The Joe Rogan Experience - #297 - Dom Irrera

Episode Date: December 13, 2012

Joe sits down with Dom Irrera.

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. If one hour into the podcast, Brian becomes a bundle of energy and super duper talkative, it may or may not be because he got a hold of some provigil. Providul? Providul. May or may not be. I need that.

What's that? It's some stuff that keeps you awake. I was just told to take it. I don't need that. The way you looked at me like, or may not be. I need that. What's that? Some stuff that keeps you awake. I was told to take it. I don't need that. The way you looked at me like, oh, boy, I don't need that. Like, that's one of the worst things you could ever do to me, Joe. Fuck, yeah. That's the thing about comedians, man.

We love to get our sleep on. Well, I mean, speed would kill me. Yeah. I like downs. I like tranquilizers. If I was going to do any drug, I would do heroin. From what they say, it feels like. Robert Schimel told me he accidentally took Adderall once.

I guess he thought it was one of his pills after he had his heart condition. He had cancer. He had cancer, yeah. He had cancer. And he had a heart condition as well, right? He was having heart problems. I don't know. Whatever he was on, whatever medication he was on,

he accidentally took someone else's Adderall. Well, he was worried, but his doctor said he would be okay. He said, what's the pill that you took? How many milligrams? You're going to be fine. It's just going to take a while. Just go get things done. So he went and run it around his house.

He said he organized his office. He said he organized all of his notes and put them in alphabetical order. He was doing shit that he would never do without it. It makes you think, man, if you could manage that correctly, if you were confident that you could manage that Adderall stuff, it seems like you'd get a lot of shit done on that. Your coffee gets me high. Oh, it definitely does.

Yeah, I mean, especially Starbucks. I mean, that's why this stuff is everywhere. Everybody's addicted to this stuff. How fucked up was that last night? I had two drinks, and I why, especially Starbucks. I mean, that's why this stuff is everywhere. Everybody's addicted to this stuff. How fucked up was that last night? I had two drinks, and I couldn't interview you. You couldn't interview me. We were fun. It was fun.

I had fun, but I had to think. You know, usually, I mean, with you, it's like just flows. But I'm telling you, the two drinks affected me. Ever since I said I stopped drinking, and I started... I thought you stopped drinking. I did. But I do. I stopped drinking, and then I have a couple drinks every night almost to celebrate my sobriety.

And that's what happens. I get higher because I don't drink as much. And I had those two Irish coffees. I was fucking fucked. How many days a week are you back to drinking? Seven. Right away. I actually didn't uh i didn't drink on monday and i told my god my goddaughter who

lives with me i go you know i quit drinking again she said uh it's only tuesday you drank sunday i hung over the whole day so yeah it's a tough one yeah i usually stop drinking on hangovers you you did really well for uh several months three months, yeah. And then what happened? I don't know. Can you check me those keys, Dom? Sorry. Those keys are on that table. I know I won't forget them.

You just missed it? I missed it. I missed the fun. And you know, one of the girls at the Laugh Factory, a friend of mine, she said to me, she called me like basically a pussy. A friend of mine, Julianne. She says, what are you, are you going to have a couple drinks with me tonight? Are you going to show me a chip for how long it's been since you quit drinking?

You know what I mean? Wow, what a friend. I have another friend who I play ping pong with. And he goes, he'll put a martini under my nose. Doesn't that look good? Like I have just the opposite of supportive friends. I have friends that try and get me to drink. It's like a reverse intervention. Why do they do i don't know just for fun i mean if it didn't bloat me and do you get hangovers oh yeah yeah okay it lasts all day now for me like yeah like the whole

day like i'll have a hangover at like 10 o'clock at night and go all right i guess i'm ready to drink just to get rid of this you gotta you gotta really over hydrate that's the key when you feel that water's good it's very good for that when you when you feel that headache that's that's mostly dehydration i don't get a headache i get nervous you get nervous i get like anxiety heart palpitations no just like i don't know you know well you realize you're killing your body slow oh yeah you know that's the feeling like you realize you're impending doom that's a danger being a comedian. You know, that's the feeling. Like, you realize you're in pending doom. That's the danger of being a comedian, too, because you can fucking live the life of a degenerate and then be fine by 10 o'clock at night.

And let's be honest about, I mean, how much sobriety is required in our jobs. Yeah. You can go on half fucked up and have a great set. I can go on drunk and not even remember the set and just go on rote I mean I hate to do that but if I have I've done so much stand-up that I mean you know I could I literally could I don't ever do it from a hammock I'm I

never I remember watching people when I was younger phone it in and we've all seen guys phone it in where they're not really engaging and what they're saying they're not really thinking about it yeah i don't like to do that but it's weird it's weird when you see it you know it's weird when you see it and it's weird when it happens to you too i mean sometimes it doesn't always happen to you on part like especially starting out and developing like along the way you kind of like realize like well that set went great what did i do different and this set didn't go as good what did i do wrong right but i remember ray romano got off set it uh we i worked with him at jimmy's comedy alley i remember jimmy's i love that place yeah i middled for ray romano back in

the day it was awesome he was a great guy too he's a great guy he's such a sweet he hates to follow anybody strong well he was great about it though though. He was so funny, man. He was so goddamn good. But anyway, he got off stage. I mean, he just crushed for 45 minutes. Absolutely destroyed. And then he got off stage. Yeah, well, that was about the most autopilot I've ever been.

Really? Just walked right through that one. He goes, I totally phoned it in. They fucking bought it. Hook, line, and sinker. It was hilarious. I just did a benefit with him for Peter Boyles. His wife started a cancer fund and research thing.

And Ray comes up to me. It's so funny in our lives. He goes, can I ask you a question? It may sound a little awkward. I go, why? He goes, did you talk about your balls at all? I go, no, why? He goes, I got a ball bit I wanted to do, but I didn't want to talk about balls again if you did.

Thanks for checking in with me, Ray. I appreciate it. Yeah, do you ever have that with guys? Like they say, oh, sorry, I didn't know that you talked about that. Yeah, of course. I don't give a fuck. Do you give a fuck? No, I don't give a fuck.

I tell you what, I did a bit that Johnny Sanchez did, and I knew that I had to have heard it subconsciously because I swear to God. And Johnny knows me. He knows I wouldn't take it, but it was too specific. It was about Mesopotamia and Persia and Babylonia. Like it had too many rings to it that I thought, John. He goes, no, do it. I go, I'm not going to do it because I know I had to.

I could have been sitting upstairs at the Laugh Factory, not even paying attention, heard it in my mind. You know what I mean? That's the danger of some of these things, because sometimes it's not malicious. Right. You know? Well, and sometimes it's that weird thing where you're working with a guy, and they have a bit that's on the same subject as your bit, but it's a different bit.

Like, all of a sudden, your friend has a time machine bit. Right, all out of nowhere. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're like, okay, yeah, well, that's a different bit like all of a sudden your friend has a time machine bit right all out of nowhere yeah yeah yeah you're like okay yeah well that's not my bit yeah yours is a definitely a different bit but you're gonna do a time machine bit right before i do a time machine bit that's yeah i've seen that on the road where you have the middle act to do middle act the next night all of a sudden has the same subject matter yeah it's called stepping on your material yeah and guys who uh open for you when they're doing that shit, it's so gross. It's so transparent. And I hate to tell people what to do, but as far as subject matter, I feel like so –

But you can't. You can't. It's just you know when someone's got actual bits and you know when someone's just trying to step on the subject matter. It's a weird thing that people do where they get competitive with the other acts that they're working with. And it just ruins the whole vibe. If you go on the road with people and everybody's having a good time and everybody wants everybody else to do well, that's a great feeling.

When you're working with a guy and he wants you to eat it and so he's trying to bury you, he's trying to do shit to bury you, that's a weird feeling. I can't even imagine that way because I've always been with you. I had one guy that did that to me in New Jersey.

And he just kept trying to fuck me. And he could tell. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's the area for it. Mine was in Philly. My worst case example is in Philly. I had this whole bit about Madonna. And this dude did the bit in front of me and used Janet Jackson.

Oh, really? Like did the exact same bit. It was the same. I think I remembered a Madonna bit. Did you call her a whore in it? No, I told a beautiful human being. I never called her a whore. It was just about watching a video.

It was a stupid joke. I don't even remember the exact wording of it. Watching a Madonna video while my girlfriend was in the room and having to field dumb questions. Like, if you had to choose between her and me, who would you pick? I want you to be honest.

And the joke was like, I would fuck her in front of you, over your mother's house, on the kitchen table, with her ass in your cornflakes. So it was a stupid joke. But this dude had the exact same joke the next day with Janet Jackson. I'm like, well, that's crazy's crazy like you just stole that joke and it was i didn't know you know back in the day i didn't really know exactly how you dealt with that i had enough material that it didn't matter i didn't

have to do it i was like already phasing that bit out but i thought it was crazy this guy had like two or three bits all of a sudden that were on the same subjects and one of them was like basically the same exact joke. You just reworded it. Do you ever throw something away and somebody picks it up and runs with it? I had like a thing where I was talking about, I'm not a racist unless I'm in traffic. Then I become a racist.

You know, it's gotta be a fucking chink in front of me. I know it's gotta be a chink broad. Right. And I drive. See, it is like, and why would you ever throw that away well I don't know

it's fucking funny man there's an act at the lab factory now his whole first five minutes is about that being a racist in traffic wow and he heard you talk about this yeah he had to hear it that's really pathetic I've seen guys do that I've seen guys take a bit that someone else said in uh conversation and all

sudden they do it well what they don't understand is that a lot of times like when you say something in conversation you might have already said it on stage or you know if you have like a point of view on something it might be something you've already been working on for a long time and if you lay out the premise like that to a guy, that's just as bad as stealing material. Right. But you know, some things you can't steal. Like when you were doing the two bits about your daughter, it's so vivid. You can see that. I'm not going to tell you that's what makes it so funny, but it's perfectly executed in the sense that you see her and

you see you and her, you know, not, not just the banana thing, but the second thing is fucking hilarious because it brings you in to something. That's, that's what people hopefully can't steal is your essence and your, your own, your own life. You know, if somebody starts talking about my cousin, Johnny, I know they stole from me. I know they can fuck around and dance around shit but but there's a weird thing with being influenced by people versus stealing from people because we're all influenced like we didn't get here on our own none of us get here on our own i think what we would what everybody's always concerned with though is like the honesty of where these ideas are coming from like you're taking ideas from other people the whole vibe of what you're

doing is completely different because they're like the vibe of a stand-up comedian like what i love about say a guy like you when you're on stage and you're killing is i know that this is your mind putting all this together i know this is like an individual's point of view and expression and i'll lock into it and have a great time with your thoughts. But as soon as I think that you're just parroting someone else's words, as soon as I think that this isn't something that you've absorbed, this isn't a part of you as a human,

this is, these aren't your actual thoughts. These aren't your actual conclusions. This is just you saying some shit. Well, then you lose, you lose a big chunk of that connection. Then we have a bullshit relationship.

There's no soul to it. I was watching a guy last week, and he really was stuck in the 80s and really stuck without being able to budge. He was just doing – nothing had any heart to it. It was just like – you know how like Rodney did it so extreme that it was funny? Right. You knew that it was a character. You knew it was jokes, did it so extreme that it was funny? Right. You knew that it was the character. You knew it was jokes and it was funny because his character is so brilliant. Right.

This guy was trying to act like it was him, but it was jokey jokes. Do you know what I mean? It was bizarre. And I thought, man, this is. Dude, put that away. How dare you? What happened? It's a video of me when I was like 20 years old.

Dude, this is so crazy. Somebody's just like, I just remembered Dom Herrera from Full Frontal Comedy. So I'm like, I wonder if I can find that clip. Is that Joe on Full Frontal? And I just pulled it up and it's Joe on Full Frontal. Me and Dom. Like random. Yeah, I did it with Dom.

I've never seen this before. Oh, it's terrible. Don't you dare play it. He still leans forward when he screams. Yeah. Yeah, I'm very flexible at the waist. Oh, wow. This is crazy.

I'd love to know what bit that is. Do you know, Joe? I don't know it's probably terrible though whatever it is it's something involving the penis don't turn it brian stop it i'm not last thing i want to hear is my oldest stand-up no no let's hear a minute fortress let's hear i want to see what bit it is fuck out of here with that let's hear a minute no minute one minute go to google go youtube it yourself i don't want to listen to myself, man. The last thing I want to do.

Even my special, I didn't listen to it until last week. I had a day to edit it, and I watched it for the first time the night before. Oh, this one? It's just coming out? Yeah, yeah. I don't like watching myself. I don't either. I do it for the purposes of working on material.

I'll listen to recordings, and I do learn shit the purposes of working on material. I'll listen to recordings. Yeah. And I do learn shit when I watch myself, like what I think is more effective, like what pauses are more effective or moves are more effective. And you can incorporate what you figure out from watching yourself.

But it takes away from a lot of the fun of the improvisation of it all. Yeah. I don't want to watch myself. Do you mind if we watch you? No. Would you mind stepping out for a minute? I cannot wait to watch this.

I've never seen that before. I'd love to show up in Montreal. Yeah, Dom and I became friends because we did, what was it called? It might have been called The Danger Zone. The Danger Zone? Yeah. Coming from The Danger Zone or something like that? Yeah. Comedy from the Danger Zone or something like that? Yeah.

It was in Montreal at Club Soda. Yeah. And that was the first time I met you, I think. Yeah. That was my first real TV credit, I think. I think I did, I may have did MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour before that, but I didn't really care about that one because I couldn't swear. Right, right.

I just wanted to do a real one. That was like my first real set. And then Dom and I met again at Amsterdam Billiards, and that's when we fell in love. We found out that we play pool. Dom and I play pool. We're regulars at an establishment that will remain unnamed. Look at that guy. Look at that young chap from 1996.

Look at that sexy bastard. Looks like I got a wig on. Look at the fucking moves he's got. No stomach. If I was 6'3", it'd be 64 inches long. I don't remember that. A lot of cock, big boy. A lot of cock.

I read about this guy. He got hit by two trains in one day. All right, that's enough. We're going to watch me. We're not going to watch you. Listen, listen. We don't have to do that to you. Isn't it weird seeing a recorded version of yourself for a long time ago? Yeah, especially when I was like 50 pounds lighter with a big head of hair.

Don Barrera, listen, what we need to do is get you a podcast, first of all. I got a podcast. Yeah. You've been on it. I know, I know, I know, I know. Listen, let me finish. I got a podcast. Yeah. You've been on it. I know. I know. I know. I know. Listen, let me finish. Well, you have a podcast. What I'm saying is we need to get you a podcast that just deals with you not drinking.

All right. A podcast where you just, you get all, any, any like momentum you have, any motivation that you have to drink, any drink, release a podcast about it. Release a podcast about why you want to go have a drink or why you don't want to have a drink. And I think people would be absolutely fascinated by the struggle of it all because you're very open about it. You're very honest about it. Every time you've come on the podcast, when you haven't drank and you were telling me how great you feel. And then now you're like, it's too fucking fun. Shit. I'll be your co-host and I'll try not to drink. Every time you've come on the podcast, when you haven't drank and you were telling me how great you feel. And then now you're like, yeah, it's too fucking fun.

Shit. I'll be your co-host and I'll try not to drink. Well, I told, you know, like in Young Frankenstein, when Gene Wilder says, no matter what I say, do not open that door. And he walks in to talk to the monster. Remember that? Yeah. Well, I said to Noel last night at the Laugh Factory, do not, do not give me a drink, another drink, under any circumstances. I come back 10 minutes later, I'll take another drink. He goes, I don't know what to do.

