The Joe Rogan Experience - #2227 - Adrienne Iapalucci

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

Adrienne Iapalucci is a standup comic. Her Netflix special "The Dark Queen" premieres on November 12.  www.adrienneiapalucci.com https://www.netflix.com/title/81900915 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience. Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Of course. It's pretty tight. Is it tight you mean? No, no, no, it's like tight. Nice. Nice.

I feel like they're going to sue me. For the shirt? I don't know. Do you sell it? I'm trying to. I don't think they want to sue anybody. I think they want to keep it on the DL. Especially you.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I for the shirt. I don't know do you sell it? I'm trying to I don't think they want to Sue anybody I think I want to keep it on the DL especially you because you could just go on podcast and talk about it Not if I'm dead Let's see if they haven't killed there's so many if they haven't killed malice There's so many people that they haven't killed. I'd be a fun kill though. They just come to the Bronx. It's like so easy to just kill me. Right, anybody gets killed in the Bronx.

Happens all the time. Nobody cares. Yeah, probably. They don't care. A few people would be upset and then it would go away. My mom. Like Epstein. Yes.

That kinda went away. It did go away. The guy who tried to kill Trump kinda went away. It did, Well didn't that guy get shot though? Yeah he's dead. Yeah. But now he's gone. Poof. Gone. No one talks about it. Do you think P. Diddy is in prison waiting for the Clintons to just kill him? Do you think? Every day I'd be looking for them. I don't think the Clintons were involved with P. Diddy. Do you? No, but Epstein. Was Epsteinons, was Epstein involved with P Diddy? No, I just feel like these pedophile rings have to cross

points, you know, at some point. The P Diddy thing sounds like just complete unchecked depravity. Like, I don't even think he was gay. He was just fucking guys. But maybe he's gay, but it seems like he's just depraved. I think you have to be a little gay. Because then he would just be for sure. At least for like 10 minutes. Let me may it might just be whatever drugs are taken. Like I

don't understand it when that whole like, I, I think I had peripherally heard that P Diddy had big parties. but I never heard of freak-offs or any, I never heard of that stuff until pretty recently, like post-pandemic. I think, Jamie, when'd you first hear about like P. Diddy parties? I mean, I would think that he, I've heard about him having big parties.

Your mic has to be off because of Carl's breathing. Pretty heavy story, I'm trying to keep it down. Oh my mic has to be off because of Carl's breathing. He's breathing pretty heavy still right now. Oh my god, he's so cute. He's adorable. Carl and Marshall, they go at it. Every time he comes here. First time I heard, I don't know. I don't even know what rumors I would have heard. I just heard, like, you know, he's had crazy parties.

I didn't hear nothing. Yeah, it was never like in the zeitgeist. It was never... It's just weird too because he always had the white parties where you have to wear all white, and I just feel like that's the worst color for body fluid. Ew.

Yeah, right? Just shit and blood. Maybe that's how he kept track of who he fucked. He's like, that person's already gotten it. That person's already covered in disgusting stuff. That's how he kept track of it. Oh, God. There's so many horrific accusations though involving young singers, young children.

Yeah, it's disgusting. It's insane. He makes R. Kelly look like a decent guy. Yeah. It's so crazy. It is crazy. And meanwhile, the guy was like hanging out with Oprah, hanging out with Obama. Jazy. Jay-Z.

Everyone. Everybody. I'm sure the Clintons were there at some point. Maybe Bill. Bill is so nice. I went one time. Was he? He's so nice.

Like when I met them. So charming. He is, and he's actually still kind of good looking. Like even for an older dude. Yeah, why not? He's still so good looking, and she's just so miserable. Wow. She's publicly humiliated and she thought that her big retribution would become president. Become president.

Sure. And then that would be it. All water under the bridge. I'm a strong woman. I'm running this country. And then America was like, nah. I mean, it doesn't matter what color you are. America does not want a woman in charge.

Well, that's not exactly true because she won the popular vote she I mean not Kamala though no but Kamala was a terrible candidate the difference yeah her and Hillary night and day well Hillary had a lot of experience too she's been doing this for a long sure she was his secretary of state and on top of that she could answer questions. Sure. Like you could have a question With her about like what would we do differently if you were president about the Israel Gaza conflict? Sure She would have something off the top of her head. What would you do differently than Joe Biden? She wouldn't say I can't think of a thing. She would never say that no Kamala Harris is just not good

She's definitely not good at interviewing either. No, I mean, I don't know if she's good at running things because you'd have to be behind the scenes to see how that works. Sure. But when it comes to talking off the top of her head, what she's good at is a pre-rehearsed speech that she reads off a teleprompter.

Sure, but if someone asks you a rogue question, then you have to be ready to answer it. Yeah, when rogue questions, like, you have to be able to say what differentiates you from Biden. You have to. That's like a pretty simple. You're just like, well, I'm still alive. Yeah, that too.

That would be funny if you said that. Right. That's what she should do. If she could be funny, people would look funny person. I could answer questions. I could look you in the eye. Yeah. I remember what I'm talking about. If she could have if she could be funny. Well, I'm a person I could answer questions. I can look you in the eye Yeah, I remember what I'm talking about. Yes. I was surprised. She didn't come on the podcast a little bit It seems like and this is all reports. These are all anecdotal reports, right?

But it seems like her campaign was kind of chaotic like no one could make a decision They had I don't know how many conversations with my folks, but multiple conversations. Giving different dates, different times, different this, different that. And we knew that she was going to be in Texas. So I said, open invitation. Right. You said you can come whenever you want. Anytime.

You pick a time, I will be here. And you would have been the best person for her to talk to because you're not going to attack her. You would just ask her questions, but that's the problem. I don't know if she'd be able to answer those questions I'll ask her questions, but I think they had requirements on things that she didn't want to talk about She didn't want to talk about marijuana legalization, but that was hilarious. Why like that's so Because of her prosecuting record. Oh, well, I mean that is like that was her old job though Yeah, and you know she put a lot of people in jail for weed.

1500 apparently. That's not really that many though, 1500. Tell those guys, those 1500 together in a room. Are they still in prison? No. Oh okay, then they're fine now. Prison really builds character. You go in there, you really figure out

what kind of person you are. I bet it does. Yeah, but when you are held past your release date to fight wildfires for the state, because Kamala Harris wants you to do that. Sure. With the swipe of my pen. Right. You guys are, I mean, it's not like the worst idea.

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So just clean up the wildfires. Well, you should probably pay people for all work. Sure. Even prisoners. That's just free. I got a problem with all that. I mean, I have a problem with slave labor in prison, because it's essentially mandated.

Right. You have to have a job in some prisons. But I mean, what else are you going to do in prison? Read books, do push-ups. OK, but at some point, I'm going to want to do hair. I'm going to want to cook at some point, I'm gonna want to do hair. I'm gonna want to cook at some point. You just do need a routine.

Otherwise, the time never... How many books can you read every single day? That's true. That's true. Yeah. How many yoga classes can you take? You just need a schedule, kind of, just to like... I don't know. That just helps your day go by. Even if you hated it, you still need... When I was on unemployment for a period, I'm actually

very bored. You know what I mean? you like it for a couple of days but you need that routine to kind of like I don't know if I was in prison I'd want a job this is my fear when it comes to automation AI and then ultimately I think everyone's gonna have to have universal basic income I think all countries are gonna have to have it I think United States gonna have to have it too and people need a purpose. They need a thing. For sure. They need an identity. And a lot of people

identify with whatever their job is. They find they take pride in it. It means something to them to show up at work and have people say they do a great job and you're very valuable to the company and the customers like you and all that stuff is really good for people. It's good for self-esteem. It's good for giving you a purpose. If universal basic income is a thing, which I think it's going to have to be a thing, it's going to be real weird psychologically for people to adjust to that. I think there'd probably be a lot of riots.

Like I don't know what else would you do? Just riot with government money? Yeah, I was thinking Trump might not win and there was gonna be a bunch of riots And I would be able to just get like a free computer Like I was kind of hoping for that. Well, you go back a computer a train. No, I want it So I can eat listen a free computer is better than computer. You have to pay for is it Yeah, when you feel guilty at all. No if they're riding Everything's for free. That's the rule

That was the rule during George Floyd. But that's what I'm saying. During Black Lives Matter, I lived by a CVS that was getting broken into all the time. I have shampoo and conditioner for years. Did you go in there? Yeah, why not? I was in there when it was happening.

You're gonna get arrested. Shh, don't say that. No. These are all jokes, right? Wink, they're all jokes. Wink is all lies. Listen, I was just supporting Black Lives Matter and that's how you do it.

That's how you do it, you get shampoo for free. Shampoo all drinks. Listen, I was just supporting Black Lives Matter and that's how you do it. That's how you do it. You get shampoo for free. Shampoo and conditioner. Yeah. The most racist thing I ever saw was a CVS that had everything locked up except sunscreen. I mean, that's pretty much how it is in every CVS. And why people don't buy sunscreen? Because we want to be dark. So no one's stealing it or buying it. Yeah. good call.

Well, they do if they're worried about cancer. If you're one of those people, it puts it everywhere all over your face. Meanwhile, you're putting toxic chemicals all over your face to protect yourself from cancer. People do that, and they're like smoking cigarettes. It's like, what are you doing? Just get cancer.

Well, I was reading this thing where they were talking about that, see if you can find this. So what this person was saying was that people who spend less time in the sun are more likely to get deadly skin cancer. Is it because your body's not used to it? Yeah, you get cooked. You know, your body doesn't have any melanin, so you go out there and you get like fucking burnt to death and your body doesn't have any melanin, so you go out there and you get like fucking burnt to death

and your body develops cancers. But also, you don't have vitamin D. So vitamin D is like a critical hormone and it protects you from a lot of things. It's crucial for your immune system, it's crucial for a lot of different functions. It's also interesting because one time we were at the cellar and Louie kept telling me

that I needed vitamin D because I'm so white and I was just like, vitamin D, is that a real thing? It just sounds like dick. Vitamin D. I was like, wait what? Yeah, you need vitamin D. I was like, is that like a real thing? Yeah, you're so white, you need some vitamin D.

It's like you need to get fucked by somebody. That's going to help you out. That's the only thing that's going to help you. That's the only thing that's going to keep me alive. Imagine if that was true. Imagine if the only way you could maintain health is to get fucked. I mean, it makes sense.

People that are homeless are just fingering themselves all the time. There must be something to it. I think they're mentally ill. Sure, but they also are like, I wanna stay alive. I wanna prolong this homelessness. Keep me alive as long as we can. There's a book I read, Fingering Yourself for Health.

I mean, all of the homeless people on 6th Street, they're just fingering themselves constantly. Yeah, there's a lot of that kind of activity. Yeah. With homeless people. I think they just give up on shame, on everything. I think you're out of your mind. You have to be out of your mind.

You're like, who cares? There's this poor lady on 6th Street. There's a gas station that I only go to if everything's gone totally wrong and I need gas for sure You just run out of but you like you there you get out of your car. You're ready to fight people It's a sketchy gas station I guess there's this poor lady who her head instead of being like here her head is like It's like it's broken. Her neck is broken. Okay, and so her head is like, it's like it's broken, her neck is broken. And so her head is like down here.

And she has to look at you like this. She can't lift her chin off of her sternum. Literally down like this and she's just a bag of bones, just barely alive. Like, okay, obviously we're not gonna help homeless people, like there's no money in helping poor people. Like let's give them all fit And I'll clean up the streets do the kindest thing we can for them. Oh DM

Yeah, if I'm on the street for longer than a week, please kill me. It's not going well So people have recovered just people have gotten their shit. How many I don't know how many CEOs were like I was And then I got some vitamin D. Well, how many CEOs enjoy life? That's the real question. Just because something's difficult to do doesn't mean it's good to do, right? Sure.

Some people think that becoming extremely wealthy and running a major corporation, because it's difficult to do, that's something you should aspire to. But those guys all die young. They all have heart attacks and strokes. Yeah, it's a to do that's something you should aspire to but those guys all die young They all have heart attacks and strokes. Yeah, it's a very high stress position Insanely high stress and the hours are insane and you're probably fucking miserable other than time You're doing coke and banging strippers, right? I think I would like the rich part and then I would just do something with like animals. Oh

Yeah, I love animals. I know you do. People forget, but like. Well, I brought Marshall just for you. I mean, Marshall is so beautiful. Like if I ever go bald, I told you I want like a wig. I don't know how white women are now just wearing golden retrievers wigs because it's beautiful, his hair. But it would stink when it gets wet.

I mean, everyone thinks white people smell anyway. Who gives a shit? You remember the first time you heard that black people thought white people smell like dogs? I did not? You remember the first time you heard that black people thought white people smell like dogs? I did not. You're like, we love dogs. I have never heard that.

Oh yeah. Really? They always think we smell like dogs. It's like that's, try hurting my feelings. Well, I guess if you're around dogs, I think human beings smell if they don't wash. That's all it is. Like, I don't think there's a difference

in the smell of black people and white people. And this coming from someone who does jiu-jitsu sure maybe not I smell people like that close when their chest pressed up against my face I've never noticed a difference in human odor Oh, I know as black people think white people smell like dogs wet dogs when we get wet Maybe that's just like a fun thing to say I think it's more than one black person saying it for real Yeah, never Jamie you ever heard that Maybe that's just like a fun thing to say. I think it's more than one black person saying it. For real? Yeah. I've never heard. Jamie, you ever heard that?

Nope. Jamie never heard it. Well, I hang out with a lot of black people. Maybe they always say it to you. Yeah. Weird. I'm like, that doesn't hurt my feelings. I love dogs.

Yeah, dogs are great. They're amazing. If you're going to smell like an animal, I mean, that's not the worst one to smell like. Cats are kind of crazy because they never smell. And they don't even take showers. They just clean themselves. No, but if you get like one of those hairless ones,

you have to like clean their nails and their skin and stuff. The hairless ones are fucking weird. They are, but I like them. Do white people really smell like wet dogs to black people? The smell comes from hair follicles when they get wet. Hair follicles secrete an oil that spreads some, spreads somewhat when wet and a small amount of water gets in. Okay. Interesting. Yeah. Spreads somewhat when wet and a small amount of water gets in. Okay

Interesting yeah, and that's from Cora It's hilarious like a white, but that's hilarious go back up to that Cora is one of those Answer websites right? Oh, I thought Cora like a black lady I understand the rabbit post Cora like a black lady see you Understand the rabbit post but here's my point Cora is like one of those like you can ask it like how do you make a nuclear bomb? sure that kind of stuff and Imagine if it said do black people really smell like dogs What do black people smell like when they're wet? I? Don't think they smell any different than anybody but the point is you could never have that question on a question web

Putt web page you could take no fucking chance, but you could have it about white people Could you ask it at what Indian people smell like? I don't think you should Indian people at all Indian people do yeah, but you ever see what they're doing in India They're a grandma's like president you're gonna have a're doing in India. They're a promise like president You're gonna have a real issue with this. I don't even know who that is really yeah You don't know who Vivek is I try not to pay attention to what's going on good for you I really don't know anything good for you. That's healthy I know like very little if you can exist like that. It's a good way to be

You know there's plenty of people in this world that are paying attention. I know I'm not one of them though I don't have a problem with that. That's already severe, too. He's no mean yeah, that's why we're good buddies Yeah, he has no idea what's happening He's I mean you talked to him about laws being passed like what that's not real Yeah, I was the best. He's like Aris, but he's also so autistic which is why like him even producing my special was so good, because he's so focused and he knows exactly what to do. Very focused. Love stand-up as an art form.

Love stand-up. He's the best at not killing seats for the show. He is the best person for that. Oh, yeah. He knows how important that is. His special that he did, the Jew special, was so ridiculous because they had to keep those candles lit and so Constantly light them. I was there for it. I opened for it. It was so hot and he taped it in June It was so hot. I was on stage. I did like 15 minutes. I'm like, oh, it's really hot in here

Well, it's a fire behind you. I know you think about all those candles. How much fire is that? That's a lot of fire It's crazy. It was they have like fire extinguishers standing by in case some shit went sideways Probably I'm sure there was some like there might have been a fire marshal They had a hire just to make sure probably but even if the whole place goes on fire, what's he gonna do? He's like, well, there's a fire Like what's he gonna do? He's gonna run away, right? So what is he gonna do? I mean you would need so many Fire extinguishers. No, they're little tiny fires. They're a bunch of little itty-bitty fires. There's not like one major Consuming fire. What if I get to hold of like the curtain?

If you have fire extinguishers, how far back was the curtain from that? Was there a curtain at all? I'm pretty sure there was a curtain all I'm pretty sure it was a curtain Yeah, it looks beautiful though Yeah, it's not as easy to light things on fire as you think and if fire marshals are standing by with a fire extinguisher They put that shit out real quick and that would actually be kind of funny. Yeah, they probably keep that on the show That'd be fun Candles on stage Well, he was running that special forever, for a long time.

And then the whole Kobe thing happened, and he stopped, and then he came back. Well, it's great that I was with him in, I guess it was Charlotte, when the whole Kobe thing happened. And he was sick. I was like, oh, we were on the road. I was like, just go to sleep. And then I wake up, and I'm like, what did you do?

