The Joe Rogan Experience - #2493 - Protect Our Parks 16

Episode Date: May 1, 2026

Shane Gillis is the co-host of “Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast,” a creator and star of Netflix’s comedy series “Tires,” and one half of the sketch comedy duo “Gilly and Keeves.” His most recent special, “Beautiful Dogs,” is streaming on Netflix.www.netflix.com/title/81635847https://www.youtube.com/@MSsecretpodwww.youtube.com/@GillyandKeeveswww.shanemgillis.comMark Normand is the co-host of “Tuesdays with Stories!” and “We Might Be Drunk” podcasts. His new special, “None Too Pleased,” is streaming on Netflix.www.netflix.com/title/82155387www.youtube.com/@TuesdayswithStorieswww.youtube.com/@WeMightBeDrunkPodwww.youtube.com/@marknormandwww.marknormandcomedy.comAri Shaffir is the host of the “You Be Trippin’” podcast. His seven-episode live storytelling series, “The End,” is available now from YMH Studios.https://theend.ymhstudios.comwww.youtube.com/@youbetrippinpodwww.youtube.com/@arishaffirwww.arishaffir.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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What's the story, Morning Glory? It's been almost a year. Wow, it's flying by. What are we 12 now? Is this 12 episode? I don't know. I think we're way. 16.

Yeah. What? Damn, that's a lot of drinking. How many times do we played Freebird? Oh, we're playing it again. We're going to go to the exact same episode we always did. Yeah, we're going to talk about coming out of the closet. Play Metallica.

Yeah, play Metallica. Arkelly. So it turns out that that lady, that was a scam that was fake, the lady who forced the guy to fuck her. Was it, J.P. Morgan? What? Yeah, wasn't real. She was hot. I know.

Was that in the last one we did? Jamie said it's fake, right? It's fake? Yeah, the news is going around that. It's like, there was like a lawsuit is not accurate, apparently. It's like a retaliatory. lawsuit. So he just claimed that she said all those things and she made

him fuck her. Damn. What a pussy. Wait, is he an Indian guy? I believe so. Yeah. Gross. It does read like an Indian guy now that I'm thinking about it. Like a scam? Like the horniest guy ever? Just coming up with the hottest scene. She called him cannons. Once a lady calls her tits canons.

Have you ever heard of a girl call her tits canons? It's such an 18-year-old or 16-year-old boy thing. I've never heard canons. Canons because the one goes to what's going to do next? I've heard guys talk about a girl's cannons when she's nowhere near them. I've heard cans. Cans, sure. Yeah.

Torpedoes. I've heard canons, I think. I'm pretty sure I've heard Cairns. Nick Cairns. Nick Cannons. Jugs. Shetter puppets, fun bags, knockers. They're just boobs and tits.

But a lady saying that? That's no lady. I'm sure. She said she did. No lady. She said, I'm sure you're a fishhead, Asian wife doesn't have cannons. like this. Fishhead.

That's what he said? That's what he said. Damn. What's that to mean more movies? He's claiming it's that? Striptease. No, no. She was the boss.

She made the guy fuck her. Disclosure. Disclosure. Oh, I used to yank it to that one. Oh, gosh. That's hot. Article almost made me yank it this morning. I know, right?

She was laying in bed. Seen that Twitter thing. Fishhead. Dude. It's hot as hell. She's hot. Indian guys should write more slut. This guy's a writer, yeah.

So if he got fired and he made up that story, like, what should the repercussions be. Jail. Yeah. You can't just do that. Especially, well, for sure, if it's well written enough. If it was a guy,

the guy would be fired. If it was a guy and a woman claimed that the guy said these terrible things, the guy would be fired, he would be shamed. But no one's mad at that lady.

No. No one's mad at that lady for making him fuck her. No, he loved the lady. Even in the moment before he came out as a hoax when they thought it was true, her boss was like,

come on, you can't be doing that. That's about as bad as it got. Or he pulled her to the office and go, let me see them. Let me see these cannons. Blast out the missiles. We just got to do our research, due diligence. I just got to see the cannons.

Which also, we should. Just to, he might be telling the truth. Are we sure it's fake yet? Are we sure it's fake? Can't a boy dream. What a great way to have no one to believe you is if you intentionally use words like that. Like, I would never speak that way. There's been a string of middle, middle age horrors.

going around lately. Have you noticed that? Well, but it's back. It's back. Like the reporter chick who's been banging the football coach. Christy Noem was cheating on that guy with the tits. Well, that guy with the tits was fucking. The tits rocks. Those are cannons.

The chick who wrote the RFK article that had a deeply emotional relationship with him. Oh, really? Yeah. That was just text. That was the second one. It was crazy. Then there was a second one she had like that. She likes to get her know her subjects. The text were wild, though. Deeply emotional.

Pull them up. Both back and forth? His version was wild? Wait, this is a while ago, right? Yeah, this is a couple years ago. Yeah, something that, like, let my river flow into your... Ooh. It was odd.

It's like a Dave Matthews song. Yeah. Damn. Does he text like he talks? Is it all jumbly? But see, for a lady, it's like a free shot. They never have to worry about getting in trouble. Like, no one's even going to be in trouble.

No one's going to be mad at her as a journalist, even. It's not like she's discredited. No. The husband was like I'm kind of lame The husband didn't love it Oh she's married Which one is a freak

Yeah The reporter with RFK Alleged sucks He was a heroin addict too He's a fun dude Fun Got after it Oh yeah

Lived his life I like him a lot Didn't use to stutter That's true It's not a stutter It's a vaccine injury Oh really? Yeah

He didn't you talk that way No From the flu vaccine Yeah you see videos Of him from the 90s He had a great voice Wow Black hair.

Are you reading the text? They're hilarious. It's like Prince Charles. Any dude who tries to be like romance? It's like, you don't know how to do it. It's a poem? Yeah, it's sexual. As soon as you're writing a lady, a poem, it's over.

How do we know this is true? I think it was, it was verified. For what I remember, it was verified. Olivia Nuzzi. Nuzzie. She sounds like a freak. Yeah, she's sharing it. It could be from anybody.

She sounds like Staten Island trash. Your open mouth is awaiting my harvest. Oh, there we go. She looks like fun. Not too shabby. Don't spill a drop. Your open Y.R. Who writes Y.R.

Come on. Really? Because it's how he don't. Your open mouth is awaiting my harvest? That doesn't even make sense. You think he eats ass because that's processed. This is my favorite one. I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth.

I'll hold your nose as you look up to me to encourage you to swallow. Whoa. Don't spill a drop. I am a river. You are my canyon. Wow. Baja, baby. Wow.

I love. I'm not buying this. That sounds like literature. But I can't have a pop tart. You can't have fruit loops with the good colors? Yeah. I don't want these great fruit loops, dude. That's great.

You ever seen Canadian fruit loops? They're bland and dim and dull. That's what they're going to sell here now. It's over. We used to be a country. It's over. This has got to be a way to me. make them prettier?

Yeah. Without giving you ass cancer. Right. It's got to be some way. Give us the ass cancer. A lot of people getting the ass cancer. I saw that. Really?

I know the dude is like since the early 30s. He's got stage three ass cancer. Yeah. But he also took four shots. Four of them. Uh-huh. For what shots? Ass shots?

Vaccines. And that gives you ass cancer? You can give you cancer. Allegedly. Did he boof the shots? That's the way to do it if you really want to get masked. Don't tell me how to take the vaccine. Don't tell me how to take the vaccine.

Stuck the actual needle right into the hole In West Hollywood They're just going to plunger It's like Jimmy Buffett You got the booffer Well, Trump Almost got a shot the other day

You're that crazy That's the third assassination attempt on that dude The fucking guy ran You didn't see it is Bobby can't mention in passing Assassination attempt It was at the White House Press Correspondents dinner

Where Reagan got shot Was it Michelle Wolf? Same hotel. Oh, really? So the trip advisor must be rough on that one. At the correspondence dinner. Was there a comedian there? No, Oz the mentalist.

He was the mentalist. He was the host. You think he would have solid coming. He's big. He probably kept the mouth shot. He's like, I think we're going to go attack two more Arab countries. It's hilarious. Metzger goes, did you see the fake assassination attempt? Don't you know?

Don't you know about Gilgamesh? He's like, what? He always brings in his references. The Rothschilds. Bro, what are you saying? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

If Metzger can't get it up, he's like, Israel. Everything's Israel. It's real. Pretty good excuse. I'm going to start using it. It's solid. He's a good mind. He's always.

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It's so fun. It's nice. The shooter was mixed race. That's nice. That's nice because you know you're always like, don't be white, don't be white, or don't be black. And don't be Arab. It's a whole brand, no.

Don't be an Arab. Just a black and white. Just the standard American liberal. Has it had enough of the, whatever you want to say he is, dictator. Oh, right, right. Fascism, the whole thing.

Fascism, pedophile, you know. He was like a smart guy, a valedictorian. He was like a scientisty guy. I think he was a teacher. Must be extra tough for those guys because they're like so, like, you haven't gotten a normal fight since you were seven. And then you're going to get a gun and try to like kill a high-level person. That's like, what a step up.

Well, he shot a Secret Service guy. Really? Yeah. Oh, shit. They don't know who shot who he. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay.

You're saying the Secret Service guy shot himself? Not himself. It might have been. Friendly fire. He was trying to get out. It might have been friendly fire. Is it that lady again? Yes. The lady was there.

The one that looks like me. We were joking around about it in the green room. Imagine if she was like, I know I fucked up way back in July, but look, guys, I'm better. I've been working out. Yeah. And then this is their second assignment. We didn't talk about this part yet. The tweet.

This is the guy. Oh, yeah. The time machine tweet. Yeah, this is nuts. So the Cole Allen guy tried to kill Trump. It's not inside the White House. though, right? It was at a hotel. No, yeah, yeah.

Okay, an ex-account for 2023 wrote a single tweet with that name. With what? So just wrote Cole Allen from 2023. The profile belongs to Henry Martinez, a NASA scientist who's missing. The background image from a website called Time Machine. If you de-digitize it, the 24 assassination attempt photos, appears, but with a hole in the head instead of the ear. The profile picture is a green toad in a tuxedo with a glass, exactly like Trump in the assassination attempt, either it's the most elaborate sci-op in history, or someone from the future is leaving clues in the past that only makes sense once the events happen.

Okay. Why does time travelers keep trying to kill me? But wait a minute. How is that picture the same? That is not the same. That's just a bunch of colors, and you could decide it's the same. No, you got to decode it. Oh, it's like a matter of eyes.

You guys squeeze your eyes together. It appears if you squeeze your eyes together. It's a sailboat. One of those things where you could see, like, words in a... Yeah, it was always a sailboat or guitar. Always. Most is up there. Mallrats.

Do you think that makes sense, Jamie? This picture part of it does not make a lot of sense, I don't think. But it is weird. The tweet is strange enough. The tweet is strange enough. From two years ago. So he's trying to work up the courage for that long. Three years.

23, yeah. Yeah, and then the fact that it's a frog, it's one of those keck guys. Right. Those nutty fucking pranksters. It's funny if he was just tried to search somebody's name. he just got it right he just bailed it is that the only tweet this guy ever made

I think so whoa weird there is a bunch of random Twitter accounts that have tweeted random names just one time so I don't know like what the odds of that happening are

pretty slim I believe these are the eight guys we have trying to like work with mentally so like one of them will be activated and try to kill somebody so let's get a tweet ahead of time

yeah so that guy really was is that fact though, the guy really was a NASA scientist, Henry Martinez? Well, so when the people were looking up his history, he had a brief, I think like an internship at JPL, NASA, jet labs or something. Yeah. And I think the other guy did too. I don't know that anybody knows more than that.

It is weird where you find out a lot of these guys have these weird ties. Like that guy who tried to shoot Trump in Pennsylvania was in a black rock commercial. Oh, yeah. Weird. What? It's all connected. I did a lot of commercials when I was coming up and Black Rock never, I didn't get an audition for any of those. Yeah, right?

I don't know how you get that commercial. I would love to get that gig. It's got to be non-union. Not only that, like, you definitely get brought into the fold. He was teacher of the year this guy. So did this guy get a shot off? Was he close enough to get a shot off? Allegedly.

Jamie said allegedly he shot a Secret Service guy. How would these guys getting so close? But it might have been that lady, the fat lady might have shot him. Maybe trying to get her gun out. No shit. Oh, I'm going to get in trouble. It might have been in trouble. It might have been in a sick.

It might have shot. himself she's handsome it's it's just crazy that they don't have better security yeah what the hell how do the guy get in the hotel with a gun like how are you not checking every room how are you not like checking everyone's bags if you know that the president and all marco rubio all these fucking people are going to be there and you know and Oz the mentalist and you don't have someone checking guns why is there better security at the improv on black comic night yeah throw up a metal detector yeah It's just crazy that they don't check for guns.

That's wild. On a day where it's like the president is going to be there. You didn't check for guns? I get it if it's like a UFC sniper or somewhere. We can't check everybody like that. It's like 20,000 people. But like this is so small. They're saying he did shoot him, but I don't, this was the first.

Secret Service agent did not shoot himself. I don't think there's any question of what happened here. That video they're playing the AI video. Yeah, that's... Well, this is the real video, which is blurry. Wow. And then AI, they enhanced it. Because this fucking hotel is shitty old.

cameras. Oh. Which is crazy. So that guy running with the guy? By the way, guys putting in some fucking work there. There's some speed. He's got wheels. Yeah, he moves.

That guy can move. Half black. Half black. Half black. A black. Teacher. He can shoot. Teachers, you know, they're working at school.

I mean, what did he think was going to happen? He was going to get past all the secret security guys, get through the crowd, find Trump behind the stage and shoot him? Like, how do you think he was going to get to him? I think this guy don't think it up. I bet they go like. I'm going to shoot him, then everyone's going to love me. Yeah, they're going to be Luigi or some shit.

It might be schizophrenia, too. Yeah, he might be out of his fucking mind. But he lived, right? He's in jail? Yeah, he lived. The guy who shot Reagan was like, taxi driver told me to do it. Well, he rules.

I think he's out. Was it Hinkley? Hinkley's out. He's out. He's playing music. Yeah, he plays music. I think we've covered this on that. He plays music.

Oh, shit. It's terrible. It's terrible. From that to Manson songs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was inspired by Jody Frost. Jody Foster made him shoot. There it is.

I will be your man. That's a threat. 2023, recent release. Can't we get along? Let's hear it. I like his job title. Let's hear it. Criminal.

I want to hear I will be your man. Let's hear what Hinkley's, what his jams are like. You have to pay for this. We have to pay for that? No. We have to edit it. Okay. Oh, man.

He's got his name on the guitar just in case you don't know who shot Lincoln. Shoot him For things so long ago You cannot define me By what you do not know I misunderstood That's what MK Ultra does to him man Yeah

He looks like his brain's been washed Like they just poured bleach in his ears Yeah They're going to release MK Ultra files this week I think Yeah, I bet. They were supposed to release UFO files. A lot of black lines coming in that one.

Yeah, whatever happened to the fucking UFO files. Did he do Kennedy yet? Did it's Kennedy out? No. What? What? JFK? Yeah.

Turns out there's some stuff in there that we couldn't see. CIA. Yep. Maybe some other ones. Congresswoman Annapoleon Aluna Lances. House hearings on M.K. Ultra next month. What is that? A gang?

No. I did see... You don't know what that is? No. That's the mind control experiments that the CIA did in the 1960s. People going to hookers. Good honest people going to hookers. They took advantage of them.

That's one part of it. Yeah, that was Operation Midnight Climax. They ran... Brought a good name. Whoa. Solid name. Yeah. That's absolutely proven.

That's all from a Freedom of Information Act request and from some documents that they found. What's the guy's name? That was like the head of MK Ultra? Jolly West. Yeah, and then he went and saw Jack Ruby and Joe. Yeah, Jack Ruby went crazy. Yeah.

Start saying they're lighting Jews on fire. I'm in hell. Like, they gave him acid. He's also, he was connected to Manson. Yeah. Yeah. Like, this guy was running mind control operations all throughout the country. Wow.

They ran brothels where they gave the John's acid. And the ladies would come out and give the John's acid. They would watch through a two-way mirror and then film them. Whoa. See how they react. Fucking hell of a night at the brothels. Yeah, I know, right? It's so sick.

This lady's pussy is outrageous. It's talking to me. Trying to get laid. Next thing you know, you're fucking seeing Jesus. See in canon. Jesus is it a candle. If you lean into it, that's a good night. Right?

Trying to get a hooker, you go, oh. If you lead into it. Meanwhile, your wife's at home waiting for the milk and bread. I was supposed to be on for 30 minutes. I was just trying to get a head job. It's the worst lie ever. The CIA, they drug me.

What do you want? How many marriages would completely dissolve? if prostitution was totally legal. It'd be a lot easier to do. Are they talking? That's the thing. The hooker's on? Yeah.

No, but guys are about to cover it up. It's like Uber ratings, you know? Oh, that would be bad. You know what I'm saying? Like some Uber drivers, they won't shut the fuck up. They never want to see my passenger score. Yeah. I don't want an XL either. Fuck.

For prostitutes? You know what I mean? If they made prostitution completely legal. Yeah. And then they had scores. Do you don't think gals would do it? I think they would. I think there'd be plenty of gals.

Radies? Oh, for sure. The prostitution was only fairs. They're doing out, and it's illegal. How so? Oh, yeah, they are. So, of course, if you took down the barriers, they would keep doing it. Isn't it legal in New York City now?

Prostition? Yeah. Kind of. I've never been caught. How many guys you've blown? Right, a fucker! I was a guest in this! It was right there.

It was right there. It was a little. It was in that beard. It was right there. But they did do something where they, like, decriminalized sex work, In New York? Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah.

Let's find out, Jamo. Sex work. I love when they read it in for that. Sex work. They always have unhoused sex work. It's sex work until one of them is fucking your husband, and then it's a hooker. Exactly. If you call a girl a horse, you get mad.

Like, which one is it? Sex worker. You're a fucking sex worker. Hey, that's a legitimate profession. It's a pretty funny way to do it. Prostitution is illegal in New York City, but enforcement and politics around sex work are in flux. Ooh. You have flux.

Who's flux. debates about decriminalization and new protections for sex workers and trafficking survivors. Anyone else? Well, that's kind of crazy, isn't it? If you have protection for the survivors, so you're saying that they're victims, but then you're also decriminalizing it. So you're making it okay to do, but you're saying that they're victims? And like when it's where it is legal, they go like, no one's going to abuse you because

you can go out, you don't need a pimp. Right. Because you go in public care. Right. So that's, well, listen, if you can give someone a massage, you should be able to drive. them off. It doesn't make any sense. You got that right, Robert Kraft. Poor guy.

Old bastard. I met that guy. You can't help think about that when you're shaking his hands. Sorry they got you, sir. Sorry they got you. Just a normal thing. It could have to so many people. A hundred percent. They set him up. He wasn't even getting laid. It's handy. And he's like 80.

I never got a massage handy. Me neither. I'm down. Every single massage I got, I've been like, you should have responded to those Epstein emails. There's an app for it now. called a tug or something. I think so. Don't ruin it for everybody that's on tug.

Get on it. Somebody told me how to figure out which one of the handjob places, which one are real. Epstein told me. He goes, uh, you know the one? No, a friend, no. What? He's a jizzer guy. Jizzer guy, Ftie, yeah.

And he goes, you know the ones with, like, locks in the door? He goes, that there's no business doesn't want you in there. If you have to buzzed in, they're like, hold on, I'll stop jerking. There's a cop here. My friend goes on a lunch break. Like, it's pretty popular in New York. People are totally, when I moved to. Philly, every single person was like, yeah, that's normal.

Totally normal. So, are the girls gross? They're Asian. I think it's a range. And sometimes you get like a Ukrainian skank. Skank. Nice. Fucking sex.

Yeah. Would you imagine, though. Skank, you have some respect for yourself, whore. How many relationships would just completely dissolve a prostitution was 100% legal? I think he has done already. Well, I'll tell you, in Thailand it pretty much is, and girls fuck on the first date. Oh. Daint?

You're taking them out? No, not those. Regular girls. If I make you wait, you're just going to get a hooker. Really? So, like, I better put out. Wow. I like that.

Competition. They seem a little looser sexually anyway in Thailand. You know, with the whole lady boy thing. Right. They're pretty chill with everything. Yeah, they're pretty relaxed, except for kicking the shit out of people. They're really good at that. They're really good at that.

It's weird. Like, a laid-back society. So good at fucking people up with martial arts. You ever look at lady boys using their training? Like, before they turn into full lady boys? Pull it up. They train kick box. Well, lady boys do moitai too.

When they were younger. God damn. There was one famous one who transitioned to a woman but kept fighting men and started getting fucked up because now she didn't have any hormones anymore or balls. And so she's just getting the shit kicked out of her as a girl when she was dominating as a guy. Wow. It's kind of sad. Like the one thing that you're really good at other than sucking guys' dicks is fucking people up.

I know you can't do that. No, I meant on the streets. See, that's a guy. I'm in on the streets. Oh, wow. Is it? Yes, that's a guy. Oh, right.

That's a guy. That's a guy. That's a guy dressed like a girl. No, I'm in on the streets. Oh, shit. Like, if you pick on one of the streets, they all come after you, but then they use their training. Oh, yeah.

So they gang up and kick the box of shit out of you. And you're like, I just wanted to beat up a hooker. Why are these half men coming at me? These dainty, dainty man. All right. You need a drink. I got one. Oh, okay.

Cheers, boys. Hey, hey. We're back. Comedy, baby. We're back. The parks are being saved. Dude, all over Latin America. Anytime I got recognized, they'd be like, when are we going to get to protect our parks?

I'm like, I'm not really in the area right now. As soon as I'm out of Uruguay, I'll let them know. Yeah, I would get questions from people. It was always that. When's the next protect our parks? Any times I run into someone somewhere. Globally, too. Australia, I got it.

New Zealand. I got it. It's all over. It is fun, though, when somebody like last week? I was like, when you next week? I was like, April 30th. And they're like, what? Yes.

Keep it quiet. I did that, yeah. It's very fun. The world needs us. Oh, yeah. It's good to be back. Goofy-ass fake fucking world out there. Wow.

I can't believe how many we've done. Cannons. We got that going for us. I want to talk to that guy. I want to find out what happened. Interview that Indian fellow. So apparently they're saying he got fired. Is that what the story is, Jamie?

He got fired? Then you can't just make a public post on your boss try to fuck you? anymore? Not anymore. It all changed. I think it was a lawsuit that was filed. I don't, I'm not saying that the lawsuit is fake. But they're just saying like it's horseshit is what people are saying. Oh. Does the lady still

work there? I believe what I read was that J.P. Morgan investigated didn't find it credible and she still works there. That doesn't seem like if she got out of that. If that was a guy, I don't. We're going to put you on leave while we look this over. A hundred percent. Interesting. A hundred percent. And then like Trevor Bauer like

Oh, he found out it's fake. Can I get my job back? No. I know. He works for the Long Island Ducks. Trevor Bauer is a Sigh-Young, the highest award for a pitcher. Phenom. He got some chick pretty much told all the friends like, I'm going to go get money out of that guy.

Yep. We got the text message to prove it. Yeah, he kind of proved it all. But Dodgers? Was it Dodgers? I don't remember. He was like, hey, you can't work here anymore. He was with the Brewers.

No, I don't remember. Move to Japan. Moved to Japan. Try to pitch there. And he's like, I'm good. He told MLB. He goes, I'll pitch for free. And I'm a saw-young winner.

And everyone's like, eh. That's crazy. Lost $300 million. Yeah. Now he's playing for the miners in Long Island. He loves playing. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And what happened to her? I think she got like a slap on the wrist. Yeah, I think she was like, he was like, don't come after me anymore. Don't come after anybody else anymore. That's it? She did photos with black eyes. She got makeup done. He beat me up.

