The Joe Rogan Experience - #34 - Doug Benson

Episode Date: August 10, 2010

Joe sits down with Doug Benson.

It came up twice. Yeah, it's very... Oh, did it? Yeah. This thing's very clunky, this Ustream thing. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for tuning in. My guest this week, the lovely and talented Mr. Doug Benson. Hey, everybody.

Doug Benson, everybody. Hey. Before we get started, we have to mention that this show is being sponsored by The Fleshlight. Doug Benson, have you ever fucked one of these things? I have not. I heard you and Dane Cook talking about it last week. They're awesome, man. It's really like, takes masturbation to a whole new level.

It seems, you know, it's a very embarrassing thing to purchase. It seems like... Has that one been used or is that just for... No, no, no, I would never do that to you. Is that just the... Joe, recently... Well, not that you would, you know, necessarily mess it up just by holding it or whatever, right? Because you don't have to touch anything.

I mean, no one's fucked it. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't give you one that someone's that's good yeah yeah that's wrong right have you ever fucked a non-fleshlight one no like i just fucked one the other day completely different it fucks it doesn't feel anything like better or worse oh way worse way worse way worse yeah somebody else told me that i think it was heffron said that he fucked a uh a knockoff a fake flashlight He said it wasn't very good. But these are outstanding. They put a lot

of research into it. It seems like it'd be awesome, but now I totally get what you were saying last week about how it just doesn't feel right in terms of you feel bad about yourself. It's embarrassing. Yeah. It's so heavy. That's one thing. I guess you'd get a little bit of a

light arm workout, but here, take it back. Brian, turn my volume up. I've had other people talk to me about this thing, and it's an embarrassing thing. They're like, why would you want to be represented by this rubber vagina? It keeps coming up. It came up with another person that was thinking about sponsoring the show. They don't want to be connected with the fleshlight. Really? That's so weird to me. It keeps coming up. It came up with another person that was thinking about sponsoring the show. They don't want to be connected with the Fleshlight. Really? That's so weird to me.

It's childish. But now you just get that company and Fleshlight to outbid each other until you're just one or the other. But then you would never know. Then you show no loyalty to something that you actually believe. If you don't believe there's anything wrong with fucking this thing

and you want to pretend... It's like one of those things where people don't want to talk about sexual things because somehow or another talking about sexual things makes people uncomfortable, it's creepy, but it's a natural part of life. And most rational people at a certain point in time just kind of accept that. And then you can joke about it and go,

hey, I fucked this rubber pussy. Ha ha! Is it good? Yeah, it's great, you should try it. And then everything's good. But for some people, it never gets to that place. Never gets to that comfortable. I think it depends on how comfortable you are with other men. Like who you kind of came up with and if you all talk to each other that way

or not. I had a lot of fairly prudish friends. We'd say dirty things, but we wouldn't admit to any of our own personal activities the way that I've seen other groups of friends do it. You know, like you see these packs of people that all just have a different code about, you know, whether they fucked a prostitute or not is going to come up in one group, but

it's not going to come up in another. Totally. That's so important. So important. Hanging around with the dudes are going to tell you everything. That's so huge. Embarrassing, ridiculous, retarded, all of it. I want to hear it.

Come on. Give me all the dirt. Well, you must get some good stuff from... Everyone I know. Yeah, but also, that's really kind of almost a code of stand-up these days is to just be super honest, and it ends up, just to be original,

you kind of have to talk about some stuff that's pretty brutal and out there, you know? Yeah, you can't really do... I mean, it's almost like the Jerry Seinfeld route has been said so many times and gone down so many roads, it's like, I don't see anything there. It's like, if you want to do stand-up today, it's like, you know, Jerry Seinfeld, as Jerry Seinfeld, you know, that style is hilarious at it, but I don't want to see a new one of those. Well, also, he sort of turned it into another thing like he made it popular it's more fun now to watch actors on a show like

