The Joe Rogan Experience - #244 - Immortal Technique
Episode Date: July 25, 2012Joe sits down with Immortal Technique. ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
yeah
joe rogan podcast checking out the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night
all day
you're gonna hit that music yeah
brian's not playing it's not a real audio. My truth is the Ark of the Covenant Buried in Ethiopia Watch where you fucker with a Minneapolis Somalian
When I go home the world I used to know is gone
And now I live on my own For which I'll improv for the rapper
With creative control to sign a deal With the devil and lose his soul
My stillborn first expression is cold Like the faces of slave masters on a pay-by-fold
Subliminal racial supremacy Choking me quick like the bedtime stories
Of Joseph Smith
Lynch mob gunning for me
Trying to murder my seeds
And shorty put them in the Nile
In a basket of reeds
And now I stare into the future
With a spiritual flashlight
Wondering who the fuck was me in a past life
Bad diet, fuck law, die young, fast life
Same as a crash flight that took off
When the music died on your last night
Tell them the truth
And they call you a traitor
Talk to them honestly And they call you a traitor Talk to them honestly
And they call you a hater
Losing my composure
Cause the message is urgent
That was badass
You wanna hear the whole thing?
Wow
Cursing at the serpents
Sumerian demons
Who brush their wings
Against the air that I'm breathing
A heathen with nothing left to believe in
Even a reason for living
That was forgiven
By God and not religion
Envision Jesus risen from the dead
Like Horus in a Baptist church.
Shaking off the rigor mortis, the border should be illegal instead of the people
that were here before the Bible and all of its sequels.
I speak to the detached and unrealistic that were born normal but turned socially autistic.
We resisted Homeland Security's mission because I know what they really envision.
I am the high in the sky Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat your mind
I am the high in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
First of all, how badass is that lyric?
I am the eye in the sky looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind.
Have you done an extended version of that song?
Because that song's like crack.
I could hear that for two more times.
Big shout out to my brother Salpore, who's responsible for producing that.
It's off the CD I just gave you, The Martyr.
It's free.
Like so many other things in this world, some people think that nothing's free.
But that actually is free.
You can go to ViperRecords.com and you don't have to fill out a stupid survey.
You don't have to sit through a 15-second Vivo commercial.
You press one button and then nine minutes later you have a 16-track album absolutely free by Immortal Technique featuring a lot of hip-hop underground greats and legends. You know, we got Styles P from the Lox, Vinny Paz, Poison Pen, Diabolic,
Suave Sever, Kier.
I mean, I could just go on.
Dead Prez.
And you decided to release it free?
Absolutely, for free.
My brothers, Killer Mike, Chuck D, Brother Ali is on here.
Joel Ortiz, Pumpkinhead.
Cornel West is on here.
Just so many.
You got Cornel West on your CD?
Yeah, he's doing the outro for me.
Holy shit.
That's awesome.
He's on the movie now.
That's pretty strong, dude.
Wait a minute.
You're a rapper.
You get Cornel West on your CD?
Holy shit.
He's the homie, you know what I mean?
That's pretty impressive, man. Appreciate that. Thank you. That's the homie, you know what I mean? That's pretty impressive, man.
Appreciate that.
Thank you.
That's awesome.
Yeah, that's badass.
So the name of it again,
one more time
for people who are listening.
The Martyr.
The Martyr.
And it's available at
viperrecords.com
V-I-P-E-R
records.com
What made you decide
to put it out for free?
Well, I mean,
it was at a time
when I saw that people
were struggling
financially, economically
and I thought to financially, economically,
and I thought to myself, listen, what's more revolutionary as opposed to being an artist that just has stuff ghostwritten for him
and then gives it out to people and gets angry when they download your terrible music?
You know, what's more revolutionary than taking hardcore hip-hop from the streets
and then music with a message, combining them,
and give them to the people absolutely for free?
100%.
Plus, they've been waiting so long on this other album
I have called The Middle Passage
that if I didn't give them something,
I would have probably got killed.
It is really, I mean, if you really think about it,
it is the best thing you could,
I mean, that's what we always feel about this podcast,
that, you know, I would never want to charge for it.
Like, part of the cool thing about it is that it's free.
Right.
I like doing it for free. I like that you don't have to pay shit and and you know it's not just that it's just like
look if you really support what i say you like the music then come to a show yeah same way people
listen to the podcast and be like yo if you like what we're doing here for free come see the show
we're gonna be live here we're gonna be there blah blah and that's what what happens for the
most part of my shows it's's mostly podcast fans these days.
But it's the idea that you decided to just produce a whole CD and put it out like that.
I agree that that seems to be the right thing to do.
A lot of people are doing it now.
You're giving it to them for free.
Of course, when you give people shit for free,
you develop the right kind of relationship.
You develop a giving relationship.
You're giving and you create this sort of mutually beneficial relationship
with the people that enjoy your shit.
So they actually enjoy the fact that a lot of people find out about you.
They enjoy the fact that the music is good.
They enjoy the fact.
They get to be a part of it all.
Definitely.
I didn't know the impact of what I did up until like a year or two into it.
I really started to get a grasp of it and then slowly accepted the responsibility.
And I think there's a big difference in between being
an independent artist and being in charge of everything that you have to do in order to be
successful and then having you know a label babysit you through a 360 deal or something
like are you completely independent is that how it works i press up my own units and i have a
distribution deal which means that that's about as independent as we can possibly be without me
you know i'm completely ignorant about the music business i don't know nothing about it so explain to me like is it is it hard to did to get to the point where you're at
like to be completely independent and have people know about you and like what sort of distribution
channels did you have to go through in order to remain independent well in the very beginning um
i had to find individuals that already had a distribution deal because at that point i was
just one artist.
And they weren't in the habit of saying, all right, we're just going to sign an artist who doesn't have a roster, doesn't have a label.
So I found a friend of the family that had a very small label called Viper Records.
And I was like, yo, let's help build something here.
And eventually it led to a few distribution deals.
And now I'm at one where I feel I'm in the right place.
I have the right people on my side.
It's a much larger and more expansive one than I traditionally had before.
But just so people understand out there that may not know,
a record deal is essentially a loan with horrible interest rates.
Because even after a loan, what happens when you get a bad loan
and you end up paying it all off?
You get to keep the property.
But in this case, you don't keep your intellectual property.
Your masters and your publishing are owned by somebody else.
And if you redefine contract and legalese in perpetuity.
And in some cases, that just doesn't make any sense to me.
I think that whole business is completely falling apart, right?
I mean, the record business, it's gone down to a personal appearance business. It's become that more, right? I mean, the record business, it's gone down to a personal appearance business.
It's become that more, right?
To some extent, I think that's why they implemented the 360 deal. So they felt like they could
eat off the shows as opposed to the dwindling record sales.
When you say 360 deals, what does that mean?
A 360 deal means that the label now collects on everything. The ancillary rights, you know,
if your music is in a movie, if you do a show, they're getting half of the show if you do a show yeah you're getting like what if you do like a reality
show they get the money whatever you do if you do you've if you were in a record company label
you do really so if you had like the immortal technique show and you know people traveled
around i was signed to a 360 deal before they would take a piece of that yeah what are they
offering though that's what that's what it depends on what status you have if you're someone who's a 360 deal before that. They would take a piece of that. Yeah. What are they offering, though?
That's what it depends on what status you have.
If you're someone
who's built up
an independent brand,
see, I'll give you an example.
Well, how did you do it?
If I have a good idea, right,
and I say to you,
Joe, you know,
as a company,
as a gigantic
multinational conglomerate,
I got this company
about people
who get on,
you know,
the internet
and meet other people
that are similar
and they get to post their pictures, you're looking me like oh yeah all right well how much is it
going to sell and i'm giving you numbers but let's say i set up something like myspace which is
obviously now not in its you know former glory but if i say all right well i have this company
myspace and it has you know i don't know 20 million people on it signed up look at the
advertising potential that we have
here, then I can sucker somebody like Rupert Murdoch into buying it for $500 million. And I
think it's just the same thing in music. If you've already built up an independent fan base, if you
have something that's completely your own, then you're coming to them with everything. And you're
saying, listen, I don't need to give you more than just this you know i i will give you the small percentage which is
usually between 15 and 25 percent um for just distributing the product making sure it's in all
the stores but isn't almost everything distributed like through electronic media now i mean i i think
how many actual cds move do they probably about. Maybe I've sold maybe about a quarter million records of the four albums that I've had out.
And I've moved about half of the product, really the last, the record in physical, not
in digital.
So it's still about half and half.
So it's still half and half.
We're talking about 40 to 60% of the revenue in certain places.
Do you buy CDs these days or do you download shit now?
Occasionally.
If I support an artist, if I like somebody and i think they're dope and they're a friend of mine i go to
the record store i'll buy one or two of them yeah i never see a record store when the fuck i buy all
my cds at starbucks like i was saying uh i do that sometimes that's probably the you know what
i think you're right i think the last cd i bought was at starbucks i do itunes too you know what i
mean yeah i do itunes like almost all of my stuff is iTunes now.
But I wonder how much sound you're losing.
How much sound are you losing?
Like the clarity?
They're technically not WAV files.
The depth?
They're, I think, 720.
I mean, it's not perfect, but it's not bad.
It's good sound quality.
You have to have a certain standard to put it on there, I believe.
Because if you talk to old-time hippie dudes,
they always tell you that vinyl record was the best.
That was the best quality sound.
We lost a little bit going from that to digital.
We lost something.
Laser discs.
We lost them when we went to DVDs.
Laser discs are better quality than DVDs.
Are they really?
Yeah.
But better than Blu-ray? No, I it's like... But better than Blu-ray?
No, I don't think they're better than Blu-ray.
Not at all.
But better than DVD.
It's probably just too expensive.
Well, Blu-ray tells laser discs to suck it.
How about that?
Blu-ray's the shit.
I watched a regular movie the other day
and I couldn't believe how bad it looked.
I watched The Ghost in the Darkness.
Do you remember that?
It was with Michael Douglas and Val Kilmer
Back from Lionhunting
Val Kilmer was a handsome motherfucker, man
He was handsome and chiseled and shit
One of those white people conquer Africa movies, right?
Nobody in Africa can kill a lion
So they gotta bring in two white people
From England and America to go kill a lion
Can you kill a lion?
Get the fuck out of here, yo
Look, just put a bloody piece of steak right there and just wait there and bang.
It wasn't a lion, dude.
It was the ghost in the darkness.
It was the ghost in the darkness.
They were intelligent lions.
They were set in traps for them.
Intelligent.
Well, it becomes kind of weird, but there have been animals like that that have just strictly decided to eat people.
There was a cat, a tiger in India that's been recently going around on Twitter, the Wikipedia about it.
This cat in India killed like 400 and something people before they finally killed it.
Maybe he's just trying to get even, man.
No, apparently they just develop a taste for flesh.
It's just not normal for them because we're not normally on their food chain.
But once they find out about us.
I think we made ourselves not on their food chain.
We're on their food chain, homie.
If you and me go into the jungle like in a loincloth.
Oh, yeah.
What I mean by we're not on their food chain is that's not a regular part of their diet.
So they don't recognize us as food necessarily.
Sushi's not a regular part of my diet, but I'll eat the us as food necessarily but sushi is not a regular
part of my diet but i'll eat the shit out of it if i'm hungry you know what i mean so that's
tigers once they find out that they can kill people they become a real fucking problem they
just go exclusively for people yeah there was a story about a this boat in india well there's an
area in india called the sundarb, where over the last 100 years, tigers
have killed close to
I think it was 300,000
people. Something insane. Really?
Oh, yeah. Insane number. Insane number
over the last 100 years.
It's fucking crazy. Wow.
There's an area where the water... Yeah.
There's two problems with the area. One,
the brackish water.
Apparently, the tigers drink it, and it makes them fucking crazy.
Because it's water that's salty.
They really shouldn't be drinking it.
It makes them really incredibly irritated, and it makes them super hyper-aggressive.
And they've been known to kill people for sport.
There's this one tiger who killed these guys on a boat.
Swam out to the boat, killed the guy, dragged him to the shore, dropped off his body, jumped back in the water, and he did it three times.
And they couldn't get away from him.
Tigers can swim fast, man.
And he did it for fun.
He did it for fun until he got tired of it.
But, you know, cats are really like some of the most ruthless killers in the world.
They're so ruthless.
And not only will they kill someone, but they'll fuck with it for hours before they kill it.
Like, oh, yeah, let me just practice on this living thing in front of my kids and slice its face open.
And this is how you rip the hamstring on the animal when you're chasing it.
They give lessons of murder.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're creepy cunts.
That's a hell of a parent right there.
Like, look, go kill him right now.
Well, what people don't understand is the reason why human beings have the symbiotic relationship with cats is because of rodents we had the cats around because
the cats killed the right the mice and the rats they and the cats are cool the cats would hang
out with you and they would go jack the mice and the rats and they would keep the rats and the mice
out of your fucking food i mean that was where it all you know that's but they're they're they're
like killers man you're a little house cat.
Everybody's a little house cat.
You put a bird in front of it, it'll jump on that shit and murder it right in front of you.
When we lived in South America, I remember my father reminds me.
He said, listen, they had cats out there the way we have mice here.
They would sneak into your kitchen.
They would sneak into your food supply.
Oh, yeah.
And grandmama did not give a shit.
She would snap its neck like a breadstick if it got nasty and tried to turn it crazy.
Well, feral cats are very different than regular cats.
Street cats.
A lot of street dogs out there, too.
Yeah.
Those are dangerous animals.
They can get really dangerous.
And also, they carry a lot of diseases.
Diseases, too, yeah.
Especially that toxoplasma you know that um that that there's a disease that literally changes men's behavior
and you get it from cats it's the the nuttiest fucking disease ever toxo toxoplasmosis i think
it's called toxoplasmosis gandhi is the actual scientific name. I might be wrong. But it comes from cat shit.
And the way it happens is these rats get infected.
So that's why they say crazy is cat shit, huh?
Yeah.
Cat shit crazy.
Yeah, for real.
Toxoplasmosis.
Yeah.
Toxoplasma.
Toxoplasma.
Toxoplasmosis.
I think that's what it's called.
And it can't affect women.
It only affects men.
No, no.
It affects women as well.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
They're not exactly sure, but it's really dangerous, can't it can't affect women it only affects no no it affects women as well okay yeah they're they're not exactly sure but it's really dangerous especially for women if
they're uh pregnant when women are pregnant that's why they tell them never fuck with cat litter
don't touch a litter box because uh if they get it and they get infected it can it can seriously
fuck up with the development of the child while it's in the woman's womb. Yeah, it's a brain parasite.
Half cat, half human.
No, no, no, it's not that.
It just, look, it's not, whatever this thing is, it's in a lot of people,
and you can live with it.
It's a bacteria.
But it altered, it's a parasite, essentially.
It's like a brain worm, literally. worm literally wow yeah and what it does is it
fucks with the rats and it it rewires the rats immune or the sexual reward system and has the
rat sexually attracted the smell of cat piss completely changes the rats like the rats drive
and like hijacks his whole system and makes his dick hard for cat piss
literally his dick swells okay so the rat is horny i mean it's the most ruthless shit nature has ever
invented right so the rat is all horny he goes over the cat is the cat's like bitch the cat
jacks the rat then the cat hangs around with, and then people get it from the cat.
And it's been shown to make people extra aggressive.
It's been shown to make them act more impulsively.
Some bath salt type shit.
I don't think it's that bad, but there's a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims that test positive for toxoplasma.
And they think it also can delay reaction time on some people too but there's also been a direct correlation between successful successful soccer teams and areas of infestation
for toxoplasma and they think it might actually make men produce more testosterone so it's possible
that it can trick your body into acting more aggressively, being more sexual, producing more testosterone, making you more impulsive.
And here's where it gets really crazy.
In England, in Europe, 80% of France is infested with toxoplasma.
80%?
80% of the French people, people from France.
Yeah, 80%.
You think so?
No, I know so.
Like, this is like scientific.
They said 80% of the dudes are people in general.
People in general.
Yeah.
Well, they are very violent people, Joe.
I mean, you know what I think is unfair is when I heard the administration, the Republican administration under Bush,
the way they lambasted and hammered the French simply because they didn't want to go to Iraq.
And if you think about it, after World War I—
Remember when we had Freedom Fries?
That was such a fucking joke, dude.
Freedom Fries.
Whatever cocksucker came up with that idea,
you know, I hope you die in a car fire.
It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard
in my fucking life.
Because Freedom Fries should be what you're eating,
fucko, because without France,
there would be no United States of America.
On several occasions.
France just didn't want to get bullied
into something crazy.
They're smart, but they became like pussies to us.
They became like cowards.
You know what it is?
The Middle East was divided a long time ago through a treaty called Sykes-Picot,
where the European nations decided that Turkey or the Ottoman Empire was the sick man of Europe,
so they cut it up.
Everyone got their little slice. England got what's now Iraq and Egypt. France got parts of North Africa, Syria, and Lebanon. So really,
it's not that I'm scared to fight. No, that's just not my slice, homie. You take care of your
own problems there. If there's an issue over here where I'm getting money and I have the remnants
of the Carac de Chevalier and all this legacy of intervention,
because realistically, you look at the Crusades, they were run by Normans, by Frenchmen,
by people who were maybe five, six generations away from a man called Rollo the Viking who invaded and then became Duke of Normandy.
So you're talking about an individual or a group of people who have been warring and killing from the beginning
from the very start i mean french people they they get away with it because you think of them in wine
and poems but look at history and i'm not denigrating the french i'm saying y'all are
wild motherfuckers y'all are some very very violent people you've been involved in every
sort of chaos and melee since but they've evolved but've evolved. But the modern ones have evolved.
And they're like,
we're not interested in that anymore.
We'd rather make really good wine and fuck.
I mean, I can't be mad at that. I think they've got a lot of good points.
I can't be mad at that.
The modern French are very cool.
They have it down.
They're doing the right thing.
They're not fucking with the world.
You know, the modern French,
they don't want to be involved.
They banned high fructose corn syrup
and all that.
Good for them.
When I go out to Europe,
it's different.
Soda tastes different.
Food doesn't make you feel as heavy and fat.
And you walk out of there like, oh.
Yeah, we're not in any way saying there's anything wrong with being French.
I've met a lot of really cool French people.
I just find it fascinating when people come from really ancient cultures.
Because our culture is so goddamn new.
