The Joe Rogan Experience - #222 - Mike Dolce, Joey Diaz

Episode Date: May 29, 2012

Joe sits down with Mike Dolce and Joey Diaz.

Oh The Joe Rogan experience Also joining us of course is the one and only mad flavor aka Joey Coco Diaz and I have here Everybody has to try it's grillos pickles these pickles from Boston. They send them to me in the mail These are the best fucking pickles known to human beings. Known to human beings. They're fresh, and they make them, and they send them from Boston. And this is the spicy ones.

It's Grillo's Pickles. You've got to try one of these motherfuckers. For real. This shit's legit. Mike Dolce knows about food. Mike Dolce, you are a nutritional consultant to all these various MMA fighters and probably the most famous one. Certainly the most famous one by a long shot. I can't think of anybody who has gotten so many different fighters on track as far as nutrition, as far as getting their weight in order.

So many guys like Tiago Alves who had always had problems getting on weight. Once he started working with you, no problems. What got you into this? Do you have a background in nutrition from college? How many of you know so much about it just from reading books? From experience, life experience, education, of course. I've been focused on this my whole life since I was a kid. Since I was in single digits, actually, which I think Joey might reference. Since you were a little kid, you just liked

nutrition? Damn these pickles good. How good are these fucking pickles? Give me some of those pickles, Joe. You fucked up. You had to have something to go with them, though. Like a tofu burger. Like a steak. Something to go with it? Pastrami or something delicious. I didn't bring you something to go with it.

That's why you're upset? You're in front of Mike Dolce. You're talking about eating pastrami. What are you going to do? He's from Jersey. I'm mashing on this pickle, though. It's pretty good. You know what?

You gave him the wrong credit. You said, how do you get nutrition? Number one, he's from motherfucking Belmont, New Jersey. That's right. If you don't know about food and you're from Belmont, you should shoot yourself in the fucking head. That's where a bunch of shit was invented. You know what I'm saying? Nobody gives you

ranch dressing in Belmont. Drop it for me, though. Ranch dressing. Yeah, I still don't understand. Is ranch dressing bad for you? Why do you serve it with French fries? Some people like it. Yeah, I know. White people like it. That's not allowed on the East Coast. I don't mind it. Yeah, it's a white people thing. White people. Some people...

Well, people with... I don't know. People with those little duller tones to them, you know? Duller personality. It's like, oh, it's almost nothing. It's almost like you're just eating raw fat. I'm more creeped out about people that are like Thousand Island. I think that's more creepy. Yeah, that's nasty. That's something you like when you're a little kid because you think you're getting away with something because it tastes almost sweet.

It's like, oh, ketchup. Ketchup is like a dessert. It really is. Ketchup is fucking – it's a fruit. Tomato is a fruit. A lot of people don't even realize that. I like ketchup. Certain types, right?

That's why everybody likes ketchup. Ketchup is all sugar. You're getting sugary, sweet, some weird fucking vegetable that's been mashed up and you stick your french fries into. You know? Delicious. It's fucking good. Yeah. But probably not so good for you, right? fucking vegetable that's been mashed up and you stick your french fries into you know delicious it's fucking good yeah but probably not so good for you right ketchup is actually depending yeah you know get it from organic sources uh make sure you limit the processing most important anything is good for you if you take out the processing and the processing is needed to preserve these

things sometimes or the processing is needed to turn a batch of chemicals into a food substitute that actually tastes like something from the earth well it would be processing does that scare you when you see shit like that going down it scares the hell out of me man it gets me out of bed every day it keeps me like that's all i see and it's all i focus on what do you think about all this uh genetically modified foods are you into that at all? Do you understand too much about that? That's the end of the planet. That's the end of the earth, I think, is the modification, the alteration of our DNA, of the human race, let's say, through new food sources. Unrecognized, maybe, unassimilated.

And further reactions happen within the human body that we may or may not understand yet because of that. Yeah, we don't even know what the fuck the genetically modified crops are doing to people, right? Yeah. But they're in abundance, and they're inexpensive, and they taste good, so. Yeah, and they're poisoning other crops. They're infiltrating.

Their seeds or whatever the fuck it is gets in the air and it gets to other people's land somehow or another. And these people, they get cross-pollinated. And so they started growing these genetically modified crops unbeknownst to them. And then they get sued by Monsanto, which is incredible. The crazy thing about those Monsanto things is you can't even get seeds from them. You know, like you buy the corn. It's like the way it used to be is you would buy corn.

You get the seeds from that corn itself, plant it, and make new corn. Like that's how plants work. Monsanto, they don't row like that. They don't row like that. You ain't getting no seeds, bitch. You don't get seeds. You don't get seeds. They don't make seeds.

Their seeds make food, and then you don't own it next year. You own it this year. You buy the seeds it next year. You own it this year. You buy the seeds for the year. So if you have some plants and you think you're going to just go old school American Indian style and just take the seeds from them and we'll harvest and we'll create a beautiful, sustainable environment. No, no, no. You buy this every year. Yeah, we got you, bitch.

At our price. And there's so many dudes that are committing suicide in third world countries that have been rooked into doing this shit with Monsanto. I think they have a huge problem in India, I believe it was. There's a lot of suicide. Let me actually look that up. But I'm pretty sure that's what it is. Suicides from their depressed stat.

They get stuck in with these loans. Yeah, thousands of farmers are committing suicide. Yeah. Yeah, this is crazy, man. But what's happening is they essentially go in economic hitman style and offer these people seeds and sort of take over the situation and make sure that these people are using their stuff. and sort of take over the situation and make sure that these people are using their stuff. And then the farmers, they get stuck, like, owing fuckloads of money. And they can't pay it.

So is it illegal for them to own other seeds? I don't know. You know, I'd have to find out. I mean, if that's the case, they get really fucked over by their country. But I'm reading an article about it right now. Just Google. What did I Google? Just Google India Monsanto suicide.

And there's a bunch of different. Don't say butthole, Brian. That's stupid. That was only funny the first 3,000 times you said it. Yeah, fuck, man. It's really scary. But there's all sorts of different crops and seeds that Monsanto apparently... Yeah.

Wow. There's thousands of fucking suicides. This is really scary shit. They're saying that it's at least 200,000 suicides in India connected to Monsanto. Wrap your head around that shit 200 000 people have committed suicide because monsanto's got him into the seed game got you in the seed game oh you need my seeds oh you got a baby that's crying oh man you need my seeds monsanto's just got just. That's really pretty scary. How big of a company are they? Oh, they're enormous.

They're so enormous that Blackwater was sold to someone and they don't know who it was and one of the people in the running was Monsanto. They believe that Monsanto was interested in Blackwater. If that's the case, that means like the biggest food company in the world has

the biggest mercenary group under the world working for them. Gangster. That's as gangster as you get, man. That's as gangster as you get. They hired some mercs. They're like, we're just taking over the world by selling them fucking shitty seeds. They're taking over the world. Woo!

And they got their own army, by the way. And not just any army. They got the best. Scariest one in the world wow it's a we live in a crazy world man we live in a movie we really do we live in some crazy gangster movie absolutely so back to the food you um you you get these fighters and so what do you do basically you write out all their nutrition everything they can eat what time they eat it blah blah, blah, blah. What do you do? No. It depends on the athlete, number one. It depends on the person, what their goal is.

So the first thing I do is I fly out there and I shadow them for a few days. Hang out with them Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Hang out with them. Hang out with their families. Stay in their guest room, whatever. And I just lay back and I watch and I see. And then we start to talk, build a relationship. And I start to fill in the cracks.

I troubleshoot. Eat that instead of this. You know, you got training at 11, you wake up at 10.45 every day. How much of a daddy do you have to be? Does that fall into play? Or I wouldn't say daddy. Let me say how much of an older brother, how much of a situation where these guys, they're looking for someone to help them? A life coach.

You guys all want to start from fucking scratch. A life coach is the most respectful way of putting it. That's the most respectful way. It's amazing how many fighters need someone to tell them what to do. There's a lot of guys who are super independent, but there's a lot of guys who aren't that independent at all. And they essentially need someone to tell them what to do in order for them to shut that aspect of their brain off and be successful. Yeah.

I do as a coach. I'm a full-time coach, and I coach in certain areas. Some guys I actually do develop that brother type of bond with, but it's not every guy because professionally I work with a bunch of guys, and you only have so much emotional output. Without naming any names like what's the most difficult situation that you have to encounter um it's the people around the athlete you know in a coach relationship one-on-one it's like uh you know you're working with your muay thai coach

you're in the room nobody's there you hear everything you do everything you respond to everything and the more people in that room are talking the less you're going to retain the technique and execute the technique same thing with the things that i do yeah that's just like you know performing on stage if you're performing on stage the technique and execute the technique. Same thing with the things that I do. Yeah, that's just like performing on stage. If you're performing on stage and someone's talking in the background, that shit's annoying. If you're training and there's a bunch of people in the room, people don't realize that. Training, especially training to fight,

that requires all of your fucking attention. And everybody treats it like it's no big deal. You're out there just... Even if you were playing pool, if you were lined up on a difficult shot and a bunch of people were talking, you'd be like, will you shut the fuck up? And nobody's punching you in the face.

Exactly. Kicking you in the face in front of millions of people when your mortgage is on the line when you're playing pool. And they got a bunch of yes men. So that's what it is? Yeah. Well, I mean, everybody has – we all have yes men, right, in our own way. And it's the motivation or it's what's best for the athlete at that given time.

Some athletes need some yes men around them just to keep their confidence up and keep their lifestyle secure. But it's the people that are kind of pushing in the wrong areas at that given point. You know, eight weeks before a fight, six, four, two. You know, the closer you get, the less room for inefficiency I think you have. So you kind of, you know, and I think I help with some guys eliminate that. And sometimes it's through nutrition. Sometimes it's through training too much too little you know sleep patterns just perception and sometimes it's it's other aspects of the team maybe not it's external it's internal you know the the striking coach or the wrestling coach or you know

one coach wants to do too much or all the coaches want to do too much. So being that I'm with the athlete more often, I can see what their recuperation level is, how they're performing daily and kind of moderate the, the peaking, let's say the intensity and the volume of the overall training session. So when you go to these different camps, do you see like a constant paradigm, like replaying itself over and over again,

or one guy's trying to get in control of the camp and the other guy is trying to push that guy out? Do you see like a lot of that psychological bullshit that goes on behind the scenes? Yeah, but I don't think it's any different in a fight camp than it is in a family or an office environment or the PTA. You know, that's probably worse. But it's everywhere and there's some, you know, I'm blessed that a lot of the teams that I work with, I'm fortunate enough to work with, there's none of that.

We all respect each other as professionals. And the athlete's the boss. I call it the Microsoft structure. The athlete is Bill Gates. I'm the best damn keyboard builder in the world. And that's what I do, and that's all I want to do. I can certainly help the guy that's building the monitor in the office next to me, but, you know, I'm the best keyboard guy, and we'll communicate around the board, and we'll give everything to the man on top.

He makes the decisions. I don't think people realize the importance for a fighter of having a strong and professional team, having people that are not bullshit artists. They're not charlatans. They're not egomaniacs. They know what the fuck they're doing. They're professionals. That's what they're there for. Everybody has a job, be it a nutritionist,

be it a strength and conditioning coach. Everyone is the real fucking deal. That's a real jiu-jitsu coach. This is a real Muay Thai coach. One of the things that's driving me crazy is all these fighters that are getting injured, like Dominic Cruz got injured, because they're all training together all in one room. Dominic Cruz

is preparing to defend his fucking bantamweight world title, and his knee gets blown out because someone lands on him. That's fucked up. You're talking about someone he's not training with, if people don't understand this. He's training with one person. They're sparring. And next to him, two other dudes are working out,

and they collide into the champ. First of all, those dudes are idiots. Those dudes, whoever the fuck was driving that takedown was an idiot whoever the fuck was defending it was an idiot those guys are they're right next to a guy who's preparing to fucking train for his world title i shouldn't say they're idiots and say i should say i've done the same thing it's an idiotic move you should be way the fuck away from that guy yeah that happened to rashad it happened to you know it's happened to a couple guys like that's some bush league shit yeah small uh small mistake and a huge huge price to pay yeah i shouldn't have said that guys who are training are idiots what i should say is it's an idiotic

way to set up a room it's an idiotic way to set up a training room when a guy's training for the fucking world title in a period it's crazy bush league. Like, I hear it. It drives me nuts. When you come to a camp, how do you – you're obviously brought in for nutrition. But if you see, like, some other bullshit, some things that you need to deal with, some things that, you know, like you'd say it to the athlete, like, here's your problem. You have this big social drama going on, and you got to pick a side and stick with that and then be done with this because otherwise you're dealing with this fucking social shit and you're you're that's taking up resources that you could be using to train and concentrate on your opponent absolutely so you do you breathe do you are you the guy who goes to the athlete immediately i go to everybody i go to the athlete

i go to the the person involved you know and we speak about we're professionals you know it's not emotional it's professional and you have the luxury of really being so requested that you don't have to worry about this one guy who's going to fire you. Because you upset his friend and his butt got hurt. I think the people that I work with. They called you in for a fucking reason. They brought me there for a reason. They called you in for a reason. There's something not right. We don't know if it's nutrition, whatever. They called you in for a fucking reason They brought me there They called you in for a reason There's something not right

You know We don't know if it's nutrition Whatever They called you in for a reason Have you ever been in a situation Where a fighter's got like A crazy fucking old lady Absolutely

Every fighter's got a crazy old lady Oh my god Oh dude You gotta step and go Come in for a second dog This chick She gotta go And right there

That's a fucking nightmare I have heard some things That were so shocking From dudes who were like The baddest motherfuckers Baddest motherfuckers You would think This dude ain't taking no shit and right there that's a fucking night I have heard some things that was so shocking from dudes who were like the baddest motherfuckers you would think this dude ain't taking no shit from nobody and you know night before his fight his girlfriend wants to fucking fight all night won't let him sleep and keeps waking him up and fucking with him calling him a loser and leaves the middle of the night doesn't say where he's going he can't't go back to sleep. He's calling her phone. She won't answer.

They're in Vegas. This bitch just went out at 5 a.m. And these guys have to fight the next day and deal with it. Because to become a professional athlete, to become a guy, especially who wants to be a cage fighter, a lot of these people are the type of impulsive athletes that attract crazy broads. Because crazy broads do nutty shit. They'll suck your dick like 10 minutes after meeting you.

And you're like, whoa, this bitch is hot. This is nuts. Well, she's crazy. She's fucking crazy. And then crazy impulsiveness that made her blow you in a bathroom. That's not what leads to a good relationship. Absolutely. That girl's a freak. You've got to get the the fuck away from her you're not supposed to have kids with her move her in yeah but a lot of these guys that move her in they have kids with them these those you got to be careful and not i'm not saying don't do it but i'm saying be careful you got to be careful of that all-in relationship where you meet somebody and right away the girl's all in and the guy's all in.

And the two of you are like, I love you. I love you. You spend 15 hours a day with each other every day. That guy, that's your manager. I don't like how he talks to you. He has to go. Meanwhile, you got Greg Jackson. You know what I'm saying?

I don't like him. I don't like his eyes. I don't trust him. I think my father-in-law should. I think my father should train you. He's a Vietnam veteran. He's got a body. Separate you from the herd. It's amazing you having to go to somebody and go,

because you've got to be straight up. There's no fucking beating around the bush. Listen, I've seen the behavior. First of all, what are you doing at the gym with a fucking nightie on? Because there's shit that you can't even believe you walk in. And it's not that the fighters are fucked up. It's that they have little things that you're tightening up. We all can have somebody come into our lives and say,

hey, dog, you gotta start getting up at 7. You gotta start eating at 6.15, which makes a lot of sense. One of the things in your book that I told Joe about, I go, I can't get fucking used to this Dolce water before fucking coffee shit. Every time I drink water in the morning, first off, I got a cramp in my stomach. Like pills or vitamins in the morning. What does it explain what you're talking about? Why do you time I drink water in the morning, first off, I got a cramp in my stomach.

Like pills or vitamins in the morning. What does it explain what you're talking about? Why do you have to drink water before coffee? To jump the metabolism. Mike in his book says

to drink coffee after your meal. I think the first time I read it was the water first to get your metabolism going, which makes sense. It makes a lot of sense.

I don't understand. How does water get your metabolism going? What does it do? So you push the water through your body to start the digestive process to start working, to prepare your digestive environment for the food that's next to come.

So now you put the nutrients into the body. We get the metabolism start to work, start to process. And then if you're a coffee drinker, then you can have some coffee, which is acidic. So you want something already down there to not increase or overload the digestive system with the acidity, which is harsh. We all know, you know, you have a little bit of coffee and an empty stomach and you're jacked up for days. Well, now the next six hours are ruined. You got to train in two hours? Right.

You know, so you start your day on the proper note. Whether you're going to an office, it doesn't matter. Going to the office or you're going to the gym to train, it doesn't matter. It's the same thing. What do you think about coffee for athletes before they compete? Is that okay? Absolutely. I'm sipping on one right now.

Do you, like a lot of guys, jack themselves up with caffeine before they fight, right? As long as they're used to it. Nothing that they haven't been doing in the last three weeks. All of a sudden, guys fight night. They want to drink an energy drink or this new pill. Then your heart will beat too fast. You can't calm yourself down. We can't predict what the result's going to be.

We haven't tested it. We haven't tested it in the gym. Yeah. When I was talking to Chael Sonnen, he was talking about how he uses those little Vyran-type caffeine pills, which are legal. He knows what the legal dose is. That way, when he's taking the pills, he never has to worry. Because if you drink a 20-ounce Starbucks, a lot of folks don't know you might like piss hot for caffeine.

Caffeine. Like you only can have a certain amount. Yeah. Caffeine is a weird performance enhancing drug in that it's legal. You're allowed to drink caffeine, but you're only allowed to drink a certain amount of it. It's really fascinating, isn't it? Yeah. Because if folks don't know, like if you get we got our coffee from Lovebirds Cafe and Bakery.

Very nice place down the street. A nice mom and pop shop here in Pasadena. But you go to Starbucks and you get one of them Venti's, that's a lot of goddamn caffeine. Fuck Venti's. Way more caffeine. Trenta, baby. I've been doing Trenta's. Wow. But I think that's a lot of ice, buddy.

