The Joe Rogan Experience - #290 - John McAfee

Episode Date: November 27, 2012

Joe sits down with John McAfee.

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. So, ladies and gentlemen, as of right now, as of this moment, it's just me and my little buddy Brian. Hello. What's up, fella? We don't do enough of these anymore. I know. I had a really rough night last night. What happened? rough night last night what happened i uh took that zma and then i went out to eat and i started

falling asleep while i was on the beginning stages of zma and that stuff hits you hard like i couldn't really drive on the way home it was like being drunk driving what yeah so don't drink or don't zma before you drive and then go to denny's i can't i can't wait a minute but zinc is just it means zma rather is just zinc zinc, magnesium, and what else? Is there anything else in there? A couple of sleeping pills. It doesn't do that to me. It doesn't do that to me at all.

I was saying double. I had to do the pirate drive where you have to hold one eye while you drive. You know, it's weird how weird people's bodies react to different things. Like people that are allergic to peanuts. I know's true but i don't believe it like i know it's true but i want to like eat that peanut bitch you know you can eat that peanut give me those i'll eat them this is nothing wrong with peanuts what do you how can that be possible i waited at a restaurant where a lady ate something i don't know if it was peanuts or some kind of fish or where her throat started getting closed up and the ambulance had to take her away well that happened to a guy on fear factor

we didn't know that uh he was allergic to eating roaches. By the way, there was a roach eating contest in Florida, and the guy fucking choked to death and died. Yeah, same reason. Was it the same reason? Isn't it? Because if you're allergic to shellfish, right? Well, that's what it was on Fear Factor,

but I don't know about this roach eating guy who died. Eating guy dies. Roaches. Have you ever lived in a house that had roaches? Oh, in the east coast it's a real problem yeah it's not that much of a problem in la not as much of a problem they have them out here like i saw a big one out here in pasadena yeah at the ice house fucking giant one who's probably alive back when dean martin was still with jerry lewis this fucking roach was huge yeah man. Yeah, those are like Disney roaches. They seem drawn. We have a rat problem at my house.

Just tons of mice and rats. They don't go in the house, but they just all live in trees. My tree has two rats that are just living up there like fucking kids in a tree house. This guy choked to death on his own vomit. Oh. Whoops. It says,

Edward Archibald choked to death on his own vomit after downing piles of bugs at a pet store contest. A pet store had a fucking roach eating contest? And this guy has a giant mouthful of roaches, and he choked to death on his own vomit. Wow. That's a weird way to die, man. Especially roach vomit.

It all has legs, and half of it's moving. I can't help but feel a little bit responsible for this. Oh, yeah. You're somewhat involved with that. Yeah. I think I contributed to this part of the retarded culture. I know. But through Fear Factor, I think I definitely contributed to this, at least part of this.

It's craziness. Jesus Christ. That's a disturbing. Jesus Christ. That's a disturbing thing to read. Man choked to death on his own vomit during a cockroach eating contest at a pet store. Fuck, man.

It really is like Running Man. Like when you watch the movie Running Man and they show you people going for money and dogs chasing them and biting them. That would never happen. This is just an exagger exaggeration but the more you see shit like that you're like not not really an exaggeration anymore in fact it's just as fucked up or more fucked up than fiction like the the cum drinking part in fear factor when we had people drink cum that's more fucked up than anything you've ever seen in a movie about life being fucked up.

And it was real. You know, when you have like a movie, when they have those scenes of like crazy, crazy shows. Like Saw. Yeah, like parody things. Yeah, it's fucking disgusting. Your rodent problem, they have a unique way of trying to solve that in Chicago. In Chicago, they have coyotes. Yeah.

They know where the coyotes are. They know their nests. They're in Chicago. There's 60 of them. And these coyotes are tracked. They have collars on them with RFID devices or whatever the fuck it is they use to track them. And they follow them around to make sure that these coyotes

are killing all the rats. Why don't they just... That seems dangerous that just release coyotes i mean they're not dangerous animals really but yeah they kill animals why don't they just release tons of cats all the cats that are in the in the like the pens or whatever i think it shelters first of all because i think people associate cats with pets you know they associate it with oh poor little kitty come to my house and you keep them in your house and then the fucking cat doesn't get to eat any rats all right and the other thing is that they spread diseases like that toxoplasma thing the one they know about with rats that would be really irresponsible if you wanted to have a bunch of cats and a bunch

of rats interacting with people what if they put give them little outfits that shows that they work for the city like the orange like outfits and stuff and like it's What if they give them little outfits that shows that they work for the city? Like the orange outfits and stuff? And it's illegal if you take them into your house? People would take them in anyway. Joey Diaz would go, this cocksucker, he didn't sign up to be working for the fucking DEA over here. This little guy, this little buddy,

he's my little pal. He'd rather have fucking chicken vittles. So he gives them tender vittles. Yeah, but they would put trackers just like the coyotes would put little Fitbits in the cat's asses. Yeah, I don't know if that works like that. I don't think if you do that to cats, people would get mad at you. If you had a bunch of cats running around with RFID collars on and you were leaving them in the wild and forcing them to fend for themselves. Yeah, but you tell them like, hey, or they're going to get euthanized tonight.

Yeah, but people would want to feed them. They would want to be interacting with them. And when people interact with cats, if it's a feral cat, that's when you have the risk of that toxoplasma infection. Yeah. So I think it would be irresponsible.

Yeah, but that's why you just have to make it, have a little costume and make it illegal. Like, look, you get three years jail. We have trackers in these. These are working cats. Maybe put little knives in their hands or something like that so you can't touch them.

I don't think that... Put knives in touch them. I don't think that... I don't think that... I think coyotes are better at killing anyway. I think they're better at it. Coyotes are creepy fucks. It just seems like we would have more cats to get rid of. Well, they're going to eat the cats too. Coyotes are going to eat the cats too.

Yeah, coyotes are dangerous. Well, they're definitely dangerous. But if they only have 60 of them And they keep an eye on them It's a novel idea They know where their dens are and everything It's fucking beyond crazy I mean they have essentially these wild predators

Just small enough to be manageable It's not like a team of polar bears that lives in your town They're just small enough and they're just hungry enough To keep the rat problem in check. Fuck, it might work, dude. They're testing out drones. That's drone training. Yeah, it is like a drone.

You're right. It's like an animal drone. But yeah, and how do we know that they're not fucking putting chips in those coyotes' brains? Yeah, those are Google coyotes. Remote controlling them from Florida. Could be.

Coyotes got mail. Yeah, coyotes are... That's a creepy thing to have around children too because they will kill a kid yeah totally i'm saying cats won't cats can't kill a kid and you just yeah like the whole the whole city has tons of cats everywhere there's not gonna be any mice and then yeah i wonder what they do if the if the the coyotes do keep the rat population in check to the point where there's no more rats. And how do they get access to the rats? How do you ensure that the coyotes get access to the rats?

It's almost like you have to bait the rats. How do you get them into a spot where the coyotes... You just let the coyotes figure it out? Let the rats figure it out? The problem is the coyotes are going to be shy of going near people. And they're going to be hungry. But the rats are going to be near people because that's where the garbage is. So if the coyotes go near the rats,'re going near the people so the coyote is

gonna be around people that's creepy and it only takes a couple months till we start fucking those coyotes and coyotes no not not well if it was held down tied down if a coyote tried to kill you would you fuck it uh fuck if i had to i ain't a poodle you motherfucker just stick your dick in the coyote i'm not for dominate them yeah animal sex doesn't seem as good as like fish sex and dolphin fish and dolphin sex fish well fish sex they don't have sex it seems cleaner and they don't even have vaginas do you know that fish they they don't sex yeah but they're very big mouth the male they have big mouths yeah with teeth in them dude they have teeth on their tongue yeah you just pull out the teeth and fuck it i don't think you can pull out tongue teeth oh have you ever that ever

seen that fish where um there's a parasite that lives inside of its mouth and eats its tongue and actually replaces its tongue and it becomes the tongue yeah yeah yeah it is the tongue like the fish's mouth i don't know let. Just Google fish with parasite for tongue. But it literally doesn't have a tongue anymore. It has this fucking bug living in its mouth. Nature, you scary.

Nature, you so scary. Nature, you so scary. Oh. One of the newest things that someone tweeted me is this combination polar bear, grizzly bear hybrid

that has been seen a lot in Alaska lately. This shit's so fucking crazy. The tongue? Yeah, the tongue is nuts. Look at that. Hey, guys. How you doing? The picture we're looking at is a dead fish that has this larva, whatever the fuck it is, beetle, bug-looking thing living in its mouth that literally replaces the fish's tongue.

Takes a spot. The fish can't get rid of it, so it just accepts the fact this thing lives in its mouth that literally replaces the fish's tongue takes a spot the fish can't get rid of it so it just accepts the fact this thing lives in its mouth and the fish keeps eating and as the fish is eating this uh this thing living as its tongue gets to feast so this works the dick and this works the balls yeah it works and it takes the same place like it helps get the food down into the hole but it also steals a bunch for itself i guess that's crazy yeah it's the the parasite relationship with uh parasites and organisms is so creepy there's so many different weird examples of parasitic relationships i'm calling your phone bro oh really uh look at this picture this is like a skeleton version of that parasite animal thing oh that was that dude oh let me see fuck uh oh

hey how's it going big guy i don't know if i can call him back let me see if i can kiss it you want me to kiss it right now um yeah the parasitic relationship is very strange man there's parasites have parasites That's a good question. I have to. What's inside there? Hey, John, it's Joe. Did you get the other number? It's been busy.

That number's busy. Okay. It's still busy, he's saying. All right, hold on. We're going to make sure it's cleared off right now. Otherwise, I'll just put you on speakerphone. Yeah, let me hold on to you for a second right here. We'll figure this out with Brian.

Try it now. Can you try it now? Or should I hang up? Hang up and try it now, and if it doesn't work, call me back. All right, he's trying it now. Yeah, the aquatic worm is the weirdest one. Grows inside of a grasshopper's body, and then when it's ready to be hatched, it tricks the grasshopper into committing suicide.

Yeah. Is it coming in? Yeah. All right, here we go. Hello? Hello? Mr. McAfee. Yes.

It's Joe Rogan. How are you, sir? I'm doing good, sir. How are you doing? I'm doing great, man. We're online now. So I want to thank you, first of all, for taking this conversation with us because you don't know anything about this podcast, and you took a real chance in doing this, and I really appreciate that. Because your story...

Well, you're very welcome, sir. Go ahead. I'm saying your story is absolutely fascinating. And it really is a privilege to be able to communicate with you while all this is going on. Because as you know, your story has become a bit of a pop culture legend right now. And for folks who don't know what the story is, you founded McAfee Antivirus Software, a tremendously successful company. But for the last five years, you've been living in Belize, sort of living like a character in a Hunter S. Thompson movie. And now you're in a bit of hot water and you're on the lam stating your case on your blog, which is official. What is the blog's name, the URL for the blog?

Well, the blog is official McAfee. No, I'm sorry. The blog is whoismacafee.com. Sorry, whoismacafee.com. Our Twitter is official McAfee. And whoismacafee.com, you're updating on almost a daily basis. You're writing all this stuff, man? Every post from me is from my own hand.

So that is a very rare situation where a guy's on the lam, and while he's doing it, he's making a blog. Are you doing this because you fear that your story's not going to get out there clearly and correctly? Well, it's not that I fear it's not. I know it's not. The story has gotten out there through the agents of people like Jeff Wise and Joshua Davis of Wired Magazine, and so the story was radically incorrect as they portrayed it. Davis of Wired Magazine, and so the story was radically incorrect as they portrayed it. They portrayed you as this sort of off-the-rails nutter who's living in this beautiful country and having a big party for your life.

It seemed like you were, you know, that's how they portrayed it. Correct. Actually, they went so far as to quote specific drugs they said they were using, like MDPV, which is methylene-dioxypyruvalerone. Now, anybody who knows that drug knows it is the most addictive drug on the planet. People who started cannot start, which means that as we're speaking, I must be taking it. So, oh my God, the rats, the rats. I'm sorry, rats are jumping out of my phone. So the question is, do I sound like a demented, paranoid schizophrenic or not? Wow.

Well, I would have to be like right next to you and looking you in the eyes to answer that honestly because some people are really good. Some people are really good at being smooth and keeping it together while they're all fucked up. But these speculations about this. Let's just say what you're wanted for, first of all. Your next-door neighbor turned up dead, and you had to flee for your safety because you're sure, rather, that there's some sort of a conspiracy, and that they're going to try to not only blame you for that, but you believe even possibly harm you or kill you? Well, it's not that I believe it.

I know it for a fact, sir. You know it for a fact. By the way, he was not my next-door neighbor. He lived about 200 yards down the beach. I barely knew the gentleman. Oh, okay. And there was no dispute between you and this gentleman? I'm sorry, there's no what?

There was no dispute between you and this gentleman? Oh, absolutely there was a dispute, but it was nothing more than dispute that all neighbors face. He did not like my dogs. I didn't speak much with the gentleman. He drank more than the average person, and I just didn't get along. And he did not like the dogs barking at night.

Quite frankly, I didn't like them barking at night either. They annoyed me. So I understood his complaint. But as to being hostile or hateful, absolutely not. But someone poisoned your dogs. They did, and it was the night before. It could not have been him. He owns dogs himself, or owned dogs.

Any dog lover, I don't know whether you have dogs or not, Joe, but no dog lover, no one who has dogs would ever, ever harm another dog. Certainly not that way. And the poison used was the most horrible. They were, they were vomiting blood. They were shitting blood. You know, I had to put them out of their misery. No one would do that to a dog if they love dogs. So you feel like someone else was involved and they did it and this man is being connected to that because he died. Now, why are they blaming it on you? Okay, let me give you the history.

