The Joe Rogan Experience - #2305 - Rich Vos

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

Rich Vos is a standup comic, writer, and actor. He's the host, along with his wife Bonnie McFarland, of the podcasts "My Wife Hates Me," and "For Worse." Catch his most recent special, "Rich Vos: Anonymous," on Youtube. https://amzn.to/3NQJ2T0 www.richvos.com Go to ExpressVPN.com/ROGAN to get 4 months free! Download the DraftKings Pick6 app NOW and use code ROGAN.  Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Help is available for problem gambling. Call [phone] or visit ccpg.org (CT). 18+ in most eligible jurisdictions, but other age and eligibility restrictions may apply. Valid only in jurisdictions where DraftKings Pick6 operates. Pick6 not available everywhere, including, but not limited to NY, and CA-ONT (for up-to-date list of jurisdictions please visit pick6.draftkings.com/where-is-pick6-available). Void where prohibited. 1 per new Pick6 customer. $5+ first Pick Set to receive $50 issued as non-withdrawable Pick6 Credits that expire in 14 days (336 hours). Ends 5/4/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Terms: pick6.draftkings.com/promos Sponsored by DraftKings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience. Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Let's go. How are you fella? Good to see you. Wow. Dude, you're fucking dripping with diamonds, sir. What's going on?

The road's been good to you. Look at you. I'm just so empty inside. This fills the hole for like, like, it's like, you know, you go by, you're like, oh, and then you get home and you go, I hate my life, I hate my insides and no spirituality, but I get to look at my emptiness. Dripping with wrapper diamonds.

I've ran out of shit to buy. There's nothing like it. What car are you driving? A Lexus IS 350. Oh, those are fun. It's nice. That's a good car. Bulletproof.

Never going to break. And it's so fast. This is how fucked it. OK, so I had the Lexus 350, right? Right. And I had it Lexus 350, right? Right. I went and I had it for seven months maybe. I went in to get it serviced and I was kind of depressed so I bought a different car. I said, I go, this is fucked up. So I bought the IS 350.

I had the other car for seven fucking months. I go, you know what? That one looks cool. So I bought that And then I went in to get it That service and it was the exact same car a year later But I like the newer color the newer gray That gray that whatever weird gray slate gray. Yeah, it's like it looks good. I said, you know what, fuck, give me this car. So I traded it.

So you keep swapping them out? Yeah. They must love you. Yeah, they fuck. I'm such a mooch. On one year of my wife's birthday, I bought myself a new car. On her birthday, we could drive around in this. Oh my God.

That probably played off well I buy her cars. I just so you know So now I get bored easy I get bored easy and it's cuss of you know in life in life You know, in life, in life, really, like I see some of my friends doing arenas, doing this, doing that, but I have enough. I really have enough, but it's not enough. Do you know what I'm saying? Does that make sense?

One, I think for my, not for my personal life my personal life. I got three fucking great daughters Three grandkids another one on the way my seven-year-old is gonna go to college has Pick of all kinds of schools, you know good schools. I fucking in 11th grade I raised my hand to go to the bathroom and I never came back I just walked out like I'm a fucking idiot, you know My past and my kids all grew up. Okay, the old one married a black guy, but he's light-skinned anyhow the prettiest baby on the planet

so I Have enough but when it comes to career as a comic and you know Just one more fucking thing. Just one more thing, you know what I'm saying? I do know what you're saying. I don't know, I don't know what it is. You know, I've had specials, not Netflix, but it's always, it's like I'm always doing the other club.

Right, I see what you're saying. I'm always, and I'm very blessed and I love what I've achieved in this business, but it seems like it's always like, okay, I got a special on Amazon now. But it's not, it wasn't, Amazon didn't buy it, we placed it on that. You know what I'm saying? So it's always just always one little thing when every pilot my wife and I have had together I've had gets this close to getting picked up you know. I've heard some of the no's I've heard they almost sounded like yeses. They were such

good no's. I walked out and go that was the best note today that fucking no almost felt like a yes so in this business do you think you put something in your mind to make all these things kind of fall short have you ever thought of that yeah well that's what my wife says yeah do you ever thought that like maybe the way you interface with the world is like your expectations are tempered like in a way where you almost want to fail because it's more comforting that it happened again rather than this new thing of success which is going to force you to really focus and work harder to get more success and it's a lot of pressure and then you think about all the times you fucked up before and

you don't want to hear you don't want to hear no again you don't want to hear it but you feel like it's coming and you almost make it come well I get that in life growing up from my childhood through drug addiction I became comfortable being uncomfortable that was my life right come comfortable being in the skids. Being uncomfortable, yeah. This was what I was used to. In this business, I don't really ever set myself up for failure. I mean, I produce, I come up with albums, I'm always coming up with new material, and I got seven albums. I'll probably make an eighth album,

which is a pretty, it's a lot for a career, I would imagine. Yeah, it's great. I don't go into clubs and drink. I don't hit on waitresses. You know, so I don't know, but my wife says the exact same thing you're saying. My wife said to me once, she said, because I

had this power of thinking, like when I think really hard, it comes to me, shit, right? And my wife goes, if you think you deserve a million dollars, you'll get a million dollars. And I said, God gives you what you need, not what you want. And then she said God gives you what you need not what you want And then she said you think Chelsea Handler needed a TV show So she kind of like debunked my whole need, you know and one thing I If you believe in some kind of Power greater than your spiritual. I'm not religious by any fucking, but shit comes to me.

I don't think I fucking screw things up. I don't screw things up like, you know, in meetings or when we do pilots or whatever. I do what I'm supposed to do, so I don't know. I mean mean in comedy Yeah for years I might been a little aggressive on stage or you know a little whatever you know I Think everything now, especially now with clubs or whatever it's all numbers

They don't give a fuck if you like to wait staff on fire if you sold out the room They go great. You were fabulous. You know, I was I was working catch years ago. I was at catch and Bill Hicks, okay, so David Brenner's on stage and this is a day love David Brenner. He's killing Killing his during the peak of David Brenner He gets off bill walk bill Hicks goes up and he says growing up as a kid I would see Robert Klein and David Brenner and I figure if they could do it I could do it So now he's doing his bit about Nancy Reagan skinny Whatever and calling her the anti-crisis.

I mean people are running out the door. They're running out the door. And then he gets off stage and he says to me, he goes, what went wrong? But I swear to God, he goes, what went wrong? Was he serious? Or was he joking around? Yes. No, he was, whatever.

He was building, I don't know. It's hard to tell with him Yeah, but anyhow the the manager or Booker now after her said to him You can come and do a spot here anytime you want Because he was Bill Hicks. You see what I'm saying. He was Bill Hicks, you know, I worked with him in Texas It's when I first started and I'm watching him, you know, and we'll get back on track, I'm sorry to go off on these things. Don't go wherever you want to go.

So we're working in Texas, he just breaks up, his girlfriend breaks up with him at the time, it's a true story. So he goes, where can you get a hooker? A prostitute and a cab driver. I like how you gotta clarify. Yeah, I know. There's a lot of these young kids now that listen, okay? A hooker, a prostitute, okay? So the cab driver takes him to one house

because they would take you to the, and I go with him, he goes, take a ride. So then we go to one house, she they would take you to the, and I go with him, he goes, take a ride. So, then we go to one house, she knocks on the door, and she opens the door and goes, you're a cop, and slammed the door on him. Slammed the door on his face. He looks like a cop. Then he went, but he also, the next place

the cab driver took him, she opened the door and goes, you're too young, and slammed the door on him. Oh my God. The next night, he did 10 minutes or whatever on how he can't pick up a prostitute in Lubbock, Texas. And I go, I'll never be this funny as long as I fucking live. Like, I've watched people going amazing.

Then I was running then with Bastille. That's when I was running with Bastille. Frankie Bastille? Yeah, so he, I'll tell you a good story. He's a wild fella. I think I told you this story. I've told this story and it's been told, but I don't know if I told it years ago when I did this.

And then I'll get back to it. I'm not self sabotaging that's what you were getting to in my head in my self sabotaging not not self sabotaging I don't think it's a self sabotaging thing it's a not understanding the energy that you're putting out there and being accustomed to a certain result okay if you're accustomed to missing your playing pool you're accustomed to missing the nine ball, you're gonna miss that fucking nine ball every time.

What happens in golf, too? Yeah, I'm sure. It happens in golf. Same thing. You gotta reset the way you think about things. And if there's something that's eating away at you that bothers you, that occupies your thoughts, you have to figure out what that is and clean that up.

That's a big part of the problem with a lot of people. A lot of the problem with a lot of people is maybe they don't like something about themselves, they don't like what they've done, they don't like, you know, choices they've made, and that's in your head all the time. Like, you know, the lack of clarity, the lack of peace is in your head all the time. Well, you know, it's not this is not an easy thing. I'm saying I'm not saying this is like, okay, here's the real formula. Just go out follow these three steps, and you're going to be rich and famous. It's not that it's just that success generally happens when you've got as many pieces as possible in order correctly. And failure generally happens when you've got as many pieces as possible in order correctly. And failure generally happens when you're overwhelmed by too many things that

are not working right. And your attention and your focus is on them. You're divided. A lot of times, you see it's like a terrible relationship. I've known a lot of really talented people that sabotage themselves with a terrible relationship. And they think somehow or another that this is just how relationships are and they're terrible in that relationship. And then they can never be who they could be. They can never reach their full potential because they're always burdened down by these fucking squabbles

They're having with their girlfriend or their boyfriend You know that's also to a god thing where you think I could fix this person or I could sure change him No one can that's Brian Callan. He went I'll write out his whole life. I will tell him get out now I would be his girlfriend. I'd be like, get out now. I met a girl, one girl that he dated, I literally within five seconds of saying hello to her, I go, come here. I pull the massage.

Cut to, okay, he doesn't listen. You know, later that night, like she's drinking wine, she's fucking hamburger, it's a disaster. She winds up living with him, eventually figures it out, gets rid of him. Couple years later, he's walking down the street on Sunset, and she's street walking. No.

Yes, girl he was living with at one point in time. This is Brian Callan. He felt abandoned when he was young, and so he, I believe, I'm speaking for him, and so he's a sweet guy, and he tries to reach out and fix people. Well, here's my Brian Callan story, it's very funny. I was middling for him at Carolines,

which will never happen again, because Carolines is close. I'm middling for him. So I get off stage, and I'm single, this fucking smokin' hot girl comes up to me and she goes, come on, let's leave, right? I go, I gotta sell my DVDs or CDs. I have to sell my DVDs or CDs after the show.

I'm sitting there selling CDs and I see Brian walk out with her right past me on I'm just I fucked up But maybe I didn't who knows you definitely didn't because Bonnie's awesome For you in the long run, but it's yeah, you definitely should have left with her No, I shouldn't know because that's what that in life is where I was supposed to be at that time when I was there Okay, I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? No, you're correct.

Anything could happen. And also, what if she's a nightmare and then you miss out on whatever, 400, 500 bucks you would've made selling DVDs. Oh, I didn't make that much. I never know. 100. 100? Yeah, even 100. Now you're going to a nice restaurant, needn't do that.

Who knows, who knows? You know, it's this whole negative thing with my... This is an ego by any stretch when I say stuff like this. And I've, and my wife, I know I've earned respect from my peers, I know it. Because I've done I've done a lab from from white to black comics black comics that most white comics don't even know You know what? I mean, you know, we did a lot of those wrong. I did. Oh, yeah, I ended all those TV shows Yeah, you know Please I started black comedy. So

Okay, you can only hold a white man down so long. So and and like I think in life I'm more about respect than Accomplishment okay, what I'm saying you more about the respect from your pee Not only my peers the industry too, though The industry doesn't know like say some some club owner, let's say a club owner. They're not sitting in the room watching your shows.

All they care about are the fucking numbers that come in. I had a club owner once, I said to him, and you're lucky, you're way out of that, but I'm still, I'm in that. So I said to a club owner once, he goes, I said, look, I'm as funny as I've ever been right now in life. He goes that doesn't fucking matter What does that matter and it's all a quick fix? Yeah, they just want to sell tickets sell ticket and I get it They got to keep the doors open, but that's the weird marriage between the club owner in the comic You know I used to tell comics

You know we're not Every comment feels like they're battling it with club owners, like the club owners never giving them enough money, the club owners fucking them over, lied about it being sold out, it was definitely sold out, I want my bonus, that kind of shit. You don't want to be a club owner. You don't. You don't. I mean, I give that advice and then I became one, but just by necessity.

But I was like, this is an important relationship. You gotta be nice to them, and so they respect you. Because everybody in the beginning, you feel like you're ignored by them. But it's a weird thing because they're just in the business of comedy. Unless you get like Brian Dorfman and Zanies, he really loves comedy.

There's a few Wendy from from comedy works in Denver I'll try my Wendy story. I love one. I don't know good story. It's so you'll like it okay, but my point is It's like well Cory in Rhode Island's one of the best fucking nicest guys on the planet, Rhode Island's yeah that one Comedy connection oh yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, Mark and Rochester Yeah, indeed James and governor's the comedy connection in Rhode Island's weird cuz you're in a bank. It's I know That's how bad the markets doing Did that that was a

He fixed the whole thing up. Yes, the whole camera system. It's a great club. It was always great club Plus there's not a lot in Rhode Island. So when you go there people are so happy to see you. It's a great club. It was always a great club. Plus there's not a lot in Rhode Island so when you go there people are so happy to see you. It's yeah it's my uh and I'm not bad-mouthing her Wendy. I don't know her like this. So I worked a club twice and the second time I worked there was Halloween weekend. I mean it was a guy in the audience in blackface, whatever, you know, so. Really? Yeah, this was, I don't know, 10, 15 years ago. 10, 15 years ago?

10 years ago. But wait a second. So she wasn't even there the week. Okay. She tells my manager, I did a lot of crowd work, whatever, yeah, so anyhow, this is, so I'm working at Syracuse Funnybone and my middle, very funny guy, I think he passed away, he was an older guy, really great joke writer, he's

from Denver, he goes, oh I do a podcast with Wendy and he sees that I'm closing and he goes, I'll talk to her. So I email Wendy and I go, hey, listen, why don't we start from scratch? Let bygones be bygones. Start over, whatever. You know, I'd love to come back in. And she doesn't get back to me. So I write, by your lack of response, it looks like you want to move forward. Here are some available dates.

by your lack of response, it looks like you want to move forward. Here are some available dates. Right. And she doesn't get back to me again. Shocker. And I write, can I bring my own medal? What do I care? Right. It's funny. I'm trying to be funny. So she was just upset that you did crowd work. That's it. No, well, she was. The numbers were low. Probably it was Halloween weekend.

But listen, I work enough. And I'm saying, I'm not bad mouthing any of these people, because you're the one who looks bad. I'm not bad mouthing them. She's got a business to run, whatever she's got to do, just like any of them. They have a business to run. If this is who they're going to bring in

to keep their doors open, I'll always find fucking work I don't care. You know what I'm saying? Yes, so and Industry-wise I mean now it's a whole look My wife is killing it because she's a writer and a comic and you know, she's writing movies She's punching out movies. She wrote for the Golden Globes, you know, she Has different outlets once ago. want us to go on? No, no, that's cool. Ask yourself this, who has access to your medical history?

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And the best part, podcast listeners can get four extra months of ExpressVPN for free at expressvpn.com slash Rogan or by tapping the banner. And if you're watching on YouTube, you can get your four free months by scanning the QR code on screen or by clicking the link in the description. God, when I quit cigarettes, I quit cigars because I was scared I was going to start smoking. You probably would. screen or by clicking the link in the description. You know she has different outlets as a stand-up. I'm just a stand-up. I'm a club comic I love you know I do theaters. I do whatever but I Love doing uh I really like doing clubs, so it sounds like you're doing exactly what you want to do. Yes I'm the fuck's the problem. I don't think there is a problem

But it's I said just one more thing to put it over the top. Do you know what I mean one more? You never told satisfied rich well. That's a good point. Yes one more thing to put it over the top. Do you know what I mean? One more. You never totally satisfied Rich Voss. Well, that's a good point, yes. I'm an addict, you know, so. Look, here's my fucking, here's how fucked up I am. How fucked up are you? I'm gonna tell you right now.

As you glitter and dab it. And this is not in, in the morning I drink my coffee. I sit at the table It's unlike me and I put a bird feeder and I watched the birds feed and it's very relaxing Yeah, watch them all come and feed it for very relaxing. Okay now I Have seven bird feeders around my property because I figured, well, this will be seven times more relaxing watching birds. No, now you got bird chaos. No, but they're all over.

