The Joe Rogan Experience - #231 - Dom Irrera

Episode Date: June 21, 2012

Joe sits down with Dom Irrera.

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Powerful Dom Herrera. Joe, you know how we're always doing the Irish accents to each other? Yeah, why is that? Why do we do that? Joe Rogan. We've been doing that for decades. Well, I went to Ireland, right?

I got to Ireland, unbelievable. I mean, it was like, I told you over the phone, but I go in and I'm in Galway. Don Moreno, for fuck's sake, we heard you with Joe Rogan. We love the show. One kid goes, I started doing martial arts because of Joe. Do you realize you're having an effect around the world? That's beautiful. This is Galway and Kilkenny.

This isn't even Dublin. Well, you know what? I don't think men are represented fairly in the media. I don't think there's enough actual guys that are telling you what's really going on from their honest perspective as someone that you can relate to. I think a lot of people are full of shit. I think a lot of men could use some martial arts training. It's good for you. I think martial arts and comedy is a great mix. It does work.

It seems like it wouldn't, but it really does work. When I was a martial arts guy only and I got into comedy, I was almost embarrassed of having something to do with martial arts because it seems so douchey. It doesn't seem like that would be funny at all. Joe, even people that beat the shit out of other people want to have a laugh once in a while.

They want to relax too. Yeah, comedy is great for you. Martial arts are great for you. Everybody. And it's beautiful when I hear stuff like that. Oh, it was great. I got such a kick out of it. I mean, it happened every night.

Every night guys came because they heard me on the podcast. That's awesome. Yeah. That's awesome. I get people sending me pictures of their kale shakes because I drink kale shakes every morning. So I got a lot of people doing this. Kevin James got me onto it. Kevin James lost 80 pounds for this movie where he played an MMA fighter.

Yeah. And looked fucking fantastic. His fucking face became thin. He always told me how strong he was. He's an animal. Kevin James loves to eat. He eats like a motherfucker. But physically, that guy, he's a bear, dude.

He's a big boned. He hits hard. He's a big, scary motherfucker. And he, you know, he really could have been a fighter if he ever chose to go down that path. He has like serious power, like especially in his hands. But he hit mitts with Mark DeLaGrade. And I was watching him hit the mitts. Like he's like a real athlete, even though he's this big guy.

So he lost all this weight. And he looked so good. I was so blown away. I was like, what the minutes. He's like a real athlete, even though he's this big guy. So he lost all this weight, and he looked so good. I was so blown away. I was like, what the fuck did you do? And he said, the most important thing is everything. I switched to an all-vegetable diet. Everything was vegetables. He didn't eat any animal products at all. And he did this for a long time.

He went back to it eventually. But he would have a kale shake every morning. And the idea was you have this thing called a Vitamix. You throw kale, cucumber, celery, pears. And then I throw ginger and garlic in there, raw garlic. And it tastes like ass. I mean, it's barely eatable. You just sort of, every time I do it, it's like a little victory.

I just won. I got through that. Next day, I win again you know every time i do it i feel like i win but when we had that good but i was just saying but nutrient wise it's like incredibly dense it opens up your bowels your shit comes out like like it's just lubed up and on a you know one of those uh water slides and that's what it's like it's like your body you feel like way healthier water slide shit i've told that always wanted it. Shits are spectacular. My shits when I have these kale shits are spectacular.

You wish you could invite people to one of your shittings. I wish I did. I wish people could, if I could record it and then play it back for you, you could feel how great it feels when it's so gently, effortlessly pours out of my ass. It's good to be back on the show. My shit's entirely green. You're kidding. It goes right shit's entirely green you're kidding goes right through me

entirely green it's crazy and it's like man how clean is my asshole my asshole is like vegetable fresh it's marsh it is yeah

so it's that's how I learned from Kevin and that's like people send me these pictures now all the time of their kale shakes

like all the time on Twitter you know when we went to dinner go see my kale shake Joe we went to dinner at the Palm that night.

Yeah. At the Steakhouse. Yeah. Great place. And I noticed, yeah, Kevin was in a great mood, talking, laughing. As soon as the food came, he was like on a mission. He didn't fucking look up. It was his last meal.

Well, that's when Kevin had gotten back to eating again. Oh, okay. Yeah, because he had really like, he's all in or nothing. He's kind of like me in a lot of ways. We're very similar. And one of the ways is that we get crazy about things. You know, he'll get crazy about golf and just like, fuck, I'm going to play golf all day for a year. Well, that's a year like that in pool.

Yeah, I got a real problem. You're starting to warm up after three hours. Joe, I'm tired. I played a dude the other day and we only played a race to five. It was like, God, it was such a tease. I wasn't even warmed up yet it was so i can for me pool is like a three or four hour experiment experience well you have that long time like i said i said to you you have the marathon runner and i have a sprinter mentality like when i'm on stage if i'm doing really well i can't wait to get the fuck

off because i'm doing really well i want 45 45 minutes. I'm out of there. Bing, bang, boom. But you love to be up there for a couple hours, and it's great. Only if I can maintain the energy. I've never seen you not. Well, I think also you have to factor in the audience's energy. So I don't do shows as long as I used to do. I've done some stupid two-and-a-half-hour shows, and the problem with that is people don't want to hear you talk

for two-and-a-half hours. After a while, they're bored. And then the end of it, it always became this question and answer section. And it felt to me like what I was doing was I was having this killer hour and ten minutes of comedy, and then I was ending it with an hour of mediocrity. And I was like, this is like the question and answer. Sometimes it would be awesome, but sometimes it would just sort of become a fucking yell fest, people yelling shit and just become gross.

Well, some of that, you know, the Dave Chappelle thing with the five hours? Yes. I said to the. I think it was up to seven. Okay, whatever. But something ridiculous. And I said to the booker of the club, I said, did he do material? She goes, it was all new material.

I said, well, I don't believe that. So I asked the staff. They go for material. He asked She goes, it was all new material. I said, well, I don't believe that. So I asked the staff. They go, material? He asked one guy where he was from three times. The guy says, I'm still from Pittsburgh. That's hilarious. Well, you know, if people are willing to just sit there and you just sit around talking, is that still stand-up?

You know, it's like your stand-up is you're a craftsman. When you go up there, you've got jokes, you've got punchlines, you've got setups. You can't wait to get to them because they're killer. But I have no idea how to write. I swear to God. That's not true. I don't. I don't have any idea how to write a joke. How did you do that?

Because it has to come out in its own way. I don't know how to like mathematically. Remember Rita Rudner? Uh-huh. People like that are like joke technicians. Right. Do you know how to write a joke or you just say funny things?

I just write. What I do is I write and I write blogs, like blog entries. Yeah. And then in writing about something, since there's no pressure to be funny, then I get the ideas for jokes out of that. Or I have ideas

and i'll slowly work them out on stage i do a bunch of different ways sometimes i don't have anything written it's just this idea that's been fucking with me and then i'll go on stage and i try it one way and then i say where i was that that idea was missing something i'll try it another way the next time until eventually i get it i had dreams uh the last two weeks of shit that was killing in my dream. You told me that when we were playing pool. Oh, yeah. I had another one since then. But I was having this dream about organic alcohol.