And if you look at the human race and look at like in the areas where
it's been established and culture's been established for the longest they're really the most backward
areas it's like iraq iraq is sumer that's like one of the oldest known civilizations yeah that's
like where that's the cradle of civilization but even here you know even here we had indigenous
people living here thousands of years before yeah oh sure well you know what's really fascinating
what a lot of people don't know,
is most of North America was covered in a mile-high sheet of ice
up until about 10,000 years ago.
So when everybody was just balling it up in Europe
and having a great time and partying all throughout the world,
we were covered in ice.
Except for Central America and South America,
where you find lots and lots of different peoples.
Mostly they focus on Aztec, Maya, Inca, but there are so many other individuals.
Like when I came back to Latin America, the Olmecs, you look at their shamans,
their tradition of religion, their explanation of human society,
their use of psychotropic drugs.
Yeah, they had a completely independent advanced civilization.
And that's what people aren't aware of.
Like when you go back like many, many thousands of years, what gets really interesting is
it's really hard to reach other people.
So that was when people were developing very uniquely on their own.
You know, cultures develop very uniquely like in their own little, their own little place.
They weren't having
like the constant
intervention
that we have
from all over the world.
So if you look at like
what the advanced civilization
of thousands of years ago
in North,
in South America rather,
and you look at the Mayan civilization,
like what a fucking
fascinating path
those guys went down.
I mean,
what an amazing path these guys went down thousands and thousands of years ago
because no one was fucking with them.
Because people, they were like, this is what they came up with.
What they came up with was incredible fucking stone structures that mirror the cosmos.
And they were doing shit that nobody was thinking about in Europe.
Nobody was thinking about the same time.
Nobody was thinking about any of the fucking shit
those guys were doing.
You know what my favorite part is?
When I hear people say,
oh, you know, they had so many scientific advancements,
the Aztecs, Maya, and Inca,
like the aliens must have helped you to do it.
On one level, I think that's pretty interesting.
And to even acknowledge for someone to say
that there's
extraterrestrial life but at the same time my question is this those developments happened
over the course of hundreds of years of thousands of years we're looking at american society now
that went from being in a fucking horse and buggy 150 years ago to now being on the moon and
everybody's got a cell phone the size of a pack of Tic Tacs and whatnot. So, listen, if the aliens helped anybody, they helped people here in America.
They didn't help us, you know what I mean?
We've developed it over hundreds and I say thousands of years of work
and science and whatnot, or then they've been helping everybody the whole time.
I think it's silly to assume that the aliens helped us,
but I don't rule out the possibility.
I don't.
Just because I think that the human race is so ridiculous,
the whole lot of us, we're so strange and bizarre,
that I don't, it's just the fact that we even exist.
The talking monkey.
Yeah, the fact that we can send satellites into space,
just the fact that we can do the nutty shit that we can do i would never rule out that somewhere along the line someone we got fucked with yeah someone gave us some shit or fucked
with us a little bit or you know did some shit with some monkeys and made people i'm not ruling
that out man i do not rule that out i would say aliens before Bigfoot. Dude, Bigfoot, I'm going
squatching. Shut your mouth.
I told you. This fucking whole area is
very squatchy.
There's a lot of trees across the street, I noticed.
That's a very squatchy area. There's some trees right down
the block, man. I like them trees. I'm going Bigfoot.
I'm not mad at those trees. Those are Cali trees.
Don't be hating. You want to come with me? No.
Come on, man. We're going camping.
Let's go play in the woods and get raped by some guy.
Dude, we're going to go find Sasquatch.
What if we really found one?
Came back, we changed the podcast.
You won't.
Guess what?
You won't.
How do you know there's not a few thousand of them?
Hiding in the woods.
Joe, there's 40,000 just in California.
You know when we're going to know, man?
When this fucking, these 30,000 proposed drones are in the sky in the next couple of years.
We would already know from Google Maps or Google Earth.
You think they would see a Bigfoot on Google Maps?
If there's 4,000 or whatever.
You can't get Google Maps.
Or maybe they're in a cave on the ground.
They don't have a detailed picture of every square foot of the Pacific Northwest rainforest.
I would believe in Loch Ness before I believed in Bigfoot.
I think Loch Ness Is probably just like
An eel
Yeah
Probably
You know
A retarded dolphin
They have found
Relic species
All over the world
They found
Something called
A koala canth
Yeah
In South Africa
They thought that was dead
For 60 million years
So I can't even imagine
What's at the bottom
Of the ocean
I don't even want to know.
Part of me wants to know, but the other half of me is like, yo, listen, you don't want
to wake that shit up.
The Kraken or whatever the fuck is down there.
Well, you know they found evidence that there was something like a Kraken, a giant octopus
type creature.
Because the problem with these, what are they called?
Encephalopods?
Is that what they're called?
Mollusks?
They're related to mollusks.
But they don't have anything to their body.
They're just jelly.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, there's no bones there except for their teeth.
So when they die, that's it.
Their body just rots.
You know, an octopus is just one piece of undulating flesh.
Completely different than our idea of like a bone structure and, you know, a skeletal frame.
No vertebrae, nothing like that.
Yeah, they don't have any of that shit.
So apparently they found fossils of what they think are enormous suction cups.
And several of them in a row.
And they're pretty sure that what that is, is that's what's left of an enormous octopus that used to live in the ocean.
So the idea of the Kraken, it might have been a real thing. It might have been an enormous octopus that used to live in the ocean. So the idea of the Kraken, it might have been a real thing.
It might have been an enormous octopus.
Eat or be eaten.
Back in those times, listen, when you ran into something,
there was no such thing as a handshake back in like the 100 million B.C.
But can you imagine if there really was an octopus that took out a boat?
Yeah.
Can you imagine if they actually got that big, like boat size,
like those fucking Kraken pictures.
I mean, they had a Megalodon, which is basically, we're talking about a great white shark that's 65 feet long.
That shit's crazy.
That's fucking crazy.
And their babies were like the size of great white sharks now.
That would be a baby Megalodon, a 30-foot Megalodon.
My friend Bud has a tooth in his office, a megalodon tooth.
Oh, yeah?
And you pick it up, and you just go, what the fuck, man?
It's a fossil.
So what a fossil is is the actual bone gets replaced with minerals in time.
So it's really like a piece of stone.
It's like a black piece of stone.
I had to explain that to him.
Dudes think that this is just, no, it's a bone.
That's the actual tooth.
No, the tooth doesn't exist anymore. This is a fossil of the tooth. I had to explain that to him. Dudes think that this is just, no, it's a bone. That's the actual tooth. No, the tooth doesn't exist anymore.
This is a fossil of the tooth.
I had to explain it to him.
He was explaining, he was telling me, no, it's a real tooth.
I got paid for it.
I got a certificate.
So it's real.
I'm telling you, that's not exactly what a fossil is.
But anyway, it's so big.
It's like a giant blade.
The size of your hand.
Yeah, it's fucking huge.
And you're looking at it like, that was in a, you just picture that in a mouth.
And then picture how big that fucking mouth is.
And sharks went through teeth like Carson went through wives.
I mean, boom, boom, boom, next one fell out, boom.
What a crazy animal the world has invented.
I mean, when you just toxoplasma and sharks. The fact that those two motherfuckers exist.
You know what I'm saying?
What about a shark?
Cat parasite that makes you think.
What about a shark with toxoplasma?
What about an octopus that didn't have tentacles, but they had sharks instead of tentacles?
Sharks with the end?
Yeah, like the legs would be just sharks.
Oh, my God.
Why not?
With toxoplasma.
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
He's ridiculous. He's ridiculous he's ridiculous he's ridiculous
that he'll do that to you but dude imagine that would be crazy with shark heads at the end of it
so much this is some this is part of somebody's bad trip out there someone's about to hit the
joe rogers you stole that idea from me you know what's really crazy is that these people in south
africa have sharks the great whites on some sort of endangered list.
So you're not supposed to be killing them.
I mean, I read that they're thinking about lifting the ban because another one killed a fucking surfer recently.
Like, apparently they're on some sort of endangered list.
One surfer died as opposed to like the 100,000 or like 12 million sharks that we kill every year or something.
Well, that's a pretty good record.
But still, I say all sharks can suck my dick and we should kill every year or something. Well, that's a pretty good record, but still, I say all sharks can suck my dick,
and we should kill every one of them.
I'm on team people, and I like surfing.
And if there's anything out there that will cut me in half when I'm surfing, no.
Not really interested in that thing sticking around.
I say we send in torpedoes on submarines and just jack every fucking shark we find.
You're wilding.
If we did that,
all the other species that they're supposed to eat
would be right there.
We'd have more fish.
See what I'm saying, dog?
But we'd have less of other stuff, too.
You can't completely fuck with the...
We would probably give rise to some new
intelligent dolphin that knows
how to make a gun.
You know what I mean? If you fuck the balance of power up in the ocean
like that, who knows what the result is
going to be. Jesus Christ.
The fact that we do that, though, is a part of nature.
It is our own human curiosity that
leads us to fuck with things and remove
things from the food chain and use our infinite
wisdom to change the topography
of the earth. But that is also
a part of nature. Because we are all
nature.
Even if people say that, oh, plastic is unnatural, sort of, but no, it's natural.
It's what the shitty humans make.
This brings up an interesting question.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine.
If we evolve ourselves, if we decide to genetically modify ourselves,
and people say that's unnatural, isn't that nature?
It's nature.
It's all natural where we have the ability now to be intelligent enough to map and and select certain genes and to say
all right you know what i want to be able to take this gene that says that my organs will fail at
like 80 or 90 years and i'm going to put a zero on that right so now instead of being you know 80
when i'm 80 i'm going gonna look 80 when i'm like 800
yeah i think the idea of natural is getting to be silly and i think we have to look at it as
organic and inorganic inorganic still being natural but created by people that's what it is
organic being something that occurs without any any intervention at all but it's natural that
people intervene that's what they're curious to do.
There's a reason why there's people that are in school that are studying genetic engineering.
There's a reason why they're doing it.
I would rather have those people figure their shit out in 30 years
and then fuck with my milk and the eggs and the food that I eat.
Oh, yeah.
Look, it's not all good.
Instead of testing it out on the public now and then hiding it
because the funny thing is that if you're so
proud of the product why won't you put your name on it mom saying well see the the real issue is
not the science the real issue is the commerce behind the science because the science is is
valid there's there's there's certainly science to uh improving upon things and there might be
things that cause problems with people that we might be able to solve with science. But the problem is then you get commerce involved.
And commerce looks at all they're trying to do is figure out the best way to extract money from this.
And the best way to extract money is to patent all their creations
and then make a creation that is completely unnatural and force people to buy it.
Completely unnatural in that you can't even use the seeds from the plant to grow new plants.
Or there are no seeds.
Or there are no seeds.
Or the seeds that you have, they have a shelf life.
They'll expire in a short amount of time.
There's a fascinating thing that happens when people get involved in big groups of people that are designed to make money.
Corporations.
And there's a great documentary about it called The Corporation.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely recommend that.
Yeah.
Where it's – they essentially show how there's a diffusion of responsibility when there's a large group of people acting towards a goal.
And that essentially the snowflake doesn't realize it's a part of an avalanche.
It just feels like it's a snowflake.
You just feel like you're a person doing your job.
And meanwhile, you've gotten commerce mixed up somehow or another
and science and progress.
And you've gotten commerce involved,
so it's enforcing its own version of these things
before we know the exact results of what could happen.
Long-term ingestion, how's it going to affect the other things in the
environment if the parasites that are naturally preying on weed or whatever the fuck it is that
they're making how what is it what happens to them when they're not allowed to breed when they're not
allowed to eat when they're not allowed to feast on these plants that they've naturally had to
protect people from like what about it what about that what what is what what is the backfiring of
that you know is it bark beetles?
What the fuck is it?
You know what I mean? I think on many levels, that analysis that you brought up, that analogy can then be used for so many other things.
It's not just about somebody's health now, but now commerce is dictating politics.
It becomes the human race.
In other words, companies come into existence not to find out what's the best medicine for people,
but what's the cheapest way they can produce something that's going to offset symptoms
and then keep them coming back for more.
There's no money in the cure.
There's only money in the temporary solution because if you cure it, then what's the point?
And it's pure greed because there's still an incredible amount of money to be made if they were just in the seed
business and if they made seeds and then the farmer could use that plan and grow new seeds
and or get the seeds from it and grow new plants and it could be a natural thing you know and then
you you couldn't force people into suicide like you've got like
indian farmers are committing suicide as a result of being forced into using genetically modified
foods and crops and being forced into incredible debt they can't repay there's something like every
30 seconds an indian farmer commits suicide that's crazy it's fucking crazy i mean they've attributed
not no bullshit more than a hundred thousand suicides in India to being connected to
Genetically modified crops. It's fucking nuts. They get locked into these contracts
They can't they're not making as much money as they think they should be making being the largest democracy in the world
You would think that they would have the ability for people to petition to say this is illegal
but then again, I think the problem with democracy
and the problem with having those things is that the commerce
that you're talking about is now front and center in terms of everything,
in terms of saying I'm going to sponsor you to be the next candidate
or the next president or the next congressman from top to bottom.
You're fucking with life so much when you make something that won't even reproduce.
You're fucking with life so much.
I just don't think you should be allowed to do that.
I think that's where it gets really tricky.
When you're fucking with life solely for commerce, like your idea of what it should and shouldn't do,
you're not allowing the cycle of life to continue in a natural fashion.
You're making suicide suicide plants that's a
fascinating thing when we let people do that because like why would you do that you'd only
do that if you're greedy right you know you want to keep coming back for more you're gonna put
about making the the plant better or making people eat better or anything it's just gonna
put them in debt you're gonna put them in a non-natural cycle. Why do they have to, you know, they can't get, none of it can be used.
You can't like take the seeds and plant and make new plants.
Really?
The fuck are you doing?
Again, that mirrors everything else.
It's like, look, you're getting a car, a car that does what?
That puts gas in the air, that pollutes the environment,
that makes us required to be in a partnership with some of the most, excuse me,
some of the most totalitarian states that exist in the world practically that we turn a blind eye to.
Now, we'll focus on those that don't give us access to their natural resources and don't have bases in their countries.
But the ones that don't, those that say, OK, well, now we want to interfere.
Now we want a piece of the pie.
Now this is commerce talking.
This is no longer money.
And I think that that should be something that at some point we have to accept as a country.
And then I think it would be tough for the soldiers to look at that saying, yes, on one hand,
it can be said that I'm here to be able to confront a state that sponsors terrorism.
It's a good line.
But at the same time, what if all of those soldiers were told at the same time,
listen, you're also here because the American economy,
and in order to fund this lifestyle that we live,
requires you to secure a government that, by our standards,
has horrific human rights abuses,
by our standards of the same standards and litmus tests
we use to criticize these other places,
has terrible human rights offenses.
But we need their resources.
We need them to be a part of us.
We need to support this lifestyle.
It's like if we got divorced from reality
and all of a sudden, hey, look, bitch,
you can't live like you used to live.
You're going to have to accept not going to the spa every other day.
You're only going to be able to go once a month.
Like, no, that's a terrible idea.
Kill them all.
Let's take what we have from them.
And I think that that metaphor applies not just to that, but everything now.
Everything's about money.
It's not about what's good for humanity anymore.
Very rarely do you find someone that says, oh, yeah, I'm just doing this because I'm trying
to find what the best
thing is for people. It's no.
How can I make this into
a money-making opportunity
even though it fucks up the entire
point and the perspective of what I was
trying to do in the first place?
It just becomes about making money
regardless of the consequences of trying
to make that money. You have leeway with entertainment to be able to do that yeah there's gotta be a way to reach a happy
middle ground man you know just people have to just not be cunts that's really what it is
think about what you're doing for real think about what you're doing and say is that it might be in a
cunt like look at it look at it realistically and if you're being a cunt stop it it's really that simple and if you you got some fucking crazy ass business where you're
robbing people of their natural resources and going in there with tanks and and and killing
who knows how many fucking civilians and somehow or another you've passed it off as helping someone's freedom or supporting freedom or
making sure we're free you're a cunt that's a cunt thing you're that's crazy and the crazy
thing is it's always on the top level and it's always people who never gone to war themselves
they're all chicken hawks and then it's always somebody who has to suffer and go exactly being
apart from their family and who really you know i have a lot of friends i have some family
in the military you know what i mean shout out of friends. I have some family in the military.
You know what I mean?
Shout out to all my peoples out there.
You can say that legit.
You can say shout out
to all my peoples out there.
To me,
I have to say
it's got to be sort of funny.
Tongue in cheek.
Shout out to all my peoples
out there.
I want to get a shout out
to Shark.
I just want people
to realize like
it's not that when we
question this country.
Not questioning the people that signed up for it.
Right, we're not angry at Jal.
We're angry at the individuals who are in charge
that never take responsibility.
I have a friend who went to Iraq.
He was in the Army Reserve for 20 years.
And he had less than a month to go,
and they sent him to Iraq for a year and a half.
They just can do that to you,
and then they send him back again.
Apparently, they can keep
sending you back. Like, even though you
do your time in the military, Dick Cheney
signed some shit where they made it
so they could just bring you back
if necessary. If you're a trained
soldier, the resources to train a new soldier,
it's too difficult, apparently. So
too much money, we can't afford that, we gotta bring you back.
Or whatever the fuck the excuse is.
But that's crazy. You've made a person your slave.
So what if that person starts up a business?
What if that person out in the legit free world has got a family, starts up a business?
Tough shit.
Tough shit.
You've got to go to the desert.
You've got to go to the desert for a year, maybe more.
I think at some point the individuals that were in charge of designing a war, you know, look at people
as statistics and not real individual people because they're not going through it.
You know, they're more than happy to let somebody else's child do it.
But when you look at them, it's like even the people that make this genetically modified
food, you know, I would believe a little bit more if I seen your kids drinking that milk.
I know that they're not.
Or the individuals that will say, oh yeah, you know,
I remember there was some story about a girl in the bushing station. I think they probably would drink that milk. See, that's not even the problem. I don't think these people are on organic diets.
I think they're charlatans. I think they're just in commerce.
I don't think they're watching their diet that clearly. It's crazy fucks.
I think when people have millions and millions of dollars,
some doctor is going to say,
you know what?
This is probably not good for you.
You probably shouldn't be doing this. What sort of genetically modified milk would be bad for you?
Is there something like that?
Is there genetically modified milk?
There's a company that recently has gained a lot of attention
called Monsanto.
And they've had this big controversy.
Recently? They made DDT. No, no, no. They madeonsanto. They've had this big controversy. Recently?
They made DDT.
No, no, no.
They made Agent Orange.
Recently now more than ever.
I think they changed their name.
Did they change their name?
They've been in the game for a while.
They've been in the game for a while.
But we're talking about
recently had so many new investigations open.
