The Joe Rogan Experience - #2333 - Protect Our Parks 15

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are stand-up comics, writers, and podcasters.Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Season two of his Netflix series, "Tires," premieres on June 5.www.shanemgillis.comMark is the host of the "All Over the Road" podcast, and co-host of "Tuesdays with Stories" with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. Watch his stand-up special, "Soup to Nuts," on Netflix.www.marknormandcomedy.comAri is the host of the "You Be Trippin'" podcast. Watch his latest comedy special, "Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart," on Netflix. www.arishaffir.com Go to ExpressVPN.com/ROGAN  to get 4 months free! Tap into exclusive PPVs with an ESPN+ subscription Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Joe Rogan Experience Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day! Alright, we're rolling. Are you on the ozempic? No. Come on, everybody's on the zem. I think it's probably bad for you. It might, in the end, be bad for you.

There's also that part of me I can't bring myself to actually Not work out. You look ripped. No no no You don't want to talk about it, but look at those shoulders dog those shoulders are coming in strong You look noticeably thicker like no, yeah, that's what I that's what I said to my trainer. He's like you want to lose weight I said to my trainer. He's like you want to lose weight. I said no Dude you've been in this gym like super fucking consistent if I'm it's awesome. I come here. It's awesome every day It's very nice. It's all every time you open that door and see you pop out of my fuck. Yeah

He's dead after it You worry about the buff comedy though, You know I will never actually get yeah Well, I very rarely wear a t-shirt on stage. That's just anything tight shirtless is my movie Yeah, Kreicher when he started losing weight, and he's getting jacked I'm like that's you're taking away from your act there fella exactly. No you you look like a football player now. I don't was getting some I also I don't do the a lot of fat jokes No, if any no, you don't really you might make funny yourself if it helps something yeah, it doesn't matter Well, you know it's all bad enough. You just you're more like squishy. There's a fat cat. Yeah affect it yeah

absurdly fat yeah talk about it for just really the fat jokes either No, no no really not really sometimes You just gotta attack the elephant in the room just to get it out of the way, but then after that fuck it But if you're really good, you don't even need it But if you have a joke that's funny that's felt like who fucking cares That's the weirdest thing is comics like policing what should be talked about If someone comes up with the most amazing fart joke of all time, I'm gonna die laughing You know it's like I don't do any I don't have any but it's like on anything and everything There's a take on anything and everything. That's like

Gotta find where my goal is to come up with the best once when he's in for joke of all It's dog no, no, yeah Pulled out three drugs. I've been here at eight minutes Just nicotine just as epic don't get the fence on us Lucy breakers. It's just nicotine. Just Ozempic. Don't get the fens on us. Lucy Breakers. What's the hecklefish? Oh, that's from, you ever see that YouTube show, The Y-Files? No.

It's a great fucking show. It's all about like fucking aliens and why you can't go into the Grand Canyon and you know, secret fucking temples and stuff like that. And AJ Gentile is the host and then this is a fish that sits in the fish tank next to him and talk shit to him Well the thing is like now everybody comes and they give me something for the table. That's like part of the fun.

I got this little Olmec head from Luke Caverns, pretty dope. I also got an Aztec death whistle, do not blow it. I blew it. I blew it at Theo's. The last time we had one of these and we blew it. Kalan blew it on the podcast and the pandemic started a month later. I'm not kidding. Fucking LA was locked down.

People were connecting it to the death whistle. It was a conspiracy theory. Poor Bob. Sorry. You got me. Ah, the death battle. That one drives me nuts. Yeah.

Pop Saget does? Yeah, because it's the same thing that happened to Heather MacDonald. Blacked out, fell fell smashed your head died She lived cuz she was on stage and luckily they got a floor medical help rug running the stage also it was fake No rug. Oh, no shoes. It was hard. I think there was a hardwood Video 30 times yeah, it's hard. I don't know her head bounces. It's very terrifying. Well, that's how people die Yeah, that's the big reason why people die in street fights to get knocked out and they hit their head It's not from getting punched to death most of the time right most of the time

It's from starting in your head. Remember the knockout game knockout game. Oh, that's so scary. Yeah Filming crimes is a very no, that's a hard stage Developed into the stage fractured her skull crazy really fractured her skull. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah scary shit Yes, you could bleed nice Jamie bleed in the brain and you could didn't eat the whole thing. the whole thing, that was perfect. Possibility you'll never be the same again. Question is, did it kill? Did it get a laugh? It did. It had the biggest laugh of the set.

Oh, yeah. All right, well, might've been worth it. Until people found out it was real. Yeah, they thought it was just being hilarious. Oh, wow. Yikes. Which is the way you would do it. You ever get an accidental joke

where you say something and everyone laughs, you're like, oh, I can see the double meaning on that. Okay, oh, it's Alperton, I meant that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, definitely. Well, that's the difference between writing it and saying it, right? Oh, I could see the double meaning on that. Okay. I'll pretend I met that Well, that's the difference she like writing it and saying it right you write it You know, I think I know how to go with this and then he got on stage and say it you're like, oh, that's the funny part Yeah, this is fucking ridiculous. The fact that this exists is yeah I'm always embarrassed if I wrote something and then say it and it's not even close

Fuck was I thinking? and it's not even close. What the fuck was I thinking? At this point, I always think of it as like a scaffolding. I'm like, I don't know what's good until I get up there. Yeah, well it's funny how when you're in your apartment, you're killing. You're like, man, this is good stuff. And then when you get up there,

you can like feel, this won't work. Right when you're on stage. I don't know why I'm saying this. But when you have people in front of you, you're like, oh, this is not gonna hit. Oh my God, it's the best. And then you went into it with so prepared, and then they're just looking at you like,

I don't get it. You go into it like, I wrote a new bit today, this thing's gonna fucking kill me. Yeah. Two words into it, you go. That's why comedy's great, because you can never really crack it. You can get better at it,

but you can never really go, this is gonna work. It's also like a truly collaborative thing, you have to have an audience. Yeah. It's like, a truly collaborative thing you have to have an audience Yeah, it's like like Gary Clark jr. Could write a fucking amazing album by himself in his like private music studio And nobody has to hear it until you listen to it the first time you like yeah damn Yeah, like Oliver Anthony's new album. I haven't heard it, bro Really, bro. There's a song We're gonna play this song you get you can't play it on the air, so we'll play it when you're you sent me

Oh, yeah, we'll play it and then we'll react to it. He okay. I'll tell you guys cut all this out I'll tell you guys what have it so Oliver Anthony has no money right? He's poor. He's someone farm equipment He puts his song on YouTube. He's a fucking superstar, right? He doesn't know what to do. He freaks out. He asked me for advice. I call him on the phone. We have a conversation for like a fucking hour

where I go, don't sign anything with anybody. And he's like, they're telling me I have to strike one of the irons high. I go, bullshit, they're trying to steal money from you. I go, you're independent, you're already there. You already made it. I know if you wrote that song. I'm like, if you wrote that song,

you could write a dozen of those fucking songs. You don't need anybody They're just there. He's like they're offering me seven million dollars I go no no no they're they're often to steal money from you for the rest of your life That's what they're doing. I go you don't need them you have talent So cut to he starts making millions of dollars doing arenas the wife divorces him. She wants everything She wants everything she wants more than. She wants more than half. She wants all the money that he's gonna be making in the future, cause she was with him when he was broke.

So she, it's fucking crazy. He's just tortured. Like, wants to die. Wants to die. And he writes this song. Wow. Wait, this song you're about to play? Yes, he writes this song.

You got it, Jamie? Bro. By the time this episode comes out out that song will be out. Okay The next day it's coming out tomorrow this the song yeah, so the day this comes out that that album don't seem right Oh, yeah, every divorce dude on earth is gonna be just fun. The judge says 5050 but the math don't seem right to a scorned woman. Whoo That's what he's saying. It's that doesn't make for her for her that she wants more than that. Yeah She's lucky he got out with a song because he would have killed her

Yeah She's lucky he got out with a song because he would have killed her. Yeah, if he didn't have a guitar, that's a strangling. That guy doesn't need a record deal. That guy don't need nobody. He don't need nobody. He's Lisa Loeb, remember Lisa Loeb? Did she do everything? She had a top five hit on a subway.

Wow. And then every label was like, we want you. And she's like, well, hold on now. I think I got the upper hand. Oh, very clever. Yeah, there's a bunch of people that done that now that just completely bypassed the system. Lobotomy.

Lobotomy? What happened there? Lisa Loeb? How do you keep, that's a stretch. That's a stretch. You see him? That's a storm going. Earlobe.

Some of those ladies, they kind of vanish. You know, like Lisa Loeb was huge. She was. She was the chick with the glasses right she was cute on VH one Yeah, some talk show thing she was very nice nice lady. Yeah Three right yeah But at 3 p.m.. You cut it off start to slow down mr.. Regimented. I won't sleep Anyway, let's talk more about you have our time

sleeping if I have too much of this same I'm on the pills your what pills sleeping pills taking an anti schizophrenia thing and what is your it's Syracue I've taken that a good shit sucks wait that's the only works for fucking Stanhope that makes you go to sleep. Yeah, yeah, it makes you sleep Wait, is that ways? Oh, yeah, have you tried deadlifts? Work out real hard, so you're exhausted you work out wait isn't there were Brody was on Serra quell no Is that what he got off? Yeah, I think I think he got off on his own and that's when he went off the rails

Yeah, that got real weird. He's a deadlift. When I got back from- Oh, you son of a bitch. He's a friend! But the math don't seem like it's a scorned woman. When I got back from Stan Hoaps, when I was out there, I had some Serraquill in the wrapper in my pocket.

And I got back to my parents' house, it was during COVID, my mom was doing laundry. Oh, no. And I was like, what the fuck is Serraquill? And I got back to my parents house. It was during COVID my mom was doing laundry. Oh Fuck is Sarah quill and I was like Yeah, did it help you sleep yeah fuck me out for like three days really Take somebody else's especially not Just not your dosage for anything for anything I woke up Wednesday. You could go beer to beer with him for sure, but anything else.

Just beer, yeah. Anything else, stay away. Stay hope as a tolerance. If you need it. He does. He says just don't go to the, just don't go to the doctor. Just sitting there saying you don't wanna know.

It's so funny when somebody gives you drugs and you're like, it's strong. Like, to who? Who are we talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just stay hope as various hernia's all over his stomach. He could just lay back and like, it's strong. Like, to who? Who are we talking about now? It's good point. Stan Hope, as various hernia's all over his stomach, he could just lay back and like pop his stomach open. Oh no.

Really? Yeah, he's a mess. He's the best. He's the best. He's riding it to the wheels fall off. He is. Hell yeah. He's a mess, he's the best,

he's riding it to the wheels fall off. Give that to Oliver Anthony and say, run with it. Run with it, yeah. An ode to Stan Hope. I check on his Instagram somewhere, he's wearing fucking flea market clothes in some other country doing stand up. Yeah, he did a-

We're in Ukraine. Get the fuck out of there. Go back to Arizona. We're in the smoking room at a bar in Ljubljana, I think I'll film a special here. Yeah, exactly, there's 30 people, let's go. He's a maniac. he did my podcast recently, and he you know it's like at 1 p.m. He gets hammered and then he's like what are we doing and we're like we got to do another one and he was like

What I thought we were hanging out all day, and he was pissed Well, you got to set the terms for your agreement in advance. I guess Hey, you do a pod you'd leave after you can't just assume We're gonna get hammered and hang out all day unless we talk about it right I would say though if I get day drunk with people like I assume yeah it's no fucking plans where you going after yeah if we get together and have barbecue at Terry Black's at one o'clock and like let's fucking get blasted yeah it's over the day's over yeah you're hanging out all day you're done for

three days I rarely get those days. I rarely get that. Those days were fun, back when you had all the time in the world. You had nothing to do, no pod. My family went away for a week. COVID was the best. Noon, you'd be with DeRosa, you'd call Big J,

it's 1202, you want a drink. That was the good thing about COVID, right? The people who are risk takers, you get together with them. You go outside, too, and just drink out there. How long did you guys together with oh, yeah, you go outside to just drink out How long did you guys go without being around anybody though? Oh? Man, so I was like good people all the time the whole time Yeah, you never like took a week off of I mean other than like family and like real close friends. Yeah, I did do that

It was that's like three three four weeks, but that's so bad for my brain. I went three months How many guys just never came back a lot of people Came back people are starting to come back. Yeah, I don't want to name them. Yeah, I know you're talking Yeah, yeah, you go. Yeah, it's funny to see them the first week And you know that's where I was when I got there's like hey too close too close Lewis Immediately go I'm like hey, I'm still trying to ink this licks your face But like you see people like hi like oh you just got back Elbow touches for a while

Like meet outside and elbow touches like fuck out here Everybody I was hugging everybody fuck it. Those were dark days. I'm over not here and yeah Those were dark days. I remember not thinking it was gonna end. Yeah. I know man. But there's a lot of good came out of it. It was my favorite. Forced me to move here.

It was my favorite too. Really? What a fun time. Really? You had time to think, time to hang out with your friends. Also I had just gotten canceled. It was perfect. Oh yeah.

I just went to a beach house. Same. Same actually. It was $20 on Airbnb. That's true. Because nobody was traveling. You went to North Carolina right? Didn't you have time to just sit in it though like you just know it about drinking at the beach Oh advice that I give you when you were to North Carolina was something normal

Don't say go I Don't hate Those it was making a bed, and it was making fire we made fires every night I remember you call me like hey, you're right on our feet fires rule. I look What a trash crew is the trashiest yes, that's fun crew of pigs Oh Yeah Oh Yeah These are all given to me by Jose on dress

You know, maybe you know, I know Cigar Echefer a short story. That's the goal goal you want short one. Let me see I'm actually alright I don't like any of them, but let me see all This is the one Yeah, the high-end version of this brand they're super legit. What do you want the short stories are great? I'll take a nice light one. You won't appreciate that's that might be too heavy for me do a short story Give me a little chode That's not a joke that thing's fine. That's true Well, if you want like a little bit like Ron White has those little tiny ones. Yes

Cigars Darius has those all the time, but he inhales those motherfuckers. He inhales them like he does a cigarette I'm like that is so bad for you Those are so bad for you. are so bad for you you're going you're taking straight cigar smoke in your lungs there you go you know how to do it that's it teeth how good is that song that's all free very good songs good soulful song feels like a throwback you can't fake that you can't fake that I've never heard a guy make a song about a X like that. Divorce. Yeah.

It's pretty funny. He's going through it, dawg. That's like, it's like, yeah. Rocks like, you'll be mad if you make 30 grand if you have to give up half. Half, half at 10 million is nothing. Half at 30 grand is. That's a fucking crazy song.

Great tune. Reminds me of Mike Lawrence's joke on Ralphie Mae during Rose Battle. He goes, your wife's divorced me Which is crazy to split up now and get half where you just wait six months and get all of it That's crazy, that's crazy. Hey Jamie do we have any beers in here? There's a whole cooler of them right there. Oh Could you imagine hello? Oh?

Hello Actually giving her that advice imagine like if you're the lawyer. I just wait a little bit if you're the lawyer You like you know take him out to eat Take him to fucking any Keep them going yeah Keep that party rolling did you ever work with pinet? Yes, I did he's a funny I saw pinet when I was like an open micer. He was like a few years ahead of me.

I saw him murder one night. Murder. Such a crusher. He had this bit about going to a Chinese food, all you can eat buffet. And they're like, no, you get out. Oh yeah, I saw that on TV. Bro, he did that at Nick's Comedy Stop one night, packed house. Brought the fucking house down. And he had that Boston old school

rapid fire punch line style, and he was a big guy. And he was fucking huge at one point in time, but the physical stuff, the body being that big, just sabotaged him. When I moved to LA, it wasn't the first time I realized how phony Hollywood is. He came into the improv, and all the agents and managers and the suck I was like John you look amazing

Guy Shane 20 minutes ago Everyone was very mean You look good well better That's like I believe he wasn't joking he was totally genuine and I good, well, better. I was like, yeah, thank you. I believe you now. He wasn't joking, he was totally genuine. Being honest with you. Yeah. Pretty funny.

Well, better. It's such a great. Better. All right. With how much of privacy is being invaded online, VPNs are no longer just a nice thing to have. It's a necessity. Some people think, I don't need a VPN

because I have nothing to hide. But that's exactly what data brokers want you to think because their profits depend on you having nothing to hide. What you do online is your business. And if you want to keep it your business, you need ExpressVPN. With ExpressVPN, 100% of your online activity travels through secure encrypted servers. It hides your IP address so no one can use it to track and sell your online activity and your privacy is restored. ExpressVPN is also a great tool to secure

your sensitive information from hackers. If you're using public Wi-Fi like at a hotel, airport, or coffee shop, anyone can hijack your connection and access your most sensitive information. With ExpressVPN, you know that your passwords and banking info are safe and secure. ExpressVPN is the number one ranked VPN by the experts at CNET and The Verge. And right now, you can get an amazing deal. They're offering four extra months free if you go to expressvpn.com slash rogan or tap the banner. And if you're watching on YouTube,

you can get your four free months by scanning the QR code on screen or clicking the link in the description. Yeah, imagine telling a 455 pound guy he looks great. You're looking fucking good, dude. You look great, I'll tell that to you. You look great. That's like, okay, good first step.

You've never looked better. You look 20 years younger. Oh, look how fat. Man. Unfortunately. He's already funny, just looks funny. He was so funny. You look 20 years younger. Oh look how fat Man Unfortunately, he's already funny just looks fine. He was so funny. He was so good if I was epic was earlier touch a good comic Oh, yeah, yeah, but then you have a big head He'd be alive the thing alive of the big heads pretty funny, too When you have a big fat guy's body your head grows

Your skull grows? Physically. Wait, what? Yeah, yeah. If you ever watch a big giant fat guy, when they lose a lot of weight, their head looks way too big for their body. Because they were 500 pounds.

They had a head of a 500 pound man for 20 years. And then all of a sudden, you get a belly band. Now you weigh a buck 50. You got a 500 pound dude's head. Go from a fighting style of this to All that chewing all these muscles One of the weirdest things Mewing is all about when people change their jaw. Yes your jaw moves your jaw can get larger

You can actually change your jawline from exercise isn't crazy. You can't alter your dick you gain weight Nothing happen you work you can't alter your dick. You gain weight, nothing happens, you can't work out your dick. We work out our dick every night. You can't do nothing to your dick. Nothing. Put a man on the moon. We can't. You can't fix the dick. Can't fix the dick. If you got a micro penis. Oh by the way that female boxer, that female boxer that's that everybody's saying was a woman. That's a man. Come on. on now proven wait. I thought you said sex result It was the Iranian one the Iranian one that won the Olympic gold medal is a man So she's funny They released a medical report who's that the iOS well the IOC is the one that allowed her to compete in the Olympics

But one of these amateur boxing organizations apparently did a test. I thought it was one of those, it's like you guys are wrong about this one, it's not a trans, it's actually just some, it's like Victor Semanja. It's a biological male. Yeah, that went through puberty, the whole deal. She's crazy.

Teeing off on bitches in Paris. Wap, wap. Oh yeah. That's so crazy. I love it. We should have that as an Olympic sport. Beating bitches. But, I think this person has like, Line him up. I'll tell you what, I ran with, I ran with crushing that fucking dominant. That is an Olympic sport Beating bitches I think this person has like Iran would crush in that No no you got to uppercuts

They have all the techniques down from years Like a crasher First you grab the arm You bend You say shut the fuck up I told you not to bring that up in front of my fucking friends Did I see you driving? I told you not to bring that up in such a my fucking friends. Did I see you driving? I told you not to bring that up in such a good like, help me out here, give me a good pitch.

