The Joe Rogan Experience - #286 - Daniele Bolelli

Episode Date: November 19, 2012

Daniele Bolelli is an Italian author, martial artist, and university professor, and also is the author of "On the Warrior's Path".

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Trying to shorten these things up, Danielly. You know what I'm saying, man? I talk too much. I'm a rambling dude, and when I have no script in front of me, I probably have that cat parasite disease. I should go look it up.

We need to stop talking about it and just do it. Just do it. But I wouldn't want to tell people, because then they'd fucking blame everything on my cat parasite. No, we could be the spokesman for it. I think that'd be awesome if we were the spokesman for it. If that many people are infected by it, that'd be awesome. Joey has it.

Joey has it 100%. Absolutely. There's no doubt. His kids are about to have it. Joey is, he's had more than 11 cats in his house at one point in time. I don't know what he has now. I think it's 11. It's 11. Yeah, and at one point in time. I don't know what he has now. Does he have 11? I think it's 11.

Yeah, and he has wild cats too. He has ones outside that he only feeds. He doesn't even get to touch. Right. Those are the ones that probably have it. Yeah, the feral cats are the ones that probably have it. He's got feral cats too. He takes care of regular cats and feral cats.

That's nuts. The thing is that toxoplasma disease, when people get that shit, everybody always hears about the crazy cat lady you know everybody always hears about the crazy cat people that like live around all these cats and have 15 20 cats if those cats really are hypnotized those people and force them to live around their polluted shit that's kind of fucked up it is fucked up that's why we need to take the test and we'll be the spokesman for it that's a good idea that could be our thing most folks don't even know what we're talking about are you familiar at all with the the whole toxoplasma thing i heard about it but you know

kind of like random bad shit that can happen when you have cats around that was about the extent that i got that's all you got yeah really but you're like super smart dude and a professor i fake it man you fake it i just fake it well. That's what it is. You're very well read, but is there almost too much things, or too many things, rather? Too much things. See my education? It goes deep, son. Fucking strong with the grammar. There's too many things to know.

I mean, in this day and age, to really truly be a Renaissance man, there you are. It doesn't matter how well read you are. It doesn't matter how curious you are. You are going to come across subjects that are just, you have no idea. There's just too much information out. About anything. Even about the stuff that you do know about, there will still be the areas that you don't know about. You know what I mean?

It's like, it's the nature of the beast. But at the same time, to me, in a way, it doesn't matter because the real deep stuff is the same in any specific field of knowledge you discuss. You know, whether you're talking about martial arts or sex or you name it whatever at the end of the day the big themes are going to show up regardless of where you start so if you don't know every little thing that is to know which nobody will ever get there then who the hell cares as long as you get the essence of of the game yeah and you know it's like i think that's part of how religion got a strong hold on humanity because that that reality of all these different things that you don't know and and so much out there that it's there was a quote by terence mckenna about i think it was his brother Dennis actually that said it, about expanding

the field of vision just really shows you more of what you don't know and that like if you have a campfire, like the brighter the campfire the more darkness is revealed and it's not that you ever uncover it all. It just, the more information you take in, the more it gets more and more confusing to the point where the real comfort comes in simplicity. It's why I like country music. Songs are so popular. The idea of embracing simplicity, especially in this day and age, it's pretty popular because it feels good to pretend that fucking life's a John Wayne movie. It feels good to pretend that this stuff makes sense where the more you look at life

and the more you look at all the different variables and then the fact that we're finite beings just that alone is the ultimate mindfuck that no matter how well you do you have a short amount of time in this spot. In this dimension. So the most noble aspects

of religion, I've always defended the noble aspects of religion, I've always defended the noble aspects of religion because I've seen it do good things to people that have issues. I've seen it used as a scaffolding for developing a good ethical and moral behavior. But the worst aspects of it are always the insistence on limiting information, the insistence on slowing the, and it's not all religion, by the way, folks, and I'm not blaming all, but I'm saying there's an aspect, let's not even call it religion, there's an aspect of human nature when you're in a position of power and all of a sudden there's information that's coming at you, so you control a bunch of people, which by the way, if you run a school or if you run, you're a preacher, you're

in a position of power. You might not think of it as a position of power. You might think of it as a position of teaching, but you're clearly in a position of power. And it's just very unfortunate that when human beings get to that spot where there's one person controlling another person or in charge of like speaking more than the other people, they want to like hold that and manipulate it and if information comes in that's contrary to what they've been teaching they fight that fucking shit tooth and nail and unfortunately it happens even the lowest levels of academia

it doesn't just happen in the in religion it happens when professors get challenged on you know long-standing ideas that are proven to be false. I mean, it goes way... We want to think that, like, when you go way back to, like, Galileo getting house arrest for saying that the Earth wasn't the center of the universe, you want to think, yeah, well, that was then. We're past that shit now.

Not quite. We just have enough information, so it's way too ridiculous to lock somebody up for saying that the Earth isn't the center of the universe. But it's still okay to teach in schools that the Earth is only 10,000 years old. You know what I mean? That blows my mind. That's crazy.

They're still doing it. I know. There's people – I don't remember what state it is. Let's be nice and pretend we don't know what state it is. But it's definitely worth a warm-out. And these motherfuckers they're they're trying to teach alternative theories to the theory of evolution and you know they're saying well it's just the theory evolution is just the theory this and it hasn't been proven

you show me transitionary fossil listen forget calling it the evolutionary theory let's just talk about the the theory of how shit got to be what it is now. You know, when you call it evolution, call it whatever you want. Stop saying a name that you disagree with. Evolution means lack of God. Who created evolution? If you just throw away that word, what's going on? Well, obviously things are improving right in front of us all the time,

constantly, whether it's social things, whether it's the physical capabilities of human beings, you know, the size of lions in Africa that get stuck on an island. When things have to get better or they have to get better at something in order to improve, they do. And it seems like that's going on from the moment the Big Bang happened to the cooling of these planets, to the time where they could support liquid water, to the emergence of life. There's a constant series of complications, or a constant process of things being more and more complicated. And that's just unavoidable. So it seems like that's everywhere around us,

everywhere we look. So you've got to call it something. Say maybe there's a God, and maybe what God does is just plant seeds, just like we do when we make a tomato plant. We're not involved in the entire process. Maybe the God is the seed planter of the universe. But the motion and the way that everything goes is sort of undeniable. It becomes more and more complex and when you have people that are in positions of power that insist on using information that's really fucking old well i mean it's the nature of the business right if you are in a position of power anything that

threatens it is a threat to you so fuck whatever new info you don't want anything to change and new information can change and by definition then it's bad do they use any of the dead sea scrolls does any christian religion embrace i mean granted there are last time i checked there are 30 000 different denominations of christianity so that's quite a is that true 30 000 holy shit which ones have the most sex you know that's what you gotta look at who are the who's the is it the mormons they seem like the healthiest you would dig there was this one guy, very early Christianity, Carpo Kratis or some weird Greek name like that, that I think second century Christianity, who argued that the way to heaven went through sex orgies and that he was against any kind of like ownership, including marriage, because you consider your own in somebody as such is fucked up. So not only we

keep our properties in common, but we also share our lovers. So we all have wild orgies in the name of Jesus. What year was this? Very early on. It was like, I want to say 2nd century. Something like that. He knew how to live. That guy knew how to live. But can you imagine like, had this version of Christianity

prevailed rather than simple? A little bit awesome. Like Sunday morning, everybody would be rushing to church like crazy, knocking on the door. Please let me back in. The problem is it's always going to be some dudes left out that no one wants to fuck. Those assholes will ruin it for everybody else. I think that's the history of religions, right? There is, man. They come along and they say, this is not God's way.

Why? Because nobody wants to fuck that guy. That's exactly my thinking. Yeah, man. If he looked like Channing Tatum, is that the guy? The really handsome fellow, Channing Tatum? Say, this is not God's way. Why? Because nobody wants to fuck that guy. That's exactly my thinking about that. Yeah, man. If he looked like Channing Tatum, is that the guy? The really handsome fellow, Channing Tatum? That's the guy you like.

That's the guy I like. If that dude looked like Channing Tatum, he would never be proposing that. He'd be like, listen, we don't need to settle down. We'll raise each other's kids. That's what McKenna proposed, too. He proposed that there was just these wild psychedelic drug orgies, and that they would take mushrooms and have these orgies, and that before, you know, when they really couldn't identify who was the father

because they were all being polyamorous, as it were, and having sex with a bunch of different people. But McKenna, I always felt like there was a little bit of wistfulness in those concepts that I felt like, well, you look at McKenna and you're like, it's probably hard for that guy to get pussy when he was young. He probably concocted some wacky ass theories of things gone by the way things were. Maybe not, dude. Maybe it's always been caveman clubbing bitches over heads and dragging them into holes to shoot loads into them. Because that seems like what

it used to be like at some point in time did it really become mushroom orgies i don't know i think he would have liked that i think down to this day it's every theory you ever hears from anybody it's all about being able to get laid better that's my quick synthesis of human nature well there's no denying the the workings of the human body and the the human body requires a lot of different things uh it requires stimulation it requires uh that's why people go crazy when you put them in solitary confinement it requires the human touch i i didn't i moved to la in uh 94 i guess and i did i was uh out here doing a sitcom and i didn't know anybody out here and i really didn't like work it was it wasn't that fun it was a couple guys that I liked on the set but

it was dealing with all these actors it was a real alien experience for me and you know I missed my girlfriend back home in New York and I was out here for a couple of weeks and this girl that I was working with on the show um she gave me a hug like it was no big deal it was like hey how are you what's going on I'm excited to see you she gave me this hug at It was no big deal. It was like, hey, how are you? What's going on? I'm excited to see you. She gave me this hug at work. And I remember it like feeling like I went to the gas station and I filled up my tank. You know what I mean?

It's like, oh, like I was on empty and now I'm better. Like she gave me something by giving me a hug. And it wasn't a sexual thing. It was a touch thing. And I think we're so used to being hugged and so used to being social. It's so common that you don't realize when you step away from it for a little bit. But you fucking need the human touch. When you haven't been hugged for a while and someone hugs you, it feels amazing. It just feels great.

Just to get a nice hug from a person, a guy. It's not a sexual thing. It could be a guy. That's one thing that cracked me up when I moved to the U.S. is that I was used to giving hugs to women and men. Right. And out here, a bunch of men, I realized, they would always, it's hand-to-hand in between.

Yeah. Three pats on the back with, like, heaps thrust 20 inches away because otherwise it's sexual or something. And I'm like, oh, fuck that. I mean, if you're going to give me a hug, give me a hug. I just rub my dicks on dudes. I just rub my dick on dudes' legs and shit and hips. I like to rub my dick on their hips.

It doesn't even make sense. Just give them a hug and rub my dick on their hips. Yeah, I hug the fuck out of people. I don't care. We always say that when we're going to Twitter, we're on Twitter going to shows, free hugs at the Ice House tonight. We always say that when we're going to Twitter, we're on Twitter going to shows, free hugs at the Ice House tonight. We always say silly shit like that.

Nothing wrong with hugging people, man. But there is something wrong when somebody wants to hug you and you don't want to hug them. Then there's something wrong with hugging. Then you're like, listen, man, I don't even know you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or people that want to hug you that have bad breath. You're like, you can hug me, but you've got to keep your mouth shut.

The worst is the sweaty palms or sweaty hands. The's like a dead fish it's so often well i think it's strengthening my immune system because i do these shows and after the shows i'll shake hands with like hundreds of people because i after the shows i wait in line and i take pictures with everybody i just feel like you know it's only a couple more hours of my time and it's i've i'm so fortunate in so many ways that i feel like i have in someone you know like dice wears gloves like he won't even shake people's hands dice wears his weightlifting gloves but uh the funniest was when we were did i say this already with greg fitzsimmons when we were in uh seattle and we were taking photos together like you were taking photos and then they would

come to us and me and him would take photos together and he was saying like how he doesn't shake hands he just fist bumps and so i'm like you know that makes so much sense because i am touching all these people's hands yeah and so i did the next person went up to happened to be an asian guy and his girlfriend or whatever i did a fist bump and he goes hey he you're the only one he hasn't done shook in the person's hand like he tried to throw me underneath the bus like he doesn't want to shake yeah and so then and then i was like trying to get him trying to get him back so what i would do is like we would have her arm around the guy like like uh you know uh and and greg said uh i don't touch the person so like when they do the arm thing i i just stand there i don't put my arm around them so i would always be like come on greg put your arm around the guy. Let's take a photo here.

And so he would have to do it. He really doesn't hug people? No, no. And so then I started moving his hand down. And so he would touch the guy's butt and stuff. It was hilarious. We were having the greatest time doing that stupid shit. Yeah.

We went for a series of maybe five years of photos where Brian made a baa face in the back of the photo. It's not a joke. There might be 100,000 photos plus of Brian. I mean, he was fucking committed to it. Yeah, that's a new era of humanity, the photo era. There's more photos today than there ever were ever.

I mean, in one day, I bet, there's more photos taken than the entire history of the human race. Can you imagine history books in a hundred years? It's just going to be fucking, like, MySpace photos from, like, the top. Like, this person who did this important thing in time.

This is Tila Tequila. This was her website that really shocked the world. Speaking of photos, just so you guys know why we may seem, these guests may seem distracted and weird. Right behind Joe's head, there's this giant picture of a girl with very generous cleavage. Do you know who that is? I don't even, I want to know, but no.

It's beautiful. You're not American. That's Pamela Anderson, man. You've got to be kidding me. That's Pamela Anderson? Yeah, not knowing who Pamela, look, I look like I'm eight years old there. See how she's so yellow? You know what? It's because of the hepatitis C.

That's why I... Oh, Brian, stop that. That's so mean. To be honest, it's actually the first moment. I mean, you're like 40 minutes is the first second that my eyesight goes above her clavicles. You would just look at her with balloons? Yeah, definitely. When I was a younger man, I would have loved them.

