The Joe Rogan Experience - #2302 - Ron White

Episode Date: April 9, 2025

Ron White is a stand-up comic, actor, and author. www.tatersalad.com Get anything delivered on Uber Eats.  This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/JRE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience. Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. We up? Hey, you fella, we're up. What's going on, Ronway? I'm feeling good, finally, after my little bout with fucking COVID. They gotcha. They gotcha with the new COVID.

They got me with the new COVID, They got me with the new COVID. I thought the new COVID was total bullshit. I thought it was like a baby cold. I had, you know, my girlfriend raised two kids and she said she's never seen anybody puke as much as I did for two days. Wow. And it was brutal. It was just bile and I don't even know if I ever Have ever been that sick. You know, we got asked at that part of it a couple of days That's interesting. I wonder if you got multiple things at the same time

Do people usually puke a lot if they get COVID Jamie, do you know? I don't remember having that either. You might have had a couple things, you know Bad flu going around too. Well, I went to Vegas early and I just thought I had a cold when I went. My doctor here gave me a shot of steroids and I felt way fucking better. I mean, I felt better everywhere. I was more flexible. I was like fuck. I want to do steroids every god I was it. I don't know but whatever it was man. I could touch the floor Without bending my knees without stretching at all like I court is on shot. I don't know

She said steroids she gave it to me. I don't ask a lot of questions, you know, so you just felt loose I felt loose and good. I played really good golf and then I got there and it started catching up with me I had my girlfriend. I'm staying in the mansion down at you know, that's MGM grand, which is pretty sweet and And I had that show just on Saturday when we got there on Wednesday and I'm like fucking I'm not gonna make it I felt it all started deteriorate. So I called his dog. It was so bad. You didn't think you were gonna make it on Saturday I didn't I didn't I thought thought I would need another shot of steroids. That's so I called a doctor. I had the hotel call a doctor. And I thought I was getting the doctor that was, you know, whatever it takes to get through the show. Right. And, you know, but that's not the

doctor I got. The doctor I got was we needed let's test you for COVID I'm like, no, no, I don't have COVID. He said I won't charge you if it's negative Which didn't make any sense to me And I said well, okay And then it came up positive for COVID and he said see there the T and the X and the thing and I said Yeah, I see it. Let's do it again Because I don't think I have COVID. So we did it again, came up positive again.

Not only would he not give me the COVID shot, he told me to quit taking the antibiotics I was already on. And he did nothing except for called the CDC to tell them I had COVID. And they both said, you cannot do the show. I'm like, wait a minute said you cannot do the show. I'm like wait a minute you're the wrong doctor. I don't want to fucking retire today shit. I want to hear your drummer's a junkie he's out of heroin get him some fucking something to get him through this guy's show.

So they were telling you you can't do the show because you had a specific kind of a cold a COVID cold. So if you had the flu, would he have stopped you from doing the show? I'd say absolutely not. That's so weird. I don't think it would even come up. That's so weird because right now, like the deaths from COVID now are so low. Like the idea that this is still a pandemic and they still have to treat it differently than they do a cold. They do. Why? Well, you know, I was faced with, do I cancel a show? Well that's not the same as St. Louis when they just move the date and the people from

St. Louis come back out. This is Las Vegas. Right. A lot of those people come specifically to see me because I don't do all those shows that I used to do. So it's kind of, if you want to come see it and that's a good place. And so it's a problem. You know, it's a refund. You got to refund them all because those people are going to be there.

Most importantly, your fans are bummed out. Yeah, my I've disappointed them. Everybody's here. Fuck, let's do the show. So I just said I didn't know what to do. So I'm like, well, I'm just going to call him, Jim Grant, and tell him what the fuck's going on. Let it be their call, you know. And they're like, so how do you feel? I'm like, I feel like I can make it through the show. And they're like, well, I say, let's just go ahead and do it. You know, it's a big room. You're not

within six feet of anybody. It's 2025. It's 2025. If you told me you had you did tell me you had COVID. And I gave you a big hug on Monday. I saw you on Monday. Yeah. When we did Kill Tony. Right, and I was fine. You were a super spreader on Kill Tony. You son of a bitch.

Big time, I'm an asshole. The biggest asshole ever. It would be horrible. Nobody got sick! I know, nobody did. Nobody got sick. It's fucking... And it wasn't until the next day that I got sick.

That's when the vomiting started. wasn't in Vegas. It was Day two. It was Tuesday after kill Tony. That's when I got sick and And it was fucking awful. I mean two days just off. Did you get another steroid shot? No, nobody would give me one. So I don't know, man. I just got the wrong goddamn. You gotta go to Gold's gym. Right. Find the biggest guy in the room.

Say, who's your doctor? Dude, you got something, don't you? You know you got something, bro. Come on, man. Aren't you a Ron White fan? Give me some fucking steroids. Just to get me around the corner. So I'm back.

I feel fine today. That's good. Good to see you back. Really good news. You coming to the club tonight? You know, they asked me to. I don't know who's got the set tonight. I don't know who's got the show.

We do. Fuck it. Let's go. OK, let's go. I'll go. Let's go, Ron White. Plus, bottom of the barrels tonight, too. The Kill Tony was on Netflix last night. Isn't that amazing? I'm so happy.

I'm so happy for Tony and Red Band and for everybody on the show. I'm just so happy that that show is now on Netflix. It's sweet, you know. I always believed in it and you know that and I always saw something in Tony. I was never sure what exactly it was But I saw something you know that this kid works hard You know he's got a dream that he's fucking making it work, and he's making it work with hard work He works hard. He works really hard at that show man really does I mean I call him in the middle of the day sometimes And he's just laying out like how he's gonna do the show what he's got. He's like. He's planning it He's wandering around his apartment writing notes down just planning it out in his head. He's legit

This is the thing about success. It's a product of hard work and in that example I fucking know it's a product of hard work those guys did that show every goddamn Monday for 10 plus years Starting with six people in the crowd. I was one of them This episode is brought to you by Squarespace when it came time to make a website There was no question that we would power it with Squarespace from the intuitive design Intelligence that helps to create a bespoke digital identity to the seamless payment options That can help give your customers more ways to pay or the fact that you can measure

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to save 10% off your first website or domain purchase. They were there when they were doing the Belly Room show, but I always encouraged it. I encourage people to do shows when no one's watching because I think that the only way something builds is you got to get it started. You can't think you're going to launch a podcast and it's going to have a million downloads. It's not that way. And you don't want it that way anyway. You want to get good at it. You want to learn how to do it. You want to iron out the kinks. I agree. I agree.

And they did it. They fucking did it. They did it. And now it's one of the best shows in the world. It's the funniest fucking show on television for sure. You know, as far as just a fucking entertaining thing to goddamn do I mean just to come down, you know, my my last girlfriend was so addicted to the show She would come almost every Monday and it's hard for me to go down there on kill Tony night because they got the you know the green rooms hocked out to 19,000 people and there's no place for me to go right and So, you know, but but she was addicted to it. I mean, just as something fun to do, you know?

It's a fun thing to do, man. Because you're gonna get some great comics. And it doesn't matter if the comic eats it on stage because it's still funny. You know, that's not the point. The point is that everybody has access, you know, in some way, and there's no shortcut to get there because I tried to shortcut it

because I thought I could because I was Ron White. And my banker said, yeah, I've been doing standup and I'd love to get up, no problem, I'll tell him. I'll fix this for you. And he was like, yeah, no, you can't, it's a bucket pull. That's the only way he can do it is to get his name in there. It's a legit bucket pull. It really is. And sometimes one of our guys gets in like a song's been on a couple of times now, you know, and sometimes not. You put your name in the bucket.

We'll see. There's hundreds of names in that bucket. It's a great idea. It's a great idea. It really is. And it's inclusive to anybody. I mean it's amazing to me who he saw, had the vision to put anybody, anybody, no matter what kind of physical shape they think of. You can't even say a word. And handicapped on top of that. And you know. All you have to do is just give it a go. Give it a go. Give it a go. Try to be funny. Do your best.

Just do your best. There's a lot of people doing their best. I'm thrilled for the success of it. It's incredible. Yeah, it really is. It's fun too. It's like it makes everything more fun. When there's a fun thing like that out there in the world, more of us have fun. We have more fun at the clubs. We have more fun talking about comedy. Yeah, and it made me really proud too, just to walk out on stage and it's you and Shane and Segura and Tony. And these are my friends. These are my buddies. This is my tribe right here and we're doing something really special and it's

a fucking hoot. It is a fucking hoot. It's a fucking hoot. Yeah, and that club is the best place for it. I had a nightmare the other night. Oh no. Yeah, and it was about the club. I was the headliner that night and I got down there and there were like nine 11-year-old

girls and that's all the tickets we could sell. And I was like, did you tell them I was coming? Yeah, we put it in the thing and nobody showed up, Ron, except for these chicks. If I was your psychiatrist, I'd sit down and go, Ron, what do you think this means to you? What inside of your subconscious makes you think that only 11 year old girls would come to see you do comedies? That's because for 38 years I've been waiting for the end, you know, and it finally happened that night in the middle of that dream.

See, I knew it would happen. I think like that and it drives me crazy. I don't understand how you can think like that. I just always have because I I you know, it never works As good as it works for me, you know, I mean it's worked Okay for you, but I mean, you know these kind of careers don't last forever And don't unless they do and there's not very many of them that do you know last fucking four decades? It's a different world now Ron. I think they do last now. I guess so.

I think the thing that was going on before was everybody thought you did comedy to get to something. You did comedy to get to the movies. You did comedy to get to TV. And if you didn't, then you were a failure. And you thought of yourself as a failure and other people thought of you as a failure too. And that would diminish your confidence, that would diminish your draw, and only a few people survived that and escaped. And a lot of great comics, like Richard Jennings for instance, he got caught up in that and felt like he was a failure and a loser and wound up fucking killing himself. Meanwhile, he was one of the greatest comics that ever lived.

He just missed the boat. He missed the internet boat. He would have been fucking... Yeah, but I missed it too. You didn't though, but you didn't. He missed the internet boat. He would have been yeah, I missed it, too You didn't though, but you didn't he didn't miss it. You didn't you caught us. You caught the whole way brother And it's great for all of us We all know each other. It's great for all of us There's no more, you know waves like in terms of like your career is gonna die off Your career is dependent entirely on your work and your work's never been better. No, I don't think it has it's never been better

You're on fire right now. You were killing it the other night We were in the green room and we're watching for the balcony fucking howling. It's great. It's great There's no reason it shouldn't be great like you've been doing it forever you love doing it you're passionate about it you work hard you're always writing of course it's great and it's and it's fun you know the best it's there I don't think there's any environment that's more conducive to getting chops, that really is a gym to me. And everybody there is just getting better.

It's that fucking stage time. There's no fucking substitute for stage time. No substitute. Stage time and a good tribe. Yeah, you gotta have that. Because everybody's killing it. Like when I see Hasan up there killing it, I'm like, ooh, let's go. I get excited. Everybody's coming. It's come see a son up there killing it. I'm like, whoa, let's go I get excited

Everybody's come a long way a long way and you see these guys like Ari Matty these young guys coming up You see all these people and you can't Patterson on kill Tony Monday night was on fire On fire you see the growth you see these guys emerging and you're like, this is incredible We're in a we're so lucky. We're in the like the we have the luckiest job and the luckiest place in the world. I think so, man. And if I was a young comic now, I would go to Austin, Texas. 100%. And find, because there's just all that stage time. And you don't actually automatically get to go to the mothership, but that can be your goal.

You can get in there, man. You can get in there if you're good. You can get in there if you're good. There's a lot of guys get in there. A lot of women get in there man, you can get in there if you're good. You can get in there if you're good. There's a lot of guys get in there. All you have to do, a lot of women get in there, a lot of non-binary people. All you have to do is just be good. There's showcases all the time, Adam's picking people all the time, people see you if you're funny. Your shit's on the internet. It's like the path has never been clear now for a young comic.

I mean when I was young, starting out, I was like how do you do this? How do you get on stage? How do you get a manager? How do you get paid? How do you do? Right. You know, now it's like it's kind of laid out. It is. And there are people also hanging around like me that have been through all this stuff before, you know, the growth spot to know how to get better, you know, because I was like you, there was no direction, there was nobody giving advice to get better, you know, because I was like you there was no direction There was nobody giving advice. There was you know, you just looked at it and went oh Okay I'll try this. Yeah, let's see and

Well, you made it late in life too You know, that's probably why you have this thing in your head because like when did blue collar was like how old were you? When that that tour kicked off 45? Yeah, see that's that's that's why that's the thing. You know who else had that same sort of feel Phil Hartman Phil Hartman didn't get on Saturday Night Live didn't think he was 36. Those his first break 36 mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Now did he do stand-up also or is he was going to he would do some stand-up to warm up the crowd sometimes Okay, and he would fuck around and he and I talked about it

And I said anytime you want to do it I go I'll take you to the store I go you you can get on stage list I go you don't need a lot of time You just like put together five minutes. I hope you I know you could do it And he had some really funny impressions. He had a really funny Bill Clinton impression, right? He was a funny fucking dude and a hard worker You want to talk about a hard worker that dude used to make me Everybody felt like they weren't a professional when they were on that guy So you'd have like tabs and shit a notebook where all the scenes were everything was organized Yeah, I already feel unprofessional.

