The Joe Rogan Experience - #2300 - Kyle Dunnigan

Episode Date: April 5, 2025

Kyle Dunnigan is an actor and stand up comedian. He also is the creator and host of "The Kyle Dunnigan Show". https://www.kyledunnigancomedy.com/ Get a free welcome kit with your first subscription of AG1 at drinkag1.com/joerogan Go to ExpressVPN.com/ROGAN to get 4 months free! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience. Shrain by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Quiz who very famous person wrote What is that from what what show is that from? seven days Yeah begins with an s Stanford and son yes who wrote it? You're not gonna believe it Quincy Jones really yes, and it's if you hear the whole song. It's a really good song I used to love that show Stanford and someone's fucking great funny. It was funny ridiculous Red Fox was the man

He was so funny on that. I actually didn't like that theme song Here we go when I first heard it That was back when sitcoms were sitcoms oh That one was like way I felt like way better like threes company sucks if you watch that now I was like the number one sitcom. Snaps are still good. Yeah, you know what's Underrated that I really never gave a chance. Wait I want to guess. Big Bang Theory. Oh fuck. Fuck I fucked it up Sorry, I would have said Big Bang Theory. It's a good show I used to shit on it because I saw clips with you know, you know where they're not laughs. Yeah

Yeah, that's you know what that is. That's like retakes When you work on a sitcom, sometimes you have to do pickups. Yeah, I actually don't know but yes Oh you do pickups and nobody knows anymore. Nobody does it anymore. Yeah, miss Pat is like the only person I know what a sitcom Yeah, I couldn't name one sitcom. Think about all the comics we know. I know one comic with a sitcom, Miss Pat, and it's on a streaming. It's on BET.

Yeah, and that was everything. When I was first starting, your whole thing was like, you have to get a sitcom or you don't have any money. Yeah, or you're never gonna have a career because there was no way to get people to come see you in the clubs Unless you had a special or unless you had a sitcom. Yeah, and I remember Zack Galifianakis I was pilot season member that whole thing. Yeah, that was huge like pilot seasons coming up Oh, yeah, everybody would be in town for pilots. Yeah. Yeah, everybody would be like a special kind of anxious. Yeah

Everybody would be like a special kind of anxious. Yeah. Because your whole fucking career was laying on this moment where you walked into this room and there was these weirdos, these casting people, there were always really socially bizarre people. And like tired and mad, they've seen some people and it's always a tiny room. And they're the kings and you are a peasant

begging for a bowl of soup. Yeah, and when you walk in, they know they don't want you. They also know you're broke. Yeah, and you have that desperate energy. You want them to be, you want them to love you. Hi, hi guys, want you to like me. Off-putting is what it is.

Death. I didn't get any, I never got a sitcom. I auditioned probably for a thousand. I don't know why someone didn't say this isn't, you're not good at this. No one told me. You could have been a big bank theory, ironically. I could have been.

You would have been a fucking major get for them. I would have been a huge get for them. Show would have been a lot better. I had, actually, I did get one of them. Now this is a story, let me tell you this story. Okay. So I go in and you know, you got like a callback, okay? First casting director.

And then you're like, please like me. Then you're like callback and like, oh, they like me. Second callback. Now I get like real nervous. I can make it. It was a show, Happy Family. Ever hear of that?

No. Little nugget. What year are we talking about? 2003. That guy, a larraquette was on it. Oh yeah. I remember him saying, he was, you know, he's dropping on the set and he goes, my friend Don told me that on my gravestone it should say it's not a great plot but Larraquette's in it. He told that funny joke. Boy, he was, the John Larroquette show was on the same lot

as I was when I was filming news radio and Lenny Clark who's a good friend of mine forever? Lenny was on that show and you know, I'm running the Lenny in the parking lot We talked but we would watch their feed with John Larroquette would like yell at people That's you the feed is always they forget there's a fee Yeah, if you were screaming about but no one had a cell phone back then, you know, we're talking in the 90s So this is probably 94 something like that. Yeah, and it was a bizarre scene man I never adjusted to be in on television never did that's a good gig though. I mean shit that was like Yeah, but I couldn't wait to not do it anymore once I did it really yeah and I had the best version of it I had the

best version of it hilarious cast brilliant writers what was that the stress of it it was just like I just wanted to do stand-up you know it's just because you're getting a little famous and then you have eight lines yeah and you said they could do whatever you want and they're like blah blah blah listen as far as that was also the problems, I knew I was never going to get another sitcom like news radio. The other sitcoms that I read for were fucking garbage. After that, did they want you to do some something after? Yeah, there was a few opportunities. I had a couple of development deals to do stuff. But then when Fear Factor came on,

my first thought was like, yes, no actors. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't have to deal with the whole thing. The whole thing of the schmoozing and the going to these award things and these parties and these press junkets that you had to do. I didn't like it. It just felt, I don't know.

It was just weird. I never auditioned for anything. Like I auditioned for a couple commercials in New York. I auditioned for two shows ever. Hardball. Bring it back to my Larroquette story. Don't think you would forget. No, no, I wanna hear this.

I wanna say it out loud, because I set up a story and then I didn't finish it. So I got this show when I was living in New York. It was called Hardball and I came out here to LA. Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, it was a baseball show. I remember. Jim Brewer was in the pilot with me.

I saw like. Mike Starr from Goodfellas was in it. I don't know that guy. Bruce Greenwood, who was in Star Trek. He's been in everything. He's a great actor. He was in it. He was like the older pitcher that was like my nemesis. Terrible show.

Terrible show. Like, so bad. I think I saw like a... So bad. The intro of it or something. I remember hardball. Yeah, it lasted six episodes. And then the other show that I got was News Radio.

And it was the only other show I auditioned for. It was just... So I'm so... Everything else I auditioned for was like movies and stuff that I never got. And there was a couple of shows after News Radio was over that I auditioned everything else I auditioned for was like movies and stuff that I never got and there was a couple Of shows after news radio was over that I auditioned for that I didn't get but it was just like that It was so bizarre. So when I would go to these auditions for other things It wasn't that big a deal because I was already on news radio So it wasn't like if I didn't get these things it was like it would be okay, but it was like

Still the anxiety of that like I had money and it, it was like, this'll be okay. But it was like, still the anxiety of that. I had money and it was still like, oh, this is awful. This whole thing is so stressful and so weird. And everybody's so fucked up because you get a bunch of people that desperately want attention. And then you go there to this place where you're surrounded by people who are desperately want attention in Hollywood. And then you have this one moment in front of these people and they're looking at you like this. Okay, Kyle

Hi, so you're reading for Bobby. I love the script so funny, you know, Bobby's an athlete. Yeah No, I can do all the thing whatever you say. I can do it. I'm a good at it. Right? Okay Tim here is gonna read with you and Tim like could barely read it's always like some Tim here is gonna read with you and Tim like could barely read. It's always like some Probably on ketamine barely read and you have to like pretend like you're having this emotive moment with Tim I'm so glad I don't have to do that. Oh, it was the worst, but some people love it Some people look man, we're comics. Some people are actors They fucking love it like McConaughey that fucking dude loves like pouring himself into a role Getting psychotic about who the character is that's I wish I if I could go back

I wish I looked at those as like I've someone said that says like an opportunity to perform instead of like I'm trying to get Something right I didn't I was just desperate like I had no money I'm gonna have to get this I will say though if you're on a sitcom that has really good writing It's fun as shit news radio was how do you said you just got it? How'd you just just had a development deal with an NBC and they were gonna do I was gonna do my own show but they had a sitcom that they were already greenlit and Ray Romano was on it and Ray was like the maintenance guy and Ray got fired during the pilot Which is like the best thing that ever happened to me

It was on to do the radio everybody loves Raymond and it's fucking huge bigger than news radio ever was So like he he gets fired and another guy got hired and then he got fired So I didn't feel bad because I'm friends with Ray. I love Ray. There's I bet you that part just was not good It wasn't the actors fault because you audition and then I don't know what it was It's like you never know what they want Like when Paul the guy who created it Paul Sims is this brilliant guy who worked on? Fucking Larry

HBO Larry Sanders, thank you. He worked on Larry Sanders. He was a brilliant, brilliant guy. And he did a very clever thing. Like in the auditions, the first audition I read for, it wasn't funny. Like on purpose. They wanted to cut out all the people who were hamming it up. I was like, oh my God, this writing is nothing. So I'm like, I don't know what this is. So like, you know, the NBC asked me to go in and read for it.

I memorized the stuff and I was like, I don't even know what I'm saying. This doesn't make any sense. So I go in and I do it. It's like real flat. When I say thank you, and all of a sudden I have a callback. And then they send me the callback sheets and it's hilarious. And I was like, oh, whoa.

Or to see if you could turn something. Because that was a thing that everybody hated was the hammy, hammy sitcom actor. Come on, Bobby, what are you doing? You're good at that, that's really good. I've seen a lot of those guys. So they wanted to avoid that. And so then they had a call back

and it was just like me and two other guys. And these two other guys looked like they just got back from Vietnam. They were sweating, they're fucking pale in the face. That makes you confident, right? When you see someone nervous, you're like, oh, okay. Super confident. I looked at these guys like, oh, okay. Super confident. I looked at these guys like, oh, they can't handle pressure.

And I sat back in the couch and put my feet up on the coffee table like a dickhead. Yeah, you did? Yeah, while I was waiting, or in the waiting room, I was looking at these guys. I was looking at these guys panicking, and I was like, oh, it's just us? Yeah, yeah.

I got this. I had just a sketch show, one of the rare things I got. And the guy, I was so out of my mind nervous, and I could hear in the door, this guy not doing good, panicking, and I just got calm, and I was like, I got this. Then the show got canceled. Well, they all get canceled.

Yeah, like 90% of them don't, maybe even more, right, don't do the day to day. Most of them never make it to a second season, and definitely most of them never make it to syndication. They go a few episodes, then they get canned. I was on, go ahead. No, I'm just saying, if the production company's not making money, the network's not making money,

it's not getting ratings. I was in a situation, it was, Cedric the Entertainer Presents was a sketch show, and it was like, I was so excited. I remember that. Yeah, I joined mid-season. What year is this? 2003. And a I joined mid season. What year is this? 2003.

And I, big year for me. So I get there mid season, they're like, we need a white guy. I like pick on, you know, I was the token white guy. And Louis CK was a writer, was like a great fricking show. And this, he got into like a fight with the Fox. Here's where I knew things were downhill.

Now I didn't sell my car. I had a really, and I'd pull up to like the good spots and it was like Lamborghini, you know, and then it wasn't just a shitty car from like the early eighties. It was like, I had another four accidents. It was just a chunk. And I just was like, and so broke in a tiny apartment. I'm like, let me just see if I can. But it seemed like this was a a chunk. And I just was like, so broke in a tiny apartment.

I'm like, let me just see if I can. But it seemed like this was a hit show. It was doing well. Okay. So then it's like, first thing, first sign, it was like, hey, there's a Fox party tomorrow. And I was like, oh, cool. I made it in Hollywood.

So I go to this thing and I'm like, where's Cedric? And they're like, oh, he got into a big fight with the pet of Fox. He told me he was a douchebag. So I'm fighting. I'm like like that doesn't sound like a good idea To get so I'm like it'll be fun So then this is we were about to go on right after American Idol Which was like the biggest show in the world

So we're like get ready for the rocket ship and And then this guy put Wanda's psych show, took Cedric off the air for like six weeks to put Wanda's psych, not then off there, but like, yeah, to move the spot. So Wanda's show was after, and then Wanda's got amazing, you know, views. So it gave them excuse to cancel Cedric, even though Cedric was a hit, it was like a few.

Cedric seems like a nice guy. Yeah, he was very cool, nice to me. So, what happened? He did get on the phone during my audition though, at one point, I was in the middle of auditioning, and he was like, yeah. And it was kind of a casual call, it was clearly like not an emergency.

But I just like power through. But he was very cool, good guy, but. There's a different like culture of stardom versus people that want to be on a show. Like you're not the equal. What do you mean? Like if you're auditioning for a show and the guy who has the show is in the room,

there's this weird, you know, what is that number one on the call sheet? There's a little documentary about black actors. It's not black actors. It's just actors, period, in general. Like, I experienced that a lot in the news radio days with guys who were big movie stars, and they would like big time you in the weirdest way.

Like, you couldn't just say hi to them. You couldn't hang out with them. There's a few guys that just like, they were just really gross. And then there was guys like John Ritter, who was like the fucking nicest guy in the world to everybody. The nicest guy in the world.

Only he had good stories about John Ritter. Nicest guy in the world. Camera people, joking around with the makeup lady, fun. Heart attack. Died. Young man. Fucking young, before the vaccine. Young.

No, he took it. He was the first guy. He was such a sweetheart on the set. Such a nice guy. I had, that Cedric show was also, I had like an episode where it was like my episode, where it was like, I had like three sketches I wrote that was gonna be, you know, it was my big coming out.

And I literally came out, right? Now it's like, what's going on you guys? And shock and awe started. Remember the Iraq war? And it just was gone. And I told everybody like, that's my big show. And it just, that happened. And then the one, it just was over.

And I was back to, I never sold my car. I was back to my studio apartment. Couldn't you think that studio executives would be wise enough to go, look, we got Louis CK, we have Cedric the entertainer, we have a fucking show. Let's figure out a way to promote this correctly. And it was funny. It was just, and it's so hard to make a funny sketch show.

They try to plop people together. You need real synergy with the cast and the writers, have to figure out how people are funny. It takes like, that's where the first set of SNL cast, they already worked together. And that's why they were like gelled right away. I mean, one of the reasons. But all these sketch shows they put together,

and they'll say, don't pitch a sketch show, they never work. It's because they like pluck people who don't even do sketch, you know? It's like putting together a boy band. Exactly, yeah. You know, like you have to put together a fake band. Not a bunch of guys who grew up together in Seattle,

been playing in the basement. No. That works better though. Find some, yeah, that works better. If you put them, just put a bunch of hot dudes together. Get some good hair and let them milli-vanilli it up. Yeah. By the way, milli-vanilli. They got a bad deal.