Well, they lost a giant
multi-billion dollar lawsuit
to farmers in Brazil.
Right.
Fuck yeah, Brazil.
I'm happy for that. Fuck yeah, Brazil. I'm happy for that.
Fuck yeah, man.
They sued the shit out of them.
Beautiful women.
A win against Monsanto.
Jiu-Jitsu.
And almost fucking every weight class has a Brazilian champion.
There's more Brazilian champions in MMA because now you got Hennon Barau who just won the
interim bantamweight title.
And then you got Junior Dos Santos who's the heavyweight've got Junior Dos Santos, who's the heavyweight champion.
You've got Anderson Silva, who's the middleweight champion.
And you've got, you know, there's tough guys at every weight class from Brazil.
Aldo, Jose Aldo is the 145-pound champion.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
That's a lot of fucking weight classes dominated by a Brazilian.
Somebody told me you recently got a black belt in jiu-jitsu.
Yeah, I did, yeah.
Congratulations.
I know that.
Thank you, sir.
That's a lot of work.
A lot of getting choked in my neck, my friend.
A lot of that.
I've got a back problem because of it.
When you see me doing like that all the time, it's because my back is always fucked up from jiu-jitsu.
But it's so fun.
I can't help but do it more.
I actually took jiu-jitsu for about three or four years when I was a kid.
Did you really?
It gave me a lot of real, real life experience.
Yeah, you struggle.
My sensei at the time, he was a Vietnam veteran, a real no-nonsense kind of dude.
It's always a good plot in a story, a Vietnam veteran who turns the hood to teach karate.
He was always there.
He was always in the hood.
Shout out to sensei
stanley thompson um and he was a very very very positive brother in terms of of how we advanced
in our lessons because i remember getting life lessons from the man not just how to you know
choke someone or hit someone but when to and why to you know what i mean and the discipline required
like i put it on twitter the other day one one of the things that I always remember he told
me, he's like, listen, you know, while you're wasting time with your friends running around,
there's somebody that's running and doing push-ups.
When you're getting high and drunk with your friends, somebody is doing kata.
When you are sitting there playing video games, someone is running laps and smashing, you
know, a practice dummy.
And when this person meets you, they're going to fucking destroy you. Yeah, he got a practice dummy. And when this person meets you,
they're going to fucking destroy you.
And I took that real personally like,
Jesus Christ, either I'm going to have to commit to this
or to that, you know what I mean?
But it definitely put those things at the forefront
to say, you know what, young brother,
you're going to choose your life for yourself.
And if this is what you want, you can do it.
But at the same time,
if you're going to be involved in a situation,
just understand what the consequences of that are you know for me martial arts was the first time i understood the connection of what you put in is what you get out i didn't understand that
connection before that i always like wanted things to happen for me i didn't really have like a
physical thing where it was like so difficult to do that I
realized the only way to get good at it is just intense hard work and focus. Everything else in
my life, you know, I was like 15 when I finally got into martial arts, like seriously got into it.
But everything else in my life, you know, whether it was getting into art or playing other sports,
there was no consequences.
It was like, so what if your picture didn't look that good?
So what if you dropped the ball?
You didn't get your ass kicked.
Once it was someone beats your ass, once it was like, oh, oh, this is the top of the face.
It's either this or kill you.
It's either this or kill you.
It's either beat your ass or kill you.
And guess what?
If someone can beat your ass, they can kill you.
They can kill you with their fucking hands.
If a guy gets your back and he chokes you and you tap,
you're essentially admitting that he could have killed you.
If this was a life or death struggle,
he would have kept the choke on,
you would have been dead person.
You got it, in other words.
Exactly.
And that was reality to me.
It was like, you got to look at your game,
your fighting game and your life game.
You got to look at it 100% realistically.
Look at it objectively.
Look at it.
Stand outside of it and look at it.
And I didn't have to do that until I started fighting.
I didn't have to do that until martial arts.
That was one of the exercises.
After we had learned stuff for a certain period of time,
we had to show what we learned by fighting our sensei.
It wasn't like, oh, we had to fight him we learned by fighting our sensei it wasn't like you had to
fight him we had to fight him and he he was well take it easy on you uh no you beat your ass of
course i mean that's just the way it is but why is he making how old was this guy no i'm not talking
about beat us up like leave us on the floor right he definitely obviously you were like a beginning
student right we were like i was maybe like 14 like We were like, I was maybe like 14, like 13, 14.
And I think that it wasn't like, I never went home crippled.
I never went home like not being able to stand.
Did you ever see stars?
Did you ever crack you and you saw stars?
It was more like I definitely got the wind knocked out of me.
I fell down.
He controlled you.
Right, definitely.
It was someone who had experience teaching young children and had taught his son from a very young age.
So it was more like it was a controlled place.
And it was more like if in the middle of the fight we did something wrong, we got punished for it because he said, you know better.
We trained on that for weeks.
You know what I mean?
You know what to do at that particular time.
And now you're just being lazy because you know it hurts to do that block that way.
Or it hurts to get down low and then get back up. You know what I mean?
Well, what people don't have to experience in life is that realization, you know, the
sort of this pain, the bad thing that has happened to you only happened to you because
you didn't put in the work, only happened to you because you weren't focused enough,
only happened to you because you did something that you shouldn't have done and you have no choice but to learn what the that was and make
sure that doesn't happen again because that sucks so it's got cracked life lessons don't talk to joe
on the fear factor i'll put you in the headlock and slap you around like a hoe and i only did
that to one dude i only did it because i thought he was going to hit me. He wouldn't get away from my face.
I pushed him away from me twice, and I was like, if this guy comes in again, I'm just going to manhandle him.
I mean, you know, some people are really brave when it comes to barking on a woman, but when they deal with a man, it's a whole other story.
Well, I was, you know, trying to make sure that I wasn't sued, too.
Like, I didn't want to do anything.
I knew there was nine cameras on me.
It was like when I had the back of his head
I wanted to make sure
that nothing I did
was going to get me
in trouble.
No because I mean
in that position
you could have done
so many other things
that would have just
left him sued.
I was so angry too
because I knew this guy
had like done some shit
before on other shows
like attacked some
counselor on one show
and threw his wife
on the ground
on another show.
I knew he was
he was crazy. I'll say this much when i was a young man my father told me he said
listen the man who hits his woman is a coward like my father was a very strong man he said listen
because he's taking out all the problems on the rest of the world that people are giving him
you know what i mean for all of this and taking it out on the person that's supposed to support
him instead of him doing that and i asked my my father, I said, what if it's the woman?
You're talking about Sean Connery.
What if it's the woman that's giving him all the problems?
And I said, yo, at that point, you just get up and leave.
That's the worst thing you could do to a woman that's obsessed
with trying to ruin your life.
Get up and walk out the door and never answer a phone call
and never, you know what I mean?
Yeah, well, you just got to never let it get down that road.
When you see it getting down that road to being so crazy you might hit each other,
you got to get out.
Either change, both of you, come to some mutual agreement, or get out.
People don't, you know, they get in these crazy patterns in relationships.
That's a big part of the fucking problem.
They get used to being in a situation where they yell and scream at each other,
and then when they get
into the next relationship,
yeah,
it totally seems normal.
Or they grew up like that.
I grew up like that.
Did you grow up like that?
I grew up with
both of my parents together.
I'm not saying
that everything was perfect
but I put it this way.
My father was a very,
very strict
and very,
very like
tough man on us
but I've never seen
my dad hit my mother and I've never seen my dad hit my mother,
and I've never seen my father
drunk in my life, ever.
My dad, he taught in a military academy.
He was really, really tough on us
when we were kids.
But at the same time,
I can say that I am everything I am
because somebody loved me,
because he took the time to say,
hey, you know what?
I'm going to take my son, who's 12,
to the Amazon jungle with me. Oh, you're scared of
roaches? Well, what happens when they're all
flying the fuck around you? Now deal with it.
You know what I mean? Deal with the reality
of fucking life, dude. This is life.
You think you're poor because we live in Harlem?
Right, let's go to the jungle.
Let's take you to some little real fucked up
area in Peru so you can see people
that eat cardboard smashed
in with dog meat and
that's their lunch and I know it's cardboard you know it's cardboard Joe they know it's cardboard
too but they're still gonna eat it because they're fucking starving he's like so I think my pops
really just kind of beat the lessons of life into me you know what I mean that's good man that's good
to have that's a lot of times kids will resent a like that, that put so much effort and work into it.
But it's tough for a dad, too.
You've got to know when to let that fucking kid be himself.
It's hard.
It's hard to raise children.
I mean, I put it this way.
For a long time, me and my father had a very, very negative relationship because of all the crazy stuff I was doing.
And then when I got older, I started to realize that a lot of the things
that he was trying to do were things that were very effective.
Like, for one time, he kicked me out.
Real shit.
I hardly ever talk about this, but fuck it, we're here.
And he was basically like, no, look, I love you.
You know, you're my firstborn son.
But, you know, you got drugs in this house, you know?
There's something else in there you know what
i mean and you're in danger in the family i'm not gonna let you endanger your mother and your
younger sister by running around here being crazy so you know what you can do you can get your stuff
and you can get the fuck out and real shit i left how old were you like 16 15 you kind of have to do
that when you have a 15 or 16-year-old that's doing that.
You really don't have any options.
And for a long time, Joe,
I was kind of resentful
until I sat back and I said,
damn, as cliche as that sounds,
that really must have hurt him
more than it hurt me
because I was like,
fuck you, and I left
and I walked out.
But for him,
it must have been like,
damn, are you that ignorant?
Are you that foolish at that age?
Which is why I always believe
when I see people
that are in those circumstances, this was even before i went to prison this was
before i had any real legal would you go to prison for for assault what happened i had multiple
assault charges i just used to fight a lot when i was a kid i thought that would solve everything
you know i was one of those idiots that was willing to fight to the death against someone
who's not my enemy and the street is full of those fools right now. Oh, yeah.
They're like, oh, man, this is the life.
No, it's not life or death, homie.
You're going that way, and someone's in your way.
You can go around them, and it'll be a lot less time.
I'm amazed sometimes at how lippy people get for no reason.
For no reason.
People get crazy.
Like, they're ready to go.
It's almost like they're bluffing, but if you call them on their bluff they'll go you know most of the time people are bluffing but they're still they're they're putting themselves on on you know
on fucking a yellow light they're putting themselves in a bad situation but i mean at
the same time joe i not this is not to excuse my actions in any way shape or form i take
responsibility for them but new y York was a very different city.
Like, if you grew up in New York in the late 80s, early 90s,
you had to have some kind of physical confrontation or somebody was going to treat you like a victim.
Like, if somebody wanted your hat, it was like,
nah, homie, you can't have this hat because you ain't pay for it.
Oh, well, give it, and that's where we start.
I lived in Jamaica Plain for a little over a year.
Jamaica Plain is the first place we moved to in Boston.
And it was a pretty poor and real mixed area.
And, God damn, I had to avoid everybody on my block or I would get my ass kicked.
Everybody wanted to fight all the time.
All the time.
Kids were always trying to pick fights.
They'd always talk shit to you.
And you're like, look, I'm going home.
Leave me alone.
And they're just constantly talking shit with you,
constantly fucking with you, big groups of kids,
small groups of kids.
And when kids are alone, they're loose like that,
especially in poor neighborhoods.
So they grow up.
Most of the times they're growing up with their fucking parents.
They're not having the best time.
That's why they're in a poor neighborhood.
So there's probably violence at home or screaming at home
or chaos at home.
And these kids are just fucking loose out on the street.
That was what really inspired me to get into martial arts.
I was like, fuck this, man.
This is too dangerous.
Everywhere I'm going, someone wants to fight.
I don't know how to fucking fight.
This is crazy.
And when you got the martial arts, then you could just call them out.
You had a big group of people.
No, you'd rather not, man.
You know, the martial arts make you just walk left or right.
No, no, no.
But I mean when you're backed into that corner.
Not go fine fighting.
I know what you're saying.
I'm saying when you're in that situation and there's like eight people talking reckless,
they'll be like, listen, homie, if you're a real man, why don't we just shoot the five right now?
Shoot the five?
What is that?
It means just go one on one.
Shoot the five.
Let's shoot the five.
I've never heard of that.
Shoot the five fingers?
Or we get the fair one.
That's what they call it. The fair one. The fair one. I one yeah over here in the west coast let's catch this fade homie you know what i mean but out there on the east coast let's shoot the fair one because
it's just me and you all we have is space and opportunity i'm amazed at how many dudes are
willing to fight that actually don't know how to fight that's always that's always amazing when i
watch them i'm like that's incredible you don't know anything, and you're out there scrapping.
Like, this is ridiculous.
They're doing the windmill out there.
They're doing the windmill.
They're throwing ridiculous kicks, and they have no training at all.
And you're like, oh, my God, this is hilarious.
This is like, this is a crazy idea.
You're willing to do something that's really fucking dangerous and risky,
and you're not good at it at all.
At all.
At all.
I watched a fight go down once in front of the comedy store,
and it was the nuttiest shit i ever saw in my life i saw a guy completely lose his ability to figure out what
he was doing like he was so freaked out that he was in a fight with this guy it was a white guy
and the white guy is literally frozen in fear and flailing his arms like this. I mean, he just was going like this, like waiting to get hit.
And a fucking bus moved in front of me.
And then as the bus moved by, the dude was laid out, stiff-legged, unconscious.
And the black dudes were already running.
Happy birthday, Mitzi.
Yeah, happy birthday, Mitzi.
Is it really her birthday?
Yeah.
How old is she now? Well, we don't say. A lady doesn't tell. We're giving shout-outs? To Mitzi. Yeah, happy birthday, Mitzi. Is it really her birthday? Yeah. How old is she now?
Well, we don't say.
A lady doesn't tell.
We're giving shout-outs.
To Mitzi, sure.
To Mitzi.
Shout to Mitzi.
Shout to my peoples, Anil Melwani, watching from the East Coast.
Snow the Product and her brother.
You know what I mean?
I want to send a shout-out to the whole Rebel Arms, the whole squad that's watching right now.
Everybody.
Ladies and gentlemen, don't go fighting in the street, even if you do know what you're doing.
Don't go doing that.
That's the last option.
People got to learn how to chill.
Right.
That's the hard part, right?
How the fuck does this world evolve
if we're still involved in all the wars
and all the craziness and all that?
How the fuck do we get past this?
The more I look at the life that we see on tv every day and the tragedies that we see in
the news and the horrific things that are going on all over the world the more i go there's gotta be
a way that collectively we can figure out how to stop most of this shit most of this shit that i'm
looking at is people doing shit to other people. We collectively stop that.
It's almost like because we're not dealing with UFOs or asteroids
or anything nutty outside of the earth,
all of our conflicts are being caused by people doing cunty shit to other people.
Like literally the whole world's problem is the whole world.
The people in the world's problem is the people.
It seems like
that should be the easiest thing to solve that should be the easiest thing to figure out how to
get past it's like we're like the crazy person that never learns from their crazy actions just
keeps doing the same stupid shit over and over and over the crazy person that doesn't realize
they're crazy like most crazy people don't seem to get i think what
we're talking about here is is really the the evolution and the de-evolution of mankind because
we have you know we're so close we have the ability to be on other planets almost you know
i mean we have the ability to create these lasers these incredible communication devices these
incredible travel phones 4g phones, 4G.
But we have not cured greed.
We haven't cured racism.
We haven't cured, you know what I mean,
jealousy, anger, hatred.
We're ruled by these things,
and people that can control them
and know how those function within the human mind
have more of an ability to control the mass than anybody else.
Well, what's interesting is that when things get created,
say something spectacular,
something destructive,
the people that are creating that thing,
then that technology gets put
into the hands of people
that did not create it.
They just have it now.
Right.
And that is always a problem.
When someone wields something
of incredible power
and they didn't even create it,
you know know you just
got it from so do you understand the whole process behind it what do you are
if you are the type of person that can create that are you the type of person
that would be willing to unleash it on people I think you'd be more willing to
unleash it if you bought it you know if you got it from somebody else it's just
we have the ability to do shit that we
don't have the moral evolution to cope with we have the ability to wipe out like giant
sections of the world in like real quick blasts and we somehow or another feel like you know
because we do it a little bit more precisely like in iraq like that's a little bit more precisely
you send actual troops in there instead of just dusting the whole area.
It's still a massive amount of casualties.
And they love to use the word, the catchphrase, collateral damage,
which I think is one of the worst excuses for murder in the world.
It's crazy.
It's crazy that you can just look at it that way.
And the sad part is the people who catch the blame are always the people on the bottom, the enlisted men.
Like even in Abu Ghraib, when I saw that, I was like, oh, okay, watch.
All the soldiers are going to get some kind of shit to them, but the people, the commanders, the officers in charge, the people who decided the policy at DOD, the individuals who were at the administration who said, yeah, this is fine.
Do what you need to do to get this. Those people that gave free range,
they always escape. They always
seem to have their little exit in
the back door while the individuals who
actually did it and yet bear
no responsibility for being told
to do it or being told this is what
we're going to do or this is
in the middle. Is that what happened in Abu Ghraib?
I thought it was just the soldiers
deciding to be fuckheads
and take pictures with bodies
and sick dogs on people.
I'm not going to say that
that isn't part of what happened,
but I believe in all of these situations
that there was some kind of culture
within the society that says,
you know what,
if you get caught doing this,
you're going to do the time for this
as opposed to whoever is on the top for it.
It's always crazy. Because you have the benefits of being here for this as opposed to whoever is on the top for it.
It's always crazy. Because you have the benefits of being here.
It's always crazier when a stranger is your enemy.
Okay?
That doesn't make any sense.
If a stranger is your enemy, one of two things.
Someone's doing something fucked up.
It's either you or it's him.
And you've got to figure out who it is.
And if you're in his town and you're carrying a gun, then it's you.
You're not supposed to be there.
Like, you just, the only way.
Looking for Al Qaeda in a country that don't have them.
It's just fucking crazy.
The only way you would have a stranger that's your enemy is if we were in a place where you couldn't communicate.
Well, we're not in that place anymore.
We're in a totally different world.
This isn't the world of 10,000 years ago when we show up in a fucking wooden boat.
We hit the beach and there's a dude shooting shooting arrows at us we got to kick some ass it's not it's this is
this is a totally different world we're living in now it doesn't make any sense but has humanity
and evolved naturally in other words if we took somebody from now and supplanted them into that
era would they simply act the same or if we took somebody from that era and put them in here now
wouldn't the results simply be the same?
I don't know.
