The Joe Rogan Experience - #2178 - Sam Morril

Episode Date: July 19, 2024

Sam Morril is a stand-up comic, writer, and actor. He's the co-host of the "We Might Be Drunk" podcast with Mark Normand. Catch his new special, "You've Changed" on Prime Video.  www.sammorril.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience Shrain by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day! Cheers, sir. Cheers. Awesome to be at the club last night. It was fun having you. Last night was fun. It was a good night.

Really fun. Yeah, it's a fun place, man. Yeah. A little Disneyland. Yeah. it also is like a throwback I'm like I left kill Tony on Monday. I was like I haven't had my shirt smell like cigarettes in a while Yeah, all those guys in the green room are smoking cigarettes. I had one. I don't smoke What the hell yeah, that's a what the hell room yeah, this is a I mean it's one of those things like

Create something with like this intention. And you kind of hope that it'll work out good. But that place almost sort of made itself into what it is. It's like it's got an energy to it. I think it's also because of that building. Now building was made in 1927. And everybody's performed that Willie Nelson performed there Stevie Ray Vaughn Like you look in the wall black flag all the walls inside the green room all those posters Those are all bands misfits all bands that performed there Wow Because it was a rock club for a long time and then the whole thing it was ago, but it's a big venue though

I don't know if it was two different rooms. I think at one point in time. It was just one room Yeah, and then I think with the Alamo Draft House, they turned it into two rooms. Then it was a movie theater for like 10 years. And then when they went under, we had the two rooms. Then we just adjusted everything and changed a lot of stuff and turned it into a comedy club. Yeah, it's cool as fuck.

But it's got, that building's alive, man. Like you walk in the building and you're like, this fucking building's alive. It feels like everyone's a comedy fan too and you walk in it's pretty cool yeah you build it they will come it's like the field of dreams yeah not for everybody if we're you for you it is but not for everybody what do you mean well I mean not a lot of people are building comedy clubs they don't come yeah but they don't do it that way you did it right but we did it I swear to god I mean it sounds stupid I don't believe in fate necessarily I don't do it that way. You did it right. But we did it... I swear to god. I mean, it sounds stupid.

I don't believe in fate necessarily. I don't not believe in fate, but I'm not like one of those people that's like preaching it. If I wanted to believe in fate though, I would believe in fate because of this. Because it's like every... it's like... you ever drive and you just hit every green light for whatever reason? I can't drive. You don't drive? I have a license, but I'm dog shit. It hurt me as a young comic because Joe List would always shit on me because we did a road gig,

I wanna say almost 15 years ago together, where I got us the gig, it was co-headlining, but it was a casino run and the thing was like, you have to split the driving. It was like 30 hours of driving total, so he's like, can you split the driving with me? I said, of course. And we got, I already fucked up, because we flew into the wrong city on the wrong day cuz of me

I was such a fucking young idiot So we flew into like Michigan was supposed to start in Wisconsin and he was like you folks were prorated I was like I fucked us were prorated and then he was already mad at me and then he's like All right, it's your turn to drive and I started driving. He was like what the fuck is happening This is horrible and and he always quotes me as saying like no I'm not a bad driver I just can't turn well and he was like yeah that's a bad driver you fucking idiot so he tells his story about me all the time being like like a city he calls me a city hick that's like he started calling me that but yeah I can't

really I have a license I passed the test but I'm dog shit it's not that hard though I know I'm that bad. I don't know why I'm that bad at it. That's so weird. You're so smart. I would imagine you're smart to talk to. Oh, thank you. I'm a bad driver.

You're good socially. Thank you, man. You too. You're easy to talk to. So I would imagine you'd fucking be able to negotiate the distances between vehicles and turn the wheel. I bullshit my way through a license.

I failed two tests in New York, they were in the Bronx, and then I got a driver who I made her laugh out of the gate and I was like, I'm in. Like I just said like, I suck at this, I failed too, please don't fail me, and she laughed and I was like, I'm in, I'm gonna, and I hit something and she passed me. Wow, would you hit? I don't remember, it was a cone or something.

It was like- Oh, okay, something minor. It was minor, yeah, it was a kid. It was nothing, not a cone or something. It was like, okay, so mine. It was minor. Yeah, it was a kid It was nothing. Not a big deal Hit a kid, but she was like you got me to laugh man I can't imagine not being able to drive because it's just like it's freak driving is freedom Yeah, if you can't drive and there's a car there like what the fuck It's also freedom waiting on some I have someone else drive you though if that still happens That's true. If everything still happens. That's true.

If everything goes sideways and there's no more Uber and no more Lyft and you have to figure out how to work a stick shift. I'm in trouble. Yeah, you're in real trouble. Yeah, if there's a civil war, it's going to be hard to hail a cab. Yeah, if there's a civil war, where are you going to go? I think I'm going to cave pretty early. Are you?

No, I don't know. I don't know what I'll do. Come here. Really? I'm welcome here? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And if it goes sideways, you want to be in Texas. Because this place is already ready to be its own country. But why do you guys want me? What do I bring to the table? You're funny. That's all I need. I'll take it. Good guy. Good guy. Funny. Good to hang with. I have one bad set that they're going to, there's going to be a be a talk like now to cut this guy No, we've seen too many good sets. I'm not buying it one bad set. You just need a pep talk. It's like Theo Vaughn

Does he oh I did a gig with him once and he was we did a gig in Edmonton together And he was so in his head when I was like they were like obsessed with you What are you worried about? But we had to cancel the fucking, this was crazy, it's that we're in Edmonton and there was like wildfires in Edmonton. And this is how different personalities we are. Like I'm fucking in my, I'm like, oh, the show is gonna be canceled.

We're not gonna be able to perform out here. This is like bad air quality. And he's like, nah, man, it's cool. And then within 10 minutes, the agents call and they were like, the city shut down. You can't, and this was like right after COVID. So I'm like, we can't perform indoors. We can't perform outdoors.

Like, can we do fucking anything? And they were like, will you stay an extra day? And we're like, of course. And then we were like, the air will be better, right? And they're like, it's the next day, 10 times worse. Like you couldn't, it smelled like a casino, but outdoors. Were you in New York when they had that orange smoke in the air?

I felt so, whenever something bad happens in New York and I'm not there, I feel like a traitor. Cause I'm such a city hick. But no, I was on, I was like, I think the second time I did my own tour bus. So I was like really pumped to be on the road. And I saw that, I was like, I'm a piece of shit. That's Canadian smoke too.

That was Canadian smoke. That was Canadian smoke that was weird the orange thing was weird It's crazy. It's like end of the there's a lot of end of the world shit happening lately Oh, yeah a lot the orange thing was weird too because there was this great conspiracy because there was some missing chemicals there was apparently Missing chemicals like serious amounts does it always have to be like a comic book, you know, it's always so fucking creepy Well, the whole world is like basically some bizarre movie now the Trump thing the shooter The all the stuff that's coming out about the shooter now the more you read about it the more you like what? Black rock thing to yeah black rock commercial. They knew that there was a suspicious person 10 minutes before Trump went on stage.

They still wouldn't let him go on stage. They saw him on the fucking roof and they didn't engage. They saw him on the roof with a rifle. It's a bad Secret Service right there. They wouldn't put Secret Service agents on the roof because they said there was a slope to the roof and it would be dangerous. It's more dangerous if the president, ex-president, get shot, which he did. They let him get off The kid got off three shots and apparently there was one that we saw that hit his ear and you see the bullet like The photographer got a bullet. I saw that I said, yeah

Apparently there's another one of a bullet going by his left side of his fat So it went by the right side of his head hit his ear went by the left side of his head as well Because the guy got off three shots. Yeah, and he just missed Trump every time There's a one shot of him like turning his head and I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? It was that close? It's so crazy. Yeah, it's so crazy. And the fact that they had such poor security Guarding him like they did such a terrible job My uncle's gonna sit bullshit. My uncle's like there's no way this is real. I don't think it's not real but Look, here's the deal. Okay. I'm not accusing anybody of anything. Just want to be real clear. Yeah, but they have

organized assassinations before sure and when they organize usually starts a war Assassinations it looks just like that and when they organize assassinations one of the things they like to do is have some fucking loser kill the president and then they kill the fucking loser and That's a rap. Yeah, kind of like stops all the leads. Oh, everything's like where's you go? So they have his phone. They say they can't get into his phone Bitch, I know you read my text messages Yeah, why you taking so long to break into this shit? How can you not get in that kid's phone? It's always shady right they always die instantly like Kennedy assassination to like a nightclub owner kills Lee Harvey Oswald I'm supposed to believe there's a nightclub owner with a heart of gold out there runs right up and shoots him in front of cops

Yeah, what is this the end of shaft? The fuck is going on? The end of shaft Superfly that was the end of superfly The new shaft ended like that too What the fuck is going on? The end of Superfly. That was the end of Superfly. The new shaft ended like that too. The end of Superfly. He tells them something stupid like that. It's cinematic as fuck. It all feels like a movie.

Yeah, it seems like a bad movie from the 70s. Yeah. That's how every 70s movie ended. By the way, a guy just gets shot in the face. Right, there's a lot of that. Every movie, it's like a guy gets shot in the face, and then the credits and you're like, I guess this is, psh, psh, psh.

Psh. The guy on the roof is just bananas. Yeah. That roof was 150 yards away. And if you're a good shot with a rifle, hitting a human being at 150 yards is quite easy. I don't know if his rifle had a scope. I'm assuming it had a scope.

Someone said he was using iron sights. Can you find out? But he wasn't like set up in advance. He just went up there, right? I mean, that's that's how they he had a rangefinder Okay, so the kid was walking around the the whole perimeter of the area with a rangefinder which is Instantaneously if your Secret Service you see someone with a range finder walking 150 yards where the president is, you tackle that fucking guy. You don't let that guy get on a ladder. Yeah, this is your Super Bowl,

what the fuck are you doing? He brought a ladder. The guy didn't just bring a rifle, he got through there with a rifle and a ladder. I don't know what kind of rifle it is, I don't know if it's kind of a rifle where you could disassemble and reassemble like an assassin Like screw it together

But whatever it is all of it stinks every part of it stinks and every person who talks about him It's like the classic in cell like never spoke never this is this I just was an old bit of mine I was like that should be the the Reason that should be if you want a gun you have to be a good conversationalist I better be chatty because that's like every person who does these shootings things are assassinations it's like they're the quiet creepy fucking dude yeah it's very strange the whole thing's very strange there was also your photos of him that where he had long hair and wear lipstick and looked like a girl I think that was bullshit yeah I think that's bullshit too but that's a problem

like everything's bullshit now Yeah, the commercials the black rock commercial and then there's some videos of him in high school talking about having a 10-inch penis He looks like he's just having fun with his boys that there's a video. I'm saying he's a tennis penis Yeah, but it's like he's joking around you know like I have a 10-inch penis. You know like that guy thing Weird dude. I'm just a weird kid. Yeah, but how did he get in the Black Rock commercial? What happened after that? I don't know. I mean if I was the CIA. Let's just let's not even say CIA Let's say if I was some shadowy intelligence agency that did

these You know undercover operations that are a little sketchy. I don't like flying kids like that. That's your money maker. That's how you do it. If you got a plan, you wanna do something, you get some guy that's basically got nothing going on in life, and then, you know, you mentor him, become friends with him.

Maybe that guy's dad is an alcoholic who beats him. You know, maybe his mom is a fucking junkie. Who knows? Maybe he's like, his life life is terrible and you can provide mentorship and you can provide just camaraderie, something like, wow, I wish I was a secret agent. And then you tell this guy, you tell this kid, hey, you can help America.

We can work you into the program, you can be one of us. So now you are saying conspiracy. Listen. You're entertaining it Conspiracies are real. Sure. They're real. I mean whatever the fuck happened in Dallas, Texas in 1963. It's not what they tell you. That's one thing 100% you're gonna be sure that is there is no objective Journalism with no slant not leaving anything, whatever happened with Lee Harvey Oswald and the- And Kennedy and having some beef with the CIA and some weird shit over maybe Bay of Pigs or something,

right, like they immediately- How about Alan Dulles, who he fires, he fires, and then he gets assassinated and Alan Dulles is running the Warren Commission, he's a part of the Warren Commission? It's shady, so much Kennedy shit over the years is so shady. The shadiest, the shadiest.

He's the biggest indicator, the biggest piece of evidence that someone from somewhere organized together to kill that guy. It wasn't just Lee Harvey Oswald. Although I'm of the opinion that Lee Harvey Oswald was also a part of it. Because everybody wants it to be binary, right? They want it to be one or zero, yes or no.

Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone or he was just a patsy. But that guy clearly was also doing something with intelligence agencies. Because he was able to go back and forth to Russia. He learned Russian, he married a Russian woman, he came back to America. And he was also living very well when he was over there he was spending money that like you're not making this on whatever per diem horse shit you're making over there exactly he was like going to nightclubs

and shit yeah yeah the whole story sucks yeah the whole story seems like he was some sort of undercover operative like he was getting paid out Yeah, and then I think that's how they do it They make you think you're a part or something and then they pin the whole thing on you and Then you know I think there's probably multiple shooters I think there's probably more the grassy knoll thing seems super legitimate also Have you ever looked into how many people who are witnesses that wind up dying in mysterious manners? Yeah fucking crazy That's it is like we make fun of Russia for that shit, but How many people who are witnesses that wind up dying in mysterious manners? Yeah. Fucking crazy! It is like, we make fun of Russia for that shit, but...

Listen, we do it too. Of course. We're just a better country, and we're cooler. For sure. I'm pro-America. Let's get real. Let's be, yeah, come on. America all day. All day.

But, like, if you read, I was reading a Putin book, and literally every chapter just ends with a guy, like, the light going out in his hallway and getting shot in the face, and I'm like, this seems like a pretty fucked-up rise to power you know oh Putin had the most fucked-up rise to power that woman who just wrote the book on him Masha. What's her name? You know did she wind up missing she's I think Either on trial or going to prison for saying something anti-military in Russia, which I'm like alright Maybe you know what know your audience. Yeah. Maybe don't say that in Russia.

She wrote a book on Putin? What a gangster she is. It's pretty badass. That's a crazy move, man, to know they're gonna come get you when you write that book anyway. Yeah. Ooh.

Yeah. That guy might be the richest man alive, you know? He's really rich. They don't know how rich he is. His place is crazy. I always hear that there are always rumors that he's not doing well and then nothing, but there's always stomach problems.

Didn't he have like a stomach cancer? That's all rumors, right? But also, how much access to medicine does that guy have? I mean, if there's a way to cure something, that guy, they're gonna get it to him. And you have to think that Russia is not captured by the pharmaceutical industrial complex, so he probably has access to all of the off-book medicines

that the FDA won't approve and they'll try all this stuff that's like the good shit. Yeah, shit that probably works right now. Yeah, like what Kobe used to go to like Germany for knee operations because he's like they won't do this to me in America. He would go there for Regenekine. Regenekine, I've had Regenekine done. Regenekine, it's like a very advanced form of platelet rich plasma and I had a bulging disc in my neck and they the one doctor was like trying to convince me that I need to get surgery He's like we gotta trim that disc. You told you scolded me for doing this. I did something like that Yeah, well, I almost did it and I know too many people have done it. That's why I was like don't do it

You can't do it, but you'll help me a lot by the way. I think I told you this. Yeah, how's your neck now? I'm great better. I'm fucking awesome. That's great. I started I said I saw another clip of you recently where you're talking about like Getting older like how you have to just like lift weights for your health. I was like, alright, I got a trainer for my dad I'm like you guys are getting older Lift weights. right, I got a trainer for my dad. I'm like, you guys are getting older, lift weights. Yeah. I didn't do it, dude. I would just play basketball.

I was like, I'll just hoop. And then I started to have fucked up neck problems and stuff, and you gave me that neck thing, the, I forget what it's called. The iron neck. The iron neck. Yeah. But then I just started like lifting shoulders. I have such bad shoulders, man.

So I just, you're holding your neck up. You gotta. Mm-hmm. Yeah, if you don't do anything, there's no muscle there. Yeah. Your muscle only exists if you have a reason for it. If you stop, like if you get a cast, if you break your arm, your arm just shrinks out, because you're not using it.

Yeah. Your body only uses muscles, like it only has muscles where you use them. And if you stop using them for a long period of time, they just fucking shrink. Yeah. It's a weird thing. Like your body, like if you stop using them for a long period of time they just fucking shrink yeah it's a weird thing like your body like if you have to be bedridden for two weeks when you get up here a week is fuck yeah your body's a girl it's just it doesn't maintain itself yeah and the dick the dick is up every morning seems fine the dick's rockin dude but if you get older it's

more extreme because now your body's producing less testosterone less human growth hormone you're not getting as much sleep, you're not repairing in your sleep, and if you have bad diet on top of that, then it's all compounding over the years and getting worse and worse and worse. Your body doesn't have the nutrients to repair itself. And with all this atrophy, then you start getting people that bend over to pick up a package and blow their back out. And how did you blow your back out from just bending over to tie your shoes?

That's the thing too, practical strength. Like if you're like lifting, if you're doing like deadlifts, you're like, all right, that's like picking up a box. This makes sense as opposed to people that are just trying to look, like I don't give a fuck about that. I just wanna not pull shit.

Yeah, you just wanna not be old. And you know, you could do a lot of stuff with just like chin-ups and push-ups and bodyweight squats and Hindu squats. And you know, there's a bunch of different things that you could do that are just, but the most important thing is you gotta do something. And it's not just walk around.

And really even cardio's not enough, because cardio doesn't, you don't strain the muscles to make them strong. You need to do that. You need, it's a requirement for people just like brushing your teeth keeps you from getting cavities. It's the same thing Yeah, you just have to think about it that way and most people don't but also think about it

It's like a compounded benefit because you get the benefit of that But then you also get the mental benefits Like if I'm not feeling good if I'm like a little out of it in my own head a good solid workout I get out of there. I'm like Everything's fine. Dude. I did it this morning. I was like, I didn't want to do it. I was hungover. I didn't want to fucking do it. But I just, light, just go light.

