The Joe Rogan Experience - #270 - Kevin Pereira

Episode Date: September 26, 2012

Joe sits down with Kevin Pereira.

I finished. Joe Rogan podcast. Yeah, me too. I'm in the refractory period. Yeah, I need ice. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. All night.

Oh, shit. All day, all night, all day, son. Controversy all over the world, ladies and gentlemen. Kevin, motherfucking Pereira is here, bitches. Respect. Dude, so nice to see you again, my friend. So good to see you as well, sir. You have abandoned your spot on television like a real G and stepped out into the real

world, man. That takes balls. I pulled the cord and slammed through the glass canopy. For folks who don't know. And I got hit by another plane. Kevin was the host of Attack of the Show on G4 for, Jesus, how many years? God, I was with the network for 10 years, and I hosted Attack for six. When did I first do your show?

What year was it? We were probably two or three years into it. So 2007 or something like that? Give or take, sure. Seven or eight? Yeah. Yeah. We've been friends ever since, and Kevin's on the podcast several times.

We went to Things Remembered after the first show, and we got one of those little heartbreak necklaces. Mine has B-E on it and F-R-I and you have the other letters. When we put it together, we summon a very sexual Captain Planet. I'm going to make Brian jealous right now. Brian has the arrow that goes through the heart. Right to the knee. I'll parlay anything into a three-way. Which one is the male and which one

is the female? Is the male the arrow that goes through the heart? You know, the circle? The little nose? Yeah. The male has two circles at the bottom to represent testicles oh really it should it should write your own google i'm fucking the way i'm pretty sure i got the answers to this bitch yeah man it totally should right it should look like a dick why can't why does it have to be like you know why does the symbol for male who designed those things it was probably someone who really couldn't

draw that well so he said, here's a stick with a loop and we'll call that the mail. I bet it was a dude who designed Prince's thing when he stopped being a person.

I need a symbol. It's the same company. Yeah. I think that was a legal thing though. I think that was one of those record companies fucking you over things.

Well, I'll tell you what, if you just have a symbol, your music is fucking hard to torrent. Yeah, super hard. If you're just like, Alt J uses a triangle and thankfully you can type in Alt J but if you try to just try, if you just have a symbol, your music is fucking hard to torrent. Yeah, super hard. If you're just like Alt-J uses a triangle, and thankfully you can type in Alt-J, but if you just have to type the triangle, that requires extended ASCII knowledge.

My dad's not going to pirate that album. Way too hard. Yeah, how would you draw that print symbol? You would have to get a font made up, and then someone would have to agree to assign a key to that font, and the OS would have to be changed, right? iOS 6.5, that will have the emoji and prince icon set i don't think it's necessary i think he's prince again i think he's concert i think is what are you doing over there i think it's the old screen savers that's funny i went

on leo laporte's show that was wild oh leo laporte was awesome man i used to love that show my wife would get so mad at me for watching that stupid show. Which one did you watch? Screensavers or Call for Help? Screensavers. She was like, this is so boring. Well, that was the thing. I loved it. I was a super fan of tech TV and Leos and everything they did.

But it's wild the notion that on television, where they're trying to reach a very broad audience, there was an hour, sometimes five-hour marathon-long show. I was like, you got a problem with your printer driver? Okay, what model HP do you have? All right, let's check some DLL files. I'm like, what? five hour marathon long show i was like you got a problem with your printer driver yeah okay what model hp do you have all right let's check some dll files scrolled i'm like what talk about narrowcasting they're spending 30 minutes helping one person with their fucking printer driver yeah and i loved it it was awesome i learned so much yeah it did me as well i think we i think we underestimate people's attention spans for these type of things. I really do. I think people are very curious about those kind of – and some folks aren't.

Look, there was a UFC this weekend where these guys fought for the flyweight title. And it was a fucking amazing fight between Joseph Benavidez and this guy, Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson, who wanted to win the decision. And the crowd was booing. They were booing because nothing – these guys were fucking throwing down. I it was they want to see the big power shots exactly they want to see someone get knocked unconscious it was it was so gross it was just so it was such a plethora of dummies it was so hard so it's like you're never going to get away from that well you're always going to have a certain percentage people are you can train people to have certain viewing habits and expectations and that's what like the Google YouTube channels that came out.

Some people are doing 30, 40 minute long shows on YouTube that are actually doing pretty well. And that kind of behavior a year ago was unheard of. The notion that someone would stare at this to stream video for an hour or half hour to watch a web show was unheard of. So people can be trained to have different expectations of running times and length. So you can manipulate attention spans essentially. It can be trained to have different expectations of running times and length so you can you can manipulate attention spans essentially you can it can be done yes well sir i don't think it's really manipulating attention spans i think we're underestimating people's interests and things when we started doing the podcast everybody told brian and i that we had to shorten it there was like you have these long ass conversations man you gotta shorten that

and i i was like there's no way. I go, I don't get it. It's a conversation. If you don't like it, you shut it off. If you don't have any more time left, you shut it off. There's no obligation to continue with this conversation. But I like conversations that I have with my friends when we're up for a couple hours smoking pot or something like that. we're up for a couple hours smoking pot or something like that and we have these really intense moments where you know i'm being aided by his intellect and he's introducing thoughts to my

mind there's a real like regeneration and refreshing of the mind when you have these kind of conversations you know even if you're just talking stone shit about you know simulation theory and and and you know and whether or not mushrooms really are a portal to another dimension, just stupid shit. This, the shit that comes out at hour two and a half around that mark is when you get there, which is why you'll never see those kinds of conversations on a late night

talk show where you have three and a half minutes, plug your movie, get to the clip, get out and go. People don't realize the fun and just shooting the shit with cool people. And that's when, you know, when someone said that they were too long. I'm like, you're crazy.

Just because everybody else is doing an hour doesn't mean it has to be an hour. That's nuts. Giving them too much is way better than not giving them enough. The idea is to just put out the best shit you can put out. And if you could keep going after two hours, why wouldn't you keep going?

This is what you're trying to do, right? You're trying to tune people into this real conversation it's kind of one of the reasons that i actually ended up having to leave attack i mean there were a myriad reasons but one of those things was i was getting a chance to meet so many fascinating people who i was passionate about and wanted to talk with and i was given four minutes live with them dude you and it's my first time saying hello you need a podcast yesterday sure fuck the works in the work dude you need to do one tonight right after this podcast i'll be your first guest on your podcast this isn't me tugging off strangers this is me spinning plates all right like i know

i got a couple in the air i'm sure you do but what i'm saying is your gift is that you're an intelligent curious guy i mean one of your gifts obviously you're brilliant talk about my eyes i love your face too you. You're handsome. You have great bone structure. Apple Maps cannot navigate you out of here if you get lost. What I'm saying is there's no better. I'm lost already. I was lost before I got here.

There's no better, like, expression or portal for expression for you than a podcast where you can control, especially something like this where you can add video. We can essentially do whatever we want. It's so close to a real television show, except it's not, there's no ads ever. You know, there's ads in the beginning and then the whole fucking thing runs for three

hours. Yet people will still complain. You pretty much do that already though. You did stick cam last night for an hour. I do it randomly. I'll hop on and like, if I'm going to drum, I'll live cast some of my,

my drumming, but then it always ends up with me sweaty and having an emotional outpour. And then I start ranting to strangers. Oh, I did. I will press the ham up against the webcam. Looks like it's a Portuguese hedgehog just mashed against the lens. There's girls right now going through your recorded Ustream videos trying to find it. Primarily 18 to 34-year-old males going through that Ustream trying to find it.

You're more of like a gay crush. Yeah, am I a twink or a bear? How does that work? Probably because I hold my coffee like this. Just a handsome young guy who looks like you could be easily overpowered. That's what it is. I would scrap if it turned you on.

That's about it. I might paw at your face if i thought it would make you harder but just that that alone that sentence is really disturbing i might fight if it makes you oh brian and i were having that conversation before we went live of like girls that request and demand that you strike them during the act oh and i've been with one and it was insane and i couldn't i couldn't do it for more than more than five or ten sessions i yeah i've never had a girl ask me to hit her but i've have had girls ask me to rape them that's even worse yeah that's kind yeah like i've had girls is that how that works because oh they want you to yeah like she explained it to me that she wanted she wanted me to rape her

and she wanted to fight me off and i was like i feel like that sentence followed with your honor well first she was asking for it we were in an alley she said let me break my nails against the concrete we never wound up doing it i should just clarify i just thought it was the craziest thing i'd ever heard in my life i don't know it's like look i'm i'm i'm into living with reality i don't know what you're trying to i'm not we barely you know we don't have been dating a little while we didn't need any fantasies yet like jesus fucking christ like how about a regular sex life is going stale how about a rape fantasy who you really are who i really am no we're both horny throw me into a van and hit me with a two by four and then stream it no so she wanted to fight me off it was this weird thing she's like but you know that it's not so it it's okay. I go, it's not because I'm still going to do it.

And, you know, I don't want to do that. I don't want to associate physical aggression with sexuality. It's tough because this isn't my story to really tell, and I have a very close-knit group of friends, but someone in that group. His name rhymes with mob. No, what's his name? Come on, give up the dude's name.

Here's the thing. No, no, no. It's a brilliant story. He started dating. Give him a fake name. I'm going to cliff notes this year. Okay. My buddy Dale.

Oh, Dale. Started to date a woman, Cherise. And Cherise told Dale it was always a fantasy of hers to be raped. But it's sort of one of those things where you can't ask to be raped because then you know

and it would ruin the fantasy. always want to so after they've been dating for no less than a year and they were both into kinky sex and weird sex circles and kind of went around in those carbon rose i'm not gonna i'm not gonna say yes but i'm gonna tap my nose and wink and point your way uh so my buddy kevin was, Dale. That shit, son of a bitch. Fuck. Oh my God. Lucky kettlebells. So less than a year they've been dating, he arranges, she's flying in from town. He arranges for three giant dudes to pick her up at the airport, take her away, throw her in a van, pretty much run a train on her outside a gas station.

She's crying, thinks the real thing has happened. Then he shows up and he says, happy birthday. And she cried and thanked him and couldn't believe it. They're still together to this day. Wow. Yep. That's the first time I met Kevin Rose. I was invited to run a train on his girlfriend.

Whoa. I had no idea Sarah Lane and him were still dating. Stop with the fucking names. I should just say absolutely not him whatsoever that is a joke for 12 people this is all just a joke but that's a crazy story

that's a fucked up story and she liked it immediately I go you know what I want to be clear as well that's not for me not necessarily for me I have a rape fantasy and I would love for three dudes to run a train on me sure but i'm not gonna admit that right so not for me but on the other hand on the flip side of that coin that's fucking love like at some point you go what were the odds of those two ships passing in the night one having

a rape fantasy the other be willing to fulfill it in that capacity and go for it and and then say happy birthday and then say happy birthday. And then say happy birthday. That might be the craziest story. The frosting on the cake is on your face. That might be the craziest story I've ever heard about a man and a woman together. It's pretty fantastic. I'm just trying to think who it is. I can see Adam Sessler doing that.

No, no, no. This is nobody that's in any sort of limelight. They don't have Wikipedia. It's really fucked up that there's these variables because it would be nice if rape was always bad. It would be nice if girls did not ever have a rape fantasy so there couldn't be any weirdness. I can't remember which comedian it is.

It might have been Louis C.K. that had a bit about when a girl says no and she's like, why didn't you go for it? Because you said no. Yeah, but I meant no playfully. It's like I'm not going to have sex with you on the off chance that you're into that. Yeah. You know what I mean?

There's no, no should really mean no. Yes. And yes can mean yes. But the problem is, that's not what she wants. She really wants you to take it, which is crazy. Because for a woman who doesn't want that, it's a horrific idea. I always apologize after. And Hallmark needs to make cards for that.

Like, sorry you didn't want to be forcibly sexed. Yeah, this girl Here you go. I'll call an Uber for you. That I dated that wanted me to rape her. She got over it. She only asked for it once. But it was really weird. Was that rooted in something else? I don't know. Was she a victim of a sex

crime earlier in life or something? No. She just liked super aggression. She liked aggression no no she just liked she liked super aggression she liked aggression like she just battle rope movements yeah she wanted some fucking drum beating she was just a wild bitch i don't know i don't know what do you still have her contact no this is many moons ago facebook i don't think you can mind if i battle i think you should not she might ruin you i'm so tiny i would snap in half at the thought plus she's got to be like 40 now so it's over i don't mind that so i don't mind a little i don't mind when the tread on the tires is worn off i'll hop in there well it's a

depends you say it's over but i saw cindy crawford who was like almost 50 or she might be 50 and she is still so hot as fuck what about gwen stefani isn't she like 40-something now? I don't know. I just saw her at the airport on the cover of some magazine, and I'm like, I would absolutely toss it in her. Not that I would ever have a chance, but... You can't say that, though,

based on a magazine cover, because that might as well be like a werewolf. Well, I get that there's Photoshop and camera trickery and whatnot. I get that that goes on. Have you seen those photos of Madonna recently? Oh, my God, of Skeletor? Yeah, but then you see her

in other promotional pictures, and she looks hot still. It's like, what's goingor? Yeah, but then you see her in other promotional pictures and she looks hot still. It's like, what's going on? Who's lying to me? Someone's lying. My boner's confused. I'm fucking really creeped out by this, like that there must be a Phantom of the Opera

type thing going on. But would you bang Madonna knowing what she really looks like? Not even for the sport? I'm not into that. Not for the story of it? Not into that. Not even to tag her ear

and monitor her later? When I was 17, I was in love with her. Really? Oh yeah, I had a big thing for her after that. You? When I was 17, I was in love with her. Really? Oh, yeah. I had a big thing for her after that. You loved her music. Well, I loved that movie, Vision Quest.

Vision Quest. She sang a song in Vision Quest. And it was like, she had a couple songs on the soundtrack. And the soundtrack was what I would use to train with. I would always train to the Vision Quest soundtrack. I had a Walkman, cassette Walkman dude, old school. And when I would do my sprints, I would listen to that. So I had this weird crush on her because of that song.

Would you have to awkwardly fast forward the cassette to get to the crescendo of the song before a sprint? No. I wasn't so clever. I want to believe you had a talk boy. It was too difficult back then. Because back then, it was like, ch-ch-ch-ch. Right.

Stop. Ch-ch-ch-ch. It was not so easy. You really didn't cue things up. I would cue up the beginning of the song right before a sprint maybe. Okay. I wouldn't. So you did go through a little bit of that.

But it sucked because the fucking cassette thing was too big. So it would slap against your dick while you're running. Hard metal or hard plastic slapping against you. Yeah. And that's how fetishes are born. I was into Madonna back then, Which is really funny Because I was 17 And then I found out she was 26 I was like damn that bitch is old

That's all I can think She's coming up on her inspiration date I'm 45 now I'm fucking practically dead That's ridiculous Meanwhile I feel great But I've just never been into the Madonna type. I've never been into super aggressive business.

I just like that you took a flex break. You're like, I'm going to put the podcast on hold, and I'm just going to hit it. All right, I'd fuck me. Anybody else? I'd fuck you right now. I'd let me rape me. Joe, take me out behind an ANP.

Come on. I won't bear Macy, I promise. In flexing, I broke loose an eyelash, and it fell on a marble. Oh, I hate that shit. I will go ahead and put a key between my fingers, but I'm not going to jab you with promise. In flexing, I broke loose an eyelash and it fell on my eyeball. Oh, I hate that shit. I will go ahead and put a key between my fingers, but I'm not going to jab you with it. Just come and take me. What a shitty design our eyes are that occasionally the rafters fall off into it and then you can't see.

What if a fucking bear was trying to get you and the eyelash fell in your eye? Like, motherfucker. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. We're going to devolve very soon. We're going to become so reliant on plastic chips in our bodies and technology to regulate us that the body's just going to stop.

They're like, we don't really need eyes anymore. We'll figure that out with thermal. I disagree. I think it's going to be an assimilation. Of course. Yeah. We're still going to have some sort of a breeding type thing going on. Look, eventually we are going to be those gray aliens.

There's no way around it. If you look at gorillas. We'll be Salt State Drives. We were at the Santa Barbara Zoo the other day and got to check some gorillas out. Oh, you actually went? Oh, it's fucking beautiful. Santa Barbara is amazing, man. They have a zoo there?

I've been going there with my family. I love Santa Barbara. It's a gorgeous community. It's amazing. Nice little restaurants, beautiful neighborhoods, beautiful view. The weather is amazing. And they got this cool zoo. But all zoos bum me out. If I didn didn't have children i would never go to the zoo because i

hate the idea of i don't mind the idea of hunting i think the hunting is the way people are supposed to live well depends on how you're hunting as well if you're paying for 5 000 birds to be released so you can shoot a shotgun yeah like that you're not really hunting asshole yeah that was that's a weird thing they do with old rich dudes they just give them a shoot shoot sam bang or bring you out in a range rover and put you within three meters of an elephant and hand you a rifle and they'll just point it anywhere in his general direction and pull the trigger yeah and they'll get a photo of you with a foot on it that's not hunting not necessarily what i mean but what i i get what you're saying but what bums me out is yeah what bums me out is animal prisons. Animal prisons bum me out way more than hunting.

Because at least if you're hunting an animal, even if you're not going to eat that animal, if you're going to just give that animal away, which is kind of weird. Like this guy, Matt Hughes, is a UFC champion, just got in trouble with a lot of people. People are angry at him because he went to South Africa and shot everything. He did one of those things. Including women and children.

Like a zebra and a bunch of different animals and but even that to me it's like that still seems to be better than the fucking zoo i think the zoo is one of the like the the if you want to talk about cruelty the animals the zoo is one of the most fucked up places on earth because those animals are denied all of their natural activities all of them we think that just because they have food they're okay that is madness or hey well you know what their forest was getting cut down so at least we saved them and i'm like is that really saving them putting putting a natural animal that has instincts that are predatory and then dangling meat from a pole for it or having it pace in a 4x4 cell.

And they don't even fucking give them Wi-Fi. They don't even have Wi-Fi. They don't have anything to kill. Not even a hot seat. And that's something that they do do in other countries. Like in other countries, especially in Asia, when they have tiger preserves, they preserve these tigers, but they feed them live goats. Right.

Have you ever seen that? Brian, throw a few of those up, because there's hundreds of them online. I've seen preserves where they feed them like they fed the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, which is a goat on a chain. Better than just handing it the meat that's already killed, but at some point you should let the goat go. You should let them

actually hunt and go through those animalistic behaviors. Yeah, that would be better if you had an ecosystem in a place but even that you shouldn't contain it it shouldn't be that this tiger has no idea what happens if he walks 20 miles to the ocean it shouldn't be that the tiger should be able to go wherever the fuck the tiger is if that's his habitat unless we choose to make them extinct if we choose it too fucking dangerous

they're eating too many people we got to start jacking them which by the way if i lived in india i'd be hunting tigers every fucking day of the week more people have died from tigers in india than anywhere in the world they're like just the sundarbans alone is it somewhere like 300 000 people been murdered by tigers over the last hundred years and that's because they're building in their habitat or because they're trying to keep them as pets because poor people are living near monsters okay i mean it's a great in the Sundarbans, it's a brackish ocean, and apparently the tigers drink this water, and the water is extra salty, so it makes them really aggressive.

