The Joe Rogan Experience - #279 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: October 31, 2012

Joe sits down with Duncan Trussell.

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. San Francisco, Brian Redband, Greg Fitzsimmons, and I are at the Knob Hill Masonic Auditorium. And I've gotten more than one email from really dumb people who think that because I am playing at the Masonic Auditorium, it just proves that I am a New World Order shill. You're a reptile, dude. You follow the Lightbringer, Lord Lucifer. I am a part of the Masonic, what do they call themselves? Brotherhood?

Plague. They're a fraternity. A fraternity. I'm part of the Masonic fraternity, and I'm in with the New World Order because I'm playing at the Knob Hill Masonic Auditorium. You know what a Mason told me once? He said that what it's all about is that math or geometry is the first language of the universe.

It's like the first language of God. And so they're super into sacred geometry. That's a big thing. And the whole thing's based on building the Temple of Solomon, which is where you house the Ark of the Covenant. It's all symbolic, of course, but the new Temple of Solomon that they're trying to build, according to the conspiracy theorists is society like this is it like society is the new temple of solomon and part of that was getting the united states revolution to happen because they helped fund

that and also fucking dc the street layout of dc is all masonic symbols and that goddamn obelisks popping up out of the middle of fucking dc that weird thing. And it's all over our fucking money. So yeah, Joe, we are worried about you. Are you dabbling? There is something going on behind the scenes, right? I mean, it's clear. If you look at the design of Washington DC, and folks, you really should look this up online

because it's not something that, it's irrefutable. The grid, the way they've lined up the streets, the way they put the buildings and everything. I mean, it literally is Masonic symbols. It is. And it's all over our fucking money, too. Yeah. Yeah, what's up with that fucking all-seeing eye on top of the pyramid? Just an eye on top of a pyramid.

That makes sense. The United States and its long love affair with Egypt. Think how the Egyptians helped form our constitution yeah right no one thinks about that shit that's what's so fun about the occult you know because the word occult itself means hidden but it's like hidden in plain view because this shit's in front of everybody like all the people who deny conspiracy theories and stuff in their wallet are fucking rectangles covered in Egyptian occult symbology that they don't even think about. Yeah, and for folks who don't know, what the symbols are in Washington, D.C., the way it's set up, is one of them is a Lucifer upside-down pentagram. Sure.

I mean, so the horns stick up in the air. I mean, that's there. I mean, they did design this. They really did design the streets like this. And the other one is like that Masonic symbol that looks like a measuring device. Yeah. Yeah, that means a lot. But yeah, that's why they like that.

But yeah, that's why they like that, because what they're trying to do is to sort of articulate the primary, the very first way that the universe formed, which is through geometry or through a cascade of specific physical laws that are based on math. It's super fucking cool, man. That's what masons are? Well, that's what a mason told me at a wedding. I don't know. He's drunk, too. I don't know. Yeah, I met a drunk mason at a show at the Laugh Factory in Houston.

He was showing me his mason IDs and shit. And I'm like, what the fuck is being a mason? What do you guys do? He's like, oh, man, it's just secret society, you know? Hung out together. Yeah, hang out together. We had to do rituals where you come out of a fucking coffin. I know that happens.

Okay, but how much power do you really think they have, wield, try to use? Is there really anything to what they're doing? Or is being a mason just fun? It's like being an Elks Lodge's lodge i've heard there's bunches there's many different levels of the thing and i imagine that uh a lot of masons uh are probably in politics and when you're when you're in a fraternity and you're in politics you're probably going to pay deference to other people in your fraternity when it comes to working together to make laws happen or whatever you're up to so i i a lot of people say it's a waning population that the masons are kind of like dying out because fewer young people are signing up because they don't recruit so to become a mason

you have to ask a mason so you have to go to the masonic lodge and be like i want to become a free mason and then they do like background checks on you and stuff. Should we become Masons? Yes! Let's do it. I think it'd be a blast. What do you think is good about being a Mason? I think ceremony is... People are going nuts right now in front of their computer.

It's fucking shills! These fucking New World Order shills. Where is the Alex Jones hotline number? I need to call him right now. Joe Rogan has publicly admitted on his show that he is a Mason. He has Duncan Trussell on who talks about how wonderful it is to be a Mason and spreading propaganda and disinformation about Masons being about geometry. They're about control.

They're about taking your soul ladies and gentlemen i'm not gonna stand for it well man i don't know you know i who knows i i think uh ceremony is a is something that is missing from a lot of people's lives in our culture because it's so goddamn weird and it sounds like someone wants to get married yeah yeah i guess so yeah someone wants to get married well that is that definitely that is definitely a ceremony but like you know there's a lot of other ceremonies too that aren't quite so uh based on like on stupid shit but i mean they're but they are like there's they're psychedelic man and like i read this somewhere i don't remember

who said it but it was an interesting point which is that a rock show is a ceremony in the sense that you're going to this to to watch people on stage crew like doing like songs which are a kind of chant that everyone already knows and you're taking psychedelics to go enjoy this thing so it's like that you know that jungian idea that like there's just certain basic things that tend to repeat through all different cultures and the way it's repeated in our culture is more through i'm gonna go see a rock show and dress in a certain way and take a psychedelic and trip out and have a kind of transcendent experience that comes through the music but it used to be, there's more formal versions of that idea, which is like, you take a psychedelic and then you do a series of like intonations or whatever

the fuck it is, depending on what religion or cult you're in. And that creates a kind of transcendent connective experience, which I think is fucking awesome. And it's fun to just watch, regardless of whether or not you believe in what that religion or ritual is trying to invoke, it's just cool to watch that form of dance and movement happen. It's a funny way of putting it because most people would never think of ceremony that way. And I think what a lot of these people that are freaking out about Masons and all this, I think people are nervous about any group that moves in secrecy. That was one of the secrecy. You know?

Like, that was one of the Kennedy speeches. Remember that? Secret societies. You should not be tolerated. Remember that? Yeah. I don't remember what the actual speech was, but I wonder what that was in reference to. Brian, see if you can pull that up.

Pull it up. It's Kennedy on secret societies. You have a laser in the middle of your forehead. It's so crazy looking. Yeah, I know. It keeps popping. It's like right on your third eye. Not the fact that I'm wearing sunglasses and dressing in a NASA outfit. What, uh, wait, what's going on? Kennedy, pull up. What? Where are we? Mom? Is that you? I was tripping out. Kennedy on Secret Societies. Pull up the video. Kennedy on Secret Societies societies you know i think um we learned a lot from those early guys early presidents before they learned how to shut them up you know when eisenhower was talking about the military industrial complex and giving that speech

i'll never fucking forget that speech that is a crit not that i saw it when it happened but look at this the very word secrecy is repugnant in a free and open society, and we are as a people, inherently and historically, opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths, and to secret proceedings. We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweighed the dangers which are cited to justify it. Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions. Even today, there is little value in ensuring the survival of our nation if our traditions do not survive with it. And there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship

and concealment. That I do not intend to permit to the extent that it's in my control. And no official of my administration, whether his rank is high or low, civilian or military, should interpret my words here tonight as an excuse to censor the news, to stifle dissent, to cover up our mistakes, or to withhold from the press and the public the facts they deserve to know. For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covet means for expanding its sphere of influence, on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections,

on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day. It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific, and political operations. Its preparations are concealed, not published. Its mistakes are buried, not headlined. Its dissenters are silenced, not praised. No expenditure is questioned, no rumor is printed, no secret is revealed. No president should fear public scrutiny of his program, for from that scrutiny comes understanding, and from that understanding comes support or opposition, and both are necessary.

I am not asking your newspapers to support an administration, but I am asking your help in the tremendous task of informing and alerting the American people, for I have complete confidence in the response and dedication of our citizens whenever they are fully informed. That's a scary fucking video. I'm sorry, Wallace. You know what's scary about that video is that that guy got murdered. Yeah, you got to start wearing a fucking helmet if you're going to give a speech like that.

What do you think it's like to actually be the president? Do you think that you just immediately meet with bankers and financiers and they just establish your agenda like right off the bat i mean it's pretty obvious that he was warning us about some shit that he was encountering you know he was the president yeah i think he was sort of experiencing uh the the growth of the cia the cia was starting to uh turn into this monster that they couldn't control anymore was starting to expand and stretch monster that they couldn't control anymore. It was starting to expand and stretch out and doing that thing that big organizations do where they try to keep themselves alive by making up shit. You know, that thing where, like, they're not necessary anymore, but it doesn't matter.

They just want the power. Yeah, that's what people don't understand. When you start talking about the government, you start talking about, like, well, what's the government? You know, the government is going to be either Mitt Romney or Barack Obama. Yeah, not so much. There's a whole secret government. There's a whole CIA thing that doesn't have to report to anybody. It can basically do whatever the fuck it wants, changes laws.

That's the real government now, and that's just, like, exactly what our founding fathers were trying to avoid, having one of those. There's a great book called Ac dreams that i'm reading which is about the cia and how they were the ones who got lsd and they're the ones who the cia basically started the psychedelic revolution of the 60s or was part of the start of that because they started doing lsd tests on college kids and so they're the ones who got it into our society. And it's a fascinating greed because LSD, whenever it gets into whatever group it gets into,

it's such a potent chemical, it starts transforming the group and changing the way the group thinks. So a lot of people in the CIA who are taking LSD, because that was part of the deal, is they would dose their agents to get them ready for the eventuality of potentially being given a truth serum or some kind of psychedelic brew. So you would go to work as an agent and all of a sudden just start fucking tripping because they dosed your drink. You know who was a part of the Harvard LSD experiments? Who? Ted Kaczynski. Right.

The Unabomber. Yeah. They fried that dude's brain. Yeah, exactly. They fried that dude's brain and made him see the eventual takeover by technology. He was terrified of the takeover of technology of the human race. And he really literally felt like he was protecting the human race by murdering people who were innovators. Imagine having a hardcore psychedelic experience on Sandoz LSD straight from fucking Albert Hoffman's sneaker just juiced out of his socks into vials and sent to the CIA.

Imagine having that trip, but you're a CIA agent. You work in one of the most covert organizations on earth with people who are trained to kill and poison and take cyanide pills. If they have to death pills, imagine being tripping in that kind of environment. That's fucking insane, man. That would be the worst trip. And I,

in this book, it talks about one of these agents like ended up committing suicide because his mind just couldn't handle what it was like to be part of that web of insanity and the senate did uh trials with the cia for these ridiculous experiments that they were doing uh some of which involved did i tell you about the sleeping room did i tell you about this no so they would go into they were doing this shit at uh mental health facilities and insane asylums um and what they would do is they would take people and they would drug them. They would put them into an induced coma for a month straight. It

was called the sleeping room. They would put you in an induced coma for a month straight and have headphones on and try to reprogram who you were as a person to wipe your fucking identity or replace your identity with some new thing because if you can do that then you create this like wonderful fucking operative like you get to just make a person you know get rid of all that pesky fucking the memories of their parents and whatever the fuck they think they are or whoever the and they can do this chemically well no no this shit got shut down because it's so unethical but where it gets weird and we talked about this on the phone is uh in guantanamo bay they've been giving people

six times the appropriate dose of larium which is this medication that you give people for malaria that has negative psychoactive effects specifically it gives people amnesia my friend just fucking got amnesia wrote a book on getting amnesia in india uh he wrote he wrote a book called the answer to the riddle is me his name's david mcclain but he went to india took larium uh which is a drug that is illegal in some countries it's a drug that came from a partnership between what what's that big pharmaceutical company hoffman de la roche or whatever the fuck the name is and um uh the military made this shit to fight larium and larium sits in your liver but sometimes it crosses the blood brain barrier and when that happens it mouth fucks your brain it just mouth fucks your brain until so you start having these shitty

fucking dreams and then if it really goes wrong you can have what happened to my friend which is complete and absolute amnesia no memory of who you are no memory of where you are how you got there who your family is anything no memory of anything this happened to him in a fucking train station in india where he said that they were having like they would have english which he could understand on the tvs and then it would switch to like hindi it would switch to other languages and he thought when it switched to other languages he was hallucinating and the english was like warping and turning into something else he didn't even know that these are other languages that's how gone he was he decked a fucking nurse dude

whoa he decked a nurse he was strapped down nurse or female nurse he was strapped down in a fucking bed in an insane asylum in india he said that jim henson he hallucinated jim henson taking him on a tour of the universe the stand-up the fucking puppet the puppet guy jim henson was god he hallucinated john henson is the yeah not john jim henson was god took him on a tour of the universe and explained to him that the reason he'd taken a human incarnation and all this was happening to him is because he'd been asked a riddle before he was born and he couldn't come up with the answer to the riddle and because of that he had to be a human again yeah crazy shit but the really crazy shit is they're giving these motherfuckers in guantanamo bay six times the dose of larium that you're supposed to be getting

and there is no malaria in cuba oh it's called chemical waterboarding look it up it's fucking nuts it's like chemical waterboarding you just get these bastards scoop them up from afghanistan blindfold them fly them to fucking cuba blast them with larium till they have no idea who they are and they'll fucking tell you anything man isn't it incredible like what they're allowed to do legally like with this bradley manning guy the guy who got this WikiLeaks situation. He's the one, the soldier that released all the documents. They've had this guy in solitary confinement for years now. He hasn't talked to people.

He hasn't seen anything. He sleeps with the lights on. He's probably completely insane by this point. Sure. To be without any human interaction. Joe, it's you laying on a... See, Joe? It's you in the future so not me and there's you like with your cap backwards pharmacological water yeah pharmacological

waterboarding get those fucking neurons all blasted with larium tell them they're satan you could tell them anything you could tell them they're crabs that came out of hell so fucking freaky that that's us you know remember we used to think that that like when we were kids it was like that was what the soviet union did you know they were cruel like the way they bred that drago and rocky for yeah like oh look he's they're so cruel and cold the soviet union does these horrible things yep and now we're doing that shit and there it is that funny thing where people have this idea they're like yeah you know the united states we've done some stuff that maybe isn't uh the greatest thing ever we've done it to protect our citizens from terror or the idea that that kind that shit that we did with like injecting

people with syphilis or the all the other crazy shit that we've done the idea that at some point like maybe in the 80s everyone in the government's like let's stop being assholes what were we doing what were we thinking let's just stop doing that crazy shit of course it still goes on of course there's still the things that are going by the way what do they say in rivers and politics the lightest shit floats to the surface the stuff you know about is a million times less freaky than the shit you're not hearing about the deep level stuff that's the stuff you gotta wonder about man because bradley manning that's just a that's a show pony yeah when you see femo pumping you know 500 000 coffins into texas yeah and they have these camps set up yeah

they have these gigantic camps set up where you're like what is going on in here there's high fences and these dormitories and there's armored fucking towers and shit you're like, what is going on in here? There's high fences and these dormitories and there's armored fucking towers and shit. You're like, wait a minute. What are these rifle towers doing here? What do you have here? Dude, there's already a room in one of those things with your fucking name on the door, guaranteed. And you too, Red Band.

