The Joe Rogan Experience - #2512 - Joey Diaz

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

Joey Diaz is a stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. He is the host of the podcast “The Church of What’s Happening Now: The New Testament” and the author of “Tremendous: The Life of a Comedy Savage.”www.youtube.com/@JoeyDiazwww.patreon.com/JoeyDiazwww.joeydiaz.net Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Use code ROGAN at https://BlueChew.com  to get 10% OFF + Free Overnight Shipping on your first order. Get 30% off + 2 free gifts at https://ARMRA.com/rogan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Once you've got a great name for your business, you need a great domain. And Squarespace makes it easy to lock in a domain. You just search the name you want, buy it, and then you're ready to build. No hidden fees, no weird upsells. Go to Squarespace.com slash Rogan for a free trial. And when you are ready to launch, use the code Rogan to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. The Joe Rogan experience

Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night All day All right, brother Hey What's happening? What's going out? Same shit, great to be here Great to see you

How you feeling? Like a tip-top fucking magoo. I can't believe you could walk so quickly after getting the knee fixed again It was like three days, man That's nuts But yesterday I fucked it up at Newark Airport Because I wanted to walk

You know But it was like Like I walk every day at the gym, and then I walk my neighborhood for breakfast and after dinner. But that's a loop, you know? This was 10 loops yesterday. So thank God I had a baggie with edibles with me on the plane. I hate the edibles, and I put, I asked the fucking flight attendant, if you give me some ice, and that's how I got it down.

Then I, you rub it with that Wortem shit, that liquid cocaine juice. What? Yeah, there's a cream that became illegal. You buy it over the counter. What is that? It's Vortemps something, Vortem. Don't quote me back. But it's a good cream.

It numbs your eyes. You have to rub it, though, twice a day. Oh, yeah? Yeah, but it fucking feels fantastic. I've never heard of it. Yeah, Voltron, Voltrax. What? Don't listen to me, though.

Just Google, what's the... Is that it? That it? Volteran. Arthritis pain. And you just rub it on your knee? Yeah, a couple times a day. Anything that hurts. What is it?

It's like a fucking gel with cocaine that takes care of the fucking situation for you. Prescription and strength over-the-counter non-steroidal anti-inflammatory that penetrates the skin to relieve joint pain, inflammation, and stiffness. Interesting. I never heard of it before. Widely used for osteoarthritis and muscle aches should not be used for acute injuries like simple strains or bruises. I wonder why. Why can't you use it for strains or bruises? Does it say why? That seems weird because like that's what people use like ibuprofen and shit.

I wonder why you can't use it. Like I couldn't use any of that shit. I could only use Tylenol, whatever the fuck that is. I couldn't take ibuprofen after the surgery. No? Have you ever used DMSO? I don't know what that is, Joe. That's the shit right here.

You rub it on? Yeah. That's another horse tranquilizer, another horse medication. Yeah, they use it in veterinary applications, but it's really good for pain, for pain and injury. Take that. Keep it. No, I have a bunch of them. Thank you.

I buy shit in bulk. We were talking about Lala Zeta. Yeah. That was the early steroids, which were the 70s. You don't know what the fuck we were getting in the 70s. Everything came from Germany, I think. I think they were getting... Dr. Roblin, all that shit.

I think they were getting human growth hormone from cadavers. See if that's true. Jamie, put that into our AI-sponsor perplexity. Did they used to get human growth hormone from cadavers? I think they did. I think that's how they used to get it. What do you get human growth hormone from now? That's a good question.

I don't know. I don't know how they do it. It's synthetic. I know it's synthetic. So it must be they isolate the molecule. They figure out how to reproduce it. And then they make it somehow. I have no idea.

But the way they used to do it back then. Cadaver-dered-derived human growth hormone was real used mid-1900s to 1985. It turned out to be dangerous because it sometimes transmitted. preon diseases like Cruxfeld-Jekob and is no longer used it has been fully replaced by synthetic recombinant HDH. So

Quetzfeld-Yuccub disease, that's mad cow disease. It's the same kind of disease. And what it comes from is it's the same thing that cannibals get when people eat human brain tissue. They get and neurons and that kind of shit. You get this same

disease. Alzada was one of the first U.S. sports figures to using anabolic steroids in the last year of his life as he battled against the brain tumor, which eventually caused his death. Alzada asserted that his steroid use, his steroid abuse directly led to his fatal illness. He recounted his steroid abuse in Article Sports Illustrated. Our target started taking anabolic steroids in 69 and never stopped.

Now I'm sick and I'm scared. I was addicting mentally, it was addicting mentally and mentally addicting. 90% of athletes I know are on the stuff were not born to be 300 pounds. or jump 30 feet. I became very violent on the field, off it too. I did things. Only crazy people do. Once in 1979 in Denver, a guy's side swipe my car.

I chased him up and down the hills through the neighborhoods. I did that a lot. I chased a guy, pulled out of his car, beat the hell out of him. But look at me now. I wobble when I walk, and sometimes I have to hold on to somebody. You have to give me time to answer questions because I have trouble remembering things. He died at 43. 43 from brain cancer.

Wow. He didn't look good at the end. Like he wore the bandanas. El Zeta was Jewish? Says he was inducted into the Jewish Hall of Fame. What did it say, go back to that what I was just reading? International Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. I didn't even know that existed.

Okay. So I don't know if that was that stuff that Growth Warmer did that. Well, listen, he's saying he can't walk at the end. He can't remember. That's the... It's also getting hit. the head and mixed with whatever was going on. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot. With everything else,

it becomes something else, you know. I lied. In midst a massive start. That's one of those lies that, like, everybody, you know, it's like when bodybuilders say they're natural. Like, shut the fuck up, bitch. Nobody's that big. Nobody's that big without help. There's a bunch of goofy

guys out there that still try to claim natural. Like, come on, son. How many fucking steaks do you eat a day? Like the barbarian brothers, 36 eggs. There's some guys that have, free genetics. They have very unusual genetics, and they get real big naturally. But that's rare.

That's super, super rare. As a matter of fact, I got picked up by an ubi yesterday. Guess who was the driver? Who? Yo-o-Merro's nephew. No way. And he's a judo champion. No way.

We talked in Spanish for about 15, 20 minutes. Was this in Jersey or here? Right here. He lives in. Because all these Uber drivers are Cuban. Really? All of them in Austin. They're all getting replaced by robots.

Fuck that. The Cuban... I saw a Cuban yell at a robot. Last time I was here, he got out of the car. I yell at the car, and he realized, Fogneu, and Root, he got back in the car. My bad. That's hilarious. Because the guy cut him off.

They cut him off all the time. He's fucking Waymo. No, I stay away from those. They get right in front of you. They're ridiculous. I don't trust those cars in all, and I don't see how people sit. I don't know. It's not for me, brother.

Did you hear about that lady? She got into one, and a homeless guy was in the back? No. Yeah, some guy used the Waymo. He got his luggage out, left the hatch open. Probably figured the thing closed itself. It didn't. Homeless guy hopped in, shut the door.

Lady gets the way, Mo. There's a homeless guy in the back. He starts yelling at her for paying robots. Why are you paying robots? I'm going to tell you about my homeless situation this week, Joe. Oh, no. So my daughter played at Egg Harbor this weekend. It's like 25 minutes outside of Atlantic City,

which is an hour and a half from my house. So we went down for Saturdays tournament. They won. Now we got two more games on Sunday. So we got a hotel. I didn't want to get a hotel at Oceans. I'm going to be at Oceans in August, but I didn't want to go there because,

all the other parents were in fucking Harris. So I said, fuck it. I don't want to be that guy. I'll stay at Harris with you. So the game ended, and my wife had to drive the kid somewhere, and I go, you know what? Because every weekend, when I go on those little trips, I go to a weed store.

Like last week I went into one in Trenton. Dog, this was a block from the state capital. You could see the dome. The black guy called me back, and he goes, no, no, no, I got a secret place in the back. He had mushrooms, mushroom chocolate. Don't say this. You're going to get in trouble.

There's 18 stores in fucking, you know, you got to figure it out. I'm not ratting nobody out. They know what's going on in the cops. They got a bag. I mean, that packaged mushrooms, all different flavors, grew a wide, whole thing. This week I go to Atlantic City. I go to this one, Everrell, whatever.

It's supposed to be the big one. The big one. The big weed store in Atlantic City. And it's ripe by the casino. So as I pull up, I park my car in front. As I walk out, there's four yoked brothers, yoked with gold chains on in one of those fucking suburban

millionaire cars. What are he called the big truck? Escalates? No, the other one. The one that looks like they're attacking your town. Oh, AMG, G-Wagons? I don't fucking know. Anyway, they're in there bumping shit, and they see me and they go, yo, we know you. And I go, yeah, what up, brother? Hold on. I'll catch you on the way out. I thought

by the time I got out, they would leave. Right. So I went in, I come on. They're all outside their cars. All four brothers, yoked, big gold. chain's like, yo, you're the motherfucker that goes on Rogan. Nah, that's the motherfucker from the longest yard. We looked you up. So they're talking to me, talking to me, talking.

We're rocking and rolling. Rogan, the UFC. Yo, what do you think about that? And I'm loving it. But in the middle of all this, this black little homeless crackhead walks his way over, and I can hear him and ask the other guy, who's this white motherfucker? And the black guy goes, that's the dude from the longest yard. You know, the football movie.

The black guy comes over. see him. We walk right on me. He goes, hey, Mr. Football Man, why don't you break out a dollar for me? He just bummed me out of a dollar. I had to give him 10. I was so fucking embarrassed. Why don't you break out a dollar for me? Mr. Football Star. I gave him a 10, this motherfucker ran.

He walked up with a limp, but he ran away. He was going right for crack. I'm like, these motherfuckers, they got a game for everything. I love it. I love all that shit, Joe. It's fun to be around wacky people every now. Just people living on the edge. But that Atlantic City, outside Those casinos, bro.

That shit's real. We saw a drug transaction right on the street when we were down there last. Bro, I'm surprised you didn't see a hooker get mugged or something like that. They are not fucking around. I took a ride Saturday night, about 10. Did just take a little ride? Sketchy, dude. Bro, you make a right in some of those corners.

You ain't coming back. No. And I thought by now that at least build up the outside of AC. No, no, no, no. No, it's barely making money. You know, AC doesn't do well, not like Vegas does. You know what I mean? Like, AC's got some nice spots.

You can go there and have a good time, but it's not like it's going to grow. You go to the Borgata is with the Italians and shit. The outside's too sketch. The Borgada, all the Italians go down with their white shoes on the week. Hey, it's got old. What up? You know. But no, I don't like the Borgata that much.

I like the couple hotels down there. There's some nice places. Yeah, we stand in the Borgado in the first open, you and I. You had a gig there. You had a gig there. That's right. That's right. The thing is, it's not going to grow like Vegas is.

You know, Vegas is crazy. See, when Vegas had a head start, the thing, like, if they tried to make Vegas now, ooh, tough sell. Tough sell. Too many places to go. You can gamble everywhere. You can gamble on your phone now. But when Vegas was first, there was no casinos in the country, dog. It was just Vegas.

And I wonder if they made some sort of a deal. Well, let them blow off atomic bombs. They blow off these atomic bombs. And then, you know, we'll put the casinos in. What's the difference? We blow ourselves up. But then we looked it up, and it turned out they made Vegas before the atomic bomb. So I'm like, well, I guess it was just gangsters.

They just bribed people or convinced people. There was nothing going on there. It was a pit stop. They opened up Vegas for a pit stop for American soldiers to stop on the way or something like that. Was it in the 30s, right? Was it the 30s, Jamie? Didn't the guy that owned the counter store? When Vegas was created?

Yeah, in the guy that owned the Comedy Store, he was in charge of Vegas. And he robbed and they shot them. Same guy's the comedy store. Same guy's the comedy store. So he was in charge. He's fucking genius. That fucking, that motherfucker was a genius. Well, he got shot because he stole at the end, the expenses and.

Oh, is that what it was? The casinos, you know, he gave, in those days, they borrowed money from the unions in Chicago. Uh-huh. And then you borrowed that and you worked off those teamster loans, those Jimmy Hoff loans. Owee. So you had to build on those. Well, the expenses never stopped. Right.

And they were like, what the fuck is going to do that? going on and he was hanging out with Jane Seymour or something, going back and forth like a millionaire, like a movie star in any leg and they shot him. That's why they shot him? I think so. They shot him in his house and his eyeball or something like that. I remember that. Yeah, there's a picture of his dead body allegedly online.

In L.A., right? Yeah, they shot him in L.A. So that was all because of the casinos, huh? But then they made it, you know, it's like when we first went to Denver, the money was too good. I don't give a fuck if it's Jesus and his three disciples, they're going to take that envelope. It's too good. Well, you know what it was going on in the beginning. They weren't allowed to use credit cards.

Everything had to be cash. Yeah. And it was crazy. So these guys were leaving the fucking, and they bring like six special forces guys with them. They'd have fucking green berets and Navy SEALs and shit, like armed to the tits because they're transferring millions of dollars in cash. So the whole thing was nuts, man. It was nuts. I read this story about the dilemma.

Like these people are making all this money. And the crazy thing is the state was. making all that money too, because the taxes on the legal weed, look this up, please? It's amazing. I think it was like 39%. It's fucking crazy. And everybody was like, sure. Like, you would never accept 39% on alcohol.

You'd never accept 39% on brown beef. No. But 39% on weed, you're like, I'll take it. During the pandemic in LA, you had to buy an extra tax to go open. That's why they called them, what do they call those businesses that had to be open? Dispensaries? No, no, no. They're businesses that they had a purpose.

to be open during the pandemic. Oh, right, essential. Essential. Yeah. They made that essential, but they charge an extra tax, 10% tax. They're making so much money

off weed in California. But now, look at all the weed stores. They're starting to close. Are they? And in Jersey, they created a dilemma because the state convinced them that they had to build and all these issues.

All these places started, you know, you're opening up a shot minus three mill. Listen, it's a lot of $20 bags to get the $3 mil. A lot. Not only that, there's a lot of competition. How many weed stores are in L.A.? It's bananas.

In Englishtown, New Jersey, there's four of them, and here's what gets better. They're all on the same block. Wow. Did you ever go to that place in Englewood with me back when it was only medical? The Englewood Wellness Center? Well, you used to get the lollipops. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah, I went there one time with you. You know, the guy that ran that got shot. That dude that we used to deal with, he got shot in that store. They killed them? No, I think he lived. I'm not sure, though. Look that up. He might have died.

Yeah, that's the first place you had the lollipops from Fear Factor. Yes. It was from that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Inglewood Wellness Center. That was in the 90s. That was in the days where it was legal if you had a medical reason and any medical reason would do. Oh, my feet hurt.

Get in there. Sign them up. But anybody who does martial arts has the pain excuse because everybody's in pain. And it does help you with pain. If you can take aspirin, T. Like, gummies with CBD are phenomenal for aches and pains, man. You remember Dave Foley? Yeah.

Dave Foley's hand, of course you do. Dave Foley's hand was all fucked up from arthritis. He started taking CBD and now his hand is full function again. CBD's amazing, man. They just blew it up out of content a couple of years ago. Well, who knows who's making it and what the quality is. But no, it is. That's the things, when things are gray, you get a bunch of douchebags making stuff.

You know, I used to have a bit about that, about the gummy bears. Like, they're not making these gummy bears in the same labs or they're making Tylenol. They're very inconsistent. You get one of them, you swear it's a thousand milligrams, and the other one feels like it's like 100. They barely make sense back in the day, back in the day, back in, you know, when it was the Wild West. I got some 500 milligrams in my pocket. They feel like 500 milligrams. Well, now I don't think you can do that anymore.

I'm talking about, like, way back in the day, it was different because way back in the day, it was the Wild West. First of all, way back in the day, they didn't put warnings on this shit. No, no warnings. So you didn't know how many milligrams were in this stuff. And I remember eating a brownie one time and flying up to Pittsburgh and the red eye, and my leg wouldn't stop tapping. Like, it wouldn't stop fucking tapping. I remember one time we were on a plane when you had a panic attack,

and then you waited like an hour later and then popped two more. I was like, how are you doing that? You're like, Joe Rogan, I almost got off the plate. I couldn't take it. I couldn't breathe. My fucking heart was closing. It was like my chest was closing in on me The walls were closing in

I thought the plane was gonna crash I was freaking out I almost had turned the fucking plane around But I'm back baby You just pop too more Oh you have no idea when I put myself Through over the ears Why do that?

Because I just want to take a chance Columbus did I'm sitting at home It's two in the afternoon You're bored of shit You're like Let's see what happens And the only thing that would hold me back

Is if I had a spot that night Oh yeah Then I would tame it It'd be like a couple hundred milligrams You don't want to go up on stage with too much edible. Yes, you do. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you need to.

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you get the third free with the promo code Rogan. You also receive an additional 10% off, plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit Blue Chewitchie. for more details and important safety information. Sometimes it's important to go off into the woods, right? Sometimes you just stay on the trail. Yeah, but listen.

You're filming a special, stay on the trail. Last week I went to do a spot. I figured let me wait five weeks. I haven't been on stage since April 18th. Let me go do a spot. I'm nervous. I get down there. There's 50 people.

Perfect. Break my cherry. Do it. I got into such a groove. I ended up doing an hour. That was because the edible I took before I went on stage. I told you that. I got nothing.

Right. That's it. I'm starting over from scratch. Got nothing. I talked about going to the hospital, and then it just became something else. And at the end, I was up there an hour. Wow.

My leg was starting to fucking throbbed. Did you film it or recorder anything? No, I just, I didn't know it was going to be gold. Right, right. But that's why THC, somebody said, THC is like a banned substance for comics, because if you really let it absorb you, and I'm not telling you to smoke pop,

but I have an audition. Whenever I have an audition, I read it, I put it away. I get stoned, and then I go back, and I look at it again, a complete different sheet. Now I can pick out things, now I could point. Then I leave it again. I get higher, and I come back, like an hour later, and that's what I think THC makes me just rely.

Look, I live in anxiety naturally. Naturally, I beat myself up. This morning, it's 8.30. I'm drinking coffee outside the fourth season. I'm like, why my heartbeat? because I thought I had somewhere to go. I got nowhere to go. You just gave yourself anxiety for no reason?