While he was doing that, he was also trying to take his pilot's license in between scenes, be reading airplane books. Jesus Christ, what a fucking tragedy, man. What a fucking tragedy. Oh, bro, you don't know the half of it. I tried to get him to divorce her a long time ago. I told him like right when he was struggling, I said man, just give her half just get out. You'll make more money And he was like a white son half. It's a scam

The lawyers get a third. Yeah, it's a third you get a third of your fucking money. Okay, okay Okay, just give her the money Give her the money money is fun coupons, right? If you're having money and you're not having fun, then what do you got? You gotta cut something off. You know, you gotta figure out what, where's the cancer? Hack it off. Hack off that melanoma and let's get this party rolling. Like you shouldn't be involved with someone that you hate. That's crazy. You come home to someone who hates you. That's crazy. That is insane. That's crazy. And I've been in bad relationships before that I cut off.

Of course. And then all of a sudden you can breathe again. You're a different person when you're in a bad relationship. Like you're bad too. Like you're not your best. Just like a bad friendship. Like you're not the best friend if your friend is a cocksucker. You know, you're good friends with good friends. Like we all inspire each other. And if you got a one way street or if you are one of those unfortunate people that hooked up with a hot lunatic, because that's the problem. You got a hot lunatic. And they're sexy and

they're fun for short bursts of a few hours at a time. And then you're like, oh my God, this person is in my life. And if you move in with them, oh Christ. I know. And if you have kids with them, oh Christ. And if you're married to them, oh Christ. You married a hot lunatic. The hole gets deeper and deeper and deeper. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. Summer is almost here and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do I mean by almost? Well you can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Catamaran? That's a no.

Lemon meringue? That's a yes. A day in the sun? No. A bottle of rum? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely help you out with that get almost anything Delivered with uber eats order now for alcohol. You must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly Product availability varies by region see app for details. You know, you're Johnny Depp and you're on TV Yeah, and you're in the court with the whole thing falling to pieces the whole thing falling to pieces in front of the whole world because you married a hot lunatic. And that's the thing about symmetry and beauty

and women who are sexy, they just can trick you. And then men are so easily tricked, they're so vulnerable. Oh, I'm the worst. I'm said so easy to lead me down a road, I'll just sniff my way. Oh, this is blessed. I'll just sniff my way. Oh We're gonna elope fuck it. I don't care about my money Yeah, she used to like insult him at parties and shit Phil Hartman's wife

It was really rough. I remember what took him We all went to this party once like some industry type, and she was insulting him and I was like, oh, I just had to bite my tongue, which I'm not very good at, you know? No. And I was like, and then, you know, he and I were in his green, his little dressing room, I was telling him, man, like, there's another way. You know, you're a great guy, like you're a great guy, you're a lot of fun, you'd be a better person if you were with someone better like you'd feel better about yourself

Like you can't be feeling good about yourself fuck now fuck now You got out you know, but he had kids too which complicates the fuck out of everything he had kids with her mm-hmm Yeah, fuck yeah What a horrible fucking story. Did I ever tell you the story about like the worst I ever bombed on stage right after that? Like easily the worst I've ever bombed on stage. Did I ever tell you this story? I've never seen you bomb on stage.

I was at the gas station and I was getting gassed. It was two weeks after he was murdered and it was the first time I was going to go on stage again because I was like, everyone was wrecked. I didn't even know like how long it would take before I felt like I could do comedy again. So I'm at the gas station getting gas and just randomly run into a buddy of mine who's a cop and I go, hey, what's up? What's going on man? He's like, how are you doing? You doing okay? I'm like, man, we're all fucked up, you know? And he goes, did I tell you that I was there? I go, no, you were there?

He goes, dude. What? He goes, I was there when the kids ran from the mom. I go, what do you mean? He's like, after she killed herself, she barricaded herself in the, excuse me, after she killed Phil Hartman, she barricaded herself in the after excuse me after she killed Phil Hartman she barricaded herself in the bathroom and she had the kids in there with her with a gun

and a lot of times when moms kill themselves they'll kill their kids too and the cops saw that and so they kicked open the door and when they kicked open the door the kids ran from the mom the kids ran out of the bathroom and then the mom blew her brains out fuck I forgot about I forgot about that part of it I mean I forgot that she killed herself I'm seeing my friend at the gas station right before I go on stage I'm going on stage in about 45 minutes Jesus Jesus. Yeah. Half hour drive to the comic store. Fifteen minutes before I'm going to go on stage. And this is my face. I'm just like, there's nothing funny in the world.

There's nothing funny in the world. And then after I recovered, you know, I took like another week off. And then I came back and I was like he would just He just wanted me to keep going. I had a dream about him once It was like the most realistic dream i've ever had about anybody in my life ever in my life He was sitting on lawn chair And I ran into him And I was like, what are you? How are you doing? What are you doing? And he's like, oh i'm fine. He goes

Uh, we made up. He goes, it was a lot. He goes, obviously, we had a lot to work out. And he laughed about it. And I said, well, that's great, man. And then he pushed the chair back and he was gone. And then I woke up. was gone. And then I woke up. He was gone. It was the one of the most I've had two very realistic dreams in my life that seemed so realistic. They didn't even make sense. That was one of them, where it was like, I felt like he was there. let it go. It was so weird. I felt like, you know, he wanted, it's like, that's how he was whenever they would fight. Because like,

I'm not, I don't like fights in real, which sounds crazy because I commentate on fights, but I don't like, I don't like conflict. I wish it didn't exist. The reason why I got good at fighting martial arts is because I was scared of conflict.

I don't like it. I understand it, but I don't think it's necessary. And I don't think fighting in a relationship, I think that's the worst. The people that get in these relationships, they scream and yell at each other and call each other horrible names. But with a lot of people, it becomes this cycle of getting mad at each other and then

making up. And then the making up sex is like very addictive to a lot of people. It's like it's a different kind of thing. And you get on this weird roller coaster ride of I hate you, I love you, I hate you, I love you. And he was on that roller coaster ride. And he was letting me know. Like it just went too far. I hate you. I love you. And he was on that roller coaster ride and he was letting me know Like it just went too far. It went crazy

we know I lived in Mexico for a while with a with a woman who eventually took her own life and I mean I was already out of the picture for a couple of years and When that happened, but when I was in Mexico with her I knew That I was I was trapped number but when I was in Mexico with her, I knew that I was trapped. Number one, I moved down there to start a fucking pottery company because I was frustrated with stand-up comedy. The Funny Bone Chain had just cut my pay by a third because they realized that I just worked for them and I couldn't patch this schedule together without them.

And I told the guy that ran the Funny Bone, Gerald Kuback, to go eat a steaming bowl of fuck. I don't even know what that would look like. It cost me a lot of work to say it, but it was still fun to say. But I moved with her down to Mexico and I knew that she was crazy. And the way it came up was she had called a friend of mine and told her that sometimes she stands over my bed with a knife and just stares at me.

And my son was there also part of the time. And I'm like, well, that's over. I got to get out of this. But the big thing was I was depressed because of my situation, because I didn't see a way out of it. You know, I didn't see a way out. I just couldn't see a path. And it got to where, when I was around people, I couldn't talk. And I had no tribe at all. I was cut off from all my

friends and it was just something I did to myself with that move down to Mexico, which I was there for three years. And it was just the worst time of my life. And I really didn't think I'd ever come out of it. I mean, I never thought I could even get back to a place where I could sit down and have a conversation with somebody. That's how depressed I was. And when I, it was funny because I moved into Mexico, I had the biggest truck that Ryder makes, pulling the biggest trailer they make, my van pulling the biggest trailer they make my van pulling the biggest trailer they make all headed down south all your shit to everything moved to Mexico why Mexico because my girlfriend at the time did this mosaic tile application to existing pottery and she

would sell it at art shows or craft shows, you know, whatever. And it would sell really fast, but it took her six months to make any of it. So I thought, why wouldn't you just go down to Mexico and train a bunch of women how to make it and let her orchestrate it? And I fucking did it. I was part of that sucking sound that Ross Perot was talking about going to Mexico. Three years later, I had the exact same equipment headed on north out of Mexico with same exact truck trailer, everything. That was a bad idea. Three years. Wow.

But once I said, oh, she was so hot. Oh, she was so hot. And I'd never been with a hot woman before. I'd never been with... I mean, it was my girl, you know? And she was just so beautiful. I'm like, I'll be with her even though I hate her, just so I can look at her. I just stare at her and that'll be enough. That's all I'll need. Turns out I needed a little more than that. You can only tolerate so much. And then I ended up marrying this other girl that was horrible. I mean, I know she's probably listening to this right now, so I don't mean horrible, but horrible. But she always searched the internet for things about me so she could say, hey, this person

said thanks for signing my girlfriend's tickets. What, are you out there signing girlfriend's tickets? Oh boy. Yeah, I'll sign anybody's ticket, you know, just always looking. Every time she turned on her computer, it made me sick to my stomach because I didn't know what she was going to come up with. You know, I'm no angel anyway. And but so that girl's sister, when she killed herself, sent me a post that my ex-wife found. She printed it saying that she had killed herself. She brought it in

and handed it to me. And all I did was sit down on the couch and she goes Oh now you loved her I'm like just give me a minute. Okay, just give this is her sister doing this. No, this is my wife Oh, she got the note from her She got the letter from her sister and handed it to me and she saw it affected me. Oh now you loved her Jesus Christ. What are you supposed to do? Yeah. A lady that you used to live with killed herself. Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. Just give me a minute. Give me a minute. Yeah, give me a minute. Jesus. It's a human being that you

know that killed themselves. How many people do you think you've known that have killed Oh man, let's see, not very many that I really knew. My best friend, one of my best friends from childhood killed himself, but we thought he died at the massacre in Waco because he was a big Koresh guy. Oh boy, you missed the massacre? Yeah, he missed the massacre, but we thought maybe he's there when it was all going going down but he wasn't and Eventually, it was an odd thing. Anyway, he was He's a dear friend from childhood

His dad was the music director at my church and He and I used to bluff buff the floors of the church for those big bluff That was our job on one day a week that we'd go down there and we had actually seen Neil Young songs to the top of our lungs because We just sing the fuck out of Neil Young sucks, that's the only tape I had, you know I know you and him had a little problem, but I don't have no problem. I know you were so sweet about that I love that guy. I love his music He just said he didn't get it. No he didn't that's always that was a that was a dumb thing

Well, he just missed he didn't understand what's happening and nobody did I don't blame him Nobody did that I talked to him in a heartbeat. Even though he pulled his music and tried to get me removed from Spotify. Right. I still don't care. I love that guy. And I loved his music. Even after he did it, I still listened to his music. He just got, he missed, he didn't know what was happening. He got tricked. A lot of people got tricked. tricked You know a lot of people thought that this was the only way out we had to listen to these evil lying fucks That were telling us that everybody had to take this vaccine

there's no other medicine available and if you didn't everybody was gonna die and You know He got caught up in it. They got us all though. They got the whole country. You can't be mad at the whole country. Right. That's crazy. Right.

I don't want to be mad at anybody anymore, Ron White. I don't either. As I get older, I'm less and less inclined. There's people I don't wish to talk to. Right. I'm like, I don't need that in my life. I don't need whatever you bring in my life, but I don't wish you bad. Yeah, I have really, really healthy boundaries when it comes to people that don't make me feel good. You know, I just don't, I just won't hang around. Yeah.

I don't want to be around and make him front. I'm like, who cares? Good luck to you. I'll give you a hug. I got some other shit going on. Yeah, I have friends, but you know what? I tell you what makes you a good friend. When you get successful, and I'll just talk about successful like I am, it's hard to find anybody that'll disagree with you, you know, that because there's something to gain, and that's true with you too, I mean that you know, you hold a lot of power and you have something a lot of people fucking want and I know that because I Have a I have a box of and I should have brought them in giving them to you anyway

I'll bring them to the club tonight, but it's just a guy I met that owns a sunglass company and he makes sunglasses for hunting anybody and so he said who are sunglasses when they hunt I? Don't know nobody You can't wear them when well, I guess maybe some people probably do I bet rifle hunters do yeah They he said that one of them were specifically for bow hunting that makes you see the target better or something. Oh, interesting Okay, so he's got an invention You know, I don't know I don't hunt so I don't really know anything about hunting in glasses

He just said he's gonna send a box. Would you give him to Joe and I said yeah, I'll give him to him and I didn't so I would think that glasses would get in the way because you know when you shoot with a bow there's a thing called a peep sight. So you have your string and in your string is what one of the things that's sewn into your string is this little plastic circle. Sure. Do you know what it is? Yeah. Okay. So you know it lines up with the scope, the housing of the bow. No, I don't know that. So where the peep site is when you draw back and you don't look through the string, you look to the circle that's on the string, it's sewed into the string. And that circle, you line it up exactly with your site housing.