What was the one that you told me when we were playing pool? About relief pitchers? Yes, yes. I had this dream. I woke up and there were fucking 70,000 people. I'm going, what's up with relief pitchers? I mean, what's a relief if they get off you know

it's like such stupid non-joke and I'm fucking like there was a part of me that I think I knew I was asleep and I said

I can't wait to wake up to fucking write this down oh that's hilarious nothing was funny it was so unfunny it's funny and you were killing in your dreams

I was killing in my fucking throngs of people I know I've done that before I know I've had dreams where I was killing on stage. I can't remember. God, this is the best stuff I've ever written. Yeah.

And I couldn't wait to write it down. Then I woke up like, what are you talking about, idiot? You ever wake up laughing, Joe? Sometimes, yeah. I had a dream when I was first moving to New York. And my dream was I had a job. And it was involved. I had to sit in soup to see how long scientists would stand around with these charts. how long it took soup to cool and it was chicken gumbo soup right and i remember

sitting in the soup was like wow it's fucking hot and then i sit down and i turned to the camera there's a camera in my dream and i go hey eight dollars an hour for sitting in soup how bad could it be that was then i moved to new york and then the rest is history. That's hilarious. I think if you laugh a lot and you're used to laughing a lot, it's more likely that you're going to laugh in dreams. Yeah, what if Bert Kreischer just sits there and laughs nonstop in his dreams? I'll tell you what, Bert is a happy motherfucker right now. I've never met anybody who's more thankful for his success

and things that are going well in his life and so happy he's such a happy nice guy i always wonder about guys who are always depressed like mark maron yeah like i love mark but mark is one of those guys that was always so depressed now he's successful and he's got a really nice girlfriend i go is this bothering you because i don't know what to do i don't know what to do my feelings because i'm so used to he's so used to being miserable he's got to be careful man because that all that is really bad for you all that years of and that's not like woo woo that's like that's real the years of harboring resentment and bad feelings and selfishness like that all that negativity that fucks with you man it keeps you from sleeping right he's better to me though i'm sure it is i'm sure he is i mean he's a smart guy he knows i mean he's been one of the things is doing a podcast where you really very very um

openly bear your soul yeah i mean he's like when he does these like monologues where he talks about things in the beginning of his uh his podcast he's being uh he's very honest about all of his transgressions and his thoughts about him in the past and all sorts of different things so i think it's like super therapeutic in a way to do something like that like you really get over your shit when you broadcast it yeah you know and i i think um i think we all have a tendency it's it's so easy to go towards the negative it's just so dangerous it's so dangerous to think that that's the more profound way to think it tendency. It's so easy to go towards the negative. It's just so dangerous. It's so dangerous to think that that's the more profound way to think. It's so fucking stupid for you.

I never really let somebody else's success diminish me. You never have. You've never been a jealous guy ever about anybody. Somebody said one time about Eddie Murphy, does it bother you? I said, what the fuck does Eddie Murphy have to do with me? He's tremendously talented. It's not like if he didn't do 48 hours I would have well you know what I love is loved about you Dom and um not just that you're a great comic but you really love stand-up comedy like there wasn't there's always everyone had this idea at some point in time in comedy that you did I mean not everyone but a lot of people in Hollywood you did uh you put together an act

and then you got a sitcom right and then you got a sitcom. And then you got a sitcom, and then you went from a sitcom to a movie career, and that's the only way to do it. And any way else is not fun. But you were like, I like being a comic. I'm making plenty of money. I got a nice car. I live in a nice house.

I was like, what the fuck do you want from me? What do I need? Yeah, what do you want from me? What else? Yeah. One guy says to me, he goes, what else you got coming up? Did I ever tell you this? He's like the deli man.

What else? What else? That's all you're going to have? And I said to him, well, I got this Nickelodeon really cool movie, and we're going to the series. He goes, you got anything big coming up? What the fuck big you got coming up? A Jiffy Lube?

A new muffler? I don't bother. I don't judge other people's careers. It's a funny thing, though. People will talk shit. I've seen so many people talk shit on Twitter about random people's careers. Like, whatever happened to RIP to this guy's career. Like, who the fuck are you?

What is that weird free shot? Oh, I know. That's a bizarre thing, right? Like, sports writers who couldn't make their grade school football teams are critiquing guys like Romanowski, critiquing guys that are great players. They never played. They never played anything. Well, I critique fighters. Well, I fought kickboxing and taekwondo, but I've never fought an MMA fight.

All I do is critique people. Yeah, but you would have if it came up when you were coming up, you would have fought them. Yeah, I would have. And I'd probably be a mess right now, right about now, physically. Oh, I'll never forget the fight that I came to see you, and the mother and the sister were sitting next to me, and the guy that got knocked out.

Happens all the time. That's when reality hits you, when you're sitting next to the relatives. Yeah, well, especially if they get badly KO'd. There's a visceral fear that comes from people getting badly KO'd because it looks like they're done. A guy gets head kicked or something. You remember when we went to that fight in Vegas and the guy got hit and the ref caught him?

He was so light. You remember it was Felix Trinidad. Really? Yeah, we saw Felix Trinidad. I forget who he was fighting but it was when Trinidad was really coming up. It was when he was light. I think it was a welterweight fight. But yeah, he caught him with a left hook. Bam!

Dropped him. Felix Trinidad had a wicked left hook. But the ref caught him. Was that the one the ref caught the guy before he hit the ground? At least the back of his head didn't hit. Just the front of his head was hurt. Yeah, we saw a couple great fights in Vegas. I don't remember who else we saw fight there, but I remember we saw a couple good fights there.

Boxing live is weird. I'm used to it at the UFC because I'm the voice of it, but it's weird when you're sitting there and you don't hear any commentary. Yeah. Watching guys just fucking get their shit kicked out of each other. Yeah, it is. When you're seeing it live. It's just the sounds of it and the sweat and the blood.

Yeah, the impact sounds and the ohs of the audience. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I told you what I realized after seeing that stuff, and I want to do it again. I loved it, but I love violence. I told you what I realized after seeing that stuff. And I want to do it again. I loved it. But I love violence. I do.

I just don't like fake violence. I don't like violent movies because I don't like seeing somebody like Joe Pesci be able to beat some 25-year-old stud because he's the star. Right, right, right. I just don't buy that shit. Get out of here. You know, it's like. Yeah. You know, Joe Pesci almost got beat up by the bouncer at the laugh act.

Oh, you know that story, right? Yeah. That was Red. Red was the mulatto guy. He looked like a human wall. Well, this was a different story then, because I'm talking about Ken. Big Ken, the rapper. Oh, it was Ken?