In the last day of April of this year, I woke up at 6 in the morning to 42 armed soldiers in full riot gear carrying automatic weapons storming my property in orange walk on the river uh... but was held in handcuffs behind my back in the sun for fourteen hours without without through water at one point by the way i ask a card for prudent water not just for me but for everyone else the guards response was do i look like a chef to you now indeed he did not look like a chef to you now indeed he did not look

like a chef so it was my mistake but it was not a pleasant day from that moment on I've had nothing but problems with the Belizean government the day afterwards I demanded an apology from the Prime Minister and I've been vocal and an outspoken opponent ever since now they thought that you were running a meth lab that was the accusation, correct? Because you actually were doing some legitimate scientific work, according to what I've read, was that you were trying to work on some new antibiotic that comes from plants found in the rainforest.

Was that the idea? Well, it's a new science called quorum sensing, which involves communication between bacteria. And it was not really an antibiotic. It was a topical antiseptic, but a fairly magical one. By the way, a week after the raid, the government tried to charge me with running an antibiotics laboratory without a license. That failed because, first of all, no such law exists. After that, they tried to charge me for hiring security guards without a license. It's been going on nonstop for seven months.

And the, now, the other reason why they would suspect that there was some crazy drugs involved was because of forum posts that have been attributed to you that were all about purifying the chemicals known as bath salts and turning them into some crazy, new, more concentrated form of something that makes you hypersexual. And all these posts online were attributed to you. Are these things you actually wrote? No, absolutely I wrote them. And if you go there, the site is Blue Light.

It's the largest drug forum in the world. And basically, 10 years ago, a drug called MDPV-10, a mythical drug, people claimed to have found with magical properties, and the myth continues on. My post was claiming to have rediscovered the formula for it. Now, the chemists online, there are about 200 chemists on Blue Light, all said, this is a hoax, this is total nonsense, and they wandered off. The rank and file followed through with it. I am a practical jokester. I have a lot of free time, and I just like to have fun. So you just trolled? I rediscovered that formula.

I would go to Bayer Laboratories in Germany with a formula and a sample and demand a check for a billion dollars. What would I be doing here? So you think you would get a billion dollars for some drug that makes you hypersexual? Hell yeah. Hot Rod 6000. Okay. Well, let's say, what do you think Viagra, what do you think that Cialis, what do you think all these sex drugs are? They are marital aids.

So a marital aid, a marital aid that enhance sex. Yes, I think so. I think the president would be down on his, the president of the company would be down on his knees handing me the check going, we now own the world. I mean, of course so. I mean, what do you think drugs are all about, sir? Well, yeah, I think people draw the line with bath salts. I don't know the actual effects of it physically because I haven't experienced them. But when you see them attributed to people biting people's faces off and shit like that, which is what we see in the news,

and the crazy stories on airwid.org, if you go and read the airwid uh trip reports of people who have taken that stuff it doesn't seem like a good experience at all so i don't know how that would be like really profitable if you read this poster it had nothing to do with bath salt it had to do with a drug called mtpv can right if you read all of the myth about it it had nothing to do with that it was a purely sexual enhancement. Okay, so the bath salt label... In my mind, it has nothing to do... They just attributed it to, quote, bath salts. This is, again, the mainline

press doing what it does best. Let's sensationalize as best we can. But you know all about these chemicals in pretty intimate order. I mean, you know all the various different chemical names, and you know enough to troll these people effectively. But you don't experience these drugs yourself?

Of course not. I know a lot of things. I know a lot about IP address rectification. I don't know how to do it. You know a lot of things that you do not do. I read, sir. I have plenty of time. Oh, I believe you.

No, I'm listening. Anything interesting, I will devour. I believe you. I mean, I'm not saying that I have plenty of time Anything interesting I will devour I believe you, look I'm not saying that I don't believe you I have no reason to question you I just thought it was a very strange thing to do To write this really elaborate troll about sex You know, about making

You know, you want to jerk off to your dick bleeds I thought it was hilarious Okay, well I thought it was hilarious too But some well, I thought it was hilarious, too, but some people did not. But listen, this is not unique for me. If you search online for a thing called observational yoga, let me tell you this story. A woman from the Village Voice, right, the woman

of the Village Voice called me to make a comment on the highly publicized lawsuit between Bikram Chowdhury and a guy named Gregory Gamuccio. And Gregory used to be one of my yoga students. She had no sense of humor. So she finally said, what are you doing now?

I said, oh, I'm running a bunch of observational yoga studios in Belize. She goes, what's that? I said, well, we discovered that if you sit in an easy chair, drink wine, and eat hors d'oeuvres and watch people do yoga, you get exactly the same benefits. She said, really? So I stretched it out. and eat hors d'oeuvres and watch people do yoga, you get exactly the same benefits. He said, really? So I stretched it out. I said, yes, and we're going to start opening up observational weight training studios.

And I went on to say that it works for everything except we've had no sex with observational concert pianists. We have people watch people play piano all day long and they still can't play the piano. We don't know why. Now, obviously, it's a fucking joke. And what happened? She published a story. Check it't play the piano. We don't know why. Now, obviously, it's a fucking joke. And what happened? She published a story.

Check it out on the web. A long story about observational yoga. I had franchise requests from all over the world. That's hilarious. But you did have this chemical lab on your lot, developing this antiseptic. Absolutely. So that's where the confusion came in,

where people were like, oh, so this guy actually has all this equipment but he's not you know so you weren't you weren't doing any of that stuff that that was said in that blog that was all in humor but did they find any of those chemicals and substances when they raided your place but they found them then they they weren't illegal because those those substances aren't illegal technically? No, they found none of those substances, sir. They swept that lab with a fine-toothed comb. There was nothing in there but herbs that we had picked along the river, a lot of alcohol

because you need ethanol, not alcohol, but ethanol in order to extract what we were looking for, microscopes and a bunch of other stuff. Me running a meth lab, what on earth? How would I sell it? I'd have to be competing with the Zetas up in Mexico, that gang that cuts people's heads off just for looking at the wrong. I'm not that stupid.

Just to play devil's advocate, if you were going to be this incredibly rich guy, which by all reports you are, living in this country, having a 17-year-old girlfriend, which by all reports you are, living in this country, having a 17-year-old girlfriend, which by all reports you do. And you were, my friend applauds you. Congratulations. Sorry, I applaud you as well.

And you were trying to have a good time and you were cooking up some stuff and I wouldn't necessarily think you would want to take it public. I would think that that in and of itself, cooking that stuff up and reporting about it online would be enough. I mean if you were a poor person and it was an amazing business opportunity, but I feel like a guy like you who moves down to Belize with a shitload of money, you're already in it for the vacation anyway. Why would you go back to work? Why would you really try to pitch some hypersexual meth you know I could see playing devil's

advocate why people would think that that is the story could you see why people would think that is the story yeah I can understand but let me tell you something sir money is the ultimate aphrodisiac I hate to tell you that and I hate to be cynical but a man at my age at 67 it is the idea aphrodisiac. I hate to tell you that, and I hate to be cynical, but a man at my age at 67,

it is the idea of lots of cash that turns some women on. I'm sorry to say that, and I will get trashed. You're not going to get trashed. That's honesty. That's honesty, man. From your experience especially, it's proven to be absolutely factual. So you are, in a sense, you're saying... I'm sitting here with Samantha.

I don't know if anybody's been following the blog. And Samantha is probably... She has more balls than any woman I have ever met. And she is a fierce tiger-like ball of fire. And she is looking at me now like she's going to rip one of my legs off or maybe both of my nuts. I don't know. How hot is Samantha on a one to ten? Wait, she's a champion?

She's got balls? No, he's just joking. How hot is she on a one to ten? That was my friend. I'm sorry. How hot is she? I'm not talking about sexually. I'm talking about just as a tiger, someone that you would never, ever want to fuck with.

So she's tough. She's badass. That's what I meant when I said she's got more balls than me. I see what you're saying. Look, what you're trying to say is that even though money is an aphrodisiac, it's not like you don't have respect for women, and you respect women very much. No, no, I'm not saying that at all. I do respect women.

I respect women tremendously. Of course, of course. But I'm also a realist. I know what motivates people. I'd be stupid if I didn't think that money might have something to do with young girls following me around. Let's face it. Although, to this point, it makes sense. My ass is grass.

I'm in deep shit. You better keep me on the phone a long time here. I will keep you on the phone as long as you need, sir. We'll cool her down. We'll calm her down. Take deep breaths. Do you want to say hi to her? Yes.

Okay, Brian does. Sure. We'll say hi to her for a moment. Okay. Say hi. Hello. Say hi to her for a moment. Okay. Say hi. Hello. Hi, Samantha. Hi.

How are you doing? What's going on? Are you ticklish? Brian, settle down. Sorry, my friend's retarded. I'm a little bit angry. Are you having a... You're a little bit angry?

Yeah. Why are you angry? Because of what John just said. Because of what john just said because of what john just said i think what he said was fairly mild he was just saying that you uh you're a very powerful person you got a a strong presence you're feisty you're feisty yeah i don't think there's anything wrong with that you got to give him some slack no so um how long have you known John? Over a year and a half now. Over a year and a half.

Do you enjoy his company? Would you be willing to endorse his character? Does he use Norton and our buyers? I enjoy being around him. You enjoy being around him? That's good. So you guys have a good relationship? Yeah.

Excellent. We have a good relationship. All right. You're a fascinating person. Can I talk to John again? Yeah, sure. Thank you, Samantha. Thank you for that.

Oh, please. She seems a bit calmer now. Dude, she's a natural on radio. She should have her own show. I agree fully. I want to get her on Howard Stern. Someone on the block said, you know, we need to get on Howard Stern. We'd find out what

Sam was like in bed. And I responded, we'd get Sam on Howard Stern. We'd find out what Howard was like in bed. Jesus. Howard's a married man. How dare you, sir? You are living that life that everybody would say, like, one day, man, fuck it. I just a married man. How dare you, sir? You are living that life that everybody would say, like, one day, man, fuck it. I just want to retire to some

awesome country, live on the beach, and have lots of beautiful women around me. That's you, man. You're really doing that. Well, I'm not doing it right now, sir. I'm covered with insect bites, and I'm not exactly living the life I would like to live. No matter where you're living, I swear it has been an improvement. Well, I believe your situation right now is dire.

Before this, though, you were living this magical life of retirement fantasies, what men think of as the perfect sort of a place to live as an expat. Why did you decide to move to Belize? It's the most beautiful country in the world. I am well-traveled. I think there are a few countries I have not visited, and Belize is the most beautiful. The offshore reef allows me to have a dock right in front of my house with a boat.

You can't do that in Florida, New York, anywhere on the Pacific. The water is aquamarine blue. The weather is spectacular year-round. The fishing is great. The diving is great. It's a beautiful country. Did you have a bunch of friends that lived down there before you moved? No, else I would not have moved here.

Really? Why is that? Oh, you wanted to get away. Yeah, get away. That's the whole key. Now, what, if anything, did this have to do with you? You had a business in America for a while where you were doing some, explain what you were doing with airplanes.

There was like some acrobatic sort of contest you guys were doing with planes. Like, what were you doing? It was not a business at all. I never took a dime. I never made a dime. In fact, I think I lost, you know lost probably $10 million on that whole affair. It was just for fun. It was for myself. My friends had enjoyed flying, and we flew these things called kite wing airplanes. I mean, they're real airplanes with instrumentation and real airplane engines,

but they look like motorcycles with wings. It is a kick in the ass. And I promise you, if you've ever done it, you will get addicted. Wow. So for a few years, that's what I was doing. And then what happened that led you to quit doing it? Didn't someone die? My nephew died and one of his passengers.

There's a lawsuit from that. In fact, I've had more lawsuits than God. Everything from someone tripping over a log on my property and suing me for $10 million to a wrongful death from the passenger in my nephew's airplane. Yeah, that is an unfortunate aspect of our society, that people look at any sort of a situation where it involves dealing with a rich person as possibly an opportunity to hit the lottery, whether it's altercations, physical altercations. When a guy like you, you're obviously a very successful man,

and you become a target for shysters, right? Basically, let me tell you, this is the strangest lawsuit. I bought a house in Florida, put a down payment down, changed my mind a few days later and said, I'm declining the contract, put a down payment down, changed my mind a few days later, and said, you know, I'm declining the contract, keep the down payment. I was sued for half a million dollars, even though two weeks later, they resold the house for hundreds of thousands more than my contract, and they sued me. It's like, unbelievable. They suffered no loss. In fact, they suffered a tremendous gain by me canceling that contract. It's a crazy world, my friend.

Yeah, it is a crazy world. It's a crazy world, and the legal system is most certainly not the most perfect setup. But when you moved to Belize, were you aware of what their legal system was like? Because you seemed to be having a real hard time with the powers that be there. Did you know that it was kind of fucking sketchy down there? Of course I knew it was sketchy. I didn't realize it was this sketchy. I didn't realize that as a rich foreigner,

you are obligated to pay your dues. That is, if you're going to donate money, I've donated more than $7 dollars worth of stuff in this country uh but i did it in a way that the powers that be could not skim anything you know i bought boots for example for every police officer in orange walk district um and i put i demanded an accounting who gets which boots now what government official is going to be able to skim money off of that they say well give us the money and let us buy the boots. Well, they would keep 99%

and buy two pairs of boots. This is how it works. The rest would go to their families and in their own pockets. Well, I don't play by those rules and it pisses everybody off. The government

sent someone in for a donation. This is prior to the last election. When I heard the amount, I said, get the fuck off my property. How much are they asking for? I'm not used much they asked people saying that how much they asking for two million dollars Jesus fucking Christ this is for one for one they were

gonna make my life better they were going to give me all sorts of preferences I would didn't want to hear the fucking preferences get the fuck off my property there is no argument. There's no question. There is no communication here. Just get the fuck off. Yeah, it seems... They don't like that. You know...