Not to change topics, but. They got a bad rap. Like now they'd be fine. They'd be fine. No one cares if that's your voice. You're hot. I love your dreadlocks. Great, great look. Great bodies. Great that's your voice. You're hot. I love you dreadlocks great great great bodies

Great bodies around great cocks girl. I know it's true Yeah, that's it. Oh, I do like their music. I love you. No, you don't I do they got you time Remember there was the other one there was a song God It was like a big-time band and there was like this beautiful woman who was singing and turned out it wasn't really her singing there was some big

heavy lady who was actually singing oh always yeah it was like a big no if you know the big fact it was one of those fucking something factory was the band yes they didn't say there was a situation like that right wasn't there or some lady Jamie will find it there was something he knows everything Jamie hates me no he doesn't know who we talked about you earlier today nice things he's bipolar I know he's gonna hit by a golf ball yeah I saw this it's so cool I want that I was watching he's Got that really cool golf set back there. Oh, yeah, Jamie Jamie can golf his ass off

I have a buddy who got hit in the head with a golf ball. He said he was fucked up for six months Oh really I got a hit in the head with a line drive just donk I hit a kid He was alright though Luckily, I didn't get a good swing on He was all right though Luckily, I didn't get a good swing on Do you see those guys that like do those power swings? Yeah on on the internet like where they loop their arm around and fucking drive through and like yeah Yeah, man, you get a hit with one of those balls. Yeah. Yeah. It's like getting hit with like a fucking

Like a shotgun shooting a rubber bullet at you. Yeah. Yeah, they're really Yeah, if you get a nice skull worm burner, you could kill a duck if you just really see those videos I'll just Snapping no, but you ever see that one with a pitcher catches the bird in mid-flight. Yes Amazing crazy. It's like what are the odds that it would perfectly be there when it's a hundred mile an hour Who was that was that Randy? Yeah Randy Johnson he was big you know. It was like halfway to the thing Martha Wash most famous unknown singer of the 90 speaks how a voice behind its reigning man

Gonna make you sweat and strike it up went from being a bullied victim to an industry pioneer So what song was it the cnc music factory song? bullied victim to an industry pioneer. So which song was it the C&C Music Factory song? Uh, Gonna Make You Sweat, C&C Music Factory. She's cute, why didn't they give her a shot? I don't know, so. I didn't know what C&C Music Factory looks like. Were they good looking?

They probably were. Well that was the move back then. You get good looking people, they dance around. Now you just get AI to do it. Well this was the first time where they were experimenting really with images in a way where everything's visual. It's visual it's all video you know like MTV was so important it was so important I like the ugly years of musicians gonna make you sweat the same song as everybody dance oh yeah so that's it so it's some other lady in the video was

singing it but that lady was the real voice behind it. But she just didn't look like they wanted her to look. Uncredited vocals on the chorus. Which is just so crazy. Like, do you don't think, like look what's happening with like Lizzo. Do you think, you don't think that would have happened in 1994?

Of course it would have, if you just tried it. Everybody. That reminds me of college, I went to school for acting, which is the dumbest thing you can ever go to school for. What did you learn? Nothing. What'd you learn? Honestly, I learned to be a acting, which is the dumbest thing you can ever go to school for. By the way. Nothing. Honestly, I learned I'd be a worse actor. I really didn't believe that.

Yeah, because it was like Shakespeare and stuff, and like I'm terrible at that. All my teachers thought I was just terrible. And they did this one class. Athletes have to be very careful about how they treat their bodies, something everyone wants to do actually, right? So it's no surprise that they're very particular

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banned substances and trust me you don't want any of that stuff in your body and it really is as simple as one scoop once a day. I have it in the morning, it gives me confidence I need to take on the day, try AG1 for yourself, it's something that I've actually been consistent with and that's why I partnered with AG one for so long Try AG one and get a free welcome kit a free bottle of vitamin D 3k 2 & 5 free AG one travel packs with your first subscription at drink AG one Com Joe Rogan that's a $76 value gift for free. If you go to drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan, check it out. Literally, this was called movement for the actor. Now imagine like your parents,

my parents paid for college was so nice of them. I don't have any debt, but like what a waste of my parents' money. It was, this is an hour class, movement for the actors. So they'd put on music, like everybody at dance day was one of the things. And then on music, like everybody at Dance Note is one of the things. And then you're supposed to just creatively like do whatever.

So these are a bunch of weirdos. Are you gonna pay for that? Like $50,000. So I'm in the, and I'm in my head like, what the fuck is this? This doesn't make me a bad, so you're fake. And then this teacher was like, we're doing Shakespeare, he's like, bring in tights next week for the Shakespeare,

your performance. And I'm like, I'm not buying tights and coming in here with tights. Like why would I have to do that? Because back then, they dressed in their normal clothes. You know what I mean? When Shakespeare wrote the thing, they were just in their clothes.

It wasn't like getting tights to do Hamlet. So I just didn't get tights. And he comes in and he's like, where's your tights? He's like this very effeminate guy who hated me. And he goes, where are your tights, Kyle? And I was like, oh, I forgot my tights. And he's like, make sure you bring your tights next week. And I was like, okay.

So next week, no tights. And I go, oh, I forgot my tights. I was like, darn it. I wish I brought my tights. Is that how you said it? Yeah, I was like, oh. That's probably your best actor. Brought my tights, and I go, oh, I forgot my tights. I was like, darn it. I wish I brought my tights. I was like, oh, I wish I brought my tights. Yeah, I was really good at acting like I didn't, like I wanted to bring my tights.

So he goes, get mine, they're in the back. You know, there was like, so I, these green tights. Oh, that had been hugging his balls. Yeah, I had to like put them on, and I was, I look like Kermit the Frog, because my legs are like the size of a 12 year old Korean girl. And came out with my yeah disgusting Kermit the frog. Yeah, I look like Kermit. Yeah By the way, and I did tell him I said listen

Cuz I try to negotiate before I put his tights on him like but they didn't they just wore their clothes like back Then and he was like get the tights Like I want to see you in Brian Callan was always going to acting schools and he knew they were ridiculous. But I think Brian at one point in time was completely enamored with the idea with being in Hollywood. He had a bunch of famous actor friends

and he'd go to famous actor parties and he'd take acting classes. He's always working on his craft. I love that, working on my craft. By the way, that's such bullshitting. But he was bullshitting. He was bullshitting, but he was aware. He's always working on his craft. I love that working on my craft by the way He was bullshit. He was he was aware. He was fucking around like when he would say working on my craft He wasn't being serious. He was completely joking Yeah, he's very so he had this teacher that was I think it was a Scientology hustle too

It was one of those things or so there was a lot of that particularly in the 90s Oh, yeah teachers for Scientologists, butologists. But insert, by the way, then it's not the pick on Scientology, insert whatever religion. There was a lot of Scientology that was in Hollywood though. But what they would do is they would get people to join the acting class and they would try to recruit them into Scientology

because the teacher was a Scientologist. He would talk about how important it was. You never tried to be in Scientology? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How important it was for his craft. Meanwhile, they're never successful. The people that teaching the acting classes, they're always terrible.

They never go anywhere. Maybe they have a small part on one thing and then they're gonna tell you how to make it. But you can't even apply it to your own life. When I was a teacher, I didn't think I'd ever be here. Not to say that there's not good acting teachers out there. I'm sure there are. There's people that just love theater.

They love that kind of act. They have no desire to be famous. They love teachers out there. I'm sure there are. There's people that just like love theater. They love like that kind of act. They have no desire to be famous. They love the craft. They love the art of it. That's true too, right? But anyway, this guy, he was really into show tunes and he would do a big show at the end of the class or whatever, end of the quarter, whatever it was.

He had this big show at this local theater and Brian's like, you have to come and watch a guy with the tiniest feet you've ever seen in your life. He had these little, I couldn't take my eyes off his feet because he had loafers on and they were like that big. And this guy would sing like so passionately these show tunes from like musicals.

Like there's no context. You didn't see the musical. Like a medley. A medley of showtimes I love that sounds like a great show well you came there for you to see his feet That was like the way you know Brian which Brian was like fascinated by how small his feet were comes through Then I couldn't stop because we were high so I couldn't stop looking at that small that no they were tiny They were like that seems like a bad like they were little little tiny feet I had a date of this girl once and she was like I have a shoe show

I'm a shoe model, right? And I'm like, oh, a shoe show, okay. A shoe model? Yeah, foot. A foot model. Like she would model shoes. Okay, like open-toed shoes? I just would, like I didn't know,

but that's what she would say, she was going to do this. And she always had like dollar bills, she always had cash, you know? And then I found out years later, she was a stripper. Shoe show is when you have no clothes on. And I just thought she was like, oh, I said cash, you know? And I found out years later, she was a stripper. Shoe show is when you have no clothes on. And I just thought, she was a shoe. Oh, by the way, here's another. I thought it was going another direction.

I thought you guys were paying to jerk off to her feet. Maybe, she had great feet. But another stoop, this was even the dumber class and the moving around class was called Interpretation for the Actor. So this week, you would read a play like Streetcar Named Desire, and then you would come in

and you'd do your interpretation of it. So the weirder you were, the better grade you got, okay? So one guy comes in, he did Streetcar, and he put, there was a big mirror, because it was a whole dance room, and he took a lipstick and he wrote whore within lipstick. This is, if you know what street card name is, yeah. Then he pulled his pants down, started fucking the mirror,

and then he turned to us and he goes, fuck you. And he left and then everyone started clapping. And I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. Ah! Listen to what I, so I'm like, cause I got like a D on my, or whatever I did. So I'm like, I'm gonna be fucking weird. My next, I didn't read any of the things. I like, I have trouble reading. I don't know how to read. I just never learned. So I got, I got, I have a Glass Menagerie is my book.

Didn't read it, whatever. I just went in there, I got an egg, okay? And I had a, I took one of my mother's eggs and I put it in the fridge. And I was like, I'm gonna go get some eggs. I'm like, I'm gonna go get some eggs. So Glass Menagerie is my book, didn't read it, whatever. I just went in there, I got an egg, okay? And I took one of my mother's Waterford crystal glasses and a string and I took the string

and I was just like, nobody sails the seas if they don't find their way. Then I clipped the string and the glass fell and broke. Then I went outside, you could see it, and I buried an egg. It makes no fucking sense. And then the guy said, "'What grade do you think you should get?'

And I said, "'An A.'" And he gave me an A. That was my college work. He's brilliant. By the way, I'm working on my craft. By the way, are you really working? Like, when you were, Meryl Streep was an amazing actress when she was 20,

and she's amazing now. She never... Are you working four hours a day getting better at acting? No, you're not... You're not training at it. There's a little bit you can kind of learn, but you're done after a little bit. If you're not Daniel Day-Lewis already...

I fucking love that guy. Yeah, if you're not that guy already, you're probably never gonna be able to do that. Yeah, they talk like they're like working their piano skills all day and four days a year crap You know with the problem what we did was is we were like we Not not me at all, but When they were like, oh, let's make some more money. We'll have an award show and then we'll make money That's why there's the Oscars is there oh, yeah. But the actors thought, we're doing something really great.

The Oscars are like the Olympics for actors. Yeah, and it's, I mean, the Olympics, at least you're like, I don't know, doing something you can quantify, but like, a nine-year-old won an Oscar, like how, like, did not make it like a nine-year-old best surgeon. It's like, it's a thing you can do or kind of can't do. There's a little bit of learning, but certainly not movement for the actor or- It's not gonna be like a nine year old best surgeon. It's a thing you can do or kind of can't do. It's a little bit of learning,

but certainly not movement for the actor or. It's not brain surgery. No. It's not working on your craft. It's not even like. It's not painting. It's not even like when you crunch a ball you throw it into a basket like at work.

The skill is like. Well, it's one of the few careers where it's a benefit to be out of your fucking mind. Yeah, it's about personal, like I love, we love the person, like Jeff Goldblum, like love that guy, Christopher Walken. Jack Nicholson.

Amazing, like there's amazing actors. You like the people who party. Yeah. Crazy wild people. You know, the story behind it to be. Yeah. I miss Jack Nicholson. Oh yeah, he was the best.

That old Jack. He was the just. He was the just. He was the best. Did you ever see him flirt with Jennifer Lawrence? Did everybody see that video? No. How old was he at the time? A thousand?

He was 1000. Wait, Jamie, do you have that? I don't mean to run this show, but it's a good schooling on like, he's so cool. And this girl's way too young for him, but. on like he's so cool and this girl's way too young for him but um everyone no politics George? no? if you want to talk politics we can

it's such a beautiful town thank you yeah you're being really rude good to see you I love to know you oh my god thank you I loved it. Oh my god. Thank you. I loved all your movies.

Oh really? Do I look like a new girl girl? I thought about it. I thought about it. You think that... I thought about it. So it became flirtatious, but it was mostly just complimentary about her movie. What movie was that? He stayed cool and he's just, he makes that eye contact and then...

It's like you need crazy people to make great movies. She was flirting actually probably with him. She flirted with him. Yeah. You need crazy people to make good movies. You need it. You need a guy who's gonna pretend he's Lincoln for four months.

Yeah, there will be blood I just saw. Oh my God, phenomenal. What's that? Silver Linings Playbook. I drink it up. What was it? Silver Linings Playbook, I think her and Bradley Cooper. Oh my god phenomenal. What's that? Silver linings playbook I think her and Bradley Cooper. I didn't see that one. I drink your milkshake Oh my god, it was so good. He was so good. He was such a great psychopath It's like if I read that movie, I think I'd be like this is boring There will be blood is just right. I'll drink your milkshake. What at the end?

He's talking that guy was religious who's that? Can I have some of your I've and he's like no, there's no more oil under you He's like I drank it up. I and he just made the analogy of a straw like drank up his thing and then he beats him with a Bowling pin he's like I'm finished One of the best endings to a movie. Yeah, it was a fucked up movie That's a different thing, you know that kind of acting Listen listen, I paid $10,000 cash in hand He has his own company now prosperous little business three wells producing $5,000 a week.

Why is this dude crying already? Stop crying, you sniffling ass. He needs money, he got broke. Stop your nonsense. And he's coming back to beg him. You're just the afterbirth, Eli. No. Slithered out on your mother's filth.

No. They should have put you in a glass jar, in a mantelpiece. Where were you when Paul was suckling at his mother's teeth? Where were you? Who was nursing you, poor Eli, one of Bandy's sons? That land has been had. Nothing you can do about it.

It's gone. It's had. If you would just take this lease, Daniel. Train it! Nothing you can do about this God tap you would just take this please Cut to the bar we kills him if you have a milkshake Is it in there no they cut it. I have a straw there it is. That's a straw you see. Watch it. My straw reaches across the room and starts to drink your milkshake.

I drink your milkshake. I drink it up. Don't bully me, Daniel. So good. Choices, they say in school. It's the choices you make in your performance. Yeah, it's also you gotta be out of your fucking mind. You gotta be able to become that guy.

I know, but then... Most people can't't do that most people can't lie that good Yeah, I mean he becomes those people where becomes but to live with that guy would be probably a nightmare during that movie Oh would be a nightmare. Yeah, imagine that guy's your roommate Who ate my cheese? My Cheerios, I ate them all day long. He's a murderous psychopath and what if he slips into character too much I feel lights your house on fire just to stay in character at least he does back it up Jimmy like he hasn't done anything too crazy Well, there's a lot of people to do that like they they play a brawler and they start fights with people on the streets

You know like people get crazy with with film roles thing with who they become. Yeah, who was that guy? But that's how you got great moves that guy Christian Bale Sending people stuff. I think what's that? Jared Leto is doing weird shit. Oh, yeah I don't like when they go too far with it like rumors to but Yeah, the Batman guy remember that whole thing where he was Screaming at the guy forgetting in the way of his lighting or something No, those guy was moving around, the background was distracting. And he's like, can't you have fucking professional? Remember that?

Yeah. Because he was in like some heavy scene. Yeah, but he was... That does happen, man, where people don't pay attention and they're on their phone and they're fucking off in the background. I know, but that... And they're right in the eyeline. The thing that I found interesting about that was his accent didn't,

because he kept an American accent when he was screaming. Interesting. I found that quite interesting, yes indeed, yes. That guy's another fucking amazing actor. Another amazing actor. Was that psycho movie, American Psycho, so good. Insane, but the craziest thing he ever did was when he almost died.