He beat the shit out of me. It was all made up. It was pretty crazy story. Monsters out there. Crazy. But the crazier thing is like, if you are the, if it is a dog, Say it is. To not go, hey, dude, we were fooled.

I'm sorry. Yeah. He's your contract back. He should sue them for that. How old is he now, though? He's lost years of his career. Yeah. Probably over, right?

Yeah. He's still great. He just pitched a no-hitter. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's exciting. He's left in the minor leagues. So spacey.

How old is he, Jamie? 35. That's crazy because, like, when it all happened with him. Yeah, he's 35 now. It was about, it was about. eight or nine years ago, wasn't it? 2020? 2020?

201 is when he was suspended. Five years ago, it was suspended. So he lost his prime. 30 to 35. That's prime. Rewed his life. He just won the Sy Young. He's just won it.

Brutal. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So, so. And all she gets is a slap on the wrist? Crazy. That's pretty much like, go away. She violated some part of the settlement and had to pay him 300 grand.

Oh, great. That'll cover his fucking monthly whatever. Yeah, the Zinn. Jesus Christ. That's crazy. She only got fined $300,000. She cost him $300 million. Exactly.

Oh, my God, that's crazy. Whatever you accuse someone of, if it's fake, you should get that punishment. No, I completely agree. Yeah, absolutely. That's never the case, though. Never. She can't play for the Dodgers. Who is he with?

That's the thing that's bothered me about this. It was the Dodgers? Fake sports fan. It's been on a bunch of teams, though. Why did I think it was the brewers? Because it was last name? Bauer. Bauer Brewer.

So if he went to jail for it, that's what she should go to jail for. Because if she's accusing him sexual assault. He was, I think she was just suing him, suing him. And then public, public, whatever. Destruction of reputation. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's all awful.

Poor guy. You should have him on. I would. That'd be a great convoy. Holl at me, son. He's also, I think, pretty funny. No way. Bro, you got to get a sense of humor after that.

Have you survived that? You survived that, I bet you have a wicked sense of humor. Plan in Japan where they all have tiny strike zones. Yeah. That's one thing I think we could all attest to. Is that the only thing? You survive a cancellation. You come out on the other end just a little bit more.

Funny. Yeah, a little funny. Nothing really matters. A little more pop to the punch lines. He's throwing 102 in Japan. Look at Kanye. How many kilometers an hour is that? Kanye recovers from getting canceled to have the biggest concerts in human history.

Yeah. Time up. Standing on top of. the world with clouds yeah Bill Cosby must be amazing right now he's blind though he can't read his notes oh it's tough to read off a teleprompter you're a blind comic

but I don't think he ever read anyway I think he was all in his memory anyway but I don't even know if he writes or if he just like sits down and comes up with his stories because he's like a story guy yeah he is pretty good I heard an album it was like it really paints a picture but then you're like then you listen to like Kinnison and you're like

oh this guy Cosby is very slow yeah it's a different style It's like listening to, you know, John Denver versus Metallica. You can't, you know. Solid comparison. Yeah, you got to be in the mood. Yeah, both good. Rocky Mountain High are do.

Do do, do, do do do do do do. Dun, do do do do do do. Blastin it last night. Bro, that fucking concert in Moscow? 100. Yeah, it's the best ever. That is the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. We don't do it.

We've got to watch it again. We got to watch it again. Fuck yeah. Norman, don't be scared of the repeating. It's going to be a loop of that. Fine. That's fine. People have to listen to the song in a year.

It's a yearly reminder. We're going to close out with a live free bird from 77. Fuck you. There it is. Look at this. Oh, God. We're doing it again. Bro.

Come on. Why'd you do that? Deja Jew. Imagine how pump these people are. Communism is dead for a little bit. And then Metallica's on stage. It's so sad that rock is dead. We were talking about that.

Yeah, it's all que. Where's the new rock bands? The new Zeppelin. White starts going to run for a while. Those would be smaller bands. Right, but where's the big ones? It used to be Van Halen. It used to be the biggest part of music.

Rolling Stones, Sredding. Ced-D-C. I know. I mean, Arrowsmith. It used to be the biggest part of music was rock and roll. What the fuck?

That's kind of crazy. Nice. Bodega Cat, ladies and gentlemen. Aeroblead. Find bodegas all across Manhattan. You got that right? Fettie, get a bottle. But yeah, now it's country.

Country is huge now. Which is fine, but what happened to rock? I know. I love country. I have no problem with country getting huge. Yeah, what happened to rock? What happened to rock? Who are the biggest?

They said garage bands are coming back with kids, which is kind of means nature is healing. Yeah. That's a good sign. Yeah, kids are tired of playing video games. We want something real. But the thing about that doesn't make sense about rock music is everybody still loves it. Right. Everybody still plays covers. Oasis is doing giant arenas all over the country.

But they're playing old songs. I took acid at that Oasis concert. Really? Cool. MK Ultra. M.K. Ultra? Chicago. I got M.K. Ultras.

Yeah. I was just watching the concert. Oh, shit. How fun is music on acid? It's the best. See, I've haven't done acid since college. I go shroom now. Acid.

It's responsible for the... It'll get away from it. Grateful Dead's entire career. I see how it worked. I mean, apparently, if you listen to the Dead... on acid it's a totally different thing. They were playing too acid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they weren't playing for you to not like it on acid.

Right. You're supposed to, like, if you guys are acid, let me entertain you for a second. Yeah, you're supposed to be on acid. It's like those ayahuasca ecoros. You listen to them normally, they're not that interesting. But if you're tripping on DMT, they're pretty fucking incredible. I got some of Roger Water, we were doing a podcast here, me, Scoring, and Bert and you, and you're like, what are you doing tomorrow? Are you going to stay? Roger Waters is playing. I was like, oh, I got to, it's so funny.

It's like, yeah, I was like, I got to leave. You go, why? I don't know. But I'm like, but my hotel I have to check out tomorrow. He goes, extended. My personal guest of Roger Waters. Change Ari's flight to the next day. And I was like, yeah, all right. But then it was like, I got to find acid on one day's notice.

Yeah. You got to shout out Roger Waters because he was way ahead of everybody calling out the genocide. Way ahead of everybody. He was doing a long time ago. A long time ago calling out how they're treating the palsy. He didn't really got kicked up. He's a little frosty with the heaves, though, is he not? He got frosty with me.

Oh, there you go. He got frosty with you? He was living at me. Oh, that was, you were fucking with him. What did you say? He was on acid and he was fucking with him after the show. We were all hanging out and Roger was drinking. This was, it was over October.

It was sober October. We had a one day permission to do one thing. Exemption. Exemption. Come on, guys. I'll give you guys each a drink if you let me do one piece of paper. I chose the devil's cabbage. I was scared of the acid because who knows where it came from.

I'm like, Ari, I got a business to run. I can't go crazy right now. I did some. Tony's ex did some. And I remember we were back at the hotel And I was looking at this picture And I was like, damn, this is a crazy video Ari is full on weeping in the middle of the concert

Yeah, full on This is amazing Balling He came up and sat next to me And I'm like, what's wrong with Ari? He's fucking freaking out I'm like, dude, are you okay? I was not okay

He didn't even know what the dose was He just took whatever the guy gave him It was fresh to I had to let it dry in the AC of the car over there And hold it in my bed And let it dry some It was like blotted, yeah. Whoa.

It was so good. See, that thing with that, you don't know what it's going to end. You don't know the way it came from. Also, you don't really know when it's going to start. I took a little. I took a little and I was like, shit's not working. Give me another one. Oh, that old move.

Boy, that old move was. I dated a painting in my hotel room for 12 hours. You know many guys have ruined their fucking entire life by doing that with edibles? Yes. Got that second one. Got the second one. They took that second one and then they can't escape. This is how those stories start.

Every time you're like, maybe I'll take the other half. And they roll right into schizophrenia land. Hey. In my early... Maybe your mom's not really your mom. Early years of comedy, I pitched a show, and Lionsgate picked it up. And I flew out, they flew me out to L.A. And to pitch the show to Netflix and Amazon, it was the biggest deal of my life.

And the night before, I did Tripoli show. And he gives you a bag of weed stuff, you know? And I was like, I can't do weed. I'm a wuss. I'm a lightweight. And he goes, well, take some CBD. And I go, okay, I'll do that. I want to get some sleep.

So I chugged a bottle of CBD. And it was THC. Oh. I woke up, the bed was vertical. I was hanging on to the post. You don't know you're going to take it? I felt like the carpet was sinking with me. I was holding on to a chair.

I skipped it. I couldn't go. It was too high. I was high for like 14 hours. Oh, yeah. Oh, you should have went. My manager's like shaking me. Like you got to go.

And I'm like, I can't do it. I can't face them. Like Lysaiat. That's so funny. You should have went. I would have sold a different show. I would have shoved my hand up your ass and operated you like a puppet. I would have made you go.

I would have sold, like, Duncan Trussle's show if I showed up. But I couldn't face him, and I think they dropped me after that. Duncan is the absolute best at saying, like, fucking around. Like, he was going, hold on, I just got a text from my wife's boyfriend. How's he doing? Not good. Turns out he's got syphilis. Poor guy. I hope he gets better.

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Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From Binge All Episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. There's nothing worse than getting that high. Like McCusker, McCusker used to make weed gummies when we lived together. He would make homemade. Wow. He would, like, try to make shit.

It was crazy. And then I'd just be sitting there playing Xbox and he'd be like, here, take some of these. And I'd just try them out. But one time he left, I did a show to casino outside of Philly. He gave me a bag of gummy bears. Obviously, I got fucking hammered. And I was just in my hotel room just, I ate them. I just ate as many as I could.

Did you know that they were pot gummy bears? I did. But I did. But it was hammered. You didn't. You didn't. They're so good. I just killed that fucking hotel lobby.

That was great. And then I woke up and it was in a casino with no, my room had no windows. It was in the fucking basement. And I didn't know my buddy was also, I was like, you can sleep my room. He was on the floor. He was this kid that opened for me.

In the morning, I woke up and I was still high as fuck. And I was just like, ah, ah! In the darkness, I hear somebody like, Shane. I was like, ah. That's like waking up. It's wild. Wake up high socks. I was like, who's it?

Who's it? You remember the days where Joey Diaz would have people in the church or what's happening now, and he would swap out the 25 milligram edibles for 250s? He did it to me. It's like a package like this, whatever. And I see it, it says 25. I'm like, you know what? I'm a 10 guy, but when I'm with Dewey, I'll go 25.

And then I ate it. But then something nags in your head. You're like, why was it 20? It was like tilted? Why was it tilted a little? Right. And then I was just like kept talking. And I was like, picked it off.

and you just see $2.50. Oh, Joey, you killed me. Oh, he would give Lee Syatt at 500s. What? We just got Lee again. We did a 420 episode. And Lee was like, oh, yeah, back to that. Indy 500.

500 milligrams? Yeah. It's crazy, dude. You know what's crazy? Jamo? Jamie can do 1,000 and it barely hits him. Shut up. Is that true?

Yeah. He's got some weird enzyme. You got to go with a slice of pizza or something. Doesn't work on them. Wow. Okay, fair. Damn. Yeah, it just doesn't work.

with his spectrumy. Yeah, anything more than 10. Some people, every once in a while. His super brain just shuts it off. Like, nope, not interested, bye. Wow. Mine does not, dude. If I take 10 milligrams, I'm like, oh.

Same. Well, the UFC's always great. We take, like, 50 in just like six hours. Well, you guys took acid at the UFC before. He took acid. We were up in the bat seats, so we took acid. Me, Red Band and Diaz. And then Rogan, it was kind of early on.

And Rogan's like, where are you guys? We're up there. And he's like, see us. Like, are you guys flying? We're like, we're like, we're fuck, dude. And he goes, Half of my day was thinking about them being on acid watching these crazy fights.

I didn't imagine? It made me jealous. It felt like it must be so fun. Forest Griffin came in and everyone's cheering. I'm like, why are you cheering? You might get hurt. This is like 2005 then. This is early days.

I just seen Brock Lezler on acid. Terrified. He's a warrior, that guy. Like a Viking. You ever see his daughter? His daughter's a champion shot putter? What? What?

No, what did you see? She's a fucking athlete. Oh, shot put. She throws that iron ball. He thought it was shooting a gun. Bro, she's a fucking... You got to see her. It's definitely related.

Watch her. Yeah, 100%. Look those cheeks. But watch the video. See if you can find a video for throwing it. She's a beautiful, sturdy lady. Mark's talking shit. I agree with Shane.

I have nothing but respect for you and your family. Oh, she is a lot of it? I'm sturdy. Watch this. This Viking woman, I know you. Look at this. Whoa. Pale honky.

Bro, that's crazy. Imagine blowing your shoulder out trying to fucking throw that thing. Ooh, we! Imagine her grabbing your balls. Houchy, machi. Can't get over the line. Don't go over the line. Make a warrior with those jeans.

Yes. What's the mom look like, huh? She's hot. She's just a tank. She's a pro wrestler. She's a fucking transformer. She's a bulldozer. She's optimist.

Get the mom up. The mom is hot. Oh, yeah? She got all Brock's jeans. Right. That's the mom. What? Oh, my Lord.

From WWW. That's right. Whoa. That's the wife. Sabo is so hot. That's what I'm talking about. The puppies. But bro, look at his jeans.

Those jeans dominate. Nice cannons. Those are Viking jeans. That's what Iceland looks the way it is. Viking jeans. Oh, is that them now? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah.

She's 10 years older than. She looks great. She looks great. She's got a bit of a bulge, though, on the right. That's her hands, dude. Oh, God. Got it. You never know anybody.

I lost it. Brock. He's gonna fucking kill you. He's gonna find you. He's gonna help him. He's writing your name down with crayons right now. Norman, bad. He's got that sword tattoo right here.

Just a real warrior. Yeah, he said he got drunk and didn't remember it and woke up. I was like, what the fuck did I do? Yeah, right. You just regret it. That's a lame tattoo. You just regret it. For sure.

For sure. Well, Steveo's got a dick on his forehead. Yeah, but that's for fun. Yeah. He's got tattoos on an ATV. He was on the podcast, and it was like first couple of minutes, and I was like, do you have a dick tattoo above your eyebrows? Yeah. What?

I've done his pot. I didn't notice that. It must be new. I missed it. Yeah, it's pretty new. Pull it up. He was on a few months ago. Yeah.

Jamo. Not even. New Jackass coming next month. Yeah, look. Oh, man. What a lunatic. Wow. Yeah, I wouldn't recommend that.

Post Malone tattooed him. Post Malone. He's not a trained tattoo artist. Well, I don't think you have to be trained. Dick's got quite a curve. He's pretty good. Are there rules? He might actually know.

Are there any rules as to, like, who can do a tattoo? No. I don't think so. If you're in charge or whatever and, like, have a business, yeah. You can just do it, though. Do you want to your friend? I saw fear. You can just do it with Penn.

Interesting. Huh. Interesting. Steveo's a good egg. He's a fun dude. He's a fun dude. He's a fun dude. Jackass rules.

New jackets. I was so excited. when I hurt. It was like... Oh, they're doing another one? June. He played a bunch of the scenes where Knoxville did too, them all getting concussions. And I was like,

I asked Knoxville, how many times you've been out? He's like at least 16. Wow. 16 times. Out cold. It's funny when one of them gets like Reddit rap for not going hard enough, like Knoxville did once. And he goes, fine. I'll step up and I'll literally blow a ball off. And then like Danger

had one where he'd say, I'll be the one this time. Knoxville always went to So hard. Yeah. It was bad. It was bad feedback. But they were like, you're protecting your face too much. It was like, all right, I'll show you.

I asked, I asked We Man. I was like, who got PTSD this time? He was like, England. England's fucked forever now. Oh, yeah. What? What? Why?

Because they put him in horrible situations. What are they doing? I don't know. I'm waiting to find out. What, Jamie? I'm talking about this one because the last one they got him. No, they got danger error last time bad, with the bear and shit where you could tell he's like, this is never going to leave him.

And the fucking donkey in the one. That was terrifying. Yeah. He just walked up behind when the goal was to get him bucked in the nuts. He just standing behind him. He's just behind him, like, shaking. Then they're all making fun of him. And the donkey kicked him?

Yeah, got him right in the balls. Oh, my God, dude. They haven't gotten into a room. He obviously knew something was happening. He knew something's up. He just can't be. He looks great. He does look pretty good.

Nice to get. He was a handsome devil. He's a handsome guy. So he's in the room strapped to a table? They're doing like an electric chair. He's shocking him. He's like, come on, stop. It's annoying.

but I get it. And then what happens? They cover them in honey. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Oh, the balls. And he's like, what? Is that meat?

Yeah. What are you doing? The fucking honey's in my arms. Oh, God. I love those. Oh, shit. That something's opening. He's got a chain on the bear.

Keep watching it. The chain is probably just so they could pull them off. Yeah stay calm Oh he's gonna lick him Oh Chains not attached to anything That's a good point

Chains free Oh this is wild This is crazy Oh no Not fair Are you really allergic to bees Aaron Oh he's trembling They shock

Is still shocking him What? Shocking him I didn't even get the answer Ha No, no. Oh, is that like salmon? Oh, my God.

This is crazy. He's so frightened. Oh, he's got the paw. There's nothing more in there. There is, though. There's nothing more in there. That's not so bad. What if you just came?

You see his pants get wet? They fucked with him real bad, though. This was... They had to get a bear out. So it's a trained bear. Sort of, though. But it's a bear. Yeah.

You know what's nice is BAM. They let BAM back in the group. Oh, good. Oh, really? He's in the next one. BAM rules. I heard he's like skating again. Yeah.

Yeah, it's... Westchester, baby. So what happened to him? He just went off the rails, drugs, pills. Pills. Yeah. Now he's back. He's back.

He's back. Come back. Let's go. BAM rules. There's a video I saw, and it was like asking all the jackass people who can skate. People like, oh, we man's pretty good. And then someone's like, no,

Danger Aaron's pretty good. And then it just starts the Kyrrond's just going, it's Bam. And then John Knoxville was like, I can go to Ali. Like, it's Bam. Bam was good. I met him a bunch when I was going to college. Really? Yeah, I went to college in Westchester where they all were.

So, like, yeah, you'd see him around town. He was just the nicest. Yeah. He was always just the man. He owned that town, huh? Oh, yeah. You'd have purple anbo. You'd see it.

It'd be at the fucking Wawa. You'd be like, holy fuck, Bams here. Holy fuck. Holy. With his eyeliner? Yeah. I drove by Castle. Bam this you know the house they

evil of abam it was right where I lived when we were filming tires I lived right next to it and I would occasionally just drive over and look at it yeah every kid's dream skateboard shit in the back the ramps he did some trick that was off a bridge onto a moving bus and then off the bus on the road I think you're thinking of the video game

oh I love the game maybe but no this was real Bam's dad got fucked pretty hard though what happened well they were just punched with him all the law Phil yeah Phil he would just wake him up and just start punching me the face.

It was great. Sweetest man. Cut it out. I'm sleeping. CK.Y. Crazy that those guys did that for so long. Oh, yeah. That seemed like a thing you could only do once. Hell, they're still going. The first places I ever did stand

up and host of my own show was his bar in Westchester. Wow. The note. Like, how old are they? Like, how old is Steevo? He's got to be 50. Yeah. 50. Here. Look with a... Yeah.

What are you going to do to him? Oh. Oh, the dad finally gets his revenge. He's hiding behind the door. Yeah, Jackass rules. Yeah, hell yeah. This is the best. It's the best comedies.

It's just crazy that those guys made a career doing that. Yeah. It became famous, just fucking each other up. We all copied them. Me and my friends were outside filming us jumping into trees off the roof and shit. Totally. We all were like, this is the coolest thing ever. Yeah.

They were all had to be. They were the first one. like, don't do this. Anyway, that's the legal part. Now watch and try to do it. This shit's fun. We're having a blast, though. You should try it.

But don't do it legally. Yeah. How is the new Fear Factor? There's a new Fear Factor? Knoxville's hosting it. What? Knoxville, yeah. He came on to promote it.

Yeah. He's hosting the new Fear Factor. It's very nice. I love Jackass so much. Yeah, me too. He's a good dude. Johnny Knoxville's a really nice guy. The coolest.

Yeah. Although his dick is broken. That sucks. I think it's fixed. Oh, great. I think they've fixed it. Fix that nowadays. All right.

Stem cells. Fucking everyone's getting them. I got them. Everyone's getting dicks these days. Wait, you got stem? Yeah. Whoa. What does that mean?

Waits to, I don't know. It's been one day. I don't know. How do you feel? Feel fine. Do you see that thing that I sent you today? No. I sang you an article with this video, this lady, is saying that the one operation that has

the least amount of success and is the most unnecessary is meniscus operations. I had one, too. I couldn't walk, though. What do you mean? I had to do it. They said, refit. I said rehabilitation is better. Like, keeping the tissue in there and rehabbing it is better than having it removed.

Interesting. Yeah. I don't know. I had mine removed on my left leg. Yeah. But it does fuck with me more than my right leg. And what did you have in the right leg? Just, I have a tear, a meniscus tear, but I just left it.

And you just left it? No. Stemcelled. I tore it doing a kicking contest with Joe Schilling. Whoa. With jeans on. You're in Jackass. Jeans on.

This is totally Jack guys. He just wanted to see who could kick. kick harder. He heard I kick really hard. He's a world champion kick boxer, so he wanted to kick this thing, and he wanted me to kick it. I did it with jeans on. What did you do? A bag of the arcade? We have this machine in the back. All the tests. He hit it, and it shows you...

You tore your meniscus on that? Because you fucking... I wailed it. We did no warm-up at all at 52 years old. Just fucking slammed it. Joe Shelley came in three hours early and stretching. No, he didn't. He did no warm-up either. That would be a great jackass. Joe Rogan kicks you. He had butter bean, punch him.

I saw that. It's the hardest thing to watch, dude, because he was already rocked and fucked up and then Butterbean put him out. And they're in, like, a target or something. Yeah, like a bodega or something. Yeah. The extra level, though, is it's not just somebody.

It's Butterbean punching you. Or it's not just taking a slap shot. It's somebody from the Predators, fucking slapshotting it at your face. Oh. That's right. Francis Ingano punch him in the balls. The cup test.

Oh, God. They just kept telling them, like, you know, fighter's going to come today, and they didn't tell him it's Francist and gone. Oh, my God. It's hilarious to it. Oh, my God. Oh, there he is.

This is mean. This is too far. I can't watch that. Yeah, you can. Watch it. All right. Let's watch it. Watch this.

And Francis doesn't even hold back. Oh, I mean, that's going to ruin your junk. Oh, dude. That kind of pain is crazy. Also, that's a terrible cup. That's a shitty cup. No one should ever doubt danger ever again. Watch this.

One more time. Oh, my God. He put all of his 265 pounds of that too. The realization on his face when he put it in it, it's worse than I think. thought it was going to be and it's real. Bro, it's like getting hit by a car. Right on your dick. That's brutal.

Right. Look at the eyes change. And the thing about those shitty cups is sometimes those shitty cups hit your nut. Like the cup actually, your balls are kind of like poking out the side a little bit. And the cup slams into your nut. It's also, it's not, they just got this a target on the way to this. Yeah, yeah. Right.