You guys are going to get dragged off. Dude, what are you talking about? You're going. Fuck that, dude. I got a cyanide. I'm a sports commentator. I'll quit this job. I got a sports commentator i'll quit this job i got a cyanide pill in my molar i'm gonna snap that thing the moment they come

to the door i'm undercover this um yeah that's brian has just been a brilliant actor this whole time you thought was a retard brian cia i've always thought that this um all this shit that's going on right now in new york uh with Hurricane Sandy, to me, it's making me think of the real possibility that I never really considered of society falling apart. It really fucking could fall apart. Sure. One of the things they said was this is a once in a 100-year storm. Every 100 years, they actually said after it hit that they'd never had a storm like that before yeah but if you stop and think about it like what how much fucking

how much history do we have for storms what do we have 300 years that's reliable no i even have 300 years i heard we have a hundred years of accurate temperature measures i just heard this because they were talking about on npr but like a 100 years and after that you have to start going into ice core samples and tree rings and stuff to figure it out then you can only figure out like late frosts and you get like a limited amount of information yeah but like this could happen this could happen all over the fucking place like we're just lucky that for the hundred years of our lives that we haven't had more of these super storms these super storms could be a regular thing well it's i mean it's the you know the hockey stick idea the hockey stick which is like you've got the regular temperature you have the the general temperature of the earth

and that goes on for a while there was like an ice age in the apparently a mini ice age in the 1800s where shit got really cold for some reason maybe because of a volcano i can't remember i don't know i'm not a fucking geologist. But the hockey stick, the handle of the hockey stick represents basic temperature for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years. And then where we're at right now is this insane acceleration and temperature,

which people call global warming. And so some people say, well, the winters are colder, but the global warming people are climate change. That's something I think the scientists who came out with this research, they feel like they shouldn't have called it global warming because it's a confusing term. And when shit isn't warm, people are like, you're wrong. It's climate change. The idea is, as the oceans get warmer, hurricanes happen later in the season. If hurricanes happen later in the season, then they also meet up with winter storms,

which is what this motherfucker was. It wasn't just a hurricane. It was a hurricane meeting a storm that's normal in October. It's like the two coming together. It's actually three. Three? Fuck. I didn't even know that.

Fuck. It was the hurricane combining with two other storms. That's it. That kind of shit is like you know this people are saying it's once once every hundred years but it's like think of fucking katrina think of all the different crazy events that have been happening just in the last 10 or 15 years man i mean come on obviously something's going down and i think there is a huge possibility that people are just gonna have to get used to moving away from the fucking oceans

or yeah redesigning homes to like handle that shit while i was in montana we were in a place called the badlands and we're going down the missouri river and we we stayed and camped mostly in this place that used to be the great western inland sea and it was a warm water ocean so the the floor of this area where we were hiking was all mud. It was like a silt because it was the bottom of the fucking ocean at one point in time, man. And everywhere you go, as you're walking up these hills, as the ground breaks away, you find fossilized seashells. And they could be millions of years old, like literally millions of years old because this used to be a fucking ocean so it just tells us that we have to abandon this idea that we can stay wherever we want and that this is our home and we camp out here no when the climate changes

which it does all over the it doesn't the earth doesn't give a fuck if you've got something written on a piece of paper that says that this piece of antarctica is yours you can't live in antarctica asshole you got to get out of there and one point in time people used to be able to live in antarctica they're almost positive of it it's a it's a controversial subject but they have a detailed map of the outside the like someone someone did an accurate map of antarctica before it like was covered in ice that's the only way they found it. It's from the 1500s, and they know that ice has existed in Antarctica for a lot longer than that.

So it's an old fucking map. But at one point in time, people used to be able to go around Antarctica, and they made a fucking map of it. Wait, didn't people say that it was tropical there? Could be. Yeah, they don't know. Look, there's parts of the world that have varied wildly.

I mean, the Nile Valley, where it's a giant desert, used to be a rainforest. We know that rainforests recede into grasslands. We know that half of North America was covered in a fucking giant glacier just 14,000 years ago. 14,000 years ago, it was like a mile high of ice in a big part of the country. So it's like all this stuff happens whether or not you're driving a Volvo. It doesn't matter. This stuff has changed radically over time before any human influence at all.

So then it becomes the weird thing where people don't want to admit that we might have some part in this. No, it's very political, and a lot of the people who are climate change deniers as they call them are are fundamentalists they're very religious people yeah you're totally right you know this fucking young kid who was a marine brought it up at a jujitsu the other day it was uh someone was talking about climate change he's like that's a natural process i mean he's stretching out

and he's jujitsu he's like 24 and i'm like how the fuck do you know you know like there's dudes out there that are studying ice samples and core samples and trying to figure out fucking what's going on with the magnetosphere and this 24 year old kid's like it's a natural cycle just parroting this right wing talk radio version of what's going on yeah i think it's i think it changes but i also think we have something to do with it well the the the fundamentalists have always had a real fucking problem with nature and so whenever people like practice nature religion like when christianity was starting to spread those were the people who were getting turned into fucking marshmallows is the what's called pagan just meant country dweller

it's people who are familiar with the cycle of the moon the equinoxes the fucking solstices it's people who are like connected to the harvest which is where food comes from and the sun which is what makes the food grow so it's like really connected to the earth and then christianity came around with this fucking bearded homophobic jock who uh you know what i mean and that guy he wasn't a homophobe though who cry uh god jesus no i'm talking about god his kid was a little wild but god was god didn't like it god didn't like it god does not like gays um god according to those people and god certainly doesn't like people who are slurping back fucking psychedelic brews and

having orgies in the forest to celebrate life. God doesn't like those people. And so he burns them. They burnt all these fucking people. Anyway, the point is, there's always a war on between these fundamentalists who want to believe that the earth is some kind of endlessly renewable resource that you could just rip into and fuck up and bomb and do whatever you want to it uh and people who are like no this is a living organism and it's infested with these scabies like uh bomb throwing super advanced beings that are burrowing deep deep into its hide and sucking out its blood to feel we're literally vampires yeah we're feeding off the blood of the organism yes that's what runs our entire society is the blood of the earth.

And that's pretty incredible. Pretty incredible when you really try to wrap your head around it. That we may very well be parasites. I mean, that's like that bit that I did at the beginning of my 2005 special where I talked about how we're like mold on a sandwich. Like that mold, you know, we don't think of mold as individual mold spores we just think of it as mold well if you looked at us from a distance you would look at us as like mold we're a disease we're and then i said we might be here to eat the sandwich i mean that might be what human beings are here for yeah that might be why we're so fucking nuts we'll see this

is the fucking thing man we don't even even, like, we are all doing similar activities that are based almost 100% on the accessibility of that. Sweet Texas tea! But if, and that shit comes from inside the earth, and interestingly enough, that shit that we use to fuel our cars comes from an extinction event, which is really quite fascinating, to fuel our cars comes from an extinction event which is really quite fascinating is that we fuel our society on the um end result of massive changes to the planet and the pressures causing organic matter under the earth to transform into fucking oil it's crazy to think about that we

fuel our cars on an ancient apocalypse that happened that's a fascinating thing is it an ancient apocalypse or is it just the accumulation of dead bodies over time i think it must i mean i think it was whatever that fucking meteor impact was that destroyed all those giant trees back i don't think that's necessarily what they believe i think they believe that it's a continual cycle of breaking down of organic matter and converting it into oil. And that's why they used to call it dead dinosaurs, but they don't do that anymore because they realize a lot of it is even plant matter.

I think it's just... No, it's everything. Yeah, but that's also why certain wells, oil wells, have gone dry and then actually replenished. Not to the... I don't know, to the original point they were at. there's a guy who wrote a book on it called uh black gold stranglehold i think it was and his contention

was that the oil creation uh by the earth was just a natural product of just the cycle of the earth it's just like something that it does and that we are looking at it like it's uh this um this finite resource when it's in fact completely renewable well that's too that's too there's like the two schools of thoughts you get the peak oilers who are like no man that shit is not renewable we're fucked that's gonna run out and we're fucked and and there's no right what who's right god damn i wish i knew don't fucking ask me i mean i i i just out of a sense of like wanting to be optimistic and having a rosy outlook on things. I love Ray Kurzweil.

I love the idea that technology is going to advance to a point where we are able to fix so many of these problems. I tend to fall into that camp. Like my friend Johnny Pemberton. He's not so much. And we always get in arguments over this because you're like, no, it's just going to fucking it. Just society is like on the brink of collapse it's going to collapse fuck your technology motherboards are made of fucking petroleum products it doesn't matter like it is so there's not enough time even if we started producing solar panels now based on the amount of his his

version of it is based on the peak oil version. Yes, that's the peak oil story. And his version is also based on, it's sort of discounting the impact of the exponential growth of technology that eventually someone will come up with a way to convert it. I mean, they've got bacteria now that eats plastic. I mean, they can turn water into hydrogen and use it for fuel. There's a lot of crazy shit that's going on right now. You can't totally completely discount that. Well, I think this simulation theory stuff that I know you guys probably talk about on the show a lot

and I endlessly think about. Endlessly. I think that if these scientists continue with their research, which they're trying to do, the guy at the University of Maryland, that theoretical physicist, if they can prove that we're inside a simulator, then just from understanding that,

the kind of shit that you could theoretically do if this is a simulation that's running some kind of weird reproduction of the past, if that's really happening, then time travel becomes super feasible. I definitely am been thinking lately more and more that that is what the case is because just like ridiculous things like you saying the pokemon thing the other day joe the last podcast that was creepy to me like

i can't stop thinking about yeah why did i come up with pokemon and he had a pokemon outfit that he just happened to have and then he walks in the room with it on it's just we never talked about pokemon before never never never but i reached in the back of my head i pull out pokemon that was fucking weird see that's simulation shit could this is definitely well our lives are very strange very very very strange you know ari and i were talking about it last night you know we were talking about ari's life now ari and i went to play pool after I did the laugh actor last night and uh we were just talking about how Ari's life has just transformed over the last two years he went from being a guy who couldn't get booked anywhere to a guy that is living a dream everywhere he goes he's got packed houses they're all coming out to see him he's

selling out like the DC improv on a Saturday night selling out big shows they go crazy when he goes on stage and it's like all of a sudden the world changed and went from sucky to awesome yeah and it's like he just reached some new level of the computer game and now the entire world that he said his world literally is a different world yes like someone who's unsuccessful someone who's unfulfilled someone who's trying to accomplish something but keeps meeting with failure, when that happens over a long period of time, you can develop like a deep despair in the way you view the world. And that's where Ari was just a couple of years ago.

And now all of a sudden he's in this super happy world. Everywhere he goes goes people are happy to see him he's got a big smile on his face he's fun to hang around with he's joking around a lot he's super positive and he's traveling to all these places and having the time of his life it's like his world is a different the world is a different place now yeah it's well this is why i love the fucking multiverse theory i love the idea that we exist in a place where every single possible event is happening at once everything that could happen is happening it's all happening in one great eternal burst of happeningness and that

you can shift yourself from different nodes of where you are now to more desirable nodes of the multiverse, to places that you want to be. And that's what goals are. You know, having a goal is a form of visualizing the specific node of the multiverse that you would like to be existing in and the contrast between that place and where we currently are and it's like a grappling hook that you're throwing through infinity and it lands at this place that you can visualize and then you kind Of pull yourself to that place through action and discipline. Are you talking about nodes over there?

Nodes dude. Like the things that you put in the front of the lawn like the Not gnomes dude what's the nose stop it's a no you're gonna have to read before you get into this conversation i don't know what nodes are well you have to go google that dude i wish i was talking about no go ahead continue so anyway so the idea is like these fucking movements through the mult, as you move towards what you want to become, I feel like a symptom that you're moving towards this new universe that's possible for everyone is that synchronicities start happening.

In the same way that, like, when you're in a boat, you can see ripples in the water. And when you begin to really focus and move towards a place that you want to be, regardless of whatever the fuck that place is. If you really start working, going in that direction, that's when the juju starts happening. Weird coincidences, strange fucking moments that you consider like, man, the probability of that happening is so incredibly fucking low. There's no way that that could happen. And it's quite often absurd it's novelty it's like what you're just talking about fucking pokemon brian coming out in a

pokemon outfit this isn't like tesla having a vision for the fucking for alternating current it's just absurd and silly but it still fills you with a momentary sense of novelty this kind of like wow this place is pretty fucking cool i feel like that happens the more I'm tuned into life correctly. And the multiverse theory, as I've understood it, is also based on, well, one of the operating theories is that every decision that you make, every direction that you go in, every choice that you make, literally opens up a completely new universe. Yes. It's almost like we're cavemen learning a language, but the government or somebody already knows the language. We're learning how to be like, oh, we can make words. I don't think they do.

I think it's a massive mystery to all involved. I think the government understands that they have a certain amount of power and they don't want to let it go, which is what typically all corrupt people do once they get into a position of control. It takes a massive amount of control over your ego to be in a position of power and still be moral and ethical and kind and loving to be in a position of ultimate control like if you were in the cia or the you ran the nsa or something like

that to to be there and have compassion for all of brotherhood and all of all of mankind it's really hard to do it's really hard it's way easier to be a corrupt cunt and just sort of control shit sure but it is possible it is possible if it's possible for any one person to be moral and ethical and loving and kind and still be a powerful person still be a strong and accomplished person. It is possible to be that. So it's possible to run a government that's like that, too. It's just they have to understand what a massive position they're in instead of thinking, well, this is what makes life easier.

This is what makes our job easier. This is what makes it easier to clamp down on terror. Instead of looking at it that way, if they just looked at it literally in what is best for mankind. Yes. That's it, man. It can be done. Totally. It can be done.

And I think that even thinking along those lines helps to change the world. It sounds totally hokey, but I think that having this conversation and knowing this conversation is going to easily reach a million people, several million people probably, over the course of the next few months. This conversation is going to enter – it's going to be data that enters into certain people's minds.