You see Greta Thunberg's on her way there right now. She's gonna fix it. What is this? Greta Thunberg's on her way to Iran. She's gonna fix Gaza. Oh, she's taking a sailboat to Gaza. Three years fucking later. Who is?

I can't wait for them to meet her. Bro, that little how you dare, how dare you girl? How dare you? You know the girl yeah dare you you know the climate change girl you know the little autistic girl she's a free Palestine she's singing things off her phone now she's at the front of a boat like George Washington making its way to Gaza whatever really it's like there she is is the environment done Leonardo DiCaprio she's got a nice boat from the river to the rising sea levels she's gonna do she's gonna break Well those IDF guys are gonna turn her into cat food

People they will light her up from the fucking shore Even close they don't play no everyone's gonna they don't both sides are gonna blow that but yeah, they don't Yeah, maybe come together on who gets to blow it up. Maybe that can bridge the gap here She could say yeah yourself for all of us. Well, she could be just the best person ever Nothing green or killing yourself. She could be someone that they take advantage of how use at the front of the line for every cause It's one of those she's a young kid man It's so crazy to take a young kid and like put them up alter their lives This is gonna be your life now forever. You're the face of X Y and Z

This is not up there and it is obviously not obviously but it could be out of her hands She probably has handlers and political shit, but for now at least she's Yeah, gamefully employed when they got the South Park kids to fight against Harbux. What's Harbux? Harbux coming in. Was it Starbucks? Yeah, it's overcoming tweaks. And they're like, make the kids do a story about it.

And they're like, ah, all right. And then it's like, the children are upset. It's the easiest way to go to get your calls done. Let a kid be crying about Trump. The war, though, like Israel, Palestine, and Russia, Ukraine really ended the fucking climate change. Oh yeah, ended everything. You know what I mean? It was like, there's World War III's coming.

It's like, we don't have time. Yeah, none of the climate change people are like, these bombs are increasing the temperature. Yeah. I think Greta Thunberg actually, unless that was fake. It ended a lot of shit. Like the Palestine, it was like, oh, we forgot about Ukraine, we forgot about BLM, we forgot about the... It ended everybody saying, dead babies are bad.

They go, well, let me see where they were from first. It's crazy, however, but it's just not, this is all just terrible. It's really terrible. You can't get them in Texas either. It's a weird time. Hey, I caught that one. Hey, thanks.

I caught it too, I just stared right through it. I just stared at the table going, I don't even think that's funny. Eugh. It is crazy I can't watch porn here on my phone. That's a real fucking bummer. You can. You just have to take a photo of your ID and send it to the government. What's the problem, Mark?

What am I, a migrant? We want to know how into feet you really are. Why are some of these states doing that? What is that? Tennessee or something? I don't mind feet. We just want to track you completely. It is. We want to see what your search history is on Point Hub.

It's a nice treat though. You go on the road, you go, oh yeah. Yes, exactly. You guys are out in New York, you don't know. It's all the tax-free states too. Florida, Tennessee, Florida I don't know. Tennessee for sure. It is a bummer and the only way you find out is when you're doing a show in Tennessee. When you get on, you're like, what? Don't you guys know about ExpressVPN? Get ExpressVPN, say you're fucking phoning in from Thailand you can see everything yeah, but then sometimes it goes like it's not registering right It's not to come on really VPNs

Say the result is I go on X videos now More regular chicks now I'm turned on and just regular bars before it had to be at this level now I'm like you only got 10 extra. I'm turned on to just regular bars. Before it had to be at this level. Now I'm like, you only got 10 pounds extra. I'm into it. X videos is rough though. It's rough. You hit some fucking bad lighting, bad stomachs. Ladies need to know, 10 pounds extra

is way better than 10 pounds too thin, right? Ozempic 10 pounds, that Ozempic 10, where your face gets sucked in. It depends if you're sitting up. I like soft. Yeah, you don't want the holocaust. Yeah, like an extra few pounds is nice Like when girls start thinking they need to lose weight that's when they're like right there, and they start fucking with their face. Oh

When they get to the point where they think they should lose a little weight and stay right there Have you that's that's where they're perfect Have you you about to call? You about to call me Oh Man cuz like you gotta stay on that bro It's gotta be you don't get on it and lose a hundred pounds and then like alright now I get it big Jay's doing great on Ozempic slowly. Yeah, no he's skinny. Yeah, he's just on the road with me this weekend He's like slowly going down his head. What's his head look like? You got a normal head, okay?

He's turned into you can see that he's an old Jew now. Yeah Enough that you didn't really see all the Jewish features William Shackler say stays fat because it keeps the wrinkles away Shackner Fucking Kirk Shatner Shatner whatever Favorite basketball player Kirk Shatner Shatner whatever But he it's funny to watch Jay like whenever we get in a car now to go somewhere he's like I'll get in the back And it's like oh You're spry now Big guy I relate to that it did one day. I dreamed to like, fellas, I'll sit in the way back.

So what's he gonna do with all those giant jean shorts? Sell them? He's gonna buy new clothes. Make a sale for Greta. Sew them all together. Make a big jay-set. Myanmar. Weehawken. I hope she live vlogs that shit. I want to see her go down. Some of the rebels we were arming knee tents

Yeah, fire them up gretta thurnberg going to Palestine is like those people going to the uncharitable islands and be like hi, I'm Christian Yeah, like North Sentinel Island you forsaken me Or the white social worker who goes into Baltimore ghetto he's like hey everybody I'm here and they just beat the fuck out of me. This isn't, this isn't, what's the movie with the coolio song? How about the dude who was a Rockefeller? The dude who was a Rockefeller who went to the Papua New Guinea tribe and they ate him? You know what he fucked up? Yeah he fucked up because he said I'm actually very important where I am they go oh that's more nutritious.

No no what happened was he fucked up and was trying to get a sacred item from them and trying to buy it from them. And they didn't wanna give it, and he was very insistent, and he apparently offended them deeply. And then when he returned, they're like, oh, he's back. And they stabbed him when he was in the boat. They were taking him in the boat over there,

and they stuck him with a spear. And he was like, ah! Screaming out, and he cried. And the guy who told the story, there's a whole depiction of how he died pull it up I read that is because also like he was an important man in America in another country like that's that's better to eat that That's a good person to eat. I think the big thing The thing was the offense cuz they would kill them the first time

Back mmm. Yeah, I just wanted I'm trying to remember who it is It might have been a Rockefeller what somebody somebody's like kid went to Africa and paid to watch them cannibalize a kid Yikes, whoa, I got a man. It's a Rockefeller Like one of those names. Yeah, what if he's telling this at a party's because guys just you know They were gonna kill him and eat him anyway. He did know that's I think that's exactly what he did Watch it. Oh

How about that dude general butt naked remember that guy He would they would kidnap a child and cut the child's heart out and eat it raw before they would go into battle And he would go into battle buck naked James whiskey By a slave girl to watch her get cannibalized what? Is that true referenced a hundred and thirty year old what it's a tough one Hundred thirty year old scandal and a horrifying anecdote from a colonial expedition. Jamo's been around for 130 years Wow, he bought a slave girl to watch her get cannibalized What's true go up at the top scroll up right there by his own admission James who witnessed the murder mutilation of a girl and is now the

Democratic Republic of the Congo in 1888 incident took place after Jameson paid handkerchiefs to a man who said give me a bill of cloth and see No, boy what Jamie so? Jameson insisted he did not set out with the intention of causing or witnessing any murder or act of cannibalism and describe what he ultimately Witnessed as the most horrifyingly sickening sight I am ever likely to see in my life I mean somebody's like that's a fair statement What do you guys do you guys eat people's like give me a handkerchief and you'll see and that's all you have to give the Guy a handkerchief and we all would have done it Not knowing what it's gonna be

First of all, I'd be terrified to not give him the handkerchief. Yeah Killing and eating people know what you're getting. Well, the guy who got killed and eaten in Papa New Guinea I bet he had no idea he offended them. No. He thought he was bargaining. Yeah. You know, like if you don't know their culture and you're deeply offending them

by wanting some sacred item that they have, like whoopsies. Pissing on the tree in Midsommar. Yeah. In where? In Midsommar. Piss on the tree, like what are you doing? He's like, I just wanted to piss.

I don't know what that is. What is that reference to? Oh, it's a hell of a movie. Midsommar? Ari Aster? Do you know it, Jamie? I just want to piss I don't know what that is. What is it? That's a hell of a movie. It's so more Ari Aster Do you know it Jamie? Good wreck. Yeah, I've never seen this. Oh, you would hate it would I hate it? No But it's cool

You would think it was fucked up. It's fucked up. It's an indie book. It's pretty great. But it's cool. It's an A24. Anyway, the reference, forget it. How many fucking AI movies are gonna be made over the next year? Oh, they're coming. All of them. Let's get rid of the actors. I'm all for it.

They're coming. Well, we don't have to hear from them. Yeah, we don't have to hear from them. All the mediocre actors, all the like CBS, like cop show actors who always play like the deputy. We've got the papers, but we don't know if he did it yet All the NPCs are gone, they're looking real good they can make a protect our parks AI Do it so easy to replicate that we replicate it Not at their best. Play Free Bird 40 minutes in. Yeah, we'll do some Hitler stuff. Get some fun in there. Get a couple drinks and do some Hitler speeches going. Hey, every play coming out of the closet? Oh, no, he probably will play.

Hey, that dude Kanye. Kanye won the Hallelujah one, is that real? Is that legit? He actually changed it? Yeah, he made a Hallelujah one. Another version. Of the same song. But it's not Christians hallelujah, they still have the n-word in it nay. I do not believe so

I think it's brothers he says brother. Okay, that song was the craziest song We talked about no no Catchy and fucking insane Three things you could never say altogether. Yeah. Well, it was tough how tricky it was, or how catchy it was. I know. I'd listen to it and then I'd be like, that was crazy. Then the rest of my day I'd be walking around like, hmm.

Exactly. It was one. I was humming it. Shows how important Twitter is. They like, they kept it up. I know. It's up there. It was number two in Israel. What? Yeah, hit the chart, pull it up. I know It's up there. It was number two in Israel

What yeah hit the chart pull it up? Give it a go. Oh I still got the n-word in all right good. Oh, yeah, so you just changed that part. Yeah, it's like that It's how the melody goes you gotta leave it. Okay. I only heard one part where you send all my brothers Christians Google of his number two in Israel. I swear I heard that on spot They changed the heil Hitler song to the hallelujah. Yeah, it's wholesome. That's nice swear I heard that on spot they changed the Heil Hitler song to the Yeah, it's wholesome. That's nice now. That's like when they changed out. Let's get retarded. Let's get it started. Yeah Clear shift of like when things change, you know the first one is a shift of like when things change. You know the first one is Tutti Frutti.

Tutti Frutti the original was Tutti Frutti Good Booty. Little Richard was singing about booties. Tutti Frutti. Tutti Frutti Good Booty. It's all about sex. If you listen to the song, it was an IHOP commercial. The original version of the song, like you can see the lyrics online you can find them That was the original song. He was talking about That's how you're thinking about good booty Good for him This episode is brought to you by UFC on ESPN plus alright guys mark your calendars because UFC 316 is going down

Alright guys, mark your calendars because UFC 316 is going down Saturday, June 7th, live from Newark, New Jersey and this card is stacked. In the main event, Mirab Dwaevishwili aka The Machine, the bantamweight champion of the world, making his second title defense and he's taking on none other than Sugar Sean O'Malley. You heard that right, it's a rematch from their wild clash at Noche UFC. Then in the co-main, it's Kayla Harrison finally getting her shot at UFC Gold. She's facing Julianna Pena, who is defending her title in her second reign. And listen, there is some serious heat between these two because whoever comes out on top might just end up

facing Hall of Famer Amanda Nunes. Don't miss this one. Purchase UFC 316 at espnplus.com slash Rogan Saturday, June 7th at 10 p.m. Eastern. Very gay. See if you can find the lyrics. He used to come into the store, little Richard. Stay next door. Really? Yeah.

He used to live there, right? Yeah, he lived at the, it was a Hyatt back then. Holy shit. Weird. Sometimes guys get to a certain point where they just want a maid Fucking clean the room who cares an apartment anywhere else same thing Val Kimmer live in a hotel, too probably so Wild thing they do so much money

Yeah, I know right that Chateau Marmau live there. Yeah when you're cracked out Yeah, it's a good place to go to be fully cracked out It's the beginning of the end over there. You go there with a fucking plan velvet jacket in a plan It's a right level of coke where I think I have powers you got a cigarette holder with them long stems I must be so nice. I know that high on cocaine that you're like I am the man This place I wouldn't want the maid coming in though living in a hotel you get secret shit in there Yeah, but that's the drill of it. It's like spies like spy versus spy and you're so high

I'll skip it. Yeah Absolutely convinced the maid is CIA. Yeah, that's what I made. It's like you're coming in you're coming all the way in Don't peek in your head. It's something hot about the maid in the room You can grease it make it easy They replace with tutti frutti already tutti frutti already tutti frutti good booty if it don't fit don't force it You can grease it make it easy. What is the rest? This is a WAP. This is the original WAP. Tutti frutti good booty If it's tight, it's alright. If it's greasy it makes it easy. Wow I think it said he was playing the song live and then when they recorded it changed it. Wait, he was gay?

Oh yeah What? Verses contain descriptions of anal sex, oh my goodness My goodness gross What does it say about hold on go back to the bottom stop right there? Blackwell contacted local songwriter Dorothy a lady wrote this Bustry to revise the lyrics. Oh, there we go with little rich is still playing in his characteristic style after lively performance blackwell knew the song was going to be a hit but recognized that the lyrics with their Minstrel modes and sexual humor needed to be revised for lyrical purity little habits time

Someone should make that now with your original. Yeah Yeah, yeah little little nausea put that out. Oh, yeah, oh yeah, it was 1955 he was talking about greasing up guys dicks and asses fettywap could do it free fettywap free fetty Accused Juicy J. I think it was selling drugs. Oh, I don't know. Juicy J could pull that song off of the list. Yes.

Yeah. He never came off his game. There's dudes out there that could pull that off. Can't get a mouth pregnant. Ha. That's a Juicy J lyric. Is that right? Yeah.

That's fun. They used to have to hide. Gay guys used to have to hide. Isn't that crazy? Just like Rod Hudson. Just have to hide. The psycho. That's fun They have to hide gay guys used to have to hide that's crazy. Just like a metaphor stuff to hide the psycho Anthony Perkus, oh he was gay too big homo

You know where they still have to hide though leading man rolls Yeah, I don't know if that's true. Well. He's gonna fly off a mountain just to not blow a guy But you know I'm saying like if you know a guy's married as a husband You don't want to see him in a leading role making out with a lady for what you like ah He's all they're thinking about that's good point point, but it's that but it's the one thing But we don't we were homophobic like openly right like lesbians It doesn't matter like if you know a lady's a lesbian like Jodie Foster She's allowed to play a wife of somebody no one blinks

But if you know the name one instance of a guy who's a young handsome gay guy who gets to play a guy who's a young handsome gay guy who gets to play straight in a big movie. So like who would use like if you found out that Christian Bale like if you found out Christian Bale it would ruin his whole gig. Who are the gay now? He'd be like he's like one of those actors like Daniel Day Lewis. Too good. Where you're like right such a fucking artist that you'd be like up to a point something like that I'm happy no one's pulled that Tom Hardy Marty's by True yeah, but I can't go all the way is that confirmed

Mohegan statements, that's for sure. I'm hard so weird statements are fun He's explicitly stated that he's while I'm not not explicitly stated he's gay or bisexual, he's acknowledged exploring his sexuality. Alright, what are we doing there? He just wears masks. He just wears masks. Come on. No, he's tooty fruity. He's exploring.

He wears goggles. He's great on Mobland, bro. He's a beast. I've heard Mobland rules. He's so good. He's great at everything. Have you seen it already? Uh-uh.

Oh my god, Paramount Plus, Mobland, five stars. I give it all the stars. Whoa. Guy Ritchie show. Oh, he's great crazy English mob show you like Jesus Christ every show gives me anxiety every episode What the fuck they need a rating system back on TV because I am too deep into these shows where it's like Oh, this is made for children And like you don't know

Has stuff on regular TV and stuff like that and they just blended all in together You know what you're getting into? You watching bluey? You watching Cocoa Melon? You're watching episode 7 of bluey This is for fucking kids Are you trying to watch a miss Rachel? Yeah, what is uh, don't they tell you like violence, nudity, all that stuff at the beginning of the show?

So you need that otherwise like I can't have it. I need one's made for half deer all the kids are half It's a kid show where they're half animals sweet tooth sweet tooth never heard of this what is it it about? It's a little post-apocalyptic. Sweet tooth. A post-apocalyptic? Yeah, where like women's animals started merging. What? Yeah, it's a cool idea, but it's a kids show. They don't tell you in the teaser. It's not really a kids show. DC Comics, I don't know. It's like not made for adults. What are you missing? They had more violence? More real violence. It's just too sweet. It's made for like 15 years. That's cute. Kids with antlers. Yeah. It's kind too sweet. It's just made for like That's cute kids with antlers. Yeah, kind of weird fun. They got to sleep in the back. Is this a new? How you sleep with the antlers bullshit you think it's cute give kid a fucking headgear that he can't move around his house He tries to get through the trees and get stuck. He's gonna cry

Yeah, human kids with antlers terrible idea terrible idea I do it they gotta fall out boy And then your fucking neck hurts because you carry all that extra weight and it falls off and it pops back up again And that means you only breed once a year if you have antlers You're gonna stab your friends to death The air we gotta watch out for you. Yeah, you're gonna stab your friends to death with those antlers You're gonna be on the woods. You're gonna shoot with that motherfucker I'll hunt those kids. This shows recommended pages 10 and up Yeah, the antlers that sometimes they get stuck in a tree 100% yeah animals die that way sometimes

Guys like moose like when they shake their fucking antlers off, what's that called? Oh, yeah shedding Yeah giant paddles it like surprises them and then they're free because all that weight you know much those things way Those are bone, but it's basically a weapon right so this is a these two deer are locked Yeah, you got it this guy's gonna shoot the antlers off he's gonna separate them fuck so he's gonna do that with a shotgun He's just gonna get a good shot. Oh, well. He's gonna shoot the antlers and not them not them. He's an expert. Oh He's a really good shot. No, it's real close So all he has to do is like clip one of the antlers and he'll blow them all apart He got it. Boom.

Oh! So he shot the antler, boom. What a guy. And then they broke free. Holy shit. Because they get eaten by coyotes that way. And the coyote eats your friend while you're stuck to him.

