The Joe Rogan Experience - #2458 - Matt McCusker

Episode Date: February 20, 2026

Matt McCusker is a comedian, writer, actor, and co-host of “Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast” with Shane Gillis. His most recent special, “Matt McCusker: A Humble Offering,” is streaming on Netflix.www.netflix.com/title/82014936www.mssecretpodcast.comwww.youtube.com/@mattmccusker9943https://mattmccusker.substack.comwww.mattmccusker.com Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joe Rogan podcast, checking out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. A lot of people have lights on their tables now to light up their face to make them look more pretty. Really? Yeah, they have like a slight, like an opening in the table, and then a light that gets on you so you don't see like the shadows in your face so you don't look shitty. Isn't that what you do with a scary story? You put a flashlight under your chin?

They're not trying to do that. They try to like balance it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like what you look like. Yeah, you got to give up after a while. The weirdest shit is men who use filters when they take pictures. That's insane. There's comedian men that use filters.

Really? Yes, it's very odd. How do you know? How do you tell you? Do you know what they really look like? True. Yeah, duh. And then you see them and they look like a cartoon. Like Netflix does that with the pictures that they use when they promote your special,

like the picture of you, they'll put that bitch through a filter. And you look so pretty If people see you after the show You're like, you look horrible I didn't know you looked so bad You look so old Thanks man I am so old

I'm almost 60 Dang I know it's crazy I'm 58 I'm 40, just turned 40 That's those are real numbers Yeah I know I age

As soon as I had kids I age like immediately You would have thought I literally gave birth Yeah well it's the lack of sleep Yeah that's what got me Yeah You know what's really good for that? Creatine. I've been taking it.

Yeah, creatine, they say 20 grams a day. Start like with 5 and work your way up to 20 and check to see how your butthole holds up because the seal might be loose. I've ran this experiment actually. 20 gets my guts going, man. Bro, it does. It does. I don't do 20 in a dose. I do 10 in the morning and 10 at night.

Because I was doing 20 in a dose and it was just like, everybody out of the pool. I'm also not convinced diarrhea is bad for you. I swear to God, like not shitting for sure, but diarrhea is just like, let's speed this up. Well, isn't that what, is that consumption? What is the disease where you can't stop having diarrhea? Dysentery. Dysentery, that's it. Yeah.

Shit. All right. Well, if you can't stop having it, sure. Well, that's like you can't digest food. It just goes right through you and just shit constantly. Yeah. That sucks, actually. That sucks.

Not good. Once a week, though, that's fine. You know what I used to do? I used to drink kale smoothies in the morning. that was the first thing that I would do. I would throw kale and garlic and like apples and shit in a blender and that's what I would drink

first thing in the morning. And boy, that is just like, that clears the pathway. That's like, you know when you clear your rain gutters of leaves? You get a hose on that bitch and he's fucking blow him off the top. That's what it's like.

Yeah, I've done the green drink before. It does get you. I was vegan for like a month. And that was like the biggest dumps, but I actually got hemorrhoids from being vegan. Oh, because on the toilet too much? It was just that the turds were so big. I was getting like blown out.

I got hemorrhoids from being vegan. Was it taking too long to poop or whether you just like, it was just spectacular. It was just spectacular. It was spectacular. There were massive bullwinders. It was like twice a day. I was like an adult entertainer. I was like my body just gave out that adult entertainer.

Well, when you think about it, it's all that fiber that your body doesn't process. But they say that that's what's good for keeping you clean, you know? Yeah. Fiber pushes everything out. I'm back on the fiber train now. I was all about protein now. I'm like, yeah, I need my fiber now. It's hard to know who's right because the carnivore people are like, you don't need fiber.

There's no need for fiber. But then there's like, there's evidence that fiber's good for you. Yeah. Isn't that what your whole microbiome needs to like make the germs or whatever that are good for your brain? I don't know. I get confused as well. But my balance is I eat a lot of kimchi. I really like kimchi.

That's a move. I eat that stuff all the time. Kimchi and I eat sourcrow. That stuff's legit. Yeah, I know that stuff supposed to be good for you. But yeah, I tried the carnivore and it was like, I first five days I felt cool. And then like after, I think I made it to 17 days, I was like, dude, if I just ate in some vegetables with this, I'd be the healthiest guy in the world. Because it was just like, I stopped pooping.

Like I was like, this can't be good for me. Well, you don't poop much because there's no five. So when you do poop, it's just boop. Yeah, I remember. It's all rabbit pellets. And you're like, where's the rest? But I mean, isn't that a good thing? Doesn't it mean your body absorbed all of the food instead of like having all this undigestible stuff go through your digestive tract?

This is the argument that the carnivore people. Yeah. I don't want anybody that's a nutritionist right now pulling their hair out. Disinformation! I'm just asking. It's a good, it's a solid question because it's like, yeah, does food, does meat get stuck in your body and you need plants to push it out of your butt or will meat come out of your butt just like plants will.

Well, that was the thing that they would always say, that every man when he dies was a pound of undigested meat in his stomach. Apparently, that's not true. Yeah, that was the old thing about John Wayne. Like, John Wayne had 50 pounds of beef jerky in his butthole. I've, like, thought about that since I was a little boy. I've been wondering, like, how much are they going to find him? Yeah, that's true.

So it's not the case. No, John Wayne just had a gut from probably beer. Yeah. You know, beer and pasta and bread. True. And, you know, normal American food. Also, he was, I mean, when was, what was his heyday? Like, 50s, 60s, or 60s, I guess, 60s 70s maybe?

When did he do that Genghis Khan movie? That's what killed him. What year was that? Yeah, because it's like, those dudes weren't on, like, nutrition. True grit. Yeah. Dude, they weren't being like, oh, how much fiber have I had? No, no.

Yeah, that was, even in, like, the 90s, the dude didn't think about what they're eating. 56? 56? Wow, that's one of the worst movies of all time. You ever see it? No, this Genghis Khan movie. How did it kill him? Oh, he filmed it in the same area where Nevada was doing their nuclear tests.

Everybody got cancer. Damn. Like the whole crew, like a giant number of people got cancer. Yeah, and I'm telling you, that was back when guys would be like, nuclear bomb. I don't care about it. Like, I used to work with guys that do asbestos back in the 90s when I was little. Me, my dad and my uncle's all day construction. So we were like taking this barn down.

And I was like a little boy just like hammering nails into an A-frame. And they shut it down because there was asbestos in there. And there's this guy who was like, dude, your uncle's a pussy. I'd eat that shit for breakfast. I don't care about asbestos. And it's like, I don't know. Now I grew up. I'm like, damn, thank God they shut that down.

Well, there were so many things that caused cancer that no one knew about at the time. Yeah. Like, how about baby powder? Yeah, dude. I didn't know about that either. Well, the thing is what I think what the story is that where they mine the talc, that the talc is not always pure, and the talc has other stuff mixed in it, and they don't filter that stuff out. Is it asbestos that it's mixed with? I thought that stuff was cornstarch. I'm not into

perplexity, please. I thought it was cornstarch. What? Baby powder. Baby powder? No. So it's talc. It's talc, I believe. Evidence is small, but real cancer risk with some talc-based baby powders mainly due to genital use and possible asbestos contamination. Yeah, that's it. But the data are mixed and the absolute risk for any one person is low. Tauk itself is a mineral can be mine near asbestos, so contamination is the main worry. Asbestos is a known cause of mesothelioma, mesothelioma, and other cancers. Yeah, quite a few women. I think there was a lawsuit.

I remember hearing that. I remember all was just made because that was like, I had a weird thing when I was younger. I used baby powder to masturbate. Yo. Because it just like makes everything feel so. So it was kind of nice. and if I smell baby powder to this day, it's like a trigger for, yeah.

If I smell it, I'm like, God damn, bro. That shit away from it. Well, I used to use it a lot to play pool. Oh, yeah. Yeah, everybody used baby powder. Use baby powder on your fingers. It makes the shaft slide through your fingers. But then they invented gloves.

And so that keeps the table clean. Yeah, yeah. This is like, I guess they're, I don't know what they're made out. It was like a nylon, like a very thin nylon. So it's not getting caught up. It makes it nice and slick. Yeah. Yeah, but baby powder, no, bueno.

What else? They're saying LED lights now. That's what I keep hearing. LED. They're saying it kills your mitochondria or something. Are these LED? Are these LED? Fuck, do we have to change our lights? Are we dying in here? I think they like crush your mitochondria. Oh geez. I don't know if I just get scared by AI clips on Instagram I'm scared of everything. I have to fucking stay offline. I know I I'm reading too much of the news and it's overwhelming me like sometimes at nighttime like I can't wind down. Yeah. It's like there's too much news. It's too much fucking madness. We're about to go to war with Iran I know Everyone's eating beef jerky and pizza like what are these that the fire? What the fuck is pizza? You know?

You know who how far does this go? How come this never got released before? Like what is happening? I mean My thing is like I'm not first of all the news for me is like with aside from all like the disastrous wars It's just so like negative when you read the news is mostly people being like guess who's a giant piece of shit Right you read that over and over and you get like addicted to being like yeah that guy sucks I'm Good. Well, there was an article that I read recently about people being addicted to outrage. Yeah. It's a real thing. Oh, for sure. Being addicted to being upset about stuff and addicted to out. You go search for it, which is why your algorithm shows you all that shit. Yeah. No, I mean, I don't know if this is true, but I feel like they watch your facial

expression through your phone camera and feed you stuff if you're making like interested or outraged or whatever. I wouldn't be shocked. I've heard they like track your eyeball movement and they're like, okay, this is holding his eyes and they just keep feeding you. Really? I've heard that she probably put a piece of tape over that bitch i know i know i wonder if you did how much would change that'd be an interesting experience well they got you mike too so they got your audio that's true but yeah the new dude that yeah all that epstein shit is like i can't follow it it's too much it's too many names i don't know state represented they're like naming all these people it's like damn i wish i knew who that was and it's dark too it's horrible and it goes so high there's so many

levels to it. You know, Sager and Yeti was just on Flagrant and they were reading off files and talking about the... And it's just like, what the fuck, man? Yeah, it's... You need to study all day to, like, follow it. Prince Andrews crazy. Him getting arrested. He's the first... What other prince has gotten

arrested? It must have been, like, not since 500 years ago. Yeah, one's the last time my prince was arrested. I have no idea. And also, he's... If he goes to jail, if he goes to real jail, he's getting clapped. He's a known, you know, it's very, very likely he was a pedophile. If pedophiles go to jail.

Well, what do they know that they're putting him in jail first or they're arresting him first? Like, what do they know? Because they did a bunch of things, right? The first thing they do is they stripped him of his princehood, right? Exactly. And then they banished him to some estate somewhere on the country. And then they removed him from the estate. They kicked him out of that state.

Yeah. So it's been like levels upon levels. So what do they know? I think the rural family gets to see the real deal. So they probably saw the real deal and were like, bro. you're fried. You're going to jail. And he'll be,

he might be the first, he might get like clapped in jail. Jesus. Someone might get royal. Royal asshole? Yeah, he might get royal fucking bussy.

Do you think, don't you think they have him in, did they have protective custody? For sure. He'll be in productive custody, for sure. Do they have that over there? They'll probably make a jail for him.

I would imagine they do. I think anything we have here, I would imagine they have protective custody. Because if you're even, if people even think you're a pedophile in jail, they're going to, do you think that starts like a whole cascade

and then a bunch of other people? People start getting arrested? No, I think they're going to hang him up and be like we got him. I don't believe that all these billionaires are going to let themselves get arrested. They have billions of dollars. Paris prosecutors opened two new Epstein-linked investigations. Uh-oh. With who?

I think it's the Jean-Luc guy. Who's that? Co-conspirator. He was also died in custody in jail. God damn it. So they've reopened the investigation on that. And somebody else, I think, that they just found out that was high up and lost it here. How did he die in jail?

I don't, officially? Yeah. There you go. He was found dead. Okay. So he just found dead. Oh, he died. How old was he?

Uh. Hmm. Dun, dun, don't, don't. Yeah. And also the... 76? Oh, that's a... That's about the time dudes like that die.

Yeah. But they didn't ever, there's a probe, and I think they'd reopen the probe also. Of how he died? Yeah. That's going to be a tough one to self. Yeah. You're going to have hit some roadblocks. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody whacked him.

We were just talking about the guy that Epstein was in jail with, which is crazy. Like if Epstein is alive, some people think he's alive. Some people think they scooted him out of his cell, switched a body double, killed that guy. But why would they put him in jail with that gigantic cop who was a contract killer? That fucking guy. That's one picture. Show me the picture of the tank top picture. That's the one.

Bro, look at the size of that guy. And this guy was a cop who was a dirty cop who was killing drug dealers. Yeah. I mean, maybe that was the plan. Be like, all right, we'll put him in here. It'll sound good if this guy kills him. Like, oh, man. And then 18 days before he died, he complained that he.

his cellmate tried to kill him. What? Yeah. See, we can find that. The different guy? No. Epstein did. No, I'm saying, was he complaining about the murderous cop or is this a different guy?

That's crazy, dude. That's crazy. Also, how did he try to kill him and not kill him? That's what I was just going to say. What's the fucking talking about? Epstein slipped away and just like sat in the corner. I mean, maybe he screamed loud enough and the guards came. Yeah, but they would separate them.

The night Jeffrey Epstein claimed his cellmate tried to kill him. So he laid in a fetal position on the floor of his gel cell. unresponsive with an orange fabric news. Oh, this is when they found him. 18 days before Epstein's death. He wasn't breathing. His eyes were opening. Oh, so this was when they found him.

Oh, so they did find, they found him in the fetal position? Oh, no, this was with the orange fabric news. That's when they found him dead. Okay. 18 days before Epstein. No. Okay. So it is saying that.

So it's saying that he had an orange news tied around his neck 18 days before he died. What? What the fuck? What? So July 23rd, 2019, 18 days for Epstein's death. He wasn't breathing, his eyes opening and shutting occasionally, but he wouldn't or couldn't respond to officers' questions and commands, according to a confidential corrections officer's memo obtained by CBS News. They hoisted inmate 76318054 onto a stretcher. Officials have repeatedly said Epstein's death, eventual death by suicide was.

foreshadowed by this earlier alleged attempt. Former Attorney General Bill Barr reiterated that claim in an August closed-door deposition before the House Oversight Committee, which released the interview transcript last week. Barr, who did not reply to questions from CBS News, said in his testimony, he knew about the July 23rd incident, which he viewed as an attempted suicide. Barr said he considered it indicative of Epstein's state of mind. But jail staff memos are there never... before reported documents obtained by CBS News as well as interviews with more than a dozen people

who interacted with Epstein before and after the incident reveal a murkier picture than the one depicted by bar. The new documents have surfaced amid persistent speculation over Epstein's death despite official conclusions that he died by suicide. So he's laying the floor and his bunky is screaming, I did nothing. I banged on my door to get him out of my cell, the source said. Corruption's officers carried Epstein to a cell on a different floor as he remained on. responsive. Was it the same cop, the contract killer cop? Yep, right? He told him he thought he'd been attacked by his cellmate, an ex-cop who was awaiting trial on four murders. But they're saying that was an attempted suicide? Well, they tried to frame it as an attempted suicide. No, I would

imagine he doesn't have a way to contact the outside world and just tweet about this. Yeah. Right? He can't make an Instagram video. Hey guys, this guy's trying to fucking kill me. He's true. He sat up on the bed and began telling me that he thinks his bunky tried to kill him, a responding officer wrote in one memo. A senior officer wrote in a separate incident report that Epstein initially implicated his cellmate in the incident, claiming he had previously said things that made Epstein feel threatened. So Nicholas Tartaglione, his cellmate, repeatedly disputed the initial allegation. I did nothing and said he tried to revive him. As with Epstein's eventual death, any camera.

footage of the incident was either mislaid, lost, or never captured by the facility's faulty system, rather. Tartaglione has not responded to emailed questions from CBS News. How odd. His lawyer said Epstein's initial claim that Tartaglione tried to kill him was flatly not true. Well, okay. So maybe he did try to, I mean, you know, there's a chance he did try to kill himself and was like, shit, I don't want to get sick. And then his guy saved him. He said he saved him. So it says it right here. Scroll back up a little bit.

Tartaglione said in a recent interview, the House and Epstein also left a suicide note, and it even offered Tartaglione money to kill him. What? Neither of those details, if true, are referenced in any of the Bureau of Prison Records that were reviewed by CBS News. So if you scroll up higher, it says he said he saved his life the first time. So it's saying that he saved his life.

He yelled when the guy, his attorney says this. Yeah, yeah. Like he's saying he tried to kill himself once. Yeah, but that's just his attorney saying that. Yeah, for sure. You know. Epstein claimed to both corrections officers and the source that he felt threatened by Tartaglione, hulking retired cop turned drug dealer who was charged and later convicted for four murders.

Just how could you take the most high-profile defendant ever and put him in a cage with a murderer? Check that part. His bunky told him that if he beat him up because of Epstein's child sex trafficking charges, the officers would not report it. Oh, that's what he told him. The wealthy, allegedly, the wealthy former financier told jail officers that he believed Tartaglion was trying to extort money from him and stated that if he didn't pay him that he was going to beat him up. The officer wrote, he stated that this has been going on for a week.

Then that guy saying Epstein was trying to pay me to kill him. for himself. You would have think they could find a middle ground, man. Well, someone's lying. That's the craziest. There's too many plot holes. There's no way. Imagine who's saying, I'll pay you to kill me.

Yeah. Also, it's like, wait, how are we going to do that? How are we going to work this all out? Yeah, the guy's already, well, that would, and then what's he going to do with the money? Exactly. How's he going to get the money? I guess you can give it if you know somebody, you know, he loves, you can give it to them. Right.

Does he have money or does all of his money go to the victim's families? Like, he killed four people. Shit, man, you might be right. Yeah. So it would have to be like an offshore account that like get slipped over to the prison so you could buy cigarettes? If anyone can do it. If anyone can do it, it's Jeffrey Epstein, man. But it would have to be worked out in advance.

Like you would have to have the cigarettes in the commissary. Yeah. Okay. Time to kill you. Dude, it's too, you know, I think it's just one of those things. And I don't know if people can, you know, want to wrap their heads around it. But there's just people who do things in this world on behalf of like, you know, Uber billionaires that we're just never going to know. what's going on. For sure. They do horrible, terrible, terrible secret stuff.

And they always have. Yeah. This is the thing if, like, you go throughout history, there's always been secret societies and people that get together with creepy meetings, all that eyes wide shut shit that Kubert put in his film. That's not imagining that. No. That's always been a thing.

The officer that discovered his body dead in August was originally charged with falsified documents related to his death, but those charges were dropped. Hmm. I wonder what the. falsifying of the documents was. I don't know. I don't know. Who knows? Maybe people charged it to try to open up the paperwork or whatever. Here it is. Because Epstein was on suicide watch after the July 23rd incident, Thomas was required to record a log of observations about Epstein in 15-minute increments.