It makes them irritated all the time. Really? Yeah, I had a bit about it in my act, a true story about these poor fucking fishermen. They were in a boat. There was like five guys in a boat, and this tiger swam out to the boat jumped in killed a guy dragged him through the water to the shore dropped his body off at the

shore jumped back in the water to go get the other guys and did it again did it three times he did it three times so the last two guys were just fucking being that third guy in the boat yeah fucking start paddling dude you gotta something out. You know what's happening. Who knew tigers were that fucking evil? Like they really are monsters because they're not doing it for food. They're doing it

because they can. Like at that point, Tom, how could you justify They want to swipe off the ears and make a necklace. They're doing it for the sport.

Yeah. How could you justify keeping that thing around? What is this, a bull? This is a goat feeding from a... That's a cow, I guess. It looks like.

Oh, there it is, yeah. A cow fucker. Oh, there we go. That cow seems like you rushed him a little bit like to his talking shit yeah i'll spear this motherfucker i like how they go jujitsu style they go right to the bottom and then look call this call this like yeah oh okay he's got side control he's got the neck as long as he's got the neck he's good he's got the top of the spine now this is really hard for the cow to get anything done here he At least the cow's standing, though. The cow's got to figure out some way to go to his back and kick that thing off

and then get back to his feet and run away. But it doesn't look good. The tiger's got the back of the neck. I think he's fucked. Don't forget to check out a new season of The Ultimate Fighter. Friday night, 7.30. There's the dead cow. I don't get it.

Oh, there's a live cow. Oh, they have them all hogtied and shit. Yeah, look how they bring them out. That poor cow. Before they let him get killed by a lion, he lives in shit. He gets a view of the sky while being dragged by a golf cart. He gets fucking ball gagged and strung up by his hooves. That's exactly what they did to him.

That's fucking crazy. Yeah. So Santa Barbara Zoo was exciting for you it was good or it was it was sad like you made just sad it's cool because the kids get to see the the fucking animal jail but it's sad when you see you explain to them like hey this is not natural for these animals i mean or no you just let it be four and two you know so it's just like this is no i'm not being upset i'm just saying no you are you'm not being upset. I'm just saying. No, you are. You're being very passionate. Dude. I'm just saying, when I explain to them, it's just like, I just want them to repeat the names and know where it lives and what it does.

Well, something that serves that purpose, though. Yeah. Well, it doesn't really. I would rather show them DVDs. I really would. But, you know, kids like looking at shit, you know. I could never get my daughter to sit down and watch, like, a documentary on the Congo or something like that.

But if you take them somewhere and show them some actual real shit, that has a different impact on them. But my point was while I was standing there looking at the gorillas, I was looking at a gorilla and looking at me and then thinking about gray aliens. I'm like, yeah, that's next. It has to be. That really is us. I think those fucking eyes, it's because they have built-in sunglasses because we've completely fucked the environment.

You can't see anymore. You go outside. It's got triple UV protective layers and reflective coatings. Why else would they have those big fucking totally black eyes? That shit's his sunglasses. Built-in sunglasses. Those are Oakley's in 4022. Our eyes got way bigger after Google Goggles.

It's like an unexpected turn. Well, Google Goggles, not only does it give you cancer of the brain, but that cancer specifically makes your eyes grow. And that changed evolution. So that's what happened. The human eye became large. Almond-sized or shaped. So when that happened,

and then eventually we went with pure telekinesis. People stopped talking. The mouth shrunk up. We won't need physical vessels once we can figure out how to digitize the consciousness. Especially if the physical vessel is going to be universal, indiscernible, like it looks like the gray aliens are. The gray aliens, it's not like you see like a Shaquille O'Neal gray alien right next to Bridget the Midget. You're being racist.

You're saying they all look the same, and I see completely different personalities. I can pick out Doug from Xanadu, all right? Okay. Have you ever had any sort of an experience with anything that you thought was paranormal, whether it was a ghost or... Not while sober. Yeah.

I mean, on Salvia, I've experienced the universe, you know, as a pixel of a human being. I've absolutely seen it and felt it and understood it. But sober, I haven't felt like phantoms or cold chills. That word sober is a very interesting word because I agree with the idea to a certain extent that when you're intoxicated, that that is an impaired state

and that what you're saying is probably not real. It's just a distortion of all your sensory perceptions and your body reacting to poison. Yeah, I mean you can trick your body into synesthesia. However, there's times when I'm high where I completely disagree that it's not an impaired you wouldn't it's not in an it's not an impaired state it's an enhanced state it's very difficult to manage enhanced state and there's a lot going on but it's not impaired it's modified it's modified it's it makes reality a little slippery you can get socially awkward you can get paranoid there's a lot of things that can happen that what it is is you have a massive amount of extra sensitivity and it's almost the exact opposite of being drunk

and what people don't understand is like oh he's impaired he's on the pot when i'm on the pot okay i'm like i play pool twice as good maybe three times as good i can play like professional level for long stretches of time when i'm high as fuck my car i write better comedy like there's a lot going on you can't say is is a there's no downside of that there's no it's not a detrimental situation and carl sagan has said something that it's a my quote on my message board and when he said it i was like thank you says i am convinced there are genuine and valid levels of perception available with cannabis and probably with other drugs, which are, through the defects of our society and our educational system, unavailable to us without such drugs. And there's real clarity in some of these experiences. It's just so much recreational use and so much fucking around with all of us that it's been especially with people who don't do any of these things they don't smoke pot they've never

done mushrooms that it seems like a recreational silly type activity it doesn't seem like there's any validity well they're yeah they're still and they're still banking off of the uh the stories and the connotations that have been handed down since the reefer madness days from grandpa told someone's parents that that reefer will make you silly it'll make you crazy it'll make you a you know a druggie you'll be a know-nothing and then that just gets handed down and handed down it would be really cute we would be a cute fun thing to watch bumble into walls if it wasn't for all the violence if it wasn't for like the shit that's going down today in spain have you seen this shit brian have you seen the video please pull up the video of the spain protesting because it is crazy our mainstream news fuck you cnn fuck you fox news you guys suck you are fucking frauds

they are not the news cogs in a machine owned by corporations to to facilitate an agenda it's ridiculous the fact that no one's covering what's going on in Bahrain. No one is covering... I mean, the amount of coverage in America on this Spain thing is shameful. And their depiction of it is shamefully inaccurate. That it's just a small protest.

No, this is a fucking whole civilization rising up against their leaders. I mean, people are looting for food in trash bins. That's how dire the situation has got for a large section of that population, and now they're taking to the streets, and nobody knows about it.

And the actual reported figures of unemployment are at 25%, but those are disputed by the population. They say it could be even worse than that. The reported numbers of unemployment... And by the way, a lot of times those figures, they only count those who are actively seeking employment and are unable to find it,

which means if 25% is statistically unemployed, there might be another 25% that has fucking given up. You're exactly right. And they're resorting to trash cans and now looting. Yeah, you're exactly right. That's the people that are still in the system that are being counted as unemployed. And people use that as an example of our society because our society, we try to keep

it. Unemployment's down. It's up. You don't know shit. You don't know shit. Absolutely not. You know about people that are in your system. That's it.

There's a huge amount of people out there that have fucking thrown in the towel. And that's what's going on in Spain. Look at the videos. It's fucking unbelievable. Notice the badge in the corner. Not CNN that's what's going on in spain it's if you see look at the videos yeah it's fucking notice the badge in the corner not cnn not msnbc not fox nothing it's you know it's we've done such a terrible job what does rt stand for again uh it's not reuters it's uh god i i watch all their stuff in the face with a fucking hell a little baton while they're taking pictures of them yeah this is crazy but what's really crazy is these fucking cops man like they they are just employees of the machine they're not even the machine they're regular folks yep the regular folks are attacking

regular folks but these people these people are fighting for their jobs right now just as the people rioting are trying to fight for jobs and that's what's so sad this is how disconnected it is they have to lay down their arms. It has to get worse. It has to get worse to the point where the cops realize, okay, we are the civilization. Certainly.

We are this population. Those people that they are clubbing. Oh, look at that guy. Flying sidekick. And a roundhouse kick to the body. Very weak roundhouse kick. No turn of the hips at all. Look, people are kicking him

and pushing him down. That's fucking crazy, man. That cop's down. Nobody took his back. Someone should have taken his back. Yeah, well, they're gonna pushing him down. That's fucking crazy, man. That cop's down. Nobody took his back. Someone should have taken his back. Yeah, well, they're gonna... As soon as he's down, man, you gotta get over under. Soon they'll bring out the sonic weaponry and the drones and the UAVs

and, I mean, that's why this kind of dissent doesn't happen in the States right now because we have a military that's a police force that will roll out with armored vehicles and assault rifles. Well, not only that, we have new laws protecting the cunts just in case this shit goes down, where they legally can do a bunch of shit that they were never allowed to do just a couple of years ago. They can pull you off the streets and detain you before anything ever happens because you

might be a thought leader. Yeah. You know, it's really disturbing to me, all these celebrities and all these different people who are standing up for Obama and campaigning for Obama. And like guys that I respect and intelligent people are saying he's better than Mitt Romney like what do you what are you what are you looking at I'm like what are you looking at you are you are you paying attention to what this guy's doing to the constitution they're looking they're cherry picking a few moral issues which is always what it boils down to which is sad uh you know I happen to agree with the moral stance of obama versus a romney a little bit more but it doesn't fucking matter

at the end what aspect of his things like civil unions gay rights yeah like gay rights that's a big one well you know what that is that's a democratic talking point sure you know he he is because they won't talk about money in politics which is the root of 90 of all the fucking issues we have right now and nobody's going to talk about it because it's what lining their pockets yeah when you when it comes to something that's actually important he is not standing up for us nope when it comes are going to raid the dispensaries here in la despite saying that's not going to happen well they just did they just they just closed in on 71 of them yesterday they sent notices to a bunch and they're suing too they haven't started shattering glass yet, but believe me, that's two weeks away. Yeah, the whole thing

is really sick. And this is supposed to be this awesome president's regime. I mean, he's running things right now. He's running things right now. He's running a campaign right now. Well, they're not fucking doing it right. They should be non-profit. Shut up.

You're telling me that the DEA that has nothing better to do for real than go after pot companies that is one of the weakest ways to get a collar by the way 700 dispensaries can't be opened and operated unless there's fucking demand for 700 dispensaries how about that there's a law that says you're allowed to have it here. And to pretend that it's worse than anything else, you've already got legal, and there's a reason why you're going after it. It's crazy, Obama.

That's why I'm always against the medicinal marijuana argument because it ignores the recreational argument, which is just as fucking valid as the medicinal one. It certainly is. But the medicinal one, I think, while in a world of madness, there's a lot of people, not me necessarily, I could get by without it. The reasons that I use it for is nothing's terminal. There's people with terminal illnesses.

There's people who have cancer, and marijuana is the only thing that gives them an appetite. There's nothing else that works as good. People that will have seizures if they do not smoke pot, and yet someone is pulling the joint out of their hand and saying, no, no, no, you need to have a seizure because this needs to be legal. Well, that's why whenever anybody talks about the human body and they're doing it from an ideological standpoint without any real medical training or even reading research,

you're talking out of your ass. Like when you've got an asshole like Rush Limbaugh that's talking about some girl wanting to be a slut so she can get a birth control right what that asshole doesn't understand is that some women get ovarian cysts if they don't take birth control they have medical issues there's a lot of them that women can use birth control with and it cleans them up sorry joe he's just popped a handful of oxycontin and chased it with alcohol so he can't hear you right now because let's not forget he was chastising people who wanted to smoke pot while taking handfuls of pharmaceuticals. Well, not only that he was doing it illegally

Yeah, he was having his maid go out and buy his his oxys for him They said we searched it we researched it on Wikipedia and it said that he was up to 30 a day According to his maid decided by Johnny Balls 17 He's the one who put that sentence in there and he is the most trusted source on the wikipedia cut to the johnny balls 17 twitter account johnny balls just opened there's a scramble for it right now i hope there is yeah it's insane when i think about unemployment and i think about and i this may transition into a tsa rant i apologize if it does because it's still fresh yeah my head. Yeah, well, we've got to talk about that anyway. The biggest fucking government works program that's really going on right now are tax dollars going to create a system to create jobs to demean us and make us feel like criminals for wanting to take a flight.

Yeah. by thousands of, not thousands, that's hyperbole, by hundreds of sorted papers that is inefficient, ineffectual, that demeans us, that leads to lobbyists and government kickbacks for these corporations that make machines that scan us and take nude photos of us, essentially. Well, for the folks that do it, for the folks that do the TSA, it is a shit job. You're dealing with people that don't want to be there. Absolutely. You're dealing with people that don't want to comply.

And in their defense, look, there's that fucking classic Stanford study that we brought up over and over again of what happened when they just had college students have one person in charge. You're the warden. The other person is, yeah.

You're the prisoner. When you do that, people abuse people. People are supposed to be equal, folks. That's just the way it is. There's not supposed to be cops. For the more, isn't there a law against uniforms

for people that aren't law enforcement officials having uh like markings or or patterns well then how do you work at burger king no no well because you're not you're not wearing a badge and you're not wearing patches you are if you're the manager do you have a sheriff's a tin sheriff badge i believe the colonel sanders gives out stripes doesn't care i'm the sheriff of this grill well you should like but they're not they're not actually by the way they're not cops they are they are regular folks that are wearing tin badges and patches and i've met a lot there's always cops there there's always a stand of cops there's airport police and they are police officers they're real and they come in when

the shit actually gets real to mace you and frisk you yeah i've never had a problem at the tsa ever with people being rude to me with people i've never had a problem at the TSA ever with people being rude to me. I've never had that problem. Do you go through the machines? I go through the machines and I'm friendly. I opt out. I'm friendly.

I'm friendly as shit but I opt out. Well, Brendan Walsh said that he had a problem with the same thing. He opted out on the way to Toronto.

What I've heard is that there's radiation in those machines. They haven't really registered it yet but if you really want to worry about radiation you shouldn't be flying in the first place.

Because the flight itself is incredibly radioactive. The radiation, to me, is a moot point. Like, yeah, I don't think I deserve it if I don't need it. You think it's a rights violation? It's a rights violation, plus the RapidScan Corporation, which is one of the two big corporations that had, like, you know, the $70 million contracts to install these machines. They were funding Chertoff, who was the ex-head of the Homeland Security Administration like they've increased their lobbying five five uh by like 50 percent or something since 2008 and 2010 that was the last study I read so lord knows how much money they're spending now to kick to give kickbacks to people

in power to do these no-bid contracts to put in these machines which by the way most most security and defense experts tell you that they can't actually detect the plastic explosives that could blow up a 747. Like, they can't actually detect it. Plus, there was a case in Florida, just not only, like, probably two years ago, where hundreds of thousands of the photos

from people going through those machines, because it does store photos, even though it doesn't display them, those photos were hacked. And they said, we don't store these photos, they don't get taken, but they have a nude picture of you somewhere. Lord knows how that's going to come back to haunt you. The radiation is, to me, a moot point.

I look good naked, dude. Release the hounds. There's going to be TSA fetish porn. There's absolutely going to be fetish porn. TSA people, release the hounds. It's just absurd to me that my tax dollars go towards buying these machines for these corrupt corporations to have them installed to make me feel like a criminal, to snap a photo of me naked, which don't make me any safer as I go onto a flight.

Do you think it doesn't make you any safer? Don't you think that if people could take guns on planes, they would? If there was no metal detection, you would have to deal with the same sort of instances of people being crazy in society on a plane as you would on the ground. I think metal detectors are good. I do. I think the idea of checking your bags is good. There's too many cunts. There are certainly – there should be a standard of protection.

Metal detector, if you want to scan the baggage, that's fine. But I think we've drawn the line way too far. And we've drawn it to a point now where if, like, first of all, we've always been one step behind. Let's not forget 9-11 happened with box cutters. All right? There was no explosives. There were no bombs. There were no guns.

It was box cutters. Well, Kevin, that's the official story. But here at Infowars.com. We know it was a government inside job Bin Laden determined to attack We've got the documents ladies and gentlemen There is no way You can take over a plane

With a box cutter Look at this article by Johnny Ball 17 He has done the math It checks out If you go to Infowars.com and buy gold You'll be safe. And a crank flashlight. And a crank flashlight. We need a crank flashlight slash

radio. Fuck your way to freedom. Yeah, if you want to believe the official story. The most fantastical story. By the way, those flashlights need a rechargeable battery on them so they can heat up. I should be able to press a button and have it get warm. But we don't use them anymore. So I don't give a fuck.

Oh, I do. You mean you don't fall apart? You don't talk about them anymore? They're not our sponsor anymore. Oh, that sucks. Do you still fuck them, though? No comment. There's not one right behind you.

They're a good sponsor, but I think it got to a point where we probably saturated their market. And quite honestly, we make more money from other people. Got it. He has a flashlight right behind his computer. Yeah, we're always one step behind. So here's what concerns me, is that now we're at a point where let's say they take them but uh someone flying spaghetti monster forbid decides to blow up

a school or a footlocker in a mall or a stadium or a concert venue those machines are going to be everywhere what do you think would happen if you went to the airport and you had like a radiation detector and you said i would like to go through this machine and detect they wouldn't let you they wouldn't let you there's no way they would let you they'd probably arrest you right yeah that what is that machinery you're not allowed to have it here they some creepy in my incident in austin i was told i was not allowed to film it i was brought into a private screening room that had a giant placard above that says this is a private screening room which i did not request i was taken in there my belongings were taken in there without my request i even objected to it and

they said you have to go this way did you have to is that the law yeah at this point i didn't have time to fight it i had to catch a flight see the thing is with a patriot act and shit like that you don't know what the fuck is terrorism on paper these days they make it up as they go along and then they have lawyers figure out how what however they treated you is the legal way to treat you sons of bitch where you going bitch okay they had the x-ray get back i gotta i gotta have you pull something up they have the x-ray machine I gotta have you pull something up They have the x-ray machine in the Austin airport And it's right next to one of those rapid scan body scanning machines

And there's a long line for the rapid scan machine And that's when they say Oh that line's getting long Come on through the x-rays So right away I'm like If this is integral to my safety You're now chucking my safety out the window For the convenience factor of cycling people through security

Well are they really saying that it's not safe? I mean, is that really what they're saying? The rapid scan thing or the X-ray thing is not safe? I'm talking about if we need those body scanning machines because they can detect a whole bunch of stuff that a traditional X-ray can't, that when it gets to inconvenient because the line is too long, you're now throwing my safety out the window. That seems inconsistent.