It was fitted. They were just like, I don't know, just give me one. Real solid cup with a compression shorts. See, Gen Z or Gen Alpha will never have. a jackass. You don't think so? No, I think those are too mean. But what about these streamers that keep getting beat up? Yeah, they're came up. Oh, is that, is that a thing? Yeah, these streamers are like picking fights of people and getting fucked up. Oh, all right, all right. Yeah, there's a lot of

streamers that are getting that fuck beating out of them. Yeah. In a good way? Well, I mean, they're getting, they're provoking people and occasionally they provoke the wrong person. They fight club it until somebody picks a fight back with him. There's this one with the Tiki, Tiki fought for the UFC. He's like a top-level trainer, manages fighters, and this streamer kid is in his face selling them. He's got a gonna fuck him up and Teakey's like, oh really? And he's like, yeah, I'll fuck you up for sure. And then he like moves too close to him and Tiki just cracks him.

Is that the elbow? No, I think he punched him. I don't know if he elbowed him or punched. It's so hard to tell because it happens so fast. But it's like the dude's in his face. And this is a dude that this guy. Watch this. And he's got a drink in his hand.

Damn. Is it an elbow? Slow that down a little bit. That was right on the jaw. It either is a punch or an elbow. It's hard to say because it happens so fast. Yeah, it's an elbow. He dropped the drink.

What did he say to him? Nice elbow. I'm sure that was an elbow? He said he was going to fuck him up. Wow. He said he was going to slap him. I'll slap the shit out of you, something like that. Is that just cause?

Yeah, I thought he's the wrong guy to fuck with. Right. Like, Tiki's really good. Tiki Masala. He's big. He's big. He's big. He's big.

He'd be like, what are you going to do, pussy? Exactly. He's terrifying. And he's holding whiskey. Yeah. Well, that's probably why he didn't punch him. But he dropped it. He let it go.

Yeah. Oh, really? And elbows. Nice technique. One more time on that, Jambo. One more time. That was a hook. The kids were, like, really.

Well, the elbow's just as powerful, dude. That's what I mean, especially coming out of Tiki. So let's see what he says to him. He said a bunch of shit to him. I said straight up. Are you the guy that got slapped on video? I did, but I'll slap the shit out. You know.

I'm going to show you the inside of the house. I'll make you another clip. I don't do that. Seriously? I'll do that. Oh. Oh. There's you.

But some of these streamers, man, they make their whole fucking career out of doing stuff like that. Oh, he got up. Who's that guy? Wow, he got up? It's hard to say what's going on. Or is that the bouncer? It's hard to say what's happening. It is hard to say.

It's not him that got up. It's a girl or something. Well, I think he probably got up, too, because I see the black jacket. But it seems like he ran in there. That's him. Ran there after him and threw a couple punches at him. I mean, the fact that he took that is pretty impressive. I'd be done.

I would have gone. Night. Yeah, but you wouldn't have been there. I wouldn't have done that. You would have been going, I'll fucking knock you out. You didn't ever done that in the first way. The whole thing is crazy. I'd be like, hey, he was talking more show on the way up.

But there's so many of these guys that are picking fights. They're just doing anything they can to get attention to go viral. Damn. It's like a nightmare. Walking down the street and someone's like, what's up, bitch? Oh, boy. Well, I'm going to look like a pussy. I'm not going to do it.

I hate those. It's some guy with his girlfriend at Target, and they just start mocking him and mocking him and forcing his hand. And it sucks. Dude, I'm just trying to shop. I don't want to fight you. Who are you? That's how people get shot. Yeah.

For sure. Yeah, you do it in the wrong place. It's terrible. But it's just these kids today, like, there's so many of them that are just trying to get famous. Like, the number one thing the kids want today is to get famous. You know, they used to, like, do a list. What do you want to do when you get all up? What are your goals?

Like, a giant percentage of them are get famous. That's true. What's up with that clavicular homo? You know what I'm talking about? I think he's the opposite of a homo. Who? I think his whole thing is. looks maxing to get chicks.

That sounds gay to me. Looks maxing. What is looks maxing? Well, one of the things he does is apparently he hits his face with a hammer to put micro micro breaks in his face to make his jawless stronger. That's just trans. You're just man to man trans. There you go.

Oh, man to man trans. Yeah, you've just altered your looks to make yourself more of a gender. Yes. Interesting. Gender affirming. Yeah, it's fake tits then. Does that trans for girls? Yeah.

Let's do it. I like it. No, don't take fake tits. All right, leave fake tits, but you can't fucking make us, you can't be, it's gender affirming. If you're like, men look this way, then you're like, all right, so it's a separate, it's like you can be something you're not.

He gets laid, though. I'm sure. Oh, I'm sure he does a handsome fellow. He's very handsome. But he's like, apparently he does meth. Yeah, he talks about it because, like, he finds it better than Adderall for controlling his appetite. That'll do it.

Like, this is the thing. Like, they want to be lean as lean as possible. Yeah. You can't do meth, but. Kind of entertaining. It's interesting. How about just self-will? I don't...

This is when he overdosed the other day on stream. Overdose. It's easy. What do you overdose on? Which one is he? That guy? That's him. Yeah, he is handsome.

He's a longer clip of it. He's pretty handsome. So would he just fall apart? Oh, they took it off the camera. But yeah, he's just, like, falling down a cahill. He's about me. You know what? I actually saw this, and what was cool about it was how nice he was to everybody?

Oh. Like, even while he's, like, overdosing? He's overdosing. He's like, and people are coming up, can I get a picture? He's like, yeah, yeah. He was like he overdosed on Molly. He looks like he's having eight. Definitely Molly. Yeah, it could be Molly. That may be why he's so nice to everybody. Yeah, that's not a K-hole.

I bet in one of those. You don't smile. Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, shit. But is that overdosing or is he just on it? That's why the clips are going around saying overdosing. Chester maxing. It's for dorks. It's not overdosing. Chester maxing is so funny.

These terms. Look, he's like a boy band. Mocking and. The streamer, everything is toxic and dangerous. The streamer looks maxing culture is top. Culture. What is gooning? What is gooning?

Gooning is a thing. We've had this argument. What's gooning? It's jerking out. Masturbating to just really obsessing over anything. Okay. So like a stalker is gooning. Ooh, could be.

I don't know if you're getting that right. Double goon. It just means like you're obsessed over something, which is like masturbation all the time. And then it's become like obsession. but I think it stayed with masturbation It's definitely just masturbating It's basically just being as horny as you can fucking be And it's very funny

All right I'm gooved quite a bit in my day Yeah Oh yeah You're a gooner I'm a gooner Yeah All right

I'm just a beer sorry Can I get one of them beers Yeah it's beer time I feel like one of those Joe Rogan's back Yeah Eight months off the sauce Wow

moderation He went on a He went on a drinking A drinking withdrawal Until Trump said you could do mushrooms as well. And he goes, okay, fine, I'll drink. What was that like, beating the Oval off?

Pretty fucking strange. The whole thing was strange. How about sending him a text message, explaining everything to him, and him saying, let's do it. Wow. Dude, let's do it. And then the next day, he sees me. He keeps saying, yeah, let's do it.

He's getting texts from BB. He goes, yeah, fuck it. It always works out for me. Shut down the straight. He goes, he showed up at the UFC event. He shakes my hand. He goes, it's done. and then a week later we were in the White House

with all the vets, all those vets that had taken Ibegain and saved their life. You should have had, okay, it's missed opportunity. You should have had all those vets and then a couple like dreadlocked white guys who are also like, this is going to help me a lot too. This is going to fucking rule. I should have Duncan.

I should have Duncan. Duncan dressed like a shaman. Everyone's going to benefit from this. With what hat on like you're wearing. We should have wore that fucking hat. With a suit behind the present? Well, I had a suit jacket and everything. I was prepared, but it was in the other room, but he goes,

come on in the Oval Office. So he brought me in the Oval Office early. You were not wearing a suit? I didn't see it. I had a jacket. I didn't have a tie. I was going to wear a tie, but I hate ties. I said, let me just dress like I dress to the UFC.

Like that man's chain. So I wore my UFC fucking outfit. So you were like Zilinski in a track suit. No. I had a nice button up shirt, nice pair pants, nice dress shoes. I was respectable, but I just wasn't wearing a tie. But I did have a suit jacket, but it was in the other room. But he dragged me into the Oval Office.

Come over here. look at this it looks so beautiful now he's like showing me all the new gold work the oval office has like gold everywhere now it's like all gold leaf everywhere it's pretty impressive what is I am Persians him oh yeah he loves gold definitely not the Persians Ben Laden loved gold he loves it he like loves doing up the Oval Office Shane like yeah I took a tour yeah you and O'Connor wait what yeah we took a tour of the White House when two years ago no a year a year Biden years no no Trump years he wasn't there so we got in but they're like you can't go into the Oval Office and we're like

like craning our head in with like our feet just on the outside like hold my hand like in there saw the big Gulf of America oh this is back yeah he had literally just had a map next to his desk that says Gulf of America you're like it's a map of water especially because you're like walking through and you're like damn Lincoln there's a lot of these cool things and then you see Gulf of America next to the desk hey fuck what is that really gross bill that they just passed though what is that FISA bill that they just passed Jamie

Yeah, something just happened Where everyone's bad People are freaking the fuck out It's something It's something to do with them being able to look into all your private communications Without a warrant Oh, I don't like that Is there a new one?

Simone told me that every new car is going to have AI testing To see if you're drunk or not And then they also won't abuse it In 27 Bad news Wait, what was it? Look at you while you're driving To make sure that you're not hammered

Get video of you No more smoking joints in your car drive. Get an old car. That's what I got. Get an old Mustang. Is that a real thing? The Senate's likely to reject the House pass. Good. Thank God. We should force them to reject it. Jesus Christ, this is

crazy. Three-year extension of Section 702 of Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act that allows federal government to collect communications of non-citizens outside the U.S. though it's often includes communications with American citizens. But then if they suspect you of it, like

with Tucker, Tucker was communicating with Putin's to do an interview through signal. So they took as encoded... Wow. So it's all encrypted. They took as encrypted signal and they decrypted it. Someone who knows the stuff explained to me, said it cost about $600,000 to do that.

They said they can decrypt encrypted messages. They just have to get the data. So somehow know that they got the data off of his phone. They unencrypted it and then they contacted him and said, we know that you're meeting with Putin. He's like, how the fuck do you know? They're like, we read your signal. And he's like, what? But he's like, yeah, I mean, I am meeting with him doing interview.

I'm a journalist. Yeah, well, that was his position. But it was also his position that he's using an encrypted app. Like, they, unless they're suspecting him of a crime, they shouldn't be able to look at his encrypted messages. So, like, this idea that, you know, you're sending things on signal and no one could read them, I think that's bullshit. I think it's more difficult to read them. So local cops are not going to do it if you're just buying Molly. Right.

That's not worth 600 grand. Exactly. Right. Didn't Hegg Seth shit get leaked too on Signal? Remember that? Like a year ago? I think that was because those people accidentally included a journalist. So it was like a giant group of like 10 people or something like that.

And one of them was a fucking journalist, these knuckleheads. And the journalist just released all the text. So they were sending emojis after we bombed Iran. Here's a fun story today. Wait, that guy? Suicide note. Purportedly written by Jeffrey Epstein, weeks before his death in jail, has been kept secret for years, locked up in a courthouse.

That means investigators scrutinizing his death lacked what could have been a key piece of evidence. In the last hour, they're saying there's a note they found that. There's a brand new note for us. All of a sudden exists. They haven't shown it or said what it says. They're just, everyone's not reporting. Well, how about the fucking autopsy that says that his prostate was unremarkable? But meanwhile, he had his prostate removed.

Oh, boy. There's a lot of people that don't even believe he died. I think he's alive. I think they just face off him. and he's living a good life somewhere. You just think he changed him. Yeah, I think all the people that all go to that stuff, they're like, don't worry, if we kill you, then we're all worried about ourselves.

We're just going to relocate you. Israel. Israel, maybe. That's what I heard. From Metzger. From Metzger. It wouldn't be Israel. He'd live somewhere like...

Why wouldn't he live in Israel? That's a place where he's most protected. It'd be like Cambodia. No, they'll kill him in Cambodia. You've got to live in Israel. No, there's parents in Israel. Of who? People.

Yeah, but you know, that's like, the number one place where, like, sex offenders go from America? that are Jewish, that are in trouble? They'll take anybody in. I didn't know that. They take anybody in. Yeah, especially Jewish people. They'll just take you. Wow, Jews have had a run.

You had made off, Weinstein, Epstein. Thank you. Hell yeah, thank you. The other guy. Nice. Hell of a run. You guys are. Cosbyberg.

Yeah. Kind of proves Kanye's point a little bit. I don't love the, the Kimmel shit is annoying. Like, the fighting with Kimmel over the jokes. You're like, come on, man. I mean, here's the thing about that joke. Adam Crowler had a really good point. He said that joke, he said that joke on a Thursday.

On Friday, nobody gave a shit. Who? Who? What? Kimmel. He said a joke about Melania. He made his own mock White House press correspondence dinner. Right. And he said Melania has the glow of a woman who's recently widowed.

Okay. That's it. It's an old guy joke. Like he's going to die. Yeah. It could be. Or an assassination joke if you want to take it that way. But he is old.

Wait, after the attempt? No, before. So it's on Thursday. And this is Corolla. point that's a really good point he said no one gave a shit on Friday it came out on Thursday no one cared on Friday no one cared on Saturday until Saturday night when the assassination attempt and then all sudden everyone's blaming Kimmel it's so funny that the right wing turned into the same fucking pussy faggots of the left wing are it's the same shit it is the same

shit it's human behavior patterns you could call them left or right I mean this is why the left supports war in Ukraine it's like the why the left support censorship it's like the same patterns it's control control in power. You want your side to win. Yeah, 100%. That's where they found the note. Where? Nicholas Tartagallione found it.

Oh. Who's that? Who was that? The fucking super jacked. Oh. Contract killer cellmate that he had. You know that story? No.

His cellmate was a fucking super jack cop who killed drug dealers. Yeah, dude was a gorilla. I mean, show a already a picture of the guy. Tartaglione is this fucking huge, evil corrupt cop. Yeah, super guinea. He's like a roided up guinea Damn

Get a images I'd like to see this cat Look at it Damn Bro Imagine that guy's your fucking cellmate Jesus And he's killed four guys

Four drug dealers What's he in jail for? Murder Oh Quadruple slang He's in there for fucking dogs No No

Dogs are a lot of dogs Look at the picture Dogs He's like cute dogs Cute little dogies He's a pretty good guy He's a pretty good guy He's ripped

Murder in people and then they put him in the sale with Epstein and then he said Epstein tried to kill him 18 days before he died he complained, excuse me, he said Tartaglione tried to kill Epstein. Epstein complained, the cellmate tried to kill him, yeah. We tried

to strangle him to death. Whoa. And he found him, they found him unconscious and unresponsive. Crob McRod to break out of it. Rob McGraw, however you say it. Whatever they do. CROV McGah. Crob Maga.

Yeah. Crob Maga. That whole episode thing is so crazy That no one's got to jail for that It's pretty surprising that they're still not releasing it Here's just crazy No arrests No no no

No one's like being brought in Meanwhile Comey is getting arrested For a photo of seashells that say 8647 He's getting arrested for that Yeah He's getting charged What's 86 47? 86 get rid of

President 47 But you could say kill But 86 is If you get fired What happened a Mike? He got 86th. Right. It doesn't mean you get killed.

But this is a crazy thing to arrest someone for. Of course. FBI, arrested in Virginia, appears briefly in court. Well, they already, like, had it out for him. I know, but that's a crazy. This is, the problem with these guys is it sets a crazy precedent. Yeah. That's the precedent.

That's already, that's the worst. Like, that's crazy. That's crazy. FBI director is like, oh, you went after me? Well, now we're going after you for nothing. It doesn't matter. It's nuts. It's nuts. Like, you're going after someone for something that's just silly. It's all so crooked is get rid of 47. Right. Free speech. But it's just like arresting a guy for that is nuts.

Comey don't play that. Yeah. I mean, it's one thing like if you have like a photo of him, like an AI, you post AI photo of him dead, you know, with bullet holes in him like, wouldn't that be nice? Yeah, but also. But even that. Even that's okay. Well, the Secret Service would visit you. Not as an FBI director. Right, but he's a former FBI director, so he's a private citizen at that point. He'd already left the office. It's crazy. Trump can take a shot, but not a joke. It's just retaliation for going after Trump?

Well, it is, but it's like they're just looking for any reason, but it just doesn't seem, it seems like there should be other reasons. Like, if the guy really was dirty, you should have something on him other than this seashell picture. Yeah, it's not. He just hates him and he's using that. I know, but it's such a abuse of power. This was my thing when people weren't upset about ice people in the street. with masks on and no identification. I'm like, this sets a crazy precedent.

Yeah, I understand you want the undocumented criminals out of the country. I agree. However, you're setting a precedent for militarized people with seven weeks training to be walking around with fucking weapons of war and flack jackets with no ID and masks on. That's all I'm saying. Like, this is a slippery fucking slope you're going down. Yeah, it's no bueno. But then also, they wouldn't have to be there like that if there wasn't these,

or there wouldn't be any conflict there wasn't organized paid for protests they paid people to protest they paid people because they had the fucking all that fraud in minnesota yeah but the reason why i was in minneapolis why the fucking the protests were strongest in minneapolis and organized because that's where all the fraud was that's where all the people were getting caught so they said let's diffuse this and mike ben's but it's not it's not you don't just give randos guns and go all right they went over they overstepped so here you seven weeks training go ahead go not just give rando's guns they're not just give randos guns they're They gave him a $50,000 signing bonus.

So, yeah, you get a $50,000 signing bonus. And by the way, a lot of them are Mexican. A lot of them are Mexican. Including the two guys that shot that dude in Minneapolis, both Mexicans. Go to make my nuts. Excuse me, Hispanic, Latino, had Latin names. Oh, interesting. I was at the airport in Philly, and an ICE agent was like,

yo, my man, what's up? And I was like, yo, children. The fuck, don't ask me for. A picture. Do you see that Trump renamed it instead of ice? Now it's nice. I saw that. It's nice now instead of ice.

So now you're protesting nice. It's national. Immigrations, customs, enforcement. He's done it again. That reminds us. Our leader. That's funny. He's a wild boy.

Still funny. It is funny. Calling it nice. Is you thinking about to go off? Is that where you're stopping it? Just realized I left my kid in a Somali daycare. I've got to go pick him up. He'll be fine.

What happened on ice while I was gone? Do they go nuts? No Well You don't know about Alex Freddie You know what that's true Good for you Boy you've been gone huh

Kill two citizens Well there's one lady that got killed in a car Because she was They were trying to tell her to stay put She was protesting and fucking with them And then she drove When the cop tried to step in front of her car She's clearly turning her wheel

Away from him She's not trying to run him over And he just Who a cop or ice? Ice guys Yeah And he said fucking bitch An American born citizen

Oh yeah Yeah A crazy lady Who kind of anyone But yes Lesbian Allegedly Well the girlfriend was there

Did you believe in them though for real Oh yeah She looked like a lesbian You don't think No they seemed legit Yeah she had a kid She looked like Brock Lesner She's a newly lesbian

Lady Okay Newly lesbian What was the backlash on that It was pretty bad Yeah pretty bad Yeah pretty bad backlash And then this out's pretty guy

Was that Did they manage that one? The Alex Pretty guy was after that. The Alex Pretty guy was carrying a gun. And so he was open carrying or concealed carrying and like physically pushing cops. Like it was

kind of crazy. And then they tackle him. They found out he's a gun. This is where it gets crazy. One of the Border Protection's agents grabs the gun and is taking it away and unfortunately the gun accidentally goes off. The gun that he was carrying is called a Sig P320 and it's notorious for accident

discharges. So this is confusing because it's hard to tell because the video's a little grainy, but most people who are experts look at it say that, at least the videos that I've watched, say that that gun accidentally went off without the guy touching the trigger. But also the cop has the gun. The cop's moving away with the gun. They say he has a gun. Cop are the ice people. The cops say it's border protections. It's not even ice. It's a different organization. So the border protections guys are moving away. way with the gun, the gun goes off, and these guys think the guy has another gun, and then they start shooting them.

And they shoot them and kill them while they have them down. It's a rough video. This is all my interpretation based on videos. I might not be accurate. But I've seen the video. It does look like the slide moves. It does look like the sound of a gun going off corresponds with that slide moving. And that gun is notorious.

Like if you look up SIGP 320 online, accidental discharge, you'll see tons of videos of these guns. accidentally go off. Hey, I haven't had one of those a long time. I used to have the one of my kids. Wet dreams? Not a long time. You wake up.

Yeah, been there. That's my accidental. That's a fucking sig, sorry. I got too excited. Let's talk for 20 minutes. Let's get back to it in a second. Yeah, so you missed all the fun. Good for you.

But it's like the only reason why there were violent people in the streets protesting is because it was an organized, paid for protest. They actually physically paid people to be there in protest. They gave them signs. How do you get on that list to get paid for that? You got to get on some wacky left-wing newsletter. I don't know. Still, like, yeah, you don't just put random people in charge of people.

Well, I mean, you do have to get rid of all the cartel members and all the criminals that came across the border. I mean, they let more than 10 million people into the country over four years. America is a great way of, like, overreacting to stuff. They're like, oh, Saddam Hussein's a problem. Let's go in there and kill a million people. Yeah, America does that. Yeah, we're like not the best people to handle stuff and we're like still like, we should handle it. You know who else does that?

Who? Israel. Blame everything on Israel. I'm not blaming everything. Yeah. They're a part of it. It is amazing how many high profile Jewish people just, they have an opinion about everything. But when it gets to this, like, avoid that or come up with some random way to justify it.

annihilating an entire city. Yeah. It's just funny to me when Americans are like, hey, there's other countries overstepping. Yeah, we bombed in a band twice. Yeah, we were pretty brutal. Afghanistan Iraq. Those fuckers had it really come up there.

They were Jews. The second one was just going, hey, check this out, Russia. I guess so. But yeah, whatever. Well, that was a long time ago. That's true. Everybody did that's dead. But based on today,

Oe. Oe. Oe vee. Yeah. It's a lot. Like Lebanon? Bro, what they're doing in Lebanon right now? It's crazy.

Well, they're looking for Hezbollah. They've got to look under Rubble. Mm, Barney Rubble. One more time with that later there. What else we got? Thank you. There we go. It's a wild time to be alive, kids.

It's wild. At least we're going to have drugs soon. That's pretty nice. Well, at least all those people that are hooked on pills are going to get off of them. A lot of them are at least. It's going to at least give them something that works. How can we get it? How can we can't get free hands?

health care. Yeah, right? Why don't we do that? I'm paying out the ass. Why can't we do that? I bet if they took all the money from fraud, it would pay for health care 10 times. Or Ukraine or Israel. Oh yeah. Why not? Right. Well, that's what's annoying. All these policies are like, if we get this much money, we can cure this. I'm like, you have

all this money. What do you do? I think 100% free health care would be an awesome thing. But you also want doctors to be incentivized to be really good at their jobs. For sure, but so you want like Dr. Gettleman, the guy that did your knee and did my knee, he's a bad Why can we have universal health care and private doctors?

Yes, we should be able to have both of those things Like public school and private school Yeah Right, public defenders You're allowed to have a public defender Dude, the ease at which I got treated In third world countries was like Really?

Yeah, you just go in Yeah, you go to pharmacy See somebody like here's your pills you need Here's your drops you need Isn't it dirty needles and weird equipment over there? No Really? Harvard trained doctors

Come on! Yeah, there's just no upsell for Universal Health Care System in America would cost approximately 3.0 to 3.2 trillion annually. Oh. That's a lot. Which is actually less than the current system that costs around 5.3 trillion per year. So we're talking about a savings of almost 50%. Why don't we get free health care? So savings of 450 billion annually while providing coverage to all Americans, according to

perplexity, our AI sponsor, which is never wrong. The United States currently spends about $5.3 trillion in health care, 15,000, 4,7,000. $74 per person as of 2024. Even when something goes wrong and you have insurance, it's not paid for. You've got to spend $5 grand to get anesthesia and then another $5 grand to go downstairs for the surgery.