the office recreating awkward situations that happen every day than it is your one guy just describing it yeah you know he's the seinfeld show just sort of brought to life his comedy and that made him a funnier guy to me because prior to that he was a pack of part of a pack of guys that all just did clean cut observational humor and i love them all i thought they were really funny like guys like him and larry miller and and you know there's a bunch of them yeah i was a big fan of the evening at the improv yeah yeah and those guys were on those things all the time that i totally grew up on watching that stuff, but then immediately embraced stuff that's more, you know,

like you don't have to just observe things. You can experience them. Yeah, I want to hear a really thought that's dangerous. Tell me what you did, not what everybody does. I want to hear a dangerous thought to admit. I want to hear some truth that we can all agree with. I want to hear something fucked up, too. I don't want to hear a dangerous thought to admit. I want to hear some truth that we can all agree with. I want to hear something fucked up, too. I don't want to hear the regular shit.

I get bored with it. I'm tired of it. I want to hear something. I look forward to Joey Diaz's sets more than anybody. I like strong joke writing, though. I do, too. I do, too. That can get me through.

But you're right. As soon as it starts to be too much about... The best is both, right? Yeah. of course. Yeah, I love anyone who's a great joke writer and a good performer. That's unbeatable. That's like Louis C.K. Yeah, but you're right about Seinfeld.

He was such a brilliant joke writer and deliverer in his style. And then to have that show. And then you really see where, you know, Kirby enthusiasm really got to see where Larry David had a big hand in it too. Cause once I started, started seeing that show, it was like,

Oh, okay. This guy is like the King of creating like really awkward situations that like literally you watch like some of the shows and you find yourself contorting. Cause you're like, what are you fucking saying? It's so good.

He does such a good job of weaving that web. He's one of my masters. Is he? Yeah. And it takes it up a notch, too, that it's on HBO so that the language in those situations can be... That's part of it is he often says some... He swears inappropriately in front of people sometimes. Yeah.

And subject matter. You can't do that shit on Seinfeld because it had to be all TV appropriate. You remember when there was the water bottle in his pants and there was a little girl and, you know, there was like some implication. Like people thought that he had a hard-on because the little girl was there. I forget how he set it up, but I was like, wow. Yeah, if you listed everything that he was guilty of in the seven seasons of that show he's done some pretty horrible things you know like he does the worst thing in every situation you know like i forget what he did to some holocaust survivors but it was i'm sure it was awful

shows like that are so important show you that there's like another level out there you know like i think that's important for stand-ups too. Don't you think? It's good sometimes to watch somebody else, somebody really good, watch like a Bill Cosby in his prime or something like that just to really get inspired or just really kick it up to another gear.

Yeah, it's always good to... I think that's a huge part of... I hate to give advice to people starting out, but one of the things I say to them if they insist on having some is watch as much stand-up comedy as you can. And unfortunately, we get kind of tired of watching it after we've done it for years and years, but it's still important to kind of check into it every once in a while

because it just ups your game when you know what everybody else is doing. Yeah, it inspires. It does something to you. It makes you excited about performing you know i'm most excited about writing after i see like you know i'll see chappelle perform and i go fuck i just want to go right you know it just makes me want to create new shit you know well that's the other great thing about being a stand-up is when you have that impulse you could just come up with one great joke and be satisfied like i hate it when i see a great movie and i'm driving home like, I'm going to write a goddamn screenplay.

That's just too big of a task to really commit to in that moment of excitement. But writing a joke, you're excited about writing jokes and you write a good one. It's like, okay, I did that. It's like 10, 20 minutes work and then you're in. Sometimes they come in

full form. They just come to you out of the air. It's like a little gift. It's amazing. you were talking about that with dane cook about how when you say something on when the crowd is so great the the next sentence after the joke is probably going to get a laugh anyway but when it gets a huge laugh then you've suddenly got a new end of the joke yeah out of nowhere right out of the ether I mean, that's how most of my, you know, I do most of my writing on stage just in the sense that, you know, sometimes I'll have a joke that's worked out, you know, perfectly, beginning, middle, and end. But for the most part, it's more like this is sort of something

I want to try to address and then just see where it goes and have a good joke ready to go right after it if it ends up not ending up getting anywhere. Yeah, I agree with you. I do both. How high do you get before you go on stage? Well, now people think I'm high whether I'm high or I'm not. Like, they just accuse me of it regardless.

