The Joe Rogan Experience - #271 - London Real

Episode Date: October 2, 2012

Joe sits down with London Real.

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Gentlemen, welcome. Welcome. Thank you. It's awesome to be here. So good to have you guys here. I saw you guys on YouTube a while back.

I don't remember what the... I should just say the gentlemen, Brian and Nick. Who's Brian? Who's Nick? I'm Brian Rose. Who's Brian? Who's Nick? Nick. From London Real. These guys are one of the coolest up-and-coming podcasts

that I've had a chance to listen to. And really, it's fucking right up our alley. The stuff you guys talk about, the people that you have on. You had Jacques Vallée on. You had Graham Hancock on. Fresco, you mean. up our alley the stuff you guys talk about the people that you have on you know you had jacques valet on you had uh you had graham hancock on fresco you mean did i say i'm sorry which one is jacques valet i don't know fresco's 96 year old fresco's the the venus project project guy yeah sorry mr jacques uh but you've had uh you know you had graham hancock on you guys have had some

just right up our alley guests. It's really beautiful to see that there's more out there, that there's people that are doing this in London. There's people that are doing this in Toronto. I ran into a lot of people in Toronto that have podcasts now. And it's essentially all the same thing. It's like you get together and you go, I would like to talk about some shit that I don't see talked about in the mainstream news like there's all this nonsense in the news about celebrities or about parts of the

world that really don't even have anything to do with our day-to-day lives but there's all these other weird subjects that aren't getting covered you know there's so much fascinating things about what's going on with these psychedelics like what is this what are they here for what's this all about because this can this be a debate for intelligent people to sit down and talk or does it immediately get derided and and and reduced to some silliness to some oh yeah well you're going to take hallucinogens yeah why don't you just fucking why don't you get up in the morning put a tie on like a gentleman you know to Hancock about that. As soon as I mention ayahuasca or anything, everyone's eyes just glaze over.

And they're like, oh, you're one of those guys. Yeah, they think you're a crazy person. If you want to talk about altered states of consciousness, you're a crazy person. In California too? Yeah, well, it's a little better here. It's a little better here. This is the most progressive spot in the country, I think, as far as the ideas of – I have a feeling about humans in America. It's not that there's not amazing people on the East Coast.

There's amazing people all throughout the country. But I think there's a prevailing attitude of the region. People always talk about liberals in California. Well, the reason why is because the East Coast is where all the people first landed. That's where all the people from Europe were like, fuck Europe. We're so done. There's a new spot. They can't fuck with you. We're going to make our own laws.

And that got all crazy and cunty and people just decided to keep going. And a lot of people kept going. And they just kept going. They eventually, on fucking horses with wooden wheels, got all the way to the other side. And we're like, fuck, we can't go any further. All right, let's stop.

People complain when the transatlantic flight is delayed by 30 minutes. They don't remember what our ancestors went through, right? Yeah, they had to eat each other, man. They would eat each other in the mountains. They ate each other. Yeah, that's no joke, man. It was a scary time for human beings. And I think there was a lot of times where

people would start out and not make it. I think it's always a scary time for human beings though, Joe. This is a scary game we're all playing, right? It is. It's the same scary game we were playing when I was in high school. When I was in high school, it was about the Soviets. It was always... Yeah, you were talking about that recently. People forget. I mean, I used to go to sleep at night

really worried about nuclear war. How old are you? I'm 41. Remember that movie, movie the day after it was on when i was like 10 or 12 it was this whole television movie about basically a nuclear war in the end of it i mean i stood up i was up for days scared about that i don't remember that one in particular but i bet i saw it i've seen so many of them i've seen so many apocalyptic mad max type movies where the for some reason you know i am legend type shit goes down. Do you think America needs an enemy? Like,

do we need someone to kind of always be the bad guy? Well, we're not real. So when you say, does America need an enemy? America is not even real. It's just a bunch of humans and they decide to call it America and act as a group.

But it's pretty obvious at this point that it's, that's not real. It's us. That's real. It's humans. And it might as well be you guys. When you that's not real it's us that's real it's humans and it might as well be you guys when you're here you're americans it's like what is america it's just a fucking spot it's just a spot and the idea that this spot acts as one unit and and we should all go along with what the spot's doing that's fucking completely ridiculous because

we don't get a say it's and what they're doing is completely contrary to what most of the people in this country would want to get done. So what we have is like a fake country. And we have really a dictatorship that's run by money. And it's just run with a loose grip. It's not run with a dog collar around your neck so you constantly feel oppressed.

It's run with a loose grip of corruption. It's a loose grip of corruption and entanglement where there's no way to get into the system where a guy like Gary Johnson who's the only one left running for president who makes any fucking sense the libertarian candidate can't even get it in on the debates because they won't treat him seriously because the the media is really fake the media is really bought and sold and it's a news program. It's a news program where they pick and

choose what aspects of the news, what angle of the news, instead of giving you all the information and anything that has anything to do with criticizing America or anything that shows America in a bad light, it's all got to be reviewed before it's put on air.

While I was watching you while you were giving that speech, I just really felt that you really want people to wake up. You really are trying to... They should wake up too. They can't operate like this. They don't have to. The news doesn't have to operate like this. The government doesn't have to operate like this.

The corporations don't have to operate like this. No one's saying you can't do business. What we're saying is business doesn't mean you have to fucking rob people. Business doesn't mean you have to use lobbyists to influence policy so that you can pollute rivers. Business doesn't mean that you can store nuclear waste in the middle of the fucking desert because you don't know how to get rid of it. You're not supposed to do any of that stuff. Until you know how to get rid of it, don't make it. We really probably shouldn't even be on fucking nuclear power because we've had several major incidents over the past 100 years.

100 years ain't shit when it comes to how long the fucking Earth is and how long radioactive material lasts. So if you're having nuclear, if they put together these power plants that if something goes wrong, that spot is poison for 100 000 years you cannot live there anymore and then even after 100 000 years who's gonna be the first to fucking move back there if we've keeping any sort of accurate records whatsoever who the fuck is gonna be the first person to move back to where there was a nuclear disaster and power plants imploded no one no. No one's going

to do that. So that spot's ruined essentially for longer than humans have existed. That's how long we've ruined Chernobyl. That's how long we've ruined Fukushima. We're ruining these spots. And there's a lot of power plants, man, hundreds of them all over the place. And they could all equal a spot where one day you can't go anywhere near them we're assuming we're going to be able to keep the power on indefinitely and cool these fucking things off that's why they've built them yeah but it's in our human nature to only change your behavior when something really bad happens it's just the way it is right what's fascinating it's it's just an aspect of denial you know it's and that's how corporations

work the reason why corporations are able to get away with the shit they do, bribe politicians and influence literally war and murder, is because they act as a group that's just trying to get zeros and ones. They're just trying to get money. So they don't look at things in terms of like their moral value. They look at things in terms of is this good for our stockholders? Is this good for our business? Can we make a profit here? Can we get over there? And when you have companies where, you know,

you get a guy like Dick Cheney, who's the fucking head of a company called Halliburton, that fixes shit up after it gets blown up. And then this guy becomes the vice president and just starts blowing shit up and then giving these contracts to the company that he used to run. that is one of the craziest things that's ever happened in front of human beings there was it was essentially a jacking on television live publicly and government sanctioned

where they jacked a whole country and jacked the american people too and made us give money to these corporations that would fix shit that we blow up and even build shit that's not necessary. If you talk to people that are over there, they'll tell you that they just have a certain amount of money they're supposed to spend and they have a certain amount of projects. They can build a desalinization plan

that people are like, we don't fucking need this. We're building it. You need it, you want it, it doesn't matter. We're building a desalinization plan because we like we don't fucking need this like we're building it you know you need it you want it it doesn't matter we were building a desalinization plan because we got the contract for it and it's just billions of dollars is going over there billions and billions neil degrasse tyson had a speech where he was talking about that we have the capability now we have the knowledge and the know-how to build a telescope that literally can go back and look at the beginnings of time like we can build a telescope that is just infinitely more powerful than anything that exists today.

It would cost about $10 million. $10 billion to, you know, it sounds like an incredible amount of money, until you find out how much money they're spending in Iraq. They spend $10 billion every few days. It's just constant. Our species must have a really negative karma because we have so much potential but we just seem to channel it in the wrong direction maybe maybe it's not us maybe it's just our karma that we're burning through we have to go through all this shit

it's not us it's just the look the business of running countries has not changed although the access to information has changed radically so the understanding of what a country really is has changed radically. But the business of running countries has not changed. The same thing that they did during the Roman Empire, they're doing today. They're just doing it through a loose series of guidelines. But it's really clear that they're robbing countries' resources, controlling people's militaries, attacking people mercilessly, putting fear and terror. And you want to talk about Orwellian.

We have fucking robots that we operate with remote control from the other side of the planet that shoot missiles from the sky that kill people. Like, that is bananas. The fact that that's one of the major ways that we rocket in 2012 we literally send fucking darth vader spaceships that shoot rockets from the sky that is the that's insane joe do you do you ever get like concerned that you might have or you might face repercussions from the u.s government one way or another for the views you promote in your show well not because i i just it's everything that i'm saying is all obvious It's all right out there in the open.

I mean, if you want to look at the Halliburton thing, it's not like, that fucking Rogan, he gave up the goods on Halliburton. Everybody knows that Halliburton is a completely corrupt, the relationship that Halliburton to the United States is completely corrupt, just by virtue of the fact that they got no-bid contracts, these enormous, enormous contracts. That's not the taxpayers being looked after. That's not the government being frugal or being conservative with money.

That's a relationship between someone who influenced either directly with money or indirectly by getting their former CEO to run the country. I think the idea of a corporation is a good thing. I just think you need to regulate the fuck out of them. They have to have a good mindset. I mean, from just a limited liability corporate standpoint, you do believe that there's a reason for them. Because otherwise, if you couldn't invest in Onnit,

otherwise they might come and take your car away if it was unlimited liability. I believe in paying taxes. I pay my taxes. I never cheat on my taxes. I pay a lot of money in taxes. I believe in state taxes, too. I pay state taxes in California. I know a lot of

people that move to Nevada strictly because they don't have to pay state taxes. I don't mind paying for things. I don't mind government. I think it all can be done correctly, but it's all going to be done. It sounds corny as fuck, but it's all going to be done with love. It can't be done with fear. It's all being done with fear. The whole way the world is being done is being done with fear. Everybody's like, fuck you. I'm going to nu done with love it can't be done with fear and it's all being done with fear the whole way the world is being done is being done with fear and it's everybody's like fuck you i'm going to nuke you if there were people they would be the most ridiculous people ever if iran and israel were people you'd want to kill the both of them you'd be like well you two just shut the fuck up my god you bickering cunts you next door door neighbors who just, you're a fucking baby. You're a baby.

This one asshole has a cartoon bomb he's using in a UN speech to show when it gets to here, that's when we're in trouble. It's a bomb showing Iran's nuclear capabilities. Have you seen this? No. Pull this up, Brian. Who is this doing this to? Netanyahu, that motherfucker. Oh, okay.

That silly bitch. Netanyahu, who's the the what is the prime minister of israel he's showing like when we have to attack iran he's got this nuclear bomb and it's like get to a certain point and that's when you got to attack they're just i mean they're insecure over there and they're like pawns in a little chess game that all the big powers are playing what's his name net zero yahoo net netanyahu yeah netanyahu. Something like that. Yeah, Netanyahu bomb cartoon. I think we need some joint Israeli-Palestinian podcast.

I think we just need them talking. Shut them in a room together. Yeah, that's the conflict to end all conflicts. That's the conflict that's been going on forever. It's like it's never going to end. That whole Middle Eastern conflict. Look at that. Look at that picture. Is that the most ridiculous shit ever? He's like, it's never going to end. That whole Middle Eastern conflict. Look at that. Look at that picture.

Okay, that's ridiculous. Is that the most ridiculous shit ever? He's like, well, this is it. When Aminijad said it's childish, and I agree with Aminijad. How about that? Is that a first? The dude who fucking says

there's no Iranian gays. He doesn't believe in gay marriage. He's, I believe, who knows what it is. It's a Holocaust denier as well. Aminijad really said. Is he a Holocaust denier?

Aminijad is, yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, I believe in him knows what a Minijad really said. Is he a Holocaust denier? A Minijad is, yeah. Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, I believe in him when his taste in cartoons is excellent. At least you're honest. It seems like you know, if corporations and governments all sort of have this diffusion of responsibility, and

even though we're in America, all the things that go on that we don't agree with're in america all the the things that go on that we don't agree with like drone attacks and all the shit you know it all it becomes a matter of how much of an impact does that have on the the whole rest of the population and if it only has a minor impact on the rest of the population a lot of times you can get away with it and that's the situation that we're in right now is that know that in order to change things, it would require a major overhaul. And it would be really difficult for a lot of people. I mean, the government is comprised of a huge amount of human beings.

There's a lot of people that essentially are completely unnecessary if we had a real just and true government. They're really not necessary. I don't really believe in the conspiracies. I think it's just people have these positions where they have these great jobs and they're collecting money as a contractor, Halliburton, and why change things? Yeah, there's a lot of that, but there's also conspiring. We know they conspired with Enron and essentially Halliburton was, they were allowed to conspire. Halliburton's clear conspiracy. But we also know a lot about government conspiracy from the past that's not just like ideas and thoughts,

but stuff that actually has been proven to have happened, like the Gulf of Tonkin, the idea that they got us into a war in Vietnam with like a fake story. The Operation Northwoods, Operation Dirty Trick, which is where they were going to blow. John Glenn was going to be the first person into orbit. And if anything happened to his space shuttle, his rocket, they were going to blame it on the Cubans. We were going to blow up some fucking...

It was a reason to attack Cuba. We were like, look, it's a win-win. If John Glenn makes it, he's the first guy in space. If it doesn't make it, we blame it on the Cubans. We go fuck them up. And that was the plan. This is not a conspiracy. This is written documents.

Do you think the government needs some secrecy? Otherwise, there's no diplomacy? No, no. There shouldn't be diplomacy. But Obama can't announce the night before he's going to go in and assassinate bin Laden. No, of course. So there has to be some kind of... First of all, I don't believe they did assassinate bin Laden.

No, no. I think that dude's been dead for years I've talked to people if I had to say I'd probably say

that more than anything else that Joe Boat is fishing yeah I've talked to dudes who are in

you know special forces type jobs and they were like no that guy's been dead forever they're like those guys

I don't know what the fuck happened and dudes were laughing about it I don't know just didn't

sound right that story nope didn't sound right to that story. Nope. Didn't sound right to anybody in any other country either. Did you hear about that guy that wrote that book that's like a national bestseller that he was one of the guys? Yeah, he was one of the guys. His story differs from the government version of it. Yeah, he said it was really weird.

His beard was completely black when they came in and there was no gray hairs and stuff. Would he be really just fermenting his beard? Well, he might.an walsh does i think it looks sexy as fuck on brendan i would support it yeah why not you do you don't do it who cares you know uh but uh i don't believe who cares i don't care if they i don't think you know the whole reason why that guy existed is because we do the only way a guy like uh that guy existed is because we do the only way a guy like uh osama bin laden or any of these radical guys ever exists is there's got to be some great empire to oppose and it's not a great empire of altruism that's trying to help people off all over the world and and trying to enhance

the lives of people and clean up their areas and make money in helping countries instead of making money and just robbing their resources and then taking out their military and taking out their government. All empires collapse, though, Joe. It will collapse sooner or later. Yeah, that's the problem. We don't have to have an empire. See, that's the problem.

All empires do collapse because they're run by cunts. You can't run an empire and not be a cunt. What we need is civilization. We don't run an empire and not be a cunt. What we need is civilization. We don't need an empire anymore. All these organizations, they're not necessary. What we need to figure out is how natural resources can be distributed equally to all nations. That sounds fucked up, but that's reality is otherwise everyone's just going to go where the resources are. Brian, I argue about this a lot. I mean, I think I'd like to believe that that's the case, that we can have a free society, a fair society.

But I think, Brian, you believe that like human nature just it's never going to happen, right? I mean, I have a lot of thoughts about human nature. I think humans are inherently lazy. And if we had like a socialist system, a lot of people wouldn't do anything. So I think capitalism does motivate people to a certain extent of course it can go a little too far It certainly can these corporations start acting in their own interest and they become really big and so it certainly is a great motivating factor I believe you should be rewarded for your efforts I mean I believe that in many of the ideas that go behind capitalism where I think we fuck up is with shit like the

stock market Things that can be manipulated where you can gamble on... I got to talk to you about derivatives. I got to drop some science. Please explain. All right. So I actually spent some time in Boston.

I spent four years at MIT. I think around the same time you were there. I don't know if I... I don't went to many comedy clubs when I was there. That's a fucking awesome town if it wasn't so cold. Especially Cambridge.

What a great place. We were right across from the Necco Wafer Factory on 233 Mass Avenue. So you worked in, you understand derivatives? So yeah, I got a mechanical engineering degree, but I went straight to Wall Street afterwards and worked in banking. And then for the last 10 years, I worked in London in the credit derivative industry. The worst of all derivatives. So what is it?

It's your gambling that things are going to fail, right? I was thinking about how i can talk about this and i hear you talk about it all the time so i figure out is it frustrating like this fucking nonsense is he saying it's like i have friends that'll talk about jujitsu you know like oh hoist gracie what do you do just grab them just reach over and grab their neck i'm like no he didn't it could be worse you could have friends you could have friends that talk about kung fu right and tell them how effective it is. Oh, no. I had a guy.

In fact, this is the worst shout-out I could ever give anyone, but he said to me, and he popped up with a chat one, he was like, try to talk to Joe about Kung Fu because I think he has some negative ideas. I was like, look, dude, I don't really believe in Kung Fu myself, so it's going to be tough for me to convince him. Well, you know, it's not that Kung Fu doesn't work. It's just it's definitely not the best way't work. It's just, it's definitely not

the best way to go. It's that simple. There's a lot of stuff that works. You know, if you backfist someone in the face, I mean,

it's not going to feel good. It's not going to feel good to get backfisted in the face, but it's not as good as you fucking overhand right somebody. It's just not. I think a better qualifier

is it's not that it doesn't work. It's just, it doesn't work on the right people. You know, you can probably knock out an 86-year-old grandmother

with the white crane dancing tiger technique, but try it on an MMA fighter. It's not going to happen. Well, it's also the way they practice it, the way a lot of people are practicing it. I'm like, oh, my God. You're being silly. It's like you're throwing a punch,

and then you're pretending that if you threw that punch, what I would do is I would step right here, and then I would attack your organs like this with a claw motion we just had um you're not gonna do that the guy's gonna punch you again and again and again he's gonna kick you in the dick it's gonna be a lot of shit happening you're not gonna have time to get off that claw claw to the liver we just had roger gracie in the studio on friday and he was talking about we were rubbishing off kung fu and karate something bad we're gonna get some hate but he was talking about the kata and how if you get good at the kata,

you get your belt. And he was like, but in Jiu-Jitsu, you spar and you have to test. You can put a choke on someone, but what about if he doesn't want you to put it on? And he just was kind of breaking down some of the core differences. Yeah, there's a big difference. I have a black belt in Taekwondo as well. And in Taekwondo, there was guys that were black belts that weren't that good.