Yeah. They found this one deer, well a buddy of mine found one deer that was connected still to this dead deer. Oh, yeah. The coyote's eaten his friend, they tore, ate his guts out everything was gone They just ate as much as they wanted in the morning. He's still stuck

Whoa yeah, and he lived imagine how horrifying that would be your handcuffs your buddy your buddy gets eaten by zombies, but they're full It's like when those guys fuck the Siamese twin and they're like what's only one asshole look at this Here's another one of those so this is this so this happens more than you know it's talking them So it's coyotes that are moving in on they've already killed his buddy, and he's still attached to him and they look It's just it's just gory and Horrible that's brutal crazy, and he was stuck with them the whole time Horrible that's brutal crazy, and he was stuck with them the whole time Coyotes are just little wolves. That's all they are they're little wolves that are everywhere in every state They're everywhere everywhere they came to their my parents house now in Pennsylvania. Yeah, they spread across the whole year midnight

It's fucking it's pretty intense. You know start screaming. You know they go somebody's fucking pet triangulate, right? Yeah I need mostly pets my cat was out there, and I was watching TV when I heard him all screaming I heard like screaming for a little and I was like the fuck was that and then I walked outside my cat Was like laying on the ground and there were just three coyotes what circling him, and I don't run out there. I'm scared Yeah, get the fuck out of here Yeah, they don't run out there. I'm scared. Yeah Yeah, they don't listen, but I picked my cat up and he was purring it was very weird. It's probably so happy Yeah, it was really sweet. Yeah, sweet. Yeah, I love that cat. He's dead now Alright, Peter the problem with you got fucking mold by something. He was an outdoor cat. Yeah outdoor cats are little murderers though I like he had it coming. Oh, yeah, kill all the birds and present it to you. Yes

Rabbits in the house alive killed this for you fucking demon I love you Shane. It must be to be a cat and all you have all your food. So you're covered already You know this is fun. Yeah, you're not eating for survival. I like to let them out. I feed on it one of the house Okay, yeah, if a cat's got a yard, it's kind of brutal to not let him out, but it's brutal to let him out for exactly I love those missing cat pictures and on the on the post in LA guess what buddy It wasn't no Now it's like before a coyote you found your cat dead on the side of the road Every now and then like a month later that they will come back like a stepdad

That's how they've both my cats were outdoor cats, and they came back see fucking mauled Really one of them had its eyeball hanging out Back to the house like John wick Torn up they go out and fight to the death. Yeah cats fight. It's horrible watching cats fight Oh, yeah, especially the outside ones where they really get after it because they used to killing things yeah Regular indoor cat their whole life. They just like walk around with a boner never get the fuck You know that's what it's like you're a little murderer, and you're a little murderer. That's contained in the house That's true, and you show me your asshole if you let that little murder out it could be 11 years old 11 years of the perfect

life Lock on a bird City cats or outdoor rural cats Yeah, just like you like humans Appalachians over New York City if Dallas had to like fight the ranchers Bath Tim Walls vs. Rogan. Yeah, it's not yeah The world's got it all day long. It's funny I had pride in that like I would win in Queens when I was walking around I'd see like an outdoor cat, and I'd just be like

Tim would fuck you up My guy would fuck you up my cat. I got a Maine Coon. That's awesome huge Big ears, but I can't let it out no shit. It's staying in my apartment That thing's jumping up the stairs. It's crazy. When I was in high school, we lived across the street from this park area. And I had this black cat. This cat was evil. He killed everything. And one day he killed a squirrel and he was dragging it across the street. The squirrel is as big as him.

He's got his mouth on the squirrel's neck and the squirrels bodies between his legs Yeah, and he's walking like this Dragging it cuz he wants to show me that he killed the squirrel Yeah, I was watching him do it from the window in the kitchen. I was like what the fuck I have to have told the story on here before and stop me if I have I Watched people killed a rabbit in the yard, and I heard it screaming So I like went out to be like I pulled him off the rabbit and

When I lifted it was funny. He was all muscle. I was holding him under his chest. He was just Like he could feel him feel him breathe it then I put him back in the house And as soon as I put him down he fucking scratched me and walked away It was crazy Ruin is fun piece of shit. This is what I live for It was crazy. Wow. Yeah ruin is fun piece of shit. Yeah, this is what I live for That revenge that I called gay by my cat Did I tell you what my dog got honey dick by coyote and tricked into breaking into the chicken coop honey dick? What huh? Yeah, this is coyote became his friend

He was his big mastiff and the coyote the coyotes knew they couldn't eat him because he was huge So they became friends with him Hmm, so he thought they were dogs and so the coyote hopped the fence is like hey, you know There's a chicken in there. We can get in there He's like I can get in there so he fucking tears open the chicken coop because he could at any time He wanted to the coyote grabs it and the coyote hopped over the fence I watched the coyote hop over a six-foot wrought iron fence like it was nothing I watched the coyote hop over a six-foot wrought iron fence like it was nothing

He leaped up in the air touched the top of the fence with his feet and then put his back feet on and hopped over With a chicken in his mouth like a Mexican. I was like I am under taking the chicken. No, I just saw the chick we were playing I was playing a board game with my family in the living room and One of my kids yelled out one of my kids yelled out, one of my kids yelled out, it's a coyote. And then you see this fucking coyote run across the backyard with a chicken in his mouth, just get to that fucking fence and leap. It like flew, like gravity wasn't real. You like impressed or were you mad?

Super impressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's like that, you can't be mad. I was mad, I wanted to kill it, but it's like that's what they do, and that was impressive. I wanted to kill it But it's like that's that's what they do and that was impressive That's all you that chickens cost is worth you say oh 100% but then Johnny realized that there's this whole that was like one chicken was brooding and when a chicken's brooding you have to separate them from

The other chickens because they won't lay eggs and they pick all their feathers out They think they're gonna make a baby with this unfertilized egg, so they would just want to sit on top of the egg. They don't want to go around. It's a weird psychological thing. The way to break them of it, you take them and you put them in a little tiny pen by themselves where they have to stand on a post. So then they can't nest, right? And then they do it for a few days like, I'm over it. And then they go back to being a regular chicken. They're not the smartest things in the world. Sure. So this one was in this Little tiny one, but then Johnny Cash realized I could just go through this wall because he was a

140 pound mastiff he was huge so he just tore the chicken wire open himself and killed nine chickens before I got to Shit yeah, that was a couple days later, but the before I got to him. Holy shit. Yeah, that was a couple days later. But the coyotes had talked to him and convinced him like chicken eating is fun. You're not eating these chickens, look how big you are, you can eat the chickens.

It tricked him into doing it, man. He had never done that before. And then he's hanging out with this coyote and the coyote is like his homie. Damn. Honey dictum? Honey dictum. What's that term? They probably sent a female coyote and just like

The Morris that's all like they send other cute ones to try to convert you try to get you in heard it works No, but the problem is it's a Utah hot so it's like a five No, but the problem is it's a Utah hot so it's like a five Chubby and fucking not tattooed you see Japan Anyone in Utah that's out of the Mormons are just like fuck Get out Hey, I was they get out once they go hard far out they go hard fake tits they go in well Seems they feel like they have to make up for lost time right and wear a magic underwear since you're 24 They can't even drink coffee. That's so crazy be good. Drink energy drinks. Did you know that really?

Yeah, my friend was a Mormon he was down in these fucking giant monsters. I was like bro. That's way more caffeine Yeah, then a cup of coffee. He's like yeah, but it says coffee. It doesn't say energy drinks. Okay, yeah, but a guy wrote it. We know the guy. Yeah, yeah. It's tough telling a Mormon, they believe a guy wrote it. They're like, what are you talking about? A 14 year old wrote that down.

Just some dude. He had gold tablet and he was the only one that could read it. He would deprive energy drinks of you too. That's true. He would keep you from that too. He would now. Oh yeah, 100% He just didn't know about it. No loopholes.

No porn, no caffeine, no booze. Magic underwear. And they gotta soak I just didn't know about it. No loopholes. No porn. No caffeine. No booze magic underwear And they got a soak they can't thrust fine. I don't mind Gets off on a soak just leave it in no movement. She's like that's what I like like whoa Fuck do you find her that be Mormon country, New York When I found out about soaking I was like You know you're gonna blow if you're soaking Blow just being next to a girl? Yeah crazy meat glove in there People yeah, it's designed to trick you into it you see Japan's birth rate is so low They're flying people in you get a birth right?

Yeah, it is crazy. Yeah, they make it a real economical real safe to live there too a lot of appeal But you got to learn Japanese and I think they would learn of their easy language to learn is it It's so nuts that people develop these fucking languages that are just so different than anywhere else Oh, you look at like Russian writing you like what are you doing with the letters? I was in New York yesterday, and there was a there's a white family speaking like I'm usually pretty good at picking out What the language is yeah? No idea? Already Maddie might have been probably a stone Icelandic or some shit. Oh something like crazy like King yeah They look like Vikings. Oh yeah, I just played Reykjavik. That is a great town

Unreal it's like otherworldly its glac's glaciers, it's volcanoes, it's saunas and hot springs. And they all speak English. Oh yeah, oh yeah. In town, for sure. It was great, no my always. Deep in the town they do viking songs. Deep in the whatever, they don't, but like, yeah, rake of it rules.

That's all cool drink in town. Yeah, great town. Art is interesting, the chicks are like smart. Yeah. That's where all the strong men come from too. Oh yeah, big dudes out there. All those Magnus von Magnussen type dudes. Blonde men.

Big fucking Viking leftovers. That's a cousin fucking. I was hoping I had some Viking in me. You don't? No, just strictly fucking Irish. You got a big Irish in there. I was hoping I was one of those fucking Irish people that got raped by Vikings.

Yeah. So I was like, I'm probably a fucking Viking. No, just a fucking mud person. How far back can they tell like what happened to you? Yeah, what percentage? They're all the same. They're always updating it too, like 23andMe. Thank god they didn't get bought by the Chinese.

Some other company bought 23andMe. Now our data's safe again, boys. I don't know what they're going to do with my spits. They're going to use it to make a fucking disease that only kills you. They got your DNA now. I got that. I got that already. It's called fucking... I promise.

Me and my whole island that I came from. I did Belfast. It's wild. You can't bring up the whole... Oh yeah, the Troubles? Yeah, the Troubles, which is a cute name. You can't bring up the whole you know yeah the troubles which is a cute name Flag on Instagram, and I got like 20 messages like take that shit down If you put up a flag you're gonna get messages from somebody that's true Yeah, Spain has like three flags the pride flag got me in trouble to brian it's the whole month boys that's right it's time yeah

if you know why is this talk about it yes I have you are anymore every corporation funny the corporation like we don't have to anymore turns out we were always didn't give a fuck yeah we never once actually gave a fuck give a fuck for one month oh is it still pride month yeah this, just started say no pride month. They're still gonna do pride pride month. I know pride month I hope he doesn't say no pride month Well, you can't they're gonna really but the thing is you can't like way if we decide to protect our parks month Who the fuck? Yeah, it's not it's not an official thing. Yeah

Who are the officials at this point point the gay over my month no more Trump administration says Who are the officials at this point point the gay over my month no more Trump administration says Nine month what is that that is the the thing that allows women to compete with only women in sports Oh title nine where they have to good women sports money. Yeah, yeah equal Representation for women sports and now time I said women's it's anti-trans it was well women It's pro women and then there's trans women who think they're women and they want to compete with women and protecting Dude with a problem

If you just were allowed to like beat up women if you like made a league where men are allowed to fight women My fucking league hasn't taken off Yeah, where it's like he went to like Iran or something with his check and she was like we're supposed to come here I was like you talk to you let her talk to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah About the boys like I'm gonna take my baby on a nice vacation Yeah, some guy in the neighborhood might smack her in the head for you Yeah, some guy might walk by and just smack her if she's yelling at you Hey, you know Iran is the place that has them one of the places that has the most Gender transition surgeries. No way.

Yeah, you know why? Why? Because you can't be gay. Oh yeah. So. So they just become trans. You gotta go all the way. Not a religious loopholes.

Interesting. Yeah. See if that's true. I'm pretty sure that's true. I love that moment. You say something like, actually that might not be. Pretty sure that's true. I'm pretty sure we've actually looked it up before.

And so you're not gay, you're trans, so it's okay. But they don't allow trans. They do. They do. You just actually looked it up before and so you're not gay you're trans so it's okay But they don't allow trans they do they do they do wait. I'm gonna wrap it up Ah, I'll be convinced wrap it up and try the head cover the face. Oh, yeah, it's so easy to be trans there Yeah, you could be a furry. That's what furries are all about you had a hatch used to hatch true You pop the hatch fucking a squirrel. That's what's going on You're just a happy chipmunk Everybody just looks like a cute cartoon character. Never go eye to eye with anybody because they're soulless. There's no either There is a sex reassignment surgery is not only legal in Iran But to Ron is considered to be an international hub for obtaining it guys the procedure has been allowed since Ayatollah boy

Say his name. I told Khomeini, but the first the min the minimal part was Ruala I've never heard that Khomeini learned of the hardships of trans women and issued a religious decree to legalize it in the mid 1980s So it's illegal to be gay, but you can switch switch genders cuz that's what's really going on. You're just you're not really a gay man. That's impossible I'm a nice. He's like Muslim Sharia thing Yeah, you can be a chick okay, are you sure all right? Let's go surgery guys are good at it We've been doing it since the 80s what wow the 80s. Yeah, we use a curvy sword we slice your penis Whoo yeah, by the way every cocked over seven everybody's cats trans

Wait what yeah, you have a male cat you castrate them Everybody does because you leave them in the house if your cat goes in the house. They'll pee all over your fucking house That's true. They will mark every spot in your house cat games. You have to cut their balls off It's fun It's amazing how many cats there are out there because every male cat gets his balls chopped off That's true with cat the stray cats do all the fucking oh yeah, they do a lot of fucking pick up the slack Get a little spikes where they go in they can't come out You ever see that video where the crow? Talks these two cats fighting each other

He fucks with them he fucks with one cat, and he flies over to the other roof and fucks with the other cat Get some fully worked up fully worked up, and then they fucking start duking out and the crow flies down He goes down while this crab runs like this is great He loved it He's a dumb kid Instigated it got it to happen and was a fucking willing participant We should be using crows, they're so smart. They're crazy smart.

Yeah. Crazy smart. We gotta harness that. Let's be friending them. I mean Edgar Allen Poe figured that out way back in the day. Crowbar. Ravens and crows, they're so fucking intelligent.

He had it, Edgar Allen the bro. Crowing machine. Edgar Allen bro. He starts fucking with this one cat, just get real close to him, just kinda pecking at him. him. Fuck up. What fuck is wrong with you, bitch? Oh, yes fucking with him. Just completely riling up pecking at look at this and just jumping just out of the way He knows how fast he is he knows how fast the cat is like not quick enough Bitch, I'll get that one and so he gets over

Wow before that though he went over to the other side and was fucking with that look at they fall off the roof and they go still at it still getting after it they don't stop when they fall 30 feet yeah they're still duking it out man just duking it out and then they go down those stairs look at that little hole look they're gonna fall down the hole BOOM still duking it out look at this they're going after it son. He's got a fight to the death I love jiu-jitsu to the back they lay on the back and kick up Grapple fuck out of each other my outdoor cat would come home and just deep scratches over his ears the ears are all tattered Yikes Look

It's a funny idea and if they get locked when they're having sex they get stuck exactly barb dick see dogs do that Wait dogs what dogs are the same? Just stuck with a hard dick so I think everyone I stand that's mostly I want to get out of here We're the only mammals I think that don't have a bone for the dick because otherwise we just use it constantly speak for yourself Water on them what you do it's like antlers yeah, how do they get unstuck they gotta go back to the right position You gotta wait. Oh my god. Wait till the dick goes soft. Yeah, yeah But it's just a bone. That's what's crazy. Is that right? Yeah, but you see dogs fucking on the side of the road It looks pleasant

That's pleasant Actually fucking I see the dog park all the time. It's so funny. Oh, at a dog park. The owners get like, hey, I'm so sorry. Yeah. And the dog's like, leave us alone. Right. We don't care. But you never see a dog like, woo! The owner's like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Yeah. Kind of calm. They just do it real quick and get out of there. Yeah, like a Mormon. The girl dogs aren't upset. I saw a video of these these Bulldogs fucking it made me actually kind of said Jamie Sad Bulldogs fucking what was sad about it. Just think you'll see it's a it's a tail is always time fucking Twisted just makes you feel the type of way

Baby There's a twist on this. There's a phone twist on this video. What happens? No, nothing that bad. It's just, you know. Ooh. Oh, baby. What went wrong with this bulldog? Nothing. It's just a guy- it's a guide dog trying to talk to a girl, and then another guy comes in, he's like, hey, what's up? And they run off. Oh.

And then the camera pans over and they're fucking again, and then goes back to the bulldog, they sit there and he's like... Oh, I've been there. God damn it. Yeah, we've all been there. That's the worst. but jmo is quicker Bulldogs fucking sad jamos lose. I was gonna nail that jamos losing. He's always a different algorithm than you Oh, we're talking about dogs stuck together, so I'm looking for a Together and I said it was a third dog that gets one velvet three way

Yeah, talking back you see a lady fuck a dog on the internet I did I saw a VHS tape when I, yeah. Talking back. You ever see a lady fuck a dog on the internet? I did. I saw one on a VHS tape when I was 18. Me too. Really does something. Best day of my life. It was a German Shepherd. This lady was fucking a German Shepherd.

It's always a goddamn German Shepherd. What is this? Always. I saw two guys getting in a fight, Jim Painter and Carboni. And they were watching a dog, we were all watching a dog fucking a chick. And Jim was like, she has nice tits. And Pete Carboni was like, what the fuck,

she's getting fucked by a dog. And he's like, that has nothing to do with the tits. The tits are nice. What does that have to do with it? I'm glad they had that argument. That's everybody's internal. You really got an argument about it? Yeah, about whether her tits were nice or not.

Sure. She's being fucked up about it. He needs to leave the room. No, I had that fight in my head when I saw it. Really? Yeah. Two sides of me were going, what the fuck are you watching? This is disgusting. That lady should be put down. And then the other side of me we're going what the fuck are you watching this is disgusting that lady should be

Put down and then The balls are a problem to a point with us the only thing that turns them on It's on a hard on but yeah Get crazy tough thing to be what you want someone who never says no want someone who wants it all the time You want oh you want to fuck? Okay, the idea was into it Have a religious degree dude trains is fucking sick Let me be the first to try them by at all to try them by a dollar. Wah!

Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. Alright, the Bulldog video is not good enough for us to take this time. I guess so. It's falling out of favor. I think Jamie's not looking enough because he's still worried about that money you owe him. Ohhhhh I thought you guys better than more money No, I saved you it's back leave it to the Dead is owed

That dead is oh, I definitely paid him the debt back. I flew him back from the game He brought confetti onto the fucking flight from the game he brought confetti onto the fucking flight. Oh yeah I was telling someone the other day about how when you were a struggling comic you would make a living going to those poker tournaments. It definitely wasn't comedy he wasn't paying. He was making a living playing poker. What was this a year ago? Yeah the drunk Mexicans on Fridays just steal money off them on payday.

They would just go all in with the jackdus Yeah, you didn't have to get so descriptive. You gotta know it was great. Yeah. Yeah, I remember you So like that was how you were making a living it was crazy I was like I don't think I've ever met anybody who like reasonably approached gambling like this is how I'm gonna like use this as a Job you're the first guy that I ever met they like use poker as like you played it Professionally like you were you were intelligent about it. It's the mathematicians my math wasn't great like these other guys are crazy They know the exact note, but mine compared to just a regular I was I was pretty good also I took all the money from the poor drunk Mexican a hundred percent you really are

Yeah, yeah 100%. You really are, Ju. Yeah, yeah. Bah. Texas. That wasn't even funny enough for the... But, uh. That was gonna get you in trouble.

Yeah, it's an equalizer. You play with the fuckin' owner of the Lakers, didn't know what was gonna become. And then, like, Jose Canseco was there. But you're all equal. Tournament. What? You're all buying for the same. And then I just started smoking weed.

Like, at the time, we really had, so I could, like, see through people when I was high. Ooh. Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you see something right? You just like Got it That's nice. Yeah, it was nice. What happens if you'd never won you got to pay the rent? Well, I play with the bank

Geez, so like whatever I had already won a little bit It's like you're just playing out of there And so when you when you like win big you see all these like guys kind of looking at you as you're going to cash In and you're just like, uh, can you keep this money here for me for next time like yeah, okay You over six blocks out Dollars on a fucking second place victory at fucking yeah, hustler casino or Hollywood Park That's a really that's a better idea than being good at poker Yeah, right get a gun just follow some zero one and go all right, right?

