The Joe Rogan Experience - #284 - Daniel H. Wilson

Episode Date: November 14, 2012

Joe sits down with Daniel H. Wilson.

Cue the music, Brian. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Powerful Daniel H. Wilson. How are you a robotics expert? Was it all in research for this book? Do you have a background in robotics? Yeah, as a kid I got really into robots and then I studied computer science.

And then while I was doing that I found out that instead of just programming computers, you could actually teach them how to learn the answer on their own, artificial intelligence. So when I saw that there was science fiction that you could study for real, the nerd in me really went for it. I mean, it was exactly like if you're playing a role-playing game and you have a character sheet and you're picking the skills. Right. I saw roboticist and I said, oh, well, I'll level up in that. I think that would be great. So it was just like you had a dream job as a little kid and you just got lucky that it was an actual real job.

Yeah, basically. I mean, like I like science fiction. I like the science and then whenever I got I finished this computer science thing and I didn't want to I mean forget going Into the real world and get a job Fuck that I went to grad school and studied robotics When I finished that I started writing books about robots Wow, that's awesome This book that you wrote Robo apocalypse. Is that what it is? Yeah, this is going to get turned into a movie Yeah, I'm gonna scare the fuck out of people, man?

I've had this described to me from very credible sources as Saving Private Ryan with robots. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's going to be fucking intense. Is this something that you just wrote about because it's a fascinating piece of

fiction to pursue? Or is this something that you think is actually possible? Do you ever consider the idea that robots could try to take over the earth? Well, man, I have really mixed feelings about this because I spent all this time with roboticists. We're building robots. We all had our own research and we were definitely trying to help people. None of us were evil that I knew of, you know. And so then I go and I get done and I write this book where robots are like killing everybody, you know. So I made it as realistic as I could based on everything I know. So there are no robots from outer space.

There's no time travel. This is all based on stuff that we either have already or we're going to have soon. So it's the most realistic version that I could come up with. But that said, I don't really think that the robots are going to join together under a sentient artificial intelligence and then try to wipe us out as a species. I always felt like there were certain things that the instincts that human beings had that lead us to war and lead us to defeats of ego and craziness and psychosis. And I always felt that a lot of them were wrapped around breeding, around the necessary things that need to be in place in order to reinforce the idea that it's it's competition to breed and that these things wouldn't exist in a computer because it wouldn't need them it wouldn't be inherent to the system the same way greed and ego is almost inherent to the human system to promote sexual uh you know conquest or to to promote competition yeah i mean if you look at any of us that are sitting here

that are alive, you've got to think that every single one of our ancestors, by hook or by crook, they lived long enough to make babies and to keep the babies safe. And so you don't make it that long, like 200,000 years of Homo sapien, without being a badass, right?

Anybody that was a little too soft, they're not here. They didn't make babies. And so that is a part of our DNA, literally, as human beings. And the thing about building robots is, I mean, you can make them any way you want, right? If you want to build a robot that's going to have a sense of self-preservation, you can do that.

Well, there's also the crazy thought that in this pursuit, this mad pursuit of success that pushes people to do war and pushes people with great feats of ego, it's almost like that's necessary to ensure that there's some form of competition to make things move in the right direction. But it doesn't seem like that would be inherent in a computer system. I think the douchey human behavior,

like we shouldn't think that it would like say, oh, we got to wipe out all these people. We have to take over and wipe out all these people. It doesn't even seem like it would have like a desire to compete. See, here's the deal. Human beings, I feel like we've got all this machinery that's in place, has been for a long time, because it works, right?

There's a reason we're all still alive. And so we have a nature. We have a human nature that we can't change. And sometimes it pushes us to do terrible things in order to survive, or, you know, like you're talking about conquest. And that's scary, right? That we're each of us fighting against sort of a dark nature and we've all got the potential to have a good nature. I think what's even more scary than that is that

a robot can be a total blank slate. Let's say you tell a robot to solve a problem. You tell it to get from point A to point B. Well, if that involves stepping on babies, a robot doesn't have any nature. It doesn't have any instinct. It'll do that. It'll commit in an amoral way without any good or evil associated with it. It can commit atrocities. And that's pretty scary. That means you've got to be careful whenever you build these things.

Yeah, you can build into it. Please avoid humans avoid you know unnecessary loss of human life but at a certain point in time if you're going to use like one of those for war like we're kind of doing with with drones i mean that's kind of essentially what a drone is right i mean it's like a robot that flies yeah drone has a lot of autonomy it makes some decisions on its own but there's but they're not pulling the trigger themselves i don't think they're doing that there are by the way people get all upset about drones and autonomous weapons have been around for for decades and decades i

mean the very first drone i think they use it in the korean war so you know and in vietnam they had them now they're getting cheap because we got the cheap sensors, cheap processing. Well, that was one of the part particulars in Operation Northwoods, I think, was that they were going to use a drone jetliner. And they were going to blow it up and blame the Cubans. Whoa. Yeah. The Cubans blew up a jetliner. And back then, they could just like fucking change your life.

You're now Joe Hill and you live in Montgomery just like fucking change your life you're now joe hill and you live in montgomery alabama you know you just move there you know and they uh that was they had drones back then which is that's nuts that's like 1962 or something like that 61 whatever it was yeah you just load up a vehicle with a bunch of explosives and put a rock on the gas pedal i mean that's i wonder if they knew how to land them or they just knew how to take them off. You know what I mean? I mean, it's a drone like jumbo jet. I wonder what they actually knew how to do back then, if they could actually land it.

One thing I've always wondered is if you're driving a drone all day, you know, and you're like the human being that does pull the trigger, like wouldn't it be nicer for the government to put a big black sensor bar over it before you see all the little people get turned into chunks of meat? Yeah. Just for your own sanity.

I don't think... Well, do they look at it through that night vision thing that we see? Yeah, that thermal stuff, right? Dude, that's weird too, right? Have you watched those videos? They're horrific. The crazy thing is you hear the guys

that speak so clinically, right? They're like, okay, engage target. And they sound like airline pilots. And then they pull that trigger, and you hear the guns firing because you're there inside the Apache helicopter or whatever. And then it actually takes like five seconds for the bullets to go, like two miles. And then all the little people start flying around.

It's pretty crazy to watch. It's bizarre. It's bizarre. I mean, it's just the weirdest way of eliminating people. I mean, it's so clinical, and it's so detached. It's weird. We're killing people from like a mile away. What's a landmine, though, right? I mean, a landmine is basically a robot, right?

To define robots, when people ask me, I always say it's any kind of mechanical artifact that senses the environment, thinks about what to do, and then acts on its own and does the whole sense, think, act deal. And that's what a landmine does. It sits around and senses,

you know, waits on a human whenever a human steps on it, thinks, makes a simple decision to explode. Wow. Yeah. How many of those are allowed? Aren't there a bunch around from like the Vietnam War that still haven't detonated yet?

I don't think the United States is allowed. I think they're outlawed. And I'm pretty sure that we conform to that in most circumstances. But yeah, there's a ton of them that are allowed. And there's not just landmines, right? There's underwater mines for submarines, right? So they hang out on the bottom of the ocean and they are able to... This is what's interesting. These are old too. These are from the 60s. They can target nuclear submarines and these landmines are complicated as shit. So they sit there and they listen for the acoustic signature of whatever comes past and then they identify what type of craft it is based on that they choose

different like loitering strategies about how to follow it and how to get close enough to detonate and then they you know then they chase and then they eventually explode like they do all this stuff targeting oh my god but and some of them are still down there are there some areas like where submarines can't go i imagine but i'm not an expert on that but you know i know i've read about all these all this equipment i mean it's cool stuff the landmines are crazy the idea that you're just going to go to war with anything that touches these things and just blow them up like that that would be an ethical idea so now in order to make them more ethical they they're trying to come up there are lots of new landmines right that i've read about

like the self-healing minefield is one of my favorites so it's a minefield where the landmines can can locomote a little bit so you spread them out and then if something comes through they basically set up a local area network so each landmine kind of has like basically wi-fi and they're talking to each other so they kind of know where each other are at. Then if some of them get blown up, other ones are able to like hop and they just do these little hops until they make the, until they evenly distribute themselves again. And so then you've got this, what they call a self-healing minefield. But that's nothing compared to the crab mines, the ones that are designed to be dropped offshore, and they've got crab legs, and they scuttle up

on the bottom of the ocean, up to the beach, basically, and then onto land, and that's how you mine beaches. Like those walking bombs from Mario Brothers. Yeah, exactly. See, another example of video games becoming real. Dude, dude, dude,

dude. Don't want to get hit by a turtle shell what happens these crabs go in the water and they run up onto the beach yeah I mean it's a good example of what they call biomimetics how big are they? well they're about the size of a crab

and I don't know if those I've seen descriptions of that I've never seen a real one of those and I don't think those are really in use. But it's a great example of if you want to build a machine that's going to operate in a certain environment, you think of the environment as a problem, right? The problem is how do you locomote on the bottom of the ocean in the pounding surf? How do you do that? Well, there are answers to all these problems.

There are animals, right? A lobster is the answer to that problem. A crab is the answer to that problem. And so you go and you study the animals, and then you take the basic principles about how they locomote and how they do whatever, and then you distill them down, you stick them into a robot.

So no matter where you want to go, there's usually a solution to that problem in the form of an animal that you can study. And then I push up my glasses, into a robot so no matter where you want to go there's usually a solution to that problem in the form of an animal that you could study and then i push up my glasses onto my does jesus the idea that you could make like a million little robot mine crabs and just unleash them on a beach that's like the third chapter of robopocalypse is it really well hell yeah that's too cool not to put into a book, right? Oh, fuck yeah. I got this part where they're all walking across

Boston, like they're walking across this plaza and they're... Spoiler alert. They sense vibration through their feet, right? And so whenever they sense the vibration, they raise their little feet up in the air and they all kind of do it at a... You know, I don't know what's going to be in this movie, but there are some things that, God, I just

want to see it. Really? That's awesome, man. Wow. I don't know what's going to be in this movie, but there are some things that, God, I just want to see it. Really? That's awesome, man. Wow. I can't wait to read it. When you wrote this, is this like something that was in your head for a while before you wrote it? Yeah, man, these are ideas that have just been sort of percolating around for a really long time. My first book was How to Survive a Robot Uprising. I was just making fun of all the hollywood bs where robots are killing you know i specifically made fun of like stuff i loved like the matrix and terminator of course i love it i'm thinking about it right but uh then i told i kind of went to the

dark side you know wrote that wrote that fiction you know science fiction killer robots they're sexy man they got biblical themes built in. They make for great drama. Do you look at the idea of technology and robots as like a life form that human beings are responsible for igniting and starting in the world? Marshall McLuhan, I think it was, someone just told me this quote the other day. It's a brilliant quote. mccluhan i think it was someone just told me this quote the other day it's a brilliant quote he said um that humans are the sex organs of machines like isn't that a beautiful quote there's ways of looking at see this is one thing that as a roboticist you have to do this you have to look at a human being from a totally alien perspective right so? So, like, and I have a point, but, like, if you look at, like,

how to do speech recognition or something, or just emotion recognition, from a robot's perspective, we are just moving pieces of flesh around on our faces into different configurations, and then that conveys some sort of inner chemical state. I mean, it's not intuitive. It's not easy to figure out. And you can look at

humankind as like, all we do is we cover the earth in lawns. We are slaves to grass. Like, if it wasn't for us, you know, grass wouldn't really exist everywhere that it does. And so if you look at human beings from sort of these alien perspectives, sometimes cool shit falls out. And some people do think that it's our destiny to create the next intelligent life form, you know, and to set it free. And then those people usually think that it's our turn to retire. Hans Moravec, he says, you know, once we do this, children of the mind, right? Once we make the robots, then we're done. We're finished.

We achieved our goal. I disagree. It's so terrifying, but the idea that there's a reason why dinosaurs aren't around anymore. Because they got wiped out. Something better came along. We like to think, and it's called people. Now we're the new head of the planet. But why would we think that we can hold this spot forever?

It doesn't make any sense. Well, I think that we're going new head of the planet but why would we think that we can hold this spot forever i mean it doesn't make any sense well i think that we're gonna evolve with our tools yeah oh so are we gonna become a part of a computer are we gonna become a symbiotic organism you know i just so my i wrote a book about it um it's called amped and it came out this year and it's basically yeah it's about thinking about like what happens when we start integrating this technology into our own bodies. And just not thinking about crazy science fiction, far out stuff, just thinking about right now. What's really cool about this to me is that the people who are getting this are people that have real serious disabilities. To people who are willing to have a hole drilled in their skull and like a neural implant placed in the surface of their brain to improve their quality of life. And it's

not like Tony Stark, you know, or like rich kids that are, you know, getting a leg up in school. It's like the most vulnerable, challenged people in our society are getting this technology. And in some cases, it's making them it's not bringing them back to normal it's taking them past normal and so people with disabilities are like becoming people with super abilities and it's a pretty cool trend to watch wow that's amazing because i mean what what's it going to be like when you realize that hey if you really do want to be the fastest sprinter on the planet, you've got to cut your legs off. Team!

Because there's just no way to do it. Oh, my God. That hurts my brain. Or be lucky enough to be born. You know why that hurts? Because I know someone's going to do it. You know, you think about- Don't you think someone's going to do it? Armstrong and, you know, I don't know.

You mean Neil Armstrong? No. The no I went on the moon no no oh that Lance guy that Lance guy well do you make that akin to hacking your legs off taking performance enhancing drugs well I think that's a little bit a little bit crazy no there's a leap right I mean there's definitely a leap which is you got to go back to go forward right like because without the without performance enhancing drugs you're you're still not like disabled like oscar pistorius he competed in the the london 2012 olympics right the guy has no legs below the knees he ran alongside able-bodied athletes on prosthetics

like super advanced prosthetics if you take those prosthetics off of him he ain't going anywhere right and that's a difference i mean if you if you takeetics off of him, he ain't going anywhere, right? And that's the difference. I mean, if you take somebody off of performance-enhancing drugs, they're still capable of doing whatever it is that they were doing, just slower or not as well or whatever. Yeah, it's an interesting thing, the performance-enhancing drug thing, because by keeping it secret and by hiding it and by sneaking around it, what, I mean, take all the moral arguments out of it

when it comes to like cheating and, you know, and achieving victory and unseemly methods. Most of the people that do that, they think that they have to do it in order to compete. They think there's hidden rules, right? Yeah. And they're keeping with the hidden rules. But I think it's also like really dishonest to the actual, the issue becomes, it's dishonest

to the actual idea of human ability. Because human ability under these incredibly enhanced conditions is quite a bit more than regular person's ability. So we have these distorted perceptions of records that have been achieved through... We need to know. If we're going to all decide that they're going to take... We're looking for bedrock.

We want that definition of human, straight up, natural human. I want to compare myself to Babe Ruth and have that shit be a straight comparison. It gets to be a weird situation when you've got a bunch of people introducing all these

alien things into the body. And eventually it probably will be parts. It probably will be. That's why this is scaring me so much when you said that. Because I'm thinking of someone actually chopping their legs off and giving themselves robot legs. Well, you know, I don't... Somebody would fucking do it, man.

There's a cool book called Machine Man by Max Barry, which I love any book that's written from the perspective of, like, an autistic person, because a person with Asperger's, you know, because if you read books that are from those perspectives, they tend to be really Hemingway-esque. Like, the short sentences, they're easy to read. I really like them.

But anyway, there's a book where that happens. It's a good one. Machine Man. Do you think that it would be as simple as we would engineer them so we could shut them off? That's how we could avoid that. Is it possible? Sure, think about that.

You shut them off. If you have a robot that... You don't shut an elevator off whenever it's got like 20 people on it it's 100 stories up like there there are circumstances where you know you have to have uh what do they call it graceful failure or graceful degradation or something where it needs to fail gracefully it can't just fail all at once. So if you shut it down, it needs to shut down in stages so that it doesn't hurt people. But yeah, I think kill switches, emergency stops, those are a huge aspect of building safe robots, you know, but it's not the whole story. It seems like the real issue would be how much of the human

It seems like the real issue would be how much of the human ideal of life would we program into it. If you were going to engineer a life form, which essentially you would be able to do if you had a robot and you turn this computer into some sort of a sentient being, what aspects of the human psyche would you engineer into it? Would you engineer into it a sense of survival? Would it be able to understand that that's illogical and override it? And if it was, you know, that strong, and if you gave it some autonomy, or would it just go with it? Yeah, you know, the thing that's scary about this is there are, there are an infinite number of minds that you could really create, you could create totally alien minds that just meditate on things

that we could never comprehend. You could create minds... I'm freaking everybody out. You're freaking me out. Totally freaking me out. I think there's some story I read where there's some... Well, actually, I wrote a story

where there was basically a robot that was designed to paint happy faces on things, and then it goes nuts and runs amok, and it just paints happy faces on everything, and it ends up destroying the universe painting happy faces because that's the way it sees the world. I think there are a lot of people who think a lot about Ray Kurzweil, for instance. He's really obsessed with this idea that we're going to upload our brains into machines and that we will basically have a machine that simulates every neuron in your brain and then you'll live inside and you'll live forever inside the box,

right? That's a great example of giving a human, you know, experience, like a human life to a machine so that it knows what things are like from our perspective. So it knows you don't step on babies when you're walking across the room. That innate nature that we have. I think it's important that we do convey our ethics to the machines that we build

so that they behave in a way that allows us to coexist, you know? Hopefully, or we're done, son. It's one or the other. Because if it's us versus them, they're going to be able to figure shit out so quickly. They're going to be able to make better versions of themselves very quickly. Yeah. And that's the idea of the singularity, right? Is that we just bear his definition.