Yeah, because I always think I got somewhere to fucking go at 10 in the morning. That's why when my daughter gets on that bus to school at 715, I start blasting. Because then I know I ain't got nowhere to go. Like, you know, you make a list every day and you go, this is what I'm going to do today. And then you fucking, you know, wake up and you look at that list after you smoke and you're like, that's a long drive up to New York City today. I ain't doing that podcast. That's a fucking long drive up until that motherfucker.

Yeah, the driving in New York is not a joke. That's an endeavor. Yeah. You got to take a day. Like, that's your day. Your day is driving in and driving out. You're not going to the gym. You're not doing all the other stuff.

Me? No, I'm saying if you've got to drive into New Jersey, that's your day. It's not like, oh, I'll go there. That's at noon. I'll hit the gym at 2.30. Uh-uh. No, you'll be in traffic for three hours. For three hours.

I always go to do that shit early and get it over with. Like on days that I have to go to the city up north, I'll just take that as a day off. Like I'll work that day before so I could go up there comfortably and not sweat it. Yeah. But some days I get up and I'm going up there. I got to work out today. Listen, this is one of the big things that Texas has or Austin has in particular over the East Coast

is the fucking traffic. The traffic here's a joke. They talk about traffic. It's adorable. You might be. 10 extra minutes. Whoopty-do. It's adorable.

Occasionally a car accident happens and there's a bunch of people stopped. That shit happens everywhere in the world. But for the most part, the East Coast is so thick with people. You don't realize it until you have to make that trip to New Jersey and back and forth. You know, when we do the UFC's, if we go into New Jersey to the UFC and then with the way-ins, then we have to go back to New York to play pool. At 6 o'clock, that's cool. Oh, my God.

It's crazy. Go to New York to eat and to play pool, and it's a madhouse. Think about what it was like the last two weeks. Jim Laurentine said he went into the city side. It was three hours because of the Nick bullshit. They weren't even playing. They weren't even playing.

People were so upset that Trump was going to go to the NBA because if he's there, then they have all these crazy security protocols and makes the traffic even worse. There was no parties. There was no nothing. He should stick to the UFC. They're going to boo him everywhere else.

Oh, they booed him to, I didn't watch the whole game. I heard some people cheered. I heard it was like cheers and booze, but the problem is if there's cheers and any booze, if there's like 50-50, like that's, that's, don't go to that spot. Go to the UFC. People say he got booed at the UFC. I've seen him at the UFC six times or something like that. I don't know how many times. Never get booed.

They love him. He's never gotten booed. They fucking cheer. The people that say they booing him, you're distorting reality. It's not true. They cheer him like he walks in there to the American badass song,

especially if Kid Rock is with him and Dana White's behind him. And then sometimes Tucker Carlson was there too back when they were close. It was like the conservative Avengers. It was like, this is ridiculous. They always cheered him. He was the kiss of death last night.

I bet against the Knicks last night. Me and Jamie, we were like, fuck that. Getting two and a half? Why don't they only give him two and a half? They're up two schemes. What are you? time two and a half they were given last night.

Everybody in their mother, even fucking your daughter bet the Knicks last night, giving two and a half. Do you bet sports all the time? How often you bet? This type of the year, I bet basketball because it's real. Do you use an app? What do you do? Draft Kings.

Draft Kings? Everything is on draft Kings. You don't have a bookie. No. Yeah. No. I enjoy it because draft Kings has so many fun. Like, there's bookies out there.

Like, they just keep busting these mafia rings. In Jersey and New York, 39 people that had the big bust last year with the basketball coaches that they put the cards up and you could see through the fucking cards on the table. Gambling has grown to a fucking nightmare. We're going to pay for this in five years.

But when I went to college, after orientation, you walked out, and there was credit card companies, Discover MasterCard, Visa, and they give you a credit card for being a student. For 250, automatic, right there. And now, when you go to those orientation days, Draft Kings is that? You know, the other ones, Fandu's there. And I'm not putting them down.

I love Draft Kings. But you're copping these kids. These kids don't have enough problems with fucking student loans. Right. Now I'm going to put a fucking thing. More people are gambling more than ever. Than ever. In Australia, too.

Ever. My buddy McCann, you know James McCann. Yeah, ever. He was talking about how crazy it is in Australia. Yeah, it's, what is the odds on the illy. a Toporia Justin Gachi fight at the White House.

To pick him. No. No. Toporia has to be a huge favorite. I guarantee Tuporia is two to one. Four to one.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Four to one's crazy. Two to one. If you just think about what he's done in his last three fights, he's had the most

legendary run in MMA championship history in his last three fights. He knocked out three all-time greats. knocks out Alexander Volcanovokinovsky knocks out

Max Holloway knocks out Charles Oliver three in a row like anybody who could do that you go I'm not fucking betting anything against that guy but Justin Gachey's a tough

character son so if I bet 25 bucks on Gagey I win 100 400 4 to 1 yeah 4 to 1 yeah which is

look it's minus 422 for Toporio. They're like four to ones, not enough. Caesar says 600. Caesar says 600. Seizers is smart. But the thing is, man, don't think that Justin Gachi can't win. Like, anybody can lose in an MMA fight. People get hit. Like, in Ilyat Soporio, one of his early fights, one of it, I think his first fight in the UFC at Lightweight, he took it on short notice, and he fought this dude, um, Jai Herbert,

who's a really tall, really good striker. Guy Herbert caught him with a head kick in the first round, a switch kick to the dome that dropped him. It was perfect. But he recovered, brilliant. He got a hold of him, took him to the ground, recovered, and then came back in devastating knockout in the second round. Like, he fucking puts people into orbit, man. His power is crazy. He's not a big guy either, man.

Justin's a much bigger guy than him. But the way he knocks guys out, it's just dead. He knocks him. He knocks them out dead. But so does Gachy. People forgetting. Gachie's a fucking warhammer, dude. That guy loves battles.

He loves... I'm saying, this is not, I don't think... It's a tough fight, man. It's a tough fucking fight. And this is this Sunday, right? Correct. It's this Sunday. Gachie's bigger...

You're going? So... Fuck, yeah, I'm going. So Gachie's bigger. Gachi used to fight at... What was it called? The IFL? It was whatever the organization was before the...

He came. to the UFC. I think it was before the PFL was like another one. But what was it? What did he, what was the organization? You know, there's these feeder organizations like the PFL. A lot of really good fighters and why not becoming champions start out there. Yeah. Was that it? World Series of fighting. That's right. That's what it was. And I mean, he was fucking people up with leg kicks, but it was the way he was fighting. It would just throw himself into chaos. Like he didn't fight tactically at all back then. No. You ever see the Michael Johnson

fight with him in the UFC? A long time, yeah. It's his first fight in the UFC. It's one of the craziest fucking fights ever. Because he just fucking throws himself at Michael Johnson. And Michael Johnson throws himself right back. They got hurt. Both guys got cracked. It was a

crazy fight. But eventually Justin got him. But it was the way he fought. You're like, good Lord. Yeah, he fights every. Like a pit bull. Like a pit bull. Like no concern for his safety. Just dive in. It was a fucking crazy fight. And look how Dustin is always just trying to kill you.

He's always moved. Look at it. Every shot he's trying to fucking kill you. He's always moving forward trying to smash you. And the thing is he relishes this kind of combat so much that in the beginning, he lost some fights that he could have won if he tempered it. And then he did. And then when he went on this legendary run, started beating everybody, it's really because he controlled. He controlled the violence a little bit more.

He controlled the chaos. But it was still, like, very technical violence. It wasn't like he was brawling dumb. He was just forcing himself into chaos so much. He was throwing himself right into the fire over and over and over again. This is a dangerous fucking guy. He's a dangerous fucking guy for anybody. I mean, he had hit Khabib.

He hurt him with some calf kicks. He could do that, too. He leg kicks you from inside the clinch. One of the things that he does really well is from like he could get you with like a collar tie and he's leg kicking you. He gives him the finger and tells him to get up. I mean, Michael Johnson's getting battered. This is a top fight for him. At this point, we're in round two.

Look at that knee to the body. Just everything's trying to kill you. It's not like this tactical take a chance here, take a chance there. No, everything's take a chance. It's like from the very beginning of the fight. And this is how he fight. He eventually took him out. But it was crazy fight.

He fights like I told you Hagler used to fight. They weren't thinking about brain damage. Hagler, all those dudes were not thinking about that. We were talking about that with football before. You know what I just watched the other day? Mustafa Hampshow. Agger versus Mustafa Hampshow. Did they battle?

Hagler took him out. But it was just Hagler in his prime. He was beautiful at that, bro. Amazing. So good. He was so good. And he was so good. Which in stances, man.

When no one was doing that back then. Hagler would fight South Paul. He would fight Orthodox. He would fuck you up. You didn't know where it was coming from. And he could fight just as good South Paul as he could Orthodox. It was amazing. It was an amazing fight to watch.

God, that guy was great. So disciplined. Yeah, some good fights this week. I'm excited for the car. I thought it was Saturday. Yeah, Jamie posted up that the serial gone Alex Pereira fights the closest fight on the card in terms of odds. It's like even odds.

And that's a Zero Gond's a tall order That's a tall order for your first heavyway fight in the UFC Caesar says that as a pickum A pickum Yeah I would say it's a pickum I would say it's a pickum Cyril Gond is really good

And the thing about Cyril Gond is The problems that he's had in fights Or when guys take him down When guys stand with him He is very tricky He's very slick He's very technical And he's very light on

his feet for a big guy. Like, he moves really well. Like, one of the best movers in the heavyweight division, for sure. He's, like, dancing on his feet. He also does a weird thing off his front leg. He throws a front kick when he's standing sideways, like in a bladed stance like this, and he picks it up and twists it into your stomach. Bang, like that.

It's weird. It works. Oh, no, it's a kick. I mean, it's called a twisting kick. Twisting kick. It's just you don't ever see people throwing that. kick from the front leg like he does. Like he does a lot of weird shit that you have to get used to.

Like that Tom Aspinall fight, man, he was, he was scoring very well on the feet. I know it got stopped because of the eye pokes, but before the eye pokes, Cyril Gond was doing very well on the feet against Aspinall. And Aspenol's a big, fast heavyweight. It's going to be interesting because I don't, you know, know if Pereira is going to have an issue with the movement, you know, if he's going to be able to shut that movement down. and I don't know if Cyril Gahn is going to be able to like if he's going to want exchange with him.

He might feel that power and say, I'm just going to fight on the outside. Because Pereira's got that. You make one mistake power. He looks good at heavyweight. He looks like he gained the way. He was yoked. He's huge.

And on top of that, no dieting. So no depleting of his body at all. You're going to have a guy competing for the first time where he's never had to cut weight. That's huge. Huge. That's a giant advantage. Not having to cut weight is like they let you take steroids. You don't have to cut weight, no cutting weight at all. If they changed weight cutting, if they cut all weight cutting out of MMA, you'd have like 20% better performances.

People would be fighting so much better because they would feel so much healthier. They would be so much more durable. There wouldn't be as many like one-shot knockouts where you're like, whoa, that got them? Because a lot of these guys, like their brain is still dehydrated when they're in there fighting. It's only 24 hours after they rehydrate. That's not enough time to get to the brain. I would go to the way in with you, and these guys would come in like, they're looking like they had cancer.

They looked dead. Yeah. I would see them, and then they would IV in the back. Then I think they cut out IVs after work. Cut out IVs. I remember being there with you and looking at these guys coming in.

They were dying. They looked like they were on that fucking GLP for 10 years, like fucking Sharon Osborne's daughter. I mean, they were looking fucked up, Jack. Yeah, they looked dead. Some guys looked real. You remember when Anderson Silva fought Travis Luter. Do you remember that fight?

Yeah, the jitual guy from Texas? Exactly. Yes. That was the worst I ever saw anybody at a way in. He looked really fucking skin. And again, this was not the ceremonial way in like we have now. This was like the actual way in, see if you can make the wait. And Travis couldn't walk.

He was shuffling. He couldn't pick his legs up. His lips were cracked. Like his body was dried out. That can't be good for you like. Oh. And then pick it back up and then go throw rounds. Exactly.

Go punches at 8 o'clock the next night. Meanwhile, I mean, he was so depleted, but he got a hold of Anderson the first round. It took him down, and that's what he wanted to do. Is Travis Ludo-Jitsu in Texas? Yeah. Yeah, he's some Kevin Hollins coach. Oh, shit, is he? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Travis is a bad motherfucker. Traverse is a bad motherfucker. He was a, when guys rolled with him on the Ultimate Fighter, you know, one of the best compliments, one of the guys said, he goes, dude, he goes, I've rolled with only a couple guys like that. It's like him and Ricardo Laboreo. I go, really? I go, well, that guy feels like Ricardo de Boreo. He's that level. He goes, he's like, dude, he was running through people.

Just running through people on the ground. Travis was a beast. He was one of the first, like, truly elite Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belts in, like, the modern era. Like the Anderson Silva era. Whereas when he got guys to the ground, you were in trouble. You were in real trouble. There's a few guys. Charles Oliver is the big one.

Charles Olivera puts people in positions. They're like, oh, no, what have I done? Like, you think you're going to be comfortable, like, in his... guard like bitch you're never going to be comfortable on the ground with olivera olivera is just so dangerous everywhere yeah yeah he's been doing since they were a kid yep also like cuss with standout great camp he's from that shoot-to-box camp i mean that camp produced Anderson silver um Marie um ninja uh shogun like who else oh garry palay the one of the original m-m-a fighters back in the bare-knuckle days he was the the top dude in the uh-huh

original in the original days. No, Nogera's not from chupox. Nogera is a Carlson Gracie guy. Those, what is he? He's Carlson Gracie, right? No. Carlson's in Chicago? No, Nogera wasn't Carlson Gracie. Nogera was, I don't want to get that wrong.

Who was Nogara's trainer? Minotaro Nogera, his original jiu-jitsu coach. His fucking brother probably. No, both of them were elite. They were twins. They were twins, right? Yeah, they were twins. they were both elite, they were both like world-class fighters and pride.

Does it say his jiu-suitzsche coach? Minotaro was the first, like, he was the first guy that was like finishing elite guys off of his back in pride. Like he was tapping to, like when he was the champion in pride, like, you remember when he beat Bob Sapp? No. Bob Sapp was 350 pounds with abs. And the fight was crazy. He picks Minotaro up and. spikes him on his head in the beginning of the fight.

Ficked his neck up for years. Like his neck was fucked up after that fight and still survived and eventually caught Bob Sapp in Arm Bar. But it was bananas. Omri Betetch. Okay, yeah, there you go. Amri Petich is another guy who fought early in the UFC. So that's his coach for one.

Where did he get his black belt? Just see where he got his black belt from. Just ask the question, who gave Minotoro his black belt? Oh, let me say. Okay, Ricardo Delahiva. That's his primer instructor. There you go. Okay.

Yeah, he was... So we could... He was... He was... He invented the Dele Heva hooked. Probably. There's a bunch of moves that are attributed to guys that it's not quite sure

whether or not they invented it, but they were really good at it, you know? How much fun is that getting somebody of De La Heave and taking them down? It's fun. I can't finish the leg lock. I never could. I'm fucking terrible.

I can't get my arms around it. I'm fucking. My shoulders are fucked up. Leg locks are scary. I don't like any of that shit. You fuck them up. You know, you twist the wrong way, you turn the wrong way, you hear things pop. E.

Scary. You're still training? No. No. No, I haven't, over a year. I've done any role. I thought you had a guy coming in with you. I was for a while.

I got a knee problem. It's much better now. I've been really working on it over the last six months, but it kept swelling after a while. after a while. The thing is, it would get better, and it would feel pretty good, and then I'd hurt it again. And usually, I heard it like a year ago hunting. I twisted it hunting. And then I've also heard it, like, hit in the bag, too.

Like, sometimes I just start wailing on the bag. You go off, and you forget. Yeah. You forget. And it's just the next day it's sore as fuck. It's like, I don't have meniscus on one part of my knee. So I have to make sure that it doesn't get arthritic. You know what I mean?

Because, like, I don't have to tell you. Like once your knee gets bad, it's a real problem. It's a problem. And so you've got to like walk that edge between when you don't have cartilage or you don't have meniscus and your cartilage is getting bone on bone like that. Like you got to be careful. You got to be careful. They're getting real close to fixing shit. Real close.

They're injecting like different kinds of gels in people's knees now that replace the meniscus. And they're also doing some new stem cell therapy where they go into the bone itself and it regenerates cartilage. That might be better. But that gel, they always work you with that gel. I think it's a new one, Joey. It's like a, it's, they call it a biological matrix. You need to fucking get like a, you need to get like insurance approval and all that. Yeah, I did it.

That's just all those things. It's like when you see an ad for somebody, do you have problems sleeping? Buy this mouthpiece. But $2.99. I don't think you got what they have now because this is just released in Germany. This is brand new. But this gel. Like, I'm just saying to you, the gel, the cortisol.

I have friends with knee problems. And they tell me what they go through. And they go to different doctors. And it's the same fucking, we got cortisol for you, we got the gel. We're not going to do the PRP and we don't do stem cell. So you, Joe, regular, you don't do no reading. This is what happened to me with the fucking why I did this surgery in the first place. You had moved here, and I didn't know about ways to well.

If not, I wouldn't have never cut this knee the first time. Never. Never. I didn't read up on it because when my wife was pregnant, I read up on all that shit. And I didn't want to have the baby no more. Because it said once you're old for 43, you'll die if you're giving birth. Like, if you're not ready when you get older as a woman,

you know, now women are having kids of 50s and fucking 55s. But a woman has to be, she has like a short window. Right. And they have a lot of things that could go wrong with the pregnancy. When I read that, I got nervous from my wife. I'm like, she's going to die on a fucking table. And I'm stuck raising a girl. I don't know if I can raise a girl.

You know what am I going to do here? So I didn't really, I researched it a little bit. After I got the knee, after I went and I saw the fucking, the chisel and the fucking mallet on the table. I go, we got to look into this when I get out of here. Like, this is fucking insane. I would have never done the redo knee. I would have waited, shot it with stem cell, BP seeded it.