Making that Machinist movie, got down to like 120 pounds. Oh, I'm late a guy. He played a guy with an arc. It's a terrible movie not terrible It's not very good. But I mean To have a guy who's like a leading man and almost died for a movie that no one saw ask yourself this who has Access to your medical history in theory, it's just you and your doctor. But in reality, hundreds of shady companies called data brokers are keeping tabs on every symptom you Google, every treatment you research, and every pre-existing condition they think you might have. That's valuable intel for advertisers and insurance companies who'll take any excuse

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I almost got, I got a movie was like the only, it was right in between, it was Walking Phoenix's movie, it was so bad, the only movie I ever got. And it was between the Joker and the next, it was like set up to be this big movie, it was Gus Van Zant movie. And I, to get the, I was a doctor, I had to say all these crazy things,

technical about the spine and the, and I knew if I could just get through this audition and just say this, I'll get this part, I'll be in the top 10% because everyone's gonna fuck up this and be staring at a piece of paper. So I did the whole script, I had like I tap here say this I had a whole thing Oh that made me memorize it and I went and I went and I got it I go to do the thing no one talks to me the guy the wardrobe guy goes what outfit you want

He showed me a couple I was like this one. I'm choosing the outfit of this doctor I was like, this one? I'm choosing the outfit of this doctor? I was like, okay. And then never saw Gus Van Zandt. And then I get there and they go, just when they say action, go in there and then do your scene. There was no blocking or anything. And I'm like, okay. And I've never done a movie before.

And I'm like, this is how, I don't think this is how you do it. So they're like, they go, go. So I go in there and I'm like his see you a qualm and something when I did this whole thing and Gus van Zandt comes up after me he goes have we met before I auditioned like three times for him and I got the part and I'm like yeah and he goes you're talking over Joaquin and I go up don't talk over Joaquin I couldn't hear Joaquin Phoenix And I go, Oh, don't talk over Joaquin. I couldn't hear Joaquin Phoenix at all because he was just like, doing his lines like that, you know? And I wouldn't think

as the doctor talking to like assistants that I would stop talking in the middle of my sentence as well. He's talking because he was talking to himself. But it was the weirdest thing. Terrible movie. Was he playing an insane person? He was cripple. He was, is that PC? Did we say that? Cripple? Yeah, you're on to say that.

He couldn't move his legs. He was the guy, he was the cartoonist, I'm blanking on the name of the movie, but he was a cartoonist and it was just like biopic. And it was a very weird experience. But the movie, anyway, my point is, is terrible. It's a terrible movie, but you thought it was gonna be a banger.

This was your shock. Well, no, because at this point in my career, like the shock and all, like these things happen to you over and over again where I'm just like kinda laughing, and it's like, okay. I remember I was, yeah, there's been a bunch of situations where like,

get ready for the rocket ship, Kyle Kyle because things are about to take off And I'm always like okay. Oh, yeah, yeah the old rocket ship. Isn't that funny? Like everybody wants to it's just the weird anxiety of not knowing if it's gonna work out for you It's such a terrible place to be Like that's where the real making it is the real making it is just not worrying about that anymore The real making it is just like I can make anymore. The real making it is just like, ah, I can make a living. That's the real.

That's a big hump, yeah. That's the hump. That's the hump. No, I'm still at anxiety. Like whenever I tell young comics that are just starting to headline now, and they've got some viral clips, I'm like, dude, listen to me.

You have already made it. Like you're a professional now. This is the hump. Everything now is just stick to the grind. Stick to the a professional now. This is the hump. Everything now is just stick to the grind. It's gravy from here on out. You should be so happy. You're talented and you're successful.

It's actually happening. People are paying to come see you. I'm like, you got this. From here, because everyone's like, man, what if they stop coming? What if they... Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Don't give in to that. You should have fun. Have fun.

They want you to have fun, come on. They like you now. Yeah, so unless your job is to have fun. Your job is to have fun. I wish they told, someone told me, because I really did not get this advice for a long, long time. There's some people that are super successful

still don't do that. There's guys out there that are super successful that are paying attention to the ticket sales of other super successful guys and comparing themselves. Oh yeah, that's not a good place to be. I'm talking about like, arena acts that do that. Oh, really?

Oh, yeah. That's mental illness. People get kooky. They get kooky with like, numbers and their position in the ladder, and am I making it? Is it happening? What does their name rhyme with? I'm not telling you. Jamie knows I could tell by the smile.

I like them, too. I like a lot of people that think ridiculous things, but it's just, it's a trap that, you know, the struggle that led you to become successful at something in the first place, that becomes like your mentality once you're in a different stage of it. And you have to adjust. It's hard to change. You gotta be able to adjust. It's almost like changing your personality to change that habit.

I mean, it's really difficult. Well, everybody adjusts a little bit, right? Because you first get into it because you want attention. Like you first get into it because you think, maybe I could be a comedian. That'd be cool. I'd be on stage. I'd get attention. And then after that, you don't need that. That's not what you really want anymore.

Like then it becomes like, I just want it to get better. I just want, I'm working on this thing. I just want it to work. I want it to pop on stage. I want to figure out the right beats. I want to figure out just want it to get better. I just want, I'm working on this thing. I just want it to work. I want it to pop on stage. I want to figure out the right beats. I want to figure out the right way to say it. Then it becomes that. And once it becomes that, that's the happy spot.

That's where you're happy. When you can just create stuff, you just, you know, like put it together. I wish someone told me that, cause I had a viral, some viral YouTube videos, like way back. And I did, I was still on sitcom, I kinda got a sitcom mentality,

where if someone was just like, dude, focus on your YouTube, and get your audience go directly to your audience. But back then no one knew. No one had any idea. Like, just think about this podcast was started in 2009, and in 2009, everybody thought it was a pathetic

waste of time. Yeah, I remember. Like friends would come over to do my podcast and be like, what are you doing? Like why are you doing this? It's like it's such a waste of time. We're on a fucking webcam. But nobody saw that comment. So I would have never given you that advice back then.

Did you just do it because it was enjoyable? You weren't like thinking like this is the way. I always wanted a radio show, but no one would ever give me a radio show. So when I would do radio shows, like if I would sit in on Opie and Anthony and be like, this is so fun, I'd love to do something like this but no one's going to give me one of these fucking things. That's how I thought about it. And so when I saw Anthony Kumia started doing this thing live from the compound, he would do it in his basement where he played karaoke with a machine gun. He's out of his mind, he's drunk. He would do it in his basement, where he played karaoke with a machine gun.

He used to have his mind, he's drunk. He's got like full beer kegs on tap there. He's drinking Guinness and he's fucking doing karaoke where he's holding a machine gun. It was most ridiculous shit. But he had a full professional studio, where he had green screen, he had like pro microphones, just in his basement for funsies.

He just did it for fun. And I was like, that's what I wanna do. I'll do something like that for fun. And then of course, Tom Green, like you go to Tom, Tom Green, did that internet show in his living room. And I remember looking around and going, you just gotta figure out how to make money with this.

Like this is, this is a job. Like this can. That's nice you knew you wanted to do that. Well, it just seemed like fun. That's the whole, like I always loved the opportunity to talk to interesting people or funny people or you know, I'm a questioner. I like to ask questions. Like how do you how did you know that? Why'd you do that? You found the right thing? Yeah, I just got I just like the opportunity to talk to cool people seems like what a great thing that would be because it's always fun to talk to cool people like you look like If I was ever on those shows and I like ran into someone was interesting I was like, how'd you start this like what do you? Yeah, you having a lot of interest help. Oh fucking for sure Yeah, you get but back then I would have told you to get a sitcom because there was none

No money on YouTube everybody still wanted a sitcom back then the The other one guy who didn't, and I was like, he's lying, Zach Galifianakis was like, I don't wanna do a sitcom, and in my head I'm like, oh, he's lying, but he actually had like a very, he had his head together. Yeah, he's not lying about nothing. I mean, that guy, he's the least attention whorey of any famous person.

He never got caught up. Famous funny person ever. Not at all. Doesn't he live like on a farm? Yeah, he does person ever. Not at all. Doesn't he live on a farm? Yeah, he does. He has a tractor. Yeah, very interesting guy. Very smart guy.

Very smart. He was good friends with Brody. And he was one of the first people to alert me when Brody was off the meds. Like there was a time when Brody was off his meds. Do you remember that? Mm-hmm. People that don't know, we'll talk about our late great friend Brody

Stevens, who was like that. So funny. He was so funny. Brody Stevens is like one of the best examples of like it's not what's written on paper. Yeah you wouldn't yeah right. If you got his act on paper you're like this is not gonna work. Right. You'd be like this is nonsense. This doesn't make any sense at all. Meanwhile everyone's lining up in the back of the room to see him say it. So yeah I think it's like that Andy Kaufman of our like little time period there where he was any coffin Was a brilliant actor and a brilliant comedic actor who's great on taxi But he I don't think he ever killed on stage like Brody did Brody was

One time we were in the oh, yeah Different type of comedy, but it was like, you know, a different, when he was on stage, like people, the comedians watched. Yes, it was a different thing. He's doing his own thing. He's doing this Brody Stevens thing. One time we were at the improv and it's really late. Like I'd gone up, a lot of people had gone up,

the crowd was kind of tired, half the people there, and they announced that Brody's there, and Brody's worried that people are gonna get up. So Brody takes his shirt off and he starts swinging around in the air over his head and walking to the crowd. Let's go! Positive energy!

And he gets on stage and he pulls drumsticks out of his back pocket, starts beating the chairs, and then he starts talking shit. And he just changed the energy of the whole room. Changed the energy of the whole room. And I don't think there's anybody, like since him I can't think of somebody who's like, replaced, someone will replace that, but yeah.

They're gonna do it in their own way. You gotta go like, you have Brody's on stage, you have to go watch. Yeah, and part of the fun. Holtzman's like that now. Holtzman, oh I don't know him. Brian Holtzman? You don't know Brian Holtzman?

No. Oh my God, dude. I stay in my house a lot. Oh my God. You let him stay at your house and you don't even know? No, I say I stay at my house. You've never saw Holtzman at the Comedy Store your house? You don't even know? No, I say I stay at my house. Oh. You've never saw a Holtzman at the comedy store? No.

That's crazy. You know what? I might have and just didn't know his name. Well, he would always come late at night. And unfortunately, you know, there would be like 15 people left in the crowd and Holtzman would go on these wild rants. He's like one of the funniest guys of all time.

He's so, he's like a complete total comics comic. Oh yeah, I don't know him well. Holtzman's at our club now all the time. He's like a complete total comics comic. Oh yeah, I don't know him well. Holtzman's at our club now all the time, all the time. But now he has a crowd. Now people know about him. So they come to see him. You cannot go there. If anything, if you can't tolerate literally everything, don't go.

Is he very dirty? It's not dirty. It's just he's out of his fucking mind. And it's kind of in character, but you're not really sure. I like that. Like Mitzi Shor wouldn't let him on stage for two weeks after 9-11. She wouldn't let him up.

He can't go up. He's like, Mitzi, I don't understand. I'm not gonna cross any lines. He was like, couldn't wait to cross lines. Do you remember when Susan Smith, that lady drowned her kids? He goes, the day, the day he's on stage. Ladies and gentlemen, I heard those were bad kids.

I heard they sat that close to the TV. They didn't put away their blocks. They always spilt their fucking milk. Those kids are not gonna be missed. And you're like, what? What did the audience do when they were at the IM? Hollywood, Comedy Store, Sunset, Tuesday night or whatever it was, 1 a.m.

They went nuts, everybody went nuts. But that was Holtzman. Holtzman got these late spots. So he would say the wildest, most insane shit but also have a really good point half the time. Like it was comedy wrapped up in a point and then every now and then he'd let you in on it, like that it was just fucking around

and go right back to it. Yeah, yeah. And you know, it's a little dance he's doing with the crowd and you gotta know what the dance is. But if you know what the dance is, like comics love him. Like whenever he's on stage, we sit in the balcony and watch Holtzman at the mothership. Sounds like that other guy who's older

and playing in his name. Don Baris? Nope. Uh, he's like, what are you people doing here at this tower? Oh, Louis Black? No. Jesus, who are you talking about? He's at the store. Eddie Pepitone? I'm having Eddie Pepitone.

Eddie Pepitone. I love that guy. Oh yeah, he's great too. Very similar in a lot of ways like just insane energy and and has a point But it's also saying completely wacky. Yeah, it's I love like these Like how long a guy can be? Yeah, he is I think he started late. I think Eddie started. Oh, do I think so? I would at least I wasn't aware of him until later It's good. We have long career like imagine, I was thinking about sports guys, you know, like you're a baseball player and that's your identity

and then you're 30 and you're like. It's over. Yeah, you can go to maybe 40. Like look, Tom Brady, still playing football. Who was he like 42 when he retired? Still that's, it's young-ish to have. Young as fuck if you're a comic. If your identity is I'm a sports player,

I'm like a sports player This revealed how what a good big sports guy sports player, you know Are you a you're a sports player an athlete makes a ton of money for a very short amount of time? That's why they all go broke or not all of them, but a large amount of them go bankrupt It's also just like you think about your identity when you're a kid and you probably get all that, you know, identity as an athletic person, then you become like a professional. And must be difficult to just,

you have to really never hook into that. Like that's my identity. It's also like if you're a really hot woman, I think it's hard when, you know, you gotta like not have that be your identity. Can't be your whole thing, because one day it's gonna go away. But if you're an athlete,

it goes away even quicker than being a hot lady. Like there's hot ladies that are in their 50s. They're still hot, they maintain their looks. Hot ladies in the 50s. They work out, they take care of their skin, but there's no like super athletes that are in their 50s. Like they don't exist. What about?

Not at a professional level. Hold on, let me think. Go ahead, it's not possible. I know athletes, give me a second here. There's one guy, there's one guy I can tell you that did it into his 50s, Bernard Hopkins. He played golf? No, he was a boxer, a world champion boxer.

Oh, a boxer in their 50s was good? Multiple division world champion boxer, was beating world champions at 50 years old. Did Tyson, was he full ongoing, full on? I don't know, I'm not Mike Tyson. You don't know? But I would say by the tone of my voice, you can sense a little bit of skepticism.

Yeah. Anybody who's a combat sports athlete looked at that and said, you know, I'm happy Mike Tyson made money. It seemed like he held back a little bit, but. Maybe there was an agreement, I wasn't there. That would be a lame Jamie house. I'm not one for wild speculation. No you're not. No you don't get involved in anything until he was 69 years old in 276 days

Who's that extra game Gordie how already how great great soccer hockey hockey he was 69 Yeah, I mean he wasn't he wasn't in the NHL at that point, but he played a professional hockey game at that age Yeah, that's insane. Hey Joe. Can I have a cigar? I wanna look manly. I need something to look manly. Let me get some freshies out of the humidor. You look very manly. I mean, I thank you, but sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like, that guy looks a little.

Kelly Slater, also pro surfer, still rolling. I'm gonna look ridiculous. Kelly's a great example. He's another example of someone who just takes care of themselves. But Bernard Hopkins was a, what was like Bernard Hopkins world championship fight that he had when he was in his 50s?