We create a machine that's smart enough to make itself smarter and then you kind of have a runaway feedback and it gets smarter and smarter but but i don't think that that's something that is really going to happen anytime soon isn't it a possibility yeah oh i absolutely think so why would you be confident in thinking that it's not going to happen well because because we're it's sort of like if we were alive with Jules Verne and we were discussing, well, what shape should the capsule be when we go to the moon? We're not close enough to solving that problem to make informed decisions about how we should solve it. You see what I mean?

Right. I see what you're saying. We're going to have other robots in our lives a lot sooner, and those have more immediate problems to solve. Ethical problems, too. Yeah, like robot fuck dolls. Right? For sure. For sure, that's going to be an ethical issue.

It's going to be like a slavery-type issue. If you have a really good form of intelligent life that you've created, it's an artificial intelligence, and you have it as a sex slave, that would be fucked up, man. The sentient thing, created it's an artificial intelligence but it's and you have it as a sex slave see but the thing is fucked up man the sentient thing like the thing where they're smart enough to to for us to worry about all these ethical things i think that's far away i think you think so no it's it's all about human beings man like so for instance the real problem when you make a fuck doll is do you allow a person to uh what happens to the people who interact with it so

if you have a guy who goes home every day and he beats the crap out of this doll right is that okay if you built the doll should the doll call the police should the doll take it and your decision there as a roboticist as a scientist product designer whatever designer, whatever you are, you're making it, you're just, you're designing an ethical interaction between your product and a human being. And your decision can affect whether this guy hurts a real woman, you know, or, or if you're building toys for children or really lifelike pets, you know, and a kid sticks the fake dog into the microwave, like what happens, you know, because my gut feeling is, is not okay. Right. Yeah. Uh, the, the animal should react. And there's, there's actually research on this. My wife's a child

psychologist and at, at university of Washington, she's at in Portland where I live, but before she was at UW and they have this research there where they basically took, let me see if I can get this straight because it's kind of fascinating. They take these kids and have them play tic-tac-toe against a virtual head, right? It looks like a person. And then they have a scientist walk in, and in half of the experiments the scientist says to the robot head, hey, that was a really dumbass move.

You're stupid. And then half the time the robot head, hey, that was a really dumbass move. You're stupid. And then half the time, the robot says nothing. And the other half the time, the robot says, hey, it's not okay for you to talk to me like that. And when they asked the kids later whether the virtual head, you know, deserved to be, like, treated with respect or whether it was smart. They asked these kids all these questions. If the robot demanded moral treatment, then the kids thought that the robot deserved moral treatment. If it didn't, they thought it was okay to abuse it. And so it comes right back down to it.

When you build a robot, you're building an ethical interaction. Wow. You can mess it up, I feel like. That's fascinating. you're building an ethical interaction wow you can mess it up you know i feel like that's fascinating that's uh that's that yeah you can't allow something to just be brutalized and to take like punishment and to not you can't like make a person you can't make an artificial person that future right where people are followed around with like perfectly human-like robots and they just abuse just beat the shit out of them and yeah man i mean that would very quickly warp i think the

oh yeah of all of humans it would create sociopaths because yeah we acclimate to whatever we're around you know yeah especially if it's indistinguishable unless we're already robots and we don't know what do you what do you buy with this simulation theory thing, man? Do you ever wrap your head around that? Do you ever fuck with that? No, lay it on me. It's this new thing. And these are legitimate scientists who are considering this.

It's Robot Cam, the damn matrix again. The idea of the damn matrix. The idea that we're in some sort of an incredible computer program and that it's so complicated and so well done that it's indistinguishable from real life and that we can you know we're interacting with things but that the more they study string theory they're studying the in the computations of string theory they

keep finding this self-correcting computer code i don't understand what that means and but i understand it's a very specific type of computer code that we didn't even figure out until like the early 20th century i think they think i think they said we figured it out in the 40s or 50s or something like that if i remember correctly but the the idea that this is in these these string theory equations that they're putting together i don't understand mathematics but what i think they're trying to say is like this is this is there's an eerie code to all this that's not just like we don't know what the code is but we can see that there's some repeating patterns no no no no

they it's it's a very specific type of code and that's when they're studying the nature of reality So the nature reality is it's like one of its smallest measurable forms is very obviously computer code seven 42 it hike it doesn't it doesn't seem like It doesn't seem like if technology moves in the direction it's going right now, if our computers get more and more powerful or our CGI shit is more and more believable, we've got to keep moving until one day we reach a point where we can simulate reality. Right?

It's going to happen. Yeah. And if it's really fucking good, it's going to be just like this. Dude, is that a – I'm trying to think. Running Man. Was Running – is that in Running Man? That's whenever they recreate the fight, you know, out of the computer models. I mean before all that happens, we're going to be able to – I can't wait until the day when I can say, all right, television, whatever you are now. I want to watch like Running Man, but I want – instead of Arnold, you know. I want to watch Running Man,

but instead of Arnold, I want Jeremy Renner. No, Megan Fox. I want an all-female cast of naked. And you have to follow them with a reality show camera as well. Get them all in a house together, make them live together. Oh, that's awesome.

It just maps their bodies onto it. And and that would be like the ultimate ironic one to watch because they do that in the movie when how long before we have our first robot action hero wait so what do you mean by robot like a guy in the movies we could have like yeah yeah like a robot actor you know so you'd have like all r Ryan O'Neill's qualities with Arnold Schwarzenegger's masculine bravado and Brad Pitt's acting chops or whatever. Just mix it all up together and make the perfect robot action hero.

Joe's pouty lips. My lips are not pouty. Yeah, they are, dude. Look at, they're so pouty. Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Do you get injections in them? Yeah, I just punch dude. Look at, they're so pouty. Son of a bitch. You son of a bitch. Do you get injections at all? I just punch myself in the face.

I hate myself. Yeah, I'm sorry. All I'm sitting here thinking, I'm just thinking of Calculon from Futurama. Calculon! Sorry, he's like, he's an actor. A robot actor. He's a robot actor.

Is that possible? Could they ever make, like, you know, are we going to have human beings that are that indistinguishable? The question is, like, would you bother, because you could just create them in CG, right, and make them perfectly realistic, would you bother creating the real-world version?

But I have to say, I'm super excited because I have a short story that got picked up by this director. He's sort of a budding guy in London, right? But he's making a short film based on this thing, and he's negotiating with... It's a story about a guy and a robot boy that he lives with because his real son has passed away.

And we got Lambert Wilson, the Merovingian, is going to be in this thing. And then he's working with a university to get an actual robot. There's this thing called the NAO humanoid. It's the size of an 8- to 10-year-old kid. If you Google it, I mean, it moves like a real human being, and they're going to have it as an actor. It's just a short film, but, I mean, it's going to be pretty cool.

It's going to be a real robot acting in a movie whoa god damn man i've i saw there was a very uh intricate japanese robot it was a woman that was uh have you seen that one it's very emotive well was it it was a woman yeah it was just a head okay because there's there's the actroid is that that the NAO? Is this it? See, that's not the one I was thinking of. I got the wrong name. This is so freaky. This is so weird. There's a robot on the screen. Folks that are listening to this on iTunes, there's this robot on the screen, and it's

walking around. It's so weird. That's not the one I was thinking of. Oh, my God. They're so good now. I will destroy you. I mean, they really are like what we hoped robots would be when we were kids. Remember Lost in Space?

That stupid fucking garbage can? It was a garbage can robot. That was the dumbest looking robot ever. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. All he had were those little Tyrannosaurus arms that were just out all the time. Yeah, he had arms that would clip, and he had to do their bidding, always. People loved him. People still love him. Yeah, they loved that robot. People, and he had to do their bidding always. People loved him.

People still love him. Yeah, they loved that robot. People are really obsessed with that robot. What was that robot's name? He was Robbie. Robbie the Robot? Yeah, from Lost in Space, but he was in a lot of stuff. Oh, really?

Yeah, and there were different versions of him. He's always hard for me to pin down in my head because he was around for a while. Brian, pull up Robbie the Robot. Let's see what that looks like. I haven't looked at that in years. So one kind of cool thing about robots that I've noticed. No. Yeah, you son of a bitch.

That's Robbie and his friend Jeff. No. Robbie the Robot. What are they doing to each other? This is Robbie the Robot, man. It looks like that. You see that, Brian? Okay.

Danger. Yeah. He was actually pretty Man. He looks like that. You see that, Brian? Okay. Danger. Yeah. He was actually pretty badass. He's big. His arms would just come out of the center of his chest. But he always had to listen, no matter what. Will Robinson would be like, listen, bitch. We're going to go exploring.

He was like the first gay robot, right? No, no, no, no. The other dude was the gay guy. Because Lost in Space was a weird show. They had a guy who acted really obviously gay. Look at that. That looks like a fucking disco floor. Look at that. Seriously, those are gay robots.

What was the dude's name? Was it Vincent Price or something? No, no, no. How dare you? So do you like this TV? Oh, I love this TV. Do you like this show? The original Lost in Space was a crazy show, man. It was from 1965 to 1968.

They would, like, land on planets and shit. Well, they were marooned. It was like Gilligan's Island, except they were on some tiny planet. Yeah. They've been some great ones. I mean, I always used to love Small Wonder when I was a kid, you know? There have been some great ones. I mean, I always used to love Small Wonder when I was a kid, you know?

That was one with Vicky, the robot who the dad is a roboticist and he brings her home to, like, test her out. She sleeps in his son's closet. Jonathan Harris was Dr. Zachary Smith. Dr. Zachary Smith was, like, the first, like, pretty obviously gay character on television. That might have just been all the spandex unitards that they were wearing on that show. first like pretty obviously gay character on television. That might have just been all the spandex unitards that they were wearing on that show. Well, he was very eccentric.

I mean, in this really feminine, apologizing, sobbing way. But he was a villain, right? I mean, he was always the scheming bad guy. Well, he was always dumb. Just ruining things. Yeah. Stupid. Stupid Dr. Smith. And he was like his ego would always be his folly you know yeah that was a great show man well these they're really fun to watch today

because it's like you know they thought this was going to be like 1990 like that's how we're going to be living like living in colonies in space and so this this sort of uh idea of like manned space travel never really materialized the way a lot of people thought it was from the 1960s so you get this weird idea of what they thought the future was going to be from these shows it's really fascinating you know i think they i think they actually misjudged human nature like there's this idea that we've accomplished this amazing feat by going to the moon right we planted a flag we walked around like we went into the uncharted will you know depths the wilderness like it's an amazing thing to do and you think that that sort of raw awe-inspiring event is going to propel

mankind into the stars but actually we were just competing with the russians and it was just it was enough to put a flag there. And the instant that we need to go beyond that, I think, is the instant that some other nation plants a flag next to ours or knocks it down. Or plants a flag on Mars. Yeah. I mean, it's all about just like pissing on trees, you know. The trees just keep getting further away from Earth. Well, it's also to let you know, like, look, if we can go to the moon, we can launch missiles

on your head from space. I'm going to let you know. Yeah, I'm going to let you know. I'm going to let you know how we run and shit from orbit, bitch. Yeah, except we can't. I mean, if you,

to be the first person to set up a base on the moon would be an incredible military advantage. I think the Chinese are going to do it. I think it's going to be a great thing

because it's going to excite those territorial groups. Dude, could you imagine if we actually start having bases on the moon? If people actually started doing that. If they developed the technology to one day have bases on the moon. And we would go there, like going to fucking Hawaii. It's like a 24-hour trip in the shuttle. I totally believe that.

Because, I mean, it's like something tragic is going to happen. Like a lot of the land is going to be poisoned or something. Well, the moon is fucked, man. They would have to terraform on the moon because the moon doesn't have an atmosphere. Yeah, that ain't going to happen. They could do that someday. That's the whole premise of Prometheus is that they were terraforming that planet. They were trying to make it habitable for their life form.

They're going to be able to do that for sure one day. People always argue that we're going to screw Earth up so bad that then we're going to have to go to Mars, the moon. But the resource expenditure to leave Earth with a lot of people and even just to go to the moon, much less Mars, is so out of whack. I mean, you'd be better off almost doing anything to fix the Earth or just eking it out here. I mean, you'd be better off like almost doing anything to fix the earth or just eking it out here. I mean, let's face it.

If you poison the earth's atmosphere so that you can't even walk outside anymore. Right. Or you screw up the atmosphere so that we're getting radiation from. Well, guess what? That's Mars. Why go to Mars to build a fucking like dome, right? Just build a dome in Arizona. Right.

I mean, you don't have to go to Mars first. No shit. stupid so it's not i don't i've always thought that was bullshit the idea that we're gonna mess up earth so bad we have to go to mars well the only way i could think that we could do that though is like nuclear shit yeah okay so there's a massive nuclear uh holocaust all across the country across the world we all launch bombs at each other and just wipe out yeah they would make so many areas radioactive. They would almost be like you can't live here anymore. You know, that would still be pretty tough to do, I think. Just because like...

Really? Yeah, because you'd have to launch all of them at the exact same time, right? And then they'd have to land all over the Earth. I mean, if you think about when we first got nukes, we were doing crazy shit. We were launching them all the time in space we showed a video in the water on the show we showed a video of all the nuclear explosions from 1947 it's online you can get it uh it's on um i forget the website but it shows the first tests and then it shows hiroshima and nagasaki and it shows all these different ones they did in Nevada Nevada's crazy oh dude they

were nuking the shit out of everything so my favorite is project plowshares okay this is like Iowa or something and here's the notion we're gonna mine for natural gas uh there's the gas is trapped in all these frack now we run water through it's called fracking right but they're like we're gonna free up all this natural gas and harvest it by detonating a nuke under the ground so they drill this giant hole they drill this giant hole they put a nuke at the bottom of it they they fill the hole up and then they detonate the nuke here's what happens highly irradiated natural gas shoots out of this chimney it ejects all ejects all the crap they put in there. It goes into the atmosphere.

All of the natural gas is poisonous. It's got radiation in it. And they're like, oh, well, that's not a good idea. It's so much for turning swords to plowshares, right? When did they do this? This was not that long ago. I would say the middle of the 20th century, but I don't know for sure. Here's what I know about it.

Do you know what the name of the operation is called? I think it was called Project Plowshares. Project Plowshares. Yeah, look it up. The reason I like it is because I was thinking, and this is a little bit of a spoiler, but while I was writing Robo-Apocalypse, I was thinking, and this is a little bit of a spoiler, but while I was writing Robo Apocalypse, I was thinking, look, if I was a super intelligent AI, right, I'm not going to hang out

and have all my processors like in a place where humans are going to be comfortable, right? So what's my fortress of solitude, right? So when these nukes detonate, they vaporize a spherical chunk of like rock underground and they create this chamber

and the walls turn to glass right so it's this bubble deep under the ground highly radioactive oh my god it is the ultimate fortress of solitude and it's of course where my bad guy lives oh sorry i kind of blew that dude that's dope though i want to read that again that is a dope idea that we would create a place where the bad guy lives, because we're so stupid, we blew up nukes in a hole that we dug into the ground. That is true. You know, it's always, it's what with the hubris, you know, all the hubris. That's insanity.

I can't even believe. Now, is that a case of people just having too much power, because it's a military project, to do whatever they want to do and the scientists are allowed to say hey let's try this like some wacky scientist this may not be a popular viewpoint but i think it's awesome i think it's optimism i think it's like human the human race as a little kid who has stumbled across like this awesome new toy and they're like what can we do with it oh let's try everything you know because like in the 50s we had used technology to end world war ii people were high on technology they were like man technology is going to do everything

for us like we're going to eat it it's going to be food pills we're not even going to have to eat this bullshit that earth creates for us. We've come full circle now. It's all about organic, and we are afraid of chemicals and afraid of technology. But in the 50s, that was like the golden age. It was like, we're going to have atomic pens. I don't know why we need atomic energy in our pens, but damn it, we're going to have it. And I wrote a book called Where's My Jet pack that uh covers all this stuff i'm sorry

i keep dropping all these book names dude your books sound fucking awesome i know right i i even had a joke about that you'll never have like weed and jet packs together at the same time inebriated human torpedoes yeah that's that's what happens yeah plus no one would work because why would you show up at work when you could smoke pot and fly? There'd be very few things that you would be having more fun at than smoking pot and flying around in a jetpack. Or would we just be in a future where Louis C.K. stands in front of an audience and says, why is everybody complaining about jetpacks?