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. I was like, you're. I was like, just go to sleep. And then I wake up and I'm like, what did you do? Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. I was like, you're sick. You're supposed to go to sleep. And then I was like, oh, Ari. And then the funniest part is people

are like, we're going to kick your ass if you're ever in North Carolina. And he's like, I'm there. And they're like, all right, well, if you come to where I'm at, we're going to kick your ass. Well, he was really into making fun of people when they died, because everybody was really kind of people when they died because everybody was like really kind to people when they die. Yes.

And he was always like, fuck them. Some of them were really funny, but Kobe one was not, but some of them were really funny. Sure, I also don't think he knew like, he didn't know like the daughter was there. Like he was just, he was just doing it about Kobe. Jimmy, your microphone is rubbing. I got it.

Oh. Um, yeah. But just, he doesn't do that anymore, thank God. What's funny is the Uber came to pick us up the next day, and it's like just like a black dude picking us up. And he's like, I gotta go to the bathroom. He takes us to like a transient bus station. Uber guy?

Yes. Oh, God. And I'm like, does this guy know about, I'm like, are we gonna get murdered? The guy leaves for like 20, 30 minutes to take a shit. No way. Yeah, before we're going to like the airport. No way.

He did, and I was like, this is crazy. I would order a second Uber to pick me up where the first Uber was. No, but we were ready to get murdered. You were ready? We were just sitting there. If the time is now, this is my fate. This is my fate. We're dying right now.

I don't know if you die because Ari Shaffir decides. First of all, for the longest time, Ari realized that he could not have a phone because he would be addicted to social media and it was terrible for his mental health. And that's what happened. And so he had a flip phone forever. Oh, I know. And I was like, good for you. Like David Tell still has a flip phone.

He does. And it's brilliant. Like, the people that do it, Sebastian Younger, he came in here, he still has a flip phone. There's people that rock a flip phone. If he would have not had that flip phone, he wouldn't have done the Kobe Strip. Oh, 100%.

But I think things like that ultimately are good. Yeah, he's not. He doesn't regret it. If you talk to him. He shouldn't have done it, right? he now he knows he shouldn't have done it and that's just another layer of experience in life and just Overcoming this horrific cancellation should he not have done it though In hindsight, yeah, I think he's probably it's probably not a good thing to do

To mock that daughter died. He didn't mock the daughter. He just mocked him. It's probably not a good thing to do. To mock Diane, his daughter, Diane. But he didn't mock the daughter. He just mocked him. It's true. Yeah. So I asked him, do you regret doing it? He's like, no. Of course he said no. And nobody really, like people were upset.

That's the whole thing with cancellation. People are upset for like two, three days and then they forget. Well, especially in this new cycle. This new cycle is so crazy. It's just no matter what happens, there's always something right around the corner that just covers it up.

Just a new thing to get upset about. Another wave comes in and you no longer, it fades. Whatever it is. Bridges something I think about the FEMA person who got fired because if you had a Trump thing on your... Can you imagine that? I know but it's like if you have any signs that means your house didn't get hit hard by a hurricane. No. Come on. No because you could have a Biden sign. Look it doesn't matter. Right, any sign. But that's what I'm saying if you have any sign.

Depends on how the sign was secured. Depends entirely on how the sign was secured. If your roof came off you think that sign's gonna be there. Bottom line is that's not what she was saying. What she was saying is avoid all houses that have a Trump sign. You cannot do that. Oh, I know, but I'm just saying, what's funny to me is like, if you have a sign and it didn't lift off the ground, like how hard was your house hit?

It could be flooding. Your house could have been completely flooded. You have no power, no electricity, no running water. Yeah. I guess. Your house needs to be drained. It's federal emergency management. It be drained Like it's federal emergency management It's not supposed to be federal emergency management for whoever this one person who's in charge with Ideologically absolutely I don't I'm I was making a joke like if you have any sign there and it survived a hurricane like your house

Is probably fine, right? Also, I want FEMA funds to go to the fire festival like that's all Money should be going through his white guys trying to run a festival who fail. Do you know that guy's doing another one? I know. Is it a, it's not a Fyre Festival. I think he's calling it Fyre Festival 2. Is he? Yeah, and he's charging like a million dollars a ticket.

His move is to just charge an insane amount of money and see how fucking stupid some people are. I mean, I love that. The whole thing was nuts. It's like, one dude, it's always like some guy who you think could be selling Bitcoin or a pyramid scheme and now he's decided to put on a music festival. Because he wants to be cool. You know what I mean? He wants to party with people. He wants to party with people.

But didn't he get like famous people to go? I think a lot of people pulled out. At the last minute? Yeah. Probably when they heard. No, but who was the guy that was like, was like, not Jadakiss. Who was Jaurul? Jaurul was doing it with him. I mean, if you have Jaurul on anything, it's not going to be wild. Was Jaurul one of the organizers? He, I think he was just like one of the faces of it. I don't know if he put money in it or not. Right, like he gave him a piece of it or something like that. I don't know, he was there.

They brought all these influencers out. And I mean, listen, if he pulled it off, it would have been pretty good. I mean, he did have everyone post at the same time, at like, what was it, that orange box or something. Oh yeah. So like everyone saw it and they were like, oh, what's this? And then all these like rich kids it, and they were like, oh, what's this?

And then all these rich kids are there, and they're crying because they're eating. I mean, honestly, the Fyre Festival was for all of us. That's what it was. For all of us to see all these kids crying in these Fema tents. And it was amazing. It was amazing.

See if you can find his videos. He's trying to promote Fire Festival 2. So he's walking down the street of New York City saying that all so many tickets are already sold. I think they sold a lot of tickets. I'm looking to buy one. I can't find the website to buy them. Not that I want to go, I just want to see. Well, it might not even be real. He might be completely insane at this point. There's a lot of press about it. About Fire Festival 2?

Yeah, posted on multiple websites. Mm-hmm. This is all happening It could have just been a press release right where where is fire festival to gonna be in Mexico on? 25th or 20. Oh my god. I hope the carts help this year. No coming up. Yeah this year coming up. Yeah Wow Who the fuck is gonna who's going to Mexico for a fucking fire festival? Cancun it's so much closer Who the fuck is gonna go? Who's going to Mexico for a fucking fire festival? That's crazy. Just go to Cancun. It's so much closer. Yeah, yeah. Fire festival.

Go to Puerto Vallarta. You don't have to go to fire festival. What's the place that all the kids go to? Tulum. They all have to party in Tulum. Yeah, have it there. I don't know why Tulum. That's like one of the major places where they have those Aztec ruins, I think, or Mayan ruins.

I don't know why Tulum is like the big... It's like where like hippies and psychedelic people go. They go to Tulum. They do a lot of Instagram posts. I mean, that's all... everything's about an Instagram post. I was watching this lady and her boyfriend the other day. We were walking on the street and they had basically taken up the entire street since the girl was sitting on this like marble bench and she was posing and you

couldn't walk in between the two of them and he was like 12 feet away from her so there was like like what is this? You're just stopping. And it was a long photo shoot like it went on for a couple minutes it was fucking stupid as shit she kept changing her her pose and her face and the angle that he photographed her out I wanted to take his phone away like a fuckhead get out of the way Yeah, they do that. I was in CVS and they were doing a sketch and everyone's like you got to get out of here a Sketch yeah There's a bunch of people with cameras and they were trying to do a sketch and they were screaming and this girl was like

This girl behind the counter is a were screaming and this girl was like, this girl behind the counter is a nice girl and she's also like a little bit slow, so she's trying to get these people out of there. It's just like chaos. I get why people steal in CVS, because nobody helps you and you're like, I will just steal.

It's just, you're better off stealing than waiting there for somebody to come help you. It's just a nightmare. The amount of people that I've seen working at those kind of stores that have like some sort of odd wound. An eye wound? Odd. Some odd like something like their head looks oddly shaping, like they get hit with a brick, like something.

Well, that's where veterans go to work. They send you back to CVS. Yeah. Really? No, no, no. You just make that up. I make a lot of stuff up. There's so many of these fucking sketches and pranks that people are doing now on YouTube. Really? I don't know. You're swinging that up? I make a lot of stuff up. There's so many of these fucking sketches and pranks that people are doing now on YouTube. It's like everybody, if you look at kids today, like they did some sort of a survey where they asked kids like what do you want to be when you grow up? And most of them said famous.

Yeah, I mean you could get famous opening like unboxing videos. Like, I mean, if you could do that, why wouldn't you get famous opening like unboxing videos Like I mean if you could do that, why wouldn't you want to do that? I mean, I'd have a kid just as if they could do that. Well, you know that kid on tik-tok Keith Lee Do you know he is he just reviews food now with a sort of a monotone voice He's actually brothers with a he was a MMA fighter himself and he's brothers with Kevin Lee who was a Top UFC contender at one point in time. He just does these like sort of monotone videos where he reviews food. Is he like super popular?

Wow. Yeah. Like how many? It's like why even go to school if you can just unbox a video. One of our kind of studies shows that 27 million paid creators operating in the US, 116 billion of them working full-time as creators Wow Yeah, I mean it's like another number one job if you're from another country and you're like, why don't we just bomb America? Well, that might be Isn't the number one job driving vehicles in the United States

Which is one of the things they're really worried about when it comes to automation because that's one of the first jobs It's gonna go I've seen those cars but they're operating. There's no one of the things they're really worried about when it comes to automation, because that's one of the first jobs it's gonna go. I've seen those cars, but they're operating, there's no one operating them and they're just driving. They're weird. Okay, number one occupation, retail salesperson is 3 million, home and health personal care is 3 million as well, both of them are 3,700,000.

General and operations managers, 3,005,000, fast food counter workers, $3.4 million. Show them all. What's interesting is the retail and the home health aides, they're the same people doing both jobs because they can't afford to live just one job. So drivers isn't even in the top 10. That's interesting.

I thought it was like number one of the top ones. So cooks is $2.7 million, and that's number 10. Stockers, order fillers, two eight. ones so cooks is two million seven and that's number ten stockers order fillers to eight and so influencers was what one million that's what it was one one point eleven eleven wait a minute so that's more than that so what the fuck so go back to that chart again combined almost. That's crazy. So that's the most common job. So why is it saying retail salesperson?

It's like literally three times more common than that. Well, I have to then dig into where they're getting their data from, I guess, but. Wow. See, it says retail has been the most common job in the US since 1997. Not anymore, bitches. That's crazy. So that means that influencer or content creator, the most common job in the US since 1997. Not anymore, bitches. That's crazy.

So that means that influencer or content creator, whatever the fuck you wanna call people, that's me too, I guess, that's the number one job. Number one podcasting. I used to have a joke back when it was just reality shows that there's gonna be a reality show about a cameraman on a reality show. Somebody's filming him? Someone's filming the cameraman on reality, what a cameraman on a reality show. Somebody's filming him?

Someone's filming the cameraman on reality show. What a crazy job. You are a cameraman on a reality show. And then someone's going to say, but who's the cameraman? Behind the cameraman. Right. And then it's going to be like two mirrors facing each other. With the United States is going to be filled with just camera people filming other camera

people. I'm into it. It was a joke, but it's kind of true now. Like once, because back when I said this, this is like, you know, 2000 something when I was on Fear Factor. There was no social media stars. It didn't exist. Right.

And social media itself didn't exist. But now that it does, now that you see the impact that it has and how many people are making a living as, air quotes, content creators, it's kind of fucking crazy. It's incredible Yeah, it's a totally new market that emerged out of nowhere and according to that thing at least it's the number one job of the country Yeah, I mean it makes sense people are making a ton of money off of it That's why people are like filming every single thing that they do. Yeah, I'm just putting it on Instagram or tik tok.

Well, they learn from the Kardashians that it doesn't even have to be interesting. No, it doesn't. You just have to have a new scene every five seconds. It's just like something crazy if somebody's fighting like a fight. Yeah, but it doesn't even that doesn't even matter. All you have to do is just constantly switch angles Do you ever watch a reality show? Mm-hmm the scenes constantly change? I'm watching my wife watches that stupid fucking Kardashian show. I'll watch it too, but it's so monotone

Like it's just one monotone person to another monotone person. She just likes the clothes and I've watched the Kardashians. I get it. But the point is, every five seconds, the camera changes angles. You never have a podcast. Yeah. The only thing that changes is your camera's on when you're talking, my camera's on when we're talking.

Sometimes it's both of us talking on camera. I mean, I wish Kris Jenner was my mother. I mean, the way she's made these kids so famous, like, could you imagine telling your kid to fucking have a sex scene and then release it? Do you think that she did that? Yes, she absolutely did that. For sure?

I think so. Really? I'm pretty sure. Hmm. I reserve judgment. I think she did, and I think it was the smartest thing she could have done for all their careers. Definitely worked.

Absolutely. And then everybody has sex. Right. If you want to watch, go watch. Go watch it. Yeah. Like you would never think a mom would put that out there, but it was like pretty brilliant. My mom would never do something like that for me.

Well, you know, she's a little unconventional. Sure. Yeah, it takes an unconventional woman to, like, release her kid's sex tape. She kind of turned her husband into a woman and basically made the entire clan super rich. Well, even Rob is rich. Super rich.

They're all rich. Crazy rich. Yeah, for no reason. Like, not- Because of that sex tape. Right, but, like, that is kind of the seed. It is. Yeah. Ray J was more famous than Kim when they did that text date. Right, but that is kind of the seed. It is. Yeah.

Ray J was more famous than Kim when they did that. Right. And now Ray J's like nowhere. I know. And that's a good start. If his mother also was on top of it with Chris, he could have been a bigger star too. Nobody gives a shit about Ray J anymore.

That's crazy that he didn't capitalize on that. Because his mom wasn't like Kris Jenner. Right, but why didn't he figure out a way? Because like, what's unique about her way of thinking? I think it's just Kim is very pretty. That helps. He's a good looking guy, though. He's got a big dick.

He is a good looking guy. Got a big dick, right? I assume. You know, I never saw the video. How dare you lie to me like that, right to my face. That he has a big dick? No, that you never saw the video. I didn't. I saw the video, but I didn't see his dick in it I think I saw it too late. I see years later. I see it years later

I checked it out too late when the dick wasn't in it what the dick was removed eventually I think the dick was come on. I don't know I've been searching for it pretty hard I bet Jamie can find it right now. Let's see. Can you find it? Blocked in Texas Joe. Oh, no. Well, you know what? Why is it? You want to have free guns? Why can't you why is it blocked in Texas? It's not blocked. It's not blocked. You just have to have proof that you're 18 How do you prove that? Yeah, you have Chris Jenner

You have to have proof, okay, I guess well, I'm gonna go home and search it well Porn addiction for kids the real thing I dated a guy that had porn addiction. Yeah, what happened? I mean we broke up eventually he was also a little autistic and then he went to See a sex therapist and I think they were fucking so I guess she fixed it. What he fucked his sex therapist Yeah, Jesus Christ for real. I mean, that's what he told me. I don't think he's like lying about it. What a bitch Yeah, you have to like it's like any other addiction. You have to like stop doing it. I don't even know he had it I'm just focusing on the sex therapist. Yeah, like how crazy is that? She's fucking her clients Maybe she's her boyfriend wasn't a fucking her at all and she was like at least I was obsessed with it. Well, maybe give it to me

Maybe that's how she cures you because if you're horny if you're like a healthy person who's just horny normally and The person you with is not horny at all and you're exhausted by that but you're a sex Therapist and then you're you're talking to some guys good-looking guy and he's like I want to fuck all the time That's the thing with and she's like, you know what? I want to fuck all the time too. Sure I like with porn addiction you're so used like he would have like 300 screens open at once So one person to him is boring. So's what like cornered the key is you need so much I'm exaggerating but you need like a lot of different things open and it probably has to get more and more progressive for you to Like get off. Wow. Well, that's where it gets real weird, right?

Like you start getting into the darker side of porn Like violent porn and choking and gagging, spitting and slapping and abuse, tying people up, that kind of shit. Because if you're just getting your jollies, if you're not just trying to masturbate and have a little fantasy, you want to like, it's gotta get darker and crazier and crazier, it's gotta really freak you out.

But that's why I think you have all those screens open, you're watching all of it at once. You're getting tiny dopamine hits from 100s of people. Right. So then like, just having sex. And then your therapist calling you up, get over here. I got 300 other therapists here. You're a naughty boy.

You're a naughty boy. Get over here. Yeah. So, I mean. How did she say, how did he say that it started with the sex therapist? I don't know. He didn't tell me like the specifics of it. We had been broken up already and we like remained friends and he just told me that they started with the sex therapist? I don't know. He didn't tell me, like, the specifics of it. We had been broken up already, and we, like, remained friends, and he just told me that

they started sleeping together. Jesus. That seems crazy. That's like prison guards fucking the prisoners. I mean, if I was in prison, I would try and fuck all the guards. What else are you going to do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would do everything.

I would become Muslim. I would, like, become trans. I would do everything I could do in prison. Right. Just mix it up. To pass the time. Yeah, especially if you have a long sentence. If you're there for life, I'm down to do everything. I'll do license plates, I'm gonna do hair.