Just piss them off. It seems like it would be nice to give them a little bit of money. You know, nice to... If they really have the altruistic notions in mind

of, you know, keeping the community in good order and governing things well, but it seems like you're dealing with an ancient system of corruption that's almost insurmountable. When you deal with, like, is that what they call a banana republic? This is way below a banana republic.

Keep in mind, Belize was founded by pirates and is still controlled by pirates. Founded by pirates? You rule through fear and you collect debts through extortion. This is the way life is. But they can't extradite you to America? Is that the case? Like, if you're lawsuits, like, do you have to go to America to deal with the lawsuits, like, involving the plane crash?

No, of course not. You know how the legal system works if if anyone ever did get a judgment which no one has out of all these lawsuits all of them have failed i will settle nothing for a dime i don't care if it costs me 10 million dollars i will pay it i will i will fight it rather than give someone a single time from suing me so but if you ever do get a judgment they can collect it anywhere this is the way the world works so if they did find you responsible it wouldn't matter they would be able to get to you

so it's not that you're in Belize for that reason of course but how else can anybody like the airplane lawsuit the airplane didn't belong to me I was not even there at the time everything was kosher

accidents happen I am sorry I lost a nephew in that crash I am sorry. I lost a nephew in that crash. I am sorry that someone lost a father and a husband. But it was an accident, for Christ's sakes. No one is going to find me guilty. It's ridiculous. And this has been going on for seven years.

They just wear you down until you pay. But I will never pay. I will never settle. I will fight this if it takes 50 years and costs me my last penny because I will not. I will not submit to extortion. Well, it's kind of interesting that you would be held responsible for it when you think about the fact that who knows how many people

die in motorcycle accidents every year and that's thought to be a respectable normal activity that although very dangerous, when people die in it, you don't go immediately looking for someone to sue because they were involved in a dangerous activity. It's really weird to me.

I guarantee you would. If it was owned by Bill Gates or Steve Jobs or Wozniak or me, absolutely you'd go after the person because that's what they do. Exactly. Now, your situation is you're on the run, essentially.

Do you have official charges against you? I have no charges whatsoever. So you just, but you know they're looking for you. I am in the interest that they want for questioning. However, I know how this system works. After the questioning, I am detained. They can legally detain you forever in this country with no charges. And it's easy to make a charge because there's

no law here. Even though it's on the books, there is no real law. The law is ruled by the powers in the party. And so, you know, I'm not turning myself in for questioning. If you want to question me, call me on the phone. I'll be happy to talk to you. I'll answer anything you want to know. But yet you still plan on staying in Belize. It's my home, sir. I mean, maybe you don't understand that when you love a country and you love the people and you love where you are, it becomes your home. So I don't care how bad it gets politically.

I don't care how many nasty people show up at the top of the government. I will fight it. I will fight it. I will not leave. Oh, I understand that that's your position, and I understand your passion. Oh, I understand that that's your position, and I understand your passion. It's just very unusual that someone would be willing to deal with such dangerous situations. A lot of people would not have that sort of resolve in committing to a place to live. Well, when you're 67, your future is very simple.

You don't have a lot to risk. You say that, man, but you're going way out of your way to speak to people like myself, to speak to Alex Jones today, which I know you had a conversation with earlier, talking to people at Wired, telling your case. You obviously have a vested interest in staying alive and a vested interest in telling the truth about your situation. You're not a guy that's looking for it at the end.

No, I'm not, but I'll tell you one thing. My most important point, and I'm going to say it right now, is that three of my friends are in prison, and they have been in prison for going on three weeks because they could not get their hands on me. Even if they do get their hands on me, those friends will stay in prison. This is the way the system works. This is is unjust they have been charged with bogus charges uh if you go to my website which is whoismacafee.com again whoismacafee.com you will find email forms email the prime

minister that everybody everybody is listed there there demanded these people get released this is injustice at the highest order i think the old man but they are all young men one of the service early twenties for the brand new baby his wife by the way was arrested and held for a week with a newborn baby before she was released you know anybody who hates and that it was arrested a cab driver who helped me she was arrested uh... you know anybody who hates and that it was arrested a cab driver who helped me she was arrested that this is probably utterly absurd because you are my friend you are therefore arrested and punished and by the way the prisons here

are no joke there are no beds you have concrete floors there are no toilets there are no showers there is no fucking food so please everyone go to my side, whoismacrophy.com. Look at the form, mail these idiots, and ask for something. Release these people. Is there a way to resolve this situation? Is there a way in Belize?

The corruption that you're talking about sounds so overwhelming. I mean, it seems like if you go there and fight it, it's almost like swimming into the ocean and hoping to hit land. It's almost like an insurmountable task. You would think so, sir, but 70% of this economy depends upon tourism. Believe me, if the outside world gets pissed off enough, the government will listen. If 70% of any economy disappears, that country collapses. At some point, they will have to yield. Or I will stay like this. I will stay in hiding forever, and I will continue to write forever. Those are the only two options.

Well, I can certainly tell you this. Listening to your story has made me not want to go on vacation there. I would never go on vacation there. Because if the shit hit the fan, it sounds like the place is controlled by fucking crazy people. Well, it is controlled by crazy people, and by the way, sir, I'm going to check to see whether you emailed something yourself, and if not, I'm

going to come after you. I am indeed. I'm going to harass you with law and swap music outside your house for hours. I don't understand. What did you say? If I did it? He wants you to email it. If you don't go on my blog and mail yourself, then I'm going to come after you and play

bad music in front of your house forever. Lawrence Welk was a wonderful man, and he played some beautiful music. But I will... Not only that, we'll promote it. Try listening to it for hours on end. Isn't that how they got Noriega out? Didn't they play Metallica or something like that? I think they played...

I'm sorry, sir? I said, isn't that how they got Noriega to come out of... He was held up in a house when they finally arrested him? Yeah, but they were playing Rolling Stones to him. I don't think he liked Mick Jagger and his crowd. Right. So you still believe that this can be resolved and you can go back to Belize

and go back to living your wonderful life in your home? I do indeed. If I am wrong, then I really am crazy. So you believe that by exposing all this corruption, turning a lot of negative publicity on the way the government is running Belize. This could hurt their economy and it can make them reconsider and become nice?

How's it going to get you back? I'm sorry, but money does motivate people. I believe you. No, I certainly believe you. But it just seems like you're in a situation where you're dealing with so many dangerous folks. I couldn't imagine you not wanting to just get the fuck out of there

and maybe come back to America where our system of law is a little bit more obvious. Okay, well, there are a couple of issues. Number one, I'm traveling with a young woman whose life is in my hands, and trying to get her out of the country with me or move with her would put her in danger. She will not leave me. I've tried threatening. I've tried pleading. All she says is, where you go, I go.

And she's threatened now to slash my throat in the middle of the night if I even suggest it again. So I have her to think about. Yeah, or don't be around people that are thinking about cutting you. Yeah. That's another option. Yeah. Obviously, that's just a figure of speech. She's joking, sir.

I did not in any way mean to imply that she would actually do it. We know. We know. We were just joking around with you. Maybe I was joking with the whole time. Well, let's listen, man. It's great that you have such a loyal companion. My humor has stretched in these days, so if I miss some of it, please forgive me.

It's great that you have such a loyal companion in this terrible time of crisis. Now, how are you, I mean, without giving away your location and giving away your methods of concealment, can you tell us about how you're living? Well, I'm not living very good. Well, actually actually today I'm living really good I do manage to move from time to time I do get some some warm showers by the way until you lose everything you have no clue what's truly valuable to me number one other than food of course hot showers you have no

fucking clue what life is like without it. So we're living high on a hog today. Now, you may think we're living in a hobble, but for today, I'm in hog heaven. My life has not been exactly pleasant. I've been moving frequently, sometimes every four hours, sometimes once a day. Again, my biggest concern is making sure that Sam is safe. Moving with Sam is a lot more difficult, of course, because people are looking for an elderly white man and a cute young girl. Well, gee whiz. How hard is that to spot? And yet we've managed for almost three weeks to evade the authorities, and I plan on continuing to do it until my dying day, if necessary.

So the idea is not to hole up until you get this resolved. The idea is to just hole up to the end. Well, when I get this resolved, if I get this resolved, that is the end. Then I go home, Sam goes with me, and we go back to swimming and fishing and sitting in the sun. Now, you've used a bunch of different elaborate disguises, too, that you were pretty open with, different things that you did to hide your appearance? Yes.

What did you do? Actually, I met the Financial Times reporter, Adam Thompson. He was actually going to come financial times reporter uh... problem adam thompson change you've got your comment and and and stay with us for a lifetime and chronic or pants but he kind of freaked out after he got here and and and uh... research if we can help them and pay to leave after four hours he did get four hours of tape interview and this is uh... his story will appear into london financial times on the seventh of december should be

fascinating story. I felt sorry for him. I chose him because he was an objective writer. It did not occur to me, and this is how stupid I am, that someone who was a financial reporter might not be suited for this life. Wow. So at least he hung in there for four days. So he'll get an accurate assessment. No, not a full day. He hung in there for four hours.

Oh, for four hours. Oh, Jesus Christ. What a pussy. I wrote on the block at one point, Sam said, she really, I mean, she really railed at him. She said, I'm a girl. I'm small. I'm 20 years old. And I have more balls than you have. And, you know And the foremaster was really taken aback. I laughed and said, don't worry about it. She's got more balls than me, too.

They don't take it personally. There's an e-book about you that started off as an article in Wired, but it became so interesting that this writer constructed an e-book, and they're selling it now, I believe, on Amazon, right?

Oh, yeah, Josh Davis. Josh is not one of my favorite people. Yeah, so you hosted him. He used to do a story about the arrest and the raid. I said, okay, under this condition, if it devolves into a personality piece, I am not going to cooperate, because that's all people write about me, is personality. I do have an outside environment,

which is interesting, but people prefer to write about whatever I am. Well, you're an awesome personality. I believe that you have all these other things. You're an awesome personality. I believe, look, first of all, you're a very successful businessman. You're obviously a very intelligent person.

But let's be honest. You're an awesome personality. You say 67 years old? You're 67 a very intelligent person, but let's be honest. You're an awesome personality. You're 67 years old? You're 67 years old. You live in the beach in Belize in this incredible compound with 11 dogs. You have really hot girlfriends, and the legend is you cook meth. That's a fascinating story.

People would want to hear that. Once they chip away at all that and get to who you really are you and i have an agreement but if you and i have an agreement sir up front going this will not be a personality right this will be a story about corruption and police right and it ends up being an e-book with me holding a shotgun shirtless fuck me so josh is not my favorite person you know and in fact halfway through, I figured out what was going on. So I go, you motherfuckers, in my own mind. I understand. In my own story. And I even told him, you can ask him this.

Listen, I'm writing a story about you while you're writing a story about me. Mine will come out first. Well, I understand that what's really important to you is to get out the reality of the corruption in Belize. And that's what was important about... But do you understand that more people are going to read that piece because they got a picture of you naked with a shotgun? It's really hard to find pictures of me naked with a shotgun. That piece did not help me or the corruption. No, but I disagree, sir, and this is why,

because I think it turns eyes on it. And your amazing personality is making people aware of this corruption. That's how I'm becoming aware of it. I wouldn't become aware of it if it wasn't for the fact that it makes for this sensational story. Whether or not most of the aspects of it are true or not, you have to understand that that's why people are paying attention. People love a crazy train wreck, and a billionaire who's shirtless holding guns. That's the kind of shit people want to see. When a guy is 67 years old and he lives in a beautiful paradise with hot chicks and he's got a fucking gun and he's not wearing a shirt, that's the kind of shit people want to see.

Through that, you can get your story and your information and what's really important for you to reveal this corruption. But you have to understand that that makes it appealing. That's what's exciting about it to people. No, no, I understand that. And I understand that full well. And I am using that to the max. However, that still does not excuse Josh from a personal human relationship standpoint.

I'm sorry. So Josh violated your trust. I agree. And he did me a great favor, but he did it in a very unjust fashion. So Josh violated your trust by making it a personality piece. Big time. Yeah, I understand. So you're just not interested in revealing those aspects of your personal life,

and you thought that by having him and having him over in confidence, he would not make it about that. I did indeed. I totally understand. Before you even came, I had the agreement from him that it will not be a personality. I totally understand that, sir. Since it was, I folded it

into everything. I'm not a stupid person. I'm foolish, I admit, but still a little bit clever. I go, okay, if this is what it is, I'm going to just use you as a springboard, which I did. Well, and I appreciate that you did do that, so that's how I found out about your blog, and

I think that's one of the most beautiful things about this day and age, is that a guy like you really cannot be misrepresented, because you can represent yourself, and you can put your own words down on a blog and have an answer for every question instead of just leaving things up to your accusers especially in a situation like yours where you're on the run you still have the opportunity to put up your version of the things word for word exactly how you want it distributed and that that's a rare

thing about our time, and this conversation that we're having right now. Same thing. You have a rare opportunity to state your case emphatically. No, I agree fully, and that's why I'm talking to you instead of CNN. CNN has been reaching out to me every single day, and

I've actually been telling them to fuck off. The traditional press operates on the principle of let's use what's already been regurgitated and throw a different line on that moment here with you i'm talking to you real time you have you have the the resources you have the access uh and you have the the viewers, or the listenership, which is completely different. I can talk to you, and you can ask me anything. I don't care what it is. My sexual preference is, you know,

whatever. Have I ever stolen this child? I don't care. I will answer honestly. Because it comes from my lips with my intonations. If I talk to CNN, they're going to edit it to the point that I still come off like a raving lunatic. Of course.