And that's the kind of thoughts that we need. We need an understanding that, yes, government is important. Yes, police are important because people are imperfect and they need also to be protected from themselves they need to be stopped when they try to drunk-drive and they need to you know be we need someone who can protect people from people that are bullies and people that fuck up and look at their let their emotions take control themselves we absolutely need that but we also need a very strong moral backbone to this country that we're completely missing and

we need our eyes our mental eyes and our spiritual eyes moved in the direction of we need a philosophy yeah a story not just laws and also but there's also the the story of the government the narrative of the government the narrative of the government the narrative of the news the narrative of like uh media that's giving out information is inevitably a terrible catastrophic narrative and it will always be whenever you turn on the fucking news it's a disaster and i'm not just talking fucking frankenstorn i'm talking about oh god if you believe the news then you believe all pitbulls are evil you believe pit bulls have climbed out of some fucking volcano in hell and are just ravaging the world chewing the

faces off senior citizens if you believe the fucking news you believe that there's you would have believed the africanized bees were coming communists are attacking al-qaeda's marching into our streets to destroy us satanists are molesting our fucking kids, and that all politics is corrupt and evil and that the entire planet is on the verge of some ecological catastrophe. Well the real issue is that there's too many people. There's 300 million people in this country alone. You cannot concentrate in one hour on the news without getting an insane amount of negative shit because you're dealing with individual acts over 300 million people.

So this is exactly. So that's where they are directing the consciousness and the attention of all of humanity into these basically anomalies. And if you look at the amount of people right now and the small amount of catastrophe that's happening compared to how many of us there are, it a fucking miracle every day of course it's incredible we've talked about this a hundred times uh that you know this is a way safer time than there's ever been in human history yeah but when you look at people like trying to pass laws to take away

rights you would think that there's rioting in the streets and that the world is falling apart. So how do you, what's, what is that connection? Like, why is it that with this time where really, like, things have never been better for the human race, why is there still this overwhelming need to crack down further and further on rights and liberties and control the population more and more North Korea style? Why is that? Well, I mean, I think that you, it's a trite thing to say, but it's, you follow the money. And so I think that if you look and see that, you know, what is it? 48% of people in the prisons are just drug related offenses. If you see like the people who are making money off of these laws,

I mean, God knows how much money the fucking TSA makes selling their crazy gear that they have, you know, that's a big fucking business, you know? So I think it's just some people tend to profit off of the mass perception that we are existing in a sort of hell dimension. And there's people who've figured out a way to suckle at those black, satanic teats and extract money from it that they use for their own sense gratification, their own selfishness. And it's a tiny amount of people, really. Statistically speaking, if you look at the greater number of human beings in this country,

300 million people, how many of them are sucking the blood out of the earth? Is it even 1,000? Is it even 1,000 industrialists and bankers that are responsible for wielding that kind of power how many of them are masons duncan trussell they're all masons brother joe but here here but here's the thing man i i think that you know the stuff that we kind of hit upon when we have these conversations um i think that that kind of stuff is, if people's eyes start turning in the direction of the idea, as absurd and quixotic as it might sound, that you can, through a combination of discipline and visualization, create a positivity singularity

in your life where you, your very being and everything around you can like, almost like being in an elevator going up a few floors into paradise, that can happen. Where suddenly you discard like a snake shedding its skin, all the foulness of the fear calcifications that have formed around your life in the form of bad relationships, shitty friends, a negative outlook, you can like drop all that and suddenly experience some version of rebirth. You know, this is why the Christian idea of being born again is a beautiful notion. That's a crazy idea to play around with. The idea that you can renew and rejuvenate your life completely if you just let go of fear and turn your fucking eyes away from the ghost story that these hell buzzards are spoon feeding us so that they can sell droids and fucking Fords. And if you start turning away from that and putting your focus on this idea, you're not always going to be perfect.

I mean, you're not going to be suddenly in the Garden of Eden. The people who need to change their idea are the people that are actually doing that, not the people that are buying into it. It's way more important to have the people that are in control change their idea. So how the fuck do you get to the lizards? Well, to get to the fucking lizards, man, I think that what would have to happen would be an exponential shift in the consciousness and the predilections of the majority of people on earth

so that people start you know playing around with some some of this fucking awesome information that's floating out there and see if you can make yourself happy that's where it's there's a possibility of technology aiding in the evolution because if there comes a technology that allows data to be distributed probably wireless probably point to point inside something that's installed in a person's body like some sort of a chip that's installed in your body yeah and there'll be some sort of a wireless data network that's like an internet for human beings communicating with each other and you're going to be able to access the ones and zeros that make up your own fucking personality too and people are going to have yelp scores like you're going to meet someone you'll see like two stars over their head you're like oh

look at this asshole yeah they're going to be just like it's just going to be like rating restaurants on yelp you'll meet someone and as you look at them it'll cursor over them and you'll see stars and you can't resist that you're going to have to go through with that yes and when when that does happen then all the people in government are going to be like, fuck, I have zero stars? Like, I'm a cunt. They're going to be forced to recognize that. All the people around them are going to be forced to look at them.

And when the soldiers look at the generals and all these shitheads that are running the army, and they see zero stars over their head, and they realize how fucked up they are as human beings. Remember, Joe, it's the likest currencies. Remember Facebook book Likes a long time ago we talked about? Likes currencies? Remember when we said that Likes and Facebooks was going to be a currency in the future? Yeah, it could very well be,

but I think it'll definitely be a way to look at a person and get a read on who they are before you ever start. I mean, a person is directly, I mean, who you are is directly related to how other people feel about you when you're around. You know, that is a big part of who you are as a human, is how you interact with the rest of the species. Well, if there was like a rating system, like a Yelp for people like that, that you just saw when you met someone,

people would try oh so much fucking harder to be nicer. You know, they would try so much harder to fit in and they would feel the repercussions of having that zero stars over their head man when people are cunts if you really consider why people are cunts my theory on it is that they don't understand how important they are they think they're not important usually when someone's being a cunt it's easy to be a cunt. But it's because you're not. This is something. It's easy to lash out. When Hancock came on my podcast, he talked about ayahuasca and slurping ayahuasca. And how one of the effects was that it made you experience the way you made people throughout your life feel.

You know, like they talk about the life review when you go into the light and that shit. It's like they say that I've talked to people who've like died and come back and they say it's not that you like watch a video of your life it's that you literally see the way that you made the people around you feel you feel that you feel the way you made the people around you feel and i think that most people who are dicks they don't think they're important enough to induce any kind of feeling in the people around them. They don't even think that they're important enough to make someone feel like shit necessarily. I don't agree with that at all. I don't think that's what's going on at all.

I think they're just unhappy and they lash out. I think that's what being a dick is. It's a projection thing. They are trying to hurt people's feelings for sure. When someone's being an asshole, they want to have reaction just to to let them know that they're important i don't think that it's not that they don't feel like they're important i think their ego's out of control which is just the opposite of not feeling that they're important their importance is more important than anything else in the world that's why they're willing to lash out at people you know

man i like i don't want to think that way because i like but it's an ego issue i like that what i like here's what i like to think speaking like the note of the multiverse i want to exist in i want to exist in this note of the multiverse where underneath all that all the ego calcifications and all the shitty lashing out thing is just a super sweet person that happens to have been just walked out of some briny swamp that consists of their family their job their life their past whatever it is and they're still dripping with some of the oozing stagnation of being born in a bad incarnation and the way that that's manifesting is the form of their shitty activities but underneath that fucking thing like a mask it's

just a person who like had a run through a stinky swamp and needs to shower off. Well, how are they mutually exclusive? Because that's exactly what I'm saying. The person who lashes out, they're angry. The person who lashes out, they're trying to hurt people's feelings. It's not that they don't think they're worthwhile. It's that their ego is protecting them from their environment

because they've grown up in a hostile place. Well, okay. I'll make an obvious concession 100 of 100 of people certainly there is some percentage that pride has some like thinks they're fucking important and god knows you run into people are puffed up all day you do yeah but quite often man i think that that that puffed up thing underneath it they don't really think they're fucking i'm saying some people definitely think they're important but they don't really believe they're important yeah they don't really think they're worth something they don't really think they're fucking i'm saying some people definitely think they're important but they don't really believe they're important yeah they don't really think

they're worth something they don't really think that they're they're they're part of uh a web of life that that has value they just feel like they're fucking worthless shit bags and and and and so they put on a show see i think that what's going on primarily with people is that when you see people that are acting illogically and you see people that are angry with road rage, there's not a lot of consideration going on at all. And I think most of what they're operating on is momentum. So they're not really even thinking about whether they're worthwhile or not worthwhile. They're about ego. They're about reacting. They're about anger and frustration.

And they're about selfishness. And when you live a life, especially when you have a job that just sucks the fucking blood out of your body, literally sucks the inspiration out of your soul, you want to be selfish when you're done. I think that's a big part of road rage, a big part of people yelling. You don't even want to give someone a few seconds to get in front of you with the car you want to honk your horn and give them the finger because they made you wait a second or two i mean well you're having seat you're having ego it's a seizure you're having these kind of seizures and the way they're coming out isn't you being a dick yeah but you're just it's like a muscle spasms it's but it's all a fucking result of this kind of like you know unfortunate whatever the fucking thing that your past has

has happened in your past you're programming it so so it's like this i i will just love this fucking idea that this is called unconditional positive regard. Have you ever heard this term before? Unconditional positive regard. So it's this idea that if you can manifest around people a state of unconditional positive regard, it doesn't matter how they're acting, without judging them, just the sense, yeah, a lot of us came into this fucking dimension and are freaking the fuck out. A lot of us are rightfully freaking the fuck out. Some of us maybe we were freaking out when we shouldn't be, but if someone's freaking out, they're freaking the fuck out. Okay. So the way to handle that is to manifest

something called unconditional positive regard. This is a psychological theory. And so there was like, I can't remember the therapist's name, but you know, they would take kids who are like about to go to juvie or whatever from schools, and they would bring these kids to meet with them because he's a therapist. And these kids have been meeting with therapists their whole lives because they're fuck-ups. And so their experience has always been one of being in offices where someone's trying to change them, turn them into something different,

make them feel bad for the way they are, hammer some kind of ethical system into their brain, whatever. So this guy started doing this thing where he let the kids come into his office and he'd just sit there with them. There's like crayons, shit they can draw on. They would do their crazy shit, their little act outs and freak outs. But the whole time he was just trying to like be a person with them who wasn't judging them who wasn't looking down on them and thinking of them as monsters and so the effect of this these this shit that he did it's a whole i wish i could remember the name of it it's a whole goddamn type of therapy but the end result is these kids their grades started improving they started to become better people because they were in the presence of someone who was actively trying to like appreciate them as human beings well of course

look we can all agree that the number one problem with the society is the way human beings are raised human beings are raised by idiots raised in a a a really uncomfortable way where they never truly develop character, never truly develop a philosophy or a point of view that aids them in life. How many people go through life perfectly programmed? How many people go through life with a really positive experience of growing up? Very few.

That's the real issue because then those people become adults. They raise their own children and they try to correct as much as possible, but who knows how much of them has been fucked because of their childhood, and it continues on and on. What I was saying, even when we're talking about the people that run the world, that we need a philosophy for how human beings interact with each other, a code that's never broken, an agreement between all others. And that, to me, is the most important thing that the human race can establish. There is a way you can be successful

while having all those things, and that's what people don't understand. There's a lot of people that think that, well, you've got to do what you've got to do to make it in this world. No, you don't. That's not true. That's not necessary.

There's a lot of businesses that act totally, that's not necessary there's a lot of businesses that act totally completely ethically you know um there's a lot of businesses that get by without fucking people over you just do it the right way life can move in the right direction and we can still have success and prosperity it is a hundred percent fucking possible and the idea that the two things are mutually exclusive is a fucking dirty lie that's been told to you by crooks. And the world right now is run by those crooks. They are running the world. When you see all these different bills that are being passed that are slowly eroding the rights of American citizens and slowly taking away your liberties and slowly making it easier for them to spy on you, that is not someone looking out for your best interest. It just isn't.

They aren't looking out for the human race as a whole. They just aren't. That's not the right way to approach it. That is the way a shithead approaches it. And so it becomes very obvious that we need to overhaul the system that our country operates under, that the world operates under. Because right now it's operating under a shithead dictator system right and they don't need to be that way that's the real issue the real issue is they don't need to be that way they're they're that way because they're

incompetent they're that way because they're unhappy and you can't run the world like a cunt and still be a happy person you're just you're not going to have as much benefit even in your own life and our problem is we don't look at the world We don't look at our life. We don't look at our existence as you know, what is the most important thing? Well them but the abundance of happiness love, you know, no no we look at it as money We look at it as money is the number one most important thing and the most more of that you can accumulate the more you're correct Yeah, that's something that has to shift money is just simply a part of a good equation. And really, the money that you need to be happy is enough money so that you don't have to think about money.

That's it. It's an ironic thing. You want enough money so that you can eat and have a roof over your head and be able to enjoy the comforts of home, a nice couch, and normal shit. That is really the money that you need in this life to have happiness. Health. Yeah. And money to support health. Money to support nutrition.

Money to support shelter. And once you have that, that is everything. That is where real happiness comes from. Yeah. And if you don't have that, but yet you have millions and millions of dollars, you're sick. You've missed the point. Yeah. You've missed the most important part of the equation the most

important part of the equation is companionship friendship love happiness safety shelter community all of those things first yeah then more money i mean if you really can become some richard branson baller seems to have good karma and yet has a spaceship yeah you know i mean you have more power to you the guy seems to have good karma and yet still has these amazing but more important than anything is the first aspect of it so when you see someone who's fucking completely miserable and they're rich as shit and they're evil as fuck that's a huge disaster that's just a huge imbalance and a huge fuck up for them like they don't understand you got to give up some of that to achieve happiness and peace and love and friendship and community and it's still possible have you ever heard the term the higher taste have you ever heard that

term before no so the idea is that there's a connection take those glasses off you're freaking me out come on let me wear them man they're my waco glasses there's the idea that you can um connect now a lot of people don't like the word god so get rid of that fucking word but there's the idea that you can connect with a kind of infinite flow of energy this is the shit that tesla talked about this is the shit that a lot of people have come in contact with this fucking thing. And they have a lot of different words for this fucking thing. But the idea is that once you begin to connect with that thing or even flirt with the connection to that thing and figure out ways to like really establish that, when you begin to feel what that feels like, that sense of connection, that sense of being in the flow, being in harmony, that thing, you can't buy that feeling. There's no way money's ever going to buy that feeling. And it's a feeling

that makes any kind of, it makes everything else just seem like icing on the cake. And I think a lot of these people have just simply gotten disconnected. They're like a garden hose with a kink in it. They're not getting like an energetic flow they're eating plastic and have this kind of existential nutritional deficiency that manifests in the form of an outbreak of cuntiness and it's like it's mostly just because they haven't made that big fucking connection the connection people make through psychedelics the connection people make through chanting i really don't think that you can become a fully developed human being unless you have a series of events in your life, more than one, that break down your vision of the world and provide you with deeper insight.