And then you get out of there and you're like, ah. Yeah. It feels so much better. Way better. That's my message to the world. Please, fucking do something. I think we're designed for it. I think that's what kept us alive for hundreds of thousands of years before we had agriculture

and we organized cities and we developed the stockpiles of food where you didn't have to work as hard and then everything just shriveled away. I think everybody had to do physical things. And especially cities like this, you can just get in a car and just not walk. At least in New York, I do find myself like I walk most places. So I'm like, I'm doing something, but it's not enough, but it's something. It's better than nothing. Yeah, but it's definitely not enough. Yeah, no you gotta lift a little bit of weights

Yeah, and you know people the problem is people have like lifting weights in their head a lot of people Especially like very smart people that have had bad experiences with jocks You know in their head lifting weights is like some douchey vanity thing or a bunch of bros or bumping chests and You can't think about it that way just cuz dumb people do a thing doesn't mean the thing is dumb No, it's actually smart things actually very smart Yeah, but intellectuals a lot of like very intelligent people don't exercise. Yeah, Bill Gates does not look good I don't know if you'd call him an intellectual

You know what? I mean like a guy who has a lot of... Sure, a lot of resources. A lot of resources. Yeah, but then Jeff Bezos does look good. He looks very good. Yeah, looks like he's Jack now. Mark Zuckerberg looks great. You know, it's just a thing that people usually concentrate on one aspect or another. If they're like really into physical fitness

and really into athletic shit and training and sports, generally they're not as well read on like international politics and environmental issues. And like it's, you know, it's one or either you're like socially conscious, really kind of aware of the world, understand exactly what's going on in Gaza, or, you know, you know how much creatine you should take every day. You know what branch chain amino acids are going to produce the best results and you know what peptides are the best for healing

It's like we put things into two different boxes either you like really into your body or you're really into your brain But I say you got to be into both because if you're not really into your body your brain is not gonna work as good You're not gonna have as much energy. Yeah, especially as you get older. Yeah, dude. Yeah, it's real. It's it's the hangovers get worse They do it's fucking I think it's nice. Oh, yeah, I know I had like Maybe two drinks. Yeah, two good-sized drinks on Tuesday, and then my Wednesday morning I woke up like oh, I feel like shit for two drinks. I'm there stout It's probably really like legit for drinks when you're pouring them. Yeah, but I do that too It's like a that's what we do at the Comedy Cell and you guys do it here, too

I saw I was like the pint Liz who manages the Comedy Cell that will drink martinis out of a pint glass and I'm like Yeah, that's that's not a drink. That's like eight drinks. Yeah, it's multiple drinks. Yeah over that fucking The Buffalo Tracer, let's drink Yeah Yeah, bring over that fucking That Buffalo Tracer strength Yeah Have it a bar is interesting Yeah, in what way just said it's too much access I just go there and I see all these people just drinking it's like this is I have a bar like what the fuck happened

I know it's a cool bar. It's a great bar Yeah, lovely people working there too, and it's just such a great hang especially because you know Generally, we're there mostly just with comics and waitstaff. Thanks, sir And you got to do that thing you were talking about yesterday about the you know, where's your glass? Oh, here we go Let's go. Thanks, dude Yeah, well cheers to the fucking club being awesome man cheers to you brother. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me my pleasure mmm Club being awesome man cheers to you brother. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me my pleasure mmm Yeah, have a bars fun. It's really nice. It's nice. It's a good place to hang you what you don't have here is something

I love about and look I'm a New Yorker toy dial never move, but what I love about Leaving a bar in the winter and just like the cold air hitting your face. Yeah shit face I'm like oh, that's just like it's like almost like getting slapped by the fucking earth. Yeah, I love it and There's a few like bars in the we just like you leave a dive and you just feel like fuck I feel like it it gets cold here in the winter so rising link. Yeah, it gets you we've had What snows really knows every now and then yeah, it's snowed real bad one year like the first year We moved here, and they closed everything down it was hilarious nobody knew how to drive and they don't have any plows so they don't just do anything they just

wait till it gets warm like this is the dumbest approach to snow management ever fuck yeah so nobody knew how to drive and you would see people in like Corvettes going sideways through intersections which is everyone's sliding around yeah so every year it gets up below 30 it gets in the 20s sometimes. Yeah, trying to find This is a Jewish and I'm gonna do it might pop an antacid with this cuz I've been drinking coffee all morning I do this doesn't help you. Yeah, all sirs and shit. Oh, you have ulcers. Oh, dude I just read something about that that they think ulcers have to do with some sort of stomach Bacteria now. Yeah. They used to think that it was like the lining of your stomach was getting eroded by

stress and now they think it has something to do. I think stress hurts it. Oh, I hate to sound like a Jewish stereotype. I think stress hurts everything. Yeah. I think stress hurts your immune system, it hurts when you, the way you sleep which fucks everything up to Exacerbates everything it just makes sense that things come up with stress But I think they have some new theory about the creation of ulcers that that's different I think it has to do with microbiome Yeah, I had to get put under and they were like they did the well the x-ray thing and they're like that's a fucking ulcer It's a big ulcer. I was like alright damn, but so what do they tell you to do like eat wise? Just didn't do, uh, god, it sucks.

They're like, everything's bad, basically. You're like, can't, like, I'm like, oh, how about coffee? They're like, yeah, you can't have coffee. I'm like, well, how about alcohol? It's also, I have a drinking pod with Norman, so I'm like, well, I have to work. I have to go do my thing.

And they're like, what do you mean work? I'm like, well, I drink on my podcast. And they're just like, what? They're just like, you fucking idiot. And I was like, yeah, no, I just, can I have one? They're like, drink clear liquor. Like they're like, I'm bargaining with them that I can still drink.

And then, so then we did that. And, but then yeah, they're like no acidic foods, no spicy foods. I'm like, this is like all my favorite shit. Like acidic food is the best food. And yeah, so I just had to chill for like two months with that, I was born as fuck on the road. My friend Gary Veeder tours with me and he's so annoyed

because he wants every meal to be like a fucking home run on the road and I'm like, you can, I'll get whatever you want but I can't, he wants to like share stuff so we can try more things. So he's just getting annoyed that I'm getting like plain ass food for two months. Oatmeal and chicken breasts. That's everything I was eating.

Really? But you feel pretty- you feel weirdly kind of good aside from this like stinging in your stomach. So I've never had one? No, no, I've never had one. Damn. Yeah, I don't get ulcers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's such a weird thing. And it sucks because all my friends who have had them are just like pieces of shit. Oh really? Yeah, my friends like I've had them.

I'm like, yeah, you're like a fucking drug addict. This sucks that this is who I'm comparing myself to, you know? When did you start getting them? I got one years ago on the road in Montreal and I went to a doctor and he was just like very French a matter of fact. Like no, no, no, uh, no alcohol for 11 days. And I was like, 11 days and I was like 11 day I was like how the hell I was a young comic it was was it say once

commonly thought that stress smoking and diet were the principal causes of stomach ulcers however the heliobacter pylori bacterium is now known to be responsible for the most, how do you say that, like, duodenal ulcers, and 60% of stomach ulcers. The H. pylori bacterium also prompts many symptoms of indigestion. Treatment for stomach ulcers includes the use of antibiotics

to kill the infection and acid-suppressing drugs. Yeah, I take a pepsin a lot. Also people that eat a lot of like. Antibiotics, that's interesting because antibiotics kill all the good bacteria too. Yeah. So that probably compounds the problem. Yeah, I'm probably on borrowed time here.

Antibiotics are tricky. My friend Gordon, Gordon Ryan, he's like the greatest jujitsu athlete of all time. He had staph so many times that he was basically on antibiotics for a whole year and it ruined his stomach. Like his stomach is fucked. Well in what way?

He has the craziest stomach issues, like some buildup of fungus in there and he's always ready to throw up, he has a hard time putting down food. He has crazy stomach. I should be laughing at this but it's crazy. It just sucks. Well also when you see the guy,

the guy looks like a Greek god. Yeah. And you're like there's nothing wrong with that guy You know his stomach is completely fucked and it's all started from take you're not supposed to take Antibiotics for a year, but all these meatheads are doing jujitsu in this basement in New York City And everyone's getting staph infections, and they don't want to stop training So they just keep taking antibiotics and keep training that makes sense and. And then, you know, years later, you're dealing with this stuff. I gotta know how the fuck any doctor prescribed him that,

or if he just self-prescribed, which is even crazier. Well, if he's like a famous athlete, I mean, he probably... I don't think he was that famous back then, like wasn't as known back, he's very known now, but... All you need is one doctor to be a fan. Yeah.

I had a doctor back in the day, he was like, I love you on Conan, I'm like, can I get muscle relaxers? Sure I mean, I wasn't I wasn't doing well, but he had seen me kill on TV. So he's like this guy's cool So I was just racking up pills from him. That's hilarious. He's in the Philippines now. I think he's not even in America anymore I'm like, he's on the run For a while dude, it was beautiful. A lot of guys go to the Philippines and come back with wives. A lot of older guys. Older guys go to the Philippines.

Pretty women. Yeah, pretty, young, super happy to not just be eating noodles. Let's get out of this country. That's the pitch. I would do like some just regular protein. Yeah. When you find out what most of the world makes in terms of money, you know the number like with the 1% if you're in top 1% of the world

Yeah, $34,000. Oh shit. Yeah, if you make 34,000 American dollars you were in the top 1% of earth crushing life. So all these people to talk about the 1% Hey, look at the mirror fuckface. It's all of us, it's literally all of us. We're all ridiculous. We're talking about people in America, you know, like this inequality of wealth. What about the world? Yeah. What about the whole thing?

Also depends on the state you live in though, because 34 in some states ain't getting you far. Oh, it's not getting you far in most. Yeah. In most states it's not getting you far, you know? I mean, it's certainly not getting you far in New York and LA, but just, you know, just at me. I make 35. Yeah nice. Yeah, dude people aren't walking over here Yeah for no reason you know they're walking across that border. Yeah, it's where they are is so bad

It's so bad. You can't imagine it. Yeah It's a good play. I love America. It's the best. I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan. I like even the cities I think I won't like. Like I did a bit of my new special about Springfield, Missouri and all the feedback I was getting was like, man, it was so nice you talked about our city without shitting on it. And I was like, yeah, I had a great time.

I will have a great time in any city for a night or two. Well, I think now in particular, because of the internet, there's more aware, cool, sort of in tune people everywhere. It used to be, like back in the 80s, when you would go do gigs on the road, like you're in the middle of bum fuck Ohio, like it could be a terrible gig. They don't know what the fuck you're talking about, no references, everybody's dumb and drunk.

It could be horrible. But somewhere in the 2000s that really changed Yeah, you start to see when you go on the road Kind of go to anywhere and if they're finding about you online and then you know They're finding out that your tickets are for sale online Then they go there like these people are tuned into the world. They just happen to live in Lexington, Kentucky. That's a great city It's great. I love great place dude. That's probably fun I've had some good times there for Louisville the racetrack I want to go to the Kentucky have you been to Keeneland and Lexington, Kentucky? No. Oh god. That was Keeneland

It's like their horse racing thing you bet on the horses and everyone is so well dressed like seersucker Suits they're fucking that was my opening line in the city I said I was the only person there that didn't look like a villain in Django Unchained They're all so well dressed with their mint julep and their drink and I was like I fucking love this that is not to mention like The bourbon in that town is so fun. You just get you just get fucked up and and you feel good It's like a nice quality you go to like a random pub there and you look at the bourbon menu, and you're like what the fuck There's like a diner menu. You know it's beautiful. Yeah, I like Kentucky Kentucky's great underrated place I've never been to the Derby, but everybody tells me it's a trip. I read a hundred Thomsons

The Kentucky Derby is decadent and depraved you've ever read that I haven't fucking amazing. It's good great piece Yeah It's just talking about how fuck these rich monsters Are they're like letting their hair down and getting crazy at this horse race derby with all their nutty hats And you know the women have to wear those bizarre hats, but it's a scene. It's a scene. Yeah, buddy goes every year He's like you gotta go. It's fucking credible I'm gonna get dressed up. They do the whole thing. Yeah, I mean it's that's what I love It's like if it's new to me. I want to do it like a formula you were saying formula

Well, yeah, I just started watching it a little bit and it's it's I mean, it's here now, right? Yeah, you should come you should come I might do the weekend really the club when it's in October. Yeah, really fun Yeah, if the weekends are booked already, I'll find out what's booked. Yeah, dude. It's amazing. It's so fun first of all, they're so fast when you're like sitting right next to track like Like holy shit, they're going 250 miles an hour dude I know I had a friend who's driving me He's a very wealthy friend I have and he's driving me into McLaren and he was like showing off in LA going fast And I was like, what the fuck are you trying to kill me? He's like dude, we're going 50

But it feels like you're going like one right in those things especially if someone knows how to drive. Oh dude He's good. I mean, but those uh Those racers are fucking incredible. They lose like 20 pounds a match. Yeah, it's nuts. It's super physical Yeah, it's super physical and it's all about the reaction times I mean those guys they're the g-forces they're experiencing going on those turns like they have to have Like stiff necks they have to like stout necks just to handle the forces. I respected a lot It's one of the things I didn't really get till I watched that documentary Senna on that Oh, yeah, and then I was like, wow

This is like knowing the angles and knowing when to turn and just it's all any sport if you're thinking you fucking lose. And there's a basketball analyst, Wolf Frasier, who would always be like, he's aiming his shot, you know? You can't be aiming your shot, you gotta trust the muscle memory. Right, right, right, right.

Anytime you think in sports, it's fucking over. I was just reading that Agassi book, it's so good. I didn't realize how good, my friend Matt Ruby was like, you gotta read the Agassi book. It's hilarious, he's so fucking, he's a good. I didn't realize how good it my friend Matt Ruby was like you got to read the Agassi book It's hilarious. He's so fucking he's a good writer I'm sure he had help but like it's well-written and he's just talking about like, you know, he's so in his head and he's like mad He's playing someone like Pete Sampras. Who's like he's like I wish I was this this dull, you know, like this guy's like a brick wall He doesn't feel shit Meanwhile Agassi's like going to see Broadway shows. he's like an emo guy, he's an interesting dude,

he's like so angry, like from all these guys that abuse of dads. But he's so rebellious and angry, his dad's forcing him to play tennis, that he's at this tennis compound, they're forcing him to get better, and he's crushing everybody, because he's a prodigy,

but he's doing it in like mascara, and a pink mohawk And it's like a fuck you. It's so funny. I mean he's such an interesting guy. I had no idea I just didn't I don't know tennis that well But I I mean I respect the fuck at any any sport that like you turn on you like this is kind of great to watch Oh, yeah Tennis is insanely difficult to do at a high level. When you watch those guys moving and volleying back and forth and all the different setups.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Angles and speed and like mind games because you're on an island, man. You're not like, it's not a team sport where you get like a high five every once in a while. You're alone. That's why they're like cursing at themselves.

Like you see Mack and we're like breaking a rack and you're like, yeah, I fucking get that. And you have to be in insane physical shape because you can't get tired and not go for the ball. And the heat and the different courts. Clay and grass and ugh. Clay is so weird. Oh, it's the weirdest.

That's a weird court. You're playing on clay? It rains, you're like, so it's mud? Like what are we doing here? This is so fucking weird. But yeah, no, there's a story about him when he was nine and his dad is such a fucking grifter that his dad, Jim Brown, the football player,

sees him as a kid and he's just like looking for a game for money at this country club and he's like, let's play someone and everyone says no. And Agassi's dad's like, he'll play you for money and it's like, he's fucking nine. You're pimping out your kid for money against the best running back maybe ever. And he's like, no, I'm notping out your kid for money against the best running back maybe ever and he's like no I'm not gonna play your kid for money and he's like I'll bet my house that my kid will beat you and Jim Brown's like I

don't need a house how much money you want to play for and his dad goes how about ten grand it's like their life savings he's putting this on his son who's nine years old and you know then he sees ag as he hit the dad goes to get the money and he's like fuck this kid's kind of good and he goes How about I how about I just play you you know for fun? And then we'll decide how much Agassi whoops his ass like six three six three and he goes up I'll play for five hundred Agassi whoops his ass takes him. He's nine Wow Against a fucking Hall of Fame athlete

And his dad it's like his dad did it imagined like you're thinking about your family's mortgage and your siblings in their future And you're like if I lose we're fucked Imagine doing that to a kid like of course she's angry and broken I yeah, I don't know any we talked about Tiger Woods before but I mean any athlete who like is that good They probably had a fuck. It's like a porn star. You had a fucked up dad basically Yeah, if you get pushed that hard I mean if you get pushed Hitman's good childhood. Really? And he was one of the best. Also heavy meth user. I think meth can erase all good parenting. Yeah. All good parenting goes by the wayside when meth gets to the equation. Some people are just

I bet one of the best, I mean evil motherfuckers obviously, but yeah some people Yeah, it's weird when there's like a serial killer and he's just in it for like the love of the game You know what I mean? Cuz every once in a while. They're like no he had a good childhood Like what was the story? Didn't Ted Kaczynski have a good childhood? I think he did. No. No he didn't. No he didn't Ted Kaczynski. He was like a nerd, but like I don't think no no no no no He had a bad thing happen to him when he's a baby He was sick, and then they took him away from his parents, and he was brought to a hospital

We had no physical contact for months. Really? Yeah, for months and months. It was a part of the documentary on Netflix about him. His brother talks about it. And then after that. And his brother was a good guy though. Yeah, his brother was a really good guy. His brother turned him in.

So he was a sociopath from the time he was, like he was getting no love at all as a baby from like months and months at a time I forget the lot the length of it whatever this illness But they basically kept him in a crib and when he cried that was it no one come comfort him No one picked him up, but that's what a lot so my sister did to her baby That's yeah, but it never ever zero zero minutes in any day was anybody touching him for weeks and weeks and weeks and months and months And months on end and his brother said he came out fucked up from that.

Then he's in Harvard, he's a genius, and they put him through the LSD studies of Harvard. And part of the- That's right. Yes. Which is also some CIA, MK Ultra shit. Wormwood, that shit. So they put him through these LSD studies at Harvard,

and part of the studies were humiliation, and to see how he responds to like severe humiliation so they should just scientists like look at this fucking pussy I don't remember what they did like how they did it but it was like coordinated organized humiliation and just psychological warfare just to see what kind of response it has in this fragile now we know yeah we know we know so then he goes to Berkeley becomes a professor and saves up his money just live in the woods live in the woods and kill everybody's making technology yeah what a fucking weird guy meanwhile he

has a point like it's gonna destroy the human race and eventually take over us and he was right yeah right it's happening right now it's about his right he could have gotten his message out in a different way. Probably maybe he's a little heavy-handed Writing I'm like this motherfucker was on to something or we he was undeniably brilliant But in the documentary his brother talks about like save like he asked a girl a date and the girl said no like he would Just like write the most evil vicious letters to her and harass her. And he was a crazy person before the LSD studies. And then the LSD studies, they just cracked him. Yeah.