It sounds crazy. It seems wrong, right? It's crazy. But I'm in line to go through the x-ray and then randomly they do the, oh, you need to go through the rapid scan machine.

So I say, can't I just go through the x-ray? No, you can't. Now they're angry with me because I even asked that. So I opt out as I normally do.

My belongings go through the machine. Now I can't see them. I say, hey, I can't see my laptop. I can't see my phone. I can't see any of that stuff. It's over there.

Your belongings are fine. How do I know that I can't see them? They didn't give anybody to do it so i'm already on edge right i always hit it always feel like whenever i take a fucking jet blue flight this is gonna be my occupy moment it's gonna end with pepper spray to the face and i'm gonna get handcuffed even though i'm as polite as can be right and i just i just want someone to watch my shit right i get stuck in a glass box where i'm next to a girl that couldn't have been more than six years old um she has a a handicap she's in wheelchair, and there was something mentally wrong with her.

She was stemming. She was rocking. She was pulling her hair and crying because there were three TSA agents trying to tell her to lift her arms so they can swab her clothes, swab her wheelchair, the back pad, the tires, the wheels, everything. Her dad is there on the brink. You can imagine how traumatic it is to try to bring somebody, a special needs child, through an airport in general. But now they've been selected for special screening and he has to try to explain to his daughter who's having a fit, rightfully so,

as strangers are groping her and, you know, swiping, swabbing her seat. He's trying to calm her down, well, you know, by holding an iPad in her face and doing whatever he can to get her to relax. Do I have to lift her out of the seat, he asks. Yes, you do. He's trying to lift her up. She's fighting it. My heart is breaking for this guy. The reason I'm sitting in this glass box

is because after my pat down, they ran my little piece of cloth, or they ran the gloves and the piece of cloth that they swiped the bottom of my feet with through a machine. By the way,

machines which we spent more than $30 million on to install in airports. And this machine said, I tested positive for nitrates. I had that happen once. Yeah, and I pulled up, so what's a nitrate? Well, sir, it's a, you know, that could be used, it's a chemical. Okay, what does

that mean? Well, it's a chemical. It'd be used in a lot of things. It doesn't, it's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. Like, this isn't a problem. And I go, no, it is a problem because I have a flight to catch and I want to know, like, why I'm being detained longer. Well, you tested positive for nitrates so we have to give you an even more thorough screening. Okay. Well, what, what else can test positive for nitrates? Guy couldn't answer it. Second person couldn't

answer it. Third person asked you if you had been to a farm. No, they did not. But the third guy finally said, well, the head of the security mob there said, well, if you've walked on grass that has fertilizer on it, then you might test positive for nitrates. Even a certain heart medications that seniors take can test positive for nitrates. Even certain heart medications that seniors take can test positive for nitrates. So I'm now stuck in a glass box, detached from my valuables, watching this poor girl having a meltdown

as these three people are going all over. And I start to cry because it breaks my heart that this is happening. This poor guy is having to go through this. And I go to put my hand on his shoulder and tell him, I'm sorry you have to go through this. And he looks back and he's choked up.

I mean, he's been in there for a good 15 minutes trying to calm down his daughter. So then I start questioning, why are you guys doing this? And I'm being polite. I'm being calm. I'm being everything you could possibly be while asking how much longer this is going to take because I have a flight to catch.

They grab my belongings and start walking them away. And I go, excuse me, what are you doing? You're coming here to this private screening room. No, no, no, I don't want to be in a private screening room. I want this enhanced pat-down to happen right here because I want my girlfriend to videotape it. Well, no, no, no, sir, you're going, by this time my belongings are in the frosted glass

private screening room. Now I'm in the private screening room with them and there's a giant placard that says, this is a private security room. There is no filming whatsoever. If a Tsa employee tells you to stop filming you must seats filming immediately you do have the right to call in a witness to be there and i'm thinking why can't the camera be my witness because if i'm traveling

alone who else am i going to call fucking ghostbusters am i going to bring tsa in here so i'm in a glass box with two dudes by myself he swabs me down with the gloves and then he says i'll be right back i have to test this glove goes puts his hand on the handle of the door with the glove on it that he just wiped me down opens it up and walks out on his merry way so i look to the other guy who's left in the room i'm like what the fuck was that and it was like the first time i had cursed and he goes what do you mean i'm like he just swabbed my body down with that glove then grabbed the handle if someone in here earlier did have explosives on them and he grabbed that handle with that glove, that's now on my test. Why isn't he testing right here? There's a machine in

the room. Oh, sir, that machine's calibration is off. That's why it's here. They have it in the room because the calibration is off. Yeah, there's a tag on it that says it needs to be serviced. Okay, so I'm waiting. Five minutes go by. I strike up conversation with the guy. Hey, that little girl out there in the wheelchair that's having the fit, and I can still hear her having a poor meltdown out there. Why are they out there? Well, he tested positive for nitrates as well. Oh, he did? Yeah. Why is the girl there? Oh, she tested positive for nitrates. Oh, so all three of us have tested positive for nitrates with the one machine that's out there. You've got another one in here that needs servicing and recalibration, and you think

there's nothing wrong with this situation. Guy comes back, tells me I'm clear. I leave the room, and I see the father is still there struggling with his daughter. And I'm like, I'm again, like moved to tears. And I asked this guy, tell me as a human being, do you think this is right? Do you think this treatment for this poor girl is right? And he goes, sir, she tested positive for nitrates. And I went, right, I get that. But there are many other countries who deal with terrorism on a far greater level than we do, who have far more swifter and more common sense approach to security that doesn't demean their citizenry,

that doesn't cost them millions of taxpayer dollars. Do you think that that's right? That that girl's having a meltdown, you're swabbing her wheelchair. Do you really think she's a terrorist? I'm just asking you as a human being. And there was a long pause

and he sort of looked down and looked at his shoes. And I thought, good, I'm finally going to have a moment, a just asking you as a human being. And there was a long pause and he sort of looked down and looked at his shoes and I thought, good, I'm finally going to have a moment, a real moment here as a human being. He's going to take off that TSA helmet for a second. And he looked up and looked me right in the eyes and said, she tested positive for nitrates. And that's when I realized this is a lost cause. This is a losing battle here. You're dealing with a Burger King employee. I used to do a joke about it that I think that the people who work at security and the people that work at Burger King are like

the same people, it's just they reach the hand into a bucket. Who are you today? Oh, I got fries. Damn, I got bomb control. Yep. I'm on foot swabbing, or I'm on rubbing the belt line. Well, I'm security today. Excited. I hate mopping that fucking floor. I'm all for

people having jobs, but we need repair infrastructure, run after school programs, do something that benefits your community and society more than this. Well, I see, I think that we need security at airports. We do. Just because there's been so many instances in the past

of people using airplanes, hijacking airplanes. I believe in- The reinforcing of the doors was the best thing that happened. That was the one security measure that said, look, now as a society,

no one will ever hijack a plane again. If it's sourced in America, if it's flown out of here, everybody in that cabin will fight and die to make sure that plane doesn't get hijacked.

And air marshals too. I think air marshals are important too. I think it's good to have a guy up there who's an actual bad motherfucker who knows how to take care of shit

if some wacky motherfucker tries to blow his shoes up. Right. And some people even make the argument by the way that that guns on planes would have stopped some of 9-11 that if someone actually had a gun on that flight you know and the risk of a bullet going through and the sudden loss of cabin pressure is overrated i don't know that i subscribe to that but i could see how that's a valid argument i could see how someone can make that we do need security but the the leaps and bounds that we've gone to are inefficient they don't work it's costing us millions and millions of dollars the companies yeah the companies suck and they're dealing with gigantic numbers of employees because they have these setups at every goddamn airport in every goddamn city all over this country there's a lot

of fucking airports so there's no way they're really paying attention and monitoring it on a really intense level and looking at it like, how can we make this a better experience for the people? Except for those things where you go and you put your name in and you get scanned and then you go through pre, like TSA pre. Right, like the blue or the clear programs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that I have another issue with because sometimes you have to pay more. So now they're creating another tiered society where the haves don't have the inconveniences. Don't hate on the 1%, dude. Just because they want to get through the airport quicker. I'm one of the guys that can afford the premium tickets so I get through the TSA. I'm blessed. I live a good life.

I see. I see what you have. Listen. Listen, motherfucker. I'm blessed. Did you show me the keys to your car? Sure did. Yeah, the keys to your car sure did yeah the keys to the kingdoms baby the a7 i love it oh my god it's so nice car thank you i love it wow we want

spaceship that's a spaceship it is in the technology in it like it's pretty close to a car that drives itself like i don't touch the gas pedal anymore yeah this is the audi a7 which they passed today by the way self-driving cars driving cars let's do it oh awesome but even back to old cars mine has the the adaptive cruise where you press the button it'll automatically stay with you know it'll match pace with the car in front of it so i don't really even on surface streets like city streets i don't really touch a gas pedal i get it up to speed hit a button and i kind of you know really yeah it's easier to send tweets that way oh and but there has been there has been a time or two where i will

i'm just kind of zoning out i'm not using my phone but i am like oh the car is driving itself and all of a sudden bling and it has the heads-up display so it puts my miles per hour and my turn by turn like on the windshield like you're seeing it out through there it turns bright red and it's like warning collision so i have to slam on the brakes and i'm like fucking r2d2 fell asleep at my wheel fucking short circuit was not paying attention i almost slammed into the car in front of me. Did someone just get in front of you really quick? No, I mean, we were just casually going.

I mean, it's much safer to use those systems on a highway where there might not be so much start and stop. Oh, so it hiccups? Yeah, well, I mean, sometimes it's a little lax. I'm sure it's busy processing my Bluetooth audio and goes, oh, shit, you're driving. It has to switch over to that. My favorite car that I have is my Porsche

because it's the race car, the GT3, because it doesn't have anything in it. It has navigation, but the navigation sucks. Does it have seats in the back? Yeah, no, no seats in the back. Yeah, exactly. It has nothing. And not only that, it doesn't do anything. There's no heads-up display.

It's just mechanical. It's just machine, and you shift the gears yourself. You don't allow the thing to stop and brake. It's the exact opposite. But that does get tiring for a lot of people so yeah I got I got a browse reddit like I don't have time to shift gears I got to catch up on my news do you really my video joking around about that but you really shouldn't I don't what I don't really know what you're showing in your car no and no one no one should live out rape fantasies either some girls like that

though I don't think anybody likes running so over I'll drive because they were tweeting while driving yeah it's uh eventually it's going to be really smooth where you're going to be able to accomplish that stuff as you're driving but i don't even trust people do you even well the law just passed for self-driving cars how do you feel about that in california they're street legal it's been effective they've been using it google's been using it for quite a while you could you could find it online the only known collision, or at least six months ago when I was reading about it, the only known collision in one of those Google self-driving cars was when the operator took it out of self-drive mode and was manually driving it.

But they still had to document it because it was a collision with the car. Well, I think that I enjoy driving. I enjoy the experience of shifting my own gears. I look at, like, when you have a fun car, like the GT3, driving becomes like a ride. I take a ride home. Right. But not when you have a commute. Yeah. That's not fun. Like shifting gears when you're stopped on the 405 and holding in a clutch. Yeah. That's shitty. And so to let my car drive and then maybe free me up to do an extra hour of productive work or focus on my book on tape my audible.com slash joe

download to focus on that yes that makes sense to me oh totally but you know what doesn't make sense that kind of traffic you see we're gonna we're gonna figure out a way to not disappear anytime soon i i am gonna disappear i'm not gonna live like this my whole life i i tried escaping once i'm gonna try again i don't know i'm thinking maybe santa barbara i might i might try santa barbara for a while because it's only like an hour away. Are you going to live in the zoo? You're going to have them build you a – you should have them build you a little cabin in a tiger cage.

That shit bums me out. We might be living in a fucking zoo. How about that, pal? How about this whole planet might be a zoo? Look at this robot guy with his Google Glasses. Oh, my God. I can't wait. Creating silly California cars.

Did you check out Black Mirror, by the way? Did you guys look at that shit? Did you watch that? No. No. No. God damn it, Joe. So many things to watch, man.

God damn it, Joe. But I did see the Lil Wayne deposition. Oh, my God. Did you see that? The one that's been making the... Zero bucks given. You've got to pull it up. Because I just became a Lil Wayne fan.

Oh, me too. I was not a Lil Wayne fan up until this. I love that dude now. It was that Chappelle skit of I plead the fifth. Yeah. I'm thinking of getting a Lil Wayne tattoo. Oh, me too. I was not a little Wayne fan up until this. I love that dude now. It was that Chappelle skit of I plead the fifth. Yeah, I'm thinking of getting a little Wayne tattoo. Okay? That's how badass this dude is. Yeah, man. He's suing these people

because they made a documentary about him and apparently he has a lot of false information according to Mr. Wayne. And so they asked him a bunch of stupid questions at this deposition but the way he answered it was beautiful. It was hilarious, man. And I love the veiled threat, which many have debated whether or not it's a threat.

Don't even say it. Wait, you don't want to spoil it? We're going to play it. All right. There you go. It happened just a couple of days ago. It's pretty great. And it's hard to get without the world star hip hop.

That is my new homepage, man. What is that those the watermark watermark yeah i love me some world star hip-hop yeah that's my problem if you go to my computer and you type in w in the browser it just goes it knows i want to see some fucked up are you gonna watch that kanye sex tape when it leaks on that site is there a connor there's? There's two of them. Two of them? Kanye West has sex tapes? Yeezy. Really? Yeah, and there's a rumor that one of them is with the Kardashian,

but apparently it's a lookalike girl from, they have a video of her from some booty shaking contest, which I love that that is a competitive sport. Is he doing this on purpose, releasing these? He's apparently offered millions of dollars to stop the release, so I don't know. I doubt. At his level, at this point, why would he need to do that?

So the girls are releasing it? No, I think they were stolen off of his computer. Stolen off of his computer. Stolen, which who knows if someone physically stole them or hacked in or whatever. But that's what I read. Is this it? Oh, Animal Practice! Let's watch Animal Practice!

Bobby Lee. How would you describe your image in the media? How would I describe my image in the media? How would I describe my image in the media? Yes. I wouldn't describe it. Well, how would you describe it if you had to? I don't have to. Well, what image are you portraying in the media?

I don't portray anything. I am who I am. And you guys portray what you get. Who are you? Who is the real? I am. And you guys portray what you get. No, who are you? Who is the real? I am Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr. Okay. Do you like to portray yourself as?

I just answered that and said that I don't like to portray myself as nobody. Okay. He's answered the question. I completely be Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr. I don't portray myself as anything. An image is self-described. Well, you have to wait till I'm done with the question. I don't portray myself as anything. An image is self-described. Well, you have to wait till I'm done with the question.

I don't have to wait to anything, honestly. I mean, this guy right here may tell me that I have to wait, but personally, I don't have to do nothing. Go ahead, ask the question. Thank you, Your Honor. Do you like to... No, he can't save you, right? In the real world. That guy right there. He can't save you in the real world. That guy right there, he can't save you in the real world. What does that mean? I don't have to elaborate. Is that a threat against us? Mr. Ross, can you just ask your next question, please?

Progression of time. the hoodie is off He can't save you And what does that mean? I was talking to myself Oh my god He can't save you in the real world Oh my god Love it He's a beautiful human being

Love it What a great fuck you to that lawyer That was beautiful Yeah That was beautiful Because that guy was talking to him In that was beautiful yeah that was because that guy was talking to him in that like weird formal speak that you have to do if you give a deposition right that's like not human it's like it's weird it takes it's almost like removing a lot of context

removing a lot it's like they speak like text messages there's no emotion there's no context it's just it's a legal document flowing out of someone's mouth because he's writing yeah the the question he's transcribing it as he goes it needs to sound legally correct well i thought it was brilliant that he was trying to get little wayne to define himself right and what a bullshit question yeah how would you describe the media's portrayal i wouldn't i wouldn't and it also depends what site depends what outlet you don't have how would you describe the media's portrayal of you, Joe? Fear factor guy. Really?

You think that's still the case? The UFC guy, maybe? Maybe the UFC guy. Meathead? Little midget meathead? But doesn't it depend on what outlet? Yeah. Well, it depends on whether they like you or they don't like you.

Exactly. Sure, for sure. It depends on whether or not they have a motivation. I think it's pretty clear at this point that what you're getting on the news is not just the information of all the things that's happening all over the world. They have an agenda. Right. And if their agenda is to mock you, if you're a celebrity who they love, they might talk about you in glowing terms. Right.

Or if you're a celebrity who – Even if you get arrested because you slammed your SUV into a pole while doing rails of cocaine, it's like... No, no, they wouldn't then. Then they always talk down on you, but I'm saying... It depends on the celebrity. You could be a person like Jennifer Lopez is getting married, and that's a piece of news, or you could be like Lindsay Lohan

crashed her car again. I think it does depend on the celebrity, because I think like, well, Mel Gibson had another oopsie today on the side of the road. No, they hate that guy. That guy's done. But there are some celebrities that they treat with kid gloves because they're worried they won't sit down for the next junket to promote their movie.

I don't think there's... I don't think anymore, man. I really don't think too many people get... I feel like I've worked in it too much to know what people will say and won't say because they're afraid they'll lose access. I feel like when you get a certain level of of fucked-up in this though drunk driving you drown kittens in a barrel all bets are off but there are some they'll forgive some celebrities and they'll forgive some personalities if they feel like later on

it might they might benefit them or if they're worried certainly if they're trying to get more interviews right yes yeah they were worried about pulling the thing pulling about like Apple is one of those companies that blogs are afraid to write about. It's a bit of a tangent. But they're afraid to write about them in certain negative ways because they're worried they won't be allowed into their conference or get an early review unit. Right, that has happened.

Yeah, they pulled all the plugs for Gizmodo once Gizmodo leaked that iPhone stuff. Once they got the guy's iPhone from the bar. Oh, that's right. They said, fuck you, Gizmodo will never get a thing again. They'll never get a unit. To this day, they still don't even get in there. They're not going to forgive those grudges.

Wow. Yeah. How rude, Apple. Steve Jobs is dead. Can't we all just get along? You fucks. You getting a five? What's this Black Mirror?

Yeah, I am now. Dude, I plugged Black Mirror violently on this last podcast, and everybody was like, thank you so much for introducing me to this. This is just one of the episodes here. It is the best. It's a Channel 4 miniseries. I don't need to belabor it because I did it last time. And what's it about again?