It doesn't have to be psychedelics. It could be all sorts of different life experiences. It could be traveling. It could be meditation. It could be deep consideration for the world and a constant overview and a constant audit of your thoughts and the way you interact with people and your happiness

and where it comes from. I think all of that, all of those are possibilities. Those are all, there's different ways to achieve the same effect. Fuck yes. But unless you do have those things

you're going to be a child you're going to die an old child yep you're really never going to understand that you you've been tricked by your own ego you've been tricked by your own ego first of all into thinking that this is somehow another permanent it is unquestionably a temporary experience you got to enjoy the shit out of it you got to have as much fun as you can while it's going on but you better be treating it like what it is because it's fucking temporary and you're leaving behind a wake and a ripple of shit that is gonna go from from you on to your ancestors and your shitty kids that you've raised and and all the other different people that you've impacted in your life you've created a horrible ripple of shit because you're imbalanced right yeah but they don't have to be they don't have to be that's the thing if all these fucking you know these guys that are in secret societies

and skull and bones and shit if they all just drop the bullshit stop being pussies and took mushrooms the whole picture would change immediately. You would have, look at, and folks, this is not, you know, I'm not making this up. Look at John Hopkins University studies on psilocybin use and what would happen to people with one psilocybin experience over the course of a couple of years, their personalities change for the better. These pussies, they need to stop dressing up like fucking eyes wide shut and boning each other in the ass and videotaping and holding each other hostage with the information instead of doing

it that way they need to get together and do some fucking mushrooms but man it's it's it's such an important thing to make this connection however you do it mckenna was really into mushrooms because it was an expeditious way to do it and he had he was a believer in 2012 and the idea of some kind of eschatological event that was going to wipe us all out. So we got to move quick. Ram Dass is like... He actually didn't believe that. His idea was ultimate novelty. But he seemed to be in a rush.

His thing was like, you're not going to get people to like... This transformation in society you're talking about he maybe fairly recognized that like let's make this shit happen fast and the fastest way to do it would be to get everyone or as many people as possible to experience the psychedelic state and bring that into the world through our action well no he he he didn't really believe in the end of the world for 2012 that's what i'm saying he thought it was going to be a time machine he thought it was going to be some some moment of ultimate novelty that it was going to be a technological thing right right yeah i guess when i say the end of the world i mean like his idea was more of a positive end of the world scenario but still a apocalypse lifting of the

veil transformation of the old ways into some complete complete moment of novelty and like he was into like the reason i'm just trying to get to novelty and like he was into like the reason i'm just trying to get to the point that he liked to like he placed mushrooms over meditation where there's other people who say um you know the problem with the psychedelic experience is that it gets you there and it gets you there quick but you got to come back out of that and the idea is to like how can we be in that state of consciousness not like the walls are melting but in that state of connectivity all the time well we know a lot of people that have had a series of these psychedelic experiences and they're still really selfish.

Exactly. We know this one guy is very angry. He's had a lot of mushroom experiences. I mean, a ton. Writes books on it. He's an angry motherfucker. Contrary to the vision of the plant itself, the fungus itself.

Right, because it's a teacher. It's just like any other teacher. It's a class. You can ignore it. And also, if if you got some weird social issues and psychological issues you can start having grandiose ideas based on psychedelic experiences like i've talked to people that had psychedelic experiences and believe that like there's a whole team of beings out there that are looking out for them and that helping them succeed and like succeed for what like what is what's the end goal like what are you talking

about like right you really believe that it's like they've chosen to like look at only a fraction of the information that's being displayed succeed see this is that's brilliant dude because that's the thing is like with meditation uh sometimes i'll go into meditation with a point like i'm trying to get something i'm trying to do something i'm trying to get something. I'm trying to do something. I'm trying to get like, my mind wants there to be a result, like, you know, some kind of like metaphysical tricep development or something through meditation, because we've been taught to be completely a result oriented, to live a result oriented life. And the paradox of meditation is the idea is like, no, no, no, you don't get anything out of this. This isn't the, it's entering into a mind state where you're no longer constantly in the pursuit of the future.

You're no longer always chasing whatever the thing is that you think is the moment in the future. You are coming into where you are at this very moment, wherever the fuck you happen to be, you know, fucking lotion all over your day because you just jerked off to porn or fucking with beer cans all over your fucking house or wherever you are. You get into that moment and become that thing. And the paradox of being fully in that thing is that your situations and conditions will begin to transform because that's where the real like healing starts happening. The real transformation doesn't start with a fucking beating yourself up. It starts with a sense of like, all right, hold on.

Okay. Entry into this dimension created a form of weird amnesia. I apparently have developed the fucking personality of a supreme cunt. I've got some weird fucking hangover that came from my incarnation in this dimension. I'm going to shake off this hangover. And the way I'm going to shake it off is by fully understanding where i'm at right now it's a paradox man it's something that's like a really strange thing because to get to a place where you aren't such a cunt and where you aren't trapped you need to first understand that what your prison cell is like isn't it fascinating when you see like these wall street guys like i read about another one the other day who's uh realized that his fund had

lost hundreds of millions of dollars and so he committed suicide yes exactly dude it's just like full strange numbers yeah these abstract numbers that are part of this game and he realized that the game was over wife kids the whole deal children he had children did you see did you see the fucking guy who burned his house down and took a cyanide pill in court you see that video yes holy shit dude he's like fucking that's it man he pressed reset because he's going to jail but like he was going to jail for a long time so he decided to take that cyanide pill right in front of everybody yeah man cyanide dude fucking i looked up how that shit kills you it's goddamn crazy dude he just sat there

yeah the pill and just sat there he started snoring yeah and then his body just started giving up and then he collapsed like call call call hospital call 9-1-1 yeah he's down down moaning because this is the problem man this is like fucking you know it's so funny how the bible's rife with like really great information but if you take it literally it's retarded but the bible's always like the god of the bible's always against false idols and it's always saying you know don't worship false idols if you worship false idols you're fucked and people like that you know they started this crazy worship of uh bullshit and the end result is you end up in a pretty fucking crappy uh uh

extinction event so how does this all play out because this is all just assuming that the world is real now we're we're assuming that the world is some sort of a computer simulation and by the way this keeps coming to me even britney palmer sent me a tweet the other day about computer simulation code very bright girl by the way even though she's a ring card girl it's fucking badass yeah it's it's fascinating there's a ring card girl there's a ring card girl that's into simulation theory britney palmer's a badass bitch jesus very cool chick that's jesus she's the incarnation of jesus yeah her uh her uh boyfriend's into it too apparently because he sent all he sent a link to me for me to read. Yeah.

What? Oh, the boyfriend part? The boyfriend thing. Yeah, it's really great for a while. My ear shit. Handsome fella. Handsome. Very successful.

You're fucked. You're not getting in there, kid. But that idea, though, the simulation theory is going around the world. A lot of people are looking at it. And one of the reasons, one of the real big ones that sort of catapulted it was when uh this guy dr gates uh has found hidden error correction codes hidden in the equations of supersymmetry it's really really hard to wrap your head around but in his words um they had found the presence of codes in the equations of physics. Not that they were trying to compute something. And the way he describes it says it's a little bit like doing biology,

where if you studied an animal, you'd eventually run into its DNA. And that's essentially what's happened to us. These codes that we found, they're like the DNA that sits inside of the equations that we study. So, yeah, do we live in the matrix? Yeah. Yeah. Well, man, it's a blast i mean the reason it's fucking cool is it because it's a um it's a new ver it's a new version of a very old idea that's being told using the current uh state-of-the-art uh language that we have today but this idea of

the universe being a computer simulation the maya as they call in india which means illusion this is a very old fucking idea well john um john wheeler john archibald wheeler was an american theoretical physicist who was largely responsible according to uh the the bio the biograph um the biography on him largely responsible for reviving interest in general relativity in the united states after world war ii and one of the things that dr gates had said was that he thought that wheeler was crazy and he believes that this experience you know studying this computer code and finding out that there's code in supersymmetry he says if you study physics

long enough you might become crazy and that like, if you delve deep into the heart of matter, if you really get to the nitty-gritty of what life really is, it's undeniable that it's some sort of a code. It's undeniable that it is some sort. I wouldn't say it's a computer simulation, because the term simulation, like, I joke around about the fact that I believe that human beings are living in some video game in the future and that we really look like the aliens and that that's but what i really think might be going on is that the the reality as it as it stands has

many more elements to it than just things you can hit and knock on with your knuckles things you could beat with a hammer or throw water on i think there's a lot more than the solid physical matter of the universe that we're not totally taking into consideration. And I always bring up the idea of the imagination, that we look at the imagination as, when I was a kid, you know, oh, he's got such a vivid imagination, because I would lie about shit, you know, draw pictures and make up things but what the imagination really is is this this hail of ideas in your mind that if followed through manifest physical things in this reality so it's not simply just this airy fairy woo woo thing that's like this non-important

intangible aspect of life no it's the creator of everything it's the root behind the creation of every single physical thing from nuclear power plants to guns to fucking cat clocks all that shit is created by the imagination it's a piece of all that shit it's a laboratory it's an alchemical laboratory that exists in your mind. And that's one aspect. And another aspect is the exact vibration you put out there. The love that you put out there. The friendship that you put out there. The happiness that you bring to people.

Look, we're experiencing it in a together pushing this happy, positive vibe out there and then having all these happy, positive people come to the shows and experiencing a direct result of this creating this way of thinking where people are coming up to us on a daily fucking basis. Last night at the Laugh Factory, a bunch of dudes came up to me and said the same thing you're changing my life you changed my life changed the way i look at things changed the way i'm like happier now i was going through a bad breakup i was fat i lost weight i got healthy it's all the same thought re-repeating itself over and over and over again and that thought is that you're putting out a positive thing and positive results are being accumulated because of this transmission. That's right, man. And earlier you were talking about this being technologically enhanced.

Well, it is technologically enhanced. This is it. This is it. You're using a technological amplifier to blast positive energy out into the world and it's exponentially increasing the positivity that just starts in this room with a couple of microphones and that creates big fucking shifts and not just positive energy but a positive philosophy that you can use you can actually apply and get direct results it will inspire you and you can apply it also a philosophy that is being is open source in the sense that the people you're blasting it out to at least my experience has been some of these people email you shit you've never heard before books you've never heard before and then that gets added to it applied to it and woven into

this fucking awesome thing which is essentially just like a internet salon it's a kind of salon in the old idea of what it was which is where a group of people would get together and talk about philosophy well it's where the what twitter comes into play is the ability to exchange links in the short form where you're going to read them people send me emails jesus christ some of you crazy fucks that send me these 17-page emails on your whole life story. Oh, yeah. No one's reading that. You can't read those.

Stop it. Stop being fucking crazy. But if you send me some shit about self-healing concrete. Yes, that gets read. Did you read that? Yeah, it's amazing. Self-healing concrete. Go piss, dude.

There's some shit called self-repairing bio concrete that's made out of bacteria i mean it's like every day it's getting weirder and weirder and weirder and it just does not seem to be ending man it's all going on while we're not even paying attention well you're just doing your everyday thing they're they're constantly coming up with new crazier and crazier shit. And this stuff is called, it's bacterial spores that are added to the concrete mix, and they're activated by water. And this experimental concrete, it patches up cracks by itself.

I mean, this is fucking bananas, man. It's going to start growing feelings in the future. Yeah. It's going to be like we can't drive on the road because it hurts it Well, wouldn't it be crazy if your house became like something you could talk to? Hey, I'm home And you like touch the walls and it's like happy to see you and shit I mean that doesn't seem outside the realm of possibility go into the attic once in a while Let the house know what's his boss? Yeah, fuck it

Fuck its brain in the attic Well when you when you stop and think about it like if we do come up with smart computers what if one of the things that we do is make your whole house like a living network crazy yeah like you come home and your house like literally like it it feeds off of your positive feelings like your house is like is it cold enough for you is it warm enough for you would you like the lights on and you look can you turn on channel 20 yeah 20 ding dong home shopping network you know you could do whatever the fuck you want through through communicating with your house you tell it when to turn the lights on tell when to

turn the lights on that's all coming your house is going to be like one giant computer you're not even going to reach for the faucet you're going to say turn the hot water on and then if you had like an asian fetish you'd buy like an asian themed type looking house or if you like that you know like western girl or southern girls have like a ranch yeah your house could be like really like a muted right japanese lady that's super polite and shy yeah hi hi hi yeah you could your house could talk to you i mean it could have a voice do you remember when you it's a true story. Brian was dating this chick, and she got jealous of his navigation system

because it was a hot girl's voice. Yeah. She made me change it to a guy, so I'd choose the British guy, but then I acted like I was gay for him every time he talked to me. Isn't that hilarious that someone could actually be jealous

of the navigation system's voice? That's when you know you've got a rock-solid relationship. When your chick is upset at the navigation system's voice. That's when you know you've got a rock-solid relationship. When your chick is upset at the navigation system. Who's this fucking whore telling us where to go? Tell us where the day is. Turn left here. Like, ew, I hate this girl's voice.

Ew. Fake computer. What was even better, it was like a TomTom, and with TomToms you can download celebrity voices. So I started dating, it was like Cameron Diaz or something like that but you can do that yeah you could do yoda like oh did you guys hear about fucking star wars getting bought by disney yes that's ridiculous what do you think that's good or bad um well look let's be honest the last star wars movies sucked a fat one yeah they all sucked they sucked and ari was saying that you know we're just

in denial that if you go back and try to watch star wars it sucked too and i say it didn't suck because it only sucks today if you compare it to the movies of today but if you go back to the when star wars was released it was groundbreaking man there's no denying it's like saying that if you go back and listen to lenny Bruce, you won't laugh. It doesn't matter. It's still super groundbreaking. Have you seen the video of the pre-voiceover Darth Vader? No.

The guy who did Darth Vader's voice before Morgan Freeman did it? I'm your father. It's fucking awesome. Who wasn't Morgan Freeman? Not Morgan Freeman. Fuck. Wow, that's racist. The other guy.

The black guy. They both have awesome voices. Yeah, who was it? The guy who did, he was in Thulsa Doom in Conan, too. What the fuck's his name? Does those commercials? Does a lot of commercials. What the fuck's his name?