Yeah. I thought it was Red, because that's the one where he says, you ain't in a movie. This ain't no movie, motherfucker. Ken was, he was a big. Yeah. You remember Ken, right? Yeah no movie, motherfucker. Ken was a big. Oh, it was Ken. Yeah. You remember Ken, right? Yeah, yeah, of course.

Ken was a big fucking dude. He was a football player and a rapper. And apparently something happened, and Joe Pesci, he tried to go crazy with him. He yelled at him or something. And Ken was like, this is a fucking movie, bitch. And he got fired. Ken got fired. Did he get fired for that? Yeah. Really? Uh-huh. Oh, wow. That's bitch. And he got fired. Ken got fired. Did he get fired for that?

Yeah. Really? Uh-huh. Oh, wow. That's sad. That makes me sad. Jamie Masada. You'll have to come on the podcast and bust his balls.

Buddy, it's only business, buddy. I want you to come on that podcast. What am I going to do, buddy? Buddy. The guy scream. He scream at this guy's fucking movie star, buddy. People that see the podcast are saying who's the mexican with you he's a crazy story jamie masada the owner of the laugh factory was a dishwasher at the comedy store

yeah he decided to pool together some money and start his own fucking business what kind of money did he get together that he bought the laugh factory on stage i always said that he came over here as a as a uh he was a jewish guy from through iran through israel he came over here as a Jewish guy from Iran through Israel. He came over here as a Jew, busted, broke, which for a Jew is like a couple million dollars. Just take off. So anyway, the podcast is called Dom Rare at the Laugh Factory Live. Live at the Laugh Factory, something like that. When did you start doing this?

About four weeks ago. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. It's perfect. The podcast for you is perfect. We're hoping to get Joe Rogan. He's going to do it. Hey.

Once he gets back from Brazil with his fancy friends. And who are you doing today? Tony Rock. Tony Rock. Powerful Tony Rock. He's funny, man. Tony's good, yeah. He's very funny.

I remember I saw him years ago, and then I saw him recently, maybe six months ago or so, maybe a year ago. He's gotten so much better. Woo! He got really good. Isn't it interesting to see it click in? I love watching people get good at anything, whether it's jujitsu or comedy. I love watching people get good at pool. I just love watching people figure shit out.

I love knowing that that whole process of figuring shit out is possible. I love people when their fucking life is falling apart and they pull it together. Yeah. I love that shit. I love it. It's one of my favorite things in life. A goddamn Rocky movie. I got to do it.

I'm starting to reach the depths of alcoholism. For real? Yeah. Yeah. Well, we talked about the whole Xanax thing. You got to try marijuana, Dominic. I think I do. I think you do.

I don't like smoke, though. I think you... Well, you don't have to. You can eat it. There youic. I think I do. I think you do. I don't like smoke, though. I think you... Well, you don't have to. You can eat it. There you go. Joey Diaz style. Don't give him... Jesus Christ.

I got to drive. First of all, you got to do legit. Yeah, you got to drive. And then you should do it legit. Get a license. Yeah. You could get a marijuana prescription for... I always wanted to take a couple hits.

It's been a while. Various ailments. Well... It's good for your glaucoma, too. Maybe next time we do the podcast, we'll plant it out so I'm driving. You don't have to worry about driving anywhere. And we'll bake you out on air. Okay.

What do you think? Good? I suppose I get paranoid. Well, that's very likely. That's very likely. How much does it take to get you high? Just a little bit. This is a really strong weed.

They keep talking about that in the news. And we've talked about that in the news and uh we've talked about this on the podcast before there's the numbers of uh you know the the thc is so high that this is not your father's marijuana it's totally true it's fucking really strong weed now but it's still not gonna hurt you it's not gonna kill you how long does it take to wear dangerous it just freaks you out you could take hours depending on your body she's that's the only thing i don't like getting stuck in something. Yeah.

If I don't like it. Well, it could be an issue. Stan Hope, he doesn't like it. Stan Hope hates weed. Really? See, I like alcohol. I like anything damn. Yeah.

Did I tell you that one of my best friends is prosecuting the Sandusky case? Oh, my God. Really? I knew about this over a year and a half ago, but they had been gathering evidence. And it's really interesting. I mean, we were doing like role playing and trying to see what Sandusky would say if he took the stand. His wife's on the stand today. Wow.

Can you imagine? That's crazy. Oh, my God. And like we're doing things like why would 10 kids, you know, embarrass themselves and come out? Well, I don't know. Maybe they misremembered it. I love that misremember. What bullshit.

It's so scary. The whole story is so scary because they protected him. Yeah. They protected that guy. When people freaked out, when everybody went on a goddamn rampage because Joe Paterno got fired, I wonder what information they had. You know? Joe, wouldn't you just go to the cops

oh yeah you have to go why would you go for the chain of command what is this nazi germany i don't understand i don't understand what happened i don't understand what happened well what they said happened was he went to another assistant coach we went to his father and then they went to paternal paternal went to somebody else i would have gone to the cops right away if i see somebody hurting a kid bam come out of there and how do you not beat him to death right there on the spot yeah you know that's got to be an instinct too you might you'd want to beat him to death that guy's raping a boy oh the whole thing is just so creepy if it really happened the way they're saying it happened i mean i i'm assuming at this point in time that he's guilty.

I mean, I guess that's not. Why would all these kids come in? Yeah, you're right. No. They didn't come from the same club. I would certainly not argue it, but I just, you know, for the sake of being fair, the whole thing is fucking horrifying. It's so terrifying. It's so terrifying that they had this monster protected.

If that's really the case. Yeah. That's so scary to me. It is. Well, it's Catholic church type stuff. How else could they not know? I mean, how could they not know? The Catholic church type stuff is fucking horrifying, Dom.

We used to have a priest that molested us when I was in summer camp. Really? He never got me because I was such a nut. I was always a light sleeper and afraid of the dark like a real man. And I would have a flashlight on under my sheets.

Oh, wow. So I never, I slept real light, you know. But we, and we knew about it and nobody said anything because he was a priest. Oh, my God.

And then they just had a whole thing about him. Even though he's dead, they condemned his actions and stuff in the Philly papers recently. What did he used to do he would just like you know jerk off kids in their sleep or would it play with them or whatever god

i don't think he did i don't think he did any of the sandusky type level stuff because it was mostly a sleep thing it's amazing when you find out how many of them oh my god yeah well apparently the whole uh not having sex thing abstinence thing doesn't work. Well, not only does it not work, who is signing up for that? It's not like you go to a different heaven than me. All I have to do is be a good guy and follow God's word, and I go to heaven too. And you don't get pussy? I get to fuck my wife, and you don't get pussy?

That's ridiculous. That's no natural person would accept that. No, I mean, it's bad for your prostate not to come. It is. You can get first place. It's bad for your prostate not to come. It is. You can get prostate cancer. Yeah. It's terrible. And not only is it terrible,

like, how could an organization exist that has this many people that fuck kids? Could you imagine if they just started up tomorrow? Yeah. If the Catholic Church started up tomorrow and all of a sudden, you know, like, there was no Catholic Church and then all of a sudden they said,

listen, we just found this new religion. We're really sure this is what Jesus really meant. And they just started fucking kids. 20% of us fuck kids. Like right away, people would stop it. They would go, what the fuck are you doing? You can't do this. Well, you know, the shifting of the people was just as bad as some of the acts.