At that time, I was still a little fearful of needles. So I was like, BPC, everything is you got to shoot it. You're fearful of needles, but not about a knee replacement. That's hilarious. No, I'm probably. Now I'm fine. It took four stays in the hospital last year to fucking, like, go. One day they had to come in and take blood out of me every 20 minutes for three hours.

Why? It's that type of test. They shoot you with something and see how you react to it. And, dog, I didn't faint one time. I don't faint no more. Unless, like last time I was too well. I went in there hung over on those tequilas from the mother. shit, drinking that round white juice and shit.

I went in there with no breakfast. Like, we need to take blood out within minutes. I'm pale. I'm sweating profusiously. They got to put ice on my back and on my neck and shit. And when they turned the switch off on your leg, what's that? When you do that little before surgery, when I first hurt the knee, they said, we're not going to give you pain medication, but if you're really hurting that bad, come on down here.

We'll give you a nerve block. Oh, they give you a nerve block. Oh, they give you a nerve block. Holy shit. Who did that? Where'd they do that? Because the place where I went for surgery, the first time they're shit.

Uh-huh. This place is specialized and all that stuff. So they have their own therapy. They have their own, like, the surgeons, and then they have a pain department. That they talk to you. And they go, listen, you could take this.

You want it? We'll give it to you. But let's do this. Let's try it with this. They don't want you. You know, and I understand it. People lose their minds on those fucking things. So I did the nerve block.

first Joe. Holy fuck. And when I went to the doctor about a month ago, the girl was like I was there that day. When I fainted, she goes, you didn't faint, but you sure came close. She goes, you lost all the color in your face. It's crazy, Joey. I had to drink water. And then the epidora block, you ever do one of those? No. Well, no, I did when I got my knee surgery. Yeah, they always knee surgery. I thought they put you out for those. They did most of the time. But my first ACL, I asked if I could watch. And he said, you don't want to watch it. I go, no, I do.

I don't want to get this done once. I want to see it. Can I watch it? Where did you see it? They shot it in a knee on your spine. Well, they shot it in my spine. Right. And so you don't feel anything in your legs.

And I watched them open my knee up and put it together again. Fuck you, Joe. The epidural block is one of the world. I wanted to see. I'm like, I don't want to do this once. I didn't know that I was going to have a. another ACL surgery eight years later. So you didn't get put out for your surgery?

No, not the first one. The second one I did. That's insane, Joe. That's fucking insane. I love you. Like you're zonbo and shit, but... I wanted to watch. No, I want to watch a lot of things, too.

I want to see what it looks like, because it's kind of crazy. They're going to take your knee, take a slice out of your petal tendon along with a chunk of bone and a chunk of bone for your kneecap and then the screw it back in place. I'm like, this is crazy. I want to watch. Held up. Still good. The real problem was the... So they didn't even take the meniscus out then.

They just stitched it up. There was a tear in the meniscus, but it wasn't too bad, and he thought it could heal. You know, because I was in my 20s. I was like 23, I think. 22. And then over time, it just got wore out. That tear became a bucket-handled tear. And then it would lock.

So the meniscus would pull up and like lock in place. It was fucking insanely painful. And I was like, this keeps happening. It happened a couple of times. It was like, it happened in jujitsu class, and Eddie Bravo had to take me to the doctor. So Eddie Bravo had to drive my NSX. We drove straight to the doctor,

and, you know, they tell me I need to get my meniscus removed. I'm like, okay. And then he told me I need to stop doing martial arts. I was like, okay, that's cute. That's the first thing they'll tell you. Yeah, you got to stop doing martial arts. You play everything. No martial arts, no this, no that.

30 years later, fuck you. Let me get one of those zins? Yeah, sure. The medium wounds. What are these? These are Alps. That's Tucker Carlson's one. Those are good.

It's six, six milligrams. These are threes. This is athletic nicotine. That's threes. I like those. They don't make you jittery. Those take a hell of a hit. Tucker likes them strong.

I like them, but they fucking, I always swallow them by mistake. They're fucking, you know, I'm shitting pouches and shit. They have focused ones? Yeah, that's these, ultras. Yeah, I do the ultras. I haven't been in this room anymore. I was doing those after I had the surgery. Those are great.

Yeah, they are pretty good. There's a bunch of really good things for your focus. People that think it's all bullshit, you know, like that neutropics are bullshit. You're allowed to think whatever you want. But trust me, from somebody who uses his brain for a living, there's a difference between taking neutropics and not take him. It's not going to make you smarter, but it will make your brain function at a better level. There's a bunch of shit that works like that. Like, you know those ketone drinks, like ketone IQ?

That helps a lot. Really? Yeah, your brain uses ketones. Your brain uses ketones for focus. That's why people that take ketogenic diets and go on carnivore diet, they say it gives them more mental clarity. You have more focus. It's fact.

I feel different when I'm eating, like, clean, if I'm eating like carnivore, just eggs and steak, my brain works better, 100%. It's just not processing the carbs and all the fog that comes with that. Not the carbs are bad for you. But when you take this stuff, this stuff is the shit. This is my friend Derek's gorilla mind. This is a neutropic drink. Not coffee.

It's like an energy drink. No. No, it's got some caffeine in. It's got a good amount of caffeine. But it's got a bunch of neutropics. So there's a bunch of like brain vitamins in there. You know anything about me? Yeah, I'm not selling this.

This is my friends. You know, I'm not a, you know that I have a great memory of dates. And I can take you to different situations. Stories. I don't know what happened in the last three years. How come? If I talk to you on a Monday, which I usually do, you call me Mondays on the way home.

Whatever we talked about by Thursday, I don't remember. Like, you'll say, call me back when you find out. I fucking forget now. Like, just little thing. This is recent? This is the last few years? Last few years, I could see. You know, you're 60. A lot of shit changes.

Yeah. You know, it's really weird, Joe, I need eight now. I need eight. Sorry. I need eight. Eight, what? Hours asleep. Eight solid.

I got the wool. I need. It makes a difference. Six and a half, don't cut it. Done. Done. I need eight now. And don't get me started on an hour nap.

One hour, 15 nap at two or three o'clock in the afternoon. If I get up in the morning, I get up at six. So I put her on the bus. I start smoking weed and nine, I'm at a gym. I'm doing something. Boxing, PT, you know. So by fucking two o'clock, dog, there's days I walk in. There ain't no stopping.

There ain't no pissing. I go right to the bed, put the mask on, and go right to sleep. just like that. I mean, there's no thought. There's no stop it. What is that, monopoly? Stop it, go, and get 200. There ain't none of that.

I come in, I drop my bag, I pee and I walk right upstairs right to the bed. I move the cat over, get the fuck over. And I fucking put that mask on. Does the cat cuddle with you? Why are you sleeping? Oh, please. And he goes under the blank.

She goes under the blank of me, too, so it's perfect. That's funny. But, dog, it's not normal. I'm not fly out early no more. Fuck you. Yeah, you need a solid amount of sleep. As you get older, it's even more important.

You know what else is really important? Creatine. I take 10 milligrams twice a day. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. That's phenomenal for your memory. And that's a really good neutropic as well.

I don't like the gummies? No. You had some gummies on here? Yeah, those are good. My neighbor gave them to me that you had them? I prefer to just open it up and pour it in my mouth and then drink water. Yeah, me too. I like the powder, too.

Yeah, I put like the ten. milligrams in my mouth and I just drink water. You don't put it on your food, do you? No. No, I just drink it. I put in the smoothie from time to time. I'm like the raspberries with coconut water. The best way to make sure that I'm getting all 10 milligrams is to just pour it in my mouth and then drink water with it. Because otherwise it's in the glass, you got to rinse the glass and get more of it in. You know, you're giving yourself an exact dose. Just put it in your mouth. Dry scoop it. So I just dry scoop it in my mouth and pour the water in there. That's how I do most of the time.

What the gummies are really good for is if you forget and they're just laying around, you just eat a couple of gummies, you know? I don't know how many milligrams are in those, right? It says it. It says it on them. You know? I think two gummies is five milligrams. I think that's what it is.

I also got turned on to a creatine company that has a preotene precursor. Is that any good? A pre-reterine? A pre-curse? Creightine. I don't know what that is. Your own body creates creatine. Right.

On its own. This helps. Oh, interesting. the body, I think it's called a precursor. Don't fucking... Yeah, I don't know. Anything I say? Just right off with a fucking...

You know what I know that? Because I'm saying it wrong, like Voltron. I don't fucking know, guys. I'm sure there's something. I mean, there's always a bunch... I mean, there's... If you think about how many supplements are out there, like, good Lord.

There's so many supplements. And not all of them are good, but a lot of them are really good. Here's another one's really good for working out. Beta alanine. You ever take that? No. Phenomenal. Phenomenal.

Look, I take everything else. It makes you tingle, though. Makes your skin like itch? Like iodine. You ever take iodine? No. Iodine. Yeah.

Like there's a pill or something. You take iodine to help you. I'm supposed to do that if you get radiation poisoning. Listen, when the first piss test came out, they said you would take iodine. So again. You put chlorox in your dick? I put chlorox in my dick after it because the iodine obviously didn't fucking work, okay? You imagine when they read your piss through the fucking test machine, they'd be like, what?

What is this? Do you understand? Do you understand? Like, there's times I go. Every morning I go out and take my cup of coffee and I sit outside, I thank God, you know, the whole fucking bullshit story. And then it takes me somewhere.

Like after the second cup of coffee and one of these zins and a bong it, your mind goes somewhere. And I think of chunks of my life. And I go, what the fuck was that? Like, that was Joe. That was insanity. What about every time you used to come to my house

to do the checkup? I never let him in. He came like 11 times in two years. I never let him in my house. He would know I was in the house. He would put the sheriffs to come and sit outside my house for two hours. Then they would leave. They're like, what I got to?

He's not home. I never let him in my house. I tortured that guy. That's hilarious. He could have sent me to prison. I still would have been in prison. But it was such a, like first it was the iodine. And then you fucking, you know, you're supposed to take 20 milligrams.

I mean, 200, whatever. I don't know. And my skin is burning. I'm fucking red in the face. I got itches. So I stopped with the iodine. I still came back positive. Then I went on the fucking white vinegar.

White vinegar. White vinegar with a fucking bottle of gatorade on a Monday morning. Not a little vinegar, not red wine vinegar. The real vinegar that you clean your asshole with me and douchebags and all that shit. Vinegar clean jobs. That's what women wash their monkey with vinegar because it takes off. the fucking cat piss out of that and all the shit they got in there. So they said drink vinegar every Monday morning, bro.

And it's like a process. Like you would get high Friday and you would hope to beat it by Sunday. But you knew you weren't going to beat it. And they're going to call you Monday. And it was like your color is yellow, right? Like if they say yellow, you got to come in. So you wait until 1 o'clock and you're like, all right, you got to call in and all of Sunday. Today, Monday, Tuesday, the 9th of June.

The colors are purple, and you're like, yellow. God damn. Now I got to figure out. I got five hours. The place closes at six. I got to figure out how to stop this cocaine from coming up. So then we started taking a serdo. What sort of?

Certo is what you put in, like, jello. It's that thing that makes the jello jiggle or something. What? Fucking Serto. There was no internet these days. Right. These are just... What is that?

A brand. of liquid fruit pectin, most commonly using a kitchen as a thickening agent for homemade jams and jellies. However, it's also widely known as an internet folk remedy, people use an attempt to mask drug metabolism in urine. It's a folk remedy. It's fucking

bullshit. Does it work? No, that's why. Let's find out if it works. The myth. Many online forums suggest bixing Serto with a large sports drink like Gatorade and drinking a few hours before a drug urine test. The theory claims the fiber traps toxins in your digestive tract.

Reality, health professionals and medical studies show no scientific evidence that fruit pectin can reliably clear drugs or toxins from your urine, while fiber works in the gutta has no effect on what your kidneys filter into your urine. This episode is brought to you by Armra. Every week there's some new wellness hack that people swear by, and after a while you start thinking, why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies? That's why Armour Colostrum caught my attention. It's something the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, etc.

I first noticed it working around training, especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, but I am still taking this. If you want to try, Armra is offering my listeners 30% off plus two free gifts. Go to armora.com slash Rogan. But again, you get your advice from a guy who's, done 30 fucking years. Then you forget, he's been doing 30 years because he made mistakes. Right. Not because he's a fucking genius about Serto.

Exactly. You know, and then we went from Serto, and then one day I was swimming. Is anything work? Huh? Is anything work? No, cranberry juice. What about that stuff that they used to sell? Remember they used to sell stuff?

This is 90 fucking. This is 89. They didn't sell nothing. No? But do you remember there was some stuff that you could buy? Am I remembering this wrong? Yeah. No, no.

You could buy piss now? Now it's completely different. You could buy piss? Yeah, you could buy piss? piss online. Just get that whatever, that dirty fucking XPT, whatever you go on and you could search hidden shit all over the world.

So you just got to get a rubber dick and take that piss. I had a guy who made a rubber dick. Normalette could not start snorting coke. So he made a contraption where he filled up his son's piss in a hot water bottle and did the same thing with the douche and he took the

douche on the bottom and Scott's taped it to his dick and he would piss and and squeezed his chest. Oh, my God. Then one day the thing blew up. And he was a bank rob. They sent to jail for 30 fucking years. Want to hear the craziest steroid evasion story that I ever heard from piss?

There was a guy who was fighting and he knew he was going to get piss test and he was just juiced to the tits. So the legend is that they inserted clean urine into his bladder through injection. So he injected clean urine. into his bladder with a needle. Whether or not that's true, I have no idea, but this is what everybody, this is like early days of the UFC, like when they first started drug testing people. Would you think about you... I don't even think it was in the UFC that he did this.

I think it was in another organization, but I don't know if it's true. Think about what's going on the other side of this. Your addiction is that high. Well, these guys, when they're that juiced up, when they're that juiced up, they're not getting off of it. No, no. I get it. I understand.

So you understand. the extremes that people do. Could you ever shoot fucking fake piss? Like Joey, go pissing the fucking thing. I'm going to shoot Joey's piss. A guy willing to do that and trusting that guy was finding your bladder. He could shoot piss into your liver. Like, who knows what this guy even understands anatomy?

But these are the levels that you do. So here I am, sir, it don't work. Fucking nothing works. And one damn at a pool. I'm like, oh shit, when you piss in the pool, the pool cleaner. Cleans all this. If not the pool would be green the next door.

So this is your logic? So I went, I took the kids, I took one of those cubes first. With the crumbs? Smashed it up. And then I put it on my outside of a dick because I'm uncircumcised. So I would pull the skin back and that would fall into the fucking piss. And then, so he told me once again, something happened last time you fucked up the machine or something like that, right? Women would insert condoms filled with someone else's urine inside themselves, he said.

Some athletes would inject urine into their bladders using a kid. catheter oh god they did do that so that's real oh so maybe that's how he did it maybe they used a catheter and that's how they put the fake but then there's the whizonator yeah that was the rubber dick that's uh wasn't there some stuff that you could buy that what you would get it like a head shop and it's supposedly detoxed you but does that stuff work nothing's real that's ever happened yeah i always assumed that it wasn't real i was like you're selling this at a head shop stuff from the 90s these are some of the products but the killer was when i used Drano.

Oh, okay, so this is all bullshit. Yeah. They just rob people. Fetish urine. Look at that says, look at that's labels. Fetish urine? What the fuck does that mean? It's probably a way to sell it because you have to say what, you know.

So that's piss. Not for human consumption or something. Oh, so that's your buying piss? Oh, so that's an actual bag of piss on the right? Oh, good Lord. This one calls it tinkle. It's fetish urine. So if you just like want someone to piss on you, but no one's willing.

You're like, yeah. You're very told. story about the guy the gay club, the guy at the bathtub, everybody was pissing on them in the tub. And then that party, Shamer took me to in that hotel next to the comedy store and they were getting pissed on in there, the women.

And then I wake up Saturday. I'm feeling good about myself. And I'm on Twitter and I see Bonnie Blue. She had a... That chick is fucking... She got pissed on. Had a baby shower. In her ass. People were pissing the pussy in her ass. And I'm like, somebody's got to stop that

woman. She's the least of her problems. Oh my God, a fucking baby shower. When I used a drain, although that was the best, because that destroyed the machine. But the truth of the matter is... When he said something happened last time? Well, this is what happened. I put the drain on my dick, and I walked up to the counter, and I put it on the desk. And he asked you questions.

How's it been? And I'm looking at the thing, and it's starting to phone. Like this thing? And it's coming out of the bag. dishwasher. And I'm looking at this thing going, this motherfucker, and what he did was

you just picked it up and threw it in the bag. Like when they pick it up and tested it. Sometimes you leave the cop top off. That was an old trick. You leave the top off and then it spilled.

Oh, no. So that buys you one extra week. But the time with the draino, it started like, Wobba. It was like shaking at the thing, like foam was coming out on the fucking sides.

And I locked up good. That's what happened. There was no oxygen. That motherfucker was like, you know, boom. So I put it in the fucking thing. And he called me a few days later. He's like, listen, I wrote up

a thing. I'm taking you to court because you broke the machine. This cannot continue. This can't continue. This can continue. This is like a fucking cat and mouse game. What did you put in your body? What happened? What the fuck is going on, Jose?

Did you say, hey, your machine sucks. Your machine broke. That's not to do with me. No, and then they put me like this hold, they were like, we're not even going to piss you know, what the, we're done. We can't take this mental fucking. So this is when you're in the probation department. Now that we're going to throw me back in community corrections, because they'll put you in for 90 days. And all that, I met this fucking guy.

For three months, we spoke like nothing, like gentlemen. I would talk to him, saw him once a week. And one day, I said, what do you do? And he goes, I'm a district attorney in Boulder, Bill Wise. I need a beef, I need a problem. I want this probation. They won't leave me alone. What do I do to get off?

He goes, just have your attorney drop a statement, and I'll sign it and get you all probation, and that was it. Just the guy I met on the street, Bill Wise, and then he got fired after the John Bonnet Ramsey thing. He was there during the whole John Bonnet Ramsey thing, and everybody got fucking fired, I guess. I don't know. Bill Wise was a great dude, man.