But now I look at them and I say they look great and everything, but I can't get past the irony or the ridiculousness of the fact that there's a bag of water under your nipple. I can totally get past that. It's fucking crazy. Oh, dude, that's so crazy. Just saying that, I had a dream, Brian, that we were at a strip club. And you and I were at a strip club and you you and i were at a strip club and there was a girl with a fake butt and you kept saying dude she's got a fake butt she's got a fake this is a real get her over here she'll show us she'll tell us and this girl was covered in oil and you were like pinching her fake butt like you can't feel it at all and i

was and i was just shocked at how odd it was. I don't know why. You got to see my life. You time traveled. Yeah, I time traveled. And, well, tell me, because this girl had, like, an arm bracelet on as if she was, like, a Muay Thai fighter or some shit. And she had black hair. She had black hair.

And she was covered in oil. And she was quite tan. She had black hair and she was tan. But I don't think she was oil. It was just pussy juice. How come girls don't go with the tan lines? Tan lines are gone. They don't exist anymore. You don't see them in porn. If you

ever see them in porn, you get all excited. Oh, it's the hottest shit ever. Yeah, ever. Underboob tan line perfection. Garfield looking down at the sidewalk. It's great. Garfield looking at the sidewalk? Yeah. The fuck? I don't know what you're talking about. Just imagine the tan lines. Thank you. I'm glad. Do you know what he's talking about? No. There's three. Three people in this room. Nobody knows what know what you're talking about. Just imagine the two of us. That's two. Thank you. I'm glad. Do you know what he's talking about?

No. There's three. Three people in this room. What? Nobody knows what the fuck you're talking about. Brian, your brain. Think about it. Garfield.

I think you have a hamster parasite. Everybody else got that cat parasite? You got like a hamster parasite. Or Garfield looking down at the sidewalk under boob. Bam. Oh, okay. Okay. I did not know what the fuck that meant.

That's a weird thing that girls can do where they can go out and they can literally, their entire tit can be hanging out. As long as their areolas are covered, it's okay. Yeah. That is such a weird thing with us. Like, you can paint your tits. Have you ever seen that? When people paint their whole body so they're fucking naked.

Yeah. And you have paint on and your tits are out and you're just wandering around at a party. And like guys with their girlfriends and their girlfriends they've found like a loophole for showing their tits. Not that I'm

look I'm not a hater. I'm just saying it's a weird thing that you can just paint your tits and we're pretending that's clothes. When did paint become clothes?

Because it's not dick clothes I'll tell you that. You can't paint your dick. We should try. No you can't. You go right to jail. You can't just paint your dick and go out. They will arrest you. They will lock you up for sure. They'll say you that you can't paint your dick we should try no you can't you go right to jail you can't just paint your dick and go out they will arrest you they'll lock you up for sure they'll say you're naked but a girl can be topless and covered in paint and somehow or another we let

that slide even if it's like painted like a turkey we like i'm a law enforcement officer no on the field we're out there on the streets trying to keep people safe i don't want tits out if it's painted really well though like if it was a turkey gobbler or something like that or you know like it's nice yeah pretty like it's a cool it's artwork artwork yeah well i guess there's an argument for that look i think you should be able to do it don't get me wrong but i think it is weird that you're allowed to do it you're not allowed to be topless but you are allowed to be topless with paint on your tits yeah that's the fact that part you're not allowed to be topless what the fuck is that that? I mean, it's just like we have,

what, San Fernando Valley is world capital of porn, but at the same time, if a woman goes topless on the beach, it's considered indecent exposure and you go to jail.

We're very ridiculous. What if we get pants painted on and we go to the strip club? I don't think you can do that. I think they'll arrest you. We should try. Try to paint your dick

and walk to the strip club? Just paint jeans on. Paint jeans. Yeah, I guess. Why not? Make it realistic. It really gets down to the question of how thin is clothes. At what point in time is it not clothes?

When it's opaque, is it clothes? I can see the outline of your dick. If you're wearing clear pants, are you allowed to wear clear pants? Say if you were wearing, it looked like saran wrap, clear pants, and I just see your cock and balls. Is that legal? Because you're wearing clothes., it looked like saran wrap, clear pants, and I just see your cock and balls. Is that legal? Because you're wearing clothes. You're just wearing clear clothes.

Probably not legal. I think it's, unless there's, unless you trimmed, like, I think if you had no pubic hair, it might be legal. What if you had this whole monster bush? I think it's the bush. Ass hair, everything. No underwear. Walking around. So, are you allowed to walk around in underwear? That's a

question. Yeah. Are you? I think so. Can you just walk somewhere with underwear on? Can you walk into a store with underwear on? I would think so. You can walk in if you have board shorts and no underwear on. They don't even know. And meanwhile, there's just a thin layer of cloth between you

and your dangerous dick. Girls wear bathing suits everywhere, so that's underwear. dangerous dick. Girls wear bathing suits everywhere, so that's underwear. Are they allowed to wear bathing suits into a store? Yeah. Every store? My ex-girlfriends do.

You date a bunch of sneaky bitches, though. Olive Garden in a bathing suit. She went in a bathing suit to Olive Garden. That's how you know you're classy.

Boy. By the way. You should have married that girl. The naked story brings back a memory. I had the most annoying neighbors in the universe who are hardcore Christian fundamentalists,

total freaks who made noise at all hours. Don't give out their address online, but give out the house right next to them. Just text it to me. I'll be nice. Plus, they probably moved by now and it's somebody else who would get stuck with people. But in any case,

these guys were just bugging the shit out of me and they were in the back the back they were cleaning their car it was like the way the houses were set up this was about a full one foot out of my screen door that was open in the back with summer so there was only i only had the screen door but you could see inside because i had the light on i was like how do i piss these people off they're bugging the hell out of me with their obnoxious music. I was like, you know what? Fuck, I'll play Naked Chef.

So I was cooking at the moment. They were right there. So I decided I'll just cook naked. And they are not quite paying attention yet. So I'm going to make sure to pump the music a little so they'll look inside. With one second from the time I did that, they were out back in the house, locked behind them. Wow.

You like it when they watch that I can tell yeah there was a guy who was arrested did you hear about this story? a guy was arrested for that very thing

in Springfield, Virginia a guy named Eric Williamson was arrested and charged with indecent exposure for failing to put on any clothes

after getting up at 5.30am to make some coffee in his house in his house in his house in his own fucking house a woman and her seven-year-old daughter had cut across williams front yard and saw him through his kitchen window well first of all that cunt's a trespasser right and in fucking colorado and parts west they could just shoot that crazy bitch so she called the cops

because the guy was making coffee naked the guy got out of fucking bed and made coffee. It's not like he was beating off in front of the window, banging on it. Hey! You and the kid! That's crazy. If convicted, Williamson could be fined $2,000 and could spend a year in jail. And this is incredible. This is 2009. I don't know what happened.

But I think this has happened more than once. My favorite entire the other day was some guy gave a $2,000 ticket to a toddler who was peacing in his own backyard. Oh, God. A toddler? Yep. It did happen again. It happened in October this year in Yorkstown, Virginia. And, again, it's all places where it's fucking too hot out.

Those people are retarded. Not all of them, but a good percentage of them, right? A good, solid percentage. If you're in Virginia, a good, solid percentage of the people that you're solid. Is that even a word? Is that what I said? I think I said solid.

I heard it coming out of my mouth. I'm like, stupid. By the way, both of these incidents happened in Virginia. Two separate towns in Virginia. God, people are stupid as fuck. This guy was 69 years old. He was in his house. He was

standing naked in front of the window. Well, that might have been different. This guy seems a little creepy. It's, again, a woman with her kids, walking her kids. And this dude, she said he made no effort to cover himself. It was in clear view of the public. You know why? Because he probably is not even sure if he's alive

anymore. He's 69 years old. When was the last time anyone touched his dick? He's probably on all kinds of pills. And he's like, I just want to be naked in front of the window. Am I even alive anymore? Does somebody out there have the answers for me? So he takes his clothes off and stands in front of the mirror.

It's always some cock-blocking bitch just hating with her kids. Not to say the guy wasn't creepy and crazy. I'm sure he is. But really, it's your house. You should be allowed to be naked. You know what's fun about having a beetle is that every time you drive by kids they punch each other because it's uh you slug bug beetle and it's black you're supposed to go like slug bug black and then you punch the person i don't know what you're talking about i've never heard of that yeah it's like a kid's thing that every time you

see a beetle you have to say the color of the beetle like slug bug red if it's a red beetle and then you punch the person in that oh so they could punch you if they see the same car again right or if they see another beetle oh any beetle yeah so it's funny because you see it when you drive a beetle you see it if like just driving by people you'll see it like every five people will do it yeah i would recommend not playing that game with anybody who knows how to punch yeah right well i was thinking just like a schoolgirl, like when they get out of class, you know, just keep on driving by real slow, just Japanese schoolgirls. Japanese schoolgirls, what?

Like a school. Going by a school and punching each other? Brian, you need to go to a doctor. You really need to go to a doctor. The idea that you're on a podcast that's seen and listened to by millions of fucking people staggers folks at home right now. They're like, this guy, does he understand that no one understands him? Yeah, a schoolgirl.

And then you fly those airplanes and get a kite. You know, light a cigarette. You know when you cut grass? Something wrong with your brain. These sentences that you're putting together, they're nonsensical. And you say, I'm like, yeah, you know. I don't know. Maybe I'm partially to yeah, you know. I don't know. Maybe I'm partially to blame for nursing this.

I don't know. Maybe it's partially my fault. Why is it naked? Why is being naked illegal? Is that a religion thing? Is that even in the Bible? Do you have to wear clothes? You know, it's awesome because all this sexual stuff is, it's hilarious because, especially

in Christianity, because Jesus doesn't really talk about sex. I mean, there's like one minor reference where people think actually it was a joke and he was trying to say the opposite. But in any case, it's a known issue. It just never touches on the topic. For all we know, he could have been having orgies from morning to night

or could have been totally set. We have no idea. This is Jesus, but what about the, doesn't the Old Testament have some sexual references? Oh. Doesn't it, does it forbade homosexuality? Oh, yeah. Yeah, what does it say about

if a man lines with a man, he should be stoned, right? Oh, yeah, which maybe we interpreted in a different way, but yeah. Yeah, it'd be cool if they meant that. Like, if you guys are having sex,

you should get high first because it'll feel better. Wouldn't it be funny if it was just a big misunderstanding and the dummies came along, oh, we gotta throw rocks at them. And then it became that.

It was like if two guys are lying around together, like, listen, if you want to get really comfortable with each other, you got to get high first. That should be it. That should be it. They make you emperor of the world. That should be one of the first laws passed. Yeah. I've always said there's two types of people that are trying to stop gay marriage and gay sex. It's people that are really dumb and people that are secretly worried that dicks are delicious.

Oh, yeah. Of course. That's all it is. It's people that are just fucking fighting off the gay, man, and they're not winning. They're fighting off the gay, but they're just fucking not winning. The fact that you would want to control anybody who's into anything sexually. You know, like, dudes, I have friends that are into really big women. I don't want to mention names, Sam Tripoli, but there's a guy, he fucking loves big women.

He jokes, but he loves a man. A girl walked by, 210, 220. He's like, fuck yeah, mama. But that's him. I don't have to do it. Everybody's got their own thing, you know? Some men are into, like, really big women, really tall women. Some men are into, like, little tiny ones.

Like, whatever the fuck you're into, man. I don't care. Why would anybody care? But back in the day, someone decided that gay dudes are against God's way. How did that originally how did that eventually, originally start? Is that Old Testament? It's Old Testament, right?

it's Old Testament, but yeah, you know, in, Does it exist in pre-Christianity? Yeah, it does. Homophobia does?

Yeah. Where does it exist? You do have it in a bunch of places. Well, also the same places at different points in time maybe completely change their tune dramatically,

but you do have it in places and times that other than christian stuff like in a lot of a lot of chinese culture not exactly friendly toward homosexuality but the japanese oddly enough especially the samurais were very friendly with japanese or freaks that's a whole different game every weird things about sex is is in play From octopuses doing schoolgirls to everything else in between. Japanese were bad motherfuckers. Their culture was so innovative when it came to so many different things. The discipline, the controlling of the mind, all the different innovations in martial arts. So much of it came from Japan.

So much of it. When you think about how small Japan is in relation to the rest of the world, it's really kind of shocking. Japan's like the size of Texas, right? Not even. Not even the size of Texas. Yeah, Texas is fucking huge. Yeah, Texas.

I think Japan is, it might be like a fairly small area in comparison to one of our good sized states. And meanwhile, think about how much shit came from there. Yeah. It's amazing. It's weird how that happens, how one spot... What kind of religion were they practicing when... Shinto.

Shinto. And what is that based on? Shinto is, like, basically animism, so worship of nature, spirits, and stuff like that. They only even started calling it Shinto. It literally means the way of the gods. Only when Buddhism came around. Just because it's like, I guess means the way of the gods, only when Buddhism came around. Just because it's like, I guess we have to call our shit something to differentiate it from Buddhism.

And what year was this? Buddhism came around, I want to say 1200s. I want to say 1200s to Japan. AD or BC? Oh, no, AD. AD. And so 1200 AD, that's not that long ago, man. No.

That's crazy. Maybe a little bit before, But that's Buddhism in Japan. Buddhism in general was about 500 before like 2500 years ago. Where does Buddhism originally come from? What country? India. India. Yeah, you start out in India and then it diffuses.

But the weird thing is that today there's no Buddhism in India. Really? Or like tiny, tiny. Because what happens is, well, besides Muslim invasions in the north would destroy a bunch of temples and all that shit. But then the way Hinduism buddhism in india really and or like tiny tiny because what happens is well beside muslim invasions in the north would destroy a bunch of temples and all that shit but then the way hinduism react to it is brilliant you know in the west when you know protestantism comes out of catholicism they kill each other for 200 years when buddhism comes out hinduism start checking out what they do and then they steal a bunch of their ideas they bring them back into their thing

so if somebody's Hindu, they see the Buddhist thing. It's like, oh, we already do some of that shit. I don't need to switch religions. So they just blatantly borrow from it. And so less and less people in India had any need to convert because they could find room for that stuff within Hinduism.

That's sort of how Christianity absorbed a lot of pagans with changing their holidays like the christmas religion like or the christmas holiday and making that jesus's birthday when jesus is really supposed to be born in like june or something right it's like pagan holiday and but that difference is that in christianity they lie about it they try to pretend it doesn't happen in hinduism they're like yeah that's cool that was a good idea In Hinduism, they're like, yeah, that's cool. That was a good idea, and we borrowed it. They're smart.

