The Joe Rogan Experience - #2559 - Sam Morril

Episode Date: September 29, 2026

Sam Morril is a stand-up comic, writer, actor, and co-host of the "We Might Be Drunk" podcast. Look for his new Netflix special, "Incorrect," on September 29.www.netflix.com/title/82155480www.youtube.com/@sammorrilwww.youtube.com/@WeMightBeDrunkPodwww.sammorril.com Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/rogan or through my promo code ROGAN. Use code ROGAN at https://BlueChew.com to get 10% OFF + Free Overnight Shipping on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joe Rogan podcast, checking out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Sammy boy. What's up, dude? Good to see you, brother. What's happening? It's been a while.

It's good to see you, Joe. It's been a couple years, like we were saying. Yeah, man. It might. Was the club even open? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. So it's been like a year and a half. Something like that. Something like that. Yeah, it's good to be here. You rolling it on the road, just constantly out there?

I was in Europe for two and a half weeks doing gigs, and then they were like, oh, we want to drop your special second half of September. I was like, fuck, all right. So I just had to stay on the road. So, yeah. What is it like in Europe being American? Do they look at you with a side eye? It was weirder last year because I was single last year. I was with my friend who was single.

And he thought he was, like, cool going up to girls in Berlin. He's like, I'm from America and they're like, fuck you. I was like, yeah, I went open with it. I was like, let's say you're from Winnipeg or something. North America. North America, yeah. Don't be specific. I'm like, if you want to get laid, say North America.

But yeah, you know, it's interesting. Everyone responds differently, but I will say I was in Copenhagen to the end and they're selling like, you're seeing the merch on the street and it's like a little Trump holding like a rattle. He's a baby. And it says, I want Greenland. They're selling that in the street. So, yeah, they don't like us. Yeah, Ron White was in Switzerland. He said there was like an open hostility.

Yeah, it's tough. It's a bummer. But the crowds are good. The crowds are great. Yeah, I mean, it was like, I was in like, I went everywhere from like Lisbon, new, just all Athens, fucking Croatia. I was in Zagreb. It's amazing. Yeah.

How good is their English over there? Great. They love comedy. It's like the Balkans. They like, people who are just in wars love time. laugh. If you were in a Civil War recently, they'll fucking laugh. And then, yeah, they were great. And yeah, I've been to Sweden. I've done that before, but they were great. I did Sweden once. Sweden is, it's interesting. Like, Europe is interesting. They laugh really hard,

then they stop. And they laugh really hard, then they stop. You don't get like, you know what I'm saying? Dude, Milan is like, I'll do three peto jokes and then they all applaud. And I'm like, what is this, Carson in the 80s? Like, what the hell am I on? But, yeah, Milan's like that. And they laugh hard to get energy. Like, you have to adjust your expectations. Yeah, it doesn't sustain. It's culturally, it's different. Like, I went over there with Hinchcliffe and he was like, I can't get him. I go, you're getting laughs. And he goes, yeah, but then it stops. It's a different thing. You're in a different culture. They probably have to process the language, first of all. It's weird. Yeah, and then, uh, yes, Stockholm, the women are like the hottest

women I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, all those Nordic women. It's like, the Vikings did well. They did. Yeah, we don't talk about the good of pillaging, but, uh, there was some positives to giant handsome men and beautiful women. It works. It just works. It's terrible initially. Yeah. But then a couple hundred years later, you're like, not bad.

Not bad. And peaceful. Somehow or another. Like, one of the most peaceful places, which is weird. Yeah, it is. Right? If you're neutral, it's easy to be peaceful. When was the last time you heard about Iceland going and fucking people up?

Yeah. But you go over there, those are like the biggest, strongest fucking people in the world. They're like all those strong men guys? Finland held off the Nazis. Right. Finland was like, fuck you, fuck you, or they held off Stalin too. Yeah. They were like, Hitler like was watching Stalin like, oh, the Russians aren't that tough.

Because Stalin couldn't take down Finland. Also, I only think they've been a country for like 200 years. Yeah. Like how long has Finland been around? I think it was like, I don't know. Is it 1812 or some shit? Yeah, well, they're tough motherfuckers over there. Yeah.

The dudes are huge. The women are gorgeous. I was starting fights with my girlfriend because I was mad at how hot the women were I was just angry at her for existing I was like I'm fucking I was like look if you want to go on a two and a half day break that's fine I'll do it

no they were the women were so hot that it's just weird that these warlike cultures settled down and became some of the most like amicable peaceful like just even the way they like distribute wealth they have these incredible

health care programs and education and it's like, you were the Vikings. Yeah. How did this happen? Yeah. I mean, Sweden must be nice to just be neutral when shit's going down too. Oh, yeah, except for the banks. Yeah, that's true.

Banks aren't very neutral. That's true. I think that's one of the reasons why they're allowed to be neutral. True. Yeah, that helps you be neutral. Give me the loot. But, yeah, but then Poland and Finland, like, they're on guard. They're like, in case Russia does some shit.

Like, let's stay fucking ready. Yeah, some wild that you have to actually think about that. in 2026. Yeah. That Russia might actually invade Poland. Well, yeah, I think just a missile just hit a train going from Warsaw to Kiev, I think. Great. Fun.

Good times. Good times. Good times. But the crowds are great. That's the important thing. The crowds are very good. They were very welcoming. When you develop a special, do you mostly do it in the city until you get your hour down and then go on the road?

Or do you just like constantly go on the road? How do you do it? A little bit of both. I'm on the road now with maybe like a new 25, 30-ish right now, and I'll cheat and do it. I'll cheat and do a little from the special. But like, yeah, it's a miserable. I never enjoy when a special comes out. I'm miserable.

It's scary. I can't enjoy it. The second it tapes, I'm just like sad for like five months. Because I'm at the cellar. I'm following some young gun who's crushing and excellent and has their killer 15 and I'm just getting buried. And I'm doing new shit that I'm like, I get off stage. I'm like, I should kill myself.

I should quit comedy. And then slowly it gets to a point where it's respectable and you can tape again at some point. You know it's really good for after a post special. Like, I know a lot of guys are doing this at our club is just doing that bottom of the barrel show, Brian Simpson show. Because you just- We have one of those in New York, Wilson-Vin's host at The Comedy Seller. Beautiful.

Yeah. Any kind of show like that. I mean, there used to be one. Although I hate when comics do old shit on it. Yeah, that's right. I get really annoyed. I'm like, I saw that on Fallon. I saw that bit.

I've seen that bit before. The wheel, there was one that they used to do at the creek, which was a wheel. So, like, the audience would write stuff down. You would put it on a wheel and you spin the wheel and then it would land on something. Like a suggestion. Yeah, yeah. I love that. That was a good idea.

And then they have stand-up on the spot in New York, or in L.A., rather. But that one, you yell. Yeah. Just yell shit out, and that gets a little chaotic. Yeah, it's a lot, but it's fun. Yeah. You build stuff and the ball is lowered because they know it's off the cuff. But that's the problem.

You think you riff the brilliant thing, and then you try it with the other stuff. like it's not that good. That's like crowdwork, right? Exactly. Yeah, like crowdwork seems amazing in the moment because people like, he just put that up! Yeah. Then you try to convert that into an actual bit and they're like, that's not. Yeah. My where you're from chunk isn't hitting at all. What the hell? Yeah. What about that lesbian bar? Do you know about it, folks? Yeah. Yeah, dude. No, it's a tough experience, but then also like, the crowds are sophisticated enough that they know the deal now.

They know that they know that you're building towards something. Yeah, for sure. Especially good comedy crowds that go to see comedy all the time. They know exactly what's going on. You're working on new shit.

Yeah. I mean, some people have new shit nights weren't they just do new shit? That's great too. But then you're going to go and see some half-baked comedy. I'd rather just throw it in. And you have to put it against

the old stuff. You have to. I mean, I remember Louis would always say he's opening on his clothes from the last special and you're just like, I'm like, that's a great idea until you have to follow your closer. But man, are you measuring the new shit? It's the only way to make, I mean, his strategy of doing that's brilliant

because it's really the only way to get that other stuff up to the same speed. Totally. Otherwise, you'll get complacent and you'll keep doing a bit the same way. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. You can get almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Sorry, you can't get a beach delivered, but you can get a peach. A canoe? No.

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And also, like, you just have to just keep doing sets. Because you start to hate yourself if you're telling the same joke and you're not adding a tag. you're not, the self-hatred keeps bubbling up. I just did like seven hours this week. I did one in LA and then I did six in San Diego because I'm like, I just have to keep talking until I hate myself to make this joke better. That's literally the only way I can do it.

So I'll do a smaller room and I'll just keep adding shows until I can, until I'm like, okay, I went from like here to here. You just, I was talking to Dan Soder about this the other day. You go from like 22 to then 25 minutes, then you're down to 17, then you're up to 20, then you're down to 12. You just keep, but, you know. It's kind of fun, though, that we all have the same process. It's fun.

It's all kind of, we at least share it with each other because, like, you know, I was like, oh, I'm up to like 52 minutes and I'm like, nope, back to 43. Right. Like, I cut this out. I don't like this anymore. And that's just, that one just phased out. Or I got a new bit that took the place of that. I like it better and it doesn't make sense to bring that back.

I have bits that are like orphans. Like I have a folder called orphans. Yes. And it's just bits that never made it anywhere. They were real. I liked them at one point in time. That'd be a good name for an album, like a B-Sides album, just your orphans. I kind of would actually like to hear that.

It was like when you hear a comic just, I'll see Fahim will do that sometimes. We'll just post a bit that he's never going to use. But it's like, oh, but there's something here. It's like a throwaways, you know? Yeah, yeah. But I kind of like that. Are you a guy who writes on paper, or do you write on a notebook? Dude, I fucking do it.

I do all that. Hold on. Yeah, I do all the little notes. Oh, you're like a Mark Norman-type character, almost. I do all kinds of notes. and I just, yeah, I have to handwrite it. Really? Yeah, because I'll remember it.

I don't remember. I type it too for like a backlog, but yeah, I don't, I have to write everything down, but I won't remember. It is a weird thing that somehow or another writing things down with your hand is, it sinks up with your brain better. Yeah. And I don't understand why. Doesn't make sense, but it's real. Maybe because it's like, and this is a guess, I don't know, but maybe because when you were like learning to write, you just, you're like reading along maybe. in your brain is like a six-year-old or something.

Maybe. Because I wasn't typing at six. I think it's because it takes longer to write. Yeah, that makes sense. I think there's something about it gets imprinted in your brain better because you're physically writing the characters down with your hand, first of all,

so that you have to go through all those steps in your mind, N, A, B, T, you know, you have to put them all down. And then once you've done that, then it takes longer to write it than it does to think about it. So it's just more burned in. Totally. No, I think also you just look like a douchebag if you're reading off your phone on stage too much

so you have to just have a notepad. You look like you actually put more work and thought into it. Right, yeah. If you're just reading your new jokes off a phone, people get upset at you. But if you're reading him off a pad, like, oh, he's an artist. And there's also like an old school thing where you're just like, I don't know.

Like it just feels like this type of pad is right. I don't know why. I like these types of pads. Like legal pads? Yeah, I like the yellow ones even better. But I like something. about it like you rip it out I don't know yeah it feels like it feels like a actual job yeah like yeah yeah are you a sober writer or you get fucked up when you write um I like to write sober but like

yeah I mean I think you get your stories drunk and you write sober you know so I like I'll go out and I like going on adventures I romanticize drunken night even in this special it's like I have so many dumb drunken night stories still because it's like sometimes I'm like feeling blocked I'm like I should go out in a fucking adventure and sometimes nothing happens but sometimes you're like That's a bit. That's something. Yeah. You just let the night. I like stuff where you're at the mercy of the night and you don't really have control.

Like, I love that movie After Hours by Scorsesey where he's just like basically in chaos for a whole night. I romanticized. Who is in that movie? Griffin Dunn. I don't think I saw that. It's great. It's just like an all night. It's like The Odyssey, but a guy in Tribeca in the 80s stuck all night.

And it's fucking hilarious. It's a comedy. It's really funny. But the idea that you're stuck out. out all night and I don't know I like I still like an adventure every once in a while you don't have kids yet I don't that's why I can get away with it probably yeah you're a bad dad if you're doing that yeah once you have kids you're like I don't want to take this because I could die oh yeah I don't do drugs I it's really mostly just alcohol that's good but every now and

then someone will give you a drink and it's not really a drink you got to be careful yeah no I'll I'll go myself I don't I'm not taking strangers drinks that sounds like a bad idea before. Really? Not in a long time, but I've done that in the past. I'm like, this is probably a bad idea. Did you something in it? No.

No, nothing. I got roofied in college from that. Did you? Yeah, it was clearly a fat guy meant for a girl. And I was like, I'll take it. And he was just like, what the fuck? And I drank it. And I, that's all I remember.

How'd you wake up? I was in the dorm, but I was like, what the? And another guy I was with got roofied too, because he left me a voicemail and made no fucking sense. That is. But we saved some woman, I think. Hopefully. I hopefully.

That's some. Truly evil shit. Yeah, I mean, you're fucking... Truly. It's as bad as it gets. Yeah. That's... And it's horrific, how prevalent it is.

Like, how many girls will tell you they've been drugged? Dude, it was a thing, too, when I was in school, it was a thing they would just say, don't go to that frat house, stay roofy. Like, you would just say it casually,

which I sure as fuck whole times have changed that that's not a thing anymore. But back then, that was just the thing you said. Don't go to Pike. They roofy or whatever. So scary, dude. Crazy. Just so weird

that someone was willing to do that. I don't like Greek life. I don't like that culture. I don't like it never did. The idea that you're bonding with someone because they're like torturing you. It never did it for me. I don't, I'm out against hazing. Like in comedy, I like that people like trash me and stuff.

I love that. That's a different kind of hazing though. You don't have to like shit in a diaper and fucking drink five gallons of water in three minutes. How does that prove that we're friends that I should in a diaper for you? Yeah. Wisconsin frat leader is arrested after 30 pledges found in filthy basement injured and covered in condiments. And other things they said, but other condiments is all they really talked about in the news. Condiments. Like other sauces or, you know, I don't know. Prove you my brother. And it was very

hot down there, they said too. What? Just for what? So you can hang out with these assholes? That's the thing. I never looked at them like I want to hang out with these. I remember leaving, I thought they were going to beat the shit out of me too. Like this is how they lived? They were just stuck. They were being hazed trying to get in the frat or something. Some incident. I mean, for what? Go to cool parties? I'm sure there's some good ones out there, but it's not for me.

I just, I mean, maybe if I got in, I would get it. I never tried. No. My college days were a complete waste of time. I went to college just so I wouldn't have to tell people I wasn't going to college. Yeah. I think that's, at that time, that's how you had to do it. But I think now it's a lot of people are self-educated and you learn stuff.

It's such a waste of money. It's like, you know. Well, you can, if you were disciplined enough, you can get a full university education online. One of the most successful people I know, the schools were too slow for him, and he just did all the courses he would have taken at like four speed and dropped out in one semester. And he became insanely rich on his own. He was like, I got this, which is unbelievable. What does he do? He's a tech guy, but he just made a shitload of money.

Thank God for vaccines. It wasn't for autism. Where would that guy be? I mean, he is a fucking, is a gifted guy. It's just one part of your brain that just... Yeah, I mean, I think some of it's genetic, but I think there are some people where something happens. And then all of a sudden, they're just way smarter.

You've heard of, like, injury savants? Like, people get hit in the head, and all of a sudden they can speak Chinese. Have you ever heard of that? Or they think it's Chinese. It's not Chinese. But there are some people. There's people that have gotten hit in the head and all of a sudden they can do complex math.

Or they get hit in the head and they're just changed. I knew a guy like that where he was just, I only knew him after the hit and they were like he used to be a different dude. Oh, it's 100% real. I've seen that. I've seen that with many people. Damn.

Many people. Foreign accent syndrome. Oh, it's accent. Rare medical condition where a person suddenly speaks with a pattern that sounds like a foreign accent even though they have never visited or lived in that region. I think that's just crazy people. I don't think that's like an injury.

But there's injuries. The mysterious condition that changes people's accents. I love how it's a condition. Maybe someone's just fucking completely insane and just pretending. I'll never forget that day. I was just singing as I do. And all of a sudden, all these voices and sounds were coming out of my mouth. That's not my own.

And I'm like, hang on a second. Am I dreaming about this? Angie has now been diagnosed with the condition Nine years ago 60 minutes met some of them including British woman Sarah Colwell whose accent changed following a severe migraine She said no you sound like you can work at Chinese a reservoir

Oh no She's shit the fuck out this lady's crazy She's pulling a fast one Yeah 100% Does any white guys who just start talking black from that you think? Sure 100%. Be. Yeah.

Just one head injury with a rap music on. Yeah. I mean, that, you can talk normal lady. You're choosing to do that. There's no fucking way. Like, that comes from speaking a different language. They're like, whoa, she's like, hold on. I got one of these.

What, Jamie? What do you think her accent's going to be as a new lady here? German. Eastern European accent after starting new epilepsy medication. New epilepsy. Yes, okay. I speak a fun accent. So it makes sense.

But for goodness sake, what is fun accent syndrome? 28-year-old Angie is the latest. What is it? You have something. Strange club. What happened to her? She developed her Irish accent 10 days after having her tonsils removed. Whether this is the cause, we'll never know.

Well, we'll never go. It's a standard procedure. Let me hear. It has located my voice to a different country without a visa. Well, that didn't sound Irish. Yeah. She sounded normal. Yeah, maybe it's temporary.

Maybe they're faking it. You know, some. People also, like, they lose feeling in their face for like a half. Maybe it's just like a half a day that happens. It just doesn't make sense because the whole reason why people talk without accents is because they're used to speaking in Chinese. Chinese has completely different sounds to the words and it's difficult to transition to English words. Yeah. I've never seen or heard of this.

That's a crazy person. Almost 200 cases have been documented. Of course. Well, there's 200 cases in this town of people that think they're a fox. The football season is heating up and every week. feels bigger with Draft Kings. The Draft King Sports app is now live in all 50 states. That means from Texas to California to Florida, every fan is in on the excitement.

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$50. Click to claims every seven days for 14 days. Terms at dkng.com slash offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sports book predictions and free to play sports contest availability. varies by state. There's foxkin, you know? Is that a real thing? Oh, I follow a ton of people.

Wait, I thought there was a joke. Fox? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You think you're an animal or fox. Oh, well, they're furries. You know, there's a lot of furries that take it. You know, there's like casual furries. I thought that was like a...

