The Joe Rogan Experience - #2236 - Protect Our Parks 13

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are stand-up comics, writers, and podcasters. Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Watch his new comedy series, "Tires," and special, "Beautiful Dogs" on Netflix. www.shanemgillis.com Mark is the co-host of the podcasts "Tuesdays with Stories" with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. Watch his latest stand-up special, "Soup to Nuts," on Netflix. www.marknormandcomedy.com Ari is the host of the "You Be Trippin'" podcast. His latest comedy special, "Ari Shaffir: Jew," is available now via YouTube. www.arishaffir.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience. Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Boys, boys, we're up. Hey. Let's go. Party. Headphones, you know how we do it. Black guys can be gay now.

What happened? Black guys can't be gay. It's allowed. They were never allowed to be gay. Well, I think the ditty thing let it all out of the closet. Like, hey, what kind of numbers are we talking about here? Yeah, I need something concrete. Wait, wait, I want to try this.

I want to try this. Bodega cat or buffalo trace? I want to try. He's got a new recipe. Hey, new recipe, new bottle on Bodega. What's the new recipe? Check it out. Tastes just like buffalo trace. Well, I have buffalo trace right here.

He just poured out buffalo trace into Bodega cat. Let me try it next to each other. This is better for you. Oh, it's better for you yeah buffalo traces racist and tomofoba it's got blood diamonds in it too okay bodega cat it's pretty good it's different it's different you can tell the old one yeah it's smoother is that an official endorsement okay now uh... bubble trees easy other women

uh... you got a blind taste of all day that's a good pretty good up and upgrade from last time from around karno of this good this is a good about what is really good but that's way better than the first first thank you know they catch good but if i got that a barbler is nice yeah you know it's fun we didn't even change

it i like really Yeah, you know, it's fun. We didn't even change it I lied Really? Ah, you see marketing really smooth lying where you not change it. No, we changed it No, it's the first one kind of had like a rush taste to it You know, like if you're doing a gig in Cincinnati and you know, they're not really using well whiskey. Yeah. You know what I mean? You order a drink at the bar and you're like, what is this? It's a local low-level brewery. Yeah.

Distillery. Sorry. Thank you. Hey, how about some Stogies, huh boys? I got some. Woooo! I brought you guys some from fucking Cuba and then they stole them at that Great I was in full bucket bitch mode and Shane's like whoa yeah, I didn't know you had this trauma with them But yeah, imagine being them know imagine dealing with people stinky feet and bullshit excuses

And then some giant dude comes in with a gun lighter He's trying to get on a plane and you're like, no And he's like, what the fuck He's got a dildo strapped to his dick I was losing it, I was like, I hope your wife gets raped Fuck you I was with Ari once when Ari farted on a TSA person I said I just farted on you

No Yes he did, no 100% He was, this is like young Ari when Ari farted on a TSA person. I said, I just farted on you. No. Yes, he did. No, 100%. He was, this is like young Ari. Young Ari was even more crazy. Young Ari was great. Young Ari was even more crazy. And young Ari was like,

this is what you choose to do with your life. This is what you choose to do with your life. Violate people's freedom. This is what you choose to do with your life. He would never ever let them put him through the cancer machine. He only would get touched. So he would like ever let them Put him through the cancer machine. He only would get touched so he would like no no By an Asian guy goes isn't this demeaning in your culture what you're doing Anarchist yeah, oh he was like uncomfortable. I was like Jesus Christ Ari. I don't want to go to jail

So you're sorry what was that 40 years ago? We possibly calling 9-1 and waiting I don't want to go to jail. So young Ari, what was that, 40 years ago? What would it cost to be calling 9-1 and waiting to get through? Don't say 9-11 at an airport. Because I know Ari. Ari's like one of those dudes that he has a switch. And when he crosses over to the other side,

you're going to have to wrestle him out of that room. He's going to kill somebody. You're a spaz, dude. I spaz. I spaz. Well, it's just an extreme conviction. Yes. He extremely believes in his convictions. And when someone's doing something he thinks is immoral or unethical,

he gets fucking furious. The best one for TSA, you remember when they started going like, state your name? And we're like, what? Why is that a new one? And it was only some places. I was like, why? And one guy at LAX was like, I'm like, why? Why did I just say my name? And he goes, because my boss wants to take more power than other people's. like I'm like why why did the same on a man goes because my boss wants to take more power Than other people's and I'm like, okay

I remember the old days dude when I first started traveling you could give your ticket to somebody. Yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, you could just give your ticket to another person like hey, I got a ticket Yeah, you just have a ticket here. Do you want to go? That's all see and you boom you can get on a plane That's great for bitches. Oh, you're like I'll find one of them Bryson a lot this price then I'll find a bitch I used to have to go wait with your girlfriend at the gate remember that oh you had to That's one good thing. That's one good thing.

The gates would be packed with people waiting to meet their friends. Now all those mutts, they have to be down there at the baggage claim. People don't talk about the good that came out of 9-11. Exactly. I got recessed that day. That's another one. That was a big day. That whole area downtown has been rejuvenated. Do you remember where you were? Yeah, I was in eighth grade. Bro, that was a big day that whole area downtown has been rejuvenated you were where you were yes

Great, bro that area killed Donna summer well She got lung cancer from like some I think it's lung cancer some horrible lung disease from breathing in the toxic fumes from the burn pits Toxic fumes A lot of firemen will disagree a lot of of those people that had to clear out that area, they're all fucked up from chemical burns. That fire burned for weeks down there. No Jews in the building.

Not one. A little fishy. That's why TSA's up here. A text message, a chat group that you guys are involved in. One Jew died. He thought he had time to go back in and close a deal. He closed a deal though. He thought he had time to go back in and close a deal. He closed a deal though. He closed that deal.

9-11 is the mother load of conspiracy theories. You will lose your life if you start going down the rabbit hole of Tower 7. The best is Eddie Griffin with 9-11. He is a conspiracy guy. He told us there was gold. There's gold. The trains never stop, motherfucker. Yeah, he had a whole rant on stage.

The trains went into the towers. And the trains ran 24-7. What? The trains ran all night? Transporting gold out. You're going to transport gold on the subway? That seems risky. Have you ever been on the subway, sir?

I transported a fucking box of human feces, and I was worried worried I was gonna get mugged. Why'd you have that? Big Jay's birthday? It's an important gift In his culture I have shit in this top of where for you We're the wise man mr. Guys Miss you guys too. Yeah, mr. Guys, too. guys to have to save the world it's been too long too long She's been busy making a fucking way in the world Shane, and I were taking a piss and we're like dude It feels like we're about to jump out of a helicopter. This is like before we do this thing. It's just like

Let's go On the way here just looking out the window like I was so happy. It's a beautiful day We're gonna ruin it in the studio If you put like a Toronto like retractable roof in here Cool that'd be a problem. Yeah, it's an engineering issue. It's a safety and security issue. There's a lot of camp Yeah, people could fucking parachute into the podcast. Remember that guy parachuted into a field fight Versus Riddick bow Wow Parachuted and landed in the ring and fuck the whole fight up fuck the fight up because it delayed the fight by many minutes

And then the guys cooled off there I think it was like late in the fight to see round seven so here it is round seven He's saying Mills Lane the referee saying stop He did not expect this Save the world you asshole was this pre-911 yes So they're not even thinking terrorism no no they were just fucking that dude up. Oh the hang glider. This was the 90s I believe I believe it was the early 90s

Need more hot takes head to the fan duel sportsbook app They got more ways to bet more ways to win and more ways to cash out quick You can cook up same-game parlays on any MLB or soccer game all in one place not to mention golf, tennis and more. Download FanDuel and get more from North America's number one sportsbook. Please play responsibly. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. Damn. They're all in there touching them for no reason. Did they say what year that is, Jamie? It's it had to be the 90s because I know I was living in New York I think I was living in New York when this was happening landing and immediately getting beat up That white guy wearing the Howard University shirt with the hat on yeah

Back then you could wear blackface. That's true. Yeah, I mean long enough It's just go go that you know Tropic Thunder was wet what year was that 2008? You can still do it if you control your invite list you see Jay Leno. He's in full blackface. What happened to him He owed a hill some money He fell that was a Chris Brown. I saw it bro. He's at a hotel. He saw fucking TGI Fridays at the bottom Yeah of a hill He said I'm gonna get a brewski Well, I realized that guy was in a motorcycle accident like a year and a half or so ago fucked his knees up So he's probably very unsteady on his legs and then before that he was severely burned

He was severe severely burned like in final destination He was severe. Yeah, severely burned like in final destination He's a have you met him no, he's not a robust man like he's a guy that if he fell off of a motorcycle He's getting fucked up. Oh, right, and he got fucked up. So to me like him falling and hitting his face on the ground Listen that could happen to any one of us but if you're this guy you probably can't stop yourself from falling flat on your face. He doesn't give a... he's talking shit to death dude. Yeah he's tough. He goes and gets pictures and goes yeah you motherfucker. Well this guy rides a fucking motorcycle all the time. He's sober. He rides a motorcycle all the time. Looks like a foreman out of mind. He's

got an eye patch. That's when he got severely burned. What did the hill do? He really does look like a Bond villain. So when you're that high patch. Oh, too far. Syphilis. That's the burn. If you get that, so that was two years ago, I guess.

So if you get that fucked up by a fire, and then you fall on a motorcycle, and you break your knees. Like, what was his motorcycle injuries? Find out what his motorcycle injuries. Man, that was Bernie Sanders. He just doesn't look like the same guy. He looks pretty frail now.

He never complains though. 72, broke his collarbone, getting clotheslined in his vintage motorcycle. Clotheslined by wire strung across a parking lot. What, he're driving through a He's getting like Wiley the coyote And that's two months after the burns Was recovering from the burns where a fucking engine blew up at his face

I'll be 72 in four years the fucking. He's still out there turning wrenches. He's fucking 70 years old working on these cars. He's tough. Everybody's complaining everybody's a victim. Not Jay Leno. Jesus Christ. That's awesome. We can protect our parks.

Oh, you can see a tire on his face. That actually looks like a skin graft. Oh man. Yikes. Yeah, that's what that looks like. Dude, I'm, Leno kind of rules for this. Yeah, he does. Look, the guy's out there. I don't want to make a point. Let him take over The Daily Show. He's got's what that looks like. I'm Leno kind of rules for this. Yeah I love it. Look the guys out there. I don't want to take her on a daily show. It's got a hell of a chin I don't have the balls to ride a motorcycle

Got that right Yeah, tough guy clean comics. They're psychos. He was really good back in the day Oh, really great in the 70s I when I start people were saying Obviously with ever was like prior number one and then like who's number two was the only and then they go a lot of people Said Leno Leno was an edgy motherfucker when he was young but he wanted that job, man We got to realize what that carrot was to guys from that era If you have a chance to host the Tonight Show that is the end-all-be-all fuck

Selling out Madison Square Garden doing stand- fucking HBO special. The Tonight Show was the spot. You were the kingmaker. You were taking over Carson, that you were on the level of Frank Sinatra. You guys would be friends now. Yes. And there were like four jobs back then for comics. Exactly.

You could make other comics. But that was the job. If you were a guy coming up in the 70s and then in the 80s, that job was the fucking ultimate top position well this is the tonight show now wouldn't you say that's ridiculous but I mean it's not clean and you don't wear a suit but no one's watching the show I didn't want this right so this is the night show now oh I get it yeah the difference is like I'm not changing who I am to get

this well I needed also no I think that's what Jay Leno did of course. I think he was an edgy like he was that like leather jacket fucking talking shit about people Yeah, oh, yeah, it was good dude. You ever see one letterman. We eat in a hoagie He's just sitting there eating a hoagie fucking with letterman He was going up also when he took over he had a day where he's like you can host today He booked Michael Richards. He goes. I want you and he was booking like weird edgy people for his version of that show and word He's um he was a real comic, but oh yeah, I think that job just like demands compliance You have to fit into that position, and then you know remember that Bill Hicks bit about oh Interview and Joey Lawrence, so you got a girlfriend. Yeah, well no she thinks so

Jay Leno reaches in and grabs an Uzi and sprays his brains out I used to be a good cut he unloads the clip and reloads it and his brains spray out into an NBC peacock Because he's a company man to the bitter end Hicks I asked Jay Leno about that bit once what is he had a company man to the bitter end. Whoa, dude. That's funny. I asked Jay Leno about that bit once. He had a weird response. He was like, yeah, he didn't want to do jokes for everybody. I forgot he talks like he's from the 20s, too.

He's getting three stooges injuries. He'd be like, oh. Norman, you and Leno should have a comp row. He was a fun guy on the podcast, because he was telling these crazy stories about old school shows that he did, like this mafia guy yelling at a priest. And Jay Leno was screaming and swearing. It was wild.

Wow, you know his old move. Before there were a bunch of clubs around, in the late 60s, he would go to a strip club, put $50 on the bar, and go, if I bomb, keep it. And if I do well, just give me the 50 back really true stories why he would not even be working for free rules yeah that was great he just became a different guy to get that show that's really what it is yeah that's a lot no way that's the sitcom thing man you see it a lot with guys that are

really good comics coming up and then they get on a show and they start being careful yeah that's a different animal yeah but also he went in dice style where he's like I'm gonna be me and then like we're signing you for you smart so he can keep being him yeah yeah you can it's possible to keep being you but it's it's very difficult most people they get trapped by the fucking Siren song and the banshees lead them into the rocks. Thankfully stand-up is the most incentive, that's the most incentive that you could possibly have.

It should be. But people that are really captivated by the idea of having a show, for them it's like the ultimate, I made it. I have my own show. Stand-up is so much easier. So much better. So like the ultimate I made it I have my own show stand-up so much easier so much better so much better I remember when I found out how much money people would make doing stand-up like if they sold out a whole weekend at the Irvine improv I was like that's what I get at a

comedy club what they get at a comic goes I get on sitcoms a season yeah no No Shane, it's a different time. What you're doing is a different time. No, no, no, no. For sure. A long time ago no one was doing the Wells Fargo. We couldn't even get free tickets to the Wells Fargo bro, relax. But you remember when you first started selling out comedy clubs, you were like, oh my god this is like sitcom money. Adding shows? It's teacher money. Teacher for the year money. Teacher for the whole year.

Yeah, what a teacher gets in a whole year, you get in a weekend being drunk. Big drunk. It might be a problem. It might be a dick. It's kind of a problem. It's not though, cause it's hard to get there. They could do it too. You don't like teaching?

Put together an act. It just takes 13 years to build up. That's the thing, the reality of comedy is it really takes 10 years to be any good. It's like a 10 year process. It's funny to see the friends from high school go from like, oh, that's cool, but also like, I feel sorry for him. We're all trying to get big in the business

and always barely able to pour McDonald's. And then as you start, oh, he's doing okay. And then either like, hell yeah, or jealousy. Like, why do you get this? Oh yeah, there's a lot of that. It's poor for two decades. Well, you know where the real jealousy comes? From people that don't have any growth in their profession, where it's not possible.

This is the height of... You can maintain this and you budget your lifestyle and you'll be fine, but there's no dream. There's no chase. There's no thing. So when they see a guy like you chasing stuff, putting together specials, getting more popular, oh my God, he sold out. What? Oh, that's crazy.

That sort of like fucks with people because they realize like they didn't make a choice That's exciting. You gotta grow you hear that Jamie Jamie looking Mexican as fuck now Anything brother like a rug because you got that long hair, too. You look good, dude. That's like a crazy hair. Ponytail mustache. What does that hat say?

I don't know. It was in my house. Fuego house. What is that? I don't know. They sent it to me. I think it's Aaron Rodgers. Oh, okay.

JMo, pull that up. Is that Aaron Rodgers? Actually, don't pull it up. I think it's Aaron Rodgers. Speaking of jets. It's some bros. 9-11. We brought it rolling back. Hey, that's that up. Is that Aaron Rodgers? Actually, don't pull it up. I think it's Aaron Rodgers. Speaking of Jets, 9-11, we brought it rolling back.

Hey, that's the weave. Ooh, that's the weave. The weave. Brought it back to the weave. That was like my black ex. R, you're sitting in the Trump seat. How's it feel? God, the Jets suck. It feels powerful, bro. Yeah, you can feel it.

Yeah, give me some bar. He's got a big fat ass. He does have a thickie. Big, thick rump. Big, big rump. And that means Donald's apron? Oh, I gotta have a dick off of Trump. He's the RFK Jr. saying that he was complaining about what he eats. He's like, oh, I'm gonna have a dick off of Trump is the RFK jr. Saying that he was like complaining about what he eats

He's like you get on the plane with them and it's just the heart of garbage. It's poison tall Shut up Talks about Trump the way I talk about the Rosa It's like stop with the shots already Come on birthday week They're talking about RFK for the HHS role like Health and Human Services. Well, you're on a plane with the guy It is Susan powder to run that it's like baby I should eat poison I'm doing great. I have Froot Loops today. I just feel RFK mad at me Use a VPN and get on a Canadian Amazon

Shipped across the sea. You ever heard of K talking about a son taking mushrooms? It's wild he was like I thought these were all drugs and then I saw him get better He's the voice of a generation his son the one who served I don't know because he fight all the time you get into arguments and hockey and then like Took these drugs and he like he's a cooler person and whoa Into it one of his sons went and fought for Ukraine. Yeah Yeah, I didn't know that our you need to go do it though they'll let you go there. Nah, they don't want me Just get half fit do five. You know watch it. I've been watching right over there. You can watch the war

Oh, yeah, it's crazy. I watch it's weird. It's like trench warfare. It's like five on five. Let's see it. It's weird Whoa, I with basketball would you go? Yeah, you're watching it the same way people watch those little fucking what are those little cameras? It's like a GoPro footage of a guy doing a BMX trail shaky. Yeah, it looks like that. Yeah, you're it's like the trail shooting people And the drones are shitty They're like little shitty drones. You see like a park. There's suicide drones. Yeah, and you just hear them and they They shoot down. They just land on you and blow you up damn man we got a good there's a video of a guy throwing his AK and the drone explodes

in the air and what saves him he saves them yeah saves them but for now different kind of warfare we're talking about it let's what are we doing over there yeah pull out cut it out what is Biden doing allowing Ukraine to launch long-range missiles and cut it out trying to go out I love when these presidents do something last minute. They know is gonna get reversed. They're just like here. I'll throw this in it I know but he's like, yeah, it's like I'm done. I'll just wait till the next guy comes in has to change it He's messing he's trying to make a messy for Trump. It's very well It's not just messy. It might be a war

Maybe the end of the world it could be the end of the world could be a hot war where they could suspend this changing of the guard, too Who knows what the fuck could happen? Aren't they just trying to occupy Russia? Just keep them occupied I don't know if you've got a guy that's coming in that wants to find all the corruption and find what happened during 2020 and find out who colluded and check emails and check There's a lot of incentive to do some wild shit to keep him. Yeah taking that position. I know that's super tinfoil Hattie, I mean, it's not hunter. Why else why was hunter at Burisma? Right good question What are those terms?

Good question. What does that mean? What are those terms? Hunter, Biden's son was working for Burisma, which is a huge company in Ukraine. He was making millions of dollars for a job he was completely unqualified for. He was on the board of an energy company in Ukraine while he was, I think it was while he was on crack. How about that crazy speech where Biden is on stage with a couple of guys and he's talking about how he fired the prosecutor,

he got the prosecutor fired, or they wouldn't have got the money. See if you can find that. Because this is, it's so crazy, this guy's ego is so nuts that he said this publicly, just to flex. He's basically just explaining the power that he had as vice president while his son was working for Burisma, and he's expressing it publicly and it should be a crime it's like what you're saying sounds like doesn't sound like what I want from the president sounds crazy yeah but for a crackhead he got a lot done he was going wild yeah that boy was

going wild a lot of hook I actually I'm coming around on Biden a Biden's nice well Hunter rules Joe's funny now Joe's at the end and he's kind of first of all if you think that's Joe's idea to launch those missiles there's no fucking way Joe Joe has nothing to do with that Joe had a giant smile on his face when he's sitting there with Trump giant smile just a gap joke about about

that is apparently yeah Gaffigan's joke about uh it goes um there's only a couple democrats that don't that don't like um Kamala and it's Joe Biden's family so like play this so we could hear it start from the beginning uh oh billion dollars no i said i'm not going to I'm not going to give you the billion dollars. They said, you have no authority. You're not the president. The president said.

I said, call him. I said, I'm telling you, you're not getting the billion dollars. I said, you're not getting the billion. I'm going to be leaving here. I think it was, what, six hours. I looked at it and said, I'm leaving in six hours. If the prosecutor's not fired, you're not getting the money. Well, son of a bitch

Got fired and they put in place someone who was solid at the time So this is your reference prosecutor. He was very very sharp when he was younger. He was still full of shit, but he was sharp Yeah, what was that in reference to? See if you can find was a well. They said it was a corrupt prosecutor well They want to get about Ukraine they keep trying to get their own Ukraine whatever Ukraine's corrupt as fuck. Yeah always has been He owes us a lot of money Me that's not a big deal. Yes Billions Tucker told me they had a deal a ceasefire in place in the UK and the US were like, nope, no ceasefire. Keep it going. Oh

Jesus Christ. Oh boy. What about Gaza? Ukraine Ukraine Like that Ukraine you guys come on man. That's a mess Yeah, I'm off the dog just give back those people and just everybody. I bet those people are all dead, dude No, they just got a couple more back. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the women they're trying to impregnate all the time. So oh Still you got you know can't blow up much kids. Oh, yes. Just give that shit back. I know but also, you know Yeah, I know everybody's shitty there Pushed out Ukrainian prosecutor because he didn't pursue corruption cases

So whistleblower complaint centering on President Donald Trump's phone call with Ukrainian president has spurred a number of allegations and counter allegations as Republicans Democrats jockey for position amid an impeachment inquiry at the heart of Congress probe into the president's actions is his claim that former vice president and 2020 Democratic front runner Joe Biden strong arm the Ukrainian government to fire its top prosecutor in order to thwart an investigation into a company tied to his son Hunter Biden. But sources ranging from former Obama administration officials to anti-corruption advocate in Ukraine

say the official, Victor Shokin, was ousted for the opposite reason Trump and his allies claim. Of course they say that. It wasn't because Shokin was investigating a natural gas company tied to Biden's son, it was because Shokin wasn't pursuing corruption amongst the country's politicians, according to a Ukrainian official

and four former American officials who specialize in Ukraine and Europe. That sounds like a convenient narrative. I don't know what's true, but that sounds a little convenient Yeah, oh no. No. He was fired because he wasn't investigating corruption We we insist that they investigate corruption in other countries and if they don't we won't give you the money In fact, we are so ethical that if we don't look at your papers and find zero corruption You don't get the billion dollars. Well, son of a bitch, they fired him.

Well, shut the fuck up. What am I, a child? You think I'm a child? It works. Trump's gonna pardon him. They're all doing it. Which one? It's just government. Hunter.

Hunter. Is he? Yeah, he said that. It's just government. They're all fucking bullshits. Let Hunter out, dude. Pardon me, dude. Free my man, Hunter. Imagine that guy being your dad, you'd do crack two.

You'd be out there, getting wild, getting wild getting foot jobs filming it leaving it on a laptop He's guys lost Also when you're making millions of dollars for a job you really shouldn't have you go wild of course yeah I'm making so much money. Let me drink before work Tony it's with his four thrones Way more thrones than anyone's made I'm thinking of getting a new throne We should get four thrones that we shit. But we need thrones. We should get four thrones that we only use to protect our parts.

That we reel in for this? Ohhhh. How about that? That's fun. How about that? What should they look like? Like a mid-Somar thing. Put a toilet in it.

Oh, that's not bad. You have to get up. Imagine we're sitting here smelling. That's not bad. I love a toilet in there. Are we shitting it? It'd be just like a bus. Don't shit on the bus.

It's true. We don't be shitting the whole time. You got that right. You can't talk shit. Look at each other in the eyes. Just like, eeeh. Can't talk, be me. That'd be terrible. You already shit in a box. What are you talking about?

You shit on stage at Skankfest. No pissing today. Dude, I went into a public bathroom yesterday at a football game. And this guy shit so bad that as I walked in, I could barely hang on. I was like, oh no, it was a big bathroom. Like six, seven stalls. Wait, you went to the UT game. No no it was a high school game

Oh what what yeah, you're not allowed there fun High school football is fun. Yeah, so anyway It was hot cocoa for $2 Snapping ever place that way through and they play good I used to be Fairfax high fucking rules you'd see people get like come off doubt like I'm enjoying no day football I'm enjoying football. He's such a good note anything. I'm enjoying it My point is like this guy's on a game today Dan. I'll we need your NIL The moment I walk in I was like oh I was like I can hold it

I was like no I can hold it like his shit was so bad that in a big bathroom It just overpowered the whole bathroom for someone dude football bathrooms are up there with like JFK airport Airport dumps airport dumps are bad guy from fucking Senegal land JFK I had in all time. Me and O'Connor were at JFK. We landed and got drunk. We got drunk at the Buffalo Wild Wings. It was on a Sunday so we were watching football

and we got hammered. But we started fighting. We always fight about shit. He's a liberal dude. He loves blue ski. We were getting fucked up arguing about that. And then in the middle of the argument I went to go take a piss. It was a wet floor. I just fell on the ground Other people's piss I was laying in the bathroom at JFK and he walked in we had just been fighting

This is an argument loser. Yeah, you know I mean you can't be laying on the floor in a bathroom and be like actually I know what I'm talking about Obviously I'm the biggest piece of shit that's ever lived. Yeah, you lose no matter what. If you follow JFK, you're... Like what's soaked into your clothes? Oh, you go to public bathrooms and the floor is just soaked. Soaked! You walk in and you're like...

High school full... I was the mascot for my high school. No way. What was it? What kind of outfit? I was a cavalier. What's that? It's a big cavalier So big head a pirate. Oh I got fired the first game. Oh, no. Yeah. Well, I was doing it was when this was The socket you hit and suck it as a cavalry huge that's very It's funny you when you find out that like like Hinchcliffe was a fucking umpire in high school He had a wrestling match with David Lucas on stage after hours, that's how you were there

Yeah, you fuck David Lucas up David Lucas is like 300 pounds Damn, it's like Jake Paul and Tyson. Hinchcliffe can fuck, yeah up a little. I'm being nice. But Hinchcliffe can fucking wrestle. He can wrestle. He did a duck under, got behind him, pushed him onto his back. I believe that. David Lucas was scrambling trying to get to his feet. Hinchcliffe was controlling him. He was furious. Who was the top? He couldn't believe it. Tony was the top.

There you go. Tony was- Yeah, y'all like it. That's how we find out. David was out of breath in four seconds Wow, there's four seconds of exertion and he was ready to have a heart attack. Let's go Tell that fellow I gotta clean that up hinge cliff He almost lost the whole election Gained him both they they were gonna write stories

They had stories already written that if the election went to buy or went to Kamala They were gonna blame Tony Hinchcliffe It's so funny how they thought Latinos just hadn't made up their mind yet, right and this was enough to sweat They're just a bit racist. Well, yeah this was enough to sway, they're just a bit racist. Well yeah, just. The Democrats, just a tiny bit. Not fully, but a bit. Latino's a big group.