Look, the Buddhists had a lot of fucking cool ideas. Yeah. How were the Buddhists, what was it about Buddhism that was so, there's no other religion that I know

that is so intent on the cleansing of consciousness and the purity of thought, the idea of meditation and isolating your consciousness to clear out all these impractical ideas like material wealth and the need for sexual satisfaction, all those different things managed through Buddhism. That's very rare that an ideology takes on such a strong and disciplined stance about expanding consciousness.

How did that start? Well, because Buddhism starts out as a mystical movement, right? Mystical movement, yeah. It's totally about mystical techniques designed to take you to a certain state of consciousness. That's why the whole point of Buddhism is not to become a Buddhist, it's to become a Buddha. You have to do the... It's not like worship the guy who did it, good for you.

Well, who cares? How does that affect you? It's about being able to do the same thing that the guy did. And so meditation in that sense is one of those techniques designed to take you there, to bring you to that state of consciousness

and turn you into a Buddha, essentially. That's a fascinating thing because that's sort of the case with anything that you're trying to achieve. Whether you're doing martial arts or you're doing art or anything, you're trying to find your own path through the example of others.

And that's one of the things that's really important about being around bad motherfuckers. people don't understand they really underestimate the importance of being around bad motherfuckers you gotta like know like what other people are capable of what they can do and in order to be like truly i mean in my experience to be truly inspired you know and when you find people that are like jealous around bad motherfuckers or try to hold people down if you find like if you have friends and those for like okay just to you whoever you are if you're a cock blocker if you're one of those guys that tries to fuck your friends

girlfriends or you you get jealous when your friends successful and you talk shit about him behind his back, and you stab him in the back. If you're one of those guys, you're just fucking yourself. If you see some guy, and he's doing better than you, you either have to accept one of two things. You've got to go, well, that guy's crazy. He works too hard.

Because there is that. Right. There is that. There's a lot of jealousy that's misplaced, because really, that person probably doesn't have as good a life as you if you know some good fishing that. Right. There is that. There's a lot of jealousy that's misplaced because really that person probably doesn't have as good a life as you if you know some good fishing spots. Right. But if you start feeling negative feelings towards them because they're successful, that's bad for you, man.

That is – the negative feelings that you're feeling towards him, they will fucking affect you. They will come after you. They will chip away at your self-esteem. Your mind will know that you're thinking of a... I've seen this before where a guy becomes real successful. At the comedy store, it was always like some guy will get a movie or something

or a series and take off. Then you see other comics. They're like, yeah, he's got a show now, man. This fucking guy's got a show. Meanwhile, they were like buddies just like a month ago. And this guy, somehow or another, that guy's success is causing this dude uncomfortable feelings. And so what he does is lashes out at the person who's successful. You're lashing out at yourself.

You've got to take your medicine. That feeling that you get when you know that you haven't done the best you can do that's to keep you from doing that again that terrible feeling of regret don't lash out at other people just take your fucking medicine and get your shit together it's easier said than done thought that easier said than done because then you have to do something greater than whine like a bitch about what somebody else is doing yeah yeah it's um the management of your energy that that is the most important aspect of living this life managing your energy and managing to keep it somehow keeping your thoughts keeping your consciousness your focus in a good

direction in a healthy direction how do you do it because i mean i was going over in my mind i was like how many damn things does joe do you know from comedy to the podcast ufc you know like there's some you work out religiously you do all this stuff they're like literally how the hell do you do it with 24 hours in a day staying semi-sane everything i do i like to do that's the big part of it like you know i was looking forward to this podcast it's gonna be a lot of fun i'm looking forward to going to jujitsu i'm looking forward to working out i'm looking forward to this podcast. This is going to be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to going to jiu-jitsu. I'm looking forward to working out. I'm looking forward to writing tonight. I'm going to get some writing.

I'm looking forward to getting in the tank later. You know, I don't do anything. I love working for the UFC. I look forward to the big fights. I look forward to the little fights that nobody even cares about. I love what I do, you know, and that to me, the thing that makes me the happiest in life is that I've found all these things that interest me. I know we all have different personalities. We had Tim Ferriss here yesterday, and that motherfucker likes to salsa dance.

I don't get it. I don't get it, but I love Tim Ferriss. So I found things that stimulate me for whatever reason, and those are the things that I pursue. So I'm constantly motivated and energized by my activities, all the things that I do. I've had jobs before, and even a job like Fear Factor, which was a great job, still I would be like,

what the fuck am I doing here, man? Collecting a check. This is not what I would rather be doing. If you could figure out a way to live your life where everything you're doing is what you want to do at that moment, that's a really difficult thing to

manage. I have to think that I know that I've worked very hard, but I think I'm very fortunate. There's no question about it. There's a lot of fortune involved in that. There's no way it's all my work. But it's both.

Because it's not going to – I mean, fortune can play a role, but it's not going to happen unless you do the work either. It goes both ways. Yeah. You know, I think everybody has their own take on what life is really all about, what it is for them. You've got to find out what your thing is, whether it's studying ancient religions. Or some people, they get their fucking thrills out of combing a mountainside with a brush looking for fossils. That thrills them to no end.

Everybody's got their own fucking vibe. And if you want to be a happy person, you've got to find your vibe. That, to me, has always been the biggest problem that I have with any sort of totalitarian or any sort of really strict ideology, is that you cannot apply the same rules and the same behavior patterns to everybody.

Because when you do that, you lose the beauty of the freak. You know, like I was talking, we're talking about Joey Diaz today. Me and my friend Aubrey were having a conversation about Joey, about how awesome he is. He's just such a rare person. Like he's just such a rare freak. And he's such, you know, he's just such a rare freak and he's such you know he's just a crazy dude i can't get him into other countries because he fucking back in the day kidnapped a dude machine gun stole coke from him he's crazy he's that he can't go to seattle he's got warrants i mean he's he's a

maniac but he's he's a beautiful craziness like all these nutty life experiences, both positive and negative, have made this incredible person that you really – he's a joy to be around. And he's a beautiful human being. He's always hugging people and everywhere he goes, he's like your number one fan. He's happy to see you. He's the type of guy that will go to the same places in his neighborhood all the time. As soon as he walks in, they all know him. They're like, Joey, what's going on, Joey?

What are you doing, cocksucker? What are you doing? And they're just like this burst of happiness because this guy's around. Well, you know, if you follow the tenets of most religions, that guy's a fucking sinner by the highest stretch of the imagination. Right. The furthest explanation of the term, you know, like to a T. He's a fucking sinner across the board. Everything he's doing is wrong except being nice to people.

Smoking weed and whacking off. He's fucking crazy. Living with 11 cats. You can't control people and get those variables, you know. I mean, the stuff you find within the rules is the ordinary. If you want the extraordinary, it's going to be outside of the rules. That's just the name of the game. But, of course, that threatens any institution.

It's threatened by that. And so they will try to squash it and not make it happen. Like in school. Of course. Like when you're in school, they don't want any acting out. They don't want anybody who's not. That's the weirdest thing about school is that just by virtue of the fact that you have to sit there and do the work when they say you have to sit there and do the work. Just by virtue of that, they control your consciousness and you relinquish your consciousness to them.

And that sets you up for a lifetime of work where you're doing what you don't want to do when they want you to do it. Yeah, because school is not – realistically, school is not about educating an awesome human being. It's designed to make you function in an average way in this society. While educating you. But that's the primary aspect. I mean it certainly educates you more than not going to school. Sure. No, yeah, okay.

Because that's the other thing. It's like when you hear the anti-intellectualism as the crazy fundamentalist, it's like no, please give me back the schools any day now. Anti-intellectualism has the crazy fundamentalist. It's like, no, please give me back the schools any day now. But then when you are in it, then you get to talk shit about it. And so you can see all the limits and all the problems and all that. It could be so much better than it is. And it's frustrating when you see its limits.

Well, you are a professor of religion. Yeah, history in general. History in general but and you have uh you wrote something recently that i read where you were uh really it seemed like you just had had a really frustrating moment or you had to release yourself with your your writing about academia what what what did you say there's nothing like having an open letter to an academic college and um and quoting tupac fuck you an open letter yeah fuck you and your motherfucking mama. Is that what you did? That's the end of the long letter. It sounds so beautiful with your accent, though.

There's a lot of people that go, hey, man, who's that guy who sounds like GSP? They think you sound like GSP, which is ridiculous. I don't think. I don't see it. It's French. It's not the same thing. God damn it. Well, that's Americans for you, man.

Anything that's not like us. I don't even know. Some fucking French or or some shit guy could be speaking in arabic yeah he's fucking frenching it up over there i think i told you that before one time a guy asked me how are you from he's like oh you're from you're from italy no way i was just in paris last week oh wow i live on earth so when you wrote this this and you quoted Tupac in this open letter to academia, what was your – just tell us what the letter said. I was pissed. I was just frustrated, which is most of the time I'm not

because I'm hanging out with students, and students are awesome. 99% of my students have a great time hanging out. They are fun. It makes good conversation. That's the part of school I like. Right. I'm frustrated by all the rest, the administration and the bullshit that's around. I mean, I noticed my teaching, students are always ecstatic.

Oh, man, you're doing such a good job. Sometimes I'm like, really? Because I was having a really shitty day and I feel like I gave you crap. That's good. Like, yeah, yeah, this is awesome. I'm like, no. But then I look in the next class and I look at what regular teaching look like and it makes you want to shoot yourself because it's

dry as hell. There's no attempt to connect it to real life. There's, academia is like its own little dead box for the most part. And the only reason why people read academic stuff is because somebody's forcing them to, because nobody's going to go out and buy that book and spend it on a Saturday night. The problem with academia is that it's populated 90%

by people who spend their Saturday night shining their PhDs and devising new ways to squeeze all joy out of learning, because that's what they do, really. But they don't really want to squeeze all the joy out of learning. They just are not motivated to make learning more exciting? I think it's who they are. They are joyless motherfuckers,

and so they transmit that to their students, and they don't know how to think in any other way. And part of it is the institution. Part of it is the repetition. Part of it, whatever that may be. Is part of it just the idea of uh just going to school for a long time yourself and you you sort of get used to this fact this cold hard fact that you have to do things you don't want to do and probably that i'm sure that has a lot to do with it you come to

accept the norms of like in any field when they school you into the field and they try to mold you in what the expert look like they are basically trying to squash your individuality exactly the things you were saying about Joey. The stuff that makes you you that's wild and weird. That all gets to be squashed in the name of becoming a professional. And so academia does that as well. Grad school is a mind-numbing torture for the most part.

The world is going to be all newscasters. It's going to be people with no real opinions that will never say anything that will offend anybody. They just fucking bullshit in their way through life until their ticker stops. But to give an idea of how low the barrier is about this stuff, because that's exactly the scenario you're describing is exactly what happens. To give an idea of how low the barrier is, the first day of classes and any semester I teach, first day, I'll go in, I'll put on red hot chili peppers, and I'll give out the syllables, shaking hands with people. Not a big deal, right?

All you did is press play for some music and shook hands with another human being for two seconds each. How many people are in your class? Maybe 50 or something. So, you know, five minutes of a song, you get to shake hands with everybody then you start before i even start i'm like 10 steps ahead because people are like no professor ever shook my hand and i'm like are you kidding me you know that's the big deal that one press play music and shake hands before you even get started that sets you apart wow that's sad you know that's just but i've seen it i mean i've co-taught with some people who first day of classes they walk into a class and they're like hello students my name is doctor and right there

for me the semester is over because it's like your name is not doctor anything you dick your name is joe whatever it's like you already put on the title and put on this big pretense to create a separation with students that's i need that in my. I need to be a doctor. Can I get an honorary doctorate somewhere? I'm sure you can. Dr. Rogan. If there's anybody out there. Yeah, it is. Any distinction.

Mr., Sir. When I used to teach Taekwondo, everybody was Mr. It was Mr. O'Malley, Mr. Smith, Mr. Kim. It was very formal. Whenever they address you, Yes, Sir. No, Sir. It was very formal. Whenever, you know, they address you, yes, sir, no, sir, it was always, sir. Like that immediately puts that air of them being above you.

It's very cultish, a lot of martial arts behavior. And it's managed in a good way, so it's beneficial and, you know, it's good for your character. But the same aspects of it easily can be manipulated. And we all know martial arts instructors who wound up manipulating their students. You're a martial artist as well, I should add. Of course. And you have been for a long time. We all know there's always stories of like,

it's always like a guy is molesting his student, like a young teenage girl that's learning under him, or that kind of a situation. Very similar to the type of situations where you would have preachers would do something like that or professors. There's always professors that are banging their students and scandals will arise where they give preferential treatment to girls who give head. It's a story as old as time, right? I'm going to keep my mouth shut about that. Come on, son.

Come on, son. You're a beautiful guy. You've got a great accent. You know how to kick a little ass. I bet they throw it at you, son. There was one time this was the most weird. I laughed for like an hour after that. There was at the end of the semester.

I mean, I'm an easy grader as it is. I give A's left and right. And there was this girl who really did horrible. And there was nothing i could do to push her up it's like you really fucked up i mean you're getting it i forget i see with me which is basically you didn't do shit it's like really and i kid you not she's like what do i need to do for a higher grade and i'm like i'm like still trying to check where that is going. And then at one point she looks at me and she's like, oh, come on, you know you want it. Oh, shit.

Dude, my dick would have exploded in my pants like a firecracker. I would have probably bled out from my dick. You should have called her bluff and just shoved your finger right up in her pussy and see if it was hot. Yeah. What do you think... First of all,

what did she look like? No, unfortunately, she wasn't hot. God damn it. Shit. So why was she so confident? No, she was super hot. I don't want to ruin your fun.

Oh, you ruined it already, man. Sorry. My memory's not that bad. She was in a wheelchair. Damn it. Dude, how much did she weigh? At least, did she have a nice body? Yeah, she wasn't big. She wasn't bad. She was in a wheelchair. Damn it. Dude, how much did she weigh? At least, did she have a nice body? Yeah, she wasn't big.

She wasn't big. She wasn't big. No, regular size. Size-wise, she was okay. So that was the only one in your entire academic career? No, no. I mean, but that was the most... Don't be silly, Joe.

