The Joe Rogan Experience - #237 - Tommy Chong

Episode Date: July 9, 2012

Joe sits down with Tommy Chong.

Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. little alien it's an overgrown kid thing thank you very much for coming on this show man to me to me this is huge when i was a kid uh my parents introduced me to uh cheech and chong movies and and cheech and chong albums when i was i was a little kid man yeah my parents were hippies especially obviously my stepdad my stepdad was a huge hippie and he loved to shit man and uh so for me to is he he still around? Yes. Yeah, he is. How's he doing? He's doing great.

Does he ever come to the fights and that? No, he's never... I think they've come to one. He's not really into that. No, he's a real hippie. Peaceful guy. Yeah. Yeah. I think he always felt it was really weird that I was obsessed with martial arts when

I was a kid. I don't think he really liked it that much, but he loved you, man. Everybody's different. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's different. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's why i pushed the other way you know who really gets pissed off at the kettlebells the delivery man oh yeah it's fucking hard the people at the ups store they look at me when i get them in the mail like what fucking really i didn't i didn't sign up to work out

there's little girls that work there and I'm so sorry. And these things are 70 fucking pounds. What are these 70 pound They go from what? Cannonballs. 20 to 80. Oh, they give you heavier.

There's dudes out there that use 120 pounds. Yeah, I've seen them. I trained at a place where they use kettlebells. There's this dude, his name is Mike Mahler and he's all vegan too

which is kind of cool that he's able to put on this much mass and be all vegan. It's all muscle though. Oh, he's an animal. And he's got one of the, he's all vegan too sure cool that he's able to put on this much mass and be all vegan it's all muscle though oh he's an animal and he's got one of the he's got some of the best DVDs when it comes to like really like like heavyweight exercises he throws around some heavy fucking kettlebells yeah I can see him doing these crazy exercises with like 125s and that's really hard to do these things if you've never seen it before, folks, it's almost like you're kind of doing gymnastics

almost. It's like you're doing different exercises. A kettlebell is a ball, like a cannonball, with a handle. That's all it is. It probably was. That's probably where they got them. Probably a handle. And they used them right at the turn of the century. Sandow, the strongest man in the world, he always posed with his kettlebells. Oh yeah? Yeah and it's funny how the whole bodybuilding thing went full circle. It started out, you know, back in the Greek days and that, you know, they used like animals to work out with you know they pick up a cow until you know a calf until it became a cow really yeah yeah I mean

that's how they trained anybody figured out that working hard who was the first guy that figured out working hard makes you bigger oh it goes back to the cave man they figured that out you think like cavemen did like push-ups and shit oh no no no they did push-ups meant you know like pushing an animal away from right or running their ass off no it's fight or flight you know the humans were we were prey when we were on this uh earth we've always been prey so it's always been either we fight or we run until we figured out cities and god damn do we get ahead of the game the city the city as soon as we figured out cities. And God damn, do we get ahead of the game. The city?

The city. As soon as we figured out cities. Yeah, well, you know, as soon as we figured out agriculture. Really. It was agriculture first. Before that, it was like tribes of people going around, you know, seeing who had what. What's really crazy is that's kind of in dispute now. There's a bunch of different scientists now that are pointing to all these different sites that they've located

where they're saying it's real possible that people were hunter and gatherers way longer ago than we think. Sure. And that there were cities and civilizations. In between. Yeah. In between before. 10,000, 15,000 years ago. And it probably went back.

It probably went back to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They found recently some new spot that's underwater that's 8,500 years old. Like Atlantis? Well, it's just a village. Yeah. It's a village that was underwater.

And they say that the Earth's sea levels have changed so much that there's probably a like a bunch of shit like cities everywhere that's just underwater oh yeah you know it's like we have like a weird view of the past it's like so piecemeal yeah it's almost like there's too much stuff to know and and a lot of most people don't even want to know yeah i get into some of this this conversation and especially my wife or her eyes will glaze over yeah a lot of people don't give a fuck and they'll start looking for something oh excuse me for a minute and then it all interests me though i mean i'm really like i when i was in i was in paris a few years ago and i went to a museum of antiquity, beyond antiquities,

where they had the cave drawings, and they had the tools made by these so-called cavemen. Right. Well, the tools they made were made out of this rock that's like glass, you know, I forget what it's called. But anyway, you could do major surgeries with them. They could get them so sharp. Wow.

And the way they formed them, it wasn't alley-oop time or cave, that typical Flintstone image. These tools were phenomenal. You could put them today and say, I had these tools made especially by this named artist and everybody would go yeah I believe that Wow and how old are they oh I don't know million million years a million I mean really goes back right I didn't think there were even humans a million years ago I mean I don't know I'm lousy with

I'm lousy with okay so it's just So it was just a long time ago. We don't have to say a million. Let's just say... Right back to the beginning. Well, of what they found. What they found, they found the rock that they would sharpen the spears with. They were actually long spear tips, but they would get so sharp because they were made of some kind of rock glass thing. Yeah, I know.

I've seen it. I don't know what it's called. Yeah, I know. I've seen it. I don't know what it's called. I don't remember. But yeah, it's beautiful. They would chip them, and they would get them literally razor sharp. Razor sharp. And that's how they killed the bigger animals.

What a weird thing of nature, though. I mean, somewhere along the line, we must have been strong enough to kill shit. Oh, sure. Or did we just get stronger when we started eating things and were we vegetarians before that well they found skulls of people uh ancient people and you can see the ones that were eating you know with the big jaw bones and and the big uh they're meat eaters basically it is weird that there are meat eaters and vegetarians. It is a weird thing about life.

Things like deer and cows, it's kind of weird that they don't eat meat. You could just walk right by them. You don't ever have to worry about that. But if they were meat eaters, you'd be fucked. You would be fucked if a cow was a meat eater. Could you imagine if a cow was trying to eat you? Cows are fucking huge. If cows had big hippo mouths and they

were just looking to eat people we would have a real fucking problem with cows it's weird how there's animals that eat animals and then there's animals that don't do any animals any harm and you could basically just fuck them up and then the ones closest to humans are the ones that are there really fucked up the chimps yeah because they're they're both they They'll eat meat and they'll eat vegetables. They'll eat whatever is there to eat. But they'll find another chimp and he looks hungry.

He looks good. Let's tear his ass apart. Yeah, if they could do cannibalism, I believe it. Chimps scare the shit out of me, man. Yeah. Did you hear about that kid that got nailed at the... Well, he was attacked apparently that sanctuaries for reintroducing chimps to the wild they take chimps that were kidnapped and

Zoos and for pets and experimented on yeah, I mean essentially all chimps are kidnapped if we admit the chimps are intelligent Right they are yeah, we know they're intelligent you know they're there it's like they're almost people and yet we just we're allowed to kidnap them and test shit on yeah yeah yeah see what happened to him when you do this to yeah it's kind of fucked when you really I guess that's why they get pissed off when they get a chance you know that's a that's a ruthless way of finding out shit you gotta go wow is that the only way well like the circus people yeah ever ever ever be around circus people like lion tamers i i seen a met a lion tamer in uh spain i guess it was what a cocky bitch no it was a guy him it was a guy and you could tell

you could you could you could tell that was a generational thing you could you could tell who the lion tamer was. Right. There's a crowd of people. You look at the guy with the big claw marks across his face. Whoa, no way. Big claw marks. Oh, my.

Right across his face. God. Woo. So you go, oh. That must be fucking terrifying. And you could see the lions. Because the most exciting part about the circus was watching them unload and load the animals. How does he control these big cats?

Well, that's part of the gig, you know. Just when you think you can trust them, you turn their back and... How many Siegfried and Roys have to happen? Yeah. Four people wake the fuck up. And everybody was like, oh, the tiger was frightened by a feather in the crowd, and so it grabbed him to drag him to safety. Ah, I'm not buying that.

That thing's not scared of shit. It's a fucking giant white tiger. What are you talking about? You really think it's scared of a lady with a feather in her hat? Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. That's a tiger. Decided to just fuck that dude up, and that's what they do.

Did you see that thing on television? What was it? About a Bengal tiger? This guy was it uh about a bengal tiger this guy was they had a little uh i was in thailand i think was they're all on elephants anyway and they were like one guy was a gamekeeper he had a bamboo pole and this they what they had this tiger and they watched him and all of a sudden that tiger, Bengal tiger, leaped over the elephant and took out one of the guy's arms, took out his hand. And whoever was filming, they kept filming.

And then the commentator said, the animal trainer wasn't hurt bad. And you could see the guy was missing a hand. He was like holding his hand and screaming. and the tiger was like up that high yeah and then they then they they dissected you know visually the the cat and showed you where why it could spring so high why I could jump so high and and it showed the tooth the teeth and the reason the cat could move the way it is the way it moves is that the bones were not connected to the to the muscle tissue muscle tissue was all separate and there was no ligaments attached and so they could so it's all one mass of muscle when that cat they

don't have ligaments yeah they showed the the bones the bones aren't attached to the to the muscle oh wow i don't even know how the hell that would work how would that work well they would have uh how does it work if the bone is not attached to the muscle they just it floats it floats it's free floating so the bone is just it's a a rib cage. See, most bones are around us to protect our innards. Right. And, you know, the way we're structured. But this Bengal tiger, in order to make that leap, it can't be attached to anything.

You know, the strength would tear the ligaments apart. Oh, wow. You see? And so instead tear the ligaments apart. Oh, wow. You see? And so instead of, it's a design, you know. And so instead, it's like free floating in, in, amongst the rest of the meat and everything else. But it was interesting. And the razor claws, the, the claws come out automatically. Yeah. Like switchblade knives They come out

And they're razor sharp Razor sharp Razor sharp Like people don't even You can't even wrap your head around This ain't a house cat And then This thing rips apart a deal

Then it's a Bengal tiger With the fangs And so So when it When it gets the neck Or something Like a big water bubble Or something

You know It can do damage Oh my god But But it showed that cat Jumping, and it took the guy. And the guy's got a bamboo stick. Yeah. I was like, no bamboo stick, no hand.

Oh, it was awesome. It's pretty clear that those things are put here to clean shit up. Yeah. Those things are put here to make sure there's less things. There are less big things. Yeah're big things yeah everything on earth including cockroaches and ants and everything is their whole mission is to clean the shit up yeah it's true isn't it funny how that is it is funny it's like it's all a big cycle like mountain lions have to kill the deers and a big cycle like mountain lions have to kill the deers and deers eat the grass and yeah yeah and their food their their their survival food like bears and it's just we're we're so removed from

that as human beings especially lately and you know this last portion of society's last hundred years or so where you could buy anything in a grocery store. Like, we've so removed ourselves from that whole life and death struggle for meat. Now meat has just sort of become something you just buy. Like, we've completely removed ourselves from this primal equation of actually killing the animal, actually taking apart the animal. Yeah. We're, like, really kind of delusional about what we do. And using all the animal.

I mean, how many people, they eat meat, but they don't like hunting? It makes them sick if they see a dead animal on the road or something. They'll turn their stomach. That's weird, man. That's a delusional sort of a weird state of mind.

The animals, you know, just when they eat the meat, too, you know, it too, they'll go in for the organs right away. Yeah, isn't that cool? Yeah, and then they'll leave the rest to rot. Well, that's why they figure out who's the alpha wolf. They'll eat the liver. The alpha wolf gets to eat the liver.

Yeah, yeah. It was this crazy... You ever see that documentary, Brian, about that dude who lived with wolves? The guy actually used to plant a kill and put a liver there and then eat the liver in front of the wolf so that he would be the one that was in control. Oh. Yeah. Did he ever dance with him? I don't think it was the same type of movie.

It wasn't in his car. Yeah, it was crazy. And then he had to go away to fix something. There was some wolf. He's a fix something. There was some wolf. He's a wolf expert. There was some wolf invasion in this other area. So he had to go and help somebody. When we came back, the other wolves had decided he wasn't the alpha anymore.

So then he had to beg for forgiveness, and he had to be a beta. And it was terrifying, man. The dude was whimpering and whimpering and doing all this. He knew all the moves. In front of this big fucking wolf with its teeth bared. It was so horrific. You think, what would it be like to be that man right now, locked in a cage with a wolf who doesn't want you to be the alpha anymore?

Especially a wolf that, they're so smart. And you know the guy was just working on his wits, just trying to keep it together while that was going on. That must have been fucking terrifying. Well, he became a wolf. He obviously became a wolf. Yeah, he had to be. Obviously, he did the right thing. Yeah, he was going ...

Put the tail to the side, turn around. It was amazing, man. It was amazing. He just tucked tail on that wolf, and that wolf accepted it. It was so frightening to watch, man. It was really, it's a gripping thing. You know, people on that wolf, and that wolf accepted it. It was so frightening to watch, man. It was really, it's a gripping thing. You know, people on this podcast, the Twitter people go, man, you talk about fucking scary animals too much.

Listen, I'm sorry, folks. I don't mean to have this as a recurring theme. This is just how I really fucking think, okay? They're scary. That tiger that jumped on that elephant is fucking horrifying. They're like avatar creatures. They don't even look real. He was acrobatic.

I mean, 20 feet. 20 feet. Yeah, it's incredible. It showed him spring and 20 feet, and he went up. Boom. It's funny that just nature made something like that. And that fast. And gone. It's so crazy that nature decided to make something like that

it's it's really ridiculous it's like everybody else is on a bicycle and all of a sudden this is something that's on a corvette you know it's like it's total ripoff yeah it's not fair at all a tiger's not fair at all you know the fact that we can exist in the same area as tigers, like there's poor people in India. India is a really scary place for tiger attacks. Yeah. Oh, sure. There was a documentary where they were wearing these helmets, and they had a mask on the back of the helmet because the tigers don't like sneaking. They don't like confronting you head on.

They want to sneak up. Oh, so if you're looking at them, they'll leave you alone. No. They figured out after a while that it was masks. So they started jacking dudes even though they had masks on the back of their helmets. Big bite on the mask. But they have these, they have armored

neck things to keep because the cat always goes to kill you. The cat, that's the thing about like chimps will just eat you, bears will just eat you but cats kill you. They kill you and then they eat you because they have to kill every day. A chimp can find some bananas and not have to kill anything for a while so they have a different attitude that's same as bears yeah that's why have you ever seen videos of bears eating other animals it's horrific because they're eating them alive yeah they're just

holding them down and doing them just like they do a salmon yeah that's their style yeah hold their hand one paw down and start chewing that's the only style of eating they don't ever kill you that a couple that got killed in the tent they recorded they had the recorder on yes remember that yeah yeah and no one's ever heard it just the one woman on that yeah it was the grizzly man right yeah the grizzly man yeah and he got chewed up and it's all documented well not only that would be like six minutes long i know that's what i mean so it took him six minutes to finally find the right place dude that's so scary whoa but the guy the guy had a chance to get out of there that

guy was out of his mind i think that was like a suicide by grizzly bear yeah it's one of it's one of my favorite documentaries if you haven't seen grizzly Man folks it's unintentional comedy at its finest form it is it's amazing it's like it is like a beautiful Coen Brothers movie documentary yeah like if you you don't have to change a word of it and it would be hilarious if it was artificial if you like made a mockumentary and this was the mockumentary it it would be brilliant. You'd have people laughing in the theater. You'd have people going, it's subtle, but it's great.

And then even a little over the top when he was trying to convince people that he wasn't gay. Remember when he was walking with a camera? I mean, the fucking dude is literally walking with a camera going, well, if I was gay, it wouldn't be a problem. Can't find a girl. If I was gay, it would be easy. But I'm not gay. Like, what? No straight guy walks around with a camera going, I'm not gay.

That's probably why he was up there. He had an identity crisis. Yeah, yeah, poor guy. That's a disturbing thing, man. You see someone who's burdened by their actual who they are, who they really are, you know, they don't want to accept the fact that they're gay. Well, they've been born into this mesmeric, hypnotized society that they want to fit in,

but they don't. And so they, like a lot of the Caesars in the past you know cruel bastards most of them were gay really yeah Nero and the boys were they gay or were they just like anything they just fuck anything was there they were just savages were they just nuts I think more towards the game yeah yeah the little boy Jerry Sandowski kind of well so I've always heard that when people get molested by, like a lot of molesters, when they catch them, they find out that they also were molested when they were young. A lot of them.

So if you're living in this savage Roman time where everybody's just cutting people up with swords, how many people have morals? How many people aren't fucking their kids? Well, that's why Christianity was so important back in the day, because it gave a whole small amount of people a moral code. Yeah, they needed something. To anybody who thinks they were going to... It would have probably taken way longer without any sort of ideology

for people just to agree to not chop each other up with swords. It would probably take a long time. Well, that was the whole thing. any sort of ideology for people just to agree to not chop each other up with swords yeah it would probably take a long time well that was the whole thing if you had a knife you had your sword you used it there was no no way about it and if you did if you weren't going to use it then you didn't hang out with those people that used it it's like hanging out at a bar you know and and and you know the rowdies and they have swords when they get drunk no without swords but you know I mean nowadays if they had swords it'd be there wouldn't be too many around could you imagine how ridiculous that would be if people outdoors we're lucky people don't challenge that just start walking around

swords well they got guns in the south yeah a lot of places a lot of places have concealed carry yeah and there's an argument for that, really. Do you think so? Mm-hmm. You know what the argument for it is? That it's already pee in the pool. Guns are already out there. It's not like they're, you know, like you can be safe.

