The Joe Rogan Experience - #2555 - Ron White

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

Ron White is a comedian, actor, and author. He is currently on tour.  https://linktr.ee/ronwhite www.youtube.com/@ronwhitecomedywww.tatersalad.com Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Line of Fire premieres Monday, September 21st 10/9c after The Voice on NBC, and next day on Peacock. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/JRE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. I like him, though. I mean, a nice kid. I talked to him a little on the green room, and then I thought he had a pretty good set. He's funny. Matt's funny.

Matt Rife is very funny. What the fuck's going on? I don't get fucking crowd work. It's not my thing, but I get it. It's a tough skill. Some people are really good at it. I guess they are, but I won't let my opening act do it. Oh, it becomes a problem.

Because then they feel like they can talk to me, which they cannot. Yes. Because I just, I always looked at it as a time killer. Back when I had 41 minutes, but I was supposed to do 45 minutes. And I'm like, I got to talk to these fucking hayseeds for four minutes and get this thing wrapped up. But once I had the jokes, you know, I just do the fucking jokes. Yeah, I mean, I don't knock it. It's cool.

It's a different thing. It's a different thing. It relies on a very strong improvisational model. because like you're under the gun to come up with something funny to say. Yeah. But it is always funnier because it's under the gun than it would be in a normal circumstance, like the things that you're saying. But you can never use it again.

I mean, you can use the skill all the time. I mean, I guess some people are that good at it. Engram's really good at it. Rick Ingram, he's got a lot of like built-in stuff like material he could pull out too because he does it so often. Oh, yeah. So kind of blend the two together. Yeah, yeah.

He seamlessly integrates the two of them together. He's really good at it. Big Jay, Big Jay O'Kerson, he's really good at it. He's really good at it because he knows how to hold a moment. Yeah. He knows how to hold, like when someone says something ridiculous, he knows how to pause. He knows how to, like, he's got great storytelling. Yeah, he's a nice guy, too.

He's a great guy. But he also is a great comic. Like, he just does funny stand-up comedy on top of that. So it's like, yeah, the crowd work is nice, but it's not the only thing he does. Whereas some people, that's their whole thing. Well, I hear these young comics at the club. I got to work on my crowd work. I got to work on my crowd work.

I'm like, well, you don't, but. Is your Pat O'Neill's joke about that? I don't want to give it up on the air, but it's really hilarious. He's funny, man. That guy's a fuck. That guy's a joke machine. Pat O'Neill? I think Pat is, you know, I had him on my show, too, right after I saw him on Kill Tony.

So funny. And, you know, it's amazing. Kill Tony, what was the kid's name that opened last night? Oh, you weren't there Monday night. I was there a Monday night. the young kid he's uh from alabama do you know who i'm talking about i do know he just got the golden ticket yeah when i was hosting and you were there that night let me text to me find out it might not have been aired yet as it as it is fucking kid's hilarious he works at the club too cool kid too

and you know i was living in alabama decided to take a chance brent reed yeah brent reed he's opening for me tonight funny motherfucker dude and he was saying that's right because he was saying And like you said after you saw him on Kill Tony, hey, I'd like to have you open for me. And he was like, holy fucking shit, man. He had he called his dad. Yeah. He's like, he did it. I'm fucking opening for Ron White.

Yeah, right. His dad's giving him shit about his comedy career. Stand-up, you know, stand-up's not as funny as it used to be to me. It's very, very rare that I'll sit and watch somebody do stand-up and laugh out loud if I'm up on the balcony. But that kid cracked me up. He's very good. Great writing. What's amazing is that when he came back on Kiltony, he'd only been on one time.

One time. Actually not. And they already knew who he was. I mean, they gave him a round of applause. Like, it was one of the biggest comics on the country, and he'd been on once. Yeah. And the second time was... He'd actually...

I thought that, too. But he had actually been on before and bombed. And he talked about that. About how he came back, and this set... He was just, he'd been working at the club. He'd been living in Austin. It's way more comfortable. He built his act up.

And he was like, super honest about it. We're all chilling in the back. Very cool guy. We were just talking about it. He's like, yeah, I just had to get my shit together, man. I didn't figure out what the fuck I'm doing. And the first time I did, I kind of froze. But this time I was like, and this time he had to follow that other dude.

Who was that other dude who also got a golden ticket? Right, right. Two in a row. And that guy was funny. Have we seen him since? I haven't seen him since. But that guy's fucking talented. it too. He was very funny.

So they got two golden tickets in a row. Who was the other guy that got a golden ticket that right? He had a fun name. Like a made-up name. Give me a second, sorry. Yeah, it was like, sir... I remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. But it was hilarious.

It was ridiculous. Whatever his name was, was ridiculous. So I just got back from Lake Como and Verona and Zermott, Switzerland. Oh, damn, dude. Fucking 20, 21 days. Wow. Of just pure relaxation. And I got to tell you, I dug every goddamn minute of it. It was 107 degrees here in Texas.

It was, oh, the hot day is 62. Yeah, that guy right there. That is his name? It's French, I think. Yeah, I know. Francois something, right? I think it's a fake name. Does he say it?

Does he say it? I can't hear. I'm not finally. Now find it. Okay. Tell me what it is. But that dude is very funny too. Yeah, he's talented.

Super funny in the interview, too. Like, very funny back and forth. Just a funny dude. Right. So two golden tickets in a row. But anyway, that guy killed so hard that when the other guy came on after him, it's like, holy shit. Like, you got a tough spot here. And he murdered.

And he murdered, right, on top of it. Yeah. So when he opened for me, there were still a couple of jokes that didn't work. I mean, it wasn't like playing a kill-tony crowd. Right, right, right. Of course. It's your crowd. And so, but he got his putting back and, you know, and did a great job for me. So, and then is it Deidric, the other guy?

Yes, Dedrick. Yeah, Dedrick Flynn. Yeah. Fucking hilarious. I think he's one of the best around. Absolutely. Just his demeanor on stage. He's on the show tonight, too. And that's another dude that almost didn't, like, leave Atlanta.

He was stuck in Atlanta and just spinning his. wheels and he couldn't make it happen and then he came out here and got on Kiltoneum boom it's just such a great opportunity if you're ready for it if you're not it's just another passing moment and the crowds love it too I mean the crowds get it but if you're not ready it ain't it ain't gonna happen Steve Francois yeah comedy seller I think he has that added that's what he calls himself the comedy seller like S-E-L-L-E-R unlike the club that's right that was his crazy name the comedy seller but very

funny dude. Yeah, I mean, it's the greatest thing for comedians in the history of comedy in terms of having a real platform that if you've been banging it out on the road for seven, eight, nine, 10 years, you put together a solid half hour, hour, you're really starting to tour, you're middling for guys, you really starting to feel like a real comic. And you got one banger minute on Kill Tony. Boom! Next thing you know, you show up, like, look at all these guys. Look at Ari Maddie. R.Mattie goes on stage. They go fucking bananas now. Yeah, they do. William Montgomery.

They fucking, the black keys asked me to bring William Montgomery to the club. Because I was going up that night and they were coming to the club. They go, hey, is William Montgomery coming? I'll make sure he comes. I called him up. Fuck, man. It's so much fun. You know, and I, even though I enjoyed it when I first saw it out in L.A.,

I did not see, I did not have the vision that Tony has, you know, what it could be someday. I just thought it was a great idea. I didn't know if it would ever go anywhere, but good God. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. You can get almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Sorry, you can't get a beach delivered, but you can get a peach. A canoe? No.

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I go, this is going to be one of the biggest shows in comedy. I go, this is so unique and so huge and so different. And the way you host and the way you do it is different than the way anybody else would do it. And nobody else could do it. It's all him. He really is pure genius. the show is.

He's a genius host. People hate on that guy. You have no idea how talented he is. That improvisational talent that he has off the bat like that? Oh, I have an idea. Second and none. No.

Second and none. Second of none. It's incredible. I was telling him a lot. He's like, really? You think so? I go, do not ever stop doing this show. The show's going to be fucking huge.

And now it sells out Madison Square Card two nights in a row. Yeah, well, wish I could do that. It's amazing. I love it. I'm so happy for them. And it's so cool to watch. And it's such a positive karma show because all the comics that leave that show and they take off. Like, you know, it's just watching Cam Patterson on SNL, watching all these different comedians just sell out all over the country.

It's incredible. I love it, man. I love it when somebody hits it, you know. Well, it's great for all of us. It is. It's great for the club. It's great for the young people coming up to see that it's possible that someone else can make it there. It's like it's the new like Hollywood you got a sitcom thing, you know what I mean?

It's like very similar because back in those days like when one of your friends got a sitcom, like, holy shit, Mike got cast on fucking Bob's cousin, whatever the fuck it is. Right. Some stupid ass sitcom. And everybody was like, wow, maybe I can make it too. This is the new version of that. You're seeing guys. But now it's just stand up.

Like you have a real career and stand up from it. Right. Which is all I've ever done. right I might that's all I've ever is stand-up comedy and so that's kind of

a weird career you know not to be able to bounce to hear off of anything other than just jokes stand-up comedy's a weird career period

because you know everyone's like psychologically fragile right and then you're going through these ups and downs and you're trying to sell

tickets and you're trying to be relevant and something's got to happen something's got to right I mean there's got to be a catalyst Right. And for me, it was all, you know, the blue-collar comedy tour, which now people don't even remember what that is, but at one time it was a big deal, you know, and it...

I think most people in my age remember it. Most people are also shocked that there's not another one. Some other guys haven't figured out how to do something like that. Like take that level of comics, like four of them, put them together and go on tour. Right. Well, you know, with the killers that kill Tony, it's kind of like that. It's a little bit like that. The group of some guys, not as big as, you know, Foxworthy. And Foxworthy was the only real star of that show when it started. You know, he was willing to share a stage with me. And that's, you know, that was the catalyst for me.

But I'd also been doing stand-up for 14 years. And I'd been headlining comedy clubs for 11 of them. That's the thing, right? It's there's no substitute for the time in. And there's so many guys that are, like, right about to crack. You know, that's where Kill Tony really comes along. that have really put that time in, really been on the road. Yeah, if you're prepared for the opportunity, then that's the best thing out there for you.

And if you're not, then it was just another fucking day at the park, you know? No big deal. Then you have to figure out what the fuck you're going to do with your life. Yeah, good luck. Because you bomb on Kill Tony and you're an Uber Eats driver, and you're like, oh, no. What is my life now? Yeah, I'm glad that I didn't really get weird exposure early. And that's the worst thing that could happen is you win a car.

contest or something and you don't have the show to back it up with, but all of a sudden you can sell tickets and that's just a death spiral is what that is. Yeah, that could do you in. It's all, there's such a dance like what works and what doesn't work, guys trying to find their voice on stage and trying to write and trying to figure out what to do and then also might have a drinking problem, also might do cocaine. Right. Also might have, oh, the IRS, $50,000.

You know, some of these guys are so fucked up, but, like, there's some of our favorite artists. Yeah. And when they crack through and then all of a sudden become comfortable and make a living, it's a fucking glorious thing to see. Yeah, it was always neat at the comedy store because all the comics parking that parking lot. And you could tell when something happened, because it's either shitty cars or great cars. There was no medium cars out there. You were either broke or you had cash. And if you had cash, you had a new car.

I know there would be times you go back there. It was like Mercedes, Ferrari, Porsche, Corvette. Right, Vega. Well, there was always a lot of people that drank. I always try to talk Mark Marinette to get a nice car. He would never do it. Him and Ari. I had an M3 once.

I'm like, Mark, this is a sensible car. This is not too crazy. It's not too look at me. Fun to drive. It's so fun to drive. I go, dude, it makes driving a ride. You don't even have to go fast. Just the way it handles, the way it accelerates the braking carbon fiber brakes.

It's got carbon ceramic brakes, man. It's fucking incredible. It's cool. It's on rails this thing. I was like, he goes, how much is it? And like, we're going back. He just couldn't be that ostentatious. You know, I've got a lot of money guy.

Even when he had a lot of money. I'm like, what's the point? I was the same way when I first started making money. Because I just assumed it was all going to end, right? So, which it does normally. And so I was like, fuck, man. I just got to be ready for when this. I got to make as much money as I can and work as hard as I can before this whole

thing comes tumbling fucking down. Wow. And it never fucking did. So now, then I was like, well, somebody's got to put a stop to this. And then I tried to quit for a little while, but fuck, it's just too much fun. I spent every penny I had for years. I didn't give a fuck. Even when I was on TV, I was living like a baller.

I was just spending all my money. I didn't save anything. I was like, if it doesn't go, if it goes out, I'm not living normal now so I could live normal forever. I'll figure out a way to live normal. Right. Right now I'm on fucking television. Like, give me a car. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. I was like, look, if I go bankrupt, I've had my car repossessed before. I've been broke before. Like, okay, I'll be broke again. But right now I'm not broke. So I'm going to live like I'm not broke. Yeah. I was living like I wasn't broke this past three weeks in Switzerland. That's a nice way to live, man. But I

don't think you could do it forever. I think that's a thing. Like, you have to work as hard as you do. Like, you're always touring, you're always working on your material, you're always riding, you're always doing sets, you're at the club all the time, you're always banging it out. So for you, you've earned that. Like, when you kick back and you got a fucking peanut collado, you don't drink anymore, but you're sitting back with whatever you're doing, just taking in that sun, not a damn thing to do. People are feeding you food. Yeah. The work's already been done. Yeah.

But you have to earn that. If you just do that, that's not good on its own. People look to that thing as if it's like, Jordan Peterson's talked about that before. Like the people imagine their retirement sitting on a beach drinking margaritas. Like how many margaritas can you drink? Right. How long can you sit on that beach before now you're depressed? Or even if it's a, even if you bought a yacht.

Right. How long can you sit on that? That's crazy. Before you're bored out of your skull. But yeah, you know, it's almost 70 years old. I, you know, fuck yeah, I deserve all the, I get to do whatever I want. Yeah, you get to do whatever you want. But again, like 20 days is good.

Have you ever been to Switzerland? Have you ever been to Switzerland? I have not. Fuck. It's so gorgeous. And it's not even that. It's the infrastructure of it. And, you know, we're 40 trillion in debt.

We don't have a high speed train to anywhere. Where's our shit, you know? But you can get to the top of almost any mountain there at 70 years old. You'll take a train to hear, a fucking auger cut through a mountain here, then a gondola over there and then over the top. You can actually go to fucking Italy on gondolas from Switzerland and have dinner and come back. It was fucking gorgeous. The only thing I didn't like was pay toilets because I didn't have it. You have to have a dollar in Swiss francs.

To take a shit? To take a shit. And I'm like, that's discrimination. Why is it discrimination? Only people with a dollar? can shit here. And then it wouldn't take a euro and it wouldn't take American money

but then I found out, oh, you can use a credit card. So I have to borrow money to shit. It's a dollar. A dollar to shit. Yeah, but if you don't have one of those dollars, you've got to get your credit card out and swipe it on this toilet. I guess after a while everybody adjusts and you just keep a dollar with you if you're going to go out in case you have to shit. And that way, at least

you keep the riffraff out of the toilets? Yeah, well, they got a riffraff. I've got a shit somewhere. You know. You don't want them shitting on the street. And I was about to shit on the floor if I couldn't find any way in. And finally, it's another guy behind me. He said, you do credit card.