They just weren't that good. They had been around a long time. They'd take their forms, and they did okay in sparring. But the reality is they weren't really black belts. They never reached that expert level. They could get mugged. Someone could kick their ass. They really weren't adept at fighting.

Do you know what I find is very interesting, Joe, which you might appreciate, is if you look at some of those more ridiculous martial arts, you see a guy who's like 45 or 50. Now, if you see a jiu-jitsu guy at that age, he's tough. He still rolls. He's like, he's in shape, you know. But you see one of these guys, and without fail, every single 45-year-old plus traditional martial artist

is the guy who's got like a slouch and a beer belly, and you can see he hasn't done a push-up for like 15 years. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, those like uchi ru guys yeah and the weirdest thing is they always they want to be called

by some weird title as well sabom nim yeah you said it was in the face so you pulled up like some web some facebook and you saw a guy

with a black belt and you're like look at his face it's not a jiu jitsu black belt because he didn't have the lines on his face from like all those hard because he doesn't

test himself he just hides behind like he gets his belt or he gets his certificate and he says okay that's me I'm this grandmaster and then all the little

students bow to him because they think he's got mystical powers but at the end of the day he's not progressing he's not progressing in his art and just makes my blood boil man

for those that don't know it Nick is a jiu-jitsu black belt yeah that's what jiu-jitsu is all about exposing reality and there's a lot of martial arts that are about putting on a show it's really kind of That's what jujitsu is all about, exposing reality. And there's a lot of martial arts that are about putting on a show.

It's really kind of completely contrary to jujitsu. That's why Taekwondo had a big impact on me as a child because in doing something that was difficult in Taekwondo, it was like the first character- thing that i did as as a person but there's a lot of cult aspects to it you know the bowing and the calling the you know the instructor sir and always bowing to them there was like this none of that shit's in jujitsu the respect is all like real legitimate natural friendly respect like john jock machado i have a black brother in john jock as well and john jock is uh he's not just like a great jujitsu coach he's like everyone's friend he's like a really

nice guy so he's very informal but it's no one ever like disrespects him or no one ever takes advantage of that that friendliness and thinks that you know that they would be a better fighter than him or they can kick his ass sparring or something like that. But karate guys will always have to put on – I don't want to say always because a lot of them – it's done correctly and it is a discipline and it's all about maintaining the sort of – the mindset of the zen martial arts practitioner. There's a lot of people that are legit about it.

But there's also a lot of people that they just want to put up a fucking dog and pony show so that you don't challenge them and test them. And then they develop a fucking gut. I got a great story for you. We'll get back to derivatives. Yeah, no, don't worry. I won't leave without that. So when I first started grappling in Cape Town,

it was right before before just after the first you've seen it was just starting to be understood about functional martial arts and um a few of the guys at the club where i trained they were they were going around they just wanted to learn so they were going to every martial arts club they could go to they could find and just just testing the instructor and seeing what they what they could learn from. So they get to a ninjutsu school. What is that, by the way? What is ninjutsu? It's what I wanted to learn when I was a kid.

I looked at martial arts magazines. I was trying to pick out martial arts to learn before I practiced anything. I was like, I'd be pretty good to be a ninja. Ninjas are cool. But I needed something where you could get a black belt. That's one of the reasons I went with karate first. I wanted to get a black belt. You don't even know who's the best one.

They all dress the same. I need a belt, man. So they get to this ninjutsu school, and they say to the guy, we'd like to spar with you. We'd like to see your system and what you can do. So he said, you will wait until after the class. And so they were like, okay. They stuck on and watched him walk on their hands, whatever it is you do in a ninjutsu class.

And then at the end of the class, the instructor said, he said, students, we have a challenger. And what he did is he took out a blindfold. He walked to the center of the mat and he knelt down, crossed his arms. We'll put the blindfold and crossed his arms. And then said to my buddy, he said, attack me. Get the fuck out of here. I couldn't make attack me. Get the fuck out of here. I couldn't make this up. Get the fuck out of here.

He might be crazy. Did you just punch him in the face? Well, my buddy looked around the room looking for a camera. He was like, this has got to be like some kind of joke. And then he just kind of, he ran around to the back of him and put on a rear naked choke. And this guy like squealed and didn't know what was going on. And eventually like the guy let him go

and that was the end of ninjutsu for our training, I guess. Well, he was really nice about it because he could have just punted him in the face. It's nice that he attacked. Like a pride kick. Yeah, fucking Shogun style. 2004.

No, instead he decided to choke him. That's a very nice guy because he could have just run up and just need the fuck out of his face. Or woe shamboed him, right? Yeah, he's a silly bitch. That's a very nice guy because he can just run up and just knead the fuck out of his face. Or woe shamboed him, right? Yeah, he's a silly bitch. What are you doing? Attack me.

Oh, my God. You're crazy. There's a lot of dudes who got mad at me online. A lot of these black dudes that do kung fu in New York because there's like a whole culture. Like from the Warriors, that kind of kung fu? Remember those guys? Most of it's fake kung fu. When I say fake kung fu, it's like a lot of they're doing, they're making shit up.

Like, what if you did like this? Oh, man, you can't do like that. Look at how much you got exposed. Like this area, I'm attacking your knee here, son. Like you got problems here. You know, I got a tiger claw to the side of your neck. Your whole side of your neck is wide open. Like they talk completely.

This is entertaining. Oh, I like watching. I laugh my ass off at them look these guys want to believe that they're real martial artists and they're really mad I mean like and the guy was like come on son you tell me if I hit you in the face with a monkey paw that wouldn't hurt yeah I would yeah if you

if I let you hit me in the face with a monkey paw it would probably hurt but the crazy thing is that's not what I'm saying here what I'm saying is you're practicing some nonsense kid alright but we all have aspects of our life in which we're deluding ourselves you know what i mean we just probably can't identify them like oh for them it's martial arts for us it may be i don't know our relationships or whatever there's yeah people love to delude themselves it's way easier than

facing the insignificance of your reality in this crazy picture of the whole universe protection mechanism for the brain that's what the ego is for, to give you a reason to stay alive until you can get enlightened enough that you no longer need the ego to appreciate this existence. But the ego's there to keep you alive. You're super special when you're a fucking 10-year-old.

You know, your ego... Oh, that makes sense. That makes so much sense. It's just an engine to push you forward. And then from there, it's all about getting enlightened to the point where you no longer need the ego to enjoy the existence.

But that doesn't happen in the West. Yeah, it does. It happens. You can do it. I did it. I mean, I'm not perfect, but I'm certainly way more evolved than I was when I was a younger person.

But what was that, through training? Yes. Or through psychedelics? Both. All of the above. Jiu-jitsu for sure helped. I've been doing jiu-jitsu since 96 and I think just getting constantly fucking strangled and going at it until your heart's going to explode in your chest and you're trying not to tap. But you know, you got to realize you got to tap and then you got to go again because there's still four minutes left in the round.

And you're fucking – you know, you're going at it. And you develop these intense relationships with people because you understand their character. You see dudes that break. You see dudes that will never break. You know guys that are so tough to tap. And you know guys that are a monster out of the gate, but then they run out of gas. That's me. It's so different.

Even one level up, it's like I'm a jiu-jitsu instructor. And then I don't know if all jiu-jitsu instructors have it. I'd love to hear from some of the others. But when all your students are watching and there's that young, tough 20-year-old kid and he's like a tough purple belt and you're tired and you've got a carrying injury or something, you know you've got to put it on the line. These fuckers aren't going to respect you anymore. It's really tough.

It's true. It's difficult. And you know what? The reality is there's a lot of instructors out there with Marcelo Garcia comes to their school. They're going to get tapped. Yeah. So they have to figure out what to do here. Do I just let everybody know, yeah, Marcelo can tap me and this is how – watch me get treated like a baby.

I mean a lot of people have a real issue with that. And then there's a lot of dudes that say, okay, now I'm an instructor. I have to make sure I'm lifting weights. You know, I have to be bigger and stronger. Like, Eddie Bravo talks about that. Like, he fights for his life when he's in those classes. Because Eddie's at such a high level right now, especially his guard. His guard is fucking so nasty.

I've rolled with a lot of dudes, but he's one of the few guys, him and Denny, one of the few guys that consistently catch me from their guard. From the guard. Yeah, it's fucking hard to catch someone from the guard. Joe, man, I got to roll with you. Yeah, we got to roll. Seriously, dude. Okay.

Maybe Thursday. Could you do Thursday? Okay, cool. But, yeah, come to 10th Planet. Yeah, I will. I would love to have you guys. I think that when you do that on a regular basis and you tap people, you get tapped, you strain, you blow through all the energy that you have in an endeavor. Especially one that's so primal.

Jiu-jitsu is so life and death. Even though you can do it and no one gets hurt. It's the craziest thing, man. You know, I have this theory that jiu-jitsu, I reckon you would know more about someone after a 10-minute jiu-jitsu match than a 10-minute conversation. Fuck yeah. 10-hour conversation, man. Yeah. You see that character come through. Maybe 10 fucking years.

You know, there's certain dudes where you tap them once and then they're done. You own them. You can just run right through them. You know, even if they're not tired, they start giving stuff up you know you see it you see like and you're like come on man pull your arm back you know put your arm tuck yourself you got to protect yourself just get that leg that leg and you'll start walking through it you don't want them to break you want them to like to build up and you know you want them to like offer legitimate resistance and that's what sparring is supposed to be about that happened to me in Brazil. I went down as a white belt and I was training Gracie Baja.

And like all week I was getting my ass tapped out as a white belt. And then Friday was no gi day and I showed up obviously with no belt. And I started rolling with this one dude and I tapped him like six times. And I think he just didn't know who I was. And after that first tap, it was over. Yeah, it can happen. And then there's dudes that are like, I remember this guy, man. This guy just started doing jiu-jjitsu he was this crazy armenian dude i mean he had just started he

was just learning techniques and he would spar with anybody and this fucking guy just would not tap he would fight to the death and watching him roll with people i'm like check this motherfucker out like you would think he was done. And he would just, ah, just fucking struggling. And he wasn't strong. And he wasn't big. He was just fucking proud as shit. And bound and determined not to tap.

Not necessarily the best way to go about it. No. He had to get over that. But you gave him some respect. Fuck yeah. Well, I remember watching him because it was one of his first classes. back oh fuck yeah well i remember watching him because it was one of his first classes and you know it's really it's fascinating to me fascinating to me watching people just start jujitsu you know what joe the the jujitsu jujitsu guys were the modern day jedi knights yeah you

know like hickson would be like the yoda equivalent you know what i mean it's like it's it's kind of cool when you think about it that way. We are people who take ourselves to the limit. Do you know what I mean? And that's why there's such a camaraderie between jiu-jitsu guys. Do you know what I mean? Like, you know so much about a jiu-jitsu guy when you shake his hand. Yeah. Yeah, I think you have to have, I always talk about how well, like, jiu-jitsu guys have control of their ego.

It's like, it's very rare you run into a jujitsu guy who's completely out of control. So many of our early guests were actually jujitsu guys because it was who we knew for London Real. We must have had eight of them. They were all just these cool, grounded, pretty humble dudes, still smart, still excelling in their field,

but they were just checked on a regular basis. That's what it is, man. It's getting checked on a regular basis. It's huge. It's so important. That's what it is, man. It's getting checked on a regular basis. It's huge. It's so important. It's what I said about the ego. Your ego, it leads you to victory. It leads you to want the glory and the accolades.

But ultimately, it fucks you. If you fight with your ego, everybody knows that, you'll lose your composure. You'll get crazy, especially if you start getting tagged. Instead of fighting smart, you'll just fucking flail back you'll try to attack back which is oftentimes the total wrong approach like you have to do the right thing technically so you have to if you if you're going to do the right thing technically you have to be in complete control of your ego you can't even let that factor into the process have you you have to look at it as a game yes you can sense that i mean his presence he is i was we interviewed him on our show the other day,

and one of the things I brought up was I've known him for almost 10 years, and Joe, I swear to God, I've never seen him lose his cool. He is the most Zen person on the planet, or the one most Zen person I know. And it goes hand in hand with good jiu-jitsu. Like I noticed the calmer I'm getting as a human being, maybe it's because of aging or meditation, hand in hand with good jiu-jitsu like i notice the calmer i'm getting as a human being maybe it's good to aging or meditation the better my jiu-jitsu is the more i'm in touch with reality when i'm like sparring with someone and uh i find that interesting i do as well i think jiu-jitsu is an excellent part of of daily life for a man especially and i think um it's just one aspect

you know the others are nutrition, philosophy, thought, conversation, conversation with others. I know this podcast for sure. People talk about how much this podcast has helped them. It's helped me too because it's helped me really review a lot of the ideas that I have in my head and my take on things and really

in projecting it out to other people or broadcasting it out to people, you also are forced to sort of take a real account of all your thoughts. And it's sort of like teaching jiu-jitsu makes your game better. You learn by teaching.

Yeah, if you teach jiu-jitsu, man, you're going to empathize, right? Yeah, my friend Brent, perfect example, was always like a decent purple belt. Always, you know, but he wasn't like the best guy. And, man, he started fucking teaching.

He's a black belt now, but he started teaching. And when he was teaching, it's like within a year, his game went up so many notches. Like all of a sudden, he was dangerous as fuck. All of a sudden, every time you rolled with him, he was snatching camores. You're like, oh, this is like he's doing this perfect. Like he had the tech. His technique became so sharp from teaching. You know why that is? I actually found out the other day because I'm, I noticed that as well. When I started teaching full time, I got, I got quite a

lot better. And we have, I don't know if I'm using the correct term, but there's a specific kind of neuron in our brain that fires when we see someone doing something. It's, I think it's called an empathy neuron. And so when you're a teacher, you watch your students and I don't know about your process when you teach them. But for me, what they do and i kind of in my mind i overlay what it should look like there's like a mental video overlay and then eventually i'll show them what to do and they'll do it correctly and it's kind of like me doing the technique again does that make sense yes yeah so um i guess that's what's happening when you watch someone else doing something or if you just involved in process, that's why you can get better watching fight videos.

Yeah, absolutely. And having knowledge of what to do already in your head, like having especially patterns. Like the other day, I was rolling and I had this guy in side control and he tried to get up to one knee. And as he tried to get up to one knee, I took his back and it was all in one second. The whole thing was like, you know, it all just like, you know, it happens. It's like you couldn't think, even if you were like an athletic person, you wouldn't be able to do it like that. Because you know what? What is happening is your mind is being bypassed.

My first coach always said to me, he used to say, your body knows what to do, but your mind gets in the way. Yes. And when that happens for me, it most beautiful it's so crazy crazy because it happens and it really is like magic it's like all of a sudden you got this dude's back you know it's like well and and especially if you freak a guy out like if you get he's like holy shit how'd this guy get my back like that like marcello is my favorite example that when you watch like marcello's arm drag to back there's a moment where these guys can't even believe this motherfucker got to their back so quick like how did he do that you know my buddy um my friend alexis um he's a high level

black belt now this is one of those guys a little bit a little bit skinny you know like so but he's reasonably athletic but he's not like an olympian you know so he's quite a fragile guy he's light he's like 150 160 pounds and he is so goddamn technical like he is literally like like a surgeon wielding a scalpel and he told me he went to train with marcello and he said he said to me nick i swear to god it felt like that man was reading my mind every move i did he knew if i went to put my hand down to get my balance, because he'd off-balanced me, he'd grab my hand. And then he'd know I'd reached a counter with the other hand, and he'd already have something queued up.

He said it was like reading my mind. You roll with him? No, I've never rolled with him. So, I mean, just think, like, for a high-level black belt to say that about Marcelo, isn't that exciting? We could all one day get perhaps close to that level. Yeah, the best guys I roll with are Jean-Jacques Machado. I roll with him pretty regularly.

I've rolled with Eddie Bravo a bunch of times, of course. And he's... And Denny. Denny Propagos is one of Eddie's black belts. He's got a nasty guard. And he's a small dude. He's only about 160 pounds. Still. Yeah. And he still can tap me from the guard regularly. He's wicked. Yeah, there's a lot. He's only about 160 pounds. Still? Yeah, and he still can tap me from the guard regularly.

He's wicked. Eddie's got a lot of guys that just have stupid guards. Shigeki's another one. This dude, and he's 135 pounds. What are you, Joe? Are you a ground player? Are you a ground player or a passer? What's your style? I've changed much more over

the years and tried to be much more guard-oriented and half- be much more guard oriented and half guard oriented and earn earn top position you know because i i most of my game most of my submissions were from the top and i realized that's unrealistic yeah roger's roger's dad marizio um i mean he's a seventh he's a red and a red and white red and black belt so i mean this guy's legit and he said to me i said when i was quite a bit younger i said like man you know marito i thought about it like i don't want to play on my back because i'm if i'm on my back i'm just trying to get to the top anyway so why don't i just go straight to the top and he said you know nick when

you get older you'll see you'll need your guard bro you'll need it because it's there's much more energy conservation when you're on your back and um i didn't think about it, but the older I get, you know, I kind of see that. I know what he was talking about. I like to earn it. You know, that's what Eddie always says. If you're going to attack someone from the top, you should earn that position.

So I always start off from guard. You know, I think that's a smart way. How often do you attempt planet? Well, I've been injured for five months. I fucked my back up. And what I tried to do was I tried to just lightly roll like an asshole. Even though I knew it was injured, I was like, I'll just roll with light guys and don't go hard. And then I fucked it up way worse.

