The Joe Rogan Experience - #263 - Kat Von D, Eddie Bravo

Episode Date: September 10, 2012

Joe sits down with Kat Von D and Eddie Bravo.

You didn't talk about mushrooms. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day. There's a lot of shit over at Onnit.com, Eddie Bravo. I don't have to talk about all the products. Okay, so sometimes you go, I'm not going to get into it. Yeah, sometimes I just half-ass it.

Because for a while there, dude, I was very impressed with your enthusiasm and your passion during those commercials. My enthusiasm and the passion is still there. Every time. Well, it's just based on reality. People ask me all the time, dude, is that shit for real? They ask me that all the time. I'm like, dude, Joe would not be involved in some shit that didn't work. He's only involved in shit that works.

Trust me. I take it every day. I take it in mind. If you're interested in nootropics, there's a lot of stuff that you can get on your own and just buy it in bulk, and it's way cheaper than doing this, like what we've done. But just go Google it.

It's fascinating shit. It's vitamins for your brain. It works. You don't need that, you clever woman. No. You're on top of shit already. Imagine her tattoos on it, on shroom tuck. Yeah, my friend Eddie Bravo is here with Kat Von D

because Kat Von D actually wrote on Eddie Bravo's chest. Yep. Well, I tattooed on it. Yeah. My hair is... Pull it up. I haven't shaved my chest in a long time, so it's kind of a Paul Stanley-ish.

Paul Stanley-ish. That's my grandmother. Wow. I love that tattoo. How long ago did we do that? That was three years ago. Yeah. Something love that tattoo. How long ago did we do that? That was three years ago. Yeah. Something like that.

That is what I think is the most impressive style of artwork, that reproduction of portraits. It freaks me out. Yeah. In a good way? I saw this girl last night that had her father on her arm as a child, though. And so just this little child on her arm. And I'm like has

you know anyone ever tried to like does it is it messy is it weird when people are like you know like i try to make him blink you know like as a baby and like fuck her with the face and it's like is that weird to you she goes no this guy's come down it before and i made him lick it off and i'm like what like that's just crazy like those realistic realistic tattoos. Oh my God. Whoa. Okay, Brian. I don't know what the hell he just said. I think Brian needs to go to – Seriously. You need to go take some medicine.

I think for a second there, I'm like, damn, I smoked too much weed. I smoked too much weed. No, I think Brian did. You just went too deep, right? You just got – No, I smoked – You just ran up a ramp covered in Vaseline. I definitely smoked too much weed on that day.

You lost me. Yeah. I have to deal with him by myself sometimes. I was trying to remember the story. And he acts like I'm crazy. I was trying to remember the story that happened last night, but then I was too stoned to remember it. So then I was trying to stumble while telling a story.

You just got to slow down, son. It's going to be okay. The crazy thing about how this tattoo came about was her shop was one block away from Old Legends. Remember that? Yeah. So I passed by her. Wait, wait. What's Old Legends? Legends is an MMA gym that was in Hollywood. It block away from Old Legends. Remember that? So I passed by her. Wait, wait, what's Old Legends?

Legends is an MMA gym that was in Hollywood. It was on La Brea. It was a kickboxing gym just right down the street from your shop. So I would pass by to go home. I lived in the West Hollywood. I would pass by to and from work all the time and always see your tech. I never saw your show, but I knew who you were from the billboards around Hollywood and shit. But I never, ever, not once thought about

ever getting a tattoo from you. I just didn't think about it. And then what happened? My guy, Carson Hill, you know, I just, I have this tattoo artist who's awesome. Name is Carson Hill. He's in LA, fucking amazing. But I was, I'm cool with him.

I'm only going to let him fuck with my shit now. That's what I was thinking. But then after like a year of just passing by your shop, I ended up at the UFC in Dallas. We were in Dallas and there wasn't shit to do. And I used to work for the UFC. And I'm sitting there in my hotel room and the Alma show comes up, that Alma Awards.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I was there. It was my mom. I took my mom. Yeah, so I'm watching the Alma Awards. It's the Latino celebrity awards or whatever. And I'm watching the ALMA Awards. It's the Latino Celebrity Awards or whatever. And I'm watching that, you know, being Latin. And I'm like, oh, shit.

I didn't know that white dude was fucking half Mexican. Like, actors are coming up and rock stars. I thought you were talking about me. No, no, no, no. And then Kat Von D comes up. And I'm like, oh, shit. She's Mexican? Holy shit.

Well, I was born in Mexico, but my family's from Argentina. So I am Latina, but I'm all mixed up. Damn, your family's from Argentina? Yeah. Wow, that's cool. So at that point, let me finish this real quick. So at that point, now she's in my head. I'm like, oh, she's Mexican.

So that was Friday afternoon, Monday, first class. After class, it's 11 o'clock at night. I'm driving past her shop it's closed up and i'm thinking a wild hair just a delusional thought hey maybe i could get her to do a tattoo on me and film it and put it on my show but me thinking like like she would actually do it i'm thinking for 10 seconds i'm thinking that's a good idea. But then as I made a right on Santa Monica Boulevard, I'm like, she's so famous, she would never do that. I'm like, what a crazy dumb thought. I go home, take a shower to get a late night bite to eat at Kitchen 24 by myself.

I just walked in. I'm quitting it. Yeah, I sat there. And this girl comes up to me that I knew from a long time ago, Jason's ex-girlfriend, Jason Chambers' ex-girlfriend, comes up to me and goes, Eddie, what's up? And she gives me a hug, goes, oh shit, and she looks at me and goes,

you should let Kat Von D tattoo you. I'm like, that is crazy, because I was just thinking that an hour and a half ago. That's insane, or whatever. I'm like, that's a pretty crazy synchronicity. You're like telepathic.

And then she goes, no, but I'm serious. I could actually get you on the show. I'm like, what? She goes, yeah, I work on the show like what goes yeah I work on the show they hired me shit ain't real Just thing that you came in riding on that vehicle because like yeah It was really honestly would have probably worked more against you than for you, but somehow you know what happened

She was bros with the casting director and she goes the casting directors Well, well she did she did get me on the show yeah She was bros with the casting director. And she goes, the casting director loves UFC. She wasn't bros with anyone. Well, she did get me on the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And for that, I am grateful for. Oh, well, thank you. It's funny when shit works that way. When you have some weird idea and all of a sudden it becomes reality. The next morning, I meet the casting director.

And he said, let's do it because he's a big UFC fan. And I was just right there on the show. And you know what? Originally, they go go Kat is very picky on who she does tattoos with so if she doesn't pick you will you go with the other two and I said no. Were you on the fence at all? Well you know

when we would film the show there was like a screening process so like I would get these like lists of different ideas and requests I guess and so I would based on the artwork I would get these lists of different ideas and requests, I guess. And so I would, based on the artwork, I would filter through and do the ones that I knew that I was capable of or I'd be excited about.

But they wouldn't really tell me much about the person coming in because they want it to be all natural on camera and stuff. So I didn't know. I think I knew very minimal. Other than your name, I didn't know. Yeah, she didn't know. She just, they said. She didn't know.

Very strange. Yeah, I said I wouldn't do it. I felt it was so crazy that I thought of it that night and an hour and a half later some chick makes it happen. I thought it was so crazy that I said,

no, I won't do it unless Kat does it. I'm not interested. Yeah, that is really odd when things like that happen because there's no denying that that, like statistically,

put that shit on paper. How crazy is that? Put the thought into your head on paper, and then meeting, what are the odds of that? That's like fucking millions to one. It's almost like the story of your life is like the writers are working on it less,

and it's just getting shittier and easier for things to happen. It's like, instead of it being some complicated fucking war and peace epic of complicated intertwining personalities, now you just think about some shit, and and peace epic of complicated intertwining personalities. No, I just think about some shit and the next day you get a phone call. It's like, what? No, an hour, hour and a half later.

Imagine if you had a bunch of magic gifts and you didn't know about them and you were just using them on tattoos and shit. You could maybe fly or breathe underwater or something. You might have had a magic gift and you made it happen. You're like, maybe you get a handful of those in your life. Yeah, I told him. And you just decided to do that

and make it happen. Yeah, it's crazy. Actually, when you think about it, it's insane. Even if you had like a little magic, like the ability to make something happen, a few gifts like that in your life, you're really not going to be able to do anything

that's truly supernatural. I mean, that would have already been done already. So, like, when you look at someone who's got, like, a tattoo is actually one of the best things you can do. You know, get something that's permanent artwork on your skin that to you, I know, means an incredible amount. And to get it from someone like her, and to get it all in, like, one bit, that really is better than, like, most magic tricks.

You know? It's insane, right? It's fucking incredible. I was trying to tell the story to the producers. They didn't want to hear that chick because they didn't want to hear that one of the chicks that worked on the show pulled string.

They didn't want to make that part of the show. Yeah, because it breaks the walls of reality. When I was telling that story, I'm like, I got an incredible story, but they go, we don't want to hear that story. Oh, that's a great story. Why wouldn't they tell that story? Because then it shows that someone got dragged in

and pulled those strings. I think it's smarter on the, I mean, the relatability on that in comparison to your actual story, like what you do and what it took to get you there and the meaning behind the tattoos. A lot more, I guess, it resonates with the viewer much more than saying, oh yeah, hey, this is a Hollywood moment. I was lot more, I guess, it resonates with the viewer much more than saying,

oh, yeah, hey, this is a Hollywood moment. I was at fucking, you know, a cafe. Well, I wouldn't think of it as a Hollywood moment, though. I think for him, it's just a crazy piece of synchronicity. Yeah, and I think we ended up actually talking about that kind of stuff anyway, like throughout the session. Yeah, yeah. I may have told you that story before.

Are you a big fan of synchronicity? Do you experience it in your life? Yeah, I'm a big fan of being the master of your own reality I think, you know, it's not so much about wishing your way through something or manifesting it but, you know, I think certain mental attitudes or mentalities that are

more productive than others Well, we know that certain attitudes I mean, you've talked about it like that John Sarno back thing. Like if you have like some sort of a, uh, like you, you could be upset or angry at things and have a bad back and think that your bad back is actually like an injury. It's not even an injury. It literally is your own brain causing your body to not up in some sort of a crazy way. That's painful. It deprives, I don't know the exact science behind it, but when you have some serious stress in your life,

somehow, this is a theory that I heard, I didn't make this up, your body, the pain is real. Your body will suffocate or deprive oxygen to your back muscles, and then they get really sore and tight. That's what happens when you get nervous or stressful. That's the theory.

It kind of makes sense because I have a back story as well, but I don't want to get into that, but I believe it. That's a long story. We're here to talk about it. Yeah, but my thinking was that you really do change a lot of shit with your mind. I mean, your mind just in the things that you come up with, like your artwork, doesn't it ever feel like sometimes like,

where the fuck is this coming from? This is almost like it's coming out of nowhere. It's coming out of your creativity. It's coming out of this weird place in your mind, and then all of a sudden it's manifesting itself in this beauty. Does it ever freak you out? I don't know if it freaks me out. just get excited about things you know and i mean i don't know i'm in love with my job i love i mean i can't even call it my job that would be so weird to say

that you know or i guess i'm the luckiest person on the planet but yeah i think it's just more um perspective really i think for a year well you know i've been tattooing since i was 14 years old i got into my first tattoo shop when i was 16, um, illegally, obviously. And I never went through like a traditional apprenticeship or anything like that. But then, um, this, this funny idea for a TV show happened when I was like 21, 22, and it changed the dynamics of things, you know, not the time I was drinking and partying a lot. And so I'm sober now, but, um, it was like, I almost had resentment towards people, uh, you know know after doing like a lot of the same stuff over and over again and the expectations that come in

it kind of like rapes the art at times you know because you just want to I mean for me I just wanted to create I just wanted to draw or tattoo and do my best and then you know the story behind the tattoo and all that just it gets pretty heavy after a while but then you something flipped, and I saw each opportunity or each tattoo as an opportunity to connect with people. And I think I'm always looking for that. I sound like a hippie, but I like making people feel good about things and about life, whether it's about death or whatever.

It does sound like a hippie, but it's beautiful. But it's a weird thing that we we mock stuff like that i don't i mean i just i mock myself more than anything because i catch myself sounding that way i do as well yeah i catch myself sounding like a retard i'm like what are you talking about idealistic fool but but that would be the best way to live if we all could figure out how to tune in like that and everybody could i feel like i'm always at my most creative when I'm being like generous and kind and nice to as many people as possible and experience the,

you know, a good connectivity with all the human beings you interact with. Totally. You feel better. You feel like some, it's working better. Yeah. Well,

I think you recognize your power as an individual, you know, and I think like intentions are really important. You know, there's like this, this little thing that I do and I think like intentions are really important you know there's like this this little thing that I do and I think I've only told like like one person about it at the end of every tattoo I put this paper towel on the tattoo and I put like witch hazel which is like a natural astringent and stuff and it's like I always like hold my hands over it for a minute and I think

that the client most of the time thinks I'm just like cleaning it off or something but in my mind i'm thinking like several words and and this is really gonna sound like a crazy i don't know like voodoo hippie thing but i just think these three words and um and it's like a transfer of energy and whatever what are the three words i'm telling you you can't tell me the three words really were? What are they, secret? Yeah. Come on. They're just words. It could kill the magic. Why would you? No, it's impossible to kill your magic.

It's impossible to kill your magic. Unless it's something like rainbow chicken salad. No, I want to hear that. Maybe you should have kept it a secret. No, I want to hear it. Why can't you tell us? It's just words. It's not just words. I'm just kidding.

Well, I mean, I think you would help people. You would fire them up. Maybe they start doing that with their life. Well, I mean, people you would help people you would fire them up maybe they start doing that with their life well I mean people have mantras and stuff and you know

whatever works for you but they want to try the Kat Von D mantra it's been so successful once it's on t-shirts then forget it maybe you have some magic you should like

give it up I do have magic we all have magic but no the purpose being is that there's like intention behind everything you do and I think that's really is that there's like intention behind every every everything you

do and um and i think that's really important because there is like a physical aspect of energy you know when people like vibes and all that stuff there's actual energy that you're putting out into the world so and focus i mean we all know when someone's not focusing on us when you're having a conversation when they're looking at their phone or doing something else yeah or you know like when you meet people and they're just like they're just dickheads or they're angry or they're having a bad day or it's hot or whatever and i've like witnessed it before where i can like bring presence or positivity into a situation you know where it's like uh i recognize my power to do that and it's like i i remember one time i was driving down the brand like i got uh the chick behind me wasn't paying attention and she totally crashed into my car and

then the guy behind her wasn't paying attention he and she totally crashed into my car, and then the guy behind her wasn't paying attention, and he crashed into her, and his airbags went off, and all this shit, you know, and I'm like, my car is, like, pretty stealth, it's not gonna get, I don't even think I got a ding on it, you know, and the cars behind me were just, like, tin cans, and I just remember going, getting out of the car, and I mean, I'm wearing, like, full leather, and just, like, tattooed, and just, like, you know, and I'm like, that could be pretty intimidating, and I'm like, oh, okay, I'm gonna consciously, like, make these people feel okay, you know, and, like, you know, and I'm like, that could be pretty intimidating. And I'm like, oh, okay. I'm going to consciously like make these people feel okay. You know? And like she rolled down her window.

She's like, and I just remember going, Hey, are you okay? And just like looking at her eye and like asking her if she's okay. And she, she just like softened. And after, don't kill me. Yeah. By the end of the, cause I could have been like angry. You look like some crazy gangbanger chick. Yeah.