And so where your pin is, it's all about like staying calm and keeping that pin there and you want to keep it all like connected together. So my eyes like right there like right next to this this this peep site if I had glasses it might get in the way I mean like because the string is touching my nose and the thing is right there and I'm just drawing back and I'm looking at it like that right through I'll give them to you see what you think I don't know anybody who shoot but I knew I know some hunters that have glasses so there must be a way to adjust I don't know I don't to you see what you think. I don't know anybody who shoot but I knew I know some hunters that have glasses So there must be a way to adjust. I don't know. I don't know. That's what you told me though. Okay, I'll try it out All right. I'm open to anything. You never know and anything that makes you good at that. There's that's a fucking difficult thing to do

You know, like I meet a guy and he's like I'm a bow hunter. I'm like, oh, okay Oh anyway, what I'm saying is this That meet a guy and he's like, I'm a bow hunter. I'm like, Oh, okay. Oh, anyway, what I'm saying is this, what I'm saying is this, that you're one of the only friends that I have that'll say, no, that's fucked up, right? You don't agree with me to make me feel better because you have something I have something you need. You'll go ahead and go, nah. Every now and then.

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Well, that green room's great for that. Because everybody knows that everybody loves everybody, so everybody can just talk openly about anything. You know? And if you have some dumb argument with someone, someone will come in and go, eh, I think he's right. Yeah. Yeah.

And you gotta go, oh, really? Okay, let me think about it. You need that in your life. You do? You don't want to be a tyrant. No. You know? And that's what happens to a lot of successful people is they get real insecure, and so they

become kind of a tyrant and they don't want to listen to anybody else You know you see that with people that are like on shows that they run the show It's the show is all about them You know they're the show and they're you know They're the producer and executive producer and the cast all kisses their ass and they're at the top of the fucking Casting call or whatever it is fuck the call sheet Yeah, it's a bad place to be you don't want to be there. Don't do it. Don't do it. You just, you got to resist the urge.

So I went back to my Ayahuasca place down in Costa Rica. So I went four years ago, right? And that's when I quit drinking. Which you know I did, Brian. You know I quit drinking. I quit too. When? A month ago. I knew that you weren't drinking. Yeah, I stopped drinking. I didn't know that it was a

Yeah, I think I'm done. Yeah For no reason other than it's not good for you. Yeah. No, I didn't have to I enjoyed it, right? No, you were having a good time. I was watching but the the days after Drinking were just too rough and I'm like what what kind of a moron who takes so good care of his body is poisoned himself a couple of days a week for fun you know why am I doing that and then I'm like well will I have the same amount of fun if I don't poison myself turns out yes exactly right well there's more than one way to skin a cat I mean you haven't yeah quit everything right exactly yeah and I'm just skinning the cat a different way.

Tell me about your cat. Well, I'm gonna play some Icaros. Did they play those while you went through the... There we go, Jamie's got them already. So what's that? This is the songs that a lot of the shaman like to play while you're tripping balls. Oh, okay.

And if they play this song while you're under the influence, the hallucination will dance to the songs. Oh, wow. There's certain songs you're like, I don't get it. Like the Grateful Dead, I've never been on acid at a dead concert. But they say, if you are, you get it. So like I'm missing that part. Right.

You know? So to me, it's like it's just this jam music, which is fine But I'd rather listen to skinner. Yeah, I saw skinner Monday or Sunday night It was the original skin the real skinner before the plane crash. No, I'm just saying these guys are putting show together I'm sure Ricky Medlock playing Alan Collins is Play they have two other guitar players and but it is a band I mean they are nailing this shit. I had tears coming out my eyes during fucking free bird for a lot of reasons Number one, I saw him in 73

Me and Steve cook who was my best friend all the day he died. And Ronnie Van Zandt was lighting joints and he was handing them out into the crowd. Well me and Steve had worked our way up to the front. He handed one of them to me and everybody else was taking a hit. I just stuck it in my pocket and went to the bathroom and smoked it because it was illegal then. And I was listening to Skinner. Sunday night, I'm at the Skinner show There's cops where I was there was out houses right next to it where you go through this fence And I told my girlfriend I'll be right back. I was over there. I was in the outhouse smoking a joint listening to skin And I'm like well. I haven't changed much in 50 fucking years. You know the exact same thing so

Some some songs people just nail it and it stays great forever. Yeah. You never get tired of Free Bird. But their guitar solo? Yeah and they just fucking hammered it home. I mean it was so good. Oh nice. That it was just I couldn't believe it you know. I brought him on stage at the Greek one time maybe 20 years ago or 15 years ago, I don't know. And it was fun because I got to say that when I was 16 years old, we were at the Skatered Show and we had taken enough mushrooms to kill an average teenager, but we weren't average teenagers.

Ladies and gentlemen, laddered, scattered. It was great fun. That's cool. And so it kind of brought back all those memories, you know, of when in Washington played again. It was kind of, it's weird because, especially when I come back from arrhythmia, which is my place out there,

that I always come back emotional. Right. And kind of full of love and forgiveness and those kinds of things. That's what I learned from those hallucinogens. Isn't it crazy that that's illegal? Yeah, to feel good. You gotta go to another country to be a better person.

You gotta leave the land of the free. Leave the land of freedom to go to another country that's much more lawless and take in the divine and come back a better person. It's crazy and I always say that and I don't think it's for everybody, you know, I'm not somebody out there just going, yeah, you got to do this. Because I think you have to be open to some things. Yeah. You know, you have to be open to, hey, maybe I'm wrong about everything.

You know, maybe there is... If you're not open to it, you'll get hit hard. Well, and that's why it's not for everybody. Because I've seen people wig down there. And which is why, you know, I know you can get ayahuasca locally and have they have, you know, people that are, I don't know where they got their shaman title from, but you can do it here. The internet?

Yeah. But I know that there, you know, it's a licensed medical facility with doctors. It's the only one in the world that's a licensed medical facility. And they're prepared when people wig. You know, they know what to do. They know to hold you down? Yeah, and they do too. They'll fucking bind you up and wait till it's clear because they know that you're at a point in this that you're going through some heavy shit. One of them was an NFL player last time I was there. This guy was fucking huge. He plays for Buffalo. And he just, and I was like, God, if you had to pick somebody to wig, you would say, please don't let it be that fucking dude.

Did he wig? He wigged. Oh no. He wigged big time. Oh no. And started just screaming, get the fuck away from me. Oh no.

Which you know, that kind of, you know, you got 70 people in this room that are tripping and so. Oh no, what a bummer. And it was. And, but, they got big guys too. Oh, there you go. And so they just got him out of the room, got him calmed down, and he didn't leave.

He was going through some shit. The first time I went there, this girl from Japan started kicking and screaming, and they took her outside and they had to fucking subdue her. But at the end of the day, the person with the biggest smile on their face was her. Because she worked through some shit that I can't even talk about, that I happen to know what it was, but it ain't worth knowing.

And, but she found pure fucking joy and peace in her life. And you could see it in her face, you know. And I was wondering why when she was wigging out, why is nobody flipping out but me? Because the people that worked there weren't flipping out at all, because they've seen it. Yeah, there's nothing they haven't seen. There's been 18,000 people through that facility. And so they've seen it all. But they just know how to they know how to handle it. Well, I wonder if you're just in some mansion in Beverly Hills or whatever, if there's somebody there that knows how to handle it. Probably not.

Probably not. Probably not. Especially if you don't know what you're going to get hit with. Yeah. And you need to be in a really safe place where people know how to guide you through it. Yeah. You know, you don't, it's not something I think you want to grab

a handful of and go sit in a fucking closet, you know, and try to figure it out for yourself. That's the real weirdness of any kind of psychedelic journey is that you're probably gonna be going through some shit and someone could either manipulate you during that time or help you during that time. And there are people that either manipulate you during that time or help you during that time. Right. And there are people that will manipulate you. Absolutely. And that's why, you know, that's why I go to this place that's not that easy to go to.

Just because it's so safe. You know, it's just, it's set up perfectly for what they're trying to do. And it was this guy's dream to do that, to make it accessible to regular people. So back then when he opened up, you had to go to a corrugated tin shack in Peru or wherever to get this stuff. And he said, I want to make a place that's safe to go and people feel comfortable. And, you know, so isn't it kind of crazy that that's illegal I mean it's kind of the weirdest thing of all time that we haven't just as a society went okay why are all these people going to these places okay when they come back do they have positive experiences does it help them

yeah a lot of them okay why don't we do that here it should be that simple should be that simple it should be so simple, there was a guy there that was on a scholarship they had for basically wounded warriors that are going through heavy PTSD. There's an organization that's sending guys to arrhythmia. And so I got to talk to him a lot while he was there and he was a psychologist, and he was fucked up. But I kind of got to watch his transformation a little bit, watch this guy's coming around. And I'd seen that, and I'd seen the transformation in myself, where I could just not be so angry, and not hold all this hate that takes so much energy to fucking control and to have

them really show me a way to let all that stuff go, you know, and to be a happier person. You know, and it's hard to, I really don't understand ayahuasca, so it's really hard to explain it to somebody else, you know, but... I don't think anybodyahuasca so it's really hard to explain it to somebody else you know but but I think anybody really understands it yeah right and I know there's some stuff that's stronger than that but I don't know what it's called what Ibogaine you mean is that what it is Ibogaine is the one that people use for addiction there's a place called Beyond that's in Mexico that does that. Rick Perry was telling us about that. A lot of former Governor Rick Perry is a part of that.

He really wants to bring Ibogaine to Texas and have treatment centers. We can't be gambling here. I think they can get Ibogaine. I think especially with a Republican like Rick Perry who's really concerned about the mental health of veterans Because I think that's where it really shines Ibogaine in particular Helps a lot of people Helps a little it gives you like a review of your life. Apparently I've never experienced it But the people that have have very positive things to say about it and it's incredibly good at helping people get over addictions

things to say about it and it's incredibly good at helping people get over addictions. It has a very high success rate for one treatment I think it's in the 80% and then if you do two treatments it's in the mid 90s. That's fucking amazing. Yeah people that never go back to the drugs, never never go back to whatever it is gambling whatever you have whatever is wrong with you. All you got to do is figure out what's wrong with you yeah you got to figure out why you're doing that like what is this pathway that I keep going down that's sabotaging my whole life and why why can I not resist it why do I keep reaching for the bottle what is it why do I keep snorting coke

what is it what is it well that was the question I had with myself, because I drank like a fool for years. You don't say. It was funny because whenever I was single again and I was in the green room and I said, maybe I'll start drinking again. And everybody at one time went, no. No, no, no. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. Well, you quit like that though. You did like, no, no. I was just kidding! I was just kidding. Well, you quit like that, though. You did like, you were gone. I did, but I went to Rhythmia with intention. I wanted to know why I was doing this to myself and why I could not see a way to quit.

And it was so tied up in my persona, my stage presence, who I really was at the time. And I'm like, why is this all tied to me? And why can't I shake it? And so with that, I also went through hypnosis because I had to get sober before I went to, because that's not what their deal is. They're not a treatment facility. It could be a byproduct of it, but they're like, we don't have detox here, so you have to quit some other way. And once you've been sober for a month, you can come down here, which is exactly what I did. I came up with a way to do that through hypnosis, which I thought was pretty effective.

But I got sober once before in one of those rehabs in Malibu for 90 grand, which was, at the time, I was spiraling. I was living in a five-star hotel in Beverly Hills. I was doing a bunch of blow. I was screwing expensive hookers, which was exactly my life plan. I'm like, okay, here it is. And it ended up feeling pretty hollow, and I ended up going there.

And I stayed sober for about maybe six months or something like that, but it was white knuckle the whole fucking time of no fun. But when I did it the way I did it, when I checked into that facility, I got the sweat, night sweats so bad when I quit that they had two beds in the new people's things and I would soak the sheets in one of them and moved to the other bed and soaked the sheets in that one. I was detoxing big time. Never happened this time. I never had a night sweat, never regretted it, never thought about it again, never tempted to drink again. And you know, and I own number one tequila still, and it's there at the green room every night.