It works. You should be able to do Apple Pay. Yeah, straight through to the shitter. Yeah. Can't you? But I loved it. I had so much fun. Lake Como, so beautiful.

Well, you know, Switzerland has famously been neutral. Right? That's Switzerland. And a lot of banks. A lot of banks go over there, right? A lot of money, and they don't spend any of it on war. Yeah, there was been a dime of it on war. And I was asking, you know, it was kind of interesting because I went to France almost exactly a year before.

And I got kicked off that cruise ship, the little Viking cruise. Did I ever tell you that story about kicked off on that fucking thing? This episode is brought to you by NBC. When you put agents from the Secret Service, U.S. Marshals, DOJ and FBI together, it makes for pretty lively dinner table. conversation. Line of Fire is NBC's gripping new drama about the Hollingsworth, a tight-knit family of law enforcement agents. Each week, they work together on high-stakes cases, taking down the country's most dangerous criminals. Like any family, the Hollingsworth don't always see eye-to-eye, but they always have each other's backs. After all, working in the federal government isn't just

their job. It's the family business. Line of Fire premieres Monday, September 21 at 10, 9th, 9th after the voice on NBC and the next day on Peacock. I knew it was going to be a problem when I saw the boat, right, because I got weed and gummies and shit. And I'm like, I don't know if this is going to work or now, but I'll just see what I can get away with, right? And then I'll deny it and then do something different. You know, we parked the boat every day.

I can just get off the boat and smoke. I don't really care. And the fucking people came down on me so hard at Viking cruises. and the captain of the ship confronted me in front of a bunch of people really loud and aggressive and called me a liar and uh were you lying no i was smoking pot out on my deck which is where the the first guy came in and said hey listen you can't smoke pot in your room but if you want to smoke pot on your deck well that's what i'd been doing but i hadn't been real careful about keeping the door shut and this was the the hotel manager guy not the captain

the ship and he was the nicest guy ever and uh he met me no harm just figure this out you know and well the next day we were parked right at the dock and the dock was right there right off my balcony and i'm sitting there in a cloud and the puff going anywhere and he calls and says hey the captain wants to talk to you and i'm like do i know what it's about and he goes yeah you know and i'm like all right and uh they came in just in the hallway just dressed me down and he said uh i said no I was smoking pot where that guy told me to, pointed right at the other dude. And he goes, I think you were smoking pot in your bathroom.

And he got in the ventilation system. Oh, you just made that shit up, dude. You just called me a liar. I'm one of your customers. I bought a sweet on this goddamn thing. And he said, you listen to me. And at the end of it, he goes, well, listen, if you want to smoke pot on the top deck, maybe I could look the other way.

Why didn't you open with that instead of jumping my fucking ass? How illegal is pot over there? Oh, you know, I was in the wrong. You know, it's probably illegal, but. But, I mean, how illegal? No, not very. I mean, you can still buy it. Parents.

You can go to, you can get a fucking card and go in and buy weed. Okay. And then. Well, that's silly, man. God, the whole thing's so silly that that's still an issue. I get the whole smoking pot publicly. It is gross, especially to non-smokers and people with families. Yeah, and I forget how strong the smell is.

Yeah, it's strong. I get that. I understand that. That makes sense to me. But the law is against. that are just stupid. They're just fucking stupid. Speaking of felonies.

You can't do that on the air. Huh? I'm not. It's a cigar. Oh, okay. You can smoke that on the air. I brought you one, too. Oh, thank you. Let's go. Actually, I can't tell you where it's from. Uh-oh. Because that's a felony, too, but...

Why? Huh? Oh, is this from that other country? Some foreign country. I actually bought it and... I think those are legal to have. No, they're not. I think Cuban cigars are legal to have. And that's not what we're talking about, because these definitely wouldn't be Cuban cigars. No.

But I think Cuban cigars are legal to have. Oh. I think you're allowed to have a certain amount of them now where it used to be there was an embargo to all trade to Cuba, and I think there's a limited amount of Cuban cigars you're allowed to possess. Let's look that up. I don't think that's right. I believe that's the case. Do you need a lighter, sir? There you go.

Thank you very much. Ron White, ladies and gentlemen, one of a gentleman. Boy, this smells like south of Florida. Yeah. For ass is tough. Damn, these are legit. Damn, this is a real thing, Ron White. Yeah, it is.

There's like a loophole. Isn't it weird? There's a loophole? Isn't it weird how like some countries are just way better at certain shit? Can you buy Cuban cigars at a U.S. shop? No. No. Can you order Cuban cigars online for delivery to the U.S.?

No. Yeah, you can. Smoke a Cuban cigar while abroad where the law permits it. Generally, yes. but do not bring it back. What? That's crazy. Imagine they're telling you whether or not you can smoke a Cuban cigar if you're in England.

Right. I used to get them from England. I had a dude in England that would send him to me. This is way back in the Dizzy. And he would send me a box of them with no bands on them. And then he would send me a separate bag with all the bands in it in an envelope. Notice these don't have bands on them. That's the thing.

Yeah. But there's so many fake ones. No, that's the most, the most counterfeited thing in the world is Cohiba cigars. Look at this. For a period ending, September 2020, travelers could bring limited Cuban cigars back for personal use. That exemption was removed. Exception was removed. Current CBP guidance says people subject to U.S. jurisdiction may acquire Cuban goods while outside the United States in certain circumstances, but may not import Cuban origin, tobacco,

products into the country. Well, thank God these aren't Cuban. Yeah, thank God. Well, I bought them in Switzerland, so I assume they're Swiss. They must be. They must be. They're really good at everything over there, including cheese. Well, they're good at cigars. That's Zeno Davidoff was from Switzerland. Oh, really? Yeah. Where do they get their tobacco? Well, he was rolling cigars. He was making cigars in Cuba, but he smelled the whole thing coming before everybody else did, moved to Dominican Republic. And before he did that, he moved seeds over there, started plantations, moved his rollers over there. He moved his rollers over there. So really, when that all went down, the only really good cigar you could get was

Davidoff. It's kind of crazy how the Cubans really are so much better. There's like a level, they're a level above. They're a level above, and one of it is the rollers. You know, they just had generational rollers and they have these big rolling rooms. Somebody sit up in front of the thing and read them books, and they just sit there and roll these beautiful, fucking classic cigars that smoke gorgeous and taste gorgeous. Well, if you don't have that, you don't have that, you There have been companies that have bought other cigar companies just to get their rollers and then discontinue the line all together. Now I need these guys twisting up some fucking. Yeah, you need the wizards.

Yeah. There was a place in Miami where we used to go to when we would do the Miami improv. And you could go and watch these people who used to be in Cuba and now they're in Miami rolling cigars. Right. And then cut it and roll it out. And they'd sell you the cigars right there. And it's like incredible. You watch them do it.

And that is pure contraband, too, you know, because they're bringing – that tobacco is coming from somewhere. I don't know where they're getting it. They didn't – I don't know if they even said. I don't remember this a long time ago. But, you know, you can get great cigars from Nicaragua, great cigars in Dominican Republic. But there is a difference. Yeah, there's a difference. It's crazy.

You know, it's a really small area, too, where they grow the best. It's a little tiny place. And actually, you can still buy pre-embarko Cuban cigars in America. So if it was rolled and brought into the country before the embargo, they're legal, and there's their market for them, and they're expensive pre-embarko Cuban cigars. How old are these really, well, they have to have been kept the whole time in humidor's. Whoa. But these big, rich guys that, you know, cigars were a penny. And then Cuban cigars came available, and they were a nickel.

Nobody going to pay a nickel, you know, this is 120 years ago. and but it turns out they did pay a nickel and they were just that much better and then those guys when they heard about that embargo they bought everything there was and built these huge humadors and when they died those things went on the market you know and oh wow i stayed at the fairmont hotel in san francisco and they have a Cuban cigar outlet in that hotel so I bought one because it was like $200 and I'm like so it was like a 1960 cigar 62 or something like that. That's crazy. See if you can find those online. Are those available online? I'm sure they are. That's a crazy thing.

Pre-embargo Cubans. You know JFK, or RF, yeah, JFK, rather. JFK did that before he made the embargo. He bought a shitload of cigars, brought him back. You motherfucker. Yeah, and he knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing. You motherfucker.

You did that, and then you made them illegal. Yeah. What's up? I had to click on it. I was 18 plus. on Reddit to look at a picture of them. It says it's NSFW content and it's just pictures of cigars.

Why is that not safe for work? I have no idea. It looked like the whole cigar thing is all NSFW. Pre-embarko 1962. Are those for sale or they're just photos? I was just finding a photo. I thought that was super strange.

I didn't even get to... That is super strange. I probably can't find them on eBay, I bet, but... It's porn for cigar people. Yeah. Right? They just want to stare at them. I felt it move. What is it

about men who love collecting things that are hard to get? Well, I think that once you have money and then you, you, all the things you thought you wanted, you get those, and then you want something you can't have. This is not too bad. This is one that's 300 bucks. For one cigar. One or for a bundle of 25.

What? Really? I think it's a bundle of 25. That's ridiculous. That's really cheap. That's cheap for any Cuban cigar. Wow. That can't be possible.

No. I paid more than that for These guys are fucking you Probably fake this is how you get I bet maybe it's not Stumble across fake sneakers really quickly But is that really Look at the reviews

You think it's real? It's all four stars I would just say if you guys are already saying The price isn't right This is some fake shit I don't know Ron would be the one to know I didn't even know about this Still 20 minutes ago Maybe it's real

This is how people I'm telling you say you buy fake Jordans Jamie let's order a box I can't imagine Order a box please Add the cart Who's going to smoke it first and test it? Me.

I will. Ron and I will. We'll bring it to the club. Just pause that. Just put that aside. Send it to me. I'll order a box. We'll see what's up.

All right. As long as we don't get in trouble. It's totally legal? Yeah, it's totally legal. If it's pre-embarko. It didn't say that in the other thing. It didn't say pre-embarko. Here's a review.

First five-pack I bought was not good. Every single cigar was plugged and didn't have a smooth and easy draw. Not just from this particular cigar, Camacho as a whole house, yeah. And he still gave him four stars? However, the handwritten thank you card I received, I never forgot. And he gave Cigar City a second chance to the latest five-pack I bought was well worth the price. It's a sad day when the Cuba tobacco bundlers for this cigar are all used up.

This may be my number one favorite cigar hands down. The transition between each third is absolutely incredible. So the first five-pack sucked and the second five-pack was insane. Interesting. Huh. Rather cheap. Maybe they have... They have 10 reviews total.

Seven or fives and three or fours. I'm just saying... Hey. Take a swing of five cigars. Fuck it. You can handle it. Yeah, we'll see what's up. Let's say you get beat out of it.

We'll be all right. I bought dumber shit. No. For sure. How's that fucking Corvette you got, baby? How's that thing? Somebody wants to buy it from me. You know who?

Who? Jay McGraw. Does he? Oh. Yeah. He can get one of those. He can get one built. You don't want to sell yours. Yours is yours. Yours is set up for you.

Yeah, that's my car. That thing's beautiful, man. Yeah, you can't sell that. You have to keep that. That's someday when you die, that'll go on auction. It'll be worth a fuckload of money. That thing is beautiful. And it's got a bar in the trunk.

It doesn't have it anymore. He took the bar. I took it out. Because it didn't have a top because I wanted that bar for whatever fucking reason, Joe. Did you get Calvin in Austin? Did they do the work on it? I think they did, right? Yeah.

Casey? Yeah, he's the best. They've done some of the work. Some of it was done in Atlanta. I mean, the basic build was done in Atlanta. But the setup on it was done by Kurt Bush's race team. He was testing tires at its oval track. And he said, bring it out here because he knew I was building it.

And he said, I'll have a guy set it up for you. Oh, that's awesome. And so there's footage on the internet of him driving in 170 miles an hour on an oval track. going, what the fuck, dude? He's doing donuts in it. I'm like, God damn, I just had that fucking paint job. You could drive it, set it up. And he said, we need to drop that front end an inch.

And I said, well, yeah, what if we drop that front, Ron, we need to drop the front end an inch. You don't need to ask questions. I'm like, okay, drop some front end an inch, buddy. You know more about this shit than I do, don't you? Those guys, I can't really drive. I can drive. I mean, I've been around a track a few times. I know how to drive, but not like these guys.

No, they feel things that you and I wouldn't feel. They're like, oh, the left camera is off. This is off. There's something going on. It's, you know, the understeer is off. Something's off. I don't like these tires. Like, they feel it with their ass.

Yeah. Yeah. And they did a beautiful fucking job on it. And it's so much fun to drive. It scares me a little bit because, you know, it's just got so much power. It's so light. And nothing to it, but running over 500 horsepower. I just had fuel injection put on it because it was running kind of rough early on, you know,

when I'd get a start and start cold, but now it just boom. Yeah, was it a carburetor set up before that? Yeah. Yeah, they'll stink too. The problem is they make your whole car stink like gasoline. Like, whew, those old, I used to like that. I still like the smell of gasoline. There's something about you getting in an old muscle car.

You smell that gasoline. You're like, yeah, America. It's just, a lot of it is nostalgia, you know, nostalgia from the time when I was, when I was a kid, muscle cars were the thing. Well, mine was, you know, mine was born the same year I was, 1996. So it's been around, it's been around 70 years. That car had just like me, still running, just like me. Right, but it's got all new parts. Yeah, it's not the same car.

We got to work on that with you. We could have driven away what we didn't use. Yeah, that's the same with mine, my 65. There's nothing in that other than the outside. Right, that's all mine is to. Some of the frame, I mean, everything was... Dashboard and some of that stuff. Everything else, you know, it's got an Art Morrison chassis on it

and coil over springs and disc brakes and supercharger. It's got an L.S. engine in it. That thing is... There's nothing about that. That's an old car. I got to tell you, that yours is the prettiest Corvette I've seen. When I first saw that, when I was like, man, I didn't... think anybody could beat me in the Corvette Department.

That thing's stunning. Dream boat. When I first saw it, I was like, oh, shit. When I first saw it was a lot different, I brought it to my friend Steve Strope. When I first saw it, it had the grossest interior. It had a cheap Corvette bucket seats from maybe like a C4 Corvette or a C5. They were terrible seats. And the interior sucked and the shifter sucked.

And it was a little underpowered. It didn't have the supercharger in it, and I brought it to Steve Strope, but it did have the chassis. And so we upgraded the suspension, and then he upgraded everything else and completely redid the interior and put, like, really solid bucket seats that grip you and wider tire and brakes head up. And we got those cool wheels. Those wheels are sick. Yeah, the solid. Really set it off. Show a photo of that, Jamie.