They act like it's like. It's also they leaned on us so hard. Like, is that really. You make fun of Puerto Ricans, the rest of them are gonna be like, yeah. Nice. Yes, exactly. It's as if you say if you make fun of Staten Island,

the Bronx would be like, how dare you? Right. Right, exactly. But we make fun of Russia, we're white, you know. We're not like, hey, don't fuck with whitey. It was embarrassing. It was also, it was so lame to be going after that so hard when there's so much wrong with the world Well, they're out of stuff literally every major city is failing under opioids and homelessness It's just like it's just bad advice from the beginning like the very beginning is bad advice. Hey, I mean listen

It's like the New York Giants. You're putting some fucking local kid at quarterback He's gonna do the best he can some lady came in with two months to go, like, I don't know, try your best. Is it true that she got put in because Biden endorsed her as he was leaving and that that wasn't initially the plan? I've seen that, I've read that several times. I thought he refused to endorse her for a while. Actually, I think she pushed him out.

Because she pushed him out, but then once he did, he found out that, allegedly, this is what I had read, that they wanted to do a primary, Biden said publicly I'll just endorse Kamala Then he didn't think that Kamala could win. This is the allegation. So he was like fuck you Look at his smile on his face. I think it's DEI I think nobody can tell a black woman she can't be the one but the smile is insane, but a primary smile I heard about it I haven't seen it if she crumbles in the primary the way she crumbled in the primary for president

Then if Gavin Newsom or Josh Shapiro whoever it is that gets the words over on her that person emerges naturally, right? It's just like she fucked up. She's just not good. It has nothing to do with anything else No, I talked to a lot of liberals and they were like this isn't our this isn't our guy We wish we could have gotten our guy. You know,'s real nice? What? The left is the conspiracy people now. They're like, this election was rigged and Trump faked an assassination. There's a lot of that. It's like, oh! Dude, I've heard them talk about how the right-

I've heard them talk about how the right has created- I've heard them talk about how the right has created a billion dollar internet ecosystem of podcasts. Oh, right. But imagine that. But imagine that. Like as if there's some fucking grand conspiracy where a bunch of people just speak freely. So the right has organized this and he was comparing it to like radicalizing Islamists. Wow. He was literally comparing it to like young confused people get radicalized and his take on

is that they could be brought towards feminism. No, We're just trying to sell tickets. I will say Politics has extremely helped all of us here here here They've coming after us is just raised us up hella. It also makes you realize you have to say something You did that on purpose He says hella and he says it fucking wrong. No, no, I said it right there. Come on you boomer. How does he say it?

He doesn't know, he's east coast, I'm west coast. Yeah, whatever. You're taking what, Oakland? You live in New York. Yeah, but I have ties. You're from Maryland, did he? No, no, no, no, no, no. You're east coast from birth to now.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, I lived in LA for a long time I became a man in LA it didn't work Took the hymen How old were you when I met you are you like 24 I was 24 but but the development of a fucking 16 year old You're an odd fellow 24 just out of religion. I didn't know anything. Well those old photos you you were hideous How old were you the first time I took you on the road?

27, 28? Geez, what was, 81? But that 28 was like, really, it was like 22. Wow. I was just undeveloped. Because of the Diaz story. Oh yeah, Diaz just wouldn't... He wouldn't show up, so you had to hire him as a backup. So instead of just firing your opener, who just wouldn't cut...

Joe would be at the airport, be like, Joey, where are you? He goes, off, I'm almost there. In bed, not even getting out of bed. And then eventually Joe was like, I don't have an opener again. Instead of just firing Joey, he goes, I guess I'll take two people now. So it's either one or two, depending on if Joey showed up.

It was too much fun when Joey showed up. And I knew, I had a good friend who was a junkie in New York, my friend Johnny, friend Johnny and he died the pool player Yeah, he was my best friend And he he died after I was I was only out here for a couple years and he died and if it's really Yeah, I was in LA and I'd met Joey while he was still alive and I was like, this is the same guy Like he's the same kind of while you can I knew the type I knew like, this is the same guy. Like he's the same kind of guy. Get it while you can. I knew the type. I knew like, and I missed Johnny so much after he was gone.

So it was like, whatever I have to do to keep this guy around. This was Joey. Joey was still used. He's not using it anymore, he's way healthier. But back then he was like, the end was in sight. He was using it in a crazy way. What was he using?

Coke. Okay. Or by the way, one time he was like, yeah, I did crack for six months. I'm like, why? Because the Coke dealer was like out of the way home and the crack dealer was on the way home. Yeah. It was just easier.

He was, Joey was off the rails. Yeah. But. Rails. But if he loved you, he was your best friend. He was like one of the best friends you could ever have if he loved you. Yeah. And so I was like, I gotta do whatever I gotta gotta do so I didn't want to push him So I would always tell him you know if you ever need help

I'll help you he knows I don't need no fucking help, but when we would go on the road if you would just not show up I would say listen Anytime you want to go on the road with me you're gonna get paid You're gonna you can work with me anytime you want, but I'm gonna bring another opening act If you don't Joy for big such a coke head It was only like three times over the course of like ten years yeah Not that bad every other weekend, but he really big weekends. You know like

I was headlining at rascals in New Jersey. I was like shit. is a big one is a big one and then they had to use a local gun So it's like and I was thinking I was gonna hang out with Joey and I'm hanging with this guy Which is half of the fun of being on the road is being on the road with your friends Of course literally half one time we were going to Pittsburgh and I booked a commercial I was like dude. I gotta miss a Thursday show and Joe was like fuck that no, dude You can't do that. Like we had a thing and I was like, I need this for insurance. And he's like, No, fuck that.

I'll just use somebody local. And then, he's like, The city smells like suicide, come down. The local was terrible. What was the commercial? Can we watch that? Was it Activia? I think it was,

I don't know which one it was. IBM maybe or something. Oh wow, that's been funny. I used to do a lot of them. I used to do a lot of them. Commercials were big back in the day. Yeah. Everybody wanted a commercial first

that was like attainable. If you got a commercial, you paid your bills. It was a substitute teaching or dog walkings. If you got on a sitcom, that was the holy grail. No, that was. Gaffigan was the hemi guy, remember that? No, no, no, no, no, no, that's John Reap. Oh sorry, Reap.

Yeah. No, but Gaffigan did like 80 commercials. He did a ton of commercials. Yeah, well he's got that squeaky clean got that new special out first special on Hulu Don't do that don't get up go all up in your business. Is Joey Comedy's Hunter Biden? Ooh, maybe. Free the Rock. He's a completely unique human. He's not anybody's anything. He's a one-of-a-kind. Sweet guy.

He's the best. And he's great now. Still amazing on stage. He borrowed $200 from me when I was starting and I didn't have it. He kept my $200, but I was like, this is bullying for sure. And then I gave it to him. I'm like, okay. I had to be like, all right, at least I'll never have to give that to him again. And then, like, four days later, he's like, here you go, thanks. Whoa. I'm like, oh, okay. I guess we're not going to be friends. That's a setup. That's a setup.

Can I get a thousand now? And then he vanishes. It's when he's going back to Colorado, he gets a thousand out of you. So he just can't vanish. He can't hunt you. He can always give it back to you. Joey's the best. He's doing sets again around town. So he does get a hundred. You know he's giving it back to you. Joey's the best. He's doing sets again around town. Beautiful.

All over Jersey. Yeah, he was supposed to be here for a weekend in December, but I think he canceled. You don't say. I think he was on for a couple days. It's like he wants to, when he's here, he's back on the flow of things. He realizes how much he misses it, but it's hard to get the energy to fly to another state. And he's so fat. Yeah.

It's gotta be tough. He's been fatter. He's not so bad. Oh, bro, he got huge. Yeah, he's fine. When I met him, he wasn't fat at all. When I met Joey, he was like a linebacker. He was fucking huge.

He was like this big guy, like intimidating guy. He was thin, like big big barrel chested fucking dude. And then when he got fat, he got really funny. It's literally what happened. He stopped giving a fuck about being on TV, he's like this is a pipe dream, it's never gonna happen. Stopped giving a fuck about being in movies, and he just started being himself.

He would do the Cuban Egg Roll, he'd get a towel from the back that the handyman used to use, and he'd use as a cape. He'd go dun dun, and he'd just walk, and he'd use as a cape. He'd go, doon, doon, and he'd just walk and he'd shake his pants down. Big influence on me. He'd shake his pants down, just pop out. His pants never fit right,

because his belly would push his pants down. Push it down, yeah. Yeah, did you ever see my magazine, the album that I've recorded in like 1999, I took a bunch of pictures of Joey and they're in the album Sleeve and one of them is Joey buck naked with combat boots on I think he has Timbalands on and he's got a cape Cape and he's got this cape on but he's completely naked. It was inside the album cover He's got a big belly hog hanging out

That was fun. We used to be allowed to like show a guy's dick inside of an CD cover back then Right. It's in a man show. It came out naked. More like ED. Well, we did two versions Comedy Central insisted that we do one where Joey wasn't naked. We did it was fine And then we did it with Joey came out naked and like let's get this party started. It was huge Everybody died laughing. I'm like, yeah, listen to me Yeah, I know what I'm doing here Let's try just a man in clothes coming out You were gonna do a Joey show today you cannot do it with any sort of a network or corporation

You'd have to do it like Gillian Keith style or you're in control of it like Imagine the only fans dad imagine someone giving you a production notes on only fans dad no production notes show me only fans go to only fansansDad. Was that a fun gig? No, it show Mike. It was a disaster. Really? Yeah, yeah, because it all happened right around the same time that the Janet Jackson nipple thing happened. So everybody panicked, and all a bunch of stuff that we had gotten approved.

Oh. A bunch of ideas. What was wrong with that? Doug had some ridiculous ideas. FCC came in hard. They blurred his cock. Everybody was in a panic. It was just the mindset in Hollywood.

Yeah. It was like tone down all the outrageousness you can get in trouble by the way not even that great a nipple I didn't think her nipples out. I thought there was a pace you know it's no Show the actual nipple. I think I was I would have remembered me and my friends stood up and chewed What was a huge scandal if it was just a piece? That's crazy. Yeah crazy yeah I swear you underneath the ring I think oh no ring show it on screen let's show it to a ring that's a real nipple son black nip let's go metal ring she's got a crazy son on that that's a hypnotic eyes wide shut ring I like it made it set up fucking more see how that's why would you have a

tear away that was a Super Bowl, right? Yeah, Super Bowl. Show some titty. Damn. Let's go. Let's have some fun. Thought my mascot job was bad. So that freaked so many people out that they stopped anything controversial. It was a quarter second.

Ooh, look at Kylie or Kendra or whatever the fuck her name is. The Kardashian. Mark's just hard. Oh yeah. She's the hottest Kardashian, I think. Oh yeah, I think so. You got choices? Well there's so many of those whores. Kim looks like an alien. Kim looks like a full alien. Does she? Yeah. She still looks good. It's like made from, made in a lab.

Is that because you know what she used to look like or is it because she actually looks like that? No, I saw a picture of her on a billboard and I was like what the fuck is that and so I was like That's Kim. No, she's pretty pretty She's hot He was inside those guts didn't he like burn her name on his arm or some crazy shit. Oh boy Oh, I have no idea Pete's all together. That sounds like a good move. Yeah, yeah, it's my bad Yeah, and don't get any tattoos of ladies, I think Johnny Depp got Winona and he changes to wino Yeah, he got one on his fingers, too Yeah, tell you debt fuck Winona Beck fuck Winona, too

No way, but read a whole album about her back with each other all about her damn on his fingers too. Yeah. Tell you, Deb fuck Winona, Beck fuck Winona too. No way. Buck read a whole album about her. Beck, oh Beck. C-Change was all about her. Damn. I forgot about Beck. What'd you guys say?

I don't know anything. Good beer. Yeah, C-Change was all about her. He said he couldn't write it for two years after he broke up with her. Jesus Christ. Everyone knows your name or something like that. It's all about like, you fucked everyone in this town. I gotta deal with this.

Whoa, C-Change. It was one of the greatest albums of all time. Come on. No, it really was. We've never heard of it. An amazing breakup album. That's a weird one. Scientologist.

He's a Scientologist. Is he? Yeah. That's weird. Me and Bobby went to see him at a Scientology show. What? In Hollywood. What's that like?

I mean, it was just about the music, but only Scientologists and me and a fucking hooker fucker were there. I bet the Scientologists were a good time, though. They were great. They're time though. They were great. They're probably nuts. They were great. They have to be.

Yeah. You know the guy who wrote it. There's a video of him. L. Ron. Really? There's a video of him. He was a fucking completely insane person. He was a guy.

He was a completely insane. He wrote the most words of fiction ever in human history. Whoa. More than Shakespeare? More than everyone. He never had a second draft. It's just science fiction. This motherfucker. It was gibberish. No, no, no. It's not just gibberish. Oh really? Or the Shakespeare more than everyone he never had a second draft

It's horrible his science fiction is Like a bestseller. He was huge no no not really Dianetics was a bestseller But he just post just a lot of these like crazy science fiction stories in like these Magazines and books that they used to be like monthly publications in the 50s and the 60s, but he had that machine, too What was that machine that like a meter meter? Yeah? It's all nonsense. It's just it's just two. It's just two cans with the streets How clear were you I'll come clear as fuck, bro, no way How clear were you? I'm clear as fuck, bro. No way. I'm clear as fuck.

I'm like, no, we don't need you. You're good. The dude, I could tell, it was really kind of like, he's super unmotivated. He was a guy who was a member who they're forcing to go and try to recruit people. And I was out there filming for a television show in San Diego.

And so I went to this, they had like a thing in the park and I just went, oh, we had downtime. So I'm like, what are you guys doing? And he's like, oh, you know, Dianetics, this and that.etics this and that have you ever had your emitter tested whatever fired up. I got time I was high so I was asking a ton of questions just like what is this? Where did you where'd you learn all this stuff from like what's what's the story behind your religion? I start asking and you could tell the dude just didn't want to do it. He was not interested in recruiting anybody.

He was just like, I have to do this. Going for the credits? You have to do it, yeah, cool credits. But the problem is you got nothing to hide. All those Scientology queefs, they're all hiding something. They're gay. How much of it is the gay? I went with Natasha Leggero, went down to the one in Haunt

Vermont. Just be gay. And we went in there, you watch a video, it's all like mid-level 80s actors, and then they say this book is for ages eight to 8008. And I'm like, what does that mean? The guy's like, don't worry about that. Fucking nothing. Yeah, I'm like, no, what's 8008?

What does that mean? Well, it's more advanced stuff. You're not ready for that. Yeah, and then they go, can we get your address so we can send you more stuff? And I'm like, oh, I don't know. Like, let me just get your address. I'm like, okay. And Natasha's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you And I was like, oh, I don't know. Like, let me just get your address. I'm like, okay.

And Natasha's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Don't, don't, don't, don't. Bobby Lee's address. Shut up. My name is Bobby Lee. Lee can be a white guy.

You can be a Bobby Lee. Yeah. Robert E. They were sending me shit for. Bobby Lee. Robert E. They were sending me shit for a solid decade. You know who I still get calls from from the fucking Ivermectin people

For four years they want they want me to buy more drugs I'm like, I'm not gonna buy they go it could come back How much of a risk-taker do you have to be to say what else you got what else you sell I'm still getting hit up by the walls. I get text What's him up to? They want more money. He needs money. They lost a lot of money.

Who? 20 million in the hole. Who? Who? Tim Walz, the vice presidential candidate. Oh, the other one. Yeah. The vice.

He's the vice. The fake hunter, fake football coach. Liar is a fucking full on liar. Lying about football is crazy. Lying about football? Yeah. Everything is crazy. That's Shane Stolenval online about football's line of yeah That's his most I didn't care about lying about Being in Tiananmen Square that was a while

Being a head coach and you were a fucking dork assistant. Yeah, you're carrying water I'm a Hillary Clinton did it too with with the Benghazi right? She was like I was there we're under fire. Yeah. Who's Benghazi? Wait a minute. McDonald's was a lie too wasn't it? Yeah that was a lie too. Not only that but they photoshopped her face on an existing photograph of a girl from the 1980s that did work at McDonald's. It was a white girl so they photoshopped Kamala's face, just some internet jackass did it, I'm sure, and said, oh, we have proof. But they were trying to pass it off as it was real. But why is working at McDonald's good?

Because it's victimized. Because you're a middle class person. It's a lowest level job. But why is that? Who cares? You're working class. In these days, when you're on a brag about your hardships. To say if you came from McDonald's to the president,

it's pretty sick. I guess. When you're a person who's like trying to con their way into a job where you're gonna make an insane amount of money it's really cool to say start it from the bottom now I talked to some Puerto Ricans about about a Johnny the block and they were like she was like I got a ham sandwich with Fanta. If you know, you know. And then they're like, Jesha was like, that's not a thing.

Like, what are you talking about? You heard it from someone. A ham sandwich with Fanta. She's been famous for 80 years. She doesn't even know what it means to be normal. Why are you pretending you know it? You were a fly girl. They all love pretending.

Everyone wants to be real yeah it's hard you feel insecure if you've made it too far you should know my dad was an academic and I grew up in wealth smarter than everybody well I knew friends who worked at McDonald's they would hide it they're like that's a very Ari take on things though yeah you're well trained now it is fun to be like oh sorry my dad worked hard your dad was a fucking loser. Yeah. And left your mom and my dad worked really hard. Really hard. Yeah.

Good luck with your campus job. Let's also think that you'll never understand the struggle because you never had to struggle. That's what it is. Mm, yeah, she really blew it. My favorite is multi-million dollar Hollywood saying it's hard for a thing. That's terrible.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. What'd you get? Did I miss it? Did I miss it? Did I miss it? What'd you say? Get it. I should've known it wasn't a stupid idea. It's over, it's over, it's over. I Was listening to it like it was a statement She blew it and she lost the election. Oh I get it

There's a bunch of those out there Yeah, she was hot when she was young I bet you oh, yeah videos of her with Montel Williams Yeah, oh yeah, is that your daughter they said and oh that was a really bad I was like no she got real mad no this is funny. Go for her She's working her way up that's something something to brag about. It's a strategy Why is that any less of a strategy than a pharmaceutical executive strategy? Yeah, it's the same Why is it why why is it like using your good looks to your advantage and making your way into a political system? That's fucking completely corrupt Why is that negative Matt right did it? Yeah, use those looks why not? Yeah did did it? Yeah, he did. Use those looks, why not?

He did, smart move. Yeah, he's hot. It's pretty shocking, Adrian Apollucci has a special. Yeah, but that just shows you how funny she is. It shows you how funny she is. Joey Diaz, buddy. She's lost a lot of weight. Has she?

Yeah, she lost a lot of weight. Big mistake, fat is funny. She's still fat. She's still fat, don't get me wrong. She's still holding it down. She's still holding it. But she's not as not as category and not a lady she rules fearless just goes for it yeah I think she doesn't give a fuck she doesn't give her understands to give a fuck like she actually doesn't care she's pretty great people walk out there she goes, I guess I get it.

She's moving here. No way. Fuck it. She's been loving it so far. Oh, really? Yeah, I helped. We talked her into it. Ari helped me. He reached out to me and said,

you gotta talk to Adrienne and move in here. And I had her on the clock. She was already convinced. She was like, she was already in. Did you tell Rogan on me that I might be like, yeah? I tried to get under pressure. Yeah, she's funny, man. We need more.

She's so fucking ballsy. And she's funny in a different way different way like she's got her own vibe. She's not like anybody else It's fun. Yeah, I like her. It's so like at both sides fuck both of you Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck everybody and just serious never smiles once on stage from the Bronx Yeah, yeah, the reviews of her specials either. I haven't seen it yet or it's great. Oh, that's awesome Yeah, her mom was a comic. Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah. Oh, that's right Geez who'd you go book you that? Your mom start doing it again after she had been doing it a while? Did her mom try to do it again? Maybe Remembering that right? That's tough. Imagine going to a club see your mom there like bro. It's probably better than your dad

Yeah, if your dad sucked as a comic my dad thinks he's really funny, and he was he was funny My dad's very funny, but he was like put me put me in tires He was like joking Tell my mom like my mom was like Get him out of there go start that body. I would like that, but then he had a heart attack So he's on the sidelines for a while is he all right? Yeah, he's good. All right, but he's bad He's not allowed to drink which is tough to watch the old man poor guy Having to watch him fucking sit there watching football

He's he's working his way back so he can drink yeah It's an incentivizer. He's just like literally he's working. He's working on his heart So he has to do like cardio like he just goes on long walks. He's Filled gills so crazy. Yeah, I need my poison. I need it Dude he was in the hospital my mom didn't tell me how bad it was to like not Freak us out, and then I got there, and he was like fucking like like he had fluid in his lungs, so they couldn't operate so he was like this could be it and We're sitting there, and they were like yeah, well you're gonna have to stop drinking he was like 68 years old and a hell of a run

What it was a nice like no hell of a run with drinking it was just very nice to be like Get him on edibles Get him started at least give him an option I don't know how I'll handle it will be fun This is he get you started with a five milligram just a little jammie that gives you a little smile on your face He's gonna make the colors a little little High and be like I know he's gonna pass for 5,000 yards. Yeah, maybe he'll have good intuition.

Oh yeah. He might have like some skinny face and such. He's skinny now, he's walking around, he's. Boo. Boo. He's in hell, dude, he's in hell. He's stuck in the house with my mom all day,

she loves it. Is he eating healthy? Yeah, he has to. What does he eat? We'll catch him, we'll catch him. He's just walking. He's eating some wings. He's eating his burgers.

He's eating them at night. By the way, he actually is. You'll be over there. You'll see him at the fridge. Give me that cheese, daddy. Oh, he goes in there, eats it, and pulls out one water. Rolls the car in neutral out of the driveway, starts it on the streets.

It can go off the burger cart at the middle of the driveway starts it on the streets Last time I went home to see him he was literally standing at the counter eating a cheeseburger Need the vice he's the boys working his way back to be that's good. That's good. Yeah, you should have them on The bed he's like look I've been in the JRE tires is next tires Wait about are you garbage? I bet he's got some stories. He was fucking garbage Yeah, he was he was on his fuck. He was from like he lived in like a he went on our garbage No, no, I'm just saying I thought you were serious The island of Puerto Rico should go on are you going? From the internet no

Rico San Juan baby, that's the Tony joke a wild thing is that joke was based on his need to like, he gets freaked out about the environment. He gets freaked out about the pollution pattern. While he's in a throat. We were super high. We were super high in the green room. In the regular world. He's like, how long have there been plastic? There's only been plastic for six years. It's bigger than fucking Texas. It's in the, so he sits getting obsessed by garbage, then he finds out about Puerto Rico And so then he comes up with this joke. There's an island of garbage. I think it's called Puerto Rico

Yeah, right, but the joke was actually out of his concern that Puerto Rico is Mothered by he actually loves Puerto Rico He's just a retard People don't know the whole back story You're doing a fucking Trump around you should have come out and just be like he's retarded I kind of did I mean I basically said that like yeah This is where it came from like the Tony's just yeah, he's a fucking insult comic He's the best insult comic in the country if you want to watch that that roast watch that Tom Brady Brady was so funny watching John's door like that's

Stewart Stewart to her he's a real comic. It was like he's a funny guy Yeah It was wild us that they saw that joke and everyone's angry within one minute and it's like no nothing to like let me Analyze the arts. Let me just figure out what this is but it's like I nothing to like let me analyze the arts let me just figure out what this is but instantly I know what it is I'm done with it it's just demeaning to like everything exactly we were talking about earlier that does happen to people where they can become someone else but Stuart

has not done that yeah he's still coming he's still goes on stage with Chappelle he still he does podcasts he's very reasonable when he does them I think he also got disillusioned by that fucking Apple gig where they've cancelled his show because he wouldn't do it He was want to do a thing on China and they're like no fucking way really and like that was it You can't talk about China. You can't even tell the truth. You can't say if you're on an Apple show and Apple has this insane manufacturing deal with China. Oh. All their phones.

Slave labor. Everything. Think about that. It's the craziest thing. What about the Weavers? That these virtue signaling people. Yeah. Like Schultz.

Yeah, anytime. Hey! Hey! Anytime the liberals get at you, just go, using an iPhone? Fuck off. Yeah, just shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Go get a Samsung if you really care. Yeah, didn't John Cena he had to do a whole thing remember that Yeah, oh, yeah

Nailed it got the language down That's when I was in the streets before he did a bit about that for a while I was like that's when I knew the China was gonna win cuz they already got our mascot they got our guy American looking guy ever. That true Sina fucking rules there's a job his wrists are so big it looks like his forearm is cut off here it looks fake it's crazy it looks like his arm should be way longer but they moved his hand like he's got no looks like that their hams bro and that's the downtown of communities bro he is the number one down to see him hitting a fucking salute running in and Jean shorts fucking people up mr. make-a-wish

Batman I'm seeing it yeah I didn't like with Tony with all the comics Wayne and that really was the most you're always gonna have that from weak people that aren't happy with where they are that's what it is So people are waiting to jump on Tony. That's it. That's it. Like what now that he can't fight back. I'll jump in there Right exactly. They never shit on some low-level guy. He's doing great and you can not like You're allowed to not like him if he's doing great Yeah, if you're attacking him like you don't know what he was doing, you don't know what he was doing, he was just doing what he always does,

he's an insult comedy. Are you saying you don't like insult comedy? So you don't like roasts? So say that two months ago, why are you saying it right now? Listen man, roasts are one of the things that's gonna save comedy, because they're so funny that it's undeniable to Netflix.

So Netflix gets the highest ratings they've ever had ever on this Tom Brady roast. It's completely non-pc It's some of the wildest jokes Tony calls him a confederate fag Like it's some of the wild and it's killing and it's so funny people love it and they keep sharing it People keep sending it to their friends and clips are made out of it It's huge for Netflix it without that you don't get the freedom to do whatever the fuck you want on stage I make fun of Tony a lot, but that was a nice moment.

Gangster! I was sitting there, when he did the roast, He killed it. And I gave him a joke right before, and this is how like in the pocket he was, because he like stood up from the table and was like, hello. I was like genuinely happy. I was like watching him fucking kill yeah, and then the joke I gave him He I gave it to him right before it was a joke on I don't want to say all right Puerto Rico It was a insult personally at one of the Pretty much know already then but

But I love Nikki right before he tells the joke he looks he literally looked over me was like From the audience like that that ain't easy to you know, they wanted him to do his set seated. And he was like, this is stupid. See, I need to, how about this? Because they didn't respect him. They're like, any store guy, they're like, no, you're not one of the cool kids. So it's like, dude, fuck off.

Just let the guy shine. Well, there's a lot of resistance to him with the powers of being. Without a hungry wolf. A lot of resistance to that hench-clips fella. So much butts in here, fuck. Well, just say you're mad he's at a Trump rally. That alright, that I get.