Those notations were released by the Bureau of Prisons in 2023, along with just one entry he made in the log. A.m. 45 minutes after the incident. 15 minutes later, 15 minutes later, at 2.30, Thomas wrote, Inmate sitting on bed trying to remember what happened. Huh. Yeah, man. So this is when he got attacked the first time that he survived. Huh.

Once he got into the separate cell, he was trying to fall forward on his head or sat on the edge of the bed and began moving forward as if he was attempting to fall over head first. Huh. He was told to stop, don't do it again, and he gave a thumbs up. That style they confirmed.

He was trying to commit suicide. So he's going to try to commit suicide by falling straight on his head? That's impossible. That's literally impossible. You might be able to pull it off. That's crazy. You would block for sure. Right.

There's no way you can just do a sale. I was thinking about this the other day. I was walking off my steps. I was like, even if I tried, I couldn't do like a swan dive onto the cement. Your body wouldn't let you do it. Yeah, you would resist just enough to be paralyzed for the rest of your life. You would get fucked up for sure. I don't know.

I think you would just kind of flatten out and flail. Yeah, because guys would resist just. die all the time in street fights when they get knocked out and then they fall and they hit their head on the concrete. Dude, it did die all the time. It happened before I left Philly a year or so ago, there's a guy just walking his dog

off leash and this guy was like, put your dog on leash. They got into worry, you know, they started arguing and a guy punched him and he hit a sudden and died. And then my brother went on an online date with the fiancee of the guy who died and like learned throughout the date like, oh shit, you're a lady. He was married. It was pretty fucking sad, actually.

He like put it together and he's like, oh, fuck, he died. that sucks. How long after that was the date? I think it was maybe a year and a half. It's been some time, you know. Enough to stop the crime. Yeah, I mean, you gotta pick it up at one point. Especially if he died like that, man.

Got punched on a dog walk and died. I don't know. Dogglock with a helmet in telling you. If I was a lady, I'd be like, well, fuck, I dodged a bullet. Oh, God. Pousman could just died. Yeah, that's scary though, man. That's, yeah, the whole thing of like altercations and people popping off to each other

anymore. It's just like, I was walking down the street recently. And, you know, I had the right away. I walked. And I didn't even like rush in front of the car. The car pulled up and was like, get the fuck out. He's like threatened to shoot me in the face. I was just like, what the hell, man? Whoa. Yeah, it was like, he had pulled off far enough. He's like, I'll shoot you in your fucking face. And I was just like, please don't. Like, you know, the fuck, man. What are you doing? Bro, you never know who's unhinged. I know. You never know what's going on that life. Divorce, fucking this, that, just got fired, about to go to jail. Who knows?

Yeah. Who knows? Dude, yeah. Best friend was fucking your wife. Could be literally anything. Yeah. Anything. Yeah.

I never. It's like, yeah, whatever, man. So many people are barely hanging on out there. Doing something all day they hate. Yeah. Just fucking tired. Life's in a shambles. Dude, I don't, and especially like, people just talk shit to strangers.

Like, you have no idea who that person is. I don't know, you know, who knows if this is like just like an old construction worker tale. My dad was telling me some guy he knows his, mom or whatever, or like, you know, his friend's mom was at the grocery store. Someone back, they were, like, both going for a parking spot. It was like an old lady, and the guy was like, fucking bitch, get the hell out, blah, blah, blah, started cursing her out.

Her son came out of jail for like, you know, like, he was like a biker or all this stuff. And they all, like, knew each other in the neighborhood. Apparently the guy who had, like cursed out the mom, they were like, nobody ever saw him again. So if that's true, it's like, gee, I always think about that. I'm like, dude, that's, you know, you just can't be, you shouldn't yell at an old lady anyway, but you just have no idea who you're dealing with. Right. Just might as well chill.

That was one of the creepier things about the Epstein emails or the files, the data, was that he ordered 330 gallons of sulfuric acid after he'd been indicted. What does that do? Dissolves bodies. Oh, no. Yeah. So they were trying to speculate that, like, maybe that was for his desalination system that he had. He had, like, a water system.

Some sulfuric acid cleans it out. But then Jamie looked into it. He had only ordered it like once before ever, but never that much. Yeah, that's terrible. Also, he lives near the ocean. It's like, why don't you just go in the ocean? You just get rid of bodies. You live on an island.

You just go out to water. Yeah, but they could find it. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, they might find it. Yeah. You can't have that. True. I especially have enough that we need a bunch of acid.

Did they have a lot of sharks down there? I would think. Yeah. Like the Bahamas, right? It's like Bahamas area? Yeah, I would think. There's like sharks in Florida. I was just in Florida.

Florida's a lot of sharks, especially bull sharks. Yeah, exactly. I was swimming and I brought my friend with me to do shows, and he was like, I'm worried about sharks. I'm there's not a fucking sharks out here. We got back and the Uber driver was like, yeah, this is like, shark season right now. I was like, oh, my bad.

Shark season? Yeah, I think it's the bull sharks. They see them all the time down. Bull sharks are scary. They're the ones that they think are responsible for the murders in New Jersey that inspired Jaws. Really? Yeah.

How big do they get? They don't get as big as like great whites, but the thing about them is they could swim in fresh water. So those murders that murders, those deaths by shark in New Jersey in like the early 1900s, they were in a river. What? Yeah. So these people were swimming in a river and they got killed by sharks. Yeah, you never expected either. Bull sharks are like very aggressive too.

Are they really? Super aggressive. There's the Florida Keys, like guys fish off the pier. down there and it's really great fishing but if you catch a big fish and you're struggling to get it on the line most likely a shark's going to kill it really yeah most likely you're going to get it bitten in half there's like tons of videos of guys pulling in fish and the shark just snaps it in half while they're pulling it in that's terrifying they're all over the place down there dude I went to Turks and Kegos my me and my family went down there my kids we were we went

snorkeling and we know the guy takes us out and he's like hey we like you know got in the area where we're going to jump in, he's like, hey, there's some baby sharks out there, you know, but they're not going to bother you. So I'm like, what the fuck? What the fuck? Exactly. And I have like, I've had fucking like two and a four-year-old with me. So I jump in.

I'm like, let me suss it out. I'm going to go see. Dude, I go down and like, these were like, you know, they weren't like 18-foot sharks, but they were like five, six, they were like big enough, but they were 40, it was like probably 40 feet deep. And then they were like at the bottom, but then another 50 feet away. And I was like, bro, I'm not bringing my kids in here. Yeah.

I'm trying to find this video that my friend Adam sent me of sharks in Florida. Because I always give him shit. He lives in Australia. And I always give him shit. Like, bro, you live in a place filled with monsters. What the fuck are you doing? It's like, it's true. Florida has a lot, but Australia has more.

Australia has saltwater crocodiles. They have great whites. But he sent me this video. It's like, this is in America, mate. And these guys are throwing. God, I can't find it. These guys are throwing fish into the water right now. I'm not going to find it.

They're throwing fish into the water right next to the shore. And it's just sharks, like piranhas, just smashing it. And they're like off a dock. Dude. They're just like throwing fish scraps in there. And the sharks are apparently used to it, I guess. That's terrifying. Yeah.

Dude, I... Oh, here it is. I found it is. I found it. Nice. Yeah, hold on. I'll send it to you, Jamie. Dude, dolphins.

Did you ever see a dolphin in real life? Yes. They're scary as hell. Those things are huge. I swam with them. I did it too. I was in Mexico and I thought I was going to be like, you know, gliding on two of them. I was like barely wanting to touch this thing.

I did it in Hawaii and you jump off the boat and you have a snorkel. Yeah. You get to see them swimming under you. It's really wild. Check this out. So this guys throws these scraps in the water. Look at these sharks. God damn.

How crazy. Look at these things fight for this. Look how many of them there are. Yeah, that's. Well, that's crazy. That, look how big they are. Yeah. more than big enough to take your legs off.

Go ahead, Dick Wagon. Throw it in. Go ahead, Dick Wagon. Why? I'd be so mad if I was his neighbor. I'm like, dude, I'm trying to paddleboard, man. Well, I think this is just what they do every day, which is why the sharks are there in the first place. I think when these guys get there, you know,

when they filet the fish, they have the bodies. They just tuck the body overboard, and these sharks just destroy it. Yeah. How spooky is that? It's terrifying, dude. Yeah. That's Florida. That's crazy.

Florida's Marco Island. I don't know. Where's that? Where's Marco Willen? It's probably the key. Probably. That's fucking, that's awful. Florida's filled with monsters. Like, that whole thing that they're doing with ice where they've got that alligator guantanamo. You know, they got a, they built a Guantanamo for detainees, and then they surrounded it with alligator country. Like a cartoon moat?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I'm crazy. Check this out. Okay, so where is it? It's like opposite of Miami on the... Oh, okay. Okay, so it's not the keys. It's just Florida. Crazy.

Damn, so they have a good classical moat with alligators around it? Well, it's not essentially a moat. Was it an island, I guess? How did they do it? Did they build an island down there? Is that what they did? Somebody got a sweet contract to put that in there. Alligator Allerberton.

Yeah, they call it Alligator Alcatraz. What does it look like? Can you show us? Damn, dude. Alligators in Florida everywhere. They say there's not a standing body of water that doesn't have an alligator. I know. My friends were just at Disney World and they said they got a they're like is there all the air agitators around here like yeah we flush them out all the time one killed a kid a few years

I heard about that yeah reached up and just snagged bro imagine you a little toddler at Disneyland just saw Cinderella having a good time that's got to be fast pass that's fast pass for life though though here it is family so that is all the Everglades and the Everglades is just filled like if you go walking like I'm out of here fuck that like something's probably gonna get you No the Everglades are so fucked because it's not just the alligators it's also the pythons there's giant python fawkes so ruthless that's fucking all the ice that's on

dude the pythons are another because you they catch you all you're sleeping so you lay down to sleep and you just wake up and you're just are there more pythons in the Everglades than there are anywhere in the world because there's a half a million of them they think you would have did you ever hear about Snake Island in Brazil no dude there's an island in Brazil that I guess like whatever, you know, tectonic plates, whatever moved. It used to be connected to the mainland and went out and all the snakes just got stuck on there with no natural predators. So what did they do?

They just eat each other? Yeah, they just fight and eat each other. And there's, dude, there's apparently a snake, like every meter you move. There's at least one snake. What? Dude, the images are, fuck, are terrified. They're like just piled on top of each other. There are not more pythons in the Everglades than anywhere else.

The Burmese pythons native range in Southeast Asia from India and Indonesia supports far larger. wild populations, though exact numbers are hard to quantify due to their vast habitat. Everglades context, Burmese pythons or invasive species, Florida Evergrades with estimates ranging from tens of thousands to 300,000 individuals across Southern Florida, concentrated in Everglades National Park where their density is notably high. Population exploded from a few snakes in the 90s to enveloping much of the region by the 2020s, driven by release from pet trade and events like Hurricane Andrew. Yeah, they had Hurricane Andrew apparently blew down a facility where they were studying pythons. No, and that's how they got out. A bunch of them got out. And then there's also people

with pets, just assholes and death metal bands. Yeah, they just dropped them. Yeah, they just dropped them. There's, um, what do you call it? Parakeets here. They're like, they're an invasive species. They think that happened too. Someone just like let their parakeets out. Now they're a problem there. That's iguanas in Florida too. Yeah. You know, they sell canned iguana meat in Florida now. Really? Yeah, buddy mine lives in Florida. He just sent me this. He sent me He was at the supermarket And they have

Iguana meat Probably not bad Dude I'm telling you The Snake Island I was like I thought it was fake My wife was telling me about it I'm like dude you got tricked

This has to be AI I looked it up And it's like It's a real thing Let me see that iguana meat Yeah I'm saying It would probably be good I've eaten Gator before

Gator's not bad This might be fake I think it is There's a God damn it I'm Googling in There's a pizza restaurant That got in trouble

For serving it Really But nothing else is popping up about can be. They got in trouble for serving it. Did they tell people they were serving it? You know, because people eat them. They hunt them and eat them all the time. I was watching a YouTube video the other day

where this guy was making like stir-fried iguana meat. Well, they get massive. They get massive. Yeah, yeah, and they apparently taste good. Probably. They're aggressive too. If you see them in the wild, they'll, like, charge after you. They're nasty, man.

They're big. Yeah, they're pretty... Some of them get like four or five feet long. Yeah, they're huge. Which is nuts. That was another animal I encountered in Turks and. We did the shark swimming and I was like, all right, I let them get out of the way. And then we went to this island.

It was just full of iguanas and they'll just run up on you. Do you know in Florida when it gets really cold, they just fall out of trees? No, that's hilarious. Because sometimes Florida, it'll dip. It'll get into the 30s. And these fuckers just fall out of the trees. They're stoned. They just freeze and just drop.

And then they thaw out and come back to life. What? Yeah. Fuck. It's an ancient species. Like these are ancient creatures. Damn. So I thought they need the like,

They're cold-blooded and they die. So I guess they can just chill. Well, so are alligators. And alligators freeze in lakes sometimes with their mouths above the water. They have their nose and their eyes above the water. And they just, they're frozen. There's a bunch of images of these guys. Frozen in lakes.

I guess everything just slows down and they just chill. They don't have to eat for a year. What? Yeah, they can go without eating for a whole year. So how much you think we really have to eat? If all the bears don't have to eat all winter, alligators can go one year. Like do you think we always think like are do we have to eat every day? Well we definitely more than any people have ever have

Except like royals yeah you know that's why people were so tiny like you go back to like the civil war the average man was like a hundred thirty pounds Yeah that makes sense yeah because nobody had any food You know nobody had any protein yeah but if you Think about like how much we eat morning noon and then evening Hunter gatherers they they got a meal a day yeah you know Like if you got lucky, you had a meal and you ate as much as you could because there's no way to preserve it. And then you went out the next day and hoped you got another animal. Yeah, that's kind of wild.

You must have spent like 6,000 calories a day just trying to get one meal. Yeah. And then other than like drying your meat out, there's no way to preserve it. So they would make jerky or, you know, like I know in Mexico, some friends of mine went down there and they have this traditional way of taking buffalo and they slice it like really, really thin. and then they hang it on like a clothes hanger and dry it out. Really?

That's all we need to do. Well, that's what they had to do. They had to figure out how to dry stuff because, you know, there's no refra- How fucking hard life must have been with no refrigeration. Dude, it would suck so bad. Suck so bad, man.

I mean, that's like when you go back to the turn of the century, all the diseases were happening in America, just think about it. No running water. Everybody's like shitting in holes in the ground outside the houses. There's no ventilation.

There's no air conditioning. Oh, yeah, you're good. No vitamins. Especially here. Yeah. How do people live in Texas? Hard people, though. It must have been crazy.

Hard people. Yeah. Hard fucking people. I've been reading Western. I'm reading a Lonesome Dove right now. It's like an old classic Western. And they just talk about how hot they are all day long. It's just dust in their face.

And it's like, dude, that shit would suck. Especially if you don't live near a lake. So you can cool off a little bit. Oh, no. There's like, yeah. They have like a spring house. And every time they got to get water, There's just rattlesnakes everywhere near the spring house.

It's like, dude, that sucks so bad. This is a great book about Texas called Empire of the Summer Moon. Oh, I've heard of that before. About the settlers encountering the Comanche. You've got to think, like, if the Comanchee, if this is where they lived and they lived here year round, like they had to be the hardest fucking people in the world. Yeah, dude, that would be brutal. Just had to be fucking just tough as fuck.

Especially when it gets like freezing, too. I have like that two weeks where it's super cold. Yeah, that would be. Yep. You never know when it's coming back then either. You couldn't prepare. Like, Texas, like, right now it's 80. Two weeks ago, it was 30. Before that it was 20. Before that it was 70. Like, you don't know when it's coming. No. You have, I've been here for two years and I know we're going to get like a solid collective week of real winter. And the rest of it's just like 50, 60, 70, 80, 20, 40. Yeah. It's kind of like. It's worth it. I think it's perfect because it gives you just enough cold so you appreciate the warm, just enough. But nothing like.

Where you want to kill yourself. Yeah, I agree. Nothing like, there's, you know, Montana winters and Wyoming winters where they last like seven months. You're like, I don't know if I want to do this. Even regular East Coast winter, I couldn't handle it. By the time I had left, like, you don't feel the sun for like at least three months. And I remember spring it would finally like come out. And it's like, that messes me up.

Like I need, I'd rather it be super hot and sunny than be cold. Yeah. Because you can just like, you know, just figure out jump in a lake, jump in a pool. You can cool. You know, that's what flu season's all about, too. What? It's not like the flu emerges in the winter. It's just everybody's immune system's low.

No one has any vitamin D. The buddy, mine was a doctor, said that he would do tests on people in New York City, and he said so many people would come into his practice that had undetectable levels of vitamin D. What? Yeah, because they weren't supplementing at all,

and they were wearing winter clothes, and they were never outside, and everybody's sick, and they don't know why. Well, you're vitamin D depleted. Yeah. That's why in Seattle, they have a lot of people go in tanning beds, and shit. They try to like do something.

Oh, just to get people. Because tanning beds will give you a natural dose of vitamin D. That's kind of nice. Yeah. Apparently, isn't it like a hormone more than a vitamin? Mm-hmm. So, yeah, that's what I heard. It's like not even just like, you know, vitamin A or B or B.

It's like something you absolutely need big time. Yeah, a lot of people are saying you should hyperdose it too. Like, because the USDA recommended is like 5,000 milligrams. A lot of people are saying like 30,000 is what they take every day. Yeah, I had to do that for a while. because I had low vitamin D and they were like, you can take as much of this as you want. I'm like, so, I'm like such a baby with medicine. Like I'm like super sensitive to it.

It did like absolutely no side effects at all. No, it doesn't. But for full absorption, I think you're supposed to take it with a bunch of other stuff. Like I think the recommended is I take it with K2, vitamin K2 and magnesium. I think there might be one other thing that also helps absorption. But like Dr. Rhonda Patrick was on a podcast recently and she was talking about how. vitamin D. Someone was taking vitamin D, but they weren't showing any improvement.

She's like, where you're taking it with magnesium. So magnesium apparently helps vitamin D get absorbed in your body. Like, there's a bunch of those things that, like, works. Like, if you take them without any fat or any food, they're not good. But then, like, amino acids, you have to take them on an empty stomach. It's like, you've got to know what you're doing.

That's true. Yeah, I have like a paste. It's like a goop that's like fatty. And I just put it on a spoon and take it. What is it? Just vitamin D? Yeah, it's vitamin D. It's like a liposomal thing. Oh, you put it on a spoon. Yeah, I just eyeball it. I'm like, that's probably about right. I wonder if, like, liposomal absorbs easier?

Mm-hmm. Isn't that the whole idea about it? Yeah. It's paired to a fat and it kind of, you know. Right. I wonder if that you don't need as much, like, where you don't need vitamin D or K2 rather. Well, I don't know, but I was low and then I'm not now, so I'm like, maybe it worked. Maybe it's the fact that's outside. I don't know.