That was the most blatant... Excuse me. That was blatant and funny, you know what I mean? Right, right, right. Because most people are cool about it,

you know, they are flirting with you, but it's, it's polite, it's, that was so, and it wasn't even about flirting, it was,

I want a higher grade, that's it. Wow. She can give a crap on any level, you know. Do you, that's hilarious, man.

Do you, are you like cognizant of that? Like when you talk to girls, like do you have this unfair advantage over them as a professor? Yeah, I mean, bottom line is you don't want to be a dick. Right, right, right. You don't want to be a dick with anybody. So I break the rules all the time.

But kind of like what you're saying about Joey is nobody's ever going to get hurt by me. So the fact that I break rules to me doesn't mean shit because they must be stupid rules. If nobody gets hurt if I break them, then why are they rules to begin with? Because we need bureaucracy to keep people employed. So all that crap about, oh, you're not supposed to hug your students

because that would be sexual harassment or some shit, I totally ignore it, but at the same time, yeah, you want to be careful with people. You're not hurting anybody, you're just hugging people.

Yeah, absolutely. How many teachers wind up banging girls in class? Well, because obviously... Is it illegal? Well, it's highly... They lose their job immediately. Do they really?

Yeah, of course. What if she's like 23? Tough shit. Tough shit. You can't bang your students. No, I mean, it's obviously legal if you're talking high school

or something when you're talking underage. No, no, no. I'm talking college students. I'm talking people in their 20s. It's legal, so nobody's going to put you in jail or something,

but you're going to get fired by the university. Really? This is against their policies. What if she has big tits? What if she's hot as fuck? No, for real. What if she's like Pamela Anderson looking and you're like, look, I'm single.

She's single. I taught her some English. She's like, oh, I had a good time. Come on! You should be my lawyer. Well, it seems like just because you're teaching somebody, I mean, what if you give her a B? Give her a fucking B. Come on.

Not even being unreasonable. So their standard is you can't date while class is in session. Oh, okay. Or, you know, the 16 weeks or whatever. Well, that's the only time you have any power. Exactly. That's ridiculous. Why would you date her after class is over?

When class is over, you're going to meet the next group of kids. Hopefully there's another hot 23-year-old. And you keep this party rolling. They're a bunch of cockwalkers. That's what it is. No, you can't. You really can't. You can't bang your students, right? What about dudes? Are they allowed to bang dudes?

What if you're gay and you've got some gay kids? Or some really gullible straight dudes that are willing to... Is that the same thing? No sex with boys too? Or fellas? Unfortunate. Silly. Wouldn't it be great if we just had teachers that wouldn't do anything creepy? No sex with boys too? Yes. Or fellas? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unfortunate. Silly. That's fucking goddammit.

Wouldn't it be great if we just had teachers that wouldn't do anything creepy? You know? Wouldn't that be like way simpler? Right. You know,

we need, it's not gonna happen. Is it possible to ever get to a position where you have an enlightened group of people that are teaching students in like this open and friendly way where we actually have enlightened group of people that are teaching students in like this open and friendly

way where we actually have a group of people that come out of these classes and can contribute to society is that possible like you you're you're in the inside right um i don't know man because the point is for good teaching means it's who you are it's not a skill that you pick up because you read enough books or some shit it's part of is an extension of who you are and you do it in a certain way so you can design the perfect university the perfect college the perfect teaching environment the reality is it all boils down to who's in there who are the people there because that's what makes all the difference no matter how you design it if you have the perfect setup with the wrong people it's not gonna work that's the case with everything right yeah absolutely it's always amazing to me like when you show up at a place

and it's like one place and they're like they specialize in cheese and you go there and everyone's a cheese expert and they're all like super knowledgeable and they're really nice and friendly and it's like a small family business and all the pieces are in place. How is this even possible? How can you get this perfect environment, even if it's just a small cheese store? And is it possible to get that on a grand scale, like a university? But that's why even the single small case usually works during that first generation with the energy of the people who put it in there, who made the place amazing. Rarely you're going to go three generations down the road and the same thing is going to be going on.

Yeah, that seems to be because they didn't have to work for it, right? It's sort of like us. Partially it's that, and partially it's also who they are. They probably, they don't, they're not as creative or they're not as funny or they're not as smart or they're not as whatever. And somebody else down the road is not going to be because you're not going to have generations after generations of perfect people. And it's individual in that sense. Yeah, when I look at people and when I look at the greater sort of historical picture

that we have of the human race, and you see all these sort of peaks and valleys and peaks and valleys of civilization and decline, it seems to me like it's really hard for people to figure something out and then pass it on to other people with the same impact as them figuring out themselves so you have like all this all these accomplishments of the people that came before you like running water and electricity and but yet they're being enjoyed by people who don't even understand them a little bit and really can't appreciate the position of excellence and amazement that you really should be in

in this 2012 era. Can you imagine if we were in a post-apocalyptic scenario, if somebody is born after that and you have to explain what society now was like it was like yeah you know we could talk into this microphone and there were like half a million people listening across it's like what exactly no way it's because internet i don't know some shit what people don't understand is how easy that could happen and we could go right back to way the way things were just a few hundred years ago that's a small

small skip but it's easy it's really easy it's what we have is so fragile i think they're you know they see something like katrina and they sort of get a sense of it they see uh sandy hurricane sandy and the the weeks without power i think opened up a lot of people's eyes that this motherfucker is way more fragile than you think. We have a very, very fragile sort of thin veil of civilization that we live under the illusion of. I mean, even if you look at something as simple as oil, which we base our whole civilization around some oil right now. Oil, I mean, we know that it's not going to last that long.

We don't know exactly how long. It could be a century, in which case, you know, it doesn't affect us. It could be who the hell knows. But the bottom line is it's running out. But it will affect your grandchildren. Yeah, big time. After it's gone. But at the same time, we haven't even gotten a good substitute.

And so it's like we're running on a society where right now it's on a dead train. You know, it's heading somewhere where there's no... Unless somebody figures something out. Yeah, well, I think that, yeah, we actually had this discussion yesterday, the idea of the race. There's a race, like society is running out of resources and we're living in this crazy sort of,

still this barbaric conqueror sort of a way, stealing resources from other nations. But at the same time, technology and the connectedness of human beings is reaching like epic levels that it's never reached before. And it's one of the reasons why it's making it so much more difficult to govern because it's really hard to bullshit people. Oh, man, I got a story for you. This is going to – it blew my mind the other day when I got these emails. I was speaking of this ability to connect with people on a greater scale and all of that that you're mentioning. story for you this is gonna it blew my mind the other day when i got these emails i was um speaking of this ability to connect with people on a greater scale and all of that they are mentioning

i got an email maybe four or five days ago um when the very beginning of the israeli palestinian thing that just started i get this email from this guy in israel who tells me he just ran into a bomb shelter and he's just hanging out there for the time being. And he says, you know, I have enough food, I have enough water, but what I'm doing to kill time in the meantime is Joe Rogan Experience, Duncan Trussell podcast, and Drunken Towers and my podcast. And I was like, fuck, really? You're in a bunker in Israel with missiles flying, and you're telling me that?

That already blows my mind. Now, a day later or two days or something, I got an email from some guy, Palestinian guy who lives in France, who tells me all about, oh, I like this thing you did. And then she started getting about, you know, I'm really freaked out about my family in Gaza. I'm super scared. And, you know, you may want to know that what I'm doing right now to be able to chill out a second and not freak out about these things is I'm listening to you, I'm listening to Rogan, I'm listening to Tristan. I'm like, you've got to be fucking kidding me, right?

You know, one Israeli guy, one Palestinian guy basically telling me the exact same thing. Whoa. I was like, I didn't even know what to say. You know, it was... Holy shit. Yeah, that's exactly... he was... Holy shit. Yeah.

That's exactly... Yeah, with youthful societies in this day and age, like the youth of societies in this day and age, they have a perspective that really was never achievable before. And they have an access

to things like podcasts and the internet and websites. And there's not as much difference between people as there used to be. There's just not. I mean, in that way. It's hard to sell people on the idea of an enemy that you don't even know, that you never met. That's the beauty of globalization in a cultural level

and an economic level is the fact that, yeah, nationalism is going to go down. All these bullshit stereotypes about the people from across any border will become easier to know real shit rather than made-up facts that nobody got to test anyway because you never got to see them. Yeah, it's funny how everyone's scared of the idea of the new world order. Everybody's scared of the idea of one global government. I remember there's this big thing.

McCaffrey on CNN was talking about the Amero, and that we're going to merge with Mexico and Canada, and that's why they're crashing the economy, in order for us to come up with an Amero, and then we have one currency for the entire region. I'm like, how is that fucking you any less than you're getting fucked now? Are you going to really trip out about that? If we had one world government,

would it really be any less fair than this crazy government that we operate under? What would be different for Bradley Manning, the dude who released all his WikiLeaks documents? If it was one world government, would he still be in jail with no access to people or naked in a fucking cell? What would be different? It seems like Guantanamo Bay would be the same. Would Guantanamo Bay be the same if it was one world government? I mean, if we really want to call ourselves the shining hope for civilization,

how do we have something like Guantanamo Bay? How do we take these dudes and put blindfolds on them and fucking dog collar them behind their hands? One of the things that cracks me up about, well, maybe cracks me up is the wrong word after mentioning Guantanamo, but in any case, one of the things that's weird to me is I'll take an example of the United States government.

People are either flag-waving, we are the greatest country on earth kind of shit, or usually when they start finding out that no, it's not all beautiful, and you start finding out, oh, we just happened to kill a few hundred thousand Indians and enslave a bunch of people and set up a military coup in Chile and did all this shit in Guatemala. All of the ugly stuff of American history. People flip and they're like, the only evil in the world is the US government and everybody

else who's against it must be nice. So if some crazy fundamentalist is nice, no, they're just misunderstood, really. It's like, fuck, man. It's not all black and white. It's not that there's all that good guys, bad guys stories. It gets more complicated than that. Well, that's why people are terrified of someone like that American Taliban guy that decides the United States is evil and is going to join the Taliban.

It's like people, they have a very simplistic view of the world that's shaped by fiction. And fiction has ruined many a mind to the complexities of the actual real reality that we live in because most fiction is being distributed in a way that i don't think the human brain is designed to process like the idea of movies the the human body does not know what the fuck to do with movies and that's one of the reasons why they're so amazing to us when you go see something like avatar and then you leave the theater you have avatar depression right like that shit's real like people have avatar depression because they wish that life could be like it is in right navia wherever the fuck it is where is it navia yeah guess what it's not even real in navia okay you fuck navia is's not real, god damn it.

But we imitate our atmospheres. We're set up to do that. You know, if I live in a tribe and Daniele Bolelli's there, I want to listen to Daniele Bolelli because this guy's got the information. He's the head of the tribe. Let's follow him and we can learn from him. And it allows us to learn things without having to fucking risk getting eaten by boars ourselves. Like we understand, like we get the knowledge of that from you. And then we see things and we see things like something happens to somebody and it's a shocking thing and you learn from it.

You see drama and all these different our human system that are set up to sort of interpret all these different things that are happening in the world and place them in a way that allows you to stay alive the longest to breed the most effectively but when you sit someone down in front of a movie screen all those triggers and all those reward systems and all those all those different things that you have that have passed human beings from generation to generation until they've gotten to this point, all those things that are set up to reward you for certain things in the material world are being manipulated by giant HD screens

and THX sound and fucking perfectly written scripts and special effects and CGI. And then you really think that there's fucking good guys and bad guys out there. Of course. You start thinking, this is America, okay? And these colors don't run. You start getting crazy.

That's why I like modern, like the last decade or two of television because it's changing the rules of the game. You go from your traditional good guys, bad guy story to now you have you know shows like dexter where the hero is the serial killer or the sopranos or even something like game of thrones yeah that is everybody's the good guys are awesome and they do horrendous things occasionally the bad guys you hate their guts except that they do something really cool all of a sudden that throws you off. And it's like, that's more like life.

Much more like life. I started watching Homeland last night. How is it? Pretty fucking good. I had heard from a lot of people that it's really good. They said, dude, that's like a movie every week. It's like a really good movie every week. And I heard from so many different people.

I was like, okay, I got to give this a shot. So I watched the pilot last night. It's fucking good. That dude, I don't know. I should Google it because I don't know Homeboy's name. Whoever the guy is, it's the lead. That guy was in that Stephen King movie, Dreamcatcher, which is a really good movie for about three quarters of the movie,

and then it fucking falls apart all over itself, shits all over itself. But the guy who's the lead guy is this same dude. What is his name? Damian Lewis. He's one of those guys, you've seen him in a million fucking movies, a million TV shows, but you don't know who the hell he is. He's been in everything, but that guy can act his fucking ass off. And it's that other chick um what is her name claire danes who plays crazy very well it's pretty fucking good dude it's a good show i just started it last night on my list i've been addicted to uh the walking dead lately yeah duncan can't stop talking about that shit not enough days

in the world man i know not enough time to be sitting around watching all this amazing shit that people are producing oh speaking of tv but all of this is a pale, you know, it's tiny steps preparing you for the real shit. The day when in 2030 or whatever, Joe and I will sit down to read the real Conan, the way it's supposed to be done for television. That would be the good day. Yeah, I think we're doing it now, man. Just doing this and doing, I mean, this is like this forum, the complete open free forum, like a real complete open free forum. Right. This is what has been missing in our society for a long fucking time.

You could not get any mass distributed product, whether it was a television show or a radio show, you really couldn't get anything that had as few rules as what podcasts have. That's crazy. And have the ease of distribution the way they have. I mean, like we were talking about a guy in Palestine and a guy in Israel, and he's listening to these podcasts in a bunker. It's fucking crazy. That didn't exist before.