He was good to me. And I told him, he asked him what I did. I told him the truth, and he goes, did you learn from him the state? Yeah. I'm here working, that I? He goes, okay, pass it over and I'll sign up. I'm like, oh my God, how fucking lucky am I?

I'm done. I'm done. I was done. Started in 87, and it was all the way to 91. For a year, I was fucking them up with the P thing. Then they put me back on the asspot in the halfway house, and that was even worse. I was out of control in there.

There was freaks in there. There's fucking everything in there. Freaky girls. I was stealing the air conditioner out of the conference room and put it in my room. They couldn't handle me there either. They were like, dog, you're just going to just go home. We're not going to fuck with you no more.

And that's what you do. You just wear somebody ragging. They'll let you go eventually. They'll just say, you know what, man, it ain't worth it. You're never going to stop. You're never going to stop. And then a year later, I had like an affair with the one time. I had an affair with like the chick that worked in that office.

She's the one that had the one leg. Oh, that was not. I delivered Chinese food to her. It never stopped. And you think of those chunks in your life and go, what the fuck was going on? Yeah, you were out of control. Like, it's 31 years,

and I still won't get back to bowl because of the shame I endured. Seriously, like, I won't. Everybody goes, why don't you go back to the bowl? Because I'm ashamed that that was such a beautiful city, and I treated it like it was Newark. Right, right. Like, I did what I wanted.

I would go to Kmart and hang out outside the fucking loan more department, and people will come out with new lawnmowers and the receipt would fly off. I get that receipt and go to Longmont and get that lawnmore for $400 and walk it up and go, my mother bought me this. I don't want it no more. And I give them the receipt

and they give me 400 cash plus tax. Who does that? That fucking Toys R Us? I took that thing down by myself with those Jeffrey Bucks. I took them down. What's a Jeffrey buck? It's like when you bring a stolen computer in there

and they give you, they won't give you cash. They'll give you Jeffrey Bucks. So you have to spend it in the fucking store. Oh. You know what I had a million dollars. And Jeffrey Bucks at one time. I was buying bicycles and fucking... It's just...

I was an animal. And I feel really guilty about it today. I'm thinking of booking the Fox Theater and Boulder and doing like... Because Lodizio's opening back up, my Italian joint. So they called and they said, we're opening back up. And I'm like, I'm thinking of doing Boulder, like Fox Theater. Just take my lumps, apologize, donate to something there

and just call it a fucking night. Because I still feel guilty, man. I'm old, but now I feel guilty about the damage. I put Boulder through fucking 80. I mean, I got chased through the mall by security, and I'm throwing fucking CDs at them. I remember the Denver Broncos were playing Cleveland in 87. Those big playoff games.

Do you remember those, Jamie? Talk, I'm at the mall one day, and everybody's in the hallway. Looking at the TVs, I'm like, who's mining the stores? I went into Radio Shack, and I popped out the fucking CD player brand new one, and just put the cord around it and walked out. Like, who does that, dog? That's Anna. I'm ashamed to admit this shit, but it was like you said,

When you first went to Boulder the first time, you're like, this must have been a fucking grocery store for Joey Diaz. That's exactly what I said when I went there. It was. It was a shame. Everybody's so, they're so, like, peaceful and sweet. I brought chaos. Yeah. Chaos.

And it was too much. When I was in the prison, I brought chaos. And I had my cell open. I did what I wanted. It was just too much. And to his day, it's New York, you could shit like that because that's what New York is about. I was a fucking piece of shit in New York, too, but I don't feel guilty about that.

I still walk around the city now. That's so many pieces of shit in New York. Yeah. It was unique, but in Boulder, they didn't have anything like me. No, they had no idea. I was shaking down people. Some guy kept texting on me.

I saw you on A&E. Remember in the 90s and 80s? A&E was a mafia channel. They talked, Bill, whatever, talked about A&E to call the own family. And this guy saw me when they was like, hey, you're the guy that's in the witness relocation plan. This is 80 fucking 9.

This is way before Sammy and all those guys went in. This guy's telling me, you're a witness relocated guy, a little Italian guy. I saw you on A&E. You're George the Animal, something from Boston. I'm like, dog, that's not me. Stop saying that. I already got problems in fucking Boulder.

You're telling people that I'm a witness relocated mafia guy. He pissed me all so much. Finally, I just kicked this fucking door down here, like one of those Italian knickknack stores. I went in there and I said, dog, since I'm George, the animal I am. You're going to give me 200 a week. Bro, he started giving me 200 a week for like three weeks. Then he called a sit down with Antonio Lodizio.

And Antonio's like, yeah, you've got to keep paying him. And the guy closed up shop, like three weeks later, and I never saw him again. A little towning guy would always kick his shoes up. Dog, that's crazy shit. I was snorting Coke on an ATM in Boulder. They had a next to Murphys. There's an ATM you can walk into with the door. I would go on there with a case of beer at night and just,

Coke on the metal, people were coming guys. Can't take this shit back, but it was done and I can't undo it, you know? But it bothers you now? Well, does it bother you or does it just make you confused? Like, how the fuck could I mean? Nobody remember half this shit, I'm saying. Nobody ever remember this shit. People are on, they moved on with their lives. They saw me now, they go, hey, that's the guy that kidnapped the guy.

No, you know, my name was in the paper. My picture wasn't. They didn't have a picture of me, but everything else was in the fucking paper. It's a guilt. It's a weird fucking guilt, man, that I could have done so much better there if I would have played my car run. I could have graduated college as a fucking astronaut because they were going to give me everything just because I was Cuban. They had no Spanish people at that college.

They had only like eight blacks that played football, so they were doing anything to get Latinos. I would have been a fucking astronaut with a GED. Yeah, but we would have missed this Joey. Yeah, but it's good that it turned out this way. Let me ask you something. If you wouldn't have gotten into this fucking thing, what you would have been? What would you think you'd be doing now? If I hadn't gotten into which one?

This thing that we're doing. In a podcast? No. Stand-up comedy opened up everything else. What would I be doing? I don't know, man. I don't know. I probably would have fought again.

Would you be a chef? Would you be... I mean, I could pin you as a chef. You love to cook. Yeah, I do love to cook. A chef, a mason? I would have found something that I enjoyed doing. What?

I don't know. I would have figured it out. What's your second love? The real problem would be if I had a kid real young. So if, you know, I know a bunch of my friends got married and had kids when they're like 22, 23. The problem, there's nothing wrong with that. But then that really limits your ability to just go for it because you have mouse to feed. That's a different animal.

You know, I think about the early days of stand-up when I was 21 and how I had zero money. I mean, zero. I had zero money. I barely could eat. I remember I had a big fucking jar of pennies and nickels, dimes, and shit. And I remember rolling it all up so I could go get a sandwich. Like I had no money. And so I could imagine like if I was trying to do that, I said, well, I'm just going to live like this for a couple years.

And I think if I work hard enough, I could eventually start making money doing stand-up. And if I keep getting better, maybe I could be a professional. You know, that was the idea. It was never like have a career. But if I had a kid and I had a wife, there's no way I would have done it. There's no way I would have to have gotten a job. And that's where a lot of people get into, you know, or maybe you think it's going to be a good investment to get a house, which it is. But now you've got a mortgage.

So you've got a mortgage. You can't just fucking lose everything. I got my car repossessed. I was broke, man. I was broke. I used to have to hide my clinic garage so they wouldn't repossess it. Shit. Yeah.

I mean, it was 100% check to check. I never had any money in the bank. I don't know if this ever happens to you, but it happens to me a lot, though. This is why I started this grateful shit because there days I pull up to my house. I don't know who lives at. Yeah. I go, who lives here?

This is me? I know, it doesn't feel real. And then you say yourself, this is the most important thing. For people listening, I want you to listen to this if you have a dream or a goal, you go, I got to pay for that with comedy,

which I always thought I was just going to make a hundred dollars a set. And I would have been fine with that if nobody would ever bother me in my life. I would have been fine with an hour getting in my beat-up car and doing that. Getting your dick suck, getting STDs. I would have done all that shit, you know?

That's what it is. So when you look at your house, whether it costs $40,000 or $80 million, and go, I paid for this doing $15 sets at the colony store. Yeah. When you got into this, you just wanted to survive.

Never mind the fucking house. and cars and you never dreamed of this with stand-up. I know I didn't. I never dreamed of this with anything. No. I never thought I would be a person who had money. I dreamed of being a funny person and to be funny enough to make a living and stand-up. Yeah.

I never saw this part of it. So when I pull up in my house and I go, that was paid with $20 sets. $25 here, $15 here, $100 here. Yeah, that adds up. I'm not saying that, but that was paid by a dream. Yeah. Not a job, not something. My family did.

I wasn't forced into, like, raising lemons or whatever the fuck people do. They're decent, you know, growing lemons. You know, seriously, we were born into this. This is something we got into and said, I just want to survive. I just want to be able to eat three meals and get enough gas to go to the next thing.

Forget money in the bank. Forget it. It's overrated. I would never even open up a bank. I didn't open up in the bank account. I was 40 years old. You know, I just ran on whatever the fuck. I would open and put 20 in and write a bounce check and fucking move on and pray that nobody caught you, you know.

And people have no idea what that feeling is like. I get in my car and I go, holy shit. How many cars that I had that I had a one of those bungee cords? Oh yeah, a bungee cord. I had a car when I first did comedy. I had to close the door to a bungee cord. Across my thing. It was like my combination seatbelt because if I took a fucking right turn, the door would open.

You know, the door would just wing open. Now I'm in a car that's fucking I paid for With comedy, not drugs A nice one. Not anything. No, whether it's nice or not, you paid for this without nobody's interference With somebody, with something that somebody told you

You'd never be good at. You'd never be good at. Somebody at least said it to you one time, Joe, come on, man, comedy. You're never going to, what do you think? You're going to be on HBO with fucking Richard Pryor and George Collin, you laugh, but you're like, they're kind of right. They were fucking wrong. We didn't know it.

We just didn't fucking know it. Well, it's like telling someone I'm going to run 200 miles. They're like, no, you're not. You can't even run around the block. Like, no, one day I'm going to run 200 miles. Like, no, you're not. You're not going to run 200 miles. And most of the time, they're right.

But if you're one of those motherfuckers, it says, like, it might take me 10 years to develop the endurance to run 200 miles. But I can't. If I start right now, next month, I'm going to be able to run five miles. You know, in six months, I'll be able to run 10 miles. Then I'm going to keep going. But then you quit before. before the miracle happens.

Somewhere along the line. How many people do we know that quit? How many people do we know that we're really talented? That were really funny. And just disappeared. And now you see him on Facebook. I don't want to shame anybody, but there's a few guys,

and this is one guy at the early days of the comedy store that I really tried to help. I connected him to my manager, and I was like, this guy's legit. I'm like, you're funny, dude. Like, you're good. If you just fucking stay, and then had a bunch of personal problems,

had a kid. I think he had some legal issues. Damn, but that guy, I'm like, I'll tell you later who it was. No, I know it was. Yeah, yeah. But I was like, that motherfucker was funny. He was funny. Way funny than I was.

He was great. And he was a fun dude to be around. He was a cool dude. I was like, he's going to make it. There was people I looked at and I go, they're way funny than I am. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. You were both like the same age, too.

We were like 27 when I first met him. And I connected him with my manager. And he was like, nobody ever did anything like that for me before. Like, nobody tries to help me. Nobody. I was like, listen, man, you'll do it too now. You'll make it, and then you'll do it too. Well, I'll do it.

It's, it helps, and it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt you at all to help somebody, but it helps them, and it helps you. It helps you feel better. You feel better that you're helping someone? It's like, it's a, like I always say that being generous is kind of selfish in a way, because you feel better, too.

Like, when I'm generous, I feel better. I do. Yeah, yeah, we all do. And when we're kind and when we're kind, and when we try to help people, you feel better. It's good for you. It's good for everybody. And it's like, that's a message that the world needs to hear.

Like, you could be good to people. And if you're good to people and you're nice to people, it'll help you too. And if you find someone who's got something, and you're doing a thing, like you're doing a thing, and there's someone who's got a spark, there's a little talent, help though, help them, help those people. Give them advice, give them a push, let them open for you,

watch their set, give them some feedback, help them. Because, you know. We're not in a comedy business, Joe. I've never been in the comedy business. I don't know what anybody's talking about. We're in the karma business. It's a little of that.

I'm in the karma business. I am not in the karma. My goal every day is to make somebody's day. One person. A woman at a supermarket. You're looking fucking bad at a motherfucker today. Oh, stop it, Joey. Yeah.

That. I just made her fucking day. Her husband sees her every day and never tells her. She's banging. And I'm going up to this late. I don't even know. And I'm like, damn, if I was 20 years younger. You know, they're older than me.

Like they're 68, you know. That's my thing every day. Just make somebody's day. One person. You can't save the world. But one day, a gesture, a handshake, a couple dollars is not going to set you back. That is kind of what you, if you're doing a thing or you're doing something that people enjoy, like think about, like, your sets.

Like, think about how many people have gone to see you and you change. their night gone to see you like how many nights at the store people come in you want to see a show you let's go see a show you go on stage and rock that fucking place they leave they're holding their side like ah and they go out and get something to eat afterwards they already say that fucking thing about and they're like you change people's evenings you change their feelings you change the way they feel and you feel good because of it it's like this weird exchange the reason why we love killing especially people that are really good at it what they love is that they're making other people happy. That's really what you love.

That's it. I love it. You're making other people happy and you feel happy because you're making it. And when you don't, oh, you feel terrible. I feel, I do better when I look at the audience and they're laughing and I laugh with them. Once I laugh, you're done. Yes. You're done. Yeah. Once I start laughing and giggling. If it's real. Party's oh, yeah. No, it's real. If you're having fun. It's real. Yeah. It's real. When I look out there and I see somebody that should not be laughing and they're laughing at something blue as shit that I said

and I don't expect them to laugh, that's what makes me laugh. Or the look on their face from the shock of you saying something, that's what always kicks me into this fucking mode, you know? Yeah, it's beautiful. The other thing I want to talk about in this podcast because I was talking to a friend of mine in Jersey's stand-up. And this is the other thing that people don't see.

We're very blessed because we went to L.A. Or over the fuck we went. And one day you're talking to somebody. and two weeks later they're in the fucking the biggest movie in Hollywood. Yeah. And it's very hard to explain to people to sit, believe in yourself,

and just keep showing up and that this happens. But since people don't have, see that happen in their world, in Jersey, what do you see? A guy hits the lottery, he can wins a million dollars, that's their way out of this life.

For us, it was like, we saw too many people make it like this. Like one day they had nothing and the next day they're on CBS fucking doing a show for eight years. Whether it's Kevin or whether it's fucking the other guy, the great guy from Pittsburgh,

you've seen that. So it gives you hope. Now at that situation you could say, fuck that dude, he's a fucking loser. You could go, good for him. He just moved the notch up a little bit so I could get on that conveyor line. That's the beauty of it.

Not looking at that person going, Fuck him. He sucks. He stole my joke in Pittsburgh. Who gets a fuck about Pittsburgh in 89? Guys on TV now. You know, whatever he is, be happy. Because you're next.

You know him. You fucking do sets with him. Right. You're there in the rotation with him at the story every night. Yeah, it can happen for you too. It happens. So once you see it, you go, oh, shit, okay. Now I know what I need to do.

That's if you're real. That's if you're real. I need to get off Coke. I need to cut this shit out. I need to do this, this and this, just to get me closer to that because I see it too much. I see people living in an apartment

with eight people, and next thing you know, they got a house in Beverly Hills. Most people don't see that. Right. So it's tough to explain to them what they're, because everybody thinks

you're going to hit the lottery and your life's going to change. Boy, are they mistaken. Everybody thinks $10 million is going to change their life and make them a better person. It's not. It's not. We think it's going to,

like when you were broke all those years, you used to say, I can't wait to have money. But you never said, I can't wait to have money for what? I never thought I would have money. Me neither. I never said I can't wait to have money. My thought was I want to make a living.

That's it. That's it. That's why I was. Even when I first started with stand-up, like it was just to make a living. It was just doing this. I was a fucking loser in like regular society. I was good at kicking people.

I was a loser in regular society. I was like I didn't graduate college. I barely got out. of high school. I wasn't paying attention. I didn't care about school. All I cared about was whatever I cared about, whether it was drawing or whether it was martial arts. Those are the things that I cared about. That's it. So I always felt like I just need to find a way to live because I'm never going to be a successful person. I had like resigned myself to that. I had no aspirations. You? I thought I know you were way worse than me because you were in and out of jail.

No, I had no family, felonies, no GED. I was set to fucking die. Yeah. And that little fucking accident I had when I was 25 years old, you know, it's like right now you look at the news and there's this big thing going on

by the ice facility, by my house, in Jersey in Newark. They keep fucking banging. And I'm sitting there going, guess how stupid we are as Americans. I don't know if Americans know this shit. When you go to jail, you lose all your rights. You know why I don't go to jail, Joe?

Because that sleep apnea machine doesn't mean nothing in jail. We don't care if you die. Right. You know what you have to do to get him sleep at me, machine in jail? You got to go to a manufacturer. I have to send it to you directly, which we'll get into later. But my point is that fucking, what was my point?

I don't even know. I got so high before. Your point was that you never thought you were going to go anywhere. No, I never thought I was going to go anywhere. Until comedy came around and you realized, oh, this is a thing that I could do. But all I wanted was $4,000 a month. In my mind, I was such a loser that I said to my, If I can make $4,000 a month, I'm a millionaire.

And today, $4,000 a month doesn't even get your rent. Right. Not even nothing. But back then, $4,000 a month was like $8,000 a month now. Yeah, $8,000 a month now. And you would say, okay, if I made $100,000 a year, I can live. Like, you can live off $100,000 a year and be comfortable. Like, that's the goal.

The goal was always just to be comfortable. But the thing with you is, I realize it's, like, very early on. You were going to, it was going to take a different path. I remember watching like you emerge when you really started like killing on stage. And I was saying and then, you know, all these agents, you remember I had that one agent that would get mad that would take you away with me. He would get mad. I was like, what the fuck is wrong with? He's not, I don't think he's funny.