I'm sure it works. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like, does it work optimally? That's the thing. Yeah. It's like just taking it alone, definitely. going to be better than not taking it at all, but they think that for maximum absorption.

What are the things that you should take with vitamin D for, put that in perfectly? The things you take with vitamin D for maximum absorption, it's hard to remember all this stuff, too. That's part of the problem. Like, I'll hear it on a podcast. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Go back. What did the fuck did Andrew Huberman say?

I know. You know, I remember, I heard, he even had this thing about cortisol, and he's like, you need to spike your cortisol early in the morning, which I, you know, if I get up in exercise in the morning, like, yeah, that seems true because I feel good. But then I was like, I can't have caffeine anymore. I had to get off completely. Really? Dude, I have, I can't have it. I'm, like, super sensitive to it. If I had a cup of coffee, what times is it right now?

If I had a cup of coffee now at 2 o'clock, I would not sleep until midnight. Is that because you don't drink much of it? I don't metabolize it. Oh, interesting. My mom, my dad can drink coffee and fall asleep, but if my mom has coffee, she's, it just, like, you have it. And I can feel it just in my body for hours. And it's just like a nonstop core, like I love caffeine, the mental effects. My body just can't stand it.

Have you ever tried, um, neutropics? Like, thionine, or theanine? Acetylcholine. Not acetylcholine, but I've taken altheonine with it, which helped a little bit, but then I'll just drink more coffee. No, I don't mean with coffee. I mean, by itself as like a little bit of a pick-me-up. Oh, yeah. No, I like, yeah, I take L-thianian before I go to sleep.

I think it kind of helps me sleep. Yeah, I hear that too, which is interesting because it helps with your memory. Like, how does it help with your memory and also help you go to sleep? I don't know. Here it says, vitamin D is a fat soluble nutrient, so pairing it with dietary fat, maximizes its absorption in the gut. Take vitamin D supplements with a meal containing fats for optimal uptake studies show you can boost serum levels by about 50%.

Foods like fatty fish, avocados, olive oil, nuts, seeds, or full-fat yogurt, provide these. fats effectively supportive nutrients, magnesium, aids in converting vitamin D to its active form and transporting it in the body. Vitamin K2 works synergistically to direct calcium to bones, enhancing benefits for bone health. Omega-3 fatty acids from fish oil also improve absorption alongside fats. All right, so that's it. So vitamin D should take with magnesium and K2 and probably some fish oil. Nice.

There you go. That was eating after breakfast, though. There we go. Yeah. I was getting my fats. Yeah. But yeah, the caffeine for me, I can't like, You know, everyone's different, but I can't have it.

Like, I had it. I could drink two double espressoes and go to sleep. That's crazy. So here's my thing, too. I stopped was I didn't start really drinking caffeine all the time until I had kids. But I like, I don't have dreams at night. If I drink even coffee during like the day, no dreams at night. Really?

I don't know what it is, man. I'm super, super sensitive to it. Well, a lot of people that stop smoking weed say that they get wild crazy dreams. That happens too. That kind of blocks your dreams too. Yeah. But even that, like, I don't know. I smoked weed forever.

I would still kind of have dreams, but the caffeine just, like, completely neutralizes them. And then they say that, it's like anecdotal, but they say that caffeine, there's anecdotal evidence that it kind of, what is it, like discourages or, you know, whatever it does your brain. You don't do as much divergent thinking. It's more like convergent where like if you need to get like a task, like, all right, I need to edit something. Caffeine's great. If you're like, I need to come up with a story idea. There's like anecdotal evidence that says, like, people who are on caffeine report that it like messes up their ability to like. Just kind of like, you know, come up with like new or novel ideas.

That makes sense. Yeah. Because you're just hyper-focused on the one thing that you're doing. Yeah. Like a low-dose meth. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. You're like, my friends that have dated girls that have had problems with amphetamines,

one of the things they say is they know when they're on it because then they start cleaning the house. They start cleaning everything. Yeah. They start getting like hyper-focused on like organizing and cleaning. Like, that sounds like a good drug. Yeah. What's the back?

It's probably a spaz, though. That's probably the backlash. Well, it's probably they're doing it for 12 hours while they're listening to Slayer. Yeah. Fuck, dude. You're not even talking about Adderall. This is them doing like crystal meth or saying? I don't know.

He was saying emphetamines. I assume it's like meth. Yeah, an amphetamine babe would be not ideal, I don't think. Well, I've talked to people that have done meth. They tell you feel like you're fucking Superman, but you also like want to get things done. Really? Yeah. I've heard that similar thing about crap.

where you feel like a genius. You smoke crack, apparently, you're just like, dude, like, why would I have a refrigerator? I can sell it right now, and I can just order out to, and, like, apparently you're just, like, the smartest person in your head in the world. Right. And then you just, like, it all crashes every 30 minutes. Well, it's, like, free-based cocaine is what all it is. Yeah.

Like, what Richard Pryor was doing back in the day, that was just before crack. Yeah. It was free-based and cocaine. Yeah, and it's weird, too, because I think it just, like, Coke, I think, just floods your brain. A lot of things just flood your brain with dopamine. Yeah, but the delivery method, apparently, of crack is superior. Really? There's something about smoking it where it just goes right to your head.

Well, I know this from Hunter Biden. Because Hunter Biden was on that Channel 5 show when he was talking about it. He was so descriptive of it. It almost made you want to try crack. It was almost like it was like a romantic tale of like a bad romance that he had to get out of. It is a very gentlemanly way to sense. It's superior delivery mechanism. Well, he's very smart, right?

So he's very articulate. He's talking about, like, what it was like to smoke crack. Yeah. And it's like, holy shit, man. And I wonder, I guess he's off of it because I guess like, you know. Yeah. If you've started again, it's probably just another. Well, there was that bag he they found at the White House, but first of all, it might have been his.

But also, you think he's the only one of those people doing Coke? Yeah, I was about to say that could be anybody. Listen, there's probably a lot of those folks that need a little pick-me-up sometimes for a meeting. before they have to do a press thing or you're working 16 hours a day little talk who big time let's go I used to work at a real estate company when I was in college just like you know they were like buy apartment buildings and dude all the like the senior management were like they used to buy adderall off me they would just chomp fucking adderall come in just be like they would do sales meetings and just be like here a friend of mine is a journalist says

that all these journalists are on adorall yeah believe it says it makes you productive yeah they're all doing it Some of them are like super open about it. Like Dave Portnoy, when he was in here, he was telling us. Would he say he took 30 milligrams? It was enough that I was like, yo, and then I had to go to Jamie. How much is that? And Jamie was like, a lot.

30s, yeah, 30s, that would get you. But not a lot if you do it a lot, right? Yeah, you get a... It's the thing. It's like if you're doing edibles with Joey Diaz. Like, how much should I take? Take two, Cocksucker. Like, what?

Take two. How much do you take? Yeah, that would definitely... I mean, I feel like I can't get a tolerance. to eat edibles. They just knock me out every time. Jamie can just eat them and they don't do anything to them. That's crazy. I know people like that too. They're like, well, I need like 200 milligrams

to feel it. I'm like, I'm psychotic. At 200 milligrams, I'm fried. It's a lot. Yeah, 200 is a lot. I used to have these lollipops that were 200 milligrams so I would try to gauge it. Like, I don't want to eat too much of it. And it would just, I would get fucking whacked all the time. So we went over

how many people are on Adderall once, like the number of Adderall prescriptions in a year. It was something bonkers. It was like 39 million Adderall prescriptions in this country. But then you have to go like, how many people is that? Right?

Because like you refill your prescriptions. So how often you refill it? How many times a year? You know what I mean? I think it's more than 39. If that's the case, I feel like there's 39 million subscribers to Adderall. Well, there's definitely people

that are getting it other ways. For sure. For sure. Yeah. You get your script and you sell it. But it's like, So there were 39... Not just that.

You're getting it illegally. Yeah. You're getting illegal good and bad. You're getting cartel stuff. Like pressed and stuff? Yeah. Like they can make a volume that looks just like a volume. Yeah.

There's fucking fentanyl in it. Yeah, true. No, that's a... Like the pill world is they're like completely riddled with that right now. Oh, it's scary, man. Because kids are taking these... Like, there was a kid from a local high school around here that I read a story. He took an Adderall.

He thought it was an Adderall. and it had fentanyl in it. He died. He got it from one of his friends. He was just trying to cram for studies. Yeah, that's why I always tell people, anyone I know who does coke, I'm always like, you've got to stop, man. They're like, no, we'll test it.

It's like, no, you're not. You're going to be at a bar. You're going to be hammered. You're going to buy a Coke and shove it up your nose. I'm going to stop and be like, let me see. I've never done it, but all my friends have done it have also the same thing. Don't do it. I've never done it either.

I've never had any interest, but it's like I, every time I'm around. people on it, I'm just like, dude, this sucks. Yeah. Maybe they're having fun, but it's like... They don't want to sell you Bitcoin. They want to go into business now. Everybody does. They get like super hyped about a project.

They want to bring you in. Well, that's what I think. I guess that's the way it's explaining to me. You just feel like you've accomplished something major. So you just like snore coke and you're like, I am the best ever. It's like, why he's, I don't know. I just... Yeah.

Joey Diaz used to say that you can't go on stage with that. Yeah, I can see that. It's the worst. He goes, you have no feeling. You don't feel for the crowd. Yeah. That's how I feel. I can't drink and go on stage because I'll just, I'm way too confident.

If something doesn't land, I'm like, fucking whatever, pussy. Like, I just don't care and I just do so bad. Yeah. Yeah, it's a weird fine dance that people do with substances and performing, especially if you're doing like a speed or something. Yeah. You can get it wrong. I would imagine.

Yeah, you can get your balance wrong. I've heard Adderall does not mix with comedy. At all. That's what I've heard too. I've heard the people like it's you're just, it's like a weird part of your brain where you're just too lasered in. I've heard people like to use it for writing, though, which I think is weird. I guess. Yeah, I don't know.

I know they use it for writing books. Yeah. I don't know if it would be the same for writing comedy. Because, you know, you're talking about like coming up with ideas. Like you'd imagine that would be the coffee thing on steroids. Yeah. Right? For me, for writing, like I like to write.

I like to write books. I like to do other stuff. Writing stand up is more like it has to just pop into my head. then I go like, oh, that would be funny. And then I, you know, if I start fleshing out, like, new ideas come. But I've tried to, like, write stand up and it never, like, very rarely do I get anything that, like, works when I do that. Yeah, me too. But what I do is I write essays.

I just, like essays on a subject. And then from that, I'll extract little things. That's a good idea. And then I take that little thing and I say, how do I introduce this thing? And what would be funny about this thing and how would I lead into this? And what are the other, like, surrounding things that would go with this? No, that's a good way to do it. I have to trick myself into being like I'm memorizing my material, so I just bullet point it,

and then I get bored and my mind wanders. I'm like, that would actually be pretty funny. Right, and then you start rambling. Yeah, that's the thing about the essay, that if you just sit down and write a subject, you know, about a subject, whatever that subject is, that you just start thinking about all the different aspects of that subject, instead of thinking how to write in comedy form. Yeah. You know, that's a smart idea, because, yeah, if I try to write it, then like you try to repeat it,

but you wrote it down so it sounds like a written thing and it's like but even that in the essay way it's a brutal process because then you have to take that one sentence or that one paragraph in a thousand words and then figure out a way to introduce that where it's not clunky yeah and then figure out what's the funniest part about it and it's like you have to always know that the first time you bring it out there it's going to suck yeah and you have to just slowly but surely trust it to get better and just throw it into the fire every night. Yeah. You know, you have your bits that you know are going to kill, and you're like, I don't

want to trot that one out here. I know. That is the, it kind of is the funnest part, though, to me. Like, when I moved here, I had just, I think, yeah, I think I had just put out an hour or, like, recorded. So I had no, I had to, like, start with, like, new material, which sucks. You move somewhere. You have new stuff.

You're like, dude, I have only new shit. It's a bad feeling, but it's, like, it's exciting because you're, like, you don't know of how it's going to go every night. I don't know. I like, I like that. I think it's good. I think it's like we were talking the other day about loss, about failure. Like, I was talking with Michael Malice about bombing on stage. I think bombing is good because what happens if you bomb that feeling, you feel terrible the next day, you feel terrible that night. And then you're like, I got to fucking get back on stage and really like tighten up my shit. And I always have in the past made big leaps after I bombed. I'm like, I think, I think. I'm like, I think. I

think it's important. Like failure is important. It sucks. You don't like it, but you got to go through that. Like maybe you got overconfident or maybe you were in a bad mood or maybe it was like whatever. Yeah. No, it helps. That's what like motivates me to write stand-up. If I bomb, I'm like, all right, now let me like dial it in because I have like, I'm always doing a bunch of stuff and like, I'm like, oh, I got a show and I like, you know, organized kind of against the gun. But yeah, a good, a bomb really is like a clarifying. It's good for you, honestly. Yes. It is.

Well, I used to say that to fighters, too. You lose a fight. It's good, as long as you get really hurt. It's good because you like that feeling, go home with that feeling. And think about all the stones that you left unturned, all the times where you skip roadwork, all the times you skip strength and conditioning, all the times you're half-assing it in the gym. That guy didn't do that. He just beat you. Now you know.

Yeah. You know, like you have to understand that there's levels to these levels to dedication. There's levels to competition. to competency and, you know, a good loss is good for you. Yeah, it kind of, like, you know, again, if you have your tried and true and you're just going on stage, you're, oh, it's working night after night, you just go home and like, yeah, when you bomb it, like, for me, it does something in my brain where I, my thoughts start flying, you know, whatever that is just helps me get stuff out there.

Well, when I lived in Boston, one of the things that was a real problem was there were these local headliners that had these fucking acts, man. They had 45 minutes of like hammered samurai sword. It was so good because they had been doing that 45 minutes for a decade and a half. It's crazy, dude. It was so good. Their timing was so good. The pacing was so good.

They would crush every night. But after a while, they never added anything new to it. And these guys just like a buddy mine went to see a Boston headliner that we knew from like Fitzsimmons. I went to see a Boston headline that we knew from the 80s, and he goes, dude, he was doing the same material. He goes, it was so sad. He goes, he was just phoning it in. It was barely getting a response from the audience. It was like dated references.

Because this guy just had an act and like a fucking guy who shows up at the office. He would open up a suitcase, pull his act out. That was his act. Those guys are always fascinating because when you're like, you know, I started in Philly. And like, so like the only, the first like paid gigs you get as a. Open Micer are like, you do like moose lodges and shit for like 50 bucks. And it's always one of those like wacko headliners. He's been around for 30 years.

He's doing it forever. He's giving you the career talk in between the show. There's like, I would get like comedy magicians all the time. Oh, yeah. And dude, it was like, yeah, those guys would always kind of freak me out. Like, I would open for guys that would talk about like floppy disks and like the 2000s and I'm done pro. What are you doing, man?

Like, we don't have CDs anymore. Like, you know, you're, this guy talked about porn on a floppy disc. On stage? Dude, it was fucking Screech. R-I-P. It was Screech. R-I-P. I opened for Screech back in the day, and I was like,

fuck, yes, this is going to be awesome. He was- He was killing it in the comedy clubs. He was, like, one of the first people to go from being on a sitcom to touring on the road. Yeah, I call it late Screech, though. Skippy. Remember Skippy from Family Matters? No. What was it from?

What was the show? Skippy. He was another guy who was, he was on a sitcom. Was he on not step by step I don't remember But if I remember Same thing He was the same thing

He was like Hollywood didn't work out for him And family ties Family ties With Michael J. Fox Yeah Yeah So that guy was

Headlining comedy clubs Yeah All over the place This was like a bar in Delaware This was not a glamorous gig Whoa It was bad This was

I was I was what I graduated College in 2009 It would have been like 2012 maybe. So this was like late, this was like late Screech.

And the whole time he's on stage, people go, Screech! And he would just, it fucking made him so mad. But I remember it was, it's a funny show, because it was supposed to be a lady

was supposed to host. I was going to feature, it was going to be Screech as a headliner. And the guy who owned the venue just bad, like, one of the fuck this lady's so bad that he was like, hey, I'm letting that lady feature,

you're going to host. And he was like, I'll pay you the same price. And I was like, yeah, whatever, I don't give a shit. So he paid me.

And I had been, doing stand-up for a couple years, so I was like kind of sharp, you know, especially for like that bar show. And this lady, I didn't, he, she had never done stand-up before. This was her first time. This guy fucked her over. He thought he was doing something nice for her. She sat there for all of the 20 minutes and read out of a giant notebook and just fucking, like completely horrific, like a first time stand-up doing 20 minutes, completely bombed. And I mean, Screech was in the back with me and he's like, how fuck is this? I remember he was like bragging being like, dude, they gave me $8,000.

I don't give a fuck about the show. I knew a few guys who their girlfriend started doing comedy, and then their girlfriend started opening for them. And it was just wild. For her sake, you can't do that. No. It's such a bad idea. It's so crazy.

And these guys were like competent headliners. So the people were coming to see them, they're excited. Hey, we're going to go laugh. We're going to go laugh. Nope. You're going to get tortured for 20 minutes before you get to laugh. Also, it's not going to help him either. She's going to be furious.

Like, I don't know why people do that. Well, they want to do it. Like, help me, help me. That's one thing that happens a lot with comedy couples. Like, one of the couples will help the other one write. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, writing's one thing, but like...

But that's why they want to do it. It's like they want to hook up with a headliner, whether it's a guy or a girl. Yeah. You hook up with a headliner. He or she helps you with your act. And then you go back and, you know... It's also impossible, though, because if you're dating a comic and then you book your own opener, you can't be like, ah, next time.

I got you next time. You have to flat out be like, no, I'm not, you're not doing this. Right. And then you break up. Yeah. Yeah. But if you really care about their comedy, you'd be like, bro, you got to go to the open mics and, you know. Yeah.

Doing it in front of a sold-out show when you're just starting out is a crazy idea. I couldn't imagine. I literally couldn't imagine. It would have messed me up. Well, that's why I killed Tony so nuts. Yeah. Like, there are people who have gone on for their first time ever in Madison Square Garden to a soul. out arena of 16,000

people. And then it's filmed for what, like a couple million people. Millions. Millions. Millions of people. You're out there eating dick. That must feel crazy waking up the next morning. Yeah, just like, if you go to sleep. Let's imagine that you can go to sleep. If I fill up a word

I don't go to sleep. They can go to sleep after that. Yeah, you're essentially filming a one-minute special the first time. The first time you do it. On Netflix. God damn. Or on YouTube Both of them are getting

fucking millions of views I know Dude I I'd be so scared to do that People who can do that I'm like That's amazing They go out there

They're crazy True That's actually true Some of the people When you're You're interviewing them After they do the set Like I go

Is this guy been screen Do we make sure You just have a fucking knife on them They do need that airport Fucking thing Yeah Oh 100% Some of these people

are out of their fucking mind. I always wanted to hang in the bar, like the holding tank, where everyone is, because that's got to be the craziest vibe in there. Well, you remember Open Mike Nights? Yeah, true. Open Mike Knight at the comedy store in particular was always so nuts. Yeah. It was just a complete lunatic asylum.

