The Joe Rogan Experience - #2186 - Ari Matti

Episode Date: August 9, 2024

Ari Matti Mustonen is an international touring stand-up comic, fight commentator, and native of Estonia.  www.arimatti.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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What did you ask? What was the question you asked Jamie? Well, yeah, Jamie's gonna fucking run a train on me. I felt that there was some controversy. There was some tension. There was a little tension. When we had the lovely dinner after your show, we went at it a little bit and we had a little disagreement about compression technologies, preamps, cloud lifters, you know. What is your position? Well my

position is... Well okay. Hold on. It's coming from a different place though also. Yeah very different. Let's just say financially we're coming from a different very different place but I try to use the Shure SM7B. We actually got for my podcast, 2Cöt, shout out, here we are. It's Estonian, you're not gonna, well AI maybe. What did you just shout out? Tuisisööjöt. It means direct translation is pussy munchers, it's my podcast.

Oh! So is it in Estonian? Wow, do you think Spotify will translate it to English? Maybe you'll be the first that goes the opposite way. Bro, if AI translate this podcast, I'm fucked, you know? Oh. Oh, take it down. See, this is the thing. They're gonna do that. I know.

Spotify's going to do that with... But they don't get my charisma and timing down. No. Also, sense of humor, sarcasm. And when you translate things to English, you sound like a Nazi. I will be a Nazi Satire and and humor and what is for lack of a better term, it's called talking shit Okay, and this is what we do on podcast. This is what we do in the green room This is what me and my friends love to do all the time

Right. We do that all the time. We say things we don't mean because it's funny. We say things are inappropriate because it's funny. And it is 100% done with fun. And the problem is today, people like to take things and pretend you're saying something, but that's not what you're saying. Yeah, there's a funny comedian in Canada. He's an American who moved to Vancouver. He's Dino Archie. He used to say, off the record talk. Right. It's shit talk. We're not saying things that we mean. We're saying things that are fun to say. But what I was going to get to before we did is that the thing that Jamie told me about MSN, well, Tulsi Gabbard was the first person to tell me about it so I was talking about how

great Tulsi Gabbard is about if you know you really wanted a great Democratic candidate that was a woman, woman of color, congresswoman for eight years, served overseas in a medical unit twice that's where she got that gray streak in her hair she's like an exemplary human being. She likes my Kill Tony bits on Instagram. And they tried to say that I was talking about Kamala Harris. So they edited out a context. Dude, I've seen your edited videos with ads because... Yeah, there's a lot of AI ads that aren't really me. Because Estonia is in Eastern Europe and the Russian bot system in that country.

It's crazy, right? Bro, it's crazy. I've seen fake podcasts where there's a guy on your podcast which never has happened. And the guy has a Shure SM7B. Not this mic stand, let's be honest. It's some shittier version. And the backdrop is similar, but you can tell it's not that podcast.

But you can do amazing things now with AI. You know, you could do it with video editing for sure. Like you could just have a guy splice in, him being in this chair, me being in that chair. And if you did it right and you spent your time on it, you could make it very convincing. And that's just the beginning, man. There's a podcast with me and Steve Jobs.

I never met Steve Jobs. There's like, I think it's 40 minutes long. How long is the podcast with me and Steve Jobs? But it's a completely AI-generated podcast. It's just audio. But from what I've heard, it's you can kind of tell, but it's getting close. It's getting to the point where you're not gonna be able to tell. You know, when you hear enough computer-generated sentences, you're gonna catch little glitches in the matrix you know it's gonna sound a little off but you can only catch those

glitches in the matrix because you're a person who's also around technology internet so you kind of kind of see the scam going on it's not a super visible scam it's like oh I see it scam yeah so how long is it 20 minutes okay so it's just me let me hear some of it now they seem to have a soul in a way and some people almost get religious about this stuff because it's so powerful and it means so much is that good if a company gets to the point where it's successfully doing a few things you don't have to try and do everything we're in the process now of trying to cut the things we're doing so that we can concentrate on

the few that are really high on our priority list because if you try to do too many things none of them get done well well that transition is on a few and make sure the transitions are clunky but even more importantly the sound is very different between where the environment that i'm talking in the environment he's talking for sure so either he's not in the room which I don't do I don't do zoom calls mm-hmm those suck yeah or you know that's fake yeah it's only only two options an audio engineer just tweaked it for a yeah two minutes they could make it sounds so much better oh yeah yeah you can do it too yeah you could you could 100% make it sound like yeah you could 100% make it

sound like we're in the same room. But they didn't. But this is also like how many months old? I think that's like- Yeah, that was two years ago. Oh, crazy. So what they have now is way better. It's way better. It's getting to the point where we're not gonna know. For sure. We're not gonna know what things are, what things are real. What you can generate- I'm sure you've seen these, the new Unreal Engine, the most complicated video game engine.

What is it called? Engine five? Is that what it's called? It's like, this is spooky. It's so good. It's spooky. It looks like a damn movie, like a real movie. Like in Estonia, the movie industry is moving really well. And the government was financing for a while the building of like a movie fucking, I don't know, factory or like a whole, you know, like a production studio. Which could bring more revenue to the country, great idea, but some it's been paused now and people are like why isn't the making but I know exactly why it's paused

Because they're waiting to see how this AI thing plays out. Yeah, because let's be honest green screens and shit Mm-hmm. That might be like fax machines. Yeah, it might be like Morse code Yeah, exactly and it happens like this Well, you saw that Tyler Perry shut down the plans to build this enormous studio He's gonna build an eight hundred million dollar production studio and he saw Sora. Tyler Perry. He's the guy who does all those Maeda movies, he's got a bunch of TV series. I thought he's the extreme makeover guy. Move that bus. Remember that guy? Dude that was my shit. No he plays a lady in a bunch of famous movies. Yeah yeah yeah, he's the head of that. Maeda?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, point, Maeda? Madea. Madea, that's right, sorry. Point is, obviously super successful dude, and has this enormous, this is the Unreal 5 engine. He has this enormous production company that he's about to build, and he goes, errr He sees Sora and he's like, what?

You guys can do this now? You gotta see how that plays out. Dude, it's gonna play out real strange. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because what you see already, so this is the video game. This is hard, this looks pretty good. This is not as convincing as some of the other footage that I saw, the nighttime footage.

There's something about daytime footage that looks a little clunky or a little better. That's more reflections. Yeah. I went to Red Band's place and tried the AI for the first time in my life. Oh nuts. He was saying like he has a second life and they are happy with his girlfriend there and they're like living in a whole other world there. Well Red Band's slightly insane. I know but, but the way he was describing to me, I imagine it's like the Neo where I put the thing in and I'm happy now. But it was literally PlayStation 2 graphics.

Whenever I want to nerd out about electronics, it's always Red Band. We always talk about the newest phones or the newest discs or this does that, that does this like he's just a Techno nerd yeah, he loves that shit, and he's already giving up on this life because he knows VR is here Such a red bad move every time I tell you to eat something healthy you know what? AI is taking over. I'm just gonna get my brain teleported exactly. That's the ultimate leap right imagine If they get to a point where they say, we can download your brain into a computer,

but you will cease to exist right here, right now. And you just have to assume that it's whatever consciousness is in your head is your life. And it's not just a faction of that consciousness being in a very particular state and time, that consciousness being attached to this particular biological body in this particular place Like what makes you you and if you take that shit out and stick it in a machine What kind of horrific? existence is that what's screaming into the abyss

unattached from a body but trapped Trapped in a newly created computer dimension because you didn't get to go to heaven because you got trapped in a metal box and maybe that's how the aliens contain souls, maybe that's how they get them. Matrix was basically that whole... That's the thing, get you to think that you can download your soul into a computer like what? I'm going to live forever, going to download my soul into a computer.

And what all you're doing is you're so smart that you're stupid enough to think that technology is capable of recreating you as a whole, not just your consciousness. But what if your fingernails have memories, motherfucker? What if it all is a part of a system and disconnected from that system your soul is just like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh when they got out of the Matrix, they went to Zion. There was that scene where they were fucking, and then there was that scene where they were dancing, and the whole thing, who's the fucking, Morpheus was explaining that, yeah,

you're not feeling the things with your physical body in this Matrix world, you know. You're going through, it's just the synapses are firing in the machine. And I remember, because I was like a teenager when I saw that movie, and I remember that scene when they were fucking, and I was like, oh shit See, that's the thing if you download your brain into a system and then they came back the world was shitty

Remember how shitty? Yeah Zion looked like Terrible no beach like us in 50 years and then they were eating remember that food everything the body needs Yeah, but I remember when they did that dancing scene. I remember that like Like inspiring a thought where I'm like, huh, maybe even if there is a secondary fucking AI world that comes Yeah, yeah, they'll be rebellion. See that's what I'm so no no question whatsoever That's why I love when people go, is AI gonna destroy stand-up comedy? I always love to say that stand-up, luckily, is the art form that can comment on its own demise, kinda. You know?

Like, even if AI creates the perfect act, the perfect ha ha ha laughs per minute, there's gonna be, you're gonna be able to comment on how fucked that is, you know? Yeah. 100%. And then on top of that, what we're really doing is we're performing for live audiences. So how's AI gonna do that? Yeah, absolutely. There's a thing that happens

when you see a singer on stage, when someone's got an incredible voice and you see them sing and that voice just echoes, or someone like Gary Clark Jr. is playing guitar, where you're in the room while they're hitting those keys you're like God damn and then there's the store it's not even only the technique and the incredible voice it's also it's a human experience history of his experience yeah I remember when I was like when I was like 19 I worked at a jazz bar

didn't know shit about you I don't know shit about music I don't know how to play do you know how to play literally I don't know how to play. Do you know how to play anything? No, I don't know how to play anything. Literally, I don't know how to draw or play. And like my hands just don't work like that. I tried guitar. It just doesn't happen. Dudes are just, and they're like, feel that.

Nothing, this connection, nothing's happening. Interesting. But I remember working at that bar. There was like, there's a famous Estonian guy who was performing like an unplugged, he was like a rock star, and he was performing an unplugged version on the weekends, you know, and technically he sounded amazing. He was an amazing guitar player, but he was a young guy, maybe only five years older than me, technically perfect from the traditional training, the school. He had all the things. And for me that sounds amazing, right?

But then I remember we started having, because it was turning, we had blues nights on Tuesdays, and the owner would fly out from America, like New Orleans, these 65 year old black dudes that live a rough life. You can see from their face, from the way they move, it's been a rough life. And the way they would sing, maybe technically it wouldn't be sound as clean, but what you would feel, because I was bartending and I would look at the audiences and I would see them also, you feel it right you can't explain Dude, I don't know of course later when I got to befriend some musicians that they would explain They would be like no no no that guy the other guy was doing the basic ABC

Dedede is doing a whole different shit right now, right? So it's something that only the people that really know how to play recognize like stand up right, but I feel it I think that's the case with play recognize. Like stand up. Right. But I feel it. I think that's the case with everything, man. I really do. I think that's the case with everything. Everything. Yeah.

Especially art. I think everything that it's a true form of expression. Even like chess. I think games people play. I think it exists in everything. Because I remember, I even remember when there was, remember peer to peer before Torrents? It was peer to peer. What did you guys have?

Kazaa, iMesh? What did we have? What was that one? We had them all. Kazaa, iMesh, Linewire. What was the one that everybody used? We started off with Napster and then we went into Kazaa, Linewire and Morpheus. I remember the Napster days.

Metalic a suit Napster, you know? Oh yeah, yeah Lars Alwerck was very upset. Yeah. And so was, I had Paul Stanley from Kiss on the podcast. Wow. He's just flat out saying those people are stealing, they're stealing money. You know, my position, it was very, I was like, okay,

a bomb just went off and you could either recognize you have a hole in the ship or you can go full steam ahead with the original plan and this motherfucker is going to sink. It's like that cartoon when Tom and Jerry when he's trying to dissipate sinking. The moment music becomes a digital piece of information that can be uploaded to a hard drive, the moment that happens, it's over. So if you don't realize that the war has been lost and devise some sort of monetization of streaming platform, make it simpler, quicker, faster than

anybody else's, and then get it up there quick because like that's they should have done that the moment Napster came out. They should have hired like the best coders and said, okay, there is no way you're stopping this. Like we did the dam broke, waters coming through and record sales are gone. Build boats, the dam. Record sales just went away. So quickly. Guys were making millions and millions of dollars from record sales and then they'd go on tour and but even live touring was on a downslope because you didn't need to do that that much record sales was the bag right that's why Madonna went back on tour I mean yeah I don't know this but that's why I also wanted to say what's

up for sure let bitches know for sure still around for sure you know but there's a lot of bands that went back on tour for that Very reason uh-huh. Yeah for sure definitely yeah, they're their revenue dried up Which is crazy that one of the biggest entertainment businesses in the world Lost all of its sales revenue from recordings. I mean, I don't know it didn't lose all of it I'm sure some people still buy some of them but like the drop-off must have been car racing crazy because it was remember it was all like it was like you guys had not cassettes What did you guys have a truck?

We had a tracks a dress and then we had cassettes and then we had compact discs. Yeah, we only got cassettes Then it was CDs so the format was always changing and then it was the Blu-ray and the Microsoft whatever format they had, battle, so there's always that battle of data, then for a while like USBs were tried you know, they would sell small USBs, but then just the internet was like physical, it was over. Isn't that crazy? And not only that, it's way better. Like imagine if YouTube was just a bunch of discs that you had to get. That's stupid that would be! But that's a good example of how much things have changed, is the fact that YouTube exists. And that YouTube is not a stack of discs that you have to go to a library or a bookstore to get. Yeah. YouTube just exists instantaneously. But then again, there was that magic of, I feel lucky at least to have that childhood

where I remember that my attention was actually not raped by technology that much, but I had to actually look forward to consuming something and work physical exertion to get it go to the DVD thing you would read the back you look at it it would put it's it's there's a more maybe commitment to consumption I think it's going to be very interesting when we look back on human beings and I think we're in the middle of it right now so we probably don't really objectively understand how much of an impact it's had on us. Because it's sort of trickled in slowly

with just regular cell phones. And then, remember those sidekicks? People had the sidekicks that you could send texts on. It would go sideways. Remember, we were like, wow, that's crazy. That was next level. And then BlackBerrys, if you were fucking serious, if you're really getting some shit done,

answering some emails, you got a blackberry. And then when the iPhone came out, the whole game just fucking flipped on its head and now all of a sudden everyone's connected to everyone everywhere and everyone's anxious and freaking out. And I think that we grew up before that and I'm older than you by far so I grew up way before. How old are you now? 32.

Yeah, so I'm almost 57. And you're also like those very important years. That's the big transition years because it was a series of factors that happened in my lifetime. Number one answering machines like what the fuck you can call someone and leave a message and you would come home and your answer machine light would be like a little dog like if the red light was going on like oh oh, somebody loves me. And you go listen to your messages.

And then it got to a point where you could call your own phone and get your answering machine to play you your messages. That was next level shit. Okay. Crazy technology. We couldn't believe it. You got to see caller ID, who's calling you. And then you get to call them back star six nine

What's up, you know and then VHS tapes come along? Maybe maybe not even and then it was kind of along the same soup because it all happened while I was in high school So while I was in high school, there's probably answering machines before I was in high school But I was aware of them in high school then caller ID and then VHS tapes all that happened So now all of a sudden you could just get stuff and play it anytime you wanted to so it changed like watching movies you get positive you had to take a leak the whole thing changed people started watching movies at home blockbuster became a giant thing nobody would have imagined blockbusters gonna go bye-bye nobody it was the thing you go

to blockbuster on friday night you see what's the fucking latest movies. Oh great, there's one left. Yeah, we had like Video Planet. It was like the top five most making money fucking companies in the country. Imagine, they were on an ice cube. They were on an ice cube and a hot piece of tea. That's what I'm always wondering is

what is the industry right now that doesn't even know? I think there's a lot of them. Oh, a lot. I think there's, I don't think it's a, I think AI is gonna fuck up this system that we have going for us. I think that's why, that's part of the reason why there's a lot of scrambling

and clamoring for power right now. Because I think people have a real understanding at the highest level that it's only, we only have so much more time before this AI thing becomes one of the most enormous aspects of society and the the power consumption that's gonna need is Astronomical it's crazy literally building nuclear power plants for these fucking things and they're going full throttle And we're

headed towards whatever this is and no one knows and I think that's one of the reasons why governments are trying to crack down on social media and trying to control it and stop people from saying things and in the UK they're arresting people for saying certain things on they're trying to like stop this thing from overwhelming them and you can't. It's gonna overwhelm all of us. It's not just gonna overwhelm government. It's gonna overwhelm civilization and it's gonna happen in a bunch of stages just like it happened with us. Well we got caller ID, we got

answering machines, we got VHS tapes, then we got computers, then we got online, and then we got 14-4, then we got 56k and then you start seeing pictures show up like they download them nice and slow and then people go cable oh my god you get cable internet so people had cable internet we could just like... Remember how many pixels porn used to have like how many how low? It was blurry as fuck. I remember I had a point when I was like like mom goes to store and you know how you ask which store so you know how much time

you got in the right and I remember like jacking off and half way through a video it's two dudes I just didn't the pixels it was just such shitty quality that's uncomfortable it was just very well do you know when they were both sucking each other's dicks to something yeah when there was a girl yeah when is she coming in but it was like in a sauna in the dark and I saw the dudes like hog hanging but he had a nice butt and it all looked you ever flashed in the sauna by a dude flat we only go naked you know that right? Oh, in your country? Of course, and if you have pants on that's creepy and that's weird. If you come in with pants, we would have an issue.