I'm gonna cook, I'm gonna do everything there. Of course, yeah. Yeah. It's weird how many people are in prison. I mean, we went over this the other day. How many people are in prison in the United States compared to the rest of the fucking world? It's like, we have the highest percentage of people

that are in prison, I think, of any country in the Western world, for sure. I mean, China's hard to count because you have essentially slaves. Well, also in China, they all live in tiny boxes anyway, which are prisons of their own doing. Well like you wouldn't say necessarily that the people that make your iPhone are slaves, but they're literally sleeping in dorms and they put nets around the building to keep them from jumping off. Right, I'd rather be in prison. How do you get in prison in China?

At least in prison they like, give you less hours than the Foxconn workers. Sure. Probably get better food. How many people? And of 2023, the US had 1.8 million people in prison, which is more than any other country. China had the second highest number of prisoners with about 100,000 fewer than the US. But the thing about China, again, like it's not just the amount of people in an actual prison, you have to think about the actual people that are slaves. US is the highest incarceration rate in the world, 724 people per 100,000.

England and Wales has an incarceration rate of 145 per 140,000 and Russia has 581 people per 100,000. So Russia's nipping at our heels. Russian people are fucking crazy though. US has longer sentences than many other countries which contributes to the high incarceration rates. I wonder how many other countries have private prisons too. That's the dark part.

Well that's how you make the money. Yeah, yeah. Profit, profit off of people. I remember when I found out that prison guard unions were lobbying to keep marijuana laws because they wanted people to be in jails like what? Yeah, they want money. They need that job. They need those contracts. So many countries have private prisons including United States has the most private prisons in the world, 158

facilities in 30 states, Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia, Australia high percentage of privatized prisons, New Zealand, United Kingdom, Scotland, Wales, South Africa, Japan, Brazil. When did they start with the private prison thing? Like who, what fucking monster? Okay Google this. What was the first private prison? What fucking monster didn't see, didn't see the road ahead when you allow people to profit off of people being locked up? What monster didn't see you're gonna just have people

lock more people up? 1984, these motherfuckers. It's George Orwell, literally is Orwell. I would have thought it was before that. No, it's a fairly recent thing. prison used to be something that we used to have because We had to lock certain people up to protect them from society and instead it became hey, I think I could make money I Think I make money off people in jail. They're using people like batteries to generate money This thing says Louisiana privatized its It's penitentiary.

I don't know if there's a big differentiation between that. 1844. Privatized, which was run as a factory. Yeah. Inmates were used to produce cheap clothing for enslaved people. Wow. That's crazy. You're producing clothes for slaves.

I mean, that is basically just Xi'an. That's what they're doing in China. Right. All those clothes that are like $2. Yeah, that's weird, right? I know. You can buy a total knockoff of a designer dress for like $4. I know.

It's great. I love it. They're being, they think you love it. I think there's a documentary on that that I was watching. My kid was watching it, and I walked in on it on was it like the she and documentary. Mm-hmm Yeah, they were talking about these people like they lost the contract because they weren't able to produce things as fast as this company Needed them and if it's just all about the knockoff industry over there So if you're a designer you might take that top that you're wearing and people like it

They'll just take that cop top and copy it exactly and sell for five bucks. You know, and you're like, what? It's $59 on my website. Nope, five bucks. Why are there not knockoff iPhones? There are. Not only is there a knockoff iPhone, there's a knockoff Apple store in China

where every single item is not really Apple. But it works just as good. It does not work as good. I doubt it Why wouldn't they cut corners? They're already lying to you I know like if they're why wouldn't they put a cheaper chip in the laptops when they put cheaper screens if you want to use Like Gorilla Glass and amylid displays. That's just expensive. You some cheap ass, you know five- year ago bullshit and just sell it for morons. If it lasts for a couple years, that's great. Five year old bullshit still works. Yeah, it does. It's not great though. I mean I drop my phone all the time. Try to register with the Apple store and

like, nah, player. That's hated iPhone. That's why you need riots so you can steal the stuff. It all comes back to that. Stealing all this stuff. But someone's got can steal the stuff. It all comes back to that. Stealing all this stuff. But someone's gotta make the stuff. Slaves. Yeah, in China. Slaves in prison in China. Yeah.

I mean, what percentage of, let's ask this. What percentage of our electronics is made in China? Probably 95%. Well, a lot gets made in Japan and South Korea. Like Sony, huge. Samsung, huge. They're probably one of the biggest electronics makers. They make everything.

They make refrigerators. They make like smart refrigerators where you can like check your refrigerator with your phone to see what the fuck's in there. To make sure your refrigerator is like not doing something. Yeah, checking on you. Keeping an eye on that motherfucker. What's going on in there how many ice cubes have you made ice cubes from your refrigerator from your freezer are

they the dirtiest ice cubes of all time like I don't ever want those my glass stuff is all coming from China you nailed it oh yeah all the stuff that gets made actually gets made from Apple That's all China laptops and computer modern China supplies 92% of US imports phones China supplies 74% of US phone imports so Samsung does not use China for phones and I don't know if it's an ethical thing or what but I think they make their phones in India and

Somewhere else maybe Vietnam But this is there a correlation between them like Stopping killing baby girls in China with making all of this stuff Where they go like let's keep them alive so we could have them No, I think they just woke up and said we have like 85 percent men right in all these poor women are fucked You know like they have to keep fucking all these guys. Yeah, there's not enough We have to live with like three or four guys just to balance it out Gross take turns

Hmm they reclue relocated some of the manufacturing from China Southeast Asia to avoid high labor costs What? Say those slaves are expensive Adrian, huh? Samsung also hasn't been able to compete with Chinese brands like Xiaomi Oppo and Vivo in the Chinese market Interesting. I've never even heard of those brands. Yeah, they make, Xiaomi makes high-end Android phones. In the rest of the world, Android phones are huge. I know.

Because everybody uses WhatsApp. They don't really give a fuck about high message. WhatsApp is like big in the Hispanic community too. Yeah, WhatsApp is huge. I have friends that only talk to me on WhatsApp. I do too. Yeah. Well, Zuckerberg owns it.

He owns it. But I don't talk to him other than WhatsApp. He's a WhatsApp. But he owns WhatsApp. You talk to him on WhatsApp? Yeah, I talk to him on WhatsApp. What does he say? We talk shit about things.

Yeah? He's like, what's up? He's a nice guy. He really is. He's a billionaire. He's a nice guy. He really is. He's a billionaire. He's a nice guy. Because when someone's really rich, like, oh, that guy's not a person.

Yeah, but he didn't start out rich, though, did he? No. Of course not. He invented Facebook. Yeah, but some people start. Some people are rich and they had their families had money the whole time. That's weird.

Yeah. That's weird, right? Because then you're insulated from birth, and then you go right into a deeper layer of insulation where you're like Completely. Yeah, completely Disconnected from people that's when you get into like Bill Gates category, which let's figure out a way to block out the Sun You're so rich where you're like I really want to fuck shit up for everyone Imagine like I was reading this thing about Bill Gates his idea to block out the Sun and

Oopsies, Jimmy Sorry, no worries happens. I'll clean it. I'm a woman. I'll clean it. Yeah, I know my place Like he would they were talking about Bill Gates has some plan to stop global warming Like shoot particles into the air to block out the Sun and people like hey Do you know me fucking people were on earth? You can't just come up with that idea and try it like What about the rest of us? Vitamin D, but imagine being so ridiculous

You're you're so wealthy that you think I could just block the Sun. I kind of love it I kind of love that this guy's so nuts He is nuts And then you're like I'm just gonna stop like water from. Like you're just gonna, like I love so many other things that can do that much damage to the world. I think people should just stop eating meat. And then he just tries to get everybody to eat stupid fucking fake meat.

That's fine, but imagine blocking out the sun. That's crazy. Yeah, he's also buying farmland. To do what? Who fucking knows? Probably grow his fake meat food. Like GMO shit? Yeah, well fake meat is made out of

plant protein and so you have to grow plants. I've never had it. It's nasty. I bet it's disgusting. The thing about it is like if you want to have healthy vegetarian food go eat Indian food it tastes delicious it's good for you and it's vegetarian like it just doesn't have to pretend to be a cheeseburger. Right. The fake cheeseburger stuff is all seed oil. Just eat legumes and whatever you're gonna eat. Yeah, if you can do it.

Like if you wanna eat healthy and have delicious food, Indian food's the way to go. 100, there's an Indian food restaurant in Woodland Hills I used to go to all the time. There's this cool place, it was like everybody spoke Hindi and you went in there and you had to just guess what you were eating, everything was vegetarian. That's pretty scary to me.

Oh, it was super, super authentic. It was like, there's this weird offshoot Indian community and so they had this Indian grocery store and then in the back of the Indian grocery store they had this cafe and it was all Indian food. It was really good though. They use a lot of spices to oh, yeah They know how to spice the shit out of those vegetables, but it was good. It was like delicious Vegetables, it's pretty healthy

Vegetables and like all that stuff's pretty good. Also, they use a lot of turmeric You know like in curcumin and all those spices and like that's all anti-inflammatory You know like in curcumin and all those spices and like that's all anti-inflammatory Right. I mean you have to be close to a bathroom, but like it is pretty good. Let's go Go I'm gonna eat this on the run, but that's my point is like if you want to fucking eat vegetarian If you want to eat vegetables only there's a way to do it that tastes good And you don't have to pretend you're eating a fucking burger those bar burgers I guess you just feel left out like what is the point of pretending to eat that well? that tastes good and you don't have to pretend you're eating a fucking burger. Those burgers are nasty.

I guess you just feel left out. Like what is the point of pretending to eat that? Well, it's because the people quit eating meat. Right, I understand that. No, they quit and then they want the meat back. They wish they could have the meat. Oh, you can pretend you're eating the meat. It even bleeds just like a burger.

Gross. It's all gross. Just eat a burger or eat beans and whatever you eat. It's also super duper unhealthy for you. It's all gross. Just eat a burger or eat beans and whatever you eat. It's also super duper unhealthy for you. It can't be healthy to manufacture it like that. It's so processed. If you want to eat vegetables, this is how you eat them.

Come out of the ground, clean them up. Cook them. Put some spices. Cook them. That's a vegetable. You know, running through fucking machines and glop it up with oils and extract things and compress it and Shut the fuck up. You ever see what Tempe looks like? Oh, it's nasty. I know my friend was eating it one time. I was like that looks disgusting

I was watching the production of tofu like from scratch with all these machines like why would you ever think that's natural? And tofu doesn't taste good. I mean I know it picks up the flavor whatever it is, but it's like, on its own, it has no taste. No, on its own, it has no taste. It's a crude source of protein that doesn't have a lot of amino acids in it. It's not as bioavailable, but you can live on it. Like, you can live on vegetables.

You can do it. It's not advisable. You just don't have energy, though. No, you're missing so many things. You're missing creatine, you're missing a bunch of amino acids, you're missing vitamin B12. There's a bunch of things you're gonna have to supplement with. You know, there's ways people supplement that can mitigate some of that. Algae is a good one because algae is kind of a life form that's different and you can get certain vitamins from algae that you can't get from just like plants that grow above ground.

This sounds disgusting. It does sound disgusting. You know what vegans should really consider adopting into their diet? Mollusks. Because mollusks are actually more primitive than plants. They just, you got to go over the fact they move. Okay? Because Venus fly traps move too. They do.

Would you feel bad about eating a Venus fly trap salad? If you do, you're a cuckoo person. You're not just a vegetarian. You're a cuckoo person. Now you think the Venus fly trap is smarter than like cabbage? That's stupid. That doesn't make any sense. Do vegetarians not eat any vegetables either?

Aren't there some people that believe like all of that? Oh, fruitarians. That's a fruitarian, yeah. So then what do they eat? Well those people eat cancer, they die. I mean that's crazy. That's so bad for you to just only eat fruit. You're overwhelmed with sugar, you're eating sugar all day long.

Sugar should be something you have every now and then, I think. I mean I think sugar is generally, it causes all sorts of inflammation, it's not really good for you. It tastes great, but it's not good for you. You mean like fruit sugar or like? Even fruit sugar.

I think you should get fruit sugar in the form of fruit only. You definitely shouldn't get it in orange juice. Orange juice is no different than drinking a Coca-Cola. But what if it's like 100% just orange juice? Doesn't matter. Your body's not used to processing all that liquid sugar. Yeah, exactly the same way maybe even worse Because some like my daughter once got one of them little apple juices from Disneyland

Mm-hmm, and she looks at she goes Jesus Christ. This has 18 grams of sugar in it Oh, yeah, tiny thing. Yeah, like what is a coca-cola Jamie? Is it 30? Let's guess How many grams of sugar do you think coca-cola Jamie is it 30? Let's great. Let's guess how many grams of sugar do you think coca-cola? I was in it. I can 40 40 38. I say about 30. What do you think Jamie? like 30 ish 39, okay That's it. Oh, okay. So what is 12 ounces of orange juice? 12 ounces of let juice. 12 ounces of, let's say fresh squeezed, so you think you're eating

healthy. Fresh squeezed orange juice. You still have to be better off having a fruit juice over a Diet Coke. Not Diet Coke, a regular Coke. Not much. Well, they're both fructose, right? About 30. 30, yeah. Real similar. Real similar to a Coca-Cola. You do get vitamin C, you get that. But if you want orange juice, you should get it from eating oranges. Sure. Because that's what, your body knows what to do with that. Your body gets a slice of orange and goes, I don't want to do with this.

This is good. There's plenty of fiber in there. So how does your body not, okay, so let me answer this. Okay. If you're drinking orange juice, how come your body doesn't recognize that as an orange? Because it's going straight to your liver. Okay, there's no breaking down of fiber. There's no and you're getting a dose of Equivalent to like eating eight oranges immediately. Okay, your body's like what the fuck is this? That's why soda's so bad for you. Sure. Your body's like what the fuck is this? Well, I stopped eating sugar

totally I only have like fruit but like other than that I don't have any like cookies or cake or any of that stuff how do you feel I feel better I mean I lost a ton of weight you look great thanks I I was you lose from the last time I was here probably like 45 50 pounds but I also was working out too how do your joints feel? They must feel so much lighter. They do, but like I have a friend who's like losing weight. It doesn't matter how much you weigh,

it doesn't weigh on your joints. And I'm like, you know that's like not true. That doesn't make any sense. I know, but you just kind of have to let people think that because what am I going to do, fight with you about it? Just, okay, fine. She said it doesn't make a difference in your joints? It doesn't make a difference how much you weigh,

like on your knees. Is it a guy or a girl? A girl. Hmm. And I was like, okay. I'm just, like, I was staying at her house too, and I was like, I'm not going to fight with you about this. I used to notice the difference when I was fighting, when I would lose weight, when I

would compete. So I used to weigh like 155 pounds, and I had to compete at 140. And just that 15 pound weight you felt. Oh yeah, I felt so light. I felt so light on my feet. Well, I work out with a vest. I put a weight vest on. So it's a 25 pound weight vest.

And I do like all these body weight exercises. When I get that, that 25 pounds doesn't seem like much. I get that thing off me. I'm like, oh. Yeah, I mean my back, everything feels better. Of course, your joints, everything. You're over strained. off me I'm like oh yeah I mean my back everything feels better of course your joints everything you're over strapped but your legs are probably strong as fuck I used to say that about Ralphie May I'm like bro if you could lose weight

you could kick through a fucking building but I think your knees are just like we destroy right but they will get a break they're gonna get a break because you're gonna lose if you lose 400 pounds I mean if I was looking at his legs, I'm like the muscle you must have in your legs you you go upstairs You know like Ralphie was performing in the belly room He went to the belly room. So he had to go upstairs You remember the belly room of the store? That's a fucking stair old-school staircase, but I mean how often are you doing that? Well, he's walking a lot, because he was always walking, just walking.

Imagine if, okay, I weigh 205 pounds, if I had to put on a, what did Ralphie weigh in his prime, if you had to guess? I have no idea, 500 pounds. 500 pounds. If I had to put on 300 pounds, imagine if I, and I'm in shape, imagine if I had a walk around the Comedy Store with a dumbbell on my weight on my back or a barbell on my

back with 300 pounds on it okay but I mean I can make it like 30 steps then I have to put it down and take a break for like five minutes and then try to pick it up again I'd be exhausted this dude's just walking around all day like that but if you're walking around that much you're gonna lose a lot of weight too. He almost lost that much weight. That's what you lost? Yeah. He weighed almost 800 pounds.

Yo. And just walking up the stairs at the Belly Room, he lost 300 pounds? Just once, one time. One time? That's crazy. Why are we not having all the fat people walk? Wow, he used to weigh over 800 pounds.

He underwent gastric bypass surgery and lost 350 pounds, but has struggled with his weight. He blew out his gastric bypass twice. Well, the thing is, with a lot of people that get those surgeries, if you're not figuring out the reason why you're overeating like that, it doesn't matter. You can still gain the weight back if you eat small meals all day long.