There was no way for those guys to be exposed to all these different ideas and expose us to all these different ideas too. It's one of the cooler things about what's going on with this experience of podcasting and social media, for me personally, is that it's very much a two-way street. I get a lot of feedback and a lot of information and a lot of fuel from the people in social media, just from articles to read or interesting points that someone might have,

whether they disagreed with me or whether they had an alternative point of view that you might also want to consider this. A lot of fucking like-minded, interesting people are out there no event man i actually without kissing your ass but i have to thank you to no end because ever since being on your podcast the first time and then jumping on duncan's podcast and so on it really opened up my world exactly to what you're saying realizing that there are a bunch of people around the world who may be, you know, the weird freak of the little place where they live,

where it doesn't mix with everyone else, but thanks to internet, you can click and connect with a greater, bigger world that it's awesome what you put you in touch with. You know, in many ways, without sounding too flamboyant, it really makes me feel better about humanity, finding out that that stuff is out there. So it's, I don't know, man, I think it really makes me feel better about humanity finding out that that stuff is out there so it's uh i don't know man i think is uh it really blew my mind after being on your show the first time

and then being invited again and beginning to realize that there are other ways of communicating beside the ones i'm familiar with and the effect that it has on people real effect you know real shit that people those are the best emails right When people write you stuff that happened to them, how they dealt with or how something random that you said in five minutes on a podcast affected somebody in Australia and that was a huge thing for their life. And you're like, it's like the most humbling thing in the world, you know? Yeah. Really?

It's beautiful. What we said there had that impact on your life. It just makes you thankful, you know? A hundred percent. Yeah. I'm incredibly thankful. You know, I'm thankful to you. If, if it wasn't for people like you that I have these interesting conversations with, I wouldn't be able to do this either. If it was just me by myself, I would, I repeat the same stories with guests. Imagine me by myself, this podcast would suck. You know, I need people to talk to. And that's part of the beauty of having a podcast is that if you look at human consciousness as sort of a – almost like – you know the computer programs, brains, where you just have a thought and then all these branches off a thought.

A lot of comedians use them to organize data, to organize jokes and segues and stuff like that. If you look at the human consciousness as one big sort of brain, what we've essentially done by having hundreds and hundreds of hours of this sort of open-minded, sometimes silly, but honest and friendly discussion is that you start this other branch, and then boom, these things blossom off of this branch, whether it's the Duncan Trussell podcast or the Joey Diaz podcast or Tom Segura's podcast with his wife Christina, whatever it is, your podcast, these branches break off and form their own branches, and then it sort of attracts this group of people

who get all this positive uh energy from these discussions and all the this positive feedback this this resonance you know that you get from from all these people that are that are really feeling like excitement and joy and enjoyment from these discussions and it really does improve their life that and that is like creates like a whole it's almost like a sect of consciousness you know it's like we we all know that what what we accept we all know that this is good for everybody we all know that there's a way to live life where you could be as friendly as possible whenever you can and you know it doesn't mean not calling people on their bullshit either because by the way they need that and if someone calls you in your bullshit you

should go you take your fucking medicine go you know what you're right i i was a douche there i fucked up i didn't mean to do that it wasn't my intention that's uh that's one of the the most interesting things about having a forum like that is the the ability to do that the ability to create like some big just network of human beings all connected to each other yeah which is i mean really are literally throwing a rock and the repulse effect you can't even begin to see them and when they do come back at you it's it's amazing it's really like the stories you get are like no fucking way really our conversation in that particular day had that impact. It's weird, man.

It's really mind-blowing. Yeah. It's totally unexpected, too. That's the weird part about it. It sort of happened completely organically. Just like this podcast happened completely organically. I mean, before this podcast, I was just, you know, we were just doing stand-up. And I would write blogs a lot.

And every now and then we would do like a thing. I think we did it on Justin TV where we would put a laptop online and we'd all look through the web camera and go, what's up, bitch? It was really stupid. But this sort of slowly but surely turned into what it is now.

And now when I do these shows and I meet all these people that say, oh, it changed their life and, you know, this, I'm like, okay. I don't know how it happened. I don't know. I don't know.

But I obviously have an obligation here. It's obviously a lot bigger than me. So I got to keep this ball rolling. But that's the way through because, you know, some people would see the exact same thing

and feel like, oh my God, damn, I have that effect on people. I am so cool. They're silly bitches. First of all, I try to bring as many other people through. The way I describe it is we found a hole. We found a hole in the fence.

What I'm trying to do is bring as many cool people through the hole as possible. That's, to me, one of the most important aspects of the position. When you're in a position where people are paying attention, they're paying attention to you, you should point out some stuff that you've seen, whether it's really good bands or really funny people or really interesting things. So my whole approach to it, whether it's Twitter or anything,

is constantly pointing out the things that I find fascinating and that I find interesting. And even that, speaking of changing lives, how many doors do you open that way for somebody who maybe is exactly what we were describing earlier? Somebody who's awesome at what they do, they work hard, they are sensitive. They need that break of luck. Yes. One moment that open one door that makes stuff happen for them. Yeah, that's with me too, with all of us.

We all need that. We all benefit from opportunities. And it's super important to provide opportunities if they're there. If you see, you know, like if I see someone like yourself, that's a fascinating, interesting guy. Like people need to hear you talk. Joey Diaz, you know, any of these people that I bring myself around. I think this is a very strange time,

and there's not that many people that have that ability. There's not that many people that have that position. It's sort of like a Johnny Carson for the internet. You know what I mean? Like, Johnny Carson would introduce all these comedians to the world. Back in the day, man, if you got on the Johnny Carson show, it was fucking gigantic for your career. Did you ever hear how he was kind of a jerk to most comics?

If he didn't like you, he wouldn't even look at you. He wouldn't invite you to the couch. I heard a lot of that, yeah. But I also have heard that he was amazing to a lot of people, too. It makes me wonder, what were these people like that he was a jerk to?

I don't know. I don't, you know. I just used him as an example because he was always the guy who influenced comedians the most, helped comedians. Rodney Dangerfield was another one. Rodney Dangerfield, what he did was he figured out that one of the best things that he could do with all of his fame was to introduce the world to other comedians. That's how we found out about Dice Clay. That's how we found out about Sam Kinison. Ronnie Dangerfield was like the best at helping other people out and introducing the world to all these other talented people.

And that goes back to what you were saying. You know, somebody may get jealous and shit. It's like, you are gaining popularity. Shit is going to take it away from me. You're a competitor. I need to squash you. And that's, you's so dumb precisely and it's yeah so defeating in the end i have had those feelings especially when i was a younger man for sure i i was jealous of a lot of people that were better than me at things uh it was just because i was dumb and i didn't

understand what what the sensation was in my mind right and what the sensation was in my mind. Right. And what the sensation was in my mind, it was a drive to be better. And instead of being better, I was trying to belittle the people who were better. Right. You know, and it was just so. Because that's a lot easier, right? Yeah, it was easier. It was just, I just, it was an incorrect way of operating my mind. Right.

That's all it was. And the problem with that, though, is that you define yourself by the way you operate your mind. And that's how people get stuck in patterns. So that you define yourself by your past actions. And if they're unfortunate and undesirable and embarrassing, those things hurt you. Right. Big time. And I mean that's the thing.

Rather than having the balls of just owning your mistakes, you know, big deal, because everybody makes mistakes, everybody fucks up, and that's the beauty, because that's when you learn stuff. Rather than dealing with it like, hey, man, whether I learn something from you or you learn something from me, it's a win anyway. You know, it's like you win more in a way when you fuck up

because you're going to learn shit from it, and then you can move on and improve, essentially, as being people get stuck over the embarrassment or oh i messed up i i need to hide it i need to squash it i need not to see it and it's like great then you're gonna do it 10 more times because you're not dealing with it now yeah barring physical limitations like you know horrific injuries or whatever most of what you have in life that you go through that's very difficult is an opportunity to grow. You know, and it's hard for people to wrap their heads around that, but we all can do better.

And I'm not saying that every horrible thing that happens to you is, you know, you should be happy for them. No, but you can turn it into something that motivates you and benefits you. It's just really hard for people to do. It's really hard for people to just put in the fucking work. And it's hard, it's hard to feel good about that. You know,

it's hard to feel good about putting in the work and doing difficult shit. But that's why to me, it's funny because you get either the people who try to rationalize every bad shit that happens and is all it's, it's everything happens for a reason. It's in the name. And I just want to punch them in the face. Cause it's like, come on.

It's like, really? It's like, it's all about positive thinking. Yeah, let me give you some positive. It's like, come on. My friend hits me with that shit. I go, babies die in drive-bys, dude. But they do. Exactly.

What happened? The baby wasn't thinking positive? There's some meaning in it. Now, there's no fucking meaning, you know. So those guys piss me off. But at the same time, the depressive, depressive cynical oh it's all bad and terrible there's no meaning in anything all this shit is like that just as self-defeatist if not more so to me it's like a knowledge that not everything makes sense a knowledge that bad shit happens for

no good reason to good people a knowledge that you'll deal with heartbreak tragedy fuck everybody dies it doesn't get any bigger than that and move on and you know this without necessarily saying that this is uh it's because of some deeper meaning is maybe because of nothing but what can i learn from it now what can i learn from it whether it happened for a good reason or a shitty reason where do i move from here and yeah that's uh one of the hardest things for people to wrap their heads around like like an objective look at their situation. A lot of people are really good at giving advice, but they couldn't give themselves advice. Isn't that like

the worst is when someone's an idiot and they want to give you advice and you're like, come on, man, stop it. Manage your own fucking situation, you dumbass. You know? The management of the human consciousness, to me, is one Yeah, sorry guys. Sorry. The management of the human consciousness, to me, is one of the most important things that a person needs to learn in life and one thing that they don't fucking teach you in school.

That is one of the craziest things about school, is that they don't teach you how to organize your mind and how to defeat negative mind and how to defeat negative thinking and how to encourage positive thinking and build momentum with positive acts, how to reinforce those positive things, write things down that are doing well, celebrate them with each other, pass milestones. There's a reason why belts in martial arts exist for thousands of years. You fucking feel good when you get a belt i remember when i got my blue belt i was on a

fucking television show okay and i didn't even the only thing i thought about being on the television show was like this is kind of cool i'm on tv it's great it's good money i feel very fortunate but it didn't give me the rush that i got when i got a blue belt i was like holy shit i got a blue belt in jujitsu i'm not a white belt anymore you know it's like whoa like i out fucking was beaming that day i went home i was all excited wow i got my first belt like this is awesome like it was like a real positive feeling of of moving forward that's something that you people just people need a discipline man they need a little something to do whether it's writing or whether it's you know a

martial art or fucking just become a marathon runner you need something where you push yourself so you can learn what you can do yeah and literally can be anything because it can be a physical discipline can be an intellectual discipline maybe even both which would be ideal but yeah it's applying yourself to something because you're gonna face the same challenges regardless of which specific field okay maybe somebody's not gonna punch you in the face when you're a painter or something. But the point being, you're still going to be dealing with disappointment, with the learning curve. With ego. There's going to be people who don't like your work and it's going to crush you.

And they might be right. They might be right. Or they might be haters. You find out a lot about life dealing with people through your own discipline and people that are in similar disciplines. It's just that aspect of education is so lacking and so crazy when you really think about

engineering a society, engineering the consciousness of a society, which is what education is really supposed to be about, really, essentially. I mean, you're making sure that the future generations are capable of contributing and that's what you're doing and the funny thing is that

that's usually there are exceptions but that's usually the last possible concern when it comes to academic environments it's crazy what do students actually learn is like student i mean i kid you not i had people shit i remember a guy guy at UCLA once telling me he had a tenure track job there and he was a professor and he was like, you know, this is a great gig. If only I didn't have to teach. What? Because he primarily wanted to research and write in his stupid academic journal and do his thing and do that. Be a loner weirdo. Yeah, and interacting with students bothered him.

And that actually less rare than you would imagine. You know, there's actually a lot of those guys who are really comfortable in a pile of documents in some bureaucratic. They turn educational bureaucracy, which goes back to my fuck you and your motherfucking mama because those are the people who kill the fun of it. But is that at all schools?

Is that at Harvard? Is that the highest levels of education? Where do you find? What school can you say? Should you not say where you teach at? Yeah. Probably shouldn't say. Well, I teach multiple places, so it could be highest levels of education. Where do you find, what school, can you say, should you not say where you teach at? Yeah. Probably shouldn't say. Well,

I teach multiple places, so it could be any one of them. Not saying names. I had issues, but honestly, it's not even that personal. No? Because the reality is.

You can't get in trouble for. No, I mean, it is. Saying fuck you and your motherfucking mama and having it be a big deal. No, what I meant to say is,

it's not personal in the sense that it could be them, it could be somebody, other faceless bureaucrat. It's a mentality. You know what I mean? It's not even like that single individual. If it's not that, it's another one. There's like... So it's a lack of passion that disturbs you, a lack of a pursuit of excellence in teaching. And that you think is more common than not. There's exceptional teachers, but they're fairly rare. Exactly. And I mean, you know, know even exceptions even a lot of exception if you get like 20 of people who are good that's awesome that's actually good in a teaching environment which when you think about it you're really dealing with eight

people who kind of suck which is awful but even that i would sign up for that well you know i think of it in terms of like people that i started out doing open mic nights with how many of them have gone on and actually become professional comedians. Right. I only know, out of all the people that I did it with, three. Right. And two of them I'm still friends with,

Chris McGuire and Greg Fitzsimmons. Those are two guys that I started out with that actually became professional comedians. Right. And that's a tiny number compared to the amount of people that we actually knew from those days that were attempting to do it. So if you can get 20% of your students and those students become proficient in whatever you're teaching, whether you're teaching history or mathematics, whatever, that's pretty fucking good.

Absolutely. And the thing is, thinking about the comedy example, imagine that the people you started with, there's no testing ground. There's no people laugh or not, think it's funny or not. So your career is not shaped by actual feedback, whether you're good or not. Your career is based on how well you step through the stupid academic hoops. Like getting the jobs has nothing to do with actual teaching skill. It's all about other crap that you research, how good research,

how good your CV looks. Have you served in some subcommittee where you spend, you know, that kind of shit. But isn't that to encourage people to innovate and to keep coming up with new ideas and that the research is how we learn things. In the sciences, I dig it.

I see the point of it in the, In a lot of humanities, social science, the reality is that the so-called research is stuff written in this stuffy academic language that the only other people are going to read are eight other experts in the field that you might as well call them, right? They're not writing this crap. And it's designed almost to be not something

that's communicable to regular audiences because that makes you look cool and learned and all of that. And to me, that's the exact opposite of communication mastery. You know, communication mastery is taking really difficult ideas and translating them in ways that anybody can relate to, right? Making them digestible so that from any walk of life, you can see a connection to your life. This is taking it the exact opposite direction.