Really? Because it's weird, what are you hiding? What's the thing? My dick. You have a boner? Exactly. What's going on? Dude's just staring at my dick, I'd rather just go in my underwear.

We all stare at each other's dicks. I've seen... Good luck with that. Like in the green room, comedians were talking about how many dicks they've seen in their lifetime, and I remember they were saying like numbers. Bro I've seen thousand, ten, I've seen sixteen to twenty two thousand dicks. Do you think that's healthy? Yeah.

Yeah it's normal you know. Normal shit. Normal shit. Just look at the dicks. And then sometimes I remember in high school we all showered together. There was always one weird kid that would not shower with us and you make fun of him show me out You know, what are you what's going on? Why didn't you show us your dick? You know, ha that's fun

And then sometimes the shower shower would be a bit warm and you would get a little bit of a vein going there You know, you get a little good at 25% did whoo And then you're lathering it down. Yeah. Oh yeah, trying to just fucking mentally just make it go away. Yeah, naked dudes in saunas is an odd thing. I only feel comfortable when it's naked. There was a, I used to be a member of 24 Hour Fitness in Woodland Hills, California, and the guy who was the manager there was a cool guy,

I used to talk to him all the time, my friend Eddie, and I used to live there, and he was the former manager of the West Hollywood one So he said though he goes bro the West Hollywood 24-hour fitness He goes it was basically like a gay hookup spot. That's all it was like these guys would just go ham Just get after each other. Oh, yeah, and like you'd have to say hey don't do that. But it's like you've got guys who want to fuck guys hanging out all working out together and getting sweaty. Yeah. With like guy mentality. Yeah. You know like come on let's do it here. Like yeah and they're doing it there and then there's all guys that are gay there so they're like what are you

gonna do? And he was like dude it was crazy. crazy. He goes, I used to have to stop people from fucking in the sauna. The smell in the showers. I'm sure they don't do that anymore, folks. I'm sure that's all been cleaned up. But back then, he was telling me it was bananas. I can imagine, there are 24 fitness still existing, and then this podcast coming out,

and there's just 800 gay dudes wearing fuck. They're like, Joe Rogan, can you stop saying this is the suck and fuck spot? Make sure it's the right gym. I don't want to slander anyone. There is a 24 hour fitness, right? Because I know there's another one, there's another gym like that.

I used to actually work out at a gym that was in a gay neighborhood. I used to have a bit about it. I used to work out at Gold's Gym on Cole. And it was in full on West Hollywood, like super gay gym. But it was really close to the studio where we filmed News Radio. So I just got a membership there. So I'd get off work and I'd go lift.

I'd just go lift with these like hungry gay dudes. These dudes were hungry, man. They like look at you and... They're friendly. Nobody fucked with me. Nobody like no unwanted attention or anything like that but I didn't take a lot of showers there. I remember there was an old guy at the gym. It was right in the middle of Santa Monica Boulevard. It's closed now. Oh good, good, good. It's closed. Okay. So Gold's is the Gold's on Kohl is the one I'm talking about

Yeah, that's the one that's not West Hollywood. It's like East Hollywood. Yeah Whatever it was it was gay Yes, but like men, you know like big hairy Muscular gay dudes looking for more of that. Mm-hmm. So it's like men fucking men Yeah, it's like a wounded gazelle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A pack of hyenas, excuse me, pardon me, just wanna get to the river.

I remember there was an older guy in my gym and that was the first time I also experienced where it's like, it's an old guy, you know? I get fucking, I'm not threatened. Right. I'm not threatened, I'm not threatened but the look he had in his eyes just made me feel vulnerable for you know it's because you wanted to penetrate you because men have a certain and I

remember then I started thinking it's when I was like younger and that was the first time I started thinking on oh shit that's how women feel. Plus the physical. Oh yeah! Like, that's like Brock Lesnar looking at you like... That's like a... you know... Dude, I have had gay guys hit on me that I could kill. And it made me uncomfortable. That guy... Like, it just gets to this like,

Hey, you know I'm not gay, so what are you doing? Exactly. You're just trying to make me uncomfortable. Exactly. And you get nervous. And this old guy would give me looks and I would just feel and it was the first time in my life I'm just like dude. I'm Jack. I'm doing fucking MMA, but I'm feeling Vulnerable and then one point in the shower This was like, you know when showers have the booths, you know the separation booths and it was me and him so him. So I go in the sauna. The gym is empty. I go in the sauna, I'm alone, and

Dix, it's Dignation, you know, it's Estonia. So I'm in the sauna. I hear the shower door open, and in my head, I know. You know, in your head you're like, there's other people at this gym, but let me me bet because I saw him looking at me I go let me bet and you know it he comes in he sees one towel up you know so there's somebody in the sauna right he comes to the sauna I wait for him to go to the showers first because I know if I go the next booth over this guy's joining so he goes into the corner I picked the opposite corner and then at one point I'm sharing and I just it's that human thing it's that human thing where you feel something is watch or something tension

and I look through the fuck in all the other separation boots they had a small gap that you can see through all of them. And he's got shampoo and he's going knuckles. Other end, I just see his one eye like this and his dick in his hand. He's not jacking off. He's just holding onto it. But something's going on. He's getting ready. He's warming up.

He's showing you that he's got a dick. But then, and he had this look. Serious. Yeah. Angry. And I'm leaving the gym, and I'm passing. And I know the administrator girls working at the gym. I pass them, and in my head, I'm thinking,

I just got sexually assaulted, actually. No, that's not assault. Don't be a baby. Yeah, exactly. No, he made you feel creepy. Made me feel creepy. Yeah. So I feel, I can't keep this in. I turn around, I go to the administrator, I go,

hey, and we're laughing about it. I go, this fucking old guy. And then we wait. And he takes like 40 to 50 minutes to come out of that shower. See, what I think is he's shameful. Oh yeah. And he comes out, his face is red, he has a hoodie on, and he's just ran out yeah and he comes out his face is red he has a hoodie on and he's just ran out of the gym never came back I think it just that's that post nut yeah you know well he probably is embarrassed that he did it exactly again mm-hmm you know it's probably one of those things he's probably been kicked out of gyms before like he's like

got an exit strategy yeah that's what's what he does. He's a shower jerker. Yeah. Those exist. That's why I don't like walking around naked. Okay. Like if you were a woman and you have your beautiful vagina and their co-edged showers, would you be really be comfortable washing your butthole and your vagina in front of a bunch of men? No, of course not. We are. Gay guys are real, and if your little booty hole and your little dick is out flopping around in front of them, to me, as a person who doesn't want any of that, I would imagine that I would not enjoy

watching someone stare at my Johnson who wants him. Who wants him taking piece of sock on... You know what I'm saying? Okay, we don't need to think about that. But I think we have just... Men think that way. That's why you can't have men in a room with naked girls. We did that.

In our culture, when I was a little kid, I saw grown pussy all the time in Sauna. This is why your country's so fucked up. Because you guys, you barely survived Viking wars, and then what's left over, you know, you're just a bunch of fucking maniacal crazy people showing each other's pussies and dicks to each other. I feel like some things should be sacred.

That's what I'm saying. Like I have no problem with being around gay guys, but I don't think I should be showing them my cock. I don't think that's the right move. I also don't think ladies, as comfortable as you are naked, should be in a room full of men and just show your bare pussy. That seems problematic. It seems like it's going to cause issues for you. Like I wouldn't do that if I was you. You know, if you want to wear a bikini, great, everything's covered. Which is like, how funny is that? The bikini thing is hilarious. You know, that there's this little tiny little piece of cloth, little tiny little piece.

You know, on Instagram they have that little... Little Dorito. And you see... It's... All I don't see is the actual episode, but... By the way, I like it. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it please don't stop wearing them I think they're great I'd like g-strings I like girls with beautiful bodies expressing themselves wearing whatever they want

to wear I'm just saying it's so different than shorts like if a dude wears Speedos he's a freak right a dude in Speedos unless you're in your fucking country exactly but a dude in America and Speedos is a weirdo some dude in Speedos like as a weirdo if you didn't come from a long-ass swim you fucking weirdo why you weren't Speedos everybody wears shorts but ladies that's for Christ that's a story every every step that, every man I've ever seen growing up, I've seen their dick. That's inflammation in its human form. That is true.

That is an inflamed body. That's an inflamed body. I wouldn't recommend that. That's what makes the G-string funnier. The speedo is what makes all of it funnier. But it's funny, the difference between like okay Women's former formal attire right so not even formal, but like say a woman who's a presenter on television right? Skirt no problem bare toes open open toe shoes

No problem at all have one of them ones that dangles off your foot a little bit, not all the way on. No one cares. Vagina curtain that covers about 12 inches from your waist down, that's fine. Boobs pressed out together and pushed up and forward. I love how that's formal. No sleeves. No sleeves. Bare arms. sleeves, no sleeves, bare-arms, as much skin as you could possibly get without being naked and to be dressed on television.

And that's formal. Lipstick. Yeah. They're always hot. Painted nails, painted toenails, everything smooth and polished and shaved. That's fine. That's the news. This is totally fine.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And that's formal, you know. Imagine if men, imagine if men in gym shorts and tank tops were giving the news how fucking stupid it would look. Imagine if like all these people that you see on the news, oh, like imagine Don Lemon in his boxer shorts with a tank top on, given the news.

Yeah. Well that's kind of what like a dress is. For sure. A dress with a skirt for those Fox News ladies. How is that different than me in like these shorts that I'm wearing right now and a tank top? How's it different? It's just less threatening maybe.

And it's nice. It's nice. I don't want to discourage it. I just think how crazy is the difference? It's just less threatening maybe. And it's nice. It's nice. I don't wanna discourage it. I just think how crazy is the difference between what men wear versus what women wear? We have a jacket on, like it's cold out. We have a fucking vest and a tie and a shirt and all this shit and women can essentially

be almost naked. And you only assume they have underwear on That might be a thrill if you don't Well, if she had underwear on maybe you'd be able to see it through the garments on the outside that would be terrible Ruin the look ruin the look No one's gonna look at my pussy Have you ever had a girl like that did you go to a nightclub and they are not wearing underwear? I have not. I would imagine that's a wild lady.

It's hot. Yes. I was one time dancing with a girl. And she told you? No, she grabbed my hand. We were holding. And she was walking through the dance floor. You know how chicks just fucking push people out of the way and bring you.

And then we get to the dance floor and she just my arm and I'm like, where is this? And it's all soaking. Damn! She's a wild one. Wild one. Viking babies. That's what that is. That's what it is.

The survivors. And she was strong out there. Survivors. She was strong out there. Of the massacres. And she was living in Australia. She had one of those jeeps that has one of those fucking things up front that kills the kangaroos, you know

Whoa? We saw one of those in San Antonio right in front of the truck. Yeah, yeah the production trucks You see that fucking crazy thing super over the top. Oh cuz they're big cuz they're big It looks mad max. It looks like I'm up front It looks crazy and she had that Jeep she had like horns and then the balls hanging from the back, you know, the soft balls that they had in the back, they had that and she was just a fucking wild one. Wow. They had a kangaroo shield in the front of her vehicle. Yeah, yeah. And this was like when I visited Australia and in my head I was like, kangaroos are like cutie patooties, but when you go to Australia, they'll tell them, like, we hate them, because they just keep jumping in front of cars.

Well, they're everywhere now, too. They're fucking everywhere. They have a lot of kangaroos. It's a weird animal, man. It's marsupial, like, so strange. They have a pouch, they keep their babies in their skin. How'd they develop a backpack? It is the insane-est evolutionary-

A little pouch. How? A bag. How does that, I mean, develop a backpack it is the insane is evolutionary a little yeah how a bag how does that mean how does nature make you get a bag it's like one of the week out of all the animals so like where the fuck did that come from like if you look at a deer and then you look at an elk you go oh kind of see you look at a moose you look at a caribou you like oh I can kind of see and they're like what's that and why is it only in this one spot? Why does it jump like... Yo is that an alien? What is that thing? Yeah. Why did it develop on Australia and nowhere else? What the fuck is that thing? And how come there's nothing that can kill it? And how come you stand on

your tail and do like a Steve-O kick? Kick you hard! And do like a Steve-O kick. They can kick you hard. Yeah. They'll fuck you up. They disembowel people, man. You gotta be really careful with those fuckers. Oh, and they're... People die from the big ones. The big ones, the gray ones?

That the gray ones are the big ones or the red one? Eddie Ift went over there and he said he was walking through a backyard and there was like a six foot tall kangaroo. Jesus fucking Christ. He thought it was fake. He thought it was fake. He didn't know what it was. And his friend was screaming at him, get, turn around, get the fuck away from

it. Jesus Christ. The red kangaroo. That's the big one? Yeah. Dude, more soupy. That sounds like a fucking alien too. A hundred pounds. So you got to think a hundred pound thing that could run 43 miles an hour and it could probably strangle you like those ones that are jacked you ever see the one that yeah dogs of course look at the fucking muscles on that thing course dude what a freaky animal to have all over the place but it just looks like that one that's that's one that went to my gym that's gold Look at that dude. This guy. Yo he's just chilling.

Flaunting giant muscles. Look at the fucking guns on that dude. What's up player? Do you imagine getting in a scratching match with that thing with his giant claws? No no you're done. But they fuck you up man. They're dangerous. And they're all over the place. But that was my question. Like what was supposed to be killing them?

Because there's no infestations of wild animals Like that unless something disrupts the ecosystem, huh? You know because you don't usually usually there's a balance right like there's always going to be a balance between wolves and Antelope and or wolves and bears wolves and deer because they're gonna figure out who wins And if the wolves kill off too many of the deer then their population is gonna drop and bears, wolves, and deer, because they're going to figure out who wins. And if the wolves kill off too many of the deer, then their population is going to drop, they're going to run out of food, and there's going to be like some sort of consequences, and then their population drops down, and then the deer population comes back a little

bit. Nature has a way of balancing itself out in most environments until human beings step in and start fucking with things. So my question is like what happened over in Australia that that thing, that one crazy animal becomes like hordes of them, swarms of them. Like do you see, show some of those videos of the swarms of kangaroos just running. So these people are in their car and you see just like I don't even know what the number is. And they're fast.

They're fast but it's also like why are there so many of them? In any environment where there's something like this there'd be something bigger that eats it. In every environment there'd be a bear, there'd be something. I guess Australia has crocodiles but I don't think they're doing such a good job of killing these things. Natural predators are just like dog-like animals. Oh maybe the thylacine.

What the fuck is that? Okay, the Tasmanian tiger that went extinct. That's a native of Australia as well, that they have that in Australia. But they should have to shoot so many kangaroos now. Where is that, Jamie? Tasmanian wolf and a dingo and a wedge-tailed eagle. Okay, so the humans probably killed all those animals. The humans probably killed all the dingoes. And what was the other animal? Makes sense. That's probably exactly what it is. So I bet, so the thylacine was Australia though, right? This says Tasmanian. I just typed in marsupial natural predators and Tasmanian wolf is the first one listed.

Thylacine? Tasmanian wolf. Yeah, but the thylacine, the Tasmanian tiger. And then yes, it says Tasmanian tiger before they were extinct and also humans. Was that ever in Australia? Am I making that up? I feel like that's in Australia. I mean, it definitely wasn't the movies as far as I know. Right.