So, you know, I can be as high as I want to be, which is just, you know, it just all comes down to timing. You know, if you have to race from the airport to the gig, you might not be very high, but if you're, if you're chilling that day, you know, and you got a show at eight o'clock and not much to do in the afternoon, other than, you know, work on your computer and interviews and stuff like that. Like I get really high for interviews now, like phoners. Yeah, me too. I love that. I love that too. I'm just being super baked. Cause then when they do throw to you, you, you will talk until they stop you. And sometimes they don't jump in, so you can really get a lot of stuff in.

I know. I find myself almost feeling bad for what I'm subjecting the interviewer to sometimes because it'll start on some really innocent question and I'll just start going on about what is the cause of humanity? What are we here for? There's totally nothing to do with anything we're talking about. But in my mind, what I'm thinking about is the whole vision of the world and where it's headed. It might have been a really simple question. Yeah, and they need you to wrap it up

so they can play some more Kesha. Yeah, and I'm just super banked going on about the universe. It's like it's all coming to me in these big waves. I just need to get it out. It is fun to get high and then right. Or sometimes, have you ever done this? Have you ever gotten high and then went, oh crap, now I'm starting to have ideas and I'm not in the mood

to, like I'm not ready to write down ideas right now. I want to just get high and watch TV. But now I've actually got to go to work for a little bit because the ideas are too good to ignore. I got way too high the other day and went on stage. I went to the John Lovitz Comedy Club.

So you think. This dude, I think. I was on a plane with Lovitz the other day. I got in his eyeline a couple times to see if he knew who I was and he had no idea. That's bad. But if he was like, holy shit, you're Doug Benson. Would that give you a semi?

Well, no. I wouldn't want... I did grow up on Lovitz. He has been in a lot of great things like holy shit you're doug benson would that give you a semi uh well no i wouldn't want i i well i i did grow up on love it's i mean i did he has been in a lot of great things and and he and i i've always thought he was a funny guy but um he's he was you know so sad sack acting that it would be hard to be excited about he's a nice guy he's a real nice guy but he was just kind of like traveling by himself you know how that is you're just like humping through the airport like you know just want to get it over with. Just don't want too many people

to, you know, I'm sure like he must have gone through a period of time where there's some catchphrases that people yell at him or they'd say you're a liar all the time.

That's the ticket. That's the ticket guy? Yeah, yeah. He must have used to got that a lot. But now I'm sure he doesn't get it so much. Why don't you use technology to help with your ideas though?

Because I know that you, instead of writing it down, just talk, make a movie, do audio. Because that's right there in your pocket. Well, I'm starting to get there. I finally got the most recent iPhone. Oh, you did? I made the first video that I ever uploaded on the internet where I just filmed myself doing something and then sent it out there. And I'm definitely going to do more of that. You should. It's a smart way to do more of that. You should.

It's a smart way to go. It's super fast. It's super smart and fast, and people love content. They want you to keep doing stuff. But what were you saying about being at the Lovitz Club, comedy club? Oh, I got way too baked. This guy gave me a cookie in between the stage.

There were like these little, what are those little long banana-shaped things called? You know what I'm talking about? Biscotti. Not really banana, but that's the closest thing I know. That's a hard clue. Now that I know what it is, now that I know it's biscotti, I can see the banana.

How do you describe that shape? Hard cookie canoe. Hard coffee canoe. That's the best one. Cookie canoe. I didn't even eat a quarter of one, man. Hard coffee. Coffee cookie. That's it. That's the best one. A cookie canoe. Cookie canoe. This guy, I didn't even eat a quarter of one, man. I didn't eat any.

He goes, they're really strong. Okay. I took a bite. One bite. 45 minutes later, I was on stage, and I was aboard an alien spacecraft while I was talking to these people. I mean, I was barely there. Barely there enough to communicate. I was so high. There's no way I

should have been talking in public. That's a surreal space when you're on stage there, too, because of the way they have those balconies. Yeah, three floors. And the balconies are rather close to you, but just up high. Very shallow, but very high. And it's kind of exciting, but also

it's different than what we're used to. Yeah. It's cool. I mean. It was a fun club. You know what's weird about that club is how the bars open. Halfway through the show, you're just hearing clinking and clunking. That happens at a lot of places. They could put a curtain right up there. They could, but it ain't that bad.