And I'm not even, it doesn't even bother me a bit. That's interesting. And that's what the big fear a lot of people have is how will I still be around bars? Right. And you know, and yeah, is it a little awkward at first? Yes. And do I hang out in bars all the time, other than our club? No, I don't. I mean, I'll go listen to music if there's something, but just to go to a bar and hang

out, I just don't do it. Right. And for whatever reason. Well, it's not that much fun being around drunks when you're sober. No, it's really not. You got to be in the vibe of the drunks to appreciate drunk talk. Yeah. When you're sober and someone's drunk and they're telling you some fucking story about their boss being a douchebag. It's like Whoa, right. So and I also have a tendency a Natural tendency to just kind of isolate anyway, you know and so I really That's one of the things I love about the club is it gets me out of the house it gives me to go down there where my friends are and do what I do for a living and

What I do for a living and what I do for fun both I think a lot of people have that problem that isolation problem, you know, yeah. Yeah, because I think that I Think that that people like you and I I think that people like you and I, I think a lot gets dumped on us, you know, because I'm the, of all the friends that I know that I've known for a long time, I'm the only one that has, that's been very successful, not out of my comic friends, but out of my regular friends and it seems like I get, just I have to take in a lot of stuff and I never knew how to get rid of it so I would just get to the point where I was full and I couldn't take anymore and that's when I would isolate myself right too many people want

something too too many people want something that's why I'm gravitate towards you is because I know you don't want jack shit from me except for me to be your buddy and let us be brothers in comedy and whatever. So in life and life and so you know so that's really good for me even today you know that's what gets me out of the house sometimes you know. Oh me too and I love being home I love being home with my family hanging out, but My comedy family. I love being around too. And that's what I feel like I feel like when especially when comics are in town that I don't get to see that often Oh, it's a whole issue. Oh, we all hang out together. It's beautiful

Who are those two actors that were at the club the other day? There was so much fun to have them in there though It was which night fuck. I don't know. We get a lot of visitors. When Woody was there? No. Which him? Will Arnett and Brad Cooper. Yeah, Brad Cooper. Well it was fun to have them in the green room because we all were all around each other all the time. It was fun to have new people in there with stories we've we all we're all around each other all the time It's fun to have a new people in there with the stories. We've never heard Yeah, it was it was cool as shit, you know just to have him hanging out, you know good guys, you know

Woody was it you weren't here when what he was no. Oh my god. He was so much fun. He's so fun Did he do your show? No, I just yeah He did my show and but then this that was nights before that and he just wanted to come to the club. He's been to the club a couple of times now. Harrelson? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, he's just been hanging out.

Fuck, I always wanted to meet that guy. Oh, he's so nice. We just all hung out in the green room and he was just like one of the boys. It was so easy. How fucking cool is that? So cool. So he's so easy to talk to. So like and talks to everybody the same way.

He's like so easy. He's just a genuine dude. He don't even have a phone. You can't even get a hold of him. Really? Yeah, he don't have a phone. Doesn't do email, fuck you. No shit.

He's like a, he's got an assistant that handles everything. Yeah, it's just probably a freeing thing. You know, just be, just stop. Just stop. Leave me alone. Right? Well, I don't answer emails anyway. It's also like, let me know what I actually,

let me think about what I think about things instead of being inundated by all these other people's thoughts constantly all day long, which is valuable. It's good to get other people's perspectives on things. I think it enriches you. But at a certain point in time, become captive to it. And I think there's just too many people that are captive to other people's perspectives on things, I think it enriches you, but at a certain point in time, you become captive to it. And I think there's just too many people that are captive to other people's thoughts. I think so too.

That's why I'm so closed-minded. And I really am. I'm truly closed-minded and I think you're open-minded. I try to be. And I struggle with that because just letting people pour information into my head, you know, I just tend to avoid it. I am engaged, you know, in that I do follow things closely and not the stock market, but everything else.

But, you know, that's been a little bruiser. Don't follow the stock market right now. It's so baffling. It's so crazy. Like, what is going on? The whole world's mad at us. Trump's playing golf. And in between swings, he's on the phone

with presidents of countries. We're going to need more money! Yeah. That's what somebody told me the other day. Is he playing checkers? Is he playing chess? He's playing golf. He's playing golf.

Like, what does that mean? Everybody wants to think there's some like grand plan to it well they think the grand plan is look you know we remember back when the was it the 92 elections when Ross Perot was in mm-hmm so when Ross Perot laid out what happened do you remember during that debate where Ross Perot laid out what happened, do you remember during that debate where Ross Perot laid out? What happened with the tariffs so that like they when we try to sell stuff over there we get a high tariff It's like a 35% tariff, but they don't get tariffs when it comes over here. It's not the same It's not like you know you guys

There's a tax on everybody if you want to sell your goods to encourage people to buy American products If you want to sell your products in America, we get a tax that tax goes to the fucking grid or whatever the hell They're fixing with it, right Rossborough was laying it out. Like this is how all the jobs went to Mexico because Have you ever seen that Jamie? It's it's see if you could find it it's's a great speech because Ross talked about the giant sucking sound Yes, you actually mentioned that earlier in the park. Yes. That's it. That's funny. Did you see that recently or something? No, I just remember it. Oh boy the giant site. He would have been a great president

He was not voted for him. He had big ears, you know He was an independent, and nobody was voting for independent. By the way, they changed the whole way debates work after this, because it used to be if you got 5% of the vote in the primary, that you could be a part of the presidential debates. And that's not the case anymore, it was 5% in a poll. I forget what the number was that you had to reach, but it wasn't a high threshold. And then you could be a part of the debate. And they changed the shit out of that after this because Ross Perot tanked it.

They thought HW was going to go for a second term. Right. And meanwhile, Ross Perot fucked it up because a lot of people that would have voted for Bush voted for Ross and the people that were already going to vote for Clinton voted for Clinton and Clinton won. Bill, play this, Jim. $13, $14 an hour for factory workers. And you can move your factory south of the border,

pay a dollar an hour for labor, hire a young 25, that's assumed you've been in business for a long time, you've got a mature workforce. Pay a dollar an hour for your labor, have no health care, that's the most expensive single element, making a car, have no environmental controls, no pollution controls, and no retirement,

and you don't care about anything but making money, There are no environmental controls, no pollution controls, and no retirement. And you don't care about anything but making money, there will be a giant sucking sound going to you. There it is, right there. That's it. If the people send me to Washington, the first thing I'll do is study that 2,000 page agreement and make sure it's a two-way street. One last point here.

I've called, I decided I was dumb and didn't understand it, so I called the who's who of the folks who've been around it. And and I said why won't everybody go south? They say we'll be disrupted. I said for how long I finally got him up for 12 to 15 years And I said well How does it stop being disrupted and that is when their jobs come up from a dollar now to six dollars an hour and ours go Down to six dollars an hour then it's leveled again, but in the meantime you've wrecked the country with these kinds of deals Jesus Christ, what a fucking smart man. He was right and that's exactly what happened. American manufacturing collapsed. Yeah and they did it all for money and they did it all because

they were greedy. They were already rich. Right. And if we had just gotten those motherfuckers some ayahuasca. Jesus Christ they'd have smoothed the fuck out. They would have said oh okay okay okay. Yeah let's be nice. Let's make America great again. I don't understand the trade war with Canada because have you ever met a Canadian that had $35 in his pocket? No, they're all broke.

They have $22. Really? And they'll buy you a beer. I love Canadians. I've always, yeah, they're broke. They don't have any money up there. How come they don't have any money? Because it's socialism.

I think it's a great place. Don't you love Canada? I love it. Well, they have socialized medicine, but it's a capitalist society. It is, but socialized medicine. It's expensive. What percentage of Canadians pay in taxes? I don't know.

Let's find that out. What is the Canadian tax rate? I know it's higher than Americans. I know, mine's a bitch. And when you go over there, you have to pay taxes too. Like if you do a gig. Yeah, you have to pay taxes. Yeah, you pay Canadian taxes on your gig.

And you get paid in Canadian dollars. I'm not going up there much for shows. But you know. So here it is. Canada's top federal income tax rate is 33%. shows. Yeah. But, you know. So here it is. Canada's top federal income tax rate is 33%. Well, the US is 37%. Right.

However, when combining federal, provincial, state taxes, Canadians often face higher marginal rates across various income levels. That's interesting that there's only 33%. Ours is 37%. I thought ours was lower than theirs. I thought ours was 40. Well it is when you get to a certain tax bracket. Correct.

Isn't it. Ours changes when you get higher. 33 percent on the portion over two hundred forty six thousand dollars. What's a what's ours in terms of like the highest tax bracket. What's the highest U.S. Is it 37? That's what it is What's really crazy to me is when people say the rich should pay more taxes, okay Fine

But where do you think that's going? Where's that going? Where's the money going is the money's going to the federal government? Do you think they're good at it? Do you think they're good at managing your money? Have you paid attention to all the shit Elon's fucking uncovered? 37% is when you make over $609,000 a year. That's you motherfucker. Well, that's me last month.

This is the thing. It's like I'm happy to pay tax if I thought that they were doing a great job. But it's just you are being strong armed into giving money to people that do a really shitty job of protecting your money and investing it in the country. It's a lot of it is going to bureaucracy and bullshit and a bunch of things that you don't have any saying. If you could like opt out of it, if you could like, imagine if you like pick what you, you know, if you had like a whole tax sheet,

what'd you like your money to go to? Would you like your money to go to overthrowing governments? No. Like, what if the federal government's budget was entirely based on the will of the people? Like you get to choose. Like how much of your money you want to put into drone strikes in Yemen?

I say I don't want zero of my money going to that. You know, how much money do you want to go to this or that or clean water? Okay, clean water sounds good. You know, how much infrastructure? Fuck yeah, fix the streets. Well I'm kind of, I agree with you and I've just heard you say this, that everybody should

have access to healthcare and education. 100%. The whole country. The whole country, everybody. We should be a community. That would rise us all up. 100%. Less losers.

That's how you make America great. Less losers. Less people that are saddled down with a lifetime of debt because they broke their leg. That's crazy Yeah, all my you know, all my son's friends are all saddled with $90,000 worth of fucking student loan debt and Subsidized and my son was lucky enough to that. I had enough money to pay for his you know, and and so he doesn't have that burden

But god damn it. Nobody should have that burden if for an education it's just a for-profit institution that roped you into thinking that that was necessary that you have to be and by the way you can get as good an education right now online as is available anywhere on earth if you have the discipline yeah that's what's so wild that's what's so fascinating about this time is that it is basically obsolete And yet people are still paying seventy thousand dollars a year for it and more like what does Harvard cost? How much is hard? What's Harvard's yearly tuition Jamie? What do you guess I was like at least fifty. Yeah at least fifty

I imagine if you're a middle class guy, and you've got two kids, and they do real good, and they don't have scholarships, and you've got to pay for them. I can't imagine. I mean, I don't see how people do it. I mean, I really don't. Oh, boy.

The total cost of attendance, including fees, housing, and food, reaching around $82,000. Undergraduate tuition is $56,550 for a year. That's a lot of money, man. Oof. That's one year. Oof. And if you drop out after one year,

then you have nothing and you're down 80 grand. But if you make it through those four years, now you're 200 grand in the hole that you owe and then you have to get a job and then you get a job that pays 50 and you're like what? Yeah. Oh my god. I'll never pay this off. Right.

I'll never pay this off. And then you have to throw a couple of kids on top of that and. You know something wild there's people out there their social security is getting docked because they owe student loans. So they take money out of your social security to pay for your student loans because the student loans is the one thing you can never escape. You can't bankrupt it. Which is so crazy. It's cruel. It doesn't make any sense. You're saddling an 18 year old with the burden of a lifetime. Harvard were off of free tuition for families earning $200,000 or less a year.

Oh, that's great. To who? That's a new thing. Offering it to who? You can't even get into Harvard. Right, but it's still good. We'll be free for students and families earning $200,000 or less a year.

College announced Monday. Harvard has long sought to open our doors to the most talented students no matter their financial circumstances." That's great. Yeah, it is. That's great. I just don't know if it's necessary. I think it's probably necessary for kids to go to school just to like a passage, a rite of passage, you know? Like I think ceremonies and rites of passages are missing in our society.