So what do you think is the problem? What is it causing it? I would imagine the insurance company. I'm trying to make your president. Oh, thanks. It's insurance companies. Imagine a Jew president? When I read a Jew? I got my teeth checked in Ecuador and they were like, you have impacted gums. I was like, all right, I was about to go home in a week.

I was like, when I go home, I'll fix it. And they're like, are you nuts? Do it. People fly here to get that surgery. Because it's so much cheaper. Flight, hotels, all that is much cheaper than doing it there. Yeah. And they're like, we have a surgeon and I was like, is he like trained?

And they're like, yeah, he went to Yale medical school. Dude shows up sacrifices. Yeah. Oh, shabop. Well, this is what I clipped Bernie because he was trying to do this. So they got rid of him. That was one thing he was trying to do. It kind of blows.

It's embarrassing. All right. Let's put him this. How much would it cost if, you? school, like higher education was free. Oh, that's too much money in that. They won't do it. Well, that's the same exact thing with health care.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a fortune. We're making too much so. It's all. And it's gone up. It's the same reason we're doing wars. Yeah. Money? Just to make money. Of course. There's nothing else. Not even just oil, but defense contracts, they need they're raking it in. I mean, the war has already cost

how much? Let's find out that. How much is the war? Let's just say, how much is the war? Let's just look at how much Iran has cost us. There we go. That's what I mean. Wait a shake a guess. Let's do bets. Shut down the fucking straight. Right. But I mean just us spending money to bomb Iran. Just that. The simplest lowest run, lowest run, without

the economic impact, the oil impact. What about the Hormuz and all that? Well, that's a factor, but let's just find out how much the raw money spent on the bombs. 25 billion. 25 billion. That's dropping the bucket. 60 days into the war. How much is Ukraine? That's a lot more.

So what concerns me, not to, well, all of it concerns me. One of the things that someone told me was that we've kind of depleted our weapon supplies. Because we don't have that many of those fucking missiles. We don't know it. Well, we gave them all to Ukraine. We bought Israel and then we gave them all. Now we're fucking using them. That Zelensky's a mooch.

He just keeps one more. I don't think it's. Oh, you think it's his? No, I think it's. Adasania? It's us. It's us. It's the U.S.

It's money. But it's all together. It's all a big scam, Ponzi scheme. Everybody's making money. You should get Trump on here. We're doing great. Don't let anybody lie to you. Maybe next time we schmooze them into free health care.

Maybe next time we smooze them into protect our parks. Yeah. The guy's dropping in here. Oh, brother. Come on, dog. It's crazy, too, because I've gotten, there was a pill I had to get, like, three of when I went to Asia or something. And it was like, I got two here. They cost me, like, 400 each.

And then the same, it's the same drug. In Myanmar, it's like $40. Well, that's one thing that he has fixed. One thing that Trump is working on is making whatever the low prices internationally, the price of people pay in America. And he told him, he's fucking hilarious. He was telling us to, I've got a friend. I don't want to say his name. Very successful.

He's a big guy. He took the fat pill. It didn't work. But he was going on about how his friend went overseas. He forgot his fat pill. He went overseas, and he was in Europe, and he got it for like a hundred bucks. Yeah. And he's like, this is like $1,300 in America.

It's crazy. It's not right. It's not right. And so he made it so that whatever the low cost is in these other countries, that's the low cost in America. That's what it costs here now. Is that right? Yes.

That's good. Everybody's on it. It's like you're not going to get all good. Any drug. You know, you're not going to get all good with any president either. You know, you're going to get a lot of bad shit because all these people are surrounded by demons. They're surrounded by war hawks and demons and defense contractors and scam artists and the

pharmaceutical industry, there's all these fucking people that are trying to make sure that they can make the most amount of money possible. Just all coke snort and demons, allegedly. I was watching this documentary on The Homeless here in Austin, and they're talking about how, like, I was on schizophrenia medicine. I can't afford it anymore. And they're out there just sprinting around. What happens if you take schizophrenia medicine or you don't have schizophrenia? Ooh, that's a fun night. I think I did that.

A couple shots. I think I took some antipsychotics and stuff. slept for four days. Huge mistake. It helps you. It's an expired fucking antipsychotic. He was like, you're going to take this. Does he take it?

I don't know if he takes it. It was expired, so I guess not. Jesus Christ. Yeah, but expired medication, I was just reading this thing about that. Like most expired medication is actually still usable, like, up to 300% longer than they say it? Yeah, it's like a little bit less effective, but still good. Yeah.

Yeah, but I don't even know if it's less effective. This thing was saying that it's 100% effective for a long period of time after the expiration date. I don't know why they have an expiration date. It's not like milk. Right. Yeah, the healthcare thing is really embarrassing, to be honest. It's really embarrassing.

It's a really embarrassing and some free health care for these fellows outside. I don't know how to, obviously, no one knows how to figure out of it. And we got to do something. A giant percentage of those people are addicted to drugs, right? A giant percent fentanyl zombies. You need Ibogame for all those people, mental health facilities. You need to get them on whatever medication to fix their schizophrenia. And it's also, it's not even like a fucking goodwill thing.

And also like, we need to fucking break in their cars. Self safety. Yeah. It's for everybody. So what are we doing, why, whatever. Skid Row, Los Angeles. What's the fucking hold up? Skid Row in Los Angeles is 50 blocks.

50 blocks. The last time I looked, it said American health care, Americans pay more than two times the next country for healthcare, and we get the 17th best coverage. And we're the sickest. We're the sickest. Yeah. It's nuts. We spend the most money. I was just in Toronto.

clean. Yeah, you just go right to a dock. Even just driving around, I was like, this is crazy. How are we getting, why is America dog shit? And our shit is locked up at the CVS. They don't have that. Everybody's stealing. Well, there's a lot of stealing. It hurts me and Mark the most. Yeah, yeah, I love to steal.

Yeah, you steal. Yeah, you're locking it up. You're not going to call it. You got to do this before you're about to steal. I got a problem. Just did like airports and stuff. A little shop. No, movie theaters. You do it everywhere. Come on, don't sell yourself short. They're watching now. You steal it.

I'll steal a food. Just for a thrill? A little bit of a thrill. Can I get the Winona Ryder thing? It's cheaper, too. Yeah, it's cheaper. The last time I saw Mark Steele, we're in a movie theater, and I got some popcorn. I'm sure it's closed by now.

And then the lady turned around got my popcorn, and then he just had beef jerky in the movie. Yeah, they were selling it. How did you get that? He goes, most expensive item, I just reached for it. Yeah. Oh, boy. They're chislinists, too. They up the prices.

They up the prices. I mean, you get a Hudson News. Cliff bar, it's eight bucks. Not on my watch. It's ridiculous. Not on my watch. Once you're on the plane, you're home free, you know? You're raising the cost for the rest of us. Yeah, you are. You're stealing these goddamn cliff bars.

They put that in. They factor the theft in. You're a successful person. That's outrageous. Habits die hard. Yeah, you don't. No one's going to be sympathetic towards you. You have money. I'm not asking you to. I'm just saying it's a fun ride. I don't want it. The beef turkey tastes better when it's stolen?

Easy. Everything tastes better when it's stolen. It's so weird. Diaz one time at the, At the airport, he just comes off from one of those bodegas, and he comes on, he just shows me tic-tacks. And he was like, what is that for? He goes, yeah, right? I got some. And they just threw in the garbage.

Wow. And I was like, what are you doing? I was trying to stay sharp. That's a ball and he rattles. That's a hard steel. That's a hard steel. That's right. Chiffhars is quiet.

Just staying sharp is hilarious. I didn't want it. I don't throw it out. I don't throw it out. I don't throw it out. Yeah, yeah. Joey's going in for surgery today. Uh-oh.

Nice. It's neat. He's getting some. He's getting canons. He's getting a canon, Canon reduction surgery. He's getting top surgery. He's getting his tits removed.

He's getting that big scar. But him shirtless is rough. How many times do you've seen it? Just once and it's burned in. I've seen it. He's going to karate. Oh, yeah, everybody's seen it. Yeah, Joe karate is great.

That fucking guy's such an animal. He's a fun guy. He's too high kicks and he's got his leg up to him at his knee height. It's pretty good, dude. Yeah. Is he around? Did he move here yet? No, but he's coming back and forth all the time.

There he is. Joey. Oh, look at that thing. That looks like a-I. That's crazy. Jesus. How's he alive? Without context of a background, it's wild.

Wow. That belly is crazy. You've got to have a decent hog if you're going to have that gut. Oh, he's got a hell of hog. Is he grubbing or boozing? What is that? Food. Food.

He's grubbing? Oh, yeah. Joey can't stop eating. He doesn't really drink. He doesn't drink at all. I go to eat with Joey. It's a scene. It's a fun time.

He loves it. Oh, that poor ghee. He goes off. He eats. He eats. He fucking loves food. But he's just... Oh, we got to.

You're the Chinese place by my place. You've got to come. He's the most fun human. It sucks. He's the most fun human that's ever existed. Yeah. No one's more fun. It's a good egg.

He's barely a real person. It's a human cartoon. He's so funny. So he's still getting up on stage. He's still doing sets. Oh, he killed. He killed. He was here.

He did an hour. Oh, wow. Yeah, he's got all these great. stories it's really really good really well done all right is the man good to have them back that's the thing about comedy we're kind of losing the uh the wildness you know when I when I started comedy it was like Geraldo and all these guys are all dead now drugs I think it's kind of coming back now though I think it's coming back because TV's going away so it's like it gets down to the root of what is really effective in comedy it's wildness is more effective

it's more fun if you're sitting there drunk in a crowd and some dudes on going off saying crazy shit. It's more fun. Yeah, because you live through them. But I don't know if that's actually here. There's a lot of fucking guys with jobs. Sober, a lot of sobriety. Got to get up early for a podcast tomorrow.

These young guys aren't like that. A lot of these young guys coming up are doing drugs. They're doing clips. Oh, good. Well, they're doing clips, but they're still wild boys. Some people are still giving it, bringing it. You hope so. Well, even back then.

Late night of the cell used to be so much fun. I know. When Macie was drinking, when it was just a drinking crowd. It was a lot of, let's go. A lot of whiskey. There's that here. Here. Here, for sure.

Yeah, here for sure. Last night was nice. We did it last night. Yeah. Oh, what happened? What I missed? We just had a couple drinks. Just some bros being bros.

I was begging him to, I've changed my new peer pressure method. He's like, oh, come on a drink. I'm like, no, I got to get up early tomorrow. I'm like, dude, I'm like, oh, you're going to call me gay. No. Bro, I've been gone. I've had time to room me down this. You can peer.

You can peer. You can peer pressure. Yeah. No, I'm just saying like, I want to drink and I won't be alone if you're a friend. No, I was like, you were such a homo. I was like, tomorrow's going to be tough for me. I'd like it to be tough for somebody else. Do me a favor.

Chug that fucking drink. Beer one. He always comes in. He has no idea what your count is. He just comes in, he goes, you can do more. I'm like, I could have done one or seven and you would have no clue. DeRos. You got to go more.

DeRose is up there, too. He's the number one. He's like, dude, do a shot. It's my birthday month. Yes. Yes. He's like a chick. He's the biggest pig in comedy.

He is a pig, dude. I hate him. He'll pour shots in your mouth. He doesn't care. He'll tilt your hand. He'll also go like, come on, don't be a pussy. Do a shot. And then you do.

And then 10 minutes later, he's gone, and he's at KFC. He's so funny. He shits on weed people, too. I know. He hates weed. It's so weird. He's classic drinker. I'm with him, dude.

He's classic drinker. I think he was just around a lot of, all the New York comics got sober and then just smoked weed constantly. Got born. And then they're like, oh, you're drinking again. It's like, dude, you haven't had a thought in fucking seven years. So we can't fucking talk about it. Right, it's all munchies.

Yeah, this is something, I mean, everything could be abused. There's only a couple people in comedy that do weed, like, real good, like, soda, soda, Jay. Sure. They're like, they're just the same. Gomez. Chappelle. Chappelle.

Because, yes, most people go in on weed. Freeze a lot. They still are out and fun. Right. Yeah. It's a personality thing. Totally. They're still active.

It's also, I think it's a biological thing because I think it affects people very differently. Definitely. Can you get high when you smoke? Yeah, Jamie gets high for smokes. Okay, cool. Edibles just don't work on the kid. That's wild.

Young Jamie shrugs him off. That's crazy. You try to dose him up, he'll smile right in your face. Jamie, I'd like you to have a brusky. What's going on here? It'd be nice. We talked about this earlier, and I'd love for you to get involved today. You talked at me.

I didn't really have. Uh-oh. Put on the beer. Put on the beer. All of a sudden, I'm talking. Well, it worked. He's drinking. He said something nasty, and that's fine.

What is he said? You talked at me. I'm trying to include you and have it. Let's have fun. Jamo's a sassy bitch. He's just being, he's just clarifying. He's an assassinate. He's an assessing.

I didn't talk at you. How did I talk at you? Well, you said it was a discussion. I mean, it was one of the night. And then I said, let's go watch Sixers Celtics. Let's have a couple beers. That's a great night. Go to a bar and watch the Celtics.

Hell yeah. Beer pressure. Fun times. Fun times. You can upload it with a podcast. Four beers. You're Pierce Morgan. Yeah.

Leave it till Monday. We don't care. When are you getting that car? Tomorrow. A tree fell on his car. Yeah. That's crazy? Really?

From what? The winds here? They're doing some fucking roadwork right in front of my house. The vibraeatians. Oh, they're building seven, your car? You got second towered? Wow. I really did.

Also, the house I live in, I'm renting this house. It's like one of those new, like, prefab. fucking or whatever those things are these new Austin houses, which are all the exact same, which I kind of don't fucking like it all. It's not a home. Is that the same one you've been in? Yeah, it's like a 15 foot ceiling for no reason. It's one floor. It looks,

it has this type of wall that's like just standard. It's a beautiful house. It is very nice. And the last house I was in was a fucking Queen's apartment. Right. That had more soul than this place. More soul for sure. But when I first walked into the house I'm in now, I was like, holy

fuck. This is incredible. Yeah. It's just not a home. It's just not a fucking piece of shit house. It looks like a house from a porn. It's an Airbnb. It is too new. It is an Airbnb. It is weird how money changes you.

Yeah. Like it changes what you're accustomed to. Mm-hmm. You get a little accustomed to the nice things. I was thinking about this. Yeah, you get accustomed to nice things, but I keep trying the change. And I'm just not really changing. What do you mean? Well, as a human?

Yeah. The cement is dry. You're always going to be Mechanicsburg. Yeah, it's Mechanicsburg. It's like all of a sudden I realized I'm just getting drunk at high. higher places. Right. Like I'm just in a taller building getting drunk. Yeah, with more expensive beer. The exact same. This is everybody at Deep Creek. It's the same beer, but the price is going to go up. Everybody at Deep Creek was like poor white trash in like Maryland and then they

like got rich and like when they were poor like we can just barely afford one bud light and now they're rich like 10 bud lights. Deep Creek Lake is where pontooners go to party. Yeah. Where's that? It's like deep almost by West Virginia. Manmade giant lake. It rules. Same with the New Orleans. We'd go out to the Boguchita and tube all day. Remember tubing? Did you sit on a river with a beer and a circle? If you got a piss, you just jumped down, walk along with it.

Yeah, you just pee on the water. I think it's good that you're not changing. It's a good sign. It'd be nice if I could. Nah. No. I mean, you change a little. You got some good stuff going on. It would ruin you.

Literally, if you said this to Shane yesterday, if you go, you've changed. He'd be like, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Well, it's just wrong. And I go, goddamn, I wish I could. He dressed the same. But you're not going to stay in a holiday express. Sure. You've handled...

You've handled fame very well. Shane, you've handled it pretty well. You haven't gotten weird at all. Some people get weird just from the pressure of it. Almost everybody. Yeah. Almost everybody. 98% get, like, different.

I'm thinking of eight comics in my head right now who have gone full diva. Yeah, they get weird. It's very strange. Shane, I know you have not changed. Oh, the bottom? You've changed, bro. You've changed, bro. What the fuck.

Wait, you're 40-motherfucker? Who went for Israel? Now, this is... That's a change. Some people like the aluminum taste. Bottle beer taste in a can. It was a commercial I remember when I was little. What?

It was some out, some beer, and they go bottle beer taste in a can. I was like, is bottle beer better? Way better. Like the aluminum flavor. Yeah. I like, give me a glass bottle bottle lot. What's this? Bottle beats in a can.

That's what it was? That's a shitty beer. In a can. What? My memory served? Bad beer. Cross those keystones. This is a commercial of 1948.

That's what I remember. Look how great it is. I remember Israel got independence and I was watching this commercial. You guys, have you guys watched the Hogan Dock? It's good. It's good. Really? It's so good.

When he's getting sued for taking down Bellzer, he rules. And he's like, I was making $3,500 a month. And I'm getting sued for $500,000. I was famous, but not rich. And they're like, where we're going to do? Oh, he rules. I didn't even know he got sued for that.

To go into MSG, I mean, he choked the guy unconscious. And he then dropped him. He dropped him. He was bleeding. Bloods away away. Yeah. He did, he could have, I mean, John Jones used to do this all the time, but at least it was soft mat. This was like hard floor and he just, just like, threw him.

Yeah, but John Jones was doing a UFC fight against a Yodo Machita. Someone who agreed. He does it. And then he, if he just laid him down, he'd be like point proven. Right. But he had to bring it. He's on TV. He couldn't have that.

Drunk and on steroids and on Coke. Someone's like, yo, your shit's fake You know, dude, all right. Is that what Belzer said? It's so funny to him because he's like, pull it up. Oh, you think I'm fake? Is that fake? You're like, no, but you don't do that when I'm talking? It is fake.

Do you remember what John Stossel confronted that wrestler backstage? Yeah, it was great. And the wrestler just bitch slapped him a bunch of times, slapped the fuck out of him. I think that ruined that guy's career, though. Stossel or the wrestler? The wrestler. I never heard of this. I don't know.

I think who was the wrestler. Stossel's still around. Stossel still around, but I think it ruined the wrestler's career. Whoa. Because he beat the fuck out of him. He looks like, I feel like in my head he looks like Sid Vicious or D.D.B. Well, he's a giant dude. And he bitch slapped him open palm to the ear, which could definitely make you go deaf.

But I mean, if you told BJ Penn in his prime or anybody, like, I think what you do is fake, they'd be like, it's not. John Stosser was slapped twice by WWF wrestle, Dr. D. David Schultz backstage Madison Square Garden after call him pro wrestling fake during a 2020 ex-posay. Incident left Stossel with pain and ringing in his ears, leading to a lawsuit. against WWF. Jewish wrestler. You think he made money? All right, he just slip right out. Holy shit.

I was like that. At least he's not pissing in a kombucha jar. He probably is. Give it an hour. Here it is. So he's grabbing him. He gets him in this sleeper hold and he slumps and then he just drops them.

Head hit the floor hard. How professional is he though when he gets up? This incident is from a 1985 episode of... What the fuck? So Bellzer was talking shit saying it was fake. Great host though. He pops right up and goes to commercial.

All right. Yeah. Heads bleeding and everything. That is crazy. Oh, wow. Look at the blood on the back of his head. It's spurting out on his jacket. Look at that.

What a pro. Yeah, that is. Chris Rock could have learned a thing. Quite professional. He seems happy. Look at Mr. T. He doesn't see him upset at all. And then he sued. Yep.

But he got to be a pro. I guess so. You got to be, you know. I mean, his head looked like Kennedy. $400,000. settlement. Famously used the money to buy a home in France. Jokily named it Shez-Hohen. That's fun. He bought a house in France.

He lived in France for a while. The bells are a Jew? He's had to be. Yeah. Got a lawsuit for that. Litigious. Yeah. He didn't use to pay medical bills. He bought a house. That means that's a bonus. In France. It's a Jew move. And I think he was still doing that law and order show and just flying

back and forth to France. It's the funniest thing because I saw him in like early, early like doing those late night shows, you know, as a kid. And it was like, oh, that's a comedian. And then he's done, a lot of comics have this trajectory. Do nothing comedic. Yep, TV. It's like comedic, coded, serious.

Well, he was a comic. He did a lot of comedy. I saw him do stand-up in Boston in the 80s. In the 80s. And then it became like just serious, just the funny guy in serious roles. And not even that funny. No.

And then drop stand-up. Well, I think it's just money and ease. It's so easy. It's that velvet prison. They start giving you money. You start showing up. You're done. Craft service, you're eating.

Stand up as a blue-collar job. Also, his co-worker is a guy who made a song called Cop Killer. He's like, I'm rich. I'm rich. We're both rich. Don't even worry about who we used to be. Yeah. That's interesting.

Not Chris Maloney. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so eventually they go, I'm just not that guy. I'm not 25 anymore. I know, but I mean, it's still, like, Carlin did it until he died. Yeah, Rickles. Yeah, Rickles. Jone.

No, Rivers. But Carlin was, like, anti-establishment, never changed who he was. That was what Belzer was beginning in the early days. He was kind of a common guy. He was a very conspiracy theory. He wrote a book on Elvis, Bigfoot, and Flying Saucers, I think it was the book. I read it back in the day. It's a conspiracy theory book by Belzer.

You have five different conspiracy book. What the fuck? UFOs, JFKs and Elvis, conspiracies you don't have to be crazy to believe. Wow. Dead wrong, straight facts in the country's most controversial coverups, hit list an in-depth investigation to mysterious deaths of witnesses, the JFK assassination. Wow. He's ahead of his time.

with that shit yeah he's he was an interesting guy Juanaan very interesting guy wow he people loved him he was a respected comedian he was a crowdwork guy he was he was the host he was always the host yeah he was the crowdwork for us I know for five years oh wow really crowd warm up back in the day he was you know like a comics comic yeah but there was a bunch of those like Leno was the comics comic totally back in the day when I started they were like the second best guy they also prior but like the second best comic who's that going to be

and a lot of people were like it was Leno I'm like Isn't that nuts? Yeah what? What? Great comics. Apparently in the 70 he was a fucking animal. That's what I hear. Like you get that for a reason. Yeah. You get, you don't, just some open mic or who gets a Tonight Show. Yeah, but it's that thing. The Tonight Show was just the golden thing. Oh, boy. Not the fucking eagle.

And he's got glasses on now. Eagles. The 70s was like the golden era for those kind of comics. Oh, yeah. I mean, you had, Carlin, he got, I think, four heart attacks from Coke. Oh, really? Something like that, yeah.

Maybe Pryor was four and he was three, but they were both up there. Jesus Christ. I didn't know Carlin had that many heart attacks. I mean, give it a goo, good, J-M-O. I could be. How many heart attacks did Carl? He had three heart attacks from cocaine. Yeah.

We also had a pill problem for a while. Yeah. He had to get off pills. This was like later in his life. Right. Like, late in his life, he was hooked on the pills. Oh, yeah. Carlin.

Yeah. late in his life. Big drug guy. Deep into his 60s and 70s. He was the coolest of all the old, amazing guys I met. She was up there for sure. But, like, I had to go get him a sandwich. Really?

You wait, what? He did, like, a month at the store. Shut up. Yeah, a month of main room shows. Oh, yeah. What year? 2000s? 2000s.

Wow. And I got him a greenblatt sandwich. I go, here you go. He gave me 20 bucks. I was like, oh, no, man, they covered it. He goes, I know. It's for you. I was like, all right.

Sorry, Mr. Carlin. I go, don't call me that. Yeah, he was cool. George. He was very unassuming. He was hanging out in the back area by the parking lot. He would also sit in the back in Mitzie's chair. You know, and if you did well, he stayed open mic sometimes.

