The Joe Rogan Experience - #366 - Bobcat Goldthwait

Episode Date: June 11, 2013

Bobcat Goldthwait is a stand-up comedian, actor, screenwriter, and director.

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! This is officially where the serious satellite part starts. Alright. The other part with the commercials is only on the internet. Got ya. So from here, that's why.

Seems like we don't need the music. There's probably a better way to do this. It's probably a real momentum killer too. Doing the commercials as a part of the sitting while someone sits down. I got to tell you, I wouldn't mind if you did them through the show because Grandpa's got to pee a lot. And the last time I was on, I didn't know I could get up. Listen, any time you need to pee, the bathroom's through. Don't worry about it. I got a catheter this time. Just bring a bucket.

Have you ever had a catheter? No. I bet it sucks. Cheese and crackers. Those are my two biggest things is getting a catheter, which I got. So I'm over that. And it really – but by the time you need one, it's sweet relief. It was the nicest thing anybody ever put in my B-hole.

By the way, the voice that you're hearing, that's Bobcat Goldthwait, ladies and gentlemen. I'm playing Bobcat Goldthwait tonight. This is Bob Scratch Goldfarb, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks for having me back on. I haven't been here in a while. Thanks for being here. I really fucking loved your Bigfoot movie, man. Oh, thanks, man. Thank. Thanks for having me back on. Oh, please. Thanks for being. I really fucking loved your Bigfoot movie. Oh, thanks, man.

I watched it last night. Thanks, thanks. And I was really psyched to watch it because I'm a Bigfoot dork. I'm a Bigfoot dork from way back. You know, I know that, but I also was a little, you're the first person I gave it to that didn't see it with an audience. I've been doing some screenings at film festivals and things. Oh, wow.

And I thought it, I was worried because I'm really happy you liked it because I didn't know if I'd lose something sitting there by yourself. No, no, no. Because it's fun to watch the movie with an audience. I was in Baltimore and it was beautiful because it was a really... Baltimore's great.

So a really mixed crowd and I mean all races and all working classes and stuff, come to this festival. So I'm sitting behind. It was beautiful through the movie. I was sitting right next to a couple black guys who were beautiful. They were going crazy. Mm-hmm.

Big foot. Big foot. I can't tell you which part, but I was looking at them. Mm-hmm. Big foot. And they were yelling, and it made me so happy. Well, I had to ask you about something before we got on the air because it was made me so happy well there was i had to ask you about something before we got on the air because it was such a creepy movie there's so many moments and i

didn't want to give away any spoilers so i knew i'm like i gotta ask him this yeah well yeah and and yeah so i i try not to talk about some of the things that are revealed but i do talk about a lot of the movie i'm really happy thank you i mean this is the first review i mean i got a couple i shouldn't say there's some nice reviews online but uh that's really nice i loved it i loved it and one of the things i loved about it is you you are completely true to bigfoot lore like you you added in all the stuff that bigfoot like the knocking and the howling sounded exactly like a real sasquatch yeah and i didn't supposedly and i didn't i didn't go in to be snarky. I mean, I think the movie's got stuff in it that's funny, but I wasn't trying to mock believers in Sasquatch.

I just, because of a couple of reasons. One, I've always saw myself as an outsider, so why am I going to pick on one of the most picked-upon subcultures? I was talking to Dan Harmon, and we were breaking it down. In picked-up upon or misunderstood groups, it goes like Ren Faire enthusiasts, then it goes Taliban, and then Sasquatch enthusiasts. As far as people will cut them some slack or try to understand where they're coming from. Yeah, that's hilarious.

That's so true. Poor Sasquatch hunters. They don't catch a break ever. Well, you know, I went to where the Patterson-Gimlin footage was shot. And that was the germ of the whole movie for me, really. It was me, since I was nine years old, wanting to go to that site. That's really... And then I happened to make a movie.

But that's the reality of it. I'd love to tell you I didn't well up, but I did. I'm sure you did. Of course you did. I would, too. It's crazy. I don't believe in that footage. I think that Bob Patterson footage is utter horseshit.

Really? But why? Well, this will be good. First of all, because there was a guy that says he did it named Bob Hieronymus. Yeah, Bob Hieronymus. But Bob Hieronymus can't find it on a map, though. He can't find Bluff Creek on a map. Or he couldn't.

I mean, he was gone. Yeah, well, just because there's a lot of places I've been and I couldn't find on a map. Yeah, that's true. I go home to Syracuse and I go, I know I lived here. I know I lived on this street. I know that's where Dougie Toole and I hit Danny with a shovel. I went back to where I went to high school recently. That sounds like I killed someone.

I want to clear that up. I did not. Where'd you go to high school? Newton South, Massachusetts. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you grew up in Jersey and Massachusetts? No, no, no. Jersey was born. yeah, yeah. But you grew up in Jersey and Massachusetts? No, no, no. Jersey was born.

Born, yeah. But I lived in San Francisco. It was a long story, but age first, one through seven, I lived in New Jersey. Seven through 11, San Francisco. 11 through 13, Florida. And then 13 through 25, probably New York, Boston. Boston. And then New York. So 25, New York. 27, Boston and then New York.

So 25, New York, 27, LA. It keeps going. It makes for an interesting person. It makes you a very insecure child. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you the new kid every time? Fuck everywhere, man. Really?

Yeah. That's why I learned martial arts. I got tired of people fucking with me. Did they beat you up? Yeah. People always threatened to. I got lucky that I avoided it. But you're a funny guy. I mean, you used that.

I wasn't very funny. I'm going to be honest. I wasn't. You could have had writers. You know? You know, sometimes you got good delivery. I wasn't comfortable enough to be funny. I probably would have been funny around people if I got to know them really well, but around

class, I wasn't very comfortable. So you're really quiet and then getting picked on, and then you learn how to kick ass. But how often did you actually have to use it? Never. Yeah, that's the thing, right? I've gotten one fight in high school that was really quick, and I probably could have avoided it. Sometimes I think about it, I could have avoided it. And do you regret you didn't avoid it?

A little bit because I hurt the have avoided it. Like sometimes I think about it, I could have avoided it. And do you regret you didn't avoid it? Yeah, a little bit because I hurt the kid. Sure. I didn't hurt him bad. How long was this fight? It was pretty quick. Yeah, how long? But it was at a point where I was competing. I was competing a lot in martial arts tournaments.

So this guy hit you. I mean, he's... He was going to. And you took him out. Yeah. With how many hits? Okay. It was just one.

Yeah. But that's kind of badass. But now, if you didn't know you could do that, you wouldn't respect it. Well, it's also, I probably did it to show off. You know, I could have avoided it. I could have avoided it. Like, even though he's kind of a dick. Got you. He's also a young kid, just like me. We're both retarded. Yeah, you know

Squirting out of your ears. Yeah, just make mistakes Sometimes you start things you don't even want to finish, but you're stuck in a quagmire. Yeah, it was there people around Yeah, yeah, that had to be the last fight. I mean that no one probably messed with you after that well I mean, no one probably messed with you after that. Well, I mean, people are always... If you are looking for trouble, you're gonna find trouble. Right. I was never... I never looked for trouble. Right. But there's... When you're in high school, there's unavoidable

situations where you don't even want to be somewhere. You, like... You know what I mean? In your life, you have control over what you choose to do for an occupation. And who you're with. But maybe, like, maybe my shape and everything protected me from... You know what I mean? Like, if you kick my ass, you'd be... It's embarrassing. And who you're with. The kind of people you'd see. But maybe like, maybe my shape and everything protected me from, you know what I mean? Like if you kick my ass,

you'd be, it's embarrassing. Oh, you kick Goldthwait's ass? Oh, big deal. Like, you kicked the fat doughy guy's ass? And did your,

did your fist get stuck? Was there suction noises? But I never was like, I always wanted to avoid conflict. Of course. You know, the only reason why I ever learned martial arts at all was like, I always wanted to avoid conflict. Of course. The only reason why I ever learned martial arts at all was so that I would be scary enough

so people left me alone. Yeah, but I mean like, and I always, there's a bit in my act about, you know, the voice of death, and that's, you know, I'm gonna kill you.

That guy's gonna kill you. You know, a guy who's like, I'm gonna kill you! Yeah, he's just some dumb drunk jock that his buddy's gotta pull him off so he doesn't get in a fight with you. I've met so many scary people in my life as far as physically scary people, especially all the years working for the UFC. Right, right.

The idea of running around in the same world as some of these people was fucking terrifying. Right. Because most UFC fighters are very calm and they get it all out in the gym. Fighters are very calm and they get it all out in the gym. But if you zig when you should have zagged and you run into the wrong person in the wrong time, like many people have, it's up to them whether or not you stay safe. It's up to them whether or not they just beat the fucking shit out of you. I've seen it happen to people before. I saw a guy get knocked out in Denver. I was at the Comedy Works in Denver.

It was a really cool place. And I saw something happen that totally didn't need to happen. There was a guy who was walking down the street and he was really fucking drunk and there was another guy who was sober. And the guy was drunk, said something stupid to the guy who was sober but he wasn't a threat. He was clearly not

a threat. But then the guy who was sober just beat the shit out of him. And you could tell the dude was totally impaired and the other guy was like stronger more athletic anyway he was just looking for an excuse to beat the shit out of somebody he just wanted to beat someone up it's like the heckler figures out they're gonna heckle and the guy who gets in a fight you know before they even leave the house i mean i really believe that some people do yes i think a majority of them draw that but i don't know how we went from bigfoot to to ass kicking but that's all right i mean you know but but you know it's like i'm not

proud that that i have the ability to really uh and i'm not known for this i mean people a lot of folks aren't familiar that i do stand up but you know that i can really decimate someone in the audience i can really i mean i really i bet I'm really bad. I truly don't usually even my daughter my new wife the 09, my exes You call her the 09? Still got the new car smell.

So like the 09 they see this switch go on and they leave the room. They get uncomfortable and it's just like and I'm really not proud of that. It's a horrible skill. You know, they see this, like, switch go on, and they leave the room. They get uncomfortable, and it's just like, rawr! And I'm really not proud of that. It's a horrible skill, you know?

Well, it's a defense mechanism for doing stand-up, I think. But, like, you don't even, I mean, when it gets going, I truly don't know. I mean, you talk about the comedy works, man. It was just, oh, my God. You know how people will yell out where they're from, and there's this horrible night there? And I love the comedy works. I think that's probably, if not the best club club it's one of the best in the whole country but one of those you know horrible shows and you know people go do the voice do the voice you know

they want me to do this voice from the how they know me from years ago and i'm not doing it and and then this woman in the back of the room she goes i'm from aurora and i go i know you've learned to sit in the back and i truly didn't think of that in advance you know and i felt did i feel bad you know it was such a weird response that even the crowd like kind of didn't go oh they kind of just pretend they didn't hear it because it was so weird and horrible but like i really kind of the switch goes and i say things and i'm not saying I don't take responsibility for him but I'm usually later on kind of surprised that I said you know I berated a table full women this one night and and they were very you know they're acting like the show is

all about them I just berated this table women and then one stood up sobbing and she's like going by the way i forgot even what i said and it was a couple minutes later by the way people love these kind of stories and they love watching it i mean a bar's never emptied out they go two guys are getting along in the parking lot let's watch so i'm up there and and and this woman stands up crying she goes i'm not a whore it's my birthday oh no these are the things i'm not proud of so do you think that that comes from doing stand-up in bars like around boston to build that defense of course in boston that was the the hardest hardest place to do stand-up comedy it was it was horrible it was but but when i got, it created so many unique characters and so many, you know, I got started and it's like, you know, who came out of that group?

It was like, you know, Lenny Clark and Dennis Leary and Stephen Wright and Barry Crimmins and, you know, just all these different unique voices that came out. My friend Tony V. And so it was really tough to do comedy, Paula Poundstone, but you were forced to have your own voice, you know? Yeah, you guys were ahead of me, and when I first started doing comedy and started doing Open Mic Night, I was really aware, because of all you guys,

like, what a crazy scene it was. Yeah, it was. I mean, it was really... There's so few places on Earth, people hate this on my podcast. Oh, they're going to talk about Boston comedy again. Oh, really? Oh, sorry. No, it's not sorry because Bill Burr and I have had these conversations.

I'll tell one or two Boston stories. It was an amazing place. I think I touched on this on your podcast, and I really rarely talk about it. But I am – I don't drink. I don't take drugs, but I don't tell people about it. But I just did. Right. But I don't tell people about it. But I just did. Right. But I haven't since I was 19 years old.

So this story is that long ago. I started doing comedy when I was 15. I got on a limo when I was 20. So this is like a story when I'm 18 with – I'll say it was Lenny Clark and all those guys. And we boarded up the doors and the windows at the Ding Ho with cardboard, right? And we're just drinking and doing piles of blow. all night, and then the door opens, and

it's like smoky and backlit because the sunlight's pouring in, and it's a bunch of cops come walking in, and I'm just high and gacked out of my mind, and I'm going, I'm going to jail. I'm going to jail. That's all i'm thinking and the cops go lenny you fucking cocksucker how are you and they sit down and they start doing blow

yeah and i'm like oh there is no there's there's no god yeah yeah yeah up is down you know we do it was a chinese comedy club and we would ding ho we would cut lines on the on the ribs you know the the pork ribs yeah we'd be in we would cut lines on the on the ribs you know the the pork ribs yeah we'd be in the freezer chopping lines on those orange pork libs the ribs the red ones you know that's hilarious yeah you do lines on those yeah it'd be a flat surface and then i'm just thinking like these families that get served up this oh my god blow covered pork ribs and juniors bouncing off the walls. Whenever we go to the ding-ho, he's so animated.

Now, this was like in the 80s. Did you guys get real coke back then, or was it all chopped up still? I think we were getting high, yeah. No, but you know what I'm saying? I don't know the difference. I mean, I really— I've never done coke. Oh, really?

Well, I did it, and like I said, I stopped everything when I was 19. I know people don't believe that. The folks who do who do it though will tell you there's like rockstar coke like pure coke which is amazing and then there's like you know tom sawyer from the from cobs sure yeah tom will tell you like if you talk to him about old school like rockstar coke well i've talked to some of the boston comics who who like you know you know i didn't i didn't quit because i got so bad because the because the. I quit because the shit got bad. The coke got bad. They were disappointed in the quality of the blow.

I wasn't getting fucking high anymore. Apparently, it's a very different experience. Oh, really? If you get like real cocaine, 100% pure cocaine, it's a very different experience than what a lot of people are getting is speed. You're getting like coke mixed with some sort of amphetamines. No, because I had done speed and it didn't affect me the way that Coke did. So that's my Pepsi challenge. I guess it's very scientific.

I don't know. They cut it with things. I don't know what they're cutting it with. That baby laxative and vitamin B. Yeah. That's a big one with XTC. They cut it with? They cut it with speed, apparently.

Speed. Sometimes you don't get all pure X. You get a bunch of funky amphetamines in there. Wow. So what we're trying to say to the kids. Don't do bad coke. Yeah, kid. No, you're.

Yeah, I'm. So you guys were doing it with the cops. With the cops. I mean, there would always be stories like that. You know, a guy would steal some guy's joke and then somebody's arm would get broke. I mean, it was not. I mean, really, that's the reality of it. Well, Dane Cook was on the podcast once.

He and I were talking about how the guys who were doing comedy were men. Like Kevin Knox and Lenny Clark. These big men. These, like, manly. And it was a very. Yeah. Squeeny. It was just, like, very aggressive.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it wasn't like... Don Gavin. People going, oh, you're in Cambridge. And they're imagining that we've got pipes and we've got patches on our sweaters. You're coming out with one of those suede jackets with the Indian things. Tassels. I was in more like an overstepped chair.

And we're sitting there talking about Noel Coward references and stuff. But no, it was pretty down and dirty. But it was the best place to train. I mean, because you were ready for it. The heckles were insane, the violence. It really is weird to think about how much comedy and violence was in that scene. It was a crazy scene. I'll try to keep some of the people out of this story,

but one of the guys I was with one night, you know when someone's partying and the switch is thrown and they become Gorgo? You know what I mean? They're just not themselves completely. You know what I mean? And one of our buddies insisted that he and I were Vikings. And he was really... The commitment he had to this character was, he was a Viking and he was holding me in a headlock.

And he wouldn't let me go. And to the point where it got creepy. Like, he was just dragging me around the bar. It was funny. And then it went, it went for a long time. And I couldn't do anything. He was much larger than me and then Barry Crimmins

I remember at the time had a had a cast and the guy who had me in a headlock who by the way is a friend he just had a rough night

that night he says Crimmins goes he goes let him go and he goes and the guy goes hug me or hit me

and Crimmins goes that was the fastest decision I ever made in my life and he just popped him with the gas and broke his jaw. That's hilarious. So that was,

that's comedy. Yeah, it was crazy. It was mayhem. It really was. I came just behind you guys and one of my big regrets was that I never got to perform with the Ding Ho

because it was so legendary. Yeah. Well, it was because the comics were in charge, basically, the booking and all that stuff. So it was crazy. Well, that's sort of how the comedy store used to be except for the booking aspect of it.