You're flying, people! Well, that would definitely happen. Yeah, we would just get so sick of it. Oh, fucking jetpacks, I've flying people. That would definitely happen. We would just get so sick of it. Fucking jetpacks. I've always got bugs in my teeth. I'm tired of getting my natural gas to fuel my jetpack. Why can't we make a fucking solar jetpack? It's 2037. We'll always

complain for sure, but that's why things get better. It's really important. You've got to be able to silence even the most bitter of critics. There's certain things to a badass jetpack i think would be that you can actually have a compact sort of a light backpack sort of size thing they can actually fly around with so i i can i can give you the lowdown on on the jetpack because i you know i remember all this right so uh 40s wendell moore got a uh a grant from the army to build a jet pack. And so he's working for Bell Aerosystems. This is a guy who specialized in building small rocket engines,

basically airplanes that are flying really, really high. There's not a lot of atmosphere, so they can't plane off of it. So in order to change direction, they fire these little rockets, you know, like it's like a spacecraft type deal. So he took one of these little rockets and he literally strapped it onto his back and tethered himself to the ground and just turned it on. And he broke his knee. He shattered his knee actually immediately, but it worked. So then he literally hired the kid who mowed his lawn, a guy named Bill Suter, who was like 19, hale and hearty, and Hardy, to test the jet pack. And they had a working model of the jet pack. It's called a rocket belt.

It's literally a rocket. And that's the problem, is that you just take the hydrogen peroxide and silver or whatever, you put them together, and then it creates an explosion. And the real hard thing is to throttle it so you don't just explode. And then it runs out of juice in like 30 seconds. And, you know, it's got a terrible fuel-to-weight ratio. And that's the problem, you know.

They put a buzzer in the helmet because they tested, they showed, you know, Bill Souter would take these things to the Olympics. They were in like that Bond movie. Like they would do this for demonstrations to make money after the program was scrapped. And they put a buzzer in the helmet that would buzz after 20 seconds, basically saying you better land right now.

You got 10 seconds before you just turn into a ballast. I was at WPBI. My friend Willie has a radio show there and they did this thing in the parking lot where a dude flew a jetpack

and we got a video of it were you there for that one? he flew it for like 30 seconds I think that's all it had you can only do it for like a minute I think they got it up to a minute or something it's pretty crazy but this guy's fucked his legs up.

Both of his knees are blown out from doing this. Like his ACLs are gone. So he's all fucked up from just crashing with this thing. The thing you would have to worry about is anything that has enough power to get you to be flying in the air has enough power to speed you into something. People would be smacking into each other. We would have to have – there would be no way they would let you just have a jet pack you would have to have some sort of a like like a bumper car outer shell we'll see man see that's like i think that's a great example

of of applying a current mindset to a technology that's in the future if they were really going to make it there's no way to make it safe. It would have to be controlled by a robot, basically. It would have to be like Google cars. Those Google cars. Yeah. Those Google cars are essentially driving around now. Yeah. They are.

A lot of people in Seattle were talking about how they see them all the time on the freeway just driving around like a guy in the back seat and no one in the front seat. Jesus. What the fuck is that like for that dude in the back seat this car's hitting the breakers and shit it knows when to change lanes i got into one of those uh at carnegie mellon where i went to school and i got into their autonomous car and drove with it

in the back seat while it was driving going around uh like a test track right and it was okay first of all the the wheel is turning by itself right and you're in the back so that's weird right but then it starts to kind of feel like uh i mean it doesn't wreck immediately and so you sort of start to loosen up a little bit and you you get the feeling that you're like on a ride you know like and you start to trust it like when you're on a roller coaster you know no one's driving it you just you feel you feel like you're safe but then what happens is i started realizing this car it didn't know i was inside it right so it's tolerant the tolerances for a car with nobody inside of it are very different than the tolerances of a car so it would like hit, it would sort of sense that there was something there that wasn't

you know, and it would kind of swerve and it would throw you around like really hard and you realize it doesn't give a shit like it isn't going to be like doing the mom thing where it throws the hand out in front of you like oh sorry dear. You know, this thing is just driving to the tolerance of

the engineering that it's designed for and you were just being thrown around in the back. Was the car losing traction at any point? You know, it was always safe. It was seeing how fast it could go because they're competitive. The DARPA Grand Challenge, the DARPA Urban Challenge, they had to go as fast as they could. And they didn't have a human in them at all.

So I was... That's scary. So now Google's different. You know, Google just bought Stanford's team. Essentially. There's a guy named Sebastian Thrun who got me into school at CMU. And then he worked on the autonomous cars at Stanford because Stanford bought him. And then Google bought, they took Sebastian. And now, I mean, this guy, Sebastian Thrun, he's going to change the world. He's going to introduce autonomous vehicles.

It's going to change our cities. It's going to save lives. It's really cool. I'm really proud of him. That's awesome, man. That's amazing. So do you think that's the future, that everyone will have their own personal autonomous vehicle? And they'll just queue in on the highways and whatever, and you'll be able to read the newspaper,

and your little vehicle will just, you won't be in control of it anymore well the first thing i'm not sure if people are really doing this where they're in the back outside of a closed course because um these cars require a person to be behind the wheel to take the blame if it wrecks oh i see so you're just sort of like a big meaty blame piece of blame machinery like that's the only part you play in the in this whole thing that's going to be a job in the future though like a fry guy but you're going to be sitting in the back seat of a car being the blame yeah i'm a blame guy in amped in amped there's a truck driver who all he does is he sits in the front seat and he's just there to take the blame. That's his whole job.

Wow. And he just drives cross-country 24-7 in these trucks. It will be a job, you know. Yeah, there will be a time where there are these robot machines just moving back and forth across the country carrying goods. Yeah, and you think about it and it's like, what is it that you can't put into the car and it's it's morality right yeah yeah and it has to make certain decisions like what do you do if a horse is in front of you yeah do you hit it do we yeah or do you slam on the brakes and risk losing control the vehicle or do you fuck it or do you just slow down put your arm outside the

window and say hey hey what hey, what you doing? Yeah, like people have said that about small animals, that like if you see a squirrel, you should just hit them. Because if you swerve, like people die all the time from swerving to get away from squirrels. But if it's a baby carriage. Yeah, that's a different thing. See, this is the shit that got me. That's a really interesting point. This is what got Will Smith all uptight in i robot right where at the end the big reveal for

his characters he's like a robot saved my life from a car but it let the the little girl next to me die because the probability of saving her life was lower and it's like how are you gonna blame the robot for that that's like saying i put my finger in a pencil sharpener and it cut me it's like that's what it's designed to do what are you not gonna hate the pencil sharpener i mean well you are for a movie though because the middle of america is not gonna understand i was bummed when that happened robot i was digging that movie and then i was like oh that's weak the cgi in that movie was dope yeah you know that what cracked up amazing work all those robots go nuts right and what do they do what do they do they turn red they got red you know there's that part where the robot is like

uh there's an old lady like in her house you know and she's like okay can you make me some toast or something right and the robot turns around and it's glowing bright red and i'm like what a thoughtful roboticist to to include a red led in there just in case they all turn evil to indicate to people, oh, your robot has flipped over into evil mode. You're going to want to plan accordingly. Dude, robots are scary. Robots would beat the shit out of you. Those robots in that movie, if there was a whole bunch of them and they had their own thoughts and ideas, I think that's very possible. Those robots are bullshit. Robots scare the shit out out of me how can you say they were bullshit because if

you're making a domestic robot that's going to operate in people's homes right it's going to be in people's homes old people young people it's going to be on the street walking dogs i mean i thought that was awesome right right here's the deal you're going to want to make a safe robot it's a safe consumer product okay so just think of this even just from the beginning for like one second from the perspective of a person who's actually building a domestic humanoid robot to sell. Okay, first of all, you know that a human being, anything you put in their environment at home, they are going to put their fingers in it. They're going to try to have sex with it. They're going to get in the bathtub with it. They're going to find a way to kill themselves using this. A toaster is really hard to build safe.

Think about building this domestic robot. I think the first thing that you're going to do is you're going to make it incapable of hurting people. You're going to make it small and light so that it can't walk through a plate glass window. So that if it loses its batteries and goes all George Bush segue and just falls over like then it it won't like crush your baby did that was that what happened to george bush he was on one of those segues and the battery died yeah either that or it wasn't

even on and he's you know i don't i'm not sure what was going through his head but he tried to mount up and it wasn't happening oh no um well those things need to be on they have a gyro yeah yeah so but anyway i mean so so the point the point i'm trying to make is if you're going to build a real domestic robots in someone's house is not going to be capable of crushing your fist with his hand or leaping through a glass window and falling three stories and denting the the concrete what the what a fucking waste of money right first of all well what if it's like how cars are today like if you buy like say a brand new mustang like a ford mustang gt in the old days they used to have like 300 horsepower they weren't that fast like the new ones just the standard

mustang gt you can get their over 400 horsepower. They're insanely fast. For this, I think it's like $30,000 or $35,000 or something like that. That is insane amounts of performance compared to what existed in the 1960s. If the robots keep getting better and better, people are going to want to have a Ferrari or a Ducati robot. Well, that's true. So people are willing to lay down a premium. And in fact, Carl Rentsch made this short film called The Gift,

and these people have this snooty-looking butler robot that is a total badass, like totally physically over-engineered for the job he does. And it's an awesome, awesome little film. And then they gave him 47 ronin i read this comic book when i was a kid when i was a kid i was super into like those black and white like really cool comic books like the creepy and eerie series have you ever seen that illustrated stuff well the crow was kind of yeah sort of straight up yeah black and this um there was

like all these compilation ones creepy and e and Eerie, were all these different stories. And I remember one of them, from one of those types of comic books, was about a robot that wound up fucking this dude's wife. And it was really heavy duty, man. Because the guy tried to fight the robot, and the robot snapped his arm and broke it in front of him. And the robot had this giant dick. It just it was really creepy because it was like this guy couldn't do anything about it and this robot was taking over and fucking his wife it was it was a really fucked up video because our comic book rather because i remember reading it when i was like god i couldn't have been more than like eight or nine you know that's when I was like really into comic books.

That was my comic book era. And so this image of this bald, giant robot with this giant cock snapping this guy's arm after he got done fucking his wife was like so disturbing. I was like, could you imagine if that's what you have to deal with? Just robots start coming along and fucking people's wives and snapping dudes' arms and shit? I think that's kind of the underlying fear, right? Of course. That there's going to be better at us than everything. And they're black robots.

Yeah, we get some of that mixed in. Yeah, at least it wasn't fucking him. Yeah, well, that was probably next. Yeah, that's like episode two. Fuck him with his own broken arm. Pull that's like episode two fucking with his own broken arm pull that thing off and stuff it up his ass literally it could do that that's some scary shit man well you know what's weird for me to think about is that you know we know that you can't beat a robot at chess i mean like we can't i mean maybe you could if you were like a master right

you can't beat a robot at jeopardy it will everybody's ass you know that you can't beat them on the battlefield like robots have dominated in a lot of different areas like since we've been kids right and we at least remember a time when you could beat a robot at chess and just be a normal person who likes to play chess every now the next generations they don't they've never lived in a time when a robot didn't dominate them at a lot of intellectual tasks and increasingly physical tasks. There's going to be people born that don't remember a time when cars didn't drive themselves better than humans can drive cars. And it's interesting to think like...

Well, how about the fact that right now we have people that have never known a life without the internet yeah or being able to look things up on smart that's crazy i want to know what i would be like if i was one of these kids you know what i mean i bet you got in you got in very uh very early though yeah but as far as like most people you you were tuned into the internet when you were in your 20s right uh? When you were in your 20s? Well, I mean, we had computers growing up. It was more like the internet was probably 18, but I've had computers my whole life. What do you think, coming from Ohio, coming from a place like Columbus,

what do you think is the biggest impact that the internet has to a place like that? Because now when you go back there, do you find these kids to be more tuned in than you were when you were their age it's definitely communication like back in the day the only way i would know anybody from another school or whatever is if i met them at a game or if i went to a roller skating rink and they were in the men's bathroom and they told me to come in a stall this is getting this guy gay as fuck what happened there are you okay no but but now i think it's like like like look at death squad ohio when we was in death squad there was like a group of like a huge group of people that are all friends now like good friends they're staying at each other's

houses they're you know flying in and getting each other at the airport and they're a gang now right and that's all because of uh the internet yeah so all the internet connecting all these different things in a way that's never happened before allows all these areas that used to have no culture coming into them. It allows them to experience an incredible variety of different things right out of their fucking

computer. Yeah, but on specific details, like really specific things that you're into where you wouldn't be able to get a critical mass of people that are into it if you had to be co-located. Like if you were a Bigfoot hunter, if you were a Bigfoot hunter and you live in any fucking town,

try finding a fellow Bigfoot hunter. That shit is hard, man. You can't, you know, order a cup of coffee and then so, what do you guys think about Bigfoot? You know, no one's going to talk to you

about Bigfoot. Now you go on the internet for five minutes, you get your own show. Boom. A lot of foot fetish guys trying to come to your house. Yeah, if you go, yeah, right?

I've had guys offer to massage my feet. Are you a Bigfoot lover too? Wait a minute. No, no, no. Sasquatch. Sasquatch. That's what they call me, honey. Yeah, it's really tough to be a Bigfoot person out there in the real world.

But on the internet, it's easy as fuck. You just join a forum. Everybody – because there's like a new Bigfoot video every couple weeks nowadays. Well, on the other end of that spectrum though, don't you think it also sort of cheapens your relationships? How's that? Well, so you can't have like – you can – I don't know about other people. Maybe I'm just a dweeb, but I can maintain about two good friends, buddy, like real buddies. And then like anything beyond that is really, there's a very narrow stripe of like acquaintances.

And then it's all, you know, you have all this time that you spend interacting with people online and it's a thousand people. And so, you know, and not to assign any value judgment to it. It's a different type of interaction than like intense, full bandwidth, one-on-one talking to somebody. But the advantage is that you get, it's one to a thousand. You know, you get to interact with like 999 more people. It's not as intense as just one-to-one, but you have a bigger, it's like more breadth and less depth,

is what I'm saying, you know? That's interesting. I think it's also something that we have to get used to managing. Period. You know, it's managing the amount of information that comes into your life and managing the amount of people that you're interacting with. It can, just any sort of social interaction

through a message board or Facebook or Twitter, you could get so absorbed in communicating with all these different people that you will never get anything done. It will eat up all your time. Yeah, and you'll be the guy looking at his damn vibrating monster cell phone all the time while you're out and your friends are just like, I hate this guy. This immersion, this human immersion to technology,

it disturbs me the most when i see people that are really really addicted to role-playing games that's where i see like like wow that's you could really get stuck in a black hole and lose your fucking life have you ever met anybody that's uh or known anybody i have friends that are super into role-playing games but also board games people get into but then also video games make make role-playing games so much easier especially the massively online Yeah, multiplayer stuff and a lot of times that seems to me to be just simple Escape like you just your life sucks or it doesn't suck, but it's just more fun. It's way cooler It's way cooler to play it in here and I chicken shit going out and getting gold and bitches

I played sword in here. Magic and shit, going out and getting gold and bitches. You realize you're smelling cat piss in your house. What the fuck is that smell? I hope not. God, why is my beautiful gray couch such a deal? I've seen some horrible shit online about parents who are neglecting their children because they were just completely absorbed in these online games. It goes the other way.

My wife's a child psychologist. She had a kid who was addicted to, you know, one of the online games. And in order to deal with him, she had to find his guild master, who is some, this is a kid who's like 13 or 14. She found his guild master, who's like a 30-year-old dude, you know, like in Eugene or something. And he comes up to Portland for a meeting and says, hey, man, dude, you know, like in Eugene or something. And he comes up to Portland for a meeting and says, hey man, like, you know, you've got a problem and I'm going to have to limit, like, the amount

of raids you can go on. And she had to, but she had to make that human element real, you know, because this kid had a real relationship with his guildmaster. They'd hung out for hours and hours and hours, you know. They were tight, but they never met, you know, and so they weren't able to, you know, she had to bring him in to look out for hours and hours and hours you know they were tight but they never met you know and so they weren't able to you know she had to bring him in to look out for this kid wow did you see the

lines for the new call of duty game last night oh man jesus christ there was people there at one in the afternoon outside of a game stop just like sitting in these lawn chairs and i'm like what who are these people savages yeah and then last night i was on sunset four blocks of just straight mob people waiting in line for a video game i'm like what the fuck i don't get that because like i woke up this morning and it was on my front porch thanks amazon you guys are like what oh you guys an extra seven hours or something well yeah you're not an addict though well and that's also the community right yeah they're there to chill out with each other yeah totally yeah look that's also the community, right? They're there to chill out with each other and talk shit. Yeah, totally. Look, that's a fucking fun game.