I mean, I got ones that I, with a video camera, I could see who's coming to squirrel. I don't care if the squirrel eats the, you know, but it's my addictive personality where. You always want more. A little more. Yeah, just a little more. New car, different color, same car. Yeah, one more ring. I can't always want more. A little more. Yeah, just a little more.

New car. Different color. Same car. One more ring. One more tattoo. I took two off. So it's... and I work on myself. I go to meetings two, three a week.

Still after all these years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you still feel the pull after all these years? No, I've got all these years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, do you still feel the pole after all these years? No, I haven't got gambling to fall back on You gambling on what I can yeah Well, I mean once in a while. I'll play on my phone at night Slots. Oh boy. Yeah, I did real well You made money one yeah last I gotta say

Slots on your phone sounds like the dumbest fucking idea because there is no way It's not fixed at least a slot machine now this random Well slots in the casinos the biggest sucker bet on the biggest sucker I'll play craps if I'm gonna play If I'm gonna gamble on a scene on play craps like a man You know what drives me fucking crazy when I hear there's someone hits the slots and they won't give out They won't give the money because there's always there was an error with machine. That's bullshit I've heard that yeah many times like fuck your errors give that guy his money

This is what I won last year on slots. Let me see this Really? Yeah, really? Yeah, I got lucky. Two jackpots. Wow. But now I keep playing, think I'll get more. Think I'll hit the big one. Yeah, well that's how they get you. Yeah. I mean, okay. I have a friend who's very wealthy and is a fucking degenerate gamble. Dana White from the UFC. Oh yeah. Oh, I see the videos. Degenerate. He's a nut. I was just reading an article about hunter Campbell Who's the financial officer was like trying to talk to him just saying you made like you're killing me like why you doing this? He loves it laughs at it's

There's shit that goes off in your head even even when you lose you're like I mean I head even even when you lose you're like I mean I makes you feel like you're alive so I was happening I was in Vegas and I walked to the table with 300 bucks crap table and it's me and the whole table is I mean I held the dice for almost an hour 300 300, I turned into 5,000, the tables going nuts. I'm winning everybody formula and diapers at the table, they're fucking yelling, cat with a hat. And it's just such a, you know, and then for the rest of the week,

I didn't gamble again because I go, I can't follow that. I'm not gonna be able to do that again. So it's not like I'm obsessed with it. Numbers I am kind of, but I've been to casinos and worked for three, four days and not even played. But when I do, it's like, like my wife and I were in Canada and we went to a casino, I go,

well, let me go back to the hotel and put my credit cards and money there. She goes, you can't go into a casino with all your money and credit cards. I go. How does she ask that question? She knows you. Yeah, I know.

She should know you can't. She's fucking with you. Yeah, well she knows you can't. Yeah, but she does. She should say good for you. Yeah, that's a good point. She should say good for you. That's smart. But she didn't know me when I was an addict. She never saw me when I was out there. Yeah, but I, well, I guess I did. I knew you when you were an addict. But you cleaned up nice.

You really did. You figured it out well. You really did. So she should know that. Yeah, not to go to the casino supportive that's what I'm trying to say about that Bonnie that's what I'm trying to say I mean now you guys are one of the funniest couples of all time though that's like a few like Christina Pizitzky and Tom Segura Natasha Legerro, Moshe Kasher there's a few like you know people say like comic shouldn't date comics, well, I don't know about that,

because sometimes it fucking works really well. What am I gonna do, come home to a dentist? You know, and for me, you know, we really come together when we find the same enemy and the same person we could trash, you know, or we talk comedy, we make each other laugh. Yeah, we fight and have all the fucking, you know, we're a married couple.

And you're comics. Yeah, and we're comics. So you're talking shit. Well, to be a male comic, you gotta be fucked up. To be a female comic, that's a whole nother level of fucking up, because they go on the road, they gotta worry about everything. They gotta worry about Everything they're females. Yeah, they got a word of fans with acting where they're staying what it's like it's talked

Oh, yeah, it's horrible, and thank you for saying we're funny. Yeah, we were together guys are very funny It's like you know I was using as example because comics will say all the time, don't date comics. And I'm like, I don't know about that. I don't know about that because like, why not? I don't think you should never date, although I stopped dating Italians when I was 21. Oh yeah. Yeah. The last one swung at me.

I was like, I'm done. Well I only dated her. She was swinging. I was like, I can't believe she's swinging at me. That's hilarious. Like, while this was happening, her arm was pulling back, it was coming towards my face like, I can't fucking believe this is happening.

Well, I only date Irish, like I can't afford a Jew brawn, so I went fucking Irish. I'd rather go to fucking Marshalls than Barnes. Yeah. You know. Well, also like, you probably, well well the thing about Jewish women that the stereotype is that they're very controlling. Yeah You know it's like a how the mom is you know it's like you take that role of like the mom of the house Then you wife becomes your mom

There's the stereo. Yeah, not saying it's always that way That's the stereo. I'm not saying it's always that way. Very, a little naggy. A little naggy. Yeah. And I mean, look, fucking Bonnie grew up on a farm killing chickens, you know. Perfect.

She's fucking, I, you know. She's good for the, like, when the revelation comes. And not only that, I have running water. You know, they had a fucking, they slept on the floor. She grew up like I do, poor, poor. And or And we started dating I mean I was already in the business for I don't know how many years I it's like they say don't date comics. Yeah, well if you're a new comic and they're a new comic It's gonna be competition the whole time It's gonna be jealousy, but I was already established and she was established

It doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be it could be but it doesn't like this these like hard fast rules They don't work. It all completely depends on the individual I mean how different are comics like how different are you to Shane Gillis? How different am I to Ari Shaffir like we're all different even though we're all real good friends. We're all there's no hard rules No, I Luckily came up with the one of the strongest crews in New York Oh, you came up with an amazing from fun trees Patrice Norton. Mm-hmm Billy Bobby Colin, you know kev. Yeah little, you know, Kevin Hart. It was an amazing crew.

You know, our crew and, you know, then Bonnie. Bro, I knew you back when you had Jerry Curls. You knew me when I was doing Robin Gibbons bits. That's right. Those were the 80s. You don't remember, you might remember, we were working a one-nighter in Seaside, New Jersey. It was my ex-wife and me, you and her took a walk

to the boardwalk. We were in Seaside, right on the boardwalk. And it was just me, you and her. I think you just came down from Boston, and I don't think you were living in New York, I think you were just doing some shows, some one-nighters and shit. And we did a one-nighter okay I probably first

it had to be I got 39 years with her probably like 38 years ago I let this name make sense because I've been doing comedy for 30 37 years okay so then okay I was with Bonnie so yeah I mean Kelly so I had you're right I had not only like 1990 that yeah, I had like four years clean 90 was when I first started coming to New York, okay already clean. Yeah. Yeah, so and I was already married So yeah, I had five years clean so it was maybe like 34 years ago, which could fall. Or 35. So yeah, we're working a one-nighter.

And I remember walking up the street, me, you, and Bonnie, to the boardwalk. I mean, Kelly, Kelly. To the boardwalk. To the boardwalk, and it was just some one-nighter. And then, I don't know if we ever worked again together. Oh, well, Dangerfields, we did some stuff.

We did Carillons together, too. I remember doing Carillons with you. Oh, we did a lot of Dangerfields shows together. Yeah. You remember, did we ever do prom shows together? Yes. Oh, Jesus. People should know what prom shows are.

So New York has a very weird thing where they take kids from like Staten Island and Brooklyn and They bring them in and fucking buses To danger fields and the show would run from like 7 p.m. Till 5 in the morning No break no break. It just you would go one show and you get paid by the show It was like it was good money I forget what it was like you get paid but like you make couple grand in a night if you get the whole night So you do stand-up from 7 p.m. To like 5 a.m But sometimes some of the shows were the same some of the same crowd most of the show. Yeah

Yeah, yeah with it. They didn't move the people out They just pushed new kids in and they wanted you to do the same joke so that the kids would leave. It's the best time to be a basketball fan. All the thrills and playoff drama done sitting in the sideline and ready to win some real cash. Well, check out Pick Six from DraftKings. When it comes to basketball playoffs, DraftKings Pick Six posterizes the competition, including

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He walks on stage in a robe, drunk. He's not doing comedy. He's bumming the cra- He's talking about his divorce or death. And all these kids are just, they're all looking at him like the jury from My Cousin Vinny, when they were looking at the stuttering lawyer. Their eyes were just going, what is going on with this man?

Right? And he just, it was the most depressive. And then I think Brian Regan had to follow him. And he just, it was the most depressed. And then I think Brian Regan had to follow him. And the fact, I mean, if you look at your career and some of mine and Brian Regan, we were doing prom shows. I did, there was a contest at Rascals

and I think the winner got to do Comedy on a Plane. Right? That was back when they smoked on planes. Yeah, and I think John Stewart was one of the contestants. Like I remember doing, I remember doing, or else it was a Johnny Walker competition. I was there, it was like me, John Stort, Jim Gaffigan, to do some Johnny Walker tour. I don't fucking know whatever the contest was, but it was all these

contests. But you would see, look, I worked fucking clubs. I was working one club once, I was working one club once and after the show it was in Scranton PA at a holiday and me and another comic after the show the owner brings us in the back room and pulls out a gigantic bag of coke and says do you want coke or money and I took the coke and the guy who took the money is Adam Sandler and look where he is He opened out he was a guitar comic and he opened up that was a Nick's comedy stop thing Coker money Oh, yeah, I worked in Boston. Did they offer you Coker money? I don't and I was getting high cuz when I first started comedy somehow they What was his name, Dominic and Jackie Gayman or something? They liked me for some reason.

I stunk, but they would give me spots at Nick's, and I would get either money, but I would buy Coke from Mike, the drug dealer that the Colombians killed. He was their Coke dealer up there. I would stay behind a connection at the Milner Hotel which was all prostitutes and drug addicts, right and You know, I would go up there and Nick's was giving me shows upstairs downstairs

So the one time the last time I was up in Boston I did Springfield Mass and Westfield Mass 252 Elm and some other Norm LaFoe shit. Norm LaFoe, Western Massachusetts. Yes, yes. So then I went to Nick's. I go, I'm not spending my money on drugs. I'm not, I'm coming home with fucking money, right?

So I'm working this place called Plums in Worcester. And this waitress, oh fucking smoking hot after the show, because I did some coke bitch, she goes, you do coke? I go, yeah. I go, do you know where I can get any coke? And we couldn't get any coke in Boston. I'm not we drove from Boston. I went back to New York bought a bunch of Crack we got a hotel smoked all night. I we had sex this and that and

it was Saturday night and I'm 40 minutes from home and I have one more show in Boston on a Sunday and I have to drive her all the way back to Boston, no money left, maybe $10 or $20, just enough to get back to Boston, do my show, luggage in a fucking paper bag. We stop on the way up in Hartford, we tried to buy coke or heroin and we got ripped off. She's crying because she's gonna lose her job. Fucking blood started pouring out of my nose

as we're driving, just pouring out. I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. I swear to God, right? Right? Well, and then she goes, my sister wants an ounce of Coke, so I was gonna set her up and rip her off. And you know, get a free ounce of Coke. Well anyhow, two weeks later, I end up in rehab.

That was my bottom, that fucking trip to Boston. I end up in rehab. And about a year or two later I'm working for at Lauderdale and her sister's there with her boyfriend who's the size of a fucking house. So if I did rip her off I would have gotten fucking as shit killed beating out of me. You know what are the odds? So that last trip to Boston and I spent all the money I wasn't gonna spend but this girl was fucking hot you know. Then I came out of rehab and I think I

had like a month or two months clean and I'm working on Daytona Beach. There's fucking weight where I don't know I was I had bad teeth fucking Jerry curl and my wife says that she saw videos of me from rest and she goes you're such a mess but you had so much confidence and girls like confidence right because I would be on stage fucking rotten teeth and fucking grease dripping out of my hair mess I look like a fucking rat and Just hot waitress in Daytona. We go back to her place and I'm making out with it. Something tastes funny I go what she pulls out a bag of coke and I had like a month clean two months

I go I can't do that. I gotta get out of her. I'm a doctor, but then I left real quick, you know You know and it was scared so you never bounced back. You never went back to drugs. No, no, that's amazing I mean, I fucked her, but then I left real quick, you know. You know, and it was scary. So you never bounced back, you never went back to drugs? No, no. That's amazing. 39 years ago. That's incredible. You have one fall off and you're like, I'm done. Well, I mean, here's for me now,

and you know, as the years accumulated, you know, I was working, I was saving money, I was buying. You know, if I years accumulated, you know, I was working, I was saving money, I was buying, you know, if I went and got high now, this watch alone would kill me. I could pawn this watch, it would be enough money for me to die. You know, money I've hidden around the house, you know, no one's gonna find it.

I don't even think, hey, we're gonna go to Faust's house and find his money. This shit is fucking hidden well Alright, so go fuck yourselves so anyhow I'll die just know look For a year and I got to get back on track. I stopped eating Not not keto but cut back on carbs sugar

Just I did real well for a year year I mean I was fucking ripping up again and From my age and it's harder to my daughter comes upstairs and goes. Oh, I made homemade chocolate chip cookies. I Give me one Well the seventh cookie I had to throw in the garbage the seventh one I go, I can't, I gotta stop. So that's how my fucking mind is. There's no one time. What the fuck, I play golf and guys are drinking a beer. I go, what the fuck are you doing?

We like to taste, fuck off, Gatorade tastes good. You drink to get drunk, what are you drinking a beer? You know? And it's just, and then on stage if I go, I quit, someone goes, quit it or shut the fuck up You're here having wine coolers bitch sell your mother's car to get high go fuck yourself Wow you don't know anything about getting Hot ooh, you're fighting with people aren't even here. I know Shower arguing with these guys

Fucking arguments I've had? I thought you were going to bring in your whole pro-Palestinian crew that I was going to fight today. Which I have stuff printed out, we'll read later. But that's how funny having fights would be. You don't ever lay in bed or have arguments with people that... No. You've never had...

I did when I was young. Yeah, I figured that out when I was younger. This is stupid. And when the impulse comes, which it does, I go, this is stupid. I talk to myself. I just coach myself. You got to have another voice in your head. Most people have one voice in their head and that voice is like, we should go get high

or we should do this, we should do that. You have to have a second voice and the second voice is like, what advice would I give me? And the advice I would give me is like, you're wasting your time arguing in the shower with someone who doesn't even, they don't even know you're arguing with them. I know, it's true. You're not even there. You're like replaying it out in your head so you could have had a better thing to say to them. They say to live and rent free in your head so you could have had a better thing to say to them.

They say they're living rent-free in your head. Yes, that's what it is. I don't allow anybody in my head. No, I had the second voice. I do, and I'm not religious by any, but I'll say, you know, God get me off. You know, what should I do? What's my purpose? Or what can I do in life? You know, look, my main

purpose in life, besides be it, my main purpose is staying sober. Because if I don't, I'm dead easily and everything I throw away. Again, my family, obviously, you know, and my career, you know. All the shit I put about Israel, and that that's that's my life is comedy But I think in life if you're not part of the like just a solution part of the problem with what's going on in this World with in this mainly in this country the anti-semitism in this country the anti-semitism in this country is weird Because it popped up like it was hiding You know after October 7 it popped up like it was hiding like what where has this been here the whole time? It was weird and I think

there's a lot of it in on Twitter and These places that I think is not human beings and that inspires human beings to get bold I think there's a lot of it that's bots there's a lot of it that's but I see these I've like when someone says something outrageous on Twitter I'll go to the account and see like what what they're doing and what and sometimes I go oh this isn't a person like you you can figure it out after like a couple of pages like this is not an actual person this is is a person that jumps onto every

Controversial subject and says something insightful. I do it over and over again and you see it with abortion You see it with immigration you see with voting you see with the rigged elections like there was an FBI analyst who? Took a look at Twitter before the purchase and he said I think it's as much as 80% bots. I Think we're getting played as a civilization back and forth I think we're getting I think so many people are vulnerable to like following a narrative well, and and and I I agree she and I've said this and I believe in free speech you didn't I won't be talked about this. You didn't agree with it, and I've said this, and I believe in free speech. When we talked about this, you didn't agree with it.