There's a photo of me with Jay Leno when I did Jay Leno's garage with it. The wheels are controversial. People either love them or they hate them. I fucking love them. I wouldn't like them on all. I don't think on many cars, but on that car, it's like the perfect wheel for it. What's that green car? I saw you driving out last night.

Yeah, that's my other quarterback. Oh, yeah. Look at that. Those wheels rule, dude. Those are fucking badass wheels, man. They rule for that car. That thing is sick. So that was all red.

The stripe was red. Steve Strope turned it black and did the wheels and did everything. He really tuned it. in nice where it's just dialed in. Yeah, that's badass. It's so fun, man. That's me and Jay. He's the only other guy that's driven it other than me. That thing's fun.

And again, it weighs nothing. It's probably got 550 horsepower now with the supercharger. Yeah, I won't let anybody grab mine, but I'll let you drive it. All right. Let's go. Well, you know, we're setting up a studio at the track. What?

We're setting up another studio at the racetrack. Oh, yeah. You told me about that. Yeah, like at the races a couple years ago or whatever. So sometime around like November-ish, we'll start doing podcasts out of there. I hope to get it done right around the time Formula One is in town. That would be fun so I could get some drivers on and do some podcasts from there. Okay, yeah.

But so we'll be able to do all of them in there? No, some of them, both places. Both places. So we'll be able to go around the track, take guys around the track, take people that have never been around the track. And what I want to do is like bring in car companies. Like so, you know, Mustang has this new dark horse Mustang. Sure. Crazy 600 horsepower crazy Mustang.

Like, let's let people drive it. You want to sell some Mustangs? Let these guys drive it just for funsies. We'll take some pictures and then we'll do a podcast. Talk some shit. You know, with whatever, musicians, comics, people. Yeah. And then, you know, have fun on the racetrack.

Yeah, we see a ton of those guys out of driftwood out of my golf course. A lot of those guys are golfers and they all go out there and play golf whenever they're in. Oh, I'm sure. Race car driving and golfing. You know, I really wish I could get into golf. And I probably will someday. I probably will. I'll probably be forced into it.

It's a lot like shooting a bow. In that. Don't tell me that because then I can't do it. Yeah. I mean, in that you never do the exact same thing twice. You know, the shot's going to be either further or shorter or the wind's going to be coming from some other way or whatever. So you really have to And the big difference is

When you cock a bow Or whatever you call it That's where all the power is Right It's already in it's built in You don't have to generate it now Right You just aim it

But golf You have to generate All the power with your body Yeah Which is hard to learn how to do Well I watch Jamie I watch Jamie do it all the time You ever seen Jamie whack a ball

That fucking dude can get some distance Jamie can whack a ball Jamie can whack a ball. Jamie, you want to come out of Driftwood and play golf with me? I love to play out Driftwood. Huh? Driftwood's a great place. I'd love to play there anytime.

I'll take you out there. You go. The dude can draw. What's your furthest drive? Well, I mean, it's all dependent, but I've hit it over 300 yards, which isn't that important, as Ron would know. It's all about what hole you're hitting it on, and is it worth it hitting the 300 yards on that hole? Yeah. How far can you drive a ball?

You know, I hit the ball. I had 235, 240, something like that. But, you know, if I really get into one and I catch a sweet spot, you know, maybe 255, which is nothing compared to 300. But you find a 70-year-old dude that can do it, then... What is like an elite golfer, like the best driver? How far do they do? That would be Rory McElroy probably at about 325 average. So 100 yards.

They hit the ball 100 yards further than me. I played with... Jamie, you're only 20. 25 yards off of some of the best golfers? No, no, no, no. That's not how I would even word it. Yeah, they're in the middle of the fair way. You're saying, like, how far have I ever hit it?

Yeah. Which is what I'm answering. It's not how far do I hit it, which is like your average. Would you take out your tops, take out your lows? I see what you're saying. Well, that's very humble of you. Well, I'd be bragging my ass off 300 yards, bitch. No, because then I'm on their ass.

I can't prove it. Fucking hat. I'm on their ass. I'm going to hit 320. Have you seen those guys that go to those driving ranges? and they have these crazy swings where they like completely spin and then rotate their body.

They almost like do a 180 and then smash it and those guys, it's got to be way over 300. Yeah, they're hitting it four. They're sometimes 500 yards in some cases. That's crazy. They're using specialized equipment. They're playing in a specialized place.

Yeah, but they still can't play the game of golf. Right. That's different. Right. Or usually. I mean, usually they'll be a two or three handicap. They'll be decent at golf. Right.

But the elite guys, they can't touch them in the game. Yeah, there's a similarity in pool, and that's the break shot. This guy's the current champion, 579. Jesus, Kyle! Yeah. That's insane. Yeah, that's a fucking half a mile, isn't it? It is.

This isn't even like 425. This is on a course. He's probably got a three-word. Oh, my God. He's a big dude. He's also playing out, and he's getting a little bit of help with elevation out there. You can tell he's out in the mountains. Right.

A little help. Wow. A little help. But that's what you want. You want to hit it on the green. That's kind of what's way more important. 410. Yeah, if you can do that.

That's bonkers. That's bonkers. Wait until some of those like super athlete NFL players get involved in golf and learn. LeBron's gotten involved recently. Oh, God. And he started a YouTube channel, but his, he obviously doesn't have a ton of time to play. Right. He's busy.

But his growth in the year he's played is pretty remarkable. Of course. He's a super athlete. Same with Justin Gachie. Yeah. I mean, he's really good to start, but he's played forever. Justin? Yeah, I think, didn't he say it took six months off or three months off and played every single day?

Well, what happened was when he got hurt in the Max Holloway fight. He didn't do nothing for like a long time. And he just let his body heal, let his brain heal. And he played golf every day for like a year. And D.C. was saying, like, dude, he got so fucking good. But of course, he's an athlete. Like, if you're a world champion, M.A. fighter, you can kind of do anything if you set your mind to it.

You could play golf. He could skateboard. He could do whatever the fuck you want. Because those guys also are ridiculously flexible, right? He's not that flexible. He's loose, though. That's kind of matters what matters more. I mean, I went to stretch zone today.

You know, that's where I go to. You go to stretch zone? Do you go to someone stretches you? It's the best thing in the world, man. It's kind of resistant stretching, which it takes an hour. and they just have you on a table and they're just bending you around and boy you can play some golf when you get off

of that. Really? Nothing frees up your lower back. You've got to be able to... How many people are doing it? Just one person. One guy's just holding you down and twist you. They've also got straps where they strap you to the table.

So they, I mean, they can do things to you. That you can't do to yourself. You just can't get that kind of stretch in. Interesting. And I fucking love the place. And it seems like, and it's never busy. And it seems like that... There are tons of old guys out there playing golf.

Every one of them should be on that table. It fixes everything. Do you do anything to work out to, like, strengthen your body other than playing golf? No. You should probably do like a light kettlebell routine. I'm not going to do a kettlebell, but maybe some rubber bands or something. Cettlebells are not hard, man. You don't have to be lifting something heavy.

I've seen video you doing it. It looked like it would break me in half. Yeah, but you don't have to do that weight. You can do a real lightweight. A light weight is a great work. Workout. Sometimes I do, like if I'm not feeling that good, I'll do just a routine that I do with a 35-pound kettlebell. Just to, if I just, I just want to break a sweat. I don't want to really exert myself, but I want movement and I want my tissue to loosen up. I'll do a whole routine with a 35-pound kettlebell.

Yeah, and there's no doubt about it. I should do more. It would be great for your golf, though. There's a lot of things you do like rotational twists things that would be really good for just generating force with your drive and just, control of your body, just overall body control. Yeah. I know that I lost some muscle when I was just losing weight with the Zempec or whatever it was. And so I know I could get more. And I know that the whole secret to me getting to be 80 and still mobile is good of his leg strength. And I was really kind of impressed with myself in Switzerland because I was getting around pretty good, you know, because I do, you know, I do whatever, testosterone and human growth and all that kind of stuff.

So it does make my muscles stronger because I was doing things. I'm like, there's no way I get up the top of that thing. And I just chug on up there out of breath. But my legs are fine, you know. Yeah, it makes your body behave like a younger body. That's the whole key. People miss out on that because they're afraid of the stigma attached to taking testosterone. Like, look, your body doesn't make it anymore.

When your body makes it, you feel better. Get all this ideological shit out of your head, especially like a lot of my left-wing friends are very adverse to the idea of taking testosterone. Like, look, you don't have to take a lot of it. It's not what we're saying. We're not saying, get on steroids. What we're saying is bring your body back to levels that it had like when you were 30, and you'll feel so much better.

Your immune system will work better. You'll sleep better. I mean, just look at me the difference from when I came to Austin and you came to Austin. And then I was still drinking really, really hard and ridiculously hard. and but I was 30 pounds heavier and sluggish I never felt good and and today I just after you know just doing going to ways the well and you know taking all that stuff and I got to tell you I feel better than I haven't fucking ever I'm just I think that everything in my life is is stronger than it was then I mean I think the stand-ups even stronger you know I think

It is too. And I think you add on to that, like a little bit of weightlifting. I don't mean anything crazy. And one of the best things you could do is what's called a farmer's carry. Just get a couple dumbbells and just walk. You can walk around your property. You can walk around your street. You know, I do like a couple hundred yards and then a couple hundred yards back.

I go up a hill, then I go down a hill. The whole thing takes me like 15 minutes. It's phenomenal for your body. Like carrying things, like carrying heavy things is really good for you, man. It's great for your grip strength. It's great for your body. back, your core, like everything, everything felt like, like right when I first started doing it, my body was like, oh, yeah, do more of this. It's like, like intuitively, I was like, oh, this

is tying everything together, like moving weight around, I think is very important. Not just standing there and like pressing and doing stuff like stationary. I think there's some real benefit in like walking with stuff because you've got to balance it. It's heavy and you're moving there and your grip gets tired and you have to set it down and then you fucking chop. How much weight are you carrying 200 yards? 140 pounds. Oh, fuck, dude. I saw two little weights in your hands.

Well, these, the kettle, this might be a different time you saw me, but I don't think there's any video of me doing that, but these kettlebells, they're each 70 pounds, so I have one in each hand. And so it's 140 pounds total, and I'm walking up this hill, and then I'm walking down the hill. And I do it every other day. It's phenomenal. And then you work out every single day.

Yeah, every day. Every day. Every day, every day I do something. Have to do something. Just for sanity. Yeah. I guess if you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards. I just want to maintain.

And also sanity. The real thing is sanity. The world's nuts. Like one great way to like alleviate some of the pressure of paying attention to how nuts the world is. Is do something really hard. Do a hard workout. Do a yoga class. Do something difficult.

Just something that takes you out of it for a minute and just relaxes you. Yeah. I'd like to get back into yoga again. I did that for a while. That's one of the best things I bet for golf. Oh, yeah, it is. No doubt about it. And then you play forever.

Do yoga. I had this hot little yoga instructor come over to my house, and it was just a great way to just fucking start the day, and I did it every day. What happened? Well, other girlfriends didn't like her because she was too hot. I'm like, I don't know if I'm willing to fade all the heat. Just for some yoga where all my motives suck anyway.

I just wanted to be near the... There's something very hot about yoga ladies, too. It's a really good one. Yeah. Oof. Yeah. So I'm going to get back in this. We met a female trainer the other day that's friends with John Paul and Eloise.

And so we're going to inspire her to start come over to the house. Oh, there you go. That's a good move. There you go. Because I'll do more with a woman. Really? Just to show her that you can do it? You know, just I don't know.

I just show up. for it if it's warm. For some thought for you. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Imagine waking up tomorrow with perfect discipline. Whatever you decide you're going to do,

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Yeah, you got to keep the body healthy. You know, your body's healthier now that it's been before, now you've got to start strengthening it. It's real simple. And you can. Like, there's no reason to get weak. Other than an injury, other than something that's wrong with you, It's out of your control

There's no reason No reason to just be weak You can be healthier Yeah I'm after it It's fun too You have more energy For other stuff

You know Your life has more You have more vitality It'll only get better Joe It'll only get better That's what I'm saying dog How come people are ragging on our club Man

Who's ragging on our club I've watched it on TikTok People That goddamn mothership It's a walled garden And someone warned me about that a long time ago, this philosopher guy that I know. He said, you got to be careful because, like, it looks like you guys are having too much fun and other people can't get in. And they feel like it's a walled garden.

They want to shit on it. You know, the thing is, like, people like, because we're all friends in there. It's because, like, it's a very intimate group of friends. And we don't know when somebody else is going to come in there and listen to us bullshit and then go jab her away to some fucking buddy else. Or get upset at some of the things that someone says because some people say horrible things. that room don't even mean it because it's funny. No, right. They say it to be funny.

Yeah. And then there's, I've seen some of that. One of the things that I've seen is people that are talking about like the kind of comedy that they hear there. And what they're talking about is Brian Holstmann. And they were talking about this guy, he's yelling about gay people. Like, you, hold on, you're talking about Brian Holtsman. Like that, what that is is like the comedy version of death metal. Okay?

Death metal, some people like death metal. Right. You don't have to like Death Metal. And you don't have to watch it or listen to it. You might be into opera. But that guy is fucking hilarious. And offstage, the sweetest, nicest guy you ever want to meet. On stage, he becomes this fucking maniac.

But it's like satire. It's on purpose. It's not a real person. Yeah, it took me a while to get it. It's brilliant. He's one of the best comics alive. He's one of the funniest guys I know. Like, he's fucking hilarious.

Is it offensive? 100%. Yeah. Some of the things he's going to say are will offend the fuck out. of you. They will offend the fuck out of you. They offend me. I'm like, Jesus Christ, but you've got to leave room for that. There's always got to be room for everything. There's room for everything. And if it doesn't work, the people won't laugh. And if they don't laugh, you won't come back. You know, after a while, that's it. But they laugh. We laugh hard.

And you could say, this is awful that they're laughing at that. And you got a point. But that's not what it is. Right. No, I'm telling you, I didn't get it at first. And because I saw him eat at one time and I was like, because he can, you know, he can find a crowd that's tough, but, uh, that can happen. But a lot of, now he's got his own crowd. Yeah, his own crowd. They're, they're looking for it. The other thing that people keep saying is that it's like a right wing club. The vast majority of the people that are in that club, working in that club, are left wing. That's crazy talk. People just assume because they connect Tony, you know, and people also connect me to that. When I don't, I don't, I think, I mostly think that's because they don't know me. But, and I,

because I look right wing and because I did kind of help Trump. But other than that, other than that, you think that might be one? Left wing my whole life. Well, I know you have very left wing views on a lot of fucking things. I have very left wing views on a lot of things. But I also recognize when government is taking over our lives. And what we were sold with the Trump administration would be that would end. And, you know, there'd be a drain the swamp.

Obviously, it's not been ideal, like in that regard. I think it's, yeah, well, you know how I feel about it. A lot of people laugh, a lot of people. I mean, I'm left of, certainly left of some of it, but I also carry a weapon, and I believe in the death penalty. And, you know, I, but for the most part, you know, I, I'm a left-leaning faction in the green room, you know. I mean, you and Brian Simpson. Brian Simpson's very left too. But, you know, Tony's the only one who's like on the right.