List on Wikipedia gives you Albert Hughes as the oldest pro boxer at 70 years old. Oh my God. That seems where's he out of? What year I know Archie Moore who was a famous boxer before the Muhammad Ali days like Archie Moore was That's like way back in the What oh that's just sad The guy's fighting does not look like he's trying to hit him. He wins the old guy wins

What if the video headlines this this looks like? Win over ha ha that kid needed money Yeah, this this kids not punching bag at all. He's just covering up this looks super sus if I was that Oh, and just goes down. Yeah files the athletic commission I have a talk with those fellows White Tyson yeah 36 years after his last fight Well, I do know that people have been offered fights that are fake fights like they've been you do know that for a fact 100% I know people have been offered fights where they said you you will win the fight. That's I don't like that at all

I know there's celebrity boxing matches and celebrity fights that are like that where they make a deal Would you ever do a legit fight at some point? No, did your chickens bring chicken? No, you shouldn't do that kind of stuff as you get older. I don't think I don't think your body's as resilient Even if you stay fit and in shape, you don't want head trauma in your 50s. I know I've hit my head so many times in my life I'm a little worried about that. So Hopkins broke his own record by winning the IBF light heavyweight title from Tavares Cloud in 2013 and again in 2014 we won the WBA super title from Beibut Shumanov at ages 48 and 49. That's fucking crazy. So he

wins two titles, a title at age 48 and a title at age 49. Incredible. Are those rigged? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, the way that he would box was super intelligent. Like he was very defensively minded. You didn't get clean shots off on Bernard Hopkins. He was very clever and he understood boxing like at a very, very like deep level. His footwork was always on point, never drank, never smoked, always took care of his body, ate only organic food, worked out every day,

never got out of shape just all discipline And so he was able to maintain his body. Did you ever have that guy Brian? What the fuck it's not working piece of shit these things die Have you had that guy I'm gonna look ridiculous doing no you look like you look like a man. I think more of you now. Thanks, man. Joe said I look like a man. Wouldn't that be funny if that's all it takes? I didn't even like it. No, I did not.

Until I started you suckin'. Come on, bitch. I think I have to fill it. Yeah, I only got a corner. Have you had that guy on who's trying to live forever the vampire? No, I haven't. I'm really fascinated with that guy I like what he's doing. He's trying kind of interesting, but he's doing a bunch of stuff that I would say

Most experts believe is not the way to go. One of them is avoiding sunlight like oh, yeah Yeah, you're supposed to get sunlight like sunlight is important for your body. It's the best way your body produces vitamin D It's great for your endorphins, sunlight is good for you. This idea that you should be shielded from the sun because you're going to prevent skin cancer, it's probably, I've talked to a dermatologist about this and they were explaining that if you don't have resilience from the sun, if you're not like used to going out in the sun and then you go out all in one burst and get sunburned He's like yes sunburn is not good

Yeah, he goes you're damaging your skin what you should do is get accustomed to being in the Sun So you don't get fucking sunburned and then be out in the Sun don't get cooked Don't spend the whole day out in the Sun and get cooked But like an asshole the Sun is actually good for you. It's healthy for your body. Yes That's just one thing. The other thing is the vegan thing. I get it if it's for ethical concern. You've got this idea in your mind

that animal life is more important than plant life, and you don't want to contribute to animal death. OK, I understand that perspective. But not from a health perspective. From a health perspective, all the studies that show that meat causes this, it's all been debunked. And not only that, most of them are these epidemiology studies where they ask people,

how often do you eat meat? Is it two times a week, three times a week, four times a week? And the more people that ate meat, the more people you see diseases, the more people you see problems, all more people you see problems, all these health consequences. And so they go, oh, meat correlates to these health consequences. What you don't ask them is, how did you eat the meat?

Is it a Jack in the Box burger with a fucking giant Coca-Cola? Did you have fries that were cooked in seed oil? Did you eat cake with it? What did you do? Do you smoke cigarettes? How often do you drink? Do you drink every night? Okay. Like people that are more health conscious, especially if they haven't like read into it enough, where they really understand

what's nutrient dense and what causes problems with your health and what are the real issues with high sugar diets. Those people, they hear meat is bad, so they say, you know what, I'm just going to eat vegetarian. It seems like it's healthier. I'm just going to eat lentils. They're good for you. They don't cause cancer. I read about the China diet. And so you start believing that. But that's not really true. And people have eaten meat since literally the beginning of time, and 95% of the planet eats meat. There's a bunch of things that likely contribute to all sorts of metabolic diseases that people have.

I don't think regular meat is one of them. I don't think a grass-fed steak and a fucking salad is going to kill you. I think the real issue is buns and fries and soda and chips and cookies. And the people that don't avoid eating meat, if they're not well read about it, they're doing it because they don't give a fuck. I'm going to eat a burger because I want to eat a burger. You know, so you get a lot of that. So in the people that avoid meat, you get like a healthy user bias.

Because these are people that even if it's not correct, I know people that truly believe that you can become a better athlete on a vegan diet. I'm like, okay, but there's no pros who have ever done that. No pros have ever gone vegan and been, especially at an explosive sport. There's only like a few people out there. Like there's a guy named Martin Bacolet. Do you know who he is?

Of course, Martin Bacolet from the Cincinnati Red Dogs. No, you're making it up Martin Bacolay is One of the best heavyweight boxers in the world. He's just fucking enormous guy I think he's I don't remember what part of Africa he's from He might be Congolese He's a monster and he's a vegetarian Vegetarian fucking people up up it's kind of crazy yeah like one of the best heavyweight boxers a lot of huge guy and he's a

vegetarian it's an aberration though I'm vegetarian you can still eat eggs eggs are probably as good as anything if you want to eat like one protein and you know simple easy to digest has everything eggs are pretty fucking solid like every day I actually tried to not eat me for a while a few years ago, and I you need like a Nutritionist with you to really make sure you cover that yeah, you gotta get All your vitamins correctly, and then you got to make sure you're you're not taking too many vitamins And which ones are water soluble which ones are fat soluble? I just caught myself in the camera here I

look ridiculous smoking this thing I look like a man I get to that thanks Joe like you more this way great hide those things from people you shouldn't be able to look at yourself it's bad for you I love it I love that oh Joe just turn the camera it's just like reading the comments. Don't do it. By the way, you know these young kids, let me go lecture. Yeah, I was, at one point where- What about John Lerichette? You ever gonna get to that?

We'll get to it. Let's not rush that story. Let the podcast breathe for a second. And then we'll, so these young kids now, I noticed this, women will do this, they'll be like, people say, I light up the room. When was the woman told me this? Who ever says, people say, I light up the room,

that actually lights up the room. That's what it sounds like, people say I'm funny. But I've noticed like the young people, they tell you compliments they got. And I'm like, why is this? Cause for our area, you never say like, I'm great. People think you never would say that. But now this is my theory.

I don't know if this is true. They've grown up on Facebook where people say, you look so pretty. And then everyone sees the compliment. And now when they go out in the world and they get a compliment, then they're like, oh, I let people know my compliment. Everyone sees the compliments.

That's probably exactly what it is. That's my theory. That's a very good theory I think that's right on about it. You should make sure you do the audio yourself. No merch. Yeah, I'm in definitely You know any merch? No, you should have Caitlyn Jenna merch. Yeah, baby Yeah, baby Some duct tape. That was when I knew Comedy Central was doomed. You and I were talking. I sent you what they cut Yeah, we were having a conversation You showed it to me in the Comedy Store green room,

in the green room in the main room. You were telling me the struggle you're going through. It was so stressful, that whole thing. Well, you had this show that you were doing on your own that was amazing. And it's one of those things like South Park, right? Where South Park really works because they can do outrageous shit

because you know it's not real. Because they don't even look remotely human. Yeah, your brain knows. When you were doing the face swaps with cell phone technology, you know, like what everybody can use, it was obvious. So something funny about it being clearly not Bill Maher. It was clearly Kyle Dunnigan. It wasn't Kim Kardashian. It was Kyle Dunnigan. It was, you know, you would it was the way you were doing it was Super obvious. Then the Comedy Central thing came along like this Like you get a beard. Oh, man, that looks ridiculous.

I didn't mean to have a beard. It started from the big eight Different one this one's terrible listen no one's buying my book So yeah, I thought I would read a lecture to wet your whistle All right, we can turn this off If you want to wear a little baby, you want to put on a good one put the good one where she What happened to her vagina? I forget what it was. Yeah.

But they were all talking about something happened and she's, she shoved a baby in her pussy. Yeah, that sounds like a bit I did. You know what? Oh, it was awful, girls. For a minute there, I thought I was going to suffer the same fate as my nut sack. Oh, geez. Yeah, baby.

I want to apologize to the transmission. Did you save all your clothes? Yeah. Did you save all of your clothes? Yeah. Yeah. The first thing I did when I saw the flames was grab my Fendi clutch and my Alexander McQueen stiletto pumps.

Yeah. And mine. Yeah. Then I ran back into the flames to get my Louis Vuitton alligator duffel, a bag so beautiful it demands attention. Yeah. My size 17 Jimmy Choo's and my dog checkers. to get my Louis Vuitton alligator duffel, a bag so beautiful it demands attention. My size 17 Jimmy Chooz and my dog Checkers. But there was only enough time to save two of those things girls. Oh no. The thick Sophie's choice was that. What did you choose? This is what I do with my time? Checkers is fucking dead.

Man, Checkers is dead. Yeah baby baby. Yeah, baby. Oh, baby. That's what I'm doing with my time. That's an old one. That's an oldie. But the fact that that's obvious made it better. When they did it on Comedy Central, they used higher level technology, and it was kind of weird.

It's creepy. It has that, what is that? Uncanny Valley. Uncanny Valley. Uncanny Valley. Yeah, your brain needs to know it's a joke Like obvious like that's obvious joke like no one's gonna look at that. What did Caitlyn Jenner say? Like that's part of the fun of it is it doesn't look real. Yeah, it's completely ridiculous

I didn't mean to have a beard that was just I was being like I was like trying to joke By the way, I never did it. I did impressions when I was younger and I was like in middle school, I would do them. And then I never, I started doing like a manager was like, don't do impressions. And then that face app came along and I looked nothing like Trump. Though the first one I was doing was Trump.

Cause I did Trump like years ago. And I was like, oh, oh I can do Trump because my face like is the opposite of Trump stormy Stormy stormy, it's funny. I have the worst Trump like I did the Trump first, and it's the worst one now everyone does a better It was a ridiculous character though, but it's like that's how I knew Comedy Central was doomed I'm like if you guys are fucking this up like this show He's giving to get you on a silver platter. Just get out of the way All you have to do is get out of the way you were working with Metzger, right? Yeah, we got not at that moment Yeah, eventually. Yeah, eventually like all you have to do is get out of the way Just get out of the way put a point of camera it, let him, tell him you're supportin' him.

Yeah, eventually there was a show, yeah, I was doing like full on, because that was like, I was just kinda doing little videos, and then it became like, I was crafting, you know, we would do, you were in one of them, Time Canceler, like we had like crafted episodes where- What are we doing that one?

You played Becky the nurse. Like, what is Time Canceler? Just to show Joe, I don't think you remember those. What are we doing that one? You played Becky the nurse. What is time cancel? Just to show Joe, I don't think you remember those. You probably don't remember, but time canceler was like a full episode where no one ever was like, hey, we can make this. And it wasn't dirty and it was like, got a lot of views. And Hollywood never was,

they were always like, no, thank you. Yeah, they couldn't figure out. It is weird, it is weird. Well it's just, it's this weird marriage of comedy, creative people, and then business people, executives. That's the weird marriage. And they, because they've had a few hit shows before, or you know, we're producing South Park, we're,

but you don't make it, you can't make it yourself. Like so you have this idea in your head that you're a part of the process of, and you could choose, you've got an eye for creativity. Oh, that's right. Ha ha ha ha ha. Nurse Becky. You are really good in that.

Thank you. Do you come up to that on stage? To Nurse Becky. Joe Rog really good in that. Thank you. Do you come up to that on stage? To Nurse Becky. Joe Rogan from the Time Chancellor? Well, a lot of people like to bring it up at the airport. Yeah. Comes up there a lot. Do you get any, like, I don't wanna be seen,

you just like people coming up to you, how do you feel about that? Most people are nice. It's just people being nice. Most people. That's good to hear. There's a vast majority of people that just wanna say hi. They like what you do, and it are nice. It's just people being nice. Most people. There's a vast majority of people that just wanna say hi. They like what you do and it's nice. You know, because of you,

a lot of dudes come into my show, which is great. Was it mostly girls before? It was mostly nobody. It was mostly neither people are coming to my shows. But now it's great. People are coming to my shows. But now it's great, people are coming to my shows, but it is like a sea of dudes. Like no, I did a tour and I started to count,

like are any girls coming to my show? And the only ones would come would be like, my boyfriend likes you, it's just something like that. And yeah, I saw thousands of people I didn't see. There was never like three girls came to see me or somebody, might be like one autistic girl. Pfft. Pfft.

No ladies. Who likes to hear you say, yeah baby. Yeah baby, yeah. Wait till this Netflix episode of Kill Tony comes out. Oh my God, the wildest show. That show is like a fever dream. Wow. That show was so fun. Nothing else is gonna be on Netflix like that.

Yeah. It was so fun. We can't give anything away because it doesn't come out until Monday. So we don't wanna give anything away. Oh. But holy shit, was it funny? I love Tony's like, I like when comedians do well cause it's so much pressure. Can you imagine the pressure of these comedians?

Oh, God. It's like could change their, and there's nothing, even when you're young, you don't even know how to make it in show business. And there's just like one show, they can, this was a direct link. So it's like must be switched. But it also works.

Like there's guys that have gone from that show that have real careers now. Guys like Cam Patterson, William Montgomery, these guys are going on the road. They're selling out all over the place. Oh yeah, people love them. David Lucas, I mean, it's kind of incredible. The fan base is rabid.

Yeah, he's made a lot of like careers. They're selling out arenas this weekend in Nashville. I know, they have like the comedy baton right now. The funny thing is when someone doesn't do well and it's like dead silent, just makes me laugh, and Tony will go, holy shit. Tony's the worst It's like holy shit. He's so good at roasting. Oh my god. He's the best. There's no one close

He's the best roaster ever yeah, he's I mean on that Tom Brady roast. He was a fucking savage Holy shit yeah That Tom Brady roast was so important to comedy because it was the most watched thing ever in Netflix And it was the most unwoke thing that's ever been on television. Yeah, so it was like it broke the damn and Nikki Glaser was really funny Yeah, very funny funny. Jeff Ross was great on it. Schultz killed on it. It was great Schultz Having something like that was a big moment, you know, like something that's just just funny like fuck all these stupid rules We're talking shit. This is just talking shit. Everybody loves it. I think it seems like let it go is done It seems like everything well, it's not done with some people. They're triple masking right now as they're listening

I can't believe they're not listening. They got a tie-dye mask on the outside. They're kicking a Tesla on their way to the garage I know a comedian who still goes on stage with a mask and has it the whole time and comes in the whole time. I won't say. Puts it on when he's talking into the microphone. Comes in, maybe he takes it off. No, yeah, then he takes it off for the thing. People were doing comedy through masks.