The comics were never in charge of the booking of it, but there was no real crowd control. It was all comics working the booth. Comics would work at the door. The comedy store was like, it's all comics working there. Well, this was pretty much mayhem. This guy, Shun Lee, he ran the ding-ho, and he talked to me maybe twice. One night, I go out on stage, and I'm doing my character, and I'm full bore.

And then I stop, and I say, you know, hi, this is my real voice. I'd like to gut and clean some fish tonight. Does anyone have any fish? You know, really straight, I'm saying this. And my roommate raises his hand, and he pulls out this big fish. Now, the fish had been in the trunk of his car, so it was rancid. Oh, no. So I just gut the fish and gut entrails, fish entrails all over the stage.

And this woman just contact vomited. As soon as she smelled it, just like, ugh. So I'm a professional. I put the mic right down to her so you could hear her retching over the PA. Oh, Jesus. So this chick's puking up. This fish got vomit all over the front of the stage. And then I go, well, thank you.

Good night. And so the next guy, was Bill Campbell around you know this guy a really sweet guy but his act is you know talking about you know relationships you know man go to you know yeah it's just guts and fish and he goes you know so he his act is destroyed because I remember this kind of stuff. Yeah, very nice, wholesome kind of act. And then I did this. And then Sean Lee, the first time he talked to me, he pulls me over to talk to him. He goes, Bobby, you weird.

You weird. That's how he said, Bobby, you weird. Wow, what a great boss. Yeah, yeah. Bobby, you weird. I still did the second show. Don't do the fish. Don't do the fish.

No more fish. That is hilarious. But yeah, so it was. What year did the ding-ho end? I don't know. I was gone by the time it met its demise. When did you bail? When were you out of Boston?

I went to San Francisco. It was all pretty quick. I got on Letterman. It was in the early 80s. Really, I was half in and half out of the different cities, San Francisco and Boston. So it was like 82, maybe 83. I started in 88. Oh, wow.

So it was way after. Yeah. The Boston comedy scene. When did it really start? When was, like, the birth of it? It was before I got there, and I got there at the, like, 80, the end of 80, probably. Did you see Fran Solomita's documentary? Oh, sure.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm a little bit in that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like 80, the end of 80 probably. Did you see Fran Solomita's documentary? Oh, sure, yeah. Isn't it amazing? I'm a little bit in that, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it taps some of it, but there's still... Yeah. There's still stuff that was... I mean, he did a great job.

But it wasn't raw dog. Well, there's just some things in there that... Well, the one thing that's funny is that I watched that movie with Lenny Clark, and part of the story is that these guys don't like me because I get on Letterman. And that was true. Oh, yeah. And they got really mad because I'm younger than them. I come in from Syracuse.

I get on Letterman probably in a year or so. Right. I would have been pissed, too. But Lenny would be. And Lenny and I are friends, actually. We were going to do a project together. But at the time, Lenny was really pissed. He Lenny and I are friends actually we were gonna do a project together but at the time Lenny was really pissed

you know he was like you know he's throwing me into a wall what the fuck is your you know

it's not your turn yeah what is that that was a thing with that place it's like they felt it was almost like a union gig it's like you didn't

put in your seniority yeah yeah yeah so so that became part of that movie but you know I sat there

and watched it with Lenny and we just kind of laughed together. And I watched it with my daughter, too. It was really great for my daughter. It was really cool to have her watch that. Wow. Yeah, I have a pretty good experience. I'll tell a good story, if you don't mind.

Yeah, please. We got to go talk about my daughter. So my daughter is a costumer. She works in commercials and movies and stuff and i'm very proud because she's taking a creative life and she she does great work we work together and and my wife and i we all work and everybody works and when i make a movie all my friends and family so but i get this text from my daughter she was working on that project and it says dad maybe i shouldn't say this one oh i'm gonna fuck it i'm in the middle so she says she says dad i have a disaster uh she's under the

text she goes i have diarrhea and i went into russell brand's dressing room and i'm using his toilet oh and he doesn't know i'm in here and he he just came back in. And she's trapped in the bathroom? Yeah, and I have to go back to the set. Oh, my goodness. She says, what do I do? I go, make him feel uncomfortable. Just open the door and go, hi, Russell Brand. I had to change my tampon. Shark week.

And so my daughter texts back, Dad, you're great. I love you. Oh, that's awesome. Now, she thinks I'm trying to help her out of an uncomfortable situation, but really I'm going, what can I have her say so Russell Brand won't try to fuck her? That's hilarious. That's exactly what you would think, too. Because, of course, I'm going, oh, this is bad.

This is bad. In the bathroom. She thinks I'm being cute. If he hypnotizes her. Yeah. I mean, you know. And that going, oh, this is bad. This is bad. In the bathroom. She thinks I'm being cute. If he hypnotizes her. Yeah, I mean, you know, and that's his thing, you know. And then I'm like, and then I go, what happened? And she goes, nothing. And I'm like, my feelings are hurt, too.

I'm like, well, he didn't try? Yeah. Which makes me a creep. But I don't know. It was weird. What was the motivation for making this Bigfoot movie? Because this is, like, completely for me. I mean, I found out about this three weeks ago.

Oh, okay. And also, folks, if they're familiar, a lot of folks don't make I Make movies, but it's completely different than World's Greatest Dad or God Bless America. Shakespeare. It's a lot different than Shakespeare. Shakespeare was fucking great.

Oh, thanks, man. That's a fucking great movie. Tom Kenny and I, whose name drop is now the voice of SpongeBob, is Binky the Clown in that movie. And he's, again, cocaine. He's doing San Francisco stand-up. But I've known Tommy since I was six. We were introduced by a crying nun at St. Matthews. Well, we weren't introduced.

Tommy tells the story better. But he says this fat kid's dragged behind this nun who's just sobbing. And she drags me into his classroom and goes, because we were in two different first grades, and she's like, I can't take him anymore. And she left me in this class. And I was so, I felt horrible. I was so embarrassed.

I started crying too. But he thought it was cool that I could make a nun cry, so he introduced himself at lunch. That's hilarious. We've been now, yeah, we're both, I'm 51, he'll be 51 in July. But, so, yeah,

I've known Tom Kenny. He's Binky the Clown. Him and I were watching a Shake's, they showed Shake's and people, recently, and people showed up

as characters and they know the dialogue and there's clown whores there. These women were just the slutty clowns. And in the middle of it, Tommy leans over to me and he goes,

what the fuck were we thinking? He's like, we're going, what is this movie about? And the crowd was really eating it up. It was like that Shatner sketch on SNL. You know, we were like, get a life. We were really wigged out by that. But, you know, if you make a movie, you better be willing to talk about it. Oh, yeah.

Because even my small indie films that I do under the radar and they play festivals, you're going to talk about them for the rest of your life. So you better kind of stand by it. And that's part of this movie was that I've always been fascinated with Bigfoot. I've always been super interested in the Patterson Gimlin footage. And so it wasn't that long ago, the 09, she's like saying, she knows me, she goes, go, go

go to your Bigfoot, so I put about 1400 miles on the car just in California, just driving around famous sites, talking to different people until I made it all the way up to Willow Creek you know, and so you did this just to sort of form the idea in your head? Yeah well, I wasn't, I didn't have a movie.

I had a different movie in my head, which I still think I'll write, because I thought it – one of the things that's fascinating about Sasquatch is it's a good – everybody – I wanted to do a thing that kind of – this isn't this movie, but I had an idea for a movie that kind of took on faith and religion and everything, and I thought maybe I'd set it in the Sasquatch community, because there's people that just believe, and there's people that believe and see, there's people that are

shysters, there's people, I mean, so it's a really good, you know, it's a good analogy for religion, but you know, I don't know where you sit on the pointy head, or less pointy headed Bigfoot. Isn't that funny that you brought that up? Yeah, yeah.

That's funny. Because I saw this guy go over to another guy at a conference, and the guy's got a cardboard head with a big pointy headed Bigfoot, and the guy goes, you disgust me. Really? And he goes, look at that head. He said, you disgust me? Look at that. Like, he knows.

Yeah, and the other dude goes, really? I've seen Bigfoot three times, and you're never going to see him because you smoke. Whoa. Said that to him? Yeah, and I was like going. That's pretty gangster. Yeah, and I also said, wow, this is beautiful. You know, this is really amazing.

So subcultures are fascinating to me. So subcultures are fascinating to me. I love the fact that you can get into discussions and go down these crazy rabbit holes with everybody. And I do. You know, here's the thing. When you say you believe, that means people say you're no longer impartial. But everybody has. So I'm not impartial.

I do believe that there's a Sasquatch out there. Wow. Or I should say Bigfoot, plural. You went there. You said, I believe there's a Sasquatch. Yeah. I mean, look at my career, what is going to happen? People can say, Bobcat Goldthwait's weird.

Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. That is one of those subjects, though, where it's like UFOs or psychics or something along those lines. As soon as you start talking about it, you're almost immediately a silly person. Yeah, but I'm already a silly person. I'm so far off the radar. I do what I like to. It's freedom.

Yeah, it's completely. About seven, eight years ago, I really just kind of quit. I stopped being in stuff that I was embarrassed of. I stopped, you know, I still do something if it's nice and the bread's there. But for the most part, I just quit. You know, I stopped trying to get jobs. I didn't want to get discovered. I stopped writing movies for other people that I wasn't getting paid for, that I thought they would like. Or I stopped all of it.

And I just, and I was, fortunately enough, Jimmy Kimmel hired me to direct his show. And that's a big deal. That's a huge deal. Because, you know, I mean, people. We did the Spell show a little bit as well. I did a little Chappelle. We ran into each other in Manhattan. Oh, yeah, that was weird.

That was weird on the street. Yeah. Yeah, totally random. And so I worked on Chappelle. But working for Jimmy, you know, kind of just gave me this freedom. It was nice that someone believed in me, you know, when pretty much I'd become, and still am possibly, but a punchline. Well, we talked about it before the podcast during the commercials,

the thing with the Tonight Show. That was the big thing. Yeah, well, there's that. You lit the chair on fire. And just this persona people had an assload of. And just, you know, and I didn't even, you know, I got really frustrated because I was just being famous for being famous. And this is before the, you know, digital age. I just got really tired of being like, you would book me on a talk show, I'd go crazy, and people would be happy.

And I really was just like so over it. Really destructive, you know? Were you like rebelling against like the Police Academy movies and that sort of box that you were putting to? It's that, but also it's rebelling. Truly, I think the real thing was is that I was, you know, Leno was nice enough to have me on. And then I saw this pattern that I may have become a regular. And I've never really discussed this. That terrified me, the idea of being successful on that level. Because it's easier to be a guy who never tried

and then you're in some dopey teen comedies and you can criticize what everybody else does and be bitter. But to really put your cock on the block and say, this is who I am, this is going to be my material, or this is the movies, or this is the products that say who I am. This is going to be my material. This is the movies. This is the products that say who I am. That's terrifying because then you're out there to be judged. That's fascinating. So it's almost like you had a self-destructive quality because the idea of success was just too much pressure. It's terrifying because then I'd have to actually pony up and actually, oh, so you've been criticizing X, Y, and Z? Well, what do you do? So I was really trying to not, it was kind of funny because I was trying not to be on

tv anymore and I said that the night show on fire and then immediately I get booked on every show people think like I was banned from other shows I wasn't even banned from the tonight show they actually had me on a week later but but um it's it's it's very fascinating it's funny I was just writing this thing um you know I toured with Nirvana as a comedian, and there would be times where I was – there was a few nights where I was sitting up with Kurt, and we were exchanging stories, like him showing up and drag in a gown for a headbanger's ball and nobody getting that. That's pretty funny, especially it was funny to him because he's getting asked to go on a metal show, so he thought it would be funny to show up in drag and everybody's going

this guy, what a hmm. Especially because he wasn't running around in lipstick going wah. He just was comfortable in the drag. He's talking about how nobody would get him. It was really funny. I'd smashed up the Arsenio Hall show did way more damage

on that show I remember that too yeah I wrote Paramount sucks on the back of it because they fired him basically and they gave him

a raw deal and it was just me trying to end it you know I I really related more to rock than comics I just kind of kaboo

you know I tried to and then were you upset though that you were like did you feel like you were getting pushed into some like family box and it wasn't representing you like a real a little area is a little comic a little

that you know it's funny people you know I think the character would cloud people from hearing anything I was saying you know I love me Bob me Bob I got it when I was like I mean when did it come out? I don't know. I was just starting out. That's funny. Because that album, I don't think people understood that I actually had material. Exactly.

I think they just saw me in Police Academy. That was what I was going to say. Yeah, that was frustrating. It was a real, it was really good comedy. It was really good stand-up. And I think a lot of people, I remember, just thought you were like the crazy actor guy. Yeah. Like a lot of people didn't know.

Like, you didn't just have stand-up. You had, like, really smart stand-up. Well, thanks, man. It was really good stuff. But it was weird because I think I helped perpetuate it. Of course, I possibly, you know, it's kind of funny when you go on stage and you do this persona, even people who are rolling their eyes start laughing,

so it's hard to jettison it, especially when you go on the road and they're expecting it. It's weird to get pigeonholed. I just stopped. I was on the road and I realized, oh, I don't dislike stand-up. I hate this fucking character.

Did people totally expect it? Oh, yeah, and they still do. Do the voice! And they get mad. But it's just I got to do my – I got to be me, as corny as it sounds. I feel you. But you got to quit. There's this weird thing in our society where it's like you can't quit.

And that's where you find when you're happy. You say, oh, this isn't working for me. I thought, oh, this isn't working for me. So you end up in a place, you say, oh, this isn't working for me. You know, I thought, oh, this isn't working for me. So you end up in a place where you go, oh, this is what's working for you. Unfortunately, you end up there usually about 45. Well, there's a lot of people that they never abandon that act. And they hang on to it. Like, does Judy Tenuta still do stand-up?

I don't know. She had a great act. It's funny that my wife and I brought up the old night wife and I brought up Judy Tanuta today on the plane. Because I did the Gathering of the Juggalos. Oh, wow. And we were wondering if they booked the wrong acts on purpose. So we were putting together a lineup like it was going to be Paula Ponstone, Judy Tanuta, and Amy Mann at this year's Gathering of the Juggalos. Amy Mann at this year's Gathering of the Juggalos. Amy Mann.

You know, because I think that, because sometimes, did you ever see, did you ever see the. Yeah, I've seen it. Oh, you saw that movie. I've seen when they had public sex. Wouldn't mean Gathering of the Juggalos. There's a movie called, oh shoot, American Juggalo, I think is the name of it. No, I've just watched clips on the internet where they just have. You saw Tia Tequila get hit with poo.

Did she really? Yeah, man. They threw poo at her? They ran out of Faygo Cola, so they started throwing poo at her. Oh, my God. Like, dudes were shitting in, what, cups and stuff? No, they knocked over. Knocked over a port-a-potty?

Yeah, yeah. It wasn't like Gigi Allen. Oh, my God. So it was someone else's poo? Yeah, which is, that's my point. Look, I'm going to digress here. Oh, that's her on stage. And they're throwing poo at her right now?

Like, hypothetically, let's say you or I, I give it up. Look, she stays in there. She stays up there. Oh, Jesus, that shit just hit her legs. I love that she's like sitting there going, you know what? A couple more minutes, I'm going to win her back. Look at that. You got to give it up. She grabbed her crotch.

Is that all shit or is it some of the beer? No, it's Fago Cola. It's the soda they like to throw. Here's my point. If you were walking down the street and you hit me with dog poo, like you saw someone through it,

it wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I'd be mad. I'd be like, mean Joe what the fuck was that you go I don't know that was funny laughing off no but if you hit me with like you know like hobo do you know I mean like some poo from a person that would be the deal-breaker I'd be like you fucker I've got hep C in my eye now really Swift yeah human shit is way more terrifying than animal shit. Did you ever see G.G. Allen?

Yeah, and then he starts throwing it at people. And they get out of their way like military strifing. Like when people are fired, something about human poo is way worse. It's terrifying. You don't want it on your clothes. No, no, no, no. If you've got dog shit on you, you just hose it off.

You go, ah. Yeah. But I did the Gathering of the Juggalos. Wow. And the opening act, Upchuck, the clown, is trying to calm my nerves. Now, they're their own security. So there's no security. It's just juggle of law on this huge piece of property. Wow.

