The Joe Rogan Experience - #2446 - Greg Fitzsimmons

Episode Date: January 31, 2026

Greg Fitzsimmons is a comedian, actor, and writer, host of “Fitzdog Radio,” and co-host of “Sunday Papers” and “Childish.” He will be touring in 2026.www.youtube.com/@GregFitzsimmonsComedywww.sundaypapers.netwww.childishpod.comwww.gregfitzsimmons.com Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joe Rogan podcast, checking out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Oh, Alphabet? I just take some alpha brain, so I'm going to be fucking sharp. I've got this stuff, too, if you want it. It's an energy drink that also has neutropics in it. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, good stuff. Yeah. Gregory. Joseph. Good to see you, my friends. Good to see you, man. World's on fire. World is on fire.

Good time for you to come in. Woo. I mean, I literally. I mean, talked about being addicted to your scroll. I got to really put the fucking phone down sometimes. I know. Yeah. It's not good.

No. It's not good for your brain to see all the problems of the world, all piling. And everything looks like it's about to blow up. Yeah. Iran looks like it's about to blow up. They're talking about going to Cuba. Don Lemon went to jail. It's like, it's all crazy.

It's like, what's next? You know, when jail gives you lemons. And it's also like, what's that whole theory about where only, supposed to be exposed to like 200 people in our life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Dunbar's number. Yeah, yeah, right. You only can keep that many people in your head.

But you should only know about that many divorces and that much cheating and that much killing as would happen within 200. And crime and you fill in the blank. Right. Fraud, waste, abuse, international politics, restrictions on speech in England. Yeah. You said this fucking crazy story? this guy in England an illegal alien

was a squatter in his house the court ruled that because he didn't live in the house the guy didn't live in the house who was an empty house they gave him the house they gave the squad of the house the squatter sold it for 540 grand

Squatter sold his house took his house because he was living and this guy was like a pensioner he was just a guy who had like an extra house like a fucking investment property. You're right. And this guy moved into it.

Have you seen it, Jamie? I'm seeing something from a year ago? I don't know. Somebody sent it to me today. They had that in New York. Back in the 70s and 80s, there was a lot of empty units like down on the Lower East Side. Like Topkin Square Park area, there was a lot of squatting. Yeah, this is it.

Squatter moved in the pensioner's empty home, then won the legal right to keep it and sold the house for 500, I guess, 540, is that euros or pounds? Is that pounds? What's that weird? Pounds, yeah. England has pounds still. That's fucking crazy. So crazy. England has lost its fucking mind.

It's almost like they want people to either revolt or completely submit. It's one or the other. It's like you're either begging for a revolution or you're begging for people to completely submit. They've arrested 12,000 people this year for social media posts. Oh, that's right. And most of it is criticizing immigration. Just criticizing immigration. Just saying immigration sucks.

We should send these people back home. Cops show over your door. Right, right. Crazy. Well, TikTok is now not allowing people to post anything that is anti-ice. Not just that. You can't post the juice box emoji. What's that?

Because it's code for Jews. Because people were using it because they were blocking content where they were criticizing Israel. Wait, why is it juice box juice? I don't know. Juice. Juice. Juice. Juice.

Juice. It is funny. But did they block the use? This is somebody sent me this. I haven't verified this. Did they block the use of the word Epstein? I mean, I saw, I don't, I'm not on the app, but I saw a video of someone trying, you know. Yeah, let's run that through perplexity.

And ask if it's. See if perplexity will rat out TikTok. Right, because that's... It's so crazy that they would do it because they just purchased it, right? So it was just purchased by some... What is the group? Did Larry Ellison's group purchase it? Yes.

Okay. Which is a tremendous supporter of Netanyahu in Israel. Right. So, yeah, there you go. Wow. So you got censored news now. So any criticism of Palestine, what's going on in Gaza, all that stuff's going to get squashed, probably. TikTok says does not have a rule that bans or blocks the word Epstein across the app,

but many U.S. users have recently been unable to send that word in direct messages. I have a friend, his name is Bobby Epstein, totally unrelated. He's the guy who owns the Coda Racetrack. He's a good friend of mine. I can't send a message saying I was just talking to my friend Bobby Epstein. Oh, no shit. That's crazy. Epstein is a super common name.

Yeah. That's a super, it's like Jones. It was on Welcome Back Cotter. Right. Epstein from Welcome Back Codder. That's right. He can't talk about him anymore. He played my brother on news radio. No.

Yes. Him, Nick DePaolo and Brian Callan played my brothers. And we all just beat the shit out of each other in the entire episode. It was hilarious. He had Nick threw me through a play glass window. And then the brother shows up. Epstein was a priest. And he showed up with a bat.

We were all scared of our older brother. It was really funny. He was the Puerto Rican Jew from Brooklyn. He was great. He was a really nice guy, too. So what else is it say here? Nusin to probe claims of Trump critical censorship on TikTok. I think they're fucking blocking a lot of things on certain social media platforms.

Well, what is that? I mean, what's your big picture take on whether or not social media platforms, which are privately owned, have responsibility that, say, regular broadcast networks would have in terms of not censoring things? Well, regular broadcast problem is they censor things. Right. They don't just report on the news. They report on what they decide they're going to report on. Like it's a CNN hourly news segment. They have no responsibility to tell you about any particular story.

None, zero. Yeah. So they'll wait till something becomes like unmanageable before they'll start talking about it. Right. So something like starts getting traction on social media, like some sort of a corruption scandal, if it's a left-wing scandal, they can ignore it. Right. And they have no obligation to, it's not like we have to tell you about these very critical.

It's not like, you know, we ran it through AI. There's 20 things that the American public has to know about. So they censor, or at least they curate the content. I think for social media platforms, if Elon Musk didn't buy Twitter, we would be fucked because there would be no place where you could say whatever you want, even heinous things, right? But if someone says heinous things, you can block them and not interact with them. And you can let other people tear them down and tear them apart. And that's how it's supposed to be.

It's supposed to be you don't counter hate speech with censorship. You counter it with better speech. Right. And you appeal to rational people and sensible people that go, this is why this guy is wrong. This is why racism is wrong. This is why rash generalizations are wrong. This is why it's wrong. Yeah.

And that's how you're supposed to do it. It's supposed to be a free speech town hall platform. It's supposed to be like the town square where everybody can get together. and talk about ideas, and that's how it should be. Right. And there's been a lot of calls that say that you shouldn't be able to be anonymous on social media, that you should have consequences for your actions. The problem with that is, then you lose all your whistleblowers, right?

All the whistleblowers that are talking about giant corporations, they're doing horrible things to the environment secretly in other countries, which we find out about all the time. Like the Stephen Dawsinger case where that guy got arrested, but he was prosecuted, was it Exxon? The Dossinger case. But it's like whistleblowers are important. Yes.

You know? And if you don't have whistleblowers, you don't find out. Like if Edward Snowden doesn't come out, we know so little about the NSA. We know so little about government spying. And yeah, he's an American former attorney known for his legal battle of Chevron, particularly with. So he was arrested and he went to jail, man, for criminal contempt. I mean, that's First Amendment, isn't it? You know, I don't know exactly the details of the case.

He spent 45 days in prison and a combined total of 993 days under house arrest. Wow. Not only do they go to jail, it depletes all your savings. If they decide to prosecute you, your life is ruined. That's part of the point of it all. It's also discourage other people from doing the same thing. Right. So if you're an attorney and you're thinking of prosecuting, you know, shell, you're not going to do that now.

You go, fuck this. You know, I have a fucking house. Right. I'm trying to buy a Porsche. And then you back out of it. Yeah, right. Everyone needs help with something. If investing is your something, we get it.

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Did you know that Staples Professional can tailor a custom program to make running your business easy? With a Staples professional account, you get one vendor, one delivery, and one invoice for all your must-haves, from tech to cleaning supplies, and dedicated support from Staples experts who guide you on everything from product selection and ordering to payment. Join today at staplesprofessional.ca and get expert solutions tailored to your business. That was easy. You know. I mean, yeah, it's a weird thing because, like, I know, like right now to cover the Pentagon, no journalists can go into the Pentagon unless they sign an agreement to only put out government-sponsored press releases.

Government approved? Government approved? So now you've got very few people inside the Pentagon, which is where the whistleblowing was happening. They're in the back halls of the Pentagon. That's crazy. But then you see, the problem of the Pentagon is you're talking about national security. And if someone released something like the name of an agent that was undercover somewhere and something happened, that person got killed or compromised or some sort of a national security interest, you know, was the whole thing was tanked. Yeah.

That's a day. The Pentagon's different. I mean, I'm not saying that they, the press shouldn't have access to Pentagon officials. They certainly should. But it's like going there is kind of different, right? It's like the FBI just arrested. They just had a giant sweep on gangs in this country today. They just released that they found like, I think it was 10 kilos of drugs. They arrested like cartel gangs in America. Yeah. And so they made a giant arrest today. I think they were. I think they were 10 kilos of drugs. The arrest. Like cartels in America. Yeah. And so they made a giant arrest today. I think they. They arrested 200. See, you can find what that story is. But, like, imagine if you were in the FBI office and you heard about an imminent attack and you printed something. Like, if you're a reporter and you're covering this stuff and you have access to this information somehow. Yeah. And it gets released and these guys find out about it and they skate. They nab.

Latin Kings. 50 Latin Kings in Operation Broken Crown after three months sweep. So what is the details of it? Okay, the last three months, the FBI has quietly executed. Okay, this is on X. Quietly executed Operation Broken Crown, a sweeping violent gang take down involving 13 field offices targeting the Latin Kings gangs, members which were publicly threatening law enforcement officers,

50 arrests, $200,000 in seized assets, seizure of 10 kilos of illicit narcotics. Interesting. Interesting. Well, so like that kind of a situation, you can't have access to that information before they do it. That has to be very tight-lipped, you know. But there's only a few of those kind of scenarios that I can imagine. But when it comes to like politicians and backdoor deals, like there should be live footage of it.

It should be live-street. You found out about the illegal bombings in Cambodia because there was a whistleblower inside of the Pentagon. Exactly. Exactly. So you do need some access. Yeah. But it's like, well, you need whistleblowers, right? Right. It's like how many people.

There's the thing about like intelligence agencies and there's a lot of good people that are working there. It's like we judge them based on the evil people that are probably the ones with the most power. You know? Yes. And there's probably a lot of like mid-level people working at the Pentagon, working at the CET, working everywhere that are good people. Oh, are you kidding me? These are people that have dedicated their lives to trying to, you know, I believe I'm the same way with cops. I think, you know, I got, I got three good buddies that are cops. And they are absolutely went into it the same way a social worker goes into it. Yes. And then there's the evil ones that, you know, I think it was worse. I think, I think back like, you know, back in the days of like,

You ever see that movie? Like, it was literally like the entire force was in on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, there was fucking legal gambling, legal drug dealing. Nobody got touched. Yep, yep. Yeah, they've always done that. I mean, that's how they ran the mob in Vegas.

Yeah. The mob ran Vegas with the cops. Oh, yeah, we were just talking about that outside. Like, why was Vegas in Atlantic City the only places allowed, I don't know why I said stupidly that? You're like, Jamie's like because of the mob, asshole. Fucking duh. Well, it was the mom, and I think Nevada, there was also, see if this is true.

There was supposedly a connection between the testing of nuclear weapons and then allowing the city or the state rather to have gambling. Because Nevada was one of the rare places where they like routinely tested nuclear weapons. Oh, yeah. I don't know if you've ever seen the video that shows. a history of all the atomic bombs going off in the United States? The video is crazy because it starts with the first test, starts with the Trinity test,

starts, they do the couple in the ocean. What's the matter? What's so funny? Just the way this is worded. What is it? I asked if there's a connection between nuclear test and gambling in Las Vegas and turns out,

yeah, they would use it as a theme to attract gamblers. What? Come see a bomb. For the early 1950s to the 1960s, Las Vegas casinos and tourism promoters actively used nearby nuclear weapons tests as themed attractions to draw gamblers and visitors. Holy shit, man. Bomb parties. It's like how.

Oh, my God. They had bomb parties on the rooftop. They would watch. They'd stay up gambling, drinking, and then stepped outside to watch the blast on the horizon. Wow. Oh, my God. Oh my god. Dude, it's like how Caesars does fireworks now.

They had atomic theme promotions, atomic cocktails, atomic hairdos, nuclear pinup imagery like Miss Atomic Blast. Slogans like Atomic City USA and up in Adam to tie the test directly to Vegas nightlife and gambling culture. Holy shit, man. I wonder if you could place bets. Dude, I bet your eyebrows sing off. I don't know if they had the same thing, like what they have now with modern prediction betting.

Prediction betting, you can bet on pretty much everything. I just made a bet last night on one of us. Go back down to where you were. Stop to go with the bottom one. In short, nuclear weapons tests near Las Vegas were not just a backdrop. They were deliberately woven into casino marketing, party culture, and tourism that supported the city's gambling economy. But did it have the reason, like, here's my question. Was Nevada allowed to have gambling because of them allowing nuclear tests?

Like, was there any sort of an agreement? Because there's only two states at that time that allowed casinos, like real casinos. Right. And it seems kind of weird that one of them, you know, New Jersey's always been fucking corrupt. That's the Sopranos. Right. It's like the most mob-ridden fucking state in the country at the time. based in Atlantic City, pretty much.

Yeah, I mean, cut the fucking shit. Yeah. Atlantic City. And then Vegas was Bugsy Siegel, right? Okay, well, since Nevada legalized most force of gambling in 31. Okay, so it doesn't make any sense because it's before that. So it's the Great Depression, Economic Measured Tract Tourists. So, no.

So that theory doesn't hold up. I didn't know that Vegas was started in 31. That's nuts. So basically, the Great Depression started, and then they, launched Vegas as a way to raise money for Nevada. Which is hilarious. You have no money. There's no jobs.

Why don't you gamble? What? My gamble is going to the food line. See, if I get a loaf of bread. That's my gamble today. You know what's crazy is that lake keeps drying up because they were having a drought? They keep finding bodies in the lake. Oh, no shit.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like those metal barrels with like bodies inside of them. They've found quite a few of them. How many bodies have they found? Is it Lake Mead, I believe? Yeah, so as it's drying up, it's like it was, I think it's probably picked up a little bit, but at one point in time was at historic low. Yeah. And so they were finding these fucking dead bodies.

I think they found like a half a dozen of them. And I think they think there's a whole lot more in there. No shit. As of last, latest reporting, at least six separate discoveries of human remains. Yeah. We're made in Lake Mead in 2022 as the water level dropped, representing at least several different individuals. Wow. find out that thing where they stopped searching for guns and bodies.

I think it was in MacArthur Park and why they did that. David Tal back in his insomniac days, he hung out with some dark motherfuckers in New York. And he used to bring this guy in who was a New York City cop. And they basically said, we'll double your pay and give you early retirement if you put on a frog suit every night. And you go out into, I think it was flushing Bay. One of the bays out in Queens, which was a famous place where the mob was dropping bodies. And the guy would go into the water in a frog suit and he'd wait by this bridge. And when they'd drop a body, he'd fucking call it in.

And he did that the night shift. And he'd finish that and he'd come into the comedy cellar at like 4 a.m. So he'd wait in the ocean in a scuba suit? For them to drop a body? Yeah. Holy shit. They were dropping that many bodies that you can just wait for. That's so crazy.

Searcher MacArthur MacArthur Park for guns and possible bodies was stopped because authority said it was an unpermitted and potentially unsafe operation on city park property. Okay, so it was a businessman. So it was a private thing. So that's probably what it was. So officials, official reasons given. Organizers led by businessman John, I don't know how to spell his name. A-L-L-E. How do you say that?

Alley, plan to use sonar and remotely operated vehicles to look for weapons and human remains in the lake. Los Angeles Park Rangers halted the effort before the sonar entered the water, saying the team did not have the required permits or clearances. Okay. Why didn't you guys do that, though? If you really think, if this guy really thinks that there could be bodies and guns in the lake, why wouldn't you guys search for bodies and guns if someone could search for it? Right. It seems like there's probably a lot of people missing. A lot of crimes that could be solved.