So glad over to gambling at times. It's a scary addiction. Yeah, fuck. I don't have it and it's I don't either It's fun to gamble on sports a little yeah But I don't have the I I don't chase it ever. For some people, it's like a thrill and there's nothing else in their life that gives them a thrill. Yeah. They got a job, the job sucks,

they got a family that they like, and they go out and they fuckin' risk it all. Yeah. Risk it all, they're fuckin' shakin' and they can't wait to do it again. We'd go out to spots and then we go like midnight one go down there And then if you played for like five hours, you're all right leave if you're seven like hits rush hour That means you gotta play for ten. You gotta miss rush hour to get back

You just be there forever And it's a 24 hour day deal. Oh, yeah, there's no windows no windows there It's just like it's like this different world of people to real degenerates Same as the pool hall people mm-hmm probably those are worse probably same humans Yeah, same human at least the pool hall people have some skill you get to know each other Yeah, like you know you're regular as you talk all the time It's just like we're all trying to steal money from each other yeah, so we're like enemies But like we're being friendly and that was pool all banter

There's all guys who were like trying to rob other guys like I can't play you even I need the eight ball They'd be sitting around talking forever. Everyone's got a gambling addiction. It's like who could hold out the longest Yeah, it's like two guys with a boner like we can't fuck Let's fuck no no no not yet And like hold off to try to get a better deal and you were in there you're That was it that was funny when we were in the car And we were talking about you playing pool all the time and you were he was just like I'm a psycho Yeah, we got to show

It's like something to do you know after a show yeah, something okay cool an hour or two seven Like Joe can we please get out of here? I have a problem really It's good problems. Yeah, it's not a problem like I smoke crack Yeah, I my problem is when I lock on something like time goes away. Yeah, you can catch heroin you can catch fishing Yeah, that's that's a better Pulls a good one cuz you can only do it physically for so long. Whereas video games, you can play video games 12 hours in a row.

That's true. That's no problem. All you're doing is sitting. Keeps you up. Yeah, drink Mountain Dew, it keeps you totally dialed in. Yeah. You got explosions going off in your area, gunning folks down.

Da da da da da da da da. You're running down hallways. Yeah, one more level, one more level. Yeah, and it's four hours past. Why am I going to bed? You got the headset on, and calling a guy a Mumbai hallways. Yeah, one more level, one more level. And then four hours pass. Why am I going to bed? Got the headset on and calling a guy Mumbai a fag. You need a job in the morning that you have to get up for. Otherwise you're still.

Or a girlfriend, or a girlfriend. Or a girlfriend helps. Yeah. That walks in, you're wearing a headphone. Are you fucking serious? It's four in the morning. Come to bed. I had a call duty problem was I had oversleep spots.

You go to sleep at like 4 p.m. Just like up, up, up, and then you're like, oh fuck, I missed my spot dirty problem was that I'd oversleep spots we go to sleep at like 4 p.m You know just like up up up and then you're like fuck. I miss my spot cuz I was sleeping A fucking helmet on you one day and are you prepared to engage? Oh, that's coming. Yes You're gonna be in the world like fully in the world Bombs going off you're running down a dirty street hoping that this is not real life, that if you die you're gonna respawn. Yeah. It's Westworld.

Bullets are flying by and breaking the bricks behind your head. All that shit's, yeah, Westworld. But Westworld, you could die. You could die, but the people didn't know that they were robots. They thought they were in the game. But they were like, well, who am I?

That's gonna happen man. We're all ones and zeros. We've been we've been in the AI for a long time You know hear that yeah, we've we're in the simulation. We're in the yeah, come on I'm kind of well, you may be ended hundreds of years ago, but they mined us for info. So this is just a reality Yes, I think we have a version of reality. It's not real The real reality is we're in a we're in a gigantic computer simulation Damn, I couldn't have gotten a bigger dick. Nope. Yeah, did you get? Yeah, what happened that sense of humor I make the average eight It is kind of crazy that they've come up with so many medications not one to grow a dick

Yeah, that's true. There's probably a bunch of guys that don't want it But you can't give them big dicks because if you give them big dicks if it's like only like a couple hundred bucks Yes, society will shut down Pussy so big down to freedom. Yeah flying squirrel pussy people Yeah, it's a weird thing. It's like, if you have, that's what a lot of people thought like the war on steroids was, like you're trying to stop people from getting just massive.

That's why China's so angry. Little dicks are pissing them off. Yeah. Dude, they're using CRISPR now. I bet they've got giant dicks. We just haven't seen it yet. What's CRISPR? What's CRISPR?

Genetic engineering. They're editing people's genes That's that's another one. Thank you to go like give my son a big dick. Let's see what let's give a big dick super brain They supposedly inoculated these kids from HIV they kept them from getting HIV but in the process made them more intelligent You're making them more intelligent We also made them way more intelligent like you're not supposed to do that So they put the guy in jail for a couple years now. He's back kicking ass. Yeah, he was like their top dude They're top genetic guy like yeah, you're gonna be in jail and in is it but you told me you get millions of dollars in hookers

Dicks sucked every day and you're eating roast beef You're a bad boy you did a good job good job Hear me out here. Maybe this is the the shrooms talking But uh, I think the dick size you have makes you who you are who you gotta overcome Yeah, tell that to that lady was beaten up on chicks in the Olympics. All right Aha, that was a tiny dick. That's a tiny dick move is to become great exactly to beat up women. Kevin Hart syndrome. Tiny dick.

Oh, how dare you. I can't beat up a man because I'll go, don't you have a small dick? And they're like, damn it, good point. And they leave to find a woman to beat up. Mm, boy. I'm telling you, you gotta work with what you got. You gotta, if you have the choice

through Chris, how big your son's dick's gonna be, you gotta give him a medium. Medium. Don't go crazy. You can't go crazy. Six and a half, seven. He'll dominate your house. Through crisper house big your son's dick's gonna be you gotta give him a medium medium. What do you choose? Dominate your house. Yeah Yeah, you created a monster Well having a son is probably a lot like having a wild dog where you have to like train them Get them exercising every day like wear them out get them calm Realize like hey fella. I know you're ready to go all the time

This is what we gotta do. We got to burn that out of you every day. So you'd be a good citizen, right? Okay, but if you're just fucking not paying attention then they'll shoot a school teenager It must be crazy. Yeah if you have a son you should have to get him to not shoot up or or rape until they understand why both of them are wrong. Has there been a jacked school shooter? Never. Of course not. They don't need it. Has there ever been one that's not on medication? Not one. Although every school shooter looks like Michael Moore. Thomas Matthew Crooks had a huge hog. Who's that? The guy who shot Trump. Did he? Huge hog!

The kid? I can see it. Every one of those guys. The 20 year old kid? Yeah! How do you know he had a huge hog? Oh, it's all over the 4chan. I sucked him off. On the roof.

That's why he couldn't get away. Hey, I had to do my part as an American. I'm an old hog. He didn't miss my mouth. I thought you wanted to come in my mouth. I will say, he didn't miss my mouth. I was like, I didn't miss my mouth. He was like, those two hands were locked on. I was like, don't get away.

The school shooters do have giant dick builds though. Yeah, skinny. I mean, they're all tall, skinny weird guys. Yeah, yeah. Alien bodies. Exactly. Bro, there was this guy who was a professor of mathematics at MIT. I did taekwondo with him.

I don't want to say his name, but if I tell you his name, it's even more hilarious. And this guy had a donkey dick Everybody everybody would like change in the locker room and we change we like what the fuck Like this really kind of uncoordinated like crazy hair. He had the ju-fro the whole deal He had a dick that was like a solid limp nine inches What it was a giant dick with giant balls And everybody would see it and be like what the fuck and his wife never left his side She does like she was protecting that diamond share that diamond dick everywhere. She went

It was really like a dog with a bone. She was always there at every training session Travel with him to tournaments. She wasn't going nowhere the dick ever hit you on the mat you're like Travel with him to tournaments. She wasn't going nowhere. Did the dick ever hit you on the mat? You're like Jesus No, I was tight. No, you gotta wear a cup. You're wearing a cup. It's all tucked away We call it out at the locker room. Could you know Jesus Harry? No, it's the one thing you didn't talk about your cups or Jiu-Jitsu Yes, I do Some guys don't some guys don't but you get I got a need the balls too many times It is funny it's very funny when you see one of your buddies has a huge dick It's weird change the dynamic and people with huge dicks don't like talking about it

Yeah, make fun of a guy for having a big dick big dick embarrassment. That's crazy like you with your shoulders Yeah, the huge dong is a game changer it's like when you see your friend playing the piano you're like You know a word skilled to have piano yeah when someone sits down all something can play you never told me yeah It's funny friend who has a skill Hinchcliffe can play piano come on and Joe fucking checks out and just He sits down and just start playing piano like this come from plays a skin flute Trombone the old rusty trombone Extracurricular skills off stand-up is interesting Bobby Lee can dance well and skate no

Mm-hmm Wow, I bet he plays a fuck out of some video games. Yeah No, mm-hmm Wow, I bet he plays a fuck out of some video games. Yeah Yes, certain guys Andy Haynes can shred on on skis right yeah, there's certain guys. They're just like what's this other thing right? Oh Connor was D1 lacrosse Penn State Drexel nice you think a Duke Professional tennis player, huh? Really good 1212 hundredth of the world. Oh, yeah sound good It's pretty good being like a karate guy

Pictures what no? Yes, like it was like right when he started doing crack. Oh Jeff Ross. No boss Oh, Jeff Ross is a black belt in taekwondo It's like these people that can like do something like what It's also a photo of him throwing a kick with it. He's got a Jerry Crowe. That's just got addicted to Jerry Crowe just got addicted to fucking crack No, it's fucking it's good. Let me see his form I don't have you find the city about kicking that guy some guy some young cop He's trying to like get in with him and make be cool And he's making fun of his kid just too familiar Jason canner

He just kicked them. Boss kicked them. Broke his ribs. Yeah Boss fucking rules. Broke his ribs. He was like actually nah, Jason. Nah. Just broke a rib. Oh yeah. Jesus Christ His drugs. Broke his ribs. Horse kicked him like that. Really? Yeah at the Caroline's Christmas party. Fucking front kick the middle of Christmas party. Oh my god. Front kick. What the fuck? I think I heard Jason was like no I was out of line he was What year was 2009 wow that's a risky time It's good time to be front-kicking people the internet existed You can front-kick people in the 80s Yeah

Window is wild well I knew anything what's that broccoli threw a guy through a window at a bar what Charles But there's no video he could just do it Through a guy through a window is dangerous bro. That's how people die. I love your neck Yeah, class. Oh, the way you guys talking shit to fucking Charles Barkley Yeah, giant super But I rebound like six nine, so he's a funny guy I fucking punches you oh my god you punch by an NBA player if you're gonna bother me I'm gonna whip your ass. They just Bucky threw a man through a glass window Wow that imagine like you just some dummy you just think you could just talk shit to a guy forever and then this

300-pound giant man just You're a cushion on a couch it just chucks you it's like the guy on the flight who try to fuck with Tyson Yeah, well, that's wonderful. Yeah There's dudes out just us sitting back and watching Chuck there on the flight who tried to fuck with Tyson. Tyson, yeah. Well that's wonderful. Yeah. Justice. Sitting back and watching Chuck, or Charles Barkley become like the coolest guy of all time. So funny. That guy's sitting there like,

I bothered him once at a bar and he threw me through a window. I hated him my whole life and then you watch him on TV and you're like, fuck, he's the coolest guy. He's so cool, funny. He's literally the coolest guy. Yeah. I love when he was gonna do the play-by-play

or color, whatever, for... Easy. L.I.V. For golf, yeah. I had a colored comment. Woo! For a live golf, and they were like, well that's evil, he goes, where did you get your money from?

Don't you all do like iPhone ads? That's easy on the judgment. That's an interesting Charles Barkley. That was an interesting, hey, where'd you get your money from? Hey! Yeah! I'm gonna call him alone. judgment Wasn't the best impression Kimmel is the best yeah He said the guy says you're not gonna do shit You're nothing but a big-ass pussy the taunt set Barclay off

William reached for his radio to call for backup. Oh the cops according to the police report Oh my god as he released his grip he felt Lugo escape except the 20 year old hadn't gotten away I felt victim from being pulled. I felt the victim being pulled from my grasp Williams wrote the account of the incident I looked up and I saw Barclay holding the victim up in the air by his arms Wow oh God what did he say to perceive that? He says do you know who the fuck I am? in the air by his arms Wow Oh God what did he say to perceive that long him like he was it says do you know who the fuck I am do you know who the fuck I am in a

matter of seconds Charles Chuck Lugo through the plate glass window oh my god even if he don't know who he is long him like boy flung him like he was a toy right before this to hear the cops told him not to go up to music I'm just gonna talk to him I don't want to I won't hurt him Charles assured the officer I just want to talk to him. Oh my god I just want to say and the child the office like okay You can just talk to him with an arms reach the guy says you're not gonna do shit. You know the but a big-ass pussy There's people like that out there in the world so funny you're like you're rich like I wasn't raised rich

You guys seen the video of Joe Schilling knocking that guy out in the bar. No My god, so this is asshole at a bar. He's being rude and apparently he was being rude all night and Joe Schilling who's a multiple-time world champion kickboxer walks by this guy and the guy like tries to like make him flinch Yes, and Joe just goes Watch this so there's this guy, you know drinking have it a good time being an asshole talk about beating somebody in arm wrestling or whatever and Joe just is behind him. He just touches him. You know nothing. He says something to him. He turns her out. Oh That was quick. Yeah, well, he's a world champion kickboxer. You can't flinch on

His he was walking he delayed himself four seconds Or I think it's four. I mean he knew the guy was out Like look okay here one just he just passes by and he calls him back Step forward with the chin up in the air. It was like, you can't do that to a guy like that. He comes at him with like, you want them? Okay. Yeah. Like what?

That's scary, cause that could happen to anybody. You have a couple of minutes to worry. Yeah. He had to go to court for that, and he won. Really? Cause it's Florida. It's Florida, it's like, stand your ground. Florida does rule.

They have some good rules. I love Florida. What was that medicine they give you during COVID. I forgot the name of I ever make no no no no no No, the treatment monoclonal antibodies that yeah, that's what I was trying to remember Yeah, they they banned that a lot of places they stop people from getting that I had a whole pot I got it. Yeah, you got it. I got it to a lot of people when I was down there You're like, oh thank God you're in Florida. Okay, cool, do this. There's places they wouldn't give it to. They restricted it. Florida was pretty good during the pandemic.

They were a good place to go. Did a lot of comedy there. That's where I caught COVID. That's where I got it, too. That's where I was. That's where I got AIDS. Yeah. Thank God you got rid of that.

Yeah. A lot of your people down there. Jews? Olds. Oh, yeah. They don your people down there. Jews? Olds. Oh yeah, they don't come to shows. They like to relax, go to Miami and relax. That's true. A place built on cocaine, imagine.

Cocaine, Jews, trannies. And Hulk Hogan, Carole Baskin, Scientology. Rented Lamborghinis. Yeah. Oh yeah. A lot of rented Lamborghinis. A lot of people in front. Before we got to the store, somebody pulled up in a limousine

I was a door guy and I was like, who's this and the managers already been jaded. He goes somebody with $50 Already jaded They jaded guy when I got there Harris Pete was the most jaded guy of all time Maybe of all time of all time He had been through all the errors and he was like you you gotta impress the shit out of Harris Pete. Made a deal with, the rumor was Leno and Letterman said, hey, all three of us, whoever makes it will take care of the other ones. Really? Does that sound like a deal you would make? Sounds like a deal you'd make one night while you're drinking. Not a real deal.

We're all in this together. Yeah, exactly. The guy who kinda sucks? The guy who kinda sucks. One of us is gonna make it. You'd bring us, would ya? What is the guy who kind of sucks? One of us is gonna make it It's shane gillis dave chapelle We were in this together like hey hey hey you promise

You get away I said get me a beer. Yeah, it's not even founded Relax we did the did the bossing comedy fest and we're all in the finals and we were like, all right Get me a beer. Yeah, it's not like we founded Twitter together. Relax. Relax. We did the Boston Comedy Fest, and we were all in the finals, and we were like, all right, whoever wins, because the pot was 10 grand, which was enormous at that level. And we were like, whoever wins,

we'll split it up this way, that way. You get first, second. You do a saver. One guy was off in the shadows, we're like, he's not gonna make it, this guy sucks, he's no good. That guy's definitely gonna win. He won!

He gave the whole thing to Boston Strong, we all hated him. What's Boston Strong? The marathon. After the guy got... It was that year. What a fucking great job. What an asshole. What a piece of shit.

What a piece of shit. Did he ever make it as a comic? Yeah, he's hilarious. He's a really funny guy, but at the time we're like, this guy's going nowhere, and then he won. Yeah, anytime I've done a comedy competition, guy who's sitting by himself and quiet you go fuck Drinking this little Indian kid these things called the Boston comedy riot. It was like the biggest comedy competition Yeah, the WBCN radio would host it. It was the Boston Comedy Riot. It was like in the 1980s.

WBC. Yeah. The Boston and the Seattle competitions were the big ones. Oh, the Seattle one was a big one. They never did either one of them, but it was like weeks long, so you had to either keep going up there or be there. Yeah, that Seattle was like, that was hell.

You're poor. So you have to be a guy with no life. Yes. Poor Seattle resident. Yeah, poor Seattle resident. Willing to hang in there for the long haul, for the golden prize of being the winner of the Seattle competition.

You ever do any competitions? I think I lost one to Sam. Yeah, I did a bunch at the beginning. Which Sam? Atlanta, Murill. I think he ended up winning. I think we were both in the final. Oh, the laughing skull.

He did win that. Did they just kick them out? Did the laughing skull, did the Vortex just kick out the laughing skull what happened I don't know I think the vortex said like you guys gotta go the owners gotta go What is that about you know why that was a great little room Seats Great little room fun room someone's got a film the special there's no space for cameras

But someone still had I think someone filmed something there I think I've seen stuff from there. Yeah, it was a great comedy. What happened? What happened? There was this headline I kind of passed by for a second you ever do those and then go and you're like, oh actually read that one You think you're just getting overwhelmed by headlines, that's the problem. That's true. Yeah, so much Oh, that's important, but maybe not as important as the next one I'm gonna scroll down a little but it all goes into your brain mm-hmm, and you know the headlines are all lies They're all laid by some other not the writer yeah, okay. I guess it's that isn't that weird Yeah

If you write a really good article someone could like fuck it up with like some misleading shit in the headline Laughing skull Lounge founder will leave the vortex after 16 years said After two decades they're splitting up There'd be no there'd be no laughing skull or just the guys out. I think Still be open in the vortex, but not as we know it today The founder and team will be exploring other comedy avenues in the city. So they'll do another laughing skull somewhere else. Oh, there you go.

No, no, no. Nobody cares about the name. Wow, that room. It's the venue. Well, they know how to do it though. They'll probably find one that's like it. Nah, the rooms are important. Size of rooms, size of polo.

I know, it is important. You can't just reproduce it somewhere. But you might be able to find a similar size room. I mean, yeah. Good luck starting a new room. Atlanta's got a lot of, but it might be able to find a similar size room. I mean yeah But it's not starting a new room. They have a giant email list why so pessimistic no because The actual rule the old San versus new standard different right the La Jolla comedy service the regular covers are the comedy store versus the main room Those are different rooms Elliot you know yeah Yeah, it's like so it's like you can reproduce that. Right, but you can make, look, look, we did it.

You ran it well, that part will be reproduced. The little boy in the mothership. Those are different. Yeah, but we made that, that's a new room, and it's a tiny little room just like that. It's the same kind of thing. It's like, you can, you just know how to do it right. You can be recreated. And the location is big. Like what kind of people are in that area already versus like. Sure, sure. Yep, yep. It's funny how a room has a feel. Like the O.R. in the store has such a weird feel. Yeah, it's a specific. Smoke is built into the walls, evil's built into the walls.