So it's just madness. Yeah, there's fires going on and fireworks. Oh, my gosh. People are always lighting fire, too, like fireworks. Like the way people light cigarettes, like casually. I saw a lot of that. It was really funny. Where people don't jump out of the way.

It's like some bath salts. What is it like for you wandering around amongst these people? Are they freaking out? No, because I think, well, sometimes I get recognized. For the most part, I don't get recognized. But it was, you know, we took a golf cart through the whole thing. And like I said, there's fights. And people, I don't know what they were doing, but maybe you might know what this is. But suddenly people would drop.

Like there'd be like a group of people and then you just see them drop. Like they were puppets and someone cut their strings. They just hit them. Like is it like a choreographed thing? Like they're joking around? No, no, no, no. Like whatever they had been doing would just suddenly. Like a bunch of them would just drop?

Yeah, it'd be like three or four of them. Obviously they had just ingested or did something, and then all of a sudden you'd just see them go, like dominoes. And then they'd get up, and it was... I don't know what that is. Oh, my... Whatever it is is not good. Yeah, well, so...

So, you know, it's... I understand the idea of the juggalos, by the way. I get it, you know? I get it. It's a certain sect that's pissed off pissed off and it's certain group of people and i and and they and they do have the sense of community and family i do i do try to be open-minded and they and by the way they were very nice to me i should say that that's a very good way of putting that but but while we were there you know upchuck's trying to convince me that it's not that scary of a gig. And he's driving me around on this golf cart.

And he's like, you know, you got it. And this huge clown just, everybody's kind of either, some guys are cut in clown makeup. A lot of them are like obese, you know, men and women. It's really like an incest survivors convention. Like, you know, nobody's going to touch me anymore. So this guy just jumps out of nowhere and starts punching Upchuck on the golf cart. He's running along and hitting him. For no reason?

He's like, fuck you, Upchuck. Oh, my God. Fuck you, Upchuck, specifically. Yeah, yeah. And he's gunning it. So we lose the guy and he's like, I'm here every year. You know, they know me. I'm like family. And I'm like, okay. You know, they know me. I'm like family.

And I'm like, okay. So then. He punched him in the face? Punched him right in the face. And then he took it like in the shoulder. And then by the time we got him, he got him like one, like in the kidney on the way out. Like a left. He's hitting him hard?

Yeah. Yeah. Real punches. Real punches. Jesus. So now his clown leg is a little smudgy too. He's trying to convince me of this. Can of Fago.

The first can of Fago comes in. Poof. And it just sprays all over us. And he's so familiar with getting hit with Fago Cola. He goes, it's diet. It's not going to stain. I swear to God. He really said that.

That's hilarious. diet it's not gonna stay so then one comes in and in the oh nines got it on on camera she had a sports setting on her on her camera so the shutter is like faster so we've got this shot it's like this is a prudent from we got this can of soda this guy does a baseball pitch and you see it whizzing seconds before it hits up right in the temple no car rack and he just slumps over and he goes uh he slumps over the wheel and he goes i'm hurt i'm hurt bad by the way he's mid-sentence he goes you know something like that when the soda hit is that gonna happen to happen out of Dave Matthews? Correct. And he slumps over. He's like, I'm hurt. I'm hurt bad, Bob.

He's calling me Bob, so I know he's really fucked up. Not Bobcat. And I think he was out for a second. Oh, my God. So he hits the gas. And now, yeah, that's up, Chuck. Yeah, that's Joel. And so it was like the golf cart. That's crazy.

How old were you when this was going on, by the way? Just now. So 51 years old. 50? 50 years old. And so Upchuck is now full throttle, and I'm steering. Steer! And we're whizzing through the crowd like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

It's juggalo's time. And then, oh, I love this. This is actually beautiful. You know, he was concussed. His eyes were all fucked up.

Oh, God. And he's like, and we just went back to the trailer and we're just being really quiet and then he puts an ice cold Faygo on his side of his head.

Oh, that's hilarious. For the swelling because he's like going, he's going to look. He's like, am I bleeding? I go, I don't know where the makeup starts and what's blood. I don't know what's right. His head just swelled up.

A fucking can of soda to the head. That's hard. And then I'm not going to, he may or may not, it looked like he was doing some sort of stimulant after that too because it's – Now, were you worried about your safety while this was all happening? Yeah. Once I got in – yeah. And by the way, I'm no stranger to hijinks. You know?

Says the man who lit the Tonight Show couch on fire. You know, my wife says i have good ideas and bad ideas and i don't know the difference it's just ideas and i treat them with enthusiasm i may or may not have lit a quarter stick of dynamite in my backyard when i lived up i think it's a half a stick it was like a half a stick yeah and it blew up um this watermelon that shot all the way like three floors up it was that story goes and it gets kind of gory but i digress so i'm no stranger so like something explodes and and and and uh and my wife goes is that an m80 and i'm like no that's that's dynamite wow so i go up and i'm like, hey, where's my party people at?

No, I actually did a fine set. By the way, crowd was, you know, 1 o'clock, I hit the stage. They, you know, they like the tenacity. If you can actually hang, they're there. And I, you know, my oldest brother was a biker, so I'm kind of familiar with kind of outlaw behavior. It's never that, you never that freaky to me. And it seems like it's sort of an agreed upon thing at this sort of place.

If you're going to hang out with a bunch of people that are partying and they're calling themselves the Juggalos, some soda is going to fly through the air. It's going to be some craziness. Right. You can't get mad about soda. But up to the point of violence. But what you – the problem is, is if there is no law. Right. It's a little Lord of the Flies.

Yeah. Like some dude, they thought he was stealing, so they physically, I don't know what happened to him, but they tore his car apart. Like just dismantled it. Whoa. Yeah, so it's a little Lord of the Flies. Yeah, I mean. And I got paid in a plastic trash bag full of 20s really that's actually kind of badass yeah and then uh and then and then the cops are just at the lip just just just taking people

to jail they had a bus so you so we pull out right and the cops are going what's going on i go look i got a bag full of money my name's bob Bobcat Goldthwait. I'm a comedian. I was big in the 80s. And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, nothing weird. You guys, whatever you want to do, I'm completely straight. And they actually found that really funny. That is funny.

So they were looking for people to be drunk driving. And then they open up my bag of money, and they're like, I should do comedy. And they're all busting my chops. Were they looking for drunk drivers? Oh, just people high out of their minds. Anything. I mean, they were just popping everybody that pulled out of the street there. I like what you said about it being like a community and there's a lot of positive things to that.

There is. So, I mean, like I tell this story and I laugh and stuff. There is. So, I mean, like, I tell this story and I laugh and stuff, but was it any different than when I went to see the Allman Brothers with my brother Tommy and he was tripping on acid and his brother Biker, who's still alive, Big Mitch, who was a Green Beret, and we're going to see the Allman Brothers, and he suddenly thinks everybody going into the concert is Charlie.

Oh, my God. It was the best ever. What year was this? Probably like 78. Oh, my God. And I'm just like, oh, and, you know, sometimes when things go crazy, that's the other thing about me. During mayhem and chaos, I'm actually super calm.

It's because you've been around it so many times. No, but like everyday life will flip me out. Like you were talking earlier, the line in the post office, I can't handle correctly. I get upset and stuff. But mayhem, I get really calm. Really? Yeah, like a deer jumped out in front of us when we were up in Willow Creek. And I just said to my wife, I go, just stop the car.

She goes, what do you think I'm doing? I was somewhere up in Willow Creek, and I just said to my wife, I go, just stop the car. She goes, what do you think I'm doing? I get all zen, daddy. I don't know. That's pretty funny. That's better than the other way. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

But I know what you're talking about, about freaking out about lines and stuff like that. If you can't just stand still and relax in a line and then they're nice and slow. It's probably like an ADHD thing, right? When people are actually really freaking out. Well, it's the, it's the, it's the, you know, the 09 calls me a misanthrope. And I think that is not correct. Because I think what upsets me is I actually kind of have I think I try to think the best I really do even though I make movies

where I'm shooting people and you know and all these weird things I do kind of give people the benefit of the doubt I truly do when she said that she goes you're a misanthrope and I said you only say that because you're a person and she's always afraid that i'm going off the grid because at night she calls it the my lake porn like she comes in and said

what are you looking at it's just me looking at like look at this 80 acres a lake yeah it's got its own own it's going creek oh are you looking at like houses gonna get the generator going oh yeah go off the grid dude you and me i think about that, yeah. Go off the grid. Dude, you and me. I think about that shit all the time. Go off the grid? Yeah. Just squatch all day? Just squatching. Just set up a few gifting boxes. No, you went squatching. Yeah. I went for this new show I'm doing.

Did you start it? Yeah, the show started airing July 16th on the SyFy channel. It's called Joe Rogan Questions Everything. And one of them is Bigfoot. I've had a Bigfoot fascination since I was a little kid. When I was a little kid, I was camping in the Pacific Northwest with my stepdad. And there's a dude who was up there who was a trapper.

And he had like animal skins and shit. He was killing animals like bobcats, which I didn't think was kind of creepy at the time. I think that's really creepy. Well, I was only seven. No, no. I meant me. Yeah. But, and he told me about, you know, that all these people have had these Bigfoot, like,

experiences up there. And the way he was describing it, I barely remember. It's like a really whispery memory. But I remember that's what started me off on. I was always into monsters and shit when I was a little kid. I loved horror movies. So then I started, like, reading up on Bigfoot, and then I watched the Patterson footage. Eventually I saw In Search of Bigfoot.

In Search of is the one that turns everybody around. Did you see Boggy Creek? Yeah, I saw it. I think that had a – Boggy Creek, I didn't go back and revisit it, but I think that movie probably had a lot to do with my movie, Willow Creek, actually. I got addicted to that show, Finding Bigfoot 2. Have you watched that at all? Sure, sure, sure. Actually, Cliff and

Bobo showed up. I showed the movie up. I went back up. I showed it to the folks that are in it, because a lot of actual folks from the Bigfoot community are in the movie. How can we sell this movie? I mean, I'm just starting to play.

Without saying anything about it? Well, I'm just starting to play. I'm just playing festivals. The thing that I'm really happy is Bigfoot folks seem to really like it. Like Cliff said, this is the best Bigfoot movie he's ever seen. Listen, this is a great horror fun movie. It's a great fun movie. But I say really true to Bigfoot.

I try not to be cheesy. Oh, no. I didn't want those guys to know I don't want to talk too much about this movie Because I don't want to give any of it away Because I want people to see it It's you or me? Oh can I tell you one quick story? Yeah sure

I'm having a blast Thanks for having me on Oh please thanks for being on I'm having a blast too So you've me on. Oh, please. Thanks for being on. I'm having a blast, too. So you've got that American Werewolf in London. Yeah. I love that movie. Yeah, me too.

Yeah, so that blew my mind when I saw it. Now, where did you get that? Is that from? There's a guy named Pat McGee. He's a special effects guy, and he designs, if you go to McGeeFX.com, he designs a couple different things. Like, he does an alien, like from the movie Alien, and he just reconstructs life-size replicas.

It's crazy. Yeah, he's got a mold, and he uses yak hair, and it's incredible detail. One of the many, I don't know if you've ever heard this myth, but one of the many myths about the Patterson-Gimlin footage is that it's John Landis in the suit. Have you ever heard that? No, I haven't heard that.

Okay, so I've heard this. And so one morning, and I love American Werewolf. I love Animal House and all that stuff. Yeah, me too. John Landis is brilliant. But I don't know him. So I get a hair up my ass, and I'm like, I got to get to the bottom of this.

So I shoot my agent an email and I say, got this idea for a TV show for John Lannis myself. Total lie. I said, can you get me his email? And so she gets me his email. So I write him an email and I'm going to read it to you because he and I had this exchange. And I say, hi, John, I'm writing an article about the Patterson Gimlin footage. I'm not. I was just lying.

So thank God he's a nice guy. And was wondering, would you be kind enough to let me interview? Okay, so I go on and on. And I say, I want to clear up the rumors that John Chambers made the suit and that you were wearing it. So quickly I get this email back. Dear Bobcat, I am definitely not the guy in the Bigfoot suit in the Patterson Gimlet footage. What publication are you writing an article for?

How did you get my email address? That's funny. But I sent him back, and we went back and forth, and he was really cool, actually. I think he's probably tired of answering that question. Yeah, I'm sure. One of his early, he did a great movie, it's called Schlock, where he's in a gorilla suit.

You've probably seen it. Is it like a gorilla with a space helmet on? No. And it's a kind of famous image. And it's him directing the movie. I love the in the gorilla suit with the space helmet. Really? Yeah.

Because I got a great, I love this. There's a photo of me directing Shakespeare Clown in a clown suit. And I just, I'll never be in something I direct again, you know. And I'm like dead serious and everyone's laughing. And I look like such an asshole with no sense of humor in a clown suit. So it's called Schlock? Schlock, yeah. Never heard of it. Yeah, let me double check, but yeah, it is called Schlock. So I'm a big fan. I wasn't coming from, again, yeah, Schlock. I wasn't coming from a big

snarky place. I sincerely am a fan of Landis and stuff. But I thought there's a lot of Bigfoot rumors that I kind of thought, well, maybe I can use my connections. Not that I have connections, but I could disprove some of the things, like get into the John Chambers suit. John Chambers is the guy who was in Argo who did the Planet of the Apes. There's a rumor that he may have built the suit. And he did make a Bigfoot, but his Bigfoot I've seen. So whatever.

It is a rabbit hole. Well, it's a rabbit hole, but it's also a rabbit hole where a guy says he did it. His name is Bob Hieronymus. He walks just like that. He took a lie detector test and passed. He also was a con man. So was Robert Patterson. Robert Patterson also went to jail for writing a bad check to pay for the very camera that filmed that footage.

Yes. And he could go even deeper, actually. Yeah, the con man. Look, my belief in the Patterson footage, it boils down to the gait. It really does. It boils down to that knee and that leg. You've been listening to a bunch of knuckleheads, trust me.

That's a guy in a monkey suit. Let's play it. Let's play it. We'll go over it. It's a guy with a football shoulder pads on him in a monkey suit Let's play it Let's play it We'll go over it It's a guy with a football pad Football shoulder pads on In a gorilla suit Explain to me this

Explain to me this Okay I'm not confronting you I know But why This is just a more This isn't like proof But this is a weird thing

Why did They go to the trouble To give it breasts There's a stabilized one There's a stabilized one It's better Why did they That was Abraham Zapruder who shot that too. There's one look.

There's a couple things. If you notice, I want people to pay attention when you watch this video. But what about – why does it have breasts? That to me is the weirdest thing. I don't know. Why doesn't it have breasts? Why does it – But they couldn't make a suit like that in that time, and why would they take the extra thing?

There wasn't four-way stretch fabric that looked like fur at that point. not i'm not sure if that's entirely true a lot of knuckleheads and i also think that it's all it's ridiculous to say why would they make that that looks like a man you've been listening to a lot of dingbats that's what you've been you wackadoo you look at it move that is a man That is not a man. That is not compelling to me. That looks like it's a man. Are you serious? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, the gate looks like a dude with a big load in his pants. He's wearing a diaper. He's got football shoulder pads on. It's all fucked up, stupid outfit. And I think you're looking at it from, you know, the problem is, here's the problem. I can mind fuck myself. The problem is if you play it back over again, I go, that's fucking real. Yeah, man.

Look at the calf. The movement in the calf. I'll look at his ass. Back it up a little bit. Let's watch it again. Just look up calf. I'm going to try to mindfuck myself now. Here, I'm going to mindfuck myself.

Ready? Oh, my God. I think it's real. Let's see if I can mindfuck myself. When it goes back and forth like that, that's only, you got to play Yakety Sax. Look at that. Benny Hill comes out and slaps look at it walk let's let's let's zoom and stabilize on the big foot that's a kind of monkey suit i wish i could mind fuck myself but i can't i try i try but it looks so stupid it's so funny to you that it's like he's got

slightly longer hands like he's probably got some artificial hands in the suit. And if you watch this, look up Bob Hieronymus, Bigfoot walking. But his suit, I've never seen. There's some footage of him. I am fascinated. Split screen with Bob Hieronymus walking on one side of the screen and the Sasquatch. And God damn it, Bob Hieronymus was a big, gangly Sasquatch-looking motherfucker. Let's take a look.

And he passed the lie detector test. Yeah, but that's not a lie detector test. Yeah, but I mean, when the guy walks like a duck and quacks like a duck. He told the story so many times he started believing it. It's possible. He met O.J. Simpson, the whole thing. I think you can do that to yourself. I believe it 100%.

100%. You believe what? That you can do that to yourself? Sure. My memory of my childhood is so goddamn foggy. You know, I could go one way or another way and start telling a story about it one way. And then by the time I get 10 years down the line, I don't even fucking remember what really happened. Your childhood is so bananas.

