The Joe Rogan Experience - #2539 - Protect Our Parks 17

Episode Date: August 13, 2026

Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are comedians, writers, and podcasters.Shane Gillis is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast," creator and star of Netflix's comedy series "Tires," and one half of the sketch comedy duo Gilly and Keeves. Season three of "Tires" is streaming now.www.netflix.com/title/81758875www.youtube.com/@MSsecretpodwww.youtube.com/@GillyandKeeveswww.mssecretpodcast.comwww.shanemgillis.comMark Normand is the co-host of the "Tuesdays with Stories!" and "We Might Be Drunk" podcasts. His latest special, "None Too Pleased," is streaming on Netflix.www.netflix.com/title/82155387www.youtube.com/@TuesdayswithStorieswww.youtube.com/@WeMightBeDrunkPodwww.youtube.com/@marknormandwww.marknormandcomedy.comAri Shaffir is the host of the "You Be Trippin'" podcast. His seven-episode live storytelling series, "The End," is available now from YMH Studios.https://theend.ymhstudios.comwww.youtube.com/@youbetrippinpodwww.youtube.com/@arishaffirwww.arishaffir.com Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/rogan or through my promo code ROGAN. Get 30% off + 2 free gifts at https://ARMRA.com/rogan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Yes, yes. Boys, cheers. Let's go. What is that? Boil soda? Hold on, I need to drink. What are you doing?

Hold on. Hold on. Have you a bodega or a bar. Why do you have water? Because I didn't know we're about to start. Where in hell? Yeah, has you got beers in there? You changed. I got you.

I'm ready. Let me start with a beer and get moving here. I just got off a flight. Thank you. Bo Digger Kett. Cheers. Hey, Grosci. What is that?

What is this? Group beer? No, a voodoo ranger IPA. Oh, my God. Can you give me that ice cube? That glass? Yeah. Thanks.

Thank you. You're not into IPAs? No, no. If you're having one or two IPAs. I used to be, then I gained like 45 pounds in like a month. It's a milkshake. It was a milkshake. I was drinking them like Bud Lice.

I'd get done with this show. I'd have fucking 10 IPAs. They taste great, but they're heavy as shit. Oh, Guinness is the heaviest, right? I love a good guine. You can only have a few of those. They're less calories. Yeah?

Guinness is lower calories in it. No shit. Yeah. Yeah. Surprising. That's crazy. I would have never guessed. Yeah.

No, they rule. Second only to butt life. I would have thought it was like super. Hey. I would have thought all the super creaminess and everything that it has to be like heavy in calories. No, no. No. It's all vitamins.

So a Budweiser versus a Guinness. Bud's way fatter. Wow. Oh, yeah, it's all wheat. Crazy. Hey, guys, let's leave the Anheuser-Busch family out of this. Oh, sorry. It's a fine product.

We've been through it enough, boys. They've been through it enough. Mulvady, we've missed you. So a Miller versus a... Yeah, yeah, yeah, fucking Miller. Isn't it crazy? This works. It actually does.

It does. It does. It does work? It does work. How long you have to do it for? I think that was enough. Look at that. He threw me a beer.

That's incredible. I wonder how the fuck that works. And who discovered it? Some serious drunk. Little kids opening fucking soaps. Yeah. Do everything we can. Back with they didn't have phones, they figured out a lot of things.

So you're off the nicotine. I think it might start. Yeah. If you got a pouch. You got one on you? Yeah. You're going to buzz out there. I've never done a pouch.

You're going to buzz. It'll light you up, dude. I don't mind a buzz. It's going to light you up. What are we doing here? I think I'm going to stop because last night I couldn't get to sleep. Because I was sitting in the green room and I just kept fucking chewing on them. and then I chewed on one on the way home

and then I got home and I turned on the TV for a little bit popped another one in each one of them is six milligrams it's just bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang and then it was time to go to bed I was laying in bed and I'm like oh fuck yeah I'm wired Norman you've never had one no and it burns

yeah you're gonna hate that I don't know I've bought last time I got bad gums you're gonna shit oh really shit it's gonna get your brains you're gonna get nervous hiccups yeah oh no the nine

Those, like, nines really give you... What are nine? What's that mean? Nine milligrams? Nine milligrams? These are six. All right, all right, all right. But was nice? A six is a lot. I like, Norman, you do this a lot

where you'll be like, I'll do it. As soon as you do it, you go, oh, fuck. Huge mistake. Like that time, you accidentally ate MET. Oh, yeah. The green, whatever. We took Molly.

Molly was wonderful. Oh, that was a bad night. I had to take the bus home. You didn't have to do that. You panicked. I'd have to get out of there, but I took a bolt bus back to New York. Bus on Molly.

On Molly. But we both took it. He was like, I'll do it if you do it. I was like, I'll do it. We both took Molly and then instantly he was like, why'd we do that? Fuck. Yeah. Well, Big Jay wouldn't stop talking.

I had to get out of there. Oh, no. It's too much. Is it Philadelphia? You took a bolt bus back from Philly? Yeah. Chinatown bus from... Wow.

On Molly, you can't run around. Why did you take a bus back? We were poor. It's convenient. It was right there was late too. It was like a dollar. Yeah. It's downtown to downtown too.

It's pretty quick. Yeah. You just got to watch one beheading at the shit next to you. It's going to fuck you up. It goes quick to keep it in. Don't spit it out. I'm like Jason Statham and crank. Is that an Alp?

No, it's in. Zane. Six is a lot. Woo. I'm wired. You're going to die. Let's go, in words. I'm cooking.

I'm giving it up. I'm going to try at least. Because yesterday in the podcast I had a bunch. And then at night I had a bunch. And I was like, this is too much naked tain. She tries sleeping pills. That's what I do. Fuck that.

You've got to stop at 7 or 8. I don't always can sleep. That's the thing. I never have a problem sleeping. I had to sleep on a pile of rocks. You do espresso before bed. Yeah, I have no problem with that. It's just the nicotine gets me.

It's just too much. There's so much. Like, I've read something you should only have like three milligrams or six milligrams a day. And I was like, what? Oh, there's fucking pussy. I was popping them before workouts. Popping them while I'm shooting my bow.

Norman's getting nervous. He said, maybe I'm starting. You want to do it too heavy. You can take it out. Don't take it out. Don't take it out. My legs are tingling. Boothed.

My toes must be twitching. Yeah, you're going to start sneezing. All right. How about that WNBA? Hickups. How about it? That dude who wants to qualify for the WMBA. What's his name?

Cantor. Yeah, he just did trigonometry. Oh, geez. Freedom. Yeah. Hilarious. He's getting into podcasting. Yeah, of course.

Smart move. Look, it's a great. Great move for him. Look, they've painted themselves into the most loony position where they can't define what a woman is. I like when he went after LeBron. What do you say? And he's like, hey, you're always stopping about human rights. Then you're like saying NBA should go to China?

Right. What's, come on. You had a good one a while ago about, I think, the leader of Turkey. Turkey. What's his name? Mergevan? No. Osterion.

Constantinople. That was like his first controversy. Yeah, that's when he was like, his family had to disown him. Yeah, you can't come back to Turkey. So he's like a troll. No, no, no, no. Back then he, that was like, rebel. Oh.

It was a bad ass. That was a good one. Okay. This thing that he's doing where he's pretending that he's a woman is very smart. Like, in this day and age, we almost need someone that's a public figure to do something like that to show everyone how ridiculous it is. That some psychopath can just pretend that they're a woman and knock women over on the court. I got to take this out. Norman's a fucking woman, dude.

There's What? My belly There's some country Where there is Oh, it's France Where there's a transgender woman On the team just dominates

It's a giant dude Ripped Just dominating these chicks And that ticket sales are up I thought they're not No one's talked about Definitely Within the last two weeks

What's that? No one's talked about this league More than the last two weeks WNBA found it That's true Because nobody cared about the league At all Forever

This is the guy Yo Like that's fucking preposterous. Just literally preposterous. She's on the B League? I don't know. I don't think she's in the pros.

No, she plays for France. French National? Wouldn't turn down an offer to play in the NBA or WMBA. That's all of course. Hilarious. Why would you want to go where the money sucks? I'd go for 75 grand a year. It's a weird thing.

It's quite really hard. I've got a horrible paycheck. They actually got it upped. Who's the biggest baller in the WMBA? Like, who makes the most? I don't know who makes the most. Clark's got those endorsements. Asia Wilson.

She's the best player. Asia Wilson's the best player? And the girl with the glasses with the poofy hair? She's very good. Boston? I don't know. If you said her name, I know. She's really good.

What is, like, top player? I'm sure their salaries suck. Yeah, it's all endorsements. It's endorsements. Yeah. So, Katelyn Clark, it's probably the highest paid. So the more controversy there is, the more people do come to see them.

So do you think they allow them to file more now? Yeah, they went with... That's what I was about to say. Nobody watched the league forever. It hemorrhaged money forever. And then they got racial... Racial division. They go, ooh, there's money here.

And now we got the transgender thing. Well, the transgender thing's not real yet. There's not a real transgender person in the WNBA. But there's definitely some fucking roller derby shit going down. They're throwing those bitches on their heads. I like it. I like it. It's 80s basketball.

It's Larry Berg got knocked out and punching somebody. I'm like, bring that back. A whole league of Bill Ambers. Bring that back. Stephen A. Smith had a real good point when he was talking. about the comparison between Michael Jordan, you know, like the athletes of today versus, and one of the things that he was talking about was the physicalness of the game. Oh, the hands off on the stars sucks. Yeah.

They would, and you watch some highlights, like, showing what it was like, like, Jesus, they threw down. They fucking went to war. When they retired Bill Ambert's number, they instructed the ushers to cheap shot everyone as they're showing their seats. Out of respect. That's awesome. Yeah, those guys fought. Yeah. It got ridiculous.

Now the WNBA's doing the same thing. The best was Oakley. They were like break up a fight and the foul line. He was just like, hey, they won't let's meet me outside though. After this is meet outside and let's actually do it. The crazy thing about the WNBA, imagine if the NBA had the same sexual dynamic. Imagine if the most of the team was a bunch of gay dudes who were very aggressive and black. Oh.

You know what I'm saying? Do you know what I'm saying? Imagine if you reverse that. The WNBA was just a bunch of straight people playing basketball, no controversy. Sex isn't even a thought in the NBA. No one thinks about gay players in the NBA. In the WNBA is a ton of like out-lesbians. It's mostly gay.

It's all lesbian. Mostly gay. Yeah. Mostly big black gay ladies and a few scared-looking Sophie Cunningham so they have to point fingers of people. You're surrounded. But black people think you're, you know, like perhaps sexually attractive. And the heteros that come in, the rest of them go like, I'm going to turn you. They try to turn their heteroes?

They're like conquest, for sure. But they've made it into a reality show. It's become like real housewives. They're all just fighting now. Right. That's the only reason you watch. But it is an interesting sexual dynamic. Of course.

Because imagine if it was like that in the NBA. But this happened with the women's much. Big giant homos. Just big giant seven-foot-tall gay guys. All right, break it up. Trying to fuck. I said, break it up. Wild.

Partying, going everywhere and fucking wearing leather and shit. Are they dating? Do that. Are they dating each other? Very gay. NBA, yeah. Oh, yeah. What's going on?

Crazy outfits. Black stylish is a board like a gay. Fashion show when they walk into the locker room, they all wear the craziest fucking outfits. Really? Derby hats. Yeah. Wait a minute.

What? Oh, yeah. But that's a black culture. This is just fashionable. Larry talked about this. That's black culture. Oh, I love those shoes. The shoes and the mask.

The mask and the shoes are crazy. You don't see Larry Bird wearing that? What is, okay, what's going on? Or Stockton. This is crazy. That's true. That guy's going to step on a stair wrong. What is that, Clay?

Whoa. Wait a minute, they really dress like this? Yes. Every game? Is this a big thing? Did they get, like, sponsors for their clothing on top of it? Like a setup thing. Matt Gala every day?

So you see them walking through the hall? That's the deal? Pull up Magic Johnson's son, if you can. Oh, geez. He's not a player. He's not about a wacky outfit. Or Dwayne Wade. Love to a hot star fella.

Well, just to head and fucking go. We're back. Look at that. I mean, that's like a rapper. This was not the kind of gay that I was talking about. Look, Draymond on the cat. I stumbled upon an Instagram page called Cum Corps. What?

What the fuck? It's a family show here. It's hardcore music for gay guys. So it's gay guys. in like little like nipple leather straps and jock straps and motorcycle hots. Yeah. You know, bare-chested hairy. And they're doing hardcore music.

And they're just talking about sucking dicks and getting cum. Oh, boy. So that's the kind of gay I was talking about. This is just fashionable. Yeah. That would be the type of gay you would be if you were gay. You'd be a shirt-off gay. Yeah.

I bet I'd get bored. I'd get bored with it. I'd probably settle down with some twink. No way. You have to fight. you'd be You'd go out for cigarettes To come back a lot

You'd be wrestling The thing about Like those gay guys That don't have kids All they want to do is fuck Yeah They just fuck all the time Why not?

You don't have any kids No one can get pregnant They just fuck all the time Sure I know a guy The comedy store Good looking guy And his boyfriend was like

Can you just He would cheat all the time He was like Can you just not give me AIDS Oh man And then our friend He goes I can't promise that

That's so ridiculous A's doesn't even scare anybody anymore. What's worse? AIDS are pregnant. That's the question. Well, a guy gets pregnant. You're like, well, you've been lied to. You've been fucking a fake guy.

True. Yeah. But you've got prep now. Prep is big. But the thing about trans men, like, they can't get pregnant anymore. It's one of the side effects. One of the side effects of taking all the testosterone, it makes them infertile. Also, trans women.

At least potentially. No period. Which I think is an advantage. All these other girls have to worry about a... Yeah, be a mean for a week. Exactly. And they fight. There's no trans period.

Right, but it's male. That's an advantage, I'm saying. On top of that, you're dosing yourself up with estrogen. So, like, are you doing it once a week? Is there a spike in your estrogen that is a dip down? Do you get, you know, do you have balanced it out between masculine and feminine? Jamie, depending on your injections? I see the trash.

It is, it is what? That means you've been thinking about this, and I apologize. for leaving cans. It's fine. I leave cans. Every time I leave, you're right. I didn't even think about it until I noticed you put a trash can here. Don't sweat it, big dog.

But they've painted themselves in a corner because if they don't let the guy in, it looks bad. Right. But if they do, he's going to dunk. Well, the thing is, can you define what a woman is? And until you can't, if you can't define what a woman is, then you're an idiot. And this is nonsense. And that's what your ideology is. Your ideology is so stupid.

You can't define the difference between a male and a female. And so you've decided that people identifying with something means it's a real thing. And you have to say it because everybody else says it. And they scare you and they'll cancel you and go after you. So everyone's agreed to nonsense. So this is where we painted ourselves into this dumb-ass fucking corner. I think everybody kind of agrees. It's like a great area.

Even AOC was just talking about how woke 1.0 was crazy. And all the different things that she was saying, all the defund the police talk that was going on, that everybody realize that's a ridiculous thing to say. I think both sides on sports are like, eh, that's a stupid issue. We shouldn't. No, we're not going to die on that. But they won't say it.

Democrats are like, we're taking that off the table. What do you mean? They're like, yeah, I think it's like 80% of Democrats don't think. Oh, trans women's sports, yeah. So it's just the right dunking on the left because they're like, yeah, but there's a thing where those people that are the most radical will come after you if you don't agree wholeheartedly with their nonsense. So if you say anything like, you know, look,

Trans women aren't women. There are men who identify as women, which is fine. But there's a biological distinction that protects women in sports. And that's chromosomes. We know. X, X, X, chromosome, you're a woman, X, Y, you're a dude. Do it that way. Call yourself whatever the fuck you want.

But if you want to play in the WNBA, you have to have X, X, and if you want to be a fucking, well, look, that's the other thing. No one gives a shit if a trans man wants to try and play in the NBA. Here's something you're talking. No one's trying to stop that. Wait until someone in WMBA comes out as a man. That's the rumor. There is a rumor, solid one. I'm not going to say who, but do they wipe their name off the record books?

Maybe that's why they're holding off. They probably should. They should. Well, if you look at Caitlin Jenner. Yeah, he actually got those stats as a player. If you were like, I was a man the whole time, you'd be like, oh, yeah. Caitlin Jenner won the Olympics as Bruce. But what happens if you go back to the Olympics in 1970s?

Who won the Olympics? Wipe it. Does it say Bruce? Or does it say Caitlin? Who's on the Wheaties? I think Bruce won it. Right. But what is it said?

I don't know. That's dead naming. And that can get you killed. I bet Bruce was like... Dead naming can get you... It used to get you banned from Twitter for life. Yeah. Wow.

That's not bad. That's a good place to be, actually. You shouldn't be on that. Those people are probably doing great right now. A lot better. Psychologically. They'll probably have added years onto their lives. It's like banning you from heroin.

It's like, that's probably it for the best. Not even that, because heroin's fun, I bet. I bet heroin's fun. Twitter's never fun. Twitter's never fun. I was hoping when Musk bought it, he would just, like, bury it. Well, it's more fun. It's more fun with him.

It's wilder. It's wilder. It's like full-on, wow, wow, west. They figure out of things. Yeah. They're doing something now where when people get paid, you can only get paid for original or accurate content. Because there's people that were, what they were doing was just saying, like, Shane Gillis murders six in a bar.

And you make a story. Six, I heard five. You make a story and you post it and everybody clicks on it and you get money just from a full-on, made-up story. And there was a ton of those because these foreign companies would just make thousands of fucking fake accounts and then maybe millions and then make a bunch of fake stories. So there's fake stories flooding your timeline and you're like, what? and you look at it, 600,000 views, this must be real. And then you click on it too. So they're making money off.

Maybe it's a good thing, though, now that all the news is fake. Yeah. Fight Night is here with two title shots on the line. Draft Kings is your home to get in on all the MMA action this weekend. The Draft King Sports app is now available in all 50 states, bringing the game straight to your fingertips wherever you are. From New York to San Antonio to L.A., You're in on the excitement at the speed of sports.

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Limited time offer. Maybe we can stop giving a fuck about the news all the time. It'd be nice. It'd be nice that's not. I see any article. I don't know if that's real. This is probably fake. I would have no way of knowing.

Let's just go outside. Speaking of which, what are your people doing in Argentina? Did your people light Argentina on fire and now they're trying to steal it? That's what I heard. What? English? Oh, that's your new people? He's a red guy.

He's a red coat. Los Malvinos on Argentinos. I side with Argentina You got to pick a side. I don't know who you are anymore. So they started to fire. I'm not going to be anti-Semitic. It's not even anti-Semitic.

It's talking about policy. But We do love illegal campfires. Yeah, they lit it on fire. Who did? They're giving 100,000 hectares. Well, some Israelis lit

this part of Patagonia on fire. and then they're giving a hundred... That's Chilean Patagonia or Argentina? Argentina. Oh, that's... I believe it's Patagonia. I might be wrong. But the point is they lit

a gigantic amount of forest on fire. And now... With the weather? When I was there, when I was there... Miele is giving Israel that land. What do you mean? What? Find the story. Find the story.

Yeah, but a goog. When I was there, I was lighting campfires, you know? And as you work your way down, at some point, like, no campfires in the National Park. And then you would just start lighting them. And then they go, you know, this whole place burned like seven years ago to the ground because the campgrounds? I was like, nope.

Well, the thing about campfires, are you just giving any retard the ability just light fires in the woods? Do you know how crazy that is? It's so rare. Throw a bush in. They're shouldn't be way more forest fires. Put the bench in there. Would you really think about how stupid people are?

There should be probably a lot more forest fires than there are. Yeah. What about Malibu? Was that planned? That was a, that was arson. Really? Yeah, the guy's in jail. They caught him.

Trying to get back to a girlfriend or something? That's straight up arson. I don't know. He's a fucking psychopath. He's in jail. He's in jail. He was inspired by Luigi. Really?

To do something. He's inspired by Luigi to light the palisades on fire. He was looking all the rich houses, right, and going, those people. There was a lot of people that were lighting things on fire. While the chaos was happening, people were just out there lighting things on fire. Huber been caught people on video. Really? Yeah, it caught some guys in Malibu on video lighting things on fire.

They had gasoline, they had fucking lighters, they had torches. People were just running around lighting parts that contributing to it. The question is, is that orchestrated? No, you've empowered a bunch of fucking mentally ill people to camp on your streets. When things go sideways and they burn it all to the ground, that hurts them zero, and it's fun. That's what I'm talking about with the parks. Yeah. Get rid of the bumps.

We should have some frisbee's. Okay, no one has been publicly identified or proven to a star of the recent Patagonia fires in Argentina. Investigators in Chubat have said at least one blaze appeared to be deliberately set, but the investigation has not established a named perpetrator. Claims blaming, I don't know what that word is. Mapuche communities or Israeli visitors are unsubstantiated. Chubot? Chabot, chief prosecutor said, rejected the Mapuche's indigenous tribe. And reporting saying prosecutors did not consider the claims against Israelis a credible lead.

Okay, but now, here's the question. Did they really just give that land to Israel? Did they give 100 hectares or whatever that is? That's fake? They throw Israel and everything. Everything leads back to Israel. Is it all fake? I mean, everything I look up online says it's...

So this is, if it is fake, this is a perfect... example what we're talking about. It's a perfect example where they create these stories. Yeah. And, you know, there's probably something to this. What is that? There's stuff on the Twitter that says it. Okay, what does it say on Twitter?

I mean, I don't know that it's accurate or what these accounts are, you know. Right. What does it say, though? From Shadow Intel X. Yeah, so I don't know. Definitely true. Definitely real. Yeah.

But let's, so. So here it is. Look at this guy. Is that a bot? Dr. Sam Yusef, Ph.D. Ph.D., DPT. 760,000 followers. It might be real.

What does it say? Argentina exposes Israel takeover plan and the government is in on it. Argentina and presidential spokesmen just blew the lid on the secret. What does it say, though? Clickon's show more. Protected rural, conservative land

can now be sold to foreign private entities once a fire passes through it. So this is the problem. What I was reading in this story was someone lit... It can be sold once a fire. has passed through it so what they do they lit it on fire it's legit well once you have emojis it knows you care I like that Argentina copied our White House press

conference room though that's pretty cool that's cool we were there that's pretty yeah we were in there doing press conferences me and Shane and O'Connor yeah it was pretty nice is in a fucking track show the White House press conference yeah we didn't know we were gonna go so we were just we were walking around DC and then just one of Shane CIA friends was like do you want to come in yeah yeah they're like POTUS isn't here he's in Tennessee at a fucking UFC event. Yeah, so they were like,

he's in Florida. No snipers are here. So we're like, oh, sick. Potus. They were like, POTUS isn't here. He said, Florida at UFC. So that was the Miami UFC? That's my guy.

That's my president, y'all. He's not working. He's at UFC. How wild was the UFC at the Whitehouse? Yeah, that was wild. That was insane, right? That was like fun. I'm so glad I talked to you to doing that.

Yeah, me too. You had to go. You were wrestling. I'm like, this is only going to happen one time in human history. I was like, I shouldn't fucking go to this. You were wrestling with it. There was motorcycles going over the pool. That's what got me.

I was laying on my couch after I canceled. I said yes and canceled like four times. And then the last time I canceled was the day before. And then I saw there doing fucking dirt bikes on the front lawn. And I was like, I should see this. I should. He was like, what should I do? I don't think I should.

I don't want the heat. I'm like, yeah, don't go. But I don't want to tell him, let me do what to do. I'm like, no, no, don't go. Everyone agreed with me. Which side you were? Yeah, I see. I was at the seller and I was like I don't feel like fucking dealing with it.

Also, war and I ran or this is a crazy time to be like, I support this. Everyone had a great time, but Nate. Nate was, Nate was my favorite. Well, not later. Yeah, but he doesn't care. He's not reading it. That was a fake one too. It didn't affect his ticket sales at all.

All these people saying that they canceled, fuck off. He sells out two fucking stadiums a night. That was a fake one. It was the same newspaper writing 10 articles. Yeah. Well, it's just they. They'll go after anybody who's even remotely connected to that White House. Also, it's the fucking fights.

It's just sports. It's just fights. It's not saying shit. The fights were great. I was so happy to see that Gaichi fight. Gage is the best. It was one of the coolest fights. The perfect ending.

And he beat a guy who most people thought was the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. Really? Yeah. Deportia is a monster. Two-division world champion. DePore is one of the most skillful guys that's ever fought in MMA. He's fucking good, man. Oh, yeah.

But Gachie pulled it off. pulled it off in front of the whole world and then did a backflip off the fucking top of the cage with the White House behind him. Nice. And landed in the middle of the cage. Yeah, I saw the dirt bikes. I saw all the practice flyovers. I was like, I got to see these fucking flyovers.

Yeah, I just was... It was so sick. When we were talking, I'm like, this is never going to happen again in human history. Well, apparently Teddy Roosevelt had fights on the lawn. Really? Back in the day. Oh, they've had... No, they fought with his wife.

Well, unless you got a time machine, bitch. You're ever going to see it again. It's funny seeing people weigh in. They're like, it's cage fighting. And it's like, it's human. in cockfighting. I'm like, bro, it's not a new sport. You're like these left-ling people are just discovering. So Biden did some wild things in the White House lawn.

What do you do? They have Easter egg hunts. They had fun things. Well, you remember they had the trannies with their titties out? Something like that. That's also fun. They had a bunch of trans ladies with their tits out. Really? Yeah, what's really funny, they took pictures, like for Instagram with their tits out in front of the White House. And then people are saying that the cage fight is desecrating the lawn.

Like, come on, guys. Dude, if you have a lot that big... Both things are ridiculous. You should have barbecues. But at least one thing is cool to look at. One thing is fun. And the other one's the UFC. Those both seem fun.

I was trying. Yeah, I was trying. He sat up the dunk. Those all seem like a fun time. You should have fun with that lawn. Fighter jets ruled. The fights ruled. Brought the fighter jets were so close to each other.

That's what freaked me out. I was like of one of these... Did you hear about the terrorist attack? Yeah. Yeah. That was crazy. I did Bennington's podcast the next day, and he told me. about it. Oh yeah. And I was like oh yeah it was elaborate they had a guy pushing

people towards one way and then another people would John's right they had drones bombs on drones that uh I don't think that crowd would have gone the direction whoever right would want them to right that crowd would have been sprinting directly at whoever yeah that's true it's the craziest group of people yeah would have stomped that dude to death my section that I was sitting in was like ten Medal of Honor winners oh god it was waiting for that They were like, please let there be a sniper, dude. They would have UFC fighters and soldiers.

Would you see there were snipers all over the roof? Did you notice that? Yeah. Yeah. There were snipers all over the rooftop. There was guys everywhere. It was so heavily protected. It was crazy.

Because I was like, I don't want to do this. I was really like, I don't want to be a part of this. This is going to be too much of a zoo. Too crazy. I don't like it for the fighters. You have to fight outside. What if it rains? What if it's too hot?

What if it's this? What if it's that? Yeah, fight outside. So part of me was like, but then I was like, shut up. You sent me that video. when you were like practicing yeah like when you guys were doing like a walk the day before he sent me he was like come on bitch don't be a pussy and I was like fuck he's right on being a fucking pussy fuck it's just it's never gonna happen again

it was so insane me and DC and John Anick were just looking at each other going what the fuck is this this is insane we're on the lawn of the White House but TMZ tried to get you it got me got it was fucking 20 beers deep what'd you think about saying Michelle Obama's man I was like I didn't fucking like I like it. And then I was like, but he's funny. All right. The funny thing is people are saying.

Joe Rogan didn't say anything when he said that I'm like, the guy just beat the fuck out of Derek Lewis. What am I going to hear? I'm scared. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? Hey, don't do that and they throws me? The problem with it was on paper.

Hilarious. To win a fight on the White House lawn and then call a former First Lady a man. If you wrote that down, I'd be like, that's funny. The thing is, but he says Michelle Obama is a man every time. I interview him. Really? Yes. He said it the last time I interviewed him too.

When I'm sitting there, when I'm sitting in that crowd going, this is probably a bad look. This is a weird group of people. And then the guy wins and goes, I was in the crowd. I was in the crowd. I was in the crowd. I don't get him. You're doing exactly what they said we were going to do. He did a smart thing.

I mean, it's very rude. It's very rude, but it's a smart thing because we're all still talking about it. Otherwise, it's just another fight in the night. We're talking about the Holocaust, too. No, Diego Lopez was a man Diego Lopez knocked out

Steve Garcia. No one's talking about Diego Lopez and Steve Garcia in the regular news. They're talking about this guy all day long. The next time he shows up at a UFC event,

the crowd is going to go fucking bananas. And if he wins, he's a superstar and he probably doubled his income by saying Michelle Obama's a man. Yeah, but... That's what this WNBA player is.

He's a fucking pro-Ressling heel. Of course. I know it just validates It's everything the hares. I literally, as soon as he said, I was like, you. All right, Michelle Obama should play in the WNBA. They still can't define a woman. They all need to come on board.

This is all, everyone's ridiculous. The last time I went to one of these fights was so much labor with Rogan. We went to a fight on the lawn of, do you remember this? Which one? The fucking. Oh, the Playboy Man? It was so bad. People didn't know what they were doing.

Wait, what? That was this old fucking man. I think that was whaddling out. Was it Strike Force? I think it was even worse. Remember the company. You want to do the Playboy Mansion for a fight? Yeah, yeah.

Wow. I'm pretty sure it was Strike Force. This old magazine mogul limps out in front of us, like five fights in and sits down with these hookers. You know what's weird is how... No. No, no.

I guess he wouldn't be left there. Playboy. What's weird is how dated the place was. What was it? Strike Force. Strike Force. What was weird was how dated the mansion is. It's like, there's an old button phone on the grotto.

Well, he was old as shit. Not just old. Everything's just sad. John Love is still there. Everything's in the past. Cosby was there all day. Everything is like, you know, obviously it's all gone now. Did somebody buy it?

Imagine we bought the mansion and started doing podcasts out of the plane. Wait, are we there? Look at that picture. Go back up. I think we're right near him behind him. Perhaps. There you are. Are you on the right?

What a weird. Imagine he died at the right time. Better than. That guy died at the right time. Half? Because if he was alive today, oh, my God, they'd come for him. Imagine what the Me Too would have been like for half. That's a documentary about him.

It's pretty rough. Yeah. What a good bit about him. Is the mansion for sale? Find out if the Playboy Mansion is for sale. I think the Sun took, well, at least the business. The Sun took over the business. But they saw of the mansion?