He told me not to give it to you. I said, forget about what I said. You've got to listen to me. I'm a drunk. You can't keep like seesawing like that. And I think maybe doing a podcast would be a good… Catharsis? Well, a good sort of a method to try to stay sober, if you really want to.

I mean, if you don't want to, look, I mean, I would never try to go to Stanhope and tell him to sober up. He doesn't want to do it. I can't imagine him sober. He doesn't want to do it. And if he wanted to do it, he could do it. He could do it any time he wanted to. He could do it tomorrow if he wanted to. He could.

Mitch Hedberg was the one I tried to reach out to. Really? Yeah, because he was killing himself, obviously. Yeah. But I mean, I didn't know he was doing heroin. Well, I think statistically heroin is safer than alcohol. Really? Yeah.

That's it. I think alcohol is some really dangerous shit. We just don't think it's dangerous because it's everywhere. But it crushes your immune system. But it also makes you feel great, too. Got a couple of whiskeys in you. Sweet Home Alabama comes on you. I think that's the secret is going back to beer for me.

I think I need to just go. I used to only drink beer. And then I just got on this Jack Daniels kick out of nowhere. And I'm just like, why am I drinking so much Jack? I could throw almost 75% of a bottle now. I know. I think I'm like a gunfighter in the Old West. I drink like whiskey now.

Yeah, me too. What the hell is that about? I like it. I like it. It makes me feel like I'm alive. I love that feeling down your throat. Whoa. Yeah, I had a shot last weekend before I went on stage in Seattle.

I did that Parlor Live. You ever do that place up there? What a great club. That area of Seattle, Washington, it's called Bellevue. It's a suburb. It's fucking beautiful out there. It's so nice.

It's beautiful. Northwest is incredible. It's very high-end stores, nice area. I guess that's where Microsoft is or something. Shit load of that paper up there. Mercer Island. Making that big paper. What's Mercer Island?

That's an island up there? That's where my girlfriend from college lives. Really? She lives on an island? I still go out there and give her one for you. One for the team, Joey. One of these right there. The girlfriend from college is still a slammer to her? No, no. She looks much older than me now. You know what's sad?

We get so programmed. No matter what I look like, I can't get a fucking hard-on unless the chick's young and hot. I'm done. I'm done. You know what I mean? Right. I'm fucking done. People will call you shallow.

I have to go to another country. I am shallow. I'm shallow. I don't care you know i don't care what a girl's accomplished i care about her looks right i don't care what oh you got what a phd of philosophy talk to me baby i'm hard as a rock do you not sexually right not sexually i mean i could be interested in the person yeah there's that quote. Fuck, who said that quote? God damn it. I forget who it was, but he said, all I need from a woman is to be attracted to her. Everything else I get from a man. I think it was George Harrison.

Really? Yeah, I think it was George Harrison said that. I think. I've always attributed to George Harrison, but I did Google it and I couldn't find it. But I remember reading it somewhere. Really, really pretty positive. Greg Fitzsimmons is I couldn't find it. But I remember reading it somewhere. Really, really pretty positive. Greg Fitzsimmons has a whole bit about it. He has a whole bit about that if you really wanted to hang out with somebody,

if he was on a deserted island, he wouldn't want it to be a woman because he gets fucking bored of talking to her. He's not compatible. If you want to be attracted to a woman like for unfortunately for the the male reproductive system our bodies get triggered by young fertile women imagine isn't amazing how interesting they become like i can't believe you're so stupid and i find you riveting fuck you never said an original thing in your life look at you it's just so crazy that our bodies are like programmed to that where

rationally your your consciousness the idea is like if we're going to evolve your consciousness should be able to look at that and go i have nothing in common with this 23 year old girl what i need to be doing is dating a 50 year old woman like myself and you know and go out and enjoy our last years together come on grandma let's go get a beer. But if you – the problem is like if you're still into sex and you're still – your body unfortunately wants that in-shape body. Your dick does not lie. Your dick – It's like you feel so shallow and heartless. But I am shallow.

I seriously am shallow. I mean I pride myself on my shallowness or whatever it is. Shallowness. Shallowtaciousness. Lack of depth. The girls that are easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart, though. Oh, Brian, you are a beautiful human being. You are a flower.

Easy there, Shakespeare. The girls that are easy on the eyes, easy on the heart. I say unto thee, where, you're a beautiful flower. The balls that fucking lecture us, you little prick, you. Sitting there in your fucking toilet seat. Beauty on the eyes, Brian. I love it. Have you been in love?

I've got some norms waiting to come out. What? Have you been in love? Oh, yeah. Twice today. No, I mean real love, where you can't eat and sleep. Yeah, yeah. I fall deep in love really fast, that's yeah you don't know I

don't I mean I have been like kind of married four times in my life but only have married once but I yeah Dom's been in some situations before he's had some struggle the crate the one with the ex-stripper was the craziest. I can't even, the whole thing with the house and all that other nonsense. How many of them had green cards attached to them? Yeah. How many had green cards attached to them?

They were all citizens, I was proud to say. Not of the United States. Do you feel bad for a chick that has to date a comedian, for the most part? Why would you want to date a crazy fucking comedian? Comedians are some of the

brightest people I ever met. That's the difference. We're just going back to it. They find that attractive. You can get women because they are just shallow in a different way. They couldn't be with a guy who's just a good guy.

They have to laugh, especially like these models. I remember working at the River Cafe when I was parking cars, and the models, nobody asked them out because they were too fucking hot. So they were alone all the time. Nobody was attracted to them. I guess people were afraid of them. They just didn't want to get shot down. They didn't think they were.

Yeah, yeah. Have you ever been in that situation before where you just felt like a girl was too good for you and you couldn't even try? I'm that thick, no. Never? Even when you were younger? No, I try everything. And I've gotten girls way out of my league just being funny and honesty. Well, you've been a comedian for so fucking long, too.

It's like you probably don't remember what it's like to just be out there in the free world. No, but I was better looking then. So as I got less good looking, I got richer and more famous. Right. You know what I mean? So it kind of balanced off.

You know what I'm saying? Especially if you go to like a third world country, you'll press the fuck out of those chicks. Oh, fuck. Thailand? I'm big. Big in Thailand. Big with the kids.

No, I enjoy it though. I mean, you know, we talked about this a long time ago about how hard it is as a comedian, especially when you go on the road. Because I try not to do anything with the waitresses, waitstaff. Seriously, I'd rather have like a, if I'm going to be with somebody,

I'd rather be like some nut from the supermarket. Still has her uniform on when she comes to the show. But for them, it's a thrill to get a guy like dom herrera because like oh this crazy asshole's coming into town yeah yeah you get to toss their world upside down for a couple of days yeah give her a kiss on the cheek and and you don't name drop you don't brag and name drop they love that they love when you don't how come you didn't tell me that well it didn't come up you know what I mean? It's a very interesting kind of trick because you're really

withholding the bragging to make you look humble. Humble brags. Seriously. Have you ever seen humble brags on Twitter? They're really funny. I'm in the new humble brag book. You're in the book? Yeah, I said something. Are you serious? Yeah, they just published

this book and somebody's like, dude, you're in this book. That's hilarious. I'll show you. That's hilarious. What is that, though? Is that a website? No, it's like a Twitter tag, humblebrag. When someone says something like, wow, I can't believe I got nominated for this today.

I totally didn't expect this. Meanwhile, yeah, you're just letting everybody know you got nominated with your like fake self-deprecating bullshit right here it is right here it says uh uh so thursday i met john mayer friday i met 50 cent this rate at this rate tonight i'm smoking with weed with jim morrison and terry shido how is that a humble that's not a humble that's a joke they're cunts this is that i truly don't get what this means it uh what it has the cadence what does it say it has the cadence it's cut off whoever took this picture but it really doesn't stack up well whoever wrote that's dumb you're a dumb person you don't you don't understand what he's saying he's a regular guy who met some famous people you fuck i truly don't get what this means it means He's a regular guy who met some famous people, you fuck. I truly don't get what this means.

It means you're a cunt. Yeah, I met John Mayer doing comedy, which was weird. Yeah, he was doing comedy at the store for a while. John Mayer? Yeah. You asked me about Cunning McShipballs? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, what is this?

Louis C.K.'s character. Louis C.K. We used to do a thing in Montreal. It was so fucking funny. Louis used to love Oh shit Is that your phone? Is that your phone?

Your phone is the Beatles? What do you got a band? That's a good song I was like damn Dom Herrera Sorry He's got one of them old flip phones too Don't you?

No I got an iPhone I got the first iPhone Dom Herrera has no navigation up in that car He has no idea where he's going I had to text him directions God help the people that were behind him As he was reading that shit People are twittering No navigation up in that car. He has no idea where he's going. I had to text him directions. God help the people that were behind him as he was reading that shit. People are twittering.

Tweeting, rather. Oh, you have it set up so that when people tweet to you, it goes to your phone? I don't know. That's not good. My goddaughter did it. Oh, that's worse. That's not good. You want to change that right now? Because these fucking animals just found that shit out.

That shit's going to kill your battery. You better shut your phone off, son. I am. Or change your settings. Yeah, shut that shit off. Because it's going to kill your battery. You better shut your phone off, son. I am. Or change your settings. Yeah, shut that shit off because it's going to explode when it comes back on. They just found out they could get you. People just found out they could reach you with just a tweet. Do you understand that?

Yeah, yeah. That's insane. You can't let them do that. You know, when I first – your phone will explode. Can I tell you about Israel? No, you just got back, right? No, I didn't go. But I didn't go.

Everybody in my family, you know when it peaked, right? Remember when it peaked, like the danger, and they said they didn't know if there was going to be a war. Right. And they started, bombs hit Tel Aviv and Jerusalem for the first time in 40 years. Remember that? Yes. Okay, so I had to make a decision, and Jeremy Hotz was coming with me, terrific comedian from Canada, and I said, look, I'm going to pull out because my whole family doesn't want me to go.

All my friends don't want me to go. And the guy says, but give me three days. I said, what is this, Fiddler on the Roof, three days? Like, what, are you going to talk to the Palestinians, you know, the promoter? So he says, give me three days, and I said, look, he goes, don't watch the news. It'll poison you. I said, that's like saying a hurricane's coming. Don't watch the weather channel.

It's depressing. Right. Anyway, so I canceled. And given him enough time, there was an article in the Jerusalem Post about how, like, we didn't care about victims of terrorism. You know, it's just the opposite. I only took the gig because it was helping people. You know what I mean? The article about victims of terrorism. It's just the opposite. I only took the gig because it was helping people.

The article about you? Yeah. It outed me and Jeremy and the guy who promoted it, I'm not going to name him but he posted it four times and then he said he didn't realize what it was. How about you write it down on a piece of paper and slide it over here and I'll name him?

No, I don't want to do that. He's not worth it. Well, okay. Let's not name him then. But any asshole that gets mad at you because you don't want to go to a war. Yeah. My brother is a colonel in the Marines, my brother Joe. He's almost a general.

He's done that house-to-house combat. Crazy shit. I told you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He told me. He goes, hold on a second. He looked something up on the computer, hot spots in the world. He goes, I take a rain check on this one.

He told me not to go. He told you not to go. And he said it because my other brother said, all right, your caring brother says one thing. Let's call the crazy brother. And the crazy one said, don't go. Yeah. You know what the issue is, Dom? It's like so far everything has been, the casualties have been kept like at least mildly

in check but it doesn't mean that someone can't do something fucking crazy and it might not happen and it might be you know a few people die here a few people respond and die here it might be the way it's coming on or might be a an event right i'm totally sympathetic to these people too it's not like i do care. It's terrible. The situation is horrific. Joe, you know what I was afraid of? Not getting bombed.

That's so random. I was afraid of the airport getting bombed. Getting stuck. Yeah, getting stuck. Yeah. You have to think about that. Because it's not like I can go to Damascus and catch a flight. Right. It's not like if you're in Europe and an airline goes on air, France goes on strike, you just drive to Spain.

Yeah. But it ain't like that in the Middle East. It's not like that at all. And that is one of the tactics that people use. If they're attacking a city, they'll attack the airport. So they can't get in good. Yeah, you hit the runways. Yeah.

That's what they do. Look, it's a very, very volatile situation. And you could have gone over there and you could have been fine. Or you could have gone over there and you could have died.. Or you could have gone over there and you could have died. Yeah. It's like that's reality in those parts of the world. It's like we have this sort of ridiculous notion that because we're safe over here, that we don't really have to think about that shit too much.

Well, the world is smaller now. There was a time when it did mean a lot. Like the fact that we were isolated over here, away from Europe and Asia. You know, as far as fighting. That's why, you know what I mean? There was a time when, now, everything's so instantaneous. They could get inside. People, terrorists could do something here if they wanted to.

Someone's been watching Homeland. I haven't seen Homeland. Good fucking show. You know, I was with one of the leads last week. Not to be a name dropper, because I don't even remember his name. But Russell Peters, when we went out to dinner, and to be a name dropper because I don't even remember his name, but Russell Peters when we went out to dinner and to be a name dropper. Russell Peters knows everyone famous. He's fucking hilarious.

You see how smooth he is? Hey, I'm having a party. Here's my number, Mix Master Mike. Come over. He's the only one that brought a posse to my podcast. Yeah. I said, Russell, you're bringing a fucking posse to the podcast? He brings posses everywhere.

He brought a posse to the Ice House, too. Can I plug that podcast? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It a fucking posse to the podcast? He brings posses everywhere. He brought a posse to the Ice House, too. Can I plug that podcast? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dom Rare Live from the Lab Factory. Let's talk about doing another podcast. Let's talk about doing the Sobriety Chronicles. I'm telling you, it would be hilarious. And it would be a method to keep you from drinking.

I know you don't want to drink. Because I know how you felt when you weren't drinking. When we were talking, we were playing pool. You were like, I feel better. I feel nice to not feel like shit. I even felt quicker quicker and ping pong i'm sure you did how much better i felt dumb you don't have to uh drink to have a good time with these clubs you know and uh i'm not saying that you should try pot because uh you you don't need to even change your state of consciousness if you don't want to can i still do x Xanax? I don't know. You tell me. You want one? No.

No. I don't want that stuff. I'm telling you, Joe. I don't know, though. Listen, I'm sure. I don't need that. It's hanging out at the club. It's impossible not to drink.

I try it every day. I'm at a comedy club, and you just see everyone else drinking, everyone's laughing and having fun. How about when you're on the road? I went to the Laugh Factory last night, and I had some water. Yeah.

You can go up and have fun, man. You don't need to have a drink. All right. So this is my life. I'm in Australia. I'm at the Sydney Opera House, right, one week. The next week I'm at Mr. McGoovy's Joke House. Right.

And I'm alone. But the girls are nice. I'm having a drink with them. What do I do? Go back to my... Well, sometimes it's fun. Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't drink. I love drinking. No, but I agree with you. But I don't do it every fun. Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't drink. I love drinking.

No, but I agree with you. But I don't do it every day. Yeah, but you're in a lot fucking better shape than me. You can drink. I shouldn't drink. Well, even me. I feel it. I feel it when I drink and I feel the difference in my body.