Now, do you spend time trying to piece it together or do you move past it? What do you mean? Well, I mean, it's pretty nuts, the moving around. And I've heard you talk pretty nuts, the moving around. And I've heard you talk about it in the past. The moving around was nuts, but the really nutty thing was the martial arts. Competing and going and competing in martial arts tournaments throughout my high school years, that was the nuttiest thing. I was a child, and I was having martial arts competitions against grown men.

My instructor was crazy, and he made me fight grown men when I was 15. my instructor was crazy and he made me fight grown men when I was 15 so like from the time when I was 15 till I was 21 all I did was full contact martial arts tournaments that was way scarier than anything it was almost like I was so scared of growing up and I was so scared of being

an adult and I was so scared of just interacting with people and fitting in in any place because I was always the new kid and always moving I was so scared of fitting in that I just decided to do something way harder than that so i didn't have to think about that i tried to do the most obscure crazy scary thing to me well why did it's really weird uh uh not it's it's kind of sad to hear this no it, it's not sad. It worked out great. Well, but... It was sad. If I had to go back and be myself as a child,

it was often sad as a child, but ultimately it worked out. I mean, it's not sad to go through tough experiences and develop character. I don't think that's sad. I mean, I came out... There's a lot of people who came out a lot worse than me. It was fine.

But when did the comedy come about? That's the part that's weird. The comedy came about from Gallo's humor, from going to tournaments. I used to make my friends laugh in the locker room. I would make my friends laugh on buses and planes and shit. I would be the guy who was trying to crack the ice because we were all terrified. And I wasn't insecure around them. The guys that I trained with, it was probably the first time in my life I felt confident enough to talk out about things and make a joke about things things and not get told to shut the fuck up or someone's going to kick my ass.

That's what a lot of moving from town to town when you're the new kid, it's like you always have to defend yourself. You're always dealing with the local bully and it's a constant thing. So when I started doing martial arts, these guys all knew me, so I was comfortable around them. So then I would make fun of shit to sort of lighten the tension because everybody was scared because when you go to tournaments it was just fear the bus was filled with fear and everyone's scared and weighing in is scary and then every now and then one of us would get knocked the fuck out you get head kicked and and you deal with your friend just got concussed in the thing that you do for zero money go back in the bus go back in the bus got ice pack on his head, black eyes and shit.

And the parents are around? Do you call the family? They were all adults. I was the only child. Wow. Yeah, until some kids came along when I was like 19 and 20. There were some kids that joined up that was like 17 and 18. But for the longest time, I was really young.

Did you have any social life? Zero. Zero. No partying, no drinking, no nothing. I had a couple friends from high school. And my best friends actually went to the school that was the other school. And what about women? Did you have girlfriends at all?

Yeah, yeah. I had a girlfriend. Almost ruined me. My first girlfriend. Because as soon as they started having sex, I just didn't want to train anymore. I was like, why would I go do that? This is way more fun. Does everybody know about this?

Yeah, it was ridiculous. I was like, this sex is way better than martial arts. Getting my face punched in. Yeah. Having my nose shoved into my brain. Yeah, it was always a struggle. All right, so we were talking about Patterson before. I suddenly became a shrink on you.

I think if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck. Okay. I want you to watch this. This is Bob Hieronymus walking and then the Bigfoot. Bob looking and turning just like the Bigfoot. I mean, come on, man. Put that guy in a goddamn monkey suit. It's the same dude.

I don't think it's a mistake that the knees aren't shown here, honestly. I mean, if you look at the knees and the the the the the the the way the calf goes up you ever walk with ice skates on uh yeah you know how ice skates don't bend right and when you had to pick them up and make like an exaggerated walking motion what he what the bigfoot looks like to me is like a dude with like a suit on that's got like crazy feet on the suit and he has to walk a certain way because they don't bend. You know what's funny? I'm not giving way too much about the movie,

but there is footprints in the movie. Yeah. You shouldn't even say that. You shouldn't have said that. Oh, really? Yeah, stop. Stop right now. Oh, okay.

Make people, because there's so much about this movie that's so badass. If your movie sucked, I'd let you keep talking, but your movie's too good. Thanks, man. You'd let me shoot myself in the foot? Don't good. So I'm going to keep you from it. You'd let me shoot myself in the foot? Don't do it, goddammit.

Don't do it. So I'm just here to plug Hot to Trot tonight? It would be beautiful if a guy who's a con man just happened to be the first guy to actually see Bigfoot and film it. It would be fascinating. Well, don't you feel that way about being a comedian? You went out and where did you go? We went to the Pacific Northwest, but we're not going to fake anything. No, no, no. But I mean, but if you find something, they're like, oh, it's Joe Rogan, you know.

Yeah, no, absolutely. That's how I feel about it. Like I'm going up to Oregon and talking to Cliff and we're going to go out. But I also feel like I taint it, you know, the idea that, you know, if we find anything. I don't think so. I think if you're just like me and I think your feeling about it is genuine, you know, I think it's a fascinating subject. It's very possible that it's bullshit, but it's also very possible that it's not.

Let's throw it all out and say it is fake. Okay. What is it about the subconscious through thousands of years that people continually see these things? I mean, why is it, you know, and Teddy Roosevelt tells a story of, you know, why does it keep showing up over and over? Finish that. Teddy Roosevelt told a story in his book about a camp that he was at where a guy killed a wild man. Yeah. A wild man killed a guy killed a wild man. Or a wild man killed a man. Yeah, yeah.

And everything was destroyed. But so like all these stories that keep showing up, I'm interested too in that. Like what is it in part of our subconscious, what part of why do these archetypal characters keep showing up that happens to be a man in a woods? Could it be as simply as keep your kids away from bears? Or is it something bigger? Or is it an 800-pound wood ape? I mean, you know, it's all fascinating. There's so many different things to consider

when you say something like that. It's like, first of all, you have to consider that it's probably a conglomeration of a bunch of things. And one of those things being that everyone's afraid of the unknown. And when you look out into that dark woods and you just say, what the fuck is out there? This is when you said that. I started getting creeped out for the first time, by the way. And I was

in the woods 17 miles down a dirt road. 11 hours from L.A. north. Then we go to Willow Creek. Then you drive about 40 minutes to Orleans. Then you drive up this road. Then we drive two and a half hours down a 17-mile dirt road to get to the location.

So there's no phones. There's no planes going over. So two mountain lions. Whoa. Two mountain lions. Two. And I put the actors in the tent in that scene, and they're going, hey, man, why are we here? Man, we could do this in a parking lot.

That's true. That's so true. But they couldn't. No, because it was, you know, it feels fucking real. There's nothing about,

don't say any more, God damn it. You already said some shit. All right. But, motherfucker, stop talking about it. But it is,

I am happy that people like it, that it is scary, that there's laughs. And, um, uh, it was the most fun I had making a movie. Going down a dark road and getting into the woods of the Pacific Northwest,

it will give you this new appreciation of how ridiculously wild that area is. Yeah. The idea that we have an accurate account. Did you get a buzz when you're around the trees? The trees, yeah. There is, right? Or am I turning into a moonbeam? I mean.

Well, they're energy. I mean, trees are alive. But the oxygen that they make, you get like this weird buzz. I was not frightened. Everybody else was kind of frightened. And I was just like, I didn't realize this about myself. I just like dropped my trowel. I'm walking around in my underwear.

That's great. Jumping in the river. Is that where you want to get a lake house? Yeah. Or even I'm fine with a river now. You're squatching. That's what you're doing. You want to go up there and go squatching.

Yeah, man. And I don't want to, I'm not a prepper. I don't like that attitude. I really don't. Because it's like, I don't want to – I'm not a prepper. I don't like that attitude. I really don't because it's like – I don't like these preppers. It's like this weird end of times or Christian Judeo BS that they're buying into. Do you know what I mean? The world – if we've learned anything about the world, it's not going to go out with one big bang. It's just like things are going to fall apart, but it's not going to be anarchy.

It's just like, you know, things are going to fall apart, but it's not going to be anarchy. I don't know why so many people in every movie is about, you know, a Scientologist saving the world. I think we've been through several of those in history. I think we're better at understanding it now because we have the written word and we have history and we have all these different stories of the past, of civilizations that have deteriorated back when people didn't really have access to books and knowledge. It's some weird sort of hopelessness that's just – and I don't buy it. I don't. I don't. I don't. I think human beings are so resilient and – or there is the Carlin bit.

Maybe the earth need plastic. Well, as a – that's plastic. As a species, I think that we probably will carry on, but it's really easily conceivable that some natural disaster could happen that could wipe out most of the population of Earth. All you need is one big Yucatan-sized meteor that hits. True. And we're done. And there's hundreds of thousands of those floating around, not like three of them. But I'm not, I think I'm more of an optimist. I think when you just prep and decide to go underground, I want to go out in the woods

because I like the quiet. I like the smells. I like- It's beautiful. Yeah. It feels good. But everybody else with me was just completely flipped out of their minds. It's like this intern. There's this tiny crew, and he's like, hey, man, what's the difference between a bobcat and a mountain lion?

So where did you see these mountain lions? We saw two of them. Where did you see them? One in Willow Creek just walking across the street. Were you in a car or were you driving? We were in a car for one, but the other one was right where we were filming. And he goes, hey, man hey man bobcat and a mountain lion what's the difference i go bobcat stocky and um you know he's got like a short tail and a mountain

lion's tall and he's got a long tail he's like yeah i saw a mountain lion and i go where and i'm like i'm like you know this is like a verner herzog making fitzcarraldo i'm like out of my mind and i go, where? And he goes, to the left. I go, to the right, fellas. You know, just. There's a real problem with them not allowing them to hunt mountain lions anymore. Well, mountain lions, I found out later on, are badass.

They're scary. Well, here's the thing. They're cats. Yeah. So if you run. They chase you. You're a 200-pound mouse. You know what I mean?

It's just going to take you down. Yeah. Well, they go after people on bikes for that very reason. They can't help themselves. It's a mouse. Yeah. And so, like, you on a bike with a light as a laser pointer. Jeez.

And so I was like, how close were you? He goes, about five feet. Oh, Jesus. And if you've ever seen them, by the way, because the one I did see, and I have big balls. I was in a car. But the one I saw was huge. It's a lion, and they just walk. He was walking with a purpose across the road.

Like, I'm sure he's about to eat something. It's a real problem. California has banned hunting of them. Really? In some places, it banned use of dogs. You need dogs to hunt them because otherwise you'll never find them. But what happens to the dogs? The dogs bathe them

They bark, they get them up a tree And then the person comes along and shoots them Sometimes dogs get attacked though Yeah, that's a part of that story I'm not so happy about that either Now when you went in the woods, did you have a gun? There was a guy with us that had a gun Yeah, everybody kept saying, oh you got a gun?

You should have a gun around mountain lines I know, I know Now I know. We had a ranger with us. And he's also – he's a Bigfoot – Robert Liederman. He's a ranger and he's a – I'd say a Bigfoot enthusiast. He's a really sweet guy. Huge help on the movie, actually.

And, you know, it's like 3, 4 in the morning and he's like you know uh i'm a writer too i go oh really what do you write he goes you know twilight i go yeah he goes i write tween a tween novel set in the bigfoot world it's a coming of age story like twilight so two bigfoot hunters fall in love young young bigfoot a young bigfoot falls in love with a person no no people fall in love in the world i go what's the name he's like yeti or not and at this point yeah yeah and i'm like i go this is this is my air hose. You're like, this guy is the only thing keeping me alive tonight. Yeti or not. Oh, my God.

That's hilarious. I was very happy that he liked the movie. Again, you know, these were the folks. In the community. Yeah. Stephen Stufford up in Bigfoot Books. You saw that in the movie. This is the last thing I'm going to say about it. The howl.

The howl was very authentic. It's like I've heard the sounds that they supposedly connect with the howl. Well, that's the thing. You listen to that stuff, too. Okay, let's forget the Patterson-Gimlin footage, but there's so much stuff. Oh, no, no, no. I don't think there's no evidence that Bigfoot exists, and I don't think that Bigfoot doesn't exist. I think that when a guy's a coaxer, a guy's a bullshit artist.

I think that the past and get a coaxer a guy's a bullshit artist I met people when I was up in the Pacific Northwest that knew The Patterson and knew the other dude to Bob Gibbons. Oh, oh Hieronymus the guy wore the suit and they said those guys are bullshit artists They're always trying to make money and they've been trying to do it for a long time They'd had someone else make a suit they had to someone else make a suit and it didn't work and so they had this Who made that the fuck? Who the fuck knows. But you know what? That suit is an amazing suit for that time. It's not that good. Here's the problem.

This is one of them. Everybody wants to say that it's really good, but here's what's realistic. It's blurry as fuck. So you're not getting a real accurate, crisp version of what you're seeing. You're getting this smushy version of it. And so everybody wants to attribute it to muscles and this movement to like, there's no design,

no costume like that. I would buy that if you would show me a high resolution, crystal clear video of what we're looking at. But you're looking at blurry trees. The trees look blurry as fuck. You can't make out the very specific branches or the texture of the bark. So what you're looking at when you're saying that it looks so good, you're looking at this blurry thing that might be tits,

that might be a flaw in the costume, that might be his ass, or he's wearing a fucking diaper under a gorilla suit. I'm leaving. No. No. I think. Pull it up again. Let's watch it one more time.

I want to get back to the breasts. Stabilized. I always think that's very weird. It's weird, but it's not impossible to fake t Let's watch it one more time. I want to get back to the breasts. Stabilized. I always think that's very weird. It's weird, but it's not impossible to fake tits. But if you're trying to. It's not. In Los Angeles. Well, here's the thing.

Okay, how about this? Maybe they would feel like Bigfoot is way larger than a person, so you just pretend to be a female Bigfoot because Bob Hieronymus is 6'5". He's too small to be a Sasquatch. Oh, so they're saying that. So they give him tits. That's way more likely

than they filmed Bigfoot. Right? It's way more likely. All right, but you say that. Now, what Bigfoot do you, what evidence do you buy then?

There's a lot of things that are interesting. First of all, the footprints with the dermal ridges. That's fascinating because that's incredibly difficult to fake.

See, I'm looking at that, man. You know, there's... That's so blurry. Look how blurry everything is. It's all washed Yeah. Because that's incredibly difficult to fake. See, I'm looking at that, man. That's so blurry. Look how blurry everything is. It's all washed out. Look at that tree. You don't know what the fuck that tree really looks like. You can't see shit. You can't see anything. Well, this is a bad version. But this is the best version you can get, man.

It's just blown up. When you're looking at everything in the distance. So you want him shot on red? No, I'm saying it looks like shit. You want Laszlo Kovacs to be the DP? Dude, be honest. Look at the trees you're looking at in front of Bigfoot. I'm telling you what's going on. Look at the trees in front of him.

You can't even see any definition of those trees. They're in meal penalties right now. And Bigfoot says, Patty says, I'm out of here. Show them one more time. That looks real to me. Jesus Christ, you're crazy. One more time. Look at what you're looking at.

You're looking at incredibly blurry shit. You're looking at incredibly blurry trees that are all washed out and everyone trying to attribute all this musculature and definition. You barely know what you're looking at here. Why does this

hold up so much over there? It doesn't. But why? Look at you and I right now. It's the Jesus of the Bigfoot world. It doesn't hold up so much it doesn't but why it's the jesus of the bigfoot world it doesn't hold up it's just a film that has not been authenticated or or refuted it just hasn't been because science hasn't really spent any fucking time examining it what about goddamn bigfoot the what the yeti in russia no no the russians spent a lot of time examining that yes well they were fucking with us, okay? It's ridiculous. It's still limits real.

Let them waste their time. Waste their time on this monkey. What evidence then, if you're so opposed. The derma ridges are fascinating. That's fascinating. The melba ketchum DNA is fascinating. Really? In fact, on the show, we just had a geneticist go over that.

Yeah, but that's the stuff that people are calling BS on. It could be, but the deal is, though, this guy was a geneticist that overlooked the data, and it was his conclusion based on his understanding of genetics. He was an accomplished geneticist. But not published in any real

thing other than their own. No, that's because they couldn't get published. We are so far down the rabbit hole. No, it's a good thing to say. That's a better footage. This is when the O-9 checks out. No. Look, it's a fascinating subject.

I don't know if she's correct or wrong, this Melba Ketchum woman, or if it's a hoax, but when a geneticist says that he finds the information to be compelling, then I have to listen because I'm too fucking stupid to understand who's right or who's wrong. Now, did you ever see any of the story of Jimmy Stewart with the Yeti finger? Jimmy Stewart?

