The Joe Rogan Experience - #2187 - Adam Sandler

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

Adam Sandler is an actor, comedian, and producer known for his work in films like "Happy Gilmore," "Spaceman," and "Uncut Gems." Look for his new Netflix comedy special "Love You" on August 27.  https://www.netflix.com/title/81757746 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. The world is a big place and it's filled with all different kinds of people. So you're bound to find exactly who you need for your business. But where do you start looking? ZipRecruiter. Whether you need to hire a civil engineer in New York, a pediatric nurse in Nebraska, an attorney in Colorado, or even a mascot in Michigan, ZipRecruiter can help you find candidates with the right skills and you can try it for free right now at ziprecruiter.com slash rogan. ZipRecruiter's smart technology works quickly to find top talent. As soon as you post your job it uses powerful matching technology to scan through resumes and identify qualified people for your role, whatever it is.

From accountant to zoologist, ZipRecruiter makes hiring faster and easier. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com slash rogan. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com slash Rogan. Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Need more hot takes? Head to the FanDuel Sportsbook app. They've got more ways to bet, more ways to win,

and more ways to cash out quick. You can cook up same game parlays on any MLB or soccer game all in one place, not to mention golf, tennis, and more. Download FanDuel and get more from North America's number one sportsbook. Please play responsibly. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. The Joe Rogan Experience. Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Hello, Alex. Hey, Joe. Good to see you, buddy.

What's going on? I'm happy to see you. I'm so happy to be here, buddy. Thanks, man. I'm happy to have you here. I was excited to see you. We know each other a long time, and I was excited to come to Austin of course we were just talking about how zookeeper was 14 years ago. I shocked how

How? Fucking flies by me. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's that was a fun time though. That's oh, yeah He was so excited. That was a very fun. That was very fun Yeah, I am you and KJ with sussy. Yeah, that's how you guys that's oh you know Kevin for 30-something years. Yeah knowing him forever It's funny because even your stand-up my watch you stand up the other night. You guys remind me of each other. There's something Something you take your time on stage. You set it up, you say your shit, and you live in it. Like, it's not the same, but you guys, you can tell you guys are buddies.

There's something about it that's, that's, you feel like a, everybody feels like, oh, I fucking, I would hang out with that guy. That's cool. But did you and KJ start stand up together, or? Well, we didn't start together exactly. I started in Boston, he started in New York, but I met him when I was like, I guess two years in? About two years in.

Where? Where did you guys meet? In New York. At the strip or something? I think we met at Eastside. Eastside? I don't think I did. That's downtown? No. Eastside Comedy Club was on Long Island. Oh, oh, oh, yeah! That, I used to go there. That was in, like, Huntington? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great club Comedy Club was on Long Island. Oh, yeah that I used to go that was in like huntington Yeah, yeah, yes, that was a great club. I thought Richie Mannerveni's place. That's right. Yeah, Mannerveni. No, that's a funny bastard

Yeah, he's a funny dude. I first one of them first comedy clubs I watched I Think I saw Carol Eifer at the Eastside Comedy Club. My sister lived in Huntington. And she said, do you wanna go see, it wasn't my first, but it was like, first couple. She said, do you wanna see a comedian? There's a club around here.

I said, yeah, yeah, and I sat in the back. I think I might've been like 15 or something, 16. And I saw Carol Leifer kill for like an hour, I think. That was exciting. That club was rocking. Yeah, it's gone though, right? Are there good clubs along the island now? Like what's that?

Well, geez man, I don't know what's happening. There was always Governors. Governors was great. That always existed. Yes. I remember there was a few bars that were comedy clubs that I used to do there. I just don't remember the names right now. But back in the day when I was young, I would go out to the island. Governors, I don't think I got on there much, maybe a couple of times when I was young. That was kind of a rockin' club.

Oh yeah. Steve-O. Do you remember Steve-O? No. I know Steve-O-the you know Jack Aska no there's another guy Steve-o-who Was a funny comic and John Mulrooney you remember sure yeah, I remember he was kind of huge out there He used to be a cop right I think so yeah, I think so he was I remember Mulrooney was by far Him and Kevin Meany with the two guys you didn't want to go after. I remember Mulroney would just destroy a room. He was so loose and would dominate the room and then they'd bring you up and you're like,

oh, goodness gracious. I saw Kevin Meany once at Catcher Rising Star in Cambridge. And it was insanity. It was when he was at his peak, absolute peak. I wasn't even thinking about doing comedy then. I was just a comedy fan, and I went out with a friend of mine from high school, I think we were both like 18,

and we went and we saw him just fucking destroy for an hour to the point where I got out of there, it was like I had an ab workout, I was in pain. I was like, Jesus Christ. He was so in the groove, yes, yes. I was like, Jesus Christ. Yes, I know. He was so in the groove, like everything he did was funny. I, man, and I've never in my life killed this hard as Kevin Meany.

I mean, there's nobody you can kill, I remember me and Rock would be on the side at Catch a Rising Star watching me, Meany do whatever he did, and he would just like, yeah, I don't think I can get laughs that loud It's fucking blew out the room every time on fire. It was on fire, but it was it was weird. It's like it didn't sustain like he later in his career for whatever reason it just

The whatever he had for those few years like in the 80s in the early 90s Uh-huh, it didn't keep going for some strange. I kept doing stand-up, but something was missing I don't know what it was. Did he he I know we killed on the Tonight Show with Carson I'm sure yeah, just Jordan did all I don't know what he wanted. I don't know what the next thing he won I just remember maybe didn't he do a TV show Uncle Buck yeah but that was not that good you know that was the John Candy movie as they turned into a television show and I think you know there was always the thing that he was in the closet and then he came out of the closet and then it was kind of

like right before he died I'll tell tell you, I did a Boston Club comedy connection when I was 17. I ate it. I came off stage. I mean, I bombed and my dad was there watching. It was a terrible feeling. And even the emcee, who I don't remember, when I came off stage after eating it,

I'm walking, you know that awful feeling of walking through the crowd and they're all looking at you like, Jesus, dude. And then the fucking MC stopped me. He goes, Adam, Adam. I turn around, you know, with your head spinning and shit. I go, you know, I look at the guy, he goes, class clown? And I go, I nod my head like, yes.

He goes, maybe stick with that place. Pow, laughing. As I go, okay. You know, I fucking walked off. And then I went into the dressing room stick with that place. Pow! Laughing at me. I go, okay. You know, I fucking walked off. And then I went into the dressing room, because I wanted to hide. And Meanie, Meanie, funny kid, blah, blah, blah, said some nice shit to me. I always remembered, oh, that can't be me.

Fucking good dude, man. He was lifting me up. Yeah, some encouragement from a real comedian when you're just starting out can go a long way. Yeah, man. Because in the beginning it's so shaky. You don't know if it's going to work out. Like, what am I doing? Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, you feel, you go home at night head spinning. What am I doing to myself? Why am I doing this? Yes, yes. It's fucking insane. It truly is the sickest feeling. And then there's the days or nights you go on stage and your shit, you're not doing good, you're eating it, but you have a confidence. And you're like, I'm pretty good at this even though I'm fucking eating it, right?

I feel pretty good right now You feel like this is I'm gonna figure this out. Yeah, right exactly. Yeah figure it out Yeah, your movies kept my family sane through the beginning of the pandemic That's we want an Adam Sandler runler run where like we watched basically every, the only one we didn't watch is Little Nicky. For whatever reason, we never got to that one because we watched other ones like, I watched the Zoey, I might have just seen the Zoey Ant 20 times. I fucking love that movie. Such a funny movie. Why didn't you ever do a second one? That's fucking, always talked about it it I mean dude the the it's

a no-brainer it would be a little tough so right now we'd have to wait a minute put that one on the shelf for a little bit we had to put that one on the shelf a bunch of times when we were about to do it cuz shit would go on we'd be like it's a tough time to do it right now and then we just we got it we did it we the intention was good to try to say, let's try to get some peace out there. But, and then another part of it is I'll never fucking be in that shape again.

I don't think I could ever do that. And then- You can hire a trainer. Get a trainer. I know, but I can't stick with it, buddy. You are doing great. How the fuck are you eating so good and hitting it so hard?

I'm like, you know, I used to fucking take working out so serious when I was in Maybe up to like 25 26. Yeah, I can't fucking do it I play who then I eat and I every even walk every time I'm eating I'm going what are you doing? You don't need to do this. I can't stop just got a little bit of thickness all over Yeah, it's something that just You you have to stay on the horse you can't back off at all Especially as you get older yeah back off at all you just start. What is this start feeling? Oh my god? I know I have a new I know buddy

Well, you fucking walk in now and I go Jesus that'd be fun to look like that I always fucking wanted to be I had I had I know shit when I was 18 to 23 I hit it so hard. I never looked like you I never was Jack You look good during the Zoan pretty good really good pretty fucking good for yeah I was as good as I can get and I had I naturally had a little something going on when I was Real like the the college years, but that now it's fucking rough My kids go what my daughter one daughter Sadie's always saying dad Get the training from the zoo hand. Why would you ever give that up? Why would you want? Why did you stop?

I was like, it's a lot of work. Yeah, but did you like the way you felt? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should do that. Get that feeling back and stuff like that. But I just can't jump in there. Well, she sounds like a good coach. She's good. Yeah. She's, she's saying the right shift. Saying the right stuff. She's right. Everything she says. She's, I have a thought where I, I, it's, I don't promise her. I go, let me think about that. That's a good idea. The whole thing is just not over doing it in the beginning Starting slow where it's maintainable and then slowly build up. That's the key

So you give yourself new goals what when well I never stopped but I mean when you get started Yeah, and the thing is like people try to go too hard like oh my god. I'm out of shape I'm gonna run fucking 10 miles and I'm gonna gonna lift weights, and then we'll do it. Then you're too tired, and then you're so fucking sore in the morning, like I can't keep this up. The whole key is just give your body enough where it's pushing it, but it's not exhausted. You're not breaking your body down.

You're just strengthening it slowly. You gotta get sick the same way, or you gotta get better the same way you got sick Right you got sick over time. Yeah over time eating right? Yeah, that's good fucking up, and then you got to get better that way over time slowly start to morph your body back into a good condition That's good. He can't everybody just to go too hard. They try to go to create you get excited Sustainable you get excited to get it going again and then and then get injured you break yourself down Yeah, your knees hurt your back. Yes too much terror something

Yeah, the key is just not do too much just do enough and just cut back on you say I'm gonna only have two cheat days a week two days a week. I'm neat whatever the fuck I want Five days a week. I'm gonna eat clean and then break down to six days a week. I'm gonna eat clean Wow one day a week. I'm gonna fuck off. Yeah. Yeah, you can go one day a week. Just fucking off You can get a lot done. That's amazing Yeah, the fuck off day is from start to finish you can do whatever the fuck you want one day That's good. And then the other days the good days. What what do you like? Do you eat a breakfast and all that? Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah, I? Skip breakfast like that's my new move the last year's like intermittent fasting I guess so, but I'm supposed to fucking you know lock in on eight hours or six hours, and I always

Say I do one to nine say then around fucking ten I go let me have some grapes, and then I go I think I'm not supposed to have grapes And then I go a few grapes, and then it opens up to some other shit grapes aren't the problem The grapes lead to some bad grapes leave the waffles Fucking skinny cow this new thing skinny cow ice cream sandwiches in the house started a little problem for me What are skinny cow they're supposed to be a little better for you because the calories aren't awful I think it's like 130 so I go 130 usually they're supposed to be a little better for you because the calories aren't awful. I think it's like 130 So I go 130 usually they're fucking like 330

So then I eat two two of them I got still under that 330 then I go if I have a third It's still in the threes. So I eat a third and then I fucking go I gotta stop Yeah, if you want it, we really want to be serious about taking just hire somebody you got money I got the best guy the guy who did me for the Zoan and he's I love them It's just I see him and I love him so much that I go. Let's keep this a friendship I play so much basketball though. That keeps me. Okay It doesn't want me to take my I don't want to to take my shirt off but I don't. How often do you play? Maybe four or five a week where I get out there and run for my money. That's great. That's pretty good. That's very good. That's a key if you could do something

that you really enjoy doing. Yes. You know? Yes. Something that keeps you active that you enjoy. That makes it so much easier because you're playing a game so you're getting fit for sure in the middle of a game exciting like you don't hate that at all That is the best. I think that's the only thing I got that you you you fight that that's fucking fun, right? martial arts of fun, you know martial arts of fun KJ always fought I never even one time KJ we left left a hotel and I think he just came from fighting with one of the guys who were teaching him some shit and he was so riled up from it, he put me in some fucking crazy hole at nowhere. We were going to dinner and all of a sudden he came at me and I was like holy shit and

he fucking grabbed me, twisted me around, had me in some weird hole. I said oh okay, he's just letting me know he can destroy me. But I remember just going, yeah, that's fucking something I should get into, man. But I just can't, I'm not flexible at all. You're very flexible, huh? That helps. Well, I started stretching before I hit puberty. That's the big thing.

Or during puberty, really. So it's like while your body's thickening, you're stretching. Keeping it loose. That makes a giant difference. I never, by the way, KJ with being flexible is very odd. He can put the hands on it. Yeah. He's fucking weirdly.

He's a very athletic guy. He just eats like a fucking army. He does get excited. I sometimes when we were young, I'd say, tell me your McDonald's order. and he'd be like, okay Three quarter-pounds three big man, whatever the fuck it was hard It was his McDonald order is insane Kevin go hard But like you also when he was on a podcast told me fasted once for how many days?

Yes, 60 something earths. Yeah something insane amount of it was like 40 days or something. Yeah. Yeah, mania something insane and then I think he ate a Sandwich and it really hurt You're so much probably what the fuck oh my god. He's a mad man with that fast. Yeah. Well, he's a he's an intense dude You know, it's just an intense with eating too. Yeah, but if you ever watch him hit the mitts everyone watching Yeah, yes, he's can fucking stride. Yes. I know it's kind of shocking. Yes, if you ever watch him hit the mitts everyone watching. Yeah, he's can fucking strike Yes, I know it's kind of shocking. Yes, I don't know him. Yes, you see him crack mitts and you like Jesus Christ Holy shit. He is yeah, he's fucking legit and he and he can roll around good, too

Oh, yeah when he was getting ready for here comes the boom Yeah, like, you know when he was training with Mark Deatt. Oh, yeah. Yeah damn dude. He was cracking those I know I know he did let me know when that one thing he did to me. You know who did that to me too Farley Farley we were in the hallway on Live out of nowhere. Oh, no We were at a fucking hotel and he came at me real fast put me grab me put me in some shit He met me real fast, grabbed me, put me in some shit, pulled hard, I felt every part of my body crack. And then Farley laughed, and just like with Kevin, they kinda looked at you like, I could fuck you up if I wanted to.