Yeah. And especially, I could speak for young men, they don't know when they're a man like am I a man yet? I'm I like there's some Men that you know in their 30s their dad's still yelling at them, right? I mean, it's like when am I when am I a man? When am I an equal? When am I you know? We don't have a ceremony, you know in other tribal societies and all throughout history people have had rituals Rites of passage rituals where people feel like okay We fucking made it, you know, I give a black belt ceremony. You got your black belt. All right, right? I made it You know, I'm in but

You know that so I think there's a benefit in that society But then you kind of like unlearn all this shit. You're fucking crazy professors are telling you you go to college yes I went to UMass Boston oh wow it's good school yeah easy to get into I was I only went because I didn't want people thinking I was a loser that's the only reason why I went I just wasted my time there I went for three years just wasting my time taking class so I could tell people I was going to college oh I didn't waste any time I got kicked out of high school in the 10th grade. So, you know, my mind is an open book there. A lot of the pages aren't filled in. And you

know what? And I always kind of, I regret, I regret that a little bit, you know, that I didn't go to college, that I didn't... What do you regret about it? Well, just... You know, number one, I think I'd be smarter. I don't know what it is. And I've made it just fine with what I've had, you know, and I've got attention deficit disorder and all these things. It really kept me from doing traditional schoolwork

very well. I'm not even sure that's real. Attention deficit disorder? Yeah, I don't think it's real. You don't? No. Let me change your mind. I think there's a lot of people that aren't interested in a lot of things. But when they're

interested in it, when they say attention deficit disorder, why are those guys so good at video games? Like why are they so good at things that aren't school? I think it's just, I think we could categorize it into a bunch of different disorders and problems, but I think a lot of that is a way to get you hooked on some sort of pharmaceutical drug that's gonna fix whatever problem you have that doesn't allow you to sit in class and listen to some boring shit for fucking six

hours. You got no problem writing jokes, Ron White. You got no problem performing. It's not like there's not a thing that you can't excel at that you can pay attention when you're on stage. Well, I don't know about that. I think stand-up comedy was the answer to every problem I had because that, you're just... Because that's what I was good at. You're a comic. You are a comic. Like that's what you're supposed to do. But let me give you

an example. That's my point is that there's a lot of different like functions in society. There's a lot of different roles in society. I think they probably tag ADD to people that don't have it. probably tag ADD to people that don't have it. But I know that I still have it. So if let's say that I was going to put together a ceiling fan and hang it in my roof, which I'm not, I could no more do that than the man in the moon without an Adderall. If I take an Adderall, I'll read the directions, I'll put the whole thing together and hang it on no problem. Without it, I dare at it. I've tried. You're bored. You need excitement. You're a certain type of dude who needs a certain type of stimulation, which is why you like the high wire act of performing live.

I don't think it's a disorder. I think it's a superpower. Ah! I do. Well, I like the sound of that. I do. I think the inability to pay attention to shit that's not interesting is not a disorder. It's just you know what's interesting and what's not.

You know, to this, they're like, maybe I have it too, because this day when I'm talking to someone, they're saying something really boring. I want to run away. Right, you don't hear a word that's coming out of their mouth. I don't hear a word and I just can't. It's like... I just want to get out. I'm the same way. But that doesn't mean I have a disorder.

I don't think I have a disorder, because if I'm talking to you I've got no problem at all. Well, let's get two ceiling fans out here. Yeah, I'm sure I'm not that good at putting together a ceiling fan either. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I could do it. You just follow the directions. Like, you could follow the directions. It's not hard. It's just you wouldn't enjoy it.

But if it was something that you enjoyed doing, like learning how to swing a golf club better, then you could pay attention. Yeah, I do pay attention to that. That's all I'm saying. I think there's roles in this world. There's, and different personalities fit perfectly into mathematics. Different personalities fit perfectly in philosophy.

Different engineering, different personalities. It's like, you just gotta find out what vibes with the way you think, and we all think differently. We all have different backgrounds. we all have different biology. You just gotta find what is the thing that syncs up with the way your mind works. The problem with traditional education is it was designed by the Rockefeller family. The school system in this country was designed to create better factory workers and soldiers and to get them real early.

That's why they want to start you at five because they figured out when you start people at 12 or 13, they already got their ideas of what the world is and how the world works and I'm not fucking shooting somebody for you. So what they do is they get you when you're five and when you're five, they can kind of indoctrinate you, separate you from your parents most of the day while your parents are at work And so that's like most of your day You have other people other than your parents telling you how the world is how the world works What's happening in you know in your life and what you should be doing?

And that's kind of crazy because a lot of those people suck I remember thinking that when I was a kid like thinking that how strange it is that people that I don't respect and I don't enjoy are the ones that are in control of communicating to me most of the day. I remember very clearly thinking that when I was a little kid like 10, 11 years old. Yeah. You know I know that when I was a kid I used to have this this history teacher who was also a PE coach. Now he had something as intriguing as history to teach me, but I could not listen to him talk. So he couldn't even make American history interesting. But a good teacher could have done it. A good teacher could have roped me

in to what was going on and the story of it and how it affects my life and the lives of my parents and my grandparents, how it all went down, you know. That's an interesting story. But if you're a dull fucking assistant coach, basketball, and now you got a fucking one period of history and you have a monotone voice and I'm just bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz It's such a good podcast. And this guy will like lay out the events of World War I in a way that you will hang on every word and you'll park your car. Like if you got to go somewhere, you'll keep your car running because you just want to listen to where this is going. Wow.

Yeah. So if a guy like that was teaching you history. That would have been great. I mean, I think I would have been engaged. You probably would have been a historian. Yeah. Making nothing. Yeah, making nothing. Yeah, I mean, but this, Dan Carlin's doing well.

But that's someone who loves what they do. And that's the difference. School is this weird indoctrination fucking ritual that we all have to go through. And then we all have to feel real bad about ourselves because we don't want to be there and we're not doing good at it. I felt like a fucking complete loser in school. I never felt like I was that I was supposed to be there. I never felt like I was smart, you know, but I remember like like finally when I realized that I was never like what I was going to school for three years when I went to college for three, when I realized that I was never, like, when I was going to school for three years, when I went to college for three years, when I finally was like, what am I

doing? I gotta stop doing this. This is just wasting time. Because that's all I was doing. It's just completely wasting time. It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I could just go, eh, this is not for me. Well, the one thing is I didn't waste that time, you know?

Right. There you go. I did. The but, you know, I think I'd have a better understanding of how the world works if I'd understood world history. Right. You know, I mean, those kinds of things. I just wish I was, you know, I wish I had an education. But what would I do with it? I have no idea. I'd still do stand-up. So yeah, well, hopefully, and I wouldn't be any fucking funny. Imagine if you did. Imagine if you did go down a different road. That would have sucked.

I was before I started doing stand-up, I was a wind salesman. And, and I was broke and I had nothing and I was unimpressive and my in-laws bought us a garage door opener. So I had a garage door opener. Now you're going to think this is really fucking weird. I used to wear that garage door opener on my belt so people would think I had a beeper I just hang it clip it right there. Oh, no about the beeper Yeah, yeah, a lot of people listening right now Like I have no idea what that is Ron and I have been through all the various stages of technological through all the various stages of technological inter- Wizardry. Yeah, but the intertwining in our lives,

the way, you know, the first thing was the beeper. Like you would get a beeper, like my friend Johnny had one. You could page people, you could page him and he would call the number. Yeah. Hey, what's up? Then you'd stop at a phone booth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now what a phone booth is. And you'd have to like put quarters in the phone But and look at the beeper and yeah Hey, what's up? Hey, what's going on? Where you at? And you'd have a conversation with someone that's how you get a hold of them You have to page them right? Yeah, Joey Diaz had a pager forever Joey Diaz had a pager deep into the like maybe the 2000s. Wow. Not kidding. Yeah, definitely in the 90s he had a pager. Because I remember sometimes he would go AWOL and I'd be paged. I'm like, where are you? Like one time we were doing a gig in Jersey, we're

doing rascals in East Orange and he never showed up. And I finally got a hold of on the phone. He's like, I'm not going to gonna lie to your dog I never left Vegas. God damn it Joey. I'll never forget that conversation. I'm not gonna lie to your dog. I never left Vegas. It was just having a good time but that's how you got a hold of him you'd have to page him that was it and then when you got then one day he got a phone and when he got a phone. And when he got a phone, you better not fucking text him. If you text him, he'll yell at you. Like Brian Redband used to text him, he'd go, stop fucking texting me.

And then Joey eventually got an iPhone and Brian got a text from him one day. I'm like, he's texting? He's like, he fucking texted me. Now he'll text you. But he doesn't like to text. How's he doing? He's good. He's coming down soon. He's going to be here in a couple weeks. Good. like he fucking texted me now we'll text you but he doesn't like to text how he's doing he's good yeah he's coming down soon he's gonna be here in a couple weeks good good he um he's gonna be coming real soon right when is here two

weeks okay yeah he would he only wants to talk to you on the phone I go why why do you why don't you like talking to people he goes he goes I'm insecure I want to hear your voice I want to tell you I love you. I'm like, okay, I get it, I get it. He's old school. Yeah, he calls me every once in a while just to say hello. Just to say hi. Yeah, just to say hi. He's like the- Just checking on you.

He might be the number one dude that I just talk to mostly on the phone. Very few text messages between me and Joey. Other than I'll ask him like, hey, is April 22nd good? Yeah, we're good, okay. See you then. So is he gonna just come down to do sets? He's coming down to do sets.

He's getting ready, he's gonna do a special. So he's doing a bunch of shows. He's got a residency, I think he's doing it in Philly. Is he doing it in Philly? We'll find out when he gets here. But he's doing a residency. He's done a few of these residencies where he shows up every weekend.

He shows places. People love him. He opened up for Tom in Madison Square Garden. Tom said when he went on stage they went fucking ape shit. Oh, how cool is that? They went ape shit because they didn't know he was coming. And then all of a sudden, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Joey Diaz. He's like the Snuffleufagus.

He's a mystical creature. Right he is, he is, there's nothing like him. He's a completely unique human being, you know? It was fun to watch him just stomp the fuck out of the fucking room at the store man, he'd just beat the shit out of those crowds. Oh, beat the shit out of those crowds. Some of the sets that I've seen him have in the OR were, I think, I think it's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. I've seen everybody.

I've seen everyone. Great, great, great comedians who I loved to death and I'll watch them every time they perform. But I think Joey hit RPMs that nobody hit. He hit these moments. Oh, I saw him wind them up, man. Just wind them up. It's like when people say, like, who's the funniest guy ever? I'm like, come on, man. I don't, you know, there's guys with great insight, like Patrice had great insight. He was really hilarious, but he also had like great insight Joey Diaz. You ain't getting no insight out of Joey Diaz

No, he's giving you he's rockin sockin robots He's gonna fuck that crowd up He he used to have this bit about Terry Crews Like when Terry Crews. Like when Terry Crews accused some guy of grabbing his dick, you know, and he had this bit about Terry Crews in an underwear commercial. Oh my God. It was so funny. You would be in the back of the room just barely breathe. You couldn't breathe. Everyone, like I was looking around, people are falling out of their chairs. Like they couldn't handle it. And he was on fire, just purple, fucking red

in the face, screaming and yelling. Like, Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. That was just some of the first sets I saw you do with her at the store. And when you were doing that bit where you were standing on top of the stool, I just remember just how just dick slapped those fucking crowds. I'm like, God damn it. He's good at this. It's a fun job, bro. It is the funnest job. We're so lucky. We're so lucky in so many ways. It just doesn't make sense. Yeah. When I think about a life without stand up, it makes me nervous to even think about it. But we almost did it, right?

Yeah. I mean, when we all went through that with COVID, I mean, you were basically saying you were done. I thought it was done. Yeah. I didn't like it anymore. And you were accepted. It was, yeah, I was halfway through every set.

I was, couldn't wait for it to be over. Wow. Couldn't wait for it to be over. Wow and and now I Go on stage and I have this whole new gratitude for these crowds You know that are still there waiting bigger than ever my shows sell out faster than they ever have Not a main And part of it is because there's less of them I guess but also it's because of my friends You know the word gets out. You know, the word gets out. You know, you guys didn't let me die.

Yeah. Yeah, we knew. I mean, I tell everybody, but it's true. Like, you're one of the reasons why we decided to buy a club. Because you grabbed me when you got off stage that first time. You hadn't been on stage in like eight months. and you grabbed me by the shoulders of whatever the fuck we have to do we're gonna keep doing there. Yeah and we did. I'll never forget that moment. I was like okay we're gonna do it. You're gonna get that fucking club open Mike.

We're gonna do it. I was already thinking about doing it very seriously because I realized like early on coming here I was like we need a place. We can't just be working out of these rock and roll clubs. They're not set up right. No. You know? No, there's a difference.

I don't even like to do sets other places. That's really what's wrong with the mothership. It'll spoil your fucking ass with great crowds and perfect acoustics and an amazing sound system. And, you know, just, and then when you move over to another room, which I rarely do, do another set in town, I did one the other couple months ago and I was like, this sucks. If you guys want to find me, I'll be down at some other ship and but yeah we did it Ron yeah we actually did it you know it's interesting when you look back at those conversations we used to have like we're in the Vulcan hanging out in the green

room talking about what the club's gonna be like yeah it seemed like a pipe dream I know a lot of people probably did think it was fake there's a lot of people in LA like Tony used to talk to them all the time. Yeah, when's Joe opening that club? Club's never gonna open. It's all bullshit. You guys moved down there for no fucking reason. Cause the thing about you taking a, making a choice, that's a cigar.