Is the magazine even going? Why would? It's like if you go to some movie star's fucking house, then they were a movie star in like the 80s. You go to their house, they're in Malibu, and you show up, and their hair's all over. fucked up and they're kind of drunk. Okay, come on inside.

What's wrong with that? Lenolium floor with like holes in it and shit. What's wrong with this? I bet Seagal's house is hilarious. Me and Norma, we went to fucking Elvis's house. Oh, that was awesome. It was cutting edge. It was like four TV. You can watch every channel.

100 million. Fuck you. I think we're out. That's a little high. Sale, original listing price was 200 million. God. Do you get the whores? I mean, this is a lot of lamb.

The guy who makes cupcakes bought it? Hostess? A hostess guy? I bet he's just running around licking the floor. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh. Get all that cream film.

Get all that cream and snail trail off the floor. It's just, you know. But that area where he's at, like, that amount of land might be worth $100 million dollars. That's like Brentwood, right? And it's a big chunk of land. Take us in shuttles up there. Yeah, you remember when he had, he had like a big aviary, and there was all these birds in there and shit? Do you remember that?

I don't remember that one. We were walking around. Because we were hired. We were high. We were high as far. We took some edibles. Only you go to the Playboy Mansion, like, let's see these cranes. Cool birds, man.

There was cool birds. Five acres. Five acres in that area is worth a lot of money. Twelve bedrooms, 21 bathrooms. Was there a party in the mansion after the fucks? I don't remember. We got out of here. We were nobody's back then.

We got a shuttle. No, we didn't see any tits. No, we just saw the fights. We just went to watch the fights. We went to eat edibles and watch the fights. Joe Rogan was like, he was once on a show news radio. Yeah. I think that was the Fear Factor days.

Maybe early. I think it was like year one or two of Fear Factor. It was early on, man. It was early. Because this was before, like, Ultimate Fighter. My bad on that. What? She'd be like, did you stay and look at tits?

You're like, no, we left right away. Yeah, my bad fellas. They're a bitch-ass girlfriend question. But there was no, we actually got out of there right away. See, it was really like they rented the place out. We never stayed for the end of the parties. I know. I agree.

It's like they rented the place out as like a location. You know, like where you could fucking have your conference there. That's what it felt like. They sold it off the name, little by little. Yeah. It was very professional. Yeah. All good.

Fellas. Above board. We can move on. No grotto? Nothing? I mean, I'd have to look around. Those are the days where we used to have to go to Englewood to get our weed. We used to go to, and we used to have to go to get it medical because there was no, it wasn't legal unless you had a medical license.

So you'd have to go to the Englewood. And the place that I went to, I had to stop going there because the guy got shot. He got robbed. Because they only could get, you only buy a cash. You couldn't deposit your money because they were like, that's drug money. They shot the doctor? They shot a dude working there. A dude I knew.

I was for sale, he was still alive and you had to allow him to stay. Oh, that's hilarious. You have to live with an old man? However, the sale comes with one catch. Anyone who wants to live like Hugh Hefner will have to live with him. Whoa. That's crazy. Sales predicated the new owner allowing the 89-year-old Playboy publisher,

and we assume his various playmates to stay in the house. So you could buy that. house but he gets to stay in it. What a buddy cop show that would be. Hanging out. What a weird place you are? Some Bitcoin billionaire and Hugh? What a weird place you are in your life where you're like, I don't have much time left?

I'm going to die in this house, but I don't have any money. That's not so bad. I have this big ass house. But if I sell the house, then I got to move. Maybe I can try to sell the house and stay in it and they know I'm going to die in it. And then they take it. It's a tough deal. You got to watch a guy die, the horniest guy of all time, die while you're

While you have a 21-bedroomed. You would just send Dirty whores to go fuck him to death. Did he have the pump? I know Larry Flint on the dick pump. Larry Lemp got shot. He got shot? Paralyzed, yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, you got shot. Damn. Yeah, that's why he's in a wheelchair. Come shot. Is he still alive? Nice. Is he still alive?

Flint, Michigan. Yeah, he's got to be dead. He's got to be dead. Got to be an awesome guest. Oh. Oh, yeah. No, he passed away in 2021. Shit.

I thought he was still rolling. Dave. We're having a punchout. That was okay. Yeah, we missed the bone on that guy, too. Fuck. Yeah, that would have been a good one. That would have been a good one.

It was a good one. Yeah, it was. It was. Corny Love is good. Yeah. Norm was in that. Really? Yeah.

Look at that fed honky. What a beast? How do you get shot? With a gun. Yeah. I remember this. So he was like a big. Proponent of like free speech. Yeah, it was a big free speech guy. Yeah, what was the I don't remember what the assassination attempt was about

See if you can find it crazy about the magazine. They had racist jokes galore. Oh, so racist. It was crazy It was the highlight. Well, they were weren't just racially like they were like the sex those like very harsh Yeah, it was like harsh. Yeah, way worse than Playboy. Oh yeah, way better than playboy. Aggressively bad. So what was the what was the shooting about yeah go to get off of images and go to all

sometimes you can just find it that way white supremacist oh white supremacist murder who shot Larry Flint is executed they killed him in 2013 what white supremacist

why would he shoot him the racist jokes he's got a lot of problems he's white supremacist he's racist maybe you put up black chicks in the movie in the magazine uh that'll do it

that'll do it that'll do it so so so uh Abba, bah, bah, bah, bah. Abundity charges. Fighting a misdemeanor, obscenity charge.

Local attorney, Gene Reeves, was also shot on the sidewalk as both men walked back to, my fucking pop-ups. To court. When you see a pop-up like that, doesn't it make you not want to buy whatever that shit is forever? Yeah. Like, fuck you. Everybody just want to block the whole page. Yeah. Like, you make me press that X, you savage.

Fuck you. Ooh, this nicotine is a bad idea. Terrible, right? I'm like, uncomfortable. That's me last night at two in the morning. This sucks. I can't relax. They're so strong.

You're running out. Maybe the booze will help, but I'm flying, and I can't, I got, like, beautiful mind numbers over my head here. He do. You got rid of your shitty watch. What happened? Hey, I got the Omega. Nice. Look at that, fatty.

It was free. Well, thank God. You got rid of that dumb-ass fucking chimer. It died. Finally broke. Oh, really? I was going to kill it when you weren't looking. You didn't throw it out, did you?

No, I got it. I know you kept it. It's a coughing as well. Yeah. I know you can't. I got it. I love that watch. It's a little Timex tin.

I think it took nine years. I would have been actually sad if you threw it out. Yeah, yeah. You got to put that on a wall. Would you get that watch? I did a, I did some show in Cleveland. There's a guy named Teddy, and he has a watch show. And if you do the show, you get a watch.

That's better than the fucking free bat, you get. Yeah. Teddy Baltasari? Yeah, the guy on YouTube. Yeah, Bert did it. Tom did it. Yeah. He's really good.

He's good. Any watch you want. So I went with Omega. That's cool. Nice. Beautiful watch. Can I get this wet or no? Oh, yeah, 100%.

All right? Yeah, definitely. No doubt about it. Okay. Which model is that? Is that a chronograph? Speedmaster. That's what I have.

I just got this one for my birthday. Hey, look at that. Can you get me beer? My wife got me this one. Nice. I love for it. Omeas. It's a great.

Joe. Joe. Oh, man. That's quick. Yeah, Omega's are my favorite. That's a fun watch. You got to empty your bladder. It's the best thing I own.

This watch. Omega's and I like Secos. I really like Ciccos. Japanese, right? They never fuck up. They last forever. You could fucking run them through the mud. They got the courts.

They never mess up. No, no, they're all, it's all automatic. American serial killer and white supremacist who murdered 16 people between 78 and 1980, either admitted to or was convicted of shooting 22 people across 10 U.S. states. Whoa! Which he drifted between while likely supporting himself with money from bank robberies. Whoa. That's got to be a movie by that guy.

What a wild motherfucker. He's shooting interracial couples. Imagine you're trapped in a motel with that guy. Yikes. Hey, hey, what's up, man? I'll tell you what's up. Just you and him in a room. You're waiting on somebody to come pick you up.

So how do you know, Charles? Hmm. I don't. I don't. Help. Yeah, the nudie magazine industry is all over. Yeah, it's over. We got OnlyFans, free porn.

Well, you know what I hear something funny? When I was a kid, they weren't allowed to show erections. That's a good rule I like that That's for the fellas Yeah That's for the fellas I don't know what they thought

Because you could see full pussy Like a girl could spread her pussy lips Like that was the thing about hustler Versus Pennhouse Penhouse or or Playboy rather Playboy was classy Yeah Playboys the ladies

You'd see the bush But that's it You didn't look deep into the mouth of the dragon But in hustler They were spreading that motherfucker Open And they would spray it down with water get it all glistening.

And you'd see the bottom of her dirty toes. Like, that was hustler. Looks like the predator mouth. Yeah. They opened wide. But you couldn't see cock. And if you did see cock, it had to be limp. Really?

Yeah, yeah. When I was a kid, we used to find magazines in the woods. And the first magazine that we ever found was guys and girl. I remember it was like a guy who was supposedly a male prostitute that had sex with a really hot, rich lady. And so he shows up at her house. Like, there's all these different photos. It shows up at her house.

Next thing you know, she's on the bathroom sink and he's eating her box and the whole thing. And then when there's sex scenes, his dick looks like a drowning victim they pulled out of a lake. His dick is just like, and I'm like, this guy's right there. He's like, why aren't you hard? This is crazy. It was almost like to keep people from getting too crazy about porn. Because you have to think like. Incremental steps.

Porn wasn't available unless you went to a place. used to have to go to a movie theater and sit down and pay money and sit down with a fucking raincoat on with a bunch of other freaks. Sit next to Peewey Herman. You all getting arrested. And Fred Woodard.

So then when I was in high school... He got popped in there. VHS tapes came along. But at the same time where VHS tapes were you watching actual porn, the magazine still weren't allowed to show erections. Well, erection is aggressive.

It's scary. It's coming out of the screen. But a pussy is nice. It's welcoming. It's inward. It doesn't change shape. I don't know why they couldn't, I don't know what rationale to keep people from seeing erections. It's kind of crazy.

Limp biscuit. But you can get in trouble if a guy had an erection and you put it in a magazine. It's crazy. Really? This is in the 80s. Yeah. They're like, we got to do something. Here's some rule.

But it just shows you how retarded our society was just a few decades ago. That's what's really weird. Never listened to Lenny Bruce? What did he get arrested for? Oh, yeah. It's so tame. So tame. Really?

Yeah. He's like a bunch of knuckleheads up. they are. Get them off. Get them off. They're fucking cops waiting just for him to say anything. Well, they had obscenity laws

regarding words. Like if you said, fuck, you can go to jail. Wow. Yeah. Okay, so that's in the 60s. So Nate would never get arrested.

I'm in the 80s and you couldn't show boners. You know, that was what I'm talking about in high school. You couldn't show boners in magazines. Good. Yeah. That's what we're talking about. Bring it back.

Why do you want boners so bad? You want Sharia law. That's what you want. Get rid of the bones. Also, the magazines are coming back, dude, with these... For real? Every one of these conservative states, you can't fucking jack off on the internet. I know, right?

Even VPNs won't work sometimes. What are you talking about? It's the new Mason-Dixon line. You go right on north. You're back. Same thing in London. I've heard. I've never tried to get online up there.

If you've got the right kind, you're fine. VPNs work great. I know, but it's this weird north-south divide. It's dumb. It's stupid. Well, it's also they've done the THC thing. Here's what Texas doesn't understand. You will fuck this place up, and you will.

turn the whole thing blue. They will, kids will turn on you. If you tell them they can't smoke weed, they know weeds not killing anybody. Which one's blue? This place. No. Oh, what's blue? Um, Democrat. Oh. Red is his Republican. Shut up. Come on. How do you not? Shut up. Who one's donkey? He's pretending. He lives in England now. Which one's, he's like Alex Bald one's wife. Oh, I don't know. How you say cucumber? Cucumbar. Shut. All right. That's been gone, lad. You haven't been gone. Thank God.

You could be drinking tea soon, mate. You never went in it? Alec Baldwin's wife was pretending she was Spanish. That was you right there. Oh, yeah. You were pretending you don't know. Hilaria. Hucon Gumb bear?

Like, lady. What? And then people she went to college was like, that bitch speaks English. She must be so fun. It's like your boy mom, Donnie. Well, she's super hot. He hit the old fucking code switch.

Oh, he did. Oh, he was a switch up? What was it? It's just him. Code switching like crazy. An old one? Yeah. Yeah.

He's good at it. He can go full Indian. Of course, a sociopath. They had this guy running in Ecuador who was running for the indigenous party, and he was like, they showed him five years earlier, he's wearing a business suit, and now he's got like a ponytail and fucking all the shit. What was his coat switch? Switching to Ugandan accent. Donnie's Ugandan?

All right, let's hear it. Let's hear it. You're going to love it. As a music supervisor for Queen of Katwe. And as we know, music is almost a lustre. that brings the picture together. It tells the story. It's the tie-in of the whole story.

How was that for you? I mean, being anywhere involved with the music will be a don't-in task. But to be a supervisor at that, it must have been a mammoth task. So I actually created a playlist for Mira, who also happens to be my mother. You know, nepotism and hard work goes a long way.

So in February, made a playlist even before shooting of a kind of a sound that the film could have. What are we listening for? We can find better ones, but you never hear him speak? I never have heard him. He doesn't sound anything like that. He hit the old fucking. I was like, I don't know.

That's the first time I heard of speak. So the real question is, what's his real accent? Wait, that? Oh, so that's not, he's American? No, no, he's from Ghana. No, but now he's full. But now he speaks completely clear American. I did the right thing.

The right thing. Yeah. Lose your accent. You should know of those people in England since you live over there now? Bro, I'm trying to learn. Tell him, hey, hey, hey, you don't have to talk like this. You don't sing like this. I made five people to their faces.

Yeah. As they're like, we'll have to do this. You sound so fucking stupid. I used to have a bit about it. The Beatles, they don't sing like that. Nobody sings like that. Cindy Lauper turned up. Like, people from like Manchester or Liverpool, like, I don't know what you're saying.

Yeah. Sometimes I'm interviewing like Patty Pimblit. I don't know all these words. Kyle Legacy. to like watch his lips. Bro, his fact was insane. Those were the greatest submissions I've ever seen in my life. It might be the greatest submission of all time.

And he did it to that guy, Ben Wausan-Denie, who's a submission expert. Catch him in that guillotine on the first shot, and he called it. He said, he's going to shoot for a takedown, and I'm going to choke him unconscious? When he comes out to, where's your head at? Yeah. Yeah. So wonderful. He has so much fun.

The crazy thing with that dude is, on the walk to the, the cage looks like he's having a party. It's all dancing and party. The moment he gets in that cage, the flip, the switch gets flipped, and then he's just stone-faced. And he's no more playing around, very serious. It's like he just enjoys himself up into the moment where he has to lock in, and then he locks in.

It's like sometimes I worry about a guy getting too relaxed and too confident. With that dude, it's like he's got a perfect balance. Party, the whole crowd is doing this. Everybody's doing this, the whole fucking crowd. But when he gets into the octagon, he dances a little bit for everybody, and then he just locks in. It's amazing to watch. He flips a switch later when he gains 60 pounds, too.

Oh, he gains a switzerland. I also respect the hell of it. In the offseason? I love it. He transitions. Who was that? James Hardin. Who was the British boxer?

Lennox Lewis? That fought Mayweather and Pacquiao. Ricky Hatton. Hatton would fucking blow up, too. Yeah, he would get big. Look at these guys. All wearing wigs? It looks like Hansen.

It's great. Yeah, they all wear Patty the Badiwigs. I'm how many blonde wigs? This guy sold. I'll tell you, man, if this dude gets a hold of your neck, everybody's fucked. Everybody's fucked if he gets a hold of you. Let me show, just show him, coming out dancing. As soon as people see him, they go crazy.

Hadswell roll is so sick. As soon as the audience sees him, they go fucking. bananas, everybody starts throwing their arms in the air. Wow. I turned around and looked behind me when I was calling the firetale. Fucking everybody had their arms going. It was amazing. It was amazing. He's probably the most fun right now. 100%.

He's the most fun. He's the new Connor. He's the most fun. Yeah, but it's different. He's like a sweet guy. Yeah, he's fun. He's like fun. He's like fun. Yeah. Him and Tuporia. Him and Teporia fucking hate each other. So that would, that's a really interesting fight. But let me tell you something, man.

he's big, like deceptively big. Like he's deceptively big. When you're standing next to him, he's a big guy. Taporia is not nearly as big as Patty. Patty's huge. He's a big guy. Really?

Yeah, he gets fat in between, but I mean, when you look, he's fucking big. How tall is he? At least 5-11. And thick. That's the thing is about his back. Like when he got a hold of Benwasandini,

he catches him in that dars choke, and then you see the back muscles on that motherfucker, and then he wraps his legs over the top. top, but he's rolling through the whole thing. Like, he's got a squeeze, man. He's big. Look at this. This move was so slick.

You have to understand, like, this had never been done in the UFC before. At all the submissions, it's a dars choke with legs over the top. It's almost like you're in full guard. And he's using the right foot. You see what he's doing his right for? He's flexing forward. He's holding his arm in place. And then his left foot is pressing down in the back.

And then he's got the full d'clock. Garst grip, like a rear naked choke-style grip on the choke with the arm tucked in. So he's got his legs involved. He's got his back involved, his arms, everything. It's insane. He can't get his left arm out of there because the leg. He ain't going nowhere. He's out. He's fucked. And he tries to roll because Ben Wasson's on the knees is like very legit. So he tries to roll out of it. And Patty just rolls with him and then winds up on top with just insane pressure man and just put him to sleep. But no one's ever done that submission. So it's a combination of like a Peruvia deck tie, a dars, and maybe a couple other things.

What's his right lead to do? So people are calling it the padlock now. Hey, I like it. Another kid just pulled it off recently in another MMA fight. Pulled off the exact same mood, the exact same way, which is really fun. So people see someone do something. They go, oh, I didn't think about it that way. Because generally when you catch someone in a dars choke, what you do is you try to hook the leg.

and you're basically like sinking the choke in deep and you're hooking the leg. But what he did was when around the top and got over his back and then just rolled with him and it's like, oh my God, the pressure's insane. Boof. It's hell.

I got broke out of it. Is this like when I watched some guys getting choked and I'm looking for way out? I look for like, where's a way out? Where's a way to defend? I'm like, there ain't no way out of this. This is death. This episode is brought to you by Armra.

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What's he doing with his right leg to his left arm? Well, his right leg is hooking the bicep. He's hooking it right where the bicep meets the crook of the elbow. So he can't. So he's not able to get that arm back. So it's like locked in place like here. So he can't defend. What he wants to do is sneak it under and try to separate the lock.

So now this arm's out of the equation. So you're only defending, you're defending one leg and two arms that are wrapped around your neck with one hand. With only one hand. Because he's using his right foot to lock a hold of that elbow crook. It's fucking sick. And pulling it back? As a guy who loves jujitsu, that's the sickest shit I've ever seen in my life. They should teach that to cops.

Cops would be good to know that. You know, you just. What are you? Cops that move? Yeah, you wouldn't shoot people. What are you talking about? to shoot people. He could just lock them up. You're going to put him in a padlock?

Yeah, get him in a padlock. I just shoot him. All right. That's faster. And we get the body cam footage. Cops should definitely know jujit. That's what he looks like where he's getting squished. Holy shit.

Look at that rump. You're not saying that is, like he's got one arm that really can't even engage. See, his arm can't even grab a hold of where it's gripped. Oh, that poor guy. He can't reach it. And then his other hand is where he wraps a hold of it with his foot. So he locks up with his right foot underneath the crook of the elbow on the left arm. and the other arm's useless.

So he's just going night night. Bad tie. That's a good name. Imagine ripping a fart right then. Yeah, they call it either the pad lock or the pad tie. That's what people are calling it. I love them both. Both good.

He should name it. He should name it. He did. That's what he put up. Oh, he called the pad tie? That's great. There it goes. Oh, beautiful.

Okay, so that's what it is now. So it's the pad tie. Remember the Jew cloth? Oh, yeah. Juke claw? You take the money? Yeah. Is it a pickpocket?

What's the Jew cloth? Eddie Bravo name. Eddie Bravo had it. I forget how it goes. I forget that move. How does it work? Do you remember? No, but I was there and he was like, what's we?

Oh, let's call it. Oh, all right, Jew Klo. I'll allow it. He's always getting ridiculous things. He was like, no, we'll change it. Where's a superhero ever? Just a guy missing arm. I had to do commentary for the UFC once,

and one of the guys that was fighting was one of Eddie's students. And he was doing something called crackhead control. So it was like on Fox and I had to explain this is called crackhead control This is good for cups What is this? Sweep from the Claw sweep from the Jew claw? You're afraid to say Jew?

I mean it's not a Jew that's misspelled it's clear No it's J-I-U no that's that's literally how it's spelled Are there any Jewish fighters? Oh yeah definitely There's a tonne is it done he had a good sleeper wait in the UFC in the UFC I'm not saying where my ears get hot in these fuck guys oh okay who's a Jewish

fighter I'll say that AC I don't know well Motie Horanstein was 75 everything came close motie Horanstein was a I think he was an Israeli special forces guy and he was a Krav Maga guy and he was in the very maybe maybe Kilkishin he was in the early

UFC's he fought Don Fry and got beat up he fought a few few big guys and got beat up What about Tiger Shulman? Maybe he didn't fight Donald Frike. Tiger Shulman? Tiger Shulman is a coach, and he runs a bunch of elite MMA gems. He sells a lot.

He parlayed it. He was probably a good fighter. Well, they know what they're doing, for sure. They've developed a bunch of elite fighters. Like Shane Burgos came out of there. A bunch of guys, like top-level guys came out of Tiger Shulman's. Oh, he was Maga? Huh?

Oh, Krob Maga. the original maga I don't remember what Moti Hornstein's style was But this is the back in the day Mo T. Hornstein Hey, come up Oh shit That's crazy

He was an Israeli guy He fought in the early UFC He was good He was good He put me in a humble He was good But he was a little too small And he was also not a wrestler

And he got fucked over by these wrestlers They just beat the shit out of him. So who... There he is. There he is. Okay, so this is 2026. So he's doing like a seminar. Oh, okay.

See if you can find, like, footage of him from the early days of the UFC. Benny, the jet looks like a fucking vampire. Yeah, Benny needs to shave that guy's time. Benny would fuck you up. Benny was a guest. He was a guest in the day. Really? Yeah.

When I first moved to L.A. in 94, that was one of the first places I went to. There was two mecas that were in L.A. One of them was a comedy story. That was the big one. The other one for me. was the jet center. That was his place.

Wow. This is the smashing machine version. Oh, yeah, that's who it was. It was Mark Kerr, and he got destroyed. I would not want to fight the smashing machine. So this is Moti. So he was good, but he was a karate guy. And like, there ain't no way you're going to be dealing with Mark Kerr.

He's huge. It was an immediate shot. Not only that. Are you wearing a ghee? There's so much to grab a hold of. It's so easy to control you. If fighters fought in a ghee in the UFC, the fights would be completely different. Ow.

And Mark just beat the fuck out of him. Oh, God, you hold me down too much. Stop it, please. Get off. Also, Mark admittedly was on all the steroids. Hell yeah. He was on some stuff that you could only get in Mexico. Didn't need him for this part.

He didn't need them. He didn't need them. Should have saved us steroids. Oh, man. But this is like UFC probably 10? Okay, 14. UFC 14. Oh, I was there for this.

But this is back in when I was working. Key Willickers. You're working for free? Yeah, no, I got paid back then. Nice. I didn't work for free until the new UFC, because they were hemaging money. So they tricked me into working. They tricked me into doing one event.

I did one event when they did the best, remember best damn sports show period? Yeah. Yeah. So they had a best damn sport show period UFC. So they had to make it UFC 37 and a half. I think it was 37, 32 and a half? Was it Tom Arnold? He was on it.

Tom Arnold was on it. Brody did the warm up. Yep. It was a couple of the dudes on it. And so they did that, and they did that for Fox. And Dana and I were friends. And Dana was like, just do me a solid. We would you just do commentary on this one show just because it's going to be on Fox.

It'd be big. Fear Factor guy does it. I'm like, okay, I'll do one. And I did one. And then the next thing, you know, you want to do another one? I'm like, oh, got me. He got me. And the next thing, no, I did him like 15 of them for free.

They gave me a nice Rolex, though. They used to do celebrity boxing. Remember that? Oh, yeah. That was fun. They should bring that back. Screege? Yeah, we'll do.

There's always a bunch of people that are broke. Tanya Harding. Yes. Tanya Harding was a, she could fight. How about what we did it on the Man Show? Tanya Harding fought Doug Stanhope. That's awesome. Really?

Who wants to kill him? Doug kind of held back a little bit. Doug was being a good guy. Todd did not have her fucking rods. Doug's got a great ego. He doesn't need to win. He just wanted to make it entertaining. It was pretty funny, though,

watching Doug smoking cigarettes in between rounds. Oh, I've never seen this. It's such a small ring. Ah, look at the little. Is that his mom? The ring was fucking tiny. It was ridiculous. Poor, poor Doug.

He had a few beers. Look how young he looks. God, that's crazy. He's taking a haul of a cigarette. His mom was alive. That's great. That was fun. Now, who won?

I don't remember. The fans won. There you go. Everybody lost, including America. Those celebrity boxing matches sometimes are sad. The dude died recently, Aaron... Hernandez. Is that his name?

The guy with the tattoos on his face. He had one against the basketball player. He used to fuck the Kardashian girl. Yeah, Lamar Odom. Mar Odom probably killed him. Uh-huh. Yeah. A crazy choice.

Uh-huh. It should have done crackhead control. That's ridiculous. It'd be like me fighting at 13 years. fighting a 13-year-old. He's so ridiculous. He's like six, ten. He's so big, and that kid couldn't fight at all.

The whole thing was crazy. Like, he must have just been so desperate for money or something. You know, I don't know. Something's sad. You ever see dirty work? Sure. When the kid from different strokes comes in and tries to fight, like, Dredor Tate him. Like, how's this?

What's the joke? Oh, Todd? Gary Coleman? Yeah. Was it Gary Coleman? It makes up. He just gets wallop. Do you remember when Gary Coleman?

was working as a security guard and people would just show up just to make fun of them. No. Oh, yeah. People are so evil. Because there's one thing if you're just a four foot tall security guard. That's one thing. But if you're a four foot tall security guard who used to be a TV star. Massly famous.

Then people feel like people, when you've crashed, when you've made it to great heights, then you've crashed, there's people that revel in that. They love it. They love watching. Look at the size difference. No. How crazy is that? Not only that... He's six foot, okay.

He's six foot, okay. He's six foot, a hundred pounds. Respect for going in the ring, though. No, he's on drugs. Ah. He's got to be out of his fucking mind. Yeah, he's on the eldest of it. That's very... That is crazy.

That is crazy. That is crazy. The weight difference is literally insane. That's literally insane. The weight difference is like fucking 80 pounds. And he's giant. It's terrible. Don't watch that.

Mark could have been on crack. That's what I'm saying. Might have made it worse. That would have had control. I'll fight anybody if I was on crap He got to round two? Well, I don't think they're like one minute rounds I mean, even then

Chuck Liddell Oh, Chuck Liddell's like, what are you guys? Oh, Jim. It didn't even get a hit it. It's just a beating. If he was a kind soul, he would have just punched him to the body, just liver punched him until he drops.

Damn. But, you know, you got to do what you got to do. Carter. That's the saddest state of fighting is people that are desperate for the money because they used to be famous. Now they're not, and then they're going to have a fight. And they want fame and money at the same time.

Or slap fighting. That was the saddestate. When you need the money and you're slug, because you know you're only getting like $18 grand. The slap boxing? Yeah, you didn't get much. You ever see Jeremiah fuck up Lewis? You did?

Jeremiah hit him with all that. Oh, that was great. Pull that up. Lewis started cheating a little. He's throwing punches to the body. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Lewis hit him with like a legit punch to the body. Legion of Skanks.

And I was, yeah, I was so happy. Yeah. I was obviously, they had a slap fight. Jeremiah. Lewis just would never be able to handle the loss, which is very funny. Sure. Jeremiah weighs a hundred negativey four pounds. Lou's got leg kicked.

No, this is just one of them. They had one of them that they did on the street. Outside the same. This one was the setup because he got fucked up. Did Jeremiah box at one point in his life or something? He boxes against the Satan. Oh. Jesus.

He loves Jesus. Did he box or something at some point in his life? He's just wiry. Interesting. So, Louie. So Lewis was outside of the creek and some homeless guy was talking shit, something happened. Oh, that was bad. So he squares up with the homeless guy, and the homeless guy immediately leg kick something.

Like a really good, like, moly tie leg kick. And then he hits him with a second one. That guy was like, all right, all right. I don't know. No, I saw it. I watched it a few times. Lewis wanted to keep it going. I didn't even watch it.

I know Lewis put his hand out. He was like, all right, all right, we're good. I won't watch that, and I won't watch the Perez Hilton video either. Oh, that's good. It's fine. Fine? Is this guy having a break? He's not a half an hour?

He's not cutting himself. Oh, you think it's fake? Yeah. He's in the hospital. What? For the mental breakdown, not for the wounds. Are you sure? I would imagine.

I think he got some pretty good last year. I don't know if you want to say that. That dude will sue you. He will sue you. That crazy fucker? Sure, just for attention. Sues the guy who holds the world record. The world record of the largest selling out show of all time.

Of course he's going to sue you. Who? Perez Hilton? No, this guy. You're right. Yeah. Of course. I thought I heard selling out.

I went to the other way. You're in England. A lot of things would change. I'm a headliner now. There's a new sheriff of town. How is it over there? You're good again? It's fucking rough.

They hate immigrants so hard. When are you going to move back? Including you? Why don't you come back here? Right here, right here, buddy. Come on. We'll get you an apartment. You got to go.

I'm already hooking up. You call yourself an immigrant. He is an immigrant. He's an immigrant. He's a law set up to make it hard for you. No, he's an immigrant. If you're in England. That's not the immigrants they don't like.

I know. I'm trying to explain that to them. I think they like the other kind. Tell them you hate Muslims. You'll fit in. If you just came in with no paperwork, you'd get all the services. Oh, they hate Jewish immigrants. No, no, they just, yeah.

They hate just immigrant. They make it hard. You can't rent an apartment unless you have three years of UK rental experience. What? Come back. I know. We all, every immigrant is. Come back to him.