And the one day where I tried to roll light set me back three months. Then I came back, and I only trained for a couple days, and I popped it out again. But it was much more mild this time. It was just a bad muscle tear and uh it's in my back it's where you're like in between your shoulder blades like that's where i tore the muscle which is really weird it was a jujitsu thing are you gonna be rolling till you're like 65 do you think or later you'll be like elio gracie till the wheels fall off i'm rolling till the wheels fall off i mean uh i gotta say it was nice during the five months that i was off where i didn't i was it wasn't always tweaked it was always like my elbow i should have tapped from that and i muscled out of it or my neck got tweaked

or it's always something i don't know about you but um for me and i'm sure from a few other jiu-jitsu guys you know when you when you get to the end of a hard week of training and you're just fucked you know everything hurts and you've got that like bone tiredness yeah yeah i i used to like fight against it but now i kind of get off on that you know what i mean i feel like in my body i'm alive do you know what i'm saying well you also feel like you've you've earned relaxation you've actually done something incredibly difficult like i had a great roll last night, and I came home, and this is my third time back from the injury, and I'm like I'm finally like pretty sure that it's –

if it's not 100%, it's definitely 90%, so I'm feeling great, and I was just fucking exhausted. And I just plopped down on the couch and watched TV. But I didn't feel guilty at all about watching TV. It's like I did something pretty fucking – I put forth some serious effort effort and I don't feel like I can enjoy like bullshit like fucking off like watching TV or something unless I've done something hard I feel like you should reward yourself with bullshit like but it's all a matter of managing it you know it's like I like to I like to watch TV or watch a movie after I've

written for a few hours. Or I just like, okay, I did my work. I can just shut off now. Man, I can't do it, Joe. Just telling Brian the other day, I sold my PlayStation and my TV. I realized I don't want it in my house anymore, man, because it sounds a bit strange, but I always feel kind of empty after watching TV or, and it's not porn, or playing video games. I don't feel like I've grown as a person.

I feel like I'm just like a vegetable, you know, and I'm happy to have it out the house. Well, there's a very different feeling that I get from playing video games than I get from doing other things that are difficult like pool. I play pool, which is also a lot of people would say is a waste of time. You know, like they always say that if someone is good at pool, it's a glorious result of a misspent youth. You know, that's what people result of a misspent youth.

That's what people describe like a really good pool player. But I feel that pool in a lot of ways is a lot like jiu-jitsu because it's a lot about managing your nerves. It's a lot about control of your body. It's a lot about concentration. It's not as fast-paced, but it's pretty intense when you play high-level pool. So to me, it's not just a game. It's also there's a lot of exercise going on there. There's a lot of exercise of control and composure.

And in striking the ball, in judging how hard to hit it, you literally are judging how much energy you release. You're controlling the effort. And it's very important because you can't hit everything full blast. It not like you know boxing where you're trying to knock somebody out in the first round you could just get away with all power punches you have to have a real good sense of how lightly or how hard you need to hit that ball and you need to be able to control that ball with a level stick so you need to figure out how to drive through it level as you're coming down there's a lot of thinking and weirdness going on.

If you look at it from a big picture perspective, there's a philosopher called Alan Watts. And he says, I think he was around in the 60s or the 70s. And he was saying how you'll get these wealthy people who they'll buy a huge boat. And then they wonder why it doesn't make them happy. And it's because pleasure comes from the acquisition, the process of acquiring a skill it doesn't come from like a material object yeah and um that made a lot of sense to me you know that's why like when you go and you get on the mat like now i find jiu-jitsu is the most fun now that i'm a black belt because i've acquired that skill and i can just enjoy it i'm not i'm not trying too hard to get better i'm just enjoying my skill i'm getting

pleasure from it you know what I mean? Absolutely. Yeah. Like, you know, when you have a good role, like say you get in there with a good purple belt or something like that, someone who's real scrappy, and you go at it, and you're countering each other, and you're attacking and countering each other, and then you finally catch a dude with something. It's like, man, you earned that shit, you know? There's something beautiful about pulling off a technique on an unwilling participant. You know, when you've figured out a way to bypass his defenses and you get in. And it's a fascinating game of intellect.

And that's what people don't understand. It's not just a physical thing. There's certainly physical aspects to it. Especially I feel them now because I'm just getting back into jiu-jitsu shape. Because even if you work out, it's not the same. Nothing like that. The only thing that comes close is kettlebells. There's especially

a kettlebell workout called Extreme Kettlebell Cardio Workout. Okay. This company called Dragon Door sells it and this motherfucker puts you through hell.

It's a light kettlebell too. He does it with a 35-pound kettlebell and I would have never believed that someone could give me a good workout with a little pussy-ass 35-pound weight and I'm like, bitch, where's the 70s, son? Let me show you what the fuck is up. How long? And I would have never believed that someone could give me a good workout with a little pussy ass 35 pound weight.

I'm like, bitch. Like, where's the 70s, son? Let me show you what the fuck is up. What the fuck is up? How long is it? Like 20 minutes? 45 minutes, man. And by the end of 45 minutes, 45 minutes with like a minute break here and there, like in between sets.

It's ruthless. It's ruthless. Your fucking legs want to die. It's like they're going to gonna break you feel like you're gonna step and your muscle is just gonna fall off your leg like you've you've ripped it all apart if you get through that 45 minutes with that kettlebell congratulations you're a beast yeah brian whenever we've got like a big show coming up or before ayahuasca trip like brian's like i gotta do my kettlebell workout in the morning because it puts you in a good mood yeah try to

get in the right zone it puts those endorphins going man it fires up your system you know it gets your testosterone production up that when you're doing like real like they always say that the best exercises for putting on mass are full body exercises like deadlifts traditionally squats things along those lines where your whole body has to move as a unit far more effective for putting on like real size and functional strength than like say just bench press or just curls or something along those lines. You know if you look at someone who is primary supplemental training outside jiu-jitsu is bodybuilding you can see they just don't move right. It's not the way the human body was designed to move through space you know that like

they're all locked through the chest and shoulders and there's no like horizontal movement in their hips there's only linear movement because if you think about you're pushing like 400 pounds on a leg press it's a very your muscles and your tendons your ligaments and your bones get used to working in a very specific direction there's no like balance and and uh and flexibility in it so i got a question about aubrey when he's on here and talking about all his crazy like iboga i remember you and brian were listening to him talking about Iboga, and you were like, I don't ever want to do stuff like that. Or when he talks about ayahuasca,

is that stuff that you guys just are like, never? I never want to touch that stuff? Oh, I would do ayahuasca in a heartbeat. I'm not worried about ayahuasca. Ibogaine seems, I think it would be great for someone who had real serious personality issues. Or addiction. Substance abuse issues.

I don't have those so Graham Hancock was talking about the abode and he's like I don't want to do it again the closest I have to a substance abuse issue is coffee I love coffee it's a powerful drug coffee or ayahuasca coffee was it ayahuasca that somebody died the other day from

supposedly yeah but they don't know if the ayahuasca killed him or if he yeah some of the shaman could have killed him the shaman because the shaman buried him so who knows if he died during a ceremony or you know he might have been an asshole somebody might have killed him you really i don't know i guess that was a legit shaman like like an old school yeah he was in some movie before that like oh really been like yeah and like a legit movie and then apparently this kid's dead. I'm writing that drug off.

One guy dies. Meanwhile, he smokes cigarettes. Isn't that hilarious? Cigarettes kill 500,000 people a year in this country alone. He's like, well, this fucking ayahuasca killed one asshole in Peru. Wasn't ayahuasca the drug that he said that makes you feel like you're dying the whole time? No, no, no. That's iboga.

I see iboga. Yeah, iboga. Fuck that drug. Yeah, fuck fuck that drug i think we both said fuck that drug yeah um i think i think it's very beneficial for certain people i i have a friend my friend ed who uh runs a center down in mexico um uh ed clagg's one of lloyd ervin's black belts um great guy and he's um he's his whole uh life changed because of ibogaine he took it and went down and and he had a an issue with pain pills he'd got an injury and like a lot of guys they get injured and the doctor will prescribe him something especially if you fuck up your back it happened to someone i know very very well me as well it's a construction worker modern day heroin it's no joke it's strong opiate isn't it

it's terrifying it's very terrifying that it's so readily available that doctors will prescribe it so easily and that they're trusting you to have control they're giving you all these pills all at once it's not like you go to the doctor and every day he dispenses you a new one you know he says listen i'll give you you want to get on oxycontin i will give it to you but you got to come to me i'll give you one no he's a whole bottle of 90 fucking pills if you want to get on OxyContin? I will give it to you, but you've got to come to me. I'll give you one. No. Here's a whole bottle of 90 fucking pills. If you want to take four at a time, you can take four at a time. No one's going to stop you. So it's weird that we're...

We don't have that in London. We don't have that readily accessible opiate prescriptions. We have an incredibly hypocritical society, especially in Florida. Florida, they've done documentaries on it that show Vanguard had the Oxycontin Express. It was a show dedicated just to Oxycontin where they showed that Florida, they have these ridiculous laws where you...

I think they're trying to change that now, probably because of Vanguard, probably because of that Oxycontin Express show. But they have these things called pain management centers. So say you come in and you say, hey, I hurt my back and really it's fucking painful. I can't even sleep. And they go, okay, well, I'm going to write you a prescription for pain pills. And then you take it and you shut that door and you open the next door in the same building.

They're connected. And that's the pharmacy. And they have your pain pills. And it's all they have. How does that continue to exist? Because there's corruption. And they have your pain pills. And it's all they have. How does that continue to exist?

Because there's corruption. And by the way, Florida is also the state that has recently come under fire for hiring police officers to pretend to be high school students to get kids to sell them pot. Okay. They hired a 25-year-old woman who was hot. She was attractive to make friends with a 17-year-old boy who was an honor roll student. This kid tested negative, by the way. Didn't have any pot in his system. Didn't do drugs.

Didn't have a record. Smart kid. Just a kid. Yeah, just a kid. And she made friends with him and then got him to sell her weed. And then they had him arrested. And she coerced him. I mean, she's 25 years old.

She's a woman, okay? And she's dealing with a boy. And she's attractive. First of all all that's completely unfair the attractive woman have a massive amount of power especially over 72 especially an attractive attractive 25 year old woman i mean that's a real woman and he smells that when a boy would smell that and the affection for that woman would be like super special so you know what's funny is sickness i don't know about you but when i was like younger like my fantasy was an older woman then the older

you get it kind of switches around what do you think didn't you get it that oh as you get older your fantasy's a younger woman so that's room for a loop he was like no i just didn't know if you were done i thought you were gonna keep going i don't know sometimes yeah yeah i know what you mean yeah it's that's a weird thing but some dudes know there's like the whole MILF market and porn dudes are into like this really dirty looking 40 year olds Just fucking savage just cock monsters four-year-old fucking with mascara of sweat new all that A lot of those videos dudes are into that now. It's women who just want to get Gorilla fucked older women who just want to get gorilla fucked. Older women who just, they know what they want.

That's like a whole market. Dirty milfs. You know what's a pretty freaky market as well? I watched this movie called Samsara recently, the sequel to Baraka. And, you know, it's a bunch of long shots with no dialogue. And they showed this, it was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen, the sexed olfactory. And then they juxtaposed that shot with one of those strip clubs

slash brothels in Thailand to make a point and it showed you just how similar the whole thing is the sex industry I mean selling sex dolls and selling human beings is pretty much the same thing in that case that's fascinating

are you guys moving to West? No, we're staying here too. You always talk about what you want to do with Esquad and with the podcast. I think you said recently you feel a responsibility to take this to another level and stuff.

I was wondering what you meant by that. Well, the only thing we're doing differently is one, I have a new studio that I'm opening up that's closer to where I live. Okay. And it's a completely independent thing. It's not connected to a comedy club, and it's got a lot of space. So the idea is that we can have it set up the way I would like to have it set up, where, you know, have nice cameras and monitors on the wall.

But you're not getting rid of Redman, right? No. I've had this motherfucker with me for 10 years i'm not going anywhere wouldn't work without it he's brian's one of my best friends i mean he's not just uh he's a weird motherfucker but he's you don't you don't get some weird dude who's into hitler cats that's just that's it's hard to find it's hard to find he's it's a he's an important element so it's gonna be a place where like people important element. So is it going to be a place where people hang out? Or is it just going to be a studio?

Oh, Brian's going to be with me this weekend, by the way. We're going to be in Phoenix at Stand Up Live. And it's going to be fucking crazy, folks. Joey Diaz is there. He won't be there on Sunday. But he's there Friday and Saturday. And Ari Shaffir is going to be there on Friday. Brendan Walsh is going to be there on Saturday.

Brian's going to be there the whole week. We're going to have a fucking blast. We haven't been to Phoenix. It's been a couple of years. That's one of my favorite places to go. That and Texas. It's a cool town. Did you hear they bought the other club?

Yeah, they bought the Tempe Improv too. Good for them. You still get nervous when you go on stage, Sean. No, I get excited. Really? Yeah, not nervous. I'm looking forward to doing it. It's important, so I get excited.

I wouldn't say nervous because that implies fear. It's not a fear thing. It's important, so I get excited. I wouldn't say nervous because that implies fear. It's not a fear thing. It's an excitement. You have to be heightened. You can't go up nonchalantly. People want to be entertained. They want to feel the intensity of the performance. They want to feel the focus.

They want to be entertained, so you have to be up for it. So it's an excited thing. If I didn't do my job, i would feel fucking nervous like if i haven't been writing and i don't know what to say and you know there's there's there's a weird fear that comes with uh trying new shit and fucking around with new bits especially if you're not convinced like sometimes i'll have a bit and uh i'll start out with it and I'm like, man, this bit might fucking suck. This bit might suck. This might have been just one of those stoned ramblings.

And then I'll do it on stage and I'll find a path and all of a sudden it becomes a monster. It's like on stage it will become alive. And you have to take that chance sometimes. There's two aspects to writing. One aspect is the physical act of sitting in front of a keyboard, writing in by myself there's that for sure that's a very important aspect of it but the other aspect of it is telling the story in front of people telling the bit in front of people because then the motherfucker just comes alive then then i know like i was gonna say it a certain way but in the moment i go no no i don't that part. I need to edit that part out and just get right to this part. Boom, boom.

And it's a matter of editing on stage. It's one of the few art forms that you must have an audience to create. You have to. I can't create. I can start the process on my own, but I can't create the audience without it. Any audience will do? Well, I mean, hopefully a good one. But I can't create

the stand-up i can't it can't become its full form without the crowd it's impossible i use their energy it's part of the equation yeah it's a part of the the reaction is part of it the feel i get from them the intangibles like as i'm saying it the where i know the timing lies and it's it's so it would be impossible to describe. It's such a specialized skill. It's a weird skill. See, because it's not what everybody thinks it is, man. It's not just you're saying things

and people are considering what you're saying and they're laughing. There's a little bit of that, but there's also some weird fucking connection, some hypnosis thing that's going on. Between the audience and you. Yeah, and as an audience member, I feel it as well.

Like when I watch someone who I think is really hilarious, like when I saw Stanhope recently or when I saw Joey Diaz the other day, like when someone is really killing and you're locked into their bit, there's this weird sort of connection. And as a performer, you feel that.

And when you're coming up with new shit, it's like you feel where it goes, and you also feel when you're faking it, and you feel when it's forced. You feel like all these... And you know what they feel. You know what the audience feels. It's like you're conducting this...

So it's pure. It's really a pure art form. It's a fucking weird art form. It's really hard. I took a comedy course, and I did five minutes in London. So it was trippy. I mean, I know a lot of people hate on comedy courses.

I know Marin hates on comedy courses. He shouldn't. No one should because it gets people in the door. And it gets them out of their shell, right? Yeah, if you don't know anything about stand-up, if you're not a stand-up comedian, why not take a course to force yourself on stage? The real problem with courses is a lot of them are run by losers.

That's the problem. But do you need a funny guy to teach you or do you need the guy really to get you on stage and then so you can learn yourself you're not gonna get real comedy advice from somebody who sucks yeah i don't think it's okay they can't do it though right yeah there was a bunch of people that wrote books on comedy and they were like you know i remember as a young professional when i just started getting paid to do gigs, people would just laugh at these books about how horrible the comic who actually wrote the book was. But what a book does do, even though I agree with that in certain ways, it does get you interested in the conversation.

You might go to the bookstore and say, how to be a stand-up comic. Man, I need to fucking find a book on how to be a comic. And then that book might be step one. Taking a class might be step two. Ten years from now, you might be Marc Maron. You might be a Marc Maron. You might be a real professional comedian. It's just a matter of taking those steps.

And so the good thing that a comedy class does is it allows you to fuck around and get on stage and see if this is something you're actually interested in and just think about the process of it. And by the way, when you're in a bad comedy class listening to idiots tell you how to do, you might be like, this guy's an idiot. And that might help your comedy. That might help you understand that there's a lot of people out there that do it terrible.

Don't do what this guy's doing. Don't hack it up up there. Don't make it so obvious. Don't insult me as a person who's watching. You might feel insulted and that actually might benefit you in an educational sort of a way just got up and sucked every week in front of these people and and we all bonded at the end goes like these 12 strangers and it's like if you can't make 12 random people in London laugh then most likely you're

not gonna make a comedy audience yeah and we just got up there which is oh by the way tomorrow night we have a show here We have a show here at the Ice House. Joey Diaz and I were on the phone today. He's like, what are we doing tomorrow, dog? And I go, what do you want to do? He's like, we got to do a fucking show. We got to do a fucking show. We can't come in cold to Phoenix.

He's like, we're not coming in cold to Phoenix, dog. We got to give these motherfuckers at the Ice House a show. So I said, all right, all right, we're going to do a show. Settle down. Is it like breathing for you guys? You guys got to be on stage weekly. Well, Joey is a guy who, no matter what, Joey's always doing three, four sets a week.

He's always hopping around, doing it. He loves it. It's one of the reasons why he's so good, so comfortable and natural up there. And it's just also what he loves. He's a real stand-up. He's a black belt in stand-up comedy he loves it he loves it it's the same thing so for him it's like he knows that we're gonna have these

huge crowds phoenix the club is like 600 seats so it's it's and it's almost sold out so it's gonna be nuts two shows friday two shows saturday and one show on sunday so joey's just fucking ramping up right now he's fucking shadowboxing in his house. We invited him on London Real, but then he told us he doesn't have a passport. Can't go to London. Damn. Yeah, that sucks. That's too bad,

because that would be awesome to have him on. Yeah, you guys could experience the love. Can you tell as someone who's like, you're like a black belt in some comedy as well, so can you tell when you meet a new colleague or peer, can you tell if they're a natural or if they're someone who had average talent and really polished it to a high degree?