Farley was a big dude too. He was a big boy. He was like, maybe 5'8". But he was like 5'8 wide too. He was wide. Yeah. Fucking athlete though, moved nice. Well when he moved around on stage though move nice well when he moved around on stage Yeah, you know when he moved around SNL he fucking that was part of the thing is he was so explosive Oh, yeah, like part of the funny in him was yes fucking insane. Yeah, I had this explosion

I could get out. I only met him once you did meet him Yeah, I met him on the set of news radio, and he was oh in the middle the throes of addiction So he was he was gray like wet cardboard It was weird. It was weird being around him. He just looks sweaty. He's like hey, how you doing? I was like hey, what's up? Was he there to see Phil? He was there to see Andy dick And Andy dick were hanging out. I think they were both off the rails. They were having fun. They're having a good time Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah fucking that sucks. I hate it. Well. He was yeah, that's horrible But that was a good time of life though on that news radio shit. Oh, yeah, that was a lot of fun. It was

Spade and and and and Phil and no spade wasn't on that spade was on that other show just shoot me He was I just you but I thought he did a couple of couple of things he did Yeah, he definitely did but you know a lot of people did you know yeah yeah a lot of people did was that your first big big yeah yeah that was the first big thing I did a small sitcom that nobody watched before that called hardball hardball what was it about who's a baseball show on Fox yeah I think I'm like five or six episodes what were you on that I was a baseball player oh that you Yeah, I think I remember that. Normally, it was like five or six episodes. What were you on that? I was a baseball player.

Oh, you played baseball? I did in high school. Oh, yeah? A little bit, until I started doing martial arts. All right, right, right. Then I kind of gave up all sports. Gotcha, gotcha. That's cool, man.

I want me to tell you my martial arts, it's not that big of a deal, but I grew up in Manchester, New Hampshire, and a lot of guys were tough, you know, fought and shit. Fights would happen. And then I had the idea. I drove by downtown. I saw this guy's, I can't remember his name, Mick something.

And I fucking saw kickboxing. I was like, let me take kickboxing just in case I can fuck somebody up because that'd be fun to have that secret weapon of kickboxing and, you know, all of a sudden be able to kick someone in the face. That'd be great. And so I talked my buddy into it or maybe he talked me into it. But I think that anyways, we both go and fucking like 15 guys in there from school, all already doing it already advanced. And I was like, all this did was make me realize these guys can kick the shit out of me. I thought guys I could take, I was going,

oh fuck, that guy can crush me too, I had no idea. But I'm never flexible, so I think I quit after like four or five sessions. Flexibility is something that everybody can gain. It's just you have to go through the process. Flexibility is not something like, you know, there's like a certain amount of explosiveness and athleticism that some people just don't possess and it would take a long time to get

there. But flexibility is something that you just have to work at. I've seen very inflexible people become flexible. Yeah? Yeah. What, just by doing it every day? Doing it every day and just sticking to a routine. You just gotta force yourself past the pain

You know I'm just nervous as my hamstrings are gonna pop this whole fucking tight You know what you should get you ever see one of those things where you it's like a strap And you put your foot into it. Yes like pull back Great yeah, I know Yeah, I know I know go to hot yoga. That's a cheat code. No, that's a good one gets real hot in there Yes, get a lot looser. Yeah, that's good. That's good. No my wife's good at that shit to help My whole my daughters do it. I just fucking It hurts my lower back and my hamstring so much that I end up just going all right

I get up and do a fake water break and just So I was working on the special? I saw you in Vegas. I saw you stand up in the video. I know you did. It was very funny, man. Thank you, man. Very funny, I really enjoyed it.

I appreciate it, man. I had a great time making the special. I had a great, I have a great time on the road. I can't believe it. You know, I fucking quit doing standup for, you know, like 20 years or something. What made you want to get back? I think I was doing grownups and Rock and Spade

and Schneider and KJ were always talking about, next weekend I'm going to Niagara Falls and I'd be like, these guys are all fucking having fun on the road. And then I think Appetow was doing Carnegie Hall he was hosting something and he said you want to do some stand-up again and I just go yeah yeah let me do that and I did it just to make sure that I fucking put together 15 minutes or something. That got me back into it.

And did you just piece it together by doing small sets? Or did you, how did you write it out? I was, I think maybe I did a couple of improvs or something maybe I went to the improv a couple times, but mostly from doing Letterman. I used to do Letterman and do two segments. So I'd fucking sit down with my buddies, write jokes, and just go out there with jokes and kind of trusted that, yeah, that's a good joke.

And I think I started doing that with standup too. Just going, ah, this is pretty good. Let me just do it. And then like, when did you start booking gigs? The same shit I call the guy is this this great guy whose daughter was going to school with mine He would talk about booking acts and shit I said I was thinking of doing stand-up again you want to book me some shows and then he just booked like a Ten city tour for me, and I said all right. I better fucking put an hour together for the while So how did you what how'd you put the hour together? Did you go to the improv?

Did you go to the store? Where'd you go a couple times at the store? Improv I would drive out of town, you know the Valley Maybe like the ha ha that kind of shit. Yes. Yes anybody flappers exactly flappers flappers Good spots good spot. I shit out. Yeah Yeah, I just did a bunch of maybe I went down at a comedy magic clubs. That's still yes. I did That's a great. I could yes exactly I accept I remember growing up. I would always see Leno and Joe Is it Joe not not is it Brogan? What was it? What was Jimmy Brogan Jimmy Brogan? Yeah the Booker Yeah, but he did this and up as well stand up and they were so clean and they would fucking annihilate

And I always felt self-conscious in that place for how filthy I was These people don't want to see this. Well, the comedy magic love is like the cleanest club in the country that right, right? Yeah Yeah, I'm Jimmy Miller used to book it Did he I think so okay? Yeah? Apatow used to always go there. Yeah, it's a that's a great little club That's a good club, so I forced myself to get a good out now I got I mean when I when I was on the road the last tour I was I have so many You know I have so much shit that steps on

other shit so I can't really do it all right because if I already said this so that this joke doesn't make any sense now so but I was fucking doing two-hour shows and it wasn't that big of a deal Wow can you believe that yeah cuz I remember struggling to do an hour of my whole stand-up life I'd be like my god how fucking the crowd so bored with me now. I can't come up with new moves, you know? But now, got enough shit, keep them rockin'. So how long have you been steady doing stand-up again now?

I think like seven years. Wow. Must feel good though, right? It's nice, man. To get back into like a real flow, like a real headliner flow again. 100%, yes. And go, oh yeah, I missed this.

I did miss it, I didn't even know I missed it. It's the most 100% yes. You go, oh yeah I missed this. I did miss it. I didn't even know I missed it. It's the most fun. Absolutely. You fucking were loose. You set yourself up to do a live fucking special. I don't think I could handle that man. My head be spinning way too much man.

But you had to over prepare. Yeah, but you didn't have any pauses. You just boom boom boom boom boom You did how long were you doing that set? Well, I did Well, you know because I have my own club that helps a lot, right? So I was doing two shows a night Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday So I was doing six hours of stand-up a week, which is a lot Yeah, yeah, and then I was doing podcasts and all the other UFC stuff that I do. So a lot of work, right?

That got to be too much So then I knocked it down to three sets a week three headliner sets a week And then I would do a bunch of short sets, you know But that's bottom of the barrel show that I told you that my friend Brian Simpson host that shows the best Yeah, it's like a premise factory. Yeah, because you have this whiskey barrel on stage. It's filled with notes from the crowd It's all just different ridiculous ideas for premises and you reach your hand in you pull one out and it says, you know Frogs are gay or whatever. Yes, and you just start ranting right about and you try to come up with bits and One you get one or two

Every set that you write it down. You're like, this could be something. That's amazing, yeah. And a couple of them made it onto the special. That's incredible. Because it's like, it's a premise factory. Absolutely. So I had a lot of it.

I was getting ready to do a special in, I was gonna do one in August of 2020, but then, you know, obviously in March, everything shut down and I didn't do stand-up for eight months and it was just, and then I thought about it and I was like, you know what? I just feel like just working on my material now. I just feel like just working on stand up and not even thinking about the special. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a great feeling. I was just enjoying working at the club, owning the club, and then there's so many good guys at the club. It was just such a fucking hot spot, right? There's so many people there Shane Killis and Mark Norman and Ari Shaffir and fucking Bryan Simpson and Tony Hinchcliffe It's just like every night was just murderers row. Yeah, and we were all just cooking together That's big and then when Netflix said they want to do a live special with me at first. I was like fuck that I don't want to do that. Yeah, and I said no I told my manager I was like no I called her on the phone. I was like what I don't want to do a live special with me at first I was like fuck that I don't want to do that And I said no I told my manager. I was like no I called her on the phone

I was like what I don't want to do that yeah, and then I was driving home Like why you scared to do that you fucking pussy and I was like as I was driving home I was like thinking and then I when I got home. I called the back. I'll don't say no yet I go wow yeah, yeah, I've had those feelings. Yeah, and then the next day. I said all right. I'm gonna do it And she's like you sure I go yeah, yeah Do it cuz I'm scared of it. That's ballsy man. I was fucking terrified of course I I'm I'm scared thinking about doing I would never fucking do it But but you killed it you killed it you were loose you were rolling you crushed

Why didn't that set in order for three weeks straight, right? So I had it locked in for three weeks I didn't do any no, which I always fuck around. There was no fucking around. No deviation for three weeks. You were steady, exactly. I also wrote all the bits out by hand. I wrote them all out. Even the ones I already knew.

I wrote them all out. I wrote all the transitions out. I listened to recordings. I watched videos. I beat myself into the ground. I overprepared. So then when I got up there, there was no what is next what is next there was no thought you have a Beat sheet somewhere no case you got lost no no no that's fucking balls

I would never be able to do that I want to treat it like a regular show if I had a regular show I wouldn't have a cheat sheet I fucking I never did when I was young but now I need fucking a word I need to look somewhere and see the word. What do you like put like index cards on the tape on the stage? You know it says like you know Right and then I'm ready because my head goes to space I get spacey as I got older when I was young I was prepared and Did my shit and I did my shit.

I think it helps me kinda relax a little bit, just knowing that if I'm lost, I can look down and see a word and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, do that next. Bill Ma brings one of them conductor's fuckin' things on stage. Where, you know, like they have like, where you put the news, the music rather. He has that and he just has his ideas written out on that good

You just look down at it. I get addicted to that a little too much sometimes I cut in Largo in LA I go up there the flanny runs that place and he lets me go on and and And try shit out and I have a music stand and I fucking I'll be at work all day working on movies And then like 10 minutes left to go I go oh yeah yeah let me fucking I got a couple guys in the office who helped write jokes with me and I go let me try this this isn't this and I just put the sheet down go on stage try shit out try new shit out nothing better than a new joke yeah it's very exciting that's the best if it's working usually does work too. Well, you're enthusiastic about it

And yeah, if you really have thought about it and prepared for it. It's like a new thing for you So it's an exciting new toy. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes You can't wait to get to that or open with it or whatever. Yeah When you do movies, do you just come up with a premise first? Like when you decide to do a film like if you say you happy Gilmore How do you how do you like make your movies? How do you start? That's I mean that was Just lucky premise Billy Madison. I remember I Thought oh this could be great a guy who a grown-up who does elementary school again

And that's a great idea of being, I get to be goofy, get to bully these little kids, then all of a sudden connect with these kids and have fun growing up again. So, part of my head was like, well, Rodney did back to school already, so everyone's gonna say I just ripped off back to school, Rodney went back to college.

How the fuck do we kinda do it, step away from that? And I called my buddy, Hurlohi, who I went to college, how the fuck do we kind of do it a step away from that? And I call my buddy, Hurlohi, who I went to college with and he writes all the movies with me. Or he's just a great funny man and I've written almost everything with him. And if he goes, ooh, that's good, then we usually go from there and we try to fill it out after that. Same thing with Happy Gilmore, Wedding Singer, Bobby Boucher, that's good. Then we usually go from there and we try to fill it out after that. Same thing with Happy Gilmore, Wedding Singer, Bobby Boucher, all that shit. We were just like, came up with a couple of lines of what we thought as an interesting idea

and then see if we can fill it out. It's so funny because your films get loved by the public and hated by critics. It's so hilarious. Like you are the, like whatever the Rotten Tomatoes critics score is for your films means zero. It means nothing. It's only the audience is what counts. That's all we thought about. Yeah. Because your films are all so fun and so silly and so, in my opinion, so under appreciated. Thank you, man. Because like this is one of the things I thought about during COVID. Like we watched it every night. We watched like every film that you made while everything was locked down.

Amazing. I love that. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, my fucking I don't know, man, we lucked out where we we worked our asses off like you're working your ass off now. Like this is, this is, took it very serious. But you caught like a silly groove. Yes, yes. I don't think anybody else has that silly groove like you do. Like you caught that groove with so many movies, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did. I mean, when I first started, Jim Carrey was crushing, Stiller, Mike Myers, a lot of goofy movies were getting made and I certainly fucking loved doing them. I love being on set, making those kind of movies. I love fucking editing that shit, thinking about kids laughing, I always loved that.

Thinking of college kids throwing a tape in, sitting down, watching together. That was on our mind when we did it. When you first started out, did you want to be a comic? Did you want to be a stand-up comic, or did you always think that you wanted to do films? I think I wanted to get into the movies. I was fucking nuts, cocky as shit in my own weird way.

I think a big thing that happened to me was I told my friends in high school I was gonna be fucking big. So you had to? I had to do it. I told the boys, I was like, I'm gonna be fucking great. And then when I would check in with them, I remember being on payphones calling after

even eating it at Catch a Rising Star. I call him up, fucking did good tonight. I go, yeah. I go, yeah. I said, what'd you say? I said, this joke fucking killed. Meanwhile, I fucking ate it every time. So you're faking it until you made it.

But I dug a hole for myself. I'm doing great. Robin Williams said I was fantastic. Robin Williams, I remember one night saw me eat it. I was just like, oh man, I ate it in front of Robin Williams said I was fantastic, Robin Williams, I remember one night saw me eat it and I was just like, oh man, I ate it in front of Robin Williams. But I changed the story of like, yeah, he liked that shit. There's something that could be very valuable about being delusional and being young. Yes, very delusional, so stupid, man.

I did this thing once, do you know Owen Smith? Who the hell is that? Hilarious, hilarious comedian in LA. He had this, he's one of the best comics alive, but he spends a lot of time writing and doing shows, unfortunately. I'm sure I know. Which I think he should be headline in arenas. He was just at my club a few months back.