I'm going out of the trash again coming out of the telephone. It's a dying method of getting information. It doesn't make sense. The way it's broken up in commercials and designed to sandwich products in between that you don't want, it's a dying way of distributing information. It doesn't hold up in the age of the internet. But I think this is one of the rare cases, as far as a big news story like yours, where a guy gets to really tell his story to a bunch of different venues, whether it's Alex Jones or me, or whether it's your blog,

or whether it's your Twitter, you, Official McAfee Twitter, you were able to tell your side of things in a way that we've never seen before. Like, could you imagine when OJ was on the run if OJ had a video blog and he got to tell his story? It would have been a completely different story with a different ending. Yes, possibly. Yeah, I mean, who knows? I mean, if Lee Harvey Oswald could have had a fucking blog, that would have been an interesting thing. We know, by the way, it was Michael Jackson who killed his wife.

I mean, if you can remember that far back, Michael Jackson and the young boy were headlines. And then suddenly, everybody forgot about him and started looking at O.J. So if you look at the motive, it had to be Michael Jackson. That's hilarious.

I don't think that's correct. But I respect you putting it out there. I think it's not correct, dude, but it was a joke, sir. I know it was a joke, man. I'm reacting to it as if I'm retarded. Bobo killed it. Where was the monkey? My apologies.

No, no worries, man. Are you comfortable with this position of being this guy who's on the run and being this guy who's accused of a horrible crime and of having this really crazy wild lifestyle? Are you enjoying this stage of your life other than the fact that you're on the run? Good God, no. I mean, this is one of the worst points of my life. Absolutely not. But I'm not backing off from anything. It's not something that is going to deter me from continuing. I mean, I would much rather have the freedom of movement. I'd like to jump in my pool and sun myself and sit at the end of the dock and throw a fishing line in the water

or just get in the boat and bob around for a while. But no, this is not something I'm comfortable with. It's something I'm coping with. There's a while. But no, this is not something I'm comfortable with. It's something I'm coping with. There's a difference. How many people have a negative reaction to your lifestyle, the lifestyle that you were leading before you got into trouble with the Belize government? The older guy with the young chicks partying all the time? Well, I would say 90%. The older guy with the young chick says the partying all the time did not exist. Not the way people think there was partying.

Okay, so, I mean, even just hanging out with a 20-year-old naked, that shit's partying. That's how I look at it. I want to party with you. I don't mean partying by, like, the drugs that you were trolling people on taking. I don't mean to imply that.

But I mean to imply that you're living, like, a pretty festive lifestyle down there. Well, I was enjoying it, but I still enjoy it a little bit here. Was there blowback from the locals at all? How do they feel about this older rich guy moving in and banging all these young hotties? Well, I think the men, by and large, would like to figure out how I did it. The women hated it. They would look at me, and then they would imagine their husbands in the same situation,

and suddenly I was the devil incarnate. Yeah, isn't that funny that people give a shit about what you can pull off? Shouldn't you be happy when you see a guy who's in his 60s who's managed to pick up some 20-year-old hot chicks? Shouldn't everybody be happy that that's possible? Why does one man success... I'm happy when I see anybody

enjoying themselves and being happy because, my God, you know, the person next to you is just like yourself. We're not as separate as you think. We are all each other. And so the rational and sane person with a heart is always happy when they see another person happy. That's why we smile when other people smile.

Yeah, what is it about other people's success that for some reason with weak-minded people somehow or another they feel like it's taking away from them? They want to attack you. They want to attack you for your success. A 67-year-old guy that could bang 20-year-old girls wins everywhere in the world. Is there any protection that the U.S. offers in a situation like this? Can you go to the embassy or whatever? Yeah, that's a good question.

Of course I could go to the embassy. The problem is everybody has a false idea of how much power an embassy has. It is a tiny little building in a foreign country. I could go to the embassy. There are two options afterwards. I'd have to stay there forever like Julian Assange or leave the embassy and face immediate arrest. I mean, the embassy isn't going to go, hey, let this man out of prison. They're going to say, F you. Well, you're a man of considerable resources.

I mean, I would think that a guy with your kind of wealth would be at least be able to arrange for some sort of legal meeting with someone in the United States to help you get back. Has that been done at all? Well, you're assuming I want to get back, but, you know, as I stated earlier, I don't want to get back. Even just to get to all? Well, you're assuming I want to get back, but as I stated earlier, I don't want to get back. I do not want to leave. Even just to get to safety? I mean, while you're on the run? I mean, you would rather stay on the run in Belize than be comfortable in America?

Just sort things out? I don't think I'm going to be on the run forever. In fact, I seriously do not think I'm going to be on the run for much longer. What's the plan? The government is not stupid and i know for a fact that the tourism has to have been impacted by this affair and not in a positive way sir um and if given the fact that tourism is 70 of the economy i believe that eventually common sense will prevail i really. And some accommodation will be reached.

So, do they have other suspects? Or do you know what's going on with the case of the guy who was murdered? Well, if they have other suspects, I don't think they're pursuing them. They still have not named me as the suspect. They just named me as someone they want to talk to. But this is police. The last person who gave himself in for talking was a guy named Arthur Young. They handcuffed his hands behind his back and shot him 14 times in a police van because they claimed with his hands handcuffed behind his back,

he attempted to wrestle a weapon away from one of the 10 officers in there with him. Now, please, get a clue, people. But yet you still want to live there. This is amazing that you think that this can be worked out. Because the officers themselves are not to blame. I am not trying to blast the entire police department. The average police policeman has a heart and is a decent person. They're paid less than a dollar an hour, for

Christ's sakes. So obviously they're going to be corrupt, not corrupt to the point that they have to augment their income in some fashion. It's not the police. It's a very few highly, very powerful, highly placed officials who are very powerful who have bled this country dry. This is the problem, sir. Well, listen, since you look... And I look for the fact that people can be removed from office. That's what I was going to say. You're such a bad motherfucker. Why don't you just run Belize?

You'll love it. It's a great place. I don't want to run Belize. I don't want any power. I want to fish and play and sun myself and enjoy my friendships. And do it as the king of Belize. No?

You could run it. You have real true love for it. As king of Belize? Absolutely not. Do you realize what a nightmare being a king would be being a political person? Good Lord.

Mr. McAfee? I don't want that responsibility. Mr. McAfee, I'm joking. I don't really think that you could ever be the king of Belize. Just joking, sir. No, I understand that.

But keep in mind, my humor may be stretched a little thin due to my circumstances and lack of sleep. Oh, absolutely. Oh, please. You have been an amazing interview, and your character holds strong in this terrible situation that you find yourself in. You keep it together admirably.

It was very good talking to you. I really appreciate you taking the time and using your cell phone credits. And, you know... Before you leave, let me interrupt you. Whoismacafee.com Whoismacafee.com And our Twitter site is

OfficialMacafee. And McAfee, for the folks who don't know, is spelled M-C-A-F-E-E M-C-A-F-E-E. M-C-A-F-E-E. Thank you very much. So I thought it was McAfee all these years. I called it McAfee over and over again. It's McAfee.

Sorry about that. That's what my father said, so that's what I believe. Listen, it's an honor to talk to you, sir. I wish you all the best of luck down there, and I hope you can uh find safety and security and everything works out thank you very much official mcafee on twitter and whoismcafee.com thank you sir ride like the wind my friend and keep living that dream life

holla what's what was that like brian um that was interesting fascinating right yeah i think it's really silly that he wants to stay there though i if i was him i'd get the fuck out of there deal with it from afar using lawyers or like some other kind of way and then return there when you can because it seems like it just doesn't seem smart just to... Well, it was very... It was, like, conflicted. Because he would tell you that it's so corrupt and it's fucked up and they murder people. And you turn yourself in.

They shoot you in the van. Right. And then he's like, but it is my home. And those people only make a dollar an hour. And it's like, they only make a dollar an hour, so it's okay that they shoot people in a fucking van? Like, what's going on here? Like, he's all over the road. And if that girl really said he was just going to slice her throat, she probably murdered the guy.

You know? She's like, well, this is money. I'm not letting anyone get involved with this guy. Right. Like, you poison his dogs? All right, bitch. I'll go over and shoot you in the fucking head. And poisoning, like, I want to know the dog.

I don't believe that the girl did it, though. Yeah, I don't either. But I want to know, like, the dog being the dog being poisoned and this guy that has been shot, is there any DNA going on? Is there any proof? Yeah, well, actually, that's a good point. I'll answer that. There's one way you can tell is they actually, when the guy was shot,

they have a ballistics on the bullet. And then when the dogs were poisoned, McAfee had to put the dogs down. So they actually dug up the dogs, cut the dogs' heads off, and they took the dogs' heads to forensics labs. So they were trying to prove that the bullets that killed the guy are the same that killed the dogs, which would mean that McAfee... But they haven't been able to do that. And if they did, that would be big news. See, they can't fake that kind of science if mcafee has the gun you can't that's ballistics you couldn't you couldn't rig ballistics people would say well

can we see the bullet what did you do like let's see the physical evidence is there one hair of his at this guy's house well you know it could be that he visited the guy that doesn't mean anything either they're neighbors and they did have a dispute so they did communicate but you know the other thing that i didn't buy was when he said that people who are dog lovers would never poison a dog. There's some sociopathic assholes out there. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's not true. That's crazy. There's people that want their sleep and they're like,

fuck it, I'm going to poison his dogs. There's definitely people who have dogs who will poison your dogs. That I didn't know. But the other thing is he knows way too much about drugs. I've never done drugs. Right. That was nuts. And he's telling us all the different compounds and the sexual hype stuff.

If you read the stuff online, folks, I think he said it's bluelight.com. Let me Google it for you on Blue Light. I don't know if it's true, but it is fucking fascinating. The story of this guy cooking this shit up. I mean, he says it's just horse shit. He says he was fucking around and trolling. Which I believe. That dude could probably hack our computers.

I bet he could. McAfee, come on. And by the way, he obviously is a troll a little bit. He does fuck around with people. This whole thing could be a troll. The yoga thing. No, I don't think it is. They're really looking for him. But the yoga thing.

If he was a troll, it's a brilliant way to start up maybe just a blog, to get people to listen and read his blog. I bet millions of people are reading his fucking blog. Yeah. Butodoo chicken uh is the first guy who turned me on to it and he put it on uh the rogan board and i i read his uh his take on it and i was like this is fucking bananas like this this guy if he was really was doing that, was hyper-concentrating this drug, whatever the fuck it is, that makes you ridiculously hyper-sexual, and then taking it

and fucking his 17-year-old girlfriend. But the thing is, he does have a 17-year-old girlfriend. At least he did have a 17-year-old girlfriend when he was doing this. Now he's got a 20-year-old. She's 20? The new girl's 20?

The one who wanted to cut him in his sleep. She's 20. Wow. Just joked about cutting him in his sleep brother um so he he is obviously a little twisted just period sir just yet sir nothing wrong with it sir nothing wrong with it nothing wrong with it i mean but he's you know he's acting as if he's all respectable and everything but you're still banging 17 year olds like he's not i'm not saying that he's acting as if he's all respectable and everything, but he's still banging 17-year-olds. I'm not saying that he's doing those drugs, but at least he knows a shitload about those drugs. He knows enough to talk about it, and he's banging a 17-year-old.

And if you're really rich and your neighbor's dogs are barking a lot. Yeah, well, see, that's just speculation. Who knows what the fuck?'s just speculation who knows uh what the fuck you know who knows when it comes to that who knows whether or not the guy poisoned his dog but i do know that you know mcafee's he's he's out there having a great fucking time i don't think he's being completely honest about that whole drug thing he knows too too much about that shit. I don't know. Who knows? Maybe he was just trying to make boner pills.

I don't think that's what he's saying, though. It doesn't give you boners. It just makes you really, like, horny. It makes you rub yourself. You know, like, people were rubbing themselves raw, he was saying. That was his description of it. Which, again, could be fucking trolling. It could be trolling i

wish it wasn't though it's much more fun to think that it's just some nutty true story you know i don't know man the guy is uh he's quite a character but it's funny because he's not willing to you know like he was upset that this guy had written this piece about him that made him out to be this wild fucking maniac. But yet he's walking around shirtless with a fucking shotgun while they're taking pictures. It's really hard to find pictures of you shirtless with a shotgun. Shirtless, just period. Yeah, but shirtless with a shotgun. I keep my shirt on in the shower.

Yeah, but shirtless with a shotgun. I keep my shirt on in the shower. It's impossible to find a photo of you shirtless with a shotgun unless you're shirtless with a shotgun. Yeah, and you own a shotgun. Well, he does live in Belize, man. It's silly. If you're living anywhere where you need a shotgun, it's probably not the most amazing place.

Like what, I have a dock in front of my house? Well, you can have a dock in front of your house in Ohio, you know, in front of a lake. Wow. Whatever. So my internet problem over at my office sucks a fatty. DSL. This is all I can get there, apparently.

No, you can definitely get some kind of cable internet solution. It doesn't seem like they have it. T5, T7. You i might have to get something else like a t3 or some shit t7 i don't even know how those work i have to get those installed i don't know what those are expensive uh stupid stupid i mean i'm in a bad spot no you can get you can get cable i'm sure there's a time warner or a charter with you know but 4g internet you't do. Like from cell phones and shit, it's too... That's silly. Not strong enough? No, and you'll run out of bandwidth immediately.

Right. They would fuck you with that too. Isn't it funny how you can use all the bandwidth you want if you have an internet connection, but if you have a cellular internet connection, that shit's capped like a motherfucker. It's not ready yet. Well, you're just sharing it with too many.