Why are you going to use the joke as a vehicle to get angry? Because it's both things. The joke is nothing but the fact that if the joke just released on YouTube, eh, people would get mad. Maybe the Kamala Harris camp would use it to show that this guy is a Trump supporter, but it's not connected to Trump. The fact that it's at the Trump rally, which is's not connected to Trump the fact that it's a rally Which is so crazy. They did it. They should have never

Waiting it's like Alexander Cortez Cortez. He was sitting there Cortez Cortez, you yeah Doing that Duolingo shit. She's sitting there waiting like what can I be angry about? I check that's why well, it's like that's not the target market. They're trying to win man. I will look at it like they should be reasonable Why would they be reasonable when they're trying to win they want to exploit every last? Possible thing and Tony gave him a bunch of rope yeah, and they hung them well They were already calling it a fucking Nazi rally And then you have a comedian go up there that probably a lot of them had no idea who he was sure right?

Even like the people talking about it, and then he's I mean the fucking watermelon carving joke That was the one that should have been so stupid. That was an improv. I know I gave him that one. I thought it's funny. I don't know well. Yeah at a comedy club Well, yeah at a comedy club Yeah, what they made it a Nazi rally then it's like well, then nothing is gonna work here to you guys it's a full Israeli flags and a Nazi rally I saw you for Israeli flag from the rafters Yeah, there was Israeli flags that people brought the whole idea that was They'd no one believes it man. That's why they're not

Now I like when the comics do like when they'll try to defend somebody, but they're so scared of the backlash They go look. I didn't like that joke, but it's his right to say it It's like bro comments on that you don't like jokes how about when Patton took a picture with Chappelle and he had a I'm the you don't like jokes. How about when Patton took a picture with Chappelle and he had a Photo of him writing an apology on a piece of paper was weak. I think he felt really bad about that He did that was the height of all the shirt. He felt bad about that wait a week Let the press pressure go away Then if you have to weigh in well the internet coming at you scary people panic don't read it Tony handled it really well So hard he goes fuck off and then just not another word about it

I had to read the thing about the view because I just thought it was funny Was trying to say that I believe in dragons wait, what is this? I checked it and then the lady goes I checked it he believes in dragon should be like Wait, it's from a wildlife biologist who came on my podcast with some forest galant Galante galant. How do I say his last name a great guy? I love him. He's awesome But you're saying there are there are fucking off J Moe. Let's do it Forest clip where he's explaining dragon now that Jamie looks like a Mexican

Forrest's clip where he's explaining dragon not that Jamie looks like a Mexican. He's lazy You decided from this and for me talking about it with Adrian Apollucci the other day Explaining what for says and saying that I don't think that there was pterodactyls living with people. I said it No, and she said maybe they did leave it this I'm right now I thought my position is it's probably crocodiles or some big Komodo dragon or some big lizard that did kill people And so people fought them with swords and shit and they came back with a story and then the artist drew it and these things I was at night and you had a stick. Yeah Joe Rogan in a unicorn all throughout these same time periods

There's been giant lizards all throughout the same time time periods have been Komodo dragons You've been crocodiles been here for fucking hundred million years or whatever they've been for probably more so the idea that That people didn't encounter giant reptiles is stupid And then there's the other thing is like people were really bad at describing things that they'd never seen before So if you're a European traveler, and you go to the Nile River, and you see a fucking crocodile What is that? Take a guy.

Yeah, what is that? What the fuck? Or a baby in Florida. So let's... That hold any weight? Like if there was actually dragons? I mean, we know there were large flying lizards during the times of dinosaurs, right? The only weight that it could possibly hold is that like a few of those somehow survived

much later than we previously thought. But do I think that there were dragons attacking human beings and civilizations? No, I don't. JD Vance looks terrible. It's so much cooler if there were. The fact that we know that pterodactyls did exist, that's cool. It would be way cooler if they existed with people. Right, 2,000 years ago. Why is that? Why is that so much cooler to us? I don't know.

It's like, I would be, I mean, people would dedicate giant chunks of their life trying to find out if Pterodactyls did coexist with human beings. Oh, yeah. I swear. I thought I thought you had pterodactyls on your shirt there And I was like, yeah, this is the most Autistic thing I've ever seen. Why can't pterodactyls be real? The problem is you're taking Joey, Joey Bayer or whatever name is as like a as like a as a news story. This is right after.

Did you have a stroke? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, who believes in dragons By saying we should trust them because they're double-checked by ABC News and then making the stupidest fucking statement Like you're you didn't listen to what I said Yeah, you didn't listen to what the wildlife about and that's only a part of what he said I can't be part of a said was there was something before that where he was explaining encounters with giant reptiles I was also Listen, it doesn't. And there's also, listen- It doesn't make sense to me that a middle-aged woman could be dumb. When you're worried about losing your job, and you're worried about podcasts taking over, and who's the source of news, and we said Donald Trump is Hitler but half the country

disagreed with us and he won and this is fucking crazy, and Joe Rogan believes in dragons! It's just frantic. If you believe that Donald Trump is Hitler and everyone who supports him is a massive racist, and if you are any ethnic or gay, you need to get the fuck out of this country. Because if you believe all that, it's bad for you here. But Sunny Hostin, she makes some good points.

Who's that? She's the other one. That's not gonna clip well. I'm just saying, like, if they really believe this, what are you still doing here? Jamie, there's a photo that I have on my Instagram. You gotta start drinking, Ari. Jamie, there's a photo I have on my Instagram

of a whale that's on a wall in an old Italian church. It was from like 2017 or 2018. I was in Ravello, and there's this church that's, it's so old, the church is 1,000 years old, but it's's built on top of another church. They don't even know how old that church is There's like a glass floor and you look down you see the old church They don't they have no idea how old it is But they had a painting of like the whale from the from the Bible who is it Job? Who is it? So look at this photo this is this ancient ancient church, but there's a photo of a whale

That's in is it in that where's around the same time. I know I put the photo on Instagram. Oh, Italy That's the church but in that church is the whale doesn't look nothing like a whale the whale looks like a monster Looks like dragons. So that's what it's like. Here we go Drawings was like they came back and, those fucking mercenaries couldn't draw. The bad artists. The savages, the fucking animals that were hacking off heads into Congo. They're not drawing.

I've been real busy pillaging. I can't work on my art. So they explain it to an artist. And then the artist draws it and they could probably barely remember because it's probably so traumatic. Yeah, drunk all the time. A 16-foot crocodile comes launching out of the river and takes one of your boys and eats them in front of everybody.

It's like, wah! That's it. So that's what they thought a whale looked like. A whale? Yes. That's a crocodile. That's a trans. That is the story from the Bible.

So they had never seen a whale before, so they drew this thing. Look how bad they got the guy. I mean, they knew what guys looked like, and they were struggling thing. Look how bad they got the guy. I mean they knew what guys looked like and they were struggling. Yeah they weren't good at arts. It looks like an alien monkey. They're doing it in tile in all defense.

It's a very difficult medium to work with. What's a higher primary thing? What is this? Look at that guy. Isn't that wild though? So that is what. He's bumming out of here. Be cool bros.

So their version of things that we know what looked like were all fucked up already Yeah, so that's probably what dragons are what dragons are probably giant crocodiles There you go And there's some people that went to the Congo in the 1800s that said they saw crocodiles bigger than their boats 40-foot boats and crocodiles were bigger than their boats. The thing about crocodiles is they don't they don't die, right? They just stay alive until something kills them. So they keep growing.

So if you've got a crocodile, it could be 300, 400 years old. And that would be like a 60-foot crocodile. And they might have seen those back then. They get that old? And that's when people had guns, right? So the people with the guns are probably killing all the ones that are really big. So those ones that are really big,

they've been eating other crocodiles. They've eaten everything. they cannibalize each other, they eat everything that moves. So to get to that point is so hard that when you whack those dudes, the ones that are left are like 30 years old, 50 years old. Like you'll probably have smaller crocodiles. It kind of makes sense. That's probably what dragons were. Probably were a bunch of people that never experienced crocodiles before and just got fucked up by these 20 foot crocs What is Joey Behar say Whatever Joey Behar when she's when people tell like hey, so that's that's not true I just want to say for the record. I have no hate for George bear if I saw her give her hug

I don't care. I'd probably say the same thing about me if I was her It's no big deal I don't care But it's a silly thing to say it undermines your own personal credibility If you say we're so good because we're we're supported by ABC News And he's a joke of please the dragons in the next set and no chance it comes back goes. Oh guys I was wrong. It was a joke that would be Joking, but it would be hilarious Fucking believes in dragons, but I wonder if there were some kind of flying lizards at one point

You know here we go. Well. This is what the Bigfoot myth is about the Bigfoot myth is about a thing that really existed It's called gigantopithecus, but it lived like a hundred thousand years ago So by the time at least we think it that we know for sure Know later than I mean later than that for sure hundred thousand years We don't know earlier. It might have been earlier. It might have lived 50,000 years ago We just don't have an example of it, but that was a thing that was passed on in stories. It's dead now It doesn't exist anymore, but people were telling a story about a thing that was real. That's probably what dragons are It's probably people telling a story about a thing that was real and if if 100, 200,000 years ago there were some reptiles that could fly, we know that pterodactyls

were fucking real. If they just find one of those things, it would change everything. And you've got to realize, they've only been finding dinosaurs for 200 years. 200 years ago, they didn't know what the fuck. That's when the Jews started burying those bones. Well, there was a bunch of dudes who had fake dinosaur bones. You're trying to trick us. Don't attack us. It's a bit nice weather today. You know there was a bunch of dudes who put like other bones and claimed they were dinosaur

bones. There was a bunch of frauds. I heard there's money in bones. Jamie, when did they discover dinosaurs? Ari, you look like a pterodactyl. Imagine discovering dinosaurs going, oh, is this still around? I think most of them at the White House. Imagine discovering dinosaurs going, oh is this still around? I think most of them at the White House. Pelosi, get out. She just filed for reelection. She's like 79.

She's 84. 84 with those tits. She just fired for, yeah. Pretty huge. Cans. When did they, 1824. Okay, so exactly, exactly 200 years ago. They found the first dinosaur damn Known about dinosaurs for 200 years wow

And there's a giant chunk of the planet that has not been discovered like we had a podcast the other day They've only like looked at five percent of sub-saharan Africa. They find whale bones in the Sahara desert Oh hell, yeah bones in the desert who knows what the fuck's out there It's not impossible to imagine that since there used to be flying lizards at one point time to work 1677 someone discovered 1677 so it created with discovering the first dinosaur bone, but his best guess as to what belonged to was a giant human oh wow Finally a giant female man bro God damn that guy was huge That's my favorite conspiracy giant giants used to roam the earth and that you know They were created by the Anunnaki breeding with people. I believe it

And that the government the Smithsonian has been hiding giant bones, you know, they made yelming They got the two tallest people in China to fuck no good move. Yeah, but that's a good move Yeah, Zing I mean how many fucking division one football players are out there because their parents had listened. You're a big lady I'm the big guy. I think we make some kids can make us some fucking money. Let's go If you're really into football and you're a big fella and you see this big lady at the bar with some nice hands I need hands If you have a lady and she's tall but she's got some dainty hands you could have a brittle kid Yeah, you don't want a brittle boy. Well, I believe in giants. I saw fucking I went to an NBA game and met Zack Eady

Yeah, Jmo bring up Zack Eady. If you saw that guy if you lived back then it's all guy like fucking Zack oh yeah Fuck don't fuck with those. Yeah, what's that guy the mountain from Game of Thrones? How about Jack Jack just shot? She's a legitimate Jack is he's a seven foot human He used to come into the store, and it was like he's only ten inches taller than me, but he Yeah, what is he Siberian or something he looks like Mongol. Oh, okay. He looks now. He's what is funky? Oh, this isn't yummy. Who's this guy? That's a kitty. Oh he plays for the Sixers. What is a nationality? It looks a little shine a national. I believe he's an American bro. Yeah, but what is his yeah family's background Toronto a Seven four Jesus Christ I took a picture with nationality I

Looked like a other than Canadian What does his family come from Chinese immigrants? If I was you played ice hockey and baseball. That's a good Ice hockey would be tremendous for any sport right that's a hard-ass sport on your legs Oh, yeah, you know the best players only play 20 minutes a game. Wow play like a third of the game. It's that hard Yeah, yeah, but it's a they play so many games. It's non-stop. Every fucking other day. Yeah, well, yeah. You just can't, you can't play a long shift.

I think the hardest is soccer. Those motherfuckers, there's no commercial breaks. They're sprinting the whole time. There are some breaks. Every single time a guy gets touched, they all lay down. But that's what you do. Well, that is on purpose. Everybody in America is like, oh, fucking pussy, get up.

It's like, bro, there's no time. Yeah, that's true. They're all like, yes. Everybody in America is like all the fucking pussy get up. It's like brothers All like yes rugby might be a rugby might be it They don't stop. I don't stop in there. No, it's American football rugby No, American football is the the reason it's a three-second plays because they would die There's no time going in such a full sprint. It's crazy. Crazy amount, full power. They're huge, those are giants. Giants, giants. But the cardio, the nonstop cardio in terms of that, they might be soccer, rugby, or Aussie football.

Alright, then cross-country is the craziest. When we went to Dallas, we were at the Cowboys versus the Jets, went to say this was the first NFL game I've ever been to, and we were like not far away from the players, and you see how enormous they are you look at 350 pound humans Just walking running walking with mortals faster than us. Yeah, they're so fast Who's that one guy that was almost 300 pounds and he read a four second four second plus 40 Aaron Hernandez I mean there's a now

now It's an island of garbage yeah you know what they thought mermaids those were manatees that's how drunk and horny they were i've heard that rumor i don't believe it it's a dark thing, a cheaty vision, they've been poked in the eye since they were two

drinking rum all day guys poke them every time they get in an argument they just poke each other in the eye nobody could probably see at all Since they were two and drinking rum all day Guys poke them every time they get an argument You'd probably see it all there's no glasses. You just went blind you're eating terrible food. Yes They're blind by 20. They thought a manatee was a woman I don't believe a nice a nice plump woman like it's a both rich ladies that eat the grapes hot Yeah, the ones that what do they call those? Yeah, the ones that what do they call those? Checks you've been asked

That was hot back then because nobody could get fat because everybody was starting to true. That's true It meant you had money. Yeah, you were hot and now fat people are poor right so back then that was a hot fat lady fat lady Float around yeah We did flip it. It's super easy to get fat now. Jennifer Aniston's rail thin and Gwyneth Paltrow. They're all billionaires Yeah, cheeseburgers the 39 cents on Wednesdays. Exactly, mundo. Yeah, even like Oprah keeps trying to lose weight. She's always been, huh?

Always. She's like, she's like comes in. The best of Sherri Shepherd coming out. Do you ever see that one of the few? Sherri Shepherd came out. She lost. She lost all this weight. Oh, is that right? In that orange, like bathing suit. And then like, we did it. She lost all this weight. Oh, is that out in that orange like bathing suit and like we did it

I lost all this weight. They wheeled out a cart of ribs She's in a bathing suit eating ribs getting fat again Jamie Sherry Shepherd's bi. Why would they do that to her? That's such a hater move. It's really funny. It'd be like hey I'm done with alcohol. Let's go Here you go Phil. One year sober. Let's celebrate Damn, hey, I'm done with alcohol. And they'd go, let's go. Here you go, Phil. One year sober, let's celebrate. Damn. Yeah, that Ozempic's taking over. But that's crazy that they did that to her.

Yeah, they're like, you did it, celebrate now. I don't like it. Bro, you remember the time Oprah had that lady on? Stay there. It's an insane crazy. Oprah had that lady on who got her face bit off by the chimp. Stay there. And she showed her face on TV.

Oh, yeah. She had the lady was wearing a veil over her face like, let's see your face. Come on. She pulls the veil away. Like a nope. What are you doing? She should go Muslim. I may as well go Muslim at that point.

Trick a man. Oh. Can you imagine being a good Muslim man? You go, this lady seems cool as shit. Well, she doesn't have any eyes. It's like Jay Leno. She doesn't have any eyes. You can see it coming.

Really? Yeah, her whole face is gone. She's like Jay Leno. She doesn't have any eyes. You can see it coming. Really? Yeah. Her whole face is gone. She's like, you sound like a man for me. Yeah, this is crazy. Right out with it. Oh, was it on? Oh, yeah, she looks good.

Yeah. Thank you, everybody. Now you can eat. Wait, that's Dr. Phil? No. Wow. Sherry's bathing suit body. Damn.

Now you can eat. No you can't. Now you keep not eating. Oprah fluctuates. She's like Elliot Bage. When do they move people off that show? Sherry's not on that show anymore, right? I don't know.

No she's not. She started going back to clubs. 15 years ago. She was one of the real comics. There you go. I knew her as a comic way back in the day. I didn't know who Sherry. Sherry Shepard.

She used to be on the view. Sherry Shepard's a store comic. And then she got on the view for like, I don't know, three to 20 years. Right. Damn. That's a tough gig. Fuck that.

I think the view's gonna get canceled. No, it'll keep going forever. No, the view's fucking killing it right now. They're all spazzing out till late. Yeah, that's true. Well, you're dealing with these two matriarchs, right, the older ladies, to kind of set the tone of the show.

You know, that's part of the problem. They're out of touch. They're out of touch. One of them's pretty hot. Whoopi Goldberg's, like did you see what she did to that Staten Island bakery? Yes. Crazy.

What? Staten Island bakery, their boiler went down and she placed an order of cupcakes for her birthday. And they couldn't do the order. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I can't imagine yet how this would go back. Okay, go ahead. So she places this order. They say, we can't promise you that we can do this because our boiler is down. So we can't, we can't fulfill this order. And so then the next day,

the boiler is back up, she has someone else call the same bakery, and they get the order in because now the boiler is up. She claims the reason why they didn't take her order is because they didn't like her politics. So she says this on the view. So then the bakery has a press conference where they say we've been in business for 150 years this is not what happened at all. We don't discriminate against anybody regardless of anything. We just had a problem with our boiler and she's singing it out of family-run business and then there's a line around the block for the bakery. It's bananas, ever.

And then she doubles down. She made a video and she didn't even apologize. In fact, she said the same thing. I like how they can't even see a possibility where it's just an innocuous idea. Her best was like, wasn't it like the Holocaust? And she was like, that's white people problems. Yeah.

Oh yeah. That's great. Oh yeah, something like that. Well she got kicked off the show for a couple days. That's right. Remember? They were like Oprah, Oprah, or whatever her name was. These people.

Damn, I swear you had a fucking show. I might have sunk over. I told you you were sad. What's going on? These people are just too out of touch to be running that show. Bitch McConnell. Ah.

Wasn't that guy in charge of something now? Didn't they just put Mitch McConnell in charge of something? He's probably. Really? He just did. He's fucking locking up like a Windows 95 computer. He's got the spinny wheel. He just locks up all the time. And they just put this guy, what did they just put Mitch McConnell

in charge of, Jamie? Comedy Central. Something about appointments. Put on Futurama. All things comedy, he's gonna take over. Futurama. They just put this guy what they just put Mitch McConnell in charge of Jamie comedy central Defense spending You run anything by that dude He can't count more of the Senate appropriation subcommittee on defense and chairman of the Senate Rules Committee get him up there That's what we need. Yo that guy locked up twice on TV Oh, yeah, fully locked up like didn't know where he was they had to grab his arm. Take him off. Yeah, you ever see him lock Oh, there. He's got the turkey neck Jamie pull up the video of Mitch McConnell locking up He was like the face of evil for a while watch this video

He just stepped down. He's gonna step down. I thought that he was gonna step down, but he did that This is an old clip. He can't step. Oh, he was old a billion years ago, bro But it's the way he locks up is terrifying. It's like it's almost like the guys having a stroke It's very strange. Maybe the women of the viewer geniuses because we're all talking about it Great Yeah, look at this. Oh, this is great. This week has been good by Barts and Cooperation. Jesus Christ. Oh, no. His lips aren't moving.

But hold on. It's like when a girl eats your ass, you didn't know she was going to. You're like, oh shit. Oh, this is going great. Bro, look at this guy. He's waving back and forth like he's ready to go. They're all looking like what oh He's melting look at the extras. Dude. This is a full lock up. Oh Man

Let's go back to your house Yeah, I'm done. Oh my god New job running shit Megan Rapido That's Emma woman as a top general How bizarre is that that guy just got a new gig? That was that Levine? He's so done Who's running shit? You had it? Oh, there it is. Yeah Jews that's your same juice, but at least should be young Jews own it man your people are

Pelosi's in Italian's timeless Yeah, I think she Pelosi that sounds just got them Italian yams she's got a photo with a JFK back in the day Yeah, she was like a kid. Oh yeah she gave him some head. Damn it I have to pee. I was trying so hard. Hang in there buddy. Nice. I don't make me go soon. Easy fellas. Quit that roughhousing. It was leg. It was leg. It was leg. It was leg. Yeah it's a wacky time to be alive. I can't tell if it's a great time. Oh, it's a great time. Or is it a horrible time. They should just have, as soon as that happens.

It's a great time. If you're at all running a company, which the government is, right? You should be like, oh, hey, no. We're replacing you. There's something wrong. You can't be in charge of anything. Yeah, you're so, it's not like you're young.

We'll give you a pension now. And he did this, like Fetterman had a stroke, came back. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's an old guy. You can't drive, you take away their license if they do stuff like that. 100%, that guy could be at a red light, just locked up. Or just go right into an intersection

and not even know he got his foot off the brakes. You ever be at a red light high and fall asleep and then when you wake up and somebody honks, you go, yeah, I should pull over. Yeah. This is wrong. No. Jesus Christ.

No, me neither, I just heard about people. wrong. No. Jesus Christ. You get older. Me neither, I just heard about people. You ever gone like that? You ever texting for like 20 minutes, you look up, you're like, damn, that was dangerous. Yeah. Holy shit. You know, never.

I use the Apple CarPlay thing. Oh yeah, speak text. Press the text, you say, text Mark Normand. What would you like to say? Write it, Margaret Normasto. It says it back to you, sometimes it fucks it up, which is a real problem. If you have any weird naming Street right something like that won't work that's Bert every time Bert sends a text it's

like what is this he goes oh it's feature checks like or fat fingers yeah or slurring speech to tasks is really easy if you're busy because you can get away with doing it like in five seconds what would take you like 20 minutes to type out. The best was Dana White went to a flip phone so we could feel the buttons so we could have a business meeting. Tell me if I'm wrong.

Yeah, you're wrong. I'm wrong? And text under the table? He definitely texted under the table, but that's not why. He just started out with a flip phone, and when everybody was going to smartphones, he's like, I can just text with my finger.

And he was so busy, he's like, I don't have time for fucking apps. What are you doing? But isn't that t9 that should takes a half hour you can feel the buttons do it without looking He even I were having dinner, and he sent me a text without looking he goes I'm gonna send you a text right now. I don't have to look at my phone was it accurate. It was accurate wow Yeah, it wasn't crazy use like the letter you for you. That's when that shit started that you should drive me crazy Don't do it in the t9 days don't you do it there's two of them now

you son of a bitch even in the t9 days I used y-o-u my even that yeah not you are either while you apostrophe are I don't know if I did that could you even do an apostrophe back then you can yeah you can do it's a four button thing oh yeah we're talking to mr. flip phone I gotta get back there. I gotta go back like the island. Well Dave Attell still on it. That's true Dave has like he types phones The other night he had some killer new he's always timely and relevant always two minutes on white lotus. It was gold What's white lotus? Giant fake cock in it that really tricks me.

Steve's on. Got your heart. Now this is season two. Oh. It's like a real hot guy and he goes in and changes while a girl's... Oh yes. Yeah, did you see Peaky Blinders? Oh, Peaky Blinders rules. How about that scene where that lady's sucking, that guy's sucking that other guy's cock? Pull it up.

Which one was it? I don't remember that. Lady is literally sucking a guy's rubber cock. What? Yeah, there's like an orgy and this lady is, it's either a lady sucking a guy's cock or a guy sucking a guy's cock. 100%. That's Shane's bar mitzvah video.

Oh, can I get a beer? Oh shit, I gotta pee too. Some guy was sucking another guy's cock. Peaky blinders. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna pee too. The Irish movie. You go first. It's gonna be me and Ari.

Yeah, you guys can do it. Yeah, we can do it. I'll hold it. Talk about. I'm gonna be to the Irish movie you go first. It's gonna be me. All right. Yeah, you guys can do it. Yeah Talk about I'm gonna hold it get in there. I'll go I had some I had a few at the Delta Lounge Nice. Oh, you had some So hungover I had to get a B.m. Last night. Oh, yeah, I did a show in Charleston Great cool great crowd. But yeah after it that's a drink in town Norman it's normal got me into the lounge once and I was like, like Oh, I'm gonna drink you said what are you this free drinks? Why Jordan that they have a whole list of free drinks No, it's jewelry that I am. Oh definitely. Yeah, I've seen Norman eat wings off a plate going to the kitchen of the cell Yeah, we had that steak last night at the stand or two nights ago whose steak is it? He's just like let me have a piece a third of it

In his mouth never got caught. Yeah, I don't know whose that was. Hey buy some bodega cat, but everybody well chosen a jitter That was a funny defensive believe in dragons. Yeah Now the view rules what's going on with fight. Yeah, you could have gotten me on Sasquatch. Now the view rules. What's going on with you? You seem fucked up. I know that's the worst thing somebody can say to you, so I do apologize. I don't know. I'm just going to let it go on.

Editing my special. I got a special coming out. January 14th. Netflix.com. What did you drink up a little? Get fired up. Dude, I'm doing whiskey all day. This is my third one. We started before you got there. Oh, shit, you had three drinks? And we started before we started. Yeah.

We started before we started. You're drooling. You're a mess. And we back. Now I gotta wee-wee. We have no leader with Joe Rogan going. We're all floating. Wee-wee.

Things are weird. Yeah, I was just like, what's going on, are you okay? We had nothing. We were things are weird. Yeah, I was just like what's going on you, okay? Is I mean is a fun time it's a fun time it really is you can't it's scary But it's a fun time these times Yeah As long as the war doesn't really break off a real actual hot war if they can stop these motherfuckers from doing that lady keeps She keeps telling me to chill cuz I keep following that what it fucks me that fucking ladies nuclear war book who oh yeah Jacobson yeah fuck me out one from Broad City no yes she this lady wrote a book about

what would happen during a nuclear war yeah but and how it's getting n. But, and how dumb it is, and how quickly it, both have a policy that's like, all right, yes. Like if they think there's a nuke. I was in Cuba, so me and Bobby were researching the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Bay of Pigs while we were there, and man, how close it was with that submarine. Three out of four Russians were like,

we can't talk to Russia. So there must be a reason for that. I bet they're attacked We should launch and one out of the four one guy hold on though the entire world. Let's wait an hour Yeah, cheese. That's how close it was he launched and then America would have to launch but you know I know we're supposed to support the bros, but the guys on the fucking nuclear subs that like they're only they're gonna just destroy the world and then Then what you fucking surface? Yeah, yeah, all right well right? What are you coming back to? Yeah, stay down those longs you coming back to a destroyed world Yeah, don't not not like there's spots you can go to like the whole world's cooked the whole thing's going

Yeah, I don't even know where. Where we're so close, the Russians had to warn the United States they were launching that missile at Ukraine. Yeah, because it would end the world. Yeah. Whoa. Is that why Ellen left? So it's the first time one of those missiles

has ever been used. It's based on an intercontinental ballistic missile, but they call it a mid-range. So it's a mid-range ballistic missile. And it easily could have a nuke on it. So when they launched it, they had to let the United States know that they were launching it, but they didn't say if they had a nuke on it So when they launched it they had to let the United States know that they were launching it But they didn't say if they had a nuke on her or not. Oh really no

shit They said let's Google that because what I read said I thought they had to say they had to have said there's no way Give it a go. Do you think they? This is just a show I I hope that's true. Cause... Is that what ended the fucking world? The thing that I read said that they didn't. I do not know if that's true though. But it's so hard to know what's true and what's not.