No, no, I do light ice. Trenta, iced coffee, unsweetened every single day. Oh, my God. Is that as strong as a regular coffee? Yeah, it's stronger, actually, because they actually make it stronger because the ice is supposed to melt it. You're going to die.

And so if they just did regular coffee... So it's actually, yeah, it's stronger. Well, you would not be able to fight in the UFC, for sure. If you did, you would get Keith Kaiser up your ass after the fight. Yeah, that would be my excuse for not fighting in the UFC. Yeah, I did too much coffee, sorry. Isn't it funny that you can't smoke weed but you can

smoke cigarettes no one you don't you don't test hot for cigarettes this is hilarious they're looking out for you fucking idiots you can't smoke what you can't smoke legal weed either like nick diaz has a goddamn prescription and by the way the prescriptions uh carries over to nevada is nevada has medical marijuana too medical marijuana, too. So why do you have to apply for some exemption? It's so ridiculous. It's so silly. As long as you're not fighting high. And you can take pills, you know?

Different medical pills, psychological pills you can take during the training. In less time, closer to the fight than you could marijuana. Yeah, I don't know how long it takes to cycle off Adderall, but I do know that fighters have been told they can't fight on it. On Adderall? Yeah. Like Xanax, Fight Week? Yeah, how many days does that wear off?

I don't know the life of it specifically, but I know guys can be on it Fight Week and test fine and be legal. On the up and up, disclose everything, it's no problem. I've never done Xanax, but from what I understand, one of the problems with Xanax is, although it alleviates anxiety, there's sort of a rubber band effect, and after it wears off, you're more anxious than you were even before you took it. And it sticks into your fucking fat.

So if you take 10 milligrams of Valium, your body only really uses five. The only five, the other five, go into your body and sit there. So the next morning when you wake up and you blow those two hits to take a ride to fucking work, those two hits of that fucking number are stronger than what they usually are because Valium sits in your fat and your body releases it as it needs it. So it might need it to fall asleep, but then it holds on to the rest. That's what I don't like about Valium.

You have that hangover the next day. Any of those things are fucking horrible. Ambien, terrible. I mean, people buying cars, people cooking fucking meals and going shopping. How the fuck go shopping and forgets they go shopping? Who the fuck cooks a meal? Yeah, well, that's what happens when you do Ambien. I have a whole bit about it in my act because it's true.

A friend of mine did make a fucking turkey. Made a turkey while he was on Ambien. I do a bit about it in my act. It's true. Doesn't remember going to the supermarket. Totally legal. Made a fucking turkey. Made a turkey while I was on Ambien. I do a bit about it in my act. Doesn't remember going to the supermarket. Totally legal. Made a fucking turkey. I think all the anxiety medication on the market is bullshit.

I think if you go to acupuncture and meditate, it would do the same. It would do all the same things. You say that, man, but your circumstances are not everyone else's circumstances. I would never say that some people don't need an anti-anxiety medication. Whatever situation they're in, I wouldn't say it's bullshit. I did not say that some people don't need an anti-anxiety medication. Whatever situation they're in, I wouldn't say it's bullshit.

I did not say that. I said the ones that I was prescribed were fucking horrific. Okay. Horrific to the point where I gave them to Sergio Love, and this motherfucker called me the next day and said, Dog, whatever was in that shit is bad. When Sergio Love called me, I told you this on the podcast. Yeah, you told me you gave the podcast. He gave me medication. Great guy. And I was taking these

things. I'm going, I'm feeling fucked up on these anxiety pills. I got these from Bob Hope. This is the SAG doctor. They're not going to give me shit. So it takes away your anxiety by making you feel like shit? Oh, I was feeling depressed. I was feeling like everything was very moody. While you're on it? Yeah.

When I was on it, I felt like I was dark. I couldn't do comedy. What do you mean by dark? I felt like I was in a fucking black and white movie. Whoa. That's hard to describe to people. You feel like you're in a black and white movie. And something wasn't right.

I was taking two afternoon naps. Wow. You know? I mean, something wasn't right. And I said one night, wait a second. I got a test monkey. I got my boy Sergio. I got a test monkey I got my boy I called this motherfucker up

because I've seen I've seen my boy eat 10 tens I've seen him eat 4 tens at one shot anybody who eats 4 tens and at the end of the night

says I ate 13 tens you're a savage it takes a missile to knock that motherfucker's head off Chuck Liddell ain't going nowhere you're going to be

pounding that motherfucker for hours 13 tens Are you fucking kidding me Yeah you do a little blow to mix it up a little bit Wait a minute 13 ten milligrams of valium What does one do

One It'll fucking knock you out from here to England Jesus How is he taking 13 But when you're drinking And you're drinking And you're adrenaline How is he still alive

Bro it goes into your fat He's kind of a big guy He's a big guy But the fucking funny thing was that When he called me the next day and said it was fucked up, I was like, I just flushed him. And I said, that's it. Even though I have a fear of needles, I'm going to hit this acupuncture. Why not? Let me give it a shot.

I don't understand people who need to get happy because I'm happy. You know what I'm saying? But I know people that have been unhappy. I don't understand the desire to try to achieve happiness because I'm a happy person. I surround myself with happy people. I do what I want to do for a living. I got a lot of loved ones. Happiness. That's happiness to me. I know people, though, that just got stuck in a fucking bad place. And they're not bad people. They just got stuck in a bad place. And I know that anti-anxiety medication and I know that antidepressants have a place in this world. The real problem is corruption.

The real problem is these fucking asshole doctors that want to prescribe it for everyone that doesn't feel good that day. I mean, they'll try to prescribe that shit. There's some unscrupulous motherfuckers. We know they get kickbacks from pharmaceutical companies. We know that pharmaceutical representatives, they take them out to dinners. And I know this because Mrs. Rogan's mom is a nurse. And I've seen how that whole business works. It's creepy as fuck, man.

Well, I think this is right. There's a business of they advertise these fucking things on TV, man. They have them in magazines. It's crazy. And you're right, Joe. I fucked up. But I also think that people should try every other avenue before they go on the business. That's for fuck's sake.

That's for fuck's sake. They should try everything from exercise to meditating to yoga to the needles. I don't give a fuck if the lumbata helps you. Anything is better than getting caught into that cycle. What I'm trying to say by saying that I'm happy is I'm not saying I've always been happy. I was very dark early in my life. When I was young, when I was in my early 20s and my teens, I was not a happy person by any stretch of the imagination, not even remotely. But I knew it was possible. And because you manage your life the correct way,

because you get to a situation where you have a lot of good fortune and you have a lot of good friends, literally your mental state becomes a happier mental state. What people don't understand is a lot of the reason why you feel like shit is because your life fucking sucks. And you're supposed to feel like shit to motivate you to get the fuck out of the life you're in. Whether it's a relationship, whether it's a job, whatever the situation is that sucks. Whatever the thing is inside you that's rotting you out from the inside.

Whether it's you wanted to do something else but you didn't have the balls to pursue it. You wanted another girl but you couldn't keep her because you're a liar. Whatever the fuck it is that eats at you, you got to straighten that shit out or you will never be happy. You can't just flood yourself with chemicals and trick your brain into thinking that this reality is acceptable. Because that's not really what's going on. What's going on is you know that you haven't done the best that you can do. It's about choices. Yeah.

What about the fighter that's fighting for the championship of the world on Saturday? And two weeks before he's fighting for the championship of the world, he starts thinking about his childhood for whatever fucking stupid reason. You know? And something his father said to him, he wasn't good. All of a sudden, because people have gone into funks before big things. Because your mind. What are you talking about?

Who? How your mind works in mysterious ways. But who are you talking about? I'm not talking about anybody in particular. I can't. I thought you were talking about a real situation. I'm talking about how your mind. What are you talking about? Who? How your mind works in mysterious ways. But who are you talking about? I'm not talking about anybody in particular. I thought you were talking about a real situation. I'm talking about how your mind works. We both read The Art of War, The War of Art. And what that guy says is how a writer will surround himself with obstacles.

We'll put natural obstacles in front of ourselves to make us feel, you know. And your mind does take into dark places. It's our own fucking personal resistance. We know it's good for us and we won't fucking do it but it's really weird how i can't imagine a fighter a comic you know a lot of these comics towards the end of the kennison a lot of these fighters towards the end also i mean the punches in the head and the mind and insecurities they fucking spin around bro and once you get insecurity in the mix, you have to go talk to somebody.

It's an ego. It's all mixed in that same fucking thing. The ego works two fucking ways, man. Unquestionably. The ego works two ways. It's a dance. I think a big part of the dance is you got to put out an overwhelming abundance of positive energy. I think that's the way to avoid all the funk and all the bad feelings.

You've got to put out an overwhelming amount of positive energy. If you do that, you have like a surplus out there. And then even the negative shit that comes out, it just slides right off you because you've got so much good stuff coming your way. That's the choices. Yeah, the choices. You make a positive choice. You make a negative choice.

The more positive you make, the more you're surrounded surrounded by positive and the more positive your situation is your lifestyle you're you know the the people around you and then the energy so now you're like you you're a happy guy because you're you're positive guy you surround yourself with positive people you do positive things you know you move forward like that you in a parallel universe could be negative just because you woke up one day and you had cornflakes instead of your grain smoothie. And then you kind of were with a bunch of people and they're smoking cigarettes in the car and they're listening to this song that you don't like and you're stuck in traffic and your day kind of goes shit even more.

And then there's no coffee at the coffee spot. You don't have time to get there because you're late for the meeting. Your day keeps spiraling farther and farther on that negative route and then it kind of keeps going that way. And that's where a lot of people fall off track. I deal with a lot of people that are unhappy because they're overweight. But why are they overweight? They're overweight because they're unhappy. So they emotionally eat or, you know, they know that they're not making good decisions. So they don't feel like

they deserve good things. So they kind of inflict negative situations on themselves, eat bad things, smoke cigarettes, hang out with bad people. And then they're kind of caught in that funk. But it's easy to get out of that funk with a decision. You know what? I'm going to leave. I'm going to walk out. I'm going to go there. I'm going to drink some water.

I'm going to step out in the sunshine. I'm going to the gym and then call my mom just to say hello. I'm going to give my wife a kiss or whatever the heck it is. You start making those little positive decisions and boom, the next thing you know, you're happy. And every day you're more and more happy and you're successful. Whether you're a writer or an entrepreneur or whatever the heck you are, you do dishes. You love what you do.

You're more successful. And everything starts to grow and explode from there. You know, the fat train's a motherfucker. And you just described it. Exactly. The fat train's a motherfucker. Because even if you ate dinner twice, even if you ate dinner twice at 11, you're like, I got to eat again.

It was a cheesecake. It was a fucking earthquake. It's an ice cream or a fridge. What? You know, it's just your mind works in that. You think like that? I have to eat again? No, I got to eat again. Where's the cheesecake? It's a fucking earthquake. It's an ice cream earthquake. You know, it's just your mind works in that. You think like that? I have to eat again? No, I'm just saying that you never fucking know.

You know, you never fucking know. The fat train is a motherfucker. It's a psychological train is what you're trying to say. It's a fucked up train. It's the same thing that makes you be a junkie. It's the same thing that makes you be a gambler. Yeah, it's the same thing. The fat train, and it's so, what we were discussing before the show started, you said don't talk, was

that people in America don't really fucking know where to get off that train. Yeah. They really don't. And even if you stop the train and go get off, they're scared because they don't know. And it's longevity. It's staying off that train for the longest time. It's not going to happen in two weeks. Well, explain what you're saying.

What do you mean by this train? This fat train. It's just a cycle. It's another word for a cycle of abuse, a cycle of addiction. You just said it. You know, one night you go on the fucking road, and you go to this comedy club, and you're hungry, and you're on the road for eight fucking weeks straight. I don't mean eight weeks fucking straight in those shit fucking clubs. You know what I'm talking about?

And you go to eat dinner, and they have French fries and a hamburger, and now you can't sleep because you're from the fucking east coast. You're from the west coast. You're going into the east coast. You got the radio three fucking days. So lack of sleep puts fucking weight on you. And all of a sudden next thing you know you get your 20 pounds overweight, your 30 pounds overweight and you're on the road and this happens. I'm just describing it how it happened to me. And you don't know what's going on. And even though you worked out all your life and you've walked this weight is getting put on you now you can't breathe in your sleep now you can't breathe in your sleep so I'm scared of needles and doctors

so you know what maybe if I get a heart attack then I'll figure this out so until I get the heart attack that's when I'll go in and take care of this sleep out there and finally you're not sleeping finally you're falling asleep in fucking lights. And you're 90 pounds heavier than when you moved to LA. Even though there's a fucking YMCA walking distance from your house. And you walk past it and it's like the devil's house. You even

cross the fucking street. You don't even walk on that fucking side of the street. That's the fat train. And the fat train, what people are describing now in America, obesity was Obama's wife these kids are huge you know you lost you lost a ton of weight joey you lost at one point in time which it doesn't matter how much did you lose pounds but it doesn't matter how much did you go down a street 35. go down the street right now there's not a kid playing on a street

no more yeah you mean out of all those houses there's not one parent that can go listen on monday i'm gonna come out and play stickball with these fat fucks who are on the computer with a knapsack. Where the fuck are these kids going? They walk around with 80 pounds on their fucking back and they're 90 pounds overweight. But with me, it started as an adult. It didn't start as a six-year-old fucking kid.

It didn't start as a six-year-old fucking kid. It started when I was 30 and I was already 10 years in the fucking bag of blow and drinking. You know, you don't realize. I remember one night

at the comedy store, the fucker, I don't like alcohol. I don't like the fucking taste of it. If I'm doing blow, I'll drink sperm. But if I'm fucking, you know what I'm saying?

But if I'm fucking, I don't like the taste of alcohol. And it's a, it's a social, That was the greatest timing ever. It's a social fucking thing I have. When I see Joe drinking a beer, you don't think I want to grab a beer.

Mike Dolce, I do the worst thing in the world. I get so bored and so embarrassed of being a mutt that all I do is smoke pot like a 13-year-old. That sometimes, give me a fucking cigarette because I got to feel like I'm doing something. You know what the fucking bartender told me once at the comedy store? That I drank 16 sodas while I was there one night. Wow. You know what 16 sodas do to fucking your weight? That's a lot of sugar. That's a lot of sugar.

I was doing that eight times a day. People don't know that a fucking can of soda is six Weight Watcher points, and the whole day is 30 fucking eight points. So if you have six cans of soda. So what are you going to do about it? No, it's what you can do to get off this fucking train. Right. So what do you do about it?

Bro, I started with changing my character. It didn't start with the diet first, I started with changing my character. It didn't start with the diet first. It started with the fucking character, which is getting up in the morning and walking, like you said, to the mailbox and touching it and walking back. Bob Zaney used to take a bus from Hollywood to fucking west side of LA and walk back.

That, you know, little things. Why did he do that? To lose weight. People do fucking put themselves in predicaments. That's awesome. You know, I went to swim. That gym was a better option. No, I know this, but, you know, when I? To lose weight. People do fucking put themselves in predicaments. That's awesome. You know, I went to swim. The gym was a better option. No, I know this, but when I want to lose weight, I was scared.

I didn't know how to start. I asked a bunch of guys. I knew if I went to Eddie and said, Eddie, I want to lose weight, he would have thrown me into the fucking spectrum of jiu-jitsu and I would have broke my fucking back because I was 4'15". And I told you, the first time I got on the fucking treadmill, I could only do two minutes. The little guy said, bro, you got to quit.

You were 415 at one time? The longest yard. Jesus Christ. That November. 415 pounds, three packs of cigarettes a fucking day. Oh, my God. So before you lose weight or you can go in any direction, you know what I did, dog? I joined karate with black dudes in the hood.

So they didn't know who the fuck I was. It didn't matter who the fuck I was. Because when I was there. What hood? Where are you going? I was going downtown Atlanta with these two black dudes. And it's funny because I wanted to put my mind back to where it was when I was 13, when I hated fucking all the stupidity. My mother used to even say to me, someday you're going to need a drink because you've got to stick up your ass.

But I was fine at that point in my life. So I took myself and my mind back to that. I wanted to fucking roll my gi up in a fucking thing and go back in just to take my mind to when I was an evil fucking 13-year-old where if you came up to me with a cigarette, I'd smack you. If you came up to me with a joint, I'd fucking tackle you. And if you came up to me with alcohol, I called you a loser because my mother had a bar.

So I would watch these people in the bar and go, I can't believe my mother makes money off these fucking momos drinking. They could stay at home for a six pack and drop $2 or whatever Schlitz was. So before I got my weight loss program back, I wanted to get my character back. Even today, dog, I go to the fucking gym. Like I was telling you, I'll do 45 on the bike. I'll hit the bag, throw sidekicks. I'm drenched. People look at me. Everybody's in the fucking air conditioning. I'm outside.

I go to the YMCA. I could go to any fucking gym in LA. I go to YMCA because I want to be rugged. It takes you back to being a fat motherfucker. Enough with this obesity and all these diseases. We're a bunch of fat fucks, and that's how to get off the thing. And I do your little treadmill workout for beginners Which I looked at for a month And go

I'm in no danger of doing that Okay what is this What is a treadmill workout I love this fucking treadmill workout From the beginner To the intermediate To the fucking I'm sorry

What's a treadmill workout It's In the book I have a A few different treadmill workouts Beginner treadmill workout Which is just an introduction What it is

Broken out I can actually pull it up And take a look But I have a beginner I have an intermediate And I have the advanced Which is the fighter treadmill workout which is just an introduction um what it is broken out i can actually pull it up and take a look but i have a beginner i have an intermediate and i have the advanced which is the fighter treadmill workout which is basically intervals so the fighter it's like one minute eight minutes one minute at six minutes one minute eight minutes and it's six minutes per round so it's really a six minute round i'll never even try that the beginner is basically you walk for five minutes at three miles per hour and then you put it up to five miles per hour well can i hear him saying i'm sorry why then you put it up to five miles per hour. Can I hear him say it? I'm sorry.