Tony's like legitimately right wing. No, yeah, he's MAGA. That's kind of, well, I guess. I don't know. I don't even know if you would say that. But he's like pretty openly right wing to point of me and him argue about left wing, right wing stuff all the time. But it's like the problem is not left wing, right wing. The problem is like rational and insane.

Yeah. Like the open borders was insane. That was horrible fucking, a horrible fucking move. The COVID mandates were insane. Forcing people to get vaccinated was insane. All that stuff was insane. That stuff scared the shit out of me. The censorship online was insane. All the woke nonsense forcing you to use pronouns and forcing you to never dead name someone or you get kicked off a Twitter for life. There was so much insanity that we needed some sort of a break. moving away from that. That was my position. I was like, this is going to continue. Because, like, obviously, Biden was not really the president for four years, right? So the people that were running the country will continue to be running the country.

These non-elected people, it wouldn't be him. And then when she's in, it would be the same fucking people. Be the same people. I voted for him. I bet you did. I did. And because I wouldn't vote for Trump. And also, they were, you know, going after women's rights.

Well, I'm going to side with the women because I don't like any. any candidate, but I'm going to vote. And then the women didn't go. You mean abortion, right? You mean abortion, right? You mean abortion, right? Where were y'all? When you say women's rights, you mean abortion, right?

Yeah. Yeah, because, I mean, I'm going to be a grandfather in a few months. I don't know if you knew that or not, but. Congratulations. Huh? Yeah, that's awesome. I'm so fucking excited about it. And, I mean, it's just, I mean, it's happening a little late and alive for me, but, you know, now I'm

looking like, well, if I play my cards right and I live as long as my mother did, I can see this kid through fucking high school. The abortion rights thing is a weird one. You know, it's like, I don't think I have a right to tell anybody what to do with their body. I'm not a woman. I've never been pregnant. I have no idea what that's like.

I have no idea where some guy gets you pregnant and it takes off and you've got to make a decision. Or if there's medical issues. There's medical issues. It should be between a family and their doctor. Yeah. I have so I really I can't say anything but there's a weirdness to like late-term abortions and I know most people say that late-term abortions are only in the case where it threatens the mother's life and no one really wants to do that I know someone who got a late-term abortion in New York and it was just because the boyfriend didn't want to have the baby and they waited too long and she was pregnant and it was scared that shit out of me I'm like you guys just killed a baby I'm not saying that happens all the time. But I'm saying just the fact that that can happen scares the shit out of me.

Well, aren't there laws against, even before these laws were passed? Weren't there laws saying, well, not pass this? What did they just pass in Massachusetts? Didn't they just pass some new abortion law in Massachusetts? I think the rational thinking is that most women would never want to abort their baby late term, right? And if someone's doing that, it has to be extenuating circumstances and that it has to be because of, and to eliminate that possibility and to put someone through like life-threatening situation because they really do need an abortion. And the law says they can't have an abortion unless they get some exemption. So they have to prove it.

And then the person, the right life is at risk. So I could see how you would say, we will allow late-term abortion so that this can never present itself. Yes. Massachusetts expands abortion access to any point during pregnancy. On Monday, I joined nine states and Washington, D.C. in eliminating gestational restrictions on abortions. So what does this mean exactly? Let's scroll down. I think this means any time during the pregnancy.

So this means like eight months, two weeks, you can get an abortion. Most abortions happen when the first trimester. Very few take place after 24 weeks, the previous limit for abortion in the Bay State. Those that do occur after that point often involve situations in which doctors discusses a fetal anomaly late in the pregnancy. Massachusetts law was championed by major medical groups, including the National Society for Maternal Fetal Medicine, the Massachusetts Medical Society and the state's chapter

of the American College of Obstetricians and Gonicologists. The law received support from Kate Deneen, the abortions rights activist whose son died in utero at 33 weeks. What is it saying? Yeah. So a lot of people are scared of this because you can have an abortion like really late when the baby is a baby. Yeah, well, I'm, you know, like I'm not for that, but I'm for a woman's right to choose. But for the same reason you just said, I'm not a woman. I don't know what it's like. I don't want the government involved in my... Well, there's some people that think even the cases of rape and incest you shouldn't be able to, which is crazy.

Wow. Right. Because then you get to, if you're a rapist, you get to go, oh, that's, I want that chick to have my baby. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, well, whatever. What are we in the medieval days? In the old Viking days? So what are we going to do about the Texas Senate?

You met Tala Rico. You liked the guy, right? I did like him. I like his thoughts on the Ten Commandment in schools and public schools. I don't think, I think he's right. And he's a very religious guy. And his position is when you put the Ten Commandments in public schools, what you're really doing is you're forcing Christianity to them and you're not You're not you're probably pushing them away from Christianity or than bring you like forcing it on them and if you're gonna do that how can you do that and not have like

Scripture from the more book of Mormon Muslim? You know Islamic text. Why would why is it just the ten commands? Yeah, when there's separation of church and state that's a step run organization and yes so his position is that and I think you know he's probably right about this otherwise he'd get sued is that there's a couple like very wealthy people who are christian nationalists and they want to um take over like the school system and turn texas like completely christian and uh yeah i think that's scary that kind of shit is scary because pushing whatever your ideology is. Look, if you invite people into your church and you know, you're a person who is of exemplary

character and you're a wonderful guy and there's something about this guy like, wow, this guy, the way he lives his life, man, I really, I think he's really cool and kind. Right. I like to see, like, what this church is all about. Like, that's how you get people to be interested in what you're doing and the way you're promoting life. You can't be forced fat. But you're forcing it on people. You're just going to push him away from it. It always happens that way. You, you, you've, you've, you've, you've, force it, you can't decide that your way is the way that other people have to live. That's the whole idea of America is you're supposed to have the freedom to do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you're not hurting others. And if you want to believe in whatever, some ancient

religion that people gave up on thousands of years ago, who fucking cares? Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, I first noticed him when he really came out against that school voucher program, which I was against also. What was that? Which one was that? School vouchers, and he lost. He fought so hard against it because they wanted to give school vouchers. So you could take this money and go to a private school. But the only people that were using them were people that already had their kids in private schools. Most Texas counties don't have a private school.

And a private school can also decide who they want for no reason. They can eliminate anybody. They'll take a student or not take a student. And that came out of the public school system, that money and went into the private school system. And Talarico really fought hard against that. Because we need better teachers. We need more teachers. We need the public school system beefed up.

We're getting the shit beat out of us in education. And I think Talarico was really, really good for that. And I think he's a smart, honest man. I hope he never gets sucked into the corruption of all the money like most people do. But, you know, you really can't put Ken Paxton back in the office in the state of Texas. That guy's just too corrupt. You know, he's just a bad egg, and we don't need him around here. There's a lot of shenanigans with weed in this state right now where there's a lot of alcohol lobby money and a lot of people are trying to ban weed and they're trying to make it a felony.

They did it. I know, but they're fighting in court now. There's a bunch of cases. It's really stupid. It was such a big step backwards, you know. And I was asking one of these guys that owns a head shop, you know, that I like, you know. I want to go in and talk to him every once in a while. I don't like that Delta 8 or whatever they were selling anyway.

But, you know, but these guys really went all in on these businesses that were legal and all of a sudden snap, here's the stuff you've got to take out what he got left. And that's really brutal for somebody that really, you know, weighed it all in. Billions of dollars lost thousands of jobs. And I guess they burned the weed. That's when I asked him. I said, what did you do with all that weed? Crazy.

It's also, look, regulated and tax it, you fucking idiots. You're missing out on so much money. And also, leave grown adults to do whatever they want to do. You're not going to convince people that weed is fucking PCP. Okay, you're not, this ain't for Madness Days. Right. Everyone's been smoking weeds. You're in high school.

You throw out there. We know it's bullshit. We know what weed is now. Yeah. Can you go crazy if you smoke too much weed? Yeah, don't smoke too much. Can you go crazy if you drink too much? Yeah, don't drink too much.

It's the same goddamn thing. Don't tell people what to do. You don't have the right, especially when I look at these guys. Like, you guys are dorks. You dorks can't decide what other people do and don't do. And it seems like they'd, you know, that enough of them would have died that a new set of faces would come around. Well, they're going to lose elections. I'll tell you that, because young people aren't tolerating this bullshit anymore.

Like, this is stupid. And not even young people, most people realize the only way you can come to this conclusion that there should be laws and, felonies and people should be locked in cages for weed is if you are either retarded or you're on the take. Yeah. It's one of those two things. One of those two things. Either you're too fucking stupid to be a leader or you're on the take.

Right. Because this is dumb. And also, you're missing out on so much tax revenue. How much does California make in tax revenue? How much does Colorado make in tax revenue? A fucking buttload. A buttload. And, you know, even when some weed was legal in the, and, and.

Texas, I got mine from Oklahoma anyway. You shouldn't say that online. People, they'll come for you. They will. It's probably like getting those Cuban cigars. Fake, not real Cuban cigars. How much revenue does California get every year? There's a state-by-state breakdown.

Okay. And we can put that money in the public schools. $7.765 billion. Billion dollars. Billion dollars. Wow. That is fucking crazy. That's so much money.

They're missing out on $7 billion. And they're missing out on how much did the tax? How much did the alcohol lobby give you? Could have been $7 billion. No, I don't think so. So somebody is either retarded or corrupt. Corrupt. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm so sick of it. You know, I'm so sick of it. Texas could be making a shitload of revenue with legal marijuana. And bring in some goddamn gambling. We're sending everybody. Right across the border to fucking Windstar, although I work there, so don't quit going. But they just pour old, just dump money into Winstarts because casino in the world is about 300 yards north of Texas.

What do you think about that? Do you think that casinos should be everywhere? And what do you think about, like, the argument that if you're promoting gambling and you have these casinos, you're going to ruin people's lives? Because you're going to give them, like, easy access to something that they're addicted to. They've already got access. with fucking draft kings. You know, you can gamble from anywhere. But, you know, they can still go to somewhere else and do it.

You know, they go right across the border, go to Louisiana, or fly into Vegas for $79. Right, but there's an argument that you don't want it in your state. There's an argument that, like, if you really care about the people in your state, you would probably make it more difficult to go to these casinos. We have horse racing here, right? Do we? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you gamble on that? Not much, but they moved Ria Dosa down to Texas. The races that were in Redos of New Mexico or New America. I remember when I was playing pool in New York, the real gambling junkies, they would start their day at off-track betting. They would go and gamble on horse races, and then they would come over to the pool hall later in the afternoon. And lose the rest of it. Yeah, or have stories about how they lost. That's a wild group of folks that you were hanging out with in the New York playing pool, wasn't it?

Oh, yeah, homeless people, junkies, pool hustlers, like some of the wildest people I've ever met in my life. It was really fun. There was this one place that I used to go to in New York City. It was called Chelsea Billiards. And it was a 24-hour place. And there's regularly, you have guys that were sleeping under tables. While it was open? Yeah, because it was open 24 hours.

So at nighttime, and they didn't get games, they would just crawl under a table and go to sleep. because there's a whole downstairs area that was rarely used unless it was like really packed but it was a real pool hall a real 24 hour pool hall I met so many degenerates there there's a great book about that place

it's a great book called Playing Off the Rail by this guy David McCumber he was Hunter S. Thompson's editor when Hunter S. Thompson was I think he's working for a newspaper in the Pacific Northwest for a while McCumber's a very very interesting guy

great writer and he took my friend Tony Anagoni, who was a world-class professional pool player, and they traveled around the country gambling and wrote this book. It's a great book. Really, like really accurate, honest book. Playing Off the Rail? It's called Playing Off the Rail is the name of the book.

And the guy, Tony, who was a friend of mine. I did commentary with him on a pool match once in California back in the 90s, and hung out with him a bunch of times, play pool with them. and then one day I got a call from a friend of mine that told me he jumped off the bridge. No shit. 17 when he did that.

He was 17. He was stricken with road fever. No, no, 22 years later, he got the chance. So when he was 17, he tried to do it. So 22 years later, he got the chance to follow that dream, not as a player, but as a steakhorse, financial backer for Tony Anagoni, a non-smoking, macrobiotic eating,

Renaissance pool hustler, of Eastern religion and master of the pure green felt poetry of the dead stroke. Tony was a brilliant guy, like an incredible pool player. And again, didn't smoke, didn't drink. He would play for like 24 hours and he'd only drink water. He plays like long gambling matches with like high-end pool players. He was like a world champion caliber pool player. But he jumped off the bridge, man.

Oh shit. Yeah. I don't know what was going. going on you know I wasn't close with him at the time I hadn't seen him in a few years you know he was living in San Francisco I was living in LA and then somebody called me it's um it's such a scary thing when you you don't know that a guy would do that and then they do it you're like you're always like what could I've done could I've said something you know sometimes someone will call you and say

something it picks you up and you feel Joey Diaz will do that all the time he just call you up tell you he loves you yeah he does that to me he's the best and he he I do it to him too it's like it feels good it's like you you check in check in with your friends yeah and sometimes when your friends going through it and you don't know the extent of it like a lot of men are stoic about that shit they don't tell you how bad they're suffering they don't tell you what's going on you don't know until it's over and then you're always like what could i could i've said something could i've done something should i told other people what could I've done Yeah.

Like Brody. Brody was a rough one. Brody was a rough one. I had no idea. You know, I knew Brody was struggling. I never thought he'd take his own life. I thought he was just, like, he just struggled, you know, like, to keep it together. But he would get on stage and he would be brilliant.

And I was like, this guy's clearly, like, great comic, hilarious guy. Awesome guy to be around. Everybody loved hanging around with him. He'll be fine. I had no idea. And then all of a sudden, you get that call. You're like, Brody took his own life. You're like, what?

No. You know? Like, you're like, what? You can't even believe. You don't believe it's real. It's like, how, would it say it again? I don't believe it's real. Well, if anybody ever says that I killed myself, I didn't.

I am not that kind of person. You go find out, Joe, who killed me. I will find out. All right. I won't believe it. Yeah. I knew you would. I will.

Oh, that's what I was going to tell you, that I went to that trip in Switzerland. Yes. And then we were taking a ride in a car for two and a half hours from Zermat to Interlocking. And I had this driver from England, Andrew, and he had married a girl from Switzerland and moved there 12 years ago. And when I was in Paris, I really was expecting to get some anti-American sentiment because they don't. really like it's that much anyway. But I really didn't feel it. And I'm like, oh, well, maybe I'm building this up more than it is. But in Switzerland and also in northern Italy, I felt like I'm getting a cold shoulder in these places. And I asked him about it. I said, is this in my head?