It's horrible. You're putting a predator in a new area. Well, that was Ratzinger, the guy who's the pope right now. He was in charge of that shit. You know what he said? Yeah, he said something about why. Because Ireland, the churches are empty. And they said, why?

You know, with so much molestation. He said, it's a mystery. Well, what the fuck? What kind of answer is that? Like, everything's a mystery. It's a mystery. It's not a mystery. The universe is a mystery.

Irish people are fucking smart. Yeah. That's why. They are smart. They are smart. They're smart irish people are fucking smart yeah that's why they are smart they are smart they're smart as fuck i love doing stand-up up there they're they're rowdy smart people and then they're not buying your bullshit you can only fuck their kids for so long the rest of the world has to catch up that's right ireland's figured it out yeah you can't fuck our kids asshole i've been going to kill kenny uh more than any of the other americans you know i really know a lot of people there. It's so fun.

I go in to the grocery store next to the hotel, and this Asian guy calls me, Don Moreno. Don Moreno. He goes. An Asian guy with an Irish accent? It's half Irish, half Asian. I can't do it. He goes.

He says. You got to try it. You got to try it. He makes me a sandwich. He goes, Don Moreno, this on me. You. You got to try it. You got to try it. He makes me a sandwich. He goes, Tamarena, this on me. You come back again next year. All right. I thought, how fucking nice is that?

Like 8,000 miles away from my house. You got a friend. Yeah, give me a sandwich. You know, like, thanks a lot, mister. A free sandwich. But it was really, really cool of him. What is cool when you go to a place and you develop, like, friends that you see, like, once a year. Oh, yeah.

It is nice. That's one of the nice aspects of the road. Absolutely. I mean, a little town, Kilkenny, walk down the street, don't worry, Dom, I heard, I hid the USA Today for you.

I know you like the sports there. Because they're asking, they don't like basketball. They don't like, they like soccer and hurling and Irish, you know, the... Hurling? Hurling.

Hurling is not, it's not throwing up. It's like fucking rugby with sticks. It's such a crazy game. Oh, it's a crazy game. Oh, my God. Dude, I've never heard that. Throw that shit up.

Hurling. It's like a rougher side of lacrosse. Irish people are savages. They're fun. I'll tell you what I did, Joe. I'm telling you I have a problem with drinking. I actually told the audience, I give up, you win. I can't compete.

I came here thinking I was an alcoholic. I realized I'm a moderate social drinker. You fucking people win. I've never met people less understandable that were speaking English than Northern Ireland. Oh, yeah, because they don't move their mouth. They're like ventriloquists. Oh, my God.

Look at this fucking game. What are they doing? This is called hurling, huh? Yeah. Yeah, the Kilkenny Cats are the local team. So they must hit the fuck out of each other with those sticks, too. Oh, yeah, they do. Oh, my God.

An axe-shaped stick. Look at this. Oh, this is crazy. They're smashing them into each other. 3,000 years of sporting heritage. Oh, what a crazy-ass game. They're beating the fuck out of each other with these sticks. Oh, my God.

Oh! And they run right into each other, full clip. And that's why they think American football is such pussies, because they have so much equipment on. Oh, this is the craziest game ever. I did not know this existed. How could I be alive for this long? Oh, there's no

rules. This guy just grabbed the ball, threw it up in the air, and then hit it. Did you say no rules or new rules? New rules! Yeah. These guys are animals. How long have you known about this? Since I've been going there. I used to

wear their shirt when I could still fit into it when I was in Montreal. boy, I hate seeing that. Look at me, the image. I have no idea that I look like that. It's like a cat without whiskers that thinks they can get through any small space. I have no idea how bloated I am. My eyes look like they're half open. You know, my doctor, Castiglione, said to me, he saw me in Craig Ferguson,

because he uses this old kind of language. He goes, so you don't fuck with Ferguson. You look like a Chinaman. I said, who says Chinaman? my doctor said to me Craig Ferguson because he uses this old kind of language he goes so you don't fuck with Ferguson you look like a Chinaman I said who says Chinaman yeah last time

you were here you were talking about how you look like an Inuit you said you were looking like an Inuit like you were starting to develop

and I could still even at that look I could still get women because of my act thank God for my act powerful Dom Irera you're just in Atlanta I'm in Atlanta I was in Atlanta this week Look, I can still get women because of my act. Thank God. Thank God for my act. Powerful, Don Marrero. You're just in Atlanta?

I'm in Atlanta. I was in Atlanta this week. I went great. Punchline? And I'm in Atlantic City on the 30th, and 30th of June at Tropicana. Oh, nice. I was telling my friend McGettigan.

Are tickets available for that? How do people get those tickets? I guess just call the Tropicana box office. I was telling my friend McGettigan, who's doing the Sandusky trial, is there any way he could plug my date, Atlantic Sea? He said, how can I do that? I said, well, you know, you go open with, ladies and gentlemen, a jury, your honor. This man, Sandusky, has caused so much pain to so many people,

unlike comedian Dom Herrera, who will be at the Tropicana on June 30th, 8 o'clock, tickets available. That would be hilarious. Could you imagine if he actually did that? Yeah. Holy shit. Talk about taking the credibility away from a trial. Yeah, that might fuck up the whole trial.

He might get off. Yeah, you can't really joke around. You can't joke around at all. He was reading some of the opening statements to me, and somebody said, Well, was he reading it for you to punch it up? I go, No. Just to bounce it off somebody. I'm not supposed to punch it up i go no just to give you to bounce it off somebody i'm not supposed to punch so he's that he's the prosecutor yeah he's the prosecutor fucking i send him all my positive energy thanks

get that motherfucker he's a get him he's a genius man it's amazing that a guy like sandusky's still alive you know with all the negative shit that guy's done how is his body still holding up how is he still alive how about when he waves to people like he's running for office? He gets out. He's smiling and shit. You can see how psychotic he is. I mean, if anybody else accused, if you're innocent, if you're accused of all this, you'd be out of your fucking mind. It's so weird to even think about it, man.

It's so sick and gross. It's so sick and gross. There's so few things in life that disturb people more than someone taking advantage of children. Oh, that's the worst. Because they know that the whole future is, that kid's future is fucked. You're poisoning that kid's mind. Well, that's the one thing in prison they say, that child molesters get their ass kicked. Yeah, of course, because a lot of people are tortured as children. It's fucking...

They said, I love when people go, I hope they do that to him in jail. But who's going to want to fuck him? That fucking stretched out gray ass. Oh, I see. They're going to kill him. If he goes in a general population, they'll beat him to death. Well, he's 69 now, right? Yeah.