Damn, yeah. Now I remember there was a story about him. He made a little, he used his intellect. He made some kind of firecracker to show off to a girl in high school. And she was freaked out by it. And I'm like, holy shit What a defining moment for a guy who becomes pure evil and uses explosives, right? It kills scientists. Yeah

technology makers Yeah, yeah Yeah, it's um, it's a weird part of our history is those experiments that they did on people and I'd like to know how many Of them turned out real bad Like how many of those people that were involved in the Harvard LSD studies went on To become psychopaths. Yeah, how many lives got ruined because of that? Well, who was the guy as Errol Morris made the documentary on Netflix about? The guy who was in the L is I think was his dad No, someone's dad was in the LSD studies and they absolutely threw him out a window

Like he knew something he knew too much and they threw him out a fucking window Yeah hundred percent they do that and it's like imagine you just grow up and you're like my dad was murdered by the CIA I mean, it's pretty fucked up. It's very fucked up. You want cigar. I'm not a big cigar guy No, no, but I'll keep drinking with you. All right. I'm just thinking about popping a cigar You want to be rude? Fuck it if you have one I'll have one. All right, let's go. What do you got here? Project MK ultra did CIA scientist Frank Olson jump or was he pushed? Yeah, he's probably pushed I mean

It's it's always one words like was there a note right and even if there was a note they could have fudged that but the official Verdict was suicide. Oh he fell from the window of his Manhattan hotel room in 1953 died on the sidewalk in his undershirt and shorts About 2 a.m. The official verdict was suicide, but a second autopsy raised questions Although not proof of a possible homicide Olson's family memory many others have been searching for answers in a hall of mirrors, dude I had a woman jumped out the window in front of me one splat like ten feet in front of me in Manhattan I was I was going home. I was like in sixth grade, and I was trying to get the bus, and I'm with my friend, I stopped to take out my Metro card

and right in front of me. Oh, shoot, could have killed you. I mean, if I didn't stop, I'd be dead. It's crazy to think about. You're just so, your mind protects you, it's really fucked up when you experience something like that because I wasn't scared, I was just kind of like, oh shit. I was like, oh shit, there's like a movie going on or someone's shooting a movie.

You don't like accept it as real, you know? Oh wow, so you thought it was a fake body. Yeah, but it got me out of a history test the next day. I remember I called a friend- What did she look like when she hit the ground face first didn't die instantly that's the one thing I remember face first good yeah she face first she was mumbling to herself that was the most fucked up thing is I think she hit the ground yeah oh it didn't kill her instantly

She muttered something like I'm cold and my friend's mom saw it and she went into a store and got her a blanket Oh god, how far did she fall from do you know? I don't know Probably like I would guess at least eight stories would be my guess Maybe five. I don't know Not the end she didn't live but she didn't die know. Oh my God, and she lived. Oh. Well, not in the end she didn't live, but she didn't die instantly. Oh, God damn. But I remember I called my friend's mom, who was like a major narcissist after this,

and I just wanted to talk to someone because my parents weren't home. And I was like trying to tell him, and the mom just like picked up the phone and talked about herself for like 20 minutes straight. No way. And then she's like, how was your day? I was like, I just saw someone die,

and she's like, all right, well, Elliot's not home right now. I was like, that minutes straight. No way. And then she's like, how was your day? I was like, I just saw someone die. And she's like, all right, well, Elliot's not home right now. Like that was it. Jesus Christ. It was a weird fucking call. Put that lady in the LSD studies. See what we can do with her. That should be a punishment.

Well, I think. It shouldn't be, yeah. We're talking again about like this kid on the roof with Trump, like that's the kind, you find someone who's all fucked up from life, and you know. Can I do another whiskey too? Sure.

That's a very specific kind of person. It's hard to make a real total narcissist, like your friend's mom, who you just tell them about someone jumping off of a fucking roof in front of you and almost killing you and splattering in front of you, and they don't even care. That doesn't have anything to do with me.

I think she just didn't know what to say. I don't think it was malicious, the way she's like, oh, I'm sorry. I don't think she meant bad, but I think she just wasn't equipped to give me anything. Some people aren't equipped to have real conversations. They just talk. They just talk and talk at ya.

I know. Yeah. But if you find someone who's really fucked up, if you were a part of a secret program You would probably kind of want to be going to visit schools to see if you could find someone who's on the edge Yeah, recruit them You know get them especially if you're planning on killing them anyway Like this they knew that if this kid was gonna go on the roof and shoot the president they could talk him into going

On the roof. Let's assume not even this scenario. Let's not the roof. Let's assume, not even this scenario, because let's not be crazy. Let's just say if you wanted to set up a scenario, we're gonna have someone assassinate the president. You get some guy whose life is a fucking complete and total disaster. You either hypnotize him or you mentor him, you give him psychiatric drugs, you do a bunch of things, you get him to do it,

and you know that once he gets on top of that roof and shoots the president everyone's gonna shoot him And it's nice and clean they never let those guys live my question is though have of course, but my question is Do you want him actually to kill Trump in this scenario? Yeah? They definitely wanted him to yeah, there was also an array. I don't don't you think I find it a little irresponsible Gun I was willing to guys could keep talking. I'm sorry sorry interrupted, but I can't find a picture of the gun I'm so put off on people like you know Lauren Boebert and shit were like being like Biden hired Biden hired him to To do this and you're like stop trying to pour gas on the fire. Yeah, how do you know we were so fucking lucky?

He's not dead so lucky the country like I believe in that I and I and I Part of being maybe an entertainer is like I get to see a unified crowd that's part of the beauty of being able to tour as a comic is like I get to see a room of people laughing together and I I always hate when comics are like going out of their way to divide a room. Yeah. And I feel the same way, I mean more so even about politicians who I'm like why are you trying, why are you aiming for chaos? Like you really can kind of unite people if you give a good speech. Of course. You really can. Like you really can inspire people and unite people with the right

words. Yeah. And the right, like the right real feeling behind it where it really resonates with people and they go, well, you know what? He's right. He's right. We should do it differently. We should, we should relax a little, get our shit. Which is really funny when after the assassination attempt,

Biden is like, we have to put aside our differences. Like you were just saying it was Hitler. I know, but also there was a big deal that Biden called Trump and that he, uh, and he was like, there's no place for this. I'm like, murder? Yeah. Yeah.

There should not be place for assassinating people. There also should be no place for you using so much hyperbolic statements that you're saying that your opponent, if they win, it's the death of democracy. Because they kept saying that over and over again. He's gonna be a dictator. Yeah, they all do that. Both sides do that. He's gonna be a dictator, he's gonna be a tyrant.

It's the death of democracy. He's gonna put people in camps. It all started when we started comparing every politician to Hitler, because it gave us nowhere to go. Right, right, right, right. Here's the problem, like every cable news show, they thrive the way politicians are trying to thrive now.

It's like chaos. It's like you are poisoning every audience member who watches this shit. Cable news is literally they're pouring poison down your throat. And the way they're set up, they kind of have to do that because otherwise they're not gonna survive. Well, they're already, when Trump was out of office,

they were dipping like a motherfucker. A huge dip. Huge dip. Huge dip. Because he was giving them content. They were dipping like a motherfucker huge dip huge dip huge dip Yes, he was he was giving them content. Yeah. Yeah the fear content. Yeah. Yeah, it's uh It's it's not a good time for being informed. It's a very confusing time in terms like Understanding exactly what's going on the world. Yeah, it's real weird It's just weird real weird, you know, you you know you don't know what the fuck is happening It's no official reports of things and there's so many different things that are popping off

There's so much going on and Ukraine and in Israel And it's like yeah, what's going on America and some of just try to kill the president and like you see how I couldn't believe that shit I Was I was like this can't be fucking when did the when did the world turn into the World Wrestling Federation? I was in all of it. I was in Italy when it was going on with the Yeah on the roof. Yeah cop went on the roof. He pointed a gun at the cop and the cop jumped off the roof You never see that in like an Eastwood movie Fuck this shit. Yeah, I heard eight times. Yeah, the cop is like I'm getting out of here. This says he fired eight times, that's right. Really?

This then also says his father reported it missing later that night. With his rifle. Yeah, the father made a phone call. Did he give him the rifle? So I know it was the dad's gun. Do they know if it was a gift or if it was he borrowed it or stole it? That says the son missing along with his rifle so that was his son's rifle. No, it says well It's hard to say what he's saying there because it could be saying the son was missing with his rifle But it could be saying the son was missing with his son's rifle

See what it says it Crookes father reports his son missing along with his rifle That could either be interpreted as Crookes father's rifle or the kids rifle mm-hmm right am I wrong yeah there were over a dozen firearms found in the crooks household so there was a lot of guns in the house how would you like to have that be your fucking kid to identify him well you can use a photo I saw his face but no they said that FBI used that DNA to figure it out oh and they're not sure it's him? And they're not giving any explanation on exactly how they did that. And people were like,

How they ran a DNA test? They might've used like DNA.com or ancestry.com or something like that. Oh, they definitely probably use those fucking things. All those databases, we're all compromised. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have done it too. You did it too?

Yeah, I did it. Why'd we do it? Well, because I was interested. A drunk girl in a bar convinced me to do it it and I was like, yeah what I was hammered I was like, yeah, I want to know how fucking Ashkenazi Jew I like gives a shit. I know right like clearly I have some Turkish in me with these eyebrows I know what I am basically, but she was like no you need to know and she did it like on the spot in the bar She ordered for me and then I was like, oh wow. I'm a fucking idiot

in the bar, she ordered it for me, and then I was like, I'm a fucking idiot. Well, you gave away all your DNA to China, and now they can make a bio weapon that specifically targets you. That's a new thing that they can do now. How does that work? Well, certain people have certain genetic, people are different, right?

There's certain people where certain genes impact them differently. For instance, the reason why some black people get sickle cell anemia is because their family has a history, their ancestors have a history of protection against malaria. So because they've survived malaria, somehow or another, that gene manifests itself in sickle cell anemia, right? And then like people from certain parts of the world have genes that are more associated with alcoholism or have genes that are more associated with certain,

so if they could find like a particular vulnerability that you may have or that certain races may have even, you can create a bio weapon specifically, and this is all theoretical of course, but specifically to target an individual person Don't they kind of already know if that's your tendency what race you are like? I don't know I mean, I think it's probably really like some people think they're one thing and they find out they're not like They do a Woody Allen film festival in New York and just nuke it. I'm like fuck. I walked right into that one

I think but for the biological thing, I think it's like there's very specific things like you're different than me and and I'm different than Jamie and there could be a Certain biological weapon that only targets Jamie's DNA and they can use it on him See if you could find out whatever the fuck that is now. Because they're talking about this in terms of the vulnerability of selling our entire DNA database. Because apparently if you signed up for one of those, it's either DNA.com or Ancestry.com or 23andMe.

One of those sold their whole database. And I think- By the way, do you get the alerts where they're like, we found another family member for you. I'm good. I'm good. We're fucking, we're tapped out here. I'm busy. Yeah. I'm about to change my number anyway. I'm gonna blend the family as is. I've step siblings. I'm like, let's let's cap it here. Yeah, that's enough of bringing strangers into your life. But they tell you, what's funny is they tell you like random shit on those sites where they're like, you prefer salty to sweet and I'm like holy shit that is true. Yeah yeah yeah. But then sometimes you feel like you're talking to a chick who just knows your astrological sign and I'm just dumb and I'm like yeah I guess that I guess I am. But there's certain things like

cheerful. The taste of cilantro, some people it tastes like soap. Do you like it or not? I like it. Yeah yeah. Some people don't like it. What does it say, Jim? It's potentially hypothetical, but this is what people inside the government have said about it. Okay. That's what it is where you can actually take someone's DNA, you know, their medical profile, and you can target a biological weapon that will kill that person or take them off the

battlefield and make them inoperable. You can't have a discussion about this without talking about the privacy and commercial data and the protection of commercial data because expectations of privacy have degraded over the last 20 years. People will rapidly spit into a cup and send it to 23andMe and get really interesting data about their background. And guess what? Their DNA is now owned by a private company.

It can be sold off with very little intellectual property protection or privacy protection. And we don't have legal and regulatory regimes that deal with that. The data is actually going to be procured and collected by our adversaries for the development of these systems. That's what I'm talking about. Oh cool, we're all fucking stupid. This is flat-out Alex Jones stuff. Like if you'd heard this five years ago, like Alex, relax. Yeah. They're finding your own personal DNA and they're developing weapons specifically designed to target you I'll say for myself. They don't need to do much research. You could take me out pretty fucking easy. I

think it's just To know that they have them for everybody anybody that might be a bit of a creepiest fuck That's very creepy even just like the was the Cambridge Analytica stuff just as stuff they have on you You're like, yeah, this is like not good. I don't like how- It's just the tip of the iceberg. Yeah, but then I also think of it in terms of podcasts. We're like, if we log this many hours, we're not gonna get canceled

because there's too much shit to pull from. So I look at it the same way. I'm like, if you have this much of everybody, maybe we're all okay. Well, think about podcasts, if we've said awful shit, we have said awful shit in these little clips, but we've also said not awful shit. Way more.

Thousands and thousands of hours, and we're comedians. So people go, yeah, but what was the whole conversation like? Why did Shane say that? Why did Joe say that? Why did they say that? Well, it's because you why did Shane why did Shane call me a dirty Jew because the Knicks beat the Sixers that's why suck it Shane sorry dude go Knicks in the moment it had to be okay

but I think you know I saw him two months ago in Nashville he is off it's like a video game getting away from Shane because he you can't get away unscathed I'm like dude. I'm so hungover. I done killed Tony the night before I was in Nashville. I'm like please the big boss Yeah, I'm just like trying to get away from him He's like you need one more drink to call that hangover. I'm good, but then he talks between him and Joe DeRosa I'm like this is like the two bosses. Yeah, I'm like Joe you're 46 Stop doing shots you're smoking Marlboro Reds and doing shots. you're 40 fucking sick. Yeah, and he's not a healthy 46 either no doing marathons When we're in here would do protect our park Shane's always the one with the beer bong. It's like dude

It's time. It's time. You see that big fucking meaty hand reach across I'm with guys like Shane for me are like I still enjoy drinking and I like the buzz that builds gradually I don't like just getting super fucked up I like getting fucked up like over the course of the night, but I like building to it I like the the build yeah, and Shane drinks like a 19 year old he does But he drinks Bud lights, which is the calculated move you're gonna drink a lot That's the Stanhope move to I know stand up because cocktails now But for the longest time Stanhope drank light beer he goes I like a light

beer cuz I could just start it early just keep a nice slow burn. Dude you're pretty good impressions. That's okay. That's not bad. If I can talk to him from around him I can do him better. I love him I he was a I was such a fan of his I still am but I mean I remember those like old albums like something to take the edge off and shit. Oh my God, that Bobby Barnett story, Doug Stanhope. It's just a I fucked the chick story, but it's not. It's got layers, and there's Henry Phillips playing the bass in the background.

Stanhope is like, and he's so cool. He's such a cool fucking guy. He really is that guy. That's not an act. He is like, Attell always says he's like the closest we have to Bill Hicks. Yeah, but he's a different thing, you know. He's just, he's his own thing, you know.

It's like- For sure. He's Doug Stanhope, you know. For sure. He inspired a lot of Stanhope wannabes. Oh dude, the mics. So I'm a different generation of you in standup, but like I remember the guys who were getting, like when I was coming up, the guys. Oh dude, the mics, so I'm a different generation of you in standup, but I remember the guys who were getting, when I was coming up,

the guys getting ripped off at the mics were Mitch Hedberg, Dane Cook, a little bit of Burr, there's some Burr, I mean obviously- Lot of Mattel. I mean, I'm one of them, let's fucking be honest. We all know who we, I remember Norman and I would laugh talking about, he's like, I'm like a Norm MacDonald, Jerry Seinfeld thing,

and I was like, I fucking was obsessed with Dangerfield and the Tales, so it was like, you know. And then. Do you see the handwritten notes we have in the green room? I love them. Dude, I love the green room. Isn't that incredible?

No, I love comedy history shit like that. But those are from his wife, his wife gave them to us. I talked to her on the phone, because I was after Whitney's podcast, she would drive me to, we would drive, doing the same show, and she's podcast, she was driving me to, we were doing the same show, and she's like, do you wanna talk to, she knows I love Rodney, so she's like, do you wanna talk to Joan Dangerfield?

I was like, yes! So she calls me, or she calls Joan Dangerfield, and Joan picks up the phone, and I'm like, oh, I loved your husband so much, I was like, Back to School is like my favorite movie ever, and I love his stand-up, his Carson appearances, I'm like, I much. I was like, Back to School was like my favorite movie ever. And I love his standup, his Carson appearances. I'm like, I'm obsessed with Dangerfield. And she's like, you wanna hear a Dangerfield joke

no one's ever heard? And I said, yeah. When he was going under for a big operation, he was like, fuck, I might not make it. And if I don't have my mind, I don't wanna be alive. Like it's all I have in my comic. And he comes out of it and the doctor goes, did you cough anything up?

And he goes, yeah, 500 last week to a whore. He woke up with a fucking joke. So cool. I love shit like, I, danger, back to school to me is like the best comfort watch ever because it's like, it's only every character serves to set up his standup. His wife's like, you're impossible, oh yeah,

and you're easy, you know? It's all just perfect fucking jokes. You're tall and fat, yeah, well you're short and ugly. You remember the scene with, I think about the scene because it's been ripped off so much, but when they're getting, it's like Burt Young is so funny in that movie too, but when they're getting drunk at the bar,

it's like young Robert Downey Jr. who's like hilarious in it too and they're bringing them pictures bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until someone passes out then bring us one every ten like you can't be more fun than that yeah no he was great I saw him live when I was a security guard whoa where I was a security guard at Great Woods no shit Great Woods is a it's a concert place in Mansfield, Massachusetts and I was working security there and this is I was 19 years old and I got to see a lot of people there I got to see I got to see Bill Cosby there Wow. I saw but that was a good show

It was a good show. Yeah, Bon Jovi there. Nice. I was barely paying attention to Bill Cosby cause I was trying to pick up this girl I was doing a lot of chatting. I missed a lot of the comedy part This is before I decided I was gonna be a comedian So I only could for you having to work to pick up a woman at a Cosby show Yeah, but so I was backstage like there was like this back area and Rodney was back there and Rodney was wearing a Bathrobe he had nothing on but a bathrobe just naked in a bathrobe with slippers And he goes on stage like that. That's how he'd go on stage he'd go on stage balls ass naked with a bathrobe on and slippers and

Just murder so he went through this phase of his career towards the end where he would go on stage in a bathrobe on and slippers and just murder. So he went through this phase of his career towards the end where he would go on stage in a bathrobe. And he's just balls naked with a bathrobe on. It's so weird. And he would be backstage hanging out with people, his balls would be hanging out and he didn't even care. Apparently he had this giant dick and these huge balls

and they'd just be hanging out. And Roddy would just be smoking joints and hanging out backstage with everybody. Once you're 80 plus, it's like kind of adorable. 80 plus and super wealthy and famous and he's doing this enormous theater. It's like this place where Bon Jovi does, in Mansfield, Massachusetts,

this huge performing arts place. He was the best, man. My mom got me a DVD set of his for my birthday when I was a kid and it was like, I loved it. It was like, oh my God. See, he was, he's got a fucking sock over his dick. And he's just got the serious face, it's perfect. Oh dude, look at the back to school robe too,

it's fucking perfect. Dude, the score for that movie too, Danny Elfman, like dun dun dun, dun dun dun. It's so cheerful. But yeah, he, on the DVD set, it's kind of sad. There's so cheerful. Yeah, but uh, yeah, he uh on the DVD set is a set It's kind of sad. There's a set when he's really old and he's it's he's in Vegas and they're not good The crowd is not good. He's kind of struggling but there's a moment where he just is like fuck it and just rattles off like

So many in a row so many great one-liners and they start to pick up and they start giving an applause break and just pauses He goes I know a lot of good fucking jokes It's such a triumphant moment. You're like 80 years old. He's just like fuck you. I'm a store. I'm still a pro I met him at the laugh Factory like many many years later after I'd seen him when I was a you know security guard I was a just Just moved to Hollywood like 94 and he was there and he was still doing like a little bit of stand-up And he showed up and I met him there with his wife. I don't know if it's the same wife He was always moving around

But he was you know, it was interesting just to see him. It's just weird. Was he cool. Yeah, he's round Hey, what do you know? Strip yeah, because his club Dangerfield in the city. they'd be like, why are you always doing drugs here? He's like, what am I gonna do, drugs at my club? You know, it's like, fuck you, I'm doing drugs here. But, I mean, that was, I never really played Dangerfields. It was like a bad club by the time I came around. It was a bad club when I played it.