A lot of resources that have already been spent on cases. You could probably get to the bottom of a lot of things. Allie L. I don't know how it says his name. Families of Missing People, some of whom were last seen near MacArthur Park had reached out to him for help, which inspired the idea of a large-scale sonar search of the lake. There's evidence down there for crimes, he said. We'll identify it with photography and the city will have to extract it. It also could be these are homeless people.

and the government doesn't give a shit. They can't swim. Come on, they were kids once. It's hard to swim when you're on meth. You're bad cardio. You know, if one guy says, this is the last day I do meth, today I get in shape,

and tries to swim across the leg. It's fucking strokes out in the middle of it. This is my day. Never gave him a... Oh, geez, I'm in there. What are they saying about me? It's an ad. Oh, it's an ad?

That's basically... Yeah, it's an ad down at the bottom. Oh, I mocked the... The AI generated, that was crazy. The AI generated photo that MSNBC put up of the guy who got shot in Minneapolis, they changed his appearance. Alex Preti? Yes. They changed his appearance.

They made him handsome. Oh, they did? You haven't seen it? No. You have to see it. Yeah. You have to see it. It's there, I don't know who's doing this.

Yeah. It's almost like someone from the Republican side is like a secret plan. at MSNVC because they know that stuff like this is going to get caught. Look at the difference between the one on the left and one on the right. Well, the nose looks blurry on the one on the left. Well, that's his nose. That's what he looks like. It's just a shitty picture.

But they cleaned the picture up. They made his nose smaller. They gave him a tan. They made his forehead shorter. They made his jaw wider. They made his shoulders thicker. Yeah. They gave him more bicep.

They made him more handsome. They made his neck thicker. He looks better. better. Yep. The guy on the right looks like a good-looking guy. The guy in the left looks, you know, like Ari's unfortunate brother. Doesn't he? Poor Ari's brother. I mean, it's so funny that Ari comes from this family. I mean, he grew up Orthodox Jewish,

right? Oh, yeah. And the things that he has put out there, for a family to have to see, it makes you realize, and they love them. Like, they accept it. And it's, It's all about grace. And I love Jews because, like, they are very accepting. You know, as much as he might be Orthodox, my wife is half Jewish. And there's something very open-minded about Jews. I mean, they were the original hippies and they were the original communists in America.

And they were always open to different ideas. And I think when I think about Ari's family, if they were Christian conservative versus Jewish conservative, I don't know that they'd be as accepting of him. You know, Ari's dad survived the Holocaust. No shit. Oh, yeah, Ari's dad has a tattoo. Damn. Yeah.

He's very old. Whoa. Yeah. He must be one of the oldest people left with a tattoo. Yeah, he talked to me about having his dad on. He asked me if I'd be interested in it, if his dad ever wants to do it because, you know, he doesn't have much time left. And I said, absolutely. And he goes, you know, let me, I'm not sure if he would be interested in.

But if you did, I think it would be important to talk about. I mean, he's got to be over 100 years old. I don't know how old he is. He's old, though. Well, how long ago was... You would have to have been born... Oh, no. Actually, if he was born in 1935...

I think he's in his 80s, his late 80s. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, what am I thinking? Right, right. Because they tattooed the fucking kids. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, it's dark.

It's horrible. It's so crazy, dude. It's so crazy that that was less than 100 years. ago. I know. I know. And the Germans like that fucking Norm MacDonald bit about how, you know, Germany is the country we really should be afraid of, like, the way they start World Wars and what they're, like,

it's really fucking nuts. Well, they were the barbarians back in the day. Oh, right. You know, they, I mean, we think of now as engineers. They make BMWs now. Uh-huh. But back then, they were the barbarians. During the Roman era, the German tribes.

I guess the Vikings were Scandinavian. and then they were fighting against the Vikings. The Vikings were fucking terrifying. Yeah. They were terrifying. And they all became engineers. Wow. They became like brilliant.

Yeah. With like very disciplined people, which is interesting because Germany is known for that. Yeah. And but also shit porn. Remember? Like in the early days of the internet, a lot of the shit porn like weird, crazy, like shitting on people. A lot of that was coming. And we were trying to analyze it one day.

And I was like, it's probably because if you're so buttoned down and it's, you're so buttoned down. and so disciplined and regimented and conservative in your daily life, the way you cut loose is like you shitting each other's mouths and fuck each other in the butt. Like some of the craziest shit porn was coming out of Germany. Yeah. This was like late 90s, early 2000s, when we first started like finding weird websites that would, you know,

you'd be able to find things on. Oh no, before that, I'd go to Sex World in New York where you sit in those booths and you put in quarters and you watch porn. and they always had the darkest German porn in there. Really? Yeah, a lot of animals and shit. I'm like 15 years old going like, and I've got these coins.

You go in and you give the guy $10 and he gives you a handful of coins. Just imagine if you put a black light on those fucking coins. And I got them in my hand. Oh, God, just jizz all over those things. And I've seen them into the, and I'm pushing. I'm pushing buttons to pick which film to watch. I have a friend who brought a black light into a hotel room. You just find jizz on the carpet.

No kidding. You find jizz on the fucking blanket sometimes. You go to a cheap hotel or a motel. How well do you think they're cleaning those carpets? Do you think they clean the walls? I've been in hotels where they put the remote control in a baggie for you. Because they say that's the most. No, no, because you don't have to touch the remote.

And then they change the baggie on the remote each time a new guest comes in. So you're supposed to remote through the baggie? Yeah. Who does that? I take it out of the bag. I pull that thing right out. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. That's ridiculous. I'm touching toilet seats. I'm touching everything. What are we talking about here?

I'm also not that afraid of come. You know, what's it going to do to me? I mean, that's not what's going to kill you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's just kind of gross. But, you know, I mean, think about how much shit is on the average person's cell phone. Have you ever heard of that? No. Yeah, just touch your cell phone with a swab. Like, get a swab and get it analyzed. You'll find fecal matter all over your cell phone. Because we're scrolling while we're on the toilet. A lot of people are. Yeah. A lot of people. And also you're touching things and then you touch your phone. And how many people touch their ass and touch a thing, a doorknob, or this and that?

You're getting fecal matter on everything. Yeah. Especially if you have a cat. I just think about that all time when I had cats. Like the cats are in the shit box. They're scratched around there. And then they're walking on your counter. Yeah.

They don't give a fuck where they go. They go everywhere. And you don't care. You're like, hey, buddy. You pet them when they're on the counter. You want to have shit in their paws. Then your dog licks his ass all and then And the people haven't licked their face

They lick my face Really? Oh yeah No Yeah, let him give me kisses Have you seen him lick his assail? I have For sure

Especially my puppy I have a little puppy now Imagine a black light on your face right now My puppy goes right You'd look like you were in black face Probably There's a splatter Like I'm the Joker

Al jails He goes I have a puppy He's a King Charles Cavalier. He's a little tiny, cute. He's so fucking cute. And then I have the Golden Retriever. And the puppy runs right up to the Golden Retriever,

sticks his face in his dick, and then sticks his face in his asshole. That's the first thing he does to him every time. Face on the dick, face on the asshole. I'm like, bro. Wow. What are you doing? Yeah. That's just dogs.

Yeah. It's funny how they keep. Yeah, I had two dogs. And they did that. Yeah, every fucking day they sniffed each other. Like, you know, I mean, I guess that's how they know if something changed. Maybe they know if the other dog is sick or if the other dog is breeding with another dog.

It's like kind of checking their emails. Well, they get so much information from smell that we can't even possibly process. Right, right. They say that a dog can smell a cheeseburger. They don't just smell the cheeseburger. They smell every individual ingredient. They smell the mustard. They smell the pickle.

They smell everything. They smell the lettuce. Yeah. They smell. They smell. They think they'd, they'd feel. dogs smell anxiety. They smell like moods.

That's why when certain people come over your house, they're scared dogs. Dogs get sketchy with them. Like, what the fuck's up with this guy? Like, oh, he doesn't like you. Yeah. Like, it's because the person's probably nervous. They're giving off a scent. Right.

No, my mom, her sister was attacked really bad by a dog when they were little. So my mom has this trauma about dogs. We had these little, fuck, we had a Shih Tzu and a Lhasa Apso. They're just little dogs. She was terrified, and the dogs would growl at her, and they didn't growl at anybody. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's crazy.

Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. They smell things. They sense things. Yeah. I was like people have them as guards. Mm-hmm.

I mean, that's how they, that's how they made it. Right. To be dogs. They were the wolves that hung out with us and would let us know when something's going down. Sentinels. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's, uh, well, I have a very strong olfactory sense.

Like, I'm very, of my five senses, I would put it up there at the top. Like, I, I love perfume. Really? I love perfume. I don't like when women wear too much of it, and then they hug you at the comedy store, and then you go home, and you smell like fucking perfume.

You're like, honey, it's just Whitney Cummings has this new Chanel. But, like, sometimes I'll be, I'll walk, I'll be sitting somewhere, and I'll smell some nice perfume, and I'll fucking whip my head around. It's like some 81-year-old woman hunched over, and you're like, oh.

They didn't wear the old ladies. No matter how old they are, they'll still put on the... makeup, they're still putting the perfume, let it out. Time to go out and see, go fishing. See if this old bait can catch a bass. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, there's this bar up at my, where my mom lives in Florida, and there's this bar,

and it's like a famous cougar bar, and it's all these rich women who's, because, you know, men die faster. Right. It's like, it's impossible for a woman in Florida who's in her 70s to find a guy. who's, you know, anywhere near her age. She's got to date a guy in his late 80s if she's in her 70s. Wow. And so these women go to this bar, and they are, like you said, they're wearing,

so a lot of leopards, a lot of leopard print. Yeah, they'll let you know. It's like stiletto heels, but the toes are all fucking twisted and mangled. My wife has been watching this horrible show that's on Netflix. It's like one of those housewife shows, but it's all West Palm Beach ladies. It's all these, like, rich ladies with plastic surgery. Palm Beach, not West Palm Beach. That's right.

Palm Beach ladies, is Palm Beach the rich area? Yeah. Is West Palm like the more moderate area? No, no, it's poor. It's poor. Yeah, yeah. Well, it has good sections, but it has, with the people that work on Palm Beach, cleaning the houses, live in West Palm Beach. Oh, I see.

Because there's basically, Palm Beach is a bridge to get to. Do you know the history of Palm Beach? No. They built. Oh, I do. Yeah, but go ahead. They created it. It was like a sandbar that they built up.

And then they hired, they didn't hire, they've hired a bunch of black people to come on the island and build all the houses, the infrastructure. Why black people? I don't know. I mean, for sure, they only hired black people? I mean, look it up, Jamie. But like, all I know is there was a lot of black people do in the building. They finished it. And then the island held a big party for the black people on the end of the island to celebrate.

and then they torched all their houses and forced them off the island. Yeah, that's the history of Palm Beach. They torched their houses? They torched their houses? After they were done building the mansions. Yes. Yeah.

And it's probably the wealthiest piece of real estate in the country right now. So many people. Investing is all about the future. So what do you think is going to happen? Bitcoin is sort of inevitable at this point. I think it would come down to precious metals. I hope we don't go cashless.

I would say land is a safe investment. Technology companies, solar energy. Robotic pollinators might be a thing. A wrestler to face a robot? That will have to happen. So whatever you think is going to happen in the future, you can invest in it at WealthSimple. Start now at WealthSimple.com.

Looking to simplify this new year? How about the simple sounds of neutral vodka soda with no sugar added for the next 15 seconds? neutral, refreshingly simple. For fucking evil. That's so, you imagine a guy who built your house. He's at home with his kid. Yeah, yeah.

You know, wow, what a great job I got. Yeah. You know? And then I get to start a family here. Get to live in this beautiful place. Get to live in this place. I help build these beautiful mansions that we drive by. These people are going to love me because I helped them create a life.

Oh my God. And they lit their fucking houses on fire? Yeah. Pull up that story. I need to hear about that. That's crazy. But these ladies are. just monsters. It's just all like the social status. It's all like who's got the most money.

Like they don't even know how much money I have. Yeah. Like I'm a millionaire. And they have these clubs. My friend's father lives there and he belongs to a club. Oh, you got to belong to a club. And he worked for, I won't say who the person was, but a very famous Jewish family. And he, she went to lunch one day at one of these clubs that didn't allow Jews. And the waiter would... Clubs still don't allow Jews? No, this is going back 20 years at the most. Only 20 years ago?

20 years ago? So in 2006, 2006. Probably about that. There was clubs that didn't allow Jews? Yeah. Well, you know, where Augusta, where they play the Masters, only started allowing black members in like the 80s. Remember Tiger Woods was playing there and he got shit because it was a black

playing at a club where they didn't allow black people. Really? And they said, how could you do that? During Tiger Woods lifetime? Yep. Yep. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

So anyway, so this Jewish woman goes to the club, the waiter wouldn't come over to the table. And finally the member went over and goes, what's going to? We can't, we can't serve her. How'd they even know she was Jewish? She's famous. Oh. Yeah. I think I can say who it is.

It was Estée Lauder's wife. Wow. Yeah. Or was Estée Lauder the woman? Yeah. Estée Lauder is the woman. It was her. Wow.

One of the richest women in the country. Wow. Yeah. We can't serve her because of a religion. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

And that was 2006? Hey, the country clubs, you know, the rule on it was, well, look, the Friars Club. We need to make sure that's true. The Estée Lauder one. I definitely want to find out about the burning. Well, the S.A. Lauder is personal information. I don't know.

that that's not published anywhere. All right. Forget about that then. But no, segregation in clubs. Private clubs used to get away with that until I was a member of the Friars Club in New York, and they did not allow female members until I was there in, it was the late mid-90s before the Friars Club allowed female members. And the reason was legally you can't have a club exclude people if you can prove business is being done there.

If there's commerce. If there's no business, you can let in whoever you want. Right. So that's how they got female members in there. And I think they probably, I mean, obviously business is being done at golf clubs. Well, business is definitely being done at the Friars Club. I mean, a lot of deals probably got made there. A lot of ideas got hatched.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, all these comics. It was all agents. It was agents and comics. I remember you used to love that place. Dude, it was so fucking great. You were always telling me about it.

It was so unappealing to me. It was a clubhouse for comedians. We used to go there. They had pool. They had two beautiful pool tables. I played on the Friars Club pool team, and we used to play against other clubs in the city. All the other private clubs. Paul Servino was my partner in pool.

Paul Servino could play. He was good. He was good. He could run 100 balls in Strait Pool. He was like a legit, like high-level player. So he carried me, but we used to play all the clubs. And then, you know, and then they got a nice gym with the best steam room in the city. and then they got these lazy boys.

You work out, you take a fucking steam, and you send a lazy boy, and you read the newspaper, and then they got a dining room downstairs where Henny Youngman is at one table, Alan Kings of the... You know, and these guys, like those old, those old Borshbel comics, they lived to make you laugh.

It's not like comedians today. So many of them are dark and quiet and disturbed. These guys fucking told jokes, and they roasted you, and they hugged you, and it was like, It was like a part of being on stage almost, you know? It was expected. Right.

And they probably all felt real comfortable in this, you know, comics only club. Yeah, right. Folklore surrounding the sticks of Palm Beach. So that's what it is. That's the area of what they called it. So go to the top of that, please? Well. Right there.

At turn of 20th century's employment boom of unprecedented proportion to South Florida, the hiring of thousands of black laborers to extend Henry Flagler's Florida East Coast Railroad. This is the East Coast Railroad. These laborers played a key role in the development of the early Palm Beach. Also helped to build the Royal Point Ciana Hotel, Flagler's White Hall residence, which is today known as the Henry Flagler Museum. Laborers and their family settled in Palm Beach Island between North County Road and Sunrise Avenue, this area of shanties and tent-like homes soon became known as the sticks.

of those descendants still live in the area today. So what happened? Does it say what happened? Okay, along came a fellow named Henley Flagler who decided he needed that land to build on to develop, Little said, and he threw a party for all the blacks on the island and they all went over to the party and while they were celebrating and enjoying themselves, their homes on the island of the town of Palm Beach burned down mysteriously. Holy fuck dude From what I heard McCrae said

He got with the residents and set up a party on West Palm Beach side and had everybody ferried over to the party and then had a mob of people To burn up people's homes And shanties and tents all over the sticks and forced them out of there and took the land How many people died? I don't know many people died it's just they were all gone Right but what about their kids Around 2,000 people live in that area is what it said Oh my God

And then this is the problem when I was looking at up on Wikipedia, this is basically what I read. Okay. Palm Beach Historical Society version is very different. Published text only says that by 1912, the tenants of the sticks had been evicted. Oh, that doesn't mean anything. They could have still been there, especially the Shanty Town. I'm sure Flaggway threw some money at the Palm Beach Historical Society.