I didn't agree with free speech? No, no, no. What I said about the internet, that some people in life use that platform, shouldn't have a platform in life because they're nuts. They're nuts. Like, if you had somebody in the audience that's nuts, you're gonna take them out. You're gonna get rid of them. Right, but that's the difference between an audience and the internet is you don't have to engage with the nuts. Okay, but there's people

that are following these nuts. Okay, you take whatever's going on in the Middle East, whatever, not in the Middle East, whatever side you're on, Israel, Palestine, whatever. Why are college campuses letting this happen on campus where Jews can't go to class, where they're being harassed, where they feel threatened? Well, a lot of that stuff is funded. Yeah, it's funded by Qatar or whatever. Or whatever. Whoever's doing it. There's most certainly funding and organization involved. These aren't organic protests that just pop up.

No, of course. Everybody wants to think they are because some people join organically. They hop in, but it's not. These are all being organized. Of course. Including the anti-elon protests including like you know the

End oligarchy rallies that they have with AOC and Bernie Sanders all this shit is getting It's all getting funded and astroturfed and they're busing people in they're Manufacturing a movement of course and I mean listen They didn't all go out and buy the same tents, you know they you know, it's and there's I don't know how many that are getting funded and then they Bring in, you know, it's just like the tents are crazy. It's just camp out for Palestine. Yeah it's just like you know, I

Don't want to get into the 80s and foreclosures on farms, you know. Farmaid? Well, when banks were foreclosing on farms, Jews were going, look, the Jews are foreclosing on our farm, the Jewish bankers, and they weren't even the bankers doing it. It was the WASP bankers. Jews barely worked at Chase Manhattan in the early 80s or 70s. But they blamed the Jews.

But they blamed because it's easy to go after, you know, that. So throughout the Midwest or the South, it's easier to build up a hatred or a group to go after a smaller group going, hey, these people are closing on your farms. These are the people that are doing it. And these people don't have the knowledge and the hate just grows and grows from generation to generation. Does that make sense?

So, same with, look, I got shit, I print it out. I'll show it later, maybe. I don't know, I mean, listen, I'm a comic, but I really, you see what I post sometimes, I post some shit, and it's not, I'm not anti, I'm not anti- You're pro-Israel. I'm just pro-Israel, but I'm pro-

You're pro-Jew. I'm pro-Jew in this country, and I'm not religious by any stretch. I don't fucking, I think it's a holiday now. It's Passover or something, I don't fucking know. I'm not religious. My cousins were, my family wasn't black. You think about it as a people.

I think about it as, yes, as a people. You know, if what was happening in this world to black people or gay people, these colleges would put an end to it. It would stop, all right? If people were ripping down posters of hostages, of black hostages or gay hostages when that was happening, it wouldn't happen.

Yeah, that was crazy. That was crazy where people were upset that people wanted people to bring the hostages home. Like these hostages, some of them were aid workers. Yeah. Some of them were people that like lived there so they could help people in Gaza. The whole thing is so crazy. But I wonder like how did they get turned that way? Or were they like what I said, like they were in hiding. There was like anti-Semitism.

As a person who's not a Jew, I would hear about all the anti-Semitism. Like, yeah, there's always gonna be some, but maybe everyone's exaggerating but then when this after October 7th, it was just like oh Fucking everywhere. Are you are you what's your background? I Italian Italian. Yeah, mostly one quarter Irish. Okay, if Every surrounding country right it happens. Oh, I get Italy. They're gonna fight back by any means necessary I 100% I don't know I got to do a little of it a little whatever you want I don't care do whatever you want I'm joking around but yeah no I understand and I think that's also one of the things that people like my wife

should keep away Go ahead when people get angry about Jews is because they think that Jews always stick together and they like Jews above all else And then it's like we're fucked those people, you know, there's like that walled garden approach, you know What do you got? They got a manila envelope like you're in fucking court. Look relax I'm a we got charts. Well. Here's you've been graphs What's that first page? Is that a photo of Israel? What is it? You got a map you brought maps He brought shit. He brought maps for me Dumbest shit I've ever seen from you

Yeah, very small Yeah, they're surrounded by a bunch of Muslims. All right. Not a good spot to be if you're a Jew. So, would you... They should have probably moved to a different spot. That's what they should have. It's like, you know, you know what I mean?

No, I got other better stuff. I just start off with the weaker stuff. If you're a black guy, you move into a KKK neighborhood, it's like, you're gonna have problems. Yeah, I mean, so... It is kinda crazy. Wouldn't you think, by any means necessary, neighborhood that's like you're gonna have problems yeah I mean so it is kind of crazy wouldn't you think by any means necessary they're gonna do what they fucking have to do I just survive yes I told you think they would and I

understand that aspect of it is that your thought yeah I got to turn it off sorry my wife I don't know how she got my number. Start the car. It is crazy when you look at the map. It's not just that they're surrounded, but they're surrounded by everyone. It's all enormous countries. All the way up. It's interesting that you go down Saudi Arabia, the end of it, you forget, oh, it's Ethiopia's right there.

And then, I mean, Turkey hates Israel. Fucking Iran, you know, they're being attacked by four or five different nations at once. And everybody's going, well, you know, they're committing genocide. First of all, those numbers are coming out of, coming from Hamas. Where do you think those numbers are coming from? Okay, but the drone footage isn't coming from Hamas. Where do you think those numbers are coming from? Okay, but the drone footage isn't coming from home. The drone footage is real. Like if you cover like Gaza with a drone

Yeah, nothing left. It's pretty nuts. Well, I bet you if they Release the hostages October 10th. Yeah, shit would happen. That's true. None of this shit would happen during the Clinton administration Arafat was in the White House probably six or seven times. The head of the CIA, during the Clinton administration, visited the White House twice. Arafat, six or seven times. And they offered a two-state solution. That would have been Clinton's legacy to have peace and a two-state, but Arafat kept turning it down

because Arafat's a terrorist, and if he does that, what purpose does he serve? What purpose? Is it that simple? Well, to me it is, because I'm not the smartest. But, it's true. That's part of the problem. Part of the problem with Israel and Palestine,

and I've sat down and thought about this conflict. Not that I'm an expert either. But it's almost insurmountable. And then now, after October 7th with all the bombings, and when they leveled Gaza, it's like, how do you fix this? It's like, there's no, you've created, whatever the numbers are, whether it's 70,000 people or 20,000 people that have been killed that are innocents, you've created so many more potential terrorists, because so many of the children of those people and

the brothers and sisters and relatives of those people. So it's like it's like reinforced this desire to to fight against Israel. But we you know and you could squash that you could you just keep pounding them down till there's nothing left which is what it seems to that they're doing. But we and I understand it from a tactical perspective, I guess. Do we have that animosity and hatred from Japan towards us, where we dropped, you know, and killed 350,000 people? We, I mean... Well, they did for a while. They certainly did for a long while.

Yeah, but now... I had friends who'd go to Japan in the 70s, and they said you could feel the hatred. Yeah, but now it's 55 years later. Yeah, they're not like that at all now. Yeah, okay. But it's a totally completely different generation. So you think future generations will think about Israel the same way we think about Japan? Or Japan thinks about us?

No, because future generations in the Middle East, this has been going since day one, since the Six Day War, since the Yom Kippur War, since day one they've been being attacked. So there's never, Well it's also before Israel was founded, you gotta go back to how they were being persecuted in Europe, it was insane. There's this guy, Darrell Cooper, is a lightning rod for controversy, unfortunately, but he's a he's got an amazing podcast

he's got this series called fear and loathing in the New Jerusalem and it starts out with the Jews being Persecuted in in Europe and he takes you through what it would have been like for those people and the gangs of people roaming down the streets raping women beating men to death in the streets. And it's so crazy because it's real. It happened and it was these people's neighbors. And this was why they got so many people to move to Israel in the first place. Cause when they said, look, we're setting up a state

for just for Jews from all these Eastern European Jews are like, okay we're in. And they move, I mean, you know, and then you had... And they've also been there since Christ. I mean, they've been in Israel. Even before that, right? Yeah, a couple weeks. But I think it predates. Doesn't it predate Jesus? Yeah, I mean, I'm not his story. And this isn't my whole life. Let's find out. Let's find out since we can.

What is the earliest who were the what? When did Jews first settle the land that's now known as Israel? But it was Judea back then, right? Like what it was, it called wasn't initially called Miami, but also like, yeah yeah this is like you know this is one of the reasons why it's this area is so so contentious is because Christians really believe that when Jesus comes back that's where he's coming back to Jerusalem. Like are you fucking sure? But here's another thing too this and I'm not listen I've worked I'm not gonna be that guy. Oh, I had a Muslim friend

Jews have been a history in the land of Israel the presence dating back to the second millennial BCE Okay settling in the area around 1250 BCE So that's that predates Jesus by 1250 years that predates Jesus by 1250 years. It's funny they call it before current era. Like current era is not 2000 years ago. Just say before Jesus you motherfuckers. That's what I say.

Second millennial BCE the Israelites, considered to be the ancestors of the Jewish people, emerged as an outgrowth of the southern Canaanites. The Israelites entered Canaan in 1250 BCE settling the hill country in the south. 10th century BCE, two Israelite kingdoms, northern kingdom of Israel and the southern kingdom of Judea emerged, of Judah rather, emerged. The kingdom of Israel was conquered by the Neo-Assyrian Empire in 722 BCE. And in 586 BCE, the kingdom of Judah was conquered by the Neo-Babylonian Empire. 538 BC, the Persian Cyrus the Great ended the Babylonian exile and the Jews returned

to their homeland. So they've been there since 538 BCE, started in 1250 BC, so they were there before anybody. The Romans destroyed the second temple of Jerusalem in 70 current era, leading to the Jewish dysphoria. Wow, crazy fucking history of controversy in that one place. 48 state of Israel was established, many Holocaust survivors welcomed it as a homeland. Yeah, 48. And since then, they've been at war.

And so they started settling, another wave of Jews started coming in 1904, from 1904 to 1914. So before, 538 BCE. Yeah but the problem is like there were Palestinians there and like what are they don't even have a country. Let's, if you've got people that are right next to you that don't even have a country, they don't, they don't have you know What is it? What do they do if they're ruled by Hamas? How do they fight back with these?

They are protesting in the streets now. They are Yeah, yeah, they get executed. Did you just see that? Yes, they protest. I just saw that thousands Yeah, thousands of courageous people protesting in the street. It's like we don't want any more of this. Stop. Well, look what happened. They got, I mean, because of Israel's help, got Assad out of Syria. Now the rebels took over, but Assad killed almost 500,000 of his own people, tortured 100,000. I mean, those are the numbers I read. I don't know if they're exact, but he's gone. There's a lot of controversy about Assad in Syria. There's a lot of controversy about the controversy, you know, about what actually happened

and why we were backing the rebels. We essentially backed ISIS, which is crazy. We backed al-Qaeda, which is just nuts. But he was more dangerous in Syria. According to a rep, according well also according to Israel because Israel weakened Iran's military after they were attacked by Iran, who was supplying Assad with weapons. You know what's really fucked? Before Iran became a religious state, women were like wearing miniskirts, they were hot. It was like there was freedom everywhere, people were

like chilling. It seemed almost like in like Europe. Probably like a like a resort vacation, like they were beautiful. Oh they were gorgeous women.. Persian women have incredible genes. It's like you look at these photos from like, see if you can find some photos of Iran like early 1970s. I was seeing some things on it this morning actually on the way over here. Or before I left my house, I was seeing this. It's so hard to imagine that a place that had a democratically elected leader, you know, it was, you know, it was kind of almost European. And then now, now it's just a full religious state and anybody, anybody who protests against the government gets assassinated. Like they assassinate an Olympic gold medalist wrestler because he was perceived to be protesting. I don't even know if he actually

protested. It was like some things that you post online. Like if women take off their head scarves they can get killed. But why I don't get crazy that a country can fall like that. I don't get where gays or women or whatever are backing. They're basically backing Hamas. I don't get it. They're retarded, that's why. I don't get it. Because they just do the new thing. What's the new thing?

Is it climate change? Why am I yelling? Climate change? Okay, climate change! Do black lives matter? Okay, black lives matter! It's all it is. There's a lot of people out there that are just retarded,

and those are the people that you see getting bused into these rallies, and there's just a lot of dopes that you could get To agree with almost anything and there's gay people for Hamas believe it or not trans people for Hamas. It's fucking I know Blacks for the clan it's I don't know how many of them are real because there's a few people that troll online and they'll pretend I'm a trip, you know, I'm a a trans woman but I'm also a Muslim. Like okay, they will throw you off a fucking roof bitch. No there's none left.

There's no roofs left. There's a couple high points. It's just hard to get to them. And obviously as a comic I believe in a first amendment. I say shit that you can't cancel me. Anyhow, I believe, and maybe I'm wrong and maybe you disagree, I wanna see your opinion. Look at this.

Okay, after this. Iran for the 1970s. Look, girls in miniskirts looking hot. They look, that looks like. Europe, look at this. Girls sitting in front of a car, cute little out there. She'd be fucking killed doing that now. Yeah, look at the beaches in Iran in the 1970s.

Isn't that fucking crazy? No litter. Look at these, God damn it. Look at the tits on that one. Hot. One lady though, that was the future. The future's in the lower right corner. Oh. Covered up like Yoda.

It's crazy. It's crazy. That's what happened to that place. Look at these people all hanging out, being free. 1979 is when it all went to shit. And they call it the revolution, but I think it was US-backed, son. Okay, what's your opinion?

It's my opinion. Free speech, protest all you want at colleges, protest wherever, but take off the masks. I don't use to take off the masks, period. I don't believe in a society where people walk around with their faces covered. Well, I think there's, it's too dangerous. Yes. It's a public safety issue. It's too hard to identify criminals. It's too hard to identify someone who commits a crime during the During the Vietnam protest. There was never a mask. Those people were proud to protest against a Vietnam war But there was a facial recognition software and cameras in the sky. It's like

You know, there's a lot of true. It's true, but now They're hiding and they're committing to me They're hiding and they're committing to me some crimes on campus. I think... Well, they're certainly doing a lot of things they shouldn't be allowed to do, like disrupting classes and screaming at professors. And it's organized. Yeah, it's organized. And people join in because they want to be a part of the group.

And there's a lot of people in this world. There's leaders and there's followers. And there's a lot of people in this world there's leaders and there's followers There's a lot of followers more follow. Yes, then leaders in the world Yeah, so I will get off of this because I know it kind of you know, but I just want to map back No, I have other things Other good points in yeah, it is it is a good point though But it's like when you have people that are bitter enemies like this, like these kind of conflicts take thousands of years to work through.

And in the case of Israel, it is thousands of years old. It's... Look, how are they going to win anything through the UN when there's 22, 23 Arab countries in the UN and Israel, so everything's going to be voted against. Yeah. Israel. There are 22, 23 fucking Arab.

Like I said, I can't solve or whatever. Is it unfair? Is it whatever? My concern is what's going on in this country. That's my main concern. My daughter's going to college. I don't want her to go to a college where she feels scared to go to class, where she feels threatened just to be who she is.

Tell her to go to college in Texas. I know. That's what she wanted. I wanted to go to some, you know. They have concealed carry on college campuses here. You know, it's so. This is a different place. It's a different time.

This is what America is supposed to be in a lot of ways. It's supposed to be a lot more free, less laws. But there's a lot of laws here that are kind of crazy. The abortion thing, the six week thing, most women don't even know they're pregnant that quickly. I think if a woman. If a woman? If a lady, a woman, okay. I told you, I walked out in 11th grade.

If a lady, I think, I walked out in 11th grade if a lady I think does all her chores I think I think once a week she should be able to wear slacks. I abortion to me Ivan it's not really I think a man and me I could be wrong if you're married or you live with your spouse The male might have what 20, 20, 25% of the decision, maybe 30. But some single guy probably never had a girlfriend, never lived with a girl. Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up. You know what? You just want to be part of something. Well, people love controlling people, though. They really do. Which is why those climate protests drove me fucking crazy where they would protest for climate change by blocking the highway. Those fucking idiots.

All they want to do is control people. That's what they want to do. You're not changing anyone's mind. No, not at all. Holding a flag in the middle of the highway. You're just pissing people off. But you're controlling people by stopping traffic and that's what people like to do. They like to control people. And they don't know if somebody's given birth or somebody has to get to the

hospital or for anything. 100%. It's all self-centered, fucking I'm more important than you. Yes. My, you know, throwing paint on somebody with a fur, they should turn around and fucking beat the daylights out Or these fucking climate people walking into the right museum or the van Gogh and throwing paint on a fucking Looing yourself to the wall. Yeah, what's crazy? And then again you see what they did at the Porsche dealership They they glued themselves to the floor and the Porsche dealership, they just shut the lights off and left them in there.

Really? Yeah, fuck you. They came back the next day. They glued their hands to the floor, like they're gonna stop everything, and they were like, okay, good, we'll just shut the doors. Porsche's are nice. Shut the doors, leave them in there to shit themselves.