I loved it. I used to text you, Dangerfields. Mine has just always been a bad club. It was always a bad club. It was a good club when he did the young comedian special from there, when he did Rodney's young comedian special. Those were great. Amazing.

Dude, I remember the lineup. Dude, it's like Robert Schimel, Bill Hicks. Yeah, dude. Lenny Clark. Yeah, Bill Hicks had a set on there that I was like, this is fucking epic. Robert Schimel, I still remember the joke he opened with because it's such a good fucking joke where he goes,

he opens with this joke. He goes, I heard a guy got arrested for animal necrophilia. How do you plead for that? I'm sorry Ronor. I thought the cat was alive all his fucking it that's a open with a Fucking a dead cat joke and a crush. No he was a beast. I love Robert Schiml stuff Yeah, Robert Schiml was amazing. He was amazing those old comedian specials really got me into comedy Those were like really... Oh, yeah, man. They were the way you found out about like Rick Dukkerman. That's the way you found out about people.

Oh, he was hilarious. Yeah, he was an LA guy that for whatever reason it never made it, you know, he put he was funny on the young comedian specials like man, this guy's good. I remember those lineups. They were just fucking beasts. Like there wasn't a they were all killers. They were good comments on their fucking dice coming out with oh, yeah Nelson with the football helmet on that shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Dom. Herrera. Oh, I love him Jerry Seinfeld So many comics came out of those young comedian specials like Rodney was the gatekeeper He well, you know, he really cared about comedy and he really wanted like young comics. You're doing that dude Yeah, I will I learned a lot of it from him

That's one of the reasons why like having his handwritten notes on the wall The green room is it means a lot to me because I kind of think about it the same way I like I know about so many comedians because Rodney Dangerfield was generous and he wanted people to know about great comics He didn't feel threatened by him. He wanted them to do well, dude I still remember his intro for Bill Hicks on that special where he goes, this next comic, he's so far ahead of his time, his parents haven't even met yet. Give it up for Bill Hicks. I'm like, dude, you found jokes in the intros? Yeah.

That's how good he was. And it's accurate. But you're also like, you created this place. It must feel cool to see these young comics like, finding themselves. It's like fucking cool. Yeah, it is cool. It's real cool. I enjoy it I mean it's selfish to you build a good culture It is so similar to sports where like you see you can be a talented rookie But he's on a team with no good vets. Mm-hmm, and he ain't gonna be good, right? But what you need you need someone to guide you

I was very fortunate that I had good comics looking out for me when I was a young comic and the culture in New York is Also strong. I mean like, you know Colin Quinn and Dave Attell when I was young were like very like oh This is how you be a comedian Yeah, you you keep turning over new shit and you keep like I love I'm on the early shows a lot the Comedy Cellar And it'll be I'm usually like following either Colin or Jim Norton and they're so prolific. They're just always taking chances, they don't give a fuck. And they give a fuck, but they don't give a fuck in the right way.

Where they're like, if this doesn't work, I'm gonna make it work. Jim's new shit is so interesting. It's so good. But it's all veteran leadership and it all bleeds down to like, and then we wanna do that for the next generation. Like I want the, I want,

I'm excited when I see funny young comics. Yeah, yeah, me too. There's young comics at the cellar like Maddie Weiner is a fucking killer. Like she's a young comic who's, you know, like Ethan Simmons Patterson, Daniel Simonson, they're like young fucking killers at the cellar and you're like, oh fuck I used to be the guy who would go up and kill and now I'm like fuck I got to turn over jokes and

Then they're gonna become like, you know, it's it's all good for the culture, you know, it is It's good for the culture and it's good for us it's good for you selfishly to be generous because Those people that are coming up the better they do the more it's gonna fuel you and you're gonna do better It's good for everybody and it's you're right about like having like a culture of top comedians It keeps everybody strong and that's the club. I mean like last night. We're hanging out with Ron white this fucking Brian He's the best he's such a nice guy. He was very nice He made fun of me for being a Knicks fan,

but other than that, he was pretty cool. That kid, Ari Matty from Estonia opened up. I talked to him for a while. He's a fucking killer. Yeah, we chatted for a bit. Fucking killer, super smart. Yeah. And he's one of these young, hungry dogs that's coming up,

and there's a gang of them at that club. And there's people moving there from all over the place, like Tyler Fisher and all these other people that have moved here. Tony Kosilas. Yeah, Tony Kosilas. He opened for me at Hyenas the weekend I got banned there that's where we met. You got banned? I've been banned from a couple clubs I don't get it. What did you do? My act. That's what my agent goes, what did you do? My jokes? No they were starting the show like an hour late every night and it's like when you have a 10-30 show

and you're starting at 11-30 I'm kind of like guys come on fucking turn it around and then they were doing like blow job shots on stage, they bring people in the crowd, I'm like, dude, you're just fucking, please just bring me on. I was like, it's like I'm going on 12-30 every night. Who's doing the blow job shots? The club did that.

So they're like, so they- Oh, God, so they're trying to encourage people to drink? Yeah, which I'm fine with. I want the club to make money. I'm fucking, I'll drink on stage and be like, fucking have a drink with me. Right. I'll even do a show with a crowd sometimes.

I don't give a shit, but like, you gotta stop delaying the show so much with nonsense. And then I remember I made fun of the logo, the hyenas logo, just like fucking having fun with it. And he came in my room, he goes, we're a fucking family business. And I was like, I made fun of a hyena. What am I doing to your family?

I don't know. It was a hyena and a tux, and then like two weeks later someone sent me, they changed the logo. Ah! Ah! But I remember Tony was like, he was like, we had fun, we were laughing a lot.

So how did that get you banned? He, I made fun of the club and shit on stage. I was like joking, I was like blowjob shush. I started, I'm joking around, I'm not job, Josh. So now I'm joking around. I'm not being like harsh, but like I'm fucking around. And he was like, he emailed my agent at the time. And he was like, if you don't drop Sam as a client, I will never book one of your clients again.

And like, you know, I wasn't a huge act. And he said, and he said, three clubs you own too. So it's like, I'm like, oh, so now you're putting me in a position where I'm an asshole. So my agent called me like, what did you do? And I was like, nothing, you know, fucking. And then she was like not as supportive

as she should have been to me. She should have been like, fuck you. Like he's doing his jokes, you know? But she was like, this is what you do. Cause I did something at the same thing at the Syracuse funny bone Which was what happened with this? How did it resolve it didn't I was just like I'm not gonna write him an apology I'll apologize if I do something wrong happily. I'm not like I don't have an ego in that way We're like if I fuck up I'll totally be like hey, I'm really sorry

Did they have anything specific that they were saying to your agent? I just wanted them club were saying to your agent? I said I disrespected the club. Am I making fun of the Haida logo? So you do blowjob shots, dude. What do you fucking tell me? Disrespecting their club. Disrespecting our sacred institution. Dude, it always...

Egos. What I like about your club is like, I always find as a young comic, you don't get the love you deserve at your home club usually. Right. Because they see you as like a door guy or like... Right, that's where you started.

But I think you do raise people up there there which I don't think is normal I really I think like New York Comedy Club in New York does that a little bit where they like kind of develop young guys where I think is good but I do think it's a right like comic strip is where I started dude they didn't really build I still have love for the club but they didn't really build us up they kind of like took pleasure in keeping us down a little bit Yeah, they would do like lottery shows to us. They recorded me one fucking week They were like you want to audition for the main spots You got to be on like an America's Got Talent type show and I'm like you're fucked by the way just auditioning for the late

Night back then I remember I auditioned so you do a lottery. It's like over a hundred comics Who's which sounds like nothing now, but in the day that It was like, you know, and I remember I auditioned I draw six out of six. So you're going on after the regular show It's like an eight o'clock show the next show starts at 1030 same crowd and I draw six out of six I'm like fuck I'm going on at like 11. They're gonna be tired I hope these comics don't suck so they walk the crowd and the guy who goes on before me has a fucking nervous breakdown on stage I'm not making this up. He on stage. He goes he goes. I fuck I'm fucking bad at this. Oh my god I'm fucking bombing and I watched him walk 70 out of the 80 people for my audition and I'm like

I gotta go on for 10 people now. This is crazy And I just went on and like the owner walked up to me and he's like Yeah, I mean mean the bar was low at that point. And he's like, you didn't walk the last 10, good job. But he was like, he didn't panic, so I'll put you on for late night. But then for the regular spots, they were like, you gotta, they fuck with you. My point is your club, I feel like, and some of the fucking with is good.

It is good because it makes you like, I how bad you want this shit, right? Yeah, but so I think to a certain point the hazing can be good But also like it's a new generation, you know, it's it's different it's it the hazing is probably good because it weeds out the people that aren't gonna have the gumption to push forward and Get through bad sets and get throw it and I... Totally. And I used to tell comics all the time, be nice to club owners because you don't want to be one of them. I always say that and then I want to become one of them. But I always said that because they're different than us.

We need them. We're not going to go do that. We're not going to go open up a fucking club. So you need these people. So it's just like, there's an adversarial relationship. You feel like they're fucking you on the money or they're not they're lying about it being sold out or whatever it is where you're not getting what you deserve or but that's in the beginning. Yeah once you become undeniable then they have to

pay you right but the thing is it's like there's a separation between the people that do it and the business and that's where all the friction comes from. In my club there's no separation from the people that do it in the business and that's where all the friction comes from. In my club there's no separation from the people that do it in the business because the people that do it own it and it's all ours. Like the way I refer to it I don't refer to it as my club I refer to it as our club this is our club. That's cool. This club is set up for comedians it was never set up to make any money. The whole concept about it was I just want to make something where I don't lose money. I just want to break even. If I break even I'll be super happy it's not a money

making venture at all so the money structure is different the comedians get most of the money and there's plenty of money for the bar and there's plenty money for the wait staff there's plenty of money for everybody it's just you can't be greedy and in most environments the club makes most of the money and the comedians don't until a certain level Yeah And then they can get the door like big comics big names where they sell out anywhere And it's like a good thing to have them at your club and clubs make a deal, but they're still making money

They're just not making an insane amount of money But my point was the comedians do all of the fucking work if it wasn't we're selling the comedians We're not selling we're selling drinks to see the comedians. We're not selling, we're selling drinks to see the comedians. But that's not, I don't think that's the normal mindset. Like, I can't tell how often I be at a club and I hear the drinks shake and I'm like, I'm here to move drinks.

Yeah. You know what I mean? That's the business part. That's because the people that own that business aren't comedians. But it's funny that that's the best way to make a business is to make a business where you just do it the best way to express the art form Like and then there's a lot of great clubs, too

I'm like, I'm not I don't want to sound here like I'm no I love clubs like comedy works in Denver Hilarities in Cleveland like I fucking love them. I love great Nick and Sam. Yeah, wise guys in Salt Lake is Yeah, you know, there's there's a lot there's so many great club I'm forgetting a million right listen. I'm forgetting a million too, but I love them and I'm they and I love comedy clubs I really do love just the I I really don't really respect comics who don't tour I don't like if you're not I can tell when you're special if you didn't fucking Tour with it right I can tell if you like I did New York in LA and I was like here You got to take that shit to Chattanooga and Knoxville and fucking also when you do in New York and LA you're doing like 15 minute sets. I know

but you know I mean like they do an hour there in the back but like you got to just take it you got to sludge it through the mud. There's something I always always talk about with like gaff again you know all those like New York guys would be like you got a tour you got it they really emphasize like cut the fat dude. Yeah yeah cut the fat and then see how different people in different places react to it because your act is gonna go over different San Francisco than it is in Florida I know just is just it but both are fucking great both fucking great you know like Tampa for whatever reason has been the side splitters you

know they've always been fucking really good, you know make up with hyenas Never I'd be happy to I'd be happy to if you're listening hyenas The one I might have done. I don't know you probably just gave it a direction get rid of your stupid fucking hyena If you if someone can make fun of it and it hurts your feelings you got a dumb logo I Don't give a shit either. I mean like it's like I know what am I gonna hold a grudge against hyenas? I don't give a shit. You should hold a grudge against that guy that wanted you to get dropped by your agent. That guy could have ruined your career. Pretty classless. Pretty classless move.

That's such a shit move. And I didn't have a lot of juice and like to be told like I fucked up. I'm like a little bum that she told me I kind of fucked up I'm like, you know, I didn't you know, I'm like, I'm not a diva dude I like I I'm one of your dudes who like happily do 45 weeks a year on the road. I'm like I'm out there I'm happy to do this. Yeah, you're making money off me stupid. Yeah, have my back not a ton at the time But I was out there working. Yeah enough Well, it's kind of think like it's like a young athlete like if they keep going They're gonna eventually make it into the majors and they're gonna make money I think of it in sports analogies like always that's just how I always because I love sports

So I also sports is another thing like comedy like there's no guarantee you may make it. You may not make it Yeah, it's hard instead of carrying an ACL. It's like drug problem I'm problems girlfriend problems. There's so many things that can go wrong with you mental health problems There's so many things and get wrong on the and also it's so not guaranteed that you're gonna keep coming up with ideas Oh, dude, I'm this is my six hour of jokes that I just burned and I'm like, I'm fucking tired I'm like my mind is tired. Like I just don't feel like I have it. I never feel like I have it after this It's really hard to keep doing this. It's a constant process It's a privilege to to deal with this challenge, but it is fucking like I'm like, wow I don't feel funny most of the time you'll come up with it

Just like it always did like Shane was saying that after his last special now the stuff he's doing now is arguably the funny shit I've ever seen from him. It's just how it works. I like my new shit, but it's I don't really like it It's gonna take time. It's a little it's a five-year-old kid right now It's not a it's not a 25 year old man crashing through the front line It is a five-year-old kid trying to entertain a fucking room full of drunks. Yeah, ain't lasting long Well, it's just you have Bambi legs your jokes have a little Bambi legs Awkward and shit. They're not moving that good yet. It's so true. It's it it is It is cool though to like it's more fun to be in the creative mode because like when I'm about to tape and I'm

Killing I'm like I'm a fucking hack because it's you know it works like shit. Yeah, it's challenge to work too easy Yeah, you're like this should work, but then when you're when you're struggling a little bit You're like this is fucking this is common Yeah, this is the the way and then when you struggle and then you come up with a new punchline a new tagline you know I just added a new tag to one of my bits that makes me laugh and it's like it just came out of the blue it's a good feeling sitting in front of the computer I'm going over my material my oh like this this is it and I to add that in then I

add it on stage the next day and then Tony's like one line did that come from yeah like I wrote it last night your friend knows is the best Yeah, Norman watched me the other night, and he was like that's fucking that Anne Frank line I was like the new line the news stuff new stuff is a golden gift in the cosmos New stuff's amazing. It's so weird when it hits you in the middle of the night, too You just hook wake up in the middle of the night You're like you just like stumble over to a fucking phone, voice memo, fall right back asleep. You gotta do it.

And it's 90% of the time it's shit, but for that 10% you have to just do it. There's been way too many times where I convinced myself that I would remember it and I didn't remember it. I know, there's a sign-phone episode about that where he like tries to write it down and he's like, what the fuck is this? But yeah, it's so, I mean,

it's funny for what a sitcom sign-phone was, it would like tap into a real stand-up Shit every once in a while. Oh, yeah, I mean it started off with him doing a monologue Yeah, remember that that was the early days. Yeah, he was do a monologue at a club every time Yeah, he's great bits in there He's an interesting now hearing him talk about stuff now cuz he's kind of realizing where all this woke shit is gone He doesn't care now. It's kind of beautiful to watch him be like like someone heckles him He's like fuck you and you're like, oh my god. Yeah, Jerry versus heckler. This is entertaining

Well, they're all going after him with the Palestine stuff now, so they're interrupting and he's just funny Really respond, but if you know, he's it was a great clip. Oh my god stop giving Jews money Yeah, but he also like but he also is like, you know, he's talking about something like It's just funny when a clean comic is getting heckled, right? Cuz I'm like, yeah, you were you're probably heckling a bit about like sponges or something Well, it just shows you like at this time in history Nothing is safe. This time in history is so screwy that total complete compliance and adherence to every single letter of the doctrine is

Demanded and even then they'll move they'll move what it is They'll move the boundaries they'll move the the goalposts and then what you were saying a month ago is now problematic And now you have to adhere to a new thing Yeah, and I also just think like it's it's annoying that we have to go that way because like why can't we just all enjoy? Jerry like it I guess that's what I think like why can't we just all enjoy this like I kind of Even if you don't like even if you say something. I don't like I'm like I try to separate the comic From the whatever else you know I could still listen to Cosby That's interesting. Yeah, that one would be tough. I just have to fall asleep sometimes at night

I actually don't really listen to Cosby, but I do think I can I do it with movies all the time like I don't I Don't agree with like what do you Roman Polanski right Woody Allen? But I fucking love movies and I and I think Woody Allen's made some of the best movies ever so he's made incredible movies And he was a great stand-up. I mean, you know, I can separate for the most... Cosby's tough because what's it called? Himself? Yeah, it's tough. Yeah. It's tough to separate, right? Yeah. It also just feels dishonest because it's the cleanest shit ever and it's like rape, you know? And this one lady was saying he might be the most prolific serial raper in history. Yeah. Like who knows how many people he

did it to that don't come out about it. I know You know how many people don't know what happened It's also tough when the person who does this shit is so holier than that and so beloved But also just so much like you know yeah, you need to do things this way It's like those types of it's so that's a bad as tough But like you know those are the type of people that are usually creeps Yeah, it's like male feminists are yes the biggest fucking piece of shit Yeah, cuz they're they're they're putting on an act that they hope you'll respond to if you're a woman You know that's what it is. They're just a man's watch

It's a bait and switch and it's the most manipulative thing and one of the things you get from those guys the creepiest of them They will go after other men they will go after other men. And they go after other men publicly. I remember Jamie Kielstein went after me for a fucking rape joke in like 2013. I had a fucking rape joke that like, I got torn to shreds for by these like fake, you know, feminist things. I still remember the joke.