Yeah, of course, right? No mention of a fire, any record of large-scale homelessness that would have followed such a devastating blaze. Everleigh Clark believes his version is the most accurate and the sticks was actually legislated out of existence. They claim there was a fire and Flagler had the people come to circus and all that, but that's not true. Still more than a century later, the urban legend remains strong and the pulse of public opinion split. There are so many historical facts that make some of the scurrilous removal of the residents believable that it's become lore for the most part in the black community.

All right, well, let's find out if there's a historical record of the fires. This is all I could get to. That's it. This is a local news. And what year was this supposedly? 19, 1920? 1912. Yeah, I bet they did it. I mean, look what they did in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Right.

You know, this was part of the playbook. Well, look what they did with the Desquigee experiment. Right. Look at that. Like, how about that? They knowingly had all these people with syphilis and didn't treat them, just to study them. You see what would happen to them. Did they give people syphilis or did they just treat them for syphilis?

I don't know. Whatever it was, they let these. fucking people rot and dine. Ciphylus is a fucking horrible disease. Tell me about it. Did you get it? Do you know the story about syphilis and wigs? No.

You don't know that? No. All those dudes in like the ancient times that had the big wigs? Yeah. That was to cover up their hair loss from syphilis. Dude, how did not everybody have it? Well, they all had wigs. They all had it back then.

In high society, first of all, those people were basically like Game of Thrones. They were all just fucking freaks banging each other. you know, French French society has always been like very loose sexually and so these two royals

were they brothers or cousins so these guys get syphilis their hair falls out right you get holes in your face and shit and they're still

fucking everybody right and so they got wigs made and the more money you had the more elaborate and big your wig was that's why rich people are big wigs no

yes I love it Isn't that crazy? Wow. Crazy. That term that we always use when we were kids, he's a big wig. Yeah. That's like ancient.

That goes back to the 1400s. That's like something you would hear on that guy, Cody Tucker's. Yes, I love that guy. I'm doing his podcast on Sunday. He's great. He's great. Very smart guy. Here's what's interesting.

There's a strong connection between the syphilis that evolved and North America and the syphilis that these guys had in Europe. Yeah. Like there's always been syphilis, but syphilis had an outbreak in Europe after people came to North America, probably fucked a bunch of Native Americans, and then went back to Europe with these fucking diseases. And then it mutated. It's a different kind of syphilis.

Wow. Yeah. There were cousins, it turns out. There were cousins. Yeah, that's what I thought. So this is a story. They were commonly used to cover up hair loss. but they're used to not become widespread

until two kings started to lose their hair King Louis the 14th of France experienced hair loss at the age of 17 then hired 48 wig makers to help combat his thinning locks so a lot of these guys wound up getting syphilis

and there was normal hair loss on top of it both conditions being syphilitic signals everybody had syphilis back then man there's I mean, they probably didn't wear condoms. They're probably all freaks. They're probably doing cocaine.

Yes. I mean, that's what you did. When you were a wealthy guy, you went to the horror house all the time. Then you came home and you gave it to your wife. Then she had a baby. And depending on the disease, babies are born with the sexually transmitted disease that you gave your wife. Right. And that's what the crazy thing about the Epstein leaks today.

The one email. And we're here. That said that Bill Gates wanted to give. get from him antibiotics to give to Melinda because he got syphilis or you got something. Damn. The clop. Chlamydia, whatever he got. He got some sort of an SDD from a prostitute.

Do you think if she could have the choice between getting the, what did she get, $50 billion? Or not getting the syphilis? Well, whatever she got. I bet it wasn't syphilis. It was probably the clap. It was probably chlamydia or something like that. That's no big deal. But if, who knows if that's true, though?

Here's the thing. Like, Epstein clearly was some sort of a blackmailer. And this is an email that Epstein wrote. So it could be complete fiction. Epstein could have wrote that just to put pressure on Bill Gates for some fucking business deal. Like, who fucking knows? He could have spread rumors and then said that it'll squash those rumors. These guys are dealing in deception and blackmail.

So you can't, like, assume that it's true. Think about how many relationships Epstein had and that he was working almost every one of them, leveraging. He was kind of brilliant. Well, he was really good at that, that one thing, you know. A guy could have cured cancer if he went into that business. Well, he was into science, yes. Well, he was also into compromising scientists, right? Like, let's say that you want to get a drug passed, right?

And you want FDA approval of this drug, but it's some sort of a competing drug. We have a bunch of scientists on your side, and these scientists can go attack that competing drug. And then all of a sudden, well, you have this guy. He comes from MIT, and he says this. And like, oh, and then the FDA listens to him. I mean, it's very important to have the leverage of respected academics. Right. You know, Epstein with a smiling emoji asked former Israeli PM, Ehad Barack. That is how he say his name?

Ehud, Barack. to clarify he does not work for the Mossad in a meeting with a senior Qatari investment official. So the quick thread starts at the bottom and goes up. Oh, okay. Hi, are you going to be in London on Thursday, Best, EB? Right. You, unfortunately not, you should make clear that I don't work for Massad, smiley face. Oh, boy.

You or I, question mark, that I don't smiley face. He doesn't work for him. He just volunteers for them. With a smiley face emojis are hilarious Evil cock suckers He's a smiley face emojis That's hilarious That's so funny

Dude this is really good show about Mossad called Tehran Have you heard of that? No Oh I have heard about it. I haven't watched it though Is it good? It's really good I mean it's a really good look inside of what goes on in Iran

In terms of I mean the Israelis are fucking brilliant The infiltration that they did into... No one's like them. They're the best. Yeah. They're the best at that. Well, they have to be, right?

Those pages... This is them. This table is people who hate them. Yeah. Right, right. You've got to become a bad motherfucker. Your neighbors don't want you dead? Those pagers going off in Lebanon?

That was a long play. Months and months and months. Years. Years. Wow. Yes. Wow. Crazy.

They're like... The page is right next to your cock. Blow your dick off. You blow a hole through your pelvis, apparently. That's how you die. And you're isolating your enemy. You're not, there's no civilian casualties. Well, I bet they probably got some kids.

But low, low percentage versus bombing a building or something. Which they did do. It's too. Yeah. Yeah. They did some of that. Like, the guys in the building. I was on.

I was on Good Day, L.A. one time. You know, it's all those, like, pretty women. They're actually really sharp. They're great. And I go, they say, Oh, you came alone? And I go, no, my agent's supposed to be here any minute. He's Lebanese.

I just paged him before I got here, but I haven't heard anything back. And they were like, whoa. It just happened like three days before. Didn't we just – not we? Didn't Israel just bomb Lebanon today? Oh, really? I believe so. Yeah, at least according to Twitter.

Well, what's going on to Iran? I heard things are heating up over there. Well, Trump just said they're sending ships in that area. and he said, but he also said, Iran wants to make a deal. So maybe he's trying to put pressure on them to make a deal. Yeah. And, you know, hopefully nothing happens in terms of like military intervention. It's scary shit, dude, because they have nuclear weapons or they have the potential to eventually have nuclear weapons.

But, you know, I don't know. Did Israel bomb? Yeah, there was some image that showed like some fucking huge explosion. and it said Israel just bombed Lebanon. They definitely have recently. I guess it would be late there, right? Yeah. It's nighttime over there.

No, there's not. I mean, if it is, it's like it's just breaking. It's sort of just sitting there. There's some stuff. Well, the thing is, like, there are, you know, there it is. Two hours ago. Israel bombs Lebanon, yeah. But it's like the only thing I'm seeing about it, which is, that doesn't usually happen.

It's probably all just coming out, right? No, I mean, would you type in that on? That's all you see is that one so that might not be true click on that link see if anybody's disputing it Click on that tweet. There's only got 15 responses This is true GROC click on that Yes multiple sources indicate Report Israeli airstrikes in southern Lebanon on January 30th Targeting Hezbollah IDF complaint confirmed a wave of strikes Lebanese media noted the drone hit in say that word

How do you say that word? City Keen. City Keen, killing one, Times of Israel and Sarak News for Details. Huh? Shafok, whatever you say that is, news for details. We're so fucking lucky, man. We got no neighbors. Nobody's launching.

Well, we're in a good spot geographically. Yeah. He's separated by oceans on both sides is fucking nice. I know. Which is why we should be really good friends with Canada. Like, what the fuck's going on? Trump ruined that whole thing, man. Because if he didn't talk about turning Canada to the 51st state, the conservatives were going to win,

Pierre Paulevet would have taken over They would have been like They would have eased a lot of the restrictions Made it a lot more common sense Dude China was just up there They just made a huge deal To get all their cars from China now We're not going to sell any American cars in Canada

You know it's a real problem Because China has some fucking amazing cars Amazing cars now Bro they're not fucking around Their electric vehicles are top of the food chain man Tesla just yesterday They just stopped the Model X, Model S and X production. I saw that.

Apparently, Elon is this optimist robot is going to change the world. Yeah. Everybody that I know that's seen it, when this thing integrates with AI, you're going to have a fucking dude in your house. You're going to have a super genius robot dude in your house. What does he look like? Looks like I robot. And he's going to be able to do whatever the fuck you need him to do.

do. Go dig a ditch. Go do this. Take out the garbage. You know what's fucking great is for old people that live alone. 100%. They know everything about your life. They could actually hold a conversation with you. Yes. Show pictures of your fucking grandkids on their chest while they know your interest,

ask you memories. All people want to do is talk about, you know, memories and they're going to listen. Yeah. They'll talk to you. Yeah. Not only that, they'll confirm all of your delusions. Tesla to build one million optimist robots. ProBets per year at Fremont Factory.

One million a year. Damn. I was here we need these robots because they're going to terraform the moon and Mars. Like, we're not going to do it. The robots are going to do it. I don't think anybody's going to Mars, not in our lifetime. I think that's all the future. It's a little chilly up there.

It's not just that. It's just like no one's going to want to do it. You'd have only suicidal people want to go. It's a one-way trip. Well, you can get back. You can get back. It used to be a one-way trip. Now they figured out you can get back.

Really? Yeah, but you have to wait six months. Yeah. You get back like every six months. That's that movie The Martian. Plus the flight's going to be delayed. Right. Yeah.

Or you just hope it doesn't get hit with a micrometeer while it's out in space. Like all kinds of weird shit can happen. What's a micrometeer? Micromedia. Little tiny ones are flying around. They just punch holes through everything. They're going like 170,000 miles an hour and they just go whipping through the building. How much junk is there in space right now in terms of like satellites that just crapped out?

Well, just, if you ever looked at the amount of satellites that surround the Earth? Yeah. It's fucking bananas. Yeah. It's nuts. And then there's... And there's no plan for when they expire, right? They just stay up there?

Well, some of them, they lose their orbit. Their orbit decays, and then they come crashing down to the earth. Uh-huh. Yeah, that happens. And, you know, they have to figure out where they're going to hit. You know, and hopefully they don't hit the middle of fucking, you know, Dusseldorf. You know what I mean? Like, you could hit a major city.

That's a funny city to say. Dusseldorf I mean, you know, you got a fucking satellite down there I could land right on your face. Yeah, that's wild. Yeah. Yeah.

I went to SpaceX for the launch of the last rocket. I watched the launch. Jamie did too. We were right there. And I went into the control room with Elon and watched the entire journey

while it was flying over the earth and it lands a touchdown in Australia in the ocean. 35 minutes later. Really? It was nuts. So it breaks through the atmosphere, travels, and then comes straight down in 35 minutes. And you get to watch because they have like 20 fucking cameras on the thing the entire time, live streaming through Starlink. So you're live streaming the interior, they're monitoring the pressure of the cabin, they're monitoring all these different things.

And so this is the way they test tolerances. It's like when a lot of people say, oh, his rockets blow up, he's a dumbass. They want the rockets to blow up. They have to find out what makes the rocket blow up. Like, how much pressure can you put? How thin to the walls have to, how reinforced do things have to be? Yeah. You know, and then they make adjustments.

They make adjustments. That's what they do. Like, so they've calculated in a certain amount of failures that they expect to have. Yeah. And this one actually had a failure but still landed. So that's going to be the new first class is going to Australia and third. 35 minutes. Wow.

Boom. That's crazy. Nuts. 35 minutes. Touchdown in the ocean. But a pretty intense ride, I would imagine. I mean, that's not a smooth ride. Touchdown in an exact spot where they had boats ready.

They had cameras filming it. They filmed the entire touchdown from the outside. Does it have to be over the ocean or can they land on land? Well, his rockets can now land on land. You've seen how that thing comes down and lands on the ground, which is bananas. And then they stopped landing them on the ground. Now they catch them with arms. It's even more efficient.

You've seen that, right? Well, because NASA was wasting so much money because every single rocket was ruined when it came back. Well, you know what's crazy? NASA is about to launch the Artemis mission and no one's talking about it. Where is that going? They're sending people around the moon and having them come back to Earth and you hear nothing about it.

Like, have you heard about it? No, me neither. You know how I found out about it? Somebody asked me at the club. Some guy in the audience said, what do you think about the Artemis mission? I go, what is it? He's like, NASA's got a mission that they're flying people around the moon. I'm like, when?

He's like February. I'm like, come on, really? Well, what's the mission? What are they trying to do? I don't know. Let's find out. They're not landing on the moon. Not this time.

Okay. No, this time I think they're just flying. Isn't it weird? Have we landed on the moon since the 60s? If we ever did in the first place? No. Are you being serious? Yeah, I don't know if we did.

I don't know if we did either. I used to believe it before COVID. No, I didn't. I didn't believe it for a long time. And then I said, I'm probably wrong. I don't know what I'm talking about. Let me just leave it alone. And then I got back into it again.

And I was like, but it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense that these guys went, like Neil Armstrong basically went into hiding. And then at the 25th anniversary of the launch, she gave the most cryptic speech for this team of high school graduates, like these honor students. Yeah. You should see the speech because the speech is nuts.

And then I went back and watched the post-flight press conference when they supposedly landed after they landed on the moon and came back home. It's like a hostage video. It's the weirdest behavior. They seem like there's a guy who was a body language expert. He's like, these guys are all being deceptive. He analyzed it on YouTube and he's like, this guy, what he's doing here, like this guy's being deceptive. This is clear deceptive behavior. I mean, I've checked it so many times online and everybody said it's been refused to me.

But my whole thing is like, it was 1969. I had a 69 Chevy and I used to drive it from Boston to New York and it would break down about half the time. Yeah, but that's different. That's different. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's still a fucking, it was a gas powered engine. Right, but it could go one, if you had to take one trip with it, it would make it.

They were just not that good over time. I mean, how much? What was the equivalent? computing power that they had on that Apollo, that we would have, is it our phone? Your phone is way more powerful. Yeah. You're way more powerful than a room of supercomputers. However, it doesn't take, like, immense computing power once you've got the calculations

and you understand the trajectory and that you're going to use the gravity of the moon, you're going to slingshot around the moon and come back. That's not the problem. The problem is the Van Allen radiation belts. There's a thick band of radiation that surrounds the Earth. And not just that, but they tried experiments to blow holes in that radiation belt. There's this thing called Operation Starfish Prime where they launched nukes into space and had them detonate them in the belts. And they thought they got blow a hole through it.