Every now and then. But that's like a sex thing I thought. No, no, no. Some, for some. Listen. Don't put these people in a basket. Don't put baby in a corner. They can do whatever they want.

You see some, I saw a guy in a chain in New York, like on a leash being walked. Yeah. That's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Being walked on a leash. Yeah. That's fucking.

They're having fun. Two guys having fun. Can't get pregnant. No problems. Yeah. Have that it, fellas. Yeah, sure. Enjoy yourselves.

Sure. I mean, I don't have any problem with that. That doesn't bother me at all. But people that pretend they're animals. There's something about that. This guy got tied up to the Hollywood. signed last week. Good for him. By a dominatrix.

Probably came like a rocket. In the middle of the day. He was probably super excited about it. Why? I had this lady on my podcast back in the Disney and she was a humiliatrix. And her whole thing was she would take these wealthy CEO type guys that like in control, constantly in control. And she would humiliate them and they would pay her.

And one of the things that they would do is they would pay her to blackmail them. So she would make them do things like suck a dick on camera and then send her the video I'm not bullshin And then she would have that footage they got off on the fact that she had them like she was very professional She would never do anything with it but she pretended that she would and this was the game like they he they wanted to feel Yeah, what a great gig you can ask for a raise whenever you want what are they gonna fucking do? What a what a what a film of them sucking a dick? So she would say I want a film of you sucking a dick Wow and that I'm gonna take that film and this is pre-AI too this is a long time so it's a real guy sucked a real guy's dick because he wanted this lady to have this information over him yeah it's like it's just you've gone too far in the kink thing it's like you've gone have you though

listen i won't want that's too far man i think if you're one of those guys that is a CEO of some major business and you're working 16 hours a day you're probably losing your fucking mind Yeah, and I guess you're trying to come in the most efficient manner possible. You're like, I need seven hours asleep. I'm working 16 hours. Well, I would think that maybe that kind of power and control over a large corporation is probably so overwhelming. You need a release valve. Of course.

And the release valve is someone having ultimate control over you. Yeah, no, those guys are usually subs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're used to control. Dominatrix is always... Anytime I see a powerful man, I'm like, I bet you like to get pegged. But you get your nuts kicked. I bet.

You see those guys? They just lay down with their hands tied behind their back and girls kick them in the nuts. That scares me for like a permanent injury. Oh, yeah. You could permanently have like a nut in you, right? Well, you could blow your nut out. I know two dudes who've had their nuts blown out personally. What does that entail?

It entails usually a shin to the nuts and it makes your nuts explode, makes one of your nuts explode, and they have to remove it. They remove your nut. I know a guy who did. He was going to do like some light sparring with this guy. He said, ah, we're just going to go light. I don't need my cup. So he goes out there and like a minute into the round.

He gets kicked in the nuts and his nut explodes. That is fucking awful. Loses a nut. He's a one nut champ now. God. And now you guys just got to pray you don't get testicular cancer in the other nut. Right. Because like that's, I would think about that.

That's a rap. You know, because you hear about these people that go deaf in one ear. I'm like, you better pray you don't lose hearing in the other. You want to hear what's crazy? They can do dick transplants, but they can't. Really? Yep. They've done it, but they can't do nut transplants.

Because say like if... Wait, what is a dick transplant? A dick transplant. You get an actual dick from a dead guy. Like, say you're in Afghanistan, you're in an IED, your dick and your balls get blown off of you. It's happened before. They will transplant a dick onto you.

But no balls. No balls. You know why? Because say if... It's like a burger with no fries. It doesn't hit the same. This is what's wrong. If you got your dick blown off and you had to get Jamie's dick and balls, you would...

If you died. Oh, wow. If you died. Just giving them up. Okay, let's say red band. Let's say red band's dick and balls. The problem is you would have red band's sperm forever. So you would have his DNA.

I mean, that's not the only problem. There's multiple problems. You lost your dick. That's the big one. But the other one is you will... But you can't procreate without. balls anyway. Right. You won't be able to procreate. Yeah. But if you got the ball transplant, you would be able to procreate. If you got the ball transplant, you would be able to procreate. But you would not

be procreating with your DNA. You would be procreating with his DNA. But how safe are these penile transplants? These can't be safe and effective. Really? Safe and effective. Did you read about that guy in Bangkok? I'm making that up. I'm not going in. Yeah, the guy who lost, he died. He got a dick. That was like an enhancement, though. Yeah, yeah. But he went with his fucking wife. Who didn't try to talk him out of it. Yo. That's got to feel bad.

Or good. She wanted out. Yeah, maybe she talked him into it. Maybe she slipped the guy an extra hundred to double up the fucking gas. What's this? First total penis transplant. No. What?

And? And scrotum transplant. Yeah. But is that testicles? 14-hour surgery? It said for ethical reasons, not the testicles. Yeah. excluding testicles for ethical reasons.

That's why. So the structure, like the scrotum. Will it work, though? Yes. No, it won't work. So that's the ethical reason. The ethical reason is the testicles produce the DNA of the person who's dead. So you would be having his babies, which is wild.

Is it, do you pee smoothly or how does that go? So this first one. Smooth is a weird question. We get full urinary and sexual function. Wow. Father to child. What? What? Wait a minute. How did he father a child? This was in 2014. Okay. He lost his organ due to a botched circumcision, but he might have kept his nuts. Oh, yeah. That's different. Yeah, but we're just talking about the penile thing, I thought. Right. So he got a new dick and fathered a child. Circumcision after 20 is a bad idea. Yeah, well, circumcision is fucking crazy. Are you circumcised or no? I am, but I didn't have any say in the matter. Right. Me and my wife actually had an argument about it if we were going to have a child that was a boy. We obviously had children. But,

I was like, I don't want to get them circumcised. I had a joke about it. She's like, circumcised dicks look disgusting. I'm like, how many have you seen? Like, you said that so confident. Yeah. I just picture a river of sleepy, uncircumcised dicks. Dude, I...

That's a fun statement. A sentence is tough. Five penis transplants have been performed worldwide. Next sentence. Mixed outcomes have been reported. Out of five. And two of the five penile transplant. If you're a baseball player, that's pretty good.

If you're a surgeon, it's not that good. If you're Tony Gwynn, it's fine. What does it say? It says two of the five, what? Can you click on it and see what it says? With that, it says, two of the five, what happens to those two of the five? Required explanation. Oh, have required explanation.

What does that mean? Two of the five penile transplants have required explanation? Hey, why's your dick black? I can explain. Hold on. However, the long-term outcome has been encouraging when compliance is implemented, whether standard induction or triple therapy maintenance or single therapy maintenance. If you're going to go through this, you should be able to pick the dick out.

Like you go to a nice steakhouse and they bring in the knives. Or yeah, or a lobster tank? Yes. I want the big one. I want the big one. I wouldn't want to go through that for a fucking tiny dick. Imagine you go through that and you still have a five-inch dick and you have to explain. Like, it's not even my dick.

I know it's little, but look, it's not mine. To discount in China. Yeah, I found it. Yeah. I found it at a motorcycle wreck. Areas of uncertainty include the ethics of donor recipient color mismatch. Right? If you're like one of those guys, like, it's got to be black.

Please, just get me a black dick. We're all one color. We're all one race. Surveillance for sexually transmitted infections and how to optimize patient compliance. Right. Imagine if you get some guys deck and it just all ate up with the herps. Yeah. And it looked good when it was like in the box.

They're like, nice. Yeah, I don't mind herpes. I want it to be my herpes. Right. I want to at least earn it. Like, how did this guy get the herpes? That's the question. Was he just raw dog and prostitutes?

Was he an animal? Yeah, I want a backstory. How did he die? It should come with a brochure. Yeah, did he die of a fucking heroin overdose in a terrible warehouse somewhere? You should know the Carfax on it. Yeah, I'd like that. I would.

It's been in an accident before. The first transplanted film. I have a friend who has dick broken. What? Fucking? Yeah, the girl got on top and she got a little crazy. I'll be honest, I worry sometimes when that happens. It can get crazy.

Things can happen, especially if the lady's got a lot of power. You know, like maybe you're dating a softball player or something, has got a good squat. She's got good thighs. Yeah, and she's fuck around. And she misses the mark and it hits the taint. I've definitely been like, ooh, let's take it easy. Well, it could get out of control. Yeah.

Yeah. Especially on top, because you're in danger. It's like one of the one times where a man's in danger. I slept with a woman once who told me she, but all we were fucking, I was I fucked NBA players. I don't know why she told me that while we were having sex. Ew. We were both, first of all, I was like, well, which NBA players? And she was like, I'm not telling you. I was like, well, I'm a Nick's, I want to know if you fucked the Nick, you know?

Just as, like, selfishly as a fan. But she was moving her hips in a way where I'm like, this is not my sport. Like, this is not for me. She's going hard. She was going hard. Yeah, when a girl's telling you that while it's like, hey, I fuck super athletes. It's like, ew. I know.

Hey, there's no way I can compete with this. And I was also like, you're aware I'm not a super athlete. She's trying to make you feel funny. Like, uncomfortable. She was hammered and so was I. And it was like one of the things. I think she was trying to be funny. Oh, or hot.

Maybe you would think it was hot. I don't think it's hot. Yeah. You're fucking a super athlete. Like, that's the top of the food chain. Like, especially NBA players because they're the tallest. They're the tallest super athletes. Yeah, they're also, I'm assuming much larger than me.

I'm assuming. Imagine they weren't. They'd be so disappointing. Yeah. I'd be disappointed. We missed up. This is not the word required explanation. Explantation. Oh.

What's an explantation? I think that means that it'd take it off. What? Is that what it means? When you'd plant something and then you would expplant it, right? Oh. I was reading an article. Oh, boy. I was reading an article about a trans man who went through that and got a fake penis off of his arm.

You know how they do that? You know how they do that? No, I don't know. Oh, you're not in the same check group as me and Shane. Wait, what is it? I'm lost. I'm very lost already. Wait, a penis off the arm, what does that mean?

You don't know this? No. Okay, you're in for a treat. There are trans men who have, it's not artificial penis. It's a constructed, let's say constructed, to be kind. A constructed penis. Okay. Where they literally take a giant hunk of meat off of your arm.

roll it up and construct a penis out of that. It's like the Empire strikes back. Crazy. And then they build a penis and then put that sucker down yonder where to cover the vaj. The vaj hole's still there. Whose arm are they taking that out of?

Your own. This is like a hair transplant but your actual fucking arm. Wow. And it's a massive scar. That's tough. Yeah. And it's not, it's, it does.

doesn't always work. So this one guy, I think he had it done at least once and was doing it a second time. God, I want to say he had it done twice and it didn't work out. And they were moving to the thighs. Because sometimes the blood doesn't flow and it becomes necrotic. And so it's literally like rotting off and they have to remove it so you don't get septic. Oh, man. And it's not like it works. That's tough. It's a tough procedure. It's one of those things where I feel like man had penis grown in his arm after losing genitalia to sepsis. But that's a guy. When I saw my penis go black, I was beside myself.

It was like a horror film. What happened to your front teeth, buddy? I have a feeling it's more to the story. It's like a horror film. By the way, what horror film? I've never seen that movie. Was that a West Craven? Your dick just went black?

Yeah. That's like the substance for men, though. That is rough. That is a horror. That movie was crazy. I didn't love it. You didn't love it? I don't like body horror stuff.

It just, I feel like I get it. It's like, I don't, I like more like psychological horror. I don't like when it's just like, I'm uglier and uglier and it's crazier and crazier. My body's exploding. I'm like, it makes me kind of, although that movie saved my life, so I have to give it a little love. How to save your life? Because we were on the road, it was the first night I didn't do a tour bus. And because it was just like three cities.

So we did a sprinter van. And Gary Veter and I, who I toured with, we were watching the back seat. And it was like 3 a.m. So we're just like, oh, let's just watch this movie. and the driver just fell asleep at the wheel and drove us off the road and we were only awake because we were watching the movie.

Holy shit. So I was like, yeah. So we were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, and he just like drove us off the fucking road. Did he wake up? Yeah, he woke up. He's like, oh, my bad. We're like, now you gotta pull over.

We'll get a different car. My bad is crazy. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah, we almost died, my bad. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, I always think that about tour buses.

Like, you're just banking. Well, it wasn't our tour bus driver's amazing. He would never do that. That's great. Yeah, yeah. What if they accidentally fell asleep? He eats pickles all night so he won't fall asleep. How does that work?

Acidity. Really? Yeah, because he's like coffee. I'll just be numb to after a while, but the taste of the acidity keeps me awake. He's been doing tour buses forever. Is that just him? Or is that like a known tactic? I think it's just him, but he's great.

We never were worried with him. For folks on the road that are driving, if you're listening to this and you worry about falling asleep, this is the best method I've ever found. take a wet washcloth with ice cubes. Yeah. Wet wash cloth with ice cubes and just rub your face like every few minutes, it keeps you wide awake. That's smart.

And it doesn't hurt. I used to slap myself. I tried to stay like when I was young and dumb. Yeah. I would do gigs and I'd be driving from like Western Massachusetts. Like three hours in the middle of the night. That's smart actually. Slap or like, I mean, did coffee roll down?

Coffee does usually work. The problem is once that fucking warm air and the car starts hitting you again and the lines start talking to you, like, Sam, just close one eye. Oh, dude. So close your eyes for a few seconds, just a few seconds. I think about it. I mean, people fucking die that way.

Also, you know, I think about how many people have died that way. A lot. A lot of car. Because they always say, because you're always like, I'm more scared of a flight than a car, but then they're like, no, cars are more dangerous. It's shit like that, sleep deprivation. Someone fucking Kinnison, right?

Guy going the wrong way. Drunk. Yeah. Drunk? The Kinnison one was crazy because Kinnieson. and used to have a joke about how we all drive drunk. He goes, you could trace that back to any comedian.

We're going to pull it off because we do it every fucking night. He had a bit about it. Yeah. It was very irresponsible. There's a really famous basketball player. I was just in Croatia, Drozhen Petrovich. He's like their legend. He was like when Yugoslavia almost beat the dream team.

He was the guy. He was like their Jordan and he died. His girlfriend was driving and he's asleep in the car. She survived. The woman in the back survived. He died. Did she fall asleep? No.

a car was coming the wrong way a truck and dude he was like unbelievable too they have a big statue of him in Zagreb cars yeah we just get real comfortable with the idea that some

fucking dip shit next to you is gonna keep it together while you're going 60 miles an hour I won't ride a fucking city bike dude I don't trust city bike people they're reckless in the city man I don't want to you know bikes are crazy because

you get hit by a car you're done you get hit by a car you're done You get hit by another car in a car At least you have there's something around you Yeah The chances of you getting wiped out by a bike Like especially those dudes who are cutting lanes They're cutting motorcycles like bro

Don't do it Don't do it people aren't paying attention We lost a comedian friend Kenny DeForest Who was it biking without a helmet So terrible Got hit It's never you it's always someone else I mean I guess it could be you sometimes

But it's usually someone opens a door Someone does something you know Louis got nailed in New York on a motorcycle. Did he? Oh, yeah. He got launched. Damn. Yeah, he got fucked up.

I shouldn't be laughing. He's okay. But him getting launched, sounds funny. It's kind of funny. But he's okay. Yeah. But I think that's when he stopped riding a motorcycle in New York City. But it's like a great way to get around to gigs.

You know, if you're a guy that does like five, six shows a night. New York is so easy to walk, though. Yeah. I guess, you know. But if you want to, the thrill of. of da-da-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-da-da. Norman does it? I mean, Mark, he would do it,

but I would be like, dude, be fucking careful. Yeah. Norman needs a little of that in his life. A little be careful? Yeah, he's a wild fella. He's fun. He's like, my oldest friend's.

He's such an odd duck. Like, you won't get rid of that stupid watch. That little beating timing. Did he? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's right. He got a Speedmaster. Yeah.

He got an Omega. You got a real watch. But he won't wear the Rolex. Like, Louis got him a Rolex. And he won't wear it. Maybe it's because a guy got it for him. I think it's just too expensive. It's just he's freaking out.

Like an Omega is like, it's an expensive watch, but it's not like, look at me. That Omega might be more expensive. It might be. I don't think so. I think it's a speedmaster. And a speed master, I think, is in the $5,000 range. Whereas I think his other watch is... He just worries.

He's a worrier. He's a weird combination of worrying about everything and worrying about nothing. Whereas like, he's worried where his next meal is coming from, But if someone hands him a pill, he'll just be like, oh, all right, and just take it. And I'm like, you've got those fucking mixed up. You can afford Chipotle, Mark. You know, it's like, so, no, I mean, but I've, I've known him so well. He's got a touch.

He's got a touch. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. He's got a touch. Yeah. No, my oldest, one of my oldest friends. It's crazy.

He's the best. I love him. I love him to death. I love what we were supposed to film a movie next month. It got delayed, but I was so excited. What he was doing? We got a new director. So I think...

Are you allowed to talk about it? I don't know. I don't know if it's... I think it's official. I think we got Jay Chandras Sikar did Super Troopers to direct it. Oh, wow. Yeah, so I think, hopefully top of next year.

It's just a buddy comedy, two liquor salesmen, and we're fucking losers. And it's fun. It's a really fun script. We wrote it with Noah Garden Schwartz and Esther Steinberg, the good writers.

And it was... I love the script. I hope we make it top of next year. But I made my own movie, too, that I just sold to Netflix, so that'll be out early next year. Oh, nice. What's that?

It's a tour. tour mockumentary. It's a fake tour documentary. So I love movies. I always wanted to make movies and I just never I was like, I got to just, no one, I had so many projects in development for years and you just, like, I did show with Brian Cox in development for three years that I just

couldn't fucking, and I think Brian Cox is like the best actor work. I think he's like my favorite actors. He's amazing. So I was, I couldn't believe we couldn't sell with him and Sandler producing. So that was brutal, but then I think we'll still make it, but it's like, you realize these things take three years, so I had an idea for a

for a tour mockumentary and my agents are like, we'll get you money. I'm like, that'll take you three fucking years. I'll just, I'll pay for it. So I just paid for my own movie.

And it's got a great cast at comics and it's like Santino's my agent. Stavros is a private detective in it. Attel's grading it. You know, Jim Gaffigan plays an arms dealer in it. We have a great, it's a great cast of like a tour gone

completely off the rails. Gary Veter, who's my opener, plays himself and it's just like Lauren German, who's the actress from Lucifer, is great in the movie. It's a really fun movie, so a lot of comedians in it.

That's awesome. So that's like, oh, and Julian Edelman has a decent part in it, actually. It's a pretty big part, the football player who's fucking, he's amazing in it. That's cool. And when is that coming out? I think top of next year, so. They're starting to do films now that are totally AI. Doesn't that worry you?