It's making it weird and this pseudo-intellectual game for nerds with walking to a library 40 years ago and never saw the light of the sun again. Because that's the game, essentially. It's really difficult to take advice from a person who's not living a healthy life. Yeah, exactly. You can learn certain things from them, but it should really be like the idea of the samurai. The samurai had to be a well-rounded person.

You had to understand calligraphy and artwork. Having that one well-rounded unit would serve you in battle because you would be a person of character and clear thought. Absolutely. And that's what education should be. Right. But it's not, huh? Yeah.

Definitely not. What percentage of teachers do you think are really innovating and trying to provide a better learning environment and trying to, like, you must have a bunch of professors that you are cool with. No, and I mean, there are two levels. There's a fairly high number of people who are nice human beings who mean well.

There are a bunch of obnoxious, stuffy bureaucrats, but there is a solid number of people who's made of nice human beings. They're just not brilliant human beings. So they're not bad. They are, they try. It's just their delivery, their ability to light some, turn a light on inside the student's head is very limited. It's not because they are bad.

It's, I don't know, whatever the fuck. They're not, it's almost like performance in that sense. Is there any sort of a universal standard when it comes to, like, say, getting a PhD in applied mathematics or in whether it's English or literature, is there, like, a standard amongst all the universities in the country? Or does each university sort of get together with its scholars and sort of figure it out themselves? This is what we think we should require of them in order for them to be, you know, to get a bachelor's degree. Is everybody... There are... It's both.

There are certain general standards that are expected, and then each school can push its policies in certain directions. So they're both things exist. But they're usually not based on what you're saying, in making you a better human being. That's not the goal of education. It's giving you a bunch of knowledge about stuff you didn't know about, which may be useful, and some people will be able to take a lot out of it and become and turn it into something that actually apply to life or maybe useless crap that's invading your head for

no good reason there's no connection to real life a lot of the time you know what i mean that's the biggest problem is it remains even when it's good it's a theoretical game that's not designed to change how you get up from the seat and walk through class how you are as a human being how you feel is not designed to affect that it's purely about knowledge for knowledge sake which you know it has some good sides but it also has some major limits right there there's so many fucking things to know and learn if you're just just learning grammar language education logic mathematics you start going over the various disciplines and various things that a person can there's not enough time in your young life to really put

together a an accurate piece of the world and then go out and be a part of it right it's that's the weirdest thing about school is that when most of my friends that uh graduated college like right when they got out that was like one of the weirdest times of their life where they were like fuck now what you know now what what i've been buried in books for all these years and trying to figure and now i'm out there like okie dokie like here here goes here goes nothing it's almost like it's it's real hard to get a realistic view of the world before you're an adult right yeah i mean before you get actual experience you know what i mean doing stuff rather than being stuck in this intellectual game and i mean i'm a nerd you know I love to read like crazy.

I love to know things about a million different subjects. So I'm far from advocating anti-intellectualism. Far from it. But at the same time, to me, real intellect goes hand in hand with a certain relationship with your body. It's about both. You know what I mean?

It makes you a more complete human being. It makes you better. Not only if you are an athlete makes you more complete human being. It makes you better. Not only, you know, if you are an athlete and you're smart, probably going to be better at athletics, not only at the other stuff. As long as you don't have too much homework. That's right. It will fuck up your training. If, you know, if you are a nerd and, you know,

we live in this idea that your thoughts are, you know, you are really this gnome that's stuck in your head that's directing the machine of the body so that who you are physically doesn't really affect your consciousness, which is essentially what school tells you, right? Because, I mean, look at how people learn. You go sit into these really uncomfortable chairs facing forward. Your body wants to stretch. You want to move. You want to shake some energy. You can't.

You're supposed to stay there listening to some bastard up there who's going blah blah blah what's the alternative integrating more consciousness affecting consciousness in it so having things that are about giving a lot more importance to the body to physical experiences not only as your two hours of peace somewhere which is it's not about consciousness it's about moving muscle and shit, which is nice, but it's not the same thing. It's also emphasizing how, through a whole variety of physical discipline, you can affect the mind,

you can affect spirit, if you want to get that far. There's a connection between all these different things. Whereas we have this mentality that knowledge is about knowledge sake. There's relatively no connection to your body and a very little connection to actually applying that knowledge in real life,

which to me is missing the point. Cause it's like, if knowledge is not, if it doesn't make, if it doesn't improve the quality of your life, what the hell is the point? You know? Yeah.

And, uh, it, it doesn't, I don't mean just, oh, it needs to make the corn grow or some stuff. It could be even intellectually improve the quality of your life because it makes you happy, because it makes you relate better to another human being. Well, that has an effect on life. Well, I'm talking about knowledge that just about in the year 1763,

it is happening. There's no attempt to link it with why, what's the point, what's the lesson you can learn, what can you get out of it for your life. There's no effort whatsoever in that regard. Is it because it's just too much information to give people and they don't have time for that aspect of it? Part of it, for sure, because there's a bunch of factual things you need to get, and they are less controversial. There's no argument about the factual stuff. Whereas when you're trying to educate somebody, there's also an element of who things you need to get and they are less controversial you know there's no argument about the factual stuff whereas when you're quote-unquote trying to educate somebody there's

also an element of who are you are you a human being who has something to offer to somebody else or are you some guy in a position of power who's trying to force his own more subjective thing on people so what you're telling me is academics and academia in general just needs more mushrooms. That's word by word what I was saying precisely. I'm hearing they need a fresh perspective and a psychedelic outlook. I think I'm going to have a mushroom Thanksgiving this year. It's a good move, dude. If I wasn't with my kids, I would do it.

I'm in San Diego, so I might stay an extra day. Holla. Don't say that, man. They'll find you in San Diego. They've got a mushroom-sniffing dog. It's right near the fucking military say that, man. They'll find you in San Diego. They got a mushroom sniffing dog. It's right near the fucking military base. The last thing they want is mushrooms in the military. That is the last thing you need

when you're in the military is mushrooms. You need amphetamines and steroids. You don't need mushrooms. Right. Okay? You're out there. You want to come home safe? Mushrooms are for later.

Mushrooms are for when you get back. I've talked to a lot of dudes uh who are in afghanistan uh who listen to the podcast over there a lot of the troops listen to the podcast over there and uh it's it's a weird conversation you know i've had a bunch of them with dudes uh after shows i go listen man you you know you don't even know but you guys kept me sane when i when i was over there that's a another strange responsibility yeah for people that are uh you know in such a tough position like to be uh over at war and to be providing them with some other thoughts so listen amphetamines and steroids and keep pulling that trigger and run you didn't create this shit.

You just stuck in it. It's like the running man. Just get through it before the aliens land. What do you think about all these ancient aliens, motherfuckers that want to say that the original sources of humanity was that we were created by aliens? Does that seem ridiculous to you? I mean, sure, it does, but at the same time just because it's ridiculous doesn't mean it can't be true.

Right, totally. We exist. There was a Harvard guy, some astronomer, who was talking about the likelihood of life in the universe is very small. It's very likely that we are alone because they searched for 500 different planets and they found no signs of life.

I thought that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard out of a smart guy's mouth. Because there's 500, he said. He found 500 and he found nothing. No. You search 501, dummy, because Earth is one of them and Earth has life. So you found one which is fucking crazy we are crazy the fact that we exist at all and that we have internet and then we have google on our phone and then we can fly in tubes that fucking shoot you 30 000 feet in the air

that's what i'm saying come on son imagine describing it to somebody who doesn't know anything about it it's like it sound like alien tales well who doesn't know anything about it. It sounds like alien tales. Well, I used to talk about it on stage that you try to wrap your head around the fact that 200 years ago, if you wanted a picture of something, you had to draw it. Yeah. Like, that is not that long ago. Or even, yeah, around that time, it's like, forget playing any music. The only music you ever hear is live music, and there's nothing else.

Because you can't, you, because there's no recording device that you can press play and go. Yeah, now I have gigs of music on my phone. It never fails to trip me out that I can go to my phone. I don't have an iPod anymore. I mean, I have an iPod. I have a leftover one,

but your phone becomes also your iPod go to the gym I play my phone and there's so much variety in there there's thousands of fucking songs on your phone best musicians in the world all packed inside your phone we can't even wrap our stupid heads around it it's like what I was saying about

the rise and fall of these civilizations. Like we're experiencing and we're benefiting from something we don't even understand a little bit. Whereas when you were living in the pioneer days, everything was pretty fucking straightforward. You had to fix that wagon wheel. And this is what you got to do. You got to take some wood and pound the metal and do this and then put the wheel back on. And if you want to shoot a deer, you got to to sneak up on it and this is how you skin it

this is how you cut it into and if it's fucking hot out you better smoke that shit and turn it to beef jerky otherwise it'll go bad like we knew how to manage all of the things that we had in our environment if we didn't we knew a guy in town who did well i'm not a blacksmith but bob is and i'll go to bob and get some horseshoes. Right. You know? Like, I remember that movie, The Unforgiven, the Clint Eastwood movie. Seeing him, like, out on the farm with his fucking kids, like, trying to farm and falling flat on his face, trying to push pigs into a pen.

That was reality for everybody. That was the only way to live. That's all that existed. And you knew how to manage all the different aspects of your life. You understood how a gun worked. You understood how to sharpen an axe. Not anymore, man. Now I'm fucking pressing buttons.

I don't even understand. I have never even thought about trying to understand wireless internet. But I'm on it right now. I've never even thought about attempting for a moment to gain any sort of an understanding of it. I mean, so much of this is so beyond anything you can get quickly

or under because you would have to understand so much of physics, so much of it. It's like, forget it. Okay, it works.

I press play, it works. I'm happy. Yeah, we're civilization spoiled. Yeah. Do you think that that's just a stage though

and that one day our brains will catch up with all this shit? Like, they say the human brain doubled in size over a period of 2 million years at some point in human's evolution.

That's what separated us. That's how we took off from the other apes. Is that going on right now? Probably, because when you look at the speed of technological innovation of not the last 1,000 years, the last 100, when you consider maybe 150, electricity, phones, cars, airplanes, TV, radio, computer, internet. It's like all of it is, it's mind-blowing, really, because it's all in the span of just very few.

I mean, I remember when I was a kid in Italy, and I'm not like this old guy who's like, you know, back in my time. No, I mean, I'm late 30s, and I remember when I was a kid, if I wanted to find out who won the NBA finals I would call the one Italian magazine that cover basketball they had talked to their friend in New York who had given them the news and so maybe two days later when they open for business I get to find out who won the NBA final if I don't make that call I have to wait a month for the magazine to be published so I know who won the game and i'm like and that was what 25 years ago or something 30 years ago are you kidding me i mean now you can be in some hole in the wall somewhere you have internet connection and you can watch it live and it's it's insane you know it it really is and it's changing it's getting crazier and crazier and it's

not going to stop and this this what we have now is so amazing. But it really is the tip of the iceberg. And one of the side effects is going to be a complete and total lack of privacy. That's one of the side effects that people have to understand. Sure. Like, enjoy your privacy while you can. Right. Because eventually it's not going to exist.

Right. eventually it's not going to exist. We are slowly immersing ourselves in the mass of humanity as one super organism. That's really where it's all going. All the boundaries are going to go away through technology. Technology eventually,

biologically, will be a part of our systems. We'll have some chips inside of our body. We'll have some chips inside of our body or we'll have some implants that we install into people's bodies in a quick and easy way. And for people that say, oh, that's a crazy science. That's not going to happen.

Look at Pamela Anderson's tits, okay? Look at what she's accepted. She has accepted bags of water under her nipples that make her tits pop out in an unrealistic way. You don't think that you're going to accept a chip in your brain that's going to let you see the future? Right. That's ridiculous. You're going to take it.

You're going to get that operation. There's going to be dudes who are stupid as fuck, and there's going to be dudes with brain jobs. And those dudes with brain jobs, they'll be running shit. They'll be fucking flying around in private jets and Ferraris. You're like, I don't need that. I'm a fucking simple man. I live in the country and these cars don't run.

And you're out there chopping wood with an axe, you fucking dummy. And this guy can read your mind. Okay? This guy's got a fucking little piece of silicone on the base of his skull

and he can see through walls. Right. You're not going to take that? You're dumb. You're a dumb-dumb. You're going to be back there with the monkeys who couldn't figure out how to make fire.

All those stupid fucks that are still in Africa swinging from trees. That used to be us, apparently. Millions of years ago, supposedly. Have you seen that new shit where they found that people were that human beings 500,000 years ago were using

tools and using flint-tipped spears and arrows? 500,000 years?, we're using tools and using flint-tipped spears and arrows. 500,000 years, Jesus. Yeah, the most recent discovery, which predates what we thought human beings used as tools by 200,000 years. That's insane. I mean, I don't even know what human beings 500,000 years ago would have looked like, as you're talking about. Yeah, no shit, right? Way, way, yeah.

Man, that's... I wonder what have looked like, as you're talking about. Yeah, no shit, right? Way, way, way. Man, that's... I wonder what they looked like, man. I bet, yeah. I mean, how ape-like were we half a million years ago? I mean, when did it... Well, they know that Neanderthals, notice how I said talls like a true intellectual, with my three years of college.

They know that they made, they not only made weapons, but they also were navigators. One of the most recent discoveries is that they think they sailed out to islands on their own, you know, without Homo sapiens. The Neanderthals had figured out how to make boats. They didn't really

think that just a few decades ago. They were around until, relatively speaking, not that long ago. They went extinct like maybe 30,000 years ago or something decades ago they were around until relatively speaking not that long ago because they went extinct like maybe 30 000 years ago or something and they were around since maybe 200 000 years ago that's a lot of time shared by homo sapiens sapiens and the neanderthal at the same time it's yeah that's nuts man that's uh the and they were weird looking dude yeah they were a weird looking dude. They were like five feet tall, 200 pounds, solid rock. Stalky as hell. Stalky as fuck.

