The Joe Rogan Experience - #379 - Matt Farah, Tod Mesirow

Episode Date: July 30, 2013

Matt Farah is an automotive journalist whose work can be found on TheSmokingTire.com, and also on http://www.youtube.com/drive  Tod Mesirow is the executive producer for "Joe Rogan Questions Everything" on SyFy, and previously worked on shows such as "Monster Garage" and "Overhaulin'".

We have two different parts of the podcast, like where Sirius picks it up. Sorry. It's confusing. No, that makes sense. It's a good way to do it. If this thing doesn't kick in, that means we don't. It's not like officially started. I mean, we have abandoned that tactic at least a half a dozen times in the past.

I try to have some sort of semblance of... Control? That too, yeah, for sure. But it's more like pageantry. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So stupid. I know it's stupid. No But it's more like Like pageantry Oh yeah Yeah Yeah So stupid

I know it's stupid No It's not stupid It's a showbiz tradition That's what makes That's what separates The pros from the pros That and this arm

This arm right here Is all it takes Yeah you gotta have one of them You want the curtains to part Yeah Right I've had like those Table mounted ones

We have the table mounted ones I like the hole in the table Compared to this ghetto The hole in the table is the shit. The hole in the table is the move. I feel like you're a goddamn professional. Yeah. Yeah.

Once you start drilling 100-year-old wood, you know what I'm saying? Isn't that the sea clamp on the side, like the college lamp, the architect lamp with the sea clamp? No, there's a hole in this table. There's a hole in this table. It's perfect. Yes, we had it set up. That's Todd Messero who is

the executive producer of my new TV show which is Joe Rogan questions everything and this is Matt Farah Matt Farah is if you are a fan of cars and you fan of cool car videos you might already know you might know him from Drive or the smoking tire calm I enjoy your videos, man. I really do. They're really fun. The first one I saw was you. You were in a Ferrari 458 in New Jersey or something like that.

Was I the Russian guy in the trunk? I don't remember. I had a Russian guy in the trunk of a Ferrari to demonstrate how big a trunk it had. Smuggling immigrants. What I liked about it. It's better than golf clubs. You were just like a fun dude who was checking out badass cars

and was being yourself. Whereas like, next up, the new Ford Fairlane. Amazing dual clutch transmission. There's like this fake goofy voice that so many dudes had in those car videos.

Seriousness. They ruined cars. Like watching car videos to me because I'd be like, you stuffy motherfucker. Let's grab this bull by the horns and see if we can hang on. It'd be better off

just letting you look at the car. But I think all credit due to the original Top Gear, right? They're the guys who, like, cracked it open. Pretty much. Pretty much, like, for a sense of humor.

And, yeah, Jeremy Clarkson. Can we talk about this now, Todd? Oh, yeah. So Todd worked on the reboot of the U.S. Clarkson. Can we talk about this now, Todd? Oh, yeah. So Todd worked on the reboot of the U.S. Top Gear. This is where Matt and I met. With Adam Carollo as the Jeremy Clarkson character and Tanner Faust. And Todd found me and called me to audition for that, the U.S. Top Gear. And I didn't make it.

You made it to the final round. Did I? That's nice. You would have been good. I might have been good. As history has proven, because look at you. You made it to the final round. Did I? That's nice. You would have been good. I might have been good. As history has proven, because look at you. You had a speed show. The problem is Top Gear, it tends to be a little scripted.

I don't do scripted stuff. That's why you were spying. Because I just talk. You guys are kind of alike that way. Yeah. Well, Adam Farrar was a good buddy of mine from back in New York. He's fucking great, isn't he? He's a sweetie pie.

I love that dude. He's a great great guy i've been friends with him forever we're pool playing buddies i wish they let him talk a little more on that show well yeah you know what it's like they're so the things are they're funny when they like like he had a really funny one with a corvette zr1 who's like defending america yeah and the stupidity of a corvette zr1 and tanner had this beautiful ferrari right now and it was it was funny. Like, Ferrara, that was like, you could tell Ferrara had a saying that.

Yeah. His Queen's Italian is on lockdown. Yeah, it's on lockdown. You've got that market fully covered. But it's like, I can't help, but when I see them standing up, just like Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Harris, is that what his name is? Hammond. Hammond.

Richard Hammond and the other dude. What's the other dude? Richard Hammond. Mr. Slow. name is? Hammond. Hammond. Richard Hammond and the other dude. What's the other dude? Richard Hammond. Mr. Slow. James May. James May. Those guys, when I see them standing up, that's like they've been doing that forever. That's their shit.

You can see that age over the series. Yeah, it's weird. It's really well, yeah. But when you see Adam and Tanner doing this, it's like you guys are just doing what they did. Right. You don't have to do what they did. Yeah. You don't even have to call it Top Gear.

Just do a good car show. I kind of... They sell the brand. That's how the television industry worked. It's a hit show. It'll be a hit show here. But they've managed to take three really entertaining guys who know a lot about cars and make them kind of boring.

That's fucked up. The best part about Drive is it lets people be themselves. So you have distinct characters who are generally the they're the same if you meet them in real life. And I knew it when Todd sent me the final cut of the US Top Gear that had Adam in it. Adam Carolla in it.

We call that the lost episode. I watched it and I go holy fuck, this is a very good Top Gear cover band. And it's fucking so weird. I couldn't watch it because it was too strange.

That Tanner Faust guy is really good. He's a really good driver, first of all. He can drive the motherfucker. And he's intense. He's very engaging. He did a thing on the Corvette Z06 and it was racing against a motorcycle, and it was fucking badass.

Was that the thing down on the docks? Yes. That was awesome. Dude, they had these fucking crates, these cargo crates set up, and they essentially put this obstacle course together. And he's racing a motorcycle around this obstacle course, and he's going sideways around corners and catching it perfect and just going clean into these lines with his fucking Corvette Z06. He did a viral video after like – Ten block. Yeah.

I mean, after Gymkhana came out, Tanner wanted some of that action, too. So he did the Mulholland Drive street drift video. Remember that video? Yes. He had his Scion Formula drift car and went up the snake on Mulholland. Yeah. But he made a very big deal out of doing it in one take and not having any tire marks be there to show multiple takes. Oh, my God.

So I was there when he did it, and he drifted the entire snake once. And it was like, oh, my God. He is crazy. Oh, my God. He's nuts. And for people who don't know what that means you're like what is drifting the snake means when when someone has a very powerful sports car you can manipulate the way the car steers with the throttle but it requires a very delicate touch you have to really know what you're doing and to go up a crazy path windy road like a road

called the snake imagine just imagine you know did ryan film that was ryan there from ryan was there filming that and i filmed the behind the scenes they spent a lot of money and we spent no money and we got half the views one of my favorite videos of all time i don't know if you've ever seen it is a gt3 on a mountain road jamie see if you could pull that up gt3 on a mountain road. Jamie, see if you can pull that up. GT3 on a mountain road. Is this the Jeff Swart video? I don't know who this bad motherfucker is, but this guy is taking a GT3 on a mountain road,

and this motherfucker's going sideways around corners. There's, like, ledges. Was it Pikes Peak or something? I don't know where it was. It just says GT3 on a mountain road. I feel like it was somewhere in Europe. But Homeboy was flying up this mountain road. And you're just

shitting your pants, sweating while you're watching it. He's going sideways. And you're with him while he's doing it. Yeah, look at this cat! This motherfucker can drive, dude. This guy's going for it, too. That's not Pike's Peak. I don't know where he's going. Wait, wait, wait. Is this

Chris Harris? I don't think it is. Okay. I don't think this one's Chris Harris, but Chris Harris has many of these. That looks like Europe based on the plates. I get in cars with a lot of people. He really fucking scares me. Really? He was going what I would consider.

Check this cat out. That's nice. Look at this motherfucker. Woo! Feet from a brick wall He's sliding sideways Hitting the gas On the turn

I'll be honest That looked a lot like Chris Harris for a second It might actually be him It could be him That's something he would do He was going What I would consider

Fucking race pace On a Welsh back road You know And I'm here It's right hand drive Because we're in Wales So I'm in the Where the driver

Would normally be. And hearing the reeds against the mirror as we're going 100 down a one-lane road, blind corners, it's crazy. Have you seen the video of him testing out the new GT3? Yes. Yeah, pull that up, Jamie. Not a great— Chris Harris 991 GT3. This is what I did.

Come on your show and talk about Chris Harris. Listen, we're talking about life. We're talking about life. We've got hours. Don't worry about that. You got my attention all night. Thanks. Thank you.

Thank you, man. Thanks, man. Triple fisted. Those videos, like guys like Chris Harris, guys like you, those videos didn't exist just a few years ago. And they've made like, what's really fun is that like, I would like to sit down with a Chris Harris. I'd like to hang out with that dude i'd like to hang out with you you know i'd like like these are people that like it's not like

a stuffy like stiff presenter right it's like they're they're being honest about what these fucking things we have like a like a childlike appreciation for cars you know what i mean it's almost like a toy it is apparent to me chris is like a child he's like half my fucking size and Tanner looks like a child even though he's 40 I mean Tanner Faust is the youngest looking 40 year have you been in a car with him with Tanner yes it is you just know you're sitting in the seat and you and he the funny thing is I love when people try and scare the shit out of you like I was in a powerboat doing 90 I was in the back seat and they're looking back like they're waiting for me to puke and because they're having fun.

They're trying to fuck with me. I'm not really a fan of that. But Tanner, I never had a moment of fear because Tanner just has this touch. And you know you're sitting in the car. Everything's going to be fine. Can I tell you my favorite Tanner Fowl story? It's not very long, but I promise you'll like it. Yeah, please.

I got him in a lot of trouble, but I figure I can only get him in trouble for this story once so i can tell it again so there was a thing called the octane academy in detroit where they had a bunch of media come out and do four different driving disciplines with different pros okay so the stunt driving section was with tanner on a wet skid pad in a ford focus okay the night before it was vaughn Gittin's birthday. And Vaughn Gittin's a Formula Drift driver, and he was there, too. And Ken Block was there, and Brian Deegan, another Ford driver, was there. And I know those guys. I was like, I'm getting you fucked up tonight.

And I got Tanner blackout drunk on whiskey that night. And the next day, he was so hungover. And Todd could tell you tanner's a terrible passenger amazing driver terrible passenger and so he was riding shotgun with people who for the most part were not very good drivers learning how to do 360s on a wet skid pad like handbrake turns then after a full night of drinking whiskey with me he was the most he must hate you for that oh man and then i published a picture of him drinking whiskey with me. He was the most miserable human. He must hate you for that. Oh, man.