You know what I mean. Ari. Don't tell them you're from. Ari. We got a place for you right now. How do the other guys get in so easy? They have to live with their fucking families. They just can't do it.

I got a place for you. It's in a nice condo. Let me stay with you. Come on, I got a place for you. I'll stay at the foot of your bed. I'll watch me and my wife fuck. I want you to do this in the middle of the night. I'll make you take pictures of me and my wife.

I'll eat popcorn while you guys are fucking. Why don't you get a nice place in a nice pan house? I know a spot. I know a spot. I got a spot for you. Get me a place right above Tony. Oh, it's a nice view. The place that I'm talking about?

Tony's the bottom. I literally have a spot. I have a spot. It's a nice condo. You don't need to live in that nonsense. You're going to end up here anyway. It's going to happen. It's more fun.

You're having fun over there, I mean, I'm just getting started. If you want to work, there's plenty of fucking clubs. Too early. Shut up. I'm living in a knob hill. You would have said you're having fun. You just said, you're just getting, sorry.

You're not having fun. I'm not having fun. It's been very difficult. Bail. You'd be having a shit. It's been extremely difficult. Come back. I haven't found an apartment.

It turned out by seven apartments. Wow. You got a shave. There's legit anti-immigration. All right. I'll give you an apartment for a year for free. Whoa. Keep it down.

Keep it down. Fuck it's stoke you. One year. It's a nice two-bedroom in a gated or guarded building. Can't spell a gate without. One year. One year for free. Come on.

Let's get started. I think it's on the 39th floor. It's a great view. 309th floor. Which one is that, that tall, thin one? I'll show you later. What do you have it for? I got real estate, bro, I'm rich.

Oh, nice. Wow, a year. I'll give you one year for free. You don't have any money. I don't have any money. Come on, dog, you don't need any money. I haven't heard in so long. Get some money at the mothership.

You could do a night once a week. You get 80% of the door. You start making money. Yeah. You can work all around town. You can start doing the road in America. When the fuck was this offered before? When the fuck was this offered before?

I had to go through all the paperwork. Because I want to try to lure him back. I didn't think he was really going to go through with it. I thought he was going to stay. I thought he was going to stick with Legion of Skanks. Did I think I think of fucking Francis Foster to be my guarantor. They were like, we don't trust you with your money. I was like, I make more than him.

They were like, it's not your, it's American. Damn. They don't trust your money? I'm freelance, so I have no actual boss, no employer. And then it's like, do you sell they're safe, bro? Can't they just Google you and see your Netflix specials? I've tried that. That doesn't work.

The problem is they saw the first one first. Which one? He's got no future. Amazing racist? No, yeah, that'd be great. No, they would welcome me in that. They say your Kobe video. Like, uh-oh.

There's got to be a British guy out there is hearing this. Like a British Rogan who's like, I'll give you a place. Jimmy Carr. He wrote my visa letter. He's a great guy. He's a good guy. Ricky Jervais is great. Fucking apartment.

Dude, I've been turned down by seven apartments. Why don't you live with Eddie Azard? Isard? Because I need some fucking closet spacing. He's taking it all. He's way out of the closet, bro. He's all the way up. his dresses oh got it um listen come back come back to America it's a cute idea you

got to hit me up in a year I haven't even gotten started yet come on stop it's not gonna work yeah yeah give me one of those bloodlikes absolutely one of those crisp trying to get fat off these IPAs hell yeah give me some keys let's do these to go all right hold on us got some keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys keys it's not time yet give it a second give it a second Don't try to deflect from your fucking British... Guys, I just started. This is the wrong time.

Sorry, fuck that place. No disrespect to English people. I love them to death. I bought three tottenham tickets. I'm not going now. Here's the other problem. They're going to put you in jail. You talk too much shit.

Dude, trust me, I fucking press them. They're going to princess die. You want to go to jail, huh? I want to test the fucking rumors. That's what it is. He's a... This is Josh Hokit. Michelle Obama is a man in the White House long?

That's what he's doing. He's doing that shit. I got a sweet new bit about Muslim drivers, female drivers. Oh shit. I do too. Let's make sure we don't want to cross over. Okay, yeah, yeah.

You don't want to live there, dude. I do. It's fun. Shut the fuck out. You miss us. You miss us. You were so sad. Manchester United, that would rock.

Dude, December 5th, come to the derby. Sure, to visit, right? To Darby. What? Once you live there long enough, you'll understand it's called a Darby. I just said the Derby. You called a Derby. I didn't say that.

It's spelled Derby. I said Darby. It's a Derby. I said it. Watch the tapes. I said it. Yeah, you're watching this. Roll it back.

Click back. I wish we can rewind in real time. I think he said Derby. We need an instant replay. I apologize then. I thought he said Darby as well. I'll be the bigger man. Do you see how I do that?

You're not a bigger man. You're not a bigger man. I'll see. That's not a bigger man. See? Who are you don't know? He's right. You were clearly wrong.

Hold on a second. Can I see? Can I finish? Can I finish? See somebody lost the composure. When I'm wrong, that's the name of this thing. I go, I'm wrong.

Okay. And that's just a lesson for you. I thought you're wrong You can learn from this Derby Dreamhuis He's bad That nicotine took him out I was on gone man

I was in London That was bad That was a rush Not a good rush Couldn't think straight My legs won't stop moving Now imagine taking like literally 20 of those

Over the course of a night And they're trying to go to bed That was me last night. I was laying in bed, I said, I think I'm done. Yeah, it's every night. And then I listen to that fucking Annie Jacobson book every night. I'm like, oh, shit. Who's that?

She's scared the fuck. No. She's the lady that wrote the book on nuclear war. Nuclear War scenario, which was the scariest book I've ever read. The new one is on biological war. It's bad. It's a bummer, dude. It's fucking scary.

It's like. How easy it would be to ruin everything? Yeah. Yeah. And how we're doing it. Everyone can die. Yeah. And China's definitely doing it.

Yeah. We're making crazy stuff right now in labs. Like all this Fauci shit that's coming out. Like a lot of this stuff, what they're really doing is warfare stuff. Yeah, it's terrible. A lot of these like diseases, this gain of function where they're trying to pretend that they're trying to protect people from future viruses. What they're doing is making viruses more transmissible and more deadly. And they're working on it.

That's your tax dollars are at work. All right. They made a plague. They made the bubonic plague that the first 24 hours. They spliced in a thing that makes it you feel euphoric. It's like ecstasy for 24 hours so that you want to go out and talk to people and go to a bar and you want to go out and dance. That's like brilliant and evil at the same time. Who's doing that?

The Soviets did it. Oh, it spreads like a virus. Oh, yeah. Oh, and it's a hundred percent. It's like that cat. It's like that cat. 100 percent deadly. Yeah.

But the fact that they spliced in ecstasy for 24 hours. So the first 24 hours, you're like, I got to talk to my friends. You're feeling right. Wow. Wow, that's genius. You're calling your friends up, telling people about your new protocol. This is my new health protocol. Damn.

Whoa. Meanwhile, you don't know you have like 100% fatal Ebola or whatever it is. Wow. Yeah. It's pretty lame. It's pretty lame. Whoever did this should be executed. All of them.

All of them. Well, you see the Fauci thing where he knew that women were getting miscarriages? What? And they lied about it. He lied about it months after he knew, after express publicly or private, rather, in a text message that it seems there's a cytokine storm that's causing miscarriages with the second dose. So he says this in a text message.

I don't know if he said second dose, but he did say cytokine storm that is associated with miscarriages and then publicly was out there promoting the idea of women who are pregnant getting vaccinated when he knew there was an issue. And they also lied about the number. the number of women that got, I don't even want to say what the number was because what I'm reading is 80%. 80% miscarriage rate in the first trimester.

Something fucking insane. But I personally know five people who got pregnant during the pandemic, got vaccinated and had miscarriages. Five different people. If I got a girl pregnant, I'd be like, you need to get the vaccine. You need to be safe.

Our baby needs to be safe. And you should get both, the Moderna and the other one. Just in case. Whoa, mama. Dude, it's fucking terrifying. That guy's a sociopath. People that are thinking that this guy was some sort of a fucking health care hero,

you don't know what happened in the 80s. You need to go and just objectively read up on what that guy did with AZT and AIDS in the 80s. I thought he was like an AIDS hero. Fucking monster. Didn't he do a lot of good with AIDS? No, I'll tell you in a minute. So what does it say? Cuminative miscarriage rate of 10.

0.8% from 6 to 20 weeks with after MRNA vaccination. Just stop and think of that. Imagine if you're having a kid and Mark, you have a kid, you're the only one besides me. You love your kids more than fucking anything in life. The idea that you could give a medication in

1 out of 10, your baby's dead. No one's going to sign up for that. And what is the odds your wife is going to live and everyone's going to be fine? It's 99.9.99.99 if you're healthy. Nine, nine, nine, nine. Meanwhile, this motherfucker went around telling people that they should get vaccinated while they're pregnant. I should have signed up for that. A claim from early 2021 pregnancy registry report showed an 81 to 82 percent miscarriage rate.

This is a misleading recalculation of preliminary registry data, many live bursts in that early report involved people vaccinated. in late pregnancy, so simply removing them from the denominator while returning. But the issue, apparently what he said was in the first trimester. That's why it's 82% within the first trimester. That's what they're saying. This is what I'm reading from actual doctors, including Jay Batacharya was talking about it online. So this is like not cooks that are talking about this, this issue, that he knew that there was an issue with women having miscarriages.

And that motherfucker still promoted it. He's still promoted it openly on television. It's very important that women get vaccinated. That's the most important thing. They were just selling vaccines, man. They were selling vaccines and killing people. And why the fuck does an 80-year-old have a diary? Anyone find that strange?

Diary. It's the most embarrassing dream journal. Today, Jennifer Aniston said I was lovely. Weird. Julia Roberts called me a hero today. Yeah, who's he trying to remember? He's gonna be fucking dead. Bro, he's a crazy person.

I'm gonna look back at this. That guy's a fucking legit crazy person. Did a other sides of a diary? He gave people AZT in the 1980s when they had AIDS. ACT was a chemotherapy medication that they discontinued because he was killing people quicker than cancer. But it had already passed through all the FDA bullshit, right? So it had already been a used drug.

So once it's a used drug, you can use it for other things, off-label use. So that's what they started. Brickett. Doing. No. So that's what they started doing in the 80s, and they're just fucking killing people who didn't even have any symptoms. Arthur Ash didn't even have any symptoms.

And they just started giving him AZ-T, and he was dead in like six months. I think that's the, didn't Berishnikov? Did he die from AIDS as well? I don't know. From Sex and the City? Yes. Did he? He was a homosexual.

Am I making that up? Pull it up? Someone like that also died of AIDS that didn't have any symptoms, but tested positive for HIV. And then the problem with the testing positive was they were doing the same shit that they were doing during the COVID epidemic where 80% plus of all the COVID positives were false positives because they were using the PCR method, which Kerry Mullis, the guy who invented the PCR method, said it's not supposed to be ever used to detect an actual infection. That's not what it's for. It's detecting particular, like whatever small amount elements depending on how many cycles you ramp it up. And if you ramp it up enough cycles, you could find almost anything.

And that's what they were finding. There's 80 plus percent false positives. So how did he die? He's not dead. He's not dead. Oh, great. It wasn't him. There was another guy who was a dancer.

Well, you've got to have Fauci on. Sorry, Mitch Kelton. Yeah, you got a Foucher. Oh, yeah, definitely have him on. He'll plead the fifth to everything. Did you see that shit? What colors your tie? Yeah.

I respectfully plead the fifth. He got part in the gold or blue. But here's the thing. But here's the thing. But the thing is, Biden did all those through Autopin, and Trump just recently made an announcement that all the Autopen... What's Autopin? Autopin is you use, like, a stamp, like a rubber stamp, instead of actually writing a signature. And they don't count.

And this is what allegedly, supposedly, Trump is saying, that they don't count, and he's making them all null and void. So that means, if that's the case, that means that Biden, who pardoned more people than anybody ever. by far, like a giant jump. He pardoned Fauci for 10 years for things that he didn't do. Trump can't void Biden's auto because of autopanned. So this is very recent. He wasn't going to do it. Okay, but he did it.

This is March 17th. So this is March 17, 2025? I know. But look it up recently because he did it on true social. He talked about it on true social. Unless it's fake. That's the other thing. It could be fake.

I'm not a lot. Look, I have done a very smart thing over the last three months where I'm, I almost never go on Twitter. And I go on Instagram and my curation right now is nice. It's all murders and science stuff. Dude, I'll send you some dog videos, but get really in there. I got dog videos. Top 10 dogs of the week. We rate dogs. Everybody look it up. Fat asses. This is, Trump says he respects Biden's Anthony Fauci pardon amid outcry over his own. So here's the thing about the auto pen. If I had a guess, if I had a guess, if you were starting to complain about Biden's pardons

and then you overturned Biden's pardons. At the end of this presidency, there's going to be a lot of people where the justice is going to be coming for them. Unless a Republican gets into office. If J.D. Vance or Marco Rubio wins in 2028, they're going to be okay. But if someone else, if the guy from Pennsylvania or who the fuck it is, whatever it is. Are they talking about Shapiro? Maybe.

You know, he's one of the ones that they throw around. Ben Shapiro? No, Josh. Shapiro? Josh Shapiro. There's a few people that they say could be the president.

The other guys, the California dishback. This is why they never try any of them for war crimes because they're like, I guess you guys have come back at me. Exactly. Because they all do it. Everyone in the government's doing that shit. This government has done some shit

that no government has ever done before. And one of them is the crypto stuff. The crypto stuff's nuts. What? Like, Trump has made billions in crypto. Yeah, it's a bad look. Government's so fucking crooked And then you got his sons

And his sons are involved In all these weird business deals Where the business deals have to do with some things That Trump put in then the sons are involved In these businesses And like there's a lot of money flowing around That you could dig in And start arresting people

So if he pardons a bunch of people And gives them the same kind of deal That he gave Fauci The Trump family would do that Lakers sell Bob Josh Kushner Yeah but that's his brother That's Jared Coohinger He's just brother. He's not...

Still. But that's just the guy who has money. Deli Pard. I was at the White House six weeks ago. He was at the White House? Yeah, so was I. So was Shane. You know what I'm saying? Hold on.

Let's stop bringing up that up. We got up early. We were there. We were there. They asked me to go in the VIP room. I said, no. You didn't? I went in there.

I was hanging out. I was hanging out. I was in the champagne room. Me and Nate Bargotsie were in there. I know. I know. Look how that turned out. It was fine.

I stood outside in the rain. I was like, I'm not getting my picture. for that event. But you took a photo with Trump a couple of years back. It was a funny photo. That was great photo. That was what you were wearing

the Pablo Escobar shirt. That was pre a lot of things. That's true. That's pre-a-lot of things. No, no, no. Not me, personally. I mean, pre-him. I was back then when I was taking that picture,

I was like, this guy's going to release the Epstein files. No more wars. I like that. Was it killing Americans? Also, still didn't vote. Not a big deal. The Epstein files and then the Iran War.

You go after the vice president. It was pretty good. Well, I had to question them. Yeah. I mean, you know, I want to know. Like, what are you saying? I liked it because he was like, you were like, well, maybe they fucking went to a war with Iran for this. And he was like, well, I mean, you're saying it wouldn't because of that.

You're like, all right, put that aside. Yeah, he slipped there like Mayweather. Well, I had to have a, well, he did a good job of being respectful to the president. That's what you're supposed to do if you're the vice president. That's your job. Yeah. I mean, it really is your job. If you represent, it's a different thing.

Just being a guy versus being a vice president. So he's in a position where I had, you know, I asked him a tough question. Do you think that Trump would have actually bombed Iran and started war with Iran if it wasn't for the influence of Israel? And he said, I really do. I'm like, really, really? You really think so? Why? Like, what makes you think that?

We'll give you an honest answer either way. And if you listen to Scott Horton, he, you know, Scott Horton is an awesome guy on all things war, anti-war. And his, and his, that's what I was going with. He explained to me in great depth how difficult it is to turn enriched uranium into an actual nuclear bomb. And he's like, they were nowhere near able to do that. And Israel has wanted us to bomb Iran forever. They've been going to the UN with cartoon bombs saying they're at 62 percent. They're about to get to 80.

They've been doing this forever trying to convince the United States. And only Trump took the bait. But didn't Hillary want to do it? No, they just kept kicking a death. It was on that list. The thing is they didn't do it, though. For sure. They didn't do it, though.

Right. Trump did. So they all thought about it and like, this is not the smart thing to do. And they, look, they fucking ruined Libya, right? They did a lot of weird shit that they shouldn't have done. But they didn't do that one. They tried Syria. Everybody tried Syria.

The Iran thing's a big one. Because it's like, okay, now what? Because now we are the great Satan. Now he's sneaking out in a fucking catering cart. I heard the Iran thing was to get back in China. How crazy was that? That was fun. I heard that too.

The card of the deal. I saw you on Twitter there. You already tweeted that? Yeah, he tweeted that motherfucker. They're tweeting an hour ago. Solid fresh in his mind. He's happy with it. But not only that, they snuck him out on another jet, but they put the reporters on Air Force One.

That's wild. That's wild. Because if that thing blew up in the sky, that would be fucking wild. I would love to see those reporters like, that Trump's a pretty good guy. This is free PJ? It's awesome. Eating cheese, those cheese with the toothpicks. Yeah, they're sitting there like, normally he comes out of that back room and makes fun of us by now.

PJs are the greatest thing about being rich. Quieting. He comes out and calls one of us a fat bitch. Quiet biggie. Quiet piggy was. What the greatest fucking things the president's ever said. I heard one that it ended up being real, but it made me laugh so hard. He told Elon must to go back to Africa.

No. I don't know to be real but I like, damn, that's funny. That's fun. Him and Elon are close again which is so weird.

I think when you're on your second term you're like I fuck it. Let's let it right. Let's say anything. I don't know. Much money as he can. There's a lot of that.

But he's also, how old is he? 80? What happens when you're 80 where you're like, I need to do all this? Because he's got to protect himself legally. And a big family.

So let's imagine he stays alive for the next 10 years. Just think about what they did to him with the Russia, Russia, Russia bullshit. And then with the real estate bullshit.

Yeah, but now he gave him real stuff. Well, here's the thing, though. He needs real money. You need real money to fight that stuff. Like, the amount of money that he spent in legal fees for the Manhattan real estate thing, or the Palm Beach real estate thing, the

Mara Lago, when they said that Mara Lago is worth 18 million. Sure. Right. Mara Lago's worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Yeah, they pay taxes on it? No, it's like they tried to get him for real estate fraud. They tried to get that lady. What the fuck's her name? Letitia James. So there's They're going after him using all these lawsuits that are frivolous.

They don't make any sense. So by doing that and trying to bankrupt him or at least trying to put him in jail, like he realizes that, okay, I need a ton of money to protect myself. Now he's actually doing things that are going to get him in trouble. Okay. So what's going to get him in trouble? So here's the question. The thing about the crypto is it's shady as fuck, but it's legal.

Really? Yep. I don't know if it should be. I don't know what the deal is. I mean, I don't understand crypto, really. I've had a bunch of people try to get me into crypto. I understand one thing. Didn't Hock Tua get in trouble for this?

She did, but it wasn't her fault. Hock Tua, that poor lady, she got roped into something in a pump and dump, and she's not sophisticated. She's not a rope her and pump and dump. Spit on it. She's a young lady, and I guarantee you by hearing her talking about spitting on cocks. She has spent a lot of time in economics class. Triggle down So she probably got talked to and do it by a bunch of slick people

Look, she's fucking like 21 years old She was never famous at all She has one little tiny video Where she says she got a spit on that thing And then everybody loves her and she's trying to make money And then someone comes along and says Hey we're going to make this coin It's totally legal

Who do you think came along? I don't know Somebody came I'm not in the testament. Donald Trump reported more than $1.4 billion in crypto-related income from 2025. The first year of his second term, according to his federal financial disclosure, that's a lot of money for a year. He had a bump and dump on his own people. He did.

It's so ridiculous. Well, I don't know if he did. This is my question. Definitely did. But here's my question. I understand. But this is my question. Who's really investing in Trump coin?

And is it in fact a way to pay? someone. Let me say this because I don't know who's buying it. I'm just guessing. But let's just make up a fake scenario where I talk you into making a Gillis coin. Okay? And I say listen, dude, dude, dude, listen to us.

We're going to make a Gillis coin and I am going to personally, because like you did something for me and I can't pay you because that's illegal for this thing. So what we're going to do is instead of you like hooking me up with deals and making sure the regulations get killed

You gave me a new Air Force One. Instead, what I'm going to do is I'm going to put a billion dollars into this fucking Trump coin, or this Gillis coin, excuse me. And then we're going to have a bunch of other people throw a little bit of money in there. But the whole evaluation is going to be very high. So there's going to be a few morons that are like gamblers that want to get in and try to sell, which definitely people did. I think that's influence. There's a lot of that. There's a lot of gamblers.

But there's also, it's a sneaky way to pay somebody off. Right? If I invest. You raise the money by. If we make Shafir coin, we make Shafir coin, I tell you, it's not in England. So if I tell you, but if I tell you, like, somehow or another, we did something shady and I owed you some money. And I'm like, look, I can't just give you money. But this is what we're going to do.

We're going to start a coin. And then I am going to finance your coin. So I'm going to pour a bunch of money into your coin. We're talking about how great it is. As an anonymous investor in an overseas account, I'm going to dump a shitload of money into this coin. And then we're going to hype it up. We're going to get a bunch of other people involved. and then we're going to pull some money out of it for you.

And then you sell. I think that's all they're really doing right now. They get some influencer to go in. It raises up and they sell off little bits at a time. It's corrupt musical chairs. It's like you know when you're going to stop the music. Yeah. What about the insider trading?

Well, there's that. That's the other thing. I mean, DeRosa was here yesterday. DeRosa was talking about how when he worked for the Senate. and he was saying like these fucking people. Wait, what the fuck? Yeah. DeRosa worked for the Senate.

Joseph. Yeah. He did. And he was involved in... What did he do? Get them all one extra shot. What did he say, Jamie? He was involved in some in the media?

Yeah. It made them more than KFC. Some media department, some part of it. But the point is he was saying, is this crazy when you see these people and they're getting like $150,000 a year. But that's a tiny percentage of what they're making. All these donations that they're getting, all these deals they're doing in business deals. They're doing baseball to get around the salary cap.

100% or whatever. They're just like, we'll give you a job. What? I hate the Dodgers. They're slipping, huh? You guys hate the Dodgers. They're just the best team ever and they bought all the players. That Asian cat.

Otomi? He's a tall. Is he the best ever? Otomi? Not probably. Numbers wise. You could argue that. Last few years.

He is. Not yet. He could be if he keeps doing what he's doing. In the last few years, he's been the best. Is he Wade Boggs on the, he was, he was. fishing with his shirt off, fucking jacked. He's like 100 years old. Yeah, he looks amazing. That's great. And he beat cancer. Really? He beat cancer. And his wife. He won the World Series. It got on a police horse.

Well, when I was living in Boston, he was going through that whole cheating scandal. Like he had a little flusie on the side, and it all went public. Look at him. What? Show the full picture, though. There's a better version of that picture where you see his arms and everything as well. There is. Look at that. He's living. Jacked. It's like the expendables. Bro, he's fucking bogged.

Yankee Great. He's Chuck Norris right at the end. Yankee Great. Look how great he looks. Wow. First of all, look how lean he is. Fucking dude is in shape. Looks like Kumail Nanjiani.

He's got the appendix card too. How much better would the world be if we got all those progressive dorks to get on the Camille Anjiani diet? All of them? All of those dorks that be dangerous. Talking about, are their friends? have trans friends. Like, stop. Your kids are nine. They don't have trans friends. Give me a key.

You don't have... Your nine-year-old kids don't have trans friends. Here, you need testosterone and start doing some deadlifts. And you'd be like, yeah, this is crazy. And now he's a Marvel. Kuhmel's a cool guy. I like him a lot. He's a very nice guy. I've only had a few interactions with him, but they've been very nice. He's a very nice guy.

And I like the fact that he got jacked. Jack? Fuck you. A Marvel hero. Fuck you. This idea that you can't be funny to be jerks. Suck it. Suck it. Shut your fucking dirty, stinky hole.

You know nothing. There's no rules. There's no fucking rules. Cardigans on stage. You've got to cover up. Well, it's just distracting. It's fucking sweat. It's funny because girls go the other way.

Girls are kicking your ass. But it doesn't work. I remember we were walking. Who's kicking my ass? The new Rangers? The new Rangers? Your drinks. Oh, yeah, they are a little bit.

They get me lit. That's a good name for you, the Voodoo Ranger. Me and Fitzhimmons walked into the comedy store one night, and there was this lady on stage that had a short, leather, miniskirt, high heels, great legs, big tits. Who's how his mom doing there? And she was on stage, and she was talking, and I just turned, when we walked in, I turned him instantly. I go, what are the odds that she's funny? And he goes, one in a billion.

I go zero. There's zero percent. There's no chance. There's not a chance in hell. that this young lady who's that hot is funny. It's not possible. I think Judy Gold's hilarious. Boy, imagine her in a skirt.

Woo! See that labia hanging? Jesus. Sorry, Judy. Sorry, Judy. You didn't deserve that. She'd be getting kicked out of bathrooms. It goes, sir, get the fuck out of here.

Cut it. Got it, J-Mo. Time the note, note the time. Cut it, and we're back. We were joking around. Hey, cut it like Perez Hilton. Cut it again, we're back Tim Dillon thinks it's fake

What's fake? I thought it was fake. You think some of the cuts are fake. He thinks he's like someone who's covered himself with paint or something. That's exactly what I just said. It's pretty healthy. You really think that? Yeah, I watched it. He knows the gaze. Like rubbing a knife against him. Pull it up. And there's no cuts when he does it. I thought

the report said he was hospitalized with serious injuries. And I thought there was drugs involved. Brain damage. Like OD kind of stuff. Probably. Well, he said he wanted. I didn't see them For real like

Again, I didn't watch it But I was listening To I didn't watch it but I was listening to the fucking studio anymore What? What the fuck did you just say? This is what we were talking about

On the phone yesterday That's why England lost Mumbles and you're like What are you talking about? I don't know what you just said You have so much energy You can translate You won't let me piss in the studio anymore

There you go You should move to the north That's right In England Yeah you can piss anywhere Piss in the corner Yeah Pissing your own apartment on the floor, no one cares.

Man, I did a tour in Wales. I got heckled by those guys. You don't know what the fuck they're saying. The whole crowd laughs, you're like, damn. Yeah. Must have been a good one. Right, right. What's that, sir?

Oh, man, I did Glasgow. Those heckles are wild. I did Dublin, and I did Belfast back in the day. Belfast was the craziest. Like, you don't understand a word they're saying. Nothing. Don't understand a word. Scotland, I couldn't understand a word.

I was drunk at a bar. I went to a bar, I mean this one dude, I just met this guy at a bar, We just started throwing down. And four or five drinks in, he's just like, I'll fight any man. Fucking Chocoladale, whoever it is. I'll fight any man. I'm like, I believe you.

I believe you. I love it. He's not saying he's going to win. He's just like, I'll fucking do it. I'll fight any man. He wanted me to know. I'm like, I believe. There's all the best.

Let's have another drink. They are literally the best bros of all time. Yeah, they're fine. I grew up with guys like that. It was a good time. You were glad they were on your side because they were just, Totally insane. I miss those days where I could just go to a bar and just pull up and just get lit.

It was fun. Oh, yeah, you can't do that. It's too hard. Too many people come over. Back then, so this is like 2007 or some shit. There's no cameras. There's no phones. There's no iPhone yet.

So it's like people are just hanging out. Cameras have ruined young people. They can't cut loose. Ruined everything in terms of like people's connection with each other. Oh, that too. 100%. I was just buying on each other all the time. The old phones, that was as far as we should have went.

A flip phone that you could text on. And the texting sucked. And then we know it's bad and we still can't stop. Yeah, we can't stop. It's got too much good shit on it. But I pulled back considerably, like I was saying, over the last three months, just decided enough is enough. It's hard though.

I just decided enough as enough. That's good. I'm like how I feel when I just scroll through doom all day. You get off for an hour. Sometimes you're just like, what the fuck? I know. You're bummed out. I got like, you know, I can't.

I can't look at it anymore. Like I can't. Because it's not about you. It's just negative. Yeah. So everything's negative. So it's kind of hurts. So it's not like I'm like making a disciplined choice to be like I don't want to look at this anymore.

Like I haven't looked at Reddit in forever. Right. Years. They can't look at Twitter anymore. They'll show you a picture of a nature and they go, well, not everyone can afford to get there. You're like, oh, damn. Oh, God. Yeah.

But yeah, it genuinely makes me feel bad. So it's like I can't even, like, I mean, of course I can, but like, I don't want to click on it anymore. You don't want to live. in their world. You don't want to be in their head. And they don't want it either. And the only way for them out is to not do that. And if they keep doing it and keep living in that fucking same swamp of

ideas, they're never going to change. My dad just got on to Instagram reels, which is very fun. What's his... He's TikTok, and he's sending us fucking AI dog videos, like dogs driving cars and shit. That's positive. Oh, no, it's great.

And it's a nice thing for me and him. Like, I'll send him Instagram reels of like you know Larry Bird highlights I sent him like some white safeties from the 90s fucking laying guys at like John Lynch highlight video

Steve watch his best speaking on JMO toss up a little John Lynch highlight video for the boys dude that's the best way fucking love it it's the best way for guys to connect

is like here's a funny meme here's a video because we got nothing to say hey I'm gonna tell you guys something we have to edit this out because no one can know yet pause no

no yes by the way I'm glad we didn't do we're back and we're back we're back. I'm glad we didn't. We were talking about doing one with Hunter Biden, but now everybody's doing one with him. Tucker just did

it. Then they did Chris Williamson, Duncan Trussell, Matt McCusker, and Biden. Why did everyone get the idea? They kind of did. They still are protective parts. Fucking Williamson. They kind of did. They're trying. They're trying. That limey. We wish you the best. Good luck. Good luck. You didn't do it. Yeah, you know. Highlights. Hey.

Look at that, Joe. You're going to like this. John Lynch. Lay in the hammer. Oh, pick. Let's go. Four seven. Boom. Boom. Let's go. Get the fuck out of here, pussy. Bro. You got to shoot guys. You got to do a season on the sidelines.

It's so good, dude. You know what you should do? You know how I do a fight companion for fights? Yeah, he should do a game companion. Oh. It would be fucking giant. I couldn't do. I couldn't do Notre Dame.