You look like you could do some damage. Yeah. If I was a chick, I would be so bummed out if I rear-ended you. No, and afterwards we were all laughing about it. It would suck. And I think that we have the power to do that. Most people get all up in arms about things, and I just realized. I read something when I was a kid that nothing has any meaning

other than the meaning that you give it. Yeah, totally. And you could force things to be positive. You could force all negative situations to be opportunities for growth. You know, you can. You can. It's a way you can live your life like that totally or you could be a fuckhead just slamming into walls everywhere and and live in misery never figure it out yeah yeah yeah yeah you've got your first tattoo when you were 16 no i got my first tattoo when i was 14 actually holy shit yeah i still have it it's like a little J on my ankle. It was for my first love ever. And we dated for like three years.

Wow, that's intense. Yeah, I ran away, like moved across the country on a Greyhound bus. How old were you when you did that? By then I was 15 when I moved across. And then I was already tattooing and stuff. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Now you could put a Z under it and then put 99 problems in quotes. I don't know that, but I just tell people it stands for Jesus.

Or just kidding. Just kidding? That's funny. Yeah, you know. Wow. That's a really young age to be traveling across the country. My parents, man. And I had a hard time, I think, forgiving myself for a long time because I'm really

close with my dad and stuff. He actually lived with me me up until recently. And he got his own place. And I was pretty bummed about that. But yeah, at the time, I was like, Oh, you know, I never wanted to hurt anybody's feelings. I just really felt like the need to do this, this thing that my family didn't understand, you know, and they're from a different culture, like I said, and stuff. So they weren't really prepared for, you know, they assume like tattooing, oh my god, you're like a hoodlum or a gangster or drug addict or hook a hooker or whatever you know i was none of the above so they never put in their head you're doing tattoos boom you're gonna be some crazy famous chick no i mean you know and we we lived a really isolated world like you know the way we were

brought up was not very americanized at all so like which which i'm glad because i feel like that that's really honestly the one of the things I credit to, like being able to do all things I've done is just like the discipline. And, you know, the three of us, my brother,

sis and I, we were all like classically trained on the piano since I was six. And, um, you know, two hours a day we had to practice and when we would rather be like hanging out and stuff. And we were like way too bored to like afford like video games and shit

like that. So, so I drew all the time and spent time with my family and stuff and so for that i'm grateful i feel like that discipline really plays into like executing ideas you know i have ideas millions of ideas at all times you know and just like i think a lot of people have ideas and they just think it's i don't they've been programmed to think it's not like attainable or something which is silly to me yeah, there's that hump that you have to get over in associating pleasure with getting things done. Yeah. And also I think, too, it's like people's idea of success is so warped. You know, it's like they base it on money or status or fame. And and and to be honest with you, when I started tattooing, I didn't even know it was a job.

I just knew it felt organic and it felt like natural. Not not it didn't come to me naturally i worked really hard for it but it felt like this is where i was supposed to be you know and ever and this is granted before like a television show and stuff it was you know i just came from disneyland it was like if i would have gone to design back then like you know you don't get happy smiles and stuff you know i had so many julia roberts moments going into stores it's like can we help you you know and i'm just like I could buy this place. So they just immediately judge you?

That's their common theme? I think when I was younger, yeah. I mean, nowadays it's so embraced. I mean, if my dad, who is super anti-tattoos and doesn't have any or anything, it took 10 years of me tattooing because I started tattooing on that TV show after 10 years of tattooing. So it took a television show for my dad to actually

you know acknowledge the fact that I wasn't like not a loser but you know like that I wasn't throwing my life away that he's like oh and sometimes it takes that I don't hold that against my dad I mean I'll blame them really you know you've influenced a lot of chicks in how they look. You were the first one that popped through. And boys, Joe. The first one who was like a really hot chick who just tattooed herself to fuck up. It's like, whoa, this chick went for it. And guys were like, I like it.

I like it. And then boom. Then there was a wave of them. It was you. And then it was like everywhere you look, there's this crazy tattooed up girls. Like the percentage of it. I don't know what, I don't know. I'll put a number on it.

Increased by like 30, 40, 50%. It went from however minimal amount of women tattooed to like one out of three women have tattoos in America. And that was like back, let's see. I remember that stat when I did the Ellen DeGeneres show which was like years ago. That's hilarious. It's probably more now. Do you look at the stats

like we're winning? We're taking over? No, no, no, no, because I never, I actually, you know, I mean, I have friends that have no tattoos and they're like,

feel the need to get one. I'm like, I don't know, I like you the way you are, you know, that's good. I mean, I get tattooed for myself personally,

you know, it's, if anything, it's kind of, it's kind of a drag sometimes. I don't really feel like, you know it's if anything it's kind of it's kind of a drag sometimes I don't really feel like you know always talking about my tattoos

like when I'm going out and stuff but it's also a positive thing so I can't complain you know I love art so yeah yeah it's a weird thing with people if they either

they either have them or they don't have them if they don't have them they could never imagine I could never imagine I could never imagine drawing something and just staging it forever

suicide girls they owe you big time you blew that that company up right well that whole look yeah they need to worship you do you i think i tattooed the the guy who brought came up with that whole concept but a while ago do you feel weird about that like that you've i mean that's got to be a strange thing to have so much influence. Um, you know, I think, uh, I may not have recognized it when I first started,

um, you know, being in the public eye or whatever as, as that until I got sober, I think I really started recognizing that and it became important to me. You know, I'm pretty PG 13 just by, by nature,

you know, I'm pretty squeaky clean. I don't, you could take my phone and go through it and find pictures of my cat and stuff. Probably not anything incriminating. But I like the idea of putting that good stuff out there. All my books and everything,

it's really easy for me to talk about my downfalls or my issues, or not struggles, because that sounds like I'm a martyr or something. But like, you know, the shit I've experienced in hopes that I don't know, people would feel less alone because I know what it's like to feel that way. So, you know, I don't know. That's what a lot of people say about people that are covered in tattoos. And if you never I have two sleeves in case you're thinking I'm being an asshole. They feel like a lot of people

don't have tattoos feel like you're covering something up oh yeah I remember Dr. Drew and I had a conversation about that because he I loved this book that he wrote and in it talked about how tattooing is like a form of narcissism not on like a level of oh I think I'm awesome but the opposite which is narcissism just the same but you know like it's it's a reflection of what it's on the inside and i don't really necessarily see it that way because that to me yeah there's some tattoos that hold meaning like i love my dad i got a portrait of my arm that's self-explanatory but there's other stuff i let like my friends who don't know how to draw like tattoo me it looks like a drunken three-year-old did something and i love it because it's just fun and it's cool and I don't really care.

You let your friends draw on you. That's awesome. I let them tattoo me, which is a bigger deal. Dr. Drew is a silly bitch. He really is a silly bitch. I love him too, but he's a silly bitch. We need to get him on the podcast. I saw him the other day at the gas station.

I would get him on. I would get him on. on the podcast. I saw him the other day at the gas station. I would get him on. I would get him on. I, you know, he's been involved

in that scandal for influencing the idea that people bought some certain drugs off-label, like saying, touting their sexual benefits and stuff.

And then he'll talk crap about marijuana or people smoke pot and he'll say silly things like how horribly addictive it is and it's all just nonsense. Nonsense. You know, I haven't, like I said earlier,

I haven't owned a television. It was 16 years in March, and I'm pretty adamant about not watching television. My point. So I don't know. But, you know, I get what you're saying. You can't tell you why you're getting it. You can't say that you're just not enjoying the art.

You can't. I know people who love their tattoos. They love it for art. Yeah, yeah. You don't have to be covering something. Well, I'm an expressive person, and, you know, yeah, like, of course we all have issues and stuff. I have no problem, like, wearing my heart on my sleeve. And, I mean, I've actually gotten a lot of shit for that, you know what I mean, in the past and stuff with relationships.

And I just don't really live in that world of regret or really giving a fuck, so, you know. I just hate absolutes like that. Like, you have to be fucked up. You have to be this. You have to be that. It You have to be this. You have to be that. It gets silly with certain things. Yeah. I mean, I think no one's perfect either, so I feel like I can see the goodness in everything,

even the stuff I don't necessarily agree with. I try to at least. Right. Yeah. I would like to look at things that way. I would like to look at people with tattoos and just, you know, I don't know why anybody got them, but I look at them and I go, wow, I hope you like it.

I hope it's something that means something. I hope it's something. Everybody, for whatever reason, wants to immediately try to figure out what was fucked up with you that made you get to the place where you enjoy that. I'm more scared of the person who's, like, totally corporate and working in a cubicle that's miserable, and there's like suppression

of like, of creativity. Like, man, that's such a waste of energy, you know? Like,

imagine if everybody was free to do things like, as they, you know, like I was talking about earlier, people's idea of success. It's like,

imagine if you didn't, you weren't bound by like everybody else's idea of that, you know? Like, if you could settle for a job that paid less but you were completely happy I mean my dad and I used to argue about this all the time because he's like you know you didn't go to high school and it's like yeah I know

dad I know but check it out like you went to years of school and you don't like what you do and you're struggling so hard and you know my dad comes from a medical background and stuff but um and I was so on my way to work every day and I walked down like the tarnished fucking Hollywood stars you know, my dad comes from a medical background and stuff. But and I was still on my way to work every day. And I walked down like the tarnished fucking Hollywood stars, you know, like just walking. I'm like, oh, my God, there's like a bunch of punk rockers there. And it's like, oh, it's just life is good. Like, I love it. You know, and if I wasn't getting paid, I'd still be happy.

There's a documentary that Werner Herzog just put out. It's called The Happy People, A Year in the Taiga. It's these people that live up in Siberia and how happy they are. And there's like no depression. Everybody just does their work and their whole life is struggle. Their whole life is,

they live off the land almost completely and entirely, trapping, hunting, and they're in fucking Siberia. There's only one way to get there. You have a couple months where you can take a boat. That's it. Otherwise, you've got to get flown in.

There's no roads to get up there, and these people are happy as fuck. They're just up there, you know, like, shooting animals, living off the land, growing their own vegetables. They have to work hard in the spring and summer to prepare for the winter, and then they prepare for the winter, like, smoking fish. I mean, every day. no one has a job. Every day they're working, like securing food for their families and storing it up so they can make it through the next winter.

I mean, it's amazing. It's not really that different than living in Hollywood and people who do that in their own ways. It's just, it's just more, I feel like it's more natural. Yeah. It sounds so much more simple and less thought evoked. Like here, it's like the stress of getting to work and fighting three hours of traffic to get to a job

that I don't respect or love. You're still suffering or whatever for something. You know what I mean? Well, something happened somewhere along the way and society and our culture moved way faster than the human body did and all of a sudden jobs required you to sit still they required you to stare at fucking unnatural light they required you to enter in things and you're fucking back hurts and you're

doing it all day every day like the body's not designed for that the body's designed to do with these fucking people in siberia are doing it's designed to go out and and kill caribou and and you know have dogs chained to trees and they keep the bears away i mean that's these guys are happy as fuck yeah and this is the real way we're supposed to live it's crazy what if they hate it well they don't though see what i'm saying is that like all of our little receptors i think are set up for to reward us for certain experiences i don't think we're set up any different than the people that lived when you had to live like that. So I think the only way to really not feel lost is there's no fucking movie star status when you're in Siberia. There's no front of the line of the club.

There's no mentally generated. There's no bullshit. There's no nothing. There's no head of 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu. There's no stand-up comedian. There's no nothing. There's get a fish. You've got to get a fish because we're going to fucking die in the winter if you don't and everybody does that but yet they're all happy as shit they there's you remember when you were a kid and you like you like thought of like where you were like well we'll

never i'll never live there i'm never going to move there i'm never going to get out of this class i'm never going to get out of this situation this is where i'm at well for them it's a reality where they're surrounded by nature and woods like there really is no alternatives yeah so they have no delusions there's no ridiculousness in their life and they're truly in the moment living like people were living 10 000 plus years ago yeah that's how we're supposed to live so we're fucking ourselves up if they had tv city bullshit how long do you think it would take one generation tv they'd be out of there in a minute the kids were like what are we doing out here yeah looking at mtv kath vundy would change the way they all look they would get i want tattoo mommy in one month they'd all want

tattoos they'd be uh making homemade tattoos of beaver teeth and shit they would start tattooing themselves in siberia yeah we were at the uh the coffee place and uh we were having small talk with uh the nice lady behind the counter and she said oh i had a house sit this weekend it was terrible they didn't even have cable no internet and me and eddie were like well but we were being serious. We're like, whoa, no cable? What the fuck? So what do you use, antenna? That sucks. And then Eddie goes, well, at least he got the internet. And she's like, no, no, they didn't even have the internet.

He's like, what? What? Yeah, fuck TV. You can just get on the internet. These guys don't even have that. They don't even have electricity, and they're happy. They don't have electricity, man. They just don't know. They get a little bit of gasoline that they use for their snowmobiles

and their chainsaws and that's a wrap. That's it. They probably think they're balling like the lower class of them who live in the hills

and shit. There's no class, man. That's what's crazy. They all live in the exact same houses. They don't even use windows, man. They don't use windows because windows

are too hard to carry around. So they build these houses out of logs and then they cut holes in the logs and put plastic and nail plastic in place that's all you need yeah what's the bears yeah bears rip them apart so often those damn bears i swear where are they gonna get glass anyways it's hard to transport yeah it's oh they could get it yeah they got chainsaws they did they're not making their own chainsaws they somehow or another got chainsaws. They're not making their own chainsaws. They somehow or another got chainsaws either taken to them on a boat or flown in.

Somebody gave them a few tools. But they make boats with a fucking big piece of wood. They just drop it down and hollow it out and make this canoe. And that's how they live every year. It does never change. And yet they're happy as fuck. It's really weird. Because to us, it would be hell.

To the lady who works at the coffee place, she was bumming out that she didn't have cable. These motherfuckers are fighting mosquitoes like you've never seen. Because the mosquitoes are only alive for like a couple of months. They only got a couple months in Siberia to live. So they go gangster in giant swarms

like you've never seen anything like that. And they don't have any raid or any shit like that. Off. Off. They have to cover themselves in tar. They make a tar with bark. They cook the bark down to a tar and then rub it all over their face with, like, oil. Fuck that.

Fuck that. I'd be gone. I'd go, fuck this peaceful shit. You've never seen mosquitoes like this. That's horror. Well, that's one of the beautiful things about L.A. is that we're not not supposed to be here so life doesn't like it here either there's not that much here without us it's not that much water there's very few bugs yeah there's very few bugs like in the summers in in the east coast it was fucking terrible you know especially like in uh in boston if you lived

anywhere near a lake anywhere near body of water, the mosquitoes were horrendous, man. They would fuck you up. Nothing like Siberia, dude. You would see shit. Yet they're so happy. Yep. But then again, you wouldn't be happy that way. Maybe.

You wouldn't be happy. No, you wouldn't. Not if you know your life now. You love tattooing. You love, you know, you love. Yeah, but this doesn't define me. I mean, I don't know. You could adapt.

Yeah, of course you can. Do you think you could be a siberian princess i don't know if i want to be a princess but be up there beaver trapping and shit a warrior yeah that would be cool a couple months a year fuck it you go live with them until you realize they have no cigarettes you're like shit no cigarettes i want a cigarette so bad you're like that for two days and someone will give you some rolled up bullshit that tries to claim it's a cigarette. One issue of Inked Magazine would destroy that culture.

Yeah. Oh, anything would destroy it. Access to some other things would destroy it. The idea is that it takes the body somewhere between 10 and maybe even possibly 20,000 or more years to completely change. Like to completely change as far as like for you to have like a genetic response to adaptation to change.

So like 10,000 years for us is a long, long time to a human being. But to species, it's really not that much. So in order for things to like decide that they're moving in certain directions, then they start changing. And that's one of the things that the really controversial ideas behind autism is that autism is not necessarily a benefit, but that autism might be a new possible way that the brain can operate. With some really high-functioning autistics,

what they're showing is even though it's coming through in a disease and even though it brings with it debilitating social issues and shit like that the positive aspects of it like a kid that can look out a window and then draw the whole fucking skyline like yeah that what that is is representing the next stage of human evolution and that all the information that we're getting from sitting in front of computers, from interacting with each other in a way that no one has ever been able to do before, the brain is just going, we're just redlining that motherfucker.