It's about near future societal issues that will come about because of the rapid changing pace of technology. Wow. That is the seed that sprouts each of the three episodes. And they're all completely different, completely different aesthetics, completely completely different directors but they're all fascinating they're phenomenally written i find it interesting that we're talking about it as like like problems in the future it's really not problems we're the problem the reality is the assimilation is well i said the societal issues because like we were talking about google glasses right when you have the ability to to life vlog when when the device is light enough powerful enough cheap enough and easy enough to i record 24 hours here whatever i see and i can

play it back like that that's what one of the issues or one of the episodes is about so you watch a couple try to navigate a relationship where every moment is fucking recorded right so he's like i want to see what happened june 12th when you were with that guy at 3 p.m show me that moment pull it up you know she's frantically trying to delete it. Hey, when we had that argument two hours ago, you said this and it really upset me. I didn't say it like that. Oh, yeah? Boom.

Pull that moment up and look at it. Like that's an issue that will happen. There's a commercial that they were running really recently about a dash cam. They sell dash cams now. So the guy pulls over someone and it's like this is a reenactment of an actual accident in new york city and uh the woman goes this guy hit me and the the guy goes up to the the cop and says uh would you like me to tell you what happened or show you what happened and the cop said what do you mean he goes i have a dashboard camera and it shows him the camera and clearly it shows the

woman hitting him right so he goes ma'am let me just tell you that lying to an officer is you know a crime do you want to go to jail? Tell me the truth. And she goes, okay, I hit him. Yeah. If you search for a Russian dash cam or a Russian insurance fraud dash cam. Okay, but hold on. Is that bad? What? Because it seems like the guy's protected

from accidents. That seems good. And maybe like a cop beating your ass. That's another possibility. Some cop who's having a hard day decides to kick your ass because he thinks no one's watching. I certainly didn't mean to imply that technology will only lead to negative societal consequences. This miniseries just happens to explore them in that way. Just the negative ones? Yeah, it does it in a beautiful poetic way.

With that said, you know this, I'm a proponent of the point of singularity. Of the Borg. I want transcendentalism. Like put as much plastic, put PC parts in me. Of course, you're already not driving your fucking car. Exactly, let's go. Put it in me. I wanted to get RFID chip back when RFID first came out so I could have all my credit cards, my remote entry, and my badges to my work.

I wanted them all to be put in there so I could just swipe my hand. You know, that was one thing that the... What are you watching brian is this an accident yeah i think what happened is this lady backs into a cop and i'm what i'm guessing is that she's going to say something like you ran into the back well there are there are great videos of like people in china and russia like running at cars that are parked in the streets and then leaping onto the hoods and rolling off right and getting up and going oh i'm back but they're literally charging the cars what were you just saying before brian showed this video uh talking about the transhumanism about the rfid chip where you swipe and have it put in that's it um mythbusters said that that was the one episode that they were not allowed to air

they couldn't do an episode on the rfid chips they were told by their network that that was a subject of interest they could not explore. You know what happened with those guys? I don't know if you heard the story, but they were going to do it and the guys behind the RFID tech and chip makers said,

yeah, we just want to get on the phone with you to discuss the technology and discuss the show before we help you out or whatever. And so they hopped on the line and on the other side of the line was like 40 lawyers from credit card companies,

from security firms, saying you cannot do this episode. cannot talk about rfid it is the most unsecure fucking system in the world absolutely unsecure you can build cheap pringles can readers for them pull the data right off of them you can hack them you can clone them there's uh good videos of the uh okay well why don't you explain to everybody who doesn't know what the fuck does rfid mean uh it's remote i believe it's remote frequency identification it's basically a think of the chip the size of a grain of rice or sometimes they're like flat they're very very low to no power devices that can be passively read so if you have a beacon a reader they even like so they can put it in your phone they can put it in your clothes phone clothes they use it

like a security systems and malls when you walk through a reader that's because a lot of them are rfid based it has pinged the the product and that sent it off and said, okay This is you know a security barrier being reached those little credit cards when you tap them to readers a lot of that is RFID Some of it is near field communication, which is a slightly different standard that's coming about now But there's a lot of RFID swiping for security and buildings that all exists. It's been hacked to high heaven You can buy RFID readers. You can read all the information. You can hack at passports that have RFID in them now. They're very unsafe.

You know, people can pull out your info. They can clone it. They can copy it. You know, I'm not entirely sure. There's great videos of BMWs now being hacked. They sell blank keys that you can code the wireless key start on them. And there's a pretty easy process to just pop it into the car and have it write the new key code to it like a dealer kind of thing and you can start the cars and drive off now they fixed it since and it's not just not just a bmw thing but these guys can be

read and hacked and that's why they don't want the mythbusters to talk about it because we're now building foundations and we're building institutions in our daily lives that are that are built on on fault faulty security premises. Like, we're all becoming very comfortable with near-field communication and tapping things and whatever, and yet they're completely hackable and easily cloned and easily broken. Is it something that can be fixed in the future, and they don't want to alert people before they develop a fix for it? Well, look, if they've invested millions of dollars in creating new systems and transitioning

their key cards and passports to this technology, the last thing they want is a security concern. But this is an age-old problem. Security is always an issue. It's built by a human being. It'll be broken by a human being. So there's no really fixing it. You can make it stronger. You can make it smarter.

Sure. There's no real fixing it. So the future of the world when it comes to technology, and it is dependent upon our cooperation because at some point in time, we're going to all have access to anything. Essentially, we're going to all be readable everywhere we go. Oh, sure. All the time.

We're heading that way right now. It's almost like it's setting itself up so that no one can ever really truly be in control and that it does have to be a sort of a group decision at the very top because at a certain point in time like right now who's tracking in what regard like what i'm saying is right now if you're looking at technology right now the government's tracking us. They have GPS in your phone. So is Facebook and Apple. There's GPS in your phone. The GPS in your phone knows exactly where your location is.

But at a certain point in time, I'm going to know where your location is too. It's not going to just be the government. It's going to be anybody who wants to know. It's going to get to the point where everything is going to be accessible. Well, we'll accept that for convenience. Like there are apps now that allow me to find my friends or there's an app where I can send you a temporary GPS tracking token for my phone.

So if we're all trying to meet up at a restaurant or an amusement park, you don't have to text me and say, dude, where are you? You can pull me up on a map and see that I'm five minutes away and it'll give you what street I'm on. So we'll accept some of that in the name of convenience.

And fun. And fun. It's kind of fun. It's fun. Your friend can... At Coachella, oh, hey, look, we're all little dots running around. Let's play a Pac-Man game. That's pretty dope, actually. Yeah, no, that will be cool, and we'll accept that to an extent,

but then we will also have privacy controls, which A, will likely be able to be hacked, and B, the government will not... They'll ignore those. The government, man! They fucking will, though, unless they want to know. Did you see that they have... that Apple has... it's a trademark or a patent on a technology that allows the government to disable the recording of a phone?

Yes. It allows people to shut off the phone's video capabilities remotely so that you can't videotape protests. Well, or they don't specifically say protests. That's the best reason for it. Why else would you want it? It's for your security is what they say. For your security. Why would it ever be in your best interest and not be able to videotape something

we need a new digital bill of rights that says that if by the way let me just say for the record that they're the reason for developing this technology is that apple is involved in many patent lawsuits and all and so when it comes to the ability to record bands the ability i mean you're getting to a point where, you know, the new phone has eight megapixels. The fucking video is fantastic. You can almost get something that you could put out, and it would be a really good version of it.

And the problem with that is you could record people and then put their shit online. So they want to be able to have a concert and say, well, you can't record this concert. Especially for stand-up comedians, it becomes a real problem when you go to a concert and say well you can't record this concert especially for stand up comedians it becomes a real problem when you go to a town and everybody knows your shit so that's Apple's idea

is that they would set it up so that if there was a concert you couldn't record the concert they would shut off but A I still think that's a huge security concern that could be a wild security concern it's an awesome move for fucking Samsung because everybody's going to want to go Android.

Oh, yeah. Fuck this. Easy. Yeah, they'll be like, fuck this. Or they'll build the feature into their phones and then have to pay Apple millions of dollars once they sue. Right. One of the two will happen there.

How does that work? There's a great app. The name is escaping me, but it actually stitches together multiple recordings based off of visual cues and audio waveforms and time codes. So if you're at a concert, if you're at a Coachella, and there's 40 people in the crowd that are filming it with their iPhones, they can all upload their video,

and it will stitch those angles together as best as it can so you can kind of jump around. That's badass. That's getting awesome. That's crazy. Yeah, that's fucking cool. Dude, that's a mind-fucking-a-half, isn't it? But you won't be using it and streaming it live

thanks to Verizon's data caps. What is Verizon's data caps now? Any company that's selling limited data plans right now is stifling innovation and fucking consumers over and fucking over entire industries. Who doesn't have limited? Sprint is the only one, but they barely have a network. They have a decent network.

I've been using it, dude, for Ting, and it's good. It's a shadow of what AT&T and Verizon provide. As far as 4G, maybe. Right, yeah, absolutely. But not as far as coverage. No, no, no, it's fine for coverage, but the problem is that now we're training customers and consumers to second-guess their decisions when it comes to data.

Like, could you imagine on your home computer second-guessing downloading World of Warcraft?craft well you might because you don't play it but downloading a movie streaming netflix because you're worried about the money you're worried about the data caps now and it's we're going back we're regressing from unlimited back to the days of you got 90 free hours or four free megs on prodigy so it used to be unlimited and then with the iphone it really kind of clogged up the network right that? That was the big concern with AT&T. With smartphones in general, that signaled the shift

from being a traditional voice device to now I rarely make calls on my phone. I'm sending texts. I'm streaming videos. I'm tweeting. I'm on Reddit, Facebook. Yeah, we never talk on the phone. Yeah.

Text each other. Yeah, and we Skype because it's easier to see. I feel like you're so close to me. You can cuddle me through the internet. But to that point, I did like two Skype sessions on the road with a Verizon little 4G hotspot, a little jet pack.

And I used up 3.9 gigs in just like an hour of video chat. Right. And so now I was afraid to check emails and do work. And I'm like, this is bad for an entire industry. This will stifle innovation because the Instagram of video might not get created if it takes up too much bandwidth. Well, why is cellular so much more expensive than, say, broadband? Because they can.

Is that all it is? Because they can. They would say it's because it's more expensive to launch the satellites and the bandwidth itself is crazy expensive. I mean, you can throttle during peak usage, but there's no reason to limit how much data I can suck down at 3 a.m. Your network is not that congested. The air is there. Is it more expensive for them if people use more or is it there well it's more taxing on their system and their infrastructure that's what i

ask you or is it that their system can't handle it sure i mean at some point yes it gets to that but it's so that's a way of limiting it by getting people to pay more right but the price of i mean there's been studies that show that what you pay now for bandwidth even though it is more expensive and it's faster what you pay now for bandwidth is exponentially higher than what you used to pay. And bandwidth should be getting cheaper. And the problem that I had, like I went in to get a jet pack from Verizon and A, you have to pay to be a new customer, right?

Just to put you in a system. You have to pay for the SIM card, essentially, that they're gonna pop into your device that you're gonna tether to the account. You have to pay for the device itself, sign up for a contract. Then with their data plans, you have to pay for the data itself sign up for a contract then with their data plans you have to pay for the data you have to buy the bandwidth the four gigs a month and you have to pay extra to tether to the device that you just bought that you're under contract for you have to pay to tether that to the data like i don't mean to get

on the nerdiest soapbox in the fucking world but that is bullshit that's like going into a restaurant paying to go into the door paying to sit down for your table ordering water you have to pay for the water pay for the cup that it's going to go into and then when you go to drink the water they're like no no no you have to tether a straw to that water i know you just bought that one you're paying monthly you're paying out the ass for it even though it's just coming from a garden hose but you got to pay to tether a straw to sip that water it's fucking highway robbery yeah is that gonna get better maybe how can you how can you fix that you'd have to have more companies get involved there's got to be collusion going on because once once once verizon announces we're gonna do this type of a

data plan at&t follows suit sooner or later sprint will once their network gets more popular and the devices get sold there verizon can't you can't use data and calls at the same time even under 4G, under the new phone. On the new iPhone, you can't. I think you can on LTE, can you not? You can on LTE. Because it reverts to the 3G network. You can on every single phone except the iPhone. On Verizon's network. You can or can't?

You can't. You can't do it on the iPhone, but you can do that on every single phone except the iPhone. So if you buy like the Galaxy S3, you can do it. I iPhone, but you can do that on every single phone except the iPhone. So if you buy the Galaxy S3, you can do it. I love the Galaxy. I hate those commercials.

No better way to make me not give a shit about your product than by spending three minutes of air time telling me that I'm a douchebag. Why are you watching commercials? I don't watch commercials. Well, they happen before web videos now, and sometimes they're hard to skip.

I just fucking close my eyes and hit mute. What do you think about the Samsung Note? You me bitch have you played with the note i haven't really thought about the note much the galaxy note kind of guy the galaxy note phone that's sort of a half tablet oh that one we reviewed it on attack when i was still there delicious what it's delicious holding a giant tablet i have big hands doesn't bother me i like it it looks like a bluetooth headset on you does not on me me. I love it. Does not on me. I need it in my life. Have you haven't seen those commercials

where they show people waiting in line for the iPhone? Oh, yeah, I have. It makes them look like assholes talking about the incremental features. I'm like, listen, spend your 30 seconds telling me why your phone is better, which they barely do in the commercial. They just spend time trying to make me feel like an asshole

because I use an iPhone. Yeah. I'm not opposed to your advice. It's a political tactic. Not at all. It's a terrible tactic. It's like Mitt Romney's doing. Because if you want to tap into a guy like me.

Making fun of Obama. Sell his product. He's selling Mitt Romney by making fun of Obama. I mean, that's what he's doing. He's doing a great job of selling it, too. Hey, he knows what he's doing. He's doing a great job. He knows he has to get just the 53% of the country that pays taxes.

Those are his people. Fuck the freeloaders. Don't care about them. It's everybody else. Anybody who doesn't pay income tax tax he doesn't give a fuck about that was one of the biggest gaffes in political history why wasn't it a gaffe though

no it's not well it is a gaffe because you don't think George Bush Senior George Bush W you don't think those guys think the exact same way

well that's what I mean yeah it was a gaffe in the sense that it got out and he said it but that's what they really think of course he's a businessman of course that's what they think there's never been

a businessman that looked out for people you think about a guy like and he said it, but that's what they really think. Of course he's a businessman. Of course that's what they think. There's never been a businessman that looked out for people. You think about a guy like, and he's a ruthless businessman. When you get to be. The Bain capital of the world. You get hundreds of millions of dollars of profit, ladies and gentlemen. You don't do it by doing what's best for people. You do it by doing what's best for your company. You do it by maximizing ones and zeros.

That's it. And you do it at the expense of humanity. It's a creepy idea that a businessman... There's no soul on the spreadsheet. You're a one and a zero. You're a bottom line to a businessman. That's it. This smacks of racism.

Like, I am not an Obama fan. I do not like what he's done as far as civil liberties go. I think as a human being, he seems like a great guy. I don't understand why he's such a shit president. Because as a human being, I like a great guy i i don't understand why such a shit president because as a human being i see he he the way he interacts with people i he seems like a genuine fun guy like the way you hear stories of him in college he smoked a lot of weed but it's it's it's super super disappointing to me and then i but there's a big difference between him and Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney is a creepy-ass businessman. And the idea that this guy, being a businessman,

would somehow or another be better for this country, I don't believe you think that. I think you're racist. That's what I think it is. I think there's a lot of people that just want to believe that Mitt Romney would do a better job because he's a businessman and he would get things done. And Obama's for the redistribution of wealth.

But then you press them about it. They really don't even know what the fuck that means. 90% of the people that talk about Obama being for the redistribution of wealth, they don't even understand what the real concern amongst these socialist ideas are. Most of what he's saying is really not a redistribution of wealth in the classical sense. It's not like trying to steal money from people and Robin Hood the motherfucker. But you talk to a guy like Mitt Romney and he will put ones and zeros ahead of people for fucking sure. And he will think that if rich people get richer, they will make more jobs for the poor people and the poor people will

be okay. And he will cut away funding and he will ultimately do things that are not good for people that are struggling good for people that are struggling. That's what I believe. When you talk about his tax policies and you find out that middle class people will actually have to pay more money. Taxes are going up on him. An average $2,000 more per year.

Fuck you, man. Fuck you. For a guy who paid 14%. Yeah, it's incredible that people would say that this guy seems like he'd be a good choice. I say even for what he's saying he would do, I don't believe that he's going to do anything he says he'll do. Because Obama didn't do anything he said he would do. Didn't close down Guantanamo Bay. He didn't stop fucking with the medical pot shops.

He didn't do anything he said he was going to do. He didn't pull out of Iraq until years after. We're still there, by the way. We never really pull out. We have a fucking enormous base there Filled with soldiers There's no pulling out There's no pulling out anywhere We have bases in a hundred countries plus

So, but just with Mitt Romney Just what Mitt Romney says he would do I'm like, you really want that? Fuck you, man Fuck you, you don't want that You just want a white guy You wanna I've talked to people

I'm like, listening to the things they're saying And they don't even really know what the fuck mitt romney stands for they don't know what he's done and i think that's i think that is true i don't necessarily know that their decision though is rooted in racism i think it's just kind of rooted in a general ignorance about what he's really done there's that but there's also this certainly there's a swath of racists out there. He's a Mormon. I can't say that enough. That's a silly thing to be. I have friends who are Mormons.

That hasn't really come up in a way that I thought it would. Well, you can't. You can't really bring it up because there's a lot of people in this country that are religious. And if you start making fun of religion, you're going to lose a big giant chunk of them. No one is saying, ladies and gentlemen, there's no God. I am the last person to say there's no God. You know why? Because I haven't died, and because I've experienced some things in this life that are completely unexplainable.

I'm not sure that reality makes any sense. I'm not sure that reality is just something you can touch and feel. I have a feeling there's many more layers to this that we're not perceiving. There could easily be something like a God, but I'll tell you there's many more layers to this that we're not perceiving. There could easily be something like a God, but I'll tell you what's not real, Mormonism. It's not real that a fucking kid in 1820, who was 14 years old, a kid named Joseph Smith, found golden tablets that contained the lost work of Jesus, and that only he could read them, because he had a magic rock. An ex-con, by the way. Yeah. Well, not at 14 he wasn't. At 14 he was just a con man.

He became an ex-con and a polygamist, by the way. They fucking took over Europe because he wanted to bang multiple bitches. He didn't want to be married to one broad. The idea that you think that that guy had it all wrapped up, that he was the messiah, that he was the prophet, you're a fucking idiot, okay? That's a Dr. Seuss book. It's not even a good a dr seuss book it's

not even a good dr seuss book he found a magic rock so he could read the tablets that's nonsense so if you're saying that you are a nonsense person no you can't be the president at least like christianity and at least islam and it's we don't know the people who wrote them. It's old, old, old, old, old shit. When things get over a thousand years old, it gets super blurry as to who really wrote it. But we know the guy who wrote the Book of Mormon. We know the fucking guy.