It was like, I was fucking a black girl. Not a great joke, I was fucking a black girl while we were having sex, she kept dropping the N word. She was like, no. And then I paused and I was like, you guys are worried I was gonna say the N word. Then everyone was like, thank God, rape joke. So that was a joke that somehow that word

is more offensive than me raping a person. So the joke killed, it would always kill. And then I had another one in the same set, this woman saw me, I said, the whole set was rape. And no, I said, my girlfriend never makes me wear the condom because she's on the pill ambient Another fun one right there were two quick silly jokes to me right, but she wrote a hit piece on me Tore me to shreds it was like it went like fucking it got shared cuz I I showed the Colin Quinn

I was a young seller comic the times like 2013 and I showed the column and he goes the most fucked apart is she omitted The punchline from your jokes. Okay, so She is trying to just show that you're a piece of shit. She's not even showing the comedy here. He says, you have to write something. So I wrote something, and then it got shared a ton, like all these websites like Salon,

Jezebel, Tormey to Shreds. I was like, he's a nobody, all this shit. Like just like cutting me down. I was a no, I was, I had nothing going on. And they wanted me to go on like Kumail Bell show at the time to like defend My and I'm like Mike my manager the time was like I don't want your first TV credit to be defending a rape joke And I was like I agree so didn't do shit, but then like here's the fucking best part So I had a trans joke in my in my Netflix special that was like pretty pro trans

I was just like being a contrarian. I was like, everyone's doing these like trans bad. I'm like, I'm going to go the other way. Have fun with it. Went viral. And all these people are like, like, this is how you fucking do it. Blah, blah, blah. One person writes, fuck him. He made bad jokes in 2013.

It's the person who fucking tried to cancel me in 2013. Who is now a man. So she she's now a guy so that's the joke I did in the special I go, but you know that people can change Yeah, yeah, that's what I say. That's why I call my new special you've changed for that, but I'm like yeah What is the so you can be a different person, but I can't grow as a fucking human right? But I can't grow as a fucking human right? It's a hypocrisy forever is absurd it's absurd and also guess what I am a different comic than I was in 2013 not in like a fucking I'm better. I'm a better stand-up. I take if I go there now. I hope it's a better joke Yeah, but like how come there's only room for growth on your side. It's fucking absurd absurd Yeah, well, it's and I accept whatever you fuck you choose to do

It's your body do that, well, it's and I accept whatever you fuck you choose to eat your body Do you have fuck you want with your life? But but the idea that like you get to do whatever you want, but then everyone else is like a target to you is Insane it is insane But it just shows you the disingenuous approach to things and also that the people that are involved in this sort of attacking people They're not enlightened for a lack of a better term not saying that I am but their their level of Compassion is not it's not for everybody. It's only for people that agree with them You're a real aggressive, but only you can progress exactly and it's also only people that only the only people that agree with you 100%

But then let's look into your own life. I guarantee you're a mess I know well these are the people that went after Shane to you have to realize and and the fucked Up where they went after Shane was that uh I? Remember she they went after Shane so hard I remember I think was CNN had a thing they were like people who were canceled this year And it was Weinstein Cosby and Shane Oh my god, and I was like this is like a SAT question which one doesn't fit. Yeah, this is so fucking unfair

so you know uh I Think that shit that ship is sailed I think it's for the most part know, I think that shit has sailed. I think it's for the most part over and I think we're mostly laughing about it now. But now you see it with the Tenacious D guy and now it's predominantly the left that goes after people but now it's kinda, this was the right where they're celebrating the Kyle gas thing. I'm like, hey man, it's either all okay or none of it. It's the South Park guys, either all okay or none's okay. Yeah, the guy said something on stage because he's

signaling to all his liberal followers and he's trying to be cool and he probably had no idea that that was gonna get out to the rest of the world. He thought he was just saying it to his crowd and he didn't understand because he's like 60 years old. You know, you see that guy? He's old as fuck. I don't, I didn't see it. He's like a super old triple vax liberal Yeah, and he you know he said something and it was a stupid thing to say and then they had to cancel their whole fucking tour They get death threats and I'm bummed that Jack Black canceled on him. Well. They all canceled well. That's your friend though I mean that's that bummed me out because I think Jack Black's hilarious, so that we didn't throw his friend under the bus

He said he was blindsided by it and that he doesn't support hate speech. Political hate speech. Yeah, I mean, but what is hate speech? This is my other thing. It's like, either made a joke or you either say it's a joke or it is actual. It's either a joke or it's not a joke. It is the definition of too soon. Yeah.

That's what it is. Sure. It was two days. And the joke bombed. Yeah. Right? It was like, oh, Jesus. Do I think two days and the joke bombed. Yeah, right. I mean it was like oh Jesus I don't like it. I don't think do I think it's a good job No, no, but also like why you calling for it. I don't like the calling for people's heads either. Yeah I don't like it either. I think they're just delaying their tour. He's just gonna take some time. I just wanted a vacation

No, I really think that's what the decision was I think the decision was to stop the tour and then come back. Yeah, maybe yeah, isn't that what they said? Never mind I was about to be like you know what summer is hard to tour but now yeah Is everybody been dropped or just that one guy just says Jack Black hasn't been dropped Yeah, you're a dumb fucking agent if you're dropping that one. Yeah, if you drop Jack Black like yo At first I thought Jack Black said it when I. When I saw the clip I was like oh no. I was watching Tropic Thunder the other day on TV it's still funny. It's amazing. It's

really funny. It's the last free movie. They don't do it anymore dude. You can't do a movie like that. Someday it'll come back around. I asked Robert Downey Jr. on the podcast I said do you think you make Tropic Thunder today? He's like oh you could make it. I saw that, he's awesome. He's great. Yeah. Yeah, that's, you know, Ben Stiller doesn't get enough credit for kind of just going for it with that shit.

That was- In that movie, he just went for it. So did Tom Cruise. Remember when Tom Cruise played that fat agent with the fucking- It was awesome. I was like, I saw that. I want to see you do more comedy.

Yes. I know you want to do your own stunts and you're like, fuck, you have a death wish and it's badass and stuff, but like, I want to see you do more comedy Yes enough I know like I know you want to do your own stunts and you're like a fuck You have a death wish and it's badass and stuff, but like I want to see Tom Cruise in a comedy Yeah, well listen. I know Tommy Tom Cruise is a loon But Tom Cruise because the fact is a loon can kind of do anything Mm-hmm I mean he can get like he played the vampire Lestat an interview with a vampire and all of Anne Rice's fans Were protesting like why people did not want Tom Cruise to play Lestat

But he's great. He's great. But if you didn't know Tom Cruise at the time was Top Gun He was like fucking blockbuster boy, and then all he's gonna play this homosexual vampire who's like this We're acting yeah, but it's it was too beloved to them to the people like have you ever read interview with a vampire? No, I have a fucking but he's more gay than he is a pool shark and he played a pool shark in the color of money So who gives a shit? Yeah, the pool shark wasn't Believable, but he did but he did learn how to do it though. That was more offensive to me He learned kinda kinda if I watched him play I'd blood come on, but you're good at pool Yeah, that's the difference

I saw but if you watch someone play guitar and you don't know how to play guitar I don't know what's going on right but if you're a really good guitar player and you say oh he's not even hitting the right keys when that sounds coming out this is bullshit that's not how you play guitar. It's like seeing comedy in a movie. Punchline. It's usually rough. Punchline with Sally Fields and Tom Hanks. It's rough. You ever see that? Yeah it's fucking awful. What the lockers? They have lockers. They have lockers. Yeah. They have lockers.

I love Tom Hanks, but yeah, it's not fucking, yeah, it's not a, comedy doesn't, the only time I saw it kind of work was when Sandler did it in the Judd Apatow movie. Because Sandler does stand up though. Right, he's a real comedy. Yeah. Yeah, you could do a movie with comedy in it,

like Louis did with Louis. You know, you'd have- Louis is such a good show. It's a great show. I sent him an email like a year ago. it, like Louis did with Louis. Louis is such a good show. I sent him an email like a year ago, it was like 2 a.m., I just wrote him an email being like, man, I miss shows like this, and I miss the representation in New York, and I love how like,

you make New York like disgusting and ugly, but also like kind of beautiful and a mess, and like against you at all times. Like there's a scene in that show where he misses, you know what I'm talking about with the flight? He misses the flight and the woman's just typing in. He's like, what happened to the flight? She just keeps typing.

She goes, it was canceled. He's like, why? And she goes, it crashed. And he goes, oh my God, is anyone okay? And she's like, keeps typing. She goes, everyone's dead except one baby like that type of joke is so absurd and silly but it got me so good cuz like we'll get so angry when we miss a connect flight and then everyone's dead is such a good like that was his mind

and and he wrote like a long thing back just being like that was like a really cool time in my life and and like how, you know, we put into it. That show I think is like brilliant. You know, he edited that show on his MacBook? And the music. Yeah, and he edited that show on the 12 inch MacBook, the little tiny one. And I go, why are you doing it on that?

He goes, I like doing it on this little thing. Yeah, that show is, I rewatched it recently and I was like amazed at how well it holds up. Like it's- It's a great show. It's a great show and I remember when he did Lucky Louie I like that too. Lucky Louie was okay but I talked to him at the improv one night we're hanging out and I was like what would you do different you know because it was like it had all fallen apart yeah because I would I would fire all the writers because I didn't want to fire them he goes I just I would have fired

everybody. Well he also was trying to do like a Jackie Gleason like sitcom me type thing and his strength is being himself, right? So that's I still enjoyed it. But yeah, Louie's like on another level. Yeah. Well Louie was him with freedom, you know It's like if you take a guy like that and you just just let him he's gonna do the best he can He's gonna do the best he can always. Yeah, just gotta let him do that and get out of the way You're not going to give him good ideas You're not gonna help. I know you're gonna tag once for a joke and it killed him in immediately and I was like That's a good comic right there. Oh, he's great. He's good at comedy. Yeah, I did King Kong joke Yeah, he gave me a great tag once well King Kong's wife giving him shit and I

Did joke what I said? It's a joke that I did in the joke in the movie The Joker I say I did a million jokes for that movie and that there's the one they use but I said you know men and women look at sex definitely men look at it like women look at sex like like buying a car you're like can I see myself in this long term is it safe is it reliable could it kill me and I said men look at sex like parking a a car. We're like, there's a spot There's another spot. Oh, I have to pay never mind and Louie goes you should add Handicapped hope no one sees this I

Had a handicap line, but his hope no one sees this hit harder and I was like there we go It just worked. Hope no one sees this is so much more fucked up. It's funny Oh, yeah, I had a handicap line, but it worked But this one then killed and I was like he's good and I never I don't really normally take tags But when it's Louie or kind of like let me try it and then it was too good to not tell too good Yeah, yeah, you gotta take it. Yeah But it's like so fun when you have a joke and people think it's over and then there's you know There's one more line, especially if you're doing like, you know, a

Tough crowd and they're like and then they're like, all right, they have to like give it up a little bit. I was good Yeah, yeah Yeah It's always great when you find those two when you've got the beginning of a joke It's kind of doing okay in the early days of the joke You just started trotting it out You're fucking with it and working and you need like God or something there and then you find the next thing and boom you open up a new door You have a whole new door that is attached to the premise that has a bunch of new angles you can take

Yeah, it's fucking it's a it's a great thing. It's like you have a toy that you find it You're like, oh, I didn't know it did that. Yeah, it's so cool Louie said he's gonna take a year off and so he's basically taken I think a year and a half I think he took it. Yeah, I think he took a night. Yeah. I mean, I saw him. It's almost a year, right? Yeah, I saw him at the cellar and he was trying some new stuff and it was funny.

Recently? Yeah, he's always funny. Okay, so he's back. Yeah, he saw, I hate when, in a comic like that's in the back of the room and I'm fucking around just trying to find, I'm like, god damn it. And I get off and I go, hey, Louis, what's up, man? God damn it, I was fucking around.

Yeah, I love that when people are doing that, though. I know you're funny. I'm not gonna, like, if I see someone have a weird set where they're working on new shit, I never think, ugh, Sam sucked now. You know, like, you would be an idiot for thinking that. Yeah, I guess we're always in our head a little bit, you know, like. Always.

At part of it, once you think you're not, once you think you're awesome once you think you're awesome You're fucking done I have said once where I switched the order of things on the spot for some strange reason I decided to try it this way and it worked great But I realized as I was into the set that I missed a giant part of one of the bits because I switched it around And it didn't fit anymore, and I couldn't add it anywhere else. And so I was in my head. But I was still killing.

Yeah. When I was in my head and then after it was over I'm like I gotta listen to this, this must be fucked up. But no, the recording was great. Yeah. I was listening to them like this was all like a self-inflicted mind fuck because I knew that there was more to the bit but they didn't know there was more to the bit they just Thought you knew that one more exactly and that it's annoying though when you even there was more meat on the bone

I hate that feel I mean dude. I first it happens a lot when you do like well Let me try it sometimes you try to flex you know Let me open with an abortion joke and see if I can dig out of this hole And it misses and you're like oh fuck now they hate me, But I do it all the time like I I have a new Hitler chunk I was doing at your club last night and I'm like, let me open on this and they're like now you can't open on the Hitler Joke, you gotta earn it give me give him four minutes Yeah, you got to get them to trust the way you think about things So I love late-night sets still even though they're like so good

I mean, but I like not even that many comics do anymore when you watch an old one and you're like Oh a guy had you had to open on this joke for a reason like there's this comic in New York Nick Griffin who's like he was like the master of the Letterman sets I thought his Letterman's did like 11 Letterman's they're all flawless you know and every opening joke was perfect he had a joke where he goes they say to live every day like it's your last so I've been crying a lot lately that's a great fucking joker you know he goes I hate there You know, he goes, I hate, there's another one he opened with.

I always look at the opener, because I'm fascinated by it, he goes, I hate these celebrities, Lady Gaga, you know. Oh, the press is bothering me. Oh, cool, Visa's bothering me. That's like, all right, you're self-deprecating out of the gate. It's a quick joke, I like the quick laugh.

Yeah, yeah. Visa's bothering me, wanna trade? It's like a great joke. I like the quick laugh. Yeah, yeah. Visa's bothering me. Wanna trade? It's like a great line. Yeah. The construction of a great joke. And starting off with a great joke, so important for opening acts.

I always tell that for guys on the road, like if they've never done like a big theater before and they're coming with me, I'm like this, go out there, say hi to them, don't rush. Don't rush into your first joke Yeah, but when you commit that first jokes got to be a banger Yeah, because they don't know you and it might not get the laughs you think it deserves because the audience isn't warmed up yet But you got to accept that but you got to start out with a banger

Well, you know if they're not laughing hard at least like okay Okay, like they might not be laughing but they might have a smile on their face Yeah, you know and then literally warming them up Yes, you're warming them up and that's why I appreciate comics who warm up crowds with jokes and not just like bullshit Oh, yeah, I have a respect for people that whatever way you warm them up However, you get them cool, but like I toured Gary Veeder and it's just killer deadpan one-liners They're all just like deadpan and I'm like this is he's low energy So they have to listen and for me that sets the table where, you know,

every joke is fucking killer. Dude, I have to piss or I'm gonna break. Let's take a little break. We'll be right back. Yeah, Ron moved out here in like 2017 or 18. Yeah. And I call, I mean, he was always at the store too because he had a condo in Beverly Hills,

or excuse me, he had a house in Beverly Hills wasn't a condo as a mansion and He just said I'm fucking moving to Texas he goes. I love it here. I travel It's in the middle of country easy to take a flight anywhere people are nicer No traffic foods fucking great and that kind of put the seeds in my head that was like the first seeds in my head I was like did you not like LA no no There's too many people. I think you get around too many people. It's not good for your head I think too many people like that people become

they become a problem rather than a Resource you know there's too many they get in way. They're in the way of things. Too clogged up. And I think it creates anxiety. When you're stuck in traffic all the time, I think that's bad for you. I wanted to just, also I didn't trust it.

I felt like it could fall apart at any moment. It was always like, I was always waiting for the next earthquake or the next fire. I was evacuated three times from my house from fires. Yeah, last one, two houses in front of my house burnt to the ground right in front of my house Yeah, yeah, the wildfires were crazy. Yeah, it's fucking scary right fucking scary when you see him coming you know I came home from the comedy store, and it was like one o'clock in the morning and me and my wife were looking out the window at the fire coming over the hill and

Me and my wife were looking out the window at the fire coming over the hill and We made an early call. We said look if we're wrong we come back The house is still here, but let's just get the fuck out of here now. I'm like that's too close They weren't evacuating yet I'm like let's get out of here And so we got all of our shit and we got a hotel in Beverly Hills and then next thing you know it swept through our neighborhood That's fucking horrible. It burnt 40, I think 40 houses in my neighborhood. Jesus Christ. Dude, that's crazy.

That's awful. Which in my neighborhood and then the neighborhood. That's like, what is it, like July or what? I don't remember when it happened. I wanna say, I don't know. I mean, LA's dry. It's dry, all it takes is a good wind and fires. But it happened three times.

Three separate times we had to get evacuated. It was weird, man. And when you see it, when you see the walls of flame that are from the left to the right, everywhere you could see is flames, you see houses going up, it's spooky, man. It's spooky like a horror movie. And then you realize, like, I talked to a fireman once.

This is one of the reasons it freaked me out. One of the times, I'm wearing a LA fire department show. Shout out. Fire department shirt. It's a badass job. Fucking tough people, man. Those fucking people, they don't get nearly the credit that they deserve. So I was talking to this guy and he was telling me,

he goes, dude, one day, he goes, it's just gonna be the right wind and fire's gonna start in the right place and it's gonna burn through LA all the way to the ocean and it's not a fucking thing we can do about it. I go, really? He goes, yeah, we just get lucky. He goes, we get lucky with the wind. He goes, but if the wind hits the wrong way, it's just going to burn straight through LA

and there's not going to be a thing we can do about it. Because these fires are so big, dude. When they're talking about like thousands of acres that are burning simultaneously with like 40 mile an hour winds. And the winds just blowing embers through the air and those embers are landing on roofs and those houses are going up and they're landing on bushes and those bushes are going up and everything's dry. And once it happens, it happens in a way where it's so spread out

that there's nothing they can do. There's nothing they can do. Yeah, you just have to evacuate, right? Nothing. Nothing they can do. Just got to get out of there's nothing they can do there's nothing you just have to evacuate nothing nothing They just got to get out of there Fucking weird dude one of the worst I ever bombed ever in my career And I wasn't that good at the time either so it was easy to make me bomb but I was I had done one of those NACA one of those college things was a bad and I got I did well at the thing

and I got a bunch of gigs. And so I was really funny at the NACA show, I killed. And so I got this gig and I was headlining and JB Smooth was opening. And it was this weird gig in New Jersey and it was in the middle of nowhere and this is back way before navigation. So you would get a piece of paper that would say,

take the 405 to the this take A ride here go down to the you know so you have to really follow the directions It was complicated And I remember I left real early And I still it took a long time to get there and I finally found the place and I was there But JB smooth was not there and the show was supposed to start in like 20 minutes And so I said what do you guys want to do? And they said well, we'll just wait for him.