You can tell if they're a douchebag. And if they're a douchebag, they're probably not going to be that good. There's something about them that's going to be fake. They're going to be clunky. And then some people you meet and they're just so open. They're so like, and you're like, whoa, I got to see what this guy does on stage. You know what I mean? Like some people you meet and they're just so open. They're so like, and you're like, whoa, I got to see what this guy does on stage.

You know what I mean? Like some people you meet them and they're just really there and centered and engaging you. And you're like, oh, this is a sharp motherfucker. Like what's going on with this guy? When he's talking to you. Yeah. Okay. You know, and then there's other guys that are like really quiet and then they get on stage and they're a motherfucker.

You know, you never know. People's personalities are strange. There's some people that are completely different on stage than they are off stage it's weird you know and some people they're really fucking funny on stage and then off stage they're just you know kind of quiet reserved you know it's very strange like they get it all out in their on stage uh antics there's there's that too there's a lot of different types of comedy. The most taxing and exhausting is the always on fucking one-liner guy who's always trying to say the next funny thing. It's too much.

But you guys do crack jokes when you guys are hanging out. Yeah, but only the ones that work. Okay. See, you've got to know. It's the same thing we were talking about being a black belt. It's like you've got to know what is actually funny. And you've got to know what is just annoying to listen to. What is just you jerking off into the wind,

and what is actually something that's relevant, like something relevant, something relevant to bring up, something that you're actually contributing to the conversation. You took the turn. One of the things that Brian is really good at, and I want to encourage this, but I have to give him his props, he'll say some shit that I would have never fucking thought up and I would have never said. And he'll interject them in weird spots.

And it's just like, it takes the conversation. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But it takes it to a place that you probably would have never gone on your own. And that's what's fun in having a conversation. gone on your own and that's what's fun in having a conversation what's fun in having a conversation and what's fun in in watching a stand-up comedian is someone who who can take shit to places where you know you might not have gone but they're relevant they're relevant places so it's like you allow them to think for you for a brief moment you know you allow them right and when someone's when they're they're awkward and clunky you know like you can't think for me for a brief moment. You allow that. And when they're awkward and clunky,

you can't think for me, stupid. What are you doing here? You're bullshitting me. So you tune them out? Yeah, it's immediate. So when you say that someone's exhausting because they're always yucking it up, they don't understand how they're being perceived.

There's a disconnect between what they're projecting and what they're imagining they're projecting or how they're being received and how they're imagining they're being received. There's a disconnect there. And that's just like the karate guy who still thinks he's a master and he's got a gut now, but he wants everybody to be terrified of him, and he really does believe somewhere in the back of his head that he can fucking handle multiple attackers.

You know, he's bullshitting. Yeah, that's the scariest thing in life is when you're confronted with when your delusions are shown to you you know what i mean you think you're the mac and then you just get destroyed that's why i told you not to eat that cookie this motherfucker was trying to give you yeah no cookies you don't want to fuck with these edibles man edibles edibles will put you in a bad place unless you're ready for it it's very confronting you know it's like it just confronts you with all the weird shit that you've been pushing to the back of your head. Sounds like ayahuasca a bit.

Well, have you ever seen the information on the difference between consuming marijuana and cannabinoids? Yeah, just to hear you talk about it more. Yeah, cannabinoids change on the first pass through the liver, right? Yeah, the first pass through the liver becomes 11-xy metabolite which is this intense psychedelic drug which is five times more psychoactive than thc so for a portion of marijuana like say what's in a pot brownie just if you smoked it would fucking get you high as shit but if you eat it like it's it's almost uncomfortable it's like so self-examinatory and so intense intensely you know probing to all aspects of your fears and unconscious thoughts that's why you do it on a plane yeah I do it all the time

you know what I was in LA about five years ago and someone gave me a brownie I'd never had one before and um really he picked me up in the morning so this is for you we were on our way to Universal Studios which I'd never been to. So I ate this thing on an empty stomach and I got really paranoid and I chickened out on the Shrek ride, man. I literally, I lost it. I said, I got to get out of here. There were all these mirrors on the walls,

wailing. That's a good quote. Oh, fucking Shrek ride. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt, scared of Shrek rides. That's a new meme now. That's a meme on the Rogan board. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt, scared of Shrek ride that's a new meme now that's a meme on the Rogan board Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

black belt scared of Shrek ride yeah man weed's a motherfucker son that's a tough thing a lot of people say it makes you paranoid and I believe

that a certain amount of paranoia is very important I really think it's not paranoia I think it's just is that me how dare you that ringtone yeah yeah i don't change ringtones bitch i don't want to hear your music either if you're one of those dudes it's got some fucking latest does green

day have a latest song i have a badass ringtone i bet you do you sexy bitch um what was i saying the fuck were you talking i don't know've got to drop some financial science on you. I had a point, though. Dude, you playing your ringtone killed that. That's kind of cool. If you forgot that it certainly wasn't worth talking about, I was talking too much shit, obviously. All right, so am I dropping some science here?

Yeah, sure. Derivative science? Yeah, I've got to drop a little bit. So I know you're always talking about the crazy derivatives and how there's too many of them out there, and it's drop a little bit. Okay. So I know you're always talking about the crazy derivatives and how there's too many amount there and it's betting on like fake stuff. Well, what I talk about is that I really am a fucking idiot. I don't really understand it. So if I'm saying it, I'm just repeating some shit I heard online.

Fair enough. So I'll just like real break it down. Like the oldest form of derivative is like, it's like what the Egyptians used to do when they used to like grow some cotton and like they'd know that they'd like sell it for a future price and if they got a certain price they would plant the crops and if they didn't then they wouldn't so that was like the oldest form and then it kind of got crazy with this credit derivatives and stuff and it's more just like technology is the way i look at it like an ipad you could say is bad if you like load porn on it and give it to an eight-year-old. But in theory, it's not bad stuff. The problem is when it gets a little unregulated and crazy.

Well, I see your point, and I think that what you're saying is probably correct. But I think that if you want to have a fair society and a society that makes sense, I don't think you can have things. When it comes to money and finances, I don't think you can have things, when it comes to money and finances, I don't think you can have things that can be manipulated in any way, shape, or form, or things that are based at all on confidence or perceptions of how something is doing.

So when I look at the stock, Apple's down. You know, the iPhone has not been perceived as the fucking hit that we thought it was. Apple stock is down. What are you even saying? What the fuck are you even saying? What kind of crazy world do we live in where there's people, the regular people who are gambling for and against a company falling apart are doing well, and that's a part of our society, and

that's a part of our economy? That's crazy. But every time you buy something, you're kind of gambling. When you buy your house and wherever you live, you actually are thinking it'll probably be a good investment as opposed to if you bought a house in Tijuana, then it maybe wouldn't. So every decision you make with your money is kind of a bet. Sure, if I was saying that you should never gamble, that would make sense. But that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is you can't gamble on shit that you're not even a part of and that can't be a giant part of the economy. of and that can't be a giant part of the economy you like when you when you're buying stock and selling stock and trading stock and things are going up and down the dow is down seven points

today what the fuck are you even talking about you've got a shit system if the dow is down that if it's that fluctuating up and down based on some stupid fucking bill that gets passed or some lack of power iran's been rattling their sabers. The dollar's down. You know, that's a nonsense system. But humans are all about confidence, right? Sure, but our economy shouldn't be based on such a weird, you know, ethereal sort of a feeling.

Like the idea that, you know, whether or not people believe that Apple's on the ride. What about BlackBerry? Where the fuck are BlackBerry now? They were on top of the world at one point in time so it just seems like nonsense or it seems like one piece of gold should equal one donkey okay go back to the old school until we figure out how to have uh i mean what was the guy's name the young jock fresco yeah he talks about resource-based economies that's the only thing that makes sense. Economies based on numbers and derivatives and finances and stocks and bonds. What are you even saying?

I just don't know how we're going to get there without having a complete bloodbath. How are we going to get to a better version of government without a complete bloodbath? You always say the internet, and that's the only option we have right now, right? I think the internet is eventually going to be the governing of the world, the governing of the world. It's going to lead to the governing of the world through the people. I think it's only inevitable as long as people continue to have more and more access to information and more and more power to distribute that information like we do right now. And that's one of the scariest things about these tightening up bills when the bill,

you know, when they're trying to stop the passing these cyber terrorism bills and they sweeping legislation that allows the government to come in and shut down websites and and deem you know enemies of the state certain wet like WikiLeaks is an enemy of the state now they know Julian Assange Julian Assange is deemed an enemy of the state they've decided he's as bad as Al Qaeda he's meanwhile all he's done is tell the truth. All he's done is distribute information that the government didn't want distributed so they've decided that this guy is a fucking terrorist.

That's scary. I think it's nonsense. As I get older, I think it's more and more nonsense. It's a silly system. If Gary Johnson can't debate, what you've got is a rigged system. You've got a giant, crazy, rigged, fake system. If I pretend that you got a giant crazy rigged fake system and if I

pretend that I'm a part of this stupid electoral college and hop on board it's nonsense every aspect of it is nuts lobbyists are nuts the ability to donate, corporations ability to donate limitless amounts of money, that's nuts

that's just this term, the latest super PACs and all that that's nuts, it's weird watching term, the latest super PACs and all that. That's nuts. It's weird watching it from London. It's really weird. It seems like a big joke with Romney and Obama. It is a big joke. It seems like a big dog and pony show. My sister liked Mitt Romney on Facebook last night, Joe.

Good for her. She seems like a nice guy. I like him too. Doesn't mean I would vote for him. And even if you vote for him, I think it's been pretty obvious with Obama that it's not that easy um and what obama's done everybody thought that obama was going to be this great savior of this country and it's gonna you know i mean i remember this woman who was uh

like all happy when he won now i know that my mortgage is going to be paid and now i know that i was listening to her say this was like whoa you want to talk about some high expectations for someone who's going to come in and you think he's going to fix this incredibly fucking entangled corrupt system? Yeah. Not only did he not fix it, but he let some shit get passed that I would have never thought that the National Defense Authorization Act, which allows the military to break up civil

dissent, allows the military to be used on U.S. civilians. It allows people to be held without authorization. It allows to be without, rather, representation, without any recourse. You can't have a trial. They can just hold you indefinitely as long as they want. It's terrifying, man. It's terrifying.

It's terrifying that they would ask for that. Here's why. It's not like things have gone horribly bad in this country. It's not like there's riots in the streets every day and people are assassinating government leaders and there's bombs blowing up in buildings everywhere. And we have resorted to some sort of arcane law that we're going to have to put into place

until we can calm things down. We've got to control. No, it's not that. Go walk down the street. Pasadena is beautiful out here, man. Get on the highway. There's a few too many cars. People are civil.

You've got hours and hours of bumper-to-bumper traffic And the worst thing is somebody might blow the horn or stick a finger out at somebody. No one's cutting people's heads off with swords. It's not necessary to pass these crazy Orwellian laws. But what it makes me think is that they can see the writing on the wall. And they know that this form of running governments, it's no longer valid. It doesn't work. It's ridiculous. It doesn't work. It's ridiculous. We understand your influence. We understand why you're making these decisions.

We see where the money comes from now. It's all readily available. It's not like we're living in 1930 and I have to read the Hearst newspapers to find out what the information is going to be about this upcoming election. You can find out anything about anybody. It's really different now. And it's not saying that we don't need a government. We certainly need a government.

It's not saying we shouldn't have corporations. Of course we should have corporations. There's a lot of corporations that I think are great. I think Apple's great. I think Porsche's great. I like their products. I think, you know what I mean? There's nothing wrong with that.

It's just we can't allow money to supersede humanity, and that's what they've done. They've allowed the idea of doing their stockholders justice and making as much money as possible. They've allowed that to supersede humanity. And when you have businesses where their entire function is to supersede humanity, you can see that and you can measure that. We need to stop that. That needs to beede humanity. You can see that, and you can measure that. We need to stop that. That needs to be closed down. They've got to stop it for themselves because they're all having fucking horrible karma from that.

Yeah, that's got to be bad karma. It's terrible, man. Have you thought about having politicians on the show? We've had a few. We've had a young kid, David Seaman. He's coming back again in a couple of weeks. Would politicians want to come on your show? Why would they want to?

Maybe Gary Johnson would. But he's legit. I spoke to Ron Paul. I had a chance to speak to him on your show? Why would they want to? Maybe Gary Johnson would. But he's legit. I spoke to Ron Paul. I had a chance to speak to him on The Tonight Show. I never asked him to come on the podcast because I thought it would be ridiculous. Seaman's coming on you again? Yeah, he's coming on again. What, you have a problem with that?

No, I said Seaman's coming on you again. Oh, how dare you. See? That's good, though. There you go. That's what you're talking about. Like the needle off the record it's my man child barking out in the distance but you've created you so this is our

one year anniversary pretty much since we started this show yeah and i mean obviously it was it was pretty much after watching your show i mean the split screen was pretty much an ode when you used to shoot it i think at your house right yeah well we started doing it because of uh anthony kumia really he was the the big push i mean when uh we went to um uh the op and anthony show and anthony has a show called live from the compound okay and he was the first he actually has a fucking sick setup he has a green screen and a broadcast desk and really high-end microphones and him and his buddies would get drunk and do a show and we were like me and brian were like that looks fun was it video as well yeah yeah yeah so we started doing it almost it'll be three years for us in december we started doing it uh on just on a u-stream on on a laptop yeah you guys were on

sofas right yeah we're in my house just chilling in my house we were bored well you infected us over in london you know well you know like i said we were infected first yeah we've come up with this idea called global real and we want to we want to facilitate the setting up of like similar things learning real in every major city in the world or anybody who wants to just do a podcast and uh we talked to some guys actually in victoria british columbia there's a guy over there eric faust and we talked to him recently on skype and he's like i want to do a podcast i'm like just do it you know if you want some help let's do it and he's like I want to call it Victoria Reel with your permission. And I was like, dude, we don't know the name.

As long as it's not another London Reel, you're good, right? We don't have to bust those dudes up, probably. There can't be enough podcasts, right? No, I don't think that. Yeah, there's a lot of people that feel like the other people that are doing podcasts are somehow or another the competition. I don't feel that at all. I never have. I feel like there's 300 million fucking human beings

just in this country and hundreds of millions worldwide that also listen to anything English. I think there's a huge audience for everybody and I don't think that it has to be us against them. I'm inspired by other comedians just like I'm inspired by other podcasts. us against them.

I'm inspired by other comedians, just like I'm inspired by other podcasts. But I'm a big believer in the way to be successful and the way to feel good is to help other people, to help other people do things. That's abundance mentality, though. Yeah. That's one of the first signs of an enlightened human being is he knows there's enough for everyone.

He doesn't have to claw and scrape and say, this is mine. Once you start sending that energy out into the universe, your experience becomes very, very different. I think my stand-up comedy, all of it is benefited from that. My life is benefited from it.

I think you have to be a generous person. I'll regularly go to a coffee shop and leave a $100 tip. I think you've got to do that. I leave little happiness bombs. I always joke about it. coffee shop and leave like a hundred dollar tip i just i think you got to do that i think you do i leave like a little happiness bombs like i always joke a joke about it like my friend duncan and i were we ate at this barbecue place and uh you know i tipped the waiter 100 bucks and he didn't even know it but we laughed thanks bye and i get out of there like i love the fact that dude's gonna

open up the thing and see 100 but motherfucker just Motherfucker just gave me a hundred bucks. And you're gone. Yeah. And I'm gone. So it's a little happiness bomb, you know, it's a, and I think that that sort of a mentality, I've also put that to stand up, you know, and all of us, we do that.

Ari does that. Duncan does that. Brian does that. Joey Diaz does that. You know, we're the first guys to tell you about someone that we think is great and someone that we love something you should check out. And, uh, it's aided all of us. what you give what you give you get back 10 times right

yeah i think so man i've you know there's a lot of comics who bring guys on the road with them that are terrible so they don't show them up i've always been of the the mindset that i should bring the funniest human beings that are available so that the show is better and it makes me laugh. It's not going to make me less funny. That idea is crazy to me. There's a lot of people that actually want the person who's on in front of them to not be funny because then it makes them look better. I think that's – if you – that's the worst way of thinking ever because that's your – your sense of what is funny or what's funny about you is so delicate that no one else can also be funny but that's crazy like sometimes you're funny but you're only funny if someone before

you sucks that doesn't even make sense it's a whole the wrong it's the same thing it's it's a lack of that abundance mentality and a lack of the real idea that human beings are inexorably connected. That we're connected by energy and that we're connected by intent. And that we're connected by the thoughts that we put out there and the thoughts that we receive from other people. It's not

this woo-woo thing. This is a real exchange of energy. It's real. I've been impressed by the power of a conversation. We get on the air once a week and we have an hour conversation with someone who we think is important. And that's why we put them in the power of a conversation. We get on the air once a week, and we have an hour conversation with someone who we think is important. And that's why we put them in the center of the screen. We want to feature these people to the world,

whether it's Simon Powell with his psilocybin solution or an MMA fighter or somebody. And it's like, check this dude out. But it's had a big effect on me. I mean, I've grown so much as a person this last year. It's probably been the best year of my life. And this is like 10 years in financial markets and making money and doing this. But like this last year, I've changed the most.

I drank ayahuasca two years ago. I would have been the dude that glazes over when you talk about psychedelics. I'm like, oh, you're one of those fucks. Yeah. No. And now I'm doing it. And like, what made you what made you have an altering of that idea? You know, I walked away from that job because I don't know.

I think a lot of times as young males, we're sold this kind of capitalist promise where you go to school, you make the money, you get the girl, you have the car, and you're happy. And a lot of our viewers, I think, are the same way. They're like these guys in their mid-20s that think they're playing the game, and they're like, okay, then where are all my rewards?

And they're like, I'm not happy with this anymore. And I think I got there. I was doing this day-in, day, then where are all my rewards? And they're like, I'm not happy with this anymore. And I think I got there. I was doing this day in, day out job and it was quote unquote successful. And I had all the trappings and then I was just like, I wasn't happy. So I just walked away from it, scared as hell with nothing to do. Beautiful. That's a beautiful story. For six months, I was like literally not doing much.