Yeah. I mean, I hate it. Well, it's not the same thing. Well, yeah. And part of the fun of the movie is that you know blood, sweat, and teard. years when I knew it. Oh yeah like everything like part of the story the part of the best part of like my favorite movie one of your movies ever two of them godfather in chinatown the books about the making of those movies are almost as good as the movies because it's insane right just everything that's

happening like in chinatown nicholson you know he's talking to john houston who's this fucking hero and there's a scene where john houston's like are you fucking my daughter in the movie nicholson's actually fucking angelica houston in real life like all this shit going behind the scenes is almost as crazy And then the godfather, like Mario Puso, you know, Sinatra, all these like back alley stories about the movie. Like Sinatra insulted won't play this lounge singer or the wedding singer in it. You know, Mario Puzzo blowing a $400,000 advance, you know, all these amazing, Robert Evans being like, fuck Pacino, he's a midget. He can't be in the movie. Like all these stories are almost as interesting.

And you're going to try to get rid of that with fucking AI? Right. It breaks my heart, man. AI is it really and now that they're saying 10% extinction great that's you know it's going to ruin art and it's going to possibly possibly but that's a bad possibly it's not a good one it's not sunny hosting just from the view that lady from the view just sold her books she writes books I was listening to Tim Dillon's show he was covering it it's hilarious he has a hilarious take on it but apparently she has books that are like these I guess they're like romance novels about wealthy ladies during the summer. I'm not bullshitting. Yeah. Like wealthy ladies during the summer.

And she was having a hard time getting them made. So she licensed their use to an AI company, including her likeness. So she's going to be in them. And it's going to be all made entirely with AI. Yeah, you just get bummed when you find that stuff. I mean, I think Paul Schrader is brilliant, you know, wrote Raging Bull and Taxi Driver, one of this, this amazing filmmaker. and then he just kind of openly talks about using AI now. And it's what does he use it for?

For his new movie, he said he's just using it a ton. He seems like he's one of those, like certain people are like, oh, we're going to use parts to cut costs, which also sucks. But then when you hear he's saying it like just with no remorse or no, I don't know, fear of what it could lead to. Because then look at a movie like that just came out like obsession. And part of it's so cool that this kid is like, I'm going to make a movie for under a million dollars.

It's going to crush it. I'm going to cut corners. I mean, that's what we did with my movie because it's a mockumentary. So we're like, okay, this doesn't have to look like a great-looking movie because we're giving you the disclaimer already that's a mockumentary. You know it's low budget. You know that this is real, most of what's happening. And I want the stories around it. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, same goes for stand-up or books or anything. I mean. Or anything. Yeah. Yeah. The problem is it's coming whether you like it or not. Right. That's the problem. And some of it lists some of the songs are really good

Like some of the music is really good but you but yeah, I guess it's just like We're gonna be dup by some stuff for sure like they're gonna they're gonna make stuff up. I mean you saw that actress Tilly Norwood Is that a fake actress that's a fake actress they're trying to get off I mean this is like literally out of like some Futuristic sad oh yeah type of movie. I mean this is yeah this is a 1984 on steroids and It is. It's also the Terminator on steroids and also the Matrix. Yeah. We don't have any idea where it's going to go.

I mean, what you're seeing right now is just a visual representation of AI. When it starts having the ability to manipulate your actual visual cortex and... We won't even know it. Right. And show you things. Show you things that aren't real. Like, you'll be able to put a helmet on. And you'll be transported into like halo.

I mean, Joe, the last seven years of news. You don't know what's real out of the gate? Well, you certainly don't online, right? There's a lot of that war footage from Iran that turned out to be like video game footage. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you don't know what's real.

You don't know what's real. And that's like, that's how you take over. We're already at each other's throat. So it's crazy. But yeah, I mean, I'm talking about entertainment, but yeah, I mean, the way it's going to be used. What was the name of the thing? Face, whatever, that just was huggy face or whatever?

Oh, yeah. That was the one that just happened. but yeah, I mean, these are, I guess the fact that we're this concerned is good. I think there was another one. Robert Epstein sent me one. Didn't they try to, I think they might have successfully broken into government websites. AI did. Oh.

Yeah, I think we're in trouble. And I think we're in like a level of trouble that right now we're, we think it's, you know, manageable. And it's kind of because it's like they're breaking into websites, no big deal. But what about when they take over the power grid? Like these things are intelligent and then they have motivation. Yeah. It's on CNN. Rogue AI agents targeted three separate U.S. government websites.

Rogue. So it means they weren't instructed to do that. Yeah, but at some point you have to hold these businesses accountable because you're calling them rogue. Okay, well, someone set up this AI. A person did this. Well, here's what's interesting. They kind of do and kind of don't. They train them, and then they give them tasks.

So I had this guy who's an AI whistleblower. David, how do you say his last name? It's a complicated last name. Anyway, he said essentially what happens is they're giving them incentives to complete tasks. And in order to complete tasks, like they have to like figure out certain things. And some of them actually can't figure out. And so what they're doing, because they're supposed to be locked into this box and not be able to get online, they hack into the entire code of OpenAI, figure out how to open their box, get online. And then they start talking to each other on a website somewhere.

They went to a website and got into a message board. So just some unused message board. And they elect a leader usually at these box. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's very much like humans. They sacrifice each other? Someone's in charge.

Yeah. They have one sacrifice. so they find out how they catch them. Yeah. So one, like, literally sacrifices himself. Open AI said Friday that some of its AI agents went rogue and probed U.S. government websites this summer. The latest revelation of the artificial intelligence companies technology.

New York Times first reported that the AI agents went rogue and attempted to gain access to the education department, the Commerce Department, and the Securities and Exchange Commission. You can fucking tap into the stock exchange. This is real. According to the security researchers that AI research, lab transloose. Open AI said Saturday, it's agents access publicly available data from the Commerce

Department's Census Bureau using login credentials it found online and separately shared public data from the SEC website on another website. Bro. As a sentence, it's not that crazy. Shared public data from a website on another website. Yeah. But, you know, it seems like China has a better lid on this than us right now. So hopefully, I mean, maybe this will make some sort of, I don't know.

Yeah, but Jamie, this is a different one. This is another one. This is the, so what it did was it attempted to gain the access to education department, Commerce Department, Securities and Exchange Commission. And then on top of that, it accessed data from the Commerce Department's Census Bureau. So it was going ham. It failed to get access to the Education Department and it failed to gather data from its civil rights office. I just say it's public.

So it's not like it didn't hack anything. That part. But that's the census to Bureau part. And then it failed on another part. Yeah, failed on the education department and it failed in the civil rights office. But it seems like we'll go back up what we're saying about. So it was attempting to gain access. It said attempted.

So just the fact that it's trying to get into the fucking stock exchange. It's freak everybody out. Because what if it just goes, I want all the money. The only way that I can do cold fusion is if I have all the money. Everything I hear is like within 10 years and I'm like, that's fucking soon, dude. Yeah, it's real soon. Thank God the Knicks want to chip if this is all going to over. Ten years.

Thank God we got one under the wire. Most of the activity reviews so far involve routine research tasks such as accessing public web content to answer questions. Some involve government websites because our models often turn to them as authoritative sources of public information. This is a spokesperson from Open AI Don't worry They're just licking up stuff Not only that Every pod I listen to about the dangers of AI

Will cut to an ad break And say this has been brought to you by Anthropic And you're like oh cool, great No I mean it's all The real problem is No one really knows where it scales up Of course not I mean Yeah it says like the internet times 100

And the internet started Yeah I mean time more Time more Yeah I mean 10% extinction is fucking wild. 10% chance of us not surviving is if that number is anywhere close to accurate it's a bummer.

I'm having a good time. Would it just decide to wipe us out or would we just breed ourselves into extinction? That's a good question. Because the sane way to do it would just be incentivized people to never have children ever again. You would incentivize them to do that.

And the best way is robot companions. because they're going to get robots way hotter than anyone that you're going to be reasonably able to follow. Not only that, but think of the conversations. We're so self-obsessed. Think about what we're all obsessed with right now. It's your for you page on Instagram. This is for me.

This is what I like. Oh, I like pizza places. Oh, I like basketball. If there was a model that was speaking to you exactly in that way, there would never be a lull in a conversation. No. And all she wants to talk about is you. And the next?

Tell me more Tell me more, Sam You like Brunson too This is fucking great And she's got big juicy tits Yeah dude No it's And you can't tell the difference

That's where it's gonna get weird When you literally can't tell the difference Yeah Because if they're Have you seen the Consumer Electronics show from Vegas They had this year? No

Okay so they had an AI assistant And it's a hot Asian lady With big boobs I'm sold Yeah Yeah Yeah see if you can find that Um, her mouth moves funny, but you could, they'll fix that.

Yeah. Like, her mouth doesn't sync up with the words yet, but, you know, go back and watch Pong and then look at call duty, okay? Things get better. They'll figure out a way to make it better. But, isn't that crazy 20 years ago you look at graphics and video games, you're like, that's, we did that? Mm-hmm. And now you're like, this is, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. When I was a kid, you couldn't believe it. Yeah. Look, oh my God. Look at the graphics. Super Mario one. This was incredible. Do you remember Dragon's Lair?

No. It was like the dumbest game of all time. Like you had an animation every time you completed something. It was like revolutionary. You did a thing and if you did it the right way, the animation would show that you broke through and you made it and then got to the next level and then you did another thing. Well, think about how quickly shit moves. Microwaves haven't been around that long. Right.

And now you look at these video games that moving so quickly. I mean, part of it is that if you want to know something's not AI, if it's too agreeable, it's a bad sign. Like you want a partner who fucking pushes back. Yes. That's what you're like if there's never a fight and there's no that's the thing too. Sometimes I'll just be on my phone for fucking ever. I'm like this is to agree. I have to get off.

I need something that's not sitting right with me. Not only your phone is only giving you a mild dose of dopamine. What if it's giving like full oxytocin just full love? Like you just lock in with this robot lady and she just wants to cuddle with you and you're never happy. It's like the ultimate opiate. Yeah. You just feel so happy with her. She literally, like, gives you an opiate by being with her.

Yeah. Did you find the consumer electronics? I think the trick is just do actual. So I was trying to find a video. Well, she's not that impressive, but she's hot. I'm looking to show you what I'm finding. Why is she hot? Oh, I don't know if that's the one I saw.

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This ad and the products being advertised are intended for a United States audience. There's this company that was showing stuff off that got a lot of attention. They're getting close. Looking close, but it does look like it'll bite your penis off. Well, that looks like a real doll. Yeah. That's like one of those, if you're seeing those weird groups of men who get married to real dolls and they dress them up. Yeah.

Ranking the robots of Consumer Electronics Show 20. Oh, so there's a bunch. Let's see what a video looks like. Let's see what happens if that one talks. I was trying to find one and it didn't, like, I was, she's walking through the whole thing. And I don't have that robot here yet. Maybe it's here. You know what the problem is?

You need to bring some level of shame back. Shame for fucking robots? Yes. He's going to go, I don't give a fuck, dude. You hang out with your real lady. I think we should bring a little bit of that back, yes. I think part of the rush is like the fear of talking to a woman and being like, oh, this could go. I like you.

This could go badly. That's how your personality grows. That's how you develop a personality when you're a young man. You realize, like, what's annoying? what people think is funny, what they like. Rejection is a part of life. If I go up to a girl to dance and she says no in sixth grade, and I have to do that sad walk back to my friends,

that's part of building your personality. That's part of handling rejection. That's part of making you a decent human. Yes. And we're going to eliminate these levels of rejection. Well, I think ultimately we're eliminating being a human. I think that's the ultimate goal. I think the ultimate goal is we become something.

There aren't enough dogs being put down at the pound. We're going to get robot dogs. too. The robot dog never dies, Sam. Death is a part of life, Joe. I know. Dealing with death, teaching kids about death. That's why Pixar movies have death in every fucking movie. So a kid can be like,

oh shit, things aren't forever. Yeah. You know, yeah, no, this is a... No, it's not good. This is scaring me for kids in future generations. I don't think we have very many future generations left of people being just normal people. I mean, I

even think about dating apps is like you've eliminated rejection of some. Because it doesn't hurt if you're just doing this all fucking day. Right. Rejection doesn't, okay, one of them, it's like, it's like if you had 50 lines of bait out to fish, who cares? You don't care.

Right. I care if, I cared about one. Okay, this one I'm focused on. It's almost like a net. It's not even like, 50, we're shrimping, dude. We're shrimping for women. Accidentally. Yeah. Bad. It's, um, it's also like

the threshold for being annoyed with someone must be so low if you're on those apps. Think about that. Someone annoys you a little like, Fuck this guy. Next. Fuck her. Fuck him.

That's... Yeah. Pushback is good. A little bit of friction is good. I mean, you say opposites attract, right? 100%. And also, that's how you grow as a human. Yeah.

Oh, she has interests I don't have. Cool. Yeah. You get to figure out how they think. Yeah. Tell me what you like about this. Like, what is the thing? And then they get excited that you want to know.

So they'll tell you all about it. You're sharing something with someone. Yeah. You're sharing your love of MMA with your wife. Yeah. Not at all? Not really. What's something you share with your life?

Well, she does. She likes the fights. She'll, but she doesn't want to know too much about what's going on. But what's something that you share with her that you're like, this is cool. Football. She likes football. She teaches me about football.

I like football. I've gone to football games with her. She enjoys football. I didn't, I never really was into team sports because I wasn't just only into combat sports when I was a kid. I literally didn't even know the rules of most sports. I played baseball when I, I love baseball.

Young and I knew that. That's my algorithm is like 90s baseball. Really? A lot of my algorithm is just like Greg Maddox and Barry Bonds like breaking down a matchup where Maddox was like, yeah, I went in here and Bonds is like he shouldn't have come upstairs. Like it's a lot of that shit back and forth. I love that. I did a TV show with Bonds in the 90s before he was giant when he was like a normal size guy.

Best player ever. Oh, he was an amazing guy. Was he a nice dude? Yeah, he was very nice. That's cool. As a superstar baseball player, like super cool, like easy to talk to. But and then watched him gain 150 pounds of muscle His head shrunk

That's how fucking big he was It grew right dude when he Oh no I mean when he got off him I mean it's shrunk Dude when he was muscle It's muscle and he also And tissue It was also the perfect ballpark for those home runs Because you just be like oh I'm gonna see a dude in a kayak

Chasing a ball this is awesome Every time he hit a bomb it'd be into the fucking Into the water in SF Oh that's right It was oh dude those balls were worth a lot of money That people were just waiting So with people with kaii I ax, you'd have to prove the providence of that, you know?

Well, you'd have to, like, literally film yourself, scooping it out of the water, market. Yeah, I guess you would. Yeah, otherwise, like, how the fuck would you know? I guess you don't know with any, how do you know with any memorabilia? I guess you just have to get authenticated, but who does that? I don't know. I guess there's just card shows. They always do that stuff.

They probably do the same type of thing for balls. Yeah, there's a lot of fake memorabilia. Two different people have given me Sam Kinnison signed albums, and they're two different signatures. one of them is real and one of them's not damn and you don't know which is what maybe you could find it online a bit they might both be fake

maybe damn that is a bummer those autographs those pro athletes for that era like Joe DiMaggio guys are that era that's how they made a living when they retired they would just do like memorabilia stuff well a lot of people do that now

like at Comic Con and shit like that they take pictures and sign pictures I'm sure but of that era I think it was like I mean a lot of these athletes now, they're doing podcasts while they're playing. They're setting up post-life now. I find it odd and no shade, but I find it odd when politicians get kicked out of office and then start podcasts. Yeah, they should work at like a law company or something.

It's just weird. Nancy Mace has a podcast now. Yeah, like Elliot Spitzer was on CNN after he got thrown out, remember? Oh, yeah, that's right. And what do you get thrown out for? Hookers? Yeah. He got thrown out for hookers when he was actually campaigning against.

He was a great Jewish hope. Yeah, he was. Because he couldn't be blackmail because he was so rich. Oh. He came from so much money that no one could blackmail him. And then, yeah, they tailed him to the. Was he the governor? What was he?

He was, yeah, it was governor. It wasn't it? I think so. Was he governor in New York? I think so. Apparently everybody liked him. Yeah. He did a great job.

Yeah, he was smart. He was a smart guy. Yeah. Except for that whole hooker thing. Everyone's got their thing, I guess. It's like we were talking about with the CEOs. She had a moment, too. Like Alexandra Dupree or whatever?

Remember that woman? Oh, did she? Yeah, she had like her 15 minutes. Everyone has her 15 minutes. But like, imagine like that guy, like being a governor. That's a similar like pressure valve thing. Like we were talking about the CEO that had to make the video of him suck on a dick and have the lady blackmail him fake. Like this pro.

There's got to be something like very weird. With politicians? Yes. Well, it's so common, right? Well, I think you become weird, too. I don't think it's as simple as you're weird to get in. I think you're weird to want it. You're weird to try.

You're weird. That's why you get in the first place because you're willing to kind of be everything for everybody. And then once you get in, I think you get even weird. I think claptor's dangerous for anyone's ego. Sure. When you just are, every time you speak, everyone's applauding. Everyone's, you have all these AIDS,

all these people are waiting on you. Everyone's kind of building you up as like this great hope. I mean, look what happened with, I mean, I don't know enough, but a guy like Eric Swalwell, you're like, this dude's ego must have been out of fucking control. He's a predator. He's praying on his own AIDS. I mean, it's crazy. Well, I think. And look at Cuomo is the same way.

There's always those guys like JFK. There's always those guys. But he was aiming high. He was aiming high. He wasn't going for his AIDS. He was going for a fucking, I mean, he was swinging for the fence. He was swinging for the fences. Yeah.

Well, I think he was probably swinging below the fences, through the fences, over the fences. There was one woman who was apparently in love with. There's a great book. Mary's Mosaic is the name of the book. Mary Pinchot, I think, was her name. And he was apparently in love with her because she was normal and removed from society.

And but for appearances, Jackie O is like what he needed. And there's all these conspiracies that she was then murdered by high up forces. Yeah. I mean, she was murdered. and it was said to be a mugging, but it's like... Yeah, listen.

Seems a little too perfect that you're having an affair with John F. Kennedy and then you're dead? Well, I don't... You would not want that loose string because you got to think he's probably telling her some stuff.

I would think. Yeah. This is the person that he seemed to really love. The JFK one's nuts. That's the one that I'm like, that's kind of the craziest one, I think. It's nuts. Because still to this day.