For realest, dude. There's this one guy, Robert William Approvaya, and he would come there. He was a really nice guy. And all of his act was about marijuana. And he, at one point in time, was a lawyer. And then I guess blew a fuse and then just was doing comedy, but he would walk from downtown. He lived in a flop house in downtown, and it would take him hours. He would walk from downtown to the comedy store.

And when it rained out, the way he would deal with the rain is he would take plastic grocery bags and tuck them inside of all of his clothing. So he'd wrap them around his body. So he had his clothing on the outside and these plastic bags all over his body. That's so fucking funny. The clothes were on the outside? Yeah.

So he let his clothes get wet, but his body would be dry. Well, he couldn't figure out how to put it all outside of him. Okay. So his solution was just cover his skin and keep him from getting wet and cold, which I guess would work.

It'd probably keep you sweaty too. Yeah, you'd sweat, yeah. Yeah. So he was like a staple and he would go there every night, late at night, and he would be like one of the last guys up I'd open mic night every week.

Whoa. Yeah, and just was insane. Like, you couldn't shake your hand. Couldn't touch him. He was always nervous that everybody hated him, and so he'd be scared. And I became friends with him, so he was cool with me.

I'd talk to him. But, like, one time I tried to give him knuckles. I'm like, sorry, I forgot. He just wouldn't. Yeah. He would, like, mumble and look at the ground. Like, sorry. Yeah, he was legitimately cooked.

Yeah, he was left. Whatever was going on. Yeah. Yeah. But he was a lawyer. And he just, blew a fuse. Jesus Christ.

It happens. Yeah, it does. No, there's, you forget, like, well, at least I did, because I, you know, doing the open mics, it's like, it is, like, a complete freak factory. A freak factory. But you're, like, it's steeped in that so much for years. And then I remember, like, when I finally stopped going to open mics all the time, I was still in Philly and I, like, just took a break from the open mics.

I would go do shows, and I was like, let me go to the open mic. It'd been, like, six months. And I was like, I'll go to one, try stuff out. I, like, got in, you know, I'm sitting behind the area. I was in like Philly Helium to sit in there at the open mic. And I just got like right away guys like, do look at me fucking side. And it was just like all these people. I'm like, oh, this was like the worst environment you can possibly be in.

It was just so everyone was like, this guy's a fucking piece of shit. I hate this guy. And everyone's so fucking angry. And just everyone's so charged on adrenaline all the time. They're also like on the outside of this thing that they want to do, this dream. And they get to try it. Like a regular person with no training, no schooling, no, nothing. You get to stand on that stage with a microphone. I went down a rabbit hole the other night

and I was watching open mic nights from Long Island. Oh, fuck, dude. It was so crazy. That would be fun, though. It's so crazy watching someone that definitely shouldn't be doing comedy that's trying comedy for the first time. Yeah. I was, you know, it was one of those dumb things. It was like midnight. Like, well, let me see me. And they have films. It's all kinds of things. It's all kinds of Basically, you find anything online. And I started watching. I can only watch for so long and then I get anxiety. Yeah.

Shut it off. That was like when you do open mics and you finally do like a showcase and you invite your friends or your family to watch. And they're just like, what the fuck are you doing? Who are these people? You're like, they're my friends. I brought some of my friends the first time I ever went on stage. I didn't want to do it by myself. That was the opposite.

I didn't want anyone to see me for a long time. Yeah. And I did a show one time because I have a big. So I did a show and there's this place of Raven Lounge in Philly. It was like awesome. Like when we started, a tiny little black box thing in the top of a bar. It fit maybe like 25 people. And I have a big family.

So I finally was like, all right, I'm going to bite my family out. Dude, I remember I was on stage and I knew like 17 out of the 25 people. And I was like, dude, fucking kill me right now. And they're staring at you like this. There's just all my aunt in the front and it's like looking at me and I was like, no. Watching you choke. Watching you bomb. Oh.

For them. They were the audience. I'm like, fuck. It's what that's, you know, the only way. It's like, I know some people that have taken comedy classes and then that has kind of got them into stand-up. Yeah, that's, dude. There's just a function of comedy classes and that function is like it gets you to try it. I don't think anybody, maybe there's a few out people out there that are like legit comics that are teaching them.

But for the most part, not. How, so we had a comedy class at Helium. And the thing was, if you won the, if you took the comedy class to get let you in the comedy classes contest, then you can compete with the other people in the class. And if you won that, you got the hosting gig at Helium. And it was a sweet deal, but it was so hard to get in helium. So I had done stand-up for a while. I took time off.

And I got back into it. I was like, fuck it. I'm taking that comedy class. I'm going to try to fast track myself into host. So I won the comedy class contest. And then I got into Philly's Funniest. When I won Philly's Funniest, I got. But they were like the improv theater across the street was like, we'll let you host a comedy class and we'll give you like 35 bucks an hour.

Dude, I had like no health care. I had nothing. I was like, absolutely, let's do it. So I had a comedy class and they showed up and I was like, all right, never take a comedy class ever again. I was like, don't ever do this ever again. This is so dumb you guys did this. But we're just going to run this as an open mic and I was like get up there. And I had them all go up and just do like five.

You know, it was just an open mic. Well, that will work. Yeah, that's what I try to tell them. It's something. Yeah. That's what I tried to tell him, but the one I was at was like real sketchy, man. It was very much like, I'm about to blow up. I'm taking you guys with me.

This is how it's done. And you get out of it, and you go, this is motherfucker, bro. I got deals in development, blah, blah, blah. It's fucking bullshit. There's so many of those guys. I got blacklisted from Helium because they found out I had a comedy class, which was even a fake comedy class. I just wanted the money for it.

Did you try to tell them? Yeah, I told the owner. I was like, bro, what do you do? He's like, love, man, just chill. And I was like, can I do the open mics? still he's like you can do the open mic and the guy found out I was on the open mic and they booted me off that for like a month oh my god he was out for blood and I called him like what the fuck because I knew

this guy I'm like what the fuck are you doing he's like I didn't call them I'm like okay man you know it's like it's a big thing but well there was talk when they were the same people own cap city here now there was talk that if you headline there you couldn't do my club for three months it's crazy and I was like come on guys why I go I said to him I'm like I'll if you if one of my friends is at your club I'm like I'll tweet about it. Like, I don't, I don't want this to be competition. There's plenty of comedians and there's plenty of audience members for everybody.

That's silly. Also, everyone's something fine. Yeah, that's such, that's insane. That's crazy. Yeah, I don't like that stuff. A young guy coming up, you banning him from the club because he's hosting a comedy class for money? Yeah, it was, it was nonsense. Now, you know, now we're cool.

That comedy class is probably going to lead more people to your club. Like, it's all feeds off of itself. I know. And it was literally like, well, you know, maybe the word got out there. And I was like, never take a comedy class ever again. Why did Philly have a class? That was the class I took. I took a class at helium.

Oh, that's right. Because I wanted to fast track myself to the host. Otherwise, you had to do Philly's funniest. He just said it. Yeah, so I was like, I completely gamed it. And I was like, fuck it. Because these were like people who've never done it before. I done it for years.

So I just went and did the class so I could do the contest. Do you ever go back and think about people that you knew in the early days? And you're like, I thought they were going to make it. We have asked to clients RBC what's to have to

do you know when they scan their card recompense Triangle and pay with their card RBC liy.

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access to share of car admiiard share of There. This guy was always on his own time. He would, like, show up late, just walk on.

Like, it was, I think there's some people you just can't keep into, like, a thing at all. But their personalities are, like, magnetic. Yeah, there's some people that, for whatever reason, they never figure out how to make a living at it. Yeah. They never, like, and then they get bored with it. Or they get frustrated or something. Yeah, I couldn't imagine. Just, like, the, there was, I'd see people go who would, like, and everyone bombs when you're starting out at open mics, but there are people that bomb.

every time for like years and they keep doing it and you're like bro how are you how are you alive how are you doing this I would have one bad set I'm like I'm gonna kill myself dude I hate this some people just don't see it and that's also they don't address it and that's also where they don't get any better they don't have any self-awareness yeah that could be it and their perception of how people see them is distorted yeah no that's kind of scary actually yeah it's pretty cut and dry though when like people People are silent in front of you. You're like, damn, I suck right now.

I should change something. But in the beginning, it's just, it's such a weird. You're basically like running a marathon blindfolded. Yeah. Through trees. Like, finally, when I did like a special, I was like, oh, this is the point of it. You have to come up with an hour of stand-up. Before, I was just like, I need to have a good five minutes for tonight.

And I would just go up and do it and be like, great. And I just go back home with, like, no plan or anything. Well, that's a lot of guys who live in cities where you do short sets all the time. Yeah. We were talking about that the other night in the green room. Like some guys who do a lot of like New York City clubs, they have a really good 15 minutes, that fucking crush for 15 minutes. But when they have to do an hour, then things get weird because they can't keep the same energy for an hour. It's not, you have to pace it.

It has to be hills and valleys. You have to kind of like structure it. Yeah, yeah. And then they also don't really have the material because they're basically just doing their best 15 minutes all the time. Yeah, true. I wasn't even really doing stand-up. Me and Shane were doing the podcast, and I was like, I was going to do the podcast.

I don't even want to do stand-up anymore. And then he, it was pretty funny. Behind my back, went to the manager at Helium, was like, dude, half-mat headline. And I was like, fucking dick. And the guy hit me up. So I started doing that. So I had been, like, not doing stand-up.

For how long? For like months and months and, like, maybe a year off. Wow. And I had, like, you know, I went, you know, it was like I would go and try stuff. So then I started doing, when I first started headlining, I would,

do an hour, have off for like two months, do an hour somewhere else. It was the most insane, it really started fucking with me. Did you have recordings to listen to it? Yeah, I would record the audio and I would listen to it, and then I would like jot down notes. And like, it was the most insane way to get back into it. That was the thing that we experienced after COVID. There was a moment where I hadn't done stand-up in like four or five months. Yeah.

It felt so weird. And then Houston had stand-up. They had clubs open. And they had, like, spaced people out and put. masks on them. I'm like, this is so ridiculous. Yeah. And we were doing shows inside. And I only did one weekend. And then I got super

paranoid. I'm like, what if I give it to someone and they die? Yeah. I'm being so selfish that I don't want to do these shows. That's how I got to stop. So I had this old lady on the podcast. And my first thought was, what if I have it and I give it to her? Damn, that would suck. I was so freaked

out. Yeah. I didn't have. I wasn't even remotely sick. That was But it was crazy. Like, it was just a, it was a boogeyman. For sure. It wasn't like, I'm coughing. Maybe I shouldn't come into work. No, it was like, I feel great.

But what if I have it? I don't know. I know. I give it to this lady. Yeah, dude, I had my first kid, right? Like March 2020. So it just, we got out of the hospital. And like a week later, I was like holding my face in a grocery store to being like, what

at least you could be with her when she gave birth then. Yeah, that was cool. That was what was crazy. Yeah, I felt bad. People were dying. alone because you couldn't visit them while they were dying. And it was insane, dude. It was like, and luckily when we went in for our second kid, that was like it was still

kind of in the mix. We were able to go in together, but like our nurse, you know, if we didn't have like our mask on, she was like, I don't know, whatever, I don't care. Because our people were getting like just like two weeks after we had our kid, people were in there. Like I got to stay home. My wife's in there by herself, all of all. And it was like, it's disaster.

But even navigating that was crazy because it was like, you know, I'd tell my wife, like, well, I want to go do this. She's like, well, what if you bring it all to all of us? And it was just, I remember just at one point being like, then we're all going to fucking get it, dude. I don't know. Like, we, I, you know, I did the numbers. Like, I think this affects older people or, you know. What time was this?

This would have been March. It was like March 2020. And then, like, the next six months, because I, you know, I would like go try to do stuff. He's like, if you go outside, we're all going to get sick. I was worried about it. I wasn't really confident that people weren't going to get really fucked up by it until, like, a few of my friends got it and got over it. Yeah. And then my family got it and I didn't get it.

And I thought that was crazy because I tried to get it Like I didn't I didn't I hugged my kids They were laughing You're gonna get COVID I was like I'm not gonna get it And part of my head was like

Boy I hope I don't get it Yeah I never got it I worked out and I didn't feel so good And I said let me just go through the paces today And then I worked out the next day Same thing I'm like I don't feel so good I feel like weak

So just let me do like My kettlebell routine with like 35 pounds Just easy Don't push it just a couple sets And so I did that two days in a row. And then the third day, I went to the gym. I'm like, how do I feel? And I'm like, I feel fucking good. Like, I feel great. Like, nothing feels wrong at all. And I had a full workout. And I felt fine. So I was like, all right, I guess I didn't get it. Yeah. And I went and gotten

tested to see if I had antibodies. Like if I had recovered from it. Nope. Never got in there. Yeah. That's actually my wife. She was coughing and shit. That's awesome. That's such a fucking beast move. She was like, you're going to get it. I'm like, let's find out. Let's find out. That is a beast move. I'm like terrible at math, but I remember looking up like, how likely is it to die from this? And it was like 0.000 something. I was like, fine, man. I know.

But they, there was so much propaganda. And it was like the thing was we were in the middle of doing podcasts and we've tested everybody when they show up, make sure that nobody has it, tested all of the employees, security guys, everybody that works for me. Everybody got tested every day. Yeah. We'd show up, it'd be separated. The nurse would come with a mask on, test everybody.

And then once we had the results, then we would allow the show to go on. Yeah. So I was like, I can't fuck this up. Because if I fucked this up, I fucked this up for everybody. Yeah, sure. I got to be careful. Yeah. And I just didn't want my guests.

Like, the guests were flying in. They were taking a chance. A lot of them were older. You know, like a lot of professors. You know, they're flying in to do this podcast. And I had to make sure. And then someone ratted us out. So the health department showed up.

at the studio and they wanted us to have a bag of masks like right when you walk in. So we had to put a bag of masks right there. We had to put a hand sanitizer thing right there and then a sign that says like what you're supposed to do, six foot distancing, all that shit. I was like, all right. But they were saying that we weren't socially distancing. We saw him hug people outside the front door. That's completely dystopian, man.

That's crazy. Yeah, I don't know why. You know what it was? Because my parents were just like, because, you know, the first. time we all hung in outside my both my parents were like bro this sucks we're just come inside we're not doing this and that was like oh my parents were terrified of my parents didn't give a fuck they were like my parents didn't want to hang out with anybody until they got vaccinated they really yeah they were real nervous about it they're older you know yeah when you get older you know like when you get older you know

like the the neil youngs and howard sterns and all those people that really freaked out about it they're older people yeah so to them they're looking at they might be that one percent that dies yeah you know what i mean Whereas, like, you're young and healthy, you work out, you'll be, you'll probably be fine. You'll be okay. Your wife's healthy. You'll be fine. When you're an old person and you, you smell death in the air already, every day you wake up, you're like, oh, fucking fucking fucking.

Your feet are swollen. Like, it could get you. Yeah, that's crazy. I'm surprised my parents are like, you know, I think they're like, it's going to be 70s soon. They were just kind of like, we don't give a fuck, man. It depends on where you grew up. I think that's what it was, man. They're just kind of like, you know, they're all just like, fuck that, you know, it's bullshit.

No matter what it was. They're like, it's fucking bullshit. Yeah, if you grow up hard, you're not worried about a cough. Yeah, they weren't. I remember, I finally got it. I finally got it. Dude, it kind of like rocked me. The first day, I had talked so much shit.

And I got it. I was like, bro, if I die, this is going to suck so bad. It's like, but we got it. Me, my wife got it two days later, so then I had it, you know, we had a little kid. So I had a, like, we just switched off. I kind of was like recovered enough. So we were, our kid never got it. Well, kids can go right through it.

My, my, um, both of my kids got it and they just burned through it. One of them had it more, but she's like a little more sensitive. She, she was pretty sick for a couple days. Not pretty, not like scary, but like she didn't feel good for a couple days. The other one like barely had it. Yeah. Like went right through her. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The one didn't get it all. The one like a runny nose. I was like in bed for three straight days just like hurt. Super fever hurting. Were you taking any vitamins at the time? No, at the time I wasn't living very healthy.

See, that's the thing. Yeah. I'm all over the vitamins. And I was all over the vitamins then. And my wife back then, I don't think not so much. Yeah. I don't think she did as much. So when I was around to everybody that got it, it just never got to me.

Yeah. No, I was forgot. And we had like, you know, relative newborn kind of situation going on. That's a hard one. Your immune system's going to be crushed anyway because you're getting zero sleep. Yeah. Everybody's like ready to fall sleep at any given time. time watching TV. I've never recovered. I'm still ready to pass out. Like, I can fall asleep. I go

home and I'm fried. I take naps. That was a big thing for coffee. Now I can take naps during the day. I can't take naps when I drink coffee. Oh, I never take naps. Oh, I love them, man. A little siesta. The only time I ever take a nap is if I have to do something really early in the morning. So, like, if I do a set at night and I'm not home until like 12.30 and, like, maybe I have to get up at six or something, I'll take a little nap. Yeah. Just because for me, there's a balance. of like, what's more important? Getting things done, working out, or not getting into a deficit. And for me, it's not getting into a deficit.

Because when I, like, if I do a podcast and I'm sleepy, I get so mad at myself, I'm like, what are you doing? Like, this is your one job. I know. Be awake and talk to people. Sleepy like a toddler. Yeah, oh, wow, that's cool. So how long are we in Indonesia for?

It is embarrassing. You're like, what the fuck, that? It's the worst. And I'm just drinking coffee and energy drinks. and taking nicotine pouches and just trying to fire the brain up. Yeah. When I do that, my face just gets hot and I'm just anxious. It's like, that's why, especially for shows, like, I try to travel.

Like I leave, like, on an early, early flight, get where I'm going and just take a big nap. And then I wake up and go do the show. One thing that I started doing when I was on the road a lot was I would go in on Thursday if I had a show on Friday. Yeah. So I would get in Thursday night, sleep. And then instead of flying in the day of the show, Because you're always a little foggy.

Yeah. You know, it's hard to... And back then, I wasn't on the neutropics as much. I wasn't, like, taking it with me on the road. You know, brain vitamins and shit, like, alpha brain. But now I don't fuck around. I don't travel without that stuff. Yeah.

No, you do need... I do the day of. I can't help it. I just go early nap. I did a show in Vegas last weekend that, like, it didn't start until 10 p.m. Vegas time. So, like, I got there. I was...

It was brutal. I got there. It took a nap, woke up at, like, 9. PM Vegas time. It was just like, I felt like a bug. You know what? My trick for that is,

the moment you land, the moment you land, put your shit in your hotel room, go straight to the gym. You know if ands or butts about it. You've got to get a workout in. You got to sweat, like really sweat.

Just really get it going. Do some push-ups, whatever the fuck you want to do. But just really sweat. And it feels like it resets your system. I can see that. That would wake you up and kind of calm you down.