Why are you doing it? What is your... For the beginner, it's really to get people active, to build that base. A lot of times, like Joey's saying, people, they're out of shape for whatever reason. They've been making negative decisions. Now they make a positive decision. They walk into the gym where they have a little treadmill at the house, whatever it is. They start to exercise, and they do it wrong because they follow what they see on TV or they follow what they saw in the old self magazine or whatever

it is. Sores hell the next day. They don't perform well. They look fat. They feel fat. Their clothes are too tight. Screw this. I'm out. And that's like Joey's saying, you walk in the gym and then you don't go back for a while. The people make the bad decisions. So what this beginner treadmill workout is, it's getting people on the treadmills, getting them active. It's getting their heart moving. It's getting their blood flowing. And it's a transition into something a little bit better. Like Joey is a great example. He started his, you know, hardest, his hardest pace was three miles an hour or so. And then he would go down to one and he would walk. Now, you know, a few weeks later, he's almost doubled that. He's more than doubled that made tremendous amount of progress

in a short period of time, instead of just jumping in and doing, you know, four miles an hour is you're slow and then six or eight miles an hour is you're fast, which is what most other people do. So it's in the book, I kind of break it down. I make it easy for people. So you just kind of stare at it. You press the buttons and you move forward. So you just set out a nice roadmap to follow and this is the best way to achieve results. And how do you get people to stick with things? Do you have particular

techniques that you've developed over the years to motivate guys? Do you give them inspirational quotes? Yeah, it's all of the above. Really, it's about accountability. You have to be accountable. What's your goal? What's your goal, Joe? What are you going to do? You want to make this much money or you want to buy that old house or you want to donate X amount of dollars or whatever the heck it is. What's your goal? Now, what are you going to do to get there? Let's start building steps. Let's set small goals. Very simple. And it's basic information that we all know. I'm not saying anything new. I'm just maybe holding people accountable to actually doing it. Well, there's a term that I use for

certain people and the term is a collector of ideas, and I think that's what you are. And there's a guy named Jason Silva who's a brilliant guy who's been on the podcast a couple times. That is the same thing that he is. He's a guy who takes some of the greatest information that's available and he can regurgitate it in a very entertaining way. There's nothing wrong with that. Like, you're defending that.

Like, there's no need to defend that. That's a legitimate skill. As much as learning car mechanics is a skill, as much as learning medical science is a skill, it's all a skill. The ability to retain all this information. But you're in a strange position. There's the position of attempting to motivate people like this.

And you were a former fighter as well. You were on The Ultimate Fighter. What season were you on? Season seven. How many more fights did you have after that? I had a couple more, a handful, maybe four or five. And then just decided to concentrate on training guys instead? The training.

That was really the focus in the beginning. I've always been a coach, and I've always been doing that. And I fought because I loved it. I enjoyed it. It helped me be a better coach. And I was pretty good at it. I did decently well up until a certain point, so the enjoyment was there. And I was in the industry, so I know very specifically what the athlete goes through.

Did you find yourself in a situation when you were thinking about not doing it anymore, when you were wondering if you should do it anymore, where you have one foot in and one foot out? Yeah, since my first fight in the IFL. First fight in the IFL, I got two pro fights and two or three pro fights. First fight in the IFL, I knocked this kid out. It's the fastest record in the history of the IFL.

The big hoopla, it's on TV. It's team format. It's the third victory, so I win it for my team. It's all great stuff. Winning Xbox Live, which is awesome, because it's when they just came out. that's the third victory so win it for my team it's all great stuff winning xbox live which is awesome this is when they just came out it was the xbox and they stepped up to xbox live and boom i win it walking through the airport without my shoulder because i'm not putting that shit in uh you know the baggage right i'm carrying people trying to buy it for like seven eight hundred dollars in the airport from me wow it was that new yeah it was awesome i didn't know it was such a big deal damn and that from that point on i

achieved that was my goal you know i had pretty modest goals i was awesome. I didn't know it was such a big deal. And from that point on, I achieved. That was my goal. I had pretty modest goals. I did it. I mean, I was undefeated even at that point. And then I just kept rolling forward a little bit, still coaching, very active as a coach. At one point, I had 40 pro athletes while I was a pro fighter. But you weren't concentrating on yourself as much? No, no.

Just selfishly, in a quadrant of my brain, I was, I was going to be the ultimate fighter, you know, champion and all that stuff. Um, but that was probably less than 10% of my true time output. You know, if you charted what I did in a day was mostly for everybody else. Yeah. You can't just be confident and not do the work, right? Yeah. Got to do the work.

It's got to, you know, treat it like, especially like people always say like, Hey, how come you don't have an MMA fight? But besides the fact that i'm getting old as fuck the real problem is i don't want to do it and i don't think you should dabble no i'm not gonna quit doing comedy there's no way i'll quit doing comedy there's no way i'd quit doing this podcast there's no there's no way i mean i'm not going to and if i didn't quit comedy i wouldn't be able to fight there's no way you know it's just i don't think it's something that you should half-ass. It's serious business, man. You shouldn't have anything else on your mind.

I mean, you could have distractions and hobbies and all that good stuff, but when you're training, it's an amazing amount of time these guys have to devote. I don't think people realize it. People just watch fights and don't dig into it and find out what a training schedule is like for these fucking kids. It's incredible. The psychological impact. The physical impact is easy. We can all work hard as human beings.

We can all put our body through that. It's the psychological impact of knowing six weeks from now, five weeks from now, four weeks from now, there's another bastard somewhere on this planet training. And he's going to meet you at a certain point at a certain time. And your whole family is going to be there. And everyone you went to school with is going to be there. And he can do some shit that you can do and you know what you've done to people.

Absolutely. And you think, that might get done to me. Absolutely. And it will. It's just a matter of time. Is this the time? Is this the time? Maybe not.

Hopefully not. We're going to train for it to be not and not to be, but this could be the time. You know, so it's a head trip. Yeah, I'd imagine. Fuck. And as soon as it's over just like anything else like you know you want to jump right back in there oh i could have done i would have

you know x y and z there's all these other things that we could have done better let's do let's schedule another one boom it's scheduled oh shit now all of a sudden the head trip kicks in again as soon as it's scheduled and it's you know personal experience of course but every fighter almost every fighter because not every but almost every fighter it's the same thing it's the same script over and over it's it's there's an interesting turn that a fighter takes when they realize they're never going to be the best and they're just sort of doing it to fight they're just going to take fights yeah you know and that's a that's it's a completely different turn they become a different fighter like you could almost see their color change you know they just they they go from being this streaking thing that's constantly improving

to something that levels off and, in fact, usually dwindles a little bit. Sometimes guys get a little bit better. I mean, it varies on the athlete. But there's young guys that come up, and there's one beating or two beatings that they get somewhere along the line that make them realize, like, you're never going to beat this guy. I'll take it out of MMA because we have close contacts, but boxing, look at James Kirkland.

Yeah. Shooting star, right? Came out of the gate. You know, he was the next big thing. Yeah. Had a little bit of trouble, lifestyle trouble outside the ring. Yeah. And, you know, took a pretty good beating.

Now just he's kind of, is he maybe maintaining but probably degrading? Didn't he have a real tough fight recently? I don't know. Did you hear about that, what the fuck is the tall kid? Paul Williams. Paul Williams, motorcycle crash, paralyzed? Yeah, it's heartbreaking. Fucking A, man.

And that kid had such a tough career. I mean, look who he fought. Look how well he did. Couldn't get a fight. Nobody would fight him because he's such a tough son of a bitch. He was one of the most dangerous and feared guys for years. And then he slowly started to slow down. And then Martinez got him with a big left hand.

He had some tough fights, man. But the dude had a crazy work rate, too. I mean, nobody outpunched Paul Williams. That guy would come in. Winky Wright fight? Yeah, it was ridiculous, man. It was awesome, right? It was incredible.

Beautiful, right? Winky Wright is another guy who doesn was ridiculous, man. It was awesome, right? It was incredible. Beautiful, right? Winky Wright is another guy that doesn't get enough credit. What a technical boxer that guy is. So smart, so good defensively, you know? You know, that's the shell that he would build? Oh, yeah. Hands up high, man. He broke a lot of dudes down with that, just with sheer technique and skill.

He's a real skillful boxer. I appreciate him as a professional. I see what he does. I'm like, that's a real goddamn professional. He's fighting Tarver soon. I see the billboard. I'm pretty sure. I could be wrong.

Winky Wright's fighting Tarver? Yeah. That's a good fight. They're both at a good, even as far as levels of their career, too. Yeah, I'll watch that. Tarver's doing real well at heavyweight. Did you see that? Yeah.

He had a couple of heavyweight fights. Yeah. Why is Winky Wright and him fighting then? Names, money. Winky Wright doesn't give a fuck, right? He'll fight anybody. Yeah, he always has. He called people out.

Yeah, because Tarver looked real good as a heavyweight. I forget who the fuck he fought, but he beat the shit out of somebody. Beginner treadmill workout. Jump it because I don't want to leave you hanging. Warm-up, five-minute walk, three miles an hour. Round one, 30-second jog at five miles an hour, two-minute walk at three miles an hour round one 30 second jog at five miles an hour two minute walk at three miles an hour and you repeat that one two three four rounds and the cool down is a simple five minute walk at three miles an hour anybody everybody can do that or their own version of that so i'm a coach here's the format i'm coaching you to do it maybe you're

one mile an hour you know a 30 second jog and then a you know two mile an hour 30 second jog and then one mile an hour two minute walk-mile-an-hour, 30-second jog, and then a one-mile-an-hour, two-minute walk. Do you have something that could be adapted to an elliptical machine? Obviously, you wouldn't be able to regulate the miles an hour as closely. The intensity is the watts on an elliptical machine. Yeah.

You know, all the machines have a way of regulating intensity. Right. And displaying it to you, even on the rower, having rows per second or per minute or whatnot. So you can do the same thing with rows as well? You can do the same thing like Joey was talking before. In your neighborhood, you walk out your front door, jog to one mailbox, walk to the next two.

Jog to the mailbox, walk to the next two. Most plots are evenly sized in most neighborhoods. I got a big hill on my street that I'm scared of that I never run, but it's fucking huge. It's a scary hill. It's a big hill. Run to one house and walk back down. Don't do the whole hill. When you do a hill sprint, though, what is the rule?

What should you do? Should you run for 30 seconds? Should you run for a minute? What's the smart way to do it? All depends. Picture cycles. I break everything down in the cycle, so picture three-week cycles. What are we trying to accomplish over the next three weeks?

Well, I want to develop explosive power. You have to have quads, glutes, hamstrings, calves, whatnot. Maybe just speed off the line. Maybe it's endurance. So why are we going to the hill? And then we determine what the intensity, what the volume is going to be. And every three weeks it should change. So you can find another area that you want to improve and then peak that out.

Then maybe go back to the first area, find a third area, peak that out. So you're constantly peaking out a specific area with strict rules. What is the one thing that you take out of fighters diets most commonly processed foods without a doubt? You know, I'm an advocate of earth grown nutrients is a term that I like to use. Like, uh, is that like paleo diet type shit? No, but paleo uses earth grown nutrients. So earth grown nutrients is like it's whole foods. But when you say whole foods, pick people picture supermarket chain, whole foods also sells conventional food, not just organic or earth grown nutrients. Earth grown nutrients means this came from the earth unadulterated by man. I walked out my backyard. I pulled it out of the stream with my bare hands and pulled it out of the ground. And I didn't even

plant the seeds. Let's say it just naturally grew right there. That earth-grown. The closer we can get to that, the better. So what I try and do with my athletes or clients or anybody I deal with is I try and make suggestions and tips and then from my experience, try this instead of that. You're going to use a high fructose corn syrup-based ketchup when you can get this one right over here.

You can make your own with tomatoes and some vinegar and some salt and maybe a little bit of agave on your own stove. Tastes exactly the same or the earth-grown one tastes a heck of a lot better you know so that's the things that i try and do with the athletes but you're okay with pasta pasta yeah yeah um pasta because athletes require a lot of sugar a lot of fuel carbos wednesday um we do i call it you know a refeed, Wednesday night, which is typically, it's a comfort meal, so we placate the emotional side, the emotional eating side,

even during training camps. Do you put up candles and shit? If that's what's necessary. Recommend maybe the athlete does it with their wife or their family or their girl, their friends, the games on or whatever it is, so you can do it any way you want. Glass of wine at the table with the family, any which way you want to do it. It's the emotional side, but also nutritionally, the athlete's getting everything that they need.

So I like to make my pasta with quinoa and not a quinoa pasta, just straight quinoa, you know. Lots of people, yeah, it's awesome. Lots of people dig it. So it's a pasta night in theory, but it's not pasta noodles. It's not ziti. It's not, you know, any of that stuff, although you can do it. You can get a brown rice if you want to go gluten-free. So this quinoa, it's quinoa pasta.

Is that what you're saying? The actual pasta itself is quinoa? You can use it. I prefer just straight quinoa, so it looks more like a chili. I've been using that for a while now, just mixing it with vegetables and stuff like that. I'm confused, though. So there's no pasta? There can be pasta.

But you're calling it pasta. Pasta night. It's a refeed night. So we were talking about pasta. You can certainly use pasta. Okay, but it's quinoa. It's not pasta. You just replaced the pasta with quinoa.

Right, right, right. But what I'm confused, and what I was asking, is pasta, okay, actual white pasta. Like burrito pasta. Spaghetti. Spaghetti. Fine. That certainly can be used. It can be used.

Or a brown right brown rice based pasta or a tapioca based gluten-free pasta or a quinoa pasta or maybe just quinoa needle noodles by itself or maybe no noodles at all you're just going to have the the sauce which is a red sauce tomato base peppers and onions and garlic and herbs and spices and all those good things thrown in there too what about ezekzekiel pasta? Yeah, awesome. I love that. Good stuff? Yeah, I've been using that a bunch lately actually. Is there any benefit to taking like plain white pasta or taking Ezekiel pasta like carbohydrate-wise? Absolutely.

Carbohydrate, glycogen stores. No, I'm saying which one gives you more benefit? Would Ezekiel give you more benefit? Would straight white pasta give you more benefit? I would lean towards the Ezekiel because it's closer to the earth grown nutrient category. And it's, it's higher in a variety of nutrients where if you go just the straight Durham wheat pasta, which is like a standard Barilla pasta, where you're getting any, you know, Olive Garden or whatnot, there's a high, yes, there's a high glycogen content. So if your only goal is glycogen stores,

then you can certainly get that from the pasta. But if your goal is to get glycogen content. So if your only goal is glycogen stores, then you can certainly get that from the pasta. But if your goal is to get glycogen plus fiber, plus essential fats, plus, you know, vitamin B or whatever the heck else is in there, then you go to the Ezekiel and you keep getting closer back to the earth because there's more vital nutrients contained in that. Now what's quinoa? Quinoa, it's a grain. And what's it taste like with pasta on it? It's delicious. Quinoa kind of, it takes a grain. And what's it taste like with pasta on it? It's delicious.

Quinoa, it takes on the flavor of what it's being served with. So I made a recipe when I was working with Mike Pyle when he fought Ricardo Almeida. And I come up with new recipes. I'm an Italian dude. I grew up a kid in the kitchen. I'm rolling dough. We're making zeppelins, fried dough in our kitchen. And I've been doing it my whole life.

So I work with these guys. Mike Pyle lives a few miles from me in Vegas. Go to his house where I would have been eating for dinner. Start mixing some recipes. Quinoa. I got some quinoa, ground turkey, asparagus, red onions, and mushrooms. Chopped each one. Light saute.

Low heat saute, so you don't kill all the nutrients. Low heat saute the vegetables. How long do you saute something to not kill the nutrients? Man, as long as it takes for it to kind of soften up or get to the flavor that you want. Like peppers, they have a really hard exterior outer shell. So you actually want to saute the peppers a little bit to break it down to unlock the nutrients. Otherwise, it's going to digest through and it's going to fall out. Really?

And you won't get all the nutrients. So it actually is better for you to do that to cook peppers? In certain cases. Isn't it the case with tomatoes as well? Like there's something that gets activated in tomatoes when you cook it that doesn't when it's raw? I'm not sure specifically on tomato, but things like spinach, most vegetables with an outer layer, you will unlock more nutrients when you actually heat that up. But not always because you still want to have them raw and fresh because there's a ton of other vital nutrients. Yeah, it's called lycopene. Lycopene, it's an antioxidant, and it comes from cooked tomatoes.

Joey, if you want a good local place that has good quinoa swingers, I usually always get the side of quinoa, and it's good, And they have a tuna salad there where it's just like tuna salad on lettuce and stuff. It's on a bed of quinoa. I always get double quinoa and that's like one of the best salads that you can get around. Yeah, they have Jamaican

jerk chicken with quinoa. It's the shit. What's the closest I could have if I don't want to have pasta? If I just want to try it one time. What's the closest I could have if I don't want to have pasta, if I just want to try it one time? What's the closest I could have for the head? You know what I'm saying? That I could just eat like a pasta and not really trip on it. It's like when I eat like lamb.

Ten minutes later, I'm fucking tripping. I just want to eat something and not trip. What can I eat there? That's closest to pasta. No fucking tofu because I have a heart attack. The quinoa, it's so easy. You have no idea. You're going to serve him quinoa, and he's going to come back in here and scream for 15 fucking minutes.

Quinoa smells like a girl's tampon. No, no, no. I'm real fucking gay. Fucking quinoa. Let me tell you something, dog. Let me tell you something, dog. It's mozzarella. It's mozzarella cheese.

It's a real fucking pasta sauce And real pasta You fucking hippies You scared of some fucking spaghetti My fucking aunt put curry in my spaghetti and clam sauce I didn't talk to that bitch for six years That's the type of motherfucker I am You understand me You fuck up one of my recipes

Stacy Pocaludo had the worst mashed potatoes of all time When you hadn't talked to her for a fucking year on Thanksgiving That's how serious I take this shit. So let's say, so I should maybe just stick to the spinach pasta and go from there and then water myself down. Let's back up a second because what's your goal? Don't tell me what you want. What do you need?

What's your goal? I fucking love pasta, but since I left the East Coast now, I'm okay with once a week. I don't have to have sausage and meatballs. I'm okay. But you hear what he's saying? What was he saying? He's saying, what's the goal?

This is what he's always saying. What's your goal? Just to help a little bit. Maybe just to help a little bit. What do you recommend? How bad is a bowl of pasta every week? But help what? Help what, Joe?