I have friends that have gotten it. And you just eat small meals all day long, and you're just still gaining the weight back if you eat small meals all day long. I have friends that have gotten it and you just eat small meals all day long. Right. And you're just still gaining the weight back. Yeah. You at least maintain your weight. You can't keep as much in there at a time as like a giant plate of food but. No but if you eat little meals all day and graze, you'll gain the weight back. I know people that have had that surgery and you're like, oh you just gained a lot of your weight back. Right so they're not eating because they're hungry. They're eating because they're crazy. Well's something wrong. Well they're eating right It's like the same way people abuse anything right if it's alcohol or sex or drugs

You know it's the same thing right you're trying to like numb out and fill a void so if you don't actually address that you're Not gonna just stop eating so someone told me this Find out this is true does Bruno Mars owe the MGM a ton of money from gambling? Is that true? I've seen the story where someone just claims they were there. Yeah, I've talked to someone who claims it's, someone who would know, who claims it's true.

But isn't that crazy, if true, that even a guy like Bruno Mars, who's just super wealthy, super famous, super talented singer. It doesn't mean you don't have issues though, right? But the gambling one is a nutty one. It is well my dad was a gambler MGM. He has no debt Because MGM probably made some sort of a deal right right because this doesn't he have like some sort of it He has no debt with MGM

Wink wink so they have a deal. So what is uh? What they have some sort of a he has a residency there right? I think so. The word is I don't know if he's got a gambling problem. My dad was a gambler and like he made no money it's the craziest thing to be a gambler when you have no real money. Oh it's a crazy one it's a crazy addiction. It's an addiction that I first saw when I started hanging out in pool halls when I was 23. I became addicted to playing pool. I was playing it all the time. I blew my knee out. I needed to get knee surgery. And when I blew my knee out, it couldn't

work out. So I had to wait for surgery. And so like my ACL was all fucked up. And so I just started playing pool with one of my friends and I became addicted to playing pool and I would go there All the time because as a comedian, I didn't have a job I just would go on stage at night and during the daytime, right? I'd hang out in pool halls and at nighttime and hang out in pools and I just Got around these people that I I've never known anybody like that before just fully Addicted to gambling all day long. They would go to the racetrack. They would go to off track betting My dad used to take me to OTB as a kid.

That's brutal. And that's when they used to let you smoke. You just come home smelling like smoke. It's disgusting. And you're hanging out in there as a kid. Me and my sister, we would hang out with my dad in the OTB for hours. I feel like such a good dad.

Yeah. You're a way better dad. It wouldn't be bad if my dad was gambling and he was like, you know, he was a mailman. You can't, you can't, you can't do both of those things at the same time. Yeah It's a crazy one. It's a really crazy. Who hasn't told us that the dad The dad was gambling so hard. They lost their house Fuck I forgot the whole story, but it's just

You don't hear a story very rarely about a gambling addict who like kills it and like they retire in Vegas And they have no because you keep going until you eventually lose everything. Yeah, it's a dark one. Did you see uncut gems? No, you should see it. Well. You might be too close to home It's a it's Adam Sandler. I think it best movie ever. And it wasn't even a comedy at all. It's a drama. He fucking kills in it too. It's so good. I have heard other people say that.

It's so good. I gotta watch it. But it's, for me, like, having known those people, and it's so filled with anxiety. Because it's a sports betting thing. Sports bettors are the craziest ones. Because there's so many different ways to bet. You can bet the spread, you can bet parlays, you can do all.

My dad, for a while my dad was like taking money from his pension, which like, yeah, so when he died there was like really not that much money. My mom was forcing him to go to Gambler's Anonymous while he was also still gambling. It's not gonna help. If you don't really wanna stop, right, if you don't wanna stop, you're not gonna stop.

I think food is the hardest one Because food addiction you always have to eat food right all the other ones you can kind of just not That's why I stopped eating sugar because once I start eating it. I can't stop right so then once it's like out of your system You don't crave it anymore. Well. That's because your gut bacteria changes that makes sense. Yeah It's what is it? Candida? Is that what it is? There's a specific type of gut flora that consumes sugar and it thrives on sugar.

And with people that eat a lot of sugar, it's very prominent in their gut bacteria. And it literally changes your brain. It changes your chemistry. It changes your mood. Doesn't sugar also just like a breeding ground for cancer, like when you have cancer? Oh yeah, one of the things they tell you if you get cancer. It's to stop sugar. Stop all sugar, get on a ketogenic diet, so get your body to eat like high fats.

Go into ketosis. Yeah, eat a lot of macadamia nuts and things with, you know, things you get a lot of fat from and just that's, your body starts burning fat, which you feel so much better when you live like that. Your brain works better. Yeah, for sure. You're just like in a brain fog. Yeah, for sure for me.

I mean, you know, I'm Italian, so I grew up eating pasta and bread and pizza. It was like common. And when I stopped doing it, when I went like on a carnivore diet, the first thing that I thought that was really bizarre was how I wasn't hungry during the day. Like I never got this like famished starvation feeling. The first thing that I thought that was really bizarre was how I wasn't hungry during the day.

Like I never got this like famished starvation feeling. Well, cause isn't it like if you're eating stuff that's like high in carbohydrates like that, doesn't your blood sugar drop really quickly and stuff? Yeah, it spikes when you eat it. Or spikes. It's insulin. Your body produces a ton of insulin.

And you want your body to run on ketones. If your body runs on ketones, it's just like, it works better, or your thought. One of the things that I noticed almost immediately was when I came in to do podcasts, I was much better at it. My brain, just from a performance enhancing perspective, my brain functions better.

I can form sentences better. If I was eating a lot of sugar, you almost get like that same hungover feeling as if you drink. Like I've had that where like if you binge eat sugar and then the next day you're like, oh my God, I feel so hungover. It's similar.

Yeah. It's similar. Like there's something, it's not as extreme because you're probably not dehydrated too. But yeah, your body's like, what are you doing to me, man? What are you doing? It's not good. It's not good. Not at all. But it's so delicious like it is so fucking good. Why are you eating it?

I know why are you eating it like that's how my dad felt gambling on the horses It's like this feels so good And then what he so they would send us to Catholic school And he would like not pay like tuition and then they would call me in to like talk to me Oh, and I have to go talk to my dad and he was gambling money tuition and then they would call me in to talk to me. And I'd have to go talk to my dad. And he was gambling money away? Yeah, my dad was always gambling.

I think people need some excitement in their life. Sure, and it's like, why are you doing that? What are you trying to numb out? Because God knows what he was, you know what I mean? Everyone's trying to fix their problems from their childhood or they're not. There's that, but I think with gambling, it's also excitement.

And you get addicted to just having a purpose and having excitement. Your purpose is to figure out when the Knicks are going to win by 17 points. And if they win, you win, and then yes, I'm alive. It like spikes, like you just like that feeling of winning and then that that feeling of losing that's the craziest thing about the Adam Sandler movie There's a moment in it spoiler where he does make this big win And so with this big way he's gonna be able to pay all these people off

They're trying to kill him and he immediately doubles down and puts it on another you like Right you just because that's the thing you're chasing that high constantly I had a friend who's a huge gambler and like he lost so much money and no matter how much he gambles He's up $15,000. He's still chasing that eight million dollar loss So it doesn't matter. He's he's constantly chasing that big loss and like no matter how much he wins He's like yeah, but I still lost all that other money, so I'm gonna keep chasing this My good friend Dana White is a gambling addict. And also if you're super rich you just have more to lose. Oh yeah he goes hard.

We went to visit him at Green Valley, was it Green? No. Red Rocks? Red Rocks. We went to visit him at Red Rocks, Jamie and I went. And when we got there he was $600,000 down. When we got there. That's crazy. Playing blackjack. But at the end of the night, he stayed till like 6 in the morning, he was $600,000 down. When we got there. That's crazy. Playing blackjack.

But at the end of the night, he stayed till like 6 in the morning, he was $600,000 up. So he won that money back, and then he got him for $600,000. That's crazy. He's there all the time. He loves it. But he's worth like, I don't know what he's worth,

hundreds of millions of dollars. Right. He can get away with that. Sure. Not my dad who's making $40,000 a dollars. Right. He can get away with that. Sure. Not my dad who's making 40 grand a year. But it's nutty that even a wealthy guy, you would think, you're that wealthy, why would you want to gamble? It's just the feeling.

Why would you want to just do- There's nothing that replicates that feeling that you get when you're winning or losing. Yeah. It's a real drug. For sure. And it's a weird one. It's a really weird. It's like it hijacks like

your human reward system that's built to solve problems and overcome adversaries and you know conquer and get conquered. Like it's hijacking that little part of your brain. I kind of want to gamble. Right now right? Right now. Let's just fucking go. If you were a gambler what do you think your game would be? Whenever I do do it's just like slots and I really that's the dumbest one I know cuz I don't really know how to play blackjack or anything I would like to learn. Yeah, I did learn blackjack a little bit. My friend was teaching me I think I could learn blackjack craps I'm like you might as well be trying to teach me

how to read ancient Hebrew. The weird one to me is someone who puts all the money on the red or black. Oh, roulette? Yeah. That's a nutty one. It is, because don't you have to get the number? How do you even bet on that?

It's such a chance. I think there's a bunch of different ways you can bet. I think you can bet red or black. You can bet specific numbers. I think there's a bunch of different ways you can bet. I think you can bet red or black You can bet specific numbers, and I think there's a bunch of different ways But if you wanted to like bet at all red or black, I think you can I think you bet like a hundred grand on one Roll I think it's gonna come out red I don't know. I just like the feeling you get putting say you put a hundred grand down and then it you lose and you're like That's my children's tuition.

There goes our house. But that thing addicts people. I mean, that's the argument why casinos shouldn't be everywhere. Because people would just everywhere they would be falling into gambling addiction. For the most, I mean, casinos, like there's one in Yonkers in New York. It's so depressing. It's just all old people that are there on disability just sitting there and they're doing that thing.

The slots. The slots and you're smoking. Just having something exciting. I know. Just waiting to die. It's very sad. You're waiting to die. Yeah.

It's a dark thing that you just sit these people in front of those things and just they press buttons. And all the lights are going on, so the little brain is getting activity. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. My mother told me that my grandmother was like a big gambler and she also didn't have money. It's crazy when people who are poor are gambling

and she would lose the money all the time. Like the rent money, my grandfather used to hit her. Oh God. I know and I was like, I guess he didn't hit her hard enough to learn. Because she kept doing it. It did work. She just kept doing it.

My grandmother used to run the numbers for the mob. Interesting. Yeah, she actually went to jail. She went to jail for like six months. You really are Italian. I didn't even know you were Italian. Yeah, my grandmother, she was addicted to the numbers. And she would always talk about the numbers.

Like, I was going to bet this, that, and that. But this one came through, and I changed my mind she was always like change your mind the whole time where you're just like should I do this number should I do that number it was most conversations I had with her were about either ghosts psychics or the numbers do you I mean do psychics work because wouldn't you think they could predict the numbers yeah I think psychic phenomenon is an emerging property of human consciousness that's not quite there yet. I think that language didn't develop overnight. I think eyesight didn't develop overnight. And I think psychic

connection between human beings is a real thing that nobody... I think some people are better at it they have more of a gene for it or more of a it could be like a biochemistry thing it could be a psychology thing there's there's something that you connect to sometimes where you know something right but you don't know why you know it there's when you know someone's gonna call and then they call you thinking about someone they call you I think that's real I think it's just not you can't put it on a scale. I think the problem is it's too a fear real

It's like too ephemeral rather as to It's not quite there yet, but I think it's an emerging thing It's happening would you want to know the day you're gonna die if you could find out no Would you want to know how you're gonna die? you could find out? No. Would you wanna know how you're gonna die? No, no. I'm interested in, while I'm alive, just living. I would like to know the day. I wouldn't wanna know.

I don't wanna know. Because then I would just take a lot more chances. You'd be freaking out the last few days. Sure, but like, I would probably do a lot of stuff now if I knew I was gonna die at like 70 or 80. Well, you probably are gonna die at 70 or 80. So you should probably think that way. Yeah, but you don't know for sure. Well, technology could come along and extend that way.

Because then I would try and see if I could die before. Just like run across the highway. Really, like just beat the system? See if I could beat the system. You can always jump off a bridge. Imagine that. George Washington Bridge, if I was gonna do it, that's the best, it's the bridge to go off of.

Do people do that? I'm sure they do. But got to do it when it screws enough people like Labor Day weekend or something. Just hold that traffic up. I had a friend who jumped off the Golden Gate. I guess he died. He did. Do you ever see that documentary? About the people that lived? I haven't seen it but I've heard of it. I know about it. It's interesting because some of the people that lived are like as soon as you jump you regret it. Yeah of course. It's like your body's like freaking out. It's like, oh my god.

Yeah. You have three seconds to think about life before you plummet 75 miles an hour into the ocean. They always stop traffic too on the bridge. Which is weird. Right, because you're like, they're already dead. So they pop out of the water and land in the middle of the road. Just go on the ground and look for them.

What are we doing up here? Why can't I go over the bridge? Why are you stopping traffic on the bridge? I guess it's to make sure that nobody pushed him. Look for evidence of fingernails clawing at the poles. Sure, but the highway's fine, though. I agree. Just look on the edges.

I think whenever they get a chance to shut things down, they like it. One time I got hit by a car, a drunk driver, and they shut the highway down. All the cars are there And you kind of just they're like yeah, it's amazing. This is all for me Fuck you It's kind of weird guys aren't picking your kids up. Yeah, sorry

Driver decided to hit me. Oh guess you're gonna shit your pants. Sorry not gonna make it home in time That's true. Fuck. Yeah, it's true. I had a drunk driver hit my car and then asked me if I would help them push their car off the highway Oh, that's adorable. Yeah, he was so wrecked. How drunk was he? I don't know. He went away in handcuffs, but like he had an Audi and he wasn't even his car. Oh Jesus He was undocumented I'm like, I don't even know if he did he have a license. I don't know but he has an inch It was crazy the whole situation. He was like, hey, can you push me off the highway? I was like probably not Damn, dude. That's how people die to buddy. My from high school died that way. It was changing his tire side of a highway

That's crazy. Yeah, it's so dangerous people don't fucking pay attention They don't especially if it's late at night Well, especially now this was many years ago before cell phones when this kid died. But this like now? The odds look like when I see people on motorcycles I'm like God damn that's so risky. It's very risky. So few people are paying attention. I see people texting all the time. Everyone is texting all the time. I would rather drive with drunk drivers than people texting and driving. They're always all over the road. All over the road and not only that the amount of space you cover Well, you look down at your phone for like a couple of seconds and type in a word

The amount of space you cover if you're going 60 miles an hour is really crazy Of course, and then you're also not paying attention to the other people who are texting and driving It really is just like chaos. Well, maybe I'll get home maybe I won't. Why don't we all have bumper cars? Let me ask you that. I think... Wouldn't it be better if everybody had a big rubber thing all around the outside of the car so we could just kind of bounce off of each other? Probably.

That would be a good idea. But then you also need people to die because we're just too overpopulated. That's where fentanyl comes in. Fentanyl, exactly. Give everyone fentanyl comes in. Fentanyl, exactly. Give everyone fentanyl. Like if you were going to fix the homeless problem and you weren't going to use fentanyl, what would you do? I'm giving them fentanyl.

Because it's like a nice way to go out. Right. It's quick. It is quick. And you're so happy and then you're dead. They have Narcan everywhere though. They just bring people back to life. But the thing is it's like-

I never see Narcan anywhere. If you weren't going to, like, if you, like, for real, if you were trying, if you were just objective, you weren't looking at this in terms of, like, what's the kind thing to do, and you wanted to clean up the homeless situation. Well, you have to spend a lot of money on mental health. Right. You know, you have to, like,

care about the veterans. I, like, I have a whole joke about this on my special, about how, like, we don't really care about veterans. And I've dated a lot of them, a lot veterans that like come back and they're so screwed up Yeah, and we're not like actually helping them now and a lot of them end up on the street and they're crazy but they need like a lot of You know like mental health and they have to you have to like kind of figure out how to go back into society Oh, yeah

Like I've dated several veterans and like they're crazy understandably, you know? Understandably. You can't go to war for like eight years and then come back and work at Target. It's just not a way that that happens. Right. So you would have to be willing to like help veterans, you'd have to spend money on mental health

and you have that, but the problem is like doing those things doesn't really yield a lot of money. So people don't wanna waste their money into it. That's what's fucked up. Right. They do whatever they can get away with. And if they get away with using the veterans and not paying for them to be better, they just do.

Also, everyone's like, well, they can go to a VA hospital. It's like, I've seen how hard it is to get services from there. And that's a person that's not really crazy and messed up from war. Right. So it's like, you're making it so hard for these people that go and serve the from war. Right. So it's like you're making it so hard for these people that go and serve the country. I know.