And then if they put him in solitary and isolation, I mean, it seems like they're just going to convict him. I mean, it seems like the evidence is pretty overwhelming. You know what the problem is with these kind of trials? It has to be 100%. It can't be a hung jury. If one person is not sure, then they have to do a retrial. This one seems so crazy, though. It almost requires a second case.

It requires him to be guilty, and then you to go back to the whole school and everyone involved how the fuck didn't you see this well that's going to come down after this the president the guys who resigned are going to yeah they have their day in court most paterno's dead right didn't he die yeah he died that killed him too i mean he had cancer but i mean he would have he would have fought it he just just was a beaten man. I mean, what a terrible position to be in, you know? Imagine having all those years of incredible success, and he was king of Nittany Valley, you know, Penn State, and then boom.

Fuck, man. It just shows you this ain't a fucking movie. This ain't a movie. This world is strange. It operates. It's fucking strange. And, you know, they're famous for their linebackers. They called it Linebacker U.

And you know who was the coach of the linebackers? Sandusky. So he was a revered. Revered? Revered. Revered. Coach. I'll let them turn into Erwin Corey.

I feel he was revered. Wow. That's nuts. Well, there's a lot of guys who do really good at coaching because they really like men. That makes sense, right? Yeah. Well, you're really looking out for them.

Yeah, people put themselves in situations like, that's what's scary about it. Some people really do love kids, and they love to see them successful. I mean, I was a great fourth grade teacher because I fucking loved the kids. And I told them, I said, I don't care. I said, do was a great fourth grade teacher because I fucking loved the kids. And I told them, I said, I don't care. I said, do what you, you know, I want you to be happy.

I want you to have high self-esteem. You learn this shit, great. I said, but let me tell you, you're never going to be in a, some of this math is such bullshit. I said, you're never going to be in a bind to go, man, if I only knew the Pythagorean theorem, I'd get out of this gym. Hey, it's better they're happy. Right. Than learn, you know, I said, learn. It's past the marks because I don't want to get in trouble, but basically

I want you to go to the gym and have fun in life. I was a good teacher. That's great advice if you don't want any mathematicians for the rest of the human history. The mathematicians are going to come out anyway. Kids that are eggheads who are brilliant at it. You just shouldn't

force kids like me who had nothing. Is it possible to teach really complex things and just make it fun? Yeah. Yeah. The only thing they couldn't understand, I could never get through to the kids, was the relativity of up and down. How there's no absolute up or down. It's relative to a point. Because we're in the universe.

Yeah. I mean, people go, well, they don't understand how people in Australia are not upside down. Right. Yeah. I mean, like, you know, we're, you know, like, people go, well, that's, they don't understand how people in Australia are not upside down. Right, right, right, right. And I could never explain that. It was from a relative point. But they're only nine, ten years old. Right.

Well, it is hard to grasp the whole organic spaceship thing. Oh, yeah. That we're all floating out here. Yeah. We're looking for land. We're looking for property, Dom. We're looking to settle down, put a house down. And there's permanent. No, there's nothing permanent, stupid. We're going to settle down, put a house down.

No, there's nothing permanent, stupid. The whole Earth is a convertible, and it's flying through the universe. It's a convertible that can be easily hit by another convertible. Yeah, and it happens. That's the whole theory about the moon's creation. The most recent theory is there was Earth 1, and Earth 1 was like a fiery fucking ball of flame or whatever the fuck it was different i don't know what what about it was different than earth two but it got hit by another planet and that created the moon and changed the whole orbit of earth and changed the atmosphere and

and that's the reason why everything exists today i mean the reason why we're able to sustain life because our our temperature is remarkably consistent because of the fact that we have a moon. Is that it? Yeah. I don't know how it stays within a couple degrees. Yeah, that's part of it. Part of it is the moon. The moon keeps our orbit really steady.

Somehow or another, like, it's gravity interacts with us. I don't understand it. I don't understand gravity. I mean, we're supposed to understand what makes things float in space and what makes things stick to those things. I used to have a fear when I went to the beach that I would be sucked up into the air. And gravity wouldn't work just for me. I swear, just that day, all of a sudden, I'm going, fuck gravity.

Thanks a lot. And I can't get down. Gravity is a crazy thing to wrap your head around. There's stuff floating. When you get outside of the gravity of the earth, so you pass a certain distance from the earth where it no longer pulls on you you can float yeah like the earth has it's not that far it's not that far it's a few hundred miles right how i mean i mean i mean uh 30 miles or something yeah i think it's like just as soon as you get out of the ionosphere how many miles is it i'm making things up 300 miles is like space shuttle that's like um that's where the space shuttle

it's that's the space shuttle yeah they go to like 250 300 miles they like Space shuttle That's like That's where the space shuttle Oh it's that The space shuttle Yeah they go to like 250, 300 miles They go like somewhere Around that Oh man It's crazy And then they

You know obviously That's where the space station is You can float around up there But I don't know Like at what height You can start floating What height do you come Crashing to your death

And what height Can you just float around Cause it's That's a real fine line man I was doing a roast with Who was the first man on the moon? Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong. I think it was Neil Armstrong.

It was one of those guys. Buzz Aldrin? Buzz Aldrin. Yeah, he was a member of the Friars Club. Really? I did a roast. And I remember saying, like, what the fuck could scare you? You've been to the moon.

Right. And I imagine sitting in a ship going, boys, we're off to the moon today. If you really went to the moon right and i imagine sitting in a ship going boys we're off to the moon today if he really went to the moon wait a second was it a disney film joe are you telling us that nobody ever really went to the moon i i think it's very possible that people went to the moon it's also very possible they faked the whole thing well if they did it was like a best orgasm i ever had they did a good job they got us all excited people think i'm retarded for thinking this and they're right i am retarded it's uh you're not retarded special thank you like uh like uh what is her name

special so special what is that song i gotta have some of your attention. Oh, yeah. The fuck? The Pretenders. Oh, yeah. No, no. Not The Pretenders. Yeah, I think it was The Pretenders. Was it? It was oh, fuck, I can't remember the name now. What was Tom Petty's band? The Heartbreakers. Heartbreakers. Why did I think he was The Pretenders?

He was a heartbreaker, not a pretender. I used to work with him on the old Gary Shaling show. Oh, really? Tom Petty's a bad motherfucker. We used to sing Beatles songs together. I remember when I was a kid, I was about 13 years old, and this girl was telling me how cute she thought Tom Petty was. And I'll never forget this.

I was like, Tom Petty is such a bad motherfucker. This girl, they think he's cute. Well, because he's cute ugly. Because he's talented. Because he's so talented. That's the advantage of being a man. You think any guy goes Susan Boyle. Oh, man.

Nope. I'd love to bang her. Nope. Look at all the fucking awards she's won. Well, there's a few dudes out there that will marry famous monsters. There's a few girls that'll do that. That'll pick up a good looking guy that's kind of lost and clueless. That happens.