It's also like there's something good about the, I used to think it was bad, but there's something good about the commotion in the hallway in the back. The good about it is it's chaos. Chaos bad But there's something good about the commotion in the hallway in the back The good about it is it's chaos chaos shows chaos that room is a chaos room Diaz used to have the most chaos in that room like Diaz would crush in the main room But there's something about Diaz when you go on stage in the fucking OR like late at night when no one cared just doesn't matter It just doesn't matter and then he would go crush yeah he would go crush it you go crush it really

only a few people know what that means when I did it you sick fuck oh he came back with the bong just plastic just plastic made in America. Hold on I go Thank God you're leaving the piss Yeah, we're trying to keep him from you We had a triple wash this fucking pitcher cuz Norman pissed in it once To the point where when it's like Protect Our Parks Day I'm like... Oh yeah. It's like a marathon. But America needs it. Yeah! The boys need it. They do. They tell me all the time. I see them out in the streets.

I said, when? When? When's Protect Our Parks Day? They say it all the time. All the time. That's the first... When I do those Q&As after shows sometimes. Me too! Like number one question. When's the next one? When's the next one's the next protect our part They take a year off your life, so you gotta spread them out a little bit. You know it's like Barry what's that? What's that the Tough Mudder right right can't do them every weekend that one photo from the one where I had like 25 or 26 beers Everyone's want to see the photo

Yeah, but that is what people genuinely need they need Bros like yes having a good time as bros like with yes No restrictions because they're doing it they want to if they can't they wish they could yeah want to Everybody wants to I grew up doing this shit every man wants to have fun I was really hoping I'd stop doing this at some point Since my first party in the woods Every man wants to have fun. I was really hoping I'd stop doing this at some point. No, never. Never. Since my first party in the woods in high school was, I was just like, well, I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life.

At least now you're monetizing it, kinda. Yeah. Like you made it a living. Yeah. Listen, this is the best life. This is the best life for guys. Oh, 100%. We're the luckiest fucking people that have ever lived.

Like you had Jimmy Carr on, and he was talking like, he's like, I'm doing This today, then I'm going to Chappelle's thing that I'm doing kill Tony I'm doing the mothership that I'm doing an arena and fucking Scandinavia. It's best life What a life the best life Jimmy Carr was fucking hilarious Yeah, he came out of club with this new shit. He's working on. I just had a bunch of Oh my god, he was so good. He's a baby So it was so fun to watch is like when you watch a guy's like hat like just just fucking dialed in yeah Yeah, I'll tell a story about what's the name fucking with him too about me. Oh, yeah Yeah, so funny because I remember a draw though Greg Giraldo told him that Ari had cancer

And then and then Greg Giraldo goes and dies and Jimmy Carr is living with this and then he sees Ari's like could you look good you look good he's like what the fuck is going on half your face shaved no no this was like crazy like so you're. I'm like what fuck is going on But you're just weird looking enough where you're like yeah He does look he also said like when he told me that they said you had cancer. I'm like what he goes Yeah, they said your cancer. That's why you're like that cuz you don't care anymore So crazy spike your drink

I had cancer, the guy's dying. This is 15 years ago, it was so crazy. Let him spike your drink, he's dying. That's so funny, that's so funny. That's a nice fucking backup to have. I wish people thought that. Yeah. Like, hey, he took a shit on stage, you go, oh, he's getting cancer.

It's funny that- That's why he's bloody, right? It's bloody shit. Geraldo said that to him and never told him any different. He must just be passing through the room, saw him watching any standup and goes, oh, that guy's got cancer I think I got a beer

I got what the Harvard law the comic like a long burn of a joke just waiting one day years later This joke will pay off. That's amazing, and I won't even be there I Drawed and I we shared a parking lot in when we were both on TV together at the very first times We were both on TV when I was on news radio, and he was on his own show He had his own show that was on the same lot hmm I hang out with him at the lot all day like a like a show about him being a lawyer Yes, like a sitcom because he was a lawyer so yeah this off your life Yeah, what was your job right before this yeah? Yeah, make a sitcom. Because he was a lawyer so he could get this off your life. That's what they always do. What was your job right before this? Let's make a show.

Yep. Yeah, we're doing a garage. New one from New York so we'd hang out. That's why he got tires. That's why it works though, right? That's why it's so funny. Oh, by the way, when's the new season? Oh, June 5th. Right now. Today. Go check it out on Netflix. If you're listening to this, it's available right now Yeah, I get out of Netflix calm to drop ship you a fucking CD watch it Check your mailbox check your mailbox right now Said your first season it's gonna skip a little And why you there you can watch our ship here special Yeah, sit on there. That's right. But yeah tires. Yeah

You've managed to rain in trash Kyla in a way. It's unrainable Well, everybody in the show plays literally themselves. So Kyla was Kyla was pretty easy I mean, I mean she was my employee for a long time This season right Ron White is yeah. Oh fun What was the line you had before it was it was how to talk trash was like I spelled a coffee colada on my scratch Yeah, Ron fucking kills it or he brought his own outfit in Ron plays himself

Bowski there, that's all you'd want him to play. Yeah, why plays around he plays a washed-up NASCAR driver? He's there for like a sign like a meet-and-greet that no one shows up to Yeah, we had a Woody Harrelson at the club last night Man he's been there a lot. I missed him every place He was a sweet dude to hang out with. Yeah, he's the fucking man. He doesn't have a phone though. He doesn't do emails.

So if you wanna get a hold of him, you gotta go through his wife. You gotta run into him. Like he's smart. He's protecting himself from bullshit. The bullshit in the world. It's like, I don't wanna be a part of this. Yeah.

I don't wanna have a phone. I got no social media. I got no nothing. I'm just a human like I always was. I was a human before this, I'm staying a human. It's really nice when you don't have a phone. He's ear to ear, he's walking on thin air. Is that it?

You don't want all that fucking input, man. It's not good for you. It's also nothing ever happens. Nothing ever, it's just like scrolling, scrolling. It's like fucking India, Pakistan, Russia, three. Right. For us. Man, I know, we've got the Epstein file. India, Pakistan, Russia, three. Right. For us. No, no, no, we've got the Epstein file.

Right, you're like, this is it. This is it. Why am I gonna be aware of this? Yeah. I do, I mean, I guess all of us remember before it, right? You're the youngest. Yeah. But still, it's like, those were good times.

Great times. And so it's like, I get we have better stuff now, but like parts of before were okay. And not only were they great times. When you pull those in. I not only were they great times, I'm so glad they weren't filmed. Can you imagine if he had all that shit on film from taking a dump in your mouth?

Throwing it up in the street, and you gotta worry about somebody's filming you? Yes! Just the pure anxiety people are living with today. People are living with like pure anxiety. Like in a level, just anxiety on your phone all day long. Yeah, given you anxiety you can't Suicide they wake up to fucking 20 texts yeah, like what's up from all these different people you got a fucking you got a mic

Oh, yeah, right even that part that's not stress, but it's like and it's like I just woke up So I look at my phone right away. Yeah, I'm sending the dumbest replies Yeah, haha, yeah, I like wake up. I look at my phone right away. Yeah, I'm sending the dumbest replies. Yeah Yeah, I don't know how to explain what I'm trying to say no I get it I get it Yeah, it's 80 people coming at you to do it's fun thing a show or something nice and it's like it's too much now I supposed to run into you and say yes, I can do that. Yeah. Yeah, I Need an answer now. It's just constant. It's gonna get I got all my all my buddies are in town all the filly All the filly trash is here Yeah, tonight's gonna get nuts tonight is gonna get nuts, and I was really hoping to avoid that yeah, what is the plan?

No, I mean this tonight When this airs tonight, but it'll but it'll tell me safe in that green room we're gonna be locked in, it's gonna be a disaster we were talking about yesterday where it's like what's the plan usually like okay so we get way too fucked up then we go shove meat in our mouth. And then immediately we have to go, you're on in five. Like, okay. I go, run to the store, get up. Or with the mothership and then get up and then be like.

All you gotta do is drunk. Puking the hallway, it'll get it all out. You'll be good to go. It's funny, because I call the store all the time. Oh, by all right? I even called the main room. That means you did it right. Yeah, I don't even.

The main room and the, yeah. And the OR or the, yeah. It's kind of like. It's either OR or belly. It's kind of a hybrid between the OR and the belly room. Because the main room is also the, the OR is the main room. But the OR. In LA.

The main room at the club at the mothership is like, if the main room and the OR had a baby. Yeah. And then the other one is like, if the OR and the belly room had a baby. Yeah, I'm always like, you're going to the store tonight. Yeah. I mean, you built it with that in mind. Baby yeah, and then the other one is like if the or in the belly room had a baby hmm Yeah, I'm always like you're in the store tonight. Yeah, well you built it with that in mind. Yeah, Adam. He gets there I mean literally named the bar after Mitzi sure fucking He's the best

Homosexual of all time he's not gay anymore Holocaust and I anymore Ain't even a dick No, it's not no no no no Devils tricking you into believing my delicious penis, but for a moment he believed it the way We're all like I'm not gonna do this one evil thing anymore Quit drinking for a week or quit weed for a week and then not made it that night? Alright, so last week. Last week, I was like, alright, I gotta take a week off. Fucking giant storm comes through Texas. My power's out for three days. Wow.

Day three, I'm sitting in a hot house going... The only place I can go right now is a bar. Actually, I went right... Kelly's? Yeah, they gave me this shirt. They gave me this on Thursday. There you go. Right now is a bar actually Here it's an Austin yes Place was actually really great the owners. They're all Irish Have exported the bar the the proper bar, the best way. The Irish bar is the same in every country in the world. Yeah, it's the best. They figured out the best place.

Yeah, is there an Irish pub in town? People always ask that. And it is the same. Well, they're not blaring techno and all this shit. Right, yeah, it's dark and you drink. Yes, like you should. A couple old Guinness signs. It's like Ireland. Do they play music at the Irish pub Yeah, I think they actually have Irish music like a live band. Oh, I think it's actually pretty sick Yeah, I was just the owner was the owner was the fucking man. He gave me a bunch of uh yeah, whatever That's one of the good things about

You give me some fucking like IRA stuff I don't want to I don't know if it's in trouble for somebody gave me some fucking like IRA stuff Nazi money I have a wall for my you be tripping fuck ass I put like money up there from different countries somebody's like Nazi money like yeah, why it for sure? I was thinking about buying a fucking Adolf Hitler autograph And I don't know what's that Kanye Can buy goodbye they're really Yeah, but you can buy. You can buy them. They're really expensive, but you can buy an Adolf Hitler autograph, a signature. Yeah.

I mean, it's got to be worth a ton of money. Yeah, I know. And then I figure maybe when I'm, if I have grandkids or something, I go, this is going to be worth a billion dollars. The most evil man. Maybe someday it'll be like Genghis Khan's autograph. Exactly.

Of course. It won't be forbidden anymore. Of course. After like 1,000 years. You're not revering him. You're just like, autograph. Exactly. Of course. It won't be forbidden anymore. Of course. After like a thousand years. You're not revering him. You're just like, he was notable. I know, that's the thing. He's the most famous guy ever.

There's somebody who's like, I was reading Mein Kampf just to read it, but she was reading it on the bus, so she had to go. Well, you can read on the bus. So people didn't think she was a great bus. Ah! So she had to go on the whole time.

Yeah, but you can get in trouble just having that. You gotta get a book cover on that thing. Few outstanding, very original document letter signed autograph by Adolf $7800 7700 Not just on a piece of paper, this is like is a Nazi military officer charged by Hitler It's not a dollar Hitler. No, I couldn't was that's right. It's not it off No, Eichmann was that's right. It's not enough. Oh Can't believe you just buy Nazi stuff you can

Listen thrift stores to it's not I've seen him. Oh look at that original. Look at that the arm sleeve Officers sleeve eagle. Hell. Yeah from a guy's fucking uniform That guy killed your grandpa you see how you start going oh no it's history 480 bucks that's crazy I have a new version of that oh no the Chinese the Chinese made new money to give it up for the workers during kovat and it's all these scientists on there on their bills they made a whole new bill really interesting interesting I swear to God these are the people that caused the pandemic. I don't see I brought this up. Yeah, people get upset. He's a polarizing figure, but I don't of course

I know but I'm not like Hitler's the man the man yeah you're really gassed because someone just edited that part yeah no but it's like he's the worst of course edit this part he's the biggest faggot that's ever lived sure actually Mao is worse wait that's so funny I mean it's a it's a whatever bit but like calling Hitler a faggot will get you in trouble for the wrong reason but he's like top five all the time. Top five. Biggest fucking turds on earth. He's the Michael Jordan of faggots. Cranked out of his mind the entire time.

Like a poster boy for don't do drugs. It was actually Eichmann was drove it more. Cause Hitler was like whatever you need, Eichmann was the one that's what I think I remember is him going we need an other, he was a smarter one about it cause we need some other. And he goes, let's do the Jews they stay to themselves, but he was like well anyone will do really he was that he was the like the the writer of all of it and

Adolf was like that'll help us get like Chaney to George W We found out dick Chaney still alive the other day. Yeah. Really? That's interesting. I thought he was, I thought it's like a Berenstain Bears Mandela effect thing. I thought he was dead.

No, he endorsed Kamala Harris and they bragged about it. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right. Dave Smith pointed it out. Yeah, yeah, someone with visual. George Washington. It might be real, it says. Bro, 240 grand, you got this, Shane.

What is that, his flask? George Washington's powder flask. Powder. Yeah, Cora Pawn Stars. It says bro 240 grand you got this Shane. What is that his flash? Jen Washington that might be real see what I mean you can have that at your house. That's pretty dope But but that's the founding father same same, but different. Well, you should be slaves drinking beers Don't tell anybody they won't Google it Fucking slaves did you get any is the Napoleon hat was that you send me that Jamie? Napoleon's hat is up for auction. Yeah. Hell yeah, how do you know if it's really his hat though? We would know if it's his or just read created like that. I wouldn't even know hats. If somebody sold my hats, you can sell my hat. Yeah, but you wouldn't know. You wouldn't know if it's his or just recreated like that.

I wouldn't even know if you sold one of my hats. I remember an old, old pod we were doing at your place, at your house, that's how old it was. And it was like, we're talking about art from like the whatever era, and you're like, well this one's hella old. They're like, how do you know? And it was like, oh yeah, I guess,

yeah, you have no idea. I don't really know. Just painting. Somebody told me it's old. Right. Yeah. There's a lot of lies out there. a lot of fake paints a lot of fucking a lot of dudes I mean it looks good I think it's pretty expensive It's sold one auction one auction went for what two million one two point one

I think it said what how much is judges 63rd? Christ who wants that 20 of them imagine You got so much money spent two million on a hat you want to jack off for the Napoleon I do Full-length mirror flexing yeah Did we talk about what Hillary did in Napoleon did we talk about this already? When Napoleon's tomb everyone had a bow that had Did we talk about this already? We're Napoleon's tomb. Everyone had to bow their heads again. Napoleon was in 1800s. And Hitler built a series of mirrors so he wouldn't have to bow so he could look at it without bowing down.

That's wild. It was before I go in. Yeah. Change all the mirrors so he could just go, you didn't get me Napoleon. But he loved him. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. Every once in a while you hear a Hitler story where you go, God damn that was pretty sick. Shit on my chest, a good heart. Love it. I feel that way about a lot of them. that was pretty shit on my chest to get hard They told us and I could see them that's being propaganda for that sounds very he was pretty stupid. That's very meth-y Yeah, it might have been an accidental shit on meth he did some math as soon as you hear about a guy doing math you like oh

Everything goes from that yeah Book I read about him he was by the end He was just sitting by his fire, and you just had to listen to him tell stories And he would be on meth and he'd be screaming Screaming about was like I'm the greatest architect that's ever lived. I shouldn't even be doing this war Oh my god. I didn't even want to do it, but fucking Churchill made Everybody thinks he thought he was a great artist. He thought he was the greatest architect. Oh my god. This is Elvis with karate Yeah, that's right. Elvis Carrotti shirt, oh my God. That's where that idea came from.

Good shirt too. Shout out to Roots of Fight. Yeah, Elvis get peeled up and they pretend that he was good at karate. And dudes are just like, I can't believe you're doing this to me. They would try to move him and he'd like, put his neck out there and stop them from moving.

That's kinda nice. It's kinda nice. Christ, that's a dope man. His liver was redlining all day long. It's, baah! Just be like, on the grid, I'm the best fighter ever, man. We went to Graceland. That's right.

We were there at the same time. We went to the Graceland tour. The racquetball court where he died. He had multiple TVs so he could watch every channel in existence all at once. So we had four TVs. Come on, man. That was big back then.

Four TVs is crazy. I thought it was on a turlet. He played outside his racquetball court. He was playing racquetball court. Yeah, that's my I'm gonna take a shit Got the vaccine immediately have a heart attack he's Heather McDonald Yeah, he was playing he couldn't sleep so he started playing racquetball and he called a guy like at 3 a.m. I gotta come down here And he was like I gotta take a dump and there it was

first super famous guy You think what about Hitler? Yeah different kind of? Love star Well start in the 60s 50s start in the yeah start in the 50s went into the 70s. Yeah, there's nobody he died in like 1976 I wanna say 78 maybe he was already past the huge then Yeah, but like not he was still huge though He could still big and he got real fat and crazy and just was just drugged out of his mind

You ever see the video of him singing from Vegas yeah I'm still on chain melody is amazing still amazing bloated dying Still his entry I got something good. He got his ready his entrance on someplace where it's like He just like walks with just he just just walks here the mics there walks this It's like this, you know, he's just going back and forth like know take it and then immediately goes and starts. Yeah. Oh my god fucking interest. What a fucking entrance my whole life I hated Elvis. I thought he sucked and then I watched him bro. Young Elvis. I just oh, I guess whoever liked Elvis I thought you probably

Watched it too obvious, but it's really good. It's like AC DC DC bitch Listen the long way to the top listen to that fucking song. It's a long way You don't like that song you don't like America Like freedom you don't like hard work shut the fuck up. It's just it's too easy Elvis was too easy, but that unchained melody bro. he was so good. He was so good. Look at him. Look how big he was. Come on man. Damn. Panet. And he wasn't that old. Yeah, what is he there, 40? What do we call him that? He looks better than me. Well, compared to

how hot he was, he was like a hot guy. Oh, he was so hot when he was young. He was like the first black, white guy. Is that the general? Yeah. You know, he was like oh he was so hot when he was young He was like the the first black white guy is that the general yes You know he was like the first wigger is that the general right there show me the right keys No, no, it's a different guy different handle it. No. I think that's one of his musicians, so I heard Dolly talking about him Oh, he's crank. I just recorded it in it. I don't know. I don't know. Is it out? About two weeks.

Two weeks to be out. He's not been no different than Winehouse late. Wow. You're thinking, how's this guy going to do this? You're thinking, he's out of his mind. He's in another dimension right now. Is he on uppers or downers? You can hear how quiet the room is.

They're going, god damn. Downers for sure down here quiet the room is they're going god damn Is like O'Connor before he goes on drunk? Yeah, he'll be fine. They'll figure it out Cranked out of his mind listen how good this is Wow Wow I can't get a mic stand Wow! I can't get a mic stand? Good point. Time goes by so slowly And time can do so much for you Still my heart is still beating It was a Shitting

Made that exact joke about O'Connor like he was like the only way you can fuck this special up is if you like blackout Before the show and then even then it'd be like fat Elvis on Jane I'm like, crash it, go in the green room, I'm like... Get on stage, just crash it. Do it. Oh, my love. God damn. God damn, that was good. I mean, if you heard that guy talking before the... If you were in the audience, like, oh no, we came to the wrong night. You see they're going, is this song out yet?