There's so many different stories out there. You know what I would like to know, is that footage of those... Do I believe in dragons? Do I not? I think I got you on the sass clutch. It's so hard to know. Bigfoot's real. The video of that missile landing though was that real yeah? Fucking yeah, that was all shit. It's like lightning. Yeah, like it sucked down. Yeah, but it was land

I mean these are like some makes basically Experimental things that's landing now. I truck it up for you now The stuff that we've seen is so small in comparison to the stuff that we have. We have stuff that would wipe out entire shelves of the continent. Let's do it. You would kill everyone in the UK instantaneously.

Good. Just a launch. Get them Brits out. Get them some fluoride first. If they really wanted to go ham, if there was some sort of a real nuclear war and a bunch of them launched, and you hit Chicago with three big missiles with nukes on it, those things are a thousand times stronger than the Hiroshima bombs.

A thousand! Twice would be enough. Let's see what the total is. What is the most powerful ballistic missile that carries a UFO bomb? What can it do? Look at this. Whoa. What?

Whoa. Whoa. Are those real? Nothing's blowing up. It almost looks like the reverse footage of missiles firing. Yeah, it does. Jamie, how much more powerful are today's nuclear bombs than what they use in Hiroshima? It's some insane thing. And how much more powerful is today's weed bombs than what they use in Hiroshima.

And how much more powerful is today's weed than the 70s weed? Don't you think there were some people in the 70s that had the real shit? Probably right? Yeah. Probably. Guys getting cooked. When Jay used to come to LA and he goes, New York weed is as good as LA weed. And my challenger accepted.

And he assumed his weed was good. Do you remember the time? The 70s must have been that a bunch of dors going? Oh this weed is good and the heads were like no no no no every time we fucked up We went to Philly and we fucked up because we disregarded their weed Philly weed Silly Philly weed we got obliterated and we could barely talk on stage heroin We got obliterated it was fun. It was Oh, that's like anything blow. Okay blow out there

So how much bigger is it then Hiroshima? Okay? Rogan's club 15 kilotons for little boy and the Russian ICBM has 800 kilotons. Oh my god. I don't know what that means. That's a lot. It would just suck. It would suck so hard. A hundred, a hundred times. I was looking at those New York maps to see where I lived in Queens.

That's so crazy. Great. We'd just be on fire. We'd be in the fire zone. I would love to be someone, later generations would come to see me like playing video games. Jack it off. Frozen. Jack it off, yeah.

Oh yeah, Pompeii. Yeah, Pompeii, Jack it off guy. That's true. A couple of those guys were gay. How do you know? Pull it off. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Pompeii. Yeah, Pompeii jackal guy. That's true couple of guys were gay How do you know pull it up? No? They were trying to say they were gay because it just want a long way Abraham Lincoln Dying in the middle of a fucking furnace of ass we may as well try some cock Don't you think they just hug each other? I mean, what would you do with your friends?

We're not hug you I would not hug any of you know what the happen think they just hug each other me what would you do with your friends with I would not hug you I would not hug any of you know what to happen you would call to each other. Let's hug There's a dog like a mid run You would cling to each other you fucking you'd be all cooking together I can use a instantaneously Oh She's eating her out. It could have been some guy just hanging out with his friend too you fuckheads What leave him a little bit of mom and a daughter, but it wasn't everybody gay back then though Why do you students love putting gay on everybody?

Nice Nice cock dude. Nice. Home to an open atmosphere surrounding sexuality and sex. Uncut. Multiple depictions of penises and sexual acts in statues and wall paintings. Oh, maybe they were gay. Thank you. How about maybe everybody was gay back then? Maybe it's like Afghanistan. He's like that Spartan guy from Sigoura's podcast.

Look at that guy. Why not go gay? What do you got to lose? There's no cameras. Alexander the Great was not gay. What? Come on. I thought he was gay. Not gay. Big L. How do you know? There's no record of him being gay, but he put up some statues of bros. How about that Rasputin cock? So what is the rumor for him being gay? What's it come from? Came from the movie Alexander. No way. Really? That he was just gay the whole movie? Really? Somebody had to be gay back then though. Yeah. No way really just gay the whole movie really somebody had

Yeah, they were all good. Well if did he was I mean is it like did he gay or is it like a real guy? It's power guy it was did he get I was having orgies It's unknown if Alexander the Great was gay, but historians believe he likely had relationships with men so he might not engage as he fucks dudes What it's just like you're so sick of these Joe Bayhars that you're like let me just fucking do If it was three whoopie Goldberg Alex there the great he's getting fucked Yeah, he's like I can talk to the guy ancient Greece many men engaged in same-sex relationships without shame Yeah, I think everybody was gay back then why not? They can say that about us then Who's gay back then why not?

This is a blip that goes up and it's gonna come down guys, that's what it's like Yeah guys sucking each other all over the place I don't know. I saw that Jaguar Ed. There's always gonna be a certain just killed Jaguar like fucking kid rock kill Bud I mean, were they doing? What was that? What was that? You didn't see the Jaguar ad? I got most of my news from being on this podcast. The Jaguar, good, this is reliable. I'm like ABC News.

The Jaguar ad is the fucking craziest speech. The guy gives a speech like it's four years ago. Like he's in the throes of the fucking BLM movement and like the the wokenest of woke times really should be wearing a mask when he does this speech here we go find the speech the ad is ridiculous this yeah this is Jaguar what is this the Olympic sports cars all right what's not so bad it's kind of cool yeah what is that little cars like colors well this is just weird which is all right I like weird target

Okay. Yeah, but I'm asking for the press conference that Megan Rapinoe So the press conference is where the guy starts to talk the ad is just weird but in the press conference a guy talks about how inclusive they want all diverse and this is You got wrong ones Jacksonville Jaguar shout out Gabe Davis And a bunch of nonsense and the way the way they say it it's just like what are you selling cars or not? Why are you selling this political ideology? I thought you made sports. You ever see century of the self. Yeah Oh, yeah, they're no longer selling that thing that has Adam Kurtz They're no longer selling the thing that has Adam Curtis. They're no longer selling the thing that has the value. So like pianos stop going from like, this is a good Steinway piano with good sound,

to this will bring your family together. And when you see the guy from fucking True Detective going, the freedom I get from driving on the road, it's like that's got nothing to do with your motor. They're selling that to everybody on every front. It's like Subaru made with love. Right, but this thing you're selling, this thing you're selling is not your audience yeah your audience is oh dude

the Jaguar coops are fucking badass they're pretty cool they're badass they make that's the problem they're badass for guys like us the Jaguar is always in the shop that was the that was the that's true the new ones are more reliable about every single car I think the new ones are owned by Ford, actually. They bought them. Yeah. The new Jaguars, the V8 coupe is a fucking beast. Wait, Ford did this?

It's an amazing car. I don't know. I think this is a different. They hired a guy. Did you find the press conference? Uh-oh. J-Mo's drunk. Scrubbed it.

Kamala scrubbed it. Every time I type it in, it's just people complaining, like making videos complaining about it. I can't find it. Nah. I guarantee you can find it. You've got to go to Reddit. Remember the Trump drover organ episode? Kamala's crowd type it in it's just people complaining like making videos complaining Remember the Trump Drogon episode you searched Joe Rogan Donald Trump and it was like a bunch of fucking reaction videos came up first They made it impossible to find the video and we had to complain and they said was an accident

Yeah, but like how did this accident happen? They wouldn't say See, here's the thing like maybe there's a way that you can but this is me completely speculating Okay, but maybe there's a way like I don't like Ari Shafir And I don't some sort of a very well known Yeah, I run sort of a super pack or I think our sphere has a podcast that's dangerous Yeah, and it might but I might be able to do something by mass complaining about your podcast, like mass flagging it. Like if I have a bot system and I can get like a million

people to mass flag your video, maybe it gets put into a category where it's more difficult to find. They do that? I'm just imagining if I ran a company and it was potentially like a beheading taliban video and he got mass flagged you'd want it really hard to find so you would hide

the actual title of it you'd make it so it's difficult search now i guess i'm just being is charitable spot out there that's what i could imagine so i'll probably will say i don't want people to know that that's possible so when you ask them how did it happen they don't think they want people to know that that's possible. So when you ask them, how did it happen, they don't give you a straight explanation. Because if that's the case, and this is again, completely me speculating. But if I'm speculating, you find out that that's a thing, and I bet somebody does know

it's a thing, if it is a thing, they definitely aren't publicly known. Because then, all these other foreign countries, anybody who wants to stifle any kind of news story, anything, could just start using this process to hijack no i just have a common to public fire it's like the videos that nothing to do with it go lower because people just like let's just flag so you have like you said thousand people flagging it the box goes but this is probably problematic yeah and they don't they don't have the time to be searching everything the amount of shit that gets posted every second on YouTube is mind blowing.

Yo, can we talk about that Trump speech? About going, we're not going to do that shit anymore? Oh yeah, that was nice. That's the only one I've tried to explain to people. Like what? I've tried to, in the kindest way possible. And this is what I've come up with. When I make fun of the dead golden girl, they can't ban me for bullying anymore.

Betty White? Yeah, they'll have to go, that's definitely not bullying, we won't ban your account. You can actually get an answer. But I want to hear what he said, because it was so, it hit me up. What he said is that you cannot have censorship on social media sites, and you can have the government interfering with free speech. I don't see the reason I said this video anywhere. I only find-

I watched the video, Jay. I'm not saying you didn't, I'm just saying I can't find it. Okay, well keep looking. You need some regularly, you can't have faces of death up there. Keep looking, because I know you can find it. It only shows that this is the source of it, it's the Financial Times. It says it was an interview. Yeah, but I watched it on Instagram.

I did too. I typed it all over the place. I'm not seeing it. Did you type it on Instagram? Jaguar ad? Yep. Or Jaguar press conference? Yep? I typed in the guy's name damn do they scrub it Maybe that's crazy. They might wow Do you see they scrub Jeffrey Epstein's connections to Bill Clinton off of Clinton's Wikipedia boy Clinton slippery really he's good Yeah, yeah, don't get changed my Wikipedia to Ari doesn't have any juggle

But he's hidden it among his friends. How the fuck do I know boy? You can't find it Jamie. You're right Also, the only people in Jaguar and that guy's name literally says no results. This is crazy Video it must have been such a desire. They must be so terrified of things like this of people I gots talking about it. Shane's about to get into the sponsorship. Yeah. See if he can find his quotes. So get his quotes, Shane. I've always loved Jaguar. Bud Light and Jaguar.

Drinking and driving. Look at those freaks. That's crazy. They look like aliens. Jaguar managing director, how do you say his name? Rawdun Lover. Crazy, bro. Hold on.

That's kind of cool. He said in an interview with the Financial Times, the intended message had been lost in a blaze of intolerance on social media And denied that the promotional video was intended as a woke statement fuck you It wasn't Joe if you put his name together. It's raw dong lover You ever think about that Brand and a completely different price point as a tweet I saw that Think about that. That's what we're thinking about. Oh, I don't think about that at all. Dong lovers. He just blew my mind. We need to reestablish our brand and add a completely different price point.

That was a tweet, I saw that. Oh, okay. I was high credit, I'm not that quick. It did seem a little too smart. Look at this, we need to move away from traditional automotive stereotypes. Glover said that while the overall buzz of the new campaign had been very positive,

look, that ad didn't bother me at all. I thought the ad was cool. It's cool. The things that he was saying, vile, hatred, and intoleranceance in the comments regarding the individuals that appear in the video well that I don't agree with but what I do agree with was the things that he was saying were like crazy like you're supposed to be a car company tell me how awesome your car is what are the quotes though that's not

that's not his quote you gotta look at Matthew McConaughey talking about Lincoln it's got nothing to do with the car it's's the same shit. They all do the same shit Press conference, there's no car Okay, but this was a guy on stage that was saying all these crazy things. Yeah, that's what everybody exploded about That's what you can't find you can still find that commercial because the commercials cool Like I don't give a fuck if you want people paint it up and dancing in a commercial. It's visually interesting Yep, it like Apple. But now, Jamie, Google Jaguar top of the line coupe, whatever it is, the V8 coupe. Jamie, type in 8008 on the-

You call them coupes? The top of the line, whatever their fucking new one is. Is it called coupe? Do you actually, is that how you're supposed to say it? That thing is a beast. Is it not coupe? Give me some volume so I can hear what this to say it? That thing is a beast dude. Is it not coupe? Give me some volume so I can hear where the sound's coming from. Hold on a second, time out.

Is it not coupe? They say coupe in England. It's like Porsche. Yeah, exactly. See if you can find one that has sound, because the thing sounds fucking incredible. It's a good looking ride. It's like a Datsun 280SX.

Yeah. What are you talking about? What do you mean? Go to a videos Jamie. What do you mean? You hear this thing. Yeah, it's what I mean go to videos You hear this thing not this this is the type of car that you're you're not gonna everybody Give me some like go to where they're driving it Here we go right there, okay Go to where they drive Let's go to the woods where no one can see us. Let's test the steering

Throttle house I'm excited with electricity. It was an amazing car rear end me. That's all I have to say I would have bought one before that press conference Well, the 69 Jaguar is like the most coveted collectible. Well, it's a coveted collectible It's not drove one of those. Let me drive one of those for a while. Elon used to have one of those really Cool. This is at the long front end. Yes. Yeah, they're interesting There's a company that takes them and makes them resto mods now So they make them drivable so you could drive one today and don't feel like you're gonna die every time you hit the brakes

Yeah, they're unreliable try right if you drive in a 1969 car today fucking garbage I got a 73 Guy this is the guy says head of marketing fuck Listen to what this guy says Mateo's up there telling us what to do? And at Jaguar we're passionate about our people and we're committed to fostering a diverse, inclusive, and unified culture that is representative not only of the people who use our products, but of society in which we all live. Why the Harry American man? Yeah. Because he's got a great shirt on.

He's dominating in that shirt. He's like George Michael. What? But we're trying to sell a car! Motors! Tires! Action. They're activists. Yo, what's up, bro?

Women in engineering and neurodiversity matters This is so it's kind of Bud Lighting transitionary at work Transitioning at work Tranny fluid oh my god. It's so crazy that has nothing to do with the product. That's what I'm saying It's crazy. This is what you're doing. You're pushing an ideology on a bunch of people that just want cool cars like what hey I don't disagree with any of those things I want everybody to be happy, but shut the fuck up when you're selling what am I buying? I think personally like the annoyances like that level of like

politicizing a brand That's like a big company. Yes, Jack on the right the only the only time you see like a right wing It's fucking my pillow. Yeah, right literally fucking gold coins in my pillow Those are the guys giving speeches are like this country we need a fucking It's like fuck my I mean fuck those guys it's fine but when it's a major company and they're like we are gay fuck you yeah the most he listed eight things and not one of one was the steering wheel right well letting their employees be their authentic self what does that even mean letting them be

there are so you you're putting that Tomorrow when I get that For three days they come back at you putting that above making a good car And that's all anybody gives a fuck about yeah, you guys are stupid. Well Boeing Boeing cut out the DI Well, they're all cutting it out because it's killing their business. It's what killed the Democrats. We could use a little on this show Killing their business. It's what killed the Democrats. We could use a little on this show Couple old honkeys talking shit. He puts the glasses on because he doesn't like what he just said Gonna get a bright Simpsons Cathy Griffin something

That poor lady Trump head Cathy Griffin got the raw deal That was a while when that was that trumpet especially when she had been on the fucking show. That's what's even crazier. She was on The Apprentice. Was she really? Yeah. I don't know.

She was a guest. But it's like, wasn't she? Wasn't Kathy Griffin on The Apprentice? But who took her out? Which side took her out? The right. The right. The right.

The right. The right is such, a lot of more as gay as the left The woke right they call it the world right? Yep, Kathy Griffin says Donald Trump smelled really bad on the apprentice. Yeah, okay It's fun. I bet Kathy Griffin didn't still smell that great. Yeah, she's no pretty better So I could smell you over me. Yeah, I was from an award show that they sponsored those called the Attitude Awards What's what was that? Jaguar Jaguar. Oh, so he's just there to speak about awards. What's what was that? Jaguar. Oh, so he's just there to speak about that. He's talking about that That's the problem too. Like we're hearing it about Jaguars, but he's just there to speak to that audience

Yeah, which is either way. Yeah, you're still you're publicly addressing the you know, you Jaguar like you're representing Jaguar But I mean if we're talking about like the fucking the abacore wars and we talk about Tony's Thrones and it's like What about his comedy like that's not we're doing here today Yeah, if I went to the gay fucking arena show, I'd be like Jaguar is gay. Yeah I'm trying to sell yeah, everyone's gay Online right and then Always the problem is when it's shown to an audience that's not your intended audience, right? Yeah, Tony, they're just here to perform for these exactly. It's like the Daniel Tosh joke The problem is when it's shown to an audience that's not your intended audience. Right. Same with Tony.

Same with Tony. I'm just here to perform for these people. Exactly. It's like the Daniel Tosh joke. They took it out and put it on the news. Right, but the thing is we don't want a company to be attached to anything like that. We don't want a company. We want a company to just sell cars.

I don't want you to get politically active. No. It's frustrating. I don't want it on either side. If Ford was like really heavy on right-wing issues and constantly chirping about right-wing politics and Christianity People drove people to abortions and fours shut the fuck up Yeah, you know like shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear it I want you to sell cars, but I get if that guy's there to speak to those people

But the thing is he's speaking as they did That's what I was arguing about the Budweiser can't had a gay can Every single one. Yeah, well, they sponsored pride. Yeah, I mean the pride for price Yeah, all of them. Yeah. We all like gay guys. Of course, they're funny as hell. That's great. Because of shit.

Well, I hate any kind of discrimination. And imagine being gay and all of a sudden someone's telling you you can't be gay. Like, well, Ben Shapiro had the craziest take on it. Ben Shapiro, he thinks you should treat it like you treat not murdering somebody. It's like it's a sin. There's a lot of things you want to do.

Oh, that's the old Jewish thing. It's you treat it like gluttony, drunkenness, or whatever. You just got caught with that desire. You should overcome it. What do you Jews do to... First of all, relax with you. What do the Jews do? When you Jews are involved in gay activities, do you keep it on the hush hush?

Yeah, they literally dig underground. Do you dig underground? That's for storage. Is that what the tunnels are for? No, that's for storage. Even dudes. That's for storage. For storing bloody mattresses. Yeah. That's for storage. But no, we keep it hush hush. Why are you studying mattresses with gist stains all over them? Why are you storing that? Why? How come you ever burn that? That's not it. Listen, there's plenty of your Shiva rabbis who are fucking kids. They report them. They go to jail sometimes. Sometimes they cover it up because they got the checks and balances.

Exactly. You guys are all fucking kids. But wait a minute, isn't they cover it up. It's always the Catholics, they always blame the Catholics. Exactly! But wait a minute, isn't it more Catholic stuff? It's way more Catholic stuff. I think teachers fuck more kids than priests now. Girl teachers. Yeah, the girl teachers in Florida. Girl teachers are getting it.

They just busted another lady. See? I'm sure she was hot as fuck. I bet she was. I bet she got busted. I bet she was. Big old tatties. The priest is creepy.

I bet she was awesome. Crazy look in her eye. It's all about boy sex or girl sex. Jamie bring up some hot ladies. Jamie search pornhub.com use a VPN for that. Jamie bring up some hot child rapist females. I think this lady had, she had the kid porn on her computer too. Oh the Asian. This is her.

Not bad. Oh no not Asian. Dude you would work for that at a bar. These girls are hot what are they doing? Because they want to fuck the guy that they couldn't fuck in high school. That's Adriana Bellucci's joke. Adriana Bellucci. Is that what she says?

How bad are men that women have to turn to a fucking 14 year old boy to fulfill their desires? This wasn't happening in the 80s though. I think they see a guy that's gonna be a stud and they say I wanna get him first. Look at that teacher. Look at that lip hug. Love a lip bite.

Oh my God, bite that lip with those glasses on. God damn. You dirty lady. Wow. Tell me about scripture. Do you have your magic underwear on? Set it loose. And the kids are into it.

So that makes it also okay. Yeah. The kids are hard as a rock. They can come 30 times a day. And they become prom king after this. You're the most popular kid in the city. Yeah, but they got big mouths, these fucking kids. Yeah, well, I would duck.

That's what it is. She made sex tapes. 28 of them. Bold. Bold. With a 13-year-old. What a wild bitch. Man. Yeah, well, that's what it is. She made sex tape 28 old whoa With a 13 year old what a wild bitch Missouri goes asking other students to keep watch She was asking other kids to watch while she banged a kid fuck the other way wait wait wait wait Just watching it

Other kids to watch out look One I'm one teacher they were on the lookout who's this lady holding a fish dude if she fucked the kid I'm gonna keep it all the kids. That's her man. Look at her, Florida middle school always Florida always Florida 14 year olds Yes, ma'am. You did it. You did it. Good job with the fish and the legs to me jamos that lady goes to the gym She's a freak. She can't take it man. She's she's born to be wilds not a hot male Bro she's always got a fucking can of alcohol in her hand Like that Vegas senator did they go to jail these girls She's like that Vegas senator. Did they go to jail these gals? I hope not Please sweat them back out. J-Vo was getting in there, J-Vo was picking the hottest one. Just bleach their hair and change their name. J-Vo's got a rock heart.

Got that mustache and ponytail, you're a fucking sex pervert. He bookmarked it. You're fucking finding the hottest rapist teachers. Jesus Christ. Well if it's consensual. Just dye your hair, change your name. Move her around like they move around those Catholic priests. That's what I say. Do a bumper sticker like the honor roll.

Move her around like they move those Catholic priests. They should have a new division of the Trump administration. Just move freaks around. To some kids who don't know how to write. That'll motivate you. Yeah, get some kids who know how to keep their fucking mouth shut. We found a group of boys who really understand that I keep keep a fucking secret these little rats. This is Billy Madison Touch the high knee yeah

That nice lady sucked your dick when we got locked up in a cage Veronica Vaughn so hot there's so many of them and they're hot They're all hot. That's what's crazy. Also these kids can get a boner There's so many of them and they're hot. They're all hot. That's what's crazy. Also these kids can get a boner. Oh, a lot of boners. You can't get a boner. That's a thing.

They get a lot of boners. They know wrong is right. I lost my Virginia to like a 50-something year old and I think she was just like, I need a guy who can get hard. What's his name? Nice, Rogan. There we go. Nice.

You're on the map, baby. We're back. That's what we do. It's good to have you back. Thank you. That's what we do. Jamie, what type of music are we going gonna listen to while we bung these beers? something without a copyright Born to be wild

I think we need to hear that Jamie give me that Find a cover get a cover version. Oh wait are we gonna play music? Yeah, we're gonna do it on Spotify Oh, we released these only on Spotify so we can still go wild. No Yeah, that's what we do now didn Didn't we disagree? Yes. Can we do clips on YouTube? Yeah, that's what clips are. Israel! Palestine! Fuck yeah! Whoa! Coming soon to save the motherfucking day, yeah! Yes. Fuck yeah! Yeah! What a country! What a country! What a country. Merry Christmas. Were you guys happy when Trump won? No.

Lies! I'll tell you what. You wouldn't work for Netflix, Doug. Uh, no. I, uh, it was funny because I've done it the last three times with Trump. The first time he won, I've never voted. I don't vote. Same. Me neither. So I wasn't like, I still have that, but I didn't think I wanted Trump to win until he won

The first time and then when he won I was like Tell you what me and Bobby didn't find out who won till Saturday Bobby Kennedy Bobby Kelly Oh and I am feeling in New York a liberal area a calmness. Yeah, they're all chill They took a day daddy some they took they took like a day to be like Not feeling it. I'm feeling a sense of kind of relief Yeah, I'm not I'm just like I was an observer gotta know they're out of control Well people were more mad at Tony than the whole Trump winning. It felt like that's gonna Say if you go cowards and anyone, you go Tony Hinch,

they go, do you remember that? I don't know. Right, right. That's just our world. He's easy to hate. That's true. Especially if you don't know him. He's trying.

He's trying to get hated. He likes being hated. He's a villain in a pro wrestling show. He's a heel, and the heels went wide, and it became a different vibe. Yeah. When it was stone cold, I I think goes in Kansas City and goes Kansas City your women are all ugly and your barbecue tastes like ketchup and

cardboard cold I think so yeah better not and he's just healing it's fun and that's what Tony likes to do but it's like if you're one of those people that's not doing well, and you see this guy selling out Madison Square Garden in 40 minutes, you're like, what the fuck? People get mad, they get angry. David Taylor said this, he's heard it so well, he goes, all the comics got mad,

I'm not gonna say any names. You know them, the ones that got mad at Tony, because they spent eight straight years trying to be politically relevant, and none of them could really do it, and they were earnest while they were doing it and then Tony with some jokes became the national talking point of politics and it tore them apart mmm that's that's a damn Tony should flip it he goes if you hate me you're

homophobic yeah thank you he's not no he's somehow against all odds these are cold these are cold You don't need to Jamie gonna go with us. I want to hear born to be wild Jamie Jamie Jamie Jamie Jamie Jamie Jamie put on fucking born to be wild Jamie looks like the my pillow guy now Jamie does look like Mike Lindell. That's the name. Wait, wait on it. Wait for the hook. Hahaha. Hahaha. Foul your guns at once and

exploded to space like. Keep it going Jamie. I'm gonna air a couple of these out. I'm gonna warm a couple of these out. You gotta do it. You haven't finished it? So cold!

No, Mark takes ten minutes with this shot. I'm a liquor guy. This is your cold plunge. Come on. Fire all your guns at once and explode into space. Like a true nature child. We were born, born to be wild we can find a time

never more to die sorry but let it out born to be wild you imagine not being American how fucking gay you are you're Jaguar gay you're fucking Jaguar gay I take back all I said about the Jaguar I take back all I said about the Jaguar guy I kind of see the point now that I realize it was a big old pride meeting

Yeah, yeah, he was speaking correctly for that environment. He was doing what Tony did just a problem And it was given to the wrong guy. Yeah fucking like oh Tony. I mean I love I love him too We all love Tony. He's fine. We get on stage now It's like fucking Richard Pryor just arrived Good that's what he needed I introduced him a couple of times like right after it was happening the pop was fucking insane I got legitimately distressed over comedians coming after comedians. I really bothered me. Yeah, it's a bar Yeah, I'm like Santa Claus.

I'm making a list, checking it twice. Of course, but also, who's Nadia on? How are you surprised by this? Comedians across the board are fucking dildos. I don't feel like they used to be. They still, we keep talking about a time that I've never been around when it existed.