Yeah. It resets your system. Like, whatever the fuck happens when you're on a plane, when you get off, you're just like, br-uh. Dude, I feel like I've been microwaved. I get off the plane. Yeah, we have been kind of. Yeah, pretty much. I feel, I smell weird.

It's like an x-ray. You're getting an x-ray. Oh, fuck. Yeah. The other day, I was like, maybe it's, like, good for me somehow. I'm up here. It's just, like, constricting my blood vessels and they, like, turn into a superhero. Well, I, like, was in Denver, and I ran, you know, recently.

I was, like, running and working out in Denver, and I was, like, probably altered now. I did like a 30-minute workout. I'm like, I'm probably totally different now. Well, I lived above Boulder for a while. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and then I had a gig in Philly. So I was living up there for a couple of months. I was living at 8,500 feet above sea level, and I'd work out up there.

And then when I'd go down to Boulder at 5,500, I had all this endurance. I was like, this is crazy. Oh, in Denver, yeah, from Boulder to Denver you're saying? No, from where I was in the mountains above Boulder, and so I'd go down to Boulder. Gotcha, got you, got you, got you, got you. There's like 55, 57, whatever it is, but I was at 85. Damn. Yeah, 8,500 feet above sea level.

Yeah, that's a lot. So then I went, I did a gig in Philly, and I went to the gym, and I remember I called my friend. I'm like, dude, I feel like I could run through a fucking wall. Damn, I want that so bad. That's why a lot of athletes train, like, they go to Big Bear. Yeah. In California, they train up there. Damn.

I kind of, yeah, I got to do it for, like, just once. And I was like, dude, this is awesome. Yeah, if you can live at altitude and train at altitude and then go down to sea level, you feel like you have superpower. Fuck, that's awesome. So I have a lot of endurance athletes. Like, that's why they put the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. That makes sense.

Yeah. Like, training at altitude is a legit hack. Yeah. I didn't even realize, because I've always wondered, like, why is it so hard? And it's literally just the air thins and there's less oxygen. Yeah. It's that simple. And then your body has to adapt, so you get more red blood cells.

Yeah. That's why they take EPO. That's what EPO does for you. Oh, you don't have to go to altitude. Well, I think a lot of them do both. You know, they just go as hard as, but they push it. to that, like, how much before I get a stroke? True.

I'm trying to win a gold medal. I'm trying to win the Tour de France. Dude, I just started, I started spring again. Sprinting? Sprinting. Just all out, total sprints. And just to, like, see where I was at. Because I'm like, you know, I feel like if you just stop, you can feel that, like, you know,

age creep in a little bit. And there's a lot of mental stuff to be like, ah, you know, man, it just fucking goes. But, you know, if you're not, like, testing it, you know, how do you know? You're just not letting yourself go anyway. So I was like doing it I haven't been running like that in forever And dude like my fingertips would be numb I would do 100

I would do 100 meters sprints And I like can't feel my hand Now I can Now I can't And I fixed it And now I because you like grow new veins and shit So I swear to God It's true

Are you a doctor? I don't know I've groked dude We're all equal now But dude I remember Be like let me see where I'm at And I was like Bro you really do

You use it or lose it man And I can run now I did it this morning I can sprint now and like I don't get numb. It's pretty awesome. How do you do it? Do you go to a track? I have a track, yeah.

I'm a track near my house and I just fucking bolt early, super early in the morning. You feel amazing all day. And so you just pick a certain amount of distance you're gonna run? Yeah, I'll do like someday, like today I did like two, three hundreds, two, two hundreds and then like we're supposed to do four one fifties. I got two and I was like I'm tapped. So you're done in like 15, 20 minutes. You're done. You go there, I'm there at like six o'clock and I'm done in 20 minutes.

20 minutes. And you feel like, it's like you were talking about, you run to a city and just get like an all-out workout. Yeah. You feel like you're walking on air for the rest of the day. That makes sense. There was a study recently about explosive exercise and that that's one of the things that's lacking in like older people. They get older, they stop doing any kind of explosive exercise like sprinting. Yeah. And how beneficial that is for maintaining your health and your ability to move around. Dude, I'm telling you, like, I lived, that was like such a drastic thing, but I was like, And my circulation is like going. Like I can't fucking run without my hands feeling all like pins and needily.

That's so weird. And it just, they came back. Now I can do it. My fingers feel fine. You getting in shape. Yeah, it's pretty nuts. That was the thing. Cardio is always like, cardio's dumb.

Who cares? And then you're like, I learned, I think it's just like you secrete growth hormone. And then your veins and capillary start like, you get literally, you get like new and wider veins. It makes sense. It's pretty cool. Makes sense. I mean, your heart is fucking pounding out of your chest. Yeah.

You're hitting 180 beats per minute. It's like fucking four. portion all that shit through. Just clearing it out. Like, all right, let's, what are we holding on to right now? See, like, you never got fat or you never got, like, really badly out of shape. When you see a guy, like, jelly roll, like, I have so much respect for that, man. Yeah.

I have so much respect for that man. That dude lost 300 pounds. Dude, how? He lost 300 pounds. No Ozempic. Just stopped eating sugar. That was no Ozempic? No Ozmpic.

He took testosterone replacement. That's it. That's fucking sick. Sick. He started off. I was like, he's got to be on Ozemic. He started off just walking, man. That's all.

Just trying to walk. When he came here, last time we did a podcast, he ran, I forget, I think he ran 6.2 miles the day before. So they ran, like, he was deer hunting down in South Texas. And he was with my friend Cam Haines, and they went on a run. They did 6.2 miles. They ran. And hills and shit. Yeah.

And then he came in here before the podcast. He ran 2.6 on the treadmill. So I was working out, and he was over there running and talking and laughing. Look how good he looks. Yeah. How crazy is that? Fucking nuts. It's amazing.

It's amazing. And we did the whole deal. We did the sauna afterwards. It was awesome. How long did he lose it? Three years. Three years. God damn.

That's crazy. And he did it the right way. He did it the hard way. Just working out and eating right. No sugar, no bullshit. eating clean food, and just slowly let his body drop over and over again. He's got to feel awesome. Yeah.

It's got to be amazing. Damn. How does you say that's doing, like, career-wise? If he has, like, a persona and he's no is, like, this, you know, I guess his fan. He's got an amazing voice. Yeah. I mean, the amazing voice. The amazing voice.

Yeah. Well, your voice changes with fluctuation with weight a little bit. How does it change? I don't know. I've heard, like, if you're, like, an alto or something like that and you're certain, you're a certain weight, it can change if you kind of, because this is your diaphragms, I guess, in your stomach. I know some dudes who lost a lot of weight

and they didn't like the way they look when they were thin because their head was too big. Yeah. Isn't that weird? Yeah. Like your head gets big when you get heavier. Yeah. Oh, it just grows. Yeah, it makes sense. It grows. Right. With your fucking body. Significant weight loss can change a person's voice, often making it sound higher pitch, lighter, or clear

due to reduce fat accumulation around the larynx, throat, and chest. These physical changes decrease pressure on the vocal cords, improving breathing, resonance, and reducing the effort required to produce sound. So it makes you a better singer. But does it, though, because, like, opera singers, aren't they all fat? I think so. Classically. I wonder if you have to be.

I don't know. Are there any, like, really thin, like, handsome opera singers? Yeah, I don't know about all fat. I think it's like... I like, I know. I think it's a... I think it's a cartoon. I have the same thing.

I'm like, yeah, I've seen that in cartoons as well. Oh, no. Always is a big fat trolley guys. Fat lady with Viking helmet. Yeah, it's always. But that sounds good, though. So your voice gets clear, higher pitch. And it's not as much effort.

Yeah. Sounds like that's R&B legend status then. You can do high notes. Also, cat cardio. Like, you'll have way more cardio. Your heart won't beat as fast. You'll be able to have more oxygen to sing. Yeah, dude.

It's all good. Yeah. That's awesome. I mean, his voice is amazing. And it's his songwriting, too. It's not just the voice. It's like, what he's singing about? It's like, that's not going to get worse.

Yeah, and his fans, I have it like a weird thing in my head where, like, for comedy, I'm like, if I get in too good of shape, people are going to be like, fuck this guy. Searchlight Pictures presents in the blink of an eye on Hulu on Disney Plus, a sweeping science fiction drama spanning the Stone Age, the present day, and the distant future, about the essence of what it means to be human, regardless of our place in history. The film is directed by Oscar-winning filmmaker Andrew Stanton and stars Rashida Jones, Kate McKinnon, and David Diggs. Stream in the blink of an eye, February 27, only on Hulu on Disney Plus. Sign up at Disneyplus.com.

Which, I don't know, that's not what stopping me, but it's like, you always wonder about that. Like, I wonder if they'd be like, damn. Right. You know what I mean? Well, that is a weird thing. Like, I never go on stage with a T-shirt on. Yeah, if you're too jacked, yeah. Yeah.

Like, I would never go on stage with a tank top on. Tank would be, kind of funny. Tank would be kind of funny. That's crazy. That would be crazy. Rich Voss used to do that all the time. He always wore a tag top on stage. That makes perfect sense. Yeah, boss.

Yeah. Character. like kid rock style I just saw I just saw you see the workout Viz No what do you mean

You didn't see the Kid Rock Robert Kennedy workout viz Shut up You didn't see this No Bro You said he did it off social media So you must have really got

Off social media Dude It is It's very funny I'm off social media But apparently I'm not off the fucking news Which I think I have to be off

now Yeah Because I haven't been gone on social media But I read The Apple news feed And the Google news feed And I'm like

Fuck That's basically scrolling too I tried the same thing I was reading about B-52s headed to some Air Force Base, nuclear-equipped B-50. I'm like, what are we doing? Yeah. So let me see this workout video. It's Kid Rock and oh, Jesus Christ.

Bro. Oh, this must be Kid Rock's house. Yeah, I think so, yeah. Rock out, workout. RFK Jr. works out in jeans. Yeah, he's, look, he always works out in jeans, which is so crazy. Yeah, this is Kid Rock's house. Kid Rock has a fucking insane house that looks like the.

White House. He had like the outside of it looks like the White House, but the inside of it has two bedrooms and it's like 25,000 square feet. It's an enormous house with two bedrooms. Yeah, it's all just party. He's got a huge like hot tub room. Look at Hart K. Junior's fucking jacked dude. For 70 on the air dine. Look at him doing push-ups. These guys are doing the air dine in the sauna. I know. Wild. Yeah, I think they go to his like cold plunge with jeans on. Cold Lunch jeans is crazy. What the fuck are you doing? That is ridiculous.

What's wrong with your legs? Now I need to know. Where's kid? So this is his crazy room that looks like a mining like cavern. I've heard of his secret grotto. He's got like this, it's really cool. He's really in a pickleball too. He plays pickleball every morning.

That's what he's telling me. He goes like, get up and play pickleball. He's like, dude, I fucking love it. That's what it looks like. Look at how dope that is. His house is so dope. It's the fucking dopest house I've ever seen in my life Yeah, that's awesome

And it's such a kid rock house Like the outside of it looks exactly Like the White House That's just larger I want you to be distracted from the whole milk They're drinking in the hot tub Oh, they're drinking raw milk That's raw, bro

Yeah Can I bring your attention to something That's been happening on the internet Since we've been live Yes President Trump was asked about Obama Talking about the aliens I got a video on the screen

Oh, perfect I want to hear it myself Yeah. Barack Obama said that aliens are real. Have you seen any evidence of non-human visitors to Earth? Well, he gave classified information. He's not supposed to be doing that. So aliens are real?

Well, I don't know if they're real or not. I can tell you he gave classified information. He's not supposed to be doing that. He made a big mistake. He took it out of class of right information. No, I don't have an opinion on it. I never talk about it. A lot of people do.

A lot of people believe it. You believe it, Peter? I do now. I may get him out of trouble by declassifying. I may get him out of trouble by declassifying. That's hilarious. What's it? What's going around the internet in the circles of these?

I may get him out of trouble by declassifying. Geez, I hope he does. Yeah, really? Yeah. Imagine you can get in trouble as a president for saying aliens are I don't think so, man. I don't think he's going to get in trouble for that. Well, what did he say then?

What was that? They've been saying there's aliens. Right, but what did he just say? He just hates Obama. He's going like, oh, he's going to jail. I'm getting Hillary and I'm getting Obama for aliens. They all hate each other, and they all hang out and shake hands. Yeah.

Yeah, whose funeral was that when, like, George Bush and them were handing out candy to each other. It was like George Bush. Well, George Bush and Michelle Obama are apparently friends. Oh, they're buddies. Yeah. Which everybody thought. But George Bush never engaged in, like, this insult, kind of thing that Trump does.

It's a different thing. Yeah, it's totally. No, that's totally true. He was always very classy. Yeah. Yeah. And especially when you see the videos of him back in the day, like, now you're like, man, this guy's like lovable.

Oh, dude. In comparison to the politicians of today? That's what I'm saying, yeah. He was like, oh, when is he running again? The guy's a complete class act. And then you're like, oh, yeah, fuck the Middle East. forgot about that, but it's like. Oh, yeah.

Well, he had Satan on his side. Yeah, true. Dick Chaney was running around fucking shooting his friends in the face and hunting trips. That's true. I don't know. I mean, that thing is like, did, it was it classified?

But then if Trump's going to be like that he gave out classified, then he's letting you know it's classified and he's telling you the cat's out of the bags. Well, he's saying I may declassified. I hope he does. I hope this like gets him, because that is a weird thing to say.

He's not supposed to be saying that. Well, that means it's real. He gave out classified information. That means there's real data that aliens are real. That's the only thing you could draw as a conclusion from that statement. Yeah.

Right? Yeah, you would think. I think, I don't think is it, I would try, like, try to come up with another reasonable way he would say, aliens are real. You shouldn't say that because it's classified. Yeah. That means it's real. Yeah, it is, but that's such a crazy, if Trump was trying to keep it classified, you think he'd be like, I don't know what he's talking about. Well, I don't know, dude.

Being like, well, yeah, they are, but I can't say they are, and he's in trouble now. I told you I've talked to Bob Lazar many times. Oh, yeah. And I had him on the podcast. I had dinner with him when Andrew Schultz was in town in LA. And I go, what are you doing tonight? And he goes, why, what's up? I go, you want to go have dinner with Bob Lazar?

He's the guy that used to back engineer UFOs at Area 51. He goes, fuck, yes. Damn. All right. So we went to Fogo to Chow in L.A. That's awesome. And we sat down with Bob Lazar and just got to ask him all these questions. I've known him for years now.

So I've known him for probably when I did the podcast with him. What year was that, Jamie? 2019 so I've known him for six seven years now okay whatever however it runs out time wise and he's always had the same story he's a very reasonable guy you hang out with I've had dinner with him a couple times super normal guy doesn't seem like a big fat liar obviously a scientist like obviously like a very brilliant guy like I don't know what to think I keep searching for some bullshit I keep searching for some thing he never saw any aliens He never saw anything.

He just was back engineering these crafts that didn't make any sense. He's like he got there. He saw it. The moment he saw it, it looked like that thing. That's what it's based on. That thing on the desk, that's the sport model. Jesus Christ. There's a guy named Designs by Perry, and the E and Perry is a three, and he makes these.

You can buy them on the internet. He makes it like a desk clock or a desk lamp, rather. So he'd have to examine the, like, motor or whatever, the mechanism. Well, they didn't even tell him what he was doing. So this is what it was. So he worked at Los Alamos Labs in New Mexico, and he was a propulsion's expert. He had famously put a jet engine on the back of a Honda. Like he built a Honda with a jet engine on it just for funzies.

Yeah, yeah. Just a genius. He just loved engineering and doing things. And he had contacted this guy about getting some work, some, you know, work and laboratories or whatever. And he said, I might have something for you that is more along the lines with your capabilities. I'm going to set up a meeting for you. So he sets up this meeting for him. He has no idea what the meeting is about. He has no idea what they're doing. They don't tell him. They just started asking him about his background, what he did at Los Alamos, what he's interested

in. And he's like, it just tells his whole story of science and this and that. And so they had already heard about him. So they go, okay, show up at this place. There's airplanes. that are going to fly you out to where you're going. So he's like, okay. So no one even knew about these airplanes back then. Now it's been confirmed that there's a bunch of airplanes right outside of Mandalay Bay. You could see these airplanes that they fly, the employees that work in Area 51 and they live in Las Vegas. They just fly them out there.

But nobody knew about this in 1989 when he was talking about it when he blew the whistle on it. Yeah, yeah. And so they fly him out there. They, you know, show him how everything works for a couple days. terms of how the base works and where you have access to, what you don't have access to. They bring him this guy that is his co-worker that was there before and then it was going to show him the ropes. And then a couple days in, they bring him into a hangar.

And there's that thing. And it has American flag sticker on it. And so he goes, oh, these are ours. He's like, oh, my God, no wonder why people are seeing these things. This is something that we have. So then they tell him. essentially tell us how it works. It's like, what is this?

A test? Like, they're very vague about everything. No one's telling him where it came from. No one's telling him anything. And then he realizes, like, the whole thing doesn't make sense because there's no welds. There's no seams. It's like it's 3D printed.

And you have to crawl in it because it's designed for people that are like three feet tall. Whoa. And there's no controls in it. It's like, what is this? And there's this generator in the center of it that has the,

this triangle piece of this element that doesn't even exist on Earth. This element 115, he's like, wait, what the fuck is going on? And they explained to him, you bombard this element with radiation. This is how this thing works. Put this dome on it, gets bombarded with radiation. And then that causes this field around this craft that allows you to move around. And so they do a demonstration for him. He goes outside.

They fly this thing. when he's under it, he can't see it. He has to step away from where he is so he can see it again. He's like, what the fuck is this thing? It's not making any noise. It moves around. It gives off this glowing light when whatever this generator inside of it is operational. It gives off this blue glowing light.

And this thing was like silently flying around. And occasionally it would go from one point to another very quickly. Like it could go from like this part of the mountain, to that part of the mountain, and just appear there. And it would look like it just disappeared because it would move so fast, it would just appear in a new place, it seemed like.

What was steering the thing? I don't understand it, and he didn't understand it either. They don't exactly know. He knows how supposedly this generator, there's these gravity beam projectors that are on the bottom of it, and the way you get it to fly fast, it would turn sideways and then it would point these

gravity projectors or whatever they called it into a certain direction it would create this void around this craft and it would just instantaneously go to wherever it was supposed to go that's crazy

right and so he's working on this for months and months and then his wife starts having an affair on him because he doesn't tell her what he's doing it's like super top secret And so when you have this super toxic clearance, you can't tell anybody what you're doing. So he's like, I got to go to work.