They all looked like Husamar Paul Harris. But not with that head. He has a human head. They had weird heads. They had crazy foreheads. Heavy thick bones. I saw a documentary where they were trying to put like clay and reconstruct a Neanderthal's face

and they compared it to a human being. They had a Homo sapien right next to a Neanderthal. There's so many prominent features that were different. The brow and the like. They were a totally different fucking thing. But they were real close. Real close to us. They had, they

crossed the Mediterranean in boats a hundred thousand years ago isn't that amazing they were some people still think they were swimmers by the way but there's other people that are they found they have found distinctive uh like uh evidence that they they had made it to these islands yeah there's no way to swim in that's insane maybe they could imagine well i mean they're like crocodiles you're right humans can't swim but the no that's freaky and Neanderthals were actually the first ones to bury their bodies so they are the first species that have burial for their dead before Homo sapiens yeah well because I mean a lot of Homo sapiens is a lot of the evidence

that we have, typically what we could, like the stuff passed 100,000 years ago, we really don't know a whole lot about. You know what I mean? There's like, you find a fragment of a tooth from 300,000 years

and then you find a little finger from, it's like, so putting together, there's a lot of guesswork involved about this stuff. And that's part of what's fun about it is that every other day, there's new articles coming in with new theories that make it, that change that. It's like the stuff that we thought we knew until yesterday, scratch that, that was bullshit.

We actually now know that what you just said, like 500 years ago, 500,000 years ago, they used stone tools whereas before we thought a lot less. That stuff is constantly changing. on tools whereas before we thought a lot less. That stuff is constantly changing. But one of the theories up until, as far as I know, still current was that Neanderthals were the first to bury their dead, which is a trip itself that some non-human species or rather related to us but not us could do the exact same thing. Wouldn't it be crazy if humans learned how to seafare from Neanderthals?

If Homo sapiens did? I say humans because they actually were humans. I'm saying it wrong. But they did it before us, supposedly. Right. But then there's other people that think that we absorb them. And there's two different schools of thought on that.

One of them is that we interbred with them. And one of them is that, no, we just shared DNA from the get-go and it's just we're better at understanding that now. Yeah, they say that basically Neanderthals are an evolutionary dead end. There's no crossover with human beings. It's only ancestral stuff or exactly

or instead the happy Neanderthal sex scenario where Homo sapiens sapiens and Neanderthal have sex. Listen, dudes fuck dudes. They would definitely fuck a Neanderthal chick. No doubt. If they could get some, if they're in the middle of nowhere, if you're like hunting elk with a stick and you find some hot neonatal chick and she's ready to go you're like all right

come on let's do this it's on yeah man i've traveled before cross country where you're on the road for days on end and after a while from state after state you see the average woman being 300 pounds when suddenly you see a 200 pound woman you're like oh my god that's so hot you know so it's just it's all relative you make an adjustment you have yourself a harem of neanderthal chicks yeah they make you big thick babies too big thick strong ones 100 000 years ago these guys were uh taking boats as far as uh 12 kilometers that's pretty incredible, man. That's really incredible. Well, actually, some of them even 40 kilometers. Some of them

made even more ambitious journeys. That's amazing, man. How the fuck did Homo sapiens just occur? I mean, it's not like it just occurred, but if you really stop and look at us, the fleshy, weak-ass bitches, but very, very clever, and compare us to all the other apes.

What a weird sort of a journey to go from whatever the fuck it is. I mean, I don't understand the creation of species. I understand the evolution, what species has been established for the most part, what's currently understood about that. I've sort of tried to wrap my head around that. But I don't understand the emergence. I don't understand. How does a frog just become a frog? How does a bird...

Where does an eagle come from? Was there some steps along the way? I'm sure there were. The problem with the fossil record, though, it's that there's not enough evidence left behind to really piece an accurate... Most shit doesn't become a fossil. People that have never really thought about it don't understand how difficult it is to make a fossil.

You have to have some sort of a cataclysmic situation where a volcano or a mudslide or something traps the people. Like amber, sap can trap million-year-old bugs, and we learn a lot from that. But most people, nature just absorbs us. Most animals, nature absorbs them. You leave a bear, a dead bear in the woods,

you come back in a month later, there's nothing left. No, I mean, that's why, in fact, history books are always the thickest. You go through the first 200,000 years of history, they're like two pages. And then you go in the last 10 years, there are like three books thick of it.

It's not because it's any more interesting. It's because we know more. That's what it boils down to. I listened to this lecture once. I think it was another McKenna one where he was talking about if you had a computer of sufficient power and you understood wind variables and you understood you could program all the measurements from a sand dune, and from that sand dune you could get a map of the wind, and you could literally get an accurate representation

of how fast the wind was blowing and for how long, and how did it create this from this mass of sand. And I always wondered, like, I wonder if, just what we can do now is so bizarre as far as exchange data and as far as figure things out and communication. I wonder if it's possible to take the results of life on this planet in what we know of over the last 20, 30, whatever it is, 100 years of accurate history and put what we know to be 100% true in some sort of a gigantic mathematical program and extrapolate the past from that or make a calculation from what we know and literally be able to get an accurate representation of everything from single-celled organisms to dinosaurs all the way to a human being and recreate that in a way that people could actually watch that could be the kind of thing that 300 years from now standard we look now like really those

bastards didn't know about that of course you could do that stupid yeah well they'll probably laugh at people with like uh sex change too right like you gotta go and get your dick cut off dude why don't you just go into the sex change center press the button i want to be a black woman hold on they'll nuke you like a fucking like a like Like fixing a hot pocket. One day. If we can make people look like women, we're going to be able to make you a woman. One day. Unquestionably, there's going to be some unbelievable manipulation of reality coming up in the future.

Before that, I'm imagining, can you picture when they finally figured out very realistic robots that look like humans and everybody can buy like the hottest possible sex partners on the planet for like 500 bucks at Target? Yeah. And people will never leave the house. You know what I mean?

It's like societies, we know it will come to an end once the sex toys will be perfected because no one will leave the damn house if you have in your closet ten of the hottest women or men or whatever. How about balls? It's a fucking party, Daniel. It's a fucking party. It's not even gay if they're not real. It's a robot.

You fuck robot dudes? That's not gay. Look, you're willing to fuck a flashlight, but look you're willing to fuck a flashlight but you're not willing to fuck a robot dude what if someone made you a robot dude with the perfect vagina everything else you know you had to accept the fact that it looked like a dude but god that vagina is perfect no you wouldn't do it but you you would fuck a fleshlight as long as you can contain it into a non-human tube. Exactly. That doesn't look like a guy.

You're so strange. We had a dude on the other day who is a robotics expert, Daniel H. Wilson. Fascinating guy. Great conversation. He freaked me the fuck out, man. We were talking about when is the first guy going to cut his legs off and put robot legs on. I was like, ah! It really made me cringe when he said it because I was like, he's right and that guy going to cut his legs off and put robot legs on? I was like, ah! It really made me cringe when he said it,

because I was like, he's right, and that's going to happen. There's going to come a point in time. We were talking about amputees who now run in the Olympics with special prosthetics, and that one day they're going to have legs that are better than a human. You're going to laugh at human legs. They're going to have some fucking awesome, like they came up with some artificial skin cell that was mixed with steel.

I've got to understand how the fuck they did that. Let me Google this real quick. But it's the beginning. It's an artificial human cell with somehow or another fucking steel fibers woven into it. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck they did. I don't totally understand it.

But they're able to create artificial cells now. It's not all like it's not all with like flesh. They can do it with varying materials. They think they're going to be able to create skin based on spider silk or spider webs

that's bulletproof. No way. Yeah, that in the future, they will be able to replace human skin with a bulletproof substitute. No, come on. You're making me shit up. No.

Serious? No, I'm not. Yeah, absolutely serious. They're trying to... I mean, they've already figured out a way to make certain animals produce spider silk. Just like jet packs. One day we'll have it.

I don't think, I think the problem with jet packs is they would have to be all magnetized so that you couldn't crash into each other. You'd get really close, like two magnets, and whoa, you'd fly off. Same with flying cars. Yeah, that's one of the reasons why helicopters never took off. When they first made the helicopter, they thought that it was going to replace the car. That was the idea.

But then they realized that people are too fucking stupid for that right now. There was a big helicopter crash in Manhattan. Some billionaire guy died, and it turns out he had his five-year-old daughter in his lap, and she was kicking the controls. Oh, you've got to be kidding me be kidding no she kicked the controls the helicopter went into a fucking tailspin and they died wow whoa yeah whoops that's why helicopters can't replace cars no i mean shit it's a miracle already when you're driving on the freeway and you look at all

the people driving oh yeah really we're not crashing into each other every second that already amazes me oh especially when you go and you see what fucking people put on their Twitter page. And then you go, how is this ape staying in a lane? You fucking dum-dum. Is that the product of the education system, or is it there's a broad spectrum of the human mind and there's some people that are born ditch-diggers? Option B.

Option B. God damn it. This is coming from an educator, ladies and gentlemen, a very thinks there's ditch diggers fuck i was hoping for for the best is there a way like we can give them that what is that stuff uh uh from the limitless movie what was that nzt that you give people and they fucking become super smart he was like a lazy bitch and then he wrote a book in like a day and became a billionaire. Kind of like the Matrix approach to learning where you plug in the thing and you're like, I know Kung Fu.

Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, the brain chip that we were talking about earlier. The guy gets a brain job. Maybe that's going to save all the ditch diggers. Then we'll just make robots to ditch dicks. Well, ditch dicks. Dicks with our frothy lobes.

I'm thinking about dicks. This is a very dick-oriented show. Great. I'm so happy to be here. Well, you've contributed. Dig dicks with our brothy loads. I'm thinking about dicks. This is a very dick-oriented show. Great. I'm so happy to be here. Well, you've contributed to it, sir. You're here. You're responsible. It's a fucking group environment.

Sorry, go ahead. What are you going to say? I was going to say something stupid. You stopped from saying something stupid? You were. See, folks folks there is evolution everywhere even here on the podcast

Brian Redband is catching himself uncalled for no it's not uncalled for that's a good thing man no I said it was uncalled for well welcome to everybody's life everybody involved in this podcast has benefited from saying things that are uncalled for

I think the world can use things that are uncalled for. I think the world can use a little more uncalled for shit. God damn it. Everybody wants everything to be beautiful and perfect and called for.

Sometimes, no. There's hiccups. We're figuring this thing out as we move along, folks. No one's got it down to a science. None of those Buddhist monks

even get laid. That's how you know the Buddhists are wrong. They're wrong too. Everybody's wrong. You know why they're wrong? No pussy. That's simple. Simple.

Have you ever had sex? Yes. Isn't it awesome? Yes, it is. They're not having something awesome. If you live your life and you don't experience something that's one of the best things you can experience,

you're missing out on one of the best parts about this life. The idea is, well, it consumes you and you want to be free from that. Listen, stop being a silly bitch. Stop being a silly bitch. It doesn't have to consume you. That's like someone who's an alcoholic saying that no one should enjoy wine.

Right. Well, that's not true because some people can have wine and then they get laughing and have a great conversation and have sex with someone they probably wouldn't have sex with. Next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.

There's nothing wrong with wine, folks. And that to me is like the litmus test of a healthy religion is their attitudes about sex. Mormons. Everything else is like, but even that, there's some really weird. I would join the Mormons before I would join any other religion, especially old school ones that had eight wives. I think they knew how to rock it.

I would go down to Mexico and join up with the Mitt Romney's clan, take up guns against the cartels. At least they had a bunch of wives. I mean, it seems like no one can figure out the whole monogamy thing. You look at the divorce rate in America, I think now it's 51%. Right. And for primatesates it's zero it's zero monogamous primates zero i mean we're the only ones who pull it together we keep it together we'll keep it together flick you know you keep together for 100 years then you

die but if people live to like be infinity how much you know what's once ray kurzweil's ideas come to light and we have uh endless existences where will we well you know what and back then we'll have but by the time we get to that point i bet we'll have uh some sort of an artificial reality anyway that people will be enjoying more than regular reality anyway yeah there'll be some world of warcraft shit that you can plug your brain into yeah the. The Matrix is real. Do you ever follow simulation theory? Follow any of these wacky motherfuckers? Uh-uh. Scary shit, man. Yeah.

Because it's based on mathematics. Right. I'll Google it because I don't really understand it. But they're finding these mathematical equations inside string theory. And they're self-correcting. And it's freaking people out. Because they're very, let me pull this up here, self-correcting. Yeah. They're finding

this type of self-correcting computer code that they've known about since, I believe it was like the 1940s. And they're starting to find this in the equations of string theory. It's really fucking confusing. Because you don't understand... Do you understand mathematics? Do you understand what they're talking about when they say the equations of string theory? Fuck no.

No idea. I mean, math to me is one of the mysteries of the universe. I'll know how to add in my head to subtract, to do stuff that I actually use. Anything else, I'm as lost as I can. I think you either have it or you don't. I think that's a part of your brain that's either active or not. Do you think it's a

nurture thing from childhood? Some people get stimulated as a child and they start pursuing that road and then it becomes a part of their natural existence, and then it becomes normal to them? I think it's how your brain thinks. If you're a certain thought pattern, you don't get it as easy as somebody that's more number-driven, like architects.

If you look at an architect, most of them understand all this complex, crazy shit, but then you try to talk to them, and it's just the most one-sided, they only understand architecture kind of thing. I don't know. Yeah, maybe. be in like one big crazy giant organism you would think that everybody would have a part in it in order for it to to keep progressing and that it wouldn't really work the right way if everybody was the same right if everybody was the same there really wouldn't be that much innovation nothing would get done so it almost makes sense that you're going to have you know mathematical prodigies that can't run fast you know and then you're going to have dudes who are really awesome at space and distance and eye-hand coordination, but they just suck at putting

numbers together or they suck at driving or, you know, whatever. That's not a good example. But, you know, it seems like if you accept the fact that human beings, the only way we work is we work together. That's the only way. I mean, if you're a loner, if you're one of those Ted kaczynski guys living in the woods drinking your own piss nobody trusts you okay you know why would i trust some guy who's up there uh on the mountaintop and never comes down and talks to people we we if we accept that we all without question need each other then you

kind of think that it's got a sort of how it must have some sort of formula to it. Which is why I always felt like if things got bad, if things got overpopulated or things got crazy, there's always going to be disease. There's going to be some spring back. There's always going to be something that tries to stop it. I mean, of course, limitless growth doesn't exist in nature. You know what I mean?