I don't think he's talented. I go, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You don't know anything. I go, why does he make me laugh so hard? He's like, well, you're a crazy person. You got to realize the audience is offended and that's your audience. It's like, shut the fuck up. I knew that you were a different path.

So for you, your emergence came with the emergence of the Internet. And when the Internet came around and we started doing podcasts, I'm like, this is the way that Joey's going to break. Because they'll get to see the real you. I told stories. Yeah. Listen, it's like 24-7 on HBO. You may hate fucking, I don't know, throw any name up.

You may hate that boxer. for some reason. He's whatever. He's cocky. But then they show you his house. And they show you he's got four daughters. And they show you that he wakes up every morning and feeds the daughters. You thought he was a fucking animal.

In the cage, he's an animal. But in life, he's just a regular guy. And you get to see that and go, no, I like him. I don't see a guy that just punches people in the head. I see a guy that's, look at him. He's got fucking makeup on for his daughters. And he's cooking breakfast every morning. Then he goes trains like that Jason.

What was the name? name, the big Yoke brother from the UFC, Alexander. Remember he came and he was knocking heads and they found that he couldn't do Jiu-Jitsu. Great guy, though. Houston. Houston, Alexander. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could watch that thing out there.

He was raising four girls. His wife, the crack mom left. That dude was a tank. He was a tank. And he would train in the morning and go home, cook for the kids. Remember when he knocked out Keith Jardine? Big upset. Big upset.

Big upset. Keith Jardine just tried to take him out. And Houston and Alexander was throwing bombs. He was big and fucking strong. Jacked. Jacked. And he was a radio DJ. You know, he was a radio DJ?

I didn't know that. Yeah, he was a hip-hop DJ. Find out where Houston Alexander was a DJ. I'd love to know where he is now. Like a big DJ. Yeah, he was a good guy. He always talked to me at the airports and shit. Very good guy.

Very good guy. Very good guy. I was like, wow. But, you know, I knew that once I was able to tell my story, where I came from, it was, I didn't know how to do it on stage. Then after I did on the podcast, over the years, I got better enough to learn how to do it on stage. But you did figure out how to do something on stage. That was the switch.

And the switch was you figured out how to be Joey Diaz in the parking lot on stage. And stage. That was killing me. But it went like that. Like that. I never saw anybody flip a switch from struggling on stage to crushing like you.

I was like, this is wild. And I'm going to tell you some of the reasons. I was too focused on material. You're too focused on your fucking material. And you know what at the end of you're material sucks. I've heard it already. And that's what I would think in my mind. So I would do better when I went up there just with one thought and attacked it. Do you know what I mean? I mean, it's hard to explain what I'm saying to you. Yeah. No, you, what you did was you treated the

audience like they were your boys and were all hanging out versus treated the audience like, I'm a comic, here's some jokes. Like when you first started, when I first, what did I meet you in 96? 97. 97. When I first met you, you were doing jokes. Right. You'd go on stage and do jokes.

And I was focused on the jokes on that paper. Don't focus on that. At 11.30 at the store, your jokes don't mean shit. They just saw three hours of top-notch comedy. What are you bringing to the table? You're going to go up there

and tell me what I saw on the news? And who taught us that? Paul Mooney, how to relax. He would just go up there in my mind. He was just vibing with the audience. He did a lot of that. And it worked, and I took that realm of relax. Mooney taught us a lot.

Relax. He was a real veteran. You know, he was like one of the only guys when we were there that was there during the prior years. The prior year. And was respected. He wasn't like one of those. There was a few guys that were still hanging around that had literally acts from the 1980s. They were still doing like Bruce Springsteen jokes.

No. It was just bad. But his laid back attitude. Always topical, too. Always new shit. Anytime new shit was going on the news, he had 10 solid minutes on it. And quick. Yeah.

That day. If it happened, they told on the news that night, that day, he grew up there. I remember he was crushing on stage once. We were dying the back of the room. We was, oh, that's right. I write, motherfucker. I write. Yeah.

No, no. He's a fucking. We were dying. But that calmness taught me how to, I was going up there and rushing. Yeah. I was going up there two mistakes. Rushing and worrying about that material like it was Bible. Right.

I'll give you an example. Sometimes I get an audition. Right, when I was doing a lot of auditions. This is when I learned that. Early on when I was auditioning. That if I focused on that line, those lines, I wasn't going to book that part. So I had to dip into Marlon Brando's fucking tools. Marlon Brando didn't read shit.

He put those signs on you, so you felt more organic. But it wasn't even that. It was know who your character is. I could tell you to go, fuck your mother, 18 different ways. Right? Right. So it's the same thing. You have to just learn, not the words, but what he's trying to say in there.

You don't need the words. The words are bullshit. What is this guy trying to say in that? Yeah, you take some of the sentences that he's saying, but you slow it down. And that's what he did in that scene when he tells everybody if my son should hang by a bolt of lightning, you, then out, Marlon Brando in the hotel scene, that's a beautiful fucking scene. If you love that shit like I do. All those motherfuckers were wearing signs.

You've seen the behind the scenes of that So their words, the script was on papers So Duvall was sitting across from him with a billboard That's hilarious That boss was sitting across from it and you see him Like he'd just look up And that I will not forgive And he'd take another pause and look at another cue card

And because he wanted it to be organic He didn't want it to sound like those fucking lines This writer wrote And that's for everything If you know the character I know the character. I know me. See?

Everybody had science, dog. That is really crazy. But it worked. Did it work? Did it work? And the Godfather, did it work? Okay, so go fuck yourself. He was watching this thing where they were very skeptical about him playing.

Oh, did you see the Sony thing? Yeah. The Sony series? Very good. Yeah, very good. Very good. What an interesting. Imagine skeptical about Marlon Brando playing the Godfather.

Well, brother, he had shot a movie. buty on the bounty and they went down there and the motherfucker fucked that chick and he wasn't even directing anymore he was in the hut he gave like the AD the camera you didn't hear about that?

That's a huge story That's Apocalypse now, right? No. And then Apocalypse now he went to a meeting they gave all this loot and they told him you gotta show up 180 like you're supposed to be a green beret

right? He showed up 400 Well that's why they kept him in the dark right They kept him in the dark and he shaved him a black shirt You know he didn't give a He did it however, and that's why they hated him. But at the same time, you got to love the motherfucker because it's working. Yeah, well, it was authentic, right?

Yeah, that Apple TV show was very interesting. It was. Very. And I met that dude. Remember, he created the longest yard. Out Ruddie did the longest yard from scratch. When he did The Godfather, I think he didn't take two, and he went to do the longest yard. He loved it.

So he created the longest yard So when we shot our longest yard He was there every Friday for his little chequee poo Big motherfucker Big dude dog Good dude Big hands and shit Would just talk to you about stuff

Good dude So I got it Like that motherfucker You know Rudy and I think he did something else after that Look at the movies he did Look at the movies he did Jamie when you got a minute

Paul Rudy's films What was that other question That had asked you earlier About? I asked you a little look something up. Yes, Omaha. Yes, Omaha. He was from Omaha.

That's what it is. What radio station? Is he still doing it? Yeah, it says he currently is. He currently is still. Look at that. We got to call him. I think he fought recently.

I think he had a fight within the last couple of years. Did he? This says 2017 for MMA box, bare knuckle boxing in 2023. That's it. Yeah. The one of all four of his bare knuckle fights.

Yeah. Bare knuckle fighting. Dude's a DJ. UFC veteran. It said, fuck it. Let's get some bare knuckle fights in. How fucking great is that? You could DJ and then go fight somebody.

Crazy. Yeah. And that's life, man. That's a life that's worth living. You got your money. You get your money's worth. You get your money's worth. Yeah.

You want to sit at home, be sanitary, whatever. Live like, you know, watching TV and you're scared. They're going to bomb you. You're done. You got to keep fucking living. And that's what, you know. Yeah. You got to do things.

That's the thing about life. You've got to do things. Too many people just sit around wanting to do things and not doing anything. It's hard to get moving, though. That's what a lot of people find. They find it's hard to, like, go out to that club for that first open mic, step into that gym the first time. Like D-Rod, Daniel Rodriguez.

Did you see that podcast? We talked about how we got arrested in Tijuana. No. You know D-Rod from the UFC? Yeah. So D-Rod beats Kevin Holland, right? goes to San Diego celebrating and his boys like, let's go to Tijuana.

Fuck yeah, let's go to Tijuana. Just go to drink. Have a good time. He just won a huge fight. Top 15 UFC Walterweight has an ounce of weed in his bag. He thinks, well, weeds legal in California, weeds decriminalized in Mexico.

Who cares? Maybe I'll bribe somebody. I'll get out of this. It's a federal offense to bring weed in. And even though weeds decriminalized in Mexico, it's not for visitors. It's only for Mexican citizens. Yeah, bro.

How do you got on that one? Well, one of the things he had to do is become a Mexican citizen. So he's got dual citizenship now. Yeah. He was in jail for fucking eight months, man. Oh, my God. Yeah, he was just training in jail. He looks great.

He looks great now. But when he got out, he was, he's like, I had no protein. So I'm in there working out every day with fucking eating noodles and potato chips. No protein. No protein. And so he got real thin. Like, he showed a photo of him, like, the day he got out. I mean, this motherfucker was trying.

training every day, twice a day, in jail. He's like, I'm going to make the most out of this, but it's, he has no food. The food's terrible, so his body had wasted away. I think I used to get protein power. He couldn't. He asked, he tried to get it. He said, you can get girls, he'd get all these different things. He goes, he couldn't get fucking good food.

In Mexico. In Mexico. Yeah. And he was a cellmate with a cartel guy. The cartel guy took care of him. The cartel guy recognized him. He took care of him, hang out with us. And he just, I'm going to just keep my nose down and just train.

But he said he got a bunch of guys training with them because they were in spot. They're like, fuck yeah, let's train with D-Rod. So he had all these guys in there. Some of them were fucking talented. Well, prison's fun. I don't give a fuck what anybody tells you. Once you get to your destination and you meet your homies and you create a little thing, it's like anything else.

We just can't step out the walls. But you make it happen. I laughed a lot in that, bro. I bet you did. Because nobody's funny in prison than black people. I don't give a fuck what they tell you. They're the true kings of the prison system. And I had the two best.

I had the two best. And, you know, sometimes that's why you first did stand up, right? First did stand up just for the inmates. Yeah, Wednesday, Thursday nights. They just talked some shit. During the movies, they would go, this movie sucks. They'd be like PT109. You know, we don't want to see fucking Kennedy in a movie.

Get up there, Cuba. And I would just go up there and fuck around. And it was nothing that was, I had to thought about anything. Like, you said something before, thinking about the first time you went to that open mic, was that scary for me. Terrified. Took me eight months.

I was such a pussy. I would call at Comedy Works in Denver every week, and every week I'd cancel. Joey Diaz, you have a three minutes spot. I don't feel good. And my ex-wife, God bless, as much as I hate her, she heard me on the phone and she had some mother to babysit. And she drove me down and I got on saying,

I remember getting off that stage going, how am I going to do this? I'm married with a kid. And three months later, she came home. He was like, you're a loser. I don't want to be married to you no more. I'm like, yes. Holy fuck.

You just did me fucking solid. Then she did me shitty afterward. But the point is she at least got me to that open mic. So I have to be grateful for something that she did, you know? The first step is the hard one. What I was saying about D-Rod, like the first time he ever went to the gym, his girlfriend got him a membership.

She was like he's because he drove by it a bunch of times. He thought about training, never went in. You had a bunch of street fights. Never went in. He's like, I think I could do that. And then finally, she's like, look, I got your present. I got your membership. Hold that thought.

Can I go pee real quick? We're at the two-hour market. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. I got to go pee. And we're back. That was a tremendous pee. Oh, my God.

The worst is when you try to concentrate and you have to piss. No, that's the worst. That's the fucking worst. You have to drive and shit and you got to pee. And to an age, I just pull over. Yeah. Highway. whatever. I open up the both doors

and I make believe I'm looking for something. And that dick is out peeing. I pee on the little league field. And then I got, after a surgery, they gave me a handicap sparking. I'm living like a doctor. You don't know what life is until you have handicapped parking, dog. You just pull right up. There's always a spot? Always.

Yeah. Like, when I got in the mail dog, I was happier. That made me so happy. Fuck walking. When I go to events now in Philadelphia, I just pull up and shit. Put a neck brace on, walk out and shit. Oh, it's been beautiful, Joe.

What do you have to do to get one of us? The doctor. That's it. The doctor was like, oh, do you have it after surgery? I'd get a feed for six months. And then he goes, hold on one second. He went out of the line. He's like, go, you qualify for everything.

You got everything on this list. Everything. Go. And they gave it to me for fucking like three years. Oh, nice. Yeah. I fucking, oh, tremendous, Joe. How does it feel right now?

You're all right? Yeah, it feels okay. Listen, what happens is you do something every week. Like the second week I went, third week I went. A couple weeks I went boxing. And it was good for like three times. And one day I went and I had a plan, 25 minutes, eight rounds. On the bag or the speed bag, but I do the bags and I alternate the bags.

Sure enough, round number six, one of the guys comes on. He goes, Joey, let's hit the mitts. I'm excited. You know, he's a young guy. Let's do it. I left there, my fucking leg blew up from that right punch to cross because everything walks into it. You're also moving around when you're in the midst.

So I said, fuck it. Now I got to stand in front of the bag. So I learned my lesson. And then last week I went to PT, and that motherfucker had me. I mean, I love them. But, TJ, this motherfucker had me doing dead slips and wall squats with a thing, where your weight on the back and you go all the day. So it's all just to strengthen the muscles back up.

You have to, but I prepped. I listened to. to you guys. I, you know, I did everything I could before the surgery. That's what made it easier. Made a lot easier. I called you. I told you, I was doing shit in five days.

I didn't have a cane no more. You know, I was done. I started driving at eight days. Not because I couldn't, but because I was sick and tired of my wife driving me places. And I got to, you know, argue with him on the right-hand lanes. No problem? Yeah, like a motherfucker. Wow.

That's crazy. It was the right foot, which is the accelerated brake combo. So, yeah. But, yeah, I was out of the house. You know, the pain pills were done after eight days. Then I had to bring them back for PT. They were fucking killing me after PT. So after PT, you pop one, go home, put ice on it, rub it down with the cream and stay off it for an hour or two.

But then at night, I take a walk around the neighborhood. You're trying to strengthen this shit. Right, right. You know, we're talking about it outside. Let's say you're in a hospital for five days and you eat cereal for five fucking days. You gain weight. Your muscle breaks down and goes away. Like five days stay in the hospital

We could fucking kill you Just because again there's not that much protein You're not getting 150 grams of protein of that And you're not moving And you're not moving So that's the big one I prep for the surgery I took all the supplements

Wasteel told me everything Besberine I took shit my fucking pisses like glows in the dark at night purple yellow It's fucking amazing I did all my PTs All my BPCs 157 All my TB 500s

I did them for fucking to the T like they told me to. And, you know, listen, I'm 63, and it's a 63-year-old knee. So I don't expect to be in the UFC fighting O'Gerry next week. But I could walk around and enjoy life with no fucking pain.

Or no, it's not pain. It's like, you always have an issue. You know it. Yeah. You always have that thing with your knees. Sometimes it sticks. Well, then you got to do simple shit. You got to get your piece of paper

put on the floor and just roll your heel back and forth 20 times and do kicks when you're sitting around. All those things help the knee. You get that band, and you put it around your leg, and you just straighten out your leg. I do that at home. This is shit I do at home.

You know, instead of watching TV, it takes 15 fucking minutes. 15 fucking minutes of your time. And I got the bull worker. They sent me a bull worker. What's that? The thing I told you last time about it, it's isometric shit.

Oh, okay. So I did the bull worker. I did the deadlifts at the bulwaker. Now I'm fucked because I don't know how to change the strings. So I got to learn how to fucking change the strings. But that's all it was. It was preparing for the search. surgery.

Right. You can't just go in there and not strengthen the little muscles around the area. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, you got to do something. It's very important, especially if you're going to go into surgery. I know a lot of people that have had knee surgery and didn't do that. They won't go to PT.

It's like, you don't go to PT. What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. They came, listen, I had the surgery Thursday. They were my house knocking Friday fucking afternoon. I was home Friday from the hospital, and they said they're coming over today. that motherfucker had me going up and downstairs walking outside with the cane getting in out of the tub he was I don't even have a tub I have a walking child but he was like I'm going to

do everything with you so it was pretty fucking like I said this surgery was a lot better the company that I did business with was a lot better last time I did at center state that's like a medical network in New Jersey not bad to have a great facility there but you know when I went to do the surgery when acupuncture said When you go talk to that guy the day before the surgery, ask him about the sanitary conditions at the hospital. So when I went, I said, hey, what's the sanitary conditions at the hospital? He's like, ah, you hear rumors.

And then when I went for the surgery, they prepped me up. They gave me everything. They gave me the IV. They were right about to do that thing in my right back. And he said, we're not doing the surgery. I don't agree with sanitary. I was pissed, but I'm like happy. I could have ended up.

The doctor didn't agree with the sanitary conditions? He came out. said, no, not today. We'll do it next. We've got a different hospital. What? Yeah. So were people getting Mercer or something?

Something. That's got Mercer in there. And they're like, no, everybody was telling me, be careful with the Mercer in that hospital. Oh, Merce is fucking terrifying. But the funny thing was he gave me a 20 milligram oxy, which they never gave you. That's a strong motherfucker.

And I forgot I took it. Remember I told you? I forgot. I'm in a Chinese restaurant yelling, Geno. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me? Oh, shit. I took that 20.

I was fucked up for eight hours on that. So they give it to you before the surgery. Yeah, just one of the precaution. They did that. A precaution? Yeah, precaution, whatever. The fucking... So you didn't wake up in the middle of surgery,

yelling and fucking screaming like a pussy. They do that. The epidural... The epidural was tough because I felt it in my nut sack. Like, they give you a couple shots, and one of the shots made me actually go like this because I felt it on the bottom towards the end of the nut sack, not the meat potatoes part,

but towards the end, close to the muffler. I was like this. This is not Buenos Dog. What is the thing they do? I saw this video online about it. It's like, I think it's called nerve ablation. I might be making that up. But they literally like cut the nerves off when people have back pain.