And then I published a picture of him drunk and giving the finger on Facebook, and he got in a lot of trouble for that. I'll bet he did. So sorry, Tanner, publicly. Fuck. It never ends, the fun with cars. No. Yeah, there's a video of Tanner test driving a Porsche GT2 RS, that crazy fucking new one, that 997.

Yeah, the only new Porsche that really wants you dead. It's so scary, that thing. And he's going sideways around corners with it in downtown LA. They cordoned off parts of downtown LA to film. I don't know how they did that. Oh, yeah, the street drifting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw that. That'd be fun to do. Just go crazy downtown. That would be terrifying. I don't know how they did that. Oh, yeah, the street drifting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw that.

That'd be fun to do. Just go crazy down. That would be terrifying. I don't know how to fucking drive like that. If I found myself going sideways, I'd be shitting my pants. Oh, dude, I was at Willow Springs one day, and Jason Statham shows up in a GT2. No way. I love Jason Statham.

I was fucking psyched. And he was the nicest guy in the world. And he smelled exactly like you'd expect Jason Statham to smell. You smelled him? You got close enough to smell him? Yeah, yeah. And like, I could just, you could smell him. Like a man? Pheromone or like a real smell?

He smells like he could be ravaging a vagina within five seconds of going, oh no. I met that. I didn't get that impression no i met him seemed like a really nice guy i didn't think he was gonna get me pregnant so he has a g and he's never been on a racetrack before oh no has like 200 miles on it oh no so he's like all right anybody got a helmet and i was like uh here you go, man. I gave him my helmet. Oh, no.

And he went out on the track on Streets of Willow. And on turn one, exited the track at such an extraordinary rate of speed. Oh, my God. Backward. First turn. Oh, my God. He didn't make it one corner. He's a poor guy.

Yeah, man. If you've never driven something like that before, you don't want to stop on the gas. Yeah, you don't want to just hit it. Right, exactly. Those are really tricky, too. GT2 is a turbo, for folks who are not up on the Porsche terminology. And with turbo, even though they've kind of got it licked, there's something called turbo lag. They've kind of got it licked.

But not totally. There's still a little flexibility like the way the power gets delivered and the tires break away so easy yeah so you're dealing with this weird out of touch feeling for how much power gets to the engine whereas what people really like is a naturally aspirated engine because you you excel you feel it you feel like there's no instant throttle the feedback is appropriate but that gt2 is yeah yeah, please, super stupid powerful, and it's a turbo, and it's two-wheel drive. It's not four-wheel drive. So it's just a recipe for chaos.

100% disaster. And Porsche horsepower is a little bit different from other horsepower. Like, for instance, a 520-horsepower Porsche Turbo is way faster than a 660 horsepower Shelby Mustang. Yeah, what's a different thing? And like, for instance, I ran a... Because of weight and where the engine is? Yeah, and I ran a Corvette ZR1 at the Mojave Mile, and I ran a 176 in the standing mile. So zero to 176 miles an hour in one mile.

A Porsche Turbo out of the box does 184, which is a big difference for a car that has 120 less horsepower. So these things are stupid, stupid fast, and if you don't know what you're doing, you're probably going to die. Yeah. You have a stupid fast Porsche. What's up with your car? I have a GT3 RS, a Shark Works car, yeah.

It's a stroker motor, right? It's, yeah, 502 horsepower. They take it to 3.6 and take it to 3.9. And it's probably... This is all, for people who don't know cars,

this is all, they're fucking poking their ears with pencils right now. What the fuck? What kind of podcast did you bring me around? Everybody's smart.

They're drooling. Everybody's drooling. I'm absolutely fascinated by performance cars, like, real performance cars, cars that handle, you know, like I've had muscle cars before and I love them for a different reason. You had that Cuda, I kind of first became a fan of you, A, with the Carlos Mencia thing, which was fucking great. And then when I saw the Sickfish on, was it fucking Rides or some shit? Yeah, it was Rides. Was it Rides? Is that what it was?

Yeah, yeah. That car, I mean, it probably, did it drive good? It looked good. It drove like a rhinoceros on roller skates. Yeah, yeah. Nobody wants, I get so much hate for saying muscle cars drive like ass, but they do. Some of them don't, like, you know, I know, you know about XV Motorsports? Yeah, I know, I know, yeah, yeah.

What do you think about that? Have you driven it? I've driven an XV car. It's very nice. They're very expensive. Yeah. It's like a Singer Porsche. It's crazy expensive.

Exactly. But they're dope. Yeah. Yeah. I know someone who could build you something just as nice for less money. Those are, that kind of style is very appealing to me. But the old style. Yeah.

The old style of like ancient suspension, ancient brakes. You can go fuck yourself. I have no desire. Who needs it? It's like dressing up as a Civil War reenactor. I don't want to wear wool underwear. We've got way better shit to wear. Some dudes want that old steering wheel.

They want those old brakes. They want everything. They want to be in a time machine, essentially. They go to the fucking car show to play 50s sock hop fucking music, and you want to go find that boom box and throw it off a bridge? Yeah, who wants to be old? I don't want to be old. I want the new shit.

I want the shit that works. What is it about folks that really love those numbers matching old cars, though, to the point where they collect the most money? Right. I mean, the most money cars are the low mileage old cars. That's a history thing. It's a hot wheel. It's like a really expensive hot wheel. I think they're stupid. I have an uncle

that bought a 65 Corvette. I think he bought it essentially as an investment. Oh, that's a good investment. If the numbers match, he'll make money. Oh, yeah. It's a convertible. I think he's driven that thing four times in his whole life. Have you seen the prices of recent stuff recently?

It's crazy. Yeah, I have. Some of them, like, for certain numbers matching cars that are difficult to find, like, you see, they're insane. It was the fourth purple on white four-speed car with a 426 Hemi built on a Thursday with rally wheels and green stripes and... Driven by John

Manny Carson to the Christmas car. On the other hand, I didn't want to tell Todd before the podcast because I've bought two cars in the last three weeks. What? That's ridiculous. So one of them is a Chevy Volt, and it's my commuter car. We can debate the merits of electric cars versus how douchey I am in fucking ten minutes. But the other one is more pertinent to the conversation because I bought a 1982 Barn find numbers matching

DeLorean with 2,000 miles on it. I saw your video. It's a DeLorean. For folks who don't know what that is, that's the Back to the Future car. Stainless steel. If you were around when I was a kid, that's

when there was that famous case. What happened? John DeLorean, who created the company, was trying to raise money to keep the company going. And he sold some coke or something? May or may not have slanged a little blow. Slanged someone? It's unknown. I mean, he says.

But he got off, right? Didn't he? Yes. Yeah, he got off. He got off, but the company was done. So he got off, but the company was killed. So there was a company that swept in after they went bankrupt and bought all their assets. And a guy named Steven Wynn bought the assets from this company and opened up shop in Texas.

So he has the entire DeLorean factory's worth of parts. And it's the official restoration place, and they do a couple hundred restorations a year. They have enough parts to build... People love these cars. They have enough parts to build a thousand brand new complete cars. That's how many parts they have for DeLoreans. That's incredible. So they could... They would be the same specs as they were back in the 1980s?

Yeah, dude. For 56 grand, they'll build you a brand new 1981 DeLorean right now. And so I bought... I got this car. Blue plates, original blue plates on it, 2,000 miles. That's big to car dorks, right? The original blue plate, that's a big deal. It's a nerd thing, but they're in such, they're brand new. The car's been in a fucking storage unit for 30 years.

Right, right, right. Who found it? They did. They did. They knew I was looking and they called me. Hey, Matt. And they're doing a restoration, but with new brakes, new HVAC, new electronics. Same engine?

Same engine, but they're hot rodding it up a bit. The stage two upgrade. How many horsepower? 215 horsepower. But the car only weighs 2,700 pounds, so it's roughly an 80s 911 power to weight. So that's my nerd mobile that I just bought. I'm psyched. Wow. They have the doors that, you know, going doors. So I didn't know they were that light.

Yeah. Because it's a stainless steel body over a fiberglass monocoque. That's why. Wow. It's why they're very light. Also why they don't go around corners very much. It's not much of a driving experience evidently. Does it just make you smile when you see it?

Yeah. Because, dude, you know, I used to think. Do you think that everything needs to go a zillion miles an hour? Are you one of those people? No, no, no. Not at all. Not at all. I used to think that.

Now I sit in fucking traffic all day. So I bought a Volt, which I love. That's called wisdom, Matt. Matt, that's wisdom. Yeah, and I bought a DeLorean just for driving slow. Well, there's no need to drive fast. I already got a fast car. Fast cars.

Every now and then. Drive fast every now and again. But just driving cars is fun. Yeah. Remember when you were a kid, the first time you got to drive a car, you're like, holy shit, I'm driving. Yeah. You know, like I can't believe I'm in the street. Like, we should still enjoy it.

Hell, yes. Well, the DeLorean was the car. When I was four, my dad brought me a car magazine, and I was flipping, and I saw the DeLorean with the gullwing doors, and it looked like from the future. And it was like, that was the car that made me think that cars could be something more than what my mom took me to fucking preschool in. It's not A to Z. So that's it.

took me to fucking preschool in. Right. It's not A to Z. So that's it. There's no reason for buying a DeLorean besides it will appreciate in value over time and it's what I want. That's it. And it, to me, represents what they thought the future was going to look like. Yes.

It's like, it's really strange how it missed. You know, like whenever people like look to like design something that's going to be like this is the future car. Right. They had flying cars, but no cell phones. What the fuck? After a while, though, they still look clunky. It's weird.

Like they never totally get it. Have you seen the Dymaxion? Do you know the Dymaxion car? Buckminster Fuller? No, what is that? It's a three-wheeled car. And it's fantastic. That's DYMA.

What is a front wheel? Like a motorcycle? No, the rear wheel steers. Wow. Like a Cessna without wings. Oh, my God. So two front and one rear. Yeah, that's exactly.

It looks like a spaceship fuselage. Yeah. With two wheels in the front, one wheel in the back. And it had all these safety features. Like what? It goes under trucks. I think it had seat belts in the 20s or something. It had power brakes.

There it is. Look at it whipping donuts right there. Oh, my God. That's ridiculous. Tell me that doesn't look like your dream of the future when they made that. That looks like a giant USB port. Like one of those little USB sticks that you stick in your laptop. Look how big the steering wheel is.

Oh, my God. It's amazing. Two feet across. That's amazing. Yeah, because you had all the cables going to the back. This is the guy. He designed the geodesic dome. He was one of those genius engineers back in the day.