Earl Jones. James Earl Jones. That guy, yeah. But if you go back and watch those Star Wars movies like there was a couple of good ones they were decent they were great for the time but the new ones are fucking terrible man they're just terrible it's like george lucas like lost his connection it's it's it's really it sucks it's like the guy needs to do squats and run some hill squats is not gonna make star wars he's got a he's got like no life to him there's no passion there there's no fire there's no there's no there's no real threat

it's just all just mush it's just mushy mush stupidity i just hope like they don't have like jar jar banks like disney's like no we're gonna reinvent jar jar he's gonna be a vampire this time yeah he's gonna have a sexy kid Bank's like, what the fuck was that? That's like just taking an Ewok and just removing everything that's good about it and adding more stupidity. And what's even creepier is when they changed it. They just re-released all the Star Wars on Blu-ray, and I guess they did all these things like making the Ewoks blink now

because they didn't used to blink, I guess. I don't remember. But now that's even creepier because now you know that's fake yeah you know that they fakes fix that did you see the dark crystal yes i fucking love that shit man my favorite movies yeah good movie and that's another movie i bet ari would say like yeah you watch it now it sucks i'm like no it's still you remember it as a child you grew up with that movie it's like a classic there's a lot of good movies that are still good i think these man i don't keep meaning to go back to this hippie shit but i guess i will for the rest of my life i swear man i think

these movies all came because people were taking acid and mushrooms and like tripping out and like and and really going for it i think that's what those movies came from, is a psychedelic, bringing something back from the psychedelic universe, and then using art as the kind of clothes that you drape around this hyper-dimensional form. I think that's the fucking job, man. You go out into that place, and you try to bring back the crazy shit

that you catch there. It's like hunting trips into alternate dimensions. But instead of catching animals, you're catching thoughts, and you're bringing them back, and then you're trying to bring them to life by putting them in some form, pouring them into the mold of your music, your movie, your book, whatever the thing is. Like what Alex Gray does, for example.

Yeah, he really does that he's better than anybody of capturing that dimension and bringing it back to reality yeah he's what a beautiful guy that guy is too like hanging out with him was so intense he's just so so crackling with like positivity and love and no matter what i was shit on he would find a way to like look at the bright side of it ah that's cool i was shitting all the fat people at disneyland on scooters and he's like talking about how great it is that disneyland is like homeless except or uh you know uh accessible for wheelchair i love people like that dude those people are the best this guy ragu ragu marcus who i have on my podcast he's like uh helps run the love server member foundation, which is Ram Dass' foundation.

Like, he has a, they have a podcast now called Mind Rolling, and it's him and his friend, and these guys, man, they're so fucking cool. And I was on the podcast, and we were talking about, I'd work myself up into a real hippie lather over fucking, like, people dying in war, and the drones. I was really mad and really spewing. Like it was coming from anger. And it's like, these are people they're killing. And like the way they dealt with that blast of negativity was super cool. Cause it wasn't like you shouldn't be negative. It was like, but hold on. Think about how angry you are right now. Think about the mind state that you're in right now. Think about where you're at right now. You have now created a fucking division.

You are no longer in a state of unit of consciousness. You've now cut, you've parsed the universe and you have done the exact same thing that causes war to happen. The exact same thing that causes conflict is this, the way that the mind tends to create the good guys the bad guys uh uh the the evil forces and the good forces right now we've got al-qaeda used to be the communists before it was the fucking communists it used to be the fucking uh british before was you know what i mean there's always a an in or the nazis there's always that paradigm right there's that setup of the enemy and the good and the bad and the paradox of that game is that you inevitably continue the very fucking thing that you so dreadfully want to stop. And that's the problem.

Right. In creating that conflict and attacking, you automatically create a war. And you automatically give someone something to fight for. And these people like Alex fucking Gray or Raghu Marcus or Ram Dass, that's what they... They're re-diverting it and making things always positive. They're trying. And that's alchemy, man.

It's amazing. But, by the way, there's no comedy in that. You've got to be able to shit on fat people's scooters. Oh, you do. That's true. You still need to see that South Park, Joe. That was all about that. Scooters?

Yeah, I do. There's about a thousand South Parks I really need to see still. But, dude, you need to start to load up your iphone you know yeah i need what i need to do is uh just like next trip i go on just blow the ipad up with like all the best episodes is there a greatest hits of south park yeah there is but the the best ones it's just like uh just you could download like the season and the last five even i've just forced myself recently to start watching stand-ups like watching comedy again and you know there's a lot of bad stand-up out there man but i i rarely

watch comedy these days like on television i don't watch sitcoms i rarely watch that's why i don't watch south park it's like i love south park but when i'm alone i don't go to comedy i almost always go to like science i almost always go to like science i almost always go to discovery channel shit or you know weird things about volcanoes or oceans or you know any biology type shit and then retard stuff like you know like my my comedy yeah my comedy isn't like bigfoot or swamp people that's my new show swamp people have you seen that yeah dude you gotta watch swamp people these are the folks who hunt crocodiles yeah alligators and you can't hunt crocodiles in america we're trying to revive them duncan because it's important to bring the most

ruthless and fucking aggressive lizard bring them back to a healthy breeding population so we have to worry about at least some downtown in downtown la a dog just got snatched off a bridge in miami six foot off the water this fucking crocodile jumps up and grabs a dog just got snatched off a bridge in miami six foot off the water this fucking crocodile jumps up and grabs a dog and pulls it into water for a death roll fucking dog a labrador i think that sucks those death rolls suck that video the guy puts his hand in the alligator's mouth did you see that of course you've seen that probably a million times i'll say crocodile those are crocodiles alligator is it i don't? I don't know. Crocodiles are much more aggressive. What's the difference?

They're bigger, more aggressive, more dangerous. It's like the difference between a poodle and a pit bull. You know what's cool though, man? The good thing? It's interesting how not all animals learn to swarm. Like only bees swarm. Alligators and crocodiles they'll like, if you throw meat into where they're at

they'll eat it. But there's not like organized swarms of alligators that would change the fucking game no they would if they're hungry if they're hungry and something goes in the water like when a wildebeest or an antelope gets jacked they all rip it apart yeah but they're not like wolves they don't hunt they can't like they don't stalk animals there's not like they have a way better setup they hold their breath for hours underwater in muddy water they just stay put and then they explode out of nowhere when you have to come and drink because there's only one waterhole like crocodiles are way better than wolves oh please they're in africa they're in africa where there's a fucking million animals and they all have to come to this waterhole this is the end of our friendship 28 foot long dinosaurs that

haven't changed in over 200 million years are waiting, holding their breath for hours. Oh, and by the way, they don't have to eat for a year. Sorry, man. Wolves are better than alligators. Fuck! You need a wolf hat on. How dare you, man?

Duncan has a wolf hat on. I just realized I'm wearing a wolf hat and defending wolves. Next topic, please. I didn't realize that was happening. A wolf spirit hat. I'm sticking up for the wolves. Next topic, please. I didn't realize that was happening. A wolf spirit hat. I'm sticking up for the wolves, man. That's right. We got to protect them, bro. Brian, pull up the video of a wolf killing, wolves killing a coyote.

Put on your wig, Duncan. It's pretty funny. The wig doesn't work that good. Isn't it funny that there's a certain amount of shit you could wear in your daily life that they'll allow you to wear that's a costume outside of being dressed up for Halloween? You can wear a toupee. Yes. That is not your fucking hair, but you can wear a toupee.

Sure. But you can't wear a fake mustache. Nope. What was what? If you wear a big fake mustache to try to go through security, they'll go, sir, you take the mustache off, please. You're like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm really insecure about my lack of a mustache. I used to have a mustache, but my hair fell out of my upper lip.

So now I have a toupee mustache. That is weird. You got to take your hat off when you go through TSA, but you don't have to take off your toupee. Yeah. What if you had a merkin and uh they were like there's something showing up in your crotch like yeah nothing it's nothing like uh what's going on can you please uh unzip your pants you have this giant jufro down your crotch because you've just always been really insecure about not having any pubic hair so you just glue just this

patch of fucking doom and everything is bone bone dry. Your balls are bone dry. Your dick's bone dry. Not hair on your dick. I have like stray hairs that are growing out halfway up my dick every now and then. I got to pluck them out. Oh, you pluck them?

Pluck them, rip them right out of their fucking roots. Out of their roots. My pubes are ridiculous. If I let them grow, it's a fucking jungle down there. But some dudes, they don't have that.

So they just, they have a merkin. And you go through security. Do you think they let you keep that merkin? No, you've got to strip it. There's probably a bucket of them. There's probably a dog that will snatch it off, bite you, bite your cock, pull that merkin off.

You could have a bomb loaded up merkin. I've never even heard the term merkin. Merkin sweat? You ever taste it? What's a merkin? I think it's like a fake pubic hair beard. It's a fake bush. But for what reason?

No, hold on it's because a lot of girls I thought you were awake making that up there's no such thing oh yeah yeah there is there's two things

like if you get a lot of girls get their shit lasered off so they want once in a while they want to have you know like

a bush and then they also have like strippers or like chicks there's no muff wigs that's not that's not when it was invented it was invented

a long time ago. It was to combat pubic lice. Yeah. The people, they're originally worn by prostitutes after shaving their genitalia. They're now used as decorative items in erotic devices or in films.

Yeah, it was in the 1450s. Jesus. It was... Women shaved their hair and they wore a merkin in the 1400s to combat pubic lice. And prostitutes would wear them to cover up signs of disease such as syphilis. So they have a big fucking wig over their syphilis. Hey, if your fucking prostitute is wearing a pussy wig, you should be suspicious.

Do you think people went raw dog with prostitutes back then? Yeah. It's like a bathroom rug. After a while, she has an back then? Yeah. It's like a bathroom rug. You know, after a while, she has an old merkin on. It's like a bathroom rug. It's just all fucking mildew. In Hollywood filmmaking, merkins are worn by actors and actresses to prevent inadvertent exposure of the genitalia during nude or semi-nude scenes.

If a merkin were not worn, it would be necessary to restrict the shot to exclude the genital area dude have you ever heard of the way they shoot sex scenes how they bring the boyfriends in have we already talked about this oh and the guy watches the guy watches so like if you're doesn't that isn't that suck listen you can't have someone have a fake sex scene with someone that's hot they're gonna get hard they're gonna want i had a friend who did a fake sex scene in some terrible movie and the girl goes you can fuck me if you want the girl actually said that he's like i don't think i can he didn't know what to say but he's on top of like fake thrusting into her asshole with his flaccid penis can you fucking imagine being like someone's

husband and sitting and watching them get fucked by bruce willis in some dark room fuck bruce willis how about like yeah i don't know how about like the rock looper was great the rock is just like giant tattooed chest is sweating into your wife's mouth as he's fake pumping her with her legs over her head fucking her in a way you could never possibly do with your lift frame and your jogger's body big giant fucking samoan tribal tattoos on his roided up chest and he's just pumping his giant semi-hard cock on the outside of your wife's pussy and you know deep inside she's just slippery and gliding and she's all she wished she would just shove it in i don't care who's watching.

And you're sitting there, is this over? Have you got enough takes of this? Are we done here? Are we done here? Plus the side. Enough. What if it was Louis Anderson? I'm going to get that, your wife's pussy.

And you have to watch somebody gross. Big fucking job of the hot looking sloppy dude eating a fucking hot dog while he bones your wife sideways glances he's got to pick your his gut up like an underhook like a deep like a chimp remember those chimps in the buckets where they would have that uh that would be like how their paws would connect you would play that game with the plastic chimps well he's got to take his hand in sort of that position to just suck up the gut and pull it up so his short, semi-hard penis can even get inside your woman. And the stink wafting out of that flap is like a homeless dude just took off his boot.

Just a combination of the L.A. River after a flood and shit rolling and water and fucking – what is it? What is tepid water? No, what is it what is what is uh what tepid water no what is in water when it's stagnant stagnant water and shit and old loads old loads in there just old briny old fucking loads and his cum comes out like snot when you have the flu just yellow you know how you blow your nose when you have the flu and it comes out all yellow? That's how his loads look. It's like the death sneeze of someone with malaria. It's like your last sneeze. Inside of a Boston cream donut, that yellow custard. Oh, fuck.

Except it's not as smooth and delicious looking. Yeah, a little congealed. A little cottage cheesy. And it burns. And it burns, yeah. It stings. And it stings your eyes, too. You have to run to the bathroom, and if you get it on your eyes, you'll start crying.

It smells onion-y. It's like fumes coming out from an old onion. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and I didn't tell him this because his breath was so bad, I literally thought he shit himself. And I didn't know how to, I just i was too high to to uh to break it down and he was sober and i was like oh my god i can't talk to you and he it's so true like people who have shitty breath want to tell you these fucking long stupid stories and he wanted to tell me this long story and it was just like like prisoners had been farting in his mouth you know it was just

it was just like like he had held his mouth open and every fucking prisoner in cell block D just farted in his mouth. It was so bad. I literally thought he shit his pants. It was horrible. It's not me, is it? No, it's not you. I would tell you. It is weird, isn't it?

But it is weird how bad breath is almost like a demonic force that possesses people and compels them to tell the longest most boring stories it is weird how people with bad breath want to tell you fucking stories what it's a strange thing but it's weird to people i want people to tell me about my bad breath if i have bad breath please tell me because i know i have it especially if i do like a long show you know like you do a show and you're talking for an hour and a half your breath must be gross yeah you're not drinking any i mean you drink like a little water here and there but you're not like refreshing your mouth it's like stomach acids it's probably disgusting tell me but i wouldn't tell him you know why some people get handling some people get all butthurt remember when he went through that brief

phase where you were like i'm not wearing deodorant. It's the smell of a man. And you were going everywhere. It's stinking. What the fuck was so bad about it? Well, I thought that, first of all, deodorant, I thought it was bad for you. And it is bad. But I decided that if you get cancer from deodorant, you're a fucking pussy.

That's what I think. That's how I feel. Yeah, I stopped wearing deodorant for a little while. I just washed myself. It's awful. I'm way too funky. And I eat too much too much meat man i'm too much of a predator so you smell my armpits like yeah man do you think do you think that like that's why deer run from you by the way do you think if you only like if you lived on some kind of like forest saint diet and you only ate like you would smell different

honey and fucking flowers and you were you know like you think you'd stop stinking oh yeah 100 yeah part of what you're smelling is like uric acid and all sorts of different shit that comes through your pores that comes directly as a result a lot of the smells come directly as a result of eating meat in fact um that's one of the things that deer freak out about when when deer are then they catch you in their nose and they run away that that's like when they run away that that's like when they run away the quickest when we were hunting when the wind would come off of you and go towards the deer they would and they would go i'm getting the fuck out of here there was no mistake

in their mind that you were a predator right you smell like a meat eater yeah that's uh i think there's a there's a there's a smell like vegans have a very different smell than people who eat a lot of meat. If you eat, like, a lot of steak and burgers and shit, you definitely develop a different smell. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, 100%, man. You know, your shit smells different. Jesus Christ. When I drank nothing but kale shakes for a couple days, my shit doesn't smell bad at all.