If everyone was doing that, no one would have any. Why would they be selling it to so many people if they don't have access for that many people? They don't have access for people streaming Netflix. Like, if everyone was streaming Netflix and doing video conferencing at the same, that would just be ridiculous. I don't think they should give you an open-ended device, like a phone, that has internet access on it and say you can only use it a certain amount. I think that's stupid. I think that's, that, that, that, to me, and if everybody uses it at the same time, it doesn't work, then you're selling too many phones because you don't have the backbone

to deal with it. Well, most of the time, most people aren't using it, so that's how we have it set up. No, no. That's like saying that you're going to put all your money in the bank and then the bank only has like half your money there. And then when people want it all at once, well, we don't have it. Well, that's stupid. What'd you do with my fucking money, you cunt?

They don't. That's a bad analogy. But, point stands, you shouldn't be selling a fucking cell phone with internet on it until you have the backbone to give everybody internet if they use it all at once. That's how it should be.

It should be that everyone with a fucking cell phone could use it at an end time all day long every fucking cell phone could be downloading something big at the same time that's when you're ready that's when you're ready to sell it you fuckheads they're selling it when it's not ready they're selling you some shit that's not quite there it's like well we kind of it's experimental it's almost there well we're calling it 4g but everybody can't use it at the same time so would you rather them not have give it to us at all i'd rather them get their shit together those motherfuckers this guy's uh mcafee's down there i guess he's using i don't know what kind of phone he's using bank robber phones yeah those those portable ones that dudes get when they well wait he probably has satellite he's probably got you know the dude from virgin probably dropped

him on creative satellite phones. I wonder if he has any friends down there. That's what's really interesting. Or powerful friends. I wonder how he's doing it. It seems, I mean, I didn't want to ask him how he's hiding, but he was pretty open about certain aspects of it in other interviews about color in his face, like with shoe polish and shit and, you know, putting stuff in his mouth to make it look like he's fat. Well, I'm thinking that he was just straight up dressed up as a girl.

You know, I was thinking that too. That's a good move. Yeah. But that would be obvious. Not really. I mean, his girlfriend has balls.

She just has balls in her personality. Brian, you fucking 12 year old. How dare you? That would be funny if she had real balls. That's got to suck though, to be like almost 70 years old and fucking hiding yeah but it's it's also come on man just get out of there are you being silly if you're living in a country that has those kind of laws like the laws where

they can arrest you for life you don't want to live in that country because like if you do one thing wrong what you're going to go to prison you have that it might be pretty outside but you have to live in some kind of safe like no bullshit kind of government thing that there has to be laws yeah i couldn't rock that i couldn't i couldn't live down there where you got to worry about being that's ego that's almost ego for him staying there well he's obviously got a big ego he's a super successful guy all those all those super successful billionaire characters they all have strong egos they all think they're bad motherfuckers. They are.

That's how they got to be where they are. And then they see all these monkeys that are asking him for millions of dollars. I'm like, bitch, you ain't running me out of town. It's where I live. He's got his house there. It's where he lives. When you live somewhere for five fucking years, that is where you live. But two million bucks, man?

They're asking for two million bucks? That's got to suck. Someone knocks on your door and they ask you for two million dollars that's gotta suck someone knocks on your door and they ask you for two million dollars you're like what two million dollars a lot of fucking money even for a billionaire to give to some political douche rag in a crazy little island that was founded by pirates i wonder what's gonna happen here when you know you do that ice house game where you uh you watch a video what happens next you pause it you say what happens next yeah and then uh you do that Ice House game where you watch a video and you pause it. You pause it and you say, what happens next? And then you do a bunch of really fucked up endings to videos.

If you had to do that with this, if you had to pause this right now and say, what happens next? What would be your guess? He gets arrested. You think so? Yeah. Why do you think so? Well, I mean, it's just getting sloppy for him, I think. Why do you think so?

Well, I mean, it's just getting sloppy for him, I think. I mean, unless Belize has a donkey in their government office, just sitting there with a bucket and a donkey, and they're like, all right, let's find this guy. I don't know how, is this place high-tech at all? Do they have a real government? Do they have a real FBI-type thing going on there? That's a good question.

I don't even know how big belize is yeah like it could be like the whole the whole the whole you know people looking for him could be like two guys in a jeep you know yeah that's true right it could be like the iraqi army before we invaded yeah because i mean like just listening to this whole interview you know i heard sounds in the background the sound at one point it sounded like somebody was tapping a bowl out. I heard what sounded like a dog at one point. And so, like, if there was a guy really looking for this person, I'm sure they could probably, you know, decipher background noises and interviews and IP addresses.

Really? That phone number that he called from has to have a ip address or some kind of like you know it's using a cell phone tower they've and this place isn't you know he's a clever guy though i'm sure he's masking it somehow it must be satellite well he's on the ball as far as like technology is concerned i bet being a virus uh the manufacturer of uh virus software the biggest one of the biggest virus software companies on the planet, that guy must be so technologically literate. He must know how to mask things and hide things. Well, I wonder how much McAfee and Norton created virus in the 90s and 2000s.

You think it's a conspiracy? They created a company. I mean, if you think about it's like hey there's these things called viruses see and then we have the way to stop them you know i actually never considered that but that would be good business fuck yeah that would be smart business if you could do that he probably is trolling all of us with this virus shit he invented viruses yeah came up with virus protection software yeah he's a badass motherfucker yeah bath salts and 17 year olds this um this drug i want to know more about this fucking drug

because uh i i've never heard of it before this um this situation because i i'd never known that there was anything that that makes you like hypersexual. Um, well, those dick pills, I, you know, I,

I take, yeah, but those, those just make your dick hard, right? Uh, they make it not go away though. Like I,

they, they make you not be able to come. Oh really? Yeah. And it's just like, all right, I have a, well,

I found that i've been doing a lot of research on them lately and what happens is uh the first couple hours you take them you can get hard quick and and uh it's like it lasts a little long but you can come on it but if you try to fuck like six hours later it's like you have a morning boner that won't go away and you can't come at all what is in it that makes your dick hard? I don't know. I think it's ants. It's something extracted from ants, and it's called Hot Rod 5000.

I don't recommend it that much. But it really works. I recommend it for special occasions, but that shit's rough. When you have a hard-on that won't stop, when you can't come. It's great if you have a 17-year-old girl and you're running away doing yoga. You're fucking her in a gutter. Yeah, I don't know.

See, this thing about McAfee, I don't know how much of it is really trolling or if he ever did do this stuff. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty funny that it's mcafee i mean the whole thing sounds like a humongous troll i mean i haven't done any research so i have no idea if any of this is true i uh but what if it was you know just dude that's a great troll it's amazing what if it's norton wow yeah i don't know man the whole thing this mdpv have you ever heard of this before no it's recently banned in the u.s but it's legal in belize it belongs to a class of drugs called

cathinones a natural source of which is the east african plant cat you know what k-h-a-t is that's that shit that um those guys take the somali pirates they chew this stuff called cat and it's a it's like an amphetamine they chew it and they fucking go berserker if the fact that it's called cat just makes me think this is more of a troll no no the actual drug is a long it's not it's more of a joke right more of more evidence of simulation theory mdpv is serious shit to explain his paranoia. So one of them on the website wrote, his paranoia and erraticness.

I've been through that. I played with MDPV for about two weeks. Then I started seeing shadow people in the corner of my eye and what amphetamine heads called tree cops. It's essentially really fucked up meth. I forgot to ask him about this he had uh some thing where he called into a guy from i think it was a guy from wire that he was talking to it might have been this josh guy that he hates now and told him that the cops were outside and that there was like 30 of them standing on the beach outside of his condo.

And he couldn't move because they would shoot him. So he just stood there and they stood there and no one said anything for hours. And they went away at like 4 o'clock in the morning. And he's like, it was fucking really weird, really weird. And so to escape, he climbed into his neighbor's balcony. And his neighbor found him covered in his own urine what that's the official story asleep and and he pissed all over himself that's the that's the story now whether or not i wanted to ask him whether or not that was true because if he was suffering from extreme

paranoia and this this statement that he gave explaining that these cops were out there and they were just standing there staring at him and no one said anything and he couldn't move because if he moved they were going to shoot him and he was talking about his shoulders killing him because he was leaning up against it and he dared not move and then finally at like 4 30 in the morning they just like went away it was like what kind of a crazy story is that i forgot to ask him about that one. God damn it. I think the dudes might be on the MDPV. Although I don't want to be arrested. He's got some bitchin' tattoos, though. Look at those tribes.

Sexy as fuck. I don't want to be sued. Would that be ironic if he sued us? He said he's coming to get you a few times. Yeah, he did warn me. I don't really believe he's on that shit. I don't know. I don't know what MDPV actually does.

But he was saying that you can't do it and not get addicted to it. But apparently that's not necessarily true. Like this guy was saying that he did it for two weeks and he stopped doing it and he was writing a report on it. There's a lot of reports on this shit. This guy, Paul Early, is an addiction specialist, and he warns about the dangers of MPV. MDPV, he says, our experience clearly warns of the psychiatric and medical dangers of this drug.

We have cared for multiple patients who have abused MDPV, and they report intense and unpleasant visual hallucinations after a short binge. The drug feels non-toxic with its first use, but following a moderate binge, users suffer from mild to moderate paranoia, and about 10% of individuals who use higher doses. We have observed a sustained psychotic state with intense anxiety lasting three to seven days.

Wow. So this guy is just outright saying on gizmodo that he used this stuff um even though mcafee is saying that it's all a troll i think even if you don't know it's a troll you have to say that mcafee says it's a troll right don't you uh yeah i mean i i'm more i don't know i have no idea i i want to believe this guy but it's why it just makes no sense like like his a lot of there's a lot of things in this story that just like a common sense person would be like okay no i'm going to the u.s embassy no i'm going to escape and figure this out. Yeah. You know, I am not going to be living in wherever he's living. Yeah, you would say

I got to get in a boat and I'm going to fucking go to Cuba. Right. Or whatever's close. Where's Belize? Where is Belize? I don't know.

How far away is that shit? I don't know. Is it South America? I have no idea. You son of a bitch. I'll tell you what, in the Belize picture, if you go to Belize.com,

it's all just white people. White people holding hands. Really? White people barefoot with their feet up. Isn't it? Having a time of their life, white people.

Is Belize connected to United States in a way? Like, isn't that like... Are they our buddies? Yeah, like, isn't it supposed to be like we were, like a Puerto Rican kind of thing?

No. Or am I thinking of somewhere else? I don't know. Wow. Wow. $ 199 dollars flight to belize whoa 149 dollars that's very cheap that is cheap where the fuck is belize it says the specific properties of the drugs that he was attempting to isolate this is all in the gizmodo article by the way i take no credit for this um the specific properties of the drugs he was attempting to isolate also fit in well with what those closest to him have reported that he is an

enthusiastic amateur pharmacologist with a long-standing interest in drugs that induce sexual behavior in women indeed former friends of mcafee have said he could be extremely persistent and devious in trying to coerce women who rebuff his advances to have sex with him. Okay, but that's just like, when you see an article like that, written about someone like that, that seems to me like you have to have examples. You can't just say that. Because you can say anything about anybody. I can say that about you. I could say Brian Redband has been known to be extremely vindictive in women who ignore his advances. And he's an amateur pharmacologist.

But you have to have evidence to say some creepy shit like that, don't you? Well, I mean, he did have a chemical lab in his house when they raided it, didn't they? Yeah, but if he's telling the truth that he was using it to make an antiseptic, a natural antiseptic, I mean, I don't know. Who the fuck knows what the guy does? Who does that? Not me, but whoever invented antiseptics in the first place. I mean, who has a lab that does anything? which I think Belize is like a rainforest. All of the medical, like modern medical breakthroughs, not all of them,

but a big percentage of them come from plants that are discovered in remote rainforests. Yeah, I mean, he did say that he was just walking around picking out plants off by the creek and stuff. There's a lot of people that fucking trip on plants.

They love botany. Terrence McKenna was a botanist. I think there's a lot of people that become in love with the idea of these different fascinating plants. I mean, plants are really, I mean, if we found them on other planets, we'd be shitting our fucking pants. There's so many weird plants on this planet. There's a flower that just bloomed recently. I guess it doesn't bloom very often, but it's the world's largest flower. You should get a picture of it.

I think it's in Australia. It looks crazy. It looks like some fucking alien thing from Little Shop of Horrors, one of those little things that eats people. It means Seymour. Yeah, it doesn't even look real. And apparently it smells like rotting flesh.

Wow. Ew, really? Yeah. Plants are creepy as fuck, man. There's plants that eat things. There's plants that trick rats into falling in them and then they close up on the rats and digest them. This thing?

No, that's not it. World's largest flower blooms. If you just Google world's largest flower blooms. Yeah. That's not blooms. On Easter Day. No, that's not it. It was really recent.

It was really recent. Yes, that's it. Look at the size of that thing. It's in Switzerland. Look at the size of that thing. It's insane. It's like corn on the cob cock. Yeah, it does look like a corn on the cob.

Exactly. Look at the size of it though it's amazing holy shit and it grows like a dick it sprouts and the the the dick pops out and the flowers underneath it i mean it is when i say huge i mean how many feet is that well it's tall about looks like 12 feet maybe at least yeah it's it's towering over these people that are looking at it. Does it say there how tall it is? 2.27 meters tall. Okay, so it's only like six feet. A meter's three feet, right? I don't know.

2.2, yeah, I think a meter's three feet. Wow, amazing though. So it must be on a platform, so it makes it look even bigger. But God god it's fucking incredible the variations is 2.27 meters oh did you ask siri siri doesn't know shit watch siri fuck this up looking are you confused bitch this might answer your question it's yeah it's 7.4 feet finally sir, Siri. Siri got something right. Siri's been upgraded a lot lately.