Good, Porsche's are nice cars. Why would they attack Porsche's? They're only doing it because they know it'll get attention, that's all it is. It's a bunch, usually a bunch of very privileged, Why would they attack portions? They're only doing it because they know it'll get attention. That's all it is. It's a bunch, usually a bunch of very privileged rich kids, white kids that come from a family that has a lot of wealth and to rebel against their parents or probably fucking investment bankers or something.

They decide they're going to fight climate change, man. They don't even understand what they're fighting. They don't understand the science. They don't. understand what they're fighting. They don't understand the science. They don't it's complex It's multi-layered and nuanced and there's a lot of propaganda that's attached to what they call the green agenda Because the green agenda like all things that are big and public is profitable They have a bunch of companies that if they can get these laws push forward They can have industries that emerge and their industry can can benefit from all these laws pushed forward, they can have industries that emerge and their industry

can benefit from all these laws. And so they'll fund protests, they'll get people to do things. But it's all 4D chess, there's all these multiple layers of things happening. And then there's the inconvenient actual climate data that the Washington Post printed that show that over the last 50 million years, we're in a decline. The earth is in a cooling period and the earth's never like you probably know this but for people don't there's never been a static temperature on earth. It's always gone up and down wildly. It's unpredictable. It has multiple multiple factors. Carbon is probably one of them, but it's not the big one. It's not all of it. There's solar activity that's you can't control at all. Solar flares happen and some

of them happen. They've happened in the early 1800s. They blew out all the fucking Morse code systems. What was like though? There was a big solar flare in the 1800s that See if you can find that but there's they could blow out the power grid easy kill all the satellites easy What what carbon is is food for plants? It's the dumbest fucking thing to protest against pollution is a giant issue Yeah, do do we have an impact on the weather? I'm sure we do we have an impact on fucking everything but co2 net zero all this shit. This is nonsense Carrington event most intense geomagnetic storm recorded history peaking on 1 to 2 September 1859 during a soul Soul solar cycle 10 created strong ororal displays that reported globally and caused

sparking and even fires in telegraph stations. The geomagnetic storm is most likely the result of a coronal mass ejection from the sun colliding with Earth's magnetosphere. So if we have some of those in the future, it could do anything.. Let's see a geomagnetic storm of this magnitude occurring today has the potential to cause widespread Electrical disruptions blackouts and damage to the electrical power grid We've got real problems real problems and you're not gonna solve it with electric cars You're just not you're not gonna solve it with windmills. No, look if you drive Just not. You're not going to solve it with windmills. No. Look, if you drive up the Jersey Turnpike or anywhere, and the factories and the lights and all the smoke

and all that shit, just everything, all right, me turning off my light bulb is not going to make a fucking difference compared. Particularly when you look at the emissions that come from China. Yes. China is an enormous, enormous contributor to carbon emissions, and not just carbon emissions, but pollutants, particulates.

They're not stopping. They built 200 new coal plants. You know, they're not going to stop. No matter what we do, they're going to do what's best for China financially. Period. End of discussion. All these conversations they're gonna do what's best for China financially period and of discussion all these Conversations they're having about net zero go fuck yourself You're not gonna stop that. Okay, and and this is what?

They're looking out for their best interests. That's what they're doing. Just like every other fucking country is basically doing is Survival and that's my point with Israel. They're looking out for what's gonna keep us from being extinguished off this fucking planet. Right. And you know, whatever it takes. That's what the Jews, and I'm getting back on this

because you lost me on all that shit. But what the Jews need is a Malcolm X of Jews. Oh boy. Look, Malcolm X was great. He didn't say, he didn't say go after the white man. He said do what we have to do. Why don't you do that?

Why don't you be the Malcolm X for the Jews? Maybe that's your calling. My vocabulary. You know what I mean? There's no way to tighten that up a little bit? I could a little, a little with Bonnie's help. I fired my manager two weeks ago and I had her write it out for me because I knew I would have said something fucked up.

Oh, that's smart. And another thing, I go, hey listen, seven it's it's time to move on and I hope we still be friends and he went definitely Not like are you sure maybe we could work this out. It's like when you fucking leave a girl. She was great Okay, wait. Whoa, come on. I added something to fight for me. No, so nope. So yeah, I would love to speak in colleges or maybe that's my- Not today. No, no. Let it cool down a little first.

Let it cool, yeah right. Give it a year or so. Give it a year. I probably wouldn't be able to get to the auditorium. Trump said the wildest shit about Gaza. We're gonna turn into the Mediterranean, the Middle East. Yeah. Like, what? We're gonna turn into the Mediterranean the Middle East. Yeah What we're gonna take it, but he keeps saying and I don't follow

You know if you don't release the hostages just held a pay well, what what has hell what has he done? To help release the hostages? Now they're being attacked by fucking Yemen. I don't know. Release the fucking hostages and then maybe things will- How many hostages are left now? What is it, 70? I don't know because they keep dropping it.

Four hostages for 1, thousand prisoners or whatever, you know I mean that what they're doing. Whatever. It's a trade-off how many prisoners they got to give them for a hostage and You know these this would have never went on in this we would not have put up for I mean we did with Carter would Yeah, you're in hostages, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was written that was hot. Yeah, I think you're a fucking you're in there

And you're like Jesus Christ, I gotta be in here for four more months for this guy gets credit This is fucking crazy. Well, did you hear I didn't see it? I only read what These reporters and journalists what she said on 60 minutes. Do you think the hostages didn't feed you because they ran out of food? Oh That Hamas didn't feed the hostages? Because they ran out of food? Richard P. But I think she said what I read do you think the the captors didn't feed you because they Ran out of food. That's a crazy thing to say to someone who was a hostage. Yeah, I mean that's crazy I'm fucking 60 minutes a journal. How do you say something like that? That's a crazy thing to say but they're bad

The problem with these 60 minutes journalists is the same problem with what they did with the Kamala Harris interview where they Took a bumbling answer and edited it out and put an answer to she gave to something else in its place to make it Look like she gave succinct clear-cut answers. It's it's it's not really journalism. They're not no they're not doing journal That's not a question. You say to a hostage you yeah when you're talking to a hostage you want to find out what the experience was like in as compassionate a way as you can to talk to this person who's been through hell. You don't ask them, do you ever think that maybe

they didn't feed you because they didn't have any food themselves? Well, here you go, look at what their face looks like and look at the sunken in faces of the starving to death Hostages and well obviously they didn't they didn't give them any food so shut up It's you can't Watch the news you can't cuz you're gonna go it's not news anymore It's no it's not clickbait, and it's fucking it's a business, and it's a shitty business

It's not good at doing what it does, and it's all bought and paid for by pharmaceutical drug ads And it's just not the news. It's not you get some information that you can learn But it's not like the unbiased. This is what happened. This is what caused it. This is what's being done now It's not that it's like halfway there.'re kind of almost activists I had an argument with somebody close to me because I go on gut felt I try to go on once a month like I said and and she says oh oh you're you're pro Trump I go I'm not pro anything or anti anything. I go on, where else is a comic gonna sit for an hour? Try to be funny.

On TV? Yeah, on TV, for an hour. There's not much left. There's not, and it's definitely not gonna be on the left because they're not gonna let me say the things that I get away on the Gutfeld Show, and it's a great show. I mean, if you say something funny, they laugh. It's, to me, the closest to tough crowd, to me.

I see what you're saying. Not quite, but I know what you're saying. Not quite, but it's, I mean, it's fun. And it gets whatever views. And I said to this person, you work with the pharmaceutical companies for 30 years, and you're gonna tell me. Did they really? Yeah, and you're gonna tell me. Did they really?

Yeah, and you're gonna go on your high horse about me doing a show that's gonna help my career and build numbers, and well, it's not the same. No, it's worse. It's way worse. It's way worse. The pharmaceutical drug companies are responsible for who knows how many deaths and injuries. Yeah, they do good too.

Absolutely, some pharmaceutical drugs are great, but you can't be on injuries. Yeah, they do good too. Absolutely. Some pharmaceutical drugs are great, but you can't be on your high horse. You work for them. That's crazy. In any other business, they'd be in jail. They'd be fucking jail. If you lied about what your product does

and it kills a bunch of people, you're in jail. Can we talk about one of the reasons I'm here? I don't know if you remember this. I hope you do. I had this torn rotator cuff. Mm-hmm. And you said come down. Yeah, we're gonna get you some stem cells. Now what's the BPC? BPC 157. Is that bad? Which is better for the stem cells or the BPC? There's no one better. They're all very good. BPC 157 is it's called body protection compound 157 It's a peptide that helps heal soft tissue damage. So do stem cells. All the different things are good because I'm not getting my shoulders operated on. It's like a six-month

It's rough and it doesn't always work. So what exactly is wrong with your shoulder? Well, this is a torn rotator cuff right here. I have I even brought the disc the x-ray. Oh great Do you do any exercises for you do any rehabs for it? Not yet because I was waiting to do this to see where this took me and how I I would go from there But you know what? Exercises are always good like bands like band work. Yeah these kind of things We like you keep your you keep like a towel pressed to your body So you're holding in place and do these like rotations with bands like all those things are good just to keep everything strong anyway

Do you do any of that stuff not those yet? I have a guy I tried to hang from a chin up bar Not those yet. I tried to hang from a chin-up bar. You ever do this? No, for a torn rotator? Yeah. Just to strengthen and to release some pressure in your shoulders. Oh, really? Yeah. No, I could. It's good for shoulder health in general to hang from a chin-up bar. If you can't hang, what you do is like get on a box or something that brings you to the height of the bar and just hang a a little just could some weight on it until you can hang fully I mean look I can I can still play golf. I could swing like this. That's good. So this heart totally fucked

Okay, so when I went to the doc, there's a lot of things you can do rehabilitation things you can do that'll help you Here's here's the only thing and I could be wrong. You'll you'll know When they said, you know, rehab to build up the muscle. But I'm 67, how much more muscle am I building up? If you're 167, you can build muscle. That's a silly way to look at it. Oh really? Okay.

100%, if you're alive, that means your body's recovering. So that means your body's generating tissue, that means you can build muscle. Okay, if you can go play golf, you can your body's recovering. Yeah, so that means your body's generating tissue. That means you could build muscle Okay, if you can go play golf you could build muscle. Yes, 100% if you're 80 fucking years old and a woman you could build muscle I mean I work out still I just certain exercises I can do. Yeah, just you need to do Exercises that rehabilitate your shoulder. Yeah, you can't just expect it to get better on its own You're gonna have to put it through some work to strengthen the muscles around it. Well I'm gonna have to, like I said, after I do this. When are you leaving? When are you flying out?

Wednesday. Okay great. So we'll get you in tomorrow morning. No worries. Cool. Get you into Waste Well and we'll set it up. Did I bring the show to it with Dead Holt with my map? No! I thought it was a good conversation. Yeah it's good. It's a good map. You know, I got more stuff. I don't want to I put it out a bunch of stuff. I don't want to go back and have my fucking dumb two friends going Hey, you didn't bring anything. Oh, they do. Yes. What's my talking to them? Then they're my wife don't say anything stupid Then my wife, don't say anything stupid. Is that what she said?

Yeah, she goes, she goes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The best night your best what a great show would be what me Colin and Norton in here Phenomenal just like tough crowd You probably could do it today unless you did it on the internet But you can still do it on the internet like Colin should really bring it back I know there's plenty of guys that could still do it like Norton would be fucking phenomenal at it We just did Norton's podcast me Colin, Colin and Norton, whatever podcast, he's got 12 of them, him. And it was one of the most funniest things

when it comes out, you'll ever hear. Us three together, it's like a fucking. You get back in the old groove again, you know? Yeah, because we're just there to have fun. We're there to have fun. Tough crowd and Opie open Anthony were huge for comedy Huge because open Anthony one of the things that they did that was brilliant is they just let us just go wild Just be ourselves. They didn't really try to control it at all

You know Anthony would jump in with some funny shit But the whole show was like bring on a bunch of comics have them talk a bunch of shit give them give them the reins We I mean I could I was in there one day, Anthony was eating a piece of cake, I walked by him and smacked it out of his hand. He laughed as hard as anybody on the planet because the times we had had in there I was on there With were you with me when they brought in Marion Perry? Were you know you weren't there? You weren't there Marion Berry Marion Berry the fucking the mayor of Washington DC. They got arrested smoking crack

No, you were in there with him. Yes. Oh, that had to be a blast. We grabbed him. I thought you were in there. Norton was in there for sure. He was next door doing something and doing another interview. And he was in the hallway. And I think Opie said, Marion Barry's in the hallway right now. I'm like, let's go get him.

And we got him. We brought him in. And I started asking him about crack. He was like, well, nobody knows what was in that pipe. I'm like, well, you know. You know. You fucking know. What were you smoking that wasn't crack?

That's almost crazy. You know, oh, really, you smoke tobacco out of a glass pipe? One of my favorites is when he was running for reelection, which he eventually won after he got out of jail. They asked these people, do you have a problem with the fact that the mayor used to smoke crack? They interviewed this guy and he goes, oh everybody smoked a little crack every now and then. I was like, oh this conversation's over. This conversation's over.

I remember the times and I was in there one time. Pete Rose, Bobby Kelly, Ricky Gervais right And fucking Pete Rose called me because you look like some Rat face soccer player whatever he said it was very funny whatever Pete Rose. It was very fucking funny So I walk over to Bobby Then I walked past Bobby and I walked past Pete Rose and I sit down and Pete Rose says, why you out of breath? I go, because I had to walk around you two, fat fucks. But you could say anything you wanted on that show.

Yeah. And it didn't, it... Yeah, because I never went on it until it went to XM. You know, I was never on it when they were on terrestrial radio. When they got kicked off terrestrial radio, and then they got on XM, and when they were on XM, it was wild. It was like the first time. It was like, there was Howard, when Howard got on XM, or Sirius, I guess, first, before they merged.

And then the ONA show was on XM or serious, I guess yeah first before they merged and then The ONA show was on XM. Like this is fucking great. This is crazy. This is like what rate? This is basically green room talk green room talk for the whole world Well, okay, so I brought Patrice into ONA. Did you really? Yeah, I brought him in Wow He fucking smashed me today day I walked him in. Because we went through the back, we went through this way, now he goes, what do you think this is good, fellas? You walked me through the back, you couldn't take me through the front door.

So he became a fixture on. So one day we're in fucking ONA, and I'm driving this little Porsche Boxster, he's driving this big Escalade because you know, he's a fucking, you know, buffet molester and he's in this. So he's saying he's trashing one of my Rolexes going, you're a fucking selfish douchebag driving a Porsche to me going, yeah, so you can't have people, you know, and I'm not thinking, well maybe if you didn't eat fucking pound cake or whatever, you wouldn't eat a big S.

But he's beaten me down bad. I mean fucking killing me, I'm speechless, right? Speechless, he's fucking just pounding me. And I walk out of there, fuck. So the next day or two days later, I go online and he's trashing my car. I look at the price of my car, new, and the price of his car and I send it to him. I go, look, my shitty car costs more than your car, new.

And he calls me and goes, you're still thinking about this? He goes, really? You're thinking about it right now. Still, to this day you're arguing with him. No, I'm not. I should have. No. He, we would, I would drive him home.

One night I was driving him back to Jersey City. And I go to the bathroom, and we're walking up to his house. And he says, oh, man, I don't have a manager, an agent. Nothing's going on. I go, I can't get work. I don't have an agent either. Nothing. And we just both started cracking up and walking. It was the funniest thing.

We fucking I guess we were we were reading for the head of a sitcom for ABC me and Patrice We were gonna be the leads of this sitcom so we go into the head of casting at Marcy Phillips and He doesn't want to be there and I can't act so basically I'm not a good and at the time So he won't take his face out in a fucking copy and I'm trying to read with him the scene and he won't look at me and Marcy Phillips is yelling at me go. What are you doing? I go this fucking guy won't connect with me

How can I act with somebody that won't look at me? She goes you two please leave we laughed all the way down the hallway we laughed we just got kicked out of an audition as the leads of sitcom and we just cracked up all the way because it just to us was the funniest also a funny in the moment the idea of you getting a sitcom was so unlikely. It was always all so unlikely that when it failed, like if you went on audition and it fucked up, you're like, yeah, it wasn't gonna happen anyway. You never thought this is going to be it. Yeah, never once. No. Never. Never. I walked out of an audition once. I just got back from Aspen. I had a lot of heat in Aspen, but I this is when my anxiety I have I've had anxiety my whole life

21 I was hospitalized for anxiety when I was and they didn't know what it was They thought you were just nuts and gave you Thorzine and how doll and you shuffled around like a crazy man This is so explain to me what it feels like what is this anxiety like well that you know when I had it Hospital and I had it bad. Well, I felt so disconnected That even when I talked it felt felt like an echo almost Like I was outside of myself, right? Like if I look in the mirror, I'm going whom I look and it was just so so Disconnected and you were 21?