That movie with, there's a good movie about a guy who goes to kill it because they're trying to find it, the last thylacine Huh? What the fuck is Willem Dafoe? Yeah, it's good movie. Yeah, so what it is an Australian Right. Okay. So that there was that thing they the you ever seen one. They're freaky looking Show the video of the last I thought no I live in thylacine was in that's a thylacine Look at the mouth on that fucking thing Look how big its mouth is isn't that insane? That's like a horror movie Look at this fucking mouth. Have you saw that thing open its face at you? It's a dog with a stripe and shit

Yeah, it looks like a tiger. It's it's a weird marsupial Pretty sure they're marsupial as well, so they think that thing might be still alive There might be limited numbers of them. Well, this isn't a test. This is that's not real. Somebody stood Oh, this is in color. Oh, they colorized it. Okay, because I think the film is from like the 1930s But this is the last one and look they have it in a fucking box, man God's who's creeped me out We just get so comfortable with that's last one probably I understand but can you bitches afford a larger piece

of land god damn it this concrete that's crazy at the last of these things alive and you make it suffer in a small box with no pillow there's nothing there either even as a kid I remember like I just didn't Yeah, I remember like yeah, even just seeing I remember seeing like a hippo in a zoo and all he has is a small It's an Estonian zoo, too. Yeah, and it's a small like just a just a dribble of water on his head And he would just just cuz they're all drugged out and they and they would just just because they're all drugged out and they and they would just do this like just because also you know the animal

doesn't know. Dude I was in Massachusetts once and I was on my way home from this one I was driving limos and I was coming down this highway and I saw this really rinky-dink zoo I think I was coming from New Hampshire I don't really remember but I remember it was a long drive and I had the rest of the day off so I said fuck it I'm gonna go in this zoo and see what the fuck is going on in this zoo just for funsies because I was out there and I saw this polar bear. I'll never forget this dude just pacing just pacing, just pacing, just pacing. And I was like, oh my God, he's in hell. It's a horrible thing to watch, man.

It's a horrible thing to watch, because that's a sentient being that's experiencing a very bizarre and prolonged suffering and a disconnection from its kind. There's no other bear with it. It's just by itself, by itself in in this cement thing and while people stare at it something that would never happen in the world he doesn't know what the fuck is happy because it's the wrong climate everything and he's like why is my shit

all so shitty yeah but he doesn't even know that he's in a totally wrong he probably is happy in Boston for like five months a year or four months a year, but even then it's probably not cold enough for him. I mean, those fuckers, they're used to living in places where there's nothing but ice. But it's also like that thing of like they say that, oh yeah, but if you let him go, he would die. But that's also because you just... That's the...

Well, you shouldn't have him in the first place. That's the matrix, the real world thing again, that animals also will have that thing where they're, if they're in the wild, I'm sure it's exactly like being in that matrix where in the zoo, yeah, you have all your food, all the stimulus, you're alive, but it's that you gotta get that stimulus you're created to struggle, to hunt, to fucking... Right. Which is, I mean, there's a lot of similarities in human beings absolutely There's a lot of people that are zoo animals. It's like when you go to nature Yeah, like in Austin because I do so much comedy

I'm also I'm into cycling now and sometimes I'll cycle out of the city But every two weeks I have enough energy to do like a long cycle and when I get to complete That's why I love Estonia to the silence it's silence in the woods that you have. And you just feel, cause that's where for thousands of years we've been there. That's where we've been in that silence with no, and then you just feel rejuvenated immediately. I love the sea, I love the ocean, I love woods.

I've always been a pig. And that's the same feeling you get, you know? It's just, you feel it in your blood. Something's fucking... It's raw. Yeah, you're alive. It's uncomfortable, but it's raw. Of course I want to be on Twitter, in my farting and ordering Uber Eats.

Of course I want to do that. That's the matrix. That's the zoo. That's the matrix. It's the human zoo animal. And of course outside is a fucking mosquito, there's the Matrix. That's the Zoo. That's the Matrix. That's the human zoo animal. And of course outside is a fucking mosquito, there's a guy, there's whatever, you know, there's fucking, you hear some fucking animal you don't know. I'm scared of fucking spiders, everything.

When the bomb goes off, you hear the first recoil. Yeah. You're out there when you hear it. Yeah. Boom. Quackle. Then your feet start vibrating yeah they took Chicago yeah that's that's what we have to look forward to the way this fucking

goofy place is being run uh-huh they're pushing us closer and closer to something so my luck that as soon as I come to America, the fucking country collapses huh? It's not collapsing but boy it's in a weird state of this strange struggle where people kind of forgot we're all supposed to be united and that's our strength and being divided the way we're being divided, especially being divided by bullshit. You know like you shouldn't be allowed to lie like you shouldn't be allowed to lie and you shouldn't be allowed to lie in a campaign ad and you shouldn't be allowed to use CGI to make your crowds look bigger. Like you shouldn't be allowed to do any of these things. And we're allowing it.

And it's having this tremendous impact on the way people see the news. The news is so filtered. Everything in this country that's in mainstream news, you have to follow a certain set of rules in order to be able to get information out. And if you want to talk about the campaigns and if you want to talk about the war and if you want to talk about what's going on in Ukraine what's going on in Gaza you have to have like very specific narratives and you're not allowed to deviate from that at all and then that's what's giving you the news and so we're all like what the

fuck is real and so anytime anything happens even when the president gets shot we're like was that even real like we don't think anything's real anymore absolutely what primes us for the matrix when no one knows think anything's real anymore. And that's what primes us for the Matrix. When no one knows what anything's real anymore, it's so much easier to just slide right in, Ari. Slide right in, Ari, and ah, we're in. Fuck the world, dude. I'm in a secure apartment complex. It's level five security.

There's bank vault doors that lock to make sure the marauders don't get in while you're connected. And you can just be free in this other world and ride around in your dragon on Pandora. Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. You know, you're fucking that blue lady with the hair. Ksh. Remember the connected hairs of the dragon?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow. That's what's gonna happen. And we're gonna give into it because we're making this world such a goddamn mess by not paying attention to what we're doing. Not paying attention to the really important things. Like don't let corporations tell you what's true. Uh-huh. They're not gonna tell you it's true if they don't have to. Yeah. If they get away with not telling

you, if they make more money, if they don't tell you, you can't have that. That's not how you get your news. You can't have that because it's just too easy to manipulate. So easy to manipulate. You know, insider's trading is illegal, but that's legal? That's legal? You can manipulate the news? Like what?

You can have certain companies can advertise on the news and then you'll never criticize those companies? That seems weird companies that seems weird Yes, it's weird Yes, somebody was explaining how isn't it crazy that how how any? politician that wants to get elected never mentions tobacco alcohol Like never the right because the back yeah, you know you can't mention that shit Which is crazy kind of mention cigarettes because people are so stupid right because the back yeah you don't you can't mention that shit which is

crazy you can kind of mention cigarettes because people are so stupid they're gonna smoke them anyway like it's just like you can kind of get away with a we should cigarettes should do terrible no one should smoke yeah yeah soon as they could figure out like a spray like an inhaler they're gonna all all these you're excuse me they outlawed those a long time ago which is weird. Outlawed what? Cigarette ads or like commercials on TV and radio. Do they still have them on the internet? We haven't had tobacco or alcohol commercials for like 10 years now. They used to only be in magazines. And then your cigarette packs are so cool it's like a throwback to

my childhood because it's like the red beautiful marble design in Europe and in Australia and you know they have like the cancer on it and you have photos of dead babies, tumors and shit, premature babies, long black lung. I'd like to see what else those people were doing. 100% 100% they're blaming it on cigarettes that guy is probably all fucked up in a lot of different ways Yeah, 100% But you mean you can criticize tobacco and no one really cares because people are gonna keep smoking as long as it's legal It's like alcohol people are not gonna stop drinking shut up. They're not gonna they want to drink

They're having that with friends have a cocktail clink salute you know congratulations yay clink glasses they're not people like doing that they're not gonna stop and part of the talk all the shit you are the excitement of the clink is the fact that it's bad come on that's the fun yeah it's part of a bit absolutely absolutely it's a little bit of let's have fun yeah and you know it's a good feeling when you're with friends and you have a couple of cocktails and you're laughing your ass off like Dude, it's a good feeling but you shouldn't do it every goddamn day It shouldn't be your whole life. You shouldn't be drinking 12 hours a day every day

But that's why it's so exciting is that life is not infinite and you do take those small risks and that's what's That's what's so exciting. Also, people that do drink 20 hours a day, those people in your life, in your journey, those people are examples where you can learn something without having to actually do it yourself. You don't have to become an alcoholic and ruin your life, but you can see someone do it and say Okay, my stepdad was a bad one. Ooh bad. One of those were in the mornings. He's because your system is You know your system is done in the mornings in the bathroom He would take two to three hours of like shitting the shitting and then just heaving You know because your body's just rejecting all this poison. Oh,

God. So you hear him throw up every day? Every day. Oh my God. You know, there's no throw up left, but it's just the heaving. And then put on a suit, put on a suit, bloated as fuck, put on a suit, all happy puppy, survive for eight hours. And then he would, I remember he would come home and as a child he would come home and he would be in the car and just sit there in his car and I would see him sit there and as a child yeah as a child you're like oh he's just taking a moment maybe you don't understand that this guy's barely keeping it together yeah because he's about to go down a rabbit and he's fighting the rabbit hole every day he's just like I don't want to and he would then if you're drinking all the time all the time always small small vodka bottles all

the time get him quick little airline ones yeah and uh the his hands you know when the sobriety starts coming oh it's a sketchy disease it was bad bad. It was bad, yeah. And, but as a child, you're like, oh my God, I never want to do that. But when you start getting gold. Was he ever happy when he was drunk? There was a tipping point. When he became happy? No, it was like, the first drink is always happy

because your addiction is giving you all green lights. Right. When you have an addiction, the first hit of that substance, all your body's saying is, it's all green lights baby, this is the night, this is the night! Yes! Let's fucking go! Because it's your addiction. Yeah, let's fucking rock and roll. Big glass of whiskey. But then, you know, as a child growing up in that environment, there would always be that point where you see him on the couch and that look, you know, an alcoholic's look is, you know,

the detachment of the soul. Yeah, it's a dangerous look. It's, then it's time for you to go to your room, you know, and just fucking hang out there and wait for the storm to pass, you know? Yeah. And it's like, and it was like, yeah, there was always that point of like.

It's such a creepy fucking. And when you're a child, you're like, oh, don't do that. But when you start getting older, you also feel like, start feeling empathetic of like, I don't know the life he lived as well. Substance abuse always works with trauma really well. They go hand to hand. So this guy's childhood, you know

The more I found out which is true because I hated him. I fucking hate he was uh, you know If he's drinking heavily it also could be like family influenced like see that's what I found out later behavior when you're young Absolutely. That's what I found out later that he was in I thought I'm in a dark spot when he's home, you know I had friends that became alcoholics that didn't necessarily have childhood trauma as much as they had childhood influence. And then friends that kind of all went down a bad road and they were all like doing hard drugs and drinking a lot. You know, it just becomes a part of the culture of your little community if you're hanging with a group of people that just like

get fucked up all the time. I've seen it suck good people in. Like everybody wants to say that there's like some sort of a reason why you get sucked into it. I have had friends that have nothing wrong in their life. They're happy people and they take oxys and they don't want to stop taking them. They get injured, something happens and they take oxys and they don't want to stop taking them. Jesus Christ.

They get injured, something happens, they take them, they don't want to stop. They feel good. They don't want to stop. And essentially oxycodone, we learned this recently, is what Hitler was taking during the war. They were giving him a form of oxycodone. We had this gentleman on the podcast the other day that, what was his name again?

Norman Oehler. Book's right in front of you. Oh, here it is. Thank you. Norman Oehler. Norman, sorry Norman. Norman Oehler. This is all about Hitler's drug use during World War II. But he was talking about that video and he didn't think that video was real Oh, I was like, why do you think that and it's cuz he had a direct Like a line of history between when Hitler gets introduced to this one doctor and the drugs this doctors giving him And that's the Olympic Games one. Yeah, so that's 36

That should be before all that stuff happened in his mind But I'm of the opinion that Hitler, if you can get him to go on Oxycodone a year from now, he's probably trying some shit that he didn't tell you about. That's what I would imagine. So the doctor, he's getting notes from the doctor who treated Hitler. How the fuck do we know how honest Hitler was with that doctor? He was probably already taking a bunch of shit. They already knew this stuff was real. And when you're a leader, you don't want any of that information out there, you know, that you're a fucking... Also, there was zero stigma when they first created meth.

Oh, amphetamines. Yeah, and Norman was showing us this... what was it called? Pervitin? Is that the right name? So they had a literal brand of methamphetamine that they would sell in Germany. There's those commercials, you know, those German commercials, I've seen those. It's fucking crazy. They were all taking meth for productivity. I remember my history teaching you from there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were taking a low dose of meth and they were giving it to the soldiers. This Blitz book is insane because it's a story about how the Nazis were jacked up on meth and they just went all the way through Poland in three days and that they just never slept. They just kept marching. I used to have a bit that you know while Germany's were testing with meth you guys in America were testing with LSD and I would have loved to see those two armies meet. By the way no that's another part of this thing the Nazis were testing with LSD as well. They

were running tests on the prisoners they were running tests on concentration camp prisoners yeah they were yeah tests on concentration camp prisoners. Yeah. They were, yeah, the tests never came to fulfillment because the prison camps got liberated, but they were doing it. They had record of them doing that with LSD. But meth is the perfect war drug if you think of it. You just fucking get amped up and jump into a ditch with a bayonet. Right. You're going to go, you need some meth to have a bayonet. 100%. 100%. you need some meth you have a bayonet 100% 100% that's the right drug for a good soldier yeah at the front of the line

they get and they had different dosages for different people so if someone's in a tank they get the most they get the most meth because they're fucking let's fucking go that's the front of the line you know they're the ones are gonna get attacked first they have to be the most messed up. Who you put on LSD the guy who plans the attack or something? Do you know that in was it Iraq or Afghanistan where soldiers were listening to like death metal while they were operating tanks? If you see if you're seeing videos of dudes like operating from inside of tanks.

It's death metal. That's gonna be the craziest job the world has ever known. You're in a giant metal box. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack,

clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack or who knows the transmission fails and then you're out there in enemy territory while they're shooting missiles at you I've always thought that because the Germans were the first ones with a tank, with a Panzer, right? That was correct, right? I don't know I think so. I think so. And I remember always thinking like imagine

like being like a Russian soldier or something and you're with a like a bolt action rifle and you see that fucking thing here I crack you don't even know what the fuck that is. Yeah, and you're like a car But then you see and do that feel clunk nothing cluck cluck clunk. Oh My god. Oh my god. Oh my god a tank a tank what an insane idea it's basically what the scene is from all quiet in the Western Fronts pretty oh pretty fucking badass yeah yeah yeah time to watch it because we're doing a podcast but yeah yeah oh exactly first time they see the tank look at this fuck look at this imagine can't stop them it's literally like seeing a transformer right now like if you would see This is not and nobody told you

Yeah, nobody I watch it. It's an amazing movie. I heard it's awesome. I heard that's the new one, right? It's different from the book slightly, but it's still it's a sad good story. Yeah. Well, I'm sure there's no happy war movies That's a no movies bulls American ones are fucking awesome. Black Hawk Down, Jarhead. Those are all fucking amazing, dude. The Pink Mist. Missing in action. I don't know. Chuck Norris.

Ah, really? Yeah. Goes back to Vietnam, bring people back. The American made- Tossed some karate kicks in the jungle with cowboy boots on. American movies made war seem the coolest shit ever. Not always. Saving Private Ryan certainly didn't. Yeah, fair. That was like it. Full Metal Jacket certainly didn't. Yeah. That's my favorite. That is a good one.

I watched all the war movies. I was too young when I saw it. The Apocalypse Now. There here it is. This is Missing in Action Chuck Norris. He's right around on an inflatable book. See this is the America I grew up in. They're all shooting at a bitch you can't hit him. He's Chuck Norris. And so they just spin around. I love that it's a boat and they're shooting at a boat and nothing happens. Nothing happens dude.

They can't even come close to hit them. And then they go chase after them. Guess what's gonna happen? Well I'll tell you right now. Chuck Norris is gonna fuck them up. Because he's Chuck Norris So fun I mean these movies are amazing amazing. They're amazing because they're like almost like you're watching a cartoon You know but then you can get like full metal jacket, which is, that's an intense, that's a totally different experience.

Like that's war, I think, in a much more realistic light. For sure. What those people experienced. Yeah, for sure. Can you imagine being a fucking kid back in the 60s when you didn't really have any way of knowing what the fuck was actually going on in Vietnam? And also, yeah, they're saying that the fucking end of the world's coming and you're the last frontier

You know you have no way to check it and even questioning it would be in bad taste You know yeah, you're not supposed to and the people are labeled traitors like Muhammad Ali That is true. They send you over there that the American true. Oh, yeah, that's a crazy Oh, you know I thought it's too young. I saw this too young cuz I didn't quite get it, you know Oh, you should watch it again. Yeah, I have to fucking great fucking dark I remember that scene when he was in the bathroom before he shot himself in the face with And he put his toe through the fucking yeah rifle. Oh my god. Mm-hmm. Yeah That is true that the American troops were much more

Because you've never been invaded, so. Right. At least our trauma that we heard from grandfathers and shit with swallows about, like it was almost a heroic thing of standing up for your country, whereas American maybe, yeah, it's kinda like, why are you going there, you know?