And he goes, mate, if you want to know the truth, they don't like your fucking war. They don't like your war. Those guys can hit everybody but you and you're slinging missiles and and they also don't like the terrorists. If you're doing things over there to fuck you up, they don't care. But if it fucks us up, yeah, we care. I'm like, well, I didn't have anything to do with it. And, but, but that war is, is sitting pretty, pretty nasty with just about everybody, I think. Everybody here too. There's very few people here that think it's a good idea. Are the only people that I've heard that I think are very intelligent people that think it's a good idea. One of them was Palmer Lucky. Palmer Lucky is a tech guy, a very, very smart guy. And one of the things that

he was on a podcast and was explaining was that Iran had ramped up its missile production, like, above and beyond. And they were like actively accelerating their missile program. And if they did acquire a nuke, it would have been a real problem because they have an insane reserve of missiles is what he was saying. He was saying, if we continue to allow them to ramp that up and obviously

the time, the other thing people have said is the timing was poor and that really, if the United States was going to attack Iran, they should have attacked Iran when they had the protests. When they had people in the streets

and they were revolting against the government and the government was executing civilians, that's the time. And if they did it then, I bet the whole world would be with them and I bet the people probably would be with them. people of Iran would be with them. Who knows what the fuck would have happened. It would have been a different thing. But the timing was way off. And his position is also interesting because he

makes weapons, right? He makes drones. He makes like super sophisticated military technology. But he does it because he thinks it's, well, also it's his business, but he does it. His rationale is that it's important to have a very strong defense and that he's a patriot. That's his position. And his position is that this government is a dangerous government and they were actively trying to ramp up their missile program. Again, you have to take it from perspective that he's also a weapons man. Right. He's also, he's in the business. But he is a brilliant guy. Yeah, and it's not like the Iranian government's really cool and we're misrepresenting them. They're fucking executing people for protesting against the government. They're doing that in the street. They

They run their government. They run their country with an iron fist. It's scary. They definitely sponsor terrorism. They definitely do. But also, you know, they've been attacked. They've been overthrown. You know, we installed their government.

Yeah. You know, like we monkeyed with Iran in the 70 or the 50s, whatever it was when you see those photographs of it. Like, it was very Western. Like, they had a democracy. Fuck yeah. It would look nice over there. Yeah. We fucked it all up.

It was a big part of us fucking it all up. And I bet a lot of it had to do with oil. I bet it did. I bet it did. It's so spooky. The kind of shit that we've been doing and they've been doing and all these governments have been doing all around the world, monkeying with other people's fucking countries. It's like, Jesus Christ, everybody's out there playing Russian roulette.

Like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, and, you know, Israel is right in the middle of all that missile slinging also. Always. But, boy, they don't like it. They don't like it. And I don't think they understood that the only thing that keeping Iran from bombing other people was us. So when we started bombing them, they're like, what the fuck? Yeah.

I'm going to start shooting some stuff out to Bahrain and Qatar. That's the other thing is all the other Gulf states that support the attack in Iran. That's kind of nuts. There's all those other countries like Saudi Arabia and Qatar and all that. They support it. Like, they don't want Iran to get a nuclear weapon. They don't want Iran to have that kind of power. But most people in America are like, this was the whole reason why one of the things that people loved about Trump was no more bullshit wars.

Yeah. No more wars. No more unnecessary wars. That was the one thing I couldn't argue with. Yeah. You know, I'm like, well, okay. Well, yeah, we don't need to be in a war. Yeah, and that's what we hoped, you know.

But it seems like we're in one. Seems like it. They won't call it that. but that's what it seems like to me. What are they calling it? A conflict? Yeah, a military conflict. The same as Vietnam.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. It's like that was a good idea. I looked up something crazy last night. I just like, I think I asked Grocker, one of the things, like how many... Could you talk just a little loud? Sure. How many years has the United States been in conflicts?

I think just like in general, total. And it said that like only from the years from 19... Or sorry, 1891 to 1897, were we not in a conflict? conflict. And since World War II, we've been in some sort of something every year. Yeah. Every single year since whatever. Not a thing like Switzerland. We're in all of them. All of them. And I think it's a, I think it's that a lot of it is just exactly what you were talking about is the big machine that is defense, you know. It's a huge machine. The budget is insane. The amount of money is insane. And they want to keep making that money.

That's why we don't have our high-speed rails. Also, they try to do that in California. It seems like people stole the money. I don't know what the fuck they did there. How much they spent on the high-speed rail in California? It's insane. It's like they haven't even laid the tracks yet. They've spent billions.

They're way over budget. It's going to take forever. And even then, there's a part that you have to take a bus. You get to it. Yeah. Who was explaining that to us? It's not a high-speed bus either. A regular bus.

No, it's a regular bus. Regular bus. You take the high speed Goes to a very short distance And you get off You get on a bus And you go from like Bakersfield to L.A. on a bus

And they spent Billions of dollars They didn't figure out the end of it It's so stupid And then you just take a bus where you're going It's so stupid And then they had Gavin Newsom

Like posed in front of trains The other day Did like a press conference Like talking about How they're moving forward With the high speed rail Like bitch that thing Ain't ever gonna work

It's just a grift They're just stealing money. Like those goddamn condors. What about the condors? I don't think they're real. What do you mean? I just don't think they're real. I don't think there's a shortage of them.

I don't. I think we just got the right amount of condors, and it's nature's way of taking care of itself. It's an ugly bird. So do you think that when people were saying that the condors were endangered, do you think that there's a grift attached to that? That's what I think. What would be the grift?

The grift is give us money so we can save these condors. And then boom, you got money. And are you saving condors with it? We don't know. Are you a position that condors should be allowed to go extinct? What? Should they be allowed to go extinct? If they want to.

Leave it up to the condors. If they don't want to fuck anymore, quit fucking. One of the things they've said was that a lot of them were dying from lead poisoning, from bullets, from hunters. And so they made the hunters switch over to copper bullets. Do you know that? And that doesn't... California, you have to have copper bullets now. In your shotgun?

Yeah, and rifles, too. Like if you shoot an elk with a rifle in California, you have to have a copper bullet. No shit. Yeah, and I think... Do you use copper bullets anyway? No, I don't. I don't really hunt with a rifle. Oh, you're just a bow guy, right?

Yeah. But it's effective. They work. I've killed an elk with a copper bullet before. It does work. I shot an elk in California with a rifle. But it's weird because I don't know if that's really what's killing the condors. I don't know.

Does that really, how many birds die from lead poisoning from bullets? That seems kind of... They fly awfully high. How many hunters are losing animals that there's that many bullets that are just laying around that birds are eating? I don't know. I don't think that's right. That seems like a weird connection. Like, see if a bird made a habit of eating lead, yeah, that'd be fucking terrible for you.

But is that really affecting the population? There's that much lead out there? I wouldn't think so. It sounds kooky. Yeah. But I don't know. I don't either. You know, but this, you know, there's always these weird, like, regulations they put down on things to protect wildlife.

It gets super squirrely. I don't know. Is there any data that shows that animals were done? from lead poisoning for bullets? Why would, I wonder why they would make, because like California just passed some crazy law where they made 70% of all tires illegal. I know.

70% of the tires that are being sold in California will now be illegal. Because of what? Some crazy new regulations about what kind of tires you're allowed to have. What they're made out of? How they're made, their construction method, the quality of them, blah, blah, blah,

how efficient they are, whatever it is. 70%. What are they going to use for tires? Well, they're just going to be able to sell 30% of the tires. They're going to have to sell more of those tires. But it's going to probably cost the consumer a lot more money. It's probably going to fuck up the manufacturers, fuck up their businesses.

And it's some regulation that's supposed to work with, it's supposed to save gas somehow. The more efficient tires over time will save millions of gallons of gas. Like, stay the fuck out of people's business, you cunts. California has approved a new replacement tire efficiency program, not a ban on tires you already own. Right, but it bans the tires you can sell. This is a weird way to frame it. Well, I mean, your tires are going to wear out, and then you've got to replace them with these.

It regulates which new replacement tires may be sold in California for pasture vehicles. What changes, California Energy Commission unanimously adopted the rule on August 17, 26. Its purpose is to ensure replacement tires are on average, at least as energy efficient as original equipment tires, fitted to new vehicles. The key technical measure is rolling resistance. Lower rolling resistance generally means less energy is needed to keep the tire rolling, which can improve gas mileage or EV range. So it's basically like you can't buy cheap tire. You have to buy the same kind of tires that your car came with. Well, so they're really kind of putting a ban on shitty tires.

Are there people out there just making shitty tires and they're trying to get rid of them? Well, they're probably making tires that are less expensive and still pretty good. Like, if you're driving a Camry, do you really need original equipment tires? Your car sucks. Your car doesn't handle. Oh, no, I would be looking for the cheapest tire I could put on that car just to get to the next payday. Exactly. So if you're broke and you're different, the difference is like a seven,

$79 tire or a $59 tire and it's basically the same to you. Yeah, yeah, they've put them on the camera. Yeah, and now all of a sudden these tire shops, they can't sell them anymore? What? So what if you have inventory? Do you have to get rid of your inventory? Do you have to dump all my, what if, what if you're a guy, like, he works at Tires R.S. And, you know, you said, you know, it'd be cool.

If I could ensure that I had every fucking tire for 90% of the cars right away, I'll stack them. I'll stock them here and that way I'll get a whole ton of business We have your tires Right And then all of a sudden you gotta get rid of all those tires We ain't got your tire no more That's crazy

Seems like there'd be a lot of other things to worry about Well I have my buddy Matt Who was at the club last night His house burnt down in the Pacific Palisades fire And he's like the regulations You're going through to try to rebuild your house Are fucking insane He's like we're not even close to starting construction

And he's got money And he, you know, he could just start construction right away. Are they just going to change the way they build houses there to make them less fireproof? I don't know what they're doing, man. They're just making it. The regulations are insane. It's just like there's so much red tape before you can begin construction again. Whereas in Texas, if your house burnt down, you go, oh, here's the plans for the new house.

They go, oh, it looks good. It's up to code. Good luck. Build your fucking house. And you just build your house. That's it. Right. You're on that California Coastal Commission.

bro. They are brutal. Those people are brutal. Yeah, I'm glad I'm out of the real estate fucking... The California real estate thing. Yeah. I'm glad I got out when I did. A lot of people are trying to get out now. I know a bunch of friends that are trying to get out and they can't sell their house. But I got to tell you, I still love Southern California. I love to go out there and play golf and hang out with my...

I still know a lot of people down there. Southern California is beautiful. Oh, it's beautiful. That fucking climate is just untouchable anywhere in the world. Which is amazing that they fucked it up so bad that people want to move from there. Yeah. Because it's awesome. It's not just awesome.

It's like the variety of environments you can get to within two hours. It's crazy. Remember you were going to buy that big ranch out in Montecito or San Marlboro or somewhere? I didn't even know you had money then. Whenever you first told me that, I was like, oh, yeah. All right, you have no idea what it cost to buy a fucking piece of it. property and what do you got a podcast and a couple of fucking shows first time i did your podcast i didn't even know what it was i don't know you'd ask me to do it i said i got i don't come

do your podcast and i had no idea it was fucking millions of people and it sold books and tickets and i'm like bad damn joe what do you got going on over here well it was you know back then it's like kind of under the radar people didn't know what a podcast was but still millions of people were listening to them. How many subscribers do you have now? Do you even know? I think on YouTube, what do we have? 20 something? 20 million on YouTube and same on Spotify. It's like 20 million subscribers. Fuck. That's a lot of people. Yeah, that's what I was talking to Angela about it this morning and she said, what are you doing? I'm doing Joe's podcast. I'm going to go talk to 20 million people and I really don't have anything to say.

So she goes, well, Joe will lead you through it. You'll be fine. I'm like, I know, but it's still 20 million fucking people. You can't think about it. Yeah, I know. When you think about it, it'll fuck your head up. I just started thinking about it. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Let it go. Do I know any of them? I know a lot of them. Listen, they're just folks like you and me. That's why it works. Yeah. You know?

We just have lucky lives. We have lucky lives, Joe. Very lucky lives. lives. That's the best way to put it. I'm going to do, you know, next week I'm celebrating 40 years in stand-up comedy. That's amazing. September

17th, 1986 is when I first started telling jokes. Are you doing a set that night? I am. I got a show it's in Dallas that night. Oh, nice. And I'm leaving this weekend for the first. I've been off for four months, so I'm

going to Florida, I think Daytona and I don't know. I always love to stand up in Dallas. Dallas is a fun city. Yeah, it is. That's fun. I always love Dallas.

I always loved Houston and I always love Dallas. Yeah, I love Houston too. I just have that one big play out in Katie, that big gigantic room out there. And I don't even go into Houston anymore. I just go to Katie. That's as far as I go. What is the place?

Oh, I don't know. It's that 6,000 cedar. You played it, right? That big old huge thing. They can block parts of it all. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do that spot. Yeah.

Big fucking, I think they changed the name of it every two years to put a new sponsor. It was a Toyota something. Yeah, they always do stuff like that, right? Yeah. That's always weird. It's always a bank or some corporation or something. I could never find a room in that town that I liked was there was, the really nice one was too small. And they had this big concrete vomatorium downtown that used to be a rock house.

So you could just wash vomit out of it with a fucking hose. Had a lady fall out of the fucking. balcony 26 feet landed on another lady flattened a fucking metal chair both of them left and I thought a light fell from the sky I didn't know I was on stage and people were going oh who oh ah ah people screaming and I'm like fuck fuck and turn the lights on and we got fucking ambulance fucking stretchers coming out they both left on fucking stretchers oh my god and uh big lady too buck 80 fucking flattened another woman and her chair oh Then the next show, the same night, a guy has a heart attack and dies.

And I'm like, is this an Indian burial ground or some shit? Jesus Christ. What the fuck? And that was my only play there. And then they opened that big building out in Katie. I'm like, okay, this is mine, boys. That place is haunted. Fuck, yeah.

I'm not going back. Have you ever talked to anybody else that had weird things happen in that place? I really hadn't, but, you know. Two nights, or two shows. Two shows in one night. That's nuts. Yeah. And I always thought, man, these balconies are awfully fucking steep because you could go up there and sit in it and go, well, what keeps them from falling over?

Nothing? Not a goddamn thing. A woman just lost her balance and went whee, right over the fucking edge. Whenever I see those penthouses in Miami, I think of that. I was watching some YouTube video where there is one of the, I like watching those real estate shows where guys like, look at this incredible apartment. Right. Look at the amenity. I don't know why.

I'm a moron. I like watching. I like real estate shit. I like watching condos and places I'll never buy a condo. So he's at this crazy condo that's a penthouse in Miami. It's like $70 million and it's got this glass wall that's like titty high and then down like 70 flights. It's just glass wall and then look over the side. Like I can't swing that.

I don't like that feeling. I don't like it worse if I have my phone in my hand because I can fall off. That's fine, but I can't let that phone go. What if the phone hit somebody in the head and kills them? It'd be on you, wouldn't it? It would be on you. It'd be easy to trace that motherfucker right on back to where it came from. It wouldn't be hard.

It's just like the balcony thing. I see that in New York City, too. Some of those apartments that have balconies and you just look over the ledge. Like, that's too weird. It's too weird that there's a place in your house where you could definitely die if you'd take an extra step. Right. I would say don't live in a place. where you could definitely die if you take an extra step.