I talked to JD Vance about this. I talked to him about psychedelics. And what did he say? Well, he wasn't aware of it, honestly. And so he was interested in it. And hopefully, now that he's actually the vice president, I could connect him with some people that could perhaps show him some things and explain

to him all the different ways that they've figured out, especially in other countries like in Mexico, to help veterans. Ibogaine's a big one. Ibogaine, psilocybin, ayahuasca, all these different psychedelics have shown to have remarkable effects. Even for depression, I think people take it. They microdose. Yeah. Well, not They microdose. Yeah well

not just microdose like the the Ibogaine one is I've never done that but what I understand it's like almost like a 24 hour, you want some water? It's like a 24 hour experience that shows you like a movie of your life. I don't want to see that. It shows you, well it shows you apparently, and this is just me hearing what other people told me, but it explains to you why you have these problems and shows you what developed, where the issue started. And by seeing that, you could figure it out. You go, oh, okay, well I won't do that anymore.

Now I get it. Now I get what this hole I've been trying to fill is I don't need to fill the hole anymore So but that's the thing like I feel like I know what was like probably wrong in my childhood I know that but it doesn't like fix me right. It's different It's not just knowing it. It's like seeing it at Almost like a subatomic level okay seeing the process almost like a subatomic level. Like seeing the process, seeing what's going on inside of you and recognize that this is a very bad path to follow.

Not just knowing it and still doing it, not just like not being able to get out of a habit, not being able to get out of a pattern or behavior, but to see like the source of it, the path where it takes you and the right way to go. And to see it laid out, where you go, oh, I could just do this, and just like let that go, and move on, and be a better person, be a healthier person, be happier. Yeah.

And so many people that I know have done that. They've stopped drinking, stopped opiates. You know, opioids is a big one. It's a big one that it helps. Ibogaine does. And Ibogaine is like completely non-addictive. Apparently, it's a terrible one that it helps. Ibogaine does. And Ibogaine is like completely non addictive. Apparently it's a terrible experience and nobody wants to do it again. Ibogaine? Yeah, you do it. What is it? It's from the iboga tree, which is an African tree

that has, it's a very bizarre, I don't know what category of psychedelic it's in, but it's not technically, it's not like psilocybin, it's not, which is mushrooms, it's not technically, it's not like psilocybin, which is mushrooms, it's not like dimethyltryptamine, which is ayahuasca, it's something completely different, some different pathway, but particularly effective. Again, I've never tried it, but everybody I've talked to that has, particularly effective in curing addictions. Interesting, I've never heard of that.

Yeah, I know quite a few guys. My friend Ed Clay, he actually opened up a place in Mexico because he hurt his back. He's a jujitsu guy. A lot of jujitsu guys fucked their backs up. Like, my back's all fucked up. And then you go to, yeah, you get an operation or you get a pill. You know, you need some pain pills

because you literally can't tie your shoes because your fucking back is flared up. And then next thing you know, you're hooked and Thanks to the Sackler family those sweeties They need so much money though those fucking monsters We're just talking the other day about they they started the Valium thing too They were responsible for the Valium thing in the 1970s same family. It's a family of demons Sure, just fucking monsters and

No one's in jail. I Watched the documentary. I guess it was about the Sackler family was like that like one. I don't know there was a couple There's one on I think Hulu and there and then there's one also on Netflix. Yeah, there was dope sick And I watched dope sick that was the Netflix one one called Jimmy painkiller That what it's called That's the Peter Berg one Peter Berg came and explained it all to us and talked about the documentary is fucking great It's so good because it's like they're such demons and just to know that people like that exist and walk amongst us That's it. Well, listen speaking in Netflix project fucking kills it in that too

Go watch my Netflix special. Yes, Adrian. The Dark Queen. The Netflix special, tell her, where'd you film it? We filmed it at The Cellar. Oh nice, nice. That must be good for you, right? Comfortable?

Yeah, just cause I'm used to it, but I gotta tell you, like, your club is amazing. I love it. Thank you. I would definitely film something. Well, we love you too. Yeah, I would definitely film my next one there. Everyone's been trying to get you to move here.

I'm gonna be moving here Oh, I'm gonna come here Probably like a little bit in December and then I'm going to LA to promote the Dark Queen and then I'll be here in January Oh shit, I know nice and I'll be seeing Marshall all the time So the last time I talked to you about this was in the bar at Mitzvah's you mean Bridget. That's right Do we push over the top? Well Ari was was like, said the meanest thing to me. Want to see the text that Ari sent me? Sure, yeah. He sent me a text like,

Adrian's coming to Austin, convince her to move there. He's telling everyone that. He goes, well, fine, just be a feature the rest of your life. I was like, all right, Ari, I get it. I'll find it. Fuck, there's too many. There's too many goddamn. But Ari's excited for the specialties. Like, I think everyone's going to be really upset.

I was like, I hope so. Listen, I want people to like it, but I also know that, like, it's triggered topics that people are going to be upset by. Of course, but that's your specialty. I know. You like doing that. But that's the thing, I think people think

I'm trying to like be dark. It's just kind of who I am. Well, you joke around like that off stage as well. Right. Yeah. Like, and I think nothing of saying it. Well, if you were raised by a guy who took you to a smoke-filled off-track betting when you were a little girl,

when little girls wanna go to the park and hang with their friends, and instead you're around a bunch of fucking gamblers and degenerates. I mean, yeah, my uncle was a hells angel. Like, it's just my whole, everyone's crazy in my family. Yeah. So it's like.

That's the way you make fun. Yeah, and I had a friend in grammar school that killed himself, and we all went to the funeral and then went out after, and all of our sense of humor is so dark. And you're like, oh, that's also where I got it. Where was this? In the Bronx.

The Bronx, yeah. Well, the Bronx is, that's a high sense of humor type of place, because there's just so much fucked up things going on. Right, and everyone's like kind of poor. Yeah, and they have the darkest sense of humor, because they've experienced the most. My mom also has a dark sense of humor.

Really? Yeah, so like, it's just that's kind of passed down, I think. Well, I think your mom probably experienced a lot of fucked up things too, obviously, and she was married to your dad, so that helps. But like, cops have the most fucked up sense of humor. Joke around with cops. Once they get comfortable with you,

Oh yeah. They see the worst shit all day long. Of course. Yeah, they have the most fucked up senses of humor So the firemen on percent yeah anyone that has like a high Any one that has a high P. What is it PTSD? Yeah, and I date a lot of guys with PTSD That's your thing, and I just give them more It's a cycle of PTSD

All should be hospitalized Do you meet guys after shows? Like, how do you meet them? Like, they kind of have to know what you do before they see you, otherwise they're gonna go, oh, Jesus Christ. I mean, I've had people like that, I think the tour preparing for the special was hard

because it was just people coming out that didn't know my sense of humor. And if you don't know that and you're taking a chance on me, I'm not like that person to take a chance on. Right. Or I think sometimes they're like supporting a woman, and I'm like, I'm not the right woman to take a chance on and support. That's okay.

You're just not gonna be happy. You're gonna be so bad at you. I've had people walk out. I did that military joke in Texas. Yeah. And like 20 cowboys just walked out. And I wasn't even saying anything bad about the military. I'm like, we just don't care.

We don't care about them. Some people are just dumb and they see it as their, this is my chance to make a protest. Let me just get up right now. But they hung in so long through the show, whereas like- That one was it? Yeah, it was probably 50 minutes in.

Did you crack jokes about Jesus at all? Sure. And they were fine with that? Maybe they were they didn't walk. Maybe Jesus put them to the edge of their sheet It's interesting because both sides have woke things. They're upset about oh, yeah You know I brought people about Ukraine the Middle East I was doing jokes about the Middle East and this lady was like next Yeah, I used to have this joke about the second coming project mm-hmm The second do you know what the second coming project was now? It was a thing that they were trying to do remember when dolly the sheep when they first cloned dolly the sheep

Yes, well the idea was that they would take Genetic material from the shroud of Turin and they would clone Jesus Great doing my joke was well Cloning is not an exact science like if you want to do it now like they had to do like 20 dollies before they got one dolly like right real a lot of them come out all fucked up like What happens if you clone Jesus and he comes back with Down syndrome? And so this the whole joke kill him anyway following Jesus around and he's you know wearing a hockey helmet and Turning dog shit into cookies. So did they actually do it? No, they never did.

It's kind of a bullshit thing. But this lady goes, next subject! And I just kept going on with it. I was like, no. Religious people are so weird to me. It's not even a religious thing. It's just some people just, they don't want to hear wild things. They don't want to hear things you're not supposed to say.

They don't hear them all day at work. That's fine. They come out at a comedy club and they want to sort of apply their sensibility. That's fine. But like if you're willing to believe a wild story like that, how about believe this other wild thing could happen too? Well the thing is it's not, it wasn't totally a wild story. I think it was people that were ignorant as to the science that were proposing it because they thought this would be the pathway to bring Jesus back. What is Jesus going to be doing anyway? Well, who knows? I mean, depending upon what that means, right? If that is the pathway, let's just imagine, okay, everybody is thinking, if you're

really religious, you believe that one day we'll have the rapture and Jesus will return. Okay. So if God created us in his image and God instilled in us an insane sense of curiosity that has led people to create things like genetic engineering and cloning, and then we have an understanding of genetic material, not where we are now, but maybe in a future sense, where you could literally get a cotton swab from a person and reproduce them. Sure. That's all they need. Cotton swabs are all they need for 23 and mate, right?

You get a little swab in your mouth and they sell your data to China. But that- I would never do that. I did it. I just want to know what's going on. Those are all things I do. What did you find out mostly Italian some Irish

1% Asian 1.6 percent after you're a 1% Asian 1% Asian 1.6 from Africa Yeah, I would think the Asians probably like gang is conscious. I think it's conscious fuck so many people It's just gotten to so many people so many different places. It's crazy. It's crazy, yeah. That guy fucked everybody. He had, we've talked about it before, but I always forget the number, but there's a certain percentage of people on earth that have his DNA and it's astounding. It's an astounding number. It's pretty cool. Well, he also killed 10% of the population while he was alive.

Yeah, and that's why he was like repopulating them. Well, took a lot of slaves, sex slaves. They called them wives back in those days. It was different. But when they would conquer people, he'd just take their wives, take everybody's wife. And fuck them. I mean, it sounds like the thing you should do. That was his move.

It's not bad. It's interesting that all these years later, and, you know, he's not thought of as a monster. He's thought of as like an historic figure. Yeah. Because of Hitler times 100. He thought of as like a historic figure. Yeah. I mean, he was a Hitler times 100. Sure. He was fucking insane.

Like, they used to light bodies on fire and then use them as catapults. They would launch them onto roofs to burn the roofs down. That's how they would scare people, just take victims. What a crazy way of like doing that. They did so many insane things. One thing they did was when they would capture a city, they would take the generals and all the different people, and they would create a platform and lay all these people out

and then stack the platform on top of them. Then they would all climb on top of the platform and eat. So they would eat lunch while they were crushing these people to death slowly. That's crazy. Were the people dead already? No, no, no, they killed them that way. Yeah, I think that's how he killed royals. That was his move for killing royal people. Like instead of just slaughtering them outright and hacking what they would just kind of crush them. They had a bunch of different ways they would kill people. They would take – when they would capture people, they would use those people at the

front of the line and push them towards their own army. So they would sack a city, capture 100,000 people, take those 100,000 people and put them at the front of the line and press them to go further into the city and those people would just get slaughtered in front of them and they would eventually Kill everybody there. It's crazy. It was so crazy that there's a guy named Dan Carlin. He's got an amazing show called hardcore history He's got this one episode called the wrath of the Khan It's not it's five episodes But there's one series and it's all about Genghis Khan and one of the stories is about the Shah of charisma This Shah is making a he is making a trek to Jin China

to see what's going on over there, like what do you guys got? Talk to the king and see what's happening in your, whoever the fuck's running your city. And as they're going there, the roads were so fucked up with decayed bodies that they had to abandon the roads because all their wagons were getting stuck in the mud of decaying people and they looked in the distance they thought

it was a snow-covered mountain that they were looking at way in the distance it turned out it was a pile of bodies they killed a million people and just stacked them on top of each other in the middle of the town they killed the entire city they killed everyone that's crazy and there's no one to clean up the bodies. They just left the bodies. They didn't give a fuck. They just kept moving It's wild Imagine living back then yeah, I know you know your wheel there is getting stuck in someone's head. I know yeah The people were taking gender studies in class today Just running for their lives

It's crazy. Yeah, I Guess that we get to do stuff that's sometimes so dumb and like people are like just fighting to stay alive Well, it's also interesting that like over time that becomes less and less acceptable Like the horrors of Gaza when we find out about it today, like everyone's outraged. Back then, it wouldn't be the same type of horrors, obviously, because they didn't have missiles, but horrors are just horrors. It's just like... Sure, yeah. You're just killing people. Yeah. So it's way grosser today.

Well, it's because we also have photos and everything of it, right? From like... Back then, they saw it in real life which is way worse you had to be there to see it right right but if you were alive in 1200 let's imagine you and I were alive in 1200 how many people do you think we would have seen get slaughtered with swords and arrows and shit in front of us by now probably a ton become desensitized it becomes a no it becomes a thing like when I first started watching the walking. What is it? Yeah, walking dead walking dead. You're like, I can't believe they just did that and then two episodes in you're like

Oh, this is normal to me. Yeah, it's gotta be kind of been like back then you watch someone's head get blown off And now you're like, oh, yeah, that's just like a Tuesday Yeah people get real accustomed to things and if you're real accustomed to People get real accustomed to things and if you're real accustomed to barbaric living and slaughtering people and lighting them on fire and launching them and catapults onto the thatched roofs of these houses and watch them burn. Right, you can't imagine not doing that if that's all you say. That's what you do. That's what we do.

That's just what we do. Yeah, they didn't wash, they wore their clothes until they rotted off of their skin. Yeah, I mean I think if they they're catapulting dead bodies, it's like, who cares what you're wearing? Sometimes they just lived off the blood of their horses. They would just drink the horse's blood. And that's what they sustain themselves with. But then you just need your horse to travel.

Yeah, a horse keeps eating. You don't kill him. You just cut a little nick in their neck. And you just suck a horse's blood? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's what they would do. They would take it and put it in a jug and drink it. You really could survive if you were just

somewhere by yourself. Yeah, you could. You. I don't think I could, but I think you could survive. I would need stuff. See, the thing about- You need a horse. You need stuff.

You need physical things. You need shelter and knives, and you need something you can start a fire with. You need something you start a fire with, you need something that you can hunt with. Sure, but if I had that same stuff, I would be dead and you would thrive. I wouldn't thrive. You would survive.

For a little while. I didn't know you could drink horse's blood. Yeah, but you gotta keep that horse alive, then the horse is gonna die. The horse is eating dead people. The horses don't eat meat. They don't? No.

They do occasionally eat birds. What if they're starving? They won't eat like a person? No. No, they're not interested in rotting bodies. They're herbivores. But they do occasionally eat birds. I'm learning so much.

There's this really fucked up video of this horse following this bird, or it's a cow following this bird around. I've seen horses do it too where they found like a ground nesting bird and they just eat it and the mother bird's like flying at them, pecking at them like shut the fuck up and eat your baby. At least she tried. Deer do it all the time. Deer do it, it's so bad. Like they had this net that they used

to catch birds and the deer found the birds in the net. And so the deer would just go up to the net and feast like a grapevine. Right, like a buffet. Eat all these birds. And that's when we started understanding that if a deer catches a bird, slip it, and they just eat them.

Yeah, why wouldn't you? Because they eat plants. Yeah, but a bird is kind of like caviar to them, probably. Probably. They're like, mm, delicious. Yeah, but like a bird is kind of like caviar to them, probably. Probably. They're like, mm, delish. Yes. A little foie gras. I don't mind if I do.

Yeah. Have you ever seen cows eat birds? No. Find a video of cows eating birds. I've only seen cows eat grass. Yeah, they eat birds. It disturbs the shit out of people who are like peaceful. They're like, you know, I think the less suffering

we have, the better. Butows don't give a fuck. But also a bird can fly away. It's kind of their fault. Well, not babies. Survival of the fittest. You're dead. It is. You're now dead. It's probably nature's way of keeping

baby birds overwhelming us. Why wouldn't you put your bird desk higher? It's on the mom. Look at this. Look at this cow. Finally a little chick. Oh yeah, he's going right into his mouth. Yep. Yep.

Chomp, chomp, chomp. Oh yum, yum, yum. It's so weird that they decide that they want to eat that. Just weird. It's weird that they just decide. Look at the little kid. Right, why wouldn't you just eat the kid? Yeah.

If you're gonna eat that bird. Kid comes with people, people have guns. They figure it out after a while. You think so? They know the guns are coming? They know that people can kill them. I definitely think they know that people are in control. I don't think they feel a sense of power

when they're gonna attack the kid. Also, you can't eat that kid in one gulp. Right, people are gonna know. Right. Right. You could just eat it in one gulp. Yeah, you could just swallow the kid. Who knows what happened to the kid? I don't know what happened to the kid.

She says I didn't eat nothing. I'll help you look. Yeah. Let's all look. You have a shoe in your mouth. I'll help you look. Well, that was a legitimate concern for people hundreds of years ago.