Oh, it is. Yeah. The thing about you making a choice to go and start something up, and the people that are left behind, they kind of want you to fail Especially the haters right they want you to so Tony was like encountering that all the time These people that just for whatever reason they don't want other people to

They don't have people to escape the bomb that they're in you know It's like people from the neighborhood that don't want you to leave and when you do leave, oh look who's back, right? People For whatever reason people really like when people fail, you know, it's a gross feeling It's a gross thing, but it's super super common Looking for a joint. Yeah, Jesus Christ wrong way don't you know we're in Texas You know, that's the first thing they gotta fix is make this shit legal in the whole country. It's so crazy

that it's... What's stopping them? Oh, I don't know. I don't understand it. I mean, it's a political beach ball. It's one of those things that just gets tossed around that I think is good for the establishment that runs the country. It's good to those things that just gets tossed around that I think is good for the establishment that runs the country. It's good to keep it up in the air. Like, I'll promise when I get in office, gays will be able to marry. Yay! And then they're talking about, there's people that want to take that off the table, you

know? It's like there's a bunch of those things like Roe v. Wade, that was a big one. There's a bunch of these cultural beach balls that are very important issues to some people and they get exploited by politicians as a way to promise you this and promise you that. But sure, but it never, nothing ever gets fixed. Nothing ever changes. Right. Well, it's changing a little, you know, I didn't think marijuana would ever be legal in Oklahoma I thought they'd be behind us

you know but boy you go there now it's billboards on every fucking street corner come get your weed you know. New Mexico just authorized psilocybin therapy. Really? Yep. People with depression I think depression and anxiety is that what it's for? Is that what they're using it? Those terms which apply to basically everybody. Right, everybody, everybody. Everybody's had some depression and some anxiety. There you go, now you can get some mushrooms

and figure your life out. Well, maybe I'll give it a try. Yeah. It's just the problem is federally, it's still not legal. Which is, it's so dumb. It's so dumb. You know, and I don't think it's gonna change Unfortunately, I don't think I think Trump is too busy with all these other issues. I don't think he's interested in that so

cosponsor Said here goes the bill would establish an advisory board treatment equity fund and research fund as well as remove psilocybin from the Controlled Substances Act to provide to protect qualified and registered patients clinicians and producers according to a news release jointly a news release released jointly by the office of the Senate and the House Democrats if Pat so this is what the Democrats have over the Republicans. Freedom to explore your consciousness. Republicans for whatever reason, they shy away from that.

It doesn't fit with their conservative mindset of what you should. It used to be it didn't fit, the freedom of speech didn't fit with their mindset. And now the Republicans are all about freedom of speech because they realize the consequences of it during the last election cycle. When things get censored and when you have a town square that's curated by not just the big tech companies but also by the federal government itself, things can get weird when you're trying to access the truth. You want to know what is actually going on when certain stories have actually been suppressed by the federal government itself, things can get weird when you're trying to access the truth.

You want to know what is actually going on. When certain stories have actually been suppressed for the news because the federal government deems them misinformation, even if they turn out to be true, that's not good. And so because of that, the right is supporting freedom of speech, which I think is fucking great. That's great. That's what we all should be supporting, but we all should be Supporting the freedom to

Expand your consciousness and people have been doing it in certain ways for thousands and thousands of years And you don't know better Haven't done it if you haven't done it yourself and you're passing judgment on people that have you're not qualified If you if you want to go You know do a psilocybin session like a heavy what Terrence McKenna would call a heroic dose You want to do that and then talk shit? Okay? Yeah, but until then Because the thing is like it would preclude you from doing the things that you're doing Know this okay, If you are a

fucking rampant capitalist and all you give a fuck about is your hedge fund and all you give a fuck about is the stock market and numbers and buying this exclusive that and that exclusive this and getting tickets to this exclusive thing and all you're about is like status and numbers, it will fuck that up. It will fuck that whole thing sideways. You won't be able to take any of that seriously anymore. But that's good.

It's good for you. You're not supposed to be taking that seriously. If you've got half a billion dollars and you're still scrambling to try to make more money, like pause. You're 67 years old. You're gonna die if you're lucky in 30 years. If you're so lucky to hit 97. 30 years happened so quick, man.

We've been here for five, Ron. We've been here, you were here for six. You were here, you were patient zero. I always say you were patient zero in the Austin invasion. Because I remember calling you, it was in the the Austin invasion because I remember calling you It was a 2018 when you moved here 17. I Remember calling you go. What are you doing down there? Like we miss you at the store I fucking love it down here middle of the country if I want to fly

Where real quick people are nice foods great. I was like fuck and I live in Texas I started thinking about it then. But then when the pandemic hit and I knew you were here, and then I had some friends in LA that were also real sketched out by all of it, they all wound up moving somewhere else. A couple of them moved. Well, two families that I was real good friends with,

they moved to Dallas. And then another good family friend moved to Vegas and then another one just decided to stay and we all came out here together you know as groups of friends and when we were looking around Austin I was like fuck Ron White lives here I could live here that was like one of the first things I thought I thought of Ron lives here at least have Ron yeah I got a friend yeah and I was like okay I can't do stand up right now anyway. But then as soon as I moved, Tony's like, fuck it, I'm moving.

I was like, you're moving too? And then Sigoura's like, I'm in. I was like, holy shit. And then Brian Simpson came out real early and I didn't really know Brian well at all until Tom introduced me to him. Tom was like, dude, you got to meet this guy. He's so funny. He is too, man.

He's so funny. So he was, man. He's so funny. So he was here early too, and then Assan and Derek both moved out here early. I'm like, oh shit, we got something going on. And then Tim Dillon bought a house out here. I was like, oh my goodness, what is happening? This is crazy. And then Duncan was like, man, fucking North Carolina,

I don't know. I'm like, come to Texas, motherfucker. And then all of a sudden Duncan's out here. I'm like, holy shit, holy shit,'s out here. I'm like, holy shit! Holy shit, this is crazy. I'm like, all right, we're up and running. And by the time we decided to make that club, fuck, we had like 10 great guys living here.

12, and more were coming. And they're still coming. Yeah, Dylan, Tony, there's so many different guys from the store that used to work at the store all the time. Yeah, I roped Tony in man. I'm like we need Tony here. I gave him my fucking condo and let him use one of my Range Rovers to go out to Dallas. Yeah I live here for a week. I don't know where I was but yeah you spend a week here you'll go yeah this is doable. Well we all were so excited because it felt like we were doing something different. Yeah. You know it felt like we were doing something different. Yeah, you know

I felt like we were doing something different. I've always had this fuck it part of me. I was like fuck it. Let's go I'm I'm that's me. I do doing that. I love you do your impetuous as fuck Oh, I like it. I like I might you told me you were gonna I'm gonna move there You had a house like two days later. I'm like damn this guy moves when he moves yeah my kids helped a lot because they really wanted to move that sweet-ass place on the lake yeah that's good that's good living over there it's also like when we came here no one had masks on and everybody was acting normal yeah and so my kids like what's going on like why how come everyone's normal here we We should live here, you know, and then

It's just it just happened and then all of a sudden the stores closed so I could get all the employees And then I was like look I'll pay you now. You don't have to work just hang out. Yeah Let's let's we're gonna do something special. That was more money than you were thinking it was but it to do something special. That was more money than you were thinking. It was, but money is fun coupons. Yep, fun tickets, that's right. That's what it's supposed to be. Let's go have a good time.

If you're not having fun and you have money, you're doing something wrong. Because you should be trying to have fun and sometimes some things you have to pay for in order to have fun. A lot of fun is free, but there's a lot of fun where you go like oh we got to buy a building Right hire an architect we have to pay a construction crew We have to you know we have to do a lot of things, but that's the way to do it That's what you're supposed to do and that I was the person who was able to do it because the the universe had decided That this thing wanted to get made and we hit every green light and then I was like, okay

Well, clearly this is the thing I'm supposed to do It's you know, I know it sounds crazy, but let's go, you know But I the whole thing was crazy like is in the middle of the biggest deal I'd ever done ever in my whole life Spotify this crazy thing. I was like The show was already like the number one is that feel like it was that fucking deal and bananas bananas, but I Was also like, okay. Well, what should you know? You have to figure out what you're gonna do like you have to be You can't be at the whim of all these other people's ideas and expectations

Like what do you want to do is like I want to get the fuck out of LA of all these other people's ideas and expectations. Like, what do you want to do? I was like, I want to get the fuck out of LA. So let's do it. So I moved in the middle of everything. So this is giant deal I have. And all of a sudden they're like, where are you going? I bet they were.

I'm going to Texas. They're like, don't go to Texas. This is crazy. Like, are you sure you won't be able to get gas? I'm like, look, I'm flying guests in three times a week anyway. Right. I was already flying people in from New Mexico and New York.

And New York's closer than, you know, it's a great spot. Really. Right. It's not like a six hour flight. That's our flight across the whole country is a pain in the ass. You know, the people were worn out by the time they got there. So you know, they had to like have a night to rest and relax and rehydrate. And then the next day, maybe, you you know still they're probably not a hundred percent.

This is like three hours. A three hour flight ain't shit. It's a three hour flight from everywhere. Yeah. It's easy. It's a great spot. Yeah. But it's also like I feel like sometimes the universe calls you in a way and tells you

just like it gives you a feeling again I think I ideas are like a life form I really do I think it's like an unexplored life form I think that's why the concept of the muse is so enticing to people because there's something real to it like when you decide you're just gonna sit there and write and you say it doesn't always come like sometimes you get nothing But sometimes because you sat there, you'll have some of the best lines you've ever written Because I think they're like life forms that you have to call into your life And I think sometimes these life forms these ideas

They just exist in the ether and by circumstance they like kind of gel together and become more more valid and more alive and then they enter into your mind and if you're ready to receive these ideas you have to act on them especially if they're positive I'm not saying you know go fuck the Capitol building because you write an idea I mean positive ideas not vengeful like if you if you have a good soul, if your goal in life is a positive thing, these ideas will come to you and you're supposed to, if you can, you're supposed to act on them. And I felt like, wow, what a unique opportunity I have to be able to do this. I shouldn't be scared because it's daunting and it's expensive and it's like, what are

you doing? Like you just do it. Just do what you do. Here's one thing that I believe. I believe that things disguise themselves and we call them coincidences, but there really are no coincidences. And if you'll look for things that look like coincidences, you can follow that line and go somewhere with it. And I feel like that's what happened whenever, you know, with the mass exodus and people started coming to comedy, to make this the best comedy scene

in the world. You know, those things fell into place because that's what was supposed to happen. And I think it all happened because of me. In that, I needed it the worst. I needed this more than anybody else did. And I feel like I was able to cash in all my fucking karma or whatever, and draw it all into me a little bit, because I needed it. And so, you know, Well, it makes sense. Like, it's a certainly a huge factor, right? Because if you didn't inspire me to even think about Austin, I wouldn't have. And I wouldn't have moved here if you weren't here,

I don't think. Maybe I would have. But it helped a lot that you were here. I was like, this makes it so much easier that I know Ron's here. Because it was weird times then, man. Everyone was, even going to a restaurant, you felt like you were a rebel.

Like, it felt weird. It felt weird to not be scared. Like, you wanted to hide the fact that you weren't scared that you wanted to just go Out was a strange strange strange time that I think even now we look back on and we can't like I watched a UFC fight the other day an older fight and all the corner men had masks on I'm like, this is the craziest thing That's a we went stamp right there. You know, it's bizarre It was a fight that took place in an arena in Florida with no crowd No crowd

It was Justin Gaethje versus Tony Ferguson. It was one of the first fights we did back It was like and you were there, uh-. It was like- And you were there? Uh huh. Yeah. And I was watching the fight the other day and I was looking at the corner men. They all had masks on. I was like, what a weird fucking time. What a weird- I remember like people would get upset if I didn't wear a mask backstage.

I'm like, what are we doing? What is this for? Like this is crazy. These guys are beating the fuck out of each other and sweat on each other You know and all of us tested negative That's how we got through here like someone can magically gonna get kovat while we're all wandering around together We all test negative so you had to get in this room They had to be able to test you everybody get tested like those shows that you did with the chapel exactly

So we're all in this room take Take that fucking stupid mask off. Right. Even the shows we did with Chappelle, outside the people were supposed to wear masks. Outside. Outside. Everyone's tested. Is this a mystery, magical disease that we're encountering? That is like demons hiding in the woods? Well, it but it but it was too at one time, wasn't it? Yeah. You know, I lost Vic Henley to that disease in New York City early on. But Vic was not a healthy guy. What the disease did is exposed metabolic health problems. I'll admit that. I mean, he was a raging alcoholic and he knew it, And I knew he was really considering making some changes in his life,

you know, that he was talking to me about. And then boom, you know, gone. So, so in that sense, yes, it was. But it wasn't in the sense where all these healthy people who have been tested are where that's ridiculous. Especially the athletes and the fighters. Like, what we would have to do is if one of the corner men got COVID, even if the fighter didn't have COVID, the fighter was pulled from the card. So one of the corner men tests positive for COVID, because the fighter had been around him,

even if he's negative. We treated it different than we treated anything ever. And especially for the fighters, it had like, it was not gonna have an effect on them unless they did there's one guy did have an effect on he got COVID really really bad but it's because they kept training these guys kept training while they had COVID they know a lot of these guys they don't give a fuck they have the flu who cares they're showing up at the gym it's part of being an animal is like you'll show up sick and you'll train through a, but you shouldn't do that. You're just breaking your immune system down further.