It's just not good for you. It's not smart and I don't have an issue with it. I can take it or leave it. I like it. I like it with a meal. I like some wine with a meal. But I can take it or leave it. What I think some wine with a meal but i can take it or leave it what what i think is important though is when you can't take something or leave it when you have to

take it yeah that's sort of a situation where you gotta really work well what is this thing doing to me is this thing that i can't take is it helping me do i feel better or is it fucking with my whole life and for you i think it fucks with your whole life you know and i agree and i love you and i i love seeing that you were sober you know and you know and i love you and i i love seeing that you were sober you know and you know i'm not captain save-a-ho i mean you do whatever the fuck you want to do you know how i am i mean i give people advice if they want it and i you and i have had this uh this conversation many many times and i never really told you what you should do or shouldn't do i sort of just let you talk and you know and ask you questions and but if if you

wanted my advice my advice would say you got to stop drinking it's not good for you but i look great good it's uh it's one of those things like some people can have a drink every now and again and some people can't do that all of a sudden it creeps up and becomes your whole day yeah well it doesn't become but it. It's definitely creeped back up. But for you, you were doing like drinks in the morning. Oh, that was a while ago. Yeah. But that became your whole day, right?

No, not my whole day. I mean, I would do a drink in the morning on a plane. But I wasn't sitting at home having shots before I got out of bed. Not like lost weekend kind of thing. Were you drinking alone? Yes. Really? See, I can't do that. Not like lost weekend kind of thing Were you drinking alone? Yes Really? See I can't do that

Oh I love it I don't know I think of you I think of you sitting on a toilet I mean look for a lot of people that like their drink This is annoying man let the guy be himself Let the guy drink I know when you're reaching out a little bit and i know when you keep mentioning this stuff it's not because it's not fucking with you yeah you know

well you know we go to that pool hall i don't need to drink right i'm fine i mean i'm fine you know just racking the balls for you gets to be a good shame well shape. Well, you start playing better, too. Everything works better. So, look, drinking's fun. I enjoy it. I enjoy it. But it's goddamn bad on the body. Nobody ever says something like, Hey, you look good.

What are you, drinking again? You really got it together. But it's not, you know, they say like a glass of wine every night. It's not even bad for you. As a matter of fact, it might be beneficial. An ounce of alcohol, whether it's in a beer, wine, or it's supposed to be good for your circulation. Yeah.

Well, you know, people used to drink wine with food because they thought it prevented food poisoning, prevented traveler's poisoning. Oh, yeah? Traveler's sickness, they would call it. Because back then, when they were traveling around, those assholes were drinking wine out of, like, animal skins and shit like that. They made, like, these flasks out of animal skins. That's how they drank their wine. Well, I rationalize, too, because I'll go, well, I only had two drinks. But there are two martinis with, like, eight shots each.

And there are two jumbo drinks. Yeah. Do you imagine how hard it must have been to carry food back then? I mean, they probably all got food sickness. You know, because, I mean, how long does meat stay good? A couple of hours after you kill it? I mean,

how many, do you have a day? What do you have when it's 80 degrees outside? Do you have two days? I know, that's what cracks me up about people bitching

about a plane being a half hour late. Right. And comedians saying, you know, I was actually trying to write a bit about it because the idea

of taking a year to go across the country and, you know, getting stuck at the Donner Pass because of the snow. How fucking crazy. Imagine, like, where are you going? I've got to go to bed. I've got a gig in San Francisco.

When? Next June in a year. Oh, really? You better get some rest. You know what I mean? It's like we take it like, fuck, a half hour late. Son of a bitch. Well, you want to really wrap your head around a crazy number?

wrap your head around a crazy number here's the craziest number between the invention of the airplane and the dropping of an atomic bomb from the airplane was less than 50 years Wow talk about a life-changing yeah Hitler fucked up Hitler fucked up he should have never alienated the Jews. They won it for us. Wernher von Braun. Well, yeah. Well, Oppenheimer, right? He was the guy that created it. Wernher von Braun was the NASA guy.

Wasn't he the guy that did the atom bomb? No. That's Oppenheimer. Wernher von Braun was the guy who supposedly got us on the moon. Son of a bitch. He's the guy from Operation Paperclip. All the best Nazi scientists from... Were Jewish.

Were Jewish? Weren't they at first? Oh, I don't know. They came over and took care of that. I don't know if they were or not. But all the best Nazi scientists were sort of distributed between Russia and the United States after World War II. And America started with Wernher von Braun. They got Wernher von Braun and all these different Nazi dudes

under Operation Paperclip. But they were all, like, legit Nazis. That's one of the dark secrets of the American space program. It was run by Nazis. Wernher von Braun was a legit Nazi. Like, if he was alive today, the Simon Wiesenthal Center said they would prosecute him for crimes against humanity. Wow. Apparently, he had a rocket factory in Berlin.

And there was this guy who did this documentary on the moon landings. And he interviewed people that worked in the rocket factory. This guy had tattoos from being in the concentration camp. And he talked about how Wernher von Braun, like they would hang the five slowest Jews in front of the rocket factory every day. It was like really dark, dark, dark shit. How could you hate that much? It's not. I mean, that's beyond hate. That's like inhumanity.

It's like that regime, that Nazi regime, that ruthlessness also yielded some incredible science. I mean, the scientific achievements, just in the rocketry and engine building and the shit that they were able to do. And then Russia scooped some of them up and we scooped some of them up, and that's where NASA came from. But the atomic bomb was invented here, wasn't it? Yeah, the Manhattan Project.

Yeah, that was Oppenheimer. He was, I mean, he sounds pretty Jewish. Was Oppenheimer Jewish? It must be, right? Of course. Of course? Of course. Oppenheimer?

Of course, let's not forget the best. Speaking of Jews, on Christmas Eve, I'm doing a synagogue. What? Doing a synagogue and the Laugh Factory has a show, a Jewish show. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, a Jewish show. Oh, really? Yeah. I love that. Nice.

Where do you have a gig on New Year's Eve? Where are you at? I'm at the Good Nights in North Carolina. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Which I'm really looking forward to. Not only the club, but my family's down there. And I got a lot of friends in Raleigh.

I'm looking to see if he was Jewish. It does not say damn it we showed this on a podcast before that this nazi experiment with the dog head yeah they had electrical impulses into the dog head and made it move after it's detached from the body yeah they did some blanking look that looks real right there yeah that dog is alive dude they did some crazy shit the The Nazis did some crazy shit. And they were really obsessed with the occult. That's really weird. I wonder how much of it is sort of revisionist bullshit that these reality TV shows try to do these sort of half documentary type shows.

Like I love Ancient Aliens, a fun show. But the reality is they get a lot of shit wrong like they're not trying to be like super duper accurate about some of their stuff and so like when they say something like that that the the nazis were really into the cult i really wish i knew how much into the occult they were but that was a theme of like indiana jones and temple you know remember the raiders of the lost ark when they found the Ark of the Covenant? That was supposed to be the Nazis were after all this occult shit. Apparently they had a reputation.

I really should educate myself on that. Find out how deep that was and what the fuck that was all about. But this guy Oppenheimer, one of the creepiest things. Are you looking at that now? When he blew up the nuclear bomb, he quoted the Bhagavad Gita.

This is ancient Hindu religious text. He said, now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds. Wow. Could you imagine standing next to a dude who's so fucking smart that he created an atomic bomb? His inventions gave birth to the atomic bomb. And then you're standing next to him while it blows up and he quotes that kind of shit. Like he's happy about it. He's not happy.

He wasn't happy at all. He thought it was a terrible, terrible mistake. Yeah. Well, a lot of these guys that are scientists, the real issue is in becoming a scientist, you're pursuing knowledge, you're pursuing the measurement of different experiments and you're trying to invent and create with technology. But at a certain point in time, you must know that if you continue down this path, it's going to lead to insane amounts of people dying.

And in your mind, it's a battle now because as a scientist, as a person who's trying to achieve a goal, you want to see if you can be the first person to do this. You want to see if you can be the first person to split an atom inside a bomb and lead to this incredible explosion of energy. You want to do that. But then you have to realize, like, wow, if I do do that, what the fuck am I really doing?

Like, I am the only way this can get done. And then there's the argument, well, if you don't do it, the Nazis are going to do it. We have to do it first. That's what the argument was. That's what the argument was. And so this guy was caught in there, and he got there first. And when he said that, that became one of the creepiest quotes ever attributed to anybody that's responsible for anything really monumental. I had read that a lot of the scientists we got were Jews who left Nazi Germany when they could get out.

I bet there was that, too. I'm sure there was that as well. I mean, that's Einstein. Yeah. But I think the rocketry program in particular, NASA, got a lot of Nazis. They were still real Germans, not just Jewish. They were Nazis. It was Operation Paperclip.

I mean, and how many of them were Nazis because their families were forced into that, because they were stuck there? How many of them were Nazis because they were really fucking psychopath creeps? Who knows? How many of them actually were responsible for murder? I don't know. I would love to know what he was saying, though, because you've got to admit, the guy was a riveting performer, Hitler. Yeah.

He was a charismatic speaker. I mean, I thought, did you ever see pictures of Khrushchev? Yes. When he took his shoe off and banged it? We will bury you. Who the fuck takes their shoe off at a UN meeting and starts banging it? And says we'll bury you. Yeah.

Do you remember that fear that we had? You know, there was a fear of being in a nuclear war with Russia. Sure. And it was all the time. We always felt it. Like, that was, like, in the 80s. That was, like, especially because there was no internet back then. We didn't know what the fuck was really going on.

The button, the red phone. You know, the president had that power. But you would get your news from either newspapers or the news shows. That's where you got your news. I wonder if it ever came close to a nuclear war. Well, they say that the Bay of Pigs, they say the Bay of Pigs, it got pretty close. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you ever hear about the russian sleep experiment that they did back in the uh i want to say yeah 1940s they they wanted to keep five prisoners awake i meant the cuban missile crisis not uh bad pigs but no what did they do they wanted to keep uh uh five people awake they took five prisoners and they said like hey uh we want to do some experiments on you yeah we'll let you go so for uh I think the first five days, everyone was kind of, you know, fine, you know. And then it went from them, like, screaming, like, for hours at a time, like, ah, get me out of here. And, like, they had microphones in this, like, in this pen. It was like, you know, a sealed kind of thing that had no windows.

And they had microphones so they could record everybody, what they talked about and stuff. And they started going crazy. They started screaming and everything. And they were pumping this room filled with some gas, some test gas that they were trying to – so they could keep soldiers up for 10 days at a time. And so then all the people started screaming. Then they were quiet. Then all the scientists were like, I think the microphones aren't working. They're not making any noises at all.

And so they go in there and all the people are just very calm. They didn't want to leave anymore and stuff like that. And then when the experiment was over, they wouldn't leave. They were fighting. They wanted to stay in this chamber.

I guess people started killing themselves because they didn't want to go, ripping their throats out and stuff like that. What? And there's a video on YouTube called – What is the exact name of this video? The Russian Sleep Experiment. It's on YouTube. And there's a video.

I think it's what the microphones recorded. I'm remembering this now, but I think I might have, in my own head, incorporated it into that. Do you remember that movie, In the Mouth of Madness? No. What's that? It was a movie about a dude who was an author who went fucking crazy. And I think I attributed some of the aspects of his, the book had some weird power over people. When they read the book, they'd get sucked into this crazy world, like the world around them would change.

Really fascinating book. Um, I forget who wrote it. I want to say it's Stephen King, but it's not the mouth of madness. Yeah. Uh, there's a website called creepy pasta dot Wikia,

whatever. Just type in the Russian sleep experiment. There's the whole story and he goes, he breaks it down per hour. And then like how, how people just, they started going crazy and that movie

In the Mouth of Madness is a John Carpenter movie creepy ass movie it's a really good movie but for some reason I incorporated that I guess that is like a real news story I incorporated that in my memory it just goes to show you how like memories can be faulty as fuck you know I incorporated that reality into a fake memory that in my memory. It just goes to show you how memories can be faulty as fuck. Oh, yeah.

I incorporated that reality into a fake memory. I guess one of the people were hurt and they tried to give him anesthesia and the guy was like, I must remain awake. I must stay awake. Whoa. Yeah. It's interesting now.

When you get a chance to read this whole thing. Are you sure this is not fiction? I always thought it was real. I've heard that there's people that questioned it based on the YouTube video. Because the YouTube video is just the microphone. So I think a lot of people are like, hey, that's not real. Somebody's just bullshitting. Because at one point they do start screaming and running around and stuff.

But I never really researched it. It's something that I heard a long time ago. Hmm. But, yeah. I'm sure the Internet will tell me if it's real or not soon. Yeah. If it's on the Internet, it's got to be true. Right.

Yeah. I want to find out if this is true. Should I go to Snopes? Is the Russian sleep experiment true? Huh. Yeah, I need to find this out because we can't keep – we have to make sure that we don't spread disinformation. People get so aggro with correcting us. Joe, you're spreading false weed knowledge.

I try so hard to get shit right. One dude got mad because I called hemp a cousin of marijuana. Meanwhile, it says it's a cousin like everywhere online, everywhere you read. Just Google cousin hemp marijuana. Don't they get marijuana from him? BBC has it. It's a strain. It's a different strain.

And it's the male of the species. And I understand that. And this guy was saying that I was spreading disinformation. It's like people are jumping up, trying to catch you saying something wrong. So when we have something like this. You know, this is a nice way to say things, folks. And if something's wrong, say, hey, I think maybe there's a dispute about the definition of this. Or, hey, maybe you

didn't know, but even though everybody calls it a cousin, it's something else. Or, hey, maybe, you know, just be nice, folks. Don't be all cunty. Stop with the disinformation! Like you're doing it on purpose. I have two friends that are lawyers and one of them always ends the argument

by going, you're wrong. Oh, God. So that shuts it all down. Oh, God. You're wrong. Those guys are just so gross. Can't you have a conversation, you weak bitch? Have a conversation with someone who has a completely different point of view from you and take it in.

Take it in. That's why I don't talk politics because I've never seen anybody go at the end of a political discussion, you know what? You got a a good point i think i'm going to change my mind there's an issue with a lot of men socially when it comes to arguing about things and that issue is they're trying to win yeah you know they're not just they're not comfortable with themselves enough to just be themselves they're trying to establish societal dominance just trying to establish a social dominance i you know i have, okay, just a very nice person who has a husband. Just put the name over.

I won't. Who has a husband. And when I'm forced to interact with this guy, it always becomes this weird thing where he tries to brag about something. And it's this weird social thing. Yeah, yeah. And it might be like he'll try to crack a subtle joke at you or – but whatever it is, it's this weird like uncomfortable like posturing thing that goes on. Yeah, yeah.

And so when I'm around him, I always like treat it like a research subject. I'm just like, wait. What throws it off exactly? What do we have to do to get him to stop? Should I just – what should I do this time? Should I just agree with them? I'll go, you're amazing. Just say, you are a really amazing guy.

Your wife is so fortunate. Change my life. Make them really uncomfortable. Can we hang out together more? Because I think I can learn from you. There's just something about you. What do you do? That's so passive-aggressive.

Do you mock them or do you call them out on it? I wouldn't call them out. I think it's like the guy with the Israel thing. When I found out that he posted this thing four times, I called him up and I said, you know, I really look forward to working with you again. I understand you're coming in today. If you need, I could send a car for you at the airport or I could pick you up myself. Totally just being fucking evil.

I was, you up myself. Right. Totally just being fucking evil. Right. I was, you know. But instead of like going, fuck you, and then he's got that recorded, it's like, hey, man. Right. Thank you for doing that. I appreciate the exposure in Israel. Look, it's indefensible. The fact this guy wanted you to fly into a war zone is fucking nuts.

To tell some jokey jokes, the guy's an asshole. You know, he didn't like the fact that he had to give his deposit back or whatever the fuck went wrong. But guess what, dude? That's part of what goes on when you're dealing with shit in a war zone. Yeah.