That's the LA Times. The LA Times in the peak, it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that. They would shit on us being dirty, but not publicly. I was never around. No, it was fun. The LA Times where the peak it wasn't like that it wasn't like that they would shit on us being dirty But not I was never around it was fun the LA Times for everybody went woke like 2014 2018 It was fun the LA Times the LA Times when we were in LA When you filmed your special you filmed your special in 2014 I came back to the store It was popping it was popping and it was super positive for a long time

The only thing that would get you on is you're too lowbrow all right But it wouldn't be a public admonishment of your material social media fuck that up Well, it's also like people don't feel like they're getting enough attention for what they're doing I don't know again. I'll say again. I was never around when the comedians were positive Mmm, you were in the wrong spot. If you were with us in LA it was all this verse mainstream I wasn't even doing it all first main New York was pretty positive, but in New York We hung out with the all people people like yes They were mad at us for being better than them and we're mad at them for being witty

Well, the thing was we were free. We were free. We could do the stuff still that they did when they used to do. If you go back to like Patton's earlier albums, he'd get cancelled for a lot of those bits. Oh the retard bit? He's got a bunch of- But also all we saw was- They're funny. All we saw with Patton was so tag heavy. Yeah well he's a great comic. He's a great comic and especially back then when he was free. His KFC bullshit was great. It was like, God damn this stuff's set up. Tac, tac, tac, tac, tac, tac, tac. You know what I said to him once, it is totally true.

He's like the best I've ever seen at making a premise work where I would have never imagined. He'd take a premise and he'd be like, where's he going with this? I can't believe this is working. That was crazy. Calling his TiVo retarded? When his daughter called someone at starbucks a monkey yeah Great bits, he's great. They're killer bits He's funny, but you get captured man You're on a bunch of other fucking cowards and everyone's like back stabbing everybody and there's this like weird compliance thing we have to

Completely adhere to an ideology 100% hook line and sinker or you're cast out as a Nazi. Yeah. But he doesn't because his true self is, oh cool Chappelle wants me there, I'll do it all. But isn't that why we got into this? We got into this to be free and wacky. We got into this to hang out with our friends. But you gotta have a bunch of people like us. You have a bunch where we're all friends and we all are free. And if you don't have that, you don't know what the fuck to do bro. I barfed in Shane's blame that on O'Connor Connors like you probably bro that you were so drunk

Was like were you here like you get my present When you just can't fess and shit in that Tupperware and they opened it up, I gagged watching the video. He showed me the video. Legion of Skanks. Legion of Skanks. What did I say? Skankfest, I just shit on stage. I'm done now. That was the heights. How did you get the note in the turd? Shoved it up my butt. Whoa. Jesus, son. Shoved it up my butt, wrote in.

You know Gigi Allen sucked? Oh, musically, yeah. Me too. Comedically, I've got nothing but that butt shot. That butt shot on number one. You're a prop comic now. You're shitting on stage. He's the only shit comic. If somebody tries to shit on stage, they're like, oh, you're stealing from Arnie. Oh, yeah.

You can't take your shirt off anymore, you're Bert Kreischer. Right. There was a bunch of guys who used to take their shirts off, right? There has to be your turd crisis I can't believe that Bert was the only guy in the history of stand-up take his shirt off on stage He's the only one who did it two times in a row right and then 1,000 times in a row right like Did Joey ever take a shirt off on stage? It took his whole clothes off. I know just bottoms just bottoms kept his top on Okay, well, it's so there's gotta be a

There's gotta be a person other than Burt. Is it possible that Burt invented taking your shirt off when you do your set? Probably. Janet Jackson. Who would? Yeah. There's an old, this is not happening,

but I think it's his last recorded set with his shirt on. Really? Pull it up. Well every time he used to do the O.R., he used to leave his shirt up. Cause he felt like the O.R. It was like too real there. He felt bad when he took his shirt off.

Minnesota, Penn State pull up the score. Now he takes his shirt off every time he gets on stage. He's like you're trapped. He gives away his shirts. He throws them to the crowd. I don't think he's even trapped doing it. I think he's Stopped if he wanted to. It's also it's also like the crowd likes it. He likes it. Who cares? Yeah, yeah, what happens if he gets ripped? That'll likes it okay Yeah, yeah, what happens if he gets ripped that'll never happen. Oh, yeah, what happens? What Christ you get ripped if he if he finds his true self? He's on the tee if he gets under 300 pounds. It's a massive coupe Jamie I was expecting the golden gophers and states oh I like that oh I never forgot what they did Penn State never forget what happened they raped a bunch

that's right how crazy is that they covered how crazy is they covered that up forever the best was saying doesn't going well I can't just live next to her children's school If you look into that one though, that's one that's like yeah conspiracy one what I mean well That's the process that's not one guy he was running. It was called second mile foundation was a bunch of kids It was for like it was like Boys Town in the What's the thing from Nat, Nebraska? Well whatever He was running like a child yeah, yeah, he was he was running like second mile was for like kids without

parents were tell It was and he it was yeah, he dead Sandusky no, he's still kicking really really it's in prison though. He's in prison. I'm sure I didn't get him because they hate child But he's too old though Oh, what are you talking about? They would kill him. Yeah. Yeah, I'll kill anybody if he got a general population I mean he might be protected. Yeah, he's probably protected. Maybe they're playing football protect our pervs I heard I heard somebody somebody what's the Lee was was a Harvey Oswald dating somebody who worked in prisons She's talking about Pe she goes and she goes

And she goes All a celebrity at all screech level gets watched a thousand minutes a day and for Epstein to be unwatched is Undoable. Well, so that was under that was under the Trump administration. Yeah. When Epstein got killed. Wow. Listen, it didn't matter what administration. That is some very powerful people. It's nothing to do with who's the president.

No, I know, but he, you know. Why hasn't that come out? Not a word. Not a list. Not a thing. Nothing. Well, Jizz is still there. Yeah, what's going on with that? And I would imagine it's not going to either. No, I didn't. He's just lame. either. No, I mean

Trump gets an office the abstain. Yeah. Yeah, right. He's gonna tell himself. Yeah It was fun We would have all gotten on that plane let's be honest and the reality is They were running that for a long time There's probably a whole network of connected powerful people that told you it was cool Nothing's gonna come of it. We're gonna have a good time and go to the island meet You probably no one probably told you these girls are 16 all you knew is girls there It was also some like a don't say designed to be the coolest thing parties Yeah, yeah, same kind of situation you get there you get loose

First of all celebrities do not feel comfortable unless they're around people that are like them so let us yeah If you're Jamie Foxx like Jamie Foxx is cool when he's around Kevin Hart because Kevin Hart is famous, too Yeah, he's taking a photo. Oh, so you know these people that are like super powerful world leaders What's their fucking peer group other? Super powerful world leaders then the mix in a bunch of scientists? And a bunch of like very influential intellectual people that are interesting to hang out with yeah And then you get a free trip to an island you're partying and then they're telling you it's cool We do this all the time

It's like imagine you're Clinton you go to a manC.'s house and get the Clinton picture up. It's like imagine you're Clinton, you go, hey man, what's the picture? What the fuck is that all about? I bet there was some above age sex too. Where like, and like, wait, what's going on in that room? Like, you're not cool, you wouldn't get it. 100%. I'm sure there's a bunch of ladies,

the whole thing is just, they're all married guys. They're all married guys. You're all in trouble. You're all busted Also, if you're fucking a bunch of girls, and you're supposed to be some guy who talks about physics no I don't want to listen to you about physics. I got a video of your dick You like dick pleasure unlike me I don't I don't So there's all these people that are hypocrites that are judging a bunch of people that went to this fucking island that you would Have went to two especially if you didn't know what the fuck was going on and you're some dork who teaches complex mathematics Yeah, Princeton and you know money. You're looking for a funding for this Hey, there's gonna be some rich guys. Oh shit

Epstein would fund science he funded a bunch of different science projects Well designed trap yeah trap literally any human on earth Israelis know what they're doing right Ari. Yeah, they do know what they're doing that do that pager thing was That was diabolical slick great. It was Symbolical slick great. It was appreciate that James Bond I mean you told you I go from like they're gonna buy from this site It was what a fucking win the packages who buys a pager All everything was compromised because in today's day with Pegasus these Israelis have Pegasus They listen to any phone they want they listen to your phone my phone anybody's phone they want to

Even when your phone is off they can listen to it. Yeah These murders would take their phone with them to bury a body Dumbass leave it at home leave that phone at home. They can't help but check the cat. Yeah They're addicted to the reals, but the P. Diddy why can't we get anything concrete? Oh, we really have the hotel hallway beat ass that one that one is in the process He's in jail there's a lot going on a lot of lawsuits that one is like we're gonna find out Jamie Foxx just recently said that P Diddy poisoned him. Whoa, I got that stroke. I've heard that He said it he said it got poisoned

He said it he goes. I didn't have a heart attack for his of the vaccine It was did he shutting me up see you can find that cuz he said it on stage Bro, I think there was some crazy shit going like Cosby shit like drugging There's there's alleged, a bunch of people that got pneumonia, a bunch of convenient people that died of pneumonia. Jamie Foxx addresses whether Diddy was responsible or it's 123 hospitalization while filming Netflix special.

Holy shit. Jamie Foxx has a Netflix special? He talked about it on his Netflix special. Did they not care about at all stand up? Jamie Foxx is hilarious. Audience members, hold on, go back. Oh, I see him at clubs all the time, working out his bits. What is that share story?

I only respect grinders. The audience members had varying accounts of the comedian's words. Two of them claimed that Foxx said Diddy was responsible for what happened to him, that he's the one who called the FBI on Diddy, who's currently in prison awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges.

A source close to Diddy insisted to Daily Mail that there is no truth to Sean Combs putting Jamie Foxx in the hospital. There's no chance that was a joke? I mean, yeah, it was a joke, but a joke based on truth or not truth? It is possible. That's totally possible. I trust Daily Mail. That's totally possible, but it's also possible he was explaining while he wound up going to the hospital and he hasn't talked about it since. He never talked about it. Look at homie CC a celebrity security guard claimed in an interview with cam component news last week that Fox was Poisoned by Diddy. I know combs poisoned Jamie Foxx and Jamie Foxx reported him to the FBI because of it

Jamie Foxx reported this man because to the FBI because of this he claimed so I've seen that video where that guy's talking about how Jamie Foxx Was poisoned three times I think in it. Oh he said it as well. He says like why do I have cyanide in my system? Why do I Jamie Foxx wipes away tears as he gives his artistic explanation of Mystery illness I love tears in a comedy special. That's how we fall into clickbait. What is that? Artistic explanation of mystery illness.

I know, we're on a weird site and that's how you fall into clickbait. Oh boy. So I don't know if it's true, we won't know until we see the actual Jamie Foxx Netflix special, which Ari has bookmarked. He's ready to go.

Yeah. Did you see the Rosie O'Donnell, like a bunch of stuff before we're talking about it? She looks like Steve Bannon. hers just making jokes over the years about diddy and him going to jail and what he's doing wrong It was like it was like Cosby was like Yeah, it was like we all they all knew about it, but you can't quite talk about it Meanwhile all these people is a compilation in Europe. That's right. How wild is that? Like Ellen just moved to England like see ya Well better health care

Is he talking about it here pull it up this is December 10th That's why I couldn't get a December date. He's a talent guy was wow it's called what happened was That's gonna be a big one. It might be like a one-man show rather than stand up Yeah, if they make a trailer like that, that's like what happened. He's like I got drugged by both of them Right So funny Gonna win a Grammy So I wake up and I'm sucking LeBron's dick

I don't know how I got here Another guy scared of China LeBron? Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah Although I was talking with my friends earlier I don't think LeBron LeBron doing the only famous guys that never got hit with a pedophile fucking accusation He might have never had a child The bronze my easy as that one might be the man Did you ever say fake reading Malcolm X's book?

Interviews he shows up with a book He's in the locker rooms. just can't put his book down. I defend him on that. We've all done that. I've read the first chapter of every book on earth. Have stuff on our bookshelf. I went over to Callan's house once and he had something like Catcher in the Rye sitting on his coffee table.

I go, you're not reading that. I go, you have that out there when girls come over. He goes, you're right. He goes, how did you know? I go, you scumbag. I go, that's so obvious. That's such a fucking stork. You he goes you're right yeah he goes how did you know he's come back I go that's like so obvious it's also a serial killer book every year I was so nutty when I first when I first visited him when I first started hanging out with him he didn't have a lock on his door and someone

broke his doorknob off and he left it off and so like he didn't have anything he had like clothes and a couple of books that he pretended to read. A lady, a homeless lady, walked into his apartment while he was sleeping and was cooking breakfast. He goes downstairs, he smells something cooking. He goes downstairs, there's a homeless lady in his kitchen cooking. She's like, you got it going on, honey. Look at all the stuff you got here. He's like, you have to leave.

What? Calum was wild. Damn. He didn't even have a doorknob his door knob was broken up there was a hole in the doorknob area we could just push open the door so he would just shut that door and go to sleep in Venice damn that's a story but like you're gonna die he's got to be careful because squatters they're hard to get rid of well back then there was no squatters there was none of that back then I don't know when all that shit started happening when people decided You gotta be careful because squatters, they're hard to get rid of. Well back then there was no squatters. There was none of that back then. I don't know when all that shit started happening

when people decided they could move into people's houses, but it wasn't a common thing back then. Israel. Israel. They have laws, he can't get rid of those people. I know, it's crazy, especially in some states. I heard a story of State Hope where he had homeless people on his porch, he was like, whatever.

Oh, well the homeless said he stabbed the guy. Yeah, and he goes, whatever, just don't be weird, but it's fine And then he comes home the chicken stabbed the dude because you guys gotta go No, we're cool. It's too much you guys you gotta go She has to look he videotaped her with blood on her hand and she's staring at staring in her hands She goes I'm a cunt. I'm a whore. I'm a cunt. I'm a whore. She was something like crazy. She was just a cunt She was something like crazy. She was schizophrenic. And he's like, nah, you're just a cunt.

Ah. She was completely schizophrenic. These people were like camped out. Oh my god. Stan hope had a house in Venice that had the American flag painted on the side of the house. The whole house was the American flag. That's fun.

It was hilarious. And we parted at his house multiple times. Yeah. And he was just such a silly boy. And he let these people just sleep in his house. I mean, you let these people just sleep there. Do you know them? He goes, yeah, they're good friends. Venice is wild. Venice is creepy. There's something weird about that area. He loved it It's perfect for Santa. It is perfect for him. He fit in like OJ's glove

It was perfect Is he still in Bisbee? Yeah, he's the king of Bisbee. Why would he leave? Didn't his house catch on fire? You can live in a teepee out there. It never gets hot never gets cold. It doesn't get too cold All right boys Do it for America. Yeah America versus Israel. Oh shit. That's the end of that Israel's done Oh shit, that's the end of that. Israel's done. Not bad, not bad.

Did you see Tony play drums on stage? With Jelly Roll? With Jelly Roll? That rules. No. That fucking rules. He played simple man. He played drums, he killed it. That fucking rules. He killed it.

Jelly Roll's the fucking man. Jelly Roll's the man. Oh yeah. Good guy. He's the man. He was out here the other day, hangs out at the club. So cool. I DM'd him like, hey buddy, we've never really hung out.

We should like, everybody I know likes you. Like, let's hang out. If you're in New York, I'm hanging out. And he's like, yeah dude, that's great. Here's my number, text me. And he gave me a fake number. No. You got jellied.

No. I was like, well played. I don't know. That was an accident. I don't know. He's gonna see you. Fucking rules. He probably gave you an old number and he forgot because he was high. No Nothing I'm like that's really well nice severely doubt Yeah, he wouldn't do that, but yeah, it is very that is very funny. Yeah, I told you do it to you I don't yeah the Kid Rock watch story last time right? Good he gave us a fake watch and left and he's like only you have this fake diamond me my friends fought about it for

Was like I was from Amazon this is a $5 watch How crazy was the the garden with all those guys it was crazy kid rock yeah, we can a white John Jones bowing to Trump it was like the gladiator about the Pop when Trump walked in the building was like you had to be there to understand it was like It always is a huge pop when he shows up every time but this was like triple that it was a five-minute standing ovation Jesus This was like triple that. It was a five minute standing ovation. Five minutes. Five minutes. Wow. It is crazy we've lost sight of like,

a president elect is coming in. This is awesome. We've just lost sight of like what that means. President is out. I can only judge someone by how I experience them. But I like the guy, he's fun. But it's funny he shit on you and then he comes on. I like that he can still.

He plays. He plays. He barely shit on you and then you he comes on I like Something kind of crazy though. It's like I wonder how loud I'm gonna get booted the UFC like out of all the places Maybe at the mothership but also also Shane at Kiltoni MSG Which is sitting on as Trump sitting on Rogan MSG which is sitting on as Trump sitting on Rogan It was so funny watching from the sidelines of shit They all knew and then you come up the applause and shades are okay. That means he's here. I don't deterred and just going There's nothing weirder than being a part of a presidential election. It's real weird We're not and we're especially like are you were here the fuck you were and like episode three or some shit

You know this was yeah, but imagine like this fucking thing has somehow another effects like climbing on We used to do in my spare bedroom I was talking to somebody like an airport or something like she did it from his house I like no he used to and then he had enough porn stars on One Andy dick at my house and then there was a few other people It's like we have to have a location and then we did it red bands for a little while without too first one to get A studio. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah flesh light was in there. Yeah, I just, I was like, I gotta get out of my house. I have young kids and I have too many weirdos

coming over the house. Yeah. Like I gotta. Me alone shouldn't be a trans. Yeah, you were over there before the black guys, bitch. But it was like one of those things where I was like, okay, I think it's growing, so I probably should like, accept it and move on.

The next move's the ranch boys. I can't wait. Oh, I've been looking I've been looking We're gonna do something crazy can't wait that a helicopter pad Some guns and oh, we're gonna have that I'm gonna make a tactical range like blown out cars and shit Let's blow up a cow. Yeah, I'm looking at the latest. I'm trying to fight Russia. Let's hurry up I don't really think Putin's that stupid I think he's gonna realize what's going on and I think they're probably working this out.

Alex Jones said that Trump is having secret meetings. At Mar-a-Lago? At Mar-a-Lago. I hope it's true. I hope it's true when they're trying to come up with some sort of a, Zelensky tried to come on. Whoa!

Yeah, they tried to get Zelensky on. I was like, what are you talking about? When you get an offer for somebody, they must come at your bookers or whatever. Do you like stop and like, hold on, let me think about this, whether I wanna be part of the story or not, whether it'll be interesting or not. Well, I wanted to stay out of the presidential election

shit, because it's gross. Because I feel like I had to. I feel like this is so nuts. This is so nuts. When that Tim Walz guy, that guy's, it's so nuts that that guy was gonna be the vice president. You're telling me this whole thing's fake then, you're telling me you don't care if someone's a liar,

you don't care if they lied about their military rank, where they served, you don't care if they lied about being an assistant, you don't care if they lied about Tiananmen Square, there's too many things, this is so crazy. You would get fired if you were a assistant manager at a fuckin' oil changing company. You would get, you Jiffy lube would fire you.

So let me ask you a question though. In two years from now, there's no more Kamal, there's no more Democrats for a while, we're deep into the next thing. Can all these people now make fun of the current president? Yeah, they should be able to. They should be able to. They should be able to.

You should always be able to make fun of people. And if Trump does something stupid, we're gonna be right here making fun of him. It doesn't, he doesn't even like that. I do think he's the best chance to avoid fun of people. And if Trump does something stupid, we're going to be right here making fun of him. It doesn't, he doesn't even like that. I do think he's the best chance to avoid World War III. Also JD Vance, Vivek, Tulsi Gabbard, all these people, RFK Jr., all these people are very promising. Tulsi, the anti-war lady Tulsi Gabbard going to Trump and the pro-war guy Dick Cheney going to the other way.

Crazy cookie. That should kind of tell you what you need to know about international wars. How about the fact that the left was like openly embracing the fact that dick Cheney avoided comma They were like get out of here endorse comma rather they weren't going like what that's like no one endorsing you No one was standing back. I said this guy's responsible for like how many fucking people do you ever see vice the movie about yeah? Kind of made me a fan about You ever see vice the movie about yeah kind of made me a fan about It was supposed to make you not like him really probably I've Jamie have I talked about this before no In the movie there's a part where he's like a drunk piece of shit like oh dick Cheney Oh, he's doing like power

He's working on power lines and shot his Wyoming or some shit, and he's just getting in drunk bar fights and then his wife Lynne Chaney is like are you gonna be a loser your whole life yeah he's like now Howard Stern movie no I won't and then he conquers the world right and kills a man what is that what everybody's shot his friend by the way dick Chaney no no I love you. You think you're great Beast That's a lot of pop sorry I was in the wrong place That's all me. You shot me in the fucking face. That's on me. I should be aware that you're retarded You were drunk

Jesus that's right. That's Randy Marsh saying I'm not against big toilet paper Republicans buy sneakers to what what? I need something else. Sneaker please. Let's mix it up. What's another good patriotic song? Oh, the Hulk Hogan America song. That's actually great. That's a good one. Let's go with that one. Is that Fuck Yeah? No, it's not a Fuck Yeah, but it's great. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. It's probably the number one song from America. Bro, how crazy is it they had Hulk Hogan rip his shirt off at a political rally? And how could you not be behind it? It's wacky time. Wow.

Damn, this does hit. Oh, man. I forgot it. It's my childhood. For life. Simone's getting hard. Damn, he's brown. He's getting his tits up.

Look how brown he looks. Is that brown face? When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside. face 21 million views! 21 million views! That's insane! Rick's a arranger. He's a guy. Catch me on the ride! Okay, let's go. Let's go. Mark? 3, 2, 1, go! You better do it all, do it mark do it mark You better finish that

Do it to stop the war in Ukraine Do it to stop the war in Ukraine Take what's left in mind and you drink it. Oh shit the bucket like a dirty person. That's a real one That's a real America. I might have been the best one you drink the backwash Drink the backwash No, no, no, don't do it Do it do it do it For a second say stop me Wow, it's not Reach his mouth. Oh fuck. Let's go. Oh, you're sick

You hate I have one of these in my studio for my podcast. It's almost like a drink. Talk about it doing something. That's basically pre-com. Okay, you guys gotta shut up for a second. Because you're all looking really hot right now. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh there's a volcano, I'm sucking water in it. Volcano, that's not gonna happen. I'm sucking a volcano. Oh no, I'm about to erupt.

Bro, imagine living near Yellowstone. Just know one day that baby's gonna go. As soon as it does, I'm hitting the fucking... There might be the spot to be though. You might want to be like right there instead of starved to death in Maine. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be a funny episode of the show. Do you remember the second of Saturday?

Hey, are we doing the show in Mar-a-Lago? Well, we were gonna but you said I don't want to influence an election Changed my mind after they shot at him. Yeah that changed everything. Who do you think shot at him CIA? One guy no, and I think they what's the saying they fucking they got rid of the goalie What's that? Pull the goal? They pulled the goalie on that one defense what like the I think they let a boy go I'm gonna black commercial. Did you want a weird one? He was in a black rock commercial and there's a Cellphone data record see if you can find this I don't fuck this up There's cell phone data record of a phone that came from an area That's near the FBI headquarters back and forth to this kid's home. This kid's home was professionally scrubbed

Yeah, no silverware. No nothing. Okay. Hold on. We're not done. Yeah, they Cremated him ten days after the assassination attempt There's no toxicology reports if you find if there's no press conference if someone tries to shoot a guy who eventually winds up being the president-elect you should at least find out if this guy was drugged was he on crack like what was he doing you would do that you would do that then you release it publicly he was under the influence of psychotic drugs you would do something you you would wanna know.

At least there should be an account of how this happened. What went wrong. The only thing, for sure. The only thing that went wrong, or the only thing that did happen rather was the head of Secret Service, that lady, the secret, the so, the stick, whatever it is. Secret Service lady, I'm a little drunk.

Secret Service lady, that lady got fired, but she didn't want to get fired to try to keep her job. She actually like tried to explain and the dumbest explanation, there was a sloped roof. Which there wasn't. But also there was a sloped roof where the other snipers were on, it was more sloped. Sloped roof, so what? So it was too dangerous to have snipers up there. Someone who regularly visited Crooks Hall and work also visited a building in DC located in Gallery Place. This is the same vicinity as an FBI

office on June 26, 2023. Whose device is that? Hold on. Devil's advocate. I've lived in DC. I've lived in the area. There's FBI stuff everywhere. How close is close close is oh wow that close? someone I think I think the accusation was that they've done it more than one time wait DC oh there it is there it is there it is there is there is hold on hold on

sorry we found a device linked to crooks work that traveled to Butler, Pennsylvania on July 4th and July 8th. Device stopped all activity on July 12th. On August 30th, 2023, one device linked Crooks visited Allegheny Arms, so this is the place where he got guns. So they tracked all of his phones and the people that visited him. So someone, there it is, this stupid fucking

watch. So someone visited, does that mean that it was the FBI that did something? No, it doesn't necessarily. It could be anything. It could be just a person that randomly happened to be there that went to that area. But it's kind of weird that they're not showing you the toxicology. It's kind of weird that there's no showing you the toxicology. It's kind of weird There's no press conference the guy tried to shoot the guy was a president for four years and everyone's making like it's no big deal And then when they asked him they asked common hairs about Secret Service protection She took a lot of people who don't feel safe, you know trans people don't feel safe It was like there's like this crazy take on it. That was so What are you talking about? That could be you the crazy people are out there

You have to protect all of us. High profile people that are running for president. Do you believe in democracy? You have to protect them. You can't say everyone feels in danger. No one feels safe. I don't feel safe. Immigrants don't feel safe. Trump supports them. He got shot. He got shot in the fucking head.

And now with the guy behind him that got killed. Miracle. It hit his ear. Yeah. He turned weirdly. And it works. He makes me feel like we're in a movie wasn't JFK yesterday Is that right? Yeah? 22nd is that what it is? Yeah, I think those yesterday. Whoa, and does RFK have security yet? Oh, he's got a show security Oh, there you go. Yeah, he's got a shitload of security Tony has security course RFK. How's it? Too much swords for the drones Tony rules I know I just I think I've been nothing but negative Crazy though that someone tried to kill him and it's kind of like an afterthought no one cares about it anymore

It's strange it would have been the next Lee Harvey Oswald if that guy shot Trump and killed him and then they killed that guy that would have been it we would have never known it would have never known It would have been just like the JFK assassination Ten years from now We would have never known. It would have been just like the JFK assassination. Ten years from now, fucking Yannis Papas would be on some late night talk show with a video of the assassination that no one saw before. Just like Dick Gregory did. Somebody would. You know, Dick Gregory was a comic.

Dick Gregory, I've been researching him a little bit, ruled, gave up his whole comedy career. For activism. Said, I can't be a fucking accepted black while nobody else is playing cool-ass music what is it are you ringing what is this? That's hilarious. That's your ringer? No, no, no. It was an ad on a fucking NFL. Oh, you're watching them while pissing.

I was looking at sports course. Dick Gregory is one of those guys that I'm mad that I didn't go to one of his shows. He had a show in New York and I was thinking of traveling and going to see it and I didn't go. I saw him at the DC Improv. Oh, not DC Improv. John X ran a room and I saw him there and it was three and a half hours long Oh, and it was he gave up his whole career because I can't be an accepted black man Well, none of my cohorts are accepted. Fuck this. What do you mean? He goes I can't be accepted by whites where none of buddy else's in the 60s

It's a long time ago. Yeah, I was be was excited. He goes I know I'm a different I know he goes I I know I'm a- Yeah, but a different time. I know, but he goes, I'm not gonna be that. Yeah. And they wrote a book called The N Word. Yeah. And, but actual.