She's like, it's 11 o'clock at night. Where are you going? He's like, I have to go to work. So he would just jet off and she was like, well, I'm going to go, fuck my flight attendant or my flight instructor. So this is all recorded because they're tapping his phones. And so they suspend him because they were wondering if he's going to be emotionally unstable. So while he's suspended, he takes his friends. He's like I gotta tell people about this like I can't even work with something's going on I got to tell these people like hey

Every Wednesday I have the schedule every Wednesday they fly these fucking things and the reason why they do it on Wednesday is guess that's when there's the least amount of traffic on the roads So he takes his wife and he takes a couple of friends and he takes him up to see this thing and they go once and then they go twice and then they get caught And then when they get caught then they grill him they scare him they're poking him in the chest with a gun and they're freaking him out and then they tell him about his wife wife and the affair and all this shit. And so then he goes public. And so he gets hold of this guy, George Knapp, who's a news reporter in Las Vegas. And he tells him the story. And at first, initially, they black his face out.

And, you know, like, so he could remain anonymous. He's like, look, the only way I can stay alive, you have to show my face. Because they're threatening him. They broke into his house. He goes outside. He goes to the gym, goes outside. His trunk is open. His hood is open.

All his doors are open. The car was locked. No one broke into it. So he has no. They're fucking with him. And he's really worried. Someone shoots his tire out on the highway. Where is he now?

He's just chilling? Well, he's, I don't know if I'm supposed to say where he lives. Oh, whatever, but he's like around. Yeah, no, he's around. I mean, this is a long time ago. It was a long time ago. And, you know, he was kind of discredited. They tried to discredit him.

They said he'd never worked at Los Alamos Labs. But then someone got a hold of the employee roster from the time that he was working there, and his name's listed there. So someone who worked there at the time said, I have the employee roster from, you know, 1985 or whatever it was. And he says, like, sure, we're right here. And they go through the roster and says right there, Robert Lazar.

And there's also a newspaper article that was printed about him being a physicist at Los Alamos Labs and that he had made this crazy jet engine powered Honda. Yeah. So there's him with the Honda and he's listed in this lab that he's a physicist at this lab. Dude, that's, that shit's so weird. And then what that guy just said? Yeah. What Trump just said?

He's not supposed to say that. It's classified. Like. Yeah What? Why don't you fucking tell us? Well, I always wonder if they're going to try to do like a space force thing Where it's like WMD's in the Middle East We go to the Middle East now they're going like

Yeah, I think there are aliens And it's like now we get to do like space force shit I think if there are aliens You can't do shit to them I know but it's also like if you want to erect some weird Defense thing in outer space So we can spy on China it's like I think there's probably are aliens for the by the way

It's like there's I would imagine there's something I would imagine there's something Because the government, whenever they start floating out things, like I always, I assume there's like an agenda. I'm like, all right, what are they doing here? 100%. Because they just dropped aliens on us out of nowhere and everyone was kind of like, okay. Well, it really started around 2017. That's when it started to become legitimized because that was when the New York Times printed this article about it.

And they talked about these pilots and their experiences and these videos that they couldn't explain because these crafts had no heat signature and they were flying in ridiculous speeds over the ocean. Yeah. I remember them just coming out with it. And then, like, just be, and then they start doing the UAP thing and all that stuff. And they're like, yeah, there's like an unidentified crafts and, you know, blah, blah, blah. So I'm always kind of like, what are they up to? Yeah, it's weird. The hell are these guys up to right?

It's hard to know what's real and what's not real. But when you start talking to pilots and people that have experienced certain things, you know, you just go, wow, what is this guy saying? Yeah, and again, I don't deny it. I'm always kind of like, yeah, you probably did see that stuff. But it's like, I don't know, you know, it's like people. Why is it classified? It's got to be military. I would imagine it's military stuff where they're like, we want to use it for,

we want to reverse engineer and use it for our military if this gets into another military's hands, blah, blah, blah. But then they're all spying on each other. So I would imagine they would know too. Well, the people that I've talked to said that Russia and China both have retrieved crashes. Really? Yeah, it's not just America that has them. It's other countries that happen too.

Damn. Supposedly, this is the big story. Supposedly. There's one that's so big that they can't move it, so they built a building or around it. Not supposed to be in Korea. What? Supposedly.

That's why I heard it's in Korea. But yeah, this is the lore that this thing is so big that they couldn't move it, that they had to put a building around it. Dude, that's, that's wild. That'll be, the thing I always think about it, if they come out and say, yeah, there's definitely aliens. Like, what do people do? Yeah.

This is the building, supposedly? Whoa. A giant building in South Korea is off mid-sighted as a potential UFO storage facility. You imagine if they just built it the shape of a UFO? That kind of looks like it. That's so crazy. Dude, do a square building. What's in that fucking building?

I don't know. Imagine if that's real. Yeah, what is this? Why are they, why do they think this? Well, I would imagine that place would have to be heavily guarded. Yeah. It was just a gate. Who's that guy?

Eric Burleson insisted on the existence of aliens, but admitted he has no definitive. Proof. Okay. I was talking to that video. I showed you the other day who said he was going to go look at these places.

He was going to go look in Korea? He mentioned he was going to go look at the underground one. He didn't say where it was. Oh, this is the congressman. Congressman's claimed. So scroll down there a little lower.

So here is this. U.S. Congressman has claimed classified facility housing a UFO is hiding in plain sight. Well, that's kind of hiding in plain sight. They literally made a little antenna on the top just like this sport model. Look at this sport model.

It has that antenna on the top? I don't know what to believe, man But I know I want to believe 270 feet in diameter Holy shit Yeah, that's fucking That's insane Yeah, especially now

With all the deep fake stuff That's gonna come out Like the next election We'll be in like Deep fake territory Everyone'll be like You were on the Epstein list You were on it

No, you were I'm like, I'm just, you know You could have people saying All kinds of things That they've never said Or being like I didn't do that Hang out with people They never hung out

I mean there was all these photos That were fake Of Epstein With a bunch of different people Oh yeah No, there was a completely fake videos people were sharing. Yeah. It's like, you know, so I don't know.

By that time, it's like I've been trying to just pull back completely from like the news and I'm like, you know. Hey, what is the official story of the Colbert show where they had to air that Tala Rico interview on YouTube? Because I'm hearing two versions. I'm hearing one version is that CBS wouldn't let them air it because like Trump was involved and the government was involved. somehow or another, because they're worried about this Talarico guys, this very charismatic guy in Texas that I really like. Very nice guy. I'm on the show.

Brian Simpson told me about him. And then the other thing that I'm hearing is no, with FCC equal time rules, if he had Talarico on, he would also have to have Talarico's opponent, which is, I think, Jasmine Crockett. Is that true?

I didn't even know. Or whoever his opponent is. So I think there's rules like that for the FCC that don't exist for podcasts. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, they have to balance it. Yeah, like if you have this person on that's running for office, you also have to have someone that is opposing them. Okay.

They have to have equal time. I didn't know they had that. Is that true? So he was on, he was on Colbert? Who show was you on? Yeah, Stephen Colbert show. Okay. And so they were framing it like it was,

the government was censoring this guy because they're worried, and he was saying they're worried that they're going to flip Texas. That's what you're saying. I don't know if that's true, though, because I'm... So it's the difference. Honestly, this sounds like it's a Colbert saying one thing. CBS lawyers are saying a different thing. Okay.

What are CBS lawyers saying? They're saying that it's the FCC thing. Colbert says, quote, here. They know damn well every word of my script was approved by CBS lawyers who, for the record, approve every script that goes on the year. Yeah, but it's not about the script. It's about the humans, the people that are on. if the people are, yeah, here it is.

The show provided legal guidance that the broadcast could trigger the FCC equal time rule for two other candidates, including rep Jasmine Crockett, and presented options for how equal time for other candidates could be fulfilled. So you would have to have equal time. Colbert scoffed at the statement during Tuesday's show. They know damn well every word of my script, but it doesn't have anything to do with the script. said they don't know damn well that every word of my script last night was approved by CBS Lawyers, who for the record approved every script that goes on the air. Well, that's this diverting because that's not what the subject is. Okay.

I got called backstage to get more notes from these lawyers, something that had never ever happened before. They told us the language they wanted me to use to describe that equal time exception. And I use that language, Colbert said, so I don't know what this is about. He went on to say he wasn't mad. at the network and does not want an adversarial relationship. Well, he's on his way out anyway. Yeah, I didn't know he still was doing a show.

Yeah, he's doing it, I think, until like April or May or something. Come on, you're Paramount. No, no, no, you're more than that. You're Paramount Plus. He cracked. And for the lawyers to release this statement without even talking to me is really surprising. The host also noted there's been a long, very famous exception to the equal time rule. And that exception included talk shows, interviews with politicians.

Oh, interesting. So that makes it interesting. We looked, we couldn't find one example of this rule being enforced for any talk show interview, not only for my entire late-night career, but for anyone's late-night career going back to the 1960s, he said. Colbert said that Carr has not gotten rid of that exception for talk show hosts yet. Maybe CBS was worried that this is a rule and that the government could crack down on them, although no one has ever done that in the past. So this is a different kind of government, right? Obviously. It's a very adversarial relationship, CBS, or at least the Colbert Show has already with Trump.

Yeah. What are they worried about? Who is, who is Taylor? What a party is Tala Rico? He's a Democrat. Democrat and Crocket. What's Crockett? She's a Democrat too. Yeah. What is like, oh, they're running against each other. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, okay. Tala Rico is the white guy. He's a guy. His story's very interesting. He was a school teacher. Okay. And his story was that he had this kid that was very

troubled in his class, but the kid was receiving counseling and was starting to get better. But then budgets got cut. And when budgets got cut, they cut off the counseling and this kid started fucking off and, you know, acting out and really falling apart. And he wound up getting kicked out of school. And it really hurt him because he was like, this kid had like real potential. And he is a teacher, you know? Yeah. And so then he decided to run for office and to try to remedy these problems. Gotcha. So didn't he just get like jammed up with something now or like they were someone claimed they were in his office and that he said something kind of like disparaging about like a black guy. Tala Rico? He's a very mild manner looking guy, right? Yeah. There was, I don't know if I'm

getting my politicians. See, man, when people are running against people, stories start a flying. But there was a, it was about another politician. All he said was like, I didn't know I was going up against, you know, this like, I don't know, I guess like a whatever word he used, like electrifying black. I thought it was going up against a mediocre black guy. That was it. Some lady claimed that he called Colin Alred, a mediocre black man. Faced allegations that he referred to his opponent, Colin Alred, as a mediocre black man during a private conversation. with an influencer, an influencer. Yeah.

A comment rep Talariko has denied. The allegation caused significant backlash with Allred calling for supporters to vote for another candidate, Jasmine Crockett. Yeah, so it's like... Yeah, that's a way to get people to not vote for that guy. Yeah, it kind of sucks.

An influencer said it? An influencer was like, I worked in his campaign, and he was like, if I known I was going up against this strong black woman, I wouldn't have known. I thought I was running against a mediocre black man. And then the guy responded, being like nothing about me, he's mediocre. You know, they kind of had it.

I'm looking into what the penalty is for the equal time rule, and I don't really see one. Poor Talarico's having a tough time. Especially if it sounds like he's a sweet guy who's like trying to help kids out and there's... His name's too close to the guy that killed Epstein. What was his name? Taglione, Tallarico.

There's a, yeah, that's... I keep confusing them. When I say the killer's name, that cop, I keep saying, I think his name is Tagliata, no, Talarika, no, shit. It's going to catch up to him. He's like, I think this guy killed Epstein, actually. Yeah.

The thing is like an influencer said, like, what does that mean? Yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, look, yeah, it's pretty genius, though. If you want to do dirty politics, you can just be like. But what if he said I was going, I thought I was going up against this mediocre guy, and now I'm going up against this powerful black lady. That's not a bad. But then he didn't, he was like, you know, I'd be like, that makes sense. But he is a black man.

So if you're saying mediocre guy and it happens to be a black man, and then that person says, he said mediocre black man. Like, yeah, it's not even that bad of a thing to say. All we'd have to do is just not say the black part and he'd be like, oh, he's just talking about a politician. You guys mediocre. I know. Happens to be black, but he's mediocre. But as soon as you describe him accurately. Yeah, you just, you're fried.

You're fried. Especially if you're a damn, man. If you're dead, you cannot be going. No. He's a religious guy too, which is interesting. but also opposes putting the Ten Commandments in schools. Okay. Yeah, I said I think it's going to push people away from Christianity.

He had a very well-thought-out point about it. Yeah. We had a really good conversation. Also, you don't need to be in school and be like, thou shall not commit adultery. It's like, yeah, dude, they're not going to fuck your wife. Well, it's not that. You're pushing these religious rules on people,

and it's one religion. It's like, what about people that are Buddhists? What about people that are Muslims? What about people that are Mormons? You can go down the list for, forever and ever and ever Hindus like what do you come on yeah and it's also you can you know you can kind of summarize it up and like just be nice you know I I worked in high school for a while I was a counselor oh really yeah I was like a I went to school for social work for a while

so like what kind of counseling would you do just like therapy I would there was it was a really cool the way they did it was like it was you know it was a charter school and I was there as an intern because I was getting my master's in social work so they would have interns there as therapist for the school kids basically so that the kids could get free therapy at school if they're exhibiting kind of problems or whatever so it was like I worked at a like it was like an inner city school in Philly and I would just go there and chill in an office and they were just like I'd have to get kids of class and they would just come we like talk a couple times a week and then you could bring their family in if they're like if they're like they had problems at home you can like all right

let's call the mom and dad this is what this guy was talking about this is what talarico was talking about what they cut funding for yeah it's a shame because this this school was like they kind of like ran at them so they're like they're getting funded by the state, but the way they got around it was just using interns. So it wasn't like, you know, you're not getting like the most experienced people in the world. But you're getting some help. Getting something, man, you know? Well, this kid that he was talking about, he had this very detailed story about this kid.

It was like a good kid. Just came from a fucked up house. And he wanted, and these people around him were the only positive influences that he had ever had. And he was starting to get better. Yeah. And then he took it away and he starts falling apart. Yeah. And dude, it's also like, you don't, you forget.

Like, you know, because there's like for kids, when you like, especially you're like in a city and kids are telling you like their lives, it's like it's fucking heartbreaking. It is. Like their day-to-day set up, you'd be like, fucking Christ, man. And then there's looking at you like, what do I do? And I'm like, you got to hang in there. There's nothing I, there's literally nothing I can tell you to do. He's got to hang in there. Right.

It was sad. But it was one of like my favorite. If I didn't do stand-up, I would probably do that for a job. Yeah. I loved it. It was fun. That's what. Well, it sounds very rewarding, right?

Yeah. You're actually helping people. Yeah. You have to it's just like intense. You're just sitting there in a room with someone and it's like everything they're saying There's no like guidance. You have to just be like all right. Well like maybe this, maybe that and it's like a I don't know. I felt really I always liked it a lot. It was pretty cool But then you would like You go back to the school And I it's so funny

I went to social work school Just because I was doing stand-up I was kind of kicking around I was like yeah I was doing the podcast But it was like slow going And I remember watching Jordan Peterson Be like the schools are crazy right now And part of me like I wanted to be a therapist

But I remember being like kind of curious Like I wonder how bad they are And I went to school I went to my master's program in social work Which was like ground zero For all like the stuff he was talking about And he was dude It was literally like worse

and he made it out to be. What was it like? It was insane, dude. It was literally like, you know, I went to school, again, to be a therapist, but like social work, you can be a therapist faster than if you go to school for psychology because you just, like, don't need any of the science, really. You just study kind of like the theory and, you know, whatever. So you can be a therapist quicker.

It's like a shortcut kind of. But it would be like, it was just literally, you'd be in a room with like 13 other people and they would like, you know, you talk about whatever it'd be. Like, let's talk about like clinical approaches here and there. just right away turned into like race, gender, who's the most oppressed, do this. And it was just like, people would tell stories. Like, one time this guy said this to me and everyone was like, I can't believe that fucking guy said that.

It was literally like nothing. You paid 60 grand. It was like, like I would be terrified if I was getting therapy. And again, it's like not everybody, but there's a lot of very unhinted. People would cry in class. So you'd be like talking and like people would just start bursting out in tears like, I don't feel safe. It was insane.

And I'm like, dude, you're going to be. talking to people who are like homeless? How are you going to help them? Oh my God. And it was all female. It was mostly female dominated. It was like me and three or four other guys. And then like people would come in because you'd bring your case files in and be like,

here's something I'm dealing with. Let me get some, you know, what do you think about this? I remember this guy was dealing with this like Vietnam vet who like, you know, had like lived in Philly his whole life. And he was like, I was just shocked the way he talked about women. And it's like, bro, you're Dirty Mac and your client dude for these chicks. I'm like, come on, man. It was just kind of weird.

It was like, did you know? He's a fucking 70-year-old. dude, he's lived in Philly his whole life. He probably stabbed Charlie in a tunnel somewhere. Yeah, and he was like, he was just very crude about women. It's like, come on, man, of course this guy is. Yeah. Don't throw him under the fucking bus.

You're supposed to be helping. That was my whole point. It was like, if you're doing therapy with people, it's like, you know, life is just so hard and so complex. And if you're going to be like, this doesn't sit with my party politics, I was like, you guys got to drop the political shit, man, and just like meet these people where they're at. Well, there's so many guys out there that just want brownie points. That's what I, and dude, he's exactly what it was. I was like, dude, I know what you're doing right now.

You're dirty mac in this guy. So you can be like, personally, I was offended. I'm like, dude. Oh, those guys are the worst. I couldn't stand it at all. This guys are the worst. Then they try to kick me out of the school. For what?

Because when Shane got in trouble for S&L, my name popped up in the byline. Because they had no clue. It was like a double life. I would go to social work school. Because I just took out loans. I'm like, we'll just see what, you know, if the podcast works, I'll just pay off the loans. If it doesn't, I'll have a degree.

And so I had been it had been pretty contentious because my plan was like, dude, just go keep it cool, don't say anything. And then dude, you be in these classrooms. And like I remember the one time this lady, and they're all like young, they'd write out of college. They'd come out and they'd be like, well, and I believe this is like unprompted. She was like, well, if she was like, I would never personally call the cops on a black person ever. And I'm just sitting in the back of the room and I'm like, no one's going to say this is the craziest thing. And I'm like, what if he was beating a woman? And she was like, I mean, like, and like, it was just that non-fucking stop.

And I couldn't help it. So I would start saying stuff. The room would go into chaos. So like I literally couldn't bite my tongue. And then eventually they found once they already kind of had it out for me. And once that news came out about the podcast, they were like, we got them dead to rights. So then they like the student council, like they all them, they didn't like me at all. They all kind of did a motion to get me kicked out.

and so the teacher came or like you know the dean or whatever who actually was nice I liked her a lot she like I had a meeting with her and she was like yeah these people feel unsafe blah blah blah so I had to do it it was like unsafe or they just don't like they don't like with her hand but like they I had a meeting with like the board

basically which you ever like fantasized about getting like defending yourself in court yeah I got to do that and I got to have like you know we got to like debate about whether or not I actually violated the code of ethics and it was like kind of this gray area so it was like It was awesome. I recorded it on my phone. Wow.