Don't worry about it. Everyone's just sitting in the hall, like waiting for the show to start. It's fine. So they go, okay, great. So I sat down and I started watching TV and there's a show on about the Malibu fires. And it is the most fucking depressing thing I've ever seen in my life. This guy who was a fireman, his act, I think his house was actually saved the guy that was crying but he was just weeping because his whole life he

had invested and saved money to make this house and built this house and his house survived but like his neighbor's house is fucked his other it's so random which houses get burnt which house is dead and then there was this kid who was calling for his dog so his kids walk into the street like rusty where are you rusty? The dog's dead as fuck you know like everything's dead it's like you're looking at the most insane wasteland of burnt homes and people weeping and crying and people died in their cars it was horrible horrible shit and then they come in the room they still look JB is not going to be here in time

So we're just gonna have you go up first and then if he gets here. He'll go on after you. I'm like okay Yeah, and I went on stage like sad From the Malibu fire, and I was not funny at all I could muster. Yeah funny. I couldn't I Remember this girl was dating the time she was there with me. She was what the fuck was that? I was like I watched the Malibu fire thing. I was fucking sad now. She's dry, too Yeah, and then JB went up after me and murdered Murdered he's funny. He came in loose and like he was like I got lost And he was just killing someone's you just gotta not watch the news

Never watched it, but that's what that that's the thing about this cable news, like I watch it, I'm just like, why would I watch this? I feel fucking horrible. You feel horrible and it's not helping you. And I mean, you really, like you gotta be real careful about any input that gets in your mind before you go on stage. You shouldn't have an argument with your girlfriend, you shouldn't call your friend that owes you money,

you shouldn't talk to your parents. You know, you have to be careful about what input. That's why I like the green room at the club. You go in there, the music's playing, comics are in there. Everybody's hanging, it's a good vibe, it feels good. And then you go on stage with a smile on your face. Wee! Yeah, that's what it's supposed to be about.

Dude, we've all done those benefits where they're like, this is a benefit for, you know, I did a benefit, Reese, I didn't fucking think. I usually look what it's for, so I know it's a good cause, but I was like in a rush, and I just showed up to a benefit, you know, like, oh, I'll fucking, I'll kill, it'll be fine. Like within 30 seconds, I open on a joke,

drinking on muscle relaxers, like silence, and I'm like, okay, something's wrong here, whatever. I keep powering through, bombing my dick off, the crowd's looking at me like, who is this guy? This guy sucks. And I get off, and the guy running is like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And I go, what do you mean?

He goes, it's a benefit for a guy who died from drinking on Muscle Relaxers. And I was like. So I chose the wrong material, and. How about let me know that before I go on stage? They sent something, I didn't read, it was my fault entirely. It was completely my fault.

But I, I, yeah, I was like, Oh shit, but I've done those games where they're like... Sometimes you do a benefit where you know what it's for and you buy, where they're like, you know, it's a, you know, a thing for a cancer benefit or like a Holocaust thing and they show Holocaust footage and you're like, Hey, not a great warm-up act. Yeah. Listen, I'll just give you money.

Yeah. You want a check? I'll send you a check. I'm not performing, but if it's walking distance I'll pretty much always do it just for the fun. We'll just It's like I say it's easy to just walk in and do a set it's like I've done some that were good I've done some benefits that were fun And they were good, but I've also done some that maybe go I'm never doing one of these again Yeah, it's just not worth doing I think comedy should only be in a comedy club. Like when I hear about people doing corporate gigs, I'm like, what are you doing and why are you doing that?

I know, but it's not, are you gonna notice, like, do you notice if you, like, if you have, let's say you have $10,000 in your bank account, do you notice if you have $10,500? You don't. Well, who's getting paid 500 for one of those things? I'm just saying, so if you have, my problem was, if you have 10 million in the bank,

like some people I know that do these fucking things, and you get tortured for $10,000. Like Tony just did one, he got tortured for $10,000. He goes, it was the worst thing I've ever done in my life. I go, why'd you do it? He goes, offer me $10,000. And it was right down the street, so I just did. I go, you're not gonna notice that $10,000,

but you're gonna feel that bomb You're gonna feel you might get a funny story, too I always think like I mean, that's why I do morning TV things. I'm like, it's gonna be bad, but it's gonna be funny bad Okay, you brought that up because that morning Joe one was amazing. Oh my god, that was hilarious Cuz you know what? The funny part is like I wasn't even misbehaving on that one they just hated me and it was even funnier like He he set me up in a way where he was like, he clearly hasn't watched my shit, which is fine.

I know he hasn't, but clearly a producer's a fan of mine. So they're like giving him lines from my special to cue me up. So he cued me up for a gun baby joke. And I was like, I'll tell the joke. And I told it and he just looked at me like, yeah. And I'm like, yeah, dude, well, what do you want?

Well, I sent you that stuff on him. That's the guy that was gaslighting us. This is the best Biden ever. And if you don't believe me, F you. Well, you know the thing about a lot of those guys are, is like, as I said, it's poison, these cable shows. But instead of being like, sometimes you'll follow a comic and they're like a hack, but they know they're a hack.

And they're like, I'm sorry, I just have to go out and do that. Oh, yeah, right But he like goes on the acts like the all these guys they go on they act like they're like doing the Lord's work They're Edward R. Murrow or something and I'm like, oh you're gonna do this and think you're like There's like this type of like liberal elitism where it's like though. There's two types of like older liberals There's like the type that like is like an old hippie and is like, oh man That was cool. You did that shit and then there's types that look at you like Well, he wasn't a liberal. No used to be a Republican. Yeah, and then he got on MSNBC Yeah, you gotta go with the money. I just panties. Yeah, but it was uh

That was a weird segment, but I actually I get off on that a little bit I kind of like when I know it's gonna be bad. think it's funny because I'm just like what's live what do they get I can just do whatever I want yeah it's funny to me when it goes horribly those are state-run propaganda shows that's all they are they're bullshit news distribution and I'll happily go back I and I do enjoy it like I think I enjoyed it there's something I enjoyed watching him react and it was a great joke That's a good bit. It's very good bit Yeah, and watching him not respond to that very good bit. I'm like you can't even admit that that's a good bit That's what bums me out a little bit is like they kind of like just fucking smile. Come on

I know you're not admitting that I'm not saying school shootings are okay, I'm just saying this joke works. Right, it's just a joke. Sometimes you can just smile at the fun of the joke, but like, I guess I think of those crowds, and you think of those crowds, you're like, not only do you think I'm shit, you think you're better than me, and I feel it, and that's a bummer.

Well, that position of being that guy in the suit with the fucking makeup on in front of the camera Speaking the truth that's an intoxicating power position. I guess I don't know well I mean, I don't know but it must feel alright. It's an intoxicating power position for those people You know they want to be that guy that is the the center of the new show Yeah All the people are waiting for them to talk and there's all the cameramen and they're all pointed at Him makes them super important as people behind the scenes with clipboards. They're all looking at him

Yeah, those idiots like that. It's funny because the producers were like quoting my bits. They knew who I was and yeah They're regular people. Yeah, and they're not they're really cool. And they I'm sure that's who gave him that thing they were like talk about guns and babies. I was like you got it and I mean fuck God, but even now sharp thing kind of chuckled at least I'm like I got something out of him even you know come on. Give me something Al Sharpton's an old-school grifter Yeah, come on. I mean that guy's entire career started on a false rape accusation. Yeah, yeah get out there and do the real thing, buddy You see what he looks like now he's lost like a bottle of his weight is like he's like super super thin oh there I am wow I look well what the fuck is wrong with me

let's hear it oh no it's earlier in this is the end you got to go watch party It's way earlier. I'll show you I'll show up turn because you said something about him No, no go to the beginning the beginning where he sets up the gun jokes the funny one Hey, they give me a nice plug though. There's something Financial election and Sam joins us now Sam I just got I got to start with this quote because it's most relevant it is it is on i go to the past the election here yeah this is whatever this is just me making a biden joke whatever trump biden joke then yeah the next right there maybe parallel of guns and babies together but you do it masterfully explain well both are easy

to hate but then you hold one and you're like i kind of get it you know we laughed at that yeah yeah both annoying on airplanes Like it could be a problem, you know and both will be in a school soon. Yeah, yeah exactly Yeah, exactly that's one that you can't like what do you do? What do you even say to that? Yeah, but you know he laughed a little bit. It was a little that I thought yeah Give me a hint. It wasn't that bad, but Al Sharpton was laughing. Yeah, cuz I told him I was like I bet you're a Samaral fan just like playfully and he was like I bet I could be yeah and then I was like I was like, you know, I brought up the thing about like

and Frank no when Justin Bieber went to Anne Frank's house and in the signing book wrote I think she would have been a believer. I'm like, that's how I feel about you and me I said that I said that to him. No did Justin Bieber really do that? Yeah. Yeah, you got a lot of shit for that years ago Whoa. Yeah, but come on we were entertainers. We fucking get it. How old was he? He was a baby. He was young Yeah, yeah, the fuck is he supposed to do? Yeah, he just figured things out. He was being shocking He was in a shocking phase, you know, I think it was like I meant I think he meant it in like good Spirits, I don't think he was like trying to be like fuck her. I think he was like trying to have fun with it

You know, yeah, but but I said that the elf Al Sharpton he was like, yeah, he like went with it I was like, all right. Well, the thing is those places are not places for humor There's no no room for humor because they think they're saving the world It's like saving the world. But the world stays and then you just annoyed everybody, your entire career, and you didn't save anything ever. You never changed anybody's opinion. You didn't.

You just bullshitted people. That's why I'm shocked they want me on these shows because I'm just like, I'll happily go in, but I'm just shocked in there. I'm there just laughing in the green room like this is gonna be bad. I know it's gonna be bad. They need anything. But yeah, I went on the Ari Melba one once and he just like would set me up for jokes and then look at me

like, so why is that funny? And I'd be like, are you fucking kidding me? Because it's a joke. I don't know. Clearly it's not funny. I don't know, you know, but you're just rolling with it. There's a big thing difference between being funny on a talk show in front of a person who's not ready to be laughing and then an audience That's why I play the producers usually I'm trying to get them laughing Yeah, because then if you hear laughs in the background, yeah, yeah, but if I'm just bombing for one, dude, yeah, it's fucking weird Yeah, you want to play the camera guys. Yeah, the normal people camera guys in the grips I love doing that shit though

I and all my friends are like you're a psycho for going on morning shows. Cause like, yeah, Stavros and Norman are like, I'm not waking up at 7 a.m. to do this. I'm like, I will happily. You still do it? Of course. If you will have me. The last one that had me was in Salt Lake City, Utah. And they were like, they knew I do this.

So they were, the guy came in the green room was like, fucking with me. I'm in the green room with my friend, Gary Vitor. I made him come with me. Cause I'm like, I can't do this. It's like a bank robbery. I need an Uber waiting for me. Cause I need to get right out. But the guy was fucking with me in the green room with my friend Gary Veeder. I made him come with me, cause I'm like, I can't do this one. It's like a bank robbery. I need an Uber waiting for me. Cause I need to get right out.

But the guy was fucking with me in the green room. Like the anchor was like a handsome Mormon guy being like, oh, you're going to fuck with me? And I looked at Gary like, this guy's got like an edge. I was like, I was like, yeah, I guess. I don't know. And he's like, yeah, let's see if you fuck with him. He was like kind of being a dick.

And I was like, all right. So then in my head, I'm like, I'm going to fuck with him. So I went on there and it was like the week the Diddy shit broke and I was like man How about that P Diddy and he and he was just like well, we're not gonna talk about that And I was like, well anyway P Diddy I just kept doing it and he got pissed and his anchor The woman was cool as fuck. She was laughing, but he just kept being like well, you're well, you'll never be invited back and No, yeah And I was like I had to pretend I was upset that I

was never gonna be back on Good Morning Salt Lake I was like oh no and then and then but then of course after the segment I'm leaving and I'm trying to get out of there with Gary but all the crew is like stopping me and they're like grabbing me they're like trying to take selfies because they're like we all hate him that's hilarious but yeah we ever see Segura when he's to do DJ Dadmau5? I love it, yeah. I love it. I love, it's fun.

It's like, you know what? It's such a fake type of TV that it's fun for us to go on and just be ourselves. And it's, I love that shit. I love, I still have a weird fondness for like, the comfort of that and then fucking with it. I don't know why, but I'll throw, sometimes I'll be like at home

I'll throw on good morning America in the bed I'm like this kind of funny how like I don't know they're like cooking something. It's peaceful. I don't know It's weird to watch some of those shows like I watch the view every now and then just because I don't know never seen one episode I've never seen it. Yeah. Yeah, you got to go for a walk after you see them Yeah, I said I used to know Whoopi Goldberg from the movie Eddie where she's the Knicks coach. That's how I choose to think of her Yeah, that shows never seen there's a bunch of those shows We're just like who are these people and how do they think this way?

Yeah, but you need to know that those people exist and that there's a bubble and those people exist in a bubble and they all Think they're right and they clap and there's no one disagrees with them. Yeah well it's good to well that's I would happily go in the view man I would love to go I've heard it but I think I'd make a nice little impression I love the clip of Norm on the view that's the clip I've seen. Yeah Norm was great Norm was talking about Hillary Clinton killing people. It was pretty funny I just like disrupting like I think the disrupting is really funny. It's very funny yeah Norm was the best at that. He was yeah

Yeah, I wish I knew him I only met him twice and he was so nice the two times I met him But he was I met him on last comic standing where I got eliminated immediately I I had a pretty good set but then I had a feeling they weren't gonna move I watched two comics in front of me fucking bomb and move on by the way but I yeah, I remember Keenan Ivory Wayans was like bomb and move on by the way but I yeah I remember Keenan Ivory Wayans was like yeah you were funny on some jokes and not funny on others and I just like sarcastically responded well I loved all your scary movie films and and it got a

big pop and he goes I only did the first two I'm like it was a joke I don't know I'm fucking trying to survive here and then afterwards Norm saw me on the way to the bathroom and was like I like to eat shit on him that was funny yeah and that was like my one interaction with him. And then another time I met him at Caroline's where we were doing March Madness style, do you know what that was? Where it was like one on one,

you had to do like 60 seconds versus 60 seconds and I was in the finals. I think I lost to Dan Soder in the championship, which was like, I was happy to, I love Dan, so I was kind of like, it's kind of fun even being in the finals with Dan. But Norm was hanging with us and he's like, he said something, he's like, man, I hate this shit. It's like they take you out back and fuck you in the finals with Dan. But Norm was hanging with us and he's like, he said something, he's like, man, I hate this shit.

It's like they take you out back and fuck you in the ass and we were just like, yeah. We didn't know what he was talking about. We're like, is Norm, just fucking go with whatever he says. He's a fucking legend, you know? I randomly sat next to him twice on airplanes. Wow. Yeah. Well, you guys were buddies, right?

Yeah, well, we knew each other. We knew each other from the clubs, but just randomly, we happened to be in the same city, the same town same town on the same plane and he sat next to me twice That's a bird. Yeah, it was amazing And so like for three hours me and norm just talking shit and having fun and one time one of my favorite stories was he Was on he's like yeah quit cigarettes and quit smoking say fucking cigarettes are terrible. They're terrible for you They kill you and so we're talking about things And we get off the plane and he immediately runs into one of the the shops and grabs a pack of cigarettes And he's lighting it before he gets out the door out the door

He's like I go. I thought you quit cigarettes. I did but we were talking about it. I wanted one You know, it's good not myself so funny. Oh, he was an animal legend Yeah, real legend and even the way he went out you know didn't even tell anybody just went to Canada I would ever do that anymore like no one no one everybody makes a big deal out of it They post on social media these tearful videos I'm in stage four and you know thank you for all your hopes and wishes and prayers and yeah, and Norm was like I'm just gonna ride off in the sunset Yeah, you're so fucking fun

And you know you see so many videos of him online now like anytime anything comes up There's always a norm joke and you kind of forget that he's dead. You know, it's so funny It's weird that it's like giving him It's not good life kind of a weird way because I think given him a weird way because I think it's really unfortunate some of these guys who are brilliant, they don't get their due until, obviously he was huge and he was a weekend update guy, did so much great stuff and movies and all that stuff. But not what he deserved. Not what he deserved.

I felt the same way about Greg Giraldo and about Patrice. I think a lot of those guys didn't get the love they deserved until afterwards. I feel like if Patrice survived, he would be the number one podcaster in the world That's what I feel like I feel like the only reason why I'm number one is because Patrice isn't alive because he was smart but also hilarious, but also Did not give a fuck like did not give any fucks and would tell people to their face the most ridiculous shit that happened to be true,

and you know, and he was the master at it. He was so good at it, like on Opie and Anthony, he was the best at calling people out on their bullshit, and then having points. Him and his best was fucking, but he did fuck around a lot I think, like I hear stories of the seller all the time, they're like, God god. We wish he would like try because he would just not try sometimes. He just didn't give a shit Well, it was also that's a lot of the ways those guys would come up with material

You know a point like that was Damon Wayans thing I used to what Damon Wayans in my opinion's I still say this to this day the most underrated of all the greats I think Damon Wayans is one of the all-time greats. But he kinda stopped doing it in the height of his, have you ever seen this HBO special, the last stand? He's like murdering to the point of, yeah. He was so good, dude. But I used to see him at the store all the time, and he would go on stage for an hour and a half

with no material. Wow. And he would murder. He films every set. He has a tape recorder in the back of the room, like a camera that's filming every set, and he archives them all. So he has like every set that he's ever done since like the 1990s.

And I saw him just a few years back, I wanna say five, six years ago, at the improv, same thing. He was starting to do stand-up again, had the camera out on stage, fucking around, and that's how he would take a bit and then put words to it and pump it up and change it, but he would come up with the initial premise out of nothing.

Like there was no, he was silence. Just talking. People who write on stage like that, it's to me kind of insane. It's insane. It's insane. He... I mean, I wonder if his film career made him kind of... It must have made him put a stand-up on hold a bit. Film and TV. Remember he had a TV series? Yeah.