Yeah, 21. Smoking pot and stuff. Oh, that's it. Well, some of it was probably, where am I going in life? What am I doing? And you're getting high. And I'm getting high. Which is like, ooh!

If you're freaking out and you get high, ooh! Do you have to pee right now? No, why do you? Because you said you have to go to the bathroom. You were talking about your story then. Okay. Because I was like, preparing to like, cut it off and let you go to pee right now? No, why do you? Because you said you have to go to the bathroom. You were talking about your story then. Okay, because I was like preparing to like cut it off and let you go to the bathroom. No, no, no, this is the best day of my life.

Okay. Except for the fucking map. The map was great. The map turned out great. It turned out like a little conversation. Sure. I had to talk to fucking the listener. Oh thank God it's Monday.

Thursday, the Thursday ones are so much better. I'm at Monday. So, my anxiety, wait, what was, what did it feel like? Or what? Yeah, what was the, like, when you said it overwhelmed you to the point you had to go to the hospital, was your heart beating?

I was just, I didn't know what was going on. It turned into panic or whatever. Like I was so fucked up. My friends, you know, I was going, I was selling meat and seafood out of a car, out of a truck, some businesses back then. I went in this therapist, I go, help me, I'll give you some free steaks and seafood.

And I was just out of my fucking mind. I get anxiety talking about it. It really gives you a little anxiety. My friends go, let's take him to Florida. He needs a vacation. We drove to Florida. I was there for a day. I said, I got to get the fuck out of here.

Take me home. We drove there and drove back. Then I checked into the hospital, the fifth floor, basically, for fucking... Cuckoos. Cuckoos. Because they really didn't know what anxiety was back then. Isn't that crazy? Because that's not that long ago in human history. Well, I mean, it was 40-something years ago.

But isn't it nuts? Just like in the last 40 40 years how much they've learned well Yeah, but also too it's easier to say he that person's nuts give him Thor Dean Thor's Dean How whatever anti-psychotic drugs or and and I swear to God You know my day was Shuffle I would shuffle around The the floor with this girl. I mean this one girl. We shuffled, my friends came up to see me and I'm like, I can't see you today, we're going for a walk.

You know, I was like one fluid occlusion. I was fucking out of my mind. So. That could have been you for the rest of your life. Oh, Jesus. So, I know. Well, because I did do acid in my day, and people sometimes do that shit and never come back.

Never come back. And I saw that on Dragnet. So it's in real life. Yeah, it is real life. Sterns talked about that. He did a big dose of acid once, and he was fucked up for a long time. It'll fuck you up.

There's a guy from Pink Floyd that disappeared. Oh, I hope it's fucking Roger Waters. No, how dare you. How dare I. How dare you. What's his name again? Shine on you crazy diamond? Oh you mean he did acid? Yeah it's not just one person there's been a lot of people that had an acid trip and just never came back. My brother did it when we were doing it. He was real young and he was having a bad trip and I had to babysit him the whole day. Yeah, it's fucking scary.

Yeah, that's it. David Gilmore. So. Written by David Gilmore. But it's not, it's about, who was it about? Syd Barrett? That's right Sid Barrett did acid went crazy See right there departed from the band in 1968 after dealing with the mental health problems and substance abuse

The story is he never came back. It's crazy how That's the most that drug is so uncontrollable Well, also you like what's the dose of An effective dose is a droplet on your tongue, which is crazy. Well we were doing blotter or window pain, four way window pain. Who's making that? They're not making it in the same labs

where they're making Tylenol. They're making it in some fucking grateful dead-heads basement. Oh too much goes into that drop. So I got out of the hospital and for years, oh, I don't know how long it took, it passed. Life started getting better, whatever. Okay.

Then, and I would get anxiety, it would come and go, but back then, I didn't know what it was, it turned into panic. So then when I was 40, I would watch my kids, after I got divorced, I would have my kids every day. I would work nights and I watched my, I guess, four and six year old. My wife would either drop them off or I would pick them up then drop them off. I would have them in a day. My day was my kids, whatever. Go to the park, do this, do that, just watch my kids. So then they went off to school full-time, you know, first grade.

So now I'm at 40 years old, living in some fucking third-floor apartment, divorced from my first wife, bouncing off of fucking walls again. I mean fucking 40 years old. No purpose. No, just I'm going, I got a quick comedy, I got to go into the psych ward, I'm fucked up. This is fucked up

So I found this therapist who was also and I was already sober I found this therapist that was in recovery and he basically brought me back You know some medication Through his partner who was a psychiatrist. He was a therapist great I could talk I could say anything to him whatever, you know and Then it just got better and then I realized and worked knowing

Whatever anxiety I feel, it'll pass. Nothing lasts forever. It'll pass. Like I had a little anxiety for the last week thinking about this, I go, you know. Really? A little bit because, and we're friends, and I've done podcasts and Bonnie goes,

shut up and be funny, be whatever. You know, a million things went through my fucking head. I mean, shit, you've had fucking Trump on, you know what I mean? And that's my low self-esteem, because of course I should be doing everything in my mind. Do you see what I'm saying? Does that make sense?

But even when I did Tough Crowd, I was on 30 times. Every episode I had anxiety till it started. Every special or everything I've ever done, anxiety for the first second, I walk out, boom, gone. All right, it's just... Well, that's because you care. I mean, what you're calling anxiety is just nerves. Yeah.

Whenever there's... If you're doing something that's difficult or something that's important to you, you're going to have nerves. That's normal. It's healthy. That shows you're challenging yourself, which is one of the most important things you can do in life to stay vibrant. You have to challenge yourself.

When I did the Trump, when we roasted Trump, this was a fryer's roast, right? It wasn't, it's when they broke away from Comedy Central, right, they broke away. So it's at Hilton in New York, 2,000 people. Anybody that meant anything in New York, from club owners agents managers celebrities They were all there So the first act goes up this guy Stewie Stone old-time Catskill comment

He kills Like no one I've ever seen kill on a roast fuck you Trump fuck your casinos fuck you fucked it Just fucking slaughtered right and I'm sitting on the desk I'm sitting next to Isaac Hayes Opie and Anthony are there my father his wife Bonnie before I married her and and he I go I'm gonna end my career I go I'm gonna end my career here Okay, then Suzy Esman goes up Slaughters Slaughters, I guess I'm a rose wrote her some funny jokes and she and she's great at Rose

And I was ready to sneak off the fucking just leave I go it might be better if I leave didn't go up Well, then Bells are went up just leave. I go, it might be better if I leave than go up. Well then Belzer went up. Took a little wind out of the room. Took a little, you know. Yeah. So Regis Filman was the host. It was three weeks after Ronnie Dangerfield died. Three weeks. They introduced me. I go big hand for Regis. Originally, they asked Ronnie to host, but he said he'd rather be dead. Right? Zero. Almost zero. Right? But I got him back. I I go don't fuck with me I'll bring Belleser back and then Al Sharpton was sitting on the dais I can't believe I said this but back then it was okay he wasn't roasting him but he was on the

dais and that's when he was running for president and I said the only way you'll get on the White House property Is with a lantern in your hand? I said damn so fuck him. I didn't care and then I got him back Three of the jokes that I said Were the ones that were printed in this in in the newspapers, you know The one I did I go Trump the reason Trump puts his names on his buildings Is so the banks know which ones to take back And that was 20 years ago

But it was the most terrifying moment one it next to doing Jeff Sam as the first white guy Was one of the most terrifying moments in my I mean, I'm going I'm gonna end my career, but death jam You know death jam was on for five years the number one show on HBO I Go, okay. We're gonna use a white guy. It's me Right. So now I got white comics. You better be funny. I have black white comics are saying that to you Yeah I

Want to know what? 20 years ago the white comics that were doing black rooms You know what I mean, then there was black comics mad that I'm doing it and they're not you know what I mean So they're taping in New York every five nights. This is funny five nights Was that when they were filming in Harlem? It was it could have I don't know. It was in New York, Five Nights at some theater. And it was the year, I did it, the fifth year

when they had a different guest host every night. Like Martin Lawrence wasn't, one night, one show Chris Rock, Chappelle, Jamie Foxx, and Steve, what's his name? Harvey was my host, you know, so I'm going every night. I mean I wait one night and it was just so funny like Guy Guy Tory would come out and do the warm-up and he would say listen. This is not the Apollo There's no fucking booing here. This is HBO. We don't boo, right?

This is this is a whole nother level that we don't want here any boo So this comic comes out He walks out and with a black audience if you're wearing the wrong sneakers you're in trouble believe me I used to do a lot of these, you know, he comes like Reeboks. He's wearing an all-gold suit and His first joke in New York is I just want to say I'm not from New York. I'm from Canada He's bombing so bad and when a black audience can't boo you all you heard in the room was mmm camp boo you all you heard in a room was mmm child it was brutal so I'm what now they're taped five nights two shows a night I'm on the last night, second show, and I go second to last. Now all the

comics that were still in town that were the celebrity hosts, all the... we're at the taping. I'm going, this is one of the scariest moments of my life. I mean, you know, no white guy, Steve Harvey brings me out. He goes, whoa, our next act is something we haven't seen or special, whatever. And Russell made me wear his clothing. I got fat farm on and these baggy pants, you know? And I look back on it, because it was 25 years. It would be different.

I pandered a lot to some extent. You know what I mean? I did grow up in that neighborhood, but I'm out like this and all. And it worked out, luckily. But I look back and go, I would never do that now, from 25 years ago, the pandering and just talking like I'm fucking from the hood and shit.

And I had a good set, it worked out. But it was the second scariest moment in my career. But listen to what you just said. Both scariest moments of your career worked out great. Yes, they always, yeah. So wouldn't that eventually build some confidence? Oh, I have confidence. Okay.

It doesn't sound like it. Oh, no, I'm just talking about scary moments. Listen, you always got to question yourself in this business because you want to get better. You want to... You just, I don't know, I question myself. I go, I have, not again, not an ego, I have a reputation to live up to of the stuff I've done in this business. So I come out and people are going,

look, Bobby and Keith were at the cellar one night. I go, I got a spot at the underground. They go, we're gonna come over and watch you bomb. That sounds like Keith. Keith and Bobby, right? So, so, Nicky's, Nicky Glazer's on. Killing, killing. Not to clean this, but funny. I don't give a fuck what somebody does. She's funny and she was killing. So I went on and

my first two jokes, I had, they killed. And I go see Bobby see Bobby see Keith I can follow anybody right right well then I didn't know this they went into the back corners of the room and after every joke they would go oh and they had the whole audience turn on me going, what's going on? I would say a joke that might have been a little edgier, and they would go, oh, real loud. And so the whole audience is going,

what's this guy doing up there? They're groaning. One table goes, what's going on here? And I'm fucking bombing now cuz these two fucking jamokes are in the back room going oh my god It's so fucking funny Bobby and Keith Well that was the culture the culture of comic books was like constant busting balls. Constant busting balls. Somebody would go on stage and we would all go downstairs and sit in like the front row

and watch. There's nothing worse you could do for a comic and your friend sit in the front row and stare at you. You're like, what are you doing, man? When Kevin Hart was leaving New York to go to fucking LA He threw himself a little go away fucking show at Boston Comedy Club. You remember Boston? So he's on stage Pontificating doing whatever and I don't know why but me Keith and

Patrice were in the back of the room. And there was like 10 phone books back there. And he's up there, and we started throwing phone books at them. Phone books? Yeah, they were just in the club from, I guess they were delivered there, all these phone, and we're throwing phone books at Kevin Hart. And he says, on interview, he goes,

I knew I was accepted when they were throwing phone books at me. I knew I was accepted when they were throwing phone books at me. I knew I was part of the crew, you know, but we were just heaving phone books at him like fucking three assholes in the back of the woods room, I mean. And we would just, it was just fun. It was probably the most fun I've had in comedy when we would just stand out, me, Patrice, Keith, and Norton told three and four in the morning in front of Boston just trashing each other and laughing.

Just talking shit, yeah. Just, you can't replicate that. It can't happen again. It can't happen again. It was just so funny. Keith is, he's fun if you see him around, you know, or Norton or Bobby, but it was so much fun. I heard Keith is killing it now, even with his strokes. His special, we were at the tape,

and the fact that he didn't win an Emmy, it was so fucking good, his special. He painted a picture when he was talking. You could see everything he was saying. Him in the hospital, him with a stroke. It was so good. I walked out of there going, this is the best thing I've ever seen. It was so good. It was so good. Wow.

He was so good. You know, I don't know why he didn't, I mean it's, you know. Who gives a fuck about the Emmys? Yeah, who, fuck off. Everybody knows how good it was. All those fucking award, award shows for art to me are some of the most ridiculous things.

Yeah, really, how many fucking albums, oh, I don't even want to say her name, but they don't know. They don't know funny. It doesn't matter. You're right. It doesn't. It's just an industry way that they can celebrate each other, and then they put on a show, and the show generates money, and they make a bunch of money from the show,

and then it becomes a thing they hold over your head. Maybe you can win a Grammy. Maybe you can win an Emmy. Maybe you can win this. You got to be a part of the club like look what happened to Chris He wanted to be a part of that group doing the Oscars and he gets smacked by Will Smith They don't arrest him and then ten minutes later or whatever it was Will Smith's on stage is receiving the Academy Award They give a standing ovation. So it's fucking insanity that just that is Hollywood that that shows you what these people are The want their love and their respect is pointless It's so they don't even know what they like they like whatever anybody everybody tells them to like they don't understand what their support

They don't they it's just a bunch of people wanting to be a part of the group. That's the in group Like what do we have to do? What I have have to say? What do I have to agree with? That's all it is. Years ago, and it's true, if that was Chappelle, he wouldn't have smacked Chappelle. Because Chappelle's a little cut, a little bigger. Well, I don't know, the whole thing was crazy. That poor guy.

One move, he does one move, now everybody remembers nothing but that forever. But what? Fuck I Am Legend. Fuck Ali. All those different things he did that were awesome. Nobody cares anymore. You're like, that's the guy that's Yeah, but you're

every day he's going to wake up in the morning and go, fuck. That one thing. Fuck. If he hadn't done that, if he just ate it. And by the way, not even bad jokes. Like the G.I. Jean, like this the most fucking that was a powerful movie. It was a great movie.

Yeah. A strong woman. Like it's not even really an insult It was just silly to smack a guy like that and then that's your thing forever people gonna remember that yeah Yeah, crazy Blunders, you know and that probably comes from not having anxiety by the way that comes from having too much confidence Confidence too much too much confidence confidence too much too much Yeah, too much of a belief in yourself too much of a ego. Yes in your own importance that you can interrupt this entire Enormous award show the biggest award show in the industry that you're set up to receive a Fucking Academy Award in about an hour or whatever it was you're gonna go up there and smack a guy on TV

Why would you do that because he doesn't have that anxiety? or whatever it was, you're gonna go up there and smack a guy on TV? Why would you do that? Because he doesn't have that anxiety. So your anxiety shields you from doing something like that. Some stupid shit. Yeah, the fear and the insecurity sometimes is good. Sometimes it's good for you.

Keep, like the lack of insecurity could be the worst thing. If you're too cocky. Yeah, it's Yeah, they say be humble be humble, you know and I Thought Chris handled it as well as he what what can he do? What can he do other than? Yeah run off the stage Yeah, which you probably should have just walked off after that smacked because you try to keep going. Yeah, he's I worked with him on both Oscars he hosted and he is the nicest guy on the planet. I guess if you're, I don't know, just from working with him, you know. He's a very nice guy. He's a nice guy.

Also, he's harmless. Like you can't smack a harmless person. That's crazy. Yes. I'll tell you what, if that was Tony, there would have been a fight. If that was Tony Rock, there would have been a fight. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, well Tony went off on stage, like right afterwards about it. Yeah. Tony's a different dude. But Chris, like, almost if it was anybody but Chris, you know? I mean, you can't do that to anybody else.

It's crazy. If you did it to Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart would crack him't do that to anybody else. It's crazy. If you did it to Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart would crack him. The whole thing is crazy. It was crazy. It didn't make any sense. It's like the guy's in some sort of a very bizarre relationship with his wife.