It's like an hour long. I never listened to it again, but it was like, because I was like, just in case they jam me up, the lady was like, you know, like, what would you do if we kicked you out? And I was like, dude, like, I'll make the most of that for sure. Like, I wouldn't want to do it, but I would just see you guys, man. Like, you can't kick me out. I'm already like invested.

You know, blah, blah, blah. And then COVID happened. So like, they were just hushed it all. I just got to finish online class. Yeah, they tried to give me the boot. And I remember the day. Wow. Did they have a specific thing that they were.

upset about? Was it your association with Shane? It was just that clip, that Chinatown clip came out. Oh, wow. And they just saw us like, I'm sure they looked into other stuff, but they were like, he's making this place unsafe, we're not safe here. It's like, shut up. Yeah, podcasters and academia. It was, dude, it was... Academia that does not

go together. Also, dude, like, I thought like having a master's, I was going to be around geniuses, it's like, they're not that smart. You go to a place with masters and PhDs. Half of them don't even, like, read anything. You talk about a book, like, I'd never heard of that. And then they'd show you, like, Netflix. Like, bro, I'm paying 60 grand for this. You're hitting me with a Netflix stock.

It's like, this is eight bucks a month. They were showing you Netflix stocks in class? Yeah, we watched the Netflix stock. One of the classes we watched like the 13th Amendment. And I was like, I saw this already. What the fuck, man? Like it's the, that, that like, I mean, I remember thinking like, damn, everyone was on Peterson's ass about this. He was totally right. Liberal liberal arts colleges were like, it was, I couldn't have thought of a bigger waste of money in terms of like bang for buck and like what did I actually learn. Well, I remember when we were talking about all the madness that was going on in schools and people like, why do you care about this? This is happening in college. I'm like, they're going to eventually graduate and they're going to have this ideology and they're going to get into corporations. They're going to get into business. They're going to carry this with them and try to enforce

these crazy rules. Or you know somebody like your kids having problems and you go to a therapist and they're just like psycho. Like there was, we were talking about modalities of therapy. One of them someone floated and the teacher was like oh yeah for sure was called like it was i don't know what it was it was like activism therapy where you get people politically active in orders to like motivate them and enrich their lives and i was like can't do that you can't take it like a confuse existentially adrift person and be like this is what you need to do go politically i swear to god dude it was there was there was like there was like really creepy stuff going on there and it was all just like complete group think you couldn't like if you said anything outside of like what was acceptable

You would just get punished. The teachers would kind of even like Some of them would try to like scold you Or be like, yeah, okay, dude And it's like, it's a lot It would, I could see it why it would just break people Because I would like, my heart would be beating I don't really like conflict like that

Yeah But it was also like, dude, some of the stuff You're like, I can't not say anything This is insane, dude. Do you ever talk about this on stage? No, I've never really talked about Being in social work Oh my God, it's like

There's gold in them Dar Hills It was fun At that time of the podcast I would leave school and I come back to the podcast, like, bro, you won't believe what the fuck these people are saying?

You say it on the podcast? Oh, that's awesome. It just seems like it's a great gold mine for stand-up. Yeah. Like, because you have a very unique experience. True.

As a window into how crazy people are in school? Yeah, no, it was terrifying, man. And then the weirdest part is, like, after years went by, they were like, do you want to get your Ph.D. here?

I was like, no. After COVID? After COVID? After everything? After it all, everything. Just wanted your money. Exactly. I saw that and I was like, man, get the hell out of here.

This would be nice to call yourself Dr. Matt, though. Bro, don't think I didn't think about it. Come on, dog. Come on, dog. I know. That just shows you how many kooky doctors are out there. That really opened my eyes. I thought doctors were like the smartest people in the world.

And I went to like higher education. I'm like, this is fucking insane. Yeah. Anyone could be, you could be a doctor, dude. Anyone could be, obviously, like, anyone could be a fucking doctor. Especially about some subjects, right? Exactly. That's a thing.

Not like, obviously. Not hard science. Calculus. You want to be a doctor. You could go for like anthropology, whatever. Yeah. No problem, dude. Yeah.

And they can't say shit. Like, you can make up, you can, like, make your thesis on anything and be like, excuse me? Well, did you ever see with Peter Bogosian and James Lindsay and Ellen Pluck Rose did? You know what they did? No. They made these fake academic papers. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that.

Like heteronormative, something in dog parks. They were talking about like gay experiences with dogs have. And it was like a peer-reviewed paper. Fat bodybuilding was one of them. Yeah. And these, they were like celebrated. These papers were celebrated. Dude, it would go 100%.

The theory, like the critical race theory and all that stuff you cover. When you get into it, you're like, it was. And I remember like saying this. It was very like it reminded me because I'd been outside of Walmart. Someone handed me like a pamphlet and it was like white supremacy literature. When you read that stuff, you read the first two sentences you go, okay that sounds legit and then it just there's like huge quantum leap and reasoning you're like whoa how the fuck do we get here a lot of that's very similar where it'll make a thing like you just no one can disagree with right and then it jumps real quick and you're like just complete group think yeah yeah but it was scary to be like damn do these people are going to be like these people are therapists working with kids older people you know this and that you know and it was just like how this how is the people supposedly like you know guiding people through life or like taking people who are lost or suffering and being you know I don't know. It was kind of rough.

Because the animus against a person who, like, thought differently, it was palpable and, like, very severe to where it was like, dude. And the funniest part was, like, I was, again, I was in that high school in the inner city. The school was, like, 97% black, the rest Latino. And they were like, how would your students feel about your podcast material? I'm like, they don't give a fuck. They would laugh. Like, they have bigger fish to fry than being like, what did you say on a podcast? It's like, they're, like, high schoolers in Philly.

fighting for their lives. How would your students feel? That was the big disconnect. I'm like, you guys have like, I don't know, man. Like they would even teach you. This would crack me up. I was like thinking about this the other day where they would tell you if you had a client and, you know, say your client was black and, you know, I'm a white guy, I should lead

by going like, how do you feel about the fact that I'm white and you're black? I was like, dude, you guys realize you're in a classroom studying how to talk to a black person. I'm like, that's fucking weird. I was like, just talk to, like, you can just talk to them, man, and if that comes up, you can tackle it. But, like, you're uncomfortable, and then you're going, like, so black person, how do you feel that I'm white? It's like, dude, that is, and they would push back against me. I'm like, no, no, no, you guys can't do that. That's crazy.

Well, you were actually applying it in the real world. They were just exhibiting, they were just hanging out in these circle jerks. Exactly. And a lot of them would be like, you know, I'm social justice, blah, blah, the guy, where's your field placement? That was like your, you know, that was like your internship. and they're like, oh, I'm out in, like, the main line's, like, a really nice area in Philly. It's like, ah, I'm doing, like, a high school in the main line. It's like, okay, dude, it's like, you know, it's like take that act somewhere else.

And it's, like, those kids don't want to hear any of this shit, like, at all. And I would like you talk to them. Like, if race comes up, I would talk to them. But, like, you, that would have been so crazy to take a black eighth grader and being like, I'm white. How do you feel about that? That would be so creepy and weird. Isn't it crazy that they think you're obligated to bring that up? you have an obligation to discuss it.

Also, it's like they fucking know. They can see me. I'm clearly white. They know I'm white. And it's like, exactly. It's like, and if that, you talk, talk, talk, talk. And then you can like bring it up because it's a thing, but it's like leading with that. I always be like.

It's the least of their problems. Exactly. They're just probably happy someone takes an interest in them and is kind to them. Dude, and that was a big thing too of like, you know, because you get him out of class. And a lot of them, they'd be like, I'm fucking talking to this guy. So like, whatever. And I would just chill and be like, you can just do your homework. And then you just start helping them with their homework.

Like, what are you doing? And, you know, and then you eventually build rapport. But it was just like, you know, I'm like, these are the teachers telling you this. And you're like, fuck, dude, you guys are guiding people into this? It was, dude, I walked away from that being like, God damn. Well, there's a lot of people that think that, like, a lot of psychology and a lot of therapy is just complete horseshit. Yeah. And the argument about therapy being complete horseshit in terms of, like, the academic study of it and applying it to people is that,

very few people, you know, get better. I think it does help a lot of people, though. Yeah. And I think it really helps a lot of people if they're in a really bad place. I think some people just want to talk to somebody. Yeah. And that can help too. Yeah.

But it's like what is the, what can you actually do for them in terms of like with the tools and the techniques of therapy versus just being a human and talking to a human and seeing their side of things and trying to tell them your perspective and trying to give them a rational point of view and giving them some maybe some things to work on. But it's like it's not a science. Not at all. And it varies so much between individuals. Well, yeah, there's the individuals. Then there's 40 million modalities of therapy. So it's like you can be doing like CBT, which is like, that's supposedly the most scientific where it's like there's a system. It's a kind of rigorous. You can have like Youngie and stuff where you're like, let's draw like a man.

based on your dreams or you can just be like let me just be nice to this person who's never had anyone be nice to them right and then let them kind of open up and like yeah it's it i think they did a study one time where they took um they let people who weren't trained therapist be therapist and they didn't find a giant difference in terms of like who was getting what result but then there's it's it is a skill though that's the other thing like it's a skill it's a hard job yeah but it i think you're totally right where it's like it all depends on the person have they are they in touch with what's fucked the therapist, do they know about, like, what's fucked up with them? Right.

Because you can, like, I don't know, man. It's such a crapshoot, and it's like, I think it can be beneficial. I think, like, being stuck in it your whole life, I don't know about that, because it just becomes a thing where you start performing and you're like, fuck, let me. Well, a lot of people feel like you have to be in therapy, and everybody should be in therapy. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I remember I didn't do it ever, and then when I went to school for therapy, they're like, you got to go to therapy so that, like, you can know what it's like, and,

blah, blah, blah. It's like, fair enough. And I genuinely walked in there being like, I'm about to blow this lady's mind. She's going to be like, I've never met a guy, so put together. And then, like, I went in there, and she kind of picked me apart. And I was like, fuck, I'm kind of fucked up. I didn't know that. That's funny.

But it was, I for real was like, I'm going to, this lady's about to be like, bro, let me just tell you about my life. I, like, for real, had so much. You thought that you were going to be the therapist for her. I thought I was a chosen one. Ah. It was good, though, because, like, the one thing they can do is, like, the one thing they can do is, Like if you're in a family system and you have no other like, you know, available worldviews, you're locked in that. So a therapist can be somebody outside of a system you would never, wise, ever have access to who can let you run like things through your head in a way you would never think of.

That I think is good. But then it's like, you know, at a certain point, it's like, I feel like you should get in, get out. Kind of like, all right, here's some things. It's like there's like, there's like acceptance commitment therapy. That's good. It's like they teach you how to be like mindful, how to like monitor your thoughts without having them. completely attack. There's like there are like skills you can learn. Yeah. But it's like, dude, fucking and the money of it's crazy. Like that's the other thing. Like it's so expensive.

Right. And does insurance pay for it for most people? How does it? It like it, it'll cover it for some. You have to be, you have to get a therapist in that network. And then they have to diagnose you if insurance wants to, if you want your insurance to cover you, that therapist has to diagnose you with a mental disorder or some sort of mental thing. Oh, and do they have to prescribe something for you? They don't, I don't need to prescribe. No. But it's like, they have to just give you a, like, you know, your bipolar adjustment disorder is the one where it's like. But with psychiatrists, like, I wonder how many of them are just like incentivized to put

you on something. Probably a ton. They're just like doctors. Right. So. And then some of them just swear by it. They're like, just take this, take that, take this. Yeah.

I have a friend who went to a psychiatrist and he said that like immediately, like first meeting, this guy's trying to put him on antidepressants. Yeah. And he's like, well, I don't think I need that. Like, I'm not that fucked up. I'm just not happy. Yeah. I'm sad.

It's also, first meeting's crazy because it's like, let's see you what your life's about. No, he's like, let's get you on this and it'll make you feel better. Yeah. And we'll work from there. Well, some of those guys are like ruthless materialists where you're like, yeah, your brain just fucked up, dude. Right. Is that like, did you ever see the Sapowski guy? Yeah, Robert Spolski.

Yeah, I think he's great. I loved his lectures. But his last book, and again, this was like from him promoting it. I didn't read it. But his argument was like, yeah, we just all have different brains. And if you're like, you know, if you're like a fucking home invader or a burglar, it's just your genes suck. And like we shouldn't ever punish anybody. We should just kind of like keep people aside and just rehabilitate.

Basically saying like you have no choice over what you do at all. Free will is complete illusion. Yeah. Yeah. The determinism argument. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know about that argument.

I mean, obviously free will is real. But obviously you are affected by your genes, your life circumstances, your past behavior, your, all the experiences that you've had. There's a lot of factors to say that will doesn't mean anything. But then why is inspiration so important? Yeah. Why do people love inspiration? Why do people love like a good pep talk? Why do people love like a good motivational video that gets you out of the house?

Like obviously there's will involved. Yeah. And Will is the thing that turns you into a jelly roll at 500 pounds to jelly roll at 200 pounds. Like that's what Will does. Yeah. Like that is, that's a real thing, man. That's not a, it's not a fake thing. This idea of free will.

It's no determinism that led jelly roll to decide to start walking. It was hardcore will. Yeah. No, I agree. I don't, that argument always, because I like Sapaliki. I liked a lot of his stuff. That argument just bothers me because it's like, okay, you're taking the idea of will and just switching it with like this nebulous, like what, there's like a isotope in your brain

that is all like it gets switched on and then you're able to. It's just, to me, it's such a like a, just a weird point to kind of like try to put. across or like there's no free will it's just your gene activates and then you do the thing and it's like I guess man but then you can like change your genes apparently by like acting a certain way so it's like you know I that's I just never like that stuff man it's a weird argument but there's validity to both perspectives there's validity to the perspective that free will is a real thing but also determinism is a it's a giant factor and how many people live their lives the way they live them yeah there's like if especially if you're in a shit

circumstance. You're in a terrible gang-ridden community. You get beaten in your house. Your mom's on crack. There's chaos everywhere. The idea that you're going to come out of this writing vegan poetry is insane. It's insane. That's true. That's insane. You're a product of your environment, at least to a certain extent. And usually someone finds something that they love that gives them an outlet and then they get out of there. The problem with the determinism stuff for me is like, because I do get that. It's like, you know, yeah, if you have a whole whole. horrible upbringing and you do a horror, you know, you kill people. It is like, yeah, I get it.

Like, if I had been me, maybe I can do that. And, like, he's like, maybe we should treat everyone a lot more kindly and not punish people. And it's like, I'm on board with that. It all, for me, it all stops at pedophiles. And it's like, so what? We're supposed to just like, poo poo a pedophile. It's like, part of me is like, we should probably fucking fry those guys. Where it's like, well, that's one of the craziest things about this whole,

what's going on the woke shit in academia is they're starting to call them minor attracted persons. Yeah. So there's, like, legitimate academic. who are describing pedophiles as minor attracted persons and that it doesn't mean that they're evil. It's like, what? Yeah. I know.

And that's the problem. It's like, okay. Especially if you have kids. Like, I don't know anybody who has kids who has that perspective. No. If you did, you have to be like a sick fuck, like to think that it's, oh, it's just a minor attracted person that fuck my kid. Like, what? Yeah.

Well, that's the whole thing too. It's like you were all just bags, you know, of like jeans and where this material goo that just does something sometimes. It's like all right, well, let me fucking squash this pedophile then let me all just bags of gills Let me you know crush this guy, but it's like right. It's okay to abort a child, but it's not okay to kill a pedophile I know explain help me. Yeah, that's where it gets for me all that like determinism like we should just be kind and have a more rational approach to criminal justice It's like for sure and then it's like that fuck pedophiles. It's like yeah, you can't Pedophiles serial killers. Yeah, there's a lot of rapists. There's a lot of different people you could throw into that one of the interesting things about Paulski is he did some crazy work on toxoplasmosis.

That's how I really got into him. Really? Yeah, he was the guy that we first started reading about that was saying that a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims. When he was doing his residency, the guy who he was working with, one of the surgeons, would test the motorcycle victims for toxoplasmosis. And he said a giant percentage of them have this cat parasite. Oh, yeah, I've heard about this.

Cat Parasite alters behavior. It makes you more reckless. It makes you more prone to erratic mood swings. And it makes you more aggressive. It's interesting. Yeah, a disproportionate amount of successful soccer teams have high levels of toxoplasmosis. Damn. Countries with higher toxoplasmosis.

There could also be countries of higher toxoplasmosis don't have any money. It's easier to get a soccer ball. People get good at soccer. It's the way out of the game. I mean, way out of bad neighborhoods. But this motorcycle victim thing is nuts because we know it affects human behavior. And we also know that it affects animal behavior. Yeah.

It makes cats. It grows inside cats' guts. It's the only way that it reproduces. So what it does is it rewires a sexual reward system of rodents. And like mice and rats get turned on by the smell of cat piss. So they go to seek out cat piss with like a boner, like literally. And they lose all their fear of cats so that the cats. so that the cats devour them.

And so when the cats devour them, then that parasite is now inside the cat's gut, which is where it reproduces. So that's why they tell pregnant women you should never touch cat litter. Really? Yeah. It's toxoplasmosis.

And they think it does the same thing in humans where it just makes you like kind of amps up your drives. Yeah. Damn, that's, you know what else is nuts too? Because you were saying that's more in like certain countries that are like developing? Well, it's in rural areas, and in places where people have like outdoor cats.

Yeah. But there was one point where in France it was like 50% of the people had talked so. Jesus Christ. Yeah, because it was wild cats everywhere. Yeah. And you got to think cats are, they're on your countertop. Their fucking shit is on their paws. I don't, that's the one thing.

Like, I have dogs. Cats are fine. If I see a cat, I'll pet it. But like, when I see people's cats on their countertop and I don't get squeamish easily, I'm just kind of like, ew, dude. It is like, it's kind of gross. Well, they shit in a box. They paw around in that box of shit and piss.

And then they hop on your couch. Yeah. with shit and piss on their paws. Yeah. Dogs go outside. They take a shit. They come inside. They're good.

As long as your dog doesn't rub his asshole on your dinner plates, you're probably okay. But I haven't cats to, like, walk on your plates. They don't give a shit. They'll take a seat on your plate. Yeah, like, you're like, I have to get a new plate now, you fuck. What are you doing? Get off of that. And they're funny, but I see, every time I see them, like, get out of the litter box and walk girls, people's countertops.

I'm like, dude. It's funny. I've always had them, though. I have them now because my kids are allergic. But when I was younger, I had them. and they are fun. I like them. They're fun pets.

They're cute. They come over you and purr. Yeah. But it is weird that you have a box of shit in your house. And there's a lot of people, like, they're lazy. And you go over their house that they have a cat. They're not cleaning that litter box enough. And as soon as you walk in, though fucking waft of piss and shit hits you in it.

Like, bro, you're just smelling this all day? It's so bad. I would need an outdoor. I used to let stray cats come in my house. After college, I live in a house by myself in Philly. It was like a small house and all the, like, a lot of the, like, A lot of the houses on the street have been knocked down. So there's only like, there were Roe Homes, but I had a standalone Roe Home.