Oh yeah. I saw him, fuck, he's a monster. The point is, Owen had this show that he was doing for a while Where would you find your oldest notebooks? Uh-huh and sit down with him and go over your oldest jokes, and it was So bad. They were so it was like a 1991 jokebook Keep them all yeah, and I was going through we were reading and I was like it's so bad I hadn't like built-in heckler lines that I wrote that were terrible and this guy was saying this to

me and that's so funny if I had to go back there and like give myself advice I would say you got to quit you're terrible this god don't do this what are you doing yeah don't do this sound atrocious you're not gonna make it same thing yeah no way but I fucking thought I was fucking phenomenal I would look at the crowd not laughing going these fucking are these guys fucking nuts They don't see how great this shit is It's almost like I was with my fucking giant afro and my father would be at the table to be like You need a haircut. I'd be like what are you talking about man? He'd be like you think you look good

Yeah, I look great. He be like you don't just so you know you don't look great you're water you are so off on that then it's funny delusional thinking can sometimes carry you to the like once you develop some skill that delusional is like a little guardian yeah like she protected while you actually develop talent and that goes away because I'm more nervous now well, I had that fucking fear as a Comedian my head would spin when I Colin Quinn He had a club the paper moon in the in the city was the paper moon around when you know growing up

It was like at the Boston Comedy club like a small place like that. I think that that became Paper Moon became the boss of the same club Yes, I think it was downstairs that one shit. So fucking Colin like me. He used to get me on stage I was going to college around there and I All day long would be practicing on the elevator in my dorm. I'd be going Saying the shit Right one con would bring me up my fucking head would spin. I'd forget where I was not making sense I would say two jokes and then I'd be like, oh my god I don't I don't know what's coming next and I had that going for a while

But I still would go home at night and go fuck and I'm gonna be so fucking good at this I don't know what it was. Psycho, psycho. It's youthful delusion. Yeah, and it's also your central lobe is not fully formed yet. You don't even understand the world. You're just a little meat puppet.

My god, yeah. But that's how you make it. That's how you make it in kind of everything. Like you're delusional. Yes, yes, yes. If you really believe in yourself, counts for a lot up to a point Because there's people that still believe in themselves. They've been doing open mics for 20 years, right? Nobody's stepped in to say hey, this is never right right gonna happen right? Yeah, you have to have a spark

Yeah, there's gotta be a little something in there and then you could build that little something into something special. That's right That's right. Same thing in sports guys who keep going and keep trying out and keep doing something. But some people break through. It's interesting man. I definitely had an amazing time as a youngster. I had a couple of people that I locked in with. We were buddies. We all had that same thing of like, I'm good, I'm good, even though it wasn't that good yet. Yeah, yeah, I came up with Greg Fitzsimmons.

Greg and I, we're both like confused and wondering if we're ever gonna make it and just, you know, we do a lot of road gigs together and we were hoping, but the whole idea was only just to like one day you'd be a professional. That was the goal. Not really have any kind of a career career, but just like one day to make a living telling jokes. That was the dream. You couldn't even imagine. I would see guys that were actual pros when I had a bunch of day jobs doing construction, driving limos. Oh yeah, I yeah oh yeah and so then I would do these

nighttime gigs and I'd meet the real pros the guys who just made a living doing comedy I'm like what must that be like yes they saunter in at 9 o'clock yeah they've been playing golf all day and the Kevin Knox's and all those guys yeah yeah and I would just like they were like heroes Of course you're the you actually made it fucking bad outside of the system completely All you do is tell jokes and people love you and they come to see you and the same jokes a lot of the guys They were just like that's my act. Oh in Boston. Yeah, they never did television So those guys are right and people wanted to go see those same jokes again. That's right. Yes

Yes, like Steve Sweeney. Do you ever see Sweeney when he was in his prime? Absolute best Biggest destruction too. Yeah. Oh my god, Steve Sweeney in his prime would light up a room Yeah, you know and with Boston accent and Boston material you couldn't follow him. No, no, no He was a monster. I think he went on the very first night. I went on at stitches You do you sure that was the first place my brother brought me to stitches. He was going to be you He got me one of those five minute open mics. That's the first place. I ever did to stitches. Yeah, wow Yeah, how'd you do?

I got a couple of chuckles. You did? It was like enough to where I was like, maybe 21. 21, yeah. I was like, maybe. Maybe something. And the second time, I got some laughs. That's incredible. The second time, I was less nervous.

Wow. And I had listened to my recorder. I had a little tape recorder that I brought with me. And I recorded it. Oh, man. Yeah. How about that humiliation of the silence on the recorder? Oh, it was terrible. But it also made me realize what recorded it. Oh man. Yeah. How about that humiliation of the silence on the recording? Oh, it was terrible.

But it also made me realize what was wrong. Because I was studying it kind of the way I study martial arts. If you'd watch films of fights and then I would go, oh, there was a little bit of a timing problem there and this, I could have done this, I could have done that. And so with my second time. I did stand up I had the the humiliation of listening to the first cassette Yeah, so I listen I was like let me tighten this up and maybe this could be a little better Oh my god, tight, right a little more there, but I got some laughs a second time, which was like crazy

I was like wow I might be able to do this Both at stitches. Yeah, and then I think I bombed the third time and that was the first real bomb and also Yes, yeah, but every time I bombed I feel like it taught me something and I would get better Fucking I ate it last year last summer. I went up to the comic strip and Fucking ate it for ten straight minutes. And I went, oh shit, I forgot about that. I forgot about that punch in the face. That is a roughie. I ran into you at the airport and you were telling me you just did some fucking horrific corporate event.

I ate it there too! Oh, that was... I mean, if I listened to the tape, I say you're okay, but always humiliating yeah You had just gotten done with it when I ran into you You and your wife yeah, yeah, yeah, I had that fucking glaze look those corporate gigs are so Ron Why just ate it at one recently? Why the fuck I agree to do that He goes, I don't know why the fuck I agreed to do that. I know! I never did it! I said no, and they said more, and I said no, and then they came up with a number, I was like, alright.

Holy shit, buddy. Same fucking story for me. Those are deaf. I don't think I... Those things are deaf because the people that are there, they're working with all these people, so they're all like, kinda tight. Yeah, they got shit going on, yeah. And they're not really thinking about the comedy show They're thinking about this is like a social Environment with all the people that they're working their way up the corporate ladder

And then they're concentrating on all their shit, and they're also they can't laugh at anything inappropriate true Yeah, I saw Mike over there laughing at all those sexist jokes. Mike's a real piece of shit. Yeah, that's true man. That's good I I swear to God I felt bad for them. I Jesus they paid me so much. I fucking feel terrible. I didn't kill for but but Yeah, Hinchcliffe just did one recently to say the same thing. I'm like, that's why I don't do those They did not do comedy where people come to see comedy and that's it Don't get hired for a birthday party get Get the fuck out of here with that. It was, the only fucking reason I did it

was Paul McCartney did it the year before. So they go, well they don't do this much. I went, Paul McCartney, well fuck, I'm doing that shit. Yeah, but Paul McCartney can just play his songs. I know, man. You know, and like his songs are great. They're classics. Yes, he's not gonna miss.

He's not gonna miss. He's just gonna play the, and if they don't respond, that's on them. Yeah, it's like, you are great. They're classic. He's not gonna miss. He's just gonna play that and if they don't respond that's on them Yeah, it's like, you know fucking nuts. You just did it on the run That's good. Yeah, you know like I'm sissies they can always just get into their song We're fucking looking at everybody that fucking dude's not loving it. God damn it. We rely so much on other people's response. But the moments I don't, those are the ones I was saying to you, Joe, and I've eaten it

before but still felt I did good because I fucking remained kind of confident and believing in my shit still. But the ones where I look out, I see them hating me, and I go, yeah, why am I here, man? That's a bad feeling. It's a terrible feeling. I say bombing on stage is like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother. But the problem is, it's probably worse than that because somewhere out there, there's

probably a guy who wouldn't mind sucking a thousand dicks in front of his mom. He'd be like, look at me, mom. Look at you, bitch. You made me. Ahhhh. 99. Let's go. My mother would 100% at the end say, you could have done it better. Yeah. You could have sucked them hard.

Why did you stop on that one man? He wanted to explode in your face. And you, you you stop I feel bad you should call him and tell him you'll suck his dick but I'm with you buddy yeah stand up stand-ups the best it's a crazy thing and then no one could teach you how to do it either you have to figure it out yourself because your way of doing is different than my way of doing it my way is different than Kevin's way yeah Kevin's way is different than fuckin' Seinfeld's way.

Everybody's got a different way of doing it. And nobody can teach you how to do it. You can learn some things from watching other people. You can learn some things from. Oh man, yeah. But how about when somebody fuckin' great watches you and says, hey, you know what you could say here? And gives you a great line, you're like, oh my god.

Thank you. No, that's huge. That what a feeling. You just made my OK thing into a fucking one I'm excited to do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's been a couple of bits that I've had that got a tag from a friend, and it just pops it up.

Oh, you're like, how did I ever do it without that fucking line? Yeah. Sometimes like a fresh eye. That's one of the things that I always admired about how Chris Rock used to do it. Because Chris Rock would go on stage, he'd work his stuff out and then you'd have a bunch of guys that he would hire to sit in the back of the room and kind of workshop with him. I got, I do similar stuff.

Very smart. I have these young guys who are fucking way funnier at writing than me. Only because I'm fucking tired. I'm tired. I walk into the office and I'm like I thought it was funny thing last night Maybe something there I'll say it to him and they'll go oh, yeah And I'm fucking write something interesting and we come up with something together eventually well you used to Collaborating when you do films right? Yes. Yes, I always do that always a bunch of guys that that helped me out throughout the whole movie Yeah, that's such a good process

Yes, because you know one mind is great, but a bunch of minds together in Different perspectives people are gonna see things from an angle that you're not gonna see yes That's exciting and same shit same somebody comes up with a great thing to do in the scene or a line or Maybe you can be doing this at the same time and actually whatever the fuck it is. I mean me and Herlihy when we write these things we think a lot what it's going to look like, what's going on in the scene, what the jokes are, that kind of shit. But on the day you're definitely having a couple of buddies around making it better

is the way to go. Well, you always have a very tight ship too. Like doing Zookeeper with you and talking with Kevin, like you work with the same people pretty much every film. Which is really huge. Yeah, that's good. Because you have a very family environment. Like it's always family. Everybody's fun, Everybody likes working together.

No one's an asshole. It's an easy gig in that sense that you know you're going to come to work with people. Everybody's having fun. Kevin's got that going. You got that going? Yeah, you have to have that. That's gigantic. You've got a lot of great stand-up friends. When you do the road, you just bring your guys with you when you guys...

Like how many of you go up on stage when you take gigs on the road? If I do a gig I bring usually one guy who's a beginner and then two guys who are headliners. And how much time does everybody do? It depends. Like when I did the live special, I brought this kid Ari Matty who's hilarious yeah Ari did ten minutes we did 15 minutes the first night but on the live night he did ten minutes so ten minutes to warm the crowd up and they

brings on Ron white Ron white murdered yeah 15 and then he brings on Tony Tony murders while 15 wow and then I go on after that so fucking tough to do that to yourself put on big heavy hitters because second that can Get you in a hole sometimes Long as you're having fun it doesn't know audience is having a good time. Yes, though my

Philosophy is I I don't want bad comedians going in front of me I want people to kill yes, so that when I go on stage everyone's having a great time Yeah, they don't ever feel like oh, they mean I that one guy for 20 minutes Oh my god, when was he gonna get off stage now? Is there some comedians that like to do that they like to bring in terrible acts so they look like a hero No, that's bad. That's bad. It's bad for the audience Bad for your own brain you just fucking just you're getting lazy doing you getting lazy It's it's a soft way to approach it so like when I do shows at the club

Sometimes I'm going on stage an hour and a half into the show. And it's like Brian Simpson, Shane Gillis, Mark Norman. It's like killer after killer going up. And then I'm going up late. So you got, it's like running with weights on. Like you gotta come out of the gate, hop. You know?

Dude, I remember when I first came back to stand up, I was bringing all my buddies with me, and they were killing so, it was good crowds, so everybody would stay up, you know? Everyone's like, I know, I was gonna do 15, let me do 25. And so by the time I got up there, I was following like six or seven guys murdering and it was fucking two hours in and then I was supposed to do an hour and a half of

that I'd be like that's too much that's too much you wear the audience out yeah yeah I feel like when a show gets over two hours two and a half hours it's like I don't want to see a three-hour movie no yeah if I'm gonna watch a three-hour movie I'm gonna be at home okay where I can pause yeah if I have to take a leak go eat go have some popcorn I want like for three hours sitting in some auditorium somewhere watching a show

that's a lot it's gotta be a banger of a show so engaged we walk out like wow how about that feeling when you know Holy shit this arena. I'm losing them for about five minutes. Let me fucking get him get him back Yeah, when you see People who started the show off with like yeah, and then they're kind of like tuned out going What is happening right now? Yeah, why are you talking about a certain amount of attention span? Yeah? Yeah, you know that's why I admire bands that still like I saw Guns N' Roses in Greece Yeah, and they do three hours new shit or just no all the classics

Yeah, all the classics you know welcome to the jungle sweet child of mine Yeah, but they fucking go hard for three hours those guys are a hundred years old They're still killing it singing three hours. Yeah ripping hard for three hours. Those guys are a hundred years old. They're still killing it. And he's singing three hours, Axl's ripping it for three hours? Yes. Same with the Stones. I saw the Stones a couple years ago at CODA, the Circuit of the Americas here in town. And it was insane. Mick Jagger's a thousand years old. And he's still fucking moving on.

Button, don't rip, baby! He's still fucking dancing and all that energy. Yes. It's funny, they do like, Stones do two a week or something. Yeah. That's a really funny shit, because when we go on the road, it's like five or six. That's the way to do it though, when you're 80. Yes, yes, yes.

You know, you need recovery. Yes, yes, yes. And also Mick Jagger works out every single day. He has two trailers filled with gym equipment. Wow, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two of the trailers when they travel with the Stones is just Mick Jagger's gym equipment. What a fucking stud, a light little body. That guy looks like he weighs 120 or something. He looks like 120. He's ripped still. 80 years old, he's got a six pack.