The geodesic dome. There's one in the valley that I've seen. Yeah. There's one in Malibu, too. It's up off Latigo Canyon. It's such a weird structure, isn't it? It's a weird structure, but it exists in nature. They found something called Buckminster Fullerene, and it's that weird shape, all the different sides.

Buckminster Fullerene? That's like a naturally occurring chemical? They named these things they found in nature after Buckminster Fuller because it had the same shape as the geodesic dome. Wow, that's crazy. So he came up with it independently? That's amazing. And then they went and found it. And buckyballs, they're called now.

Oh, yeah. I know buckyballs. They're using them to explore superconducting materials and all this other high-end, super geeky tech stuff that I only half understand. I just know the words. Yeah. Those geodesic domes, and when they start finding, one of the weirdest things that I ever saw about plants and the shapes of plants was the Fibonacci sequence.

When they started showing it, I was watching this thing on sunflower seeds. They were showing how sunflowers. The golden mean. Yeah. The Acropolis in Athens. Yeah. All that. Well, for folks who don't, I'm not remotely skilled enough in mathematics to really explain the Fibonacci sequence.

Me neither. You've remotely skilled enough in mathematics to really explain the Fibonacci sequence. Me neither. I think it's essentially 0 and then 1 and 1 and 2 and 2 and 1 is 3. You add the numbers up before. Yeah, you add. I hope that's right. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. Yeah, that's it right there.

That's it. Yeah, so it's 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11. You know what else uses that same golden mean? Aston Martin. Every single one of their cars. If you measure the heights and lengths and widths of certain things all over the car, they use that same rule. Even today.

Like the size of the grill versus how high the nose of the car is off the ground. The window versus the whole way. It makes sense. What an aesthetically beautiful car that is. Those Aston Martin cars are stunning. I love those cars. They're works of art. They're like modern works of art that you drive. Yeah. They really are stunning. I love those cars. They're works of art. Yeah.

They're like modern works of art that you drive. Yeah. They really are. I have an older one. It's awesome. Dane Cook had one though and he said it sucked. He had one.

He was on the podcast and he was talking about it. He said he thought he was fucking James Bond. He thought he was like pew, pew, pew, like pretending like shooting people

out of his car when he was driving. And he goes, it was such a piece of shit. He was like laughing about how it broke down. Really? Oh, I haven't had any issues with mine. It depends on what year and he goes, it was such a piece of shit. He was like laughing about how it broke down. Really? Oh, I haven't had

any issues with mine. It depends on what year. You know, it's like wine. There's good years and bad years of British cars in those days. It's what happens

with hand-built stuff, man. You fucking gotta roll the dice sometimes. Bespoke. It's bespoke. I'm the only auto journalist that doesn't use that fucking word.

Exactly. I had a 996 Turbo, a Porsche 996 Turbo that broke down five times. Catastrophic failures. Really? Like main seal shit? Within three years.

Engine had to be replaced. The clutch linkage disappeared twice. Disappeared? Where I was backing out of a parking spot, just clink of the clink. Like completely loose, no gears, couldn't do shit, had to get towed. Twice. Once the fuel pump blew and once the gas gauge died. 996s are like

the fucking bottomless pit of Porsches. They really are. It was put together Friday afternoon after lunch. You can buy a 996 Carrera

right now for like eight grand. Yeah, it's amazing. It's amazing because they're still a very good car. Eight grand? It's fucking cheap, dude.

It's a very good car. Worthless. But like the 993s which weren't as technologically advanced are like more expensive air cooled man the Porsche people are all about that air cooled shit

they love that why is that because they're traditionalists what is that about I don't know who's worse Porsche people or Ferrari people I think they're equally horrible Ferrari people have more money they're second to BMW people who think they're rich but aren't.

Yeah, if you're driving a Ferrari, you're really balling. If you're driving a Porsche, you probably can't afford it. Somebody gave you a good loan. I always remember that line from Entourage of Kevin Dillon's like, you just lease it. That's how all the assholes in this town drive

911s. It's true. It is. I'm sure. But leasing it, if it works, it's a great deal. You get to drive a sweet fucking car that you can never really afford. Oh, yeah. And just give that shit back after you've beat the shit out of it. It's America. That's what I plan to do with my Volt. I'm going to autocross that shit.

Why not? Hey, off-road with a Volt? We're about to do 500 miles off-road, bro. It's tomorrow. Isn't this a really cool time if you enjoy cars. Because even... There's a bunch of American cars that have caught up. Like these new Camaros.

The Z01. And the SS that's coming out. Not the SS. The Chevy SS. What is the... No, there's a new Camaro that's coming out. It has the Corvette engine. Oh, the Z28. Yes, the Z28. That's it. The Z28 is a race version where it only has one speaker so you can hear the seatbelt. Ding, ding,

ding. That's it. No radio, no bullshit. And it's like 3,000, 3,200 pounds and fucking 500 horsepower naturally aspirated engines. It's going to be good. Carbon fiber brakes, carbon fiber brakes standard. It's going to be just a radical. $60,000. And handle like a motherfucker. That magnetic suspension is crazy. Their value, those cars. That's the best thing they make is the magnetic ride suspension is crazy. I had a ZL1, and I couldn't believe how fucking fast it is.

That's the Z28. Is it like the Audi? No, no, no. It's much more crude. It's a different sort of a thing. But it's also a third of the price. But it's a wicked fucking car, no. It's much more crude. It's a different sort of a thing. But it's also a third of the price. But it's a wicked fucking car, man. That's a real legit sports car now.

Why did they... It looks better than the first one. The key, if you buy one, is the number eight fuse. What's that? What's that? You got to pull the number eight fuse if you buy one. That's the electronic exhaust baffles. If you pull it, they stay wired open all the time.

Oh, yeah. They have that weird sport thing where you can press... Ew. Drive-by noise regulations. They suck ass. That's so silly. That's why I run no cats in my car, dude. Fuck that.

My car is loud. Hack your own car. You hack your car. You are radical. I'm fucking loud. No cats. You're contributing to global warming. What about the seals, man?

Are you saying that 800 miles a year I drive in that car contributes to global warming? I bought a Volt fucker. How about that? Oh, okay. So it's a karma thing. I like how you think. That's a good contributes to gold. I bought a Volt fucker. So it's a karma thing. I like how you think. That's a good way to think. He buys carbon offsets, right? I do. I buy the Volt and then the Raptor. The Corvette and then the fucking Corvette. That's a good move. That's why my wife drives a Prius.

In five years, they'll have some new technology that siphons carbon out of the air and powers our homes and they'll get mad at you if you don't drive your car enough. Because if there's not enough carbon, the empire won't flourish. You know, they'll figure out a way to suck pollution out of the atmosphere and actually

churn it up and use it as fuel. And when and if they do, they're going to fucking do it. Someone's going to do it. It's out there. It's got to be a real... That's a smart idea, because they can charge us coming and going. They'll be mad at us for not driving enough. They'll tell us to start driving old cars, old shitty cars, bring back lead and fuel. Need more lead mad at us for not driving enough. They'll tell us to start driving old cars, old shitty cars that will bring back

lead and fuel. Need more lead. All the fucking cars in the world don't offset like ships and planes. Right. They have giant tanker ships.

Diesel trucks. No emissions, anything, running back and forth constantly. We should go back to sailboats. We should go back

to fuel out. Sailboats. It's fucking like sailboats. Well, you know, we should go back. Just have assholes row. Assholes that we have in prison. Just make them row.

If you're downvoted as a YouTube commenter, you have to row. Dude, the YouTube commenters. Has there ever been a viler group of human beings? Lowest, like the lowest form of life on the planet. Well, it's not just, what it is is internet commenters in general. It's like, and it's not, it's totally in general. And a lot of you are cool as fuck. No doubt about it.

But there's a lot of people. I get a lot of cool. You do. I interact with a lot of cool people online. No doubt about it. I do too, but not enough. There's so many people out there that just try to, well, you go to their Twitter page and they're just cunting it up with everyone.

You were talking to Carlin about this. Yeah, me and Dan Carlin, we were having a conversation about this. It's true, though, because you have nothing else to do. Or they like it. There's people that like getting you angry. Because if you saw them on the street, probably they'd be the most timid. Will he respond? Will he respond?

Never do anything. Unfortunately, they they'd be the most timid. Will he respond? Will he respond? Never do anything. Unfortunately, they beat me a lot, which sucks. They fucking win, which really pisses me off. I've resigned from YouTube commenting like three times. As many times as I've quit smoking. But you can't help yourself. Are you like the Alec Baldwin of it? Listen, you're a fun guy.

And anyone who's a fun guy can easily be criticized. It's easy to criticize anybody who drives fast cars. It's easy to criticize anybody who compares cars to tits and ass. But it's a fun guy can easily be criticized. It's easy to criticize anybody who drives fast cars. It's easy to criticize anybody who compares cars to tits and ass. But it's also fun. That is a good way to make a living, isn't it? There's nothing wrong with it. It's fun. It's an honest living.

The idea of everybody getting a say in what is good and what is bad is a new thing. And some people shouldn't get a fucking say. They don't deserve it. They don't deserve it. They should not get a new thing. It's brand new. Some people shouldn't get a fucking say. They don't deserve it. They don't deserve it. They should not get a fucking say. This is very fucking Anthony Cumia of you, and I appreciate that. It's my life's goal, no offense,

to do the Opie and Anthony show. They'll have you on. It's a shallow goal, but it's my entire life's goal to do the Opie and Anthony show. Well, I'll tell you what, man. If you want to fly out there, I'm going to do it next time the UFC is in New Jersey. Really? You want to bring me as your date? Super Bowl do it next time the UFC is in New Jersey. Really?

You want to bring me as your date? Super Bowl weekend. You have a mandate at Opie and Anthony? Dude, you're coming with me, man. I'll introduce you to those guys. They would love you. You would love them, too. You've got to bring a badass car, though.

That's part of the deal. It's New York, though. No, Anthony has good cars. I can bring my Aston Martin. It's in New York. Yeah, Anthony has a crazy Shelby Mustang that has like 800 horsepower. I think he fucking wrecked it, dude. I don't want to fucking deny or say.

No comment, your honor. I don't know what was involved in that scenario, so it's just simply a rumor. I feel like I could do well on that show. Yeah, you'd be perfect. I called in once. They made fun of me. Oh, really? Yeah, I called in once.

They made fun of me. And rightfully so. I called in with the fucking douchiest shit ever. How old were you? 22. Oh, okay. I was like, oh, they made fun of me. And rightfully so. I called him with the fucking douchiest shit ever. How old were you? 22. Oh, okay. I was like, oh, they make fun of me. My life's over.