And you know, whatever internal conflicts they have just manifested itself in a terrible decision that he made. If he would have said that about my wife, I would have smacked her and said, laugh. Ah! Laugh! It's funny! It's funny.

Come on. Yeah, see. But you know, not being able to take a joke is one of the worst qualities that people can have. Well, Holly. Do you not want, do you take yourself so seriously when someone says something funny, you can't laugh as well. That's crazy

You're missing out on laughs. Well, you're missing out on you are your own Joy, like you should have joy about someone making fun of you and you're great at that. You're great That's one of the best things about you on ONA is that when they would crack on you you would laugh Just it's so important. Good jokes. Yeah, we're funny you, you would laugh. It's so important. There were good jokes. There were funny. There were on time. And if I was at times lucky enough to come back with something, then I would. If not, then I sucked it up. The last time I did kill Tony a couple weeks ago and I told a joke and Tony goes, that's the oldest joke in history. And I go, yeah, I wrote it. So? So, okay, so shut the fuck up.

But it was a great episode because he fucked with me and I took it. Is that? Well, Kill Tony's one of the only places left where that kind of fucking with people is like openly encouraged. That kind of fucking with people is like, I mean, and Tony's the best roaster on the fucking planet.

He's quick. He's like Norton. He's so quick. He's and he's like Norton He's so quick. You think he just like Norton. He's so quick. You think he wrote it in advance Yeah, he's off the cuff. He does it all the time. He does it in the green room. He does it everywhere He goes well, but here's the thing too. He's done that show for ten years. Yes. He's built that muscle in his head Yeah, boom. Yep. Yeah wait, it's Automatic there's something's gonna come back. Well when you host a show like that, too

You understand the rhythm of the show the beats of it Yeah, like and he's so good at letting other people shine, you know, that's where he's really good It like he wants you to do well He wants he doesn't feel upstaged if Shane comes on his job Or when Kyle was doing Kyle did RFK jr. And he also did Elon Musk and then who Kyle done again Yes, yeah, you're so fucking brilliant Fucking good. He's so funny. He is so fucking funny. Yeah, and then he had Adam Ray who did dr Phil was fucking amazing and Biden

It's crazy. I did show so good. I did kill Tony twice with Adam Ray and He's fun to be with one. They love him. Yeah, they love him, but He laughs and gives you your due to like yeah I've done radio with your face your face is a big laugher. If you say something funny, he'll laugh and crack up. You know what I mean? And you gotta have that. Even, it's just, if it's funny, you know, they don't get jealous or get mad and go,

I'm gonna outdo that. They laugh. Well, the people that do suck. No one who does that is any good. What's that? No one who does that is any good. No one's like, oh, I gotta do better than him. Yeah, it's stupid. You're missing out on the whole thing Show it's a show. It's

Whatever. Hey, I got a piss. Let's come back. We'll come right back. So I heard you heard The stem cell I The stem cell, I can't do stuff for a couple weeks. You can do things. Golf? Yeah, for sure. With the stem cell? Yes, of course. If it gets shot into me Wednesday, what's tomorrow?

Tuesday. I could play golf Thursday. Yes. What about the BPC? Yes. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You just can't lift heavy weights. Oh, I'm not gonna lift heavy weights That's all it is. I don't tear it apart while it's building back up. That's the whole idea Don't aggravate it while you does that hurt when you do that? No, then don't worry about it. Not really fine No, no. Well, you should be doing rehabilitation. You should have already I'm looking at your shoulders right now They look they fall apart on their own You got a you got a exercise If you're having injuries with your shoulders and the muscles around them and people are telling you to strengthen them, you should listen to those people.

They're right. Well, no, listen, I went to physical therapy for my back and it's working, what I've done. So why wouldn't you do it for your shoulder? Because I was waiting to do this shit first to see. That would help. All of it would help. The more muscle that you have around your shoulder, the better it is.

It was only two or three weeks ago. He said go to physical therapy. I go well, he wanted to cut my shoulder. I said I'm not cutting it. I'm gonna try the BPC and the stem cell. So you can definitely heal soft tissue injuries without surgery. The real issue is when tendons are separated and they need to be surgery. The real issue is when tendons are separated and they need to be re put back in place and reconnected. That's the real issue. Well, a lot of people tour rotator cups. Oh, yeah. Tear rotator. Yeah, I have a torn rotator cup. I think I did it. I was doing upright rows with 50 pound kettlebells. And I think that was too heavy or too much. She got a trainer, Rich. Huh?

Got a trainer. I'm s- I'm doing all right. I mean, I know how to work out. No, but obviously you need some help. Nothing wrong with a little bit of help. I- I- Listen. Fuck. Look, do you want to get better or not?

Yes. Okay, get a professional. You're saying get a trainer for my shoulder or for my whole- For your shoulder, for everything, for all of it. So someone show you how to do it right so you're saying get a trainer for my shoulder or for my shoulder for everything for all of it So someone show you how to do it right so you're not hurting yourself. Well, I think I'm doing Triceps and biceps right? I know I am I'm doing listen right show me the guns. Well, they're not Then how you think you're doing them, right? They're not bad. That's ridiculous. What small it's tiny. Oh, listen It's there I make it see it. It's ridiculous. What small it's tiny. Oh, listen It's there I mean I can see it. It's hard. Is it?

My chest is nice. You want me to do my chest you want to see my chest? No, I'm good Take my chest out. No, no, no, there's no no reason my lats and traps are good. Okay, look First almost 68. I think I look better than Most people I went to school with that's good. I think I think Look I work out all the time, but I maintain okay. I maintain. I'm not I feel like a therapist I feel like I'm helping you through your life. You are how you got in here. You are helping I'm helping to guide you now get a fucking professional that knows how to work out And build yourself back up to the point. We don't not having these kind of injuries Yeah, and rehabilitate it like correctly like when they tell you to do physical therapy in your shoulder fucking do it

I'm gonna do it. I want this you waited three weeks. You're 68. You only have a few years left What the fuck come on? We have a few years. So well do it. You want a few years left and So then what the fuck? Come on. We only have a few years so. Well do it. You want a few years left in fucking working order. Fucking listen Bonnie. I mean. You should listen to Bonnie. You're right. I'm gonna fucking try. Do you think I'm never gonna get my arms bigger than that? That's ridiculous. Of course you could. At 68 you'd get your arms bigger.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. The reason why your arms exist at all is because your tissue's regenerating. Your tissue is, you're healing and you're getting better. Yeah. You 100% can get stronger. 100%. No if, ands or buts about it, you will get stronger.

I have nice lats and nice chest. You could be 87. You can still get stronger. As long as you're alive, you can get stronger. Because if your heart beats, if your hormones work, if you can move around, that means your body can repair itself. Well, I won't do What is it that gets you hard Girl no, no harm No, not the drug that makes you

To show you testosterone What's it called? You won't do that. Well because it's it What's it called? Testosterone? You won't do that. Well, because it makes it, it leads to prostate cancer. No, it doesn't. That's what my doctor told me. Your doctor's wrong.

He died. It's incorrectly. Your doctor's an idiot. He died two years ago. He's a dead idiot. He died two years ago. No, he doesn't know the real studies. Like there's a guy named Brigham Bueller

who runs Waste Well who could explain the flaws in that study that showed that it gave people prostate cancer. Look, people get prostate cancer. Testosterone's not giving you prostate cancer. It's like across the board, the same percentage of people that take testosterone or don't take testosterone get prostate cancer. There's probably a ton of variables.

A lot of it has to do with diet. A lot of cancer has to do with diet. Fuel of cancer is sugar. Do you eat a lot of it has to do with diet a lot of cancer has to do with diet Fuel of cancer is sugar. Do you eat a lot of sugar? I stop for a year. I'm back. I'm gonna get back on I pretty fucking good for the last month and a half. I have it for the last and I'll for a year Yeah, there's environmental factors. It's genetic factors There's a lot of different things, but you know, if you want to take care of yourself, testosterone will actually make your body heal better. You'll feel better, you'll have more energy, your immune system will function better, everything

will work better. You should have your hormones balanced. Like this is, we live in a time where you can get a full blood panel and find out where your nutrient levels are, and if you do it with a good doctor, what they'll do is they'll adjust your diet and your nutrients first, and then see like in a couple months what your levels are then and then find out how much are you sleeping? Are you sleeping right? Well, there's a problem there because then your body's

not recovering. So you've got to figure out a way to adjust something in your life to make you sleep better. And then after that, once they get everything all worked into its optimum rate, you're doing all the right things, they go, what are your levels now? Okay, we'll add a little. Add a little bit of testosterone. Peptides that'll increase your body's ability to promote growth hormone. There's stuff like samoralin that makes your body produce more growth hormone so like your body repairs itself better like when you're younger. There's all rigorous science behind all this stuff.

It's all this many. I'll get Brigham to explain it to you. He'll do a much better job than who's that you got tomorrow. He's the guy who owns Waste Well. Yeah, he's been on the podcast. He's testified in front of Congress and my brain. I'll bring the disk with bring the maps to love the maps. Let me tell you something about these maps these maps

I printed this shit out. I see I Looks like you're pretty needs a Pretty dull Fix your eyes. Let me work pretty good. You want to see some other statistics. I go. All right, what else you know? I want to please don't see those girls land today the blue origin They shot that metal dick up into space People were mad. They wouldn't let the ladies drive Harry and someone else Katy Perry Lauren Sanchez Jeff Bezos his wife If that thing blew up and if just Jeff Bezos his wife

Blew up with it Twitter thinks it's the capsules too clean. They don't think it was real obviously of course Twitter Twitter doesn't think space is real There's a whole community out there hashtag space is fake Yes, oh yeah, there's really retarded people who think the earth is flat and that there's a firmament look at that They think birds aren't real did they land is it over? Yeah, they did it yay Birds aren't real. Did they land is it over? Yeah, they did it. Yay How'd they land in the ocean on the desert? How long?

Shoots they land with parachutes. Yeah, so the thing lands with a parachute. Oh, yeah. Let me see I want to see the video. Oh, that's them in the middle of the desert Wow It's got it looks different than that. That has to be crazy. That is would you do that rich would you like space? That has to be crazy. Would you do that Rich? Would you go to space? Probably not. You think you'd get anxiety if you went to space? I don't even like Ferris wheels Well those two things are very different. Is that it? Yeah, you know what? Let's see the landing How long did they go for? Very soft, soft landing. Look at this. Here it is.

Imagine from space and the only thing we got to land you is a parachute. Like one of the oldest technologies. Wow. You can hear them in there. Blue eyes. Screaming. Wow. How long?

How long were they up there? I don't know Not isn't it fine that they screamed do you think the men would scream like that? Would you and I scream like that if we landed well? I don't know about you, but I know me look at that one No, we're gonna go back one below it I'll tell you what I'll never do is clap when a pilot lands. You don't do that. That's his fucking job.

It's true. What if it's a female pilot? You're like whew. I wouldn't have got on the plane. No. There was a bunch of them in a row where I was like, Jesus Christ. The Delta one in Canada where it flipped upside down yeah can you imagine it just started landing planes recently

like yeah take that one out in the icy runway here's 30,000 no I'll wait for the lawsuit blue origin declined to say how much the flight cost or who paid for it trip came two months before Sanchez and Bezos to marry in Venice oh they're gonna marry in Venice in two months oh they haven't married yet okay I thought they're married um that's hilarious they're gonna do it in Venice. Oh, they're gonna marry in Venice in two months. Oh, they haven't married yet. Okay, I thought they were married Um, that's hilarious. They're gonna do it in Venice. Oh how beautiful and romantic Wow, yeah quick you can't tell people how much it costs cuz then there's gonna be retards like that money could have housed So many houseless so many unhoused could have benefited how many poor people yeah these fucking retards like if Elon Musk gave a million dollars to everyone

on earth you'd have money left over there's all these mathematicians out there that are fucking constantly want to comment on other people's money and how convenient and now and those people would fuck up that money too yeah you know it the rich people are the problem. I'm rich but I'm not as rich as the richest people so everybody richer than me is a problem. Ah fucking house. All these people, all these fucking people. Yes I own three homes but I'm a United States senator and I'm worth millions and millions of dollars but everyone richer than me is the problem., it's a rich rich rich people not the regular regular rich. Oh that tour. There's so many even AOC Wondering yeah tax the rich remember share that fucking dress you are tax rich. How about fuck off?

What are you gonna do with the taxes? That's the problem when when doge is uncovering 250 million dollars. It was spent on with the taxes, that's the problem when when Doge is uncovering $250 million that was spent on animal transgender studies where you're fucking chopping the dicks of mice and turning them into pussies. Fuck off, fuck off with your tax the rich. How about you fix the world without taxing the shit out of everybody? How about get rid of that? There's other ways. I can't even tell you what I sent the other day to the IRS It's just fucking and I'm you know, just a regular fucking, you know, so much money I'm like, well they're complaining about Elon. He doesn't pay taxes Elon paid more taxes last year than any human being that has ever walked the face of this nation

That's a fact. So shut the fuck up. It's like there's never, it's never enough. And people that don't have, always look at people that do have like, what you could do with that money. What you could do with your money you fuckhead. 1% in the world, you know what it is? If you're a 1%er in the world you know what it is if you're a one percenter in the world know what it is $34,000 a year no yes if you make 34,000 American dollars a year you were in the top 1% of planet earth get the fuck out. Oh, well cuz you're comparing it to the rest of the world

The whole plan worse most people are dirt poor yes people well so all this bullshit about whether he could do that money well you're saying that from your fucking Manhattan apartment where you're uber and all over the place and getting fucking takeout shut your mouth listen when I was in Cabo working there it was amazing you drive to the airport people are living in fucking shacks there. Yeah, it's it's horrible. It's horrible, but Look and it's this sounds narcissistic I came from a Major major drug addict and I turned my life around it's all You got to find a way to do what you can

for yourself. I don't give a fuck where you are. I grew up with dudes from heroin addicts to people with five kids at fucking 22 or whatever and a lot of people made it out of there and found a way to be successful. Yeah, you can look at it that way. But the point is, like, looking at people that are uber successful and telling them what they should do with their money is just the dumbest shit. And that's why I don't want to give out how much money it costs to fly this rocket ship into space. Of course it's frivolous and gratuitous.

Of course. It's a publicity stunt. They had a bunch of hot ladies. They flew them off into space and then they landed. Yay. Now you've been to space But basically you're in space for like 10 minutes. That's what the flight was It probably cost a billion dollars to fly people in the space for 10 minutes Wow Fucking clubs you could have bought me Many golf clubs, I'm a cop club. That's your thing, right? You're just a fucking inveterate golfer, right?

I love golf. Yeah. It's fun. Jamie, Jamie should show you his setup back there. Yeah. He's got a driving computer with a big screen. I have, I was hidden in this morning into the screen. I, I.

You bring the screen with you? I just went out to the hotel. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, to Thompson. I went down, worked out twice. Shouldn't tell people you're staying. No, I'm not staying there.

I walked over there. Oh. And used their screen. Really? Yeah. No shit. Yeah, I bought my clubs. Yeah, and plus this isn't live.

You and Jamie should fuckin' have a little driving contest. I think Jamie. I played with him and Tony before. We played together? Yeah, a couple years ago, like two years ago. Oh, with me, you and Tony before we played together. Yeah Oh years ago like two years ago. Oh with me you and Tony, right? Yeah. Oh You won. Yeah, how good do you play? How good is Jamie? I don't recall I mean, I'm not good either. So it probably I shoot anywhere from 82 to I want to break a club. I

Don't know what any of those numbers 82 is pretty good sometimes. I've shot in the 70's. How is it, Jim? Pretty good? Yeah, very good. Pretty good? I've shot, I played. That's for 18 holes. Yeah.