Jimmy Stewart. The actor? Yeah. He smuggled what was supposed to be a Yeti finger out of the Himalayas in his wife's underwear. It wasn't in her pants, but I mean, in her underwear. Honey, you're going to have to keep this in your pussy. Yeah. This is important.

It's a Yeti finger. You think it's hard getting weed out of it? It needs to be moist. No, it was in her underwear drawer, and they got it all the way to England. Now, that has been proven not to be a Yeti finger. What was it? I can't remember, but I remember that. Let's look it up.

It had DNA testing done to it. Jimmy Stewart Yeti finger results. But I, you know, you know what really works for me is a lot of the audio recordings. Well, obviously, because you were talking about that in the movie, and that is what works for me. I love listening to them. I think it's funny. You were talking about UFOs. I think it's funny.

People will go, well, where's the footage? Yeah. Well, there's a ton of footage on UFOs now that you can't wrap your brain around. Yeah. Okay, here's something interesting about the Yeti finger. They said the DNA tusks have found it to be a human bone. Well, here's what's interesting. Jimmy Stewart's wife smuggled a human bone?

A human finger. But they think that these things are fucking human. It doesn't mean that that's wrong. The people that I thought that they thought that this was like some sort of like orangutan, giant orangutan thing. But no. They think it's like that hobbit, that Homo florensis. You're aware of that?

That little tiny man that they found on the island of Flores. That was a human. Yeah, well, that's the Native Americans up in the Pacific Northwest. Some of the tribes just attributed the Sasquatch as another tribe. I mean, it wasn't, you know. Jesus. Now, have you gone down this rabbit hole? The amount of people who are disappearing in our parks.

No. There is no federal database set up for people who go missing in the parks. And it's, I can't remember the number. It's huge. There's an author who wrote a number it's huge there's an author who wrote a book about it it's really fascinating do they think

that these are yetis or he doesn't even go down that road he just says why is it we should look it up I don't know

what the number he's saying who what is this why isn't there and where are all these people gone I can't

I feel really bad for bringing up this. Well, it's usually they could starve to death. I mean, you get lost in the woods. And you could get lost easily. But the weird part is the Fed's not taking the time to have a database. I actually have a friend whose dad died in the woods. He went hiking, and then the fog rolled in, and he got trapped. Did they find him, though?

Eventually, yeah. Oof. Yeah. I think they didn't find him for a long time too. But, you know, you can die. Once you've been out in the woods like we were, what happens to your mind when you were out there? That's pretty funny to me.

Well, it's very. How late did you stay up? We didn't sleep in the woods. We decided to stay in a hotel that was in town that was 20 miles away. Yeah, but just being around there at night. When you're in those woods, okay, even in the day, when you go into those woods, you're gone. We were in Mount Rainier. You go into those woods, and it's another world.

First of all, there's elk that bound in front of you, and they're, oh, you know, 500, 600-pound animal just jumping in front of you. Yeah, that's weird when you run into an animal. I saw that up in Willow Creek. Elk are huge. That aren't afraid of you. That's the weird part. They don't even know what the fuck you are. Yeah.

Yeah. They've never seen one of you. Well, we slept there. They're living in those fucking woods. Which was pretty fun because a couple of the guys, it was really funny because we were at Laos camp, which if anybody knows, that's really close to that. And one of the guys goes, because we had two women, the actress and the producer, and I never had a woman here before.

This is around a campfire in the middle of the night. I go, fellas, I'm going to stop you right there. That's usually when the raping starts. Yeah, you shouldn't even say that, even if it's true. Keep that shit to yourself, son. I usually get women out here. Never had women out here. So as far as the things that they've collected, like the UFO, you know, quote unquote evidence,

to me, the most interesting shit is the howls that are really insane. Oh, sure. Primate howls. Yeah. And the dermal ridges that they found on footprints. Terrifying, too. Some of them was great, like in the middle of the night. It's awesome. I was once, before the keynote speaker got up, one of the guys, he mentions, there's two guys, like an opener.

There's the feature, there's the headliner, and the emcee. So basically the feature brings up UFOs while he's doing his Bigfoot pitch. And about a third of the room went, like, oh boy. Who brought this kook? A third of the room went, I'm going to take a piss. Well, there's people in the Bigfoot community that make fun of woodknockers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're up there woodknocking like they're just going to woodknock back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Well, I said, you know, these guys who are upset if you smoke tobacco around them. And there's people with crying babies and making bacon. Well, the one guy saying to the other guy that you never find Bigfoot because you smoke. I've seen Bigfoot three times. You're never going to see Bigfoot because you smoke. That's fucking, that cuts at a man's soul.

And I was like wondering, like, how does this guy feel about grass? Does he think that Bigfoot's down with grass? Bigfoot's probably attracted to weed. Well, I have noticed that a few of our fellow Sasquatch hunters could possibly be a little baked out there. Well, squatching when you're high is probably way more fun than sober squatching. In the middle of the night, you know? Yes. Oh, my God.

Sober squatching leaves much to be desired. I really think folks can't wrap their brains around how many millions of acres there are still in California and Oregon and Portland that are completely like a plane goes down and no one finds it. I think you're totally right. And I think that's one of the things that we tried to capture on the show when we went up into Mount Rainier. I was like, the way I described the trees, it's like a box of Q-tips. You know how you get a box of Q-tips and they're just shoved in there? That's all these trees.

I'm like, you're not getting through that. You're going to get through that going like this. One step right and one step left and one step right. You're going to like slowly have to seesaw your way through all these trees. Like this is an incredibly dense rainforest and there's thousands of square miles. Thousands. And you can't just get to the middle of it. There's not trails through all of it.

So if something was living up there, it could see you coming a fucking mile away. Hide from you so easy. Especially if it had better senses than us, which if it lives in the woods, it's got to have animal senses, right? Sure, of course. Probably has senses like a dog does. Sure. Dogs would be able to hear you and see you coming. There's no way a human being, yeah.

But deer. Deer see you coming a mile away. They hear you coming a mile away. Well, so tell me, or you're not trying to talk too much about the show you did. Who did you go out with? I'm not trying to talk too much about it. We went with these guys from Wasser, the Washington State Sasquatch Research Team. Was it a blast?

Did you have a good time? Oh, yeah. They were great guys. They were hardcore, dedicated squatchers. And they took us to some serious spots. And we saw some weird shit. We saw some trees that were arranged in some really peculiar positions in the middle of the forest. I'm nowhere and you're gone. We also saw some trees that were broken in the middle, which is really weird,

because there's no wind inside this forest. You know, you're deep, deep, deep in the forest, and you see trees that are snapped in half seven feet up. Like something grabbed it and snapped it. I don't know what the fuck it was. I mean, I don't know what happened, but it's weird. You know, you see that. But to them,

that's Squatch. That's the sound of Squatch. Squatch has marked this here territory. There's an area in Alaska. I don't know if you're familiar with it, how deep you went with your Bigfoot research. I have not gone to Alaska yet. Not if you've gone deep. I've been to Alaska,

but I haven't gone. But have you heard of the trees? No. Two trees that are uprooted? Jamie, see if you can find the photo. There's two trees in Alaska that they believe Bigfoot has uprooted and driven into the ground. Not yet.

I'm doing a gig up there in two weeks. Which town? I'm doing a gig in Anchorage. Yeah. Well, Anchorage is really beautiful. But, yeah, maybe that's why I'm going off the grid. Yeah, Alaska's great. I'm addicted to those.

At least you're going now. I mean, I did two dates in February in Anchorage. No! You kind of reassess your career choices the second time you go, hello, Anchorage. How cold was it? It was so cold, but it's this weird thing. There's guys wearing shorts and sneaks because you just go in and out

of heated things, and it's dry. There's snow places that never goes away and stuff. These are those trees. They're picked up by their roots and driven into the ground and no one knows how the fuck it was done. They know that it wasn't done

with heavy equipment because there's no, like apparently there's no marks on the trees that correspond to the use of heavy equipment. Now what do you think that... Supposedly. Allegedly.

I don't know. I mean, here's the thing. When you hear these stories, you're hearing about them. See if there's any other photos of that jamming. Better ones. I've seen some different ones that are more in detail. But you don't know how much you're dealing with. It's just people that are in love with that shit, you know?

Sure. But I, you know, there's... There is... There's a cynicism that you can have, and then there's the question of what if. And you could even say all this stuff is BS, but I do love the what if. Right, right, yeah. Jane Goodall thinks they're real. Yeah, Jane Goodall, yeah, sure.

That's legit to me. That's when the 09 gave me shark eyes when I pulled out Jane Goodall. Did she really? I mean, sharks, they roll back before they bite. She's like, wow! Well, people that think it's bullshit and you start pulling out Jane Goodall. That's pretty legit. You start pulling out Jane Goodall.

That's, well, you know, that's, again, the 09, she likes to say this movie, Willow Creek, that's what the name of this movie is that we're talking about. I can't announce it yet. It got into some bigger festivals. That'll happen soon. How is it not just in the movies? I think that there's, you know, that you can make a good trailer for the movie, and I think it could open. I think it's different than the other movies that made.

It's fucking great. Oh, thanks, man. I would go see that if I was on a date. Sure. It's a great date night movie. Well, thanks, man. It's fucking fun. It's a fun, look, and obviously I'm very biased because I love you, and I'm a Bigfoot dork, so it was a double combination, but I enjoyed the shit out of it, man.

Well, thanks, man. Thanks, thanks. You're welcome. you're welcome you're welcome i am you know it's funny i i just you know i'm starting now to make about a movie a year different sizes different budgets different people and uh and then in the meantime i do other i work for other folks and i do stand-up like i'm about to go do patton's new uh comedy central special i'll direct that oh that's You're going to direct a stand-up special? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where's he filming that? He's going to be at Comic-Con. Oh, wow. That is really... That's perfect. Yeah, that is like if... You stack the deck. Yeah, exactly.

That would be like if you were in one of those giant southern cathedrals that holds the megachurches. Yeah. And then Christ actually just came out of the floor. He just showed up. That's what Patton at Comic-Con is going to be like. I love Patton.

Yeah, he's brilliant. I love his writing. It's fucking fun, man. Yeah, he's brilliant. So that kind of stuff, like if I can work with a comic and try to make it easier when they show up so they're not worrying about some knuckleheads, that makes me really happy. That's just as satisfying, believe it or not, as going out and doing a show. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, because I love comics and I don't like it when people make it harder. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Just before you go on TV, everybody's saying the worst thing. You're going to do good. Don't stay the fuck out of here. Shut up. Shut up. You're not making me lose. Yeah, that's the worst thing ever.

They're questioning. You're going to do good. My friend Tony. Tony V? Yeah. He was on Letterman. I love Tony V. I sent him flowers when he was on Letterman,

and it just said, don't fuck this up. And then one time he was taping another TV show, and it was years ago, and I go, Tony, I'm coming down there tonight to watch you tape. He goes, oh, really? No, I'm bringing Robin Williams, so don't fuck this up. He just thinks you're my friend he doesn't know that you're funny so really do good he's like you're a fucking asshole and then

of course you know you do that to a guy and they go up and they're they're laughing because right subconsciously he's going well bob wouldn't bobcat was not going to tell me i'm gonna fucking blow if you know i mean so yeah so you need a safety zone you need you need friends that aren't driving you nuts before you go on. What I like about what you've done with your, you know, I hate the word career, but I guess that's what it is. Career always seems so formal. Yeah. How you express yourself.

What I like about it is that you have not boxed yourself into any one corner. Like this Bigfoot thing is this fucking freaky horror movie. That's why I love it. It's like so funny. It's like people, you know, the perception and then you make it. And it's really fun to watch with an audience. But what I was going to say is also like I'll run into you and you're directing the Chappelle show. I ran into you and you're directing Kimmel.

Yeah, yeah. I mean you're doing all this weird shit, but you're equally competent at all of it and seems like you're equally enthusiastic about all of it. Yeah, well, thanks. Which is, it allows you to direct someone's stand-up and enjoy it as much as doing your own stand-up, which you also enjoy. Yeah, I'm pretty lucky. Now, the other side of it is, it's probably the least secure I've ever been financially.

But there's something awesome every time you jump off and you go, hey, what am I going to do next? And every time it works out in some harebrained way. I mean, I gave the commencement speech at my daughter's school at Hampshire College. Well, first I went up and I just read an Oprah speech word for word. You know, whenever I'm nervous, I always go to Oprah and then, and it was all about making it and I was like, blah, blah, blah, dreams and hopes.

And I go, this doesn't apply to any of you kids. You gotta, you guys gotta quit as often as possible in life until you end up someplace that you don't want to leave. And you can smell the parents' stomach acid. They just spent all this money on an education. That's so true. That's actually amazing advice. Quit as many times as you can until you find something you don't want to leave. And there's a weird thing for guys our age.

I mean, you're younger than me. But we're doing all different things., are we enjoying them or not? And then all of a sudden, this age, we come onto our own. And the freaky part is, like, after World's Greatest Dad, I wrote five screenplays. I mean, I just write screenplays all the time. And someone goes, well, who are you competing with? And I'm like like the grim fucking reaper man i'm not like sitting looking over at you know competing with that's not an interesting

question that if you produce anything you create something you're competing against somebody to create it what a shitty mentality but common you know it's a common thought yeah and as soon as you can remove those guys and make it yourself instead of other people and you're not judging what you make by their standards and stuff, it's a pretty awesome place. Yeah, that's the thing about being a grown-ass man too. It's like you get to a point where you're comfortable in your own life and you're comfortable with what you do and you know what's good and what you've done. You've had enough feedback by what you've done

that you enjoy what you've done, that you did for money, and then you get to this sort of place where you're like, okay, I know what I'm doing here. Yeah, and I'm not on a pink cloud. There's gigs I take for the bread and there's things I do, but it does make it a little easier

when you're sitting there and you're asking, what is your police academy? I'm interested in that. Oh, it has to be Fear Factor. Fear Factor, okay. And you're polite, I'm sure, when people talk about it. I enjoy doing it.

You know, Fear Factor, there's nothing artistic about Fear Factor. But I had a lot of great moments. But there are a couple questions that you've heard a million times, right? Oh, yeah, a billion times. And what is it? Oh, did you ever eat any of that stuff? Hey, Joe, is fear effective for you? Yeah, but

I have a very healthy attitude about it, and I'm happy that people enjoy the show, and I understand what it would be like if I enjoyed the show and I ran into me. I might say something stupid too. I might say, is fear for a fact of you, buddy. Because I wouldn't know what else to say.

I'm an idiot. But you don't detest it. We do our best and smile through it. Yes. But this person doesn't realize they're the third person that stopped me today. At the airport. And asked me at the airport. As you went to your gate.

No, you know what it is? You know what it is? It's always, you know what it is? It's the security people. When you're taking your belt off. Yo, man, where's that movie with that horse at? Yo, man, you did that movie with that horse? You did the movie with the beer. Oh, you did that shit?

You're like, oh, man. But now it's worse because they go, I don't know him. They're all looking at me. I never heard of him. Do the voice. It's the worst. Jimmy Kimmel loves to bust my balls harder than anyone about the voice. It's just, you know, like if we're doing the show and, you know,

doing the commercial, I go over, do the voice. I go, you prick, you know. That's hilarious. Jimmy went and got a star, and that was and I hadn't seen him in a while, so I went with him while I was very touched. He got a star on the Hollywood Boulevard? Yeah, it was really sweet. It was a real Capra-esque moment with everybody,

guys that I've seen in and out of his life. It was really sweet to watch. But the O-9 goes, you know, I tried to get you a star. And I go, what happened? They said, ma'am, the posthumous request, swear to God, is another. It's another. They thought you were dead? Yeah.

And I said to her, I go, well, then what did you do? She goes, well, the guy insisted you were dead. And I said, I'm your wife. And I was like, I would have taken a dead star. I don't care. You know, I would have showed up in, like I don't care. I would have showed up in gore makeup. That would actually be hilarious. They gave you a star.

You're dead. They gave you a star. And then you showed up. And they're like, what the fuck is going on? She's coming out of the lower down. She's alive. In this day and age, everyone's zombie obsessed. Yeah, just coming in gore makeup with maggots coming out of an eye socket.

She killed me! That's hilarious. That would be really funny, man. Especially if you, I mean, sure, you can get somebody in Hollywood to do it up really good, like Walking Dead style where it looked realistic. Sure, yeah. That would be awesome. So I have a question.

You did this one episode. What's the next one? Well, we're doing six. We're picked up for six. It starts July 16th. I had a similar idea, but what I wanted to do, and this was after shooting Willow Creek, I thought it'd be funny to go, let's say I go the Jersey Devil, right? Right.