That game scares the shit out of me. Oh, it's great. I've watched Bruce Buffer plays it. He plays it at the airport. And I was like, you better keep that fucking game away from me. I'll lose my life. I'll have no life. Forbes article about a guy named Peter Singer who's basically a consultant for anybody, the CIA, all the military infrastructure. And they had him design all the robotic weaponry that's in the new Call of Duty.

And the shit is all super legit and really realistic. Jesus, those games are so immersive. You've got to have 12-year-old reflexes. It's like, I'm not going to go out and try to start a career as a gymnast right now. I'm too old. That's the way I feel about Call of Duty. I can't. Oh, you would just have to get absorbed.

You would just get better than my friends. I was really terrible when I first started out at Quake, but I got really good after a while. That was my addictive. Castle Wolfenstein, man. Dude, that was old school. That was like the first one, right? Wasn't that the first? Yeah, and you couldn't jump or anything.

It was flat. Well, there was Duke Nukem. I think Castle Wolfenstein was the first, and then came Doom. Doom, right, right, right. And Doom, they named Doom from that line in The Color of Money with Tom Cruise. Remember, Tom Cruise went out to play this guy, and Tom Cruise is like the best player in the country. And he had this crazy pool cue.

And the guy said, what you got in the case, boy? And he goes in here, and he opens it up, and he goes, Doom. And the idea was that their game was so badass that that's what they were going to do to the whole video game industry. We were going to drop some doom on them. They did. It was. In the 90s, it was all articles about those guys buying shitloads of Ferraris.

I know Carmack, man. I've been over his studios a few times. Those guys are really cool guys. And Carmack is like a real rocket scientist. In his spare time. What I love is that these guys are all really, really smart. Dude, he's beyond smart. He's dude. He's beyond smart.

He's one of those guys where I talk to him and I'm like, I'm not convinced we're the same species. I'm not convinced. He's so past just computer-wise what he's doing all day, the computations that he's making, the way he's redesigning these first-person shooters. He's like a super, super fucking genius. Having lived in Seattle, you meet these guys, right?

The ones that have started companies and are mad intelligent. And for me, they're always, it seems like, about five or ten years older than me. And I'm always pissed. I'm always like, damn, if I was ten years older, I and I'm always pissed I'm always like damn if I was 10 years older like I would have been on that scene I would have had a chance to like go nuts with it like they have like I have a buddy who who works for Bungie right he he makes Halo I mean it's a sweet job but when he was in college he wrote a textbook on how to program graphics and you know what that got him a job at bungie but it didn't get him a ferrari garage like didn't get him like every generation has these smart guys

but whenever they and girls and when they fall in you know it's all about how how much the field's been blown open right dude there's a lot of, like low-hanging fruit waiting on you. Of course, he'd probably bust my ass if he heard me say this. He'd be like, I earned it. Don't trivialize my accomplishments. He certainly did innovate in a big way in the first-person shooter world.

It was him, and there was that other guy that was with him with Doom, and then that guy left when he made Quake, who had long hair, had fabulous hair. He was a very controversial video game designer himself and those were the original id guys. But they went on to make Quake, Quake 2, Quake 3, each one of them got better and more intense with the graphics and it's like, the amount of hours of entertainment they provided with

those video games. Crazy to think about. It's like that just the amount of hours of entertainment they provided with those video games. It's like it's staggering. And this Call of Duty is on that's that's the next level shit. That's like the highest level. What I love is it puts Hollywood to shame. Like movies don't make this much money. Like movies are just they pale in comparison now to video games. They're way more exciting.

It's so you get so locked in on one of those fucking games and you're creeping around shooting at people i don't understand why video why movies aren't loss leaders to video games now it's almost it's always like yeah we're making a movie and oh and we're gonna have a video game it's like dude the money is in video games yeah make a movie just to get as like a pr campaign to get people into your video game because that's where the cash money is at yeah not a bad idea especially if you develop like one of these call of duty type franchises where it just becomes everyone plays it you know like you like ice tea is always on tv playing doesn't he play that he plays gears of war too right yeah you know what i did gears awards and other ones bought me a nintendo dude i i got i went to the thrift store and I bought an old TV and an old VCR.

Whoa. And you know what I found? Watching old school movies on a VCR and on a little bitty 4x3 TV, the graphics weren't as good, right? They didn't have CGI and all that stuff. I'm thinking Lost Boys and Terminator 2 and stuff. Right, right, right. Pretty good graphics, but not the best. You watch it on that little screen, it's convincing.

Really? It's low resolution. There's a lot of stuff that just goes right by. Well, have you ever seen an old movie that's been brought to Blu-ray? Yeah, I think, but I can't. Aliens, the second Alien movie, was brought to Blu-ray. And when you watch it on a modern television with a Blu-ray player, it's so hokey looking. Yeah.

The fucking background. There's a scene where there's a jet that's parked there or one of those, you know, whatever. Dropships. Spaceships. Five by five. And then the background is supposed to be like this whole warehouse area. It's so fucking fake. whole warehouse area it's so fucking fake i mean it's so obviously fake it looks terrible i mean it looks so bad it's so

hokey you're like oh my god like you're not supposed to have this at this resolution when the director made it he made it for a certain resolution that's when you deal with special effects you got to respect that you can't pump it up to blu-ray, you greedy bitches. You know why I bought the Nintendo? I have a daughter. She's two and a half, right? And she is not allowed in the room when I'm playing video games because it's intense. I'm playing Skyrim and it's very realistic. What is Skyrim?

What is Skyrim? I'm sorry. Way of life. I had to run away from the video games, man. I'm a fellow junkie. It's in the Oblivion series. It's one of those role-playing games, but it's single single player so you can finish it and you can leave your life uh but it's incredibly oh so you're playing against the computer you're not playing online in a total immersive world i

mean i can talk about skyrim forever and you're running it through your pc or yeah i actually bought a new gaming pc for to run this game oh my god a while, it was more fun to actually download all the mods to hype up all the texture mapping, all the water, the fire, the blood, the atmosphere, the weather. And what are you doing? Are you fighting people in this game? Yeah.

It's your typical Lord of the Rings ripoff. You're in a world where it's like that medieval stuff. There's magic and all that. It's really, really fun, but it's intense. And if I was playing it, my two-year-old, no way is she allowed in the room, right? And so one day she says to me something along the lines of like, you know, video games are scary. And I'm like, that's bullshit, man.

Video games are Super Mario Brothers is not scary, right? So that's why I bought the Nintendo. I showed her this. I was like, this is a video game, honey. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Just so that she's not terrified by what video games have sort of become. Well, especially if you're watching a man's or a young man's, something that's geared towards them. I guess there's a few women that want to go run around playing Call of Duty.

It must be. It's so popular. It must be women playing it as well, right? There's tons of women. But are there games that are geared specifically towards women? Someone's going to be waiting outside to kick you in the balls if you keep down this road of questioning whether women are playing these games. Because, I mean, they are.

They are in a big way, right? I'm just guessing. I don't know the community. I know there was a lot of women Quake players, though there was like a lot of girls that were really good that would play one-on-one duels with dudes and fuck them up and it was embarrassing as shit because you just get jacked and quaked by a chick have you seen the zombies in the new call of duty they have a zombie mode like and it's crazy as fuck you pull up a video yeah what was that i hope you guys enjoy so here's here's a just shows you a little bit of the zombies it's from mashima this is like the trailer we're looking at a trailer right now i'm getting really scared you

guys wow graphics are amazing it's just like what they can do now in a vid, just to, the CGI opening for a video game is incredible. This is like really dingy post-apocalyptic bus scenario. It's probably generated by the game engine, you know? Oh wow. Oh this is great. Are those soldiers? Yeah. And here's the...

Is there anything more fun than shooting zombies? Oh, dude, it's awesome. That is a negatory. Well, running them over, yeah, right? I had a zombie dream last night, man. The Walking Dead gets me dreaming about zombies all the damn time now. And they just hoard you. And you're pretty much just constantly having to try to get the fuck away from these zombies.

Isn't it funny that one of the most fearsome things that we can conjure up is a human being that's dead and wants to get you? Robots are kind of similar, right? We're afraid of the human form. Well, we're afraid of the human form in a diseased manner, too, whether it's psychologically diseased or whether it's 28 days later, that epidemic, that rage shit that got out. That was one of the scariest movies ever.

I got a whole horror movie theory about this. My theory is that the reason that a werewolf is scarier than a wolf is because the werewolf, because it has human traits, has the capability of being evil, right? Because a wolf or like an animal or just nature, it's not good or evil. Like you don't blame the wolf for,

for killing somebody. It's like, that's what a wolf does. But as soon as you inject some human into it, then you have something that's capable of just really being evil and just doing something for evil's sake. Yeah, I think that's a really accurate representation. If you stop and think about it, it's very rare that a wolf would...

Actually, I have a friend. Now that you think about this, I have a friend who had these wolves. They were his pets, and they were like seven-eighths timber wolf, and they had like a little bit of husky or something else in them. And they were essentially wolves, man. And he didn't really have good control over these things. And they got out, and they killed a bunch of the neighbor's farm animals. And they didn't just kill one and ate it. They killed them for pleasure.

Just to kill. So most of the time, I think wolves, when they're killing, they're killing out of starvation. They're killing because they want to eat. But I think they can kill a lot for pleasure, too. Yeah. Wolves actually kill for pleasure. They might, if they were fattened up, too, they might just fuck with you and jack you.

But the idea of a human... But really evil, yeah. Humans seem to be a lot more capable of evil than wolves well again it's the competition thing you know it's uh it's it's the the complexities of the possibilities of emotions that can be conjured up raising a child and doing a shitty job of doing it and putting the kid in horrible situations and and then all of a sudden that that what that person is at the most evil merges with a wolf you know the worst characteristics ever of a sudden, what that person is at the most evil merges with a wolf. The worst characteristics ever of a human being merge with a wolf.

And that's what a werewolf would be, like a just horrible, psychotic, killer animal. It's about knowing what you're doing. Hannibal Lecter freaks me the hell out because he's so aware of exactly what he's inflicting and it's like and that's what multiple like amplifies whatever evil act he's doing is the level of like satisfaction right getting out of it and and that really you know makes it worse i don't know yeah it does it was always disturbing how like well read he was and how aware of how fucked up he was but he didn't care yeah yeah yeah he was one of the most terrifying guys ever yeah and that's uh in the you know there was two versions of him too did you ever see the first movie uh god it was dragon's blood or something like that the very first what was the very there was a prequel to that right it

came out later but it was no i think i had. Right, it came out later, but it was... I think I had enough when I saw someone eating their own brain. I was like, I'm never going to forget this. It's going to haunt me for the rest of my life. The Red Dragon, I think that's what it was. And they made that a movie later. They eventually... Yeah, he had that tattoo on his back.

Oh, that might have been the one that freaked me out. That's where he's torturing the old rich guy. Anyway. I think so. I can't remember. I can't remember. I don't remember who the Hannibal Lecter was either, but he was very subtle. It was a very different take.

Oh, it was a different actor? Yeah, it wasn't Hopkins. No. It was some other guy. It wasn't Hopkins. No. It was some other guy. But yeah, that's that idea of the genius that wants to kill you,

that doesn't have any remorse whatsoever and is doing it because it's the only thing that gives him any sort of a feeling. Yeah. That's a terrifying thought. That's way scarier than robots, right? I think it's why people are the scariest thing, you know? So we have to worry about cyborgs, not robots. Robots maybe will save us from the cyborgs. It's all on the table at the end.

No, I don't know. Can you imagine? Because if it becomes like, what if it becomes the first country that commits their army to becoming robot cyborgs? Well, I mean, this is like a question with with whether we should implant ourselves you know and use neural implants to do things because you think to yourself well like okay you know we have all this bioethics and and we've decided that it's not uh ethical for people to do this because everyone would have to get one in order to compete right so so we're going to outlaw them and then it's like

oh in china they're their state they're mandated by the state and then it's like oh in china they're they're state they're mandated by the state you know it's like and they're getting real productive over there yeah and it's like oh you know you think about sort of you have a macrocosm view and then you have like a microcosm microcosm is everybody in my kid's classroom uh went to the doctor and got diagnosed with adhd and now all these kids have a neural implant and they're all way smarter than my kid and the macrocosm is like that but applied to like a whole nation you know that we're competing with dude that would freak you out if you were the only kid that had a natural brain in class and all the other kids had chips in their heads and you

couldn't fuck with anything they were saying there's a super sweet what there's a really sweet outer limits that's all about that where there's this one kid whose brain doesn't allow him to get this. So he's basically not on all the internet and social networks. And then all the other kids get their brains fried by a virus, and he's the only one that's cool. He reads books and stuff, and he saves everybody. I like The Outer Limits. The Outer Limits is an awesome fucking show.

I love the idea of the possibilities that science fiction presents. I just love that there's so many different, when you stop and think, especially when we're talking about Lost in Space, when they really had no idea what the future was going to be like. And you get to see what their vision of it was. It's so fascinating to me. Almost more fascinating than when we, like Prometheus, to me, what we're going to be capable of. It's like, I see what you're doing. A little bit of Microsoft Touch in there. She created a whole different environment.

Now she thinks she's in the desert. I haven't seen it, by the way. I know I should see. I've got a two-year-old. I can't see anything. You know what, man? It's hard to live up to the Alien series. It doesn't really. It stumbles a little bit. But it's still, I've seen it Alien series. And it doesn't really.

It stumbles a little bit. But it's still, I've seen it more than once. I've seen it again in a hotel room. I was bored, so I watched it again. It's a badass movie. I mean, visually, it's stunning. Visually alone, it's worth watching because there's some incredible scenes in it, just visually.

But the future, like the technology they present, doesn't seem much different than what we're capable of right now. That stuff really does influence actual science. People will take clips from these movies and everything and show them during their presentations and say, this is what we're doing. Specifically, Minority Report, where he's doing that. I mean, that was huge for human-computer interaction and HCI people. I mean, that was huge for human-computer interaction and HCI people. Like, suddenly that clip was showing up, like, everywhere at conferences.

And people were like, this is what we're doing. Yeah. Do you think we're going to get away from the keyboard interface in the near future? You think so? Yeah. There's so much research that's going into natural human interfaces. Because we have all this machinery upstairs that's got us geared to interacting with other human beings the way we interact. Face recognition, speech recognition, gesture recognition, emotion recognition. You know what I'm really impressed with is the speech recognition.

The iPhone has a native app that comes with it called Notes. And this Notes, when you go to enter into a new note it has this little this little button that you can press that looks like an old school microphone and uh you can just press it and you talk into it and you know daniel h wilson is a bad motherfucker so that's it and boom it reads it dude mine doesn't do that i have notes i gotta figure out where the's at. It's right at the bottom of the keyboard to the left of the space bar. Do you see how awesome that is? Yeah. I mean, I just said it for the folks at home who are listening to this.

I just said that into my phone, and it's instantly printed up exactly what I said. Daniel H. Wilson is a bad motherfucker. It is even spelled bad motherfucker correctly. Have you done this yet? Text Paris Hilton that I want to eat her asshole. Hey, man, that's just rude. What if Paris Hilton was listening to this? Message to Paris Hilton.

All right. Ready to send it? And it says, I want to eat your asshole. And I'll send it. Okay, I'll send it. Well, luckily Siri took care of that for you. Paris Hilton is in your phone? Yeah. Or does Siri just know? Huh? and I'll send it. Okay, I'll send it. Well, luckily Siri took care of that for you. Kara Hilton is in your phone? Yeah.

Or does Siri just know? Huh? Siri just looked it up. Oh, you can't see it. Well, that sounds... What you just did was very rude, young man, if you really did send her that. You were abusing technology.

You're a part of the problem. Whatever Siri did, I didn't do it. Even if she wanted her asshole licked, she probably doesn't want you bringing it up like that. It's like, Jesus, can we talk about it in private after a couple cocktails? Yeah, I like it, okay? I like it when I'm clean,

but I don't need it to be on a podcast, bitch. You're rude, dude. Every morning, 7.30 before she leaves the house. Your book, Robo-pocalypse, is a New York Times bestselling book. That's a pretty dope thing attached to your name. New York Times bestselling author. I know, man. I love it.

I got it on my Twitter handle. I'm going to eventually get over it, but for now, I'm still really into it. No, why would you get over that? You're legit. That's what everybody wants. That makes you a black belt in writing. I think it really is important. Because when you're writing for a living, it's really hard to convey to people whether you're doing all right or not.

Because you'll be at a party and no one knows who the hell you are. You're a writer, right? It doesn't really matter how successful you get. They're not going to know who you are. And you're at a party and someone says, what do you do? And you're like, I write science fiction for a living. And they're like, well, good luck with that, man. Hope that works out.