Yeah, but they're like magnets. Yes, in a way. Yeah. Well, you know, it's just like the martial arts. Just like martial arts, same thing, man. If you know how to fight, for some reason, some guy in the crowd will find you and challenge you because it's like light understands light. God, there's silly people that have challenged like Chuck Liddell. Absolutely.

Silly people. People really don't realize how ridiculous some people are out there in the world. Suicide by suicide. It's not even that. They're just so stupid. I know. They might actually think they have some sort of a shot at beating his ass. It sounds like there's no way.

Everybody knows that guy's a fucking multiple-time UFC champion, one of the best knockout artists ever. Really? You think guys are picking on him? Get the fuck out of here. No, they really probably would. They do. There's got to be someone that dumb.

The world is filled with mor oh yeah well you know they just can't help themselves yeah they're they're like the wrong way or a turret it's it's almost like a social torrent thing yeah you know where they they can't help themselves they have to say the worst thing the wrong thing and get whacked and a lot of that is like what we were talking about just they were abused when they were raised they were raised They were raised incorrectly someone didn't give them the proper amount of love something didn't is that phones going on in the background? Well, you got good ears. Well, of course, I'm dead. So are you going deaf? Mm-hmm Everything's going on me. Yeah, man, you're you're suffering right now from cancer, right? I got

Prostate cancer how how far is it? It's slow-moving You're suffering right now from cancer, right? Is that what's going on? I got prostate cancer. How far is it along? It's slow moving, apparently. I've had it, I guess, for about six years now. I can tell you exactly when it happened. Yeah? I was in prison, and all of a sudden, my boner wasn't responding. And ever since then, I said, oh, there's something wrong. And, you know, the prostate gets big anyway on old guys, and mine was big.

And then I went in and had it checked about three, four times, and they couldn't find anything. And that's like three, four times a guy's with fingers up my ass, you know. So it wasn't that pleasurable. In fact, one guy told me a joke. He's getting an exam like that. And he told the doctor, he says, will you stick your other finger up my butt too because I want a second opinion.

So I got to the point where I had like four second opinions, you know. And they said, well, it could be. I don't think so. Yeah, you're okay. And then my numbers, my PSA or whatever it is, some numbers that you get in your, I just had my blood checked today, and I'll know tomorrow if it's, you know, under control.

But apparently everybody has can you're born with cancer cells everybody has cancer cells and what happens when you get older the immune system if it's if it's say taxed in any way you know eating wrong drinking wrong it will get the cancer will increase and eventually kill you but but the cancer cell is just like a zombie cell you know it doesn't know it's dead it's half alive and it can only reproduce itself which is another zombie. And so what you do, in order for good health, you eat things that kill cancer.

And you stay away from stuff that feeds cancer. Like sugar, for instance. Sugar will feed cancer. Sugar is really the worst substance on earth. But it's so delicious. I know. Isn't it funny? It's terrifying. That's Adam and Eve, isn't it? Cheesecake is delicious.

Isn't it? A nice piece of cheesecake. You've got to have sugar to make cheesecake. Yeah. You know? Everything. Or you could get that Cheesecake Factory has that sugar-free cheesecake. That might even be worse, though.

Yeah. Splenda? Splenda bad for you? Well, look at, I've worked in a cookie factory for a while, and I couldn't eat the product. Really? It was so chemicaled up. There was so much crap in it. So you saw what got put in?

I saw what went in, and I physically could not eat a cookie. Is it like Oreos or something? They're Oreos or something? They're Oreos. They're all those marshmallow things. The only thing I could eat was a marshmallow. That was kind of organic. And that was it.

Marshmallows organic? Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know. It didn't taste as bad as the rest. It's not. It's the big chemical soup like all the rest. Yeah. Well, you know, it was like lard. They put a big thing, a couple of gallons of lard into the big mixer, like a cement mixer.

Right. And then pounds of icing sugar into the mixer. Then you mix it all up. Then you pour it into a hopper. And then it goes over top of the cookies, and it comes down. So that's how you make that? That's how you make the center of the icing. So the marshmallow stuff is kind of organic.

Yeah. I know it's good for the skin. Marshmallow is good for the skin. Really? Yeah. You rub it on your skin? If it's on the skin, it's like a mask or something. There's something, lanolin or something in it that's good for the skin.

That's interesting. I've never heard that before. But everything else, oh, that sugar was horrible. So sugar is just terrible for your body, period. It gives you all the problems. Overweight, diabetes. Chris Lieben lost a fight because his body went into like a state of shock because he ate a bunch

of sugar after the weigh-ins before his fight with Brian Stan. He had really dieted. He had really cut it down to the wire, so he was just dying to have something in his body. So you've got to think he's been eating clean, watching his diet for a long time, trying to get down to weight. He makes weight

and then eats a bunch of candy. And he was fucked, man. He couldn't fight. Later that day he was sick. He's in shock. long time trying to get down to weight he makes weight and then eats a bunch of candy oh and he was fucked man he couldn't fight but later that day he was sick yeah he's in shock it was toxic yeah but it's amazing it's a poison you're wondering he didn't throw up do you feel i'm sure he did i'm sure he did he fought he just didn't fight like himself i mean he still fought well but he's just a tough dude but he definitely was compromised you could tell if you get sugar you know naturally you know fruit or something like that that's a lot better for you you know bananas or something there's

always something in there with the sugar right that that that's good for you well that's how you're supposed to get sugar right it's when you pull it out and then just eat it by itself it's like what are you doing there you're not supposed to get that much corn syrup is in everything that's supposed to be really bad for you the worst absolute worst isn't that crazy i go into whole foods now shopping because i have i'm on a very special diet and i stand in areas that i can't eat one thing in that area like all the breads i can't eat bread rice right all the starches what what kind of a diet do you follow it's very green very green kale and raw foods carrots and and it's actually quite delicious

do you make like a kale shake oh yeah oh yeah i've been making uh i got a juicer a natural juicer worm driven juicer right and it does it's not worm-driven juicer. Right. And it does it. It's not a speed thing. And so what it does, it squeezes the juice out of everything. And I juice everything, everything. They say you should eat the fiber too. The shakes. The shakes are good for that.

Yeah. You just cut them all up. But somebody had a great idea. One of the dudes from our message board. He said he didn't have enough money for one of those blenders. Yeah. Because Vitamax blenders are expensive. He said, but instead what he did is he juiced his vegetables

first and then took all the pulp and then threw all that in a blender with the juice. He made his own smoothie. I'm like, that's pretty clever. That way he's getting all the plant fiber. He's getting the fiber too. Sometimes when you juice, after you go into that bucket where all the fiber drops and you like pull the stuff out shouldn't i be

eating this too sure you know i mean i guess you're getting a massively concentrated form of nutrients if you're just juicing though yeah but the fiber gives you that fiber is good too gives you that nice turd you know that's what i'm talking about dog you need to say when you get older you appreciate a solid you. You can cook with that. That bucket of stuff. A lot of people make vegetable lasagna. You could definitely cook with it. My wife made carrot cake out of the carrots.

But I couldn't eat it. Because of the sugar. I don't mind. I don't mind at all. So do you feel better now that you've altered your diet like this? I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my life. That's amazing. And I got cancer.

That's incredible. That's a great statement. How long has it been that you've been on this diet? Two months. Two months. Let's see, May, June, July. Three months. It affects you a lot, huh?

Three months. No, I'm not hungry at all. No, no, no. I mean it affects you positively, this diet. Oh, totally, totally. Just when you've got cancer, the nights are kind of long. Yeah. You know.

You start tallying up scores and realizing, oh, you know, ooh, I can see the end of the game. You know, it's the fourth quarter. Wow. And we may not go into overtime yeah so so you start uh like last night i had a bad night i've been doing most of my uh oil hemp oil or the cannabis oil at night now explain to people the idea behind that because i've seen that rick simpson stuff online is he the guy who figured out that uh he's one of them cannabis

oil one of the doctors one doctor no no no he's a funny he's an old farmer from nova scotia and how did he know a right-wing farmer really you know really old canadian a yeah a right-wing farmer like he used to be right wing yeah you know that everybody in canada was right wing kind of you know guns and right and like that you know and what he did uh he had melanoma real bad and so i don't know who turned him on to it but they said hey try something some hash oil put some hash oil on it and he was due into the doctor who's in the documentary uh for an operation to get a most of his jaw or cheek or something well no near his eye it was near his eye the skin around his eye was going to be taken out and so uh he they put the hemp oil on it cured it holy sheared it cured two other

spots on his body too and so he went in with a camera to the doctor, and the doctor threw him out. Why? Because they cured cancer. That's a medical thing. But why would the doctor throw him out? Because if word gets out, they're charging. You know how much they charge. I just paid $280.

But do you think the doctor himself, as a doctor, wouldn't want people to know about that? If he came to the doctor and said. The doctor wouldn't talk to him. The doctor. Really? He went over the test with him and said, you don't have cancer anymore. You know, this is gone. Totally.

Boom, boom, boom. And so he tried to get the conversation going. This is what cured me. And the doctor would not hear it. And the receptionist literally called for security where was this a part of the world this is in up in Canada I could imagine that though this will she well Vancouver is very liberal but there's a lot of parts of Canada they're certainly conservative or at least were that's

amazing thing about these guys so what he did he turned his friends on that had cancer because there's a whole bunch of them up there that had lung cancer, prostate cancer. Now, how do you – it's applied topically if you have a skin cancer? Well, if you've got skin, you apply it topically. Do you eat it as well? You eat it for everything else, like prostrate. So for skin, you don't eat it as well as put it topically?

I imagine you could. You know, I mean, if you like – these guys like these guys because it doesn't make you high right it's not oh it does oh it does it is that's why i do it at night cbd is what doesn't make you high right is that what it is the cannabinoids is it a cbd that doesn't make you high that's yeah it's a thc that gets you alleviates anxiety but you can't separate it oh you can't you know the oral i mean it's the THC that gets you. It alleviates anxiety. But you can't separate it. Oh, you can't. The oil, I mean, it's hash oil. Oh, okay. So it's essentially just hash oil.

It's hash oil. I call it hemp oil. Yeah, that's what everybody's been saying. Oh, that's good. Hash and hemp, same thing. So it is the same thing. So if you take this, it's just like eating a strong edible. Oh, stronger.

So you've got to be very careful. Dude, I've had some of those liquid ones, those little liquid, they come in like a little vial. The lose-a-day? Camp oil. The lose-a-day kind? I don't know who makes it. Where you lose the whole day?

Oh, lose-a-day. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, this is what it's like. I described it. It's like standing in front of a cosmic waterfall, and you're just able to poke your head through to the other side and look at the back behind the waterfall for a little bit and there's another waterfall yeah that's how high you get you get reality shattered i get to stay in bed high it's so self-examinatory it makes me want

to apologize to everybody i've ever met everybody i've ever met i'm I've ever met, I'm so sorry. Whatever I've done, I'm not a bad guy, I swear to God. I get out of bed, you know, I didn't know how to take the medicine, so on the video it showed him take a little dollop on his fingertip. So I did the same thing. He sent me a whole kit of

the oil in these big plastic syringes you know, that you decorate cakes with. It's super hard to make, though, right? Apparently. They make it next door at the school. They just bought an extractor. Cheese it, son.

No, it's... You want people to know where you are? The feds, they're out there, kid. No, they're legally allowed to do it. There's no such thing. There's no such thing. For real. If someone in Washington, D.C. is listening to this, and they decide, let's go and fuck those guys up,

there's no law against that. Do you know that? The federal law supersedes the state law as far as they're concerned. Well, that's my whole... That's what happened to him. That's my whole point of my life now, is to get this shit legal so I don't have to go around corners, sneak around to get my cancer

medication yeah well when I was a kid okay and I listened to your your albums and it was they were albums vinyl you know and who would have ever believed that here would be still in 2012 and all the children

who listen to your shit have now grown up and are still passing ridiculous laws and it's still illegal and there's still reading pharmacies I think my job on earth it really was I was born around the same time that they made it illegal 1938 was when they made it illegal and i was that's when i came out and i've been on the the pot i got turned on when i was 18 by a chinese jazz musician he gave me a lenny bruce record and a joint holy and he said enjoy and i was i didn't know i was you know really scared of the joint because i'd never

i'd heard about it but i never smoked it so i smoked a tiny little bit put it out and laughed my ass off laughed until i was sick until i was literally and then i had my friends come over and we all listened but i never turned my friends onto the joint no i kept it to myself i didn't want to be the guy you know you didn't want to turn them all into junkies? I didn't know where I was going to get another one. And so that... So it wasn't that you were worried you were going to turn them into junkies. No.

It was that it was too good. It was too good. I don't want to... I didn't know where I was going to get another one. I had no dealer. I never even thought of it, you know? And so it lasted. It was the best ever ever it was the best time

it was what was the it was the climate of like back then what year was 56 how rampant was marijuana nothing in canada you could sit in a concert and smoke it no one would know anything really they'd ask you and you'd say, oh, it's Italian tobacco. And they'd go, oh, it smells good. Yeah. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah.

Yeah, you could walk down the street smoking it. And then in the 60s, I remember I was in Vancouver in the 60s and the four, what singing group? There was a singing group, the Four Tops. The Four Tops? I think it was the Four Tops. You know the, I'll be there. Right, right, right.

Four Tops. They were playing at the cave, a little club in the cave. And of course, they're the Four Tops, the black guys from Detroit. So they smoked up a joint before the show and they put the ashtray, put the roach in an ashtray and went and did the show. In the meantime, the maid comes up, finds the the roach in an ashtray and went and did the show. In the meantime the maid comes up, finds the joint, phones the cops, first the front desk, then the cops came and the cops

got the room next door and so when the four tops came back from their gig they bust in the room and they arrested the four tops and a Jewish comedian comedian i forget his name and they took him down there and the tops were telling his story after you know but it didn't last i mean barry gordy or you know motown sent the money or whatever it was and it it went away pretty quick you know but you can get to go away back then yeah there was no tmz no yeah no you could that disappeared but the funny thing was they took him to jail. They took the four tops to jail with the comedian. And the comedian had nothing to do with it. He came up to the room for a drink or something. And the comedian was saying, hey, hey, I'm

not with these guys. Come on. Come on. Look at me. Look at me. Do I look like a four top? I'm not the fifth top. Come on. Sounds like Joe Pesci. Could Joe Pesci play that guy in a movie? In a minute. In a minute. That was very funny. So the climate back then was much more innocent. It was much different.

But then if you got- Where were you living at the time? Well, I was in Calgary when I first got stoned. Calgary. First time. And that's when I quit school. I mean- I'm going there in a couple weeks.

Everything they said about Calgary. Oh, I'll turn you on to something. I like, everything. I'm going there in a couple weeks. Everything they said about Calgary. Oh, I'll turn you on to something. I like Calgary. I've been up there before. Great place. I did the Jack Singer concert. I'm doing two shows there. It's awesome.

Right before the UFC at the Jack Singer concert hall. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah. Last time we did it, we actually had people on the stage. They fucked up with the tickets somehow or another. Oh, so you put them on stage.

Yeah, we put 50 people on stage with us. It was crazy. It was great. It was so nice, man. You didn't even feel weird about it. Yeah, singer. He's a rich guy. Yeah.

All those guys. Fun place. Bellsburg. Yeah, I grew up in Calgary. Oh, yeah. No shit. We should come to the UFC there in a couple weeks. Yeah.

I could hook you up. Yeah. Do you want to go? Well, I'll see how my cancer schedule is. Well, if you feel well and you feel up to it. That's not that. Not that at all. It's just I got to do it to doctors and all that shit.

Now, are you using chemotherapy? No, no, no. You're just using. My cancer is very slow. In fact, it's kind of weird what they say about my cancer. They say, usually we don't tell a guy at your age. Yeah, usually we don't tell a guy. Because by the time the cancer's bad, you'll be dead of some other causes.

No shit. So that's one of the things. But, you know. That's kind of creepy that your doctor would hold that back from you. Well, they do that. Well, how many times do you have to see people die before they get jaded? Yeah, well, you don't have to change your lifestyle. See, I got a straight doctor, and I got a very hip naturopath.

I thought you were going to say a gay doctor. Yeah, the straight doctor. And that's why he wanted to test me eight times. The straight doctor, he's kind of like, hey, whatever you want to do, go ahead. Don't worry about it. Here are some pills. Take these pills. They're very expensive.