Like some people with back pain, it's like they're in constant nerve pain. And they were showing how they just snip the nerves. And I was like, wait, wait a minute. Does that hinder your movement? Like what is, what happens there? Is this it? Yeah. So what is that?

Radio frequency ablation for back pain management. What does it mean? Like, what does that, what do they do? Because the way I was looking at online, I'm like, it looks like they just cut the nerves. A minimally invasive outpatient procedure uses heat to intentionally damage nerves carrying pain signals from the spine to the brain.

Primarily provides long-lasting relief for chronic back pain caused by arthritis or facet joint degeneration. Wow. But does that mean your back just keeps getting worse, but you don't feel it? What happens when do you do that? Duration? The procedure typically takes 30 to 60 minutes. You could usually go home the same day. Pain relief is not immediate. Often takes one to three weeks for the nerve to fully settle. Relief typically lasts anywhere from

six to 12 months, although it can last for several years for some patients. Are the nerves permanently destroyed? No, the nerves regenerate over time. When the nerve grows back, your pain may return, but the procedure can be repeated. Whoa. What's the recovery and risks? What's the risks? Complications are rare, but include infection, bleeding at the insertion site, temporary numbness, or skin irritation.

Oh, normal stuff. Huh. Interesting. Pain, that's nuts, man. Just shut off the pain. You kind of want to know if it hurts, though, no? I would imagine, like, you're doing more damage if it hurts. Right?

It's a cortisol. You're numbing it. Right. And then it keeps getting worse, but you don't feel... Well, especially cortisone. With cortisone, you can only do that so many times for, like, joints. Like, it can degrade tendons and stuff. Because some people, their knuckleheads, they just keep getting cortisone shots.

Next thing you know, your shoulder falls apart. You don't know. That's the worst thing. Yeah. You could tear shit easier. And that's what they'll let you do if you let them. So this is what I'm saying. Unless you check out what option...

Listen, it's 2026, man. I'm scared of needles. And I'll tell you, half my life. I fucked up because I was scared of needles. If I would have just, I don't know what it was. I was just scared of needles. Now, I'll fucking take a needle wherever the fuck you want to give it to. You know what I'm saying?

Like, now you can shoot me when I'm standing up. Once you get used to doing peptides, needles don't mean shit. And those are just diabetic needles. They don't do fucking shit. It's good to stop taking medicine if you don't want to take medicine. Ah, that makes sense. So if you're in pain anyway. Yeah.

So a success rate is 70 to 85%. it's most stressful when the procedure targets the medial branch nerves responsible for facet joint arthritis success typically defined as 50% are greater reduction in lower back pain better physical function reduced need for pain medication that's big because some people they're just to fucking especially back stuff some people are just in agony every day they wake up and they're just in agony and it's a long road back you know to get in if you have back pain it's a long road to heal that shit. And you've got to be very, very smart about it.

And you've got to stretch. That's one thing that a lot of people don't like to do. A lot of lower back pain, a lot of that is just, everything's tight. And you can stretch and relieve a lot of that shit. A lot of that. Yoga comes in handy. You don't go anymore, do you? You don't go anymore.

I do a lot of yoga things, though. A youse? I haven't, yeah. We actually have a yoga room in the studio. I've never used it. We've got a heated room. We could crank that fucker up to 105 degrees and do you. I haven't done the real life.

I'll tell you what else I did after the surgery that worked, hyperbaric chamber. Oh, yeah. That's big. I did that twice a week. I still got six left. That's huge for recovery. For recovery, that's fantastic.

And my oxygen levels are always low, Joe. I got to figure. I got to talk to ways to well tomorrow. Every morning I wake up, 88%. You know, I'm always in the red zone. I got to, because I think lack of oxygen is helping me burn fat and a lot of other shit. My oxygen is on 88 some days. 80 fucking five.

Why would that help you burn fat? Because you need oxygen to do everything. You need oxygen for a fucking fire. So if you have low oxygen, you burn fat? How can you recuperate? How can you fully recuperate? No oxygen in your fucking... I think.

I don't fucking know. I'm not sure that's correct. But I think that the more you exercise, the more you're going to get oxygen in your system for sure. Hyperbaric chamber will help. But once you're fully healed up and you can really exercise on a regular basis, it'll get back to normal. Not because I do breath exercise every morning. That's what you have to do.

You have to breathe through your nose like 10 times and then hold it and then I take the... What do they think is causing it? The low oxygen. They don't know. They don't know. They don't know nothing. They don't want to find out nothing. But I'll take the cord and the clip that you put on your finger.

I put it on my ear. It gives you a better read. What's more accurate? So far, the ear for me. I learned that from an old Filipino lady in the hospital. She had all the tricks. So I do that. I test it.

You know, when I wake up in the morning I have it, I check my blood pressure like twice a day. It's the best than it's been in 20 fucking years. I think some of those Fitbits can do that shit now. Can they do that? Do they measure oxygen levels? Some of those really advanced wearable devices can measure oxygen levels too now, I think.

Is that real? Yeah, yeah, they all do. They all do. That's part of the deal. They measure your, Heart rate, heart rate variable. Like those wearables, like the wrist stuff? Yeah.

Oh, really? So I'll tell you what I got in mind. I got the fuck in the mornings. It tells you... What are you wearing? A whoop? Yeah, within rage. The whoop does that?

The who tests oxygen levels? No. It has respiratory rate? I got to get back on the whoop. I used to use it all the time. They've gotten even better. Yeah, this one is a lot better. My heart rate's good today.

My oxygen's 91 because I'm here with you. and my skin temperature is minus 1, so it takes all that shit. My problem with wearables is all these tattoos. So, like, this... Okay, it's reading it now. This reads my heart rate. This is a garment.

It reads my heart rate. Now it's not. Like, it doesn't read through the tattoos very well. I have to, like, move it around. That's fucking insane. Yeah. That's fucking insane. You can't read through the tattoos.

Because the inks in the way. It doesn't... You know, it's literally using... some sort of a visual system. It's light. Like if you look at the back of the watch, there's like a light back there.

See? Yeah, I am the same. That is flashing into your veins, and then it somehow or another gets information from that. And that's how it tells you your heart rate. Yeah, because I'm the same thing. Yeah, so the problem is all these tattoos.

I thought about, like, removing my tattoos just around the whole, the circle where the watch goes, just like go get it lasered I might do it because I don't see that anyway I always have a watch on and so like now it's reading that speaking about

you know burning your nerves and all that shit and that thing I remember one year I had a fun I still got a fungi toenail but I had the really bad fungi toenail and I saw a thing in Group On for a company in Studio City that blow torched it with heat for six sessions

To kill the fungus? Yeah no it never worked but I went anyway The lady would put like a mask on. And she'd look at my tone like you would see her fucking. And as she was burning it, you could smell the fungus burning. It smells like dead fucking assholes. And she would be there. And I would ask her questions so she'd have to pull the mask off.

Take her away for this fucking fungi toenail. Oh, there's times I buff it out myself now because nobody will buff it out for me. Like I can't take it to a Chinese woman. They'll lose their mind. Can you put like anti-fungus cream on or something? I put everything on it. It's too deep. This fungus runs deep.

This is the fungus I brought back from Cuba. And it fucking pops up from time to time. I get under my tit. Like it just, the fungus just grows. I don't know what I have to eat. Like some days I eat something and it backfires. And I get all these fungus marks. I get all itchy and shit out of a creep.

But this bitch burnt that toe for six weeks. And every week I'll ask them more creepy questions. She would have to take that mask off and smell that fungus. Dog, it was horrible. When she would walk out, she closed the door. Like, I was like, nope. And the thing never worked. She never burned me once, but she was serious with that blow torch.

It didn't work? No, it did nothing. I told you, the fungus is too deep. So to get rid of that, you have to do a liver test to see how strong. Because the zapping is fucking hard on your body. And it's really hard on your liver. So my liver didn't cut it. so they can't zap me with that medication.

Did you hear about that lady who had Alzheimer's? She couldn't talk anymore. They gave her five grams of psilocybin mushrooms. And she's singing opera now. All of a sudden she came back. It's unbelievable. They said she hadn't talked in a long time.

She could remember things? I know for a fact, I got a good buddy of mine that studded. That was his childhood thing. Every time you smoke cracked, you should have seen that motherfucker, not a strut in there. He talks to you straight.

You know Paul Stameth, the mushroom expert? He's been on this podcast many times. He's a legitimate mycologist, like a scientist. He had a horrible stutter when he was a kid. Took 10 grams. Gone. Gone. Gone.

It's unreal. And people will still go, nah. Mushrooms are deadly. They're going to kill you. Fuck you. Isn't that crazy? You need to see the devil every once in a while in your life. And that's what people don't.

They don't see the downside. Because eating those mushrooms in time to time makes you step out like T. Like T.HC does. And makes you look at yourself. and make like a judgment call on what the fuck you're doing with your life What are you doing with your life? You're chewing that fucking zinn and talk at the same time?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't have big enough fucking gums, I guess. I don't know. Don't stay there. Yeah, it's... The real problem is that it's illegal. You know what they should do with that? You know, what they did with Colorado

with 39% tax? Make mushrooms 100%. Tax it 100%. We'll still buy... People will still buy it. Make it legal taxed at 100%. You know much fucking money they would generate? And I guarantee...

you, well, I was going to say people wouldn't be doing more mushrooms, but they definitely would. If you grew... But it'd been good for everybody. Listen, the only thing that stalls people from mushrooms is the taste. Most people put it in the grinder, and then they put it in capsules, and they do it that way. All different things. That should not be a hurdle in 2026. When you told me you were going to get that property a couple years ago, which you didn't get,

I thought you were going to grow mushrooms out there. Like, get somebody to set up and Joe Rogan's mushrooms. Why? I would never do that. What? Your fucking recipe, like... No, it's... That's not legal.

I would always get it. It's not legal in federally. That's the problem. I mean, this is part of what Trump is trying to change with this psychedelics act. So all that shit was made illegal in 1970. It was the Nixon administration. The Controlled Substances Act. If that hadn't happened in 1970, we'd be living in a better world.

Like, legitimately, we would be living in a better world. You'd have way more people having access to this stuff. way more people that could get over whatever the fuck their hurdle is, whatever problem they have, whatever it is. It's not for everybody. There's a lot of people that shouldn't do it. There's a lot of people that just get schizophrenic and that they just need one mushroom trip and they're gone. One push.

They're never coming back. There's a lot of people that are hanging on. They're hanging on. And one edible, one mushroom trip, one, one, one meeting with the devil, and they never come back. That's true. But those people were already fucked. That's the problem. for the rest of us, for the rest of the world, which is like most things.

Like some people eat a Brazil nut. They're dead, right? Some people eat peanuts and they're dead. They have a deadly allergy to peanuts. I can eat peanuts all day long. Can you look up how many people die every year from fucking peanuts? It's quite a few. Come on.

Yeah, it's quite a few. It's kind of shocking. Why? Well, here's the really crazy thing. A lot of people think it has to do with vaccines. They think this is Brett Weinstein's proposal. is that when you take that vaccine, so there's aluminum in the vaccine that's an irritant, right?

And this is what fires up your immune system, and then there's the dead virus. So your body develops these antibodies. Look at that. One to four annually. It's a lot of people. It's a lot of people. No.

Four people? Four whole people? What about in the world? How many people die about it's four in the world? Because none of them die anywhere else. Food allergies in general response to about 100 deaths? Yeah. This is all made up.

White people shit. Well, there's a few people, though, they just avoid the peanuts. But there are people that if they get peanuts, they'll die. Brett Weinstein thinks it has to do with eating peanuts right after you've been vaccinated. And that something, I don't know if he's right, but something about your body reacting. This is the reason why your body creates this antibody to the dead virus that's in the vaccine. You know, if you give someone whatever it is. And he figure out whatever the diseases.

You have a dead virus and then you have this irritant. So the two of them together, your body reacts to this aluminum, and it used to be, what is the other shit that they don't put in it? There was mercury, ethelmercury and methylmercury. The two different types of mercury they've tried to do that in vaccines. But there's problems with that too, obviously. Mercury's toxic. So is aluminum. But he thinks that if you have aluminum from this vaccine and you're in contact with other things at the same time, you could develop.

an allergy for those things, whether it's wheat, gluten, whether it's animals, whatever it is. Like, it's possible he believes to develop an allergy when you get vaccinated. And he thinks that's with the rise in vaccines and the rise in food allergies, he thinks those are connected. Let me ask you this. I don't know if he's right. If you went to your grandfather in Newark, he's an immigrant and came over and you told me you had a peanut allergy, how many times are you smack you in the fucking face?

Well, he wasn't a violent man. But still he told Joe, what the fuck? Be nuts. He would make fun of it. I grew up on pine nuts every fucking day. Two pine nuts. I was loyal to maple syrup. Well, the idea of being allergic to bread back then was preposterous.

First of all, he would get bread like every two days. They would go down to the local Italian bakery and buy Italian bread. It's the only bread everybody ate in the house. It's so funny. Like, I didn't even appreciate it back then. Like, when I'd have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'd be like, why do they give it to me on this bullshit thick bread? because you got to cut the bread.

Yeah. You know? I'm like, give me some fucking white bread like a real person. Well, some wonder bread. That's what I wanted. When you're a kid,

you want Wonderbread. I love Wonder bread. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a wine. Like I'd get whole wheat. I'd be like, what is this horse shit? I think he'd be in prison. What is this terrible fucking shitty brand-filled wheat? With all the fucking chunks of wheat that's in it?

Get the fuck out of here with your whole wheat bread. I hated it. Now I love it. Now it's the only, like, if I see like regular white bread, I'm like, ugh. I never eat that. That bread that your grandfather was getting in Hoboken, in Newark. Newark, yeah.

Two blocks away. They were old school Italian people. They made everything in the 70s and 60s without all the shit that's in now. I remember the bags. Yeah. White paper bags. Yeah. And the fresh Italian red.

Oh, it's phenomenal. It's fucking great. With a piece of butter. When you dip it in the pasta sauce. Oh, my God. So good. With butter, you put butter on that bread and you dip it in that pasta sauce? Holy shit.

Don't have to stop eating mumps. Right. That's my favorite. favorite dish muscles with spicy with medium yeah because you need a loaf of bread my body can't fucking do that no more especially with the red sauce oh they'll go through the whole loaf of bread oh

they'll go through the whole loaf with the butter with the olive oil on the bread you need all that shit I said I can't eat muscles no more I love muscles I go to Rudy's I get some muscles they're big they look like a fucking chick a six look like a six foot woman's clit they're that fucking big the muscles you think I'm kidding you these fucking

clit muscles when I go to other restaurants, you get those little muscles, then you got a couple big ones? No, no, no. They give you nine big chick, gorilla raised fucking pussy clits. And they're huge, and they put a little sauce on it. So good. Oh, my God. It makes me go fucking. There was a Thai

place that I used to go to in L.A. Thai food. And they had muscles, and they had muscles. Big, fucking spicy muscles. They were huge. So good. Oh. Not the Thai place Eddie took me to, the one next to the fucking tent planet on La Brea. Oh, yeah.

I went in there with Eddie one night and I already hate Thai food. And Eddie took, come on, I'll buy your lunch. I'm broke. You don't like Thai food? I went in there, there was ants on the wall. I'm like, what the fuck? But I like the one that you took your shoes up. They had the best shrimp paté in the country.

You took your shoes off? Yeah, this one on sunset right across the comic book store. Toy? Toy. Toy. Toy tie. Yeah. Oh, that place legit.

Solid place. Very good place. The best place ever was what's the place next to the Laugh Factory? Greenblast deli? Greenblatt's Del. Oh, that was a great joint. Until I tell you this story. I'm in there with Ralphie Mae one day, and he gets a roast beef sandwich.

And he's eating the roast beef, and I could see the ants on his arm. And he opens it up, and there's ants all over a sandwich. Listen to me, call the waiter. The waiter's still charging for half a sandwich. That's hilarious. He's like, I ain't paying shit. This motherfucker had ants on it. I didn't even eat the other one.

The ants were on his fucking arm, Joe. They weren't in the sandwich? They were on his arm. They weren't in the sandwich, too. Oh, so it was just all over the place? It was all over the place. Greenblats? Greenblats.

Which I'll still eat that. I don't even think it's then. What year was that? I only ate there a few times, which is weird because it was right next door to the Laugh Factory. It was good, too. I kind of stopped going to the Laugh Factory after a certain point. It was a certain point in, like, the 2000s where I'm like, I think I'm done with this place. And I was mostly at the store.

Yeah, I like the Laugh Factory. I like the improv. I love the improv still. I always did the improv still. I always did the improv still. But the laugh factory to me was like there was something about it that was like sterile. There was something about it. Not a bad thing, but it was like very much like a lot of people got TV deals out of the laugh.

That was the big thing about the laugh factory. Yeah. You know, it was a, the store was the dream. You know, the laugh factor was nice and everything. But then it was also like, remember Scott Day, he would discourage, we tried to discourage you from going to the laugh factory. Like, you're a comedy store comic. You know how a half factory come? I'm like, listen, man, I got to go up everywhere. I can't,

I'm developing. I can't be just limiting myself to one place. But after a while, you're like, I develop better at the store. Well, the thing about the store, too, you've got three totally different environments. You've got the belly room environment, which is like very intimate, very small, 70 people. And then you've got the

OR, which is the gritty. That's the psychopaths at 1130 on a fucking Tuesday night. And then you got the main room, which is big show. There was so much opportunity. I fucking always hated the main room until the last five years I was there. I just couldn't get the formula for it.

But the original room, I knew it like everything. The original room, you're locked into a living room. You're locked into it. And then the piano and the whole fucking thing. The main room was big. Big stage, big crowd. It was big ceiling. Everything was big. It was different. It was a different kind of a show. Remember the first time I showcased for Jamie? It was like, man, what are you doing here?

You belong in Las Vegas, man, in the showroom. You're not an L.A. comic. That's hilarious. Jamie always had the craziest ideas for people. But at the end, he was a really good guy. At the end of the day, he really tried hard. Well, he loved comedy. Yeah, he loved comedy.