And that trauma must be bad when you're coming back, because they told you that it's, you the fucking you have to save the world basically well they were telling them that they had to fight the communists uh-huh right and they told them that the communist North Korea had attacked a boat the American boat that never happened the Gulf of Tonkin incident oh yeah yeah just made up this story. So they made up this propaganda bullshit and they created a false flag and through that they justified us going into war and it went on for a long fucking time and it didn't make

any sense and no one today thinks it made any sense. No one today thinks it makes a good idea or it was a good idea rather, unless you're some insane war lover. Anybody look at Vietnam, well Vietnam overall is a net positive, because here's what we got out of Vietnam. This is what came out of that war, okay? First of all, the culture shifted. That's how it needed to happen.

Like you couldn't even come up with justifications. Why would we go into this country and fire bomb them and spray Agent Orange and who knows how many people come home with fucking cancer? Because you used a deforestation technique that's like this horrific chemical that kills people. Crazy. It's nuts. It's nuts. And they did it because people back then didn't have any access to information. There was no way to know. There was no exposés showing that, you know, this is not a real attack.

There's no reason for us to be over there. There's other things involved here that's causing people to want to send US troops to Vietnam, and probably none of them good for you. Like you really, as a United States citizen, you'd be best served, the world would be best served with you right here. 100%. 100%.

You need to go over there and firebomb a village, because someone told you to, you don't need to go over there and fucking climb into a tunnel and go and try to fight some Viet Cong guy. This is insane. Why are you there? Makes no sense. But they tricked people.

And they did it for a long ass time. It went on for years. And so, the fact that they can still pull it off today, Makes no sense, but they trick people. And they did it for a long ass time. It went on for years. And so, the fact that they can still pull it off today, that they can still, I mean, who knows today, like what we're gonna look back on like we look at the Gulf of Tonkin incident, or what we're gonna look back on

and realize that it had been manipulated so the event was real, but the event was caused by a series of moves behind the scenes to ensure that war takes place. There's so much complication when it comes to these things because there's so much money being thrown around. And then, at least today, we have other outlets for information.

At least today, you can kind of get a sense of how things are true or not true based on really intelligent people that you know that are online that are talking about them. And you go, no, it's actually this. Like with that female boxer, like that was a big one, right? Where everybody's like, okay, what is going on? Is that a female, is that a male?

Is that someone has XY chromosomes? I saw that information that it was the XY thing early, but it was just the Levine of that it's a man just came a bit too strong. Because both the information came out pretty much, I would, in my sources, I would say I saw similar time where I was like, oh, it's a man, but then you just open another scroll a bit more and then you see the XY chromosome thingy and then you're like, okay, but just the Levine of that institute came on a bit strong. Well, XY chromosome is male.

Yeah, it's that male. Yeah, but the definition of like was because I think the first reaction was that it's a man transitioning to a woman. Right. That's what people thought initially. And then they realized, no, this is someone who has a genetic issue. But there was another, there's a boxing committee that had,

I'm going to send you this, Jamie, because this kind of makes it all make a little bit more sense. But it was essentially that there's different versions of these kinds of diseases that people have, and depending on those versions, some of them, they go through male puberty, and they have male frames, and they're male, but when they're born, they have significant issues. Okay, so here it is.

I found it and I'll send it to you Jamie. But it's European vice president of the World Boxing Organization has come forward to confirm that Algerian boxer Emine Khalif is male. This person said he warned the Olympic Committee about several male boxers in the women's category, but nothing was done. Who knows? You know I don't I don't have any direct information about whether that is a male or female. Let's just say that one two slaps. One two is not bad but also that person's lost before. Yeah. To female boxers but here's the thing. But

that doesn't. That doesn't mean that like there's a lot of girls out there boys that can kick your ass exactly there are you know get in the ring with a man anewness good luck bitch she'll fuck you up and she's a woman right there's women that are really really good and this person might not be that good but it seems like they went through male puberty which should exclude you from competing as a woman they look male they have male frame they have which should exclude you from competing as a woman. They look male, they have male frame, they have XY chromosome. You're being told that you're a bigot for looking at very obvious, what we have always considered biological representations, right? So like,

what is it in biology when something is a male human being. Do they have an XX chromosome or do they have an XY? They say, well, they have an XY. Well, we know that. But saying that makes you a bigot, which is insanity. As a sports commissioner, that's very black and white for me, at least the chromosomal issue. That's what the enhanced game system is about. As a human, I do feel empathetic towards her, you know.

It's a bit of a pickle. Yeah, but I don't necessarily know if that's a her. This is the problem. What they're saying is it's a male with a sexually, some developmental disease that they, or developmental issue, some genetic anomaly, something that happens to them. But they're going, they have testes, and they go through male puberty, and they don't have the ability to get pregnant. I don't even know if they have ovaries. Do they have ovaries? I don't know. I was gonna... In this situation, I don't know.

I don't think they have eggs. I'm reading a version that CBS Sports put out where they talked to the International Olympics Committee and the IBA? They're saying these tests are not legitimate tests. Yeah, I was going to bring this up too. They were saying that some people think that it's because the Soviets did them, they don't trust them. So the International Olympic Committee spokesperson, Mark Adams, said in a press conference on Sunday, the tests themselves, the process of the tests and the ad hoc nature of the tests are not legitimate. The testing, the method of the testing, the process of the tests, and the ad hoc nature of the tests are not legitimate.

The testing, the method of the testing, the idea of the testing, which happened kind of overnight, none of it is legitimate, and this does not deserve any response. Okay. By saying it's not legitimate is a very weird thing. I had read it came up after this event where she beat an undefeated boxer and then people got mad. Right. Right. came up after this event where she beat an undefeated boxer and then people got right mad right but did this person let's Google this then did this person this boxer did they take a chromosome test that do you see that article that

this article says that that originally right here the originally the test was kept confidential. Did not undergo a testosterone examination, but were subject to a separate and recognized test whereby the specifics remained confidential. Then the next day or like Monday, I don't know how many days later that was, then they came out and said something different. These tests show they have a high level of testosterone. Kremlev said like men, they have men's level of testosterone. We cannot go further in our investigation

Whether they were born like men or some changes Intervene at the later stages and then that's where the IOC said what you read earlier where this tests are not legitimate, right? Right, but they're not saying why they're not legitimate This is what gives me pause when they just keep saying it's legitimate, the ad hoc nature of the tests are not legitimate, you have to say, when you're talking about a scientific test, there's some test that's repeatable, right? So if you can test for XY chromosome versus XX chromosome, do it, tell me what the results are.

If you can test for testosterone, do it, tell me what the results are. And if one says male, says XY, and the other one says high levels of testosterone, that's not a woman. Sports, sports-wise, yeah. Absolutely. Sports-wise. Yeah. They want to slap with those shoulders. But it's also, it's like, what are we doing? Like, why do we have women's sports in the

first place if you let... I mean, you could say that some people have a genetic anomaly like that woman, she had X, X, Y, right? She was like a legitimate hermaphrodite I believe. Testosterone levels not X, Y chromosome, which is the pattern typically seen in men, are the key criteria of eligibility in Olympic events where the sports governing body has framed and approved rules. That's interesting. But it's the same thing with when like totally, I mean, genetically women start doing steroids. That's the whole thing about women's sports is the big problem. I remember like... Once they do it, they change their frame. I'm not making accusations, but Chris Cyborg, I remember, was a big thing in Strike Force

where it was the first time I saw where I was like, this is a big loophole in women's sports right now, especially combat sports because it's about doing actually physical damage. 100%. It's very visibly seen the difference. In other sports where it's reaction time and whatever tennis or whatever, you might make the argument of like just get better at the technique, you know? But in combat it's very visible because it's not only about the body and whatever, it's literally people who are

on testosterone has been proven harder to KO because you're just ramped up. Testosterone, it's literally like the gold particle in the sense of fucking sports. They've stopped some fighters from fighting because they tested so hard. Absolutely. They're like, get out of here. This fucking guys. Yeah. Yeah. I remember it was, who failed? I remember it was Jelson and Alistair Overham. They used to fail tests where it was like, like the number, it's like, there's the rage of 18 men coming at you right now. Well that's Vitor Belfort in his prime, right?

Oh. The TRT Vitor days. I only compete in Brazil. I want to be home. Oh sure. Like a demon he would come at you. Like a demon. Yeah.

He would have those videos where he was like an elliptical machine and he was... The thing about this too, it's like if they're saying they're testing for testosterone levels, how often are you doing that? Because guess what? It's easy to make your testosterone levels crash. Oh. Real easy. Well, the whole thing is always that it's that the testings.

You can... it's like, it's like pirating. They're always a step ahead. They're always a step ahead. They're always. But all you have to do to kill your testosterone levels are drink alcohol, eat shitty food, and don't get any sleep. Or just fucking live in the mountains of Dagestan and hope the connection flight is a bit late. That's... Dude.

That's ultimate conspiracy theory. Oh, very interesting that you went to a training camp. Yeah, they're the best wrestlers. Huh, very interesting. Yeah, they're the best wrestlers. Huh? Very interesting Well, they are the best wrestlers true, but so jacked Yeah, so is that what you're saying? Yeah. Yeah Well, I would imagine that if they knew for a fact that you couldn't get to the North Pole To do a drug test Yeah, they'd be a fucking MMA camp on the North Pole to do a drug test. Yeah.

There'd be a fucking MMA camp on the North Pole. Yeah. Also, I went to a camp in Thailand back in the day, and I remember over there it was like not even a secret. Really? I go to that camp and it's like American fighters would be there. And everybody would know that that's why they're doing it? No, no, no, not everybody would know.

They would be like, who would be handing out shots at a bar? Who wants the syringe? What are we doing? And there's not, dude, these are all retards that are smoking joints and sparring. There's nobody doing like, we need to do, just like, nah, give me what you got. And are these people pros? Semi-pro. You live in a Honda Civic and every once in a while you move back to your parents place because it's

because it's hard. Fighting's really hard. It's hard dude. So you, so people don't know you, you when did you start doing stand-up comedy and when we were you fighting at the same time you were doing stand-up comedy? There was a transitionary period and I started okay so this is my martial arts history of course as I mentioned had a stepdad who was fucking crazy so there was that insecurity you know there's that thing of like I'm not saying that having a father who's maybe violent towards your mother is a bit better but I think there's a bit of a more evolutionary connection that a family dynamic can have. Whereas if you're like a 12 to 13, 14 year old boy and a new guy, you're supposed to

be the man of the house, even though you're a child. Right. You're supposed, it's my sister and my mother and it's our dynamic and a new guy moves in and this retard is now and he's an alcoholic yeah so that creates obviously so you know you have a deep sadness in the house tension no dude i would still not my mom rift city my mom has always been rift city she was she was always having fun throughout all the darkness in our life. We had a rough we had some rough periods, you know, but In my house, it's always been fun city. I would always it's always been my humor

I would literally dude I would have points where it's me and my mother on fucking Because we would just leave the house during the night, you know We just walk towards and my sister was a bit older so she moved out So we would just walk in the night towards the direction and she would try to call all her friends where to stay for the night, because this ape is fucking going bananas back home.

And there would be, we would be on the sidewalk, you know. So what did you start out with? What was the first martial art that you? And the next day I would go to school and still be fucking happy puppy, just because, I don't know, was how we we came up, right? so then there was this program called them kick-ass martial arts and It was Chris Crudelli this guy soul patch British guy

he would travel the world and this was at a point where pride and UFC were happening but in Traditional martial arts were still holding on Wing Chun traditional martial arts, we're still holding on. Wing Chun was holding on. Aikido was holding on. Kung Fu was kind of, it was kind of going away, you know, but Chris Crudel had a program where he would travel the world and study these ancient, there's this like dim mak, where it's like, ha, and seven years later you die of cancer, you know, all that shit. And as a kid I'm like, oh that's all I gotta do. Move to Korea for two weeks, study this fucking death touch and just come back and kill somebody. You know. Yeah. But then I remember I saw UFC, I saw a few pride fights

from Fedor Emelianenko because he was Russian and he was a big prominent figure in the martial arts community. But I remember I saw Lyoto Machida Shogun, the first one. And in my head, because Machida looked like a traditional martial artist, you know, because he was half Asian or something, you know. So in my head, I'm like, why doesn't he do the, why don't these people do the Chris Crudelli shit, you know? Fucking neutralize your opponent to a wrist lock. Then I started watching Pride, Wanderlei Silva.

He's stomping people, holdinganderlei Silva, he's stomping people, holding onto the ropes, stomping. And in my head, I'm like, why doesn't he do the dimmuk? You know, hi! And you fucking... So then I was maybe 15, 16, late, late, when I was doing gymnastics and I was doing a bit of weightlifting and I saw dudes like wrestling, you know, and I was doing a bit of weightlifting, and I saw dudes like wrestling, you know? And I started thinking, like Greco-Roman, and I saw them like suplex, jacked guys in fucking, just suplexing each other, and that's where the wheels start turning of like,

dude, you're not gonna wrist lock this guy. You're not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna death touch this guy. This guy's gonna run through me. So I joined a gym, SPG subsidiary gym, Britt Michelson, shout out my man. He was a great mentor and a father figure at that time for me. And I joined his gym. And it was Jiu Jitsu, MA, we did everything together, you know. And I had my first amateur fight like five months

into like doing it. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. Now did they make sure the person you fought didn't have a lot of experience either? Yes, but he was like 34. Oh no!

Yeah. That's not fair. And he went to war, he was like a former military star that stood down a tank. Jesus Christ. Yeah But you still amateur rules, but still MMA gloves fucking haymaker city, you know, right? Was he good? Yeah, he choked me just keep adding time I tried to tap I was too late but

Yeah, I would not recommend that I would not recommend you getting your ass kicked by someone who has a lot more experience at five months in. I always think you gotta give... I think we were the same experience in martial arts, but he was a man. Dude, I'm a suburban boy. Was he though? Let me tell you something. If he got to be how old?

30-something? And he went to war? That dude's had training. Yeah, I mean... It's not just five months of training. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair. Listen, that kind of guy training. It's not just five months of training. Listen, that kind of guy is done a little bit here, a little bit there.

That kind of guy probably boxed a little when he was younger, did a little karate. We were such a small community that I still trained with him, I remember. And yeah, boy, I was fine. So he was nice to you after he took his sleep? No, before, I mean. Oh, you trained with him before I mean oh you train with them before such a small community, you know So I wouldn't say the skill discrepancy was actually that big but it was just

When you go to war and you can be in a competition I'm having a full-on panic attack Yeah, you know I'm fucking first time in you know fucking hand-to-hand He's a man this guy's just stared down a tank. How old were you at the time? 16. Yeah, that's not fair. Yeah. And also like a pussy 16.

Another like a Pakistani 16 where it's like hair on my knuckles and I have two kids. Those are like the real mothers. Dude, whenever you would in those amateur circuits, whenever it's like, I don't know if Americans do that, but like if you say you're fighting an American, do you guys slip in that it's like, it's like I don't know if Americans do that but like if you say you're fighting an American do you guys slip in that it's like it's Jerome you know it's you're gonna just so you're ready it's gonna be a bit of explosive opponent like in in Estonia it's like if you're finding a Russian guy are you finding Ivan who's like me he's a Russian guy or are you fighting somebody whose names ends with a mama met off it's a very different it's still Russia

yeah mountain Russians. We say from the hills. Yeah, we always say from the hills. Like it's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... A bit of a different double leg that's gonna come at you. Wow, dude. Did you see that Corey Sandhagen, Umar, and Nirmakumar fight? Of course, of course.

So high level. I felt bad for Sandhagen. He was wrestling so well. Everything correctly. It was everything for Sandhagen. He was wrestling so well, everything correctly. Sandhagen was cool. He didn't get backed up into the corner too early. He was keeping his distance. He had good knees. And good jujitsu.

What I liked about Sandhagen in that fight, he used jujitsu. He used proper jujitsu. And for the first two rounds, it's exactly like the Khabib thing. The first two rounds, you can actually out hustle not out hustle him but you can you can just you can be explosive enough to create those moments of jiu-jitsu where you can stay safe right but that train just keeps coming train keeps coming just fucking keeps coming and mean. And you know the difference in Umar versus Khabib is that Umar is...