That does happen. You get a himbo. There's girls that are powerful women that have himbos. I've seen that shit. But it's not as common. No, not even close. Not even close. But women will genuinely, legitimately be attracted to some really successful gross

guys. Thank you. I appreciate the compliment. Well, I was setting you up, Tom. I know you had something to say about the subject. It's a weird thing. Thank God we're men. Being a woman is much, much more difficult.

Really difficult. I mean, the whole thing about makeup and getting ready. Oh, I was at a fucking, I was at a, well, I don't even want to say where it was. I ran into a woman that was very hot in like the 1970s. And now she's, you know, now she's getting along in her age. And she's got all this plastic surgery and shit. And it was so weird to see so famous person i want to say her name not joan rivers i won't say it no wasn't joan rivers looks like a

cat now like a space cat this looks like an alien it's scary it's weird egyptian yeah and and i wonder if what she's doing if that's permanent can you can you like no it's permanent yeah it's permanent you can't like relax and stop stop doing what you're doing that makes your face like that? No. I remember I worked with somebody who I love, who I don't want to really go into it, but she had had plastic surgery and kept denying it. Yeah. And when she smiled, when she laughed, her face didn't move.

She would go, that was fucking scary. That's that Botox. Yeah. It could be Botox. Yeah. You're shooting a poison in your face oh yeah a guy who used to work he used to run a casino in vegas he had botox and he was going give me an emotion i go happiness i think all i guess he would never make a face couldn't move his face why does that look better well it looks tighter. I don't know if it looks better. I think you just got to deal with the fact that you're getting older, bitch.

Yeah. That shit is just weird. I need to get some Botox for my girlfriend's pussy. Oh, man. You know, you don't say much, but when you come in, bam, the show comes to a halt. We realize while you're here, your true talent shines. Did you feel the hope the show came to when he made that confident? He swings on a lot of pitches, and I'm trying to get him to calm down at the plate.

That was my 3 p.m. halt. That was your what? 3 p.m. halt, because I heard Don had to leave at 3. Oh, do you have to leave at 3? I can do another 15 minutes. All right, another 15 minutes. 10, 15. That's why you did it?

Mm-hmm. Really? You planned it out? Yep. You are smart, man. I take it back. He's sort of like a suicide bomber for podcasts. Yeah, you see the difference?

Is your podcast available on iTunes? I think it is. And what is it? Is it under Laugh Factory? They started with Laugh Factory, Dom Herrera Live, so now it's Dom Herrera Live at the Laugh Factory. We should figure out how these people can find this, Dom. How do they find this? I know. That should be better.

Don't you think when you asked me about the Tropicana, I should know how to call it? Yeah. I better get over it. I gotta do some press and film. Yeah. Well, you're one of the great comedians of our era. And you're out here with a barely functional website and very little Twitter presence. I know. Do you use the Twitter now? I see you have it.

I have it. My goddaughter moved in with me yesterday. So with her living there, she's going to keep me updated. Oh, that's great. There you go. Beautiful. You can't do it yourself?

It's Dom Rarer at... You've given up on the fact... At Dom Rarer. ...the idea of doing it yourself? I've done it myself at times. But you know, my thing is, I have mostly sports things that come to my head.

People like that. Bill Burr does sports shit all the time. Does he? And people get mad at him. Oh, I'm going to unfollow you. If you do one more sports quote, fuck you. Really? He fucking gets real mad at you.

Yeah. You should do his show. He's fun. I would love to. He just did mine the other day. He's terrific, isn't he? Yeah. He's done this podcast.

He's done the Ice House Chronicles one. You've got to do that sometimes, Dom. That is the most fun. He's done? He's done Ice House Chronicles? Did you, Dom? I don't know. Oh, you did it when I wasn't here. Yeah, you did it when I wasn't here. When everybody's hanging around. I love that.

They're so much fun. Not this Friday coming up, but next Friday. Are you around, Brian? I don't know. Let's do the Ice House. We do have one this Friday. You have one this Friday? You have one this Friday? Who's on this Friday?

I think it's going to be mostly the Bone Zone guys, but I haven't really put the complete show together. I'll announce it next day or so. Let's set one up for the 29th. Don Barris is definitely doing it, though. Powerful Don Barris. We'll set one up for the 29th next Friday. All right, fella?

All right, sexy face? Make it happen? I like that hat. But, Dom, if you're ever around on a weekend, you've got to come and join us. Oh, definitely. On one of these Ice House shows. I love that stuff. I love hanging out.

The crowds are fucking amazing. The crowds are, it's all podcast fans now. I was talking to Bob Fisher about when he was saying when you tell the people to come. I said, I was here on a Wednesday night at midnight. There's no club in the city that's packed on Wednesday night at midnight. It was amazing. It was sold out, too. And it was so fun.

The crowds are amazing. And you've got some great fans. Smart. I'm saying they're smart because they laugh at us. Well, we're super lucky. I don't know. We pulled it off somehow or another. But it's by what those guys in ireland were

saying it's by just telling people you know what's helped you telling people what you're what you're really into stop pretending everybody tell the goddamn truth my nephew's 20 and he he's never been more excited about me being on anything since hey arnold right when he was a kid yes like you know because they don't really relate to like like, everybody loves Raymond and Seinfeld and all. They don't relate to any of those credits. They love this. They love, like, you with the tough AMA guy who's funny. AMA.

Ask me anything. American Medical Association. See how fucked up they are. They've got to have a good act, Joe. Thank you for your therapy. Well, that's awesome. Well, if there's anything we could do to make this world a little bit better place is help the young men. Help the young men that are coming up and give them some sort of fucking perspective that's different than the one they're getting every day,

either at work or at school or in the media media getting this perspective that you have to be some asshole who doesn't exist yeah some guy who doesn't exist you have to fucking you know you have to abide by their silly laws of political correctness that you can't tell the truth you can't you can't be honest about what you like you know it's a fucking terrible place where people have to live in in just this shitty state of despair all the time. It's not necessary. I like to watch two women. Sometimes I get a little lazy. Holla! Do you like watching two women?

What, like a video? That doesn't really do it for me. No? No. I mean, I guess if they were right there in real life, I'd be like, wow, this is crazy to watch. I've only seen it once in real life. Well, I've seen it a couple times, but once that was like a video where they were actually making a video. And it was like one of the most sexless things I've ever seen.

Oh, you saw them filming it? Yeah. It was real weird. It was... They were doing... One of the dudes who was a writer for News Radio was a porno writer as well. Oh, yeah? Porno writer.

I think you're going to score. He dated a bunch of girls that were in the business. And this was a long time ago. We're talking about like 94, I guess, somewhere around then. And he broke up with this girl because they were out at dinner. And this is when reality set in to him. They were out at dinner, and she was just really set in to them. They were out at dinner. And she was just really tired.

And she wasn't in. And he was like, what's the matter? Did I say something? She's like, oh, no. It's just I had to do anal with this guy all day. And it's just, God. She started to hate that. And all he could think of was like, what?