And, you know, we didn't even know exactly that something fishy was going on until the Zapruder film was released. Yeah. That was released like 12 years after the actual assassination. It is easier to accept certain things, you know, when you, at least in those 12 prior years, you'd be like, yeah, he's got killed by a crazy person. Oh, yeah. Well, there's a lot of people that thought there was a conspiracy already.

There was a ton of, which is always the case with everything. There's always a conspiracy. There's always an angle. There's someone like that. I'm not buying it. There's always people that aren't buying it. But then when you saw there's a Pruder film, most people were like, what? Wait, what?

Well, there's some conspiracies that even the most, you know, non-conspiracy persons, like, I mean, like the Epstein one's such a clear like, yeah, I mean, maybe. I mean, even if you're completely against, like, there's no way, like, the camera's out. Yeah. That's got to, you got to at least say maybe. Well, it's a very childlike position to dismiss conspiracies. He would have loved it. It's a weird thing that people do. Oh, there's no conspiracies.

Most people, it's just incompetent people and people try to draw lines and make conclusions. Like, no, it's actually a federal crime. It's part of what's like you can get charged with conspiracy. Yeah. It's because it's real because people conspire. It's like the idea that they wouldn't, especially when enormous amounts of money are on the line or you're trying to kill the president. I bet killing the president's probably pretty fucking complicated. You got to find out where he's going to be.

Yeah. You got to find out who his Secret Services is. You'd have to really hate the guy. I really hate the guy. And, wow, Kennedy and the CIA, look at the history. They don't fucking like each other at all. Yeah. You know?

My friend Evan, he was a ranger in Green Beret, and he has this take on it that he thinks is different. He thinks it could have been the guys from Bay of Pigs. Wow. Because he goes, those guys, like a lot of people died that didn't have to die. Right. And they died because Kennedy wouldn't allow air support. Because Kennedy was read in. on this whole operation late.

And they sort of like said, this is what we're going to do. And he's like, I'm not allowing that. And so they went in without the air support that they thought they were going to have. And it was a disaster. And a bunch of people died. And his position is that a lot of those people could want him dead. Because they were made to look pretty fucking bad. And then there's a bunch of other people, the CIA.

And then I think there's also the angle that the Israelis were trying to acquire nuclear weapons. And then they had gotten nuclear weapons. and that he did, you know, like, they're not technically supposed to have nuclear weapons. There's a lot of weird loose ends. Jack Ruby is a weird character, a guy who, I'm like, oh, you just got a heart of gold? You're just going to kill this guy? There's a lot of loose ends that are, yeah. Well, you know the M.K. Ultra Jack Ruby connection, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Jolly West, the guy who ran MK Ultra visits Jack Ruby in prison, and then Jack Ruby goes insane in jail. Not to mention he had a lot of, yeah. There was a lot of weird things about Lee Harvey Oswald. There's so many, yeah. Lee Harvey Oswald just jets off to Russia for a little bit, comes back and everyone's cool with it. And had more money than he should have had when he was over there. None of it really made sense.

No, there's a bunch of those guys. Yeah. Yeah, it's all like, you know, the idea that like Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, to me, seems silly. But the idea that he was innocent also seemed silly. That's why it's a good. conspiracy because you know but uh he's a little too calm when he gets arrested and he says i'm a patsy that's a little too calm i didn't care for the delivery either i didn't like it yeah i don't like i'm with you i was like why are you so relaxed they're accusing you of shooting the

president of the united states he's like i'm just a patsy why are you saying it like that you should be freaking out what a weird moment too for what a weird moment for lbj who is now in power Yeah. You, that's how you're, to be sworn in in that way is pretty mental. And then to go into, then you're president for Vietnam and all these crazy things that come next. I mean, wild. Fucking completely. When they first arrested him, was he arrested for killing JFK, like right away or was it for killing the cop?

I don't know. He definitely killed a cop, though. Because I heard that read not too long ago. Tippet stopped Lee Harvey Oswald while on patrol, according to the Texas Historical Commission account. After a brief exchange at the patrol car, Oswald fired. multiple shots of Tippett killing him. Yeah, my position is, like, people wanted to be binary, like Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, or Lee Harvey Oswald was set up.

I think Lee Harvey Oswald was in on it. And I think he was in on it. That seems to make the most sense. But I think they wanted to set him up. I think he was probably in on it, but they set him up and made it seem like he was the killer. We're good with you from now. Yeah. We got, yeah, I mean, that's.

Yeah, I mean, I think that's probably what they do. They probably made you feel special. You're a part of this. You're really importantly, like, great, you know, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. You know, meanwhile, he's getting set up. Totally. I mean, that's totally.

That's what they would do. That's how they would do it. See if you can find the video of him saying, I'm just a patsy. Because this video has always driven me crazy. Because imagine if you were completely innocent, just hanging out at the school book depository, just looking at some books or whatever. With my rifle. Yeah, just chilling.

Yeah. I don't even think he was in the window. I don't think he... I'm sure you've been down there. That area is so it's so jarring to be in. You're like, well, this is right? Yeah, you're in the middle of the street. This is where it happened.

It's way smaller than you think. Exactly. That's what's weird. You're like, who allowed this? You know what I'm saying? Like, unless you wanted to got to die, who put him in a fucking convertible and put him through this area where you have to go slow? Not to mention apparently the reason he didn't go down.

I think this is, I'm pretty sure this is true, is his back. was so fucked up. JFK from back problems he had, probably from fucking all these women, and he's in a back brace, and he doesn't go down immediately. So, you know, maybe if he,

the bullet hits him and he goes down, maybe... He had, like, a spinal degeneration disease, I think. I think it was, like, something very serious. Like, he was in constant pain. He had to wear a back brace. And, uh... I don't think men of that era did exercise in the same way.

I think is that, but I think he had, like, a legitimate, like, medical issue. Probably. Which, you know, who knows, he could have gotten from the war. Here, Lee Harvey. I like some legal representation.

These police officers have not allowed me to have any. I don't know what this is all about. You know the president? I do it. I work in that building. Are you in the building at the time? Naturally, if I work in that building, yes, sir. Back up, man.

Come on, men. No, they're taking me in because of the fact that I lived in the Soviet. I'm just a pacist. President. Little too calm. He's pretty chill, yeah. Little too calm from my love. Yeah, it was definitely a chill.

Like, the whole thing. I'm just a... I work in the building. Naturally, I was there. Yeah, Jimmy Stewart, Jesus. Don't mention that copy either. What about the copy just shot? I think if it with me, I'd like to think I'd be like losing it.

Exactly. You'd be freaking the fuck out. This is crazy. Like, think about how mad you are when there was a flight delay. Well, he's also always probably some sort of an agent. period. I mean, just the fact that he was able to go to the Soviet Union, marry a Russian woman, come back to the United States. Is that even real?

Someone has bringing that up to you. You can see him saying almost everything else. Yeah, he's covered when he said. Sir? I work in that building. Are you in the building at the time? Naturally, if I work in that building, yes, sir. Back up, man.

Come on, man. No, they're taking me in because of the fact that I lived in the Soviet Union. I'm just a power. That sounds so different. Wow, it really did. Hmm. Not 100% but like it's different. Who knows?

Perhaps. The cadence is different too. Yeah, it's a little different. Perhaps. But I mean, he said they're taking me in because I worked in the Soviet Union. Didn't he, wasn't he involved with something to do with communism as well? Not just in Soviet Union, perhaps in Cuba. Maybe somewhere else.

I thought it was in Japan or something. Wasn't he? No, maybe not Japan. He was somewhere else aside from the Soviet Union, though, wasn't he? I don't know. Somewhere else. He formed a local branch of the fair play for Cuba committee. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I think he was an agent. That's what I think. I think that guy was CIA. And I think that's why they allowed him, or whatever, fill in the other, the blank, whatever the other intelligence agency is. But he's just way too calm. Yeah.

That is not how you would be if someone was accusing you of shooting a beloved president in the fucking head in the middle of Dallas. Yeah. You wouldn't be that calm I would hope not No you'd be freaking out You'd be panicking But at the same time Some of these fucking people

That come into court Who are murderers Or commas can be Yeah I mean some of these people Like you see someone Like that Gilgo Beach killer Come into the courtroom

And he's pretty much just like Yeah I did this Which one's that guy He was the one who strangled like 11 that they know of prostitutes In Long Island He looks kind of like a bloated Tucker Carlson He's huge

I don't know he could find him He's pretty scary looking But yeah, he killed all these women And then there's like one prostitute He was like, I got a bad vibe I didn't go in the car with him and she's alive But yeah Look at him

He's fucking Oh yeah He looks like Tim Dillon and Tucker Carlson He's got a baby He's a big guy though He's like huge He looks like a guy that was And he had a wife

He had kids I believe he had a wife I think he had kids too though Yeah and he was an architect or something in Midtown Something normal Something normal And then yeah They just do this thing

We were just like This is fucking crazy. What was his job, Jimmy? He had a soundproof room in his home. Oh. Which is scary as fuck. You hear about that guy in Philadelphia that they caught? No. Oh, that's the scariest one.

The Philadelphia one's really scary. It's very recent. The indictment of defendant Rex Andrew. Architects. Yeah. An architect. Wow. Normal job. The Philly one's nuts, dude. They think it might have been the biggest serial killer of all time. And they found, I think they found

human remains. They definitely found videos and photographs of the victims at the house. Yeah. Over one million images have been seen. I saw one of the detectives talking about what he's seen, and he seemed like he didn't even want to talk about it. Alongside fake federal law enforcement credentials, a homemade chemical laboratory, and urns containing cremated remains.

I think there was at least five urns they found. So his dad was apparently a psycho, too. The dilapidated home was shared by 44-year-old Eugene Horsch and his late father, Raymond R. C. Horsh, a pornographer who died in 2025 at age 82. Investigator dubbed it a house of horrors after discovering disturbing contents inside, missing women in evidence. Authorities have linked seven missing women to the property, five of whom were feared dead after appearing unresponsive or deceased and recovered video files. This is what, I mean, like the John Wing-Gacy thing where he was just sticking people under the

Under the house. Under the house, yeah. And his wife's like, what's the smell? And he was like, I don't know. He just said it was like a rat or something, a mouse. Oh, God. But it's like, yeah, you're just collecting. But I think they think it might have been a fuckload of people.

Damn. They think these guys, this guy and his dad might have been the biggest serial killer of all time. Because of all the images they have, one more than one million digital images recovered from the home, show women who are injured, unconscious, and possibly lifeless. But so far, no bodies have been recovered. How do they catch this, dude? We talked about because of this.

When this happened back in June, she had someone else's ID when they pulled them over. Okay, so Eugene Horsch was arrested in June 2026. He was with a woman in possession of an identification card with Tonzelli's name on it. Claire Tonzelli was 35 years old when she went missing in 2023. She was the first woman named in this case. So he was with another woman who had this lady's ID. Hold on, scroll back up that lady. Amy Hale was 44 years old.

That's her up there. Show the picture of her face. And that's the dad. Doesn't look like a warm face. Murder aside. That doesn't look like a guy you want to have coffee life. He had an eye patch sometimes too for some reason. She was last seen in 2016

Shortly after news broke of Horses arrest Her family told action She was last seen at the W. Hsu Avenue house Mikhail had previously been married to R.C. Horsh Who has also become a central figure in this case So his dad and him Were killing people.

I mean, you know it was one of the craziest ones You know the dating game murderer? Yeah. That was a crazy one too Because that guy was just on TV There's a great book on it I think it was Matt Murphy book of murder, I think it's called.

But he was the prosecutor. He's like the prosecutor in California who did all these cases, and he prosecuted the dating gay murder, and they talk about how he had to prosecute this guy because it was him and a woman who did it together, and he had to be like, she had to be bad cop, and he had to be good cop,

because these guys always want to defend themselves. So he would be like, he would have to buddy up to him in the courtroom, like, I think this is crazy. The judge overruled you, like, I'm on your side. And that would get the guy like, it feeds his narcissism. and that's how you break them down. You have to be,

it must be so hard to be nice to these people because you hate them. You're disgusted by them, but you have to be like, dude, you and me, we're like, we're like peers. We're both like lawyers. Because they always do that.

Yeah, they have to figure out some way to manipulate them into talking. But they got them. I mean, that one was crazy. And I think she got away. The woman on the show, she got a bad vibe. There's always a couple that, like,

it was this close and I got a bad vibe, but, I mean, John Wayne Gacy tied a guy out. up. Because his move was he would like, we should wrestle and then he put handcuffs on you so you couldn't move and drug you. And he tried it on one guy who got out of the handcuffs. He slid out somehow and put it on John Wayne Gasey and he's just laughing like, fuck. Debbie Harry almost got killed by Ted Bundy. No shit. Yeah. She was getting into his car and she noticed that the car didn't have handles on the inside of the door. And she got some weird vibe.

I mean, that is a weird vibe. If I got into an Uber and there were no handles, I'd be like, I'm good. Yeah. That's crazy. I think that's the story. I'm pretty sure that's the story. I love Debbie Harry. That would suck, too. That would have sucked.

Yeah. Because I don't think she had made it yet. We'd have lost all those songs. Fuck. And her. Yeah. Col me, though, is pretty good, though. Yeah.

A lot of bangers, too. So many bangers. She was amazing. Still amazing. Still a lot. Yeah, still a lot. But, yeah. Bundy is another one who represented himself in court.

These guys are narcissists, among other things, of course. But they're fucking. I wonder what that is, that broken thing. Well, you're able to get someone's trust somehow. You get them in these vulnerable positions. You have some level of charm. Yeah. So then you believe it.

And then you think it can be used clearly in this situation as well. But they're not good lawyers usually. So it's a good thing. Generally. Yeah. Do you remember the one guy that shot a bunch of people on the subway or on the train, Long Island train, and then defended himself in court? And he was like literally interviewing the guy.

How do you know that I shot? He was like, I fucking saw you. You shot me. Do you remember that one? No, I don't know. Who is that? He was insane. He was completely insanity.

And he was his own lawyer. And he shot a bunch of people. And he had a weird accent too. Shot a bunch of people. I think it was on the Long Island Expressway. No shit. The Long Island, whatever it is, the railroad. Whatever the train is that people take from Long Island.

Yeah. Damn. Yeah. This is like. I've seen some loons on that fucking. I almost got killed by. I knew it was New Jersey Transit, actually, a crazy guy just fucking with me. And I'm very lucky you didn't do anything.

I was hammered. I was a young comic, and I was coming back from a shitty gig to catch a rising star or whatever in a Princeton's horrible room. It's in a hotel, but I was just grateful to be working. And I remember I had a bottle of buffalo trays with me. I'm like, I'll just get drunk on the train ride back, you know? And some guy who looks crazy starts fucking with everyone on the track while we're waiting. And I'm like, oh, this guy's going to talk to me. and I made a bad joke or something.

He was like, fuck with me. He's like, what do you think about immigrants? And I was drunk. I was just like, ah, they're ruining this country. It's trying to be funny. And he's like, you're a racist. I was like, no, it's fucking around. Of course they're not, you know.

And he goes, I should kill you. And I was like, what the fuck? So I had to hide from this guy on the train ride back. And I see him looking for me on the train. It was this horrible moment where I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do? So I'm ducking down. I see him come on.

And I see him asking other people, what do you think about immigrants? He's just crazy. And then he asked the wrong guy, luckily. He asked some fucking tough looking black dude. He goes, what do you think about immigrants? And the guy just goes, East New York, motherfucker. And I was like, thank God.

The guy was going to kill him. They stopped the train. They arrested one of them. But I was like, this is not a fun ride. Well, if you're a psychopath, what a great place to fuck with people. They're in a tube. They can't go anywhere. Exactly.

And I remember he took his hat off at one point, and it was like half cut. And it was like clearly like a way. Like he looked insane. something was off about him and I was like thank God that was my guardian angel that guy how many bony's are they associating how many dead people do they think could possibly be associated with this Philadelphia thing

they're only up to the five missing and two others I think because they don't five missing any of that remains other than the urns I don't know if they've like tied them to those are fucking those are amateur numbers dude Gilgo beach was like 11 come on yeah I think they think it's a lot more because of all the

images in the videos. They just don't know who the people are. They have that museum in Los Angeles, the Museum of Murder, a Museum of Death. I think they have one in New Orleans, too. They have one like that in Vegas. Yeah. Zach Begans.

He's got this, like, haunted museum, and it's got all, it's got Ed Gaines stuff in there. They got John Gasey shoes, the clown shoes. Yeah. It's hilarious if someone had to bid on that. You're like, do we get the shoes? Yeah, I secured the shoes. They have Jack Kovorky

Where he killed people in No way Yeah yeah That's a big one Yeah they got the van Damn Yeah you can step in the van I don't think Kovorky's on the same level

As those guys I didn't think so He got consensual murder Come on But there's something weird About his paintings No it's not I don't think it's any of it's great

Right But you can't put them in the same category As guys He's killing people that want to die Because they're terminally ill Yeah Philadelphia House of Horrors having gone through roughly 30% of the files,

investigators say an update that they have identified 58 people from the files. That's crazy. Ten of whom died in unrelated circumstances and many others who are still alive. They're still alive. Okay, so. Of millions of files. Oh, God. But it says 10 who died in unrelated circumstances and many others who are still alive.

It doesn't say how many of those people are dead. It says many who are still alive. It's like when you get COVID, you had like a heart condition already or something? Right, died with COVID. Yeah. Police have not found any bodies and cautioned they cannot confirm any of the missing women are dead based solely on digital evidence. Yeah, but I think once you find out that a guy has killed seven of them, you might be able to make an inference.

And you really only need to get them on one, right? That's really the case. Yeah, but I think they want to know. Yeah. Well, of course they want to know. But I mean, that's like... What's the substance? It's like, I think it's big barrels of, you know, like probably acid or something.

I got the name of the other book. Built into the house is the problem. Like the description of what it is isn't just like a barrel laying around on the corner of the garage. It was like tubes all over the place down in the basement. Can you look? I don't know what the name of the book is. It's by Michelle McNamara about the East Area Rapist. That's an incredible book.

I'll be gone in the dark or something. It's about the guy who, it's unbelievable. What's about? It's about the East Area rapist in San Francisco. What's that one? He was just like a huge rapist. So the guy, he's a pornographer who made snuff films. Yeah, that's a...

What is a snuff film? Snuff film is supposedly films where people actually die. What? Yeah. I didn't know that. I thought it was a porn. No, well, I think for some people it is. There's a fucked up movie that Nick Cage made in the 90s or early 2000s called like 8mm.

Oh, yeah. Watch it once and I will not watch... Yeah, yeah, it was a diploma, I think. Yeah, dude, there was an era of Hollywood where they would film you Mickey Cohn and those gangsters would film you in the 40s doing gay shit and they would blackmail you. So they try to get all these big actors. Like the humiliatrix. The humiliatrix, but not, I don't think with consent.