Stand up. His stand up is so dynamic. His kicking is so dynamic. It's so dangerous and quick. You know, like he throws head kicks off the front leg quick. He throws things that are fast. Yeah, he threw that front switch kick. Oh yeah. Not even a switch, he just slapped it out there. Yeah, dude, he's good. He's fucking real good.

His striking was on point, like everything was on point, and he's more threatening wrestling. Very good. It's like it was a more potent combination of the skills that Corey has as well. I mean, he's, Sanhagen's brilliant. He's one of the best fighters in the sport, in my opinion, so to see a guy like Umar beat him you like wow That's hot ended to come on strong in the fourth and the fifth that guys that guys fucking good, man

Yeah, he's racing good and him versus O'Malley would be wild Wild yeah Rob him versus Merab will be wild too Well, my Robin him I want to see more because Marab is also a bully. You know? Marab is a different, he's made out of different stuff. They say Marab trains hard like right up until the fight. But you can see that. You can see that.

Animal. With a guy like that you're always like okay, how long can your joints hold out? Exactly. How long is it going to be before your back goes? Because your will will carry you through. If the human body wasn't so goddamn fragile, guys like that would never get beat. Never get beat. Exactly.

That's the whole thing. Like Cain Velasquez, when his body started going. Also Marab's been dropped and hurt. I think it was Marlon Vera who hurt him. Marais. Bad, Marais. Marlon Marais. Bad.

Bad, had him really badly. Bad, almost. And then he went out and stopped him in the next round. Yeah, exactly. Well Marais had that thing where. Poor bastard, I feel so bad for him because he was so good. So good.

But just, it's such a chaotic sport where a few bad fights just can have such a tremendous amount impact to your fights that the next ones you know so who to fight man the first round he was lighting Henry up lighting him up where I was like if this guy can keep this up for five rounds Henry's gonna get stopped no battery just came on in the second round like an animal beat the shit out of him he closed the distance he had one in PFL too with that left hook and that switch kick yeah he killed Aljamain Sterling oh yeah man bad bad he killed Aljamain bad went for a

switch kick to the body Aljamain shot in the knee but then once he lost to Henry he started losing to a lot of folks a A lot, and now it's like... There was the... Sanhagen dropped him with a wheel kick, remember that? Yeah, that was a bad one too, right to the temple. Right to the temple. Yeah, that just shows the skill diversity that guy has. He can do everything. Sanhagen's so good.

So to watch Umar beat him, I'm like, God damn, Umar's the truth. He's the truth. He's the truth. It's like those guys in that part of the world. Yeah. And they're so frustrating because it's not like an incredible thing that they're doing, you know, if you watch somebody like Conor McGregor who has that fucking death touch, it's such a spectic, it's such like, Oh my God, this guy has the power, but these guys just out hustle you, out grind you, and they keep coming.

They keep coming. Annoying and bully and mean. But then you got guys like Islam that could do everything. And Umar, this is the difference. Islam is scary standing up. In the beginning of his career, he was really good at wrestling, not as good at standing up. But now he's just as good at standing up. Like in the beginning of his career, he was really good at wrestling, not as good at standing up, but now he's just as good at standing up.

When you KO Volkanovsky like that, and then you choke out Dustin Poirier like that, like that guy, he's got, that's the full thing, right? He can head kick you, he could strike with you and knock you, knocked out Glacier Tebow with one shot standing. He can can knock you out like legitimately and he could still strangle you and he could still smother you like it's the perfect combination But it's like that is such a crazy strategy It's like you're out manning every guy you fight is out grappling them out striking him Most people like try to be like a specialist. Exactly.

But they're like the full Marauder. The full Marauder, man. I think if you wanted to really think about who's the most complete fighter, you got to say like Max Holloway, Ilya Deporia, but Islam Akhachev, you gotta put it on top of that. There's the most complete,

he could KO you with a head kick. Just like John Jones. If John Jones was active. That's what I'm saying. Let's not forget the one true God. John Jones. That's my boy. The problem with John is...

He's the most dangerous man who's ever lived. Unfortunately, that shoulder injury and then the uncertainty about moving up in the heavyweight. How's he going to deal with guys like Francis? Which was always the big fight. That was the fight that slipped between our fingers. It was the Fador, Brock Lesnar, all over again. That was a big one that slipped through our fingers. That was the fight because you know the question is would Francis be able to keep John off of him? Exactly. You know and would John be able to avoid the big strike standing? Exactly. You know there's a difference in size that's

pretty significant. Even when John was getting big, it's a difference in size. That's pretty significant. So you know, even when John was getting big It's a different kind of big, you know like the 265 that Francis carries around that's a natural lean 265 it's like I mean, it's a coal. What was he cobalt mining or some shit? No sand mines sand mines Yeah, that's a different. It was a child Different guy that dude's power is extraordinary. Especially with them little gloves on, you cannot get clipped by that guy. So the question is, would John be able to get a hold of Francis?

Would Francis be able to keep John off him? If Francis can keep John off him, would Francis be able to stop those leg kicks? Because John side kicks the shit out of people's knees. And it'll fucking scare you because it makes your leg hyper extended blow your knee out mean it's me I loved John Jones when he was mean Glover Desherra with that with that overhook remember that overhook that he had on the shoulder yeah yeah mean elbows how about Tiago Tiago how to get two knee surgeries both knees kill it in one machida

As soon as he goes out him to sleep just dropped him Yeah, well his his run in the light heavyweight division was nothing nothing like it Yeah, literally created for human combat his body looked insane small torso with limbs coming out It looked insane if you saw his silhouette looks insane. Right and how small his calves are. Yeah, but yet tremendous strength. And strong. And the best guy ever at utilizing distance. Strong mentally for sure. And clever. Clever. Yeah we just have to see him back and apparently they're trying to do

that thing It's supposed to be in Madison Square Garden, right? Is that announced officially young Jamie? There's the John Jones versus steep a Madison Square Garden November So there's being talked about also know there's back to steep up But I don't want to see that fight that badly as I want to see You know, I feel like you got to give steep a one more shot okay I feel like the guy's been strung around for this long if you want to respect the history and the lineage of the UFC heavyweight championship right he's the most accomplished UFC heavyweight of all time

you're very very the title more than anybody and you know he stopped Daniel Cormier he's a legit fucking killer. He stopped a lot of like very, very good people. He stopped Junior Dos Santos. And he also won Francis. Yeah. He beat Francis the first time. And he heard him the second time. Yeah. But the second time it was a different Francis. Jesus Christ. One of the scariest chaos I've ever seen in my life. In the Apex.

Yeah. Being there live was incredible apex yeah do it being there live was incredible oh you were the lie oh yeah so there was like a hundred people in that place when he followed up with the hammer fish to the neck area and that thud bro that left hook was and it was like when Steve A was trying to like capitalize on a shot he landed it's one of those victories where me and the boys were on the couch and it's not a whoo it's a just a yeah yeah because also you know how much damage Stipe has taken in his career. Jesus Christ and Stipe hurts him. There it is. He hit him with that left hook and really hurt him there. Yeah yeah but Stipe also hurts him. Stipe also hurts him. Look at this And now steep it goes. Oh

He thought he had him when he landed that right hand ah Christ my so apparently he's gained a bunch of muscles. Thank they has he's been lifting a lot And you know, he hasn't fought in two years. Thank God. I'm doing comedy lot and you know he hasn't fought in two years. Thank God I'm doing comedy. Yeah thank God but for me when I look at an older fighter like Stipe who's a legend I say that's kind of what I want I want a guy to take a long time off in between a bad KO and then you know no one's more disciplined than that guy he's a very disciplined dedicated fighter that's why he was the most successful UFC heavyweight champion ever he's also 40 something years most successful UFC heavyweight champion ever.

He's also 40 something years old right? 42 I think even. Okay so you got to if you just look realistically at natural athletes when they get to that age you have concerns like how much of their performance do they have left like and it varies but it does last longer as a heavyweight. Absolutely. Heavyweights they can because the it... Because the nervous system doesn't need to be as rapid fire as in a younger actor. Like a bantamweight. Yeah, yeah. Like 42-year-old bantamweight is kind of done. But George Foreman won the heavyweight title at 45.

Absolutely. So... Bernard Hopkins. Yeah, but Bernard was a freak. I just feel like as a fan and as a person who respects the sport, you got to give Stipe a shot. Especially when he was supposed to fight John and then John tore his shoulder. See, with me it's just like, it's a classic thing of, it's the mean quote that Don King used to have that,

when they asked him why he was ripping off Mike Tyson, he was like, you've got to keep the lion hungry, you know? Oh God. Imagine that's your justification for stealing money. I know. But Mike Tyson fought six times that year. That's true. Right. That's true. But what that is for some of those guys, that's what they need.

As soon as, because I was a big Conor guy, SPG, the lineage, we had the connection, you know. The connection. And as soon as Conor started getting rich, I was in, you know, as soon as John Jones got rich, all of us, I'm at home, let me guess, never gonna see you! I don't think that's what happened with John. With John, there was a bunch of other factors. True.

Lifestyle. Absolutely. And that's why that steeper fight is also exhilarating of like the traditional family guy in the gym, and then the other guy who's back in. The greatest psycho that's ever. And I love it, dude. When he went to Vegas to get his Hall of Fame induction, and just disappeared into the night.

I like the Aspenol. How many milligrams are those? Threes. Can I have one? Yeah, this is many milligrams are those? Three's. Can I have one? Yeah, this is Athletic Nicotine, another company. Somebody gave me an eight milligram yesterday. I was having a panic attack at 2 a.m. That's too ridiculous.

I was having a panic attack at 2 a.m. I've cut my consumption quite a bit. I like that fight. I think John Jones and Tom Aspenol is an interesting fight. But if we just have... Tom is a big, fast heavyweight. He's a fucking powerhouse man and he's big. He's big as shit. Big as shit.

If you look at fights where John has had difficulty, some of them have been like really elite strikers. Like he had some difficulty with Leota Machida before he got a hold of Leota. First round Machida. He had some difficulty with Dominic Reyes. Absolutely. Dominic Reyes, some people even thought he lost that fight. Absolutely.

Even Tiago Silva, no not Silva, no. Santos. Santos. That's the guy who would kick both his knees out. Yeah. But that was a split decision. Yeah, and even there, Tiago was, even though Tiago was hectic and temperamental in his

exchanges, not like a refined striker. But he's just super dangerous though. It creates problems for John still. That fucking sledgehammer that that dude has tattooed on his chest, that's for real. That's how hard he hits. That dude had a sledgehammer tattooed on his tits. It's amazing but that dude was scary. But also with Aspinel and Jones you know every time people say dude watching him and Cyril Gahn and all respect to Cyril Gahn but he never felt anything. It was it was a made-up guillotine even just on the cage he just was like check this shit out. Yeah but as long as he gets a hold of

your neck and he's doubling you up in that position where he can press his chest on your head, that's, with a guy like John, with his kind of squeeze, that's horrific. A guy like Cyril Gahn that's only been grappling for like five years, you're gonna get strangled. It's just that even with John Jones, the heavyweight division has always been a shallow division

due to the reason of people being just that size of humans, there's a very small percentage. Including heavyweight boxing? 100%. Always. Did you see that guy Boccoli knockout Jared Anderson? Holy shit, that Boccoli guy's terrible. Holy shit. Holy shit. I'd heard about him from sparring sessions. That was the first fight I saw. Yeah, me too. I watched the highlight reel of him on YouTube, but I'm not the biggest, like I don't know all the fighters that are fighting. I know a bunch, but I know like maybe 30% of boxing whereas compared to what I know about MMA.

So I had heard about this guy from an article saying that he, like no one wants to spar him. And then I was like, how come? And then I watched him fight and I'm like, oh, well that's why. Jesus Christ, he's 285 pounds. He's six foot six, 285 pounds, and takes a fucking tremendous shot.

And a lot of people thought, this kid, Jared Anderson, he's only 24, and he's still very talented. But look at this fucking- Jesus Christ. And the- Bro, that was round one. Okay, he dropped him in

round one but then he hit him with this sneaky ass uppercut like the fight on with pockets watch this uppercut look at this uppercut dude I mean my god this guy's like casually like beating the shit out of them this guy is so big and I heard like people are terrified to spar with this cat like they don't want to fucking spar with this dude You bring this guy into spar you and he's just beating the fuck out of you and he could take an insane shot He took like a three-piece there like it was nothing like it was nothing He just moves his head a little bit a little bit a little bit when he's getting hit he rolls it a little bit

But the really good boxers the guys who spar look at that uppercut that sneaky left uppercut He keeps hitting him with look at that when he hits him with Also, it wasn't exactly in and out of distance. You know I'm saying just tears right in front of you He was a parallel leg so he can hit with both arms. He's much bigger, right? He's 40 pounds bigger than this dude, and he's fucking dangerous shit, man. Jesus Look at that right hand man. How beautiful is it too? But it's like skillful. It's skillful fluid punching but from a tank. He's that panzer.

Yeah skillful, yeah exactly. And he's crazy knockout power and he's a vicious body puncher too man. I watched some of his highlights of some of his other fights tonight. I went down to rabbit hole. Vicious body puncher too. It's terrifying. Just walks walks towards you just beats your ass You can't hurt him crazy. It's like a member Francis Nugano, and who's that South African amazing? That's a no. He's not South Africa you thinking about Jarzino Rosenstrike Rosenstrike. Yeah, but I just stormed

No, it was literally not even a proper punch. It was Francis just walked towards him like this. Yeah, just winging Winging nuclear bombs and one of them caught him boom out cold and another one on the way down boom Yeah, well, that's the kind of power that Francis has Crazy it's crazy That's why I always love combat sports so much is that it's that there is there's a lot of sports like tennis where a lot of money plays a big role in the sport. It's a rich sport, so a lot of money, a lot

of business, a lot of politics enters into the sport. Soccer is like that, basketball is like lots of politics, but like combat sports is like a dude from yeah like a sand mine, right, just somewhere in the world, yep, to start KOing people and within five, I mean, Conor McGregor, a guy who's a fucking a pipe, not an engineer, but he was some blue collar job. There's also people that if they do something first and then get into fighting, like there's a lot of guys that are like power lifters, or cross fit guys, NFL players. I think a big one that's gonna be,

that we'll see is people, gymnastics. Because especially guys who do the rings and things like that, think about how much more arm dexterity and strength those guys have. Imagine that guy getting your neck, you know? Imagine a guy like that who's a black belt in jiu-jitsu with that kind of crazy strength to be able to hold yourself up in the air like that. I did maybe three, four years of gymnastics before I started. Did it help you? Oh, absolutely. That's when I started wrestling, because wrestlers, Greco-Roman wrestlers do gymnastics. They all do flips and shit. why that's when I started resting because wrestlers of Greco-Roman wrestlers do gymnastics

They all do flips and shit. So that's when I started watching them practice and I was doing gymnastics And I remember when I started jiu-jitsu I remember just even my get-ups from positions and my takes where I'm strong the positions where I could be strong Were much more different than a guy who's like in the gym all the time bench, right? Right, right, right. Yeah for for sure you have much better control your body yeah one of the things we found out a tenth planet was with Richie and Geo Martinez was break dancers oh absolutely that's gymnastics totally that's gymnastics totally when those guys started training where everybody was

like whoa and so Eddie's like started learning break dancing moves he's like Eddie's the best he'll like what do we got to do? What do we got to do? Let's do Show me how to breakdance because like those guys can do all that crazy shit where they can spin around on one hand Like so they can do like a lotus in the air They can do a handstand then they put their legs in the lotus position and they could stand on one hand and hop around I want yeah Yeah, bananas so that kind of control of your body and that kind of strength like directly Those guys really got very well. They also trained really hard, but they got very good at jujitsu very quick

Yeah, my party trick used to be a backflip at a nightclub No slippery shoes for you, bro. Whip it out. You can't have them slippery. Oh, yeah It was ones that when I see men wear those shoes of Mike. Do you hate traction dude with my? When I buy when I buy jeans when I go to stores the the the clerks will always think I'm like, do you hate traction? Dude, with my, when I buy jeans, when I go to stores, the clerks will always think I'm insane because I'll practice checking for a bit. Just check a kick. You know what you need?

You need a pair of Origin jeans. Oh, the stretchy ones? The most light, stretchy. Combat ready. They are basically pajamas. They're basically pajamas. They feel like sweatpants. But they look pretty though.