But they'll keep your prostate from growing, and it'll keep the cancer cells from growing. And so you'll be okay for a while. Side effects, you might get Alzheimer's from it, but it's down the line too. So my naturopath, he was the opposite. He said, well, yeah, take those pills, but get off them as soon as you can, and here's all this natural stuff you take, like green tea supplements. Not green tea in a glass, but condensed green tea is really good, and there's all sorts of other stuff.

Because it's a strong antioxidant? Yeah. Is that what it is? Yeah. It's all. Now, if you take that. A lot of oil, a lot of fish oil, a lot of krill oil, a lot of good oil. And that's because you keep your bones and everything else oiled.

And the cancer cells can't stick to it. And so they go away. It works that way? Yeah. That's what. Cancer cells will stick to things. Like an oil works that way? Yeah, that's what it is. Cancer cells will stick to things. Like an oiled-up wrestler?

Yeah. No, internally. Oh, internally. Internally. You've got to oil yourself internally. And that's why water. Be very careful with your water intake because that's what happened to me. I wasn't drinking enough water. So you dehydrated all the time?

And so I was water deficient. Yeah. Hydro, what do you call it? would call deficient I would drink tea I drink all this other stuff you know sodas and stuff you know but you gotta really if you work out you got a rehydrate really why I do water yeah with water or coconut juice is really good too coconut water rather that's a lot a lot of electrolytes in it but I went to a doctor recently and I found out that i was three pounds dehydrated because i worked out the night before and i you know i had eaten i thought

i drank enough but he's like you know you can look at when they do like a body mass index thing on you like it's like you're dehydrated yeah yeah and so so for cancer cancer loves dehydrated love you fucked up huh but you see yeah Yeah, they're like, you weakened. Well, figure it out. Your immune system is so busy with everything else. And I'll tell you another. I went to another healer, and he gave me a great tip I'll pass on to you and your listeners. One way to cleanse your liver and your kidneys, which really should be cleansed as much as you can.

I heard it's a blowout weekend with Jack Daniels. That's what I heard. I heard that's the best cleaner. No, that's after. I heard your liver needs a workout. Every now and then you just got to put your liver through an NFL combine. The way you do it, you get a bag of Celtic salt, sea salt. Sea salt?

Celtic sea salt okay it's it's rock salt but it has all other minerals in it too and you get as much a gallon or so of water preferably not distilled but you know whatever spring water spring water is you know pure pure water pure water you know you don't want tap water. Right. And what you do, you put a pinch of seawater in a glass and you drink it. And you drink it. Pinch of salt. Pinch of sea salt in the glass. Drink it down. And drink, try to drink as much as you can with the sea salt.

And the thing is, the salt will make you thirsty. So, in fact, that's why we love salt so much, because salt makes the body thirsty. The body needs water, and the body will do anything it can do to get water. Once you put salt in it. I mean, normally, normally, your body needs water, and so it'll do whatever.

And the salt makes you drink more. And when you put salt in, like, the still water, the fresh spring water, it cleanses your whole body. Now, you could have a, you know, it cleanses your, like I say, it could act like an anemone sometimes. Oh, blasts you out, right? Oh, yeah. It'll cleanse you out. But you should do that at least at least I'm doing at least once a month once a month yeah and you when you define a pinch what we say that

is you think that's like just a tiny sprinkle you don't want put too much in it though right no careful right yeah too much it just it's too much well it isn't it dangerous at a certain point well how much I know about the water the water in the salt. That's why it has to be saltic salt. It can't be iodized or refined in any way. It has to be sea salt because what you're doing, you're putting minerals back into your system, especially back into your kidneys. You see, that's where you're deficient because none of the supermarket foods give you minerals.

That's why we have supplements. You're talking about supplements. We foods give you minerals. Right. You know, that's why we have supplements. You're talking about supplements. We're just getting minerals. That's all we're basically doing. And sea salt is the cheapest, easiest, and nicest way to get your minerals. Well, another thing is a lot of people don't realize that your land that you grow things on, you can't really keep growing things on the same spot forever. No.

Like, you deplete the minerals from the soil. Yeah. And so then your vegetables become mineral deficient. Yeah. And that's why, you know, the leafy vegetables don't look as green and rich. Yeah, yeah. If they don't look like green and rich, they're probably not as healthy for you. And the non-organic fertilizer, you know, that's so bad for the whole system.

What really creeps me out is this whole Monsanto thing, where Monsanto is creating these suicide seeds that, you know, they work once, and then they don't make seeds. Like, you know, if you get a tomato, you can't take a tomato seed out and try to plant that seed. That seed's useless. I love that. They've killed them.

I love what they're doing because what they're doing is they're identifying themselves. It's creeps. You look at it and you go, give me the organic. That's what they did with the coconut. Monsanto was the one that ran the coconut

people out of business. Did you know that? No, I had no idea. Well, the coconut, everybody used coconut oil, and it's the healthiest oil on the planet. I mean, to cook with, to wash with, you know, for your hair. I remember when they said it was bad for you. Remember that? Well, that was Monsanto.

Really? They were saying that the fat would give you heart attacks and clogged up the cholesterol. Bullshit. It's just the opposite, right? It's the opposite. It's really good for clogged up the cholesterol. Bullshit. It's just the opposite, right? It's the opposite. It's really good for you. It's really good for you.

Coconut oil is one of the healthiest things you can eat. I got a great test now because I got a naturopath doctor. And he says, what are you eating? And I name off certain things. And he'll say, don't eat that. Don't eat that. Damn. I said, coconut, eat as much as you want.

Yeah. Coconut is good. Especially't eat that. Damn. I said coconut, eat as much as you want. Yeah. Coconut is good. Especially the coconuts from Thailand. You know, those are the ones that have the most delicious milk. With the white. It's like a really sweet milk. White, silky. Yeah, the Thailand's good.

They're all good. It's all good. They're Filipinos. I mean, that's why the Polynesians, you know, their skin's so beautiful and they got hair. You know, you don't. Such a healthy fruit, too. Eating the actual coconut itself. So good for you. The Polynesians, their skin is so beautiful, and they've got hair. Such a healthy fruit, too. Eating the actual coconut itself, so good for you. And did you know, here's a fact about a coconut that I didn't know about until my artist son-in-law told me.

But the coconut itself is an insecticide. Really? It emits things that kill insects. Huh. The outside? The outside. The whole coconut. The plant itself.

The plant itself. It's an insecticide. It's an insecticide. Wow. And that's one of the reasons that if you use coconut oil, you know, keep the mosquitoes away. No shit. That stuff works? Yeah.

Yeah. I've never heard of that before. Yeah. Does it work as good as off, though? Because off stinks, but that shit works. You know what I mean? I don't want to get kind a bit because I'm being crunchy. No, but the insects, see, the coconut plant itself, it took a few years to develop this,

but they needed a defense against insects and birds. Imagine a coconut shell. What a perfect home that would make yeah for how many you know birds everything yeah but you notice they're they're left alone they got this big leafy thing around it that protects it too you know yeah but the but the plant itself is an insecticide that's pretty cool it's amazing that a coconut exists at all i mean isn't amazing that you get to chop through all this bullshit to get to this delicious center where all this water is? And look at the soil it grows in.

Sand. Sand. Sand. So strange. Yeah. What a strange fucking alien plant. That's so good for you. Yeah, that's so good for you.

So good for you. The most unfortunate thing about Americans is our diet. So many people just are not eating the proper amount of nutrients, vegetables. Well, that explains for the psychotic behavior of people. A little bit. Work is also the culprit. People just go crazy and don't want to work anymore. We don't work, man.

You and I haven't worked in a long time. When you work, you're doing something you don't like, and you're doing it all day. And that's most of us. Most of our country is filled with people that are working well you're fucking tired you're you're surviving yeah you know that's why the uh the immigration thing is such a thing you know yeah because it's just people migrating up where the food is yeah work means food absolutely that's what it is sure and that's's why these immigration laws are kind of ridiculous because, you know, it just puts people in a position where they can be mean to other people. Well, it's a crazy situation anyway. The only reason why it exists at all is because we don't have jetpacks and portable helicopters.

You know what I mean? It's not easy to fly around. So it's not, you know, if everyone had a fucking plane, there would be no countries. It would be ridiculous because you could just go anywhere you want. You know, they would, they would get over the fact they can't control people. You can, you could, you know, they would have to control the airports and then people would rebel, you know, and take the airports back. Everything in America is, is all front. It's all a front. It's all a facade. There's nothing real. You know, like when you get searched.

When 9-11 just happened, I was flying to somewhere, Houston, or flying to Argentina somewhere. But anyway, flew into Miami, okay? You know all the security. They got the bags going through the machines and everything else. Right, right. security they got the bags going through the machines and everything that's okay well miami uh all these flights from the rest of the world they just unload their baggage beside the machines and people just come and pick up their baggage when they're going to the next

next flight or right there in other words it's the third world country. Right. So we're protected everywhere. L.A., New York, we're protected, protected, protected. Then you go down to the butt of the country, Miami. You'd think they would have some protection there? None. None. You could walk. There's a little barrier.

You walk around. Oh, there's my bag over there. Or there's somebody's bag. Or let's put this explosive over there. No one would have are you giving terrorist ideas are you telling them where's a good spot to attack well i'll tell you how to sneak into the country how puerto rico puerto rico yeah yeah how's that you can get a passport in the dominican republic then you you can swim over to, or get dropped off and swim to Puerto Rico.

Right. And then you dress up or whatever, you know, and then you got your passport and your green card and you get on a plane for anywhere in America. Really? Yeah. Is that easy? That easy. You're a mastermind.

You should write books on how to break the law. I know a lot of them, man. But no, I was there. Do you think that there should be no borders? Is that what you think? Do you think people should be able to travel anywhere they want? It's like the pot. People are saying to me, well, if we legalize it, we could tax it.

I said, no, no. Why make work for yourself? Just legalize it. Just eliminate the DEA. No, what you do, you transfer everybody from DEA to Secret Service. They obviously need some corrupt people in there. And you eliminate the DEA. So take the DEA and maybe how about use them for something good?

How about use them for some sort of an educational program? That all they could have the work is they're basically cops. You have to give them another cop job. No, no, they're criminals They're beyond cops. They're not just cops. You feel like the DEA they're total criminals They're total criminals and if you're not you're not in the DEA are criminals. DEA, they're total criminals. They're total criminals. And if you're not, you're not in the DEA. You have to transfer out because you can't have one bad cop. Now, when you say you mean they're really corrupt. They're totally corrupt. We don't hear about the money that, remember all the money they used to find with marijuana?

And now they're saying they're selling more marijuana than ever. We don't hear about the money anymore, do we? We don't hear about the millions of dollars in drug money. That gets confiscated. That gets confiscated sitting in the court until trial. You don't hear about that. What do they do with that money? They split it amongst themselves.

And they either, they take the, you notice it. They don't have to account for it? No. No, like when when for real like if for real they put it in their pocket they split it up a hundred percent there's no doubt about it there's i can i can name i'll name an instant okay um i won't name the guy's name but he's a friend of mine from vancouver and he was down here he's working for the hell's angels i can say that name because people know right and his job was to deliver the the load of bc bud which he drove down in a u-haul trailer right to

a safe house and then he drive home and uh he got just he got got ratted out. Someone ratted him out, you know. Could have been one of the angels too, you know. You never know because they control a lot of the borders up in Canada. Anyway, the DEA arrested him in front of the Grauman Theater. Arrested him, yeah just him, and they handcuffed him and they had the big trailer of weed, which he showed me, he showed me the weed, and then he gets taken to jail. And he's in jail and they won't let him use the phone or anything and all they interrogate him they say where's the safe house so he gave up the safe house and then about maybe two hours later the jailer comes in says okay you can go kicked his ass out of the jail they just let him go

and took the money let him go they took the money. Let him go. They took the money. Took the weed. They took the money and took the weed and just let him go. And let him go. And that's one guy. That's one guy. Is that what's going on now? Yes. That's what these raids are all about?

It's just a money grab? No, no. The raids are for newspapers. It's for the press to let them know so they can get their budget. They get their billion-dollar budget. You know the press to let them know that so they can get their budget they get their billion dollar budget You know what's disturbing is that the money that could be given to them? Rightfully through taxes the money that could be given to the state, you know is is pretty substantial if they may Know I'm gonna really grow it themselves. That's what I'm saying

But you don't need to be able to you don't need to invent a new system We got a system in place. It's called sales tax. Yeah. If you open a store, you pay taxes. And that's all you do. If you want to buy a bag of weed, like you buy a bag of flour, it's the same thing. And you should be able to grow it like you grow fucking tomatoes.

You can grow your own tomatoes. You can. You should be able to grow your own weed. You can. You can. And the only trouble is that because of the greed involved that's why it's still illegal because not only not only the the the people that the hemp uh would replace you know the the forestry you know well that's the most ridiculous thing is that hemp isn't even

psychoactive and it's illegal yeah because of the paper industry and the pharmaceutical industry for the pain relief. There's a show on TV yesterday about the marijuana pain thing. And they can't come up, the pharmaceuticals cannot match pot for what it does. They cannot. And they've tried and tried and tried. They cannot match it. Well, you've got to think that there's plants that we have a symbiotic relationship with and we know that there's a long long relationship that people have to eating cannabis yeah and

we know that eating it where it doesn't even get you high when you just eat the plant doesn't get you high is incredibly good for you that's by the way the the juice people are juicing leaves yeah yeah, yeah. And for cancer. Yeah. And that's what I'm going to, when I find out. And the leaves, you don't smoke the leaves anyway, right? So when you juice. I used to. You used to smoke the leaves? Yes.

But it's not as psychoactive, right? It's not as powerful? There's a thing about sort of like a memory, body memory. So if you're smoking, it's like smoking a bad joint. Or we used to joke about and say this weed was only good for selling to military because then then if they got caught they get tested there's nothing in their blood so they would be okay but no weed I don't think it should be taxed other

than just just decriminalize it. Just leave us alone. And then the economy will blossom. You'd be the guy to answer this. When you hear people say, well, the marijuana of today is not like the marijuana of old. Is that totally true? Or is it what I've read is that most of the marijuana back in the day was not as strong as the shit that's today. But every now and then you get some shit that'll blow your mind. It's just as good as today's.

I'll tell you an analogy that kind of covers it. It's like the 15-foot high diving board, okay? When you're a little kid, that's a long way down. Then when you hit a young boy, ah, this is nothing. I can go 30 feet. Then as you get older and older and older, that 15 feet, finally, you're not even walking up the stairs anymore. It's the same as a pot. A pot has not changed.

It's impossible to change it. It's as strong back then as it is here. But you can still get whack weed today. Sure. I imagine you can. Yeah, you can definitely. I've never had it. You've never had terrible weed

he's had labrador before i've had my share of bad stuff i haven't had bad weed for i can't even i think there's a great difference between um like really crap weed and really oh sure sure how much of it back in the day like when you were doing those cheech and ch weed. How much of it, back in the day, like when you were doing those Cheech and Chong movies, how much of it was high-grade? Was it hard to get high-grade stuff? Not really. No, the Vietnam War took care of all the high-grade. Really?

We were getting Thai stick, Thai weed. And that's like a sativa, right? Oh, a sativa. Yeah, that's the really powerful intellectual weed. Put you on your butt. Put you on your ass. Put you on your ass. But it makes the brain work. I love sativa.

I mean, it's very creative, all the good weed. That's one of the really unfortunate things about the fact that it's illegal, that most people don't even know what the difference is. They don't even know that an indica is much more of a sleepy, sedative sort of a feeling, much more relaxing, but sat sedative sort of a feeling, much more relaxing. But sativa is a totally different trip. It's almost like a totally different drug. Yeah.

It looks the same. It smells similar. But it's a completely different animal. And figure it out. Figure this out, man. I mean, I've got cancer. You can't get any worse than cancer. Right.

And all that weed does for you, it cures, it kills cancer cells. That's amazing. It just blows me away. It's hard to wrap your head around it, really. I mean, it's something that you can bring up every day because it almost makes no sense. You get repetitive after a while because it's so ridiculous that it's illegal. When you stop and look at it, it's like it's a magical plant. You can eat it. It's really good for you.

You smoke it. It gets you high. You can wear it. It makes you the best cloth ever. You can live underneath it. You can make plywood out of it. It's fucking waterproof. It's crazy how good it is. It's probably the best cellulose plant there is. You make plastic out of it.

You can make plastic out of hemp. Healthy plastic. Bi, you make plastic out of it. You can make plastic out of hemp. Healthy plastic, biodegradable plastic out of hemp. Plastic bags that don't clog up the planet. Yeah, people don't realize that plastic can be made from plant matter. It can be made from hemp. One of the reasons why hemp was also made illegal was that it was at the same time where DuPont was coming up with a chemical compound for nylon. For nylon, yeah.