I don't know if you... You could even buy movie tickets now. You'd just be like, I want closest tickets now. Buy them. Do you have to have an app that it connects to to do that? I don't know. Does it have to have your cell phone, your credit card stored on your phone? I don't know.

You don't know shit. I haven't done it. How do you know it works? I just saw it on... Because you're an Apple fanboy. Say it. I'm an Apple fanboy. Say it. I'm an Apple fanboy. By it on because you're an apple fan boy say it by the way to get that new phone soon oh cool i i got um first time i ever got one of those uh hard drives the ssd hard drives that's the only way to go in the future just they're beautiful

10 times faster than instant on uh rendering audio that i'm doing on and they're supposed to be more um more reliable like They don't break as easy. I've had a bunch of hard drives fail. Shit's annoying. All of a sudden, your beach ball's just spinning on your desktop. You're like, what the fuck's going on? If there was a machine and you were held down and strapped in, and the answer,

the real answer to this guy McAfee, you know, is he guilty or not guilty? And if you had to choose one, and if you choose wrong, a huge black dick goes shoved in your mouth and he comes in you. Which one would you pick? I don't think he killed anybody. You don't think he killed anyone?

I might be wrong. So that would be your answer, not guilty? Yes. If I had to make an answer of not guilty or guilty, I would say not guilty. But I don't have a, you know, it's a stupid answer. It's like, i don't have uh you know i don't have it's a stupid answer it's like i don't have any information i don't know like to to be connected to yes or no is is to me seems a silly choice like there's a lot of people that make choices about shit you know whether someone's

guilty or not guilty and they get all nancy grace on things and you know and sometimes they're fucking wrong right like nancy grace was with the duke lacrosse case you know those guys were were innocent and there was a rape and nancy grace like for days was on tv accusing them of doing it meanwhile they were set up they didn't do shit it was it was all accusation, and eventually the charges were dropped. But Nancy Grace was committed to it on her show. Because it's salacious, because it looks like that's the good thing to be upset about. There's too much fuckery in this world. Too much fuckery to know exactly what's going on unless you were there. You've got to really look at all the parts. And for this guy, who the fuck knows what happened?

Who knows what he's doing? If he really was doing that MDPV. And somebody killed your dog and your high-arm fucking boner. Well, right there. Hold on, right there. Okay. If that guy really was doing MDPV and all those people on Gizmodo are telling the truth, or the guy on Gizmodo is telling the truth

about all the people he talked to, then the guy's a liar and everything he says has to be questioned everything he says if he really never has done that mdpv right then you know then we could look at him and go wow maybe this guy's being set up but if he has done it and he lied about that just on this show if he told that false version of himself for any reason. Yeah. You know. You can't trust him anymore. The way he doesn't want to leave, like, no, I will not pay too much. Like, he's got this, you know, edge to him where it makes me think that

if he was high on some kind of fucking drug or whatever, and somebody killed your dogs, you know, and you're a guy that has a machine gun and and and you don't like shirts much and you're high on this shit i could see him just raging going like no you don't know who you fucked with you know yeah maybe but who knows if he's if he's telling the truth then i don't know hmm yeah it's. Killing your dogs will make people rage. That's like a child to a lot of people. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Who knows? Who knows? If I had to guess, though, I would guess apparently he knew a lot of bad people down there. He hung out with a lot of gangsters in Belize, which is probably a smart move. If you're a rich guy, surround know, thug-like characters. He doesn't seem like

he would hang out with thugs. He seems like he would hang out with yoga dudes. Well, at least in that one photo that we were showing during the thing, but then that other photo where he has the gun,

he kind of looks like, okay, that guy's craziness. I bet he would have been a fun dude to hang around with before all this shit went down. I bet he still is. But who knows, man? I want to know

what this airplane thing is that looks like, he looks like a motorcycle. Is that what he said? Like a kite? What is it? What the fuck did he call it? McAfee. McAfee airplane butthole.

Yeah. No, don't look up that. Airplane accident? Accident. airplane accident it's um it sounds like wild nutty fun to get on some kind of a fucking motorcycle like kite

yeah I wouldn't do it with you yeah I wonder what the fuck it is yeah plagued by lawsuits even like way before this in 2010 it talked about him uh hiding in belize and now he hopes to give something back by deriving antibiotics from jungle plants in Belize. Seems like it's like he's definitely a dude who likes attention. Like it was pretty easy to get him to come on the podcast and talk.

There must be part of him that's enjoying a little bit of this notoriety he's experiencing here. Or he just wants to make us and everybody know about it kind of like a news type thing because the more people know about it, if he does get caught, people are going to be like, what? Oh yeah, no doubt that too. No doubt that

too. The whole thing is, I mean, the fact that he wouldn't see how it being a personality piece would lead people to pay more attention to it. He's smiling with this fucking gun in his hand, looking straight at the camera. By the way, it's not just one photo of him like that. If you look at the photos of him online, like the first three, if you look under his McAfee photo images, the first three are of look under his mcafee photo images the first three are of him

topless with guns yeah he's quite a character though man i would have loved to have hung out with him before all this he seems like a fun guy to talk to i bet you get a little drunk with him he's got some great stories okay you know that's that thing that people talk about like doing that go down to small island country somewhere and just live out my life just ride my boat around and living right by the water but how many people actually fucking do that very few you have to be some special kind of weird motherfucker to actually go through with that. Become an expat and just kick back on the beach

and not even know people there. I don't know. It's kind of cool that we got to talk to him. It was one of the things that I was saying yesterday when we were talking to Shane Smith. One of the selfish reasons for starting this podcast is I want to have conversations with these people. I want to have conversations with guys like Dave Asprey. I can't just get them to have a conversation with me.

But to have a conversation where you broadcast it, all of a sudden it's fairly easy to get a hold of people. It seems like that would be the opposite. People would be less likely to talk for you for hours on end if they knew it was being broadcast. But seems like that would be the opposite. Like people would be less likely to talk for you for hours on end if they knew it was being broadcast. But actually, that's not the case. Dennis McKenna's coming on the podcast soon. The brother of Terrence McKenna. He's got a book out about his time with his brother.

And by all accounts, it's a pretty badass book. And we'll probably have mitch schultz will be joining him who is the producer of dmt the spirit molecule so we'll talk science psychedelic compounds and his brother the great terence mckenna and dennis is a fascinating guy too he had a well i don't want to tell the story, but there's some great accounts of his own psychedelic experiences that maybe he'll get into. He had some fairly psychotic episode where I think he lost his sanity for a couple weeks. Off of DMT? No, off of mushrooms.

Oh, geez. In the Amazon. Yeah, it's supposed to be a pretty intense story. Hopefully he'll tell it to us good terrence talked about it in depth in some of his books um and then we got duncan trussell uh tomorrow and um eddie bravo on thursday and the next two hopefully will be in the new studio if we could figure out a way to work out that fucking shit bag internet connection you would think that in this day and age there would be more options that every every building there is option i bet you there is options there i think i think i might have to get like a t3 line i just need to call

time warner or the other one i don't know my my business manager saying that they're having a hard time following finding business manager also said dso gotL. Well, they got me DSL because that was the only option available. Yeah, but you can't even do a studio on DSL. I mean, he should be like, wait, look. He doesn't know what a studio entails. How does he know? How the fuck are they supposed to know? I'm saying these guys should know.

Well, how should... DSL is the most important thing on a studio. But if you say, if it's the fastest internet you have, they go, okay, we'll take it. And then you get it, and it sucks a fat dick. You don't know until you try it like most people have no idea like i didn't know it wouldn't be adequate if you said three megabytes download i'd be like all right that sounds good i didn't know that it's like double a t1 line a t1 is like 1.5 megabytes we have 120 gig download here and you had a three yeah our upload here is i think 40 meg upload you had

less than one less than one yeah that's whack weak ass bitches you gotta fix it at&t u-verse get a fat pipe to my office or heads will roll no actually i'll just cancel i need to find um what all the options are as far as like like dedicated lines like when they do an isdn line when someone has to um uh like do the radio i know like people who have radio studios they have like a dedicated line i'm pretty sure that kind of shit's not as good as no it's not it's terrible but i'm saying i wonder if they can do that with like a t1 or a T3 not a T1 T1's not good enough

but like a T3 line or something like that you just need fiber that's all you need they don't have it though they have cable not in my area not in the area

where my office is no AT&T doesn't no one does how do you know that because they've looked they just sent me an email explaining all the different shit that they don't have

no cable no this no that they don't expect no no cable no this no that they don't expect people to want like anything better than this in those areas most people their regular businesses just involve sending emails so you're saying that that they're for sure there's no cable or there's no fiber through it's time warmer or any of the other companies time warmer time warner or at&t or yeah no Charter. No. Those fucks. That seems impossible.

Yeah, it seems like it. But it's true. If that's true, you're screwed. I'm fucked. But cellular, 4G cellular is not good enough. No, no. Don't even think of 4G. And it would eat up the bandwidth.

That's a cell phone. Ladies and gentlemen out there listening, surely you must have some sort of a fucking solution. Move your office. I can't. Ow. Shit. That would suck that

was the one thing i had told you i was like before you get it make sure they have fast internet that's the most important thing yep they said they did those fucks we'll work it out freaks we'll work it out oh my god i don't believe your business manager it's not their fault i don't believe it no i don't believe them you don't have to i don't believe them. You don't have to. I believe that there's... Well, we'll get off the phone and we'll figure it out, okay? Get off the phone. We'll get off the line. Anything else you want to add? This weekend, we're going to be in Austin, Texas.

That should be a fucking blast. It's a quick weekend. In and out, you freaks. And then next weekend, I am... The following weekend, we're in Seattle at the, what the fuck is the name of the comedy club? The Poller Live. That's it. It's in Bellevue, Washington. I emailed you about that.

Did you put that on the tour? I haven't checked my email. Check your email, son. Do you check your email? I'm starting not to check my email now. Like voicemail died recently for me. I don't, or regular mail. I don't do regular mail anymore. Voicemails, I don't like listening to voicemail died recently for me i don't or regular mail i don't do regular

mail anymore voicemails i don't like listening to voicemails now like if i have a voicemail my phone i don't even look at it and now recently email i just i'm like giving up on really like i don't know man i i like email it's too much it is too much though after a while it gets crazy you uh too much shit too much i don't. No, I know what you're talking about, man. It's just overwhelming how much shit you can get thrown at you that you have to pay attention to. That was one of the best things about going camping is that for five days, no phone calls, no emails, no nothing. You know? Yeah.

It's one of the nicest things to have like a little break a little reset like i actually looked forward to getting emails after that my new favorite thing on the phone i don't know if you've used this on the iphone is the uh do not disturb uh so at night you just click on this do not disturb uh button no phone calls no texts but you still have like internet you know and shit like that but it's Wow. Because I would be getting phone calls. I would set my alarm to wake me up, and then I would get a phone call at 2 in the morning. I'd be like, oh, what the fuck, and it would wake me up.

Or somebody would send me a stupid text at 6 in the morning. So that's what Do Not Disturb is? Yeah, it just turns everything off. But everything still comes in, so it's not like you have it on airplane mode. Right. It doesn't give you any warnings just it doesn't ever doesn't give you any warnings it doesn't yeah it just turns all that shit off does it still light up

like does it get brighter um i think it depends on you see i have all text messages turned off all notifications turned off on my phone everything turned off on my phone now i don't even like a window popping up because i was just getting like you you know, too in too much trouble when I was dating, you know, like there'd be like a text that pop up like, Hey, what are you doing tonight, honey?

And then they're like, Oh, who's this? You know, right. It was just getting me in too much trouble. So do not disturb as a way out of that. Yeah.

Well, I just turn off all notifications. So like if I get a text, I know I'm, I'm about to, are you, are you getting that way at all? Like I'm,

I'm starting to like, I don't want, like I'm turning into Joey Diaz. Like I'm about to. Are you getting that way at all? Like, I'm starting, like, I don't want, like, I'm turning into Joey Diaz. Like, I'm going backwards. I want to get just a pager. Well, there's something to be said for not, you know, when you're constantly interacting with people all day long, you have no time to reflect. Right. You have no time to think for yourself. Right. You're just constantly dealing with other people's requests for, you know, hey, I got a question.

Hey, what's up? Hey, what's going on? What are you doing? you doing you want to do this you want to do that what's the plan and constantly can you call me i got this going on and after a while it's like you you if you're in the loop of communicating with a bunch of different people all the time you're constantly responding to things yeah text messages like sometimes i'll get in this like text message thing where like three dudes are texting me at the same time and so like you're texting them trying to answer questions or talk to them about shit and it's like and then another one comes in from the other guy and then you hit that and like how many times do you banter back and forth to and it's with girls are brutal yeah if you got in a fight with a girl over a text message and they're just writing

paragraph after paragraph and you have to like respond to it you have to like go back and read and then write and then when you're done she has another paragraph loaded and ready at least you could do is email me you crazy bitch writing in a text form is rude and you know and by the way that's what you're doing for the next few hours good luck with that you know instead of having a phone call or meeting person to person and talking this shit out. Oh my God, you said... Drama for your mama. Yeah.

There's got to be a way out of this, Brian. There's got to be a way to positive thinking. It's got to be. It's got to be. Well, the website shows a lot of white people holding hands. Perfect. And that's what I want to do. I want to hold hands with white people and walk on the beach and i want to have no shoes on and be relaxed enough to be staring at the

water through my toes with my 17 year old hottie yeah while on bath salts allegedly according to gizmodo i i feel like i trust john mcafee how that? Had a conversation with him. He was a hell of a nice guy. I detected no hint of bath salts in our conversation. Shit felt legit. I felt like he was really there with me. And you know what? He's got a good point about those cops making a dollar an hour. Maybe if someone paid him $20 an hour,

they wouldn't have shot that guy 14 times in a van. He should just fucking pay all the cops. It's so stupid. Well, I think he tried to do do that i think he had his own sort of an army and i think he had a and that's you know one of the things they try to stop compounds and governments before they start so when you start seeing a dude accumulate dogs and guns and you want to move in send a fucking sniff troop into the uh meth lab see what's being cooked up there, legal or illegal. All right. But this MDPV stuff, not legal in America anymore, but legal in Belize.