Got the manly arms ready. Yeah, fucking ready to go and still has his pipes still can sing yeah Oh, yeah, and Keith Richard could still play it was incredible Watching them live was I couldn't believe they were there Yeah, it was one of those things where like I was almost like I was I felt like I was on drugs It was like am I really seeing the Rolling Stones are they're actually there like I could throw a rock And I could hit Mick Jagger with a round. He's right there I know and then how exciting like when Keith and Ron look at each other and laugh. Yeah, they laugh together. Fuck

They're still enjoying it. Yeah, and when we were kids there were no old rock stars, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's right, right? Yeah, yeah, they didn't they didn't Elvis You know he died in the 70s right so he was already dead This is already dead. Right? Yeah. Yeah, you know, he died in the 70s, right? So he was already dead And so when we were kids, we thought of rock stars is like Van Halen young wild people on stage jumping around That's a young man's game. Yeah, no one ever anticipated 80 year old rock star singing rock and roll in their 80s By the way, I heard David Lee on your show your show yeah he's been on a couple times man i mean that band to me when i was in high school i think i was in ninth grade the first time i fucking heard him i was into sabbath my brother got me into sabbath and then i heard i was walking up to a fucking party as like one of my first house keg parties and van halen was

blaring over somebody's pioneer system and it was fucking like ain't talking about love it's yeah I remember just gone what this is the greatest shit I've ever oh yeah they were the Kings in the 80s dude they were the Kings when I was in high school yes everybody knew how to make that Van Halen logo on your notebook yeah yeah the notebook it was either VH Queen AC DC Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they were the Kings they were the Kings Yeah, but you know we never thought like we never thought they'd be still doing it No, that's right, and then then you'd see Van Halen the last few years

Live and you fucking be still as excited. Yeah, look smooth as shit I saw with David Lee Roth maybe four or five years ago. He's he's such a character man Oh, you know he doesn't have a phone He doesn't have he doesn't even keep money on him I went to dinner with him and he has a lady that drops him off with me And it's like she's like his handler and she says I have her number. She has my number She's like call me if anything goes wrong You know and just you're hanging out with David Lee Roth having dinner with him

I know I love him talking about fighting with you and Because you loved him throwing those crazy roundhouse kicks. Oh, yeah, he was a real martial artist Yeah, he's a train with Benny or key does that's right. right. Yeah. Yeah, he's he used to do those things on stage We do like a jumping split kick in the middle of the year. I'm believe look at him. Yeah, he's a real athlete Yeah, yeah, absolutely. He's a stud fucking sweet dick on him right there Picture he's got his pants hanging down. Yeah, just just enough to show a little hip showing some dick root He's a character man still to this day. He's out to lunch man. He'll say say some interesting shit He's smart knows knows his shit whatever he's into he's deep into it that guy moved to Japan

To train kendo which is a sword fighting art right right right just him and his dog Yeah, lived in an apartment in Japan for like years man just training Kendo I fucking anytime you heard that they weren't getting along you were just like hey what yeah fucking you know yeah anytime it would for fucking people yeah much shit's gonna go wrong yeah especially those egos and the bands and then girlfriends don't like that guy. Right, right, yeah that shit happens. It's like Valerie Bertinelli apparently didn't get along with David Lee Roth. Oh, okay, yeah, that's gonna be painful.

That's how it goes. It's hard for bands to stick together, you know? I think that's way harder. I remember you two would always be in interviews talk about how cool it is that there's still a rock band together. Yeah. Four of them loving each other. If you can get a band that enjoys each other's company, that's a fucking tremendous, tremendous

asset. Because so many bands like I was just reading today that Pete Townsend doesn't talk to the rest of the guys in the who he doesn't talk to Roger Daltrey They don't talk to each other. Wow. How that's funny, man. I just saw them I just saw the who had a benefit and they fucking destroy was Daltrey's benefit and he Brought the who on there and I think the drummer was maybe Ringo's kid and If I remember or it's either Ringo's kid or John Bonham's kid or meh Anyways, it was great. But Pete and Roger were funny as shit ragging on each other and saying quick little insults And it was like massive laughs like a comedian

But then they'd fucking have those hits that just take your whole body over and it was great. Yeah, I don't know where they stand now or why they stand that way, but I was just reading an article this morning. Yeah. Oh yeah? That they don't talk to each other. Makes sense.

They, like I remember hearing Sabbath on tour would fucking all show up in different planes. I don't know if any of it's true, but you're like, fucking Tony Iommi and Ozzy don't fucking hang out the whole time. Well, there's always a problem in the band where the lead singer becomes the number one guy and everybody else is kind of secondary. Yeah, yeah, that's going to make you piss. The band's called Van Halen, but the main guy's David Lee Roth. That's the guy everybody wants.

Ain't talking about love. Man, you know. Badass. Yeah. Oh my god hot for teacher He was the man and so like I could see how egos and feathers would get ruffled and then the girlfriend aside like You know the fans name Van Halen's not name be rough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah definitely definitely Fuck that guy's then you got to stand behind it. He's got all the groupies and yeah, man. Well, but they had some him and Eddie both had the different people who would talk about who's the greatest

it'd be like David Lee Roth was just the smoothest and funniest and fucking one of the greatest front men of all time. Fuck it. For sure. He was like a stand-up just dominated the crowd just like I think there was some tape going around with, remember, remember some shit just like, that's okay man because after the show I'm gonna fuck your girlfriend. I don't know maybe that was David Lee Roth or somebody else but as a kid you were like, oh my god fucking what that was the coolest shit ever. But then I remember Eddie Van Halen when the when jump came out the video and Seeing him smile and throw down that fucking lead and he was just like is that the coolest fuck on the planet with like overall? Oh, yeah, no shirt over. I went with the fucking no shirt overalls move one time really didn't go over

Don't stage didn't get the respect now does the stand-up? But I'm gonna get more respect. But I was on stage at a battle of the bands. I used to sing and play guitar in a band. And I went, I think my mom tie-dyed my overalls and shit, and I was like, I'm gonna do it. I'm going. And I showed up, and people were making too much eye contact with me, not wanting to look down at the fucking overalls. It's a bold choice. It was one I couldn't make now.

One of the funniest choices is what, if you look back at like the metal days, like you look back at like all the guys who dressed up like gay bikers. Right, right, right. It's from Judas Priest. Judas Priest. It's Rob Halford. Yeah. He tricked everybody and he's dressed up like gay bikers. Right, right, right. From Judas Priest. Judas Priest. It's Rob Halford. Yeah. He tricked everybody into dressing like a gay biker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he was gay. I loved it, yes. So he's like leather pants and the fucking leather biker helmet on and a vest with no shirt on underneath. Yes. And all these guys started dressing like that.

Yes, yes, yes. And they didn't even understand that they had been tricked into dressing like a gay biker. Yeah, yeah, I love that, man. That's a great one, man. He was so cool. I saw them at fucking Radio City with Iron Maiden. Really? That was a biggie. Wow. I was up in the balcony screaming screaming I want to dress like you. Yeah yeah yeah I mean come on dude fucking the hellion Man, oh wow They were nasty they were nasty. That's the top looking guy. Thank God man. Yeah, that was a little there with this fucking crazy outfits Yeah

It's just so funny all the different styles of bands that exist. Oh, man. I had fucking pleather pants I wore fake leather pants for a bit. I didn't know my body wasn't great. So I was like, you throw that shit on, you look like a rockstar. Then I'd fucking see the pictures that my mom took of me after I looked back and be like, how the fuck did you let me out wearing that shit? It never fit just right. I never had the body for like, I would walk into a clothing store growing up. There was a place, you know, Sarah Silverman, the comedian? Sure, yeah, I know Sarah. She grew up in the same town as me and her parents had a store called Junior Deb, I believe,

and it was downtown. They sold Levi jeans and all that shit. And I remember just going, okay, I'm going to get some cool ass Levi's go to school look like a badass and I remember when I would see and when I saw a three-way mirror I was like these aren't fitting me like I thought yeah they don't look I don't look as cool my Levi's as I thought I was you had an idea of your image I want I wanted I saw other people wearing that shit going all right I'm gonna dress like that guy, but it didn't reflect the same when I had it on. Again, youthful delusion.

Delusion, yeah. Yeah, did you wanna be in a band before you wanted to be a comic? Mm-hmm, wanted that for sure. What kind of music did you guys sing? We did a lot of Aerosmith, a lot of Van Halen, a lot of Sabbath, Zeppelin. Aerosmith just canceled their tour. I, I guess Steve and Tyler, you know

He had that neck injury where he fell and and broke one of the bones in his neck Yeah, and apparently he just can't sing open his mouth this thing well, they were planning on doing a thing with the black crows and Yeah, and they just for whatever reason you know decided to put the tour out and get get going and then he started and he was like I can't do it anymore that is painful yeah because the guy's whole life was that and by the way fucking did you like Aerosmith growing up loved them they were the the bad boys that every tune was nasty oh

yeah that nasty push that microphone up to your face sorry bro no and and uh yeah they I loved my band played literally like ten Aerosmith tunes we'd always fucking play kind of cool ones not not the massive hits but the whatever the mama kins and they're walking the dog and yeah kind of cool shit like well we both grew up in New England and they were and the walking the dog and kind of cool shit like that. Well we both grew up in New England and they were the kings. They were the kings of New England. They were the kings. Yes, yes.

They were the fucking band. WAAF. Look at that. Yeah, AAF, fuck yeah. Joe Perry, yeah. BCN. Yeah, BCN, AAF. What was that kind of alternative?

Steven Tyler. He was the fucking man. Yeah, could hit every fucking... How about the fact that I read something that, yeah, he's a cool bastard. And I met him, and they're all great guys. Joe Perry, he's a great guy, too. Fucking best.

That's a New England accent, too, on Joe Perry. Oh, yeah. It's funny to hear the boys talk. I think somebody lived in New Hampshire. Maybe Steven Tyler lived in New Hampshire, because that's where I grew up. And they definitely in New Hampshire, because that's where I grew up, and they definitely they owned New Hampshire.

Well they were the kings of Boston. They were fucking gigantic. I remember the controversy when they did that song with Run DMC when they did Walk This Way. What the fuck? I know, everybody was like, what's going on? That don't make no sense, I know. Meanwhile, that's a fucking great song.

I was like, my fucking Aerosmith. Yeah, they became the Kings again exactly that was their big comeback song They're kind of faded for a while yeah, and walk this way came along and I was like great young people started getting into them again Absolutely, yeah, it's funny how bands like they get you know like, like generational, right? Even though they're great, like, ah, that's the people that listened in the 70s, fuck those people. You know, now we listen to this. And all it takes is one thing and then people start going through the catalog and going, Jesus Christ, these guys are incredible. I was doing, fuck, who the fuck was I listening to?

I play a lot of the old shit for my kids. And then all of a sudden you just go, wow, they had so many. Bangers. Bangers, yeah. Yeah, especially the young drug-taking days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The wild, the wild, Aerosmith days.

The first three albums kind of shit. Like Zeppelin too, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that, I mean, it's a different world. Yeah. Every comic wants to be a rock star and I think most rock stars want to be comics. Yeah, there's mean it's a different world. Yeah, every comic wants to be a rock star And I think most rock stars want to be comics. Yeah, there's some of that

Something about the freedom of comedy that they appreciate. Yes, you don't have a band. You don't need anybody All you need is a microphone. I don't have sound guys. You don't have anybody can you believe that? Yeah That's my biggest mistake is I fucking use music in my act. So I gotta I my piano player dan buller. He's the best. I love having Him being together on the road looking back and we laugh together. That's the greatest part but the the Back in the day when I just had a mic and didn't have to show up with shit and that really is makes it like oh It's amazing. Yeah. When I would do these big places like the TD Garden,

one of the things that would strike me is like, we're just showing up. There's no trucks. It's just a stage. And me and three of my buddies, and that's it. And 16,000 people. But bands play here, and they have fucking trucks and shit. All these people have to break down the stage. They're there. And 16,000 people, but bands play here, and they have fucking trucks and shit. I know, I know.

All these people have to break down the stage, they're there, all the fucking pyrotechnics and all the crazy shit these guys have. Right, right, I know, I know, we're cool, we're cool, we did good, we chose the right career. For us. For us, yeah. Until you watch a rock band, you go,

man, they're kicking our ass, man. It's definitely something different Right. I mean rock is kind of like a drug. There's something about going to see a band. That's that's really good It's like your your the music hits your body. Yeah, it overwhelms you. Yeah, like a drug. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, for sure the right tune. Yeah, fuck you up. So Agree who who was who were like some of your first concerts as a kid in first concert I saw it was Jay Giles band. You did. Yeah, that's with Peter That's as cool as it gets back in the sample days that Aerosmith and Jay Giles you can battle

Oh, yeah, man, awesome back then Jay Giles was the fucking man when I was in high school Yeah, see him. I saw George Thorogood there you go Johnny winter Yeah, I saw a bunch of bands. Where'd you see him in and I don't remember. I wish I could remember Worcester Worcester sure Wester Coliseum Yeah, is that what it was? Yeah, I think so yeah, then I got a job when I was 19 I worked at Great Woods you did yeah, Yeah. Yeah. Fuckin I played there. What a feeling that was Yeah, because we saw so many shows growing up I saw a lot of comics there too when I saw some comics there when I got paid

Yeah, and then some comics there I paid to see them right like I saw Kinnison there. I paid to see it Yeah, that's cool, man. Yeah, that was those I saw Cosby there I saw I saw Rodney there when I was working They got he was backstage naked with a bathrobe on yeah Yeah, that's a big Rodney those the Rodney days where the bathrobe days. Okay, baby Yeah, yeah, he would go on stage with a bathrobe just to make him feel comfortable Yeah, yeah, just was completely naked with a bathrobe on and just Murder the best And I mean, murder.

And this was before I'd even thought about doing standup. I was 19. Fuck, man. But I got to see. You saw Kinnison. Kinnison always dressed bad ass. Like a rock star. He fucking had the big long leather coat on and a beret.

Yeah. That was just after I'd heard about Kinnison, too. I had heard about Kinnison from a girl that I was working with. I was working at, besides doing security guard work, I was working at the Boston Athletic Club in South Boston. Wow, yeah. So I was a trainer. That's still there, right?

Yeah, I think so. I think they got a fucking basketball court there. Yeah, they got basketball. There was a lot of racquetball there. I met Bobby Orr there. You did? That's cool. I had to help Bobby Or because Bobby or had had like

Fucking 150 knee surgeries right his knees were destroyed, and you'd have to help him get on the versaclimber machine Oh my goodness Bobby's knees didn't bend right Bobby's knees bended like this much right he had like 12 inches of movement His knees and so you'd have to like kind of help them get on the versaclimber machine Wow me one of the greatest athletes of all Time you watch them play racquetball, and you just kind of fall over yeah, because you know Put it all out there. Yeah, also the knee surgeries back then yeah, okay, right so primitive Why just use staples and fucking? You see a certain age you see different scars on guys. Oh his knees. That's Bobby's knees. Oh

Yeah, his knees are destroyed that sucks man man. What a hero what a stud always loved him He had 20 knee surgeries fucking insane was that your team the Bruins. I didn't really watch sports Why oh yeah, you didn't know once I got into martial arts I really didn't care about any it's pretty cool man cool, man, that you didn't, because I know that's the biggest sport town. Oh, it was a huge sport town. Everybody called me a pussy, because I didn't know anything about football, basketball, baseball. I didn't care.

I was like... That's pretty good that you had your own thought process going. I would join right in with trying to make the other kids drop in something. Well, when I was 15, I just became obsessed with martial arts. That's great. I didn't care about anything else. I literally didn't care about anything else.