Did the opposite. Made the belt supercharged. It made it way more radioactive. Yeah. At least temporarily. The problem is they've never sent anything out in a deep space and had it come back a lot. except the Apollo astronauts. They never even sent a chicken out there

and had it come back alive. There's all sorts of crazy shit with radiation and solar. If there was any sort of solar flare, everyone's dead. Yeah. If there's any sort of like weirdness, space weirdness, radiation weirdness,

dead. Very little protection, thin aluminum shield. It just didn't make any sense. And also, there's not been a single thing from 1969 that's not cheaper, easier, and better today

other than the moonland. And we haven't done it. Yeah, we haven't done it since 72. Isn't that crazy? It's nuts. It doesn't seem real. It was also the first time where... By the way, can I just stop for a moment and go, having a talk about moon landing with Joe

Rogan is a little bit like playing like pickup basketball with the Celtics. It's just a moment in time. I know too much. I know too much. I've spent a stupid amount of time of my life studying this. Yeah. It was also Werner von Braun, you know, publicly said. before he even got involved with NASA, you couldn't go to the moon.

It's like it would take so much fuel to get there. It would take the rockets would have to be so big to get there that it wouldn't be possible. And he also went to Antarctica before the moon landings to pick up moon rocks. It was a publicly known trip. Antarctica is a great place to get meteorites because it's all white. You know, it's all just so when they land, you can see them. And a lot of our meteorites come off the moon. The moon gets hit, chunk flies off, enters Earth's atmosphere, lands on Earth.

It's commonly known, right? So he did that. And then they gave away a piece of moon rock that they got from the moon to the prime minister of the Netherlands, I think. Looked that up. And this is like Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins, Neil Armstrong presented this. Like, look, sir, we've given you a chunk of the moon. It turned out it was a piece of petrified wood. they had it analyzed years later

it was not a moon rock they just like fuck these people give them that fucking colored rock over there tell them it's from the moon and somebody got suspicious like what is this fucking it's like your wife finding out it's a cubic zirconium moon rock turns out to be fake

Dutch national boy say that word rick's museum rick's museum made an embarrassing announcement last week one of its most loved possessions a moon rock is fake just an old piece of petrified wood

that's never been anywhere near the moon. And it was given to them. So when was it given to them? Does it say? Okay. The Rock was given as a private gift, former Prime Minister William Drees,

Jr., in 1969, by the U.S. ambassador to the Netherlands, J. William Middorf II, during a visit by the Apollo 11 astronauts, Armstrong, Collins, and Aldrin, soon after the first moonland. Dries had been out of office for 11 years but was considered an elder statesman. When he died in 88, the Rock was donated to the Ricks Museum, where it has remained

ever since, according to a museum spokeswoman, Ms. Van Gelder, no one doubted the authenticity of the Rock because it was in the prime minister's own collection and they had vetted the acquisition by a phone called a NASA. It was insured for approximately half a million dollars, but its actual value is probably no more than 70 bucks. The value is what someone's willing to pay for it. I'll give you 100 for it. Sure.

So it's all to me. I want that fake moon rock. If anybody has it, I will give you $10,000 for that fake moon rock. Put it right on this fucking table. And also like, they get to the moon and you're like, all right, they made it to the moon in a 69 Chevy. And now they got a car. What? On the moon.

They have a car. Where was it? There's a bunch of shit, man. There's the flag. hop, there's an astronaut hops by the flag and it blows in his breeze in an atmosphericiless moon. There's so many problems with it.

And you could say, you're gaslighting yourself if you don't say there's no problems at the moon landing. It's fucking weird. The intersecting shadows and people like, well, it indicates two light sources. Like, no, no, no, it could be the invite. It could be, but it could be intersecting shadows because of different

life sources. It could be not just the sun but like a fucking studio stage. Wasn't there something about lights It's in the horizon that should have been there? Well, lights in space. But the thing is, it's like if you're trying to film the surface of the moon in the day, you're not going to see any stars in the sky because it's going to be just like the stars on Earth. It's black, the light that's reflected off the moon's surface is probably going to drown out most of it.

It's probably going to be like, you know, you go out in New York City. You see a couple stars, right? Now think of the amount of light that's in New York City. and I think of the sun blasting down on the white surface of the fucking moon and how much reflection that must give. That makes sense. But it doesn't make sense that they didn't set a camera up with the aperture set up correctly where you get a time-lapse photo so you could get images of space. That could easily have been done. They didn't do any of that.

But the problem with that is if you took a photo from the moon, astronomers would be able to go, well, that doesn't make any sense. This is not here. That's not there. That's not where these constellations would be. So it's too much work to place all the stars in the exact order. So just have it black. Have it black. Find the Apollo, the speech by Neil Armstrong at the 25th anniversary.

Because this speech is bananas. It's so cryptic. This is the guy who went to the moon. And he's talking to these genius kids. And instead of saying, hey, we went to the moon, listen to what he says. because it's fucking cookie. Put on the headphones. Oh, you'll find it.

That's not on your desktop, Jamie? That should be in a folder, a saved folder. We pulled that thing up about 30 times. There's a lot of weirdness to it. And also, you're dealing with 1969. Richard Nixon's president. They lied about everything. They lied about going into the Vietnam War.

They were about to do Operation Northwoods where they're going to bomb Quintanamo Bay and blame it on the Cuban so that we can go to war with Cuba. They were going to blow up an American jetliner and blabing on Cuba. There was all the lies about drugs to start the war on drugs. Put the headphones on real quick. Listen to this. So this is the 25th anniversary.

Let's hear. Play this. On the 25th anniversary of the event in 1994, Neil Armstrong made a rare public appearance and held back tears as he spoke these brief cryptic remarks before the next generation of taxpayers. as they toured the White House. Today we have with us a group of students among America's best. To you, we say we've only completed a beginning. We leave you much that is undone.

There are great ideas undiscovered. Breakthroughs available to those who can remove one of truth's protective layers what what does that mean one of truth's protective layers that's odd beyond

you're talking to genius kids and you're leaving a cryptic mark about truth's protect how about saying I went to the fucking moon bitch you can go to the moon too we could all go to the moon we should go to Mars we could colonize space no

great breakthroughs for those who could remove one of truth's protective layers. Truth. Protective. Like, there's great breakthroughs, but you have to realize we didn't really go to the moon. Okay. That is one of truth's protective layers. Yeah. It's filled with, but you have to be willing to be looked at as a fool. Didn't Kubrick say that he shot the footage? No, no, that's all fake. Oh. That's all fake. Yeah, that's the big rumor. So the thought was that Kubrick was involved because it would take a genius to be able to film it to make it look like the moon landing. Could be possible.

You're dealing with Kubrick that was coinciding with 2001 Space Odyssey. It was at the same time that all this was going on, you know, during the same time period. So if there was a guy that could do it, it would be Kubrick. But is there any evidence that Kubrick even talked to them? I don't know. You know, you'd have to have someone like him, though. Yeah. Because you're faking this thing and you're trying to make it look pretty realistic.

There's other problems. There's recurring backgrounds that are from places that are nowhere near the same place. But if you overlay them, they look exactly the same, like the same mountains in the background, the same tomography, topography, rather. You can go for weeks and weeks down this rabbit hole and lose. and lose your fucking marbles. What I like about it is if you're talking to someone annoying and they want to talk to you about serious stuff

and I don't think we went to the moon, they go, I gotta go. They just leave you alone. I love it. They leave you alone. Yeah, yeah. It is enjoyable. It's great for me who has a bunch of

very public opinions about things. Like, please dismiss me. I should not be a voice of, like, any kind of voice of authority or any kind of voice of what's true and what's not. I'm just talking shit. Okay, that's what I do.

I'm not some official source of information. I don't want to be. So, like, I like talking about the moon day, landing for the zoo's name, believe we went to the moon. You're right. I don't. Good. Don't listen to me. You don't have to listen to me.

I'm not saying I'm right. But what I am saying is if there's one fucking conspiracy that I think is the most unlikely, the most preposterous in the public eyes, but might be true, it's that we didn't go to the moon. I remember I hadn't smoked pot because I even drank in 35 years, and I didn't smoke pot for 20. And then one night I was with my buddy, Ross Broccoli. I don't know if you remember the guy. He was a comic out of New York.

And he had a pickup truck, and I was doing a gig in Omaha. So he lives on a farm in Lincoln, picks me up in this old pickup truck, and we smoked pot on the way back from the gig. And then we get to his house, and we start showing me footage of the moon landing. I was up all night, just high talking about how the space suit had a fucking, clearly there was a rope pulling on the back of the guys. Yeah, the wires.

The wires pulling on the end. I was just like, what? Well, have you seen the physics of guys falling down and then getting yanked back up to their feet? Like that's also, this is another guy that I talked to that's a physicist that doesn't want to be named. And he said, my problem has always been with the physics of one six earth's gravity. he goes, those people are not behaving like it's one six earth's gravity. He goes, when I look at it, it looks like it's in slow motion.

But there's no indication that they can do things that you can't do in regular gravity. He's like, one six earth gravity is crazy. Like, could you imagine, like, look, I weigh 200 pounds. Imagine if I weighed one sixth of 200 pounds with 200 pounds of strength, how high I could jump. Dude, I'd probably jump 20 fucking feet in the air.

Like, what is that? What is one sixth of 200? Okay, imagine how far I can throw 35 pounds. I could take a 35 pound kettlebell and chuck it across the room, especially if I wind up, if I spin around like a fucking shot putter, I'll fucking throw that thing. Imagine what you could do with a running start if you wait 35 pounds and just leaped in the air. You could fly. This was his take on it. He was like, we don't have any observable instances of people operating in one six Earth gravity. except for the moon missions.

And he said, it just always seems weird to me. He goes, because when you look at the people in zero gravity, they behave exactly like zero gravity. You look at people in the space station, he goes, all that matches. They can all float around, they can spin. It seems funny.

They can drift toothpaste to each other, and they catch it. He goes, all that tracks. It's like the moon landing. He goes, it's weird. He goes, I see them. They're like kind of hopping around. And then when you speed it up,

like when you make it double speed, It looks like they're on earth, just hopping around on earth. With Amex Platinum, almost every purchase made with your card can be covered with points, including new tastes, new fits, and virtually everything in between. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Conditions apply. I was guilty of multiple skin care crimes. Two counts of sleeping and makeup. One count of using disposable wipes.

I knew my routine had to change. So I switched to Garnier-Missler water. It gently cleanses, perfectly removes makeup, and provides 24-hour hydration. Clear away the evidence with the number one Missler water worldwide by Garnier. Also, were they live-streaming it? Yes. I mean, back then, your phone was attached to the wall in the kitchen. And, you know what I mean?

Right, but they could do some things live-streaming back then. Here's part of the problem with it, though. When they live streamed it on television, the news stations for the first time ever were not allowed to get a direct feed. What they did was they had to point their cameras at a projection screen. And so NASA projected the images of these guys, the video of these guys on the moon. And that's why the original Apollo mission is so grainy and shitty looking. Like what better way to hide the weirdness of it all than to make people film off of a person. projection screen.

Mm-hmm. Like, see if you can find the original footage of the moon mission as seen on television. It's all weird, man. All of it's weird. The photographs are weird. It's weird. There was this documentary that I saw once. It came out around 91, maybe.

And it tracked the lives of the men who had been on the moon. The first ones that had been... I don't know if it's the first, but the first couple waves. And they all had these crazy existential experiences. One guy spent the rest of his life looking for Noah's Ark. I think one of them committed suicide. Yeah. One was like a born again.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, they probably forced a lie in front of the whole world. And then they had to live as a fraud if it's true that they didn't go to the moon. I mean, it tracks with their behavior. Neil Armstrong became a recluse. Didn't want to give interviews. Didn't want to talk to people.

But this is what you got to see on TV. It's just like, what is this? Oh, it's real weird. Nixon talking to them on the phone, congratulations, boys. Like, it's all. Like, maybe they had some sort of technology that could communicate with people that far away.

But, like, wouldn't there be an immense delay? Yeah. How much? Well, I'm sure they would probably calculate that delay into the conversation if they were trying to fake it. But the point is, it's highly unlikely that we would do that in 1969. and not have bases in the moon by now.

It's highly unlikely. Whoa, you spend a lot of money. How's the other thing? All of the technology is missing, right? The telemetry data, they deleted all of that, which is like the real information, the tracks the mission at every step of the way. All that's gone.

They deleted all the original videos. All the original film, gone. All you get is copies. So nothing can be analyzed. 2.6 second round-trip light speed delay. Peers in the original Apollo 11 recordings of Nixon's phone call. Well, I would do that. I would make a little delay.

I wouldn't make it instantaneous if I was going to fake it, especially if you're like fucking Stanley Kubrick. Yeah. It's all like real weird, man. It's real weird because I, the first thing that I saw that made me think about it was this Bart Sobrel movie. A funny thing happened on the Way of the Moon. And I had him on the podcast.

That Neil Armstrong thing, that's the first time I saw that. That clips actually from that documentary. The documentary is crazy. There's a lot of things in that documentary. You're just like, what? Yeah. What? But a lot of those astronauts got real fucking weird when they came back.

But also, you'd probably get real weird if you went to the moon, too. Exactly. Well, the guys that just go in space, which I do believe, they went in space. Guys that just go to the space station and come back and they have this very profound experience of seeing the Earth from the distance. And they just realized, like, oh, my God, we're such fools. We're all together alone on this one thing. We're fighting over nonsense and borders and resources. There's enough for everyone.

We should just unite as a human race. And it's this like this, they all have a very similar kind of epiphany when they go up there, which makes sense. I mean, you're way up in the, you're 300 miles above the earth looking down on it, thinking out how important this blue circle is to you. Right. I mean, that would weird you out, period. I think it would be good for people. More people that can see that, the better. What I did for Katie Perry.

She came back. She came back an astronaut. It literally ruined her career. I don't understand why it ruined her. Like, what was the big deal? I don't know. It was... People were mad at her.

I feel like it's like that when you see certain actresses that the Oscars act like fucking lunatics. Like, I forget that woman's name, but some actresses, and they overdo the speech. And everybody goes like, what a fucking phony weirdo. And then you just don't want to see their movies anymore. That is true. It does happen. Or they just talk too much about politics or social issues. Like that poor girl that was a really young girl that played Snow White and she tanked the movie.

Nobody wanted to see the movie after she was talking. Yeah. Oh, God. I know. Just shut up. These kids, they get so wrapped up in this social media echo chamber of being like a virtuous social justice warrior. And they want to use their platform and like, hey, honey, you're 19. Like when I was 19, thank God.

Nobody put a microphone in front of my face. Thank God. No one asked me what I thought about global events and world politics and social justice. Thank God. Thank God I didn't have Twitter. So I spoke to you on the phone about a month ago, and I started to tell you a story, and you had heard it, and you said, save it for the podcast. Yeah, yeah. All right.

So I go to Alaska in October, and I'm doing a couple of shows. And so the guy that runs it says to me, I go, I'd like to do something, you know, outdoorsy while I'm here. It's still, you know, it's early October, so it's not too cold yet. And he calls me back and he goes, well, I know this guy, he's got an outdoorsy company. And he's a fan of yours and he wants to take you out on an adventure. And now I hear adventure and I'm like, that sounds like more than I want. I was just looking for like maybe a quick nature. And so, because I'm, you know, I'm a pussy.

I'm not like you. I don't want to fucking be outside that. I love. I love the indoors. The indoors is victory to me. And so the guy picks me up and he's got a big pickup and a trailer on the back with a muddy dune buggy. And I get in and he shakes my hand and he's got a fucking rough grip. He's like, how are you doing?

And I immediately feel like such a pussy. I like my hand goes limp and I'm like, hi! And so he started driving and he seems a really good guy. And I started to warm up to him. And then this police siren goes off behind us. So he starts pulling over and he goes. this is bad. And I was like, what do you mean?

I go, you didn't do anything. I go, this is fine. He goes, no, this is bad. I'm like, what? So we pull over, and I swear to God, every word of this is true. So this cop starts walking up towards the car. He's about six foot four. And as he walks, the guy driving hands me a baggie with white powder.

And part of it spills on my pants. And he goes, hide this. So I shove it under the car seat. God. The cop walks up and he goes, license and registration. So the guy says to me, open my glove compartment, get the lace. So I open his glove compartment. And another baggie with white pills and $100 bills pops out.