You can read the wiki and see how it all got started because Jball17 lays it out. Did you know that they believe that there's another planet and then the Osmond Brothers had an album based on this planet? Yes. What is the fucking planet? The Mormon planet? Like Kleptar.

Oh, something ridiculous. Mormon planet Osmond album. And when I say this, people say, Who the fuck are you? You're you fucking atheist fucking this i i am not an atheist i'm not an atheist but i am not a believer in bullshit and it's a weird thing to me that in this day and age you can look at something that obvious and people resist the idea that that's bullshit you resist the idea that did jesus really come

back from the dead you really i'm not saying jesus didn't exist i don't fucking know that jesus existed but i guarantee you he didn't fucking just die and magically come back to life and it's written down and because some crazy fucks that wrote a bunch of other questionable shit down that clearly thought that slavery was okay clearly treated women as second class citizens clearly said that you should fucking be killed if you wear two different types of cloth at the same time. I mean, there's so much Looney Tunes shit with that book. But you can't live your life based on it. But the Mormons figured out the loophole

for banging multiple wives at the same time. You gotta hand them that, and I could see why someone would subscribe to that. The planet is called Kolob. Yeah. K-O-L-O-B. And the Osmonds have in their album, well, they have one album called Kolob. And if you pull up the image of it, Brian, Osmond Brothers, K-O-L-O-B, it's really weird

because they have pictures drawn inside of what they think. Of the planet, of what it would look like, artist renderings. Yeah. I met Donny Osmond, Donny Osmond. I did his show a couple of times. I did the Donny and Marie show with the news radio cast and I did it by myself once. And,

uh, Donny Osmond is a very nice guy, but, uh, I showed him, uh, some pictures of, uh,

some, some, I think some girl pulled her tits out at the comedy store. Oh no, that's not what it was it was a black hooker when i was filming that's filming fear factor i took this picture of this this black hooker who's walking down the street eating a sandwich is like the great sasquatch photo from you know like from the patterson gimlin footage footage it's literally half obscured by a telephone pole as she's eating the sandwich.

It's the greatest photo. It's the greatest photo. I don't even know if it can be found online. If you can find it online. Google hooker cheeseburger. Is it online? No. She was eating a meatball sub, and she pulled her tit out,

and she's got a meatball sub in her hand. She's got a blonde wig. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she pulled her tit out for me. Well, she was a hooker. She was trying to drum up some business. I think that was viral for yeah, yeah. And she pulled her tit out for me. Well, she was a hooker. She was trying to drum up some business. I think that was a viral for Subway. I think she lost her sign.

Trust me. I was there. It was real. The universe smiled upon me. So you show it to Donnie. I show this to Donnie. And I go, check this shit out. I got this fucking picture today on the set.

And Donnie Osmond looked at me like I just ate his cat in front of him. He looked at me like I just gave him poison, shattered his world, ruined his chances at heaven. I wish you were recording that reaction. The poor guy was shocked. I mean, he was legitimately shocked. And I thought about it. I was like, how has this guy gotten through show business? And I've met like Bret Michaels.

He was a very nice guy. I met Tom Sizemore. I met some real freaks. And they were very nice guys that have gotten to this high level of show business. I'm like, how is this guy so weird? How is he so weird? Like, he doesn't – he's freaked out by pussy. Has he seen Cake Farts or Two Girls, One Cup?

I don't think he's seen anything. Because that needs to be a mission. He's a super – We need to get that for Mormon. Great. We need to get it in front of him and record that reaction. Listen to Marie order him around. It was magical. Is this your photo? Yeah, that's it. That's a real photo. We need to get it in front of him and record that reaction. Listen to Marie order him around. It was magical.

Is this your photo? Yeah, that's it. That's a real photo. I can't show it. You can't show it? Yes, you can. Oh, because of Ustream? Yeah.

Really? Listen, it's a woman's breast. Let's take a chance. Scroll it up real quick. It's a real woman. Look at that. I got flashed by the flash. The woman, the breast was, I mean, it was perfect.

That's fantastic. It draped over the hand. It's literally like those photos on the moon where they're standing in a spotlight. There's no way this could have actually been set up that perfectly. And it was a stupid-ass camera, too. It was a shitty Motorola flip phone. Motorola EA15, I think. It's not even like a one megapixel, I don't think.

I think it was maybe one megapixel. It might I don't think I mean I think it was maybe one megapixel it might have been a megapixel but it just was the perfect photo the lighting was perfect I love that picture

I love that picture that is proof that there is a God because they smiled favorably upon you and gave you that moment in this world beautifully lit

I feel like there's something to that and perfectly lit and it was my background image on my computer but every time I would open it up on a plane

I'd get fucking shitty looks. I had, I had, I would try to like put folders in front of her tit, but people would still get mad at me. Icons on the private. Yeah. I tried to put them in there that people would still like,

what really? I still leave landmines in my phone, like in my photo and just in the, in the photo roll, because every now and then someone might pick up a phone or if I'm on a set, I always make sure the wallpaper's interesting in case the phone goes off so someone sees

just dudes fisting each other or something brilliant and they always kind of look at, oh, your phone, you got a tip and they never finish what I got. You got a, oh, okay.

It's my favorite thing in the world. He's just thinking this is the guy who calls him and then he sees the picture of guys fisting when this guy calls him

but no, it's every call. Yeah, it's the default wallpaper. There was a while where it was a Photoshop of me getting by ryan seacrest which someone had made for me and put it on a cake uh to celebrate me going on e-news i think brilliant photo that is one of my favorite things though about the iphone is that big ass picture that comes up when someone calls i think that is amazing that that to me is like very futuristic like if you call me and i look at my phone and I see your face, I'm like, wow, that's kind of crazy. That still fucking trips me out. Like FaceTime is getting there, but the ability to click and it's them video calling you, that's where it's at.

Did you find Colob yet? K-O-L-O-B. K-O-L-O-B. Yeah, you've got to see. It's fucking nonsense. I think it might be called The Plan. It's fucking nonsense. I think that they... It might be called The Plan. The Plan?

Yeah. Their album is called The Plan? Yeah, it might not be called, but it might be called The Plan. Isn't that album songs about Mormonism, too? It's all in there. Yeah, they talk about the crazy shit that they believe in. I mean, it's one of the nuttiest...

You need to see Book of Mormon. Yeah, and I should see it. Yeah, it's great. It's also one of those religions where they are involved in the most arrests for having cults and fucking kids like whenever some polygamy guy gets busted, first of all

it could just be that they're setting them up with the kid fucking thing but that's how they get them you know the polygamy thing well who can resist well now they're also, you know vice.com has been doing a whole series on where Mitt Romney came from. That Mitt Romney came from a religious sect of America,

American Mormons that moved to Mexico so they could still bang multiple wives because polygamy became outlawed. So they were like, well, fuck you. We'll just move over here. So now they're involved in like armed war with the cartels. So it's the cartels versus the romneys in mexico like there's drug wars going on they're kidnapping them romneys have been kidnapped other

people have been kidnapped it's fucking crazy who has more money the cartels of the romneys that's the question cartels do cartels buy a long shot they have gold everything those guys make gold toothbrushes gold guns have you ever seen like how these guys... Gold jet skis. Yeah, when they kill them and they find all this shit. It's really inefficient. Gold pistols and... You got any photos?

No, I don't see it. I just pulled it up in three seconds, you fuck. Come on. Are you using Bing? Bing it. Just Mormon Planet Osman album. Dog pilot.

Look up Mormon Planet Osman album. Load all to Vista. And it's the first Google image. It's called The Plan. And if you look in it's the first google image it's this is it's called the plan and if you uh look in it the other google images there's one where it's got god's hand that's holding the planet oh that's kind it's so bizarre he has the whole world in his hands yeah it's it's so yeah look at that no that's not it that's not it i want to know who that guy is i like that he wore his the osman brothers bro are you talking about this right here mormon planet osman album yes that's the that's the album the plan and if you look

deep inside the album as you uh try album art you have a google is there a google image search google just do a google image search if you um i can ask siri more what do you how many things you have groped mormon planet osman album what do you have mormon planet osman brothers plan the plan yeah get all that other stuff out come on now yeah there it is the camera see that is uh that's the the god holding the hand there he is holding the uh the planet that's colob he just got his grip that's the planet. That's Kolob. He just got us gripped. That's the planet where, like, I guess God limbs or something. Like, it's like such a shitty rhyme, or such a shitty story.

It should be a rhyme. It should be a Dr. Seuss rhyme. A kid who finds golden tablets. You know, they came looking for the tablets. Like, where are these tablets? He said angels came and took them away. That was his answer. Yeah.

Like, that, you shitbag, little fuck, bad story writing asshole. Like, that's, it's live journal quality writing. It's not even. Live journal is way better than that. Back in 1820, you didn't have to show your sources. No, you didn't have to cite anything.

And this fucking guy who wrote this stuff, I mean, this just Joseph Smith character, I mean, it's a painfully bad story. I just, none of the, it's tough that it plays a role at all in society and politics. It's insane. It's insane.

That's the saddest part. And I'm not saying, again, I'm not saying I have any answers. I certainly don't have any answers. But I am saying that as human beings, you know, forget about religious freedom at a certain point in time. You have to have the ability to rationally express what the fuck is going on.

And when you take into consideration a guy's qualifications to be a leader, one of them has to be whether or not he's a gullible fuck. It's really that simple. You have freedom of expression when it comes to religion, and that is fine and great. Believe what you want but when your religious beliefs uh influence policy which affects my freedom well suddenly i don't have religious freedom because i don't believe in the crazy shit or what i deem to be you know not crazy that's a very good and now your religion is informing my life it's determining what i can and can't do it's a very good point and it's also that religion like in in choosing to believe something, especially something as ridiculous as Mormonism,

that in choosing to believe in it, it sort of defines you as a person. And I'm allowed to judge you in that sense, if you're trying to run for a position of leadership. I have to look at you as a potential leader. There are a lot of people that I respect deeply in this world for their intellect, for their mind. But I've had some people that I even really deeply respect, and they have these really big hiccups when it comes to religion. Sure. And when that happens, that part of, I know, I can't have that conversation with you anymore

because you've got a wall up. You've got an illogical spot. You've got a little mind cancer in there. Well, you can't just rationalize. I remember having a conversation with a school teacher. And he was a really smart guy. He was an interesting guy.

And he said there was, someone said something about God and about how there's no other way. I forget what it was. And I said, so you've seen evidence of stuff that shows there's no other way that something could have existed except for a God? And he goes, yes.

As a matter of fact, molecules have been shown to be so complex, it would be impossible for us to even imagine that, let alone create them. That alone has to be proof of a God. And the guy was like, yes, yes, it must be. And the woman was like, alone has to be proof of a God. And the guy was like, yes, yes, it must be. And the woman was like, it has to be proof of a God. I was like, that is the craziest thinking I've ever heard. That means that a molecule to you is the proof of the God, not the fucking universe. The universe, which is composed of molecules, by the way, that are all touching each other.

And by the way. And are all nothing. A thousand years ago. They're all filled with air. A thousand years ago, we didn't know there were molecules. Yeah. So it's preposterous to go, well, this is too complex. We'll never solve this.

We didn't even know. You didn't have a usage for that word or knowledge of what it was until science discovered, oh, there are these little things. And clearly we have light years to go. But this guy, this was what he was until science discovered, oh, there are these little things. And clearly we have light years to go. But this guy, this was what he was holding on to. And I was like, you're a, I was like, this guy's a teacher, he's a school teacher. And he was a smart guy. I was like, I go, come on, man.

There's no other way. You know, I'm not saying there's no God, but your argument is that something is super complex so only God could have created it. I was like, you shut off. You have a part of your head that doesn't work you don't use it my my mother despite being presented mountains of evidence uh that i was putting in front of her eyes really believed that john edwards could talk to the dead like wanted to go on crossing over really wanted to meet him wanted to have him like believed in not the presidential candidate not the presidential

candidate the tv personality who claimed that he could speak to dead people and scammed countless thousands of people out of their money by saying he he would do cold readings basically i'm getting something with a j uh you know and he would do that and i showed her the technique there were books on it i showed where he was trained all that stuff despite that she refused she had that wall she wanted to believe because she needed to believe and at some point if she were president that may inform her decisions she might believe that those people exist she might go to them for foreign policy advice like lord knows how that would influence things yes for sure if you're a gullible person you should not i want to keep talking can i flag

on the play and empty my bladder go piss man see me ladies and gentlemen i could drink coffee right down open this door it's the last door on your left me i drink coffee i can handle it i can keep it together you know my my broadcast partner in the ufc i'm feeling sexy now thank you i feel way better um my broadcast partner in the ufc mike roberg who i love to death has the smallest bladder of any human being on the planet it's so bad that we count me and the sound guys we have a running count and sometimes we'll have like a pool i i'll say like it'll be over five or over six he will get up six times during the broadcast to pee i mean literally he will get up he'll pee and then

he'll run out and he'll pee again it's crazy i have a video of uh him in vegas getting up and peeing getting no getting mad when i said why do you pee so much? And then he's like you tell Rogan! He gets mad that I bring it up because I was playing a drinking game for a while. I stopped playing the drinking game because I didn't want people to torture him. But the drinking game was every time he would

go get up, I would be the guy who was introducing the fighters as they would walk through. It's usually the way it sets up is Mike Goldberg will introduce a fighter, and as the guy's walking into the octagon, it's a couple minutes, so Mike will say the guy's name. He'll maybe say some pertinent facts about the guy, and I will address his strengths as an athlete.

I'll address his style and what recently he's coming off of and what I think he needs to do here tonight so that people have something to think about when the guy steps into the octagon. They don't just know the guy's name. people have something to think about when the guy steps into the octagon. They don't just know the guy's name. They also know a little bit about the guy. But when you only hear me talking, and I'm like, you know,

Alan the Talent Belcher. Alan's fighting out of Duke Rufus's... If it's just me talking, that means Goldberg's pissing. And I was saying, are you throwing crickets in there? Are you saying this is boring? No, no, that's like only you are talking and Mike's gone. I don't think it works that way, man. That's not the use of crickets in there? Are you saying this is boring? No, no, that's like only you are talking and Mike's gone. I don't think it works that way, man. That's not the use of crickets. Yeah.

Because it's a roaring arena. There's no crickets. Why is he leaving? He's leaving and there's a cricket all of a sudden. It's illogical, son. So he runs off. And I say, if you're playing the UFC drinking game, time to take a drink, ladies and gentlemen. That's hilarious.

And that just, you know, I think that tortured him. I think too many people went after him. By the way, you're in North Carolina this weekend. There's tickets still available. So go to where? JoeRogan.net? Yeah, you can go to JoeRogan.net. And all the information is also available on my Twitter.

If you go to my Twitter page, which is Twitter.com forward slash JoeRogan.net. And all the information is also available on my Twitter. If you go to my Twitter page, which is Twitter.com forward slash JoeRogan. I'm in Raleigh on Friday night at the Memorial Hall. And then I'm in Asheville on Saturday night at Thomas Wolfe. I've been to Raleigh. I love Raleigh. I got to holler at my boy, Cliffy B. Cliffy B from Epic Games. Cliffy lives in Raleigh, that fucking savage.

Is he coming to the show? I got to contact him. He might be. Is he coming to the show? I gotta contact him. He might be. Is he guesting a show of yours? No. Guesting? What does that mean? Yeah, like coming on

to do a thing, like a live podcast. No, I don't do live podcasts. I think live podcasts are a rip off. I'm sorry for all those people out there that are doing live podcasts,

that are making money doing it, but you're charging money for people to sit down and watch something that's not as entertaining as stand-up comedy in a comedy club. That's how I feel about it. I respect that. I disagree with it.

What do you say it is? I think that it's a live performance. And like when I did Lead Up, we made sure to make it interactive and to get people on stage and make them part of it so it gives them an experience that they can't have. Oh, that's right. You have a whole festival about it. Let me just explain something from a point of view of a stand-up comedian. Oh, that's right. You have a whole festival about it. Let me just explain something from a point of view of a stand-up comedian.

When I'm on stage and the crowd is – it's a packed crowd. There's 300 people. I know what's the best thing I can do. The best thing I can do is not sit down and have a conversation. The best thing I can do is stand up. And if there was a crowd here while we were doing this, if there was 300 people watching this, I would not be able to have the same sort of conversational tone. I would be hyper aware that all these people are watching and how fucking boring this is into a joe that's your pain don't reject that onto me how dare you you just got fucking heavy with me man can i just say it's a whole new fucking world like there was

i couldn't i was trying to actively listen for like the last 20 minutes and i couldn't and i couldn't figure out why and it's because i had to piss so bad and it reminded me there's a study that that says that if you are driving with an intense need to urinate it's about as bad as driving drunk like your your ability to focus and your reaction times are so impaired because your body is like empty your fucking bladder oh i believe that i was going through that and i didn't realize it so i apologize dude i'm here now it's a new day you handled it like a champ i was powering through man it was getting bad see that's why they invented commercials

because old dudes want to piss a lot it's also why they invented adult diapers yeah but Brian used those once

well people in Times Square used them for New Year's Eve and everybody yeah I was there for New Year's and I was not interested in watching the ball drop

but everybody that was talking about it was like get there at 6 or 8 a.m. because you won't get near enough to see anything or experience anything and you're gonna have to stand there all day and I was like, get there at 6 or 8 a.m. because you won't get near enough to see anything or experience anything and you're gonna have to stand there all day.

And I was like, well, what do you do if you gotta go to the bathroom? Like, oh, you have to wear diapers. Everybody does, which has now changed my vision of any imagery in Times Square because the people that are up front near the ball drop,

they've been waiting since 8 a.m. and they have shit and piss in their drawers. Yeah, and it doesn't help the smell. My problem was that it smelled like shit everywhere I was at. Now you know why, sir. It smells like the pens and Werther's Originals. No, no, no, not Times Square.

You mean throughout the city? When he shit. No, when he shit his pants, it smelled like shit. He was at a grocery store, and he shit his pants. Well, there you go. Yeah, you can't do that. But isn't that weird? Next time you see the people celebrating in the streets at Times Square,

just know that a good percentage of them have a load in their drawers, and they're bringing in the new year. That is so ridiculous. Isn't that crazy? Is that something that is commonly known? I didn't know until I went there. Is there a forum where they meet and they say, what kind of pens do you use?

Do you duct tape it in for smell protection? They're like Disneyland pin traders talking about strategies. What do you do if you pick up a hot girl and you make out at midnight, like you just meet, and then at the stroke, you start making out and you're both wearing diapers and shit. Well, you gotta do a diaper swap. You have to start 69, pull hers off, she pulls yours off, and then you bring it around, and so that way you're wearing her shit.