I think, I would like to think
that we've evolved a little bit
or a larger percentage of us
have evolved a little bit
because of the internet,
because of people's abilities
to express themselves in a way that,
you know, Monsanto didn't really have to hear
from the regular people in the 1960s
when they were making Agent Orange.
They didn't have to.
There was protests in the news.
And if there's not a bunch of people carrying signs, you're not getting anything from the
people.
You know what I mean?
It's not like today when people on Twitter would go fucking crazy.
And any big story that happens, any big corruption story, any big...
We're going to boycott.
Yeah.
It actually has serious consequences.
Yeah.
And then it would be like, fuck X company.
Because people say, you know what?
I'm going to contact this person and you're going to have economic, and it actually has serious consequences. Because people say, you know what, I'm going to contact this person,
and you're going to have economic consequences by the end of the day,
which, by the way, is all that they listen to.
Well, by the way, today, Chick-fil-A, Roseanne Barr went off on Chick-fil-A
because the governor of Massachusetts, God bless his soul,
was talking about how Chick-fil-A is not welcome in Boston because Chick-fil-A has this –
it was something to do with their idea.
They have a very religious company apparently, and it has something to do with their ideas.
Chick-fil-A?
Yeah, they won't even serve on Sunday.
Yeah, they're closed on Sunday.
They're closed every Sunday.
They lose millions of dollars every year because of that. But that's just the way it is.
Fucking sandwiches are delicious.
The guy may be nutty with Jesus, but he makes a hell of a fucking chicken sandwich.
But apparently...
Or he bought a good recipe once upon a time.
Could be.
But yeah, I don't know what it is.
But whatever it was, whatever statements from Chick-fil-A were addressed by the mayor of Boston.
I think it was, right?
Was it the mayor of Boston or the governor of Massachusetts?
I didn't know this. Either one. Whatever. I haven't lived there in a long time. I think it was, right? Was it the mayor of Boston or the governor of Massachusetts? I didn't know this.
Either one.
Whatever the...
I haven't lived there in a long time.
I don't know who's running shit.
But whoever's running shit
essentially said
that they weren't welcome.
That's crazy.
You know,
that they don't observe
same-sex marriages.
I don't know what the fuck else it was.
You know,
whatever statements.
It's kind of funny
because people should be allowed
to think whatever the fuck
they want to think.
And who cares?
It's just a chicken sandwich place
You know
As long as they're not
Actively victimizing anybody
They can have their nutty beliefs
You know
I think you're allowed
To have your nutty beliefs
Even if your nutty beliefs
Don't jive with mine
You're allowed to have them
You know
You can't
As long as they're not affecting
Or hurting
As long as they're not hurting people
Yeah I don't know what the
Motivation was
But then again
Maybe Chick-fil-A is
Part of this big
Super PAC donors That say We're going to give money to try and affect this legislation.
Then it becomes different.
Then your opinion is not your opinion.
Then you're starting to use your money that you get from all of the things that you have to bolster this opinion and make people believe that your opinion is a fact rather than just your fucking opinion.
Yeah, that gets tricky, right?
It gets tricky when you can profit.
It gets tricky when you can profit off distributing your tricky when you profit off distributing your opinion, you know,
and getting people to go along with it.
Well, Joe, this is kind of what you and me do.
We profit by distributing our opinion on stuff.
Sure, but we don't have any influence on, you know,
the ability to, you know, control countries.
We're very simple.
Come to a comedy show, influence.
You know, very different. We're very simple. Come to a comedy show, influence. You know, very different.
Very different kind of influence.
I heard they're suing Batman.
Yeah, Warner Brothers.
Yeah, the people involved in the...
Because...
You know, I don't want to say anything bad
about those poor fucking people,
but someone apparently had the idea
that they can make some money, it looks like.
They're suing them for promoting violence,
which is ridiculous,
because this was the third movie in a Batman trilogy.
I mean, you knew exactly what it is.
The fucking whole movie is about a crime fighter.
And they were saying also that because of the movie,
the guy came in in a costume,
they thought he was a part of the movie.
And it was, you know, they...
But isn't that more the theater's responsibility,
because they were supposed to close that? knows man who the fuck knows look somebody
wants to do a full investigation but the sad thing is now you know people want to know
everything it's just i see the difference in between the way people are treated and i think
it's kind of hard to ignore you know and there's no specific cause right now that they have of his
actions however i know what it would be if he had been like, you know, he had like a Muslim
last name.
It'd be like automatically he must be a terrorist and this would be must.
He killed military personnel.
Right.
He must be a terrorist.
If he was.
He's actually scarier.
He's scarier than someone that's a part of some sort of a religious ideology.
Or if he was Latino, they'd be like, oh, he's an illegal immigrant.
Get him out of here.
Or a black guy. he's a gang member.
Rather than just being like, hey.
And I saw that circulating on the internet.
And I wonder how real that could potentially be.
Even to the fact of him being alive.
If he was of complexion that can't make the connection, would he be walking?
I mean, would they want to take him alive?
Would they just be like, look, just pop him. We don't need
somebody like this run through the media. Just get rid of him.
Well, I think when you get to
a situation like that, there's too many cameras on you.
The reason why they didn't kill that guy,
they might have killed that guy back in the day,
was that there's too many people with cameras on you.
And you can get sued for that.
If somebody has a cell phone camera and you don't know about it,
you can't just murder the guy right there.
You're fucked. Because if you do do that They'll put you in jail
For murder
Unless you're a cop
And you're in the Bay Area
Because he shot that kid
On camera
He's an idiot
He thought that was his taser
That stupid fuck
You really think that's true?
I don't know
But a taser
Is a fucking device
With a trigger
And if you're an idiot
If you're a fucking idiot
And you're freaking out
Because you're in the middle
Of a physical confrontation
With someone
And you accidentally
Pull out your gun Instead of your taser I mean I can't think that he thought it would be okay to shoot that guy like that.
That doesn't even make any sense.
It seemed more like a fucking moron move because the guy was already lying down on the ground.
He was resisting.
You wouldn't shoot him once you already have him down on the ground.
You know what I mean?
He was trying to tase that dude.
People do things like that all the time that they don't think they're going to have consequences for.
Well, if that's the case, he's a psychopath.
Because it didn't make any sense that he shot him.
It made sense, though.
Didn't he dye his hair like the nigga who killed...
You mean the new...
Okay, we're talking about two separate things now.
No, no, no.
He did dye his hair, too.
The new guy.
The cop dyed his hair?
The cop that shot that kid in the subway?
Yeah, he dyed his hair and he went to like...
They caught him somewhere else.
Really? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know know that you mean the cop fled yeah he bounced for a little while oh i didn't know that look it up look it up everybody looking up online i believe you i
didn't know that well maybe he's well maybe he just thought he was going to jail for life he
just up and he panicked who knows but he got a slap on the wrist and i i always joke about it
i joke about it how long did he get?
Nothing.
Hardly anything, probably.
I think it probably was a mistake.
I don't know.
But it's a terrible mistake. The kid, Oscar Grant, I mean, I can't even imagine how many more people ended up like him within that era where there was, like you said, no cameras.
When there was no one back in the day.
How many people have been the victim of that?
Yeah, I know a lot of cops, man.
One of the problems is you're a cop, you see a lot of shit.
You see a lot of shit all the time, and you lose your patience.
You lose your patience, and you become more attuned to the cunts of the world
than you would like to be, and you don't want to hear any fucking bullshit anymore.
It's a very, very fucking tricky job to maintain your humanity.
My question is this now.
You're always seeing the worst in people.
Being that I know that there are people out there who really do risk their lives,
like if someone's house is getting robbed or...
Well, how about this guy?
This guy in Denver, man.
Someone had to go in there and stop him.
Well, how about this guy?
This guy in Denver, man.
Someone had to go in there and stop him.
This isn't something that the community could just rally together.
No one had guns.
But my question is, the police that break the law, should they be held more accountable because they know the law that much better?
I don't think it ever.
Or should you get time minimized for example there's a case in in new york where a guy he got like a year probation
or something or it was like a year and one year in jail something because he killed a guy while
he was drunk driving and his his family is apparently connected with the nypd or something
like that but this is my question though. If you're a cop,
shouldn't you be held accountable to the law
even more so?
Because you knew it was wrong
to be drunk and driving.
You arrested people probably 100 times
for doing the same thing.
I don't think that it's ever been shown
that to put people in a situation
where it's whatever they're doing that's wrong
has more of a consequence.
I don't think that's ever been shown
to have any effect on their actions.
I think people do shit because they think
they're going to get away with it.
They don't do shit because they measure the consequence
and go, all right, I might do a year in jail.
Fuck it, let's ride.
They don't do it like that.
It's more of an impulsive sort of a thing
when people make mistakes like that.
But if people know, listen,
there's no way that I'm really going to catch
that much heat for this because who the fuck cares?
Right.
If I'm drunk and somebody pulls me over and we both play for the same team, you're going to bring me in?
Do you know what's going to happen to you after that?
Really?
What's really crazy is how many cops turned out to be corrupt back in the days before the Internet.
I mean, I think it's very difficult to be corrupt today.
But I think back in the day,
it was probably pretty fucking easy. I think it's slightly less difficult to be corrupt. I mean,
I think you can if there's money in it for you, you know, and I think there's levels of corruption.
There's harmful levels, and then there's simple stuff like, you know what? I'll fix your tickets
for you. You know, we're good friends. That's corruption, whether or not it's bad bad and people's kids are dying someone shouldn't have the ability to do that they say oh you know
what you're connected with me i'll give you the card when you have a problem you call me and i
take care of it right i know people that benefit from that i know people that have been in situations
where they may not be 100 right and they have a specific card or something like that and i'm not
denigrating this thing.
I'm just saying that at some point, you know,
are you more responsible for your corruption
because you know the law ten times better?
And you're enforcing it.
It's your job.
And you're enforcing it.
In other words, if you get caught for murder
and then you're off all of a sudden in five years,
that's only because you knew the law better
and then you still broke it?
Well... Or you're selling drugs to people? Like I said, I don't think that you can make people more responsible when you're
going to change anything.
You might make people feel better because you're punishing them more, but I don't think
you're necessarily going to change behavior by offering a bigger consequence.
I think the only way to change behavior is to change thinking.
And what I try to tell people is, and it this sounds ridiculous but this is something that came
to me on a boat once is that you got to treat everybody as if it's you living another life
we could all do that we could all do that if we could all picture every any person regardless of
what the fuck they're going through in your life think about what it would be like to live that
person's life from birth to death with their situation, their economic situation, their biological situation, their life experiences.
Would you be any different than that person if you were that man, if you were that woman?
Would you be any different?
Are you them?
If that person was born you, would they be you?
And are we all the same like that?
And is that what life really is all about, Is figuring out that each one of us is exactly the same.
We're just living through a different biological circumstance.
And the more you can treat everyone you meet like they're you living another life,
the happier you'll be.
And that's the only way we're ever going to sort this thing out.
Is everyone has to do things based on that ideal.
Everyone, whether it's business or personal shit whatever you do you always have to think that this person that
you're dealing with is you living another life and you can't let them boss you around can't let
them talk shit to you can't let them fuck up your life you know you do your best to keep them on
track but your ethic and your resolve and your your intent should always be to treat them as if it was you living a whole other life.
Unless you're somebody who hates yourself, and then that's just –
Well, you got to get your shit together, son.
That's a whole other trip.
Then you start fucking people up like, I fucking hate you.
Well, they just closed down all these medical marijuana dispensaries in California, or they just sent a letter in Los Angeles.
or they just sent a letter in Los Angeles.
Los Angeles has decided to step in in their infinite wisdom and shut down the only businesses that are regularly making money in all of Los Angeles.
It's so stupid.
It's so you fucking dummies.
The first American flag was made out of hemp.
Yeah.
Real shit.
One of the drafts of the Declaration of Independence was written on hemp.
I mean, who cares about all that stuff?
The idea that—
I do.
You know why?
Because I think it takes the story back and it shows us, listen, people made their clothes out of this.
People did everything.
Look—
Right, but that's not even the psychoactive stuff.
We live in a culture now where the smoke that causes cancer is legal and the smoke that cures cancer is illegal.
Yeah.
And that's fucking mind-boggling to me.
It's hilarious.
It doesn't necessarily cure cancer, but it certainly reduces tumors.
Right.
What I'm just saying that.
By the way, Tommy Chong, for all the people that listen to the podcast, Tommy Chong is
99% cancer free now.
Holy shit.
He just started.
God bless him.
He's been doing this hemp oil stuff.
And it's Rick Simpson is the guy who invented this hemp oil.
Apparently, it's this really potent form of the oil from cannabis,
and it puts you on the fucking moon,
and in the process, it shrinks tumors.
Yeah, so congratulations to our friend Tommy Chong.
That's awesome news.
Congratulations.
And it's amazing that this guy did it
with no chemotherapy.
He did it with holistic medicine,
meaning vitamins and food,
and not meaning anything crazy
like sucking on crystals,
making oh om noises.
Holistic, meaning treating the body as a whole, giving it nutrients.
Giving, you know, he does what I do every morning.
He has a kale shake, you know, which is a lot of people have been doing this.
And if you're down for health and vitality, man, there's very few things in life better than a really fucking thick, heavy, nutrient-dense vegetable shake in the morning.
And it does not taste good.
I'm not going to fucking lie to you.
I chew this shit down every day.
And every day I think about finding a way to pussy out of this.
Like, oh, man, just have some bacon and eggs.
Fuck this.
But I don't.
I drink this goddamn awful concoction.
I was feeling a little bit sick when I came back from Canada the other day.
A lot of traveling and shit.
I drank this shit one day.
By the end of the day, I felt great.
That's never happened.
Every time I get a cold, by the end of the day, I'm ready to go to sleep.
I'm fighting this off.
I got to take a hot bath the next day.
You know, it takes like a day to fight off a cold.
By the end of the day, it was done. Because I'm eating nutrient-dense shit, bitches. Okay? I go crazy
with it. My latest thing, I add coconut oil to it. Because Rob Wolf, who will be on tomorrow,
the author of the Paleo Diet, said that in order for you to get maximum absorption of
the vitamins from plants, you should have them with some fat.
The way the human body works, you should have a little bit of fat.
So I started adding coconut oil to that shit, son.
And coconut oil has been known to help people who have Alzheimer's disease. There's some sort of a connection between Alzheimer's disease and diabetes.
That it's almost like a sort of a cousin of diabetes for the brain or something like that.
And they're having positive results giving Alzheimer's patients coconut oil.
Coconut is a wonderful fucking plant.
What an amazing resource coconuts are.
It tastes delicious.
You can eat the meat of it.
You drink it.
There's oil in it.
It's great for you.
You can't think anything better for rehydrating than coconut milk.
The water from coconuts is the shit.
C2O, bitches.
Is there coconut butter?
No, coconut butter is good.
My favorite candy bar of all time is Almond Joy because it has coconut in it.
Almond Joy.
Is almonds alone good enough?
Nope.
Need some coconuts to back that shit up.
You know, that's what it is.
Mars.
Mars is even better.
I prefer Mars over Al over almond joy but it's
tough to just find mars damn you know you know what i found out last night joe you're gonna
freak out about this i bet i won't down the street maybe a mile that way there's a roscoe
chicken and biscuits or whatever waffles yeah there's one in pasadena i didn't know that yeah
you didn't know that no dude we should they open know that? No. Dude, we should totally. They open one in Inglewood, too.
Yeah?
Whenever we do Rock the Bells, we're going to do a tour in August.
I'm going to be back here on the West Coast, and I got a big show in San Bernardino. And then I have one on San Diego, Ventura, San Luis Obispo, Fresno, and all that.
But whenever all the dudes come here, that's the first thing they say.
Roscoe's chicken and waffles.
You can score the Roscoe's, man.
It's tough to beat that combination.
They nailed it, man.
And that chicken is the best fucking fried chicken you will ever have.
It's not just it's fried, just fried chicken or just waffles.
The waffles are perfect.
They're goddamn American waffles, okay, ladies and gentlemen?
Not this Belgian bullshit, these big, fat, fluffy fucking loaves of bread
that you're soaking up the syrup with.
No, it's a goddamn flat waffle, an American waffle with some badass fried chicken.
You can't fuck with Roscoe's.
They're too good.
I like it.
Especially with hot sauce, that chicken with hot sauce.
I always say, listen, if they open one in New York, they would make a killing.
A killing.
They would crush it.
They would crush it.
There would be lines out the door every day.
Same with In-N-Out, man.
If In-N-Out got to New York,
you know,
there's some people
on the West Coast
that have figured
some shit out.
Chicken and waffles
and an In-N-Out burger.
And the cannabis dispensaries.
That too.
Yeah, but meanwhile,
these cunts are closing them here.
It's so crazy.
It's like,
if Mitt Romney
gets in office...
Are they in court for this?
Or they just started the procedure?
I don't know.
They made a statement yesterday.
They ruled.
Somebody's got to sue.
Yeah.
The city council ruled, right?
Is that what it was?
Yeah.
But what I don't understand is how they can just do that.
Because a lot of these people are families.
And this is their family business now.
And they've invested so much time and money.
And they were allowed to. They're doing it because they have power and that they didn't earn they don't deserve it they're dumb cunts that's why they're doing it they're idiots the idea that
it's hurting anybody is preposterous so the idea that you're protecting people from anything is
ridiculous what are you doing what are you doing that's good for the common welfare what are you
doing that's good for the community it's what what you're doing is absolutely
illogical and based on a false pretense and that is that there's something wrong
with taking cannabis there's nothing wrong with it there's nothing wrong with
it health-wise there's nothing wrong wrong with it in and there's no one's
getting victimized by it there's no addictive properties to it I don't give
a fuck what dr. Drew says. Marijuana is not
physically addictive. And if you get addicted
to pot, you could get addicted to anything.
Who said that? Dr. Drew. You could get
addicted to beating off. You could get addicted
to playing with your eyelids.
There's people that are addicted to plucking hairs
out of their arms, okay? That doesn't mean that
plucking hairs out of your arms should be illegal.
It's fucking stupid. These people
are broken bitches.
This is the other thing.
I can't drive a car when I'm drunk, and I wouldn't try.
But I could definitely drive very safely.
When you're high.
If I'm blazed up.
People are silly.
There's certain things you can do, you know what I mean?
And there are certain things you just cannot.
Well, I don't like to drive high, but I could do it if I had to.
I do jujitsu high all day.
I do it all the time.
It's no problem.
I kick box high.
It feels natural to me.
It doesn't bother me.
I don't like learning new techniques when I'm high.
I like training.
I like rolling or hitting the mitts or something like that.
I like doing that when I'm high.