When I was a kid, the guys who golfed all the time were the guys who weren't paying as much attention to their career. I remember thinking like a lot of these guys are kind of stagnant because they're golfing all day. Yeah. They were golfing all, in Boston, those guys were golfing all fucking day long, get hammered. in Boston Those guys were golf all fucking day long get hammered that you go out with no guys

Oh that I started out with the golfers all wound up spending so much time Playing golf. I thought it was like wow, that's a big distraction. I Should have some activities, but don't golf is like how many hours four and a half. That's a lot of hours It's a lot of hours, but also too it makes you disconnect from though all the bullshit that's going on That's in life. You know you don't have to deal with Whatever you know you go off for comics too, so you get some calm. Yeah, I think I'm gonna golf If I can after you I get these shots Thursday with a Aaron Berg I think I'm gonna golf Yeah, you definitely can you could golf on Thursday for sure. It's golfing is not gonna fuck it up

It'll be sore for a day or two after you get the injections. Yeah, you'll be fine We're gonna clean you up Rich Foss clean up your life. Thank you. We're gonna do it. Haha. Yeah check in with me I'll tell you what to do. I Look, I'll show you my chest. Don't do it I'll show you a picture. I I don't care So you're saying from here on? Yeah, you're not saying what what are you gonna? You gonna impress me with your chest? That's crazy. Well, you say I got small arms. I gotta say well I got your telling me they're big I never once said my arm good your triceps and your biceps are good. That's crazy

Listen, let me explain something to you. Okay fucking waffle neck No, I call my kids that Okay, you're right they're not big but they're hard okay, and they're not flabby Okay, I'm not I'm not some flabby congratulations What the fuck what you want credit for being okay? Yeah? Yeah, that's crazy No, I whatever happened to mr. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps get your shit together What about all that talk? That's hey barely doing anything. You're like, you're okay. I Work out six days a week. I lift do you yes. I have a nice gym in my basement Do you think if I worked out with you I'd be impressed at the effort that you not in the least

I could do I could I do 500 crunches. That's amazing. I could do. I do 500 crunches. That's amazing. I do zero. I don't do any crunches. What do you do sit ups? Yeah, I do a lot of different stuff. Yes. Do you do planks?

No, I think planks are nonsense. So do I. They're uncomfortable. It's hard to do. Don't get me wrong. But I think in terms of an exercise for your core, it's kind of nonsense I think you should do things

First of all, you should almost always do things that have a range of motion Like when you're you I like to do things that make my body work as a unit Uh-huh. So all the ab exercises that I do I do a lot of different things for abs. I do reverse squats You know what those are? You put your ankles, strap your ankles to a cable machine, you lay on your back and you pull towards you. Oh, I know. I do those. Well, I got one of those machines where I put my knees in it and I pull up to get the bottom.

Okay. Yeah, that's good. Those are good. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Those are good. Anything where you work your whole core. And then you got to also do the opposite side, back extensions. Yeah, I, that's good. Those are good. Sure. Yeah, those are good anything where you work your whole core you and then you got to Also do the opposite side back extensions. Yeah, I do that. I do it on that thing. I show you show me. Yeah, I'll do back because And I got to lose another 10 pounds again. I gained it back during but it comes and go And because I have lower Disc problems and you know, I'm getting a sciatica. So whenever I lose weight, I'm in much better shape.

I could tell by when we got on that stretching machine, the decks, your body doesn't go all the way down. It's tight. Your lower back is very tight. Oh, I'll go in there right now and go all the way down. I was just doing it. Just, uh, no, I'm saying there's tension. Yeah, of course.

You see how my body hinges? Yeah. My body just hinges. It just goes down there. There's no tension. Yours is like, you stop like right there. You probably could go all the way down, but your body doesn't want to.

The point is there's tension in your lower back. Well, I've never used that machine too. It was my first time. Stop with excuses. Do you stretch? No, I don't. On stage, if. It was my first time. Stop with excuses. Do you stretch? No. On stage, if they need me to do an extra 20. I've done it two hours. If D.L. Eugley and I'm middling

and he's coming four hours late. Back in the day, I was working the counter lines and I was opening for D.L. And I'm doing all my good stuff up front. Oh no. It's all over the stretch and I go stretch. I'm going, what am I going to do now? He wasn't there yet. No, he was worse feeling the world walking in with all your best material and they're telling you to stretch like, I don't have any scouring your brain.

You're scouring your brain. Well, luckily for you, you can work the crowd. Yeah. So I know what was the question. Am I doing, you can work the crowd. Yeah so I now what was the question am I doing do I stretch? Yeah. Yeah I do for my back I have this extra I lie down yeah and I pull this back like that. Okay. That's good for my lower back. You know what that is? Do I know what it is? You know I'm talking about. Yeah yeah yeah I know what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do that. Crossing your legs and leaning forward.

Yeah. And I pull it back. Right. And then when I'm doing sit-up crunches, I'll do it either on that machine or I'll pull my legs this way, too. So I'm getting my lower. You move like, oh my God. First of all, I know the crew you have come in here, a lot of them.

None of them work out at all. All right. A lot of them Yeah, none of them work out at all all right a lot of them do who doesn't work out at all name one No, I don't want name again Arne Ari Ari doesn't work out at all okay. Yes one. That's true. Maury Norman I don't know if Norman works look at him mark Norman. Norman definitely works out. Oh, he does he runs He can do a lot of pull-ups and setups from audiences He loved you know what I like talking to mark he loves comedy Oh, he loved and he knows the history of it, but he knows the history of it like he like you'll talk to comics now and

Go. Oh Steve Lannis Berg was funny just who is that or look at him come on man oh shit he's ripped he's ripped I don't like that are you that now you've got now I've heard it hurts me to see that oh fuck he's not holding up a newspaper we don't know when that was shot. Who cares when it was shot? You never looked like that What are you gonna do take your clothes off? No, I'm gonna take a picture He looks fucking good there. Yeah, he does. He looks good. So does his wife. God damn it. Yeah, look at that right there He's got boxing gloves on and an iPhone. He's in shape man You're incorrect. All right, so bad, right? No, I don't

Shane works out. He's here all the time. This're incorrect. All right, relax. You feel bad, right? No, I don't. Shane works out. He's here all the time. This is not working out. We work out. Shane works out? Yeah, he comes in, uses the gym. We work out together. We put your glasses so you can find your abs.

What did I put on? What did I put on? What did I put on? Let me find, You're really somewhere. Alright, listen to me, fucking... You are looking for your glasses. Are you going to find a photo of you looking good? Forget about that. That's the past. Let's concentrate on now.

Let's concentrate on it. Put away the cookies. Put away the sugar. Listen to your doctor. He tells you to rehab your shoulder. Get yourself in shape. I can't believe we're doing this. You know, people are listening. They can't see this. I, I, they couldn't see the picture of him either. Yeah.

But I mean, this, you being on your phone here, looking for a photo of back in the day when you looked reasonable. This was recently. How long ago? What happened? What happened? Oh, fuck. Oh Jesus.

Look at you. They look good there. Oh, not bad. Okay. You look pretty good right there. What happened? It's not that bad now. How long ago was this? 2018. Oh, that's pretty recent. That's pretty recent. Yeah. Pre pandemic. A lot of people part during the pandemic. That's what happened. And then I came back on track for a year a whole year and then January Canada Oh Canada did you Canada communism? Poutine oh It's good. Oh, it's so good. It's late night late night poutine Just it's just pure heart attack. They have different delis in Canada

Like we used to go to Montreal those they call it smoked meat. Yeah, it's basically like going to Cantor's right or going to cats I've been to a couple of those smoked meat. Oh phenomenal but you know if you I heard and I know it it's true, if you eat too much smoked meat, you can get stomach cancer from that, from all that smoked meat. Who fucking told you that? This guy with stomach cancer. Pfft.

No, not true. Smoked meat is not what it is. There is some connection between burnt meat, like the carbon in burnt meat and cancer. I think it's colorectal cancer, but I do not know how robust those studies are. I mean, people have been cooking over fire forever. I just don't, I don't buy it.

There's a lot of bullshit involved in these studies that tell you that this causes cancer, that causes cancer. Here's what 100% causes cancer. Herbicides, pesticides, chemicals, forever chemicals This causes cancer that causes cancer. Here's what 100% causes cancer herbicides pesticides Chemicals forever chemicals that are in your fucking food that plot that paper cup that you're drinking out of when you drink hot liquids out of a paper cup We got to throw those fucking paper cups We have have you seen what Paul Saladino did when he dissolved a Starbucks cup and it shows you what's really at the base of it

It's basically a condom in see if you can find Paul Saladino. You got all those paper cups. I'll take them. I know I saw them today I poured my croppy in this we're gonna get rid of all our paper cups I'll take them paper cups for hot liquids are fucking stupid really the the lining of those paper cups is plastic So you're basically pouring hot liquid into plastic, which is the worst Okay, like look at, see, he shows. Oh yeah. So he's dissolving the paper cup, and that's what's inside of it.

So you think you're drinking out of a paper cup, but it's not really paper. It's plastic. There's a plastic lining, and that's the only reason why those coffee cups from Starbucks hold paper. So hot water to plastic. Give me some volume on this.

Chemicals, PFAs, anything in that plastic is leaching into your drink. It leaches into your coffee drink. So do not think you're getting a paper cup. You are getting a plastic cup and you are putting hot water into it. That's a horrible, horrible idea. Look at that.

It looks like a condom. What's the solution? Glass jar, get your coffee in a glass jar or a stainless steel mug. Simple solution, don't expose hot liquids to plastic like this, horrible idea for your hormones, horrible for your body. Send this to somebody you know who drinks hot coffee

out of paper cups like this and needs to get them out of glass or stainless steel. You think this is a- Yeah, there you go. My wife, she won't drink that, she knows all the shit. She's a reader. You should listen to Bonnie. I try to.

She meditates, she's really good. She's a reader. You should listen to Bonnie. Just listen to Bonnie. I try to. She meditates. She's really good. You know, each super smart. She's smart. It was just weird, the two of you guys together, that it works. It's crazy. It's like, you know what I, here's the deal. What month, what are we at? April. April.

April. 15th, 14th, 14th? April 14th. So let's go April 14th made June 30th. I'm back here at the club on my birthday. Okay, so you're gonna look good. I'll look I'll look all right I'm gonna go to June 30th. We'll take a picture. I'll put it on my Instagram. Take your shirt off flex Not now. No Okay, giving you time. Yeah, I want to give you a goal June 30th. Is that enough? Yeah

Yeah, sure absolutely two months. Yes in two months. You can lose 20 pounds of fat and look great Yeah, just eat healthy Just get on a very low carbohydrate diet. That's what I did. I'm not doing keto. I'm not gay, but I went okay a Little I when I try to cut carbs. Let me tell you something It was easier for me to quick crack It was car really well. I never gave anybody a hand job for a Kaiser roll Part of my act folks he's killing June 30th the week. I'm here, right? I

Don't know how much bigger my arms will be you don't have to just be just to speak look at more cut I'll get you look good, but I think I look okay Well, we're gonna get you a blood panel tomorrow to the final where your hormone levels are at find out what the fuck is wrong With you. What do you mean? Oh, that's shit blood panel with the draw blood blood they'll draw blood and then send it to a lab Do not tell me I have cancer they could if you want to know no you don't want to know I already had blood tests At my doctor's office. They said your blood. Did you doctor do a comprehensive cancer scan? Did prostate yeah, just looked in your asshole. That's all they know with the blood and and look at my sugar levels They can do this

Incredibly comprehensive blood panel they draw they dig a lot of blood out and then they send it to a lab and they find out Whether or not you have a I have zero cancer. I'm super happy because when they did it I was like, oh I have the same feeling I don't know if I want to know this it's a skit waiting for fucking Start thinking about it. It's our mind fucking yourself laying in bed at night. Like what if I have it right now? What if I find out tomorrow and I have four weeks to live? It's fucking too much things. I when I went back in the day Everybody like went for the AIDS test after you got clean that I remember my first AIDS test So I got my age so scared. Okay, this is true my doctor

Whenever I went to my doctor and took any test, he would call me and say, everything's fine. They would call and say, everything's fine. So I took an AIDS test. The doctor didn't call you. And I get a call from the doctor, and he said, can you come in tomorrow? I'm going, what do you mean come in tomorrow?

My heart dropped, because he would have said, everything's fine. I go, what do you mean? Why tomorrow my heart dropped because he would have said everything's fine I go what do you mean? Why do you want me to come in tomorrow? He goes your tooth came in and We want to put your tooth. It was my dentist, but I heard a doctor I thought it was my real doctor telling me I have fucking AIDS You know cuz everybody took that test in the in the 80s when I first got Insurance I had to get a AIDS test in the 90s and I remember the doctor I said boy

I'm fucking real nervous about this and the doctor said are you gay? I said no he goes do you do drugs? I don't know he goes don't worry about it. You don't have it. I go really he knows Yeah, I go what the butter about the fucking news Yeah, the news is freaking me out where I'm scared to touch fucking doorknobs Like how come welcome the news is saying that everybody's gonna get a's listen No one's getting it other than gay people and people who are interviewed intervenes drug users Well people on my block were dropped. We went to see peewee in a hospital and all the nurses were wearing masks So we go I think he has that thing nobody Nobody even knew what the fuck to, you know.

Yeah, they thought it was contagious. By the way, that was Fauci too. Back then? Yeah, who's responsible for all that? Fauci was responsible for people freaking out about AIDS. Fauci was on TV back in the 80s telling people that children could possibly catch it from people. Yes.

Wow. Yeah, do you know the Dallas Buyers Club? Where they were limiting the medication that gay people could Yes. Yeah. You know the Dallas Buyers Club where they were limiting the medication that gay people could take. That was about Fauci. He was responsible for that. He was the one who pushed AZT on people back then. AZT was that chemotherapy medication that was killing people quicker than the cancer was. They stopped using it on cancer and they repurposed it and started using it on people that had AIDS. It didn't help you. It kills you dead. They were giving it to people that didn't even have any fucking symptoms. They had HIV, they had no symptoms, they'd given them AZT, they were dying in months. It was the only time ever in medical history where they were

telling you to take a chemotherapy drug indefinitely. Every time you take chemotherapy the idea is that it gets your body close to death but kills off the cancer. They were telling you to keep taking it. Just keep taking it. It's nuts. What they did is madness. If you read Robert Kennedy's book, The Real Anthony Fauci, it's all about that. And the beginning of it is all about the AIDS crisis and all the different things that they did that mirrors exactly what they did during the COVID crisis. So what drugs are they using now? They started using protease inhibitors and that really helped.

The whole AIDS thing is very complex. It's very complex because the vast majority of the people that got AIDS were heavy drug users. Heavy drug users were gay guys who were experiencing a lot of different sexual partners. But it was because of blood being transferred. Yeah, that's part of it. But it's also part of it, you're destroying your immune system with fucking drugs. Like these guys were taking amyl nitrate and crystal meth and partying and not sleeping,

just crushing their immune system. Plus sharing needles with the blood going from them. Yep, that too. And then they would get them on medication that would definitely kill them. And then it was a crisis. And then everybody was running around scared. And I was scared too until I talked to my doctor. He just looked me in the eyes.

But no one could say that back then. So this is like 90, maybe one maybe, maybe 91, 92. When I went in, and when I got, and my doctor was like, don't worry about it. I was like, what about the news, man? I remember talking to this guy. He was a young guy.

I was like, why is the news telling me I could get... He goes, heterosexuals aren't getting this. Unless you're an intervist drug user, don't worry about it. I only checked because I shot dope maybe three times. What was it like? I didn't like it. It was just not... I was more of a up, you know, you know, shooting dope to feel like what it feel like just down and I can't it wasn't

I did it with Bastille and he was a major drug. He was a major one. He was funny though. Frankie was funny. I remember seeing him for the first time when I was an open micer in 88. Yeah. And he was just a wild dude. He was like one of the first guys I ever saw with tattoos, all these tattoos. And they're like, he does heroin. Yeah. Oh, heroin. When someone did heroin back there and it was crazy, like what he does heroin. Now, think about how many people are hooked on opiates. Well then it was super rare. Well the difference between heroin and like Freebase, you can function on heroin. There's functioning heroin addicts for years. Do it.

You can't function on Freebase or Coke. You gotta keep having it. I had a buddy of mine who was a longshoreman and he would tell me that this guy he would work with, and not just one guy, but one guy that he would work with, that he was a friend, on his lunch break, break get a bag of heroin shoot it up in his car Sit there for a half an hour and then go back to work. Yeah Crazy, you can't do that with free base. It's non-stop. You got a key

So does that your thing free basin? Yeah free base free. What was it? How old were you when you first free based? Well, I when I first got high I was 15, you know, pot. I lead my way up to the gateway. The gateway to drug. Yeah, coke. And then- So snorting coke. I snorted coke probably when I started

when I was 18 or 19, right? And then when you went to crack. Crack probably 25 to 28. Do you remember the first time you did it? I think it was with my cousin. Yeah it was like I go this is good. I mean I guess there was what here I'll tell you what so I got so many of them. So my friend I was on the road I came back he goes look I'm gonna buy an eighth of Coke, cut it into five halves, five half grams. That's right. Okay.