But only if you did well, he'd be like, good job, man. Wow. And then other people didn't, and he'd be like, hi. Yeah. Wow, he zing me pretty good once. Yeah, he was a real comic. I did a book signing because he had all those books, and I brought like four books to meet him at borders on Wall Street. And I waited in line, and all these people are going like, I love you in Jersey Girl.

I love you and Bill and Ted's. I was like, ah, these people don't know comedy. So I went up and I was like, I love this special, back in town, amazing, whatever. And he goes, what do you do? I go, I'm a comedy. He goes, yeah, you got a real talent for jacking around. That's what he said. Jacking around.

I don't even know what that means. What is jacking around me? He seemed like he hated me. You got a real talent for jacking around. You sound like a comic. I go, oh, yeah, he goes, yeah, you got a real talent for jacking around. Jacking around. I don't know what that means, but I'll take it.

Seventies lingo. Yeah. I mean, he was around the day when Lenny Bruce was around. Oh, yeah, he got arrested at his show. Did he really? He got arrested with Lenny Bruce? Yeah, they were in the same cop car. Really?

That was his hero. Carla came into shoplift. What? Delete that, Jamie. No. Jamie. Jamie, delete that, please. That was a dry bomb.

I didn't catch it. We didn't even know it was a joke. We didn't even know you were joking. We all tried to sort it out. Like, what is my messing up? What does he mean by that? Leave it to Israel a bomb. Those guys paved the fucking road

Getting arrested for jokes Forget a heckler Or some blogger Going to jail Ruin Lenny Bruce's life At the end of his life He was just reading off court transcripts on stage And the people get so bummed out

They're like, hey, tell some jokes Yeah, like we're here for you to do the thing There's video of it I bought video back in the day VHS tapes of his recordings And one of the recordings was him on stage in this small club, like just reading off court transcripts. And it was just terrible. It's like guys who get canceled, and that's all they talk about.

Right. That's what happens. Yeah. It becomes your thing. It's so crazy. You did an offhanded thing, and then now it's your everything. You got beaten one race by a chick, and now that's your whole life by a trans chick. That one, she went to that girl who lost who came in fifth at a fucking race by a trans chick.

Oh, hold on a second. That one's kind of fair. Yeah, that's a different. She should go, why the fuck is this allowed? Not 10 years later. What are you talking about? A comic? Got beaten in a race?

Not a comic. No, he's talking about the lady. I don't know. The female athlete who lost to a trans athlete. She's going, we should have laws about this. The swimmer? Which one? Oh, that's Riley Gaines.

It's her whole fucking personality now. She didn't go to school for that. She was on a track. One thing happened and that she's like completely changed. Same as when comics get canceled. It's like, oh, that's all beer forever. She actually had a good point because not only did she not lose to that person, the Leah, guy, but tied.

And then the Leah guy got the trophy and not her. No, no, but there's more to that. Yeah. Thomas. No, they tied for fourth. Yeah. Fourth and fifth. And they go, hey, we only have four trophies. We're going to get killed if we don't give it to the trans lady.

Can we just send you one later? Do you know how crazy that is though? Do you know how crazy that is? You give it to a guy who pretended to a girl. I'd be mad if that was at a fucking comedy competition that no one saw. No, that's that. We'll send it to you next week. Well, wait, why is the guy coming in fourth? He should be won. Yeah, for sure. This guy sucks.

All of them lost. Well, he sucked as a man. There was a first, second, and third, and none of those people involved came in first, second and third. First, second and third, nobody cares about. Fourth and fifth is what they're arguing about. Wait, I don't understand what your argument is, though. Is, like, who cares? He's like, yeah, obviously.

No, no, to make it your whole life after that is what you're saying about canceled comics. They become that thing. I understand. She was going to school for not that, and now that's her job. I cares what they're going to school for. You're saying it changed your whole trajectory. Would you go to school for a bitch? English literature breaking down analysis of life and stuff Are you doing well on that right now? Yeah pretty much

Yeah, you're doing terrible at this this moment right here. That's failing you. No, you say these canceled comments go and they could make that their whole life. This chick is not doing that. She tied a race for fourth and fifth and now that's all she does for a living. What is an example of a canceled comic that's made it their whole life? I don't want to name anybody right but you we've just talked about that. There's a lot I understand what you're saying. Sort of. Jew was on Netflix.

Jews on Netflix now. That is pretty cool that Netflix bought it after it was out on YouTube. They didn't buy it. They're just putting it up. Oh, fucking Jews. They got you. Get the eyeballs. It was already on YouTube.

It was more views. No, I'm totally out of it. Can you keep it on YouTube as well, or you have to take it down? Hey. How many views it have on YouTube? Millions. Eight million. Eight million.

It should have been six. That would be great. Shane and Shane at the Creek is like 50 now. 53. That's insane. Yeah, there's an Indian guy that broke the record in a week. Wow. Oh, is that right?

Indian comics. Somebody sent it to me, and they're like, he broke your record in a week. Damn. $55 million in a week? Is it in Hindu? Yeah. Is it the Canons guy? One of their 50 languages.

Yeah, he's gone. That's crazy. There's billions of them. But how do you know, this is a thing with views these days, though? There's companies that will jack your views up. Yeah, but that's... Sure, you've got to pay for that. Yeah, but you can't.

You could pay for it, but you could get millions of views that way. You can see the difference in like, we always do this when you talk shit about people who do it. Engagement? Yeah, they're like, they're like 5 million views, 30 comments. Right, right, right, right. Right, right. And what is a view? How much of you do you have to watch for a view to count?

I think it's just a click and click off counts the view. That's a good question. The best is when you send someone, like an agent or something, like a clip, you know, for them to see. And they go, we watch it, we're not happy with it. And you look at it, like, still has zero views. It's a private clip. You definitely didn't watch it. You liked it.

We're not happy with it. Or more embarrassing when someone sends you something like I just did. That guy sent me something that I've watched it 30 times. Over and over. And it's just me and it. He's going to see all the views are just me going. It's a private video. That's so sick.

Oh, that's so sick. I feel bad for young comics. Everything is about views, shares, number of followers. How many followers do you have? It's not even about funny. Yeah. I still think it is, though. It is.

I think eventually the cream rises, but managers are literally like, we got to hire this guy. Yeah, but they don't know shit. Well, yeah, they're... It's kind of like the industry in general. They're like, how much money did you make? And then, if they don't mind getting an Oscar nomination, but that's not what they're really in it for. I just, with the comics today being worried about you got to put out clip, er clips, you got to do that. It's like, sure, yeah, it's like, do it, but it's like...

Build an act. I don't know. Comedians always have excuses for why they're not successful, which is fine. I did the exact same thing. But they're all like, well, this guy, yeah, he's only got it because he put all those clips out and did all. It's like, I don't know. Whatever works, man. Try to be funny.

Yeah, who gives a fuck why someone's doing well? Who gives a shit of a YouTuber selling out of a comedy club? Who fucking cares? It's about you. What are you doing? Exactly. Just do your shit. And I understand.

Oh, by the way, I understand. I fucking loved that thing that you did where you did that documentary showing all the leading up to Boulder, the new thing that you did. You watch that? Yeah, it was great. The backgrounds. The marketplace. It's great. And it's great.

great insight as to like the development of bits. I really, I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Yeah. By the way, I could be your dad. Mark,

I want you to know, he told me that behind your back earlier. Whoa, thanks. Me and I remember just sitting out there he was like, you see that thing? I was like, fuck no, I'm not watching Mark's shit. Yeah, it's an hour long.

It's good. It's more a hour long. It's really good. On the way to the special? Yeah, I did a 10 sold out at the Dallas Improv and the special taped like a week or two later. So I was just tweaking and fine-tuning

and I filmed all the bombs and all that shit. It's really great. Cool. It's really great because it's like him in a bodega, going over the bits, like drinking coffee, reading over his lines, and then tweaking it and changing him. Yeah. Yeah. Hour and 12 minutes.

Uh-oh. Not the gay. It's good. It's good. So, yeah. Hold on. Go back to that. Boulder, Colorado.

The quote is relevant. Struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine syphis. That's a salicyce. It was. It was pushing the boulder. It was a boulder. Yeah.

Wait, did you do this? I didn't do that part. Who did this? The director, Matt Salih. You should beat his ass. It is a little pretentious for what this is. That's a little bit. That's what we start with.

Sheath underwear. Come back to Earth, yeah. Oh, God, Mark. Why do you have a nice ass, you fucking homo? I'm clavicular. Why have nice legs? He micro fractures his butt cheeks. I was deadly hung over there.

That's hilarious. Just shitting it out. But it's a great, it's really great for comics to see, especially young guys coming up, like what the process is like. You know, to see a guy like you, who's been in the game a long time, is really good.

Yeah. See a bunch of specials already. See you bombing and tweaking and showing everybody the bits not working well and then working really well. Thanks. I appreciate it. Yeah, there's this idea that everything is magic. No, it's just work.

Like, when you show them, like, their struggle, they're like, oh, okay. Just trial and error. Like, how many times see Louis bomb? And you're like, well, this guy's the best ever. Why see bombing? Yeah. Chris Rock used to come to the store, and the crowd would go nuts, and he would say,

Relax. It's not going to be that funny. Right. Lower your expectations. He would tell them that because he was just running material and trying to find every possible angle and get laughs occasionally and sometimes not and then tweak it afterwards. Yep. Yep.

That's part of it. That's why Eddie Murphy can't come back because I don't think he's willing to bomb for, you know, six months. It's not even six months. It's years. We've had this discussion on this podcast. It's player Kelly. It's also it's the Velvet Prison, the movies, the fucking craft service, getting picked up in a limo. It's like the grind of

writing your own material, putting it all together, everything riding on your back. Like, that is a warrior's game and some people don't want to do that anymore. It's also like you got to do it Tuesday at the stand where there's 19 people. I also understand older comics back in the day not wanting to do it because movies

were so much more lucrative. And stand up is 10 times more lucrative. It is now. And it's like, dude, do stand up. Yeah. Yeah. Like just do stand. I mean, I remember there's a couple people back then go, I would take a pay cut up I did a sitcom, and it was like a couple people. And now it's like kind of everybody. Yeah. You'd have to make Seinfeld money like season seven and beyond to go, I'll take off the road for this. So now there is no Seinfeld money. It doesn't exist. I know.

Miss Pat is the only person with a sitcom right now. What about this guy? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But you have, Tyres is different though, because it's a single camera. Yeah. Like, Tyres is like a show. It's not a sitcom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a show. It's a great, funny show. Thanks. But it's like there's a difference between the thing that everybody wanted was the live audience for camera. You do it on NBC, CBS, you get residuals. That was like the golden carrot that they hung over your head. Totally.

Stand up couldn't pay. No, nobody did anything but clubs back then. It was like dice clay. We're at Spade's house. And then afterwards it was Dane Cook. We saw a billboard of a poster, his thing is like a museum. And a poster for Evening of the Improv with him and Chris Rock. Who's that?

David Spade. Oh, wow. And I was there with Nate, and he goes, you did, like, club for this? And he goes, bro, we only did clubs. None of us ever did theaters back then. If we were really good, you'd do six days at a club. Carlin did theaters. Yeah.

It's, Dice did MSG once. Yeah, Steve Martin a couple times. Oh, Dice did MSG many times. He did Nassauk Coliseum. Dice did. He did two nights in a row, actually. He did two nights in a row. He did two nights in a row.

He did two nights in a row. He did one was doing it. Dice was the original stadium act. But then it was no one until Dane. Right. Between Dice and Dane, there was nobody. And now it's a lot of ice. And now people are playing at Des Moines.

They're playing arenas. Yeah. It's not that many, guys. I mean, it's probably at least 20. Comparing. Arrottzi. Kevin Hart. Sebastian.

Tom. Regularly. Hinchcliff. Louis. Well, hold on, fellas. That's not diminishing it. No, no. It's just a big.

Gabriel. Gabriel's doing giant place. Joe Koi, giant places. Kevin Hart. Matt Rife. Matt Rife. Matt Rife. Matt Rife.

Giant places. Matt Rhyde. Segura. I met a guy. I met an Indian kid outside New York comedy club. Indian kids will do something. And I was like, oh, what are you doing in town? He goes, doing comedy.

He's like, oh, that's cool, man. What are you playing? And he goes, MSG. That doesn't count. I was like, what? Indians don't count. Congratulations. Indians don't count.

Indians don't count as much as Christian movies counts in the box office. You'd be top ten every time. They're removal. That's hilarious. Yeah, that's probably 10, 12? You know. 10 to 20. That's two or arenas?

You see it on it. We're doing arena every once in a while. Rife? Matt Rive. Rife doing a lot. Yeah. It's a matter of whether you want to do arenas all the time. The point is way more than no one between Dane and Dice.

Right. For sure. Yeah. For sure. Because comedy's so big now. Yeah. And there's a ton of guys doing 1,500 cedars. Yeah.

A lot of them. Oh, Shultz, I think, does arena. I don't know if he's regularly. Oh, he does regular arenas. Yeah, he does arenas regularly. Whenever he wants. Whatever he wants. Bert.

Tom. Bert. Yeah, Tom, yeah, there you go. Tony. There's a lot of people doing arenas now. Mostly you guys from my storytelling show. Oh, which is also online behind a paywall. The end.

These three guys are on it, arena comic, nice. Theater comic, club almost sells out Saturdays. In Denver, I'll get there. It's just because you're likable. Yeah, Tony, Nate, who? We had a bunch. You, Tony, Nate, Tom,

four arena comics. That's wild. The three private jets were at that show. That's insane. We got paid 500 bucks. I got a story. You can cut this out if you want.

Cut back in. And we're back. We're back. You should be mad. I'd be furious. I wouldn't want to do that. It stunk. We need a transition.

Let's go back. That last flight. The 9-11. Yeah. What does that sound? Go, baby, go. Oh, look at the gay Ayatollah. Freedom's the only way.

Straight's a harm move. Iran needs to understand. Freedom's the only way. Woo, fuck the regime. We're coming back, brother. Yeah. We're bombing everybody, brother. We need to bomb everybody.

Fuck health care. I don't know if I met so many people who shut out in America when I was traveling. It made me more nationalistic. I couldn't agree more. If I go to another country and somebody's like, ah, you guys are mad, blah, blah. I go, dude, you guys are doing nothing. Me and you are like, we need health care.

We're doing it. We're fucking up. And somebody's like, why don't you guys have health care? Like, why don't you shut your mouth? Yeah. Because we have stealth bombers, bitch. Yeah. All the Australians, like, you choose your minority's bad. I'm like, you wiped yours out.

Yes, we have football. Blow me. Yeah. Yeah, we have college football, though. We have college points. We got movies. Solid points by everybody. Once you go to another country, that's when you go.

Yeah. Why don't you guys shut up? Who's number two would stand up comedy? England. England? England. Oh, sure. Well, Ricky Jervais, Jimmy Carr.

Those are two great. Car is great. Carr is the national, international great. Car is the best. Stewart. Lee. Car is so good. Car is great. He was so good. He performed at the mothership.

He's running all this new jokes. I was like, this guy is a motherfucker, dude. Great writer. It's just dominant and so calm. So smart, man. It's such a smart dude. Tight jokes. If you hear you hear of one of those bruskeys, I'd like to get involved.

What are you looking for this time? America. Glass or can. I would never waste a glass on a bong. Shane, you haven't changed at all. I wish I could, brother. It's time to change. You don't want to change.

I haven't changed. You have not. I don't think I have. You can't go out as much. You did change very low. You changed a little weird. You changed, yeah. You changed in unimportant ways.

You're more into hunting. Wow. But like, it's not like, archery. But that to me is like my way to stay insane. No, you just got a new hobby. I do a bunch of things like pool, archery, martial arts. Those things just keep me sane. I have to do some things that keep me from going off the rails.

And staying off of Twitter. Didn't you have a thing where? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think you have a thing where your manager or business manager, one of them was like, hey, Joe, we got to, when you just start headlining, Kirk, you're wrong. We're like, we got to have a talk with you. And you're like, what's the matter? And they're like, buddy, we don't want to get us out of hand.

We know you have a gambling addiction and we want to get you help. And you're like, what do you mean? Like, you're blowing through money in a way. And he goes, no, I just love lobster and steak. Oh, I was eating steak and lobster. That's my first development deal. My manager thought that I had a gambling problem because I was spending so much money. I'm my, bro, I'm eating steak and lobster.

every night. He's like, you're not worried at all. You're going to run out of money. I'll go, I'll make more money. We'll figure it out. I'm like, once we get in the gate, like, I'm one of those people that are like, if I figured out how to get in the gate, I'm going. I'm going to keep my foot on the gas.

I'll be fine. Joe, you brought so many openers with you that we made more money than you. We did the math ones. He's barely making more than us. But it was about fun. It was so fun. It has to be about fun. Because I did gigs with like local guys.

and some of them were great. Like, that's how I got to meet Subura. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I met a bunch of guys who became my friends that were, like, local guys, but it was like one out of ten. And that means nine times

I'm in a town, bored, watching TV, fucking not enjoying myself. And then being, sometimes they're mean. Sometimes they step on your material. Yeah, on purpose. And sometimes they'll be like, what's the negging thing a woman will do where she's like,

they're like, they're like, I don't know you that. I'm trying to be nice to you. I hate that. Well, there's a lot of weirdness because you're the headliner and they're jealous and they think they should be the headling.

better than you. You're going to go do local material and you're like, all right. Okay, buddy. Yeah. There's a lot of that. You should do this. Hey, let's switch tomorrow.

Yeah. You can go on last for 15. But the gigs were always a party. We had fun everywhere we went. We had fun. Fun is key. Like, I'll do Skank Fest. And you make what?

$17. Yeah. But I have friends like, ah, you make no money. I'm like, it's fun. It's a great weekend. I was trying to explain this to guys. Wait, which friend?

One of Tony's agents was trying to pitch this fucking horrible. Not even Tony's agent. Someone was trying to pitch this horrible idea where Tony would take a percentage of everybody's podcast that was on Kill Tony. He was like, no fucking way.

And I was like, that money, if you got it from them, it wouldn't change the way you feel. You would feel the same. You wouldn't say, I feel so much better now that I have X more dollars in the bank, but you would feel like a piece of shit

because you were fucking people over. You would pay all that money back plus to not feel that way. To not feel bad, yeah, yeah, yeah, you would give it all back. You would do not be a piece of shit. It's like... There's nothing better than helping your buddies. Nothing better. It's kind of the only nice thing.

Shane pays people on the road out of spite. What do you mean? Like, Lev was talking dumb shit. He was so fucking couldn't get on his own fat way. And he goes, no, clubs are better than readers, you're crazy. And Shane's like, you've never done an arena. He goes, dude, you know how love is. All Jews.

He's like, I know what I'm talking about. Out of spite, it goes, I'm going to give you a lot of cash to come over for me on the road. And Shand Lev's like, arenas are better, and I pay my rent for the year. Yeah, those shows, your crowds are great. Those shows are so fun. You do 15 to 20. You just play the hits. It's a great time.

Fun is fun. Fun is fun everywhere you go. You can I play Xbox with a bunch of guys from the NHL? Yeah, yeah. Seriously. It's crazy. You go to know women. I don't think I've had a woman in my group.

Green Room. It was just 15 dudes. We're trying to have a good time here. You can see the guy who owns the arena is so disappointed, too. They come in thinking it's going to be cool because standard is cool now. And they come in as me, soda and Shane playing some fucking video game. It just smells like body odor. And there's chicken nuggets and the rider. My rider's chicken tenders in a case of beer.

Second worst pizza in town and bring it. But that video game you play brings everybody in. It's a great ice break. Yeah. It's the hangout afterwards. It's so many memories of us, like, some town and just going to anybody in the street, like, is there a place to eat around here?

Like, wow, it was a fogo to chow around. It was like, what? Well, all you need is us. Like, in a green room sometimes, I'm like, I don't even want to go to the bar. This is the best. It's the hang. The hang's everything.

Yeah, at the mothership, and it's like, whenever it was like, we're going under Mitzis. I'm like, yeah, this is a great thing right here. We got liquor. Stay right here. Yeah, but Mitzis, once it clears out, it was perfect. Oh, yeah.

Well, once the regular people are out, yeah. Yeah, once the crowd leaves. Well, that's the cool thing about Mitzies is it becomes a private club after 11 bills. That's nice. Always does my voice in there, though. Same. Well, Tony's chain smoking like a fucking old lady. He's chain smoking, everybody's drinking, his great music playing.

He's like, I'll tell you. Tony needs a cigarette extender. He didn't less than a me. Virginia Slims. His ability to write roast jokes is extraordinary. It's very weird. I gave him a angle yesterday. on the on the can we say what is he on the uh he's going to roast oh yeah i think yeah i just gave

an angle i was like what about this he goes ooh i'm like something like this he goes yeah but wittier than that yes and i'm like yeah i don't know how to write a joke well as soon as you got i was like they're there yeah now you do your thing with it those jokes are there he thinks in like that kind of joke like roast joke form like that's how like he's so fat he mebra yeah that's how his mind works it's really fun to watch it's like i because i don't that muscle a different muscle. It's a different muscle. Both your guys was good yesterday.

It was funny. Watching, they do a, going to be a massive thing ahead of time for a crowd. The crowd's like, this was so cool. Well, it's cool because they get to see it worked out and they're going to get to see it live. And you get to see people go, really?

Not on that one? I'm very happy with the jokes. And you're going out cold, right? You've got to open it. Yeah. That's tough. I'm worried about, I don't think I'm a good host as far as the, hey, everybody,

we're on live on Netflix. I don't think I'm going to be able to do that. I'm gonna go, all right, fuck that. This is my joke. This is my joke. It don't matter. Once you start talking, it's all good. Dude, there's a video I saw Waylon Jennings Jr.

I think it was him, and they're doing a, like a roast, like a barbecue. And they're like, we're here, waiting for him to show up, but he's been barbecuing to this thing for the last, you know, 14 hours. And then they come in and some ladies, like, interview him. And we're like, so we're ready for your roast. He goes, oh, that's not mine. He was like, no. She was like, what do you mean? He goes, no, that's the TV thing.

That's like, what? He goes, no, mine would be underground and we'd have, like, moonshine. And she goes, for the base thing? No, for fun while we're waiting for the meat to come out. Yeah. He just, like, ruin the TV version of it. He's like, no, that's a lie. Yeah, I got kicked off a last comic standing for that.

Because they put you in a room and they're like, they want you to have drama. They're like, what do you think? Who are you going to beat? And I'm like, I'm probably going to lose. And they're like, no, no, no, you got to like talk shit. And I'm like, oh, they don't want me on here. I'm going to bomb. And they're like, what are you doing?

You're ruining the show. they want you to be like fuck that guy I'm to take him down just say hey guys well anyway we know what this I don't know how you would do it

that's a tough part I'll do it's a hard part I'll do it there's just a couple jokes that I'm like I know they're funny but it's like man that's gonna be tough

to tell publicly you're dark you want a couple jokes in there that were like you can hear the reaction of like laughter or like oh yeah

and that's a fucking mothership crowd yeah exactly a bunch of people that are like I paid good money to see somebody

be racist tonight and they're like, bro, calm down. It's hilarious. The black jokes go hard. The black jokes go hard. We do. But hey, you know, it's a rose.

This is what we want to see. I know, but I got to go fucking first. That's true. Yeah, the emceeing is tough because you haven't emceed in forever. But is Kevin Hart going to be there? I've never done anything. Of course you guys do it.

But like when he's out, when he's out first. He has to be there. If he's laughing, you're golden. He'll laugh. Oh, he'll laugh at everything. Yeah. So the black jokes with the black guy laughing, you're good to go.