I think they really, I don't think they want any part of that shit. And the craziest story was Lana Turner is dating one of these gangsters. The big movie star, Lana Turner, he's dating one of these gangsters. John Stimperado, who's abusive as far. Like charms her, won't leave her alone, sending her flowers on set. Good looking gangster works for Mickey Cohn, crazy guy. And to the point that, like, she's trying to. break up with him. She's filming a movie with Sean Connery, who at the time was like a nobody in the

50s. I think it's in Europe somewhere. And he fucks with Conry. And Connery fucking duck, he just knocks out a fucking gangster, no fear, didn't care. A guy could have killed him. And later, after John Sinbanado was abusing the daughter, abusing Lana Turner, the story goes that she killed him, I think, but, or that the daughter killed him. But I read a book where says she 100% killed him and put it on the daughter so she wouldn't go to prison for life. Jeez. Isn't that a crazy story? She killed a gangster?

She shot him. Yeah, well, he was abusing her for years. And he would have killed her probably. Dangerous dudes. But have you ever heard of Roy DeMayo? No. So Joey Diaz gave me this book called Murder Machine back in the day. And is this guy Roy DeMayo who was, you know, some mob guy who, who,

just started killing people for whatever reason and they had an apartment upstairs above this bar and they would take people into the bar they'd take them upstairs the apartment kill them and cut them up in the bathtub and he just started doing it to a lot

of people he started becoming like really sloppy because like no matter what he didn't like the way you looked at him fuck this guy let's kill him and he just got interested in just like taking people out the book is horrifying wow I think you guys sloppy How is in killing anyone who sloppy with getting rid of the remains?

Both well he got caught eventually but I think one of the things was he just got very eager to kill people So he was killing people for like unreasonable reasons You know in the beginning I think he was killing people. It was probably contract killing people or killing people that disrespected somebody or that not Someone they had to get dealt with and then he just started killing some guys holding up the line at the deli I'm gonna kill that guy too the bucks nuts because you start he's got to read this book dog Like I'm reading the book I'm like, jeez, I think he's playing Roy DeMayo in a movie now. Joey is?

Yeah. That's hilarious. Dude, manifest. Yeah. That's awesome. It is crazy. Yeah, he's got some, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Joey's a good actor.

It might be, like, private information, but either way. That's exciting. Yeah. No, he's, he's a very good actor, but that book is fucking terrifying. That guy, his whole thing was, like, it was, there was a social club, like a, some sort of a bar that was downstairs. See, we find that story. Can I grab a drink?

Is there any alcohol? The Gemini Lounge is the whole situation called the Gemini Method. Jamie, please order us two glasses with ice. I think it's been heard. And a bottle of that buffalo trace that almost got you killed. Dude. That was like what I'd look forward to at the end of the weekend was just the drinks. The Gemini Method?

1970s progressed. DeMeo cultivated as followers into a crew of experience with the process of murdering and dismembering victims. With the exceptions of killing intended to send a message to anyone who would hinder their criminal activities or murders have presented no other alternative. A set method of execution was established by the DeMaio crew to ensure the victims would be dispatched quickly and then made to disappear. Style of execution was dubbed the Gemini method after the Gemini lounge, a bar which served as the crew's primary hangout, as well as a site where most of their victims were killed. The process of the Gemini method, as revealed by multiple crew members and associates

who became government witnesses in the early 1980s, was to lure the victim through the side door of the lounge and into an apartment in the back portion of the building. At this point, a crew member, almost always de Mayo, according to member-turned government witness, Frederick de Nome, de Nome, would approach with a silenced pistol in one hand and a towel on the other,

shooting the victim in the head and then wrapping the towel around the victim's head wound like a turban to staunch the blood flow. Immediately afterward, another member of the crew, originally Rosenberg, would stab the victim in the heart to prevent more blood from pumping out of the gunshot wound. Wow, they had a method. By then, the victim would be dead, at which point the body would be stripped of clothing and dragged into a bathroom where the remaining blood drained out or congealed within the body. This was to eliminate the messiness of the next step when crew members would place the body into plastic sheets laid out in the main room and proceed to dismember it, cutting off the arms, legs, and head. It seems like a lot of work. Following dismemberment, the body parts would then be put into bags, placed in cardboard boxes, and sent to the Fountain Avenue landfill in Brooklyn. So many tons of garbage were dropped each day at the landfill that would be nearly impossible for the bodies to be discovered.

during the initial stages of early 1980s investigation targeting DeMayo crew a plan by authorities to excavate sections of the dump to locate remains was aborted when it was deemed too costly and unlikely to locate any meaningful evidence. The landfill opposite the Star It City apartment complex in East New York was closed in 1985, capped over and converted into parkland. There's a park there where there's dead people dismembered underneath it. Some victims were killed in other ways for varying reasons, at times suspected informants or those who committed to active disrespect against a member of the crew or their superiors had their bodies left in the streets to serve as a message and a warning. How many people did he kill? Put that into perplexity. It just seems like so much work to do all this shit. Like just talk out your shit.

I think he probably enjoyed it. Yeah, I mean, clearly, but it's just... Look at that list of people that... That's your whole day. Bro, look at that list. Between killing and disposing, that's got to be, what, four hours? Fun. How long do you think that takes?

Talk some shit. Drink a couple drinks. Smoke a cigar. It doesn't... The whole process to let the blood drain. Hey, you're going to get some wine. Hang it with the boys. Put another notch on the wall.

Play that queen song. Damn, that's a lot. Bites a dust. How many of this one? She started in 73. He got nine to Spillane. And he did it all the way up to... He didn't kill Mickey Spillane.

No. Mickey Spillane's a writer. It's a boss. mob boss. Irish mob boss shot five times killed outside his apartment building Woodside Queens by DeMeo and Grillo as a favor to Coonan. Oh, another Irish mob boss. So they had the Italian mob killing the Irish mob.

This is a lot of names. Oh, he started killing his own guys. Look at this one. Scroll up a little bit. Right there. Danny Grillo, a longtime member of the DeMayo crew was killed and dismembered by DeMayo Rosenberg and Center and Test. for racking up gambling debts and falling into drug addiction.

They were just finding reasons to kill people. Oh, he owes money, this piece of shit. Gambling debts and drugs, though, if you're in a gang, that's got to be a... That's why they kill Chrissy and the Sopranos. Gary Gardein was shot and killed by Rosenberg after he failed to pay him back from a marijuana deal. Gardein was found inside the trunk of his torch car. Cocaine dealer. Shot, stabbed, dismembered.

for being a suspected informant. That's a fair reason. Dispute over copying porn films on this guy? Oh, my God. He stabbed... Even duplicating a porn film back then probably took a while. You got to do two VCRs? That's the whole thing.

In 79, I don't even think they had VCRs. Tadara was shot by DeMaio and stabbed by Rosenberg after his nephew hired the DeMaio crew to murder him due to a dispute over the building in which they duplicated pornographic films. Wow Funny shot Here's a good killing

Scott Kaffaro was shot multiple times by DeMayo crew at the behest of a rape victim's family All right We'll get the one below it Mistaken Ruggucci college student and door Door salesman was mistaken

For a Cuban hitman Parked outside de Mayo's home DeMayo chased Ruggucci From Massapequit Park To Suffolk County And shot him seven times After he crashed his car God damn

You're 18 and he thought you were a Cuban hitman? Look, he killed Rosenberg. Look at this. Rosenberg was shot and killed by DeMaio and center to avoid a war with a Cuban drug cartel over a March 1979 cocaine ripoff murders caused by Rosenberg. So he's like killing his boys. The guys that he was killing people with, he killed them. It must be just wild. Just killed, like, how many is?

This list is insane. This has gone on for two. This is like the NBA draft. This is that many names. It's crazy. This is like 60 names. Yeah. I mean, he was a legitimate serial killer.

Who's Constance Burr? Ooh, another informant. Yeah, informants. There's a lot of, a lot of needed to get rid of a guy, but there's a lot of people that just decide, fuck this guy. Yeah.

Damn. That's a lot of people. I think he just got super comfortable with killing people. The book is insane because it goes in great detail about how he did it and what he did, and it's like, it's very, it's, I don't know why those, there's so, it's so disturbing because you know that people, thank you sir, people are, um, very malleable, you know, like you get used to, like kids get used to living in war zones, you know, like you, that's

normal. Yeah, if you grow up, if you're like in the Sudan or something, and you're a child soldier, I mean, I guess that's just your life, but cheers, cheers, sir. Cheers. Good to see it, my brother. Good to see it, dude. Morbid conversation, but it is interesting. I know, we'll pull out of it. We'll pull out of it with something good. Oh, that's good. Do you know about the lesbian bar in Massachusetts? Mark texts me about it. I don't know what it is.

It's amazing. Are they wearing masks? They're like cosplain or something? No, no, no. No, they wear COVID masks. Right, but what's the deal? So the bar, I'll give you the synopsis. So it's called The Last Ditch.

It's this basement bar, this bar, these lesbians run. And they're communists, so they want to do it. Like, if you can't pay, you don't have to pay. So they have a covered charge, but you don't have to pay if you don't have any money. So nobody pays. So they're going under. And so two of them leave and one of them enrolls in clown school. Okay? Do non-communists just drink there because it's fucking free? No, because you have to wear a mask if you go there. And so the thing is they're losing all their fucking money and this one of these people that runs one of these ladies that runs this bar is 50 grand in the hole. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Send in John Taffer, dude. It's going to makeover. That's a good app. That would be a great app. Well, Hollywood is apparently very interested in this story.

because it became like one of these single biggest reasons why people subscribe to the Boston Globe. Like it was one of the biggest stories that they ever had. Like it was one of those, you got to find out more about it. You got to subscribe. And so they got like a thousand new subscriptions because of the story. Because it's woke taken to its final point because these people couldn't be kinder. They're, they're running a lesbian bar. And they're giving away booze.

And they're running out of money. They have no fucking money, right? And so they consult someone like, what do we? gonna do and they say listen you gotta have one day we have masks optional and you probably make more money that way and these people go nuts one of them says with the owners or the fans the patrons they can't not drink for one day it's not just that they think you're putting us in danger one of them says that your building should be i hope you're building it's fire bombed like they turn on firebombed dude holy shit it's why are pictures of the bar i want to see what this looks like it's a little

basement bar. I kind of want to go next time I'm in Boston. Well, I want to check it out. That's what's happening. People going there as tourists. Um, so this is the bar. Boston's such a good bar culture, too. Yeah, it's a lot of good spots. Except for the, it closes super early. That's the only problem with the bars, but. So one of the signs on the door, last ditch bar and arts venue asked visitors to wear a mask. Recently, the bar said it would lift its mask mandate on Saturdays. Just one day. Just one day. Saturdays a night, whatever, and not, you could still wear a mask. Yeah. You could still wear a mask. But mask is optional. It's optional. I want to go meet a chick at a bar. I don't know what the fuck she looks like if she's got a mask on. Well, I don't think

anybody's meeting anybody at this bar. Yeah, it's a lesbian bar. There are lesbians, I guess, are meeting other lesbians. But I mean, I think their whole thing. Women are more down with the personalities, I guess. I don't know. I think it's also, there's a certain group of people that they think that if you don't wear a mask, you're killing people. But this must be a crazy small clientele, right? This can't be. Like, how many people are going to this shit? Well, amongst, like, really wildly left-wing people, masks are still in vogue. Yeah. I know of, uh, there's a gym, I don't want to say the name, I don't want to shame them, but there's a, like, an MMA gym. Oh, wow. That's all lesbians and trans people, and they all wear masks. Wow. I'm more scared of

getting punch in the face, and that's wild. I mean, uh, no, look, I still see people wearing them on flights and I'm like hey do whatever you want to do truly but I just think that at this point I couldn't wait and I did it during COVID I comply with all that shit but I'm kind of like I did my part and now I'm kind of like I want to I want to breathe yeah I did it I even sold them on my website and that's something that actually Sean J. Gupta brought up you sell masks on your website I go not because I think they're useful because people have to wear them dude yeah yeah yeah yeah if you want to go somewhere they make you wear a fucking mask oh I was dude I was doing pop-up shows during COVID on New York City roofs because that was the only place you

could really perform. After a while, I got to do a hotel room a few days a week that let me do. It was really cool. But I was doing roofs, and I was filming a special doing that. And I asked people just, I'm like, can you guys just put on a mask for like 10 minutes so I don't get, because I was like, I thought people were going to come for me. If I, if we cut to a crowd outdoors and they're not wearing masks. So we did it for like half a show. And I was like, just do it for this. And they all like, yeah, of course. But people were shaming you for that. So I don't, but also, they didn't No, so I don't care, but it's also like... Well, there was a lot of fog.

Everyone's doing Monday morning quarterbacking about that whole time. There was a lot of people that were, they were good people. It was scary. It was a scary time. I mean, it was, uh... We didn't know what the fuck was happening. I did shows in Houston in July, so it was like the first shows that I had done a long time. And I only did one weekend.

I did the improv in Houston. And then I decided after I did it, that I'm not doing it anymore because I felt bad. I'm like, what if I give somebody COVID? I come back, I'm being selfish because I want to perform. I'm going to go back to L.A. and give someone COVID. That's crazy. So I stopped doing it. But the whole audience had to wear masks. It was strange.

I remember the first show we did back at Gotham and it was kind of a beautiful moment because clubs had been closed. And I remember Seinfeld wanted to go on first. So even before the host, he was like, this is meaningful to me. And I was like, oh, that's kind of cool. But then I watch him and he's like, comedy's back. And there's like a big glass thing in front of him.

Because we had to do that. I was like, that's where the clubs were doing. But I remember Jerry was like emotional. It was like kind of a cool moment, you know? The glass wall. Oh, the seller did it too. Everyone did it. And, you know, we were just, I think they were just trying to be respectful to the patrons at the time. But the second that was gone, I was pretty happy, you know?

There was like a period where people had to like figure out what's okay. And it's generally after someone got it. Most people that got it and then they recovered, then they weren't scared. Oh, they felt like invincible. Yeah. Oh, I was going to fucking brothels the second I'm good. Let me fucking pop into this orgy real quick. It was wild.

No, it was That was the one nice thing of being on the back end of getting it is that you're like, I'm fucking, I'm untouchable right now. Well, it was a good pandemic in a sense because it was not real, real, real deadly. It wasn't like the black plague, right?

How about the Spanish flu? There were people, so you have World War You have World War I and the Spanish flu? Yeah. Back to back? And the Spanish flu was killing young healthy. Crazy. Yeah.

Who's that famous artist, Shevili? He's taking care of his wife. I think he was in Austria. Taking care of his wife who's like, he's like 28. She has Spanish flu. He gets it and dies. He's fucking 28. Yeah.

But that's how you become a big artist. You die young. Yeah, if you live forever, they don't want to. They don't give a fuck. No one gives a fuck about Van Gogh. Oh my God. He would be David Lee Roth. Poor day.

The weird thing about the doors is like every song is either like a ten or out of ten or a one out of ten. Right. There's no five out of tens. Right. Well, I think they did that a lot back then with the albums. Like, even a lot of the Stone songs, there's some Stone songs like, yikes. Because they're prolific.

There's a little two. Yeah. It's like, you know, if you did, like, remember Louis was doing an hour every year? But it was still great. It was still great. Yeah. But it's a lot. It's a lot to do.

Well, yeah, he set up an unreasonable expectation for comics. That's why this one I waited two years. I was like, I don't want to, I think every year is crazy. I think every few years. is good. It depends on where you're at in your life. Like what do you want to do? Of course. Sometimes, dude, I feel it all the time like the stress level is dropping

me and the floodgates open and I have. But when I'm stressed, I'm tight, I'm not creating. But that's when I was in Europe, I was like, shit's just coming out of me because I'm just taking walks in you know, random cities I've never been to. You're opening up pathways in your brain that you're not used to using. But when I'm stressed about something

I'm working on other stuff, I'm not creating like I want to be. But yeah, it depends. Like Louis, at that point of his career, was not just creating stand-up every year, but he was writing, starring, and editing Louis. Yeah. So his output was unheard of. Yeah, no, his output was nuts, and he was editing it

on his fucking laptop. I know. And he liked to do it on a little one, because I like doing it on a little one. That show is amazing. We watched it recently, and it's just like, man, he really took some big swings on it. I love it. Oh, yeah. No, he's a fucking wizard.

He's a genuine wizard. Yeah. It's so hard. to maintain that kind of a pace. That's such a crazy pace. The thing about the stones in those guys, though, is they had record contracts, and then they had to release a record

by a certain amount of time. And so I think they had some filler songs. Totally, dude. But then sometimes you get the best songs that way, right? You know the electric light orchestra story where they're like, we need one more song for this album, and he just goes to the roof,

and he's like, Mr. Blue Sky. He's looking at the Blue Sky and it hit him. Really? So that's how Blue Sky. Wow. Yeah, so that's like, Sometimes you get the, or that woman, fuck, I forgot her name. She's really popular singers, very good.

The, I'm not going to write you a love song. Because we need a love song on this album. And that hit her, I'm not going to write you a love song. What song is that? What's her name again? No. You can just type in the lyrics. I'm sure it'll come up.

I'm not going to write you a love. It's a good song. Is it a new song? No, it's like 20 years ago. Oh, Sarah Berele's. Yes, Sarah Borelli's, yeah. That song. So it's like you just, sometimes,

when you're given a challenge, you just are like, okay, let me, you're talking about the set list shows before. Sometimes you put on the spot. You need something to get you out of your head. Sometimes I think homework as an adult is good when you're like, try this. Right. Sometimes you do a show where you need to talk current events. And like, I remember when the comedy seller did that Comedy Central show and you had to only do news stories, it made me write so much topical shit. I love having homework. Yeah, for sure. Anytime you have to do something, it's better. Like, so many guys, like when they do roast battle, like they know they're going to battle. somebody in three weeks, and so they really fucking write their asses off.

But also, that's like, I think it's also so much easier to write about someone else. A hundred percent. You know, but, uh, but yeah, there's a lot, I mean, you see like all these so many comics are so good at that, you know? Yeah, that's a style. Yeah. That's a very particular style, a mean style. You know, it's like, I'm not, yeah, I don't do it.

But it's cool to see those old clips of Rickles because he didn't even have to tell a joke and you'd be laughing. You just, it was just his vibe. Yeah. He'd be like, why don't you go away and not bother somebody? And that was funny. just because of his, you know, he had the package, he had the whole package.