Although it doesn't matter because that's not what he was doing, right? No. He was researching. Yeah. So they have a picture of this plane thing. It's pretty crazy. It really does look like a motorcycle with a kite on the top of it. And his nephew died in this thing with a 61-year-old passenger.

They had been flying in clean, smooth air with plenty of altitude mcafee told me when suddenly they went into a spiral dive and crashed into the ground the terrain was so rugged that the sheriff's deputies took a helicopter to the top of the ridge and hiked down to retrieve the bodies leaving the wreckage where it lay wow sounds like it's dangerous as fuck but it's dangerous as fuck to do a lot of shit. Skydiving is dangerous as fuck. Those body suits. Have you ever seen that video where the guy's on that wingsuit and he crashes?

Yeah. Ooh, that looks horrifying. Those wingsuits are horrifying to begin with. That guy's fucked up, too. I mean, I think he broke, like, every bone in his body. He lived. But you're flying but you're, you're, you're flying, you know, like who knows, like it's like a hundred miles an hour or

something. It's pretty crazy how fast those things go. And you clip the ground and you just go for a mad tumble, but that's legal. Can't sue anything. Anybody for that? Can't sue anybody for hand gliding. I don't think unless you rent a fucking hand glide and it snaps in half. Then maybe your family can sue the rental company for not maintaining it. But if you die in a hand gliding accident because of some crazy wind situation... You're lucky you're not addicted

to video games anymore because I got something that you would go crazy on. What? It's a suitcase. And when you open it up, and it's travel approved, when you open it up and it's travel approved when you open it up there's a 19 inch monitor a sound system there's lights you put your xbox in there

your ps3 and this is the star wars xbox but and you just try you travel with it the sound is loud it's it's got light like blue lights all around it so at night it glows. It's 1080p. It's games. That looks incredible. What is it called? It's games all in one. I have a YouTube video of it. See, the problem with all that shit is that if you're going to play a fucking game,

you should have the most accurate input devices. And when you're playing games and you have those stupid... For the games that you're used to playing. Yeah. But see, these games are designed not for a mouse and keyboard. They're designed for the controller. But you don't get as much accuracy. Why would you not want a mouse and a keyboard?

Once you play with a mouse and a keyboard... Oh, you have it there? Is that it? Yeah, this is it right here. Did they send you one of these things? No, I bought it. I bought it for the studio because we do so many video game uh podcasts at death squad that i was like we should have a unit here so we can play video games and show people do you have it here right now no i didn't bring it today what

the fuck it's a video of you playing with it so um how many games did you play on this i've only been playing call of duty and i haven't even been doing playing much because i've been busy and how does it look it's awesome it looks great it's great it's got two headphone uh jacks in the front of it so you can you know play online and you know have your own headphones plugged in and uh it's it's great it has an hdmi port in it so like if you wanted to you can also hook like a ps3 or a nintendo wii or whatever uh you can hook it up to a television. Yeah. And they have a 15-inch version that they sell at Best Buy and stuff. This is their new 19-inch Halo Special Edition version. It's the first time they have a 19-inch monitor in it,

stuff like that. But I have a video showing it. If you go to YouTube.com backslash Let's Find Jesus. Let's Find Jesus is just all my tech review shit that I do. I'll do the team phone service. Does anybody ever get pissed at your YouTube name? Let's Find Jesus is just all my tech review shit that I do. I'll do the team phone surveys. Does anybody ever get pissed at your YouTube name? Let's Find Jesus? No, but I think they were more pissed at Let'sFindJesus.com.

Why? Because it was a website that sells religious things that I made a long time ago when me and McAfee used to troll people. Let's find Jesus.com. Does it sell things? Yeah. What does it sell? Like Jesus's hair?

Yeah. Jesus's hair from the barber shop. This is black Jesus. Jesus stealing a baby drawing that it's a, it's a painting of Jesus stealing a baby. And you sell these? No, I've never sold one actually, but it's been on here for...

Are they actually for sale, though? I guess if somebody bought it. No, they're not for sale. No. Yeah, what the fuck, dude? Don't say that. What was the mix CD? Jesus' mix CD?

It's a bunch of songs I wrote about a long time ago about Jesus and Mary and Noah. noah is this the sex line no no don't don't forget to bring the lovebirds oh this is uh this is uh don't forget to bring the lovebirds on the boat noah for mary play it no it's embarrassing play it no it's you play it play it play it and there's a lot like there's a. There's a ton of remix versions. There are other songs? Yeah. Or is that the same song? It's remix versions of that. Of the same theme? Yeah. It's so stupid. You know, by the way, that's not any more ridiculous than any of the songs I hear on one of those serious XF, XM, like the Coffeehouse.

Oh, right, right. Half of those fucking really emo songs. Check this out. This is another thing I just reviewed. This is the Logitech Wi-Fi webcam. And what it does is it connects to your wi-fi network and then you have a wireless webcam and it has a button on it that you push that automatically starts streaming the ustream so ustream has partnered with these guys i guess somehow but it's it's like this just it has a

a tripod with a magnet on it so you can rotate it all around which is it's also a case but it's just a wireless webcam so if you're on the same wi-Fi network, if you're on a Wi-Fi network, you can carry this whole thing around your whole house, and you have a wireless webcam. It's got like a three-hour battery life. Does it have a microphone? It's got a microphone. It's got a light on the front of it.

Holy shit. It's carrying case, which I'm showing right now. You take it out, and it doubles as a tripod. And it also has a magnet on it, so the magnet is for the tilting and stuff like that. It also has a hook so you can screw it onto a tripod. And it's got really good quality. It's HD webcam. That's amazing.

What is it called? It's the Logitech Broadcaster Wi-Fi. And it's super Mac-friendly. It's actually designed more for Mac almost than a PC. Suck it, Windows. Yeah, and so I have a video also on the Let's Find Jesus YouTube channel. Dude, that sounds like something we need to get a hold of. I have one right there.

We need to use that shit. Well, I think for what we do, it wouldn't really benefit. I don't know. I'm still playing with it because we already have video cameras and mixers here. Yeah, but not here. I mean like at shows. Oh, yeah. For shows, if we can get on the Wi-Fi network or bring a hotspot maybe.

We should start doing that. Maybe we should do that this weekend in Austin. Maybe we should broadcast in Austin from the green room before the show. It's going to be you, me, and Duncan and Aubrey from Onnit.com is going to be there. Oh, snap. We're going to have a good time. Yes. Oh, snap, you dirty going to have a good time. Yes. Oh, snap, you dirty bitches.

I forgot that we're in Austin. Yeah, this weekend, man. Saturday night. Oh, I forgot Aubrey lived there. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah, we're going to have a good fucking time.

Fuck yeah. And we've got to go to this barbecue place that everybody waits in line all day for. It's supposed to be ridiculous. Aubrey said they would hire someone to go wait in line,

but the problem with that is then you don't get it fresh. You want to get it, like, right as it comes off the grill. The only way to do that is you have to wait in line for, like, an hour and a half. Oh, fuck that. No, I don't want that. It's a crazy wait. Dude, let's go eat our own. Let's make our own.

No, you don't know what you're doing. I don't care. You're barbecuing skills. I'm not waiting an hour and a half for some barbecue. It's supposed to be unbelievable. Ari Shaffir said it was so good after you waited in line an hour and a half it was worth it. Anything's good if you i'm not waiting an hour and a half for from barbecue it's supposed to be unbelievable ari shafir said it was so good after you waited in line an hour and a half it was worth it anything's good if you wait in line for an hour and a half that's why anytime you uh your wife cooks for you it's always good because you had to sit there and wait two

hours instead of two minutes for putting a lean pocket in the microwave you were like all right i just had to sit here and smell the whole cooking process of the food of course i'm gonna love your food i don't know what i'm talking about food. I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, you definitely don't know what you're talking about. Poor fool. So we'll see you guys tomorrow. We have nothing else to say to each other. We will be doing a Just Brian and Joe Only podcast, though, to celebrate our 300th podcast.

I think we've done that with every 100, right? Oh, no, we tried to do one with Duncan. Yeah, we did one with Duncan last time. Yeah. But the 100th and now the 300th. It's kind of crazy. This is our third year doing this. This month, next month, marks our third year doing this podcast.

Yeah, it's crazy. Ridiculous. How the fuck did that happen? Time just flew up. Remember when you were like back in the day we would make fun of December 21st 2012

dude it's gonna be the end of the world cause it didn't seem like it was real didn't seem like that date was ever gonna come that shit's this month son it's almost December 1st December 1st on Saturday 20 days later

end of the Mayan calendar are you ready nah shit you ain't ready you're not ready for do shit. You ain't ready. You're not ready for doomsday. You ain't a prepper. Did you watch Prepping?

You ever watch that? Prepping? Prepping? No. Oh, it's a good show to watch. It's one of my new things I watch. Prepping. These nutty bitches canning peaches and fucking stuffing them under their bed.

One guy, he shot his thumb. He had a fucking, his gun misfired. His thumb started bleeding and he fainted like you fucking pussy you think you're gonna last through the fucking apocalypse and you can't even deal with a little blood loss you faint like a bitch because your thumb's bleeding how dare you how dare you be on doomsday preppers with that bitch-ass attitude there was one couple that was really religious, and they were buying a lot of alcohol.

And like, we don't even drink alcohol, but we're going to need it for bartering and also to construct Molotov cocktails in case we're attacked. And so then they were practicing with the Molotov cocktails. Like, they had, like, these rocks, and they would light the fucking thing. You know what a Molotov cocktail is, folks. It's you take a thing of high-proof alcohol, and you stuff like a rag in it, and you get it all wet with the alcohol,

and then you light the rag and throw it, and it explodes in flames. These fucking dummies are standing there throwing glasses of vodka at the rocks and burst them into flames. Yeah, this is a good weapon. Meanwhile, they have fucking guns. They have, like, huge caches of guns,

huge safes filled with machine guns. They have, like, ankle holsters on, and this is right next to my dick. I keep a gun next to my dick, one next to my ankle. Like, they're, like, completely prepped, and every month they go to the supermarket and they go to, like, Costco's and places like that and stock up on

supplies so they can be better prepared like they have a budget of every month where they'll buy like guns and bullets and water and fucking bananas man bananas to watch when the apocalypse comes you gotta really you gotta really wonder whether or not you want to make it through. Someone had to do that in the past. Because everything was the apocalypse when we were monkeys. Okay? Every day was the apocalypse. You know?

You had to fucking go out and scrounge for food. There was no supermarkets. There's no internet. There's no electricity. Essentially, Mad Max was way better than the way the monkeys lived at least mad max had a car okay the apocalypse you know being like that road warrior type scenario that ain't shit compared to what it definitely used to be and somebody had to get through that to get to here they had to get through that to get to here but But the problem is, once you're already here, very tough to go back to caveman days.

Very tough to scrounge out a living eating dead people that you find under a fucking overpass because that's the only meat you can bring home to your family. Jesus Christ. You gotta wonder whether or not you want to make it through that. Like, what's the end game in that sort of scenario?

If an asteroid hits, you really want it to hit you. Like, it through that like what's the end game in that sort of scenario if an asteroid hits you really wanted to hit you like just land right on you it's fucking let's try this again what are you doing over there surfing the web no i'm looking at just reading that porn or uh the porn industry is uh suing verizon for protecting pirates and i i was just like wow verizon's standing up for the the pirates that's crazy huh the porn industry is uh were they saying that people are stealing them like on bit torrent and stuff like that stealing their videos they're saying that verizon is refusing to comply with court-ordered subpoenas and the porn studios see it is more than that or They just want the names of people

that are torrenting the shit, and I guess Verizon's not playing along. That's funny, because they play along with the record industry. Right. Does Verizon play along with them? I don't know. Some people don't.

Some people send out messages, but they won't actively... There's not a lot for them. The internet companies and going after people that are pirates, it's almost like you've got to figure that shit out on your own. They're in the business of providing internet service. One of the things that people want to do with that internet service is download shit. For you to start peering into what they're downloading.

You know that mega upload scenario. You know what's going on with that. And you know that mega upload scenario. You know what's going on with that. That guy, Kim.com, he was famous in the early days of the internet. He used to be a hacker and then became a computer securities expert and apparently made a fuckload of money. And he used to have this blog. He takes all these crazy pictures of him in front of his yacht

and chilling in Brazil and flying in his private jet to this place and he's got this ridiculous mansion where he lives in in new zealand and he's embroiled in this huge uh legal battle because of mega upload.com which was his uh website that was accused of uh hosting pirated material. And apparently the government, like, according to Kim.com, he complied with every request the government had for taking things down and that they actually asked him to not take these certain files down. And those are the ones that they wound up charging him for because they asked him to not do it because they were trying to track it or something like that. So he's saying that they acted in bad faith

in organizing their evidence against him. As I understand it, I might have fucked that argument up. But it's kind of interesting that this guy is like this super rich geek who is trying to keep file sharing alive and keep these upload sites alive. And now he's making one where everyone else can contribute bandwidth and storage. So somehow or another. And they're offering one-click encryption on the fly for free for all data.