And Nick and I would meet in the West End and walk around London for like three hours. And I was listening to your podcast and I, we walk and we talk about philosophy and women and finance and perspectives. And at the end I'd be like, Nick, that would have made a fucking good podcast if we had just recorded it, you know? And then Nick's like,

let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. And then, um, and then like I arrived at Brian's house, I thought it was just going to be us like talking into, um,

garage band. Brian set up this huge studio and there's a microphone in my face. That's awesome. Yeah, it was cool. And we got the cameras. I thought the video was super important because I've listened to the audio podcast before, but you need to see guys' faces. And I always say for our guests, people need to see at least the first five minutes

because they need to see if they're a cunt or not, or if they're a douche. And you can tell after five minutes of looking at someone, I think you can say i like this guy's vibe and then you can listen if you want you can tell from listening to you know i was listening to the opie and anthony show and there was a guy on i was like man this guy sounds like a cunt to me like they're being nice to the guy but i'm like this guy sounds like a douchebag so i asked a friend who knew him he goes oh he's a piece of shit i go oh thank you i go because i was like this guy is playing these guys i was like there's something about this guy that is so disingenuous and as soon as i asked my friend i knew it was like oh he's a piece of shit i fucking hate that guy i was like thank you

just by listening yeah just by listening man but i i agree with you about the video but the reality is the majority of our listeners are audio only. More than 70%, I think. Way more than that. Is it really? Probably like 90%. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. We have a big, but I'd say it was more like 60%, I'd say. Well, between Stitcher, which is, are you guys on Stitcher?

Yeah, we're on Stitcher. Love Stitcher. It's nice, isn't it? It's cool. I really like that, yeah. It's a cool service. Don't tell Bill Burr. Stitcher is one great way that we're distributed through smartphones, but now there's the iPhone app on the new iPhones.

They have a podcast app. And we have our own podcast app. You can find the Joe Rogan Experience podcast app. It's free. But the audio version is where people listen to it on the train or in their car or at the gym or whatever. I think that's much more prevalent. Very few assholes are sitting in front of their computer watching.

I usually watch the first few minutes just to take a look at the guests and then I switch to audio. We got gifts, by the way. Might as well drop these guys, these things on you guys. You have gifts for us? Yeah, man. How dare you? I know, huh? Hopefully you brought batteries. That's for you. Oh, man. And that's for you, Red Band.

Oh, no way. Brian, did you say that with a gay accent, you son of a bitch? That's some crazy-ass London Real wrapping paper. You have your own wrapping paper? No, it's actually some posters. I didn't have any wrapping paper at home. We've got to get on it, son. We've got to get wrapping paper.

But it looks kind of cool, right? Death Squad wrapping paper for Christmas? Come on, dude. You've got to put that up for the camera. Come on, Death Squad wrapping paper? I'm telling you. This guy, whoever you were that came with the higher primate tattoo, this guy had the dopest fucking one of my T-shirt designs on his shoulder the shiva one uh he had it done on his shoulder by this wicked tattoo artist

whoever you were you seven fucking son of a bitch that was a badass tattoo dude you've got pride gloves for me dude those were some originals were they used no those uh i went to pride i think it's an 05 in japan and and they've never been used. And then Red Band's got the classic English shirt. I think Pride gloves are actually better than the gloves that the UFC uses in one way, is that the padding goes more over the end of the fingers

and it kind of keeps you curled. I feel like there were less eye pokes in Pride. Do you feel that? Yeah, I don't remember a single eye poke in Pride. Pride was awesome. Fuck, it was awesome. I used to love it. It was such a crazy time. Those fights were nuts, man.

There's no other organization that would have put on Minotauro versus Bob Sapp. That was a great fight. That was craziness, man. Yeah. It was like they were almost superheroes in that ring. If you don't know what we're talking about, Minotauro is this guy who's like the original jiu-jitsu heavyweight. The original guy. The first guy really to come along and start submitting high-end guys from his back.

Nobody did that before Minotauro. And he fought this guy named Bob Sapp. It was literally 370 pounds of all muscle. He was fucking ridiculous. And it was a crazy fight where Bob Sapp pile-drived Minotaur at one point in time. Minotaur was more than 100 pounds lighter than him. More than 100. I think he was probably 150 pounds lighter than him.

It was craziness. And he slapped the armbar on the knee. Slapped an armbar at the end and caught him in an armbar. Spoiler alert. Sorry. And Bob Sapp probably couldn't extend his arm more than that. Oh, it was ridiculous. Bob Sapp was so big, he didn't look real he made so much money in Japan

endorsing products and stuff he made millions of yeah but then the market kind of fell apart that from what I understand we're gonna get ensign anyway on the podcast yeah I'm ensigns in America love him yeah he's great he went into Fukushima and yeah that was one Dude, that guy is the real deal. And he, you know, he was there during the whole like the height of Pride and he was also there

when it dropped off. So he'd probably be the one that could tell you what the fuck really happened. When he comes on the podcast, maybe we'll get it from him. And James Thompson, he was involved in Pride too. He's British, right? Yeah, Colossus. He's on my message board. And James Thompson, he was involved in Pride, too. He's British, right? Yeah, Colossus. Yeah, he's on my message board now. And he writes a lot of blogs. He's actually a very good writer.

Okay. Really interesting cat, you know, because he's this big, scary-looking motherfucker. But he's actually a really well-thought-out, well-spoken guy. Real fascinating character. He's a London Real fan. He sent us a message the other day, actually. That was him. That was him, right?

He sent me a message to my Facebook, and I was like, can't be the same James Thompson. Yeah, he's a great guy, man. That's cool. Sorry, James, I'm going to get back to you. Like I said, he's on my message board all the time. He's a great guy. A lot of MMA guys are cool dudes. Yeah.

I think it's along the same lines that we talked about with jiu-jitsu. The only difference with MMA, of course, is that you have to consider. Thank you very much for these gloves, by the way. You're welcome. Thank you, man. You have to consider with MMA the potential for long-term damage to your mind. You just have to consider that.

These guys always have that hanging over their head. I think that's one of the reasons why you really can't enjoy it like you can enjoy Jiu-Jitsu. Jiu-Jitsu, even when you tap somebody, you don't feel bad because you get tapped too everybody taps you it's just part of the whole game it's like he needs to learn that you know

you can't put your arm there if the guy's uh got your back and he's got the you know he needs to learn what he did wrong in that position because you it's not like if you got hodger in that position you could have tapped him or you know you know what i mean yeah it's like it's a lesson for everybody so you don't even feel bad about delivering the lesson because if you're trying to get good at jujitsu ultimately you should welcome getting tapped because it exposes you your your true weaknesses otherwise you're really not going to know and the only way to get better is to see those weaknesses shore up those holes and move forward so someone who taps you is actually helping you and that's that aspect doesn't exist in kickboxing.

Kickboxing, man, you only have a certain rat-a-tat-tat that you can take to your head. You only have a certain number, man. And when you deliver, especially when you deliver on a sparring partner, there's part of you that knows that you just did some damage. When you uncork a right hand on someone, you see their eyes roll back and their knees buckle, you know you just fucked that guy's consciousness up. Are guys training smarter smarter these days i know mac denzik was here talking about that do you think a lot of fighters have had that new philosophy of i'm going to train smarter not harder i think some of them have certainly um but some of them don't have access to the the most technical trainers you

know there's some trainers like there's this the matt humes of the world who if you watch their fighters their there's their fighters are so obviously well-trained, very obviously technical. Winkle John's fighters are also very similar. They're super obviously well-technically trained. You watch Cowboy Cerrone move. You watch what John Jones is learning. These guys are learning very good technique. And the only way to truly do that is to be taught by someone who

is at the front of the game someone who really knows what the fuck is up someone who has a super technical stand-up game and knows how to to move a fighter through progression challenge them and test them and but but not have them get mauled not have them get beat up, and figure out a way to balance all that out. Because it takes one bad punch, and you'll never be the same fighter again. Yeah, I've seen guys that, especially kicks, I've seen guys that got kicked in the head and were never the same, and that is 100% real. Especially, like, there's certain kicks, like wheel kicks,

and things along those lines where there's an insane amount of power. That's when the heel lands on your head, right? Edson Barbosa versus Terry Adam fight where Edson Barbosa knocked Terry Adam out with a wheel kick in Brazil. I mean, it was fucking nasty. I mean, the heel connected right to the jaw. The consciousness was gone instantly. He fell down like he was dead. Those kind of knockouts, man.

How many of those you got in your life? I mean, do you have five? Do you have a number, like five, and after that you'll never be the same person? Is it one? Is it two? Is it three? We really don't know because it varies per person. Do you see these guys fade sometimes?

I mean, you're in there week in and week out commentating on these UFCs. Do you ever see that, you know, that Terry Adam guy and you're like, wait a second, he's not moving the same way he used to? No question about it. You could see it in their speech patterns. Some guys, a lot of, you know, look, the Underground is a mixed martial arts forum that I frequent, mixedmartialarts.com. The best, in my opinion, the best mixed martial arts website in the world. Whatever, dude, Sherdog. Shut up, bitch.

One of the things... Have you ever been to Sherdog? Sherdog's good, too. They're good, too. They're old school. It's a great website, too. There's just a few too many cunts on the board. They're just a little better at squashing cuntiness.

Although I hear... I shouldn't say that because I hear Sherdog's gotten a lot better about it. Anyway, my point is they're ruthless because they're hiding behind anonymous screen names, but sometimes they're accurate. And every now and then they'll put up a video and say, does so-and-so seem to have brain damage?

And then you listen to them and you're like, wow, that guy is struggling. There was a video with Paul Williams recently where he was, Paul Williams the boxer who got knocked out by Sergio Martinez with a vicious one-punch knockout. And then he was in a motorcycle accident, which left him paralyzed. And they interviewed him in the motorcycle. And I was listening to his labored speech. And I was like, ooh, that doesn't sound good. That's a horrible man.

Yeah. I met, well, I didn't meet him, but I was right behind Terry Norris when he was talking to a fan once. And I was a huge Terry Norris fan when I was a kid. He was like one of my favorite boxers. And Terry Norris was standing there talking to this dude, and I couldn't believe it was real. I thought he was hammered drunk or something. I thought this cannot be real.

This cannot be how this guy talks now. And so I, like, inched over close and and listened to um their conversation and oh my god it was so sad it was the saddest fucking thing to me because being a big fan of this guy and watching his fight so many times he was you know this really wild dude and he he got knocked out a few times and he was one of those guys that was either it was either he would kill or be killed you know and uh he got knocked out by some badass dudes like Julian Jackson knocked him out. Like fucking scary knockouts. And to see him when he was younger than me at the time and to see him slurring his words like that scared the fucking shit out of me, man.

Just scared the shit out of me. You've seen Meljik Taylor lately? Have you seen that? Horrific. Meljik Taylor was one of the best boxers to ever come out of the Olympics in his early professional days. He was a fucking wizard. He was so fast. And he had one really, really brutal fight with Julio Cesar Chavez.

Never the same again. And Terry Norris knocked him out. A few guys knocked him out, but he's still fighting. And they had an interview with him recently on HBO where they showed him when he was younger talking and then they showed him today and it's horrendous it's it's that is a real reality of combat sports do you think the UFC is safe enough now or do you think in 10 years we're going to start seeing blowback and is there any way the other way around that I mean humans want to see combat sports right well look here's what's safe you got to get out before you have irreparable damage that's what's safe guys have done it to get out before you have irreparable damage. That's what's safe.

Guys have done it. There's guys who have retired and they're fine and healthy. Look, Marvin Hagler is apparently in great health. He was a great boxer, but he never got knocked out. He never got fucked up. Hagler knew after the Sugar Ray Leonard fight, alright, I'm done. This is it.

He never came back. Rocky Marciano did the same thing. Got out before he got really fucked up and was fine in his later years before he died in a plane crash. But you can figure out, but you have to be really smart. And that's hard to do. And it's also, you have to

have something that excites you, like fighting does. Because these guys, it's not like you can fight and then all of a sudden you can't fight anymore. It's, you can fight and you fight just a little less good than you used to and it fucks with your head you're like you know what man i just need to change my training up i need to incorporate some fucking swimming or something you know and you'll try to do that and then you get knocked out again and you're like wow i was winning that first round until i got caught you know and then like jen's pulver is still going sure still going at it because he's still good

enough to stay in the game, but only just, right? Only just. And those knockouts, those all become ticket holes. Holes in your ticket. Chunk, where your ticket gets punched over and over again. And how many you got? Who knows? I mean, Alistair has been stopped a bunch of times.

But you look at him now, he's better than ever. Overeem. Yeah, Overeem's been stopped. But Peter Hertz. Peter Hertz has been stopped a gang of times. Still beat Semilt two years ago in the k1 grand prix so it's like some guys they can get stopped a bunch of times and still be okay and other guys not and i don't the drawer right at the end of the day no one can tell you no one can tell you know some guys like mark hunt can take a fucking ferocious shot you know there's other guys who just can't take that much punishment. They're built differently.

For whatever it's worth, who knows what it is. Some person has a glass jaw. The other guy's got an iron jaw. How much of it is psychological? How much of it is physical? It's hard to tell. It's a combination of both, I'm sure. But it's not a safe sport.

It's as safe as we can make it, but the fighters all realize that there's a certain amount of risk involved you're going to get injured you're going to get broken bones you're going to get torn ligaments you're going to get concussions you're going to have that in mixed martial arts there's no way around that so in that sense it's as safe as we can make it but it's a dangerous sport so they have to think about that and they have to train with that in mind and they have to understand when it's time to not do it anymore yeah you know what really pisses me off is when like someone says oh the ref shouldn't have stopped the fight it's like man always err on the side of caution when it's someone's brain in jeopardy yeah you know what i mean uh i think some guys you gotta let them try to get it like frankie edgar perfect example how do you stop that guy's fights early when you see like that

first round come back was it gray man or two fights in? When you see that first round. Was it Gray Maynard? Two fights in a row. You see that and you go, how could you stop that guy's fight? You've got to look at the individual and his ability to bounce back from punishment. You've got to give him the opportunity to win. And Frankie's proven time and time again that he can do that. So in that sense, the referee has to be an expert in fighters' particular styles and their ability to endure punishment. It's not the best way to compete.

But with a guy like Frankie Edgar, it's also one of his weapons. One of his weapons is that he's in incredible shape and that he recovers quickly. And, you know, he can wear a guy out because of that. He can drag a guy into some crazy fucking firefight where you know he's got a thousand bullets and the other guy might only have 400 so you know he might think oh i got 400 bullets this guy's fucking dead meanwhile he could keep going man and like you know the fourth round with gray maynard when he knocked him out it's like god damn he's still going he's still going at the same clip he was going in the first round and gray couldn't manage that at that point in his career.

What's it like behind the scenes at the UFC? I mean, what would we be surprised at something you just notice all the time when you're calling those fights at the UFC? I don't know, man. You know, it's a weird job. It's a weird job even for me. It's hard to believe that it is my job. Like, whenever I do it, it's hard to believe.

I put on the headphones, and they talk to me in the booth. I like what's up what's up what's up you ready to do this let's do this goldie and i touch knuckles and the first fight we're gonna start in five four the music plays and the lights go on you're like wow i guess this is my job it's hard to imagine they're paying you to do that it doesn't even seem real doesn't doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem that I'm the one who represents the techniques, and I'm the one who explains to people what to look for and what's going on. It's very strange. So even while I'm doing it, I mean, I'm doing it to the best of my abilities, the best of my knowledge.

It's still bizarre as fuck. I have a hard time believing it's really happening while I'm doing it. I always tell people, we're like you and Goldberg. Like, I'm the Goldberg because I've got a bunch of questions I've got to ask Hancock, for example. And then Nick's kind of like the play-by-play flow. He's just like, if he's feeling something, he just asks that question. And then I'm like, okay, I've got to get through these things. I've got to say the fighter does this, the fighter does this.

Next week on Fox, you can watch this show. Yeah, that's Goldberg's move. It's a difficult job. He doesn't get nearly as much credit as he deserves. He's really good's move yeah it's it's a difficult job he doesn't get nearly as much credit as he deserves he's really good at that he's really smooth people just get upset that he's not a martial artist but the bottom line is you really have to be an actual martial artist to do martial arts commentary there is no way around it you can't fake it you can't not know how to take someone's back and explain how he's got to take his back.

You can't – if you see someone who's doing something, I'll see someone occasionally. I'm like, you can't let go of that underhook. I'm like, if this guy lets go of that underhook, this motherfucker is going to take his back, especially a guy like Hanayaya or someone who's like a super high-level guy. Like Hanayaya, one of his recent fights, he got side control on this guy. And as soon as he reached back, I'm like, oh, he like always going north-south choke and I called it like several steps ahead But with a guy like honey, you can see it like I know what he's gonna do You can't let him wrap his arm around your neck

You let him reach back with that left arm You might as well just go to sleep just take a nap because he's gonna choke you that's step one of a three step process You're not gonna be able to stop because once he got step one of a three-step process, you're not going to be able to stop. Because once he got step one, his base is set, and you're done. And you've got to know that. There's no way you can know that without doing that. If you listen to the early commentary on the early UFCs, it's hysterical, because these guys were like boxing commentators and stuff like that. They just had no idea, right?

You've got to – the hardest part to me is the ground game, because there's so much – I mean, there's a lot of variables in stand-up for sure. It's not that stand-up is easy, but there's infinite variables on the ground, and you have to understand the various different styles of attacking different positions. Like everybody's got – like some guys, they'll go side control on a guy and face towards the feet. And they'll be like, guys, we'll try to get a guy in a twister or try to get someone's back. And then there's other guys that go judo style and they're going to look for the mounted crucifix.

They're going to look to ground and pound or they're going to look for a scarf hold or some kind of like – Mark Coleman did that to Dan Severn. It was like one of the first submissions in the UFC heavyweight division when he won the title. You have to see all those. You have to understand those. You have to have been strangled. You have to get somebody with it. You have to fight it off.

If you don't, you're not going to be able to explain to people what this guy's doing wrong or what he needs to do. And that's what makes it more exciting. When a guy's doing, like Jimmy Smith is really good at it from Bellator. With Jimmy Smith, if a guy's got someone's back he's like he's gotta he's gotta defend with his right arm while he's attacking with his left you know he'll he'll explain to people and if you're a person who's uh an amateur or someone who has nothing to do with martial arts you can watch it and follow along oh i see what that guy's doing his right arm's gonna choke that guy oh yeah yeah

and the other guy he's saying he's gotta gotta get his leg free otherwise he's gonna get oh i see yeah he's holding him with his legs and it it adds to the excitement and that's you can't be a sports guy and do that you have to be a martial artist on that note joe what's your favorite submission um chokes with the collar no no no no no i hate that. Do you use the gi? Yeah, I have a black belt under Jean-Jacques and the gi. But I don't fucking use it. I use overhooks and underhooks. I believe that if your game is gi-oriented, the good thing about the gi is defense. The good thing about the gi is you must be technical in your defense.