Just generally, as a rule, that's got to fuck with your anxiety, too. Imagine getting high up there and looking down. I've still got that penthouse, but it's only 22 floors. That's enough. Yeah, that's plenty. I've been to your place. That's enough. That's more than enough to die.

More than enough. I live like 600 feet in the sky. I know you do, dude. You live way the foot up there. I have someone who lives up there, too. I have a couple weird dreams sometimes where, like, the building is falling over. It's not like a crash or a big event, but like it's just weird inception, like mind bending, just falling to the ground very slowly and weirdly. It's fucked because you can feel the sway.

I see my toilet water move all the time. Fuck that, dude. Get out. Where do you live? Don't say it. I can't say it. I live downtown also. Don't get out now.

Get out now. Get out now. Get yourself a place in dripping springs. You can't, like the view is insane. Oh yeah. Your view is sick. Yeah, I mean, there's pros to it for sure Like whenever I'm in New York City

If I know somebody that has an apartment My friend's dad had an apartment in New York City And he had like this corner building Like this building where his apartment had glass On one side glass and it was just all city And it was in the middle of everything And I was like, this is the view Like a lot of people have the view of like the city in the distance

Like the city right on top of you And he was like you know like 30th floor Or something like that And there's all these other building It's like a sci-fi movie, you know? It's like, it's so exciting. Just the feeling of all these lit windows and all these buildings around you and looking down, seeing the cars and traffic. All the fucking stories, man.

Yeah. Everybody has, you know. And everybody's like watching everybody else. Everybody's got fucking binoculars to look into other people's windows and seeing people are fucking. I've got them. I got a big old fucking tripod. Bump, bump, bum, I hadn't seen Titty One with it. I don't know.

how much I spent on that goddamn thing. I didn't seem one tit. The New York City thing I kind of get, but I don't. I mean, I think I get it. If I was a single guy and I was younger, I kind of get it. But someone, like, to me, I'm just being on top of people like that. It's not good for you. I don't think it's good for you to be smushed in with so many people,

like to feel all their vibe around you all the time. Yeah, I love to go there. I used to take my mother. My mother used to go to fucking, theater there. So my mother was alive. I would take her to New York. And we went to see a fan of the opera and like halfway through it. I leaned over to her mother and said, I didn't realize it was an opera. Well, it's in the name. I'm like, well, I know, but I still didn't know it was going to be a fucking opera. Oh, you thought it was going to be like the movie? A play of, yeah, I didn't know

it was going to be just a straight up fucking opera. I wouldn't have gone. But we also went to see Book of Mormon with the original cast and that was so fucking funny, man. The Book of Mormon's amazing. God, what a great. Those fucking South Park boys, South America. Didn't he? They changed the name of their show to South America for Trump. Yeah, I think it's just a... Or it's an episode.

No, it's the next year. That's what it's going to be called. Yeah. That is the best joke. I laughed out loud. I read it on my phone by myself at the house and laughed out loud. That is fucking rich. Oh, it's so zilly.

Those guys, you can't fuck with those guys. They're funny and they don't give a shit. And they're super rich. Yeah, super fucking rich. The website has a... as South America now. Fucking amazing. I couldn't live without South Park.

That means we'll get a new theme song. They're like the only thing the Comedy Central didn't fuck up. They were too big for Comedy Central to fuck it up. You know, they had so much power, you know, with the success of that show. I guess they don't fuck with us. I remember when the first tape was going around,

the VHS tape. Yeah. What would Brian Boytano do? Remember that? What would I do if he were here right now? He'd make a plan and follow through. That's back before the Internet. That's what's really crazy.

South Park was around before the Internet was everywhere. So this was probably like 95, right? Yeah, I think so. When did the first? It debuted on Comedy Central 99, I think, or 97. But there was a tape that they had made that was going around. There's the Spirit of Christmas, and there's something that think that's Jesus for Santa Yeah, Jesus.

Yeah. It was a Christmas card or something. Yeah. What year was that made? Because I remember I was dating a gal who worked in an agency, and she got a copy of it. This says 95, but something just said 92. Hold on. Interesting.

So it was like the internet really became a thing in people's... First release. That's weird. Something was released in 92, and then something in 95. Okay. The first in 92, short films. So I think I guess it would have been Jesus first.

The earliest that I could have seen it was 95, I believe. Jesus, the kids play some magic hat on Frosty. I don't really remember that one, but definitely remember seeing the second one, Jesus and Santa. So when was the internet really in everybody's house? I got the internet for the first time in 94. When did you get the internet? I got CompuServe first. Like AO.

It was like 95. 96. What was CompuServe? What was the difference between that? It was like AOL? Okay. Like chat rooms and... Yeah.

I had AOL. Yeah. I still don't have the internet. I still don't have it. But I'm gonna get it. You don't have internet in your house? This year. This year you're gonna get it?

I do. I don't use it, but I've got it. It's good to not use it. You're smart about that shit. Oh, I can't. Yeah. I can't. I cannot read what people fucking say.

And then every once in a while, I think I can. for a second and I'm like now you just don't put it down because when we were raising money by the way I got to tell you and I may have already told you but you know when we bought the the shirp

or whatever fuck it was and the fire truck they used that one year later to save lives one year later that same storm system hit that same riverbed and they used that thing for days just and they talked about it on the news And now they have two of them

And they said one of them was given by Joe Rogan and Ron White And it made me so proud That's awesome That's awesome That really made a fucking difference You know Yeah No, that's really awesome

That's really awesome we could do that I mean that's a no-brainer That's a real thing that can help people That's so cool Those things look crazy too Oh they're so fun man I took it down the river And fucking you go up any bank

Over giant rocks The thing will go in it You can't stop it You just can't stop it fun thing to have the shit go sideways that area gets hit a lot right is that like Wimberley is that that area yeah well you know

you really it was that unique storm system but it happened fucking twice there that baby is yeah I don't know if I sent this to you I forgot this is the one you guys got money for it wow that's it that's the one we bought Ron that's so dope that's the coolest thing wow that thing's

incredible taking all those kids that's so fun yeah they took that thing all the way across Greenland. Right across the middle of Greenland, it took weeks and weeks to do it, but they took it all the way across. Just nothing's stopping them. They put gas in the tires and they can run it for, it's only got a 55 horsepower motor. Oh, wow. But it's all torque. So it doesn't go very fast, and it needs to get good gas mileage, right, because it needs to get into weird places. But they can put gas in those gigantic tires and run it off of that. So you could suck the gas out of the gas out of that? the tire while you're driving? Yeah. How do you even get the gas out of the tire? Like the tire's spinning.

I don't know how it works. That doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah. I'm trying to figure out how that makes sense. Like, how are you going to get the gas out of the tires? It just, I don't know. They're rigged up, I guess. I don't know.

If they got a line that goes to it. But the line's spinning. If the tire's spinning. But also the tires deflate completely at night. I mean, it just, you know, and then it airs itself back up. Whoa. Why did you do that? But I asked him a million questions before I bought the fucking thing.

Whoa, look at that thing. That's nuts. This is a video explaining the fuel system. I don't know if I guess... Oh, all right. Each wheel has its own tank. Each wheel has its own tank. But the system balances weight evenly so Sharp doesn't tilt. Even if one tank is empty, the Sharp remains stable. Cool fact. Tires are self-regulating.

While driving, they adjust air pressure via exhaust gas. No onboard compressor needed. So go ahead, shoot one tire. Shirp keeps rolling. Whoa. I guess it did not explain. You asked, what's up with fuel in those Sharp wheels? Let's break it down.

If you shoot the tire, will it explode? Will Shurp tilt if just one wheel has fuel? Yes, the fuel is stored in the wheel hubs. We're in the air chamber. They're sealed tanks and. inside the rim. Each wheel has its own tank, but the system balances weight evenly. There you go. It's the center of it.

So you have to take them off to refuel. That's what it is. That makes more sense. Okay. That makes more sense. Still, very genius. Fucking cool. Great way to store fuel. Yeah, they're made in the Ukraine and the guy told me, we just take them out to the front, let the Russians shoot at it and then bring it back and figure out another way to build it. They just keep on going. They got plenty of room to test it. And that's all mud out there.

anyway in the Ukraine. So that's where that was all conceived and and cool as shit, you know. What a great fucking little vehicle. Nobody needs one really unless you live right at there on the river and you want to help in a flood. Or you've got a crazy ranch.

Crazy ranch. One of those guys. It's just changing where you're plugging into. Okay. So he can do it right. You don't have to take it off. You can just go right from those tanks. Okay.

And that's how you pump fuel into your tank. and drive it. That's nuts. If you have a crazy ranch or if you're on a front line, it's probably a good vehicle to have. That Wemberley area does get hit hard, right? They get those flash floods. Well, they got two of them, you know, and almost exactly a year apart. Both of them were right at Fourth of July weekend.

But I don't know if it was supposed to be like a thousand-year event and that it happened a year later. And I'm like, well, that wasn't a thousand-year event or a hundred-year flood. It was a one-year flood. But I don't know if it's a constant problem. I mean, yeah, all those river, if it gets a storm stuck over that, everything is granite, right? So it all just fucking runs all over the place and feeds into the Guadalupe and then it goes nuts. Yeah, those flood zones are nuts when you see, like, what can happen, like how high the water can get to and how quick it can happen. Yeah, we drove it just the other day.

and just to see there's still you can still see the devastation but that camp mystic is just sitting right there I didn't see it the first time I went down there and but boy it's just right there with camp mystic written right and big letters right on it and I'm like god damn how can they not see that that might be a problem but it never had been you know it had to take the worst thing and the worst place and you know there no communication out there and I know they blame a lot of it on somebody Biden or somebody, but it really was not foreseeable, you know,

from my perspective, and I really did look at it. I mean, I did you know, I gathered as much information that I could, and I'm like, yeah, they couldn't have done anything about that. Just horrible, horrible fucking thing. But,

you know, life goes on. We all learn lessons and, you know, I don't think that mystic camp will ever open again, which is too bad. I think they tried opening up again. Yeah, I think too many people bucked up against it now. It's such a understandable. It's a gorgeous place, though, right there on the fucking river.

It was there for a hundred years or something. That's nuts. Yeah, but. Did you see that crazy avalanche that broke the dam in Nepal? Yeah, I was over there when that happened. Were you really? I mean, not in Nepal, but, I mean, was overseas and it was every news cycle was just nothing about that that's that was insane i wonder

if that situation is in other places up there where there are there big ice stamps or whatever i mean i wonder if that's going to be something that happens as those glacier caps start to melt and they are melting because the the rivers were running like crazy when i was in switzerland and and they were worried about it because normally they would not be getting that much water but those ice cat. They had a really hot summer and those ice caps are keeping those rivers running. Imagine your whole city's existence is tied to whether or not you have an avalanche. Yeah. And you're sitting there like, please, please no rock slides. Yeah. I think the rock slide, is that what caused the Nepal thing? There was an avalanche that came down and fucked up the dam.

Is that what? No, the avalanche came down and blocked and that's what made the lake. Then the glacier broke off and landed in the lake and busted that down to the shoot. So there were actually two events. The rock slide made a lake. How long did it take for everything to happen?

Well, I mean, once it broke. No, but it wasn't really quick with the rock slide? Between the rockslide? I don't know. I don't know what the distance was between the rock slide and the avalanche. Fuck, man. But it was a pretty big lake. The water watching, the water

wash over those people was insane. That was horrible. And the speed in which it came and the volume. Oh, just knocking things completely down. Saturdays and rock flowed down at speeds approaching 150 kilometers an hour, kicking off a flood that raised water levels as much as nine meters and 30 minutes. 30 minutes. Oh.

Duck! It's just the way it wants, like this idea people have. Like, oh, the water's coming. You'd be able to run like, uh-uh. No. You know, we watched that video, we're like, oh, you don't have a chance. You can't go anywhere. There's no, there's nowhere to hide.

And the volume was a wall, just a giant, like a building-sized wall of water. Of boulders and logs and ice and... Cars and everything. And you're just going to get crushed. There's not just water. Yeah. It's everything the water's carrying with it. Insanely heavy shit.

Stupid, stupid fucking mayhem. Just total mayhem. Yeah, natural disasters are fucking crazy. When you see all the meteor spots on Earth, all the little, all the little fucking holes in the ground that where they, you know, like this one Australia that they didn't discover until fairly recently. Yeah, I saw something on that. Look at that. Yeah. Hit by an asteroid right there.

Huh. When did that happen? An asteroid the size of a house. Yeah. It was one in Nevada, this crazy one in Nevada, just this fucking gigantic crater. Have you ever seen that one? Yeah, I've seen it. Fuck.

Man, how often does that happen? I don't think it's happening a long time. We hope it's going to be a little while before it happens again. The timescale of Earth is so vast, and the timescale of a person is so small that many, many people can die, live and die, live and die, and it doesn't happen. And we say, oh, the odds of it happening very low. But really, it's just random. It can happen, and if it does, boom. No more civilization.

Well, yeah, but now we could shoot them down, right? No. We can't. No. We can't stop them? I don't think they're ready for that yet. No, I don't think they're ready in any way to stop something big that's headed our way. I don't think so.

I think they have some theories. They've never done it. I don't know how much time, effort, and or resources have been put into making sure that if a civilization killer asteroid is coming our way, that we can all join together and launch rockets from China and Russia. and everywhere else and knock that thing off course. I don't know. Put Elon on it. Yeah. He'll fix it.

He might be able to. He might be one of the only guys. Yep. That can figure out how to stop something like that. But I don't know if they even know when those things are coming. You know, some of them are coming from behind the sun, and they don't see him until it's too late. What do you think about limiting how much people can contribute to a political party? I think if anybody, if there should be a set amount that anybody can donate,

and if they donate one dime more than that, they're hung by the neck until dead. That's what I think. And keep the billionaires out of politics. I think also you could say the same thing about corporations. Absolutely. Also, you could say the same thing about lobbyists. Absolutely. There's a lot of influence on our politics that I think should be eliminated and money in

politics is is it's so ingrained it's so entangled in politics like the idea of removing it entirely seems ridiculous to people but if it didn't exist and you said hey what do you think about like letting corporations you know those ones that dump shit into rivers and pollute ecosystems and do a lot of funky shit in third world countries they're not supposed to do what do you think about having them contribute so much money to our politics that they have incredible influence over regulations to get passed. Absolutely. What a great idea.

Yeah. I wish I was one. Nobody would say that's a good idea. You would say, no, let's keep money out of it and make sure that all laws that get passed are for the benefit of the society and the people. Absolutely. Not individual corporations or individual people. Yeah.

Definitely not. And then you would go even further than that. You'd say, well, let's make sure that the people that are doing the job are compensated fairly, but are not allowed to insider trade. Yeah, isn't that? We're being grifted, Joe. 100%. We're being grifted.