I can't wait to be able to buy that upgrade. Can you imagine that? I wonder if that's going to be available, Brian. It's going to be a pill. It's going to be a pill. It's just going to be like, oh, we're going to fuck up your brain a little. Most likely, if you listen to the real futurists,

it's going to be some sort of a hybrid between a human and a computer. It'll be something where you... I'll be long gone by then, thank God. You think so, but I don't know about that. I want some autism pills. I don't think so. I don't think you'll be long gone.

I think you might experience that. And I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. I think everybody's worried about every new possible technological thing as being something that separates us from each other. I think everybody's worried about every new possible technological thing as being something that separates us from each other or something. I'm not worried about it. It just seems like a lot of energy to waste on thinking about. I don't know.

I mean, then again, you know, I'm not like a big fan of like reading fiction, you know, I guess. You're not a fan of fiction. You don't even have a television, right? No. I mean, I have like a movie screen. I can watch movies. So you watch movies, but no TV.

Sometimes, yes. I like documentaries and stuff like that. But you try to avoid TV. No, I do avoid TV. I don't like forced advertisement, and I don't like, well, no, I don't want to complain. I just think that. You can't complain because. I'll tell you what.

Right. Because you're on it, right? No, I mean, I can. No, I could go. I mean, you could. You can complain, but you what. Because you're on it, right? No, I mean, I can... I mean, you could. You can complain. I mean, I could easily... It's easier for me to talk shit about... Like, point out all the downfalls of my television show

versus anyone else. So, like, in vague terms, I think that my problem with it, or the reason that I stay away from it, aside from just being... I got too many ideas that I want to do at a time, but, like, is that I stay away from it aside from just being, I got too many ideas that I want to do and I don't have time, but like, is that I am too sensitive.

So like I, I get, like I get heartbroken by billboards. Like there was, there was like a movie. I remember there was like a movie and they had a billboards everywhere. I don't remember the movie. It was like,

you know, Ashton Kutcher and some like hot chick or whatever. And like, and, and he's like putting on, buttoning up his shirt. She's like buttoning up and she's wearing his shirt and she's like getting out of bed and it says something about like no strings attached or like friends with benefits or some shit and i was like like that's so sad to me

like that's like the opposite of love like like you guys just like have sex with each other and there's no like i could never wow and you almost cried looking at a billboard? I mean, if I think about it too much, yeah, I do. So it's like I watch, if I were to sit there and watch these television shows where the premise is to like, you know, there's a rich guy and a bunch of girls are fighting over this guy and they're using their tits and ass as qualities. It's disheartening. I mean, I sound like an old lady.

No, you don't. I get it. Everybody might see a Circuit City, so i mean i sound like an old lady because no you don't i get it everybody's circuit city i feel that way like an abandoned circuit city it's depressing to me i get sad there's just an absence of true love and i guess the romantic in me gets saddened by that same with music i can't listen to music that's too you can definitely get affected by some shit especially if you don't know it's coming like and you flip it through the channels there's some intense fucking movies on like that you you know you're just flipping through like i watched straw dogs last night do you know what straw dogs is i haven't seen it it's a there's this insane rape scene in this movie where i i turned on the movie right when it was going on i was like

what fucking movie is this but for the rest of the night i was all fucked up i mean it becomes i don't want to say anything about the movie the movie's very good um but it's it gets really fucking intense whereas like the rest of the night i was fucked up and i ordinarily wouldn't have watched it but i i didn't know what it was i was just pressing buttons and then boom it came on yeah and fucked my head for the rest of the night yeah and it's weird and i think it's like we just kind of like we and i think it's like people become so desensitized and i my head for the rest of the night. Yeah. And it's weird. And I think it's like, we just kind of like, we, I think it's like people become so desensitized and I guess that's the part that I have a problem with, you know, like people, you see it on Twitter, you see it on Instagram, everybody's so negative and mean and take any opportunity

to like knock people down. I've never been from that like train of thought, you know, and cause my parents just raised us a lot differently and stuff. And so it like, I get like so I get butt hurt really easily. That's better, though. You'll attract better people that way, and you'll figure out a way to get away from the people that aren't like that. I mean, it's like, yeah, giving that any value is just as bad, I think.

But I just want people to be nice. That's all. I think almost all really expressive people, anybody who's artistic or very expressive, there's always some extreme sensitivity on the other side of it as well. Just is. You're intense about everything. You're probably intense about love.

You're probably intense about... Yeah, I mean, that's why you cry when you see an Ashton Kutcher thing. It's your intensity. You take shit up to a higher level quicker than most people. That's probably what it is. Everything's a symbol, and then I get sad about that. But I've been sad. I've cried during previews, depressing movies.

What? Yeah, man. What? Good Burger? What? I don't know. You're funny over there. Some sad.

Thank you. Don't encourage him. Sorry. What are you doing? How can you say that after all he's done? No. But, you know, then there's like those moments of brilliance and people are inspiring and great and do awesome shit.

Yeah. Well, that's what we get off each other the most. That's the most beautiful thing that people get from each other is we're inspired by each other. I love going to music because I'm not musical. I can't do anything. I love music. So I love going and watching because I feel like it fires me up.

Oh, you go to musicals. No, no, no. Is that what you said? No, no, no. I love to see music. I love to see people perform. Yeah, me too. Bands perform.

I love to see people do things that I have zero skill in. I was impressed with our last exchange of emails when like uh going back and forth on band recommendations and stuff because i had no idea that you were into this that kind of stuff well the funny thing is he emailed me and he's like hey i want to know uh like what are your what are you listening to nowadays i want to get some new music i'm like oh man like where do you start give me a genre you know and so then you turn me on to so many good so then i was like all right here's like 10 and then tell me which ones you like and then i'll know what kind I'll be your like genius playlist or whatever wow that's cool and I'm using Kat Von D for you genius playlist she's got some great shit she's I'm gonna tell you my my Kat Von

D music story because most people most people don't know that she has an amazing voice she can sing her ass off and she's really shy about it's crazy shy about we have that true well let me let me tell you she doesn't like talking about it no I don't we have about it I just can't say like oh yeah it is true we're both working with the same producer which is also her best friend Danny is producing my stuff and he's messing with her too musically as well so I'm at Danny's and we're working on some stuff and he goes me and me and cat and Wes Borland from Limp Bizkit. He's the guitar player for Wes Borland.

He goes, me and Wes are going to do a little benefit song. Oh, yeah. He really helped me out. Like, last minute. So last minute, they put together this. They're putting together this song, Last Minute. It's a cover. And she's going to perform at this gay benefit, right?

Yeah. It was for Linda Perry's Evening with Women. It's like an awesome charity. So Danny's telling me and Danny he's like man we're trying to put together this song

it's gonna be a disaster so we had like less than 48 hours to learn this song it was like that Bronski beat song I love Bronski beat and like

and I mean I ended up just like reading it from my iPad as I was trying to totally fucked it up but it was fun and it was great and stuff

but then I think I had been recording that night at Linda's and you were at Danny's and I was really excited because I had becausenarly stage fright issues for the last year and stuff. Just whatever.

And so I finally threw the balls, I guess, to get over them. And so obviously Danny's my best friend, and we're going to be working on music. So I was like, hey, I want to come over. It was late. I think it was almost midnight or something. Yeah, me and Danny are working on stuff. And Linda Perry, for those that don't know, she was the lead singer for I want to come over. It was late. I think it was like, what, like almost midnight or something. Yeah, me and Danny are working on stuff. And Linda Perry, for those that don't know, she was the lead singer for Foreign On Blondes.

She produced Pink's second album, which went fucking skyrocket. So Linda Perry is a massive music producer. Well, I mean, Linda's like. She also did Christina Aguilera, too, the big, you're so beautiful. No matter, she did all that shit. Keep singing. I want to hear this. I don't know.

No, but so Linda Perry's a huge Stop Right, right? So she's working with Kat now They're writing some shit together I'm at Danny's, she's all excited, they recorded a song They brought it over Yeah, and then Danny's like texting me, is it cool if Eddie Bravo

I'm like, yeah, I don't care, just don't say anything About it, and then, but of course I had to be in the other room, because I was like, I'm not care just don't say anything about it but of course I had to be in the other room because I was like I'm not going to sit there and go what do you think

or whatever yeah she had to go to the next room it was just like vocal it wasn't like a produced track or anything and then Danny

was all stoked but he texted me the other day he's like man he's still talking about it he like loved it and I'm like

oh that makes me happy is that what Danny said yeah so what ended up happening I've told this

story a bunch, because the next day at school, I said, most of you guys don't know this. You can't tell us. Most of you guys don't know this, but I was so impressed with her voice and the actual song, her and Linda Perry together. I feel with the right marketing, of course, I think it could be huge. Could it be bigger than Paris Hilton's single? I like that song a lot.

I bet you did. You should get that shit tattooed on your dick. No, well, anyways, the song, the song that her

and Linda Perry did together, the first one that she brought over is amazing. What's it called? I'm not going to talk about it yet.

Yeah, you can't talk about it, son. She's trying to send you hints. No, no, no, no.

The bottom line is she's actually a great singer. Her voice is amazing. When I see your artwork, I think you'd be good at anything you wanted to be. You'd be amazing. If you can draw that well, I mean, that's like some really high-level shit. You could do that with anything. I really believe that.

I believe that with anybody who's super awesome at anything. How many bad tattoos do you see a day of people just coming in with, like, I mean, have you ever seen one that you're just like, wow, that's the worst tattoo I've ever seen? Well, I mean, there's such a big difference in, like, personal preference versus technical aspect of things. So, like, I mean, there's some stuff that's not necessarily technically. It's like everything else, like music.

It's like technically might not be the best singer, but the charisma is behind it and you know blah blah blah I mean well there's that style that the what was the teacher at Hardy that Ed Hardy style yeah yeah which not that artistic but that's like its own art you know and I didn't understand it for a long time my ex-husband was like really into doing that kind of artwork, and he's really great at it. There's an art behind it.

I'm personally not as inclined to do that kind of stuff, but I appreciate it for what it is. So I don't know. I mean, I think I see a lot of great ideas in people often, and then you just see kind of a poor execution or an inexperienced execution. But but yeah i mean i don't know i see so many amazing things now that like blow me out of the water it's like fuck there's so many great artists nowadays so i'm permanently scarred from ever getting a tattoo again because

of my tattoo because it was a free tattoo it was somebody practicing for their first time it took seven hours it should have taken one hour god i remember i used to be that slow too yeah and then i found out it's not even supposed it's like supposed to be an r for my last name and i found out it means waterfalls now so now it's like the ugliest tattoo ever with this chinese letter that means waterfalls but it's probably small you can cover it up easy yeah yeah you just get that shit lasered off son they could do that pretty easy now especially like um like it's not red red is apparently the most difficult color yeah right it's got red in it have you got always it yeah doesn't yeah they could work that right I thought it was blue for some reason it's red red is the easiest to get out yeah red and black and then purples and

greens I think losing greens are a little harder but it all depends on like how have you done it have you done the lasering off? Yeah. Anything? Yeah. A couple, like this whole arm got lasered. It used to be, I got like this tattoo and I was like 15 or 16. It was like the New York dolls, like cowgirl with a gun.

And then there's like a flag coming out of it says bang. And at the time I thought it was cool. I'm like, man, I have the word bang on my arm. I really need to get rid of that. That's better than waterfalls. How long did it take?

Um, well with like laser, you have to go for sessions. That's better than waterfalls. How long did it take? Well, with laser, you have to go for sessions. It's super painful and stuff. More painful than tattooing? Fuck yeah. Wow. Well, I'm a wussy, so I don't know.

I can't handle it. What? Did you just say? Yeah. You have tattoos all over your body and you're telling me that you're a wussy. Oh my God.

Ask anybody at my show. Like 15 minutes and I tap out. I can't do it. Those are all 15 minute tattoos? No, this was all, a lot of them was under the influence of alcohol so it was a lot easier but now like back in the day things were easier remember that one time when i drank too much do i remember i think we have that on video just just you saying that is hilarious because i can just go through a rolodex in my head of any moment that sentence could apply to.

He wrote a blog about my alcohol problem. Do you have one? No, no, I don't have an alcohol problem. I'm not an alcoholic, but I will drink a lot on special occasions. And when I pass a certain point, the Indian comes out, as Joey Diaz says. And when the Indian comes out, for sure I'm not going to remember any of the night. He blacks out. Is it fun, though? Oh, no. He's like, oh, I love you, man. going to remember any of the night. He blacks out. Is it fun, though?

Or is he like the one that's like, oh, I love you, man. Oh, no, no, no. He hates it. He hates it. He's a great guy. The problem is he completely checks out, and he doesn't know where he is. And he literally is like a third of a mind controlled by a demon from another galaxy. It's a totally different person. controlled by a demon from another galaxy. He's like a one-third Eddie

and two-thirds some demonic alcohol-sucking demon from another planet. It's weird. How about evil, though? No, never evil. I don't mean that. I mean possessed by the alcohol. It's like just wandering around.

He doesn't know what happens until the next day when he sobers up. You have to tell him what happens. I've had to get his hotel door opened by security, banging on his door in Germany when we were supposed to leave bang on his door, finally the door opens okay, we get the door open, Eddie is

lying in bed with his cowboy boots on and the light is on the light is on, he's completely just completely out cold, I go eddie we gotta go to the fucking airport he's like what's up he just looks at me and the security guy was hey what's up yeah like i'm trying to play it off like hey what's up guys it was that's not the worst story that's not even the worst story the car one yeah the car one is the worst i i talked to him it was

like i was having breakfast it was like 7 o'clock in the morning. And the car was going to come at 9. And he calls me while we're having breakfast. He's still fucked up. I mean, he is fucked up. The plan was to drink all night and walk onto the airplane and then sleep all the way back. Yeah. So like stay up all night, right?

Yeah. So, you know, I go, are you fucked up? Did you stay up all night? He's like, yeah, fuck yeah, man. I'm going to power through. I'm going to power through. And so I go, okay, well, we're leaving at 830, all right? You got to be down there for the car at 830.

No problem, no problem. So I eat breakfast. An hour and a half later, I go out for, you know, wait for him. It's an hour and a half. Sitting here. Ten minutes later, I'm like, okay, what the fuck is going on? So I talk to the guy who's the valet. I go, hey, is my car here and the guy says what's

your name I said Rogan he goes Oh Rogan already left I don't know no Rogan is me he goes no Rogan already left I go what did he look like he said well he had long hair at the time so long hair tattoos I'm like that motherfucker so I call him up and first of all he answers the phone then just hangs up realize he didn't even know what he did wake up and I see it's Joe calling I'm like what I go what's up he goes you took my car and I hung up and I we're on the Autobahn and I tell the driver where we going we're going to the airport oh shit then he keeps calling i don't think that was the autobahn i don't know what it was but we're flying it was just a regular highway

well it sounds like a good time yeah it was ridiculous yeah so then i woke up in the car sending it to uh my message or my answering service or whatever and i had to figure out what the hell was going on and then i finally answered he's so fucking so fucking mad. I'm like, holy shit, I'm sorry. I have no idea what happened. I just woke up in the back of the car. I don't remember the whole night. I must have passed and just jumped in his car. But this is like total, like if Eddie, there's a certain number of drinks where he gets over.