San Francisco Punchline doesn't have a curtain. That works out okay. Somehow it adds to the ambiance. As long as people aren't douchey it doesn't matter but you are right it does give an opportunity for things to get annoying yeah

anytime you have a bar where people can stand and order a drink you're fucked or divert attention from the crowd they can't do it quietly

because they're drunk people yeah people start hitting on people and talking the last show I did like where it was a standing room show

me and Joey did this show in Memphis and it was like this last minute booking and it was a standing room show, me and Joey did this show in Memphis. It was this last-minute booking, and it was a rock club. So we're like, all right, yeah, they have bands there. Fuck it. Well, you know, I'm sure it'll be set up fine. The guy's like, he wants to do standing room. I usually don't.

I said, okay, fine, fuck it. Half the room was standing. Half the room was seated, and it was really strange. It was like you're standing on stage, and to your your right everyone's seated and to your left is a bar so literally like everything to your left is like there's like 200 people just standing and talking yeah of course like you're doing stand-up in a bar and bear they're barely paying attention yeah they're acting like a band is on stage i used to do that the house of blues too but now um after we went to see stanhope and we had a stand and uh it was horrible it was like after an hour like your fucking back hurts your

neck starts to kink up and so i said i'm not going to subject anybody this anymore yeah no it is i feel bad for people when they're standing during the show do you ever say no that you won't do those shows and just i haven't uh i haven't really gotten to that position where like you know if that's an option and that's going to get more bodies in the venue you know it gets less bodies in the venue you lose money but it's to me it's better oh to let him sit you mean to let him sit yeah yeah yeah that's the thing so I I'm not as big a I'm not such a draw that they're like coming to me begging me to let everybody stand right you know I've been on comedians and comedy tours with with Patton Oswwald where everybody's standing and it's a it's amazing how much they'll put up with like david cross does standing shows all the time and his shows go on

forever and he has bands come out and that crowd is is okay with it but i don't think my crowd i think stoners would rather sit down. They're fine and okay with it. If there was only an opportunity to go see a great comic, even if I wasn't even doing stand-up, it was Chappelle or someone like that, I would stand. I'd stand for two hours. How often does this guy come to town? Once a year. Shit, I can stand

for two hours for once a year, but it's not the best feeling. The best way is to sit down and chill. You sit down and chill and then you can really enjoy the jokes. When you're sitting down and relaxing, everything's more fun. What's the worst is when they have couches in a comedy club. Like, oh, here's the VIP seats.

And it's like a couch in the back where they not only can get loud, but they also just are lounging around. It's not the right posture to watch comedy unless you're homestoned or something. Yeah, you're totally right i like it when this the seats are um fixed fixed seats into the so they can't even move them like if the comedy works in denver i was just gonna say that that place is crazy they got those little tiny trays that are smaller than a school desk

or an airline tray and you just put they just put their nachos and their drinks on it and they the people are in there so tight, and it's underground. It's really, that place is almost perfect. The only thing I'd say that I don't like about it is just it gets a little rowdy sometimes. It gets rowdy. The crowd noise is like it's a win when they're cheering for you and applauding because it's so loud. But then when they're talking amongst themselves, when they're losing focus, focus that's really loud too denver's pretty they get wild man yeah colorado people get wild yeah it's uh you know there's a lot of wild cowboy in colorado you know

and i think the alcohol and the weed both hit you harder because of the altitude fuck yeah it does you're a mile up in the air man yeah so you ever try working out up there yeah i've working out up there? Yeah, I've tried doing a lot of things there that I regretted. I went to an amusement park there one day. Oh, my God. And, yeah, it was fun, but much more exhausting than going to an amusement park should be. Yeah, I can only imagine. Yeah, walking up hills is tough up there. I went hiking once, and it was like a full-on workout.