I'd watch basketball, I'd be like, this is nonsense. Who cares if that ball goes in that hole? Fucking cool, man. That doesn't mean anything to me. My dad always told me to do that shit. He'd be like, do martial arts, do martial arts. And I, like I said, I went to this guy's, I wish I knew his name and

I did that and then I think a little early in life. I tried it out, but I just my body man I wasn't meant for it. It's not for everybody. No, it's good though. That's like everything in life Things that are not for you. Yeah, you just got to find the thing that is for you Yeah, I found a few and that's all I do Hope comedy. That's it. Perfect. I got for a life. Yeah, I found a few and that's all I do. Hoop, comedy, that's it. Perfect. That's all you need for a happy life. Yeah, I guess so. So this girl I used to work with, she was like a volleyball player and she was really hilarious and she was working at the front desk and she was like, oh my god I saw this guy. This is 1986 is when Kinnison had his HBO special and she told me about it. She's like, there's this guy and his name is Sam Kinnison And she chooses you know that bit he did about homosexual necrophilia necrophiliacs

Yeah, paying money to spend a few hours undisturbed with the freshest male corpses remember that bit I kind of she told me about this bit in that we're hanging out in the parking lot of the Boston Athletic Club this girl is lying down on her stomach on the ground and she's like, oh, oh, life keeps fucking in the ass even after you're dead. It never ends. And I was laughing so hard. And I remember like this girl, just her doing Kinesin's bit made me go to the video store to get a VHS of Kinesin's special.

Because the first time I saw it, it came out on video. And then I watched it, I was like, oh my god and that was like the first seed in my head where I was like, okay this is comedy too? Because I didn't know that was comedy I thought comedy was like something I really liked but it was so different than me it was nothing that I would ever do

it was just different it was like, I didn't see myself that way but I saw that guy, I'm like, that guy's a fucking animal like this is a different kind of comedy And that was like the first seeds in my head that I had of doing comedy Yeah, that's amazing and then I got to see him live at great woods, but I saw a Bon Jovi there I saw a fucker so everybody I quit the night Neil Young was there and they had a riot Really?

Yeah. In New England, huh? Well, the lawn, you know how Mansfield, Great Woods has that lawn out there? Well, it was cold out and people were starting fires on the lawn. So they were like starting these little bonfires and we had to break up the fires and then brawl started breaking out. And I always knew that this job was like you know what did you get paid like 20 bucks an hour I'm not gonna fight somebody for 20

bucks an hour this is crazy so I always carried a hoodie with me and so I had my security shirt and then as soon as shit would go south I put the hoodie on like I'm out of here that night I quit oh yeah I quit the night that's money man. Yeah Yeah, 20 bucks to get in a full-on brawl. Yeah, there was brawls breaking out left and right the first night I was there. Yeah, I watched one of the security guys beat this guy with a walkie-talkie And I was like Jesus what did I sign up for? There's a crazy job so cuz some guy had stole one of the golf carts and there was this dude named Alley cat So cuz some guy had stole one of the golf carts and there was this dude named alley cat Who was the head of security there? Uh-huh and alley cat tackled this guy and he's beating him in the head with a walkie-talkie

Wow, man, and I was like, whoa, okay. What did I sign up for? Did you did you get in fights after you learn your shit like no, no, that's cool No, no, and I avoided them all that's not interested in fire I would like fights where they were planned You know like meeting a guy and no you mean it no like tournaments. Yeah, that's cool boxing matches I do a lot of those but those to me made sense like fighting on the street It's like no like people have guns people have knives. This is fucking stupid sure I was always Like people have guns people have knives. This is fucking stupid sure I was always

Nervous yeah, like I'm not I never felt like you get in a fight with someone someone hits you in the back of the head With a bat also yeah fight someone. It's that's never the end like they're gonna go get their cousins. They're gonna get their brother They're gonna try to find you when you're alone. That's true. You don't want that kind of problem in your life Just move on oh, it's so easy to take take Whatever they're throwing at you with like that's supposed to start the fight. Just being on. Yeah. Okay that that makes sense You're right. I am a piece of shit Well, it all means nothing someone says it only means something to you if you believe them yes You know someone says you're a pussy like okay What does that mean? This is mean anything? Yeah? You're just saying words until you try to hit me. This is nonsense

It's like oh you have a bad opinion of me. Oh, that's okay Like I don't really care like I know so I was tired all the time because I was training like six seven days Wow, so I was like I don't want to be involved in this stupid shit, right? Yeah, I already worked out today I can't fight you also. I was very aware I don't want to be involved in this stupid shit. Right, yeah. I already worked out today. I can't fight you. Also, I was very aware of the consequences of violence. By the time I was 21 years old, I had probably seen 40 or 50 people get knocked unconscious. Right. At least.

What a terrible sight that is. Probably a lot more than that. I've seen so many people snore. It's just on the ground twitching and snoring. I've seen so much of that. Yeah. I grew up with that. So it's like to me, I was like, I don't want none of that in my life.

I don't want to have anything to do with this, especially outside of fighting. Yeah. Concrete floors and shit. Head hitting the ground. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. KJ worked with a guy in Long Island when KJ was a bouncer.

Right. And this guy killed a guy. He punched a guy and the guy fell, hit his head died. Yeah. Yeah now the guy has to go to jail No, you're working as a bouncer just like I was working as a body as a security guard in Great Woods Like you could have gotten a fight hit someone now you're in jail. Yeah, and you look for what holy shit. Yeah That's that's so cool. You worked at Great Woods So that's like the what a destination to go to and see so many great fucking bands.

You know, it's funny, you said Kinnison. I used to be on MTV when I was young and we'd go to Daytona Beach. You were on remote control, right? I was on remote control. That's right. Quinn, Quinn got me on there. Yes.

And it was the best. But we went to a spring break, Daytona Beach, and Kinnison was at the height. And I went to, it was the first guy I saw at an arena. Kinnison and some other bad boys. So some guys, I forget their names, but they opened for me. Probably Carl LeBeau. Yeah, yeah, Carl LeBeau, right?

And a couple other guys. They're all kind of really funny, tough bastards. The outlaws of comedy. Yeah, that's it That's right. That's what it was and I saw a canister and destroy And it was it was like I saw Rodney at a theater in Florida where it felt like fucking Holy shit. This is a rock show cuz it was bam bam Yeah, Ron Rodney rapid fire like a machine gun Hey, I'm the best Rodney would crush for like eight minutes and then go I know a lot of fucking jokes, baby

And they go you know that was so cool man, but kineson to just took over you saw him in the moment It was amazing yeah, I got to see kineson decline, too I got to see the decline because I saw him a couple of times live. And the last time I saw him live, it was in New Hampshire, and there was not that many people there. I drove to this theater with this girl that I was dating. I was probably 20 at the time. Again, it was before I did comedy.

And he was just, it was already like, boozing heavy. And it wasn't as good. Because he peaked in 86. I feel like the Kinnison from 86 is probably one of the greatest comedians that ever lived, if not the best. He was a monster. He was a monster. But the guy was doing blow and drinking and hanging out with rock stars and just partying.

His brother wrote about it. Did you ever read his brother's book? Brother Sam? His brother Bill. It's a great book. It's a great book. If you're a fan of Stand Up, I tell anybody, go buy that book because it's a great book. Bill said that you could see the drop off in Sam's material because he just stopped

writing. He wasn't hungry anymore. He had made it. Because there's this hunger inside of him to make it as a comedian and that's what led him to be outrageous, do all those jokes about the starving kids in Africa and all these different jokes he did that were just so outrageous and that preacher's voice and that fucking powerful delivery. Yeah, but then when he made it man He got real fat and just just drinking every night He was started wearing the bandana or bandana days the rockstar days. It just dropped off

It wasn't the same. It was like a caricature of Kinnison. That's funny. It just happens It happens that when you're drinking or doing whatever the fuck it was. I got a coke. Yeah, sure I think that's the best the one that really like well that makes you not think straight Yeah, definitely all over the place you fucking you can't stay steady with a thought. Yeah But I remember I met him a couple times Paulie sure was very tight with him Yeah, and I knew Pauline I hung out with them. And I knew Pauline. I hung out with Kinnison a couple times, but I saw him at the improv the last time I saw him and he was a little, he was so sweet. He was so nice to me. And he remembered that we hung a little bit. I was a young fucking dummy and he was

nice to me. And he had that kind of glazed, had a few too many in the eyes but he was just, he definitely was, when he walked into the fucking improv that night, every comedian was like, well holy shit, there he is, the fucking man. Right. You know, that was cool. He changed comedy. He really did. Yeah.

Because there was no comedy like that before Kinnison came around. He was a different kind of comedy Mm-hmm. It's like all the sudden comedy was like you could yell Oh my god, that was the biggest force He was just like in the preacher's voice that thing that he added where they had that charisma of being this. Yeah Revival preach. Yes. Yes. Everybody we talk quiet Revival preach yes, yes, everybody we talk quiet Blast yeah, oh my god, and he was a legend at the store You know when I got to the store goes through these errors right and when I got to the store

It was 94 and the Kinnison era had ended He died and then there was this big drop-off like the store was kind of vacant when I got there in 94 It was weird like the shows would be half empty and uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, they were having problems Yeah, yeah But they all had these stories all the guys like Harris Pete and the guys that were still around they don't have these stories about When Kinnison was there yeah, he would perform at midnight and around 1130 all these rock stars would start showing up Yeah movie stars right yeah, and they would all go there to see kinson Yeah, so he had the midnight spot

Fucking cool, and they would all go and I remember thinking imagine people coming to the comedy store Just to see you yeah, I must be so insane fucking cool as far Oh, it was the coolest because it was all just word-of-mouth Yeah, everybody this is like 84 ish Before he popped, everybody just knew about him. Rock, rock, I remember Chris was in Vegas and I went to see him with Nicholson and Jim Brooks. Wow. And we were sitting there and fucking Nicholson was laughing his ass off and I had that thought you

just had I was just going fucking rock is so cool right people fucking fly an hour like where is he let me go see him they sit back and laugh and I fucking just going shit rock you really are fucking stud oh yeah the bring the pain days bigger and blacker and bring the pain to the greatest specials of all unbelievable of all time. Unbelievable. Flawless. Flawless. Yeah, yeah, he's a badass.

I talked to Roc yesterday, just for like 10 minutes or something, and we got really excited about standup again. I go, you're right, and he goes, I kinda am, I kinda, like he can't stop. When he was doing his tour, he was like, I need a break, blah, blah, blah. He just did like a fucking year on the road or some shit.

And then he's right back to like, got some ideas. Yeah, I think that's a good way to do it. Take a little break and just refresh your mind so you're not running stale. Of course. Because he did a live special too. His live special was fuck, I loved it. Yeah, and it was also like the build up because of getting slapped by Will Smith and all that crazy shit Yeah, yeah, yeah

I think that was like the best thing that ever happened to him because then he became like wild again Like his standard was like outrageous like it was like the rock of old it that that night was Like watching a fucking Super Bowl. He was just like what what it's a live event. Holy fuck. What the fuck? Yeah, he was a badass and I think he had some white shit on, and he looked cool as fuck, and you were waiting for him to talk about it, and he got to it, and he got fucking excited. Well, he didn't talk about it for a while on stage.

He would tell people, if you think I'm going to talk about it, I'm not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He wanted to be ready, and he wanted to really think about what he was gonna Say and how that's that's cuz of where we are in life Where anything you say is fucking on the internet the next day So the next I gotta be careful and not blow this shit up. Also, they were right when the bits

Yes, people would just tell the bits and yeah, it wasn't even ready yet Yeah, exactly because if you have a life-changing event like getting slapped at the Oscars in this most preposterous Scenario the whole thing was preposterous. Yeah, I think for him was also a wake-up call like hey these motherfuckers Don't really care about me and in that moment. Yeah. Yeah, they didn't protect me Nobody stopped it. He went back and sat down and then he got an award afterwards He got a standing ovation what the fuck is going on here? Fucking weird yeah, because you want you always want to be that guy Who's hosting the Oscars and who's starring in the big movies? And yeah, that's what everybody wanted everybody wanted to be the big movie star, but then you realize like well these people are fuckers

You know like what did you do? How did you set this up? How come nobody tackled him? I have fucking weird moment. Oh Live weirdest yeah, it's like a guy just showing his ass like you just pulled your pants down showed the world your ass Like why did you do? Yeah? He probably doesn't he probably wakes up in the middle of night Why did I do that whole thing was sucks? Oh? Beyond it was almost like a guy who doesn't know how normal people act thinking this is what you're supposed to do. Go smack that guy. It became fucking just went to a place that he couldn't get out of and started it. And still there. He's still

there in everybody's mind. When you see Will Smith. Oh, he slapped Chris Rock That's like I mean not I am legend not Muhammad Ali not insanely good movies Yeah, guys an incredible actor absolutely he's been in so many banger movies He's a fucking blockbuster movie star and people see him they go. Oh, he slapped Chris Rock fuck that fucking sucks It's god damn it terrible sucks man fucking Yeah, it's it follows you around it sucks, but uh, but my man Rock and The kinesins like in the that shit when you when you spread it that happens like once every fucking eight years or something where somebody

Becomes this shit. Yeah every now and then someone pops through and it elevates all of us Yeah, everybody that gets to see it. They go. Oh my god. I want to be better. I want to write more Yeah, when I used to see Chris at the store. Yeah, whatever Chris would come in and you do a set I'd watch and I'd be like oh my god I remember one time I was fucking in the back of the room and this comic Stood in front like while was watching Chris. he's like dude I gotta get on your podcast I'm like you gotta get the fuck away from me I'm watching Chris Rock why aren't you watching Chris Rock? He's one of the greats and he's on stage right now and you're talking to me.

Holy shit. Get the fuck out of here. That's so funny man. That guy's never been on my podcast to this day. Awww. Like get out of here. You ruined the moment. Get the fuck out of here! You ruined the moment. Get the fuck out of here. Dude, he, Rock is, never wasted a fucking minute on stage.

Always trying shit out, always, either notebook or just trying to remember or whatever. Never fucking got tense with the crowd. Just like, they're not liking this, but I'm liking it, so I'm gonna keep going. Well he would do this thing where he would go on stage and he would just have raw premises and he was so comfortable with total silence yes yes where it wasn't going well and then he would catch fire mm-hmm and then start killing yeah man and then they're like oh it is Chris Rock yeah he was like using them as like a sounding board you're and he would tell them like I'm practicing. Yeah, you know the same

I remember one time he went on Somebody fucking killed and he went on and the first thing he said hold on relax. It ain't gonna be that funny All right, right, right told them. Yeah, yeah, it's gone down exactly. I'm working on some shit Yeah, but that's how you develop a monster hour. You have to start off with building a structure Yeah, man get a foundation. Yeah, you fucking, even your first night of the tour, by the last night you're going, now that's my act now.