Well, he'll just disappear. And he's gone. He's gone. The Aubrey story? The Texas one? Don't even go into that. Don't even. I brought that up

I wasn't I was just gonna bring up the end what you know what else I didn't know you know what else I found out

I found out my cat in Japanese means waterfalls oh that's perfect I'm like thinking something's fucked up with waterfalls what are you talking

what cat in Japanese techie in Japanese means waterfalls I found out the other day so you're fine then you should be celebrating your tattoo I don't want to go

chasing waterfalls this much for some I need to know why what's that song from what was that band TLC TLC that was a sweet song

I'm never going to walk in the ocean because I might come out of blob Brian you need to go outside and get some air so what are your plans for your music

what's the plan well you know the coolest thing I think with, with Linda is, like, we're just kind of, we're moving forward without any... Deadlines. No, no, it's not the deadlines. We have goals, obviously, but it's, you know, like, by summertime, I think it should be done out, which is exciting.

But I think it's, like, we're not really congesting our thoughts with anything right now. We're just writing music without outside voices no reference just you know so you said you got over your stage are you going to start

doing live performances oh yeah yeah yeah I'm putting a band together yeah yeah yeah you're going to go on tour yeah yeah holy shit wow

she's going to be a rock star what are you going to be a rock star that term is so weird to me it seems like you can sneak it through from the back door just from just from having talent and being to me it seems like you can sneak it through from the back door just from just from having talent and being on tv it's like you just just sneak it right through i don't know

i just i want to do everything with even small things with a lot of quality and so i think like with the music stuff i just want to make it as you know uh as good as possible for lack of a better description but um yeah so i think people will probably be pleasantly surprised in the sense that they're expecting me to fail as usual so i like it people are expecting you to fail i think people always expect you to fail like you know i think really yeah i mean other than your friends obviously i'm talking about like you know yeah i think so especially me because i was on tv so it's like oh you're just doing that's definitely true but you have some success they want it to be it's hard to get into oh, you're just doing this. That's definitely true. If you have some success, they want it to be it.

It's hard to get into music after you're already famous for something else. It's tough. Yeah. Has anybody ever done it well? Jamie Foxx? Steve Martin. Sort of. Steve Martin?

His band's pretty big for a certain kind of music. Oh, he does just plain music shows, right? Yeah, he does. He plays banjo and stuff. It's a certain style of music, but he's doing, he's successful in that, you know? Hmm. Anybody else?

Eddie Murphy. Oh, that's right. He had it. Party all the time. Party all the time. That's kind of like what my stuff sounds like. Like that? No.

That's cool. What kind of shit do you sound like? What does it sound like? You know what? I don't know. Linda and I both have like tried figuring it out. A dark Sarah McLachlan kind of. Oof. Stop it. Don't say that kind does he sound like? You know what? Linda and I both have tried figuring it out. A dark Sarah McLachlan kind of. Oof, stop it.

Don't say that kind of stuff. Is that bad? No, I could never compromise that to anybody. But yeah, no, she just calls it powerfully pathetic, which is good. Powerfully pathetic, I think. It's all very sad and tragic and romantic, but there's elements of classical music and stuff and some electronic elements.

So there won't be any Sheryl Crow type, all I want to do is have some fun? I don't even know what that is. You don't know that song? All I want to do is have some fun. Stop it, guys. I thought you were supposed to talk about manly stuff. Listen, we're so manly we take it in the other direction. We're not scared to talk

cheryl crow that's a great song it's a great fucking song you don't like that kind of music no i know i don't dislike i just don't i don't know what do you listen to personally oh man kent kent kent is one of my favorite bands there's a swedish band i like a lot of scandinavian music i like a lot of metal and i like a lot of like love depeche mode and the cure and shit like that so a lot of obscure shit that people wouldn't be aware of and then a lot of classic shit like Suzy and the Banshees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even listen to anything that's made before 1980 anymore.

Black Sabbath? No. Led Zeppelin? I listen to some Black Keys. That's the only modern shit I listen to. And then everything else is old stuff. All I've been listening to is like Allman Brothers. Oh, yeah.

Oh, okay. After 80. Okay, I see what you're saying. Did I say before? I is like Almond Brothers. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. I love Almond Brothers. After 80. Okay, I see what you're saying. Did I say before? I thought you did. I'm sorry. Anything after 1980, I'm like done. I'm done.

Except the Black Keys. The Black Keys seem to have kept the soul. And Honey Honey. And Honey Honey. Yeah, that's right. They're my friends. And Everlast. Oh, yeah.

That guy too. The 80s had some of the best shit ever. But I mean like modern bands that you hear on the radio that are like big hits. I can't get into any of this shit. I don't even know. I couldn't even tell you. I'm at a supermarket every now and then. That's the only time I hear music.

I'm shopping. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? Is this something new? It's Deadmau5. No. It would be some weird fucking auto-tuned bullshit. And it's repeating itself over and over again. I'm like, is this the new shit?

Is this popular right now? I feel like I'm some dude who's like an outlier, who comes into town every now and then to find out what the folks are up to. That's what it feels like. And as I get older and older, it becomes more and more apparent. I can understand. I like some pop music, I guess, but I think it's it's it's hard for

me to wrap my mind around certain things like how does that resonate with people because for me i'm always i love poetry and i love things that are so much more profound and and i think people are hungry for that you know i think like yeah even though like a lot of the stuff that's like really big right now is very superficial and whatever but like i feel like there is definitely like um i think people are hurting and they want to relate somehow so i don't know well i yeah i definitely think that but i also think there's like a lot of music that some people just aren't even aware of of course there's a lot of young kids today that don't even know what whole lot of love sounds like when you hear it through like

really good speakers yeah but the other day man i was driving down uh hollywood and i seen these awesome fucking metal heads and they were like carrying skateboards like young kids and they had like one had like a death shirt on and the other one had like a motorhead shirt on i was just like i literally rolled my window down and my friend allison was and i'm like hey i love you guys and they're like i love you too over their skateboards like it's just fucking long hair metal will never die so cool yeah I thought metal was gone

in the 80s I thought this shit is not gonna last metal will never die it won't

that feeling will never die because there's always gonna be shitty parenting you're never gonna get rid of metal

because you're never gonna make people become good parents you're always gonna have people just wanna fuck yes Slayer to make people become good parents you're always going to have people just wanna fuck yeah

they just want to pound on the walls fucking scream and just curse their circumstances and turn crosses upside down yeah you're always gonna have shitty parenting so you're always gonna have i did all that shit i bet that shit is on a computer i wrote satanic lyrics like every song had to be. Come on, son. It either had to be about when I was 14, 15, 16, all the songs I wrote were nuclear war, anti-religion, demons killing priests. Did you do any love songs? Nothing about love?

No, no. Not until I was 19 or 20. In your defense, though, when we were kids, when we were growing up, we're older than you. You probably don't recognize that Soviet Union threat feeling. Did you ever have that threat when you were a kid? Did you ever feel that? See, when Eddie and I grew up, we were really worried that we were going to get in a nuclear war with the Soviet Union.

Really? Everybody. Oh, yeah, bro. Bro, everybody did. Dude, nuclear war was such a popular. It was so close. It was so close. Is that like when dinosaurs roamed the earth? How dare you?

How dare you? Look, it's possible today, but back then it was not just possible. It seemed probable. 70s, like late 70s? Late 70s, early 80s, everybody thought we were going to war with Russia. That was a fact. Until Ronald Reagan and Chernobyl effectively bankrupted the Soviet Union. That's one of the big things

that brought it down. But when the Soviet Union fell apart, then everybody took a deep breath and relaxed. But until that happened, there was always this constant thread that they were going to take us over. World War III. Yeah. They were in Cuba. I mean, they were 90 miles from our border setting up missile silos. I mean, there was

a lot of shit that went down during the Kennedy administration. So there was a lot of shit that went down during the Kennedy administration. So there was that feeling, especially as technology increased. And then there was that Star Wars program that came on where they were developing these fucking things to shoot missiles out of the sky. They'd be like satellites that were launched up with lasers to zap missiles out of the sky.

That's like a significant part of the budget and a significant part of what Ronald Reagan was talking about when they were talking about national defense. So we were worried about going to war with Russia. It was constant when we were kids.

Very popular song topic. Seems fucked up, right? It doesn't even make sense to you. It was a band called Nuclear Assault. The song was called Nuclear Death. Nuclear Death.

Nuclear dick suck. Yeah. Nuclear what else? Oh, there's a crazy I'll have to Nuclear Holocaust. I'll have to put it up later. Have you seen that video, Brian, that the Holocaust survivor, or excuse me, the Hiroshima survivor made?

No. He made a cartoon. You've got to pull it up. I forget the guy's name. Something Ben. Is it going to make me sad? Oh, it's crazy. I don't want to be sad.

Well, it's a cartoon that was written by a survivor from Hiroshima. And depicting how it was, like what the experience was like for the people on the ground. It's fucked up, man. Because even though it's just a cartoon, I mean. You guys have to watch it after I leave. You can't handle it? You don't want to watch it in front of us? The less I know, the better.

Really? Sometimes. I don't know. I'll get sad. It's kind of crazy that there's like 10 different countries or more that has nuclear weapons. I mean, how many have them? Seven. I don't know.

You just taking guesses over there, son? Yeah. I mean, we know Pakistan, India, the UK certainly has them. The Korean War, we made 18 Korean cities disappear. We did? 18. That's why they fucking hate us, man. They're like, no more.

No more of this bullshit. They just shut themselves off from the world. Can you imagine that? 18 cities disappear? And it was no nuclear. It was all like, what, hydrogen bombs and shit? I don't know the bombs they used, but they leveled 18 cities in Korea during the Korean War. Jesus Christ.

That's crazy shit. They don't talk about that too much. Yeah, wrap your head around that. Try thinking about 18 American cities just disappearing. Yeah. Yeah, the whole game changed when you can fly. When you can fly and shoot shit from the sky, that's the game changer. And it all happened all at once.

Fly, shoot things from the sky sky and then almost right after that nuclear bombs it's pretty nutty when you think about that because there was no fucking airport uh or airplane wars just a hundred years ago you know in the early 1900s were there they weren't fucking flying everywhere and dropping bombs on each other they started doing that in the 30s and the 40s that's when like they started getting better at rocketry, and then boom! 47, nuclear bomb, complete game changer. The whole thing takes less than 100 years to go from the airplane being fucking invented

to dropping nuclear bombs on people is 100 years. That's nuts, man. Have you ever tattooed a nuclear missile? I never even thought of that. Actually, yeah, I think I have. I really never even thought of that until just now. That is a crazy number. the invention of the airplane it goes invention of the airplane all the way to nuclear bombs and it's in less than a

hundred years so in essentially one lifetime we go from people stuck on the ground or in boats to someone who can drop a fucking nuclear bomb on your country that's amazing what a fucking weird jump in history that is. That might be the biggest jump in history that's ever been recorded. I never even thought about it. Man, there's nowhere to go, is there? It's only crazy.

Where? Crazy is the only way to go. I'm moving to Finland. Finland? A lot of death metal there. What do you love about Finland? It's easier to go to Alaska, probably. Yeah, but Finland's so much cooler. Alaska's gorgeous, though.

We can make Alaska cool. We just have to have more cool people move up there. You're friends with the singer from HIM, right? Yeah. You're totally into them. Are they from Finland? Yeah. They're Finnish.

It's almost like a satanic love metal band, right? Oh, wow. How would you describe him? It means his infernal majesty. Oh, Jesus Christ. Someone needs to hold that dude down. No, I think it was taken from a good. Hold that down.

Make him take his pills. He's spotting all over my couch. Super poppy metal but like satanic love suicide it's crazy yeah get him to do i like it i actually like it hill sprints yeah maybe a sandbag workout would be good dig a hole for today today i want you to be i want you to be happy you're alive i want you to dig a hole and when you're done, we're going to give you a cold drink. You're going to feel awesome. It's not bad. Why Finland?

Why would you escape to Finland? I love Finland. I used to go there once a year for a long time. If the shit hit the fan in America, is that what you would do? I would go to Canada. No, I was just saying it's like there's not really anywhere to go, really, when you think about it. I think Canada is a move. At least you would find out what the fuck is going on for a little bit maybe a couple years of safety before you had escaped yeah but like let's go back to the siberians like do they even know about it no

and guess what they're just happy they are happy but you wouldn't be happy doing i mean you say you might be adapted but man you would remember the internet you'd remember driving around your badass car listening to your favorite songs when i was on my book tour last year halfway through my house burned down and and it demolished you know just gone i used to live down the street from danny and i remember um i went i went on the rest of the book tour you know it was like uh i think i had like a month or two after and um went through canada and and i just didn't tell anybody just kind of you know hey i'm here and I literally had like what I was wearing and that was it and then when I came back You know I told Kat my the other cat my assistant like I don't really want anything when I get back I'm just gonna live it. I have a

Gallery next door to my tattoo shop. It's like an art gallery and we had like an upstairs area that was for stock you know and like Probably the size of your bathroom or something and like she she went and got like a air mattress from target which i was like oh no it's too much it's too much you know but it was so weird having to or it's too much yeah just it was it was easier just being as simple as possible you know and you don't even want an air mattress you're going well she got it so i got it so then i i slept on an air mattress and uh yeah it was it was was this like an exercise for you like an exercise of letting things go and no i mean i didn't i I got it. So then I slept on an air mattress and yeah, it was, it was,

was this like an exercise for you? Like an exercise of letting things go. And no, I mean, I didn't, I never struggled with it. Like the, from the minute I got the news,

but I mean, I was in a clear place. Even when I say exercise, I don't mean necessarily like a strain, but like a direct path that you chose to take a direct path of a minimalist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I, and I mean, a conscious decision. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I mean, I've done it in other ways too. It's not a matter of depriving myself or punishing myself. I was celibate for a year. Oh, Jesus Christ. What? Hey! Oh my God, blasphemy! But I'm just saying, it's like, as he leaves.

He's going to go beat off. No. Oh, you don't know him. He's crazy. He's quick with it, too. Sell it for a year. He'll be back in before we even need him. Yeah, that's ridiculous.

Why would you do that? I love how when I was at the time, they were like, on purpose? I'm like, what? Well, first of all, I think that's way easier for a woman to do, not just physically, but psychologically, because there's more dickhead dudes and dickhead dudes are dangerous whereas girls that are a pain in the ass if you date them they're not they're very rarely dangerous it's not like the weird feeling of intimidation so much more emotional and annoying they can get emotional that's for sure but it's not a it's not like like

you you've been you beat up or anything like i know women who have been hit by men and then they're done with men for years i mean that that makes sense though to me whereas a guy taking a year off of sex you can't find a nice chick it wasn't about like being reactive like to something like oh i got hurt no it was just more as making a conscious decision at the time imagine if you had just a one year yeast infection that was a mother i don't mother fucker it wouldn't even go out eddie's not even paying attention i know we've lost everybody we lost we lost you totally man no but you know it was just it's just like uh i don't know celibacy bores me yeah he just shuts him off he's like i'm done he just checked out totally he's thinking of his new song he's working on

working on jujitsu moves i was looking at that naughty show thing. I've been looking at that girl's boob this entire time. It's pretty nice, right? It's pretty nice. For a mannequin, it's about as hot as he gets. She's pretty sexy. She's Brian's. All this stuff is Brian's. This has nothing to do with me. I don't want to be

judged by this. He's a silly guy. He's got a lot of weird shit on the wall. Did he really leave because I said that word? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He just has to probably smoke a cigarette or something. He's an odd duck, but we make an interesting combination. That's good. He's a strange fucking dude.

It's hard finding someone that strange. That also is kind of funny and knows how to run things. Oh, nice. So we've got a weird little relationship, me and that guy. Yeah, but going back to the Siberians, they are happy. What about nuclear war? We're going to pass right over that shit. We're done with that one.

Yeah, we're done with that. I think the Siberians, like we were saying, I think they're only happy because they don't know about all the groovy shit. Exactly. They don't know about iPhones. They don't know the iPhone 5 is going to be out in a week. They don't know about that shit. Is it really?