Yeah. I'm not, it's more the... Internet? How you guys doing for it? Oh. Because it's in L.A. I am going to be,

it's going to be live and I'm going to say some pretty offensive things and then I'm going to have to stay in the pocket of being like, I know the people at home like this. Yes. But now an entire room

of famous people don't like me. Dude, I know. They're going to kill. On paper, it sounds easy. I get it. I get it.

I know people in the WMBA. Like people that work in like management and the players. and I was going to war over your Espies thing. Yeah, what were they saying? They were not happy with it at all. What? That's a great fit. They seemed like a grumpy bunch anyway.

Not happy with it. They go, you got to know you're playing for it. And I was like, right, to me at home watching. And they go, that's not worthy audience. I'm like, no, you're in the room. We're all at home laughing. And we thought it was hilarious. They're like, she didn't even know this lady's name.

And was like, well, that's this point. Nearly good day. But the Espe's was a good training ground for this. I was nervous and awkward on that. No, but they got 10 million views or whatever. It's for the internet. America. Fuck yeah.

Something to say the motherfucking day. What night is the roast? Sunday. Sunday. Oh, fuck. I'm gone. Damn. Where are you at?

My first one. I'm getting there Tuesday. Oh, no. Why you go there early? I get there Sunday and then it's the 10th. It's the next Sunday. Oh, okay, okay. You're going to stay?

I think I have a gig. Me and Lewis got matching Legion of Skanks outfits. Oh, you're on the team now. You're a member of the Red Carpet now. So this is... With Jay. Does this stop you from moving to UK? Unfortunately, it does.

Yes, thank God. Fuck those lineys. And I even, unfortunately. It's a massive opportunity for me creatively. This is like a dream. You've been going long enough. Thank God for the fucking Mossad plant got out of there. The Mossad couple.

So I was like, ooh. Yeah, maybe I'll be like, oh. Yeah, it'll be fun. Yeah, you have to. Fuck going to England. They're going to stab you anyway. You're going to stab you anyway. That's true.

They'll stabbing. They do get stabby. They do get stabby over shooting. Getting stabbed would fucking blow dick. Suck. You're right there with the guy, too. At least a gunshot. Gunshot could be like, where do we come from?

Some distance. Yeah. He's like, I know. It's you. It's you. I hate you. Right. Oof.

Yeah. Yeah. You're better off. Yeah, you're better off. I think it's good. It's divine the direction. Well, nothing's better off than Skanks. Yeah.

There you go. What is it? 15 years running. Yeah. This is perfect for you, Ari. It's my show. England's not perfect for you. Vice President?

Although it's weird seeing you tie down to something. I've never seen you commit. What you got to do it once a week? When Shane and I ran for president and vice president, we'll get it to another episode, but it was the log line was until one of us betrays the other. Until one of us double crosses the other one. We didn't. We didn't.

Only because you found out Lewis was going to fuck with me and you double across him. Yes. Dude, that was nice. Of course. I would never do. I'm going to let my president go down like that. I'm J.B. Vant. I'm Vant.

Underrated something that happened in COVID? Is Shane, we're like, we're making a... You guys were making the biggest mistake comedically. I was so bad. There was a video going around of all these stars singing some like Beatles song. Oh yeah. Imagine there's no heaven. So Lewis's idea was like, let's do something making fun. But we'll all sing a song, Down with the Sickness.

And we'll make a video. And I was like, oh, I'll edit it. So we just got to sing the first. But I need every single one of you to sing the full song. And I can choose. And then I'll pick. And then I just have a full video of every single one of these dumb asses singing that song. And I was like, first off, the idea was not funny.

That is gay. I was not being part of that. I was doing it as a favor. To Lewis, I was like, if you think this is good. And then Shane, Shane call me, goes, how bad will your retaliation be if I release your video? video. I was like, dude, I didn't put anyone's videos out.

I was like, bro, you have it right now. Send it to Jamie. As a comedian, you should do it. I will scorch the earth to get back here. Send Ari's to Jamie right now. Do you have it categorized? You have it in a folder? And I kept trying to like,

like it was hard to make sure they did it seriously. So I was like, no, like, don't fuck around. It would be funnier if you guys are like really singing is the best you can. You fucked around in yours. I did? Oh, thank God. But, I mean, it's still a horrific and embarrassing video. That whole thing was so weird.

Imagine there's no heaven while Granny just died of COVID. And also it's like, this is like, it's a war song. Yeah. It's a war and religion song. Yeah, it was a very strange time where people just got into smelling their own farts. Yeah. Well, the COVID-hidden actors had no juice anymore. They were like, oh, we got to stand out.

Please don't. Oh, my God. It's the real one, the one that I can't watch this. Throwing it up for you guys to see. Act just really made themselves worthless. Will we get in trouble? Yeah, I mean, I can't. Okay, we can't sing it.

You get Sarah Silverman being all serious. She's like, what stars are in this? I'll do it. Oh, she was being joking. I don't know who that is. Who is that? Timothy Sheldameh. What's wrong with his teeth?

Oh, Fallon. Hey, Portman. He's an opener now. You can kind of hear it. Oh, man. This is a fucking insane. This is worse of being on Epstein's island. Get an iPhone clamp.

God, actors. Yeah. It's so fucking weird. Well, they're not as important as they used to be. So they're like, oh, this will be relevant. They're about to be irrelevant. They were like, I'm not getting attention. Let's just do it ourselves.

And you're like, you guys can't do this. The worst was the black and white one when they're like, I am ashamed of my whiteness. Yeah. That wasn't even a song. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The black and whiteness? Yeah.

Doing the BLM. There's so many good ones. You do? It's so good. De Rosa. I got De Rosa going, send that to Jamie right now. Send that to Jamie right now.

De Rosa will get sincere. De Rosa gets sincere, especially when he's drunk. Dude, you're such a good friend. I'm like, shut up. You're adopted. Shut up. Shut up. I would never be friends with an adopted guy. You Egyptian weird.

Everybody was like trying to be silly, but the bit sucked so bad. So bad. I was so happy when you guys were doing it. I was at Stanhope's when this was going on. Oh, my God. I'll even get the bin. He was just drunk and Stanhope's like, you guys sucked us. You guys suck.

You killed us. You can stand over hammered. You killed us. I'm talking how much these dudes suck. That shit blew, dude. I can't believe you guys did that. How much you got left in there? It's such a weird thing where people decide to do things to make themselves look like they care.

Look like they care. That's the thing about Hollywood. They want to look like they care. And it's so fucking transparent. That's always a bummer. You get that text. Like, hey, can you make a video for this? I'm like, ah, it's going to ruin my whole day.

Because you like, have to think about it and spend it. time on it? It's a nightmare. Change your number. Yeah, like, can you help me with it? You get one or two of those, change your number. There we go. Joe Joe Rabbit. Music please. Music please. Oh, it's going to be cold.

Woo, he's back, baby. Ibogaine. The Ibrahimate. Ibrahimate. Yeah, congrats on the IvyGain, bro. That's sick. Dude, that is such a win. That is such a gigantic win. They're hoping to reschedule it.

They're going to reschedule the start. psychedelics and have them available to people. What's interesting is that all this was done during the Nixon administration to squash the civil rights movement. The civil rights movement and the anti-war movement. Black people don't even like mushrooms. And that was also one of things that I got to say. It's one of the things that I got to say during the whole Trump thing. You said black people don't want to say.

Black people don't like mushrooms. I said they love certain foods, but you can't bring them up. I said these things weren't made illegal. It was like, because it was all live. They couldn't stop me from saying it. And Trump just let me talk. So I said, these aren't illegal because they're harmful. They're illegal because of the sweeping Controlled Substances Act of the 1970s

and the Richard Nixon administration to target the Civil Rights Movement and the entire war movement. That's why they made them illegal. They're not illegal because they're harmful. And the idea that they were Schedule I for all these years when so many people are using them to quit smoking, to quit drinking. to quit drugs, to get their life together, to like relax before they're dying. Like so many people that are like filled with anxiety because they're dying of cancer, they take mushrooms and they're like, I think I'm going to be okay. Can you get fucked up on Ibegain?

No, it's not recreational at all. Oh, weird. Oh, it's bad. It's a bad experience. What? Yeah, it's not like a fun time. But it's neuroregenerative. Like it helps people that have, like Rick Perry, the governor, he had some sort of like natural

atrophy of his brain that happens when you get older. Within six weeks or so after doing it, 25% of the atrophy was gone. Six months later, 100% of it was gone. What? Yes. It's nuts. It's very positive, but a bad feeling when you're doing it. Who is this?

Interesting. Rick Perry, the former governor of Texas, Republican governor, who is a staunch anti-drug guy his whole life. And then he talked to all these veterans that were using it to get off of whatever opiates that they were on. Let me try it in secret. Let me try it in secret? I don't know if it was let me try it in secret because he was open about talking about it. And he did it and he said it changed his life too.

And he says, this is my life now. I'm dedicated to trying to make this stuff legal. So it's kind of like Ozmpic. It makes you stop doing stuff. Well, Zempic is weird because it does make you stop doing addictive things too. It does. But it cuts down your sex drive too. It cuts down love.

Like you don't get excited about stuff. Yeah. People are saying it keeps you from being passionate about things. It cuts down love. It's just weird when you see. We were talking about that lady. Some of these hot actresses that are doing it and they don't need to do it. Stop drinking.

Be fat and horny. Fat and horny. Yeah. That's a good radio team. Fat and horny in the morning. It's also, girls don't realize like a little bit of fat on them is hot. Yeah.

When girls are like 10 pounds overweight, it's like when they think they're overweight, you're like, yeah. Especially if they're confident with it. Oh. Just gives them curves. Rachel Ray. When they lose all that weight and get that OZempe, face it's like what are you doing pull up Olivia wild you see her she looks like that's what we're

young talking about before you got here oh man pull up her and a lemur it's dead of the eyes it's dead on who's Olivia wild she's really beautiful actress gorgeous gorgeous she's so hot she wasn't fat at all man but she's been look how hot look how hot gorgeous but now look at the most recent video of her yeah look at that oh now pull up a ringtail lemur if you can find one I know exactly what lemur looks like, bro. It's a cute little nugget. Look at that.

Same eyes. Same eyes. Wait, what happened to her? Did she just hit the wall? I don't know. There's no way she just hit the wall. She's still fairly young. How old is she?

And she was really hot. She was on a some 42. She was in house at 2007. She's old. She's 20 years older than she was in a house. Yeah, but dude, recently she looked really hot. Also, she's gorgeous. Gorgeous.

No, I don't think it's the wall, dude. A real name's cock. burn that's fun okay but does anybody know if she's taking that stuff that's not even obsemic that the eyes that's a different thing look at a giant eyeballs she might feel bad doing this

yeah I don't want to besmirge the lady she's still pretty epic it's still fucking uh clavicle but I think it's a little bit of it is just like just women have this thing where they think they're supposed to be skinny yeah oh 42

well they are yeah but dude 42 look at what's it fucking what's Jennifer Lopez. Yeah, yeah. Look at outliers. She's hot as fuck. I mean, that's a Puerto Rican.

Yeah, look at LeBron, but everybody else, it goes out at 38. Hmm. Could you hate me one of those bruskees? Absolutely, buddy. What are you looking for? A bottle. Yay. Bottle rock.

It's just sad that so many of these women think that they have to be waste. Like, look at her. That's from January. That's in January. I think it's just a bad picture, bad night or so. Yeah. That's this January? I thought that was a great picture.

She's still beautiful. And she doesn't even look remotely overweight. Dude, Seth Rogen looks like a troll next to her. That's from two weeks ago. Two weeks? Oh, no, that's just a best picture. She's fine. She might have been just pretty.

Let's leave. Let's leave her alone. She's a leader. Lady, yeah, I was wrong. You didn't hit the wall at all. She's still a lot of shit. You know what I like is the big fat guys that need the Ozempic? Need it.

Yeah. Yeah. I like that. My friend, he's on the fat pill. And some of them defeat it. Yeah, I know a guy. We know a guy. Foley.

I didn't want to say his name. Pauly. He plowed right through Ozempic. How do you do that? He just keeps eating. He has habits. Dude, when we were doing the 9-99, we were three hot dogs in.

We had the nine hot dogs, nine beers, and nine innings. And by the way, pitch clock, so it's way harder than when it was invented. Although, we did get there early. We got there. O'Connor had seven hot dogs before the National Anthem. That's unbelievable. O'Connor is like, what's your strategy? He's like, I'm going to just chug these hot dogs, chug hot dogs, passed out till the six.

He passed out. We had to wake up in the nine to be like, like, dude, you're two away. You got to get it. He got it. And he was like, I'm a champion. It's the bread. The salt gets you.

That's disgusting. Yeah, but H. Foley, three hot dogs in. You look over, he's eating a cheese steak. He's getting other broke. He's eating other food. And he goes, I want on a Zemma, I don't think I'll win. Bro, I don't care how fucking. How full I am.

If you put a cheesecake in front of me, I'm eating that shit. It's like, bust. There's a new place in Austin. There's a food truck that Tony turned me out to. That has cheese steaks, they are four kings. Just had one on one. What is that place, Jamie? Do you know the place?

Do you know what it is, Tony? Don't say it. We'll never get in again. What's that? No, not at all. I'll ask Tony. I think I saw it on Seamless. They almost got it.

They're so legit. Is it on 6th street? Because the food sucks over there. Food sucks on 6. Yeah, it's a weird spot because it used to be the dirty 6. It was all just like drunk people food. They didn't have to be good. It's getting worse, dude.

But. You got Black Rabbit. That's it. But there's a Fogo de Chau a block away. I think it might be R&B. There's a Fogo de Chau block away from the club. Where? It's down the street.

It's on like... It's on Congress. It's on Congress. I've never seen it. Fogo? Fogo? It's on Congress. So it's two blocks away.

Yeah, but it's not dirty six. It's way off. Right, right. But it's not far, Armin. You can literally walk there. It's still downtown. These are the guys. These are the guys.

I'm going there tonight. So what is it? What's the name of it? R&B's steak and fries. R&B's steak and fries. Bro, I'm telling you, their fucking cheese steaks are so legit. Let's meet the brothers. These guys brought them to the club, and I was like, and Tony's like, dude, you got to try this.

I was like, I'm not really hungry, but let me, I start one bite and I scarfed it. I scarfed it. Ooh, they got that fucking sauteed onions. Oh, it's so good, dude. It's so good. These guys are so, and they're cool dudes. Very, very, very legit. Wait, go back up, want to see his nickname?

Boo. Boo. Black guys, rule. Boo Radley Man, it's almost time for Jeremiah Love highlights Easy It's almost time, dude Jeremiah Love?

Oh, yes. Who that is? I love that you're asking. Who that is? What are we talking about here? Is that politics? No, no. Football?

No name running back. Jeremiah Love sounds like a football player. Yeah, he certainly is. Yeah. If he was a fighter, he'd probably quit in the third round. I don't know if he... With that name? If he had autism?

I think he does. He's got at least OCD, but they did a nice docke, like before the game, they always, like, college game day always runs, like, a heartwarming story, but he had, like, autism as a kid, and they were like, we don't know what to do. And then we got him in football, and he was just a fucking animal. Oh, wow.

That's a thing with autism. He's so fast. Wow, looking at his own sideline. Dude, autism is a superpower. Well, you just got to channel it. You're going to like this one. Tell me about it. You're going to like this one.

Norman. You got to speak on it. You got to find a piano. or comedy. I can speak about Neanderthal genes. You can speak about autism. These guys are tackling wrong. Look at him go, dude.

Wow. Wait to you see him jumping over people. These guys are tackling wrong. It's like the correspondent shooter. Hey, Jamie, who is that guy that they just signed from Africa? He's a 21-year-old guy who's never played football before. Philly did. Yeah, he's with the Eagles.

Football does that where you're like as long as you've got the skills, we got you. That was a nice cue. Let's keep this rolling for a second. Look that. What a wiggle. Oh, my goodness. All they got to do to tackle him is look him directly in the eyes. Why?

Because autism hates that shit. Really? Is that real? You look an autistic guy in the eyes and go, please stop. He won't look at you back, though. They hate hugs. It's not going to work if he doesn't look at you back. He's just dodging hugs.

Do you hate hugs? He's dodging a hug. Bro. Oh, get away. No. Get him. Get him. Get him.

Take him down. Oh, no. Oh, right in the lips. He got tongue in there for the listeners. Salt, brother. You should sue Joe. I might sue you. His whole body was vibrating when I was hugging.

Good Lord. I mean. That's not. Oh, man. How sick is Jeremy? Too much touching. Bro. I love a great athlete.

Show Joe, him jumping over some people. Hey, what are you boys doing next weekend? Oh. I think I got a gig. What do you got to? Next week is a roast. Next Saturday. Next Saturday.

Oh, yeah. I got to do TD Garden in Boston. What are you doing? UFC. UFC and New Jersey. Sean Strickland, Hamza Chimaev. Oh, who.

Bro, they're not even going to have a face-off. They're worried about putting them close to each other because Sean has talked so much shit. He's a wild dude. He's a wild dude. And that shit-talking that he does, it's emotional warfare. Because, like, you'll think about the shit.

He calls him a goat-fucker. Wow. He won't stop talking shit. He has no filter. Sean Strickland said that. He said if those three goats, He comes up to me with three of his Chechen-Gh guvskins. He says, Sean was like, I'll shoot them, I'll pull out my gun, I'll shoot all three of them,

and he's going like this, boom, boom, boom. Jesus. He's talking so much shit, but it's emotional warfare. It's like what Connor used to do. What Connor did with Jose Aldo, he had him so fucked up before that fight. And he was just like so emotional, because Aldo was a legend. Nobody talks shit about him. Everybody was terrified him.

And Connor was just constantly talking shit about him. It worked. Stole his belt at a press conference and, like, he was holding it up. And by the time the fight happened, Alda was just so worked up. And Connor was just like super relaxed and smiling. That's how Roberto Duran beat Robinson because he called his wife a horror bunch. Who's Robinson? Sugar Ray.

No. No, Leonard. Leonard. Leonard. Sorry. How dare you. It was a little bit of that. He talked Sugar Ray into fighting his kind of fight.

Yeah. Do you think Strickland can do that? No. Strickland is a... He's good. No, no, no, no. Strickland is one of the best fighters on planet Earth. But so is the other guy.

So is Hamzot. But Strickland is also a legitimate world champion. He's a guy who's accustomed to five-rounders. He's got phenomenal cardio. He's one of the hardest guys to hit in the sport. Can he... 100% he has a shot. Underrated grappling.

Listen to me as an expert, he's allegedly. So he's one of the best take-down. He's got some of the best taked down defense in the game. Underrated grappling. Strickland has a legit chance. Can I just say this? As someone has heard, you talk about this kind of stuff for many, many years. You give it up more for the person you think is not going to win.

Oh. Because you didn't say, you know, a homzat in this. You just said Strickland has a chance. No, no. I will tell you a lot about it's unreal. It's obvious. So you go, but don't count out the underdog. No, I'll say that eventually if you give me a chance, you fucking blabber around.

You stopped talking. Jesus. You stopped. You stopped. You already made your point. Jesus. Tom's 100% can win. He looked, he dominated Dreykus duplice.

Like, he didn't even belong in there with him. Exactly. And Dreykiss was the world champion. And Drikas had beaten Sean Strickland. But the last time he beat Strickland in the second fight, Strickland, they made him fight. He had a shoulder injury. Like, Strickland's a wild boy.

And he crashed his dirt bike and fucked his shoulder up. Cool. Strickland's an animal. And they allowed him. him, I mean, they forced him, I should say, to fight. Plus 340, damn. Listen, man, I'm telling you he can win. Not only did he beat out of Sonia, but the guy does not get tired.

Strickland has some of the best fucking cardio in the sport. He's one of the hardest guys to hit. He's very clever with his boxing. He's got one of the best jabs in the sport. Strickland can win this fight. All right. It's not saying he's going to win. Hamzad is the best grappler at 185, period.

If he gets him on the ground, it could be over. And Hamzok can fucking strike, too. It's not just a grappler. He's an animal. I mean, that's what I mean with the shit talk. Maybe he's trying to talk him into his standing. Right. Or talk him into a war or talk him into hitting the gas full clip trying to take.

Al Jemaine Sterling. Al Jermaine did a video about this. And Al Jemain said, here's the thing. If Hamzat tries to just run him over, tries to just take him down, run him over, submit him, and can't do it, then that's a problem. Because then he gasses himself out in the first round. This is a five-round fight. Strickland is notoriously durable, notoriously in incredible

shape, and he's calm. He knows how to fight in wars. Like, he's, like, accustomed to that. You know, he had a very abusive childhood. He doesn't like bullies. Like, Strickland's, he's a tough nut, dude. Oh, yeah. In my mind, this is like, I would get Hans on it.

Yeah, you're fire me up. Yeah. Dude, this is a great fight, dude. Have you heard his trans rants? This is one. Strickland is the best at fucking just talking wild shit at press conferences. He's a wild fellow.

He was on the podcast, too. He's fun, man. He's fun. He gets so angry and worked up about shit, but he's fucking fun, man. You know what's fun? Like, now a back? Fun whites. Fun whites are coming back. Oh, he's one of the funest whites ever. I blame Chet Hanks. He broke it open.

Yeah, White Boy's Summer. He's a new accent. He's got a new accent? He broke the Hyman. What's his new one? I don't know. He dropped his old one. He was like, I'm done with that fakeness. I got a new fakeness. Can you imagine it was Tom. Tom Hanks is your dad. It's wild.

You got to live in that shadow. Colin and Chet, they couldn't be more opposite. Who's Colin? Collins' other son. You see he's in a ton of movies. Colin's less of a phony. Well, he's more straight-laced. Yeah.

What's Shia Leboof? He's getting drunk, going to jail, coming back out. Is Shia Lebooth? Chetka's not famous? No, I'm just like wild whites. He's just like Tom. That's crazy. He's in a ton of movies.

God, he looks just like Tom. That's crazy. He can be Forrest Gump, too. Good actor. He looks more for his gumpy than Forrest Gump. He looks more Philadelphia. What is this?

Chad is singing? Oh, he's singing now. He's doing country music. Oh, boy. Oh, God. He can't stop. He thought he was a rapper. It was, but country's big now.

He's just swinging in every fucking bitch. He just goes wherever it's popular. Renato sucks. He doesn't suck. That guy sucks. He sucks. He sucks. He sucks.

He sucks. He sucks. He sucks. Yeah, but Ari, could you imagine what it's like having Tom Hanks as a dad and trying to find your own identity? I'm sure it's tough if your father was a molester, but doesn't know. She's molester. You're talking about fucking

J-Mo is getting the time stamp How dare you Talk about Woody here. How dare you? Chetnakes blows. How dare you? He was good in Atlanta And that's about it.

Atlanta? Philadelphia? Did an episode of Atlanta. It was good. Oh. Oh. Which one? Oh, Chet.

Chet. Chet rules. He was also great in a curb. Yes. Played the soldier. That's right. I didn't see that one. You want to talk great athletes?

What about the amputee cornhole guy? What? What? You haven't seen this guy? What kind of a fucking transition was that? I never really was going with it. Did you? What athletes?

The guy got in trouble for shooting someone. He's got no arms on legs. He's shot a guy. Did he really shoot somebody? With a nub. Wait, 100% he shot him? Pull it up. What's cornhole?

I thought he's playing cornhole. He was. Does he have to attach like a stick to the nub so he could pull the trigger? He's got a little tiny thumb. right on the stump. And he could trigger? Pulled a trigger and killed a guy. Whoa.

Yeah. Why did he kill the guy? I think he fucked his stump. I don't know. What happened? Actually, I remember reading the story. He was just son of a bitch. He was driving the car too.