The friends who saw you the first two nights, you're like, fuck, I wish you would have seen me fucking. Couple weeks later I figured out that bit. Yeah, you don't want anybody to see you when you're doing a workout set. Like, get the fuck out of here. This is a workout set like get the fuck out man This is a workout set this could be terrible this could end bad especially when a buddy sees you yeah like that What a feeling yeah, there's no dismount here. Yeah Yeah, it's like it's interesting how those guys like like a guy like rock or kinesin or Louie or anybody who's just like really?

Killing it yeah, it elevates everybody around you yeah, man everybody everybody gets a little better because of that or Louie or anybody who's just like really killing it. Yeah. It elevates everybody around you. Yeah, man. Everybody gets a little better because of that. I fucking agree. I think Rock was on stage and just killed one time, and I remember Jon Stewart, who was probably 24 at the time, I think I was like 18 or 20 or whatever our age differences,

Jon Stewart goes, I don't I quit Well, you know, that's what Eric claps and said when he saw Jimi Hendrix, yeah, so Jimi Hendrix is like, what am I doing? Well, especially a guy like Hendrix that comes along and he's doing something completely different than everybody else Everybody else is playing guitar. They're all great. And then all sudden this guy comes Oh that was a nasty one when I work with Phil Hartman, he told me a story when he was 18 years old he worked at the whiskey and He told me a story when he was 18 years old, he worked at the whiskey. And his job was, they had those stage monitors

and sometimes the stage monitors, the artists would accidentally kick them and they would go into the crowd. So his job was this, cause they were, you ever been to whiskey? Yeah, sure. Small stage, right? Not that big.

And so when he would, he'd have to stand there, like to be prepared to like catch the speaker Uh-huh and Hendrix. Yeah was right there like where you are Yeah, Hendrix was uh-huh, and he was 18 years old. He's a good dude. It was insane That's so funny. I was cuz Phil could play a little guitar, too But he was watching he's like I'm watching literally the greatest guitarist of all time Yes, and he's three feet away from me That's fucking cool, man. It's saying and then Phil did all the the album covers and shit, man

You do the other one of them out here. What are you framed? Yeah, man one of his album covers. He did a bunch He's a great artist. He was a very interesting guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he can do so many different things Yeah, he studied so he made me feel like such a fraud because he would study his lines and he would have like little Post-it tabs well different colored ones for different scenes and you have notes and all these different things and he he would like Prepare for me be preparing the mirror. Yes. Yes. Yes. I was like, you know, he was the pro for sure such a pro With everything I know man, like when we were doing the show He was getting his pilot's license. So like yeah every day in between scenes. He'd be like reading these pilots manual Yeah, he was just like a real man to something

Yeah, yeah, I lived in the same apartment building when I was on SNL as Phil Oh, why I'd see it we'd go up on the elevators together and talk about shit I was you know, of course he was older. So you were just excited that he'd be talking to you Yeah, he was cool motherfucker. Yeah, I remember the first day on the set of news radio like I couldn't believe he was really there Yes, I was like looking over across the table. Yeah in the table read. Yeah, how did I get on this fucking show? I didn't add zero acting like I did this. How did you get it? This the craziest story the whole thing's crazy. I did MTV half-hour comedy hour, right? I feel like whatever five seven minutes. Who was the host joiner? Yeah, Mario joiner

Yeah, so I did MTV half-hour comedy hour. I got a development deal out of nowhere Wow I'm too big MTV was offering me a development deal and then my. Wow. MTV was offering me a development deal. And then my manager started saying it was very little money. It was like 500 bucks. They were going to lock me up for like three years. It was crazy low money. It was so stupid. But you would join. But I was like thinking about it. You want me, let's do it. Yeah. I was thinking about it because this is like after remote control and they'd made Dennis Leary famous. Yes. They decided they were going to lock people up to deals now because Leary got famous off that then he took off and then kind Of went away from MTV. I see so they had decided that they were gonna lock up talent

So right, so if I did this pilot the pilot got picked up I would have been there. So my manager said he said I have an idea and so he decided to send my MTV tape out to all these studios and say this guy's about to sign a development deal for For MTV locked up, but he's still available. So then I started getting all these folks like people call my apartment I was at home like hello and like hi, this is Bob a Bob from Universal You know, right we want to get you on a plane right now to Los Angeles. I was like what Wow So I called my manager called sussy and I was like was like hey, dude these fucking people are calling my apartment. He goes don't answer your phone He goes go to the pool hall don't answer the phone and he goes just leave it all to me

And so within like three weeks I had this crazy deal for like a hundred fifty thousand dollars Which is the most money I'd ever even heard of my life and all of a sudden I was in Hollywood Like out of nowhere so that I was on a city with like CBS was with Disney. We did. Oh wow, which is crazy because I was filthy Right. Yeah, yeah, but they were and also never deal with Disney and I'm on the market for that much money come and so I Had to get action lessons. I took a few acting lessons. Yeah, I did it. I was like this is gross Yeah, and then but I knew how to just pretend I'm like I pretend on stage I'll just pretend like sitcom acting is pretty easy, right? And so all of a sudden I'm on this sitcom it gets cancelled and I'm like, oh I was thinking about moving back to New York

But I was like I hated LA. I hated being around actors. I couldn't joke around with them. They were all so sensitive Right was on pills. They're all on antidepressants. We're like get me out of here. I can't do it I want to go back to comics. Yeah, and so I was ready to move back to New York and but I had got this fucking apartment I thought that the sitcom was gonna go so I got a lease on this beautiful apartment in North Hollywood I had a loft and a pool table. I thought I was ballin. Yeah, you know, I was making like 20 grand a week I was like amazing big. Yeah, crazy. I was like a merch. Yeah, so I I'm crazy. I was like, I'm rich. Yeah. So I got this apartment. I'm like, wow, I have this apartment.

I can't just leave the apartment. What the fuck do I do? Right. And so then I got another development deal. Jeez. And then, so I'd gone, I'd done two auditions in my entire life. One of them was Hardball, got that show. The other one was News Radio.

I got that show. That's fucking crazy. It was, made no sense. Made no sense. And all of a sudden I'm sitting there and I'm sitting across from Phil Hartman Yeah, I'm like this is crazy. That's a biggie. I just not I had full Going for a while it was rated was big no wasn't it was Real steam great yeah, it wasn't big until after it was cancelled. Oh, I see and then it went into syndication

How many years did it five years that's pretty good? Yeah, but it became a sure got you really big in syndication. I see I see before years I think we did five years we did like 98 shows which who else was on I forget all more Tierney She's right right Dave Foley amazing. That's right dick. Oh, yeah, and that's how I met Farley through Andy and Candy Alexander she was awesome Vicki Lewis. He was a Steven Root amazing. All right, so it was a great cast Yeah, I you know, I felt like a fraud I was like all these people have like background in theater and background and films Yeah movies and TV shows and I was like, yes dirty film made everybody feel that way Every everybody was kind of like well, he's he's he's the next level

Oh, he was the next level and he was so good. Him and Steven Root was so good too. He was the only one that wasn't even himself. Everybody else was just being a version of, well Steven Root and you know, he was a different human. Yeah. Like he was a sweet normal guy and then he would play Jimmy James and he would just fall into this character.

Yes, yes, yes. He had a character just like when he was in Office Space. Yeah, unbelievable. Yeah, so it was just. Now he bizarre being on that show because I was 26 27 When I was on the show and I was sitting big money wow, but it was also confusing I felt like such an imposter so if someone's gonna figure out that I don't blog Job that's nice though. That's a damn. That's a good person to be feeling like that I think I was a cocky fuck who was like yeah, baby. They figured it out

But I literally didn't get shit growing up I auditioned for shit and never got nobody like me really every audition They were just like I would talk to my agent after and be like, you know nervously asking What they say, you know nervously asking what they say what they say, you know Did you read the sides before I'd be like, what do you mean? That's what they said, of course I read the sides there like I thought you didn't know it that way. I go what I Thought I knew it real well. They didn't like it And you think that you're they would use words to kind of of be gentle with me but just say you're not ready yet. Yeah, well it's funny how you have confidence when you're young and you

really do think that you're ready. Like I remember thinking that like at open mic nights like you'd see someone on stage and they were bomb like, God I wish I could go up there. Yeah. Well that was terrible. Yeah. I would have bombed too. Yeah of course. Well watching another actor and you go when you were young and you see someone God, I wish I could go up there. Well, that was terrible. I would have bumped too. Yeah, of course, yes. But you want the chance. Or watching another actor and you go, when you were young and you see someone your age on a show, you'd be like, what's with the white? I could fucking crush that shit.

And then you realize looking back, oh, that guy was pretty fucking good. Yeah. Well, News Radio was fortunate because I got to play a more retarded version of myself. It was basically in a lot of conspiracy theories and Okay, and delusional. It was like a version of me. So the the writers are very they know that I say figured me out after a while and started writing stuff in that's fun. I talked to him about

Fucking UFO project Wow man top secret shit, and then they put all that kind of stuff in the script. That's cool. Because I was into stupid things. It was fascinating. You got into that shit real young. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was.

Alone in your head, or you had somebody who brought it up to you and you started going with that? Well, with conspiracies, a friend of mine who was in a band gave me a book once, while I was on the road, and it was a book called Best Ev by this guy David Lifton. It's all about the Kennedy assassination He's like you got to read this Wow me killed Kennedy. I was like what? Read this book going what the fuck I read this book It was just really funny and I went on stage after I read it and bombed

Uh-huh, and and I apologized to the club owner. I was like, look, man, I'm funnier than that. I read this fucking book. My mind wasn't right. And they're like, don't read it tomorrow. I promise I'm not going to read it tomorrow. Tomorrow night I killed. And I killed the next night.

Because I put the book down. You gotta be... I didn't bomb terrible, but it was flat. It wasn't good. I was in a weird head space. I was like, Jesus Christ, they killed the president. I was in a weird headspace. Yeah, I was like Jesus Christ They killed the president. Yeah, I was like, this is nuts. That's funny, man Wow, it fucked you up and fucked me up and then it got me down this conspiracy

Spiral yeah, I started questioning things. Yeah, it's like what else don't I know Wow I started reading about all kinds of different things that I didn't know that's fucking amazing I read this book called the strange death of Vince Foster It's all Vince Foster guy work with who worked with Clinton who got murdered. They said it was a suicide. He had the gun in his hand. There was less blood at the crime scene than was missing from his body. It seemed like his body had been transported to the crime scene.

Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ. Those things will fuck you up. Fascinating shit, yeah. If you get involved in reading books like that, get your head gets filled with that kind of shit You know Quinn was like that too. Oh, yeah, Quinn read a lot of shit and he would tell me to read stuff and I remember he knew a lot about

Crazy mass murderers and shit and I would start going what happened and he would tell me these things I remember telling my dad some of the shit Quinn told me about, I don't remember who. But I'd be like, and then this guy, and blah, blah, blah, and Ted Bundy, and this and that. And my father started getting like, is my son a fucking murderer? Why is he talking so much about murder?

Joey Diaz gave me this book called Murder Machine once. And it's about Roy DeMeo. You know Roy DeMeo once? He was a serial killer who worked for the mob Uh-huh, and he he would kill people like they had a bar downstairs and they had an apartment upstairs He would kill people and then cut him up in the bathtub upstairs Yeah, and just killed a bunch of fucking people's a horrific book, right? I remember reading that going Jesus fucking just knowing that there's people. Oh, it's terrifying

Oh my god, and you just get in the wrong fucking place at the wrong wrong guy shows up at your house. Oh boy Yeah, oh boy. Yeah, I was just like those things are terrible to read before you go on stage though Fuck your brain up. That's so funny that you ate it because of that book Oh, yeah I've eaten it a couple times because I did the wrong thing before I went on stage. One time I had a gig in New Jersey and it was a college and it was a weird place to get to. It was back in the day before navigation

so they would give you the directions over the phone. Like go to 405, get off this exit. So they give me the directions and I get there I leave early because they tell me it's really hard to get to and I get there about a half hour early Yeah, but it was hard to get I was like Jesus Christ this place hard to find Yeah, and I was working with JB smooth. Oh, wow And JB was supposed to open and I was supposed to close and they said JB's not here yet So why don't you just relax in the the rec room and sit down and we'll tell you when the show's gonna start.

So I sit down and I'm watching this documentary on the Malibu fires. And it's all these people, like, people lost their family, lost their house, houses are burned. This little kid walking around looking for his dog. Rusty, where are you, Rusty? Rusty! Yelling for their dog.

Your dog's dead, right? And then there was this fireman who was just weeping and crying because the people in this community lost his house and then they come in the green room and they go, look, JB's not here yet, so we're gonna have you open up and hopefully when you get off stage, he's gonna go up, I'm like, okay. And I'm fucking, I'm crying, I was literally crying

watching this thing about these people losing everything in these fires It was horrific. Oh my god. They just ate shit That's terrible finally JB's shows up and he showed up and he went on after me and murdered Yes, he was loose and happy Came in the right mood didn't watch that shit. Yeah, he's a killer anyway. He's very yeah Yeah, and I remember thinking god you can't do that Yeah, with my girlfriend at the time and she was like so disappointed in me like wow Oh, she's seen you kill before yeah, she knew I was funny. It's funny man with you

I go watch that fucking thing that I have similar It's not from watching something or I have moments where I'm driving to a club And I'm in this fucking mood where I'm going, oh my God, I ain't gonna fucking destroy it. I have such a, like the last two hours have been in the right mood. Maybe some fucking song comes on. I'm like, fuck that, fuck me up a little bit, that song. And then I walk in, then I'm in this fucking weird mood.

I'm a little down, I get on stage, all of a sudden I let the crowd own me. I'm like, what the fuck happened? I was so ready to kill tonight, and I fucking turned into You're in the car just just today morning Why am I here you get sad you can't get sad before you go on stage You got to protect your mind my fuck my wife helps me out sometimes when she sees my head spinning Before I go up she goes they're here to see you. Oh, it's good. They like you. You don't have to worry so much I'd be like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. They're they're here for the good time

Yeah, don't fuck then, you know, they're not testing you go have some fun with them. Yeah. Don't, you know, they're not testing you. Go have some fun with them. I go, yeah, no, no, no, you're right, you're right. And then I go, fuck, let me go on happy. Because the times I go on fucked up and being like, this guy's gonna like me or am I gonna have to fight? I'm like, I have fucked up over that. That's why, to me, one of the things I've realized early on is take people on the road with you.