But if I was like someone's trying to teach me some new way to throw a kick,
then I wouldn't want to do it high.
Then I want to have all my faculties then I wouldn't want to do it high. Then I wouldn't want
to have all my faculties
and I wouldn't want
to be distracted.
But when you know
what you're there to do,
you get high,
you just get into that groove.
There's no physical
repercussions of it.
I have no slowing
in my reflexes or movements.
Just to clarify,
I'm not advising
that people get high
and drive.
I'm advising that people
get high and do jujitsu.
I am advising that.
I'm not advising people get high and drive, but if you want people get high and do jiu-jitsu. I am advising that shit. I'm not advising people get high and drive,
but if you want to get high and do jiu-jitsu
or do something that...
I swear to God, it knocks my jiu-jitsu up a notch.
Yeah?
Yeah, I believe so.
I believe so.
You know, I think...
Even with the delayed reaction time?
There's no delayed reaction time.
That's what's silly.
You know, people, first of all,
people are getting that indica weed,
and that indica weed is all over the East Coast.
Very hard for you guys to get sativa because you guys aren't in a legal environment.
In California, it's legal, so they figured out a way to grow the more psychoactively potent strains of sativa,
like train wreck and, you know, there's a green crack and there's the one called sage that we're smoking right now.
These things are fucking
carl sagan weed man this is cosmos type shit this is not the kind of weed that makes you sink into
the couch and the kind of weed that you get on the on the east coast we don't all get oh don't say
that we don't all get bad weed it's not bad weed bro i'm not saying bad weed i like that west coast
weed out there but no no i'm not even saying that. West Coast weed. There's a lot of great West Coast indica.
What I'm saying is you don't get too much sativa.
And the indica is great.
You get some?
Yeah.
It's hard to get.
It's harder to get.
Harder, yes.
And it's hard to know for sure that the guy who's selling to you is legit.
Whereas I can go to a dispensary and just walk into a place and they have the exact
straight.
Still can where I live, dude.
I don't live in LA.
It takes the violence out of it.
We're taking the violence out of the drug trade by doing that.
They're taking the creepy people out of it.
We're putting tax on something.
You're making money.
It's an American pastime.
Half the founding fathers were high.
They were probably high when they were writing the Declaration of Independence and the constitution yeah i hope they were it would have been a better piece of literature
that's probably why it's so good they were high as fuck when they were high as shit like yo what
should we do what should we do and then like the assholes among them were like hey let's put in
uh all men should be free and then let's just have slavery instead like fuck well it's amazing
that we haven't like wrote written a new one like how about we get together and decide like as a fucking race what's the best thing we could do for the
race and we should have all of our guidelines and everything agreed upon by you know the intelligent
people of the world we should have it not based on you know who's in power and who's in control
and can they manipulate that and make money it should really all of our rules or how society
has done should be for the betterment of improving our society but it's not it's not because there's cunts in power they're not
sacrificing themselves and their own pleasure and their own profit in order to help you and aid you
they gotta look at it as if everybody is you living another life or you can teach them to do
that or even in terms of of getting a profit. Nowadays, what is that?
It's a digital salary.
It's a bunch of numbers in a computer.
Or a sack of gold in a fucking deer's balls.
A deer ball sack with gold coins in it, you motherfucker.
I told niggas when I was coming here, I was like, yo, man, I hope that this motherfucker don't do nothing crazy.
Like what?
Don't pull out no elk penis.
No fucking crazy fear factor shit.
No fear factor ass shit. Silly, silly, silly.
No Fear Factor ass shit.
People always say that.
You got any bugs on you?
Hey, Martel, who do you think killed Biggie?
Oh, man, that's crazy.
How dare you, Brian?
Why?
I ask everyone this.
How dare you stir up an East Coast West Coast?
No, no, no, no.
You know what's funny?
I have a lot of support on the east coast Because that's where I'm from
But this is probably
One of the places
In like in LA
Where I could do
A bigger show
Than I could
In New York
I think it's just
Because New York
Is like 10 cities
Put together
And LA is like
20 cities
Well it's also
They probably appreciate you more
Where you're not at
All the time
You know
It's just natural
You know
If you're used to
Doing shows in New York
Everybody's like
Oh Moral Technique
He's here all the time He's here all the time But when you get out to LA They're like Oh shit everybody's like, oh, Moral Technique, he's here all the time.
He's here all the time.
But when you get out to L.A., they're like, oh, shit, he's here.
But I have a lot of family.
I'm always out here.
You've become notorious and famous and everything you've achieved is pretty much through the Internet.
A lot of it, yeah, but I think in the very beginning it had to do with me going to specific places and not just playing the big towns, but playing all the small places around it.
So you think you built it up
like a sort of a grassroots thing,
and then it picked up through the internet.
I learned this business from,
not only from people who were involved in it,
but also in terms of performers.
But I also learned a business
from a lot of old school Italian and Jewish gangsters
that ran the game back in the day
and were like,
hey, listen, let me just break it down for you, young brother.
Like, in the 1930s...
Was that the Jewish guy talking to you like that?
It could have been.
Hey, hey, let me break this fucking down for you.
That would bother you.
That would bother the shit out of me.
We had to kill Biggie for a reason.
No, no, no.
If an old Jewish dude said, young brother,
I'm like, oh, you're trying to rip me off, son.
What's going on here?
They were very, very... And these are friends of the family.
So it's not like they're sitting here playing a game with me.
They're just being very honest.
They're like, look, in the 1930s and 40s, people who are African American didn't have the opportunity to petition in court.
I mean, you didn't even have civil rights.
So when you're dealing with people who are trying to rob you and jerk you in terms of these promoters, they needed some muscle for their hustle. So it's different
for them to be like, hey man, can I have my money please? Or like, you owe Louis Armstrong
like $60,000 and you're going to give me and Avi over here an extra 10 for coming down
here and having to fuck you up. Or you're not going to have any legs in a little while.
Who the fuck are you going to call? The cops?
Rob Markman That's what they used to have to do in the
music business?
It was about getting money from the people that owned the theaters?
No, getting money from individuals, shaking people down,
getting every last dollar that they could.
That's why the business is run like a hustle.
It's run on some gangster shit.
If you look at the contract, for example,
the one that used to be prevalent rather than the 360 deal,
you have a point system where you're basically given like 10, 15 points, which
technically means you get 10 cents off of every dollar that comes in.
So 10 points is a percent, essentially.
The stuff you pay back in terms of the loan doesn't come out of the gross.
It doesn't even come out of the net.
It comes out of that 10%.
It's the most gangster shit in the world.
It's a way that you keep people in perpetual servitude.
Out of that 10% comes all of the travel expenses.
Marketing, traveling, pressing up.
Wow, that's ridiculous.
The amount of studio time.
Not evenly distributed between everybody.
Right, exactly.
Only goes to the artist.
So I think to me, it wasn't just that, but they also told me, listen, if you want to survive and have longevity in this game, then do it the old school rock and roll way.
Forget this mixtape craze that was hitting during the mid-2000s.
They said what you need to do is tour, tour, tour, tour nonstop, go everywhere, never turn down a show.
Where did you tour?
Where did you start this off?
Where did you start doing rap?
So Where did you start this off?
Where did you start doing rap?
I mean I could rhyme ever since I was about
Nine years old but I didn't really take it seriously
Like in terms of trying to put things together
I could rhyme when I was five
I did some Dr. Seuss type shit
I could put some real
No but when I was young
I would try to write little songs
Or little verses
And then I think when I got out of prison, I decided, you know what?
I'm going to take all these songs that I wrote while I was incarcerated,
and I'm going to really record them, and I'm going to put them down.
I'm going to find instrumentals.
And I went about it, and I started winning a lot of these MC battles.
They still have them on now.
They have some companies that run them, Smack and KMTV.
You know what's funny, man?
When dudes lose their head and punch the other guy. Have you seen some of that shit? I know a lotMTV. You know what's funny, man? When dudes lose their head
and punch the other guy.
Have you seen some of that shit?
I know a lot of people
that have done things like that.
Damn.
We shun those things in New York now.
Well, it's ridiculous.
We built a strong empire.
You're a weak bitch.
If you sucker punch a guy
where a guy's going off on you,
you're a weak bitch.
You can't handle your emotions.
Or if somebody's getting in your face,
like literally touching your face,
you've crossed the line, homie.
That's true, but there is some shit that someone could say that they deserve to get cracked.
Like if someone's talking shit about your mother or especially someone in your family that has died.
In the battle scene now, there's nothing that's off limits.
Yeah, but you should be.
Because a dude's going to punch you.
You talk like his mom dies and you talk some shit about his mom.
Joe, this is the difference between how it is now and how it was back in the day.
When I was around still doing these battles in the late 90s, early 2000s,
and really only in the early 2000s is it on video.
All the other stuff was just street battles.
If you said something in a battle, you had to be prepared to back it up afterwards.
Whereas now, you could say, I'm going to murder you, I be prepared to back it up afterwards whereas now you could say
i'm gonna murder you i'm gonna kick your ass and then after the battle people shake hands and
no mention of what's actually transpired so in the old days it was more real yes it was more
like a murder someone they might fucking shoot you when you're in your car we were all here in
a big cypher back in like 1997 or something and one of us and someone tried to jump in the cypher
somebody would test that person.
Like, what the fuck are you doing here?
And start battling them.
And whether or not they were successful
or even held their own in the battle,
they could stay in the cypher.
It was more exclusive.
People booed the shit out of you before
and were not scared to.
Whereas now they're like,
oh, yeah, well, he tried.
You know, no.
Fuck you.
Get off state.
New York was just the worst.
Have you ever heard of Pete Spratt?
Do you know who Pete Spratt is?
That name is familiar.
He's a badass rapper who's also a badass mixed martial arts fighter.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, he fought in the UFC a few times.
He's fought in MFC, fought in a bunch of different organizations.
But he's a sick Muay Thai fighter.
He's just a badass kickboxer. Very, very dangerous dude. But he's a sick Muay Thai fighter. He's a badass kickboxer.
Very, very dangerous dude, but he's also a rapper.
A rapper.
Yeah.
The last dude that you want to talk shit to in a fucking rap battle is Pete Spratt.
That motherfucker will leg kick you into oblivion.
I found our old rap battle of you.
Of you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The most delicious chips you've ever seen
are at your high school science fair.
The only way you win this battle
is if I let you.
You look like Captain Crunch's
overweight nephew.
That's pretty sweet.
Now, when you're doing this,
is it all, like, ad-libbing?
Yeah, it's pretty much freestyling.
You know what I mean?
Do you have shit that you, like, go to?
Like, go-to things?
I think every rapper has an emergency line.
But back in the day, it really was really, really very spontaneous.
It was off the top of the head.
As they refer to it, freestyling off the top of the head.
And then I think at some point nowadays, all the battle rap that we see now, Joe, is all very much choreographed.
Like in other words, you and I, it's run more the way the UFC would be, where you and
I know our opponent months ahead of time.
We train for his style.
I see you and I say, you know what?
His style is to find angles and personal lines about people.
I know what his weaknesses are.
I need to find it.
Whereas back in the day, you would come in a room and the wall would just be wall-to-wall
emcees, and they would call two people to come in the middle that didn't even know each other.
And then, like you said before, you had war with a stranger.
I don't know you.
I could settle battle rapping in ten minutes.
Settle it all.
Jiu-jitsu.
Stop.
Shut your mouth.
Lay down some mats.
Shut the fuck up.
Get in your pair of shorts.
Put a t-shirt on.
Ready?
Try to kill each other. Shut up. But that's the whole point. mats shut the fuck up yeah but at the same time your pair of shorts put a t-shirt on ready try
to kill each other shut up but it's a war but that's the whole point it's a war it's a war of
words you know what i mean yeah but it's not it's a more of insults no it's a war of like personal
insults at some point i think if you don't make the insults clever and there's no technique to
them right and there's no metaphor then it becomes anything because you wouldn't you and anybody else
could have a slug fest in the street and eventually somebody's gonna win but if there's no metaphor, then it becomes anything. Because you and anybody else could have a slugfest in the street and eventually somebody's
going to win.
But if there's no technique, there's no style to it.
But you know what?
You can have that just in your raps, period.
Isn't it better to do that than to do it in some sort of a fucking silly battle situation
where you're insulting each other?
I think to me, battling is something that refined refined the way that I did rap.
And just to clarify, there's a big difference between the way it was and the way it is now, Joe.
The way it was was that the winner got to come back and perform at the next one.
So there was something to it.
You had to win two battles.
The first one was against your opponents, and there would be several in the same night.
You would have a period.
And then you got to come back and perform a rap.
And perform your songs and music.
So you had to prove yourself twice.
The first time was against the other opponents.
That's a great idea.
And the other one was against the crowd.
And nowadays, what's been taken out of it, Joe,
is that advancement of somebody's career,
that work that puts in that says, you know what?
Not only did you come here and prove yourself
in terms of your insulting ability,
but now I have to see are you
really can you really write songs right is it really is it it's all you can do battle because
if that's all you can do then step to the left motherfucker so someone that really has an
opportunity to shine and worked on music can be in this position and show that to the crowd there
are dudes that only have like a battle rap game they don't have like a rap game i mean i threw i
threw a personal battle which uh there were two winners There was a guy called Nestle in a class big shout out to them and what their battle was was for the opportunity
And they're gonna have it now to open up for a short tour that I'm gonna do like a spot date tour for the middle
Passage so in that respect yeah
They have to win a battle against one another and then the prize is I have to now prove myself in front of this audience.
I have to show them my work, and I have to show them
that I'm more than just a battle rapper.
That's the biggest battle for me for any battle rapper to win.
To actually become a real rapper.
Right, to prove, you know what, I'm more than just a funny guy
who can come up with insults, similar to the way comedians struggle
to get a show or they struggle to get a tour.
Well, the actual correlation is comedians that work the crowd.
Right.
Comedians that work the crowd versus comedians that tell jokes.
Because there's some guys that it's an art to making spontaneous humor up
and where are you from, sir, and fucking around with people in the crowd.
There's an art to that.
But there's a lot of dudes that get good at that and they can never turn it into a bit.
They can never just go up there and, without interacting with people,
say, this is my thoughts on things and have it be funny.
They just can't do it.
They don't develop that skill.
So they just steal material from you.
No, that's another thing.
But we know a dude that's a funny guy, and he doesn't do any real comedy.
He just talks to people.
I mean, if he can't talk.
But the crazy thing is you can't do that if you're doing 2, people and you're you know 10 feet in the air and they're way down at
the bottom you gotta have some bits and that's exactly i think that analogy is pretty on spot
because if you're not battling somebody there's nobody in front of you you got to be able to make
it up right on your own it's like what if you don't what if you're that comedian that doesn't
have that one person in the crowd that came with a stupid hat? And you can't make fun of nobody no more.
Now you have to come up with something original, an idea that's all your own, that you own, that you put down, which is technically what you do when you make a song.
Well, a lot of them actually do.
What they do is they fake that they're talking to the crowd.
They are talking to the crowd, but they have like, you know, this guy says he's a fireman.
I got some go-to shit for that
you know if you guys you're from chicago i know what to say there you know there's like they have
like a bunch of shit that they can go to they're just like plugging it into the audience and
because it seems so spontaneous it actually seems funnier it seems like it's like a little trick
it's good to fuck around with the crowd sometimes i don't i actually don't mind a little bit of it
every now and then but there's a big difference difference between the kind of work that's involved in just ad-libbing on the fly and actually writing some shit and making it a bit.
Some people can't do both.
They can't make that transition.
So that's, I guess, like a battle rapper who can't be a real rapper.
To me, me and my brother, Poison Pen, I'm helping him right now in terms of with some sponsorships and whatnot.
But mostly it's just been him that's been resurrecting a lot of these scenes.
He's a very humble dude, my brother Poison Pen.
He doesn't like to say that he came out and invented the idea of having pay-per-view battle rap.
He doesn't like to say that if somebody wants to come and battle in New York, that he'll guarantee their safety to make sure nobody would touch him.
And they'll tell all the other goons, yo, listen, he's here to battle.
You put a finger on him, you're going to have to answer to me
and everybody else in the squad.
And they already know what it is.
So nobody comes over here and gets their ass kicked?
Unless they really fuck up.
You really have to be a real fuck up.
You know what I mean?
We guarantee people safety in New York because it's good for them to be here.
We want people to come to New York to battle.
Imagine if there was comedy clubs where you had to guarantee people safety.
Yo, you got to, man.
You got to guarantee their safety in order to do stand-up.
Holy shit.
There's a little bit, there's a little more of a street element, I think, involved in battle rap.
Because you have people come.
A little more?
A little more.
A little tiny, just a tiny bit more.
Quite a bit more.
But I think you'll find that there's a diverse amount of people that are battling.
Like a diverse group of people now that are battling as opposed to it just being two people talking about guns from the same neighborhood.
Right.
You have Asian, Latino, Jewish, white, Muslim.
How much swiping goes on where dudes swipe dudes' raps?
How much biting material? a lot of shit huh
there's some biters out there
Joe
there's some biters out there
there's some biting motherfuckers
listen to me
y'all live
we're live right here
on the Joe Rogan experience
with Immortal Technique
there's some biters out there
there's some people
who can't find a style
of their own
or they don't have anything going for them you know what those people are fucking themselves
leech off this nigga and they're fucking themselves really because you don't know how
good it feels to write some shit you know when i write some shit and perform and like whoa that
just came to me from the universe the universe told me that i'm doing the right thing so it gave
me some inspiration it gave me an idea i put in the work and i got a result and it just feels tremendous they don't get that they don't get that feeling so it's like
this hollow empty like whole feeling you know fill the hole and then and fill the hole and then
they're not really creating anything it's fairly fascinating it's kind of a fascinating way to live
life it's got to be a weird hollow empty feeling empty feeling. But you know, in the same respect, when comedy has ghostwriters, for example.
But that's different.
That's a job.
You know, when a guy puts together, like I know some great comics who do that.
But there are people in battle rap, and there are people in rap period who have plenty of
ghostwriters as well.
And I'm wondering, does that take away from, but that's the interesting thing.
To you, it doesn't't because in the culture of comedy
where you have somebody like a Paul Mooney
who wrote for Richard Pryor,
where you have somebody like
maybe a Jeff Ross
who now writes for this person or that.
That's seen as, okay, that's acceptable.
That's great.
Even the greats like Chris Rock.
Chris Rock used Nick DiPaolo
and Rich Voss rather.
He used, well, they're funny comics.
They're great comics.
And if people bounce ideas off each other, it can work.
You bounce ideas off and it helps ideas.