And especially if you're in camp. So being camp for a fighter is very different than regular working out. Being camp for a fighter is you are basically redlining your body, trying to get it to recover, like trying to get it to keep pace so you can get to a superhuman level that's only achievable after like a 12 week camp and you could only hold onto it for a couple weeks. They know when you're peeking sometimes and they'll back a fighter off.

They'll go, we're done today. We're done today. You're peeking too early. You're peeking too early you're peaking too early you don't want to overdo it so you want to back off your training when you're feeling absolutely perfect and get yourself a little just slow down we're a little too soon like a really good trainer knows when you're peaking but you can't maintain it forever it's really only for that's why it's so crazy that a lot of these guys, they'll accept a fight on like 10 days notice. Like that's nuts. That's nuts. Like you need to be

peeking. You need to be like, you're gonna fight in a fucking cage. And I know you're doing this as a financial decision, but that's why John Jones is the smartest. John Jones never did that. They changed opponents. Fuck you, fights off. Even guys like Chael Sonnen who eventually stomped in the first round, like absolutely destroyed. It was not even remotely competitive. It was an annihilation. It would have been an annihilation, 365 days a year for decades. It wouldn't have mattered how good John Jones is, and as great as Chael Sonnen is. John Jones was the bigger man. Chael had fought at 185 pounds. John was a big 205 and he was the most talented guy that ever fought in the sport and he's gonna win every time. But when they changed the opponent they tried

to make it Chael Sonnen. He's like nope, nope. We do things the right way. I go through a full camp. That's it. Fights off. Because they want you to play ball get it we need a new guy but look to this day everybody says he's the goat Well, why is he the goat because he did everything the right way He knew especially when he wasn't partying he did everything the wrong way, too I mean he did a lot of party and still beat the fuck out of everybody because he was that good because he was that Talented one of the craziest things he ever said, Daniel Cormier, when they were having a rematch, they were talking shit in the press conference, and Daniel Cormier said something to John,

John goes, I beat you when I was on Coke. It is the craziest statement, because he says it, and you're like, oh shit. And it's true, it's true, that's how good John was. But if you try to change opponents, John's like, uh-uh. Try to call John Jones in for a late notice fight on five days notice, he'll tell you, go fuck yourself. Like, nope, I'd rather hang out at home with my dog.

Like, he's not doing it. Like, you gotta, so these guys, when they're peeking, they're vulnerable, They get sick a lot Especially when they're cutting weight because you're redlining your body and you could overdo it and guys overdo it all the time They over train they just break themselves down with they just think they haven't they've kept too much pace and not enough recovery And they're declining and declining and decline they show up at the gym They have no energy and like fuck and if you get a guy to the fight that's over-trained, it's horrible, it's horrible to watch.

I've seen it many times, the guys just can't recover, they're too tired. They overdid it, they were too tough for their own good. So one of those guys got COVID, this guy Hamzah Chamayev, and this motherfucker is a psychopath, he's a savage. Like one of the most savage guys that's ever fought in the sport. And he just kept training, just kept training. And this motherfucker trains like eight hours a psychopath. He's a savage, like one of the most savage guys that's ever fought in the sport. And he just kept training, just kept training. This motherfucker trains like eight hours a day.

He trains like a Wolverine. He's an animal. He was training with COVID and he kept getting real sick. When I'm getting hospitalized, coughing up blood, gets out, goes right back to it. Same thing, hospitalized again. He got hospitalized like twice because he wouldn't stop training because he's that psychotic. But other than him, regular athletes that get it, they just take a few days off. Right. Daniel Cormier had COVID, trained through it and won the title, won the heavyweight title, training through COVID in his camp. He was sick during camp and kept training. And everybody was like, let's just keep going. I didn't get off the couch the whole time I had COVID. So just imagine those level of athletes

and were worried about it so much that everybody has to wear a mask. Like shut the fuck up. Right. This is nuts. So all that had to happen too, where we were the reckless ones. We were the ones that like, I'm not buying this, I'm gonna live my

life, I'm going to Texas. And there was a lot of people that were really mad at that, like what are you doing? You're not scared. What are you doing? You're doing shows indoors. You're killing people. Blood is on your hands. There's a frothy mess of people that were just all caught up in this psyop. They were just the you know and it was great, not good really, but it was great in that it exposed these fragile thinkers, so many fragile minds that couldn't see the forest for the trees. They just couldn't see it. And when we all came out here, we said, we see it. Like, this is bullshit. Yeah, yeah, it'll make you sick. Yeah, you'll have to be at home for a week. Yeah, get vitamin drips, you'll be alright. Like yeah, this is what we're dealing with, for real.

And a lot of people agreed. And then it turns out we were right. It turns out we were right. At the end of the day, we were correct. We were correct to want to live our lives. We all went back to living our lives. Too soon. Says who?

Says who? The fucking government that's been lying to you about this disease the entire time?'s been lying to you about this back on it and and and realize it that it happened you know that it really fucking happens that we were locked up locked down it's not good because it's it's like when you find out your friends a bitch and then you have to count on them again in the future you like dude don't fall apart on me here. Show up.

Like don't get scared. We need, I need help. Like you find out your friend falls apart under pressure. You're like, oh great. Why are you crying, Mike? What are we doing? Don't cry. This is crazy. Like now you can't count on Mike because Mike falls apart when chick gets hot.

And this is how it feels. Feels like a good percentage of the country. It was a joke from my last special, but I really feel this way. We lost a lot of people during COVID and most of them are still alive. I wrote that line thinking about specific friends. It's like, what did you think was going on? What did you think was going on? What did you think was going on? Yeah, it's a disease. But since when have you changed your entire fucking life for years for a disease? This is nuts. Since when have you listened to the

entire government tell you you can't have outdoor dining because of a disease, like a disease you've already had? You've already gotten through it and they're still telling you this? And we're a year and a half into this fucking thing? And so we were right. And so many people, because we were right, so many people also came. And that's the beautiful thing. It's like people speak with their actions

and the people that are willing to make a leap like that, those are the ones you want there. Those are the ones, like we got the best of the best. We got the most fuck you of the fuck you people. Because comedians are fuck you people. They are. Something happens in society like, hey man, fuck you. Right, or eat a steaming bowl of fuck.

Eat a steaming bowl of fuck, no matter what it is. And the world needs that. I need that, I need that. I need you here. I need Tony. I need people like that, the same way that you did. The way we all sort of collectively manifested it together. But without you, we wouldn't be here. Yeah. So you guys come on down to Austin, Texas and check out the mothership and see how much fun we're having if you don't believe it. If you think we're making this shit up. Because of you, I also almost bought the cult house.

Yeah, right. That would have been, you know. We would have made it happen. People say, yeah, that would have been horrible. It wouldn't have been horrible. No, it would have been amazing. Because it was a cool place and that, you know, it was. It would have been amazing.

Yeah, it would have been amazing. It would have been amazing. It's an amazing spot and it's hilarious that a cult used to I feel terrible for all the people that were roped into building It and all the people that guy but you were doing that piece It was so funny and you quit doing it. You didn't do that in your special. No, I didn't know that was so funny Yeah, it's a true story Line that it's okay to hypnotize people and butt fuck them because it falls under the category of I talked him into it.

Yeah it's basically the same thing. That's not illegal at all. I talked the guy into letting me fuck him in the ass. It's kind of technically not illegal. With a watch going back and forth in front of his face. That's not illegal. That's not drugs. The guy was a hypnotist and a gay porn star. Like what combo right and then when they found the gay porn like the doc you watch the documentary, right? The documentary is incredible, but Ron The people at home Ron had performed at this so you had performed at that place You know, I fucking love that theater you should buy that place and then it was for sale I was like, oh we're in right and then Adam Eget is what he goes. Have you seen a documentary? then it was for sale, I was like, oh, we're in. And then Adam Egett is the one, he goes,

have you seen that documentary that's on that cult? I'm like, oh no, oh no, Ron White, what have you done? What have you done? I watched the documentary and I was like, oh boy. I don't think I even realized at that time that that's what that building was. I don't think I knew that it was a cult building whenever I first took it, maybe I did, I don't know.

Have you seen the videos of the guy dancing around inside the building? Yeah, oh yeah. That was what it was built for. I had seen that years ago. I mean, years and years ago. So I knew about that anyway, but I didn't realize that that was the building,

or maybe I'd fuck out. Those are the same people wearing masks in their cars. You know what I'm saying? It's like, that's why you can start a cult. If you just get everybody who wears a mask in their car you could rope those motherfuckers and you're doing almost anything and that's how cults get started yeah yeah no people are looking looking for leadership well they're also looking really dumb I think about the positive aspects of the mothership right like we're all having a good time but

this is what everybody really wants but what if the only way you can get that is to believe Baba Kinesh over there who's like you changed his name and now he wears wooden beads and he sits in the lotus position and everybody's got to suck his dick like I just wanted to do yoga and hang out with everybody why do I got to suck this guy's dick this is they kept sucking his dick and you know what they're sucking his dick somewhere else now in Hawaii in Hawaii yeah yeah still get his dick sucked some guys are just really good at like getting their dick So it's like the thing where you need to be on acid to understand the Grateful Dead

It's like you need to be the special frame of mind with a special nine volt brain where you can Get talked into a cult like that. But it happens every day. Every day. Every day. Every day all throughout the country. You know, I was talking to Mark Andreessen about this, a venture capitalist guy, brilliant guy, and he was telling me that there's a ton of active cults right now in California.

Oh yeah. That are functioning. Like you only hear about the ones that wind up getting in shootouts with the feds. There's a bunch of them that actually function somehow or another they keep it together You know people leave they tell the horror stories and some people join right? But like wild wild country is a great example that Netflix documentary. Yeah, the crazy thing is in the beginning. It looks so fun Yeah, it looked completely fucking doable so doable,. You know our leaders got really nice fucking cars look. How can he be wrong? He can't be wrong he's got 20 Rolls Royces. There's so many of them. It's

it's like whatever the way that we evolved in tribal society to listen to the chief we all have this like strange desire to either be the chief or listen to the chief. You know, either be the alpha or listen to the alpha. And someone can pretend to be the chief. They can pretend to be the chief with magical insight. And you know what the most fucked up thing about that documentary is? The thing that still fucks with my head

is that that guy would do this thing to these people called the knowing, and they would orgasm, they would literally meet God. To this day, they all say that it was real, that that thing actually did happen. Like the power of suggestion, the fact that he kept it from them for so long, and then the one day, or this is your coming of age ceremony, this is the one day you're going to get the knowing, and he would put his hands on them and they would really experience something. And they said it was like they were experiencing God, like they, it was the most bliss they had ever felt in their life, and that they never felt it again.

and that they never felt it again. So the circumstances and the ritual activated this innate part of our consciousness that's always there, this ability to talk to God, the ability to communicate with God, which is probably what every religion is trying to do. It's all like this whisper of the truth that's out there in the ether and everybody knows that it's out there. There's something there I just have to figure out how to and this guy is crazy gay porn star hypnotist butt-fucking all these dudes. Still even this guy was able to touch these people and they were able to access that part of their brain and they were in they were in they were like oh we're in man I'm following this guy everywhere this guy really is like connected to God well you know I I think

that that that prayer I'm sorry with that just with prayer is a physical thing not a spiritual thing. And that's why it works for anybody. You know, I believe it's a way to channel energy and you change the way you feel. But it doesn't matter what you're praying to that. It's a physical transfer of injury. Right. Not not a spiritual thing. And because anybody can do it and also hypnosis is so powerful when it's done correctly.

And I know that because I've experienced hypnosis done well. And so boy, if you have both of those things, you know, you could have power over anybody that's stupid enough to fucking buy it. That's the problem. That was what they did during the Manson family, MKUltra, during those days. This is part of the chaos book by Tom O'Neill. It's about the Manson family murders. And one of the things that they went into is the fact that this guy who worked for the

CIA at the time was part of MKUltra. His name was Jolly West. And Jolly West is this figure all throughout the counterculture resistance movement that the federal government had sort of concocted. And part of what he was doing was teaching people how to manipulate people with LSD. And he was teaching Charlie Manson in jail. Like this guy visited Manson in jail. Then Manson would get out of jail and Manson would get in trouble, get arrested, and then get released. And the sheriffs all say, it's over my pay grade. They were all told to let him go. And so he was implicated in murders

and violent crimes and they all always let him go. They always had to let him go. And he was getting acid. And he had sophisticated methods of manipulating minds It wasn't as simple as like this is a charismatic dude And they all want to cut a baby out of fucking Sharon Tate stomach. No, it was way crazier than that It was sophisticated mind control from MKUltra and they wanted to see if they could get people to become Homicidal maniacs and they were right they could. They knew how to do it, they used it, and they got Manson to do it, and it threw water on this whole anti-war hippie movement.