Yeah, let me show you. Go to the origin website. All American made, everything, threads, everything. Manufactured in America, everything 100%. Buttons, everything. All made in America. This is Jaco Willings company. I have the shirt sometimes too when I feel just a nice shirt, but it's tight. I go, what if I need to pull guard? They look like regular pants. They look like regular, yeah. If you if you need to pull guard in these dude you could fucking train in these I could literally kick the bag in these and I'm not bullshit. I'm not bullshit. You can throw head kicks in these they're like pajamas They look like jeans $129 that's a hundred and ten dollars outside of my budget. Yeah, I'll get you a pair Text me what your sizes. I'll get you a pair. They're the shit size is and I'll get you a pair. They're the shit.

But there's a bunch of different companies that sell stuff like that. I really like Barbell jeans. They do that. They sell those. I've heard of those. RevTown are my favorite. RevTown have like the best cut.

Those are the ones I wore in the special. Those are RevTown jeans. When I did the special. They're super stretchy. They're like, you can stretch out in them. But by far the most those are rev town jeans. They're super stretchy. You can stretch out in them. But by far the most comfortable are the origin ones. The origin ones they nailed it. Because it's the most loose.

The other ones are really free moving, but they're pants. Chuck Norris Action Jeans! 20 bucks, that's my budget! When I talked about that in my special people were like, what? Chuck Norris Action Jeans? They were a real thing when I was a kid. They had a gusset in the crotch. When I talked about that in my special people like what Chuck Norris action jeans like they were real They had a gusset in the crotch

Yeah, he's got the slippery shoes Chuck didn't give a fuck about traction Chuck wasn't worried about you trying to pivot on you son I used to work as a bouncer in a club where there was an outfit for the security too and dress shoes dress pants, red suspenders and like a fully like a tuck what's the tuxedo shirt like a collar shirt mm-hmm stiff not good but the whole time being like I'm gonna rip these pants as soon as I even do anything not only that but someone with a collar on if you have a collar if you

have like a shirt with a collar That is a weapon against you that's on your neck Like why do you have that that seems so crazy if you're in a position where you think you might have to defend yourself You should be wearing something that tears away from your body fairly easily around the upper body and the lower body It better give you some movement. Yeah, you can't have any time and you better have some goddamn traction on the bottom of your souls you can't have some slippery-ish. And the floor is a nightclub floor. Those are all fucking slippery doodle. All polished, slippery and beer and shit spilled everywhere. Every fight I would see would literally be the first guy throwing the punch whoopie! Yep. And they're all on the

ground. And then people are kicking you in the head with boots on yeah fuck that fuck that fuck that yeah fuck getting. Fuck that. Yeah. Fuck getting in fights. You know, that's the other thing. People always say, if I could fight, I'd fucking be fucking everybody up. Like, no, you wouldn't. You'd be dead. I punched one person in my lifetime working there. Just one person. Most of the time I would grab them, try to get them in a hole, they would calm down. And one time it was so good that this was this big fucking guy and he opened with a front kick. Oh no. A well hip over fat dude like 40 years old but a legit front kick. Yeah and immediately I knew I'm not gonna yeah I'm not gonna just grab him. That's a crazy

thing to open with. Yeah I grab I get a hold of that and I throw an overhand immediately, break my thumb to this day. Oh no. Look at my thumb, immediately, overhand straight to his temple and I feel all my hand. It's done. Did the guy get hurt? No. Not a dent. You know how he left the nightclub? How? He dragged his wife by her hair. Jesus. Like a, and left the club into the night probably a bunch of people up and then drag her away like let's go baby and she just rides them and then we went to court from that incident oh my god did you get sued or did you sue them I I think it was the nightclub suing him.

Not suing, but whatever settlement or, I mean it's still, people got hurt so it's still some sort of an investigation or something. But I had to testify in court and he had to do like a formal apology. They do that here too, right? Where you have to like stand up in court and do a formal. And he had to, me and the other bartenders working there, I was the only security working that night, of course. That's classic nightclub, 200 people only guy,

19 year old kid, cool. Yeah, great. With a bartender who's gay. So we had to be, and he had to apologize. He goes, gentlemen, I'm sorry. And you know how he showed up to court? He was just all swollen up, not from that fight. This was months later, so he's just living that lifestyle.

This is out there wrong. Yeah, he was just showed up in court and was like, I'm sorry, gentlemen, and just goes into the day. Maybe the cops beat his ass. Maybe but he just came to court and I remember all of us being like, Jesus Christ, this mongoloid. Some dudes like to fight. That's a very unfortunate thing that you enjoy. See that was another thing that when I went to all these self-defense classes I used to

go to Wong Wing Chun you know and there would be a master who said you know sparring is not real life combat. In real life combat I hurt you. I kill you you know and I'm like interesting but I would already go to Jiu Jitsu other than I'd be in my head like, you know this instructor shows up, he's got a belly button that has hair in it, and it's a little floppy, and I'm like,

I reckon if I'm low kick you, you're gonna feel something. And that was a big problem, you know, with self-defense courses, and me and Preet, the Jiu-Jitsu guy, we actually used to go to a couple of youth camps where there was troublesome youth who got into fights and we would do demonstrations where, do you know, in the 90s in Eastern Europe there was a rise in people getting stabbed because people would think that you take this course on, you take a course every Sunday

where they teach you somebody had to actually be done I remember my friend telling me like if you and attack me with a knife you're more dangerous to yourself than you are to me because he believed in the system and then all these retards would be in fucking Latvia or something and you're with your girl and some crackhead comes up at you and you just carved up here you go baby and you see your fucking blood on your hands and in that yeah and that's always what I learned from immediately I was like from those street from working as a bouncer is

that yeah I'm comfortable in a sparring environment mouth guard on and we're friends even though you're trying to take my head off I'm in a comfortable environment where I know if I go out, it's over. If I get hurt, if you hurt me with a middle kick. But you're not gonna get beaten to death. But there's men out there who go to bars, they get gacked up, and they just brawl. Those are men who are comfortable in the chaos of a bar.

Also, probably not making good decisions at any stage of their life That's what I'm saying is that even though I might be a jiu-jitsu guy. This guy's gonna bite my ear He's gonna you know, you don't want to fight people period So that's when I really put together all those self-defense and me and Britt would go to youth camps and we would he would like He would like he would like a crankle up a plastic bottle and he would be like, okay I already do all the cool moves that with that they all teach, you know, like hi Behind the back grab the knife, you know

And then he would just you know I would like grab his wrist and then he would just pull the knife away and he's like at that point you have a deep Cut in your arm You'd be fucked and he would look at those kids and go So you guys think that if you see your white flesh like a rose Open up in your palm. You think you're gonna look at that and go, okay fucking get the pose no, that's a Instant panic attack survival instinct, you know

I don't want to see if it's really bad. Is that a knife fight? I'm a very no No, it's almost describing exactly what you're saying like these guys This guy gets his leg cut really bad. Oh, I did see that don't show it to me. Don't show it. It's horrible It's horrible. It's horrible I've seen all of this kid and the kid pulls a knife out and slices his thigh open almost to the bone like where it opens Up like a flap do I gotta pee so bad. Oh, let's be right back. We'll be right back and So good And we're back. Doesn't it feel so good? There's a feeling that when you have to pee that like you have like 30% of your mind is available. 70% is like don't piss your pants.

And you're talking about wrist locks. I'm like right. Gotta get to go. I can't take it. I had to pee too but I was just like I'm gonna piss my pants on this. We did it. We held it together. We held it together. We held it together.

Hey, thank you for being there Saturday night. It was a lot of fun. Oh. And Friday night too. By the way, I have to say, dude, watching you do that live special is amazing to just watch you. Dude, me and Ron White were in the green room when you were on stage and we were like, thank God, we're just chilling. You know, in common... Because it's scary. It's scary. Yeah. stage and we were like thank god we're just chilling. You know in comedy... It's scary, it's scary, yeah.

But then again and here's another point that I have to say that do you know how crazy it is that you have okay one of the biggest podcasts in the world but you're an actual practitioner of an art form that only only 10 years ago was not even stand-up comedy wasn't even the main form of comedy. There was sketch comedy, improv. Movies. Movies. Stand-up was a subsidiary art form of comedy, like a small genre.

Right. And that you, with now your platform and your voice, are a practitioner. You could, this is how lucky we as comedians are to have a guy who's an actual practicing comedian. You could also be like a famous guy and just live in the shadows, show up at a club, every two months be a superstar, do a, because you're talented and funny enough, do a good set. You know, people go home, that was great, that was Joe Rogan, because he saw, because

people come out to see you, they'll have a good experience. But you're a guy, you're writing bits, you're like coming to the club, your own club of course, you're coming to the club, and you're writing, you're working on it, you're fixing it, and how lucky we are to have a guy who's an actual you could be like a piece of shit You could We would never been able to do what we're doing and what we're doing is really good for me, too it's one of the reasons why like I Think we're all benefiting greatly from that place. They're all benefiting from the vibe of it

Nobody's benefited more than me. Me? I've benefited more than you. Yeah, we're both benefiting. It's all good, dude. It's all for everybody. We're all getting something out of it, and we're all getting something in it together too.

That's the cool part about it. We're all like, you know, Asan always says that. That's one of the things that door guys say. When one of them gets a gig, they say, we up. Dude, they're so supportive. Cause I also did, I auditioned for Adam. I auditioned for Adam. I got into the club the, the, the like proper way. I wasn't some fucking male guy. Nobody knew who you were. Yeah. And whenever I get some opportunity like this right now, they're all like so cheering for me, you know

It's very supportive because they also know that that this all the stuff that's happening to you can happen to them all the stuff That's happening right now to William Montgomery could happen to you amazing all the stuff That's happening to David Lucas and Cam Patterson and all these guys these Hans Kim Hans Kim selling out weekends everywhere. He's killing it and he's doing great. His act is tight. He's got some funny shit, man He's got some funny shit. He works at it. That kid has spreadsheets and shit. He's going over his material on fucking Google Docs You know, so dude every fucking week. There's another guy in that club that I'm like, yep this and then yeah, dude, Tyler Fisher Yep. Oh my god. He's hilarious, bro That bit he does about being a cop for the pedos, bro

How funny is that? How funny is that? I showed it to the door guys I filmed myself behind the curtain at Fatman having to follow Tyler I feel my own face and the applause is that he's getting and me being like this And I always riff with Tyler go hey,, Hey Tyler, how about we keep five characters today? He has a focus, he has characters, impressions. He goes to the crowd, he jumps ... he uses the stage, liners, jokes, anecdotes, callbacks. Everything is tight. Yeah, it's tight and he's got so much energy, enthusiasm, and that guy was having a hard time. He was telling the podcast that he got dropped by his agent because they couldn't handle any

more white straight men like you don't think did you guys are you in the talent business you don't see how talented that fucking guy is but you know it's like this weird thing that we're all a part of well I was dude just I mean think of my storyline eighth of December I'm in London the UK I went to just, I mean, think of my storyline. On the 8th of December, I'm in London, the UK. I went to London a couple of years ago, had a great time because I was doing the open mic circuit. But this time I went back as a headliner wanting to maybe move up in the industry.

Two months, nothing's happening. Struggling, just because I went to New York same thing it was just because I didn't really have a connection nobody really knew me and I'm also not a guy who's great at net like the showing up at the park I don't do coke I don't I hang but I only talk bits so and I would go to like let's say a New York like a comedy seller and there's like 20 guys with backpacks and tripods all waiting to talk to the manager. And when I see that, I always feel like, I don't want to be another asshole.

Hello, I'm the guy. So I just felt like, on every audition I had, when you audition in London, that's also good shout out to Adam Eaglet Do you know how crazy that is that he watches Sunday Monday? He watches Everybody you can be on the street a guy and you get to be in front of the probably the most Important talent scout and he watches them and he gives you and if you do a good job he'll give you a spot. And he's really good at it.

He's really good at it. He really understands comedy. He understands comedy. He gets it. He sees voices. He wants he were he gives everybody a shot. He loves it. He was on a show with Norm MacDonald.

They were co-hosts. Insane. His best friend. Yeah. Yeah. Adam's awesome. And he was one of the first resource, he was the first guy that I got when I was deciding to do this. He was number one.

So I remember when Sam, like, and then, yeah, so 8th of December, I fly over to Austin on 9th of December, nothing's going on. Sam Talent is in town, just by accident in Austin, and he came to Estonia to visit me. We only talked online before that and he goes, yeah sure I'll get you a spot but I didn't want to bother him so I'm still signing up outside and then Sam goes, where are you? Adam's looking for you and I go, oh shit I go to the security you know the Avengers are out there. I go like hey guys and they're all here with my accent. They're like, what the fuck?

Yeah, you got to get somebody. Sam comes out. I do my set. And even before my set, I see Adam Eaget. And I'm like, oh, that's the Adam Eaget. Because I read about him in, no, Brody Stevens, in his special, always says Adam Eaget like seven times. So I remember that name.

Adam Eaget. Adam Eaget trying to hold me down. This is my shot! And he would and he's back there and I'm like, oh shit, he actually, dude, I'm 12 years into this and to see a talent manager or scout or whatever to actually watch your set is actually rare. Well, the story with me and Adam is Adam was he used to work at the Tempe Improv and that's why I met him and he was always a great guy and then he came over to LA and started working at the Comedy Store

when I had left. So I had left after the Carlos Mencia thing I was gone for seven years so I was doing the Improv I was doing the improv, I was doing the ice house, I was doing other clubs. And so then he came and met me, I think it was like 2014, or yeah, 2014. So seven years after 2007 now. And I was like, come on, I'm the talent coordinator now, they got rid of the other guy. And I was like, oh, I don't know, man, I don't know if I wanna go back.

It's just like, I just felt so fucked over. The whole thing was so gross. It was like fuck that place. But then Ari was doing a special there So I was here. Yeah, I knew I had been there. So I had to go back So I went back Monday night before Ari or whatever night Roast battle was at and I sat in the audience at roast battle. It was insane. It was insane And I sat in the audience at roast battle. It was insane. It was insane Jeff Ross said this is like my first time at the club in seven years and like it was that was a cool feeling like to Be like I felt comfortable there again, and then I watched Ari's I have to be there for Ari. I mean this is not just Ari's first big special on Comedy Central, but it's also Ari, my friend, who I knew who was a doorman.

Okay, when I was on, I guess I was on either news radio or Fear Factor, I don't know what TV show I was on at the time I met Ari, it might've been Fear Factor. But like all of a sudden I'm hanging out with this kid, this young kid just starting out, and then we become friends and he goes on the road with me and we work together, we do podcasts together, and then we become friends, and he goes on the road with me, and we work together, we do podcasts together,

and then all of a sudden, all these years later, he's got his own fucking Comedy Central special, and he's got his own Comedy Central TV show, which is one of the reasons why they gave him a special, and he's filming it in the fucking OR. I'm like, I have to be there. I had to be there.

And so then I came back. And so then I was there all the time. Then I just started going, like, every so then I was there all the time. Then I just started going like every day. I was there all the time. I was just- Well yeah, we heard about it on the podcast all the time. I just went back full on. And then Adam and I started talking.

And one of the things we started talking, I was like, what do you want? Do you want to do, he felt like a little bit underpaid and there's a lot, I go, what do you want to do? Like what would be the ideal way to open up a club? And we would start talking about what to do. We'd start talking about what is really important. What's really important is like a talent coordinator

is a lot of times it's just the manager picking headliners to come in for the weekend. Or some insane girlfriend of the owner. Yeah, so this is the difference. The difference is I think there's probably different kinds of classifications for what kind of clubs they are. Our club is a development club. Absolutely. It's not just a club for great headliners like when Colin Quinn is here or Dice is here. It's a club for developing. So we said, okay, how many nights a week should we

have open mic night? And we said two. let's do Sunday and Monday. So two nights, full open mic night. And then it was Adam's idea to have DOR people audition with their act. And I was like, you know what? DOR guys fucked off so much at the comedy store. They were so bad at doing certain things. They were scamming money and getting people to bribe them, which we've had that too.