And most ropes up to that date had been made out of hemp. Hemp is an it was edible fiber hemp is the best rope oh by the way do you sell your ropes are they hemp i don't know what the they are you should check it out i should they should be hemp they should be you should try to get them because they're a better guy they're a better grip ropes from a shipyard they have the you want to grip leather anyway the leathers at the end of them so you get it but i like i like that oh you like the grip leather anyway. The leather's at the end of them. Oh. So you can get a grip. But I like that. Oh, you like the fiber?

The rope feel. Yeah, it doesn't slip out of your hand. It's a great workout. Have you done it? Oh, I do it all the time. Do you do battle ropes? Oh, that's awesome, man.

Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. So does my wife, Shelby. Tommy motherfucking Chung throwing down some battle ropes. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I've done it all. Big body movements are so important for health and for your body's actual ability to work and move. Well, that was one of the reasons back in the day when Arnold Schwarzenegger lit up a joint. I said, this is all the proof anybody needs. Here's a guy that's really the best built man in the world. In the world.

Period. Seven times. Yeah. Six, the world. In the world. Period. Seven times. Yeah. Six, seven times. And he's getting high. And here's a guy that he'd spit out something if he thought it had sugar in it or something. He would spit it out if he took a drink or a bite or something.

He's so careful about what he puts in his body. No alcohol. forget all that. But a joint, pass it over to him. He gets high. He must have figured that out when he was young. I wonder when he figured that out. Well, everybody figures out the same way. Everybody asks me, you know, how did you get turned on the pot? No, what kind of drugs do you take? And I you get turned on to pot? No, what kind of drugs do you take? And I say, anything given to me by a naked lady.

I smoked pot only a handful of times in my life, maybe half a dozen, until I was 30. And then when I was 30, a friend of mine got me high, and I had a completely bad perception of the effects of marijuana. I thought it made you lazy. I thought it was just something that sedated you. I thought it was something that made you slow and stupid. And I wasn't interested in that. And even though I had one experience to the contrary,

when I was living with my friend Jimmy Dutilio, and he had a friend that was a big pothead, and we all decided to smoke some pot together. I could never smoke pot. I needed a Jimmy. So we got high, and then I'm like, Jesus Christ, man, I got to drive to a gig. It was like two hours later, still baked out of my fucking head. And I had never gotten high before. Like maybe. And you had to do the gig. Yeah. Maybe two or three other times in my whole life before then. Right. And only usually when I had a couple of drinks in me.

So I have to drive and do this gig, and I am shitting my pants. I'm like, I can't do my comedy high. First of all, the audience is going to know I'm high. I was only 21 or 22, and I had the best set I've ever had up to that point. I was like, this is crazy. I've never been so smooth. Relaxed.

Yeah, relaxed, focused on what I'm actually saying. Totally in the moment. Totally in the moment. I was like, that's incredible. And I was I'm actually saying. Totally in the moment. Totally in the moment. And I was like, that's incredible. And I was like, they can't because of the weed. I was so scared to try it again. I never tried it again. But I remember thinking, like, wow, was it? I was like, dude, you just got lucky, okay?

You could have been, if you went on stage an hour earlier, you would have fucking shit all over yourself on there. Because I was shaky, you know back then I wasn't very good Yeah, so I'm Tom. You're young. Yeah, so I would bomb a lot I would bomb like one out every five times would not go well So I was really not not looking forward to this not working out while I was high But it was the best I'd ever had up to that point. It was crazy Cheech and I when we first got together had up to that point it was crazy cheech and i when we first got together um i had an acting group uh topless bar with the the dancers dancers you know i had them acting and and

topless actors yeah the girls that would go naked you know right and uh i'm thinking of doing one here but it's a lot of work um what's a lot of work? Dealing with the Topless Cross? Dealing with anybody. Well, you're doing a podcast, aren't you? I am, yeah. I'm starting one in September. That's awesome. Yeah, I'm going to start. In fact, you can catch me on at Tommy Chong and Cheech and Chong, all those.

Well, let us know when that's taking place, and we'll tweet it and pump it up and get everybody to listen in. I think that's awesome. What was I saying? I forgot. I forgot too. I forgot. We were talking about bodybuilders smoking marijuana. Obviously not bad for you.

We were basically the company points that we're supposed to be. Did you hear this Dr. Drew shit, man? Dr. Drew got caught. A pharmaceutical company had paid him to encourage use of certain antidepressants as a out of. He got caught? Yeah, he got caught. They gave him $270,000.

something thousand dollars and it was uh he was supposed to uh talk about the the talking points of the positive sexual side effects of wellbutrin because like uh like a girl would call up and say she just got changed her uh her pills to wellbutrin and now she's having like 10 orgasms a day and dr drew like telling that that is one of the possible symptoms. He actually said the talking points. How'd he get busted? I guess the company just lost a big lawsuit. They just lost, they got a $3 billion something judgment against them. So in the process of that that they had to release their paperwork

and in releasing their paperwork apparently dr drew was a recipient of more than a quarter million dollars from them it's scary man i like so what happened i like dr drew man that guy needs a joint you know you get a little crazy he's uptight he's way uptight and he's got a lot of tics you know you notice thoseics. Do you know him personally? Yeah, yeah, I know him. I like him. I like him a lot. I've done his radio show a couple times.

I like him a lot. But he gets silly. He said to me, he said to me, he's having trouble with an ex-jobber. I said, what kind of trouble? He said, well, she's accusing me of sexual harassment. I said, get a lawyer. Dr. Drew. me of sexual harassment i just get a lawyer and so so dr drew so then i i then cheech and i were on the show and and dr drew said to me i took your advice tom i got a lawyer and cheech looked at me like what do you what's going on here fill me in we never did fill him in that's funny i hate to

hear that man but see it's a bummer man that's the American way well it's also guess what everybody needs something to put them in check if you're not doing yoga and meditating and taking some time to yourself you're gonna get caught up in one way or the other the wrong fucking path the the somehow or another you're gonna trip up well you get out when you're captain clean out there wearing a fucking tie every day and pretending you do no evil, that shit, by the way, is going to chew at the back of your brain. You've committed yourself to this

crazy, unreal life where you're not going to get fucked up. You can't do shots with your friends. You can't go to a strip club and go, oh shit, you can't do that. You're not allowed to. You're a different... You're not an honest human. You're not allowed to. You're going to watch my reputation. You're a different, you're not an honest human. You're a creation.

Yeah. Yeah. And a phony friend. And he needs a little fucking, everybody needs a little humbling, like a natural humbling. That's what marijuana does to you. Well, is that going to. It's a little natural humbling. Is that going to take him off his show?

What do you think? I don't know. I mean, hopefully he'll be acquitted. I like him. I hope he didn't do it. I hope it's not true. I hope if it is true, it makes sense. Is there charges? Yeah, I believe they're investigating. I don't know the full't do it. I hope it's not true. I hope if it is true, it makes sense.

Is there charges? Yeah, I believe they're investigating. I don't know the full extent of it. It's just been in the news lately. But like I said, I like Dr. Drew. He's not a bad guy. Me too. It's just that these people, they have this idea that they're protecting people from something.

Here's the stance. It's not just, well, I'm fine with that. If you want to smoke pot, that's what he always says. I'm fine with that. If you want to get high, go get high. This is what I'm saying. I'm saying it can. If you want to smoke pot, that's what he always says. I'm fine with that. If you want to get high, go get high. This is what I'm saying. I'm saying it can change your fucking life, and for the better. It can make you a warmer, more compassionate person.

It makes you closer to your friends and your loved ones. It makes you appreciate your dog more. It makes food taste better. It makes sex feel better. This is ridiculous. The idea that you would just poo-poo it and say, well, if you want to go get high. It's not that, man. It's something that can enhance you.

But you see what he's doing. He's got one foot on the boat, one foot on the shore, and there's a liquor. And he's trying to be a celebrity. Yeah, there's a liquor, what do you call it? Civilization. We're coming out of it. We're coming out of the alcohol civilization. You think so?

You think so? We're coming out of it, yeah. You think it's ever possible to get out of it? It's fun. People like to get drunk. Oh, they like to do shots and everything else. But you look at the movie Ted, and the biggest laugh and the biggest thing

was when the little teddy bear was doing a big bong hit. Yeah, well, that is one thing that is most certainly changing. Yeah. It's becoming more acceptable. Yeah. I mean, when you were doing those albums, like, did you guys get hassled by cops? Yeah. Did it ever become a factor in your life?

We got one hassle. We got arrested in Tampa, Florida. That was where Jim Morrison got arrested for showing his wiener. And who else? Janice Joplin got arrested there. Wasn't Cheech's dad a cop? Yeah, yeah. And so we were doing our show, and we just did our regular show,

but we didn't know there was a $5,000 performance bond posted. And that if the cops were called in for any reason, the promoter would lose the $5,000 bond. And so at the end of the show, we were doing a bit called The Dogs, where Cheech and I were running around on our hands and knees. And Cheech walked over to a cop, and he picked up his hat. The cop was facing out to the audience, in case the audience would riot or something.

I don't know. And that's all he did. And the cop says, that's it. We're arresting Cheech and Chong. And they arrested us and took us to jail and gave us some mug shots. Good mug shots. You like them? Did you use them for anything, like T-shirts?

I think they're on the T-shirts now. Yeah, yeah. They're really good mug shots you like them did you use them for anything like t-shirts i think they're on the t-shirts now yeah yeah they're they're really good mug shots shows two guys but cheech was funny man because we're in this cell first of all we're cheech and chong we just got off the stage 5 000 people you know going crazy next thing you know we're being herded into a holding cell and it was weird it's like wait and going to the green room only it's a holding cell and it was weird like wait and going to the green room only it's a holding cell and and there's all the drugs and everybody there's one old Chicano guy there you know and he asked Cheech in Spanish you know what are you in here for Cheech you know he didn't want to say right we're lifting the cops hat with his teeth so he said drugs man

so the old Chicano in Spanish goes oh tell them a black guy sent it to you ah... tell them a black guy gave it to you that was his thing and so then the cop would come by you know big big uh... like a storm trooper kind of cop would walk by and he didn't give a shit who we were and then there's an old picture and then Cheech and I uh we're talking we're not sitting down because we think we're going to get out of jail real quick but then a lot of time went by and

pretty soon I'm not only sitting but I'm looking for a pillow because I'm tired and there's just all these other and Cheech is still standing around and then the cop walks over and he says to Cheech did you come with me and Cheech goes ah my dad's a cop did I tell you yeah my dad's the LAPD yeah I've been 30 years or you know 20 years it was funny I laughed man that's they separated us and then in a few hours later than me we went that's what we look like is that a trip look what folks are listening this on iTunes we're looking at a video of Cheech and Chong that looks like from the 60s right it's 1974 74 wow it's all black and white. Yeah. Wow, 74. They didn't have color TV in 74?

Yeah, you guys actually have a really good website, CheechandChongFans.com, which just is updated all the time, which I really like. And they posted this recently on there, and there's a lot of different interviews and videos on there. Oh, CheechandChongFans.

Yeah. Oh, I love that. That's very cool. Isn't that cool? Isn't that one of the coolest things about the Internet? Is it fan-created stuff that they make for you? Does that still blow you away? We've taken over the world, man.

We've literally, you know, starting with Egypt, Libya, you know, the Internet, taken over the world. The Internet is a fascinating thing, isn't it? Yeah. Look at this. Yeah, look at this, yeah. Don't you love, like, the fan-generated stuff that they make for you? Yeah. Things like people that put up websites like chichinchongfans.com. Isn't that amazing?

Now that you mentioned it, I got you a present here. These are not-a-pipes. Not-a-pipes? Not-a-pipes. What does that mean? They're a necklace. They're not a pipe. You don't pull the string out.

Oh, it's not a pipe. You don't pull the string out. I thought it was like a type of pipe yeah it's not a pipe you don't pull the string out you don't put the substance in this part here okay you don't do that and you don't light it you don't light it and you don't smoke out of it smoke out of this okay you don't do that because it's not a pipe it's not a pipe it It's not a pipe. It's a necklace. I got it. That's awesome. And it's yours, Joe. I'll bring you one. Oh, thank you, man. I didn't know there was going to be an extra. What animal had to give up its life so I could have this not a pipe?

What is that? It's actually just a piece of... Antler? Driftwood, I found. Oh, it's driftwood. Root, actually. It's off the beach in Vancouver. Oh, really?

Oh, so I don't have to feel bad. That wasn't like a little deer that got shot in the head although it might be like a ted nugent pipe it might be a piece of wood from the tsunami i don't know it might be someone's house it might be a piece of probably some kid's toy just floating around no it's just a it's a premise center cut of a route. Awesome, man. Thank you very much, brother. You're welcome.

I really appreciate it. You're so cool. Thank you very much, man. When is the Cheech and Chong movie coming out? I know you had this animated movie that was... It's done. It's all finished. It's in the can.

And now they're just figuring out a release strategy. It's an animated movie? Yeah. They animated our old bits. That's awesome. Yeah. Wow. It seems like such a good idea,

especially since you do so much work like on The Simpsons and things like that. It's a natural. I mean, it's a natural way to go, too. Can you imagine Chi-Chi Chong just doing voiceover work? Yeah. No more road and this and that road Do you like doing the road Every now and then

Or is it just too much It's getting too much Is that what you've been doing lately Just once in a while Shelby and I My wife and I We went to Denver last month Or two months ago

And before that Cheech and I and Shelby. Well, when you guys got back together again, that was a pretty big resurgence. Oh, big time. Two years, three years. Three years ago? Three years it's been going on. Three years.

And we made a couple million. I remember when you guys announced that you were going to do that. You guys had made up and you finally got back together again. I was like, holy shit. Wow. We had made up before. Before I went to jail together again. I was like, holy shit, wow. We had made up before. Before I went to jail, we were working on a movie. Oh, really?

Oh, that's cool. And then I went to jail. In fact, we kept working on it with Larry Charles, but a new line pulled out. For people that don't know, your story of how you got arrested and wound up doing time is one of the most fucked up stories that sort of in my eyes epitomizes the insanity of the bush administration yeah john ashcroft guy was insane and most people don't know this i mean if you but if you look online john ashcroft singing have you ever seen him sing when the eagle soars like she's never soared before. He's completely batshit crazy.

He covers up the titties, the cement titties. Yeah, cement titties. He made them cover up statues for the first time in the history of that great building. And so people wonder, why weren't you afraid of this guy? Because he's a nutcase, you know? He was completely bonkers. It wasn't my company.

Somebody sent me an album. Some dude from the internet. Whoever you are, dude, I just want to thank you. Thank you so much. I totally don't even remember who the guy was. But he sent me a fucking album. It was an album of John Ashcroft and another guy singing gospel songs. And they were just one more horrific and horrifying than the next.

The more you listen to them, the more you thought of him sweaty in black socks, fucking little boys. There's something going on. There's a darkness on the other side of this fucking coin. This is not coming from a healthy person. This is a crazy form of art you're trying to sell me on. I like it when they went to his hospital bed

when he was sick or something and trying to get him to sign. What was it? What were they trying to get him to when he was sick or something and trying to get him to sign, what was it? What were they trying to get him to sign? A confession or something? No, I think it was okay torture or something. Oh, Ashcroft? Yeah, Ashcroft was the attorney general. He wouldn't do it.

He wouldn't do it. I'm not signing that. He was crazy, man. How about the lady that put me away, Mary Beth Buchanan? What was her deal? She was a cheerleader in a little town in Pennsylvania where the 9-11 plane went down. Yes. And because she was a prosecutor there, that gave her prominence.

And they made her the chief of the prosecution. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, she was like the chief prosecutor. of the prosecution. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, she was like the chief prosecutor. Oh. And the first thing she did was went after the bong companies and Tommy Chong.

And by the way, you weren't even selling the bongs. Your son was selling them. He was making them and selling them, yeah. And you didn't even have anything to do with it. Well, I'd sign them. You'd sign them. I'd sign them. So that was your job, and they went after you.

They went after me. Well, what they did, they went after the company, which was very very funny we got that documentary called aka tommy chong i don't know about it but uh yeah they tried to try to they entrapped us they tried to get us to send the stuff to their place and we wouldn't do it and finally sent an undercover guy into our company and and then next thing you know i'm arrested for for bongs wow but i've melted didn't they i milked the shit out of it it's true right that really gave you a nice boost once you got out of the poke oh shit it gave me wow i'm still doing material yeah still doing well when i was and i bring it up in conversations too you When I was in jail, one time I was with two judges.

Two judges at a dinner party. And we got to talking. And the next thing you know, I'm telling them about jail. And they're kind of giving me that, oh shit, look. Like they shouldn't be talking to me. I shouldn't be listening to this.