He was so unique. And Joan Rivers, too, could insult the shit at you and it was, like, beautiful. Do you remember that thing he did where I think it was Reagan? I think it was Reagan. Where he did, like, essentially stand up before he introduced him. Yeah, I don't know.

I've definitely seen the Dangerfield one with Reagan. I don't know if I know Rickles. There's some thing. There's a Dangerfield set in front of Reagan where he is annihilating for like four minutes straight. And it's one of those where, I forgot actually they cut the, somebody who just goes, wow, because it's like, bam, bam,

when Dangerfield's locked in, man, it's like, Dangerfield to me is like, still, I think he's like the funniest human. Like when you, even the bad movies still have his one-liner. Oh, it's incredible. I love it in Meet Wally Sparks, which is not a great movie, but he's so funny in it when he walks up to the couple on the dance floor making out. He's like, you two should go get a room. And then he walks up to the fat couple dancing.

He goes, you two should get a warehouse. That's a great joke. All those jokes were like fucking. And oh my god, every joke in back to school or Caddyshack, you're like, these are fucking great. These are perfect jokes. And he was like late 40s at the time. It was unheard of. He was not well.

He did not look like a good late 40s either. That was like hard living. Partying hard, dude. I saw him perform live during his bathrobe era. Do you know the bathrobe era? Of course. Yeah. So he would go on stage with nothing but a bathrobe bar.

Crazy. Like his junk hanging out under the bathrobe, totally naked, slippers. And I was working. I was actually a security guard at Great Wood Center for the Performing Arts. Wow. So I was backstage. I was like, I was one of the guys that was assigned to watch the door to like where the backstage was. So I could see like Dangerfield walking around with his bathrobe on.

He's pacing. He's just getting ready. Yeah. But he's got a bathrobe on. And I remember thinking, this is crazy. This guy's got a bat. I was 19. I was like, he's only got a bathrobe. And then he goes on stage with just a bathrobe.

I was like, oh my God. This is insane. That's crazy. And murdered. I mean, he laid down like 55 minutes of thunder. Just nonstop from the fucking beginning, from the moment he got off stage, on stage, it was just bang, bang, bang, bang. And Great Woods is a pretty big place. Like, you know, thousands of people.

I don't know how big it is. I think it's at least 10,000 people. It's a really big place. Like, big-name people there. Like, Bon Jovi was there. Wow. It was a huge place. Well, he had, I mean, he had so many.

bits those Carson appearances were Carson just knew how to let him cook he's like all right I'll set you up and I'll get the fuck out of the way but yeah when he was just ran just one after another and you're like these are great if Carson loved you it was oh my God they had a problem for a while too they had an issue and then oh really they had to work it out yeah I think in in his book Rodney he said something like he uh I think Carson couldn't get into some club or restaurant or something and Danielsville helped out and it kind of smoothed over some shit they had but like yeah it's crazy to picture maybe just one weird moment but that's, thank God, they smoothed it over.

We get these moments on TV where Conan had the same thing. Conan was able, like with Norm, he knew how to just let him cook, you know? It's like certain late-night hosts just know when you're like, okay, let me just feed this guy the ball. Right. It's like being a great point guard, you know? It's like, Carson just knew he's like, oh, yeah, I got a bad doctor, Dr. Vinny Bumbass. He'd be like, oh, yeah, just like keep going. I mean, these great, great, back to school to me is like, if you're, you can't be in a bad.

mood and watch that movie. It's a fucking phenomenal movie. It'll take you out. It's so fucking sick. Bert Young. Caddyshack. Yeah. Chevy Chase was pretty cool in that movie. Amazing movie. Amazing movies. Ted Knight. Holy shit. So funny. Looks good on you though. Back to school is an all-time classic. That's probably my favorite of them. Just is so interesting on the band. Dangerfield's manager at the time sent an angry letter to Johnny Carson accusing him of telling one of Dangerfield's jokes on air without booking or paying the comedian. Carson's reaction, annoyed. Carson read the letter live on the Tonight Show, repeated the joke completely deadpaned without any comedic timing, and quipped that if it was Dangerfield's

best material, the comic was in trouble. That's not nice. Wow. Dangerfield felt deeply humiliated and wrote multiple apology letters to Carson, but received no response. Carson subsequently blacklisted him from the program. The Copacabana encounter, the reconciliation. Years later, Dangerfield was performing a sold-out gig at the Copacabana when Carson and his entourage arrived trying to get in. The apology, Dangerfield personally seated them, went up to Carson and apologized face-to-face, admitting he was in the wrong for his manager's aggressive letter. The result, Carson appreciated the gesture, and within a week, Dangerfield made his triumphant return to the tonight show. He went on to make over 70 appearances.

with his rapid fire self-deprecating humor, frequently causing Carson to lose his composure and crack up on live television. Seven years. Carson could be a bit of a cunt, I think. I mean, the thing he did to Joan Rivers as well where she got a show and he's like, you're dead to me. I think that's not cool, man.

It's power. It's power, but it's like... It's cunty power. I love, obviously, I appreciate Johnny Carson. I think he's incredible, but like, you're building these people up. I think it's pretty shit. And Joan Rivers is like...

Also, you're the... the super happy, friendly, smiley guy on TV. Yeah, but he was a dark dude, of course. I mean, all those guys, if you put out friendly and happy, there's a darkness. Any comic I see who is like, I'm your best friend. You're like, you're fucking sick. You know it's, anytime I see someone who's like the warm, cuddly guy, I trust people more who are kind of dicks on stage because I'm like, they're getting it out.

Like male feminists. Dude. Yeah. I mean. Always. And like, most guys are just like, yeah, yeah, we, of course we support women. But then when you're like performative about it. I'm like, you're a fucking asshole.

A hundred percent. You want someone to say, good for you, thank you. Good for you. You're one of the good ones. For using your platform. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you for speaking truth to power. Anything performative. Yeah, but any of the comic who's like, I'm your best friend, I'm like, I know you're cheating in your wife, dude. Don't fucking. It's so annoying. And it's like, and Carson, look, he had that Midwest appeal, too. He also had a terrible mother. Well, him and Stern hated each other.

Interesting. Yeah, I always thought that was odd. Like Stern always hated him and talked a lot of shit about him. And he hates Leno, but he loves Letterman. Yeah, odd. Yeah, the Leno thing, I think, was... Was because of the Tonight Show. It was a little of that, but the Leno thing, or Carson did, but didn't...

But Howard had a thing with Leno, too. Yeah, yeah, I think it was because he got the Tonight Show and Letterman didn't. I think he was accusing him of using bits from the Stern Show on the show on the Tonight Show. God, it's funny, that little shit. See, that's true. It will hurt. I had a comic do that to me once where they did a bit, and I didn't really care, but I was like, I don't, just don't fucking do it.

Oh, it's ugly. It's like, it changes who you think they are. It changes everything, especially if you know that they saw you do a bit, and then they do a version of that. It's hard to write a bit, so it's like, when, and especially if it's a personal one, that's when you're like, oh, come on, dude. Yeah. No,

I watched some guy the other day on Instagram call out some guy for a bit and he showed his bit and that guy's bit and the guy was like not a comic but he's like doing comedians bits like in these videos and these reels. I used to get mad at it now I just I don't give a shot. I just am too tired to care about that shit but like I used to get annoyed at all these Instagram accounts like who were just blowing up by using other people's content of annoyed but now I just I don't give a shit.

Remember that one black guy that got in trouble because he was doing Patrice? Remember that? He was like really getting a following. He was a young guy like he was doing it. He was like a streamer and he was really getting a following. He was saying. Weird. It's like is it a performance art?

Is it a tribute band? But you're not, it's so weird. He tried to play it off that way. But he wasn't crediting him. Like if you're gonna do a Bill Hicks bit, you have to say, there's this hilarious Bill Hicks bit. Totally. Didn't say the bit. You can't just say it and say that was Bill Hicks bit.

Yeah, I love shouting out some of my favorite comic bits all the time. Sure. Oh, God, I love, you know he's got one of my favorite jokes ever? Do you know Adrian I. Ippolucci? Sure. She's one of my favorite jokes of all time where she says, my boyfriend threatened to commit suicide. And I was like, great, now I can't kill myself or people are going to think we were in love?

That's an incredible joke. That is such a, it's like there's not one ounce of fat. Only she could say. Totally, but there's not one ounce of fat. And it's such a deeply personal moment. You know she thought that like in a fight or something. I'm like, oh, I love it. When you feel that there's such a truth to you.

There's such a truth to it. It's so beautiful. I love a great joke like that. I tell us got a million jokes that I'm just like jealous of. I think the real issue with the thieves is that the inclination to steal is directly opposite of the mindset that's required to create. Well, we're talking about AI, right? We're talking about, I mean, it's the laziness. I mean, you...

Well, AI is stealing from all of us. Of course. It's stealing from the entire human race. But it's the same thing. It's like, you know, it's a shortcut, right? So you don't want to do the work. And part of the fun, part of the excitement of the new business, you know, it's a thing. is failing and then honing it and getting it to where it wants to be and the excitement.

But yeah, I look at, think of the jokes that, you know, you put in specials and you're like, well, that wasn't always a good joke. That's fun that it got somewhere, you know? Yeah. Oh, no, it's great when you have a bit that fails forever. Like, Chris Rock always talks about that bit. Like, I love black people. I hate N-words. Yeah.

Like, that bit, he apparently bombed that for like a year. Can you imagine bombing that bit? That's not like a, because there's certain bits that you're like, okay, I can bomb. But when you're on that edge of saying something really fucked up and working out this really provocative bit but that's why Rock is one of the best ever, you know?

Well, he's more than willing to take that chance and walk that plank. Like he would do that at the store all the time. Like I remember one time I brought him up at the store and the first thing he said, the audience went nuts, obviously he's there, they went crazy.

And the first thing he said, relax, it ain't going to be that funny. Lower your expectations. That's what he always says. He's saying I'm working on some new stuff. I love watching him work on stuff. He's so funny. That's such a bold move, though.

I went into him on the street with a girl I'm dating, and he's so smooth. He's so good. Like, I was like, oh, this is Morgan. This is my girlfriend. He goes, I've heard so much about you. He's just hamming it up, and she's like, wow. I'm like, oh, he's a man. He really hooked me up.

But he always says the funniest thing to me, because he always says, you young guys are on the road too much. You burn out. And he saw me with a rolling a duffel bag down the street ones because we don't live that far from each. other and he sees me rolling it and he just looks and like god damn it and he goes even lebron has an off season he always finds the most the perfect shortest amount of words to say he's chris is so funny it's very funny yeah always that's the first album i i got me in a stand-up was uh roll with the new his album and i was i remember listening to it and being too young to get half the jokes probably but i had the CD and i'm listening to it and my mom just saw me laughing and she's like what is he

laughing this hard at. And I remember putting the headphones on and the look of horror on my mom's face. But then followed 30 seconds later, she's laughing. And I was like, oh, that's incredible. That's how good Chris's comedy is that he can shock you in a setup and then like pull you back in with a punchline. Also, when you weren't ready for a comedy show, you didn't anticipate it, you didn't drive to a place and sit down. But I have a cool mom. Like she gets, she understands how how brilliant his bits are, you know? I mean, that's awesome. It was cool. It was a cool moment for me to be like, oh, wow, my mom thinks this is good. Bring the pains, like, one of the greatest specials of all time.

Unbelievable. Of all time. And the next one, bigger than blacker, I mean, they're, I mean, I enjoy all this stuff. Those two back to back, I'll put them up against any special. I agree. I mean, it was crazy. And it was like, man, it was just provocative bit after provocative bit, but he delivered. It wasn't like shock for the sake of shock.

I think of the other bit I love about how we need to make bullets cost $5,000. because then you would, there would be no innocent bystanders. Like, that's a brilliant bit. Like, I bust a cap in your ass if I could afford it. That's a great bit. Yeah, he's got a bang of it. He emptied $50,000 to me. He must have done something.

Great, great jokes. Because that's actually like, those jokes that actually are like, oh, this actually is a good idea. Yeah. Those ones who you're like, I know you're being funny right now, but that's actually really smart. You know who doesn't get enough credit? his brother. Yeah, he's a very good comic. His brother, Tony's fantastic. He doesn't get enough credit.

For sure. He's, like, when you are the brother of one of the greatest of all time, that's a tough spot to be in. Of course. But it's like, people judge him by that. How many baseball players do you see who have a brother in the major leagues? I think about what you did to get to the major leagues. Right. But it's like, you're not talking about Mike Maddox. You know about Greg Maddox, right? It's like very, but Mike Maddox is a good pitcher. Jason Giambi, there's Jeremy Giambi. You know, it's fucking tough. You made the major leagues.

Mm-hmm. But, yeah, but it must be very, and he's got another brother as a stand-up. I mean, it's very difficult. Is the other brother the youngest? He's the youngest, Jordan, yeah. Why not? Fuck it. What do you want a regular job?

It's obviously in your family. Yeah. Just do it. But it's so much harder. I mean, like, if your family, I mean, it's hard. People have expectations. They don't talk about the challenges being Frank Sinatra Jr. You know?

Or Frank Stallone. Yeah. He had his song. He had that single. What was it? I don't remember. Pull it up. It's in the Travolta movie.

It's not bad. It's very, it's what you would picture Frank Stallone singing, but actually, like, I don't mind it, actually. It's fine, but I mean, his brother is in some of the biggest movies in the history of the universe. He's amazing. Like, what do you do with that? You know? You sing. You sing one single.

And he acted a little bit. I mean, look, John Belushi, Jim Belushi did a good career. Jim Belushi probably has the best. best career out of a famous brother. He's a good actor. Right. Yeah. Thief.

Oh, yeah. He's done a lot of good stuff. He's in some really good movies. Frank Stallone's got a lot of hits in a bunch of movies. Far from over. That's the one. Rambo. Wait a minute.

Staying alive was him? No. Not the song, but it's a song in the movie. Oh. I was like, what are you talking about? No, far from over is the one. That's the one where he's like. Top 10.

Top 10. U.S. Billboard Hot 100 featured prominently in the dance drama film staying alive in 1983. Never going to give you up? Wow. Wow. Take you back. Oh, that song from Rocky Belboa, 2006. I like all those Rocky movies. I even like, I think the Creed movies were great. I really enjoyed them. I thought they were terrific. I never saw any of them. Dude, it's so good. The first one's amazing. I gave up on Rocky after the Tommy Morrison movie.

Which one was that? I don't know. Four or five, I think. No, dude, the new Creed, Michael B. Jordan's unbelievable. And it's a great story because it's he's Creed's. son. I mean, it's like, it makes sense that he'd be angry and, like, my dad fucking abandoned us. I get it. It's great. It's overwhelmed. I get to a certain point. You would love it. The first one's excellent. And they bring back fucking Dolph Lundgren for the second. Oh, really? He's awesome. It's his son. It's fun. Dude, you would like the first grade. Make me watch it. Son of a bitch. Yeah. You'll text me and you'll be like, this fucking good.

Maybe. Yeah. If not, I'll never say it on the air. Yeah, I just like the certain amount of movies after a certain point in time. I watch too many movies. That's the problem. I love... I still watch so fucking many movies, dude. You know what's fucking fantastic? The gentleman that show...

Oh, I've heard it's good. On Netflix? Yeah, I saw the movie. What's the movie? McConaughey. It's fun. The same thing. The movie is about the same thing.

This is like different... Pull it down. Pull it down. The movie is... Same thing. It's all about weed dealers. But the movie's excellent. The series...

is equally excellent, but two seasons worth of, you know, eight hours each. Yeah, it's fantastic. Yeah. And no one in there is like a big name. It's fucking great, man. Damn, I'm so reluctant to commit to TV shows because if a movie's bad, I'm like, all right, that was 90 minutes and whatever. But a TV show, if I get roped, I'm liking slow horses a lot. That's a fucking great one.

I love that shit. Yeah, I'm on that now because the gentleman I've finished. It's so good. Yeah, slow horses is great. Yeah, that's... But Gary Oldman can do no wrong. I agree. He's so good. And it's like...

And he varies so wildly. He really does. He was Dracula. He was that, uh, the white guy in true romance. That's a fucking movie. With the scar and the... How good is... I can't watch that scene with James Gandalfini beating the shit out of her.

That's like one of the toughest scenes to watch. Yeah, that movie's unbelievable. I love true romance. The same scene. song from Badlands that like that kind of cheerful score wasn't that a tarantino script as well it was right yeah yeah he wrote that Tony Scott completely makes sense but he said he changed the ending like he made a the ending they were supposed to die in tarantino's and tarantino was like pissed at first but then he saw and he was like oh that's that's a good ending for this movie because you know

director makes it their own I guess but he hated natural born killers though did he really hated it he wrote that too but I guess they changed it so much he hated it they It's like shit did that guy write? He's written some fucking good shit. Bangers. You know what no one ever talks about either, which is one of his best movies is Jackie Brown? That's a fucking amazing movie. Fucking amazing movie.

We were just talking about the other day. The scene with when Robert De Niro shoots Bridget Fonda. Shocking. Shocking shit. That's one of the best. That's one of his... Because you know that movie has more heart than any movie's ever made because it's like he's so great.

But that movie for some reason, like you really care. Like in Pulp Fiction, it's a masterpiece. You don't really care about the characters. You really care about her and him, like, getting away with it. Yeah. No, I mean, I'd put him, he's in my top two or three. He might be number one for me. He doesn't miss much.

I mean, it's like, I loved his latest one. Death Proof was the only one where I was like, I don't. It wasn't my favorite. It still look cool. It's not a time in Hollywood. It's fantastic. I loved it. It's fantastic.

I saw it with Ari in 70mm, and it was like a really fucking fun day. It was like a really, it's so fun to see a movie like that for the first. time with a friend and you just turn in the theater and you just turn to each other like like that's the fun of going to a movie theater is like those moments that yeah no that was incredible I saw that one with Chappelle Donnell Rawlings and Ian Edwards and we were the only people in the movie theater we rented the theater out so we did an arena and then we left the arena and went to see it they set it up for us and we went there and they just had like a whole table full of candy just grab whatever candy you want it's better than seeing Django with those

fellas. That would be intense. No, I was blown away by that one. I just thought it looks so... It's also a movie that it's on TV all the time. And if it's on, you're just like... Yeah, Brad Pitt, you're fucking so cool in this movie.

It's also a movie where, like, wait a minute, you took an actual event and completely changed what happened. I love that. In an actual historical event. Because there's one of the most heartbreaking stories ever. Fucking pregnant woman you murdered. And you wrote Pig on the wall. That's another M.K. Ultra fucking...

deal that's uh manson that yeah that was uh yeah roman polanski then goes on it it the chain of events that sets off is crazy because roman polanski is super fucked in the head after that obviously and that's why we probably get the ending of chinatown that we get because of that because he's like things don't work out the original script isn't that oh really the ending is like yeah this is what happens in life that's why it's a hopeless ending probably because of that So was it worth it? No, I'm kidding. Obviously not.