Your heart, your cholesterol, your fatness. It depends on how close you are to the brink Or how far you are from your goal Or how close you are to your goal Just eat healthier pasta With the turkey I like what you In the book It's fucking delicious

And the chili's fucking smoking too If you make those recipes You're golden man And you have the gluten free option You got the vegan option You got the apple option I ain't gonna lie to you The first two times I made the pasta

I used fucking You know, ranzoni That's a slow transition. That's fine. I got to go with Ronzoni. He's been around for 30 fucking years. He's got nothing. I know Mike Dolce two fucking years.

I got to go with Ronzoni. That's my fucking man. You follow me? The number two. I don't like that string shit. Well, Joey, I mean, this is an uncomfortable moment here, but I got to confront you on this because what we got here is a guy who's like a nutritional expert. Right.

You're using him as a sounding board. No, no, not a sounding board. no no but honestly brother you know what you got to do no no i'm asking him what's better for me i'm not trying to be funny with him i'm asking him what's better if i like pasta what is the closest thing i could have if i wanted to have a little healthier that's my question a little healthier that's my fucking question that's it a little healthier than mcdonald's what the fuck i'm telling this's? Right away, you got a fucking Saison. What the fuck, guy? No, because I'm telling this because we were- Before you cut me off, you insult me. I never fuck. I never insulted you.

In the beginning, you're talking for two hours. The guest is here waiting. I never insulted you, Joey. Yeah, you did. I just want to hear him talk about nutrition. Yeah, but I'm a fat fuck, and maybe I like to explain the fucking running technique, too. But he confronted you. He said, what's the goal?

No, he's asking me what I want. I told him what the fucking goal was. Or if you're playing law and order. I'm talking to him. The goal is I want to fucking maybe eat a little healthier pasta. That's why I don't eat the meat or the sausage. Is there any way to make it a little healthier? Maybe the spinach pasta.

Maybe the whole wheat without suffering that much. When I taste the whole wheat, am I going to go fucking Dolce? What I'm getting back to is past the goal of the pasta what's your goal exactly what's your life goal where are we trying to go with your health

with your fitness with your weight I went down to 270 and my head was too fucking big I was going in to meet people and they thought I had cancer I swear to fucking god dog my neck

you get to tell that's why I went in and I started doing the upright rows to fill this in a little bit because it got so fucking skinny I thought I was going to put one of those voice machines that's what people were looking at me in auditions and I thought I was going to put one of those voice machines. That's what people

were looking at me in auditions and meetings like I was going to put a voice machine in. So when I hurt my knee... Well, that's just the consequences of having a lot of mass at one point in time.

So I built up this area here a little bit. I used to be 280 pounds. Oh, I know. I read the fucking thing. I lost 110 pounds. How the fuck did you eat all that shit

in one day? That's 19-year-old diet. That's when you're whacking off twice a day, you're fucking drinking, and you're fucking somebody eight times a day. That thing that you were eating was a pepperoni pizza at night with a provolone on it. Are you fucking kidding me? He can't eat that. No fucking way. I'll put you up 10 years ago, maybe, that diet that he's eating, you eat.

No, that was 10 years ago when I met you. We went to the Miami Improv. My jaw dropped when you ordered food. I fucking my jaw dropped, Joe Rogan. Why? Because you ate three entrees. It's still drunk. Still doing it.

This motherfucker. I'm sorry, Mr. Dolce. You talked that you ate fucking egg omelet with eggs, no fucking egg whites, cheese. I mean, the diet was amazing. Yeah, I feel like I work out hard. I eat whatever the fuck I want to eat. And when I'm done with a show, especially two shows, I'm hungry, man. I eat a lot of food, a lot of steak.

Yeah. Are you a paleo guy? Yeah. Well, I don't follow it 100%, but the majority of my diet is essentially most of what I try to eat is just salads and meat. That's most of what I try to eat. And then I'll throw in a little bit of pasta here and there every now and then. Or if I'm on the road, I eat what I can to try to stay healthy.

Always supplement. Supplement every day. Constantly. A lot of fish oil, multivitamins, chelated minerals, the whole deal. I take a gang of shit all day long. And I drink kale shakes. I try to drink them every day. Sure.

So that's the majority of what I do. But I think what you were bringing up with Joey is a real good point, that a lot of people say, oh, I just want to sort of – they're kind of dabbling in the idea of improving themselves. And the real way to do it is you've got to write down what the fuck you want and then go after it because otherwise you live in sort of a wishy-washy world. If you decide I'm going to get down to bang i'm gonna do this i'm gonna run a marathon in less than five hours i'm gonna you know whatever the fuck it is you gotta write that

shit down and go for it what i tell people is the best advice that i i've ever heard the best advice i ever came up with is it live your life like you're the hero in your movie. And right now is when the fucking movie starts and your life is a shit bag disaster. Like every fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where he wakes up and makes a blender full of pizza and ice cream. You know what I mean? Those guys were like on the brink. They put the gun in their mouth and they put it down because they see a photo of their daughter. Pretend that's you. Pretend you are, right now, you're in the part of the movie that starts

and it shows you as a fucking loser and just decide not to be a loser anymore live your life like there's a documentary crew following you around and you are analyzing your own behavior do what you would want to do so that your kids one day would look back at it and and see that documentary and look on it with pride like wow my dad was a bad motherfucker he really did what he had to do wow my mom really got her together i love a success story but even more than a success story i like a dude who his life up and then gets it back together against story those are my favorite stories and the way to do that you got to write down you got to think that you are the hero in your own fucking movie

and then you get to sit down and you got to write shit down write down what you need to do most people play the role of the victim in the movie right sure yeah this life is fucking me over man i could have had this and i should have had that and why does this guy get that and why does that guy get this and all things that are completely unrelated to you all things that you you find other people's success is a downfall in your own existence. Instead of being inspired, instead of choosing to be positive, instead of improving constantly

on the direction of trying to achieve whatever the fuck you have written down, you just sit around and spiral. There's nothing more miserable than sitting around and someone is fucking complaining all the time. It is one of the most annoying things ever. Everybody hates it when someone just sits around and they complain about their life and they don't do jack shit about it and you tiptoe around it you don't know what to

say well she gets upset when you bring that up i don't want to bring that up and you want to go you fucking crazy bitch you know what's wrong with your life stop stop announcing it to everybody else and go out and fix that shit. And that's tough love. Tough love is what everybody needs, me included. That's the only good thing about assholes on the internet. Sometimes they say things that's right. Sometimes cunts will say shitty things to you on the internet about a show you did or a thing you said. Or, oh, that joke you made on the podcast, you're an asshole for even thinking like that.

And a part of you is like, fuck you. Who the fuck are you? But you feel bad if things are correct. You feel bad if someone nails you. You feel bad if you really did, if you didn't do anything wrong and someone acts like a cunt, it's just like, they look like a crazy person. Like, you have to be able to have that honest assessment of yourself. And the only way you can do that is you're taking account of yourself all day long.

You're taking account. You're writing down what the fuck you need to do. You're doing it. You have a mindset that you want to maintain throughout the day. Don't let the world maintain your mindset. You choose what mindset that you're going to maintain. And I fucking do that for sure. That's it.

I got words of wisdom by Joe Rogan. I got a Twitter yesterday that said that. Whenever I was on a podcast with you, we were racially insensitive. Why was that? And he wasn't a douchey. People are sensitive about that. He wasn't a douchey thing. And it was 7 in the morning, and I'm one of those guys that, you know what?

You get up early, man. You want to round me up at 8? You want to round me up at 11? Go. But at 7, don't fucking round me up, dog. I'm smoking dope. I'm playing with the cats. I'm drinking.

I'm having a good old time solo like a doctor, you know, giggling by myself and stupid jokes I'm writing. And all of a sudden this guy sends me this. And I look at it and I go, this fuck. You're right. He's right. You know what I'm saying? I'm fucking racially insensitive every day.

And I wrote back, you're right, but at least I ain't racist. Then you got a right to say something to me. But because we're racially insensitive, and I'm insensitive to my own race, yours, his. I don't even like my own race. Yeah, no. Mostly Italian with a little bit of Irish, and I avoid most Italians and most Irish. I have crazy genetics. I don't like my race.

So there. I think the idea of being racially insensitive is ridiculous because what they're getting upset at you is pointing out real shit about races. Pointing out real shit that you think is funny that you see.

And if they get upset at that, that's on them, man. You're attaching yourself to something you have no fucking control over. And you even have pride, which is one of the most ridiculous things ever.

Oh, I'm fucking pride that I'm from this part of the ground. You know, it's just the stupidest thing ever. The idea that, you know, I'm a proud this, I'm a proud that as a proud Greek. Shut the fuck up. Just shut up. Shut up with your dummy, you fucking individual on planet Earth. Stop it. Putting too many labels.

The funny thing is, they find themselves. Because they're pussies. If you put a tape recorder in my room, you're like, Joey, you're fucking racist. But then if you look at my walls, you're like, you ain't fucking racist. You got Bruce Lee on this wall. You got Richard Pryor on this wall. You got Jimi Hendrix on this fucking wall. Nationalism is

even kind of admirable. Kind of creepy, but kind of admirable is Brazil. They are so nationalistic. love brazil so much man i've never been to a country that's so pro their country than brazil passionate right oh my god everybody it's incredible yeah they're fucking more passionate about you know their nationalism than any country i've ever been a part of i wish that was here. That passion, right? That example from Brazil came over here to America. I think we need a little bit of that. As long as it's not against other countries.

My issue is not with passion and pride in the individual country. It's you against the rest of the world. I think that's fucking pointless and nonsense. That shit drives me nuts. USA! USA! I hate that shit. But here's the funny thing. When I was in Jersey, somebody was fighting. pointless and nonsense. That shit drives me nuts. USA! USA! But here's the funny thing.

When I was in Jersey, somebody was fighting and somebody was yelling USA. And then I thought about what you told me about Brazil when Mike Pyle won. Mike Pyle won and they were yelling and they were calling him a fag.

I remember. They were yelling. What was the word? Friago or something. Fagano or something like that. And the translator thought they were chanting Cigano. They thought they were chanting Junior Dos Santos' name.

And I said, I don't think that's what they're saying. She didn't want to say what they actually were saying. And it's funny because now if you go to a Little League game or something like in the Little League, you're not even allowed to say nothing negative. Like swing the ball. You can't say nothing. In today's society, the way they're bringing up these kids, if you go to a stadium now

to watch a baseball game or a football game, it's a bunch of fucking people you can ranch dressing. Except for the Dodgers stadium. You got to go there with fight gear on. But fucking everywhere else, it's pretty fucking decent. Like, nobody says nothing. It's not like, hey, you mother. When I was a kid and I'd go to Shea Stadium, Jesus fucking decent. Nobody says nothing. It's not like, hey, you mother. When I was a kid and I'd go to Shea Stadium,

Jesus fucking Christ. The Boston games in the 70s, they'd throw you off the fucking balcony. Now we live in a society where you go to a game, people pay $300 for a ticket, and they're well-behaved. In Jersey, they were a little fucking crazy, but that was the craziest. Somebody had a heart attack

on the side. At the fights, you mean? Yeah. Somebody was fighting. When Kachek was fighting. Somebody had a heart attack? Somebody had somebody. Somebody dropped from drunkness. One of those fucking kind of Jersey deals.

The guy behind me kept yelling, looking for work, looking for work. And then he would sit down and pass out for 10 minutes. Looking for work. He didn't even know. That's my uncle. He didn't even know who was fighting. He just kept saying, looking for work. That's the cool thing about live events.

The cool thing and the bad thing is you might get lucky and sit next to Joey Diaz, or you might get fucked and sit next to a couple of drunk assholes. Most likely. Yeah. Most likely. Possibly. It depends. We never know, though.

It's interesting how different parts of the country have very distinct ways of gathering in crowds, too. Like East Coast, they're a lot more aggressive, man. A lot more. Absolutely. Like, I would hate to be in Jersey this week. In your face, want to compete. I would hate to be in Jersey this week, because that is the worst type of crowd in Jersey.

What is it? What's this week? The Kings are playing in the fucking finals. Let me give you an example. Who's the Kings? Sacramento? The hockey team. The hockey team in Jersey.

When they won last time, they went, they went to every bar in a 50-mile radius with the Stanley Cup and had a drink. And then I was thinking about it when I was a kid. You know how people say to you now, oh, America, American football is weak. Fucking rugby is the sport. You know what, I grew up, I played street hockey in Jersey in one of those leagues for three weeks

and that was one time where I actually doubted my manhood at the age of 13. I did that for three weeks because it's not hockey sticks and sneakers.

There's another variable involved in this. Cars! Cars! Cars! And you don't get, you ain't real until you get hit by a car.

You know what I'm saying? Like, that's how you get props. Like, dog, where's Joe until you get hit by a car. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's how you get props. Like, dog, where's Joe? He got hit by a car, but he's playing next Tuesday. Like, that's how you got props, by getting hit by a car. Like, people would smash into, bro, to break. Those breaks weren't good back then either. Listen, when you broke a Cadillac glass, not a windshield,

because I understand what I'm saying, people. When you dented a fucking Cadillac grill in the 70s, you were going to a hospital. That's an instant fucking who's my name, squeezing the ball for the rest of your life. Those were different cars. It's not like hitting a fucking Hyundai now where the thing bends a little bit.

We used to play street hockey with Tom McCann hockey sneakers. Tom McCann, especially black bottoms so you would stick. Dog, and they had these things where it was just you played for your neighborhood. Like for your block. Like 38th Street had a team against 51st Street and you would walk over there with your hockey sticks no roller skates. And it was in the street.

And if you were in the middle of a fucking roll and a car was coming that motherfucker either had a weight or he was hitting you. And somebody would get hit once a fucking month. And that was like your badge of honor in those times. He got hit by a car. His head went through the side of a glass,

and he's coming back to play on Tuesday. This week in Jersey, you do not want to be in Jersey. And they're playing L.A. So this week, like Wednesday night, you ain't getting a soul out. You're going to sell out. I'm going to sell out. We're going to do fucking great. But the rest of the city will be fucking dead because the Kings are.

Devils? The Devils Kings. Starts Wednesday. That's amazing. I didn't even know until today. Somebody was like, yeah, the Kings are playing. In the finals? In Jersey?

I don't know where they're playing Wednesday. But wherever the fuck it is, you don't want to be in Jersey. So it's the Kings or the hockey team. I didn't even know that they had a hockey team. I thought they had the Devils. Right, right. The Devils are from Jersey. I think the Kings are from LA. The Kings didn't even know that they had a hockey team. I thought they had the Devils. Right, right, right. The Devils are from Jersey. Yeah, I think the Kings are from LA. The Kings are from LA.

Oh, LA Kings. Right, I've heard of that. Right. So remember, Harris Peet used to work for the Kings. Harris Peet worked for them? Yeah, he used to be like a hockey coach for them or something. He knew all those guys. I don't remember that.

I didn't know that. I just remember he worked at the comedy store and then didn't he get in a bad motorcycle accident i don't know i think he hurt himself he used to drive uh all the way up the coast on his bike but i'm pretty sure he wrecked that's so sad about paul williams man young kid what do you know about the story i just saw the headline story yet don't know much man how the story is brother you're on a fucking motorcycle in 2012 what's he doing on a motorcycle you, brother, you're on a fucking motorcycle in 2012. What's he doing

on a motorcycle? You know, Ben Rosenberger on a motorcycle. You got millions of dollars. It's in your contract. I understand you want to be Evel Knievel.

You know what? Go out to a fucking circle out in the swamps and ride your bike around in circles with a helmet and put a chick and have her suck your dick.

But to drive a motorcycle in today's society, my heart goes out to you. Seriously, especially Joe Rogan. You've seen him on the fucking 405, cuz. Doing 90 in between cars when you're stuck in bumper to bumper. Scary. They live in a different world.

They live in a different world than you live in. Their world is the world of they're on a ride, and it's a fucking engine strapped between their legs. And they're risking life. Red Band, what's the story you told me today? Play the fucking video for me. What? The guy with the helmet on where he chopped the car in half. Oh, yeah, we played it on here.

Yeah, with a deer. That shit happened on a motorcycle? You're chopping a deer in half with a fucking motorcycle? Yeah. Yeah, that was a crazy video. What the? Yeah, that guy just hit it just right. He hit that thing just right where he didn't die but he could easily fucking got flown through the fucking

air and landed on his neck yeah motorcycles are awesome but fuck that not worth it no no no protective outer shell so much fun well they're coming out with different jackets and clothes that is made out of a particular impact fiber that tightens up and hardens on impact. So you actually can fly through the air and land on the fucking concrete. And your body is protected from the impact by this stuff hardening on impact. Yeah, I don't understand it. I don't know how it works. But it's like, how the fuck, on impact. Yeah, I don't understand it. I don't know how it works. But, you know, it's like, how the fuck does an airbag work?

I don't understand that either. I mean, it just, the impact senses, they sense something, and it blows up this fucking bag in your face to save you. Well, I think this is far more complex in that the actual fabric itself has, like, that property built into it. Yeah. You know? The airbag saving you i remember years ago

my mother was driving in the snow 20 miles an hour real slow the car skid and she very lightly taps the telephone pole boom airbag deploys breaks her nose wow that's a big problem yeah and it kills kids in the front seat that's why you can't really have young kids in the front seat it's uh it's it's a pro and a con for some people, but whatever. If it saves a life, I'll take a fucking broken nose and go into it. I'm sure it saves tons of lives. Well, if you've done any training at all,

you've already broken your nose. It ain't that bad. Just stick some things in there. Open the passage up. The only problem is you've got to clean it out. Even then, it's not that big a deal. I don't think Mrs. Dolce got into any fights lately. She was a ref in the living room for that lady. This shit happens when you're the ref in the living room.