But I make it because I'm interested in filmmaking, so I get Kevin Smith to go with me in a tent, and we go and sleep out and look for the Jersey Devil. Yeah, that would be great. And then you just keep going, but it's always like, you know, John Waters is Baltimore, and we go find this haunted house in Baltimore. Again, you know, it just can't be. That's funny.

What I'm doing is some of them I'm doing with comedians, like I did one with Duncan Trussell. He went with Looking for Bigfoot with me. Oh, okay. And Ari Shaffir is going to go to a transhumanist conference with me in New York. Transhumanism is- I don't know transhumanism. People that want to download consciousness into computers, like Ray Kurzweil and the

like. All the people that are into robots. And so he's going to go and do some of that with me too. So a lot of it I'm doing with comic friends. But it's cool to go, have an open mind, and just not be snarky because here's the thing, what people don't realize, all these different subcultures and stuff,

they have a sense of humor. Yeah. You don't have to roll your eyes. Right. I mean, like, there's a lot of laughs and willow creek from these guys, and they're just, you know, they know they're making jokes. They're not, you know. Yeah. Listen, the guys that we were hanging out with up in Seattle, Mount Rainier, they were great guys.

Yeah. And one of the guys had a great point. He goes, hey, he had never seen Bigfoot. And he had been fascinated by it, and he'd been looking. He said, listen, if I don't ever even see Bigfoot, I'm still camping. I'm enjoying the wilderness. I'm out here having a good time. He goes, I enjoy every step of the way.

Which makes me wonder why people get so aggressive about it. People get aggressive about music. But I mean, yeah, that's true. You know, they get aggressive about movies. That guy sucks! They get aggressive about TV shows. Like, how the fuck can you watch this? I had a...

Now, it's actually so played out, but I had a story when I was directing Kimmel's show about Nickelback. And the first time I tell the story, I go... And I wasn't... I think making fun of Nickelback is really hacky at this point, but I really said, I go,

what's the band that sucks? And the guy, I mean, Nickelback. I go, yes, they were on the show. Now,

as a comic, I go, I'm going to see if that works tomorrow night. And it does. Of course. Every time. It's like,

it's really funny that these guys, for some reason, are the whipping boy of music. I don't understand that. I'm confused, but I'll join in. I will tell stories out of school that uh you know uh the the the manager of nickelback came into the booth and he goes don't shoot chad from the front and i'm like i don't even know what

chad is you know i i figure out that's the lead singer he says don't shoot chad from the front. And I'm like, I don't even know what Chad is. You know, I figure out that's the lead singer. He says, don't shoot Chad from the front. I was like, why? He goes, because of his nose. Just shoot him.

Don't shoot him profile. Just shoot him in the front. That's what, I'm sorry. He says, shoot him in the front. No profile. That's what I said.

I was like, okay. So he leaves, and all the cameramen are my best friends. When you're a television director, that's who you really bond with. And they're like, oh,

don't shoot. Hey, Bob, can I direct? direct you know you're letting the manager nickelback direct you know they're really busting my balls so if you see the kimmel show as the show goes off the air the band's playing right and and so i go yeah there's there's a profile shot and uh just as uh i go to this the ad i go tell me when I have 10 seconds left. She goes, okay. And she goes, 10 seconds. I go, shoot the nose. And six cameras go whizzing in from every direction.

And I did a montage of his nose. I go, ready camera five, ready four, ready three, ready six, ready seven. And I just, and we just went off the air with this guy's nose. That's hilarious. And so it got super quiet in the headsets, and the guys go, hey, man, what are we going to do now? And I'm like, ah. I didn't plan for that. I'm getting in my car.

Have a good weekend, guys. Did anybody yell at you? Well, I know that it didn't make the West Coast broadcast. They censored the nose well i'm sure people flipped out because i did that something that i did something like that to another band and that's his fucking nose it's not that bad he's not an ugly guy again though if someone didn't come into the booth and tell me what to do i wouldn't even have done the tribute to his nose what do do you attribute the whole hate for Nickelback to? I don't know.

Is it that they're too smooth? I don't know. Are they too polished? I don't, I mean, there's... Too poppy? I don't understand why just suddenly everybody gangs on Nickelback when there's so much more crap in the world. Yeah, what is it? I don't know.

It's just this weird... Well, you know what it is? I'll tell you what it is. There's a safety in bullying. You know, if we all decide that we're going to bully Nickelback, then you're not bullying me. Or Justin Bieber. Yeah, yeah. Or whoever.

Fill in the blank. Liking him or disliking Justin Bieber, I don't have that kind of time, you know? You know what I mean? I don't even know. You know, he's not for me. Right. Although he does. But then again, you're a 50-year-old man, you know.

Yeah, but here's the thing. Yeah, and I just, you know, I think of him in terms of like Donny Osmond when I was growing up. Yeah. You know, I was threatened and weirded out. And then when I got older, I was like, hey, Donny Osmond's not a bad guy. He's a nice guy. Yeah. Isn't that weird?

You end up meeting all these. And Donny was super nice. I did his show. He had the Donnie and Marie show. I had a Donnie doll that I used to bring out a puppet and do. So stupid. And do weird things with. Do like a puppet show with him?

Yeah. Put words in his mouth. Well, you know, I'm gutting fish. So it wasn't that much of a stretch for me to pull out a Donnie Osmond doll. My early standup, there was no jokes. I mean, it's nice that you like to meet Bob because I had material then, but it was just doing one weird thing after another.

I was super influenced by Andy Kaufman and Steve Martin and stuff like that. So if I did well, it would kind of go well, and then sometimes when I did bad, the show would go off the rails, you know? It just ruined all the other guys' nights. Well, you guys were, it was such a, that comedy environment was such a hot environment, but it also, the Boston comedy environment really supported originality.

Originality was really huge in Boston. Yeah, it was for weird. It was nice that if you were derivative, you didn't get work. And you got shit on. Sure, yeah. You got shit on by all your peers. Nobody just let that slide. They kept a high standard, which is difficult for people who don't want to maintain a high standard.

But for people that you realize that you're going to have to be judged by your peers, you kick it off a little. So you got this weird court of your peers. So you don't do this, you don't do that. You don't do other people's acts. So then you go on stage. Then we're going to goose it and have some of the toughest, worst crowds in the world. Yeah. So it was a good place. Nick's Comedy Stop.

Sure. Animals. Did you do the parody? Play it again, Sam's. Sam's. I had my own. I had a thing called Dollar Night at Sam's. And it would be me and Stephen Wright, and we'd walk the room.

We'd be like, what the hell was that? I started out at the Paradise. Stitches. Oh, really? Stitches. It was my first gig. So I have a question for you. Do you think anybody's going to come along as a comedian and ever be what Steve Martin was? Do you know what I'm saying?

Or do you think we're too fractured as a society? Like, my mother weighed in on Steve Martin. She thought he was funny. You know what I'm saying? And you did as well. So it went across the board. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Jim Gaffigan is squeaky clean and I think funny to everybody. Brian Regan. But these guys

appeal to everybody, but they're not the phenomenon. They're not on the cover of Rolling stone they're not yeah right i feel you yeah i don't think i don't think i don't think it could happen i mean there's certain things i don't think can happen anymore because of the digital age i'm not saying it's good or bad but i'm just saying i don't know about that because dane cook cracked through because of the digital age and although his was like more of like a teeny bopper sort of a crowd, that guy was doing 18,000 seat arenas. That was very Steve Martin-esque. But when I was growing up, Steve Martin you had to deal with.

My parents, if they were alive, would not know who Dane Cook is. Yeah, but that's just Dane Cook. I'm saying he broke through in his digital age. Sure, no, I'm saying there's going to be people that will be huge, but I don't think there will be people that are so huge that everybody in the family knows them and they're a phenomenon. I wonder. I don't think it could happen again.

You might be right. And we are definitely more fragmented than ever before. In a way, it's a good thing because there's a lot more audience for more obscure people that wouldn't have had an outlet before. I think that's great. I think that's great i think that's great too but i do worry about like um the our exposure to our our world gets minute or maybe i'll just say for myself am i going to go to bbc and learn today about the you know about the events or am i going to click on bigfoot site and go down a rabbit hole for two hours.

What do you think is going to happen? I'd do the same thing. There's something, you know, when you had a newspaper, now it's like, I'm an old guy yelling, get off my lawn. But you had a newspaper, I go through, oh, I'm interested in that. I didn't know that was going on in China. And I think the digital age makes it a little bit too much. You can find news that agrees with your outlook, which is weird.

The news should not be, you know, it should be, it's never impartial, but it should be somewhat. Yeah, you could, if you have confirmation bias, you could support it really easily on the internet, just stick into a bubble. Yeah. I love like whenever, when I'm ego surfing and I see someone call me a libtard. I'm like – I'm so out of there. A libtard. A libtard. Yeah.

When someone calls you a liberal, that's hilarious. Self-hating liberal. Liberal is one of the weirdest sort of insults ever because if you look at the – like, okay, let's look at the official. The definition of it. Yeah. What's the official definition of liberal? Okay. Where's – yeah the official. The definition of it, yeah. This is the official definition of liberal. Okay, where's the... C-LibTard. Wikipedia, C-LibTard.

All right, look it up in a dictionary. It says, to open to new behavior or opinions and willing to discard traditional values. That's hilarious. That sounds pretty positive. discard traditional values. That's hilarious. That sounds pretty positive. Unprejudiced, unbigoted, broad-minded, open-minded, enlightened, permissive, free, free and easy, and easygoing. Now, the only thing that seems to be threatening to me would be to folks is disregarding,

what was it? Disregarding traditional values. Yeah, see, that's very threatening to people. There's people that treat the Constitution as if it's like the Ten Commandments, like that there's no, you know, we're checks and balances. You know, we can change and adjust things, but there's people that are so ingrained, that's really scary, you know? I think there's also the real problem with liberalism is a lot of people know that folks naturally are inclined to be lazy fucks and if you give people an easy way out they'll take it so as soon as you start advocating giving people aid or helping people out or people

get them up get that fucker up it's like there's a part of people that resents them immediately resent yeah there's a resentment against like the ideas. Resent them immediately. Yeah. There's a resentment against the ideas that liberals are not into hard work. But what happened after World War II? It's like, hey, you're down on your luck. Here's your GI loan. Here's this. Here's that.

It was a much, much, much harder world that they were dealing with. And it was only a couple of decades after the fucking Depression. Yeah. Where people are much more used to living together, scraping to get by. Your parents almost starved to death 20 years ago and they all have stories about it. My grandfather had horrible stories about the depression. Yeah, my old man lived through the depression

and that'll make... Well, my old man's a whole other can of worms, but... As was mine. You know what? Would we be sitting here talking no yeah you'd never you'd never be a comic i think that's one of the number one pieces of i've never met a comic that didn't have a fucked up life yeah i don't think i've ever met one basically i think my act, it was me going on stage going, Mom, do you hear me? I think that's in a nutshell. Yeah.

That's 100%. But it's funny how my favorite art form comes out of that imbalance. It seems like it's the only way to achieve it. To achieve it correctly, there has to be some sort of a deficit to create this. It's a reaction to a lack of something. It's not just a natural progression from, I was kind of a funny guy in high school, and I figured, let me try out this stand-up thing. Well, here's the thing.

What we're missing is that those times that we bombed, we probably should have never got back on stage. Right. But we eat it and then go back up again because it's horrible. It's a crazy weird thing. Often the funniest guy in the room is not the comedian.

Often. Many times. The comedian's got the illness or the nads to go up there. Or both. Yeah. But you you know something's happening lately on stage and this is this is not me lying that all of a sudden for the first time in 30 years i'm sometimes having fun up there i was always panicked the whole time really yeah something new like all of a sudden um i'm uh i i don't know. I'm on this new thing. Sometimes with the right crowd, I actually enjoy it.

Yeah, it's a new thing. Isn't that funny? Something that people enjoy so much to come see, and it looks like you're having so much fun up there. But for a lot of folks, it's just terror and fear and worry about bombing and just fucking trying to get it when it's over. And then you're like you're fucked two more shows tomorrow yeah yeah yeah even if you're killing every show you know sometimes it's a it's a new

thing you know suddenly it dawned on me what was a new thing that dawned on me is like uh uh it was, okay, these people have an expectation, and I'm not doing that. But how can I warm up to them? How can I include them so it's not just me saying, this is what I see the world as. This is what I see as funny. If you don't like it, cram it. I'm not saying compromise what I believe in. But suddenly I was doing, like, a little bit of crowd work that wasn't like, you know, how do you know when you're finished? You know, to actually just sit around and poke around and talk to folks.

And it's been different. It made doing stand-up a lot more fun. That's awesome, man. I love when people like refine the joy of performing or find it. Well, like Cosby's funny still. And I'm like, like oh what is he doing how is he doing that how is he funny he doesn't have an opening act

yeah yeah Cosby does like an hour and a half hello everybody and sits down and boom it was actually Louis that said to me he's like go see Cosby he goes he's gonna do a ton of material you're gonna think 20 minutes went by.

He's still funny. And lo and behold, yeah, I go. And I was like, this is weird. I wanted to be bitter and he ruined it. Well, maybe it's because he just enjoys the art form. As long as like stand up to me seems like when I feel like when I'm like really tuned into it, I'm as much of I'm like a passenger. And I feel like it's a group hypnosis thing. Like you lock people and you know how to do the bits right.

You know where it's going. You know the setup and you hold the pause. And it becomes like this big, and if you tune into that frequency and nourish it, as long as you continue to nourish it, it seems like something that would always be there. It seems like when people lose it is when they take a couple years off and then they go back again or something happens and they're not really into it anymore. Well, or I think it's maybe the opposite. It's like when people just, this works, I'm going to do it and just get out of here tonight with my life, get the check.

You know what I mean? Right, right. Because I know I have done that, you know, but this is different, a new phase where I go up there and I go, all right, it's not a mistake you're here. You know what I mean? Right. Slow it down. Slow it down.

And instead of just blurting out those new ideas, you know, that's usually what I do, like in the first couple of minutes, whatever the new ideas is, and then I do the act. I go, slow it down. It has been new. and then I do the act. I go, slow it down. It has been new. Maybe people are like, I'll see.

I keep doing it and see if folks like it. Are you more comfortable as a person now? Yeah, yeah. So is that it, you think? Yeah, I'm not like rainbows and crapping unicorns all day. I mean, I get dark,

but I will say the majority of the time I'm happy, and I'm happy when I'm making stuff. So now I know that, well, okay, no one greenlit this movie or no one did this and that. I pick up my, you know, I start writing. It doesn't matter if it gets made or not. That process is very freeing.

Yeah, there's something about creating things where, especially if people enjoy those things, if you can put those things out and people can actually get like a... Say someone goes to see Willow Creek. If you go and see this movie, what you're going to get is a feeling. You're going to sit down

and this thing's going to happen in front of you and you're going to... You're going to have all this feeling attached to you and you as the pretentious word artist, but you as an artist, like as someone who's created this, gets to sit there and realize that your effort, your thought, your focus, all this, you piece it together, you edit it up, and boom. And then you deliver it, and then you get to watch all this positive reaction.

You just want to go do more. You just want to continue that cycle of well for me i think it's kind of like i keep making these movies and it's really exciting especially like the last four when when after the movie people are are chatty they're like which happens it's really sweet and and and and um and i guess basically what I'm doing is I'm shooting out a flare saying, do you guys see this? Do you guys feel this? Is this right? Or is this – what's going on?

Or wouldn't this be cool? Right, right. That's what I'm doing when I make a movie. Well, that's the way to do it, man. I mean, it's a true form of expression. Instead of you saying, oh, this will sell. Hey, if I box this with that and add in a funny black guy, boom, I'm fucking in. I do the voice. Yeah.

Instead, you're like, you know what, man? I'm fucking into Bigfoot. Let's make this weird fucking crazy movie about Bigfoot. Well, that's what I got to say about my wife. That's really funny. She says, go. Go to your big foot she let me drive around for a week so is that what you did to write it you just drove around i truly wasn't even like writing it was really just just uh i'm gonna go i'm gonna talk to people i'm just gonna do this with no agenda. Wow. I knew that someday I'd probably make a movie,

but it was really more just like, do you know how freeing that is? Yeah. To take out five, six days and not have, you know. I still had to do a couple phoners, which is funny. They go, where are you? I'm looking for Bigfoot. That's hilarious. You're doing phoners for gigs, like for upcoming gigs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like for upcoming gigs?

Yeah, yeah. I'll be in Peoria at the jukebox but right now, I'm at, you know, so. So you go out there,

you take 11 days, you go wandering around for Bigfoot. Where did you decide to start? Did you have a specific, like? No, no.

I drove up first to Santa Cruz and the Sierras too and I drove around there. I heard Santa Cruz is amazing. I've never been. I heard it's beautiful up there. Yeah, it's really, really awesome.