Okay? And it's not the fucking entertainer's fault that they don't want to fly into a fucking war zone. And the writer apologized and he said, we've got to be careful

not to get comedians that are skittish. So in other words, I'm sorry for what I said, but these guys are pussies. Skittish are skittish. So in other words, I'm sorry for what I said, but these guys are pussies. Skittish. Skittish. Yeah, I don't think you use the word skittish when there's bombs.

He's skittish around bombs. If there's actual bombs going off, you can't. I get anxiety attacks when I'm getting shot at. Is it a real war? Oh, it's a real war. Huh. I think you might be a little harsh. Skittish, you

judgmental cunt face. Where does this guy live? The guy who booked this shit. He lives here. He doesn't live there. He goes over, but he doesn't live here. Everyone's saying that Russian shit's fake.

From 2009, it was just this viral thing that went around. It's a fictional piece of work. It appears to have started spreading in a viral fashion sometime in 2009. Meanwhile, we were just contributing to disinformation, Brian. You're part of the problem. I told you Brian is fucking Illuminati. That's good. It's a nice story, though.

It's a really creepy story. At least you called yourself on it. It's good. It's a nice story, though. It's a really creepy story. At least you called yourself on it. It's good and creepy. It is good and creepy. I remember it from a while ago, and I just remember reading it and going, hey, that's crazy. I guess it's just a cool – it's not even a hoax, apparently. It was just a piece of fiction.

Yeah. I like this providital. Providial. Yeah, I could feel it. I feel like wide awake right now. Oh, you took it? Yeah. It's going to kick in even later

See if your pulse is Is your pulse elevated? No We learned about this shit From powerful Dave Asprey And powerful Tim Ferriss So now I just feel awake I will say no more

Yeah Are those guys comedians? See if it works No That's one of the cool things About having this podcast Is that I get to Hang out and talk to all these

Like dudes way off the beaten path that i would never get to communicate with like uh this guy dave asprey who's just i would guess you would call him like a human performance expert and he runs a uh a tech company but um on top of that he also like has this uh website that he puts out all this information about health and fitness and he does these brain hacking things and all that how'd you find him just um met him online man met him through uh communicating online you know people recommended his work and then you check him out and we had the guy in here the guy he's a fucking super creepy genius it was one of those crazy um podcasts like after it's over,

you've got to go back with a piece of paper and write down shit and Google things. It was a crazy podcast. I learned a lot of stuff. What are the odds of getting a chance to talk to a guy like that if you didn't have a podcast like this? How would you get someone to sit down with you for three hours and talk about shit? I'm always amazed by the mind. I used to teach school i took fourth grade and i

was amazed at how kids had different intelligence uh-huh and how like i remember i was really bad in math but i knew every the batting average of every the top 10 players in american national league without even thinking about it i knew the er the earned run average of the pitchers isn't that incredible the way your mind accepts accepts things. I was like fucking retarded in math. Yeah, I always loved that I knew Marvin Hagler's record. Yeah, yeah. I knew who he lost to, what the decision was. I knew Duran's record.

I could read you back where he had his first loss, when he beat Ken Buchanan to get the title. Did you watch that whole fight the other night? Yeah, I did, yeah. I figured you would. Pacquiao fight, yeah. Yeah, that was crazy. It was crazy the way he walked into it, huh?

You can't let down. You can't make that instantaneous mistake in boxing. You're done. Yeah, I think he's got his attention very stretched as well. There's a bunch of issues with Pacquiao, I think. I think one of the big issues is that he's like, I don't think we can even wrap our heads around how famous that guy is.

Oh, in the Philippines? Yeah. I mean, he's like a god. He could be president. He could be president of the Philippines. So there's that, and being a congressman over there, who knows what kind of crazy fucking pressure that guy's under.

Who knows? I don't understand then on top of that he's trying to chain train and then on top of that he's super famous so he's got to constantly be doing media things constantly be doing interviews constantly talking to people and then on top of that he has a family like that's a lot of shit i don't i don't know i mean i don't know if you could really do that. I think you could do it for a little while because you were so good at boxing to begin with. But I think he's at a point where his skills have started to slip because of the fact that he's not putting the same amount of focus into it as he was. He's got too many distractions.

And then on top of that, he's had a lot of wars. He's had a lot of crazy fights. I mean, he wasn't getting hit too much in other fights. But, man, these goddamn Marquez fights. Marquez just has his number. Some guys just have their number. But didn't you think he was winning up to that point? Yes.

Yes, I did. But he did get knocked down. And he got knocked down with one punch. And that was the first time. The first time he got knocked down, he got knocked down like in like, was like the fourth maybe? And then he got knocked out in the sixth. One second to go.

That's the cleanest punch I've ever seen a quick guy take, like a guy that kind of lightning speed. Because he really walked into it flush. Flush. Boom. You couldn't hit a guy any more perfect. Marquez just drilled it down the middle. Brilliant placement. And when you see the impact of it, we were watching it in Dana White's dressing room.

And when you see the impact of Pacquiao's head fly back, you were like. If he fell down face first. And then you see him fall down face first. We all just like leapt up. We were like, whoa. Like who saw that coming? Because Pacquiao was moving in on him. Like he had hurt Marquez before that.

He got a little too cocky. Got a little too cocky. See, I would love to hit somebody like that without fear of getting hit back. Well, that's what I've always said. People say, like, hey, man, why don't you fight, man? Why don't you fight MMA? First of all, everybody wants to beat people up. No one wants to fight, okay?

Everybody that says things like that, you don't know what a fight is. A fight is he gets to do that to you, too, stupid. It's not a matter of, if I can kick ass i just go in there and kick ass well then people who can also kick ass are gonna kick your ass you understand that right like you you have to be ready for the craziest fucking competition known to man that's what you're a professional fighter yeah trains as a fighter you can't just go kick ass okay it doesn't work that way it's funny about people that talk about this guy used to say i'll fucking throw you through a wall. First of all, when's the last time you were in a fight?

Second grade. You know what I mean? Like these guys, they talk about fighting all the time. I'll break your fucking head. You never did anything. Are you fighting Kool-Aid? A whole series. Hey, Kool-Aid.

There's a whole series of dudes I've met throughout my life Who have told me that they can't lose Because of their mentality It's this thing that guys will tell you This fucking guy It was a year ago a guy told me I tell you what man If I dedicated myself to MMA If I dedicated myself I would dominate

Because dude My mentality is I cannot lose How about getting hit here Get hit here on this nerve and see how you can lose. And I have to sit there when a guy says something like that. I'm just nodding and going, okay. Yeah. Well, good luck with that mentality.

But you don't understand my mentality. I cannot lose. When I get that in my head. Just make sure you don't fight anybody. And they always invade your space when they're telling you this. And you're like, okay. Do you ever get people challenging you? No.

No, no. I'm like super friendly. I'm not like very standoffish at all. know you're great with people but if uh if someone like like those kind of guys if you know if you challenge them if you want to like get in an altercation with a dude you can say something and they will probably hit you yeah there's a lot of people that are just running around looking for someone to hit i told you that ray mancini story right well what happened he came to see me at the improv with his wife and his kids. And then when I got off, he came out to talk to me.

This guy comes up and he goes, hey, Ray, boom, boom, Mancini. It's great. He gets all excited. He goes, hey, Ray, can you hit me? And he goes, what? And I go, look, man. He goes, yeah, I want to see what it feels like to get hit by a professional boxer. Just like hit me.

I go, look, man, he can't hit you. Ray's the nicest fucking guy in the world. He can't hit you. And the guy goes, oh, come on. He goes, all right, well, can I hit you then? And I go, will you get the fuck out of here? Can I hit you then? What the fuck?

I know. Can I hit you then? Can I give you a shot just to show you how strong I am? I'm just on the arm. I had a guy ask me if he could carry me once. He could what? Carry me. What? Carry you? What would carry you?

Was it raining outside? He put his jacket down over the puddle. He wanted to take a picture with me. He wanted to hold me. Are you serious? And that's how he said it, too. He's like, can I carry you? I go, what?

No. What the fuck is wrong with you, man? He was a big giant dude. He was this big. He looked like he was a Native American Long hair Long dark hair Scary as fuck

Juicy food So you don't have a problem with that guy It would take a while There's a question that stands alone Can I carry you Come on crazy Alright carry He's like

Probably like 6'8 6'9 Big giant dude Wanted to pick people up in pictures That's his thing Strange fetish But understandable Well you know when that's what you got you know it's a funny thing when people like you know they're like super proud of like a physical attribute that they were you know sort of born with like being like really crazy tall yeah well you know how tall i am i'm

just pretty fucking tall so i just walk walk in. Being tall and all. It's a strange thing. I suspect guys with big dicks have that too. How happy that they got a big dick. But listen, man. You could have easily been born one of those micro dicks that you laugh at online. That dude didn't ask for that dick. You didn't ask for your dick. You got lucky.

What is that that you're showing in the corner? People are saying that you are an undercover Russian spy or something like that how's that so i'm showing the kgb logo why are they saying i'm an undercover i don't know how the fuck do you get a lot of tweets during the show yeah it's fun to watch live feedback joe doesn't like it well the problem is they will uh entertain your thoughts with a lot of negative shit. Yeah. You know?

And you're inviting – I mean every now and then it might be fun but you're inviting too many options. Do people really think you're a reptilian or all that shit? No. Do really people believe that? No. Like you're some part of the – Yeah, the Illuminati.

I'm sure there's some – look, there's a lot of people that are what you call paranoid schizophrenics and that's legit and that's not like a small percentage of our population you know there's like i know several i know i know many people that have like legit mental illnesses i think it's super common yeah so if you're a person with a legit mental illness and you know you see someone on television you can get completely convinced that they're involved in some sort of secret society to hold you down i know a dude who's losing his mind that that one dude we know is losing his mind thinks that everybody's working for the fucking cia do we know a few people that are really losing their mind yeah people being mind controlled and shit like what are you like stop. Settle the fuck down. It's much – there's much less conspiracy afoot than people would like to see fit – than people would like to believe, rather.

Have you ever been contacted by any of these groups like Scientologists or Illuminatis? I would be into joining Scientology. They seem like they have a lot of money and they protect their people well. Right. We'll have to rework some of your rules, but I think we'll be fine. Yeah, but I guess if you – I don't understand that religion, do they believe in God? They believe.

Look, they're a group of badasses. They're very successful. If you look at what Scientology has done, they're amazing at making money and at managing their business, their business of Scientology, and amazing at acquiring really expensive real estate. I think they're like a big real estate holder in Los Angeles. They own like some really big fucking buildings, a lot of like really expensive stuff. Yeah. So they're smart. That was L. Ron Hubbard, right?

Yeah. Well, he's the guy who started it. But I mean, was that – He's been dead for a long time. Do they think that – do they believe in a god or do they believe they're god? They believe – Aliens. They believe some crazy shit written by L. Ron Hubbard.

That's what's really weird about it. It's like They believe some crazy shit written by L. Ron Hubbard. That's what's really weird about it. It's like they believe some – it seems to me that some people just need a structure. They need some stuff that tells them all the answers. Every question that they have is answered whether illogical or not. Some people just need that base covered and they'll take that base from Scientology or they'll take that base from Buddhism or they'll take that base from Christianity. They'll take that base from whoever gets there first. Whoever gets there first, whoever is in the right position, who resonates with them the

most, they'll accept that. And for something like Scientology, one of the good things about Scientology as opposed to a lot of the other religions is there's a lot of like pretty interesting principles that they mess with in terms of managing your consciousness, positive thinking, accepting

positive things in your life, enacting change. There's like a lot of like that's why Dianetics was so successful. Like Dianetics, when they sold it on TV, you didn't know that you were becoming a part of some sort of crazy religious cult. You thought that you were buying a self-help book. And I bought a bunch of self-help books, man. I bought Tony Robbins shit.

I listened to his books on tape. Yeah, when I was poor as fuck living in Revere, I used to listen to – Yeah, yeah. That's hilarious. I was a struggling comedian. fuck living in revere um i i used to listen to yeah yeah that's hilarious i was i was struggling comedian i was listening to anthony robbins tapes and just thinking about like how to make things happen like he's a really good motivator you know and the the dianetics thing i thought was this very similar that's what i thought it was and then when i got it when i um when i got the book

they sent me invitations to go to like the Scientology Center and all this different shit. They sent me them almost every month. They were relentless for years. Like if you're lost, they reach out and they just get you. It's like this is pre-internet, okay? Because this is like 1994. So it was fascinating to me because i didn't understand what

it was i didn't we had no internet okay wrap your head around that people so when i if someone asked me what scientology was i had to like literally go to a store i had to buy a book i had to read it myself so in reading this dianetics book and then getting all these emails from all these mails actual physical mail sent to my mailbox from this group. I was like, what the fuck is this? So then it piqued my curiosity. And then I really looked into it. And I was like, wow, this is amazing.

This is a cult. Did you ever get sucked into any of that? No, no. I never went to like a meeting or anything. But I did sit down with a dude and he did that stress test thing on me. Oh, they did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was way later.

That was like a couple of years ago. Well, you definitely needed it. The outcome of that test was like you need to become a Scientologist. Oh, it's pretty clear. It's the most ridiculous device ever. I'm sitting there and I don't think, I wish we had

Cara Santa Maria on who she could explain us the science behind it and how woefully lacking it is in real science. I wish we could too. Because you're in love. But anyway, they would sit down with you and you hold on to this e-meter and he would ask you questions. And I don't remember the nature of the questions, but I just remember it being so ridiculous. And I remember asking, like, how many different things can affect this?

What about intent? Does intent affect it? What if I get angry? Does that affect it? So then I tried to just like like think of answers like in a fucked up way really raise my brain oh no I believe I'm not exactly sure cuz I was really high when I did this but it wasn't that long ago it wasn't it was a couple years ago. I was filming a game show in my head. We were down there.

So that was pre, before Fear Factor came out. So it was a couple of years ago. At least three years ago. Anyway, point being, I'm sitting there with these fucking tin cans in my hands, holding on to this thing. And this guy who is reading out of this book like a Prozac zombie. I mean he's like – he's a weird disconnected dude and he's reading me these things. He definitely doesn't know who I am.

He's never watched Fear Factor or anything before. He was 100 percent – like he asked me my name a couple of times. He forgot it. He had to ask me it again. But the way he was like taking me through, do you feel uh what how do you feel when you feel about your childhood i'm like it's great it's pretty good good childhood i'm here i'm healthy okay how do you feel about your education like he was asking me these weird questions while i'm holding on to these what was he looking for i don't know i don't understand. They were trying to like show that you have a certain amount of stress in your

life. And what they would recommend is that you look into Dianetics and then you look into Dianetics and then boom, you're, you're a Scientologist. And what, you know, Scientology can do for a lot of people is provide them with a framework,

provide them with like a scaffolding. It gives them like a way to like move forward. scaffolding. It gives them a way to move forward. And that's legit for everybody, whether it's Christianity or anything. When you give someone a framework, sometimes all they need is a step-by-step instruction of how to get through life or how to move through to the next stage,

how to go get a job, how to get their shit together. People need instructionals, even whack ones, even whack ones, you know, even whack ones that have aliens in them. And like with all that other stuff, the thetans and the volcanoes.

And what is the story? The whole, do we need that? We can play the quick South Park. Yes. Let's do that. Let's do that. Because this is the,

why, why fuck around when the masters have already nailed it? Okay. Hold on. Let's get this. I could tell you what stresses you, Joe. What? Lack of integrity.