It's like back and forth forever, man. It's the sexiest thing ever. You had a hot dog from Fifth Street in there? Oh, someone ate hot peanuts! Meanwhile, someone would be into that for someone that would be like oh there's a definite community for that fuck yeah there's a lot of people that want to like johnny balls 17 is doing it right now on a free cam show johnny balls 7 yeah it's if you could find people that want to get fucked by horses you can find

people that want to that video when you hear when you hear the point where the horse is caught yeah you hear that groaning you're like oh that's the last sound you're going to be making for the rest of your life like that is it I want that to be my new text alert I want to hear that whenever someone texts me I wonder what the numbers are of people that have been fucked to death by like big animals like horses and shit

because it's not just that one guy not enough I was in traffic for an hour today more people need to get fucked to death yeah what are the numbers I wonder can we google that

throughout history we think more than a thousand how many people do you think well I bet are the numbers decreasing or are they increasing I think everything's increasing

because the population's increasing sure but also there wasn't Twitter back then so what else were you gonna do you gotta get fucked by a horse how many people are influenced by the ability to put video of them getting fucked Population's increasing. Sure, but also there wasn't Twitter back then, so what else were you going to do? You've got to get fucked by a horse. You've got nothing else to do. How many people are influenced by the ability to put video of them getting fucked by an animal online?

It makes them pull the trigger. The front-facing camera on this thing has me doing more than walking my neighbor's dog, absolutely. There was a conversation that we had yesterday about convincing people to do things that in the FBI, in trapping people, is causing more crime just in order to be able to solve it.

And that's another sign of sickness in this crazy world that you can actually talk somebody into doing something fucked up. It's an endemic thing because of the bottom line. They have to justify their jobs and show that they're preventing terrorism. And the only way to do that in a lot of these cases is to go out and entrap people and create scenarios that they can jump on board with. And the people that are doing it are people that are awesome at going undercover and pretending

to be someone else. So they're getting a rush out of that too, by the way. A rush out of pulling it off. Yeah. Well, sometimes. And those are the type of charismatic people that can talk you into doing things you wouldn't have ordered and ever be done. Right.

Well, sometimes that's the case. Sometimes they're taking ex-cons and they're taking people that would normally be you know stoolies and empowering them and saying you go do all the illegal shit you want to do and we'll back you with the badge we talked about all this yesterday unfortunately we went over it with my friend tate we talked about whitey bulger and all the different you know the guy who was working for the fbi was the head of the boston mob yeah yeah it's it's a mess it's the system is fucking completely ridiculous when it comes so do you think the feds are running stings or they're encouraging people to fuck horses or get fucked i was saying it could be they that is

possible i think someone could talk i have a joke like where do they recruit at petting zeus i had a joke in my last special about mormons that mormons are afraid of gay marriage and if anybody should be afraid of gay marriage that it's morm. Because if someone could talk you into being a Mormon, they could probably talk you into sucking their dick. And it really is true. Like, you should be scared. You should be scared. Someone talk you into something completely ridiculous.

Someone can talk people into, there's a lot of people out there that are, like, super persuasive, and they can talk people into doing a lot of things. And so when someone does something, and they do it with the aid of someone who happens to be an agent, I used to think that that was bullshit. That person's a criminal.

Someone came along. If someone came along to me and told me to blow up the Capitol building, I wouldn't do it. I'm going to do it. No way. Yeah, but I'm not an idiot. There's some people out there that are idiots, and it's not fair that someone can come along and convince this idiot that he is going to defend islam by giving him a ball like the guy in dallas where the cops providing them with a fake bomb he pressed the button and then they moved in on him and arrested him they gave him a fake they gave him the bomb they gave him cab fare they gave

him everything he needed to do it and by the way there are people listening to this right now that are wearing multiple q-ray balance bracelets because they believe it gives them the power to lift cars and balance better so So if people can be convinced. Talk to pro athletes that believe that. Do they really believe it or do they know that they're shilling? Dude, I had a guy who tried to do that to me. It's his power of placebo. This guy tried to do that to me.

That too. This guy who was a salesman. Mike Goldberg was telling me how great they were. He was wearing one. This guy was like, you got to wear this. This guy is just going to show you. So he brings this guy over. And this guy tries some fucking carny tricks on me. Where pushes down on your hands behind you clasp your hands i'm gonna

push down on him look you tilt it over he goes now put i go what are you doing i go what are you doing i go you're not doing it the same way i go your your angle is different i go stand right here i go now do it i go yeah man what are you doing and i go and then i looked at the other guy i go what are you guys doing are you playing little carny tricks i go if if you want to do something, let's do it exactly the same way. I go, pull my arm down now. And he couldn't pull my arm down. I go, come on, pull my arm down now. Hold on, I've got to put on another bracelet.

Yeah, I go, now try to do it. I go, are you crazy? Who bought this? I'm like, how is anybody buying this? Millions of people bought it. You're moving around and showing me different angles. I do jujitsu. I understand there's leverage.

You're changing the leverage point some people didn't even get that though some people got convinced by an infomercial some people fuck that some people got convinced by this guy i was watching people agree with him like yeah i do have more balance and i threw a fucking wet diaper into the party i was like the fuck are you talking about he was gonna get the company bonus trip to cabo and you ruined his numbers this guy grabbed my hand and like it to my body and was playing mercy with me and lifting my – now try to resist. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

This is some silly shit. If you wanted to prove that it would give you better strength, you would make me lift weights. You would say, lift weights now that you have this – well, don't you feel stronger? Right. Come on on you silly bitch like so if people can be talked into that shit that shit people can be talked into it's just an excuse to wear jewelry i think there's no it's really not that fast that's fashionable as a crock i still see people it's all i see it all the time but what it is is is a psychological tool there's something that... It's a placebo. Yes, but in that respect, for some reason, it seems to work. With athletes even, there was a measurable difference, even in people that thought that it was a placebo, even in people that went in with a preconceived notion that it

was a placebo, knowing that they were probably right, still had a benefit of it because they were trying to convince themselves that it works. Did we talk about the blood pressure placebo trial the last time I was here? No. It's worth Googling. I'll give you the fuzzy cliff notes of it. But basically they did a study where they gave people a placebo

and told them that it was a real pill that was going to lower their heart rate and their blood pressure and work miracles for them. Then they gave another group the same pill. It was a sugar water pill. And they said, this is a placebo. This pill does nothing.

Yes. But we're doing this study to see if it will lower your blood pressure. It did. It did lower it. And the people that even were told it was a placebo, and when the trial ended, they said, okay, that's it.

Thank you. The people revolted. And they said, what are you doing? My blood pressure is going to go back up. I need this pill. And they're like, no, no, no, no, no. It's a placebo. It does nothing.

The pill does nothing. And they had to start manufacturing placebo pills. This is the same story. You're giving a detailed description. It's the exact same story. I just simplified it. But you made it much more clear. There's something weird with our brains. There's something weird with our brains when we believe things. Because I think that reality is more malleable than we think it is. We've shown that there's a certain amount of effect positive energy and mood can have on people. And there's a certain amount of effect true belief in something can have on your environment. There's something weird going on with the mind that's not quite as simple as we'd like to think it is.

It's not one plus one equals two. It's one plus one equals two. But if you believe in magic, it might equal five. Right. You can have a, you can have a magic variable in your equation that can change the outcome of the algorithm.

There's, there's belief in yourself as a strange thing. Belief in things. That's why I tell people don't believe in yourself. Well strange thing. Belief in things is a strange thing. That's why I tell people, don't believe in yourself. Stop it. Don't believe in anything or anyone, and you'll be free. But no, because if you believe in things, it can empower you. That's what's really fucked up.

Positive energy begets positive. It's not as simple as positive energy, though. It's not like that's sort of some hippie ideology. Is it, though? What's the difference of thinking positive? It's not like that's sort of some hippie ideology. Is it though? What's the difference of thinking positive? It's not just thinking positive. It's thinking specifically about certain results and thinking positive and moving in that direction. Well, certainly.

You can't just sit there and wish. Yeah, but I'm saying that there's some sort of a magical combination that when used is greater than the sum of its parts. when used is greater than the sum of its parts, and that there's something to the human mind that affects reality in a way that I don't think we've totally measured yet. I think that, I think there's, you know... Well, there have been studies that show that people that undergo surgery,

where there's a certain rehab time, if they believe in the power of prayer, they tend to heal quicker and fuller faster. Sure. So there is clearly, there's some quantifiable evidence. So you should believe in the power of prayer, they tend to heal quicker and fuller faster. Sure. So there is clearly, there's some quantifiable evidence. So you should believe in something. You know, even believing in something that's bullshit.

Like if it empowers you, there's something weird about that. You should be wearing a Q-ray balance bracelet. Fucking rubber bracelets for some weird people. It's what they needed. It's that trigger that they needed to fire up that certain part of their brain that gives you the green light to expect certain results.

They needed a totem. Like I can't believe that just the power of thought will be enough to compel me into a positive or propel me into a positive direction. But you give me a rubber trinket that I can now attach that positivity to. And I go, I believe that because that's a thing that has an alloy. It's something. It's an earth crystal. It's something where the mind gets the green light. Right.

You know, I realize that there's some. When I was a kid, when I was competing in Taekwondo, when I was 19 years old, I went to watch the World Cup. Like I had a run from the time when I was 17 until I was 21. I won the Massachusetts State Championship every year. And then one year, I won the U.S. Open. I came in second in the 21. I won the Massachusetts State Championship every year. And then one year, I won the U.S. Open. I came in second in the U.S. Cup. I was, like, really highly ranked nationally.

And that year was the year that I went to watch the World Cup because I went to Colorado Springs, and I saw, like, the best fighters in the world. And I came back from just watching it, and all of a sudden, I was, like, a year better. It was like I had made this huge leap. And I had a friend of mine who was, his name was Jung-Sik, Jung-Sik Chang. The kid was a fucking, he was a maniac. This guy was a student. He was a medical student. He was going through his internship and training to be on the U.S. Olympic Taekwondo team at the same time.

He was a fucking savage. Just the most hardest working kid I've ever met in my life guy slept three hours every night which trained like a fucking madman but we were talking about it he goes what happened goes what how did you get so good what happened and I'm like I don't know I went to this one place and I hit this new level it's like I was like this really good local guy. And then I went and I watched the World Championships or the World Cup rather. And then all of a sudden, I was like world class, you know, it was it happened like overnight. It happened so quick. It was it was I realized what was possible. I saw those guys move. And I went, Oh, you can move faster, you could do this more,

you could do that more. And but just by having a new model in my mind, my physical body caught up to that model almost instantly. I had already had the physical capability, but I hadn't seen it yet. So I didn't know what was possible until it was shown to me. Yeah, you had a barrier based off your body, and then you saw that that bar can be raised. You went, oh, okay, I'll just go up there now. Well, I also saw that that bar can be raised you went okay i'll just go

up there now well i also saw that those guys would fuck me up i you know when you when you watch things objectively if you're a competitor the most important part of getting better is you got to know how bad you are right now you got to know what you suck at you got to know where your holes are you got to know what mistakes you make and if you don't see that the enemy can see that i can see that in other people immediately and i'm like man if i can't see that, the enemy can see that. I can see that in other people immediately. And I'm like, man, if I can't see that in myself, that's a fucking horrible, horrible handicap. So you look at these guys. And I went and watched these guys. I remember going, this guy would fuck me up.

This guy would fuck me up. That guy would knock me out. I was like, this guy wouldn't want to fight with him. I was like, shit. And I just realized that there is a whole nother. So all of a sudden, I was doing things that I could never do before. And I remember thinking, what was holding me back? Was it just that I hadn't seen it?

And then I remember the thing about the four-minute mile. Nobody thought we could ever, a human being could ever run faster than a four-minute mile. It just wasn't beyond our capabilities. Then one guy did it, and then all of a sudden, a gang of people did it, like, immediately. It's like all of a sudden, these new levels get set and new barriers get broken there's there's something to it that's not just physical there's something to it where the the belief and the the when the mind has new information it changes the reality so where do you draw the line in if you say it's if you can say all right someone who has this belief or someone who has these

thoughts that that empowers them and it's positive for them when do you go well but your belief is wrong you know the one that you have that empowers you and propels you in positive directions that you you know that you give credit to for the positivity in your life when do you go okay well that's wrong though because I can prove that it doesn't

exist or because I can prove that it was made up by somebody you know at what point then do you have the right to say that about someone else's belief you don't well a lot of people look you know whether it's the flying spaghetti monster or whether it's uh you know the mormonism or the president of christianity or a bracelet yeah there's something that is empowering about having belief and i've seen people one of the things I was scared of when I was a kid when I was competing, I was scared of competing against religious guys

because I felt like they believed something more than I did. They have God in their corner. Yeah, I was filled with doubt about, I was an idiot, first of all, and I was filled with doubt about what would happen when I die, my mortality, whether I'm a good person or not. And I would meet people that were like, when I would see guys reading the Bible before they would fight,

it would scare the shit out of me. There was one thing that really, there was a guy named Clayton, I think his name was Clayton Barber, who was one of the top level guys in my division, and he was an army guy, and he was super religious. He was like super, and he scared the shit out of me. I was terrified of him. He wasn't even the most dangerous guy. He was just, to me, he was scary because he was too religious. It was just too creepy.

A lot of people say that religion is what compels them to do great things. Religion is also strong enough to have them fly planes into buildings. Exactly. So if a book and a philosophy can make somebody do that, Lord knows what it can make them do to you in the ring. When you say fly planes into buildings, you're completely discounting what we have, the documents that show remote control planes

are the only way you can get a plane to make those kind of turns. There's too much information. Do you believe that, how much corruption do you believe there is in 9-11? I don't know. But all I know is what is from the past. Oh, was that a Pandora's box?

Yeah, he wants to talk about farts. That's what it means. Hey, good fart story. We can talk about Olive Garden. There's corruption in government, no question about it. All you need to know is there's no reason to ever tell you the exact story. So any story that happens, whether it's the way we killed Ansama bin Laden, which, by the way, we've already had a difference in the story

from one of the actual SEALs who was on site who killed Osama bin Laden. There's a difference between his story and the official story that the government has put out. Did you read his book? No, I didn't. Now, when you go back into the past and look at the Pat Tillman story, and you realize that they lied about what happened to the American hero and football star Pat Tillman who was killed by friendly fire who they think may have been actually murdered because he was complaining too much about the war he was a real patriot who went over there because he thought he

was gonna defend us against the terrorists and when he got there realized it was a massive clusterfuck and was talking about it quite openly and then he gets shagged by, shagged? No, shanked? Fragged. Yeah, buddy. Fragged is the word. He gets killed, and they make a total lie. Completely lie about what happened.

Complete lie. Jessica Lynch is another story. Jessica Lynch, who's the woman that they said they had to take out in an armed insertion to remove her from, she was rescued by high-level guys when she was being kidnapped. She wasn't being kidnapped. She was in a hospital being treated. The whole, they

lie. They just lie. And I don't think it's, I'm not blaming soldiers. I'm blaming the very people at the top of the command who are doing this, who have always been doing it like this. They did it since Operation Dirty Trick. You know, when John Glenn first went into space,

if John Glenn died, they were going to blame it on the Cubans. They were going to concoct evidence, and this has all been proven, they were going to concoct evidence, they were going to blame it on the Cubans, and they were going to go, well, look, we've got a win-win situation here.

Send this fucking guy into orbit. If he blows up, we just go fuck up Cuba. Right. And everybody's happy. It's called a catalyst. It's called the way people who have ultimate control run business. This country has always been run by that. So when something like 9-1-1 happens and you look at all the potential fuckery that could have taken place from the fact that people were gambling

and betting on airlines failing right before it happened. That there was a massive amount of money that was moved around. Insurance policies taken out for buildings in the area. The fact that evidence was destroyed minutes after the event. This seems to indicate that there's a lot of room for potential fuckery. And if you add that to what we know has happened in the past i throw my hands up and i go i don't know i don't i don't really know what happened but i am not willing to ever stop and say that the government is on this occasion is

telling 100 of the truth right that even though they haven't done it in the past and even though they've been lying about the iran contra scandal and even though they lied about virtually every fucking thing that has ever happened overseas whether it's you know fucking golf of tonkin whether it's what the reason why they pulled all their battleships out of world war ii out of uh out of uh pearl harbor we knew before it happened yeah we they let it they received notice they we needed a catalyst to get us involved in that war. I told that to G. Gordon Liddy. I said, you know, they were saying that on the History Channel. I had G. Gordon Liddy was on Fear Factor.

Yeah. He almost won. You just can't see at night. His fucking vision sucks. Yeah. So he crashed his car. Did he have to eat weird shit or anything? Who's the guy who won?

He was like a fucking, he was like a really big star in the 70s, and then he became a drug addict. He was like a, god damn it. Can't remember his fucking name. Shit. It's like a weird, obscure guy, some singer guy. All right. I want to say Jared Leto, but it's not him.

He is not obscure. His music is powerful. His music moves mountains, you asshole. But he's like that kind of a guy. But G. Gordon Liddy, you know, I had a conversation with him about it. He's like,

oh, I don't know. I don't believe that's true. I'm like, hmm, that's what they're saying on the History Channel. That's what history is saying. Yeah,

it's like they're saying that they decoded Japanese. That's one of the reasons why they left certain ships and they took out some of the big battleships they allowed that to happen so that we could have an excuse to get into World War II

which ultimately I guess is probably a good thing it would suck if the Nazis actually did win is that possible that we could have a fucking Star Wars type situation where the Nazis get into a position where they can have a fucking Death Star we're building our way towards it we're gonna we're gonna build the death star

we've already got flying drones we already got the drones we're getting there man yeah they didn't even think of that in star wars they didn't think there'd be 30 000 drones in the air yeah why would you need people in these tie fighters and x-wings star wars didn't even have google they didn't even have google on star wars they had the force they didn't need it man yeah they had the force pretty by the way bro you got the force too the force is what we were talking They had the force. They didn't need it, man. Yeah. They had the force. Pretty sweet. By the way, bro, you got the force too. The force is what we were talking about. Yeah.

The force is the belief and the ability to accomplish things. It's funny. On the power of positive thought, I used to be one of those guys that was, and it wasn't something

I was consciously doing, but in my youth, I would be jealous of people that had success or sometimes be angry that someone did something creative as opposed to appreciating that and supporting them and being genuinely excited for them. And I had to like root that out of myself and examine that and go, where is this coming

from? And, you know, seeds of insecurity and all sorts of stuff. And once I was able to look at it for what it was, that sunlight disinfected it. And now being genuinely excited for people that are doing awesome things and being positive about that has fundamentally changed my life. Yes. And I've seen that in only the last few years.

So fully subscribe to that. I have talked about that on this podcast many, many, many, many times. The difference between the way I looked at things as a young man who hadn't really accomplished much or was really insecure to the way I handle things now. And somewhere along the line, I sort of figured it out.