But that's normal, right? You got it yeah these are comedians dude yeah well wow people but the door people at the mothership are so much better than any of the door people at the comedy store and I think part of it is because there is this ethic there that we're all the same thing we're all together we're all the same we all hang out together at mincy's bar we're all the same thing. We're all together. We're all the same We're all hanging out together at mincey's bar We're all the exact same thing just some of us been doing it 30 years Some of us been doing it 12 years some of us doing it five years some of us Moved here because they did a few open mic nights is the only thing they ever loved in their life

It's the only thing they ever wanted to do in their life They're like goddamn it I want to be in Austin and then they moved there and they got a job there. And their act is what gets them the job. And if you, you could string together a few minutes and you could show that you could get those sparks going and make a little campfire. Okay. Let's see how much better you get at making campfires. Let's see. Let's see what you can do. And that, that's the difference between that club and everywhere else. And it all goes all the way up to the very top, whether it's Shane or Tony or anybody who's working on their act and work on new stuff

You see them you see Bryan Simpson constantly Ron White. He's ever been He's a thousand years old dude Ron White was born before the worst feet people did people still had fins These an animal he's better than he's ever been before. Yeah, we were driving to your special in San Antonio. He picked me up from my house and I'm like, I'm in the car with Ron White and he's just talking about DMT doing 90 miles an hour all the way sideways. He's like, all right, there's another world out there. I'm like, we're doing 90 in this one though. Ron's in the simulation for sure. But also like I was saying about you, he also, you might think that this guy will come to the club and be a superstar. No, he comes in and works on his act, talks about bits. Yeah, we hang

out. Having a panic attack just like I am. And he loves when a bit bombs, he comes back, well that fucking didn't work at all. At all. He's like trying to explain to us, explain to us why this bit bombed. He comes to the agree with something, he goes, that fucking sucked. Yeah, they weren't my favorite. But he was, he's two things. One, he's the reason why I moved here,

because he was the first guy. He was here before the pandemic. But he's from Texas. Yes, so he moved here, like I was like, where he been? Cause I knew he still had his house in Beverly Hills. I'm gonna get rid of my house in Beverly Hills I'm gonna live down here in Texas. And so he He said it was center of the country. You could travel anywhere and I was like damn maybe but I'm like I can't live there Cuz I was always wanting to get the fuck out of LA but I can't leave the store But once they shut the store down, I was like, oh

All right. What the fuck am I LA but I can't leave the store but once they shut the store down I was like oh all right what the fuck am I here for the crime for the store movies yeah I don't want my youngest kids to grow up in this place it seems like it's getting worse yeah I also felt like there's better places to be and so when we all came out here together it's like we all especially like when when we first started talking about the developing of the club, the whole idea was like, let's do it our way. Let's do it the right way.

As opposed to doing it as a business, let's do it as like, what are you trying to do? You're just trying to make the best club possible. OK, well then do that. And then the business stuff, put that aside. You got to stop stop don't think about maximizing profits because there's only one shareholder so let's just do it the right way and the right way is the comedians get most of the money the

right way is you bring the best people in the right way is you develop talent the right way is you have a show like kill toning that sets his tone for the the entire comedy universe it sets the tone and then entire comedy universe. It sets the tone. And then guys like you can get on that stage, crack some fucking great bits, and then bam. It's crazy. You're off to the races. And I kind of feel like, because I'm a big book guy,

I've read everything about the comedy story, everything about the history of the industry, late night wars, David Letterman moving, Johnny Carson moving from New York to the Burbank, okay, I know everything. And I kind of feel like I'm living the gold rush that was in the 80s and 90s in Comedy Store. I kind of feel like I'm living that right now. This one's crazier.

Well, yeah. This one's crazier, because this one people are doing arenas. I mean, we're doing Kill Tony this weekend in Madison Square Garden. There's two nights, two nights in New York City. Sold out Madison Square Garden. This is Tony's and Red Band's coming out party. This is the big deal. This is the big deal. They sold this out quick.

Quick. And it's a beautiful thing to see. It's a beautiful thing to see everybody flourishing. And this idea that we had actually work. It's actually coming to fruition. Amazing, yeah. It's crazy, yeah. And to have you guys, to have you, Tony and Ron there when I was filming that thing also.

So the green room was just like regular green room. Regular ass green room. Right? So we're used to hanging out and having fun and laughing, being fun and just like being silly together. So we're all being silly, so I was just super loose. But then also there was that moment where me and you were in your green room

and both of us were in our notebooks for about 20 minutes, just in silence. And I remember after thinking like, holy shit, see this is what it's all about. Yeah. We're just writing bits and just. You gotta work at it, man. And sometimes we don't, you know, sometimes we don don't and one of the things that really made me think

A lot about this the live things like first of all I said no when my manager called me said you want to do a lot Especially that fuck that I don't do that and then I was house I was got off the phone with her I was driving and I was like why does I know like why is such a pussy? Oh, cuz you're scared you're scared of doing it live And I was like oh why you scared to do that? Like what is it about? You do everything live? You could do UFC live Podcasts are essentially they've you know, they're recorded but you just you're just freewheeling, right? So why can't you do that live like just prepare better just prepare more. So I was preparing way more Oh, yeah watching you develop that hour was insane. You were working. Dude also I've never seen you off. I've seen you in the green room maybe in a

different mood than the other night. Dude when you go on stage it's the rock city every fucking night. It's crazy to watch. Well I've just been preparing this set for quite a while. You know I thought I was gonna do a special in August of 2020. That was the plan because I had done a 2018 so I did 2016 was triggered and then my next Netflix special was 2018 That was strange times and I was gonna do one in 2020 and call it sacred clown And it was based on the Lakota Hayoka was the the person in the tribe that made fun of everything because we couldn't make fun of anything. It was bullshit

They had like a spiritual person in their tribe. What was their goal was to made fun of everything, because if you couldn't make fun of anything, it was bullshit. They had like a spiritual person in their tribe, their goal was to make fun of everything. It was a sacred clown. And so I was like, that's perfect, because that's what it is. You're just talking shit and making fun of things, and you should be able to do that about everything, and everything you can't make fun of is most likely bullshit. Well, that's your comedy club, dude. I love that you called your comedy rooms after the two nuclear bombs But that already shows there's no rules. There's no rules. It's over and I was worried about that at first

I was like God is this what that's perfect. That's letting you know there are no rules You know one of the reasons why I decided to definitely call it that why because I told it to Louis CK anyway I go that's it. It has time be that. And also it's part of UFO folklore. One of the main reasons why I wanted to have them, because I knew I had two rooms and I knew there was two bombs, and it was after those two nuclear bombs were dropped that they started Kenneth Arnold had his sightings, Roswell, New Mexico had that big sighting, like all the big events of UFO folklore happen after the bomb. And the idea is that these interdimensional beings,

these are- They go, okay, these fucking crazy territorial apes have now developed nuclear bombs. This could be very dangerous. Because if these idiots arm themselves, as we have right now, to the point where they can blow up the whole world, like many, many times over, they might do it let's let's like let's make sure everything's cool

and so that's when all the UFOs started so for the comedy mothership with this UFO based thing we kinda had to have those as the name because that's what that's what sends out the signal yeah those bombs fat man and little boy those bombs this that's what if you believe and I love to believe I don't 100% believe but I kinda love to believe, I don't 100% believe, but I kind of love to believe, I love to at least talk about it.

If you believe that we were visited multiple times by alien life, a lot of it happened after 1947, makes sense. Well, yeah, if the universe is infinite and there's a higher species out there, you would look at Earth and you'd be interested. 100%. And then, who knows what happened in Roswell, so the bombs were 45, Roswell was 47. out there you would look at earth and you'd be interested 100% and then who knows what happened in Roswell was so the bombs were 45 Roswell was 47 who knows what really happened at Roswell but they do know that whatever they did

they took that wreckage and they flew it in two separate jets to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base because they didn't one of the jets went down they wanted to make sure they still had the wreckage. They put it in two different jets. That's how important this shit was. Whatever the fuck it was. Bob, Bob, Bob. Bob Azar. Who had that crazy story? I just remember one story where he told that there were like multiple doors open and for an, like, it was an act because they were separate or something where he was working on it. And by accident he like saw the spaceship like through the doors. And I remember being like, holy shit.

Well, he saw, when he went in to see it for the first time it had an American flag sticker on it. And his first inclination was, oh, this is why people keep seeing these things. These are ours. But then the way it's described, now, who knows if it's true. Yeah, who knows?

Okay, but I love to believe it is. And the way he describes it is like, they essentially brought him in and said, tell me what this is. Figure this out. How does this work? And they really never did. They kind of got a working understanding of it. But it based on some element that was only theoretical at the time now been proven by one of the particle colliders. They created this particle. Hydron particle collider, right? Yeah. The one in Switzerland? Yeah, that's where it is, right?

That's the one. Mm-hmm. Creating black holes, huh? Yeah, that's the one they're worried about. Cool, bro. It's gonna make a black hole that shoots through here. I remember I did like mushrooms for the first time and I started reading about it.

I'm like, great. They're fucking. Those super nerds are gonna kill us all. But they did discover that this element that Bob Lazar theorized exists. But then what I've heard is like they already knew that that was going to be an element. So him saying that there's a lot of things like the Higgs boson, there's a lot of things that they knew existed but they needed to get proof of it through the particle colliders.

And so a lot of people aren't that impressed with that. But he said they had a stable isotope. They had a stable version of this element and this is what powered this generator. And this stable version of this element would sit inside of this container and it would be bombarded with radiation and it would somehow or another manipulate gravity. It's the wildest story ever, the most fun story ever. But said they had they were trying for years to try to figure out how to reproduce it And they they they couldn't figure out how it worked They did a bunch of different things one guy died apparently trying to cut into it. Holy shit

Yeah, that was a guy before him apparently Yeah, then and then there was the wackiest thing of all that we talked about this yesterday They said that his they had a big thing on religion and one this yesterday, that they said that they had a big thing on religion. And one of the things that they said that they look at us as containers. That religion was here so that we don't damage what's inside the container. The religion was put here to give people rules

and regulations so they don't destroy their souls. So they're just harvesting our souls and making sure our souls don't go rotten. Because we would be just sucking and fucking and sucking. Right, no, and imagine that. If that's what happens, that's how they trick you into downloading your brain into a computer. That's it, that's the end result.

They're just trying to get that soul. And then you are just trapped and that's what hell really is. Just stuck on a hard drive with nothing there. Imagine living your whole life being paralyzed but you don't need food or water But you're lying on the floor of an empty an empty office building That's that's you inside a computer for in the void And they don't download anybody else on your hard drive either in the because they have other people on that hard drive

It'll ruin the hard drive. We can't have your code my code mixing together. Oh, come on They have other people on that hard drive. It'll ruin the hard drive. We can't have your code my code mixing together. Oh, come on Yeah, we're in a weird time my brother we're in a weird time because The reason why comedy as you were saying earlier is like stand this this kind of comedy is like the most prevalent comedy Because the only one you could actually be free and do you can't make Tropic Thunder anymore You can't make you know, there's there's no there'll be a movie. You can't make, you know, there's a lot. There'll be a movie. It's a pendulum, you know. Culture is always a pendulum. There'll be some dude. There'll be the new Andrew Dice Clay. There'll be the new Tropic Thunder. There'll be the new Superbad. I hope so. Yeah, 100%. Because as soon as something is like

51% of popular opinion, the 49% becomes cool, the rebellion comes cool. Yeah, but it won't even be popular opinion. The popular opinion is almost 100% that they would want tropics on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Real popular opinion amongst people who go to see those films, let me say it that way.

Because popular opinion amongst people who don't go see super bad, what difference does it make? But the people that do go see those movies and do enjoy those movies would go to see one right now, most of them. But there's always, but yeah, and that's why I always, there's so much fun and rebellion and breaking the rules. And the more I always think, the stronger a line is, the more power you have of crossing it, you know? Right, right, right. Also, I just don't think the line is real. I think the line is a small,

very vocal minority of people, and the majority of people know what jokes are. Yeah. But you can't finance these things anymore. But then again, if it's all no rules and no like, if you don't get a reaction, then it doesn't have any power, you know? It's like when Tony, we were just't get the reaction, then it doesn't have any power. It's like when Tony, we were just talking in the green room, when Tony Hinchcliffe said faggot on Netflix at the Tom Brady roast.

That's like, if you're a culture nerd, that's like a cultural moment. Right, we call him a Confederate fag. Yeah, because he's saying something that unanimously five years ago was the line. Yeah. But now... The lines moved.

It hasn't even moved, but people dance around the line and gives it power. Because if you create a line, you're gonna create people who gonna dance around it, give them... Yeah, but no, they don't... we didn't agree to the line. That's why... but the thing is like that line only existed in corporate controlled media and existed in like virtue signaling internet people. That's the power of the release. But that line didn't exist amongst friends. That's why. Of the record talk? Yeah. Real shit talk, that line never existed. Retard was on the table. Oh, Retard has never left the table. Never left the table. Especially in quiet company when you're alone. What's

going on with your brother, dude? Fucking retarded. I can't I can't talk to him. He doesn't listen. That's normal talk normal talk We know what that means and the the idea that we're supposed to back off these words because a select Minority of very vocal people who are like super sensitive and probably medicated like no No, don't listen like no don't watch that movie no don't go to see that stand-up you don't have to like everything there's a lot I don't like that other people love and guess what I'm fine with that I like it I like the fact there's a variety of different human beings it's a

fun part of being a human yeah it's fun's fun. Yeah. And you know, that's the beauty of true diversity. You know, like one of the things that's great about the club is the lineup is actually very diverse, but not because we wanted it to be diverse. We wanted people who are really good. Killers. And they come in all fucking sizes and shapes. They come in.

Warrior, cameraman.. Yeah fat gay guys small fucking porn addicts This ever this they're all over the place all over the they're all over the place everybody's different and that's good That's good for everybody and it's like we speak this language. We're here for this art form Everything else is fine. Like you just be a nice person be nice to to us, we're nice to you, we're nice to each other. We're all going to grow from this experience. We're all going to be better people because of this. We're all going to be better members of a community. We're creating a community.

Also, there are nights at the Little Boy because of the yonder banks and stuff. I'll say some stuff that I know is not leaving this room. And the release you see in the people where they're laughing so hard. There's like a 40 year old guy with his wife and he's like, I can't believe this European fuck is saying this is not okay. But that's so fun. But then there's a lot of people that are laughing really hard. That's why he's also laughing because it's not okay, but it is okay. It is okay here

But it should be okay everywhere. It's okay in private company, right? Oh, absolutely The record off the record talk. Yeah, but okay and this art form requires that you do that It does it doesn't require you have to do it There's guys like, you know Brian Regan who are brilliant Jim Gaffigan brilliant get Gaffigan's brilliant you never have to worry about him offend unless he reads Twitter you never have to worry about him offending you right his stuff is perfect example Nate's genius genius brilliant you talk about table squeaky clean yeah though those guys have always existed and those guys are us too it's's fine. It's like that. No one

Dislikes Sebastian, you know, everyone loves Sebastian. He was just at the club last night. Yeah, I brought him up amazing He's the best the best the nicest guy too. I love him. Talks about his Mole infestation and how he likes to cook. This is how I cook a steak He's awesome, I honestly just got a message for one of my friends They said they saw him at the club last night and he was brilliant But like the point is like everybody's different. That's great. That's great Boy girl gay straight everybody. There's a bunch. All you have to do is be good That's it and you don't get any brownie points for your group if you're not good

Okay, if you want to come on just because you're this or that, guess what? There's no room for that. You have to be good. All the festivals, comedy festivals, I was a big festival circle because that was where you could get up back in the day. Australia, Edinburgh, JFL, they're all falling apart because they didn't listen to the ripples of laughter. Well, they're doing a different thing. Here's the problem. The people that are doing the festival themselves are not usually like working stand-up comedians. Yeah.

Right, so they're people that exist in the ecosystem that aren't creating the thing, right? So they know what they like, they might know what they, and they might also apply their own personal politics to their decisions about what kind of comedy they want to see. It's also, is it their personal politics or is it the politics that they think people are going to gravitate to, you know? I think it's both because I think primarily in show business people are indoctrinated

into the cult of leftism. It's almost universal in show business except for a lot of musicians that kind of keep it undercover. But a lot of actors have to keep it undercover, too. Conservative actors just keep their mouth shut. Like Chris Pratt type dudes, they get in trouble every time we talk about Jesus. John Cena talking in Chinese. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, that was different. That was a little bit of an apology. I didn't do that bit in my act. But the whole thing about it is that you know You've got to let people express themselves. However. They are However, whatever whatever. What are you you know Tyler Fisher is very different than David Lucas, right? David Lucas is very different than Ron White Yeah, everyone has to be able to express themselves in whatever form they find themselves in going through this life the best possible way they can.

That's what we're setting out to do. But that's like that jazz thing that I was talking about is the resonation of the feelings of the story that you're expressing that people gravitate to. And when you start putting a bullshit agenda out there, I feel it. I see it. 100%. I see it. And that the anti-bullshit is that green room.

Because the green room is so fun that you go on stage from there With those good vibes like I oftentimes I'm like sad that I have to shut my phone off You know I'm like say I gotta go guys And I'm sad that I have to leave our fun clubhouse. I have to go on stage I'm not really I want to continue the conversation. I know I'm gonna have a great time on stage I'm looking forward to it, but I want to continue the conversation. I know I'm going to have a great time on stage. I'm looking forward to it, but I want to continue the conversation. You know, and then having you guys in the green room with me

when I filmed the special was huge, man. It was huge. Because it really was like, I always feel this like, I went camping with Brian Callan once. We went to, we went on a deer hunt. And I was like, dude, this is going to be crazy. We're going to go to Montana. It's going to be freezing.