There's a lady across the street had a standalone row home. They just knocked all the houses next to us down and like two other people. And I would let the straight cat into my house. Like, you know, you can come staying here. But I'd be like you can't, like, this thing can't get in my bed. And like, by like three days, that thing was like curled up next to my face. I got a fucked up eye infection. Yeah.

It was called Epidemic. No, it's called Epidemicorotoconjunctivitis. It's called shit in your eye. Literally it was. But the eye doctor was like, the eye doctor goes, I have. I only see this is like in third world countries. And dude, for six months afterwards, after it got cleared up, they had to shut the thing down and clean the whole eye practice.

Afterwards, my eye at 10 o'clock would start to droop. Whoa. Because the white blood cells would rush to my eye. So I would be out, dude, for six months after this thing, it finally cleared up. Because it was viral. They're like, there's nothing you can do for it. I would go out. My eye would just start drooping, and I'd be like, I'm, I got to go home.

I got to go home. That's your alarm. I would feel like I had fucking... This is what you said? Yes, I feel like I had fucking sand in my. Highly contagious severe eye infection caused by adenovirus typically types a 8 a 1937 cause rapid onset of red painful watery eyes often with light sensitivity blurred vision and swollen eyelids Whoa dude I would wake up in the morning my eyelid was it was stuck together and I have to pull it open and then I saw the movie Ray Remember the beginning of Ray when his eyes get all globed up I was like dude am I going blind this would suck

That would suck if you got blind from a cat's asshole fucking suck dude bro yeah yeah A friend of mine has shingles on his face. It's crazy. His whole face is all swollen up and he's worried he might go blind. He has it now? Yeah, he just got it. He's an older guy and he just got it. Is shingles like when you don't get chicken pox and it like comes and gets you afterwards?

I don't think so. I think it's a form of the herpes virus that affects older people in particular. Older people are terrified of it. They get shingles, vaccinations, and shit. Is that what it is? Chickenpox was herpes too. Oh, really? I always heard that.

If you don't get chickenpox as a kid, you might get shingles as an adult. My uncle got shingles, and he said it sucked. Known as herpes zoster, a viral infection that causes a painful rash. It stems from the reactivation of the varicella zooster virus, the same one responsible for chicken pox, which lies dormant in nerve tissues after the initial infection. So after you get the infection, then you can get shingles. Oh, no. After chicken pox resolves, the virus remains inactive in the body's nerve cells.

Factors like aging, weakened immunity, or stress can trigger reactivation leading to shingles. Most commonly in adults over 50, yeah. Yeah, my friend is like in his 60s. That sucks, dude. Yeah. That's rough. Ugh. A lot of older people are scared of shingles.

Yeah. My uncle got it and he was... Is the shingles vaccine effective? Does it prevent shingles? Is that one of the legit ones? This says vaccines like shingricks, shingricks, reduce risk significantly, antiviral drug shorten outbreaks,

if started early. Oh, you got to get on it right when you see the first bump. So, dude. Somebody knows kids got Mersa from swimming in one of those. Oh, dude, it was scary. We got the pictures. It was just like bubble. It looked crazy.

Mercer's terrifying. Yeah. That's all from people taking antibiotics. Or it was staff. Staff? Staff. Staff is the more dangerous one. Oh, excuse me. Mercer is the more dangerous one because Mercer is medically medical resistant. Medicine resistant. So this was just staff. So it's like a giant bubble on their hand. It looked crazy. I bet staff. Did you really? I bet it a couple times. Yeah. I got it from jujitsu. A lot of people get it. A lot of people get it and they don't even realize they have it until it's too. Like Ari had it and you didn't even know he had it. We were playing pool once and he was limping. He was walking around. I go, why are you limping? And he goes, I got a spider bite. And he was doing jiu-tze. I bought him a year of jihitsu for Christmas. Yeah. I forced him to celebrate Christmas. I didn't say it's Hanukkah. I got him a Christmas resident. But I go, let me say, and he

rolls his pants up. And I see this bubble on his knee with like a pus center of it. And I go, we're going to the hospital right now. He goes, are you serious? I unscrew my cue. I go, you have to go to the hospital right now. I go, right now. I go, that's staff infection. And he was like, why don't they fucking tell us about? Why aren't there signs at the gym warning about him? Like, that's a good point.

Like, you kind of have to hear about it from somebody. Yeah. I found out about it from my friend Tate. Shout out to Tate Fletcher, my homie. We were at the airport once, and I had shorts on. And, you know, I had just like my foot sitting up like this. He goes, what's on your calf? I had like little pimples on my calf.

I'm like, I don't know, nothing. And he goes, do, I think that. staff. I'm like, what? Like, these are like little zits? You think that's staff? And he goes, yeah, you should go get that checked out. And I went to the doctor and he said, yeah, that looks like staff. He goes, I'm going to put you on antibiotics right away and we're just going to swab it and send it in, but I don't want to wait.

And I got on it right away and so I killed it quick, but I remember the antibiotics. Dude, you feel so weird when you're on the, he's like so tired. I hate taking them, man. Some guys fight on them. on them. I know guys that have got staff infections in the UFC, fought off the staff infection with antibiotics and then fought on the antibiotics, which is crazy. Yeah. I don't know how you'd have any endurance. No. I always feel, I also like, they mess my stomach up so bad. Oh, yeah. I don't know. My stomachs was fried. Well, my friend Gordon Ryan, that's his belt up there,

his greatest jiu jizzu grappler of all time. He has to retire because he got staffed so many times that he was taking antibiotics so often that it fucking nuked his gut bacteria. And like he can't hold food down, he throws up all the time. It sucks. Yeah, it's crazy.

He's been dealing with it for years. And he just announced on Instagram really recently that he has to retire. Dude, I got... He can't train. That's, I fucking blows. And he's the greatest of all time. And he's done.

And he's 30. Oh. Yeah. That sucks. Like unanimously regarded as the greatest grappler of all time. And he's, that's it. Yeah.

He's gone like 10 years undefeated, beating the best fighters in the world. Can he take, like, time off? Can he just take like five years off? He's trying. He's done that. He hasn't competed in a couple of years. He can't do it. He can't train.

That sucks. It's like it keeps coming back. Dude, I had eczema one time. And it, like, it came up on my, it was like on my legs, and it was on my dick. And I thought it was ringworm because it was like a perfect circle. So I go to the, you know, I go to the, whatever, urgent care. And I'm like, yeah, I got fucking ringworm. And they're like, that's weird, usually doesn't get one there.

But they're like, just put fucking, you know, loatrim. Or I think what I... Yeah, like, Loterman, that shit. So I put Loterman on my dick, and it just dried, like, the whole thing. It was like, it was disgusting. So then I had to go back to another urgent care. And it was been like the second or third time. I just show like a fucking shriveled, flaccid, like, chapsed red penis.

I showed this one nurse who goes, like, I don't know. calls in another nurse and I'm like fuck all right she comes in I don't know what that is they call him someone else I'm like oh third nurse giant black guy comes in I'm like no no no no

he's gonna laugh as soon as he leaves bro he was probably I can't believe yeah it was it was bad and then finally I went to a dermatologist and I dude you can look it up the center city dermatology run by just like a babe like it's on the website

Everyone knows this who has ever gone there. My friend, I was talking about it one time. My friend was like, bro, I know exactly what you're talking about. She comes in, checks it out. And she was like, dude, you had, you know, that wasn't even ringworm. And then she gave me this cream and it, like, cleared it right up. So I had to show, like, my, like, like, chaps. It was like a leprosy.

Bro. That's... Whoa. Yeah, dude. She saw me at my worst, dude. Hilarious. So I had to show it to, like, four people. It was, like, a leprosy penis.

And then eventually she was like, oh, no, dude. Take, like, it was like a quarter of... steroid cleared it right up. I know people that have had eczema that went on a carnivore diet and it went away. I can't have gluten. That's the thing. I've been allergic to gluten for a while and if I kind of backslide on that

it's like I'll get little eczema flare-ups. A lot of people are allergic to it. And a lot of people don't think it's actually the gluten. They think it's actually how they finish the crops with glyphosate. I've heard about that. Yeah. Which kind of makes sense because like why are all these

gluten intolerant? Nobody heard about those in the 70s? No. There was no one gluten intolerant. No, it was, dude, the weird thing is my mom, she's always been a health person. She got this book because she had health problems and like it was much than the 80s. My aunt was a nurse, gave her this book and my mom self-diagnosed gluten allergy in like the 80s. And everyone's like, you're out of your fucking mind.

Like nobody has this, blah, blah, blah. And yeah, then like when I was in college, I was like, dude, I feel like my, every time I swallow food, it feels, stuck in my throat. My I have, like, gas, I'm burping. My stomach's fucked up. I'm not sleeping. I was having, like, racing thoughts and shit. And she was like, oh, try not eating gluten for a while.

Dude, it cleared it up. Like, it was insane. I wonder if that's the same with, like, gluten that you get in Europe where they're not using any glyphosate. No, that's what I heard. You can eat. Apparently, you can go eat it, you know, in Europe and it's fine. I remember I took a test finally, and it was like, it was like one of those, like,

internet blood test things. And I came up, like, allergic to not even the gluten. like Glideon, which is like another protein inside of wheat, which I don't know if it's at the same thing or what. It was just like an allergy to it. I showed it to Shane. It was like it was moderate and he goes, moderate. You're a pussy. Have a pizza.

I was like, fuck. Why did I show you? He's always like, everyone's like it's fake. It's in your head. You're full of shit. So I finally have proof. I'm like, what are you going to do about it now? He goes, moderate.

Pussy. Like, fuck. It's one of the worst intolerances to have because the food is so delicious. Like think about it. Spaghetti. lasagna, bread, sandwiches. I don't, and eating the gluten-free bread is like not, it's not, at that point you just go, like, I'm not eating bread.

It's not really good. In order to make it good, you have to put so much shit in it that you're like, I might as well not eat it. I've been off the gluten since I was like 21. Wow. And then any time I would like backslide at a restaurant where they cook with it and stuff, it would, you know, fuck me up. Weirdly enough, though, if I get enough sunlight, I, it, like my, I can tolerate a lot more

stuff. I guarantee that's a vitamin D. I think, I don't know. It's weird, man. Every time I go to a doctor, they're just like, bro, I don't know what to tell you. Well, vitamin D is good for your immune system, and these are autoimmune issues. It makes sense that they would kind of be connected somehow or another. Yeah, because I couldn't eat after the gluten.

It was like, then I couldn't eat dairy, and then every time I'd get sunlight, I could eat the day. It's fucking weird. That's the sunlight thing. For so long, people are saying, stay out of the sun. Sun's going to kill you. It's crazy. And now they're going, no, no, no, you need to get in the sun or you're going to die. I know.

I know. I know. I know. What's the new? We've got the new food pyramid now. I know. Well, a lot of people are so angry. They're so angry at RFK Jr.

For flipping the food pyramid. But there's so much evidence that this is the accurate way to eat. This is the way people are supposed to eating. It's like whole foods, like actual food, like vegetables, meat, fish. Like that's what you're supposed to eat. Like actual food that people have been eating for thousands of years, that's how you're supposed to eat. Dude, that's the one. That's the stuff, the backlash against them that I'm like, I don't get it, man.

It's like getting like the weird shit out of food. that they don't have in Europe for in like schools and stuff. And it's like, that was always the left wings position. I do. It was like no preservatives, no additives, natural foods. I know. And that's a thing too. Like I love like, because I have all these food allergies.

So like I got to go to like a hipstery kind of like rainbow flag restaurant. That's the only place I can eat from. So I'm like, I know you guys like this. Why are you pretending to not like getting rid of like Red 40 and all that shit? Because it's connected with Trump because RFK Jr. is a part of this party. Or part of this administration. And so it becomes. came a political thing.

People were just so silly. They'd rather commit suicide. They rather poison themselves than admit that he's right. It's insane. Just give him one and be like, all right, that's actually a good one. But it's that that resistance to recognizing maybe this person that I don't agree with because he's connected to this other person I don't agree with. Maybe he's got some good points.

Maybe if a person that was like someone that I aligned with ideologically had the same points, I would be like, yes, thank you. Yes, these preservatives are terrible Yes, these dyes are terrible Yes, this is bad for you Yes, you should have warning labels Yes, other countries have banned these products Why do we have them? Yes

Dude, and especially like if you have kids It's like, dude, you worry more about that Than like your kids not eating a bunch of crazy bullshit Yeah, it's like, dude, just let it go You can be like all right, like I don't like this But that's fucking rock I like that Let's let them cook on that and it's like Well so many people that aren't religion

Don't have religion in their life They worship science Like science, they treat it as if this is like a doctrine and a dogma. And if you don't support it, you're a heretic. Yeah. There's something wrong with you. It's like, well, do you know those people, these scientists? Like a lot of them are fucking severely compromised.

They're compromised by financial incentives. They're compromised by academic incentives. They're trapped in these systems where you're forced to have groupthink. Yeah. You have this top-down control. The people that at the top are controlled and connected to these pharmaceutical drug companies, they're pushing these ideas. Like, this isn't all clean.

Yeah, they're hanging with Epstein too. I know, and they're crazy. He loves scientists, man. He did. I wasn't a scientist. Isn't that weird? That's so weird. That's so fucking creepy.

Yeah, it's, and the science, dude, the science shit is like, because I do know this from going to Masters, I know you need to understand statistics. You need like a very serious understanding of statistics to actually make sense of those studies. And I never was able to do that, but it's like, you can read those studies and like, oh, look at this. It's a graph. Everything's going up.

And it's like, yeah, but like, what was like the percentage of the, what this? And it's like statistics is for real like magic to me where it's like it's so slippery and weird and like you can make one thing look this way and it's, you can arrange the data in a different way. And you're like, oh shit, the fucking thing went up and now this is better. It's like. Well, that's what pharmaceutical drug companies do for sure. They'll run multiple studies and then throw out all the ones that show no efficacy.

And even hide dangerous side effects. They hide them. Yeah, I think they're allowed to do as many. I remember reading a book on antidepressants like years and years ago, and I think they were allowed to do as many studies as it needed to, to, like, show basically what they wanted to say, which wasn't even good. It was like 50%. We had a lawyer in here that he'd worked on cases with pharmaceutical drug companies, and one of the things that he said that was really crazy was he found out that the pharmaceutical drug companies don't, when they get peer reviewed, when their papers get peer reviewed, they don't have to give the data to the scientists. They give their review of the data to the scientists, and then it gets peer review. Damn.

Yeah. It's like rigged. Yeah, that's crazy. So rig. Remember the study that was like, if you drink one glass of wine, you're going to be healthy? Yeah. That was complete bullshit. That was made by a body of science that was, like, promoted by the big alcohol companies.

It was completely false. I know so many people who are like, dude, it's good for me. I need alcohol every day. They were also saying resveratrol. That was one. Yeah, grape shit. And it's also just like, eat a fucking grape then. Well, also, take resveratrol.

It's a good supplement. And the amount that you get in supplements is like far exceeds a glass of wine. You have to drink the whole bottle. Yeah, true. And then you're hammered. And you're drunk. Liver's destroyed. Yeah, that shit always threw me off.

And I remember at the time being like, there's no fucking way. That's true. Yeah. But no, you hang out more and you're less lonely. I think there's something to the relaxation of alcohol that, like, at least it makes you feel better and I think feeling better is a part of like having a better life and having a better a healthier mind because there's something about people that are just riddled with anxiety and thinking about things all the time there there's a lot of people out there that are just

they don't have the tools to navigate this fucked up world and so they're all a little drinky poo every now and then maybe not bad for them maybe a little just fuck it juice like yeah true if you drop the cortisol a night yeah it's a little bit a little relaxation There's a lot of people that, like, one of the only things keeping them hanging on is a drink at night, you know, just a little drink, just nothing crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Killing yourself. Yeah, I wouldn't want to take that from somebody either.

Yeah, I don't want to take that from people. That's true. I wouldn't want to take that. But it is just nuts to be like, this is actually really good for you. It's like, well, it's lesser two evils for sure. It's like. Or were they try to say that, like, fruit loops were healthier for you than ground beef. Wasn't that one of the studies?

Was it really? Yeah, it looked like they had comparisons. Like, they had a chart. Like where things fit on the healthy versus not healthy? That's fucking insane. Well, the old food pyramid was the best. It was like cereal, bread, and pasta. That was what you're supposed to eat.

That's the best of your food. You're supposed to be charged on just fucking elbow macaroni. It was like, for real growing up, that's what it was. I remember eating... Meanwhile, people in France, they're eating loaves of bread and they don't get fat. I know. And they're healthy. I know.

It is fucking weird, man. We're getting poisoned. Yeah. Everyone who comes here from another country is like, I feel horrible. I know. They have a hot dog and they're fucking vomiting in the trash can. All right, dog, let's wrap this up. Can I have one more thing?

Yeah, please. This is going around, Wexner's deposition from the oversight committee came out like the full video did today. And there's this clip going around that I don't know what the context is. I'll show you. It's on the screen right now, Joe. Okay. I just want to play it and see you. It says, I'll fucking kill you if you answer another question with more.

than five words, okay? Answered. Okay. He seems like he's joking. Yeah. He wants him to answer questions very short answers. I keep seeing people saying you're not allowed to be coached in a deposition. Oh, that makes sense.

I don't know if you'll fucking kill you if you answer another question with more than five words, okay? That's hilarious that he thought he could whisper that. That's crazy. That's so fucked up What is their relationship Like are they fuck around like that? Yeah, yeah It's hard to say what that is

That almost was kind of charming I was kind of like sweet actually in some weird way Fucking kill you His answers in this are pretty tough already I can see he's like I had no idea They're like you stealing money from me ABC reported this five years ago I was like fucking crazy

That's news to me He didn't know that Epstein was stealing money That's what he's saying In some of these clips here We'll see how this is where this goes Yeah, true If nothing ever happens People are going to lose all faith in everything

Yeah Nothing happens from all this If Prince Andrew is the only one who goes down What if he just gets a slap on the wrist He's completely gonna get a slap on the wrist He's not going to like fucking maximum security He's not going to like Oz He's not gonna be in there like doing burpees and shit

He's gonna be in protective custody He's already out he's only in jail for 11 hours He's technically out now Right but he's gonna be tried Right? Well, see, the thing is like I never thought he'd be arrested I never thought that would happen

I thought like they'd strip him of his prince ship Or whatever it is That's it Banishing him to a cat And then they kicked him out of the estate I was like whoa Things are getting serious Yeah, I think they saw

I think they got to see the stuff They must Bro, what the fuck They must Yeah All right Let's wrap this up Dude, it's been a lot of fun

Hanging at the club It's been good times dude It's been awesome It's fun watching your act grow too It's really funny, man. Thank you, bro. It's really great. And you're where this weekend?

Salt Lake. Salt Lake City and Boise, Idaho. Go get some tickets, folks. Go see them. Matt McCusker, fucking hilarious. Appreciate you, brother. Thank you. Great funny.

Bye, everybody.