It's a badge of honor, man. They make fun of each other. Opie and Anthony are fun, man. They're the first show that I ever did where I kind of learned that you didn't have to really structure anything. You could just go have fun. Freeform. Those guys, they have comics on. They would have like Patrice, Louis C.K., me, you you know whoever that anybody would come in anybody else to Jim Norton of

course and everybody would just start talking yeah it was just a conversation amongst friends and if you tried to get like sticky with them you tried to like throw in your bits the fucking call you down just like friends fucking talking yeah I think we all owe Danny Rose. I think Howard Stern for sure, for sure we all owe him the greatest debt.

He's the original pioneer of like that kind of free wild radio in my opinion. But then Opie and Anthony brought it to a different place because they had

more of a hang. Their show was like a three hour plus five hour whatever it was hang. Yeah. It wasn't like a bunch of bits so much. Yeah, and I would stay on

while other guests came on too. Like Ed Asner came on once and they go, come on, hang out Joe. Chill with us. You'll hang out and Asner come in and you know not to talk when Ed's talking. Let him discuss things that he wants to discuss. But it's like, it's a hang. It's like you get a chance to sit down with fucking

You're chilling with a bunch of people who are smart. When he was Mary Tyler Moore's boss? Oh, um... He had a show. Remember we went from being Mary Tyler Moore's boss to like being like serious, had like a serious show where he was the same character? Yes, yes, yes. And everybody was like, what the fuck is this? Because he was Mary Tyler Moore's

boss, right? Welcome back, Cotter. I know who you mean, but I can't think of his name. I'm not old enough, I don't think. Sorry name I'm not old enough I don't think so I remember Ed Asner he's still around still whole area wasn't Ed Asner Mary Tyler Moore's boss yeah right he was and didn't on the Mary Tyler Moore show yeah it was a new branch it was about a news room in the IMDB this yeah yeah because it was weird because it was like all the sudden it was a serious show where Mary Tyler Moore was a comedy show. Yeah, exactly. It was a really serious show.

It was kind of like the Washington Post or the New York Times. Yeah. It was all drama. It was before Aaron Sorkin. Yeah. It was better than the newsroom. It was really weird, though. It was like all of a sudden this guy goes from being on this hilarious comedy.

He flipped the coin. But it was the same character. It was like, well, his life got dark. The curmudgeonly news guy. Yeah. I mean, at one point in time. Lou Grant? Yes. Lou it was the same character. It was like, well, his life got dark. The curmudgeonly news guy. Yeah. I mean, at one point in time. Lou Grant? Yes.

Lou Grant. That's it. At one point in time, he was hanging out with this super. I'll tell you what, the poster for his show looks depressing as fuck. Yo, the show was depressing. It really does. The show was depressing. And it was not just depressing.

It was weird. It looks depressing. Doesn't that look depressing? I miss Ted Baxter, the anchorman. It was weird because it was a shift from the original show, which was completely comedy-based, to all of a sudden, this guy's depressed as fuck. Every episode is like someone's trying to kill somebody. It's such a downer. And by the way, is that Livia Soprano?

That's Tony Soprano's mother, isn't it? That's Livia Soprano. Oh, my God, it is. OG, right? Oh, my God, it is. How about that for a spot? That bitch looks like she's six foot tall in that fucking picture. You're dead correct.

Yeah. Look at you. You got a thing for her? Dude, you nailed that shit. I can pull C-list actors out my ace fucking all day, bro. I love people who know pop culture. I hate to go into a meeting and reference something, and then I feel like that old guy talking about shit nobody knows anything about.

Bad cop shows. Like fucking Ed Asner? Yeah. Exactly. Bad cop shows are one of my favorite things of all time. So much so that there was a show called Della Ventura. I remember the name of that show. My manager also manages Kevin James who's the King of Queens.

And they were on the same network as Danny Aiello when he had this show called Della Ventura. And I had them get me the tapes because you couldn't find them. I have. I treasured. Like the original masters? Danny Aiello was probably great, though.

I'll bet that's a great show. It's horrible and awesome at the same time. Exactly. I cherish these tapes. I have people over for De La Ventura watching parties, and I'm not fucking around. Have you bumped them over to digital? No, I have to do that. You do that.

I never see them Delavan tour. I'm sorry. It's so bad. It's so awesome. Joe, you only get so many runs on the tape, so you got to transfer that shit to digital. No, I haven't watched them in years. I'll go transfer them. I'll go transfer them.

I'll go transfer them. I'll go transfer them. I'll go transfer them. I'll go transfer them. I have them in a sacred spot. I have candles around them. I make sure I keep them safe. I thought it would be a really good idea to buy a first season MacGyver DVD box set.

I was like, fuck you, MacGyver. Were you at Amoeba? It was $3? Let me tell you about MacGyver. MacGyver is infinitely better than De La Ventura. I mean, it's not measurable. De La Ventura is one of the worst shows the world has ever known. But that's brilliant.

An old man beats up every young punk that crosses his aisle. He's the best at everything he does. The Gran Torino fucking. You will drown in Danny Aiello's ego. You will drown. You will never make it out alive if you watch that. He was really good in Do the Right Thing. Well, he's an amazing.

Do you remember Do the Right Thing? He was a great actor. No bullshit. I don't know who made the script. I don't know what the fuck happened in that show. I'm talking shit. That was my buddy. I'm talking shit.

Maybe Danny thought it was a subtle comedy. But he's an amazing actor. You can't take that away from him. The guy is an incredible actor. And so, of course, he has a bit of an ego. He's fucking badass. He's a badass actor. But still.

That show was so bad, it hurt your feelings. It hurt your feelings. It was so bad, you would watch and you'd go, holy shit. Like, he plays pool with this guy, this young punk, and he fucking shoots in every ball. And the guy goes, you're the best I've ever seen, mister. What's your secret? He goes, my secret? Don't miss.

It's the best, worst show ever. Don't miss. It's the best worst show ever You fall You fall in a fetal position And break your own fingers Because you're squeezing them so tightly You're so embarrassed for him Let me tell you about the first season of MacGyver I don't know There's two seasons

It might have been just one season I have a nice box of them The first season of MacGyver If you watch it, is three quarters voiceover. Random jungle shots. Helicopter over the jungle. And then I broke him out of prison.

No way. Are you serious? And then it's like, next voiceover. Are you serious? It's the most bullshit thing. Is it really that bad? They could have shot the entire season in about four days. They probably did. That's how they did it. It was cheap. Fucking Richard Dean

Anderson in the booth. He was good in Stargate, though. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. Those old fucking old crime shows, cop and crime shows are so awesome. Well, Ironside, remember Guy in a Wheelchair? They're remaking Ironside

for NBC. Oh my god. They are, with Blair Underwood as the guy. Who's Blair Underwood? I know that. I'm supposed to know that name. He's an African-American actor. He was in an NBC show last season where he's the president and there's this other dimension or people from another world.

They're aliens, actually. It was actually a really cool show. You made it sound terrible. It made one season. I'm still thinking about Della Ventura. I'm sorry, I can't focus. Would you rather you want to call it early and go with Della Ventura Marathon?

It was such a great show. Such a great show for all the wrong reasons. No, it sounds awesome. It's like the $6 million man. Do you do a back-to-back marathon? No, Six Million Dollar Man was from a different era. It wasn't as groovy. Oh, okay.

How fucking old are you? 45. Yeah, see, you got 14 years on me, homie. Yeah. I'm dropping Delavan Kier references. Guess what, you young fucks. I like being bald. It makes me feel relaxed. I'm the old motherfucker here. Are you older than Todd? Yeah, he's the oldest.

What? No, no, no. I was going to say, it would be a very weird thing if you were older than Todd. I'm much older. Like Tanner Faust is almost as old as Joe and looks like a child. Yeah, he's very baby-faced. Yeah. He does well.

He is. He's beaten life. He's ageless. That's what happens. He just wins. Well, maybe driving that fast, you numb your nerves. Time is different. I know Bob Bondurant.

You know Bob Bondurant? That guy is awesome. Bondurant School of High Performance Driving in Arizona. It's a great track in Phoenix. The guy was like, he drove around with Ford GTs back in the day. This guy won fucking the 24 hours of Le Mans in a Shelby Cobra. That's how badass he is. He won the gnarliest race in the world in the scariest car ever made.

That's all you need to know about this guy. He took on every driver on the planet. Like, Americans in those days weren't winning on all these international circuits. The Europeans kicked our ass all the time. And then Enzo Ferrari was, like, shitting in our mouths on a fucking weekly basis over in Europe. Exactly. Phil Hill came along, and Bob Bondurant came along. Bob Bondurant, Dan Gurney, and Carroll Shelby

and went out and just smashed. Kind of bizarre, because in those days in America, road racing wasn't the same thing. It was way below football, baseball, basketball. So I used Bondurant's track in Arizona sometimes, and he's 78 years old, and he's there every day. And he has a much younger, very lovely wife. Shazam, son.

She's smart. She's the marketing brains behind the whole thing. He didn't have his name on the car. And she's a marketing ace. Yeah. And so he's 78 and I go out with him. Bless his heart. Bless his heart.

How old is she? In her 50s. Bless his heart. Bless his heart. How old is she? In her 50s. Bless his heart. And I'll go out with him in a Corvette ZR1. He's 78 years old. He'll go, I do eight laps every day to keep my reflexes sharp. Oh, my God. And you go, as you're getting in the car, and you go, oh, my God, this is the end.

It's going to say Bob Bondurant and one unidentified other person died today. And then he goes, like, hucks it in sideways at 90. He can drive like a motherfucker. Imagine getting in the car with your grandfather and having him drift the whole track. Oh my God, I'm so scared. That's so hardcore. No, you know what? You get in the car and you're like, I'm wearing a helmet.

I'm strapped in five-part harness. I got a Hans device. There's a roll cage. I'll be fine. My grandfather, before he went... Oh, look at Bob. And that's his wife on the right. Shazam, son! Boom! Bob looks thrilled in that picture. Yeah, he's a happy man. Bob's very happy. Why should he not be?

Look at her. Viagra exists. As long as Viagra exists, we're all good. Fucking he's great, man. Thank you for all the track time, Bob and Pat. And she's smart. Beautiful. I love when people win. Yeah, exactly. It's great, right? Life wins.

He's a good guy. He's a sweetheart. He's having fun. Yeah, people that would hate on that Why is this fucking guy YouTube commenter number 465656298 He earned it. Well, it's just unfortunate that there's people out there that have so much horrifying shit floating around their veins. Our fucking culture sets a really terrible precedent based on the people that appear on the front pages of fucking TMZ, dude.