Yeah. In anything. Stealing material, people that bullshit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, let's listen to this. Okay, let's see if we can. There is a reason for people feeling sad and depressed.

An alien reason. It all began 75 million years ago. Back then, there was a galactic federation of planets, which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu. Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated, and so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets and then had those aliens frozen. from all different planets and then had those aliens frozen. And then there's a graphic that says

this is what Scientologists actually believed. Which looked like DC-8s except with rocket engines. The cruisers then took the frozen alien bodies to our planet, Earth, and dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii. The aliens were no longer frozen. They were dead. The souls of those aliens, however, lived on and all floated up towards the sky. But the evil

Lord Xenu had prepared for this. Xenu didn't want their souls to return, and so he built giant soul catchers in the sky. The souls were taken to a huge soul brainwashing facility, which Xenu had also built on Earth. There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material, which tricked them into believing a false reality. Xenu then released the alien souls, which roamed the Earth aimlessly in a fog of confusion. At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies which they could grab onto. They attached themselves to all mankind, which still to this day causes all our fears or So, yeah. Brilliant.

That's where our fears, our confusions, and our problems come from. From thetans. They're so fucking smart, aren't they? Oh, those guys are the best. I love South Park. Have you ever met those guys? Me? No.

Have they ever been to the Laugh Factory, or did they come in there? What's the guy's name? Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Trey Parker. I've met somewhere along the line. Oh, that's cool. I think he was producing a long time ago, maybe on Fox or something, or writing. So you used to open up for Cher.

Did you ever mess around with Cher? Did you ever get a part of that? Did I ever what? Like mess around with Cher? You mean like sexually? Yeah. No, not even close. No.

Wear her outfit with the butt? I remember one night we were working at the Mirage. And when we were working at casinos, we would see each other. Like at an arena, there would be a break after it. So I would never see her because she'd be putting on one of her wigs and her eyelashes and all that shit and she goes to me uh as we're walking walking by her she goes i can't believe you did a jizz over a hedge joke my grandmother's

here and i said i can't believe that your grandfather gets to see your ass right so later on that night we're downstairs at a party in her room and her grandmother says like almost like it was a sitcom she goes i love that bit you did about the hedge right i look at shara she goes you know what the fuck she was cool though yeah very cool you know it's so weird how people are like friend of mine is working with her they're doing a gig in russia soon and she you know i i mean she's very fucking talented you know obviously she's accomplished whether you like her or not and she's insecure about her voice you know and i'm i'm fuck i suck but i love to sing i'm singing with him with all my fucking i'm not insecure i don't but of course

she's famous you know as a singer but it's just so weird how people can be insecure. And we know this from any part of show business. The needy comedian, what do you think? Yeah. It's the worst. And unfortunately, there's a lot of us that I really like that are like that. They want to come up and say, is this good? Is this okay? Yeah, yeah.

I'm like, come on, man. Get out of here with that shit. Yeah. Go up there, dude. It's funny because the way we do stand-up, all of us together, it's kind of the same way. I mean, we all get together. We have these shows, whether it's Ari or Duncan or Joey or whatever. We're just hanging out, and then one of us will go on stage.

I mean, you've done these shows with us. Of course. Another one will go on stage. But every now and then, we'll bring someone new into the mix. And then they're like, is this any good? Man, shut up with this. What are you doing? Go up.

Just get, go up there. Come on, man. Joey was, both of them were on that show last night. Did they left, I think,

before you came in? No, I met Ari upstairs. They were both, they're both fucking really funny, but Joey was fucking high as a, I can't, his eyes were like closed.

He goes, I'm so fucking high, Dom. And he almost fell. I tell you, he almost fell off the fucking, he's a big boy. fell off the big boy big boy that's not good if he falls off that stage that's not a no no he was gonna fall backwards neither way he's good neither way but he would have killed those girls in the front he can you can break things i was i was i was watching those women when you were doing some of those bits and she they couldn't fucking help but laugh you know when you did the the the last bit but you know yeah yeah yeah they i loved watching i love

watching people who can't help laugh even though they think i've seen people shake their head and laugh i don't know you can't disapprove and laugh you're not allowed when you're out with co-workers yeah because you don't want those other ladies in your office to have you know like you're all on the the corporate ladder together you don't want them to ladies in your office to have, you know, like you're all on the corporate ladder together. You don't want them to have dirt on you. Yeah, we went there and you see this one, every fucking blowjob joke. She's laughing her ass off. But before you came in, I asked them something that you really shouldn't ask women.

You shouldn't ask them. I said, which one of you ladies do you think is the hottest? And also the least hot. And then one of them was their boss. Go leave her out of it then. She's the boss. But just like, I mean, obviously one of you is in a different league than the others. I mean, I could see.

And they were like fucking laughing. And each one of them was thinking, I wonder if it's me. Wow, that's funny. Yeah. I think they liked you, Tom Herrera. I love fucking with people. I love like... Interacting. Yeah. Yeah. I think they liked you, Dom Herrera. I love fucking with people. I love like... Interacting.

Yeah. Yeah. We're doing a show, Joe, and if you ever want to come in, I don't want to be a fucking plug machine, but it's going to be called Busting Balls with Dom Herrera. And we encourage interaction with the crowd. Yeah. You know how they say no talking during a show? I want you to fucking talk.

I want you to break balls. Really? Yeah, and then we'll have also an interview, and we can bust each other's balls, or we can be fucking goofy. So it's essentially not heckling because you're actually encouraging the interaction. Right, it's not heckling. So it's not like a regular comedy show. No.

That's going to confuse the shit out of your regular comedy club people. Well, but I'll say it at the beginning. But then they're going to want that kind of Dom Herrera action. They're going to want that spontaneous shit. I don't mind. You don't mind, do you? I don't like when bits get interrupted. I don't mind talking to people.

Yeah, that's what I mean. I love talking to people. Well, you don't get interrupted. Sometimes. Sometimes you do. You know, there's drunks, man. Drunks fuck up. Yeah, well, that's part Of our business

And they also want To like have an Interaction with you You ever have people Call out your bits Like you're not Doing enough You ever have that

Yeah they'll say Do that But you know You can't Fuck It's really hard To do a bit When someone asks

You can do it Because it's so Unspontaneous It's also really hard To do a bit When you know That they already Know it

Yeah It's like You know It's not the same as a song yeah it's weird because it was for dice right you know when dice was at his peak that's one of the things is everybody would like say the joke with him what's in the bowl yeah well you can also his audience was those inferior humans that i am a part of I was probably in the audience I went out to see Dice in Vegas I had a good old time

So he tried to bad mouth me on the show? No, he didn't bad mouth me And you were covering for me, you and Eleanor? I hear things Listen, you guys gotta hug it out We hug it out as two old school gangsters Dice is Dice, man We were friends at one time

Yeah, I know you were Yeah He's a good guy He's not a good guy one time. Yeah, I know you were. Yeah. Yeah. He's a good guy. He's not a good guy. I like him. Joe, he's not a good guy.

He's a good guy to me. He's a good guy to you. He's not a good guy. I'm a good guy. You're a great guy. I'm good to people. You're a great guy. He's not a great guy. If I had to choose between the two of you, I'd take you.

Me too. You guys are all getting in trouble now. You guys are just stopping. You guys are now getting in trouble. I love Dice. I do. I just wish that Dice and Dom Herrera has been my friend, my good friend since like 1990. I love Dice.

I'm a huge fan of his. I grew up being inspired by Dice. But I like Dom better. If you had to have sex with one of them. I'm not just saying that. But it's just because Dom is my very good friend. Dom and I play pool every week. I can't go without Dom.

Yeah, if you had to have sex with Dom or Andy. Andy Dick? Andrew. Dice Clay. Yeah. Oh, dice is much hotter than me. Beautiful. Yeah, but you're probably softer and cleaner.

Probably more of a challenge to hold dice down. Yeah. I think you'd be cleaner. Oh, that's what you consider sex? Well, for me, it's got to be some sport in it. I don't want to be fucking a dude. It's got to be a bit of a struggle, I think. I couldn't do it.

I couldn't get hard on seeing a hairy ass. You say that, but what if that became your thing? How's it going to become my thing? You have this one skyrocket orgasm because apparently a big dude like that can really clench down on his ass cheeks. Hey, anybody getting hungry and when you squirt you squirt like you've never squirted before

and then you just make a decision you know you should write poetry you've got a way with words he learned about fucking oh you know I try to get over that karma bit. It's tough for me with the Italian thing. What, him and?

No, I just hold grudges, you know. But I only have three. There's only three comedians I hate. Who are the other two? Craig Shoemaker and Bobby Collins. I can't believe you got that out of me. Boy, you really backed me into a corner. I don't know Shoemaker.

I've only met him once. Fucking asshole. What's wrong with Shoemaker? He's just a bragging cunt. And I said it with all due respect, Joe. He's just... I'll give you an example. I'm trying to clean up my karma a couple years ago.

They said, do you mind if... I draw pretty well in Atlantic City. So I'm going to do the regatta. And they said, do you mind if and i'm you know i draw pretty well in atlantic city so i'm gonna do the regatta and they said he might have shoemaker opens for you now he was getting 7500 to open so you know i was getting good money right so i said you know what fuck it clean up the karma let him open right that's 45 minutes instead of 25 to fuck me and you know what he said at the end he goes, I'll never work with you again. I said, why is that? And I'm thinking, you don't got a chance to work with me again.

He goes, because I can't believe you could follow me. What a fucking ego. What a jerk. So he was upset? He was upset because I followed him. He thought he buried me. So was he sort of jokingly praising you? No, he's just such a dick.

He wasn't joking at all. He just really thought nobody could follow him because he got a standing ovation. So I walked out. I go, look, a fucking guy opened for me. He got a standing ovation. What am I supposed to do, fly around a room? Right.

But they were there to see me. Right. So it was not hard to follow. It's really hard to bury someone when people are there to see you. Yeah, I know. And I didn't even lay into him, like what an asshole he was, telling him about the time. It was not hard to follow. It's really hard to bury someone when people are there to see you. Yeah, I know. He was just bad. And I didn't even lay into him, like what an asshole he was, telling him about the time.

Imagine doing 20 minutes over when you're opening for somebody. Just take the money and fucking run. Yeah, why did he do that? Did you ask him? No, because I just didn't want to communicate with him. I didn't want to fucking have a talk out with him because I don't want to be friends with him. Right. So that was it.

You were trying to clean up your karma and then I blew it and then I blew it with Bobby Collins that fucking dick face do you know him do you know him Bobby Collins

I don't know him very well I know him from seeing him around you could never Joe he's the exact opposite of you he doesn't have a

fucking honest bone in his body so fucking phony he's the kind of guy who'll go this guy Frankie who used to work at the comedy

connection frankie baby look at you lost weight frankie goes dumb i look like i'm gonna fucking explode i gained 100 pounds i saw this phony fuck but that's the kind of guy he was so he demanded to uh we were working together at staten island and i don't give a fuck about going on first i don't give i just want to get the money, have a good time, get out of there. And I was supposed to headline the show, and it said it in the contract. So Bobby Collins was throwing a fit about who was going to close the show. What are you watching? A picture of Bobby Collins.

Look at that phony fucking smile. Hi, guys. I'm a white boon. So anyway, he calls up. He wants to close because he went to sell merchandise after the show okay so the producer calls me they say call down he's a good guy oh fuck you don't care so she calls me and she goes you know do you mind if he closes i go look i'm a headliner i headline that you see what it says on the contract she goes i understand you're right i don't give a

fuck i'm kidding you i said i'll do a meet and greet at the beginning and then get out of there. I don't care. They're going to pay me. I'll do my best. Anyway, after that, a month later, Mike Ivey, my friend, my black friend from Mississippi, told me, you know, Nicky, I love you, brother. And he goes, Nicky, I got to ask you a question. Were you opening for Bobby Collins in Staten Island? I go, Mike, what do you think?

Right? So he goes, no. I said, well, it's not even worth talking about. So anyway, I see Bobby at the comedy store. I go, Bobby, you're fucking pathetic. Tommy, baby. I said, you're just pathetic. And then I walked away, and that was it.

So that's so much for cleaning up my karma. This isn't on the air, is it? I don't think so. OK. Bobby Collins to close the spring 2007 CFA season, the Laughter Arts Festival. What is that? What is the CFA? College of Staten Island.

That's where you guys were? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's funny. This is great. You can look this shit up. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry you had those bad experiences with those two guys. I bet you ironed it out by just outing them on the radio.

Do you ever have guys just come up to you for things you've said on podcasts yet? Because you've been very outspoken with like, you know. I'm on the edge. You know, but I love most people. Well, you're a very honest guy. If you tell me, you know, that someone's been a cunt to you, I always believe you. Yeah. I mean, I would never.

that someone's been a cunt to you. I always believe you. Yeah. I mean, I would never – I tried to like patch things up and I was right. I wish I was wrong. You know what I mean? I wish that it worked but it didn't work out. I mean, you know how many guys – look, these guys – oh, do we do the thing about Louis C.K.?

The shitty McCunting? No, you started it. Oh, okay. I was just talking about people I love. I don't know what happened. I mean, you and Louis and Bill Burr, some of the best comics in the world. Fucking Taj.

And Louis used to come into Montreal. Okay, so he'd be in the audience. And the character was Cunty McShipballs, like the grossest. And so I'd be hosting the show. I'd go, excuse me, I think we've got a celebrity in the audience. And he'd put his hand over his head and go, no.

I'd go, is that you, Cunty? Is that you? And he'd go, no, no, no. I said, Cunty McShipballs, everybody. Right, everybody, yay! Because we had plants all over the room. And then he happens to have a guitar up by his seat. I go, Cunty, how about a song?

No, I can't play it. Conti, Conti. The whole crowd's going. Then he comes up and does his fucking song. We used to cry laughing. That's hilarious. And I never seen Louis happier. He loved doing the character.

Conti McShitpuss. I don't know if he had a middle name. I've said this before. I'm going to say it again But Stanhope said this And I never agreed with him more He goes I could quit doing comedy

But I couldn't quit hanging out with stand-ups Yeah So just to have that kind of experience To be able to tell that story Oh yeah It's fucking fun And have that That's actually your job

That's what you do for work That's what you do for a living Yeah I mean what we did last night That was our job Yeah Dom and I worked together last night, that was our job. Dom and I worked together last night at the Laugh Factory.

Right. We worked. We worked. We were hanging out laughing. Yeah, we were just laughing. Yeah. And I remember hosting some shows thinking, this is what I do. You ever hear about the guy who sticks the Roman candle up his ass and they light it and it flares and he walks parades around.

There's no business like show business. Really? Yeah. Can you look him up? You got to see this. It's one of the funniest fucking things. He lights a Roman candle? He sticks it in his ass.

Oh, my God. Wait a second. He pulls large pieces of furniture out of his ass. Remember that from Jerky Boys? I'm also known for pulling large pieces of furniture out of his ass. My shoes. Thatky Boys? I'm also known for those large pieces of fur. My shoes. So I'll have them. Dude, I listened to some Jerky Boys the other day

and it was fucking hilarious. I forgot how funny some of their shit was. How did those guys stop doing that? What happened? They were so good. Because the rules change with telephone calls and people remember, then they changed it where you can only do it in Vegas. You can only do it in Nevada, like make prank calls.

Right, right, right. All kinds of legal shit. Plus, people started getting on to it because they were becoming famous. Right. That's why I wonder with the Impractical Jokers. You ever see that show? I haven't seen it. Check it out.