I think in hip hop though, I think that's looked down upon a lot more than it is anywhere else.
It's like, it's the kind of elephant in the room that people don't accept.
Well, there's a lot of people in comedy that don't accept it either.
Like guys like Louis C.K. writes his own shit every year.
Every year he writes his own new hour.
Every year.
And he's one of the rare guys that does it.
And not only does it, he does it while he's actually doing a television show too
that he also edits and produces.
He's a maniac.
I don't know how the fuck he does it.
It's really incredible.
He's on a mouthful pill.
No, he's basically obsessed with doing great shit
And the results have been so spectacular
He's just continuing on that
Obsessive path
It's amazing
Shout out to Louie because that's what I do
I write all my own rhymes
Nobody come up in there and says hey you should rap
Rap to this beat or you should rhyme
About that it has to be
Joey Diaz does that I do that
I don't really accept ideas from people.
But that's because I have my own shit I'm trying to work out already.
It's not that their ideas aren't great.
It's just at a certain point in time, I like to have it all come from my head.
And there's a difference in between taking something that's kind of half done
and bouncing it off people you respect and being like, you know what?
This is half done.
Write the rest of it for me.
I'll be back.
Comics give each other taglines, too.
Like, that's one thing that's really cool
that I really like doing.
I like doing that for someone
that comes off stage and you're like,
what if he said this at the end?
I'm like, oh, shit.
It's fun.
And then when you do it, it's cool
because if somebody gives you a tagline
and then you do it,
it's like a shout-out to your friend
every time you're on stage.
It's kind of cool.
I don't even remember the bit,
but somebody gave me a great tagline once and I would always think about them every time I would say it. It's kind of cool. I don't even remember the bit, but somebody gave me a great tagline once, and I would
always think about them every time I would say it.
It's my friend. Hook my
bit up with a little extra punch, a little
extra thing. That's a thing that
comics would do for each other. Do rappers write raps
for each other? Yeah, all the time.
Like if someone hears you doing a rap
and then says, oh, did you know that that
rhymes with booty?
No, no. I think it's more like that.
I think it's more like, you know, for example,
if you're signed to a major and you wrote a song and they like it,
they can take your song since they own your intellectual property
and you're signed to them and they can give it to someone else.
Being like, oh, yeah, you wrote this song for you for like J.R. whatever
and we're going to give it to this rapper.
It's funny that they used to be valid,
that that was like a real business.
It's like when you look at what a record label is now,
you talk about something that's been diminished.
It's them and the porn industry
have been like the most diminished.
Because of the internet?
Fuck yeah.
All of a sudden,
you have digital versions of everything you do.
Well, you don't need to go To a CD store
Where you might
Brush elbows
With somebody
In a trench coat
Buying a
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A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A And also, I think those places were embarrassing because you knew who was watching what kind of shit by what kind of aisle they were in.
If you would walk by, you were like, oh, you're in the German shit crazy section.
Get the fuck out of here, dude.
Yeah, you don't want to hang out with that guy anymore.
Even if it's like his own private thing.
It's like you're in the shit part of him.
I've never went to that kind of place with anybody That business got destroyed
That business and the music business
It used to be like the only way to get famous
Was you had to get on the radio
But now the internet has really completely bypassed that
Because the radio
The radio only works when you listen to the radio
The internet is a part of everything
It's getting so weird man
My twitter is so strange to me Because I'm finding out more shit through my twitter to the radio, the internet is a part of everything. It's getting so weird, man.
My Twitter is so strange to me because I'm finding out more shit through my Twitter,
through people sending me things about the latest discoveries, about Egyptian boats that
they found from, oh, they believe they found Atlantis and there's a new discovery.
Gorillas have figured out how to stop traps and disarm traps.
You find it's like a constant barrage of insane shit and information you're getting from people all day long.
This is so new to humanity.
We're not even sure the effects this is going to have on human beings
just in the next 10 or 20 years,
what people are going to be like with this incredible access to information
battering us with the reality. I put it on latin song we opened up the show with you know
what i mean i speak to those you know what i mean that that become socially autistic is that where
society is heading now that people i don't need to interact with you if i don't want to i'm here
because that's the type of dude i am i'll come to the show but everyone seems to be able to want to
call into life you know what i mean you meet'll come to the show. But everyone seems to be able to want to call into life.
You know what I mean?
You meet more people on the Internet that you're going to meet in real life.
You know what I mean?
Of course, yeah.
You would never have the opportunity to meet hundreds of new people instantly.
Right.
Or you have access to information.
Or you don't send letters no more.
You send an email.
You know what I mean?
You don't call nobody no more.
You Skype with them.
You know what I mean?
In some ways, there's benefits to to that it creates the ability to communicate with
people but what kind of communication because i've known individuals to severely misconstrue
a text or an email before that they can't get from a personal like i look at you there's something
about the way you stand that tells me what your intentions are, the way you move. And I think even in race relations, this works because people who have been exposed to different races or different cultures of people,
they look and see, OK, someone's rolling up on walking down the street.
You know, he's not a criminal. He looks like this motherfucker's lost.
I would be like, oh, man, you know, the highways around as opposed to being like, oh, because they're from here.
They're probably planning this or that rather than looking at their actual actions or stance.
Like in terms of a regular conversation, your tone of voice, you know what I mean?
The way you look.
Missing in text.
Yeah.
Well, again, you know, people have to treat everybody else as if it was you live another life.
Then you wouldn't have to worry.
You'd really this guy's cool.
It's cunts.
It's cunts.
That's the problem.
God damn it. As I said, that needs to be our You'd realize this guy's cool. It's cunts. It's cunts. That's the problem, goddammit. As I said,
that needs to be our new motto. We're America
and we're not cunts. And everything we do
that's cunty, stop doing it.
That's cunty shit, man.
I mean, unless people are making billions
of dollars off of it.
If you lose
a billion dollars a year and you don't have to be
a cunt, wouldn't you be happier?
Wouldn't you be happier doing your business, making half as much, having a 1,000-foot yacht
instead of a 2,000-foot yacht and not victimizing the world?
I think that's where American capitalism has the spotlight on it because let's say you
and me have a company that averages around $12 billion a year of gross revenue sales.
We're a success, but then the next year, and every year we keep getting a little bit bigger, $12 billion a year of gross revenue sales. We're a success.
But then the next year,
and every year we keep getting
a little bit bigger,
$12 billion.
But then you get into math
and you spend all your money
on hookers
and I gotta talk to you.
No, no, no.
I'm just saying,
one year,
imagine we make $11 billion.
Not even gross.
We're talking about net right now.
We make $11 billion profit.
What are we doing?
Are we selling anything?
It doesn't matter.
The point being,
I just thought I'd know
what kind of business
I'm in.
I'm so fucking successful.
The point being,
Joe,
is to a lot of people
in the business community
and to the model of business,
we're a failure now.
We're downsizing.
We're not going up
from 12.5 billion to 13.
Now we're back to 11.
People are like,
oh,
this business is on the decline.
We just made $11 billion.
That's just how they think.
You know what I mean?
If you're not always expanding, if you're not buying new people, if you're not buying new resources,
if you haven't obtained a good rapport with a government that makes labor laws very, very simple for you to deal with, then you're a failure.
And I think that's what needs to change too in order for people to see themselves and
other individuals.
Yeah.
There's going to be some karma free ways to do things, you know, and I've always said
like, we need to figure out a karma free iPhone.
When you find out what's really involved in getting the minerals to make iPhones like,
well, this is fucked up.
It may very well be some children in the Congo who are scraping the mountains for minerals
that goes into your iPhone.
There's got to be a way around that.
Is there a way around that?
How much would you be willing to pay for an iPhone
that's not manufactured in a Chinese suicide factory?
These places where they have nets set up
in between buildings
because so many fucking employees have committed suicide,
they've actually done this.
And people say,
well, actually,
the amount of people
that commit suicide in these places,
it's very similar to the amount of people
that commit suicide in real life.
Well, you know what the difference is?
That's not real life.
That's their job.
How many fucking people
commit suicide at work?
You know?
You want to talk about despair.
They're living in crazy dormitories
and they're jumping off the roof
into concrete to end it.
Well, I mean,
they're in a dorm. Yeah. That's Well, I mean, they're in a dorm.
Yeah.
That's basically, I mean, we're talking about.
The idea that anything, there would be anything okay with that is crazy.
If somebody, I'm not criticizing.
China?
The whole China.
But I'm saying, look, if you don't like prison here, you don't like the legal system here, you're really not going to like it in China.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? legal system here, you're really not going to like it in China. We're talking about a government
that is very authoritarian.
Something that the US, I think, really kind of
envies the ability for them to just tell people
to shut the fuck up about things.
Like, listen dude, we're doing all the...
Oh, you're going to complain?
Shut up. Now. The button's
been pressed and everyone shuts up.
Olympics are here. Take dog off the
menu everywhere. I don't want to see it because these people from europe and america that's their
best friend you know what i mean you you you might shoot a nigga you won't go to jail you
fuck with a dog yeah that's the white man's best friend you're going to jail dude you know that's
what they made them niggas they found all these different species of dogs and in germany and in
all these other places during the middle ages they bred them to be what they are today chinese
people ate the fuck out of them and then someone decided that they tasted really good i bet they do i don't know i've had rabbit
i've never had rabbits delicious i've never had dog don't tell eddie bravo though those were crazy
eddie bravo loves rabbits it's all good everybody picks their animals me i'm a dog man but i'm just saying like to me if if we're at a point where
society is just unwilling to move then what's the only thing that can rectify that a cataclysm you
know the only thing that can rectify it is information we gotta people have to change you
have to change who the fuck you are if you're a person that's part of the problem and you're aware
that you're part of the problem you got to find a path away from that. The real problem is you get addicted to life.
You get caught up in a system where you have a mortgage, and you have car payments, and you have credit card bills, and you have the, you know, this is for gas, this is for food, this is for, and you have these numbers that you have to achieve on a regular basis.
So there's almost no way you can detach yourself from the system and then start off with some new path.
It's like you need constant income. If you have a family, you need constant income. If path. It's like you need constant income.
If you have a family, you need constant income.
If you have a mortgage, you need constant income.
And that's how most of us are stuck.
Most of us are stuck because we sort of got on some sort of a path
and then we became involved in the system due to financial necessity.
It's like, no, I mean, you're not going to go homeless.
You're not going to have your fucking kids be poor just because you have a dream
of trying to make it as an author.
You're going to have to find a way to do both of them at the same time.
You're going to have to find a way to work around it.
You can't just detach yourself from the system.
That's why so many people have a hard time changing.
Minimize it as much as you can.
Yeah, that's why so many people have a hard time changing is they don't have the time for reflection.
And when people are caught up in any sort of fanatical pursuit, especially
financial fanatical pursuit, it becomes about ones and zeros. It becomes about numbers. It becomes
about adding zeros to the ledger. It doesn't become about your own personal growth and you
as a human being trying to find yourself in a better place in this world. It doesn't become
about that. That's the real issue. The real issue is the numbers trick you into thinking that they're real.
Instead of thinking that,
because they are real,
you can get things from them,
real things like a house that you can knock on.
You can get a car that you can,
you knock on that car,
that's a real car.
So there is something real that you get from it.
But essentially,
we've decided that those things,
that you can get those things for money.
We've decided that.
We've all decided that.
And because it's broken down to a number thing,
then that becomes the grand pursuit.
The grand pursuit becomes this crazy idea
that you need to stockpile numbers
at the expense of humanity
and that humanity shouldn't be put
at the very forefront of any of the decisions.
So all of this could have been avoided.
Everything could have been avoided if any company realized that humanity has to be first.
So if you're poisoning rivers, if you're fucking people out of land, you cannot operate like that.
There must be a humane way to progress and do business.
If it only involves littering and it only involves polluting and it only involves murder, well, then that's ridiculous.
This shouldn't be a task that's taken forth by people.
But because of the fact that you can get ones and zeros from those things, the ones and zeros have tricked us into thinking that they are the end-all, be-all.
By providing us with real things that come from the ones and zeros, they have sort of figured out a way to hijack our system.
But we have to realize that solid things don't mean shit
if you don't have your humanity.
So it's not about ones and zeros.
It's about humanity first.
Then it's about should humanity engage in this pursuit?
Should humanity, you know, drill oil off the coast
when it can fuck up like that and ruin millions of
square miles.
People were saying there was,
there would be nothing wrong with it.
This was a perfectly right.
And then we find out that it was all about ones and zeros.
The reason why it happened in the first place is because the company that was
building the well,
they cut a few corners because they were trying to make a deadline and they put
a less effective sort of a system in place.
And then it fucking exploded and killed people and fucked
up everything for a long ass time.
Why? Because of ones and zeros.
Not because of humanity.
It's the same thing with Fukushima. People look
at this reactor failing
and melting down and there's all sorts of scientific
explanations for why
it all went wrong. But the bottom line is
you shouldn't make something like that
if you can't shut it off.
You shouldn't make something where if the power goes out,
the whole place is fucked for 100,000 years.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
And that's a ones and zeros economic situation.
I think when you're talking about an element, though,
that has been refined, we're talking about U-235.
Nuclear power? We're talking about, when you're talking about uranium, you're talking about an element, though, that has been refined, we're talking about U-235. Like nuclear power?
We're talking about, when you're talking about uranium, you're talking about plutonium.
All of these elements that are created by mankind, these isotopes, they're generally unstable.
They might have the same number of protons and electrons, but it's the neutrons that flow out of them.
What I always thought was interesting is how do the neutrons know just to leave that there are just too many
that we all just don't fit
or that it was crashing.
Neutrons don't take
anybody's bullshit.
Neutrons just bounce
the fuck out
and it creates
such an unstable element
that even toying with that,
even toying with something
like that,
you don't know
because it doesn't have
a stable physical property.
Right.
There is no shut off
for it at all.
Well, that's what
the nutty thing,
there's no way
to cool it off, apparently.
Yeah, they had to use
whatever, water, ocean
water. Still not really cool at all.
And they don't know what the fuck is going to happen.
I mean, the whole thing is insane.
And it all happened because
someone thought that they could profit from it.
They needed power. They needed to
supply all these people with power.
And that became the way to do it.
It just seems so nutty. it seems so incredibly nutty and it's but it's either that
or what are you gonna do you're gonna coal you're gonna fucking you know have coal factories and
fuck up the environment even more and which one you're gonna go with we need some electricity
bitch right someone needs to figure out a better way than that solar energy but we get tripped up
in these one ways we get tripped up we get caught ways. We get tripped up. We get caught up in this one way, and we think that's the only way possible.
I don't know what the fuck the Egyptians did, but they did something.
They did something that allowed them to move these giant blocks of stone.
What the fuck were they doing?
What kind of power did they have?
They enslaved thousands of people and told them,
I'm going to move that stone.
Yeah, but it doesn't matter.
Even if they did that, how the fuck did they pull it off?
Even if they had thousands of people they had engineering at that i think at that particular
time what what we failed to see and we failed to realize is that look all of the documentation that
they had was lost in countless amount of wars it's been the libraries of alexandria was actually
burned they're burnt down twice um we've lost all that information but it still doesn't still
doesn't any in any way answer the question,
how the fuck did they do that?
Because what you're looking at is something that we can't do right now.
I mean, there's a lot of those pieces of stone.
I think we can't do it right now.
You know what I mean?
Some of them were cut from a quarry that was miles away,
and these motherfuckers moved these thousand-ton stone blocks.
Like, how about the Acropolis where the Parthenon is under?
It's under the Parthenon rather. These
huge fucking stones
that no one has any idea
how they moved them there. No one has any idea
how old they are. They just
somehow or another someone cut these giant
stones and put them into place and you just go
what? But I mean when you go down
to South America you go to see the Incas
you'll see that too in Machu Picchu.
Yeah absolutely. Perfectly
credible work. As if they were cut by lasers.
How about the Pumapunku
and all that shit up in
Peru? It's amazing.
Or how did the heads on Easter Island get there
and all that extracurricular shit.
Not only that, they found out those heads aren't just
heads anymore. They started digging underneath
them and there's whole bodies to those things.
Whole bodies and it's interesting because they're not
weathered. So they get to see the much more
intricate carvings. They get to see
their hands and shit. But the bodies
go way down low. There's been a
whole field of study now.
Now they're really kind of
tripping out about how... It seems very suspect
that they just didn't look at that before.
Like, oh, wait. Not really, man, because
it goes farther down. Two things. One, they didn't look at that before. Like, oh, wait. Not really, man, because it's sort of... It goes farther down.
Two things.
One, they didn't have the technology, I don't think,
to measure the Earth.
A shovel?
Like, no, no, seismic.
Because if you just dig down like that,
you could fuck it up.
You could fuck up the site.
And when they do that,
you're supposed to do it, like, microscopically.
When you, like, this thing that they're doing in Turkey,
this Gobekli Tepe,
this is one of the oldest
known structures that's it was it's at least 13 000 years old and it was built by people who they
thought were like at the time they were hunter and gatherers it throws a big monkey wrench into
that because there's these huge stone columns and it's you know nine foot tall stone columns with
you know exotic animals carved into them. Incredible, incredible work.
And it's all from 13 plus thousand
years ago. And it was all filled in
13,000 years ago.
Artificially filled in. And humanity is
thousands of years older than we probably
think it is. Yeah, much more.
But what's nutty about this one is that
they've actually found that
somehow or another was buried.
And they purposely buried it 13,000 years ago. My point was, they've actually found that somehow or another was buried and they purposely buried it 13,000 years ago my point was they've only they've only been able to
explore a tiny percentage of this site because when they explore it they use
like fucking toothbrushes and shit they're like they're looking for any
little thing they don't want to dig in with a shovel and break a bone that
could have been a skull you know they don't want to fuck up so they're doing
everything nice and slow. So they've only
uncovered a very small percentage of this place.
So it's not suspect that the
Easter Island guys never dug into that.
If they did, they'd do it really precisely.
Look at that shit.
It's amazing.
They thought it was just a stone.
Here's the land right here.
And then they're probably like, hey, look,
it's still going down.
I mean, these things have been in here for...
Sort of, Brian, but you've got to understand, when they did find them,
when they initially found them, they were so shocked.
They were so big in the first place.
They couldn't figure out how people made them.
It's not even the head, but how did they get that stone there?
Yeah, they don't know where it came from.
I mean, it came from somewhere on the island, obviously.
How did Snoop Dogg get invited in?
That's not Snoop.
That's one of his little homies.
There's other pictures of them if you find them online.
They're pretty interesting.
There's a lot of work that's been dedicated to that now,
and then trying to figure out how the fuck they did it
and what it's supposed to represent, too.