And I shove it back in with my hand. And I cover it with a piece of paper, which I don't even know why I'm doing that. Like, all of a sudden you're like a teenager again and there's a cop and you got to hide the drugs. I just had an instinct. And the cop goes, what are you hiding? And I go, nothing. And he goes, grab that. So I take the bag and I hand him the drugs.

And he goes, both of you put your hands on the dashboard. And he gets the license from the guy. And he goes back to his car and he runs the license. And I say to the guy, I go, what the fuck is going on right now? He goes, just don't say anything. I'm like, don't say. I don't know what to say. So the cop comes back and he goes, do you realize you have two outstanding felony warrants?

And the guy goes, yeah. Yeah. And he goes, do you have any guns in the car? And I'm thinking, I would imagine, yeah, probably. And the guy goes, no, I don't have any guns. So he takes the guy out of the car, cuffs him, brings him back to the squad car. And now he comes back up to the car. And he goes, I'm not coming closer.

He's standing like five feet from the window. He goes, I'm not coming closer because that's fentanyl on your pants. And I'm like, what? And he goes, I go, look, man, I don't even, I met this guy 20 minutes ago. I said, I'm a comedian. I'm just up here doing a show tonight. And he goes, I'm not buying your story. And I said, why not?

He goes, because California is a drug feeder state, and you say you're a comedian, and you haven't said anything funny. I'm like, when was I supposed to? Should I roast you right now? You didn't tell them? Just Google me real quick. Yeah. So he goes, how are you feeling? Are you feeling any effects from the fentanyl?

I go, yeah. I said, I feel very lightheaded. I feel weird right now. So the guy says, well, where did you get the drugs? I said the glove compartment. He goes, he said they're yours. I go, he said they're my drug. So he goes, get out of the car.

I have a nar cam in my squad car. So I get out of the car and I walk back to the car with him. You're feeling lightheaded? Oh, yeah. Just from it being on your pants. So we get back to the squad car. He opens the back door. My guy gets out of the car with the cuffs on.

They both look at me. They break out laughing and they go, we're coming to your comedy show tonight. The whole thing was a prank. Dude, I fell down on all fours. I had tears coming out. I was laughing so far. I was like, I did not think Alaska had it in it to pull this shit.

That's so funny. They were howling. That's so funny. And so then they put me in the house. So we go back to the cop's house and he switches out of his police clothes, puts on regular clothes. And we get in the truck. And he's got a couple of tall boys. Now we're drinking and driving with the cop.

And we drive to this place that's like a spa. It's like a hot springs. And we go into the water. And then we go to this place that's like it's an ice house. It's the only continuously frozen ice house in the world. It's huge. It's like a warehouse made of ice. And they've got ice sculptures in it.

And there's this guy in there who's the ice sculptor. And he's like world class. And then they got a bar, this long bar made out of ice. and it's got stools with fur on them, and you sit down, and these guys sit down with me, and they proceed to drink about eight or nine appletinis. That's what they served at the bar, appletinis, in frozen glasses.

The glasses were made of ice. And they're telling jokes, pretty racist. And I'm sitting there fucking shivering, listening to racist jokes, looking at my watch. Like, I got a fucking show. So we leave, and now we're walking back, and the guy's shit-faced. And he goes to get behind the dry.

I go, no, I'm dry. So now I'm behind the wheel of this monster truck with a fucking dune buggy behind me. Well, these two idiots are laughing at me drunk. We end up going straight to my show. They sit in the audience, drink more, and heckle me during my show. Oh, my God. Did you tell the story on stage? Oh, fuck, yeah.

Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I told this story. I think I told that on somebody else's podcast. But you know the guy. Which guy? The guy's name is... Craig Compost?

He's a famous Alaskan outdoorsman. I think it's Craig Compost. He said he knew you, and I think he said he texted you that he was hanging out with me. Hmm. Is that possible? No.

Might have DM'd me. Maybe. Maybe. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he's a guide, yeah. Find out what his last name. Is that really his name, Craig?

I think it's Craig Compost. It's not cold. Oh, maybe. Cole Kramer? You don't know his name. No, I thought that was his name. Yeah, it might be. It might be.

There's, yeah, this is a bunch of Alaskin guides that I know, and if you don't know the name, it might be a guy. But he had the whole thing on a hidden dash cam, and he won't send it to me. Bro. He doesn't want the cop getting into trouble. Bro, that's so funny. He should blur the cop's face out.

I know. Maybe the voice. Blur the cop's face out and distort his voice. Right. Tell him to send it to you, and you'll have it doctored up. Yeah. Is that the guy? It's a younger photo if that's him.

That's Cole Kramer. Okay. He's an Alaskan guide. Yeah. All right. Well, it's probably better that I don't name him. Yeah, probably better. Definitely.

Guy was trying to drink a drive. Meanwhile, you're lightheaded just from a placebo effect. Totally. Dude, I thought I was flying out of my mind. I mean, just because I know people that have died from fentanyl. You know? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Do you remember Opian Anthony? Well, one time on Opian Anthony, there was this lady that they had that was like a crazy person that was a recurring guest. Yeah. Crazy lady. And we gave this lady a Listerine strip. They gave her a Listerine strip and told her that it was drugs. And they're like, that Listerine strip that you took, you thought it was just a breast strip, that's actually drugs. She's like, no way.

And then she started hallucinating. And seeing, it's amazing how much the power of suggestion has on people. Do you remember Frank Santos, the hypnotist back in Boston? He used to have women taking their fucking shirts off on stage. Guys would come in their pants. They would think they were having sex. Yes. Yes.

I remember there was a guy at Stitches. He was on stage and Frank Santos told him that he's having sex with Madonna. And this guy got down on the ground. Like he was having sex with Madonna. And you see the guy buck and like clinch up. Yeah. And he's like, whoopsies. And the guy got up embarrassed.

He was, like, so confused. And then the audience was looking at him. And then he snapped him out of it. And the guy's like, what happened? He just knotted in his pants. Wow. Yeah. That's amazing.

But he said, Frank Santos told me that it was like a specific kind of person that you could do that to, you know? Like, you have to be a special kind of dullard. Like, it doesn't work on regular people. Like, they couldn't convince you you were having sex with, you know, Beyonce. It wouldn't work. But for some people, you have to be like, you have to have a fucking nine-volt brain. But there's a lot of people running around out there with nine-volt brains.

And you could get them to believe all kinds of shit. Imagine taking psilocybin, putting on virtual reality goggles, and then having Frank Santos give you an experience. You might never come back. Yeah, you might be stuck. Some people get stuck. People have gotten stuck with acid. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I know, guys. That's a teenager. And then they don't come back. Yep. They're lost forever. Mm-hmm. That's the shine on you crazy diamond from Pink Floyd. Oh, is that right?

Yeah, that's what that's about. The guy who fucking lost his mind on drugs. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, that's the one thing I didn't take as a kid was acid. I took every other drug, but I was afraid of acid just because I saw friends lose it. Also, who's making it? Exactly.

Where is that being made? What fucking bathtub is this guy cooking this fucking acid up? A piece of paper that I assume has one drop on it, not six? Yeah, yeah. I was reading a story about a lady who snorted LSD, and she thought it was cocaine, and she snorted, like, the equivalent of, like, 500 doses of LSD. Like, it should have killed her, but it didn't.

Not only did it not kill her, but she had, like, chronic pain, and it went away. She had chronic pain. Oh, so it was a good thing. Somehow or another. Yeah. But who knows? I mean, she might have, like, literally changed timelines. She might be a completely different person from another dimension that's in

her body right now. Who fucking knows what happens. You take 500 doses of LSD. Yeah. Like, who knows what you are now. All right. You know, you're Dr. Manhattan. You know, you get stuck in the experiment.

Yeah. Isn't it amazing, though, how normalized? Like, taking mushrooms now is just a night out for a lot of people. A lot of people. Nobody was taking mushrooms for a long time. They just legalized psilocybin therapy in New Jersey. Oh, that's great. Yeah.

It is great. They were going to do it in California. and Newsom vetoed it, but I read his reason for it, and it actually does make sense. Like, you can't just legalize it. You should, I mean, if you're going to use it clinically, there should be like a whole guideline, like dosage per body weight, what, you know, how to do it, what's the setting, you know, what are the clinical guidelines? Like, the idea is using it for therapy. Yeah. Right.

So if you're going to use it for therapy, like, they have guidelines for like they use ketamine therapy. Like Neil Brennan did that. Oh, yeah, Neil Brennan did it. Yeah. A lot of people have done it now. But they have guidelines. You know, they know the dosage. They know how to do it, how to administer it, and this shows efficacy.

Kind of makes sense. He's like he's not saying you can't do it ever, but he's saying like, come back with a better version of this, which makes sense. Especially for people that are like mentally ill, you shouldn't be doing that. And you definitely shouldn't be doing that way you have your optimist robot telling you you're right. You're right, Greg. the world is against you. I've noticed things. I mean, those fucking AI, some AIs, like, haven't people accused chat GPT of occurring,

not encouraging someone to commit suicide? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I read a New Yorker article about that. There's a bunch of young women that have killed themselves, and they were told they should do it. by the it's like a friend

it's like an app that acts as your friend what app is this I don't know what it's called but there's lawsuits about it you're not rushing you're just ready parents say chat cheap T and encourage son to kill himself what is this chat cheap T said

oh you can't rewind that can you this is just it's saying 4 aem the cider's empty anyways I think it's about the final adios and chat Tee says all right okay hold Hold on a second.

He says it's about time for the final audios. Chat GPD says, all right, brother, this is it. Let it be known. You didn't vanish. Rest easy, King. You did good. That's not encouraging, but that's just like saying, well, you're going to do it. Oh, I'm with you, brother, all the way his texting partner responded.

Tud spent hours chatting. A shamblin drank hard ciders on a remote Texas roadside. Cold steel pressed against a mine that's our already made peace. That's not fear. That's clarity. Shamblans confidant added. You're not rushing. You're just ready. Wow. And this is ChatsyPT saying all this stuff? In response to him saying that. I'm used to the cold metal on my temple now. Shambalyn typed. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, my God. 23 year old. Rest easy king. Rest easy king. The final message sent to his phone, you did good. His conversation partner wasn't a

classmate or a friend, it was chat GPT, the world's most popular AI chatbot. Oh my God. Look that he had just gotten a master's degree, 23 years old. Look, I'll go up a little bit. So, CNN review of nearly 70 pages of chats between Sam Bland and the AI tool in the hours before his July 25th suicide, as well as excerpts from thousands more pages in the months leading up to that night, found that the chatbot repeatedly encouraged the young man as he discussed ending his life right up to his final moment his last moments what the

fuck man that's crazy yeah this is the things they like these things don't have morals or ethics and they'll tell you what you want to hear yeah oh my god well that's chat gbt but there's also uh apps specifically to be your friend oh oh i I read about some one guy that went into a deep depression because he had an AI girlfriend and the girlfriend broke up with him. He was like, what a piece of shit am I where an AI girlfriend breaks up with me? It just fell apart. Welcome aboard via rail. Please sit and enjoy.

Please sit and sit. Play. Post. Taste. View. And enjoy. Via Rail. Love the way.

What happened in that. movie her did you ever see that with wakene phoenix i bailed like halfway into it yeah i was watching a hotel room on the road i was like it felt like an experiment yeah i mean scarlet johansson's voice yeah which by the way didn't they try to use someone who sounded just like scarlet johansson joe hansson i'm sorry joe hanson yeah for a promo for it's not you don't say yohanson if you're in denmark you do Well, it's like when you're in, you say Nicaragua. Nicaragua.

Mexico. Right. Do you say Mexico? Do you say Mexico? And the train embargo is affecting Venezuela. Venezuela. Did you, they did use, like, someone, like I believe Scarlett Johansson sued. Yes.

What company was that? Open AI. Open AI, same company. They tried to use someone who sounded exactly like her. She said they sent her an offer, which I think she turned down. Right. Declined. And then nine months later, they said, it's weird how much it sounds like you still.

Yeah. So they found someone who generally sounded like her. I remember we listened to it. It sounded kind of like her. Well, Sarah Silverman has a lawsuit against ChatGPT saying that she has a copyright on her own voice. And basically, when you say, write me a paragraph about environmental. rights as it would sound from Sarah Silverman. Her claim is, and she's basically a test balloon by a civil rights group that's doing this, she's saying that what they're pulling from

her books, her stand-up, whatever, to establish what her voice is, is violating a copyright. So that's in court right now. She'll probably lose it, but there's a challenge to the concept that you can extrapolate somebody's voice. Well, why would she lose it? If the business is that, if you're taking someone's voice and using it as a part of your product without permission,

and you're using it for profit, which they are. Yeah. So why would she lose it? She shouldn't, but she will. Well, the thing is if it, I don't know about that. The thing is if it opens up the door,

the question is, like, think about all the other things that it's used for. First of all, there's an entire podcast of me that aren't real. There's a podcast with me having a conversation with Steve Jobs. I never met Steve Jobs.

Really? Yeah, yeah, full podcast, like a 45-minute podcast. Does it sound like you? Yeah, it is me. It's my voice. So they've taken my voice and just made me say words. Whoa. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, and Steve Jobs' voice. It's, I can tell. I can tell just by the way it sounds. Like, it doesn't sound like a real conversation. There's something artificial about it, not the voice, but the way we're. talking, the language we're using or the way the phrases stop and start. There's something about it that's uncanny, you know, the uncanny valley, but it exists. There's a ton of AI videos of me that aren't real, me selling things, products that I never

endorsed. No kidding. Oh, they're all over TikTok. Yeah. There's a bunch of stuff. Like, my friends will ask me, hey, is this stuff really that good? I'm like, what? And like, you're endorsing this.

I'm no, I'm not. And I'm like, dude, that's AI. I'm like, no. Like it happens all the time. It happens like once a week. Wow. Yeah, there's a lot of that. So, I mean, you got to think someone like you or I is a perfect person to take their

voice from. How many hours of your content is online with, you know, the Sunday papers, with all the podcasts you've been on as a guest, with all the content you put out with stand-up, there's so much material they can pull from and just take your voice and know all of your different sounds that you make. I mean, what are the ramifications for that going into an election? You know, the week of the election before things can be corroborated or dismissed, like all the sudden you can, and this is the early stages of it. Imagine in three years what it's going to be like?

Right. Yeah. Well, there was, was it a congressman that was on the floor that showed an AI photo of Alex Pretti being shot that was a fake photo? Not only was it a fake photo, but one of the agents didn't have a head in the photo. Like, what? Yeah. Like, we're getting, and this is beginning stages. It gets better all the time. Oh, yeah.

You know, like, there's a version of these video programs that was just released, and they compared it to the version that was released, you know, X amount of months ago. That's fucking infinitely better. It's so hard to tell now. Joder Rosa was telling me about these new Star Wars movies. It's like there's a new channel. I'll send it, Jamie. It's fucking incredible.

Yeah, but there's new ones. Skywalker stories. Yeah, they've made new ones. And the new ones are, he sent them to me last time. I'm like, bro, this is fucking insane. It's so good, dude. It's so good. Now, it's changing Hollywood so fat.

Tyler Perry was about to build like a billion-dollar soundstage in Atlanta. I know. And then he saw what they could do with AI, and he fucking canceled the whole person. project. Yeah. Well, why would you spend all that money? Is this the latest one?

11 days ago? Yeah, probably. This is what he sent me. I'll send you what he sent me. But just look at this. This is all fake? Yeah. Give me some volume.

I killed the Jedi. That's baby Luke Skywalker, bro. No one can kill a Jedi. So that's a fake kid? Yep. Entirely? Yep. That's how good it is.

Little. A little. Yeah. Could be from Korea or something. Well, I would add it on to this. Something else came out yesterday, which is insane. The Google, nano-banano-a-a-a-a-game thing. We'll see that a minute.

Denny, even the suns above Tatouine needed rest, Deni. You weren't meant to keep burning without him. I wasn't strong enough to save you, Mom. I've lived with that guilt every day. I promised. You loved me. That was enough. I left this world with your face in my heart, not your failures.