It's really fucking funny. Yeah, excellent. Did you hear about those practical jokers that the yeah committed suicide yeah in australia what what happened do you know the whole story yeah so there was a hospital the who who was there the queen the princess or whatever princess peach was at the hospital the duchess whatever all right yeah some royalty was there yeah and so uh this radio station had this prank where they're going to act like the the mom Princess Peach was at the hospital. The Duchess. Whatever. Some royalty was there. Yeah, and so this radio station had this prank where they're going to act like the mom, so I guess the queen, and they were trying to call her.

And so the operator, they called up and they were like, I would like to speak to my daughter or whatever. And the operator just let her through. Like, oh, yes, one second, please. Instead of like, you know, like, how do I know this is the right person and stuff like that? And then they did this prank on the radio station. And I guess, you know, because of the royalty. She betrayed the crown and she killed herself. If my granddaughter Kate, is my granddaughter Kate there, please? Or she was murdered.

That's what they said. They like immediately, the people in the phone really did immediately give up information about her. About her condition. They started just rattling off the information. They didn't double check at all.

They weren't even remotely suspicious. Talk about fucking up your day, though. I mean, everybody loses. Yeah. The girl's dead. The hospital security's questioned now. and these people lose their jobs.

Yeah. They just meant to get a laugh. Yeah, Morrissey is really interesting. You know, Morrissey, the singer, he's blaming Kate Middleton for the death. Because he's saying the arrogance of the British royals is staggering and that's why it's allowed. I really don't know. So he's saying that the recent story about the nurse killing herself, there's no blame placed on Kate Middleton who is at the hospital

for as far as I can see, no reason. She feels no shame about the death of this woman. She's saying nothing about the death of this poor woman. Boy, Morrissey needs a fucking hug. What a depressed guy. I mean, how does he know what another person feels? How can he say, like, she feels nothing? How can you really say that?

What does someone say when someone commits suicide over a prank like that? You can't say she feels no shame. She's saying nothing. Is she supposed to say something publicly about that? What obligations do you have? She has nothing to do with it. Yeah, she has nothing to do with it. What obligations does she have to comment on something that's obviously a horrific thing? And know to blame her that's so ridiculous silly morrissey the idea of the royal family is crazy though that the fact that we give a fuck cnn had it on it was the the problems in gaza okay cnn was talking about the dangers of gaza

showed like some night vision with a bomb going off and shit like that and then they said and you know royal kate whatever the fuck her name is, is pregnant. There will be another baby, a royal baby. Right next to it. Yeah, I know. And it stands because it sells. But it's on CNN. It's crazy.

Joe, I was in Canada. And when the Queen Mother died at 102, I had a bit about her. She looked 101, this whole thing. She died on a treadmill, her thing. But when I did it in Montreal, it got an applause. It's interesting how people react to royalty. When I did it in Ottawa, which is more mixed. Montreal is mostly French, French and English.

But they're not under the auspices of the crown by any stretch. Ottawa, a little bit of a laugh, a little mild applause. in French and English, but they're not under the auspices of the crown by any stretch. Ottawa, a little bit of a laugh, a little mild applause. Toronto, nothing. Nothing. Not a fucking sound. Really? Yeah, the American would have the arrogance to come up and do something against the queen.

Isn't that funny? Like the same fucking joke, just a couple hundred miles west, boom, nothing. It's very weird when you see people that are really like taken into the royal family thing. Yeah, yeah. The royals, like leave the royals alone. Oh, they live their lives. They read about them as if their thoughts are more important. Yeah, I was making fun of the queen when I was in England one time. I forget which town we were in.

But it wasn't like London. London, they probably would have laughed their asses off. But these people were like, what? Oh, yeah, you got to watch Manchester. Oh, my goodness. I don't remember what town it was. It wasn't Manchester. Maybe it was Newcastle.

Maybe it was Newcastle. Anyway, wherever I was, I had this whole bit about how people try to pretend that like that this queen, this woman was like really like a queen. Like, you know, that Princess Diana really was actually a princess. Like, no, that's just a person. Like she's a woman who didn't even have a job. And, you know, and she had a woman with children who tried to kill herself like three times. She had a woman with children who tried to kill herself like three times.

And I'm like, how many people would be in that same position and be incredibly fortunate and feel so happy that they have all this money? How many poor people would love to be in a great position of wealth? And she was like, oh, no. The tea is cold. The crumpets are stale. Where's the razor? I cannot possibly go on. The tabloid showed a photo of my backside.

Quickly drain the pool. I will die from the roof. This is horrid. Horrid life cannot go on. And I had like a whole series of those fucking things. And they didn't know how to react. Oh, yeah. They started. You could see people like, oh, oh, oh.

Well, it's because you're American, too. But they went with it. They went with it eventually. Eventually, I beat them down with it. Because it's just you're American too. But they went with it. They went with it eventually. Eventually I beat them down with it. Because it's just like, come on. It sucks when everybody dies. It's like this is not a – you don't need royals. You don't need the ancestors of the people who suppressed your ancestors and give them some special favors.

This is crazy. That's like – but they're holding on to that shit somehow or another. And they've gone from being these horrible dictators, which they used to be, to these weird sort of benevolent people who wave and hold some strange position of like a social example. An example of the perfect etiquette, the perfect

behavior. Yeah, I mean at least the Pope was elected. Yeah. Not that his wealth shouldn't be in question too but they were just born into it it's craziness and then marrying into it is even more hilarious they're always such a princess it's fucking nuts and everybody's following it i mean it's like so dumb who was the one that gave up the crown because he he what he he wanted to marry somebody remember the one of the guys gave up the crown can you imagine how fucking hot that bitch was in bed to give up the fucking crown yeah well i bet in england like being

a royal is what do you think is better though in england or like in like saudi arabia or something like that like a middle eastern country you say that though but those saudi arabian guys rock it way better yeah they the middle eastern, they rock it the right way. When they want to go balls out... Yeah, they do whatever the fuck they want. They pay girls hundreds of thousands of dollars to be sex slaves. And then they have discos... Yeah, I would say that's more fun.

Definitely. Because you're not judged as much. Nobody is rocking it like those young, chic dudes... ...that have those, like, that one guy, the Sultan of Bunai, that guy, he's the guy that has like the famous parties where he will fly out like the hottest women. Apparently it was like a dirty secret for the longest time. Pre-internet, he would get like all the hottest penthouse pets and actresses and shit that like weren't doing so well because you could go over there and you could make like an insane amount of money.

She's not doing so well. Give her a call. Yeah. And I'm not joking. Yeah. I did a gig with those guys, and they fucking sent me a watch that was worth like 20 grand. Like ridiculous. And they were asking me about Italian bits, which is so fucking funny from Saudis,

that they knew like Joey Bag of Donuts. That's funny. All this old shit. That's hilarious. Those guys have so much money that this guy, the Salt No Brunei apparently has a disco in his house. Makes his own disco, which is beautiful, unbelievably lavishly appointed disco. Gold gilded work on the ceiling.

It's magnificent. Yeah. And just filled with tens. Just tens everywhere. And this guy just goes out there and slides amongst them, has a cocktail, mingles, mixes with with the next group they're all trying to impress him and they're all trying to compete and it was him and a few of his friends I guess they just fucking bang him just every night and every night he's fishing in

this stock pond I mean it's really that nobody's ever been such a baller because he's not he's not actually enslaving anybody. He's paying them significant amounts of money. He's not corrupting their morals. They're willing to do this. There's nothing wrong with the exchange because the amount of money they're making is really fucking staggering. But when you really stop and think about like how many guys have ever done it like that, the Sultan of Brunei is probably doing it the nicest way ever. Everybody else did it. They did it with armies. Every other guy that ever done it like that? The Sultan of Brunei is probably doing it the nicest way ever. Everybody else did it.

They did it with armies. Every other guy that's lived like that, they did it with swords and conquering towns and keeping chicks in cages and shit. This guy just pays them stupid amounts of money based on oil money. That sounds like fun. I mean I think Prince Charles is kind of sad because he's at the point now where he's like, he loves his mother. But, you know, mom, could you die already? So I could be King Charles? I'd like to be king before I'm 70.

Do you think? If she lives to 100, what the fuck's going to happen to him? Yeah. She might outlive him. Yeah. It's possible. Oh, sure. But, you know, who's under more stress?

She's probably just nice and slow all day. Yeah. He's running around Doing shit Trying to fucking Make ends meet Trying to put food On the table

Dom Herrera That poor prince What does that guy do all day Prince Charles Prince being a prince I don't know Anal She's gonna play snooker

Did you say anal Yeah Did you look something up Yeah I was looking at Buttholes and fireworks And I just got really lost Oh it did And I found an old article That I where you were with Ellen doing comedy in Miami or something like that.

Did you ever bang her? Ellen DeGeneres? Yeah. Oh! Hey, talk to this weird child. I've got to take a leak. No, I never banged Ellen. No?

I love Ellen, though. I know. No, I worked with her. Did I work with her in Miami, too? It was something. It looks like it was 91 that you worked with her. I know I worked with her at Seizures in Atlantic City. 92 for HBO One Night Stand, maybe?

Oh, okay. Geez, I didn't remember Ellen doing it. I mean, I know she did one, but I didn't know she did it the same night as me. Maybe she did. But great stand-up, Ellen. Yeah. Did you ever know anyone that dated her? Or was she always

kind of like a lesbian into the comedy i didn't know you know i didn't know she was lesbian but i i certainly approve of it yeah who who was your gang like like you know when you were starting out shecky green bob hope bob hope really no okay come on that fucking old who is my gang uh well at the comic strip it was like seinfeld and paul reiser and mark schiff and these guys uh and at the improv uh was john mendoza carol siskin i don't know if you know those guys but they're good friends and uh but i would say jerry was the most famous that came out of that he was a little bit before me I was acting still

and Jerry was a stand up already I paid to see Dom Herrera before I ever did comedy if I had done comedy I'd only done it maybe once or twice how funny was that place Joe not only did I pay to see Dom Herrera at Knicks,

I paid two nights in a row because Dom couldn't make it one night and his plane was delayed or something like that. And Dennis Leary went up. And that's how I found out about Dennis Leary. And Dennis Leary became my favorite comedian for six months. But I paid to see Dom Herrera

before we were ever friends. Yeah, that place is a classic place. So these people, did they get fired or did they quit? They said that they were going to leave the radio show until it's, you know, kind of until a ship blows over. It's a tough place to rebound, too, because it's such a small country. Not in size, but in population. I don't think you can blame them. I don't think you can blame them. I don't think you can blame them.

No. The guy, they're just trying to be funny. Who would have thought that somebody would kill themselves? Yeah, they thought that they would have a conversation with somebody. It would have been silly. I mean they've done that before with other people. They did one of those with Sarah Palin. Remember those Canadian guys?

They called and they trolled Sarah Palin. Yeah, nobody killed anybody. And so they were okay. But this is not okay because the lady kills herself that's that's craziness man you can't blame these people you can say um hey you shouldn't do prank calls anymore but you i don't think these people should even be fired it's really what they did was not a bad thing it was a silly thing but it's not a bad thing the woman was in the hospital because she wasn't feeling well it wasn't like you know like there had been some horrible accident and they were keeping medical attention from her that was going to save her life and it led to her death. There was no obstruction

of health services. It was just a silly thing. You can't blame these people for a fucking silly thing. No, I agree. I mean you don't know it's going to backfire that much. It's absurd. A bunch of pussies. But Morrisseyrissey oh how annoying must that guy be apparently morrissey is a super vegan and not only is he a vegetarian but he won't let anyone on his crew eat any animals either so the crew guys will like get together they'll meet in one guy's room and they order a bunch of burgers for room service and they hide and one guy watches the door i'm not bullshit coming and i'm not bullshitting and they they have to uh they have to have a fucking backup plan if marcy uh comes and finds

him in their room i love the honey bit by the way that's great never thought of that never thought of that yeah vegans aren't supposed to eat honey they're silly bitches now i'm sorry that i mentioned those guys names because you said it you know i forget how powerful this show is. Now everybody's going to know who they are. Oh, well. Made them more famous. Oh, well. Oh, boy. Do you have any response to Dom Herrera calling you a cunt?

Dom and I, we just need to get on the phone together. Come on. He's kidding. We bust balls. Hey, I was kidding. We bust balls. I was speaking of busting balls. I was listening to, did you listen to, you been listening to ona at all uh no because i don't have i only have satellite in my old car oh you gotta get it you gotta get it i have a tape deck of mine why don't you get in your new

car is your new car satellite ready yeah yeah just order it up bitch what the fuck you doing they do it it's really funny lately uh well it's always funny but lately uh they had on joe piscopo oh wow and uh they they you know they were busting joe piscopo's balls on the air it was fucking about what the muscle man thing well they what they did was they played some shit from like the 1990s when he was in love with this girl and he had like some show and like he sang for like he really sang like to her and now and now apparently 20 years later um he he's uh got these they've got restraining orders against each other for domestic abuse they both have restraining orders against each other and it's like that simplifies it and and you know he's got he became like joe piscopo became like this weird sort of a caricature of who he used to make fun of.

Like that whole I'm from Jersey. Well, now it's like it's really weird. He's become that? Yeah. And he does like these Joe Piscopo shows, his live shows places. And he fills up these really small places. And he's kind of scratching by. Right, right.

And it's weird like hearing him get fucked with by opie and anthony was like really painful like they were why would he get why would he do the show because it gets it gets people paying attention to them and people go see him look even as a goof i mean look i would go see it if i knew he was going to be in town i would go see it i would go see it even if i didn't i i will go see a lot of things that i i'm pretty sure gonna suck you know if it's going to be an experience. Comedically, though, you could sit through it? I don't think it's comedy.

I think he's singing. I think he's singing songs. I don't really think he's doing comedy. I think he's doing a lot of Sinatra songs and shit like that. He never really did stand-up. He did character impressions of the sportscaster. Dom, I'm an entertainer. I'm an entertainer, Dom.

I'm a triple threat. But having him- He does Sinatra. He does Sinatra. Who else does he do there? The artist, the comedian. What does it say? The comedian, the performer.

Is that his website? From Bruce Springsteen to Sinatra, Joe will take you in the audience on a thrill ride through memory lane full of surprises. Spacing your seat belts, folks. I think he's mostly doing impressions and shit. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, it's like an entertaining show. Look at him there.

Don't mind me. I'm over here. But if you don't want to subscribe to Sirius, I'm sure you can listen to some of the clips online. People take them. Fans do. And they put them on YouTube. Is our show still on here?

He was one of the reasons I started. What's that? Is this podcast on here? Oh, yeah. All the time, man. Every weekend? He was one of the reasons I started doing stand-up. That's hilarious because he was so bad. I was getting hired for Saturday Night Live because Eddie Murphy liked Joe. The only two people they kept. I got hired by Saturday Night Live but they changed

producers and Eddie Murphy liked Joe. They were friends and they kept Joe because of Eddie. Joe was fine on the show. And they kept Joe because of Eddie. And Joe was fine on the show. I don't mean to put him down. But I thought to myself, fuck this. I can do that.

I can do stand-up. I became a stand-up because I didn't want to deal with the fucking agents and shit. What year was this? 1980. Wow. So that's when you started stand-up. Yeah, I passed at the improv. And see, I passed right away because I was already a polished performer, not to be a jerk, but I had done so much acting and improv that stand-up, I was really okay.