And it's like, well, no, I'm doing okay. We can talk about it. It's not embarrassing. Oh, that's funny. So they automatically assume that you failed? Yeah, I think so. Is it because you're not Stephen King? It's because it's really hard

to make a living writing science fiction. I mean, it's actually scary. I mean, the understanding is if you say I write science fiction for a living, the understanding is you do not get paid. You have another job. That's interesting because I would think

that there would be a big market for that. There is, right? Yeah, it seems to me there's a lot of people that are science fiction buffs. Science fiction's killing it, but yet it's still sort of got all this bad image problems from the pulp era. So Doubleday, my publisher, they promoted the book as a techno-thriller.

Not science fiction. It's a techno-thriller because there's a science fiction ghetto. There's a science fiction sub-genre. Yeah, and if you fall into that, then you go into a science fiction ghetto. There's like a science fiction sub-genre. Yeah, and if you fall into that, then you go into the science fiction. You don't go into the mainstream popular. What? You don't go on the front table.

You go into the science fiction area. That's so weird. You know what pisses me off? It's like science fiction is a bad word. The most popular book is like Fifty Shades of Grey. Yeah, it's fucking S&M. like yeah it's fucking embarrassed about science what do you think that's about man as a writer you see this poorly written bondo bondage book and it's doing really well bondo not bondo that's the shit for your cars bonda you know bondage sadomasochistic weird thing. There's a puddle on the floor.

It's about like a really handsome guy who likes to hurt girls. Doesn't he like do it on purpose or something like that? I haven't read it. I heard he's got... You read it, dude. I saw the look in your eyes.

He was trying to lie to me. I've seen a lot of people, I've seen a lot of people reading it in public and I'm always kind of like... That's like a porno. Why not just have a penthouse in public? I know,

but I kind of, I kind of like it. You like it? When you see a cute girl reading it in public, you're sort of like, you dirty bitch. I know, but I kind of, I kind of like it. You like it? When you see a cute girl reading it in public, you're sort of like, you dirty bitch. Dirty,

dirty bitch. Yeah, you're right. I didn't think about it that way. Yeah, maybe it's girls like putting out a signal, like they're down.

I had a friend who dated this girl and they were normal and he said she got this book, read the book and then the next time they were together

she asked him to spit in her mouth. And he was like, what the fuck? She goes, do asked him to spit in her mouth and he was like what the fuck she goes do it spit in my mouth and he was like what what the fuck are you doing i'm reading this book 50 shades gray and i'm just getting really excited about it and he's like what the fuck are you reading i was so he started like reading like what she was reading and trying to figure out why she wanted him to spit in her mouth i was at a uh i i was i went to oricon the science fiction convention in portland right so i'm at we have a hotel room uh for this sci-fi convention and my friend rents porno right on the tv and at the beginning and i've never seen this before at the beginning

before they played the the porn right there's a message that says these are unrealistic scenarios do not try this these people are like trained it was like the whole like do not try this at home and then of course it's just typical pornography right just very large objects going in very small places and it's true like i don't know if that's just a hotel thing or if that's just like all porn. But you can imagine the hotels are like, we really need to have a little disclaimer at the beginning because people are hurting each other. They're getting rowdy. We're spitting a fortune on sheets. If you talk to anybody that's in the medical profession that's done any work in the emergency room, they would tell you about all the various things that people stuffed in their body and then got stuck up there.

And it's crazy, man. I had a friend who, they had to pull a light bulb out of this dude's ass. One of those twisty light bulbs. You know those like, they're slightly thicker glass because they're kind of twisty? At least it wasn't a fluorescent.

Yeah, right. It had broken. It had broken in his ass. Yeah. They had to pull this out of his ass. Wow. Dude. They gingerly had to like walk him because he was afraid that if he closed down on his ass it would shatter inside of his ass and just shards of blood and there's a video of a guy doing that very thing there's a video of a guy with a cup oh my god it's horrific it's this time he doesn't do it with a light bulb

but he does it with a cup like a which is even scarier because it's horrific. This time, he doesn't do it with a light bulb, but he does it with a cup, which is even scarier, because it's a heavy, thick glass jar. And it breaks off inside of him, and he's pulling these chunks of glass with blood, and it's all falling out of his ass. And it's one of the most disturbing things you could ever see on the internet. You're welcome.

And just keep in mind, if you see it, you can't unsee it. Yeah, you don't want to see it but you do want to see it i can't even watch just no i don't like it because it's hush i just feel like it tasha should just rename it to somebody's about to get a compound fracture right wait for it it's like the new faces of death and you yeah and you never know right it could just be like some old lady crossing the street or like a guy taking a drink of milk and then compound fracture.

You want to see a broken toe, a horrifically broken toe? I'm not going to look at it. You're not going to look at it? Is it yours? No, Anthony Parash. He's a fighter that fights in the UFC, and he just had to withdraw from a fight because of a broken toe. It's pretty incredible.

You want to see it? No. No? Do you want to see it? I like to use the VCR method and lower the resolution by squinting. Yeah. You don't? Okay.

I'm not going to show it to you. I'm not going to show it to you. But it's one of the craziest things I've ever seen. It doesn't look good. Or I do the thing where I'm just looking at the bottom left of a screen. Yeah. So I'm like, I could see it like an arm. Yeah.

You remember the first time you saw someone die online? Like the first video, like the Bud Dwyer video or something like that? You're like, oh, wow, that's a guy dying. That's what it looks like when someone dies. Well, you used to have to go through all the trouble to get Faces of Death. And then it was a huge deal. And now it's like you're waiting for the bus. It's like, I think I'm going to watch 15 people die.

Yeah, Faces of Death was the same era for me as a friend who had one of those barnyard porns there was a few of those porns that were going around that were like so grainy and seedy and just yeah oh they're just horrendous you just got to think about what it was like to be this poor girl that was just blowing this donkey and the actual vhs tapes are always sticky and the stickers ripped off and sometimes you know the tape would get fucking broken and spool up and there were horrible horrible videos and it was like the resolution was terrible you know but but at least there was like a little bit of pageantry yeah maybe that's the wrong word no but gravity associated with the whole act of witnessing this terrible thing it wasn't so easy yeah you know you're right it was a big deal like we planned it out like one guy even had to watch the door right

like one guy watched the door and we watched it downstairs on this like is at the bottom like he was like he stood like halfway up the stairs so he could like still lean down and look over at this it was a little shitty ass fucking television we were watching this on and when we were watching that girl blow the horse we're like what the fuck we thought we could go to jail at any moment like someone could because i think the door in yeah i don't remember how old we were but it wasn't more than like high school age it was somewhere around high school age it was just the craziest thing to see ever to watch this chick have sex with animals like there was a dog she blew a dog have sex with animals like there was a dog she blew a dog she blew a donkey like there was a couple different animals that she'd have sex with

it's so weird yeah that was so hard to do it's like and we felt bizarre for like days afterwards you know everybody's just kind of like hey kids today they just laugh about that shit they think it's hilarious yeah rolls off of them i mean they they witness so much more so much faster yeah than we ever did and i don't know yeah there's a there's a weirdness to this life for them that just never existed for as far as we know for any human ever this this weird connection to almost anything if you leave your kid out in the world with an iphone you send them out in the world you're giving them access to fucking everything that's the whole world they might i mean they're not going to probably get taken by internet scammers from their iphone but almost everything else there's a times article right now where they're interviewing people like a bunch of different people about porn you know

the impact on society and then that there's somebody that says exactly that they're like look you know kids have access to everything. It's really impossible to limit that access. And so, and they're talking about how all this easy access to porn has affected people's sex lives. And apparently, you know, certain, they go through and they catalog which sex acts occur in the majority of videos. So they can say like 88% of videos have a facial, you know, and then they look and there's a direct correlation what happens in those videos is is what people want to do uh at home you know that's funny so like butt sex goes way up it must be they said like 80 had butt sex and then

four percent of people actually had butt sex which is what do you mean 80 in the video in the video 80 of the people did it but in the video 80% of the people did it but in real life 4% of the people did it yeah because there's a correlation between demands and what's in the videos

not so much a correlation between what actually happens because of the gatekeepers in this whole process are the females yeah

well that's why actually like go fuck yourself yeah we've always talked about like it must be so crazy in the gay community because there's not that female influence. Yeah, I said the same thing to my wife.

I said the same thing to her. I said, thank God that you guys are slowing us down. And God knows what's happening in that community because there's no breaks. Yeah, believe me. There's no way it would be the same. If men and women were the same, like, as far as, like like our veracity, it would be just like gay people. And it's not, you know, the men have to tone down for the women. It doesn't exist in the gay community.

They have a totally different, bizarre operating dynamic. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm sure that everybody acclimates to it. I guess they have less suppression though that way, you know. Certainly they know each other, they understand each other better. should know that way you know certainly they know each other they understand each other better yeah and i think that that also that relationship whenever you have gay friends and you see how their relationships you know to the extent that you that you see that if you're if you're a heterosexual and you're i mean obviously you're not seeing the whole story they're not seeing

your whole story in your bedroom either but i think that the those types of relationships each person has their own specific one and it affects each other you see that like you know uh my friends that are gay tend to have like relationships where they trust each other a lot and and they're a little looser it's not a lot of jealousy and stuff maybe i just have weird friends i don't know but uh but it's interesting you know they you rub off on each other yeah it's it's interesting. You rub off on each other. Yeah, it's interesting that they – it's just a different dynamic. And for whatever reason, the real issue lies in the fact that it's not legal everywhere, that they don't share the same rights as people everywhere. That to me is really bizarre because if two people want to pretend to be the husband,

what do you give a fuck as long as they're together? If one guy wants to pretend he's a woman, what do you care? Why do you care? They're just as they're together? If one guy wants to pretend he's a woman, what do you care? Why do you care? They're just two people that want to get married. The idea that you would have to have a certain sexual proclivity in order to engage in this marital contract is just so bizarre. And if you allow any sort of bizarre, any sort of discrimination that doesn't make any sense objectively,

if you allow any of that in our world, then it's going to come at you too, man. And if you don't take a stand for gay people that want to get married and for whatever reason, they're being persecuted by numbskulls and overly religious, crazy people. If you don't take a stand for them, then who's going to take a stand for you when it comes in your direction?

Who's going to take a stand for humanity? Cause it's just a person who happens to like men. Why do you let them marry each other? You fuck. What do you care them marry each other, you fuck? What do you care? Yeah, I agree. It doesn't make any sense. I think there are a lot of cultural mores or whatever,

however you pronounce that word, sort of stuff that people just think is obvious and it's just accepted. But times change. People, our relationships, how human beings interact with each other, even just like you think about people interacting over the computer, stuff like that. All that stuff changes.

And so all of the cultural stuff has to change too. And sometimes I'm glad that we do have a full spectrum of some people are just willing to embrace anything new, right? Especially with technology. You have all kinds of new shit getting thrown at us all the time. Other people dig in their heels and they say,'s take it slow you know let's not go nuts here and i think that's a good thing because we have so much change coming at us so fast that we need some people that are willing to embrace it and experiment with it other people that are and i'm not i'm off of the gay thing now by the way way. I'm on to technology. Thank God, dude. I was going to talk to you about this.

I'm on to people who are saying that we shouldn't experiment with stem cells. All of this scientific discovery that's out there and people are saying, no, no, no, we shouldn't study it. We should slow down. It is nice to have some people that want to slow things down. there and people are saying no no no we shouldn't study it we should slow down um you know it's it is nice to to have some people that want to slow things down well it's it's bizarre when religion actually tries to interfere with science in in ways that don't make any sense like one of my favorite ones was the pope talking to stephen hawking's and he told him that it was okay to explore the nature of the universe but it wasn't okay to explore the nature of the universe, but it wasn't okay to explore the origins of the Big Bang

because that would be like questioning God himself. Yeah. Like, isn't that hilarious? Yeah, you know. Religions, to me... Like, he was, like, telling him what... I mean, this was, like, our lifetime. I mean, Hawking's still alive, so this was in our lifetime.

The Pope was telling this guy... he's still studying the big bang just it's so silly that that could ever get to a point where it could happen where this nutty cult member actually could get into a position and in this day and age that could i mean it didn't have an influence other than to make a humorous anecdote but it's still what if he listened to reinforce his notions really i, but still, what if he listened? Well, to reinforce his notions, really. And who knows what his own psychological proclivity might be? There are some people that are subject to the influence of people that you wouldn't be or I wouldn't be, and in certain cases, like someone who's in a big position of power, like a pope.

Well, for thousands and thousands of years, religion is the bedrock. It's what keeps people united. It's what keeps them alive. like a pope well you know for thousands and thousands of years religion is the bedrock it's what keeps people united it's what keeps them alive i mean to have a shared culture you know i'm um like i have native american in my background right and i'm always really growing up i was always interested reading the history and thinking about you know why did native americans get basically wiped out and also Aborigines and things. And you think about the fact that like in Australia, all the different tribes in Australia,

they all spoke different languages and they were all like, they all had a certain amount of land and they were kind of in stasis. I mean, they, they fought with each other, but, but everything always kind of ended up the same. There was no one group that conquered all of Australia. And

then you think about Europe and other more bellicose places, China, you know, you've got, here you've got places where they enforce one culture on massive groups of people, right, through religion, and they're incredibly effective. They travel all over the world and white people out, they work together, they build cities there's great utility in having people think alike but then there's also a drawback and the drawback can be that

it's resistant to change and it doesn't adapt for new circumstances so it's almost like you could look at religion as an operating system on a cell phone. Like, you know, it allows you to get things done. But if you don't update it

and continually update it with the latest versions... Well, science naturally updates itself. You can always go back and prove something wrong, prove it for yourself, fix it, update it with new information. I mean, that's the strength of science. but that's scary because there is no bedrock. You know how much you don't know, and you really have to trust yourself a lot, I think, to really trust science because you are acknowledging that you don't know everything. You're allowing a thought into your mind that a lot of people do not find comforting,

and that is that no one is watching this thing. No one's paying attention to this, and into your mind that a lot of people do not find comforting. It's really scary. And that is that no one is watching this thing. No one's paying attention to this. We essentially live in a soup of madness. And that is the world that we actually exist in. And we want to pretend that we're in this strange Sandra Bullock movie where everything's going to be okay and everything's going to be normal. And one of the best ways to do that is to think that there's a guy that lived a long time ago that came back from the dead and he absolved you of all your bullshit. You just got to take him into your heart and you're good no matter how bad you've been in the past.

And they go with that. It's not about you believing it. It's about lots of people believing it. So you draw strength on other people. Yes. Good point. I think it's a natural human thing to do. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

I think it's an operating system. I think it's like a scaffolding for do. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I think it's an operating system. I think it's like a scaffolding for morals. I think of it as a policy. Like it's a set of behaviors, you know, for certain situations we'll behave this way. And, yeah, it glues people together. Sort of like when a guy wears a suit and a tie, he's going to be a gentleman. The gentleman, would the gentleman care for a drink? You know, I mean, God doesn't say that if, you know you're wearing like muay thai shorts and flip-flops and you're sweating

you know they don't want to have anything to do with you they wouldn't say would the gentleman like a cocktail they'd be like sorry you can't come in here naked with flip-flops on you know we want you to look in a very specific uniform way and that is uh that's how i know i can predict your behavior you're going to behave like a gentleman. Well, believe it or not, I can make anything tie back to robotics. I believe you could. That actually ties back in. When you build a

robot, what you choose to make it look like is a promise. It's a guarantee to the person that's going to interact with it. So if you build a robot that looks just exactly like a human being, then anybody that walks up to that robot is going to damn well expect that that robot is going to be as smart as a human being if you say what's up buddy it's going to say hey there pal and if it doesn't people get mad

you know which is why i don't think we're going to see super realistic like you know androids anytime soon because we don't have the the full package you know we don't we may be able to make it look really realistic but we can't make it behave in a really realistic way why is that i mean just because that's the hard part but is that i mean it's it's a temporary hurdle isn't it i mean with the way science continually grows in this exponential manner it's just that if they could figure out they can sort of figure out how to mimic various aspects of the actual human.

Yeah, I mean, we're making progress. Do you think they'll actually engineer in egos and things like that? Yeah, yeah. Self-respect? Or they'll copy it. They'll mimic it to the extent that you can't tell the difference.

What if robots start, like, revenge beatings, waiting for people behind cars, and people talk shit at them in a meeting? Socks full of doorknobs. Yeah, beat the fuck out of them. I think that would be a malfunction. Yeah, it would be, but you would have to...

Is there a way you could ever, like, in the Alien series, like, we've been engineered to never harm a human being? I love those aliens, bro. I love Bishop. Oh, it's amazing. he gets ripped in half yeah no fucked up the first guy was good too man the first guy was good too

spoiler alert spoiler alert in Prometheus there's another one yeah oh yeah what's his name the most substantial

that awesome actor yeah yeah yeah that dude I don't remember his name David is what they named him too which is weird alright I'll tell you who he is. Can we give the guy his props?