They go, two weeks, guys. It's just pure talent that'll overcome the obstacles. Look how sweaty he is, dude. Give me some more of this, Jamie. Look how sweaty he is, dude. Give me some more of this, Jamie. He's launching this song right now? Yeah. He's showing it to them. He's like, I know you're about to hear an all-timer.

They haven't even heard it yet. God damn. For me, my love My darling, I've come before you Alone, lonely time Time goes by I'm so bloody stressed. Woo! I'm still alive Still hits Need your love God damn

You guys are allegedly on mushrooms That must have been fucking nice Oh man Oh my god, that's so good That is one fat talent That's what we live for We live for those Like if you could belt out one of them moments in your life, you did it.

Yeah. One of those moments, I mean this guy had a ton of them. But one of those moments. And nobody had ever gotten that famous before. Nobody had ever, like nobody gets that famous ever and doesn't go crazy. But nobody had ever gotten that famous before Elvis. He was the first.

It's also, you go to his house, it's not that it's not that big alright your house is probably the same size as Elvis no it's pretty nice house is bigger come on my who oh really okay which house I'll just say you see like little bow wow I know he's got a suburban house Devon it's just a house in the burbs Yeah, oh, you don't need a big house if I was by myself. I'd have a regular house. Yeah, you would Yeah, I know you don't need it's all nonsense. It's just where you live. That's the first thing I figured out when I came to Hollywood. I was 27 years old as the first time I ever had a nice apartment in my lab. I had a loft. I had a fucking pool table

I was like this is sick, and then I got and then I'm like oh this is just where I live. I felt like oh Mike that's another trick you got to be aware of. Like this idea of always getting a bigger better you never appreciate it. It's always just where you live. This is all you need a place that's safe that has a TV. You have a kitchen, you have a TV. No playground next to you to wake you up. Yeah you don't want anything crazy loud. You don't want to be near a train station. I'm thinking about buying a house, and I'm like, I'm literally just gonna hang out

in two rooms. Yeah. I'm gonna walk from my bed to the fucking couch. The only time it changes is if you have a family. You have a family, then you want a yard, then you want a pool, then you want a lot of things. You want a lot of things. You want to have a, night, uh.

Or if you want a dog. Yeah, you want to have a room to be like, ah, I don't know where to put this. I'll just shove it in there. I always had dogs. My garage is fucked. Oh, wow. I've always had dogs, so I always have a big yard. I be like, I don't know where to put this. I'll just shove it in that storage. I always had dogs. My garage is fucked. I've always had dogs, so I always have a big yard. I'm like, that's the thing.

Can't have a dog. That's why, the only reason why I never bought Cresthill. The house above the store. New York. The Missy house. You thought about buying it? Yes, I went to look at it. Because it was like, Sam Kinnison used to live there.

I'm like, this would be crazy to own this fucking house. But I had a crazy dog, and that yard was too little. I was like, he'll find a way out. Sam Kirsten pissed on Mark Maron's bed up there. Nice. Whoa. What the fuck? Imagine if that was on YouTube. I have 100 million views.

All over his bed, just standing up. Wow, that's a credit. That's Mark and his territory. That's what your cat does. That's why you gotta give him spade. Easy. Spade new to your pets. I'm Bob Barker. Wow, what a weird thing he had It's important to have a trans dog, how about just don't let your dog fuck random dogs Especially in your name's Bob Barker

What a freak what was his real name in this room that's a solid joke right now it's good three people laughing that's a solid food audience of three Jamie were you laughing at that? No. Jamie's so good at that. Jamie's out to work. Jamie's pissed about that. Did you see that Stan Hope I Pilot they found of the Mitch Hedberg project they made back in 2001 no Channel they put up like yesterday Stuff that's like a TV show they made oh cool Sits down just with the fucking the chair and there's like breaking down things that are going on in the world Oh, no, I don't ever see that video. Yeah, it went it went fucking viral. You've seen it, right? Yeah, I'm friends them I was he's doing his video. He's doing his premiere for million dollar extreme 2 in Austin on Sunday. What does that?

A sketch show called million dollar extremes fun. They got canceled off adult swim. Oh, that's right And now they've made it again and I Wild he's a wild But you see moms or mothers, what is this? That's a brilliant one? It's what is he writes a script realizing get some local. I'll try to be an actress to read the lines So they're like, oh, well, let's write lines. And they're reading these lines not knowing what it is. And he goes, it's something like, yes, I am the curly haired one.

I think we should try to fuck the curly haired one. It's a girl code. No, it's crazy. And they're just like trying not to laugh so hard. But him and Nick Roach before, it's one of the funniest dudes I've ever met. Those guys, I pretty agree. They're doing some wild stuff,

locking a bunch of homeless people in a fucking I don't agree with what happened and just let's watch This one's wild I love fights you mean no no fish tank bum live It's just like it's it's real world. You're saying fish. Yeah, it's real world. You get the craziest people Really real world's okay, cuz they're only mildly mentally ill, but they always got a racist and a black on real world I'm like let's put him in producers. They know how to make drama. That's what he's doing Yeah, fish tank. I mean if you're gonna make a show you can't just have a bunch of people hanging out having a good time Yeah, you need a bunch of cat friends even the Kardashians went after each other

Remember that In the hallway one of them through a leg kick Joe was watching commentating People not throw leg kicks now, that's like a new thing with street fights people throw like kicks. I saw it after Who was with me it was it was a Patriots versus um Broncos So there's some fucking drunk Boston fans who were leaving and somebody some old man talks some shit to him No, I'm about to lock next time. He's like shut your mouth. He goes easy, bro And then just like it to the face knocked him out

Like not to the to the leg kick using the leg To the leg kick. Not to the face. Oh, to the leg. A leg kick. Using the leg. Yeah, we're not talking like it's an arm kick. It's not an arm punch. With the leg.

He hit him with a head kick? He opened up with a head kick? He just spun and kicked him. It was like, this guy was like just a nice Denver resident. Oh, jeez, guys. Didn't know what he was getting into. You never know who knows that Jiu Jitsu shit now. He hit him with a wheel kick or spun around?

Spun around. Oh, fuck. Back in front of his wife. Spinning wheel kick in front of his wife? Yeah. Oh, god. They were like, he was like 60. Oh, no. Yeahning heel kick in front of his wife? Yeah. Oh god. They were like, he was like 60. Oh no.

Yeah, you can't do that. 60? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. That's how people die. And then you go to jail for the rest of your life for looking cool. I think it was me and Simone on Wednesdays who were like, use my karate skills.

Yeah. So dangerous. Yeah, I mean, karate guys and MMA guys should not be allowed to drink. Yeah, true. They're usually pretty cool. Imagine getting drunk with Sean, while he doesn't do anything. He's sober.

Sean Strickland. If I could do a cool kick, you're doing it. I'm fucking kicking everybody. Yeah, it's a good point. The second I start drinking, I go, would you fucking say, Jamie, about Ohio State, you motherfucker? Yeah. What the ass?

Oh, Jamie, can you bring up Michigan walking into Ohio State Stadium? Nice change of subject. The thing is though, I don't think you would do it if you could do it. True, yeah. I guess it humbles you a little. Yeah, you don't care. I could do it. I don't do it to anybody.

That's what I noticed about going to UFC's, the backstage stuff, is they're so quiet and just very chill, meek people. Very nice. I don't know. I've hung out with Nate a lot. He's a different animal. But that's also why he's such a superstar. people very nice Also why he's such a superstar everybody loves him because he's he's the same guy it's also why he's great Yeah fighting absolutely genuinely doesn't give a fuck Leon Edwards is my favorite fight

Yeah, we cracked him in the left hand then pointed out Leon's doing moves mm-hmm like trying shit. Yeah spinning elbow to the forehead and yes goes He's trying to come back to the UFC. I hope yeah, I was reading articles I don't know if it's substantiated, but he's there looking for it fuck. Yeah, that guy I don't know if it's substantiated, but he's there looking for it fuck. Yeah, that guy Will fight anyone bro. I was always said that he was the most under appreciated superstar during the Conor McGregor times Oh, yeah, you guys are missing out like you got Conor McGregor, but Nate Diaz just beat him and said I'm not surprised Motherfucker yeah, I can't believe it was a storm the field guy. I'm not surprised I can't believe it wasn't storm the field guys. I'm not surprised

That was what got me that's what got me into the sport what about this I was at that one with Epstein Amazing yeah, it was like what yeah Epstein this is a guy he caught a dude in a triangle And then to the While he had him in the triangle like fully locked up Einstein Einstein amazing. Yeah, he was nice. Yeah Nice going on What does he do it offseason? How does he make money? He's Nate? Well, he yeah, he got he could Happen he had a boxing match with Jorge Masvidal. He won and he won but they didn't give him the money. I think he's got a big yeah I think see if that got resolved. There's a there was a crazy thing, you know

You have these fly-by-night promotions and sometimes they're not funded correctly like any black room like we'll send you the check I'm like give it to me now We'll send you the check and like give it to me now Get paid if you're lucky, yeah, if you're lucky, I saw you almost fucking beat a guy in Vancouver Island Oh, yeah, he's like I'll send it to you later I've never seen him because I always the checks were always from him. They're coming My money goes now. We got to send it goes bro. He went into the back. Yeah, it's like no No, no, no, no, right the check now pay me now. Yeah that guy was well We're doing this soup guy was super sketchy talking about his balance and his what are you talking about?

These have to clear sues reported nine million dollars. So they robbed out of nine million bucks pre-fight deal in place Promoter blah blah blah yeah, so he beat him, but he's owed nine million dollars. I hope he gets his money Yeah, also. He's doing hard to get a money on a person doesn't have any money though. That's that's the problem you get old Ferrari yeah, you could have stuff, but Nate Nate does uh they do like Jiu-jitsu shit they'll do like seminars. Yeah. Yeah, it does a lot of that all the time makes plenty of money doing seminars The Nate's a legit jujitsu black belt Purple right it always like as he was doing this he was like I'm just a purple belt His brother was one of the best of all time

That was always cool with him, because anytime I've hung out with Nate, I've never hung out with Nick, but he talks about Nick with this reverence. There was a time. That I've never seen anything like it. People missed it because most of it happened in the Strike Force days.

And it was a small, yeah, Nick's Prime. Nick's Prime, he was a bad motherfucker, dude. He was a terrifying guy, because he had the most insane cardio that's ever existed He's this guy swam from Alcatraz to the shore. He swam five times What five I said he's twice and he corrected me online said five times since then he's probably swam a bunch more So it's probably like ten times Yeah swim from Alcatraz in the ocean with the sharks the thing that was supposed to keep Escaping that island people voluntarily do it

He's done it a ton of times train bad his fucking cardio was off the charts And you just couldn't keep his pace he'd put a pace on you and hit you like 50% punches Yeah, 50% punches, but constantly having your face Why is talking shit? We're gonna do bitch which can do bitch pop pop pop pop pop and then every now and then rip one to The body rip one of the body pop pop pop and you're exhausted And you can't breathe because when someone's punching you you can't take a breath so even if he's only punching you like this You're He's relaxed he's a better boxer than you he's better at your jitsu What are you gonna?, take him down?

Like what are you gonna do? Like he's- How did he ever lose when he lost? It got to a point where later in his career, early though, everybody slows down. But in Strikeforce he was in his prime. Like Frank Shamrock, Nick Diaz versus Frank Shamrock in Strikeforce is a great example.

Whoa, that's a fight. He beat Shamrock. He beat his ass. But when he lost in his prime, a great example. Whoa, that's a fight. He beat Shamrock. Ooh, he beat his ass. But when he lost in his prime, how did he lose? Well, he didn't really lose in his prime. Well, he might have lost a couple of decisions in his prime in like three rounders. I'd have to like go back and look at it,

but like he submitted Gomi, which was like this huge thing in Pride with a go-go plot, like off of his back while he was high. He tested positive so tested so positive after the fight like he had to be fighting high damn yeah and he's like yeah fuck yeah fight high let's go bitch like a new rock movie looks fun oh the smashing machine I have a but yeah the trailer is amazing Jamie bring up Michigan walking on the field versus Ohio State oh shit But yeah, the trailer is amazing

Jamie bring up Michigan walking on the field versus Ohio State. Oh shit He won't do it He has no we won. We're living high right now. We don't need to A lot of we should we should we fuck dude. yeah me and Nate almost beat Leon Then when I slapped him it was crazy We got the belt the bitch slaps those other thing who'd hit you a bitch slaps It's crazy. I didn't I never thought about the because his punches were like I didn't know there were 50% like that Oh, yeah, like you just can't breathe because I'm full he'd tire himself out exactly for sure So he's putting a pace on you that you can't keep up with and he's not hitting you at full blast

Like Nick would throw kicks like for fun. They were silly kicks like they didn't they were never gonna hit you He would throw like he would pretend to throw like a wheel kick or throw a high kick He wasn't even trying to hit you. It's just trying to put something in your face put some in your face And then let it you know that he's so relaxed in there with you He'll throw silly kicks at you Yeah, and just beat you up. I might go to that New Orleans. I think poor ye is fighting again Yes, poor ye is gonna fight max Holloway, right? That's the last fight of his career right That's in New Orleans

Well poor ye is gonna he wanted one more and you want a legend so they got a max Holloway might be the number one guy for fights in this dance. Oh Really? He's Hawaiian. Yeah, they go Coronas up there Little airplane bottles and then like shit my hallway The ancestors of people that had the balls to get out in the ocean get out of a fucking homemade Make it across the Farmers only

What a crazy dating app that is farmers, I know it basically means white How do you say without saying it Talking we I got good news and bad news daddy His name is Tyrone He grows weed it's only watermelon. I don't know what It's only watermelon. I don't know what Drinking any crazy the delicious food is racist chicken water on the both great. I love them both It doesn't work with any other race you can't you make fun of Italians for pizza and no one Irish potatoes. No one cares

That was super sensitive fish and but the thing is it's also and your food that everybody loves I know delicious Like how how did that happen? Well, yeah, if you bring up fried chicken and black people you're a piece of shit But like doesn't everybody love fried chicken Chappelle has a bit about it. It's the best He does it's a great bit. No, I was talking about fried chicken. It's so good. You ever go to Gus's in town Gus Genuinely actually avoid fried chicken It'll kill you

I love it I grew up on Popeyes and it'll weigh you down We used to get Roscoe's when I was in LA Roscoe's chicken and waffles. Oh my god. It's perfect It's so good what butter and the syrup and then you got the hot sauce with the chicken Ooooooh Doggy Ooooooh That's good stuff It's so good Diabetes Syrup and then you got the hot sauce with the chicken That's good so good diabetes it's coming, but not today Today it's mouth pleasure. I was bro. I thought that diabetes was coming. Yeah, but you're not good fucking You saw ways to well. I was like I got at least be pre-diabetes

No, you got those fucking Irish jeans son you got the whole ride diabetes or do fucking nothing You know he'll get us is the gout the gout's coming for us Isn't it no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I eat 90% red meat. Wait, wait, wait, are you sober? Yeah, dog for three months. Sober from alcohol. Yeah. Be clear. And according to the law, everything else. And nothing else today.

Gout known as disease of kings, a type of arthritis characterized by painful swelling and inflammation in the joints, often the big toe, ow, caused by a buildup of uric acid in the body, leading to formation of urate crystals in the joints. Ew. Linked to lavish diets and alcohol consumption uric acid in the body leading to formation of uric crystals in the joints. Eww. Wait a minute. Link to lavish diets and alcohol consumption of wealthy individuals including royalty.

I guarantee you it's the alcohol. And not moving. Yeah, it's not, it has nothing to do with meat. Tell you what, the first time I saw that description I went, oh, oh, that's the one that's going to get me. It's coming to Crystalize my joints. Wait, are you going to church too or is that bullshit? I have been to church.

Oh, fuck. Why? Have you ever been to church before? I've been. It's actually very nice. They're all just trying to be better people. It's a good vibe. Why don't you go to a Catholic church?

They sing. I tried that. I did that. I went to St. Pat's in New York. That's a beautiful place. That's a beautiful place. So nice. So I gave me a rosary I Keep it if it's not family. What is which one is it? It's just a Christian church I'm not an operational Christian. Yeah, all this fucking Joel Osteen shit

Yeah, I'm just giving all my money to a linear Animal proteins are just pork red meat shellfish and oily Fitcher high in pureeens make an individual susceptible to go there you go, huh? No, shelf additionally alcohol reduces the metabolism of uric acid enhances disease condition. Oh I guarantee is the alcohol and we're getting a steak tonight I'll drink it all day alcohol fucking lobby probably said yeah, it's the meat Just like they did with sugar. The sugar lobby's like, actually, it's not us. It's saturated fat that's causing all these heart attacks to happen all the time.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a long COVID. It has nothing to do with us. It has nothing to do with us. Just a fraction of the reason why you're not gonna. It's long COVID. You're getting cancer because of COVID. It's all the COVID gotcha.

Now's the new strain, you see that? Yeah. Of what? COVID. Come on, you're getting cancer because of COVID it's all the COVID gotcha. Now's a new strain you see that? Of what? COVID. Come on. You're lying. It's a new one coming out of China. There's always a new strain. It's a new release.

It's a new mix tape. Yeah. It's the Beastie Boys lost mix tape. COVID hasn't been good since 2019 dude. They fell off. They got a new producer. Oh really? They got a new producer with better beats.

This one gets the kids. This one only gets kids. It's catchy. It's catchy. Well, they got a new producer. Oh really the producer better be One they always do kids that show to make you like oh, I guess we have and old people here Yeah, I gotta take care of the old people. What about grandma? What about where you come? I saw someone on Twitter saying you literally killed my mother to people were out there doing shows 20 well, that's the 20. All right back dude 20 cases of the new variant That's how it happened in Seattle member you heard about the guys or a Portland where was it the first case Yeah, yeah, yeah of what somewhere in the northwest someone would come over from China. They gave the wool hand They gave it over there and that's the first cases and and those people don't got no sunlight So they got zero vitamin D. They're susceptible. I hope that monkeypox joke worked in your storytelling show look at this Look how they describe this

It's actually really funny. We're all like talk about it afterwards Described as a slightly upgraded That is really funny Described as a slightly upgraded version of the variant that's prominent right now. Oh god. Subhash Verma. Somebody at the mothership got covid recently. That's the person who's bred to be a scientist. Ron got the covid recently.

He got the covid and it whacked him for like a week. Really? A week? He's fucking smokes 20 cigars a day. He has whole cigars. He got the Vax too. He got the jab. Thank God. It would have been way worse for him. He would have been dead.

Isn't that a funny thing? I think it could have been worse. My sister flipped her car once when she was in high school and she was totally fine. And totaled the car. The cigarette lighter was the only thing salvageable. She was fine, wasn't wearing a seatbelt. So she was on the roof of the car. cigarette lighter was the only thing that's a salvageable. She was fine wasn't wearing a seat belt So she was on the roof of the car and we're all like thank God you weren't wearing seat belts or could have been worse

They always say well you guys get flown out of the car and they live and the car flips 30 fucking times and they live Cuz they got the is that was saying to like a urban myth at least that uh if you're hammered, and you get an accident, you're relaxed, so. I've heard that. Yeah, I've heard that.