Every now and then I'll talk to a square dude about getting high. And you see the look on their face when they're looking for the exit yeah well okay if you want to do it that's what you're into you know i like i'm straight edge yeah i like my scotch i don't mind a little boozing but i don't smoke dope these judges are cool We're friends with them. It's very good to have a judge for a friend. Yeah, you know. Can you help me?

I got all kinds of friends. You must. Pretty funny. Yeah, there's a whole set of us. Different people. You're known as being an outlaw, but it's the silliest law of all time. I'm kind of like a stoner Paris Hilton. Where they like to have me at a party. Everybody, we have Tommy Chong here.

We can all get high now. And he's not wearing underwear. Is it annoying how many people want to get high with you? Well, it keeps me from going to places. I'd like to do the Playboy Mansion pot thing every year, but I can't do it, man. Too many fans. Too many people want to get high with you?

Oh, they want to take pictures and lie and tell me stories. Just swarm on you. And be on their podcast. Yeah, like that's how you're here, man. It is fun being Tommy John. Do you smoke pot with strangers? no me neither if I don't know who you are

it's too much risk sorry I tell people I quit smoking pot and I usually don't I have to really know where the source of the weed is from before I'll accept it

then I'll give it to friends of mine tell them this is where I got this shit it's exactly what I did from before. I'll accept it. Then I'll give it to friends of mine. Tell them, this is where I got this shit. It's exactly what I did. I'm like, there's just certain people that I get high with that I know. But, I mean, it's unfortunate. But I know of one guy that definitely came up to me that was a cop in Cleveland.

I'm positive. I just knew something was going on. He was asking me where I could get DMT. And the way he was asking, he said, we had a crew cut on you. cut I look like a train yeah he did MMA and I'm looking at this dude and I'm like you want what strange guy that looks like a cop asked me where to get illegal drugs I went talking about I once had two cops work their ass off for me it was funny I had a nightclub in Canada yeah where what each name met and then I had two day clubs in Canada, where Chechnya met. And then I had two nightclubs, and then one got closed down, and so they sold the building.

So then I moved. I had a back room, you know, so I was fixing up a back room to take over the other club. And next thing I know, I got two, a man and a girl, with headbands. They come upstairs, and they're like they're not hippies by no means the headbands look like a costume look like they're going trick-or-treating like this is how they dress yes so he said so so what's going on up here I said I'm just putting the club together you need some help I said

yeah actually I do and so okay so So they're helping, you know. What were you thinking at this time? I'm looking at them thinking, well, I could use the help. Who knows? I'm not going to pay them anything, you know. Maybe let them in the club later. Right. Pray, you know.

So they're moving tables and washing floors. Wow, that's so weird. They just show up and start working. Really good, yeah, yeah. And they're working. And good workers, too. You know? And the more I look at them, the more I think, these aren't hippies.

Because the hippies will hide behind a wall to see if, oh, they're working. Oh, okay, I'm out of here. Yeah. You know? So they worked. And then we had a little break, you know? And we're sitting around talking. So I said, where are you from?

Oh, they're from Saskatchewan. You've been out here long? Oh, a couple of days. So have you ever got high? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I get high all the time. I said, well, ever done acid? He said, yeah. Oh, yeah. I love acid. I said, well, tell me about your first acid trip. The guy goes, I don't remember he said I said just a minute I gotta go to the bathroom I went to the bathroom I did a little dance they're cops they're cops they're fucking cops that's hilarious I went back I said well let's get to work we got a lot of work to do here so you just put them to work say scrub scrubbed the floor, man. I had them. They were fucking,

those headbands were soaking wet with sweat, man. That's hilarious. I worked their ass off. And then I got on the phone. I phoned everybody I knew. You know, because we used to sell, the door lady used to sell weed right at the door. Right.

That's the kind of club it was. So then the club filled up, and they stayed the whole time. They didn't go home and change or anything they got their little headbands on or did they change no i think they did change they went home they said okay we'll see you back later then they come sat together and they look like recruits they look like recruits i mean they were so so so out of place and i told everybody and so everybody would walk by them like they were on display. And they'd just walk by and look at the cops. Look at that. And walk by.

That is hilarious. It was. So everybody kept an eye on them. And if you wanted to smoke weed, you just made sure you knew where the cops were? Yeah. Yeah. Well, first of all, you don't do anything. You know, they're cops.

Right. So no one does anything. So no one did anything. No one did anything. Just stay clear. And the lady, you you know all of a sudden that was the cleanest club in in town so now at the end did you ever let them know that you knew there were cops oh no no no no no no don't give that i just would how'd you end the night well

they just left they just left they couldn't make a connection and they knew they got spotted you know you know i'm cool people are cool but there's a lot of people that he's, they're fucking cops, man. Oh, you imagine how paranoid they would have been if you got them high? Oh.

Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. I never thought of that. I'm kind of glad though because I didn't want to get arrested, you know, for trying.

Yeah, but what if, what if you made them smoke weed first? What if you said something like, listen, man, I got this thing. I wonder what they would do.

Like, I don't know you, so if I don't know you, you got to smoke the weed first. And then the guy smokes weed, and you're like, I'll smoke the weed later, but you got to smoke the weed first. Yeah. Can you imagine what that would be like? Yeah, you get them high? Get them high as fuck. And especially if they don't get high.

Yeah. But they didn't test guys' blood and shit back then, did they? No, they didn't know how to. Now they test people who work at UPS. Now you got to p and a i was i was in jail with a bunch of ups guys they got caught yeah they were the jamaican connection oh they were bringing it over from black guys all black guys and they're all the ups yeah fedex why why else did you want to work so hard for UPS? The whole connection. That's what I'm saying.

That's why I just legalize this shit. We can figure out how to grow it, pack it, move it. Well, we're suppressed, and we're just accepting the fact that we're suppressed. It's people, they don't realize how much of a suppression it really is. Welcome to the slave world of not world of color yet that's that's exactly what pot really turned everybody into we we got turned into people of color

make mexicans blacks and that's why they call the marijuana the deficit or they're smuggling him to cross the border right they named it there's a wild mexican tobacco right now no mero never wanted to slang for right they named it as a wild Mexican tobacco right it hasn't it no marijuana just slang for pot that's all I thought it was originally slang for a wild Mexican tobacco could be yeah that's what I thought it was but that could be horseshit too and I could be but didn't that that was one the ways William Randolph Hearst had actually made it illegal was telling people that Mexicans

and blacks were taking it you're not making this up but they were actually stories in the newspaper in the Hearst publications that said, there's a new drug, it's called marijuana, and these Mexicans and blacks are taking it, and they're fucking all the white women. Yeah, makes them horny for white women. Holy shit. They used the same argument with heroin and cocaine,

except the cocaine and heroin was also the Chinese opium. See, they've just made a faulty connection, but their logic is sound. At the bottom end of it is everybody wants to fuck white women, so they just attributed everybody wanting to fuck white women to all sorts of shit. Vitamin C makes you want to fuck white women. Look, they're eating oranges and fucking these girls.

That was my line for years, you know, because when I was a musician, I ended up in a black band. Right. And I played for Motown, wrote songs, and I tell people on stage, I got so black, I ended up marrying a white woman. Was that where marijuana was most prominent in the early days? Was it in the jazz culture? The jazz. Reaper.

Yeah. How about stick? A T. How would theyaper yeah have a stick a tea how would they get a stick of tea how are they getting it oh puerto ricans probably i don't know you know it came up mexico i mean if you're in la you know any any chicano on the street corner right would sell you anything you could get a pound for ten dollars or something or two dollars you know really yeah you could a lot of a lot of it would be dirt you know but oh yeah put some rocks in there no they do everything back in the day and then and then the the dealers or the guys would break it down and roll little pinners little tiny joints and sell them for a buck a piece wow and they

barely got you high right just nice just nice especially if you're a musician you know you don't want to you know you don't want to be incoherent you know yeah take a couple of hits oh just get that edge yeah that's exactly what it is you can definitely go too deep though yeah and isn't it funny i've never heard heroin addicts say that I've never heard cocaine I you see that I'm heroin addicts you ever talk to someone who's in the middle of heroin they love it oh you just love it it's a weird feeling to think that there's something that can make you feel so good but it's so bad for you well what it is this is, this is my definition of a heroin high.

It's really you've died. That's the feeling of death. You've had it? No. No. But that's what I think it is. This is why they go back to it all the time. Because for that few seconds, because basically it is a few seconds.

It gets less and less as you get older you know as you get your body becomes immune to it then it becomes uh what do they call it chasing the dragon oh yeah yeah well you never get it you never get enough you never get enough that first time but the first time that that warmness that comes over you it's that it's that feeling to me it's it's a feeling of what Michael Jackson was looking for. He was looking for that feeling. Right. And that's what heroin addicts want.

They want that peaceful, calm, gentle, sweet. Whoa, everything makes sense. The notes are so big, you can just touch them. And when you're making love, there's ecstasy after ecstasy it just goes on and on and on but the second or third time your body starts you know create you need more and more and more in other words your body shuts down because it is a poison it really is a poison and what a weird poison it wants to get into your system and return, it gives you unbelievable feelings of love as it breaks your body down. Yeah.

Is it that, or is it just that it stimulates these unbelievable feelings of love, and they force your body to do things that are totally unnatural because of these chemicals in the system? And then the downside is you crash hard afterwards. Well, the downside. And you need it again to balance out. The downside, you get sick. Yeah. You literally get sick. You get cramps. You throw up. You, the downside. You need it again to balance out. The downside, you get sick. Yeah. You literally get sick.

You get cramps. You throw up. You get nauseous. Your body is going through all kinds of changes. I had a friend that came to visit me in L.A., and I didn't know it at the time, but when he came here, he was trying to kick it. So as he got to my house, he was sick for like a whole week. Yeah.

The dude never got out of bed, just laid around all day. Yeah. He had the flu. Yeah. Wouldn't tell me what was wrong with him but i mean that's what he did that's how he kicked it yeah so it was a terrible thing to watch right in jail more people were oxycontin yeah oh yeah they're filled the whole jail was filled with them yeah i got goat when i was in jail so they give you this pure and all, some kind of shit for it. And mine got cured real fast, and I had a whole shitload of medicine. Really?

And the guy, the pill freak across the way, he goes, hey, you want to sell that? You want to sell that? No, you can have it, man. Oh, hey, thank you, man. Thank you. How hard is it to get drugs in jail? Well, the trouble with drugs, you can get anything in jail, but you get tested if you're a target, you know, moving me.

Right. I got offered a joint every day. Really? And I got tested almost every day. Do you think the people were trying to set you up? Oh, totally. Yeah. Totally.

That was their job. Right. They got nothing else to do let's with tommy chong you know let's get a headliner do here how bad was uh was jail what was the experience like it was good like going to camp you know it was a camp it was like boy scouts or army cadets i was an army cadet so it was like going to army cadet camp with old people you know they had me in an old dormitory but it was a what do you call a chalk line around the perimeter and you couldn't step over that chalk line or you get tased you get yelled at you know hey get your ass over there

what are you doing over there and but actually it was it was like a spiritual, for me it turned into a spiritual retreat. Because I took some books in there, including the Bible, and I really started a search for, yeah, I'm here. Might as well, it's a monastery, might as well use it. Right, yeah. And so I did. So I did, I read a lot. How long were you in jail for?

Nine months. Nine months. I'll tell you how long nine months is. Those tubes of toothpaste, the big ones? Three. Three? Yeah. Wow.

That's a long time. That's a long fucking time. Doesn't it? It seems like one will last forever, doesn't it? Yeah. I went through three of them. That's a long fucking time. Yeah.

It's almost a year of life. Brushing my teeth every day. It wasn't to brush your teeth to get something bad out of your mouth. It's constantly blowing, guys. Bought a toothpaste. Now the ass eating. Want to stay healthy. That's funny.

I got hit on one time. One time? One time. Actually, I never got, not in jail, but I never got hit on once in jail. Really? No, two. Did you see any rape? I saw the barber was gay.

The barber? The barber, the guy who cut hair. How much did it cost to watch? Was he an inmate or an employee? He was an inmate. Everybody's an inmate. There's no employee. People who work there, right.

The employees are the guards that have to wear their uniform in the scorching hot hot sun and like the river choir you know one of those things and we're laying out there getting suntan and the guards are walking around every once in a while i say could you bring me some suntan lotion please the guards said what oh never mind never mind i thought you were someone else let's have fun with them were they nice nice to you ever, the guards? Oh, no, they were real nice. In fact, they had a law, they had a rule, Tommy Chong, no pitchers, but Tommy Chong rule. And the first day I was there, a guy, a guard named Gonzalez, next thing you know, he's in my cubicle.

Hey, Chong, I'm a big fan. I love you guys. I'd go back, blah, blah, blah. Wow. And so then I was on the phone. The first time I got, I wasn I was on the phone first time I got I wasn't allowed on the phone for two weeks and then I finally got on the phone I get phone my wife you know and we're talking she's how is it nice not bad a guard

came by my cubicle and he's real nice you know big fan and so then hung up the phone and five minutes later they were listening on the phone chong report to central command control chong so i go down to command control and i said all right who was the guard that came said hello to you and he says i don't know they all look alike to me you know was he was he mexican was he did i never never really saw his face Then they gave up on me on that one Wow Yeah, they're looking for snitches Jails are run entirely by snitches

They have a snitch culture Really? Yeah, that's why a lot of guys get a lot of time And what they do the jails out you can bargain with the ones with a lot of time we'll knock off the time if you really if you give up people that's ridiculous that seems like that should not be fair that's cheating the whole you're gonna coerce people in to do things the whole jail systems cheating well the whole fact that it's privatized yes That's terrifying, isn't it?

It is. And the jails are really run by inmates. You know, I mean, the guards have some control, but they're, especially the camps. I mean, if there's a hint of violence, you're out of there. And if you even look like you want to be

violent, you know, they'll get you out of there. Because they had old women guards, you know, people that, you know, weren't going to hurt anybody. Right. You know, they were your guards walking around with their uniforms and stuff on. But I got into the Indian Sweat Lodge Society, and that took a weekend. You know, it starts Saturday and then sweats Saturday and then have to clean up the place Sunday. And you do this while in jail?

Yeah, we had Indian grounds. What? And it faced away. At the jail? At the jail, in the camp. They still do. It's mandated that the Native American Indians have their form of worship. Really?

And their form of worship is a sweat lodge. So every jail has a sweat lodge? Every federal prison in America. Wow. That is fascinating. They had to go to court to do it. And some are better than others, and some are very bare bones. But we had a phenomenal place.

The guy that had been in there, I don't know how many years, took care of the grounds, maybe 15 years, something like that. But he gathered rocks. There's a desert. It's a desert. So he got rocks, and he had little fences made. And then he had an area there for the sweat lodge itself. It was all packed earth.

It's like a teepee, you know? Right, right. or a Hogan and then they covered ours was covered with plastic and rain stuff you know and then the center then they had big bonfire next to it that's what really attracted me was a bonfire because we had fire in prison right right that's not her crazy all weekend and what they would do they leave you really attracted me was the bonfire. We had fire in prison. Right, right. That's unheard of. That's crazy. All weekend. And what they would do, they'd leave us alone.

Every weekend. Wow. I'll be an Indian like that. In a minute. First of all, I was not an Indian. How stupid is it we still use the term Indian? I know. I mean, God damn, that's dumb.

The last, what were they, the last Chinese men. One huge mistake from 1492, and we're still calling them Indians. And the guy that did it was sent you a piece of shit that's a month we celebrate the day Columbus Day he's a goddamn serial killer yeah they did horrific homes we hear about what his soldiers did to the children of Native Americans sir dashing babies heads on bra oh there's no stories. Just bloodbath. Yeah.

Yeah, so the Native Americans. And there was maybe a Hapa one in our camp. In fact, his name. I forgot his name. It'll come to me. Anyway, he was the head of the thing. He was an old biker, ex-biker, had been incarcerated most of his life.

And David Aiello, David Aiello, he wore a headband. When you join the Sweat Lodge Society, you're allowed to wear headbands. And so like a gang thing, you know. And the headband came really low around his eyes. And he wouldn't talk to anybody. And he worked in his Indian grounds, period. That's all he had to do. That's badass.

So he wasn't even really doing time. No. He was doing a different kind of time. Once you get that, because the Indian grounds faced away from the prison. So it was like you're on the grounds, and you're looking right out into the desert. And the desert was a magical place. The desert had packs of wild dogs we were close to bakersfield and field mile you know maybe 15 20 miles from bakersfield

and people would drop off puppies and unwanted dogs or you know just strays and just kick them out into the desert and the dogs packed up and the leader of this one pack was a big rottweiler holy shit and and and they had everything from little poodles to big-ass rottweilers to german shepherds all kinds of what's the one dog the vicious looking one anyway short hair doberman yeah there's a doberman and and what they would do there's a shitload of wild rabbits out in Taft. And at night they would come on the lawns, like hundreds, probably thousands of rabbits would come out and feed. And the dogs would jack them.