Some credit, yeah. Yeah, but he's amazing in it. It's, what the fuck's the dude's name? IMDB, son. Where that IMDB? That movie, it got a 7.3 rating. That's pretty fucking good. That is.

Iron Homeboy, what's his name so they announced we got anne hathaway is going to be in robopocalypse and hathaway that became official yesterday wow yeah i don't even know what part she's going to play but i'm kind of excited she's sort of a badass is she really well i mean as cat woman and stuff, she pulled it off. Any of that superhero stuff, if you can dress up in a gimmicky costume and pull it off and make it seem real, then you've got my respect. Right. I can't find this dude. I should know his name.

God damn it. Is it Rafe Spall? No. No, that's not it. Motherfucker. All all right i give up i give up props to him whoever he is yeah whoever he is he's a bad motherfucker what i don't seem they don't seem to have his photo here in the cast he was the robot guy it's not guy pierce no No. I give up.

Some people are screaming his name right now. Yeah, I'm sure someone on Twitter will tell me who the guy's name is. But yeah, he played an amazing robot. He did the best job, in my opinion, in any robot movie, of walking that creepy line where you think he almost feels slighted, but doesn't because he really doesn't have any programmed emotions. But he's recognizing that you're trying to slight him. It's very fascinating.

It's worth seeing, really, for some of his scenes alone. Especially, I can't tell you. For a really realistic humanoid, or android, I mean, there's a momentum behind the emotions right so even if it doesn't feel pissed off if it looks and in all the ways behaves completely consistently with how a human would behave then you're going to be sitting there waiting on him to be pissed off and even if his face is totally blank you're probably going to project on it and be like is he a little pissed off yeah because everything else is consistent. But okay, so he's designed not to be pissed off. Somehow it's hard to believe whenever you have a full working

model of how people behave and it's been trained on people. Also, the guy's name is Michael Fassbender. Michael Fassbender, yeah. Spoiler alert. Also, he actually acts in almost a vindictive manner to one of the guys who had been fucking with him in this movie.

It was kind of interesting. I got to see this. How they had had it set up. You know, like I said, it wasn't a terrible movie. It just wasn't what I was hoping it was going to be. Michael Fassbender. That's who it is. He played David.

He was the second one. There it is. His hair is a different color in this photo. I got confused. But, yeah, he's an amazing actor, man. His hair is a different color in this photo. I got confused. But yeah, he's an amazing actor, man.

That guy's... That's a skill that's going to be difficult when they start doing CGI movies, like completely CGI, like really replicating an actual human's emotions and the way a human like that guy can act. That's going to be really difficult to do. It's all the little things that the actors learn. I was watching...

I've been watching all the Chris Hemsworth movies because. I was watching, I watched Snow White. I've been watching all the Chris Hemsworth movies because he's also supposed to be in Robo-Apocalypse. Who's Chris Hemsworth? He's Thor, Mighty Mighty Thor. Oh, cool. And he's in Red Dawn, the remake, and he's in Snow White and the Huntsman.

He's the Huntsman. So I was watching that, and I can't remember the name of the actress. She's the one from Twilight. Kristen Stewart? Yeah. And she does this, she's really pretty yeah and she does this she's you know really pretty and she does this thing where you start to notice like that it's like almost her trademark

like she breathes really hard and then her collarbones sort of stick out you know and it's like that's like an acting thing like or when you notice their little nostrils are flipping around you're like that's why they get paid the big bucks that's hilarious they're like doing sea world shit and flipping out of the water and yeah that's funny yeah they uh they have very some people like they're the same guy in it like christopher walken he's the same guy in like almost every movie ever yeah right i read an interview with him he said that they started like now he has a clause in his contract that says they can't rewrite it to make it weirder when they hire him because he's tired of all the roles shaping to fit him instead of him having to act. Oh, that's funny.

Like so as he gets it, they look, we're going to have Christopher Walken and he's going to be on acid 24-7. And he only wears like flippers and golf shoes and shit like that around the house. And he was just supposed to be someone's dad or something. Yeah, I wonder if the variety of roles that he gets offered. Everyone's crazy. Every role that he does has got to be a crazy guy. And once you get typecast, I guess. Al Pacino, he's got to scream.

There's got to be at least one ranting, screaming scene in every movie. one ranting, screaming scene in every movie. I think after a while, these dudes probably get, especially after they get paid a few times, they really sell out hard and make some fat cash on a terrible movie. And I'm like, wow, that was pretty easy. It's one of those good problems, you know? Oh, I keep getting hired

and getting paid a lot of money to be myself. But Robert De Niro did a bunch of stinky ass movies, man. He did that one movie where he was like a gremlin or a warlock or something like that. Wasn't there a movie where like it was like one of those Hobbit type ripoffs? Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like, oh, God, I can't remember the movie. Well, you know, I saw.

But nobody saw it. In Snow White, there were all these dwarves, right? And I thought that they were little people. I shouldn't say nobody. And instead, they were real actors. Yeah, but they... I couldn't figure out how it was happening. Yeah, because they were famous actors.

Yeah. That was a big point of contention with the little people community. Oh, really? Because they were like, what the fuck, man? Like, these are the only gigs that we could take. take and instead you think it's cute to show off with uh you know like there's plenty of little people actors that would have loved those roles so it's kind of a that was a little touch and go situation like what is it uh hot bod bud hot what's his name

hot skins what is the guy's name? What roles does he play? He was one of the little people. Very famous. Fuck. God damn it. Now I'm going to make me IMDB this motherfucker too. I might be MD more today than I ever have in my life. But then there was the other movie.

You can tell IMDB was one of the first websites because they would never name it that, right? It would be like, they would give it a movie poo or something yeah movie time something like that yeah ym imdb internet movie database i guess it's easy to remember it's four characters man you can't get a website that's four characters boz hoskins that's homeboy's name he's four characters. Boz Hoskins. That's Homeboy's name. He's been in a gang of movies. Well, is he Willow? Bob Hoskins. Bob Hoskins was in, wasn't he in Roger Rabbit?

Wasn't he in that too? Yeah, he was. He was in Willow and Star Wars and like everything. Dude, this guy's been in fucking everything. This guy's been in a lot of shit. He's been in a lot of shit. But he's in that movie, too. See, I feel the same way about, in Robo-pocalypse, it's all Native Americans.

So I have this feeling that if the federal government were to fall apart, there are all these sovereign tribal governments that are around that have jails and cops and hospitals and everything that you need, right? Only it's smaller. And in the book, everybody ends up there. And so in the movie, I don't know. I haven't read the script. I don't know anything about it.

But I'm, like, wondering, are they going to hire native actors, you know? You would hope so, right? Because it's like an Osage army, basically. They would just have to maybe look a little bit more carefully. But I'm sure there's plenty of qualified people. Acting is of those things too man there's a lot of people that you don't know that can do it there's it's it's one of those things where there's so many people that have done theater and and they they can fucking act they know how to act spielberg's good at like getting people that aren't big names and scouting and making them big names but at least while

they're with him well you know i think when you've been in the movie business that long, you trust casting agents too, and a casting agent can tell you, hey, there's this kid, he's amazing, you've got to check him out, nobody knows who he is, but this guy's really got something special,

and he's perfect for this one particular role that he might have, but he's good at it. But some people just, it's kind of funny that we have this thing with movies where we accept that we're seeing the same guy

over and over and over again in a bunch of different lives. He's whooping some ass. I mean, in one movie, he's the last American samurai or whatever the fuck he is. In another movie,

he's a vampire. Now he's going to be Jack, the guy from the, who is it, Clive Cussler or something? Oh, man. From what movie? We're terrible, dude. Yeah, we're fucking up today. Anyway, yeah guy from the, who is it, Clive Cussler or something? Oh, man. From what movie?

We're terrible, dude. Yeah, we're fucking up today. Anyway, yeah, he's... I need some bulletproof coffee. He's playing a guy who is actually like six foot four linebacker. Oh, he's playing, is he playing? No, I was just thinking of Matthew, no, Matt Damon. Didn't Matt Damon play a rugby player, a famous rugby player?

Didn't he? No. I think he did. It seems like he could pull that off. Yeah. No, I mean he played the Bourne Identity movies. He's great. Yeah, I bought that. Although I bought the new

guy more. I bought the new guy, I believe the new guy was more natural as a killer. Who's the new? Jeremy Renner? Is that his name? Renner. Yeah. Hey, we knew somebody's name today. Yay! that guy's a badass i thought what i found was amazing about that movie though was that one of the things about that movie is that this guy can endure like incredible cold and pain he could do all these

amazing things physically and yet he also had incredible discipline and he never chased pussy it's like he they made him the most unrealistic superhero ever because like i was thinking about they were going over james bond today and they were talking about uh on the ron and fez show they were talking about all the different names for the james bond women and which one was the hottest and which girl which james bond girl they had a weakness because they portray that as his great strength yes this is great seducing women he's's doing this to them. Oh, yeah.

They're powerless. Instead of he's getting portrayist. Well, he's just not real. He's not even trying to get laid. He has no needs whatsoever sexually. But yet he flips through the air and lands on top of the roofs and beats the shit out of everybody. And carries this woman the whole way. But she just wants, that is like the ideal man.

All she wants is his pants. Women want a vampire that won't suck your blood and can go out in the daytime. but she just wants like that is like the ideal man women want a vampire that won't suck your blood and can go out in the daytime he just sparkles they want I mean

they want this super badass who doesn't want any pussy at all he's just your guard dog that he takes care of you everywhere he doesn't even

try to fuck you like this woman is unbelievably beautiful and he's saving her through the entire movie and they never even so much as make out is this Bond?

no no it's not Bond oh okay it's Jeremy Renner one of the new born identities. Right, because I was, okay. But I'm saying, at the same time, if you go back and look, they had a Bond movie called Octopussy. Yeah.

I mean, that is the most unsubtle play on words ever. I remember my grandfather had that VHS tape, and I was like, oh, yeah. I grabbed that one and popped it in as soon as he was out the door. Bond is always getting hot freaks. That was part of being Bond. He got laid like crazy.

And it was a good thing back then. But not anymore. A superhero can't do that anymore. Is the new Bond a philanderer? I don't know. Does he go and get some ass in this new movie? He must. I mean, it's his trademark.

He's going to have a martini. He's going to fire a neat gun. Yeah, he's going to win always in the end he'll be fine you know he might have a little cast on his hand or some shit like that but in the end he'll like meet the queen or something so i heard heineken paid a bunch of money so that he only drinks heineken beers during the uh during the movie it's unsubstantiated but well have you seen the video the the commercial rather yeah the that's pretty well done commercial for a beer and heineken was going that way already because they had all those commercials with dudes flipping through the air and he's just kind of a bond-esque kind of badass yeah so i guess that's okay it's not like heineken sucks no if they could pay him to only drink

heineken what's wrong with that i like heineken yeah the it's the principle of it what is the principle the principle is that it's product placement in a bond movie which is semi-sacrilegious is that it is it i mean i don't know kind of does it matter what movie it is yeah it kind of does the certain things like bond that are like sacred you know i mean bonds you got to go sean connery roger moore go mission impossible if you want to if you want to only drink like if you want to whore out your main character but they already whored out bond during the pierce brosnan era with with cars that was like wait a minute but he wasn't bond the daniel craig is bond okay daniel craig looks like a real

english bad motherfucker that could snap your neck that's the pierce morgan was or what's his name not pierce morgan pierce brosnan pier Pierce Brosnan. He seemed like a very nice guy, and I bet he's a hell of a good actor. He seemed like an English gentleman. Yeah, I did not buy him kicking people's asses. I buy this Daniel Craig guy fucking people up and killing people. I totally buy it. He's more compact. Daniel Craig?

Yeah, Craig. He's built like a pit bull. Yeah, he's thick. That guy looks like an athlete. When you see him with his shirt off and he's got a gun in his hand, you believe that's a guy who kills people for a living. That's a real special agent. Whereas with Pierce Brosnan, I'm like, bitch, I'm going to take your gun.

You can't hold on to that gun. Give me that thing. I'm going to pull your hair. Yeah, someone's going to hold you down and pee on you. I just don't buy it. Roger Moore, at least we got the tongue and cheek and it was a different era. Pierce Brosnan was in this weird sort of like 90s drama era. Transitioning to an action movie.

I got a theory about this too. I got a lot of theories, by the way. So my theory on this, there's 80s and 90s, late 80s, early 90s. There's all these movies where the action scenes consist of people holding submachine guns and going, like spraying bullets at each other, right? Or they'll be like way up on the catwalk and they'll have a shotgun and they're like, boom, boom, shooting somebody like way the fuck across the warehouse. And my theory is that you can't get away with that shit anymore because every kid plays

Call of Duty. They know that a shotgun is ineffective at long range. I mean, you just, this is like in the DNA of every 14-year-old boy. You just know that you can't shoot somebody with a shotgun from across a football field. It's not gonna, you may have never touched a shotgun.

And so like the whole spraying, the submachine gun thing, that stuff's just gone now. You gotta be way more brutal and like accurate and realistic about it. Well, that's why martial arts movies don't look like those early you know like jean-claude van damme and those early like martial arts movies

it's harder to buy this guy you know flipping you over his head and grabbing you by the wrist when you see like an mma fight yeah so when you realize what really happened yeah i was watching demolition man and like wesley snipes is like fucking doing like roundhouse kicks like four five six right yeah i still stand in there it was really connecting with a real roundhouse kick like when does that even ever happen right but you know it's just like it's like watching home alone or something yeah yeah that brick would have caved in his skull and you would have immediately thrown up all over the floor you know the police

would have come there was a bunch of movies those martial arts movies that were completely ridiculous yeah where dudes would

just get stand in a circle and the guys would just charge at him to the left and he would kick him and then the guy

would charge from the right he would kick him and nobody ever nobody ever rushed him all at one time Norris man norris this is this is his bread and butter right here chuck norris and some of the greatest movies ever walker texas oh it's a beautiful show episode is just every episode keep going kick him a couple more times in the stomach dude there was an episode where he uh a bomb went off and he lost his sight. And he went and he meditated and he got his sight back at the end and saved somebody.

He had to get his sight back to save somebody. And I was like, oh, my God. He gets a little spiritual about it. Yeah, he does. Chuck Norris is very high on Jesus. I met Chuck Norris. It was one of the proudest moments of my life that Chuck Norris knew who I was and gave me a hug. I was like, holy shit. Because Chuck Norris. It was one of the proudest moments of my life that Chuck Norris knew who I was and gave me a hug. I was like, holy shit.

Because Chuck Norris watches the UFC. So I was like, god damn it, why don't I have a camera? The photo with Chuck Norris in the martial arts community, that's akin to a photo with Elvis if you're a singer. Blow it up. Yeah, have you got a photo with Chuck Norris? Son. You know you want to just hit those kettle bells and just stare at the photo. Chuck Norris and me together.

Yeah, just motivate me to train hard. Kiss me. Chuck Norris had a those kettlebells and just stare at the photo you know chuck norris and me together yeah just motivate me to train hard kiss me chuck norris had a bunch of unbelievably preposterous movies beat i mean chuck norris was a bad motherfucker but some of those movies were hilarious you know i love roadhouse right is one of the great classic that is the classic i had some friends in portland who created a Roadhouse musical. And this is one of the best things I've ever seen. It's like people acting out Roadhouse. Then occasionally there's like songs.

And there's a narrator that's like. Oh, my God. And I was like, did you guys get permission? And they're like, ah. They just did it? They just did it, you know. Are they doing it for profit or is it just for fun? Well, you know, it was for profit, but they sold out.

I mean, these are real actors. I don't think anybody would find it as anything other than... It's freaking hilarious. Ideally, people would look at it and say, that's a tribute. Yeah. You know, and it's what keeps people buying the DVDs and keeps investing in the movie. That was a great bad movie. It's a great bad movie. It's a great bad movie. Dude, it's got everything.

Yeah, it's an amazing movie, man. It's like a perfect storm. You know, like, at a certain, every sort of genre, you have, like, movies that perfect different elements of the genre, and then you'll have one perfect, one or two perfect storm movies

that get everything, and then, you know, and then it dissipates. The times change. Code of Silence was one, like, super legit movie that chuck norris did that i was trying to remember it it was a a movie like almost like a charles bronson type movie where he played a cop it's just two hours of him meditating these motherfuckers only gave it a 5.6 in the ratings how dare you imdb i disagree i think you gotta you know look at it in the time that it was made.

But in the time that it was made, it was like Chuck Norris. It had very little martial arts in it for a Chuck Norris movie. It was more of just a good action drama movie. I think he threw one sidekick in the whole movie. Contractually obligated to throw one in there. Yeah, probably. You can't have a Chuck Norris movie that doesn't kick at least one dude.