That's true. Do you ever try to talk fighters into getting deviated septum fixed? I talk all my fighters into dealing with doctors. I want all my guys to have a doctor that they can go to and that can help coordinate their health and keep on top of it. So deviated system septum if they're not getting enough oxygen we got to address that there's so many dudes that are out there doing that like mayhem mayhem has no nose his nose is totally useless and i try to tell him to fix that like you hear him talk you talk to me he's got that sort of nasally tone to his voice it's because his nose doesn't work he has to

spray afrin up there every day what is is that stuff? Is that what it is? What is that shit that opens up your... What is it called? Afrin. Is that what it is? The stuff that opens up your nostril. If he doesn't do that, he can't breathe out of his nose. And they're saying that stuff is really bad. It's addictive. It's the water. The water is better because I do the other thing. Yeah, the water is good, but

you should boil that water because there's been a bunch of cases recently of people getting parasites in their fucking head. Huh. Yeah. How about that? Real simple. Real simple.

The fucking water sometimes is stuff that gets killed by your stomach acids, and there's no problem whatsoever for that. But it's not the same if it goes up your nose. If it goes up your nose, it actually becomes there's just people have gotten infected. Look at all this. When you were a kid, you got fucking a hot pot of water and put some Vicks on that motherfucker with a brown paper bag. Yes, sir. And it would open up everything. Your eyeballs, you would see through walls for 10 minutes and shit.

Those are the good old fucking days. Yeah, fatal infections, by the way. In Louisiana, especially. Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals issued a warning about improper neti pot use, which has been linked to two deadly infections. 51-year-old woman from DeSoto Parish and a 20-year-old man from St. Bernard Padish died after using neti pots containing tap water to flush out their sinuses. Both became infected with, sweat this, Naugleria fowleri, a parasite known as a brain-eating amoeba. Jesus fucking Christ.

Brain-eating amoebas from your tap water that you get from fucking pouring water up your nose. Water is poison. Water is filled with poison aliens that want to eat your brain. Wrap your fucking head around that. I mean, that's essentially what you're dealing with. You're dealing with a life force. I mean, this isn't like, oh, you've got some birth control pills in your nose. No, this is an actual parasite.

It's a living organism. It lives in fucking water that you drink. You pour it up your nose and it eats your brain. God damn! What the fuck is it? What's our next level here? Do we got to put a pill in water at the house and boil it? I don't believe this shit is any good either.

I know there's a fucking scam. LA on the West Coast. There's a fucking scam. I think you got to boil this. But if you go to Arizona, it tastes like dirt. They say the best water is in Jersey and New York there because they... I can't fucking see that. Especially when you have the Hudson, yes.

Holy shit. There's a lot of deaths linked to this shit, man. There is a lot of deaths linked to this. And it's all the same brain-eating parasite. Wow. Remember when Penn Jillette did the thing on bullshit, where he did the bar, the water bar in Hollywood, and he was giving people water,

like telling them this is water from Europe, the mountains. Meanwhile, the waiter was in the backyard filling the fucking bottles with water hoes, and these motherfucking mutts are like, oh, it's so harmony. It was the shit from the back fucking hose at the restaurant. The tap water. You know? So I don't trust dick when it comes.

This is the best. Oh, yo, this stuff gets into people's fucking. This is killing people that swim in fresh water. Where is this? In warm lakes. This is killing people in Kansas. Jesus Christ. Two kids died

because of this brain-eating amoeba after swimming in a warm lake in August. This is apparently like really common. Huh. Oh my God. What the fuck, man? Don't go swimming in lakes out there, people. Stay in your house.

Yeah, do not go swimming in lakes. And stay away from trees because that Japanese people. Stay in your house. Yeah, do not go swimming in lakes. And stay away from trees because that Japanese beetle will get in your fucking asshole. Ambiotic. Child from the inside out and shit. This is a meningiophilitis. Amiobotic. Amiobic? Amiobic.

Amiobic? A-M-O-E-B-I-C? How do you say that? Amoebic? Amoebic? Amoebic? M-E-I-N M-E-N-J-O- M-E-N-J-O-Encephalitis?

M-E-N-J-O-Encephalitis? You know, there's really no need to make the brain-eating parasite and give it another fucking complicated name. Why do they have, like, stage names? You know? They have, like, the name that you call them, like this is Notorious B.I.G., Brain-Eating Parasite,

and then they have this fucking crazy Latin bullshit that nobody can say. It's like, are you talking English to an English-speaking person, you fuck? What is this 70,000 fucking letter word? The IRS creates those words, I think. Yeah, what do they mean? They're fucking drugs, too. Lorazepam, I think. Yeah, what do you mean? Yeah.

Lorazepam, Valium, Warzapan, whatever the fuck. They have stage names. They have stage names. Just give me the fucking thing. What do you think? You think this parasite is man-created? Is it naturally occurring? No, it's naturally occurring.

It's like, you know, what people don't understand is when you see a lake, okay, that is not just water and fish, okay? That's an ecosystem. There's algae. There's plants that are growing in there. There's all sorts of, there's fish shit. Something has to eat that fish shit. There's a lot of things going on there.

There's parasites. You know, that's one of the reasons why it's not safe to eat freshwater sushi. You have to be really careful with freshwater sushi, like salmon and things along those lines. Even fish that migrate, like salmon, they get parasites, man. You should really only eat, like, saltwater fish, like tuna and yellowtail and things along those lines. Like, a lot of people, like health advisors tell you, there's a certain amount of people that are going to get worms, they're going to get parasites from eating sushi.

Just is what it is, especially if you eat freshwater stuff. You know, you don't know where the fuck that's coming from you know these could be coming from those farms like farm raised fish for sure well you ever want to see those things they're just swimming pools filled with fish shit fish and fish shit and they're throwing pellets in there and the fish eat the pellets it dyes their muscles so it is actually orange yeah that's the weirdest thing about domestic domestic trout and of salmon they don't even have the same color of their bodies what the fuck is that man i mean is actually orange. Yeah, that's the weirdest thing about domestic trout and salmon. They don't even have the same color of their bodies.

What the fuck is that, man? I mean, you know, even when it comes to food as a nutrition guy, who the fuck do you trust anymore? Trust yourself. I mean, when you go to Whole Foods, am I getting the best meat

available to me when I go to Gelson's? And I'm just using these two names. Do I go to the butcher back to basics and get my own fucking cow? cow like most people doing now in the midwest they're raising their own cow and going over there on the weekends and feeding it and chopping it up i mean what do you trust start local you know try and start in your own backyard on your property then go to your neighbor you know start making little circles from your house and try and get your nutrients as local

as possible that's the best way to do it. And eventually you stumble onto the food chains like a Whole Foods or Trader Joe's or whatever else. And then you have to be very specific. Look for local sources that they get it from. What do you do when a guy's a vegan? That's awesome. Do you think that's healthy? Absolutely.

Absolutely? Absolutely. You just have to be careful about you know as a as a is it healthy for all 120 years of your existence maybe or maybe not is it healthy if you're a combat athlete maybe or maybe not is it healthy you know geographically where you're located do you have a full supply of all the nutrients necessary the plant-based nutrients necessary maybe or maybe not but veganism as a philosophy or as a goal, I think is excellent. Do we need meat proteins? They certainly work very well, but

there are other options that should be considered. And I think it's very unique to the individual in your moment, in this space and time, maybe veganism is the right thing. I like what I call vegan modified, where we go through cycles. I go through cycles. I go like three days of vegan every three weeks or so or three months of vegan a year. I play with little things like that but also other ways, hardcore meats.

Now I'm getting away from red meats a little bit more lately so I'm kind of dabbling in other areas, more plant-based things. When you talk to people about veganism, how do you set up to make sure that they get all the amino acids, all the nutrition, all the things just based on plants? You have to be careful, right? Absolutely. People don't understand you can get protein from certain things, but it's not going to be a complete protein. There's certain aspects of it that you're not going to get that you would get from meat. Absolutely. So how do you monitor that? Protein is broken down into amino acids.

So you have to look at the nine essential amino acids. Are you getting those in abundance based upon your need? What's your requirement? How often are your muscles rebuilding itself? Let's say we'll talk about athletes. They have a demand on their body. They break their muscles down and they need protein and amino acids to rebuild that, get it back to the baseline, and then improve from there. Doing that as a vegan is very difficult, especially here in the United States, North America.

It's very hard just because there aren't quality vegan products available that aren't genetically modified. I think genetically modified products do worse for you. I do believe they do worse for you because we can't determine, can't predict the outcome. We don't know what the future result is going to be. We don't know what the long-term use is. And I think there's immediate distortion in the way the body absorbs the nutrients. And by the word genetically modified, kind of explain to people, what most people don't understand is that there are certain plants that are genetically modified for various reasons.

And some of them are to avoid parasites. Some of them are to not get killed by pesticides so they can spray pesticides over everything. I mean, tell us some of the other reasons why. It's profit is why they're genetically modified. They're genetically modified so the plants can grow bigger and stronger and faster. It's PEDeds is what genetically modified uh gmo genetically you mean performance enhancing drugs for plants exactly that's exactly what it is and there is a toxic effect to it you know i don't believe any man can step in and can

alter what was naturally occurring on the planet with a positive uh outcome you know uh i just don't think we have the ability i think we're foolinging ourselves. The scientists and the people involved are fooling ourselves. In general. It certainly has that feeling to it like they haven't done all the due diligence as far as the long-term benefits. It seems like it's food. We're saying it's food. It is food. Everybody knows that food is okay.

It's not poison, so run with it. It looks like food. It looks like a photo of food more than it looks like food. And that's the problem. Well, when Monsanto gets involved, first of all, they have patents on, essentially have patents on life. That alone is very strange. I mean, what if, you know, the idea is, like, they do this for certain drugs. Like, that's how bath salts have become legal,

is what they essentially did was took something that's illegal and modified it very slightly, and then it becomes legal. They add one molecule to it, and then it's not the same thing legally, so then it's okay. Well, when you do that with life, you're owning all the corn. That idea is insane, that they can take corn, and then they add a little thing to the corn. Now they own all that corn because they created it the fuck you created

that's like going up to a porsche and you know and painting stripes on it and saying well i created this porsche now i get the patent on this porsche it's like it's complete total that's a terrible analogy i know i tried to say you're pushing at the top of my head yeah but the idea that they tried to they tried to uh patent, they tried to patent pigs. They tried to patent, literally patent pig parts because they're genetically modifying pigs. They're trying to patent a pig they genetically modify. These are like some really unscrupulous, dangerous ideas. Like this is, you're going to own life.

Like what's next? Are you going to take a person and modify just one little strand in that person's DNA and you made them from a zygote that someone had left behind in a fucking frozen lab when people take their embryos and they discard them? Are you sure your frozen embryos are discarded? What if someone comes along and adds a few fucking molecules to them? Oh, it's not a person anymore. It's a human fuckbag.

I just take it around with me. It doesn't talk. It can't go to work. It just listens to me and I get to fuck it. I mean, and it grows to full maturity in 24 months. That's not outside the realm of possibility. It sounds ridiculous. I mean, it's obviously a joke, but if you can patent

tomatoes, if you can patent, if you can own the design to something that all you did was alter, that's crazy. That's really crazy. And these politicians that have let this take place, you motherfuckers are guilty. You're all guilty. You're all cunts and crooks, and you've fucked up the whole world because you started a chain of events and that chain of events due to fucking greed due to special interest groups due to lobbyists due to all those assholes that laced your fucking pockets and allowed you to allow people to do something you know is fucking evil and against nature you

know it is they're gonna patent pigs get the fuck out of here you crazy assholes drop it you crazy greedy cunts have set a chain of events in place that might take down the whole human race. Congratulations. Because the thing about people, man, when they start making money, when they start making money with something, whether it's from bombing people or poisoning people, or once you start making money at something, it's very hard to change the law, very hard to stop that chain of events because once they're in the money's flowing People are getting greased. There's no motivation whatsoever to stop that and that's Big money trillions of dollars worldwide more than the whole United States economy. Yeah

This is a dirty dirty world forever i don't know so what administration that they fucking con that's probably reagan probably start off with reagan a lot of bad shit started with the reagan administration before that a lot of bad shit started with reagan let's batten the pig that is that that was the first. That was the first puppet. That was the first. We had a guy who made a living out of faking it, and he became the main guy that we needed to tell the truth. He was a professional liar.

Ronald Reagan was an actor, and essentially actors are all professional liars. He was a really good convincing liar, and that motherfucker was the president, and from there it all turned to shit. And now today, it's amazing. Everybody forgets that. Let me see when it started. It doesn't say when it started here.

Oh, 1901. Shazam, son. They've been fucking things up for a long time. They started in St. Louis. Isn't that crazy? These crazy assholes. And I bet you know what? I bet they started off as a legitimate company.

Trying to improve on products. Sure. You know? They probably were just trying to make better corn. Yep. Probably trying to make a better tomato that doesn't rot out so quick. They probably thought they were doing good things. And then next thing you know, they're buying up Mercs.

Taking over the fucking world 200 000 indian farmers have committed suicide because of them it's amazing yeah they got a loophole for all of them yeah they do international law they got a loophole for all of them they would not fucking do it that's where the law is beautiful because we got like you said genetically so i put it put two leaves on top of a fucking tomato, and that's it. I could change the fucking tomato because my tomato has two little fucking leaves. It doesn't have a stem. Can you imagine that shit?

It's really ridiculous. That's really ridiculous. I never knew about that. It's really ridiculous. It's ridiculous that you're allowed to do that. It's criminal. There's so many laws that are in place that are just so spectacularly corrupt. It's hard to imagine that anybody takes voting seriously at this point.

Who does take voting seriously, unfortunately? I don't anymore. I don't hear any of my peers talking about it with confidence like it matters. People talk about politics and politicians like they talk about reality TV. It's not real anymore. All that hopey changey shit. Hopey changey. You know, that was what Sarah Palin said about Obama.

How's that hopey changey thing working out for you? She said that. It's kind of brutal when it's coming from a dingbat like her. But meanwhile, she's fucking right. She's on it. This ain't no hopey changey going on. We're doing the same goddamn shit. The economy's still sliding.

Everybody's talking about, oh, the job market re-bounced back. They hired more government people. That's it. How bad, the job market re-bounced back. They hired more government people. That's it. How bad is the job market? Are you guys out of work? The people you know are out of work. Are you hearing about everybody hurting? Yes.

I know the housing market is garbage because I know many people have lost their home. A lot of people have. When you go to Vegas for a UFC and compare that. That's because I live in Vegas because all I see is people spending money and making money. When I go to Cleveland, when I go to Columbus, I gauge. You look around. We're here in LA. We're in the comedy business, the movie business.

We see Mercedes. But that's just a short amount. That's why After and SAG merged. I mean, even shit's hurting fucking here. But it's amazing when you look at an election and after you live through an election. Like once you live through, what's the guy, the guy that came on the chick's dress? Clint. Once you live through his election, you really learned what an election was all about.

And you learned that. It's like when people look at a sporting event. They want to gamble and they look at the points spread. That's the least of your fucking worries. There's so many circumstances around that. When you look at an election and see how somebody won, you know, when Clinton, they just involved MTV. That's it. You've seen them.

They involved a generation that didn't think they had a vote, and they just involved it. And you see the little scams. They sell the sizzle, not the steak. And that's it. And if you keep buying into the fucking sizzle, eventually one day, it doesn't take long after two elections when you're 30 and you've seen two or three elections to go, nothing has changed. By the time you're 30, you should see this and nothing's really changed. I'm going to go down there and drive old people to vote or whatever the fuck it is. I'm still registered in my hometown in North Bergen, New Jersey. I've had 19 fucking felonies

and I still vote there on an absentee ballot because they don't give a fuck. You've got to kill somebody in Jersey to stop voting. Even then, you vote to your spirits fucking voting. Okay, you ready for this? Monsanto made Agent Orange. Isn't that what's in

the roundup, which is what's in the corn? No, Agent Orange is what they sprayed on the crops in Vietnam. I know that. They kill them and all these fucking people, including John, our driver in Atlanta. Remember that guy? Yeah. That guy was awesome. Our driver in Atlanta, he's sick from Agent Orange from Vietnam.

Wow. Yeah. Agent Orange. Oh, and DDT as well. That's cute. They made DDT. Wow. What a crazy company.

That's ridiculous. They began manufacturing DDT in 1944. Oh, my God. The insecticide was much welcomed in the fight against malaria-transmitting mosquitoes. And then I guess it's not good, right? Maybe develop for a good purpose and then bastardize into profit. What's really good for killing mosquitoes, though, and mosquitoes are cunts, this is a fucking crazy cycle, man.

There's a war going on. All you vegans that love animals more than you love people, that's where I draw the line. That's where I think you people are fucking crazy. If there's a team you should be on it's team people a hundred percent i don't think you should be on team buffalo or team chicago or anything silly like that but as a race who the fuck can you relate to if you can't relate to human beings and people that are like there was a mountain lion that got shot in santa monica last week people protest oh my god they went crazy yeah

why did you shoot the woman was like on facebook this lady was like i would gladly take a bullet for a mountain lion yeah you understand the emotion right the love she has maybe for nature for life in itself but the lack of love she has in life with humans with humans yeah i mean humans your own you know if it was the a family member so she said before a person she said i would gladly take a bullet for a mountain lion or a. She said before a person. She said, I would gladly take a bullet for a mountain lion or a bear before I would a person. Meanwhile, bears don't give a fuck about you.

If you got shot right in front of a bear, boom, your fucking head exploded. The bear would walk over, sniff you, look around, start eating you.

Start eating your entrails. Very simple. That's what the bear would do. That sweet mama bear would start eating your asshole. Call her little kids over and jump in. Mountain lions don't give a fuck if you get shot, you dummy. That's what the bear would do. That sweet mama bear would start eating your asshole. Call her little kids over. Mountain lions don't give a fuck if you get shot, you dummy.

You ridiculous bitch. And this is out here? Of course it is out here. It's where people are soft. It's crazy out here. Walking into restaurants is like walking into a reality show set. You know, having dinner here last night was a trip and breakfast this morning. In what way?