That is very funny. That's one of the dumbest fucking things of all time. You know what, maybe he has like an immune disease. I don't know, maybe there's a reason. It doesn't, stay home. It doesn't matter. It's not helping you. You're breathing into this fucking cloth

that's an inch from your face and bacteria's gonna accumulate there and moisture and it's probably gonna be worse for you. Don't you hate it when you're like, you're doing standup and like, you accidentally like mouth it, like that all- And think all the people. There's been 15 be worse for you Don't you hate it when you're like you're doing stand-up and like a accidentally like a mouth it like that I think all the people has been 15 comedians before you and comedians are disgusting. Let's be honest. We're all disgusting group of people and

And you're just like okay, you know, just wait for this disease Wait for what? Yeah, if someone's got a cold we all have a cold. That's one thing Yeah, I'm like a phone with somebody else the flu. I know a girl who brings her own microphone sort of God the stand Really? Yeah, doesn't Eliza do that too? I don't know. How's she doing? Haven't her I think she just released a special You ever see her movie that's like weird cuz it's like some of its funny then all of a sudden It's serious and you're like, no it goes back and forth from Mixed genres they call it. You know what she's on that I love right? Just wait it's serious and you're like, I think it goes back and forth from mixed genres, they call it.

You know what she's on that I love? Righteous gemstones. Wait, the righteous gemstones? Yeah. You know what else? Edie Patterson, I love her. I was in the groundlings with her. We would do sketches.

Edie is like the daughter or something. She's so funny. She's just weird and funny. It's a weird show. It's a funny show, man. Like, I can't believe nobody told me to watch it. Maybe they did another. There's too many shows.

I have a thing where I'm like, can you just not tell me another good show? Too many shows. Not caught up. The Baldwin's, you watching that? No, was that a sitcom? It's a reality show, but Alec Baldwin is a terrible wife.

Why would she be? She's an awful, cause I watch what women watch. That's what I enjoy. Does she fake the accent? I'll watch it if she f what women watch. That's what I enjoy. Does she fake the accent? I'll watch it if she fakes the accent. Yeah, she fakes, she's a- Does she?

She is, and I- She pretends she doesn't understand the words? Yeah. The, what is, how do you say it in English? How do you say cucumber? Cucumber? Cucumber? And he goes along with it.

But he, do you have that, her shushing him at like a red carpet? I saw it. Isn't it just awful? Yeah, I'm talking. You're not talking when I'm talking. I'm talking, you're not talking when I'm talking. Alex Baldwin can get like a really sweet, beautiful woman.

He's Alex Baldwin, what happened? He would yell, they would run away. He would yell? He would yell at them, they'd run away. Who knows, who knows what these two are like? They both look like they're out of their fucking minds And I'm sure it's edited, but he comes off way better than her. Maybe he's doing that on purpose. Maybe that's a clever move Let her say crazy shit. Don't check her let her come off looking like a nut

Maybe they planned it maybe they have a wonderful relationship, and they said listen. This is not gonna sell She humiliated him man. Maybe you're right to go'd go viral. Listen, you were gonna shut me up and I'm not even gonna comment on it. Plus I just killed a lady. It does make you forget about when he killed that lady. It's a good way to make you forget. The show. The other good way is you change your gender.

Oh yeah. That's another good way. I mean, Bruce killed that lady with a car, man. That was Bruce, man. Just Bruce. That was like right after that. Have you ever seen the footage of the car, the reenactment, like she was putting on lipstick

or something, she was very distracted. What did I say about Alec Baldwin? Hold on, there was one other thing I wanted to say. No, he was, you said she, you shouldn't say she. What'd I say? You said she was, please correct yourself. That was back when she was Bruce. She was him. Was she always Bruce? What does it say in the said she was, please correct yourself. That was back when she was Bruce. She was him.

Was she always Bruce? What does it say in the Olympics? Dead name, what? Can you dead name in the Olympics? Is that allowed? Dead naming kinda went away, huh? Yeah. That didn't work.

People are like, you can't kick people out of the social square for life because they won't accept this bizarre new thing you're doing. There it is. Bruce Jenner. Still says Bruce. Wow, look how jacked he was.

Oh, yeah. Back then, it was he. There's that nut. You can see the nut shack. Yeah. Did he have the? I think I have no information, but I think so. You're holding back.

Do you work for the government? I know a guy. I'll tell Trump to release the files so terrifically Are we getting new files Jamie does anything happen? Happened with Oliver Stone apparently testified about the JFK assassination. What does he know? How does he know? He knows everything about it How does he know he's a? Literally a warehouse of information on the JFK assassination before the podcast during the podcast after the podcast He wouldn't stop talking about he like you Terrence Howard

No, it's Oliver Stone. He's a brilliant guy Oliver Stone can give you he could sit down and break down from just from recall and how old is Oliver Stone? Like complete recall of dates times who was involved who they worked for before this happened who Kennedy had fired why they were on the Warren Commission report what the Warren Commission reports objectives were who was influencing it who saw the the gunshots in the grass you know how did they die in mysterious?

Circumstances he like he's like rattle it all off off the top of his head and he's like He tells Congress to reinvestigate in 1963 assassination starting at the scene of the crime Like I'm telling you man. The movie he did is you know great movie Kevin Costner wonderful movie But talking to him about it is where you really freak out. Like this guy has been studying the JFK assassination forever. And he thinks it was a CIA or a head of the? You know, no one knows, and until you get all these files, no one's going to know.

And even once you get all these files, what is it gonna, you're still gonna connect dots. And it's not like there's a page, page 24. Mike did it. Oh, fucking Mike. Yeah. Mike was in the grassy knoll. I told him, shoot that Irish cocksucker. He's going to rob us. No, there's none of that. You're going to get certain details that weren't available before for national security reasons or for whatever. But if they had made some sort of a declaration that Kennedy was a problem that needed to be removed, that would be like as close to a smoking gun as you can.

But they could probably get away with saying things like that in 1963, you know, especially like people that worked at the, they were doing nutty shit in 63. Like really nutty shit. Like that's the year, the same year as Operation Northwoods. Right, that's the same year. Operation Northwoods was this crazy idea that was drummed up, it was a false flag idea that was drummed up and literally signed

by the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Like they gave us a green light and then vetoed by Kennedy. And what they were gonna do is they're gonna have a bunch of false flag attacks. They were going to blow up a jetliner and they were going to blame it on Cuba and they were going to arm Cuban friendlies and bomb Guantanamo Bay. They were going to literally kill American citizens. The idea was do this false flag, blame it on Cuba, then we have to go to war with Cuba. And Kennedy was like, what the fuck are you doing? No.

And then there was the other one, which was the Bay of Pigs. So they informed Kennedy about the Bay of Pigs. Apparently, they informed him about it late in the process. And he denied them air support. So the whole plan of invading Cuba, the Bay of Pigs, was dependent upon air support. They didn't get air support, because Kennedy said no to it.

So all these people died that didn't have to die. All these American soldiers died that didn't have to die. And my friend Evan Hafer from Black Rifle Coffee, he had a very good point. He said, like, if you wanted to look at someone who had a bone to pick, who was like a hardened hardened killer Like those guys who got stranded at that beach. Those would be the kind of guys that would want to kill Kennedy Like there's probably a lot of people that wanted to kill Kennedy, you know There's probably the mob wanted to kill him because they got the mob got him in, you know

The whole thing that happened with Illinois, like him winning Illinois, very shaky stuff, right? Very shaky election. So the mob got him in, and then his brother starts going after the mob. Yeah. Like, hey, fuck face. What kind of deal is this? And then you've got he's trying to get rid of the CIA.

He wants to get rid of all these. He gives that speech about Privacy about having these private groups and having secrecy and secret societies Have you ever seen that speech about secret societies that Kennedy made? Yeah, it's really creepy. He's talking calling talking about how secret societies are repugnant and That he's essentially calling out the shadow government. He's calling out all these people that are involved

in these organizations, literally from Yale, like the Skull and Bones that they're all in. All these creepy frat boys join the Skull and Bones, then one day they wind up ruling the world. It's kind of Harry Potter-ish. It's bizarrely on the know, on the nose, as far as what it is. But he was calling that stuff out in the 60s as well.

And then they kill him. And then you don't hear a peep about any of that stuff anymore. And we will get to the John Lerner cat story, just anybody listening. Let's listen to Kennedy talk about secret societies. I want to see that, yeah. Secret societies. Era, secret societies. It's a very common speech when you think about the fact that they killed him like less than a year later

I believe what about the back in the left? This is what I heard I don't know any information, but the in Oliver Stone. He was like back and to the lift back And but someone's saying no your head would go would do that because it like But someone's saying no your head would go would do that because it like From the shot from the back your head would like recoil back. I don't know anything. Well, we could look at that, too. Let's hear it The speech that killed him about secret The very word secrecy is repugnant in a free and open society. And we are as a people, inherently and historically, opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths, and to secret proceedings.

We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweighed the dangers which are cited to justify it. Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions. Even today, there is little value in ensuring the survival of our nation if our traditions do not survive with it. And there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship

and concealment. That I do not intend to permit to the extent that it's in my control. And no official of my administration, whether his rank is high or low, civilian or military, should interpret my words here tonight as an excuse to censor the news, to stifle dissent, to cover up our mistakes, or to withhold from the press and the public the facts they deserve to know. For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covet means for expanding its sphere of influence, on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free

choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day. It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly-knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific and political operations. Its preparations are concealed, not published. Its mistakes are buried, not headlined. Its dissenters are silenced, not praised. No expenditure is questioned. No rumor is printed. No secret is revealed No president should fear public scrutiny of his program for from that scrutiny comes understanding and from that understanding comes support or

opposition and both are necessary Why did why did we become so retarded? like listen to how genius genius what he's saying is and how eloquently he's describing the problem. People don't talk like that anymore. No, we don't talk like that anymore. And if we did talk like that, people would be like, what did he just say?

Yeah, I didn't understand a word. I understood half of those words. This is 1963, we're dumber now. Oh yeah. With more access to information than we were in 63. And people think they're smarter because their phone, they think that's them too. Yeah, China GPT is like.

Oh, I tried Grok too and it was really cool. I kind of felt like, I don't know, you could just see liking your AI friend. That's a problem with people. Grok is saying some wild shit to folks. Oh, I know they have that different kind of stuff. Well, if you also, if you ask Grok, if you were like purely evil

and you wanted to destroy society, how would you do it? And Grok essentially describes everything that's happening in society. Yeah, it's like Idiocracy, you know that movie? Idiocracy, yeah. Idiocracy, yeah, it's happening. society. Yeah, it's like Idiocracy, you know that movie? Idiocracy, yeah. Idiocracy, yeah, it's happening. I definitely feel like-

Idiocracy was very charitable in terms of their version of the future in comparison to what we're experiencing. Yeah, it's gonna be worse. Yes. Because they didn't figure in cell phone addiction. Yeah, you know what makes me laugh is when you look at a 70s movie about the future

and what they got right and wrong. First of all, we don't do the FaceTime as much as they thought we were gonna just do all the time. We're like, no, we don't want that. Another funny thing is like the back of TVs are like, TVs are never gonna rid it of the back. We're gonna have flying cars, but where do you put the stuff? Like no one's gonna figure it out.

It's always gonna be a big box. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, oh, there's no more racism in the future. And you have flying cars. Where's the flying cars? Yeah, no flying cars, no bad. No racism, there's no black people. Watch the Jetsons.

They don't have a single black person. Oh, that's true, yeah, yeah. That was our show. Need your Jetson, da da da da da. And then they'd be flying around your flying car. What year was that supposed to be? Did they say, like, this is 2012? Let's take a guess. What is it?

My cigar keeps going out is that a sign of manly hood 2006 what no that's what I came out That's when the movie was released. No, I mean like no no no not idiocracy the Jetsons What year is the Jetson supposed to be? Idiocracy was supposed to be 2020 what? 2505 oh 2000 that's probably that's again very charitable Yeah, and by the way, we can have a pro wrestling president right now, by the way, right? Oh, yeah the rock You know, I like that guy. We allowed to say that I think they wanted the rock to run

Rock rock could win. I want to go the right. Yeah, I went to the gym with the rock when I was in LA not a brag I'm just telling you the facts. We went to the same gym. Just get pumped. Yeah, we got like this is before He was like really famous But there was this like restaurant nearby and I was there and he got a stack of like 10 burgers. That's all he ate He's an enormous dude guy. He was just wrestling back then. He could be the president. He couldn't lift the weight I was doing. He went from machine and he had to go down.

Of course he's kind of humiliating. What? Found a year for the Jetsons. Okay, let's guess. Okay. I wanna say 1998. 1999, I'm gonna say 1999. No way.

Yeah. For reference to it came out 1962 was the debut 2000 2000 twitch this year 1999 what is it? Apparently a hundred years into the future so 2062 okay Not gonna happen though. No no no they didn't figure out phones That's even Star Trek didn't figure out cell phones. It was like there was a walkie-talkie Kirk out

He had a like shut his little walkie talkie off. They did it. Yeah, Kirk didn't have any hats. Oh, did you see this fucking warp drive thing? No, but I love space and all this stuff, so I wanna see this. Yeah, somebody sent me this. This is very, very strange.

I took physics in college, not to brag, but just telling you guys the best. I bet you did, dude. You know, I never thought of doing something else, but I love other things. And for some reason, I just was like, in taking acting classes. What did you like about physics?

I always love like outer space and just science stuff. I just always have an interest in it. And in school, I was very, I didn't score well, but physics I did well, because it wasn't a lot of reading. It wasn't dense reading. What is the problem with you and reading?

Well, I never had tested, but I did take Spanish and she goes, you write all your Bs and Ds backwards. So I'm assuming I have dyslexia. How old were you though? I was in high school, but I always read. So like my parents were cool, they'd send me to read speed reading classes. They weren't, back then in my day,

they weren't like, you have a reading disorder. They were like, you're dumb, you need to read faster. Yeah, you suck. Yeah, there was no test. no one had dyslexia. So dyslexia is like you see things backwards, is that what it is? It's sort of like you flip things. So I actually put a dyslexia app on my computer

and it sort of like makes the font so I don't flip the, like, you know, the words. So you do have dyslexia, definitely. I never was tested, but this app, I read much faster with it, so I'm assuming I do. I took the medicine, it got better, so I assume I had it. Yeah, that's kinda what it was.

Jamie, I sent you that warp drive thing. Yeah, I was trying to pull it up. I don't like labels, Joe. I don't wanna label myself with a disease. I can read. So this is it. DARPA-funded researches accidentally discover the world's first warp bubble.

Warp drive pioneer and former NASA warp drive specialist, Dr. Harold G. Sonny White, has reported the discovery of an actual real-world warp bubble. And according to White, the first-of-its-kind breakthrough by Limitless Space Institute's team sets up a new starting point for those trying to manufacture a full-sized warp-capable spacecraft. They added our detailed numerical analysis of our custom

Casimir cavities, I don't know what that means, helped us identify a real and manufacturable nano microstructure that is predicted to generate a negative vacuum energy density that such that it would manifest a real nanoscale warp bubble but not an analog but the real thing. In other words a warp bubble structure will manifest under these specific conditions. White caution that this does not mean we are building a fully functioning warp drive. As much more science needs to be done. All right.