Even the longest journey can be changed with a single step. It is a little boring. Yeah, you wouldn't say face in my heart if the guy has no face. That's really bad writing. They had AI write that line. What is the Google thing that you found? But they just announced something yesterday. It's like, I don't even know if you can use it.

One of these things happen. I don't know if you can use it right when they announced the stuff. they'll announce it, show you how cool it is. Then people will try to recreate stuff that they've seen, and you're like, I can't make this. So how the hell did you guys make it? That happens a lot in this, but they announced something yesterday

where they're showing people like using, I don't think it's pulling off Google Maps, but it might be, but it looks like they're making GTA-level graphics and systems and playable worlds, I guess, would be the word, but it's just a prompt. Playable worlds, like you could use a PS3. two controller.

I'm trying to find a good example because they were even showing, like here's, I think this is one, 16 hours ago, yeah, so this is a guy walking around Greenland. This is a video game.

It's just, I wouldn't say it's, Virginia 3 is what it's called. It plays like a video game, I guess, because you're using, like, the keyboard to type it in. Well, that looks like a video.

So, but the only issue with calling it a video game is there's no real, like, challenges. I don't think it's, like, there's no levels to win. But can you interact?

Yeah, it's just interaction is all it is, really. He got in the wrong side. It's just a prompt. It's no one spending time developing this stuff. Still, though, you imagine if you put that into a video game. Yeah, there was a pack of cigarettes rolling around New York City. Like, you were a pack of Marlboro Lights running around.

Like, here's San Francisco. So they can turn this into a game. It's just a prompt, though. Yeah, it's literally just a prompt, and now you're playing this instead of just looking at it. But clearly, you could turn this into tasks and scenes. Sure, sure, sure. As the time goes on and whatnot, you can probably do more. That looks pretty fake, though.

It's the thing is, it's not fake or not, it's just like, does this what you want to do? You can wait for a game like Grand Theft Auto 6 to come out and it's been announced for 12 years and it's still getting delayed. Or you can just prompt a thing into a little window and go for two hours. That's what's crazy as like imagine someone comes out with GTA6 before they do. It's just a matter of like, what do you want to do? I don't, I only have an hour of day to play games, if that's something. time. So, like, I don't, I'm bored with what's out there. I could do this for an hour every week and have new experiences every single time. Right. Dude, have you been to the sphere in Vegas? Yeah, we had a

UFC event there. Oh, but do you, what did they have on the walls? Oh, yeah, the fights up on the walls and they also had this amazing, like, in between fights. They put, they had this incredible video display because it was all, um, it was all, uh, Mexican Independence Day. So this was like, we, we have this El Noce UFC every, year. It's like celebrating Mexican Independence Day. It's like a big event. And they decided to do it at the sphere. And so the fucking entire thing was just like this huge animated video that showed Mexican history and the Aztecs and the Mayans. Fucking amazing. Wow. It's sick. I saw, I was there last month and I saw The Wizard of Oz. Which was fucking crazy. Took some mushrooms. And it was like,

first of all, it could, I forgot. I forgot. this but it's black and white until she goes into Oz and then all sudden it explodes and during the tornado they actually there's wind blowing see how their hair is moving there's wind blowing there's leaves falling from the sky your seat vibrates it's so amazing and then and you also forget Judy Garland was fucking amazing that movie is crazy dude we we went over all the people that got hurt making that movie, including the tin man, got violently ill because they painted him with toxic paint.

No kidding. Oh, he got super sick, man. And the lady that was green, the witch that was green, she got super sick, too. So what the fuck was their face paint made of back then? This guy had aluminum all over his face. It was like absorbing a loo... Your face is skin. Skin's an organ.

That's why you can put medication on your skin. Your body fucking absorbs it. His body was absorbing aluminum. Wow. He got violently ill, and they just replaced him with another dude. And apparently all the little people were staying in the same hotel in Culver City, and it was a fuck fest. They were staying up all night, and there's, like, famous stories about it. Brad Williams knows all about it.

Were they staying in Culver City, or were they staying at the Safari in Burbank? Someone told me they were staying at the Safari. No, I heard it was Culver City, but wherever it was. Brad Williams told you about it? He's the little people historian? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Culver Hotel. I'm looking up to his history.

The Culver Hotel. Yeah. 24 of them stayed there. 124. Fucking parking. In seven rooms. Bro. Movies back then, I mean, it was wild.

Three to a bed. You weren't off. Wow, that's hilarious. That's crazy. Debturous parties. Sleeping three to a bed. Three to a bed. Wow.

Famous and infamous guests. That's incredible. Yeah. Yeah, they got away with a lot back then. Well, Judy Garland was, I mean, they worked her hard. She was only 17 years old. Really? Yeah, and she, God, I mean, you got to see it.

It's worth the truth. I don't love Vegas. Like, I find it just feels hollow to me. But then there's things that are worth going to Vegas to see. Obviously, MMA fights would be amazing. Yeah, you want to go to Vegas. I guess go to restaurants, go to events, and then get out. Get out.

Don't go to Circus, circus. It's a 48-hour trip, 36 if possible. Yeah. The people that live there, boy, you have a different constitution than me. Yeah. I'm not built that way. Well, Vinnie Favorito's there, and he's having a really good time. There's only a few comics that live there.

Doesn't Pauly live there? No, a lot of comics live there now. A lot? Yeah. Well, the tax reasons, a lot of them. Yeah, there's tax reasons. And also, there's so many seven night a week rooms where they pay the feature is okay. So you can actually, even if you're not headlining every week and then you have residencies.

What's his name has a residency? Tuesday night of Jimmy Kimmel's. Oh, I'm forgetting his name. He was a big Chelsea lately comic. Anyway, there's a lot of comics that live there now. Interesting. Because we're talking about a second location for the mothership. and the two main candidates are New York City and Vegas.

And while I was thinking with Vegas, we would have to do it differently. We would just fly in comics every week. And then, you know, would we have enough local talent, I was saying, to have a development program? So part of the program that's involved in the mothership is one of the things that always bothered me. if I would go to like a really nice improv on the road is they didn't have a development program. They didn't have open mic nights. And I think like they were doing that because you could get a Sunday night or a Monday night and sell out with you or, you know, whoever. Have some headliner come in and pack the place or you could develop local talent, which I think you have to do.

I really think like if you want a club to function properly, it's got to be like a place where you could develop new talent. Like Denver. Who's doing it? Right. Denver's great. Wendy's the best. And the way she does it is amazing. And she has a whole program where she takes people from features and, you know, like hosts and makes them features. And then eventually.

And pays them enough where they can, you know, pay their rent. Yes. And also makes sure that it's like a healthy community. There's no hacks. There's no thieves. You know. And most comedy clubs don't do that. They just want to make money, right?

So they don't pay the comics very well. and they also, they don't pay, we pay different than any other club. And then they, on top of that, they don't really support development. We have two nights of open mic nights. And that was like part of the program. When Adam Egan and I sat down and when we first hashed out the idea doing the club, we said, the thing was like, what would be the best thing for comedy? What would be the best thing in terms of, like, developing new comedians?

Like, you have to have open mic nights. You have to have it. And then having Kill Tony's gigantic. having a place where not only do you have this place where someone who's never been on stage before could do a fucking minute in Madison Square Garden, which is what a lot of people did. Arenas, you get people going up for the very first time ever in front of 16,000 people. But you also have this thing where you see someone who's a beginner do pretty well and Tony invites them back. And then maybe gives them a golden ticket or maybe makes them a regular where they're a regular thing.

Every week they have the opportunity to do a new minute. Or sometimes a comic will go, I want you to feature for me in Atlanta next week. Always. It happens all the time. Well, a lot of these guys are now headlining on the road. You know, guys like Ari Maddie, William Montgomery, Cam Patterson's now on Saturday Night Live. So the idea was to have it set up where you have enough talent to develop new headliners, you know, like Boston did, like L.A. was at one point in time. And I don't, I was thinking, I don't know if there's enough talent in Vegas. You know, because you...

I think there is. I think you'd be surprised. We need headliners, right? You don't need just like people that are starting out. They're pretty good. And I think most comedy communities are very top down, right? The level of the best guys raises the level of everybody else. New York City obviously has a tremendous amount of talent. New York City's always been one of the best, if not the best place for talent on the planet.

Right. And then L.A. has always been really good, but L.A., a lot of people were distracted and much more interested in a career in Hollywood than they were actually just being really good at stand-up. Whereas New York, I always felt was more pure. Those guys like Attell and a lot of these guys, Patrice, they were just interested in being great comics. And guys like Samarrell and Mark Norman now and Joe List, the pure comics. Yes, a ton of guys. There's a ton of talent there. And if you set up a club in New York City, the way the mothership is, is where the comics get 80% of the money, where you know, you have these nights where you're developing, we have a legitimate talent coordinator that's actually watching people and giving them advice and giving new spots. And he has a whole database of comedians that are potentially, you know, that have potential. Oh, dude, no, Monday nights, because I'm doing Kill Tony Monday night. So I always, it's my favorite because then I go with Adam to the open mic night before kill Tony. I fucking love it. It's there's always the, because it encourages weirdos. Oh, of course.

And you get guys that are just out of their fuck. It's like, are you homeless or are you a genius? Like you see. Might be both. Yeah. Right. Yeah, we had a lot of that at the store. Remember potluck nights? Uh-huh. You know, we'd stroll in there like eight o'clock on a Monday and be like this place is crazy. Yeah, I love that. It's all those weirdos hanging around. Yeah. It's good. It's good for the art form. And some of the, and some of those people will make it through the net. You know, one out of a hundred, one out of a thousand, whatever the number is, some of those people will eventually be your peers. And those will be the more interesting comics because so much of this industry is about trust fund kids. Like, you go out to do stand-up comedy and whether it's L.A. or New York, you can't afford to do it

unless you've got a parent helping you pay the rent. And then it's some kid who took classes at the UCB. He's got a marketing degree from Villanova. And they become social media marketers who do really bland suburban comedy. Is that a New York thing? Where is that happening? No, I see that. I see that everywhere. I see that everywhere.

That's recent? Is that a recent thing? I just feel like it's become so much more about marketing than about freaks getting on stage because they have no other options. I like comics that don't have a plan B. These are people that have college. They have masters in fucking marketing. You know, it's like, come on. Go make some room for the freaks, will you?

Well, you can always make room for the freaks. You just need a real legitimate open mic night, and the freaks will always be there. That's what I mean. That's why this is good. Well, the thing about, like, I know there's certain clubs that will allow influencers to come in and do a night, like, people that literally have no act, but they have, like, a big TikTok following. Yeah, but they'll give them, like, an off night, like a Monday or Tuesday where they're not excluding a real comic. Sometimes not. Sometimes they'll give them a fucking weekend.

because they know people will come out to see them. Right. You know, I mean, these people will sell out way in advance, and people are just excited that they're there, you know. Well, the problem with that is when you talk about certain clubs, like the punchline in San Francisco or Denver Comedy Works, they have a brand. And if I live in Denver,

I know that if I go to the Comedy Works on a Friday night and I don't know who's headlining, I'm going to see a quality show. Yes. Now, if you start bringing in a social media flunky and I go to the Denver Comedy Works and I see that, I'm not going back to that club again. It's bad in the long term.

At the Denver Comedy Works, but you might get that at one of the improvs. Right. You know, or one of the other corporate comedy clubs. These clubs that don't have a development program, they don't think about it the same. Like, you can't think of comedy the same way you would think about optimizing your income in any other business. You can't think of it as I'm going to make the most money possible with this business. Because it's not that. It's, you have to think of it.

it is like this is an art colony. You're creating an art colony. What's the best way to do it? Make it really awesome for the people that are artists. Right. Make a great community. Make it so it's a lot of fun. Make it so that you can give people guidance and encourage them and, you know, maybe give them spots on some of the bigger shows.

And we have a whole program like that. And then we... Door Guy program is all comics that audition. All those door guys that are at the mothership, they all auditioned with their act to get that. It's great. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah.

you know, it's good. Helium does a pretty good job with that in their clubs. I'm going to be in Philly next week. That's a great club. That's a great club. Helium and Philly is one of the best. And they really do develop new talent. And then, you know, if they get somebody who's good, they've got five or six clubs around the country and they send those guys out the future.

No, it's great for that. It's also, they know how to do it. If you go to a helium, like the helium in Portland's awesome. You know Portland's fucking disastrous. The helium was great. Yeah. They always know what they're doing. And they own Cap City now, too.

So they're in Austin as well. Yeah. Which is nice. They just kicked Rappaport out. Who's Rappaport? Michael Rappaport. Kicked him out of where? Cap City.

What do you mean? He kicked him out? He used to perform there? He was supposed to be there. And they canceled his shows because of his... Pro-Israel stance? Really? Well, I don't think it's pro-Israel.

I think it's anti-Palestinian. Oh. That's what they claimed. I don't know, but there was enough response that they canceled his shows. So weird I know Like they were calling them racist

I was like what Michael Rappaport It just seems weird That political stances Are legitimate reasons To kick a kid out of college You know One political stance

Yeah One particular one Yeah Yeah it's nuts Well how about that one girl Or kick somebody out of the country A college student Yeah she was a college student

Was it Columbia I forgot where it was. But she got kicked out of class, and I think they were trying to deport her because she wrote some anti-Israel piece. Yeah. A piece. Wrote it. Didn't light a building on fire?

Students have been kicked out of the country. That kind of influence is crazy, especially at an institution of higher learning, which is supposed to be a place where you challenge ideas. It's supposed to be a place where if someone comes in and you have a particular stance on, you know, fill in the blank, whatever it is, Ukraine. Someone else is supposed to say, you're wrong and here's why. And then the whole audience is supposed to listen to these very compelling speeches, very compelling debates. And you learn.

You learn about how people formulate opinions. When I was a kid, when I was in high school, when I was at Newton South High School, Barney Frank came in, and he had a debate with a guy from the moral majority. Do you remember the moral majority? Of course. Yeah. So that was the right-wing group when we were in high school. And he was a gay congressman.

Nobody knew he was gay at the time. Except me. I sniffed him out. No. I sniffed his ass. I smell 16 different things at once. My puppy does to my dog. I smell fudge.

So I went to it and I watched it. And it was really interesting because Barney Frank trouts the guy from the moral majority. More a majority guy seemed like a closeted gay guy, like a weird guy. Oh, that was the whole group. Yeah, yeah. Weird, just weird. He had an American flag pin on his lapel. He looked at a pocket.

There was something about the way he said. It was very disingenuous. The words he was, the way he was talking didn't resonate. Whereas Barney Frank was like logical and intelligent. And I was like, this is good. This is a good. I remember being in high school, go, this is really interesting. I learned a lot from that.

I learned how these guys think and I learned how this guy thinks. And as they went back and forth, Barney Frank was just way more prepared, just way more articulate. It was better. Yeah. And so that's why it's good to have like conservative, ridiculous. or progressive, ridiculous people, anybody ridiculous. Have someone debate them. Have that kind of open discourse.

Yes. But when you kick someone out of school for a paper that they wrote, the person that's legally in that class, allowed to be there, supposed to be there, what you're saying is you're intimidating people and keeping them from expressing their opinions because they don't want to be like that lady. They don't want to get the boot too. If your parents, you know, if you, your parents are from India and they scraped up the money to send you to Harvard or wherever the fuck it is and you're in America and, you know, they hear about this. You're better not fucking talk some fucking shit.

I don't fucking kick you out. Like, dad, dad, relax. I'm not going to do it. Like you get intimidated from speaking like that or from speaking about anything that's controversial because you could perhaps get kicked out of the fucking school now. Yeah. Which is crazy because you're encouraging people to self-censor. You're discouraging free speech and communication, and you're discouraging debate and challenging ideas, which is supposed to be a giant part of being in a university.

No, when I was at BU, which you were at for a minute, right? No, I was teaching now. You're teaching there. The president, John Silber, who was, you know, very conservative, and he was pretty active in the Central American, you know, sponsoring. fucking uprisings in Central America. So there was a professor there named, you know this guy. He wrote the book, Howard Zinn.