You have to be technical in your attacks. Because a guy gets a hold of your collar, a guy gets a hold of your collar a guy gets a hold of your sleeve there's a lot of shit they could do to you we if you're slippery and with no gi you could just muscle out of it but you have to use technique and you have to do it the right way with a gi so in that way the gi is good you're like a das and bravo yeah okay but i think that um or rear nakeds and guillotines but i think that the beautiful thing about a gi is if you're fighting a guy who's got a coat on. Some guy who's got a leather jacket on,

he's talking shit. All you have to do is grab his collar and he's dead. He just won't know what's happening. All you have to do is get a hand. He won't even know what you're doing. He'll be trying to punch you and just reach into his collar and just... You know what I find interesting?

I don't know if you remember there was that scientist, there was a group of islands that had different monkey tribes on and what was happening is when one monkey on one island learned how to pick a certain banana or open a certain fruit, then all the other monkeys learned it.

And it's a similar thing with jiu-jitsu. Suddenly you'll just see this new choke in the game that you've never seen before and then in three months, everyone knows it. It's such an interesting thing. Yeah, Darce's came along that way you know yeah that's what made me think of it yeah so that front kick that anderson silver front kick yeah everybody well that was so dramatic

that was something that everybody saw but what i think what you're saying is that it's just like spreads through schools because people just figure it out at the same time because they watch youtube videos and yeah it's like a meme yeah sometimes well there's also one technique like there'll be like a new technique that it like one of them was attacking from the half guard one of the things that opened up the darts was that a lot of people were attacking from the half guard and they were going with the double underhooks attack and when they were going with a double underhooks attack a lot of guys were sneaking their arms in and then all of a sudden it became anaconda chokes, darts chokes. It became that's what people were going for. It's a whole new subset of yacht basically.

Yeah, and it was basically to deal with underhooks. So if you're on the side of a guy, like maybe in half guard, and a guy has a really strong underhook, you know that if you get your arm under his underhook and pass his neck and connect your arms together, now he's in a bit of trouble you just put yourself in a dangerous situation like you're trying to be very offensive but in allowing me to whizzer your underhook and pass by your neck now you've allowed me to control your neck now i've got a position on you and now especially if you go japanese neck tie which is one of the new moves that a lot of guys are doing now and said i've never even heard

of that oh i gotta show it to you it It's shit. It's way more high percentage than a D'Arce. Let me ask you a question, Joe. Because you control the guy's head I want to ask you a question about London and what you think of London. I think he was going first.

Yeah, I'm sorry. Go ahead. I always cut him off on the show. I'm always like, no. It's hard to do that, right? People think you're rude to cut people off, but you're not meaning to. It's just like you have a thought, and if you don't say it, sometimes it escapes, and

it gets away from you, because the conversation derivatives. Well, I have two, dude. I'm sorry. I got too. I'll never forgive myself. So the first one is, do you think if you got in a time machine and traveled 100 years into the future, and then walked into a jiu-jitsu academy, do you think you'd still be able to hang? I'd get I get killed do you think so

yeah I'm pretty sure my interesting yeah unless unless they were fucking terrible I'd fuck up some white belts but I think black belts well black belts the really good black belts I'm not you know I'm a weak black belt like objectively like I'm strong don't get me wrong I I have strong jiu-jitsu. But as far as like high-end black belt guys, I used to get tapped. You know, it's just reality. You know, I'm not a world champion. I don't have the time to put into that.

In order, I have much more potential. I mean, if I really had the time to train five days a week and get a strength and conditioning, I think I could jump my game up big. I think my mind is way more ahead of my body. It's just I don't have the time to do it. I don't have the time to put in the numbers between having a family, doing stand-up, doing a podcast, and traveling for the UFC.

It's hard. I train as much as I can, and when I train, I give 100%. Are you still writing a book? Yeah. Do you feel like you need to get a book out of you? No. I would like to do it.

I have a lot of shit already written, and I will eventually put it out. But right now, I'm concentrating on my new studio and my stand-up special, which is going to be out at the end of the month, the end of October. Is that already in the can? Yeah, it's already in the can. It's just a matter of the website getting built, which takes a lot longer than you think to have a nice website made. So that's being made, and then just to get the website getting built, which is, it takes a lot longer than you think to have a nice website made. So that's being made.

And then just to get the infrastructure in place, distribute it. I found out somewhere along the line that when I do too many things at the same time, I don't have any fun. And everything suffers. Everything suffers. Family and everything. Yeah. Well, I won't let that suffer.

So the things that suffer are other aspects of my career. So I limit the amount of shit that I do. So once this standup special is out and I can cannot think about that, boom, then I'm diving full into writing, writing the book. Because I already have to balance it out with writing stand-up, which right now is more important because my special is about to drop. And I have a whole new hour that I've basically put together between the time I did the special and now. What do you want from your stand-up, like years from now? Do you want to see bigger audiences? Do you ever have goals like that? No, no. I'm super happy with the way. If nothing changed at all other than the way it is

right now, if it just maintained, I'd be the happiest person on earth. I have the greatest audiences in the history of the art form. It's the craziest thing ever. I wish you guys could come to see some of these crowds because they're crazy. And it's mostly podcast fans. It's mostly people who don't just resonate with the idea of comedy, but resonate with the idea that there's someone out there that's also confused by all this. And there's someone out there that's being honest about all of it. And those people, I've sort of found a huge amount of them because of this podcast.

And I don't desire anything more than that. It's already, just having all the people come up to me after shows, all the people that tell me they've lost weight, all the people that tell me

they've got their shit together, that they're living their life like they're the hero in their own story. I love that analogy. That's awesome. That's a great way to think of it.

And it should be like the blockbuster moment in the movie every day. You should be doing that. You should be saving the girl. You should be. You love that analogy. That's a great way to think of it. It should be like the blockbuster moment in the movie every day. You should be saving the girl. You can do that. You could literally do what the hero would do. It doesn't mean rescue babies out of burning buildings. It means don't be a cunt. Figure out a way to get your shit together.

Don't be someone who's just slacking off and jerking off while behind you is a mountain of work to do. Get your stuff done. Be someone who you would admire. That's something that I slacking off and jerking off while behind you is a mountain of work to do you know get get get your stuff done do it do it do be someone who you would admire and that's something that i i had to learn on my own slowly over a long period of time but in reiterating that on the podcast just like in teaching jiu-jitsu it's become like very concrete in my head you know i have another very deep and meaningful question i want your input on in fact me and my jiu-jitsu buddies debate about this all the time.

And some of them want your input, which is, what do you think we win in a fight out of a silverback gorilla and a Bengal tiger? Tiger. Tiger would kill that gorilla. Come on, man. Gorilla wouldn't even have a chance. Claws. See, I say gorilla, man.

You know, a gorilla can rip a car tire in half with its bare hands, right? Look at that shit where that tiger's got your back and is choking your neck off it. I refuse to debate this. I don't think the tiger would fuck with the gorilla because it's not going to be easy. I think it's going to be a struggle. That's why gorillas nest on the ground. You know, gorillas don't give a fuck. They're 500 pounds and they're 5'4".

They have no natural predators. They're so strong. I mean, we can't even wrap our heads around how strong they are. Because chimps are strong as fuck and gorillas would rape a chimp with their little one inch dick. You know, gorillas have tiny dicks

because they're so dominant. They don't have any pressure from other males and the women, the female gorillas are so in line with how everything's supposed to be. They're not sluts at all.

Female chimps are whores. They will fuck anybody who comes around and male chimps know this. So male chimps have giant testicles. And the reason why they have giant testicles is they always got to be ready to go with a big fat load from one of these dirty bitches.

That's a part of the chimp world. All animals that live in promiscuous societies, they all have large testicles. Including human beings. There's a direct correlation between the size of a man's testicles and whether or not – The promiscuity of the women. Yeah, the promiscuity of the women in your environment.

When are you going to Africa on safari? I know you always said you're scared of Africa. There's no real safari, dude. You can go to Botswana. Yeah, but you know where you go, dude? You go to these wildlife sort of containment areas where everybody gets in a... You can go actually out there. Yeah, that's a good way to die.

In South Africa, you can go to proper safaris. In Botswana, you can go literally nowhere. Yeah, you can also get eaten by a lion. There was a whole fucking story recently about these two female lions that broke into a house and pulled a guy out of the shower. He was showering. He was naked showering, and he got killed by two female lions. The females do all the hunting.

The males just sit around. Could you wrap your head around it? So you're not going to Africa? You want your bar of soap. La-di-da. Di-da-di-da. And you hear something. You open the fucking curtain.

There's two lions in the bathroom with you. Two female lions. And they just put the beating on you, son. Rip you to shreds. Drag you out. Okay, what's a better way to go? Africa, basically what I'm trying to say is that Africa can suck my dick, okay? I'm not going to where all the scary animals live.

So Joe, if you have to choose a way to die, would you rather be in the water with a great white or land with a lion? Enough of these questions. No, you're not going to one-iff me into a fucking heart attack i'm fucking scared of all of them man i'm scared of tigers i'm scared of sharks i'm scared of everything dude so i'm scared of all that shit joe by the way that ancient alien documentary amazing thing that you tweeted did you watch the whole thing i watched i watched all three hours great yeah i should I should give that guy props.

There's a video that I tweeted yesterday. Today is October the 2nd, and if you go to the October the 1st feed, I tweeted this video where this guy, he must have massive autism, because this guy went and debunked every single point that ancient aliens has ever put forth about how humans could have never built this. This is impossible. He fucking stomped a dirty mud hole in every fucking show that they've ever done.

And he did it. It's over three hours long. It's on YouTube and there's no question. No question. No question. Like you watch it. You're like, okay, yeah it it's over three hours long it's on youtube and there's no question no question no question like you watch you're like okay yeah it's so good it said just go to ancient aliens debunked and you want full movie fixed audio that's the version the other one had a little weird glitch in the audio but it's still it's still you can still watch it it's still excellent and it's called the guy's YouTube name is, what is it? Verse by Verse BT.

That's it. It's one word. Verse by Verse BT. That is his YouTube page. And it's a brilliant job. Whoever this guy is, thank you very much. Because what you did is you cleared up so much confusion. And for me, there was a lot of stuff that I really didn't understand.

There's still some stuff that i really didn't understand there's still some stuff that hasn't been explained there's some of the things about pumapunku and the way they uh they've moved stones and fit them in i think it's very interesting um that you know that this guy was able to find so many pieces of evidence that point to how they did certain things and explain how they built obelisks and giant stones and show ones that were in the process of being made when they abandoned. So you can clearly see how they did it. Fascinating.

And also you had some brilliant insight on the construction of the pyramids that I had never heard before about the theory of the internal ramp. Because the question has always been like how they how they place the stones how do they move them into place and they actually did some sort of a um uh like an x-ray of the uh with some radio wave graph of the pyramid and you can actually see the internal ramp and they didn't understand what that was when they first made this reading of the actual structure of the Pyramid of Giza until this internal ramp theory came into play. And this guy examines the internal ramp theory and shows all the evidence for it, including areas of the pyramid where at certain points you could actually go in through the side of the pyramid. There's a hole.

And you can go in and see where there's all this space in there. And most likely that's how it was built. What does Graham Hancock say? That's what I want to know. There's a hole. And you can go in and see where there's all this space in there. And most likely, that's how it was built. What does Graham Hancock say? That's what I want to know. Well, either way, listen, this ancient aliens debunking, what it does is explain how all these things were done.

What it doesn't explain is how they figured this out. What it doesn't explain is what kind of intense mathematics were involved, the equations of 2,300,000 stones, each of them cut so perfectly that they meet exactly in a point at the top. It's trippy. It's amazing.

And more importantly, it doesn't explain why they did these things. It doesn't explain that, and it doesn't explain where they got the knowledge from. It explains how they did it. And how they did it was certainly they did it was, it was certainly it took a long time. It certainly was incredibly difficult. It certainly required master craftsmen

and builders and skillful labor. But the knowledge to construct it is what's really fascinating because that is what Graham Hancock points to. It's not that, he doesn't believe that this was like aliens came down and gave people information like the ancient aliens guys do.

What he believes is what's backed by real evidence. And that evidence is that there was a very sophisticated culture that existed all over the world somewhere around 10,000 BC. And that something probably happened to those people and we had to start a lot of things over again and coincidentally this time period that Graham Hancock points to which is about 10,000 plus BC is the exact same time period that the most recent discoveries of glass impact glass from meteor showers has been discovered at the same layer

of dirt all over the world. So scientists are absolutely convinced, and this is fairly recently, that there was incredibly destructive meteor showers around 12,000 years ago. And they found these in France. They found this glass in the Middle East. And when they do soil samples, it's all on the same, I believe it's called the same strata. I think that's how they describe it.

The same area where they know, you know, the way to do the calculation stuff, how old it is. When they do carbon testing on that area. And they believe that somewhere 12,000 years ago, that's when the ice age ended. That's when all this mass extinction.

It's all around the same time of woolly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers. It's all in the same sort of area. And they could all coincide. So what we have in ancient Egypt is not simply an amazing culture that in 2500 BC built the pyramids. It might very well be that 10,000 BC they built the Sphinx, and 10,000 BC they had massive stone structures already in place back when we thought that people were just hunter-gatherers. That's the basis of Graham Hancock's thoughts on it,

and every day he's being proven correct. The more people discover about ancient civilizations the more Graham Hancock is correct he's a powerful man we were in awe of that guy just a lovely human being too just a great guy just exudes it

he's like the perfect representative in my opinion of what can be accomplished through psychedelics and thinking and just his his take on his own work and his take on you know the the the the difficulty in trying to express these very controversial ideas it's amazing it's very brave it's very honest i don't know if you watched the show with us but he did he talked about the 24 years that he was smoking cannabis and how the ayahuasca told him and He just dropped that right on us in the episode.

Just like, man, I have a lot of respect for someone who can just be that honest about themselves. That's the kind of guy you want running your country, man. He's no longer a writer or an archaeologist. He was like a great mind. He's a great man. He changed the way I looked at history. That book, Fingerprints of the Gods,

changed the way I look at history. That book, Fingerprints of the Gods, changed the way I look at history. And I'm pretty convinced now, especially due to the most recent geological evidence and the discoveries of things like Gobekli Tepe, which is this 14,000-year-old massive compound of huge 9-foot-tall stone columns. It's really – or excuse me, is it 19? I think it might be 19-foot-tall stone columns. It's got to be bigger than 9 because 9 wouldn't but what it is still amazing because 14 000 years ago people were supposed to be hunter-gatherers there wasn't supposed to be any sort of civilization like

this we're supposed to be living in fucking teepees and shit you know then he's showing that there's these huge stone structures by the way which they've only uncovered less than four percent of i believe because it's a painstaking process of uncovering because way which they've only uncovered less than four percent of i believe because it's a painstaking process of uncovering because you know they've got to do it with toothbrushes and shit they've got to sift through the sand and find bone fragments and pottery fragments and things along those lines but what they do know about gobekli tepe is that it was covered up 14 000 years ago covered up purposely covered up they literally000 years ago. Covered up. Purposely covered up. They literally buried a whole fucking city.

14,000 years ago. Intentionally, maybe. Intentionally. They did intentionally. They know they did. Because the type of landfill that they used, they used a type of, they filled in the area.

They're convinced of this. I don't know how they can figure that out, but they're pretty much in agreement. Do you ever want to go to those sites? Do you ever want to go to the pyramids and check them out? I've been to Chichen Itza. It's the only place I've ever been to. Where's that from?

That's Mexico. Mexico, okay. Yeah, it's near Cancun. Fucking amazing, man. It's amazing. It's incredible. It feels different when you're there. You can feel there's something about it, right?

It's freaky beyond freaky. Just to think that you're walking in this area, as i'm looking around i remember just standing there um and just thinking that at one point in time this was like this was a football field and they were playing that crazy game where they kicked this ball through a hole which devolved to they believe that they might have played it with human heads at one point in time and just the one area where they have the sacrificial altar where they would kill someone and cut their heart out and throw their heart down the stairs. I mean, they had it.

You could go there. You could touch that altar. You could walk up this stone staircase. Does it feel really negative? It feels weird. It's like these guys went dark. Hancock's new book is about, his new fictional piece is about that whole period. Oh, my gosh. He's talked about these guys went dark. Hancock's new book is about, his new fictional piece is about that whole period.

Oh, my gosh. He's talked about it on the show. And we were like, he talks about 80,000 people being slaughtered in four days for ceremonial purposes. And I was just like, oh, God. Just listening to him tell the story was terrifying. It was actually, yeah. 80,000 people they slaughtered? In four days.

And he said just the rivers of blood and the human sacrifice i guess they would fatten people up in pens for days and weeks on end in order to sacrifice for like a brand new monument and just the concept of you being there fattened up with your family when you know you're just going to be have just to be used to have your heart pulled out of your body and shown and then human beings are capable of some fucked up shit dude and the crazy thing is it's like how did they go from the people that were so incredibly sophisticated that they built these structures that were aligned to the cosmos and when they were aligned to they directly correlate a lot of them do with constellations like they understood the alignment of certain stars they understood the prediction of lunar

eclipses like a thousand years in the future they had figured out. So they had this incredible knowledge of astronomy. And they had figured out and recorded a lot of really incredible shit. And yet they were killing 80,000 fucking people in a couple of days. Light and dark always go together, right? Is that what it is? I mean, I feel like it's... I've been talking about this lately on stage, too,

about the real problem with the nuclear bombs, that the guy who pressed the button never... didn't build it, doesn't understand it, didn't create it, didn't invent nuclear explosions, didn't figure out how to split the atom, didn't construct the whole piece. He doesn't... Didn't see what radiation victims look like.

All he has to do is come along and press his button. Oppenheimer, who worked on the Manhattan Project in New Mexico, he had big moral dilemmas about creating the atom bomb. And he later died from cancer. I think it was throat cancer from being radioactive when he was working on it. But he really troubled his whole life.