No, if ands are butts about that. I was listening to this story was really about Chinese politics, and I don't think communism is the answer to anything. But you don't just, it's not a, the leader is not a popularity contest. That's somebody who's been in this business for 40 years, you know, that knows how to run a country. It's not a just, here's this guy. We'll let this guy do it.

Everybody seems like this guy. You know, it's all come from the ground up. You know, and China works pretty well, I think. You know, I don't know. I've never been there. But it makes sense that people in those powerful jobs, you'd have a lot of experience. That, but they also can't be removed. Yeah, right.

And they have total power. And if you say anything about the government, they will literally put you in a prison somewhere. They'll put you in a camp somewhere. They've removed people. They've silenced people. They've even billionaires. They've made them disappear. You can't step out of line.

And the government and the businesses work hand in glove. That's it, period. There's no government, no business that works without the influence of the government over there. So they have giant problems too, but they probably have better leadership in terms of like strengthening their country. But it's terrible for freedom. What you need is like, I've heard the argument. I don't agree with it, but what you need is great leaders, right? But what you need is like a benevolent dictator, like someone who really does care.

So it really is a good person and genuinely doesn't want for anything or need for anything and just wants to try to make their mark and make the world a better place. Yeah. That doesn't exist. It doesn't. And why not? Why not? I don't know, because most of the people that get the job, that's not who they are.

Most of the people are either warmongers or pussy hounds. They're power brokers They're people who want the feeling of being the top dog You know, those are the people that generally get to those positions And those are the ones that Because the struggle is so hard to get there And then they're going to tear you down and attack you And to pull up things from your past

And most people don't want to go through that And so a lot of people that may be good leaders Never want that position Right, because it's a shit job And it doesn't even pay well It's like it pays a half a million dollars a year And these guys that are, which is good money For a real job

But like if you're being the president of the United States, you're around billionaires and there's all his influence. And then they leave the job. And then they get these speaking gigs. So they talk at a conference of bankers for a half a million bucks. You're like, what? Right. What is this? What is this shenanigans?

It's the way it is. The job doesn't pay much, but the job pays a lot, you know, if you work it that way, you know. They all leave rich. Jimmy Carter was like the only one that, like, kind of. of stayed reasonable his whole life. He never became a rich guy after he left office. He basically, that's who he was. He stayed the same way.

I think Talarico might be one of those guys. Well, I would hope so. You know, look, it's always good to assume the best about people. He said some things that I think are questionable. Yeah, but, you know, God is non-binary. He said that one time, and then people were like, I don't know what non-binary means, and I make me nervous. I get what he's saying there.

God is not a sex. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. Yeah, it's God. It's an infinite loving force. It's not as simple as. I get it too. I get what he's saying. It's just what you're saying is also like you're, you know,

I get people that want to say they're not a man or a woman. I feel like you should say whatever you want to say. But to say that that's a thing is a different thing. Like if you're a biologist and you say there's non-binary people, Like, are there? Like, what are we saying? There's X, X and X, Y. And there's people that are intersex.

There's people that have this weird thing. Like, there's women that are born X, Y. So they're a man, but they have, like, some, they have their testicles inside of their bodies. And they also have androgen resistant genetics somehow or another. So they never become, like, masculine. And they look really feminine, but they're essentially X, Y chromosome. There's weirdness. That's, that's really what, like, non-binary is.

That's a real non-biron. That's like very strange. That's like your inner sex. But some people just don't feel comfortable in their skin and they don't want to be labeled a male or a female. They just want to be whatever they are, which is fine. But when you're talking about biology, I think we have to be able to make a distinction. We have to know, like, what we're actually talking about. You know, facts over feelings.

Feelings are fine. You should be able to say what you call yourself Carol or Bob or whatever you want to do, man. You want to be a man now. Okay, you're a man. I'm cool with that. But let's not, you know, let's not let's not let the nonsense invade the actual analysis of what we're talking about. And some of them we're talking about is just dysphoria. It's gender dysphoria.

That's what it's always been described as. Which is, you know, there's a lot of things that people have wrong with them. It doesn't mean that, you know, they're bad people. It doesn't mean that, you know, should alienate them. They shouldn't have rights. And that's no one's saying that. you're saying like no you can't compete in the women's division because you're not you're a biological man and I know you wish you were a woman and I know you want to be identified as a woman that's great

but when it comes to sports right when it comes to tennis yeah stop stop the nonsense this is you know it's just there's a lot of like weird shit that goes along with compassion you know where people don't want to look at reality because reality itself is not compassionate the reality itself is like you know, you are discriminatory, you're transphobic, you're this, you're that, like, okay, I'm not, that's not what we're saying. Like, you're saying, like, you've got to be reasonable. And reasonable is you've got to know what's the difference between a sex offender who decides he's a woman and wants to hang around with women versus a guy who has gender dysphobia. Sure. Dysphoria and wants to be recognized as well.

Absolutely. Two different things. And if I get it wrong, forgive me. You know, if I don't call you the right name or whatever, I, I see. just you try to grow a pretty thick skin because people are always going to be mean, you know, so just let it run down your back. I mean, I've got thick skin, you know. It's a complicated conversation because it's not one that we all thought we were going to have 20 years ago. No. That was going to be the forefront of society discussion about gender.

It's odd. It's very odd. I just, I don't like it being promoted for young people because young people are getting surgeries and taking chemical castration drugs and doing, which is essentially what hormone blockers are. The same category of drugs they use for sex offenders when they chemically castrate them. It's fucked. To do that to kids is fucked. Do that the kids that don't know what they're doing yet.

They're confused and there's a lot of detransitioners, man. There's a lot of people that went through that and really wish they didn't. And they get ostracized from the trans community. They get ostracized from progressive communities. They get told they were never trans to begin with. Like, what does that mean?

What are you saying? This is not like, saying someone's not black or not white, like just traits that are just they are what they are. You have, you know, you have blonde hair, you have black hair. This is like what you're born with. To say you are not really transgender. It's like, what the fuck are you saying? You're making someone do something to their body.

You're doing something to them through surgery or through chemicals. Like this is to say that you're not really one of, you're not really transgender. You just did it. Like, what? I don't know about it. How about it? How about recognize the fact that people are easily influenced and sometimes people make mistakes? And sometimes people get convinced or convinced themselves that they're, they should do something because it's, it's fashionable in society.

And it's, it's culturally relevant currently. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I'm not for any of that. But I mean, I think try to be fair, try to be nice and, and, you know, let them do whatever the fuck they want to do. But even Talleyco is against having any kind of surgery before 18. And same as Paxon, but Paxon didn't cost this. Tala Rico didn't cost this state $6 million in fines and lawsuits. And that happened to Paxon.

How did he cost? What did he do? Paxon? Yeah. What did he do that cost $6 million? Well, back in 2020, eight of his assistants turned him into. to the FBI for fraud. One of them was a 50-year Texas Ranger.

He fired that guy five decades of service in the Texas Rangers. Well, that guy sued him. And they fired four of the eight people that turned him in. He did. He fired him. And then he realized that he was going to get fucking sued over it. And he came up with a solution. He was going to give him $3 million to settle this case.

And then the House said, no, it's not coming from us. And then they sued won $6 million. And guess who paid that $6 million? You and me paid the $6 million for his bribery. And how he ever got out of this stuff. He was impeached by the House, his own party impeached him, 121 votes to 22. And then the Senate put him back in because they didn't want to lose the seat.

But he's a criminal, just a piece of shit. I don't know enough about them, but I do know that they're surprised that Tala Rico is ahead of him in the polls. I'm not. I think that people are sick of what's going on right now in Texas. They've been in control for 30 years.

What have they given us? Let somebody else fucking drive. They're jacking with my marijuana, and I'm ready to get them out. The marijuana thing is just so stupid. Because if you look at the national polls, it's something in the range of 70% and the people think it should be leaving.

And we should decide, right? We the people should decide. Yeah, and if you find out that these people who are making these decisions have been influenced by the alcohol lobby or by anybody else. Hung by the neck until dead. That's what I'm saying. Let's get some severe penalties in there. Advertising on Spotify with audio and display ads helps brands turn attention into results.

Download the 26 performance playbook and discover why Spotify belongs in your media plan. It's corruption and it's bad for us. And it's also bad for the look of Texas. Texas is supposed to be a place that's about freedom. And it is in a lot of ways. But in that way, it's definitely not. No.

And it's definitely stupid. Again, we looked at what California's making, just the tax revenue. $7 billion. B, with a B. With a B. Yeah. And is there some enormous problems that have taken place? No.

No. No. You know, what is? The problem is alcohol sales are down. That's the problem. That's what got it all stirred up. Alcohol's tanking it right now. I mean, wine, liquor, tequila, all of it is 20% or more off.

What do you think is the cause of that? Well, it's that younger generation just doesn't feel the need to go get hammered every night. They don't have the wallet for it. The kids are broke. You know, they got $80,000 worth of the fucking school debt that your kids don't have and my kid doesn't have. And, you know, there's just no money. for it. And then they go to these clubs and they like to smoke some weed and go in there and not drink. And I, you know. Also, they don't like hangovers. Yeah. And I'm right there with them.

I mean, I think it's a better way. I mean, I can't go through this life without some kind of buzz. I need it. But liquor was the wrong one for me. And I just found better ways. You know, there's more than one way to skin a goddamn cat. And I know. And the only reason why that stuff is illegal is corruption. It's stupid. All of it. Whether it's marijuana or mushrooms or all these things. We should understand them, study them, and they benefit a lot of people and they should be legal, period. Everybody thinks not, either hasn't done them or doesn't know what they're talking about or is coming from a very authoritarian perspective where you think the government should be allowed to control people's behavior. And I think that's fucking ridiculous. I think it's fucking ridiculous too, Joe.

Fucking ridiculous. I'm glad we're on the right page. Huh? I said, I'm glad we're on the right page. Yeah, we're on the same page, man. We're on the same page. You think cameras have anything to do with it? What do you mean? People recording people doing dumb shit and not being free to be... Oh, that stops people from getting drunk?

Maybe. Never stop me. I'm talking about the kids. You were talking about kids, I was thinking about kids. Do you think so? Is that what you think? I'm sort of was asking. Maybe.

Could be. Maybe. I'm afraid to be caught doing dumb shit and... Well, people are very aware of being caught and getting embarrassed because so many people have gone viral these days. Like, maybe. Maybe it's a factor. It's possible. What did they do to jelly roll, man? Poor jelly roll.

What he did was say the president was a fat pig like me. That's what he said. Yeah. And then he said, if you're a Trump supporter, don't listen to my music. Well, that was after they canceled him anyway. And so, I mean, I'm not really, I like jelly roll fine. I don't know him that well. But, you know, but I wasn't a big listener anyway.

but I've met him a couple times seemed like a nice guy but boy they went nuts I mean nuts get him out of here never listen to his music what did he say I didn't see what he said

I heard about it but jelly roll is a sweetheart I wouldn't have advised him to say I wouldn't have either I've always been careful with that kind of stuff you know that don't be stupid

Ron don't be stupid well he was on the Jimmy Kimmel show right so he was doing a mom I don't even know if he wrote it, you know. It could have been the writers from the Jimmy Kimmel show who are obviously very anti-Trump. Sure. Or at least Kimmel is, very openly anti-Trump. So, you know, they could have just tricked him into doing it.

Tricked him into throwing his career right out the goddamn window. Look, he's super talented. He'll be fine. It'll be one of those things where it's a bump in the road and he'll have to get over it. I hope so. He seemed like such a nice guy when I met. He is. He's a sweetheart.

He'd been a Ron White fan. since he was a kid, you know, and I've got to have a warm place in my heart for those kind of folks. Well, he's also going through a lot of different changes in his life, right? Like, so here he loses 300 pounds, which is a giant change, gets hooked on fitness. This is a giant change. It changes his whole life, changes his body, did the ways to wealthing, just like you. And then he gets divorced. So that's another big change.

So he's got these two giant changes, and then he's on the Kimmel Show, and he's saying stupid things. Yeah. Well, he's saying jokes. I shouldn't even say he's saying stupid things. He's saying, I'm not even saying it's stupid. I'm just saying, like, if you want people to like you, like going after Trump and that, especially from his perspective, like, as a country guy, like, that's a giant chunk of your crowd. Absolutely. But if you feel like that's what he was doing stand up, you know, at the club.

Yeah. He did it a bunch times. And he was practicing. So I think that's also one of the reasons why he wanted to host the Kimmel Show. I think that might have been rushed a little bit. Stand-up's really hard. It's a long road. It is.

He got laughs. He had some good lines, but it was, you know, it was what you expect from someone who's beginning their stand-up journey. Yeah. But I think, you know, if you know the guy, when I do, he's the best. He's a sweetheart. I mean, at least my experiences with them have all been awesome and with other people that I know. Yeah.

He's a very jolly, friendly, lovable guy. But like all people, he is human, and humans do things that other humans don't like. And then you suffer the consequences and, you know. Right. I think it'll be fine. He'll be fine because he's super talented. I mean, he's a fucking brilliant singer and brilliant songwriter. We'll see.

I think it'd be fine. I think, you know, if he could do it all again, I bet he probably wouldn't. That's part of life, you know? You can't back up. No. You do some things you wish you hadn't. You go, oh, shit. You know, but talented people.

Look at Kanye West. He had a fucking diamond swastika around his neck a year later. He's selling out giant arenas. Right. I can't explain. I can't explain Kanye. People bounce back. Well, he's super talented.

I mean, that's really the thing. Yeah. Unbelievably prolific and super talented and driven. Right. Like a motherfucker. And full-blown nuts. Yep. Just like us, you know.

Just in a different way. I mean, everybody's fucking crazy. That's the thing, like, people are attacking jelly roll. One of the reasons people like to do that is they're terrified of them ever doing something that's stupid. And so then when someone does do something that they think is stupid, but they just can't wait to attack. Boy. Especially someone that's, like, on top of the world with jelly roll. It's relentless.

I mean, I've watched TikTok, you know, and I just see those feeds coming through. is jelly roll. Boy, they're losing their minds over it. I'm like, what? Trump invented name calling. He's the one that brought it back from the death with Ellen DeGenerate. That was the first one he did, I think. Yeah.

And I'm like, oh, name calling. That's what we're back to. I don't even know what the joke was. It was saying Trump's a fat fuck just like me. What was he saying? That's what he said. I mean, I don't know what the whole bit was, but. That's all it was?

But he said, Trump is a. Trump's like me. He's a fat pig. That's it? That's it. And that's what they got mad at? That's what they got mad at. He called the president of fat pig. He's kind of fat. Well, he's definitely not thin. Yeah.

Not from where I'm sitting. I mean, was the joke, like, he could lose weight because I lost weight? I mean, what was he saying? I just think he was saying he said. Should we play it? Yeah. All right, let's play it. Oh, it says here.

Okay. Fat pig comment. Like how... Jelly roll joke that his own 300-pound weight loss meant he essentially lost an entire Donald Trump. The fat pig comment, he quoted past remarks Trump made about others and said, well, Mr. President, from one fat pig to another, take it from me that physical fitness is very important. Huh, that's not bad.