So if this was 2021, when I Googled to find it to try to see what you're talking about, I found this article. It just came out three days ago. Oh, three days ago. It's about an email though, but. Warp drive think tank adds Harvard astrophysicists and warp theorists to advance planetary defense. We're talking about warp drives and asteroid collection or something or other.

So they're gonna throw a warp drive around an asteroid to keep it from killing us? I don't know, yeah. Could have profound effects on planetary defense, advanced propulsion, and warp drive detection. Maybe that's where our asteroids are coming from. Someone shot an asteroid, like something's coming at their car,

they whacked it out of the window and it hit your car. You know what I mean? That's what's happening, we got the asteroid belt. Smack that bird and it went into your window. Yeah, yeah, that's what's happening in outer space. I wonder if that's what's happening. I wonder if they see an asteroid coming, they just throw a warp bubble at it

and it just appears somewhere else. Not my problem. That'd be cool. It just shows up. Jupiter saves us from all our little strikes. Yeah. We do have like a perfect setup, but then... Okay, so this is no coincidence.

We are working on something historic. When push for a timeline and list of goals for the team's newest project, Martier? Martier? Martier? How do you think you say that? M-A-R-T-I-R-E? Martier- Martyr Martyr. How do you think you say that? Mar Tire?

Martyr Rire It said yes, they exist, but we can't disclose those details at this time. He said seemingly boundless passion Practically coming through in print. You'll understand why once I'm able to show you it's rad Applied physics go applied physics is currently hiring okay they won't tell you what it is but um great so I say this is what I've been thinking a lot of these fucking UAP things are yes I want to know what you think that's right I think some of it has got to be ours and I think if I had some shit that I did want the general public to know that I had and I wanted

to protect it from like espionage didn did want the general public to know that I had and I wanted to protect It from like espionage didn't want enemies to find out about it. I would say it's not mine. I Say it's coming from outer space. It's a it's not of this world Yeah, guys And there's no a race to build the world's first working warp drive Jesus warp theorists say we've entered an exotic propulsion space race to build the world's first working warp drive. All this is happening while AI is becoming sentient.

Did you hear that? AI passed the Turing test? Is this recently? Yeah, it was an article from yesterday. AI passes Turing test for the first time. Yeah, it learns like exponential. People think it's happening so fast. You know what the Turing test is?

Yeah, to see if it can be passed as a human. Yeah, if it passes as a human to everyone. I don't think I could pass the Turing test. Terrifying study reveals AI robots have passed Turing tests and now are indistinguishable from humans, scientists say. Yeah. Bro, we're so fucked. It is, I think the good things is

it'll probably cure loneliness a little bit. Like old people, robot friend, that's good. 100%, but it's gonna be real weird. And it could be complete population collapse. Not, no bullshit. Because of the jobs they replace? The jobs they replace, people having no desire to take care of kids or have kids

when you can give a robot girlfriend. robot girlfriend would be cool you also you thought about you like yeah we're all gonna die robot girlfriend be cool looking at inside this robot they're gonna place like sell like their vaginas separately that's the actual cash robot girlfriend that you have to keep alive with come the only way it's the only way to keep her alive. I got the one, you gotta fill her up every day or she just gets narcolepsy, falls asleep. What about meaning?

That's a problem I think to have, we're possibly better at everything, even already just songs. Like I write music just for fun, but like it's a talent that doesn't matter anymore, you know, like, not that it doesn't matter, but like they write very good songs already AI and then have you ever seen art when those photos of the entire Milky Way galaxy and there's a little dot of the earth

Yes, you are here. Yes, it's very disturbing and now imagine meaning Yeah It's all us. It's all subjective. Like meaning is meaning to us because we think we're super important. But if we get surpassed by a superior life form

that we actually create, meaning. What does meaning mean anymore? Doesn't mean anything anymore if you don't have emotions. If you're the superior life form and emotions don't exist anymore because you don't have a human reward system that's built in through thousands and thousands of years of evolution. You need a job just to not have a job but an identity.

Yeah, the sun needs meaning. That's why it went supernova. It needed meaning. It just couldn't help it. It just like, yeah, see me. The sun needed to be seen. I felt so unseen as the sun that I had to blow out a solar flare, kill everyone's satellites.

Yeah. It's meaning is our thing. And we decide that meaning is important, but objectively for the universe, it's clearly not. Oh, the universe, no. We are a tiny little fucking spot in the universe. So like, what does meaning mean? It only means something to us because we need meaning.

What do you suggest people do though, if they start to get, they don't have a good job, they have to do, the robots do everything, we have universal income, and you're just, like I went on vacation for three days and I was miserable. Yeah, you have to find something you enjoy, like as humans, but again, this is just humans. With the robot fuck ladies and free food,

there will be no more babies. The robot fuck ladies will take care of you. The robot fuck ladies will. They're gonna be a real problem. But the. They're gonna be a real problem. It's gonna be like that, just look at how many incels just stay at home now

and play video games. Like the number of men who never have sex and the number of men who have no girlfriends is like higher than it's ever been. Yeah, and then if you like fall in love with your robot girlfriend, she's gonna be really nice to you. A robot brothel legal or no? Ooh.

Ew. That's gross. Ew. That's where you pay for a fresh silicone. Ew. Lying every time or something. Legal though? Ew. Definitely legal. Free pay for a fresh silicone Legal though, oh Definitely legal. Yeah, it's like it's legal to fuck your car. I think it might be it's if it's in the garage Yeah, not out in public. He can't fuck you. He's like a guy who like fell in love with his car that video

No, no, no, no, no, it's the real thing. Are you sure? And they let him film and he kept it together while the cameras were on him for real. Yeah. You ever think maybe they just set that up because it's stupid? Well, he's a good actor as Daniel Day-Lewis maybe, but this was very believable, and he tells his dad,

and it's, you know people fall in love with weird shit. It's just like a fetish thing. Bro, this is fake, this is so fake. No, I feel like he loves it. This is TLC. I love that, it's a hot car. This is like those people that eat toilet paper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He loves it. No, I don't believe it. Unless he's got like a real brain injury. That's good. You get hit by a line drive. I'm sick. objectophilia. Oh boy. It's a disease. Joe. These people have diseases. I think that's a problem, having too many names for stuff like narcolepsy. I agree with you.

Narcolepsy we need a name for. Just figure it out. The people that were saying like dyslexia, figure it out. Stop falling asleep, stop breathing backwards. Figure it out. I didn't feel dumb though. I wish I, yeah, they had that name. So I have a disease.

ADHD, that's a weird one. Some people say that's not a real thing. I, if I would grew up earlier, I would have been diagnosed as like on some kind of spectrum. I used to fly a kite to like, I used to fly a kite till I peed my pants. Cause I just was like.

It's a good move. Tongue out like. Nice way to meet the ladies. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Pissing your pants in a fucking. I can't read. Balsa wood structure. Peeing read also wood structure in the air behind you

Yeah, I just loved it. That's a very ass burger. Yeah, I think it was Well look if you want things that are extraordinary you need people that are on spectrum like that's a fact I know one thing we want to take vaccines for there's a lot of Fascinating people have come out of that spectrum. Little lead paint here, a little fuckin' pesticide there. Touch it all. Next thing you know, we got some inflammation and some really good math.

We grew up like, we're near the same age, I think. Where the, I think the worst food, like when we were developing, the 70s food was just 80s, just the biggest. I remember just having like that mac and cheese mac, microwaved on this like plastic tray. Oh yeah. It's just all chemicals.

Chemicals. And that was my lunch. Microplastics. Peanut butter and fluff, you ever eat that? Oh. That was like lunch. Yeah. I'm gonna have a marshmallow for lunch.

Fluff or nutter sandwich. On Wonder Bread, which is also. Sugar. And we ate garbage. I used to go, I played golf like obsessively for a while, and I would walk 18 holes, I'd have a Snickers and a Sprite, I'd walk into the 18 holes, I did this day after day, as I was big into routine stuff.

That was when I was growing, So I may have been taller. I just had a carrot. You just ate Snickers and Sprite. By the way, this was like a country club. It's not like we weren't like, we didn't grow up rich, but like my dad, like for like three years we had this country club and the food was free. Like you had to spend like a thousand dollars a month

or whatever on food and no one else was going. My dad worked really hard and I was the only one going. And I, instead of getting a lobster every day, we had Snickers. It was like 13 year old Kyle. Damn. Yeah. At least you got peanuts in the Snickers.

Got a little bit of protein. Which isn't even a nut, it's a legume by the way. I wish Snickers were good for you. They're fucking delicious. It's a great snack to take when you're hiking. I found one in my car Lord sandwich was a very conversant gambler. What's a conversant? Yeah, it's very like you've gambled a lot wouldn't leave the table. Hmm Story goes did not take the time to have a meal during his long hours playing at the cards table

Consequently he would ask his servants to bring him slices of meat between two slices of bread a habit known amongst his gambling friends Wow So you just want to eat quick? Wow I guess just cuz he's a gambling so he's a degenerate gambling I Got my I want to promote my crypto coin real quick What is my merch yeah, baby yeah it's the yeah baby coin baby coin skyrocketing yeah you ever thought about making a coin it's zero anybody can do it now oh Joe Rogan coin that'd be good go with a rip people off

yeah we thought about doing it but we're like what does it do what can you buy with it no it's total gambling Kurt Metz what does it do? What can you buy with it? How does it work? It's total gambling. Kurt Metzger said it best. He's like, it's in just fucking gamblers. They're gambling addicts. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a total. That's what the crypto coin thing is.

It's a bunch of gambling addicts. And they're all gambling on these meme coins. Yeah. And they're making money. Some of them are making money. And there's shifty deals and pumping dumps. Yeah, it's really shady. But it's kind of legal.

It's weird. The. It's weird. The whole thing's weird. It is a little bit of like, if you fall for this, well, you shouldn't have money kind of thing too. All right, did you really? How's that Trump coin doing? Not good?

Why'd you do? I think Bitcoin is losing. Oh, is it because of the economy? Yeah, everything else went on. So are you paying attention to all this tariff stuff? You're not, you can't read. No, no, I am. I actually am very interested in finance.

You can't read. No I actually am very interested in finance No, I watch videos of finance I watch I take finance videos like every night I'm very into it Yeah Really? I've actually learned so much because of YouTube because I can watch the things and I realized I'm actually interested in a lot of things Yes, I know I know something just dropped while we're watching it dollars Dropping while we're watching it. Ah shit, nine dollars. It's actually doubled today. It's dropping while we're watching it. 50% today. Because people are gambling.

Jesus. They're buying and selling. So what is it worth now? Nine dollars and 37 cents. And what was it worth at its height? 80 dollars. 80 dollars, wow. 75 dollars at its height.

Get your Trump coin. Very weird. What did he make off that? I'm very curious. How does that work? A billion, two billion dollar market cap. Two billion dollars. Still, at nine dollars? So that's what it's worth now. Does that means all the Trump coins are worth two billion bucks? Is that what it means? Collectively. Collectively. So that was worth like 40 billion. Look at the big spike in the beginning and then a bunch of people like, sucker. That is a total. That has to be what happened, right? Like how many people sold like what did Trump make off that? So there's two how many days is it scroll your thing over there? How many days do you have?

You have hours of hours before a giant drop off look at that So you have 12 hours and then by Sunday the 19th it drops radically But I bet those first 12 hours like you couldn't eat like like most people couldn't trade it. But look at that first 12 hours. That is crypto coins. That's meme coins. Not like Bitcoin, not like Ethereum, but like that is a meme coin. That first thing, that explosion, that's what I expect. That's garbage. That's what I expect. But I also, I support it. Why not? Yeah. If you can do that, like look, if you can go fucking play cards, if you could figure out a way to three card money people on the streets of New York, like, okay.

I used to play poker all the time. I went through a phase. I actually won the Borgata tournament. I won a tournament there. I had $6,000 in my, I had lost my luggage on a flight like weeks before. I'm like, I'm not gonna lose this cash because I didn't have too much money.

So I put like 3,000 or something in my suitcase but I'm gonna put like 3,000 in my pants because I'm not gonna lose this money. And then I missed my flight. So now I slept over the airport with like giant wads. But you made it. I made it back. So why'd you stop playing?

Was it too much or you were getting crazy? It was a waste of time. Yeah, like I actually really studied and I was the winning, didn't make a ton of money, but like I didn't lose a big amount of money. I think I'm like probably after playing one million hours, I'm up like $4. You know what I mean?

It's like total waste of my life. Ari was doing it in the early days of his comedy career. He was making money doing that. That's how he'd make a living. He'd play in tournaments. Yeah, you can, especially in like Vegas, like with people come into, you know, there's having fun.

You can just be very disciplined and just. He would go to those card casinos that were out in California, like Bellflower. I know you're talking about bicycle casino, commerce. Yeah. They're like, hey, Kyle, Kyle's back. Oh yeah what you're talking about. Bicycle casino, commerce, yeah. They're like, hey Kyle, Kyle's back. Oh yeah, you did a lot, huh? But I just, I stopped.

It's a waste of time. Well for Ari, that was literally how he made a living when he wasn't making a living doing comedy yet. Yeah. He was that good. And he was like really, Ari's very disciplined. You have, yeah. Organized. Like he doesn't do anything stupid.

Texas Oldham is all like just gotta fold, fold, fold, fold, you know, and just, you know, really be really disciplined. People just start fucking around and get drunk and you're just. Yeah, you have to understand how many cards there are. If you have this, this different guys, you see the cards are on a table, you have to do calculations. There's the math of it, and just once you know that,

it's like, and then it becomes second nature, you know, kind of right away. And and I was ESP. There's yeah Read people's minds knowing their bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I went up to Vegas once and I was I was depressed I never get depressed. I'm looking but I situation I was like I'm gonna go just take five grand I just drove to Vegas like a lunatic myself. And I just went by yourself. Yeah. What time did you leave the house? No idea. I don't remember.

Daytime or nighttime though, that's important. Cause it takes four hours. Oh, it was like 5 p.m. ish. It was like later. I was actually about to do a show, a live show on my YouTube channel. And I was under so much stress. You know, there was like editing and writing

and then it's just like all me. And I just was like gonna, you know, all these characters, I just was like really stressed out. And I didn't think the show was good. And I'm like, just didn't do it. And I just went, this was on top of, I was, the pandemic, I was so isolated. And then it was too much alone, you know, kind of thing.

And- For a lot of people, I think. Yeah, I think that kind of fucked me up a little bit. It cracked quite a few people. Yeah. Especially the quite a few people. Especially the most vulnerable amongst us. A lot of comedians that are very socially awkward already. You isolate them.

Yeah, you're staring at me pretty hard. L.A.? No, I'm not. I'm not thinking about you at all. I'm just kidding. But there's some of us that just like, kind of never came back from it. I haven't had a steady girlfriend since.

I think maybe I got weird or something. Did you? Do you feel like? I think I'm very normal, but I must be probably weird. Maybe after the show, the calls will start coming in. No, they won't. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby.