And we'll do two half grams, and I'll sell the other three. I know where this is going. Well, we did one or two, and then he went to sleep. And so, this is fucked up. And then he went to sleep I find I found where he hid it. Oh So he didn't hide it as good as you hide your money. No, I

Went in and I steal one at a time. I Drove to the convenience store. I cooked it with ammonia, right? Ammonia. Yeah, clear ammonia. Wait a minute, you actually cooked the Coke and turned it into crack? Yeah, with ammonia. Yeah. Why would you do that?

Is it better that way? Oh, that's how you get free-base crack. You gotta process it. You could do it with baking soda. You could do it in a boil it. Who taught you how to do this? Are you a chemist? No, I was a crack addict. Who taught you that crack addict other crack addicts were like giving you the recipe just three ways to do it so I did it

with order for with ether which you could blow up your house so I would steal a half a gram from them I would go to the convenience store I'd cook it smoke it and pour out the ammonia. I said I can't well, how do you do it? I yeah, I don't want to help you put it in it's the internet chat GBT. Oh, yeah Yes chat GBT right now. I'll tell you how do you take cocaine and turn it into freebase? You put in a teaspoon and you light it and it turns into a rock teaspoon and you light it and it turns into a rock okay and then you squeeze it you squeeze and try to get the ammonia out as much as you can in the rock so I would pull I would get the ammonia steal a half a gram from him uh-huh go to the bright early in the morning come back cook it pour the

ammonia out well now, now I would... Chad CB2, the chemistry behind it. How it's made. For educational purposes only. Not intended to encourage illegal activity. Bacon soda, I said. You could do it now. Cocaine hydrochloride powder with baking soda and water.

Sometimes ammonia is used instead of baking soda, but baking soda is more common for crack. Heat the mixture. As it's heated, the cocaine bases separate from the hydrochloride and form solid rocks that float to the top. Cool and dry. This is like a recipe. Solid pieces, the crack rocks are cooled and hardened, then dried. So there you go. I emptied out the first bottle. Then there was two or three more half grams. I went and stole another one. Went back to to the convenience store bought more ammonia After the fourth trip to the commuter, so I go hey listen. I got a clean in business. We need a lot of ammonia

Well, I smoked all his coke and I all of a sudden I hear somebody yell fuck He woke up and saw his coke was gone. How many hours it passed? Fuck, he woke up and saw his coke was gone. How many hours had passed? Probably four. How many trips to the convenience store? Four. And I was just drinking straight vodka, right? Whoa.

And I'm walking home. Now I'm $250 in debt. And it was towards the end of my career. As a crack addict? As a drug addict, crack, yeah. I like how you call it a career. That was a crack career. As a crack addict? As a drug addict crack. I like how you call it a career. That was a crack career. Well, I think I told this story years ago, but I'll tell it, and he doesn't care because

he told it in his book. So me and Frankie are doing a one-nighter, and back then I had the car. You would pick up an act at the Improv and then go do the One Nighter in Jersey. So we pick up this comic, little white guy, whatever. We go to our One Nighter and we're supposed to drop him off at the Improv. And I go, hold on, I got to make a stop. And we go up to Spanish Harlem. He goes, what are you doing?

I go, my sister lives here. She's not doing well. You know, there's, there's people chasing, there's people chasing people with knives up and down the street. And I go up and buy crack free base, right? And the kids like, get me home, take me back to the improv. What the fuck is going on? Right. Well, relax. So now we go down to the Lower East Side and Frankie gets heroin. And the kid, now Frankie's in the back seat tying up, shooting heroin. While you're driving?

Well, I'm driving. He's in the back shooting. Oh my God. And the kid is fucking scared to death. He's a little white kid. He wanted to be Jerry Seinfeld. It was David Spade Little like it from Arizona, do you remember when he first started he tells the story in this book and I apologize to him He goes, oh, don't worry. It's a good story, right? But we kept him hostage as I'm smoking crack and Frank he's banging dope

Oh my god, I heard Otto and George story once he he's working on a club and in Jersey I don't need to name the club and he leaves the club with the owners daughter and They're headed into New York and there's another guy driving the car. He stops off at Washington Square Park And there's another guy driving the car. He stops off at Washington Square Park picks up a bag of crack and start smoking it in the car and the girl freaks out and the He says the classic line goes what I thought the broad wanted a party I just did a documentary about him. They interview me. They're doing documentary on Otto and George Well well we did a lot of those shows those prom shows yeah I don't want

George oh he was yeah he would he was genius I would yeah but I drive with him to a gig and he would go do you know what George thought of today what you fucking psychopath you're here when you make people pull over so he could go check on George George is in the trunk over so he could go check on George. George is in the trunk. He would pull over and check on George. I think there's something to that. I think that dummy had a mind of its own. And he might have been,

he had some weird personality disorder where he put a personality to that dummy. But that dummy, when that dummy would say things, you knew it was George. Yeah. like it didn't even feel like it was It felt like George had his own thoughts on things I worked with a ventriloquist once and I go into his room on the road and he's Putting away the dummies clothes in another dresser drawer than his He's like putting away the clothes of the dumb holding the clothes., of his dummy. Here's a bit I kind of want to do. You know back in the day you

know when there was bank robbers outlaws they would wear a handkerchief and go rob a bank. Well I want to be the outlaw ventriloquist where I go up a little dummy and put a handkerchief This way they can't see my lips move, but I could say I'm the outlaw ventriloquist And I could do a whole five minutes and everybody's going he must be great. I can't see his lips move That's good But you're supposed to talk to like the whole part of the fun of being a ventriloquist But I would say Otto would say I can't believe you're saying that, George.

Yeah. How do you shut the fuck up? The eyebrows would pop up and he'd get crazy. Like it's the banter back and forth. I'll talk behind the mask. I'm not going to do it, but how come? Terrible idea. Okay.

So I threw it out. Uh, how come there's no ventriloquist on this planet that gets along with their dummies? Well, there's not even very many ventriloquist acts anymore. There used to be a bunch of ventriloquist acts There was Willie Tyler and Lester. Yeah, I was in LA. There was a few there was Vince D'Antono in George from Long Island You know what? I think it was it's like when one guy becomes really big like Jeff Dunham He became the man when it gets ventriloquist and then he's so popular that nobody touches it anymore sort of like Carrot Top did that to prop acts yeah like prop acts used to be remember we started out the fucking wood did you ever work with it he was great I pulled it in fucking

diaper I mean laundry basket shoots with fucking props oh he had so much shit yeah he had a whole trunk full of stuff that he would have to carry to the club But there's they don't have them anymore because carrot top became so famous as a prop act that everybody's like, oh, it's a carrot top thing Yeah, just abandoned it like musical acts. There's no fucking musical acts anymore. There's There was get they're on ships. Gary Delano was a musical I got you around for a long time their legacy acts There's no upcoming people right now that are musical comedians. Well, there's no magicians Farantino was a magician

There was a couple magic act like when I did one-nighters you worked there was jugglers juggling Jack Swirsey a Couple magic acts there's a few magic acts still that work in California because of the Comedy and Magic Club. Oh, okay. At Hermosa Beach. Like he used to have it where you'd have a magician mixed in with the comedy.

Last time I worked there. Okay. When I started working there, I was like, I don't know. Do you ever remember Chips Cooney where he did the fake magic act? No. It was really funny. He would just do stupid stuff.

Lenny Schultz was a prop act too. Remember Crazy Lenny? He just died. Like about a month ago, three weeks ago. More pigs, Lenny. There were no more pigs. And he was just. He was so ridiculous.

He was nuts. He was so funny though. And the nicest guy in the world. Yeah, I remember he pulled out like a Smokey the Bear doll and he's like, only you can prevent forest fires. Shut goes, shut the fuck up, and he punched the bear. It was so ridiculous. And then he'd move on to something else, like it never happened.

It's like, it was what? He would kill. Kill. And it made no sense. No sense. No sense. It was just maniacal. It was just crazy, his crazy face and crazy eyes.

But it was really funny. Like, Carrot Top is a good prop act if you like prop acts he's the best prop act yeah I mean Rip Taylor didn't like him but you know the Rip Taylor's from how many fucking years ago Rip Taylor yeah remember the gay oh with the mustache yeah and throw this he had a glitter and stuck in like carrot top because carrot Top was getting real famous at the time. And Red Taylor was the prop act. But it's like most comics today are just comics.

They just do stand up. There's very little, like all the variety stuff is gone. Well, Frankie Pace was a prop act. And he killed. Yeah, he killed. Killed. You're right. There was more variety in the one-nighters in the clubs.

Oh yeah. Well in the 80s comedy was anything. There was no definition of it back then. Guys had pieces of paper they'd bring on stage and hold up signs. There was all kinds of weird shit and now it's just people talking. Oh the guy from Boston I work with him he was so angry we did a one-nighter he said fuck this at a pool hall Bob something batch he had paper signs he would pull up and do a thing on signs or whatever he was just from Boston. Well there was the guy from the blue collar tour Bill Engvall. Yeah. He had signs. Did he?

Yeah. None of them said quit? I don't know. What do you call it? What's his name? Kills on stage. Josh Adam Myers. Yeah.

Kills. Well, he does that goddamn comedy jam where he does music too, but that's a little different. on stage Josh Adam Myers. He does, kills. Well he does that god damn comedy jam where he does music too, but that's a little different. But we had him on our show, Would You Bang Him? Me and Bonnie do the show. It's fucking, you know the show we do? No. What we do is, Bonnie and I host it.

And we have like five comics and they do like eight or 10 minutes a piece. Then we have like five comics and they do like eight or ten minutes apiece then we have three female judges and a gay and a gay judge and After the set they discuss whether they would fuck him or not. Oh bang Oh, and the gay judge is always the funniest. He's always the funniest but some some of these female judges are so funny, you know So he came out we did it a couple, we do it at a lot of festivals and we did it at, in New York and Josh Adam Myers came out and he sang the whole time, just fucking,

all over the stage, I'm going, he's gotta close every show in a comedy club because nobody's following that. Right, right. There's no way at The Cellar, that you're gonna go up after that yeah, you know and I'm not what he does is great What he does is you know? Yeah If you were on the road and you had a middle act and the middle act is

Brought to you by the club like they assign a middle act and the middle act was doing music you were fucked Yeah, you were fucked. Oh, yeah Fucking guitar. I worked Vegas once following a guy with a guitar and I had him and he's fucking closing with Springsteen and the bandana on his head. I'm going what the fuck. It's a totally different thing. But it's weird that that's not more popular because it used to be so effective. That's what I'm saying.

It's like why isn't there more of those acts like that out there? Because it was so effective. Well, some of them got older and went to cruise ships that do guitar. I know, but why didn't the younger ones? Why didn't, how come no younger ones emerged? That's what's weird. It is kind of weird. No impressionist either. Very few. That do impressions. Yeah, very few. And everyone that they would turn around, fix their hair, and then do their impression. They always turned around. Right, right, right. Imagine if Jack Nicholson. I'd be scared to turn around and the audience left.

But they turn around. There was so many. Jeff DeHart, he did Rod Sterling perfectly. It is interesting. There's not a lot of just impressionists, right? Yeah, Danny Stone Right Randy Credico Yeah Very Frank Caliendo does yeah. Yeah, but he's like the only one you don't really see him in

I don't know if he's still in clubs. He does a I think he does he does Yeah, he was on the virus tour on the open Anthony. Yeah, I think he does his theaters mostly. Yeah, he was on the Virus Tour on the Opium Anthony Tour. Yeah, I did it with him. Yeah. Oh, you did the Virus Tour? Yeah, I did one of them. I hosted every show.

Yeah, I did one of them in Vegas. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the Vegas one. That was the last time I saw Patrice. Wow. Yeah. We're doing the benefit. We do it.

I host it every year and Billy closes it. We're doing it. I think in May this year. Oh, yeah Yeah, okay. So it's next month. Do you know the dates? Yeah, I'll tell you right tell everybody so they can go buy tickets These are dollar store glasses, okay, why do you buy them at the dollar store? Because my good ones at the hotel I don't want to waste them. I don't want to waste them. I don't want to lose them. Yeah, I mean, I would have wanted the good ones on Theo's podcast. Jesus Christ, I'm looking at your face when you turn sideways so I can see how much magnification you got. What are those?

How many X you got? 250. That's it? Yeah. It looks like I'm seeing a double the size of your fucking, look like you got stung by a bee listen So it's already sold out so people can't buy tickets I'm sure it sells out every it is beautiful that you guys do that every year the Patrice benefit

Yeah, it's very cool You talk about a guy that like touched so many people cuz he was so brilliant Why how could it be on the Sunday? the Patrice Bay says May 18th in my calendar maybe because Billy's doing a Twelve angry men he's playing every fucking character No, he's in Gary playing Ross. Oh is he? Yeah, and and yeah him in his closers? Is he that guy? I don't know.

I don't know. Go see it. I'd rather fucking walk through Lebanon wearing a fucking yarmulke to go see that fucking angry hack. Fuck off, Billy. Shut the fuck up. Send me your stupid pro-Palestinian bullshit. Shut up.

Oh, does he have a lot of pro-Palestinians? We fight all the time online. He sends it to you? Well, on text. Really? We go back and forth. Send me your stupid pro-Palestinian bullshit. Shut up. Oh, does he have a lot of pro-Palestinians? Oh, we fight all the time online. He sends it to you?

Well, we, on text. Really? We go back and forth. You and Bill Burr go back and forth about Palestine, for real? Yeah, sometimes, yeah. Wow. Yeah. But I'm, you know, look, I'm friends with him for years.

Of course. I mean, forever. Yeah. Fucking Billy. You know, fucking sss. When comedians get political, and and it's the point where they Distance themselves with people that don't agree with them. That to me is hilarious hilarious and how stupid it is Like what are you doing? Yeah, what what are you doing?

Like this is this is where you're gonna fucking draw the line on some shit that barely affects your personal life I've I've not that barely affects your personal life? I've not, any of my friends that are like that, I'm still friends with them. I don't agree with a lot of the shit, and they're stupid. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, there's one or two people I think that say really vile stuff, and I just mute them. I don't deal with them. They're not friend friends. Right, I watch them. I mean, shit, me and Norton don't deal with them. You know, they're not friend friends. Right. I mean, shit, me and Norton don't agree on everything. You know?

How can you? I mean, his fucking- How can you agree on everything? His wife is so much hotter than my wife. She's got a better dick. She was the best man at his wedding. Fucking Norton is So quick and funny. It's yeah, he was the best man at my wedding. He's so fucking funny. He's great on

No, Tony. Oh my god. He's one of the best guests. I mean You know who else is fucking Colin is so funny. Oh, he's so quick Collins amazing He's my he's there's a bunch of guys and I think I put you in there too that just Never really promoted themselves on social media Yeah, it's like you're really good But like even a tell I get tell for the level of comedy that he should be selling out stadiums every night But he just doesn't promote himself at all

All he does is just like all of his following is just word of mouth. Yeah. And other comics saying how great he is, and like, people who have seen him before, they've come to see him again. Well, he shows... One of my videos now is up to almost 5 million views. Is that good?

Yeah, it's good. That's good. It's really funny. I believe it. I believe you're funny. If you want to play it, I will. No, we don't have to do that. Let's wrap this up. So,'re going to be at the mothership. What are the dates again? June what?

June, I think, 27th, 28th, and 29th. I do it every week on my birthday. Take pictures of you with your shirt off. So prepare for that. Get ready. Yeah. Get yourself in shape. Tomorrow I'm going to bring you to Waste waste well get you on the peptides and okay

Your blood work and find out what the fuck's going on with your shoulders shoot you up with stem cells I do have a special on Amazon called rich force anonymous It's pretty funny. Why is it anonymous because I taped it at an a convention Oh, that's hilarious and the backdrop Bonnie directed the beginning the backdrop is fucking so there is look at you Was anonymous good there. Where's your trail dangerous man? You look dangerous. Can you play the trailer? No, we're not gonna play a trailer Okay, good Okay, wrap this up. No, we don't need to play a trailer. Okay, you're funny. I was doing it for you No, I don't care about me for you. I'm gonna not do it

No, I don't care about me for you. I'm gonna not do it This I've done this podcast three times and this is the most fun I had it was fun. It was fun We had a good time. I had a good time Come to the club tomorrow to hang out You got any sets tomorrow? You know, all right come All right, come to the club. Do bottom of the barrel, too. What's that? There's a whiskey barrel on stage with notes in it from the audience. You pull them out and you just riff.

Oh, really? Yeah, you'll love it. So much fun. It's like a premise factory. So what am I going to do about this thing tomorrow? As soon as we wrap. I'll set it up as soon as we get done here. All right.

This was fun. Thank you for having me. Rich Voss, ladies and gentlemen. Bye, everybody.