Well, the dogs, they never come to the camp at all. They would never even come close. But what they would do, we watched them from the Indian grounds. There was ramble bushes, you know, clumps of thorny bushes. And the dogs would chase the rabbit into the bush. And then the little poodle would go in and boot them out. Really? And the big ones would be waiting at the exit.

So they had a whole strategy. Oh, they had a strategy. Man, they were so brilliant. And we tried. And we also had wild ground squirrels. And you would feed them by hand. And the ground squirrels, a whole, almost as many ground squirrels as there were prisoners. And we'd walk around this track and take the food that they tried to feed us and feed it to the ground squirrels. And the ground squirrels got fat. One got so fat, couldn't get back down in his hole. And then to keep the ground squirrel population down, hawks, they had these beautiful hawks way up in the light tower.

And they would sit there and they'd watch the ground squirrels and every once in a while the ground squirrels would be looking up and they always had a lookout and they'd do some kind of whistle or something if the hawks were coming down and then they'd go into their holes wow and we we fed them until they got so fat one got so fat and and the the i hung out with all the bikers, you know, the old Hell's Angel types and the old bikers. That was my set. And we're sitting around and they would play cards and smoke cigarettes outside the dorm. And one of the bikers was an electrician. And part of his job was keeping all the lights working. And one of the bikers was an electrician.

And part of his job was keeping all the lights working. And the lights where they had the nest was flickering off. I guess the nest got tied up with some of the wires. And so he had to crawl way up, I don't know, 40, 50 feet up to the light tower. And he got up there and he says he found what do we call it i forget the the ground the fat ground squirrel fatty they found him dead up there yeah he couldn't get in his hole so hot and one of the americanized yeah one of the bikers one of the bikers you heard the story and he looked at the tower and he goes, ain't no way in hell that ground squirrel crawled all the way up there.

And he was serious. Oh, my God. He was serious. Oh, man. That guy is put on this earth to dig holes. There was some comedy in prison. I mean, that was just one of them. Are you friends with anybody from jail?

Everybody. Yeah? Everybody. Yeah? Everybody. You stay in touch? Yeah. One guy, he's a caddy for Jeff Overton. He's a professional golfer. He'd watch TV and watch every once in a while you see Jeff Overton.

And Eric Larson, he was one of the first guys I met when I went there he was he was doing time for cocaine and what happened he was just a caddy and he was just behind but the dealer got busted and so the dealer the cops told the dealer give us a name and we'll let you go and so she could the only name she knew was Eric Larson because he was Mark Kalkabeki's caddy at the time. And he was the only famous one. And so Eric fought it because he was just a buyer. He wasn't a dealer. He wasn't distributing or nothing like that. And so they told him, if you fight it, you go away 14 years.

And he won the first case. Oh, my God. They refiled the charges. What? The next day. They refiled the charges. Why? Charging with something else.

Because the feds are assholes. They want to get it done. They want to get it done. They want to get you. They get you. And that's the way the whole drug culture is. Jail is full of it. And so he ended up doing 14 years oh my god and his only crime was buying a couple of bags of coke for for other golfers that's so sad but anyway i i met him and he was

at the time he was brilliant guy he's got two college degrees when he was in in prison he was in there for 12 years it's so fucking sad he went to school and and he and he took advantage of it he learned how to grow grass and he had a garden he grew his own garden and then he ended up he tried to get me to work out there with him but my time was too short and but i ended up going out to the garden all the time anyway and he would cook for us at night in a microwave. And I had the best meals. I swear to God. Yeah. All fresh garden-grown vegetables.

No shit. It was great. It was great. And every once in a while, we'd take our- 12 fucking years, man. Whoever did that is evil. Oh, yeah. They belong in jail.

Florida. Anybody that was a part of that, they belong locked up. They should be removed. I helped Eric out because when I met him, he was very bitter, as you can imagine. That's fucking wrong. He not only went to jail, but he went to the toughest prisons out there. And he did rough time for about five years, the roughest time ever. And when I met him know he was very bitter and so i started

counseling him a little bit you know and tell him you know hey you know you can't let prison eat you up like it's just amazing that someone could do something like that to him for nothing yeah for a personal choice issue well the the dealer the dealer could have saved his ass and said you know why did she turn him in she's a piece of shit yeah exactly she just say i you know bite the bullet and take your time she should rot away but i i i eventually got to eric and then i made friends with the drug counselor oh really and so drug yeah big friends i remember when you got out man i was listening to this interview and it made me sad because they were testing you and you couldn't get high so you would like uh yeah you put yourself in the state of mind and you can actually even like give yourself the munchies you were saying oh yeah yeah it's all mental you can you can

reenact that feeling anytime that's why Cheech and Chong are so important to uh a lot of our people because you just mention her name and all of a sudden everybody flashes back to when they're high losing and all of a sudden you got a whole audience there wasn't that many people from that era that were defined by marijuana like you guys were i mean you guys are the definitive like i know people that would say let's go chichichanga yeah that's what they say like you know when they want to go get high they'd say let's go cheech and chong and everybody knew exactly what they were talking about absolutely yeah there was no compromise we weren't guys hey let's get him high you know he'll do some funny you know no we that's what i wanted when i wrote the uh when chichi i wrote the up in smoke

that's exactly what what i had in mind in fact every every movie I did, I said, I'm not going to waste a bit of screen time on anything unless it has to do with pot. And then we got offered Corsican Brothers. And Cheech, at that time, Cheech was ready to split. He was ready to leave. And Cheech says, well, I don't want to do another pot movie. So I said, well, why don't we just make this one a non-pot movie? And okay. So we did. No pot in it at all.

And it's a lot of people's favorite movies. But we reached a point where just being Cheech and Chong was all we needed to be. We didn't have this movie joint or anything. And that's the way it is be. Right. You know, we didn't have to smoke a joint or anything. And that's what it is now. Yeah, that's what it is now. You know, like when I get introduced, it's like a title, you know. This is Tommy Chong of Cheech and Chong.

Do you still ever run into people that don't want to, like especially professional people, that don't want to be associated with pot? Actors, singing musicians. Oh oh yeah oh yeah yeah yeah there's a shitload of people depends on which way the wind's blowing you know but with me oh yeah there's there's oh listen saturday night live you ever wonder why chichi chong i've never hosted saturday night live why is that lauren michne Michaels does not like Cheech and Chong. Really? Why does he not? Is he conservative?

We came up when Aykroyd and Belushi were together. And Aykroyd and Belushi caused him so much grief. But he couldn't fire them because they were the stars. Right. But he never had control of those guys and Belushi was a big Chong Cheech and Chong fan big time and I guess Aykroyd was too but Belushi was he was he was like a fan right right right from the get-go he he started in fact he was with Second City and he kept they're trying

to do an album because Cheech and Chong didn't know right and blues and the producer kept saying uh yeah that's two cheech and chong two cheech that's funny yeah they recently had a parody of you guys on saturday night yeah and that kind of kind of got me because why didn't they have us right i mean we we were available what was the parody can you play it uh what's his name um is this it brian yeah i think it what's the what's the code the quarterback that won last year uh the brother i don't know i don't know manning one of the mannings peyton man pot drug humor the pair starred in several feature films throughout the 1970s. But did you know that Cheech and Chong initially had a third member?

It's true. Tonight, we show you the original cuts of their films, with the original lineup. Let's take a look at 1978's Up in Smoke. We gotta get to the concert, man. Even if we gotta speed. Hey, you got speed, man? Did you guys see Donny Marie last night?

It was a hoot. I didn't mean speed for me. I meant speed for the car, man. You give your car speed? It's heavy, man. Oh, that's nothing, man. My cousin Paco made a lawnmower that runs on Maui Waui. Is that story true?

Sometimes I can't even tell with you, Cheech. Don't know me joke, Richard. Hey, did I tell you guys who's in town? Greg Taylor. Remember? I told you about him. He and I went to camp together. That's great, Richard.

You want to get stoned? Yeah, man, let's get toasty. Pass. No thanks. Enjoy, man. All right. No, thanks. Yeah, join me. All right. No, I better not, friends.

I have a scholarship to Indiana University. I cannot be around drugs. Would you mind pulling over? Yeah, sure thing, Richard. Right up here is great. Thanks. Yeah, see you, Richard. Yeah, goodbye, Richard.

That was funny. Yeah, but why didn't No million, no... That was funny. Yeah, but why didn't they use Teach and Chalk? Well, they could use it for something else, but it wouldn't work for that because then we'd have to go back in time. No, that's true. But I mean, I think just out of, you know, respect for the culture, you know, they should have had us on there.

Yeah, you've never been on there once. Never once. That's ridiculous. Never once. How dare you? I mean, that show is... Britney Spears, they on there. Yeah, you've never been on there once. Never once. That's ridiculous. How dare he? Britney Spears, they'll have all these Peyton Manning or whatever. In my opinion, that show is always too missed for me to give it enough.

There's some hits for sure, but it's so hit and miss, but so much mess that I'm not willing to invest any time into it. It's hard. It's the hardest form of entertainment to do a live, sort of a sketch comedy show once a week yeah it's such a crap shoot as to whether or not things are going to actually be funny well they got no time they got no time to make it funny yeah you say i got an idea we don't have time boom yeah yeah they have to hustle through things and some things get past you like what the fuck kind of thinking was going on there? That's what kind of bothered me when we started doing concerts lately, some of the concerts.

When I started, I kind of got back into the music for a hot second. What kind of music? You know, rock. It was all about, okay, you guys, you've got 15 minutes. Get on, let's go. I've got some backstage goof telling you, hurry up, hurry up got 15 minutes. Get on, let's go. I've got some backstage goof telling you. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. Why were they telling you when to do it?

Well, you had other... People with you? Yeah, other acts going on. So they're trying to get everybody on. Right. And then certain acts, if they're stars, they're in their trailer, they're not coming out. Right. But any act they can bully, you know, if they're stars, they're in their trailer, they're not coming out. Right.

But any act they can bully, you know, then they would. I just didn't. See these like music festivals? Yeah. Is that what it is? Yeah. Yeah. This is a few years ago.

I got both my sons. One's a bass player, one's a drummer. And I put a little thing together, you know, a little music bit together. Uh-huh. Just the three of us and uh... was good for one summer you know a lot of fun but the music you know so it's a i'd you know we we one thing about comedy you know we we command

you know we're out there it's our stage yeah you know i don't like sharing stages yeah well it's hard when you have a vision of what you want to accomplish and then somebody else does. And the key to being in a band, I guess, is figuring out how to compromise and making as many people happy as possible while still getting out some fragment or portion of your creative vision. But it's certainly much easier to get out your full creative vision by yourself.

I love it. I love it. You know, I thought about it now,, now, especially now, you know, because I got Cheech and I, you know, we finished our touring and that. And so I was playing around with the idea of, you know, putting a band together. But then I think about the hassles. Right.

In fact, I'd rather just drop down, you know. I'd like to, when, you know, Shelby and I were out there alone, or just being alone, you know. I don't mind that at all. I like it when Shelby and I were out there alone, or just being alone. I don't mind that at all. I like it. Yeah, it's a lot easier to do whatever you want to do and not have to answer to anybody. Mind trips. That's what you're doing with people.

Like I put the sweat lodge in the show, and the first time I did it, this club owner came running backstage and screaming at my wife. What's he doing? what's he doing what's he doing he's been talking about rocks for 15 minutes the club owner was yelling at your wife yeah where was this this is a Craig Kansas City oh that crazy fuck yeah Beetlejuice yeah you guys are real character man yeah what's he doing up there he's talking

about rocks yeah yeah yeah great yeah he sounds he does sound like beetlejuice doesn't he yeah well that's the kind of club that's that's the kind of dates i did when i was in denver man when i was in denver i don't know but i don't even remember smoking i don't think i did remember smoking i don't think i did i did five shows and not one was like the other i did five totally different shows how come i just could do it you just got the audience going yeah and denver is a stony town once i got them going i just never never got back onto the script right and then when my wife and i which we we do a set bit when we hit the set bit we literally got standing ovations really yeah wow that was i was the greatest tie and then we sold merch after and met everybody it was like old days you know wow because there was a time when we used to bring a case of bongs with us you know so so what I did I sold these not a pipes

those things yeah yeah yeah the necklaces I had I grabbed a bunch I didn't know something something told me yeah take it you know because we're going up with cheats is responding everything you know but confined you know it's Cheech and Chong. Do you find it that there's certain spots in the country where you're more welcomed

or they connect with you or they're more into pot humor? Yeah, well, Denver for sure. Denver for sure, right? Denver. Denver, isn't marijuana decriminalized in the city?

And then they have medical marijuana, so they have dispensaries. I don't think think I don't know if they called broad Stradham or what but there's a whole street they even got a system of what do you call naming the the clubs you know like this is a B and C I guess oh you mean like rating the rating Rating them, yeah. Really? Yeah.

Like the town has something like that? Yeah, the city, yeah. Yeah, man. It's very accepted there. It's a fucking great town. I love Colorado, man. I'm going back there August 10th, I think I've got a show in Denver, whatever that Friday is.

I can't wait to get back there. I think there's something. It's my opinion. But when you grow up in a place like Denver, where it's a city, but it's also in face of some of the most staggering

mother nature. When you look at those mountains, the Rocky Mountains are a motherfucker. And if you're in Denver, I remember we were at a radio station once and it was high up in this office building. And we're sitting there on the 20th floor whatever the fuck it was looking out there and you see the rocky mountains like god damn son would you ever get tired of looking at that that's the goddamn rocky mountains i grew up in calgary so yeah so all about the rocky

mountains i think when you see mountains and shit like that i think it puts you in a more mellow sort of uh place more humbling yeah it puts you in proportion yeah yeah yeah yeah you're not the ocean does the same thing yeah in the desert yeah desert i don't know if the desert as much as makes you want to fuck people to death and cut them up and leave them in a hole all the wars are being fought in the desert yeah so it sucks there you know i watched this thing in the taliban where Taliban shot some woman because they accused her of adultery. And all I could think of is this whole situation sucks.

Where they live sucks. The weather sucks. The culture sucks. This whole situation sucks. This would not happen if it was Brazil. In Brazil, you don't accuse a woman of adultery. You just deal with it and move on, bitch. Because girls are hot as fuck and they're everywhere.

Just get over it. But in Afghanistan, it's such a fucking struggle. Well, it's because of the inbreeding, I think. Maybe. It's also because that's where the oldest culture comes from. They're like the Talonians of the world is what it's like. If everything started there, Mesopotamia, Babylon,

Iraq, Sumer, that's what they think. They think that everything started there. Garden of Eden. Yeah., Iraq, Sumer. That's what they think. They think that everything started there. Garden of Eden. Yeah. Well, if that was real, right? Whatever that is, the analogy of that is. But that, from that area. That's where they wrote it. That's where that whole. The stories came from. They also had stories that supposedly

come from even earlier that they were like retold. So, you know, but my point is like that's the spot where it all began. Everybody agrees to that. So if that's the spot where it all began, the people that are still there. is like that's the spot where it all began everybody agrees to that So if that's a spot where it all began the little bit of still there. We're writing yeah, we're Writing I mean, that's that's how we got the great buildings in her. It was all thanks to the Arabs. Yeah sure Persians algebra. Yes, it wasn't for algebra Yeah, the Arabs and the Muslims in general came up with some amazing

discoveries. It's just what's going on now is this radical offshoot of it that seems to have been accepted and they backed everybody in the corner where if you accept Islam at all you have to be on the side of these radical motherfuckers. There's this connection in a lot of people's minds to that, you know, that we don't even see Muslims. We just see radical Muslims. That's all anybody sees. And, like, this is a religion that will not stop until this happens.

And it just, it becomes this weird form of brainwashing on our part and almost, like, reinforcing reality on their part. The more we talk about them willing to blow themselves up, I guarantee you the more they're willing to blow themselves up. The more we talk about how terrified we are of that, the more they're going to employ those tactics. Absolutely. Absolutely.