Your kid would get eaten. Sure. If he was out in the yard, wolves would eat him. I mean, that's like the big bad wolf. That's what all that shit was. Little red rotting wolf. Imagine like your kid survives cholera, and then it just gets eaten.

Ugh. Ugh. I can't believe that. Right, like that's not even that long ago that people were dying of cholera How many years you think that was who knows I mean how many different fucking diseases killed people just because of poor sanitation? That's what a lot of that stuff came from sure a lot of that stuff came from poor sanitation We just think about how many people who were just dying in These cities because of the plague because'd throw their shit out the windows.

And there'd be rats and bugs. Yeah, I think I would learn pretty quickly if I threw my shit out the window once that, like, that's not great. I think you would think that, but there's people in India that shit in the street to this day. I mean, I watched a video where there's, like, a parade

and they're just throwing shit. Like, that's part of the parade that doesn't is that an India yes? Yes, it's how shit's like different kind of shit. It's gross. It's not like human shit Anyone's mixing human shit in at this dung festival. Yeah, but they're not I bet they're like hey, let's let's spice it up Yeah, but it's not as clean as you think maybe oh Jesus Christ just throwing at each other Imagine like this is what you sign up for and they're all smiling. I don't get the appeal You know maybe how like you know you if you eat a lot of sugar you get that candida

And maybe if you play with shit enough you get that shit bacteria I mean their teeth look so white because they're covered in shit. They're just covered in shit. Guys, shower up. This is ridiculous. We have to deal with the infections from the cow dung. How are they not? What is going on here? We won't get any infections from the cow dung, he says. Wait, what does he say? What was his statement? Yeah, because of the coronavirus and other viruses. But back it up before that. Okay, here. Heaps of cow dung are brought in one place. We all play in it. We have had to deal with the coronavirus and other viruses.

So we believe we won't get any infections from the cow dung. I mean, you see this and then you're like, you know what, it's not that bad that we're doing unboxing videos. I mean, these are kind of these guys are basically Content creators they are content creators, but they don't know that They don't know that right we're watching these but I mean Can you imagine just being in there and just throwing shit at some how do they not know now though? It seems like I don't think that's a whole video either. Do you see when?

I don't think that's an old video either. Do you see when Like they give Amazon tribes starlink and they give them phones at Amazon. I just thought of Amazon like that. I order stuff. Oh, yeah Not the other one. I just want regular Amazon that brings I order stuff from Amazon It's like a three dollar thing and somebody's driving to my house and dropping off like Whatever it is floss. They figured it out out I never buys toothbrushes from the fucking store. I just I know click a link BAM But it's like so I'm spending such a little money for stuff that someone's driving to my house to drop it off eventually It's just gonna be drones. I mean Drop it off at your head drop it off at your house

And then there's people that's, those are some of the grossest people, people that steal people's packages. Especially during the holidays. People are stealing. You don't even know what's in there. But that's the fun you get in, you're like, this could be a TV,

this could be an iPhone, it could also just be toothbrushes. There's so many funny videos of people getting busted. I've seen them, yeah. People just stealing videos for like like Christmas if you live in a neighborhood where someone steals your packages that's such a shitty feeling There's fucking people in your neighborhood that are clocking what's getting dropped off at your house Yeah, Chris Rock used to have a bit about Putting if you bought a new TV You had to be careful putting the box out on the street in the garbage because people know you have a new TV

They know you have a new TV, yeah And they want to break in your house and steal your TV I mean now TVs are like worth nothing They're worth nothing TVs, I remember in 1994 when I first moved here I got a big TV for the first time It was fucking big, it was like this big 1994 was a great year It was like 24 inches

But it was like, you had to pick it up. Like it was a giant ass TV. Like it had a whole back to it. Yeah, it was humongous. And then it was one of those years, like 94, 95, they came out with a plasma TV and it was $20,000. And it was like 40 inches and flat. And because it was flat, it looked like shit,

it didn't even look good. Because it was 40 inches and flat it was like $20,000 I remember thinking that is the dumbest thing like I'm paying $20,000 for this space behind the TV Yeah, I don't care about their space behind the TV. Yeah, there's like six feet between the TV and the wall What do I give a fuck? I know there's an extra 12 inches of TV behind it. What are you stupid? You're gonna pay $20,000 because it's flat. I guess people want to hang it on the wall It was a thing to let people know you had money. Yeah, you had a plasma TV, right? So you can find a plasma TV from

1995 ish they looked like shit. I think it was must have been 96 because that was when I first bought a house They looked like shit and they were $20,000 like this is crazy. They were so heavy those big TVs Oh giant might not have been 20 grand I might be exaggerating but it had to be like eight or nine and this was like again 95 ish how much did they cost back then? I remember the that TV right there the silver one one where it comes with its own stand kind of. Oh yeah, yeah that one.

That's when you go over to the person's house. That person has the Super Bowl party. Yeah, you gotta have friends help you carry that in. So, it was Fujitsu in 95. Fujitsu introduced the first 42 inch and it was how much money? I forget what it says right here. Price. No, I had it right there. Sample price for the 42-inch Jeep was

1,000, or 1 million yen, but Fujitsu aimed to sell it for about 500,000 yen per unit. What is that in dollars? What's 1 million yen in dollars? It's like 15,000. 6,000. So 6,500 bucks. That's like 15,000. 6,000. So 6,500 bucks. That's still a lot of money. Still a lot of money. So it wasn't 20 grand, I exaggerated.

That's a lot of money. But it was just, the regular TV was like 100. Like, how much is a regular TV? It wasn't that much money. But if you had that, you were the man. Like, oh, Bobby must be doing really well in Hollywood. Look at this. He has a flat-screen television oh ten grand by the year 2000 prices had dropped to ten

grand oh prices had dropped to ten grand so maybe what they start at hmm interesting see if it says up there oh 14 15,000 okay one of the first flat plasma TVs I think it was a Phillips that I saw. It was available at four Sears locations in the U.S. for 15 grand. Is there Sears anymore? I don't know. I haven't seen a Sears forever. I remember when I was like a kid, I got like a Sears credit card and I just bought like my ex-boyfriend at the time, like rims for his car.

And that's what you just spend your money on. I don't even. I Sears is almost like the the Bernstein Bears effect like the fact he said Sears I was like oh that's a thing I got I don't think it is anymore. But how could that not be a thing like Sears was huge. I still have a website. Really? Do they have any locations? There's no locations though? It's giving me a store locator but it's not showing me on that. But that's a weird one like Sears like that had left my memory until this and then you saying it likes even though I said

Sears available in your head then you started going sears oh I remember Sears and then I was like I remember Sears do you remember nobody beats the Wiz do remember yes yes do you remember crazy Eddie's? Yes, crazy Eddie was actually crazy. Yeah turns out nine left. Oh, wow one in Puerto Rico eight on the mainland interesting We should take a road trip just to go to a Sears. We should go to one in Puerto Rico We should bring Tony That'd be amazing.

First of all, Puerto Ricans were not upset by that. I mean, I'm sure some were, but my friends were like, I'm still voting for Trump. Puerto Ricans can take a joke. They are some of the best shit talkers on Earth. Absolutely. It's common in Puerto Rican communities just have fun and joke.

Absolutely. It's not a super sensitive neighborhood. It's a super sensitive ethnic neighborhood. I was a super sensitive Ethnic group no, but most people didn't care. They're like, I don't care. It was a stupid ding to do it there But it turned him into a legend As long as Trump won if Trump didn't win we're gonna have to hide him for real. Yeah, I was gonna hide him I was gonna move him to Thailand or something to Thailand. Yeah, he he's gotta get out of the United States for a while. For how long though? A while, depending on how bad sideways things go.

If Kamala Harris becomes president of the deep state takeover and they completely censor all social media, remove everybody's guns, force vaccinations on all your babies, everybody gets a sex change. Who knows? And he's just in Thailand? And he's in Thailand. With lady boys?

Just drinking his life away because you can't believe he fucked it up for one shitty laugh You know there were stories that were ready to be published if Trump lost blaming it on Tony that's crazy Yeah, yeah blaming it on that one joke in Madison Square Garden where the facts is and Tony will tell you Actually, Puerto Ricans voted 26% more for Trump, which is true. They probably did. Than ever before, yeah.

Well, people were fucking fed up. People were fed up. I didn't even vote. None of this makes any sense. I mean, I think honestly, most people right now, their main concern is like, they can't even afford groceries. Exactly.

So they're like, whoever I think is gonna help me with that. Listen, I don't know what is true or not true, but like people who are like, I can't afford afford groceries. Exactly. So they're like, whoever I think is going to help me with that. Listen, I don't know what is true or not true, but people who are like, I can't afford to feed my kids. It is so crazy. I was watching this guy on MSNBC, and he was dismissing that in terms of like, when people think a certain way, like people have like,

if they're a leftist or if they're a fundamentalist Christian, they have one thing in common. And that thing that they have in common is they want everyone to think like them. Sure. And this guy was saying that about like young people listening to podcasts and they're getting air quotes, radicalized, and that we need something that can do this from a feminist perspective and teach young men feminism.

The whole thing was so strange, but one of the things he said that was the most strange, he said instead of like these minor grievances like the price of eggs or someone is teaching you something, your kids something in history that you don't agree with, instead of those minor things, like what's major then, man? Food for kids, food for your family. History is just history. And in history, well you know he said something you don't agree with. Like what I don't know what that means. But education is primary. It's one of the most important things for kids. For the view of the world they have to be

correctly informed. It really helps if you have a good education. Sure. And then if you have food, if you can afford eggs, that really fucking helps. And so this idea that these are minor issues, and the important issue is connecting men to feminism. Listen, you can do that if you want, but most people right now are like, I can't afford to pay for groceries for my kids.

I don't even have kids, but people are like, I can't afford to buy groceries. People are making more, but people are like, I can't afford to buy groceries. Of course, but people are- People are making more money now, or like, I can't save any money. Yes, everything's more expensive. People are fucking out of touch. I'm clearly out of touch, clearly.

But I remember when I was poor. I understand it, I really do. And I know what the fuck is going on. And I know people are saying, hey, this isn't a minor deal. This is one of the biggest deals. You guys fucked up the economy, and you're gaslighting everybody and telling everybody you didn't.

You guys have spent billions of dollars on a war that nobody agrees with, hundreds of billions, and you're gaslighting us. Yeah, I just also like these teachers that are just like spending all their own money for supplies. It's like, what are you doing? Crazy.

Why do teachers not have supplies for kids? Right. And you're right. They are the future generation. So if they don't have food and they're not like being instructed and learning stuff, and you have these schools where there's so many kids to one teacher.

The United States is like someone who owes you money, and they say they don't have it, and they keep buying cars. Right. That's what it's like. Kind of. It's like, how did you have the money to spend all this money on another country when how did you have the money to spend all this money on another country when you don't have any money to spend on the education.

I mean homelessness the veterans. Let's just pick education. Like how much could they fix education with a hundred seventy five billion dollars. You shouldn't have a teacher that needs to buy supplies. Right. Imagine this. Imagine if companies were incentivized. What if they got government grants based on how well the kids performed in the school districts? That would be great. Yeah.

Literally make it like Halliburton for schools. Halliburton, they blew up Iraq. Halliburton comes in and cleans everything up. Have something that profits off these places getting better. And the better they do in terms of dropping in crime, education rates, graduation rates, college rates, everybody gets more money. Figure that out. I mean they just want more money for prisons. They do that too. That's true. If you don't spend on education then you could just have these people have to turn to crime and put them in prisons and that's how you'll

get money. There's a bunch of things they did in the 80s that still fuck with us today and that's one of them. That's a big one Then the 80s must have been so wild because there's no computers and it's just like TV in the newspaper and Everyone's running wild and Reagan's the president so nobody thinks anything's real Fucking movie stars the president JFK's dead nobody still understands that wasn't Reagan's was Reagan's wife the one that was called the throat goat

allegedly Yes, give her her flowers. I think she is the well I mean You could bestow that upon someone to besmirch their memory you could do that It's hard to say is that necessarily a bad but also the kind of gal that can capture up a president Probably knows how to get things done. Yeah. Yeah, that's not necessarily a bad thing? But also the kind of gal that can capture up a president probably knows how to get things done. Yeah. Yeah. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Good for her. I think it's a good thing. Yeah. It's a I mean every guy would agree. Sure. Yeah. It's a good skill for a lady to have. Then there's a problem. How did you learn that? Unless you're a savant. First dick you suck. You're just like wow.

Somebody had to just figure that out. They were like, let's... They were probably those classes back in the Roman days. You think so? Oh, yeah. Probably guys showing each other how to suck each other off. Everybody was blowing everybody back then. They're just, you know, throwing bodies on fire,

and then also there's throat goat classes. Imagine what their balls smelled like back then. Disgusting. I can't even imagine it. Jesus Christ. You'd probably put shit on their balls, so you couldn't smell what their actual balls smelled Christ. You'd probably put shit on their balls Like I'd rather smell straight That has to be the worst mouth you ever see how they wipe their asses where in the Roman times Yeah, they would take a sponge that was on a stick. It was a communal sponge. Why did I just see this on like Instagram?

Yeah, it's like just I think I'm I think I'm all set. I went to Pompeii It was a communal sponge. Why did I just see this on Instagram or something? Yeah, it's like just, I think I'm all set. I went to Pompeii and I took my family there a few years ago. It's really interesting, because these people died like instantaneously. And then they've sort of uncovered a lot of it. And one of the things that they uncovered was like this communal like shithouse.

So it's just like these holes around this, like a horseshoe pattern it's just like these holes around this like a horseshoe pattern yeah like that so these holes these dudes just sit there and just shot into the ground so it's like kind of a toilet kind of idea but I mean I don't think there's any water and there's the sponge that's the sponge look at the word they have a name for it. Xylospongium. How often did they change the sponge? They couldn't change it enough. Even if you had your own sponge.

It's not enough, but like a month? You're dunking into that fucking... Okay, hold on a second. Academics disagree to its exact use about which the primary sources are vague. It has traditionally been assumed that a type of shared anal hygiene utensil used to wipe after defecating and the sponge is cleaned in vinegar or water sometimes salt water other recent research suggests it was most likely a toilet brush yeah I mean they're probably cleaning a toilet and also your asshole yeah maybe it was all those things middle of the first century Roman philosopher Seneca the younger reported and also your asshole. Yeah, maybe it was all those things. Blah!

Middle of the first century, Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger reported that a Germanic gladiator died by suicide with a sponge on a stick. According to Seneca, the gladiator hid himself in the latrine of an amphitheater and pushed the wooden stick deep into his throat. Yo! Did he take that sponge off first? No, he wanted to die that way. He wanted to suffocate himself. That's how much he didn't want to fight in the gladiator

wars. He also shit-stick. It means a thin stake or stick used instead of toilet paper for anal hygiene and was a historical item of material culture introduced through Chinese Buddhism and Japanese Buddhism. A well-known example is... I'm not even going to try to say that word. Where'd it go? Oh. A well-known example, a dry shit stick from the Chan Zen... I'm not going to say that word... in which a monk asked, what what is Buddha and master Yun Min Unmon answered a dry shit stick

Buddha is a dry shit stick because everybody got a shit stick that had everybody else's shit already on it You just smear an extra shit on your butt. It's like I'll just have my own shit Yeah, you're dunking it in the water, but how clean is it really get and then it's just soaked in shit water You taking that and you're wiping your own asshole with it. I am glad that I was not born during that time. What do you think people in the future gonna be saying about this time though? What are they gonna be most shocked that we did that was so stupid? Hmm. I don't know. Because if we're looking back at Pompeii, what was Pompeii? What year did that go down? It was like 67. 67 AD. Yeah. It's pretty wild when you're there. It's weird because you get to see some of the

bodies they preserved that are just completely frozen in place. Like the ash overwhelmed them and they're just like, like almost like a little stone statue. 79 AD. Can you show me some of the photos of the Pompeii victims so there's like people that are like just piled on top of each other like that's it like right there they just were overwhelmed by ash just volcanic ash the volcano the heat and the gases just killed everybody like almost instantly. Just completely overran the town. It's pretty insane. Because it's just weird that people don't know that. Like when they're building these cities, they don't know that that can happen.

Like, look at that. I mean, I wouldn't know that that can happen. Look, look at that. I mean, I wouldn't know that that can happen. No, no one knew back then. But I mean, we know now. Look, look at that. That's so crazy. That's what it looks like. I mean, that's a human being that was just literally turned into a statue in place. Fuck.

There was one where these two guys were embracing and someone tried to say that it was perhaps they were lovers and someone on Twitter was a very funny comment They're like Jesus Christ imagine dying in front of your friend then everybody finds a like oh I knew he was gay Imagine like jerking off right you die in the middle of it. Yeah And you just fucking now frozen in time like that ever at least nobody knows who you are that's true Yeah, those are the guys. I don't know. Those people, yeah. That looks, that's on the way down.

Yeah. Fucked up way to go. Instantaneously. Somebody's like, that's Bob and Tom. When I was a kid, Mount St. Helens blew up. What year was that, Jamie? Mount St. Helens was in the Pacific Northwest, and it was a big deal.