Right. That's not bad at all. From one fat pig to another? Yeah. Saying that he lost an entire Donald Trump. Okay, he did. Like literally, he lost 300 pounds. that's more than a Trump probably

and then he said from one fat pig to another take it from me that physical fitness is very important. Is that terrible? Yeah, no. That's not terrible at all. And that's it. So maybe the real problem was him being on Kimmel

to begin with. Yeah. It would be a mark against him to And then maybe saying if you're a Trump supporter don't listen to my music. But that was the next day or whatever. Yeah, you can play it. Sadly, those are the only labs Trump's been doing lately. According to the Washington Post, a lot of doctors are worried about the president's weight.

After his last physical, we found out Trump gained 14 pounds, which means he's now tipping the scales at almost 240. It's crazy. Think about this, y'all. In the last few years, I've lost 300 pounds. That means I've lost an entire Donald Trump. And let's be honest, based on his approval ratings, it seems like most of the country wants to do the same thing.

We should take it easy, y'all. We shouldn't be making fun of the president for his weight because we know that he would never do that to other people. I don't speak badly about somebody's physical disability. But he's got the biggest stomach I have ever seen. He's actually fat or than ever. The mayor is incompetent and the governor is a big fat slob. I told you, I have a friend of money.

He's fat as, are you done so a guy like that? He said, Chris Christie's a fat pig. You cannot do that. Chris Christie is not a fat pig. He is not a fat pig. He's not a fat pig. Don't call him a fat pig. Sir, in the back, don't call him a fat pig.

Okay? I don't talk about people being fat. I refuse to talk about the fact that he's a fat slob. I don't mention it. Well, if that ain't the pot calling the kettle fat. I feel it. Well, Mr. President, from one fat pig to another. take it from me that physical fitness is very important.

And trust me, you'll be happy to see your penis again. I just speak from a little bit of experience here, y'all. The first time I've seen mine recently, I was surprised at how cute it was. It's rudimentary stand-up, right? He's learning how to do stand-up. So he's almost like he's a politician talking. I got to tell you, I think he did a pretty good job with that. He did a very good job.

But, I mean, you know what I'm saying? It's like it's monologue-type stand-up, and clearly someone wrote it, and he's reading it off a teleprompter. Yeah. Probably. But anyway, it wasn't, you know, it certainly wasn't bad. I mean, it was just jokes. It's just jokes.

If someone got so upset, they never want to listen to Jelly Rolls music again after that. They're crying. They're in tears. I see it. I see it. Yeah, it wasn't the funniest stuff. But, I mean, he didn't, that's someone, they wrote that shit for him. I guarantee you.

I'm sure they did. 100%. You could tell he's reading it. It wasn't like he was just speaking off the cuff. He was 100% reading a thing. He looked good, though. It looks great. Didn't he?

He looked kind of handsome. He's very handsome now. He lost a lot of weight, man. I mean, the guy, when he came to do the podcast, he ran six and a half miles on the treadmill while we were hanging out. No shit. Oh, yeah. And talking while he's running. So I'm working out.

I'm in front of him working out lifting weights, and he's running on this treadmill the entire time. And talking while he's running. Wow. Yeah, he's fit now. It's kind of crazy. We went to see him, you know, he performed at, you know, Matthew McConaughey, has that Mac and Jack, that big. thing that they do where it's a big, it's a charity benefit and auction and he has people perform. So he, Jelly Row performed. He was a performer that night. And then as he's coming off the stage,

there's this stairway with a railing on it. And we're, me and Tony are over to the left side, we're, you know, behind stage. He grabs a hole of the railing and jumps over it. And I go, do you know what you just did? I go, you used to be 500 pounds. And now you just grabbed a railing and jumped over it like a cat. Like, that's crazy. Wow. So, like, you're a different human being. That's kind of inspiring, actually.

It's very inspiring. Yeah, I wish he didn't say that stuff, but, I mean, it's just sometimes the juice is not worth the squeeze. Yeah, you're right about that. You know? You got to figure out the juice and the squeeze, baby. You got to figure it out. But, you know, if you know Jelly Roll, he's a great guy.

It's just that kind of monologue stand-up stuff. It is funny seeing all the different times. Trump called people fat, though. That is fucking hilarious. But, you know, Trump supporters are fucking nuts, man. They're rabid. He represents something other than just a person to them. Oh, it's Christ.

Yeah. Well, he represents something, a leader that they wish they had, you know? Yeah. Which is a real problem. Our society, in general, with leaders. We look to them as if there's something different than every other person that's ever been a leader before. Like, this is the one. This is the one that's going to save us.

Right. And you know what? Some people are hopeless. And there are anybody that says, well, I'll give you hope. And, you know, what are you going to do? You know, if you got to, I've told me, I've said this more than once that back when, that if you really want to improve your lot in life and you don't really have anything, you don't really have an education, you should be Bernie fucking Sanders, you know,

who's your guy. Because he wants to get the minimum wage up. think somebody's going to come in and hand you a bunch of loot. That's never going to happen. Maybe you can make a couple more bucks an hour. Go with that. You know, that's not, is it Bernie Sanders? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. The guy from Vermont. Yeah. Okay. So, you know, he was really trying to help. Mm-hmm. But that's not enough. We don't. Well, they didn't want him. The Democratic establishment did not want that guy. That was the first time that I ever got attacked when I had Bernie on. and someone was on the podcast

and they said, who are you going to vote for? I said, oh, it was Jimmy Doer. And I said, if I was going to vote for anybody, I'd probably vote for Bernie. He's one to make some most sense. Like, he's the only guy that's like, he's anti-war. He wants to take a small amount of money from stock market speculation

and use that to fund a bunch of these social programs. I'm like, let's see, this is a long time ago. I don't necessarily think that I feel the same way anymore about him. one of the reasons being is that he kind of gave in to the Democratic establishment. He let them run him over during that whole thing with Hillary where they rigged the primary.

He let them get away with stuff where I think he should have put his foot down and said this is fucked up. You guys are rigging the party. They haven't had a legit primary in like what? More than a decade? That's not good. That's not good if you want to be the party

that's the solution, the change. Well, you have, where's your primary? What are you doing? Like when they installed Kamala, they just shoved her in there. And all of a sudden, this is our representative now. Biden's out. And we were like, wait, what?

Right. There's no primary? Like, what about the rules? What about the way we've always done this? Well, Biden was taking a nap. He had to do something. It's amazing. He's still alive.

I thought he was going to die right after he got out of office. I thought he was probably barely hanging on, which is also one of my big fears about him doing another four years. Like there's no way he's going to make it out of four years. I don't know. It's all going to be over soon. What do you mean?

AI or the apocalypse? The apocalypse. Do you hear J.D. Vance was doing a speech I was listening to on Tim Dillon's show. Yeah. I almost brought this up a second ago. I just saw it on Twitter again. He was talking about end times. What was his exact quote?

Let's play it. Let's play it. First of all, who are you talking to? that you feel like this is the thing to say. This is talking about, like, whether or not we're entering end times. J.D. Vance was? Yes. He's on 10 Billings show?

No, no, no, no, no. He was just giving this speech. Tim Dillon was making fun of it. It's fucking hilarious. What's he saying? Friends and their family. So I tend to think, like, while I wouldn't be shocked if we are living in the end times, what I'm trying to focus on is doing.

as much of God's work as possible right now. And if that leads to the end times, okay. And if that leads to, you know, us building a better world that thrives and survives for a very long time after I'm gone, that's great too. I just think you've got to kind of try to happen. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It sounds like he's saying if it lead that the second hope is it leads to a great world. Yeah.

But if it leads to the end times. That's okay too. You know, us building a better world that thrive. And if that leads to the end times, okay? Not okay. Yeah. What are you saying? If that leads to the end times okay?

Not great. That's not okay. And if it doesn't lead to the end times and everybody lives a great life, well, that's great too. That'd be just fine. That doesn't seem like the optimum perspective. What are they even saying? It's like you should reverse those two. and the goal is not end times.

The goal is make a beautiful world where people thrive and everybody's happy. And leave the end out. That's the problem with religious people that are convinced that there's a set of events that have been predicted. You think he's a religious person? You think he's a fake religious person?

Vance? Yeah. Did he Vance? He's a Catholic. He's very religious. He wrote a book about, what was his book? Communion. Yeah.

That one was called his Pitchin. Yeah. Yeah, he wrote a book about his spiritual journey. Oh, I didn't. I saw the other movie. Yeah, I mean, that's why Communion, the other one, I know, I brought that up when he was on the podcast. Like, you know you wrote a book about a guy who got abducted by aliens? That's the same book, title. That's Whitley Stryber's book, Communion. Oh, shit?

Yeah, there's a famous movie with, who's in the, who's in Communion? God damn. I don't think, I want to say someone, but I don't think it's right. 1989 I just knew about Hilbyle that's right I just knew about

hillbilly allergy or whatever the fuck Yeah that was his first book And this new one is communion But there was a book called communion By this guy

Whitley Striber Who had been abducted By aliens allegedly You know about the name changes What is that He's changed his name Like four times What

Yeah Wait a minute Okay James Donald Bowman His birth name James David Hamill, the name given to him after his mother married her third husband. Oh, well, that's understandable.

Yeah, but he changed it when he was in high school, I think, for that one. But he adopted him. He went by J.D. Hamill through high school. That makes sense. James David Vance, the name he adopted in 2013 before graduating from law school, changing his name to Vance to honor his maternal grandparents, Ma Ma'aw and Paw, who helped raise him.

Well, there's a logic behind it, least. It's not like he's like ducking taxes or something. Right. Maybe. I'm not saying that's why he did it, but how many people do you know have changed their name like that? Not. Maybe. At least more than once. That is odd. He did it three times.

Four. I wonder if you're trying to reinvent yourself. Why do you do that? I don't know. I don't like the end times talk. I don't trust him. I don't like that talk. That kind of talk is crazy talk. Yeah. Like if it's end times okay, no. Jamie said it best.

Not good. Not okay. That's not okay. That's not okay. No, that spooks me out. That's like I understand why people are attracted by religion. I understand it from like giving you a moral framework and ethical framework. I get that.

But when people think that they absolutely know what the interpretations are and absolutely know what's going to happen. And I'll absolutely quit listening to them talk. If they, if that's what they come in me with, know and you don't know. I'm like, well, my uncle was a Baptist preacher, so I grew up in the church and was really involved, really involved

with every single aspect of the Baptist church. And I believed that my uncle was the, who you met, he smelled like piss, and he was having problems, but he was my hero, my whole life, because I thought he was the only one that was telling me

the truth. And he ends up hitting on my girlfriend. He was an animal. He was. He asked her to marry him. He asked Jeannie to marry him. That's hilarious. I came home. They'd watch the show and then they came back and I had another show to do. I came back. Nobody was in the living room. I was staying at the condo and I said, how to go? And he goes, he asked me to marry him. And I'm like, well, he was joking, right? And I said, I'm in love with your nephew. And he goes, did he ask you to marry him? Like, fuck, dude, really? And I mean, I never. I never. Wasn't he really old then?

Yeah, well, yeah, he's 90. Yeah, I think he's kind of not really all there. No, no, he's not all there anymore. But still, I grew up in the church, and I understand the church. Right. And I understand what's good about it. And yes, they were teaching a good way of life, you know, to be honest and, you know, all those things that you should be. And you should follow those 10 commandments anyway.

You know, they're all good except for one of them or something. I don't want them I don't like, but I can't remember which one it was. But anyway, I came away from the whole thing with that. I'm like, how do I know? My family, we never talked about politics that much. We were in a little town up in the Panhandle, and they were all Baptist or Church of Christ, and even they didn't agree with each other. And the Church of Christ is kind of a Texas religion.

It started here. Oh, really? Yeah. And so it's very small. But my grandmother was that. And so, you know, she'd go around picking up all the little ladies and go to this little church. And she spoke in tongues every Sunday morning. She would stand up and. And I was sitting right next to her and embarrass me every single time. And then the preacher's wife would stand up and interpret because she had the gift of interpretation. That's one of the gifts. And it was always a fundraising thing. You know, it was always the Lord telling you to go deep into your wallet. Oh, how convenient. Yeah, yeah. Did you ever see the, what is the gemstones? Fabulous Gemstones?

What is this is called? Righteous, righteous gemstones? The funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Damn, that's a good show. Oh, it is so rich, man. I just can't wait for another fucking season of that. That show is fucking phenomenal. And that's a real thing.

I mean, that's where Kinnison started. You know, Kinnison was one of those revival, tent revival preachers. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? That's where I learned this art form was watching my uncle preach. He was very funny. And always getting a laugh on stage, saving souls every fucking week. And I thought it was the greatest thing ever. But he was a great orator, you know, really, really good. And I know that's where I learned, I want to be that guy on stuff. But I just don't want to have a religious message. You know, I want to be able to tell some dick jokes. But that's where I got it. I know. And that's where Chris Rock. got his too, you know. His dad was her uncle or something was a preacher, right? And pretty common. A really good preacher is a really good orator. Yeah. There's people that are good at it and this Larry the cable guy. His dad was a preacher. Makes sense. And a pig farmer. Wow. That adds up to Larry the cable guy. That makes sense. It's just, it's a real problem when people pretend they have the answers. Because people want to believe that they do. They really want to believe this person

knows when someone tells you you have to do this or you're going to burn in hell forever like are you fucking sure yeah really if you thought this through how do you know right based on what i have no idea but i'm glad it's there and i'm glad people are tied to it and uh you know i don't want to i don't care about i don't bust on anybody's faith because i don't believe that it doesn't mean that you that doesn't mean i'm right you know i've been wrong about so many people fucking things, I might be wrong about all of it. The problem was when someone believes something, but then wants to force other people to believe it too.

And that's an age-old problem with human beings. That's a real issue. All right, Ron, let's get the fuck out of here. We've got a show to do tonight. Let's go. Let's go do it, man. I'll be there at 7 o'clock or whatever. Yes, sir.

And then I'm closing Thursday night. Beautiful. To get ready for these shows in Florida. Nice. Can you look up my dates in Florida real quick? So I'd say which ones. He's already got it. TaterSalletor.com.

Yeah, there we go. Dayton Beach, Jacksonville on the 11th, Dayton Beach on the 12th, Sarasota on the 13th, all throughout Texas. Yeah, Grand Prairie, that's the anniversary date right there. September 18th. Yeah. 40 years. That's going to be fun. That's going to be a lot of fun.

Tater salad.com. Yeah, Tosmopolitan. How's that cosmopolitan? I heard the cosmopolitan face in Vegas. It's very nice. The clock, yeah. Great, 2,300 cedar. Nice.

So, 1,000 seats bigger than the one I played at the Mirage. Nice. And I stay in the mansion over at the MGM Grand. That's pretty sweet living over there. Look at you. Playing golf? Yeah, playing golf. Let's wrap the pitch up.

All right, bye. Appreciate you, brother. I love you, man. You love to see. Thank you all. Thank you. Bye, brother.