All that peace, love, shit, whoosh. Now hippies are murderers. Now hippies are Charles Manson. Now, you know, your kid wants to just like, fuckin' paint flowers and show up at Grateful Dead shows no need kids a murderer your kids are fucking these all the hippies are suspects now it worked it's a fascinating thing they did like the the way they threw water on this movement that was happening like in 1970 there's

this just threw it down and put schedule one on everything. If the Nixon administration hadn't done that in 1970, who knows what the world looks like today? Like who knows? Who knows if you can get Ibogaine and Ayahuasca in America, if psilocybin had stayed legal? What, it was made illegal in 1970.

All that stuff became, yep, all that stuff became schedule one in 1970. Marijuana was always illegal. It was illegal from like the 1930s and that was because it was a textile and that was because it was a commodity. It had almost nothing to do with the drug itself. They were trying to outlaw hemp. They were worried because they had come out with a new way to process hemp fiber. It's called a decorticator. They invented this thing. It was a big thing. Popular Science Magazine, hemp, the new billion dollar crop. It was like they were saying, we're all going to use hemp now because now there's an effective way to process the fibers and they're superior to everything else. Makes superior paper, superior cloth, superior everything. Much much much much better plant. And William Randolph Hearst was

like, fuck that. So William Randolph Hearst starts publishing stories in his newspapers about how blacks and Mexicans are taking this new drug called marijuana. They invented the name It was a wild Mexican tobacco. That's what marijuana used to be it was slang for a wild Mexican tobacco So they put that name on cannabis something that people had had forever people have been smoking it forever It was literally that the origin of the term canvas Comes from cannabis? yes

oh I didn't know that it's all hemp if you go like the Mona Lisa those are all painted on hemp the first draft of the declaration of independence was written on hemp hemp was a far superior paper it's really difficult to tear

it's a crazy fiber hey can we put this on pause for a second? huh? you gotta piss? uh can we put it on pause for a second? Yeah, okay so ladies and gentlemen Ron white had a moment there where he The cold came back the sickness came back and you know

Yeah, that was a moment. That was a moment. I don't know what that was I was over here blabbing about the illegalization of weed and how crazy it is. And we were talking about ayahuasca and all those things. And all of a sudden, you just got a little pale. Yeah, I got a little pale and started sweating. I don't know what it is. I just got a little sick. I feel a little better now.

I've had a nice yak and. This is a how long has this sickness been with you? I felt fine all day. I felt fine yesterday. I played golf I had You know it says this happened before though. It just comes on out of nowhere No, this is be the first time so maybe it's like a maybe it's another thing There's something fuck. I don't know. I don't know what it is Wow, and you've had a couple IVs right I had two last week, and I'll go home and get another one. Yeah.

And I'm sure I'll be fine in just a little bit. Damn. Sure I'll be cool. Damn. And you played golf? Yeah, played golf with my son, had a great time. It's a nice day to play golf too. Absolutely. One of the things that we have out here in Texas is real weather.

I love it when it rains and everything's so green and pretty. You need to go down to Costa Rica. I do need to go down to Costa Rica. Stay in your neighbor's place. I do need to go. It's the sweetest thing that I've ever seen. My big pet peeve is when people say it's the best thing you've ever seen. I'm like, this is the best thing you've ever seen, buddy.

I've seen some shit. Exactly. Like, what are you saying? I've seen so many things. But that place down there that's another Driftwood, or like, you know, kind of like Driftwood, but it is fucking gorgeous. I heard that Driftwood place is amazing, the place out here. It's the best, man.

It's so pretty right now because they blow in a bunch of wildflowers all over it and it's just fucking gorgeous. It's a great golf course. I almost wish I played golf. It's a waste of time and money. You don't have, I know you don't have time. So yeah, I would love it. I'm sure. But so we should probably wrap this up because you're not feeling that good, right? I feel a little better. You're right. Yeah. I'm a little bit. Yeah. All right. Well, well it's a it's just a

When someone gets sick like that, you don't know what to do like fuck. Yeah, I don't know what to do But I swear I feel better. I feel I don't feel hot anymore. I'm so weird So weird like what is that? I? Seen you get something out of my stomach real quick. I think crazy quickest way to do it It's just crazy that something's been like, you know, you have a little invader in your body. Yeah. You're fighting off. That's what we're doing all the time fighting off these invaders. Yeah I'm still coming to the club tonight. Okay. I'm gonna get a drip and come do a set. Of course. This will be fun tonight. It's Cam Patterson's show tonight. Oh good. It's gonna be fun. Good. That's an

exciting time. Really is. And the world is so chaotic right now, which is great for comedy. Whenever the world's fucked up, comedy's had its best. Gaza, Palestine, and ah, and it's fucking Ukraine and tariffs, ah. It's great to come out and do some comedy. Yeah. You know what I say, and I stay away from all of it. Good. And of that subject matter, any politics or anything like that. And the reason is, you know, I know my crowd, I know what they want. And they want to laugh

really hard. And they want to, and I think that I've always taken a position as I'm just not going to bring that into it. I'm going to let us do something. I love it when other people do that are really good at it, and you know, it's fun to watch and it's entertaining as fuck. But I decided a long time ago that I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna go out there and make them laugh as hard as I can make them laugh and let them have some time off from tragedy or whatever. And I'm not that good at it anyway. So I've never been a political commentator, right? So why be one now?

And then- Well, the problem with politics is you're gonna alienate 50% of the crowd. Dead split. Dead split. And if you're one of those people that takes a stand on stage like, okay great right now You're taking a stand. Yeah, okay, but just just let's have fun It's silly unless What you have to say is so good that you can make someone laugh. Oh if you're good enough Yeah, if you're good enough, right, you know, I saw people try to take on 9-11 right after 9-11, but I only saw like one

person that was really, if you're good enough to write about that, then write about it. But if you're not good enough to write about it, leave it the fuck alone. Leave it the fuck alone. That's some black belt material. Yeah. Yeah, you have to be- Some skill level whatever, you know? Yeah.

You know, Mitzi Shore wouldn't let Brian Holtzman on stage for two weeks after 9-11 she's like no way keep him off the stage the Holtzman couldn't wait couldn't wait to say something fucking completely outrageous whatever that demon inside of him that comes out when he's on stage yeah I don't understand him. You know, I really don't. I love him. I love him to death. But he's such an original character and the most.

Yeah, he's from a different time. It's like he was brought here from another dimension. He's like a different thing, even the way he dresses. It's like he's from the 50s. Right. And he's like my age. Like he's not. He was like that when I met him. He was from a different era when I met him in 94.

Oh, you've known him that long? Yeah. I'm like, where is this fucking guy from? Like, you're from a different time. People fucking love him though, man. He's got a crowd now. Yeah, he does. That's the difference between the way he was treated at the store.

Unfortunately, he fell into this through nobody's fault. But it was like everybody waited till the end and Holtzman would go up. But like why have him on the end? You know, it's like, have him on when the crowd's hot. Don't put him on at one in the morning, put him on at 10. You know, let's see when the crowd is like popping. Like let him cook when the crowds poppin, you know And now he sells out people come to see him. All right, and the headlines it's like people get excited

You know, he's a maniac and he's got a crowd now. He's got like a legitimate draw they get it. Yeah, they get it Yeah, it's nice. It's fun. And You know, that's also the difference between When a comedy club is run by a comic You know cuz holstman has always been a comic for comics You know we all would go to see holstman at the end of the night when he was doing these insane sets for 15 People in the main room right but now like we're running the show's like give them a fucking weekend Let's go give them a Thursday night. Let's go. Let's have some fun

Let's go give him a Thursday night. Let's go. Let's have some fun PM shows a lot of Thursdays. Yeah, especially 10 p.m. Shows. That's the best time to see him When it's late and you've had a couple of cocktails, right you feel crazy about the world. Yeah, let that guy Let that guy loose you understand. It's a joke. Yeah, you get jokes. You get someone saying something that he doesn't really mean. Right. It's completely ridiculous to say. Yeah, that's part of the fun. Yeah. Yeah. And then he acts like he means it and you buy into it. No, it's a joke still. But every now and then he'll show you behind the curtain. Yeah. Every now and then he'll give you a little peek and you're like, okay. Yeah, this is an act. He's having fun he is he's having a good time he loves Austin too I see him walking around downtown

and most every time I've drive through the city he's just yeah it was a big get getting him here it was a big get because we wanted to bring a lot of the there was some magic that was trapped in the town of the Comedy Store is magic and some of it wasn't being utilized correctly. And Holtzman's the best example of that. But what a fun hang it was, you know? What a fun hang. Yeah, it was great.

I had some of my favorite times in my life in that back bar. Yeah. Just laughing, just laughing. We would be back there, just laughing. That was a great thing the Comedy Store did. When they put together that bar, that it had Mitzi's actual bar from her house

was the bar there. I didn't know that. Yeah, that bar, that it had Mitzi's actual bar from her house was the bar there. I didn't know that. Yeah, that bar didn't used to be there. So the early days, that was like a storage room. And so at one point in time when the store was really killing it, they decided we should turn this into a bar. And I don't know what year was that.

I feel like that was like 2014-ish, which is right when I came back. And the store was killing it. And we all were like, oh yeah, we'll have our own bar? This is incredible. And you had to go through the kitchen to get through it, like a scene from Goodfellas. And you get back there and you could only be back there

if you were cool. Like you couldn't buy a ticket. It was policed too. Yeah, you had to have a friend. You had to know somebody to get back there. But we would be hanging with some of the coolest people in the world. That was my favorite place to drink.

Oh, it was so fun. There'd be musicians back there. Smoke pot back there. Everybody was just chilling, the drinks were free. Yeah. It was crazy. It was like it was so fun. The store was a magical place, man. A magical place. And there's something about the fact that, you know, it had this insane history to it that you felt like, wow, I can't believe I'm even here. Right, standing on the stage, same last stage as prior. Kennison. Yeah. And you're in the belly of the beast on Sunset in Hollywood,

like right in the middle of everything. The middle of everything. I remember when I was a kid in 1988, when I first started doing stand up, they would talk about the Comedy Store like it was Mecca. Like you had to make your pilgrimage to the store. And some guys would say they went there but they bombed. Oh, I went back there, tried to do some meetings.

I did a set at the store, I bombed, I fucked that place. Yeah, my first trip out to LA, I was trying to get on at the improv, I couldn't get on. And I was like, oh man, I went to the comedy store. And I told them my story, it was Monday night, and they put me up first, which wasn't a really good spot, and I ate it, but they did put me on stage. Well, there it is, right there. There were about 10 people in there or whatever, nobody, and it was a horrible experience.

But I always look back at it finally, you know, because they did it. They said, yeah, go get on stage. First time I ever came out to the store, I was out in LA to do some pilot thing for MTV. And I was staying at a hotel and I knew what the store was. I was like, I gotta get there. I just gotta see what it's like. And they let me in, cause I said, hey, I'm a comedian from New York.

Can I just come in and watch the show? And they're like, yeah, sure. They just let me right in. And then I sat in the back of the room and there was like 19 people in there. And they were all like, the comics that were on stage were terrible. They were all like, boat acts.

They're like people that, and then I realized years later that what had happened was a lot of these scenes they go in these peaks and valleys and I had caught it when it was out of Valley and before it was at a peak like the Kinnison years it was a giant peak when people would come to it was the wild place Kinnison was there. They all come at midnight and watch him and celebrities would be all there and he had died in like 92 I think and I got there in 94. So there's like there was this like absence. It was a real lull. There wasn't there's a lot of like leftovers people that didn't that were in the 80s that didn't make it right, but they were still around

They're still doing stand-up and hoping that something was gonna happen, but they had tired acts They were just tired. It hadn't happened for them. They're out there doing pilot season They didn't want to be at the store because you're at the store. There's no no Agents, there's no executive. No one comes to see you at the store at that time. They would go to the improv Yeah, we're at the store at that time. They would go to the improv or the lab factory That's where the industry was. So if you really wanted to have an actual career, you wouldn't be doing sets at the store And you had to do sets in front of Bud Friedman going language watch your language Yeah, there's a lot of that back then right the TV days everybody thought you had to be clean

You know when I came back to the store It was in its heyday, you know you were but you know running the podcast and you know The fucking place was packed to the rafters and the comics were solid as fuck, you know Yeah, we had a magical run. Yeah. Yeah, there's a magical run and we're having one now. Yeah It's the same thing. I mean we're it's basically but it's our version of it the new version of it But it's the same thing. It's just like it's a beautiful thing when I mean that term artists is very pretentious So just say comics realize that we're all doing this thing together and there's not a lot of us and it's fun to hang out together and enjoy each other's company and appreciate each other and appreciate the ride. We're all in this wild ride together.

That's right. And it is quite a ride. It's a beautiful ride. Quite a ride. Yeah, we're very lucky, Ron White. And I say it all the time, but it's true. You're patient zero. All right, man. I'll take the title You really patient zero because you just threw up imagine if you have some fucking new Picked up some new kovat in Vegas. It kills us all. Yeah, I love you to death brother I love you to be in here. Oh you got thanks for having me out Bye!