It's going to be five degrees outside. five degrees outside gonna be sleeping on the frozen ground We're gonna go hunt some mule deer in the mountains won't do it He's like fuck yeah, so we did it But I was like if you and I are together it'll be fun no matter where we are like Brian And I could be hanging out in some shitty motel in the middle of Saskatchewan just laughing our asses off just Because we're friends and we've been forever, and so we can have fun together. So no matter how chaotic the situation is, when you have friends with you,

it changes what the situation is. So even though that was a live show in front of, who knows how many fucking people watching live on Netflix, I was hanging out with you guys. It was normal, normal show. So I just kept myself in normal show mind, and just went on stage It was very cool to learn like watch you from the side and be like, yeah

You're just doing another set and also you're you were so well prepared that you were like the perfect guy to do that live special You know, you've got to prepare in a different way. It's like There's a thing about archery. Okay, like if you say if you're proficient at 50 yards, you can hit a bullseye on a regular basis at 50 yards. You really should be hunting at about 25 yards. Because at 25 yards, you're shaking, you got adrenaline, there's anxiety, maybe this is a new thing, you know, there's a wild hog moving 50 yards away from you and you're drawing on it,

like, oh my God, is this really happening? Like, you probably shouldn't be shooting at 50 yards. If you wanna shoot at 50 yards, you should be really proficient at 100 yards and you should have a bunch of shots already under your belt so that you are accustomed to this experience. So with comedy, I was like, okay, I know I've done a bunch of live shows,

but I can't just go up on stage like this is a regular live show. Like I've done a bunch of shows in front of a live audience. This is gonna be a way different pressure. And if I don't agree to that in my mind, and if I don't address that in my mind, and over-prepare, you let that tiny window of doubt open, and that the little demon of doubt will sneak in and steal your confidence and fuck with your head and give you anxiety and make you start thinking about what if you bomb? What if you forget the jokes? What if you forget what place you're at? What if you forget the line? What if you forget the punch? What about that new punch line?'re gonna do it yeah get it ah You could mind fuck yourself, or you could just super over prepare so I super over prepared

Yeah, I listened to recordings. I watched videos. I wrote for like I Prepared for like five hours the day of the show. I never left my computer. That's how I always feel about writing and Writing during the day about comedies people always go go like, oh, you just write an act. And I go, to be honest, 99% of the shit I write during the day doesn't end up actually working on stage. Most bits still click on stage. But I can't, I have to give an energy out to the universe that listen, I'm preparing for this,

just so I know that I'm ready, you know, when I go on stage. And even though you can't exactly say that I'm writing the perfect set and it's gonna go as I wrote it, but the energy that I put out in the universe is that I'm preparing. Yeah, it's also, that's not the process.

The process is you write it exactly as you're going to say it, because you really need to say it in front of an audience to know how to say it. Exactly you just say hear it for yourself too and you need to actually The whole thing is it's a framework for you being in the moment talking about that thing Right and if you can like if you're gonna set that framework up well on piece of paper or on a computer screen That's great, but then you review it and then you keep tweaking it and you keep fucking with it But also if I don't write I just feel like I'm why am I not working hard at this right and that gives me

anxiety of being like Because I remember that first lesson in martial arts that I had the first lesson in my life I we have compulsory military service in Estonia, which I didn't do I regret it The only reason I didn't do it is I did sports, and guys who went to do the military service, they ate shit food, got back injuries, came back and they lost a year in their athletic life and a year, as you know, in an athletic version. That's huge. So I didn't do that. I regretted that. But the first lesson I got through martial arts was that why I wasn't successful in mixed martial arts wasn't because I'm physically not, I wasn't talented. But the reason I wasn't successful was because I always thought about

I want to deacquilate. I wanted to be the cool guy who gets the head kick, kisses the girl and is cool. You didn't want to deliver. During like Jiu Jitsu classes when Preet is talking about armbar defense, I'd be daydreaming about what song am I going to come out to. That's hilarious. You're a showman. And I would go, it's just boring dude, I want to go spar. So I would go to Thai boxing clubs and spar and have fun with my friends I would build a fake ring in our gym and we would do all the cool stuff that we wanted to do and then I remember maybe a year later there was this there was a there's a nerdy guy who

started the same year as me no nerdy class not physically not gifted at all a year later, I spar with him and this fucking nerd is fucking me up with a jab. But that's because he had mad time. We always call in wrestling this expression called mad time. Sure. Oh, you can be amazing and talented and a fucking beast, but if I do 400 hours and you do 22, no matter, at the end of the day, I'm gonna get you, because I have mad time. And that's especially with jujitsu.

Especially. But it's also how much energy are you putting towards a thing? Exactly. That's really what it is. And it wasn't that, and that's what I learned about the whole thing. I was like, yeah, he was putting energy into the universe and committing to something yeah and putting that out there and even though it's also you're looking for a result and he's involved in the process you have

to trust the process that's the process of writing exactly and this is one thing that I tell comics all the time they always say I write on stage my bro I do too I do too we all do especially when you do bottom of the barrel you always write on stage you're fucking around bro I do too. I do too. We all do. Especially when you do bottom of the barrel, you always write on stage. You're fucking around. I fuck around all the time. It's fun to fuck around. Most of my bits come like this. Sometimes they do, but also you can write. Yeah. This doesn't hurt you to write. It doesn't hurt you. No, and me preparing for this live special made me really concentrate on like tightening up segues. I didn't want anything to be clunky. I wanted to like really make sure

that I had it fuckin' polished down. Jerry Seinfeld had a great quote where he goes like, that a comedian told him, yeah, write on stage. He said, I'll see you in 20 years. Bleh. Look, you can write on stage. There was a great article that was out that was about Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock.

I think it was in Fortune magazine. See if you can find it. But it was essentially they were saying, Chris Rock said this best, the guy was going, you know, what do you do during the day? He goes, I don't do nothing, but I do every open mics every night. And he said, during the day is where you make your money. At night is when you collect it. Wow. Look at that. You collect your money at night, but you make it during the day. So true. Because the performance is just a byproduct. It. Look at that. You collect your money at night, but you make it during the day. So true.

Because the performance is just a byproduct. It's a great article, and it's the perfect mindset, especially coming from a guy like Chris, who's put out bigger and blacker, and was the other one that was like, is two great ones when he first came. And then fuck.

What was the other one? Bring the pain bring the pain those two are some of the greatest comedy specials in the history of the world in the history And that guy man like listen to him whatever the fuck yes He used to come to the comic store, and he had a very unique strategy He would come to the comic store with premises and like ideas that he had but he did not have them worked out and he would just eat shit like try to eat like try like let it be like let there be like some blank spots let there be some dead air and force himself to come up with the funny and find the funny and then you'd see it revised the next night and he see that was what they said about prior theyryor would show up at Tuesday with a bunch of ideas for bits and they would bomb. And then on Wednesday they might bomb a little less.

And then on Thursday they would start kicking. And then Friday came along and he was in the maid room murdering with some shit that he came up with on Tuesday. But that's because those guys aren't scared to stare down the bull. Right, right. Because a lot of guys get their first 20. And they're so scared of letting it go because it was so hard.

So hard. And it's hard. People always say, oh, it's hard to be an open mic'er. No, bro, it's hard to be Chris Rock. It's hard to be an open mic'er too. No, it is, but what I mean is that. All of it's hard. It may be harder to be an open mic'er because you don't know what the path is. Like you don't even know how to get funny. But what I mean by that is that the open mic'er,

how many guys did, when you started coming, how many guys did you know who were so much funnier than you just because they played poker without chips on the table, they would show up on their terms, go on on their favorite room, do their favorite material, they would have a couple of drinks, but they would then disappear. And then when they get the weekend and it's Thursday, you gotta be funny at 8 o'clock, Friday you gotta be funny at 7 and 10, they would kind of fall apart because they're only playing poker by their rules when they're comfortable with their friends in their favorite rooms. But can you be a professional

five times a week? Also when you feel uncomfortable going to this new place and then you know you have to do a long time, do you have the stamina to keep that party mind going on for 45-50 minutes? A lot of free balling. Free balling is fine if you're doing 15 minutes absolutely you know you don't worry about it yeah yeah that's what I'm saying it's on your terms it's different thing it's on your terms you know yeah well I think if you're gonna prepare for a special you have to do a lot of hours I don't really think you could get away with unless

you're a guy who does a lot of non sequiturs maybe you could piece together like three or four sets and then put them together for one night because if you know how they go you could do that like if you're working in New York City but there's no substitute for those long ass sets man. Yeah absolutely and there's different types of comedians that have a different process absolutely there's no right way of doing it but are you staring down the bull of your own fears? You know, right? Whereas some guys maybe might not benefit from writing during the day I get that but are you maybe Overlooking some no, no, no, everybody benefits. Yeah, that's what I think. I don't believe that I don't believe that I believe even the greats even the greats who don't do it if they did it

They'd be even better and I think that because of my own personal experience with with writing a lot Absolutely when I started I remember that was exactly the murderers around me who were a bit ahead of me. During the day, they would all have these talks and they would all be like, what is the path and the energy and what is the comedy? What is it? But the whole time, I'm just writing basic, hacky anecdotes. Because I'm fucking two years in, of course, writing basic, hacky anecdotes, because I'm fucking two years in of course I'm writing basic hacky anecdotes. But I remember from sports, because they all came from either fucking bars or artistic

or theater. I came from sports where it's like, no, no, show up for practice. I don't give a fuck if it's your off day. Listen, if your leg hurts, don't kick as hard, but just be there. Be cognitively in the process. You're putting energy into the universe and the way the universe has always worked is if you put energy out, something's coming back. There's never, I've never known a comedian who has been working hard, honestly, for 10 years and hasn't made it. I've never known a guy. If they have it, if they have the spark. But there have been some people that somehow or another

snuck through in some bizarre way that are still there. Yeah, but even that is a true testament of, if you just fucking... Right, but what, yeah, but we can talk about that later. It's not important to be negative. But yeah, you're right. It's like, if you, I always say to people that are funny at all, like if you do an open mic night and you make me laugh, I'm like, you have the hardest part down, you're right. It's like if you... I always say to people that are funny at all, like if you do an open mic night and you make me laugh, I'm like, you have the hardest part

down. You're funny. So true. Now just keep going. Now just keep working at it. And the more time you spend working on it in every realm, whether the more sets you do, the more recordings you listen to, the more writing you sit in front of your notepad. Yeah. Right. Sit down. Come up with ideas. Mess around. Like go over some of your old notes.

You should have old notes. You should have like an orphan baby folder. So like they're orphan jokes of mine. You know the thing about writing, they always say kill your babies, you know, like for editing. It's hard for writers, hard for anybody who's a creative person. They create something, you don't want to let it go. I have like a whole folder of orphan babies. And I go back to that folder every now and then

I ever want some more Yeah, maybe I find a new way and so you always have like some fertile land to till and that's only from writing if you don't Write into then you're just stuck with what's in your mind right now And what's in your mind right now is probably pretty good A lot of guys do very well with what's in their mind right now, especially they do a lot of sets, but you're really better off if you also spend some more time working on the ideas in silence by yourself. Just sit there. Sit there and every now and then you come up with some of my best lines. I've come up with that way. Exactly. Just out of nowhere. And then the most magic dude I had that at the little boy on Tuesday, we're doing bottom of the barrel where I pull out the subject.

And there's a like a shelf in my mind that was there. I put that topic there seven, eight years ago. Ah, and then you remember it. Put it there. And I never even thought about it because it was so stupid. It was like it comes out of bottom of the barrel. Like a little gift from the universe and I go to the green room. I write it out go straight to fat man murder Yeah, that's the beautiful thing about that place. It's it really is a true place where you could develop

I'm taking a couple weeks off, but I'll be back. Yeah, hell. Yeah, dude. It's crazy I'm taking a couple weeks off, but I'll be back. Yeah, hell yeah, dude, it's crazy. I need to just relax a little. You know the first time I saw you was in Australia? I know, yeah, we're talking about that. Comics Lounge, Melbourne. One of the door guys, Tim, was a good friend of mine, and he writes me during the day, hey, Tony Hinchcliffe,

and this was when, because I told you, this was when Tony, this was like eight years ago, he was already good, but he wasn't the heel that he is now, the guy. But he had that spark, because when he opened for you in the theater, I remember he opened with Melbourne, Australia, lots of white people, what is this, heaven? And Melbourne is a super liberal, you know, the theater. Ah, the release.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There needs to be tension for there to be release. Yeah. Ah. And I remember my friend Tim writes me, and he goes, oh, Joe Rogan and they're coming too. And it was another guy's, it was like an Australian guy's show or something. You know, that's his headlining show.

And he was big in Australia, but not like pack out the club, half papered, older people, you know, it was like a regular crowd, I would say. Nothing superstar rock star shit. And all the open micers, all me, everybody gets back into the room to watch you, because you're our first famous guy that we've seen drop into that club.

And in our head, you know how open mic, we're all haters, dude. We're all like, let's see this American guy, bomb, you know? Because we're all haters at that point, you know, open micers dude. Oh yeah, I was a hater. Dude, yeah, what do you think dude? I'm getting two minutes at this club. What the fuck am I, you know? So we're all like, oh, how's this? And you come, they go, from America. And this was, you had the Jorgan experience. He I think on you just went from you stream to YouTube it was big in the comedy community but in Australia pop culture not that big you know you were the fear factor guy I

would say most just looking at the crowd what they thought of you and you get a polite nothing like it would be today you get a polite applause and you go out there and it was your trigger set you did you did so clever to you did the opener of your hour and the closer right because i saw you in the next day in theater dude you were murdering so hard when you had that kim gardasian bit when you're climbing on a stool you're kicking off the heels yeah sweat was dripping because it was summer in Australia sweat was dripping down i remember and all of us. Sweat was dripping down, I remember. And all of us, like comics in the back are like,

this is not a crowd that for who Kim Kardashian is a prevalent pop figure, but your bit was so good that it transcends the reference. It's like me as a young kid watching Dave Chappelle doing Crack Baby. I'm an Estonian white kid in a suburb What do I know about the corner right and the projects? I've never seen a black person, but he's Literally never but he's but his talent

Transcends the reference right and I remember you were murdering so hard and that's when I was like holy fuck like murdering so hard and that's when I was like, holy fuck. Like, cause we all thought you're just like a famous guy who just does stand up on the side. And we were like, nah, this guy's a murderer. And I remember that poor headliner, I mean, rest in peace. And you were like slamming. Well, thanks brother.

Yeah, that was right when I was about to film Triggered. So that shit was tight. shit was tight and then I remember somebody comes back to me they know I smoke weed they go mr. Rogan needs weed and in my head I'm like um didn't we hang out on this little like balcony area little so let me tell you about this balcony hey we got to go man oh I'm sorry I gotta wrap this up let Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up with this. OK.

So you're on the balcony. And I get the weed. And I tell my friend, Tim, see, I'm cool. I'm not going to talk. Everybody tried to talk to you there. I'm just going to give you a fist bump on the weed. I go, I have the weed. Tim grabs the weed, turns around, and just walks away.

And in my head, I'm like, I wish I could have just given you a fist bump you know but now nine years later fuck you Tim. Fuck you Tim you hater you took his weed yeah yeah that was fun that was a it's cool it's always cool to go to a different country and see the scene. And then you're murdered in the theater. 7am I see you at the UFC, Holy Home, Ronda Rousey, amazing KO. Dude, I go back to bed, I wake up, you're already in LA talking to a scientist engaged. I'm like, this guy, fucking. That was like a crazy weekend, you know? Yeah, it's a wild life.

Anyway, again, thank you my brother. Thank you for being at the club. Thanks for being an awesome guy. It's great having you around. Thank you so much. It's great to see you flourish and if people get a chance to see you live Don't miss it. Ari is a real killer. Thank you. Twelve years in and it's beautiful to see you there, man. And thank you very much for being there Friday and Saturday night. You fucking heard that. It meant a lot to me. It really did. Thank you. All you guys. Ron and Tony too. That meant so much to me because it was like I was at home. It was like we're home. No matter where we go. The club's amazing. Thank you so much. Tell everybody your Instagrams. They could find

you. It's AriMattiComedy. AriMattiComedy on Instagram. Easiest way. You have a website? Building one. Building one? I have an old one, AriMatti.com. But if you go to the Instagram, all my dates are there. All right. Beautiful. Thank you so much old one, arrimatti.com. But if you go to the Instagram, all my dates are there. All right, beautiful. Thank you so much. My pleasure. Bye everybody. Bye.