Keep your drinkin'. I've heard that, yeah. That's the same thing as people falling. Oh, there was somebody on, this is not happening, this fucking Irish Chicago guy, I forgot his name, Sullivan something, but he was listening to Huey Lewis,

and then he walked off a building. Oh, and then he's crushed. The nurse was like it's only thing saviors. Did you not know you were falling? My god damn My god damn There you go about fucking time feeling these enemies though I Would I the yawns the only reason I go I stopped the booze the only reason I stopped the booze is because I wanted To see what it'd be like to have no booze for a long period of time. Yeah, it's a lot better I mean I feel a lot better. Don't you get bored though. No, I thought I would that's the thing Come on. I have fun doing stand-up

I have fun hanging out in the green room. Yeah, but you're also not like Well when it comes to no booze Because I stopped smoking weed never booed he goes oh, I mean, I'm still doing vapes and stuff Smoking weed never in Boone he goes. Oh, I mean, I'm still doing vapes and stuff What was the the final switch I wanted to try fall down well I'm just got tired of fucking feeling like shit when I would work out in the next hangovers are real later. It's real It's also an added it just you're just tired all the time It's like it beats you down, and if I was doing three nights in a week at the club. Let me bong this beer.

Yeah, exactly. Vibodega Cat. He's got his 29 year old metabolism. So cold. You'll be back, you'll be back. You think so? Yeah, that's a supportive friend. Yeah.

I'm not alcohol. You didn't have a fucking problem. I totally could have a drink. We're saying we don't judge you for your current situation. Thank you. But we would love to have you back It's just one of those things where you stop doing it. You're like, oh, I feel so much better Why was I doing that? It's also like at this point like who gives it so don't drink see I have a different thing I go I go I'll go like four or five days

Yeah, typically I try to get four or five days. Yeah off by day five by day five. I'm going let's go Fucking wreck It's not even like you can't just have all of a beer and then you regret it the next day But you're like the next day you go fucking already threw away those five days Wheels fall off the guy had a good time drinking don't get me wrong. I like it. Yeah. Oh, it's just I don't like what it does to your body I mean Someone say someone had a great statement that it's like you're paying for tomorrow You know high

What tomorrow for one hamburger today The guy was addicted to hamburgers. He had no money, he never had money. Winnie, Wimpy, Wimpy. Who the fuck is this? Wimpy's Burgers. Oh, Wimpy's big. He's just a guy addicted to burgers? Yeah, he was a comic.

He died. He's dancing to it, man. He died from burgers? Yeah, five guys killed him. Fucking assholes. I know. Bro, those old cartoons were crazy. Oh, don't get me started on the racist ones. Five guys killed him. Fucking assholes. I know. Bro, those old cartoons were crazy.

Oh, don't give me a star on the racist ones. Oh, they're all racist. I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. That's it. I just wanted burgers. Do you ever see the stories of Blow on the set of Popeye? Huh? Blow on the set of Popeye.

Like the movie? Movie Popeye with Robin Williams. Yeah, because they were shooting in Malta. For sure. They were shooting in Malta so they could be away from the studios and they would send film cams back and they'd send the empty film cans back full of cocaine for the set because they wouldn't check through the film cans oh my god that's so crazy when Popeye came to Malta the film set was full of cocaine

they had to be like we're gonna do something wild of course he's not even character he's just he's cooked up he's got one eye closed that's funny I've made that face They had to be like, we're going to do something wild. Of course. He's not even in character. He's not. He's coked up. He's got one eye closed. That's funny. I've made that face. Every single time I've ever done cocaine, I go.

You couldn't escape it. They were actually shipping film cans at the time. Film cans were sent back to LA for daily processing. This was shot in Malta. And we found out the film cans were actually being used to ship cocaine back and forth to this set. Everyone was stoned. I don't know why they say oh what a lame way to come up blown out work Oh, and what a bunch of dorks orcs it makes sense Shelley Duvall

She went she went through that and the shining how that lady survived well have you seen her now? She died ye oh she did yeah, but she died She died and then mark you were saying what what were you saying? She was ugly before she died? Beautiful. Is that what you were saying? You're a fucking weird piece of shit. You're a son of a bitch. I love pop like.

How many memes are the fucking Jack Nicholson with the axe coming through the wall? Oh, here's Johnny. Like inclusivity and then trans women on dating apps? I think I said this by accident. I was on the thread. There's so many of those. Like that one scene with Shelley Duvall in the bathroom when the axe is coming through. Here's Johnny!

Oh yeah. That fucking movie was crazy. Slow build if you re-watch it. It's really nice. It's great. It's a really good movie to watch. You know what's crazy? Aesthetically pleasing.

Stephen King didn't like it. Kubrick. King didn't like that first movie. Stephen King doesn't like anything cool follow on Twitter everybody well you gotta get hit by a bus did he got hit by a guy driving a fucking truck not paying attention he was walking on the side of the road and clipped and broke like every bone in his body Here's our guys for a long time he got clipped. Yeah, he got really broken apart

So he's a older man, you know not like as a young guy. We maybe current kind of recover. How hot is it in here? Not how to write so odd. It's Jamie. It's Jamie's fault. It's America. Is it is it not hot? You know, it's Jamie Jamie's fault. It's America. Is it is it not hot 72? Let's go see you know it is a little Two is a little crazy you all right are you? You had it said at 72 Jamie that's unforgivable You're what do you a girl? Girl like a worm. They like it warm. They like it warm? If it's up to a girl she'll go 75. Whoa! Easy!

Birdcrush is gonna sue you. Birdcrush is gonna sue you. I wish you weren't doing that. That is a bad look. Auschwitz 2025. He did that for the thing. For the survivors? I'm legitimately Auschwitzing in here. I'm gonna be outmanking. He did that for the thing. It was a good bit. For the survivors? It was not a bit.

I'm legitimately, I was schvitzing in here. I was schvitzing too, dude. You feel better now? That'll be a meme. You shirtless doing that? I am hot. Well, Jamie. I mean, it's obviously the stuff.

Jamie, can you bring up Michigan taking the field against Ohio State? I think Joe's actually gonna like it, and I think he's gonna respect football when he sees it. Let's go. Joe does not respect football. Let's go. I do respect football.

That's not true at all. He actually has recently come around. I started watching football. I don't approve of the CTE. Yeah, it's not good. Horrible. You moved up to the CTE. You guys are fucking evil. I'm a referee. I've got it myself. You're both fucking idiots. I've got a touch of CTE myself for sure. You don't escape it. They tested high school kids that have CTE. Yeah, I'm a little worried. Yeah, you should be worried. You've got the touch. The touch is good. The touch makes you a little reckless,

a little funny, a little crazy. I got touched. J-Mil, I know what you're going to do, because I know you're a nasty little... I know what you're going to do. Oh, you knew. Oh, they got you there I knew he was gonna do it dude Does that hurt you know where they threw that actually did hurt that's Because that was a third down

Fuck on an airplane. He was ready. He had that geared up. No, I knew he was going to do that. Look at all the stars. But me too, you see? It looks like a movie. It really looks like a movie.

Meanwhile, what I sent Jamie yesterday. You want to get mad? Yeah. Let's get mad. Let's get mad. The LA Fire Fund, you know, they had this big show. Fundraiser. Big fundraiser.

They raised $100 million. Wait till you find out where the money went. James Lee did a thing about it on Instagram. Yeah, and there's been articles written about it where people were like, where's the money? The way they distribute the money is so crazy. You're gonna read this and you're never gonna wanna donate to charity again,

because you find out what charities are really with A lot of these like don't nonprofits are really about the lady running the charity that got the money makes almost a million dollars a year BLM me too. Yep this I looked into it a little bit. We'll watch it But I what what they say though is that within the first month they distributed half of that money hold on before you press play on this Listen to this. Hold on. That guy with the fishing hat is not a reliable news source. My number one source of news And then he's trying to he's trying to blame the Annenberg foundation That is one of the richest fucking families in

California they have there was so much fucking money and what have they got money I mean How about play the video let everybody figure it out for themselves Let's platform this guy. Yeah play liberal Jesus themselves. Let's platform this guy. Yeah, play liberal. Jesus might be one of the biggest scams in disaster fundraising history. And as usual, I'm bringing the receipts. First off, according to reports, the fire aid benefit concerts raised over $100 million, supposedly for LA fire

victims. But since then, residents have been asking, where did all the money go? $100 million raised for residents, community things, and funds that are supposed to help the policies and there's no strong accounting. Let's figure this out. According to the fire a website, it says that all direct donations will be distributed under the advisement of the Annenberg Foundation.

According to the IRS 990 form, the Annenberg Foundation is a 501C3 based in Concachon, Pennsylvania. I live there, conchie baby. In this lovely office building. One massive red flag right away. I know that building. Is that only 33% of their annual expenses

goes towards actual charity programs. The rest goes to administrative costs like executive compensation. Look at the numbers, they treat you pretty good over there starting with top dog, Cynthia Kennard, who's making three quarters of a million dollars plus another six figures in bonuses. She started the fire.

Basically almost seven figures just for one person there. Here is Cynthia, AKA Cynny, hanging out with Gavin Newsom, pretty hot. Deciding or is Cynthia, AKA Cynny, hanging out with Gavin Newsom, discussing or strategizing about things like how to solve them. I would, I would. Both of them, six years ago. Anyway, just to give you a point of comparison with another nonprofit, Doctors Without Borders,

they spend almost 90% of their money on actual programs versus less than 1% on administrative costs. Local journalists have also been asking, where's the money? They found, quote, the Fire Aid website names only three Palisades organizations that receive grants among almost 120 organizations listed as receiving grants. A couple of Q ones in there. No, no, no, keep it going. You see who got the money?

A couple of Q ones in there. Hold on, let me read it. Why'd you stop? Because he focused on the Palisades. Just display it. 120 organizations. Just play it. We'll read it. Why'd you stop because he focused on the palisades just display it play we'll talk later specific What the Israel those three are? Cahal at Israel a bond of Pacific palisades and palisades charter high school listen scorpions thing directly reach out to the foundation They were kind of given the runaround various extension numbers somebody saying they would call them back

No one called back also some mysterious man named Philip, no last name, he was never found. This is just crazy. So essentially what they're doing is taking the $100 million, then paying themselves roughly 70% of it, and with the rest of the money, they're dishing out to various other nonprofits with their own administrative expenses,

and that's how $ hundred million dollars just ends up disappearing. Oh yeah yeah wow okay maybe he's telling the truth maybe he's exaggerating but the very least this is the NFL does the cancer research stuff 70% goes administration 30% goes to the actual cross these nonprofits that's crazy yeah yeah they're for their own profit And well, it's just a little it's a loophole They found a loophole to make a great living by being virtuous and then they see a fire like shake. We're all getting raises

But all we're saying Jamie is that this guy is saying that 70% traditionally goes to Administrative costs 30% goes to the actual problem That's for all charities But if right that is for all charities for a lot of charities, but not doctors without borders Which is one of the things that he brought up. He just picked one though He's comparing you with this stuff to just like I'll pick a charity and this he picked probably one of the worst ones You know, we've gone over the charity stuff many times. There's right in bad charities There's good and bad charities. There's good and bad charities. But the point is that this $100 million,

you're saying was distributed to a bunch of different places, not just Pacific Palisades. Looking into it to 100 million was a number that got used in advertising to make everything look big and look good. Probably, my part I was trying to say too, assuming that it is 100 million, there's a bunch of companies and a bunch of artists

that said, I'm gonna pledge a million said I'm gonna pledge a million I'm Gonna pledge a million they never and you have to go collect at all You don't know if they all sent it in oh you're how many times I pledge stuff I pledged a million dollars to no names in I oh I haven't done one single Fucking championship game watching Ohio State win and I was going no name needs a D tackle I'm gonna give him a million bucks for real. Yeah, and then they were like you want to give us that million bucks no legally binding it was a pledge Jmo well that's isn't that the weirdest thing about colleges like how much money colleges get in donations from people that are like

really wealthy that used to go there yeah yeah I even go to the big thing with college right before my dad that big thing with college kids, right? I just wanted to win before my dad does. Yeah. That's why these college kids are getting money now. It's kind of crazy. I talked to one at Barstool in Chicago. He's played at Indiana Center.

And it's like, how much per year? He goes, 300 grand to transfer to Indiana. Oh, that's for a year. Whoa. No name's Pat Coogan. What? He transferred to Indiana. Yeah.

He was from Notre Dame. And it's just like, that's a good living. I don't have to go into this for my life I'm gonna take my degree and like they should start a lot of those kids forever 100% they're making money off of them forever that's sold out you can't have a player for four straight years yeah there just needs to be regulation on it because this is now that now they're letting them pay players so now it's just the fucking Wild West they got it they got it made some they need to do that shit for the Olympics they got to make

four-year pledge even that it's the big schools are all gonna They don't get nothing Olympics. They get really zero everybody else gets rich you beat up by a man that can happen Enrolled in that woman's box some broad getting teed off you Now You I thought you were like now that's actually not a trans that's a different they were wrong about that one. And now it's like Neuronfro came out. What's that? I thought you were like, no, that's actually not a trans, that's a different. They were thinking, there was a lot of people that were saying that it wasn't really a man

and that it was just some woman with an issue. Like some sort of medical issue. The medical issue is testicles. Dang! And an XY chromosome. That is a medical issue. XY chromosome and testicles. Apparently internal testes that don't drop. It's like a condition

Oh some males have yes a nice Internal Fine come up with the pills Fixing shit except in China. They're crisper in the shit out of those dicks make it a big juicy dick It's good math guy with Dividing and then fucking banging your lady fuck was that guy? Oh, yeah with CCP hat on show your work I gotta look into this CRISPR. I never heard of it. I gotta do it is it too late for us I think it's too late for now, but in the future But not in the future in the future they're gonna be able to gene edit people that are alive right now

They're doing it to like fetuses we gotta go back in time and then shoot my dad up with the stuff to get me the real Shit yeah Yeah, come back fuck. I wish we do a protect our parks four months from now Hi guys, he's just gigantic giant hog 150 pounds heavier hi guys. He's just gigantic a giant hog Pulled the balls out last night. That was pretty they don't look like you have great for a human. Thank you huge balls They look like the dick a bighorn sheep You ever see a bighorn sheep's balls no they're ridiculous The first time I saw a bighorn sheep my friend Steve Rinell is like look at his balls

You need to look at their balls. It's like it's extraordinary like church bells Whoa giant fucking balls Titus giant sacks Wow they all have giant balls Wow With that look like a big puss looking them up there was just no problem You can't tell what's AI anymore man you really can it's all it's got a problem. That's an AI. That's the black one. You can't tell what's AI anymore, man. You really cannot. It's over. There's no way to tell.

You gotta go straight to the comments and hopefully people pointed it out. I got tricked by one. By a sheep? I was embarrassed. What happened? You fucked it? And it's like, I'm a guy. Some fucking hot ass sheep came to the bar.

Oh yeah. No, it was a video of Trump giving a speech, but they I was like no fucking way What did he say? It was not it was actually really funny. He was like something about gay people I've forgot. Oh, no, no, it was like really funny, and it seemed like something he might say yeah He's like when they're watching it like nice. It was close, but it took me like Three minutes to be like three minutes long wouldn't say that yeah finish coming, but it's it's over now Truth there's no video

Well, I'm gonna be embarrassed, but yeah, I tricked you to good careful note of the work of colossal labs The biotech companies are over because the absolute worst group of people we've got in our country and it's not even close. I think we'd all be better off with them gone, but as I was saying, my administration and I have been taking careful note of the work of Colossal Labs, the biotech company that resurrected the dire wolf. If they can bring back wolves, they can bring back dinosaurs. Terrible lizard. That's what dinosaur means if you break it down. resurrected the dire wolf if they can bring back wolves they can bring back dinosaurs terrible lizard

That's what dinosaur means if you break it down, but picture this one velociraptor mounted border patrol agents They'll rip your head clear off Pterodactyls patrolling the skies velociraptors on the ground to prevent the immigration apocalypse We may have to count it with a dino pocalypse folks. It's true the immigration apocalypse we may have to count it with a dino-pocalypse folks it's true I mean you watch something like that while you're watching you go he might have said no also Trump's so wild you just never know you never know didn't he fucking post

something the other day that Biden was assassinated they used a clone whoa didn't that like truth social truth social didn't he post something like that some some some wild thing that somebody posted Biden this isn't even Biden cuz he had a bunch of plastic surgery. Yeah, it's face pulled back like a lizard Do you know what they're actually doing at the Forest Department? Every email they sent that mentions biodiversity gets bounced back What does that mean? They are so against the word diversity that? Biodiversity those emails are not allowed to be

sent from company emails. Wow. Yeah. Did you see his n-word thing? You gotta protect the parks. Here goes. Trump shares unfounded conspiracy theory claiming Biden was executed in 2020. Holy hell. Oh, who is he debating then? That is so ridiculous, but who is he debating? He thinks he was what do you mean? He debated him in 2020. Oh, he debated a different guy Yeah, not really Biden. Yeah, the one he kind of lost. I bet he was like fucking clone showed up Well, there was that time that the tall Biden was at the White House. That was crazy. That was crazy. There was a Biden that was like six inches taller than Biden.

And they have makeup. They can do things to people. They can make you look like Biden. They can make you maybe not you, but like, like some people would not not so long a face. Yeah. Barron's was he six, eight? They were barren. But Barron's losing six eight Baron would stand out Mark don't be don't be depressed. Don't be sorry. I know we're pulling you out I'll never forget, but you were a great president. You're like Lincoln This is way off topic and you guys aren't gonna think it's as funny as I do but one time my my family and I were out to dinner at Hoss's in Mechanicsburg and the waiter

came over and goes, I got a joke for you. We were like, what is it? And he said, horse walks into the bar and the bartender goes, why the long face? And my family and I erupted laughing for like 20 minutes. That's a classic. It's a classic. No, but it became like we can't stop laughing about how good that waiter was. Oh yeah.

And yeah, it stuck with me my whole life and I knew when I started telling that story it wasn't going to be good. Ah. That's literally the joke that I said to him. I know, I know, that's what it reminded me of. But just that whole like, you know, when you can't stop laughing. Pull up the video that's all Biden, Jamie. Been there. What is Hosses?

It's a tough one for me. Do you like Hosses? It's like a lower level, um... Sizzler? Some reference I can't remember. Yeah, the wheels are off. The wheels are off, bro. Chilis?

The wheels are off. Sure, Cracker Barrel, whatever. I'll go to a Chilis any day. There's a salad bar at Hosses. Oh, hell yeah! But you know what? Four generations. No one touches it, but they do have nachos and melted cheese. Whatever I'll go to a Chili's any day. There's a salad bar at horses. Oh You know what generation no one touches it, but they do have nachos and melted cheese I'm gonna go to the salad That diced ham you know little cubes

You know the Pittsburgh salad is how's that what you shit on a guy's just fries with some lettuce on top Pittsburgh people are fat That's a great city underrated city fat cities the best city. They don't know how to party. I love them What's another fast Cleveland Buffalo? Look at the size of them Bro look at the size of them. He doesn't look anything like Biden Shane. We were there. Look how tall he is We're right there. I'm gonna windows towering over his wife Like what is that? Wow Biden dirty. What is that? That's weird

Shane I went to the I think there was times when we had he had some complications and they just brought another guy Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I I think they probably done that before with Pete Roosevelt Apparently, yeah Should Connor who was telling the story was it here that they were telling the story of? Obama was sitting there talking to one of the people that he worked with and Then they removed the mask and he realized that the person who he was talking to was not the person he works with and they were showing him how good the CIA masks are. Oh, it was green room conversation.

Someone was explaining in the green room that they have the CIA. Sounds like it might have been Metzger. It might have been. Oh. Moving over you. You don't know? You don't know?