And then now people are getting banned for suggesting it because of the title. Right, right. But that guy underrated how crazy and influential and intelligent he was. 100%. And funny. 100%. That's the whole thing about him getting that video So he got that film from Time magazine Time magazine had that film for 12 years

What film the film of the Zapruder assassin the Zapruder version of the assassination? so Adrian Zapruder was filming with a super eight camera and He catches Kennedy's head exploding and his head going back into the right and that threw This giant monkey wrench into the whole narrative of that He was shot from the schoolbook depository because his head goes back into the left from a bullet that's supposed to come from behind him It doesn't make any sense. And then on top of that, there's a moment where he grabs his neck, which is the entry hole He got shot in the neck, so someone shot him from the front.

But in the Bethesda, Maryland autopsy report, that's a tracheotomy hole. In the, but hold on, in the Dallas version of it, when they got his body in Dallas, they said it was an entry hole. So there's a lot of contradictory evidence. This is all in, David Lifton wrote a book called book called best evidence that turned me into a fucking loon And so date and so I love how you push back on Trump with that. That was baller

Guys I read enough because how much I plenty how much though Yeah, I love more than half or less than half. Well, he wanted to win and I didn't want to push too hard Yeah, right I'm like I'm trying to like have a conversation with this guy where I'm gonna ask one of the big things was like you did Ramp up the budget deficit you you did ranch up you ramped up what we owe like but what he explained that kind of makes sense is that what he was doing with Getting rid of regulations more American oil what it was doing with getting rid of regulations, more American oil, it was going to stimulate the economy. We're on our way to overcoming it. Then we got hit

by COVID. Okay, that's reasonable. Because he did the deficit did increase significantly during his term because of terrorists because of a bunch. So I was trying to figure out like, I don't understand that stuff. I just know what I read about it. I did my best to try to like what's like a very important aspect of what he's talking about, we're going to bring the economy back. Okay. But during your time, the deficit did rise. So what was that about?

So he had a reasonable explanation. His explanation was it takes time. We were on our way to coming back in a huge way. And then we got hit with COVID. Everything got shut down. That's all real. And then there's like a bunch of collusion as to why did we get shut down

when he wanted everything to open back up. Did they want the economy to tank right before the election? Fucking of course they did, of course they did. That's why they lowered gas prices right before an election. But of what I've known about you for 80 years I've known you is JFK assassination and aliens. What about the moon landings? And it I could tell if I could see in any future of Joe Rogan talking to a former or current president he would ask those two questions. I was a little disappointed with the

that was that was one of those moments you ever hear someone say something dumb as fuck and you're like oh shit this guy's dumb yeah that was like the I don't think Trump's dumb yeah at all but there was when he was talking to you about Aliens and you asked him a question. He was like yeah Mars Who knows it's like no it's obviously on Mars It's far far away one moment where I was like oh shit you brought up a We talked about aliens And what happened it was the Mars Mars comment

That's one of those like one time. I was smoking weed with my friend We were looking at the stars and a shooting star went by and he was like That's a star Flying through the air No, no you have no concept at all. No, it's not at all that was the same thing like with Trump with the UFOs things. He was like, yeah, Mars is right there. Also, there's a thing. No.

Hold on. There's a thing about Mars that's fascinating. And one of the things about Mars that's fascinating is at one point in time, whatever billion years ago, it had an atmosphere. Yeah. And it was probably closer to the sun, and it probably had life. It probably had something I think that was billions of years ago. I know what do you mean by life some sort of biological life, right?

I mean I amoebas. Yeah something now whether or not there was actually human beings dragons possibly But what is it the dogon tribe? Is it the dogon tribe dragons? Maybe I believe in both aliens and dragons. How about that? And I also believe in joy Behar Even was I'll give it to you if you were like we're in the same tribe true like I don't hate that lady I know she's lost, but they're all lost on that fucking show. Imagine being on that show. You got an audience in front of you. You have seven minute segments. You got a bunch of producers. You're on ABC News. Like shut the fuck up. That show sucks. You're not going to make it any better. You know? But she's just a lady. She's a lady trapped in her own biology.

She's trapped in her own age. Trapped in the time she lives in. She's on lady trapped in her own biology. She's trapped in her own age trapped in the time She lives in she's on a show where her and Whippy Goldberg are the matriarchs like it's chaos Yeah, the whole thing's nuts. It is nutty. That's nuts They they need Barbara Walters to come back from the grave And if you watch when Trump went on this is the crazy thing Sit this to the group. Yes now let play this now. Let's play this now. Trump on the View doing this? I would not. No, no, no, no.

Years ago and they blew him. Years ago. No, they blew him. When Trump was here, I wanted to open up the show. This is my thought when I had him on. I talked about it, but I didn't have that clip because I didn't want him to copyright flag it. You're playing America, fuck you.

No, I didn't want him to copyright flag it because it's so crazy. I was like, this conversation I'm having with him is so important, I'm just like, let's just reference it. Let's just reference it. So the video is from like 2012. It's like before he even runs for president. He goes on The View and they go, our friend Donald Trump, and the whole audience cheers. Watch this.

You've never seen this? No. Watch this. What? I sent it to the group chat. Because he was a big, well Mark, I know a lot of your stuff. I understand. Where's the lighter? I get it. Where's the lighter? The lighter's right here.

Oh, Barbara Wawa. Welcome my friend, Donald Trump. They don't want to show that he was their friend. 2011. Wow, he looks the same. Look at the cheers. Look at the cheers. Yeah, he had a board game. Standing Ovation. He had a bit of board standing ovation You know board game standing ovation look at this Sherry Shepherd

Hey Look at this hugs Joy Behar big hug and a kiss is my friend They just hugged Hitler who's the hot one hot chick, Elizabeth Hasselbeck from Survivor. She's a Republican married to a fucking quarterback They're back in Hasselbeck Look at this. I Mean, this is amazing. They loved him. They sat down with him. They talked to him about how he's

Progressive and liberal when it comes to social issues, but economically conservative. And you might be a great president. Are you going to run? And he was talking about it. Look how they all love him. Who seems to not be having it from the jump though? Is she still being there?

She's barely alive. Look at Joy Behar. Look at Joy Behar right next to her, all huggy kissy. Dude, Trump holds it down. Look at that. They're all hanging on his every word. They're all hanging out with him. They're happy to be there with him.

You ever seen him on Oprah? Oh yeah, it's amazing. He killed it. Oprah was also asking him to run for president. The whole thing is nuts. That is smooth. Way back in the day. Okay, find out when Oprah, go to Oprah asking Trump if he's going to run for president.

What we saw is the greatest media Psi-op in history did he say grab him by the pussy of course he did guess who else did a lot of those people Especially back in those days back in the days before the internet people said why I'll be honest I say fuck my pussy locker room style shit. I listened to the whole thing Yeah, it was a normal kind. He was, I'm rich so girls let me do stuff. I'm famous. That's what he's saying. I don't understand the.

Even Chappelle had a joke about that. He goes, you left out the second part and you intentionally left out the second part. He goes, and they let me, which implies consent. That's exactly it. So you're leaving out where they gave me consent to make it seem like they didn't give me consent. Also, he's being funny.

He was really just grabbing people by the, it's a funny thing to say. Who does that? It's a ridiculous thing to say. It's hard to grab, it's like they didn't make consent. Also, you're being funny. You're usually just grabbing people by the, it's a funny thing to say. Who does that? It's a ridiculous thing to say. Who does that? Hard thing to grab is like negative space. It's negative space. You're really getting two fingers in like a bowl.

Remember the first time you tried to grab it? Yeah. When you were a young man, you go. Wait, I thought it was gonna be where my dick was. Yes, I thought it was on the front. Way lower, way lower. It's way lower. Trying to fuck a belly button.

We're talking about children grabbing it. They've never seen their own vagina. But tell it to guys at bars. Girls at bars get grabbed all the time. There's a lot of scumbags there. Not just touch girls pussy. Yes, 100%. I've talked to girls who've had their pussy grabbed

by some douchebag who's drunk at a bar. Oh wow. Pussy. Grab it. Definitely. Grab ahold of it, yeah. Shit face at Hooters, you go, all right, pay-per-view's over. Come here.

It's grabbed. I'm getting kicked out. And I'm getting kicked out. The point is... Oh, because I like the Raiders? See, watch this. This is... Look at him. He's cool and calm and collected. Is this from 1988? Yeah, that's it. Play it. They come over here, they sell their cars, their VCRs, they knock the hell out of our

companies. And hey, I have tremendous respect for the Japanese people. You can respect someone that's beating the hell out of you, but they are beating the hell out of this country. Kuwait, they live like kings. The poorest person in Kuwait, they live like kings. And yet they're not paying. We make it possible for them to sell their oil. Why aren't they paying us 25% of what we make? It's a joke. This sounds like political presidential talk to me, and I know people have talked to you about whether or not you want to run would you would you ever Probably not, but I do get tired of seeing the country rip. Why would you not? I just don't think I really have the inclination to do it. I love what I'm doing. I really like it

Also, it doesn't pay as well But you know, I just probably wouldn't do it over I probably probably do get tired of seeing what's happening with this country. And if it got so bad, I would never want to rule it out totally, because I really am tired of seeing what's happening with this country, how we're really making other people live like kings, and we're not. What do you think of this year's presidential race?

Good enough. Who is 88? Dukakis. Bush. Bush Dukakis. Yeah. So, this is what you're seeing with Trump regardless of his flaws. What you're seeing with Trump regardless of flaws is a massive concentrated Psy-op. They've distorted

who he is to the point where most people think that way. Most people think that way. They've had narratives. What is a Psy sigh up? I keep hearing that. Psychological operation where they've decided to distort people's perceptions of things. The reality of it. Yeah, when you tell like an older liberal that like the Obama deportations were higher than the Trump deportations, they go, no, what? No. And you go, no, let me just Google deportations Obama versus Trump. And you go, it lower They go wait what like here's 19 straight articles saying that I'm right. Yeah, and they go that doesn't make sense and you go right Focus on what's giving you the reality of the world check this out Jamie go to that Hillary Clinton thing that I texted you today. This one is wild

This is Hillary Clinton in like 2008 and Hillary Clinton Saying some wild MAGA type shit about she used to say about shit while the shit about illegal immigrants From the beginning different beginning It's okay. Do it from the beginning But want to hear it Tell people to come out of the shadows if If they've committed a crime, deport them. No questions asked, they're gone. If they...

She's a Republican. If they've been working and are law-abiding, we should say, here are the conditions for you staying. You have to pay a stiff fine because you came here illegally. You have to pay back taxes. And you have to try to learn English. And you have to pay back taxes you have to try to learn English oh you have to wait in line you have to wait in line and everybody's cheering 2008 Hillary Clinton was more MAGA than Trump but how about that more MAGA than trying to believe that you watch illusion it's all a fucking illusion all of them when convenient have said the exact same things

Dragon's a real Yeah, it's crazy they give you a false sense of reality You just got to shut them both off because they had control the media up until now This election was the first time they didn't really have control the media anymore because what cuz of non mainstream media because of podcast I guess selling tickets because of social media because. Because what? Because of us. Non-mainstream media. Because of podcasts. Podcasts, selling tickets. Because of social media, because of X. I love people who are like, you're humanizing Trump, like, well, he's a human.

Yeah. So why can't I? Well, they're trapped. I'd invite the other lady on. They've been caught up in all this shit that they've shoved down everybody's throat, especially all the Russia shit. Do you think the campaign people for Kamala Harris was going, we should have let her go on Rogan

Definitely or they go that was a no win some people maybe it would have been a win I would have been nicer. I told her I told her I will talk about anything They didn't want to talk about marijuana legalization and they didn't want to talk about Internet censorship She smoked but then they changed their mind about the Internet censorship and then they contacted and said they want to talk about Internet censorship about the Internet censorship and then they contacted and said they want to talk about Internet censorship. We had like no bullshit, at least I didn't have any of them, but there was at least three calls, there was like multiple emails back and forth and there was dates proposed. This idea that they passed on it because the progressive people, look I'm sure the progressive

people didn't want her to do it, I'm sure there's people that didn't want her to do it, but they were trying to schedule it. This is not a thing that was like they her to do it. I'm sure there's people that didn't want her to do it, but they were trying to schedule it This is not a thing that was like they had resistance to it They contacted me they contacted me when they found out when Trump's camp leaked that he was coming on They contacted me and they wanted to come on they had contacted me before it were inquiring about coming on Once Trump said he was coming on then they wanted to come on But they wanted me to do an hour and they wanted me to travel to them. Well that's crazy, but like, yeah, it's like-

Well, Elon said it best. He said those last two hours are where you really find out what's going on. Like, you can bullshit people for 40 minutes. Get them comfortable. If I'm talking to you for three hours, we're going to talk about some real shit. That's when the funnel comes out. That's Protector Parks. That's Protector Parks.

I hate the first hour. I hate people from North Dakota. It's obvious. But I don't know anybody. The Caller Daddy, they had to build the set. They had to replicate it. It cost like a couple hundred grand. They said six figures.

It's Kanye's shit. It still didn't hit a million views. You know what does hit a million views? Neil Diamond's coming to America. I'm good for now. You're not though. We just did one. No, we just did one. No, Mark and I just did them. That's wrong. I got whiskey here. That's coming to America. I'm good for now. You're not though. We just did one. You're up.

No, we just did one. No, Mark and I just did them. That's wrong. I got whiskey. That's 100% true. That's a sign up. That's a sign up. It's true.

No, it's not. We just did them. Didn't we just do them? Yeah. We just did them. We just did them. No, no, no, no, no. We did them.

We went first on everyone. We did them last. Jamie, is that correct? Did we do them last? Jamie, that's a sign up. I think they did them last. I don't think you did them before us What song did you guys just play? Hogan yes, that's what he told me at bad breath

Here's the craziest thing about Trump the people that love him There's a spectrum of the people that love him where you're terrified you're gonna run to them people You're terrified you're gonna to run to them people. You're terrified you're going to get cornered by those people. I was in Aspen and this fucking lady came up to me and it was like her and her daughter, the lady was like 59ish, 65ish, you know that kind of age. And she comes up to me, she goes, you know Trump's the real president in the United States. And I go, but he's not. I go, Joe Biden's the president.

Like they already called the election. She goes, oh, you're one of them. I go, he won the election. I don't know if the election was good. Maybe it wasn't good, but he's not the president. If you look online, if you Google it, I go, it says President Biden. Yeah, he is the president. There's those people that if you get caught with them, like they, you know, they're all in. They're my pillow. And 9-11 truthers. They're all in. Yeah. You did push back harder on like why was it rigged? I like that It does feel like he is running tell me what's rigged. What do you mean?

I wanted to I would hope that he would have had a good answer I would have hoped he have data that he could spit out if you told me if I really ran for president I knew they rigged it and they gave me evidence enough that I would say publicly they rigged it. I'd be able to spit that out. Yeah. They said just saying it. We should be part of the cabinet. We're protecting parks. Yeah. Official podcast. I will tell you that video. We haven't watched it yet. That video of him saying we're done with internet censorship was like this actually affects me. Me. And I, I like what he's saying you I liked it got me fired up These fucking companies are scary because they dictate the narrative of the whole world It's not just as simple as oh, you're removing hate speech. No, you're changing the way people talk about things and you're dorks

You're not people that I want change these things. It was when I was in college They were talking about verbal consent That was a big thing and every person was like those are virgins telling us how to do sex It's like the gaze on a America's Got Talent telling us who's hot Richie who the fuck you talking about? I don't know what that means. Lionel Richie? Who the fuck are you talking about? Well, you know, those American Top Model. Howard Stern? That's what I meant. Oh, American Top Model. She's sexy, and I'm like, no, no, you're gay.

When he said, without free speech, we're fucked. Without free speech, we're fucked. Why would we play that? You get no, yeah, let's play that. You get no Protect Our Parks without free speech. Yeah! Imagine if Comedy Central gave us notes on Protect Our Parks. Oh, yeah.

It'd be like 11 minutes. Do you remember when you hosted a stand-up show right after the Iraq invasion? Yeah. And what did they tell you? I don't remember. They said no talking about Bush, no talking about the war.

Where was that? On NBC late Friday. Oh, yeah. Right, am I wrong or not? No, I think you're right, yeah. I think that was a narrative for every comic that went up there. Just can't talk about this.

Yeah, can't talk about Bush, can't talk about the war. And you're like, no, don't say anything. Remember Mitzi would let Holtzman go on stage for two weeks after 9-11? Ha ha ha ha ha. Duncan had to call him. That makes sense. I'm not asking.

But it's fucking amazing. No, but actually it tracks, because she was like, tell Holtzman, like hey we love you, but you can't go on. Happened on Tuesday, closed Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, open on Friday, Saturday, Holtzman, you can't get spots. Sunday was open mic night, you can go up. Me and Stan Hope were watching Holtzman go up.

Thank you. And he was talking about how he would have jumped out and tried to hit a cop. And it was, and to hit a cop and I disagree with 90% of this but he's saying it so well and it had to be an open mic night to get him on. Duncan called him he goes did you know anybody in 9-eleven? He goes I know they're Americans. I don't know what else you gotta know. He's got a home here now you know he's headlining here now. He's ex a home here now, you know, he's headlining excelling instead of like damn if he was in LA he'd be crucified They weren't giving him good spots at the store. He was getting these spots at two o'clock in the morning

There was no one left. He was getting these spots where we would be in the back laughing But it's like, you know ten people in the crowd throwing up laughing. Yeah You know ten people in the crowd throwing up laughing. Yeah Is such an arrow you can't believe Crazy, but now he's doing it to pack crowds and they're coming from all over the world comes he holds me and they know no He shows cell oh good. He's doing sets all the time at the mothership. He's here all the time I just saw him the other day. He was murdering He's out of his fucking mind. He's out of his fucking mind. We did kill Tony garden. He got up there He was like Billy Joel

Suicide they're working on Billy Joel show Guys gotta batter up next to the fucking Rangers By the way, you gotta realize this is only probably a second or third time ever he's performed in an arena He did one of those kill Tony's in an arena that didn't go that good. How does that for that? But the massacre garden when he fucking killed. Bro, that was so, Madison Square Garden was so fun. It was not just fun, it was like, it was like a moment in comedy history where you felt like this is gonna be something

that people talk about in the future. You know, like this broke through. This show that I watched in the Belly Room that had like 10 people in the audience. I was in one of the third or fourth episodes ever and now you have it here in Madison Square Garden It's sold out in 40 minutes Aaron Rodgers throwing off footballs to the crowd Oh the black keys are opening

Jelly Roll performs Dice Clay performed Dice Clay at MSG. It was amazing Yeah that was wild. Joey Diaz when I brought Joey Diaz out. It was insane. Listen I've never I will not endorse a candidate I've never addressed that but I will endorse one today. No one knows is coming out my endorsement for Joey Diaz and like And when he was walking out there everybody knows him he's like a legend now. He's like a fucking snuffle up I guess He's like a fucking snuffle up. I guess he's like a mysterious Didn't walk out like a stuff

Slow like that. He's like a mythical being and when he goes out there people just had this giant smile on their face I was watching because I was beside him, so I'm watching you know hit the audience as they're watching him Oh my god. It was amazing everyone is having I was sitting next to my son watching dice And it was like we were back in high school. This is his stage where we first saw him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All of it, all of it. I was with the R U Garbage guy. We're just like, Brennan Zese and Simone came up.

It was just like, so fun. It was a celebration of comedy. Yep. You know, Gomez was there, Big J was there. It was a real celebration of comedy. Gomez crushed, Big J crushed, DeRosa, yeah. Everybody. It was a real celebration of comedy. Gomez Crush, Big J Crush, DeRosa, yeah. Everybody hit. It was a celebration of like this kind of comedy,

the kind that we like, the wild shit, where someone's saying something crazy, and you're like, ah! And Tony just set everybody up. I know you hate him, but like he just set everybody up so well. Did you see? He loves Tony.

You see Dice with Seinfeld? Oh, no. You see that video? Chasing him down? No, I'm pulling that up, JMo. He saw him at the park. Don't give it away. Okay, okay, okay.

Let's play the video. Is this a recent one? Yeah, this is very recent. Song or no? Hold on, we got dice video. Stu with the dice is a real American. I guess hit him a song before we look up. I'm coming to America, Neil Diamond.

Give me Free Bird, middle of the ramp. Free Bird, middle of the... JMo's got a lot of ones and twos going on here. Middle of the guitar solo. Here we go. J-Mo, are you gonna bond one? Yeah, J-Mo, you're up. J-Mo, we got an extra beer.

Get that mustache wet. J-Mo will get in there. J-Mo's been a real wet rag. We're at three and a half hours in, here we go. That's it. Oh, hell yeah. Oakland Coliseum. Eight million views on the... That's the most American riff of all time.

Oh, how is Josh Brolin? Cool guy? What's that? How is Josh Brolin? Oh, he's awesome. Look at this. Wow. Look at Bert.

That's wearing like a cult outfit. Wow. Look at Bert. That's wearing like a cult outfit. Magic times. Just chill shredding. Just chilling and shredding. No phones. All right, let's get that to JMo. And let's see that Seinfeld. Let's find Seinfeld getting chased down by Dice.

He interrupted me on stage, like three days ago. Yeah, I saw that. I'm on stage, just comes up with his camera out. Yeah. Fuck. You handle it well. Thanks. He's amazing.

He's coming here soon. National treasure. I think he's back here in December, headline. Yeah. Yeah, on the website it says coming soon. Yeah. Just like, alerting people. I think it's on here in December headlining. Yeah. Yeah on the website says coming soon. Yeah I think it's on his Instagram JMo He's walking through Central Park. It's all good there. How good is this fucking guitar solo never gets old

Never I mean, it's one of the greatest of all time if I ever want to feel good, and I'm driving down the street I'll crank that Which one is right there? That's it That's it. Let's hear it kill the music big shot comedian big shot big shot over here I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get it. Just keep walking. Let's keep some lunatic. He's got a fuckin' Sasquatch cape. He's wearing a free jacket.

Man. Somebody gave it to him. No, unfrosted from the fuckin' pole. Oh, swag. That's his normal, that's his walnut. He really is Jewish as fuck. All out. I did some fundraiser.

Yeah, get excited, Jame-o. You're such a little sad guy. OHIO! I did some Hey fuck you, Indiana Hoosiers nice ponytail Yeah, Jamie doesn't fuck around Holy shit record. That's the throat good. That's pretty damn good Wow Jamie rules our case out new throat go Throat go Yeah, yeah me for a second easy that's offensive Together for the new thing

She's something about national intelligence right what she she should be secretary of state Hawaiian she has some serious top-level clearance and what the fuck I want to find out about UFO yeah that's what that's that's you Tulsi's my friend James J Moe set the record but at what cost? He's shit the blood already. He's running. He's running. Well that was crazy. He ran right out. That wasn't a pee run. That was a fucking Jimmy John sub. That was nuts. That was coming up. Freaky fast.

Full miscarriage. That was one bomb. Poop was brought to you by Jimmy John. That's an Italian sub ready to make birth. Three smells. Boom. Ba-boom. Oh, I did that, I did some benefit. I got to wear the suit. Thanks again for those suits.

That suit rules. David what? David August. That suit rules. We hung out, got martinis all night one night. I wore it for Kill Tony. That suit rules. Those things are perfectly fit.

When you get a suit that's designed actually for your actual actual body never had I've been a warehouse men's warehouse cunt for my whole life. I told that guy I was like hey I just like a weird cup but also stylish and then it's like he's like I'm like you know what you're an artist I think you get it. Go you got your dope. He got it. That was a beauty Yeah, he did good, but he fucked with me Why how so the guy that he was taking pictures when we were here last David August and he?

He was like, your left shoulder slouches more than your right. You lean left. I've thought about it every single day. That's a Brian Regan bit. Really? Yeah, he goes, I went to get my eyes tested and the doctor was like, hey, just, your eyes are slightly off center, nothing to worry about, I just thought you wanted to focus on it for the rest of your life. That rings true I've thought about it non-stop every second Lucas he was he's good man he knows how to measure you oh yeah get

a suit and it's like it feels like it's designed for you it's so much better draped on its skin it's got your name in the name he puts a tie with it. I know. It was pretty cool. Yes. Very nice, yeah. Joe. Fucking fuck me. That was fucking cool as shit. That was really, really nice. Thank you very much.

Joe's like, hey, come an hour early. Like, why? Like, get a suit. What? Okay, and then he goes, what do you want, four? I'm like, bro. Let's get some fucking suits. Let's get some suits, son.

Everything's like, the hotel, the car, it's all very nice. You're a mensch. Well, I like to treat people the way I like to be treated. Ah. Joe fought for a gush for a second for equal pay for comedians in Los Angeles. When all those book shows were like, oh, give you your $50.

And Joe's like, no, you're fucking making money off us now. Oh, the mothership pay is like crazy. And you don't need the $600. It's not that, it's, who was the guy who went in front of Congress and spoke about, from Colorado, Rocky Mountain High? Oh, David Lucas.

No. No. Singing about rap. John Denver? John Denver, that's you fighting for $600. It's like, I don't need this. It's bullshit you're not giving everybody their equal pay. No, it was David Lucas.'t need this it's bullshit. You're not giving everybody their equal pay. No it was David Lucas

Well the store was like Great place for us to work out shit, but it was also like wait a minute Why is the guy who's running the show making six thousand dollars and no one's making anything other than a couple of people? This is crazy. Yeah, like this whole thing is nuts But it's like you you know, if you let people do that, they're going to do it. They're going to rip people off. You let them rip people off, they're going to rip people off. You got that right. Jesus Christ.

Wee. It's just one of those things if they don't get checked. I mean, that's what would happen if unions didn't exist. I mean, if unions didn't exist, you imagine if you just pay people whatever you want to pay them and then all these illegals are Spilling in child labor fine. Yeah fine. No child laws. No child labor laws. We'd be fucked Are you saying comedians in a union? No, that'll never work now too many cunts turn against each other Italians having a union you really need clubs run by commerce if all clubs were run other any that's a horrible Well, I think there's a couple other ones. I want to key West that guy is a car That Joe list

Documentaries killer the funniest documentary ever seen in my life. We saw it in the theater. Yeah, we saw it in Angelica Because it's about a comedian portrait of a comedian. Where can you get it? He just got a deal to be in theater. They're in theater so it's going to come out eventually. Nice. But it was just a comic being a comic and that's the documentary. He's not playing it up. I think best case scenario is every comic who gets a pile of money you should invest in a club. That's the best. I think it should be. Chappelle did it. He did it. But you were on acid that one time when you were talking to me you're like don't ever open a room You like this I was it I'm like it's a lot of work but that we've we are you down a lot

It's work, but it's worth it. All right, really is worth it. I was that uh, no It really is worth it. I was at, hold on, no, yeah. Shane, you were saying it was there. I never said, you're misquoting me. I definitely never said never open up a room. I said it's a lot of work and you have to have a lot of money. You have to be willing to not make money. Most things that people do where they invest a lot of money,

they want to make money. Yeah. My thought was like, if anybody has the ability to do it the right way, it's me. Like, I have to do it. Like, I have to, what. I have to do this. If I was a kid and I was looking at comics that had a lot of money, ah, if I had that guy's money, you know what I would do?