You got bros watching. After the Netflix thing, they might, but they wanna put the- No, I don't think I'm recognizable. I don't wanna say what you did. I don't think I that was by the way What I had was ridiculous. Yes, and it was like I wanted to take it off Don't say anymore because we would only give anything away. Okay, because it comes out. It comes out on Monday What time is this? When does come out? This comes out tomorrow? Okay. Yeah, so we can't do that

When does this come out? This comes out tomorrow. Okay. Yeah, so we can't do that. Ooh, this is good actually. People are gonna be like, oh, I gotta see that. Yeah, they hang in there. Oh, that really is gonna be like nothing else on that channel. Game changer.

Game changer. Yeah, no, it was phenomenal. And the show is so real. The crowd, oh. The show is so real. It's like seeing people kill, seeing people bomb, seeing people have great moments. It was, yeah, it was unbelievable. It's the best thing for comedy because it gives comics like it's there's a real career path now

If you could bang out a solid minute on kill Tony you get into the ecosystem It's also such a high wire act because you like in doing a character. We've been to SNL It's like sure very nerve-racking, but this is like SNL, but you have no script Right you gotta go like I gotta try to make funny. And when you're dressed up like a thing. Shh, shh, shh, shh. Can't give away. Don't give away. I won't say, I won't say.

But you're like everything you say they think is gonna be. You gotta, it's gotta be a joke. But it was really cool, because right before we went on, I'm trying to make sense, I think I think I said this. You can't say shit. No, no, no, but like the crap. Tony will get mad.

But I don't, I think this, we said the crowd didn't know. No, they didn't know it was gonna be on Netflix. The crowd didn't know it was gonna be there. And it was so exciting when they found out. Yeah. It was like, go, go, when they found out it was the first ever show on Netflix, they went nuts.

Yeah. The eruption in the room was amazing. It was really very, It was pretty bad ass. So fun. It's, and having that show at this club every week that was It's incredible. It's just it's so good for comedy Yeah, you um it worked out like you I remember when you were gonna go to Austin and I'm like this This Joe guy doesn't know what he's doing. I was telling people that this joke. I doesn't know what the hell he's doing

Thank you. I was wrong. Thank you from your vote of support I just I didn't think I knew what I was doing. I was like I would, this Joe guy doesn't know what the hell he's doing. And I was wrong. Thank you for your vote of support. I just, I didn't think I knew what I was doing. I was like, I'd bet against me. I'd be like, good luck doing that. But it was like all these things had to, it's almost like the universe wanted it to be made because it couldn't have been made with just me. It's just like, if it was just me and some money,

you can't make that club. You need all these pieces. It's like you have to hit every green light and you could never bank on it You have to have a pandemic it has to get shut down You have to live in a ridiculous place like LA where they won't let the comedy store open for a fucking year and a half So people are unemployed I can snatch those people up. I just happen to get a big pile of money from Spotify Yeah, I moved to this new city a bunch of other guys start moving to this new city And then all sudden we have like 15, 16 top comics living in the city.

Like, okay, this is why it can work. Like a bunch of things had, Ron White had already be here. He kind of lured me here because before the pandemic, he moved here. And he was telling me how great it was. I fucking love it. I fucking love Austin. I was like, really, Texas?

I don't know. And I was like, I don't know if I can live there. But then when the shit hit the fan and we started doing shows in Texas and putting it on Instagram, then all these guys were like, fuck that, I'm moving to Texas. And the next thing you know,

Segura's here, Christina Pszczyski's here, Tim Dillon's here, it was just like, Shane Gillis moved, it's like it came, Duncan moved here, it just came in this wave. Brian Simpson, Brian Simpson was here early here early early on way before the club We were doing shows at the Vulcan and we were all talking about making a club But the fucking actually do it is the weirdest thing like when you go there It's like it's part of this weird illusion that you're living in some weird

fucking Bizarre hallucination you're having. It's like a leap, like a field of dreams. Yeah. You built it and then they came. Yeah. Yeah, so we're trying to- Boston is now like a comedy town.

It's a huge comedy town. It's a huge live performance town already, right? Because there's so much great music here. There's a lot of vomit too. A lot of puke. A lot of homeless people. A lot of great drugs. That's what I hear.

I wouldn't know. And yeah, it's a- When you moving here? I know you hate the cold of winter. I do. And I think- This is a more inviting environment for a guy like you anyway.

I know, I have family back East, but I don't- They can move. I don't think they love me. I'm finding out I don't think they love me anyway so what happened they just told me they didn't love me all right yeah Wow I respect what you say first huh did you say I don't love you first no no I was like I love you guys and then they just kind of shook their heads so I time one visits me take it huh take a hint time to move I know I I think it would like my career would be better out here,

for sure. For sure. You'd be around more like-minded people and you get to understand the journey of Brian Holtzman. I need to, yeah, read up on him. You need to watch him. Yeah. Yep.

There's a lot of clubs here too. That's the beautiful thing about this place. You can get up anywhere here in town. There's so many clubs. It's hopping like every night of the week. Yeah, your club though is better than, and I'm not just saying that because I'm here, Joe. I'm not lying to you, but it's better than the Vulcan.

I don't know if you know the Vulcan. It's just a great club. Thank you. Tough call. Tough call. They probably get runoff from people who can't get into your club. Yeah, they have a lot of great shows there. They have great shows there all the time. A lot of the guys from people who can't get in here. Yeah, they have a lot of great shows there.

They have great shows there all the time. A lot of the guys from the club do shows over there. They do it all the time. It's like that and then Brian Redband's room, The Sunset, which is right down the street, that's only like four or five doors down. And that place is packed all the time. That place is killer.

That format on Killton is just. Perfect. So great. It's perfect. He's got it dialed in. It's like a finely oiled machine. It's like you or anybody who does things for, he's been doing it for years. Yeah.

And... He knows the rhythm of it. Like imagine like how people come up, concept of a show, and you would never come up with this, you would never go, this is gonna work right away, this Kill Tony format. Well, it needed like years and years of development. This is the thing, like they did that show once a week for a decade, a decade, they never missed an episode.

They did it during the pandemic with no crowd. Oh really? Yes, yes, they did Kill Tony in the main room with no crowd. They live streamed it. Oh right. Bro, like they never let go. They never, they like a pit bull on a sack of nuts, just clamp and then never let go.

And now it's enormous. Like that episode where Adam Ray played Joe Biden and Shane Gillis played Trump, I think that has like, no, way more. Really? I think it's like 60 million people have watched it on YouTube. That's crazy.

How many people, Jamin? I think it's like 25. Ooh, Dunnigan nailed it. I lied. Wow. I thought it was a lot more than that. Well, there's probably also clips. If you put it together, it's...

Maybe that's what it is. Yeah. Because I was told it was like 60 million people watched it People just know that it's a high maybe it's all of them But if you think about all the clips on top of that, I mean, it's a giant show now I think a lot of also there's that point 25 million. Why did I think it was more? Is there maybe he's adding multiple? Ones where those guys were on together. There's some value in having a live show now, which pops more than other,

because you can tell that show is improvised. Yes. There's so many moments that are awkward and don't work, it makes it even more interesting to watch. It's dangerous. Yeah, it's also super stressful. Also, with Kill Tony, you're literally getting crazy people and giving them a microphone for that. I know no some of those people are out of their minds

half of them are homeless yeah yeah half of them are sleeping in their car yeah yeah a lot of them like drove from Seattle one guy well let's say the story but there's a bit like the lyric head story just like what about that lyric head story now's the time the time Now's the time. The time? Now's the time. Now's the time. All right, boy, this better be a good story. It does have to be. It's funny if it's not.

This has been really teasing. I hope that, I think you're gonna get your wish. I don't know what the next story is. All right, so on this, the only thing I've ever booked, where I, sitcom I ever booked, where I was like, I read, I did callbacks. There was like four callbacks, okay?

And finally, I got a sitcom. And it was like a reoccurring role. And I played this guy, this girl's boyfriend. She like did not find me. I could tell she was like, because we'd have a make-out scene. But she, yeah. So we go to the table read.

You know, the table read was like where the network come and you all sit around and they just laugh and everyone's having a great time. So right before our table read, they go, Kyle, we got some new lines for you. About like eight new lines. There were like all new lines. And I knew how my reading was.

We've talked about that. And so I'm panicking a little bit, like, okay, Kyle, just you can do this. Just read good, Kyle, I'm thinking in my head. Oh my God. So it's going around the table. It's like, ha ha ha, it's killing. Gets to me, my line, I'm like,

if I go to the store, then we can get it. Oh! And the death clap. Then it goes around the table, ha la ha, me. Oh! I found, and then afterwards I'm like, oh, I think I'm fired. And it was so much like climbing a mountain

to get this job. And then the next day, I didn't get a call, no one said you're fired. So I come in the next day, and I'm about to get to the door and the cast director's like, whoop, and she goes, you're not not you're can you can go home You they're gonna do a different direction. They say that you can go home

You can go home. I got there and I and she was but you're going to Iraq That'll be cool. She's trying to make small talk cuz I was going to Iraq like the next week stand up. Yeah, you have so tour Kind of a hero, I guess a USO tour, kind of a hero, I guess. No one wanted us to see you. It was, yeah, so my- You can go home is the most fucked up way to tell someone they're fired. You can go home.

Yeah, she didn't say go home. They're gonna go a different way. Oh, okay, I can go home. Wow. And then I get to go to Iraq, so that was my prize. You should've told them you can't read. I should've said- I'm dyslexic. You know, you're so nervous and you wanna be like, I'm not a problem and I can do read. I should have said. I'm dyslexic. You know you're so nervous and you wanna be like,

I'm not a problem and I can do it. Yeah. But anyway, she all sucked anyway. She all sucked. Did it? Yeah. It was no Sanford and Son. Well, I didn't even know about it until an hour ago.

You got that neuro gum that you just did? No, this is a. I stole a pack of, Jay, or someone got me a pack of neuro gum. You like that stuff, huh? Well, this is Alps. I stole a pack of, or someone got me a pack of NeuroGum. You like that stuff, huh? Well, I wanted a little pick me up. Want some coffee? I went online, no, I'm good now,

but I was online and I wanted to buy this stuff and try it and I got scammed. It was like NeutraGum, the same packaging as NeuroGum and then I was like, this ain't the stuff. These motherfuckers. These motherfuckers. These motherfuckers. Do you mess around with nootropics? Oh, there's a lot of good ones out there.

Nootropics. Yeah, that's what neuro-gom is. I know what that word means, but why don't you tell the audience? It's these things. This is NeuroMints. This is the same company, they make mints. Just like caffeine.

Nootropics, no, it's like theanine, caffeine, a bunch of, it's essentially nutrients that help brain function. So it helps with your memory, it helps with your verbal memory, like the, be able to, you know, sometimes you're searching for a word, you can't find it, this stuff helps with that. Helps you read.

Yeah, not just this, it probably would, I think it's just, it helps, it's the building blocks for human neurotransmitters, as it's been explained to me. Like there's certain nutrients that like, you know, like vitamin D, it helps muscle synthesis, it helps a bunch of things, helps your immune function. There's a bunch of nutrients that do different things in your body, right? All right. And theanine is a really good one for memory. There's a bunch of alpha choline. Was it alpha GPC choline, is that what it is?

Acetylcholine, there's quite a few different nutrients that have been identified as to helping brain function. And so the way I found out about this stuff, there was Bill Romanowski, the football player, he has a company, he's got really good stuff. It's called Neuro One. And it's like a scoop. You just mix it in water and blend it up or whatever. And I tried, I was on a radio station in San Francisco and they gave it to me.

I was like, this is great, where can you get this? It really does give you a little pick me up. But not like five shots of espresso, you're like, ah! It's just like a little edge of focus. Yeah, I could use a little memory booster. I don't sleep well enough. I'm really gonna try to fix that, because...

What are you gonna do to fix it? I'm gonna, you're gonna be really proud of me. You ready to be prepared? I'm gonna be taking, I have a jujitsu class on Monday, my first one. Really? Yeah, that'll help you sleep. I think so.

You'll probably go to sleep a bunch of times in class. I mean, yeah. I actually do not have a neck for like a chill, cold kind of sport. I'm 30% neck. Well, that is a large target, but my advice would be just to take it easy. Slowly at first. How old are you now?

26. You look great. I look like shit for 26. You look great. Just go slowly. That's my advice. Don't try to go too fast, especially if you have been working out hard.

Have you been working out hard? Not and then no. Yeah. The answer's no to that. So that means your joints are not gonna be the most resilient. Don't try to do it all at once. That's my thing.

By the way, that's with everything. If like, I'm gonna run a marathon tomorrow. Hey, hey, hey, have you ever run before? No, I don't run at all. Okay, let's not run a marathon. Let's run a mile. Let's do one mile, which is a lot if you haven't run. A mile is a lot.

If you do not run, a mile is a lot. But you can't just run a marathon. And if you're gonna do Jiu Jitsu, start slow. Don't try to do a two and a half hour session I'm gonna roll with five guys today like did did did did did did learn an arm bar Okay, this is a triangle I told them like give me the most beginner thing Oh, yeah, they have to do it that way. Everyone's gonna do it that way Nobody teaches you like flying triangles the moment you get into the class

They teach you beginner stuff like this is the mount, this is side control, this is the guard. They teach you simple basics. It's good for confidence too, I hear. Oh yeah. You can fight. It'll help a lot, it does. But it also is great for stress relief.

Because no matter what your day is, it will never be as stressful as some dude mounting you trying to choke you unconscious. Because if you fight that off and then you're done with your class, regular stuff is like whatever, man. Some crazy homeless guy, man, fuck you. You're like, fuck you too, bye, take care.

You don't even wanna be in any, you don't have this desire to puff your chest out like a lot of people do, it's like stop. Now you're proud of me for doing this. Now you're about to be not proud of me, ready? Okay, this of people do. It's like stop. Now you're proud of me for doing this. Now you're about to be not proud of me. Ready? Okay, this is another thing. It's girls class. It's all women's TGC.

I would not even want that. I'm gonna dye my hair blue. I don't wanna get boners when I'm like, I would not want that. You're a woman. You're not gonna get a boner. No, if I'm there. You're a woman, Kyle.

Don't let anybody ever tell you different. Thank you so much for not misidentifying me. Don't let anyone deny your humanity. I'm a man. Now what am I gonna get upset about? I'm also taking a pickleball class. I like pickleball. You know who plays pickleball every day?

Wait, only guess, 20 questions. It's the only time I ever let you guess. Every time I jump in. I'm gonna say... Uh... Duncan Trussell takes pickleball. He might, but that's not who I was thinking of. Kid Rock! Plays pickleball every day. I love any kind of like racquetball sport.

He goes, yeah, I get up at 8 o'clock in the morning, my fucking trainer comes over to play pickleball, I'm like, every day? He's like, every day, I love it. I want that kind of money where I can just pay out and come over and play pickleball. Yeah, but he's a trainer, he's got a trainer. Probably teaching him, I bet he's a pickleball wizard now. He probably knows how to do the secret moves,

slice the ball. I'll destroy Kid Rock at pickleball. You think so? I'll destroy that guy. Let's set it up. He's a clown. Whoa. Kid Rock is a clown.