You don't know about that? You don't know about that? You don't know your reference of a name you've never heard of? Like, why do you think he went to Seattle in 2016? I'm like who is any of any of this? They'll hit you with five more in a row. We recovered from the first one. Oh the picture you took of me Because I love massacre for two decades and it's like

You need a break after he cornered me at Terry Black's the other day. I was in the corner You need a break after he cornered me at Terry Black's the other day. I was in the corner Safe word Epstein. Oh, yeah, bro. He just hits you with like five six conspiracies in a row that you don't know about You don't know what that Cleveland 36 What happened what happened you know, it was just an experiment gone wrong what Five, six conspiracies in a row that you don't know about. You don't know about that? Cleveland, 36? Can I ask you a till? Can I ask you a till? What happened, what happened? You know, downtown was just an experiment going wrong. What? I think it was a part of that program.

Yeah. It was the South Africans. Yeah, programs. All part of programs. That's what happens when you grow up in a cult and you think everything's a cult when you get out. Everything's a cult. And then he starts working for Jimmy Dore

so he like finds out about real conspiracies. Yeah, Metzger had his first birthday like four years ago Enough's enough when he looms over you with the conspiracies is like he's not even a real person. He's like a cartoon Oh, yeah, is a guy in a movie I'm there's no guy really like that to just trap you and hits you with 50 conspiracy in his real It's a current meds care. I'll get, when I have him on a podcast. It's hilarious It's just like wind him up and then but hold on the first thing you said the first thing Yeah, let's go back to that like what are you talking about? Yeah, they do in the Pacific then who did it?

They sunk a ship what happened? Jesus Christ You don't know You don't know Well, they put up the Epstein files he's the guy who reads the 60,000 pages yeah instantaneous and jerking off Yeah, he's doing other things on the side. He's playing chess and jerking off right reading the stuff So where to he started in black rooms? Him and big J. Yeah, well started in black rooms that is even big Jay yeah well black rooms will have you yeah you're like a shitty on comic that we're here come on yeah they love they

love having a white guy yes there's dudes that are just joke machines Metzger is a joke machine oh you got him in the writers room he's a machine that dude miss pack out of the spot in Atlanta once was down there for some and she was like all right go and show. And the show started at eight. I got there at 7.30. Doors are locked. Until 8.45. And she's like, and then I go in, I'm like,

hey, Miss Pat, send me, like, oh, we gotcha, gotcha. The MC does almost an hour. The MC did an hour? Yeah. And then he goes, oh, y'all, Billy from Iowa. Billy from Iowa? Youall Billy from Iowa Pure death it sounds like it Ari Shafir Billy from Iowa Close enough after an hour. Yeah eight dicks in front of my manager the time. Oh my god You invite your manager to the black room

Yes fired up dude this shit makes me what is it? Oh, yeah, it's fired up dude this shit makes me what is it? What are they talking about? I posted this on my story. It's the I was a little hungover laying in bed And this was killing me how funny this is Start the key start from the beginning Did he try to name the Punisher came Diddy Charles named the Punisher came in here yesterday. She goes, I was watching the Diddy Charles, some guy named the Punisher. He's a bad boy back in the day. He's murdering a bad boy. He named the Punisher. Who was the Punisher?

Was his security inside the bank? I Meal talking about shook night used to put handlebars on guys So it's crazy shit about shook night whoa night put handlebars on dudes that be funny to put a helmet on to fucking the guy Why do you fuck each other? That's going on? I their homosexual power move? It's about I think I never thought of it like that I Think Ari's got it Ray J. Oh, it's Ray J. Oh huge. I thought okay. Why do I think it was meek mill accuses? Shug night of bars I

Mean maybe wasn't meek mill maybe was that's a different video. I've seen yeah, no no it is it's Ray J 25 sticks of butter Oh Jesus. What? Use the water as anal. Wop-bop-a-loo-bop. Not Marjren. Marjren's bad for you. Got greasy though, bro. That's so crazy. Yeah, the grease in that bottle. Camera on a mace are... They get together, have fun.

They have fun and they forget that they're on mic and times have changed. They don't give a fuck. They don't. They might get off. But times didn't really change. It's just like people have to hide it. And that's why people like Protect Our Parks. Times have changed.

Yeah. Times have changed. Times have changed. Times have changed. Times have changed. Times have changed. Times have changed. Times have changed. Times have changed. Times have changed. on Mike and times of change they don't give a fuck they don't. They might get off. But times didn't really change it's just like people have to hide it and that's why people like protect our parks. Times are the same. And times definitely don't change if you're fucking black dudes from Harlem or rappers came around a mace. Yeah. Yeah they're like

they can say whatever they want. Yeah they can. But are we gonna get the dirt out of all the diddy people? Or get some? Have you heard about it? It's all dirt. What the fuck are you doing with your chin? I want something concrete. Bro it's listen to any story dude. But like JLo, DiCaprio, are they gonna talk?

Kid Cudi said. Bieber. Kid Cudi said Puff Daddy. Burned his car. Broke into his house before Christmas and Opened all the gifts for his kids. No Really? House

Presents under the tree Ari Ari might be fucking white-nitted. That's a fucking Ari trick. You hate Christmas, you heeb. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Ohhhh. Damn, dude, I can't believe you guys killed him.

Hahahaha. Oh, jeez. Santa? Oh. Santa too, you would if you could. You would. If if the Jews got there you're gonna burn your beak 55 minutes out of this episode and everyone in the past Jimmy. I'm not trying to add work. I swear brother sorry J Moe I'm not trying to add work, I swear, brother. Sorry, JMo. JMo? He's very sensitive on these shows. He needs to be respected.

I guess so. I respect him. JMo. Bong a beer, brother. We'd love to have you. Are you sober too, like gay rogue? You have been losing weight. You look good.

You look fucking fit. Velvet. Jamie, bong one beer. Bong one. Wow. He's actually, secretly, he's the best guy at Bong and beers. I know right He does it quietly and then he comes up here and does it and he's like that was nothing Luke combs Luke combs No, it's a shotgun. No one can fuck with yeah, he does it so quick. It's like it

Makes sense. Yeah, are you doing that? Magic trick he just punches the bottom of them straight in the can in two seconds. It's gone. Like how? Come on skills Can't help yourself. It's a problem There's so many country guys, I can't keep up now. Yeah, it's a big popular Brian's act really did blow up Country well it used to be a thing that you would have to hide People like what kind of used to be a thing that you would have to hide. People like, what kind of music?

Anything except country. Anything but country. Yes! That was the standard. That was a thing. They wouldn't mention polka. Right. Have you listened to polka?

No, I guess I gotta. Shit rocks. Shit. Go out to Western PA, you get a little polka. I remember I was dating this girl in the 90s and I had to turn her on to Dwight Yoakam. I'm like, you don't, stop all this country shit. Just listen to A Thousand Miles From Nowhere. I turn her on to Dwight Yocum like you don't stop all this country shit. It's just radio country

I don't like thousand miles from nowhere. You tell me that's not a good song You're crazy old country is the best old country old country is great, but Dwight Yocum That's why a lot of the new guys are good exactly. There's a lot of guys doing old country old country Yeah, Oliver guitars Cadillacs hillbilly music that song beer Zach Brian Relax hillbilly music that song beer Right, I mean what it's great. We're all Anthony do that's that yeah, I mean what is that yeah? Oh, yeah, so full. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh my god. I mean that is like some shit That's gonna that's gonna stand the test of time that song. Oh, yeah Whoo, that's not gonna be around a long time looking Beyonce's doing country. That's how popular right? Yeah

Hold them. Yeah my mind here. She's winning awards She's got a turn in white Jay-z stop fucking up Watching her kids I think what happens is the fucking country just swings one way, they want simpler times. Yeah. Terrified of nuclear war, terrified of fucking, what's going on, what are we doing with Russia? You know it's a big one, the military enrollment went up.

Oh during Trump, I think it happened during Trump. They put out a fucking white commercial. A who? They put out a white guy commercial. They're trying to get the whites. Oh well the whites are out there. The army's back, they're going hey, come on whites. Yeah. Come on white They're trying to get the whites. Well the whites are already back. They're going hey come on white Yeah, I'm gonna watch the left try to get the men you got to fight Iran

Well, they also stopped the whole why are we fighting Iran trans thing in the military? They stopped all that why let them fight They're scary. I love Dave Smith point on that. It's like the left is like That's going no trans people should also kill innocent people in Yemen Don't kill random people at a wedding party yeah Bro, how about when Trump tweeted out that who these things they got those guys in a circle and Blow them all up and Trump's like there will never bomb our fucking ships again like okay The I don't have much advice for the Houthis other than stop fucking hanging out together Literally in a circle they all walk to a truck Yes

They keep doing it every time I see a drone strike. It's fucking 20 dudes walking together Well the what the anti war people are saying is that that's a tribal ceremony that they do these They get together in these groups has nothing to do with the war Also possible. Yeah, I didn't know this guy. Well you can't ask questions when you're in a drone. It's a terrorist Green light or no green light green light green light. Yeah, you just label a terrorist. You gotta get a green light? Do I get a green light or no? Green light, green light, green light. Yeah. Call of hooties.

And that's been Bush, Obama, Biden, Trump. They just kill anybody, label them later. Ah-ha. Well, the amount of people that are killed by drones that are innocents is off the charts. Oh yeah. Any other type of warfare. Like, it's like 90%. Yeah, we gotta go back to swords

It'd be nice. It'd be tough. You look at the guy like that's the bad guys. Can't get a fucking bystander with a sword Well back then everybody was a bystander You know when they the sword times they didn't spare anybody you see they sent drones in the Russia You know they got him on that that roof. I've heard about this everything I've heard from Russia Ukraine I've never believed any of it who knows so much on any side but one thing that the Ukraine attack is legit where they bombed all the bombers yeah the drone was like what they yeah they they they caused seven billion dollars in damage in one day mmm they blew up all these bombers oh they sent since suicide drones to blow up all these

bombers that were on these airfields. Suicide drones is such a great term. It's just a bomb. Yeah. It's a remote control, but it doesn't shoot things. It flies into things. It detonates. That's what I call them, suicide drones. Yeah. They fly the drone. The drone is the weapon itself. It's intelligently controlled. They just fly them in and jets and Japan was all over that Japan was oh, yeah Really, but yeah, well math yeah the kamikaze's that was all math Oh really get those guys messed up and fly them right into the fuck I yeah, you know you're met out of your fucking mind

Same thing with the the Nazis at the in the tanks the tank guys who the guys had the most meth And the ones who dance at clubs, it's the Matthias Molly Remember the techno Viking remember that guy Yeah, they got rolled there was some guy was being shitty to some girl And he grabs by the arm you get out of deals like guys gives him a bottle of water and drinks a little water Viking dance no like ruled yeah, I can get rules. I saw that on the e-bombs world So he takes this guy, hey, get out of here. Get out of here.

I'm with that guy. I'm going home. Yeah, you're going home. You see this fucking dude, that dude has cardio. He'll beat your ass for hours. And then he has to point at him one more time. Go. You don't want to fuck with that guy.

That guy's, that's the bad motherfucker that hangs in the group. Let it go, bro. Look at this dork. Breathe it out. The beta comes over, offers the water. The beta. Upside down water. Trying to like, you know, really important.

Yeah, but if that's your boy. Yeah. If one of your boys is the Viking guy. Is that chill, bro? I know I got your wall. And then the dance starts. Give me some music, Jamie. Is that a gun on the left of him?

Techno Viking in the house Holy moly he can move Black socks all the way up that guy fucked all the dirty hippies that night. Oh, no one else is dancing Yeah, I've been seeing it since I was a boy now that I'm looking back on it. This guy's kind of fucking gay shit He's trying to blow people are walking through no one else is dancing like you you don't hang out with This guy now they're dancing fuck. No. I don't want to hang out them although. Oh, there's the cut to the dude who got sent away Poor dude. Where are we? Oh, okay, oh That makes

Oh Berlin! That makes sense. That's a fuck parade. That could be the new name of Protect Our Parks. That really is a fuck parade. 2000 fuck parade Berlin. This is what pride is. Boy I hope they don't all gang up together and fight Russia. Got crazy weird abs. Oh my god.

Uneven. Yeah mismatched. A lot of abs like that That could have been this whole thing could have been staged They're not sure because really by an artist the whole video That totally makes sense because the way he pointed but so performatory back to the guy to why would they have followed up on the guy? Jamie always get into the bond with things Jamie you're great, and we all love you You know we all love you. I know you got fired up earlier sorry about well you you still bringing up Ohio you get his fucking time on Michigan

he brought up fucking no day yeah because you gotta let him slide it's like when you have a high tech you know this is. They won the title and they're still babies. Oh boy They're still babies. You can get like winning you can go, you know, you guys lost to Michigan. They all go You guys won't even play them anymore. Oh boy, they won't play us do Be careful looking to that history You know what Texas though Texas plays Ohio State first game of the season and they won't play them On Sunday night. I did see that that pissed me off. Why not they don't they don't they don't want to be a night game Why cuz fans it's a much more rowdy environment they want to fuck

Yeah, they want they want hungover that's funny when you have to schedule your games based on how fucked up people will be Like for sure. Be careful. It's not a little 10pm game. Oh my god. Joe you would love watching Michigan walk into Ohio State. Can I see it? Ha ha Jamie's got the controls Not today Satan Only because you asked, I'll show it to you. Oh, you asked, he's gonna show it.

Michigan, who I hate more than Ohio State, did suck this year. They're playing at Ohio State. Michigan has owned them for no fucking... Three straight years going into this? No, yeah, three straight years. And it's just nice to watch a team walk into an entire environment that hates you. What's it? And they're just together just walking, I mean it's... And I hate Michigan.

And Michigan's not even good here. But it's nice to watch. But they haven't lost to Ohio State so it's like a great MMA game. Okay here we go. So wait they're not wanted? It's only gonna play 20 seconds though. That's alright when it shows the stadium. Damn that's quite a stadium. Wow. All enemies. It's only gonna play 20 seconds though. That's alright when it shows the stadium

Damn, that's quite a stadium Wow imagine one of those guys imagine me one of those guys about to play this game fuck CTE Let's go. Yeah, fuck CTE. Let's go I want to be smart when I'm fucking 70 Is this it is it Watch that what's this? Watch this let? Is this it? Oh this is Ohio State If you're gonna watch that, go watch this What's this? Watch this, let's play this too 0-2 I wanna hear this when they get out of the field

Oh this is not the Michigan game It's Tennessee yeah this place it's been shit rules and he's got fired up years there's a wife off coming first ever December game that's when Ohio State turn it around what is first ever December gaming they just added the playoffs this year so there's never been games this late. Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo of a game song of all time. Fuck, I'm trying to think of some good entrances. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Yeah, they played Moscow like we've definitely watched we watched that we watched it's the most insane concert You ever seen your life well you need to see it right already needs to see right now already's definitely see it You need to see it, but you need to see it You got to show Billy Joel and USSR we've done

It was a punk we ever played Led Zeppelin jump around Wisconsin. That's a good The sound isn't it used to be What about there's an ariada grande concert in London? Manchester you Look at that fucking crowd Look at that fucking crowd! Damn. Is this Berlin?

It's Blacksburg, Virginia. They're about to watch some mediocre football. Yokokis! Hey, white band members. Down the left side of the starting. He goes to the play. Fire on Shrabble. Back of the play. Hey, white band members. Woo! I'd love to tell you I didn't watch this earlier today. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh man.

This is the fucking Coliseum. Fucking Coliseum I got run there And what a fucking song America fucking Talking about here for Guatemala If I saw Wisconsin going this crazy Extra bottles of water and I'm making it across that fucking desert. Oh, yeah Video we just showed us 65,000 people in the crowd the first one we watched the high stadium in this place here is

double oh shit is the big house 70,000 there holy shit you know I was supposed to perform there this year yeah really yeah me and Zach Brian we're going to do Michigan Stadium yeah and they said no to me but then they caught you back well I thought well no name got me Yeah, what the fuck what did you do? I didn't mean it let's play let's leave with Russia do enter Sam man in Russia. Oh shit Don't that's the shit don't do it. We want to look at the crowd That's no this is America giving it to Russia Bro you want to see what's good okay? You the size of the fucking crowd. This is Moscow 1991

Holy shit, how many people is that? Helicopter right over it, but it has to be millions over a million why is it? Right there the end of your empire. Yeah! For real, you go, we're all poor. This is Pug saw this and goes, I'll be back. Yeah. Kind of sick.

Kind of sick. Right. He's in the KGB at the time. Is a kid here. Well, nah. Moscow. Fuel. Oh shit.

Look at that fucking crowd. Holy hell. Jesus Christ. Nah. Moscow. Fuel. Oh shit. Look at that fucking crowd. Jesus Christ. You imagine being on that stage where that energy feels like? No. 1.6 million. Oh my god.

Wow. In the crowd? In the crowd? Oh my god. Man, it's like Sunset Club. Some things just up to two million. 1.6 million in the crowd? That's so crazy.

You do one show, you retire. Yeah. No, they didn't. How was the paycheck, I wonder? Oh, it must have been in rubles. Yeah, it must have been nothing. You get five potatoes in your life. You get to live.

We are not going to kill you, so. Congratulations. Long-haired gays. your life yeah you get to live we are not going to kill you congratulations long-haired gaze all right wait I know we're trying to play it out this is crazy now Jmo Woodstock 99 corn all right we really hit up the bottom here. Hold on. What's the corn? Daddy trust me daddy. I hate corn They need this Protect our parks. Damn. I mean there's no, there's no experience on earth like being pat filled on that stage. There's no experience in on earth. Also there's no coming back. Yeah. What do you mean? Have you seen that? You go... Yeah

What? What's the Asian guy who does the biggest song in the world? Whoo! Sock Oh, that guy Gangnam Style Gangnam Style Gangnam Style What, he comes up from the stage?

Just trust me on Woodstock 99 corn I know, look, you're allowed to not like corn I didn't really like corn until I saw this fucking video We'll see it, we'll see it I trust you Alright, they were gonna Gangnam Style Trust me, buddy You would never throw us a bad one I don't like all this fucking video You would never throw us a bad one I wouldn't do this other than that Bulldog video that never got brought up Here it is just all right, I saw some tear lads not like all they see

Look at the jugs on Jig Jig Jig League And flaxen Israel is pre 9-eleven This was on pay-per-view. Oh shit, I guess full hood I Remember this song from my youth. I think the idea here, keep an eye on the crowd, right? And also, you know what got me was the lead singer's face when he walks out and sees the

crowd. He gets it. Like you just watch a guy take that energy in. This is a weird time in music like rock rap. DMX played earlier Oh geez. Oh my God! Look at that crowd! Look at the crowd! That crowd's alive! That's a living organism! Imagine being an alien and you come down and you watch it

and you're like, what the fuck are they doing? The pinnacle of their existence seems to be giving yourself CTE in front of a million people. Headbanging! Anyway, that one got me going. That's fun. That was the 90s, baby. What was the last one that we wanted to do?

Gang of Style. The jump out. The jump out for the win. Did he have any other big hits other than that? No, he faded away. No, he had one other big one. Right off that one. Really? Norman already shot him down.

Not giving the man his flowers as the kids like It's just this isn't it that's not it no the one pops out of the floor. That was like the fucking Asian Macarena. He comes flying out of the floor. This is it. The Macarena. Watch this. Oh my god. That fucking rules. And he goes right into it. Whoa! Look at the size of that place.

Oh my god! They're gonna all kill us eventually. Holy shit! It's a fucking squid game. Look at the size of that crowd. Literally drone footage dude. Holy shit! Holy shit! That's insane! Wow! Wow! How many people was that I wonder? Holy shit! It shook the whole place, yeah no shit. That's millions of people.

Can you imagine being his wife? Hey, can you clean up a little? See what I fucking did? You fucking idiot. I just flew out of the floor. Shut the fuck up and cook me a sandwich. Alright, we're done. Should we eat? God bless America.

Yeah, hell yeah. Let's go get some gout! Yeah! Gout of order. Goodbye everybody.