I'd just open up a club. We all dreamed about that. Right, I'm like, well, just do it. Yeah, and it's a hit. And then you can just go, you have a billion dollars. Why do I fly to make money? Why do I fly to make 100 grand? Why can't I just go here?

That means nothing to you. It's also so much easier on your life. You don't have to fly all the time. Drive in, do a spot come back. Flying all the time sucks. You're always tired. You get worn out all the time. Flying just fucking kills your immune system.

You're always exhausted. Agreed. Yeah, jet lag is the worst. I gotta go a day early now so I don't get sick. Yeah, and you have to drink a lot of water and you hit the gym and your body has to reset. What the fuck? What were you saying? I was gonna say I was at I went out to Ohio for Chappelle's birthday this year and did his show and all that and then we after we did the outside show we went

to his club and he was hammered. It was his birthday and he was just up on stage holding everyone hostage hammered but he he said the funniest shit he was just up on stage holding everyone hostage hammered, but he he said the funniest shit He was just up there. He's like I worked my whole life to build this club to bomb in front of you But he knew he knew it wasn't going well. He just kept going. It was so funny. He'll keep going to try to find the nuggets. Yeah, and he will. That's the craziest thing.

He'll find it. He's a miner. Even blacked out, he'll find it. Yeah. And then once he finds it, that piece they'll save, they'll edit it, they'll put it aside, and then they'll go, okay, now I got a chunk. I like also when it doesn't go well, He's like give me that that that's fucked Yeah, I can't do that again. He still feels it. He's a minor. That's why Jeff Ross likes him. Well you You've got to be able to like make the you You know we used to do that a lot. Damon Wayans. He used to go up. You remember those days? So funny. He would do 15 of intentionally bad. Yeah. Really? So you would like. No expectations. You've lost trust in me and now I can try

my jokes. Yeah. He calls it a jazz set. Yeah. He would fuck around. Damon has recorded like every show he's ever done since the 90s. Damn, that's old psycho. To this day, he sets up, I saw him in the improv a few years back before COVID and he set up a camera in the back room. I agree he does this every set, he does every set and I watch him on my computer. He records all of them, he has them all archived and he riffs. That's how he comes up with shit. He just gets up on there and starts talking about something, anything that's in the news, he starts riffing on it, and then he'll find something. And that's how he writes. I feel that's too self-indulgent, I feel too guilty. It depends what level it is. I mean, he's famous. You can't do it in the garden, but you could do it at your comedy club, just fuck around. But for them, that's like-

You gotta be willing to bomb. Yeah, you gotta be willing to bomb. Which is the hardest. But that's his creative process. Chris Rock used to do the same thing. He used to go on and just ramble about stuff, and you tell the audience, relax, relax, this ain't gonna be funny. Lower your expectations. Yeah thing he's to go on and just ramble about studying tell the audience relax right thing to be funny lower your expectations yeah yeah

but eventually you would be a hbl special or national it would kill but it's a process i gotta say i've been watching louis of over the past couple months he's back doing shit and he was struggling to put it lightly and then i saw him two nights ago and all that same shit is killing that because he's willing to do it's crazy so here is the best i thought you had a and put it lightly, and then I saw him two nights ago, and all that same shit is killing. Yeah. Because he's willing to do it. It's crazy, same material, just tweaked slightly.

Yeah, just tweaked. I saw Martin at the store come back after five years off. Martin. And then he was like, ugh, not good. Six months later, same material, crushing. Yeah. Same material, not just like, I'm abandoning this, just figuring it out.

They said that about prior, the week he did live at the Sunset Strip, that he was doing the same material at the store and bombing. And then bombing on Monday, Tuesday was better, Wednesday was better, Thursday was killing, Friday was killing, Saturday he's filming. I thought he bombed, wasn't the story he bombed the first taping tip? The Long Beach when he bombed. And then the second show he murdered. Best set ever. Dude, Adrian, one of her sets

We decided to do a sabotage. As much as I hate Tony you love Adrian. I do love Adrian Louis said we should do a sabotage that we should just like not announce her just like let's see what the crowd is They hated her so much She was upstairs getting changed. I was outside there was these British like Indian people they go she deserves to get cancelled It was just start to finish suck canceled She went through it like a warrior That's it yeah Next night it was amazing. She was like so worried. I would have been outside talking to the British Indian ladies like I'm so sorry Yeah, they were I heard them talking I was like Adrian hang up hang out upstairs for a second the British Indian ladies like I'm so sorry yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, right. Real similar. It was a fun fuckin' time for comedy.

It is a great time for comedy. Bad time for boxing. I always quote you, Ari. Couldn't have been better. Because you said comedy's dangerous. It is, Tony proves that, all of it proves it. It's dangerous. Tony proves it.

It's dangerous, you do a joke, you're like, what are you mad at? How is this trying to entertain everybody? This disingenuous thing of like, well they're trying to make people mad. No one's trying to make anyone mad trying to entertain But it gets people mad. Yeah, we don't want to offend anybody. We want to get laughs. Yeah, it's just People love to distort things in this weird time where everything's politicized. I know comedies politicized

It should be like oh is he a comedian? Okay, but in the room, it's great I mean, I remember doing a show with Shane shortly after the hubbub. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The hullabaloo? That was really fun. That dude, I have like seven or eight all time sets. Yeah, that was great. You gotta come up. My agent said I can't. Shane, come up.

I never said my agent said I can't. Somebody told you you weren't allowed. Becky. Where are you hearing this from? There's no way I would have ever said I'm not allowed. You said they told me I shouldn't, like, just get them up here. I drove to the club. Yeah, you did. What are you talking about, Art? It was their two stand-up. And we had fun, we talked about it, and then we had an Asian guy rank the

Asians, and we were saying, like, the blogger in the room, which there was one, would have said someone in the audience, an Asian guy, but they would have said someone in the audience ranked the asian people They did because we said it we cut their legs out, but it's just like it's a bit dangerous And it makes it more fun. Yeah, you know the funny thing was during the campaign when Obama was on It was so surreal to watch Obama was doing one of those campaign speeches and he said, there was a guy at the Trump rally who said, Puerto Rico's an island filled with garbage.

Time out, decent impression. Those are human beings. Those are human beings. Like, what, what, what, a speaker? He's joking. It was a speaker? It wasn't a comedian? Wasn't a guy telling jokes?

I mean, John Leg was Amma went off He did a whole face to camera There was a visual artist who did a thing about That guy who got hung He always gets my respect John Wick was great He gets a pass he gets a pass These people that are in like certain communities. They feel like they need to stand up Yeah, they got a silly they don't they feel pressure everyone's scared man. There's a bunch of fucking cowards out there

There's so many people that are scared and their takes on things are so gross, but it's quick It's not just thought out fearful just fearful. You know weird. Yeah, weird that group thing really kicks up You're like I gotta say something I gotta be a part. It's like, you know Bill Maher putting the smackdown on Neil deGrasse Tyson Take that nerd it was wonderful because it was making fun of Neil deGrasse Tyson's perspective on women competing with Biological males and sports like that all this woke shit you're doing like you're not a scientist like this is not this is not science That you're doing here. Yeah, this is ridiculous well people have been going out Dave Smith and Sam Harris are going at it are they really online right now today well Sam Harris did a podcast shitting on Dave Dave did a rebuttal and Sam did a rebuttal I mean it's like crazy yeah so many

people got captured during that time of chaos and anxiety so many people got so captured we lost that's my joke We lost a lot of people during kovat and most of them are still alive. That's so funny I quote that so many times I quote that so many It's one of those lines are like funny, but like the point is real There's a lot of people like I really can't talk to anymore. Well, I just can't people don't realize we're just just a blip It's all gonna go away. We're all Marble and we're so burning calories on this bullshit How are they cowards are exposed and people that act in cowardice and then they're not

Compassionate they're not you're not looking at things in a job a balanced objective perspective You know Joey Diaz says one about one of my one of my many hubbub's Someone who's like what already shouldn't have said this thing. Not even the one you're thinking of. And then he goes, yeah, but he's our friend. In the story. In the story. That's our friend.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like, it's also, it's comedy. Comedy is messy, man. And anybody who doesn't think it's messy sucks at it. That's a fact. If you think that all jokes hit, you're doing whack jokes. There's no chance. If you're not offending anybody, well you're not trying. You've got to get to the line.

You offend 2% of people, perfect. 98% are on your side, you're right on the line, perfect. And also this is your lot in life, like you're the guy yelling at Elvis, hey this is inappropriate, you're shaking your hips. This is the person you want to be at the end of the day? Like we're all just joking around. Everyone's laughing, some people are not laughing and you're mad. So much ego, so much ego, so much people don't like other people getting attention, so much like people want other people to support whatever narrative they support. But it's a time of exposure and cool people rise.

Yeah, that's the thing, It's a great time for us So it's like a challenging time all challenging times are great times as long as World War three doesn't pop off And it doesn't become like the end It's like we're basically at the Cuban Missile Crisis But like accelerated with Twitter with Twitter and with Elon Musk gonna bomb wannabe cow and blue sky Are you talking about bitch? Are you gonna be blue? Fucking Lucy out Twitter with Twitter and with Elon Musk gonna bond wannabe cow and blue sky If you go on there and you say there's only two genders they ban you immediately I don't wanna puke at the mothership again. Yes you do. I don't think we're going to the mothership. Oh we're not?

We are. I thought we were doing sets. We are. Are we? You haven't been on stage since 88. Mark and I are. What are you playing there? Mark.

Wait are we going to the mothership or not? We are. 100% we are. We could do whatever we want. We're Americans. I think... I'll do it for you if you want to do it, but you should do it. No, no.

Get Mark. I ate a big meal before I came here. I didn't just got one Had a string cheese bag of almonds. Oh Yeah, that was quick good. I ate two pounds of elk I did a two 16 ounce elk steaks really Really? No veggie? I don't eat veggies anymore. Gee, easy, George Quaderson. If I want a salad, I'll eat it.

You know, I'm not opposed to salads. If I feel like eating a salad, I eat it. But I don't think I need it for nutrition. I think it's nonsense. Good fiber for shitting. I don't think you need it. Eh, I shit fine. I love when people go,

I don't trust Joe Rogan in anything. I'm like, literally, he's my number one doctor source. It has been for 20 years. I'm 100 years old, and I'm strong as fuck. Trust me, in anything. I'm like literally he's my number one doctor source I'm a hundred years old and I'm strong as fuck. Trust me. I know what I'm doing Let's go Does other man need a simple man don't need Doesn't need them. I have a special Do a special affection to this song after Neil Young went after me. That was so baller where you're like glad to see you have morals Neil.

Yeah when he went back on Spotify. Oh because the money's there? Oh because the money's there you'll do it? Also I told him and it's true I was a giant Neil Young fan and I literally Let the last day I worked at Great Woods Performing Arts Center I was at a Neil Young concert and a riot broke out and I fucking threw a hoodie on over my security outfit I'm like I'm out of here. I never got my last paycheck. Oh A fight broke out at a Neil Young concert. You're like fuck this. Oh, it's crazy My friend Larry punched some dude in the chest My friend Larry was like the night Larry Jones shout out to Larry Jones one of the nicest guys ever

And this guy was fucking with him. He just dropped this guy and I was like, oh my god, we're fighting I'm out of here and they left and there was bonfires going on and the lawn it was chaos. They shut the show down 1989 People decide to go nuts, they go nuts. Amsterdam, Jews. Well, you know what it was? It was cold. It was cold at night. And it was the lawn.

There was a whole lawn area. And the lawn area was like, there was like an amphitheater and then that was covered. And then above the outside, the covered area was the lawn area. And the lawn area, a bunch of dudes started lighting like cardboard boxes on fire He got crazy there that bonfires going on and they were got they got real rowdy Yeah, and then people were like starting shit with the security guys and then when my friend Larry dropped this guy like fights broke out I'm like see ya I'm like I'm leaving like it is no my friends were

In fights, let's get out of here and everybody got out of there. I was like I quit. I'm out of here. I just was ready to quit already There's too many times. It was like almost fight some guy tried to run over me with his car Yeah, what happened? I was telling the guy that he had to stop because we were like moving traffic around the guy like got right up to My leg with his car and rev the engine well Then I got up to his door and I go hey man fuck you and he tried to open up his door and I need the shit out of his door and put a giant dent in his door so I couldn't open it and we were like

ready to fight I was like dude I'll fucking kill you he was like ready to get out of the car and I like need his car door and then a bunch of other security guys came up and he pulled I'm like what am I doing I get like twenty to five dollars an hour something like that, right? I'm gonna get in fights the first day on the job. They beat the fuck out of a guy who stole a golf cart There's a dude named alley cat. He was the head guy He was like this grizzled old security dude He'd probably been doing it forever And they found this kid who was drunk who stole one of our golf carts a security cart

And he was driving around they tackled him and they were Beating him with a walkie-talkie Bloody his face was bleeding and this is like my first day on the job I was like, oh my god, like we're doing this. Whoa. This is crazy. But didn't you you were jujitsu guy? Well, it's like window guy back. I don't know Never got in fights. I never I was the Taekwondo guy back then. Yeah, but you don't want to get dirty. I was kicking box kicks. No, I never got in fights. I was the first guy to like, bye. I was like, I'm not interested in any fights.

You didn't want to apply your knowledge? No, I applied it in the ring. I was not interested. It doesn't go on his record if he fights a rando. Well, it wasn't even that. It was just like, I knew how dangerous it was. It's like, once you've actually knocked people unconscious, it's scary. The whole thing's scary, like fighting people in a giant group like fuck this yeah

I don't have nothing to do with that But like back then the the security team was all black belts this guy One of the guys that we worked out with he got a job there, and then he came to us and said hey You guys want a job. It's like 25 bucks an hour you get to see concerts like fuck. Yeah, I don't remember what the night I'm making $25 up. I don't know what it was. And so there was like 16 of us. All these like assassins that like worked at this security place, but it was too crazy.

You get to see how drunk people, and then it was also, when I understand cops, in a very minor way, because it became us against them. It was us, the security guard, the security guards, against the people who were the drunksunks that were and that was like a Mentality there was a real slum for but it was also like a thought like we are the good guys They're the cunts and it's okay to beat the fuck out of them with walkie talkies. Uh-huh, and this is no internet man We're talking about 1989 this guy beat the fuck out of this guy with a walkie-talkie in the face

He was getting fucked up they rolled him over and tied him up it was crazy It was great and that the tackle I remember this guy getting tackled off of the fucking golf cart The whole thing was nuts. I was like oh Jesus. This is like not worth Yeah, I'm getting paid and fighting is like you know I've been beat up a few times in my day But what time I jump kicked a guy in the stomach and he lost his he was like and I felt horrible I was like ah geez I don't be this guy Yeah, even in fights you feel horrible. Yeah, it's like pummeled, but it's like in the street. It's so or in the world It's so dangerous outside of a competition because no one's gonna stop that guy from stomping your fucking head when you're unconscious No one's gonna stop some guy from biting your nose off. You don't know fighting with is a crazy person Yeah, how's your eyes out? It's fucking dangerous like anybody who just wantonly engages in random violence with strangers

You're just asking to get maimed Yeah Especially if you fuck up and run into some guy who actually knows how to fight and I'm sure you've all seen those videos online They're horrific horrific. I don't know what he's doing and he just gets Destroyed for the rest of his life his life is gonna be fucked his legs He's gonna be limping forever cuz some guy decided to snap his fucking femur in half Oof Yeah, it was like, yeah

Scary shit, man I went to LSU, there was this place called Tigerland, it was where all the bars were And these guys would fight, these big white guys in polo shirts and they would Be on the cement, like kicking each other in the face, it was brutal With like a boat shoes on Jesus Christ great on a guy go to a gym boys You're so Dave Kevin James was working as a bouncer at a bar and the guy was working with killed somebody went to jail Knocked the guy out. He got in a fight with some drunk guy knocked him out the guy fell down hit his head died Who?

Has all the time fight Don't fight back. When you KO a guy and they fall, they get hit with the earth, bang! Yeah. That's your fucking head. Your whole body, all your fucking, all that torque, bang! On your head.

On cement. Yeah, true. Yeah. Blacked out and hit his head. That's right. Yeah, I mean fucking, it's a horrible way to go, man. Hitting your head on, that one, what was that girl's name? Which she was joking around.

That's a good way to go, to be honest. Heather McDonough. Heather McDonough, when she was joking around about the vaccine, then blacked out on stage and bangs her head. It was so fun. It was so great because that was an unintentional, solid joke.

It was the universe telling a joke. I don't give a fuck. And then fucking passed it out. It was like, that is a good joke. Unattended. I would never fall down right now. It was the universe telling a joke. I don't give a fuck. And then fucking passed it out. Was like, that is a good joke. Unattended. Fall down right now? It was the universe. The universe was telling us everything was fucked up.

What she was saying was fucked up. It was almost like God was like, you're not getting away with this. We're gonna make a video. Bang! Yeah, that was the pandemic time. It was like the Will Smith slap, that whole thing, Bob Saget.

Those were wacky couple of years. Will Smith slap was wild. It was all so crazy like everybody lost their fucking minds Yeah, this rock back. Yeah, we got Chris rock back from that. Yeah, right Chris rock became Chris rock again He went hard again. He was doing like Oscar friendly stuff You know he was trying to like be in with these you wanted to be Kevin Hart want to be a movie star want to do all those things yes Chris are between two Oscars ish or whatever Golden Globes was like hard when he took some abuse for it and then like all right let me just go light and now back to real Chris Rock yeah you don't want that dude mad at you oh yeah then a whole year to stew and write a bit about you that was a big one. Oh yeah, Chappelle too.

He got that whole thing on the Hollywood Bowl. I think everybody should do a live one once. You should all do a live one. It's fun. It's weird. How do you feel about it? Fun. Ready. I just prepared way more than I ever would have prepared. I mean you're a club comic, so that was ideally suited for it. What do you mean?

Club comics are used to dealing with all sorts of stuff. Right. Theater comics are like, dealing with all sorts of stuff. Theater comics, it's all set up well. Right, right, right, right, right. For chaos. But there was very little chaos. There was only one guy yelled something out, but it was fun. I was ready.

I just made sure I was ready. And also, it's nice because you don't have to edit. Oh, less work. Oh, yeah. Editing is a bitch. Editing can suck my dick. You've got to my dick. I Watched myself from Friday night to that helped cuz I hated it

Even though I killed I had a filmed Friday night first so I got to see that I watched I was like, ooh Yeah, it's awful. I've seen it too many times. It's like you don't you don't you lose everything. What's funny? What's not but I was but Friday night killed so I was like look we already got it in the can when Saturday night rolls around. I'm fine get loose Yeah, I was loose as fuck. I smoked a joint had a drink. Let's go Oh, no normal that felt like a normal show. It is where comedy is where it's like hey guys Yeah, here. It was fun, and the audience was awesome. So it was easy. It was fun San Antonio is a great comedy town. Oh, they were so happy. It was it and the audience was awesome, so it was easy. It was fun. San Antonio is a great comedy town Oh, they were so happy. It was it's a fun place

Texas is just fun period. That's a Yeah, Texas rules. I always used to think that about Houston. I always used to love going to doubt the Florida Colorado Denver Denver's awesome. It's just like smart and chill Denver's awesome. It's just like yeah smart Yeah, this place is where people like to party they're fun They're fun people yeah comedy is better than it's ever been before man I think about how many guys are killing it out there right now how many there's more top-level comics than ever More guys doing arenas than ever bar. God see, Segura, Burt, you guys, Shane.

I mean there's so many guys. I want to see Shane at the fucking, where the fucking 76ers play. We went, me, you and O'Connor went into the, and maybe Jay I think? Went into the back, Jeroz doesn't care about sports, but like, you could smell the hockey jerseys. They're like, yeah we haven't watched this yet.

And it's like, but even the theater, the the club comics are like more than ever. Yeah, the Jeff awesomest is or above Yeah, right. Like well the yeah, there's a ton you have the internet You can find some of the quality exposure Like I was talking to Tyler Fisher about this the other day someone offered him a deal to do some kind of a special And something and I was like listen man put just put it on YouTube Yeah, you want to get people to see you. Whatever money they're paying you, you would pay 10 times more for the exposure

to be on YouTube, it's 100 times more valuable. Just put it on the YouTube. YouTube can get a little queefy with the censor. But people will share it. They'll share it. They got Fahim, they got Joe List. Yeah, Joe List said cunt. They, Joe said he hunt like a for he What they do with for him?

That once they decide wrong they go stop sharing it and then the growth just stops because computers are watching it's like Yeah, I shit which I feel they're like Flagging it I think it's people flagged for him As well as Joe lists assholes dude assholes people don't like Louis CK No, not with Fahim. Who's flagging Fahim? Assholes! Not with Joe List. Assholes! Dude, assholes! People don't like Louis CK, they know Louis CK's friends with Joe List. Dude, trust me, assholes flag it.

You say cunt, they're gonna flag it. It's a word. Whatever you say. So it used to be, you say a word, whatever, and they go, hey that's a flag, and they go, hey no, that's a stand up, so it's okay. Come on! You guys are alone. Go suck each other's dicks in your fucking bathroom.

Alright, I'm listening. Put it down, baby! Before I go. Plugs. Oh yeah. Mark, plug your dates. Mark, plug your dates while we shoot. Yeah, do it, boys!

Check out Pages of Stage on PunchUp.com. Mark Norman comedy. Mark Norman slash Punch Up, or Punch Up slash Mark Norman. Pages of Stage. No, put one. Ari's on there too. Larry David's on there. Jolas, Sam Morrill, all the guy. Michelle Wolf, all on Punch Up. Punch-up or punch-up slash Mark Norris stage Michelle wolf all the punch-up. I said your name. Thank you. And yeah, check out Ari's you got a new special coming out You got Adrian's special you got January 14th will be my new special America's sweetheart on Netflix

Also, they are picking up Jew the first YouTube to Netflix special of all time Will be in May ish. Oh, yeah, not official date yet. Also Pittsburgh with Adrian Atlanta Tahoe Vancouver Calgary Edmonton Portland Bunch of San Antonio San Jose a bunch of other stuff archfury.com for tickets all new hour, and then I'm done til 2017. Get some bodega cat, I am in New Orleans for Thanksgiving. Tickets are horrific, please come to the Orpheum,

and we might be drunk, you be trippin'. You be trippin' in my new travel blogger, Norman's the only guest that's been on there twice? Yeah, it's an honor, and a pleasure, and a privilege. I gotta go back and we might be drunk for the special. Oh yeah, come back. You just did the Adrian show. I did the Adrian one, but I always do one of my own.

Every comment is her again. Oh, because it's nonstop all week. She's here, she's on Legion Skanks, she's on that. That was a good one though. That was fun, that was fun. We did Skanks, me and Adrian, at some point we just sat back and watched Jay be funny. Jay is so fucking funny.

We're just like, Let's just enjoy this. He can really talk. God damn. He can run, he can roll. He's a natural, he's a natural ladies and gentlemen. And you wanna join in, but you're like actually take the stage. Yeah, I'll ruin it.

Yeah. That's the thing, right? It's like finding a way, like you gotta know when to step in and when to lay back. It's pretty cool, we know some of the funniest people out there. And Lewis will give you a join. Dang!

Like we talk about the hang This like you know it's the most important thing and in life is the hang in the green room. Hell. Yeah, it's the most fun Yeah, it's what everyone wonders. What's the green room like you're like yeah exactly what you think yeah? It's a barrel of laughs. Yeah, it's gonna kill you bro. It's kind of like a podcast and then we're all friends It's a podcast every night. Yeah, but way more you can go farther way further You just cuz you can keep up I still want and you dose my Diddy I Put like 10% of mine in the air

Keep ditty I put like 10% of mine in here I had 90% you 110% Should we get some food at some point? There's that crazy. Maybe a little din din I don't know every time we go out after this I'm always well. I don't love it We go out to dinner after this I feel like a fucking alien what do you mean? I've like a fucking alien. What do you mean? I've got a suggestion Let's stop by the supermarket be massive states go to Shane's house and grill them. That's a lot of work That actually would be awesome. Yeah, let's live like regular people. Let's go to a fucking restaurant dressed up like the Jaguar people Front row at a Brooklyn audience.

We're supposed to have program stuff for this. What happened to our costumes? I want to get a yellow nylon zoot suit. Are we doing Mar-a-Lago? Yeah, we have to. We have to. We helped Trump get elected. Yo, I got a special June, January 14th. Are we doing the... Let's do Blow It, Don here. When do you finish shooting? Oh? Maybe we do that at Mar-a-Lago

Now we have to wait until you get it. It's way to get obviously gonna walk on dude He's gonna walk on let's do it and play the day after the play the day after or right then we talked about it on The podcast and Don jr. Reached out to me said I can make that happen Do it and play the day after, or right then. We talked about it on the podcast and Don Jr. reached out to me, said I could make that happen. Holy shit. I posted a support of Tony Hinchliffe and Don Jr. was like, I love it. Whoa!

We can make it happen. Don Jr. Isn't it interesting that like John Jones We just need Baron. Defends the heavyweight title. We need Baron. John Jones defends the heavyweight title and then does the Trump dance Yeah, and then gives his belt to Trump like the world's changed like everything's flipped. Yeah completely It's completely flipped and like lost is John Jones is the greatest fighter of all time. He's a gladiator

Yeah, he's the best. I mean the NFL guys are doing it's hard to say he's not the best And I know he didn't beat Tom Aspinall and He hasn't fought Tom Aspinall yet. Tom's great There's always one guy but it's like he's beating that guy over and over and over again Dropping somebody fucking fuck off. He's never fought a guy like Tom. Tom's different. Tom's gonna be a problem, man. He's a giant dude He's fighting him next to his retirement. He might fight whoever he wants to fight. John Jones could Jones could do whatever he wants to do right now if I Imagined what's actually happening though? I'd imagine he's saying he's not gonna fight Tom Aspinall although He's probably training for Tom Aspinall He wants to ramp up the amount of money that he can get

Which is a smart thing to do because it might be the last time he fights also underrated What nobody says about John Jones is he has of all the UFC fighters ever met the highest weed tolerance of anybody and no One's talking about it For five times a week I do really and is like a champion on airplanes I bet me allegedly Nate Diaz can get after allegedly bring it Nate versus John weed I bet John's more coherent Dana bring it that made for bring it that we all want to see it What was that a jujitsu competition, what was it called? Where they would us high rollers so they would get super baked and then they would have jujitsu competitions. It's smoked together

That's every day. Yeah, it is a little bit. That's Matt, my friend Matt put it together. And so he set this thing up. I think it was California where it was legal. So they all get super duper high. And then they would fight. I love it. I love it. They just do matches.

It was awesome. They should do that Coke version. Yeah. Did you guys see that study that they funded? I posted it on my Instagram where they gave Her was it gerbils or hamsters they give hamsters cocaine and steroids had them fight and like studied it No, fuck no Who studied that study?