Because in the early days days when I was headlining they would have like a local middle act and a local opener and Sometimes it'd be fun. That's right. And sometimes it'd be terrible. Sometimes gotta be a douchebag. Yeah, like why are you fucking closing? Step on your material like they'd see your side and then they cover the same Shit have to argue with them. Why not about that man man you do you're doing one of my fucking bits? No, man, I've been doing that bit like yeah, fuck you I think there was like a lot of sabotage going on right it just wasn't fun because then you'd be stuck in this town You didn't know anybody. Oh, yeah watching TV go the movies by the condo. Yeah, yeah depressing

Yeah, so I realized like if you could go on the road with funny people you're gonna have fun Well, it's good for them because they get a gig So I just have to pay the opening act and I'd have to pay for their airfare and I would make less money But I would have more fun. I was like more fun is more important than anything Absolutely, and it's more important for the show to go up in the right frame always and I know that the comics in front of me Are gonna be really good. Yeah. Yeah, so it are gonna be really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's gonna be a good show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want the audience to have fun, but I wanna have fun too. So then it was a party. Then I'd be on the road with Joey Diaz, and we'd be having a party everywhere we go. He's funny. We'd be just having fun, and it became family. It was like, wherever we were,

it didn't matter if we were in Ohio or New Jersey, it was us. Daytime, daytime's fun. Have dinner together, then go fucking do your shit, then stay up all night. Yeah, I know. But Joey was such a wild card. This is back in the Joey, the cocaine days. This is Coco, Joey, Coco.

Yeah, yeah. So I brought a second opening act in case Joey didn't show up. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes some sense. Because sometimes, I didn't want to tell Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes some sense. Because sometimes, I didn't want to tell him he couldn't do the gigs, hey, you're not reliable. Yeah.

Because I loved him. Of course. And I love, I'm like, the times that he's there are so magic. Sure. I want to make sure that he knows he's always got a gig. What a fucking funny one. So I'd book him, and then sometimes I'd book him, and we'd do Friday and Saturday. Yeah.

And then I'd call him on Sunday. I'd go, hey, the show's at 7 o'clock. I'm going back home. Like, what are you talking about? You know I don't do Sundays. Like, what are you talking'clock. I'm going back home I'm you know, I don't do Sundays I told you Joe Rogan, I don't do Sundays Yeah, so having a third opening act would or second opening say you gotta do longer Yeah, it would be like I bring Ari So if it was me and Ari Shaffir is like, okay does 25 minutes, and then I'll do an hour and 15 or whatever and we got a great show

Yeah, man, if Joey shows up okay ground now. We got a three-man show on him perfect. I love that so I Scheduled it just so yeah, you know we would always have some sort of a fail-safe Yeah, it's fucking way more fun, but like when I won't go out with the gang good lord. Yeah Yeah, you're having fun. It's with the gang good lord. Yeah, good time Yeah, you're having fun. It's fucking and you write shit Yeah, you want it cuz you want to make them laugh exactly instead of doing the same fucking shit over and over you're just like Hey, I'm gonna try some new shit out tonight, and then your buddies come out watch in yeah Yeah, and you watch them and you go yeah, yeah, yeah, and you have a deal their shit

Yeah, you're you're having a good time. You steal their shit. Yeah, but you're having a good time. Everyone's having a good time. Which to me was like way more important than making X amount of thousand dollars more. I'd rather give them that money and then we all have fun. Yeah, yeah. That to me was the best way. When I was real young, I started at 17 and I had a car.

And so I used to get booked a lot because I would drive the good guys, you know? Right. But I noticed that it was always three of us, me and the two other fucking guys who were good, and they would have the best time together. They fucking think I suck, but it was fine. I was just getting to be with the guys who were like 25.

I was 17, 18, they were 25, shooting the shit, you You know getting into trouble, but going on stage and destroying but and then you'd see him fucking hanging in the hotels and shit and Always having the best night and I'd be like yeah, that seems like the way I was on my own still They would kind of be like that fucking Adam guy. He'll take us home, but he's I done I didn't think he was that funny, but but fucking learn from seeing these superstar guys on the road fucking have fun Isn't it funny how sometimes those guys always think of you as that guy if they the relationships are the same exactly They still like hey, what's up? They're like? I know you fucking went on and when you sucked yes exactly Which is why you talk to them. Yeah, hometown. And you talk back to them. Yeah.

You talk, I still let them own me, these guys. I'm like, all right, all right, you did see me suck. You're right. Well, that's why you have to get out of your town, because they always remember you as an open micer. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I didn't get any, like, headlining gigs in Boston. Wow.

Where did you play? You played Stitches? Stitches, Nick's Comedyie Stop, Connection. Connection, what a room. It was a great room. The little one was the best. That tight, low ceiling. Yeah, yeah, low ceiling. 150 seats.

It was packed. Stuffed in there, bumper to bumper. It was packed, there was a fucking time. Play It Again Sam's, was that it? Oh yeah, I did play it again Sam's. Was that it? Oh yeah. Yeah, I did play it against Sam's. That place was great. What was the one that was a Chinese restaurant?

Kowloon in Saugus. In Saugus, Harry. Yeah, when the Ding Ho was the beginning. Ding Ho, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't there for that one. Oh, I think that's the one I did. That place went under a few years before I started. Uh-huh.

So when I came around, I had missed the heyday of Boston Comm. It was like 84. And I came around in 88. That's when I started around I had missed like the heyday of Boston Comm. It was like 84 and I came around in 88 That's got you got you. Okay. They always talk about the dingho and there was always I did Lenny Clark all these guys from the dingho fuck with Lenny Clark a lot of Tony B Tony somebody's guys you just couldn't fucking you just would watch them go. How the fuck can I kill like that? Well, those guys had again as you said they had the same act for like 15 years and that act was like Hammered down like a samurai sword. Yeah, it was so tight like Don Gavin so tight

He's exactly Jesus Christ. I would murder fucking Tommy sledge. Do you remember he? would pretend it to be a Private eye I backed off I moved on but he was funny as shit Sledge, do you remember he pretended to be a private eye? I backed off, I moved on, but he was funny as shit. Some of those guys, some of those guys and some of those ladies, man, they murdered and yeah. Did you ever see that documentary when Stand Up stood out?

No. Fran Salamita made this great documentary about the heyday of Boston comedy called When Stand Up Stood Out. Right, right, right. And it was all about the transition between these guys being these local comics that were as good as anyone in the world. And then Steven Wright becomes famous.

And then Steven Wright gets on The Tonight Show. He becomes this world. Was it Letterman or Tonight Show that he first did? I forget what it was, but he becomes huge. And then they're all now, everyone's like scrambling. Like, what did we do? Like we didn't have an act that translated outside of Boston. Yeah, that's true. Back then it was very Boston. Very, very local. Steven Wright definitely in my high school, holy shit, everybody knew every... It was like Rodney.

He was like right after Rodney. You'd repeat his jokes. You couldn't believe it. and everyone was like he's fucking so smart I used to work at a fire hydrant factory you couldn't park anywhere near the place yeah unbelievable ridiculous I think I tried to write like him in the beginning I think I as a stand-up did like ten different guys I didn't know who I wanted right I didn't know what was right I was doing like Bobcat kind of shit I different guys. I didn't know who I wanted right? I didn't know what was right I was doing like Bobcat kind of shit. I do a character I didn't know what the fuck but Steven right we'd always me my buddy

We'd kind of try to write in that vein of a little weird and make you think and what is what a cool joke I don't fucking know but I also remember all those guys got popped by the IRS Cuz they were in it. Yeah, they all got popped cuz no I'm paying taxes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so they all got in trouble I remember working at Nick's comedy stop. They offered you could get paid in cash or in coke Yeah, yeah, I remember those days. That's how wild those yeah those days were. Yeah, and so these guys were just animals They're all getting paid cash They were drinking and partying every night

Yeah, and they were headlining and there's one time during the heyday where Nick's comedy stop had three rooms running simultaneously Yeah, and they'd have two shows a night in each room So these guys are six sets and they were making bank and they all had a deal Like the way Nick's Nick's had them set up where they were Nix Comics exclusives. So they would just work for Nix. But they gave you so much work. You didn't want to branch out. You didn't want to do the road. They booked the road too, right? They've had a few road gigs.

I remember Bill Downs was the... Oh yeah, Connection. He used to book me on the road too. I worked for a private investigator when I was starting out, when I was an open mic'er, and this private investigator was Bill Downs' cousin. I didn't find out about him until after I started working for him. Wow.

And to this day, one of the funniest guys I've ever met in my life just never did stand up. His name was Dick Dolan, Dave Dolan rather. He'd call himself Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. And he would- Dickless Dave.an. And he went to dickless day. He was fucking hilarious. I have a phone that I see, he died a couple years back, but I have a phone that I saved

and I'll never get rid of it because it's got a voicemail on that phone from him where he called me up. It was like I did a gig in Boston and I hung out with him. I was like, okay Joe, like this, he was just a Boston character. Just a hilarious dude. And he was just a Boston character. All right, just a hilarious dude Yeah, and he was cousins with with Bill Downs funny, man This is small downs what a guy that guy used to book me all the time Yeah, even though even when I would do bad he'd be like I heard it didn't go that good

I'd be like yeah, and I'm in my head. I'm like, okay, it's over big guy. Yeah. Yeah, call you big guy Hey big guy. Yeah, you didn't go that good big guy Yeah, right, right, right. Yes. Yeah, I know but then he fucking Give me another gig. Oh, yeah in Quincy. There was some place in Quincy I forget the name of that one the naughty pine. Mm-hmm. Did you ever work for Dick Doherty? I don't think so. You never did dick Doherty's comedy huts I don't think Dirty was theherty, he called himself the Godfather of Boston comedy.

Oh, okay. He had a bunch of terrible games in the world. Was that like 88 on? Yeah, 88 on. I fucking was in the scene in Boston more from 84 to 88. Okay, so you were in the heyday. I was in the heyday. So you got there like right.

I got there, it was huge. I wasn't great. But then, buddy, all of a sudden, I got on Saturday Night Live, I don't know, 89 or something, and those same guys would come see me. All of a sudden I got big in the colleges. And I was doing these fucking giant shows back then it was unbelievable, you know, two thousand three thousand five thousand seats and The guys that I used to eat it in front of would come Do the gigs with me and they'd watch me they'd be like that fucking loose Fuck did that happen? It's again the thing when they see you in the beginning. They never respect you, right? I mean, they remember you sucking the beginning, they never respect you. Right, right. They remember you sucking. Yeah, they were right.

They were right back then. Yeah. But it's hard for people to accept that you grew. Yeah. Which is weird. That's true. That's true. It's like some fucking pro athletes.

It's like Jordan fucking wasn't the man for a while. Right. He got cut from his high school team, right? Exactly. Fucking wasn't the man for a while right he got cut from his high school team exactly It's gonna happen through in every every every Profession that you just gotta get figure out what you're you just gotta practice Wait, did you always want to be on SNL or was it all in the came out kind of I didn't even know it It wasn't that thought I wanted to be a movie star

I was cocky and tell him my friends in college are gonna be fucking movie star. They'd be like why? Why would you be a movie star? Look at you? You got fucking I'd be like, you don't get it, man I'm fucking and I thought I was good-looking too. I thought I was good-looking like now I go How the fuck did I think I like I know I'm normal looking but I thought there was something fucking attractive about me that people gonna Be like that's a fucking stud right there. And no, I then I think I was doing standup. Dennis Miller said good shit about me to SNL people. And then Sandy Wernick was my manager and he knew all of them and they got me an audition.

And then I did it and then they hired me as asked me to be a writer and I remember saying to Hurley he who knew more about SNL I didn't watch SNL that much I was kind of lost they were like it's really good that Dana Carvey's incredible I go yeah yeah he's great he's great and I was like but I kind of want to get in the movies and they were like and my buddies like, you should do SNL if there's that choice, you know? So you were thinking about not doing it? Well, I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure. I was kind of like, let's see, let's see. I'm not a writer. So why am I going to become a writer? It doesn't make any sense. I'm not even that fucking good at that.

What was the audition like? What did you have to do? I did stand up in Chicago improv. It was me, Rock, Dana Gould, and a couple other guys. And I did decent and the SNL people thought I wrote some funny shit. Lauren thought I wrote some funny shit. Robert Smigel thought I had some shit and then I got on. Wow. And Spade was on. How old were you only I was 23. Whoa. Yes, that was big That's not that's as cool as it gets. Yes. What is that feeling like? was all of a sudden became like you were in a rock band because I had you know farley got on fucking rock and Spade and and we would walk down the street and Schneider and norm and we all

Tim Meadows we were just always together so there was this crazy band confidence you know if anyone talks shit about the show we were at a restaurant like it wasn't that good the Saturday we were just like shut the fuck up man like we were fucking ready because there was so many of us you know it was like but then when you're alone and somebody says I saw you kind of like, huh? Yeah, you know There's something cool about having a bunch of guys with you. Oh, yeah, what's confidence? Yeah, you got a team. Yeah Yeah, 23 Was it like like when when it was popping because you were on a great era of SNL to

Look at that fucking cast. Yes. Harpin, Tim Met... Look at that fucking cast. Oh, fucking... Look at how young Spade looks in rock. Oh my God. Cute, yeah. Al Franken, Jesus Christ. Look at that cast. That's when he was in the cast that year. Wow. Neelon, everybody loved... Everybody loved... And Ellen, Cleghorn, I knew from the comic strip. Wow. And Melanie and, everybody loved, everybody loved, and Ellen, Claghorne, I knew from the comic strip. Wow. And Melanie and Julia, all cool, all cool, very tight, but we all love Neelon.

Every comedian loves Neelon. Everybody liked the way he dropped jokes in and fucking smooth as hell. Isn't it crazy looking at yourself back then? I fucking don't know what I was thinking spades sent me a fucking skit We did like six months ago, and I was like this is the first time this ever happened spade I don't fucking remember that one ounce. I don't even know what that thing was about I don't remember what it was, but I go I didn't remember saying any of those words I didn't know what the jokes were I didn't know what the fucking ending was he's like you don't

So I don't fucking remember that when you did he goes I sort of did but it was weird that's how I know I've been doing this so fucking long to this shit I know I've been doing this shit long when somebody comes up to me a big famous motherfucker and we go hey man I go hey nice to meet you and he's like nice to meet you we met and I'm like I fucking didn't remember meeting you what the fuck happened? Well, your brain gets overwhelmed with people. You know that number, Dunbar's number?