Why not? You care too much. Dead silent the entire game. Right. Okay. You see that guy called a Phillies game? What about NFL? I could do the Eagles.

I could have a little more fun with it. Dude, do you know how fun that would be? You, McCusker, Jalen Hertz. Football players. Jaylen Hertz. Get him in there. Get a football player in.

Oh, yeah. But get Taylor. Get Taylor. And Nate? Oh, Leone and. Yeah. Yeah, or Will. Yeah, both of them together.

That would blow up. How about that? You, McCusker, Taylor, and Will. Let us use your studio. Do you know what you do it? 100%. Lock it in. There it is.

On Sunday. He's like, what the fuck. JMO? JMO. It would be a great idea. Sundays. It wouldn't mind of football at all. Occasional Thursday.

We could get a couple of brisks in here, watch the one o'clock. Dude, a football companion would be sick. With you guys, that was literally sick. You could totally use this place. That would be 12 here. Bro, that would be so sick. And people would love it. Adam will come out with me on Sundays when I'm in Austin, and he doesn't drink.

So, like, we'll come out, we'll watch the one o'clock game. I'll get a buzz going. He would relapse for that. No, you'll go, all right, 4 p.m. We'll stay for the 4 p.m. Spike is so. He's relapse for less. I'm drinking for the 4 o'clock.

P. They go, fuck it, we're out here. We might as well stay for Sunday night football. That's the 8 p.m. There it is. Came for three hours. He exiled me for 14 hours. Not drinking?

That's crazy. And I'm fucking devastated. Every Sunday. Yeah, I think that would be a killer move. That would, listen, we've done fight companions that got way more views than the actual UFC itself. And I think that, like, with football? No, but that's what makes it good.

Yeah. Well, Matt's just funny a shit. Yeah, it's funny. And he, you can ask. about football and all the answer earnestly. He'll be like, who do you think is going to win? I'll be like, the Jets. They suck, dude.

You have no idea. It's a great idea. We would have to, yeah. No, you do whatever you want. It's a great idea. Try one. Definitely do it. I couldn't do college football, though.

Yeah, I get it. I get you too invested. I'm going to be going to a lot of UT game. We've got to get you to a Texas game this year. Oh, yeah. Texas Ohio State. Dude, I went to three last year. Really?

Yeah. Really? Yeah, yeah. You're fun. You're a tailgate. They've got a good tailgate here. The best is the nighttime games. Ooh. Nighttime games are fun.

Oh, the night games. Bro, nighttime games are lit. They get crazy. They're fun. Any live event is fun. Any sporting event. Yeah, but there's something about Texas and football where it's like an institution. Oh, I went to the LSU games in college and it was like the Coliseum.

It was insane. What do we got here? September 12, 630, Ohio State versus Texas. That's the one. Let's go. That is. Only, no, that's the weekend before. That's the weekend.

There's, when's the UFC? There's a UFC in that. 9-11? The Jets. Oh, it's the weekend after. It's the 18th and 19th. That's in L.A. There's a UFC in L.A.

If you guys want to take over the comedy store for a weekend. Oh, shit. What day? 18th and 19th. The 19th is the UFC, the 18th. September. Take over on Friday. Damn.

What I say, fellas? What are you say? Taking over the world. February 7th. Let's go. I know. But we still got to go see Kanye. That's the big way.

Kanye September 4th. Is he have any other shows announced? I'm not sure. The third and fourth in Chicago. Is he going to let you sing a song? Is that Brian? I'm going to stand on the top of the globe and do stand-up. Before it comes out, I'm going to do one bit.

I got a question. What are the ancient Jews that had the box on the head? It's all around. They still wear the box. He rocked for a box. I got that in Brooklyn. Okay, what's the box? It's got a GPS in there so you can plan out.

Where the fucking beepers are. Jakarta is going to be nuts. Jakarta. Al-Madi. Holy shit. Where's Almaty? What is that? New Orleans.

New Orleans? It would be fun. Wait, where's New Orleans? Yeah, when's New Orleans? Cossackston. Cossacks. You're doing that? He's just in 2018.

That's crazy. Let's go to Cossacks. It's just doing a stadium in Cossack. Hey, Super Dome in New Orleans. would be fun. That's fun. Or we could just go to Jakarta and get killed. Let's go to Chicago. September 4th. September 4th is the move. Or third. Third or fourth is the move. I don't know if I still have it in me, boys. I'm soft these days, dude. I don't even know if I can bong a beer these days. America. You got it. Fuzzle memory. Kick in.

What changed? I'm just gay now. Do it for America. Fuck England. America. Fuck yeah. Yeah, I still got it. Chicago is only about... This doesn't go wet. How many hours is Chicago? Is Chicago? from here by plane hour and a half? Two.

Two? Two. So we could conceivably do a podcast on that Thursday the third and fly straight to Chicago. September. It's taking two weeks.

Do a podcast on the plane. Nice. Yeah, why not? Nice. Are you cool? Are you cool with Kanye? We could do before and have beef? We met.

What? When? In the, yeah. Will you please show up with the Yamacon? Oh, get the box Tell me about the box Yeah, what's going on with that box? What's in the box?

What's in the box? It's got some prayers in there, you're a big deal? It's got some codes. No, really, what is actually in the box? Are you not going to tell the glory? I think it's biblical scripture. Yeah, it's like hero Israel.

And the big of the box, the more scripture you got in there, the more pious you are? No, no, no, no. That's what it is. You got a fat box. Look at that guy. Yeah. No, those costs like 15 grand, dude.

That's tight. Obviously. You know what's weird? You ever seen those ancient Chinese sculptures that show a guy with a box on his head that looks like he's got a giant nose? Have you seen those? No. What? Yeah, yeah.

You're saying Jews visited a China? I believe so. Wow. There's an Asian Chinese sculpture. We got there early to get our Chinese food. See if you can find those, Jamie. There's Chinese sculptures of dudes that have boxes in their head. And then people have looked at them and, hey.

Look at that. Hey. If you're saying that. No, that's not the one. No way. That's not what I was talking about, Jamie. There's some way better ones. What the hell the box are you talking about?

There's other ones that look like way more normal. Joe, I think you got to have a Jewish AI. Oh, my God, that's so funny. I'm telling you, I saw one with the box on the hell. The guy had the box. What's in the box? But it's just prayers? It's just prayers.

Crolled up? No. What a great idea. There's something in there you want to tell us about. Come on. What is it, Forskins? What do you got?

How much would people mock the map to the loss of world? Christians, if they carried a Bible in their head like a fucking chin strap. Yeah. Yeah, the Chris got some with that Pope hat. It's nothing to sneeze at. The Pope has a box of incense. Yeah.

The thing is, people, I want to wear a crazy wizard's costume to get you to convince that they're different than you. Bro, if you go to a dude, it's a cool-ass outfit, Pope has cool outfit. If you go to the church of the Holy Sepulker, Pope has cool outfits. And he's got a car. And he's got a sick car. Remember the Pope-Mobile? This new guy doesn't use the Pope-Mobile, though. What?

Yeah, this new guy is like the egalitarian pope. He's like a different kind of pope. So he's sitting in storage? He got rid of the throne, got his regular seat. He likes the gays. Jay Leno's driving it. He likes the gays. He likes the gays, man

Oh yeah That's the nice hat What an old lady has That's like Bishop Don Juan type shit Like DL Hughley The drip's severe That's a weird one That's a weird one

That shit's awesome Bro look at that's crazy Wow The staff It's tough to drive with that But you imagine any other job Imagine if that guy was a CEO of United Healthcare

He'd be like why is you dress like that Any other job Where you dress like that People would think you're a fucking idiot Why did that yama? Jesus didn't found United Health When?

Where's the Yama? Bottom right. Because he had to visit the Holy Land. That's a big Yom. I don't think that's a real Yamaama. I think that's like a Pope cap. The boys always wear it. It's different. It's cold in there.

Yeah. It's the same. No, it's not. He's got a socks hat on. It's covering his whole hat. Oh, yeah, he's a Chicago guy. It's covering the whole head, bro. Oh, look at that.

White Sox. It did Pope night the other night and everybody got one of the Popettes. That's hilarious. Hey, Tommy Pope. And then they had a nice moment. Tommy Pope's like, Tommy's like, for me? I barely even been to Chicago. It is weird that we let them dress like that.

I mean, this is fucking insane. They have to. But there's no other job where you're allowed to dress like that. Ah, look at that guy. Yeah, it's nice. That's a crazy outfit. Toss those out for the White Sox fans. Then they had a peace be with you with the entire crowd from the Catholics.

Really? Everybody shook each other's hands. I love when they do that. That's nice. Have me and Duncan, rather, have we ever dressed like popes? Duncan did. That's sacrilegious. We've dressed like priests, right?

We did priests. Uh-oh. Every time we do a podcast, Duncan and I would wear different outfits. The most difficult was furries. You did the furries? Yeah, you wear the helmet and you're like, respect to the furries. Yeah. Because this fucking thing is tough to wear.

Let's see the furry. Yeah, we've been... You dressed like Green Man? Oh, we dress like everything. We dress like Tesla robots. Holy shit. Look at that. We're just like demons.

Look at that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. If you go back through the catalog. That's great. That was great. That was Halloween with Elon. Me and Elon did a podcast and I dressed like that guy.

The Joe Rogan guy. The Puerto Rican guy. I would have thought that was me. If I didn't know that was me. I would have thought that was me. I think that's the one you guys were being quoted on CNN by saying something. With a bunch of candles. No, no, no, no.

You're wrong. The one we were quoted on CNN, we were literally dressed like clowns. We're actually clowns. When they cut to you after they set it up, I was like, guys. What's the black? Is that an ice agent? What is it black? No, that's a Tesla robot.

We dress like a Tesla robot Yeah That's great Yeah We I bought those online That's great Shout out to Amazon We've been elves

That was one Just to the left of that See Duncan dressed like an elf Sure He's cute Oh yeah That one we wore Plague masks

Jesus That's fun We've done everything Wait let me see that Plaguebushed Weren't Dunkin wore a gilly suit once How about the one

Where it's me With the eyeballs lit That was that That's terrifying Yeah that was Halloween episode. You would win Halloween. You could go out in that anonymously, not now

anymore, but yeah. They're pretty sick. But again, we couldn't keep those on for very long. Dude, we went, me and Sal, went one year on Halloween to the New York parade. Like 15 of us dressed in the same Batman outfit. And then every time we saw a Joker,

we'd all surround them and start like chest pumping them. It was so sick. We just kept going to be like, where is she? It was so much fun. So fun to be a dude. Yeah. Oh, and the work, the belt works. so we put liquor bottle, like airplane bottles in there?

Utility Bill. Yeah, just Stephanos with us at some point we had to rip up the bottom so we could piss through it on the street because he's that way to get. There's a one piece. Yeah. It was so great. And you feel hidden because you have no identity. Except of the beards coming out of yours. Well, that's what the furry's like.

They're like hiding. Yeah. Hiding who are they are. They don't like who they are so they can just be free. It's fun. I get it. I get it. I get it.

I'm wearing that mask for a little bit, though. Genuinely, both Duncan and I, both gain responsibility. respect for the furries. Yeah, but then they shoot the president. Nah, I don't know if they did. Wasn't that guy a furry? No, he loved a furry. Oh, he loved a furry.

Yeah, but I'm not even sure if that's true. All right. The more time goes on, the more I'm leaning towards Candace Owens. What? Way, whoa. She's got some very interesting theories about it. Hey. Yeah, DeRosa was there.

We were getting hammered. Those belts, look at you got the jamo bottle. That's great. That's funny. That's great. I don't think you. Any story that you hear in the news is accurate. I think there's always...

None. Or spin on it at least. There's always some spin. But the public believes it. And so whatever the spin is about Tyler Robinson, there's some bullshit to it. I don't know how much of his bullshit, but there's some bullshit. And one of the more recent bullshit is they found a photo that they were saying was Tyler Robinson, but then people noticed that the...

Because he was real thin. People noticed that the cars in the background, the proportions were distorted. And then they realized that what they had done was taking a guy who's like, much wider than Tyler Robinson and shrunk in the perspective. Really? Yep. Yep. And then when you see him for what he really looks like,

you're like, oh, there's no way that's that guy. That guy's big. And then you're like, well, it's mostly true. Like, no, you're not shifting it. No, no, they change, like, you look at the hood of the cars behind them. They're all like that narrow. Who is that guy? What guy?

Tyler Robinson? He was the guy who supposedly shot Charlie Kirk. Kirk, yeah. Not the president. Guatemala when I heard about that. What are you? Really? Yeah, people at some bar.

How did you hear about it? Some guys are like, what are you? about Charlie Kirk. I'm like, I like, college videos were cool to begin with. Yeah, and they were like, he's dead. I'm like, what? Hey, Kirk, no, you're going to show it. The thing about that guy is...

I had furry, show Charlie Kirk. What? What did you just say? Mammal, blah, blah. And Erica Kirk's a cook. This is funny. He didn't get on. She loves sparklers.

Yeah, she does. It wasn't funny enough. I was like, yeah, fuck are. You ever see Juski's America Kirk? Yeah, I jerked off. I thought it was there. Were people threatening him,

they were going to sue him for that? I don't know. It was funny, though. He's so funny. The best thing that ever happened to him. When he came out, he started to do a cartwheels and shit with white face on.

He's killing her that guy. Every video kills. When he goes to the NASCAR? Yeah, he's funny. Funny dude. Funny dude. People that got upset with that, shut up.

I know. You don't think it's weird. The lady comes out to sparkers behind her. You're out of your fucking mind. That's insane. I know. You don't think someone can make fun of that. She walks out.

fucking Randy Orton. Fucking Goldberg coming out of the park It's going out The fucking Undertaker. The Queen wore black for 80 years. The whole thing is crazy. In interview she dresses like

Seal Team 6. She's all blacked out with like a black hat and everything. She's serious, bro. She's serious. She's serious. She's serious. She's serious.

There's a lot of controversy in the Navy SEAL community as to who actually killed bin Laden. I've been down a rabbit hole this one. That's not O'Neill? Well, O'Neill says he did it. A lot of the guys that were connected to people that were on that mission say he was one of the people that shot Ben Laden, but he probably shot a guy who was already dead.

I don't know if that's true. I got his poster in my room. I'm sure they all put one in them. Look, if you were on the team and I had already shot him, you would run and shoot him too. Fuck yeah, we all shot. And then I would say, yeah, we got them. We all shot together. I'd let you get a little credit.

You know what's cool? I watched the doc about Ben Laden, and they found out it was him from his shadow. They measured his shadow, because they knew he was 6'5. So they measured the shadow. They knew it was him. Wow. I heard they knew where he was a long time before they attacked.

Well, you can't believe the news. No, no, no, no, from people, from the inside people. It's not the news. I knew, they kind of, they knew when to do it, and they had a decision, a strategic decision to want to take him out. I like it, not full invasion. Just get, like, six fucking badass guys in there. I can't back out.

I feel really naked. you without these sunglasses. He was throwing his kids in front of the firepower too. It's crazy. Ben Laden. Throwing his wife and throw it women in front of him. Are you sure? And they shot him all. Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. That's what I'd say if I shot a bunch of women and children. I said, fucking got through those kids out of this. Place them there. He's coming right out of us. No, that was a Baghdaddy did that. Yeah. He grabbed two kids and ran into a tunnel and then blew himself up. Oh, really? Oh, God. Oh my God. Oh, they were

there were D students. War is so crazy. Crazy. Good they were not in one of those. When is that going to end? When are we going to stop? Stop doing that. Take some profit out of it, but maybe.

Trump posted today about the Strait of Hormuz is now owned by the United States. I'm not being in Dismetic. I'm not being in Dismetic. You said it. Trump posted today that the United States controls the Strait of Hormuz. Yeah, he tweets that every fucking two days.

At some point, you got to be like, guys, what he's tweeting is just distracting you. There's a deal. We have a deal. deal. Yeah, but we all know this. We're close to a deal. Do it.

You imagine if you were a guy who had a coin, you had Gillis coin, and every time you tweeted, wild shit, Gillis coin just went up. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Isn't he selling his truth social tweets to people and then they can bet on it? What? I think, yeah. He can bet on anything now.

He's selling access. He's selling access. He's selling faster access to his tweets, and then you can bet on it on the markets. because... Wait a minute. It's literally insider trading. It's kashi. Maybe I'm wrong.

You can fix your own bits. Wait a minute. Is that real? You get access to a tweet before he makes it and then you get bet on that tweet. How is that legal? Wait a minute. What is this? Trump sued over true social advance access sale.

I'm online in the Oval Office. Who's telling him this is a good idea? I feel like I need to be closer to $1,000. Yeah, it's $100,000. You can get his early tweets. You know how crazy that is? $100,000 to get early tweets? He bet $200 on it?

That's literally crazy. I must best you all so much when he tweets like... Truth Socials parent company. Trump Media announced in July it would offer subscribers to Truth API who paid up to $100,000 each month. Oh my God, not even just $100,000 a year. It's a Patreon? For early access to market-moving posts from Trump and other people who use the platform. Market moving.

You imagine you charge $1,000. 1.2 million a year. He's just on a grab. Oh, yeah. And to get that, it's just people who are like, I'll profit all that. I just want to be in the meeting where they go, I got an idea.

And everyone will see each other and say, should we tell them, no? You go, look, everyone hates it. A hundred grand. Fuck it. I bet it wasn't even Trump. It was probably some weasel who works in the administration.

It was like, charge him 100 grand a month. And you post things and they can move the market. Yikes. What are we doing? Just into that form of the same shit. Well, here's the thing.

Is it legal? Because it is available If someone else wants to sign up for it It doesn't seem like it should be legal Obviously he operates in legal Fucking great land But this is the thing about the Trump coin It's not illegal

Like coins are not illegal What's her name was like my husband's a best thing I'm right It's gay This is all gay Yeah Enough It's not good if you're already wealthy I've had enough

I'm a fine Because you're already wealthy And you try making money I'm sick of it If you're already wealthy and try making money, is that a Tony Hinchcliffe? No, that's just me being gay. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

But I think anybody could start a coin. I mean, we, Jamie, we got hit up. When we were talking about the fucking Hawk to a coin, we got hit up by like a bunch of different people. And people tried to get me to add, to do ads for coins. And I'm like, hey. I'm still looking for actual coins. D-D-D-D-D-D-L-D-L-A-Fair. So here's a crazy one.

Here's a crazy one that went, I can talk about it now because it went away. But there was a point in time where I was doing interviews with fighters after their fights, and they said, I want to thank Marshall Rogan coin. And the coin was my dog's face. Whoa. And it was literally like almost like my logo. It said Marshall Rogan coin. And it was Marshall, my dog.

And I would interview these guys, and I was like, okay, if I call attention to this, like, what should I do here? My job when I'm interviewing fighters is just to interview fighters. I just, it's their big moment. They fucking worked their ass off to get here. They want to fight. I don't want to inject myself in any way if it's not necessary. You're like, what the fuck's that? Also, you're like, what?

Yeah, because, like, but a bunch of guys were like, I want to thank Marshall Rogan coin. The UFC got hip to it and they put a kibosh on it. But I don't know what these guys were doing, but I assume. What they were doing was a pump and dump, and they were paying the fighters. So I don't know if it was a pump and dump. Maybe it was legitimate. But the point is the fighters were legitimately getting paid because every time they would win, they would talk about Marshall Rogan coin and then, assumedly, some people that were interested in crypto would buy it.

That's no bluenow. It had nothing to do with me. And here I am interviewing these guys going, this is a weird position to be in. Like, I don't want to say anything. But eventually the U.S. is, you haven't anything to do with that? I would know. Because they're standing there, so it seems like you're part of it. A hundred percent.

Yeah. But also, I don't want to fuck up this guy's moment and say, hey, I got nothing to do with Marshall Rogan coin. I don't give a fuck. This guy just want to fight. There's a scam going on. Let everybody else figure it out. But it was the weirdest thing in the world. Like, my dog.

They'll do anything now. It's a coin, you know? Yeah. And I'm sure a lot of people probably thought I was involved. I had no idea it even happened until someone said Marshall Rogan coin while I was interviewing. I'm like, what? I mean, I wonder what the fuck that was. I found out in the octagon while I'm holding a microphone in front of a fighter's face after he won.

Like Marshall Rogan Cohen. And I was like, what the fuck are you just saying? My dog? Oh, boy. Poor dog. My dogs got fucking glass on. He's, he's looking at. Everybody's asleep.

He's on the laptop. He's in the phone with Cotter. I fucking try to get some That's the fucking shit my dad tends Right Right I'm fucking Instagram reel of a raccoon driving a car

And I'll be like go to bed Dude It's fucking 1230 That's adorable Bro raccoons might be the cutest Fucking animals They got a big coin Was it?

I'm done with these coins I don't even want to talk about it I was coming wrong the other day I'm going to talk about my dad Using Instagram reels He's moved on The second the Phillies game ends He's on the Instagram

Lights off in the house on a recliner by himself looking like Well they're endless My mom was on vacation for like two weeks My dad got fucking wrecked For two weeks The second she leaves the house

He dies He's calm He's like, I just want you to know You're a good guy Okay I love you dad He'll be like Yeah, all right Oh that's so funny

That's great Yeah he sits in the dark And looks at real He's like what are you doing right now He's like I'm going to bed Bro if you're an old dude And you've never experienced that He went from no internet at all.

Zero internet ever. Dump right into your Instagram rules. Yeah. Like, right to heroin. AI years. Loop me in with him and I'll send him all the shit that Tom Segura sends me. No, no, don't send him that stuff.

Oh, that's just dark. No. That's the Gora. Don't do that to Phil. We need to send Cigorous. Nice stuff. I sent Cigorous some fucking rough ones today. Woo, I got him today.

Every day and then he gets me, but I got him today. I got him with two brutal murders. You got him divorced. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got to send a divorce-dub murder pictures because thinking about that money, he's going to lose. Oh, an AOC's single, Tom.

You better get on that. I heard about that. That would be a fun couple. Yeah. She likes the honky. She's single and freezing her eggs. Really? He's already got two kids.

Yeah, she made a video of her freezing her eggs. Nice. Getting in there with a needle and plug up. She made a video of it? I don't understand how any of that works either. I don't get it. I don't get it. Just see what the South Korean

football team did? They have a football team? Soccer. You're such a bitch, dude. You suck a fucking bitch. You really do suck for that. They got all that. They got a...

Do it again. Do it again. You see what the South Korean soccer? You've lived here for... See what I did there? I learned and I moved out. Come on. You're 89 years old.

You're 89 years old. By the way, soccer's a British term. They got all the refs late. All the Refes there. Yeah. Sexual services.

Oh, good for them. They get them all late so they'll like root for the South Korea team. That's brilliant. Yeah. It's not cheating. Alleged that it spent thousands of dollars on sexual services for foreign referees. That's it? That's a steal.

Thousands of dollars is a fucking bargain. Think about how much draft king's money is in these games. South Korea seems like the shit. It seems so fun over there. Above is terrifying. They made Taekwondo, Samsung phones. Squid game. Parasite.

Oh, squid games awesome. Parasite was great. Yeah. They're having fun. K-pop. Yeah. However, they're not going to reproduce. That's true.

They're in a real, real situation. They're in a pickle there. They're in one of the worst situations in terms nationally in terms of reproducing. South Korea what? Well, because they're just busy, right? They're like an insane. Like, I grew up around Koreans. No, the Korean women are not into the dudes.

Well, it's not even just that. The work ethic over there is fucking insane. Really? Yeah, I grew up with Koreans because I was doing Taekwondo when I was a kid. So I was around Koreans all the time. Like, you've never seen work ethic like Korean people. They're the only ones that outdo us. It's the reason why I feel lazy to this day.

I was training with this kid who was going to medical school. He was going through his residency while he was on the national Taekwondo team. So he won the U.S. nationals. He was competing internationally while he was going through his medical residency. Damn. Jesus. Didn't even do it. He would just.

Hey, y'y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y. The dude slept like an hour a night. It was crazy. Some of his training, he would put his books, all the books that he needed to read, he put him in a backpack and just run the stairs at the university. And then go back to the library. Damn. I never, he always looked tired. He always looked like this.

He always looked exhausted. That's just how they look. Fucking ferocious. This guy couldn't even open his fucking eyes. He was so tired. But they worked so hard, man. And their parents forced them. Like they don't have any way out.

There's no like, man, take a year off and find yourself. Fuck that. There's none of that. That's not a tiger mom shit. That's real. And they do the eye surgery over there. Oh, yeah. A little appropriated.

They want to go round eye. They do a lot of that. Who was that music guy? Was he from South Korea? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that shit's amazing. Sai. Si.

Talk about him pumping you up. God damn. Gangom style. Gangom style. Yeah, that guy's gross. That's so fun. I love that. That guy hailed it.

John Lynch, raccoons. A comedian could never do that. When he's in that enormous crowd and he comes flying out of the floor, that rules, dude. We don't have to play the music, but we got to see that stage jump. Dude, it's so funny. We used to go to U.S.s in Vegas and you check into MGM. You're like, why there are a thousand Koreans here? There'd be some K-pop band that you've never heard of.

Filling up the state. Oh, everything. They kill it. So you're saying they're too busy. Here we go. Here he comes. Look at this guy. He was fucking.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, 100%. He fucked everybody. He's just like a band leader. Whoa. Look at them going crazy. Come on. Come on.

Look at them going crazy. Wow. I mean, this is worse. This is better than turnstile. Wow. This is like a Serbian basketball game. This is wild. I mean, they're pretty good.

Turns out of rules. Look at the fucking air this guy catches. Look at the air he catches. Look at that. He's a large band. He's dressed like a Dallas cheerleader. Yearleader. Yes, for the 80s

He's got the fringe Like outlawed Josie Wales You want to get a turn saw I want to go to turn saw on the way here Yeah They rule Generator though I'm more of an old old

Dirtown guy What Jamie They're over here trying to talk Trying to be cool Turn style I thought I called him trying to be cool I caught him trying to be cool

You caught me being cool No You said football When you really meant soccer That's gay as fuck That was gay It's a newer band It's not new

Well, what is Turnstarr? As far as new Joe It's new Explain to me please, Jamie There's a new Newer like a young Hardcore band kind of

You know Oh nice Is it cum core? Did you find any cum core? I just out I stumbled down Cum Metal No no

Play the live show Don't play video This is outrageous I thought this had live What am I looking at? What do you think now? I don't understand What I'm saying?

Oh nice Kids are in bands again. Guys, this is... Let me hear this? Oh, this is great. It's 12 years old. World is healing. Oh, it's a year old.

I thought this is like yesterday. The world is healing. Kids are doing band. Rock is back. They're from Baltimore. Nice. Ballmore. They say a...

The weird thing is how rap is falling off the charts. I was going to say that. It's because Drizzie Drake was gone. No, it's because USA got defunded. Maybe some of that. No, but Drake was gone. USAID got to fund of that drop rap? We're back on AIDS.

U.S. Aid, the Agency for International Development, is well known to have been funding about a bunch of radical anti-government rappers overseas. Overseas. Funding a ton of them. It was basically all about regime change. That was a big part of what USA was about. And the thought is that USAID had some, look, Mike Ben's, he is a famous quote, The USAID was there for things that were too dirty for the CIA.

What are you doing? Joe, the reason rap was gone? Because Drake was gone. Where would you go? Now, Poppy's home. No, USA didn't fund rap music. Despite with this viral right-wing theory claims about the court chart. There you go.

Yeah, but this is Yahoo News, and that's owned by Ari's family. Joe, can I say one more thing? Yeah. USA did a lot of good stuff. You've gotten so big that all of your opinions will be debunked. Yeah. That's true. Your opinions, when you say something, when you go, this is what happened, literally the first article will come up. And instead of naming you, it'll be like, that's wrong.

Despite these crazy claims, it's literally your claims. Well, if you Google something, it's directly against you. But this one is not mine. I read this online. And I read this from people like, one of them was Mike Ben's. And Mike Ben's is very credible and was talking about it. So it's not my idea at all. Mike Ben, isn't he a CIA disinformation agent?

Is that what you think? Oh, shit. I get you. I call him on FaceTime right now. We'll find out. No, I'm asking him. Ask him his disinformation. Hey, we're in the middle of protect our parks.

Yeah, can you have me that? I believe the fifth. Give me that puppy. A lot of what he's saying is not pro-CIA at all. Yes, because that's what they want, brother. There's no way the CIA would let a CIA agent fucking talk shit. That's true. Freaking me out, man.

They want to give us bad info. They love disinformation. Yeah, yeah. They invented sci-ups. God damn it. Slippery group. They did the acid things. Oh, yeah, they did.

That must have been fun. Imagine Washington people try to get laid. Meanwhile they're on acid. Cuban hip-hop. Whoa. Yeah. Failed attempt to infiltrate Cuban hip-hop. Yeah, but they try.

That makes sense, though. They're getting anti-government shit. It says failed. It says failed. It makes perfect sense. They're getting other countries, like, cultural revolutions. They always try to make other governments

unstable. What a better way than good music. That's smart. That people like. And that's what they did. But no, the reason hip-hop's down right now in the United States is sweet Jersey Drake was gone. Now Poppy's home. Check the charts again. Iceman's back. Ice man's back, daddy.

I mean, after all that? I'm a 90s hip-hop head. There's so much great 90s hip-hip-hop that it's hard for me to escape. that era and it got too to auto tunny well I don't mind some of the new stuff but it's like I like old school gnaz that's what I'm into cool G-rrap oh are you okay or is having a heart attack ever since he moved to UK became a pussy once warm beer yeah they drink warm beer over there warm beer in a hot day or goes

down terrible about some peas for back does they really have warm beer over there is that real the tailors bro you got a fucking Luke oh you just Are they pumping it like this? It's like barely cool. Can you order it cold if you want? No, what are they going to put it on ice? You can ask for ice. No, but the beer is cold there.

Guinness is cold. You can get a cold regular beer there. What is Timothy Taylor's? It's like a local. England doesn't have good local beers. They're not great. Oh, they never need an apartment now. All their shit is like, except for Newcastle.

You might get arrested at the airport. All their shits from Ireland, from other places. They have the fucking Spanish beer. Ireland kills a straight. They don't have locals unless it's like at your pub. Call me crazy, but everybody goes, the Guinness over there. It's so different. I didn't notice it.

It felt very similar. How could it be different? That's what they say. It's different here. We've got better pipes and barrels. Drake's back on the truck, but so is Thriller. Thrillers. The movie came out.

It didn't just come out. The movie, not the dock. Damn, stick season is still in the top ten? That's crazy. Morgan Wallin never leaves there. Look at this fucking... Morgan Wallin balling out of control. He's got two in the top ten.