Just walk in and you see like it's like cast members. Perfect outfits. The dude with the scarf around you know what i mean and he's sitting there at dinner and he's got the the cute little girlfriend who's all done up looking like she's straight off mtv the hair's perfect and he's talking he's acting like he's a uh you know a jason silva wannabe oh how smart he is and how much more he knows in like his 22 years on the planet than you know her because she's only 21 and a half there's a lot of needy out here it's it's nuts yeah everything was a performance it is crazy it really is crazy especially the ones that get ready to look messy this is that they actually take an hour i don't want to look like i did myself yeah i want to look like i walked out of a bomb shed let me walk out and they get the hair and they

actually moose it so that it is so fucking crazy. It's nuts. It's fucking crazy. Thank you for fucking noticing that. Oh, Jesus. It's cool though. It's like walking through the Matrix. It is strange. I try not to spend too much time in Hollywood itself, but

if you do, you sometimes be surprised at how blatant it is. I was like, Jesus, is this real? This seems like it's so stereotypical. So stereotypical. How did you guys not see how goofy you look? Truman Show. It's like a big set. Well, I think reality shows have really changed the culture significantly, and most of us

don't understand it or see it because we're out there in the world of stand-up comedy and the world of MMA. Two very, very real worlds. But in California, the reality is you can get famous for fucking nothing. And if you do have a good concept, it's like I saw one where there was a guy who has a bunch of pretty girls who cut hair for him, and he has a reality show. It's a fucking haircut place, and they wear bikinis, and they cut hair,

and it's on HDNet. I was like, Jesus Christ, you're just swinging at everything there's enough out there that all someone has to do is be like semi-outrageous and next thing you know they're they're a professional personality you know and maybe they don't you know that that attention desire is unhealthy like maybe it's like junie browning you know like where it's coming from a place that's probably not that healthy the way he's lashing out like that. Absolutely. A place of a lack of discipline or a place of a lack of love early on in his life or whatever the fuck it is.

And currently, most likely. Yeah, currently, most likely. Yeah, I mean, the last thing you want to do with a dude like that is, you know, put a fucking camera in his face and take him drinking. You gotta give him a hug, you know. Go drink some chamomile tea. I mean, how many guys went fucking absolutely apeshit bananas that were on The Ultimate Fighter? face and take him drinking. Give him a hug, you know? Go drink some chamomile tea. How many guys went fucking absolutely apeshit bananas that were on The Ultimate Fighter? A lot, man. Mikey Burnett,

remember he ran into the fucking wall headfirst and broke his neck? He fucked his neck up, man. Mikey put a helmet on and ran headfirst into a wall. Like, you can't do that. Lock 16 dudes up in a house for six weeks.

Make them fight each other. It's incredible. It's the craziest idea for a show ever. The Ultimate Fighter is a genius fucking program. Great TV. The reason why Forrest and Stefan Bonner went at each other so hard. Those motherfuckers have been staring each other down for weeks. For weeks and

weeks and weeks. Training and staring each other down. Knowing that they were going to eventually throw kn been staring each other down for weeks. Yeah. For weeks and weeks and weeks, training and staring each other down. Yep. Knowing that they were going to eventually throw knuckles at each other. Two pit bulls in the cage, right? Yeah. Staring at each other. The finals of the Ultimate Fighter this weekend. You're not even going.

No, I'm not going. I'm doing Canada. I don't do the FX ones anymore. I don't do the Fuel or the FX ones. But I miss doing the finals of the Ultimate Fighter. It's fun indoctrinating these guys and seeing them get their trophy and seeing how happy they are. That's a real journey, man, to go in that house for all those weeks. And now it's 13 weeks.

Now it's even longer. That's nuts. These guys are locked away for 13 weeks now. Yeah, a long time. A lot of them have families. A lot of them have children they can't see. That's three goddamn months plus. That's crazy.

You think it's hard going on the road for a couple of weeks. No internet. No TV. Nothing. They get to watch the fights. No book. No Bible. No books.

Nothing. Nothing. No Bible? No Bible. They used to be able to read Bibles, right? Is that true? On my season, they, as a prop, let me have one on fight day. And that's the only piece of literature that was allowed on that day.

And I think because Ramp really you know worked it in Some bed if you want to do something wacky though like the read Satan's Bible You know read some fucking six six six you yeah if you want to do something yeah You wanted to get crazy you fucking wore eyeliner when you fought and shit That's the new gimmick isn't it funny that you could legally smoke a couple of cigarettes right before you fought and nobody would stop you? Yep. So stupid. And EPO is not illegal, is it?

Is it illegal? I don't think so. I don't think they screen for EPO. What's EPO? EPO is a performance-enhancing drug that cyclists are very fond of because it increases the amount of red blood cells in your body. It basically mimics the effects. Now, can you drink five-hour energy and throw in there?

I think that might have. Yeah, that only has the caffeine of a cup of coffee. Five-hour energy is predominantly B12. One of the reasons why it works so well. That's also what's also in that shroom tech sport, a shitload of fucking B12. And you'll be like, that shroom tech sport, you take four of those bitches and then you go work out

an hour later, go work out. God damn, man. B12 is fucking incredible. And cordyceps mushrooms, that's the mushroom that those people in high altitude take. They started noticing their cattle were eating them and then being more active. So people eventually started experimenting with them

and taking them. And it helps your body just produce more oxygen or uh absorb more oxygen and you've tried it you use it you've tried i love it yeah do you feel a cognitive advantage by using it or just i feel the cognitive advantage for sure for from this alpha brain stuff i'm i am really fucking a pussy with this stuff if i go on the road i panic if i fuck up and forget this and i have them send me some to hotels you know i don't i don't want to be without this stuff. If there's like a show I have to do, or if I have to do a podcast, or I have to write, you know, I want my brain firing. I don't, I don't, you know, yeah, you could be fine if you eat a cheeseburger and don't eat healthy. Yeah,

you could be fine if you only got three hours sleep. I can perform on all those things. I can do that. I can pull it together. Sure. But we all know what's optimum. You all know when we feel the best. Like you were saying when you go on the road, that's a terrible feeling when you have to fly in and then you have to do radio. You're fucking exhausted and you try to get some sleep that day, but you don't really get enough. And then you got to wake up and go do a show. Not now. I'm talking about 10 years ago when you flew into Houston on Tuesday night. You went out to eat.

You went back to eat, you went back to your room four in the morning. You used to have those two hours. Radio. Remember, there used to be afternoon radio. Yeah, we used to have to do that. So two days, you didn't even fucking sleep. You slept an hour.

By the time Friday came, you can't fucking think straight. You got two shows to do. Yeah, well, that's the best thing ever about the podcast. We don't have to do morning radio anymore. Although there are friends of ours that still like to go on their shows like Opie and Anthony and guys along those lines. There's still a lot of shows I like to do. Dale Dudley and Austin.

I need sleep, man. Sleep is fucking important. I'll tell you what sometimes. Sometimes it's even good to be a little unconscious. I've had my best sets on two hours of sleep. Not drug induced the night before. I'm talking about two hours because you had to fly.

Well, you come into it with a different attitude. Right. You really do. When you're unconscious sometimes, you don't want to think about what the fuck you're doing. You know, I'm 40 fucking nine years old. I went to New York with Joe a couple weeks ago. And we're at a hotel. And I wanted to smoke.

And there was a balcony. And it was a crickety motherfucking balcony and it was small and I get out there the first night and I'm smoking two hits and I look down. Do you know I threw the joint away and walked back into the place. Oh my God, it was mind boggling. But then the next

night I went out there again and I hit it again I didn't look down and nothing happened. I walked in like nothing. I said, you know what? That's like our lives. When we look at something, sometimes it's better not to fucking look. Just go in there and go, you know what? Give me this fucking yum-yum pill.

There you go. Give it to me, cocksucker. What's up, baby? My dojo. One more question I got, and then I got to go. Shoot. I got to ask you something, because I don't know what a, first off, what is the paleo diet? The paleo diet, paleo diet i think

is the pronunciation paleolithic period so the period before agriculture so meat yeah meat and vegetables there's things that grow and you know just animals like today i had i had a protein shake for breakfast and i had the tuna for lunch what kind of protein uh the one from fucking way from gnc okay eight ounces of milk, two ice cubes, boom. Because it gets me going. I can't leave the house without eating. Yeah. So I need something.

My blood sugar goes down. I get dizzy and shit, right? So then for lunch, I had a little six-ounce ribeye that I cut thin. I go to the butcher. Nice. And I fry it up with garlic with a little bit of fucking spam, and that's it. You know, I like Joe Rogan. I like fucking a good steak. You know, I can, I'm like Joe Rogan. I like fucking a good steak.

You know, I can't eat a 22-ounce sirloin no more like when I was 22 in northern New Jersey at the Berkshire Diner, but I like an 8-ounce, a 10-ounce strip. In your book, you always use the turkey meat. Any particular? Well, I think right now, a lot of people are too, in this country, red meat dependent,

and their source of red meat is the wrong source. They'll go to McDonald's. That's red meat to them. That's a burger that's good. They'll go to Outback. I don't know the quality per se, but I'm sure it's pretty confident it's not the highest quality. And they'll eat excessive amounts of that, 12 ounce, 16 ounce, constantly two meals a day, three meals a day, they'll have bacon, pork bacon at breakfast. The calorie content at the end of the day is so much

higher than some of the leaner meats, the poultry, the turkey, chicken, things like that. So red meat, certainly if that's part of your mindset, part of your culture, and you don't have any pre-existing medical conditions, right? You're not barred from eating red meat for whatever reason. It's certainly fine. It's fine to have in there. But in moderation, I think everything in moderation, you should certainly rotate through the lean protein sources, the animal protein sources,

just like you should through the plant-based sources. I finally had on Joe's recommendation on one of these guys, the ostrich burger. I took two bites of it. Fucking delicious. It's so good. Oh, ostrich burger at Fuddruckers? God damn it. Not a go to Fuddruck guys, the ostrich burger. I took two bites of it. Fucking delicious. It's so good. Oh, ostrich burger at Fuddruckers? God damn, that's good.

Not a go to Fuddruckers, Doug. Stop talking about food. Oh, it was fucking delicious. You know, I had two bites just to, you know, like I said, I got to prepare my shelf for myself and shit. I like the extra lean turkey meat manwiches. Like, I just replace the meat with extra lean turkey and just put a little bit of half of the packet of the seasoning on it.

And it tastes just like manwich, but it's extra lean turkey. Dramatically less calories. Yeah, right? Yeah. What do you feel about supplements? Like what kind of things you get your guys on? You know, the first thing we get them on is the food. Make sure they're eating a well-balanced diet of earth-grown nutrients in a consistent lifestyle.

Once that's been firmly established, then we can start to determine what supplements they may need. Why do we start shotgunning supplements in place of food and then start to fill in the blanks with food? It should be the other way around. So we get that diet established first, and then we start looking at supplements. And honestly and realistically, the supplements are very small and it's dependent upon the person. Of course, some guys prefer supplements. They have more of that mentality, but the people that don't, aren't already biased towards supplements typically don't want to take supplements and have, you know, tremendous feedback, you know, and it's not, you know, medical data that, you know,

we get blood work done there, you know, exactly where they should be. So it really doesn't warrant supplements in most of the cases. And that's most of the guys I work with. Do you do blood work on the guys? I, I suggested, I recommend it. I'm not a doctor, but that's why I almost insist now with all my athletes, they work directly with a doctor. They get their blood work pulled every, you know, four to six weeks. Um, so we can analyze the data. You know, we constantly need to see where the athletes at. It's like. It's like they're dropping their hand when they bring it back. Health is the same way. We've got to stay on top of everything.

Now, when you see shit going down like this Alistair Overeem thing where they're checking him, you know, not even post-fight, but during training, you know, when they did the random drug test on everybody and Alistair, it turned out that he had taken some medication. The story is that he had taken some medication and it inadvertently had testosterone in and he wasn't aware he was going to get tested yeah what do you how do you feel about these sort of situations I think it's a lot of grandstanding it's politics it's bureaucracy you know you test the guys at competition you know

that that's fine or unless there's some sort of agreement beforehand you know like they're talking about out of season-season blood testing. Whatever. If that's the agreement, that's what the athlete's competing under, that's fine. But I think the surprise drug test at the press conference, they're setting guys up to pinch them. Now, should these guys be taking things? It's a whole other conversation. And without knowing specifics, it's not my place to talk about it.

But I think it's really politics. It probably comes down to dollars or it comes down to ego and it comes down to some sort of power struggle instead of truly trying to clean up the sport. I don't think that's the way to clean up the sport. I think that's the way to kind of, you know, further agendas. And I don't think that agenda is a helpful. Yeah. It does get weird when, you know, it becomes an ego battle. Like I caught you and you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing. And, you know, it's like, where do you draw the line? And what's legal and what's not legal? I mean, who gets to decide?

What is fair? Why is creatine legal? Creatine works. Creatine is fucking. Creatine works, absolutely. Creatine is a real performance-enhancing supplement. It's legit. It works.

Just like caffeine is. Just like caffeine is. Well, caffeine is a tricky one because you can use a little bit of it. You's legit. It works. Just like caffeine is. Just like caffeine is. Well, caffeine is a tricky one because you can use a little bit of it. We covered that. It's weird that they let you use a little bit of it. Let me ask you something, dog. What is the general public pissed about?

That the people are doing steroids while they're training or while they're performing? I.e., throwing Roger Clemens in this motherfucker. Why are they mad at Roger Clemens, Joe? Because he was pitching, doing steroids before he pitched? No, well, the argument, what's really pathetic is the argument is, first of all, Congress got involved, which is absurd. Congress?

Congress. Baseball? Congressional hearings. They had congressional hearings on people taking chemicals that aren't illegal. They aren't legal in order to get better at playing baseball. A ball with a stick, and Congress is getting involved. By the way, while two wars are going on. The thing that they come down on the hardest is his example that he sets

for the young kids who look up to him because he's doing America's favorite pastime. And because it's America's favorite pastime, there's congressional hearings on it as opposed to cycling. There's way more evidence of widespread abuse of cyclists than there is of baseball players even. It's almost like all cyclists, it seems like, are on something. Did Lance Armstrong get caught or did he get free? What happened? Did he plea bargain? What the legal term is, I'm not sure. But he's had heat coming his way for a long time.

Yeah, is he free yet, though? I don't know. Because there was some article in a magazine. It was like, the trouble's behind him. Lance Armstrong looks for him. I'm like, what are you talking about, the trouble's behind him? That guy got caught. He's caught.

What athlete isn't looking for competitive advantage? Not the combat sports not football not baseball right nascar and tennis golf you think that they're not using cognitive supplements drugs who knows what it is techniques um artificial ways have you heard of sledgeline so i have not sledgeline is some new um cycle of mentally performance enhancing drug something that lasts like three hours. It's like some new thing that my doctor actually told me about. He says it's staggering.

The newest. Yeah. The newest, best thing. It lasts for like three hours. And it just turns you into a machine? I don't know, man. I haven't done it yet. I haven't done it, but I'm scared to do it

because I'll do that shit all day. I wonder what it's like when you mix it with weed. You know? Report back. Could you imagine? Take that like when you mix it with weed you know report could you imagine take that shit and you mix it with weed and all of a sudden you know you become like dr manhattan for three hours you know we both i mean i i don't know but i i know what it takes to be a champion and the reason why you would take those things is to recuperate. Anything after 30, you're in your prime, whatever, I can understand. I mean, if you're testing me at the fight day

and I'm clean, I don't get it. Right. I mean, I think... Well, the thing is, the enhancement is not just the enhancement inside, you know, when you test clean. Okay, so if you go to a fight, you test clean. It doesn't mean you've been cleaning your whole camp.

It means you cleaned yourself up the last few days or whatever the fuck it is you took, as long as you're not taking oil-based things. You can take testosterone up until, like, you know, a certain amount of time before the fight and still test normal. And the problem with that is that you have been able to train harder than the other guy because you have been unnaturally elevated in your testosterone levels. So you've been able to do two and three workouts a day. And that's what there's a bunch of guys that are saying that one of the issues with training with so many guys getting injured is that a lot of the guys who are getting injured

are not using. And these are the reasons why they're getting injured is because they're keeping up with guys who are using and they're trying to keep the same pace as guys who are using and their body is fucking breaking down yeah because the the shit that you they're dealing with when you're dealing with a guy that is training three times a day and each session is at least an hour to two hours long and they're intense sessions and they're doing it for six to eight weeks there is a lot of tissue breakdown and a lot of that tissue has to be built back up you know that's also a problem with this performance enhancing drug argument about testosterone replacement therapy because if you catch me when i've been up all night and i haven't gotten any

sleep and i've been working out two to three times a day and you go and you get your testosterone test guess what fuckface it's going to be really low you know why it's really low because your body's broken down so if you and and then you supplement the testosterone well that is unnatural and you also have to realize that some guys are coming into camp with there's not like one standard level of fitness that guys are coming into camp with some guys come into camp and these are like hers Herschel Walker type dudes that are in shape all year round, never get fat, never get out of shape, always disciplined, always training. So they have a much thicker base. When they get in, their cardiovascular base is healthier. Their muscle endurance base is healthier.

Everything is healthier. So they don't have to worry about overtraining as much. They can keep a pace that the other guy can't. But if those other guys try to keep up with that dude, that's when shit goes bad. So I see the argument that you shouldn't be allowed to be on steroids while you're fighting. But you shouldn't be allowed to train on them either. If you're going to make them illegal, they've got to be illegal to train with too. Because otherwise, we have an unrealistic bar.

I'm not saying that performance-enhancing hormonal supplements shouldn't be legal. Because I think they probably should. They should just be closely monitored. And you've got to decide how you want to regulate this. Because eventually, we're going to come up with things that are better than this, and it's going to go by the wayside. Science is not going to stop at testosterone replacement or hormonal replacement or bio-identic hormones. They're going to have genetic engineering. It's coming. You're going to be able to literally manipulate

your DNA. It's unquestionable, whether it's 100 years from now or whether it's 50 years from now or 20 years from now. I don't know when it's going years from now or whether it's 50 years from now or 20 years from now. I don't know when it's going to take place, but there's going to be something that comes along, make no mistake about it, that makes steroids obsolete. So then the argument is going to be do we just say fuck science? Do we say fuck progress? Do we say that or do we decide that, well, you know what? If you want to compete as an athlete, you can't take the stuff that your fucking neighbor, the postman, is taking. And the guy can jump over buildings.

Your neighbor can fly through the air like the Hulk. But you can't take that if you want to compete in kickboxing. It gets a little squirrely. Absolutely. Because what steroids are is science. I mean, they work. Absolutely. They work.

You can't look like Lee Haney. You can't look like that without some science. You can't do it. That's a whole other lifestyle, let's say, than an athlete. Right, sure. What Lee Haney and those guys are doing on that side of the sports performance. Yeah, that's not really an athlete. That's like sort of an artist with your body, right?