Like I was breathing heavy and sweating. It's like, this is crazy. This is not where you want the mountain lion to catch you. I'll heave in and out of breath and shit. Can't even make it up the hill. That's the way Joe Rogan thinks, that there might be a mountain lion. Well, my dog got eaten by a mountain lion. Oh, God.

When I lived in Colorado, my dog got eaten by a mountain lion. Holy crap. Yeah, we saw the mountain lion. I've hid weed in Colorado. You've hidden it? Yeah, at a mountain lion. Holy crap. Yeah, we saw the mountain lion. I've hid weed in Colorado. You've hidden it? Yeah, at a comedy club, and I've been waiting for the day to go back to this comedy club to see if it's still there. Wow. It's kind of like me and Ari were talking about the other day.

We started hiding weed at a comedy club instead of throwing it away and stuff. Does weed ever go bad? That's smart. No, it doesn't. I mean, it loses its potency a little bit, but you're talking about six months to a year. It's fine. It's going to be dry, and it's going to hit you harder. You're going to get stoned. Really?

Yeah. Joey likes drying his weed out. He takes his weed and he puts it on like a radiator. Me too. He's like, I like to dry that shit out, cocksucker. I used to keep it in the freezer. Really? Yeah, I used to do that too, but it gets moisture in it that way.

I like it dry. I like it to burn and make a joint. What's good about the freezer? Supposedly, you put anything in a freezer, it lasts longer, be it batteries. Yeah, I'm asking you that, but meanwhile, I put my coffee in the freezer. I don't know why I do that. Yeah, exactly. I think my parents did it.

I just sort of did it because people suggested it or somebody said it somewhere, and then after a while, I was like, why am I doing this? I'm getting through this weed fast enough that I don't need to freeze it for another generation. This edible thing taught me a lesson, man. I will not eat anybody else's shit and then go on stage. It was a dude that I had known, and he's one of those professional stoner characters. Nobody can ever know, though.

Yeah, but you buy it at a store. You're buying it from somebody you don't know. Oh, no, totally. No, you're totally true. Everybody to me is always like, just eat half of this, and every time I take them up on it, it's either much stronger than that implied or weaker than that implied. People are never really that.

That's what I like about smoking is that the people behind the counter and the dispensary can give you a little bit more specific guidance than you can with edibles. It's always just like, yeah, it'll hit you or it won't in about an hour. Some of these assholes put too much in. They need to get Amazon reviews. This is too bad. You're right.

They need Amazon reviews. Every time you take a purple rack from this store, this is what happened. This is how much it took. There was a job in Colorado, one of the local newspapers, to be a marijuana critic. Right. And I got the job. I signed up for it. And they were like, are you serious?

I'm like, fuck yeah. I want to write. It was up for it. And they were like, are you serious? I'm like, fuck yeah. I want to write. It was right before we had to move. But when I was there, I was going to go to different weed stores and grade them. But somebody else is doing that now. They should.

I think they gave that job to somebody. I remember reading about it somewhere. Yeah, that's something they wanted to do. I read it on some celeb stoner or something. Some website was talking about it. I thought of on some like Celeb Stoner or something, some website was talking about it. I thought of earlier when you mentioned Doug Stanhope, it was funny a couple days ago, I worked at

a club and the guy wrote me a check and I went home I didn't really look at it and I went home and the next morning I looked at it and he'd written the check out to Doug Stanhope like it was late and he was tired and Doug plays that club too so it was funny that he wow wrote down the wrong name he's like degenerate number two have you ever gotten no you've never

gotten a check that says joe piscopo on it no tony danza jr um i signed credit well that's just a flat out hit and stuff like that like anytime i sign a credit card any kind of credit card slip I always write something like tacos let me ask you this why? because you're fair are you free to change the way you sign your shirt? yes

you can't say that your T's not a B you're just a sloppy cursive writer that's not what I'm saying like say if you have a signature your signature is supposed

to represent how you write it it's your own very unique way of doing it can you just decide I don't like it that way now I'm going to do this with a star in the middle of it? Well, you're just helping them out

because then you could get every letter of the alphabet so they know exactly what your handwriting style looks like. Right, but it's your signature. You're still writing the same word every time. What I'm saying is, could you just totally change it up?