Somewhere in my 20s, I figured out that it was just a weakness. But I'm really self-critical. So I had pointed that out. And so I would see that in other people where they would be hating on other folks. And I'd be like, man, you're fucking yourself. You don't even realize you're fucking yourself. We should all be elevating ourselves, all of us. And that sort of became the idea of what we do with this whole crew of us that we call the Death Squad.

I mean, that's really what it is. It's like we all support each other and we all get psyched for each other. There's no one. Ari Shaffir right now is number one on iTunes, bitches. Rogan Bump. Yeah, we talked about it yesterday on the podcast. And boom, his new CD is number one. And it's fucking hilarious.

Ari's worked very hard and we started taking him on the road when he was basically he was an employee at the comedy store. And he was just starting to do like real like 15 and 20 minute sets many, many, many years ago. So to see him now headlining like major clubs and having the number one CD on iTunes, it's fucking amazing. But that pumps us all up you know and number two is tommy segura and number who's also our buddy what is his white girls with cornrows yeah yeah which is hilarious tommy segura is one of the best fucking comics in the country right now he's so underrated he is fucking hilarious i'm not familiar with him i have to check it out oh my god he's funny he's and he's a great guy and his shit is number two

And then Joey Diaz Is like number three Or number four And Joey's been number one For months It's incredible But it benefits all of us It pumps us all up

Starting a podcast Here next week You fucking are Can I do it Can we do it How do we do it Do it right here I need a logo

And some photoshop Done All we need is Kevin Pereira Get shit done Let's do it next week Yes See yes

I love this Good Excellent Fist to the man We will now work together Good night time Kevin Pereira Get shit done Let's do it next week Yes See Yes I love this Good Excellent Fist to the man We will now work together Good night time Kevin Pereira You are officially

Death squad now I love it You're in Is there a Cat t-shirt No Send us a picture of your day You gotta hug Brian

Absolutely It's uncomfortable After the first 30 minutes Oh it's a prolonged Tantric hug Hold him for one hour Does he go through Stages of emotion

Like he'll cry for a little bit Then he'll get aroused, then he'll get angry. Well, he'll start telling stories of his youth that you would think are made up. Yeah, you have to do it. It's very hard for people who don't have things going on in their life

to be happy for people who do. You got to use that shit as inspiration, man. When you see someone win an Emmy and you're like, I need to write a script. Get up and write that fucking script. Don't hate on the guy who created Sex and the City or the woman who created,

I don't know who it is. I don't know why I said Sex and the City. What am I living in? I just went back in time. Because it's a phenomenal series. Don't hate on Louis C.K. for just winning two Emmys. I love that. Yeah, it's awesome. I love the shot of.K. for just winning two Emmys. I love that.

Yeah, it's awesome. I love the shot of him in the crowd with the two Emmys at his feet, and he's just tweeting. I don't know if you've seen that. It's almost like he could care less, but you know he loves it. But he's just, eh, just send him a tweet. Well, you know, he's the real deal, and he's a hardworking guy. And so you should be excited about that. You should see that guy, and you shouldn't say,

man, he's got this going on, and I can't even get a middle spot. You know, you just got to work, man. You just got that guy and you shouldn't say, man, he's got this going on and I can't even get a middle spot. You just got to work, man. You just got to work. But you'll find it gets a lot easier to do that work and you find a lot more support when you're not pissed at people and jealous for their success. It makes you way better. And it's easier to be creative. One of the hardest parts of being creative is if you're in tension with someone or you have issues or you're jealous or you're you have any sort of negativity it's very difficult to be creative with any sort of negativity in your life because you know that becomes the blaring focus instead of letting the mind relax and go into these weird sort of patterns of thoughts that create creativity especially comedic creativity like you can create great music because you're pissed at an ex-girlfriend or you

have a heroin problem, but it's really hard to make comedy. How many great songs have been written by dudes who are just trying to get a girl back? Probably a lot, right?

Countless. It's so sad. I also love that drugs have shaped the design and sound of music throughout time. There's been studies that show that cocaine

makes you more sensitive to higher frequencies, and that's why a lot of the music from the 80s had the treble blasted way up because dudes were just blown out on coke at the mixing board going, yeah, give me that cymbal.

Give me that guitar scream. High end. Got it made. Got it made. I just finished The Dirt. Hot for teacher. The Motley Crue Tales. Have you read that?

No. It's brilliant. Really? Brilliant. Is it really? Neil Strauss wrote it. I mean, it's very well written, and it tells you the perspective.

I'm not even a Motley Crue fan. I barely know their music. But the stories in here seem unbelievable, but as you flip the page, you get the same tale, but from another band member's perspective. And so by the third chapter, you've got real perspective on incidents that happened of like girls being stuffed into litter boxes and guys ODing in the back of cars. Oh, yeah. Like crazy shit. Blowjobs and private jets while people are overdosing. girls being stuffed into litter boxes and guys od'ing in the back of cars oh yeah like crazy

shit blow jobs and private jets while people are overdosing like it's as rock and roll as rock and roll gets oh wow that's the program by the way you were talking earlier that stitches everything that's another one because that is definitely not the name of it but that's awesome yeah y clone it's called there's there's work on uh all platforms it shows an apple store look at that fake iphone that shows it see these are a bunch of people all the videos are connecting how great is that that's amazing but that song sucks a bag of dicks what are you talking about man kill that song that was dope yeah the fuck was that buena vista social club it's amazing speaking of songs everybody keeps asking when is this fucking end of the world party? Tickets going on sale.

What? They're going on sale this Friday and it'll be Honey Honey, Joe Diaz, Doug Stanhope, and myself

December 21st, 2012 at the Wiltern Theater in LA. Come celebrate the end of the world, bitches. We're going down swinging.

We're going down with mushrooms and whiskey. That's what we're going to do. Are you going gonna throw them out to the crowd like fusing messages Johnny fungicide look this is the this is the big date that all these crazy people and Terrence McKenna have been predicting of some real change and I don't believe that anything real is gonna happen unless maybe we make something real happen you are the one you know maybe Maybe you're the reason. You've got the touch.

I don't think so. I've never seen the nicest legs I've ever seen. But, dude, shut up. I think what is going to happen, though, is we're going to have

a good fucking time. And Stan Hope and I are talking about, yeah, December 21st. That's the end of the Mayan calendar. That's the day. The end of the long count.

I'm not going to see 30. You will. Yeah, you will. It's not going to end. It's all going to end. No, I don't buy it i think we're gonna pull it out you know what i think i think there's a battle right now between idiocy and technology and i firmly believe that things improve and without any source of if we

can avoid nuclear war and cataclysmic impacts by you know asteroids and super volcanoes, shit along those lines. But we also have to accept the fact that the more data comes in, the more we realize there are certain parts of the planet that are habitable and then become inhabitable. And we have to fucking accept that. And we need to start thinking about that here in Southern California.

When it gets 110 fucking 30, 40, 50 days in a row, at a certain point in time, you got to go, what if it gets to 130? What if it gets 110 fucking 30, 40, 50 days in a row, at a certain point in time, you've got to go, what if it gets to 130? What if it gets to 150? What are we doing? Are we going to stay here and wear suits everywhere we go so that we stay alive? The gray alien sleeve.

We'll have to be buying those from Apple. What are we going to do if there really is, this is the precursor to an ice age? And what if the shift shift comes like in dramatic form like they believe it has all throughout history like the end of the the last ice age abruptly happened including massive extinction events like the woolly mammoth saber-toothed tiger all sorts of animals just disappeared off the face of the earth and we got to accept the fact that that shit could happen here just because we have a database of a couple of thousand years of civilization

and all living in the same continents, we also have a fucking map of Greenland that they don't really understand where these people, excuse me, not Greenland, Antarctica. There's a map of Antarctica that came from the 1500s that is a very detailed map of the perimeter, and it's correct, and they don't know who the fuck charted this thing because antarctica has been frozen for god knows how long

and they the the the suspicion is that some point in time antarctica was actually inhabitable and there's all these sites that say there's pyramids on antarctica that they're discovering but i don't i don't buy that that seems like fuckery it seems like some horse shit little yeti homes yeah but i'm not i'm i'm completely convinced that in the course of human history the hundreds of thousands of years that have been things that are remotely close to what we look like we've had to flee you know we've had to get it north america was covered in ice a mile high sheet of ice the great lakes were created by all this giant bould were moved. This huge slab of ice comes down. It's a mile high, and it pushes slowly across the land, literally erasing everything in its sight.

You've got to get the fuck out of there. And that easily could happen to us again. It's interesting to think, like, if there were another catastrophic environmental event that wiped us out, if thousands of years go on and another human civilization is spawned and birthed, what relics they would find because they might not ever know that we developed the internet,

that we had iPhones, that we had anything else. They would get guns maybe, maybe a clay pot or two, but they wouldn't really have a knowledge of our civilization because of the way we're storing it. What the fuck?

Yeah, they would be fucked. Well, that's exactly what they believe happened to the people that built Baalbek in Lebanon where they have these 10-foot tall stones that are 70, 100 feet long, and they don't even know why the fuck they got them there. They don't even know when they got them there. They have no idea. And that's the really extreme people that believe in the ancient civilization's advancement.

That's their idea, is that we lost all the glass and metal and all gets absorbed. We showed a Blendtec blender, you know we uh we showed a blend tech blender blending an iphone we showed a video of that yesterday it's amazing and like what do you think would happen if that iphone got in the bottom of a glacier and it's a mile high and it's moving you know a foot a year whatever the fuck it does just crushing everything in front of it trillions of tons of ice you wouldn't get much more than that either. It would just crush it down to nothing. You mentioned this war between

ignorance or stupidity and technology. Yeah, that's the battle. It is a huge battle, but what concerns me, and I am fundamentally an optimist, but I always raise a flag when I can, and what concerns me is technology's role in dumbing people down that its role its role as a propaganda machine astroturfing you know where

you can make it look like the opinions of many are something just with a click of a mouse there are companies that are designed to do this where you can disseminate information people can live in their bumble bubble where if if let's say a republican google something or a democrat google something their results are filtered and different from each other like this is happening today i see that but i also and i agree with you that that is a concern but i also see that the free distribution of information ultimately will balance that out because i see that what's going on now is more skepticism more intolerance to corruption more understanding of the corruption itself than it's ever existed before.

And that is because of the internet. Right. But have you read YouTube comments? Like that's – but I mean as much as that's a joke, like that skepticism is being fueled and powered and growing exponentially on both sides of every issue. You know what I mean? Like the commentary and the dissection and the editing of information, which is prevalent now, people seek out voices

that speak to the opinion that they want to have. That is true for now. It's happening. But I think people are better today. I know I am certainly better today at seeing contrary points, to seeing information that doesn't jive with me. Because you seek them out, though.

Yeah, it's because I seek them out, but I think that's a trend that we can set in all sorts of people. I hope. I think the only way to really truly benefit is to actually truly benefit, and the only way to truly benefit is to be honest and real and to know what is going on, not to have a distorted perception of what's going on because you can only live in that distortion for so long

before you go fucking insane. And even people that are insane wish they weren't. And I think there is a way that we can all figure out how to get through this and not be insane. And the only way is truth, reality, and objective thinking. I think the internet facilitates that in a way that nothing else before has. I think the internet gives people an ability. And it's only been here for a couple of decades.

Sure. I think it hasn't even had a chance to set trends in the future generations of humanity, which I think are inevitable. I think what we're dealing with is the adolescence of the internet, the adolescence of what I always refer to today as the roaring 20s of the digital era. Right. And that eventually we're going to figure this out

and get it locked down. But it's going to define how human beings are. It's going to define them in a way that didn't before. The access to information from the time they were a young child and the ability to disseminate information and double and triple check things. And there's people like WikiLeaks and there's people like Anonymous that are on top of shit to make sure that everybody knows the truth. And I think that will spawn others.

And I think that is the trend of the future. The trend of the everybody knows the truth. And I think that will spawn others. And I think that is the trend of the future. The trend of the future is the truth. And I think that's all being distributed through the internet and changing generations. Again, as a fundamental optimist and an advocate for technology, I agree and I hope. But with that said,

just as the internet's ability to distribute information and disseminate truth, it's also in its infancy to distort and to deliver messages to people that are targeted and false. Sure, but that requires conspiracy. And the conspiracy doesn't necessarily empower the individual. And the individual is the one who's going to break the conspiracy, much wiki leaks much like that bradley manning guy did that people are going to realize that that does not benefit them to to help this big giant group of cunts you know and i think that is a trend or that giant group of cunts will use astroturfing and the technology available to deliver a specific message to them on the channels that they're getting it so that either a they believe it's truth or they feel

like they need to believe it for their security or for a million reasons. Maybe. Again, I'm the optimist. My argument is that it's going to be harder and harder to do that. I'm just saying we need to be vigilant. Yes. Ever vigilant. Yes.

I agree with you. Which is why I'm starting a podcast on Death Squad next week. Kevin Pereira stepped up to the plate, kid. Yeah. I'm only going to talk about fisting and cake farts. That's all you need to talk about. That's all it really comes down to. Everything else is redundant. Cake farts is still one of my favorite videos

It's about fun ladies and gentlemen That's what this life is You want to break it down to hippie positive energy You want to break it down to that That is one way to look at it Although that idea has been tainted by yoga instructors Trying to fuck their students There's more to it

And by Coca-Cola saying that that Coke will deliver a smile. If you want fun, buy our product. Yeah, it's possible that some products do deliver fun though, right? They do. Have you tried Oxycontin?

What about your A7? Oh my God, so much fun. It's an Audi we're talking about. So much fun. It's a spaceship on wheels. What is an A7? It is a spaceship. Yeah, rich guys talking about cars.

That's what the folks need in this world. That's real change. It's aspirational programming. How, rich guys talking about cars. That's what the folks need in this world. That's real change. It's aspirational programming. How dare you? I'm sad. I'm sad that it's just Obama. I thought when Obama came into office that we were going to have like a real.

Wasn't there a moment where you really thought like. Holy shit. You know why I thought too? And it wasn't because I believed the campaign. I really believed that we would see change because his first campaign was funded by the people. And, you know, again, money and politics is the root of so many evils. Lobbyists, super PACs, all that shit is the root of so many evils that I thought, like, here is a guy who's going to be beholden to us because we put him there. I personally donated.

Well, I also thought he's a young guy. He comes from a single mom. He's half black. He's been through the system. He's not an elitist. He's not some blue blood cunt that went to school in connecticut yeah i thought this is this is our chance i thought this was really going to be a chance and the bush cheney administration was clearly evil i mean you could be a republican all day ladies and gentlemen if you are a fan of civil liberties if you are a fan of of people looking out for people,

how the fuck could you be a fan of Dick Cheney? Even on the fiscal side, fiscal conservatism. They blew up the budget with unfunded wars and everything else. So pretty insane. And it was pretty telling that none of them were at the RNC. Not a single one of them was trying to erase those memories. Isn't that hilarious? You would think that the last sitting president, last sitting president two-term president would be

someone that they would bring out no they're avoiding any mention of george w he might be insane by now who knows when was the last time you saw him get interviewed he might be out he's on a ranch right now he's doing fine i think he's gotta have there's gotta be some disconnect in order for you to be a guy who's responsible for the death of hundreds of thousands if not millions of people there's got to be some sort of a disconnect and ultimately i think that's probably what fucked ronald reagan's head over i think that it fucks up a lot of people that's look johnny cochran and robert kardashian both those guys died young of like brain tumors okay why because they got oj simpson off they they know they did something yeah they know they know they did something some evil shit.

I mean, you get brain tumors. Two guys get brain tumors. They die of, I think they both got brain tumors. Was it the guys? Either way, they're both young. They both died young.

I mean, that's, your health pays a fucking price for that shit. I'm not saying that that's the reason why. I wonder if there's been studies on that, like where people have to lie during a study

or do something that they believe is morally wrong, and then they test their physical health to see if that knowledge, if those secrets, weighs on them, because it must. I'm sure it does. It has to have a load bearer on your soul. It's got to.

It fucks people over, man. You've seen people's faces when they've gone through scandal and they're dealing with negative. Negative energy becomes real. Talk to Jamie Kilstein. I want to. Negative energy will fucking come down on you for real.

Has there been a study on memory call memory recall and memory call of those who are documenting an experience versus those who are actively participating in it like for example if i'm at a concert or if i'm at any event and i'm too busy taking photos for instagram and tweeting about it snapping photos and whatever yes i can look at those memories and I have recall of those memories, but how active is my memory of that event and on what scale would I rate that experience versus being present and enjoying it? It's extremely subjective. Depends on the individual.

Depends on how they viewed the past, whether or not they've had traumatic experiences at any sort of event before, whether or not they've had a reason to look at things in great detail. They've also shown that people can experience things, and then if there's a certain amount of time where someone introduces something that didn't actually happen into their thoughts, and then revisits it with the same information later, that these people will agree that something

happened that didn't happen. So they'll intentionally inject in especially during emotionally charged events they'll intentionally inject some sort of a fake memory into someone's mind and later that becomes real and that's what people have argued about oj that oj actually does believe that he didn't kill them after a while that like you might even be able to fucking pass a polygraph test after a certain time oh you can absolutely introduce false memories by asking leading questions about the guy in the white hat. What guy?

You know, the guy in the white hat. Oh, of course there was a guy in a white hat there because now you're asking me about that. Well, you know that whole story about those people that were wrongly convicted of child molestation. They were running a daycare center and they had talked all these kids

into coming up with stories of someone touching them. And it was all false. It was all bullshit. But they had introduced it into a child's brain. And there's one thing to talk about memories and how tricky that can be. Because on one hand, there are memories in my life that I have that I can tell you

with absolutely no uncertainty whatsoever that I remember exactly what happened. But there's some that I'm like, man, it's like a flash show in my head. It's like a snapshot show. I see like a slide here, a slide there. And if I can interpolate that for you and say, well, in between slide A and slide B, this event happened. You might actually connect those dots and go, oh, I guess your event did happen because I could see that being part of the progression. Sort of.

And things get recalibrated too. Like I remember I had a particular image of the house where I grew up in. And then I went back and saw it recently. And I was like, oh, yeah, OK. It was over here now. Oh, it was this way. You know, it was like I had to recalibrate. And now I have the revised version.

I have all the- The updated memory. Yeah. I have everything put into place. But if you had made me, like, draw my street before, I might have fucked it up entirely. You know, I might have had different people's houses on the wrong sides. Oh, the bridge is over to the left. Fuck, I thought it was over here.