It goes right through me. It smells like pineapples. And I flush this giant green pineapple smoothie out of my ass. But it doesn't smell bad at all it goes right through me it smells like pineapples and i flushed this giant green pineapple smoothie out of my ass but it doesn't smell bad at all right you're uh when you're eating a lot of meat man you're breaking down a lot of shit look man i'll tell you the recipe for some pretty awful dumps if you want to know out there yeah fucking i got mine too we should share let's make a cookbook a poop book booze is important oysters oysters

oysters will oysters think about what that is oysters are like the phlegm of the ocean it's like they're just like these already

mucusy things like oysters destroy destroy me I can't do it anymore Starbucks destroys me one of these coffees every time I'm like

halfway through it I just have to run it's a colon cleaner I just have to run. It's a colon cleaner. Yeah. I have to go again, I think. There's nothing like the kale shake, though, for cleaning the colon out. Kale shakes are ridiculous.

You can't even hold it in. Have you ever gotten a colonic? No. I've heard it's awesome, though. I've gotten one. I've also heard that it's not good for you. I've heard conflicting things. Penn & Teller. I've heard it's good for you.

It's not good. What did Penn & Teller say? They said it's bullshit. See,. What did Penn & Teller say? They said it's bullshit. See, the problem with Penn & Teller is Penn & Teller also said that yoga is bullshit. Yoga is not bullshit. Yoga gets you high. And the only reason why anybody would say that yoga is bullshit

is because they're out of shape and they're not in tune with their body. We need to get Penn on this podcast. Yeah, they're not in shape, they're not in tune with their body, and they don't understand that you are releasing tension and you're creating a different state of consciousness when you do yoga yoga definitely gets you high there's no question about it and anybody who says it doesn't you're you're too out of shape to appreciate it that's all it is i've i've had like real legitimate like life-changing experiences after yoga where i've really sat down and and you know when i say life-changing i mean like in degrees left right forward you know there's like certain times

where i've had experiences in my life that were literally life-changing because i sat down and that extra inspiration that i got from that moment that extra positivity that extra clarity that i got moved me in a percentage of a point in one direction. And it's almost always towards the good. I've had that from yoga. No question about it. And it's not just because I chose to have it. It's also because those techniques of all that stretching and all those things release tension from the body. And the way your body carries around tension directly affects the way your mind works.

Directly. Fuck yeah. Directly affects how you interact with people. Like true yoga people, the real yoga people, are fascinating to be around, man. They're really cool and calm. There was this dude from South Africa I used to take yoga with. He was so real, man. He was the real deal, man.

Yeah. There's a lot of those fake yoga guys that try to like fuck chicks and you know they try to like be fake spiritual and they sing like indian songs you know that they memorize just to fucking impress people with their their their hindu street cred you know what i mean you know that kind of fake sure i've seen them giving massages at raves yeah yeah they're yeah exactly with their dirty birkenstocks on and saying, Namaste. Get out of here, bitch. Don't you namaste me, you son of a bitch.

I know what you're up to. Because the people who really practice that shit, man, they don't act like that at all. At all. None of it's there. It's a whole different fucking animal to the point where it can be shocking because you kind of expect people to be a certain way. This is a funny thing.

This is like one of the fun thought experiment you can do is right now, maybe you don't, but right now in a lot of people's minds, they already have this idea of what an enlightened person should act like. You already have that idea. Here's what they might be like. Your mind will try to create an idea of what enlightenment looks like. And that idea is always wrong. It's never like that at all. This is that saying,

if you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him. That's the idea, which is like anything in your mind that's kind of defining the way you think an advanced person should be creates a real big problem because you'll start pretending to be that way. know you start putting on a costume or a show but yeah most of those folks you run into are the real deal man they just like they're just totally in the fucking moment it's just they'll go with anything it's really hard to be the real deal but real do you roll the real world no the world barely how do you say world world world no you shouldn't say that world it's the best thing in the world. World.

World. World. He doesn't say world. He says world. World. W-R-O-L-D. World. World.

There you go. White Castle's awesome. It's the best place in the world. Shut the fuck up. Please shut the fuck up. He's changed from supporting Olive Garden. Now he's changed to White Castle. Well, well.

It is fucking good. Yeah. If you're really drunk, it's delicious. It's great. It's biscuits for drunk people. It's gray meat. In the future,

I may make my own White Castle, but it's going to be Red Castle for Los Angeles. What we need is Fuddruckers to back us up and you get those fucking ostrich burgers. You ever get a raw,

or rare, rather, ostrich burger at Fuddruckers? No. Oh, goddamn, son, that shit is good. We could have that at Red Castle. Ostriches are cunts, too. They're birds, and birds are dinosaurs, and all dinosaurs can go fuck themselves. That's a terrible shame of logic. I will eat the shit out of an ostrich.

I will eat the shit out of an ostrich. I will Kimura an ostrich's neck and kill it and eat the shit out of it. When I was living in Asheville, their necks are perfect for strangling. I bet you can't even guillotine them though. I bet their necks just go right with it. I bet they can peck the fuck out of you. Peck your dick while you're trying to guillotine them.

Peck a concussion into your head. I used to be so poor when I was living in Asheville that I would go to Fuddruckers and order a bun and just like eat the lettuce and the tomatoes and the onions from the fucking hamburger bar. Dude, and you had cheese. You had everything. You could make a grilled cheese sandwich out of relish and pickles and stuff. Yeah, you could just make a shitty salad with bread.

Yeah. Incredible. Asheville, North Carolina is one of the last great spots on earth. Yeah, it's pretty great. I almost didn't want to tell people about it. When we got back, we were wandering and walking around on the streets. I was like, this is one of those places where you could walk around the streets, and it's small.

It's a small town, but it had all these bars. You can walk from bar to bar, and people were friendly. And I was like, whoa, Duncan, this is a crazy place we're in like one of the last great places on earth yep asheville north carolina is one of the last great places on earth we walked to a kava bar okay there's bars everywhere and nice people and yeah sure there's a few drum circles and there's a few fucking hippies sitting on the ground on the sidewalk there's a little of that i'm gonna just fucking just fucking say this, and I know, forgive me for saying it, but drum circles are fun.

Just fucking go to one. It's fun. You get to bang on a drum. It's fun. It's, like, awesome. They never smell good, though. No. No one's ever accused a drum circle of smelling great.

But they're fucking fun. They're fun. Do you like the smell of sage no it's the worst smell ever right i don't like that smell it's horrible yeah sage it smells good when you're walking through it when you're outside but you can't escape it it's horrible when it's on fire that's when they burn sage spirits and shit when i was a kid my mom burned sage in my room because she thought i'd summoned a demon. Well, you know, salvia is sage.

Salvia divinorum is sage. That's why I thought it smelled like salvia the other day. It smells like flashbacks. Salvia, I don't know if that sage is psychoactive.

Hmm. I should find out because if it's true, you could just find sage and smoke it. Yeah, I went to the Day of the Dead at the Hollywood

Forever Cemetery. When was that? Friday. And it was the worst experience ever it was so crowded there was one point you couldn't move any direction i just wanted to cry and run but are you ever doing any more comedy shows there you think uh i don't know um i don't know what's gonna happen with that i'm so busy right now i don't have time to do it that show was always fun yeah sage is salvia isn't that crazy no wonder i was having flashbacks one of the several genera commonly how do you say g e a g e n e r a what is that genres but is that now no no genera it's got something to do with genetics yeah it's a body

term several genera whatever commonly referred to as sage. Let's fucking give our listeners the answer. What is... Look it up in the dictionary. I love that. Highlight it. Look it up in the dictionary. Genus.

Yeah, that's right. I thought it was that. Principal taxonomic category that ranks above species and below family. Hmm. that ranks above species and below family. Hmm. And is denoted by a capitalized Latin name for E.G. Leo. Okay.

So, it's one of the types of sage. That's what Salvia divinorum is. It's one of the several different kinds of sage. So, I don't know how much of that shit that you walk into when you're wandering through the woods. It's step over sage brush. I wonder how much of that you light on fire and see Jesus. Probably not much. I bet a lot of it.

I bet it's pretty common. Let's see how common is salvia in the wild. Let's look up that. Is that Target? Yeah, you can get it at Target. Shut up. Yeah. They sell salvia fucking

salvia plants absolutely go to target.com and check it out you know what else they sell they sell fucking peyote what yeah they sell the fucking cactus man san pedro cactus you can buy at any home depot you take that san pedro cactus and make fucking peyote allegedly no yes you can wait you could also take the fucking morning glory seeds and smash them up and cook them and and make a very potent psychoactive similar to lsd lsa i believe is what it's called as a matter of fact they've actually taken steps to make the seeds uh non-psychoactive they like poison these fucking seeds they make it so it's like it will upset your stomach yeah Yeah. Yeah. Hawaiian rosewood, too.

That's another one. Nutmeg. That's another one. Datura. Devil's gypsum seed. That's another one. A huge spoon of cinnamon is supposed to make you trip. Yeah.

In some parts of the world, particularly in northern Mexico and southwestern United States, like we live, bitches, salvia diva norm grows wild it's fucking wild out here man that's nuts it's wild right here I don't like salvia you don't I do not like I won't do it anymore why what's matter what that buzz you can't handle it yeah I guess if you want to say it like that i just don't like the feeling it's like it's like it's a it's not a great high it's not it's a dirty high it's a dirty high it feels like it does damage too it just doesn't it's just after you get done doing

it you're sweating your ass off like your body goes from like like zero to a hundred your heart beats going so bad you're just drenched in sweat you have that dirty like fucking like my brain feels fucked up feeling and it's just a gross feeling like almost like a like a sinus hangover or something this is it's a drug that was a it's a shamanic drug it's like it's like more in the line of like i i don't know but i've read that like ibogaine is not a pleasant high it's like it's meant to be used as a kind of in um accordance with like a shaman or someone who knows what they're doing to like create some spiritual effect it's not meant so that you can fucking pass out in front of mario brothers in your trailer like you know it's not it's not the

way people use it now is they get you this shit with an Xbox playing in the background and a baby sleeping in the other room. I don't think it's that kind of drug. It's not one of the pleasant drugs. There are psychedelics that if you take low doses definitely can be social lubricants and can be fun for partying, but salvia doesn't feel like that at all. Yeah, well, people that take it, that make videos of them taking it,

certainly support that. Yeah. Those videos of people brian has a few of them out there and the one with ari freaking out yeah where they ari did it in front of them and ari did it and this ari is one of my favorite stories of salvia ari did it and lived another life for months he made friends he had relationships he lived a life in this artificial world for months and then was snapped back to reality when it's overed up and he said he'll never forget it he said was it was really weird listening to him describe it he's like I had a whole nother life for months I did it with Bobby Lee and he said he felt like he was on a pirate ship covered in spiders hey Brian you know I don't think you're supposed to let these lasers hit you in the eyeball.

These are club lasers, so they're okay. When you go blind in the club, it's fine. There's pussy there. They are okay, though? Yeah, yeah. They're for nightclubs and stuff like that. Oh, okay. What happens if they hit your eyeballs?

Nothing. Nothing? You know, I read this thing where they said that you're supposed to not wear sunglasses and that you should allow a certain amount of sunlight to hit your eyes because there's essential nutrients nutrients nutrients that you get from sunlight just like you get nutrients from sunlight and vitamin d and also you get nutrients that help your vision i never wear sunglasses i'm wearing them now just for halloween but i never wear them to the point where i think i probably fuck my eyes up a little bit from not wearing well they say if you go like skiing

or something you know like snow blindness callan knows a guy who went snow blind literally he went blind he went uh he climbed k2 and uh the snow was so bright he didn't have sunglasses on he's been there for one day one of his eyes went blind that sucks that sucks i got yeah i got sunburn on my eyeball because it rained i was in myrtle beach and it rained on the uh table and the table was glass and then i hung out and drank on the table uh for a few hours and the reflection off the water on the glass table i guess like like magnified the the rays or whatever and for three three days, I couldn't see. I couldn't open my eyes. My eyes were watering and burning.

I just had to sit there and close my eyes at Myrtle Beach for three days. If you had to pick a sense to lose. I wouldn't. Let's not do this. What would it be? I don't like to do that. Honey Boo Boo's mom or Honey Boo Boo? Yeah, I like Honey Boo Boo's mom because she probably can't get pregnant anymore.

You would pick Honey Boo Boo's mom over being able to see? No, I'm not talking about you. No, it's Honey Boo Boo's mom or Honey Boo Boo. Yeah, that's the question. It's like we're not going to play. You don't want to play that game? No, stupid. It's negative.

Negative. It is. A lot of people go blind hearing it. Just start talking about loss. What would you rather do, lose your feet or lose your dick? I don't know. Stupid. There's other things to think about.

By the way, that's an easy answer. Yeah, it is easy. Okay, because they make fake feet but fake dicks don't feel shit. Yeah. Right? Is that what it is? Namaste. Namaste. Namaste. I just enjoyed some amazing vegan salad.

Namaste. Namaste. Duncan Trussell, vegan salad namaste namaste duncan trussell why are you wearing a wolf hat this fucking hat yeah why are you wearing it you have to ask why i'm wearing the most amazing hat on earth where'd you get it i got it in fucking nevada city northern california where like the very like uh with the emerald triangle one of my friends got a uh legal marijuana farm up there there's no such thing federally yeah whatever as a matter of fact uh i'm going to have to stop smoking marijuana because i want to pursue uh my uh hunting obsession my new hunting obsession so i'm gonna quit pot if you guys were both single, would you fuck this girl? Who wouldn't?

Okay, because that's a lady boy. What a trap! You asshole! That was like the easiest trap to set up all time. That's not a girl. That's a lie. Thank God I had to think about it for a second. I would have to listen to her talk.

I'd probably be able to smell her and know. I'd probably be able to smell her and know that she was a boy. Brody just recently on a podcast came out and saying that he went to overseas for a movie, Bangkok, and tested out a ladyboy. What did he think? So he now thinks he's 10% gay. He doesn't want to pursue that. He just wanted to see if he was or not. What happened?