Ariana Grando. She's a real skinny lady. Morgan Wallen's legit. I love his music. Let me see what else is in the top ten? What is it in the top ten of? What is it? The top 200.

What is it? Billboard. Is it albums or songs? Songs? So what is three? Which Drake song? Olivia Rodrigo. She's huge.

Ella Langley. She's fucking gigantic. Noah Khan. Noah Khan. Like that stick season's been around for years, man. That's been on my Spotify playlist for a long fucking time. This is albums. You like Noah?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I went to see him with the lady at a... Stick season's a great fucking song. How was it? I did shrooms to get through it. But, uh, what's not my cup of jizz, but it was her birthday, I took her there. You got to be in the mood for it. I like to mix it up.

It's always one going to a lady concert. Kayhan. Like a concert the girl wants to take you to do, and you're like, you just want to fuck this guy. And then midway through you go. I want to fuck this guy. I had a girl take me to a fucking... What's his name? Bettsen Boone?

That kind of guy? No, but that's something like. That's a boy. That's awesome. Then you go, holy shit, this show rocks. He's a cute twink. You know who I got coming on soon?

Rick Springfield. Nice. Have you seen Rick Springfield perform recently? No. Okay. They're eating the dogs. Seventy-four, maybe. 75 maybe.

looks fucking insane shirtless singing Jesse's girl can't find the video that's a hunch find the video probably still what

no no no find the video it's like all this go right to the video so the video of him there's a video that somebody captured of him on stage but it's like what the fuck is this real is this AI

he's in his 70s he's shirtless he's fucking ripped and he's singing like he just wrote the song last week like full enthusiasm. He's not Barry Manil in it with a rubber face.

Like he's, you know, he's really going all in. Look at this. Give me some volume. No way. Wow. This is. Give me some headphones. Wait, how old is he?

That guy's 70. He's got a rubber face. He looks 36. No. Lather pants. Wait, how old is this guy? Bro, he's 75 years old. No, no chance.

How old is he? 100%. How old chance? Listen it. What the fuck. He's in his 70s? Yes. He's in his fucking 70s.

What? No fucking way. Damn. And look at the energy he has. No, dude. This is really recent. No way. Yes.

It's crazy. Look, the guy kept up. He kept up. You can do it. What's he doing? He's on top. He goes to ways to well. Listen to me, boys.

Yesterday, I turned 59 years old. Oh yeah, happy birthday. Happy birthday, Benny. I'm old as fuck. That guy's young. Yeah, you can still do it. This is a different world we're living in. You get one of those mud lights for Joe's birthday.

If you stay on top of your health, you can do wild shit deep into the time we're supposed to be falling apart. Well, that biohack guy, whatever that guy is, John, Will. That guy's falling apart. He's falling apart. Brian Johnson. Yeah, well, they're doing fucking weird drugs and shit. Oh, yeah. Well, he's also vegan.

He's doing, like, blood transfusions. Stop with your fucking legumes. Stop. Stop. Stop with your beans with protein. Come eat with me. Come eat with me. Let's eat meat.

That was 785. Jeez. It must be it's better now. Wow. Bro, the dude's more better shape now. There's got to be other camera angles. That camera angle must be nuts. No, it's legit.

That doesn't even look. That's just a camera. Pull up his dating history. I got to know what old. Can you give me some music so I could do it to something other than America? Fuck yeah. Let's go. What's this?

We can't afford this. Jamie, give him some ice man. Give him some ice man. How long ago was this? I don't know, dude. A month. It says four weeks. Four weeks.

Bro, the dude's in his 70s. But it's the enthusiasm. It's the enthusiasm. He's not half-ass in this at all. Panned to the wheelchairs in the crowd. Boys. I love you guys to death. Happy birthday.

I'm so happy we're here. Yeah. Look at that. Voodoo Ranger. Where's the ice man? I don't have too much going on. There's the ice man. Guys, I will tell you, I've been incredibly lonely in London. I needed this bad.

You need to move back here. Will you fucking move here? Why are you doing this? You were in the jungle for a year, you're sikego. Free rent for a year. Come on. I'll show you the place while we're here, while we're in town. What are you doing tomorrow?

I'll show you the place. Let's see the place. Come on, man. Free rent for a year. Free rent, you Lance. Got a gym, a nice place, got a spa. Oh, that's a Drake video. Oh, the video.

Are you in an official Drake video? Yeah. No way. Oh, I thought that was Derek Chauvin. That's so sick. That's a cute kid. That's so sick. When did you do this?

Two months ago? A couple. Yeah, I forget. Sorry, I spilled the beans on that one, Fetti. Oh, that's okay. That was bad. I felt horrible. We went in and edited it.

It was bad No, I appreciate that Come on You took a dead Zero chance I just did all this work to get there I will fucking Kidnap you bitch

It's your girl Your girls Maybe see I wasn't gonna I wasn't gonna get I was gonna Your girl's making you stay Nobody's thing

Oh Dude I just got my visa Five year visa I just got my visa So funny Oh well you have to stay For five years In a place it sucks

You're not in jail Bitch Just having a visa Doesn't mean you're in jail I'll get an apartment, I'll be fine. Just come back. There's no chance.

What do you mean? I just started. Just deep it up there once. What could happen that would entice you? What would be the scenario where you'd go, I have to move to Austin.

Let's come up with it. I got one. I got a year. I got one. I got one. I got one. I would come back if here we go.

I'd get a free apartment somewhere. Oh. Wait, keep it? No, I'm joking. I'm not, I'm staying there, dude. I'm not a good time. It has to be something.

What are you doing? The food sucks. The weather sucks. The food's amazing. Food's actually great. The weather's great. The weather's great. The food sucks.

I like great. Global Warwick has been awesome. Some of the best Indian food I've ever had in my life. Oh my God. I do. I've been around the world ten times of cuisine. All right. All right.

Sunday. Sunday has some phenomenal restaurants. They roll it up early over there. I did a show out there for like a month and you can't get food after like nine. It's early. They do end early because they all day drink. All right. They all day drink.

What's the scenario? I day drink? I like late night food. Dude, I love your enthusiasm. You got that right. I'll come back a lot. Honestly, this is the only thing going to be back.

Come on, let's do it once a month. You're unhappy. It would be the scenario. You look terrible. You look bad. You look terrible. I have had a rough go of it.

As I said before, you look like a homeless guy that got cleaned up. I've had a rough goal of it. She hates it, right? She hates it. Come on America. Come back here. Your wife needs a cowboy hat.

All right, you look good, by the way. I bet she likes it more. I saw you. I was like, you look good. I know, I need to lose at least a stone. Why? No! How dare you? You son of a bitch.

You son of a bitch. Guys gotta go to the Lou. There's no reason for you to be over there. The World Cup run was so fun. They made an executive order to keep pubs open late so we could party. How about that? We do that every night. We left at 5 a.m.

I got a compromise. The Mexico game ruled. It was so fun. How about I fly you out every two months? Every two months, come do the club, hang out, have a good time. Free. You just come. That's possible.

Come on, Jewface. What do you mean that? We have a condo. He's doing something incredibly nice. We also have a condo at the club condo no one's using during the week. The club is amazing. It's pretty dope. We have a sick condo.

So you can use that during the week. And your girl will be happy. I got to set. She's sleeping in a barn right now. Once every couple months, you have a free vacation to Austin. Oh. This is an intervention, dude. I got flights.

Right. You just can hang out. Wait until January. Let me tell you to talk. You can a fucking hate it. I am trying to stamp my American flag on England soil. They don't want it. They're pushing you out there.

Look, Hicks already did it. Leary already did it. Let it go. Patrice. Patrice. Yeah. Patrice did it. I forgot Patrice did it.

How'd they turn out? Great. Yeah. Patrice died of Snickers. That's what I'm saying. Wait, what did you say? Patrice died of a Snickers. Oh, I heard something else.

You don't need it. No, it's going to be fun. You need to be around in the comics. Yeah, it's going to be awesome. I actually genuinely do support it. I really, I don't like you enough to be like I hope he comes back. It's fun. I get pushed back from crowds.

It's actually like really good for me. Interesting. Top Secret. What are you doing? Top Secret. Every couple months. And this way you get to see. good and suck, good and suck,

and you keep living in the sock, and eventually, like, what am I doing? I'm 58 years old. You know what you can go back and move to the next place? Shane moved to here, he goes, I think I moved to Austin, and I was like, dude, it's April. You got to wait until July.

He didn't wait. If you have this conversation in December, you might get me. Listen, pussy. Just getting us on every day. It doesn't mean shit. I was outside in the shooting arrows for two hours today.

I don't feel a thing. I don't give a fuck. It's 100 degrees. Who cares? Drink water. It doesn't mean anything. It's pretty hot. Everywhere here. Just getting a sauna.

I'm in New York now, too. It's hot as fuck. Humid. He's multi-city. Do you understand this? You can be multi-city too. It hasn't raped once in two months. You can be multi-city for free.

Both have more of these. I'm giving you an opportunity to be multi-city for free. Dude, I got to get set there. I want to say something to these people. What you said? I want to say something. You have nothing to say. I'm going to tell you how to live your life.

Shut the fuck. I got a vasectomy and a dog. Shut the fuck up. I don't have anything to say. Who fuck has something to say? How the fuck do you have something to say? I don't have anything to say. I have the number one podcast in the world.

I don't have a thing to say to people. You've said it. I don't have shit to say to people. It happens. It happens. But I don't ever say I have something to say. What do you want to tell the people of England? America's way better than you.

Well, then come back. I don't know. Come back. They already know. You're Shafir Starmer. You bomb Gaza. Free Palestine. You need to go on stage every night with a free Palestine t-shirt.

When I go there because there's a lot of free Palestine there and I'm like, but you guys, you controlled it before Israel. You could have done it. Oh, you could have done it. Shut up. England had to sit and all this time. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Stop covering out for your country's action. It's so funny. You put a better in the jungle. Why don't you put a box on your head, faggot? He killed in the jungle He was great in South America I was having a great time in the worst hospital So I got to England

I can't hack it You live the jungle on fire Legitimate I take a 13 hour buses I'm rolling with it fine And then I got to England They're like Just make it hard for fucking immigrants

Well it's hilarious you tell me They kicked out of Nicaragua They kicked me out of Nicaragua They kicked him out of Nicaragua They thought he was a fucking press guy Because of you Because of my relation to you Nicaragua please

They looked me up Like what's his Hogan Now we're rolling. Let's go, let's go. They were calling and looking, Googling me. I'm like, don't put in Joe and Ari. I'm fucked.

As soon as he was like, what's this experience saying? I'm like, I'll leave. Patrice O'Neill's a Nicaragua. Oh, you son of a bitch. That was a hard G. That was a hard G. That was a hard G. That's a great country.

He's a great comic. Ari, could you hit me one of those? Ari, every two months, free. Let's go! We've got to start in the winter, but I'm... Okay, can I say this? Your lady's gonna love it. Thursday night show, Ari and Friends.

We have air conditioning here. That'll pay for all your expenses. All right, what about this? Okay. What about September 4th? Yeah. Kanye? In Chicago.

Wait, that's like two weeks from now. Ah, fuck, you're such a bitch. That's a month from now. It's a six-hour flight, dude. I thought it was nothing. Today's August 12th. I thought you said it was nothing. I just fired apart.

Yeah, okay, I'm in. Okay, never mind. Okay, now you're not invited. Fuck you're a shitbag apartment with lukewarm water. If it's direct flight to Chicago, I'm in. Did they even let you fucking take showers over there? Bro, honestly, I have had diarrhea for five months from a parasite I got in Brazil. I'm not having a great time.

Why don't you take Ivermectin? How's the blood clinton? Yeah, I'm in. It's an antiparacetical. Hey, can I tell you this? When I went, when I got whatever, COVID for the first time, I contacted somebody. I was in Florida. You're like, perfect.

They got monoclonal, something like that. Monoclonal antibodies. And then I was like, I called somebody, I was like, hey, they're like, you should take Ivermectin, and I was like, I already have some. They're like, okay, it comes in fours or eights. And I was like, well, I have sixes. And I was like, they were like, where did you get six milligrams? And I was like, my friend. And they're like, what?

Where'd you get six milligram ones? I'm getting the numbers on, but they were like, I was in my friend. I was like, is his name Joe? And I was like, yeah. I had boxes of it. I bought it from India. I literally bought like a case of Ivermectin. You get a $1.

You get a billion for two nickels. Dude, I still have it. Yeah. I still have boxes of Ivermectin. You're like my parents with flour. I was there during COVID and I was like, you guys like get all this flower like oh no there's a tail like two months ago. Yeah, me.

The crazy thing is I was right. You got, you got fucked up now. You got, you got fucked up now. I was right. Wait, would Ivermectin clear my parasite? A hundred percent. That's what it's for. Not even from India.

It's an anti-parasidical. I mean, I don't know if it's the one to clear up whatever the fuck you have. What you should get is checked out by a doctor. But meanwhile, over there, you have to wait for a fucking year for a doctor. It ain't great here either. What are you talking about? It's free there, right? What?

It's free over there, at least. Yeah, I got to get on it. You can go into an urgent. I'll send you to my doctor. It'll take you three seconds to get in. What? What are we talking about? Do it then.

Don't talk about it, too. Why don't you tell me? Why don't you just tell me you have parasites? I'll hook you up. Wait, are we curing diarrhea now? I'll cure diarrhea. I don't cure diarrhea. I don't cure diarrhea.

I don't cure diarrhea. I don't have a dog. I don't get one log in five months. Damn, don't get in a hot tub. You need to eat only meat. I'll try that. No, that gives you nothing but diarrhea. Yeah, yeah.

No, in the beginning. Yeah, and after a while, your body adjusts. We did the carnivore diet, me and Matt. We did it for a month. Well, the first couple weeks are disturbing. I was delirious. We'd go on stage. Me and that were backstage, I was like, bro, I can't think, dude.

We were both like, dude, I've never been more tired in my life. Yeah, I miss it. I haven't even had diarrhea. I miss it. It's nothing? Water. Oh, no. The only thing that holds me back, it was the grossest.

That's bad. The only thing that holds me back from the carnivore diet is the guinea and me. The guinea and me just wants spaghetti and pasta and pizza. Last night I had a steak and cheese. Steak and cheese. What is that local company? These guys have a food truck in Austin. Oh, the steely guys.

So legit. They have a truck? A pasta truck? No, a Philly cheese steak trucked. Oh, I've gotten it. It's so good. It's so good. their cheese steaks are so fucking legit.

They're Jersey and Philly. What is it, Jamie? What is it? I don't know. You got to use a microphone, buddy. R&Bs, I don't know. I think that actually is it. Yes. See if you can find it. Because I think that's it. I know I follow them.

There it is. There it is. Bro. Oh, yeah, I've eaten there. I'm telling you it is some. I've eaten it. It's okay to feel good. Shane can speak on this because you're a Philly guy, but those dudes. And they came to the green room last night. It's the fucking phenomenal.

steak and cheese. All right. Chris and Boo. It's hard to find one around here. That's a good one. But it's phenomenal. Just the right amount of spice to it. I'm telling you, these guys, they do it right.

And they know what they're doing. They know what they're doing. And they're young guys, and they're cool as fuck. They brought it to the green room last night. We all had some. They bring in like a case of them to the green room. They're so good. You can't get that in England.

I could need it before I went on stage. You go in there hungry and you're like, please be something to the right. I know. There's a box of birds. There's 80 hamburgers. It's another thing to entice up. Oh, we have seven. Another thing to entice you.

If you are ever at the club and you want something, all you have to do is just ask and they will deliver it. Whatever you want. You want steaks from Eddie B's. When you're at that club, you feel like Oprah. You just like reach out and somebody puts whatever you want in your hand. It's like tissue or a fucking tea or anything. You get a slider.

You get a slider. Whatever you want, just ask for it and you get it. Can I say at minimum, the best is just. Hey, pour your own drinks. You're a fucking adult. There's just a bunch of mixtures. Go do whatever. Oh, the drinks at the bar?

Yeah. Well, we, I wanted it. It's so obvious. I don't want to bother a bartender. Just let me, I know it's free. You don't want a tip. But there's that. Fair.

You got me on that one. There's that, too. If you want a margarita, you can ask for a margarita. That's true. You can't make a mark? Whatever you want. If you want a pizza and a margarita, they'll get it to you in 20 minutes. Damn.

Whatever the fuck you want. Whatever you need. There's a pizza place right next door. They'll just get your pizza. They'll come back. Bro. Somebody give me a... It's not the best.

It's not the best. I've legitimately seen homeless people turn down slices from there. It's not even a lie. They go, no, dude, nah. Yeah. Rapolos. I thought about buying that place. Yeah, bury it.

I thought about buying it and putting in a legit high-level pizza place. Put in a vomatorium instead. It'll be better for the community. Sixth Street is. a fucking vomitory. Ugh. It's the best. I love it.

It's like it. You got security out there. Yeah, but it's also, it's like, I love being in the middle of the shit. Uh-huh. Ugh. It's part of why I like putting that club there. It's funny.

You're in there. It's an oasis. It helps the rest of the neighborhood. It really does. Because it brings in a bunch of people that are there to have a good time. They're spending money. The pizza place is probably

killing it because of that. The Mexican joint next door is probably killing it because of the club. I like getting drunk on Sixth Street. The fucking food trucks are the move, dude. The food trucks on 6th Street are incredible. No, fifth and fourth is where they're good. Seventh.

Seventh. That's a great one. Over by the creek. On the way to the creek, there's some fucking kids. Oh, right across there. There's a burger place that's legit as fuck up there. Taco House. If you want diarrhea, if you already got a parasite, look no further than Taco House.

So where did you get a parasite in Brazil? I think my last day, street meat. Drinking river water, you motherfucker. Here we got the lettuce. Everybody's saying the lettuce is bad here. What are you doing with your fingers? You know, whatever this says. The best is the lettuce.

Is this the new side language? Every time I open Twitter, it's like, we got a new anal parasite. Yeah, lettuce is not good for you. She'd eat only meat. I knew it. Carnivore dial. I've always known best. Let's go.

Let's go. Let us break you up. I was in Italy, and I ate so much that I almost died. It's better over there. You can eat bread in Italy. You can, but you can only eat so much. Then you push yourself. If you push yourself to the glet.

I got more. Me with pizza is like Shane with beer. I can get to a strange point where you're like, there's no way a human can really consume that much pizza. You're not going to fucking fetch a guy after. You're not going to rick at Tony. Don't talk about your mom like that. She's in a wheelchair, God damn. It's his dad now.

Perfect. But watch out. Perfect. She can't run. He's Larry Flint. Watch out. Wait, your mom's in a wheelchair? What?

Your mom's in a wheelchair. Recently. I hit up my car. I thought they were in too hard. No disrespect for James Gendellino. Sorry for you. If she's in a wheelchair.

No, no, no. She's got a bum leg. James Gandolphini and I were dealing very different digestive systems. She's been dead for 30 years. Yeah, I can consume some. I can consume some. That wasn't the girl that got changed.

That was the Coke. That was the Role. The Coke and the booze. What are you talking about? He ate like 17, oysters. And then did Coke. Oh, is it Coke? Oh, he did a ton of coke.

He drank and did Coke. Oh, his list of the menu is, his receipt is on the internet. I've seen the receipt. No, he did a ton of Coke. It's actually not that crazy. It's like lobster claws. It's everything. Everything you want in life.

Like, the guy was living the right. He rules. I don't think you should have died young because it would have been awesome to see him be alive. Yeah. But fuck that guy did it. When Joe started making money, he had to have intervention. His business manager and his manager, they're like, Dude, you have a gambling addiction.

You're just getting started your career. You can't let gambling get. He's like, I don't gamble. He's like, five bucks on pool once in a while. Like, dude, clearly, we've looked your finances. How are you spending this much? He goes, oh, I eat lobster every day. Bro.

When I first got my development deal, I was eat lobster and steak every night. And I was taking my boys out. I was like, let's go. I would treat everybody. You're like a rapper. I had $150,000 and I was 25 years old. This is the craziest thing. And I was poor.

my whole life. And I was like, let's go. Sussman was like, I think you have a gambling problem. Like, what? Because he knew I was playing pool every night. I was like, no, I'm right with that. Because Susser would never spend that much on record is tough. I'm like, bro, I'm living like a ball. I think Tim Dillon's like that.

He's, the food and the jets are his thing. Yeah, but he's rich. I was not really rich. I had $150,000. You are a fresh out of college. First job, rich. Barely went to college. I was a dumb ass.

I was a dumb ass with an enormous amount of money for no reason. Damn, you're on TV. Because I was boy pretty at 25. Hardball? Yeah, that was hardball days. And so, like, I just spent, I was like, look, my thought was like, if this goes away, I should make the most out of it. Fuck, like, portioning it off so I could live okay for fucking 15 years.

Fuck that. Let's go. Did anyone ever try to suck you in Hollywood? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You never got to buy to a pool party? No, one comedian, but it was at Montreal. A comedian at Montreal, I literally had to tell him I was going to stomp a hole in his chest.

What? Big Jay. He kept touching me. He kept touching me and hitting me. He was drunk and kept touching me. And I was like, hey, you touch me more time on a stomp a fucking hole in your chest. No way. Yeah.

Yeah, it got gross. Because it was like two in the morning was one of those deals. And it was at the Montreal Comedy Festival. It was a gay comedian who's been like hyper-acgressive. Is he still working? I don't really remember his last name. Hmm. No, no.

Oh, okay. No, it wasn't him. But he's, that was the thing with him, too. You think about a Boston comic? He got beat up by a guy in Hawaii, that guy. Yeah. Got beat up by a guy in Hawaii. And Domarero was like, what happened to you?

And he's like, oh, some guy beat me up. And he's like, oh, what the fuck? That's terrible. And then he goes, and then I got the whole story. He got a little lit. He just hit on a regular guy. Dude, that guy would be in the back when there was a, a new, like, 21-year-old door guy was on stage.

He was just be in the back going, like... To me, that was, like, the first time that I ever felt, like, a... Well, it wasn't... I didn't feel like a woman because I could kill the guy. So there was a thing... But it was also, like, the thing about, like, a man being aggressive sexually towards you where you didn't... There was, like, there's not a chance you're going to convince me

that I don't want to go upstairs with you. Like, this is crazy. But it was the aggressiveness of it that I was like, ooh, this has got to be awful. So weird because a gay guy can just go get laid so easily. Not in Canada. I mean, this is in the 90s in Canada. But they want.

They got gay bars. Some guy tried to jerk me off in the back of a bus in Vietnam. Tried? How far did he get? He touched my dick. I was like, dude, no. Actually, under the pants? Not over the pants.

Oh, I had a guy who gave me a stroke in a party bus once. Really? In high school, I was getting blown by a party bus. And a guy when I just gave me like a full handoff. Wait a minute. How did he get the girl's face away from your cock? He said something, and she went, huh? And then he grabbed my dick and did like a stroke over there.

He fucked him, jukeed her. Wait, a minute this story? I was on a party bus in high school. Remember those party buses? Yeah, of course. And we put all our money to go. We ran out of party bus. Can I bar your sunglasses?

Blown by a lady in the back of the bus, like Rosa Parks. And he said something, and she popped her head up, and he gave me a full stroke. Wow. And I was like, oh, and I pushed him. And then was like, that. That was weird, and then she went back. He was like, I don't care. Was he doing, is it a goof?

It was a goof. It was a goof. It was a goof. What if he fucking, what if you popped at that moment? Strugging your boy, midhead is. You're hard. You're hard and I touched you. What if she was blowing you when you were on the edge and this guy gave you a stroke?

And you were like a broken fire hydrant. Just blew. No. The ceiling. The walls. The windows. It's a different time. That was normal back then.

Gay humor was fun. He's a Marine now, that guy. Yeah, obviously. You sure he's not in the Navy? Yeah. Yeah, boy, I remember those broke days. One time I did a club, you ever do the funny farm in Youngstown, Ohio? I did not.

It was a real shitbox. Tony was a door guy there. Was it the place that was connected to a club? He was. Yes. And the hotel was horrific. It was connected. I did do it.

The hotel's connected to a club. The comedy club is connected to a, like, a night club. And then the late show, the fucking. music plays. Yes. That was it. That was it. It's impossible.

You're on stage. It's like, what does this have to do with guys, Jack? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get back to the real. That's not talking about the clubs. That's not talking about the

shitty clubs. Let's talk about you getting stroked by guys. Oh, all right. Well, yeah. The guy jerked me off. Was that the only other time? All the way? No, no.

Just one pump. The same guy. Same story. Yeah, I'm going back to the story. If it keeps happening, you got to go, hey. This is habitual. This is habitual.

This is odd. One stroke. This is odd. They keep coming up. Keep getting stroked. But yeah, the funny farm, one of my first headlining gigs, you know, was three people in the audience. But the guy goes, the owner goes, hey, you want a meal?

I was like, oh, my God, I want a meal, of course. And he goes, get the swordfish. It's amazing. You got to get the swordfish. I was like, oh, my God, swordfish. The swordfish in the hung cell in Ohio. She's been a truck for a month. Yeah.

That's crazy. But, you know, when you're broken, It's exotic. You're like, oh my God, I got to have this. And I was like, okay, thanks. And he goes, there's a great wine and pairs well with the sorfrey because it was attached to a club kind of restaurant thing. So I was like, oh, all right.

And I drank like, you know, bottle and a half of wine, swordfish, a couple beers. And he gave me the bill. Oh, no. And I didn't know. No, he was charging me. No fucking way. I was getting paid like $400 for the weekend. The bill was like $3.80.

Yeah. Oh. What? Those were the days. So why did you think it was free? Because the owner is going, hey, get this. He was upselling me on shit. Oh, wow.

Yeah, I got fucked. So he just didn't want to pay you. I bet that was a can. He didn't want to pay you. Because he's not even giving you a discounted rate for the meals? No, no half off. And you were performing that night? That's crazy.

Yeah, the whole weekend. Diaz, I was going to Jacksonville. I was like, what the fuck, man? I didn't know it was free. And he's like, free. It's swordfish. And so how did it play out? It's cost $1,000.

play out. I had to pay the guy and then he, you know, gave me a check for 400 bucks at the end of the weekend. But the swordfish shit was like 300 bucks? And the whole weekend was 400 bucks? Yeah, yeah. It was dark time. What a scumbag. So many scummy owners. I mean, everybody's got those stories with a, what's that one story? I think it's a Joe List story where he tried to get paid and the guy just put a gun on the table and he's like,

all right, I'll see you later. Oh, I had a guy who I worked for. Same thing, yeah. Who didn't pay me. And then when he did pay me, he was a mob guy. When he did pay me, he paid me quite a bit less. And I said, what the fuck? I said, this is not what I was supposed to get.

He goes, you should be kind of happy with what you're getting. Oh, there you go. And I was like, all right, we're done. All right. I took the money. I was like, all right, guess I'm never working here again. And he calls me up. Try to get me to work at the club.

I go, the last time you fucked me. He told me, he's like, come on. I would have worked there again in a second. Yeah. I did funny for him last week. This same guy. He's going to fucking be. It was in New Haven, Connecticut.

It was tax for it. The same guy. I saw him beat a guy with his shoe. Whoa! He pulled his shoe off and, you know, like those slippery, like, nice dress shoes. What? Yeah, so it's got the leather with the wood, the wooden heel. He's beating the guy in the face with his fucking shoe.

There's blood all over his shirt. It was crazy. Ooh, Shoo Jitsu. Same guy. That's crazy. So this guy was like, okay. Was that Joker's wild? Yep.

I know that club. Yeah. That was very mob run. I did that one, too. I got the sword. New Haven's a wild place. New Haven's a wild place. New Haven, Connecticut is it.

wild place. Good pizza, bad. A lot of Italians. Lot of Italians. Some of the best fucking pizza on Earth. Pepe's. Like Dave Portnoy, when he talks about pizza, he's like talks about New Haven-style pizza. Sally's? Oh, there's too many. Frank Pepe's. Yeah. One of my best friends.

One of my best friends. Tommy Jr. He's from. Tommy Jr. Tommy Jr. Yeah. I love Tommy Jr. and just like, I'll take it. And I'm just not going to work. What are you going to do? Yeah. Well, that's what I did with that guy. I never worked there again. He tried to get me to work there again. And then he tried to get get me to work there after I'd been on news radio.

I'm like, bro. It's over. And you want to go, hey, I'm a half a whopping fucking didn't pay me, man. You didn't fucking pay me. Yeah. That's crazy. And also, you beat a guy with a shoe.

What was the scenario there? I don't remember. I think the guy was heckling and he was drunk. That's awesome. I don't want to say his name. This dude just pulled his fucking shoe off. He just beating this guy in the face with the heel of his shoe. I remember thinking, I never would have thought of that.

But I never wear shoes. like that. I wear shoes that like lace up, but he just he slipped that thing right off of his foot and use it as a weapon. I mean the heel on that is rock hard. Oh, it's a fucking piece of wood. Yeah. You know, he beat the guy's nose. He beat him on the nose with the heel. Yeah, just grab the tip of the toe

and just fucking whack, whack! And blood was everywhere. It was spraying off. His shirt was white and it was a splatter blood all over. The guy was being out, oh, we're not allowed to laugh. And then he had to run from the cops. Sorry, I got kicked out for laughing through that. I was helping. I was helping. I was helping. He's just helping this show.

I was laughing too about. What's the Chappelle thing? I think it was the same thing. Oh, yeah. Like, literally he came into the guy's office, and he was, like, young and, like, where the fuck's my money, man? And they put a gun on the table. Yeah. We'll figure it out.

Right. Yeah, I guess we will. Well, that's Richard Pryor in one of his specials. I mean, it must happen. It happens. It happens. Like, he fucked me. I think it was like...

I wouldn't even notice if I got fucked. But I knew how. much I was supposed to get. It wasn't a lot of money. I was nobody. They gave me 300 bucks. Right. Brow's nobody back then.

Also, it was like one of the worst clubs to work. In terms of like like crowd control, there was zero. Zero. Everybody was nuts. What about what about that Chinese place in Massachusetts? You remember that place? You know, people just go out, they were eating inside. They were wrapping up their food while you're on.

Somebody comes on stage and like the Calloon? The Calhoun? Yeah. No, it wasn't a Caloon. It was the place in Western Massachusetts, right? Yeah. Yeah. It was the place like,

way out in the middle of nowhere. We only did one show there. They just come on stage and be like, we're getting a selfie. I think it's a blooming right place. Yeah, there's a blooming right gig. One of the ways again, too.

Don't leave. We're all just gone. Me and Norman are hanging strong. Hell yeah. What are you talking about, bro? I have two beers. How dare you? This is my second one.