All those people were very nice. You know, I just went to Nashville for the Comedy Festival. I ended up doing the old Osprey, you know, that theater there. What's the name of the theater? Randall Opry? Yeah. And it was great. But the great thing about that, that everybody from the improv is still.

last night. I saw people that were there for 25 years. And we just were dropping stories. Aaron, the guy, Hartman, Hartman looks great. He's a big peptide guy, big everything guy. He was in Nashville. Joel from Florida. You know, and you get to see those guys and you're like, wow, we've been in this shit together. Forever. Like I told Aaron, I met Aaron in Irvine. Then she came to Hollywood and I was like, psych because she gave us an 11 o'clock show. And she was pregnant. She was hot. She used to wear the farmer, those things.

The overalls? The overalls. She was so hot. I still tell her. When I talk to, I always told Aaron, you sexy savage, I always fucking torment it. But it was really nice to see them. And, you know, Hartman and me told the story when I told him I was going to bang his head off the wall. You know, just craziness.

That, look at us now. We're all in there having a great time. 20 years ago, we were always at war with one of you guys. We cursed too much. You know, we were talking about when I got fired with Pablo. Yeah. And then he found out I wasn't doing Coke and he felt really bad, you know.

So it was just great to see what we've been through together. And now, after everything, you're like, fuck. I was there the fucking night Joe started. That was in Miami, right? That was in Miami, 98. Yeah. New Year's of 99.

That's crazy. And Madonna came in with Chris fucking rock. Wow. And to watch somebody at New Year's Eve, I forget who the fuck it was. But yeah, you look at those people, you're like, we took the ride. We were kids. We were fucking kids together. And also, you have to think, like, imagine having to employ you.

Imagine being a businessman, and you got to employ you in 98. God bless him. Not good. God bless him. Don't I remember the improv really liked me, and I fucked them over in, like, 2007. Who was the guy, the original? original guy at coconut grove the guy who liked to party

I forget his name now Rich Jeff give me a minute yeah give me a minute the original guy yeah crazy it was fun crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy really fun he's from Cleveland he lived in Cleveland

like to party and his wife hit the lottery for a million of the people didn't realize how nutty coconut Grove was that was the nuttiest improv that improv we would go out afterwards and have Cuban coffee and eat Cuban sandwiches at like 2 o'clock in the morning We used to go to that news thing, the newsstand. Yeah, yeah.

It was open until five, and it closed for an hour. We'd always tell stories. Yeah. And you could drink till all night. Oh, yeah. So they closed from five to six. Whatever booze you had on the table, you could keep. So you would say, give me like eight beers.

And then they would open up again at six, and you're right there. Hey. They closed for one hour. Oh, God. And five in the morning. I remember one night you were on Conan O'Brien. This is 97. Right?

No. You did somebody's late show. Okay. It was the week that our friend got shot. Oh, that Hartman? Hartman did. You can't believe her. See, I'm just telling you that I don't know shit.

Look up to dates. When Hartman got shot, you were on that show. Like, you were with me all weekend, and I stayed, and then you went to New York to shoot that, and then that weekend, Hartman, you know. But I'll never forget. I was involved in a threesome when you were on that talk show. And I'm, it's a chubby chick and a hot chicken with snort and coke.

And I'm trying to eat ass and I'm looking at you. I go, pull on NBC so I go watch Joe. And I'm watching you as I'm trying to tackle these two animals. I'm like, who the fuck going to believe this? Chubby chick got up. She's like, you didn't want to be with me anyway. You always wanted the hot chick and slammed the door. It was a full night.

It was a full night. Cocaine. But all that shit, you see these things. people now and you're like bro we all went through it together yeah we all went through it together what a great fucking thing to have at this time in your life that we all we're all here you know fucking really nice man it makes you go wow this comedy life was worth every fucking penny i got into it it's a fun ride when you look back and you think like imagine when you were first starting out imagine that it would turn out this way you never imagined it and then you look back like what a fun ride

What an extraordinarily fun life I'll never forget You had it pinned down from the beginning I never even told you this One of my friends I got to LA like January 97 And that summer like August Nope

No that's Cleveland Improv I know it sits you on the One of Miami too Oh no it was the manager No worries though Thank you though What we talked about? Something pinned down

manager what the fuck knows we were talking about oh never imagining they're looking back on this life like when you first started you'd never imagine it turned out this way

you said something about me once that was right like I wasn't on the podcast but you were talking to something I remember when that guy first came on the scene he was scary he had a leather jacket and all this shit and he was buck wild

you know I just got to LA And I do a couple spots. The guys at my first talent coordinator at the improv said to me, hey, would you like to work Irvine? And I go, yeah. He goes, I got an MC spot. Go do it next week. My first time, I go down there,

and I had a crazy girlfriend then with all the teeth. Oh, yeah. And this motherfucker had Shapp comes up to me and her, and he goes, hey, she's got the same mouth as Gina Davis, the nice cocksucker mouth. That was my first weekend, I never. And at first I took it kind of weird. After the show, I went up to him, and I go, hey, man, what the fuck do you think you are?

I was saying something like that. He goes, what are you doing? If you go at me, you'll never work on improv again. I just kicked them in the fucking stomach as hard as I could. They called me the next day. Joey, come on, man. I kicked him, the guy fell apart. All of a sudden, he wasn't a tough guy no more.

I was just so pissed. How can you say that to somebody's fucking girlfriend to a face? I just fucking front kicked him, and I hit him somewhere in the stomach. He was holding on him, I'm calling Hartman. Call fucking Hartman. I don't give a fuck. I remember getting the car going, Joey, you can't let the old Joey get in the way, man. This is not good.

You should have just walked away. But no, why would I walk away? Fuck that shit. That was the problem. A lot of people would walk away from that shit, and you just lost. You just became a Hollywood asshole. When you say, fuck you, they'll respect you fucking more a year later. And they did.

They ended up giving me more work. Was that guy still there when you went back? No. He was like a cute cook that thought he was cute. Like Orange County, he wasn't going to get smacked. I don't give a fuck who you are. I fucking. kick that motherfucker. I didn't give a fuck, Jack. I was so buck wild at the store in the

beginning when I hit the kid in the head with the microphone. And then they came and got me in La Jolla and I took the pool, the pool, remember they had that pool table in La Jolla, the bumper, they had a bumper pool table in La Jolla. Right. So these guys kept threatening me. They were going to come game. So I got, I became fucking Chuck Norris and called a silence. I took all the pool balls and I put them in different places. So I had to throw him at him as a weapon. Then I hit all the fucking pool cues. You ever see Call the Silence?

Then Segal stole it from him in that fucking Bobby Lupo movie. But that was Chuck Norris, when he would fill a bag with pool cues and hit you in the head with it and shit in the pool hall with the Colombians. Doug, and that motherfucker, I saw them. I was sitting outside the La Jolla Stormer. They had that little bench facing the Chinese restaurant.

You don't remember La Jolla no more. And I saw them at the light, and they made the turn. And I took one of those balls, and I kept it right here. And they pulled up and took water pistols out. And I fucking took that ball and threw it with everything. It hit that car. And all of a sudden the fucking car went, boom.

These motherfuckers took off, Jack. Code of Silence. I remember this because this was like the first, like, real movie movie that, like, got respected by, it wasn't just a karate movie. It was a movie that was about, like, an undercover. cop movie, right? Yeah. Against the Columbia.

But it was, the fighting part was just part of it. It wasn't that it was, you know, it was just a karate movie. Like most of his other movies were just karate movies. Or, you know, they were kind of campy, like missing in action. It was a lot of it based on the karate.

This was, oh, we got hit by the pool ball. Oh, they jump them. This is a terrible movie. This is terrible. I thought men. It was the shit back then. So when you watch it now, you're like, this is the corneous fight seat of all the time. These guys would overwhelm him.

Listen, man. Good men wear black. Chuck Norris had a couple movies where he showed his shit. This was not one of them. Walker, Sheriff Marshall was not one of them, okay? With the wig doing push-up still on Channel 89. That wasn't him. I love Chuck Norris.

But Chuck Norris made some good movies early on that were dark. That's why nobody talks about good men black. What's the other one? The octagon. Oh, yeah. You forget about all the ones. Oh, yeah. Is this good men, good guys wear black?

1978. Wow. How many fucking people did this guy get into martial arts? Like, how many people, because of Chuck Norris movies, wind up doing martial arts? Oh, fucking shitload. I got into Tank Sudo because of him. Because he was one of the first Tank Sudo guys, then he split. He made his own thing or whatever the fuck

It's kind of amazing when you think about how many karate guys didn't make it Like how many guys didn't become karate movie stars And Chuck Norris did Like how many of them were there How many karate guys wanted to be movie stars And couldn't figure it out and he did So I saw every martial arts film made in the 70s Even with the black exploitation, the movie was called Three the Hard Way

Jim Brown, Jim Kelly, and the other really good black looking. I forget about Jim Kelly. Jim Kelly was trying to break into that thing. There was a lot of guys. He did a bunch of movies. And then after Bruce Lee died, the whole thing opened up. Yeah, Jet Li, Jet Li, Jet Lu.

Bruce Lie. Bruce Lie. You had all these fucking Bruce's. And that was the end of it. But I was notorious. I wanted to see all those fucking movies growing up. Billy Jack. Do you remember Billy Jack?

I remember Billy Jack. The Indian? Oh, yeah, I remember. I remember the black hat. I remember the whole deal. I'm going to put this foot on the side of your face. All that shit. It's not a damn thing you can do about.

They even had a white Mormon dude, Beard Marshall. Everybody, Chinese, black. Everybody played fucking Kung Fu. Everybody. And that movie, quote of silence, is Dennis Farina's, one of his first movies. Oh, really? Yeah, he's a sidekick in that movie.

Fucking, you just, you know, people forget how many kung fu movies or Marshall are based movies they actually made in the 70s. Fucking unreal. And the shit that was getting sent here from China, it's like kid porn. They were just sending there every weekend. Fucking Chinese people beating up on Chinese people jumping.

Remember the more they got older, like by 70s. Bruce died in 73. By 76, there was movies that the guy had like a thing of gold. It weighed like two tons, and he would throw it up a hill and then jump and catch it on top of the hill. Come on, now you lost me. The one-armed swordsman, you lost me. He's got one arm, and he's funny.

Some dudes love those kung fu movies. They were completely ridiculous. And forget about black people. Like, you know, when people talk about Bruce Lee, it was a sensational, cultural fucking phenomenon when he came. And the people that, think about all the people he opened up to martial art movies. And martial arts in general. I mean, Chuck Norris was the second half of it.

You know, Bruce was the first. Chuck Norris was the second. And I hate to admit it, UFC is the third big wave of that. Yeah. You know, nobody goes to karate no more. Okay? How many karate schools you got? It's for kids 10.

They make them hit a paper. Yeah, they're going to Jiu-Jitsu schools now. They're going at all different schools. So it's changed. The culture has changed. You know, in 73, everybody went to Wingchung Kung Fu. Yep. You taught judo?

You became a Wing Chung dude now because you weren't going to make no money off judo. Nobody was doing judo back then. You had to go to Brooklyn to get Savat classes. Remember Savat? Yeah. The French. You had to go to Brooklyn. In those days, New York had everything.

But then when, like, our friend, the one who does the MMA podcast with you, Matt Serra, when Matt Serra got into Jiu-Jitsu, he would have to go from Long Island all away to, like, close to Philadelphia. It'd be three hours on Sundays. Jiu-Jitsu wasn't everywhere yet. When he got into it, he would have to travel. I think he told the story, one of these podcasts. He would have to drive to Jersey just on Sundays. they just did jujitsu on Sundays

because that's all that was available. Now you've got a jih Tzu school on every fucking corner. Who's that because of... That's because of the UFC, man. It just blew it the fuck right open. So, who knows? I may be wrong.

No, I think you're right. For sure, the UFC opened up Brazilian jiu jiu jitsu. Hoyce Gracie. Hois-gracy went in the first UFCs. That opened up Brazilian jiu-Jitsu all over the country. Saying what the fuck is this?

Yeah, it was a completely new... I mean, there was no Brazilian jiu-jitsu in America. You never even... talked about it. I did martial arts my whole life. I've never even heard of it. You heard of it, but I don't even know if I did. It was so far off to you. I barely even paid attention to it. It was like, it could have been anything. And then all of a sudden the UFC came along and it's like, oh my God, that's the thing that everybody needs to learn. That's what's wild now. It's like how many people trained martial arts in comparison to like 50 years ago? It's not, there's no

comparison. There's way more people that know how to fight now than like ever before. And ever before. Or at least they know how to neutralize somebody. Well, a lot of people are training now. There's way more schools now. There's way more schools now. So, anybody who studied jiu-jitsu ain't got to bully you. Okay, they're going to neutralize you on the street.

We're going to break your fucking shoulders on the street. They're trying to neutralize you. Hold you down. Hey, take a breath. Relax. Don't swing at me because I'll break this fucking arm. Do you ever see the video of Matt Serra? I think it was in Atlantic City.

And it might have been Vegas. Somewhere in a casino. Some drunk guy has come. cause of problems and Matt winds up taking him down and mounting them until the cops come. He's just holding on to the guy. He's just sitting on the guy. Hold on out. There it is. The guy's swinging. Look at Matt.

Like you've got a literal Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu world champion and he's just mounting you laughing. Like you think about picking on the wrong guy. He's just holding on. I mean the guy's completely helpless. I don't remember the whole

story behind this. Look at the security guard coming. I was like, relax. I got this guy. both know Mac could knee him, kick him in the face and get up and leave. He could literally kill them. This is what I'm telling you. The jihitsu, that atmosphere doesn't teach you to do that. It just hold you down and going, hey. Well, he's not to approve.

No, catch your breath. He's laughing. He's a world champion. I mean, I don't know if he had been the UFC champion by that time, but, you know. What are you going to do? Come over somebody on the street and break their shoulder. Now you have to live. You're going to go to jail.

You're sued. You lose everything. I know jiu-jitsu people take you down. Like, if they're bouncer. Yeah. They just neutralize you. It was the night before his Hall of Fame induction to the S. Okay, so that's way past the time that he won the title.

Yeah, that's hilarious. That's very funny. That poor guy, imagine, like, knowing that guy could have killed you, and he was just so nice. All he did was hold your wrists and sit on your chest for a little while. And he was looking at him. He looked like he was on a boat, having a good time. He was like, hey, somebody get me a water or something.

The guy's literally helpless. He has no fear whatsoever that guy hurting him. You know, it's like a child. It's like your little child's having a temper tantrum. Like, come on. It's Matt Tara. It's funny. There's so many dummies out there.

This is a part of the problem in this world. It's hard to get your shit together. So many people just stumbled through life, just never getting their shit together. I saw her my friend last night. She has, like, a cooking show on YouTube. She goes, I have to stop doing it, Joey. Because my mother would watch, and these people would say, like, the weirdest, like, you know, everything is show me your tits, show me your pussy. You can't cook.

bitch. And you're like, you know, how much long am I going to take this shit for? People are so horrible. They're fucking horrible on the internet. You know, she's a young girl, looking good. She's like, Joey, I had to cancel the fucking thing. She was doing like a workout, a cooking thing. She goes,

now I just play with my cats. That's it. People love cats. She goes, that's it. But it's impossible. There's so many animals out there. And they're out there and they don't give a fuck and they say shit. It's also the zero consequences for saying horrible shit. And they're trying to get a rise out of the other people in the comments, too.

So they're trying to say outrageous shit so that other people react to it, so that you'll read it, you'll react to it. It's the dumbest fucking thing ever. It is. I was thinking this last night. It's kind of a crazy thought, but, you know, everyone is addicted right now to social media and addicted to going online and just addicted to content. You're constantly getting content. You're constantly interacting with your phone. And this is a very new thing, right? It's within the last 20. 20 years this has happened to people. This is like prepping us for what's coming next.

We're going to look back on these days and we're going to realize, oh, the addictions to the phones, the addictions that staring at the screens and checking your email and looking at YouTube and looking at Instagram and look at Twitter, that's just preparing you for you being completely connected to electronics forever. This is like the early stages of it. I was thinking about it last night while I was watching this television show. I'm watching this crazy show. It's called From.

Have you seen this show? No, no. It's nuts. By the guys who made Lost, one of the dudes that's in Lost is the main star of it. It's a fucking great show. Like, a really good show. Like, very unpredictable, twisted, just like Lost, like Crazy Show. About these people stuck in this town that can't get out.

It's impossible to get out. But I was thinking while I was watching us, I was like, why is everyone? Because no one has a phone there, and everyone's just locked into this place. I was like, your phone is. You're preparing you. The addiction to our phones are preparing us to the next stage of what life is going to be like as a person. This is just the gate. The phones are the gate. But what's coming next? You're going to reminisce about the days of the phone. Oh, you remember when we had phones? We had to look things up. You had a little thing. You got to charge it. Remember when you had to charge it? That's how we're going to be.

We're moving into some weird new area. They're building these fucking data centers everywhere. And everyone's like, oh, the data center. What great? Like, what is that? What are you doing? Why are you building these things that need to be powered by nuclear reactors? Why are you building these things that are sucking up all the fucking water? Why are they putting these things out in the middle of the desert?

Biggest fucking five football fields, huge fucking giant buildings filled with computers. Like, what the fuck are we doing? And the gates is this goddamn phone. This phone is the gate. We're opening up the door to us being. I'm going to tell you why. My daughter can't watch a whole movie. They have no attention span.

40 minutes in, she has to leave, and then she'll start it from the next day. I had to watch Scarface. You had her watch Scarface? Yeah, because we watch, we do experimental at the house. We did the fight club. We do all that shit. So she said, Dad, I always only watch the part

when he shoots the brother-in-law. You know, that's the only part of it. It's always on when I come down. I go, I want to watch from the beginning. She enjoyed it for a little while. I went upstairs. After one scene, I'm like, I can't watch this again. She goes, I'll stay up.

Two days later, her mother goes, did you see the review she wrote on it? And I go, no. She goes, take a look at it. And she's like, I enjoyed the movie. I was a fan because it was Cuban-American. But then as the movie rolled on, I figured these Cubans don't know how to treat women.