When you have a TV series for those guys, especially that were in the 90s, that was the golden carrot. That was the thing. You get a sitcom and that's what everybody wanted. So even if you don't really necessarily think that's the best thing for you, like you know you can make money doing stand up and traveling and doing the road, those guys get tired, they don't wanna do the road anymore

and then the sitcom job is so easy, you just show up and you're getting 100 grand a week. Yeah. 100 grand a week. To just fucking say words Yeah, it's not that hard and his movies like he's a good actor. Yeah, he was funny at that. I mean Yeah, I remember I did like the Letterman show on Netflix and he was like baffled by the by the fact that I put out a Free special he was like what he's like I don't understand like because he came up in the air in the 80s was like I'm looking for a sitcom

That was my whole thing. So I was like, oh no you like we make money touring now. That's like, I don't understand like because he came up in the air in the 80s We was like, oh, I'm looking for a sitcom. That was my whole thing. So I was like, oh no You like we make money touring now. That's like how we do it. Yeah, and so he was like, huh He was like so intrigued by it. Yeah well I remember when I was on a sitcom and I heard someone was doing the improv in Irvine and they did the whole week and they Made 25 grand. I was like what? Yeah, what? 25 grand doing us because I was not at that level I wasn't selling any place out So I was never making that kind of money for a weekend

But I was like that's what I make on a sitcom like it's the same money But they're doing like stand-up, and I'm kind of their own boss in this little velvet prison You know where I'm eating craft service, and I've got my own dressing room, but it's a little weird, it's not what I want. It's a fun thing to do. It's a great gig. And that gig was the perfect version of one of those gigs. And you were good at it. Super talented people, thank you.

Funny, funny fucking human beings, great crew, everybody was great. The cast and your show was so good. Amazing, super, super fucking talented. Phil Hardman's one of the funniest dudes of all time, I think. Brilliant, Dave Foley, brilliant. Oh man, I love him. Andy Dick, hilarious.

Maura Tierney, I mean, She's awesome. Scandi Alexander, Vicki Lewis, it's like, they were all amazing. Steven Root, insane actor. So good. That dude's career is so cool. He's so good.

Yeah, he's like, he's in everything, I feel. Everything I turn something on, I'm like, oh dude, this dude's got more range than like anybody. And he was the only guy on the show that was playing a character. Yeah. Like he was playing Jimmy James. Like Andy dick was basically a steroided up Andy dick It was like Andy dick on steroids, you know, I was kind of me

Yeah, I was like conspiracy theorists and you know all that stupid shit, but I love when they write that shit in yeah Well, that show was really good at that They were also really good at letting people improvise like Dave Foley was like a secret producer of that show because he would rewrite entire scenes. Wow. Like we would get the script and then we would do our, we would do a run through, right? So the way sitcom works is you get a script,

you do a table read and then after you get the table read, Tom Seronis who is the director and the cast, we would all go, okay, let's put it on its legs. And so we would start the scene and then, you know, Dave would a lot of times go, why is Andy coming in this way? Why don't we have Andy like hiding under his desk and Andy, because we're not supposed to be talking about

him or he is not supposed to know what we're talking about. And then he pops up and like, oh, that's a great idea. And then like, instead of that, how about he says this? And like Dave, you know, because he'd come from kids in the hall Where they created all these insane sketches there? Yeah kids the hall super underrated show super under it. They're all so fucking good amazing Yeah, and so Dave was so good at I saw him on Fargo. He's great in it. He's great in everything He's an awesome actor. He's a UFO nut is a total believer Which is hilarious because when we were friends like he was always like why do you care about all

This stuff like why do you care like when we were on the sitcom together? Cuz I was always in the UFOs and all kinds of stupid shit and it was like what do you what the fuck are you interested? in this was all nonsense and then something happened I forget what it was and then eventually he saw one and He had like a UFO experience. He's a full on believer now. Which is fun, it's fun for me. I'm like, ooh, now you like them. This is exciting. Yeah, life's long, man.

Yeah, people change. Yeah, I've changed. It's cool, man. It's cool you had that experience. You've had like a lot of lives in comedy. I mean, you do the sitcom and then have your you know your game show and then You're you know, you're doing stand-up and you the podcast and it's like wow You can have a lot of lives in this shit

The thing is I got super lucky for sure in a lot of these things But also everything I do is something I actually like doing yeah Which is which makes it real easy makes it real easy to show up for something like today Like I wasn't thinking I gotta talk to Sam. It was like we're gonna have fun. Yeah, let's go have fun It's not as pumped. Yeah, it's it's uh, it's all good It's all a good thing So if you could find a job that you actually enjoy doing you'll probably excel at it and work hard to do it Yeah, work hard and do your best and next thing you know, it's working

But it's like all those things, you know, especially like working for the UFC and doing stand-up and podcasting It's all things. That's another thing. I like doing you you really UFC is like your number one sport by far, right? It's the only thing I really know. Yeah and boxing I know boxing not as much as UFC, but it's the only thing I really really know yeah like I don't really know Basketball I don't really know football. I kind of understand who's popular. I'm friends with Aaron Rodgers I don't fucking even know the rules. I hope they do well. I'm not a Jets fan I'm a Giants fan, but like I want the Jets to thrive like they just Jets fans deserve it They do and having him blow his fucking Achilles out

It was the most getting of the season Jets shit that has ever happened. The fact that I'm like, cause here's why he was so New York Jets, cause they still won the fucking game somehow. And be like, you know it's gonna be a bad season. Like, no, I was pumped for the Jets when they got him. And I saw him at a Knicks game and I was kinda like, ooh, Aaron, like it's cool, he's in the building.

Because- He's a great guy. Have you ever met him? No, I never met him, but I was kinda just just like wow. He is like I mean, I love football So I love you know, um, I always admired him as a quarterback. I just thought he was great He's a cool guy. Yeah, I hung out with him in Vegas this last trip for the UFC He came to the fights and we all went out to dinner afterwards and he's just a fun guy to hang out with Just genuinely cool. Yeah real real easy down easy, down to earth, friendly to everybody, easy to talk to, cool as shit.

I wonder when he's gonna be 100%. Because we went to, my wife's a big football fan. And we went to see him. Well, she likes a lot of teams, but she was happy for Aaron Rodgers to be on the Jets because she had met Aaron too Aaron to she met Aaron when he was on the podcast too and so We went to see them play the Dallas Cowboys. So my first time ever seen an NFL game. It's fun

It's amazing. Yeah, and in that stadium they have in Dallas. The stadium is fucking insane. I've never been Enormous television screens like there's no bad seat in the house It's fucking great, and we were on the 50 yard line It was fucking awesome, but Aaron wasn't there because he had blown his Achilles out So it's a bomber so I was like I'll go to a game with you. We'll go to the game. We'll see my friend I would love that yeah, I love I Love I mean the only problem with going to games in fucking Jersey It's like such a trick to get there like I go to a Knicks or Rangers game

It's 20 blocks from me. I'm in and out, you know, even a Yankees game Like I love baseball still like I still love like I think baseball still like I know it's had a tough run for the last 20 years or so, but I'm get back on steroids. I would love it. Let those guys do it giant and crush that ball Let's go. What cool is that shit? What kind of nonsense is this, keeping baseball players from doing steroids? That was two of the biggest problems in baseball, was one, not letting Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame.

He's the best fucking hitter in what, 50 years? So he likes to gamble. He also gambled on stealing bases. What's the next commercial? Fan duel, draft kings, and win bet? You fucking hypocrites. Yes, yes, it's crazy. I get it, you shouldn't gamble on your- it's fucked up, but also like, let it go.

You have to separate- we've talked about this before- yeah- separate the fucking game from that. Yeah. Bonds needs to be- Bonds is the best hitter ever. Bonds is the best fucking baseball player I've ever seen. Personally, I mean like- He was on the sitcom I was on. Barry Bonds? Hardball, yeah. baseball player I've ever seen personally I mean like he was on the sitcom I was on you know hardball yeah that was the first to short-lived hardball with yeah Bruce Greenwood yeah yeah yeah yeah Greenwood and Mike star yeah he was on it and it was before the steroids he's like normal-sized Barry Bonds his head got fucking he got giant dude it's weird when you do so many steroids your

head gets everything got big his neck got big his shoulders got big probably gained a hundred pounds he was fucking huge it was cool though Mark McGuire same It's weird when you do so many steroids your head gets everything got big his neck got big his shoulders got big probably gained 100 pounds. He was fucking huge. It was cool though and Mark McGuire same thing. Those guys got giant Sammy Sosa How fucking gross was it watching? Congress spend like 15 days on baseball the same year as Hurricane Katrina Just cuz you want to shake hands with Rafael Palmeiro you fucking fanboys Yeah, also like who cares if they do steroids like why is Congress involved in this woman? It was international conflict. It was the crazy cuz they love baseball. That's the thing

I just read this Joe DiMaggio book and every fucking every Politician is obsessed with Joe DiMaggio. Of course, I mean he's an American icon, but like they love baseball on another level I feel like it's such a historically American game like I am kind of obsessed with that era of baseball because it's like it was like This is I was reading a Lou Gehrig book and it was like oh shit This was like an immigrants game, but it was like white immigrants. That's how fucking American this shit was It was like they were like you're letting the Irish. Yeah, it is Barry Bonds and Bruce Greenwood. Oh, yeah, he's good. I like him Man, look at him. He's a different dude. Yeah, that was normal size athlete Barry Bonds.

But you know, it was such a cool, I mean, the stories of Babe Ruth are like the coolest shit I've ever heard, like you can't, like he was the dude. He was like, I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna eat like shit, I'm gonna gamble, I'm gonna fuck a million women, and I'm gonna be the best player in the game. But not just the best player in the game, the best player the game has ever seen at this point,

like by a mile, he's hitting 60 homers a year, batting like 370, and he's just living like a fucking animal. And he's like, but then he had like this sweet side where like Lou Gehrig's like this kind of, you know, God bless him, was like this square. He was like really kind of like, he was like a mama's boy. He didn't go out and party. He was like very shy and babes like,

ah, he's like the, he's like one of the best players ever. I want to like get to know him. He'd like eat at Lou Gehrig's mom's place. He's going through a divorce. He's fucking everyone. He's like, I'll take a home cook meal. Like it's kind of, and whenever he'd have a great interview, he'd like give him his props.

He'd be like, is anyone touching my record? No, except maybe this guy. Like he put him over. He was like not just the best player and a fucking animal, but he was like class. It's so- and it was like I love that historical American shit like you know, but- Look at him. Oh dude, he's so cool. Look at like that dude. Look at him, and he was fucking fast. Look at his face. That is a drinker's face, boy.

Oh, he put him back. Holy shit. Oh baseball in this era is kind of cool and then like you got like the Demagio like Demagio never was cool with mantle which is fucked up cuz like he just looked at him as a waste He was like you're a drinker You never reach your talent was mean to him to really death till his death like was not cool to him Wow Because he was so Demagio so pure but we're talking about the fucking Kennedy's earlier

Blames RFK for killing his fucking Marilyn probably did probably probably any any any blames You know the Sinatra for introducing her to the Kennedy's like all that fucking Italian shit was like fucking traitor Yeah, he loved Marilyn apparently like left flowers on her grave to like the day she died, but he left her He left her because she couldn't procreate What Italians needed air really yeah, she couldn't procreate yeah, oh shit something wrong. Yeah Oh, I didn't know that so he so he left her, but he's like I mean He's like one of the most badass humans ever

I mean just like it's crazy these dudes lost their career because they had to serve in the war like isn't that Just fucking insane Ted Williams decorated fighter pilot because in his prime Ted Williams has to go and he's like killing dudes in the war Because he's like one of the best in the Air Force and meanwhile DiMaggio is doing like he's doing like exhibition games But he still lost his prime because like we're at war and that's what you did back then But like Ted Williams had like 2010 vision, so he's fucking a beast. Not just the best hitter ever, Ted Williams is also fucking murdering dudes. Wow, that's crazy.

Well that makes sense why Ted Williams is so angry all the time too. You know, because those stories were always, they leave that out. He was always angry. Me, well he fucking had to go to war. Everyone, JD Salinger. Mm, that's right.

They're all fucking damaged from the war That's right. Oh that whole generation. We're like they're the greatest generation. They're pretty fucked up Yeah, I mean think about how many of our former presidents. Yeah served, you know Kennedy what you did Yeah, yeah, but George W or H HW. Yeah, he got shot down. Now the other one was Yeah, he got shot down. The other one was Isn't it funny that we look at him now is like like I wish our president was like that Meanwhile back then he was like this embarrassment. I always said that once you start painting Shits gone off the rails. Well when it's over and you start painting You're just trying to get away the horrible memories of all the people that died unnecessarily because your decisions

I mean if you're George W and you're sitting around your ranch in Texas and no one's around, you're sitting there sipping sweet tea, thinking about a million dead Iraqis for some bullshit weapons of mass destruction that didn't even exist. Yeah. Woo. You didn't need to do that. No, he would be the saddest guy to do mushrooms with If you had a pig all the presidents do mushrooms with you You'd be the saddest cuz he would just start crying cuz he's got to be sensitive He makes all those great painting not great paintings makes all those paintings. Yeah, you know, he's got to be sensitive He's an artist. You know, he's trying to he's not he's an artist loosely. We're using that term

He's not there shooting pigs out of a helicopter. He's he's you know doing like sensitive shit, so you know he's thinking So he's probably thinking like what did I do? What did I let that fucking dick Cheney monster? What's not for you into? Yeah, two terms two terms two terms and now we look back and go that was a sensible president You know what I even look at those clips of Obama and Mitt Romney debating, you're like, man, that was like 12 years ago and it was so civil. Not just civil, like super friendly, they weren't shitting on each other at all,

they're cordial, they were just trying to debate the merits of their approach to the world. McCain was the same way, when you watch, it wasn't that long ago. I remember that clip where that woman was like, he's a Muslim and McCain's like, no's you know he's like trying to like yeah like that's dead that moment is over it doesn't have to be I wish I think it'll come back at some point I think there's a level there's there's a limit to this

shit and it's gonna have to swing back to civility at some point yeah I think so too I hope so I hope people realize the damage it's doing to us and that's not helping anybody but the problem is social media the the damage it's doing to us and that it's not helping anybody. But the problem is social media. The problem is it's like social media and people's ability to constantly berate other people and constantly engage in these squabbles online and try to get people and post bad things. Soundbites. Yeah.

Dumping on someone's killing. I remember when I forgot her name, but you'll know who she is. There's a Hewlett-Packard woman who was running for president. You know who I'm talking about, right? She was running in, it was 2016 for the Republican primary and at the debate, she basically said that Trump called her ugly. And it was like this big,

we need a president who doesn't speak like this. Cara Carlton? Carly Furina, that's who it was. And I thought there was this big moment where I'm like, yeah, you shouldn't talk toly Furina, that's who it was. And I thought there was like this big moment where I'm like, yeah, you shouldn't talk to women like that. That's pretty fucked up. And then Trump immediately like got everyone, but I was like, once he destroyed Jeb Bush,

it was like, yeah, the sound bites are working. So why are you gonna stop doing this? Well, that's also his entire career was you're fired. Yeah. His entire show business career was you're fired. Like he was like the heart, get out of here. You're a loser Yeah, fat you're ugly You're a crook. It's very New York. It's like kind of like a trashy New York guy where you're like you fucking nobody

Like that's how you know well It's pop politics is basically show business, and he was a professional showbiz guy Yeah, so he was way better at show business. Because politics is basically a popularity contest. That was the first guy that was an actual popular person that entered into the popularity contest and actually knew how to manipulate the media. And by saying ridiculous shit all the time, whether or not it was on purpose or not,

that's what got all these news organizations to start following him, and that just made him more popular. They thought they were exposing him. Like, look what he said about the Mexicans. But nobody cared. Like this guy's wild. This is so much better than what we're used to. It's uh, the problem is other people were just not used to TV, right? So they're just sticking to a script and when he goes off script he was more comfortable. Yeah. And he saw how it was like a fucking boxing match. They were just like what the fuck's he doing also? He's like a comic like when

Who was it that asked him the question? Man who was it Megan Kelly Was it Megan Kelly that asked him the question yeah it was At the debates you said horrible things about women you've called them fat, you called them pigs, it was only Rosie O'Donnell. The punchline. Got a big pop. It crushes. Yeah. It crushes.

And you see her just like, oh my god. Like, what did I set him up? I lobbed one his way and he just knocked it into the parking lot. Yeah, fastball over the fucking, over the plate. He just crushed it. That's his, his thing is so different. Oh women, you don't like fat pigs, dogs, slums, and disgusting animals. Your Twitter account is several...

Only Rosie O'Donnell. No it wasn't. He's smiling, he was proud of that one. They're all clapping and cheering. Your Twitter account... Come on, you gotta hold... Well what do you expect her to do here? Thank you.

For the record, it was well worth it. Hold the lap. It was well worth it. your twitter account come on you gotta hold well what do you expect her to do here? thank you for the record yes i'm sure it was your twitter account is worth watching i mean jesus christ

yes i'm sure it was yes i'm sure it was is amazing well the guy is a character in a movie yeah it doesn't seem real i hope it's not a Stephen King movie But you know remember the Stephen King movie about the guy like he shakes hands with the guy that's dead. Yeah, yeah Yeah, Martin Martin Sheen. Yeah, that's a great movie Chris Walken. Yes great. Yeah that ending that fucking move Yeah, yeah, he's made some good fucking shit. Oh my god get him back on coke

Get him back on coke give him Bud back on Coke. Give him Budweiser. And a wide range of shit. It's like you're telling me this guy did that, Shawshank and misery? Yeah. Stand by me. Stand by me is great. I just watched the other day with my family. Me too. It was amazing.

That last line fucked me. It always fucks me up when he's like, none of us had friends like when we were 12. I'm like, fuck you Richard Dreyfuss. Yeah. This is the thing he holds his hand and he realizes. Yeah. they did a great SNL parody of this yeah he's gonna be this guy's gonna be Hitler he's gonna be the one who kills us all yeah pressing the button yeah that's a that's a good movie

man that was scary as fuck well that's what they're always trying to scare us about with Trump that he's gonna do that and start World War three and kill us all but the problem is this administration looks like they're on the verge of starting us into World War III and when Trump was in office that didn't happen. And here's the thing that they need to address. Everybody keeps saying he's gonna be a dictator, he's gonna do that. That would be more sellable if we didn't have four years of him actually being the president and doing none of those things. Right. I mean the thing is you,'s everything, right?

Like, you look back, like, people said the same thing about, like, everyone hated Eisenhower, but then you look back and you're like, these weren't bad times, you know? Yeah. So, with Trump, with any, look, we all want to avoid World War III. That's, I think I would hope. At all costs. Part of me is, like, maybe Trump is such a fucking narcissist that he doesn't want the world to end Yeah, cuz he wants to do well while he's in charge. Yeah. Yeah, that's good

Maybe I don't know whatever motivation whatever fuck it takes you to keep us from killing each other. He does terrify me I don't fucking feel like safe with him as a president. Do you feel safe with Biden as a no, of course not The country's in shambles. Things are fucking bad. I Don't feel safe with anybody as president. But I just I don't buy their narrative when you find out that like they lied about Russiagate for fucking six years and like all that shit. That was the beginning of the end. That was like when you're when you're when that's your whole thing like the Steele dossier is your whole thing. Yeah, that was really the undoing of a lot of cable news. I think.