It certainly does. It's a really terrible precedent to set, isn't it? Well, I think we're fascinating. I think we're fascinating, and really stupid people are fascinating in undeniable ways, even the smart folks. I'm obsessed with Farrah Abraham because she is so out of touch with reality. Who's that? I don't know who that is.

Who is that? That's that teen mom that you made the very obvious anal porno, and is like, oh, no, we were dating, and it leaked, and it's like, you know? Oh, but you got a million dollars. Well, you know, really young people that get thrust into the camera like that, I can't imagine the kind of pressure,

and especially if you don't necessarily have your shit together and all of a sudden you're on a teen mom show and you have to provide for your child, and there's like a lot of weirdness to that. Dude, when I was in high school, what am I? It's exploitative, that kind of television, some of it. In certain ways, it's almost impossible for it to not be. Right, yeah.

Because it's impossible for you to be a teenager and to be able to make up your mind whether or not you want the whole world to be able to see you for the rest of your life. Right. I don't think you even understand what you're doing. They're not thinking through it. Their parents don't think through it. Let me just rephrase that. I don't think I would have understood what I was doing. Right.

I know I wouldn't have understood what I was doing, and I wouldn't have wanted that on television. I know that for me. But that's me. I mean, maybe some people don't care, and it's not that big of a deal, and it helps. It gives them money, and it helps them get through. Helps them now.

I kind of get that. It can provide for them. But was fame the end game for you? No. Because fame is the end game for them. Yeah, well, it's not. I don't know if it's the end game. That's a good way of saying it. It's the only game for you? No. Because fame is the end game for them. Yeah, well, it's not. I don't know if it's the end game. That's a good way of saying it.

It's the only game they've got to play. All that matters is the fame. But it's the only game they've got to play. Right. Do you know what I'm saying? Obviously, they're like meth heads in fucking Alabama. The amount of reaction they can get from fame is so much greater than the amount of reaction that they can get from getting really good at a craft, or really good at an occupation, or really good at rising to the top of their field,

or suck a lot of cocks in a reality show, and drink whiskey through a funnel that's connected to your asshole, and you're the life of the party. And then all of a sudden everybody wants to know you, and you're going to be at the fucking club opening in Vegas. Yeah. You know? I mean, that's really how we rock it.

Yeah. And so you're looking, you look and you're like, why did I get a PhD? And this motherfucker makes a million dollars a year on Jersey Shore. Right. What's happening? Right.

What's happening in the world? I ran into Preston Lacey at the fucking Hollywood Roosevelt and asked him if it was, you know who he is? Who's that? The fat guy from Jackass. Oh, okay. Poor guy. He's the token fat guy in Jackass.

What happened to him? You know, he would do horrible things for $5,000. Oh, my God. They did crazy things to that guy. And I would ask him, the first thing I said was, dude, was it worth it? Right. And he goes, no. Just as straight as a fucking arrow, just a no.

Well, those jackass guys, they do a lot of stuff that can get you really, really hurt. You know? Dangerous. And I know that's not smart. I'm not a Dodger Rogan. But there's something like Johnny Knoxville after he became famous. After he did movies.

Johnny Knoxville stood right in front of a bull and let that bull launch him in the air. He put a blindfold on and stood in front of a bull. He was already rich. He was already a movie star. He was in Dukes of Hazzard and then let a bull charge him in the chest. He's so fucking crazy.

And he's a dad and he's like 40, right? He was trying to be a purist. Letting these bulls launch him through the air. Yeah, he's trying to keep with it. But it's such a crazy idea. What if Johnny Knoxville's like fucking Mick Jagger and he's like 50 getting kicked in the nuts and shit? Oh my God. Mick Jagger's another he's like 50 getting kicked in the nuts and shit. Oh, my God. Mick Jagger's another weird thing, though.

God, I don't want to go pay to see Mick Jagger perform. Why? Because he's so old. It's like rock and roll is not to be performed by old people. It's just not. Like, I'll listen to old Rolling Stones. It's brilliant. They made'll listen to old Rolling Stones. It's brilliant. They made some of the best music ever.

But I'm not going to go to Staples Center and watch the Rolling Stones. Where's the cutoff, though? It's just not. Where's your cutoff? The cutoff is just when it feels weird. Because I just got two nights of Pearl Jam in November, and I'm fucking psyched. That's a little different. Pearl Jam is well within the parameters.

They're well within parameters. I don't agree with Todd. I don't agree with Todd. I don't agree with Todd. You would go see Mick Jagger at Staples? Without a doubt. The only reason why I would not is the parking. That would be my concern. But if somebody could teleport you into a seat?

Yeah, my concern would be parking. But if I could... Just fucking getting out of those things is such a pain in the dick, man. Those giant lines. You're fucking weird. Use the subway, Joe. Take a pain in the dick, man. Those giant lines. You're fucking weird. Use the subway, Joe. Take the metro. You can do that.

Take metro. Go right to Staples Center. I'm not kidding. I like driving places. I like driving places. You want your GT3. But this motherfucker, this old lady looking dude, he can still rock it. It can't be any worse picture.

It's probably not even a real picture. It's probably a wax figure that got hit with a fucking lighter. That looks like he was skydiving and they took his face and put it on a McJugger. No, that's not Jeremy Clarkson in an Ariel Atom, Mr. Carguy. No, it's like that old lady in Playboy magazine, the grandmother, naked, that would open the door with her tits touching the ground. It's just weird to hear Mick Jagger playing I Can't Get No Satisfaction. Well, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm glad I never had that Playboy. I want to see that guy.

It's a cartoon, not a real recurring cartoon. I want to see that guy before he expires because I think he's a historical figure. Then it's a nostalgia thing, but it's not. He's an historical figure in rock and roll, for sure. True. I've heard they have like real... The real band is behind the fucking stage playing the songs. No. No! I do not believe that.

Even that, I wouldn't believe. That's some fucking Dealey Plaza type shit. I heard it somewhere. That's some Grassy Knoll type shit. Blame it on the rain. I don't know. Does Mick Jagger sound alike backstage? I can't imagine that would be true. I can't imagine that they would allow that.

I agree. But here's the thing. I grew up on the East Coast. I saw Bruce Springsteen in an outdoor concert with 2,000 people before Born to Run. We listened to him on the radio all the time. Wow, that must have been wild. Fucking fantastic. Before Born to Run. What year was that? That radio all the time. Wow, that must have been wild. Fucking fantastic.

Before Born to Run. What year was that? That's how old I am. What year was that? This was like 1973. Nice. Oh, my God. In Rock Creek Park in Washington, D.C. Carter Baron Amphitheater.

There's no denying that Bruce Springsteen was and is still a bad motherfucker. But then the Staples Center. How dare you but then? No, no, he is. He still is. But I'm just saying. Are you going to but then Bruce Springsteen? No, he is, he still is Are you going to butt Dan? He's a bad motherfucker

As a performance space They open Staples Center All my buddies are like, we gotta go see Springsteen Staples Center is opening We got all these special tickets, we went to see him It sucked And he played his heart out, it wasn't his fault Whose fault was it?

The acoustics sucked, the crowd sucked Have they fixed it since then? Let's hope so. A little bit. But he said. The crowd sucked? How did the crowd suck? I just mean it was loud and crowded and parking.

He means it was a concert. To your point. So it sucked. Oh, okay. So when you're saying it sucked. There were like 20,000 people. You're meaning it sucked as an experience for you. Correct.

Okay. But the show didn't suck. Bruce. Bruce is Bruce. Bruce will always be the boss. He's amazing. He's unbelievable. Todd's drunk. Bruce is Bruce. Bruce will always be the boss. He's amazing. He's unbelievable. Todd's drunk.

He's unchanged. It's clear he's drunk. This was full. He's wavering in and out like I am with Danny Aiello. I am Russian. I can drink liquor. By the way, Danny, if you listen to this, I'm just fucking around. You're a brilliant actor, and it's just a joke.

I've done bad TV shows, too. It's all good, homie. I do a very famously bad TV show. But me to you, Danny Aiello, much respect. You're a bad motherfucker as an actor. How do you come back from a bad TV show? Well, it's hard. You make a good TV show. You know, if someone puts them on something with some really good writing.

I mean, look, the bottom line with actors is if you don't give them something good to sink their teeth into, they're never going to have a good show. It's impossible. Do you consider yourself an actor? No. You're not an actor. You're a personality. That you consider yourself an actor? No. You're not an actor. You're a personality. That's different from an actor. I've done some acting, but when I did it, I only did it because I couldn't believe that

anybody was going to put me on television. Yeah. There was never anything I planned out. What did you actually act in? You acted? I was on two sitcoms. One of them was called Hard Balls, a baseball show that was terrible, and then another one was called News Radio, and that was on for-

Oh, yeah. News Radio, that's a real show. News Radio's a classic, man. Yeah, it baseball show that was terrible. And then another one was called News Radio, and that was on for... News Radio, that's a real show. News Radio is a classic, man. Yeah, it was on for five years. And then after I did that, I was like, okay, that's it with actors. Oh, all right. And I only acted with Kevin James in a couple movies, but just Kevin's my buddy. He's a good dude.

He seems like he's probably fun, I guess. Kevin James is a great guy, man. He's a great guy. I liked Hitch, I guess. He's a funny motherfucker. He's a funny motherfucker. He's a funny motherfucker. Matt's equivocating here. He's got this, Kevin James has this family environment that he's entertaining in.

You know what I mean? Is he stuck in family hell? He's stuck in, well, let me tell you something. It's not hell. He's in Adam Sandler movies, man. He's in Adam Sandler movies. You go to his house and you go, oh, okay, well, yeah, you're making a lot of money. He's trying to fucking like bobs Saget it up a little bit.

He likes to do, but the thing is about Kevin, what I know for real, he likes doing those movies. He really does. He seems like a guy with a big heart. He's a very big heart. He's a sweetheart. He's a sweetheart. Does he have a meat bone in his body? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he likes to make movies that entertain his own kids. Absolutely. I'm sure that's what he's about. But he's always been like fairly, he was always really clean. He wasn't Red Fox. He what he's about. But he's always been fairly... He was always really clean. He wasn't Red Fox. Even before he was married, he was a... No, no. He was always really clean.

We were always good buddies, but our comedy was always very different. Right. But he's just... He's a funny fucking dude, man. Do you like being comedy? His stand-up comedy was... Kevin James' stand-up comedy was... I'm telling you, I've laughed harder watching him...