Yeah, that's what I do. Every time I sign a credit card, I do Brad Pitt or I hate tacos. So what's the point if you're totally changing it up and if that's cool, if you're allowed to do that, what's the point in having a signature then? Because you have to say, did you sign this?

Is this your signature? You go, yes, I did sign that. That's it. What about the one where you're signing that screen thingy? Isn't that kind of at least capturing the image and checking to see if it matches how you do it? No, no, no, no, no. It's just writing it.

It's just printing it on everything. It's just printing it. So on those things, you could just write taco on them. No, no, no, no, no. It's just writing it. It's just printing it on everything. It's just printing it. So you could just, on those things, you could just write type. Yeah, you could type stars and anything. Well, when I was a kid, I could imitate Gene Simmons' signature. I could imitate Ace Frehley's

because I had copied over their signatures. I was a huge Kiss fan. And someone could do that with you easy, especially in those little stupid things with the credit card where you're signing your name. That doesn't look like how you write your name. It not even close and who cares you know how i learned it because a girl i used to date would type her name in like cursive letters and it took fucking like

an extra minute and i'm just like that's it you're not doing this anymore this drives me crazy it's an extra minute at the cash register so i go i just started signing it for her and i started saying like farts and fuck face and tacos i usually just do tacos and stuff with yeah yeah tacos and stuff interesting uh obsessions they've got the new taco shaped uh brad pitt fleshlight if you'd like to try it yep uh what that reminded me of something though oh what i do is i have a signature that i sign for stuff with, and then when people ask me to sign stuff, I just print my name. Oh. But I always try to say something nice to them,

so it's at least personalized, but they're not really getting my signature. They're just getting my name written out. Hmm. Interesting. How do you sign, Jeff? Because I'm just paranoid about this whole identity theft thing. So you won't sign things because of that?

Yeah. Wow. That's weird. I mean, why let someone, like a Gene Simmons wouldn't want somebody to be able to do a great job with his signature, I would imagine. Yeah, well, you know, you should definitely be paranoid about identity theft when it comes to credit cards. But I don't really think you should worry about your signature. It's too easy to duplicate. Just carry around a stamp.

I mean, you'd have to, I don't think, I mean, who has the kind of technology? Is there that kind of technology? But also, you can't read my signature, and I think when you're signing something for somebody, when they show it to people, you know, if it has your name on it, that's one thing. But if you're just signing anything, then when somebody looks at it, I think it's nice to go, oh, Doug Benson wrote that.

My signature, you can't read what it is. I don't think that handwriting, I don't think it's that, they're that good at that, at recognizing you know, don't think i think you could imitate it you could figure out how to write somebody's signature and you could probably pull it off close enough yeah you just have to find it somewhere so you just have to watch their emotions if you watch them if you film them do it and you saw like how they do it you could just imitate it well that's where my paranoia sets in is when i'm uh at ATM, the beeping noises that the numbers make. That takes the privacy out of the number.

If someone was just watching the site and recording it, they could figure out the numbers easy and then jack you up around the corner and then use your card and take out whatever the maximum is. What did you see? The new thing? There's a new app for Chase Bank that you can actually scan a check front and back with your iPhone and send it, and it deposits the check. And then you just rip up the check. Well, that's too ethereal. What about using your iPhone to check in on a plane? Like the barcode for your ticket can be on your iPhone, and I just run that.

My fear is, you know, your iPhone's dead, then you don't have a ticket. Yeah, and your iPhone will fucking die. And iPhones die, man. Especially if you fuck around a lot. The new one dies so fast. You know, you make a video, and your power's half gone. Yeah, yeah. You got to think about that if you're using the camera, for sure.

But it's such a great thing to have a good camera. The other day, we were in San Francisco, and we ate some Chinese food after the show. It was like 2 o'clock in the morning. We were outside, and this- I saw it. I watched it. The hoe truck? You tweeted it and I watched it. I was like, he must be so high. You kept saying it was the craziest shit you ever saw. I know

you're at UFC fights every other week so I know you've seen some crazier shit than a bunch of strippers in the back of a weird plastic car. I definitely have seen some crazier shit. Definitely. It was crazy. I was have seen some crazy shit. Definitely. But it was crazy. I was so high. Yeah, yeah.