How did they fuck? What happened? Was he on top? No, I guess it just just maybe a blowjob. Oh, boy. Wow. You know, you can get gonorrhea from mouth contact. 300,000 cases of gonorrhea in 2000.

Well, every year, apparently. Did you recently get gonorrhea? No, I'm just telling you. I'm just saying, don't let dudes who dress up like girls and give out blowjobs suck your dick because their mouth ain't too picky. That's what I'm trying to say. You should do public service announcement. Everyone now who buys a gun must fill out the ATF form 4473, which asks, are you an unlawful user of or addicted to marijuana or any depressant, stimulant, narcotic drug, or any other controlled substance?

All right. Well, that's an amazing question, first of all. Because you can answer, no, I'm not. Because I'm not an unlawful user. Because I'm a medical marijuana user in the state of California where I had a doctor's prescription for it. So no no that's done a lot but it's not true federally and then it's to say are you addicted to marijuana or any

depressant stimulant what about coffee like they could like legally they could bring you to jail if you drink coffee every day that's right this is how stupid this law is narcotic drug or any other controlled substance yes that's fascinating man oh you're this law is narcotic drug or any other controlled substance that's fascinating man oh you're an unlawful user of and what does that mean a user of in the past tense or user of currently because like currently i'm not doing anything i'm not i'm not doing anything right now so i could say i could write down that report no because currently i'm not right but like what does that mean like user like how does that fit into your lifestyle like do you do you have like every day you have

to smoke a joint just like every day you have to take your fucking thyroid medication no like what kind of a weird ass question is that what kind of a weird open-ended question is that and that can keep you from having a gun i just got my my shit renewed yesterday. Look how stoned I was in my picture. You can't even see my eyes. You look barbecued, son. Yeah, isn't that fascinating, man? Like, are you an unlawful user of or addicted to? First of all, the idea that you're addicted to marijuana,

that's like saying, are you addicted to washing your hands? Because it's the same people that get addicted to marijuana or addicted to anything. You just come up with something. Isn't that an optimistic thing to put on your form because you're just naively assuming that anyone's going to answer that question honestly? No.

What they're doing is they're making it so that anybody who runs a medical marijuana plant can't arm themselves. All right. If you have a fucking farm and you're growing medical marijuana and the government comes in to take you, they can also bust you for having these guns illegally and for lying on these federal forms, which is just like perjury.

These fucking goblins, man. It's the worst. It's unbelievable that that passed through. This, you know, the Second Amendment is a very important part of anybody who wants to hunt their own food, be able to protect themselves from criminals, be able to, you know, protect themselves from predators. If you live in, like, a rural community, if you live, like, if you live in Montana and you're living out in the woods, like in that show Mountain Men, these motherfuckers, they need guns to shoot off bears. They have bears that they need to shoot at. I mean you don't the bear comes and eats you i mean to say that they can't have bears because they also have arthritis that medical marijuana cures look here's the other fucking thing by the way fuck the reason god damn it here's another fun

thing you can do shoot shooting guns is just fucking fun it's fun to shoot bottles it's fun to shoot targets it's fun to shoot a gun it's just a blast like there shouldn't we should the whole point is it's not about reason it's like you get to have a gun in this country if you want to have a fucking gun it shouldn't be based on whether or not you smoke something that grows out of the ground meanwhile you could have like hunter s thompson had a fucking bar at his shooting range a bar have you ever seen that a full fucking bar with a butler you can have that yeah but you can't smoke pot and shoot that's ridiculous yeah you could be you got a prescription for oxycontin as long as it's legal as long as it's legal you don't have that problem any person bureau assistant director arthur her Herbert writes in the open letter to all gun sellers,

any person who uses or is addicted to marijuana, regardless of whether his or her state has passed legislation authorizing marijuana use for medicinal purposes, is prohibited by federal law from possessing firearms or ammunition. That shit makes me want to join the NRA. It really does. You should. I am going to. I think I am.

I think the NRA was fucking dead right. I think all this time that the NRA has been trying to stop the government from taking away gun rights, now I understand it. Now I get it. All this time I thought it was like wow these crazy gun nuts they really want to have machine guns hey they really want to have assault rifles no they just don't want to have these people telling you what you can and can't have it's simple man it's a simple fucking right it's obvious too the atf uh or the national

rifle association isn't commenting on it. It says the National Rifle Association, which frequently butts heads with the ATF, has not put out a statement on the letter, and a spokesperson there did not return calls for comment. A spokesman for Rocky Mountain Gun Owners was also silent. Well, you know, that's really sad. It's a really sad thing, because that's really sad. It's a really sad thing because that's just the pressure from pharmaceutical companies that are trying to make sure that medical marijuana doesn't spill off into some sort of a decriminalization event nationwide. And, you know, to stop it in its place, it started out in Montana.

And the reason why it's in Montana is because if you've ever been to Montana, a huge percentage of the people in montana hunt when we were in montana um everywhere we drove people were there was like signs that said welcome hunters like in bars and restaurants said welcome hunters there's a lot of fucking people hunting up there and there's also a lot of people up there that like to get high so they decided to kill the medical marijuana community there by making it so that if you are a legal registered medical marijuana patient, you can't own a firearm.

Oh, well. Fucking pigs. Un-but-fucking-believably gross, man. It's really disgusting. It said Jeff Dorsher, a spokesperson, a spokesman, for the U.S. Attorney's Office in Colorado, said the decision whether to prosecute someone would be made on a case-by-case basis. That's basically saying they have you by the balls.

There don't appear to be any cases in Colorado where people have been prosecuted for illegally owning guns because they're medical marijuana patients, because there's so many medical marijuana patients who have guns in Colorado. You've just made felons out of a know a million people and that's not exaggeration the medical marijuana community in colorado is fucking amazing isn't it isn't it basically a slippery slope though like the moment you uh as a government say that people can't consume a plant that has you can't overdose on the moment you're making laws like that isn't it kind of a slippery slope where you can't expect there to be other logical laws following that?

I mean, isn't the thing like, like what they're doing is obviously wrong. And that seems to be part of what they do. The federal government makes shitty laws that have no basis in actual reality and are just based on whatever their weird power agenda is. It's that, but I think it's also them. It's a death throw.

They're exposing their belly. I think they're showing how fucking stupid their system really is, that they're actually creating a law that's going to make people angry and furious. And the wrong people, gun owners. Because gun owners and hunters are some of the most organized motherfuckers you know it's really interesting how these um fish and game departments are entirely funded the conservation efforts are entirely funded by hunters hunters and hunting and gun owners are the ones who organize like one of the bestrun departments in the entire country.

It's the different states' fish and game departments. They're incredibly efficient at managing game populations, at setting tag limits, at managing the number of livestock or wildlife, rather. Wildlife stock, like men and females, and they do all these surveys and tests. They're incredibly efficient because it's all based on people who actually care about the environment, who actually go out and hunt these wild animals. So you're going to get them against you. And this is supposed to be the government. This is supposed to be the people that are looking out for you.

There's no reason to pass this. There's no fucking reason. They're just making shit more complicated, making government deeper, creating more fucking problems, creating more cunty scenarios where you're going to lock someone in jail because they like to smoke weed and they like to hunt. You dummies. Yeah, P.S. All this makes me want to do is get baked and go shoot a gun. All this makes me want to do is go to Canada.

That's what it makes me want to do. It makes me want to run away from these stupid fucking laws. These are dumb. to do. It makes me want to run away from these stupid fucking laws. These are dumb. The idea that you could put yourself in jeopardy that you could possibly get locked in a cage and not be able to see your family for an extended period of time because you did something

that you wanted to do that didn't hurt anybody. It's fucking crazy. And believe me, if you were stoned and you had a gun, you'd be careful as fuck. Oh my god, you'd be so goddamn paranoid. Sure. I think you would. You might be an idiot though you might just like a dude just start shooting things man when i when i grew up around guns nothing is

like growing up around guns makes you so safe with guns like since i was like can remember my dad like me because kids like little boys have fake guns and my dad would like even with the fake guns he would like teach us like never point this at somebody here's how you handle a weapon and then when then of course he would like taught us to shoot and it was like the way how strict and stern he was with weapons like i'll never forget that i'm so fucking careful when i get around guns because he like raised me in the right way and that came from being only people who haven I get around guns because he raised me in the right way. And that came from being... Only people who haven't been around guns are afraid of guns.

Yeah. It's like when your kids find guns in your house. And if your kids are raised and taught what a gun is and what's important and why it's dangerous, they're going to be okay because they're used to being around them anyway. Yeah. You know how to put the safety on. You know when the safety's off. You know not to fucking point to fucking point at anyone not to have a bullet in the chamber yeah all those things and also by the way if you've got fucking guns the responsible thing is you

have a goddamn gun safe you put your fucking guns in a safe you don't leave them around yeah period yeah it's um it's it's really unfortunate when the government has to pass laws like this. They don't have to, but when they try to pass laws like this to further some other agenda. The agenda against medical marijuana is what it is. It's that simple. It's trying to slow the medical marijuana

movement, and so they involve guns. I think it's a mistake. It's fucking disgusting. Did you see that editorial article CNN just put out on why we should legalize marijuana? Yes, I did see it. So cool. It's amazing. Well, meanwhile, it's still illegal.

Meanwhile, people are getting arrested every 37 seconds. Is that the statistic? Yes. 39, 37, 39. Jesus, man. Yeah, in this country, by the way. Yeah, it's fucking stupid. Stupid.

It's a waste of goddamn time, and it's become a business in and of itself. That's the real issue. The real issue is that it's become a fucking business. The business of arresting people and keeping people in jail, the business of closing down medical marijuana farms and catching Mexican drug runners living in the Northern California mountains where they have a giant, like wild fucking, these huge setups out there.

Where they have the shit growing wild. Yeah. You know, so it rains up there constantly. You could just start planting it. Yeah. And then they harvest it all. But they have these dudes living up there in camps. They have, they even have a god, or a saint, rather, that they pray to.

The narco saint. Put on their fucking guns. Yeah. They have, like, pictures of this guy they pray to the narco put on their fucking guns yeah they have like pictures of this guy what is the narco saint he's got a name hold on i'll find out what his fucking name is powerful goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo what the fuck was that jesus malverde sometimes known as the generous bandit the angel of the poor or the narco bandits. The generous bandit. It's Robin Hood. Isn't that amazing? Do you know what Robin Hood was initially about?

No. The king owned land. You couldn't hunt the king's land. Robin Hood would hunt the land and take the deer and give it to the poor. That's what the robbing from the rich and feeding the poor was.

Isn't that amazing? Yeah. I thought it was about money. It started out with that. It started out with poaching. Poaching the king's deer the king's motherfucking deer man the king's always got deer well apparently the difference between the way wildlife is run in america and wildlife was run in the european world and that was one of the

things that made united states so great when people came here from europe was that in europe all land and hunting is all owned by royalty and rich people. And so there's no public hunting. It's all on private land. Whereas in America, the wildlife is all the peoples. Even on private land, say if you own private land, you still can't shoot everything that's on that land. You have to have a tag for the deer right you have to kill you know only a certain amount of them according to how much population you have in the area and that was uh what was uh that made like these daniel boone characters that

came here from from uh european background so happy that they could live this sort of uh different life where they're running around just hunting whenever they wanted to and be able to provide for their family which you couldn't do in in europe you literally couldn't go out and and hunt food unless you went to a private land preserve it's still a lot of countries i think scotland is still like that can uh you can't just go there you have to go to these private places it's amazing. It's incredible the different things that powerful people will do. Cunt. Yeah.

Fix the world, Duncan. I'm working on it, man. You're the king. Fix the world. How do you do it? How do I fix the world? Yes. Well, I mean, obviously, we start paying teachers the amount that we pay doctors, creating a competitive environment.

Even doctors are getting fucked over, man. Well, okay, so we pay teachers a fuckload of money so that it becomes you pay actors yeah that's it imagine that's it and you have like academy awards for the best teachers so teachers become the celebrities fucking make it so that the it's the most competitive industry to get in so the people who become teachers are these fucking super genius brilliant people who start really teaching kids about how incredible and beautiful the universe is teach them about fucking feinman teach them how to like uh synthesize lsd boom you do that that's terrorist behavior as labeled in the patriot act what you just said what teaching them about feinman no the other part oh well fuck them dude

hey everybody fuck them dude no that's the problem man you fucking start with the kids get them educated get them excited about life get them to understand that we exist in a beautiful juicy vibrant world and that your brain is an alchemical laboratory which can produce thoughts which if you put those thoughts into action can transform your entire planet in the same way that the invention of electricity or the varieties of technologies that have come from the mind have shifted our planet uh completely and perhaps perpetually you teach kids that your mind is a fucking is the laboratory from which every single innovation that has affected your species has come. You share the same brain that Einstein had, Feynman had, Buddha had. You have that

computer. Here's different operating systems that you can decide on. You teach them about yoga. You teach them about health. You get them fucking high when they're ready. Initiatory rituals. You bring them into a visceral experience of the beauty of life instead of putting them in little fucking boxes, making them sit at uncomfortable seats and listen to underpaid angry people. Not all of them. Some teachers don't give a fuck and they're beautiful people, but some of them are like not being treated with any kind of respect. And the end result is they're phoning it in, you know? And so that makes kids, when they think about reading or books or math or any of it, they just have this like the same reaction you have when you've gotten a tequila hangover and someone offers you tequila, because you've been having

this shit pumped into you in the absolute wrong way. We can't educate kids the way we make foie gras by fucking forcing shit down into their mouths until they're poisoned and sickened by it and hate it because it's coming from angry, bitter people a lot of the times. I can remember certain teachers I had, man. They were fucking pissed, angry shitheads, and it made me hate the information. Okay, but devil's advocate, when you look at the possibility of computer simulations

and you look at the idea that life is some sort of computer program, those people inspired you to not be like them. Those people inspired you with energy and the motivation and will to move past their paradigm and to see the error of their ways. And one of the best ways to see the error of someone's ways is to see someone who's just preaching bullshit, living a miserable life. You see it and it's almost more powerful sometimes than a positive image and a positive message. Some of the reason why I got motivated to do all the things that i did was

because i was raised shitty i'll tell you what's motivated me dude what's motivated me is running into some really great teachers in my life you my friend emil amos this guy is a fucking amazing musician he's a genius different different college professors the professor who convinced me to go to fucking india like really brilliant people i agree with that you've done the same thing convinced me to go to fucking India. Like, really brilliant people. I agree with that. You've done the same thing to me as have all of my friends. Yeah. But I also think that the people that are trying to stop me and the people that have said shitty things to me,

those people just, they start a fire inside me that I don't know if would have been there if it was just a positive reaction. I think the yin and the yang is important. And I am certainly not. Clearly, you're never going to get rid of this fucking the negative element. But you can be with people who teach what you just said, what you just said, which is a kind of like Nietzschean idea that we need. The part of what we need is a thing to resist.