They thought they could get away with it because they have gotten away with it before, which makes you think, how many of the stories, other than the ones we know about, like the weapons of mass destruction and all the, how many of the stories were bullshit? How many of the stories that ruined the lives of countless millions of people?

How many of those stories were bullshit? You can't go all in on a bad hand and they did it again and again. And again and again and again and You got to make sure you have a fucking royal flush But dude, they did it with me with the kovat thing with the acting thing They did it with you with a lot of things they did but but the kovat one was crazy because they were all coordinated Calling it horse dewormer. It's like every news organization was calling it horse dewormer and trying to mock me like hey guys

I can talk to like are you fucking stupid? But their whole game up until social media and up until podcasts was they were the only ones talking. So they could set a narrative and no one could do anything about it. They could decide that you're a this or you're a that and then they push that out there and that was the end of it. Then you got labeled as this or that.

But with podcasts, podcasts got bigger than them and they hadn't realized it yet. By a lot I mean that's the thing is you know I saw your thing with Sanjay Gupta and and he seemed apologetic you know but sorta. Sorta. Till he left. Really? Yeah he left and went and talked to Don Lemon and Don Lemon was still saying the same but it is used for horses it is a dewormer for horses. So we weren't telling the truth. I saw him drunk on the street the other day. Ah! Friendliest guy.

I mean, he goes, I just saw Mark Norman at the Beacon. And I was like, man. He was talking to you? Yeah, he said, what's up, man, on the street? Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, and he goes, I just saw Mark Norman at the Beacon. It was a great show. I was like, well.

I'm sure he's probably OK. Yeah, he just seemed like a nice guy. He was stuck in a bad situation, a bad position that corrupts everyone. It's bad for everybody. Everyone on that network was terrible. We need- They were all propagandists. It's weird to think about how fortunate the generations were when like news wasn't constant.

You got a break. Right. Colin Quinn's got a great bit now. Like you go to the bathroom and you're like, what did I miss? Right, right, right, right. I mean, but that's fucking bad for the world. Like, I miss, you know, even back in the day, like it was on twice a day, you know, it was over.

You got like Simpson's reruns and you're like, all right, shit's peaceful. If you really wanted to go crazy, you'd read the New York Times and you'd get all the news. If you really want, but who did that? Very few people did that. Yeah, but most people that, you know, weren't terrified of everything,

weren't reading everything that's going on in fucking Sudan and what's going on in Asia, what's going on here and there. Now it's like we're being inundated by all of the bad news because the bad news is the stuff that really gets people captivated. So it's all the bad news of the entire world and none of the good news.

It's like the most distorted version of reality ever. All the bad news. And then you go out and you talk to people and you're like are we that divided? I think that's kind of what I feel like just touring the country. I feel The interactions I have with people are good and solid but we also have to remember those are comedy fans Which are the people that are gonna be the most reasonable the people that's working looking for the humor and things You know not saying there's a trans genocide They're not gonna come to your show the trans genocide people are not gonna come to your show

So it's the people that are there, you know, they're kind of realizing like we need humor humor It's an important part of civilization But I don't even mean just comedy like you interact with people at like restaurants or like whoever like whoever you see on the street Like I you know, yeah for the most part, I've had two fights on the road, arguments, and it's fucking quick. It's usually over bullshit. Gary Veeder and I are both New Yorkers,

so we can't help but do a confrontation. There was a woman being berated at my fucking, we were at the gate, a morning flight out of Columbus, and a woman was just yelling at a fucking TSA agent who was just doing her job, she had nothing wrong. She was just, but it was a woman with two kids with her and she goes, you're an idiot. Wow, you're so dumb.

And we're just looking at each other like, it's 8 a.m., we're barely awake, but it's pretty like fucked up, right? And we're like, yeah, that's like really mean. And she just kept going, you're so dumb, I hope, I'm gonna get you fired. And then finally we were just like, hey, I used to go, lady, enough.

And Gary goes, you're a nobody. Like that like that's how he's like a New York kid Wow and she turns Where she goes fuck you you're short to Gary and he goes you should see me without my shirt on I was like we had her What are you doing? Why do you see me? Because he works out? Oh, that's hilarious, but I'm like dude We were fuck. We're comics. We could kill this woman What the fuck are you doing should taking the shirt off? Should have got down his underwear, but they probably arrested him for terror But that was like the one but we felt forget we were laughing at me the woman was like thank you But I'm like well I'm like 10 mark when do we ever fight with people on the like it's occasionally we do that shit

But like most people are so cool that you need most people are like good And then like how often do I miss like small towns, like you'll go to like Appleton and like, they don't talk politics. They're like living in like 1994 and they like, it's like rude to talk politics, you know? And you're like, we keep that to yourself. And I'm like, man, I almost missed that point in time

when it was like, you just led with other shit. That wasn't your whole, like, sure, we make fun of people sometimes who are like, these are my pronouns, but isn't it equally kind of annoying with people who lead with their political affiliation just as bad I would say worse or their diet or their exercise routine or yoga or anything like some people They're just always trying to find themselves to you. Yeah, they always wanted to find themselves in a very nice way So you're just one thing. Yeah, that's all you are define themselves in a very nice way. So you're just one thing?

Yeah. That's all you are? So I look at, like, I do kind of miss those types of people who are like, hey, let's bond over something else other than the world ending. Yeah, but you know, when people don't have any legitimate conflict in our life, they manufacture conflict.

And they have to trauma bond with you. God. Yeah, I have PTSD from the last four years when Trump was in office I can't do this again. That's all they got, Ted Williams kill people. By the way I know exactly not to mention like though I'm moving to Canada and I'm like you think Canada just wants all of our fucking whiners? Yeah listen not only that but Canada has like ridiculous free speech laws they have hate speech laws they can come down on you for a lot of things they seized up the bank accounts of people that were protesting the truckers the people that were donating

to the truckers they seized their bank accounts like yeah that's not a good place yeah it's not a good place under this administration at least yeah where do you go they went sideways Canada was amazing place ten years ago you go to Canada ten years ago it was awesome I was always saying that I love Canada It's like 20% less douchebags. What do you what do you like in Canada? I love Montreal Montreal's amazing beautiful I love Toronto. I love Vancouver. I love Canada Vancouver's one of the most beautiful I don't go to Canada anymore, but ever no you won't do a gig there not why that guy's president fuck you Yeah, whatever is prime minister fans use they want to see you, they want to see you still. Fuck you, get rid of that guy I'll come back. I just don't trust any of it up there.

Yeah. I just think they're so far into tyranny right now like the laws that they're passing, the shit that they're doing, the erosion of people's rights like I don't want to support it. I think it's fucking horrible. Yeah but I think a lot of people there just want to laugh. I think people need to laugh. Oh yeah they definitely need to laugh. They're in the middle of a full blown communist takeover. Yeah, it's a scary spot. It's scary.

But it used to be amazing. I used to say that Canada's 20% less douchebags. Like the people are 20% nicer than most people that you meet in America. Yeah, they're polite. But that's why they get roped into all this shit. That's why they get roped into all this shit. That's why they get roped into hate speech laws, because they want to be kind. They want to be good people.

And they don't realize, like, compelled speech has a terrible ending. It always ends in communism, because someone has to compel that speech. Who does? The people with guns. And they tell you what to do. Yeah. And then you have violence that is enforced to get people to follow a doctrine that they may or may not believe in.

Yeah, I think you just gotta, you just gotta be pro-free speech. is enforced to get people to follow a doctrine that they may or may not believe in. Yeah, I think you just gotta, you just gotta be pro-free speech. I mean, for all the awful shit people can say, you still just have to be pro-free speech. That's Elon's take on it, you know? And that's what they're doing with Twitter. Well, the weird thing about Twitter now is like,

for all the shit people will say about Elon, I think like, look at the other social media platforms, everything gets, anything, there's like trigger words. They'll be like, you said the word Nazi. I'm like, yeah, I condemn them in a joke and they're like, well it got buried because you said that. And you're like, cool, well that feels like some Nazi shit. Yeah. I can't, I can't use irony. I can't be sarcastic. That's the, that's the evil of like, I think, when they bury, you are, it's a different type of censorship, but you are you know

You are burying certain trigger words that you think might be offensive enough and hurt ad sales Oh cool now posting a joke on Instagram is similar to putting together a set for the Tonight Show. It's all fucking You know this words not okay. Yes words not okay Twitter's actually the only place left if you think about it, which is really fucking weird, you know? It's really weird because Twitter used to be the worst place for that. Yeah. Twitter was the place where the FBI literally, like the whole Twitter files when Elon took over and they had Matt Taibbi and Michael Schellenberger and all these guys like investigate. The Rolling Stone guy, yeah.

When they went into it and they were like, oh my god, the government was literally trying to stop legitimate and they're like, oh my God, the government was literally trying to stop legitimate professors at Stanford and people at Harvard and MIT from talking about their area of expertise. They were trying to label them as kooks and get them kicked off of Twitter. The whole thing was fucking bananas. And if he didn't buy Twitter.

People used to get their accounts suspended a lot on Twitter, remember that? All the time. But now it's more like Instagram, TikTok's ridiculous, obviously. If we didn't, if he didn't buy Twitter. People used to get their accounts suspended a lot on Twitter. Remember that? Like that was a big thing. But now it's more like Instagram. TikTok's ridiculous obviously. That one is like, good luck. Who the fuck knows? But even YouTube has kind of changed a little bit. I mean YouTube is...

Everyone's changing. YouTube is like, it's kind of shocking. My issue is like, they keep moving the goalpost in, but there's no guidebook. They're not telling any of us what's not okay. They're just kind of making up my issue is like they keep moving the goalpost in but there's no guidebook They're not telling any of us. What's not okay? They're just kind of making up the rules as they go along and they ban people's accounts They don't tell them why it's kind of your account is violated our terms of service And then that's it and then you have no recourse and you spend a lot of time and money building up these platforms And they're like sorry. Yep. Well, it's pretty fucked up because especially now during the election

Excuse me during the election time now. They're really clamping down on that And there's a lot of people getting shadow banned allegedly and then there was a thing that Elon just released or he said that European governments were they were saying that they were gonna they would be willing to give them money to have certain platforms Censor certain political speech. Yeah. And Elon was the only one who said no. And he talked about it publicly. He said these other groups, these other social media platforms, complied.

And like, I'm telling you about this. Yeah. You need to know. It's pretty weird because they just keep moving the goalpost in. I mean, it's bad. I see comics now kind of working toward the algorithm and it is bad for Entertainment and for art and stuff like that and I get annoyed when comics are just like shocking for the sake of being shocking And lazy, but I don't think they should be fucking silenced

Yeah, they shouldn't be silenced But you're always gonna have people that try things that don't work out right especially in an open-ended art form like comedy Well, you're the writer you're the producer you're the writer, you're the producer, you're the editor, and you're delivering it. So you're everything, you're the whole thing. And you're fucking around, and you're trying to come up with ways, and maybe you're desperate, so you try to figure out a way to juke the system,

and try to figure out a way to get your stuff seen and heard. You say things that you might not even mean, but you think it's gonna be good, it'll work, it's a little tool for you, and you're trying. And those guys, you know, he might not even mean but you think it's gonna be good it'll work it's a little tool for you and you're trying and those guys you know they're not our favorite the guys that do like stupid shit like that but that's also like they should exist yeah they exist but maybe they can get better one day like a lot of us sucked in the beginning and better now and over time learn you keep working at it and it's an open-ended thing you eventually Figure it out or not about last night. There's guys that it takes him a minute

Yeah, and it should take you a minute This is like I think a lot of the comics like don't hit their strides when they hit like 40 right yeah Because you actually develop a nuanced take on life. You've had a bunch of bad relationships You had a bunch of bad business deals. He'd been fucked over by clubs. Bad is good for comedy. Yes! Your life, any time when bad happens to me, I'm like, fuck, it's a bit. Here we go.

Isn't that crazy that it's such a beautiful thing that something horrible can go wrong? I remember the first time I did your show, I missed, I took me three flights to get to a gig that I missed, and I'm like, that's like my opener in my new special. It's like this long story, this hell travel day, and I'm like, this sucks, but you get,

we're very fortunate to have this outlet for that, you know? Yeah, and I think just me, if I didn't do it, if I never did comedy again, or if I never had done it, I still would love it. It's one of my favorite things to watch, because it takes you away. It puts you in this place, and it's like a drug like it makes you feel better You know when someone's on stage killing and you're laughing you're like ah you feel better

It's an amazing feeling to laugh at something and to be able to do that for a living We're the luckiest people alive. I was just on Burt's fully loaded thing. It's so fun, dude It was such a good group of people and he like turned into an adult summer camp. He's bringing ice plunges, he brought a personal trainer. We're doing batting practice during the day. One day, Chad Daniels and I were fucking hooping dudes. I'm like, this is fucking fun. You know, me, Bert, Kyle Kanane are surfing. We're hungover.

I'm like, we're gonna puke in the water. But I remember one night, I'm just watching Dave Attell on stage. I was like, oh, this is the best. You just get to like, he's like one dude that brings me back to like, oh yeah, it's so pure funny. It's not like anything, no agenda. It's just pure jokes.

And you're like, oh yeah, he had that joke about like fucking, but me, I'm a Biden man, Hunter Biden. And I'm like, that's like a fucking great bait and switch, you know? Or or the joke about like I got hit by a guy on a city bike the other day was my fault I was on the sidewalk and There's just like pure silly jokes and you just like transported to like being a kid I remember seeing him as a kid at Caroline's and being like, oh, this is what it's all about Like yeah, he's just trying to be silly. He's just and he's the best at it and he's another guy that just doesn't Yeah, he's just trying to be silly. And he's the best at it.

And he's another guy that just doesn't, he's not a promoter, right? So he's not as popular as he really should be based on how good he is. And it's kind of up to us to let everybody know. I always feel obligated to let everybody know. When he was at the club and I went and, I came and watched one of his sets,

I sat for the whole set, which I don't ordinarily do. I came in on a night where I wasn't working just to watch. It was fucking awesome. And after it, I just couldn't wait to do stand-up again. I was like, I can't wait to go on stage. He's so quick. There was one time, you know, I had to go through the audience, the bathroom at the Comedy Cellar, and three dudes came out at the same time all wearing glasses, and he goes, what is that, a nerd portal? To come up with that line off the cuff, I'm like, God, he's fucking good at this. Yeah, he's always fast off the cuff.

Like, he does that thing at the end where he brings comics on stage. Terrifying. Terrifying, because he also- Because he's Obi-Wan. He's Obi-Wan. He's the Jedi, and on top of that, he's loose, because he's been killing for 45 minutes.

Yeah. And then he brings you on stage. You know, so it's kind of unfair. You're cold, you're in the bag, like, hey, Dave, grab a mic. OK, hey, they shit's on you if you don't say anything funny. Yeah. Yeah, he's awesome. He's so good, yeah, he'll fuck with you.

He's great, I love that though. That like when you're like, few comics were like, usually I'm watching it and I'm being like, good joke. I like that, that was cool. But he's like one of the only dudes that I'm like, holy shit, I'm just like giggling, this is so stupid. I feel like a kid. It's also all he cares about and all he does he gets up in the morning He reads the paper he smokes cigarettes He writes jokes and he goes and when he goes to a town he always have new jokes about the town and

You know I learned that from him. He had like the local paper. I was like local What are you doing? Yeah, and then we'd like leave a diner like 4 a.m. And he'd order a large iced coffee to go I'd be like what are you doing? You're out of your fucking mind But uh, you know, yeah, he's just like he's as pure comic it's like we're so lucky to have him and in New York cuz he just like And he's so good to the young comics I see the new here those he'll be like he called me and he was like Oh, I like following this new guy cuz cause he's like, he's got good stuff

and he's bringing the heat. So he's like, you know. He's aware of it. Yeah, no, he's a national treasure, like legitimately. And I tell everybody, if you get a chance, go to his website if he even has one. He has one. He doesn't run it.

I remember we were doing a road gig once and he like, as we're driving I was like, how do you post this picture? He's like, oh I don't do that shit that shit like he has someone doing everything, you know And it's always like hilarious because it's like he just writes the caption and sends a bunch So it'll be him be like amazing weekend in like, you know Hartford and he'll just be like this like angry in the photo it like never matches because he sends it to another person But you know, he's he's still has a flip phone. Yeah, he is too. He is I think Yeah, has an iPhone that he uses, but he only uses the flip phone most of the time when he texts you

It's like do do do do do do do do do do it makes the same he was sitting here Texting someone it was like beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. I go. What are you doing? He sent in Morse code, and he's I was realizing he was texting. I'm like oh my god. You still text like that Yeah, he's cool. Well, he went iPhone for a while, and then he realized like, I'm too in my head with this. I'm gonna go back to it. Yeah, it's the better way. It's better.

You see it with him, the results speak for themselves. Yeah, you're not distracted. I mean, Aziz went to a flip phone, too. Did he? Yeah, he talked about it on stage. He was like, I got my brain back. He goes, yeah, I can't get directions or anything like that, but I got my brain back. He's in Europe, too He's like he's totally is he yeah, what is he doing? I think he I think his wife is in London

I think he just moved there. I haven't seen him forever Wow Yeah, well some of those guys you know they just like they get hit hard once with a big cancellation You're like what no he's he's that's over. Yeah, but I know but I mean that thing changes like your your It just changes your outlook on stuff. Yeah, no, I'm sure I mean that was That was well when it's written on babe done that you know, it's legit Definitely well, that's the only one to pick it nuanced perspective on who he is Yeah, that was a weird one. Let's wrap this up. My brother, thank you very much for being here.

Thank you so much, man. Was that fun tonight? I can't wait, yeah. It's gonna be exciting. Tell everybody, your social media, where to see your shit, your special. New special, Sam Morell, you've changed, I'm Prime Video, I'm all over the road.

Prime's doing a bunch of them now, huh? I think a few. I think they did a Bill Burr one. I think Bill's doing his next one. Hulu, he's going to Hulu. Oh, you're right. A bunch of other people have done Prime too. A few people have done Prime. Yeah, that was by far my best offer and they, you know, once I saw they treated people in the warehouse I was like, I want to be on board.

No, they've been good to me and then I got that. I got, you know, I'm all over. I got like Miami, Baltimore. I'm trying to build a material back up. I'm doing a Euro tour all over Europe, like London, Belfast, all that shit. And I post a lot of shit on PunchUp.live slash Samorail. What is PunchUp.live? My friend Danny Frankel started it. He used to work at Facebook and he hates censorship of comedians. So PunchUp is where I gather emails.

It's like Patreon, but I don't take money money I just want email so I can blast you when I come to your city I don't spam you it's just punch up dot live slash Sam Morrell slash sign up or just whatever and I just I post gigs I post bonus stuff that I won't post elsewhere because I don't want to get like buried on some horse shit right and it's good he cares comedy, he's a great guy. That's cool, I'll check that out. It's awesome. All right, beautiful.

Thank you, man. Thanks, brother, appreciate it. All right, bye everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.