I can't wait until Friday. How does that even fit in to the world that I'm living in? How is it that the woman I love is taking dick in her ass all day at work? I know. Like, what? Yeah, that's quite the job. I remember we were at the Riviera. Steve Schripper was there.

And he didn't want to go up. I mean, Steve is very faithful to his wife and, you know, Steve, right? Yeah, sure. And he tells me he doesn't want to go up and watch them shoot porn or up in the penthouse? I'll get you up there. I said, yeah, I got it. I go in and this girl's peeing on this other girl. I go, wow, this is romantic.

Where, are they in the tub or something? Yeah. And then that night, we went up there and me and Sophie, Sophie wanted to see it, my girlfriend, you know. And the girls needed so much attention. But when they weren't getting attention there's one girl lays down on the piano and she goes you want to see my trick and she put

a uh you know there's a cigar holder that like a little capsule that they put cigars in like a metal thing she put it inside of her and she popped it out but she shot it so hard it fucking hurt the girl's forehead she was like she's standing there and the girl goes left a permanent mark what happened to you i don't want to talk about it holy shit jesus christ yeah but you're right about having the wife and you know a husband and wife and one one of them does porn and the other doesn't Or both of them do it That's weird It's weird So this dude took me to a set And these girls were doing it

And it was Jill Kelly and Janine Sadly to say You know who both of them We're fans They're both beautiful Janine is really hot Yeah And this was back in the day

She only had I don't know if she had any tattoos Maybe she had a couple But now she's like fully sleeved and oh yeah i don't yeah yeah it's weird um but and they were just two girls like eating each other out it was like this is just so strange it just feels so without the music and the whole the whole thing while watching the cameras you know circle them and seeing the lights and the guy with the boom mic and i was like this is so odd it just seems so strange has anybody got any gum it was just real almost like clinical or something yeah of course it

didn't seem like you know like if these are two girls and they were just sitting on the couch and all of a sudden one girl just started eating the girl's ass he'd be like whoa what the fuck like you'd be nervous right like what is happening here'd be like, what is happening here? This is crazy. But to watch it, like, to go, and, like, it's sort of orchestrated and action. Okay, you know, I want two fingers now. Okay, let's spit on it. Spit on it.

Put your ass higher. Raise your, I was at the Magic Castle, and a friend of mine, and there's one of the dancers from the Cher tour came in, who I knew years ago. So I can just say that because there's so many of them. And we go back to my house, and we're by the pool table. And Christy, you know, my old girlfriend, comes out.

And I shouldn't say her name. Well, it doesn't matter. It's not her last name. I still love you. And she has huge breasts. And she took her bra off and just had her T-shirt on. They were sticking straight out, and the girl just casually walks over to her,

lifts her thing, and starts sucking her tits. Whoa! And me and my friend, Ollie, we were just like there, like, holy shit. And, you know, I mean, Russell Peters always does that joke about acting like he's going to jerk you off. It was a joke.

He'd say, hey, come here, let me take care of you there, tough guy. It was just so odd. And it was sexy to a point. And then one of the girls wanted to go down. The other one, that's where I drew the line. Imagine if there was as many really openly bisexual men as there were openly bisexual girls. Yeah, it's just different. It's different.

Well, it's different because it's bullshit. Because a lot of them aren't really bisexual. Some of them are, for sure. Are you calling them fakers? I'm saying they're faking, Dom. They're putting on an act for us. No. See?

Don't break my fantasy. And there's no stigma attached to it. No social stigma. You know? Yeah. Some girls genuinely like girls, of course. But there's a lot of fake lesbians out there. We all know this.

I know the girls that are in the porn that are girls are all real i mean oh yeah yeah i mean all that all those a lot of them yeah not all those girls you can't say most of them i mean if they if they're not gay they tell you well i'm not talking about girls that are like into hardcore sex either i'm talking about girls like making out with girls at bars and shit like that where they don't actually do anything oh yeah yeah there's a lot of that going on where they're doing it for attention. Well, you ever hear of lugs? Lugs? Lugs. It's a phrase in high school and college that girls use.

It's lesbian until graduation. No. Yeah, like some girls just take it. That's new? Well, one of my friend's daughters is a lug. Really? That's what she said. Whoa.

She said she's only going to be a lesbian until she graduates. Wow, and then what happens? She graduates to cock. I don't graduates. Wow. And then what happens? She graduates to cock. I don't know. I don't know what happens. I like how you said that. You raised your eyebrows.

To cock. No rules. That's hilarious. Yeah. Wow. Lesbian until... I've heard gay for the stay for guys that go into prison. Oh, really? Yeah.

You never heard of that? No. They go gay while they're in prison only? Just gay for the stay? Yeah. You never heard of that? No. They go gay while they're in prison only? Just gay for the stay? Yeah. You never heard of that, Brian? No. Well, you don't watch enough Mexican gang movies.

You don't watch enough Mexican gay porn. Settle down. I don't think that exists. Does it? Yes. Yeah, you know because you're watching all the time. Oh, it's a trap. Oh, I tricked you.

I drew you into my less than obvious web. You're gay, Cave. I caught you in a gay trap. You fell on some gay spears. Dominic Herrera. Joseph, thank you for having me on, my brother. It's always a pleasure, my friend. We've got to do this more often.

Definitely. We're back to playing pool at least once a month, it seems like. I'm back after the 4th of July after I did the Atlantic City gig. I'll come back. I'm taking a couple days there and then I'll be here for at least a month.

Beautiful. What are you doing this week? What do you got going on this week? This week I'm doing a thing for all the radio guys in Miami Beach. Like all the disc jockeys. It's called Boot Camp

for all the morning hosts. Oh, yeah? That'll be fun. What is it? What do you do? I just do stand-up. Is it like a show? Well, I'm the show.

I'm just to give them a break from all the, it's like a convention. Oh, I see, I see. And then they hire comedians to come and perform at the convention. Oh, I didn't even know that disc jockeys have conventions like that. That's kind of cool. I mean, I'd heard about it, but I never saw it. Why don't we have a fucking convention? Why not? We should

have a fucking convention. We need a Death Squad celebration. Well, that's what Montreal is like. Well, the Death Squad would be fun. I'd love hanging out with Death Squad. Yeah, Montreal, that's one place that's legit like celebration and gathering of comedians. Yeah. But after a while, I stopped

doing it because it was like, it would kind of cost you money. You know, like if I spend like a week and a half in a place, I can't spend that much time away. You got to. Yeah. You're you know, you created your own niche. You're smart. I mean, you never like going. That's why I'm surprised you're going to Brazil.

Well, I like working for the UFC, too. You know, I don't. I think I think you got to do more than one thing in life. Yeah. I'm not happy when I'm doing, like, only one thing. I agree. I told you I'm doing Raging Bull 2 next week. I got a one-day shoot.

I'm playing Joey Lewis. Raging Bull 2. Now, you know, first of all, I guess Jake LaMotta must have all the rights to his, obviously, to his own life. Because I don't know how they could do it without, I think it's under his auspices. But it doesn't seem like Raging Bull to me without De Niro and Scorsese. But I heard the script was really good. Who's doing it? Who's directing it?