Really? ...than very few people in my life. That's impressive. Being his buddy. That's impressive. Are we on YouTube or is it worth watching? Well, it's hard because the stuff that he does now, I think, I don't know if he's done a special in a while. I'm sure he has something.

But when I was friends with him, he was coming up and he would, when Kevin goes crazy, when he would get really angry at something, he had this bit about pulling his girl pulling his car up to where his girlfriend was and she goes to grab the door handle before he unlocks it and it cancels it out and he can't get her to let go and he's fucking screaming he gets red in the face they cancel each other out over and over again and he gets fucking crazy. I don't want to even paraphrase the bit because it's so funny.

No, but I can imagine picturing Kevin James' face getting redder and angrier. Yeah, he's funny. It actually is funny. It sounds hilarious. It goes crazy. Sit on the curb!

It sounds funny, doesn't it? We had a lot of fun together. We did, Kevin and I will always be friends. We did a lot of gigs together like coming up when we were both, essentially like

our first couple of years of actually being professionals we were both like palling around together yeah how many cities would you tour when you did that

is this like 10 or 20 it would depend like most of the time when I was east coast base I stuck on the east coast because that's where I lived and I didn't do up and down

the only time I did road gigs was I would get flown into like these really shitty shitty colleges in like Olivet, Michigan we would fly on a propeller plane. And a prop.

Yeah. I didn't know where the- They tell you it was a private plane and then told you that you had three stopovers on the way. They would give you- Drop off the mail, a couple of chickens. And I would get a rental car and I would have to drive to the location. And I had a map, okay? There was no navigation systems back then.

And the directions they gave you were always wrong. Siri who? Motherfucker. So some weird motherfucker in the middle. Yeah. I've had some crazy experiences like that. Well, who do you like to see? If you could go see comedy.

That's a movie joke. Who do you like to see? I like to see. There's so many people now. This is like one of the best times ever. It's a really good time for comedy, isn't it? For stand-up. Your buddy Brian was hilarious.

Callan, yeah. In Washington. We went to see Brian Callan in Washington. He was awesome. Yeah, he was hilarious. We landed early and Joe says, do you want to go see this show? I think we can get there. I'm like, fuck yes.

Let's go. Have you seen this dude, Chris Porter? No. He's fucking great. I just saw him at the Comedy Store. Where's he from? He's a California. I think he's LA.

He does LA a lot. There's a lot of really funny guys now. It's getting better and better all the time. It's very exciting. I happened to see in Florida, my friend gave me a Lamborghini Murcielago. Oh, I thought you meant a man purse. No, no, no. I was going to bond with you with my fanny pack.

Oh, you got to put those up online, man. You rock a fanny pack? You and Bill Goldberg. I wear a fanny pack all day, son. You should see. Bill Goldberg rocks a fanny pack, too. The tweets were blowing up. I have no problem admitting I wear a fanny pack.

The tweets were blowing up last week on the show. Well, on the show, I wore a fanny pack when I went out squatching, and I made sure to point it out that I have my sweet fanny pack. What's squatching? I missed it. Squatch is when you go looking for Bigfoot. Oh. Sasquatch. They call it squatching, and I made sure to point it out. My sweet fanny pack. Squatch is when you go looking for Bigfoot. Sasquatch. They call it squatching.

Yeah. I didn't think you would actually. I'm actually in the know about squatching. Oh, Jesus. We went squatching for the TV show. Joe's gone squatching, man. We came really close to finding Bigfoot. While you were questioning everything, were you questioning Squatch?

Is that what happened? Yeah, we went. Is that even really worth questioning? I think we've pretty much established that's some bullshit. This is why, there's only one reason why it's worth questioning. The only one for me. And that's that it used to be a real animal.

100%. No doubt about it. It was a gigantic piece of shit. Like an ancient animal. Like a giant squid, but of... 100,000 years. Within the last 100,000 years it was an 8-10 foot tall gigantic primate-looking thing that may or may not have been bipedal, depending, apparently, I said bipedal before, but then some people on the Rogan board pointed out

that that's actually in dispute. It's based on the shape of the jaw, apparently. They believe the jaw is shaped in a way that indicates that the thing stood upright, not like the shape of a gorilla, where it's over on, you know, it's on four corners. All fours. So what you're saying is none of those people who say they've seen it a gorilla where it's over on four floors. So what you're saying is none of those people who say they've seen it have actually seen it.

That's the point. What I'm saying is that it was a real animal. Maybe they have. Maybe they have. It was a real animal that lived in the same area where people came from. Where people came on the Bering Strait, the Bering Strait, that's Asia. And that's exactly where these gigantopithecuses were. So there was a split at some point in evolution.

Well, they died off. Or is it not human related? Most likely they died off. Okay. Most likely there's nothing up there. Most likely people full of shit. Most likely people see things in the dark. Most likely.

If you look at, you know, if you want to like Occam's raise the shit out of it. Yeah, yeah. But you have to wonder about this sheer mass of the Pacific Northwest, first of all. If you fly over that thing, it will make you shit your pants. You can't believe how many fucking trees there are up there. And you know no one's in there. I'm going there tomorrow. It's beautiful, man.

Mount Rainier is fucking fabulous. I'm doing 500 miles off-road. I'm doing the Washington Discovery. Washington Backcountry Discovery. We're doing 500 miles on dirt. Dude, what if you find Bigfoot? What if you're the guy? I'm going to need your fanny pack. Just in case, give me the fanny pack.

You need a good, solid camera, man. You can't be fucking with your iPhone. Oh, no, no. We're bringing, like, 12 megapixel. We're bringing, like, proper gear. Of course, you're filming. You got GoPros. You have GoPros all over the car? Maybe you get an HD. GoPros are fucking amateur hours, son. We're way beyond GoPros. What? 5D Mark II and III mounted.

Strapped to a car? Fuck yeah, bro. Overkill? No. Proper cinematic quality. You guys just geeked out. Interchangeable lenses. You geeked out on me.

You hurt my feelings. This is why. We're talking cameras on cars. That's why you're making cable shows and I'm working on the internet, which is the future, because I fucking shoot cars properly. And networks. And the internet with a few networks. The real question is, now that I have Joe cornered on a fucking microphone, can I make

a film with your car? Yeah, yeah, we can do something. We should make a film with your car. We talked about it online. That'd be cool. Yeah. Because Shark Works, who worked on this car, does excellent work. Oh, well, the road has to be.

It's such a fun car, man. Pick a road. You know the roads. I don't usually say that. The road we talked about. No, no, no. First of all, don't say it on the air. You can't. Never say it on the air. Pick a road. You know the roads. I don't usually say that. The road we talked about. No, no, no. First of all, don't say it on the air. You can't.

Never say it on the air. You're right. We'll take it to a track and have some fun with it. That's what we should do. It's a fun car. It's really fun. It's glued to the ground, too. I'm exposing my...

It's so alive, that car. It's so low. That's not your daily driver, though, is it? Yes, it is. It's your daily? Yes, it is. Come on. That's what I drive.

You don't have a fucking daily? I have other cars, but that's the car that I drive. What are your other whips right now? I have an M3. A new one? A V8 one? Yeah. I got another one.

I had one, and I got another. Not a V8. Yeah, the same V8. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not the turbocharged V6, right? That's the new one? No, that's the new, not out yet, no. I got a new one because I loved it so much.

That's like my traffic car. Those cars are sweet cars. It's a perfectly balanced car. It's as fast as you ever need it to be. It merges. It does whatever you need. You're not driving like an asshole. I have the double comforts of home. It's a really good transmission.

If you're in LA, you have an excuse. Yeah. We were texting back and forth and you were saying that it would bum you out with the new Porsche GT3 and the lack of paddle or the lack of stick. A manual. I won't buy it.

Well, here's the problem is that you and your Porsche parked outside, you have spent however long you've had that car daily driving the most perfect manual transmission there is. Okay? So your car, I drive a lot of cars. I drive like 200 cars a year. That's the best that stick gets. Now, the 991 with that seven speed they have, it sucks. Right.

It's not good. I've heard that from you and a couple other people. So would you rather have good paddles or a terrible shifter? I don't think there should be those two options. Of course there should. Yeah, there should be a better choice. Go back to the same. Figure out how to fit that 997 six-speed manual gearbox in your stupid 991 engine

and go fuck yourself that's what they need to do go back to a six-speed i don't need seven speed stupid what am i trying to save pennies on gas mileage stop being silly you know what you really want to make two transmissions you fuck i got i got 19 miles a gallon on my car the only way to get a step up from what you have right now is to take your motor and put it in a Cayman. Oh, yeah. That's the way to do it. That's the fucking game. The four-liter... That's the game-ender. The four-liter Cayman

is the game-over Porsche. That's the game-ender. That's the fucking stupid And if Porsche had the balls to actually make that car, it would be fucking tremendous. The problem is, nobody would buy a 911.

It would end the 911. It would be over. Does Shark Works do that? Will they take a GT3 engine and put it in a Cayman? And you know who else will? My dick just got semi. It's BBI Autosport, who I promised I would plug.

Yeah. Those are the guys who made that 80s car. Was it 85? Is that what it was? Yeah. That's what I was going to tell you, was I almost brought it. I almost brought it, but I have to get on a flight at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning, so I can't bring it back to Huntington.

So I brought my car instead. Well, we'll do another next time we do a podcast. Bring it. Next time you need to come to my podcast studio, which is at my house. But why don't they put a sunroof in the Cayman? You can buy a Boxster, which has no roof. Yeah, why would you do that when you can have a Boxster? No, I love the sunroof in my car.

I know you do, but you know what, man? Those buttons on those Boxster S's, they go back so fast. It's like 13 seconds. I don't want a convertible. But you're in a car that's like... You can on those Boxster S's, they go back so fast. It's like 13 seconds. I don't want a convertible. But you're in a car that's like, it's such a solid roadster. I've been in fucking Boxster. I've driven a Boxster. They're great cars. It's a great toy car.

We hit a weird error right now with cars, in that the exponential increase of technology that applies to almost everything in the world, whether it's laptops or cell phones, also applies to automobiles and horsepower. And there's a point of diminishing returns. Right. And in my opinion, it seems to lie within this range of like a really light car and

a 320 horsepower engine. And that's where a lot of these guys like that race car driver that was married to Ashley Judd. What is his name? Dario. Oh, yeah. Frank Keating. Yes.

Yeah. What is his name? Dario? Oh, yeah. Franchitti. Yes. That guy has the sickest 1973 Porsche with a 325 horsepower engine. Now, think about it. So much in that car.