I just had no act. And I couldn't understand how stand-ups had to repeat themselves to hone it. That was the tough part for me. So Piscopo never did stand-up. Yeah, he did. Did he? But he used to do this thing where he'd come in and you could see right through it. And then you'd go, hey, everybody, I just stopped in to say hello.

And they'd be clapping. In other words, I'm saying hello, which is good enough. Now, if I happen to be funny, great. But don't expect me to be funny because I'm on Saturday Night Live. Oh, so that's what he would say. Yeah, I just stopped in to say hello. When he was really famous. How famous was he at one point?

He was really famous, right? He was famous enough to be on Saturday Night Live, you know, like he was a pretty big name. Well, I know who he is. I mean, I knew who he is when I was in high school, so he must be he must have been really famous. That was 80? Is that what that was? That was 80 from 80 on, a few years after that. I don't remember what happened to him after that.

He was always a nice guy. You know, I mean, I just I don't think stand-up was his thing. It was impressions. But just listening to ONA tear him apart was so brutal. Well, he's from a different era. He's more Sinatra era kind of. Yeah.

Even though he's younger than that. Reading his tweets about it, like trying to sort of justify it and everything. It's just like – he's like – he sacrifices himself so that he can get that attention, but that is really the only attention that he's getting, really, if you stop and think about it. Without that kind of stuff, without Opie and Anthony, I mean, they really are helping him out. And Jim Norton actually put it on his tweet, like, go see him.

Oh, that was nice. He's such a good guy, Norton. Norton's a sweetie. He's a great guy. He really is. He's my favorite pervert. He is. Because he's so unabashed and unapologetic about it.

When he talks about meaty pussies, you can see his little hands getting sweaty and his body starts squirming. Getting dumped on. That even makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, he's not playing it clean. He's done some wild shit yeah literally i was i was doing a jimmy fallon show uh about a month ago and my friend you know some people have no tact and i love jim but you know nobody really wants to look like jim you know not that anyone wants to look

like me either but she says to the guy who's a club owner of Governor's and Brokerage where I was playing out on the island. She goes, you really look like Jim Norton. He goes, no, I don't. She goes, yeah, you do. You remind me of him. I go, Joanne, let it go. Nobody wants to. If you're going to say you look like somebody, you say you look like Tom Hanks or not Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise or whatever.

Somebody who's supposed to be good looking. You don't say Jim Norton. How rude. I wouldn't go to somebody saying looking. You don't say Jim Norton. How rude. I wouldn't go to somebody saying, boy, you look like Don Marrera. You're a spitting image of him. Nice little puffy overweight.

I like that look. When you see those pictures of you back in the day, Don Marrera, that video that we had on earlier, does it make you want to go hit that treadmill? Yeah. There's Jim. that was a cover of one of his one of his CDs I think or his book I think his book yeah he's funny he's a little Joe the problem is I have a deli platter right at the end

come on you know what I do that I do exercise that's the thing I when I go to like get my annual treadmill test and all i'm fine i'm great in great shape it's just eating and drinking so much yeah you know and the hours the comedian lifestyle my friend i'm too happy yeah what did uh christopher hitchens say when he uh he got cancer and died he said he burnt the candle at both ends but what a what a lovely glow it made but i don't burn it at both ends because i i get plenty of rest so that's okay i'm not saying it's okay but it's better than not resting too uh do you take care of your health at all do you like you would take vitamins or do you eat healthy yeah yeah yeah i do you know what we just read yesterday that pizza was an anti-carcinogen because the effect i i hope this is true the

effect of the melted cheese on cooked tomatoes was somehow uh like esophagus cancer was like down 50 percent and a bunch of things uh you know if you can find it it was great because it's like liberated us i know there's a uh there's a nutrient in cooked tomatoes that uh apparently only it's only uh in cooked tomatoes that it has a certain effect uh where is it lycopene yeah you gotta um you have to cook it to get lycopene and lycopene is how you turn into a werewolf does it sound like like it? Lycan? Lycopene? You hear me? You follow me? Like lupus? I don't know.

I'm talking about werewolves down there. Lycopene is apparently, it reduces the risk of breast, prostate, colon, and other cancers. A powerful antioxidant. Let's get a pie, for Christ's sake. That's why Italians live so long down my way, am I right? That's right. I'm putting sauce on everything over here. I'm putting sauce on that, a little gravy on this.

Take some home with you. I made gobbledygots for you, you son of a... That's when you know they're legit, when they call it gravy. Yeah. My grandmother always called it gravy. Get him some gravy. Get the gravy. gravy get them some gravy get the gravy yeah the only time we called the sauce was uh was like um

a totally different thing yeah like gravy and also was like turkey gravy right you know that kind of gravy but great but red sauce was great still gravy yeah it was never sauce you never called the red sauce and you never had white sauce get the fuck out of here with that what are you a prima donna yeah what do What do you want, olive oil with garlic? What do you want, a hamper fag? Should I fucking massage you while you have that? You can get that. Look at this sexy bitch right here. Jesus Christ, you sexy bastard.

Look at you. Sexy motherfucker. Look how beautiful you are. I said I love my cat. You know those people that always have to. All right, all right. Why are you putting me on? All right, all right, all right.

You're a cat material for Christ's sake. All right, all right. How dare Brian, Brian. Doing cat material for Christ's sake. Brian, Brian, Brian. You're killing me. Wait until I leave. He's an all-time great, and you're being very disrespectful. Do you still have a cat? Do you still love your cat? I'm not going to talk to you.

You're not going to lead me into a bit. Well, if you want to talk to Brian, he will be at the American Comedy Company tonight in San Diego. All right. I make it. You feeling good for that trip? You feel better now, right? I feel like I could drive, definitely.

I feel great, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stay there tonight, though. Make sure you stay over there. Don't try to drive back tonight. No. Don't do that, dude. Good luck with the show.

Thanks, man. And Tony Hinchcliffe is on. He's a fucking hilarious up-and-coming stand-up comedian. We've had him on a bunch of the Death Squad shows at the Ice House. He's hilarious. Really good dude, too. Sarah Tiana, also very funny, also very cool. We've also had her on the Ice House Chronicles as well.

Billy Bonnell, who's a hilarious comic. And if you use the coupon code ENDOFDAYS right now at American Comedy Co., you get two-for-one tickets for the first ten people. Yeah, so that's an excellent show tonight, San Diego. San Diego is really – there's quite a few comedy opportunities in San Diego. I love it down there. There's two good clubs. There's the American Comedy Club and there's American Comedy Company and then there's Madhouse.

Madhouse, I heard, is awesome. And I like the La Jolla Comedy. And I did a theater there. Oh, a comedy store? Yeah. I don't remember the theater's name, but I did a theater there. But it was, whatever it was, it was fucking awesome. Yeah.

It was a big-ass place. It was beautiful. They're so happy down there. Fucking San Diego is great. I mean, it's a little weird because you're right next to Mexico, and you get a lot of people that come over from Tijuana to watch the show. Really? That was cool as fuck.

I met a lot of people from Tijuana, and they were telling me, like, while we were taking pictures together, hey, man, we came from Tijuana. I'm like, damn, you could just come over? Like, I was under the impression that it was like really difficult you couldn't just like go out for a night in san diego if you live in tijuana like they wouldn't let you because they would think why would you come back yeah yeah you know but no you these dudes they were like legit they had passports the whole deal and they they went uh that's cool yeah those guys are coming tonight bring me some i get the radio

that was the balboa theater it was pretty awesome but yeah you can uh dude me to see Viagra. So I'll get the radio. That was the Balboa Theater. It was pretty awesome. But yeah, you can get Viagra here. I'm just kidding. You don't want that Mexican Viagra, too. It might not be real. Hey, I got Bill Burr on the show tomorrow night. Oh, Dom Herrera with Bill Burr. What kind of a show is this?

This is craziness. Busting balls with Dom Herrera at the Laugh Factory, 8 o'clock. And so this is your show that people are allowed to come in, and they're allowed to yell out and say things. And what time does it start? 8 o'clock tomorrow night. F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F F Wow, I might go by and watch that as a spectator. Hey, if you want a spot, you know it's open to you. I need to start hanging out there. It seems like everyone's hanging out there now. Well, we went there last night. Last night was great. We could definitely make that place do better. It's like you need a lot.

You know, like the crowds are small. Like for the Sunset Strip, I mean, we packed the Ice House. Yeah. And that's how we the fuck got in Pasadena. They didn't even know you were going to be on until 4 or 5 o'clock. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like we could have promoted that. Yeah. Tiffany Haddish is always there.

She's one of the only people that went through that camp, that comedy camp that's a comic. I told her. She was hot then. Oh, that's hilarious, man. Well, it's a great club.

The Laugh Act is great. If we could somehow sedate Jamie so he can't talk to us anymore. We've got to figure out a way. We've got to do my podcast with just me and you. Yes, we do.

We'll do it next week. I've got a couple days open next week. Next week's the end of the world tour. It's only one day. It's not really a tour. It's the end of the world show with Mad Flavor aka Planet Rock aka Joey Diaz and Doug Stanhope

and Honey Honey Band. We're going to have Doug Stanhope. That's a great show. And Honey Honey Band. We're going to have them on the podcast next Monday. Honey Honey. I can't wait to see it. Honey Honey Band. They will be here or Ice House. Probably do it at Ice House. Probably Ice House.

We'll do it at Ice House because we've got the good internet. You ever do Tampa? Yes. Yes, I've done Tampa. Did Bobby Jules? I did. No, I did the improv. The improv in Tampa.

Oh, okay. I did the side splitters. My folks used to live out there. They used to live in Clearwater, where all the scientists, the Scientologists are, by the way. That's in Tampa. Oh, okay. I do the side splitters. My folks used to live out there. They used to live in Clearwater where all the scientists, Scientologists are, by the way. It's where the Phillies train

if it matters. Maybe they're Scientologists too. Maybe that's why they do so well. I'm doing that club in January with his Knoxville club which is funny because I can't draw

a fucking person in Nashville. In Knoxville, I sold out. Nashville's tricky. Why would I sell it in Knoxville? I don't know,

but Nashville is particularly tricky apparently for comedy. Yeah. I don out. Nashville's tricky. Why would I sell out Knoxville? I don't know, but Nashville is particularly tricky, apparently, for comedy. Yeah. I don't know why. Yeah. Yeah, there's cities where it's tough. You know, it's hard to, you know, they don't have a comedy community, and it seems like that wouldn't really make sense. I mean, I guess it does, and if you're like a... They're so hung up on music, you know.

Yeah. It's such a music town, I guess. But, I mean, if you're like a really big name actor... But if you're a Southern actor, they like you. They like the Southern acts, and yeah, guys like Louis. Well, actor. But if you're a Southern actor like you, they like the Southern acts. And yeah, guys like Louis. Well, who's like an example of a Southern actor? Like Rodney Carrington.

Like Jeff Foxworthy. Jeff Foxworthy. Those guys. Larry the Cable Guy. Larry the Cable Guy. Well, he crosses a lot of lines. Larry the Cable Guy. Oh, yeah.

They love him up in Michigan and shit. Yeah, because he's so blue collar. You know, it's so funny. He doesn't talk like that at all. At all. I love him. Yeah. And some people have gotten insulted because he doesn't talk like that.

Are you leading me on, boy? Well, sir, I'm just here to make some money. Yeah, I met him at Montreal Comedy Festival way, way back in the day. Really nice guy, man. Him and Tosh used to hang out at the West Palm Club. It was called Comedy Corner. That's where I got to know those two guys. Do you know Josh Wolfe?

I don't think so. Josh Wolfe was open for Larry the Cable Guy and he was showing me photos of it, of being in a football arena. Oh my God. It was like 50,000 people to see Larry. You know what's so funny? He was such a normal act as himself.

Yeah. He wasn't bad, but he wasn't good. As Larry the Cable Guy, he hooked into something brilliant. Yeah. And he's great at it. He's great. He's't bad, but he wasn't good. As Larry the Cable guy, he hooked into something brilliant. And he's great at it. He's so fucking silly. He found that character. Remember this? Muscle Fitness with

Joe Piscopo on it. It looks like his head is implanted on a muscle man's body. Wow, he's in fucking killer shape back then. He's probably roiding Joe Piscopo. That's Johnny Dangerous. The girl's like fucking killer shape back then. Yeah. He's probably roiding. Oh, yeah. Joe Biscopo. Look at that girl. That's Johnny Danger Sleeve.

That girl is like trying to take him down. Yeah. And he's holding onto her hand. What kind of a fucking, what is that statement? Why is she behind him? She should be holding him in front of him. It looks like they photoshopped the cock out. It's a weird thing.

They probably did. They smoothed over his dick. Those were darker days. People didn't have as many cocks in their life as they have today. Anybody who's on the internet, it's my golden rule of the internet if you have a photo on the internet somewhere someone has photoshopped a dick in your mouth it's just a fact there's no getting around that i think that's better for everybody i was watching the show that was talking it was that uh you ever watch that morgan freeman show through the wormhole

no he narrates it oh yes it's like a science discovery or one of those yeah it blows it's mind-blowing if you haven't uh dvr'd it folks it's a must dvr especially when you you know like if you're looking for something really freaky to watch two o'clock in the morning and they were talking about the fact that just by virtue of the laws of probability this uh i think that's what they were citing that because of the fact that the universe may be infinite and what that means is that you know we have an idea that the universe is like 14 billion years old and it's start there's a lot of people a lot of these physicists that actually think that instead of it being finite like you can measure the distance of the internet that it

might be infinite and if it is infinite i have no idea i don't understand any of it i don't understand how it could be 14 billion years old. I don't understand how it could have been born. It looks great for 14 billion. I don't understand how it could have not existed and then existed. I really don't understand it. But what I do know is that what this guy was saying was that if the universe is infinite, that means there's not just one but several versions of you exactly out there

just because of the laws of the fact that there are so many variables. It's like what they showed is they showed this giant pattern of rocks, like this huge pile of rocks, and they were showing that if you get like this, there's like one blue rock, one white rock, one black rock. Like in this order right next to each other, in this massive pile of rocks, you're going to have this occur X amount of times.

It's just inevitable. It just will occur. And he walks around and he picks it out. And then they were starting to talk about the distance of infinity and the idea of the infinite and the idea that if that is the case, there is so many possibilities that every like one X amount of trillion light years, there will be another Dom Herrera. Exactly. I hope he lost weight. You know what I can't fathom?

186,000 miles a second, I believe the speed of light is. And they say light years. And then they say a trillion light years. That's fucking unf unfathomable i think it was several trillion light years it was like a hundred trillion light years or something like that uh i can't my mind can't no we can't 93 million miles is the sun i can understand that 93 million i can deal with that right you know there's 24 000 miles around 93 million all right the sun but fucking years? Well, what's really fucked up is- Blow me, universe. Is that if the universe is infinite, when you get to one trillion light years, you're not even like one millionth of one percent done.

A year of like- It never ends. So it doesn't matter. It's like it will go on literally forever. So how could we get cocky? I don't know. How could we get cocky? I think you know what's helped people get cocky cities i think lights you know like light pollution

we have this full security yeah yeah i think those old cavemen people like they they had a great reverence to to the sky because like at night time the shit was overwhelming yeah like you would have sun in the daytime and then at night time there there had to be nights back when there was no pollution whatsoever, especially high-altitude people, where they must have just seen everything in the sky. Oh, yeah. It would be lit up. Everything. So the reverence that they must have had for their journey on this biological spaceship, this organic spaceship hurling through the galaxy, I mean it must have been far greater than ours now. So like as we develop more and more technology that allows us to do more and more things that make us almost superhuman in our abilities as far as like our ability to send information, receive information, get questions answered, learn things, transmit data, photos and videos. It's like unprecedented. Like nothing has ever even been close to this before.