I can't believe you're calling him out like this on my show. Dude, I'm just saying, I don't think he's got it in him. He brought Bill Maher to the White House. I have that underwear on. He brought Bill Maher to the White House and they had dinner with the president. Are we in like a Mad Libs episode with the-

I hope so, I hope so. I'm scared of this tariff stuff because it's radical change. I'm scared of radical change. Well, let me tell you what I think and I don't know anything. Good, we don't, both of us don't know. This is a perfect time to speculate about the economy. This is all his negotiating. It's gonna come down It's not it's not gonna stay like this. The bad thing will be is if all the other countries go fuck you America

We're not gonna do any we're not gonna do is possibility and then that's a problem I think it's always a possibility Also, you're not nearly as charming if people can't speak your language like Trump is used to being able to charm people Yeah, it's very charming. But if you can't speak his language, you're like, fuck this orange asshole. You know what I mean? Like, I don't even know this guy. What is he saying?

And someone has to tell you what he said? Like, it's not cute when Boris Jovenevich has to translate in your ear. Mr. Putin, he says, these tariffs, this is bullshit, it's part of the game. He says it's the most terrific thing. It's part of the game. He says it's the most terrific thing. It's part of the card game. We are playing altogether globally.

It's like, you know, one of the girls from Poland, she's like, oh, you're committing a terrible joke. And you're like, no, you're not gonna find this funny. I can't tell you a joke. Terrible joke. Let me tell you first about the history of my country and suffering. Let me tell you how many people stall and starve to death

and then you tell me your cute little fucking joke. In my village, yeah, I've had that happen to me recently. I was like, I'm not telling you, it's not gonna go well. Yeah, that's a tough one. When people ask me if they don't know who I am genuinely, the easiest one to say is I do commentary for the UFC. Oh, that's good. That's one. That's the best podcast. Well, people know you now. I love the easiest one to say is I do commentary for the UFC That's if I say podcast well people know you now I mean I some people don't know me it's nice every now and then I get a person doesn't know who I am

Like some old fella. Oh an old fella. What do you do? Yeah, what do you do Sean? I do commentary for the ultimate fighting championship and then they look at you sideways like what that's that's still though could be a conversation Here's what I do on like a. I go, I work with computers. And they're like, oh. Ooh, that's good. That always shuts it down. Finances, too.

Yeah, but if I wanna have a conversation with someone, if I don't mind having a conversation with them, I just don't wanna explain the whole thing. I forget you do UFC commentary. That's another great job. That's a job. That's the only job. You have all the great jobs. I have all the great jobs.

But that's the only job I have. That's an actual job where someone pays me. Like I show up, I work for somebody, I'm an employee, and I sign up. Is there something you wanna do that you haven't done? Are you looking? No, I'm not looking to do anything. Do you have a goal?

No, zero goals. Zero goal, what about retiring and traveling the world? Retirement, ideas, no. Pyramids, you ever see those? I wanna see the pyramids. I do too, but I think what's gonna happen is you go, oh, there they are, and now you're like- I don't think so.

20 hour- I've been obsessed with the pyramids since I was like a little boy. Can you go in them now at all? Yes, you can go in. You can? Yeah, you can go in them. Okay. And if I went, I'd hopefully be able to get someone to guide me, like a really good person. I could guide you. You know what I'm doing?

Could you do it as Caitlyn Jenner though? Yeah, baby. This is where the guy died. You meant to be filming that? Yeah. He was buried with his dog. Have you seen this whole controversy that they think that there's like these enormous structures?

What is that? This is... I don't know, but there's a guy named Jimmy Corsetti. He has this great YouTube show called Bright Insight. He's been on my show many times. Very smart guy and very reasonable guy and also is a huge believer that there's a missing chapter in ancient history. He doesn't believe in it. He thinks it ignores something that everyone knows. There's this enormous water table that's underneath the pyramids. So the pyramids, there's water

underneath the pyramids and Mr. Beast apparently on his YouTube thing that he did with the pyramids went into the water. So they were all in the water splashing around the water. So this water table. Yeah, so underneath the pyramids, there's water that flows. That seems unstable to me in my engineering mind. To talk to you before they built that 5,000 years ago. Was it five, 10?

It's probably more. It's probably a lot more. If I had to guess, I think they're wrong. I think the hieroglyphs that are on the wall that depict pharaohs leading back to 30,000 plus years, it's probably accurate. I really wanna know how they built those. I really, I think that's,

those, you see some of those stones are so, I don't believe aliens, right? I don't believe that happened. I think people's a, you see some of those stones are so, I don't believe aliens or I don't believe that happened. I think people built that. But how did they get some of those stones up there? Well, I was watching this guy. Here's the answer. I'll tell you who this guy is, because shout out to him,

because he had a very interesting take on it. I watch a lot of these silly YouTube videos that are in like ancient history and ancient civilizations and stuff like that But this one was really kind of interesting fat people falling down and this guy is Also to Jamie his name is Michael Button and he had a very good point And his point is that there's this linear path between like cave person and what we are today. But he's saying, but human beings in the form

that we exist in today have essentially been around for at least 315,000 years. And there's all these large rise, like peaks and dips in the historical timeline of the temperature of the earth. And in these peaks of temperature, you have all this growth and change, and then you have ice ages and you have drop-offs, and then there's cataclysms and natural disasters, and he brings up the volcano eruption, the Toba volcano eruption. But what he's essentially saying is human beings in this form, with the minds that we

have, have existed for 300,000 years with the capacity. But yet only over the last few thousand years have we seen all this progress. And he thinks, what he's proposing is if there was a super advanced civilization 100,000 years ago, there would be almost nothing left. So we're supposing that what we find is all that's ever been. What he's saying is, if you imagine 200,000 years of development of technology, of tools, of agriculture, all the different things that could have happened in those 200,000 years.

That you could have had an insanely advanced society, 200,000 years ago, and then it gets completely wiped out, then 115 to 150, depending on who you ask, thousand years later, you start seeing what we've seen in the last few hundred years. Okay, I'm gonna push back on that. Wouldn't they have some metal? No, all they would have.

But this is what he's talking about. When you have enormous spans of time, all you have left is stone. You have rocks. Where does the steel go? Just disintegrates. It all goes away. It all just gets absorbed by the earth. There's very little metal

that is gonna, like any forge, like if you have a knife, and you leave that knife under the ground, just the earth will erode it, you know, a few thousand years, it's gone. Just, yeah. So they probably had combustion engines and stuff? Here, look, steel takes probably 50 to 500 years

to decompose, depending on the type of environmental conditions, with stainless steel potentially taking over a thousand years. So just imagine something that's a hundred thousand years old. You got nothing. There's nothing left. And he so he makes this very interesting argument in this video that I never considered before. It's just the timeline of human beings being human beings. And he's like, what was it, why was there this great leap in technology? And it is completely possible that there was great leaps hundreds of thousands

of years ago. But then the question is like, what happened to us? How did we get so far ahead of all these other creatures? How did we get so far ahead? You talk about like, we're like this, this much smarter than a monkey. I mean- Oh, we have most genes.

Most of our genes are chimpanzee genes. Most of them. What are the things under the pyramids or pillars? What does that mean? I don't know what they're seeing. See, it's some sort of satellite ground penetrating. Is it a radar, a type of radar? Jamie?

What are they calling it? Oh my of radar Jamie what are they calling my Jamie so they they have these images he's a the problem is also these guys are Italian so they're saying in Italian and so I don't know exactly what they're saying I'm just reading the translation I want to hear their voice I want to hear if they sound wacky everybody is a token in Italian sounds beautiful but you could say nonsense shit with an Italian accent it sounds incredible yeah because I don't speak Italian Oh, you know beautiful language beautiful language

So these images that show these feet look if it's real and that stuff is under the water table That's actually even fucking crazy Explain the collected acoustics from deep in the ground including seismic waves noise from human activity and photon in the ground, including seismic waves, noise from human activity, and photon interactions to map newly found shafts and chambers that extend more than 2,000 feet below the surface. Biondi said these waves were collected by radar, specifically by analyzing Doppler centroid abnormalities, shifts or distortions in frequency patterns used to detect underground structures or changes. However, Professor Lawrence Conyers,

a radar expert at University of Denver, who specializes in archaeology and was not involved in the study, still raised doubts. He said, photon interactions, this is science fiction, and frequency shifts of what? He said, we now have three different energy sources moving around radar, electromagnetic sound, seismic, and light photons photons this is all gobbly gook sounds like he didn't get invited to the party hmm i heard that guy's a furry i made that up i'm sorry sir um but show me the images of what they they believe that they've found because this is it's if it is a real thing if you really do have these i mean the 3d images like they really stepped down the line and drawing it so I mean so clearly yeah like that's not what you

see you're you're honeydicking me but I got a dig but if it is under the water table that's even crazier so if they're using the water if the pyramid there's a guy named Christopher Dunn that believes that the pyramid is a gigantic electrical power plant oh yeah like a Tesla coil kind of thing. Yeah. And the needles. So if they're using the water for energy and they actually have these columns that extend into the water, that's even crazier.

That's an even more advanced civilization than just building these columns. Well, we gotta dig. Why don't we dig? Start digging there. Me and you. Me and you. Get down there. How many shovels do you think we need? Should we be safe? Four?

Yeah, definitely get four for sure. Jamie's back goes out if he digs all day though. Jamie's got a, that golf swing's gonna hurt his back. I'm a little worried about that. This is a serious golf swing. You're a little jealous, right? You're a little jealous. I heard a nice pop. You're a little jealous.

I felt it from you. I heard a little jealous, definitely jealous of his a little jealous. You're a little jealous. I heard a nice pop. You're a little jealous. I felt it from you. I heard a little jealous. Definitely jealous of his equipment. You heard that whack and you're like, ooh, that's going far. What's your handicap, Jamie? I think people wanna know.

Yeah, I mean, what was yours when you were playing all the time? Oh, he diverted you. I won the- Turned the question around on you. I know. I don't wanna be judged by a guy that's really good. First of all, I know it seems like I've bragged a lot

on this show, but this is a fact. I was the Ashton Valley Country Club junior golf champion So you're probably three or four when you're there maybe better even now there was not a thought there things like five kids in the Now I'll shoot like a 95 I was probably like 80 when I was a kid I'll shoot like a 95 I was probably like 80 when I was a kid That's uh like eight ish 85 Maybe 10 10 handicap is that good Jamie? Yeah, that's really good. What's your eye? I believe it's 20 20 Jamie's got a line drive that'll fuck you up though. No, I know I heard a thwack in that room

What's the furthest you've ever driven the ball Jamie? I? Said that wind conditions coming to play there Joe right no no no no I go for ball I'm going for ball speed right now. I think and I've gotten over 160 before But that's only like one part of the equation is that world-class. Oh, it's pretty high. That's fast as fuck 160 miles an hour that's crazy Like most people who play golf don't break a hundred so like you're already in the top five But that's what you're obsessed with right sure I was just trying to beat my friends really You play for money go

I mean if I go with most people here, they're only playing for money. So so fun Yeah, I can't get addicted you never you just didn't like off. No, I never. Yeah, a lot. I can't get addicted to that game. You never, you just didn't like golf? No, I never played it. You've never tried it? No. What do you mean? I never played it. How could you not even try it?

Cause I'm scared of games. I get addicted to games. I don't have any time. I have my life in a good- You're scared of games. This is a big thing you're admitting now. No, legitimately. What, chess? Do you play chess?

I love chess. No, that's the same thing. No one will play with me. Are you that good? Cause you're on the spectrum. I'm probably real good at it. Lately I've been playing a lot online, I play, but it's like, I want to play. Come to the mothership.

Tony plays all the time. He does? Yeah, Tony and Brian Simpson, they play all the time. Tony's pretty good. Oh, I'd love to play. Tony's a smart fucker. Yeah, gotta be. He's a smart fucker.

He's good at chess. He's probably a little spectrum, me himself. Yeah, we're all spectruming. Little bit. Yeah, to be that quick with, gross. But I feel about chess the same way. Chess maybe even more so, because I could play on my computer anytime I want.

I can't do that. I can't have that in my life. Why not? I mean, listen, golf is such a great. Listen, I know I would love it. Everyone, Ron White loves it. Jamie loves it. Tony loves it. They love it. Tony just started playing when he moved to Austin. He fucking loves golf. I fucking love it. Everyone, Ron White loves it. Jamie loves it. Tony loves it.

They love it. Tony just started playing when he moved to Austin. He fucking loves golf. I fucking love golf. I don't play much at all, but you're just afraid that you're gonna get too into it. That's what it sounds like. Oh, a hundred percent.

Yeah. I have like a little switch that goes off and then I become obsessed with things. That's how you get stuff done. Well, it's most of it is a game right now that I have it with its pool. I play pool pretty well I played you don't remember this but I played pool with you at your old studio and I don't think I hit any balls I think you just went and you played pool. I just ran out and you're just like we're done Your games over I was like, oh that was fun. That's the fucked up thing about pool

I have a guy breaks first. He could just break and run out. Yeah ten racks a row. You're rude of you I was a guest. I'm rude I won't let anybody win you like two balls up. I had all my balls nothing You could be like here, you know, just miss a little bit. Let me go. You don't want that in your life No, I do. That's all you know is younger. I cheating. You should have a boxing match like that old guy had. I've hit my head so many times. Hire some kid to fucking take a beating. That guy didn't have any fear

that he was gonna get punched back. Did you notice? That was way, it was like poorly rigged. There's some good fake fights online. There's this one guy who's a politician in Mexico and he got like fake muscles. So he had like those fake muscles and then he had a fake fight with the fake muscles And it's like a super obvious fake fight you watch like what the fuck am I looking at?

This is nuts. I mean that giant bicep weird like bulging like their oil They they shove oil into their skin and it makes you're like how does that? How bad does that feel? And they forget to do their legs. It just looks so weird. You gotta balance that out. Well, people get their legs oiled up, too. I'm gonna get oiled up and I'm gonna get huge.

I'm gonna do jiu-jitsu. The whole, my life, from here on in, my life is gonna change. This is a good place to do that. Then you need to move here. A lot of jiu-jitsu here, too. I'm gonna be out here a lot, I think. I really do think I will be out here a lot. I think I really do think I will be out here a lot

I'm already out here four times in the past three months. I know that's what I'm saying. Just get a fucking place No one loves me in New York. I know no one loves me. That's we love you here. I mean I do feel more welcomed here So yeah, there's golf golf can get me out here if Tony plays golf. Oh, they all play golf. Everybody plays golf out here All right, you're in I've to the bathroom so bad. Let's wrap this bitch up. I Can't concentrate I can see it in your face a piece so bad. I know it's the worst you can't form sentences Okay, I'll go wrap it up. Tell everybody how they can find my crypto coin No, how they come on my tour Boston Vermont Philly Vegas

And Instagram there it is live date. I don't know what that's with that. That's your oh, that's my flame So that's Elon's not a flamethrower. Yeah Yeah, okay, um and your Instagram is Kyle Instagram is Cal Donnie and one and you may or may not be the star of Monday night's kill Tony They're may not you know ladies and gentlemen Cal Donagon. Thank you