Do you know what that is? Dunbar's number is a principle that you can only keep like 150 people in your head at any given time. And then there's some people that you can keep kind of in a distance, like acquaintances, but there's like a tight group of a small number, and then as it branches out, it gets to like 150. Everything after that is very sketchy. Wow. And when you're famous,

you're constantly meeting people, which is very unusual for human beings. That's right. Yeah. Very unusual. Also very unusual that they know you, but you don't know them. Right. So there's this weird thing. Yeah. Where you go, nice to meet you. Like we met. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I forgot. Sorry. It's not so I don't like you It's not care. I'm not mean. I got hit with a bunch of them today. Yeah, your brains overwhelmed with with people right? There's no room. You don't have room. It's like remember the old phones. We can only keep like a hundred contacts Uh-huh, you only have the saw the phone it had like one. Yes fucking little tiny. Yeah hard drive Yeah, and once you got over a certain nobody keeps a hundred people on your phone

I've funny there was that's all it could take and that's how your brain is your brain doesn't have room for all these people Yeah, so it's not even your fault. It's like your brains not designed to be famous No one's brain is designed never thought of it like that. That's what it is That's great. And then when you've done so many things like as many things as you have it's just normal that you're gonna forget Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the pandemic was going on my kids found out about news radio I didn't know about it cuz I don't you know talk about your shit. Yeah Oh, they they're fucking they don't they're not impressed by me. I got this me all the time, right? They're always cracking jokes. It's fun. It's fun

We don't a lot of shit, but it's yes, but you know they watched me on news radio And I watched one of the scenes. I was like I don't even remember this right all oh you had that too, right? Oh, yeah, I didn't remember it. I don't remember being there. Don't remember that room remember not occasionally Okay, I'll remember like four or five episodes. Oh, yeah, I remember that one. That was a fun episode That's funny man. Yeah, but it's weird. You know your brain just doesn't have any room for it's almost like it's a lie like that into that Yeah, oh my god This is AI that by the way not one time I've ever looked back at that shit from 30 years ago I go whoa was I good? I'm always like jeez

Yeah, what the fuck will you do it put a fucking horrible performance there? Well, I think that's probably a good sign. That's a sign of a person who's not egocentric. Right, right, right. You kind of have a good sense of who you are. Yeah, yes, I hope so. The people that think everything they did is amazing. You ever go over someone's house

and they want you to watch something that they've done? Don't make me do this. Oh, that's a toughie. Don't make me do this. Are you gonna watch my reel? No. No, that's a roughie. Don't make me watch this. Yeah that's a time. We do is he gonna watch my reel no no that's a ruffy don't make me watch this Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can say don't you don't want this don't do this man. Don't do this

This is for the best also. I'll start shitting on you. Yeah, if you play that I'm gonna It's gotta be a bizarre feeling to be 23 years old and be on an iconic television show. Oh man, I was fucking never more excited to call home and talk to my New Hampshire buddies and be like, I mean, remember all that shit I said that was gonna happen? It's fucking happening. I don't have to bullshit right now. It's really going. And then when I would get on the show, say one line, whatever, it was just like, my parents, my family, my friends, just like, that was so, that was incredible. I would play the busboy or the delivery guy, it's just half a line, and it was like, holy

shit, you did it, you're on TV, man. My first TV show was Showtime at the Apollo. I did that. That was my first thing I ever did Wow and they fucking sent a limo to pick us up it was I was I lived in Chelsea how are we then I think it was 18 or 19 I think was 18 18 that's crazy went on and it was the second episode ever of Showtime at the Apollo. The first was Rock, and Rock cursed so much that they didn't use his shit,

so I was like the first comedian to be on, I fucking, I forget. Shit, the host was a great guy, he's in the movie. Is this it? Yes, that's Melba Moore. Adam Sandler. Oh my God, yes. This one goofy guy. Terrified.

Hey! Melba Moore! Jeez, Melba! I want an honor to be here, folks! Me! Look at that face! Fucking young dumb. ...because you people are so special, so I take a cab to come here, right? Cab driver, maybe you're having a little bad day... I don't know what's happening there How painful is this to watch hurts

Yeah, no I fucking yeah, I can't say I was very good back then, but I had some fucking confidence What was the first movie you did? first movie I did was pretty awesome I 22 moved out to LA did stand up at the Improv. It was probably my third time ever. I get off stage, two or three nice youngsters, director, writers came up to me, hey, that was good, you wanna be in a movie? I said, yeah, for sure. They were like, okay, we're gonna make a movie,

we're doing a movie on a boat. I said, okay, when? Next week we leave. I go, okay, great. I said, you know, do I have a big part? They go, well, you're the star. I go, okay, cool. So I go home. I tell Judd, I was with all my buddies and Judd comes over and he goes, what happened? I said that they said I can start it. And they go, he goes, do they have a script? I go, oh, I don't know. I don't I didn't even know they were scripts I knew nothing about it And then I just fucking went on a boat for six days and shot this movie at the time It was called the unsinkable Shaki Moskowitz, but now it's called babes. Ahoy and I was 22

That was a star the movie. I was I was Shaki. Whoa. I don't know how it happened Milton Burl was in it Whoa, I had a scene with him. So I got to tell my parents. I'm doing great What was Milton Burlick? Very nice. He shows everybody his cock. It was accidentally seen if I remember that big hog of his fell out of his shorts and Monster hug very good. Apparently would show everybody his hog. Imagine that now getting to show your dick and being there Big hogger his fell out of his shorts and and a monster. Yeah, very very show Everybody is hog. Imagine that now getting to show your dick and be there. Yes. Yes, by the way, I was in shape then Yeah, that's Adam. He Look at that. Yeah. Yeah, that's me skinny

And that's yep. Yeah, I get shut down by a girl there and that's when I was fucking young and happy. 22 years old. 22. Wow. Thanks for showing that. It's good without volume. And then what... I don't know what happened. Whenever my kids see that shit, they're like, why did you talk like that? I don't know. I was in acting class at school and I did a scene. I thought I did class at school and I did a scene I thought I did great and then you know how they open it up to the class to say shit one kick goes Why is he talking like that? And in my head? I'm like, what the fuck is this guy talking about?

Why did you use that dumb voice? I was like what fucking dumb boy, but then I watch it back. Oh, that kid was right man Pathetic. What was the first big movie you did? Oh, that kid was right, man. Pathetic. What was the first big movie you did? I was in Bobcat Goldthwait made a movie called shakes the clown. I remember that that was a great fucking that was exciting Yeah, that was good. That was the alcoholic clown exactly and Bobcat was funny as shit in it and he made me and Blake Clark we were his best friends and That was it. That was the big time. Wow. Loved it. Shakes the Clown. That movie doesn't get enough love. That was big. That was like a lot of

people liked it when you know it wasn't a massive hit but it was cool as shit. Yeah it was cool. It was a crazy movie. Yeah. It was like Bobcat stretching his wings. Is this before, after Police Academy? I think I think he did Police Academy first right. Yeah. Wow, man, you got every fucking thing ready to go. Julie Brown. Down, down, Julie Brown.

Yeah. Wow, man, yes, yes, there's Bob on the ground. Or I think there's Bobcat. Wow. And Florence Henderson was in it. There he is. Yeah, he knew what he was doing, Bobcat. He knew what a direct.

I didn't even know what he was talking about back then. He's like, I'm directing. I was like. Well, he directed the first episodes of The Chappelle Show. He did? Yeah. I was in New York, and I was walking down the street. And I was doing Caroline's for the weekend.

And I was just walking down the street, and I ran into Bobcat. And I go, hey, man, what are you doing? He goes, oh, I'm here with, uh, with Dave Chappelle. We're doing this show. And I ran into Dave and Dave had a fake mustache on. I go, Dave, what are you doing? He goes, oh, hey Joe, you want to be on my TV show? I was like, okay, what do I got? I got like an hour. He goes, we're handing out medals for the best New York boobs. So he gives me this box of medals and me and him just walk around

with this box of medals. This is like 2001-ish, something like that. Yeah, like Dave. Wow, so funny all the way. So yeah, I mean you could never do this today. You got the best New York boobs. Yeah, yeah, that'd be wow, look at you. Yeah.

Fuckin' A. Wow, that's so funny. And it was just completely random. Shit, he's just like Dave Chappelle there too. He wasn't coming up with a new guy. He's very yeah Arm on her boobs you could you go? You go to jail for that today. Yeah, it was just Bobcat was directing it. That's so funny. Yeah, just Complete random run in to Bobcat in the middle of nowhere. That's cool. Yes, and he was older than us where he was Yeah, he knew his shit. Well, he was a guy that like, you know Bobcat had that crazy act early on

Yeah, yeah, I didn't want to do it anymore. Yes. Yes. Yes, just to stand up and yeah like hey, where's Bobcat? Yeah, right. Fuck you. Yeah, he fucking hey, where's Bobcat? Yeah, right fuck you Yeah, he fucking had stayed strong with quit it. Yeah, he had a city Yeah, he did a show with me about a year ago. He came out a couple times. I think and Fucking murdered. It's a funny guy. Yeah, he was always a very funny stand-up Yeah, but he was trapped in that character that he did that screaming sure crazy pull your hair out. Yes You know it's like there's guys that have characters like emo Phillips. Yeah, yeah, I love them Yeah, but you can't do that when you're 80. Yes

I know it's like but I was trying to do that. That's what I'm saying when I was young and I wasn't doing well I was like I Started doing a guy who was drunk on stage. I started doing a guy who was very nervous I don't know. I was just I was going for that shit, too Just trying to find it. I didn't know what I'm trying to be comfortable on stage You know right and that's what you had going on your live show. I was like, whoa shit comfortable fucking not terrified You you sat in moments not not easy to do. I was in the zone You were in the zone how the how about the fact that you got in the zone when there are times when you walk on on stage in these pressure moments?

You just go I'm here. I'm talking but I'm not here right now, right? My mouth is moving I don't know what the fuck is going on that you didn't have that though I had been through a bunch of those before So I knew never to let that happen when I was out there in the live show. It's also why I was scared of doing it, so I just really overprepared. I made sure that when I got out there, I just said to myself, everything that I'm talking about,

every time, I want to be only thinking about that subject. I'm not gonna let my mind deviate or go, oh my God, this is going good, right? Don't fuck up this preg way. Don't fuck this up. That's funny. You can't think like that You have to I felt like when I'm at my best. I'm only thinking about the thing I'm talking about Yeah, and then you lock the audience. Yes. I think stand-up is a form of hypnosis. Yes. Do you think so? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I, yeah.

I get exactly what you're saying. You lock them in to the way you're... When I'm seeing a guy kill on stage, I'm locked in to the way they're thinking. I'm letting them think for me. I'm just like, think for me. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, ah, this is so funny.

And it's like, it's a form of hypnosis. And I said the only way that that's going to really work is I have to just be completely dialed in. Like I wrote out all my bits is I have to just be completely dialed in Like I wrote out all my bits. I listened to recordings. I watched videos I prepared for five hours the day of the show Wow just watching video. I went to the gym in the gym I'm listening to my shit. Yeah, I want to be just Yeah, 100% dialed in Oh, that's a fucking great feeling Yeah, when you go, I know all my shit man Because sometimes I'll do a tour then I'll break down for two weeks because I got you know

I can't be gone too long and then I go shit I got a gig again Friday, and then I listened to the shit. Yeah, and then I start going. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, fuck fuck, but it tags. Oh god Yeah, but then that two-week break on a tour, and then you go back out man. You psyched to say that shit again Oh, yeah, and you come up with other shit to say and yeah But you do have to go over the material your brain doesn't remember anymore. No no like you stuff just goes away What about you with having shit that steps on? hardest part of doing an hour is

Fucking having the ten minutes up front not hurt the fucking right. It's just so crazy. I got a lot of stuff Yeah, but I did it's been six years since my last special like I said I was thinking about doing a special in August of 2020 Yeah, then the country shut down and then I didn't do stand-up for eight months And when I did to stand up again, I remember I had to listen to old recordings. Yeah, luckily I record everything. Yeah, that's good I have all my recordings on my phone. So I'd listen Oh, that's smart man. I had to write things out But I remember the first set that I did I did the Houston improv and I hadn't done stand-up in forever

And I remember when I was on stage like ooh, this is weird. this is weird. I had never in my whole career, I got knee surgery and from my knee surgery, I took two weeks off. That was like the most I'd ever taken off ever. And I think one other time I took a month off for some reason, I forget why, but that was weird too. But that was like when I was in the middle of a bunch of other stuff. I was just working so much, I didn't have any time.

And then I remember that was, and I'm like, don't do that again, because it feels awkward to get back But eight months was crazy. Yeah, it's just such a bizarre feeling. Yeah, you forget how to do it Yeah, but it's kind of even just two weeks take two weeks and go back on stage again. You feel weird What am I doing? It's all new shit. Yeah rain again. It's also the experience of doing it is weird Yeah, I know how to do it. But just yes feels it doesn't feel comfortable What a fucking odd feeling when you think about? Going on stage and just going

Yeah, I'm basically telling all you people just watch me for an hour, right? Just watch me. You're gonna it's worth your time Now you drove you got babysitters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is here we go Yeah, you bought tickets in advance. You planned your day what a psycho over human being to disco me fucking come look at this Yeah, you have to be out of your fucking mind or just really prepared. Yeah, man So my special this one I did Probably two and a half hours shit and had to cut it. Well, you know Josh safty and We all had to pick the right the shit. We thought was the right shit. Hmm

That's but I did have so much shit by the time I did the special. I just came off the road And so I just had where'd you record it? We placed in Glendale a little theater. Oh cool. Hey, can I I'm sorry to interrupt can I hit it? Can I pee for one? Yeah, we can wrap this up. We've done two hours and 40 minutes. We did yeah This is we've been in that long. Yeah, we've been in fucking insane. This is the set. Oh, that's my first my yeah first Netflix I like the backdrop that was cool, too. It's just cool Yeah, it's like did you set it up like that or is that just what it looked like back there? That was it. That was that theater. I forgot the name of that theater. It's a cool-

So it's left it the way it looks. Perfect. Yeah, yeah. That actually, that day was, you know, Paul Thomas Anderson, the great guy and a great director, he shot that shit. How many people are there in the crowd? Some, that one there, that's that first special I did like five six years ago that some are like Big ass joints, you know like big arena things some are like 200 300 But the new one the new one was only like I don't know 200 200 people 250. Oh wow. It was real small nice That's a great way to do it too, because the people that are in the audience Yeah, there there's 200 people like so people at home. It's gonna be like you're there instead of being an arena where you feel disconnected Laugh at the jokes, but you don't feel like you're there that that's exactly what

so Josh Safdie he directed it he wanted it to feel like you're getting to hang out with me. And it's kind of like just shit goes on throughout the show that wasn't supposed to happen. And that's that. It shows me before a show, during the show, and after the show. And man, we had fun. It is a great fucking vibe, that place.

That was not a comedy club. It was just a little theater that they do these people bought a theater they put on little plays there and shit and then Josh liked it and they made it kind of Feel like a stand-up. That's awesome. And when is it out? What day? The 27th, oh, it's 27. Yeah. Okay. It's a couple weeks from now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man I can garage on yours. Can I turn everything buddy from now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, man. And I congratulate you on yours. Thank you, sir. Congratulations on everything, bud. Thanks.

Congratulations to you, too. My piss ended the whole thing. I appreciate it. No, it's all good. All right, right on, man. It's amazing you hung in this long. Fuck. A lot of people, an hour and a half in, they started clamping up.

Yeah. That's good, man. I just mentally said I got to get past that pissing, man. Well, thank you, brother. I appreciate you. Thanks for being here, too. Good to see you, Joe. Congrats.

Thank you. Keep up the good work. Say hi to your family, too. Thank you. All to see you, Joe. Congrats. Thank you. Keep up the good work. Say hi to your family, too. Thank you. All right. Bye, everybody.