Yeah. They never drove. Yeah, I see you're all excited. You're thinking, I'm going to get my assistant to go get me one. You know, fucking Siberian dudes, they never drove a nice car, never listened to a good stereo. They only think they're happy out there chasing down beaver pils. That shit's ridiculous. I think you'd be way more happy today like in a way higher

peaky or sort of a way but there's a lot of crashes today there's a lot of what does it all mean but then there's like wow it's the most awesome time because we're not ready for that yet it's too much work well it's an amazing amount of work the whole species is gonna have to do it's that and they're also busy you know people have to feed themselves and pay their bills and you get caught up in that sort of a work cycle where you're doing something with your time every day just in order to stay alive and it's real hard

to get on another path once you're on that path because you sort of... Yeah, it's just bad habits I guess, right? It's not even bad habits. It's almost just necessity. If you want to get by in life and you're a person who's, you know, you have a degree and then all of a sudden you have a job and then all of a sudden you have a mortgage and you have a family or whatever the fuck it is that you have. Is it X, Y, or Z? The beginning or is it the full money?

What do you have that's holding you back? But when you get to a certain point where you've accumulated like a mortgage and accumulated a car lease and insurance and all this different shit that you have to pay for constantly, it's very, very hard to break free and get your shit together. It's very hard to do what you're doing right now. You got on the right path. You were on this hell-bent-for-leather thing. It's either going to work or it's not going to work. I love to do this priest. Go ahead. Boom! You just went out there, and it worked.

It worked fantastic and amazing. But the reality is for a lot of people, they got on the wrong track, and then they got to change tracks that's when shit gets hard the key is you got to get on that right track from the get-go like doing repair work on your life no no going back and you can always get under the track i think you think so yeah i think you can always if you're willing to just go for it. But most people are not really financially able to do that. It's too hard. It's too hard if you have obligations.

It would be hard to live a life that was dictated by, I guess, financials. Yeah. It sucks. Nothing ever gets done that way, especially creatively. That's like the worst possible reason you could be creating art is like just thinking, I'm going gonna get paid just just make you know all your illustrations to be about how much money can i make off of this probably wouldn't even work no they come out all clunky and shit and insincere yeah yeah like music

or bad comic book artists right why does he laugh you know i'm talking about you don't have your own microphone comic book artist yeah do you remember when you were a kid and you'd get comic books and every now and then some new idiot was like drawing the hulk and you're like what is this guy doing like the hulk doesn't even look like this i thought it was worse when like they they like remember spider-man when mcfarland used to draw it and it was like really cool and then i guess mcfarland wanted to like leave or whatever and do his own thing so they found somebody that just copied his own style is that uh todd mcfarland the spawn guy yeah yeah yeah he wanted to oh we got to get michael jai white in here man yeah i gotta i think i have his number but let me check it with you yeah make sure it's the same one

i ran into him at a pool hall recently yeah he'd be great on i love that dude and he was spawn if you don't know who that was that movie he. He played Spawn, which is a fucking badass movie. But those Spawn comic books are a perfect example. That's just so outside the box in comparison to the shit that was around just in the 1950s and the 1960s. The really dark storylines and insane artwork. That guy did some wild shit. And then it just went away. Whatever happened to that dude?

Aw. You're so sensitive. I love it. She's going to get sad. Well, I'm sure the guy's rich as fuck. I mean, I think if he's gone away, it's on purpose. I don't think it's at all. That's cool.

Yeah. Do you know who I'm talking about? The guy who made Spawn? Did you ever see the Spawn comic book? Todd McFarlane. See, it's all before your time. No, I know. Do you know who I'm talking about? The guy who made Spawn? Did you ever see the Spawn comic books? Todd McFarlane. See, it's all before your time. No, I know. Do you read comics?

I like Terry and the Pirates. You're in Tony Hawk's video game, aren't you? He has an unlockable character. Yeah. And they gave me an ass because I don't have an ass. And I was like, I remember they sent me like the CGI whatever thing. And it's like because you go in and they do the little scan thing or whatever. And I remember going like, whoa, you guys gave me like a that's good I usually played as your

character because I like playing girl characters for some reason yeah they gave me like my wristband my hair is all rad like it's cool you played me that's awesome it's it's they had that skateboard where you stepped on I didn't know it wasn't my favorite Tony Hawk game but it was that was cool seeing you in that oh man that's awesome. There's a weird emotional connection when you tattoo someone for like you are on them for life. You know, I know like for Eddie, I mean that, that thing is, that's very important to him. He's talked about him. I mean, he tears up when he talks about his grandmother. What is that like for you to have all these people running around there that you have this like intense emotional connection with something that you've created on their body oh man it's awesome i remember one time i was um

driving to work and this guy was crossing the street and i just he's really really tall and i remember he looked like a businessman with a button-up shirt and he's just walking across the street you're like kind of curly hair and i was like staring at him like i don't know what that guy's deal is you You know what I mean? What does he do? I could totally draw him. He had all these interesting facial features. Then I go in to tattoo that day, and he was my appointment.

I tattooed him, and it was the most intense story of living in fear and regret and just making closure with death, which is, I think, one of the harder subjects, I think, for people. And then I remember being done with it and driving back home and seeing him cross the street again to go to wherever his car was parked. And I was like, oh, it's like every person could be that guy. I just always think about that. Especially people who piss me off or annoy me or whatever. I'm always like, oh, you just don't know, know so it's it's a cool connection i think you might be the

crazy link to the other dimension it might be you it might have been your magic that you used on eddie there that's ridiculous you're connected to another of course synchronicity like that yeah all the time that's so bizarre you tattooed you gotta talk into the mic, bro. You covered a tattoo once. You talked about this before in a different interview where you covered a tattoo of a dude on his dick. You know, when a dick tattoo is so funny, because I think when it's true, when it first got on TV, you know, like they always ask you like the first like elementary questions. It's like, what was your first tattoo? What's the weirdest tattoo? And they're always like

pussyfoot around that question. So, have you ever tattooed a weird area? I'm just like, just say it. Butthole? Have you done a butthole? That's very recent. The girls are starting to do the butthole tattoos. No, that's awful. That's awful?

Yeah, I mean that's like sacred ground. No, it's physically, take all the funny stuff i mean that's like sacred ground no it's physically uh you know take all the funny stuff out it's like physically a very unhealthy thing to do like the amount of toxins and whatever anyways maybe what oh so the actual the the more sensitive tissue it'd probably give you hemorrhoids immediately i would imagine you know you're gonna have problems dude and then you know that area is really hard to keep clean for some reason. I would have to go with the Dr. Drew one on this one. Yeah.

I would think Dr. Drew might be right about asshole tattoos. Listen out there, you crazy bitches. If Kat Von D is disgusting with asshole tattoos, do not get an asshole tattoo. That's just attention seeking and there's no art aspect behind that. Well, maybe it's a beautiful job. Maybe it's like some roses in the center of them are all scrunchy and shit. And maybe it's just done to be like the most amazing rose. Like your asshole looks like a rose.

Now for the cock one, did you have to have it hard the whole time when you're tattooing it? You know what I mean? When you talk to a woman, you shouldn't make that jerk off in your face there when you're saying it's hard. I didn't realize that it was all over my face. You were actually doing that. No, I could explain the situation because it sounds so much more perverted than it was.

But there's a guy who had been through some times and had gotten a lot of ghetto gang tattoos and stuff and all homemade guitar string tattoo collection he had and so we went through over the years and redid all of them you know and he had all these brand new tattoos some of them covered and improved or whatever and then I remember I mean we became I become friends friends with all my clients because you spend such intimate like times like it's like three hours of intense we're not talking about like butthole tattoos we're like talking about like you know life and death and stuff you know and or whatever we talk about and um i always i'm always so heavy i hate that um

but uh he was cool and then he came to me very respectfully with his wife and was like you know i have this one tattoo and now that i'm remarried and stuff i'm no longer with linda and like um i was just you know i understand if you don't want to do it it's fine but it's just you know it kind of bothers the new wife so it was a name on the dick the word linda yeah damn linda won whoever linda is no no no no no so like most of the time it just said la no no no no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What did you change it to? No, so he comes. I'm like, yeah, man, it's cool, you know.

And so, like, he comes with his wife. No, he comes with his wife. And so I was like, yeah, you know, like, I'll put up, like, the partitioners, you know, that you see at the hospital and stuff so that others can't watch or whatever. And, no, you don't get an erection during that time. I don't think you, unless you're. You have to spread it out like a butterfly though, like when you're dissecting a butterfly. So I had him lay down and then he whips this. Tremendous thing.

It's so crazy. Like it was like L, Y, N, D, A, apostrophe S. It was like hours and hours.

Oh, apostrophe S? Linda's? Hours and hours of tattooing. I was just basically saying it was quite a large tattoo. It was a large penis. You took your time on it. As well.

Just to clarify, the penis and the tattoo were both large. I mean, it would be like you talking to an OBGYN about, you know... Eight inches? To you, it might have been like talking to an OBGYN. To a dude who's got a girl touching his penis, even under such inauspicious circumstances. I have gloves on and there's like. Covering over.

Please, whatever. And it's not that way. I mean, it's like. Oh, that's so silly. It's always that way. No, it's not. There's not 90% of it. Maybe only 10% that way.

But 10% is that way. That probably got him through. So when you go to your doctor and he touches your wee wee. 20%. My doctor doesn't look like you. If my doctor looked like you and touched my penis, I'm sure I'd have a problem. I might have to beat off

before I got to the office. Stop it. You guys are awful. That's what dudes do. I wouldn't want to think that way. Not every dude does that. Oh my God, you're so crazy. Why don't you go online

and look up doctor porn? Like doctor, the female doctors who make out with the men and have sex with them. Stop. No. I know what you need. You don't need medicine.

You need sugar. Oh, my God. That's so sad. Don't say that. No, it's not sad. It's just reality. There's nothing wrong with that. Oh, reality is very sad.

Well, it's not sad. It's just sad. Dudes would be massively attracted to this idea that a beautiful doctor is going to get intimate with them. I'm not going to get intimate. But even just touching their intimate parts is some sort of a doctor sort of a thing. So what's wrong

with your penis, Johnny? Sorry I brought this up. I apologize. Don't be mad at me, please. All I'm saying is you're a beautiful woman. And if you were a doctor, a certain amount of your patients would most certainly love it if you examine their penis. You know, I don't

think it's that way so much anymore. Mind you, I did that tattoo when I was like, you know, I don't know, like 19 or 20. When you're even hotter. Oh, thanks. Whoa! Everybody's retarded today. Jesus Christ, Eddie. That doesn't help your point.

That doesn't help your point. It was when I was 17. That makes it better. No, I was like drunk back then, and I was totally out of shape versus now. What you're saying is, you're saying she looks worse. No, I'm just, I wasn't saying that. You can never say that to a girl. I wasn't saying that.

I don't care. I apologize. So what did you turn it into? I was trying to be funny. At the time, he just wanted to get. It said Linda's. Did it say apostrophe into? I was trying to be funny. At the time, he just wanted to get... It said Linda's. Did it say apostrophe S? Like Linda's dick?

Wow. This is Linda's. Not anymore. I wonder if Linda's still alive. Fuck yeah, she's alive. She took Griselda Blanco's place in Columbia. Linda's down there running shit. Capping motherfuckers and driving around on a 10 speed.

So what did you turn it into? I think it was just like some tribal design or something. A tribal? But I mean, it was like, you don't have that much work. That's my Maori dick. You guys, stop. Sorry. She did some biomech on that shit. It's crazy. All my work goes

down to this tattoo. I want to get Tower 7 on my dick. No, we're not. Listen, we're definitely not saying that all you were You should have just did the portrait of his new wife On top of that shit With a chainsaw Cutting Linda up

Like a chainsaw hitting Linda And blood splattering all over So it's not Linda's Fuck that bitch Why didn't he opt to get the laser on the penis? I don't know You know what? I don't know

Back then I don't think it was as Stop laser on the penis i don't know you know i don't know back then i don't think it was as i'm like scanning my brain for any other tattoo reference what's worse now a burning laser or needles are you are you like did you have to like pull on it and flatten it like how did you want a butterfly yeah well i don't know no i no. I mean, like, if somebody was sitting, like, if he was sitting here, then I would get dental bibs around all of it, and then I would just, oh, God, this is awful. No, it's not. No, there's no way is it sexual.

Of course. For sure. No, for sure. No, we're not saying that. We're not saying you got off. No, no, no. Did you spit on him before you started? Oh, my God.

The approach. The middle of it. We're just saying. Fuck, man. You guys. It is a very extraordinary tattoo. Did you guys just take your knuckles and do that thing that you guys do? What did he say?

He just said, did you spit on it? Oh. Come on, man. That's hilarious. In the moment, it was just perfect. That's like one of those Daniel Tosh moments. I'm sorry. In the moment, it was perfect.

He's ridiculous. Yeah, look. It certainly was not sexual. sexual i mean it has to be insanely painful you'd have to be like a really sick but then there's a lot of sick fucks who are like really into pain right no i think he was more embarrassed than anything and he's really again like his wife was there and it was a very you know i think he was oh man i would have made sure about him to have sex right before just just in case. Do you think that's Linda's go-to shit? That Linda just, you've got to tattoo my name on your dick. That's the only way this kind of works.

She's got like a headboard with like notches and how many dudes have tattooed her name on their dick. That chick is... What a gangster chick that chick must be. Maybe it was his idea to get her back. Doubt it, doubt it, doubt it. We need to know the story. Do you see that number? You guys are still friends, right? No, I mean, no.

No, don't call that dude up. I'll email him. Hello, you don't know me. But I know about your dick. Just curious. And you don't have to answer. Have you ever been in the middle of tattooing someone and for whatever reason you just told them to get the fuck out of there,

like I can't do you, you're giving me bad energy, you're annoying, you're crying too much? Have you ever had to stop a tattoo? Probably because of stench a couple times, right? No. BO or anything? No. You're like, damn.

Bad wiper. You guys are awful you do have to stop um no i don't know let's see um there was one tattoo that ah fuck these don't sound like interesting stories to me but they probably are um oh yeah um Twice there was two different people that, like, their wife went into labor during their tattoo. One of them was. It's probably because they knew, the wife knew, that you were tattooing the husband. No, it was so awesome.

One of them, I remember, was like Mira Sorvino's husband. Super hot tattoo chick all around. What's my husband doing? No, this is a great story because it was very sweet actually. It was Mira Sorvino's husband and he was getting a pinup girl version of her tattooed

on his leg and then halfway through he got the phone call and we're like, we'll just finish it another day. That's sweet. I thought that was nice. Oh, that is sweet. For sure. It's not that interesting. Has anybody ever come to you with some crazy demonic shit, and you're like, I just don't want to get into this? I mean, I don't do any tattoos that really go against any of my moral.

I mean, the crazy thing is nowadays it's so different than when it used to be. I used to just tattoo a lot of – the people who are getting tattooed by me now are just more serious collectors, so I'm not really dealing with a lot of riffraff or weirdness so yeah but in the past I'm digging deep into the past right now so yeah I mean there's sometimes uh people would come in and wanting to get tattoos that I don't necessarily agree with or like I don't I don't need the money so I don't need to tattoo you if I don't feel good about it you know if it's something creepy yeah even though it is my gift to the person it's also a collaborative experience so I have to feel good about it, you know? If it's something creepy. Yeah, even though it is my gift to the person,

it's also a collaborative experience, so I have to feel good about it. So it also goes for, like, things that I don't think I'm good at. You know, there's certain things that I'm just not good at. Because I would bet that you would be really good if you wanted to do, like, some Paul Booth-type shit. Oh, I like all, like, the evil stuff. Heavy, evil shit.

I like stuff like that. You do that kind of stuff? I mean, yeah, I like just all kinds of art, you know? I mean, I think some of the creepiest stuff call like the evil stuff evil shit i like stuff like that you do that kind of i mean yeah i i like just all kinds of art you know i mean i think some of the creepiest stuff is a lot of like the old catholic artwork and it's the reason that it's so striking and it's so um you know it it affects and moves people's because there's like it's very it gives you fear it's amazing it's powerful so i love that stuff um you know i wear a lot of crosses and stuff. And it may not be for the meanings that most people assume it would be.