Because it was an actual real volcano thatens was in the Pacific Northwest and it was a big deal because it was an actual real volcano that killed people in the United States. And we were like, Whoa, like what? I thought volcanoes were like in other countries. 1980. So I was not even in high school. Yeah. That was, that was a crazy one. How many people died from mountain elks? 57. Yeah. They knew it was an active volcano, but they didn't think... And they still went? But how come people live on the side of active volcanoes? Like in Hawaii, there's a bunch of people that live on the side of an active volcano.

When I was in Hawaii, I think there was one of the volcanoes that did go off. Yeah. It happened when I was there too At the Big Island the big island is very active. There's crazy film Overcoming this Mustang have you ever seen it now? There's a Mustang parked in front of the street and the lava is coming from this eruption and it just slowly Consumes the street and eats this car Right in front of his dude's house. Like these people have been living there,

chilling their whole life, coming home from school. Hi mom, I'm home. Does your insurance cover that? Probably not. They try to cover as little as possible. Oh, I know. If you live on the side of an active volcano, like. But it's like, hey, I'm gonna get volcano insurance.

Yeah, that's up to you, player. But I want to have my expensive car. Yeah, I had a friend who, he had some crazy situation. I think he had like flood insurance, but he didn't have damage from water from a hurricane insurance. So like your roof can get destroyed from a hurricane, and you don't have insurance for that, but you have insurance if like your pipes break. Like you got fucked in some sort of a weird loophole.

What's weird too with stuff like that, anytime it's like an adjuster, if you get the right adjuster, they can do whatever you want. But you have to get an adjuster who's gonna do it. Like I used to call and do like appeals for health insurance stuff. And if you kind of sweet talk someone,

they might just put it through for you. You have to just keep calling back until you get an adjuster that's gonna give you what you want. Or you have to charm them in person. Yes. Yeah. That's what, cause they're just regular people. Right. And they could decide.

Absolutely. They hold so much power sometimes. That's a crazy power to have. Right. Tell a person you can get your house fixed. Right. Or like your car's totaled and we're going to pay for it, or we're not. Yeah, or you're going to have a shaky ass car for the rest of your life as you take it on the highway.

You ever had a car that's fixed that really probably shouldn't have been fixed? I mean, my first car I had was like a Ford Tempo. And I remember the steering wheel like came off in my lap as I was driving it. And I was just like, picked it up and just kept driving. He put it back on. Oh, I should not have been driving that car. Oh, my God.

When you're a kid and you buy shit boxes, like the chances of those things just completely falling apart as you're driving are so high. My dad also would just like want to paint a car. So he would just like start painting a car and prime it like half of it. And then he would give up. So we'd have like a two colored car as a child. It's like so embarrassing. Yeah. If you have a poor car.

Oh, yeah. We had poor cars. Yeah. Poor cars all the time. And then my mom got into a car accident and we got a car with that money. Oh, the Ford Tem tempo was like five grand. Mm-hmm. I had like bright red pleather inside Bright red pleather. I remember yeah, I was driving that car me my friends on the highway and I'm like, oh the steering wheel Just came down, but it's still connected. It's like just pick it up and like make the turn Oh, so like the thing that adjust the steering wheel dropped off I don't know. It just like fell in my lap when I was driving and I just picked it

up and like still drove it. Jesus Christ. There's a lot of those cars out there. That's why we need inspections, Adrienne. My dad though knew a guy who would just keep passing that car. Yeah. Those guys are a problem. Yeah but that's what I'm saying it's like the right it's a person that's like not an adjuster, but like if you know them, they'll do it for you. Yeah. My friend was telling me about that for muscle cars in Los Angeles. So there's a place you can go in like the hood and this guy will completely pass like

any car. I was like, that sounds like an FBI sting. Yeah. But I mean, there's so many things like that. Yeah. Well, especially in New York. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, New York is all about knowing a guy.

Well, about knowing a guy. It's all about like what you can get away with. Yeah. New York City is disgusting. And I've lived there my whole life. I hate it, but I can't imagine like living anywhere permanently for the rest of my life. What do you think is going to be the hardest adjustment about moving here? I don't know. I'm not sure. I mean, I can't live here during the summer. I can't do it like flying brooches.

Whatever those things are, I just can't. I'm out. Jamie, do you experience a lot of flying brooches? I just see them out. Like, it was like 105 degrees here when I came last June with Ari. And it was just like, we were in his house. He got a really nice Airbnb. He probably brought them with him.

There were a lot of crickets this year, but I don't think that's different. I mean, I was in the room in the bathroom, and there was one like this big. A roach. Maybe they're cicadas, whatever they're called. Oh yeah, cicadas are very different than roaches. They look like roaches.

People eat them. Sure, people eat people like Like you could eat whatever you want no, but I mean it's like a delicacy like people enjoy it sure No, like I know a lot of I know a guy who does it god bless That's not for me my friend Ryan Callahan. He had a recipe of how to cook cicadas Big roaches though? They're like a bug. Anyway, I go to get Ari to kill it, and he's like, oh, it just flew.

I'm like, what? That is like a new fear unlocked. It flew? It probably was a cicada. It probably wasn't a roach. It might not have been a roach, but like, forget it. That's what a cicada looks like. I can't.

Fucking cool. They're fucking cool. See if you find cicada recipes See if you can find Ryan Callahan's cicada recipe my friend Ryan He would cook them with like teriyaki sauce and bake them Yeah, apparently look I've gone to Mexico before and it's certain resorts in Mexico. They'll serve you like fried crickets sure Have you seen that I've heard about it. Yeah. Fried crickets are grasshoppers. I forget which one. But they're good. They taste good. They're probably

crunchy. Yeah, crunchy and it was kind of salty. It's pretty good. It's actually not bad for you. Like, legitimately. It's protein, right? Yeah. It's the same kind of animal protein that you get from a lot of different things. But protein from cicadas is apparently particularly good. it's like they're because they're big I guess probably a lot of protein those little fuckers I mean I just remember being out like outside on like a bar here and they were just that's all this fuse the bugs the heats not great you can handle the heat I can handle the heat over those bugs just the bugs I don't run

into they fly Adrian I'm telling you you're hanging out in the wrong spots. I'll show you where to go with the bugs. Sure maybe I'm in the poor places but like the bugs are just I can't deal with the flying of them. Just don't go where the bugs are. It's not that big of a deal. The mosquitoes are a pain in the ass sometimes. I don't care about that. I mean yeah it's not great but like those big things I can't. Like Lady Bird Lake if you go around there you're gonna just kind of be a lot of mosquitoes. They all over the fucking place, but that's also what the bats keep in check. Have you seen the bat? Emergence before no, it's fucking cool shit. That's we're actually pretty cute. Well, there's a there's the bridge, right? This is South Congress grid bridge and if you go by the South Congress bridge There's people every night that are waiting for the bats to leave because millions of bats leave So as billions of critters have emerged for seven years, so is this rhyme? are waiting for the bats to leave because millions of bats leave so as billions of critters have emerged for seven years so is this Ryan okay so you showing so you peel off the skin of these little fuckers that's not Ryan Callahan I don't know who that guy is okay but so this guy's just showing how

you cook cicadas so he's basically taking away the outside area and he made a cicada taco for this kid and this lady and they're eating it with a hmm. She said she's freaking out. Whatever. She said it's not bad. What was I just talking about before that though? We're moving on to something else. Oh, what I'll miss about being in being here as opposed to New York

Yeah, we talked about oh, oh the bats. That's what we're talking about. Yeah show the Bats emerging from the South Congress Bridge. It's really crazy I've seen I've only done it once where I went out there like to say it took a million months It's like the sky fills with bats and they kill all the fucking mosquitoes. They're death. Why are they not eating this? Look at this also. That's pretty cool though. Yeah, I've never seen the photos of it. It's pretty badass I've seen it live like that and and if you go under that bridge you hear them here Little flying rats clinging to the roof. What else do they eat? They can't eat just mosquitoes. Mosquito killers. They keep the mosquitoes in check They probably eat a bunch of bugs

I'm sure they don't only dine on mosquitoes, but they're a significant factor in keeping the mosquito population down allegedly That's what I read. It's fine. That's true. I think it's true though. Mm-hmm. I think it's true I think that's one of the main things He lives in I guess the country and he's like trying to put up those places where bats will come to Eat the mosquitoes like I guess you put those little bat houses or whatever Hmm, but pheromones in them I guess and he can't get them to come there because he has a lot of mosquitoes He lives by a lake Yeah, I bet bats it's hard to get them to move in a new hair areas

You know because I bet wherever bats live if they live by a lake There's probably plenty of bugs like why would they take a risk to go somewhere where they're not sure if resources exist? I mean, they could just fly. Right, but they live under this bridge and they've been on this bridge forever. Well, yeah, I don't think he's gonna get these bats. But you know what I'm saying?

Like, when bats find a spot that works, they're not migratory. Right, they're just gonna stay there. Yeah, they're just gonna stay there. So to get them to go to a new spot, he's probably gonna have to bring bats. We actually had a just going to stay there. So to get them to go to a new spot, he's probably going to have to bring bats. We actually had a bat expert on the podcast. Do you know what I need?

I need an expert for pantry moths. We'll try to find you one. I mean, I have pantry moths for the last three months, and I can't get rid of them. They do migrate. Where do they go? They migrate seasonally, flying south for the winter, and then returning north in the spring

Interesting. Yeah, that's how I heard about it. There's there's a bunch more in Houston, right? So they probably because Houston doesn't get as cold probably but they probably have like an established range is what my point is It's like bringing them to a new range like to your friend's place It's right difficult because there's not a history of them being there, but I wonder if who's that dude's name? What does it say it says they eat between ten thousand and thirty thousand pounds of insects including mosquitoes and Every night on their nightly flights and harmful agricultural pests they got so Austin's bats are they're fucking huge They really they come in handy But fuck what was I? Asking about other than that Merlin Tuttle asking about other than that? Merlin Tuttle. Yes, that's

his name. Merlin Tuttle. So he is a bat expert and he lives in Austin as well. Fascinating dude. He's been studying bats his whole life. He's a scientist. Is there still new stuff to find out about bats? Sure. Yeah. I mean, bats carry a lot of weird diseases. That's one thing. Mm-hmm. That makes sense. Because they're eating mosquitoes. There's crossover diseases. The coronavirus is essentially was a bat disease

that they took and fucked with and made it vulnerable for humans. So they've done a lot of work with bats and diseases. One of the craziest stories, though, there's these two doctors or two scientists rather and they They were in Africa and they decided to set up Photography to film these bats as they were flying out of the cave because just certain cave in Africa that has like some fucking insane number of bats is just filled with. And when these bats flew out, they shit. So

these guys are on the ground in front of the Batcave filming. And they didn't take into account they're going to be covered in bat shit. Just millions and millions of bats shitting in their face. And they died. They died of some crazy hemorrhagic virus that just raged through their system. If you imagine you are a human being and you're essentially intravenously taking in bat shit into your system, it's going in your eyeballs, it's going in your mouth, it's going through your mouth. What a crazy turn of events. It's going through the blood brain barrier. The bat shit's getting into your blood and it's circulating through your whole body.

And you just develop a horrible hemorrhagic virus. So you can't play in that shit like you can play in cow shit. No, I don't think so. I think, well, bats eat a lot of living organisms, unlike cows. He's turning these crocodiles orange. Bat poop has turned these African cave crocodiles orange. I mean, that orange crocodile looks pretty cool.

That's pretty dope. That's a pretty dope-looking crocodile. I'd like a pair of boots. Yeah, no shit, right? Like, natural? Nice. Natural orange crocodile from bat poop? You know, the bat guano is a very potent fertilizer, right? Because bat guano has like,

I think it has high levels of nitrogen. I think that comes from them eating all the insects so that like there used to be wars over bat shit. And that's where the term bat shit crazy comes from. I did not know that. comes from. Yeah guano was like a very expensive commodity because people needed it to grow crops so if you could get... That's crazy. Yeah bat guano is apparently very potent fertilizer. They have a 4,300 year old poop core in a Jamaican cave that they've been studying. What? 5,000 different species of bats have been shitting on for... Jesus Christ! Oh my god! Depositive into... Wow! Sequential layers by

generations of bats for over 4,300 years and it's two meters tall. That is so crazy. Largely undistur, and holds information about changes in climate and how the bats' food sources shifted over the millennia. Wow! Magic owner Jamaica for spring break, and that's where you go. That is so crazy. That's so nuts.

Yeah, I know. I'm trying to find a picture of it, but I don't see it. You know what I'm really fascinated with is things that existed like only in myth, but that every culture has like dragons. Like I had this guy Forest Galant, he's a wildlife biologist and he thinks that there's a real possibility that dragons were an actual thing. And that when they have lived like when dinosaurs were around? No, no, they lived alongside humans.

That's why there's all these records and all these different cultures. And, you know, there's Chinese culture has dragons. Japanese culture has dragons. Ancient Europeans have dragons like dragon as a root, not a fire breathing. That seems to be bullshit. But maybe even kind of like like what would their purpose be? Well, they're probably like a crocodile that flies There was probably like more than one kind of really dangerous

Reptile that they called dragons like Komodo dragon, right? Giant lizard they called a dragon right crocodiles dragons The question is whether or not one of them actually flew. Because we know that pterodactyls were a real thing. And if pterodactyls. I mean, they probably were real then. Nah. I think it's probably something like that.

Some kind of enormous bird type creature. I only want a dragon if it's going to just have fire come out of its mouth. All the time. That's the only kind of dragon I want. Stick it on your enemies. Yes. Shut the fuck up.

You know? Send it to your house. Like when you're in Game of Thrones and that lady's standing there and then you see the dragon's head slowly emerge behind her. I never watch Game of Thrones. I know.

How dare you. I know. It's so good. I keep trying to get into it and I can't. The new one is, meh. No, but I mean the old one. The new one's two seasons in and the old one is so good It's so good makes you want a dragon the lady who veneer was her name venares had the dragons so her name I

Have no you didn't watch it either Could you not get into it? It's too busy playing video games and golf Bring me your bring me your what do you mean a reality bring me your puppy right now? Bring me Carl I don't like fantasy that kind I don't know like sci-fi stuff a little more. Have you seen three body problem? No, I bet it was on my list to watch it and dude It's a good really good really by the guys who made games of Thrones or the gals or non-binary folks

Whoever the fuck it is whoever made it whoever made Game of Thrones Some that's a thing that you repeat without looking any further I don't know what producers or whatever but the point is like it is a really really good show like really fun and science fiction and My wife was not even into science fiction. She loves it. I gotta check it out. I really want Carl. Little Carl. Isn't he adorable? He's so cute. Yeah, he's gotta rest up for Marshall

in about 15, 20 minutes. He's gonna meet Marshall again. Marshall is just happy right now. Oh yeah, he's happy when Carl's nowhere near him. He's like, Carl, please, I can't. Especially if he doesn't have a toy where they could play Tiger War. If they could play Tiger War, it's cool.

But Carl is just a psycho. Oh, yeah. As soon as I came in, he was just biting my sneaker. Yeah. He just wants to fight. He wants to play. He's still so young, though. Yeah, he's a little baby.

But he's also a crazy dog. He's nuts. He's like a little torpedo. He launches himself through the air at Marshall. Yeah. Like, if he was a person, he'd be a dictator. He's nuts. He'd be a gladiator. He'd be one of those dudes fighting in Rome. Yeah, he'd be one of them dudes fighting. He'd be like that. He wouldn't be the guy that killed himself with the shit sponge.

No, no way. He'd be killing people with the shit sponge. Just plunging it right in their throat. But you imagine if like today was the lion fight, you're like, I don't't want to do this I'd rather choke to death on a shit stick Yeah, I think you're like I'm just gonna off myself imagine like that's all you have to kill yourself is a shit stick I Mean how bad your life does suck to take this fucking sponge covered in other people's shit And just bypass your gag instincts and stuff it down your hole until you die. Imagine you don't die right away either. You definitely don't die right away.

You're just like ingesting those fumes. Yeah, you're growing up in the middle of killing yourself by stuffing it in your neck. I think someone thought that would kill them and they just tried smelling it until they died and it didn't work. Nah, they're probably used to that kind of smell It's like smelling salt. I bet that shit wakes you right up. You want some no, I used to work in a place that I'll do it, but I'm not gonna do it that close. Oh That's what people do with the shit stick that oh my god. That was the biggest one I ever got ever oh My god, I thought it lost a little bit of potency from the other day

Yo, I get delayed reactions. Yeah, yeah that one hit me harder than Close to me It's like chlorine, but the most chlorine so I worked at a place that no no Abortions that was like an OB-GYN and they used that stuff to like wake people up. Oh fun. Eugh, God, that is so bad. Good to dick it though, you wanna try it again, don't you?

No, I don't. You don't, you sure? I'm not a gambler. I'll give you a couple minutes. I'm not a gambler. Doesn't matter. I'll do it from further away. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Let's see how close I can get.

Let's do it again. Let's see how close I can get. It's one of those things where everybody does it and they're like, what the fuck? That was so bad. Let me try it again. Let me try it again. Everybody wants to try it again.