And when you see that, like it's nothing has ever even been close to this before and when you see that like it it really makes you wonder it really makes you wonder it really makes you wonder if like while we're doing that and then while we're blocking out all this sun with all this light and get all this light pollution and then we have all this actual pollution where we don't see the mountains you know that weird feeling that you get in la where you can't see the mountains then one day it rains and all of a sudden you see fucking mountains everywhere you know that weird feeling that you get in LA where you can't see the mountains? Then one day it rains. And all of a sudden- You see fucking mountains everywhere. Yeah, you're coming down sunset and there's a snow-capped mountain.

And you're like, wait a minute. What the fuck? It's so trippy. Who put that up? But it's like, think about that. The areas where human beings are at their biggest, the areas where they're at their most overpopulated, you're also at your most disconnected from nature. You're most disconnected from the view of space

because of the light pollution. You're most disconnected from the view of the mountains because of the pollution. It's really fascinating because that sort of mindset comes out of the lack of reverence for nature, the moron mindset of the city. That's like the lack of respect for the fact that this thing is...

We don't even deal with nature. It crazy because it all it all happens in this big pile and it's easy to do like if you live in Manhattan and you take the subway to work and you fucking buy your food at this grocery store on the block and your partners look up yeah why bother what do you give a fuck the foods there you go you pay you go to your job you get your money you pay for your groceries why even pay attention to where it's being farmed wait why even pay attention to pesticides genetic genetically being farmed? Why even pay attention to pesticides, genetically modified foods,

or who has to go to war to control what part of the world? Why give a fuck? That's the weird sort of an arrogance that develops in some place where you don't, you're not connected to it. It's like we're developing things in these cities where we're escaping the connection of nature and creating it ourselves. People that have those indoor greenhouses and shit.

There's something badass about it, but there's something crazy. Why you got all this food under lamps and stuff in a basement? I have a friend who would grow vegetables in his basement. What's wrong with the dirt? Put your shit in the dirt. What are you doing? with the dirt put this put your shit in the dirt what are you doing well some of us because they can't connect they can't uh you know raise things in the winter that kind of oh yeah yeah yeah oh definitely yeah yeah nobody knows more about agriculture than me and you cold climate yeah

i wonder i watched those uh those alaska shows where people are like preserving all their food and getting ready for the the cold yeah How the fuck did people land there? How did those guys, the Eskimos and all, why would you stop there? The Induit, whoever. The Induit. What are they called? Inuit. I'm the idiot.

Well, where it came from was the people that came down the Bering Strait, the same people that populated North America before the Europeans. They walked. Yeah, but wouldn't you keep walking until you got a little warmer? Yeah, I would say so, but they might have found a good chick that doesn't mind the cold, and they started fucking. They had some kids, and they couldn't

move until the kid got older, and they said, listen, I know how to catch seal. Let's just stay here. Yeah, we've got to make fires every night, but so what? We'll make a fire. I figured out how to make igloos it's beautiful well there's a place in siberia called the taigao and there's this guy you ever um see that documentary grizzly man no you ever heard of werner herzog the documentarian he's got a bunch of really good documentaries he's famous for his documentary the most recent one was about the can you see that one about the cave paintings cave paintings in France,

the really ancient, incredible cave paintings. But anyway, this Herzog guy, he's a really good documentarian, and he had this thing about people that live in Siberia. It was like happy people, life on the taiga, and it's all about these people that just fucking trap and fish. That's still their culture? Yeah, that's all they do. That's all they do.

And they trap and that pays for like chainsaws and shit like that. They're tools. They're essential tools. And then from that, they just fish and trap and hunt all year. That is their entire existence. And apparently, it's like no mental problems. People are fairly healthy life is clear to them yeah it's life is clear and um they they actually enjoy it like

they were all getting together and they were talking about how what good fun hunting is that's all they did they fished and they hunt it's a good idea and they have to store up a certain amount of meat so from that show i started getting obsessed with all these other Alaska shows. And this show Mountain Men, where this one dude's living in North Carolina, another dude's living in Montana, another dude was living in Alaska. But the guy living in Alaska is living the craziest fucking life. Because this guy is a trapper, and he flies on a little plane hours into the wilderness, hours, and then lands.

And he has the same spot he lands every year he's got this clearance that he's made and he has a trail that he's made and he is a trap trail so he takes this trail with a snowmobile and leaves traps all along the way and then comes back every day or every couple days whatever and collects the dead animals and he stays up there for months no people just by himself in a log cabin it's crazy like you're watching this guy's life and you go whoa that's where your coat comes from like that is some that's a crazy lifestyle choice that's a crack silver he'll go well stand up comedy it's got to be the hardest thing in the world i'm thinking look at his life i'm obsessed

with these shows man i'm upset i'm obsessed with the idea of subsistence living yeah living off the land these people living off the land it's amazing and alaska the last frontier is the best one because they got really intelligent people that's a new discovery channel show they have these really smart fucking people like you're hearing them talk and like these are not uneducated people they're they're smart people that have lived several generations up there in alaska their family was uh escaping uh war-torn europe and so they moved to alaska to be homesteaders they got like this giant piece of land started growing cattle out there so crazy fucking reality that these people live but again they seem pretty fucking happy man have you been up there no never, never been to Alaska.

It's supposed to be amazing, though. Yeah. It's supposed to be some real game-changing shit. Like when you see the wilderness up there. It's amazing that it's a state that's so far away.

They say eagles are everywhere there. Yeah. Have you ever seen any of those videos of eagles swarming where the fishermen go? I've never seen a swarm of eagles. Dude, it's crazy. I'll pull up a video.

I'll get... Here, I'll do it so we don't destroy the internet. Look for... You should bring your 3G card while you... Yeah, I have mine. I have it here. I should lock it in. But anyway, they...

What are you going to Google? What's the exact term? Swarm of eagles butthole Yeah, no, swarm of eagles, salmon, Alaska They swore I mean, you can't believe it You're talking about like 30 or 40 bald eagles They're sitting on this lawn It's incredible

It's really one of those uh things that if you didn't see it on a video you would think it'd be fake but apparently people that go up there say that's really what they're like up there there's a shitload of eagles but you still can't kill them if you kill them it's called a shitload no it's like a gaggle or a flock I don't think that was it, Brian. It was a – here, I'll Google it real quick. It's crazy to watch. Swarm of eagles Alaska. Eagles is called a swarm? Eagles on lawn.

Let's see. Yeah, eagles on lawn. How bad are you at Google, son? You just go eagles on lawn, first video, over 30 bald eagles in the backyard. It's these people, they just got back from fishing. And so they take these salmons and the salmon bodies, and they throw the body to the fish after they filleted it, and they're feeding the eagles.

It's fucking crazy, man. Where do you see all these fucking things? Take that one up there on that roof. Let's go find some bald eagles. Look at this. Look at that. They have a whole yard and all of the roof behind the yard.

Yo, if they swarmed on you, they could fuck you up. Oh, so could seagulls. Yeah, but eagles really could, man. Look at all of them. It's amazing. Those are bald eagles. I never saw anything like that.

That's crazy. Well, people in Alaska, man, you get to see shit like this. Yeah, you do live in the frozen wilderness, but you get to see shit like this. This is a trip. No, they're not protected up in Alaska. Oh, yeah. Yes, they are, man. They're protected everywhere,

but this is a part of your reality if you live up there. Look at this reality. Your reality is you're surrounded by bald eagles and mountains, and especially like right now in the summer, it must be awesome. The thing is, like,

look at these kids walking up. Wow, I would not let my kid go near a fucking eagle. I would have a shotgun trained on those punks. Because eagles have carried off babies before. Yeah, that's true, right? Oh, yeah. All these eagles could just take these children and eat them. There's an old picture of an eagle trying to carry off a child.

There's a video of eagles killing wolves. Eagles, huh? You gotta see that. Look at these fucking eagles. That kid has no idea how different his life is. Yeah. Well, they don't have any idea how weird it is to see a gang of eagles in your backyard.

That's crazy. 30 eagles. I thought they were solitary animals. I didn't know they flew together. I think there's so much salmon in Alaska that when the salmon is running, apparently they go bananas and they just all get together and say, fuck it. Ari Shafir did stand up in Alaska and went salmon fishing and he said it's the craziest thing he's ever done in his life. He said it was amazing. I shouldn't say it's the craziest thing he's ever done in his life because that wouldn't be that

wouldn't be true but he said it was amazing and they would eat raw salmon right from the the side of the boat they would just slap the salmon down cut it open take chunks out of it and just eat it that's correct he said it was delicious so it's like the greatest sushi you could ever eat in your life you think that's gross but yeah you eat, I know. I just don't like the faces. Explain yourself, son. I don't like faces. Oh, the faces? You don't like being

responsible for their death? Yeah. Have you ever killed a fish? Oh, yeah, yeah. I've been fishing, all that shit, but... You always feel bad? Yeah, I don't know.

I don't feel like it. Yeah, not me. Not fish. I don't really feel bad about fish at all. I mean, I don't want them to be tortured, but I would eat the shit

out of them. If you hook them in their mouth, you're already starting to torture. Well, someone sounds like a vegan. No, I'm just saying. Mr. Herrera, spokesperson for PETA for fish. People for ethical treatment of fish. I like to think of it. That's what cracks me up about people that only, they're pescatarians.

Yeah. It's like, how do you know a fish doesn't have fucking bad feelings? Someone said this to my wife. She said fish don't raise their babies. I went, whoa. Is that true? Even dolphins? Dolphins aren't fish.

Oh, yeah. They're mammals. But she said – No, there's dolphins that are fish too. What? There's dolphins that are fish and there's dolphins that are mammals. Oh, yeah. Dolphins are mammals.

Mahi-mahi actually. They call them dolphin fish. Yeah, I oh yeah you're thinking of uh mahi mahi actually they call them dolphin fish yeah i know what you're talking about yeah that's funny because i read that in a magazine once when i was just starting to fish and i was like what people fish for dolphins that's crazy it's not the same dog but it's not it's actually a fish yeah it's not the flipper type dog no yeah it's not really called uh dolphin very often it's mostly called mahi mahi i do it occasionally on the broadcast. You're a crazy man. You don't give a fuck, Tamer. Silly, silly. He's out on the edge.

Alright, Brian has got to get the fuck out of here. We've got to send this son of a B all the way down to San Diego tonight. American Comedy Company, 8 o'clock show, folks. Tony Hinchcliffe, Sarah Tiana, Jason Tebow, Billy Bonnell, Billyy bonnell and what is the uh the way

they can uh save some money if if you go to american comedy co and to buy your tickets if you use the coupon code end of end of days i believe it is let me just double check the end of days would give you two for one uh tickets that's what we're talking about folks we're talking about end of days so if it is all over what do you want to do tonight? Do you want to stay home and watch TV or go out and get your fucking freak on? Okay? Go out and get your freak on. It's going to be fun. Should be fun. Alright, we will be back Sunday

at 4 in the afternoon. A very odd show with a very odd gentleman. That will be Dennis McKenna. And that will be, that's going to be really interesting. I'm very curious to talk to him. It should be incredibly fascinating. If you don't know who he is, he's the brother of one of the most famous psychedelic adventurers of all time. Dennis McKenna is Terrence McKenna's brother,

and Terrence McKenna is responsible for probably some of the most influential works on psychedelics ever, the most influential points of view, and Dennis was with him through a lot of that stuff. And he's got a book on it now. Some strange name to the book. Brotherhood of the Screaming Abyss or something like that. Sweet Dolphin Kisses. I don't think that's in there. Hold on.

Let me, Dennis McKenna book. I want to make sure I. Don Marrera on Twitter. And that's D-O-M-I-R-R-E-R-A. At Don Marrera. Yeah, this is what's important, ladies and gentlemen. The two R's is first. And please come and see me at Good Nights.

Let me pack the place on New Year's Eve. I'm happy to go back to North Carolina. Yeah, that's a good club. Charlie Good Nights. We did Raleigh recently. Raleigh's fun, man. Brotherhood of the Screaming Abyss. That's the book.

If you want to read that book before the interview, it might be interesting to give you a little perspective if you're down with it. But Dennis is a brilliant, brilliant guy. And he's an – I don't even know how to say this – ethnopharmacologist and an author and a well-known psychedelics proponent. It should be fascinating. He's a brother to a well-known psychedelics proponent. I don't know if he's a proponent himself. He's probably a bit hedgy. He's a scientific man, a brilliant gentleman.

This comes in. I'm just a gamer, Joe. Not sure why you want me to come here. Whoops, wrong guy. And again, next week, after Dennis, which is on Sunday, Monday we got Honey Honey, and some on Tuesday. I forget. Well, we'll figure it out.

All right, you dirty fucks. Listen, you guys have been fantastic. Thanks, everybody. Thanks to Onnit.com. Yeah, them too. Yeah. Thanks to

Bladeslinger. Bladeslinger. Yeah, it's a great game. It's from Kerosene Games. It's available on the iTunes Store. Yeah, it's only $2.99 and Kerosene Games, which is our... Yeah, how do a great game. It's from Kerosene Games. It's available on the iTunes Store. Yeah, it's only $2.99. And Kerosene Games, which is our – yeah, how do you go wrong there, son? Losing money by not buying.

Yeah, it's – they're the latest sponsor of this podcast. And Kerosene Games are committed to making all of their games originally for iPad and iPhones. And now they're in the middle of developing it for the high-end Android devices that'll be January in February but it's a cool game it's great graphics it's again designed for the iPad it's not ported over there designed for it and it's only $2.99 and they're supporting the podcast so go go check that shit out throw throw three bucks that way pick yourself up a dope-ass game if you're into some entertaining time killing.

And next Tuesday, the 18th, I am releasing my stand-up comedy special. And that will be live on JoeRogan.net. And borrowing from the great Louis C.K., it will be five bucks. It will be the same thing. You'll be able to download it a bunch of times. That's a great idea, man. Yeah. So please don't steal it.

I paid a lot of money to make's a great idea, man. Yeah. So please don't steal it. I paid a lot of money to make it. But other than that, thanks. Thanks for everybody. And thanks for everybody to be here for you, my friends. Thank you. And we'll see you all on Sunday right here from the middle of nowhere, which is the bottom of everywhere. I know exactly where this is.

Which is the top of the beyond. The middle of the infinity, Dom Herrera. There is no tomorrow, Rocky. You coming back to do Busting Balls with Dom Herrera? I will come back to hang out with you, Dom Herrera. Wherever we shall go, together we shall be. Tuesday nights, Dom Herrera is almost always at the Laugh Factory. The night's going to switch, but it's Thursday night for this week.

This week, Thursday night. And it'll switch. Thursday's a great night. That's a good night out. That's for pros. A lot of pros like to go out on Thursdays. Yeah, yeah. You can get some fun times on Thursdays.

All right, you dirty fucks. Thanks, man. Follow Red Band on Twitter, R-E-D-B-A-N. Go to higher-primate.com and check out my t-shirts. It's my psychedelic monkey t-shirts. I don't know how many of them are still available. We sold a shitload

of them. I over underestimate how many people are buying them, but we're getting all new ones in and we're getting, we're going to be affiliated with Onnit now, so we'll have our distribution far easier. Nice. Yeah, I'm not much of a businessman, folks.

All right, you fucks. We've got a lot of good shit coming up. And thanks for being here through all this. We appreciate the shit out of you. And we love you a long time. All right, bye. See you later. See you.