I just like what crosses look like. A friend of mine went to Italy. And while he was there, he took a photo of the ceiling of some religious place. That the outside edge of the photo, the center is heaven. It's like all these angels. And the outside edge is all these demons. And they're shoving like pitchforks up dudes asses it's crazy back then really intense you look at like all the hieronymus bosch stuff i mean that's just like i think painted in the 15 1600s isn't

like the the uh danish i think he was um i mean that shit was so ahead of its time oh yeah it's crazy scary and back then i mean they really believed that, too. I mean, when you were drawing those paintings of the demons skewering dudes in their assholes, like, people really thought that that was going to happen to you if you died and you went to hell. Well, I think Caravaggio is one of my favorites, you know, from that era. I think he was one of the first more influential painters of the time that started doing renditions of biblical stories and stuff. But painting like Jesus and painting Jesus more in like a very human like fashion. So it was even more real.

Do you know what I mean? It wasn't like this, you know, golden like aura and rays and wings and all that stuff. It's like he made him look like you and i and so you would see like crucifixion pieces and stuff that i mean you feel it it's like it's it's fucked up when you look at like all the old crucifixion images crucifixions are crazy just to begin with straight up it's a crazy way to kill somebody i mean you just nail it around there yeah it's nuts i mean but but in the old pictures he was always like in pretty good shape except for the the holes in his arms i mean he wasn't all fucked up he was he was seven percent body fat that's not what i meant what i meant was he was okay he wasn't all fucked up like the mel

gibson movie yeah but you like the interpretation of it now it's like if you go to see that mel gibson movie if that's our version of what would have happened when he, I mean, that was horrific. I mean, that was really scary shit. Like the, the, the beatings that they did to him and the, they had to have that fake body that was like bleeding on all these

different areas. I mean, it was like a fake robot. All like the medieval torture devices that have been made. I mean, it's crazy that people even like invented or thought of things that, you know, the racks and just iron maidens,

all that horrifying cat piano. Have you ever seen that? What racks and just iron maidens horrifying piano have you ever seen that what pictures of the cat piano they used to have this is not only like 100 years ago no where they had like a bunch of cats lined up and had these things that would poke the cat and make them meow and you played the piano oh it's so sad it was a cat well yeah they didn't give a fuck about cats back then. The mortality rate for people. I do too. I love my cat more if she would stop peeing in my fucking house. How many cats do you have?

I only have one. I'm not a crazy cat lady. I just love my cat. Do you want another one? Is it hairless? Because I have a hairless cat and they get kind of... It's the opposite. He's got full hair. Your cat would just kick his cat's ass all the time.

His cat's a fluff ball. Aw, that's cute. I can't stop my cat from peeing in my fucking house. She just likes to not pee where the litter box is. This must be the most boring interview for you guys talking about... Why? Well, I don't know. No, we always go there. What do you guys talk about? If I wasn't here,

what would you be talking about? We might be talking about this. Seriously. No, it's not boring to us. You're not boring at all. Don't even say that. That's not what it is. There's a cat clock right there. We talk about what it is. There's a cat clock right there. We talk about anything and everything. There's a cat clock. Yeah, the fucking thing goes off every hour. It meows.

Yeah, it ruins the whole podcast. In ten minutes, you're going to hear meow, meow, and you're going to go, what the fuck? There's cats all over the desk. Clearly, the guy's obsessed with cats. Oh, yeah, you have a cat. There's something wrong with him. I don't know what it is. I just like the lucky cat. I don't know what the fuck's wrong with him, but he's okay.

Do you ever do lucky cat tattoos? I've done one, yeah, before. A couple times back in the day yeah that's cool what did uh you first start off practicing on jews pigskin no i just tattooed people but see i was no no no i was underage so i had a plethora of friends that were underage and couldn't get tattoos so they were just oh wow so you tattooed them where'd you get the needles um well at the time i had a friend that believed in me and who worked at a shop i mean you know i was this was in the ghetto in san bernardino so it's like things were a lot different than they are now and so like my first shop that i worked at i remember uh it was called sin city tattoo at the time it was like on highland and east street which is like

such a really gnarly part out there i don't know if it cleaned up, but I know there's a jail right down the street. That's never good. Yeah, there's like people getting robbed all the time except us because I think we were tattooing all the thieves and stuff. And back then, like the wars between tattoo shops were so different and it was all bikers. My boss, come to think of it, probably wasn't even his real name. I mean, I don't know.

He was gnarly. there was wars between tattoo shops oh yeah like if you opened up a shop in a mile radius you would get i mean we i remember we'd get shot at um what is it called something cocktails with the fire and you try molotov yeah we get those through the window really oh yeah it was crazy just it's just it was while you guys were working this would happen or this is happening all the time i mean i think my first yeah i mean it was pretty brutal there's reasons for my i feel bad for my parents because they're like oh my god they had to like imagine all the things wow and i was 16 when i first got into that shop and i remember going hey man i'm underage and he's like he looked at my shitty portfolio of polaroids that were blurry and crappy and he was like and then i showed him my drawings and he goes, oh, okay, yeah,

you could do it. And he used to say, you're going to fly far, far away. I'm like, no, I'm going to stay here forever. Like, see you later, San Bernardino. Wow. You sold them down the river? No, no, no. It was such a rough place to, you know,

it was just a rough place for a 16-year-old girl to be at but um stem burned you know it's rough for your 60 yeah totally it's rough for everybody that's a that's a tricky area yeah and i lived right down the street at this with the prostitute at the time it was rough you know i mean she it was awful we buddies no no i met her because i had been working at a movie theater before that passing out popcorn and like she worked there and i needed a place to stay next to the shop and so um i would pretty much take care of her kids while she would go in and out of her drug comatose so sad it was very sad wow really hard but i i just knew that if i

could be close to the shop i could tattoo every day in practice and i would literally go in and open the shop and stay till midnight like you know it was like 11 to midnight every day i tattooed so much back then how long did it take before you were comfortable with the medium of skin of like moving it around pulling it to manipulate it tattooing yeah yeah i was comfortable from the beginning but that was because when i was tattooing unprofessionally outside of a shop not i didn't know what i was doing so there was no bar to i was like oh cool you want to get a misfit skull that's awesome awesome. And like, I would just tattoo it and it'd be like, yeah, it was like eight hours later. But then once I got to my first shop, I had to unlearn a lot of things. And I was like, what?

There's more than one kind of tattoo machine and different needles and the cleanliness and the sterility aspect of it, all the important stuff. And so I'm just relearning it. But looking back, you know, it was actually awesome that I was brought up in that ghetto upbringing because it definitely is the reason why I tattoo the style that I do because, you know, gangsters get cool tattoos. They all get all the fine line black and gray stuff. And I did a lot of names and memory ofs and all that stuff

and old English lettering and lots of heinas and gestures and all this shit. I wanted to be a comic book artist when I was a kid. You did? Yeah, I drew a lot of different wild shit. One of the things that I did is I drew on my friends. I would just draw on them. I would draw fake tattoos on them. Really intense, detailed fake tattoos that would take hours.

And I did that because I was thinking about getting a tattoo. Do you still draw? Oh, yeah, yeah. I still draw all the time. I want to see it yeah i'll show you i'll send you some shit but my best stuff was when i did it every day and that's when i was in high school when i was in high but i had one cunty teacher in high school was an art teacher it was just so negative yeah i didn't want to have anything to do with art anymore i was like this guy's just a downer he just was always negative i failed my art classes in school but a lot of it's just because I was too punk rock to follow instructions. But it's like

I want to draw things the way they are. I mean, yeah, let's learn about the history of fucking cubism or whatever the fuck. But when it comes to drawing stuff, I don't want to do two-point perspective. I just want to do it as it is. And I'd rather draw this stapler as it is versus You want to do what you want to do.

Yeah, you can't teach inspiration. like, you know what I mean? Right. It's like, you can teach technique, but anyways, I fail, I would fail all these classes, and I'm like, ah, I don't need this shit. Yeah, it's like, you have an idea that you want to get out, you have your expression that you want to get out, and the problem is when someone says, no, I don't want you to get that out, I want you to work on that. It's like, you have these brief moments where these doors are open where this creativity wants to run through and when

you're sitting there I mean in one sense it's good to be disciplined it's good to be regimented and it's good to have good fundamentals but it's also good to just let it go when you want to let it go like you could learn all those things in your own time as far as like perspective and I think there are granted I think there are some good art teachers out there but I think that would be such a tricky thing to do because it's such a personal thing too you know so yeah it would require a person that was well you know doug stanhope and i uh we've talked about teaching comedy classes that you could never first of all you could never charge like there's a lot of people that have like these comedy classes where you're you know you they

charge this ridiculous amount of money you go through all this crazy bullshit with them and they pretend to turn you into a comedian. And we're like, it should be free. You can't charge. And you really can't give them any fucking advice because there's almost nothing you can tell them. I mean, that should be what the comedy class is. You know what? One of the last comedy shows I came to was right here.

Oh, really? Yeah. We're here all the time. As a matter of fact, we're here Wednesday night. It was Joey Diaz, Brian Callen, Duncan Trussell, and me. Awesome. And maybe Brian, if you can come on, sweetie. It's a long story, deep story.

Okay. We won't go into that. But, yeah, it's an awesome place. The Ice House Comedy Club has been around forever. It's been here 1961, I think. That's when it first was opened. Yeah, it's like 50 years. Yeah.

I did my first set here in 94. Really? Yeah, when I first moved here in 94 really yeah when i first moved here from new york comedy's hard man i there's like there's a whole it is and it isn't well i mean i just think it's like it's it's not anybody could just go up there and tell a story i mean some people are really good storytellers but i think there's like a whole thing to it you know well you know how uh for you when you sit down and you draw you know you're the you know it's like you know you know you know how to fucking draw you you sit down and you draw, you know, you're the, you know, it's like, you know, you know, you know how to fucking draw. You've been doing it forever.

But if you had never done it before or practice it before, really forced your hand to move in the way that you want it to, in order to create this image, it'd be almost alien, almost impossible for a lot of people. They look at the artwork that you do and it's almost incomprehensible to wrap their head around how someone could recreate something like that. How can you do that? How can you do that? How can you do that? It's the same thing with comedy.

You do it enough times. Or jujitsu. Or music. You do it enough times and it just becomes you. It becomes you. But yeah, it's hard to get there. But not really. I mean, it is and it isn't.

It's like Joey Diaz said it best. He said, comedy is the hardest, easiest thing you'll ever do. Because it's fucking really hard. It's easy if you're good at it. Yeah, to get it to where it's easy. I just can't imagine drawing without an eraser for a tattoo artist. That just seems to me like the scariest thing in the world. Because I've never drawn something that I didn't erase something on or change or wish I did something different.

And is there times when you're tattooing and you're like, shit, I have to now work around this. Well, you also got to think about the time you're putting in as opposed to the time she's putting in. I mean, she's doing like, you know, you're probably tattooing eight, like shit I have to now work around this well you also gotta think about the time you're putting as opposed to the time she's putting in I mean she's doing like you know you're probably tattooing 8-10 hours a day right?

how many hours a day are you doing this? nowadays? or were you? well when I first started oh yeah I mean it was so many hours I didn't have a day off

until my first days off I started like 3 or 4 years ago I started taking Sundays off wow did you ever have any idea that you could have some sort of reality show type success like this? No, I haven't watched TV.

I mean, but was there any idea that you could have this kind of success? I mean, did you ever think that, did you have this in your head? No, I just see like things and like I see things differently. I don't know. I just see things like, oh, there's an opportunity. Or, oh, that, you can make this out of that. And I think a lot of people maybe just blind themselves to that. So I don't know. I just see things like, oh, there's an opportunity. Or, oh, you can make this out of that. And I think a lot of people maybe just blind themselves to that. So I don't know.

I never wanted that. It's not. I actually was. But it didn't exist before. It didn't exist. Celebrity tattooists didn't exist. I mean, the Ed Hardy type dudes. There was a few names.

Yeah, it's not the same. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Of course, I never in a million years imagined this stuff. I mean, if you knew where I I was born and how, what I, you know, where I come from, it's like totally different than, it's the opposite of this stuff, you know, but I don't know. It's not, I don't know. I'm not that impressed by that stuff. It's cool. It's cool. And I'm very appreciative. It's like awesome. Like, oh, I get to do more of this stuff, you know, but. Well, when I talk about it, I'm not saying it in terms of like your common perception of how people view success and look at her. She's on TV. It's not that.

What I mean is how receptive people are and how much resonance your work is having on people. Never in a million years would I imagine that. Yeah. I mean, I was like the weird girl or whatever. The fact that maybe that's why I'm bad at compliments and stuff. I'm just not compliments and stuff, you know, so it's like, I'm just not used to that still. Yeah, that's gotta be kind of awkward, right? But it's a really fascinating thing you've done.

But now that I'm not, like, how he thinks I used to be, I guess it's like... Like what? Oh, that's when you were hotter back then. What do you think? Oh, see, dude, I told you. She's still riding on that. We let that joke fly over our heads, but She's still riding on that. We let that joke fly over our heads,

but she's still holding on to it, man. That was actually a compliment. It's like a hot lava rock in her arms burning her soul. No, no way. By the way, look how beautiful her shoes look today, Joe. Why? Do you like shoes or something? I'm just kidding. I sort of came from Disneyland, so I'm like, those are pretty cool. There's such a stigma.

I'm guilty of it, too. Wait, wait, do you like shoes or something? No, no. Oh, I'm not a freak. I love shoes. I'm a normal guy. You know, usually growing up, you think tattoos, like for me, tattoos, look, my uncles had tattoos that, you know, I'm sure that influenced me.

But, you know, generally girls that got tattoos tattoos they generally weren't hot right generally yeah and i can imagine the the the amount of guys that were thought like damn she's so hot she's ruining herself with the tattoos or something and now look at her now you know what i mean most guys wouldn't think that though that's an illusion that girls have, I think. You know, most guys. You'd be amazed at how little we give a fuck about a lot of shit that you have. I think it's just more a different generation, that's all. Guys are into body shapes. You change the perception single-handedly, though.

Oh, yeah, without a doubt, you definitely threw a monkey wrench into the whole idea of what's hot. And there was one movie. Because you took it deep. There was a movie with Will Ferrell, I think. It wasn't like an extreme comedy but the love interest and they never really addressed it in the movie

had a sleeve you know what I'm talking about right the love interest had a sleeve and I think it was fake or whatever but they never talked about it

she was just a chick who worked at a bakery and Will Ferrell I think that's what it was like fell in love with her or whatever and that never existed

yeah and all the movie offers I've ever gotten are like hooker drug dealer, vampire, what else? Zombie.

Random goth chick. Yeah, it's never. Club scene. The cute chick that dates Will Ferrell or whatever. That's funny. Yeah, it's weird how the perception of what tattoos are over the last just couple of decades. Like when I was a kid, no one had sleeves my my friend's dad's

never had sleeves you know that's weird but then you know today it's so common it's i mean what how much more common is our tattoos today than when we were kids huge huge and you got to talk into the thing you know victor a really good friend of ours, has a son. His name is Tori. And Victor has sleeves. He has a lot of tattoos. And his son is 11 or 12 now. And the last time I hung out with him, his son was drawing on himself.

For the whole night, he had just marked. He felt really cool because he was like his dad. So that would be, for sure, he's going to get tattoos. It just seems like he is. Maybe. Kids are always more open-minded and stuff because they're not like tainted by like but he would he would get the tattoos because he thought it was cool because his dad because him and his dad have an amazing relationship there's there's there's no lack of love in that kid's life yeah from what you know i'm just kidding whoa no shit she just hit you with the real son yeah it is true though

his his dad's awesome oh yeah victor's great, he's a sweetheart of a guy. Yeah, that kid probably, well, it's a weird rite of passage thing, too, for a young man. It's like when some young kids want to smoke. You know, they're not around their parents. They want to have that cigarette so they can pretend to be an adult. If they have friends that smoke, like older friends or something. Yeah, that. Or if they see their parents do it and they sneak them out and they get them together.