It's just you can only go on for so long before eventually you hit your limits and you come crashing down. It's just not going to, you know, there's no animal species ever that can outstrip its resources. It just doesn't work, right? Because you run out of shit. And we are smart, so we can come up, like, pushing the limits because we have a new technological innovation that allows us to get more out of less space and all of that so we've played a game well but i mean you can only play it so long before eventually you don't come up with something brilliant in the next 100 years and then you're fucked yeah and when you look at how many people there are and how many people that used to be yeah that's crazy it's unreal we've grown so quick it's not that long

like we had dr peter duisburg on who uh is the hiv guy who says that hiv doesn't cause right he was talking about the population in africa tripling yeah the population's tripled over the past like 20 or 30 years whatever the fuck it's been they started measuring it not even that long ago if you think like um something like the entire population of the united states in the year 1800 so 200 barely over 200 years was about 5 million people it's not even all of la today you know what i mean it's like less than the entire population that was the whole population of us less than la today hey Brian, that's loud as fuck. What are you doing, man? What's going on out there?

A group of like 30 Asian women. Oh, you son of a bitch. Have a seat. It's a 10 minute podcast. But they're all just hanging out right next to the studio for some reason. Is that what you were going to check on the noise? Yes.

What the hell are these people? But there's like seriously like 30 Asian women. I'm going to check on the noise? Yes. What the hell are these people? But there's like seriously like 30 Asian women. I'm going to check on the noise. We got an issue. Check the noise from behind. Check on the noise. The loudest fuck. Someone go stick a dick in their mouth.

All right. Quickly. Stop all that giggling. Brian, it's your duty for all these podcast people. What were we even talking about before we got interrupted besides computer theories and self-correcting? Oh, population. Population growth. There was 5 million, is that what you said?

Yeah. 200 years ago? 5 million in the year 1800. Fucking A. That's insane. That's a lot, though. If you really stop and think about it, that's incredible. They come over on boats and horses.

There's 5 million of them. That's after 200 years of colonization, which you start at the very beginning. You're really talking about so few people. I don't know, man. Overpopulation is one of the things that nobody wants to talk about because it's uncomfortable. Because what are you going to do? Tell people they can't have how many kids they want?

That's not a very nice thing to do. And at the same time, you kind of have to at some point because you can't possibly keep growing forever and eugenics is a really horrible subject you can't you can never bring that up you never bring the idea up that you need to cull the population right even though that's like a natural part of nature is that the strong survive i mean the whole chinese model of if you have more than one kid well bashing on the head is effective, but it's not exactly the most democratic thing in the universe, you know?

Well, it's also not good for your ideas of humanity. Right. If you look at, when we talk about like human rights violations and poor living conditions, China is like right up there on that list. It's awful. You know, as you look down at your Chinese-made iPhone,

what a motherfucker that is. Right. What a motherfucker that is. What a motherfucker it is that the minerals that came from that came from even worse conditions. Some poor African kid digging a hole in the ground and that you need that shit in order to make a cell phone. While you're Googling in Manhattan, sitting on the corner, looking out the window, the chain of what's happening, to get that phone into your hand,

it's dirty business at the very end of the chain. Definitely. It's fucked up, man. And we don't do anything about that. Well, we need to get those Chinese people more money. I don't care if you gave them $1,000 a month, you know, which is insane and unheard of. That's still still not gonna allow them to get the fuck out of there and improve like that they're they're stuck so that's why it cracks me up when i see women with

the big giant diamond ring of engagement and shit and i'm like okay that's about what 27 nigerian kids or 28 how many is yeah and not that, that shit's in warehouses. They've got the diamond people, they've got that shit locked down. They're so brilliant, those diamond people. They've managed to get people to pay for stupid little shiny rocks and pay incredible money.

I remember that commercial that they used to have. Isn't three months salary a small price to pay for a lifetime like three months for a rock i want you to work for three months for one rock oh three months should be like a house yeah okay in the old homesteading days if you work for three months you built a house yep three months for a fucking shiny rock holy shit which by the way you can make it just a shiny look in the exact same way and you have to look through a glass to make sure it's not the original but no it's not real it's one of my favorite things about the rap culture is like big giant diamond encrusted necklaces and diamond chains and diamonds on the rings

diamond on their teeth and diamonds in their ears. Like I love the, the bounce back from poverty to extreme wealth and how, you know, how, how flashy they are. It's one to me, one of the most fascinating aspects of humanity is like the really over showy

rap guys, like throwing money on each other and stand in front of Ferraris, you know, flexing their diamond rings. Fucking love it, man. I love it. Check it, bitch! You know?

It's just, it's so fascinating. And then there's, you know, people that are like of old wealth, like Prince Charles. Right. You know, who would think that would be garish behavior. Right. And beyond embarrassing. You know, i would love to see a reality show where little wayne had to live with prince charles

and little wayne gets prince charles high as fuck and they go play polo playing polo with flavor and if prince and if prince charles talks any shit little wayne goes you know they can't save you you know they can't save you right who are you talking to no one did you ever see that interview where he's talking to the guy they go they're doing an interrogation of him they're they're for some fucking subpoena or something i don't know what they're they're questioning him and the question the guy's asking him a bunch of stupid questions so like he gets gangster with the guy and he goes you know he can't save he goes, you know he can't save you. In the real world, he can't save you.

I'm just letting you know. And the guy's like, are you threatening me? He goes, no, not at all. Just letting you know. He can't save you. It's like, it's really creepy. The guy's got tattoos on his face and fucking, giant ring, son! From the street!

Do you have people in your school that come from varying economic backgrounds oh yeah you see the difference between people that come from like really poor countries and made it to America

and really appreciate the fucking shit out of it more than these sloppy people from Orange County that are living in Irvine their whole life never even seen a bullet

yeah man I mean there's both that's what makes it fun you get people of especially community college it's awesome because you get people of all ages, you get people literally of every religion, skin color, you name it, you know. So you find all sort of from the guy who's coming straight from South Central who tells you, I'm sorry I got in here late, but there was, they lock up my block because they shot some dude under my house and they're like, fuck, okay, that's what you come to school with. under my house and they're like fuck okay that's what you come to school with and the one was like straight out of beverly hills so it's like it's hilarious it's like really you guys sit in the same class you see those compton dudes hook up with those beverly hills chicks and usually not

no no no no see some of them want to take a trip to the dark side especially when they're like in school and they're experimenting right experiencing someone from a different culture i mean i'm just so amazed by these urban environments that you grew up in yeah that actually some of that is there a theme to today i think there might be i need to jerk off before i do this podcast the um the most satisfying aspect of uh teaching for you is what it's the interaction with the people. Interacting with students is fun. That's one of those moments where really somebody pay me to talk about stuff I like with people who are cool? Are you kidding me?

I mean, which lottery did I win? This is too cool to be true. So you're doing that as well with your podcast. For those who don't know, it's called Drunken Taoist. And Taoist is spelled with a T, you fucking imbeciles. Undereducated Americans.

And you could go to iTunes, and it's in the philosophy section, right? Is that where it's at? Yeah, that cracked me up. In philosophy, after two episodes, we were like, for a few days, we were number one in philosophy, which granted, the fact is,

probably the other three people in that category are people who are broadcasting out of their mom's basement, discussing the subtle differences between Hegel and Aristotle. But still, it's still first in something. That was fun. That's amazing. And that's after how many weeks? It was like the second episode. So, you know, then you get the bounce.

After a few days, it goes down. And all of that. But for a few days, we were like number one. I'm like, shit, this is awesome. How does the iTunes, how do they measure? They does that mean two different things they have it by episode so whichever episode i think in that week had the most hits so of course all the more recent ones tend to be the more popular one because more people have listed in a week and then they have a general i think podcast history or something where they measure the average after so many

but i don't know exactly how they keep their statistics. It's subscribers, new subscribers, new comments, new downloads. You know what else it is? Crashed. iTunes is fucking crashed right now, god damn it. Apple, I think. Application not responding, Brian. Have you not

upgraded to your Snow Leopard yet? Listen, son of a bitch. I like to keep shit old school. I'm tired of them with the updates. It's working fine, stupid. Stop changing things and allowing the government to look at my emails. See my dick pictures that I send myself. More dick. I'm bored.

Look, folks. I'm not going to lie to you. We might have got a little high before the show. I'm not going to lie to you. Some of this might be silly. That never happens. Never. Why would you say that?

Not with Daniele Bolelli. Never. That is one advantage, though, that you must have with the ladies is that accent, man. Chicks love a good European, French, English, something along those lines. But Italian, oof, that's pretty good, right? Very unfair advantage, I must have think. Yes. Wow, look at that.

He's being honest with us. You went to a good grade. I'm going to look under philosophy, see where you're at right now. Do you know? No, I didn't check in a few days. I don't even see philosophy. I see religion, spirituality, science, and medicine. It's under society and culture.

Society and culture. I think within that they have philosophy. That seems like life. Yeah. How can you have society? I mean, we could have an MMA podcast, and it could be under society and culture. That was actually the funny thing in the first, you know. Yeah, precisely.

I'm under society and culture. Yeah. The Joe Rogan experience. Society, culture, suck it. That's why this kind of, the tags that are ridiculous, because they are like, it's about, most of it, unless you are really dedicating a podcast specifically to one issue it's about life that's what it boils down to and that as it should be right yeah as it should be the um the name of the podcast again is drunken taoist and i can't find it in here what i can't find philosophy is there a specific section if you put it uh you want to

see here it is philosophy you got it there it goes. It's a subsection of a subsection. Yay! I was for a few days the first in a subsection of a subsection, but I'm not anymore. That's pretty dope. What number are you right now? I have no idea. It was like six a few days ago,

but I'm sure it bounced out because we haven't had a new one in a few days. We're going to change that shit for you. I can't find it. I don't know where it is, but that's I'm sure it bounced out because we haven't had a new one in a few days son we're gonna change that shit for you we're gonna find it I can't find it I don't know where it is but it's drunken daoist t-a-o-i-s-t

you heard me that's how you spell it you freaks I'll put a link up to it on Twitter and awesome man thanks so much

my brother thank you very much man another fun and fascinating podcast always fun the drunken daoist Daniele Bolelli you're a good man Daniele always good to talk to you brother thank you very much, man. Another fun and fascinating podcast. Always fun. The drunken Taoist, Daniele Bolelli. You're a good man, Daniele. Always good to talk to you, brother. Thank you, Joe.

If there's ever anything we could do for you, anything you want to promote, please let us know. Thank you to everybody tuning into the podcast. Thanks to all the positive energy and all the love and all the information that you guys give me and the feedback and all that shit. We're getting through this all together. And I would not be able to do it without you, and I would not have the same feeling without all the love and all the positive reactions

and all the positive response that we get. We appreciate the fuck out of it, and I know Brian does, and I know everybody else does, Joey and Ari and Duncan. We talk about it all the time. We love the fuck out of you guys. Thank you very much. Thanks to all the sponsors. You know who the fuck you are.

I'm not saying it at the end anymore. God damn it. But go to DeathSquad.TV. That's Brian's site, and that's how you get yourself one of those sweet, psychedelic kitty cat T-shirts that I see at all the shows now. And I saw them in Montreal. It was fucking awesome. It's beautiful. When I look out there in that audience and I see those Death Squad shirts,

I know I'm in good company. I'm with family. It's like the Olive Garden. This motherfucker. That was his long game. That was his checkmate from a long distance. I'm going to be in San Diego Wednesday with Doug Benson now. Powerful.

American Comedy Club. Beautiful. And I will be here with Joey Diaz Wednesday night, the night before Thanksgiving at the Ice House Comedy Club. We've got a 10 o'clock show. Greg Fitzsimmons is going to be there. Adam Hunter, who wrote that joke

that I got in trouble telling on FX. Did really get in trouble. It caused a commotion. I said a joke that Adam Hunter had a really funny joke about Martin Kampman. He said, Martin from behind. Look, it's a funny fucking joke. I shouldn't have said it because there's children listening.

I didn't even think about it. I'm an idiot. I'm a comedian, okay? But what bothers me that people called it homophobic, and that is not a homophobic joke, okay? Why would I even? Because anything that's gay, if you mention something something gay it's automatically deemed to be negative like a joke about you're not even supposed to joke about things that are gay or gay sex or anything anyone that's gay because if you do somehow it's a negative i think i say fuck you i say that's stupid that is absolutely ridiculous

everything is on the table as long as you have good intentions. My intention was only to make people laugh. And it was because Adam Hunter is a funny dude. And he'll be on the show Wednesday as well as like I said, Greg Fitzsimmons, Joey Diaz, Sam Tripoli is going to be there. And we'll find some other cool guys

that are in town that are local stand-ups. But 10 o'clock, 15 bucks at the Ice House. Go to icehousecomedy.com and come down and see us. And Brian Redband has been added to the fabulous Austin, Texas show at the Moody Theater December 1st.

A lot of you fucks, you're like, God, I want to see him in person. So excited. Thought you'd hear about his loads. Frothy loads. Yeah, we're going to have a good time. That's December 1st at the Moody Theater in Austin, Texas. And I will be there with Joey Diaz and Duncan Trussell is coming as well. So it should be a hell of a fucking show.

It's a meet. Yeah, we're going to have a good fucking time, Texas. And that's where we're setting up. Camp Rogan. That's where Death Squad survival camp is going to be. We're going to have a fucking fenced-in area and keep live animals in there. Folks, I'm rambling.

It's official again. That's when it's time to shut the music off. I will see you guys tomorrow with Les Stroud. Survivor Man is going to be here tomorrow. Fuck yes. I'm very exciting. I'm very exciting. I'm very Brazilian.

I'm very exciting for you. Butchering my own fucking language. It's not my language, goddamn it. I'm not claiming it. Les Stroud from Survivorman and he's going to bring his band. Well, at least some people to play with him because he's got some music that's being released.

He's just an all-around cool motherfucker. I can't wait to talk to him. And then Wednesday, one of the funniest guys in the country, Greg Proops, is going to be joining us and that will be our final podcast for the week before the lovely holiday of Thanksgiving where we all celebrate syphilis-covered blankets. And fucking, I shouldn't have said that. Good night, everybody.

It's over. Kiss your mother. Hug your neighbors. Pet your dog. Spread that love, you sons of bitches. See you soon. Thank you.