That's a lot of juice. He is so much in that car. So much in that car. But that doesn't sound like much in the era of 648 horsepower ZR1. And you know what's fault? It is fucking YouTube's fault, dude. Because I swear to God. But you're YouTube. fault, dude. I swear to God. You're YouTube.

Forgive me. I live in a world of if you can't beat them, join them. I got Exxon Mobil stock coming out of my fucking asshole right now. Because you know why? I make fucking money on it. That's why. You make money on Exxon Mobil stock? What?

Yeah, dude. My Exxon stock is going up and up. Did you buy Exxon stock? Fuck yeah, dude. I have tons of it. You're part of the Illuminati or something. Dude, you can't beat him. Join him.

I'm not going to take down Exxon. He's part of the New World Order. NWO. No, but YouTube is the same thing. You see a video of a Supra with 1,200 horsepower and then with 1,500 horsepower and 1,800 horsepower. When the truth is, the limit of modern tire technology is like 600. That's about where it stops. Beyond that, it's like wheel spin or going off a cliff or into a fucking wall.

And people talk about all the newest modern supercars that aren't stick shift, right? But you can't have it both ways. You can't sell somebody a 700 horsepower stick shift car. You know why? Because they'll fucking die. That's bad advertising. I mean, imagine if they sold a 500 horsepower fucking GT3 RS to the public. People would die.

Well, let's start breaking that down because that really is what they're doing. If you buy a ZR1, you buy a Corvette ZR1, you can walk in any dealership, and if you have the cash, and it's a lot of money, but it's worth it. What is it, 80 grand? No, no. A ZR1's about $150,000. $120,000.

Yeah, and they're fucking... And worth every penny. Yeah, it's the bargain of the supercar world. 640 horsepower, zero to 60 on a stick in three seconds. In first gear. You don't even shift gears. You just dump the clutch,

stomp the gas, and the world's easiest launch control, too. Just first gear, you know, dump it. Is there a button for launch control? No, no, no. It's just built in. So you put it in first, push the clutch in, and go flat. Don't you want to push a button?

I don't want launch control. That shit's ridiculous. A bright red shiny button? I don't need it. You're dealing with 648 horsepower cars. Bro, I launched a fucking 1100 horsepower Nissan GTR. I'm so stupid. I lit up all four tires through three years.

And you know what the guy who owned the car said? What? He was going to go for more. He wanted to take the car back. Wow. And get more horsepower? This is how boring the Nissan GTR is. That 1100 horsepower doesn't make it fun.

Does this sound like a penile extension to you? No. To me, it's an extension of the man's need for technological innovation. It's the same thing. It's transferred into gears and horsepower and handling and the Nürburgring times. But you want to close it. I don't know. It feels cock-based to me, though.

Bigger is better. I want more. You know what I think? It's just foolishness. It feels cock-based to me, though. Bigger is better. I want more. You know what? I think it's just foolishness. It's like bodybuilder mentality. You're a bodybuilder, but a 130-pound woman can choke you out. All she has to do is hang on for 30 seconds. That's a better analogy.

You're going to run out of gas. Yeah. I mean, would you rather own a car with your hard-earned money? Would you rather own a car that went fast on paper or felt fast when you drove it? Felt fast when you drove it, for sure. So that's all you need. That was Dario's rationalization or explanation for his car. He was talking about his car being like 2,000-something pounds,

325 horsepower, which is a lot for a car like that. And it's a dream. It's like this is what he enjoys. Perfect balance. Yeah, no power-assisted steering, just a raw connection to the road. An old 911 with 300 horsepower is a stupidly fast car. Yeah, and weird fast. You know, like, you feel like, if you're going 40, it feels like you're going 80.

Uh-huh. Yeah. You're going to die in that car. That's perfect. You want to talk about scary fucking driving fun, and you're safe. Drive a fucking Countach. Oh, Jesus. I mean, you could die at any second in that car.

That's like a plane that doesn't have wings. Yeah. Or I drove, you know, this thing, the Hennessey Venom GT. Have you seen this thing? Oh, Jesus. I mean, you could die at any second in that car. That's like a plane that doesn't have wings. Or I drove this thing, the Hennessey Venom GT. Have you seen this thing? Oh, I saw that video. Is that the yellow one? No, that's the team. They had a yellow one. They did have a yellow one.

Top Gear Magazine did a thing with it. It's based on the Lotus? I saw it at Cars and Coffee. Yeah. Yeah. It's based on the Lotus. It's ridiculous. I mean, Stephen Tyler has one of these things.

Oh, my God. We're talking about old rock stars. Oh, my God. His fucking bones are made of whatever they're made of. Powder, baby powder. Yeah, whatever you replace paper mache. His bones are baby powder and straws lightly taped together. Yeah, and I'm driving this thing, and I go zero to 200 in 15 seconds.

Oh, my God. And it's like, you are selling this to people? If you were Steven Tyler, that's the kind of car you'd want. Like, fuck it, I'm Steven Tyler. Exactly. Dude, that car's all about power to weight ratio. Say it back in the saddle again. He deserves a car like that.

Give the guy some credit. Another chick? Big deal. 200 miles an hour, that's something. Right. So get this, Steven Tyler had them put this crazy radio system in the car that added like 80 kilograms to the car, so they gave it more horsepower to offset the radio.

Oh, that's so crazy. Does it go to 11? Why would that even factor in? Why would that even factor in? 1,300 watts? How many watts? You need to go 280. Every kilogram counts. Yeah, I think driving

enjoyment is what's important, and it's not about being a fucking complete total maniac. It's not. And that's what people really miss out on. You don't understand. You can drive at a normal, safe speed and not be a dickhead and enjoy driving. Yeah. These are fun cars. We live in a cool time.

That's the problem with a lot of cars. Benjamin, my son was like 12, and he said to me we're going somewhere he's like dad is driving fun and it was a really i hadn't even thought about it before and i said i hadn't thought about it in a long time since i started driving and i said yeah actually driving is fun yeah and it should be fun especially if you're in the right car man if you're in a fun car driving is fun well it's like, why isn't it anymore? Like, why was it at one point in time? Why isn't it anymore?

Too many stoplights. Look at fucking movies like Vanishing Point and the first Cannonball Run and shit. I love Vanishing Point. You used to be able to run from the cops. I mean, can you even fathom trying to run from the cops? Smokey and the Bandit. They would run from the cops in a car, and sometimes they would win. You run from cops in eight news helicopters, sometimes they would win. You run from cops

in eight new helicopters and they're tasing you. It's on YouTube. You could run and get away at one point. Homie had a 440 with a six-pack on, open throttle, a Firebird with a T-bar. Cars run at a 15-second quarter mile and you can get away. Cowboy boots

and a jean jacket and he's sweating under his beard. You ever run from the cops, Joe? No. I've run from the cops once. Did you get away. Cowboy boots and a jean jacket and he's sweating onto his beard. You ever run from the cops, Joe? No. I've run from the cops once. Did you get away? I did get away. I got pulled over by the cops. I got away once and then I ran once and I got caught and then let go. That's some good talk.

What'd you say to them? I got caught in Alex Roy's BMW M5. Did it have the German police markings? Full German police slavery. This guy, do you know about Alex Roy, Joe? No. He's have the German police markings? Full German police slavery. This guy, do you know about Alex Roy, Joe? No. He's one of those coast-to-coast guys. He's a transcontinental guy.

He set a record. What does that mean, coast-to-coast guys? Alex Roy's a friend of mine. How quickly can you drive from New York to L.A.? Yeah. It's a thing. Oh, my God. People do it, and he did it, and he wrote a book.

That sounds dangerous as fuck. It's super dangerous. His big trick was BMW tarted up like a German police vehicle. Well, for the actual record-breaking run, he did storm chasers. Oh, he did? Yeah, for the actual run, it was storm chasers. He later went to German police livery. But we were driving that car in South Carolina, and it has all kinds of nerdy shit in it.

Right? So all kinds of electronics, really crazy stuff. So we're going with the- There's a helicopter look spot kinds of like electronics, like really crazy stuff. So we're going- There's a helicopter look spotting for police cars, that kind of stuff. Oh my God. So we're like going to Buck 60 through South Carolina. I'm driving, right? Taillight's out.

It has a taillight cut out. So no taillights, no brake lights. Running dark. Isn't that what you call it? Yeah, yeah. It's like driving a submarine. Oh my God. So I'm doing a Buck 60.

Run deep, run silent. And it has night vision so we could see like driving a submarine. Oh, my God. It's like a Buck 60. Run deep, run silent. And it has night vision, so we could see a cop in the trees. Oh, my God. So we cut- A cop was in the trees? Yeah, because you could see their engines are idling, so you could see the heat signature through the trees. It's Jackie Gleason.

Oh, the trees are ahead. Ahead. He's hiding in the trees. Oh, my God. So he gets us, but we're full dark at this point. Right. So I try to run, and we got off the first exit and turn left, right? Because if you're running from the cops, you always turn left.

80% of cops go right because the right is the easier turn. Oh. So you always go left if you're running from the cops. Good strategy. All you listeners. Another left on some road. Not to be advised. Hurry.

I got out and started pissing. That's right, because left has to go into traffic. Yeah. So you always want to make the harder turn, which is the left. At the very least, it buys you some time. And in this case, it didn't work. Well, the cop came over and was like, what is this car you're doing? We said we were raising money for the-

Use the accent. We should just say right now, how about this? Pull the fuck over and let the cop arrest you. Don't go left. Sorry. Okay? Don't run from the cops. This is good consumer advice, bro.

The best consumer advice would be it'll cost you even more when they catch you. Probably. Because these days they got drones. Probably have a drone in your car that you're not really aware of that we'll find out about next year. In the rental car they do. When then the new Bradley Manning releases documents. The P.S. to all that shit is I now have a lawyer

that I have to pay like $1,000 a month just to keep me fucking driving. That shit catches up with you. What happened? You got a ticket? I've gotten many, many, many, many, many, many. You don't have a radar detector? I do. That only works some of the time. This is an important message for the

young people out there. Learn from Matt Farah. Don't do that or you'll lose your license. Or it costs you a boatload That only works some of the time. This is an important message for the young people out there. Learn from Matt Farah. Exactly. Don't do that or you'll lose your license. Or it costs you a boatload every month to a lawyer, a guy in a tie. See, people give me shit because they don't like street drift like Chris Harris. Like, he's in, like, a foreign country. You know what? Imagine I went up on fucking Mulholland and started street drifting on video.

How quickly would I be in jail for that shit? Yeah. Five minutes. Like, right away. He street drifts in an old Porsche around sheep. I'm not joking. Is this New Zealand? Pull up Perfect 9-11 by Chris Harris.