That's what I did when I was a kid. We'd sneak out booze. Saw our parents drinking, so I'd find booze in my parents' house and sneak it out into the woods. And we'd do it because we'd pretend to be like adults. It's not really like we wanted to get drunk. We're only like 11.

Kids do that. What the hell's wrong with me man my parents were so square and like it sounds like your parents are just super disciplined yes where did i get it from maybe it's just a reaction to that the fact that you had to practice all the time and you were very very regimented and disciplined and and you just became a a wild sort of thing because of that because of the fact that you were so boxed in by rigid sort of... But I wasn't wild. I mean, I looked crazy,

but I just loved punk rock. It's probably just music, the influence of music, I think it was. I was like, there's something, there's more out there. Yeah, if you're totally into punk, you're going to get some tattoos.

Eventually. You're going to get something. Something. Yeah. If you're really into punk. That black flag thing, you might get that. I just barely got those bars bad boy like this last month i was like can't believe i haven't the black flag bars yeah oh really you just got them oh that's cool yeah

that's barely like oh my god i forgot that one shit no i was like how did i not have that already do you uh i mean you said you covered up some that were on your left arm are you done covering them or do you look at your I have like a few that like one on my leg that I started lasering would hurt so much and also I just again time consumption it's harder for me to get tattooed because I'm busy either doing them or doing

all the other stuff I do so it's like but yeah there's a few that I think I would I mean just for the sake of making more room or something like making more room maybe the spin doctors will become popular again do you have any bands I mean, just for the sake of making more room or something. Making more room. Isn't that crazy, though? Maybe the spin doctors will become popular again. Do you have any bands that are just totally whacked that are tattooed on you?

No, I only listen to rad music. But I mean, at one point in time, you loved them, and now you're like, I can't believe I tattooed those guys on me. I think I've always liked rad music. Always. I've always been cool. You've always had good taste. So with the ones that you're thinking about lasering off,

you just have some ideas and you need some space for it. No, I mean, there's just some that, like, I don't have regrets. Like, I could live with them or without them, you know? But I think, like, it's not, I don't know. Like, I haven't had that many boyfriends in my entire life, you know, because I'm always a long time. Cue the violin, Brian. No.

Do you have the violin? No, I'm just saying. No, you've got to be quicker with that, Brian. Yeah, you've got to be ready with that violin. Oh, sound effects? That's terrible violin. No, but, you know, like I've gotten tattoos for... Maybe the Hulk music.

The Hulk, yeah. The Hulk walk away music. Oh, that's what it was? Wow, that's a terrible... You know, the end of the... Yeah. Sorry. I'm just hearing you guys i'm sorry so you don't have you haven't had that many boyfriends yeah and i mean i think i've gotten like some tattoos for

um whatever those relationships in the past and like my first tattoo was a j and whatever and i still love it but i think there's like two portraits i'd like to get lasered off you it seems like for you i mean correct me if i'm wrong with that music but it seems like to me at least if i had to guess it's probably very difficult for you to enter into a relationship because you seem to be like one of those all-in sort of girls like you fall in love with someone and yeah all or nothing yeah yeah so you're ready right away all in all or nothing. Yeah. Yeah. So you're ready right away, all in, all or nothing. And then it doesn't work. It's nothing.

And then it's like, it's hard to make that. It's hard to pull that trigger. What do you mean? It's hard to pull that all or nothing trigger. I don't know any other way. That's what I'm saying. I mean, it seems that that's your style. Yeah.

Is that bad? No. No. But it's hard. It's not bad. Look, if you find the right person. No, but it's hard. It's not bad. I just think it's hard to make a connection with people that are true to themselves. Most of the time, people, when you meet them, they're putting out a perception of themselves as how they would like to be seen. So you're already going through two layers right there of what the person really is.

Or sometimes they might even be bullshitting themselves how they'd like to be. what the person really is or sometimes they might even be bullshitting themselves of course like to be yeah yeah so like whereas i'm not by any means perfect but i pretty much like i talk a lot i talk about the same stuff like this is the same conversation i'd have with like my homie it's like you know i mean like it's kind of what you see is what you get you know and i've only met very few people that are that way and and so i think that oftentimes you tend to fall in love with this perception versus the person and so in my my case, sometimes I feel like it tends to be intense in the beginnings, and then I continue being on fire, and then maybe it's not so much that way. But I'm also a very emotional person.

I'm like very, you know, to the bitter end. Well, sometimes people can bullshit you for quite a long time before you really get used to what they're really like. Yeah, yeah, totally. Three or four months in, you're like, what am I doing here? like three four months is so short of a time i think it is a short amount of time yeah it is but you could find out everything about someone in three or four months of constantly being with them they can only hide their character for so long which is i think but i always wonder about like dudes like paul mccartney paul mccartney's a bad motherfucker

but then you'd hear that ex-wife talk about him You ever heard of the woman who had lost her leg in a motorcycle accident? No She's demonic I mean, the way that lady would talk about Paul McCartney Was like the most terrifying thing What did she say? She was ridiculous I don't want to hear about that stuff

Yeah, you don't want to hear it I'm like, what did she say? Are you kidding? Super negative People want to hear Super negative about if anything ever happened to her She has information hidden Secret secret places about him. I'm doing the best to protect my husband.

She was just a crazy, evil person who wanted stacks of cash from him. And his dumb ass didn't get a prenuptial. And he got roped in by a woman pretending to be something she wasn't. And then once he had a kid with her, she just turned on the hooks and fucking ripped her chest open and a monster flew out. And that was her. And that was all the interviews after that. You would listen to the interviews and you go how did he not see this coming man how did he not know that he was with a crazy person sometimes you want to believe in

i think people's ability to be something you know yeah for sure also he came out of a long-term relationship with linda mccartney who was supposed to be an amazing person like a really nice sweet woman by all accounts they got along great so he was probably his ideas of what relationships were like he really thought that's what you did you find someone you're just nice to them they're nice to you and this is just the way she really is he didn't even look for all the clues of craziness

maybe I mean who knows you know I mean I always think it's like unless you're in it you really don't know what's going on you know and I mean right that's why he speculates it's fun and he talks shit at the same time it's great it's good times speculating and talking shit on how paul mccartney got roped in yeah i don't know so you haven't had that many boyfriends because of that because no no no no i just i know i think i haven't had that many boys because i'm always in long-term relationships i think that's what it is what he's like so you haven't had any boyfriends

damn man you make me sound all creepy. No. When did he come up with that? I don't know. I didn't think that. No, I don't know. I didn't think that. Thank you, Brian.

Thanks for having my back, homie. No. But no. So anyways. Now the music needs to go on. I know. Like, pow, chicka, pow, pow. Girl getting cum on her tattoo again.

No. It's a really important story. Have you ever been to the off-garden? That is the most ridiculous shit ever. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, love is a funny thing. It's hard as fuck. But you gotta find the right person. That's what it is. I mean, the right person for you might

not be the right person for somebody else. And finding that perfect interaction with people, it's almost impossible. It's so hard. It's so hard to line up especially for a chick like you because you have to have some like some serious bad motherfucker you can't just have like some regular dude you know i think it's all about the heart really to be honest with you when it comes to like the the amount of like solidness that i that i guess i yeah but for a

dude to not be tweaked by you being all hot and famous covered in tattoos and all wild crazy famous tattoo lady that's a tough one for a guy you gotta obstacle you need like a braveheart dude yeah you know some maori warrior type character you know it's like it just seems like i think that i think i would just want to be with somebody who who can get it you know and like i could relate to or understand it's a little chubby and it's a comic or something. He's putting himself out there. That's what he's doing. That's my creepiness.

I like intelligence. Yeah, women like Jennifer Lopez, she's doomed to a life of betas. She's going to have to date these beta men and buy them cars and they'll be younger than her. And that's it. That's just the way it goes from now on. There's just no...

To be a badder motherfucker than jennifer lopez good luck good luck fella who the fuck is is there like this is what you got like brad pitt and a couple other dudes the only people who can date her her dating pool is down to like five people and most of them are married already it's like good luck but she's got to go the other way i think you're gonna have to go that way too you're gonna have to get some beta man-servant type dudes. No, I couldn't handle that. I'm telling you, that's why I want to bring Brian into your life. This shit would be perfect.

He would worship you. He would set up your website. He'd set up your website. Are you on a podcast? He could really spice up your Twitter background. Right. He could make shit happen. That's cute.

No. Yeah, no, I don't know. That's funny shit. Hey, it's the fucking, that's the big, I mean, if there is one dilemma that people find in life that's most prevalent in our society, it's finding the right person. It's like probably the biggest dilemma that anybody ever faces. When you're growing up, especially, you're always like, man, if I could just find the right girl,

if I could just find the right guy. For everybody, that's like, that's the number one dilemma. Well, yeah, well, like, it's more just like working on yourself first and then you put yourself in a position, you know what I mean? Because I know that like in the past

where, you know, it's kind of like the hippie stuff we were talking about earlier. It's like, you know, water seeking its know that like in the past where you know it's kind of like the hippie stuff we're talking about earlier it's like you know water seeking its own level and um i feel like like i look back at like my last you know relationship that was a an awful mess it was like a part of me feels like oh my god i got duped or something but then another part of me is like i created this to a certain degree too if it's like if if there's like there's red flags that I failed to see because I wanted to believe that it was something else. And people do that all the time. So it's more like,

okay, well at the end of the day, like what's wrong with me? You know what I mean? Like what, what was my part in it? What could I have done to not, you know,

obviously that does not discredit people's like shitty behavior. You know, obviously some people suck and stuff and some people are really good liars and whatever. like i think uh but you have to grow as well yeah i think it's i think it's more important to put yourself in a situation where you can be receptive to a healthy relationship like you know when i was depressed i like kind of gravitated towards other people that were also sad and and that doesn't help you know what i mean so i think as far as like what you're saying is like finding somebody at a level or whatever yeah there's that nice understand help, you know what I mean? So I think as far as like what you're saying is like finding somebody at a level or whatever, yeah, there's that nice understandability.

Like, you know, I can talk about things that bug me that may not bug like a regular person or whatever, but it's more like the connection of the mind, you know? I want to be inspired by somebody who's equally as driven and equally like wanting to create and like that shit drives me crazy, like when someone's into it, you know? Whether you're a busboy or a fucking famous musician. Yeah, what I'm saying is you're fucked. You're never going to find a dude like that shit drives me crazy. Like when someone's into it, you know, whether you're a busboy or a fucking famous musician.

Yeah, what I'm saying is you're fucked. You're never going to find a dude like that. Yeah, so I read poetry and then why do you think... You know, the crazy thing is... I said the C word earlier, Jesus. Did you really? How dare you? Anybody dating like a Jessica Alba, that dude has to deal with the fact that

she's really good friends with a lot of A-list celebrities, right? So that's what's running through her head. This is the Siberia thing because it's like all those things are mentally generated ideas of what's important or what's good. Like, I don't see it that way. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not saying I could fall in love with anybody, but like, if it's your mind or your soul, whatever you want to call it, like, I could fall in love with that.

It really does not have to do with what the world's perception of you is. Yeah, you say that, but you're going to find out how much that gardener makes and be like, bitch, you can't even take me out to dinner. What the fuck kind of relationship

we got going on here? Nah, it's not that way. Most of the time, I have, like, issues with dudes paying for my stuff. Do you really? Yeah, I think it's probably because I was,

my own set of issues is like, you know, I'm not a feminist or, like, I don't consider myself anything, but, like, I think, you know, just growing up poor, I'm always like, oh, I can do it myself. Don't open the door for me. Yeah, no, that makes sense. I would hate to be a girl and have dudes buy me dinner and then expect something from me.

No, if it's a sincere gift, it's such a difference, you know. But I also like, I don't know. Yeah. You're going to be single for a long time, kid. It's not going to work out. Maybe, maybe not. I'd be downer, damn. I'm just saying.

I don't know, I don't know. You're too much of a bad motherfucker. It's really going to be hard. There's some bad motherfuckers out there. You know how many rock star friends she's like really good, close to? Yeah, you get those guys alone, they all fall apart. Yeah, but...

No, that would intimidate some guys, though. Guys would be like, damn, she's best friends with him, him, him. That would be the saddest things if you're like really into a rock star and then you started dating him and he was just a whiny bitch. You'd be like,

really, man? You stopped liking the music. I thought your fucking music was awesome. Imagine if you started dating Mick Jagger and just found out he's a cunt. Just Mick Jagger's

a fucking dumb cunt. You're like, what? God damn it. That has to be the hardest for a girl. Date a rock star and find out he's a dork.

That would be the hardest shit ever. Breaking up with a rock star. Mick Jagger. That would crush the rock would be the hardest shit ever. Breaking up with a rock star. Mick Jagger. That would crush the rock star. Fuck yeah, man. That would crush him. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, that would be devastating. Rock stars don't get broken up with. They do, though. They get dumped. Yeah. Especially in this day and age. You know, I think in the protected days of the 60s and the 70s, I read some shit about Hendrix, man.

I got so bummed out because I'm a huge Hendrix fan. And I was reading an excer expert excerpt from uh this uh book about him and one of them was like about jimmy hendrix beating the shit out of his girlfriend they're like jimmy hendrix would just smack around but again we weren't there that's the thing it's true you know you're right standing up for woman beaters i like it no no no no no great culture powerful jamie kilstein no just because i don't know no no you're absolutely right you're the guy was a band member he could have been a jealous bitch he's the guys in the band with one of the greatest fucking guitar in his coffee yeah please that's what he likes a little acid acid in his coffee. No. But, I mean, who knows what really happened. But reading about that, I was like, wow, that's so, like, you read, like, some tweets that,

like, Chris Brown makes, and he's a fucking moron. He makes these tweets, and everybody hates him, and they go after him, and then he deletes these tweets. What does he say? Just really stupid shit about, oh, he's, you know, after the whole Rihanna thing, he would, like, get in arguments with people about him beating up women. He's a moron. So there were really gross kind of tweets.

But that didn't exist in the Led Zeppelin days. There was no Twitter. There was no internet. If they had a podcast or an internet radio show where we got to hear them argue about chicks on the road, and you'd be like, oh, you guys are gross. That would suck. That would suck. It's like the mystery was so much better than, you know,

it's like Robert Plant, the mystery of Robert Plant. I remember growing up being a huge Zeppelin fan. I mean, I barely knew ten words that Robert Plant said in an interview. You know? I don't think I heard any interviews. I just knew. I just knew Black Dog was the shit. I just knew. Whole Lotta Love was like

the greatest song in the history of the world. That's all I knew. I didn't know anything about Robert Plant. He might be annoying as fuck. Imagine you've dated Robert Plant. He just turns out to be a total prima donna. Just annoying and stupid and always insecure. wants everybody to kiss his ass like fuck really damn it's like when mel gibson was screaming at that ex-girlfriend

shut up and blow me and he's like yelling maybe she was talking so much i'm sure she was i'm sure she was but it was like We never got a chance To see someone So human before That was like A fucking Mel Gibson I mean he was Braveheart And then all of a sudden

He's screaming To some scammer Some Russian scammer chick Who's robbing him And recording all Of his phone calls Shut up And blow me

And you're like Wow Like this is Mel Gibson, man. This is the Lethal Weapon dude. What the fuck? It actually kind of just liked that character in Lethal Weapon. Wasn't he like a crazy... Yeah, but he was kind.

He was crazy, but kind to women. What was wrong with the crazy? What was wrong with the crazy, first of all, was he was scary as fuck to a woman who had his child. He couldn't even keep it together to this woman who had his child. That was the scariest thing. It's like he had a baby with this person.