We need a thing to rise above. We need a thing that we can get angry at that motivates us but that shit can be taught you can teach that to kids you can teach that to people like you can show people that you can just bring people these philosophies that have been developed by super geniuses, and let the kids pick. Let them decide. And you can do it coming from charismatics and coming from performers instead of coming from people who just want to get fucking home. So there's positive ways to achieve results, and there's negative ways to achieve positive results.

And the negative reinforcement forces you to rebound and to push away from that and thus create a positive result. But it's also possible to create that positive result with correct nurturing and a real philosophy for life. Yeah. A real positive philosophy. So it's almost like we're almost destined to follow a positive.

We have several different options for achieving a positive result, including being raised badly, you know, including being raised by someone who doesn't care about you and forces you to be a much more loving and caring parent. You know, this is a story that's going to really probably piss off a lot of the audience, because it's a Jesus story. But I just read it somebody sent me this book of like monks writing essays on the gospels and there's this and when you hear this at first it's like come on that's so fucking stupid but then when you think about it it's kind of a cool idea but there's this story like christ is walking through the temple with his fucking disciples and there's a blind man that he heals. And they ask him, why was that man blind?

Why was that man born blind? Is it because of his sins? Now, you have to understand, this is coming from a primitive desert philosophy, sins and all that shit. But they're saying, is it because of his karma? Or is it because his parents' bad karma? They're asking, like, what's the reason that this guy is fucked up? And the response is really brilliant. And the response was, the guy, and if you take it literally, it's stupid. his parents bad karma they're asking like what's the reason that this guy is fucked up and the

response is really brilliant and the response was the guy and if you take it literally it's stupid but the response was he was he's born blind so that that miracle could be worked through him so that novelty could come into the universe in the moment that he regained his sight and i think that's a really beautiful fucking idea, which is that your situation, whatever your specific situation happens to be, that is a negative backed into a corner, dark fucking place. In one way, it's the most awful thing ever. But in another way, there is nothing more fucking beautiful. Like when you have a friend who's like a desperate, horrible fucking alcoholic, whose life has gone to shit who's broke all the

time and is almost dying and you see him overcome that fucking addiction and all of a sudden this guy wherever he goes to anyone who's an alcoholic is like a living representation of the fact that you don't have to live like that that is fucking powerful so your negative state whether you're obese whether you're a drunk whether you're on heroin, whatever the fucking thing is that you happen to be in because of circumstance or whatever, that has the potential energy. You can convert that into a living teaching so that everyone around you can see that you mastered yourself and rose above the darkness. And the people who are in that dark place, they'll be inspired by that a million times more than reading the Bhagavad Gita a thousand times or seeing something written down because you're the living example of the fact that life, human life, and the human individual's life can radically transform for the positive if you focus. And if you are, there's some luck in there too. But so the point is, these negative situations, they're given to us as a, I don't want to say given, but they're

an opportunity to really show people shit can get better. Because man, when I hear something, you know, like when you see someone who's a cunt and they're yapping about whatever the fuck, you know what I mean? But their life sucks and they're always in drama and they're in a bad relationship. You know, it's like, what are you talking about? But when you know what i mean but their life sucks and they're always in drama and they're in a bad relationship you know what it's like what are you talking about but when you run into an authentically happy person who's utilized principles and transform their lives you fucking listen to that man well when you run into people that are doing things also you like feel the need to do things when you read about someone who's inspirational you get inspired you know you you we we draw energy from other examples including negative ones you'll see a fat person will

motivate you to go to the gym you'll see some guy in a fucking scooter with his gut hanging over the handlebars and you'll you'll throw the twinkie away you know yeah we we're capable of taking positives from negatives damn right we can draw energy from all sources it doesn't just have to be like uh inspirational people certainly you can like the idea really the idea is whatever the energy is coming in turn it to positive shift it turn it transform it be the fucking prism that shifts whatever that energy is into like a beautiful rainbow instead of like a turd and even when it is, just let it enhance your rainbow. Yeah.

Enhance your beautiful vision of the world and pump it up even further. And, you know, that idea, it's something that like people can say, oh, you guys talk about that all the time. I really think you have to. I think it's something that's a mantra. I think it's something that needs to be repeated. It's an ethic that needs to be ingrained in our mentalities. And that's why I say it all the time. Because I'm also doing it for myself. I want to pump my own version of it up in my own head. I'm not immune to negative feelings and thoughts. I'm just a very diligent watcher. I'm a very diligent guard of my consciousness so when i repeat positive things it's not that i'm trying to convince myself it's i'm reinforcing these positive traits in my own

mind and in the mind of other people and you know it may be a bit repetitive sometimes and get a bit redundant but i think we need it i really do i think you need it yourself i think i need it i think i think society needs it yeah i think it I need it. I think society needs it. Yeah. I think it's missing. It's missing from all of our entertainment. It's missing from Anderson Cooper's CNN reports. It's missing from the fucking news of all the shit of the day and the hurricane devastation.

There's missing a broadcast from the collective consciousness, a broadcast from the culture of the world that we can slowly but surely, despite all the news and evidence to the contrary, slowly but surely all move towards a more positive state. This thing you're talking about is what I think of as the river and the forest effect. Have you ever been walking in a forest and suddenly you become aware of the sound of the river? It's been there the whole time. But it's such a subtle sound that blends in with the wind and the sound. But all of a sudden you hear that light trickling of water running over rocks. That's what you're talking about.

It's a kind of like metaphysical river that runs through everything. And it's very subtle. And it's very easy to forget that it's there. And we've got to figure out how to get it to the atf we've got to figure out how to get it to these fucking crazy ass the same people that brought you the fast and the furious trying to lock you up for having a rifle and a fucking medical marijuana license we got to get this the same people that run the federal bank that want to pretend there's some fucking crazy debt that we have to pay off to who to what yes where's that money what does it even mean what

does your money represent yes you fucking crazy assholes with your numbers and your fucking the scroll underneath the when you're watching the news and that stock market scroll goes under you're like what are you saying yeah the fuck are you doing we have to fix it well first fucking hear it yourself that's the first goddamn fix the people god damn it fix the conscious and then get to the point where the consciousness has evolved so so much that it's it's it's ridiculous to everyone including the people that are in charge yeah and man but yeah you know and i this is another thing we always say but just talking about this reminds me of it man it's so easy to forget this shit, and it's so easy to go out into the world, and everything's goddamn rubbing you the wrong way.

Everything can seem so fucking terrible, but then when you realize, no, you don't have to be a victim. You can either get rolled by the wave of phenomena, or you can surf on the fucking top of it. When you remember that, then suddenly when you go out into the world, the asshole you run into at the fucking gym, the shitty waiter, whatever, the cunt in traffic, these things become little packets of energy that you can use to enhance your existence and to grow. But God damn, it's easy to forget. And it's easier to let them to be rolled. It's easier to be angry. It's a form of laziness.

Yeah, intellectual laziness and physical laziness that's one of the things look in order to have a sound body you have to have a sound mind it sounds like a cliche but it's fucking true you got to eat healthy you got to drink a lot of water and you got to get some fucking exercise in yes if you don't get some exercise in your body's going to betray you your body's going to lie to you it's going to give you stress it's unnecessary it's going to send you signals that you have to deal with. You need to keep your fucking machine healthy. Your vehicle for traveling through this dimension is your body.

Keep that bitch healthy. See this shit? This is water. I drink a liter of this every couple hours. I piss like a racehorse. I piss every five seconds in my pants. It's important, folks. Take your vitamin.

Brian's over there with a glass of heroin mixed with AIDS. I flavor my heroin with AIDS. There's nothing like heroin-flavored AIDS. Take off your glasses and show the world your eyes, Duncan Trussell. Let them know. Let them see your soul. Let them see through the windows of your soul. They're fun to wear those glasses, man.

Folks, this podcast is over. Can I talk about a show? Yeah, you can. I have this show coming up. I'm going to be at the Fun Fun Fun Fest this weekend in Austin. But on the 6th. What is that? It's this badass festival in Austin that happens on the 4th.

Everything is badass in Austin. It's probably not very fun, though. But the show, please come to this. It's Fitzgerald's in Houston on the 6th. That is a show that I really would love for you guys to come. I have one in Dallas, but it's sold out. But the one in Houston, there's still tickets. November 6th at Fitzgerald's.

If you go to my website, dunkertrussell.com, you get tickets there. Powerful Duncan Trussell. Thanks, John. Thanks for letting me plug that. Please, anytime, man. This weekend, Seattle, Washington on Saturday night, the November 3rd at the Moore Theater

is completely sold out. Sorry, bitches, but we're just awesome um voodoo chicken are you gonna make a scheduled appearance we're gonna contact the voodoo chicken brian red band's coming and of course greg fitzsimmons will be there as well um and by the way when i say that we're awesome seattle i mean you guys too i mean all of us together it's not just like us i wouldn't say like me and dun and Brian are awesome. We're all awesome. Yeah.

We're all a part of this awesome experience. San Francisco, Friday night, November 2nd at the Knob Hill Masonic Center. Yeah, I know. Masonic. Peace. I don't know. I don't get it. All hail Moloch.

For me, it's just a place to perform, folks. I don't even call Live Nation. I have a representative that calls them. I don't even deal with those people myself you know i'm saying i let somebody else do all the dirty work for me that was the only place it's there's nothing sinister about this knob hill masonic center and um they'll probably smell like weed in there we're gonna get our freak on san francisco it's one of the greatest fucking by the way dude the masons knew how to build a place to focus energy i used used to, I performed in Masonic Halls.

You can really fucking blast the beam in those places, man. You can really do it. Well, it's supposed to be a really cool place. And some tickets are still available for that. Some tickets are also available for the Metropolis in Montreal on November 16th. Are you coming with me, Duncan Trussell? Yes. To Montreal.

Yes. I can't fucking wait. I can't fucking wait. Oh, can I say oneussell? Yes. To Montreal. Yes. I can't fucking wait. I can't fucking wait. Yes. Oh, can I say one more thing? Yes. I forgot. November 7th and 8th, I'm in New Orleans at the Hell Yeah Fest.

So come to that, please. Oh, Brian, my little calendar, you don't have up the 10th, which is San Diego. And Joe Rogan on the Twitter page, please put that up. Because Joey Diaz and I are at the Balboa Theater. Maybe Brian Redband too if he wants to make a little trip down. On what day?

The 10th? Actually, no. Oh, no, you're going to be out of town. You're going to be in Ohio. Yeah. Oh, cool. I'm with Tom Segura

and Dayton November 8th and Cincinnati November 9th. Those two shows are not selling as fast as the Columbus people. Yeah, well, Columbus is strong as always. We might be looking

into buying Brian'srian's mom's place in columbus she has a fucking bed and breakfast nice and turn it into death squad studios turn it into the death squad compound you're gonna fucking bot what are you gonna do with brian's mom we're gonna get rid of her throw her into the streets no she's got two houses but one of them she owns is a bed and breakfast on a giant piece of land where we can hunt deer dude i like it how many acres did you talk to mom i haven't but i will it's a lot more than 20 acres you saw just at the driveway yeah it looks pretty big we need a few hundred acres we need a ted nugent style high fence keep some fucking buffalo rolling around tunnels i found a place online

some guy sent me this on Twitter where you can buy houses that are built on top of old missile silos there's a bunch of them let's get one of those brother that's where they used to manufacture the LSD in a fucking missile silo

come on let's get a silo that was that that was the one that what's his face Hamilton Morris yeah silo homes man there's a lot of those these are these are incredible they uh there's like several homes for sale that are built like if you go to silo home.com you can check these out it sounds like the ultimate apocalyptic scenario one of them has a fucking runway for a plane

and this rustic-looking log house that's built over this several-floor missile silo that's converted into this crazy storage compound. Fucking fascinating shit, folks. Prepare for the apocalypse. It is coming. Hare Krishna. You know, it already came to New York and New Jersey

and all our brothers and sisters out there on the beach in New Jersey that lost your houses. Hare Krishna. to keep moving folks you can't stay in places that are getting ravaged by nature there's places on earth right now where you can't live you can't live where there are volcanoes you can't live in antarctica you can't live in the fucking north pole we got to keep moving okay and that's one more aspect of our world where we have to understand that this is really truly a global community and we can't live in the places that suck and we got to be able to not be fucking territorial and accept people into new spots mexico whatever and make love make love and let jizz flow from your penis blast that jizz friends blast it and uh and make people if you can and raise them correctly and be nice to all the folks around you drop love bombs give the hand. Don't put those off. Yeah. Listen, don't. Yeah.

Give happiness. Yeah. Spread orgasms. You just ruined everything with handjobs. Handjobs? What the hell? What's that? Some girls don't do that when it's time.

Okay. I don't know what you're saying. Sounds like someone has a repulsive penis. How dare you? No one wants to suck it. It's beautiful. It's like a root. It's like the root of a fucking rutabago.

It's the root of all evil. What's a rutabago? A rutabag? No, how dare you? It's an oak tree. It's like the root of a fucking rutabago. It's the root of all evil. What's a rutabago? A rutabag? No, how dare you? It's an oak tree. No, I'm a penis model. I use my penis for... I'm a condom model.

Sweet. All right, folks. For highlights. That is the end of this week's podcast. Thanks to Onnit.com for sponsoring our podcast. And Onnit is now going to sponsor all of the squad podcasts including the duncan trussell family hell yeah you can get on uh where's my are you on stitcher are you on stitcher powerful stitcher um we're we're up for some stitcher awards with by the way i don't give

a fuck if we win or not because uh i'm not really an awards guy i think the awards for art are silly but if you give me it i'll accept accept it. We're fucking shows over. Onnit.com. Use the code name Rogan. Save yourself 10% off any and all supplements. Next week, we have Philip Kopens, a law civilizations expert, on Monday. Brian Callen is on Tuesday. And Peter Duesberg on Wednesday.

He is the biologist from the University of California, Berkeley that does not believe that HIV causes AIDS we got a lot of cool shit coming on folks a lot of craziness you fucking dirty freaks and that's it and by the way the new studio

should be any week now, it's almost done we're setting up some things next Wednesday and we may very well start broadcasting live um in uh the month of november that's what it looks like yeah it's gonna be sick all right you fucks we love you we love the shit out of you and you are us and we are you one love keep it going Lock this shit.