How does Chuck Norris look now? Looks great. He's healthy. He's a martial artist. Have you ever seen him in those commercials where he does those... What is that thing? It's a pulley system.

They do those exercises. So he's legit then. He's legitimately... Because a lot of the action heroes from that era that are also movie stars, there's a lot of sort of surgical stuff that starts creeping in and they start looking a little funny well chuck norris is i think he's in his 60s let's let's look here um but um i know he definitely still trains

he's um he was born in 1940 whoa so uh that means he's 72? Stang. Wow. God dang. Oh, my God. Well, he's doing all right. Healthy living. That's amazing. That's amazing.

Well, he looks incredible for 72. That's incredible. Am I retarded? No, I'm not. That's exactly what he is. Wow. He's still very fit, though. If you see him in these, whatever these things are, it's him and Christie Brinkley.

I don't remember what they're called. He's cable. It's essentially a low- low impact cable pulley system workout and he uh he promotes those things and he's a he's a black belt in jujitsu and i'm sure he still probably does some form of martial arts still too but he looks great for 72 he's incredible yeah you know yeah but yeah a lot of those dudes they you know fucking your body doesn't last son shit's gonna go and that's where robotics comes hey that's why i'm saving mine i'm i'm not working out because you only get so many good good thinking movements you know

imagine if it worked that way if you were born a fucking superhero and every day of your life you like used your your physical points and the more physical activity you did, the lower your life got. The brighter the candle burns, the faster. Yeah, so your life would be almost like a video game. Everybody would have the equal number to start with. Well, they made that movie where you have a certain amount of time to live. Did you know they're remaking Logan's run? Are they really?

I sat at the science fiction convention. I sat next to this guy, and he's sitting next to he's bitching you know about like there's not any people here and i was like he's he was older and i was like what so what you know what's your deal why are you bitching so hard you know we and he's like basically it comes out he's like i wrote logan's run you know oh wow and i'm like you are so lucky that you had a movie made out of your book in the And I'm like, you are so lucky that you had a movie made out of your book in the 70s, and I think they bought the rights in the 60s, that people still remember, right? I mean, how easy for that to just go, you know, just be gone.

And he was just bitter? Just wasn't a happy guy? No, he actually seemed cool. He was sort of like, he was at peace with the fact that in this world, you can show up and 100 hundred people be in line to get a book signed, or you can show up and it'll just be like, nobody. Or that one guy that wants to talk about every aspect of

Star Trek, and then he sort of wanders off without buying a book. And you're like, I just invested 20 minutes in you, buddy. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. Yeah, that's got to be annoying for those guys, because they're really trying to be annoying for those guys because they're really trying to be friendly to people but they're also trying to sell some shit get some things i mean at the end of the day yeah i mean you're trying to sell a book it's got to be weird when

you i know the the book logan's run i remember it but i don't remember anything about it i don't remember the movie i don't remember the book the movie was about all these people that basically it's like 70s everybody's in unit, and you die whenever you're 30. And if you don't agree to die, they hunt you down and kill you. You have like the little gem in your hand. It starts flashing. So Logan doesn't want to die basically. I mean I haven't seen the movie in forever and ever, but he makes a run for it.

So how much different is it from that Justin Timberlake movie? Yeah, right? That's what got me thinking about it, where you have a certain number of minutes to live. Life points, yeah. Yeah, not very. It's not very different. That theme has been explored.

Well, people are always concerned about the idea that one day, due to the fact that we can keep everybody alive and the fact that populations are exploding, we're continuing to figure out new diseases and how to cure people when they're sick and people are staying alive longer. and the fact that populations are exploding you we're continuing to figure out new diseases and how to you know cure people when they're sick and people are staying alive longer like at what point in time do we does it become an issue yeah and do they ever need to control and how do you even go about doing that and so all these like scenarios like the justin timberlake movie or logan's run

pop up where the evil government forces you into a contamination process. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, again, I think at its heart, it's about being afraid that technology is going to change human nature. There are certain things that are innate about being human. Like we're born and we die, right? I mean, come on. Every single human being has lived and they're all going to die or they did die already. And if you change that, then, I mean, that's scary stuff, right?

You're going into a completely unknown territory. And ultimately, that's what everybody is shooting for with the height of technology. The height of technology is to ascend past the physical body, to get yourself into a position where you truly become immortal because you become part of some computer program. See, man, I'm not down with this. Ray Kurzweil, he doesn't want to die, okay? become immortal because you become part of some computer program see man i don't see i don't i'm not down with this ray kurzweil he doesn't want to die okay he doesn't believe that he should have to die yeah no this is what he says i mean i understand he doesn't want to die and he says

you know one way to avoid it is to have a machine that's gonna uh basically take a snapshot of every neuron in your brain which they're all just little switches right and it's going to figure out exactly what's going to go what's going on in your brain and then it's going to continue to simulate that but like part of me is just saying yo when you die even if you simulate yourself perfectly you're freaking dead you're you're a pile of you're dead and there's the other possibility that you know when you're dead and this other life goes on like it's it's going to be completely disconnected from reality and who knows how it's going to progress just because it's a copy of the operating system and all the information and all the traits

that your brain how the fuck do you know what that thing is once it's on its own where they they put the criminal guy's mind into a machine and he's like they turn him on and he's just like this demonic face like he's totally in agony and screaming and he doesn't know what's happened to him he's lost his embodiment as a human being and i mean if you lose your limb that mentally screws you up because your brain has a map of who you are right and then if you took your whole brain and stuck it into something that wasn't even a human body i mean that shit would mentally traumatize you traumatize you it might drive you insane you know yeah it's a good point and then

you'd hunt down robocop and try to give drugs to children well it's what we we don't know what the impact of it would be psychologically to all of a sudden be trapped in this immortal machine you know and what if there was it became like their ethical considerations to whether or not you should be able to shut yourself off because we can't commit suicide but can can a person who's downloaded their consciousness into an eternal machine can they figure out are they do it even or could could you get some crazy guy like george um uh george foreman who named all his kids george what if you like cloned yourself a billion times? You're just like one nutty dude who just decided to make a million of you

and set yourself loose on Cleveland. There's a lot of science fiction that covers. This is all post-singularity stuff. There's a lot of sci-fi that covers this because you lose grasp on basic human things. Like what does it mean to die if there's a thousand other copies of you? What does it mean to have a daughter if you have a thousand copies of her? What does it mean to be you? How did you become you?

Are you a collection of genes? Are you a reaction to your environment? There's certain people that you meet them and you go, wow, you're fucking cool. Where did you come from? I love talking to you. And you could run into 500 people and not feel that and then run into one where you just can't stop talking to them. And it's like, what makes that? How do you make that?

What combination of things? And how would you hold on to that if you transferred? And whatever that magic is to us, that magic compelling sort of charm is to us, that's completely lost in the worlds of cold ones and zeros and machines. Yeah, my whole outlook on science and what it's there for is it's not a battle to defeat human nature or to escape from our meat or our bodies or our fates. I think it's there to amplify what we've already got you

know like i think there's a lot of value that way yeah i mean we're very lot we're intellectual creatures right i mean we can live our lives in our heads and we can try to ignore our bodies or think of our bodies as impediments but you know and i i don't work out i don't push my body to you know i don't compete physically with people but But like I acknowledge that like I eat, I shit, like I have sex. I have made babies. Dude, you're crazy. These are all things that human beings do, right? Right.

And like to try to run away from that I think is crazy because you got to admit, you got to acknowledge you're embodied as a human being. And if you give into that, then you, in some sense are sort of fulfilling what you're there for. You know, it feels good to eat. It feels good to go to the back.

These are because it's natural, you know, just to play devil's advocate, just play devil's advocate. What we're talking about is the concept of you becoming some sort of an immortal thing that doesn't do all the things that a human does. But what if you do do all the things that a human does? It's just that we've recreated it in an, quote-unquote, artificial form.

But instead of it being a carbon-based life form that occurred naturally, it's something that we engineered to occur. But it is the same goddamn thing. So it's not that you wouldn't shit. It's not that you wouldn't so you it's not that you wouldn't shit it's not that you wouldn't eat it's not that you wouldn't but you'd be doing it in a new body that'd be the ultimate form of it if you're not in a human body right then but it would be a human body if you get transferred into like just a young human body i think they're going to be able to make buildings and i think they're going to be able to make human bodies i think it's not with our idea of a robot i think we'll certainly be able to make human bodies. I think it's not with our idea of a robot.

I think we'll certainly be able to make something that looks exactly like a human being. But I think they're also going to be able to make a human being. See, you're asking me to put my money where my mouth is basically because you're saying. No, no, no. But really, I think you are because and it's interesting to me because I haven't thought about it this way. But you're saying, look, Wilson, if you think that because you're embodied as a human, you're obligated to experience life as a human and do all the things humans do. Well, guess what all humans do? They die, right? So if you're saying that you really are putting your money where your mouth is, then you have to be willing to die,

right? And acknowledge that that's a natural part of what humans do, and a part of accepting your embodiment as a human. I don't know. I don't know if it came down to it. I might not want to go over the roller coaster. Yeah, I think we don't want to leave behind the ones we love. That's one of the big things. We don't want to leave behind, like, that would be one of the saddest things, your family being remorseful that you weren't around. But the idea of what you're saying is you wouldn't want to be downloaded into some machine where you didn't experience all the joys an actual person experiences. What I'm saying is I think they're going to be able to create artificial human beings that literally you will get a whole new body to download yourself into. And you will drink wine and you will enjoy it and you will like blowjobs and you will like water parks

and going skiing and you will like doing all the things that a person likes. You'll just be doing it in this completely new physical existence that they've created. An artificial human being. With boobs and a vagina. If Brian would grow, they would have like this one freak group on a

forum somewhere and Brian would be a part of it. He'd have a penis and a vagina. Come into my stall. You know, I still think doing that would violate a lot of what it means to be a human being. Brian would have an excuse to be fat. What he would do is he would put the vagina like an inch below his belly button so he could fold it over and literally fuck himself. Or just fuck your belly button. Get your belly button winding.

Throwing himself on doorknobs. Wouldn't be as good, though. Belly button wouldn't be as good. Yeah, it's going to be really interesting to see what form all of this quote-unquote progress and technological innovation, where it

goes. Because no one from, obviously, from the Lost in Space days were just looking at that. No one saw this coming. They didn't see the internet coming. They didn't see Twitter or Wi-Fi. They didn't see any of that stuff. And who knows what we're missing?

Who knows what one big thing that's going to change the whole ball of wax? Like, just drones. There was no drones in those old movies like the star wars there was like a few things that would fly around like jets and shit and yeah the little reconnaissance thing but not like like what is going to be in our cities in just a few decades looking to the military is is not a bad idea because the arpanet was a darpa project it turned into the internet.

GPS satellites, all that stuff, that was all military tech that eventually went public. It would be so awesome if they weren't killing innocent people. The autonomous vehicles is from a DARPA project. So that was from the Future Combat Initiative that has since gone away. They wanted a lot of autonomous caravans because they were tired of humans getting blown up with IEDs. They're like, wow. So look into the military is not a bad idea if you want to see what's coming next for civilians. The, um, the, the, the real,

uh, spooky thing is the air force, um, drone aviary where they're working on all these different size drones, flapping wing drones, drones that look like a bird. They literally flap their wings and move like a bird. There was a video where they showed all the different ones they have now, these dragonfly ones that fit on the tip of your finger. It's incredible. If these things were flying around, you would have no idea. You would really think that that was a bug.

And that's just a couple of years away. They're going to be everywhere, filming everything. Microwave vehicles, when they get smaller than six inches uh the flight like all the flight dynamics change and so you have to start looking at insects instead of birds um oh really so that's why the design changes like that yeah yeah and so that's all i mean they they study the dynamics of how insects fly and then they try to replicate it um yeah you really wouldn't be able to keep up those rpms at the higher like mass like that's why like a pterodactyl wouldn't fly like a like a dragonfly yeah like i'm not an expert on this in particular but like from what

i understand the way a fly actually flaps its wings is it's more of a scoop because it's like dealing with such a small number of like particles of air and it's actually becomes almost more like a fluid the way that it's interacting and yeah you don't have to do that on a larger scale you can you can get lift you know without having to do that but the agility of a fly if you really wrap your head around it like when you try to swat a fly and it darts away from you it is mind-blowing how well those fuckers can move yeah with that crazy setup this little round body and these giant clear wings have a lot of high level thought going on they're just wired straight to their nervous system is to

avoid obstacles i mean bees are way easier to swat out of the sky than flies are killer bees yeah although you don't want that killer bee honey um when you when you swat a bee out of the sky though it's really not that much of an accomplishment if you can actually swat a fly out of the sky like whoa bees kind of you gotta anticipate a fly yeah yeah flies are robots that's why flies and hummingbirds you know what man if flies were big we'd be fucking terrified if flies were from another planet and we found them if we if we like tuned into another planet and we sent a probe, like a light year away or whatever, and they found giant insect forms,

if they were giant flies, like flies the size of bulls. I was reading about this on io9.com. They had a deal about this because insects used to be a lot bigger. And it's apparently they breathe through these little holes. I can't remember what they're called. But that's the way that they get oxygen, right? And it used to be that there was more oxygen in the atmosphere. And that's why the bugs were all a shitload bigger.

Is that why dinosaurs are so big too? Because it would support their weight better? I don't know. I don't think so. No? No, I'm not sure though but i know that the bugs because of the way they breathe specifically they don't have like lungs like we do you know they have just little holes and i don't know exactly how it works but apparently whenever there's a lot of high oxygen you get like a ratio that's that's better for them well yeah it doesn't what I said doesn't make sense,

but I think there was some question. I took it from, there was some question the environment was thicker, the atmosphere was thicker. It was a very recent thing. They were trying to figure out why they were so big, like what led them to grow so large. I forget what the article was about. But I think that was part

of the scenario that they're proposing, was that something about the atmosphere was much different, and that it was easier to support giant forms of life. Then the other thing was, I guess, the trees and the vegetation was different back then. A lot of these animals

were vegetable eaters. Then if you're going to have a giant brontosaurus, if something's going to eat it, it's got to be like a T-Rex. It's got to be a giant fucking even bigger, crazier thing. It's almost like the more plants you have to eat, the bigger the things are that eat the plants and the bigger the things that eat the things. Yeah.

We were talking about this documentary about an area of Africa that's cut off. The river changed its course just 100 years ago. And this area has been isolated. Straight up King Kong action? Well, sort of. It's lions and water buffaloes. And the lions have grown larger because they have to only take down water buffaloes. So there's like one pack specifically of female lions that are big as male lions.

They're enormous. And it's all because they have to take down water buffaloes. Like they've adapted to this one particular area. Every animal is a solution to a problem.

Yeah, but do robots, that's the question, do robots, and if they're going to have that engineered into their system, aren't us the first shit they're going to get rid of, man? I don't think so.

I think that they're just, you know, robots are tools and if we design them well, they'll do it. The fuckers are going to take over dude do you believe that type scenario where there's going to be people that don't even know that they're robots i hope yeah you hope yeah you're gonna marry one of those bring one of those in look she's just gonna stay with us for a while it just makes out with you when no one's around. And then she cleans. Yeah, it's like we're going to eventually have to deal with the moral aspects of ordering them around, having them as slaves. Making them rust.

Sex tools. I think that robots have the potential to be more human than we are. Really? To be more moral than we are and to to like be great examples for our children to raise our children i think that i think we're gonna become very very very intimate with with these machines until i hack your robot yeah and then it's gonna make your robot fuck you yeah and kiss your kid do you um think it's ever possible that robots can be funny um will they ever figure that out is that a? Will they ever figure that out?

Is that a mathematical – yeah, is that a problem? Is that what that is? I think, yeah, you could build a learner that would try to figure out what's funny specifically and tell jokes. I'm sure people have done that. I bet if you look for that, you'd find it. I wonder if like a robot could craft a bunch of things that were specifically funny because, um, you know, we always want to think that,

uh, well, there's certain things you can't do. You can't recreate talent. Maybe we can. I mean, maybe it was just like, yeah,

maybe we're just very rudimentary right now in our thoughts on what robotics are or what artificial intelligence is. But why would we think that we're so special that we can't be recreated? I mean, it's really kind of arrogant. I know. And it's a losing battle, right? It's like every year there's a new thing that they can do. And like, we're slowly shrinking down. And you know, at the end of the day, the only thing that

might be left is that morality, that ability to be good or evil, right? You know, that that lump of meat that has to sit behind the steering wheel to take the blame. Yeah, I mean, all we have to offer. And we have to figure out what is that for, even? Why does that exist? What is it showing us about the human race where there is a positivity and there's energy to be derived

from good behavior and from healthy behavior? It's just very difficult to teach that to people. And if you negatively reinforce it and give them a lot of negative energy in their life and a lot of negative experiences, then they recreate that sort of energy and they go after it over and over again. They get addicted to a certain pattern.