It is. It's a science project also, and those guys know it. They're trying to do things that have never been done before. They're experimenting on themselves with all these new chemicals and new compounds. Remember the synthol craze back in the day when these dudes were injecting oil into their muscles to shape out? It was an oil that would expand, blow up their muscle like a balloon, and it would stay and look like that. Isn't that ridiculous? It's crazy.

And where'd that oil go? It looks gross. There were a few guys that actually did it well, can't say names, but are known to have done it. Oh, yeah? Some of the most classic, you know, like the artistic type of physique. Just amazing, amazing things. Didn't Carrot Top do that recently? It might have been Photoshopped.

He looks like, I don't know, but he's doing something. He did it or it was Photoshopped? No, he's yoked, though. No, no, no. He was always yoked, but there was like some added ridiculousness. No, no, no, he was always yoked, but there was like some added ridiculousness Like Brian look up Google Carrot top synth all s y n th o l. I'm not hating on carrot top by the way I don't ever hate on that too. I think I think carrot top seems like a nice guy, you know, but he

Didn't just get swole It's craziness, Joey. It looks like he's got balloons in his arms. When I got a fucking three biceps on top of nine biceps, there's something not fucking right. No, it looks like fake tits, man. It looks crazy. It's like balloons inside your body. It doesn't look real at all.

We just watched Tom Platz's legs last week. Look at this. Which is awesome. Take a picture right here, Brian. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Double click on that. Oh, I see what you're saying. See how it pops out like this. Yeah, which is awesome. Take a picture right here, Brian. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Double click on that. Oh, I see what you're saying.

See how it pops out like balloons? Yeah, the shoulders. Yeah, it's not real. It's like the- They could be implants, dog. Well, I don't think it is, though. I think you just, like this guy. Yeah.

Click on that guy. That guy's a famous guy for it. That guy, I was in contact with him on Twitter for a little while. He's the guy that, he was on that HBO show about it. That guy, I was in contact with him on Twitter for a little while. He's the guy that he was on that HBO show about it. Yeah. Yeah. Steroid. Carrot Top Steroids. That's like... Jesus. Yeah.

He's got a good body. He's built. Sexy. Carrot Top. Carrot Top. Looking pretty sexy. That synthol thing though, there's a look up synthol dance. Boy, synthol dance is a guy who has synthol tits and synthol arms, and he's, like, dancing around, and it doesn't even look remotely real, man. It bounces up and down like he's got water balloons in his arms and tits. It's really strange, and he's, like, dancing.

You know, you think of all the people that take the juice and fucking really, you know, stick to the thing, you know, the diet. How about the Yahoos in Jersey? I mean, you worked Montego Bay. What about the guys down there that are just shooting that shit daily? They're taking the pills with a beer and a line of blow. You think I'm fucking? I saw it.

I saw it. Your boy. I saw my boy Danny Bian, one time at his house. On the phone, arguing with his bitch. Yeah, fuck you. You fuck. And he's walking back and forth. And all of a sudden, on top of his safe.

In his safe was like money and a thousand of those little vials. And he would take them out. And he would cut the coat. And while he was doing a line, his mom would shoot him in the ass. His mom comes in. His mom. Jesus. Ma, hurry up.

I'm on the phone. I'm hot. I'm cooking. And he would fucking just pop him in the fucking ass, and that's it. And I knew for a fact. I ran with, you know, I was in Jersey in the early 80s when B-12 was in the ass. If you ever shot it, my boys were shooting that shit. And I used to drive my buddy to a house where there were guys,

and they would blast them with the B-12, the deck of the Roblin. You know, in those days, it was deck of D-ball, Anaval, Winstroll. It was very basic, five or six of them. Sure. And he would get the B-12, and he would go, Coco, as soon as they shoot you, you get tasted in your fucking mouth. Bam. Bam! Yeah.

He tasted your mouth. He would taste the metal, like pennies. they shoot you you could taste it in your fucking mouth bam bam yeah he's in your mind that's what he would taste in his mouth the vitamin will pop right up okay and uh it was amazing how all those guys are dead yeah he didn't die from the h.i he had to deliver the one what's number two the hepatitis hepatitis two where you can't drink and but the rest of those boys that were shooting they they all died of the HIV. Jesus. Yeah, from the 80s. They didn't know. Nobody knew back then.

They were in a room going, fuck it, look at my biceps. They're bigger than yours. Shoot it. Bam. Fuck it. And they were sharing needles doing this stuff? They were sharing needles, yeah. You didn't know.

In 82, nobody fucking knew. Well, you know, bodybuilding and just lifting to get big is so different than doing it for a skill and for a sport. You know, what these guys are doing as MMA athletes is just trying to compete in the craziest, most shark-infested fucking ocean there is as far as sports go. Fighters, professional fighters. You know, they're just trying to get any edge whatsoever. The most highly conditioned athlete in the world is the MMA athlete. It's amazing what these guys are doing and how it's still evolving. The evolution is still.

I mean, what GSP, you know, he was kind of ahead of the curve four, six years ago. Now the average kid, teenagers training like GSP used to not that long ago. Yeah, well, then there's the Rory McDonalds, these guys who have trained in MMA since they were boys, and they don't have a base in wrestling. They're MMA fighters from the jump. And when you're fully dedicated and involved like a guy like Rory is, and you're talented, and you're 21, and you're doing all the right things,

and you're disciplined, and you're focused, and you're keeping your eyes on your partner, some incredible results are possible. Surrounded by the right team, right? You've got Firas and GSP out there. That kid's a beast, man. And then along the lines of Jon Jones, along the lines of Jake Ellenberger, these new guys that are coming up

that are just fucking destroyers. That 170-pound division, think about how many fucking destroyers are in that division. Everybody. It's incredible. And then think of the same thing, 155. 155 is like, who the fuck is next?

I guess Nate is next in line for the shot, but there's so many fucking talented guys between Anthony Pettis and fucking Clay Guida, and this is just a soup of awesome fighters. And then there's Gilbert Melendez then Josh Thompson I mean those guys fucking went to war a couple weeks ago. That was an incredible fight Gilbert is right up there with the best in the world in my opinion I think he's right up there with anybody and I think Josh is as well Josh look fucking incredible in that fight

So I think that is the one of the number one problems with a bunch of different organizations I would like to get them all fucking, get them in together. But it's like, when you get like 155, it's like, man, there's so many fighters, it's almost impossible to get them all fight each other. The numbers are staggering. Put on more events, right?

Yes, how can you? We're struggling now. I mean, there's a reason, that's why I don't do the FX or the fuel shows anymore. It got to be just too crazy. Sure. I do the pay-per-views in the Fox, and then John Annex and Kenny Flor't do the FX or the fuel shows anymore. It got to be just too crazy. Sure. I do the pay-per-views and the Fox, and then John Annex and Kenny Florian do the other ones. And then I think Bonner's going to do more of them.

And Frank Mir, I think, is going to do Strike Force, I've heard. Frank Mir's great at it. Frank Mir's really good. He's a bright fucking guy, man. I saw him doing the WEC stuff years ago when he did a great job out of the gate. Did you ever work with him, nutrition-wise? No, I haven't. Spoke with him a few times just socially.

Super cool guy. Very intelligent. Very smart guy. Knows his body, knows his sport, knows science. Yeah, I think people sleep on how smart Frank Mir is. For sure. He's judged a lot, in my opinion, by his dark days, by the days where after the motorcycle accident.

Aren't we all? Yeah, of course. Of course we are. Yeah, he's a perfect example of a guy who got it back together again. People don't remember when Pei De Pano beat him, when Brendan Vera stopped him. That Frank Mir has no resemblance to the Frank Mir of today.

He's a killer. Yeah, but even he couldn't stop that Junior Dos Santos freight train. Who can right now? Well, that's one of the reasons why I wanted to see Alistair fight him, man. I think if anybody, look, Alistair is, in my opinion, the most technical striker in the fucking heavyweight division period sure alistair's a beast man the way he throws leg kicks his technique is perfect he's strong as fuck he's big you know and at heavyweight he's been massively successful you know once he put all that weight on

and you know he he changed his his focus and his uh his uh his training methods and and concentrated a lot on physical strength and you know the technique has always been there yeah and he's concentrated a lot on his endurance and really worked hard it's unfortunate that that fight didn't take place it's unfortunate that if you thought even if alistair's telling the truth and that's exactly what happened a doctor fucked him you know a doctor shot him up with something he added some inflammation and some problems and the doctor gave him some anti-inflammatories mixed with testosterone, which you know, as well as anybody, will help you heal. Sure.

But you're not supposed to be doing that, right? I mean, that's the idea. You're not supposed to be taking that ever if you're a professional fighter, right? That's the idea behind it. It's not like you can take – like what happens if a professional fighter says, I'm going to take a year off to deal with an injury. I got a

knee, a torn knee ligament or something like that. Do they go and test him then while he's recovering from his knee surgery? Should they? Do they? That's a good question. Will they? That is a good question. Because a lot of doctors, that's when they will prescribe you steroids on a legal basis. I know a guy who got an ACL operation and the doctor

prescribed him Anivar. The doctor said this is a safe substance to take as long as we only do it for X amount of weeks and this is what we're going to do. Here's your program. This is going to accelerate your growth to get you back on track sooner. The doctor said when it comes to ligaments, you

really shouldn't ever try to compete for anything quicker than six months. Six months for replacing a ligament is like, that's not even being conservative. That's like, that's being still a little risky. Six months is even still a little risky. So this guy just said, but this will help you put your muscle back and get you to the point where everything is strong and it'll heal your knee quicker. So that becomes like a real question.

Like if you're going to say performance-enhancing drugs are illegal, what about when a guy is clearly not competing? Like what about a guy that's recovering from a knee surgery? What do they do then? Insulin. What if you're diabetic, right? Right. Insulin.

That's a much more anabolic, more powerful hormone than testosterone is. Is it really? Insulin? Absolutely. Yeah? I mean, that's bodybuilders, you know, they're hypertrophy, um, styled athletes. That's what they're looking for. They're looking to grow and build muscle, get bigger, get stronger, get leaner. Um, and insulin

really that that's the catalyst to store, uh, or, or for protein synthesis to build muscle and to burn body fat. Is insulin dangerous to supplement? Absolutely. Insulin will kill you. Really? It will kill you, but it's legal. So talk about testosterone. Overdose testosterone, yeah, you get some pimples. Maybe there's some long-term effects. It won't immediately kill you.

Take a little bit too much insulin, you're dead. You're in a coma. Really? You're carried out in a box. Yeah, yeah, that's right. I watched that Law and Order episode. Is that Law and Order? You watched it?

Yeah, he poisoned a wife. She was a diabetic, and that's how he killed her. He came in and shot her with a little too much insulin. There you go. So how much do you take? Oh, God. I don't know, and it would be irresponsible to say you should be speaking with your doctor and have a very specific dose.

Insulin, some diabetics, some blood sugar issues can certainly be controlled by diet and lifestyle that actually gets you off of insulin. That's kind of where you should be going to. How much to take? There's guys that do some crazy things. Really? They use the more is better philosophy. As far as

diet goes, if you see a high glycemic index diet, if you ate a lot of glycemic uh index uh diet when you know if you ate a lot of like really sugary things doesn't that cause your insulin to spike and it causes you to like fatigue quicker well it depends when you take it do you take it directly after a workout when your glycogen stores are low then you should right absolutely i drink a protein drink and i eat a banana right after a workout that's the one thing that i do like right And it made a big difference in how I felt for the rest of the night. Like, I'd go to jujitsu, and I would wait until I got home before I would eat.

So I'd get in the shower. I'd shoot the shit with the guys at the gym. Good night, everybody. And then drive home. It takes a half an hour almost to drive home from the gym. By the time I got home, it was too late. Crashing. Yeah, I was already crashing, and I didn't want to do shit.

But if I just had a protein drink, I would bring it with me, and I would bring coconut water. I'd fill it in, fill the protein drink after workout, down it right away, and it made a huge difference in how I felt. I felt much better, like physically better for the rest of the night. You went home 30 to 45 minutes later. You had a well-balanced meal, and you felt awesome afterwards. That's exactly what you should be doing. You spike the insulin right after the workout.

Even more sugar than protein, a little bit of protein. So you have a protein shake. It should be more of a, you know, I like a whole foods fruit shake, you know, mixed up kind of like your kale shake you do in the morning. Maybe a little more sugar in there, a little more citrus, a little more berries, a little more apple, what have you, pineapple. Spike your insulin with a little bit of protein. Is banana not enough or should I have something instead of bananas?

No, banana is good, but you actually eat the banana. So it takes a little longer to break down where you can blend it, get in your system. So should I pour a little sugar in with my workout drink? Some agave. Agave? Yeah. Is agave bad for you? You know, that's still on the fence.

They say green tea is bad for you. Some people say. Everybody says everything is bad. Too much oxygen is bad for you. Too much love can is bad for you. Some people say. Everybody says everything is bad. Too much oxygen is bad for you. Too much love can be bad for you, right? Dude, love is like oxygen. You get too much, you get too high. Not enough and you're going to die.

Love makes you high. Do you remember that song? Fuck yeah. Who sang it? Love is like oxygen. Who sang it? Who sang it? Air Supply?

10 CC. Ooh. Remember that 10 CC? No, I don't remember them. They did, I'm fine in love, so don't forget. Yeah. I think it's them, or it could be, who the fuck is that? Love is like oxygen.

Sweet. Sweet. Jesus. Wow. Brian, pull that shit up. Sweet. It's from 1978. Dang.

The guitar is mean in the beginning. It's a good fucking jam, man. You always wonder, these guys that made this one or two good jams, and then it's just fucking, they couldn't keep it together. It's too much pussy. Sweet love is like oxygen. It's from 1978. These motherfuckers.

That was a weird time in the world, man. As far as nutrition goes, is like the best time ever in human history would you agree well or we could reverse it a few hundred years and maybe that was the best time but i mean as far as like knowledge knowledge it's amazing everywhere i mean knowledge you know it's it comes too fast technology you're right it's allowed us is this it yeah oh yeah this is it do you remember watching Rocky When he drank the raw eggs And went running Absolutely

How bad is that for you Man it's disgusting We were talking about That bacteria before right Yeah Loaded full of bacteria How many times did you drink That same shake

I did it once I did it right Right after I saw Rocky I was a little kid I got inspired Listen to this Give me some volume Brian Go, Brian. Go, Brian.

Not enough and you're gonna die Go, Brian. Don't die. Love makes you high Love is like oxygen You know, that is one of the reasons why music is so much different than comedy. Because in comedy, if a guy can pull off a jam, if a guy can pull off a hit, if a guy gets on stage and he's got a bit that knocks your fucking socks off, that guy can keep coming up with bits like that.

That's how that motherfucker thinks. But non-music, man, they can nail one song and then the rest can be just dog shit. Because they worked all their life on the first album. They worked all their life on the first album. The second album is usually the do or die. Yeah, but it's not even the first album. It's a song. It's like one or two songs.

Man, you don't know all the controlling fucking forces. Oh, yeah. Just the fucking discipline involved. I go to watch Eddie perform or Eddie and practice, and it's fucking hard work, man. That's work. That's not what we do, man. Musicians practice. We fucking smoke weed and go on the internet, and we write things down.

Nice. You know? Well, I just learned this about sledging. And then you sit down with a computer, and you make yourself internet and we write things down. Nice. Well, I just learned this about sledge lean and then you sit down and you're at a computer and you make yourself laugh and giggle and then you write down

anything that comes in your head throughout the day and then our practice is in front of an audience. So our practice is, which by the way, tomorrow night, laugh fact,

where am I? Ice house. Where the fuck are we going? Tomorrow night, we're doing another death squad show here at the ice house. Just like we,

what are we going to call them? We're going to, just death squad shows? Death squad. house just like we uh what are we gonna call them we're gonna just death squad shows that's good we need to have a name death squad death on a wednesday night ice house bitches wednesday 10 o'clock savagery 30 i go up on the stage too i'm doing kidnapping a to z the history of the oh yeah yeah yeah so make a night of it make a night of it and you switch and go next door we have's two rooms we're rocking tomorrow night. Stage two. The 8.30 show is Joey Diaz's one-man show. Kidnapping.

And I'm going to come watch that, too. That's at 8.30. And then right after that, right next door at 10, that is the Ice House show that we're doing. And I'm headlining it, and it starts at 10 o'clock. And we got Joey Diaz is on. Ari Shafir is on. Brian Callen might be showing up, Christina Pazitsky. Who else?

Tony Henscliff, me, and maybe Jon Heffron. And maybe Jon Heffron. So these are jamming shows, and we decided Wednesday night is a good night because almost everybody's home. Most of us that go out of town, like this weekend I'm at the River Creek Casino. I think it's sold out. I'm in Edmonton, Alberta with Ari Shafir. It may be sold out. There was like 50 tickets left

yesterday. So if you jump on that shit, you dirty bitches. But the Ice House, we haven't even announced it yet. We're announcing it right now. Ice House Chronicles. Oh, wait a minute. I already announced it on Twitter an hour ago. Okay. It's announced. Tomorrow night, Wednesday night, Ice House. So get on that shit.

Don't sleep. Icehousecomedy.com. You can buy tickets online, and it will sell out. We sold out last week and the week before that and all that shit. So we're doing them on a regular basis. So there you go, Joe Diaz. Are you excited about that? Yeah.

I'm more excited. I got to talk to Mike Dolce. He's been wonderful. Joey Diaz, let's make a goal for you, brother. There's a reason why I wanted him to confront you, like when you were saying, you know, when you were. No, no, no, no. Don't know me, you motherfucker. Listen, no, no, no. But don't no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I do it my own way. But this is what I'm trying to do. Surrounded by love right now. Before you even go there. Okay. Three years ago, I would eat three eggs with a half a loaf of Wonder Bread with butter, a half a pound of bacon, and potatoes. Yeah.

Today, when I eat eggs, I eat one egg, one piece of toast, and two pieces of center cut bacon and oatmeal. So, what I managed to do is I tried to cut cut, you know, 10 years ago I would eat a sandwich with chips and a side of macaroni salad. Yeah. Now I eat a six inch with no chips and no macaroni salad. Yeah. Do you follow me?