That's the whole secret. Yeah. Life is like a workout. If you look at the weights and say, Oh, God, that's heavy. I'll never be able to do that. You're not going to be able to work out. Right. But if you walk in there and go, Whoa that that's heavy oh i'll never be able to do that you're not going to be able to work out right but if you walk in there you go whoa that's going to help me you know what the bottom translation is the universe does not like bitches that's what it is

the universe frowns upon bitches that's what it is the universe doesn't want you gotta you gotta get your shit together bitch there's a right way every minute of every day you're taking a decision you're making you're carving a path you're choosing to say certain things and go certain places and act certain ways you know you know which way you could go well what it is it's a better way it's a vibe you see people don't really realize the kind of vibe they're putting out you know that's why this pedophiles and you know you know they've had a fucked up life and so they pursuing it out there

but for some reason you get a crowd of people also you can there's one weirdo in there if it the vibe you know you've got that by all year well one angry heckler could fuck up a whole crowd of three hundred people if you ever had that i have a one person is angry for no reason yelling at you know what is going on with you man yeah idiot sent sometimes it could be about something you say like

I some woman got super mad because I was doing this joke about that the idea being that you shouldn't there's a big difference between having a man molesting a young girl or young boy and a woman molesting a young boy because it's if the chicks hot like a woman's hot we barely care you know you barely care if you hear that like some seven-year-old got if you walked in and there's a seven-year-old getting blown by like the hottest girl in the world and he was like you know like raising his fist in triumph and i uh i saw this woman go that's it that's it and she gets up and she's like fuck this i'm not listening to this this is fucking terrible it's

disgusting and as she was saying it she's like walking through the club just like poisoning the atmosphere of the club i got lucky that i turned it into a pod i was like listen i just want to point out that there was no this is a work of fiction and no real babies were blown during the making of any of this material. So I started going on this explanation about it, about how in a Stephen King movie, Carrie can light things on fire with her eyes, right? But you're telling me that some seven-year-old kid wouldn't like getting his dick sucked? In my fiction, that's much more likely. It's very, very, very touchy.

Yeah, it's funny. A lot of people, she's probably went through some weird thing. A lot of peopley yeah because a lot of a lot of a lot of people probably she's probably went through some some weird thing a lot of people i think a lot of people i think you know i dodged a bullet twice in my youth from uh being molested once when i was like eight once when i was like 13 i dodged two bullets i gotta think a lot of people get hit a lot of people get fragged well i i got well kind of molested when i was learning how to swim really they had free swimming lessons at the ymca the only problem was or the only thing was that we didn't need bathing suits oh jesus christ there were literally 20 20 young guys with no bathing suit oh my god

swimming learning how to swim oh my god and with the ymca guys okay one bathing suit Oh my god Swimming Learning how to swim Oh my god And the YMCA guys Okay one more time Oh my god Okay boys I'll be here again Okay Now you're doing good

So he's just watching you Or is he touching No no Just Just watching Teaching you how to swim Wow What a crazy asshole

But what it was I mean Why Did he stand behind the podium And beat off While you guys were swimming I never really See at the time you know you you don't you don't you're innocent yeah you're totally innocent yeah yeah and then then another time i i was i would never got really hit on i was

playing basketball at the y in hollywood and um there's a locker room there no this is in New York is in New York City and there's a locker and this guy comes up all right you wanna catch a buzz later and I looked around to see who was talking to you know he said no you I'm talking to you do you want to catch a buzz later? I says, I don't think so. And then he reaches in his locker and pulls out the thickest pair of glasses I've ever seen. He puts them on. He looks at me and goes, oh, never mind. I'm sorry.

Oh, that's hilarious. Do you think that is he thought you were someone else or he found out what you really looked like? And he's like, damn, I could do better than this dude. He's like, I'm not ready to cash in my tag this early. I'm still going to go out hunting. Yeah, yeah. I think that's what it was. Never mind.

Thank you. Sorry. Wrong guy. So how often are you going out and doing stand-up now? And how can people see you? We got one more gig in... Do you ever do the Ice House? Hmm? You should do the Ice House.

You ever do the Ice House? Teach and I started here. Did you really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, Bob Stane used to come. Never paid us. He paid us all.

He did pay us. Wasn't much. 50 bucks, I think, for both of us. This is back in 19... 70. What was $50 worth back then? It was like $100, $500? For Cheech and I?

Yeah. It was a lot of money. Was it $50? I'm just trying to put it in perspective. Well, we weren't working. Right. But what was it worth today with the inflation? Let's see.

What was it? I don't know. Would you say a couple hundred bucks? Probably $5 with the inflation? Oh, let's see. What was again? I don't know. Could you say like a couple hundred bars five five? No, no, what was it? Oh, so it's five times more. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so 250 bucks. Yeah. Oh, yeah Okay, so every time you work you got to eat and pay your rent Yeah, a little bit of rent a little bit of food What was like our month's rent an apartment back but we but But Lily Tomlin used to come and try out all their material here. Oh, really? And does Steve Martin work here?

Yeah, Steve Martin. Yeah, David Letterman's contract is on the wall from him working here. He got pissed off at Cheech and Chong because after we made it, when we made it big, we mentioned every club but the Ice House. How come you didn't mention the Ice House? I forgot about it fucking pasadena man yeah we the troubadour we mentioned the troubadour right a few other clubs this is my favorite club in the country and then then the ice house i mean comedy wise we we killed

he he had a clean policy for years Did he really? Oh yeah That's hilarious Because now Joey Diaz does every Wednesday Who? Do you know Joey Diaz? Joey Diaz He's a good friend of ours He's on the podcast all the time I know

Stand up comedian Cuban guy Oh I'm thinking of Nick Diaz No that's the fighter Yeah the fighter I know what Diaz Yeah No Joey Diaz is

Probably the funniest guy on the planet Is he? Yeah he's my friend. I've been friends with him for like 10 years. I don't know anybody that makes me laugh more than that guy. More than 10 years, shit. Me and Joey have been friends for like 15, 16 years. He's a stand-up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's hilarious. Ridiculous. Ridiculous pothead, too. Oh, of course. Every day. He's going to start doing, Joey's going to start doing a new Ustream show two or three days a week

By himself At six o'clock in the morning Because he gets up at six And he smokes weed And listens to music And then he goes for a walk And he'll go to his dispensary And he'll buy his weed

And he's going to document it all On Ustream So every morning You know How many days a week He chooses to do this He's going to do At least twice he says

And he's going to get up At six o'clock in the morning He goes I'm going to put on A fucking lecture For these cocksuckers This is how he talks he goes i want to play them the right music i'm gonna get that u-stream working he goes every day fuck it i'm up anyway i'm up anyway six o'clock oh my god and he works here all the time oh yeah yeah all the time which is hilarious he's so dirty he's like one of the dirtiest guys ever yeah and he's like a regular here well stain uh bob at

first you know like lizzie tomlin and all the street laughing people you know they would come and make an appearance here right it was very very straight you know that's funny well times changed you know well cheech and chong well we did our act you know we never held back did anybody ever try to censor you? Not really. Lately, lately we were at a casino in Bilixi. In Mississippi? In Mississippi. And we're just about to do the show, you know, doing a sound check. Got my son working the roadie. And we're setting the mics up and that.

And then the guy comes up. He's old by the way. I just want to remind you, you know, the chief is really religious, and so you've got to really watch your language. We looked at him, what? He said, yeah, you've got to watch your language. I said, well, what happens if we don't? He said, well, he can pull the plug on you. He's been known to do that. Wow. So I said, wow, okay. So then I went and told Cheech, or the guy came in the dressing room, and I told Cheech, I said, Cheech, the guy wants us to do a clean show. Cheech says, fuck that, man. What motherfucker wants to do a clean show? Tell me. Is this a motherfucker?

Fuck that. I ain't doing no fucking clean joke. So what happened? He knew Cheech was joking. What we did, we cut down my wife's show. Because she gets a little out there. She gets graphic? Well, she gets a little out there.

That would piss him off. Cheech and John, we never did anything. So it's a sexual thing he's worried about? No, it was just the, what do you call the the producer right right but what was the content that they were worried about was it bad words bad words what it was he's sucking up to the chief right you know what it was he never told the chief who cheech and chong really would oh seeing that now at the last moment last morning he knew but the chief didn't know they did I guess how the fuck can you be a chief and not know who Cheech and Chong is well how dare he yeah but anyway we did never heard although

Cheech did a fucking leader is that she stood do one one bit where where a couple of people got up left really really yeah what was the bit yeah it was about his favorite director and he turned out to be Roman Polanski Rodriguez Paul Rodriguez I know Robert Robert Rodriguez Robert Rodriguez because he had great dialogue in his movie pussy pussy pussy you got you got hairy pussy, no pussy, hairy, you know. Right. Ball pussy, black pussy, yellow pussy, any kind of pussy. Get it right here.

That was it. A couple of pussies got up. We've heard enough. Enough. It's funny how people in comedy clubs want to change your act. Well, they like to, they want to drive the car well they like to they want to drive the car yeah they just want to have it over you sure you know they don't like the fact that you get all the attention the worst is when you uh get booked into a club and then once you get to especially

of your like when i was uh you know i was like middling i couldn't i wasn't really making real money and i would get sent to these clubs in the middle of nowhere and you would would get there, and they would have their own standards they would impose on you. I would get off stage like, I don't know if anybody talked to you about the language, but you can't talk like that. I'm like, you better fucking fire me, because this is what I'm doing. This is what I do. There's only one way to make an audience, okay? And to get people to come back and see you, you've got to do what you actually do. Because if you pretend that, I got booked with my act.

This is my act. I'm going to do it. So there was like a, she had to call the booking agent. And the booking agent was like, that's what I booked. And this is, you know, it's like, and she was just a manager. Just a manager that decided she was going to be a censor. It wasn't, her name wasn't Connie, was it? No, it was somewhere in New York.

It was one of those fucking comedy clubs in the middle of nowhere. I don't even remember where it was, what part of New York it was somewhere in New York. It was one of those fucking comedy clubs in the middle of nowhere. I don't even remember where it was, what part of New York it was. One of those weird little shitty clubs. But that's the thing that a lot of comics have to go through. Because club owners, you know, they don't, I mean, you don't want to take a chance and have some asshole come in and run all your customers out with his foul humor. Well, I mean, you got to listen to your homework. Yeah.

Find out who you're booking on that stage. Exactly. I a tape the tape had the same material that i was doing they back then that's how you get it you have to get a guy to make a vhs tape yeah you could make copies of it with two vhs recorders connected together and you always had a friend who knew how to do that and he could edit it it was the edits were terrible and it was like a big fuzzy pause in between sets that you did in different places so you'd send it out to a club and they go oh that guy's got a good act all right i'll book them yeah and that's how you got work you have to send tapes out that would be a big part of your job trying to get go places and send tapes out when when you guys were we had we had albums that we sent out that's what we did that's what was? That's what got people to come and see you guys?

Oh, yeah. Did you have to do radio or anything back in those days? Tons of radio. Yeah? I still do radio. To let people know you're in town? I love doing radio. How often are you on Twitter?

Cheech doesn't like it. I try to be, you know, every day, but... Cheech doesn't like radio? No. No? How come? He's, you know, lazy. He's lazy?

Is that what it is? Yeah, basically. Does he like acting more than performing? He loves acting. He loves getting paid for, you know, sitting around. Just talk, pretend. Sitting around, yeah. Is that what it is?

He's not a threat to Mencia or anybody. Oh, on stage you mean? Yeah. I'm not even sure what that means. see or anybody oh on stage means yeah I'm not even sure what that means so he doesn't like he's like if it's not he's not like going up on weeknights and working no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no MC to Latin kings of comedy right right that's about it what was the did you ever ask him what was like working with Don Johnson for those years a little bit I bet teaching that teaching I got a different we got a I got a walk on you know tiptoes around him oh really yeah is it because you guys just work

together for so long yes no there is a few bad decisions made that we don't talk about you know you know when when we broke up the the bond was broken you know yeah i mean right now i mean there's still memories you know it's almost like a like an ex-wife you know get together for the kids right that's weird man yeah what what what drove you guys apart was it ego was it money no it was fear of not working i think fear of not working yeah well teach as soon as he got offered offered something on his own he took it yeah was it that or was it that just he just wanted to be independent wanted to be able to make his own money i think a lot of it he didn't like the fact that i was the alpha dog you know you were the guy who wrote everything well i directed for sure right you know i directed a lot of decisions i made all the decisions you know one of the

decisions i made uh we got offered a big television contract back in the back in the day you know contract back in the back in the day you know and I turned it down you know big money I I don't know how I did it but I did it I just said what were they trying to get you to do is a sitcom well it ended up being Chico and the man Wow in fact there was a one that Chico and the man was one of our bits Wow Jimmy Coleman Jimmy Comax followed us around Followed us around For Four months Chico and the man Was one of your bits Yeah How did it go

What was it like Well we did a A bit called Old man in the park And Gano would come up With a With a Comb

He was a real tough guy Right And the old guy And him would have a Little argument You know And I would I would insult him pretty

so they just copied that and turned it into a sitcom he got an old man albert and he got chico freddie prince and they turned it into a sitcom yeah and for folks who don't know freddie prince for a one small but brief moment in time was one of the biggest stars in the country he was huge television star. Huge. And went crazy and committed suicide. Yeah, yeah. And then they tried to do a show without him.

And that's one of the reasons that I turned down television. Because I don't like losing control. Right. I found nothing works. You know, if I don't have control of something, we don't sell anything and nothing works. Well, it's not going to be your vision. It's going to be someone's idea of what your vision should be, and that's not the same thing. What it is, it's someone's vision that doesn't have an offer.

You know, it's a production company that goes, hey, I got a great idea. Right. You do the teaching or this. And they're the ones who put up the money, so they want money and da-da-da-da. And we try to sell a bunch of stuff lately, and no one's interested. Yeah. I mean, because no is the best filter in this town. You know, just say no.

Right. And if the guy wants it bad enough, he'll keep at it until you say yes. Right. But when they say no to Cheech and Chong, it's like, oh, okay, next. Let's go somewhere else. Yeah, you guys are icons. Yeah. You know, together, you, next. Let's go somewhere else. Yeah, you guys are icons. You know, together,

you guys doing a comedy show is no fail. It's like, if you are a respectable stoner and Cheech and Chong coming in Denver, you gotta go see them. Yeah,

but what we have to do, like if it's on television, we can't have it watered down. Right, right, right. We can't be. Why go on television?

Just stick with the internet, man. Do something like this. Have a Cheech and Chong Ustream show. You guys fucking fill arenas every day of the week you do do like a YouTube show or used to didn't you or like a like a blog type video yeah I did I did a lot of that yeah I that those were really

interesting you stopped doing them or yeah well we went on tour and then I couldn't get the mics working that's hilarious you know hilarious. You know, we don't have a... My son actually set it up and we started off. Where are you doing your podcast out of? My house. You're going to do it out of your house? Are you setting up like a studio there? Yeah, I got it set up.

It's all set up. Yeah? Ready to go. Why are you going to wait until September? Well, my son gets back. Oh, you want to do it with him? I'm going to wait until he gets back and then kind of build up the... Anticipation for it?

Yeah, the anticipation for it. Yeah, the anticipation. Oh, that's a good idea. You're clever. Look at you, you marketing genius. We never thought about that. We just started out just fucking goofing on it. I've never even tried to promote this thing. This thing became this by itself.

But you could tell. Look where it is. It's a room. No. What do you need? A comedy club. Yeah, that's all you do need. A room with fucking cool shit on the wall

and some mannequins that look like Brian's ex-girlfriend. And a toilet that flushes. And zombies. Yeah, by the way, we're getting a bidet here, dude. We're getting one of those electronic crazy things. When it all happens, I'll mention it on the podcast. It's a company that's offered to send us one of those cool Japanese butthole cleaning toilets.

Oh, I'm so psyched. I was in Tokyo in the bathroom. I couldn't get out of them. They're wonderful. They're heated. It squirts water right in your asshole and you just don't want to get up. Did you beat off? No, I just sat there for like

10 minutes just letting it do that. I beat off once. It was fantastic. It's warm water tickling your butthole yeah why is that so terrible how could it be so bad feel so good that's what i have to say well the japanese are into into pleasure too they feel like you've figured out a lot of shit about martial arts too and they make a badass car yeah they are super clean people like they they just like they have to take showers multiple times they evolved on a totally different line than then Western America it's very fascinating to me when I look at

Japanese culture I think it's amazing the samurai culture the fact that there's so many martial arts like keto jiu-jitsu karate all these different things come out of Japan you know so so much comes out of Japan so it's an amazing place well Japan Japan will take it and refine it. Yeah. They'll take somebody else's martial arts. They took it from India. Cars.

And they'll refine it into something. The Prius. I drive a Prius. All my friends. How dare you, you hippie. Driving Priuses. It's very hippie. Yeah.

Everybody loves those things. Yeah. They're the perfect. Don't give a shit about a car, a car you can have. You know, just there it is. It's a car. It gets me from here to there, and it's easy on gas, and you can put my golf club in there. But it doesn't sound like a Shelby Mustang.

You know what I'm talking about? Tommy Chong, when you fire up a Shelby GT500, and you hear that. You can shift your own gears. you feel like a fucking man again you feel alive only trouble is all you see in your future is traffic school yeah you know you can't be an asshole with it but even just regular driving when you have a car like a mustang i tried to get you know customize my prius and so so I had it lowered. Really? I had it on hydraulics.

Wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose? All the way to the hydraulics would make the gas mileage terrible. No, no, forget gas. I had dual pipes. Did you really have all this stuff? Yeah. You really had hydraulics put in there? I had the taillights blacked out.