And that's the number one issue with engineering human beings, period. Forget about robots. We haven't even figured out how to get the human meat machine to operate in the correct manner. That's the great thing about humans, right? We think at least that we have the free will and that we can be good or evil. If you program a robot to be good no matter what, then it's not good.

It's just doing what it's programmed to do. That's interesting. So that's like a lot of trust. I mean, if we ever have a machine that's capable of doing that, I mean, that's like creating life because that's when you say, go out and do good or evil, and then I'm going to see what you do. That's some more biblical themes right there. It really is, right?

Yeah. And that really is biblical. I mean, you really are creating a life form. If you were 52 years old and you had been divorced several times and you had almost no money left, and somebody gave you a beautiful robot sex slave that didn't want to vote and had no personality of its own just existed to fulfill your sexual needs maybe then you'd

understand but right now you're a young man with hope in your eyes who dreams for the future if you were broken by a steady stream of bad relationship choices and divorces and you were living in a fucking shack outside of palmdale with a car that's broken down you wouldn't think twice about that robot fuck doll. You'd be like, I'm out at the dating scene for life. Do you think that would make people happy? No, certainly not. Would they rather have a machine?

They'd probably drown her and kill themselves in the process. I don't know. I think that it's very hard for people to be happy. And one of the things that people need in order to be happy, in my opinion, is that you need happy people in your life. You need to surround yourself with happy people. That alone is very difficult to find because finding a group of people that have managed to maneuver and managed to carve a path through life that's been generating the majority of what the people they're encountering with are enjoying their company the majority of it is a positive experience uh goals have been fulfilled you know health is in order all those different things all those variables that have to be in place in order to find a truly happy person it's really difficult to accumulate a bunch of people like that and get together so occasionally like many of us in in our lives have known there's

certain people we have to cut off you know there's a certain point in time you know okay this person is an energy vampire they're never getting their own shit together hold on you gotta cut me off for one you gotta pee i gotta pee man see son i can hope my bladder's strong mike goldberg you hear that yeah please go let's go through right there door and there's a door on the left. See, dude, I ramble so hard I make people pee their pants. That's how I do, son. People are requesting a Brian Redband and Joe Rogan only podcast for number 300. Oh, yeah. Is that coming up?

Yeah, it's coming up, dude. I think we only have a couple more weeks. Yeah. What number is this? 284, I think. That's ridiculous, son. We should see if we could coincide it somehow or another. We time them out right.

We can coincide it with the end of the month, which is when we started in the first place, right? We started December 31st. Yeah. Yeah, it was like New Year's Eve, I think. They'll probably know before us. But it seems like that'll wind up around there. Yeah.

We should probably time it to that. We should. Yeah. That'd be cool. And so we'll do a three-year anniversary. We've been doing this for three years. That's crazy. Isn't that ridiculous?

Yeah. I got a P2. Do you have any robot questions for this dude? I don't know. He's probably taking a big stinker in there. He's taking a little long for a P. He's snapping one off. He might be beating off all this talk about sex and robots and robot fuck dolls in the

Palmdale Desert. Let's check the toilet cam. I think robot fuck dolls is probably going to be one of the first things that people invent besides maids. Look, if you can make a Tara Patrick looking maid, you're going to fuck it. It's going to clean your house and you're going to fuck it. I think it's going to start off as a pet. At first, it's going to be some kind of animal, like a cat. I got a P2, man.

We're talking about Tara Patrick as a robot that you can fuck. Elaborate, please. Tara Patrick. Oh, I'm taking over now, huh? You, Brian? Yeah. So what do you think about the Olive Garden? I think the Olive Garden's pretty nice.

You know that there's a list of companies, including the Olive Garden and Red Lobster, where they're cutting everyone's hours so they don't have to give them health care. Have you heard about this? It's like Red Lobster, Olive Garden, all these legit companies. And because of that Obamacare, they're cutting everyone's hours. And it's pretty fucking weird watching these companies do that. Yeah, it's sort of weird because you see that they're the company the corporations have rebounded and they've got all this money but they're still

not like quite trusting that the economy is better so they're they're sort of sticking with all the cuts they made right and sort of like you know riding that as long as they can do you collect robots do you have like a collection of toys or like you know or people give me robots a lot right because you know i'm the robot guy i've been studying them and you know so i have a lot of them around the house like but i don't have to collect them myself i do like some of the robot art you know yeah eric joiner he does all these robots and donuts oh wow yeah no it's it's it's pretty rad i remember the first robot i ever created uh back in the day that you had

an erector set and i don't know if you remember that it used to be like this yellow case that you would open up and inside were like these miscellaneous motors and like metal pieces that you could put together and one of the things that they give you instructions for is how to build a robot. And this robot was just like, I think it had eyeballs that were light bulbs, and it moved and stuff. But as a kid, it was like, I built my own robot. There were a lot of 80s robot kits that you could buy, and they were like, look, it's a robot.

You're going to get a robot. And then you get it, and you're like, I don't know. It's like Revenge of the Nerds. They have that robot, and you're like, I don't think it could really work.venge of the Nerds. They have that robot and you're like, I don't think I can really speak. Remember Napoleon Dynamite where the uncle got a time machine and he kept trying to use it? Right. Yes. It's like that stuff.

I told a friend to meet me at 5, but I got to text him real quick. I'm so sorry. Oh, that's okay, man. We actually have five minutes. Oh, okay. Is this really? We're almost done. Time flies, man.

Ten minutes? Yeah. It was a long-ass podcast, dude. It was fun, okay. Is this really? We're almost done. Time flies, man. Ten minutes? Yeah. It was a long-ass podcast, dude. It was fun, though. Listen, if anybody wants to get a hold of you, they can get a hold of you on Twitter. Your Twitter is, what is it again? It's DanielWilsonPDX. DanielWilsonPDX.

I have to repeat it just in case they didn't hear you, even though you were very clear. DanielWilson PDX, folks. And you can also go to his website, which is danielhwilson.com. And the book is Robopocalypse. Cock-a-pock-a. Did I say it right? Robopocalypse.

In Germany, it's called Robocalypse because the po means ass. Oh, really? And so the German editors were like, hey, so we don't really want it to be like robot ass apocalypse. That sounds perfect. It's a whole different book.

That sounds better, man. I might have to do a rewrite. Yeah, they're censoring you, man. The fucking man is trying to keep you from selling books. That's fucked up, dude. And Amped is the other book, right? Yeah. It's on Kindle and all that stuff, right?

Yeah, they're in bookstores. They're on Amazon. Oh, it's actually on Audible. I got one of those Barnes & Noble Nooks. It's pretty badass, dude. I got it when I was in San Francisco. I like it. Tell me when you get a real tablet.

What are you talking about? I like that too, man. But for reading, you know what I like about it? That it looks like print on paper. It doesn't have that look of like an LCD screen. You know, the way the Kindles look. You know, Kindles and the Nooks, they both have that sort of same aspect to it. Yeah, they're supposed to look like paper.

I like the paper look, yeah. Yeah, I like that. I think it's less eye strain for reading. And you can get your shit on that, right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Everything. And what I love about that is on kindle if you like highlight something you know in the book then that stuff can be shared and so i can actually see what people

are highlighting in the book and like see what they like and people comment about it so let's say you know that's some stupid shit you know how do they do that when they highlight it and share it what do they do i think you have to have your settings to share. Oh, that's beautiful. What a great idea. It's pretty cool as an author to be able to go onto Amazon and see what people are reading. I mean, that's some new stuff. Yeah, and see the exact quotes that people are responding to. As a stand-up comic, sometimes you'll say something at a show, and the next night someone will quote it, and they'll be laughing. And you go, oh, yeah, I forgot I even said that. It becomes these quoted things.

When you see your stuff highlighted and you see like the things that people really enjoy or did enjoy, how much does that affect your next writing? Do you really look a lot at the feedback and try to like see it from their point of view? No, man. It affects my readings because i'll try to go read when i do a reading i'll try to read like the part that people like so they think i'm smart right good at writing but uh so it affects like which excerpts you choose yeah yeah yeah reading but when i'm writing man i just like i when i'm nerding out and i'm like all super excited then

i know i'm doing it right, basically. Isn't that the coolest thing in the world? Like when you're writing and an idea comes into your head and you're just following it down and it's like building and growing like right before your eyes. Being able to create something and being able to, you know, come up with some shit that didn't exist before and then boom, then all of a sudden it does. It's such an unbelievably satisfying experience. And then it's there. It hangs around. You got it.

You're like, I did this. This is what I did in 2009. It's right there. It's a thing I made. That's why if you have a job where you're able to create and also make some kind of artifact that you have, you can say I did that. New York Times bestselling book. And on top of that, people can continue to buy it. It's always available. They can say I did that. New York Times best-selling book. And on top of that, people can continue to buy it.

It's always available. They can always get it. They can get it in hard form. They can get it in digital form. They can keep getting it. I'm pretty curious what this movie is going to do for you. Oh, it's going to blow through the roof.

If you just only had a few bitches getting rape-choked and gagged and ball-gagged and mouth-fucked, you just kind of have them abused a little bit more. Do your books go in order at all if I'm ready to buy them? No. So Robo-pocalypse and Amped are two different standalone books. What are your theories on this Fifty Shades of Grey thing

and why women are into getting their mouth spit in and stuff like that? What is this change? What is what's going on here? Yeah, I mean, what do you think, right? Because, well, it's interesting that it started out as fan fiction, right? Really? that what is this change what is what's going on here yeah i mean what do you think right because well it's interesting that it started out as fan fiction right so this really this was edward and bella you didn't know that oh no i did not this book was fan fiction like shut the fuck up 50 shades of gray started out with twilight yes it had all they did literally was change the names

of the characters oh my and then they published it that is ridiculous so that's the most silly thing i've ever heard in my life it's the real deal so it was someone who was really into that and they just followed on that tone and created like a sexual well bondage version of it wonder maybe that's what's the undercurrent right i mean so it's like twilight has a story you know it has all this stuff but there's obviously a deep sexual undercurrent. It's a love story, right? And so this lady just went for the jugular. She said, forget all the bullshit.

That's right. To like vampires. Okay. Let's say he's a billionaire. He's a financial vampire. It's all just about fucking, you know? Wow. Maybe that's it.

Maybe if you, you know, it's just humans are not as complicated as we like to think maybe that's what it's really i certainly think that's the case but i also think that women um want to hear shit that's in their voice so like most pornography i think is from the male voice just i just bought his book nice i see you got ernie you got ernie klein next to me i'm in good company oh yeah, yeah. Have you read that book? Sure. I love it. I blurbed it. My blurb's on that book somewhere. Yeah, I'm reading it right now.

Do you think Apple will ever shrink that bitch down so it fits in your pocket? It does fit in my pocket. Your pants pocket? Yeah, check this out. What kind of pants are you wearing, son? He's got Apple brand pants. Can you get some Apple pants? Okay, if you sit down, that is going to break and it's going to cut your dick in half.

Oh, my God. It's one man, one pie to break and it's going to cut your dick in half. Oh my God, it's one man, one iPad. It's so going to cut your dick. You will be one man, one iPad. Don't ever take that out when you're drunk. But if you have like a nice man purse, you can carry that around easily. I'm sitting down normally. No, you're not. You're going to die.

Your voice is high. You should commit to a man purse. That is wrong. Commit to a man purse. So you're a big proponent of that, using that, because you can get online with it. I do. Photos, everything. It does pretty much everything.

I got the non-cellular one because I have an iPhone that has a hotspot. But I think more that I'm using the hotspot feature on the iPhone, I think if you were going to get it, do get the one with the cell phone service built into it. It's just kind of more of a pain in the butt, like, oh, I've got to turn on my hotspot. Right. That's what I was thinking. I was thinking that it would probably be better to wait for the other version into it. It's just kind of more of a pain in the butt, like, oh, I've got to turn on my hotspot. Right, that's what I was thinking. I was thinking that it would probably be better to wait for the other version of it.

But as compared to the two iPads, I have both of them, definitely I love this one better. It's enough. It's enough. It's what you need, right? Well, it was crazy when we were in Seattle and we were streaming from it. We streamed a Ustream show from it.

We lost Daniel. Sorry. Do you give a fuck about this kind of stuff? Or are you just holding into robotics? I'm sorry. Whatever. Yeah, no worries, man. I don't really collect a lot of gadgets.

No? Really? I have this thing that is like the magnet doodle, you know? Where you use the little magnet thing and you draw on it. And that's like the closest thing to an iPad that's like at my house right now it's really the clown or what's the one with the clown it is a toy for my my kid yeah uh light bright's pretty badass i'm i keep night bright light bright honestly i'm just scared because it changes everything every time you get one you know like already i'm not if i if i look at the stupid phone you saw that yeah you totally immediately forget about

everything i'm like a little retarded yeah when someone has a new one five minutes we're almost done uh if someone has a new one man like i'm drawn to it like a baby yeah oh and that's the other thing little kids love it oh yeah so if you bring, it's like bringing crack home. It's amazing. And you're done. And I'm kind of afraid of how it will affect my kids, too. Well, there's educational shows on there. And there's educational games that they can count. They learn how to count things.

Wasn't I hearing earlier about a certain feline companion that enjoys using the iPad? Yeah. Oh, yeah. My cat plays with my iPad and pisses all over my couch. And that's not a euphemism for anything? My cat. My cat plays with my iPad and then and pisses all over my couch. And that's not a euphemism for anything? My cat. My cat plays with my iPad and then she pisses all over my couch. Oh, no, I do live with a black guy, a black gentleman.

My cat. His old cat. Was. Name is William. In the late 60s slang. Go by the name of William. He likes iPad. Cat was born in the 40s.

Yeah, right? He's an old one-pocket player. It's born in the 40s. Yeah, right? He's an old one-pocket player. It's actually Cat Williams. Oh, Cat Williams. Okay. Enough said. Enough said. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen,

I think we gave out all the information we probably could. Daniel H. Wilson PDX on Twitter. Daniel H. Wilson. No, it's Daniel Wilson PDX on Twitter, not Daniel H. Wilson. So Daniel Wilson PDX on Twitter. Daniel H. Wilson. No, it's DanielWilsonPDX on Twitter, not Daniel H. Wilson. So DanielWilsonPDX on Twitter. DanielHWilson.com. Thanks a lot, man. It's been really fun.

It was a fun conversation. Really interesting stuff. And if you ever have anything you want to promote, you want to come back, do it again. We'd be happy to have you on. Dude, I had a great time. Sorry I had to urinate. That's so human of me. I had it too.

Once you did it, you broke the ice. I had to go do it too. But we know. Look, it's fucking three hours. We don't even take commercial breaks. But I think it makes for a better conversation that way. It's hard to take a commercial break

and then come back and just pick up where you were. It just seems awkward. So we do it this way and it requires people to hold their bladder and keep it together. I think you did an excellent job though.

You had a big thing of water. You lasted like two hours. That's pretty strong. Thank you guys so much. You're welcome, man. Thank you. And one more time, the two books, your books are Robopocalypse and Amped. And those are the ones that you're promoting. You have more than that, right?

How many books do you have all together? Eight. Go buy them, bitches. Go get them on Audible. Go get them on Audible. Yeah. Do you have them on Audible? Yeah. It's beautiful.

Go to audible.com. And if you go to audible.com forward slash Joe, you can get a free book and you get a 30-day free membership to one of the best services, I think, online as far as like with audio entertainment. Love it. I love audible.com. I love the idea behind it. And they have a massive selection, including this young man's fantastic robot books.

So go get it, you dirty bitches. Thanks to onnit.com. That's O-N-N-I-T. Go and get yourself some new mood, bitch, or some alpha brain. If you have any questions about these supplements, there's a 100% money-back guarantee on the first 30 pills. You don't even have to return the product. No one's trying to rip you off.

They're just trying to save you the looking for the best shit possible. Sell you all the stuff that I would use. Use the code name Rogan, and you will save yourself 10%. All right, this fucking show's over. Oh, if you use the code name Sandy, we'll take that 10%, and we'll donate it towards hurricane relief we actually decided to go with the Salvation Army

because in this case the Salvation Army is using 100% of the proceeds for hurricane relief it's like a lot of them it actually gets down to like as low as

like 30% actually goes to the people and the victims but Salvation Army in this case it's 100% so we're going with them if you use the code name

Sandy alright fuckers we might see you tomorrow we got a lot of work to do we're going with them if you use the code name Sandy. All right, fuckers. We might see you tomorrow. We got a lot of work to do. We're going to be at the new studio tightening shit down. Brian and I are just starting to set that place up. It's not quite done yet. Takes time, bitches.

Takes time. But I'll see you guys all in Montreal for sure this Friday at the Metropolis with Duncan Trussell. All right, go fuck yourselves. See ya. Bye. Bye. Bye. Peace.