There was three other guys in the car, and he's the one driving. What an alpha? Stump drove the car? Wow. This guy's a badass. He was a down a straight road? And he was a professional cornhole? He was number one?

Cornhole. No way. Here's a video of him. There's a video of him climbing a ladder. Cliving a ladder. Yeah, I'll show you that after this. He's getting past. He's out in prison like a cornhole bag.

Juan on suspicion of shooting and killing a pastor in his car during an argument. Look at this badass. Oh, he can shoot guns. I mean, you can shoot well. You got to hand it to him. Well, maybe if you have to stand on there, Mark. Less limbs. Yeah, less limbs.

It's not this and this. It's just this. It's more stable. I went out of a limb. Oh, you son of a bitch. This is cornhole strategy. He's unbelievable. He's really good.

Look at this. He's just sinking them. Bags. Bags. And now he's in jail. Poor guy. He could have been a hero of our generation. So did he kill the guy for a reason?

I'm sure. Lost his limbs, bacterial infection at 10 years old, demonstrating shooting. So what is the story? Accused of shooting a guy during a driving argument. He wanted the two guys in the car to help him get rid of the body. They refused. And then he dropped them out of the car, went and dropped the body somewhere. Someone found the body.

and then they came after him. That'd be tough to dig a hole. Bro, the way Ari leaves. It's astonishing. Ari leaves like a ghost in the night. Well, he's old. They got a piss every ten minutes. I'm older than him.

He drinks prune juice. Goes right through you. So it was an argument? He just shot the guy? You'd think it would take so long for him to pull out the gun. You would just smack it out of his stub. You'd think. But I think when that guy comes up to you, you're like, what are you going to do?

You're not scared. So the guy's got all the time in the world. I'd be so scared about a panic. I'd be so scared about it. I saw that guy. You can climb a hunting blind with a rifle on his back. Look at this psycho. God, he's like a slug.

He's very capable. He looks like to jam. He looks like Dojamb and Earl. What a pull. Wow. I mean, you've got to hand to the guy for just being independent. Yeah. I mean to him.

I want to make sure he's a murderer before I make fun for being a... Right. Maybe the guy in the backseat was a real... Disabled. He's definitely a murderer. He's in jail. He's in jail right now? You better believe it.

found a nearby yard. That's what you want is your bunk mate. He's not ready. He was tracked to Virginia hospital and arrested, set to be... He was in a hospital. Why was he in a hospital? Maryland? Well...

Did they get into a fight? So, rarely the news. So the guy punched him and he had to go to the hospital? So he was tracked to a hospital. So the guy who he shot was the guy punching him? Down's about right? You know what I mean? If you're punching a guy with no arms and no legs,

he's got to do something to fight. Right. Shoot you. But that's what's weird. It's like, it says... It's so happy. But it says, if it says he went to a hospital, like, why didn't he have to go to a hospital? Mad, right. Mad rifle.

That's what they say. Riding high in April. Yeah, it says officer's track in the hospital. That's all it says. Yeah, but why was he in the hospital? So did they get in a fist fight and he pulled the gun on the guy who was beating his ass? Let's get him to a hospital. He's probably fine.

They were like, holy shit. Take him to where they are. But it's a weird situation. If he was at a hospital, like, why was he at a hospital? Yeah. We don't know the whole story. I don't know. Anyway, he can...

This is the part I read. He plays a mean cornhole. Mean cornhole. He asked him to pull the body out of the car. They said no. They got out of the car instead, and he drove off with the body. Still in the car. Oh, boy.

How's he going to get him out of the car? He's got no arms. Yeah. Is that Bieber in the middle? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was the same crime. I was like, wait. Celebrity.

What did Bieber get arrested for? By the way, go back up. Look how dashing Bieber is in his mugshot. Did people get arrested for looking cute? Perfectly straight teeth. Lohan's not bad either. Lohan's not bad there. Lohan's hot again.

I co-starred in a movie. She's back. Oh, good. You co-starred in a movie with Lohan? Yeah, worst movie of all time. Who was that? Inappropriate comedy. Directed by the Shamwell guy.

Lohan was in that? Lohan, we had an Academy Award winner, Adrian Brody. What? What? Adrian Brody was in that? Who's the chick who got drunk driving, who was in that? the avatar. Boom, that one at the end.

Rodriguez. What? I didn't actually get a DUI. Rob Schneider's in that? Oh, but everybody. Who's the middle lady? Is that really the worst movie ever? It was on Rotten Tomatoes.

It was the worst movie of all time. And for a while it had zero. How did Adrian Brody get roped into that? Yeah, what happened to him did he get roped into that? He was on a downturn of his career. He came back. He was on a down swing. You know what's crazy about Brody?

He's banging Harvey's life. Oh, you know who else in there? Oh, oh, oh. Oh, Theo Vaughn, Mountain Klimber. Wow. Ari Shafir, there we go. Oh, the amazing racist. With some writing by Christina Posicki, did some writing on this.

Okay. Dante is the racist assistant. Rob Schneider is JD. That's what I was offering black people of a free trip back to Africa. You really did it, man. You really went for it back then. So when you got the script, did you realize it was going to be that bad? There was no script.

Vince came to me. It was like, hey, those amazing races you did. Can we make more of those? I'm like, I don't own them. And he goes, can we make new ones? And I was like, yeah, if you want to. Hey, it earned $172K. $625.

Per the evening. There were all these pictures of one person in the theater. I like how it says inappropriate, but for some reason, APP was about apps. Dude, it was all about apps. It was a whole backstory line. None of it made any sense. Dating apps? Yeah.

But wait, what year was this? Oh, okay. It's a good question. 2013. I remember I saw... Was there even apps in 2013? It was just beginning of apps.

It was a big deal. It was a big deal. Dude, this movie was so fun. I've never heard of this in my life. We went to the border and I was doing a setup scene and some people were fucking running and crossing. But it's so crazy. Like, Adrian Broder is a fucking legit actor.

He was down and then back up. They gave him money. Who gets down? Do a movie with you? Well, he was in a separate scene. He was in flirty hairy. Flirty hairy. Flirty Harry.

So, but why did... What the fuck is going on? He went to jail, too. He went to jail, too. Look at Theo. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Bro, we should have a screening of this on the next Protect Our Parks. I would love to see this. Let's watch it and talk. Bro, this looks so bad. This is horrible. It's so bad. Who's the girl? The girl with the brunette right there.

Rodrigues. Oh, the girl from aliens? Isn't she in aliens too? Nah, I don't know. Maybe. See if she's in aliens. She's Vin Diesel's lady. That's crazy.

They got her in this? Kids and cages. Getting arrested. How does this Shamwow guy talk everybody into this? Money, bro. G.S. gave me advice. It was like, hey, they want me to do this thing. He goes, Ari, every once in a while.

So people in Hollywood. Oh, there is. Shane, you can't laugh at this. Young Ari. Should I sit this one out? We'll take it from here. I will say. So, like, you guys were making dog shit like this.

Yeah. And then I was like, because I wasn't really around for that. Yeah. And then it's like, man, I can't believe cancel culture exists. It's like, oh, now I get it. Yeah. Somebody has to put an end to this horseshit. Yeah.

That's so bad. 2013. I'm with the lids now, dude. That's crazy. That's crazy. 2013. Yeah. Those Amazing Racist videos were probably like 2005, six, seven.

Yeah, five, I think. Five, something like that. I think those videos were before the whole Mncia thing at the store. That's right, because he was like, who were you to say anything about racial jokes? Somebody was like, Amazing Racist? Yeah. He was like, that's the point. Before that, yeah.

Wow. That's crazy that got Adrian Brody because he's probably paid money to try to get that released, like deleted. I've never heard of it. No one even knows about it. They do not. They do now. That's right. Millions of people are currently listening.

Yeah, you guys are actually going to make a fucking ton of money on that movie. Shamma, guys. I love him. Oh, yeah. He did kill Tony. Recently? Yeah. He got caught biting that hook.

No, the hooker was biting his tongue and he had to get off my fucking tongue. And he was like, he did something. He was also to stop biting my tongue. That's not so bad. What was he doing his tongue? She bit it. Why would you have your tongue involved in a hooker at all? French.

What's happening? Yeah, you don't kiss a hooker. Well, you do if you're drunk. passionately. Yeah. Sometimes you pay for just kisses. Let's go. I wish you were my girl.

We knew a guy at the comedy store who would pay extra. I'm not going to say who, but who would pay extra to fuck, to go down on hookers without a. Really? Yes. To go down. You don't know him. Wow. He would pay extra for that?

Oh, I do know. Wait, he's the fucking man. He's the funniest. He would be open about it. He's the funniest. Nah, they won't let you go down in them. The sham wild guy is running for Congress? I'll vote for it.

Make America grow some balls again. Like here, it's like Cedar Park. What? Yeah. What is his first nine bills in Congress? He's posing with a headset? No tax on Social Security. That's reasonable.

Great. Parental Class View. What does that mean? Many times have ring cameras protect our homes. We do not. Oh, and classes. A wokebuster. Oh, ring cameras in classes.

That's not a bad idea. N triple X on X. Pornography on. Oh, boo. Sounds like this guy wants to jerk off to kids. And he's pretending to be a congressman to go, we should set up cameras in schools. Healthy Screen Act. I like number five.

Cowboy coats for kids. Has to be an issue in a customer service. That's not bad. That's not bad. That's not bad. Like, agent! Yeah. That'll ruin India.

Oh, interesting. Children need to pray. Oh, come on. A lot of kids stuff coming out of this guy. Yeah. Does he have children? Cowboy coats for kids. Find out if he actually has children.

Doubt it. Let's find out the shamal. Oh, we got a Jew here. Shlomi. Oh, he got to tell you, he sent me a shamwale jacket. Did you wear it entirely out of shamwows? Did you wear it everywhere? He is a charming fellow.

He must be great when it rains out and that thing weighs 80 pounds. Wear that for the roast. I go, great. Now I weigh 375 pounds. Find out if that guy has a family. His story's actually pretty interesting. It's kind of odd that he's concentrating so much. He would just sell shit in Atlantic City like on the streets.

I think it was a bed-head. And he was just great at it. And he goes, I'll take out, like, Byron Allen, like, late night spots and just sell to more people. He must have made so much money. He made a ton of money. He made a fortune. Shamwale's nice. I'll tell you, I got a good sham while story.

One time I was staying at my buddy's house, and I stood up in the middle of the night. I was – he gave me his bed, so I was in that. But his roommate was in the other bed. It was in college. And I just stood up and pissed on the other guy's bed while he was in it. Oh, damn. And then in the morning, I got a shamwale. He soaked it.

all up and just breasted against this guy. Is that what it does? It soaks? Yeah. It soaps really well. Well, it's a shammie cloth. A shammie cloth is the thing they used to wash cars with forever. He said he went to seven companies in Korea. He goes, send me each one.

He goes, this one's the best one. All right, put my name on that and run them out. So is it like a synthetic version of a shammie cloth? Because the shammie cloth is like an animal skin cloth that you use to clean cars with. No idea. Yeah, shammy cloth is like you wash the car and then the car has all this water on it. You use the shammy cloth first and then you put. polish it with like microfiber

cloths. It's what it is. I actually yeah it's very absorbent. Yeah, I like the shami thing. Yeah, it's a good product. You bring them up, reminds me of, yeah. Yeah, I used to do that. Yeah, I used to do that. Jamie. I used to work in a car wash for the studio. I used to work in an auto auction. Yeah, you go. And a dealership and a garage. Oh, there you go.

I used to do it all the time. Which is why tires is a good show. It's out of knowledge. You're right what you know. You need a muscle car. You need a muscle car, Shane. I, hey, Shane, you know what you need? You know what you need? You know what you need? You're doing it wrong. No, no, no, he's not doing it wrong.

I'm happy with that one. That's the one's great. But how about also? How about also you get like a modern muscle car that works really well? Do you know about Revology Mustangs? Pull it up. Have you ever seen my 68 Mustang? Yes.

My bullet Mustang? Yeah, rocks, right? There's a company, this company Revology, they're the shit. They make a brand new 1969 Mustang. Well, that's what I wanted. Was? Yeah. I wanted an old, you know what I wanted?

Look at that. This is Revology. What did you? It's recreated it? So this is, no, the guy, Tom Scarpello, he worked at Ford. He made the Ford G-T. Can you imagine me getting out of that in fucking gym shorts? Me?

I do it all the time. Yeah, but you look cool. I would look like a fucking idiot. You look like a fucking American. You look American. So that's what I have. I have that car on the left. I have that car in the left.

I have, what? You have that one of the blue? Well, mine is actually green. That is beautiful. Steve McQueen's. I have a green one, a 68, but the point is he makes the new one, which is even cooler looking, the 69. The 609. Go to models. 67 is the one.

Go to models. Or 66 and a half. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The new 69 is the shit. That one, the boss, the boss 429. Click on that. So it's just the old body with a new car. But it's not an old body.

It's a brand new exact version. Yes, it's a full factory. It's a full factory, but it's completely reliable. I can't drive that. Yes, you can. I will force you at gunpoint to drive that. You need one of those. You need a black one.

No, I need a 97 land cruiser. Ooh, that's a cool car. Oh, you do? Yeah. That's what I was like... I have a 95 with a supercharged corvette engine. And I needed a new car. You need a little bit of...

What you got is perfect. What you got is perfect? You need a nice Buick Regal. Do you want to tell people what you got? You need a Libera. No, they'll tell me what you got. But what you got... See, that's what I should be driving.

That's a real car. I love those. Jamie, pull up mine. I have a 1990 that TLC made me, and I had to put a supercharged Corvette engine in it, and then I had Colvin Automotive, Change the Supercharger, Jack it up to 800 horsepower. It's got dual exhaust now. Oh, it's a total apocalypse car. It's got a gun safe in it.

It's got everything. Who's the nerd? That's my friend Jonathan Ward who fucking built the car for me. He's the man. Now, Jamie, call up a 2017 to Toyota Corolla. That guy needs a wedge. No, but you need a 69 boss. That's what you need.

Oh, you got the wench. Yeah, oh, it's got everything. You're amazing of 69 boss. Well, I got this when I was worried that, well, I had a family and I was worried that at one point in time, L.A. was going to experience an apocalypse, and I had to be able to drive somewhere where there's no roads. So I got an extra large gas tank on that thing. Nice. I have steel bumpers all around, rock sliders on the side. I wanted to make it so I could just go.

Run over protesters to get away. I can't wait to die at the gates in front of your house. when the apocalypse happens. You're not going to die? I can't wait for someone. Please let's on. I'm going to let you in. Come on, don't.

Please, please, gentlemen. How dare you? Save me. You're parked there like, do not get out of your car. By then, we'll be at the ranch. We'll have the ranch. We'll have the ranch fully operational by now.

But between now and then, you need a fucking Mustang. You need a boss. Brother. Is it Mustang the only one they make? Can we get like an old Porsche? Can I get an old... Well, there's plenty of companies to do that.

I'm too big for an old Porsche. You're too big for a Porsche. Yeah. Land Cruiser This is another company called RSR Recreations They make a 9-11 You can get it with no fucking AC

No nothing It only weighs 2,000 pounds Ha ha ha ha Dancing Jews I knew about it on 910 Dancing Israelis They're none of the building Don't Google dancing Israelis

Whatever you do Don't read into that story You'll go like hey what Wait a second A-pack what A-pack How's that money? Okay, back, all right, there's my fucking platform.

Okay, what about... Let's get rid of APEC. Let's get rid of all those fucking laws. Let's get rid of all lobbies. Yeah. All lobbies. Not just the ones that are convenient now. You need a muscle car.

If you don't want to get that, how about a new muscle car? How about a Shelby Super Snake R? Brother, I'm never driving that, bro. I bet you should. You need one car. You need one car. You need one car to drive the car. I have a pretty small.

In a tiny garage. What are you a communist? You need to get a new house. First of all, you need to do your fucking baller now. So you need a new house. Look at that. That's a Shelby Super Snake R. Oh, he can't drive that.

Do you know what that would look like? Me getting out or bringing a girl there and going, you know what it looks like? I'm not going to get hard. 850 fucking horsepower. That's going to be great to pull into a parking lot. Shut up, Ari. Get on the highway.

You got to take that in the open road. I was telling Ari back when Ari first started making money. I go, Ari, please get a nice. car please just get a nice car how about a Cadillac black wing 20222 2nd how about these how about a CT 5 V black wing how about that can't have a caddy come I agree if I saw someone talking about me fucking rule just got a sensible Mitsubishi that is not your dad's car that's a black guy that thing has almost 700 horsepower very reliable you can solder the fucking hood shut for five years why would you do that

a re you have you have money too are you drive me crazy I don't I'm trying to get to buy a BMW M3 in like 2008. Oh, that'd be nice. I love a BMW. Why didn't you do it? Because I had to put all my money to this goddamn storytelling show. But you're going to make it back. I put my money to that. Yeah, but you made it back already. You spent more money. Yeah, I did make the budget back.

The end available right now. I've tried for years, maybe decades, to try to talk you into buying a nice car. Yeah. He can't. Look at that hat. It's New York. You can't have a nice car. Yeah, you can't have a nice car. I got an old baby. You've got enough money to have other places. She's got a house out here.

Get a house out here with a garage And keep some nice cars in it So you could fucking roll out You have enough money for that? I do not You spent all your money in Mazelon I'll give you the fucking money Tell me what car you want to buy it

Well hold on a second You're buying houses Oh, let me be buying a car Not a house I'm still waiting to get a watch I held out he said watch I'll hold out for car He gave you a watch

You do it That's true It's a piece of shit It's a Rolex It's a Rolex I would buy you a watch If I buy you a watch Will you wear it?

Sure How many times? Every day I'm thinking of the same I shower with this Right But if I bought you a real watch, would you wear a Rolex? One of those astronaut fuckers that wear a Rolex.

Okay. You're not going to wear those? Yeah, but I don't want to. I'm going to get you a Speedmaster. Pause, hold on. Omega Speedmaster. Can I tell you what he wants? Shamwell was a Speedmaster.

He wants that size watch, not a bulky one. He wants a thinner watch. I like a small watch. This is not too big. This is a Rolex. That's crazy. But it's on a rubber strap. It's a little understated.

G-shocks are great. G-shock rule. Sick. Would you wear that? Indigo? I like a metal band, but yeah, it's a good-looking watch. $100,000? What did Louis get you?

He got me the oyster face, or what do you call it? Oh, okay. It's really nice, and it's inscribed in the back. Thanks for working with me, L.C. Yeah, but you don't even wear it. It's on my shelf. It's propped up. Okay.

So if I buy you an omega, you're going to wear it. Hell yeah. You don't have to buy me an omega. Shut the fuck it up. It's over. Norman, you're going to love this. Eaget gave me the coolest thing that I have, which was Norm McDonald's

Cup on the late night with Letterman. The actual mug from the late night. From the what? Pull that up. From Norm doing The talk show?

Oh, Letterman. That he brought it home. Wow, that's a great one. That's the best gift I got. That's great. I would protect that. That'd be scared that someone would break that. Imagine if a chick comes over your house and drops that.

You have a cup of tea. I would punch me. Oh, I protected. It's on my mantle. It's in the middle of, it's above my family. Wow, that's great. I put, like, ring ropes around it to cushion it. Yeah, I probably should.

Mickey Mantle. Yeah. Mickey Mantle? That's a good one. That's the best one. Those Rodney notes are great. Oh, my God. Isn't they amazing in the green room?

Yeah, that's pretty cool. The handwritten Rodney notes from his Tonight Show special. It's pretty cool. Whitney got us those. Rodney's wife donated it. She found out about the club. She knew we were doing it, and she donated it to us. Wow.

Very cool. It's a cool thing to see in there. It's amazing. And you get to read them, and you see how he like would like make the punchlines bold and all the nose, then bold punchline. Oh, yeah. It's cool just, it's like the feeling, the spirit of like joke writing is in that room.

He was a drug addict. No, that was pretty out there. The coolest thing about Robbie was that when we enjoyed drugs, I don't know if he was a drug addict. When weed was illegal and cops were coming to a club, he was in, he was just smoking wheat, he would just go up to him. Hello, officer, how you do it, just holding. He knew he was immune. No one's going to touch him. I told you guys when I worked as a security guard, when I got to see Rodney perform when I worked as a security guard.

Whoa. I don't beat up a guy with a walkie-talkie. No, I didn't beat him out. Oh. No, that was Allie Cat. That was my boss. That was Ali-Kat. That was the first day.

That was the first thing I heard you say. I was like, damn, Joe's old. That was his name. He was like, no, that was my boy. Allie Cat. That was the boss. Allie Cat was the boss. So what happened was one of the guys from my Taekwendo Gym got hired to be.

security. And they were like, bro, it's like 50 bucks an hour. It's really cool. You get to see concerts. So we all went, and I got to see Rodney there. Rodney was backstage

with nothing on but a bathrobe. Open? He was completely naked. No, I didn't see that. I saw him walking around with slippers in a bathrobe. And then he went on stage

with nothing but a bathrobe. Damn. Batthrope naked underneath it. Went on stage that way? That's amazing. In 1986. Wow. And fucking destroyed.

I was 19. Wow. mesmerized and back then I wasn't even thinking about doing comedy I was just fighting and I was enjoying it and I was like this is this guy so free I remember thinking yes like this guy's on stage with a I mean destroying I get no respect no respect at all and the fucking place is going nuts wow wow punchline after punchline after punchline I was 19 I mean I was blown away and you were working I was working yeah that's a good gig had to see the shows that was also the job

that I quit when, you know, the whole thing would happen with COVID where Neil Young pulled his music off Spotify because I was giving out vaccine misinformation. Wait, is that until he couldn't get a play to elsewhere? Yeah. It was not really. He didn't even own his music. It's all bullshit. But anyway, I didn't shit on him at the time, even though he's trying to ruin my life. Because I was a Neil Young fan.

And I told the story about how when I was a security guard, the last day on the job was a Neil Young concert because a riot broke out. And a riot broke out. I was like, I'm not fighting for 50 bucks an hour. I fucking zipped up my hoodie and I just walked out and I never even got my last check. Damn. It was cold out and Great Woods in Mansfield

has a whole lawn. It's an amphitheater. So the front part that's all seated has a cover over it and then the back part's a lawn. And it was a little cold out so these fucking animals at the Neil Young concert

started lighting bonfires. And so the security guys had to come over and tell them hey put out the fires and drunk guys were like, fuck you. And my friend Larry punched some guy and Larry was like the nicest guy in the world.

I'm like, oh my God. having a war and so the fight started breaking up and as soon as like my friends were safe and we were I'm like let's get the fuck out of here I put out my hoodie and I just quit I'm like I'm not fighting these fucking people and that was my last day on the job as security guard bonfires and fist fighting at a fucking Neil Young County yeah it's so crazy yeah it was smear pussy 10 Taekwondo black belts including like national level competitors that were all security guards they were just waiting to kick somebody into a coma and Neil Young fans.

We never, I mean, I know. Oh, you got them. Oh, finally. Let me hear, okay, let's hear this. Hold on, hold on, hold on. All right, go. Hold on.

There's the volume. I don't know. There's no sound of course. I remember that was COVID time, huh? Yep. I remember you wear that. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I was like, I'll add the song. What's the with the glasses? I don't know. I was doing something. It's skiggles. Oh my god. This is brutal. I forgot that was my best part.

Because I said, I'll add the music. Oh, it was like a hostage video. Please turn this off. This is horrific. I love the DeRosa so much. Oh, man, he took it so serious. That's not as fun as Roddy naked. That was tough.

God damn, Shane. You killed me. I did not enjoy that at all. That was bad. I'll turn it. Did you see the Scientology speed runs that we're going around? What's that, Jamie? These kids are breaking into Scientology places all over the country.