Our government That sounds like science fair Bunch of nerds with an unlimited budget Hell yeah Supposedly serious scientists Science butchers with an unlimited budget For decades, I think they spent three million dollars on this by the way supposedly serious scientists Quote here the government spent three million dollars funding a study where they injected hamsters with steroids and cocaine and had them fight a completely ridiculous and unethical study, but I would like to see the data. I wanna see the data. This is why the terrorists hate us.

Bro, they hopped them up on cocaine and roids and they had them go to war. Because they were probably trying to figure out what's the best way to make a soldier. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I would do that. Like, you know, I've had conversations with like,

yeah, exactly. Well, also, I've had conversations with like special forces guys exactly. Well, also, I've had conversations with like, Special Forces guys, and they're like, you don't want to like, ask, is everybody doing steroids? But, uh, one of them said, the, whatever that soldier needs to do to make him the best soldier, I am all in on that. You know what, you know what fucked me up?

My, one of the guys in the SEALs, I was asking him about that, and I was like, you guys should all do steroids. What the fuck, who gives a fuck? And he was like, yeah, but then you're out get stuck out there and you run out and you run out and now you have a guy fucking Falling apart and I was like oh shit I should think about that. That's a very good point cuz she's she carries I was like yeah, you guys everywhere you go They should all fucking on steroids. Just keep steroids with you Just have like a fucking box that can't be like a bulletproof box with testosterone

And a fucking bag of needles is attached to your hips. Let's go Let's go cuz though yeah, I was like make them The most roided out freak of all time when you see these people that are talking about like Non-binary folks in the fucking military and then you see China and they're doing bear crawls up Have you seen that video the Chinese military doing bear crawls up a giant hill? Yeah? You ever do that workout you ever do bear crawls. I've never bear crawled sucks, bro. That's not fun It looks way easier than it is so hard. It's not hard I mean, it's not easy to do at all, but it looks easy like I can walk on my hands and knees easy Shut the fuck up. Yeah, and then you do like five steps You know like oh my god. My shoulders are shaking is that feet and hands you're walking

Yeah, but your weights all on your you know like this your weights on your feet in your hands. It's really hard You know really blows duck walks. Oh, yeah, there's a real line. Where'd you piss? Well, you know we do our comedy workouts I always make sure that everybody does those those deep squats except Brian Simpson. He's like he doesn't get tired The only thing he bitches out on is the sauna. Yeah I've never seen anyone we get that song No, I'm a son of blows. I get that song. I know 196 I know I watched all you guys come and go on sitting in there. Let's fucking go

Come on man. Can I I was at a McCusker show we met some seals and They go hey, I was in I was in Mark when you're such an important part of the show Hahaha beach balls mark. No when you're such an important part of the show I was in Yemen, and I was under cover whatever Embedded and then I went to have to do Oh, that's hard Going up and down. That's this is like a meme in China. I don't know about the military doing it

Oh, no, I saw some military guys do I know I've googled it. I'm not seeing for these guys Cool looking that's hard to do man. They've ever those guys are we can't find enough Americans do that make cool aid Don't they also walk that America's do we have enough American? Yeah, the elephant walk into McDonald's following Donald Trump's lead look. That's just 80 people that do it They were their punch in there bro. That is so hard to do The average age is 50 whoa Somebody's old these Hard to do yeah the average age is 50 whoa Somebody Don't raisin what our ads are doing these fucking these silly fucking inclusive things about the military

Their ads are trying to make Chinese men more masculine like everything is more. That's a fucking uphill climb. I think we're gonna flip though I think that those days are over. I think they're over too I think people realize how fucking dangerous it is to project this fucking insanity to the whole world We never played that Trump fucking thing on the internet. That's all right. Which is not that great. It was I got me riled up Oh, yeah, yeah I posted on my Instagram did okay cool go to my Instagram Jamie you find it cuz it's also with the words So it's Trent the transcript is on No, we're gonna do we want it. We want it. It's you're right. You want it. You want it

It's super important. We have all the time in the world man. We're Americans. We're Americans and Trump's the president Okay, they want me start from the beginning. Give me a little volume Sorry We're Americans and Trump's the president. Everybody want to be? Start from the beginning and give me a little volume. Sorry. I know. I understand. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. It's okay.

Damn, Brolin's handsome. He's a beautiful man. Free speech, then we just don't have a free country. It's as simple as that. If this most fundamental right is allowed to perish, then the rest of our rights and liberties will topple. Just like dominoes, one by one they'll go down. That's why today I'm announcing my plan to shatter the left-wing censorship regime and

to reclaim the right to free speech for all Americans. No, no, no, hold on. That is a very important word in this case because they've taken it away. In recent weeks, bombshell reports have confirmed that a sinister group of deep state bureaucrats, Silicon Valley tyrants, left wing activists, and depraved corporate news media have been conspiring to manipulate and silence the American people. They have collaborated to suppress vital information on everything from elections to public health. The censorship cartel must be dismantled and destroyed, and it must happen immediately. And here is my plan.

First, within hours of my inauguration, I will sign an executive order banning any federal department or agency from colluding with any organization, business or person to censor, limit, categorize or impede the lawful speech of American citizens. I will then ban federal money from being used to label domestic speech as miss or dis information and I will begin the process of identifying and firing every federal wow who has engaged in domestic censorship directly or indirectly whether they are the Department of Homeland Security should the Department of Health Human Services the FBI the DOJ no matter who they are Second I will order the Department of Justice to investigate all parties

Involved in the new online censorship regime, which is absolutely destructive and terrible And to aggressively prosecute any and all crimes identified These include possible violations of federal civil rights law, campaign finance laws, federal election law, securities law, and antitrust laws, the Hatch Act, and a host of other potential criminal, civil, regulatory, and constitutional offenses. To assist in these efforts, I am urging House Republicans to immediately send preservation letters. And we have to do this right now to the Biden administration, the Biden campaign, and every

Silicon Valley tech giant, ordering them not to destroy evidence of censorship. Third, upon my inauguration as president, I will ask Congress to send a bill million likes revising section 230 to get big online platform 230 what time does an agent if they meet high standards of neutrality transparency fairness and the likely curtailing their power to arbitrarily restrict lawful speech. Fourth, we need to up the entire- All right, you good? All right. Jamie, you good?

You got it? We got it. Jamie. I don't care if you don't like this guy. You can't be against this. That's a progressive idea. It's progressive. That is.

You have to be able to go, I'm against 95% of them. This part is okay. If you're not with that, you're not with free speech, so you're not with free discourse, you want to be right. None of it makes any sense. There's no logical explanation that you could possibly provide that would say that censoring speech by a bunch of people that have been known to be liars and criminals, like letting those people censor speech is crazy. You're letting people influence people with billions of dollars you're letting people that are engaged in really bizarre like the insider trading the insider trading is fucking bananas we let those people these are the people that you're letting dictate what can and cannot be

set online and you're trying to pretend that they don't have some sort of a financial interest one way or the other. You gotta let people talk. Anyone in the arts should be in favor of that. Everyone. Do whatever you want to do. Whatever you want to do. Jazz. Express what you want to express. If you want to make rap music, whatever you want to make, you need that. That's everything for us, for all of us.

That's a great thing about rappers. They don't really attack each other for being inappropriate. They're terrified that if they go off to rappers, they'll lose the entire segment of the population that likes rap music. Oh, interesting. Because everybody's sort of accepted that they like, if you listen to like old school Coogee rap or something like that, gangster music, you're accepting the fact that this is entertainment, just like a fucking Al Capone movie. And it's fun to listen to. If you start going after those people and you demand that kind of censorship you're gonna lose Not just the people in the black community

You're gonna lose the people in the white community that like rap China Asian community that Chinese Japanese like name it everybody likes rap everybody likes leave us the fuck alone He's rappers leave it leave us the fuck alone And if you don't leave us the fuck alone then you're gonna lose all the votes So I don't think they can go after rap music. I think they have to leave rap music alone. Yeah. And it should be like, say what you want to say, especially in the arts, and that's okay. That's just your stance.

It's okay. You should be allowed to have all kinds of shit. Do you remember when Sister Soulja had that rant? And Bill Clinton had this rebuttal to it on TV that probably won him the election. Oh yeah. What was that? He went after Whitey. Yeah, she was talking about like, here we'll play it.

We'll play it, because then I want to paraphrase it. Because we played it really recently. It shows you how good Clinton was when he was in his prime. Oh yeah, well the Dems lost for years. When he wasn't raping, he was fucking on fire. I think it's like him and Obama are the goats. It's like the John Jones and the fucking George St. Pierre of politics What's always been best about the Rainbow Coalition, which is people coming together across racial lines here

The Rainbow Coalition was Jesse Jackson Louisiana that you had here last night a great role model We don't have a lot of time to do this We don't have a lot of time great hairline You had a rap singer here last night who named sister soldier. Mm-hmm. I defend her right to express herself through music But her comments before and after Los Angeles were filled with the kind of hatred that you do not honor today and tonight Just listen to this What she said what ass pussy Told the Washington Post about a month ago, and I quote if black people kill black people every day

Why not have a week and kill white people? So you're a gang member, and you'd normally kill somebody Why not kill a week and kill white people? So you're a gang member and you'd normally kill somebody, why not kill a white person? Last year she said, you can't call me or any black person anywhere in the world a racist. We don't have the power to do to white people what white people have done to us. And even if we did, we don't have that low down dirty nature. If there are any good white people, I haven't met them. Where are they? Right here in this room. That's where are they? Right here in this room. Right here in this room? Shut up you rapist. I know she is a young person but she has a big

influence on a lot of people and when people say that if you took the words white and black and you reversed them you might think David Duke was giving that speech. Oh it's a good point. Let me tell you we all make mistakes and sometimes we're not as sensitive as we ought to be and We have an obligation all of us to call attention to prejudice wherever we see it a few months ago I made a mistake Didn't have any African American members I

Was criticized for doing it. You know what I was was criticized for doing it. You know what? I was rightly criticized for doing it. I made a mistake. Good for him. I said I would never do that again. And I think all of us have got to be sensitive to that. We can't get anywhere in this country pointing the finger at one another across racial lines. If we do that, new math of this election it's hard to get to a 34% solution or a 40% solution if the American people can be divided by race. Look at Jesse. Amazing. He was so good. To admit you're wrong no one ever does it anymore. So smooth the way he did it was so smooth Jamie We got her

One one bong yet was enough for young Jamie, let's get some states to go to Shane's house and grill them I'm actually totally all right with that. What about your roommate? Lamar yeah, the mayor's cool. He'll grill for us. Maybe put on time Have to be the griller yes Let's go do that. Let's do that. I'm a pool. I turned the hot tub on Dude okay anything else should we cover anything else before we wrap this bitch up? We have to wait for JMo. We have to wait for JMo. We got Ellen leaving. I'm like, oh no.

We talked to Jake Paul fight. That was so bad. That was a real waste of time. That seemed like a sparring match. The Jussie Smollett fight was better. I would like to see a video of that. He got off by the way. I know.

I knew he was innocent the whole time. I knew he got off by the way. I know just a little bit. Yeah I knew he was innocent the whole time What was the find out how What would you want the truck the four years now, what would you want one thing to be done over four years? Yeah, release the JFK files That's one that's one stop the Stop the war. Stop the wars first. Stop the wars. Ukraine, Gaza, Stapa.

Mark. Well, I like the censorship thing. That's silly. Why do I only have to have one? I don't know. You're sure. You're right. Wars is number one.

Wars is always going to be number one. I'd like to end the Cuba embargo. Doesn't seem to be doing anything. The instead, absolutely. Instead the conviction was overturned because the Illinois Supreme Court ruled five to zero that a special prosecutor should not have been allowed to intervene after the Cook County State's attorneys initially dropped the charges against Smollett in exchange for forfeiting his $10,000 bond and conducting community service.

That should have been punishment enough enough and so they decided to make it public and make a big deal out of it. That's reasonable. Because otherwise, was he going to jail? Did he have to go to jail? Ms. Pat was the best before anyone said it was fake. Before anyone. Oh yeah, she called it. I will say I was day one. She goes, she goes, motherfucker. Who's going to use namebrand bleach to attack somebody?

Here it is 15 years in prison oh my god He funds and Made everyone think there's racism when there's none he's an actor It's like a baby that like bit an electric cord yeah, Bridget said the best Bridget Post you said the best you can't let the actors write the fucking script. Well actors write everything now That's like we Johnny Depp trial too. It's like there's certain times where the actors get involved in their own Script writing and get pretty nutty. Yeah, I adapt during that interview was so funny because when they're like, what's his box for?

There's a coke. Yeah Yeah. Yeah. What? What do you think's in there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Isn't it crazy she put on makeup and said he beat her? Like she just completely lied. Well, some people do that. I know, but why? The people are like, wow, maybe she has a point. He was originally sentenced to 150 days in jail, 30 months of probation, in order to pay a fine of $130,000. He only spent about one week in prison before being released. Because he did a big wanted.

God damn, they put him in jail For a week though. Oh, they did the whole thing stupid as fuck, but it's just an attention grab No one's a victim of it other than everybody's sensibility But there's no real victim of it if he victimized someone I would see I think the public humiliation of people finding out It's like it's enough. We don't have to cage people look for something stupid It's a stupid thing and it's also a stupid thing from an actor that's involved in this bizarre industry that props people up for no reason then shoots them down it's a fucking chaotic bizarre way to live your life you're

probably insane if you're involved in it but it's a good sign for our country like hey this thing actually didn't happen he had to make this up. Yeah it's great. This shit doesn't happen in the streets. It's a hoax. It's just like an actor writing this is a magr country picture in Chicago. Yeah what country? What the fuck are you talking about? I know pouring bleach on it. God they wanted it so bad to be this thing. Here's my favorite part. That's cool. My favorite part was when he walked in with the noose still around his neck. You have to leave the noose. You don't take the news off cuz anyone knows can't believe you right? It's like when I wear a fucking festival arm band six months later You're amazing Rodriguez movie you're amazing. You still got your October 7th dance? I actually have that. That was a festival.

Bro if Trump can just stop both of those fucking things from popping off. That would be great. It's worth everything else he tweets about. Yeah of course. That's the whole point. Get in there and stop this shit. Just cool everyone down. Just chill out let's have a good time. I think his like feistiness kind of makes him his own worst enemy in a certain way like in like why people hate him when he tweets like I hate

Taylor Swift Like his feisty this is fucking but that's also what kept him in this thing So if I think about it psychologically like I think about certain competitors in sports were fighting There's people that are just like complete fucking maniacs, like Michael Jordan, and that's why they're the best. They're complete maniacs, and the complete maniacs are oftentimes not so good at controlling their initial thought.

Yeah, I think Jordan would bribe baggage handlers to get his bag out first, because you bet with Scottie Pippen whose bag would come out first. I think Trump's ego is actually maybe a good thing because he'll do to me what everybody says he is. So we're sitting here being like he's gonna be the one to end the wars.

And I think he'll be like, yeah. I have to now. I am the one that's gonna end the wars. I think he, I mean that's how I kinda of look at it is like I think his ego is actually I mean It's a good thing because I think he will yeah He's gotta be like guys you both done wrong, but can we stop this did not drain the swamp But that's a good question that I had for him like what was it like making like 10,000 appointments, and he's like we made a lot of things He's like we I've never governed before like it's essentially and every time he's talked about this

He said like you you enter into this new thing the gates man the gates man was Matt Gates get the fuck out of he's gone. Well. He had a bet he had a back down seems like I know but it's like Bro, if I see you like first off your dude with insane Plastic surgery on your face. He's got the Botox I heard he was like Matt Gates you gotta resign so I can appoint you to this thing and then he resigns like fuck off Loser, is that what he did? I heard. Did you speak that up? No, somebody told me. I didn't just make it up. He told Matt Gaetz you got to resign so I can appoint you and Matt Gaetz like why do I have to resign? He goes trust me trust me you resign. I appointed you to this thing. Oh, and he goes okay

I resign goes not appointing you. No, I think you I think with Matt Gaetz. Where did you hear this? He's mad. He's Jewish. Oh where? Somewhere at the comedy mothership. At the tunnels. At the temple. Somebody told me that. I don't even know who that guy is. You are spreading misinformation. This is't even know who that guy is. That was a tunnel whisper. You are spreading misinformation. This is why they want to censor internet. No, I heard it. I think it was. All right, you're fucking up my whole show.

So is he not a congressman anymore? RFK Jr., that's what a guy's supposed to look like when he's his age. That's a healthy mug. Healthy guy, ripped, strong, 70 years old. Yay, that's it. No fucking Botox. You know how botulism shot your fucking face.

What is that stuff? Is it botulism? Isn't that what it is? Him and Cheryl, still fuck, you can tell. Who and who? Him and Cheryl. He definitely is. Oh, I've got medieval on Cheryl.

Yeah, you can tell there, she's the one. How do you think, do you think what he can respect? Have some respect. I'm a mouth, I'm a mouth, I'm a mouth, I'm a mouth of slipper ass. He's Like a car that can't start That's an old day to see what happens if that guy gets into a position of influence and power if he takes my fruit loops I'm gonna throw him the capital Okay, but we are obese we are addicted I know a lot of people are skipping my RFK, but we are obese. We are addicted to opioids. We are fucked up. That's true, but I have to tell you, I was looking at the images, the difference between the Canadian fruit loops and the American fruit loops online, and I'm willing to take the risk of the red dye.

What do you mean? They look so much cooler. Look how much cooler they look. I'll tell you, I would- Show me the difference, Jamie. I ate a bowl today. If you just eat a little bit every now and then, how bad is that red dye? Give us some colorful stuff. I switched them a ago. Listen to me bottom. I'm fine

I've eaten a thousand bowls of fruit Let's take a look at what the fruit loops look like in Canada versus like look at that Don't want to eat it every day, but I want the one on the left Years ago to take them out and they did but no one bought it The one on the right looks like that generic stuff that you buy when you're poor the bag, you know what it's like for the serial That's like That's why Canadians are sad they have bad fruit. Yeah, just don't eat it every day fucking idiots

Don't eat it all the time. Don't feed it to your kids Plainly a sad saskatoon. That's not nutrition. That's nonsense as you'd eat occasionally Occasional nonsense is good for you. It's crazy. They tried to nail him on the Froot Loops, and he's exactly right I know I know Like Froot Loops. Yeah, Times fact-checked check. Which one of you fucking dumbasses eating fruit loops? And get, you know what I mean? They should do better with the FDA. Obviously he's right, don't eat fucking fruit loops.

Right. Yeah, we have a health director that's like, yeah, crush fruit loops. But we've been pushing balanced breakfast for 30 years with the cereal. Yeah, it's crazy, he's part of this balanced breakfast. Yeah. LOL. Yeah. Fruit loops, it's cardboard.

We're all some fucking eggs, what are you doing to that kid? Yeah, autism's up, depression's up, loops, it's cardboard. They're all some fucking eggs. What are you doing to that kid? Yeah, autism's up, depression's up, all that shit's up. This is too much money. There's too much money that's being funneled to people. That's really all it is. The pharmaceutical drug companies make so much money. They have so much power.

But I thought we cared about people's health. But you're supposed to. They're supposed to too. It's not supposed to be you shouldn't make any money. It's like you shouldn't make as much money as you possibly can while lying. Should do it at the risk of everyone. But that's a liberal thought.

It is. Everybody still needs pharmaceutical drugs. Like they've come up with some amazing drugs that have kept people alive. But you can't let them just make as much money as they possibly can while lying. That's the problem. It's like you have to know like how much of this stuff

is safe and how much of this stuff is untested. And what are the tests and are you being honest or are you just like making these tests work for you? Are you bullshitting? So if you're bullshitting, then you're trying to make more money than you should. You should still be able to make a fuckload of money because there's a ton of pharmaceutical drugs

that are awesome that people need. But you can't make as much money as possible while lying. And that's the thing. It's not like it's an anti-pharmaceutical drug. It's an anti-human perspective to not look at it this way. It's to say you're gonna allow these people that are only motivated by money to just wreck havoc on people's health for profit. And either you're cool with that or you're not cool with that. And if you're cool with that and you call yourself a progressive, that's kind of crazy.

It's kind of crazy that you want an unregulated corporation that has a literal obligation to their shareholders to make the most profit possible. And then you get these fucking corporate assassins to run these things and then you have insane amounts of money that you're spending on the media. There's no way anybody gets a fair shake at what the fuck is actually going on.

Advil's okay, Purdue's not. There's even, you know, a lot of those things are not good for you, man, that people take on a regular basis and you don't know it because it's being hidden from you. Yeah. Follow your nose. You know, I read this story about this lady who had COVID and she was really hurting.

So she took too much Tylenol She died from liver failure. Whoa, because if you take too much Tylenol, it'll fucking kill you really yes I didn't know that last headache you ever had if you just go ham and think the more Tylenol the better You just start chewing on them. You will have a fucking real problem. I took like five today. Yeah Everyone should know that. Yeah, you should know. You should fucking know that. I didn't know that.

It's not that you shouldn't be able to get Tylenol. Of course you should have Tylenol. Everybody likes Tylenol. You get a headache, take Tylenol, you feel better. But it's like everyone should fucking know what is really dangerous for you. What studies have you done and how honest are you being? And are you just trying to make more money? Yeah in the 90s they took all the Tylenol off the shelf remember that

No, this was about Tylenol failure Covids hard on your liver. So oh, yeah, I'm sure It's hard on yeah, but but but the thing is like people have died from Tylenol without cove it Oh, it does Tylenol without COVID. COVID does suck. Tylenol, acetaminophen, Google how many deaths of acetaminophen every year. Because that's an interesting statistic.

That's interesting. Google that every year. Yeah, good for you. That's going to be a tough spell. Deaths. Per year. Got it. That's an autofill.

That's an autofill for sure. Spot speed. Look at that. 458. Eh, that's not that much 458 deaths every year due to acute liver failure. Well, that's 458 people didn't have to die. Yeah. Yeah All the people that like had to be hospitalized. Go back to that, please. Look at this.

2,600 hospitalizations, 56,000 emergency room visits. So it's not just the 458 people that died. It's 56,000 people that probably got on death's door. It was the point where they had to go to the fucking emergency room. And 2,600- They didn't call us at poison control centers. Yeah, it it's real a lot of people like going emergency room, too Look at how many how many weed emergency rooms there are or people go I eat all the popcorn

Oh my god, I had a friend of mine, and I think it was like his sister's husband was a was like his sister's husband was a complete hypochondriac, like a full on. Like he would go to the hospital, like emergency room like all the time. All the time. And she was going crazy. She didn't know what to do about it.

He was like completely nuts. Like he would just get checked into the hospital and there was nothing wrong with him. And then he would just decide that there was something wrong with him. He had to go right now and he'd go and there was nothing wrong with him. And it was like a regular thing. Jesus Christ. Yeah. But that's a stat.

That's in the sense he was like her husband and they had children together and you got this guy who's a doctor who just can't stop going to the doctor. Like he was like really kooky. It became like a real phobia, like a real mental pathology. The doctor sucks. Don Baris was constantly thinking something was going wrong, so he was just in this constant state of anxiety about his health.

Yikes. It's a real thing that happens to people. Don Baris got high with popcorn weed, like edibles, and then ate the rest of the bag, and then went to sleep and woke up, and was like, what the, something's wrong with me. Went to the hospital and the doctor tested him, and he goes, you smoke weed the fuck something's wrong with me. What's the hospital and doctor tested him and goes smoke weed and Don's like

You went too hard I never go to the hospital I gotta be shit and blood Me and Ari were playing pool once and Ari was limping. I go why are you limping? He goes spider bit me. I go let me see it. He pulls up his knee. I go. Oh my god, dude You have a staph infection. I go we gotta go to the hospital right now I unscrewed my cue right now. We gotta go to the hospital right now. You gotta get to emergency room Raging staph infection My dad went to the hospital for his heart attack. He was like I'm tired. I'm going upstairs He was laying in bed. He started googling. He was like hey Siri. What are the heart attack? well

About jujitsu gyms is they don't fucking tell you the dangers of staff Infection pictures of what that looks like hundred percent is a step a staff infection is if you don't wash yourself and always a dirty Bitch, we all know it. Listen, I can't argue with that. If you don't wash yourself, then you're getting scratched. You're scraping your knee on the ground. The mat.

Nails. Low jabs. Dude's fingernails scratch you. That's about right. That's about right. You get it. If you don't wash yourself, like I'm diligent. If I do Jiu Jitsu, I use defense soap.

It's a natural soap. I would wash my hands or go do spots I wash my whole I lather up my whole body I let it sit on me for like a couple of minutes and then I rinse it off yeah if I have any kind of scratches I have wipes and I wipe the scratches really yeah I've got staff twice they should do a better job of that in jets of. Tate Fletcher told me I had staff the first time. It's one of the reasons why I was happy I could tell you. Because I was sitting, me and him were at the airport, we were chilling, I was wearing shorts and

I had my foot up on my knee like that and he goes, what's going on to your calf? And I go, what is that? He goes, what is that? And I go, I don't know. It was like a couple of red dots, so I get something. He goes, dude, that might be a staph infection. Seriously? That's how guys are. It looks like that? That's how guys are like that that's how guys are so I immediately went to the doctor he's like that's staph whoa they tested it they gave me antibiotics and I was like whoa yeah I was like I said I'll go to the doctor tomorrow and Joe's like dude I'm telling you I understand quick you gotta go now it's about to become systemic yes yeah you gotta catch it quick one of Brian

Callan's friends wife's died from staff. She tried to treat it She tried to be like holistic and take vitamins and shit like you got to go to the crystals doctor. See this is the thing We're talking about that's my favorite anti-vaxxers is where the crystal people and the super rednecks come together This is why we need balance right because with pharmaceutical drugs like antibiotics are fucking super important They're super important and it saved your life for sure your knee was fucked I was if I was like I was your little finger from a zone It's a problem. It was like you ever look at it if you looked at a zit under a microscope That's what it was like. I was like, this is huge. Why you live?

Yeah, he was limping from a zit. It was that bad. You didn't know guys just assume like I think I'm okay Let's just go away. It was Hollywood. I got a doctor's he was hobbling around the table I was like what is going on man? Whoa if I didn't look at your knee, dude, and you just left that go You would be a dead man. Yeah, you're like Joe like pull your Such a good Stopped my heart stopped when I saw it hello doggy the moment I saw that Giants it I eat my literally my breath stopped oh my god we're gonna get your hospital right now that was the same pool sessions I've got

Joe goes to the bathroom this is before any the podcast even and uh he goes about this guy's clocks them and he comes back he goes to Joe there he goes we think that big fight and Joe's like oh which one it goes I don't know I gotta pee again let's wrap this up we do it we saved the world J-mo once more in football one more time Mark Norman calm yes Make sure you watch tires it's coming out films right now. What is it coming out spring or summer? Okay? Let's go. Let's fucking go arch fear this special coming out special 14th the week six days before inauguration

Rhymen in Nashville beautiful Ari. Let's get you on the books like right before the special After he gets in that's January 20th, we do protect our parks I'm gonna get him on the books and then we'll do a protector of the Mar-a-Lago. We needed this one. I missed you guys Kids Let's go! Let's all play golf. Let's go! Let's go! Hey, sex with kids! Let's go to Shane's! Hey, you just fucked it all up, Mark. No, I'm sorry. Cut that.

Cut that part. Dude, I love you guys so much. This was fun shit. Thank you.