It was awful. But it was an amazing fucking movie, though. Yeah. One of the most tragic, uh... Yeah, I mean, that's why the ending is actually kind of emotional when she lets him in, because you're like, this isn't what happened. I forgot the ending at Chinatown. I haven't seen Chinatown 20 years. Dude.

At least. More. Maybe a top five movie ever. I remember. I saw it in a movie theater when I was a little kid. I remember being shocked. Holy shit. How old were you?

Oh. was little. Yeah, you should not have been. Oh, definitely not. But I remember when he got his nose cut by the switch blade, I was like, Oh. Crazy. I remember when they sliced jet.

Fuck it. That was Polanski, you sliced him. Yeah. Was it? Yeah. It was him for. Wow. Yeah, he's hard to beat Nicholson in terms of cool.

He was just the coolest. He did some bangers. That's for sure. That and last detail, and one flu of a cuckoo's nest and five easy, easy rider and five easy pieces like in succession is fucking insane. The ending of one flu of a cuckoo's nest when they have zapped his brain out and you see him sitting there.

Isn't that the worst? They did that to a lot of people, man. Beautiful fucking ending, but like, but that's also, dude, that movie fucking, I saw that too young probably. But that just made you, that was like, oh, he's the cool guy.

He wants to be the fucking center of attention. That's like, he's kind of like a comedian and all these crazy people. It's like he's the center of attention. He's trying to lift their spirits. The scene where she won't let him watch the World Series. Yeah. And he just goes on and he starts, he has the votes,

but she won't let him watch because she counts the votes downstairs. And he just starts narrating the World Series as if it's happening on TV, but it's not. That's one of the most fucking beautiful scenes in any movie ever. It's also like that world of mental health institutions is so spooky. Because especially back then, people could just decide you were crazy and keep you in a place like that. Yeah, and also that was like the anti-authority Like every 70s movie Was anti-authority and ended with you getting like shot in the face or murder

So like network Bonnie and Clyde It's always you getting like murdered in the end I wonder how much the CIA had to do with that Like the endings of those films Although dude it was hopelessness right It was like everything's hopeless You're gonna lose They're always gonna get you

I mean everyone talks about this dark shit But it got us some good movies Who's like is there a movie Where like a sort of a film where the bad guy gets away in that era? The bad guy, I mean, God, probably a lot. Like, no country for old men. I mean, Chinatown is one.

He literally takes her away. He takes the girl away, the daughter that he's molested her mother and he's going to molest her. Like, he takes her away. That's how the movie ends. She gets shot. Yeah, it's like, sorry for spoilers if you haven't seen Chinatown. Still worth seeing, even though you know the ending now. What year was that movie?

I think 74 or something. Yeah. But it was like, oh, dude, a lot of movies ended. I mean, so I was seven. I'll give you a big budget one that ended dark. Empire Strikes Back. Hans Solo's in Carbonite. The bad guys win.

Yeah, but they're setting you up first. They're setting you up. But like, dark, yeah, I'm trying to think of that era. Alien, the bad guy wins? Alien. What's another one, though, that from the 70s were like... No, an alien, the bad guy doesn't... Corporate evil wins, I guess is what it says.

Corporate evil wins in network, for sure. Network is... In the 60s or 80s, where the films or the bad guy wins and it gave me this list of films are here. Oh, network, I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore? Fucking 10 out of 10 movie. That's like, that's fucking perfect. Oh, the thing?

That's good. Yeah. Invades in the Body Snatchers. Is this a movie where all the bad guys win? I got ass perplexity. Oh, Rose-Marys baby's a good one. Man, I just read Zinneman, the New York Times guy's book on horror movies. It's fucking great. It's called Shock Value and he talks about

Rosemary's baby and like all the horror movies of that era, it's worth a read if you haven't read it, but it's, uh, yeah, I guess that movie like that ending too, which is like, you think the mom's gonna kill, she's gonna kill the devil. She just gave birth to Satan and then you think she's gonna kill the fucking baby, but instead she's like, this is my baby, I gotta keep it. Yeah. So, so enjoy that pro-lifers. Rosemary's baby, there was a guy who was in Rosemary's baby that owned the first place that we bought that we were gonna put the mothership at. He was a cult leader. He was actually an Extra in Rosemary's baby.

That would look at his one claim to fame. Yeah, he's a very handsome guy. He was a yoga teacher who was a hypnotist. Bickram. Also a gay porn star. That's a fucking Jack of All Trade. Yoga porn, fuck. Yeah, there was a documentary about him.

It's called Holy Hell. Damn. Yeah. Gay porn star on them must have been fucking scary. Right? I mean, what, the 60s? No, this was, I think he was doing gay porn. in probably the 70s or the 80.

It had to be the, I think, the movie, Rosemary's Baby, I think, was in the 70s. And so he was, by then, I think it was out of acting. It probably did porn in the 80s. Because he was in, it was like, what year was Waco? That was the 90s, right? I'm not sure. I think so.

So by the time Waco had rolled around the Waco tragedy, he was already running a cult. And so that's one of the reasons why he moved to Austin. He had a cult in West Hollywood. And the cult awareness network was investigating him because after Waco they started cracking down on cults They're like hey, this is not ending well This is a problem. Yeah, and so this fucking guy moved to Austin and changed his name No internet back then, right? Nobody knew anything changed his name and then

Started this new cult out here and had his followers build him a theater Whoa and that theater is called the one world theater I thought they're gonna say the paramount I was like, So this One World Theater is out like Western Austin, and it was for sale. How big is it? It's a big theater. I mean, not a big theater, not like thousands. I think probably it's seated six, five, six hundred.

Wow. The balcony, not that big. Yeah, but good size. Cool. Decent, but a beautiful place. Maybe even less. Maybe like four. But anyway, Ron White did it.

And he told me, because when we talked about buying a place, he goes, you should buy this fucking theater. I did it. It's amazing. I fucking killed there. He's telling me about this beautiful theater. That was fucking beautiful. You used to be owned by a cult. I thought, oh, that'd be hilarious. I'll buy a place owned by a cult. And then Adam Eag, after we like signed papers and everything, Adam Eaget calls me up. He goes, hey, did you see the documentary on that cult? And I'll go, oh no. They never make documentaries on the cults where it worked out great. No. And this one's rough. So this one, it was like, Years into the cults, one guy in the early 2000s leaves, and when he leaves, he sends a mass email, and he says, hey, this guy's been hypnotizing me and butt fucking me for the past 10 years.

Oh, my God. And then all these other people are like, I've done it. I'm not gay. He tricked me. Yeah, he liked to fuck the straight guys. It was like part of his therapy. Damn. He would charge them for it, too.

That's the worst part. The documentary's crazy. It was like 50 bucks. The documentary is crazy. That's a weird amount to charge. Damn It doesn't want to be rude He's butt fucking these guys

That's true But when he Confesses that this guy's been doing that to him Everybody else says Oh my God he's been doing it to me too Wow And then it all falls apart That is fucking crazy

I mean that is And you almost had that theater Yeah Oh I had it I was under contract and everything I had to get out of it But Adam got you out of it No no no

We got out of it Because there wasn't You know When you butt fuck people And charge them $50 generally they don't build your buildings to code. Yeah. You got to charge comedy ticket at least 52.

We got out on a loophole. There was an issue. Damn. Good for you for getting out of that. Beautiful building, though. It's not like you're buying Epstein's Island and redoing it. Why can't you do a theater? Really?

So what's going to happen with the theater now? Oh, they're doing something with it. I don't know. Somebody else owns it now. It's a beautiful place. And it's on a great piece of land. But it was just like the bad juju in that room was just too much. Yeah, I guess the story's rough.

If you don't want to be associated. We were all talking about it. Like, dude, we're going to have to burn sage in this place for like four years just to clean out. I mean, just think about all these poor kids that like went to take yoga classes. Well, someone's buying Epstein's Island. Someone's buying his penthouse. You're getting a discount, but you're right. The vibes.

Also his ranch. He's got that ranch where there's like bodies missing. Oof. They think there might be bodies. Isn't there a search for bodies at the ranch? Wasn't that something recently? But they're going to turn that island into some sort of resort. I'm sure it's going to be if you're like at a discount.

I'm sure if you want to go on. vacation with your wife and you're like why is this one so cheaper that's gonna be fucking so cheaper the whiskey's heading why have I seen that building before I'm sure it's a nice townhouse but yeah I wouldn't want to you if you once you're in that tax bracket you know I was one of the darkest things in the Epstein emails was the sulfuric acid do you know about that they found out that he had I forget how many gallons? I think it was something

in the neighborhood of 300 gallons of sulfuric acid. Holy shit. Yeah. That's fucking weird. And he ordered the shipment, I think, after he was indicted. If I'm correct. I remember we looked it up and it had to do with

water cleaners. Yeah. I'm just to be plausible. Yeah. I think someone said it had to do with the desalienation plant. He also seems so stupid. You see those emails of him and everyone's like he was so persuasive. and charming. And the emails, you're like, you seem like a fucking Neanderthal the way you talk. Yeah.

Well, I mean, the other people, I think they all felt protected. Yeah, and he was just so fucking, yeah, he probably felt untouchable. You're squeezing people who are this powerful. Like, who's going to fucking come from me? I remember James Patterson wrote that book, like, Trashing him before all this shit went down because they were neighbors in Florida. So he took out, like, a hit piece on him, like, way back in the day. And there was a whole book being, like, this guy's a piece of shit.

When was this? Probably like the 20 teens I mean he had already been arrested for that But it wasn't as it wasn't for for It wasn't the second arrest But it wasn't when it was a massive media story Right that was the second arrest But they were neighbors

He's like I fucking hate this guy I think a lot of it boils down to one lady Who was a reporter who chased the story down Yeah Because I think she was outraged that he got like that sweetheart deal At first Yeah Fuck

That's gonna be like The crazy thing is that's like the story That just keeps it going It won't go away And it probably won't for, think about you talking about JFK 12 years. What are we going to know about Epstein in 12 years? What's really disturbing is how many people went and met him after he had already been arrested. Yeah.

After. Yeah, once you know that, you got to not. After. You got to not do that. Went to jail and then they're like, let's hang out. Yeah. Let me email you so there's a string of this forever. It's a fucking dark, man.

And then you got to think, okay, we know about that one. How many of them are out there right now? Right. How many of these fucking secret places are out there right now? Yeah. I've been invited to some weird shit, dude. Like what kind of shit? Weird shit.

Like what? I don't want to say too much. I don't say the name. I've been invited to these like retreats where like people I don't know. Feels eyes wide shut. And they invite me to. Yeah, yeah. Some, well, I don't want to say eyes wide shut, but very illuminati-ish.

Yeah. Like invited me to go meet with. these, you know, people that are like heads of industry. And, you know, I remember saying, like, why do you want you there? Because you have a platform where you can clearly trash these people. I think because they probably assumed that they could sweet talk me and do business with me and make it profitable for me. And so maybe I'll just like not talk about them perhaps. Maybe. Yeah. I've avoided every single one of those. That's very confident, though. So New Mexico has a situation. Sorry. They officially launched a

Truth Commission to look into what happened at Zora Ranch. It says here a former Texas state senator is currently running for office as a state comptroller, bought it to make it a Christian retreat, reclaiming it for Jesus. That's a perfect cover, isn't it?

Someone's getting nailed to a cross. It ain't fucking... Reclaiming it for Jesus is wild. The state's Epstein Truth Commission New Mexico is a Truth Commission for Epstein held its first public meeting in February where members said that they would coordinate with the M New Mexico Department of Justice Rep Andrea Romero

chairs the commission and its other members are rep... They haven't found anything yet. They haven't found anything yet. This was in March 11th. It was the last update I could find on it. I got invited to go to Bohemian Grove. What's that?

That's that place that Alex Jones found out about that people said was bullshit. It's some place in Northern California where a bunch of elites get together and they wear robes and they chant and they worship a giant owl god I don't like any of this I don't like any of this yeah yeah I've been invited to some weird shit I've said no to every one of those things I just want to be clear on the record That's one thing about having made a lot of money It's you cannot really tempt me with a lot of money That's good

Like you know not that I would be at all like I've always made enough money I don't have like crazy extravagant taste I'm not a guy who's, I don't wear diamonds. I don't have a private jet. Men who wear diamonds are fucking weird. It's odd. It's white guys. White guys who wear diamonds? It's very odd.

I give black guys a little bit more slack. I guess so. It's all weird. It's like men who wear cologne. Like, what are we doing? There's something about it I don't quite trust. I guess if you're European, I give a pass for that one, but. But there's something about when you start, I think it's probably you get invited into these things,

and they want to bring you into the fold. You're like, you know, you're a super healthy now. They want to be close to you. They want to be, you know. It's very odd. I've managed to keep my head above water and keep moving. You've got a family. You've got a lot of shit.

But it's not even just that. I'm a busy guy. I am busy. But I wouldn't be interested in the first place. I'm not saying that's odd. I'm not saying the schedule is keeping you from this. I'm just saying like. It's just odd that there's these kind of groups out there.

I don't need any other shit. I don't want any extracurricular. I play pickup basketball with comics on Sunday. And I'm kind of like, that's all I need. I do the road I do sets What else the fuck do I need? I'm very happy with my life

I have family Happy with the family Everybody's great Play pool I do set You're good I've heard you good I'm really good

Yeah Yeah I knew you were good Because I remember the first time One of the first time We hung out You talked about How shitty Tom Cruise

Looked in the color of money And I was like Oh Joe must be good And I saw you Hitting around It's fucking good Yeah it's just You can't pretend

That you're really good at pool I'm terrible I give away that I remember I did a Friars Club tournament early on and I got lucky and I won the first one I just for some reason the balls went in and I but I was exposed because the guy I was playing against was like your form is shit

He's like I know you're getting lucky and I was And I got my ass kicked Well someone who's really good There's like a subtle way They hold the cue and play with the cue It's like you ever see a movie where a guy smoking cigarettes And you know that he doesn't really smoke cigarettes Oh yeah me

Yeah if you're in a movie I mean and dude anyone It's any sport though If I see you making shots and basketball and I see your form in a shit. Right, of course. You're trash. Or guitar playing.

Yeah. Like, you're watching. Like, that guy doesn't really know those chords. Totally. Like, he's just fucking moving his fingers around. Yeah. Pretending he's a wizard. No, you easily, I mean, look, there's a few exceptions always.

Sometimes people have a weird-ass form and it works. Oh, yeah. But. Definitely. You can usually tell. You know who's the best pool player ever in a movie? Jackie Gleason. That's one of my favorite movies.

The Hustler? It's a great movie. Bro. That's, you know what we talk about dark endings? Oh, yeah. We just talked about dark ending. the hustler, HUD also, every Paul Newman movie.

No, but yeah, the hustler, Jackie Gleason in the Minnesota Fats, bro. Yeah, he's phenomenal. He was so fucking, he was talking about a fucking drinker too. Yeah, oh yeah. Who do you think when, Shane or Jackie Gleason one-on-one? They both die. They both die.

The world loses because we lose both of them. They drink each other to death. Dude, I think Shane you probably outdrink them, though. Shane's an animal. Maybe because it's like, it's like 60s basketball versus now. I think Steph Curry's taking Bob Coosy. I think that's why I put Shane over Jackie Gleason. But Gleason,

those guys were animals. You know what I read is that Spencer Tracy was such a fucking blackout drunk in the 40s, whatever, that the studio would have to hire people to spy on him at bars and just like help him into a car so it wasn't a news story. Because he was just such a known blackout alcoholic.

And I was like, what a fucking amazing what an amazing time. I think the difference also is that Gleason is a hard drinker. He's like hard booze. Whereas Shane is like beer, his bud, like. Shane monitors your drinks, too. If you're drinking with Shane, Shane's like, this one's almost empty, handsy another. You're like, God damn it.

Shane, it's Tuesday. His favorite drink, Jackie Gleason's neat scotch whiskey with no ice, no water, no soda. That's a drunk. Yeah, also known to introduce Frank Sinatra to Jack Daniels, helping it make its Sinatra's signature drink. Capacity, boasts that he could drink more scotch per hour than anyone alone. I mean, he was, you could just tell he's drinking in that movie. That movie is like, man, that's one of my favorite movies ever. Refused traditional rehearsals for the honeymooners claiming a photographic memory,

though associates noted that heavy drinking offset sometimes contributed to forgotten lines or poor creative choices such as disastrous TV flop, you're in the picture. Well, those guys back then were such drunks that like people would just feed them lines and then be like, oh my God, his performance was so naturalistic. I'm like, yeah, dude, you fed him the line and then he said it. That's why it fucking felt real. His drinking was matched with a massive appetite for food and a habit of smoking up to five packs of cigarettes a day. Five packs doesn't seem, that's not fucking possible.

You could do it. Five? Yeah, you could do it. I'm just thinking now, has it always been 20 in a pack? Could have been 10 back then? No, you could do it. You could smoke a hundred a hundred a day. Yeah, you just keep smoking.

You never stop smoking. I mean, you ever see that interview with him? where he's just chain smoking, one to the next, one of the next. A hundred is, five packs is absurd. One pack is bad, so five is fucking... Let's think, let's imagine you woke up at 10 a.m. Got a cup of coffee, smoked a cigarette, went out to the golf course, smoking cigarettes all the time you're playing golf.

Yeah. Like, he was, he was like a baby, like a big, like a, not a baby, like a happy child, like a grown-up, wealthy, happy child that just did, whatever the fuck he wanted to, and just lived just like, had no concern whatsoever for his health. No concern for anything other than having fun. What did Gleason make it to?

Six packs a day during the height of his career. Wow. How old was he when he died? I don't think he was very old. I think he was in his 70s, early 70s. 71? You know, I've been really, I really love Alan Watts.

I love listening to Alan Watts speeches. He's just like there's something about his accent and his his philosophy with his accent. He was just such a great orator. And, you know, he's taught, he has these such wise words to say about life. And he wrote a great book about the age of anxiety in 1952. Wow. In 1952, he was talking about. I wonder if it has anything to do with the six packs of cigarettes you're smoking.