Oh, they're breaking into them? Norman. The door? They're doing it's just turn. Speed runs? Yeah. No, let me see this. They're trying to get as deep as they can possibly get.

Into a Scientology building? A scientific... The secret... Speed runs. Wow. That guy at the White House Correspondence. Yeah. So cold.

Oh, you want to be a secretion? No, I know. Wow. Damn. Speed runs. It's such a great way to go through something. So this is a trend? They'll kill you, those guys.

To the point right now that they've taken the handles off the doors on the outside. I went. I went. Me and Natasha went to a Scientology once. Really? Yeah. And they kind of got me a little. They were like, can we get some information from you?

I'm like, I'm in my home address if you want. And she was like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like, I don't know. They're getting me. The book they saw was, it's good for ages 8 to 8. Wow. So this kid just ran through.

Whoa. Yeah. Maybe whites are coming back. Causing as much chaos as they can in like 10 seconds. They're not really doing anything other than just. Good for them. And all these other people behind them, are they Scientologists? Are these just all the kids?

Also, there's more than one kid. It's multiple kids. 30 of them. Good for them. Because someone will get through. Oh, look how deep they're going. Whoa. What's inside?

What are you guys hiding? I love these guys. No one really has ever seen inside the. They're having fun. Oh, how weird. They just run out the exit. Well, they're like the second biggest real estate holders in Los Angeles, I think. Yeah, they're crazy.

Oh my God, look at this guy trying. I think it's like China and then Scientology raid with Jesus. They're trying to open the door. Oh, I love it. Oh, this is so crazy. They deserve this. Those guys are cunts. Let me look at the inside though, too.

I've never seen it. Scientology has a voting block in Los Angeles. Wow, it's pretty cool inside. It's like a museum. Look at that. Wow, I want to go in there. Wow. You kind of want to go in there.

You take a photo outside their building, the old Dothathlet. Well, I remember during the 90s, a lot of people were thinking about joining Scientology because it was really good for your career back then. They had an acting class. Yeah. They had Will Smith, Tom Cruise, Chavolta. Brian Callan was in an acting class with a Scientology guy. And I remember he was telling me that a lot of these Scientologists, they get really far in acting

because, like, you get connected. Right. Deepest recorded Scientology run. I just started recently I think like this month Good for them Look at this guy moving Look this guy with the fucking suits

Trying to stop him They put a hand out as if that's gonna do it Very unenthusiastic Hey did you guys see the fat principal Who stopped the school shooting? Yeah That was amazing What?

Yeah I think it was in Virginia He got shot The guy came into the building with a gun And this fucking principal just rushes him Graves him, tackles him Holds on the gun He got shot in the leg apparently Bad ass.

What a hero. And then he went into a party. Who? The prom. Yeah, it was the prom like a week later and everybody went crazy and cheered. He became prom king. He stopped. Very emotional.

Stop the shooting. He stopped a shooting. Stop a shooting. Yeah, I mean, stopped it in its tracks as the guy came in through the front door. You do have one moment where like you see it, you realize and you're like, let's go. They have the video. Injured in school shooting. Shooter identified as former student.

Former student. Oklahoma, that's where it is. Wayne coin. Yeah. Wow. Look at the guy. That's the guy. But if you watch the video, the guy fucking literally threw himself on the guy with the gun.

Completely heroic. Show me his face again, dude. That's the guy who loves bruskees. Oh, yeah. Barbecue. Sandwiches. Give me a barbecue. Bruskees.

He's probably not worried about his death. Hey, Mark, I can't even drink that yet. You know what I'm saying? He's ready to go to Val. He's ready to go. He's a Viking. That's an American Viking, dude. You get fat of shit.

You drink beers. You go, fuck it. I've been waiting for somebody to kill me. Brother. He's a hero. God damn it. Didn't Cash Patel say that about somebody to see you in Valhalla? About Charlie Kirk.

Yeah. Cornyest fucking shit ever. Oh, that's a rough one. Your watch is over. We'll see you in Valhalla, brother. That's a rough one. Shut up. I was watching a video on what a 30-odd-six round actually would do to a neck.

Oh, no. Here we go. Yeah. They showed like what the actual rifle round would do to a person's neck versus like what you saw from Charlie Kirk. There's a lot of people that don't think it was really. that guy on the roof that shot him that was something else. Some people think it was a microphone.

But the problem, yeah, the microphone shot him in the neck. Like there was some sort of an implemented destruction device. The problem I have with that is you don't see any fire coming off of the microphone. Right. Like, if a microphone is going to kill you, it's going to shoot you somehow or another, it's got to be an explosive charge and then you'll see a flash and then something will projectile from that into your neck. They say a microphone shot him in the neck. Yeah, somebody shot him, right?

If a rifle shot him. If a rifle shoots your neck, wouldn't it go through? You would imagine it would. And in these videos that I saw, it, like, shows a massive destruction. So what they're using is ballistic gel. And so they have, like, a fake neck and a fake head and, like, a spine. They show ballistic gel what it looks like. And it just blows the neck completely apart.

It's just splatter, a giant opening wound. Because this tissue is very soft. I mean, this is not durable tissue. And he got shot, and it was not even an exit hole. Did they catch the guy? supposedly You don't know that? You don't know the most of it?

Well, you're not too Peachtew. I remember at a bar in Guatemala someone's like, who's Charlie Kirk? I'm like, I think he makes fun of college kids. You're right about that. That's not wrong.

And then I was like, why? Like, I think he got killed. I was like, oh. There's many, many, many, many, many layers to that story. Pass the weed. And his wife. His wife is very happy.

Like, yeah, anyway, bro. Pass that over. Pass the weeds. Yeah. There's many levels I don't mean to come down on you but that's That's the weed Oh man I don't even know that guy past the weed

Dude I was looking for weed And he's smoking I'm like I'm looking for that weed In Guatemala? Yeah at a bar What is the legality of weed in Guatemala Same as like five years ago here Like do it quietly Oh you can get arrested though

And you can't but Guatemala in jail Imagine if we had to bail you out Like fucking the 18 We would never bail you out I would never bail you out I would I'd go there. Let him sit there for a little.

You would fly to Guatemala? 100%. 100%. Yeah, if I was in jail in Guatemala, 100% we'd get them out. Now, that'd be fun, though, to let him sit for a few days. He needs to learn his lessons. I can't have a word.

What lesson? Of course I'm going to get weed. I'm the guy who gets weed. The lesson is keep getting weed, man. We'd have to go get them. I'd make you guys come with me. We'd have to film them. Yeah, protect our parks from a fucking national park.

Whomellem. Whoever filmed your fucking, that whole run that you did, love that guy. Yeah, he'll put some witty quotes Get him in there Get Ari in there Look at this State of emergency

Because gang prisons Oh you'd be Prison riots and the gangs He'd be in that gang Getting fucked Good to get you back in the camps I can't have you in there Ari Getting fucked by these Guatemalan dudes

Dude those guys who gave me weed Who told me about Charlie Kirk They were like What do you think about Trump I'm like I don't really know And then I figured out How to turn it away from that conversation I go

How's your guy And they go Our guy sucks He's so crooked Maduro No It was somebody Guatemala.

Oh, sorry, wrong country. You just turn it on their guy, they love talking about it. Yeah, it's not a lot. Oh, that's far away. Yeah, it's like, how's yours like, he's crooked. He takes money from corporations. I'm like, can't we do that? Boo.

Yeah. Better than El Salvador. That place is even crazier. No, what they did, they stopped all the crimes. Didn't they have a ton of gangs? They threw them all in giant prisons and stopped all the crime. They drove them out, killed the rest. Can we do that?

Their crime dropped off a fucking crime. Maybe that's why it's a big story here, Mark. Yeah, I guess. No, that guy is a huge story to everyone there. They all love him. Look at this. Agreed. Everyone who was there loves him.

Everyone who came in later, it was like, oh, so-so. That's El Salvadorish prison. We should do that to horse millions. Look at the guy the back. He's kind of fat. It's a couple chunks in there. I bet there's a few guys in there that don't belong. Yeah, yeah.

There's a story here that anyone with a tattoo would get arrested. And they're like, no, no. It's anyone with a tattoo of a cop you've killed with his badge number. They get arrested. They capture. All the Nate Diaz's. All Nate Deezes. Yeah, they do look like Nate.

Just Nate. They're all going to stay. How we go, what's up? You got their country back. Damn, the tattoo guys are so cleaning up out there. Wait, right. Let's see if we can see. Bro, look at that guy's face.

When you tattoo your face up like that, you are not fucking around. So a lot of the face tattoos are loved ones they've raped. No. You just make that up? No, I didn't just make it up. What? You get extra points for raping a mom, a sister, an aunt. Your own mom?

Yeah, buddy. Wow. This can't. It wasn't a great situation. Where are you coming up with this? Talking to El Salvadorans. Oh, my God. In El Salvador.

I think your Spanish was a little broken. They had a soccer game. Can you see Spanish at all? Oh, yeah. They had a soccer game. Say something. Order pizza. I'm a pizza.

Pisa. Oh, come on. That was Yo-Caro Taco Bell with pizza. They had a soccer game they played in the poor town where they cut babies out of a woman and play soccer with it. Oh, my God. Hey, make soccer interesting. Their gangs are trained by U.S., but pretty strong. So he got rid of it.

But what they did was nuts, though. They just made these giant super prisons and just put everybody in there, and the crime dropped off a cliff. Damn. I went to Independence Day parade there. It was wild how much everyone is like, what are you doing here? This is wild.

Our guy is the best. It's the only country where they're like, we love our guy. It was wild. else we hate our guy, they love their guy. They wouldn't even let him in to Nicaragua. Yeah, you got to pretend. They wouldn't let R.E. into Nicaragua. Fake news.

They love that guy. They loved that guy. They was the first time they could go out in public and like, and like, do anything. What's his name? What's the name of the Elsel? He's half Arab. They don't care. What kind of?

I don't know. They're good kind. Is there? Not Palestine, no. No, no, no. I just mean. Do it. Is it Jewish?

I bet. No, no. Not supported the claim that specific face tattoos in El Salvador, someone who was raped a family member is not supported by credible evidence. By the way, what credible evidence do you get? Talk to so many people there, so disagree with this. It's hard to know because how many people are documenting this stuff in like peer-reviewed papers. You know what I mean?

Like what is perplexity drawing from? Yeah. People in the streets are like, this is what happens. Yeah. Well, I'm sure a lot of it did happen. I'm sure a lot of it happened. There was a guy that used to be the fucking doorman at the improv, and he showed me this cartel video of this guy getting eaten by a pit bull.

And it still haunts my dreams. He was tied up arms and legs, and the pit bull was eating his dick. The pit bull was just completely locked on this guy's crotch, and this guy was screaming. Michael Dick. And he goes, hey, man, check this out. My friend sent me this from the cartel. And I'm like, why are you showing this?

I have to go on stage in the three minutes. Oh, man. Dick Wolf. I was trying to do the sound. I couldn't do it. In my head, I was thinking about doing it. I couldn't think of it. What?

That was pretty good. It was like, James was doing sound. That was damn good. Michael Winslow? Just that this giant-headed pit bull was locked on this guy's dick, and he was screaming, and I've never forgot it. Well, it's, yeah, the internet hit us at different ages like that, because I got hit with those when I was young. You're right? And I was like, that's enough.

Yeah. That's not fun. But if I was an adult and somebody showed me something. Something horrific like that that does stick with you. Oh, yeah. We have a text chain. The Instagram is the worst shit that either one of us find on the internet. They don't really toss those around anymore.

The cartel videos. Yeah, this was. You gotta find those now. This was someone who was a cop sent it to this guy. And then this guy showed me. God, the shit cops must see. Oh, right. Tough.

They need the Ibogame. They got high suicide. Oh, very high. Very high. All first responders, they all have much higher suicide rates in general. That's not normal to see that much damage. Imagine you're a guy who just shows up at car accidents every day. Every day.

You see one. You're like, I got to go to therapy. Right. You see a family. Three a week. Legs and splatter and dead babies and fucking moms. Have somebody go, am I going to be okay? And you look at his arm and leg over there and you're like, fuck.

Yeah. And people hate you on top of that. That's true. That sucks. You can't win. Especially cops. But first responders, people don't even hate him. Nobody really hates ambulance drivers.

No. No. Or firemen. They're firemen, yeah. Well... It's crooked. What? They're not.

Boy, boys, we gotta wrap this up. I don't think we do it. I think we did it. I think we just started. We're just getting cooking. Jamo's drunk. You're not going anywhere, brother. You're going to bong another beer.

I got to do a thing soon. What do you have to do a thing on my kids school? You got to do a thing of your kids' group. Tonight? Yeah, I got to go a thing. Oh, you're going to rink a booze. You can't be drunk for this. You can bong one more and then that's it, Joe.

Allegedly. What are you got a class? A thing. I gotta go to a thing. Show and tell. You can't bonob beer. PTA? No, I can't.

I can't. You can bong a beer before it gets. No. I gotta. I gotta be out of here in a little bit. Talent show? I get to the bathroom more time, but we're not ending here.

How many times you got into the bathroom? Two? I haven't gone once, you fucking dirty. You drank a lot of competition with you. Yeah, you drink a fucking bullsled. I haven't even seen you refill that thing. I make the noise every time. Twice.

It's true. Twice. I remember the noise twice Oh, so nice to be back, boys It is. It is good to be back. This is so fun. It was going to be back. I don't want to speak out of school, but this might be the best one.

We've missed you, dude. It was weird not knowing where you were. It was very uncomfortable. I didn't like it. Sorry. I was completely fine with it. Dude, when I texted you when I was back, you're like, who is this?

I was just like, hey, it's the Jew. I'd say some very specific things. Like, who is this? Like, you know the fuck it is. You're like, yes, motherfucker. You're like, you get a million. I know. I started getting text messages from an unknown number.

Me too. New things about me. I'm like, who the fuck is this? Yes, you did that. But I've been meaning to change my phone number for so long. Like, every time a new one comes in, I'm not changing it. I'm like, oh, fuck this. I got the same one since seventh grade.

Oh, here we go. Here we go. Let's go. Oh, tits. This is Moscow whores. No. Oh, no. This is Florida.

Oakland Coliseum. Oakland. Wow. Oakland was late. This is what the Raiders play. Teddy. What year? I will never get tired of the song.

Wow. I'll never get tired of the song. We can't go out on this because they can't hear it. You got a bono. Wait, they actually, they're not allowed to hear this? I don't know. Sometimes they'll see what happens. But yeah, that's a hell of a tune.

Let's get J-mo one. I went to see them recently in Texas. Really? Yeah, but it's like, it's different. I will. So many people are dead. Right. So it's not the same band.

You got to see them when they're all there. It's like. Yeah. It's like, it's a tribute band a little bit. But they did great. It was still the great songs. But party is like, ah, I wish the real guys were alive. It's like, if you wanted to see a Hendrix tribute band, you just get sad.

Tribute band. Right. Yeah, you just get sad. Like, I missed Hendrix. I don't want to see Let Zepp again. Well, you know what's weird. It's like Journey. They have, like, that guy, Steve, what is his name?

The lead singer of Journey? Steve. What's Steve Perry? Steve Perry. He's still alive. Yeah. And he doesn't sing for Journey anymore. There's another guy who sings for Journey.

journey. He's like a Filipino guy. You could replace drummer. You can play his guitars. You cannot replace lead singer. Right. No way. Exactly. I need a front man. Although I saw a foreigner. Really? With the new guy. How was it? Were they cooking? I was so excited. Yeah? See Jupox Hero live? I saw that. Bro, I saw it. Foreigner sticks and death leopard. I was there for foreigner. And then I worked in a factory the next day at 4 a.m. Damn. What kind of factory? What are you making? No way!

I shoveled glue into a machine for 12 hours the next day. Glue? Glues and ice cream? Yeah, we were making the packaging. Glue? We made the packaging. Oh, wow. That's crazy.

Let's get free ice cream? That's crazy. You could stick your hand in the ice cream. We don't make the ice cream you love. We could stick the hand of the ice cream. Glue it to a machine. Sounds like fucking a sex doll. It was, yeah, a lot of glue.

All right. When you decide when you're going to do these walkabout? Like, how far out? Well in advance. Probably a year. So, like, how much time between now and the next walkabout? No plans to the next one, yeah. You've done Asia, South America.

Russia. Russia. No interest in Russia. Yeah, go to Zimbabwe. Go get arrested, faggot. Africa, you cool. Yeah, do it, pussy. Come on, you bitch.

Go to Ghana. Go to Ghana. Go to fucking Gaza. I don't know where it would be next. I dare you. Gaza's got no good coffee shops. Not anymore. They're roasted.

They do. They're roasted. They definitely did. Jesus Christ. Off the cup. Off the cup. You son of a bitch. Yeah, I don't know where else could you go.

Yeah, where you've done everywhere. I want to go back to Asia. There's more of Asia. There's a lot of Asia. No, I know. I really want to go to Philippines. Bombshell sex arachments suit against who's that guy? Lorna.

This is nothing to do with it. J.P. Morgan branded complete fabrication as John Doe unmasked. What is this? You're showing us. The story we're talking about earlier today. Oh, with the lady? That's the guy who made a fake. Yeah. That's the guy. That's the guy. So this is the guy who worked there? I knew. It was fabricated. Breggle-Rug-A-Roy. So everything is fabricated.

Everything is a young guy. Let me see the guy? So what is this? Show Lorna again. Go down and show the girl. Show the lady. Indian, uh, Jared Fogle. Oh, hello. Think of her being like, not bad. Wood. But imagine her. She's walking around and everybody thinks that she said those

horrible things and talked about it tits like their cannons. Cannon. I'm so sorry you're feeling embarrassed about your bush. I'm not embarrassed. So this guy just made it all up? Yeah, look at it. Is that the alleged? Come on. A virgin. He's got a fucking Lenore no nose. Hmm. He does.

Have you seen this? Have you heard about the canon? Now deleted court papers. Ah, the cannons. Ah, he fell down a hill. Whoa, he even turned up unannounced at Rana's apartment and forced him to have sex. Oh, that was the, that was the lie.

You're a lie. Well, good for her. She's been exonerated. I was like the lady got to force you to have sex. She categorically denies the allegation. She never engaged any inappropriate conduct with this individual of any kind and has never been to the location where the alleged sexual assault supposedly took place. It's not sexual assault if a girl. No.

Yeah, what are we forced you? Like, what are we talking about? Go, come on. Just like, come on 20 times in a row. You literally can't sexually assault a guy. I lost my Virginia to do a hooker when I was 16. She was probably 50. It was the best night of my life

I'm a survivor Oh man look at they're posting Pretty pictures What about Winona Ryder You heard about her And Jamiriqui? What? No, she stayed in Jamiriqui

And her used to fuck And he said I couldn't keep up with her She wanted to bang so much Wow It was like annoying Jamarikw's making a comeback I believe what I should have For that story

Yeah I know it's not a good Oh Think about it He said she had huge tits And it was a problem They were bigger than they looked But pull it up JMO

I drank to it You gotta work out You gotta go hey He's got to be prepared for that level of the game. He wasn't ready. The lights were too bright. How crazy is that? With Nona Ryder, like, imagine kicking her out of bed.

Like, you want to fuck too much. And this is, like, 30 years ago. You're sad about it. You got a Jemar Khorai? Jamie, delete that. Jamie. Nope. No, keep it in.

It was actually good, but you're just, your legibility is the issue. It's a really good joke. If I said it, we'd all be going, ah. Rearquire, such a weird day What was his big song? He had that one really good song. Virtual insanity.

Yeah, sick-ass music video. He was dancing a really cool, yeah. No, Marker. Yeah, that one. What was the song? Oh, huge mommy milkers is what he said about her tits. There's a bunch of memes going around. No, thanks.

Are we sure that this is true, though? Did he really say this? There it is. What's a mommy milker? The memes about the shocking viral story. Look how hot she was. She was very terrible. She was hot, and she was.

She's like the shoplift. She's your kind of girl, Norm. Oh, yeah, big fan. She's a shoplift. Together. Oh, yeah. I'll show her some strange things. Wow.

Her boobs are too big and she wanted to have sex. Why did they have to cross out sex? What happened to America? It's an algorithm thing. It's just like things don't get suppressed. I know. But it's sex. Boots are too big.

Well, it's everything. What does that mean? You know, on TikTok, you can't use a juice box emoji. That's right. People are using it for the juice. Yes. But we love juice boxes. Yeah, but it's, they don't.

Free juice box? Free juicebox, buddy. Jews are all about that. But now the Jews own TikTok. That's right. Really? I think. Did it go through?

Yeah, what's that guy's name? But they took it from China and sold that to... They purchased it at a reasonable rate. Ellison? Yeah. Ellison's Jewish? Yeah. You got to see that face.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Larry Olson. You see the mug. It looks like his mantle. I see him. Yeah, I think, well, it's like they own TikTok now, and I think they're trying to own. The weather. ABC.

The weather. Was that thing true about Iran? That, like, they shot down some weather station and then all of sudden started raining like crazy in Iran. Oh. But then I read that that's horseshit and that they experience the same amount of rain every year. So that's the thing. You can't buy into all those. Those are conspiracies created by.

You guys are hilarious. They go. You guys are dumb as shit. You'll believe we created the weather. Well, not created the weather. Control it, of course. But then you go, well, you go. But you definitely bombed kids.

And that's not a conspiracy. Right. But also... They bombed everybody. The U.S. has bombed way more children. It was stolen rain. What do you mean?

The United States has killed way more children than what you're talking about. Oh, but that's true. Can we do this? The way you guys did where it was... Look at this story. Yeah, you guys. I don't know. Well, you're going against the U.S.

Shane, look at this story. As fighting escalated in air corridors were restricted, did social media post allege that cloud seeding aircraft used by the U.S. and its allies have been grounded, causing stolen rains to return. So we've been stealing rains from Iran for a long time. Wow, look at Jerusalem Post. Look how dope that building is. Do you that building. Is that an Iranian building?

Looks like it. That building is dope as fuck. That in Cleveland. We should make up. When I buy a ranch, when I buy a ranch, we should cause that, make that our podcast studio. I don't know. Make it look just like that. I'm not sure you want that.

I think AI is going to detect and blow it up. See what it says. I'm not walking in there. Maybe it says something cool. Fuck yeah. In Arabic? It says America. America.

Fuck yeah. In Arabic. The Arabic writing is dope as fuck though. They invented it. It looks cool. It looks pretty slick. They invented writing? Where did you hear that?

Well, numbers, I should say. I thought that's cool. They came up with numbers. What do you give them that. But look. Thanks, guys. What a great episode we had. We had a fun time.

Hey, should we get dinner? I'm starving. Fun time. It holds bread. Oh, geez. Next one. Next one, two months. Let's do two months.

Let's keep them regular. Two months. Come on, we can do it. I can do two months. Come on. We're in May right now. Is it May yet? It's close.

It's May. Tomorrow's first. Tomorrow's May. Yeah, today when it comes out, it's May 1st. A lot of editing for J-mo. Just the end part. Speaking of the end, this is the end.

This is the end. Available at Aririshefear.com right now, starring Shane Gillis and Mark Norman. Available at Ariashfirr.com. There it is. the end. Look at all those people. Look at how terrible Bob McClelly looks.

Mark Norman. Look at you. Handsome son of a bitch. You believe you belong in that period of time. I wish. I got a Netflix special out. Check it out. Let's bump it back up. And Tuesdays our stories, we might be drunk.

Let's fucking go. Jews killed Jesus. Tires, new season. When's the new season coming out? I don't know if I'm allowed to say. Should be around August. Okay. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Love you guys. Hey, comedy. Shout out to everybody out there listening. The parks are saved. Jihad. Thank you.