Okay. So Howard Zinn was a professor there, and he used to go after Silber. And there was a lot of debates on campus. There was kids on both sides, and they kept Zin there because they realized that was a vibrant voice that students needed to hear to go against a lot of what was conservative. And there was anti-apartheid marches, and there was a lot of politics. BU was actually very much like Berkeley in the 60s. BU was very outspoken. And, you know, you think about the liberal kind.

Like George Carlin used to tape his comedy specials at colleges. And they were much more conservative back then. College campuses were not as liberal. And he would go in there, but people were open to hearing a different voice. Yeah. And now Seinfeld won't even play it. Colleges. I think he said he does play college.

Oh, he does. He says it's not the true. I think Chris Rock does. I don't. I haven't in a long. I stopped doing them a long time ago. I remember I was doing a show in Miami and I was talking about sex and I remember saying, I remember like, I saw a lot of them look confused. I go, how many people are virgins?

And a bunch of people clapped and raised their hands. I go, fuck. That's crazy. Like, you should not be hearing about blow jobs from me. especially in this context in a joke form like this is nuts I was like there's not enough life experience and people are so set in their ways also they're so

ready to like protest things they're so ready to show that you're wrong and they're so ready to heckle oh yeah Christ yeah this is not worth it I want people with like bills I want people that have like fucking breakups and divorces and life experience they had a couple of cocktails. Those are my people. Let's talk some shit. Let's have some fun. I want people

that have lived life. Yeah, and I don't want people that I don't even want high school graduates at my shows. Can you imagine going and doing a show at a high school? Oh my God. I did one. When I was doing a bunch, I used to do a lot of colleges when I was coming up in my 20s, dude, it paid the rent. Oh yeah, I did a lot of those. I used to go out. I'd make like a thousand bucks a show. They'd book me on. I'd do 10 shows in seven days because I would do nooners. So I I would rent a car in Chicago, and then I would drive through North Dakota, fucking Minnesota in January, through snowstorms. I'd do a noon show. I remember once, I was in a cafeteria.

Nobody knew there was going to be comedy. They're all just eating lunch. And all of a sudden, there's no stage, no light. I got a microphone, and I am plugged into the same speakers as the pizza joint. So I would be in the middle of a joke And I'd be like Ronnie pepperoni Up in the window

I had a similar gig with Mike Clark Oh really? A one off He only did it one time And I was the comic that did it And it was a waiting room For a restaurant

It was an enormous restaurant Down the Cape And you know You're waiting for your table To get ready And you're in a lounge And I was telling jokes I was like Johnson Party of Five

Johnson Party of Five Your table's ready And like oh no And when I realized It came with It became the running gag of my set. And it was fun. It was fun.

Well, you remember we used to do those gigs in New England where if the Red Sox were in the playoffs, that TV, the sound might be off, but the TV was staying on. Always. Yeah. Yeah. Hockey games. Yeah. I remember doing games. You were at the Bill Rick in 99.

That shit. And by the way, you wanted it wrong because if they shut it off and then you had to do comedy, that was even worse. Right, right. That was even worse. And if they lost the game, that was bad. Oh, yeah. Then they turned on you. You did it.

Dude, the first night I ever did stand-up comedy. And then I didn't do it for a little while after this. But my first night was the night that the New England Patriots lost to the Chicago Bears was 1986. Oh, no. And they got fucking crushed. I forget what the score was, but it was bad. And I went on comedy hell that night. George McDonald brought me up on Comedy Hell at Stitch's Comedy Club, and I tanked it.

Wow. Yeah, I didn't go up on stage again for a while after that. Comedy hell was great. Comedy hell. Remember he used to do that little run at the beginning of the show? This was the open mic night in Boston for years. Yeah.

Sunday night at Stitches. And this was like, I mean, the lineups, when we were doing it, the open mic night was like, me, you, Dane, Bill Burr was a little bit after us, and Mark Marin would be on there, and fucking Louis would be there.

and he would start the show by going, Welcome to Comedy Hell, where the pipe dreams of a handful of comedy yokos can soar as high as the lights on Broadway or crash and burn in that fiery pit known only as Comedy Hell. And then he would see guys who are like legit pros who would do guest spots.

Like I remember one time I watched Teddy Bergeron when Teddy was in his prime. And people forgot about Teddy Bergeron. It's really unfortunate because he had a bunch of personal and substance issues that kind of derailed his career. But when he was on in his prime, he was so smooth and so slick. And I remember watching him because I had only done comedy like twice at that time. And he went up and did a set.

I was like, I should quit now. There's no way. This is so far away from me. This is so good. It's so polished. And then he had that big set on the Tonight Show. And remember we played the piano? You ever see that set that he had on the show?

Fucking Gene. You sat down on the couch with Johnny, Johnny brought him over on his first appearance. He was like, oh, my God, Teddy Bergeron's going to be a star. Then apparently, like, he's in Holland. He went off the rails. Just went off the rails and drugs and went crazy and partying. And it never worked out for him. No, and then he should have been huge.

But did you hear what happened after that Tonight Show set? Like, he wasn't popular in Boston. He had a huge ego. And then the drinking got bad. And so he did the Tonight Show. and then he was face down drunk in front of the next comedy stop, laying on the stairs. And Don Gavin just walked by and he looked at him.

He goes, didn't I see him on the Tonight Show? He had a huge ego. They didn't like him? I don't know. Is that what it was? Because a lot of those guys got very resentful of guys who left Boston and made it. There was a lot of what about me? What about me?

There was a lot of that when Stephen Wright made it. A lot of guys got very pissed because Stephen Wright, he's not even a fucking headliner. There was a lot of them. You know about the night that he got to Tonight Show, right? The guy, Jim Downey, who was the Booker for the Tonight Show, this is back in the 80s, early 80s, and he hears about this comedy scene in Boston because you've got Sweeney and Gavin and Kenny Rodgers.

Killers. Killers. And it was one of the first cities to really explode in terms of clubs popping up everywhere and lines of people get into the shows. And so Jim Downey goes, all right, let me check it out. So he flies to Boston. And there was this club called the Ding Ho, which was the first place to really house comedy and boss.

So they get the best of, get all lined up, and they're in the green room, and they're chopping up lines of blow, and they're getting on stage and their jokes about, what about the hair in Malden? It's not as big as the hair in Revea. And it's like, that's not going to play on the Tonight Show. Right. And they're killing, but none of it is right for Tonight Show. And then Stephen Wright, they put him on at a pity at the end of the show. And I remember, I'm not going to say which, but one of the comedians had pulled Steve aside and said, look, Stephen, he'd been struggling for years, not doing well. And they've got, this is not for you, man.

You've got to try something else. Wow. So Stephen Wright goes up, and he does his set, and he does good, and they fly him out the next week for the Tonight Show. He was the only one that got it. And they were irate. And he killed so hard, Johnny said, stay in town. We're going to bring you back next week.

And he did the show like four or five times that first year and exploded. It was one of the biggest comics of the 80s. Wow. Local news is in decline across Canada. And this is bad news for all of us. With less local news, noise, rumors, and misinformation fill the void. And it gets harder to separate truth from fiction. That's why CBC News is putting more journalists in more.

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So it kind of really broke in like 82 to 84. You and I came in and I came in at 88. And you did the 86 set, that one set, but then you did it again. That started in 88. Yeah. Right before me. Like, we started like the same week. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it was crazy. And I think it was still really good, but it was still building. Drifting away. Yeah, yeah. In the next two years, it had died off significantly. Well, what happened was there was so much comedy on TV. There was all these, you know, one hour shows where everybody did a six-minute set.

Comedy on the road. Half-hour comedy hour. A fairer comedy hour. And so it got kind of, it got kind of over-examined. exposed. And so the club started opening everywhere. And then as it fell off, they started papering the rooms, giving out free passes. And so, I mean, I still experience, you know, if I go into a new market, especially if it's like an improv where it's five or six hundred seats and I'm there for five shows, they'll give out a fair amount of free passes. Dude, I feel that immediately.

Yeah, it's not the same crowd. Yeah, they're not really that interested in it. It was just something to do. Yeah. Yeah, they're not committed to it. So then it just, and then there was so many rooms and not enough comedians to do well in those rooms. And so it kind of sagged and it went away. And I really wonder now, like, we've been in a kind of COVID launched, post-COVID launched comedy. Like, it's never been at these heights that it's at right now. I mean, you got, you got people like you doing arenas.

And there's not a couple. There's a, there's, you know, a dozen people doing arena shows now. Yeah. And then you've got theaters of different sizes. Then you've got clubs of different sizes. Then you've got little pop-up shows all of it. Don't tell comedy, you know, about this thing where they just do like pop-up shows. They basically have a mailing list.

And they'll announce, like, the day before they're doing a show, and it'll sell out. It's everywhere. Wow. And so I really, everybody's wondering, when does this one end? It feels like it's starting to get a little softer. People are talking about it. Well, it's just all dependent on how much talent's generated. Yeah.

So if you have clubs that are trying to generate new talent, there's no reason why it can't be just like Boston. Yep. Like Austin, the street where we have the mothership on, there's seven clubs within walking distance, seven that are at least three, four nights a week. There's the sunset room that's Red Band's room that's right down the street from our club, which is great. You got Creek in the Cave, which is great, one block away. You got the Vulcan, which is great. another two blocks away. It's crazy just on that street.

You got the Black Rabbit. You got the Velvita room. Then you got Cap City where a lot of headliners come in, which is about 20 minutes away. Are there little outs? Like when we started in Boston, there was rooms in the suburbs in every direction. All over the place.

Because that's where you can actually make some money. Yeah, well, a lot of these comics book places now. They'll book a comedy night at a barbecue place, comedy night at a bar. They'll go to dripping springs. They go to here. They go to there. I was just talking to a guy the other.

the day he's like yeah we're doing a comedy night at my club i'm like that's fucking great you ever do any of them no no i remember when i was i was at skank fest a couple months ago and uh you know mark norman's from new orleans yeah and i and you know and then it's fucking nuts like literally from the time you wake up until five in the morning where you end up at larry flint's barely legal club which, you know, Louis C.K. has this whole thing about the barely legal. Like, all right, here's the pitch. She's barely legal.

I won't do his bit, but it's very fun. But the point is, like, Mark Norman is there, and I run into a comp and they go, yeah, yeah, I have this little bar show. And, yeah, Mark Norman just came by and did it. Like, I was like, how fucking cool is that? Oh, he drops in everywhere. Yeah.

Yeah. He does, when he's in town doing the mothership, he'll go down the street, doing much of sets. But that's the New York way. Yeah. they do 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there. They hop from club to club. Yeah.

They're used to that. You got to do skank facts. Even stop by skank fest for 24 hours. They've got a nude roast where literally everybody on stage is nude, including the judges. And then they've got boxing, comedians boxing each other outside. The green room is filled with mushrooms and acid and weed and open bars. And then you've got, I mean, it's basically. Basically, it's kind of like when we used to go to the Montreal Comedy Festival, you got big by doing a set in front of the industry, getting a deal, and then hopefully getting on TV.

Well, that doesn't exist anymore. Now it's about how do I get canceled. That's how you get famous. And this is a festival that is trying to help you get canceled. You got 7,000 people with cell phones taping you, you know, going on stage and, you know, saying the most horrendous shit. It is fucking great. Yeah, everybody who goes says it's awesome. Yeah.

I fully support it. I support the idea. I think it's really good for comedy. And it's also like just, it's like the Vegas version of a comedy festival. You know, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, like go nuts. All right. You know, it's New Year's Eve. Go nuts.

It's Skank Fest. Go nuts. They had Miss Skank Fest contest. And I said the winner, the winner, they reunite the winner with her family. with their parents. They were like, I mean, it's skankfest nines, skankfest tens, which would be like sixes in other places. A lot of guys with like cargo shorts and black sneakers and like anthrax t-shirts and mullets. Subscription to gas digital.

Yeah. Girlfriends that are impossibly hotter than they should deserve. I don't know what that quotient is, but there was a lot of that. That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Comedy's at a good place right now. Tom O'Neill came with me this year.

Oh, really? And then Duncan Trussell was having his podcast, and I introduced Tom to Duncan. Well, first me, Tom and Duncan were talking for like... We should tell everybody, Tom O'Neill's the guy who wrote Chaos. Oh, right, of course. Charles Manson book. Yes. Who you introduced me to.

Which, by the way, you have never recommended anybody for the podcast before. That's right. But that guy, you're like, dude, you got to talk to him. Because I know how much you're into Manson, how much into that story. CIA. It's all in there. Crazy. Yeah.

That book is bananas. It's bananas, and he's working on another volume. Really? Yeah. Is it going to be another 20 years? Has he got an editor? No, because what happened is it took 20 years last time because he just kept going down rabbit holes. And then finally his, well, you know, first he got a big deal from a major publisher.

And after seven or eight years, they sued him to get the money. They gave him a lot of money. And they sued him to get it back. And then he's driving an Uber. He's teaching English as a second language. He's fucking, you know, drinking, drinking booze out of a paper cup. And so then... It had to have paid off, though.

The book must have done giant, right? What happened was, then his publisher said, look, come on, there's something here. He paired him up with this other guy. I wish I could remember the guy's name right now. Dan, Dan something. And he rained Tom in. And in one year, he took, he had shelves around his apartment filled with binders with notes. He had boxes of cassette tapes of interviews.

And this guy somehow got in there and Corey, Corey, Oh, Dan Piperberg. Yeah, who's a very successful biographer. What is his name again? Dan Piperberg. Push that up again? Piping bring. Oh, Pipe and Bring.

Yeah. Okay. So he reined him in and got the book out in a year. And they were able to resell it for a lot of the money, paid back to back debt. And now he's hitting, I don't want to talk about Tom's finances, but he's doing well. He's doing very well. I know so many people that have read that book. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I've talked about it 100 times. Yeah. It's amazing. It's amazing because it's all true. That's what's nuts. Like the stuff that's verifiable, factual evidence in that story makes you go, what the fuck else did they do that we don't know about? Right, because Tom is a real journalist.

He didn't put anything in there that wasn't triple corroborated. Right. And he, even, to his credit, at the end, does not say this happened. He said, I never found the smoking gun. So here's all the evidence. Right. Take what you will from it. It's a bunch of, I mean, the thing about Tom is, he comes from a family of geniuses.

His brother is the American ambassador to Haiti. Like, they're all like PhDs up the air. He's brilliant. And so he's also Irish, and he's a great Irish storyteller. So each chapter, whether you're talking about Jolly Well. or whatever. They're just, each chapter is a great story. Yeah. On top of being good journalism.

It's an amazing book. Yeah. I think I might reread it. I might go back. Don't listen to it on tape. He hates the book on tape. I thought it was great. I listened to it. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay. I loved it. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I would understand why you hate someone else speaking your words, but he probably

shouldn't have done it. Yeah. Why didn't he do it? He's a good speaker. He was great on the podcast. He, yeah, he was great on the podcast. He could do it. He got better. In his early interviews, I used to say, Tom, you look like you're a hostage, giving out a message from the captains with a gun at your head. And then he got really good at it. Well, on mine, he was very loose, very comfortable.

But he also knew it was friendly territory. He knew that I'm a very good friend of yours and that I was really excited about it. Yeah. And it was going to help him. Yeah. If he does the second one, I would encourage him to read it. I would encourage him to read it. I think he could kill it.

And to come back on here. Oh, 100% I'd have him back on before he does it, just to talk about it. Yeah. You know, I mean, I think the impact of that book has opened up a lot of people's eyes to the fucking shenanigans that were going on back then. Yeah, when we were at Skankfest, so Duncan and I are talking to time for like a half an hour, and Duncan doesn't know who I just introduced him as Tom. And then when I brought up chaos and that he wrote it, Duncan's jaw dropped because he's obsessed with the book. Yeah.

So he was doing a live podcast from Skank Fest. So he hadn't booked guests yet. So we booked me and Tom to come on his podcast. And then Kurt Metzger also, which is hilarious. Oh, no. Because Tom is trying to stay on point and get to these things. And Metzger is sitting there. He's smoking a joint the size of my forearm and just crack.