You murdered that bitch. and then I ended up Getting arrested getting a ticket really for everything Well for the taillights for sure and then I had to go to court and the guy was a fan And he said we'll come back at one o'clock, you know, and so I come back and when I thought, you know The judges coming back and I'll say thank you goodbye I had to stand up in front of the thing how do you plead and and get a 10 get a 10 dollar fine damn yeah 10 dollars wait wait for everybody 10 dollars because your car had tinted uh brake lights brake lights yeah yeah silly bitch so I'm sorry I just took it right back to what it was. No more statement.

But was it better looking once you did it? Oh, it was phenomenal. It looked so good. Because I could lower it right onto the ground. Have you ever seen the Lotus car that they made out of hemp? Yeah. The hemp Lotus? I think I have. No, I don't.

We showed pictures of it on this podcast before. Lotus made a car. By the way, the the first car you know that was made out of hemp henry ford's first body panels made out of hemp and there's videos of him hitting it with a hammer yeah and it bounces up people don't really believe like half the shit i say because i'm obviously no scientist and i'm half retarded but if you just watch some of the videos of what what's capable and possible with the hemp that's constructed into body panels, it's amazing that they don't do it today, to this day.

Well, they had the electric car, too. I wonder how much it would cost to get... This is a good question. I'm going to put this out there to the universe. How much would it cost to get a Corvette and replace all those fiberglass body panels with hemp and have it in the exact same shape. I don't know. I would be willing to spend a lot of money.

You've got to go to the can, man. Dude, do it, please. I'd be willing to spend a lot of money on that. Go to the can, take a leak, and then we'll come back and wrap this up. I just want to thank everyone that came to that Doug Benson taping that we did the other day. I mean, people brought Olive Garden breadsticks to me and people stole

Olive Garden menus and it's just ridiculous. Beautiful. How fun was Vegas? Oh, it was great. How fun was Dice? Dice, that was another thing. I completely forgot about that.

We went to go see Dice and I was really kind of in the back of my head thinking, all right, this is not going to be as good, I don't think. You know, I... Why would you think that?

I just, I don't know. For some reason, I just didn't think like he was going to be as good as in my head. Don't say that. Well, I'm't think. Why would you think that? I don't know. For some reason, I just didn't think he was going to be as good as in my head. Well, I'm just being honest. I understand you being honest. He blew me away.

Oh, you didn't think I was going to be good, huh? This fucking guy. His jokes per minute, he's just like, bam, bam, bam, bam. Red group over here. Whatever the fuck his name is. This cocksucker no I mean like there were certain people

you're you know after a while you're like I wonder if they still have it you know and that's just just what I kind of thought never doubted for a moment

yeah we would have it never doubted I've always been a Dice Clay fan watching when I used to work at the comedy store I used to love

to watch him get angry and yell at people and he was Dice Mean you know he keeps he brings it up to this day because I always say, I love when dice mean comes out. Because he would fucking torture people. And he's in character, so the shit he says is so crazy.

His character is, in my opinion, one of the funniest characters in the history of comedy. And a lot of people misunderstand it. A lot of people get mad at him and say, no, this is misogynism, this is racism, this is how he really thinks. You couldn't be further from the truth. You couldn't be more wrong.

He's a combination of reality and fiction. He's a human walking amalgamage. What is the word? Amalgamism? Quigley. Amalgamism. No. What is the word? Amalgamize? What the hell is the word? Human amalgamism? No is the word amalgamized when you amalgamize what is the hell what the hell is the word a human amalgamism no that's not the word you're using two bigger words yeah well

whatever it is he's a combination of reality and his creation yeah he's he's dice clay he and when you watch him you understand if you go and watch like a full like hour set he doesn't mean what he's saying. We came backstage after the show. Who is this? Dice Clay. Oh, yeah. We came backstage

after the show and he was so happy that we were there. It came with Jim Norton and Anthony Cumia from Opium Anthropia. Robert Kelly. Robert Kelly

and Brian and Sam Roberts. And so we all came backstage and we were telling him how great it was and everything. He was so happy. But he was like, he tells you his formula.

He goes, I do no research. He goes, I'm wrong about everything I say. But I say it with such conviction. He knows what he's doing. It's his creation. And it was fucking awesome. We had a great time. That was some of the hardest I've laughed at stand-up comedy in a while.

He's got that great New York attitude. It's an attitude. Yeah. Well, he's perfected that. He's got that great New York attitude. It's an attitude. Yeah. Well, he's perfected that. He's exaggerated it. He's so goofy. The gangster types, they'll do it every time. I remember one time I was in Banff.

We were at some convention or something. And the mountains are beautiful. Where's Banff? Banff, Alberta. It's in the Rocky Mountains, Lake Denver, in the middle of the ski area. And we're standing outside, and this New York guy looks at us, and he goes,

yeah, ain't nature a cocksucker? I bet it was Joey Diaz. He's never been to Canada. That's exactly what he said. I mean, that's it. That is what a guy from New York would say too yeah there's that style of humor that's really not like anywhere else that New York

attitude it's a very different sort of it's endearing to a certain extent irritating and retarded you know for the most part but there's parts of it like when Dice nails it that's so endearing that's the greatest thing about it Zach it was really, like when Dice nails it, that's so endearing. That's the greatest thing about it, Zach. It was really fun.

It was funny. I loved Dice, man. You know, when he did the movie, I was so sad. Oh, God. It wasn't good. He had such a shot. He had a shot. Yeah.

But all he had to do was get a Dice Clay to direct it. Right, right, right. That's all he needed. Well, that was also while the protests were going on. People were protesting his act. Women's group were protesting. Gays were protesting. Well, yeah, no, but you can't go backwards.

You know, you can't take that shit back. Edge, yeah, take the edge back. What you got to do is make him your friend, like you do, you know. Well, he didn't have the internet back then, so you needed someone to put you in something. You needed someone to, you know, unless you were doing could just concerts yeah but

I mean he had it he's a good actor yeah fine actor I saw him in another movie a little low-budget movie you played a serious role well that's why he's such a good comic he's got he's got performance chops yeah yeah yeah he's got time great time it was really fun we saw him at the Riviera which is also like stepping into a time capsule because the Riviera has which is also like stepping into a time capsule. Because the Riviera has photos on the wall from the 1950s. This is in Vegas? Yeah, Vegas.

At the top of the Riv. Yeah, the theater at the top. He does a bunch of shows there, apparently. He does it all the time. I worked there with my wife. Oh, did you? Yeah, Shelby. And Shelby, you know, she's a, I invented her, basically.

Right. You know, she's never been on stage. You made her get on stage? No, I wanted her to come on the road with me, you know, and she goes, That's awesome. I said, I'll put you in the show, because she was taking acting. And so she said, okay, right away, you know, get her a job, she'll do it. So she did five minutes, you know, introduced me.

Did you write her material? Yeah, I wrote quite a bit of her stuff, you know. And I got her going. Wow. And she's doing good. Now she's happening. And so we're doing club after club, and we're doing really good, and people are loving her and that.

And so we get gigged, booked with Bobcat. Bobcat Goldthwait? Yeah, Bobcat Goldthwait. And Bobcat had just dumped his wife for a young girl. And Shelby mentioned it in her show. Like she's just doing her show. Right. And she said, oh, yeah, Bobcat, you got the new wife.

Something, blah, blah, blah. Bobcat almost had a miscarriage. He was literally crying to me. Crying? Yeah. In tears? He said, did you hear what your wife said to me, said about me? And I looked at him.

I said, am I, this is the top of the river. I said, am I in the wrong club or something? This is a comedy club. This is what you do. This is what you do. This is what you do. It's just a new wife, right? Why is that bad? Why is it bad to have a new wife? If you're in love with someone enough to marry him, why is it bad? What it was is that Bobcat has never really considered himself a comic.

What? No. He's a movie director or something. He's never really considered himself. But he was for a long time. Oh, he was. He did his act. But it was a character. Right. But I'm pretty sure he still does stand-up.

And now he's done. Probably does. I think he got over that character. And now he does himself. Yeah. We had him on the podcast. No, no. He's very talented and all that.

But he cried like a little fucking baby. You know, and he wanted me. What do you want me to do? Well, what year was this? In the 90s. Yeah, see, he hadn't gotten on the internet yet. He was a baby. Like all of us.

Oh, maybe. Children of the times. Yeah. I mean, we all needed to be educated. I mean, you get sensitive. Yeah. You know, in a comedy club. I mean, anybody else, you know, you take your hits you get sensitive yeah you know in a comedy club i mean anybody else you

know you you take your right your hits with everybody else you know that is true yeah yeah but he was and craig especially at a comic craig was there same place from kansas no no no this was in in vegas at the river yeah at the top of the and he was there you're crazy killing hookers And he was there? Was he killing hookers? What was he doing? Well, he came with some weird chick. Yeah.

But Bobcat. And Bobcat was, oh, he was so mad. Well, some comics do wear their heart in their sleeve. A lot of us got into comedy because we're fucked up in the first place. That's a big percentage. Yeah. So I give him a mulligan for the 90s. You got it right.

I really enjoyed having him on the podcast too. Although I still have not seen God Bless America. Did you see it yet, Brian? No, I haven't. Which one? He just directed a new movie that people are almost unanimously praising. Yeah, he's very talented. I've heard over and over again that it's amazing. He's a very talented guy.

I've got to check it out, but it seems kind of dark. I don't want him to bum me out. Isn't it funny how that is now? Have you seen Ted? No, I haven't. Go see it. It's so fun. I mean, going there expecting to laugh.

I'm sure. Good laughs. Well, I love Seth MacFarlane. He's got a great attitude I like that dude I like listening to him when does interviews I like I like his attitude you know I met him once he was super nice and what's a guy the star Marky Mark Wahlberg he's really good actor he's getting a little bit too anal for me though you know yeah well I'm weird he's getting weird yeah where with you I don't know he's talking about you know he was doing the movie and he memorizes all his lines right he comes prepared right you know I mean

like so probably when was what was the context of him saying this well he had a lot of dialogue the name and girls right and and he could rattle it off with no problem you know whereas most actors you know and and he he nailed the piece randy gotorek told me an awesome story this past weekend about uh jean-claude van damme and ordinary i wouldn't tell it but it just seems like this one you can get away with yeah and especially randy randy was saying that uh jean-claude would come in the set after partying all night i would forget his line and he would hold his hands up like this like this like to tell them to give him his line yeah apparently just just still partying jean-claude vat damn still going at it hard

you gotta love it you know showing up to the set just hammered that's his line well that's what i'm talking about what like walbert all of a sudden he's turned into this super professional perfect guy yeah he's he's evolving i don't know and i'm happier this way maybe i don't know i don't know i like him in things he did a really really really good job yeah but i think i think he's getting a little bit too too anal yeah you need to get him high is that what you're saying you want Yeah. Need to get them high. Is that what you're saying? You want to get Marky Mark high? Something. And then he... He said, like his kids...

Well, he'll never take his kids to see this Ted, you know? Really? Yeah. Because it's too graphic? Because Ted's potty mouth. Uh-huh. Right. I don't know.

Is he trying to change his image or something? Maybe it's his wife. Maybe his wife's real conservative. Who knows? Maybe he's trying to change his image. Maybe he's just a businessman. He's making a business decision. Whoa!

Tommy Chong just insinuated that Mark Wahlberg may in fact be a bitch. I can't believe you just went there. We need to get you high again. Whatever you smoked before the show wore off. I like Ted, though. The teddy for it i think the sequel is going to be even a better one because you think yeah yeah i think that's the way to i think the next one's

just gonna be well as long as they keep the same director yeah yeah because i think they'll think they'll find more weird things for the teddy bear to do yeah totally and uh i can't wait to see it i can't wait that's good and i'm looking forward to that mila mila kunis oh my god so beautiful like that huh well i worked with her for years on that 70 show oh yeah that's right what was it like doing that show i got a mila connection now did you enjoy it i really enjoyed it did anybody on that show ever try to convert you into Scientology? Not really, no. Not really? No.

I mean, they helped me with some medical things. I was hacking and coughing. Scientology helped you with Scientology? No, Danny. Danny, he got me into the vitamin C drip. Have you ever heard of that? Is Danny a Scientologist? Yeah.

Yeah, and so is Laura Prepon, right? She's a Scientologist too? Yeah, yeah. It's interesting how many actors are Scientologists, isn't it? Well, it's like acting school, you know, when you think about it. Yeah. It's the ultimate acting school. They teach you how to act in public.

Really? Is that what it is? And how to control people. Yeah. That's why they stare at people. Did you ever get involved in it? A little bit. We had a series of managers when we were coming up trying to make it. This one guy, we didn't know he was a Scientology until he got us booked in this club, or this hall in Hollywood.

Before we'd go on stage, every time Cheech would have to go take a dump. Cheech comes back and he goes, this is a weird place, man. You know what they got written on the wall there? I was thrown into the mal stream of the universe. Instead of here I sit broken hearted, it's the mal stream of the universe and it's all this Scientology bullshit. Wow. While you're taking a dump.

Yeah. And so we went on stage and they're all staring at us. They stare. They stare. They just stare at you. Stepford Wives, right? They kind of, I guess they like the show. We worked there a couple of times.

Wow. It was fun, though. Well, listen, man, you got to let us know when the animated movie comes out, so we'll tweet the shit out of it. Yeah. Let us know when your podcast comes out. It's going to be called a podcast. Podcast.

There was already a podcast. Did you know that? It doesn't matter. I used to do one. You used to do a podcast. Did you smoke it? It was called a podcast, but the girl I did it with was an actress. She's she's like you know what i need to probably maybe name it

name it something else we call it a pop cast this is ruining my image being connected with something awesome and i'm not comfortable with that it may limit me from lying and bullshitting pretending to be someone i'm not make it make some nervous listen man you've been a hero to the marijuana movement and the comedy movement and everything for fucking decades man it's an honor to do a podcast with you when i was a little kid listening to those albums and at my parents house i never would imagine that we'd be able to do this so thank you very much for doing it's my pleasure and did i tell you i got cancer yeah you did we went over that that's my new thing to ride on now.

That's your new hook? I'm going to ride that. That's your hook? I'm going to ride that forever. The cancer hook's a good hook. Yeah, it is. It is. People love you.

How long have I got to go see the guys? You might be going soon. You're going to be around for a while. Oh, well. Keep laughing and eating healthy. Apparently, if I get the right finger up my butt, I'll be okay. I think we got that. If you need help. Brian has a magic finger.

Show me your magic finger, Brian. No. This show's over. Okay. A creepy ending. Thank you to Onnit.com O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, and now the new whole sports fitness aspect to it we have in the company with kettlebells and battle ropes and

protein powders coming soon and all the questions about all the different supplements go to onnit.com, that's O-N-N-I-T and use the code name Rogan you'll get 10% off all supplements doesn't count for weight lifting shit though, because the margins on these are very low, it's as cheap as we can

possibly sell them to send cannonballs through the fucking mail, so go check that out and thanks to the Fleshlight, go to joer go check that out. And thanks to the Fleshlight. Go to JoeRogan.net. Click on the link for the Fleshlight. Use the code name Rogan and save yourself 15% off the number one sex toy for men. And thanks to Alienware Computers for constantly supporting Mixed Martial Arts. That's why we're using them for this podcast.

Alienware isn't even a sponsor of the podcast. We just want to thank them. Two different guys at this past UFC were sponsored by Alienware. Omega Medoff, and I forget the other guy's name. I think that's how you say the guy's name. Khabib. The guy had a crazy long-ass Russian name, and he beat Glacian Tebow. Great fighter. And thanks to Alienware on MMA.

Go to Alienware MMA on Twitter. Yeah, Alienware MMA on Twitter yeah Alienware MMA on Twitter Tommy Chong on Twitter Red Band on Twitter I'm Joe Rogan and we'll see you tomorrow with Kevin Pereira and then Wednesday

we got Adam Kokesh from Adam vs. the Man and we also have a Wednesday Death Squad show in the main room it's going to be a super show it's going to be one of the bigger shows and then who's on it?

who's on it? I can't tell you it's a secret you can tell me it's a secret is Joe Rogan going to be on it? Joe Rogan's on it that's on it i can't tell you it's a secret you can tell me it's a secret is joe rogan gonna be on it joe rogan that's right you dirty bitches and joe rogan you might actually also be at comic-con with us right i will friday friday uh tickets are on sale at americancomedyco.com or desk squad.tv we're gonna be there uh thursday and friday and i think joe's just gonna be there friday yeah just on friday i'll be there friday night i gotta check

out this comic-con thing see what the fuck is going down. Yeah. All right, folks. We've got a lot of shows this week, a lot of shows next week, and a lot of people I'm still trying to get on the hook. Thanks for all the support and all the cool vibes you send out there. We appreciate it. We love you guys as much as you love us. We're not going anywhere.

We'll see you Dirty Bitches soon. We'll see you soon. Thank you.