He goes, They were smacking them and shooting. All you do is, stand around. Wait on for me, you. Fuck you. She didn't fucking like that at all. She's like, I know my dad's Cuban, but Jesus Christ, they're so mean to their women. I'm like, do I act like that?

She goes, no, but that movie. That's the cocaine days, the 1980s. Yeah, she said, she goes, that gave men a different fucking thing. I go, Mercy, I was 40 fucking years ago. Not only that, you're dealing with the people that were the criminals of Cuba that were kicked out of Cuba. that made their way to America. Like, this is not normal people. No, no.

And now they're about to let the second half out. What are they doing to Cuba right now? Well, they're not surviving. They don't have any power. No gasoline. It's funny because every couple days, I get an algorithm we're just promoting Cuban videos. Cuban videos, people in Cuba.

They had kids going to work out. Joe. They took them to the kids. like this little place, everything had papers on it. They did pull-ups, sit-ups with the head, the pipes were broken. You got to see these fucking kids doing full workouts. We wouldn't even look at their body weight workouts, you know?

They go around Varadero and they interview people, and I don't know what this is doing. I don't know what this is doing, because we're two years away from Cuba being legit. We're going to go back down there. After this whole thing goes, or Raoul, whatever, whatever they decide, they can't get fuel from Venezuela. How long is it going to take?

I mean, they're not going to be happy until they have a Starbucks in Cuba. So what happened was they were getting their oil from Venezuela, right? We took over Venezuela, we cut off their oil. Cut them off. And so what is the United States trying to do with Cuba right now? They're trying to get rid of the communist government? They're trying to, well, they're going to charge Raul Castro with something recently. That's the beginning.

This is going to end up like Noriega. You're going to wake up one day and on ABC News. There they are in Cuba, pulling people out. But doesn't China and Russia have a relationship with Cuba? Is that a problem? Not really, because they're not paying their bills. That's why Cuba's starving. When they had Russia, Russia was fucking doing everything.

But then they didn't need them no more and they cut them off. I think they do small trades for sugar or something. It is kind of crazy for the United States to have an enemy that's 90 minutes offshore in a boat. Trump administration said on 2026, May 20, indicted former Cuban president Raul Castro for murder based on the downing of two planes near the Cuban coastline in 1996. It killed four people. As a historian of Latin American and U.S. foreign policy, I believe the indictment may be the prelude to a direct U.S. military action against Cuba. This is the beginning. This is Kevin A. Young from UMass, Amherst. Before Castro,

the last U.S. indictment of a Latin American leader occurred in January of 2026. That's the Venezuela thing. Since January, U.S. has ended the flow of Venezuelan oil to Cuba and has economic and military pressure to prevent other nations for trading with the island. Trump recently threatened a friendly takeover of Cuba. I believe what's missing from most recent analysis of this situation is the history of U.S. aggression against Cuba is essential context for understanding the Trump administration's recent escalations. Yeah, once they indict you, they're calling for you. It's just a matter of time. And they're just starving the country.

We walk up, yeah. And then they'll come up with a solution. Here's your solution. You need to put a new leadership. They're not telling you there's a shooting of two in Cuba every night. Cuba's not getting. There's no power. There's no electricity.

They have roaring, what do you call it? And that was yesterday. Yeah. Biggest one in 150 years. Yeah. So they're just fucking, they're doing everything they can. Is that that? James was the biggest one in over 150 years.

Oh, my God. Yeah. So everything is looking like right now that's it. They can survive this. Fuck. So what happens to those people? They just wait this out or the United States and so they get no resources, no supplies?

You got two things in Cuba. You have people that don't know. You never watch that 30 for 30 with El Duque when they won the championship. And they said people in New York were throwing toilet paper and the wife was grabbing it saying in Cuba, this is gold. Why are you throwing away toilet paper?

We have no toilet paper in Cuba. That's the mentality. So 50% of those people have been brainwashed to the, where they, you know, every day there's a bullhorn. Buenos dejas, patiotas, you know, when the communists, whatever they call each other. Yeah, comrades.

We're winning the war. We're getting close. You know, what do you mean I'm getting closer? I'm down to 118. I was walking around a 170. Yeah. How are we getting closer to a victory? So they're getting sick of that shit.

They say the bugs that land on you at night are fucking just atrocious. You know, they have real fucking bugs on that island. Not to mention, they all have syphilis. Cubans have syph-fif. I think half my fungi toenail is syphilis, because it smells like it, you know what I'm saying? But on the fucking not-joki thing,

Cuba's got two weeks left, two weeks from today. And so you think they're going to invade? Yeah, they're going to invade, take Raul out, and then what do you got? You're going to install some new... I remember a couple months ago, there was a shooting in Cuba of a boat.

You remember that, right? No. Some people were out there fishing and the Cuban Navy shot them. Like three months ago? Oh, yeah. Why they shoot? I don't know.

They were investigating it. Cuba hands out weapons to citizens and tell them prepare for an invasion. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. That's June 7. That's Sunday. Sunday.

Holy. So yeah, we saw it. Distributing weapons to its citizens in fear of a U.S. invasion. The reportedly started handing out weapons to civilians as the government urges population to prepare for a potential U.S. invasion. Reports from South American publication version final stated against the backdrop of the deployment of American military power near the island, the government of Havana began distributing weapons to citizens officially urging them to

prepare for an imminent foreign invasion. What if the citizens use that weapon to take over the country? Which they should do. That's what they fucking should do. Just call the fucking cool. risk. Start handing out guns to people. Like I said, man. All of a sudden your population is armed and you're telling them what to do. And they don't have any money and you don't have any money either.

Look, man, when I started doing okay, I contacted my sister. I offered a free ticket out of Cuba. Money. Whatever I got half is yours. You're my blood. You know? Right. I don't know if I can do that. Okay.

Why don't we do this? When don't I fly you to Jersey? You go to your mother's grave. You go see where her house was, her way of life, and then I take you back. She told me I can never do that because I'm married to one of Fidel's guys. I don't even want to go to the United States. Oh, geez.

So she was so brainwling. And after that, she was still my sister, but I couldn't help her. Well, you're used to what you're used to. Yeah, and that's what it was. Taking a big chance of coming to America and not knowing where you're going to eat and how you're going to live

and where you're going to get money? Are you going to have a green card? They got programs. those people. They got churches. Cuban people have churches. They're Catholics. Is there also a thing where if you leave Cuba, I think it's a cleaner path

to get to become a United States citizen if you're fleeing? Yes. It's easier. I think so. Something like that. You're fleeing a violent dictatorship. For a community. Fuck, dude. It's just like what are they going to do about that?

And then you got to, we're talking about Vegas. What's going to happen in Vegas if Cuba reopens? What do you mean? They're going to put gambling back there. You know the Americans are going to put gambling back there. They're negotiating already with Habbers. Already they're talking. Turn into a resort, a location.

They're not going to rip down the architecture. That are on bridging architecture that makes Cuba and the cars and shit. But also something else, and I know America knows this. Those oceans are booby-trap. Up to a mile out of Cuba, there's a ton of shit that they're. have booby trap mines all that shit they planted those during the bay of pigs invasion look at this cuba in 1957 back when the mob ran it look at everybody dressed impeccably they would go there flip-flops no nothing they loved it back then they loved going to cuba people would go there live it up

and sex was free and cheap and you could fuck a chicken those days you'd get fucked in the ass by a guy Must have been amazing. Dog, it was unreal. That's why the whole point of Kennedy and all that was for them to get Cuba back, the Italians. They were making too much money out of Cuba. And now they were going to start to put drugs in there and shit towards when they took it down.

Cuba's been fucking riddled with bullshit for years. Every bad luck that they have, they created in the 50s and 40s because it was a sex heaven. Americans would go down there on a Friday and not come back and, you know, whatever cost here, $1,000 will cost you $80 to get your dick suck for three days and fed,

people rubbing your feet and shit. Castro Revolution had a major effect on Las Vegas. Look at that, closure of Savannah Casinos spurred Exodus to the desert. Wow. Frank Mears' father. Especially people in the... Who? Frank Mears' father.

What do you mean Frank Mears' father? Frank Mears' father was a casino, so that's how he ended up in Vegas. Oh. Oh, I thought he said... Frank Meera's name is Miranda. No, so Frank Mears' father was a casino dealer in Cuba. When Cuba closed down, he went right to Vegas. So a lot of those people weren't right to Vegas.

Wow. Really interesting shit there. That is interesting. It makes sense because those are the two places. And if you're on the East Coast, the trip to Cuba is easy. It's like going to Florida. 30 minutes. It was what you and your wife would do on a weekend.

How far is the flight from New York City to Florida is what, an hour? Three hours? Yeah, because Trump is down there now, so they go a different way now. No, really? go straight to Fort Lauderdale over Miami. You've got to go outside that range. What did it used to be? Two.

Two. Two. It used to be two hours. So New York City to Cuba is only an extra half hour. That's it. So like less than three hours. Three hours, you'll be on the aisle. So it's basically the same as Vegas then.

Yeah. It's the middle. It's the middle. But you have the, you're on an island. It's a resort. Nobody knows what's going on. It's beautiful. You know, I told you that.

My mother would tell me how. All those Hollywood stars would hide in Cuba, especially Rock Hudson. That's when they would suck dick on the weekends. Oh, Rock Hudson, that makes sense. So all those Hollywood people would go to Cuba, locked themselves in. There was no TMZ, there was no press. Right. You know, these people in Cuba don't have a new, you know, how are they going to get the pay?

And everything's run by the mob, so it's like just all sin and vice. Whenever you got a minute, you read that of Van Nucturn. That book, what is it called? It's a Van Nucturn. It's a Revolution from 3. different places. Union City, New Jersey, New York City, and Miami. And how, no, no, not my New York City, Tampa.

And how those three cities were, like, involved in that whole. What do you think is going to happen to Cuba? If you had a guess. If I had a guess, come on, I'm already seeing dollar songs. If you're a casino right now with how bad casinos are doing here, you're looking at that right there. How many nocturn. how the mob owned Cuba and then lost it to the revolution.

Yeah, excellent book, excellent. And so that was Kennedy trying to get rid of the mob? That's why they helped Fidel. Listen, Kennedy's father went to Chicago, and he talked to those people. They had the pool. If you live in Chicago or where else, you win the primary. I don't know how it works, Joe. I'm not a political guy.

Well, they definitely helped Kennedy get into office. Right, they helped Kennedy get into office. But then when he got into office. He didn't help him get Fidel back. And the brother double-timed them, and then they started shooting. I don't know who shot Kennedy's. I'm just saying this. Well, the mob definitely didn't like him.

They were very upset. They cut into that pocket. And the mob helped them get into office in the first place. And then once he got in, they started prosecuting people. And like, hey. Then he fucked them with the Bay of Pigs when he pulled off air support at the last minute. He didn't know that they were going to do this. And then when they told him about it, he denied air.

air support. And air support was critical to the success of the mission. Absolutely. And Operation Mungoos, Robert Kennedy spearheaded his secret government project to topple the Cuban communist regime working parallel to the CIA's mob-assisted efforts. But this is after the revolution, right? This was when Fidel was running Cuba. Right. Right.

They were trying everything they do to kill fucking Fidel. They were doing everything to CIA. So this is after, so what spurred the Cuban takeover of, the military's taken over of Cuba? My bosses like Sam Jean-Cana and Santo Traficante recruited to help eliminate Castro using methods like poison pills. Mafia wanted Castro gone so they could reopen their multi-million dollar Cuban operations. Wow. That's all it was. It was money.

Wow. Big money. Untraceable. Untraceable. Nothing, no nothing. And you're over there living the life. Nobody knows nothing. Myelansky, eating fucking Cuban food every day.

They probably had it all set up. It was nice. And then the revolution came. Cotia Cuban food every day, fucking Maya Lanski. So what did the people think? The people think that these mob motherfuckers, they've taken over our country, let's let Castro come in and will be socialist and everything will be great? Or did they just get taken over? They got taken.

What happened was Castro went in there. Batista was horrible. Batista was fucking no better than Castro. So when Castro took over, it was to take old Batista and make Cuba, blah, blah, blah. But in the conglomeration, he became a communist somewhere along the line. And then when he took over Cuba,

that's when he shut the casinos down. He destroyed the fucking casinos, you know. And then the Italians got mad. They all came back. And then they were just, they thought it was going to be temporary. Like, this is going to be temporary. We'll clean over this.

So for years, Italians were just watching the news waiting for somebody to kill fucking Castro. It was the Italians. And then when they thought that the United States was going to go in there and invade, like, oh, good, we're all set. I wish there was more film from those days so people could see, like, my mother explained things to me. I wish she was still alive because like that.

Like, she said that Italian food was different in Cuba. She goes, first of all, the pizzas had lobster on them and shrimp already back then in the 50s. Wow. They were making, because she didn't like the pizza in the United States. She goes, not the same. They put fresh shrimp from the fucking ocean, lobster, fucking all these other things. They got these pies now in New York.

I'm scared to try them. I can't. They put calamari on the pizza. How fat can you get? How fucking fat do you want to be? You go to these pizza place in Jersey dog. It's like Zidi, a pound of Ziti on a slice of pizza. There's pizza places in Jersey that are just going off.

And the sandwich places in Jersey? Oh, your boy's going off. Oh, Giovanni, but that's White Plains. That's so. That's phenomenal. There's nothing like Italian delis on the East Coast. There's nothing like that. That smell like that cheese when you walk in and the fucking olives and shit.

Oh, it's insane. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. It's insane. There's too much pizza, like just too much. You know, it's funny. When I moved down, I'm like, I'm scared of gain weight, the pizza. I eat one slice a week.

Maybe. Maybe. Since I had the knee surgery, I've been doing a podcast at the house. So I've been ordering pizza from this one place, and my buddies go crazy. That's the best pizza we've had. It's thin, sweet red sauce. Oh, yeah. Extra cheese, you burn it.

It's fucking thin. Oh, my God. And the sweet red sauce, God. They know how to make pizza on the East Coast. And they try out here. They do a pretty good job out here. They try. It's just not the same.

It's missing something. Same as the sandwiches. There's some good Italian sandwiches out here. pretty good, but they can't fuck with like Giovanni's place. Joevani sent me two shipments that were... He's the best.

I had to give him half of it away. I'm like, Jim, me. It sends you so much. Fucking salamis and fucking dry sauce. The cheese. The cheese is incredible, right? Oh, and the cookies. Oh, and the fucking cookies. Oh, they'll fuck you up with those cookies.

Yeah. You know, and that's everywhere. Like, I just stop fucking around. Well, when I go to the East Coast, I just assume they're being terrible. We got to take you to this place. Which place? You took me to Il Nito. That was phenomenal.

El Nito now is Covo Steakhouse. Whatever. It's a steakhouse now? Yeah. Is it great? They fucked me up a couple weeks ago. I went in there five to nine. I've been there three weeks in a row with a big party, and then my wife once and then a friend once.

I go in there when they're five to nine. Like, let me get a 14 ounce with a fucking beer, and they're like, we're closed. There ain't nobody in here. You can't make another steak? No, we're closed. Not even nine. No reason to go back. That's a bummer.

That's people want to go home. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. It's a stake. You guys, there's nobody in here. Right. The bar is cute in there. Nobody's ever in there. They got a male bartender.

They got a blonde with big tits. You see this place pack the fuck up. You got a little Spanish guy that's a great guy. But I go to this place now. They had on the special three weeks ago. You ready? Stuff shells. with lobster meat.

Ooh. Out of the cart inside. Oh. And it gives you five of them in the tray. Oh, Joe. What's this place called? Hostoria. Where's it at?

Marlboro. This is my spot. Yeah? I go there because the dude will do whatever I ask him to do. Like, he has a menu, but then he'll go, Joe, have you tasted my Italian fried rice? You're like, what are you talking about Italian fried rice? And he makes risotto with lobster and shrimp of fried rice. Oh, ha, ha.

So he's going to add it. He's got a new restaurant opening. So he lets me sample everything. He makes a cheese steak to die for, bread with the seeds on it. Oh, yeah. Simulina bread? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Osteria. There it is. Oh, that looks good. Yeah, there's nothing like East Coast Italian food. Nothing even compares. No, Steve and Angelo in there? Bro.

They don't fuck around. All right. Let's wrap this bitch up. Bro, thank you for having me. My pleasure. I love you. When are you leaving town? Thursday.

I'm around all week. All right. But I'm in Atlantic City, 7th and 8th at Oceans Casino, White People Casino. July, 7th and 8th. No, August. August, 7th and 8th. Okay. Chicago got announced.

November 5th. What's the website for people to go to find out details? I got no fucking website. You know a website? Joey Diaz.com. Is that real? I don't know anymore. All right.

Well, they'll find you. They'll find you. So one more time. Where's the casino? Oceans, Casino. You know, in Atlantic City, New Jersey, the seventh and eighth. Tremendous. Beautiful.

I think the governor's coming. The governor? Yeah, Mikey Cheryl. I don't even like it, but I do like Mikey Cheryl. I do like Mikey Cheryl because she's a Democrat. You're not supposed to like it, but it's funny. I went to a restaurant. Some guys like, hey, man, life would have been so much better with Jack Chirrelle.

I go, I know, but he lost by 400,000 fucking boats. He tried to a Republican in Jersey. That's never going to fucking work. They've been Democrats since Jesus showed up. So 400,000 votes, bro. That's a lot. I'd be in my house with the windows fucking, like Sunny Black and Donnie Brasco with the windows, the shade drawn for a year.

400,000 fucking votes. You see that podcast I did with Joe Pistone? Yes, very good. He was very good on him. He was amazing. He's a good dude, too. He's a good white fucking savage. What a crazy life.

The real Donnie Brascoe. I mean, really fucking lived like that. And he infiltrated the bananas. Yeah. Deep. They never recovered from them. They even loved it. After he fucking came out and they found out he was a cop, they're like, oh, you were better than me.

That's like one other guys said that to him. Hey, you won. You beat me. Wow. Nuts. All right. I love you, brother. I love you too.

Thank you very much. We're going to have fun tonight. Bye, everybody.