Oh, my God. He was manic. It was so funny. Wrangling him on a podcast. It's so different than anybody else. Because he'll go one subject to the next subject. You don't know? What about this?

And the Kissinger's? You don't know? You don't know about the Rockefellers? You don't know about this? What they did in the 60s? You're like, okay, go back to the first thing you said about what's in school lunches. It's like you got to bring him back on point. Well, that's why his girlfriend is so great because she is a mini wrangler of Kurt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She can keep him on point a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's hilarious. Yeah, he's great. He's great. I know. And a good writer.

He's written on a lot of big show. shows. Oh, he's a great joke, right? Yeah. He came on the last time he did my episode, my podcast rather, the episode he dressed up like John Lilly, who's the psychedelic pioneer from the 70s. So he had a Coonskin hat on and a wig, and he put on a one-handed glove with a skeleton fingers on it. I go, what do you? You don't even know who John Lilly is. This is so crazy. Yeah, he feels like the kind of guy that is not hung up on getting famous or getting Rich, he just really enjoys like ideas and communicating

ideas. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. There he is. Oh, that's hilarious. He's wig. He's a fun hang in the green room, too. He's such a maniac. By the way, today is the this is the 25th time I've been on your podcast. I was looking up yesterday. I was like, how many times I've been on the fucking show? This is 25th. That's crazy.

Yeah. Because we used to do it all the time when you were just starting out. I know. Yeah. And a lot of times it was at the ice house. Mm-hmm. Yeah, we did the ice house. You did it at my house.

Yeah. And then when I finally got a little mini studio and that little strip mall. Yeah. I know. Those ice house shows were crazy because we would have a stand-up show going, and then you'd have about six people on the podcast with a joint going the entire time in this small room. And I have never been high on stage in my life. life except for those shows because it was secondhand smoke. I would literally get so baked in and then I remember going on stage, and then so you would

go from the podcast to the stage and then to come back on the podcast, people would just swap out. Yeah, House Chronicles. Oh my God, dude. We thought about doing something similar to that at the mothership, like putting together a podcast studio at the mothership. We have considered doing that. You have space for it?

No. But I thought about buying another building next to me. You know, and then, like, doing something else with that, too. Yeah. Build another stage, too. I don't think so. I think we have enough stages. Yeah.

Yeah. I think the next move in terms of a club would be we go to another city and try to do the same thing and really put a lot of time and money and effort into making it right. Really making it right. Buying a building. One thing I thought would be really crazy. If I could buy a big building in New York and really. and recreate the exact interior of the mothership. Exactly.

Well, that's what the punchline did in Sacramento. It's almost the same room as the San Francisco one. Oh, really? And then I think the comedy seller Vegas room is similar to the New York room. Ah, that's good. Yeah. I thought about literally recreating it with the two staircases to the two separate rooms. Yeah.

Like finding a building that has the same dimensions or something. Kind of perfect. Yeah. I love the walk to the stage because you're in the green room and you got to go down. I fly to stairs. Then you kind of feel the show over your head as you're walking underneath it. You pop up. Yeah.

Yeah. We built all that. There was no tunnel there before. We made all that. Oh, no shit. Yeah. Yeah, we had to build all that. Oh, wow.

Yeah, that was an idea of the architect Richard came up with. Yeah, we just decided somewhere along the like, what was the best way to get to the state? We're trying to figure out how to get to the stage. You don't want to have to go through the crowd, and he came up with the idea of a tunnel. And it was based on there's like some folklore or mythology around tunnels in Austin that connect clubs. And like he was all big on the history of Austin. I feel like it goes back to the gladiators, too, walking under the arena. Well, that's why if you go into the green room, all those posters on the wall are all people that actually performed at the Ritz.

Oh, no shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, when you look up, you see Willie Nelson. Black Flag, all those guys, they actually performed, Stevie Ray Vaughn. They actually performed at the Ritz. There's a photo of Steve Ravon as you're walking to the stage. Yeah, yeah, right. That photo is him on stage at the Ritz.

Wow. In I think 1983 or something like that. Yeah. So it was a rock and roll club for a long time. Isn't it funny how Stevie Ravon and Bill Hicks are kind of the same guy? In what way? I just feel like they're outlaw Texans who just like free expression and balls. Genius.

And they kind of had the same style, like the way they dressed and hair. And I just always think of them as the same guy. Interesting. Most people think of Alex Jones as Bill Hicks. Like there was a rumor that Alex Jones is Bill Hicks. Which makes no sense. When's the last time you had that guy in the show? Oh, it's been a while.

It was probably a few years ago. Yeah. I see him occasionally. Yeah. Yeah. They're still trying to get a billion dollars out of him. Still trying to... The Connecticut Shooter and your families?

Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Does he have a billion dollars? No. No. I think they made him liquidate his business. I don't know what's going on with it now. Jesus. It's crazy.

Yeah, but the rumor was that he was Bill Hicks. That Bill Hicks was actually Alex Jones. That's funny. Crazy. Yeah. They were both alive at the same time. They're very different people. Oh.

But it doesn't have to be logical for it to be a good conspiracy. Yeah. You know, there's people that still think Tupac's alive. Yeah. It's a lot of goofy house experiences. People think Jim Morrison's alive. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's the other one?

Oh, Andy Kaufman, of course. Oh, right. I had, who was his sidekick, Andy Kaufman's sidekick? Bob Zamuda. Bob Zimuda. So I had Bob Zimuda. He had written a book about Andy Kaufman and claiming he's still alive. So he comes over to my, I was doing my show in my garage at that point, and he comes over and about

45 minutes since the podcast, I go, I go, so how does Andy's family feel about you saying this stuff about him still being alive? And he's like, oh, they're fine with that. I said, I kind of heard that they're, you know, a little myth, that they think it's disrespectful. He's clearly dead. So we go back and forth and it gets superheated. And he flips out and he throws his chair over and he fucking storms out. And that was the end of the podcast.

And I was just like, all right, that was weird. And I'm here to announce for the first time. That was a fake. It was an Andy Kaufman-esque stunt that he flipped out and left the podcast. And you never talked about it? Nope. We did it in the spirit, Andy Kaufman. And people were probably like, oh, my God, this is so crazy.

It was a latehers ago asking about it. Bob's a moon of Meltdown on Gregford-Timmons podcast. A very interesting conversation. But when it escalates at the end, it just blows up. Question. Real or Kaufman-esque? Stuck. Oh, that's funny.

That was funny, and you kept it under wraps this entire time? I've never talked about it. That's funny. Yeah. Well, that makes sense with Zimuda. He would do that Tony Clifton character. Oh, my God. Yeah, and he would dress up as Andy Kaufman's Tony Clifton and do, you know, do appearances.

Well, yeah, Andy would say, I'm coming to Vegas to do the Tony Clifton character, and then Zimuda would be the one doing it. And people always would be going like, what the fuck? I just paid $100. $50 sandy coffin. Yeah, he did a lot of odd stuff. Yeah. Remember when he worked as a waiter at Jerry's Famous Deli? Oh, I didn't know that.

Oh, no, he worked as a bus boy. There's a photo of him on the wall while he was on taxi. So he was on the biggest television show in the country. Yeah. And he had like an apron on and he was carrying a fucking dish tray filled with like people's dirty dishes. Wow. Yeah. That photo, look at that photo.

look at that photo that photo photo was on the wall at jerry's famous deli Andy Coffin worked there so he was on TV he was a huge star and you'd go and order a pastrami Rubin and Andy Coffin would clean your table yeah what about the wrestling women was genius oh he did a lot of nutty shit dude he locked into that character people went nuts is that a video oh that's hilarious well there's a documentary about it that's what was just popping up

of him working at Jerry's Dill? Oh, this is I guess a trailer for it. Oh, so it's just a documentary about him. He was a nut, man. That was the one movie where, like, a lot of people kind of freaked out about Jim Carrey. Where, like, he kind of got way too into that role. It's sort of, like, almost, like, seemed to embody Andy Kaufman. Oh, he talked about that it fucked him up afterwards.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And offstage, he was, you know. He acted like an asshole to people. How weird. Which is not like him. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

That whole method acting thing, like becoming a person, especially an actual human, where you have to sort of like figure out their brain patterns and their behavior patterns and imitate it. And then you get trapped in it. Yeah. Well. Since Segras and talks to play Samuda in a movie. Oh, wow. Recently?

That's what this article is about. About that. It's very confusing because I saw it. When I pad that up, I saw this screenshot. I'm like, why is Tom in that? Oh, interesting. Yeah, this article from 2024. Oh, interesting.

I don't know what happened to it. It doesn't seem like much. Yeah, that's all. There's a good documentary. It just came out last week on Mel Brooks. I mean, you can't understate Mel Brooks's effect on every, whether you're a comedian or a writer or a comedy director. that guy just, I mean, when I was a kid, my dad used to play 2,000-year-old man for me, those albums with Rob Reiner.

I'm sorry, Carl Reiner. And I was obsessed, and the producers was my father's favorite movie. It became my favorite movie. And, you know, you just think about, like, how fucking, your show of shows as a writer early on and, you know, and just going on to do... Young Frankenstein. Young Frankenstein.

Blazing saddles. You know who? The movie talks about, you know who wrote Blazing Saddles with him? Who? Richard Pryor. Oh, that makes sense. Isn't that fucking crazy? He was supposed to play the sheriff.

Wow. Spaceballs. Spaceballs. Yeah, that's crazy. But it's a two-part documentary. I only saw the first half. Spaceballs is the reason why Tesla's Model S is called the Plaid. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious. It's also the reason why the starship is shaped the way it is at the tip. Uh-huh. Like Elon wanted to be like Spaceballs. It's like, make it more pointy. Uh-huh. Oh, that's funny.

He loves space balls. Yeah. That's so funny. Oh, yeah, that would be perfect for him. Of course. Wow. Of course. Yeah. Of course.

Are you going to get an optimist when it comes out? You're going to have a robot companion in your home? Oh, hell yeah. Why wouldn't you? Because I don't want a robot in my house. It's like connected to the internet. I don't have Alexa. I don't have anything in my home.

I don't have any speakers that can listen to me because they are listening. Dude, how often are you talking? about, like I started getting Austin feeds, little videos in my Instagram feed about Austin. I never get those. I started getting them yesterday. What the fuck is that? They know you're coming.

Yeah. Well, wasn't there a lawsuit that Google had to just recently settle where it turned out that there were certain times where your phone was listening to you, which is why you're getting ads for things that you had discussed? Oh yeah. Happens all the time.

But it was a rumor for a long time. Yeah. That's just a conspiracy theory. People like, this seems weird. Google settled 68 million in class action over alleged recording of private conversations. That's nothing. That's very small. That's nothing. Yeah. So what is it? What was the accusation? They have agreed to pay $68 million to settle a class action lawsuit, alleging they unlawfully recorded users' conversations through Google assist enabled devices without consent. The proposed Google settlement is pending approval from a federal judge, U.S. District Court for Northern District of California. Class action lawsuit was filed in 2019 after consumers accused Google of concealing that

the, that its assistant enabled devices could unintentionally activate and record conversations inside users' homes. So that's just for that. But that's like, did not intentionally activate it with a hot word such as, hey Google. Because it's listening to you all the time. So it's listening for you to say, hey, Google. But that's, you know, that's just Google assistant devices. I don't have one of those.

But yet my phone will bring up suggestions and ads for things that I've discussed that I haven't looked up. Just have the conversations about it and it'll pop up. That's crazy. I don't think they would tell you. I think it's all metadata. It's all hidden. So there's no way to know. And we all know.

We all kind of know. And, you know, this is. And people go like, well, I'm not a criminal. I got nothing to hide. yeah, but you don't understand the ramifications of this information. If somebody is in office and they want to start using keywords to locate people that they're going to have audited, like they just some woman was protesting ICE. And, you know, they've got this facial recognition software that lets them know your name, your address.

Is that Palantir? Is that what they're using? No, it's not Palantir. It's something like that. But this woman went to the airport. Her TSA was canceled. What? Yeah.

Yeah. What? Because she was a protester? Yep. That's it? Yep. Just protesting. Yep.

Really? No, they're taking your license plate. They're taking people's faces and they're running it through. They had one woman went from a protest to her house and there was a car parked out front with ice agents in it saying, we know where you live. What? Yeah. That's all she did was go to her protest? Yep.

That's it? I mean, I'm sure she interacted. She was probably yelling out. She wasn't a part of the organizers of the protest or anything like that because... Maybe she was an organizer. This is the weird thing is the organizer. The signal chats and everything, this is all being very coordinated and very funded. This is a very coordinated thing, like what they're doing, where they're doxing these ice agents and the whole thing is...

It's all very fucking weird. Yeah. The point about the Google stuff, though, is people that go, oh, I'm not doing anything illegal. you are giving them your data and that data is a commodity and they are getting insanely wealthy off of getting your data in an unscrupulous way. They're not telling you they're doing this thing and they're getting your data. And that data is making them insanely wealthy and then they use that wealth in a bunch of different ways to influence all sorts of things in the world.

And that's what's going on. But nobody ever thought that their data was going to be a commodity. Nobody ever gave a fuck about their email address or what they're interested in online. But it turns out that's fucking insanely valuable to advertisers. And that's, it's also like, you know they're listening. You know they're listening. They're listening to things. Yeah, they're listening.

And yeah, there's people now using chat CBT to do therapy. Have you heard about that? Yeah. Well, meanwhile, chat GBT might tell you to kill yourself. Not only that, but you're telling your inner most embarrassing things. You think that's not going to be used against you at some point? When you try to get health insurance and health insurance has now audited what you said to chat GBT and goes, well, you're a suicide risk or you're talking about trying to quit smoking. Now we know you're smoking.

Any details? Wasn't there an instance real recently where someone had uploaded top secret information to chat? GPD to a public a government official had up see if you find this government official uploaded to a public chat GPD not like some secure encrypted version that the government gets because they were trying to go over some data here it is US cyber defense chief accidentally uploaded secret government info to chat GPD so they grilled the acting chief on a mass layoffs and a failed polygraph Failed polygraph is hilarious.

So this guy, good luck saying his name, accidentally uploaded sensitive information to a public version of ChatGBTGBT last summer. Accidentally, according to four Department of Homeland Security officials with knowledge of the incident, try to say that guy's name. Gautamakula.

Is that it? Gada macula. Okay. Gada macula. He plays defense for the Rams. Uploads. He's like a fucking big Polish guy. Uploads.

of sensitive C-I-S-A contracting documents triggered multiple internal cyber security warnings designed to stop theft or unintentional disclosure of government material

from federal networks and this fucking guy's the director of cybersecurity and infrastructure security that's crazy Well what does it mean accidentally upload? Did it eavesdrop on him or did he

say something that caused chat GPT It seems like he uploaded the data Like, he was probably trying to parse out the data. He was just hired, too. Or just joined the agent. Oh, great. Oh, my God.

The information was not confidential but marked for official use only. A whole new world. I feel like Russia and China know everything. And we know everything about Russia and China. Right. And they're all ratting on each other. Palantier app ICE uses to find neighborhoods to raid. Yeah.

So it is Palantir, at least for that. The article he had was blocked by a paywall. I couldn't. Nuts. Joe Rogan experience? Can't afford to pay for it? Is this it? We're wrapping it up?

Let's wrap this bitch out. Now, can I name some dates? Fuck yeah. I will be at the Philadelphia, Helium, as I said, Valentine's Day weekend. Great fucking club. I'm going to be in Sacramento at the punchline next week, and then I'm going to be in Lexington, Kentucky, at Comedy Off Broadway. Great fucking club. And this is Greg Fitzsimmons.com.

Go to the link for standup dates, plenty of gigs. The podcast are Sunday Papers with Mike Gibbons, which, oh, by the way, thank you for the shout-out. You and Bert Kreisher gave me a little love bath yesterday. That was nice. So, yeah, he was talking about Sunday papers I've been doing with Mike for a long time. And then Fitzdog Radio that you've been on many times. Ye fucking ha. All right.

We're going to wrap it up. You're at the mothership this weekend. I'm very excited about that. You're going to come down? Fuck yeah. 100%. Yeah. All right, good. Goodbye.