She's watching his baby, and he's fucking screaming bloody murder at her. He's a scary dude, you know? Didn't that freak you out, the Mel Gibson shit? No, I don't even know nothing about it. You don't give a fuck about Mel Gibson. No, no, I just, it's like, I don't know. You didn't hear that thing when it was in the news? No, I really don't even know nothing about it. You don't give a fuck about Mel Gibson. No, no. I just, it's like, I don't know. You didn't hear that thing when it was in the news? No, I really don't watch television.

I like knowing the human side of people. I love reality shows. I actually do. I like Mob Wives and Mama Drama. Forget about it. Watch Mama Drama. Mob Wives. Is Mama Drama the one with the little girl?

Mama Drama is, they take six sets of mothers and daughters like that party together they're like 43 and 22 51 and they put six couples half of them black half of them white in a penthouse in vegas and they get drunk every day it's hysterical wow it's great it's genius yeah there's some fun in reality shows but you know it's it's it's hysterical. Wow. It's great. It's genius. Yeah, there's some fun in reality shows but you know it's really like mindless distraction. That's the problem.

You don't get anything out of it. Sometimes you need that. Sometimes you need to Do you like that? I like not thinking about shit and watching South Park or watching some mind I want to be mindless.

It's like meditation. Hmm. I don't mind mindlessness if it's in the form of comedy like South Park type shit. It's nice knowing how people really are. Like, holy shit, Mob Lives in the Chicago season? People aren't really like that.

They're not? No, I mean, I think you're putting a hyper, it's such a, that situation is not real. Yeah, they put the alcohol, they make them live together. It's edited and produced. I totally believe that. It's not really. However, there really are people that are acting like that on camera. And that's what's fascinating.

I get that. Yeah. I love it. It definitely doesn't inspire anything. I TiVo that shit. Some days when Mob Wives comes out, are you kidding? It's so stupid. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I watched the Real Housewives of Miami ad the other

day, just the ad. And I cringed and I just grabbed the remote control and shut it off quick. Like just thinking that these women could enter into my life somehow or another through me watching them on TV. That somehow or another they could make their way into my life and be annoying and yapping at me. And they were hitting each other and screaming at each other. You know, in Miami, you got to do this and you got to do that.

Oh, come on. I don't watch that show. Just I don't watch all reality shows. Just a couple. But there's got to be fighting and violence. If there's not fighting, I don't want to do that. Come on. I don't watch that show. I don't watch all reality shows, just a couple. There's got to be fighting and violence. If there's not fighting, I don't want to watch it. Is that a weird position for you to be in a reality show? You've got a very different sort of a reality show

because it's obviously a reality show about your artwork. I mean, it's about your expression. It's about your skill. Originally, we had a docuseries. It was a very formatted show. The premise was like you would learn the story behind each of the tattoos and the interaction between tattooer and client. And then that was 80% of the show, and then 20% of it was our own personal life stories that were somehow connected to tattooing.

And then as the show went on, I can't believe we were on for so long. How many seasons were you on for it's it's it's weird because uh contractually it's different it's different we're basically on for let's see 22 uh seven years six or seven years wow that's incredible yeah well it's a great premise for a show yeah but then it's so many stories warping into more the it flips so it's like 20 art for a show. Yeah, but then it started warping into more. It flipped, so it's like 20% art and 80% drama. And most of it was produced, hence how that girl got on the show, which I don't know her. It was fake. Yeah, well, why do that?

See, that's Hollywood idiots. Because I think, personally, first of all, I'm a fan of tattoos and art. Yeah, of course. And just having a show where it was just you produce it you dictate what's going on just about tattoos and art that seems like you could do that though yeah and people would enjoy it and it would be pure i mean i would watch a time lapse of oh my god that's old footage why shouldn't it why shouldn't you do it that way i mean it seems like someone would be an idiot to try to do it any way other than your personality why would they

not well you know i think sadly it's the way... It's the demand. You know what I mean? But it's not the demand. It is the demand because what it is, it's like it's all based on money and numbers for the network. So whatever situations and drama show peaks and they have these tests that they run, that's what they...

And I don't believe in it. I can't disagree more with you. This is listen i would i i i'm on your i'm on your side i know you are i know you are but the way that the network sees it is is what's going to generate more money and it's going to be viewership because they can sell advertisement they're wrong about that i know they are of course they're wrong that's why they've killed i mean they've played it well what they're doing is they just go with the box they They go with what's worked before. This is the formula. Here's the wacky neighbor.

Go. That's the formula. It doesn't have to be that. That's so silly. I wish we had a wacky neighbor. You can get a wacky neighbor. Brian, you want to be our wacky neighbor? He would be awesome at it.

Give you the wacky roommate. He's a breakthrough talent. I'm telling you. He could really knock you guys over the top. Bring the ratings to the top. It's just people enjoy people who are really good at things. I mean, that's really what it is. Yeah, but people also enjoy train wrecks, which is why you love the Housewives show.

But they don't only enjoy that. I don't think they only do, but I think that there is definitely people, not everybody, but some people get lost in um in that they do but it's not like look there's a lot of dumb shit on my dvr there's plenty of dumb shit i mean i i do i watch dumb shit both for escape and for material because there's some funny shit in it but it's also like a lot of like really intelligent shit on my dvr too like documentaries that morgan freeman show through the worm, amazing show. But it's like the same people watch both things.

And I think that a well-produced version of your show, that's you decide what the fuck goes on. You decide. You're the artist. Yeah, of course. You talk to these people about their ideas. You create their tattoos. And stop fucking around with all that fake shit,

and it would be beautiful. I would love that. Those dumb motherfuckers. Leave Kat Von D alone alone you stupid fucks no i just think hollywood hacks you just gotta cut out that middleman you cookie cutter cunts you don't know what you're doing leave her alone yeah yeah that's it you tell them yeah those fucks creating some fake nonsense silly silly bitches yeah i ended up just filming like i secretly filmed a documentary for the last three years and i was actually finally pretty much done with it and um and it's it's awesome it's so

freeing you know to be able to do it that way and having the control and stuff and i i wish i could have given as as much as i gave in my documentary to the show but i really couldn't because it wasn't mine you know and um you should totally have your own show for the internet it'd be fucking gigantic. Just film while you're working. You're going to do it anyway. Just film while you're working. Loosely edit it.

Throw a little bumper in the beginning. Throw that shit online. You'll get a million views a day. Everybody wants to see good stuff. I know, but I want to create things with a lot of quality. I can't just half-ass edit stuff. Slap that bitch together. I have to get my friend who does classical composure.

You're kind of a control freak too. No, no. An excellent freak. I just have creative intentions. Whatever. An excellence freak. You want it to be excellent. I think nowadays just with everything I have going on,

it's so time consuming to do a television show do you take on apprentices or do you have assistants or people who ever work with you who want to learn how to tattoo is that ever happened we kind of like don't at our shop you know i have 20 guys that work with me and i love them we're like we're brothers and sisters 20 guys yeah i mean you know this includes like our shop managers and stuff like that you know and and like dennis he's like my first guy I ever hired. He's like still there. Everybody's we're so close. Like what you see on television, those were, you know, like the, the cast members that they didn't work at the shop,

with the exception of Dan Smith, like everybody else kind of just kind of, they weren't really the true HVT crew, you know what I mean? Right. But, and we love each other. We love the way it is. And I feel like when you have an apprentice that changes the dynamic because it makes somebody better than somebody else. And the way that we work is that we're all good at what we do in different ways. So we're all better and not as good as each other. And we inspire each other and keep each other. You know what I mean?

So it's a collective. It's totally collective. And it's awesome. That sounds badass. I mean, it's... How does someone break into your fold? How does someone get into the group? That's the hardest thing is like we've never,

every time we've let anybody outside the circle in, it's never really worked out the way we need it. So it's always, you know, it's basically just who we know and kind of comes through that way. Were there any people that you were growing, when you were growing up, that you look towards for inspiration,

that inspire you and like up that you look towards for for inspiration that that inspire you and and and and like just give you gave you momentum to create art um yeah i mean i think like when i was a kid i used to look at tattoo magazines and when i say a kid i mean like 16 and stuff and like i remember looking up to jack rudy he was like oh yeah the black and gray godfather and all this stuff and amazing work that guy yeah yeah and so the day i turned 18 i beforehand i made an appointment with him and really once in advance and i was so excited about it and i went and got this tattoo and um and i sat there for the fucking six hours it took or whatever and it's one of my favorite tattoos it's so beautiful i still love it um but i remember him sitting there going like ah you know you guys don't have any business in

the business and all this stuff. And I was like an 18 year old kid back then. And, you know, he's very old school and like sees things a different way. And at the time I was like heartbroken, you know, it was like, oh, uh, my, uh, he, I didn't, he's a hero, but like, he was somebody I admired his work just like shut me down. But then at the same time, like, ah, it's cool. Like I'll watch this like you know i mean and then and now you know fast forward now i mean we've we know each other and

you know he's did you tell him that story um no he knows it he doesn't remember yeah i bet he doesn't remember yeah but i mean i remember like uh one of the coolest stories yeah when i was tattooing unprofessionally, when I was, like, an amateur, like, 16-year-old, I went into, I had heard that there was this girl who owned a shop in Culver City. It was, like, the only female artist that owned a shop. I was like, whoa, and her name was Erica Stanley.

She was badass. And so I remember going down National, and I go in there, and I was like, oh, my God, we're here. And it was just a tattoo shop, whatever. And I see her, and she's, like, really beautiful. And, like, she's just, like, a power. Like, she's was like, oh my God, we're here. And it was just a tattoo shop, whatever. And I see her and she's like really beautiful. And like, she's just like a power. Like she's like a force of nature. And she's like, can I help you?

And I'm like, yeah, you know. And I was just probably being overly cocky and thinking that I had gained a place in the tattoo industry when I was just a 16 year old little pumpkin with a bullshit bang on my arm. And I'm just like, oh man. So do you have any advice for me? And I remember she's like, yeah,

the best advice I could give you is run while you can. And I remember I was so pissed off. Like, oh yeah, well, fuck you, you know? And I left. And then years later, I understood what she meant by it. You know, it wasn't that she was saying, oh, you're not good enough. It's just like, ah, like if you got the eye of the tiger,

you're going to do it and you're figuring out yourself. There's nothing I could tell you that's going to make you make you badass you know if i were to sit there and coddle you like how good is that and she she she saw tattooing as sacred and i remember i went to my first tattoo convention i was 18 uh was like ink slingers i don't even know if it's still around but um and one of these guys that i tattooed a vargas portrait on entered it into the contest of best black and gray and she was the judge and you know she never knew my name at the time when I was 16 and I got first place and she voted for me and I remember going up to check oh congratulations really beautiful my hey you know what's

funny when I was 16 I went to your shop and you told me that I should go run while I can and she goes oh my god no I'm like I just want to say thank you it's cool you know well you accepted that inspiration the right way yeah yeah and she's still badass it was it was cool you know she's still i think a pioneer as far as la goes you know and it's cool comics and um tattoo artists have a lot in common in that it's a very much uh an outside chance of success. We're all fucked up. Yeah, we're both fucked up. We both have too much expression. And it's one of those things where,

if you say, what does your daughter do? Oh, my daughter's a tattoo artist. It's like, oh, Jesus. You're picturing fucking biker bars. I'd be scared if you told me your daughter's a cheerleader. I'd be like, oh! Yeah, around football players?

Yeah, ridiculous. But you say, say oh my daughter's Kat Von D it's like oh she's a famous celebrity tattooist I've seen that show she's beautiful it's a different sort of you know it's like as you you tell you if you try to tell your parents you want to be a comic they look at you like good fucking luck like you need to get a job that's gonna work like that's not what do you really want to do yeah exactly. Like, you need to get a job that's going to work. Like, that's not a real. But what do you really want to do? Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, you need to have a backup plan.

And, you know, I don't think anybody before you, that's the nuttiest thing about what you did is you became like, I mean, Ami, I guess, is famous, too. But he's not famous in the same way. You know, that show, was that the first show? Miami Inc. Was that the first of those Inc. shows? He, for whatever reason, it just never, it wasn't the same thing that's all is that what it is yeah I think so I mean people I mean a guy with the shirt off and I'm not saying that he's not uh I don't know him anymore I haven't seen him in years since those times and back then I was a drunken mess but um you know

people can I think your looks get you so far you know and after a while you have to actually care about what you're doing and you know what I mean I think at the time it was probably hard I can only assume how difficult it would be for something so new like a sensation of a new tattoo show and being like the front man for that must be

sidetracking at times maybe and then you can make mistakes that if you could go back and do it again knowing the reaction to all those different things, you'd probably do something a little different. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Sometimes it's hard when there's no one fucked up before you. No one fucked up before you that you could watch and learn from. I don't know.

So you have to make all the fuck-ups on your own. Look at all the assholes in the world and be like, I don't want to be like them. There you go. There's your example. And that is the case. We don't live in a vacuum. We all need those assholes to show us

what it feels like to watch someone be an asshole. I think. Just as much as you need inspirational people. I guess we need them all. We need everybody, right Brian? Oh yeah. What are you doing over there? Drinking Coke, Sarah. Got you off guard, you fucker.

I'm chugging. Listen, Kat, this has been a lot of fun. Yeah, thank you guys so much for having me, and I loved hanging out with you. Anytime, anytime. You know, you're very easy to talk to. Oh, cool. Really cool to talk to. How long of a wait do you have on your, like, do you have, like, three years or something crazy like that?

Would you be willing to draw a Death Squad cat on Brian's back? Draw or tattoo? Tattoo, I'm sorry. Yeah. You know what I mean. I just need to get mine fixed. Oh, yeah, that one that's fucked up. Yeah, what could you do?

Pull that shit up. What could you do to that? What could you do to that? Would he have to go and get that lasered? The options are endless. No, you can do something. You got options. Really?

Yeah, we'll talk. Cool. Really? Yeah. You think you could do a cover-up on that sucker? Maybe. It depends. All right.

Beautiful. Look at that, Brian. We've got something going on here for you. Sweet. It's beautiful. Listen, is there anything that people, anything you're selling? I know you had a book out for a while. You still sell that?

I have stuff, but I'm not a good commercial. Do you have a website that people can go and stalk you from? Her book is actually... They'll figure it out. Her book's online right here. Here it is right here. Oh, you guys are forcing stuff on there? I'm not.

No one's forcing anything. Honestly, I'm just happy to be here. We're happy to have you. I'm honored that you chose to come here and hang out with us. It's already took so long, too. I wanted to come in sooner. Oh, no, it's awesome. Anytime you want to come back, too.

Please, come back. It was really fun. It was very fun talking to you. Bye. And you can check her out on twitter the cat von d you dirty fucks and also eddie bravo check eddie bravo

out and 10th planet jj.com go and learn how to choke people bitch learn how to get it together put it together

on the mat go to death squad dot tv pick up some cat shirts brian's got two available there's still some

of the original available and the new ones oh they're not yet no i gotta get them out of the warehouse okay we'll get them some of the original available and the new ones. Oh, they're not yet? No. I've got to get them out of the warehouse. Okay, we'll get them

out of the warehouse. And thank you to Onnit.com. That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name GotYourBack. What's today's date? The 10th.

The 10th. For two more days, you get 18% off. And after that, code name Rogan, you will save 10% off any and all orders of supplements.

All right, you fucks. We'll see you guys tomorrow with my good pal Tommy Segura. And then we will return again on Thursday with the great Mac Danzig. So I'm looking forward to this very much. And have yourself a great weekend. My new studio is done. I got the lease. Brian and I are going to go check it out tomorrow when we start planning.

The clock guy is going to do some stuff for us. Cool. He's going to build some shit. Yeah, that guy's awesome. All right. All right. We love you guys. Thank you.

Bye. Thank you.