Why are they doing the same guy like that over and over and over again?
Who is that guy?
And, of course, that's where the ancient aliens come in you know those dudes those georgio sucalos
dudes we've had him in the podcast a bunch of times i love that guy i heard katie perry wants
to meet him like there was like this thing like uh reports get it up imagine if we we made her
and him hook it up and then he replaced russell No, if they met and we met her and then we stole her from George.
Do you want to steal Katy Perry?
Get out of here, son.
Yeah, I want Katy Perry.
Do you want to be her beta boyfriend that travels around with her on tour?
Yes.
Trust me, dude, you don't want that gig.
She'll force you to get fat again.
Don't do it.
Did you talk about on a podcast about how hilarious that Tim Heidecker
has been going
off on Russell Brand.
We didn't talk about it.
Russell Brand is an English guy
who's a really funny actor.
He's really funny.
Get him to the Greek dude.
Yeah, I didn't see that movie, but I loved him in the Sarah Marshall movie.
But he's
apparently he's got a talk show
and every time it's on Tim Heidecker destroys it.
He just goes after it and spends the whole hour writing hashtag vomit,
sarcastic shit about things not being funny, hashtag vomit, just shitting all over Russell Brand.
He's obsessed with it.
I think his new show is, I forget what it's called.
It's like something X or something like that.
Brand X.
Is it good? Have you seen it? No, I won't.
I'm actually not a
big fan of his. You don't like him as an actor?
No, actor I do like him as an actor.
But this is not an actor.
This is like some weird
talk show, isn't it? Or something like that.
But the poster is so
they have it all over sunset and
it's just him like laying back with his feet up and like i don't know it's did you see what someone
wrote on on one of the posters yeah graffiti were they right i'd rather watch katie perry's new movie
that's some loyal fans there you go katie there's some loyal fans baby what it says
where is it?
That's not the...
This is the poster that they did it to.
Yeah, he's wild.
Don't you get it?
He's English and wild.
Yeah, but if you look at Tim Heidecker, who does Tim and Eric,
if you look at his Twitter page, it's just one after another,
just hilarious.
He's just tearing them up.
Tearing them up.
I guess a lot of people Are saying it's not very good
He just don't like him
He doesn't like him
He likes Katie Perry
He's a warrior
Against mediocrity
I think yeah
I think he's just
Trying to impress Katie
You think so?
And I don't blame him
Could be that too
Maybe that
He's trying to get points
Saying yo look
Your man don't like you
He don't appreciate you
I'll appreciate you
Watch look at me
Destroy your ex
Maybe it could be A little bit of that You think? Trying to holler You really think so? don't like you, don't appreciate you, I'll appreciate you. Watch, look at me destroy your ex.
Maybe it could be a little bit of that.
You think? Trying to holler?
You really think so?
Why don't we ask him right now?
He's going to respond to us on Twitter, me and Joe.
We're saying you want her, just holler.
I think he's just a champion against mediocrity.
I think he just really genuinely thinks that guy sucks.
Excuse me, what are you doing to Katie?
Stop doing it to Katie.
Why did he agree to that?
Why did he agree to that photo?
Son, do you have friends?
Do you have friends?
Because they shouldn't let you take that picture.
I think when you get enough money, you're just surrounded by yes men.
Yes men.
Is that really true?
I think there's a way to avoid that.
There's got to be a way to avoid that.
No, there are some people that will say, hey, man.
For example, I have a lot of friends.
One of my producers' name is Salpore.
I've known this brother for over 30 years.
We went to nursery school together.
If I'm on some bullshit, he'll tell me, like, yo, man, look, dude, get the fuck out of here.
Does he have to tell you that sometimes?
Yes.
Definitely has to tell you.
Yo, man, like when we were doing the last album, like, yo, man, get the fuck up, man.
We got to get this going.
We got to get this moving.
Like, he's a good motivator when he's on it.
When he's on some bullshit, I'm the one that's got to motivate him.
Oh, so you guys battle when you're on the road?
Battle.
I mean, see, it comes on the road sometimes.
It depends on what the dynamic is, like what I need.
I have different amounts of people that'll come, like people from the Rebel Arms.
It's possible to not live your life with Yes Men, but you've got to be your own worst critic.
You've got to be your own.
I mean, a lot of people don't like to do that.
They don't like that feeling of being introspective, feeling of really analyzing yourself objectively.
A lot of people don't like that.
That's why they need someone to check them.
Because you have to admit your own hypocrisy.
Yeah, you can do it yourself.
You have to look at yourself, but it's finding that's finding that time see for me that's where the isolation tank
comes in you know i use a sensory deprivation tank it's like a tank you lie in with water
when i'm in that thing you there's nothing it's quiet and there's no i'm not seeing anything i'm
not feeling anything i'm just floating in that water and when you're doing that you're forced
to think about yourself you're forced to analyze behavior. It's like there's nothing else there to distract you. There's no TV to watch to
flood your brain with useless shit. There's no email check. There's no Twitter to check. There's
no wall to stare at and look at a painting. You know, you're forced to be alone with your thoughts.
So you're forced to analyze your life. And it makes me think that there's not a lot of time in
life to ever achieve that sort of same state, the state of self-analysis.
There's not a lot of time to do that.
And if you're not analyzing, then a lot of fucking you're doing is just running around with slippery shoes on.
You know, you're not getting anywhere.
You're fucking this thing up.
You're not looking at it.
You're learning a little bit here and there, but not as much as you could be if you just really spent a certain amount of required time to just analyze
your shit.
And this again, what people don't do.
So that and don't be a cunt are the two best pieces of advice that a human being could
ever get and yet those are also two pieces of advice they never give you.
That's really the simplest thing.
That's the only way we're going to fix this world.
We're not going to fix this world I I don't think, through some new technology
or through some actual genetic evolution.
I think we're going to fix this world through a behavioral revolution,
and that revolution is we're going to have to start looking at each other differently.
Let me ask, the other way the world can change, and since we are in 2012,
I'd be remiss from bringing it up.
People are saying now that there'll be some kind of
cataclysm at some point, some cataclysmic event. I think even though I don't necessarily agree that
that's definitely going to happen, I always say that I can subscribe to the possibility of something
like that happening. People have always said that though, man. Y2K. But that's not the point. Not
Y2K or the Mayan prophecy. Just the point that If something terrible did happen
Isn't that the time
When everybody seems to come together
Yeah
And if that terrible thing
Was permanent
And it wasn't something
We could just
Push to the back of our memory
And say
Hey I don't want to deal
I don't want to get in the isolation tank
And deal with the fact that
Yes we did sponsor
A jihad against the Russians
And when someone was
Blowing things up
there's some mom in russia right now who cried over her dead son back in the 70s and 80s and
her pain is no different than any american mother that's you know suffering because their son died
in iraq at some point if we don't put ourselves in that isolation tank and say you know we can't
escape this this is something permanent that has affected our well the real problem is the word
then we have to come together yeah the problem is the word we. Then we have to come together.
Yeah, the problem is the word we.
Who's actually doing this?
Who's actually doing it?
It's a very small amount of people that are actually in charge of the heinous acts of the world.
It's really kind of fucked up.
Small amount of people put forth the motion of a large group of people that work for the cause.
But it's a very small amount of cunts.
It's kind of incredible when you really stop and look at
how fucked up the world isolated people isolated cunts yeah yeah like guys like
guys like dick cheney remember when he was in that bunker all the time deciding what bush would do
what the fuck was that about dude would just hide in the bunker and we would just go up we're here
dick how do i know he's in the bunker i mean that seems really stupid i'm not even trying to find this out and i know that he's in the bunker you know what i mean what the fuck kind
of weird shit is that are you so confident in that goddamn bunker listen people like him are
in a position that they're in because they convince other individuals that they're moral
leaders and somewhat like look this is my only thing in terms of republicans and democrats when we have this debate and we discuss it they're they're both have to pander to corporations
however in my experience i've met a lot more conservative people that try to play pious
and like oh that's so horrible and as opposed to saying yeah we're all part of this you know
as opposed to just being who you want to be instead you lie about who you want to be and
then you're trying to pick men up in an airport bathroom,
or you're secretly selling arms to enemies.
At least just be who you are.
But at some point, you couldn't be in that position you are
unless you didn't convince people that you're a good Christian,
that you're a humble person, that you care about other people,
when in reality, you're probably not any of these things.
And you got into politics because it's a good fucking payday.
Well, it's also they want power.
Power too?
The reason why –
Or women.
Yeah, the reason why anybody who wants to be president shouldn't be president is that nobody should want to be president.
Nobody should want to be that guy, the one guy that gets to decide everything.
How arrogant are you?
You're crazy.
You're out of your fucking mind.
The position shouldn't exist anymore.
It shouldn't be a way where one person is thought of as our great leader in 2012.
It's nonsense.
It's a form of leadership, a form of hierarchy that exists in small groups of primates.
That alpha shit works with one person
when there's like 50 people.
One's got to be the bad motherfucker,
the leader of the tribe.
I don't think that that really is a functional system.
Now, I think that's the imagery the system gives you,
but obviously...
Well, I know, but I'm saying he should be able to abandon that.
He has a cabinet, yeah.
But not just the cabinet.
He has a plethora of backers
that have given financially to it.
And at the end of every election, these motherfuckers expect to get paid.
They expect to get what they gave.
If I make a fucking investment, homie, I want some returns.
You're going to do something for me.
I gave to you.
That's why Mitt Romney is so dangerous with this medical marijuana shit.
He's the most dangerous because he says he'll fight tooth and claw to stop medical marijuana.
Well, of course you will.
Someone's paying you to do that.
It's smart for you.
It's smart for you to get on that hustle too.
That hustle's a weak-ass hustle.
It's a dumber hustle. The Republican hustle's way dumber
because a lot of it is based on silly ideologies.
It's based on people that
don't want to think.
One of their primary selling points has always been religion.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I'm talking about.
Especially in the modern age.
And I would say more so after the Reagan era because one of the first presidents to really bring out evangelical voters was actually Jimmy Carter and not any Republican.
Really?
It's always attributed to Reagan's administration that they actively targeted them.
Jimmy had more of them.
Again, a down south, very Christian, humanitarian.
Peanut farmer.
Played that up very much so.
Man of the people.
But at some particular point, if we're incorporating your philosophy into it and we're incorporating all this stuff, I always thought about it this way.
If religion is the selling point, then let's sit in that tank where we move everything apart and we think about humanity as a whole.
In Egypt, 3,500 years ago, people worshipped deities like Anubis, Osiris, an anthropomorphic figure with the body of a human being and the head of a jackal or an owl.
You know why they did that?
They were high as fuck, son.
That's why.
Or they just prayed to these figures thinking that they were going to bring them food or
love or long life or a cure for sickness.
Money, bitches.
Right.
Everything that was real back then, that's real to them now.
Or that's fake then, that's fake now.
But my thing is this.
If we look at it from that perspective now as Americans, like, oh, that's so ridiculous.
Somebody's worshiping a statue like that with it.
Well, that's 3,500 years from now.
If humanity makes it 3,500 years from today and they look back at this time, I know exactly what they'll say.
They'll say, just as we said about those people, look at these ridiculous,
pathetic human beings that lived at this time.
They worshipped a dead guy
nailed to a piece of wood
and they couldn't understand
the most basic thing
he was trying to tell people,
which is treat others
the way you want to be treated.
Or they worshipped a dude
who you can't even draw
or people want to kill you.
Right.
Or at any point
took a position
that said,
I'm going to create the ability to just tell people something
and not have them question it ever at all.
Yeah.
That's the most dangerous part I think about anything
because you should be able to say,
hey man, if one of these things is illogical,
then all of them have to be illogical. If oh it's impossible for jesus to have resurrected okay but
it's possible for a man to divide the ocean for someone that the the prophet muhammad peace be
on him ascends into heaven that's the same thing to me or is the same impossibility but i think
that when you look at people's lives who live in poverty the reason that that's so that's so prevalent there is because their lives are so ridiculous because
their lives are so insane that i couldn't understand but that's just as as outlandish to me
as walking on water the idea that you know what i'm gonna have to drink my own piss today or i'm
not gonna fucking be hydrated or i have to go for three days without food or I have to cut pieces of my flesh out.
So you're saying that their life was so fucked
that the religion, it was easy to give them religion.
Well, I'll put it this way.
I'll give you a personal example
rather than using a hypothetical.
My grandmother, whose house I just left,
who I just, like I was telling you before,
I took her to Vons.
I always show grandma love.
I care about her a lot.
She raised 10 kids.
You know what I mean?
And God bless her soul. My my grandfather god rest his soul was a was a good man in his later years but he fucked
up a lot of things in his first years so he wasn't around a lot and i always think to myself like
there's something about the idea that grandma had that somewhere in the sky that a guy named jesus
you know what i mean with the mullet and the cut,
you know what I mean, and the blue eyes was out there watching it.
And she depended on that idea.
I'm not trying to steal that love and compassion from anybody.
I'm not trying to take any religion away from people at all.
I just tell them all the time that unless your religion makes you a better person, unless
it makes you less judgmental over people's lives, if it makes you more generous, if it
makes you look at people and say, hey, just like you said, you know what?
What if I was that person?
What if I grew up like that?
Then it's ennobled you.
But if it makes you more pretentious, if it makes you more of an asshole, if it makes
you say, I just have the real truth and everyone who doesn't believe in what I believe in is
going to hell, then your religion has failed you as much as you failed that religion, in my humble opinion.
That's all I would say.
Without that connection.
It's just an ideology.
And the real problem with the ideology is it answers questions that have no answers.
It doesn't make any sense.
It's not that there couldn't have been a Jesus.
Not that there couldn't have been a guy who came back from the dead.
How the fuck do you know?
I don't know.
Exactly.
Okay? There couldn't have been a Jesus. Not that there even couldn't have been a guy who came back from the dead. How the fuck do you know? I don't know. Exactly. Okay.
If you're talking about one magical act, let's just go hypothetical completely.
One magical act.
You're saying that magic can't exist?
Is that what you're saying?
I don't know.
Maybe it can't right now.
Maybe it did at one time.
I mean, isn't it possible that somewhere, somewhere along the line, someone had figured
something fucking crazy out?
Just like today, they figured out the internet.
Just like today, they figured out cell phones and bullets and laser beams.
Who the fuck knows?
What do I know? But what I do know
is that
you can't make
absolutes with human beings.
You can't tell me that
you know the answers because if you go back to
a science book from 100 years ago,
almost none of it
is like a medical book like medical science almost none of it is applicable like the things they used
to do to help people 200 years ago 300 years ago when they were sick or space nothing anything
right that's nothing and you're counting on the word of god from people who wrote it down
more than 2 000 years ago and by the way the oldest version of it is the Dead Sea Scrolls.
They wrote it on animal skins and left it in fucking clay jars
in the hills of Qumran.
And this shit is like 1,000 years older than even the oldest version
of the ancient Hebrew Bible.
It's craziness.
And they can't even acknowledge the present-day New Testament.
They're saying they're having a debate now about what language it was in,
whether it was in Greek or Aramaic.
So even at that point, we're talking about the inability to sit down
and precisely time something.
Yeah, that's what a lot of people don't understand as well,
that ancient Hebrew was also, they didn't have numbers.
So the letter A doubled as the number one.
And then words had numeric value, like the word love and the word God.
They have the same numeric value.
And that was like important for the way they wrote things.
They wrote things not just with letters, but numerically.
It's really trippy.
And apparently that's all lost in the translation to Latin and Greek
and like their original feel of those words.
But even Latin and Greek, for example,
those ancient languages like a Hebrew, Arabic, Latin,
Greek, there are words
that mean several different things.
And I think it's just a testament to how
basic our form of communication
is that in
rap and lyricism, I have to
create wordplay, double entendres,
things that have double meanings. This
that really means this. Can you imagine
writing in ancient Hebrew? That a metaphor and a simile where those aren't even necessary in other languages because it's
written into the actual words like I could have a normal conversation with you in one of those
ancient languages if we were back in those times and maybe not though maybe it was really fucking
dumb and that's why they don't do it that way anymore. Maybe it didn't come across right. But I just know English being a very basic,
you know, Germanic and Scandinavian type language.
Yeah, it's definitely different.
Yeah, I wonder what it would have been like
to have a battle rap in ancient Hebrew.
No, but you know, I read an interesting account
of ancient Greece and Byzantium at the time.
And it was said that even the emperor
Justinian, there were different groups the way we have red Republicans, blue Democrats. They had
the greens and blues back then that argued for different political factions. And it said within
several of these books that I read that even the emperor and other people participated in some of
these debates where it had to be at a certain tone.
It had to be at a certain tempo.
So essentially, they're politically battle-rapping one another
at some point for their...
As a speech, but it had to have rhythm to it.
It had to have a poetic...
No kidding. That's fascinating.
I wonder what that was like.
Do you think they rhyme things?
Is there any evidence?
When's the earliest evidence of people figuring out that it's cool to rhyme shit?
Probably when someone went, ugh, and they went, ugh.
No, but I mean, are there really old rhymes?
Like old poems?
Did old poems always rhyme?
Noah dropped it like it's hot.
Noah dropped it like it's hot?
Yeah.
For real?
When did rhyming start?
Who figured out rhyming?
You're a rhyming expert.
You should know this.
At Immortal Tech.
Who invented funny?
That's impossible.
There we go.
Monkeys laugh at each other.
You go to the zoo and one chimp will hit another chimp.
I'm saying a lot of words sound the same.
You never know who sounded right.
I know, but I wonder when the actual art of writing things down
and making them rhyme, doing them correct, and doing them in time.
Harry Mary.
Yeah.
Someone figured out that there was something cool about that.
Because there really is something cool about rhyming shit.
It makes it better.
You got to take a leak?
Yeah.
Straight out that door.
Last door on the left.
We got a show Friday.
Yeah.
Show Friday, dirty freaks.
1030.
Joey Diaz, you said?
Yeah.
Joey Diaz, Josh McDermott, Brian Redband, me,
and a whole lot of other people that we're friends with that stopped by, hopefully.
We don't know exactly what the lineup is, but that's the lineup so far.
But it'll be Friday night, 10.30, in the Ice House Comedy Club,
which is probably one of the fucking coolest spots on earth.
Been here since like 1950-something.
What was I just Googling?
Was I looking at... I was talking to him about something crazy.
I don't know.
You don't remember?
I know.
Were you paying attention at all?
I ate an edible and...
Oh, you son of a bitch.
It kind of fucked me up.
After I ate that edible yesterday,
people were like,
dude, Joe, you seem like you were on drugs yesterday.
Yeah.
Something like that.