So, what I'm saying is... It's like saying I do a little bit of Coke. Right. Yes. A little bit of Coke. So, you cut... Get on him, Mike Dolce. Go get him.

So, when I eat the pasta, everybody always talks about different pasta. Is that your Sprite right there? Is that my Sprite? Is that your can of Sprite? Yeah. Is that empty? Yeah. All right.

What's the ingredients in that Sprite? Dick. Water. Water? Water. Sugar. It's zero. It's Sprite zero.

Sprite zero. So it's dick. But it's got bad chemicals for you. It doesn't have bad chemicals. I don't even see where that chemical is. We've got water, citric acid, potassium citrate, natural flavor potassium, benzoate, aspartame, acyl sulfamine potassium. So, and what do you get out of that?

That's soda right there. Oh, God, it's a good dick. Yeah. But I mix it up. I got a new fucking rule. At the house, I got that thing from Costco now for the last two months, and I just drink water when I'm at the house. Okay. When I go out, that's my fucking treat, guy.

Why? Have we earned a treat? Absolutely. How? Tell me. Because I fucking live better. I sleep my eight hours. I take my fucking vitamins in the morning.

So you've achieved your goal. You're where you want to be right now. This is the end point? Not really. Where's the end point? The end point's about 270. Okay. And how far do we got to go?

I thought your head gets too big when you're 270. But here's the deal. My end goal is a lot of things. What are you today? The reason why I've been smoking this shit lately. Well, let's back up. What do you weigh right now? 298.

298. 270 is the goal, so 28 pounds. Yeah. How are we going to get there? Cut my intake, food. What's the timeline? Let's give ourselves a timeline right now. It's what?

May 29th. Six months. 270. All right. 28 pounds, 30 pounds. I don't kill myself. Easily obtainable. Absolutely.

So five pounds a month. Five pounds. I could even do like eight pounds a month if I really tried. All right. Two pounds, 30 pounds. I don't kill myself. Easily obtainable. Absolutely. So five pounds a month. Five pounds. I could even do like eight pounds a month if I really tried. All right, two pounds a week. That's pretty fucking. I think we can do that. So two pounds a week, that's the goal right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. Great way to start that is to kick that out. No, we'll kick the soda. That's what I've been trying to do lately. When I go out with friends, like I said, I have this insecurity. I don't do dick. Now you want me to fucking have one of these things. I'd rather shoot myself in the fucking head.

No, no, no, no, no. What's up, man? That's not necessary. Come on now. I'll go to the bar and get a glass of water, but I can't do that. No, I'm saying I carry mine with me. You know what I'm saying? I got to do something to feel like I'm fucking alive sometimes.

Yeah. Do you follow what I'm saying? You're hanging out with great people. Oh, no, no. This is a lot lot the sun is shining you're breathing it's a beautiful fucking day to be alive you know me dog every time i fucking get up that's the first thing i do is thank everybody there we go you gotta be fucking kidding me so two pounds a week now let's find ways to do it so we gotta start making changes positive changes let

me ask you some questions about the lifting at my age i like it i like going in there twice a week and throwing some weights around. It's not maximum weight. I'm doing everything like you said, 12 to 15. I'm doing the bent over rows, which I really like, one-arm pulls. I do the fucking upright rows. I do the bike to warm up every time I go for 45 minutes. So working out is no problem.

You like exercise. No, I fucking like it. That's my thing. So troubleshooting, if it's not, the exercise is easy. It's the diet. It's the diet. It's the fucking diet. So we'll circle back to the diet again.

It's the diet. Breakfast, out of bed. Out of bed. You have the one egg white. You have some oatmeal. I get up now and I drink water. I'm not going to lie to you. I drink six ounces of water.

And then I drink a cup of coffee with no sugar, black. Perfect. All right. And then I wait a little while. And then I go back in there and either, depending on my day, I have a protein shake from GN from GNC okay or I have one egg with a piece of toast with butter on it and bacon yeah I don't like fucking milk I don't like almond milk because I looked at that thing in your book I don't see that's a problem I had with the book but not really I even asked Joe about quinoa yeah we had a quinoa whatever the fuck it is the reason why I'm saying it quinoa is a weird spelling it's

q u i what is it what is it sesame street you know what I'm fucking it, quinoa is a weird spelling. It's Q-U-I. What is it? What is it? Sesame Street? You know what I'm fucking saying. No, no, no. A lot of people don't know. People have asked me on Twitter, and they spell it crazy. Because we write quinoa.

It sounds like K-E-E-N-W. Q-U-I-O-N-A or something like that. Yeah. How do you spell it, man? Q-U-I-N-E-A. Yeah, there we go. Something like that. Yeah, it's a Q-U-S-O-M.

It fucked me up. I looked in the thesaurus and everything, but I wanted to see what it is. Have you tried it? You know how easy it is to make? It looks like quinoa. It looks like quinoa. He told me, Joseph, that it comes in bags, and sometimes he eats it with a steak or something. He's going to fucking hate it.

So I'll try it, though. It's what you mix it with. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't eat it by itself. What are you going to make it with? I don't know. I'll look at the fucking book and see what you got in it. Sausage, a little bit of cheese.

No, no, no. If that's what we got to do to get the dog perfect you get me some goddamn hippie food it tastes like wait a second let's get something straight here let's get something straight right here i live listen i i got to do something that a lot of people didn't do joe rogan will vouch for this he he wasn't there for it i grew up in Jersey where there's great food in New York City. I lived in San Francisco. We go to Texas, which is the best fucking restaurants in the country, Texas. We go to Vegas.

But the fucking restaurant that always got my dick hard was in Boulder, Colorado. It was called The Harvest Restaurant on Canyon, on Pearl Street. And because they had everything vegetarian. You're looking at me going, Joey, I don't see it. They had a vegetarian gazpacho that your asshole would fucking twink the whole way home. I couldn't wait to taste it. Nice. Swiss harvest granola for breakfast.

I ate eggs. I hate eggs. But the breakfast bowl you got is kind of fucked up for me. So hope there's something in there. Everybody loves it. There's something in there. I don't like egg whites either. You got to put some heart in my motherfucking eggs.

No, there's no egg whites. I don't have egg whites. There was something in the breakfast bowl. I suggest. I don't like egg whites either. You got to put some heart in my motherfucking eggs. No, there's no egg whites. I don't have egg whites. There was something in the breakfast bowl. I suggest the whole thing. Oh, buckwheat. And that shit. That's for gluten-free. Okay.

Yeah, I'm not gluten-free. So use the oats. Okay. Joey, the reason why I confronted you and the reason why I talked about it earlier and when I keep getting on to the point of you having a goal is because I know you've done it before. I was really proud of you when you quit smoking and I was really proud of you when you quit smoking, and I was really proud of you when you lost all that weight. I mean, it's pretty impressive for a guy who, in my life,

you've been a real impulsive sort of wild dude. No, no, I got control, dog. I'm a bad motherfucker. When you want to, you have control. But sometimes, like you say, you give yourselves rewards that, like Mike said, you haven't earned. And it's an impulsive thing. It's part of being a great comic

It's that I don't give a fuck attitude I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I wanna do When you're in fucking bed At 7am I'm walking my fucking wife To the train

What reward aren't you Fucking talking about What reward are you people How many people have told you I walk around North Holloway No it's not What do you mean the reward

The reward is I work Every fucking day I had knee surgery And I had to sit at home. So in that time, they told me to go to the fucking gym and bulk up. I got this fucking Cuban body that when I touch a weight, I put fucking weight on. They told you to bulk up after knee surgery? No, they told me to do the fucking squats and all that shit.

Me doing squats, get my metabolism going. I got to whack off. I got to bang the wife. I go fucking bananas. Then I went and got that GNC fucking protein powder and I added on there But for fuck I kept the weight off. I was at 280 whatever. I'm feeling good my blood pressure down on my fish So basically no fucking confronted. He just yelled and backed us into a corner because you know back When you're on you I work out every fucking day, that's what I'm telling you

But what he's saying is when you drink sprite every fucking day. That's what I'm telling you. I'm going to work at Y every fucking day. You want to go after Y? What he's saying is when you drink Sprite, it's Sprite Zero. No fucking points. What? What? What? What? I watch things. I'm on top of this shit. There's nothing to confront. I'm on the ball with you. I purchased your book

to enhance what I was doing. I love Weight Watchers. Let him talk. I love Weight Watchers. Give me a great explanation. I love Weight Watchers. So when you use the calorie concept, the calorie concept is wrong because a donut has 100 calories in it and a chicken breast has 100 calories in it. Or six points. Or six. Or you use the weight.

Weight Watchers. But the points, that doesn't mean you're healthy. What's your nutrient quality? Let's talk about your cells. How do your cells look? Because really, we're just big blobs of cells. We're billions and billions of cells. What's the health of our cells? The way you look, your physical presence right really we're just big blobs of cells we're billions and billions of cells what's the health of our cells the way you look your physical

presence right now that you're just a combination of cells and how healthy are these cells and that's based upon the nutrient quality of what it's taking in also external sign you know factors of environment and then your relationships things like that but your cells so nutrient quality you're talking about points points mean nothing because it's just a calorie structure, which is wrong. You burn calories. Moving around throughout the day, your calorie expenditure changes dramatically. You're sitting in traffic. Use that example.

You're sitting in traffic for two hours, bumping and bumping. You're stuck. Or you cruise home. It's two totally different days. You have two totally different nutritional needs. So speaking with you, we need to focus on nutrient density. You need to focus on nutrient density. And that's not nutrient density.

That's garbage. That's a bunch of chemicals in there. Yeah, but that's no calories. But that's one step. That's one little piece of thousands of other small decisions. You can't live like a fucking priest all the time. No, don't equate soda, not drinking soda, to being a priest. What would you rather me have?

Get him, Mike. Dairy Queen. Get him, Mike. I priest. What would you rather me have? Get him, Mike. Dairy Queen. Get him, Mike. I'm sorry? Would you rather me have this or Dairy Queen? You know what he's doing. Dairy Queen. Do you follow what I'm saying?

No, I'd rather you have some black coffee if you need something special. I'm not a big coffee guy. I'm a big coffee guy in the morning. Have some tea. Make water. Make a tea at home. Make something special. I do all that shit.

Make your own citrus juice. I make my own tea. Bring it with you. Get it locally. I mean, you can walk out this door right now. I don't like food in my fucking car. But, you know, the place Joe went to, the Lovebirds, the cafe and bakery, I'm sure they have something good there.

We were here. I'm not going to fucking walk around. We're here. This is diet service award. So now you're not going to walk three minutes to have something healthy. You're going to stay where you are to have something unhealthy. And that is where the spiral begins. So now you're skewing negative

instead of skewing positive. I was happy to see you. I wasn't going to excuse myself. I'm happy to see you. I would have walked with you. I would have walked with you down there. On my back if I have to. To bring you to that place. You are his enemy.

He'll start screaming at you. He loves you. What you guys don't understand to get away from reality. What you guys don't understand is here was my reality because he don't know dick, this fucking guy, when it comes to this shit.

Who doesn't know dick? Me. My reality was when I woke up in the morning I know you better than you know you. When I woke up in the morning after I do coke, if I ate a piece of sushi,

that was my workout for the day. I thought in the back of my mind that sushi would cleanse the cocaine out of my life. I actually believe that if you drank pomegranate juice and wheatgrass, I could go out and do blow time. Yeah, for sure. So this is the guy you're talking to about this shit.

So now I'm telling you that on Sundays. But you're a new guy now. That's the old guy. Joe Rogan, what's my rule? What's my fucking rule about the road? No kissing on the lips. I don't want to be on a fucking no show on a Sunday night. And there's reasons.

Because on Sundays I go to a farmer's market every fucking week. And I buy fruit. I buy bananas. I throw them in my fucking protein shakes. I try. You know what I drink? I drink. This is what was going on.

Didn't you guys do a Sunday show in Cleveland? No. You said Friday? Fuck that. I was back by 10.51. You don't do any no Sundays ever. No, fuck you. No.

That's part of my. That's part of the discipline. Not just no. No, fuck you. That's part of the of my... That's part of the discipline. That's part of the discipline. You should know. Hi, Joey. We'd like to book you on a Sunday night. I don't give a fuck. Fuck your mother.

Unless you're lifting the... Unless you're paying the freight, I can't do it. Because you're knocking me out of my week. Get the fuck out of here. You got to... You got to... That's part of my week. Ten years ago, if I went to a restaurant, I thought that was healthy.

Mike, before the book, you don't know how nice it is in the morning to make one egg and know you're not eating home fries and a bunch of disgusting butter from a fucking diner. I grew up in Jersey eating at fucking diners, brother. So now, I try to plan my meals. Mr. Diner sometimes, too. Oh, an open steak sandwich with gravy on those French fries like a motherfucker. Cheeseburger deluxe. Yeah.

Cheeseburger deluxe fries, right? But every time I go to Jersey, I say to myself, I'm going to get a cheeseburger deluxe, and I don't. So when I'm in Jersey with Johnny Hendricks on this last Fox card, I'm home. Every single day, I had Jersey fries, disco fries, which is French fries, brown gravy, melted mozzarella, baked in the oven. Every day. And pork roll and cheese.

You know what I mean? So there's my earned meals because I've been grinding for so long. And I'm going home. I'm going to New Jersey. I'm eating like a crazy motherfucker. And that's exactly what I did. I built that up. And I worked towards it.

I knew six weeks beforehand I'm going to do it dirty. Do you believe in cheat days? Absolutely. Cheat days, cheat meals. And I use the term earned meals because cheating has a negative connotation. I'm going to earn this. cheating has a negative connotation. I'm going to earn this. Right, right, right.

I'm going to earn this, and I plan. Man, seven weeks from now, I'll be back in Jersey. We're going to the pizza place. I'm going to plan for it. You know what I mean? Right. Work out hard. I'm going to run farther. I'm going to eat better.

I'm going to do more things so I can have the investment in myself where I can go out there and do a little bit more and feel good and have that emotional purge also. You know how we can put you on the map, Mike Dolce? Let's get Joey Diaz healthy. Can we get Joey Diaz really healthy? Absolutely. We've already started the process. I think we started today because you're showing him he's not taking any of his bullshit.

He's screaming and yelling at you. I love it. I'm going to send you a tape every week. Mad flavor world. That's how I'm doing it from now on. Mad flavor world. I'm here with my man, Mike Dolce. We're in the middle of a podcast, and Joey just pulled out a camera and is making videos.

In the middle of a fucking podcast. It's not filming. And it's not filming? Ah, Brian's a wizard. You can't trick Brian. This motherfucker. You can't trick Brian with some technology. No, I'm not saying it wasn't you on purpose.

You know. You see. You know when the fucking thing is working. Joey has no idea. I had a fucking video right there. I'm a stock sucker. Mad Flavor here with my boys. Joe Rogan.

Joe Rogan's making a video right now. Mike fucking Dolce and Red Band. They put me on the Dolce Challenge. How many pounds? 30. 30 pounds. The goal is to make your head look too big. That's right.

But it's really about being healthy. So every week, I'm going to make a little YouTube video for Mike and show him that I'm working out. Yes. It's beautiful. All right? Two pounds a week. Two pounds a week. We started it. We started it right here. We started the revolution. I'm going to make a little YouTube video for Mike and show him that I'm working on it. Yes. It's beautiful. All right? Two pounds a week.

Two pounds a week. We started it. We started it right here. We started the revolution. I'm going to be fucking, yo, shit. That's, by the way, lose two pounds, Joey. Lose two pounds. Yeah, lose two pounds a week.

What the fuck, dog? Why are you busting my balls? Listen, folks, you could give Joey some love and encouragement tomorrow night at the Ice House, 10 p.m. show. I don't need no fucking love and encouragement. He needs love. He needs encouragement. And then there's an 8.30 show Joey's doing in the Ice House. 10pm show. I don't need no fucking love and encouragement. He needs love. He needs encouragement. And then there's an 8.30 show Joey's doing in the second room. It's a small room. The second room only has 85 seats.

It's a real small room. 626-577-1894. Call now and then the fucking suspense. Or go to IceHouseComedy.com and follow them on Twitter. IceHouseCC.com. And also follow the Dolce Diet. V-D-O-L-C-E Diet. If you don't know how to spell diet, go fuck yourself.

How about that? That's the new shirt. Thank you, everybody, for tuning into this podcast. Thank you, Mike Dolce. This was a fucking brilliant time. Thank you, Joey. I'm sorry we had to confront you, but you know I do it out of love. You know I do it out of love.

I had an opportunity to grab you and hold you down and Mike Dolce helped me out. We're going to get you in the right motion right now, man. Thank you for having me on. Thank you for being here, man. Anytime, man. You know your family. And thank you, everybody, for tuning in. Thank you to The Fleshlight. Go to JoeRogan.net. Click on the link to The Fleshlight.

I'm on the Joe Rogan show, bitches! Mike Dolce is the official nutritional provider for Death in. Thank you to the Fleshlight. Go to joerogan.net. Click on the link to the Fleshlight. I'm on the Joe Rogan show, bitches. Desquad. Mike Dolce is the official nutritional provider for Desquad. Yes. Official. He's an official nutritionist.

Because he answers people on Sundays. Yes, he does. Yes, he does. That's very nice, man. And your book is? It's The Dolce Diet, Living Lean.

Go to thedolcediet.com. It's on Kindle and all that good stuff. Beautiful. So you can get it on Amazon. It's a physical book. You get two books and the shirt for a deal. Oh, yeah. Beautiful. I don't fuck around. Oh, nice. Beautiful. So you can get it on Amazon. It's a physical book. You get two books and the shirt for a deal.

Oh, yeah. Beautiful. I don't fuck around. Oh, nice. Beautiful. All right. So please support Mike Dolchan. Go get that book, you dirty bitches.

And thank you, everybody. Thanks to the Fleshlight. Thank you to Onnit.com. O-N-N-I-T. Makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood. And hemp protein powder is coming soon, and you're going to love it. It's the best tasting shit of all time. We'll see you tomorrow with the great Bobcat Goldthwait.

Oh my goodness. Brian might have a little geek boner. Yay. Shakes the clown. And it's one more guy that hates Jay Moore. All right. See you tomorrow. Bye. Thank you.