So it's really going to be interesting to see where this goes because if this guy can figure out how to do that, what can these record industry people and what can these movie industry people do about that? Because what he's saying is that

there's data on his site that shows that when mega upload was was uh shut down that it actually hurt box office numbers that it doesn't hurt movie like huge blockbuster movies like you know mission impossible type shit it doesn't hurt them but it hurts the box offices of more obscure movies who would be heard about and and transferred and uh and and talked about through the internet and that people would hear about it because of other people downloading them and that would actually cause more people to go out and buy and see it which is which is you know sort of the that's the attitude that most comics take is that having anything of yours that's out on the internet

it's the more that's out there the better because then people will hear about you and they'll be able to uh go out and get your stuff that's why very few comics remove like mp3s for copyright violation it's like they're happy if anybody's listening because then more people listen to your future shit yeah it's an interesting argument, you know, as far as what's copywritten and what's not and what hurts and what's doesn't when someone's got a fucking movie theater in their house though, that's when shit hurts.

Like you have a, you have essentially have a movie theater in your house now. Dude, my new shit is a movie theater in my house. I've been watching so much shit, uh, on that thing. And like,

I could see it being like, I saw Wreck-It Ralph the other day and I went to one it being like i saw wreck it ralph the other day and i went to one of those movie theaters where like it was in a small room where the the the screen was about the same size as the screen that now i have in my house i just take took one wall of my living room and pretty much made it a movie theater screen and the projectors are so good nowadays that that they're hd that it it's like you don't need uh this this projector screen was 200 the projector was 700 and that right there is better i don't have any reason to go to a movie theater now you know yeah if you could just get the movies directly what why can't they do that why can't they just charge? How about iTunes?

Do it through that. Think about this. If you go to the movies, how much does it cost to go to the movies? It's like $10 now or something? It's like $13 a ticket. Where are you going? Charge me $50. Charge me $50 so I can watch it with the whole family.

Charge me $50. They do that kind of like Bobcats movies and Kevin Smith's movie, Red State. You could get before it even came out in movie theaters. Yeah, well, Kevin Smith did was beautiful. Yeah, that was the right way to do it. That's very smart. You know, he's aware of his sort of his community. You know, he can do something like that.

I hope he made money off that. Oh, of course he did. It's a good fucking movie. Yeah. It's a good fucking movie. Yeah. It's a good fucking movie. That movie was really well done. And Stephen King, or Steve Root, rather,

was amazing in it. He's amazing in that Boardwalk Empire. I just started watching that. Dude, that show's fucking, that show's good, dude. Yeah. There's too many goddamn good shows.

Yeah. Everybody's like, you gotta watch Mad Men. Fuck you, I do. I do want to watch Mad Men men that's on my list of things i want to watch mad men just for that girl with the big tits yes she had some big titties big titties she's a real woman huh yeah that's rare that you see like a big voluptuous sexy pl. You're talking about the one with the redhead? Yes. She's plump as fuck. She's one of... Yeah.

Yeah. Big old titties. You know what? Tell me. Those are redonkulous, right? Redonkulous. Yeah, that's... Is that what women ever looked like? No, you can't say that.

That's a rare specimen. You can't claim that that's how they all looked back in the 20s. But you can't... That show, Breaking Bad, you know, with Game of Thrones coming back Walking Dead

I keep hearing that too that's the problem have you not done Walking Dead only the first couple episodes it was good but dude there's not that much time

oh that's the other thing I started watching is fucking Homeland oh yeah I started that with season one dude that's good that show's good

it's not what I thought it was either I thought it was like CSI type stupidity. Is that the Titanic bitch girl? Claire Danes? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. I think you're thinking of a different girl.

I think so. Yeah. I don't think. What is her name? Is that her name, Claire Danes? Claire Danes is a Titanic girl. I thought she was in that. Or maybe I'm thinking of somebody else.

I don't think Claire Danes is a Titanic girl. The Titanic girl was a little plumper no that's claire danes you know are you sure titanic uh yeah let's see yep no her no no yeah no i don't think so kate winslet yes there you go claire danes is the one who's in this fucking, this new show, though. I was thinking of Romeo and Juliet. She was in Claire Danes with Leonardo DiCaprio. That was a good movie back in the day. Yeah, she's been in a bunch of movies.

She's good, man. She plays a good crazy bitch, too. She was in Les Miserables. How do you say that? Les Miserables. Les Miserables. She was in that. She's a Les Miserables she was in that she's a serious actress

that uh she's good in Homeland it's a good fucking show dude disturbing though makes you wonder about how much of this is ripped from the headlines based on a true story

but he uh that guy's a badass actor whoever the fuck he is who plays the other guy um whatever whatever anything to end should we bring this bitch home yeah actor, whoever the fuck he is, who plays the other guy. Whatever. Anything to end? Should we bring this bitch home?

Yeah. Death Squad's coming to San Diego, 12-12-12. Who? Who are these people? I don't know yet. I know Sarah Tiana's going to be on there, Tony Hinchcliffe. There's been a few other people that said that they want to come, but I haven't really. I'm going to reschedule it this week.

December 12th is still a couple weeks away, folks. There's been a few other people that said that they want to come, but I haven't really. I'm going to reschedule it this week. December 12th is still a couple weeks away, folks. So what you need to do is just prepare yourself for that night. Keep checking Twitter. We will build the anticipation. Yes. Hopefully I can make it down there for that one. Such a great round.

Yeah. I got a lot of shit going on right now. There's a – well, I can't really talk about that in the air. Good stuff, though, folks. So this weekend, that's it. Moody Theater, Austin, Texas. Next week, Pauler Live in Bellevue, Washington with Powerful Sam Tripoli. And then the Wiltern Theater, December 21, 2012, the End of the World show with Honey Honey, Doug Stanhope, Joey motherfucking Diaz, and moi.

And that should be pretty crazy. That's going to be a fun show. And no, the world's not going to end. Relax. We're going to be fine. Hopefully. Who knows? It might not be real.

It might not be real. Right, Brian? Feel like it's not real? Definitely not real. Simulation theory, you're 100% on board now? Yeah. Super simulation theory. What was the tipping point that really made you think this world's not real? Well, if you think of it as if it is a simulation theory what became what was the tipping point that really made you think this

this world's not real well if you think of it as if it is a simulation theory and then you start going all right this is hilarious you know somewhere i'm playing on an iphone 77 and this is just like because there's just too many things that are like all right that's ridiculous that that just happened that's ridiculous that that just happened, I think. So I don't believe in it, but I'm acting like I do believe in it and just looking at life through that perspective. And it really does seem, if you just spend like the next week acting like everything is a simulation, like don't jump in front of buildings or cars or buildings. You could jump in front of buildings, but don't jump in front of cars. But if you think of it as it's a simulation it's ridiculous and then so what i've been also adding to it that asians are the ones that are like kind

of babysitting us in the simulation so if you if you talk about the simulation too much you'll you'll out of nowhere an asian will come around the corner and just stare at you like like oh wait a minute that's why are the asians i don't know. Are the Asians aliens? Huh? Do you think Asians are aliens? No, I think Asians are like the babysitters of us in the simulation, I think. You've got to be very careful when you talk about any race. Isn't it funny?

Like, Asian people could get pissed off at that. They could be like, what the fuck, dude? You know? Yeah, because they're security. They're mad. You're not supposed to talk about the simulation. Is that what it is? Or is it you're not supposed to talk about any race at all?

Right. Even if you're saying positive things, like the aliens might be more advanced than us, and they have more alien DNA in Asian people. You can't say that, because that's making Asian people better, but they'll still get upset. You're not even allowed to talk about them. People are so fucking sensitive, Brian. I had something weird happen to me the other day. Have you ever had where I was laying down?

You might have this in the isolation tank, but maybe. I was laying down, and I had my eyes closed, and I was looking at the images in my eye, like on my eyelids. Sometimes you see little things floating around. Sometimes you might see little things floating around sometimes you might see like little things moving and stuff but i had full-on motion video like a person talking somewhere like to somebody else like full-on like movement like 100 frames per second like it was like i was watching somebody talk it wasn't a memory because a memory you you think of something and you're like oh yeah we were there, and then we were talking.

This was actually watching somebody talk, like in full video, but it was like just the outline in my eyelid. I found that trippy. Pfft. So you're saying... I found that trippy. So you're saying you were hallucinating?

I was hallucinating. Obviously, your eyes closed. But it wasn't like the guy was tripping and melting and turning into a snake or anything. It was like somebody just sitting there having a conversation with somebody. But it was full motion, like as if I was watching somebody. Like if I were to open my eyes and there was somebody standing there doing it, then I'd be like, okay, that makes sense. But there was no one there.

And it was like, you don't think, like I don't dream like that. I don't, like if I think about somebody running, I can kind of see them running in my head, but this was like full on motion video. Like it was weird. You've done enough drugs that you've broken your brain. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Is that possible? Or I was somehow spying on a different part in the world of the simulation. I was hacking through the firewalls. That could be it too. That could be it too. You never, yeah,

you have to figure out like what real is and what's not real. Right. What if, you know, they were like the, the reality that we exist in, you know, the,

one of the more attractive parts of the simulation theory thing is that I do think that thoughts and I do think that intention can move life in a certain way. I think it's flexible.

I think the world that we live in is a lot more flexible than we'd like to think. And our rigid interpretation of things as being like, the only things that are real are things you can weigh or measure or knock on i don't think so man i think there's some uh some fucking weirdness to it all so the idea of a simulation theory sort of comes into play because there's certain things that do get manifested with the mind there's certain people that sort

of almost are like extras in a movie. There are certain events that almost are like peripheral non-events that you could choose to pay attention to or not pay attention to in the background. But your main focus, your life, the things that's going on in your

world, you have a little bit of control over it. You've got a little bit of wiggle room there. It's not as simple as, you know, drive one mile and you're a mile away from where you were. It has to do more with where you are is in your head a little bit. And when you're traveling and when you're going places, you're bringing your world to these other places and influencing it when you when you go to starbucks when you when you get in your house you're bringing your world everywhere you go and i don't know how much of what goes on outside your world really involves you there might be a bunch of different parallel worlds intersecting with each other all the time

we're just only able to perceive the shit that we consider to be our world we're told deja vu is our mind thinking of something before it's actually done like like if you go into a room your brain actually thinks of something like a micro micro microsecond before you actually think of it and so it feels like deja vu that's what scientists are saying but what if that is something like no we've been in this simulation before we've been in the situation before but last time we died in a fucking motorcycle accident this time we're doing it again you know like it could be this is also the ideas that every thought you make there's this this is one of the weirdest uh theories that i've ever heard about reality every decision you make every direction you choose to go in

branches you off into a completely separate area of the universe. And it creates an entirely new universe with new possibilities and new probabilities. It's like one of the things they used to say about time travel is you could never really go back in time because if you did, you could affect the reality of just by existing in the past. You could affect the future so much that you might never have been born. You could really fuck up the possibilities for everything. Like you could throw a ripple into the wave. Well, the idea is that you sort of do that with every decision you make and every direction you move in.

And that not only is that possibility a reality, but that all the other possibilities are alternate realities that you don't experience but you could have made every wrong choice every possible choice and they all branch off into completely new universes and that all these things are going on together at the same time and then when you're having a deja vu you're almost like crisscrossing with your possible worlds and you have like a blip in the matrix, a blip in time. Yeah. We know what we can measure.

We know that when you get in the car and you hit the gas, you know exactly how fast you go, you look at the speedometer. But what we don't know is what we're not measuring. Weird feelings between people. You think about someone, they call. There's weird shit that we don't understand,

that we don't measure and so we kind of like push it under the mattress and but that shit is tangible the feeling that you get when someone doesn't like you you know like if you ever been around someone like especially if you're around like a girl and her friend doesn't like you and you don't even have to like say a word you just feel it yeah you feel, what the fuck's going on here? That's a real energy being passed back and forth. And that can really affect your life. If that person's in your life, that gross feeling now becomes a part of your reality.

It actually shapes your possibilities. I don't know I think I think we're learning a lot about reality about what you can and can't do to influence it what you can and can't do

to shape it we're learning a lot about it by doing this fucking show we're changing reality Brian do you know that a lot of people

their realities are being changed because of this show they get access to different ideas now. They don't exist. They don't exist? I think they do.

I think we don't exist. How about that? How about that? How about we have been created by other people's imaginations to rescue them from South Dakota? How about that? Could be. In their world, you don't exist.

What the fuck kind of hippie bullshit is this, folks? This is no way to end a sensible podcast with the great john mcafee on the run in belize this has been a wonderful experience i'm glad you came along with us on this little magical mystery tour we will be back tomorrow uh looks like we got to do tomorrow fairly early, like noon-ish, with the great Duncan Trussell. I've got some shit I've got to do in the afternoon. So that will be tomorrow's podcast. And then Thursday, the one and only Eddie motherfucking Bravo.

And that will also be around the same time, which is 12-ish p.m. Pacific time, you fucking freaks. And both of those will be done with shitty internet. So good luck trying to watch it on Ustream. But we'll have it up on iTunes, and we'll eventually get that internet thing figured out, even if I have to call our congressman. I have to get Joe Biden on the phone. We're gonna straighten this out if I need to make a donation.

We're gonna work it out, folks. We're gonna keep it together. We're gonna make it grow. We're all on this freak ride together. Anything to say, Brian? grow. We're all on this freak ride together. Anything to say, Brian? Anything to add to all those beautiful people out there? Suck it! Hollywood Improv, December 20th.

American Comedy Co. in San Diego. 12-12-12. Okay. You heard it all there, you fucks. We'll see you. Brian will be with me and the great Duncan Trussell this Saturday night in Austin, Texas at the Moody Theater. Alright, you fucks. We love the shit out see you. Brian will be with me and the great Duncan Trussell this Saturday night in Austin, Texas at the Moody Theater. All right, you fucks. We love the shit out of you.

We never anticipated any of this happening, and we're enjoying every step of the way. And we love the fuck out of you. We'll see you soon. Bye-bye. Thank you.