Zac Efron is. Jason Bieber as. Spencer Pratt as. Did you look it it up who's in it i don't know i think it's on isn't that funny though one one day with the uh one day at the tropicana one day raging bull too yeah so this raging bull too what is it uh what's the the premise is it like his later life i think it's later boxing After boxing? Yeah. Who plays him? I think Joe Bologna. It looks like it's...

There's a guy named Joe Bologna. You never heard of Joe... Don't say it like that. Well, I mean... William Forrest. Bologna. Bologna. Bologna is like...

We call it Bologna. But Italy's a city. I know that Italy is a city, but that city can go fuck itself That's baloney Who's William Forsythe Joe Montagna Joe Montagna

Oh Joe Montagna the actor The famous actor He's a great actor Paul Sorvino's in it Oh this is like a legit cast Natasha Hendricks She's the chick from Species. It wasn't legit when I was just in it.

No, it wasn't. It took away credibility. I had Penelope Ann Miller. Okay, that is a very legit cast. There's a lot of people. I'm trying to scroll. Does it say Dom Herrera in there? What kind of bullshit is this, Dom?

I think it does. It better be God damn listed. It did last week. Maybe they took me out. They don't want a death squad boycott. You'll be listed. Oh, man. Dom Herrera.

Yeah, I'll say. Yeah, you'll munch. That's my Tommy voice. Yeah, you're still listed. I'm listed. Dom, you're in the crowd. And you're also listed right before that for Pound Puppies, which is cute. I'm listed for Pound Puppies.

Am I really? Pound Puppies. Are you serious? Dom, you were on Pound Puppies? Yo, I don't want to talk about it. Pound Puppies. I don't want to ruin my Italian guy image. I was a beautiful dog on Pound Puppies.

I think... You were the fraud princess. Yeah. I was so beautiful, I thought I was a girl. But I was really a tough guy looking for a little bada-boom. Who was my father in that? Like, my owner. I don't know. Ted...

Like some famous actor that used to be... Where are you? Which one are you, Doc? Oh, I can't tell by looking. Oh, there. I think I'm the one with the... Let's get some volume on this. I never heard of it. Pound puppies. Homeward pound. Now, go, dogs, go! I'll be a Malamute's uncle.

Bonus features include a lesson on how to draw lucky. I'm not necessarily in this one. Have some fun. Yeah. Holy shit. Hey, Joe, you got to make a living, all right? That looks like it's designed to rob children of their brain cells. It sucks your brain out.

When did you do that one? Last year I was You know I played A few dogs In a few movies I don't want to brag I was in

Buck at the Barnyard You were in Kevin James You were Duke the Dog I was Duke the Dog Yeah And you're also wearing Never Age joke

Cartoons is the way to go Cartoons is a great gig Animation If you could be like A voice of the symptoms Like Harry Shearer Oh yeah I mean Harry Shearer Is rolling He yeah. I mean, Harry Shearer

is rolling. He's been doing that forever. You were on Dr. Katz a lot. Yeah, I was the most. I was on the most. I love that show. I love that guy. Yeah, John Katz.

He was a hilarious comic. And what was the other one? Hey Arnold. I mentioned that earlier. Yeah, what was Hey Arnold again? Hey Arnold was great. He was the kid

with the football head. Remember that? He had like a football head and he lived in a boarding house. He didn't have parents but his grandparents and all the people loved him and took care of him

and I was Ernie Potts, demolition guy. I'll level it today. He wanted to level everything. That's Hey Arnold. He's like Stewie but grown up. You like doing like little kid shows and cartoon voices and stuff

It's been such a great contrast for my lives And nightclubs you know It's fun You'd be great at it man you'd do a lot of voices Yeah I could do some fake voices They're real Joe Okay You know some kid she was so dumb

She goes I was Duke the dog And I was in my DUI class. I took my, one of my teachers, his kid loved barnyard. So I took a picture of Duke and signed it for her. She goes, you don't look like Duke. I'm thinking you're a fucking idiot. It's a cartoon. How old was the kid?

She was like eight or nine. But still. You called an eight or 9 year old a fucking idiot she was she was a cute kid but my god can't you tell it's animated? and on that note

Dom Herrera thank you very much thank you for stopping by it's always a pleasure Dom you're one of the funniest comics of all time and I'm proud to call you a friend

love you Rogan powerful Dom Herrera can be found on Twitter it's Dom, you're one of the funniest comics of all time, and I'm proud to call you a friend. Love you, Rogan. Powerful Dom Herrera can be found on Twitter. It's two R's in the beginning. Dom Herrera. Right? Two in the beginning? I-R-R-E-R-A.

I-R-R-E-R-A. Don't fuck that up. I-R-R-E-R-A. Follow him on Twitter. I promise he will use it as well as this young relative. We will get Dom Herrera to post photos. Perhaps an account with Instagram. Brian, can we

make this happen? Nah. What the fuck are you saying, son? It's not that early. Instagram will eat my dick. Instagram can eat Brian says Instagram can eat his dick. You hear that, Instagram? Wow. I say you reach out to Brian.

Especially since they're owned by Facebook now. Wow, so what? I like Facebook. What, you hate Facebook? Facebook's lame now. Don't be rude. Don't be mean. Facebook's lame.

This was live? This was live. I didn't know that. This motherfucker and Facebook. There's nothing wrong with Facebook. Facebook's boring. Don't be a hater. MySpace isn't even boring.

How about that? Brian, you're a good kid. Get it together. So you haven't felt that lately you don't like Facebook as much? Oh, quite honestly. It's already turning into MySpace for me. I don't even like going to it. No, quite honestly, I barely use it.

I use it a little bit for gigs, and I'll answer the occasional email. Love you. Thanks to the fleshlight. Go to JoeRogan.net. Click on the link. Enter in the code name Rogan. Save yourself 10%. Thanks to OnIt.com. Did I say 10? No. 10 is the next one. I should do these in order.

They should both be 15. They should be 15. God damn it. We'll get on that. We'll get on it. That's a lot to give people every week. Just raise it $5. I think Fleshlight's only good once. You can't be like some pervert trying to save 15% off every week. Just raise it $5. I think Flashlight's only good once. Just raise it 5%. You can't be like some pervert trying to save 15%

off every week jacking off into fake pussies. That's the end. Show's over. Onnit.com codename Rogan 10% off there.

Get some kettlebells, son. Stack on some fucking meat, son. Get yourself some farmer strength. All right, you dirty bitches. We'll see you next week. We got a lot of people

next week. We're still trying to get in touch with Josh Barnett, but we got Giorgio Tsoukalos next week, Jim Norton next week. What? Jim Norton? Yes, powerful Jim Norton on the 27th. And then on Friday, we got Adam Skourge, who is the writer, director, producer of the movie The Union,

that cannabis documentary that I was in many years back. Holler at your boy. See you dirty bitches next week. Big kiss. Love y'all.