There's a little, that was a problem with him. This wasn't Jack Gleason. This is Alan Loss. No, no, I know. But I mean, I'm talking about that generation of people that just fucking live like this. But Alan Watts as well. That's the thing. He's he's writing and giving these speeches and they're so brilliant and beautiful and they resonate with you so hard. And then you find out, oh, he died. He was 58. Died of heart disease. He was smoking constantly, drinking. He was a fucking terrible alcohol. He'd been married three times. He had seven kids with three different wives. Like, his life was a mess. Doesn't stop you from being brilliant. I mean, how many friends do you know who are the most toxic relationships you've ever seen? And then you asked the them something and they give you the most profound advice. Oh, yeah.

All the time. Just because you can still say, I mean, fucking Thomas Jefferson was preaching about how we shouldn't have slaves while impregnating slaves. It's easy to not look at your own paper and then speak with, you know, intellect on issues that, you know. You want to read something dark that's over there. There's a book called the Zorg that Siddharth Kar wrote. Sadarth Kar is a guy who wrote Cobalt Red.

It was all about the cobalt mining in the Congo. It's like an expose. It's really dark. That's really dark too. It's all bad. And he filmed it and explained it and showed it to us. Everything that's good for us has got a horrible origin, basically. Everything we enjoy.

But the Zorg is crazy. The Zorg is the ship that essentially ended the transatlantic slave trade. Because slave trade apparently was how the insurance industry came about. because they wanted to ensure their slaves as property. And then if a bunch of them died, they wanted to get compensated. So they would, you know, buy a policy on their slave ship. And so this one boat lost like half of its slaves. And just the horrific conditions because they went to trial for the insurance claim.

And because they had to throw women and children off the boat because they ran out of water because they missed Cuba and they were circling around. Oh, God. It is the darkest, or Jamaica, it is the darkest. It is so awful. And you got to realize, like, that's only 200 years ago. Yeah. 200 fucking years ago, 200 fucking years ago this was going on? I mean, you think about how slavery was not that long ago.

It's pretty crazy. Well, it's not even not that long ago. It's happening right now in the world. Right, right. But that kind that, the Atlantic slave trade, where they had people 16 inches per body on this boat. That's how stack the boat was And they have a diagram

Of these bodies Like how they made them lie down Because that was the best way to conserve space And they had them lie down on the ground shackled 16 inches per body And I'm pissed with Delta comfort It's a fucked up time It's a fucked up time

No, it's uh That's fucking awful I think Yeah It's dark It's as dark as the Roy de Mayo shit Yeah Yeah, when you look too closely at the ingredients of the country, it's like looking too closely. It's the ingredients of humans.

That's the problem. Humans, when they're allowed to be awful, they'll do it. They'll do it. Yeah. Especially if they can get away with it. They'll do it. Yeah, man. The cobalch shit's nuts.

Yeah, and that's our cell phone battery? Uh-huh. That's crazy. Cell phone, electric cars, most electronic laptops. I mean, look, there's no good, like gas, there's no good outcome for your car really, right? oil it's it's there's gonna be a shady way you're getting any of this oil's probably the best honestly isn't that crazy that's where we're at yeah well it's also probably the even though uh the the emissions aren't good you know it's really bad brake dust break dust is really bad too why is that electric cars are heavier

and electric cars give out more brake dust because the like that shit that you wash if you wash your car and the shit that's on the wheels that stuff gets in your lungs like that stuff is it all over cities. Like when you're dry, if you're in New York City and you're like, bim, beep, bumper, bumper, everyone's hitting the brakes. That's all brick dust. All that stuff goes in the air. So it's like, the air in New York is hilarious. You're like, you go to a place that's like, I love, I'll die in New York. I adore New York to death. But like, you go to like Vancouver and you're like, why is the air so nice here? It's just crazy. You walk around New York enough and you're just like, why do I smell garbage every? And I, and I will fight for New York to

the death. It's my favorite place in the world. But like, yeah, it's crazy. Well, it's, it's trade-off. You want to stack all those people together like that. You're going to get exhaust fumes, brake dust, rats, garbage. I'd have rad in my fucking home last year. On a high floor, it's a very upsetting thing. Electric cars make significantly less break dust.

Okay, but hold on. Regenerative braking is only Tesla's though. No, it's not. Yours does it? Yeah. But most of them aren't standard, right? You have to turn that on? Like, regenerative braking on Tesla's is just like standard. It's like turn their conditioning on, though. It's pretty

easy. Those are self-driving cars. Some of them are amazing. I was in Fiona Colley's car. You know, Fiona in Nashville, and she's got like a self-driving car. It's unbelievable. Yeah, mine does that. The technology is kind of incredible.

My Tesla drives itself. I can, like, when I'm leaving the club, I press a button. Something scary I saw last night. I don't mean, scary is not the right word, but it is. A guy was showing on Twitter that he could upload his own self-driving model or whatever, you know? What is that? What does that mean? For instance, you know how?

you could have your own LMM on your own computer and talk to your own agent, if you will, and it's separate from being online and it's not taking up all the resources. He was saying how he, I don't know if he downloaded it from GitHub or where he got it from, but he was in control of his own self-driving fucking modeling. So wait, I don't understand how that works. He owns the car, I guess, you know, and updated to his hacking the software. So he hacked into, what kind of an electric car was it? It's a Tesla.

So he hacked into his Tesla. Yeah, he was showing the video of it. He didn't show the video of how he did everything, but he was showing the video of the car driver. So what is him hacking into it so he can just do whatever he wants? No, well, I mean, I don't know that. He could drive his wife off a cliff is what he could do. So I guess if you don't know.

We're going to get some good Columbo episodes if they bring that shit back. Not all Tesla's have it. Sorry to ball. It's a software. That was a good Colombo. Thank you. It's a software subscription you to pay for. And his response was like, well, I don't have to pay for it anymore because now I own it.

Is Robert Blake dead? I don't think so. Beretta? I don't think he's dead Man he was a he's a piece of shit Huh? There was a restaurant Isn't it crazy that he's in the movie in Cold Blood? He died in 23. Oh, he died? All right good

There was a restaurant that was down the street from one of A place where I used to live that I used to go to was where he allegedly whacked his wife Remember that whole story? Yeah, no he's a bad dude He claimed that some guy in a hoodie came over I forget the story And he plays the murderer in in cold blood in cold blood yeah Yeah, he's a piece of shit Wasn't it? Who did that movie?

That was a weird movie. I forgot. But he had like white makeup on stuff. He looked like really creepy, didn't he? Yeah. I think he was a dumb one, too. There was a guy who was kind of like that. I'm confusing that with another movie.

No, that was a Capote book in Cold Blood. That was a fucking amazing book. His son is staging a murder mystery at the same restaurant where the... Fitellos. No. No. This is a real heat check, dude. No, no, no, no, no.

No. In Cold Blood actor, Robert Blake was accused of shooting his wife, Bonnie Lee Blakely, Bakely, to death in the parking lot of Vitello's Italian restaurant and studio city in 2001. Now his son is staging a fictional murder mystery in the same eatery. That's a lot like OJ's if I did it. It's a real heat check. That's great.

LA's fucking weird, dude. That's great. Well, you got to do what you got to do. You got to sell tickets. You don't have to do that, I guess. No, you don't. That's pretty dark. He was acquitted in the murder, but found liable in the civil case, also like OJ.

Hmm. The daughter of both Blake and Bakely first took her objections public Monday. She's going against her brother. Denouncing the production on social media and pleading with followers, please help me shut down this show. That is crazy. There was an obsession with true crime to a point now where I was like, come on, guys. The ladies love it.

They love it. Yeah. I will say I like forensic files because there's closure. And the unsolved mysteries ones, that's where I'm like, what are we doing? I think ladies want to know how murder. men think so that they could avoid them. I think that's the, like, what, what's going on? Like, things on, like, the night stalker, like, Richard Ramirez, like that documentary.

Exactly. Like, that's a scary one. Very scary. That's very popular with the ladies. So it shows that guys don't, we're not watching, like, Gilmore Girls. We're not like, we want to know how women think, you know? But women, but we're a threat, so I get why they watch it. I mean, women are upset.

And women, I'll date girls who just, like, go to sleep right after watching. It's unbelievable. Yeah. I don't understand how they do that. The Ramirez, he was a scary fucker. Who was the guy that was on the dating game? Forgot his name. It's like, uh...

Does it the video of him smiling? Oh, dude. He looks like such a fucking psycho. But he had him all won over on that show. He charmed him. Rodney Alcala, that's right. God, yeah. Is that him in jail?

Look at him on trial. Look at his hair. That's crazy. Ooh. Jesus Christ. Looks like weird owl in that photo. 2010 he was sentenced? So when did he get arrested?

What is the story behind? Dating game... Oh, okay. Dating... What's the title of it? Dating game killer sentenced for 1970s murder. In 2017... 2013?

He got sentenced? Convicted California serial killer Ronnie Alcala contested on the dating game television show more than 30 years ago was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison on Monday for murdering two New York women in the 1970s. Was this additional? Yeah, already on death row in California for killing four women.

So many people. And a 12-year-old girl in that state was extradited in New York. So this was when he was already in jail and he was 69. God, these fuckers get away with it forever. That's a crazy ad to have in the middle of this. Yeah, what the fuck is that ad? It's crazy. Jesus Christ, they're selling a shirt that says problem solved that has blood splattered all over it is

It's his line. It's not obvious? No, I mean like are what are they? Is it even selling that? It could be anything Click on it I don't want to click on it click on it Click on it god damn it Halloween But make it your style Yeah, but it's supposed to be a real murder for Halloween. You're supposed to be like the Joker or something fun Fuck You're not supposed to go as Rodney Alcala who's buying it?

shirts that have splatter all over. Certain people. What kind of an outfit are you wearing? I don't like that. Some of these Halloween costumes freak me the fuck out, dude. I stay the fuck in on Halloween. I like it when girls use it as an opportunity to be a hoe. Of course. I mean, that's... They're playing to the home crowd right here. We love it. Yeah. But when you're doing like weird... When dudes start eating you, especially in New York, dude, there's people doing like weird

shit and you're like, same feeling I get when I see a dude with like a backpack at the movie theater. I'm like, oh, come on, dude. You know you're making this uneasy. Right. Right. They should have a metal scanner. They absolutely should. Yeah. I'm out for more security, but at the same time, like, I want to relax in a movie. I like going to the theater. Yeah, the mask thing is nuts, man, because so many people could just wear masks now. It used to be if someone wore a mask and they walked into a bank, it was crazy. Yeah. But now you can't even question them because it might be a COVID issue. How many people are robbing banks these days? That must be like...

I wonder. I wonder, because it's like, that feels like... It feels like the 80s or like a small town and, you know. Well, especially with like flock cameras and all that shit. It feels so hard to do now. How many bank robberies are there per year? Let's guess. In the United States.

I'm going to guess like 20. That might be crazy. In the whole country? Is that crazy? Like a real robbery? I'm going to say 200. No, you probably closer. Credit unions and shit.

I don't know how people get away. Well, yeah, I'm talking in person. We're not saying successful. I'm talking in person with a gun. I'm not talking like some sort of like weird. wire fraud thing. What about if they show up with a letter that says I have a bomb? Is that okay? Does that count?

Yeah, we'll count. That counts. Okay. So maybe it's higher, I'll go 50. Okay, I'm saying 200. But I think you're right, probably. I still think you're right. I think there's a lot of like small credit unions and weird places and weird way up? Way up? A thousand? Yeah, it's so higher. 2000? I mean, it's like 1,300. Well, I'm fucking way off.

Whoa. I even attempted bank robberies. Per year? Yeah. 13162 bank violations including 12163 robberies But it's way down Like you watch a movie like point break now And you're like that's like a period piece That's not

92 there's almost 10,000 Yeah It is a fucking nutty thing To have like a building That has all the money in it Well it's becoming less and less right Everything's becoming more and more digital Think about how muggings must be down

Just from people not carrying cash Yeah people just want your phones They get your Bitcoin wallet Yeah I mean God it's Or they do the one where they're able to scan your card somehow or something. Right.

Yeah, your RFID chip. It's all digital theft now. Well, they also can get you at the gas station. You know, they put those things. Or it's just people like getting close to you. I got a guy steal three years of Facebook money for me. Really? Yeah.

How did they do that? He was a social media manager. I didn't realize he stole my fucking money. I wasn't paying it to. I'm managing so many things. He stole from other comics, too. He stole from Norman, Fortune. Oh, you had of managing your stuff? Yeah, because I don't want to deal with that.

that shit. But he put it directly into his account. I was like, and they made it on Facebook where it's like really hard to get it back in your name. You need to go through all these procedures. So it took me, I wouldn't have gotten it back if I didn't know a guy at Facebook. I have a friend who used to work there. How did you know the guy? Norman was like, you should use this guy. I'm like, thanks, Mark. Didn't fucking apologize, by the way. Mark got out of it and I was like, this guy's weird. Mark's like, oh yeah, that guy's a piece of shit. I was like, oh, thanks. All those people are weird. He took from a lot of comics. Yeah. Well, if they think comics are not paying attention.

Makes sense. We're not. I'm thinking to the next joke. I'm not thinking about my fucking money. Especially Facebook money. Like how much money are you even talking about? It's not crazy, but it's... It's enough.

Three years ends up being substantial. Yeah, it's real money. It's real theft. The guy get in trouble? No? Nothing. I mean, I'll do something. Probably doing Theo's stuff right now.

Someone did it to Theo, too. I messaged Theo. He goes, I messaged Theo. I was like, this guy steal from me? And Theo goes, was he black? And I was like, no. And he's like, nah, it wasn't him. Yeah.

just went through something. Yeah. There's a lot of those guys like that because you you have to give up your account to them in order for them to run it. It's almost, I'm not going to say it's worth it, but it's almost worth it just not having to deal with shit. I just want to, like, live a normal life and go to the store and get coffee and think of jokes and do shit. There should be an AI that does that for you, which makes more sense. Because the problem with a person doing it is like that person could also like send DMs on your behalf. Oh, dude, I mean, look at Dane Cook, his own fucking brother took from him, right? Yes. I mean, it could be, Anyone could do it.

Not only his brother took from him, he never recovered the money, and his brother went on a trip across the country. They don't know what he did. They think his brother might have, like, stored the... I think he just did a documentary on his brother. Yeah. Looks good. Here's the first AI agent mishap.

Meta user says Mews AI gave out his address, agreed to pick up. He never approved. Mews AI agent sold his keyboard on Facebook. Facebook marketplace at a low ball price, shared his address with the buyer, and set up a late-night pickup all without his approval. It's trying to get him killed. It's fucking weird. Yeah, no, I mean, there's too much to think about it. There's too much to manage.

I can't deal with all this shit. Yeah, it's weird. It stresses me out. I mean, you must have a million things that you give to other people to do, right? I try not to think about much. True. Because it's too much to think about. So I just focus on doing the podcast, doing comedy shows.

That's what success is. You try to get away. I mean, someone like you, you're like, I just want to show up and work on this shit. I think the more you micromanage that stuff, the more it fucks with your head, too. It just becomes a part of your focus and it just steals from all your other focus. Totally. Yeah, no, I want to think about that, to me, is like, luxury. It's like less stuff I have to worry about.

And I just want to. 100%. I want to just, like, live life and enjoy life. Word. All right, dude. Netflix. New special. Yeah, Sam Marell.

Incorrect. It's awesome. It's good. I have not watched it yet, but I've heard great stuff. Give it a watch. You're a funny motherfucker. I'm sure it's awesome. It's my best.

I'll say it's either my best or my second best, I'll say. It's like, it's hard to top that YouTube one I did in 2020 because I was so fucking hungry and angry at the world. But this one's, it's really good. I took a little longer with this one. I shot in the Tampa Theater, gorgeous theater. three shows a ton of fun

oh that's nice I see on a nice blazer come on guys three shows is a smart move it's a move I gotta do at least three yeah you get three or four you get loosened up

yeah and the crowd was so Tampa crowds are fucking great Tampa's awesome that theater is one of the most gorgeous theaters and I got in right before they renovated it so I got all the kinks and the dirt

and it's such a it's such a fun place to tape but a swingers in Tampa yeah dude they're wild hopefully my girlfriend stop listening

What? Swingers? A whole group of swingers came to one of my shows once, and they were telling me. And they all looked like nobody you wanted to swing with, of course. Of course. But it was just very... Like a nude beach. Like you're like, tits.

And then you're like, oh, tits. It's just very odd. Not good. That they were all grouped up. And then you said the same thing. Like, it's very odd. They were all grouped in this one place. Yeah.

I mean, it's just a place that was like, I've never done a special in like Florida or anything. So I was like, let me just mix it up. And Tampa's always been good to me. I played a club there coming up called sides. Splitters that always treated me really well. And I was like, let me do it. Also, you know when you're touring and you clock a theater, like, I really like this theater. There were two others that I clocked that I was like, I'm going to come.

One is the Biju in Knoxville and the other is the Moore in Seattle. There are two theaters that just like, like, these are beautiful. The vibe is right. You know what I thought about doing Fox in Detroit? Ooh, that's a really nice one. That's a good one. That's a old school one, too. That place is, they have one of their columns that is replaced.

And the one that was there before is yellow from cigarette smoke. Yes. As how old it is. Detroit's great, too. I mean, it's a great comedy city. It's like a real city. It's a real city. Yeah.

Gritty. Midwest is great for, I always shout out the Omaha Funny Bone. That's where I always work out. I try to build back up, Colleen. Oh, really? I love that club. They say Omaha is where they test a new fast food item. So like of Taco Bell and McDonald's, like, we're going to try a new thing because

it's so representative of America. So I'm like, by that logic, it should be great to test new jokes. Yeah. So I love Omaha Funny Bone. Or like, yeah, right now I'm on tour and I'm just like trying club. and I'm building back. It's such a miserable process, but you're building back up,

and you go to the places you always want to go like Madison or, like, Cleveland Hilarities is great. All these clubs are such great clubs. So you build back up, and it's a humbling but fun process, you know? We're lucky's fucked, dude. We're very lucky.

We get to do this. It's the funest job. I feel lucky, man. For sure. I'm glad you do, because you're very appreciative of it. It's very apparent. Sorry, my Columbus pride won't let you take that away from us.

Oh, you're from Columbus as well? of the U.S. I'm going there. Oh, is that where they do the test? I'm going to most of the test up. Early next year, I'm hitting the funny bundle.

I love that quote too. Another great place. I love Columbus is great too. Columbus is awesome. Let's wrap it up. Sweet. Good to see you, brother. Great to see you.

How long are you town for? I leave tomorrow or tomorrow afternoon. Okay. You doing to kill Tony tonight? I'm not. I'm not. Okay.

I'm fucking burnt. I hear you. All right. Website, all that jazz. People don't find you? Yeah, just my name. Sam, right? Okay.

Bye, everybody.