You can twist shit up and make it real inside your stupid head. And maybe that's one of the benefits of the upgrade when we're going to be able to videotape things. Record everything 24-7? Yeah, and it's going to start out with Google Goggles goggles then work its way to a chip that you put in your eyeballs it'll be contact lens with oled and then you won't even need the lens who's going to be the first person that lets their eyes get cut out for some new eyeballs that we've invented that are way better that's going to happen reading a book about that right now it's a fictional tale about a guy who loses his leg in a traumatic accident but he's an engineer working at this future kind of biotech

company so he designs a better leg and then gets addicted to the fact that his bionic leg has better features and can do certain things that his real leg can't so he cuts off his real leg the other one so he can have two bionic legs but then he's like well if my legs are better why don't i cut off my arm oh my god it's like it's that whole cycle repeating itself it's fucking awesome jesus yeah you would think the six million million man would not be happy with just a good right hand. You know, he throws a shitty jab and behind him comes the right hand of doom that can punch right through your head. There's a great video of people throwing baseballs with their non-dominant hands.

I don't know if you've seen it. Oh, hilarious. But it's hilarious. Like the weakling little throw and the awkward motion that if you try to do anything with your non-dominant hand, you might have a bionic arm. We were talking about this the other day. Do you guys think you can masturbate using your non-dominant hand? Like had a bionic arm we were talking about this the other day do you guys think you can masturbate using your non-dominant hand like i i i can't absolutely that's the one point masturbation is just this it's not a lot of work it feels weird playing pool

left-handed is really fucking hard i play really good right-handed jerking off with a cue stick though that's all you that's that motion you were just doing a euro grip yeah but it's not it's it's how you you you judge the the plane of your your arm like how it's in it has to be you have to be in control of the speed of the motion and there's a lot of fine motor skill movements going on there but it's nothing compared to drawing i can i can shoot pool i can make certain shots with my left hand i can't draw with my left hand can you write like you're fucking barely my it doesn't listen but every guy is ambidextrous when it comes to jerking off no not really come on it's every

every guy can switch hit i can't what yeah that's what i'm saying like if if there was nothing in front of me like and i had my imagination with my right hand i could you know do it on my left hand i think from scratch with nothing in front of me i don't think i could even need a balance i disagree i disagree i know you could do it you would just have to be horny enough see when you say from My left hand, I think from scratch with nothing in front of me, I don't think I get even a hard bracelet on my left hand. I disagree. I know you could do it. You would just have to be horny enough. See, when you say from scratch, you're talking about your regular life, which you beat off like a fucking spider monkey every three or four hours.

Yeah, and that, you need a highly tuned jerk-off hand for that kind of beating off. You're a guy who watches porn all the time. You bang porn stars. You know, you got a lot of ridiculousness going on in your situation that doesn't you know but if you were like a guy who could never get laid and you couldn't you didn't have access to porn and you weren't jerking off no fleshlights and you you went without beating off for like two weeks and then someone said here here's a porno film beat off with your left hand you'd be like fuck yeah you had peter north all over your screen it just seems like it's it seems like it's just it seems like it's really like uh dead

like it doesn't feel like it has any feeling you got to build that up man you know what i mean like you got it's like calluses on a new guitar player you got to build it up it's like my joke that i had like way way way back in the day about having a girl jerk you off. Having a girl jerk you off to trying to brush your teeth with your left hand. It's just clumsy, spastic. And then your right hand is a motherfucker. Your right hand knows where the gum line is. And it gets that fast vibration. But your left hand, you have to hold it still

and move your face over the brush because your hand is so stupid. It doesn't have a brush. That's why I baby bird with two Sonic hairs every night. You know what I did once? I can make sure I can double fist the dicks. I put a Q-tip in each ear and I took a shit at the same time and then I blacked out from ecstasy.

It's the most amazing feeling ever. You cleared all your orifices at once. It's just a wonderful feeling. There's a new toilet add-on that they're selling, the Squatty. It's supposed to be like a thing that stores... You stand on it, right? No, you sit, but it elevates your legs so that you have more of a squatting posture,

which relaxes the track so that the shit can slide out easier. And it's been scientifically proven that squatting... I mean, we've done it for years and years and years as a society until we have bowls to sit down on, that it's more efficient, it's healthier for you. Yeah, they're still doing it in China for you. Yeah, they still do it in China apparently. Yeah, it's still in many places.

But I wonder if that's going to catch on. The shitting part of them. People are so weird about fecal matter and biological movements in general. Well, when Brian and I

were in Japan, one of the things that we, by the way, you guys sent me these toilets and I got to thank this company that sent me the toilet

because I don't have the information. You already have one? Yeah, they sent me two of them. I haven't set them up yet, though. Are they the ones with the heating, massaging, and the ass jet? Yes, the whole deal. And they will be at the new studio. So, Brian, when you take a shit at the new studio, you will be able to clean.

Are they togas? They are. The company is called brondell and um it's b-r-o-n-d-e-l-l.com and brondell has uh they they sent us two of these and they're they're fucking like cadillacs for your ass cheeks so everybody should be shitting with them one in my my home office and one in the studio and it will be dope as fuck you said new studio yeah yeah i got a new studio in woodland hills congrats thanks it's all set up it's fucking badass it's um the lease lease assigned and now there's equipment being built right now i'm hiring uh this dude eric who created brian's uh cat clock over there the

squad clock yeah it's dope he uh he's a metal worker he's building me this custom like whole thing like a desk setup kind of and it's going to be cool because it's reclaimed wood we're using like reclaimed farm oak yeah cycling yeah not only that it's i like the fact that it's got like some life to it like it's it's old like there's people been using this there's like vibes in it i you know i subscribe to this uh rupert sheldrake idea that even objects have they have a memory they resonate some energy's been pumped into them that's why like the old recording studios people like well these albums have been recorded there and i'm like that means something yeah vibes and that energy was was

captured there dude i'm gonna take you after this podcast is over into the main room of the comedy of the comedy room here at the ice house and you tell me if you don't feel vibes in this place. This place is fucking magic. The Ice House is a perfect example of a vortex of happiness. So many people have laughed their fucking ass off in that room. That room has a resonance. It's like a boom. Don't you feel it?

Yeah. You know what was really badass, by the way, speaking of? Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock were both at the Comedy Store last night. Really? What? Like, unannounced shows? It was so weird. I was just walking in.

Just hanging out? It's a trip on Tuesday or whatever. And I'm just like, holy shit, that's Eddie Murphy. Holy shit, that's Chris Rock. Were they on stage? No, they were just hanging out watching comedy. Speaking of which, we've got to get Charlie back in here, man. We haven't had Charlie in here in a while.

I've got to contact him. That was one of my favorite episodes. When he was telling the story about Mike Tyson, he pulled up to Mike Tyson's house and he was playing with a fucking lion. Charlie Murph is one of the greatest storytellers ever. The best animal. Last summer, I was in Hawaii with my family on vacation, and I ran into his cousin Rich at the resort.

I was like, what are you doing here? He's like, Charlie's here. Eddie's here. And I hung out with Eddie. I had lunch with Eddie Murphy and Charlie. It was like, this is the weirdest thing ever. From being a kid to watching Raw and then all of a sudden I'm talking to Eddie Murphy about comedy.

I was like, whoa, this is bizarre, man. We were just sitting there talking to him. Like, this is the strangest thing ever. He was super nice, man. I've heard Eddie Murphy could be a dick. He't have been nicer man he was maybe he was on vacation why with his family I mean but it was that was one of those things where I was I was I was talking I was like holy shit I'm talking to any Murphy right this is legit when that moment happens do you feel yourself like

projecting out of your body and getting lost in your own thoughts or do you keep it together pretty well and go oh shit I'm talking but focus up this is a moment no i stay in the moment yeah i there's a like a little voice like i'm like shut up bitch there's a six-year-old kid in cowboy cowboy pajama onesie yeah oh my god eddie murphy yeah the kid who listened to his first cd when he was on saturday night live it was a cassette back then his best work in my opinion wasn't even delirious it was the album before delirious where he talks about putting an aftershave on his dick and washing his balls sick and his grandma came in you lazy motherfucker washing washing your dick in the sink you're too lazy to even take a bath you're washing your dick in the sink it's fucking funny man this dude it's

there's a weird thing about like when i met anthony bourdain it was it seems silly but i met him it was a weird thing i was like oh Anthony Bourdain. It seems silly, but I met him. It was a weird thing. I was like, oh, this is fucking... I'm actually talking to Anthony Bourdain. This is strange. He had no reservations about it. Yeah. Oh, you did it!

Boom! When you like somebody and then you meet them, it's real weird. So when people meet me and they get weirded out, I'll go, dude, I've been there. Don't worry about it. Just get through it. Ride it out. Right. I'm a human being.

You're a human being. Let's go. Realize we're all just people. It just takes time. Ride it out. I'm a human being. You're a human being. Let's go. We're all just people. It just takes time. That said, Kevin Smith for president. That's who I'm voting in. Kevin Smith? Kevin Smith for president. Is he running? No. I think I'm going to vote him in. He's a good guy.

Seems like he would run things fairly. Ventura's running. He started out from scratch. He's my guy. Everyone talks about Gary Johnson and people even mention me. I think Kevin Smith. I say he's a good dude. Let's put him for president. You know, no one's, no one's, everyone talks about Gary Johnson and people even mention me. I think Kevin Smith. I say he's a good dude.

Let's put him for president. You want to be his vice president? Kevin Pereira, vice president? Really? Ventura was talking about running in 2016. Yeah, but Howard Stern is his running mate. I think that's awesome. Howard Stern is his running mate?

Yeah. That'd be awesome. But Ventura is like, what's his record of everything from entertainer to book writer to government official to Navy SEAL? What about Tower 7? Is that something they never bring up is Tower 7? So good. I was a Navy SEAL. Love it.

I want that. Tower 7. It's one step closer to President Camacho. I think that he has a good grasp on the amount of fuckery in this government. But if you listen to the way he debated with Jimmy Norton when he went on the Opie and Anthony show, him and Jimmy Norton had something. That was a shitty moment. He's kind of a fuckhead.

He's got some fuckhead in him. Don't they all? Unfortunately. Yeah, everybody does. Don't they all? Everybody does. So this Brondeau. You need to get him on mushrooms.

Was your Brondeau a full toilet or is it one of those lids? It's a lid. It's just like the ones in Japan. They take your regular lid off and they put this electronic ass clean in by flamma jammy, warm water up your butt thing. It's amazing. It's a USB cable that gets in there and cleans it all out. And it's something that makes you realize, like, why are we so gross with our smearing

poo paper? Because that's all it is. We need the three seashells. We all need to have our asses cleaned like that. It would probably be, like, way healthy. That's what a good girlfriend is for. Muslims make fun of us. Muslims make fun of us.

Yeah, that's when you really love a chick, when you shit in front of her. I've seen guys shit in front of their girlfriends. I was like, I've never been that comfortable with somebody. A real relationship, you do it on her. I mean, just chest in plastic wrap and just get it going okay alone i think the rumors of stallone even if they were true it's like i've seen it all you want to fucking shock me shit on my chest you have to read the dirt man when they're putting hotel room phones into women's assholes and trying to order room service by yelling into them no yes

this is in the right the motley crew book it's a great book oh my god again not even a fan of motley crew but the shit they did if it's on audible it's absolutely worth listening to whoa yeah imagine you're the next person that fucking hotel room and you go to i can't pick up dessert i'm getting weird about hotel rooms you should. Yeah, the remote control is like the remote control and the bed spread. Not the sheets, but the bed spread. How many naked dudes have just beat off there? How many remote controls have been up someone's ass? Oh, yeah.

I don't have to clean this. I'll put that there. Right up their ass. Spider-Man. Yeah, bent over trying to use the remote from inside your ass with your sphincter. If I do a Kegel, I can watch pay-per-view. The thing is still pointing outward, right? You've got the IR beam coming out of the butthole.

So you're trying to squeeze it with your ass to get the right numbers. Time to check out. This fucking podcast is in the toilet, ladies and gentlemen. That's where it should be. Literally. That's where it should be right now. Literally.

And I don't like to say literally. Kevin Smith for president, folks. Let's get this trending. Let's make it that Kevin Smith on Twitter. He's a good fucking dude. He could run things. I'll vote for Kevin Pereira. Kevin Pereira and Kevin Smith. That was my point. We'll bring the two of them together. Dual ticket. Let's do it. I love him. I'll watch from the sidelines.

We need you out there preaching the word. We need the death squad support. I'll do it through Twitter. There we go. I'll preach through Twitter. Preach the revolution. And occasionally YouTube. And I'll, whatever. We can go to Kevin Rose's sex parties. We'll help you when you launch your new podcast on the Death Squad Network next week. Kevin Pereira, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm in. New top ten podcast. I got shit to plug. Let's do it. Introduced into the fucking matrix. We're going to change things, folks, from the ground floor. Will Onnit sponsor me? Fuck yeah. Done.

Done. Take it. Done. Done. Alright, folks. Let's fucking bring this bitch home. Kevin, you're an animal, a great human being. Thank you, sir. You're a fucking fantastic guest. Always a pleasure. We always, it was like we're about to run out of time on Ustream, but it's like, we could do another six hours of this shit. Yeah, right. We gotta a fucking fantastic guest. Always a pleasure. We always, it was like, we're about to run out of time

on Ustream, but it's like, we could do another six hours of this shit. Yeah, right. We gotta do this more often. We gotta do a marathon. For the kids.

We're gonna. You're gonna have your own podcast. I'm gonna do yours. You're gonna do mine. We're gonna keep this party rolling this weekend, you fucking savages in North Carolina.

We will be in Raleigh at Memorial Hall Friday night, which is, what's today, the 26th? The 28th. Friday the 28th

of September at Memorial Hall in Raleigh and then Saturday night we're at the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium in Asheville, North Carolina.

Asheville, I hear that's a bad motherfucking town. Except for the white dudes with dreadlocks and the drum circles. I hear that shit's gotta go. So. Except for the white dudes with dreadlocks and the drum circles. I hear that shit's gotta go.

So what we need to do is get to Asheville and introduce those kids to some fucking squats. Some deep squats and some bison meat, okay? Put the tofu down. If you don't eat bisons, they just rot or monsters come and eat them. And then we get more monsters eating bisons. Whatever can kill a bison, you don't want that fucking thing around, okay? Trust me. Kill the bison yourself.

Keep the population in line. Have a good steak. Build that testosterone. Do hill sprints. I want you to do some sandbag training. Start taking jujitsu, my friend. Trying to make some armies here. And the only way the army really is going to work is if they're smart,

so they've got to take the alpha brain. Go to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T. Get yourself some alpha brain. Thanks again to Audible.com for sponsoring this podcast. And if you go to Audible.com forward slash Joe, you can try Audible free for 30 days and get a free audio book. There's a lot of good ones. Fuck, what was the one, the Bobcat Goldthwait?

Bobcat Goldthwait's got a couple of good books up there too. He is a brilliant motherfucker. And he's a great guy. We had him on the podcast. We love him. And that's it. Okay, so we will see you next week. We've got a ton of podcast guests next week,

including Amber Lyon, formerly of CNN. She's awesome. Who's going to tell us what the fuck is going on in this crazy, wacky world of the media. We also have the guys from London Real. And London Real is a great podcast that has been, they've said themselves, they were inspired by this one. And that's what made them start it. And they're doing a fucking amazing job.

They've had Graham Hancock on and Simon Powell and a bunch of really interesting people who've talked a lot about psychedelics and martial arts and philosophies. It's very, very similar to this show in a lot of ways and really interesting, introspective, honest dudes. So they will be on next week as well, and we're fucking...

We got shit rolling, bitches. Can I sneak in a 10 second plot I totally forgot to let's ask America dot TV it's a new game show that I'm doing syndicated tele pictures it's only in a few markets but if you guys go there click on the YouTube link watch the first episode or two you might not like it I love it it's a fun silly game show you should fucking be on it I'll do it yeah you play from home using Skype I'll do it so any of your audience can sign up and I've seen dudes Win $50,000 in 20 minutes

I've hosted a show And handed out 50 grand For having an opinion About America Holy shit On your webcam That's amazing It's a brand new game show

I'm having a blast doing it So what would I do Would I be a judge or something No you could be a contestant I could be a contestant Yeah I mean you'd probably Have to play for charity I'll play for charity

Done Okay You'll pick a good charity You got it Okay beautiful Thank you Let's ask America about TV Hopefully we'll get

Ian Edwards back next week. Ian's a fucking hilarious comedian. He should be here today, but honestly, Kevin Perry's a better guest. But Ian's a great guy. No, Ian's a great guy. What the fuck is this? He's just fucking around. Well, he's a better guest.

Check out my new podcast, Dead Squad. You know why he's a better guest? Because he's here. Battle Roads. That's right. He didn't have to fuck. Cancel that flight, bitch. You got a flight?

Cancel it. Change it. Move it around. Don didn't have to fuck. Cancel that flight, bitch. You got a flight? Cancel it. Change it. Move it around. Don't cancel the podcast. How dare you? Millions of people listening to this shit. This is for you. It's disrespectful, Joe, and I'm sorry that it happened.

It's for all of us together. We are all in this dirty thing together, ladies and gentlemen. Remember, if I can tell you anything, give you any piece of advice, is you can be the hero of your own story. If your life was a movie and it started right now, act like you're the hero. Get shit done. Do what the hero would do, and you will have a beautiful life.

Good night. See you soon. Next week, maybe I'll see you this weekend. If you live in North Carolina, if you're fucking crazy enough to just travel there. I have a Death Squad show here Friday, by the way. Tickets are on sale. Who's on?

Icehousecomedy.com. It's a secret. You've got to say who's on the show. No, by the way. Tickets are on sale. Who's on? IceHouseComedy.com. It's a secret. You've got to say who's on the show. No, it's a secret right now. You know it's going to be quality because it's Death Squad. I'm trying. I'm part of the family. You've got to support that show.

You don't know who's on. Actually, I know a couple other people. I'm still waiting on a couple people. This guy TBD, he's fucking hilarious. You're going to be on it? Huh? You're going to be on it? I'm going to be on it.

Randy Littke's going to be on it? Huh? You're going to be on it? I'm going to be on it. Randy Litke's going to be on it. And it's a really hilarious comic named Al Jackson that was on a few of Ari Shaffir's podcasts. I just met him last night and it seems really funny. So we're going to have him on it. If you want to listen to Ari Shaffir's podcast, it's called The Skeptic Tank. You can get that shit on iTunes.

Joey Diaz is The Church of What's Happening Now. You can get that on iTunes as well. Tom Segura, our boy, and his wife, Christina Pazitsky, the very funny and beautiful Christina Pazitsky. You can get them. Their podcast is called Your Mom's House. That is also available on iTunes. All this shit is free. And, of course, the Duncan Trussell Family Hour.

That is the Death Squad universe, ladies and gentlemen. And we'll see you guys soon. We love you all. We feel it. We're moving in this thing together somehow or another we will make it all better or not or it doesn't matter it goes on forever it repeats itself it's a fucking see you on the next cycle brother yes big kiss Thank you. Diolch yn fawr iawn am wylio'r fideo.