I had a beer. Oh my God, you had two cups? I had two beers and a... And a part of a whiskey. That fucking nicotine knocked me down for a minute. They'll get you. They said the C on that one.

Huh? He said the C on that one instead of the G. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Cut that. I was in the green room of a place once, in the office, rather, a place once, and we were getting paid.

And was me and this kid, his name was, I forget his last name, his name was Brian. He was a big guy, like a huge guy. And he was blonde, and you'd never think he was Jewish. He didn't look Jewish. And the owner of the club said something,

like to the, In the, like, I don't want to, like, I'm not trying to Jew you down. Yeah. And he went crazy. He lost him. He went crazy and started screaming at this guy, fuck, yay, you're fucking anti-Semitic. Because he didn't realize this guy was Jewish because Brian Frazier. Right.

And he was, like, he was jacked, like, way bigger than me. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, what are I going to do here? Like, I don't want my friend to kill this guy. Yeah. And also, not much I can do. Yeah. He's trying to get paid here, buddy.

He's trying to get paid. and like it was just an expression that people would use like, I don't know what it's from, but they don't mean it like that. Yeah, we use that all the time. It's just a term. It's like a jip. You don't think of gypsies when you say it. You're like, that's a root word.

You're like, that's fine. I didn't realize that. It's weird with this like certain nationalities we could completely make fun of them and it's no issue at all. Uh-huh. Like to stop being a guinea. Like no one cares. What is that? Like wearing gold chains.

Look at you. You look like a guinea. Like wearing gold chains and a tank top. It doesn't matter. It didn't. And they were lynched. My grandfather's day did. My grandfather told me horror stories about him being an immigrant from Italy and what he had

to deal with going to school here in America and in New Jersey. It's crazy. It's crazy to think of anti-Polish, anti-Irish, anti-Italian. It's so specific racism. So everyone has to be Anglo, I guess, from England? Like what is the criteria to not get beat up? It was the thing that was like people that were coming from these Latin countries. People that were coming from Mexico, coming from Puerto Rico, people that are coming from Italy.

You know, the countries that were initially Latin countries, brown people. And Italians were thought of as brown people. Yeah, but Irish aren't brown. It was Irish need not apply. Yeah, but they were like poor and there were lower class. They were the people that were like working in fucking factories and working on the docks. It's crazy to have that as your racism. Whites on whites?

I know. Whites on whites. A lot of Irish people were slaves. Yeah, yeah. Hey. Right? Talk to it, Gillis. That level of drinking.

You want to tell, you want to tell. We were slaves. Usually a couple more beers. You know the Irish. We was kings. Well, you wanted to tell white people back then, like, it's going to get worse. Like, if you're mad at this Irish guy, buckle up. One day, they're not even going to read your scripts.

Yeah, you're going to hear like a... Man-la-la-la-la! Coming soon. I'm just saying. Man, I'm watching... I don't know what it is. Once I had a kid, I got way into history. I don't know why.

I'm obsessed with history now. Well, I'm watching all these presidential documents on Netflix. They're unbelievable. Yeah, president's rule. By the way, Ulysses S. Grant's my guy. I'm in love with this guy. He's the... Well, you know he went to West Point.

So, Derek. I think I've said this on the show. I talk about Grant Give me some music, Jamie. I love Grant. Grant rules. What do you say about it? I'll talk about Grant all day.

Well, one cool thing was, you know, during the war. He was a big general. And they would go, hey, what is this song? She doesn't have to have a headphone song, God damn. Is it Iceman? I was in the middle of the story here. What about Grant? We had to give him some music for his child.

All right. So Grant was that, like, big general. If I hear somebody else talking about Grant, I get jealous and mad. He went to West Point. He went to college with a bunch of other guys who all got put into the war. A lot of them were Confederate. So they'd be like, we've got to go

beat up, we've got to go kill a bunch of people with this fort in Georgia, and he's like, who's the head guy over there? And they'd go, whatever, Sherman. And he'd go, I went to school that guy. He's a pussy. We can take him. So he knew everybody. So he'd be like, oh, I play ball with that guy. He's a bitch. We can kill him.

How crazy is that? Like, he knew everybody. It's exactly what happened to Mark. You're exactly right. That shit rocks. Amazing. It's like my favorite thing about Grant. I mean...

You want to know some other cool things about Grant. Please. We could talk Grant all day. He was kind of a loser for a while. He was a loser. He was tried every farming, all this shit. Well, the big thing for him was after West Point, he went and fought in Mexico. Mexican War.

Yes. He was a great cavalryman, and he fought under Robert E. Exactly. And he saw... Against whom? Against the Mexicans and the Spans. Oh, America gets maxed out. Yeah.

Oh, okay, okay. But he found out that he remembers seeing Robert Ely being like nervous before battle, which he's going to keep that with him the rest of his life. But after the war, he gets sent out west because there's no war. He's just, he's just at a post. He misses his babe. He comes to the demon rum. He's drinking.

Yeah, he had a problem. And he gets kicked out of the army for being a drunk. Goes home. Freeze his slaves while he has zero dollars. That's true. He married into slaves. His family, he came from abolitionist parents, but he married into his wife. Her family had slaves.

When he gets home, he's like... Wait, wait, wait, you left out apart. He would free the slaves and he would bring him down to the courthouse. And they go, dude, you can get like $2,000 bucks for this guy. And he was like, no, no, no, let him go. I was getting to it. Oh, sorry. Then he frees the slaves.

Come on, man, this is like the worth, this is worth like a house. Yeah, yeah. And then. Then he works at his dad's general store. His father-in-law's general store. He's working as a fucking clerk at a general store. He's like, this guy's a bum. When the war breaks out, he is a fucking clerk.

He's working a register at a store. When the war breaks out. By the end of the war, he's controlling the entire Union Army. Exactly. Within four years. That becomes president. He's working the fucking register. at a grocery store.

It's like a St. Louis Cardle's quarterback story. It's incredible. It really is the fucking man. And he was great on a horse. So he took the world by storm because he went out to the middle of the battlefield and did the thing where he goes on the side of the horse. That was in Mexico. He definitely didn't do that in the Civil War.

He did the side of the horse like the natives? He went on the side of the horse so they couldn't shoot him. And then he popped up and killed a bunch of people. I mean, the guy was a complete badass. He was the man. And then just thinking all those young guys who volunteered. You got to think of these old wars. They don't just have to fight.

They have to go to a place. I went to Fort something on Saturday. No way. I was standing there. No way. That's crazy. I was a civil war. Wow.

Do you know how bored people must have been back then? They were like, just put me in war. To care that much. To care that much. Well, there was that, but there's always that. And there's down and out. That's literally every war. Every war.

Every single guy, not all of them now, but like, it's always been like, it's going to be adventure. Like in all quiet on the western front. And it was something that they looked. forward to, like, romantically because the way their grandparents talked about it and their fathers talked about, when people talked about war back then, it was a responsibility, a duty. Totally. A man, a man stood up for his country. And also, the country was so young.

I know. Yeah, you're really fighting for something. Country was a hundred years old. A lot of guys would desert, too. Not even. A hundred years old, right? It's sick of that, 1776. It's 100 years old.

That's so recent. FDR had, what, four sons? They all went to war. So he's like, ah, shit, I'm starting a war with Germany. I got to put my money where my mouth is. You're sending your troops. I'll send my four sons to war. Wow.

And then, you know, some died. Jesus. Stalin did that. Stalin had a... Well, he's a psycho. He had a policy of like... Dude, you made me read that book on Stalin. It's the worst book ever.

I started reading it. I got maybe a chapter in. It's the worst book of all time. I can't do it. That's worse than Andy Jacobson. It's the worst. It's called Bloodlands. It's about the Eastern Front. It's the worst... Against the Nazis? It's the Nazis and the Soviets. And what happened to, like, Belarus and Ukraine and...

Oof, madone. Oh, they starved people. Yeah, Ukraine was... The Holomador was one of the worst things that's ever happened. So, is communism the gayest shit ever? Of course. Somebody needs to look into how gay communism. But isn't it crazy that it's making a comeback? Yeah. It always does. It's a cycle. The problem is if we cannot call communism if we get free health care.

That would be a good move. That would help a lot. We're calling everybody communists. Socialist communist. Free health care is cool. Yeah. We should have that. It's normal.

That's not communism. We should have health care and education. You should treat the entire country like it's a community. If you have a community, would you want the sickest person to fucking die who could be very valuable if you could like take care of them? And do you have the resources to take care of them? Of course you should. We're a rich country. Exactly.

You do with libraries. Exactly. This is the problem with capitalism. We don't feel like a community. This is the reason why people turn on all these billionaires. They turn on them because why do you have so much when people have so little? But it's because it's the game. It's the game that they're playing.

And you're playing the game too. You're just not playing it at that level. But again, these rich people pay a lot and give a lot of services. But yeah, there's that. But also the services, the amount of money that they get is all going to corrupt people that are funneling into their own bank account. That's the problem with all. There's too many nonprofits and NGOs and you know you find out that the homeless people that are running the nonprofits in L.A., like somebody just sent me like, here, I'll send it to you, Jamie.

I got to get that Marshall Rogan calling. It's so crazy when you look at the amount of money that is being paid to the people that run the homeless divisions. It's like it's fucking bananas. Like it's crazy. It's insane amounts of money. Yeah, we're in a tough spot. The hobos are way up. The CEO of the homeless thing in L.A. made $1.6 million in the last two years.

Wow. And the president makes $200 grand? And you're doing a bad job. And you're also doing a bad job. You're also not, there's no way someone could justify you getting a raise. There's no way someone could justify you getting that salary when you're objectively failing. Yeah. But then you want to, people want higher minimum wage and stuff, but I'm like, that's not going to do it.

Well, higher minimum wage is not the worst thing in the world. No, I'm not against. I'm just saying that's like to solve everything. Well, it won't solve everything. It won't solve everything. It won't solve everything. But if you knew. if you were a person that had a lot of money

and you knew that if you paid more taxes it was going to go to make everybody feel better the world would be better the education would be better people would have food you would have free health care schools that have nutritious meals L.A shelter provider has paid CEO who lives in Hawaii

$1.6 million in salary and vacation over two years that's bananas two years that's that is literally insane so that's a slush fund that's not that's not someone doing it because they care That's someone doing it because it's very profitable. And it's a slush fund.

And this is why they tried so hard to keep Spencer Pratt from being the mayor of L.A. Because he wanted to expose all that shit. You know, and they mock him and make fun of him. And I did too. Until you talk to him, you're like, oh, he's actually a very smart guy. And he's really well read in this stuff. He really understands what he's talking about. Yeah, they try to write him off.

Well, also, reality star. Also, you know, oh, he's a grifter. But he's actually, they're all grifters. That person's a grifter. They're all grifters. Everyone's making a shit load of money. pretending they care and not doing any good. No one is fixing anything.

The thing keeps getting worse. It is what getting worse. Everything's getting worse. They spent $24 billion on the homeless problem in California, and it only got worse. And then when they tried to do an audit, Newsom vetoed it. He wouldn't let them do an audit. Because everyone's taking their peace.

Everyone's getting paid. So Grant gets a hold of the army in the West. And he starts making some noise out there. Lincoln's going, I got a bunch of these generals out east. They're scared. They're all scared of Robert Ely. They got fucking McClellan. McClellan's a bum.

He's afraid to move forward. Robert Ely was a good general. Unbelievable. Okay. I'm from the South. I'm not about a condoing, but he wasn't a good general. We'll fast forward. Eventually they go, this guy's been going nuts out on the West.

Let's bring him in. And then he immediately was like, I remember Robert Ely. He was just as scared as I am. I'm not afraid of him. Everybody in the North was afraid of Robert Lee. They're like, this guy's a genius. just, he's going to fuck us up. Grant was the one guy that was like, he's just as afraid as I am.

Also, we got more guys. We can turn this into a war of attrition real quick. Let's see who loses more guys quickly or quicker. And he just, he attacks. It's wonderful. It's unbelievable. And then General Sherman, his boy. So they're boys.

Sherman and Grant are boys. And Sherman has a nice quote. He was like, I helped out Grant when he was drunk. Grant helped me when I was crazy. were boys forever. Sherman's like, bro, let me get an army. Let me just march south and just fuck them up. So these were

the only two guys also that treated the South like, these are traitors. Wow. Like the guys like McClellan, all these other guys, they were like, these are gentlemen, Robert Ely's a gentleman, all this. Sherman and Grant were like, yo, fuck these guys.

They're traitors. They should be hung for what they're doing, dude. They're trying to leave the United States. Can you imagine? Robert Lee won. It wasn't that far off. It was. We let them.

The North had kid gloves on. You think? I mean, they lost a lot of guys, too. We lost a lot of guys. We lost more than them. But even Shelby Foote, who's a famed Southern historian, was like, the North was fighting with one-arm. What's that, Jamie? Really?

This fucking badass sword. Is that at Hinchcliff's house? So, he was given this sword when he took over the Federal Army and 1864. It's been sold at auction, though, recently. Just four grand. How much? The last time it sold, it was...

Five million. No, it wasn't that much. It's four grand in gold, but it's warm. Really? It was not that much. Yeah, I have Sherman's map when he marched through South Carolina with his pencil market.

How'd you get it? Francis Ellis gave me it. What? Try I own a lady that who comes over. I do. I do. That was only 1.6 million? Are you going to kill me?

And I go, here's my O.J. Simpson rushing trophy. And now we're going to kill you. He's definitely going to kill me. That was only one. Jamie has O.J. Simpson's golf clubs. What? Well, me and Jamie were in the same auction. I got his rushing trophy.

I got all of his ties. Jamie got the golf club. Kim Kardashian was in the same auction, too. What was she trying to get? Who got the glove diary or something? Me and her were bidding against each other. Yeah. Were you really?

Yes. And then I ended up winning a bunch of them. I had a couple drinks. I didn't think I was going to. win all these. I want so many. I have an autograph picture of Bill Clinton and O.J. From Bill Clinton that's like, to my dear

friend, O.J. Whoa. And it was extremely expensive. And any time somebody comes to my house, I go, check this out. And they go, cool. I go, fuck. I'd get a photo with it. I would get jazzed up. I'd get hard as rock. Look at that. There it is.

There it is. That's the one I got. My dear friend, O.J. Samson. He's a big. Big, tall, handsome man. From SF. Bro, it's funny watching his old political speeches. Two legends. Yeah, police academy.

Yeah, Nordberg. Yeah, he's great. Hertz commercials? Hell yeah. He was in police academy? Yeah. Naked gun. Naked gun, yeah, that's right, man.

Same thing. Spinoff. Same shit. Sorry. Yeah. I wasn't sure if he was in both. I wasn't being a cunt. Now, could you make a movie like that today?

Naked gun? Yeah. You could, but you'd have to finance it independently. They did make it. Oh yeah, they just remade. Well, they remade. The answer is yes. Could you make a movie?

You can make any movie today. All right, good, because I'm making one. Well, you know, it's better as much as anybody. All they're asking for is that. Me and Samaril wrote one. We're shooting in October. What is it? Everybody wants a movie.

It's just a raunchy 80s-style comedy. Nice. Yeah, we're shooting. We got financing. I can't believe some guy's giving us money. Theo and David Spade just did one. Oh, yeah. I heard that was hilarious.

I heard it was hilarious. Yeah, yeah. It's nice that people are doing shit like that. You can do it now. Well, yeah, the gatekeepers. Oh, Tires comes out tomorrow. Hey, hey, hey, hey. We're doing things.

Season three. Season three. Wow. How much does that consume of you? Good question. What did I miss? What did I miss? How difficult is it to, I mean, it seems to like a big.

Three months is quick. Gilly takes on a lot of it. Keeves. Yeah. Right, right, right. Sorry, I'm a little drunk. I'm a little drunk. He's getting hit.

No, the rest of the guys, I mean, I help write, but I can do that from afar. McKeever writes a lot of it. Yeah. He's a talent. Just write it. I'll show up and... He's the train. It's so awesome.

And it seems like Netflix has very little to say. You just kind of do it and give it to him. That's so dope. They've never changed anything. Ferrandos is the man. Sarandos is so cool. He's such a good dude. I've known that guy forever.

Really? Yeah, I did a Netflix special for them in 2000. When it was still like... Five? Yeah. Five? Was it a disc? Yeah.

Yeah, it was discs. Whoa. I was like, I might have been the first. Which one? I might have been the first Netflix. Jamie, can you show that? I think you were there. We did that show at the improv in Tempe.

Yeah. Did it at the improv? We filmed it. Good club. Because this is just a real conversation that me and Steve. Congratulations. Yeah. All right.

Thanks. Did you go down on her? Yeah, a little. Not. Yeah. It's like bare minimal. is 15 minutes. Planning for potentially 45. 45 minutes? Who told you that? I read it.

You have a book about how to eat pussy? Yeah. Bro, every day you say shit that makes me... Like, you're giving me a headache. O'Connor, try not to laugh. Gerben had a book about how to eat pussy. Where did he get? Oh, that's real. Oh, that's all, yeah. Whoa!

Immediately into the script. Who wrote? Whoa. Can I get that book? I forget. No offense. I'm not being a thesis. Obviously, a Jewish person. Yeah, we're writers. You guys love, no, but you guys also love sexuality. Are you pussy? Yeah.

Nothing wrong with that. Good at it. Black people, take notes. DJ Callan. And another one. But Gerby's has a book on how to eat pussy, and he talks about it a lot, and it bothers me immensely. Where did you get the book? Oh, my God, it's called How to Eat Pussy.

I mean, it could be. I do actually know the name of the book. It's called She Comes First. I've heard of that. I've heard of that book. Of course you have. It's like everybody poops. Everybody's not being a test man.

It's right next to Anne Frank Thier. How do you pussy? Jesus Christ. Clipping the big red clam. She comes first. There it is. Oh, wow. Is that a papaya?

Yep. Kirby's 250,000 copies sold. That's not great. Amazing. Insects instruction. Number one bestseller and pussy eating. This shit pisses me off. The pussy eating is run.

It bothers me. And he's like, well, yeah, I do that. And then I bring her home and I go, and then sometimes you just tickle the front at first. You're like, dude, disgusting. You have a playbook on this? Fuck you. So he is that guy. None of us are acting.

Wow. It's totally... Kyla is the most... Kyle is the most guy anyone. She's such trash. She does so well this season. Really? Yeah.

I'm excited for people to see that. Fun. It's very excited. You got soda in there? Soters in it this year. Is Ron White in it? Ron White's not in it. Not this season?

What happened? Bobby Lee. You just have one episode. Bobby Lee's in it. this season. Folly Stavve. Fully's back. Fully killed.

Fully's... Fully is so fucking funny. He's a funny fucker. He's like the best guy ever. Yeah, he's a good hang. Fully rules. He is the best hang. He's got stories, but we can't get into it.

We can get into something. No. Me and him have already talked about this on a podcast. It's like my favorite Fully story. Because in Philly, he was a demon. Yeah. Like a fucking real demon. Yeah.

Him and Chris Cotton would fight. We'd go to the Raven Lounge. They would fist fight. Really? Dude, it was crazy. Fist fight each other? Yes. Everyone was on Coke.

The second somebody got on stage, Foley will blow up. Two guys in the back, two fat guys in the back room. Hey, shut the fuck up. Fuck you. But Foley had a thing. He was telling me the story about it. He brought home a hooker.

And he was... This is all cool to talk about? I don't want to get the guy in trouble. We've talked about it before. On air? Foley has a podcast call. Are you garbage? I know.

He said he was bouncing. He was on Coke, bouncing on a yoga ball. He's like 400 pounds. Poor yoga ball. According to his story, which is my favorite version, is he was smoking a cigarette. He's got a hooker in there, like, standing in front of him, like, dancing in an empty room. He's on a yoga ball, and the cherry from the cigarette fell and popped the yoga ball. Wow.

And I was like, it might have been four. I was like, brother, that was you. I love the experience, like, the idea of him. A 400-pound guy like Flimsy chair. Yeah, baby, I like that shit. Yeah. Boom.

It's a fat guy on his back. That's tripper got a good laugh. Or hooker, sorry. He is fully fucking. He's a treasure. He's a man. He's a national treasure.

That's all right. Let's bring this home. Oh, really? Oh, I thought we just get started. We were just starting out. We were getting into it. What do you want to do? You want to talk?

You got to 7 o'clock show. I got to pee. Go pee. I'll be back. All right. Let's keep it in a bottle. Yeah. I'm drunk enough.

Can you hear me a beer? Absolutely, sir. I beat Rogan on the Whiz. We're doing well. We got to delete the first hour. It was worthless. Jamie, bring up Jeremy I love touchdown's highlights. And just play in the back.

We'll talk about other shit. That's a good whiskey there. Bodega Kett. I love Bodega Kett. Get a bottle. I had a bottle. I stole one from your studio last time. I saw it might be drunk.

I just grab whatever I could. I was like, I'm just in New York for a month, and I don't want to buy a bottle of liquor. Don't give this guy an apartment in London. He'll steal from you. They're doing it. They're not giving me one. I love you calling yourself an immigrant.

It's so fun. It's so fun, bro. It pisses me off every time you do it. It's so fun. Technically, it's true. Yeah, that's why he's doing it. Yeah. There's no immigration problem in London.

They're all, actually, it's very difficult to get a house as an immigrant. Yeah. Shut up. I love it. You would also tell them, like, you know, soccer, the term came from you guys. Well, that's fun. And they go. It's football.

Like, that's not according to you, though. That's true. That's fun. I love calling them on their shit. It's so fun. Those soccer games are amazing. Isn't it? Also, by the way, college football destroys soccer.

What? That's all of it. Oh, let's just watch my guy. Wow. Look at the Catholic royalty in the uniform. Bro, look up cane highlights. That is a white outfit. I've seen Harry Kane.

I've seen all of his fucking. Harry Kane is good. Harry Kane, he spits when he talks. That Bellingham, he's a sexy, sexy black. I just lost fucking Jed. Huh? They gave up Spence. I don't know what that means.

This is wonderful stuff. There you go. Watch this one. You guys are going to like this. You're going to like it. This is Barry Sanders shit. Not down. Not down.

Whoa. I've never seen that move. Not down. He did a fully yoga ball in that guy. He didn't like this stuff. 45 after. That's good, Jamie. So, wait, you were shooting arrows?

You were shooting arrows for two hours today? Yeah. Is she shooting migrants? Your arm would get worn out from that. No. I was playing an MLB to show. I do it constantly. I'm used to doing it.

Really? Yeah. How's the bullseye? It's great. You stuffed your kills? What's that? You stuff your kills? Stuff them?

No. No, I turn them into Euro mounts. It's just the skull and the antler. Nice. Let me ask you, if you hit a guy with an arrow, how would it kill them? him? Yeah, 100%. I don't think so. It kills a 700-pound buck. We can find out right now. Is he kill an elk?

Yes, he kills elk. Well, you got a fucking high-powered crazy ass. I'm talking about a bow and a bow and arrow from a Chautau. That's all it killed every Belgian immigrant. Oh my God, this is a crazy history. That's how most people died. There were weapons. Well, have you seen the Odyssey? The guy gets hit with 18

arrows and he's walking away. It's a movie. That part, I like the movie, but that part, Bollaby. There's also black Greeks. Yeah, good point. Joe? Good point. They were.

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, you're 100% you can kill a person. You know what I just watched? You know what I just watched last night? It was The Northman. Oh, I see that. I saw it in theaters and didn't like it when I saw it the first time. What?

I don't know what I have to go. It's just fun. It's all fun. I re-watched it last night. It's so sick. It's so sick. It's a good time. It's one of the sickest movies. Eggers is the man.

It's awesome. Yeah. Robert Eggers. is the fucking man. Was the actor or director? He did Nals Ferato. Did he do the Vitch? Yes.

The rich is really good. He's doing the Whirlowell. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be sick. Everything he's done. Everything rules. But the bitch was really good. Nossferratu fucking ruled.

Vitch ruled. Movies are back. Nossferraud is the greatest vampire movie of all time. Really? Nothing. The Bram Stoker's Dracula was great. Nostrodo took it to a totally new level.

Lighthouse was fun. Lighthouse. Yeah, that's right. We forgot the lighthouse. The Vich was great. Nosferado is for sure. Hansel and Gretel? I never saw that one. By the way, obsession was like one of the best movies of all time.

Brothers was killer. Obsession was so fucking joy. Can we say how funny obsession was though? It was so funny. When it's just like clearly this is just having a nightmare girlfriend. The scene where he's like, where they're like, dude, it's guys tonight. And he's like, I don't care. I'm not afraid to tell her.

He's like, okay, tell her then. He's like, all right, fine. He's in his car and he hangs up and then like scary music starts playing. And he goes inside and he's like, So, I think I'm gonna go over to Tim's. She's like, okay, great, I'll get ready. And he's like, it's just gonna be the guys. And she's like, ah.

How about when she? It's not such a regular life. The other one she taped over the door. Hilarious. It's like there's a slow build to complete insanity to the scene in the car. Yeah. She kills the other girl. That girl was so good.

She was so good. She was going to go far. She ruled. And that's the crazy thing about it. Like no one was known. Overnight. Yeah. She can't walk down the street anymore.

She's friends with a comic in New York. She came into the cellar once and it was like, just getting from wherever they were on six to the cellar took like 40 minutes. Wow. That can't be. We went with Kanye and it wasn't that. He took the car around to the store. He didn't walk with us, did he?

Come on. Did he walk with us in the store? Did he walk with us? Did he walk with us? Yes. I don't remember me, you, Louis Rock, Chappelle. I don't remember Kanye walking with him. I thought St. Kanye was...

Wow. It was so fucking crew. That's a great photo. Somebody should have got ahead of you guys and took a photo. The funniest. It was so fun. It was the funniest group of dudes of all times. Yeah, there's a lot of trouble.

We got there. This is how funny Tommy Pope is. It was me and my buddies, we got there first, and Tommy is obliterated from the flight. And then Kanye comes in, or, no, Chappelle comes in first. He's sitting with us. And he's like, Kanye's here. We should talk to Kanye. And I was like, yeah, please.

obviously. And then Kanye comes and sits with us and then walks away. Anyway, we hang out with Kanye all night. The next morning, Tommy's like, I'd love to meet Kanye. I'd fucking, that'd be awesome. You hung out with him all night, you drunk fucking... Wow. He spent the whole night with him. Jesus. It was so fucking cool. They were going... Chappelle came, just randomly. They went to here to meet us. He just showed up, Rock showed up,

Louis showed up. No, then he goes, Rock and Louis are here. I was like, bring him down. What? Okay. And then, and then Chappelle's like, I'm going to spoke a joint. Sam J went back there and I was like, I think I kind of want to go back there and smoke a joint with him. And then he's like, Shane's like, well, you can't go now. I'm like, why not?

You didn't see you went back there? I'm like, no. Kanye would seem like I'm going just for that. And then I went. Yeah. But yeah, it was hard wrangling them to be like, because I was the one that was like, we should probably do stand up tonight, right, fellas?

Because it's you guys. Yeah. And the only one that was like, definitely was Kanye. Kanye was like, yes. Oh, that'd be fun. Did he go on? No, he just went and stood.

He stood on the stage for a second. Yeah. Weird. But he was the one. How long ago was this? May? It was in May. So Chappelle goes on.

He goes, at first, my idea was like, I'm going to just go up and bring Shane on. Then Chappelle's like, I'm going to host. Yeah. Look at that. Oh, that's a new thing. Chappelle goes on and does seven minutes. Oh, this is L.A.

Yeah. Chappelle goes on and does seven minutes. Nicole was on, had no idea who was in the back, which was all these guys. Wow. Wow. And so we're in the back row, and it's Shane and Mitzie's chair. Louis right next to him or vice versa.

I'm right there. And they go, hey, Kanye's people need these chairs. And Louis and Shane were at first, we're just comics like, oh, okay. And they looked at each other and they just go, no. Wow. What a list. It's a cancel fest. I love it.

Chappelle went on to seven minutes and he goes, it's a cancel comedy cavalcade. He brought on Shane to his rose jokes. It goes, it gets better. This next guy was a horrible person to women. Brings up Louis. and he goes, this next guy is even worse, spoke about someone's wife and got slapped in the face for it.

Oh my God. This is midnight and onwards. Oh my God, there was a crowd going bananas? It was the 27 of them and they were like, what the fuck? And then Bears closed it out. Isn't that amazing? Only 27 people saw that? Yeah. Don Bears. Don Bears killed.

That's a funny son of me. The Bears followed and killed. Wow. Dude, they were in the back. Kanye's got, give me the ox. He's just playing unreleased tracks. What? Stuff he likes and then his own stuff that's unreleased. Hi Hitler.

Damn, that's amazing. He explained his mania. Really? Yeah, he was like, he goes, guys, it wasn't about the Jews. It wasn't about, it could have been about immigrants, could about gays. Go, Chappelle, I went after you. I was crazy. I was crazy.

Oh, that's cool. He goes, I wasn't in my right mind. I'm next to Charles and he just goes, he points at me. I was like, he goes, that guy has a bit about it. And I was like, well, Wait, what? Charles is like, Charles is like, do you hear that? I'm like, I thought I did.

Did he just say that guy has a bit about it? Yeah, he's just like, it was so fucking cool. That's bananas. Everyone's up there. Ross is back there. Khali's there. It was a great, it was a great hodgepodge of opinions on Judaism. It really was.

Chappelle was like, we were trying to get Kanye. He's like, I think I should play Israel. He's like, you can't play a totalitarian regime. I was the only one, though. It was like, hey, don't do that. Yeah. He was sell up. play a totality chair.

I was like, didn't you go to Saudi Arabia? Yeah. It's like, that was a great festival. Dude, I had to pick up my luggage from your hotel right afterwards. How was this how? You went to Saudi Arabia? It was the way. I would go again.

Good shows. I mean, I got a world of shit, but it was so fun. Yeah, but don't feel like you skated more than anybody. Yeah, I didn't hear anything about you. I didn't stay for anything. They said, you can't talk about this. Yeah, you'll stand for shit, so you're not a hypocrite. They said, you can't talk about this.

They gave you a list of stuff. And you're like, I don't know how many bits about that. I was like, oh. Okay, this is like half my act. Like what? Everything. Oh, you know, can't fuck with the government, can't fuck with trans, can't fuck with trans, can't do this. What?

I was like, oh, gosh. No trans or gay jokes? You can't support trans or gay people. Support. Right, so I was fine. That's what they said? Stuff like that. Literally just a mothership set.

Right. Just the contract you sign when you do the mothership. But I got on stage. In blood. Everybody got in my head like, be careful out there, man. They're going to chop your hands off. It's going to be crazy. And I was like, oh, God.