You know, I just went where, like, kind of poked around and knew certain sites where people had seen, you know, or heard or, you know, events. You know, so. And that's, again, I ended up in Willow Creek. I didn't go up to Happy Camp, which I probably will still. I mean, that's another pretty, a Sasquatch. Happy Camp? Yeah, it's above Orleans. It's above Bluff Creek and everything.

It's still another place that there's a lot of Squatch activity. Isn't there a bunch of different names for those areas, that are like monkey names and ape yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah in oregon yeah very strange how many why yeah and in um in mount rainier up in that area there's a bunch of names that are the the one of the north american names for bigfoot there's a bunch of like canyons that are named after that. So this guy starts talking about all these different areas, and it's got this weird North American name in it. And he said, well, that's how we started our Bigfoot squatching. We just started going to all these places

that the North American Indians had named after Bigfoot. I'm like, that is fucking crazy. They named spots? Again, yeah. It makes you fucking think. Yeah. crazy like they name spots again yeah that's it makes you fucking think yeah and it's also but when all said and done you know it's and whenever you're a subculture you're gonna get ridiculed and picked upon but like you said it's just camping it's camp and it's fun there's

something silly about i mean i went with dunkin truss and we ate pot candies and had a fucking blast well that's what i was wondering about because i know some of these guys are high of course but they're very worried about what bigfoot you know because bigfoot likes different smells and yeah right i'm like are they are they eating it they gotta eat it well if they're smart they'd eat it but even if they if you eat strong weed like yeah it's still you open up like like, I remember one time, I won't even say his name, but we were on a plane. And he had brought a Tupperware thing and his fucking carry-on with weed cookies. And it was an international flight, okay? And this motherfucker opens the lid and he goes, do you want one?

Redman's not here. You can say it. It wasn't him. No, I know. I'll tell you that. He opens the lid and the smell was so strong. I'm like, oh, my God, we're going to jail. I'm like, are you crazy?

Do you know what that smells like? He's like, I can't even smell it. And I was like, you can't smell it because you've been smelling it for so long. You are it. You are it. You've become it. It was so scary. It was so powerful, strong.

I would think if you had those brownies out there in the woods, Bigfoot's going to fucking smell them. Have I ever told you the Tony V story about when he was the American Tourist or Gorilla? No. This is great. I don't think so. Tony won a contract to be the Gorilla and so he'd show up. Tony's a big guy, right?

He's like 250. Maybe a little heavier sometimes. He's a big guy. I think he was about three bills when he was the gorilla. So Rick Baker builds him a gorilla suit that's 20 grand. It's made of, like, real hair, and it's got this whole gorilla muscle structure. Now Tony goes to, like, hockey games and stuff, and people get mad. He goes out on the ice, fuck you, gorilla, you're not the real gorilla.

People are just mad. We're fucking horrible, aren't we? Animals. Animals. So Tony, the gorilla suit's got a better deal than Tony. It's got a guy that travels with these anvil cases and packs it up. And so Tony's doing stand-up in the meantime with me and hopscotching while he's doing the gorilla dates now the gorilla suit is not with us but

he's got this this onesie this big unitard that he wears under the gorilla suit and clearly he was having some chafing problems so he goes and so we're getting searched through customs going out of Canada. And there's all this like white powder and rocks that form from his sweat, from the crotch sweat. Oh, my God. The custom guy licks his finger and he picks up one of the rocks and he tastes it from his balls. Oh, no. It was a ball. No. it was a rock of baby powder no from his balls his balls sweat and i think i'm kind of i think i'm witty all i do is i go

uh his balls that's all i get i'm just tears tears and that's all you can get out of the guy as soon as the rock this thing hit his tongue he was just immediately he was like I don't know what he's

he's like he could tell like he's like balls and old man dick and he's just like what the fuck

is going on it was the best face ever just like hyperventilating we were we were actually cause I love Tony like because I love Tony.

Tony, I love Tony. We're just holding each other up. We're just two guys just wrapped around each other, crying. It was the best thing. And what is the guy doing? It was the best thing we ever saw. What is he doing? Furious.

Furious. He's mad? Furious. What the fuck? Who told him to put it in his mouth? We could have stopped him by the way Yes He licks the finger

And then he's got all the way down And we both look Like our heads snapping That is so funny That was the best thing ever He thought it was coke He thought he was catching someone with coke Yeah he thought he got the big

I got a big case here He's got the The big collar He's gonna get kicked upstairs Oh that is so funny I don't Tony V told me one of the most important things that I ever learned about driving. Because he was driving back and forth from New York to Boston.

It was a long thing. And he was doing it a lot. I forget what he was working on, but he was driving back and forth a lot. And I go, how do you do that without going crazy? He goes, I just go zen. He goes, when I'm in the car, I just say, now this is what I'm doing. He goes, I don't say, man, I wish I wasn't doing this and I could be doing something else. He goes, I just say, this is what I'm doing. And that's, I never thought about it

that way. I was like, yeah, you can do things you don't want to do like that. And just, just have it in your head. This is what I'm doing. My wife had a friend who, uh, he was, uh, he sold ice cream in an ice cream truck, and it played Turkey in the Straw over and over. What is that? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- at my favorite song. And so it became his favorite jam. Wow, that's madness. Yeah, yeah. Ice cream truck, that would be the best job.

That would be horrible. You could deal with a lot of shitty kids. They would definitely make you want to not have kids. Yeah, and I'd also be like, you're giving kids ice cream on the side. Mostly, aren't people just selling weed out of ice cream trucks? I don't know. If you're lucky, if you're in a good neighborhood.

I mean, there's the Van Halen song. You know, it's funny as you grow up, like, I grew up, you know, I was the first generation

of like getting, you know, the Ramones, you know, they, I got to see them live. Actually, it would help build the PAs.

That's how I'd sneak into bars when I was underage. The Ramones, just punk rock and all this stuff. And I rebelled against all this stuff as it kept coming up. You know, then later on the kids were in the Van Halen. I'm like, that's not punk rock. You know, I was an asshole, right? But I was down in Baja with a bunch of buddies,

and they were all surfing. And I'm like the, and I mean, we're in the middle of nowhere, like about five, six hours. Yeah, you know, just, I don't know if you've ever

gone out in Mexico. No. I think it's a little too sketchy now, but there's nothing around there. Any surfers with no shipwreck,

it's a famous surf site and, you know, and we're driving along the side of a cliff and I'm driving this Jeep and we're playing Panama from side of a cliff, and I'm driving this Jeep, and we're playing Panama from Van Halen fucking loud,

and everybody's fucked up except me. I'm the designated. I'm, you know, Joe Sober fucking. But it was finally like, hey, man, I get Van Halen. You finally got it? I got Van Halen. What was the song that pushed you over the edge? It was Panama, that song. It's a great fucking song.

It's just loud, and there's stars, and these guys are screaming. And as I keep speeding, going over gigantic potholes, they're all thinking they're doomed. And I was like, again, it's like I'm good in chaos. I go, now I get Van Halen. Isn't that a funny thing that you do, though, that people do? We all do it, especially when you're young, where if someone doesn't like what you like, you get fucking angry. So angry. What you like is shit.

And you hate them for liking it. Here's an exclusive, because I do tell a lot of yarns. They're all true, but I have a lot of stories. Here's a story I've never told anyone. When I was opening for Nirvana, we were here in L.A., so I don't know which form. I think it was the form. I don't know. And Eddie Van Halen shows up, and he's really fucking hammered, and he wants to jam.

And Kurt is totally flipped out, like, Eddie Van Halen wants to jam. He's like, hide me. So Eddie wants to go up and shred? Yeah, and he's fucking hammered. And I go, dude, give him one of your guitars, because Kurt played left-handed. And I go, it would be great. He won't be able to play it.

And he's like, he would figure it out. I was like, this would be so funny. But it was really weird. He probably would. We had David Lee Roth come in here. He couldn't be fucking cooler. I met him one night at the comedy store. He was the greatest guy.

Just hanging out. No pretense. Just him and a buddy. In the 80s, they were going to, because Purple Rain made money, and they were going to give him money. And it was this insane script. Oh, a movie? Yeah, yeah. I went in and read for him.

Why did they never do that? He's so charismatic. Why did they never give him a movie? That's what. I went in and read for him. Why did they never do that? He's so charismatic. Why did they never give him a movie? That's what... He's probably too busy fucking everything. But there could be a movie there. You know, that's the thing. It's like, look at him.

You know, maybe... You know what he's doing now? What? He lives in Japan, okay? He lives in an apartment with his dog, and he practices sword fighting all day. I'm not kidding. No, I believe it.

Moved to Japan by himself. He's a fascinating guy. We had him in here. First of all, the fucking guy wears overalls everywhere he goes. Okay? He's comfortable with his nipples? I don't know. He just likes wearing overalls.

He just enjoys them. Don't they bug your nipples? I haven't worn them in a long time. I'd have to cut back here. Coveralls or overalls? Overalls. You know, where they have the little things like the farmers wear. Yeah, yeah.

Where they clip up here. See, look. He's wearing overalls. See that? Oh, he's got a shirt on. Yeah yeah i thought he wasn't wearing a shirt no look overalls it's hilarious and and and and so he he does his sword and and he practices sword fighting and does and not to be so crass but does he is he set i mean financially yeah i'm sure he's got god well you never know how much fucking money David Lee Roth must have? David Lee Roth

is first of all he's very smart and I think he's also a savvy guy I do not see him over indulging to the point of something like that

he likes living small he shows up here by himself he's one of the biggest rock stars of all time drives himself here shows up by himself hey guys

no pretense comes in sit down how's everybody but a lot of a lot of the the folks that have longevity do that yeah you know i mean like like i i haven't seen him in a long time but there was a period where i spent some time around i sound like i'm just name dropping all my stories but but it would be bowie and he would do that you know now you do You said Bowie, now you do. Now you sound like it.

Well, when I started talking, you know, I know, I know. No, no, I'm just kidding. It is. It's true. If you know David Bowie, it's a true story. You've always, if you're in show business, these are the folks that you become friends with. Not all of them, but some of your stories.

I mean, you just told me a David Lee Roth story. Yeah. But you also have a show. Maybe that. Well, he came in to promote his show. He has a podcast. From Japan? He has his own podcast.

Yeah, he does it from Japan. It's fucking great. It's great. It's fun. He gets up, does his podcast. He does a video podcast. I think. And then he.

Find out what the address is. I – find out what the address is. I don't know what the address is. And then he sword fights. I think he calls it Dave TV or something like that. Now, I remember he also – I heard this. I don't know if this is true, but I heard that – and you would know this maybe because of martial arts. He would sweep the stage after the show. Really?

I heard that. I don't know if that's true. I didn't ask him, but I could see him doing something like that. Just as a discipline. Yeah. I could see him doing something like that. Just as a discipline. Yeah. I could see him doing something. He's a weird guy. The Roth Show.

That's what he calls it. I remember we were, again, with Nirvana, but this is another funny story. One of the crew guys had worked with the Nuge, had worked with Ted Nuge. And Kurt enjoyed hearing this story because Nugent would hit the stage with an air ramp. He'd hit this air ramp like a stuntman and he would shoot him over the amp. But I guess like...

So he'd come flying in with the guitar and just go shooting over and land. Land on what? He would hit the stage. How far would he fall? From the top of a stack of marshals. So he shot him off like a cannon. But apparently hit the stage. How far would he fall? From the top of a stack of Marshalls. Holy shit. So it shot him off like a cannon.

So, but apparently, Kurt enjoyed it because I witnessed this hearing the story about when he, he clipped the top of the speakers with like the,

his boot heels and just ate shit and landed on his guitar. Oh. Ka-bong. Well, his knees are all fucked up. Wow.

He hobbles really bad now. I think he just had some serious knee operations. It could be that air ramp. Jesus, I'd imagine. Aren't you glad we don't have to go out that way? Flying over the fucking top of Trump with probably cowboy boots on or something stupid, right? But, you know, every audience, you know, isn't red hot, you know? I mean, there's got to be times where you go over the amp and the crowd's like,

huh? They're in a beer line. I'm trying to get him to do the podcast. He's going to be at the Canyon Club in July. Why wouldn't he? I don't know. I want to get him. I shot an animal for him just to be friends. I went deer hunting just so I could

call him my friend. No, that's not why I did it. But I really would like to get him in. He's a fascinating character. Of course he is. And his hunting show, I watch his hunting show. It's called Spirit of the Wild. And is it the hunting, does he go around the world or is it his backyard?

The second part. Yeah. Now see, when the Kimmel show was in Detroit, I pitched an idea that nobody bit. And the idea was we were going to get the Nuge, right? We're going to get Ted on. And then we're going to take, like, Guillermo and Uncle Frank and maybe someone else. Go bow hunting. No.

No. I was going to give them a paint gun and then make them, you know, the hardest prey, you know. I mean, and send them out in the streets and have Ted Nugent on Uncle Frank. That's funny. And it was great because it was a snowstorm. It was so fun. That would have been really funny. These guys running away from Nuge while he hits them with paintballs.

And it was in Detroit in the snow? Yeah, yeah. That would have been hilarious. I was in Detroit this weekend doing stand-up. And then I went to Dallas and showed Willow Creek down there at a small festival called the Oak Cliff Festival. It was fun. Nugent has this hunting show, and he sets food out,

and then he climbs in a tree with a bow and arrow and just fucks these deer up. Every day he's fucking up a new deer that's going to eat his food. He eats them, and then he gives the food away. Does he have to abide by Michigan law? He's not in Michigan anymore. He's in Texas. I'm kind of a fanboy.

I'm kind of a Ted Nugent fanboy. So in Texas, can he just shoot? You know what I'm saying? If he owns an animal, can he kill it without having to abide by? Texas is one of the best places for that for what they call high fence operations but it depends on the animal and there's a lot of animals that they keep in those uh those high fence places that are not uh they're not native they're like uh african animals like so so they don't have or a season no because they're from

other they shoot them whenever they want to so you could shoot them every day if you chose. So they come from another country. Yep. They go, this is pretty nice. I'm getting three squares. Holy shit, is that Ted Nugent? Mom! This is fucking-

Mom! Flying stick right through my heart. My older brother, he's no longer with us, but he was a poacher. I mean, that's why he just shot things all year long. Well, that's really common in a lot of places. Yeah. In the Pacific Northwest, they were telling us how to poach. When we were up there hunting for Bigfoot, there was a woman that was a woman who worked at this store.

She was like, well, she goes, when we see elk, we just shoot them with a bow and arrow and nobody could hear it. Yeah. Well, my brother had everything figured out. He had a – I brought Tony V out to his house once. And I'd given him some money to buy – to insulate his home. And I wanted to buy some new windows. And I wanted to make sure he used the money. So I went to visit my brother basically.

And Tony, we get out of the car and there's just corn like psycho corn it's just growing up everywhere and Tony's like what's going on with the corn because there's no rows and my brother's like oh that's for the deer you know Bob it's for the deer and Tony's like oh you help them through the winter

he's like I want to blast them I go up to the top store the window in the bathroom You help him through the winter? He's like, I want to blast him. I go up to the top store, the window in the bathroom, and it's shattered. It's a fucking sniper's perch. Yeah. I go, what happened to the bathroom window? He goes, oh, recoil. My brother.

He's shooting out the window. On the toilet. He's shooting deer from the toilet. By the way, there's some guys who are going, wow, that guy had it had it all he had it all all he's missing is a q-tip in his ear while he's taking his shit and shooting a deer he'd be like uh you know and they want to go hunt and meet me in the kitchen so oh we're leaving tony v goes hey what is that over there what is that like a woodchuck and my brother goes yeah and then we're not even around the corner, and we're like, blam. And Tony goes, I just figured that woodchuck.

I go, yeah, you dropped a dime on that woodchuck. Why would he shoot a woodchuck? Because he just shot animals. He just, he went, his friends were telling me, you know, his stories were amazing. You know, stories I hadn't heard. Oh, yeah, oh yeah your brother you know because there's a swan pond i was like don't tell me he killed swans he was no no no but there was a some big uh i don't know what was in their trout or something so so they had taken an acid and they were uh climbed over the swan pond and were fishing and shooting he would go dynamite fishing that's

why like my life is like you know i had back surgery less than a month and a half ago it was my birthday at the end of may and i get a ladder out and the old nine's like what are you doing i go well i think it'd be fun to jump into the pool from the ladder because because and she's like that is a horrible idea jesus christ that I just see you slipping, the thing coming down, and the ladder. All right. Well, I'll give you an idea. I was sitting at home, and because of the back surgery. What did you get done to your back?