Yeah, well, do you remember what he said? He said when they tested the first nuclear bomb, the very first explosion, he quoted the Bhagavad Gita. He said, I am become death, destroyer of worlds. So he said, like, at the first, because he knew what he had done, he's like, oh, shit. He's got to have some serious karma.

He could have just slacked off for probably a few nights of work and not created it. Well, see, the people who can create it would not be the people who created it. The people who can create it would not be the people who created it. The people who can create it would be the people who go, you know, if you just understand how atoms work, if you got in there and split this and did this, you shouldn't do it. But if you did, what you could do is you could fucking have an incredible destructive power. Don't do it. But if you wanted to do it, that's what you would do. It's like the warrior or the general, the military man, who would drop a fucking atomic bomb on a building and on a city

is way too fucking stupid to ever figure out how to make that thing. It's like the mentality to figure out how to make an atomic bomb is completely different than the mentality that you would just drop one out of a plane. Do you think Ahmadinejad, if he had a nuclear bomb, would launch it on Israelrael or do you think even like minajad knows i i don't want to be the guy that does this this is what i think i think that when you have nuclear power or any sort of mass destructive power it's a lot like the military equivalent of winning the lottery you didn't really earn that you just have it you just it, and you're going to spend it. And you're going to spend it with no regard.

You're going to spend it not knowing the consequences. You're a child with a grown-up toy. You haven't developed this thing. You've just got access to it. The same way some asshole who doesn't really understand cars can somehow or another just go into a Chevy dealership and buy a Corvette ZR1 with 648 horsepower and just fucking stomp on it and slam it right into a tree. That moron should have never had access to that kind of power or never have access to that kind of ability to move so quickly. to move so quickly with his own decision making.

He can decide whether or not to run the red lights and whether or not to just drive his car right into a fucking mall parking lot and smash into cars. You can do anything you want when you have a Corvette. You die, but if you could choose to just drive into traffic if you're fucking crazy. There's something weird about our ability in contrast to what we understand or what we have earned, the power that we've earned.

If you build a bow and arrow, if you're a tribesman, you're out there in the woods, you build a bow and arrow, you craft it, and you develop your aim, and then you use it, and you hunt and kill an animal. That's fair trade. You've earned all of those steps you've really earned all those but if you drop a nuclear bomb in a lake and then start pulling out fish we got all the fish we need you know you're just some fucking asshole with a nuclear bomb like you you can't build one of those on your own on a similar note like that's why i'm i've been told the best the best war leaders or the best generals are the ones who've come up through the ranks because they've seen combat. They know what it means to

send people onto a battlefield, whereas the guy who just went to West Point and never fired a shot in his life, it's easy for him to say, like, send in the troops because he doesn't know the direct consequences of that, right? I think that's one of the reasons why they like people that get into office that aren't like Wesley Clark or aren't like John McCain. People that, you know, essentially they're chicken hawks. Guys like George Bush, guys like Dick Cheney. The ones who are the biggest warmongers are the ones who never experienced it personally. You know, I think a guy like John McCain would be far more reluctant to use a military strategy

knowing that there's boys out there that could have been just like him. A guy like Wesley Clark would certainly be far more reluctant to take the lives of these young soldiers for granted because at one point in time, that was him. Colin Powell was really good about that in the first Iraqi invasion because he had spent so long in Vietnam. And he had seen the mission creep there and like how it lasted forever and ever and he was really adamant it's just let's go in and get the hell out what's mission creep brian it's when you don't have a defined uh outcome of a mission you're not like we're gonna go in and do x y and z we're gonna go in and wait until there's peace or we're gonna defeat terrorism and it's like there's no there's no specific uh end to that terrorism. And it's like there's no specific end to that mission. It's happened in Afghanistan.

It's happened in Iraq. Yeah, yeah, that's the idea that we're slowly empowering our bases out there and building up, and that's what we're doing right now with Iran. What we're doing with Iran is we're slowly moving battleships into that area, and it's getting pretty scary. Iran's a crazy unique case. There's a website I want you to check out sometime into that area. And, you know, it's getting pretty scary. Iran's a crazy unique case. There's a website I want you to check out sometime called stratfor.com, S-T-R-A-T-F-O-R.

And they're really big into this thing called geopolitics, which is basically every nation is built on kind of their geography as well. And they just talk about how Iraq's built up in a very mountainous way. And it's in no one's interest to go in there because it's such a mess to do that. And I hope we don't anyways

because we don't really have any business doing that. No, sorry, Iran, yeah, of course, Iran, yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. We don't have business doing it. It's nuts. They certainly shouldn't develop nuclear arms. Who knows if they even are? Who knows if they even are trying?

I assume they probably are, but it could be propaganda. It could be just one of those things where we just need that area, that path to bring our oil through you know and that's what that's what supposedly what this whole fucking thing is about it's a great trump card i mean north korea has used this threat of a nuclear device to keep them alive for like 20 years and they keep bargaining they're like we're gonna bargain this month and then they don't and but it's kept them kind of relevant just having this one weapon so i think that's why countries want it the whole world's a mess i mean real fuck it's a bit frustrating sometimes and leave more podcasts well yeah well believe it or not that sounds

stupid right like boy how grandiose are we we think we're going to change the world the only way you can change the world is to influence young people so that the young people who go through the ranks don't imitate all the crusty old fuckheads that have been running things in these archaic ways because that's just the way things always were done and communication is super important communication and access to information this is a different world this is not a world where you can bullshit people quite as easily like if your ideas were going to the iranian public and they listened to your podcast and similarly maybe if there was a crazy iranian podcast and we they listen to your podcast. And similarly, maybe if there was a crazy Iranian podcast and we could listen to their leaders, I just think communicating would get us at least in the right direction.

Well, I bet my podcast does reach a lot of Iranians. And I bet there's a lot of Iranians who have their own podcast, just like London Real. You know, I think I got to assume that this is not going to stop here. This, I think what's going on with podcasts and especially with the free ability to distribute information and to communicate, not even distribute information,

but just even to talk on the internet, to discuss things, to review things, it's never existed like this before. There's never been a time in human history where a guy could be doing something like my podcast in LA and you guys in London could be listening to it when you're going jogging. I mean, where the fuck has that been apart?

We get emails from people in Denmark. Taiwan. Us too, yeah. Five years ago, we couldn't have done that. It's cheap. It's not hard to do. to spend billions of dollars and put satellites in orbit and figure out how to you know figure out how to get our message to people and goes over on a fucking horseback and you know you gotta you gotta decipher it you gotta hire a local guy who speaks the language no it's it's fucking easy as shit man it's really easy and this is not going to change i think that you know

what the crazy thing is is the internet was originally um the department of defense project yeah and now it's gonna it going to bite them in the ass. But it's not. We need them still. We need them still. We just don't need them as a daddy. No man needs another man as a fucking daddy. What we need is camaraderie, and we need community.

We need the government to rethink what they really are. They are one of us. We're all in this together. It's not like the Stanford prison studies where they took college kids and they had some of them become guards and some of them become prisoners and you immediately see corruption and abuse. It doesn't have to be prisoners and guards. It shouldn't be, but that's what it is.

We have a government that's set up that's not a part of our community, that's not one of us. We have instead people that are trying to tell us what to do or will lock you up. And they suck at what they do. They suck. They're incompetent and they're shitty at their job, so they like to hide. They like to hide information. They like to make it really hard for you to get a hold of anything that shows that they suck at their job. And when you bust them sucking at their job and you distribute that information you become an enemy of the state like wiki leaks i mean stop and think about what wiki leak has done wiki leaks in releasing that collateral murder video let people know how calloused war can make regular good

americans and turn soldiers into people that don't that don't care that innocent people got gunned down the street and that make jokes and talk lightly about machine gunning vans filled with people, including children. I mean, this is fact. You watch that video. It makes you feel bad for the guys who are shooting. It makes you feel bad for the people on the ground. The whole thing makes you feel bad because the whole thing is just off. you feel bad for the people on the ground, the whole thing makes you feel bad because the whole thing is just off.

It's just wrong and crazy and not what we want when we think about the United States of America in a proud way. We think of ourselves as being a noble country, a country filled with people that are rugged individuals that figured out a way to escape from the monarchy of England and come over here and do it on our own. And this time we're going to have freedom and we're going to have the Constitution and we're going to make sure that we have rules in place

so that corruption can... And then you see just massive amounts of corruption. And we were there 40, 50 years ago. I mean, we had a guest... Well, we had the... Okay, I guess we had a guest on two weeks ago and we talked about Islam. He's a Muslim guy who lives in Britain.

He's from Pakistan. And he was like, Brian, when I grew up in the early 80s, late 70s, we had all these wonderful ideas of what the U.S. was, something good. Maybe we were also anti-Soviet at the time. I don't know. We also didn't have the Internet. That's a big part of it. We didn't know.

No one knew about it. You think people didn't know what we were doing? Operation Northwoods, man. That was in the 1960s. In the 1960s, they were going to blow up airplanes and they were going to throw bombs and attack Guantanamo Bay. And they were going to blame it

on Cubans so that we could go to war with Cuba. And that's a fact. The Freedom of Information Act has released all the documents. It wasn't a pipe dream. It was signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff. But do we have a less favorable view globally now, America, than, say, 30 years ago? Yes, because of the internet.

Okay. And because of the Iraq War. The Iraq War in Afghanistan and the subsequent damage. And then, of course, in other countries with the drone attacks. And look, I don't know how much of a threat al-Qaeda is. I don't understand. I'm not privy to that information. They don't let us.

We don't get access to... I don't know how many different attacks on America they've called down. They haven't had a second successful attack since 9-11, which is crazy. It is crazy. But it's also crazy that anybody wants to attack us in the first place. Why are they mad? And with George Bush, the only nonsense we ever got is, they hate our freedom. And you're like, you motherfucker.

That's it? They hate our freedom? I always wonder if America as a sovereign entity, if it was actually attacked, which it's never really been on its own soil, except for 9-11, but that was... Okay, two planes in a building. Alright, Hawaii. Alright, guys, you're killing me. Would everyone bond together? Or as you said earlier,

is it a nation that's fragmented? I mean, if Louisiana got attacked, would L.A. people be like, well, fuck you guys? Or would you get drafted and sign your kids up to go and die to defend those borders? That's a good question. Well, after 9-11, what happened here was everywhere you go, you would see flags, American flags. Within the first couple months after 9-11, everyone's car had a flag on it. Yeah, Manhattan, too.

I was there. It was trippy as fuck. It was fucking nuts, man. Especially in New York where everyone's an asshole. Yeah. You flag on it. Yeah, Manhattan too. I was there. It was trippy as fuck. It was fucking nuts, man. Especially in New York where everyone's an asshole. Yeah. You talk about it. It's one place where people are just,

but they were friendly all of a sudden, right? It was weird. In a creepy way? It was weird. It was real weird. I remember going to New York. We went maybe a year after September 11th and it was still reverberating.

It was the ripples and aftershocks of 9-11. People were way nicer than they'd ever been before. Way more friendly, way more humble, way more respectful for law enforcement and firefighters. They were really respectful of law enforcement. But it didn't last. But it's not human for it to last. Maybe we need a global scale for us to pull together as a species.

Maybe an asteroid does need to hit the Earth and a quarter of the population has to die so we all go, fuck, we need each other, we've got to stop being cunts to each other it's unfortunate that in this model of civilization it doesn't seem like there's any other way for us to learn other than shit falling apart it's not like we can just look at things and say hey listen obviously we're doing this wrong and we're going to have to figure out how to do it right and when in the process of figuring out how to do things right there's a lot of shit that's going to go away. And one of the things is people who have billions of dollars.

You're not going to have billions of dollars anymore because your money is nonsense. Your money is basically a bunch of fucking things that are in a bank somewhere. And instead, what we've got to seek to do is we've got to seek to have a resource-based economy, a real resource-based economy. Then we've got to figure out who owns these resources

and how should these resources really be distributed. Should somebody be able to camp in front of a diamond hole in the earth and say, this is my fucking hole. These are my diamonds. It's like John Fresco's Long Lost Son. Do you really own those diamonds? Do you really own

that gold? Do you really own that oil well? Who's to say that these resources are yours? Should it not be that the resources are what powers our economy? Should it not be that the resources instead are what powers our government and that no one really owns them and that they're distributed to all the people that claim the earth as their home? And that sounds crazy crazy hippie nonsense socialist

but the reality is you shouldn't be able to fucking build a giant machine and park it 10 miles off louisiana in the middle of the ocean and just suck billions of dollars out of the earth and then not give any of that back and then say this is all ours we're getting all right we're sucking it all you're draining the earth like a giant mosquito bat vampire thing accountability just when you put it that not only no accountability you're making money off the earth billions of dollars and you're making it off the earth in international waters or you're making it in national waters or you're making it in a bay or who the fuck is why is that yours like? Like, what's yours? Because you got a contract to build this giant sucking machine? And where's that money going?

That's a lot of money. You can control a lot of shit with that money. You're making billions and billions and billions of dollars off of oil money. Man, you know what kind of fucking power you have to buy lobbyists? You know what kind of power you have to influence legislation? You have a lot of fucking power. Imagine if you could zero out all the bank accounts in the world. Look at that scene in Fight Club at the end.

It is. And when we had the financial crisis in London in 2008, apparently RBS, one of the banks at Royal Bank of Scotland, they were one day away from shutting off the ATM machines. Whoa. Seriously. If you've ever thought of a food riot, if you can think of people not being able to touch their money.

Oh, my God. Apparently, it was just, yeah. I mean, that would be some mayhem. Yeah, that would be some mayhem. And, you know, it's happened in little small doses with the collapse of, in America, it's happened a bunch. There's a savings and loan collapse that George Bush's son was involved in that was a huge scandal that, you know, cost people millions and millions of dollars.

A lot of people's personal fortunes were completely erased. Their entire life, Vinny Pazienza, the boxer, he lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Just gone, disappeared. Sorry, we don't have it anymore. And that's what a part of this financial bailout was in this country, the most recent one, was trying to avoid something like that happening with all these big banks failing.

But at the end of the day, if you're going to have a society that is well-designed, you can't use an infrastructure that is not well-designed and maintain it. The structure that we have now is so fucked up and corrupt and crazy. The cracks are starting to show as well. Yeah.

It's like having a giant building made out of cardboard. Instead of just acknowledging it, you're just throwing duct tape up everywhere it starts to separate. We've got to figure out a way for it to be a society that makes sense. And the only way that's going to happen is you've got to restructure finance you've got to restructure what money really is you've got to restructure how much money and how much uh how much people get paid to do certain jobs because like most people are fucking slaves they're just slaves with a they have a loose They're slaves because of – and by the way, that's your choice.

You cannot do that. You can – I agree with all that. You cannot be burdened by a home and mortgage and finances and car payments and all that stuff. But you know what would really be better? How about if you do actually work all day, you get paid enough so that you could save money and you don't have to worry about shit. You get paid enough so that you don't have to worry about being constantly in debt.

The idea of owning a house shouldn't be out of someone's reach. It should be fairly fucking acquirable. That would make a lot more sense. We just live in this really corrupt system of loans and interest and just nonsense number shuffling and you can tell you skeptical craziness i just don't know how we're gonna get there without blood everywhere you're right that's i don't know either or massive enlightenment and that massive enlightenment... Look, something happened, for sure, during the 60s. And a lot of people attributed it to psychedelic drugs.

The music changed. The culture changed. The society changed. Listen to The Doors recently. Yeah. That's... That's a big leap from Buddy Holly, man. Yeah.

Some big leap. Something happened. And that was a media forum back then. I was on Nick the other day. How do you spread a message without the internet? You do it over music. And you listen to Morrison's lyrics, and you're like, oh, shit. Changed kids.

It changed kids. That's one of the big things. You're right. You're right. The closest thing to Joe back in the day in the 60s and 70s was that Black Sabbath song, War Pigs. Oh, man. I mean, Red Van, can you pull that up?

Da-da. Da-da-da-da. Yeah, just a message through the music. But you're always talking about get the kids to change first. Is that your only... Everybody, man. Everybody that I talk to that comes up to me and says, dude, this podcast has changed my life.

You changed the way I look at things, changed the way I approach my life. I realize that this is not a permanent experience. This is supposed to be a ride, an enjoyable time, a finite time that I can manage. And if I just stick to a certain amount of principles, a certain series of principles rather, go towards what you love.

Actually do what you want to do. Be nice to people. Have a close-knit circle of friends. Love them as if you love yourself. To really move in that direction is possible for all of us. And that's the way you change the world. The way you change the world is you change the way people look at things so that nobody wants to be the big cunt in charge. Because the big cunt in charge leaves a shit life.

You know, these guys, look, we live in a world where when kids get crazy and they make a lot of noise and they're fucking hard to deal with, people give these kids antidepressants. They give them Ritalin. They give them, you know, all kinds of different crazy shit then when they get to be adults then they're even more fucked up and sad and disconnected with their shitty lives so then we give them antidepressants we give them more things to to help them get over this little mental hump and then their dick stops working what do they do well we come up, we got Cialis and Viagra and Levitra and all sorts of pills that make your dick hard. Well, you know, I'm fucking, this stuff isn't helping me anymore.

Oh, we got some other stuff that you add on to your antidepressant. You take this as well as that, and this is really going to put you over the top, and that's really going to make you happy. And we constantly keep looking for some sort of a chemical fix for depression and for the lack of good feelings in this life. And I think that there's certainly people that have mental imbalances and they are helped by pharmaceutical drugs, by antidepressants. But that notwithstanding, there is also people that are getting a very bad signal from their life because they're living a life that is non-harmonious it's not fun it's

not filled with love and joy they're not pursuing their true interests and everybody's interest is fucking different and our natural state is to be joyful and calm and happy and if you look at those all those stories of when people encounter most indigenous cultures, everyone's cool. You know what I mean? There's also people that love to be depressed. There's people that revel in depression, take pride in depression.

Unfortunately, people that have criticized me for talking about depression, even on my own message board, some fucking dummies wrote some stupid shit. It was so poorly thought out. Does anybody get furious when you hear Joe talk about depression? Because if you understand, you don't think I've been depressed before?

Stupid. Everybody's been depressed before. People don't know that you have now because you're always so positive. Well, it took a long time to get positive. I've had really awkward social moments, really dark moments of terrible feelings that lasted months and months. We all have. Was there anything in particular that got you through it? Pussy.