You're a shoplifter. Yeah, that's true. So I got there, and I'm like, I land on the plane. The old shoplift is Saudi Arabia. No, no, not that crazy. I got one cliff bar from Hudson News. But I landed, and I'm like, women are driving? This place has gone to shit.

Like, the whole thing was, it's all a route. It's not that crazy. So then I got to the hotel, and I did one night because I was like, I better get in, better get out. They're going to kill me. And it was great. They couldn't have been to more. And I did the show and I was like oh god, what am I gonna talk about? I got my whole act is cut in half

And then you know when you're on stage and you get in that rhythm and you just do your act Yeah, because it's all you know I just did my act and I did everything they said not to do and it was fine I did Muslim jokes. I was like ah You guys get high what do you stone each other you know shit like that and they're like Ah They were the best crowd ever they were so nice it was great and I got the hell out of there Well imagine like you've never had comedy there and all of a sudden you have the best comics in the world yeah kind of crazy yeah there was some great comics there I mean just saw the list

nobody was reporting said no I said no yeah Tony said no too they offered Tony a lot of money he said no so funny they went after the right wing comics and the right one comes ago no and then in the roasts they're like these right wing comics oh it's only a left one that wasn't the roast it was only Chelsea it was only Chelsea and somebody probably wrote that the whole thing was ridiculous it was a total straw man she's doing good you're right super super good I love Chelsea I think she's doing good. I liked her. We had a nice time together.

She had a good set. She killed. It's all the stuff she says when you're not around. Yeah. Once you leave, that's when she starts chirping. But she was very nice in person. That's the problem with a lot of people. That's why social media sucks.

Yeah. It brings it out of you. So all these people hit shit on Joe Rogan and they go on his podcast and don't say shit. You're signaling. You got a signal. You're signaling. And then, you know, you have to signal after you leave. Yeah.

Fuck off. Yeah. You know who was on it when you signed up, you know. Yeah. You go to an orgy, you can't be mad to got giz done. Could just not go on. Yeah, that's a good point. You could not go.

Well, I have a point. All right, guys, are you guys, let's talk a little college football. Let's talk a little. What about, we got to get back to Grant. We can talk, Grant. We can talk Civil War all day. Are we going on tonight? What's the plan here?

Well, I ain't. We're drinking for DeRosa. Oh, we got DeRosa's coming out party. Bar hopping. We guys going on bar hopping? He got on Netflix. Joe DeRosa is on Netflix for the first time. He did the show yesterday.

That is a great fucking special. He's a great special. No humor involved. He was on the show last night here. He killed. He is a funny Egyptian adopted person. He is a fun dude too. Yeah.

Fun to hang out with. Too fun. Best drinkers. Most of the time he's a great hang. Yeah, he can flip on you. He can be a little baby every once in a while. Yeah. We'll have a heart to heart with you once in a while.

He loves a heart to heart more. Hard to heart. Let's talk to sound like, are we doing that now? I'm adopted. He's also, whatever. Everything. Everything. He's also the.

the most minuscule thing on earth. When you're too drunk and he's like, come on those two shots. I'm like, dude, we're so bombed. This is such a bad idea. And he's like, fucking pussy. Do a shot. He's gone nine minutes later at KFC and he's to sleep. He loves KFC.

He loves it. He loves it. I haven't had it in 20 years, but KFC rules. But here's what a dirt bag is. We got drunk one night. This is 10 years ago in New York. And he's like, we got to go to KFC. I was like, and the only one open was in Penn Station.

So it's me and him in Penn Station at like four, the morning, eating next to like a homeless guy. It was the saddest night of my life, and he's like, this is the best KFC. I've tried them all. This one's good. He's crazy. Savannah KFC. KFC Penn Station.

He's the Anthony Bourdain of KFC. The best is during COVID because he was in the neighborhood when you're like, it was noon. And you're like, hey, there's serving beers outside. He goes, I'll meet you in 10. And then you just call Jay. No one was doing anything and Jerosa was just always down to booze. Always.

Easiest got to convince. There's one little pushback and you go, got a shot and he's like, all right. I got a business meeting later. He's like, you sure? I'll meet you. Yeah. That was it.

How does Voodoo Rangers treating you? They're good. They're solid. I like them. All right. All right. That's good at. Yeah.

Come on. Let's your birthday. You're off your birthday. Let's all do a fucking. Hey, JMO. Grab me one of them. You'll queue up a birthday song by Drake. One of the, these things.

These voodoo IPAs. Hey, did Bert? Did Bert get back on the? I don't know. I know Brad Pitt's drinking. I didn't know he stopped. Shout out to BP. Didn't even know he was sick.

Yo, you're going to bong a voodoo ranger? Oh, man. You're bonging a voodoo. It's like chugging gravy. That's hard. Chugging gravy. Yeah, play this for Joe's birthday. Wait, does Bert back on the wagon?

I don't think so. I think he's still not drinking. No way. Yeah, he's still not drinking. I thought he was off in July. No. I think he's, uh, look, he's. Look, he had some serious fucking health issues.

Yeah, for 30 years. Yeah, but he had crazy blood clots. Obesity. Blood clot. Three vaccinations. I said that. That was funny. He took three of those fucking MRI vaccines.

Now, Cona McGregor is trying to piggyback. Conno McGregor stopped doing alcohol? Yeah, that's so funny. What? He doesn't know. Switching off Coke. I'm going back to alcohol. He doesn't have a leg to stand on.

I think he's basically selling his stout. He has a. Yeah, what's it called? Black Forge, right? Black Forge, yeah. Gentlemen. Happy birthday, big quiff. Happy birthday.

Man, you're going to be 60 soon. That's crazy. Damn, you're going to be fast. That was fast. You still got it. Fully level. That was a fresh one. That was cold, bro.

Yes, Joe. I'm used to the cold punch. I can take cold temperatures. Wow. Down your throat. Better than hot ones. Hot thick. It's a good show.

I haven't done it. What? Yeah, what are you waiting for? Hot one was. It's a ridiculous way to answer questions. I hated it. Hot one was? Really?

Hot ones. He eat the hot wings and you answer questions. I was hungover and... Wings are perfect for that. I always eat wings. No. It's actually great. The wings were great.

Oh, that's nice. And he's very nice. He's the man. He's a nice guy. I met him at the store. It was just, yeah, he's the man. I just suck at that type of... I'm not good at that type of interview.

It's a crazy way to do. do a conversation where you're dying from fucking sauce. The best was Conan. Conan called in his own medical staff. He killed it. He was so good. He was so old in a medical staff? Yeah, it was like, he rubbed hot toasts all over his face. He's chugging milk. It was fun.

It was great. I was crushing the milk. Milk helps. That's the move. He was like, he was like, yeah. Yeah. You should really get raw milk where all the creams in it. That's the move. Ah. I don't really coat your throat.

What about jizz? He's got raw milk. What do you get raw milk? milk. I drink it every week. Where do you get it? Get it at a farmer's market. The Amish, brother. Yeah. I drink raw milk. I drink a gallon of raw milk every week. You know what I like about the Amish? So good. The Amish is cool because they don't force it on anybody. They do their own bullshit. They're in the buggy. They're churning butter. They don't push it on it. They also don't have autism. The only people in the Amish community

to have autism is adopted kids that were already vaccinated. Dude, they said if you switch off lactose, it cures autism a lot of people, but that's probably the raw. It's the not raw. It's that they're not vaccinated. They don't take kids and jab them up, fill with aluminum and fucking mercury. But milk is also a thing. Isn't it? Interesting. Yeah. And it might be the non-raw milk.

Well, milk, I think the issue with milk is it does cause Yeah, the ones that the children that they found that have autism are the ones who were adopted. They just don't go to the doctor. Right.

They don't have anything. That's actually a good point. They don't go to the English. However, the instances of autism are significantly lower. Jamie works for the Fed. He does. I grew up around these people and they're certainly autistic. Ohio State Fair.

Without a doubt, autistic. I grew up next to Lancaster. I mean, we would drive by them. They'd be in their buggies. We'd roll down the window, play music real loud. They'd be like, how do you like a taste of the good life, you sack of shit? Well, they're allowed to escape and do that. What's it called Rumpel's?

Rumskine. Rum Springer. Yeah. You ever see that documentary? Yes. It's a documentary about it. It's kind of crazy. The girls go off.

So you watch these kids just go fucking nutty for a year? For two straight years, back-to-back Notre Dame games. Indiana has some Amish. And they would go to Notre Dame football games and tailgate the guys that were on Rum Springer. You can be on Rum Springer as long as you want. It's not like one year. But you could only do it once and then you come back. You get as long as you want.

You can go until you're like 45 and be like, all right. I'm coming back. Wow. But these boys were getting active, and they are fully autistic. Dude, Joe, not only are you wrong, they were, every single one of these boys was autistic. They had fucking bull cuts. And we're getting shit housed. Are you sure that they're not just completely isolated from the regular world?

And they're yoked. Dude, these are the strongest dudes. Well, they're building bars. They were so strong. And their faces, dude, Jamie Brin, Bring up those Amish guys that got arrested. It'll come up. Amish mug shots.

Wait to you see the faces these boys have. They're fucking wild-looking, dude. It's such a good line to walk in on. Bring up those Amish dudes who got arrested. Whoa. Look how thick. They're thick. They're all trekked.

Whoa. His chin is like a guy, a sheep herder in England. Do you know how, 1700? Do you know how nasty that O line is? You get fucking five of those motherfuckers? Wow. Look at that. It's interesting.

Like, why the religious fanatics always go with the beard, no mustache? Yeah, why not a mustache? Let it all go. It's weird. Beard no mustache is strange. That's a sick look, dude. What is beard no mustache? What's the significance?

Rotten, vulcan and an orange jumpsuit, dude. You're a large. Wow, look at that. Yeah, you're right. They go off the stash. It's Oliver Tree's parents. Beard no... Shut out.

Shut out. Shut out of Oliver Tres. All right, baby. What a bench. He died in a plane crash, right? Helicopters. In Brazil. He ruled all the way through.

He was the man. He was the best. But you know, those Amish, I used to see him in Wawa all the time. No way. Yeah. I was like, what you're doing? They look Amish, but they're not. Oh, is that what that is?

Do you remember when we were doing a gig in western Massachusetts and we pulled into a rest stop? And there was those ladies, they were Mennonite ladies. And you go, what are you into? What is this? And they were like so nervous. They're like these crazy religious ladies. I was so nervous. And Diaz was like, look at fucking Arii over there.

scan the fuck out of these white people what are you doing he's like what are you doing what is this what cult do you in it was so funny you were so aggressive I was trying to be I'm just awkward but you're just like looming you're a fucking stork

you're looming over these poor ladies they're wearing pilgrim outfits and shit you're looming over them it was so funny I was like Ari's the best I shouldn't even talk to men and I'm like come on Give me answers. You can send Ari in. He would do anything.

He was shameless. Oh, those are the days. That's why Amazing Racist was so funny. That was great. Mark hasn't had one. Bring it on. Bring it on. I had two, bitch.

How do you? I'm not good at it. What does that mean? I got to guys are going to learn. Who gets good at this? You're good at it? You guys are going on it. This is in chess.

Second worst. You're really good at it. You were the best at it. You were the best at it. Shane's second. I'm third. The quickness? The quickness?

Bro. Yeah. You open up your throat. Like you've had that happen before. You know what's craziest is Luke Combs. Really? He'd get down. We shotgun together and I'm like, that doesn't even make any sense.

Like, how did, what do you? A whale? How did you open your mouth up and swallow Jonah? By the way, you're a bitch for rolling cigarettes. Why? It's just gay. It pisses me off. Have one of these.

DeRosa gave me these. I know what those are. I'm going to roll my own. Why do that when you get a filter? It's try hard. I have a filter. It is try hard. I have a filter.

I made me a little. filter. This is the way the Indians did it. The Indians. The Indians. The Indians didn't use papers, you fucking retard. That's my people. Don't talk shit. It's working, brother. What? You're half Cherokee? No. Oh. I wish I was. It'd be fun to say. You'd be mentioning it

by now. My land. Yeah. My people. My squaw. You were good at it. Thanks. That was the best one I've ever done. I just identified with that. Really? Really. I got the arrows. Yeah, you got the arrows. Also, live in Texas. This is Camanchiland. These is the wildest Indians ever in this spot.

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. There's a great book. You want to read a great book? Empire of the Summer Moon. Fucking insane book. They made the movie, right? It's the best. No, that was that other one. What was that one, Jamie? Hostiles had a little bit of it. That was

the McCartney, McCartney, right? Blood Meridian. Blood Meridian. No, no, no, it wasn't that. It was the one with Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, yeah, yeah. That had nothing to do with the Comanchee.

I know, I know, but that was the name of the movie. He was the Red Movie. Was it Empire of the Revenue? No, no, no, no, no. That was one, but there was another one. The later one. The Killer Moon. Flower Moon.

That has nothing to do with the Comanche. Right, right. It was a confusion. So Empire of the Summer Moon is all about the Comanchee and about how they controlled Texas and Oklahoma. It was impossible to pass. So this is how fucked up the people were back. They would give people homesteads. They would say, hey, Mark, would you like your own land?

Sure. We'll give you 100,000 acres. Love it. You can have this place, and you just go there and you move there. In about five months, you, your wife, and your kids are about to get beheaded and raped. Is that what you're doing with this condo you're trying to give me? Oh, Taylor Sheridan is turning into a show. That's exciting.

It's going to be sick. That's exciting. He will. No, he won't. No, it needs to be made by... Landman got a little creepy. Taylor. No, you better not make it, queasy. You got to see...

You got to see... What was it? 1883? What was it? 1823? 1882. 1883, I saw it. The one that he did that was about the people trying to make it across the country

was the most accurate. Really? It was the most accurate depiction of what it was like for these fucking crazy settlers on wagons to try to make it through Indian They're all like Danish and shit and trying their best to settle. They all got lied to.

They all got lied to just the way these poor motherfuckers that moved into Oklahoma got lied to. And you see those photos that they're outside or all like all these different Indians and different people? Quana Parker. Like that guy, his mother was Cynthia Ann Parker who got kidnapped by the Comanche. Whoa. Which was nine years old. They slaughtered her entire family, kidnapped her. She married the chief.

and then her son was the last Comanchee chief. That was Quanta Parker. Holy moly. And that's right here. I was just the other day I was driving down Quana Parker Lane. Whoa. They named, bro, this guy killed everybody. Wow.

It was a beast. He was a fucking monster. Don't look into history. Oh, dude. If you want to tear down statues, don't look into history. Yeah, you can't tear down statues. You just got to accept the fact that we're learning how to be better people. And where do those statues go?

Yeah, where do they go? There must be in a warehouse somewhere. I'd like to get my hands on an old robbery league. They melt them down and turn them into dicks. Somebody who just showing me one. I think it was Stonewall Jackson. They just remade a statue and just fucked it up. Oh, the Messi, Lionel Messi.

Well, no. Oh, yeah, the dick with his dick out? Yeah, that was bad. Is this a statue of Lionel Messi with his dick out? It's just a bad statue. It looks like it. Pull it up. The Rinalda one's not great either.

It's all neck. face is fucked up. But this place where we're living in for hundreds of years, the Comanche ruled. To the White's game. Yeah, that... Yeah. You got to show from behind now. That picture's crazy. What is that thing that's supposed to be in front of them?

World Cup. The World Cup trophy. Put it in a different place. You'd think. Yeah. Put it in his hand. Don't put it in front of his cats. Damn. But yeah, you know about Davy Crockett? What about him? Well, the fact that he bought...

He, I'm sorry, Daniel Boone. Sorry, Daniel Boone. That's easy to mistake. Daniel Boone, my bad. They're both there. Daniel Boone was the ultimate badass. This guy's crazy. He started Boonesville, which was just a fort that he made.

And he kept getting attacked by Indians. His daughter gets stolen. He goes back, finds her, kills everybody, brings his daughter back, which was unheard of. You know, this white guy alone is just killing a much of Indians, gets his daughter back. eventually he's trying to make salt in the river everything was about salt back then he's making salt in the river they kidnap him

they got him you know chained up whatever they're walking him down he runs away just randomly escapes he only walks on rocks to get away so they can't find him because they can't find fingerprints this is how crazy he was gets back to the fort and he goes I killed a bunch of guys

they're going to kill us we got to set up for nine days Indians attack the fort and they're just, you know, shooting them off, shooting them off. Eventually the Indians burned the fort

and then the militia showed up. Whoa. And they saved him. But yeah, crazy. Nine days fighting off Native Americans. Bro, we're so lucky. We're so lucky. We're so lucky.

To be living in 2026. I know. Imagine if you were living in Mongolia in the year, $1,200. I get a bad hotel. I'm like, fuck this place. I get the worst.

My flight's delayed. They thought everybody was a pussy who didn't live in a felt tent. In a rat-skinned suit. Yeah, rat skin. Is that right? Bro, Dan Carlin's hardcore history is the greatest podcast on history ever. And he's got a thing called The Wrath of the Khan. And it is like five episodes long of Genghis Khan or Chingus Khan, as he says.

That's how they say. It's like there's a bunch of different translations of what it actually got. The Great Khan. Now he's got a film festival. Bro, it's fucking insane. It's so good. I got obsessed with Genghis Khan after that. Obsessed.

Really? Obsessed. I watched like three different documentaries on them. I read, I watched movies on them. I read two books. It's fucking, it's fucking, he was so insane. Really? I got to watch some of this stuff.

He was born with a blood clot in his hand, like in his fist. His mother was like concerned, like that he was going to become a monster. from the time he was born. He killed his brother. What? His brother used to steal fish from him and his other brother, so they killed him with a bow and arrow. Whoa! You can kill somebody with an arrow?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's all the Mongolians did. Yeah, I guess so. Have you ever shot a bow? I mean, like an old kid's one. Yeah, in summer camp. That's why you don't think you can kill somebody. We have an archery range in the studio.

Let's do it. I'll take you back there right now. I'll show you up. I'll tell you. All right. film festival. Who? Dan Carlin is a film festival?

Gay. What? Am I thinking of the wrong guy? What the hell are you talking? He's a gay film festival? Yeah. What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

A different guy? Hardcore. What gay film festival are you going to? It was like how bored are you in England? This is like a Mitch McConnell moment. Something's going on. You're crossing wires here. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that guy still alive? Who? He is. Mitch McConnell?

He just said he's not, right? they say he's like. He's a He's in the bed in hospital. They're grabbing his hand and signing bills. Yeah. Is he alive? I believe he is.

I know Lindsey Graham is off the reservation. He's gone. Do you think Russia killed him? I like that idea. I do too. He was old. It seems like he might have got blown up. Yeah, while looking at a drone factory.

Oh, this is awesome. Yeah. Oh, my God, we're going to kill so many people. Sitting on the drone. Yeah. Fuck on. I was just in Charleston, like I said, and I was making fun of Lindsay Graham, and I was like, I wonder how they're going to feel. Hall Stadium was like, yeah.

Oh. Well, you got, you got a voted for him. He was a weird guy. He was a great town. If there was ever a guy, they're like, that guy's gay. Yeah. Yeah, he looks gay. He looks old, Southern gay.

He makes Tony Hinchcliff look like Hulk Hogan. Tony. Sorry. But Southern and Gay is a fine line. We got Gentile down there. Proper. Yeah. Just a Searsucker soup, mint julep, I do declare.

That's the weird thing about history. But we go back to armies, when armies were like a bunch of dudes just out in the field together for years at a time, they all got gay. It must have. The Spartans. I disagree with this concept. Spartans were gay as fuck. When you think about elite warriors in history, don't you think about the Spartans? I mean, statistically it had to happen.

Yeah, 300. They're all gay as sure. I didn't get tricked by the comic book movie. I don't think of the Spartans. They kept that out of that movie. That's true. They kept the gay stuff out. They should have tossed that in.

They shaved their chest down, though. I'll tell you that. Really? They got sleek. Yeah, they all were shaved up. It didn't make any sense. Like, where's the hair? Nobody had any hair in the movie.

Yeah. Really? So it was kind of gay. They like wrestlers. I guess so. Resslers don't have any hair. They'll shave it. Hook, hogan, up their hair in his chest.

They didn't have a word for gay back then, because it was just so normal. Boys. In Greece. This is all silly talk. I'm telling you They had no word for gay We got a thousand words for gay Gay, Homo

Who didn't have word for gay Greeks Who told you that I like it I think I saw a real Put that in a perplexity Jamie You know I mean put that into our AI

Now they're perplexity Is that Greek and ancient Greek Gay was just gay It was just like living Hey Perplexity stomp What's his face Alexander the Great

Had a couple of boyfriends He had a good point It's actually a They never been doing. They never thought about. They never got doctors. They're not getting checked out. This dude's doing math in their head while they're putting up blogs.

They don't have a single neutral word. Ancient Greeks did not have a single neutral word equivalent to the modern identity term gay. Appreciate it, James. Sexuality was generally described through acts, social roles, or particular relationships, rather than a fixed orientation. I just think we have a very weird thing in modern history where we like to look back and be like they were gay. Did you know women control this tribe? Everyone was gay back then. Abraham Lincoln was gay.

It's like, shut up. I mean, I get what you're saying. Shut up. I'm just saying that's what I heard about. Yeah, but there was also like legit gay shit. Like how about the Papau New Guinea people? Do you know about that? What about that?

Do you don't know about that? The semen warriors of Papua New Guinea, they would take a child when they were six years old and he would have an anal father. and they would be literally removed from their parents. And they thought that in order for a man to grow strong, he had to consume semen, either in his mouth or his anus. And from the time they're six, from the time they're six,

these warriors were taken away from their family, and they were brought to a man. And that man would fuck him in the ass and fuck them in the mouth, and they would do the same to a young boy that came up. Could you just come on the table and look at it? And the only thing that stopped them was Christian missionaries. They're like, hey, hey, hey. That seems to be a common theme in history.

Yeah. I was watching the Northmen. Dudes are so gross. If you leave us alone, we fuck each other. No, not that. I'm saying the Christians showing up and going, what are you doing? Yeah. Here's some gumpowder.

Shut the fuck up. I was watching the Northman last night, and I was like, thank goodness. Christianity showed up. They were fucking knocked this shit off. According to Plutarch, the 300 handpicked men were choosing by Gordi purely for ability and merit, regardless of social class. It was comprised of 150 male couples. Each pair consisting of an older erastus and a younger aromeness.

Beloved. Beloved. Athenos of Nocratus. Wait. Also records in the sacred band as being composed of lovers and their favorite, thus indicating the dignity of the gun. God Eros that they embrace the glorious death in preference to a dishonorable and reprehensible life. So this is saying the Spartan, the 300 were 150 couples?

Yeah. Okay. Now click the citation and tell me what year that book was written. Not Plutarch. 2002? 2002. What's your point? What's the point?

I'm just saying it's modern. It's very modern to be like, you know they were all gay? Right. But there's a reality. So this is a thousand years later. Right, but there's a reality of, like, boy lovers and Socrates and all these guys. But, like, immediately at this table, we bring up Greeks. It's like, you know, they fucked guys?

Like, that's... Well, not just Greeks. It was also Romans. It was also Japanese. The samurai did it. Everybody fucked guys. Yeah. We're still fucking guys.

It's also in the Islamic world. It's a big problem, you know, the fucking dancing boys in Afghanistan. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hard to think about some soldier was stationed there, and they were like, saw all that stuff. Oh, yeah, man love Thursdays or whatever. Really?

We're not here for that. Whoa, mama. Not in the, what is this? What are you pulling up? I just asked if the Spartan Army was gay. Not in the modern sense of uniformly gay army. Ancient Spartans did not use sexual orientation categories like gay straight. And Spartan men were generally expected to marry women and produce citizen children,

same-sex desire and age-structured male relationships existed. They just did gay shit. They weren't gay. Yeah, they did a lot of gay shit. Right, right. It was prison shit. Yeah. Is it true?

And this is, you know, again, I saw a real. In the Middle East, there's more trans people. In Iran. Sorry, in Iran, because... It's illegal to be gay. You can't be gay, so become a woman. Exactly. Is that real?

That's real. And trans is okay, because at least you're banging a lady. Dude, I am fucked up. Let's get one more beer. I am. I'm going to bar. Do we get dinner? What do you guys want to?

Let's fucking go. We go to the club? What's the story? Doing both of those things. All right. Food? Then we'll go out with DeRosa. I'm not doing to stay.

I'm not doing a stand-up. You not? I'm not doing a stand-up type. No, I'm going to go to Rosa. Yeah, we don't have. Connect with DeRosa. We got to figure out. I mean, it's still five.

It's not even night time. It'll start like seven or eight. I could also go home and sleep. Boys, let's go. Come on. Push it. We've definitely got to eat. We had like two hours sleep last night because I ate like 50 fucking nicotine pouches.

Oh, yeah. I was lying in bed. I couldn't sleep. That's why I'd say, let's just drink here for another hour. You're not like anyone else. What do you mean? What way? You recover in a way that seems suspect.

Yeah, it's weird. It is suspect. I'm from a different time. It's like I have a genes of Joe Roken 2 like Gallagher. Yeah, you're Rick Springfield. I have different genes. I have a primitive genes. It's a fucking illusionist or.

I got a lot of Neanderthal. There's two of these fucking guys. I got Neanderthal jeans, man. That's a fact. All right. Well, how about this? Let's go get some pizza. How about we drink for another hour?

And then, because otherwise we're stuck here. What do you want to eat? I'm saying five to, he's got a show at seven. But we got to start drinking with De Rosa. Yeah, but that's later. Are you doing my show? Seven or eight. I'll do the show.

Norman's doing a show. He's doing a show. He's going to go out and fucking party with De Rosa. Come on with us. I'll do that too. No, I have to do a show. De Rosa's going to be. You can come for a little bit.

You're closing out the show. Yeah, but I want to be there. It's fun. I'll be there in the mix of things. Dr. Dr. Dr. Rosa will also be fun. And Tony.

Yeah, but it'll be fun. Edge? Tony. Hinchcliff's on the show with me. He's canceling. No chance he cancels. Shut up. Ian Edwards is in town.

Oh, really? Yeah, he's on the show tonight too. He's underrated. He doesn't even eat vegetables. This lives off air. Photosynthesis. He's going off the sun. I used to take pictures every time we go on the road together of him sleeping on the plane

because he was a vegan. I was like he's always tired. And one time he caught me sleeping. I'm like, this motherfucker. There's a video of him smiling. A giant look. I'm like, I got you once. Yeah, you got me.

I just posted on Twitter, we were about to take off. And I just, I took a picture of you, open a mouth like that. And I go, do what you will. And then we took off. And then five hours spent it was like that AIDS lady to Africa, you landed. You turned your phone. And I was like, mm. It was a thousand in Photoshop.

That's the thing that bothered me about those goddamn nicotine pouches. I can always sleep. I can always sleep. Yeah. And last night I was like I can't fucking sleep and I'm like I had 20 nicotine pouches You got a chill at least had 20 that's crazy no crazy I just kept popping them in We were having fun we were laughing we were just joking I just kept throwing them in my mouth and then when I got home at night I was like all right I'm done with those You're wide awake just feel like heart beating they fucking work I mean I was first 25 30 minute

I was really like uncomfortable you do develop a tolerance for them yeah obviously you know Shane can pop them all day long Yeah, everybody in New York I see has that circle in their pocket. Every guy from 20 to 50 has that circle. They're addicted, but not that much, really. Like, I went on vacation and I didn't bring any with me, and that was fine. They say it's the most addictive. Didn't bother me at all. Yeah, I'm not sure if that's true.

But it's not bad for me. Maybe I'm different, because I don't, whatever it is, I don't seem, the addiction thing to me is, like, I get it. I get the pull. Chemical addiction. Yeah. I didn't have any withdrawals. There was no shakes, like weird, I need nicotine. There was nothing.

Yeah, I'd be those people who were like, I'll smoke one cigarette. The only thing they've ever felt that really got me was caffeine. I was drinking these sodas. They had these sodas that you could buy in, like, liquor stores in L.A. That were filled with caffeine, and I would write. They were like death soda. It was like skulls on them, and they were blue, and they had, like, hot sauce on that shit. They were crazy sodas.

That's gas station shit. They were really good. and I got addicted to him and I'd buy them by the case and when I would write I would drink these sodas and then I decided let me take some time off of caffeine I got fucking headaches Yes same

I remember that Real headache yeah yeah I was like What does that teach you and you go don't quit Alright That's all right fair That's like Castro Remember they told him to quit smoking cigars He's like I smoke 50 cigars a day

And like you gotta cut back So he made one giant cigar Churchill Was it Churchill? Was it Churchill? This is this big long one. Yeah. He's like, I didn't want a day. Well, I imagine you live in Cuba.

You've got the best cigars in the world. Also, you're the king of Cuba. I've never had a Cuban. They're not much different. They're not much different. All right. The Dominican ones, the Nicaragua ones are very good. Nowadays, Cubaners are not the best anymore.

They're still really elite, but there's a lot of fakes. China bought them out, and they cut. They slashed ingredients and, like, quality. Oh, did they? Because they're, like, all the Chinese people just want, and that's a billion people. want like to say I have a Cuban so they want to eat tiger dick tea and smoke as Cuban cigar there was a restaurant in China where you could go and they had like a it was like a quarterly or a you know semi-annually thing where you can go and you

could have like all endangered species what had a menu whoa oh you could eat gorilla you could eat like whatever you want underage girl for sure there's some place somewhere where someone's ate a kid right oh yeah that was the Freaky thing about the Epstein files, when you hear about jerky, and you're like, what does that mean? Oh, shit. Dude, there's no way they weren't eating people. It's not everybody has a thing about fucking kids. There's anything they wanted was there.

Yeah, the most, if you get to a certain level of wealth and the most forbidden thing is probably like sacrifice of a child. For sure, that's happened in history. Yeah. In history, we know it's happened 100%. No if, fans or butts. So the question is whether or not it still happens. Yikes. Yeah.

Ugh. It's the most forbidden thing of all time. What's more forbidden than eating a kid? Oh, my God. The Native Americans would throw the virgin in the volcano. I saw a real. You saw a real? King Kong?

What are you talking about? Didn't they sacrifice virgins? What were in America? That was the thing about the sacrifice. The American. The American is a volcano. I do that in there for effect. But wouldn't they kill a virgin?

Everybody did that. All right, well, there you go. Literally from the beginning of time, people have been killing people. But why the virgin? For sacrifice. Wouldn't you be a whore it up just to get by? I think maybe post-Christianity we tossed in the whole virgin thing. Well, no, there was a time where people thought that you had to sacrifice human beings in order to make, like, prosperity and wealth.