It's just like you can't believe it. And now to be able to just share it with everybody. You were like Double Rainbow, but with a fucking van full of strippers. It was so exciting. I was so excited about it. It was so ridiculous to me. It was such a sign of the times to me.

It was like a scene in a movie right before the meteor hit, right before the aliens landed. Somebody audio-tuned Joe's video. Audio-tuned Joe's video. There's this big clear box that pulls up, and there's girls dancing. It's a fish tank of skanks, and they're dancing.

I mean, it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life. It's for the Hustler Club. We had to rewind the video to find out. But the cops pulled them over because they should be sitting while it's in motion. You can't be dancing while we're driving. You got to sit your little girl down. But they just did like a quick boop. They didn't really like, because that was what I was waiting for,

is like them having to get out and get cuffed or something. We thought that might have happened. We thought they might be going to jail. Like maybe it's illegal to do that because it seems so ridiculous. But apparently it's not. One of the things that was funny is when we were filming, and I didn't film their faces. I didn't specifically.

They were already in a plastic car. If I'm going to put it online, you don't need to see your face online. What if you're only stripping for a week and all of a sudden that shit's on the internet forever? So I didn't use their face. But anyway, while I'm filming it, the girl the girl goes no filming like we're in the club like bitch you're in front of a chinese restaurant okay you're not at the club if we're at the club and i'm filming you yeah that's a dick move but you just can't come out into the real world in your underwear and i can't take a picture of that that's crazy well that's like the uh the sexy top

and the you know keep your eyes up here, mister. It's like, well, come on. Jesus Christ. You know what you're doing. Right. You know how the game works. Yeah. They only want you to look if they want you to look.

But, you know, it's there for everybody. My eyes are here. God damn it. Yeah, let's do this. I wonder if you're in a Popemobile for strippers and you don't want us to look at you. It's awesome, though. It was awesome. It's a poke mobile for strippers, and you don't want us to look at you.

It's awesome, though. It was awesome. It was just like such a, first of all, just a perfect representation of how nutty San Francisco is. San Francisco is such a nutty town. Well, it's just that, yeah, that like probably no one will complain about that. No one. No one gives a shit. And I'm sure some kids saw it. Oh, a lot.

It's just so liberal there, so open-minded. It's a weird town, man. I wonder if that law with sitting down while you're turning the corner, if it came from the back in the old days where it was like a pickup truck and girls would just fly off the side of the car. Well, I think you have to have your seatbelt on. I think if you're in a car, you have to wear a seatbelt, right? I mean, that's a law.

If you get pulled over for something else, I think. No, no, no, no. They can't just pull you over for seatbelts. No, they can pull you over for seatbelts alone. I had no idea. I thought it was an add-on charge. No, it, no, no, no. No, they can pull you out for seatbelts alone. I had no idea. I thought it was an add-on charge. No, it's illegal. I was in a cab in San Francisco, and the crusty older lady cab driver told me,

she goes, if you ever want to drive around without a seatbelt on, because she goes, I don't like how seatbelts feel. I don't like to have it on. Especially if you've got big boobs. It must be an annoying thing. So she fastens it behind her back so that it's sitting so that because because the what the cops look for is the glint of the buckle because you haven't got it pulled down you have you don't have the buckle so they see that and then they put they

can pull you over for that and then get you out for other shit pull you over for glint dude yeah they pull you over for that and then they oh we thought you had your seat belt off and then they can you know oh we smell marijuana or whatever if you get pulled over for glint. Yeah, they pull you over for that, and then they go, oh, we thought you had your seatbelt off, and then they can, you know, oh, we smell marijuana or whatever. If you get pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt, you're a douche. Any cop just pulls you over and says, I'm just going to pull this person over for their seatbelt. I like wearing it, to be honest with you. I've been pulled over for that. I've had a guy tell me to do it.

Really? Nothing else. And he said you were driving with him.