That was a weird one.
I ate more of it. And I forgot. I was was just hungry i've been eating edibles a lot lately just because i
have so many edibles now and i'm hungry i'm like wow that it's a rhesus cup i'm hungry you should
get some food in your house bitch i know i really should um but being that high and listening to
honey honey was really freakish man oh i bet, I bet. Holy shit, they were good. Yeah. Her voice is incredible, man.
It's just, it's mind-boggling.
They're kind of,
like I was saying,
like, you're making noise
with your mouth
and it makes people feel better.
Yeah.
Like, it's weird.
I would love to be able to,
wouldn't you love to be able
to date a girl
that could play an instrument
and sing like that?
I think that would,
I've never done that.
I think it would be,
it would be different.
It would be sexy.
Yeah, it's definitely sexy.
Like she would write you a song for your birthday or something.
Silly bitch.
I don't want to hear your fucking crazy song you wrote about me,
you silly bitch.
Yeah, but what if she was like crazy talented?
That would be really fucking bad for your ego.
Some chick writing songs about you.
I think it would be amazing.
You're so vain. If it was good, like her voice was really good. I bet you think this song songs about you? I think it would be amazing. You're so vain.
If it was good, like her voice was really good.
I bet you think this song is about you.
You're so vain.
That was a badass bitch, Carly Simon.
Yeah, you got to be really careful if you bang a famous singer
and she writes a song about you, Warren Beatty.
People are really mad that you never answered who you thought killed Piggy.
Fuck those people.
You don't have to answer
that silly goddamn question.
I got a gift for my wife.
This is a real question.
Is Bigfoot real?
I think at some point he was.
At some point?
And they don't exist anymore?
At some point he was.
I mean, like we said before.
You think it's possible
in the Pacific Northwest
there might be
an undiscovered primate?
I'm not sure.
I've never been there
to the Pacific Northwest looking for a fucking primate. I think that's a I've never been there to the Pacific Northwest
looking for a fucking primate.
I think that's a good question
to ask people.
But we've definitely met
some primates on the road
that act out of place
and they want to play monkey
and they run into
some real gorillas.
I don't think that
is the same thing.
I think we're talking
about a totally different thing.
No, but they definitely
get the Bigfoot.
They get that Sasquatch stomp.
So that's what it is, baby.
I think that's a good question
to ask almost anybody
that comes on the podcast. Do they believe in Bigfoot? I started with Chael Sonnen. I's what it is, baby. I think that's a good question to ask almost anybody that comes on the podcast.
Do they believe in Bigfoot?
I started with Chell Sonnen.
I might have to talk.
No.
I've asked like 10 people.
Who killed Biggie?
Yeah.
What was their response?
All the police.
The police.
Yeah, the Rampart unit.
That was the Rolling Stones set.
It was the Rampart unit.
Yeah.
It wouldn't be the first time they shot a motherfucker with no consequences.
Well, not only that, it wouldn't be the first.
I mean, back then, you had to realize in the 1990s it was essentially we were in the
non-internet age people had not changed from the old way i got shot on the strip of vegas with
yeah how many witnesses yeah it's uh the internet age has really changed a lot of shit it's it's
not as easy to just pull something off like that right it's different it's a different world and i
think remember you know did you ever see cocaine cowboys god damn is that a good movie god damn is that a good movie
um and uh cocaine cowboys too as well just as good and anyway when they talked about that one
class the graduating class of the miami um police academy where everyone who graduated either wound up murdered or in jail for corruption.
Every one of them.
They were just crazy
gangsters. The whole
police department was corrupt.
That's amazing. I mean, we had something like that
in Harlem called the Dirty 30
where they were just robbing
drug dealers. Was it 30 cops?
There was such a gang
and it was the 30th precinct i believe
oh so i think what they did was that they would just continuously rob drug dealers
harass individuals for money and they were extorting dealers at the time jesus it was crazy
one of my one of my um one of my friends fathers um said that at a particular time the cops came in
raided what he had and said, you know what?
We're going to give you, we're taking the money
but we're going to leave the stash
and we're going to make sure nobody fucks with you
and we're going to give you extra stash
here. We got some more
smack for you. Press up, do whatever
you want and then
we'll come back and we'll take a percentage and you can
have your whatever the fuck cut. He said this went on
for a couple of months and he was like, yo, you know what?
Finally, I'm out of this.
He said he don't even know what happened to his friend that was into it with 5-0.
He said basically, you know what?
So the police made some sort of a deal where they would take a piece of the action.
Right, absolutely.
It's such a slippery slope.
If you're a cop and you start doing illegal shit, you really can't stop.
I mean, how do you stop and become a good cop again?
It's so hard for them to stop.
Plus, drug dealers, they don't give a fuck about no badge, homie.
You stole $10 million from me.
I'm going to fucking kill you.
Yeah.
I'm going to kill your family.
You're just a person.
At the end of the day, you're just a person.
And that's the creepiest thing that a cop could think of is that they're in a gang.
It's their gang versus your gang.
But I mean, keep it real,
that's kind of what it is.
You fuck with one of them,
they'll come get you
and they're not playing.
Of course, yeah.
That's how you have to be
because that's why they...
Look, if they're protecting good people
from crime, that's all good.
It's when they become...
The people that are perpetrating the crime,
that sort of a situation becomes problematic.
Or they become the protector of those individuals.
Someone once said that they only exist in a society
where you have such a distinction between poor and rich.
Then if people were equal in a society,
they wouldn't even ask for help.
The problem with people being equal is free will and activity and the environment.
You would have to do a lot to make people equal.
And it wouldn't involve just the people who are poor.
It would involve everybody.
And it's the process of thousands of years of human behavior.
It's not a simple process.
There's people that are always going to be lazy cunts.
And I don't know how do you fix that but
when you give people this is the reality of a welfare state the reality of a welfare state is
as a community we should always be willing to help our brothers and sisters and help people
who have experienced uh circumstances beyond their control and have a community like stand
up for each other you know when you know i know people who their houses burned down and their folks next door let them move into the basement with their
whole family until they rebuilt their house up again like that kind of stuff is fucking beautiful
i love hearing shit like that that's human beings helping other human beings but there's a difference
between that and then giving people something when they're poor and they don't have to do anything
for it that's a there's a real problem with human beings and when you get people used
to money for nothing, they get lazy
as fuck. They have no reason to
do anything. It's just natural human behavior.
It sort of, it feeds into
some baby shit that you,
and so these people, without developing
any character, without developing, and having
everyone around them living the same way
so they're imitating their atmosphere, and then
having the situation where it seems like there's no way out of it.
So it becomes a point of despair, a point of acceptance, and this laziness becomes a part of culture.
There's nobody to challenge.
And that, in essence, is kind of a microcosm for what corporations get in terms of their corporate welfare.
They're used to having a government that they can fucking give money to, that they can work with.
They're used to being able to grease palms in order to get things passed that are illegal.
They're used to saying, oh, this isn't illegal?
Well, guess what?
What good is a fucking law if you can't rewrite it?
Because then that affects millions of other people's lives.
To me, when I look at the rich-poor divide, it was funny.
My grandmother said some funny thing to me at the table today.
She goes, you know, rich people need to be in our prayers too and i said yeah he said you know people pray for poor people all the time
she told me he said but we need to pray for rich people too because unfortunately their god is money
and they're lost some of them are lost and they just don't know what the hell they're doing and
how much they're hurting people well now mind you i'm not i'm not a religious you know what do you
mean then they're hurting people but no no no no do you mean? They're hurting people by being rich? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying they're hurting people by being rich.
But if you think that you can just solve everything with money and that is what your primary focus is, because unfortunately—
They're not trying to solve everything with money.
They're just trying to rack up a good score.
But it's not even that.
It's now they think that that particular piece of number behind them makes them better than other people.
And in some cases.
It's a score.
And in some cases, they can live a, no, actually.
Well, they do.
In most cases, they live a much better life.
Well, it's a game.
Capitalism is a game.
Capitalism is not the problem.
It's the abandonment of humanity while pursuing capitalism.
It's not pursuing a game.
It's pursuing a game but without any worries
about the consequences
of the environment
or the human cost.
But I don't think
we play real capitalism.
It doesn't have to be that way.
Real capitalism involves
other people
that have competition.
When we go to a country
and we engage
in a kleptocracy
to take over things,
that's not real capitalism.
They don't have
their own little
African diamond company
that competes with
De Beers and the rest of them.
What they have
is a monopoly.
They might have the semblance of what capitalism is within the confines of certain sectors
of the United States.
But outside of this country, real capitalism doesn't exist that way.
Our relationship with England and that capitalist relationship is the difference from, is very
different from our relationship with, let's say, Colombia and that relationship with capitalism
where we say we're going to prop up a state by, it doesn't matter what the human rights violations
are, we're just going to prop you motherfuckers up and you're going to get us what we want,
which is control of the particular region.
You have the Atlantic and you have the Pacific, your neighboring countries.
Well, it comes down to the same thing.
Don't be a cunt.
It really comes down to behavior.
It comes down to the same goddamn thing, everywhere you go.
You could wrap it up in capitalism or economic gain or call whatever the fuck you want to call it the real problem is doing things at the expense of other people
fucking people up it's not whether or not people are rich and it's not the the problem with you're
not going to have any equality until everybody is equal that's never no one's ever equal in this
fucking world no one's going to be
equal. Someone's going to be smarter. They're going to be
faster. They're going to have a bigger dick. There's no
equal. You got your fucking roll of the dice.
Now you need to make hay, motherfucker.
And that's what's missing in a welfare
state. And the problem with the idea
that everybody has to be equal. No, you
have to work harder to be
equal. But you have to also have an
even playing field, which we don't even have that.
So it's not even that people are impoverished and there's a direct path.
No, it's that people are impoverished and there's no training.
There is no education.
There is no protection from their environment, the violence that comes with a poor environment.
There's no interest in them making them into able-factors parts of society.
You know why?
Because they can make money for us in the prison system.
And this is what we're going to advance.
They can also make money.
See, that's just because that system's in control.
It's been hijacked.
You can make money from having, look, if you have money, big money for defense contractors in Iraq and rebuilding companies like, you know, like Halliburton that come in and build shit back up after we blow it
the fuck apart. Well, then you could also have
big contracts to shape up
ghettos. You could have the same kind of...
To rebuild Detroit. Exactly.
Have the same kind of money involved
in putting forth some sort
of an effort to
fulfill
the potential of young
human beings. To take young human beings in any sort of impoverished area
where they don't have a whole lot to look forward to,
they don't have a whole lot of options, and provide those.
I've always said, if you want to strengthen a country, make less losers.
You want less people robbing people, less people in jail, more people producing.
The only way to do that is to take care of the most important resource we have, and that's
young people. That's babies. That's
children. And where's the life
becoming the most fucked up? Where is it?
Well, in the most impoverished areas. It's the most difficult.
It's harder to get away from the crime
and the gangs. Well, we need to correct
that. No politician has ever
lifted a fucking finger for that because
they can't make money. We have to figure
out a way to make money and fixing things up. We have to figure out a way where halliburton gets on mushrooms and
they go we're going to rebuild ghettos instead of going over to fucking iraq and blowing shit up and
then rebuilding it back let's rebuild you know let's rebuild ghettos but i think the problem is
that even if you wanted to do it and even if they agreed to do it there would always be some kind of
hidden agenda there like you know well that's because they're not on mushrooms we're gonna we're gonna rebuild
the ghetto so that we can turn all of these kids that are coming out of here only soldiers if you're
a cunt if you weren't a cunt you wouldn't do that so it goes back to my thing don't be a cunt don't
be a cunt that's everything that is everything the buddha doesn't teach that shit to put on
the t-shirt yeah somebody else do it.
Right now.
Go make some money.
Don't be a cunt.
No, no, just get like a little Buddha right there on a t-shirt.
Buddha says don't be a cunt.
Buddha says on the back, don't be a cunt.
I think I'm going to have an American flag one.
It's just going to say, we're America and we're not cunts.
Because I think that's even better.
That's the perfect ideal.
Everybody looks at America.
We don't look at America.
I'm an American.
And then the back, it says, but I'm not a cunt.
That too.
But I think it's better to say it
all in one sentence. We're America and we're not
cunts. Or we have the best cunts.
Do we? Like girls.
I don't think we do. Girl cunts. I think Brazil's got
his beat. No.
Maybe Japan. Shit's dirty.
Shut your fucking mouth.
Joe is Team Brazil. Big shout out to everybody.
Hold on. Big shout out to everybody that's
listening from Brazil and from Japan. Yeah, we get people listening to us from everywhere. Big shout out to Brazil. Big shout out to everybody. Hold on, hold on. Big shout out to everybody that's listening from Brazil and from Japan.
Yeah, we get people listening to us from everywhere.
Big shout out to Brazil.
Big shout out to Tijuana.
I met a lot of people in San Diego that came up from Tijuana.
TJ.
Yeah, that's a fucking long trip, man.
You're a Mexican dude.
You want to go see some comedy?
They're like, yeah, right.
You got to answer some fucking questions.
Dog sniff your car for everything that ever has been invented.
All right, you dirty bitches.
This podcast is over.
Thanks, brother.
It was awesome.
Good time.
We're almost at three hours.
So at three hours, our podcast becomes a pumpkin.
I wanted to give you this gift before we get out of here.
Okay.
What is it, man?
This is a Mortal Technique t-shirt.
Oh, shit.
Brian's got one on right now, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah.
I'm looking at Ustream.
Here we go.
Check out Brian.
And then I got the album I had just given him and then the other albums that I did. And you got a Death Squad t-shirt on, son. Brian's got one on right now, ladies and gentlemen. Looking at Ustream. Check out Brian.
I got the album I just given him and then the other albums.
You got a Death Squad t-shirt on, son.
Bang, bang, bang.
His Death Squad t-shirts are available at deathsquad.tv, ladies and gentlemen. And I got this documentary movie.
It's with myself, also Cornel West, Ice-T, KRS-One, Chuck D, Woody Harrelson.
Oh, they do a documentary on you?
Yeah, and also
It's about artistic freedom
And stuff like that
You can get it at
Viperrecords.com
Directed by my friend
Cary Stewart
Dude you have your own
Documentary
Yeah but we got
That's pretty sporty
Trying to be as
As focused as I can
You gotta be humble
When you have your own
Documentary man
It's a real problem
Get your own documentary man
It's hard not to think
If I don't shout out
the following people,
they're going to go crazy.
Big shout out to
Swayve Sever, Diabolical King.
These are the first shout outs ever
in the history of the
Joe Rogan Experience podcast.
C.F., Hassan, Static, G.I. Joe,
J. Arch, Chino Excel,
Bouted, Poison Pen,
Rebel Arms Forever.
You already know,
Stronghold, baby.
Shout out to Alienware MMA.
Follow Alienware MMA on Twitter.
They provided us with these badass computers.
We support them because they support mixed martial arts fighters.
There's a lot of fighters that are supported by Alienware.
And I just am a big fan of supporting companies that help out fighters,
especially guys up and coming, and sponsor them.
And Alienware does that.
So thank you to them.
Thank you to Honor.com.
Go to O-N-N-I-T.
Get yourself some Alpha Brain, son.
I was on it the entire podcast.
I was like, damn, where's Joe Rogan coming up with these ideas?
I tell you, it's weed and Alpha Brain combined.
Weed, Alpha Brain, and then that creates the octopus with the fucking shark head.
A shout-out to all you silly bitches in the L.A. City Council
that decided to ban these medical marijuana dispensaries.
You all need to do some fucking yoga classes while you're high
on a pot brownie so you understand
what the fuck you're blocking. You're blocking
evolution. You're blocking love.
You're blocking
camaraderie and you're blocking
medicine from sick people. You're blocking
medicine that can cure cancer
like cured Tommy Chong's fucking cancer.
You're making it difficult for something awesome to get around.
That's what you're doing.
You think you're protecting people from crime.
You're not.
You're just making it difficult for something awesome to get around.
Pot is awesome, and you need some fucking pot.
Everybody who wants to stop pot needs pot.
That's reality.
Pot is love.
God is love.
Go to haunted.com.
Get yourself some AlphaBrain.
Get yourself some Shroom Tech Sport.
It's part of the history of America. Don't
deny it. That's just what it is. Don't deny it, you dirty bitches.
Don't deny it. Get yourself some kettlebells
and put in a fucking
manly workout. Get some battle
ropes from Onnit.com. Get your
swole on, kid. Increase
your libido. Increase your
thrusting power. You gotta have those strong
lower back muscles to put a
hard fucking on somebody.
What is this you're showing us,
Brian?
It's half shark,
half octopus.
Oh, there's a real thing?
It's called shark octopus.
You said that
and you didn't even know?
I know that.
I know somebody.
I know somebody.
Oh, look at it.
It's hilarious.
Get the fuck out of here.
Oh, this thing is awesome.
Shout out to Olive Garden.
Yeah, shout out to...
All right,
on it.com,
gay subs and kettlebells. Oh, what the fuck... All right, onnit.com. Get yourself some kettlebells.
What the fuck?
Use the code name Rogan, and you will save yourself 10% off Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Bone Strong.
We got a bone-strengthening supplement, ladies and gentlemen.
All the information and the science behind all this stuff is at onnit.com.
O-N-N-I-T.
Use the code name Rogan.
Save yourself 10% off.
But we can't give any more money off the kettlebells Because they're as cheap as we can sell them
You can't get any better battle ropes
You can't get any cheaper battle ropes
Go get them you dirty bitches at honor.com
Look at this
Shock the puss is the greatest thing of all time
We out of here
Thank you to Immortal Technique
Follow him on Twitter
Immortal Tech
T-E-C-H
On Twitter
And follow Brian Redband
R-E-D-B-A-N
Death Squad Super Show
Friday night 10.30,
here at the Ice House with Mad Flavor,
a.k.a. Joey Diaz.
Brian Redband right in front of me.
Josh McDermott, our pal, originally from Phoenix, Arizona.
What show is he on?
What is that show again?
What show is Josh on?
He's on a show.
Retired at 35, I think it is.
Well, we'll find out when we see him.
He'll be on the
Ice House Chronicles as well
Which is only available
On Desk Squad
On iTunes
So go check that out
We love you guys
And we'll see you tomorrow
With Rob Wolf
The inventor of the paleo diet
Friday it's Maynard from Tool
Holla
I'll see you all in August
When I come back for this tour
Immortal Technique
Ladies and gentlemen
I'm out of here baby
He will return
He will return
Please pass your bedtime
Okay
How did you afford All that polo I know you didn't pay for it Whoa Alright man Ladies and gentlemen, he will return.