I had some disc and bone spurs, and I feel great. What'd they do? They took a little bit of my disc away and took out the bone spurs. But I had other problems before. I had nerves that were smashed into two vertebraes that were making it so my leg just, I couldn't walk. I have back issues. Oh, really? I have a disc, a bulging disc.

Oh, well, I have a dude when you want to cowboy up. So they cut a piece of the disc away? Yeah. And it doesn't hurt? The surgery heals up, and now my leg, and I don't have back pain. I lost 20 pounds as soon as – because I have my life back. That's amazing. But so I said that I've been sober since I was 19.

But here's – I mean, yeah, 19. But the thing is with the back surgery, I had a break. They put me on Dilaudid. Holla. Yeah. So have you on Dilaudid. Holla. Yeah. So have you had Dilaudid? No, but it's in cowboy movies. Yeah, it's morphine.

So it's the shit that killed Lenny Bruce. Really? Yeah. So it's awesome, by the way. It was the best thing ever. I was trying to explain it. I was like, I said it's not, because people describe heroin as coming, as like that. And it's like, no, Dilaudid is like right after that and before regret.

You know what I mean? It's before shame and regret. It's that five-second window, and it lasts all day. Where would you put NyQuil like original nyquil the real shit compared to the lotted yeah like a like a two whoa yeah i'm telling you man it was like it was you know and i'm glad i i went through this back surgery and and when it was over got off the dope yeah that's what i was gonna ask you. Were you nervous about that? I was terrified. Terrified. And I gave it to the O-9. Why did you need it?

Because of the pain. I mean, the pain was so bad. Post-surgery pain? Pre and post. But the problem was is that I have no sense of reality. Like, I don't know the difference between an ingrown toenail and a ruptured disc. I really don't. Like, it's just pain the difference between an ingrown toenail and a ruptured disc. I really don't. Like, it's just pain.

You know what I mean? So I was in so much pain. And it was so. But here's at one point. Already I have a problem with good ideas and bad ideas. So my friends are over the house. And I say to my wife, I go, wouldn't it be funny if I shot a hole in the roof with a.22? She goes, it wouldn't be funny at all.

I go, yeah, it'd scare the cats. This is why you're on Dilaudid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a gun. Yeah, well, at least. Hunter Thompson Jr. over here. At least I ran it by her. Wow, thank God she's there for you.

She's like, no, that wouldn't. She's your filter. Yeah. It's amazing you need someone to tell you like, no, that wouldn't be. She's your filter. Yeah. It's amazing you need someone to tell you that. Well, that was the lot. But I will say, it's always, and I pass this down to my daughter, it's always the funny story. That outweighs everything else.

Like, later on, it's the funny story. Well, that's also what's gotten you, I mean, as a comic, that's sort of what gets you like your life your career part of your livelihood is having these stories it's a it's a valuable asset well like i love that my daughter has it oh that's well that's cool she loves her daddy she went to a wedding she says i didn't know anybody i go well what did you do? She said, during the first song, I ran out and humped the bride. People are like, who the fuck is that broad? She really did that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.

She always knows. It's the story. She's got the photos looked at. Now, when you took this Dilaudid shit, you were 19, you quit doing everything. Yeah. And then, is it 19 to 50? and then there's nothing in between them? Well, I had a back surgery before, so that was funny because at one point, like I said, I put it in the hands of someone else. I give it to my wife.

But do you give yourself a green light to do shit like that because you're in pain? I had to talk to other folks and say look man and that had to explain this is what this is for but i've uh i've had surgery before knee surgery and i just dealt with the pain because i don't like like it right i don't like i don't like all that stuff all that stuff actually has a really weird reaction to me and i become a big asshole oh that's interesting i become really nasty nasty. Does it make you cranky? I'm just really an asshole. I mean, I'm not like punching my wife, but I'm just short and I just tell her what to do.

And so this was what worked. And, you know, I was on this the first time and she... Did you ever try to do it without it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. It was too painful yeah definitely and they're going this is crazy you know and they actually just slammed morphine into my back because they're going this is crazy that you're walking around you know and then i thought well okay i can handle it i'm sorry you know what i did i just vomited immediately. That's funny. But I was sitting there one day, and this is the first time, and I'm watching Lifetime, and I'm just sobbing.

And my wife comes in, and she goes, you don't get any more pain medicine starting now. I married a man. Oh, that's funny. I did not marry a man. That cries during Mommy May I Sleep With Danger starring Tori Spelling

or whatever I was watching on Lifetime. Lifetime movies made you cry. Yeah, she's like Remind me. She's like, that's it. Remind me not to take

that stuff ever. I don't want to cry and I want to watch Lifetime movies. I don't want either one of those things. I was doing Q&As for the movie on Dilaudid. Wow. When I went to the Boston Film Festival.

Did you tell the people that you were on it? Yeah, I just said, I'm really high. Because what else was I going to do? Now, was it painful just to sit down, just to sit up straight? Did you feel it in your back? It got to the point where sitting was a pain and walking was a pain. Lower back? Yeah. And it affected my life to the point where, I don't know if you're this way, but you go, you measure things. If I go to the store, that's going to hurt

a lot. Can I go, you know what I mean? It started affecting what you do to the point where, you know, I didn't have, I was 50 or in my late forties and thinking like a I was 50 or in my late 40s and thinking like a senior citizen. Whoa. And now I'm back. That's amazing. Yeah, back surgery is scary shit. Back surgery is a spooky one for people.

Well, I have a great doctor, but it sounds like are you worried about the controls surrendering it? Is that it? I mean, I went to a bunch of doctors. Oh, really? Yeah, I've had nose surgery, back surgery. I mean, knee surgery twice. Three times. What happened to your knee?

I tore my ACL in both knees. I had them reconstructed. And what were you doing? The first one was kickboxing. The second one was jujitsu. And what happens? Take me through that. Like, when it happens, you're like... Well, the first one, do you think you broke your leg? I knew something was really bad.

I knew something was really wrong. Like it popped. It was a terrible tear, terrible pain. The first one hurt a lot more. The second one didn't even hurt. It was really weird. I was in what's called a half guard. So someone's legs are wrapped around your legs.

And he extended his legs and my leg went sideways and just went snap like a carrot. It was really weird. It was like this pop noise. And then I didn't even know the ACL was gone until I was walking. I think it was in my office. I was moving something and my leg just gave out on me. That's really weird. And I already had my left done.

So I knew that my right was probably fucked. And the first one, was that during a match? No, it was training. Both of them were during training. Okay. And how does the other guy feel? He's like... Yeah, it wasn't his fault.

No, but I mean, does he feel weird? Oh, yeah, he felt bad. He felt terrible. The guy, Wills, the guy it happened to the second time, was a friend of mine. He's a really nice guy. And he feels terrible. Yeah,, Will's, the guy it happened to the second time, was a friend of mine. He's a really nice guy. And he feels terrible. Yeah, when you train, I've had a guy's leg explode on me a couple

of times. Yeah. Two different times that I can remember. One time the guy blamed me, but that was ridiculous. It was just, it's just in the middle scrambling. Like sometimes your knee just gives out. And then the other, and one time a guy didn't tap in time, and his knee just exploded. It just went, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And then the other, and one time a guy didn't tap in time and his knee just exploded.

It just went pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. But it was like, it was a weird situation. It was like he didn't really have to tap. Like sometimes like you can get out of things and you're real close and then all of a sudden in the middle of like trying to get out of it,

like he was pretty close to getting out of it, his knee just gave out. Got you. It was a weird sort of a thing and it made this horrible loud sound. Now that sounds to me, you're thinking that I'm crazy because I'm like, hey, I'm going to jump off the ladder. I was going to get someone to steady it.

Well, it can be dangerous. Like I said, I've had my nose opened up and fixed. It's a little insane, but it's also very intoxicating. It's fun. It's a very exciting game. How about now you don't do it? Sure I do. Wow.

Yeah. Well, the only thing that's stopping me right now is I have this little disc issue. Yeah. But the disc is getting a lot better. It's pretty close. You've got to get it taken care of. No, it's not like... It was only a few millimeters, the bulge. Oh, okay.

So it was something with spinal decompression and a bunch of different things. I actually saw mine on the MRI, and it was like a comedic. It looked like a bicycle tire. It was a bloop. Oh, wow. It was that big. Do you remember how many millimeters it poked at? I mean, they put on the MRI, and the two doctors go, oh, ooh.

They were like, oh. Yeah, it was like, okay. Yeah. Mine is actually asymptomatic right now. It's just stiff, and it's just getting better. These are the things. This is the asymptomatic right now. It's just stiff and it's just getting better. These are the things. This is the problem. The problem?

The problem is by the time you figure out how to do it, what makes you happy, the wheels start falling off. You were just telling me you might need to get glasses. I mean it's – Yeah, no. I definitely should get reading glasses. Well, I have actually reading glasses. Like when I look at things, like anything that close is kind of blurry. Like right there,

that's blurry. But like my computer's fine. Like I can read everything on the computer. I don't need it. It's things that are close. It's like my phone sometimes, like sometimes when I wake up,

I can't read a number. I'm like, how the fuck, like if I have to actually dial it on my home phone, I'm just looking like, what the fuck is that? It's weird.

Then I have to go like that and then I see it. It's the cruel joke of time. Yeah, time is a motherfucker. You know, I hate to be so cliche, but as you get older, like I said, that's who I compete with now. Yeah, well, that's one of the reasons why I think. I'm not like going, wait a second, did the Grim Reaper get a Comedy Central special?

Motherfucker, what do I got to do? Competing, yeah. You do wind up thinking you got to get out more shit before you go. I don't want to be left behind. Conflict is what builds everything. It's what creates everything. It's why anything's interesting. Yeah, conflict or just pure enjoyment of whatever you do and that too.

That's true conflict kind of there is a bunch of things that can move it along right well the cool thing is is if you if you stop making the conflict being other people and you use your own demons as the conflict so then you don't have to create you know you know yeah i can sit there and write a screenplay and and not go down and not go to a terrible place. Yeah. I go, nah, yeah, go back and forth with myself. Hmm. When you create something like like this movie or anything where you write it, do you sometimes like get out of it and go, who the fuck wrote that?

Like it's almost like it comes from somewhere else. Yeah, I I I think that it's almost like this comes from somewhere else. Yeah, I think that it's almost like, this sounds really trippy, but I think a lot of this stuff, well, here you're on stage and you say something that you never said before, and it's not even derivative, it's not something, you know what I mean, your buddies and you or you guys discuss, it's a brand new thought. You kind of feel like it's just there already. It's like this stream, and then you reach up and you grab it.

And the big part of it is trying to – I can't believe I'm not on Dilaudid right now. But the big part of it is getting yourself out of the way so you can just grab that stuff. That's a great way to describe it. Because I'm terrible. I'm a failure. I'm a hack. This has all been done before. Nobody likes me.

Boo-hoo. It's so exhausting. And that stuff's just having a big ego in reverse. It's still a big ego. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're thinking about yourself instead of thinking about what you're doing or going zen and focusing on- Just make stuff.

Yeah, yeah. Just make stuff. It should be a shirt. Make stuff or- Just make stuff. Or the other cliche, which is true, you're, you're feeling bad, you know, why don't you do something good? Yeah, this, did you ever read any of Pressfield's stuff? No.

Like The War of Art? No. He talks about the muse, you know, and he talks about it and treats it like it's kind of an interesting idea because what, you know, people think of the muse, you know, that like the idea is that there's something that gives you these ideas or something that you pay tribute to and then it gives you ideas. Right. He actually sort of actively courts it. Like he actively like says, like, you know, I'm going to respect the muse. I'm going to show up at work every day, you know, and I'm going to put in the hours,

and when I put in the hours, the muse will come. And, like, he sort of, his philosophy on it is very enlightening, and it's also very, it's inspiring because it makes you want to write. It makes you want to create. It makes you want to, like, that attitude is a very beneficial attitude to have. It's sort of spiritual and mumbo-jumbo of crazy no but it's not i say the nicest compliment i've ever received uh as this friend of mine who who uh tom link i think and he he he he saw a movie of mine and he and he said i want to go right oh yeah that's great and i was like oh that's nice

i always feel that way and the cynical me is like, what, he thought he could do better? No. A dirty prick. Why is he going to know? No, I was like, that was the nicest thing anyone's ever said, I think, after a movie. Yeah, that is one of the coolest things about other artists. I don't know. That they inspire you to create more of it.

I truly don't know when I'm making these movies what they're about. Later on, I'll say, oh, that's this character or that's this person in my life and I have no idea

until after they're done and I'm watching them. Like, my wife was like, you didn't get that this is just prettier people playing you and me

in this movie? I was like, I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah, it is. Well, listen, man,

your movie's fucking badass and I really wish you all the best, it is. Well, listen, man, your movie's fucking badass. I really wish you all the best in the world. I will cherish these Bigfoot socks for the rest of my life. And the posters are really rad. My friend Alex party made them. We'll get one framed and we'll put it up on the Hall of Fame here. Please do. It's called Willow Creek.

If anybody wants to see it, what will be the availability? It's still in some festivals, and as soon as I get a distribution of some level, I'd love to come back. Probably I'd like to come back before then. Fuck yeah. Dude, anytime. And please, if there's anybody out there that has anything to do with the movie business, just check this out.

It's fucking great. You're gonna enjoy the shit out of it. And it's, it's, we need fun movies. It's a fun movie. Yeah. It's exciting. Thanks. Thanks. I'm not going to say any more about it.

Great. And you don't either, man. Yeah, I know. It's one of those movies where you can't say, oh, I love that scene. You can't even say it. Enjoy the shit out of it, ladies and gentlemen. It's called Willow Creek, and we'll keep you updated as far as whatever Bob gets, whatever distribution. We'll tweet it.

We'll put it out there for you. I know people are going to want to check this out. And if people want to get in touch with you or see any of your shit, do you have a website? No, Grandpa's on Instagram. That's about it. What's the Instagram? It's just BobcatGolthwaite, all one word.

It's hard to spell, but, you know. You can figure it out, folks. So I'm on Instagram, and I'm pretty close to pulling the trigger on Twitter maybe. Do it, please. Come on, man. Do it. Okay. We'll pump you up.

We'll have a contest to see how many Twitter followers we can get you in a day. You have like a million? Yeah. Holy crap. I think it's a little more than that. You're like, hey, man, who's in the numbers? It's over a million, okay? I don't know what it is now.

Listen, Bob Scratch. I don't know what it is. I don't know. All I know is I'm pretty close to 9,000 Instagram. Whatever. 9,000. 9,000 people looking at pictures of my cats. Yeah, there's a lot of pictures of my cat, Squeaky Fromm, in my underpants.

We'll talk about that in the next episode. Your cat is named Squeaky Fromm? Yeah. I had a dog named Squeaky Fromm. Did you really? Yes. Yes. Girl?

Yeah. Did you redhead? No. She was a female pit bull. Well, because she was a female pit bull. Well, because she was red, and I found her wandering the streets of Hollywood just like Manson. Well, my dog killed two dogs. That's a pretty badass dog. She's kind of a crazy dog.

She killed a boy dog. She's not really. She's not around anymore. Yeah, she's not really squeaky from then. We had to take her out of the loop. She was awesome, though. She loved me. Anyway.

Squeaky from is my best friend. I used to love squeaky Fromm my dog too so it's all good she's had a troubled childhood I got her after I got her a little too late I got her when she was already a year old

and already crazy that cat I actually found well we'll wrap it up we'll talk about my cats the next time I got a lot I could go on for hours Bobcat Goldthwait

ladies and gentlemen I know he has to pee so we're gonna wrap this motherfucker up nice and tidy. He's going to pee. You can see me on Comics Unleashed with Byron Allen. Don't do it. Thanks to Stamps.com.

Use the code word JRE and save yourself some money. Thanks to Ting. Go to rogan.ting.com to save yourself some cash as well. Something's wrong with my microsoft word what the fuck is happening here um and thanks to who else was on this one stamps.com oh legal zoom yeah legal zoom bitches that's the newest one uh legal zoom is our newest sponsor and if you go to If you go to LegalZoom.com and use the code word JRE, you'll save yourself some money. No, it's Rogan.

That's it. Yeah. LegalZoom. To get a special discount from listening to the podcast, enter the code name Rogan in the referral box or check out for more savings. Thanks to Onnit.com as well. Go to O-N-N-I-T and use the code name Rogan. We'll be back tomorrow with my pal Aubrey Marcus. And that'll be it for the week because I've got to go out squatching. I'm not done.

I'm still looking for a lot of crazy shit going on this week. I know I'm going in the fall. Are you really? Yeah. How dare you. Bobcat Goldthwait, thank you. We'll see you guys. We love you.

Big kiss. Bye. Woo. Bobcat Goldthwait. Thank you. We'll see you guys. We love you. Big kiss. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.

Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.

Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.