For sure. But I was saying the virgin thing. You had to sacrifice people that were valuable. The most valuable people, the most pure. and so it makes sense that these fucking psychos In parts of Africa Where they were like

You can cure AIDS by fucking a virgin Oh yeah And so they're like How do you get a virgin? I mean 10 year olds are all virgins Yeah it was like 2010 Yeah it was like pretty pretty set there Oh yeah

That's probably Chappelle one of his greatest bits About AIDS It was like someone Fuck the monkey He was like you know how hard it is To fuck a monkey Yeah

Snap you dick like a celery stuck Think about holding a monkey down and fucking it's crazy The idea that somebody fucked a monkey, virgin sacrifice actually is far more common as a mythic and literally motif than as a well-documented historical ritual. Actual human sacrifice occurred in some ancient societies, but evidence that victims specifically were chosen for sexually virginity is generally sparse and often uncertain. But yeah, it's because people probably don't talk about it too. You know it was more... No, like in our culture we're like they sacrificed a virgin.

Right. That's in movies and shows and shit, but they were just sacrificing. Everybody, you know what? They were sacrificing poor people. At the Mayan ruins, they would take kings they conquered, kings of their society, and tie them to a giant stone wheel and then push them down. It was like 600 yards down. They would tie like this and just murdered. Whoa. And they survived.

They're like, that's dishonorable. Whoa. Yeah, they weren't virgins. I think it was a good thing Spanish showed up and gave them what for? To be quite honest. A hundred percent. Hey, no more. A hundred percent.

Bro, they sacrificed somewhere in the neighborhood between 20 and 80,000 people. When the Aztecs consecrated the temple of Tenochtalan. Damn. Yeah, between 20 to 80,000 people. This guy named... How many people died in the Spanish? His name was Diaz and he came over, like he was a historical chronicler. And he documented what the Spanish did and one.

when they came over here. And one of the things that he did is he came over in the early days. Because the Spanish, when they first arrived, we're trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with the Aztecs. Oh, 5,000. The number executed by Spanish Inquisition.

But this is the Inquisition. No, I know. I just wanted to compare it to. Oh, okay. How much were the Aztex sacrificing? Okay. In the context, well, they don't know if it's accurate, but they do know this one historical chronicle.

The fucking, what are you fucking white in the asses? No. I've run this through perplexity. This guy, Diaz, said that 80,000 people were sacrificed over the course of four days. Whoa. Wait, what? Yeah. That's a lot of work.

It was the consecration of the temple. This is what's really crazy about the Aztecs. They didn't make any of those things. They moved in. They moved in. And they called it the land where the gods were born. And all these temples and all these insane pyramids, they didn't make any of them. They were all made by unknown people that were.

as many as a thousand years before them. They have no idea. They have no idea. But not only was there, but it was covered. It was covered with jungle. They had to like chop down to jungle and they found all the shit and they moved in. They found a city?

Yeah. Dude, they're still finding cities. They're still finding these Aztec cities. You're driving on the freeway there and you see these like mountains that are like Yeah, that's his name. Like it's clearly cool. Do you get some photos of that? His name is Duran, not Diaz.

Interesting. 16th century account, 80,400 people were sacrificed during the four-day, 1487. Yeah, rededication of Finochetlawn's Temple Mayor. I like that correction. Not 80,000 exactly. No, no, just right.

No, it's wrong. It was actually 72,344. Yeah. Wow. Historians treat Durant's figures as highly doubtful, not an established count. Other early sources give sharply different totals. The Codex Telleriano, Ramesses. Remensis, text says 4,000, while interpreting its pictorial numbers alongside text can reduce

20,000. Another chronicle, another chronicle, Torgamata gave it 72,000. At the very least, it's thousands and thousands of people were killed. To compare the Spanish Inquisition to one day in Aztec Empire. Yeah. I'm just saying. Not even one day. It's a good thing that the boys showed up and said, you know.

Crazy? Shut it down, fellas. Chill, bro. How about a thousand a day? Apocalypse? Oh, yeah. That's a hell of a picture. Apocalypse is a good movie.

It's a fucking phenomenal movie. I mean, this place was Mexico was wild. It was wild. Good thing they cleaned their act. I wonder what they called it back then, because it wasn't Mexico. It wasn't Mexico until 1820. United States of Mexico. They owned this, they owned Texas from, I think,

1821 to 1816. Or rather 1821 to 1836. Took California very easily. Check out your boy Polk. Polk, exactly. Top five, bro. Yeah, he was a wild man.

Polk rules. I throw Andrew Jackson in there. You got two-thirds of the entire country? One-third of the entire country. You ever look at Bolivar? Yeah. Bollivar ruled. Bollivar rule.

He was just going in. What did he do? He took over all Latin America. South America Revolution. What year? 18s 18s And then he had this general sucre

That was a fucking A beast And then Santander Imagine if we didn't intervene With Pablo Escobar Imagine if we didn't get involved Let the boy rock Let him snort

Let him cook We're not going to let somebody Literally cook Let him cook We're not going to let somebody make money Like that without us Well that's part of the problem And we're buying it

Yeah We're selling it We'll bring it in That's us Bill Bill Clinton Whoa. Meena, Arkansas. Yeah.

True. They brought it in. Really? Yeah, Barry Seals. Barry Seals was a CIA pilot who was flying drugs in. Is that the movie? Uh-huh. American-made?

Yep. Good movie. But Tom Cruise is handsome. Like, Barry Seals was disgusting. Pull him up. Hey. Yeah. I'll talk about Barry like that.

Oh. Good guy. He knows. Doing the best. Like, come on. That's a handsome guy. God, almighty. It looks good.

It looks like he knows the line on everything. Gray fucking. line and dudes. So funny to me. They should have hired me for that. That's true. It was a pretty funny movie. That's true.

It was a pretty funny movie. And there's a real scene where he gets, where Tom Cruise, Barry Seals, Tom Cruise playing Barry Seals, gets arrested, and Bill Clinton gets him out of jail. Hey, how about that?

Mina, Arkansas. It was all, he was the governor of Arkansas at the time. What's the reason? Because they were bringing Coke into Arkansas. They found out because these two kids got killed and they said that they did drugs and fell asleep on the train track. But their parents didn't believe it.

So the parents funded an autopsy. They paid for an autopsy. The autopsy found knife wounds. These kids had been stabbed. So what happened was these kids had witnessed the Coke drop. So what he would do is he'd fly over. He would throw the Coke out of the airplane with like parachutes or whatever. It would land on the ground and then he would land and they would go back and pick up the Coke.

where these kids found the Coke. And then they went to go grab the Coke, and these kids were with the Coke, and they killed the kids. And they killed the kids and laid their bodies on train tracks. Pretty good. And so this was what started. That's how people found out about the fact

they were moving Coke in through Mina, Arkansas. So Barry Seals was going to turn state's evidence, and he was going to testify, and he got murdered. And when he got murdered on his way to trial, he had George Bush's phone number in his pocket. Whoa. This is good stuff. almost ended the pod.

It's a good way to end it. This was good stuff. No, it's not a good way to end it. We still got another... I was saying, yeah, glad we didn't have to. We got to eat. Do you guys got to go out with DeRosa? Got to get old meat.

We've been doing this for four hours. Oh, is it there? Jeez. I've got to eat something. What's going to eat? You don't have anything to do. The fuck. I have to eat.

I thought we were going to drink. You got to eat. You got to eat. As opposed to what you're getting over there in fucking England. They're giving you gruel. Like, blood pudding. They're giving you.

It's good. I like food. They do like beans. They won't even let you have an apartment. They won't even let you have an apartment. England's great. You sneak over here. You can get a fucking free health care.

You get a cell phone. Schultz was like, do you miss New York real estate? I'm like, oh my God, I do. Wow. Well, that's just in your blood. Well, why do you want to stay? I like friction. You like chaos.

You like to live, damn it. Bill Clinton consistently denied any knowledge or involvement in Seals operations of the median logistics during this. Ted U.S. Governor. Federal investigations did not produce evidence implicating Clinton. Interesting. Interesting. No way. Interesting.

It's a slippery. They put it in the fucking movie and no one got sued. That's all you need to know. They put it in the movie and no one got sued. He gets away with everything. I mean, he's in a hot tub with a lady. They got photos.

He's living with Hillary. That dude lives in hell. He He was, I just saw him recently that was nice about him and Monica Lewinsky If that happened today She would have been born in 04 And he would have been born in 77

Oh yeah The age difference is wild Yeah Isn't that wild? Well it's wild That 77 to 04 Before the internet Presidents just

Slade Fucked Oh man Yeah Slade LBJ used to take shits With his fucking Stall door open

while he was talking to the press. Yeah. It was like a famous thing. He would like to take a shit while they all like. It would stand out. They would stand outside of his toilet and ask him questions. On Nates. Trump doing that?

The world was different then. I heard Trump, who had that lunch with Trump and he said he drank 14 Diet Coke's in an hour? Wow. Pull that up if you can, Jaybo. 14's right up on a liberal internet. That doesn't even make sense. That's a lot of Diet Coke. Just the volume of liquor.

Maybe it was too. Liquid, rather. Just says he drinks 12 in a day, maybe. Oh. That makes more. So much different. I saw a reel. I believe that.

12 is a lot. You guys stop watching these reels and letting them dictate your reality. I know. You're dead sending me. It is kind of amazing that he's 80. I should get on that. No, I think he just turned 80. Oh, really?

I think Trump just turned 80. Oh, he's only 80? I think his birthday was at the White House when we were at the UFC. That was for his birthday. That's why they did it in June. And not like July 4th. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

They did it June 14th, I believe, because it was Trump's birthday. Ah. That's great. 80. At some point, you can't relate to most of the populations. 100%. You don't know what college loans are. Yeah.

Impossible. You can't relate to any human honor. Yeah. Listen, it gets these levels. Like, Shane can't relate to most people right now, right? I can relate to a lot of people. A lot of people. Less people.

And it's slowly going to get weirder. Nah. Hey, guys. You got a change the tire in your Maybock? Trust me. You said it about my Maybock. What, you got a Maybock? Yeah.

It's pretty embarrassing. Meanwhile, you're talking about a used Tesla. Step up your game, son. Is it here? No, it's in my house. Oh, I guess you're drinking. Yeah, I got to see that Maybach. Well, it's clearly for a car that has a driver.

Oh. So I'm just driving a very nice backseat. Yeah, but it's still, it's even driving. It's so smooth. It's cool, but I bought it and I left Austin for like a month. And then I came back and I was like, What am I doing? Why would I ever have this?

This is very embarrassing. Well, the other one was so great. The other one was great. What was wrong with the other one? A tree fell on it. That's right? Forget about that. Is that the one where the seats would hug you when you went on a turn?

Yeah. Bro, I went with them. We went to the dealership and I told the dealer to shut up so I could sell it. I'm like, I know everything about this car. I'm going to sell it to my friend. I'm going to get a Honda of a court. I don't need this. and he was like, you want this.

You got to get this. I took him to the Mercedes dealership. I explained to him about the S-Class. Oh, nice. Oh, bro. Whoa, Mama. That car is, that's like a Batmobile. Tracy got that after the accident money.

He's driving sick cars around the board. Walmart. Yeah, that's a crazy car to drive in New York. That's crazy. There's a Ferrari. It looks like he's made all his money on craps. Tracy Morgan. Look that outfit.

Funny. He's got a lot of cars. He does. He does. He's just driving through like time square in him. And comedians and cars they go to his house.

Click on that one where your cursor is. Look at that. He's got a Lambo roadster. Jesus. Jesus. Yeah, baby. Fun, but where are you going to park it? And driving that thing in New York City

is crazy. Every time I go to New York City, I'm like, this is so nuts. How does anybody drive here? It's a wild place to live. New York City rules. You still got that little. I love it. I do. I drove it the other day. That car runs like a Kenyan. I've never had a problem with it. It's so good. I wash it outside my house like an American. Just hose, bucket, sponge. It felt good. Yeah, 2002, right? Yeah. The roundie. The round tail lights.

Great little old car. Those little old ones, those 2002 BMWs. Was it from a 70s? 73. Yeah, it's a fucking great car. Great car. No AC, no registration, no insurance. Manual. I'm riding dirty, yeah. No insurance? I tried to fill it out. I couldn't do it. What does that mean? I tried to get the forms and all that. They're going to target you now.

You can't say that on the air. Oh. It's illegal. Well, I've been doing it for years. I have insurance. I have insurance. I've been doing it for years. I have insurance.

I don't have health insurance either. You don't? I got to figure that one out. Wow. I'm not good with forms. Yeah, me too. I get like. I just black out.

I gloss over. Yeah. You got to get a guy. I got to get a guy. I need a Jew, R.E. Yeah. Sometimes the problem is, like, I'm paying $600 from them. I'll fill out the form.

And then you're like, oh. Well, here's the thing. I haven't had health insurance in years, and I've never had a health problem. Yeah. So I feel like I saved thousands and thousands, tens of thousand dollars. You definitely did. Well, then you feel like, we know. Free health care.

What do we do? Like, when you find out about how many people that have real legitimate claims and get denied because the insurance companies just want to fuck you. Right. I was talking to Brigham. They said 10% of people that get to not. I'd follow up. So that's their business model.

It's like, just say no and hopefully they go away. We looked this up last time. It costs Americans more to have private health care than public. Wow. I believe it. Wow. So what are we doing? Let's get it going, folks.

We've got to get rid of these gay lobbies. Yeah. It costs, say that again? It costs Americans what? It costs more to have private health care than public. It costs more. To have private health care? Yeah.

It costs average Americans pay more for private health care than it would cause. to have... Right. I think you're saying. Okay. Because most things private... I get why you're confused. Private sounds better.

Oh, private. Private security costs more than... Whatever, but... I'm probably wording that wrong. You know what I mean. Yeah. I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying.

Yeah. See, this is a good podcast. People want to hear us... Solid, drunk talking about... Super good opinions. Jamie Grant. Jamie, bring up... Robert E. Lee.

Football guys. He'll be... Not a start on. Freebird. Don't get me started on custard. Well, I mean, Freebird. Teddy, Teddy, I know it's hack, but Teddy Roosevelt. That's a fun story. Polk's a deep cut. Polk's somebody got to do. Polk, I love. Pulk rules.

Teddy Roosevelt's the reason why we have National Parks. Yeah. Yes. A lot of stuff. He did a lot of shit. Tegroza retired from president and go, I'm just going to risk my life. But I think it was Teddy who did the called the Square Deal, which is kind of what we're approaching, which he broke up all the guys that were

making all the money the 1% basically. Yeah. They called it the Square Deal? Was that Teddy? Wow. Yeah, focused on the three Cs. Fair Consumer Protection and Control of Giant Corporations and Conservation of Natural Resources. We're getting close to... Yellowstone is all him. Where somebody's willing to

abuse their executive power to shut down whatever the fuck we're doing right now. The thing is, like, don't you think that big business and corporations and super PACs and all these different things have gotten so deeply entwined in politics that if a guy ever tried to do anything remotely like that, they'd kill him.

Yeah, we went too far. I mean, look, we thought Trump was going to do it. It's clearly he's not going to do any of those things. He's not going to do any of those things they said. You know, we're going to have to get one or two guys are going to have to get shot in the head. Yeah. I'm not going to do it. Or something else is going to have to happen.

Some other radical change. They're so intertwined now. It's like you can't exactly. There's so much dirty money. Yeah, what are we going to give up, fellas? No. We can't lose it. No.

We got a good thing going. It's funny how... It didn't kill the politicians. Slowly but surely, people try to turn everything into some sort of a totalitarian government. They slowly want more and more power, more and more control. They want to siphon more and more money. It's just overtime. That's always what you're fighting against.

Always. But don't you feel like we're at a boiling point? It feels like something's going to happen. Yeah, it's a pitchfork era. Something should happen because if it doesn't happen, then we're all going to be fucked. No one could get a home. No one can pay their bills. Everyone's been with roommates of 35.

Yeah, we're talking about communism again. Except the Upper West Side where your people live. Yeah. It's like devoid of flock cameras. I did see that, actually. Is that very weird? Yeah. One section.

What's the impact city, Jamie? Yeah. One section in New York City is devoid of flock cameras. What's a flock camera? It's these weird fucking cameras that are everywhere. AI is going to say that's not true. Everything's fine. Everything's fine.

Everything's fine. Everything's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's by cameras? Yeah. Those cameras that are everywhere. I had Mark Andresen on

who invests in flock cameras and it was right at see there that's the spot Up to our side Well half of that is Fact of that is Central Park Shut the fuck up bitch The flock cameras are in Central Park But the rest is

Yeah Of course you defend it Well I mean just like Obviously you defend it Just like move that red line up On the other side That's a spot cameras on the other side That out of a lot

Shut up But there's Jews all over broke up Why don't you put a little box in your forehead And shut the fuck up It's just the wealthy It is the wealthy It's probably that too It's probably wealthy

Yeah but that's Upper West side is very expensive real estate Jewish people It is but it's Listen it's not 100% There's a ton of fucking Gentiles In the Upper West Side It's just rich people

That's really what it is I bet Upper East side is probably pretty fucking similar It's very sparse With flock cameras The upper west side is notably Jewish Yeah true but in terms of flock cameras.

I wonder if they're singling out the upper west side versus the upper east side. I bet the upper east side, which is also like super wealthy. I bet they don't have a lot of flock cameras either. And for what? They can like rob cars? They're not flock brand. Sorry for the confusion. However, there are a few flock cams in New York City.

So there's just a bunch of security cameras all over the place that we didn't see coming. So the thing is, it's like within two years, there's been hundreds. Hundreds of thousands of these cameras installed all over the country. Police state. Yeah. And real quick. Like before you even saw it happening. I mean, they're everywhere there.

They're everywhere. You can't. I've looked to see what I can shoplift. I'm like, damn, those cameras everywhere here. Yeah. It's a tough time. Something's got to give. What happened here?

It's a tough time and an awesome time at the same time. That's true. Yeah, it is true. Let's look at the positive. There's a lot of great shit going on. Yeah. There's a college football coming that they're trying to ruin. Yeah.

Who's trying to ruin it? NIO, not a big deal. In what way? Trying to take it away? Don't get me started. What are they trying to do? They created two super conferences. I mean, the whole thing's a disaster, Joe.

Also, the gambling on basketball now. Players are just fully throwing games. You see that? The gambling's out of control. It began. It was crazy. It was crazy. Polymarket, all that shit.

Wow. But I'm torn on that. I feel like I like the fact that you can gamble on anything if you want to. Can you gamble on when the next projector parks is? Is that a cashy thing you can do? You can. I bet you could. I bet that's a polymarket thing.

But we don't even know. Like, how do they know? But we will. Yeah. Well, Jamie pulled up. There was a polymarket thing. There was a polymarket thing on this podcast. There was a thing on this podcast that Jamie pulled up.

I go, close that website and never open it up again. You can't know what people are gambling on. Oh. You know? Because it can't influence you. Also, like, I don't want anybody else to know either what they're gambling on. Like, I don't, you, they'll get you. But.

Gambling's tough. It's going to ruin the side. Didn't that fucking congressman guy who got acquitted the gay guy? Yes. The guy from Brazil? Oh. The guy from Brazil? No, no, no.

What's his name? Polo. The one who lies about a bunch of stuff. Yes. I swear to get. Hosef. Jamie, you know what I'm talking about? Chubby boy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chubby gay guy. Funny dude. Funny dude. Lindsey Graham. George Santos. George Santos. There was something about him saying that he was going to show up at some

State of the Union speech. I'm definitely showing up, and then he bet that he wouldn't show up. Wow. And he didn't show up. That's pretty smart. Allegedly. Allegedly. DOJ is investigating former Congressman George Santos for insider trading on Kalshi.

Yeah, hilarious. You can't insider trade on Kalshi? But, I mean, it's like, like, they can kind of get you. It was like, why are you lying about everything? He's like, oh, he lied about everything. He lied about being Jewish. He said, no, no, no, I'm Jew-ish. I'm kind of

I'm like a I like it He's like fucking totally full of shit But I'm just saying I'm like frugal I get a lot of diarrhea I get a lot of diarrhea You should go to a doctor dude

You shouldn't just deal with that But I think the internet is a big part of why we're so fucked But you can't get rid of the internet Well I hate regulation but you gotta do something with it So what do we do? That's what I'm saying? You got to start regulating that It's so bad for people

It's horrible Well you got to teach people to stay off it. But also, you got to be like, guys, you can't use the society. You're turning everyone against each other. And the problem is they've made, they've made so much money doing it. And there's so much money now that these corporations are holding that they have so much influence over politicians. It's really an extraordinary time where these tech oligarchs are really in control of a giant chunk of the narrative that shapes society, shapes our economy, shapes our social systems, shapes everything. There's so much going on right now.

that it's being manipulated by just a small amount of people. It's kind of fucking nuts, and nobody saw it coming. They make comedians turn another comedian so they could sell everybody's snickers. I've got to pee again. Have you not gone yet? Not yet. He's had three drinks. I'll see you in hell.

He's on his third. Hey, beer bong, a couple of other beers, whiskey. I'm blown out. This is your second whiskey. Third whiskey. A little dram. Give me a dram of that. Hit it, baby.

Can you catch it? Yes. That's a lot of glass. You gotta toss it over that. Yeah. That's short. Oh, sorry. I came back for it.

Steve Larger. You got it. You got it. All right. All right, J-mo, toss up. We get to figure out what we're doing tonight. Because I don't want you to go to bed. If you go home, it's over.

I'll go out. I'll go out. I'm just, I'm not doing stand-up right now. No, I'm not doing stand-up tonight. Oh, really? Yeah, we're going out. Should I not do stand-up right now? Should I not do stand-up?

Yeah. We're going to be till 9.30 before we get out of there. It's like, we're going to start. Yeah, I'm definitely. I'm not going to the club. O'Neill's coming out. Edge is coming out. Oh, nice.

O'Connor. I keep saying, Edgar. The Edge. I didn't know his nickname either. How do we know his nickname? Call him the Edge? Who started calling him the Edge? Tony.

Tony calls him the Edge. We all do. I'll never get the edge. Dude, if you're getting your juice from Tony, you're gay. No, we all do. That's right. Tony calls him the edge. We all call him the edge.

Did y'all go to the garden? You guys were in town. I was in London, England. I was in Charleston, South Carolina. I was an S.F. That's a great town. San Francisco rules. San Francisco does rule.

It's on its way back. I always thought it ruled even in its darkest hour. I thought it was a good thing. I like the signs they put up like, hey, if you leave anything in the car, it won't be there. Yeah. It's not even like, hey, we'll try to help. It's like, just don't do that. Yeah, it's super rich people.

It's a good bar hop in town. Yeah, the old bars. Yes, yes. The water. The Chinese food. The Italian food, North Beach. Oh, Italian food, too. It's great there.

San Francisco does rule. Oh, my God. Great town. You could walk across the whole place. It's great if you like the smell of human shit. There is some human shit. It's amazing if you like the smell of human shit. You got to ignore that.

You got to ignore it. Yeah, it's good if you're a black lad. If you're a golden retriever, you're going to love it. The whole city is. Hobos, homos and waymos. Yeah. You'd be like, what the whole? Chinatown of the summer.

What is this? Oh my God. Bring a dog there. Trust me. You don't even know where to piss. Like, it was crazy. I'm just going to see a squat right here. This place is nuts.

It's giant toilet. Well, a hunk is. He used to be so good. Dude, I did a special there in 2016, and there was nothing wrong with the city. Where? At the Fillmore. At the San Francisco.

And it was amazing. Triggered. I did trigger it at the Fillmore. It's back. Their new mayor is like, we got to get live music here because if people don't go out, it won't rebirth.

The new mayor is ready to clean things up. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's on it. Starting with live music. You got to have people come out to stuff. You've got to patrol the streets. You've got to clean up the homeless encampments.

You've got to put people in mental institutions. You've got to get them clean. Use Alcatraz. It's right there. It's going to take time. It's like they fucked it up over the period of eight to ten years. It's going to take 30 to fix it. It's going to take so long to fix it.

It's always been homeless. And there's so many people that are so attached to that whole ideology. There's great spots. There's great. Not always, but like 20 years. Where we're at right now? No, no, I'm saying. It's like 10 times.

Sorry, listen to me. I'm older than you. America is like 10 times. I remember during the Reagan administration. Yeah. During the Reagan. Here to, it's not, I'm saying it's not just it got bad there.

There's always been. During the Reagan administration, that's when homeless people really started becoming a thing because they changed the whole distinction with mental institutions. they let people go. And they just let them out.

And they were just wandering around. It was noticeable. And I remember this. And then it really didn't fucking change until like 2016, 17. Then you started to see tents. And it's like, this is weird. They're just allowing tents. And then 18, 19, it ramped up.

And then during the pandemic, it just caught fire. Yeah. Yeah, it's bad. LA was like just downtown, a little pocket. And then it spread all the way to like DSW. Oh, it wasn't a little pocket, dude. I was filming Fear Factor there. No, 55.

Skid Row is 55 blocks. It spread all the way down sunset. It's everywhere. It was just a middle block. Skid row is a... Dude, it's the whole city. Yeah, the city is great, but the solid 55 blocks is Skid Row. It's wild.

Burn it. Dude. Burn it. If we're zombies, we'd just throw bombs on it. Send bears out there. Something just run them over, kill them. You got to do something. Well, I was in the tenderloin at a hotel, and they go,

I go, what should I do around here? I was asking the desolating. And she just goes, don't turn right. Wow. Don't turn. That's the hotel lady. Don't go to the right. Just go left.

Like, that's half the city. Meanwhile, what's the invisible barrier? They have dog collars on with electricity? Like, what's stopping them from going left? New York's good right now. New York's fine. Yeah, it's safe. The best quote about it.

Regular homeless. Yeah, regular. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, the problem, New York City homeless doesn't got out of line because every 10 years or so, we burn one alive. And that's so they know their place.

An immigrant shows up and lights one on fire and you go, alright. Keep you in checking. Now they're all like tap dancing and shit. At least a New York homeless guy has got like moves. Yeah, well, I always had a preference for East Coast homeless because they were a heroin. They were asleep. And they go away in the winter. They don't breathe during the winter.

They're sleeping. They dance. West Coast homeless are all meth. They'll scream and chase you. Oh, you go to Salt Lake City. You get chased. They have bad homes? Oh.

Salt Lake City's bad for homeless. Every single. Yeah. That was quick. That was quick. That was quick. I started standing up out in Salt Lake. I was like, this is the best city.

Yeah. This is the cleanest, nicest city. Wise guys, yeah, beautiful. And then on the way in, I was telling my buddies, I was like, wait until you see how nice this is. And we landed in there's 10 homeless guys chasing us. Right. And then you're going to bring up young, and it's like utopia, that campus. Yeah, the Mormons.

The Mormons don't fucking around. Homeless, yeah. But yeah, Salt Lake. I don't know why no one's talking about that in politics. Homelessness? Homelessness and fent, yeah Clean it up They are

They don't see any party talking about it I mean they do when it comes around It's insensitive The problem is there's so much money In maintaining it That's true Money and homelessness What a concept

But like they're breaking in a rich people's cars $24 billion $1,000 California spent And done nothing but increase the homelessness The wrong area burned And every city Every big city

It explodes Yep And it's recent It's a new thing And, you know, L.A. has had Skid Row forever because what they used to do with Skid Row is they would take people from, like, if there was a vagrant in Hollywood, they would take them, and they would just put them in Skid Row. They would stay here. And they would literally, like, block them in. They would give them, like, food and services.

But it was so small for so long. It wasn't that small, dude. It's an illusion. I was filming Fear Factor there in, like, 2004 or five, and I was driving home, and I took the wrong turn. I was like, what the fuck? It was just blocks and blocks of cardboard. Even back then. Yes.

And it was only Skid Row. Skid Row was nuts, man. Even then it was nuts. Now it's 55 blocks. Do you understand how insane that is? Like what 55 blocks looks like? I know. It's always been that size, I think.

Yeah, no. Back in the 30s, there was somewhere in the range of 10,000 homeless people there, and there's 4,400 now. There's zero chance of 40. There's more homeless people now than there were in the 30s? Or in the 30s, there was more than there is now? No. That's crazy.

That was the population of L.A. Wait a minute. How many are there now? How many other now? It says 4,400. Shut the fuck. That's not true. That's not true.

That's not true. Liberal.com. You ever get an AI answer and they go, are you sure about that? They go, yeah, good point. Jamie's a goddamn Fed. This is crazy. This is all Karen Bass, her statistics. It's all lies.

There's no. There's no. It's estimated. It's now estimated $4,400. The population has been there since the 30s. It wasn't that number. It was more in the 30s as well. Okay, but put this estimate in.

How many homeless people are there in L.A.? Because the estimate is somewhere north of 70,000. I think it's spread past get rid of. I don't think it's condensed there. Citation. Which one? Number four. What was it? Estimated?

60 million. 2023, L.A. Times, liberal. Well. 2023, Biden administration. I don't believe it. There's 55 blocks is not 4,000 people. It's just not. It's a lot more than that.

They lie. I think it's past good row. Also, they're not showing up and saying, Mike, are you homeless? They're not. No, they chase you on a stick. Okay. Los Angeles has approximately 73,000 homeless people in Los Angeles County, and 45,000 are the city of Los Angeles.

There you go. And by the way, just to guess. They're not accurate. They're not doing a great job of it. And it says it's only a 3% increase over two years earlier, which is a lot. Shut your dirty hole, you lying communists. It's probably $100,000 in LA. They don't even know.

People move there just for the services. And the weather. Yeah, it's a great place to be homeless. You could survive sleeping on the street. You don't freeze stuff. Hang it outside, Trey's house. They say they're testing the fent on the dogs. What do you mean?

Do you hear that? No. They get the dogs fend and see the things. die? Yeah, see if it'll kill them so they hit dogs. Oh, my God. That's the rumor. Jesus Christ. It's all real.

Oh, God. The reels are nuts. I know. It's bad news. Mostly, yeah. That and your dad. Most people. Well, that's AI dogs and then I get, you know, like.

Boys, let's wrap this up. All right, all right. It's almost 6 o'clock. Everybody goes to see tires. It's on Netflix right now. Oh, yeah. Tires season 3. Everybody text message, Ari,

because I know you got his phone number and tell them to get the fuck out of England. But do find me mushrooms or weed I'm definitely doing that Mark Norman Where you're at Hey hey I'm all over the road Check my website I'm doing clubs

And building new hour We might be drunk Tuesdays of stories I got an hour on Netflix That came out this year We've done too pleased I'll see you all in hell Praise Allah

Comedybothership.com Love you guys Bye