That's brutal. Yeah, it's rough. It's rough stuff. What do they use that for besides? Weight lifters. Oh, if they get knocked out. No, no, no. They take it right before they power lift.

Why? Apparently, I don't know the actual science. Maybe Jamie can look it up. The idea, I think, that is it shocks your system. It shocks your system. It shocks your system. It shocks your system. It shocks your system. It shocks your system. It shocks your system. It shocks your system. before they power lift why it's like apparently I don't know the actual

science maybe Jamie can look it up the idea I think that is it shocks your system like just jolts everything alive and then you're like fucking raw you can live more weights allegedly that's crazy because I didn't even have it that close to my face they used to use it with boxers but they made it illegal they would put it under a boxers nose to wake them up right to wake them up Yeah, if they got like rocked and hurt they would snap them back. I Don't even know if it works What is that?

Legal for them. Yeah, they're using the smaller versions, but I can't boxers use it then I don't know that they can't I don't think they can I think smelling salts are illegal in between rounds I think it actually was an issue that somebody brought up because I Think someone was asking why someone it was one of the fight men in the UFC one of the excuse me one of the cut Men in the UFC was holding someone's nose open after they got rocks like with his finger But it was just to create the more airway Because they can call it they can mask more serious injuries and cause further harm.

Right, right, right. That's what this unboxing is why it's here. Yeah, that makes sense. So like if you get rocked, and then they give you smelling salts, you might think you're okay, but really you're still fucked up. Right.

The worst injury from them is what this is backing up. When I was looking into it is whiplash. It's not like burning your nose. That's hilarious. How is it from just going like that? It's from the jet, because you can't not react that nose. That's hilarious. I was it from just going on the jet because you can't not react that way That's hilarious people that are more hurt

Fuck get fucked up more Get whiplash from that that's what you get into a car You want like to get more money? You just do that for what? Blast of that what is that stuff like what it just smells like ammonia. I think it is ammonia. Yeah Yeah, it's just ammonia in like crystal form. But this is this company is a, it's this, the product is called, ah, this is the strongest one we've ever tried. I've smelled it before too, but like that is very strong. It was like, it was like here and I smelled it. Yeah. It was, it, this smelled so bad that it smelled inside the seals container.

So it had a sealed plastic container on the outside. I had to open that. I could smell it through the container before it was even open. And then once I unsealed it and opened the bag, while this was sealed and with like a top to the lid, like so there's the top that's like sealed over the bottle and then the lid on top of the top. And you still smelled it. Still smelled it through that with like the plastic seal.

You got to pull the seal back and everything Once we open it up. I could it's just it's insane It whatever the fuck is in whatever it does to get it in crystal form no okay? Why would you go that close? That's pretty close Get in there girl big Beth big Beth big Beth big Beth. Oh, no, I spelled enough. That was nothing. I don't care I'm not gonna breathe in it. I'm gonna lie. I'm gonna do it. You did it

That first time was like brutal. Yeah doesn't wake you up though? It does. Yeah so if somebody had rocked you if you're in there with some girls boxing you up right just pees you up and they just smell that. They get you in the corner like whoo. I can see it making you like angry too. Yeah I would think it'd probably be good to mask any symptoms of you being hurt. I should have had that on the shit stick Yeah, imagine just so I want to bottle that to kill yourself yeah, but that's better Probably take a long time. You don't think you would die from that right away. It's ammonia. I wonder okay How much ammonia would you have to consume for it to be lethal Jamie? I feel like a cup How much ammonia would you have to consume for it to be lethal, Jamie? I feel like a cup.

This is not even a cup. Well, that's in crystal form, though. I think it'd be prolonged. I bet that amount of time you're probably doing it. But if you just down this whole thing, it should kill you. I swallowed it? Yeah, the whole thing. I feel like we shouldn't be giving anybody any ideas.

Probably not. People who were eating Tide Pods don't. They were, right? That was real. That's a crazy time. I think China did that to us. I think they tricked us Yeah, they got some like fake people to pretend to eat Tide Pods and talk dumb kids I remember when they were locking up detergent because kids were eating Tide Pods

We're like, I don't know man if you're eating those Tide Pods you deserve it Yeah, we're always gonna have kids that do stupid shit. There's no way around that. Tide pods is probably I'm lucky tie pods weren't around when I was a kid. You would have definitely been eating them. I know somebody who would have ate them. There's always that one kid in the neighborhood will do anything to get attention. They do feel cool though. They're like soft and what is in them? Wait, we're saying they were saying this is probably how this got into sports. They thought it counteracted head trauma Right. Yeah wakes you up. Not just but I mean

Fully like if you were knocked out, right? Yeah, I mean you had a cut I know it would wake you up, but like they thought it like fixed you right? They thought it brought you back. Well, they didn't know shit back then I still smell it I mean when do you think they figured out brain damage when they start figuring out if you get punched in the head too many Times you you lose your ability to communicate. I think they probably knew it pretty early and they're like I'm betting on this game now Well, they definitely knew about it because boxers were washed up even in the 50s and the 60s, but I don't think they understood the extent of it until probably like the 60s and the 70s. People started discussing like being punch drunk, punch drunk boxers. Like I think boxers knew about it, but I think like the general public, it wasn't really

a big thing. What about football people like, you know, concussions and stuff? Yeah, for sure. They get it real bad. All of of them all all contact athletes your head getting jarred like that But I think for us the big one was Muhammad Ali Because Muhammad Ali was such a cultural hero and to see Muhammad Ali in this later stages of his life like Unable to communicate and shaking is like very disturbing because as much as they try to tell you that had nothing to do with boxing, like come on. It definitely did. Of course it did. You jostling your brain around.

But there's also trauma induced Parkinson's is a real thing. Right. And so when you see people that are like, Freddie Roach, he was a boxer and now he's a famous trainer. He has trauma induced Parkinson's is a shake that he tells you is from his career as a boxer. It's just something that happens to people. And so when you see it happen to someone like Muhammad Ali, you're like, fuck.

Right, because this guy's like the sign of strength. Oh, not just a sign of strength, but the way he would talk was so different than any other boxer. He was so fast. He was so funny. Like, Howard Cosell called him truculent once. He seemed very truculent champ. Hell called him truculent once he seemed very truculent champ he goes whatever truculent is if it's good on that

he had so many funny things that he said he was the first guy that was like talking shit in a funny way and getting the whole world to pay attention you know he said one of his opponents I I forget who was, he goes, if you ever dreams he beat me, you better wake up and apologize. He just said some funny, funny things he would say, but also like refused to fight in the Vietnam War. He said, hey man, fuck you, I'm not going over there. Yeah, good for him. Yeah. And then lost his title, lost his ability to make a living for three years because of it. Like the prime three years of his career was taken from him because he refused to fight

in the Vietnam War. So he was a lot more than just a fighter. He was like a cultural icon who defined rebelling against a corrupt and evil system. And then eventually at the end of his life, he was a victim of the sport that made him famous. And we watched it. Right.

And that's the first time we ever watched someone go from, you know, just celebrated for the way he talked to being unable to communicate at all. This gives two very different versions of when it was discovered. Ancient Egypt. Yeah. 1848, Phineas Gage, a railroad worker,

survived a traumatic brain injury when an iron rod shot through his skull and destroyed much of his left frontal lobe. Gage's personality changed dramatically and his case considered a landmark in the study of brain damage and personality. So we have pictures of that. Yo, let's see the pictures. Oh boy. Oh boy. This says it went right through. Oh my god Apparently feel much pain. Oh boy. He's throwing up for every 20 minutes

But he was lucid and remained talking the whole time So he just made like his hair part over the hole in his head yet obliterated his left frontal lobe Oh, he survived the accident of 13 inch railroad rod is that the rod that he has in his hand yeah I think so oh crikey kept it that could be a gun or no that looks like the rod dude yeah that's the thing that went through his fucking head and he lived and now he's keeping it oh that's what it looked like. Oh my god Wait, so it didn't go through his eye it went through his head and destroyed his eye

What do you think that what did it say it did to his personality? So this was like the first Study and psychologists change psychology and right. What did they say? How did they say it affected his personality? Phineas gauge on second thought that's interesting. What does that say that on the top the the title of it for profane and hostile afterwards? A re-examination of the famous case of a man whose personality changed from a grievous brain injury Mm-hmm Okay, wait a minute Yeah Yeah

Yeah, it's hard to know this is a funky site The dude who runs outside it's funky I Mean I bet he wasn't a good time to be around well It does definitely dramatically change people like I was reading about this guy who developed an ability to see mathematics in like geometric form and it's called acquired savant syndrome. So this guy started creating like geometric art like apparently had no interest in mathematics at all and then I think he got mugged. I think he got beat up and then developed

some bizarre mathematical ability. I mean, that's better than the people that have like traumatic brain injuries and become pedophiles. Like definitely pray for the mathematic genius. Well, I know quite a few comics of that. Roseanne Barr, Kinnison, both got hit by cars. Both changed their personalities dramatically afterwards.

It's probably like quite a few people that just got knocked in the head and then just became a different person. Right. Which is really weird. It's a sketchy thing. Oh no, your joke was about somebody taking medicine. Oh, the joke about, yeah, the Parkinson's drug?

That's true, that's true. That's true. It's so crazy. Yeah, it's called a dopamine agonist. And apparently with some people, it completely removes their inhibitions. Right, he was gambling. Gambling, gay sex, just went off the rails. And what do you say he lost like 600,000 hundred thousand or somewhere in the neighborhood of that? Yeah lost everything But then when he stopped taking the drug he was okay Come back to normal He's like what the fuck was I doing he won in court, which is the craziest thing Yeah, you somebody sue Galaxo Smith, right?

But he lost he lost as much money as he gained back and he was also raped twice No raped once I think he was just he gained back and he was also raped twice. No, raped once, I think. He was just randomly picked up. He was raped or he raped? He was raped. He was raped. Yeah, he picked a guy up off Craigslist.

I guess he didn't see that. He just became addicted to gay sex and gambling. It's crazy to stop doing that and then you're like, wow, I remember all those dicks I took. Yeah. That was a crazy time. Well, he was a different human. His brain,

like we don't think about it this way, but your brain is essentially this functional ecosystem of all these different things, dopamine and serotonin, all these neurotransmitters and then the blood that's flowing through your body, it's all operating on this sort of like fairly regular schedule of what's available to use and how you interpret consciousness based on the chemicals. And then all of a sudden, you introduce this new shit. And this new shit makes you want to suck cock and play bingo. It's just crazy that both of those things are like

the same in this guy's head. Well, it's just wild impulses. I'm sure you had probably other impulses. I don't know if you got more violent, but that sometimes happens where people can't control. You know, like someone cuts you off in traffic and you want to be like, oh, that's a fucking idiot. Right.

They just fucking can't take it. They just want to just drive someone off the road. They just lose their impulse control. That happens to people with CTE as well. A lot of people with CTE, they have a very short fuse, like very short fuse. Didn't they think that happened with Aaron Hernandez? Yeah, they said he had the worst CTE I think that they had ever diagnosed, and he was alive

in 28. So he wasn't, well he's dead obviously because he did an autopsy, but I mean he was alive at 28 before he killed himself with the worst CTE they had ever seen. So it hadn't even killed him. But it had destroyed his brain. I mean his brain was destroyed. It was just filled with holes. That's crazy. Crazy.

And they said that when they studied football players, there's some extraordinary number of football players that have CTE. It's in like the high 90%. And this is not just college. This is high school, college. But all those people that have those high CTE counts, like they're not killing people either. Some of them are.

Not a lot. No, not a lot. But the thing about it is, first of all, when it's over, there's a lot of them that want to kill themselves. That's a big thing that happens with fighters. It happens with soldiers also, the PTSD compounding the fact they have brain injuries. A lot of heavy depression. So 345 former NFL players with chronic traumatic encephalopathy out of 376 former players studied. So out of all those people studied, only 31 dudes didn't have it. So it's 91.7%.

Among those diagnosed in the last year year two former players who once represented the teams paired in the Sunday Super Bowl former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Could you do me a favor and just Google Aaron Hernandez CTE? with results Second highest you could have I don't know the stages but says stage three were she's ever seen in someone that young Yeah, cuz he was yeah, that's what I was going to say. He wasn't playing as long as some of these other people. That's what's crazy.

Range of symptoms including emotional and behavioral changes, memory loss, and depression. Yeah. Yeah. It's nuts. It's nuts. It's not since 91% of players- It's crazy too that you just keep playing football because you make so much money from it. Well I think Aaron Hernandez was a violent dude already.

You know, there was like a lot of abuse in his childhood and there's a lot of crazy stuff. Sure. I think there's a lot going on with that guy. Right. So you might have been a little unhinged to begin with. I murdered a bunch of people, right? At least one. I think you murdered at least two. I thought it was like... They think you murdered two. Yeah, I think it right I was too I think one is like confirmed how many people did Aaron

Hernandez murder I know I thought it was three charged for one I mean dudes playing double homicide playing the NFL superstar also just gunning people down with one of the worst examples ofg they've ever discovered a first three murder and sentenced to life in prison Do you hang himself? Is that I died did he hang himself? Imagine like an injury like that dude with the rod through the brain and now all of a sudden you're a totally different person Like all your Life you've been one person and then gone that person's gone. It's kind of fun

Maybe not There's only one way to find out You would try like you want to know like how hard do I have to get hit in the head to be really good at math Like you don't want to overdo it. No, you don't want to keep pushing me. I still can't figure this equation Don't want to overdo it. No, you don't want to you're like keep pushing me. I still can't figure this equation One more kick to the face, please. I think we're right there. I think I'm starting to see geometry Yeah, that's crazy, but it doesn't happen to everybody. That's what's weird. No, some people make some great comics some people Just make some brain dead

Yeah There's a fine line there's a fine line genius and brain and everything is a fine line alright, so we wrap this up Wrap it up. It was really fun. Yeah, always is thanks for being here. You're very funny. I really enjoy your comedy I love the there's the risks you take you know you just go for it. It's it's fun to watch. It's great It really is it's fun. It's it's a different thing than anybody else is doing and people love it I think there's reason for that. And I think you're like one of those people that they have to find out about you to appreciate you. And you know that happened with a lot of people.

That happened with like Stephen Wright. That happened with like Mitch Hedberg. People had to like know what they're coming for to really appreciate it. Do you remember that story? I don't know if when Mitch Hedberg did his special for Comedy Central, it took so long because he was like bombing the whole way through. You never heard that? I mean, he's a genius, but his special,

he was not doing well, and they kept filming it. And finally, he's sitting down on those stairs because I think he had been at it for a while. And you watch that special, and it's hilarious. He's a genius, so funny. But yeah, in the room. It just was not going well Well, it all depended with Mitch on also who is there a complimentary opening act that makes sense? Sure, like he would have guys on the road

He would like have a middle acts on the road that the club would provide that dude be doing backflips and singing songs, right? That's not a great person for you to follow. It's terrible. And so people didn't know who he was back then It was just who's the headliner? Oh, there's a guy named Mitch Hedberg. It's terrible. And so people didn't know who he was back then. It was just, who's the headliner? Oh, there's a guy named Mitch Hedberg. Like, why does he have sunglasses on? Why is he staring at the ground? Yeah. But once they knew who he was, then they

would come to see him, and then it was awesome. And I think there's a thing like that with you. Well, what's funny, too, is like, Louis directed it, and he's like, let's do this thing. At first, he was like, let's do this thing where nobody knows you're filming a special. He's like, you know, you're just going out there and like, you know, usually half the crowd loves me

and half the crowd doesn't. So I was like, let's do one show like that. And that show, I tap dance the whole way and it was so brutal. I left that, the first two shows we did, I was like, the first one was okay and the second one was so brutal because none of them knew who I was.

They didn't know I was doing a special. They just thought they were coming for a regular show. And I'm up there for an hour. And people, like there was like seven people that liked me, but like, we all left so dejected. Like, Louis was like, I can't even watch this. And Ari, I seen Ari being like so depressed. And then I went home that night and I was like,

I'm gonna have to quit comedy. Oh my God. And then the next home that night and I was like, I'm gonna have to quit comedy. Oh my God. And then the next two shows the next night were amazing but like yes, I'm not for everyone. Yeah, you're not for everybody. Not even my biological father. Well, you're for me, I appreciate you.

Well, thank you, thanks for having me. My pleasure, so one more time, Jamie, show it. It's available now, Netflix, The Dark Queen. Tell people your Instagram, all that jazz. It's just my name, Adrienne Apoluchi. Spell it, though, because people are like, that's Apoluchi must mean A. I know.

Well, also, too. But you have an I first. This funky I. But everyone always thinks it's an L. So that's why I was like, we need to use a font where it's an I. So it's A-D-R-I-E-N-E, and then the last name's I-A-P-E-A-L-U. Have you ever thought about just changing your last name to an A? Just put an A there.

I mean, everyone thinks it's an L. How about just change it one big A? So people know how to say it. I feel like I like being a little difficult. You do. That makes sense. Keep it that way. Don't listen to me.

Thank you very much. Appreciate you very much. Bye, everybody. Music