That helps, certainly. But then that can be a source of even more depression. Yeah, tell me about it. You get a hold of a bad one. What do you tell people? People are always asking you for answers. I know you don't want to be the guy. You're like, I'm not the guy trying to tell you answers.

Well, I can tell you what I've learned. What do you tell people? You can never tell people what to do but you can tell people what helped you you know and you can tell people uh what has aided you and where you were going wrong and how you saw it and corrected it it's like a big part of life is is got to be the way you interact with human beings the happiness that you derive from friendships the happiness that you derive from doing things together from and also from creating things you, the happiness that you derive from friendships, the happiness that you derive from doing things together, and also from creating things. The happiness that, whether it's creating carpentry or art or any... We are some weird

animal that constantly seeks to use the imagination to make physical things manifest themselves. Whether it's physical things in terms of something you can read online or something that you can watch as in a video podcast, whatever it is, we have this massive amount of satisfaction that we get out of making things because we're some weird fucking bee thing. We're some weird insect that's making a hive. We're just making this super complicated hive that's connected by billions and billions of other little fucking weird pink monkeys and we or brown monkeys and black monkeys and yellow monkeys and we're all putting it all together and we don't know what it is we don't we we all are responsible for our own little piece of this crazy machine called culture and civilization we don't know what the fuck we're doing but clearly we're all working together in some weird form. And you can accept that and you can choose to be depressed. You can choose to live an ineffective, inefficient, non-harmonious life because it's going to make your mother-in-law happy and keep your marriage together.

Or you can seek silence and calmness and truly examine your situation and then slowly try to turn that boat around. Slowly try to turn that battleship towards where it needs to go. I think Ari Shaffir said one time, he said, start with the people in your daily life. He's like, be nice to the waiter and be nice to this person.

And it can start really simple. Yeah, that's my shit. Drop happiness bombs. Yeah, I'm gonna start doing start really simple. Yeah. That's my shit. Drop happiness bombs. Yeah, I'm going to start doing those. You can do it. It helps life. It puts forth more positive energy. And that sounds like hippy-dippy bullshit.

But it puts forth better feelings. You feel better about the day. And I think when you feel better about the day, you think better about the future. You respond better to other people. You set this ball in motion. And when you make someone feel better, then they make someone else feel better. Like, you know, if Ari sees me tip people or be nice,

and then he says, you know, I'm going to fucking do that too. And then you hear about that and you say, I'm going to do that too. And when that happens and someone hearing this says, that's how I'm going to do it, that is just ripples and ripples of positive reactions. Collectively, it can raise our collective consciousness ultimately. As much, if not more, than anything that's ever existed in human history. The biggest bursts of change that have ever come forth in human history are nothing compared to the reactions that people are going to get to the free access of information and content that the internet has.

The impact of the 60s ain't shit compared to the impacts of the 2000s and the 2010s and 20s. It's going to be logarithmically expanding. The world's going to be so quickly, it's kind of scary. We can't even wrap our heads around where it's going, and that's why the government is panicking.

That's why they're building this giant NSA spy fucking cabin in Utah, one of the biggest, most expensive projects the government's ever undertaken. No money for Neil deGrasse Tyson's gigantic telescope to see the beginning of time, but they've got plenty of money to build some huge building to store every fucking email you've ever written, to take everybody's laptop fucking camera and turn it on to watch you beating off and store it and put it in some fucking database somewhere. And you think that's a joke, but it's not.

It's true. Your fucking cell phone is basically a giant GPS tracking device. That's all it is. It's scary. Before I forget, I just want to offer up London Real Studios for you guys. If you're ever in town, use it as your studios if you want. If you guys want to give you... That would be dope guys if you're ever in town to you know use as you as your studios if you want you guys want to like that would be dope if we're ever in England for UFC that's when I usually come over I mean

obviously we love you guys on the show but if you ever want to just use the studios and I'm reckon you might be able get the Queen on your show haha you guys got enough juice that maybe you can get some crazy people that are in England or in Europe or Prince Harry you're one of those dudes Prince Harry is that a prince or is that one of the Hogley Mort guys? He's a prince. He's a real one? He's a prince, yeah.

I never know who's from... Dude, London's a trippy place, man. What is that show? What's the movie again? Harry Potter. Harry Potter. I never know if it's from Harry Potter or real. He's real.

But Red Band shirt says, Keep calm and carry on on the front of his shirt. And that's like, that pretty much says a lot about Britain. You know, I mean, Nick and I, we're actually foreigners, which is crazy. and we started a show called london real i mean i'm american he's south african so what brought you guys to england i went for bizzo you know 10 years ago for finance and what'd you go for your yeah i wanted to train jiu-jitsu i'm

under like someone high level so i went to train with roger right nice so you you moved to england for hodger gracie is it hod Roger some people call him I asked him on the show and he said either I call him Hodger the Jiu Jitsu guys the Brazilians guy they all say Hodger yeah

you know Hodger he's a scary guy my friend he's got the perfect Jiu Jitsu body too those long limbs he's a big tall dude I was surprised

when he came over I was like I forgot how tall he was were you shocked when he got knocked out by King Mo yeah I asked him about it on the show but I was surprised but I forgot how tall he was. Were you shocked when he got knocked out by King Mo? Yeah, I asked him about it on the show, but I was

surprised, but then again, like you said, on any day, King Mo's got some power. That's what's scary about wrestlers too. If a wrestler develops knockout power, the odds of you getting him down, it's kind of small. It's going to be hard to get a wrestler down. Jiu-Jitsu guys versus wrestlers are always

a weird sort of combination, because if the Jiu-Jitsu guy can't get the wrestler down and the wrestler guy is like a Chuck Liddell guy, it's bad for the Jiu-Jitsu guy. But if the Jiu-Jitsu guy can get the wrestler guy down, a lot of times wrestlers have some bad habits. Off their back, they're not as good. It's interesting, but that King Mo fight shows you

like a wrestler with some serious power like King Mo, that's a dangerous guy that's a dangerous guy to fight if you're trying to take the fight to the ground it's weird I asked Roger

why he's in London because he's a Brazilian guy you think it's the last place he'd want to go the land of rain and they say bad food London has some good food man we just gotta

you gotta know where to go that was like an old Bill Hicks joke you don't boil pizza a whole bit about London's food being bad I'm like you're crazy the Indian food there is sensational we've had some great great chinese food there what do you

guys think when you go to london what does it feel like weird or i love it i love london i love the people i think they're they're i think there's so much competitive craziness in america and there's so much just arrogance in the american attitude which which is one of the things that is sort of built. Yeah, made it as fucking nutty as it is. But it also makes it just exhausting. I feel it a bit just landing here from London. It was like we were on Mars, and I walk around. I'm staying in Venice Beach, and there is like a little bit of an aggression level.

It's a little high. Well, it's not that everywhere. We were in North Carolina. We were in Asheville this past weekend and uh raleigh we did raleigh friday and asheville uh saturday and asheville is a goddamn gem of a town it's a small town and i and everybody's walking on the streets and you know we didn't even think about it like where is this restaurant oh you three blocks up and to the right and we're all just walking and everybody else is walking people walk everywhere and i'm like that that's missing in san in in la it's

completely missing in la nobody walks anywhere you need to have face-to-face contact like the tube in london which is the underground you see people face-to-face you know and you're constantly interacting with them seeing these crazy women wearing burkas or some lady from somalia and you're smelling them and seeing them and people are no more polite there too it's it's almost super polite matter you say sorry first I mean other their ten years now and like the first thing you say sorry it's really annoying when you know it's not it's beautiful it's just you know it's it's it's setting forth good intentions my buddy a theory that if you look at a place that's I mean America such a huge

landmass that it's not ever that densely populated if you compare it to like Tokyo or London where we're on this tiny little island. And what happens in places like that where it's so densely populated, people are forced to be, they're forced to learn to be able to live on top of each other, be nicer to each other because there's nowhere out. There's nowhere to run. I would agree with you except for New York. New York's filled with cunts and they're stacked on top of each other. The city's too much. Curling shit like chimpanzees. I lived there for a few years. New York's filled with cunts. They're stacked on top of each other. The city's too much. Curling shit like chimpanzees. I lived there for a few years and now it's too much for me.

It's not. I hear what you're saying, but no. I think it has to do with why people came here in the first place. The ripples, the first ripples of intention of the people that landed. They were crazy. They were people who were so bold, they got on a boat and sailed for months across the fucking ocean to some place they hadn't even seen in a video

because video wasn't invented. Yeah, that's crazy. They were lokesters. Thank you very much. That's a 10-minute warning. 10-minute warning. One thing about London, I find, is that there are years behind the technology curve.

I know in LA, so many people have podcasts, and maybe in New York, it's probably lagged a couple years, but in London, we tell people about London Real and it's like, it's a podcast and they'll be like, it's a what? There's just not a lot of people there yet. That's interesting, but I think that'll change. I mean, it's not like you don't have access to computers and an internet connection.

Microphones are, you could always buy them. You know, you guys will lead the way. You'll be the ones. It's new though. Start out. At first you show people, okay, we have a show for an hour and then they try to watch it like game of thrones for an hour it's like well it's not like that well you know we have a lot of people who do live shows here and i don't like those they do them in front of audiences yeah marion when marion does that in front of

audience i just turn it off because it always feels like it's different are they trying to cater to the audience and they're not talking to me? They're faking it. Trying to ham it up a little bit. You are aware, no doubt, that 50,000 fucking whatever it is in the audience. Guys have done them with thousands of people. I know Corolla does like 1,000 seats. It's crazy. It's not my thing, man. It's a weird vibe.

It's not the right sort of a vibe, I think, for podcasts. It's a different thing. Some people are good. Norton's great at it. Norton is really good at doing it. He turns it up. Do you think we should go live? We don't have a live format, but it's effectively live because we don't edit in his one hour.

I was curious. You guys do everything live. Yeah, live is good. You can do whatever the fuck you want, man. It doesn't matter. Try it out and see if you like it. I thought I would love it, but I hated it. You hate it?

You still hate it? No, no, no. He's not saying in front of an it. I thought I would love it, but I hated it. You hate it? You still hate it? No, no, no. He's not saying in front of an audience. He's saying live. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, it's pretty authentic.

Everything we've said in this has been live. It's already been consumed. Who knows how many fucking people. How many people are listening to this, Brian? I don't know. Come on. You know. How do you know the numbers?

How many people do watch your show? Altogether? We don't know. How do you know the numbers? How many people do watch your show? Altogether? We don't know. Millions? Yeah, it's definitely millions. We're also on Sirius Radio. Right now we have 2,300. Yeah, I mean, like, just our Ustream page has 11,454,000 views.

Just our Ustream page. And way more. Like he said, there's only, like, 2,000 people watching at a time. The most, I think, earlier was probably close to 3,000. page and way more like like he said there's only like 2 000 people watching at a time the most i think earlier it was probably close to 3 000 the most we've ever had like maybe 9 or 10 000 at once watching it yeah but the the real numbers are in audible downloads audio downloads mp3 downloads right that's where it gets crazy can we um drop our info people want to come check us out all right we're um the website's uh londonreal.tv.

We're on Twitter, at London Real TV. And you can always check our YouTube channel, which is London Real TV. It's a channel. Or just type London Real into Google, man. You'll find us. And also, guys,

I have a jiu-jitsu site called Jiu-Jitsu Brotherhood. That's all one word. And I discuss my philosophies. It's jiu-jitsubrotherhood.com. Just talk about my style of jiu-jitsu. Everything's free on there. You can go check it out as well if you have a chance. you guys if anybody wants to start a podcast in any city around the world if you got questions you can email a message just call us we'll be happy to help i'd love to see more of these things you don't have to call it real

you can call it whatever the fuck you want but and maybe in one year from today you can be on joe's show yeah easily fuck yeah i'll have anybody. And I think that's what it's all about, right? I think it's all about encouraging other people to carry this on. And you guys are doing it the perfect way. It's beautiful to watch. I enjoyed watching your show. I enjoyed listening to it,

listening to your conversations with Graham Hancock and Simon and a bunch of other ones I've seen too. It's awesome. And I hope that you guys spawn a million others and it continues on. Could have paid forward, right? Yeah, I think that really is. It sounds so fucking corny and grandiose, but I think that really is the way to change the world.

The way to change the world is to let people know how you've changed and then it branches out. It ripples. It has this massive sort of snowball effect, and it just grows. And if there's any way that we can improve our world, it's improving the way the other people around us see it and approach it.

And this thing might be ridiculous. It might be just one frame in an infinite movie that goes on forever. And that's, for a lot of people that get really sad really sad about that and say well wow that's so pointless like what's but but it's happening right now and i'm enjoying the fuck out of it if it is happening right now if this is really one fucking step in an infinite number of steps and it's just a life cycle that repeat itself again you're going to be a baby again in 50 years. Guess what? I'm having a great fucking time.

It's fun as fuck to do this stuff. And if I can figure out a way to somehow or another transfer this energy into my next life, I'll have a great time in that life too. I didn't always have a great time in this life, and I don't know what that's from. I don't know. I don't know if reincarnation is real. I don't know if this is a one-time shot,

and everything else is just your ego trying to protect itself from the inevitable doom of the spirit which dies just like the body does. I don't know. I don't know. We're all going to know one day though, right? Maybe. I'm not sure of that either.

Well, we're all going to die. I don't even know if that's real. I'm not convinced. This whole thing might be a fucking dream within a dream within a dream. It might be a Playstation 7 game wrapped up in chocolate sauce and pumped into your veins through a pot cookie that

Brian Redband handed you on your web no cookies no cookies Nick but I think what's made it fun for me is to have these kind of conversations it's really made life more enjoyable and I know that you guys are positively influencing a lot of people and i know uh this show is and all of our friends are

and i think uh that's that's what's up you know i think that's uh that's that's uh something that we've all locked into most of us unexpectedly sort of stumbled into it but that's also i think that's the right way it's supposed to go down. You know, the universe has a plan for all this and, uh, we're little, little strange monkeys. We, we follow the plan.

And if you're, if you're resonating the right frequency, if you have the right intent, I think that plan turns out the way this one's turned out. I think it's good. It's helping everybody. It's awesome. London real bitches.

Thanks. That's what's up. Thanks so much. So they can find you guys on Twitter London Real TV on Twitter do you have individual Twitter accounts?

nah we just roll as a team do we have small ones? we're like husband and wife do we have small ones? I know dude we're like we bicker at each other

it's like crazy just wait until one of you actually gets married and starts having kids and then you'll have some fucking problems oh and that offer goes out

then you can have the wife come in and they'll be like are you really gonna podcast with him again today? God, you guys did one a couple of days ago. Do you get this? How about you go back to one week?

No, I don't tolerate that, son. I keep the pimp hands strong in my household. No, me, Tarzan, you, Jane. That's how I roll. For life, bitches. Hey, can I promote the Death Squad show? Oh, shit, yeah. November 10th, me, Brendan Walsh, and Tony Hinchcliffe are coming to Columbus, Ohio at the Willens Tavern.

It's on brownpapertickets.com to search for Death Squad. And we're going to have a couple more days. And there's a special surprise guest that I'm not allowed to say who's joining us. Oh, shit. Special surprise guest. And that is all. You can get that information also at deathsquad.tv. Brian will have that up.

Yes, people keep asking me, when are you going to put together a website where you have all of the information of everybody that's, quote-unquote, involved in the Death Squad? We're going to do that. It's just a matter of time. It's just a matter of, like I said,

I have too much shit going on right now. Brian has too much shit going on right now. There is somebody else doing it for us. Vicky Pezza's got Death Squad News where it has all of our tour dates. That's nice as well. Right here.

See, look. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it has all of it. Like Ari, Bert Kreischer, Brian Calland, Ari Shafir. There's me

from a show that was like a month ago. Oh, yeah. She hasn't updated in the last week. It's free. Well, we got to have someone. Look, we're going to do this.

It's all when the studio gets constructed and moving in place. Brian and I just had some conversations about it today. And the regular weekly shows at the Ice House, I talked to Bob today. We had a little meeting he brought me in. And one of the things that Bob Fisher, the owner of the Ice House, wants to do is have a weekly show here. So I will be at the Ice House every week that I am in town. If I'm not in town I won't have a show here but most

Wednesdays consider it done. This Wednesday so far it's Joey Diaz Duncan Trussell. Are you in? Probably. Probably. Probably Brian. I think Ian Edwards is coming too and I think Ari Shafir. Ari Shafir is in. Boom.

Ari Shafir just texted me he said i'm in boom that's how we roll look it says boom it's he really did say that that's what kind of fucking psychic energy i'm putting forth ladies and gentlemen you see that god that's a big oh you got your text all big yeah i'm in boom okay you dirty bitches he's in boom and if you want to get in one of those super sweet desk squad tv tv shirts what's a tv shirt desk squad t-shirts the ones that i saw everywhere in north carolina this weekend holla at your boy um they're available at desk squad dot tv and again those those go directly to support Brian's podcast network. So if you like the Ice House Chronicles

and all those other cool podcasts. And Kevin Pereira, who will be starting tomorrow. Thursday, I'm sorry. I missed it. Thursday. So that is that's what's up. This week we have tomorrow we have Duncan motherfucking Trussell will be joining the podcast.

And then on Thursday we have Amber Lyon, who is the CNN reporter. They censored her, man. This is going to be really fascinating stuff. I'm really looking forward to it. This is going to blow your mind because I've been listening to several interviews of her that are already available online. And this is one courageous woman. And this is going to be a really, really fascinating look into the world of big-time journalism. You dirty bitches.

All right. Thanks to Onnit.com. Go there. Get yourself some AlphaBrain, son. They say, hey, man, what does neurotransmitters do? I say, they make you awesome. That's all I know. All the other stuff is mumbo jumbo and my eyes are going and I can't even read the small print without glasses.

But go to use the code name Rogan. Become an ant. Yes, become an ant. Use the code name Rogan and you will save 10% off any and all orders of supplements, including Hemp Force, the most delicious hemp protein available, known to man, motherfucker. It's got maca in it, which is good for your penis, and it's also got raw cocoa in it, which is an excellent antioxidant.

So that's the schedule for this week. New podcast studio is in construction right now. We go live with the internet this Friday. So within a week, we'll start doing some shows from there. But we will never abandon the Ice House, ladies and gentlemen. This is our home. We love you. You love us.

We are one. All of us together in this crazy, fucked up soup of humanity that might just be a dream. See you tomorrow, freaks. Peace. Thank you.