This motherfucker takes this 1971 something Porsche with a 300 horsepower engine. Wow. And he built it like before Singer was doing these reconstructions. He put, like, modern chassis, had Tuttle do the full race suspension and full, like, inside. Rally car shit. Total rally cage. Yeah. Completely rally cage. I went to Tuttle's shop in Europe, in England.

It was crazy. Yeah. I would geek out if I went there. I'd never met him before. I didn't know who he was. Hey, Matt, this is Richard. Oh, nice to meet you. Would you like to try my new dog box?

And he had a 911 with a fucking dog box in it. Oh, sweat this. This crazy fuck. Those are white things. Those are sheep. And this dude is going gangster around this corner. That is a hot looking car. Look at that Porsche.

That's so beautiful. Yeah, that's a 1971. What is that? Look at that Porsche. That's so beautiful. I think it's a 71. What he did was he put a modern engine in a more modern gearbox in still air-cooled.

Did he tweak the suspension? Oh yeah, totally, completely. What it essentially is is the best you could do of every year. That's gorgeous. Well, you know what it is? There's some call to nostalgia when we look at his classic shape.

Look at him going sideways around that corner. God damn. I love that. Watch this. There's some call to nostalgia when you see a classic shape. Watch this. Watch this. I mean, do you know the kind of balls you have to have to street drift

with his sheep? Look, he cut the curb there. You know what this is? This is like the ballet move. It's like a pirouette. Well, with a car. That car weighs under 2,000 pounds. Wow.

And it's like somebody's car. I don't know how you get A, the skill, and B, the balls to borrow someone's car. No, that was his car. Well, no, that was his, but he does it with it. Right, right, right. Every car. Yeah. To borrow someone's car and then huck it backwards into a fucking corner of Wales.

I say, governor, you don't mind if I take your car? Well, did you hear about this poor fucking auto journalist who was driving a Porsche 917 race car and blew the gearbox? Who was it? I can't remember the guy's name. It was a journalist who was driving a million-dollar Porsche. Wow. Blew the gearbox.

How did he do it? Is it his fault? Apparently he missed a shift, is what I hear. That's all it takes? What a piece of shit. Where's Ralph Nader? Exactly. This fucking thing's a piece of shit.

It's going to blow up like a pinto. The fucking owner of the car sued the guy into bankruptcy. I mean, literally sued the guy into bankruptcy. The poor guy. That's the kind of shit I'm reading and going, and the audience is like, you didn't fucking drift it, you fucking pussy. Someone's going to sue me out of business if I do that. Did you ever see the video of Eddie Griffin crashing an Enzo?

Oh, yeah. No. He crashes an Enzo into this cement barrier. Undercover brother can't drive. Yeah. Yeah. It was horrific. Remember when that bottle was full?

Yeah. Yeah. This whiskey used to be in that bottle. This whiskey is fantastic. Yeah. Todd's a whiskey fan. Call a cab, son. That's what I recommend.

At the risk of sounding needy, is there a scheduled pee break at some point? Oh, yeah, anytime you want to. Here it is. Oh, Jesus. Watch this again. By the way, for folks who don't know what we're looking at, this is a million-dollar car.

Legitimately. Eddie Griffin is wrecking. Legitimately a million-dollar car. And a beautiful car. And if I recall, it was undering. Legitimately a million dollar car. And a beautiful car. And if I recall, it was understeer. Understeer into a wall. Oh, complete understeer. Oh, wow. Oh, no! Look at how nasty it was in the video.

It is a total, complete, catastrophic loss to control the car. It's like you want to grab your balls when that happens because that hurts so much. I think it was totaled. It was, but as is the case with other million dollar cars, it's never really totaled. It's a Ferrari. A guy actually bought that car. At Salvage.

At Salvage. Bought the body. You ever see the P45 Jim Glickenhaus's? He re-bodied an Enzo P45? No. Check it out. Look up the P4 slash 5. So he got the original body from that when he re-bodied it.

It's like an encyclopedia. He took that wrecked Enzo, put twin turbos on it, and then they went and ran Bonneville with it. I think it did like 230 or two something at Bonneville. So- With dog dish fucking wheels on it and shit. Like a Bonneville Enzo from that wrecked mess. So how did that go? Did the insurance cover it? Did the guy sell the body of it? Well, they wrecked so many cars during...

That's the P45 right there. That's what $5 million gets you. Oh my God. That's insane looking. Yeah. Who makes that? That's a fair deal. This is a guy named Jim Glickenhaus who's from the town where I grew up who has lots of money and likes vintage race cars and had Pininfarina re-body his Enzo. The design was by Jason Castriota, who designed the Ferrari 599 Maserati Gran Turismo. That guy's got an eye. He designed this at 23 years old, dude, the guy designed this. That is the most super dick-looking car in the history of the world. It's a game over.

It's a complete game over, one-of one of a kind Ferrari that is ridiculous looking. It's wild looking. It is. It's really cool. Like it's kind of NSX-y like with the hood. Yeah. And then, you know, like it reminds you of like a lot of different cars. It's so extreme.

It's a lot of cues from vintage, like late 60s Ferrari race cars. Yeah. Ferrari is a completely different statement. That's the super baller statement. It's so funny, though. If they had to build a— They're on another planet, those guys. Yeah. You know, my day gig, I rent exotic cars.

My company is called Gotham Dream Cars. Really? Yeah. What kind of cars do you get in? We have Ferraris, Lambars. You get Ferraris? Yeah, we rent Ferraris. Do you ever get manuals?

Ferraris with a stick? See, in the history of our company, we've had 97 cars. Seven of them have been manual transmissions. All seven have been totaled compared to one out of 90 of the others. So, no, we don't buy stick cars anymore. That's hilarious. God, people are silly. It starts with a, hey, man, watch this, and ends up smashing into some kind of stationary object.

It ends up like that Ferrari. Yeah, I remember. There's a Gotham Dream Cars website. There was a story. I don't remember. It was Beverly Hills. I feel like it was Beverly Hills. Somebody parked their car at a valet.

It was a Ferrari. It was a 458, I think. And some valet guy decided to take it sideways around a corner and smash right into a parked car and bent it in half. That's fucking great. I mean, what those things are is so alien to a person who hasn't driven them. A normal person cannot comprehend how fast a car like that is. They're time machines. Yeah.

I remember the first car that I realized was that 996 Turbo. Those were real. They were really fast. Very fast car and really weird. The four-wheel drive was weird. It just would grip the ground. You could feel the power shifting around. I didn't know that was four.

Yeah, they started it with a 993. The 993, the last of the air-cooled cars, the Turbo was a four-wheel drive car. Do you know what those cars are going for right now? A lot, right? Fucking 993 Turbos are $100,000. 993 turbo S's are $300,000. No! The 993 turbo S was

so sweet with the little vents on the side, the back wheels. Seinfeld's got one, baby blue. It's fucking ball. He has every badass Porsche. He has the 73 GT3 RS. He has everything. I've been in his garage. He has everything. That's a lot of good money.

That's called Seinfeld money. That's Seinfeld money right there. He's got the Gemund Porsche, which is the oldest known original unrestored Porsche in existence. The VIN number was 8. Oh my god. He's not going to restore it, is he?

No. He drives those. Like that 73 RS, correct me going to restore it, is he? No. He drives those. Like that 73 RS, correct me if I'm wrong, is worth a stupid amount of money, isn't it? 300 to 400 probably. He drives that on the street. He just takes it out. He's got insurance. Well, that guy Glickenhaus, who's got the P45 that I showed you,

he has a 68 GT40 that ran at Sebring that he converted to a street car and has 40,000 street miles on it. Good for him. And he's got a Lola that he's got street miles on. That makes sense. He's nuts. He's great.

I love guys like that. Yeah. They use their car. A guy bought a Le Mans prototype and put air conditioning in it and called it a street car. And he's got 50,000 street miles on it. That's badass. That's cool. That's the right way to roll. It's it a street car. And he's got 50,000 street miles on it. That's badass. That's cool. That's the right way to roll.

It's not a hot wheel. He's having a ride every day. Everywhere he goes, he's on a ride. It's not as simple as he's- Always an adventure. Yeah. And here I am in my fucking Volt, which is like a sensory deprivation chamber, which everyone else said I had to talk to you about those.

Volts are super quiet, right? They're silent. It's just dead silent. Volts are genius, though. Electricity. The thing about electric cars is you have all power like that. There's no power curve. It's on or it's off.

Right, yeah. I've driven golf carts, so I'd imagine just like, yeah, it's right through there and to the right. I would imagine it'd be like a super powerful golf cart. They're unbelievably fast. Yeah, they don't have like a super powerful golf cart. They're unbelievably fast. Yeah, they don't have like a gear to go through. It's just one gear. Yep. I've seen that with the Teslas. Yep.

I've never, we saw that one Tesla S that our friend from the show had. They're beautiful. Yeah, they're amazing. Yeah, and the guy who was here who drove it entirely around the country. Right. He hit every single point around the country. The border. Yeah.

And our other friend in D.C. that had one, too. But I've seen the old one or the sports car one, the small one. Right, the Roadster, yeah. Yeah, that's just a D. It's just like R and D. Right. And P, I guess. It's fast as hell.

It's like a Lotus with electricity. Yeah, it's a weird thing. Like the go-fast electric thing. Like, whoop! It's like a Lotus with electricity. Yeah, it's a weird thing. Like the go fast electric thing. Like whoop. It's just whoop. It doesn't like, you know, you're used to your car like ramping up. Like brrrr, brrrr. It's that natural progression thing that we've become accustomed to.

And also these electrical engines, they go, oh, you don't have to do that. One gear is good. It's weird. You're like, what do you mean one gear is good? How can one gear be good? We're electric. We've got a totally different thing we're doing. It's like a complete transformation because, yeah, you have the feel, the touch, the electromechanic

ability to go through one, two, three, four, five, six. Yeah. And now it's just on or it's off. Well, yeah, that's the thing that people really appreciate about the older cars. Like Bill Burr was here once and he had this, God, I don't want to say the year, but I think it was a 50s pickup truck. They're beautiful. Bill was so proud of this car.

I mean, Bill's an ace of a guy. He's a really hilarious stand-up comedian and a cool guy, and he likes, like, interesting shit. Bill Burr. Fucking dude. One of the other greatest takedowns I've ever heard. Him versus fucking Philadelphia. Oh, yeah, that was awesome.

Oh, God. Did he have a shifter on the floor? Yeah. No, no, no. I believe the shifter was on the tree. Wait, what is he driving, Bill Burr? Bill Burr, I don't know the make or the year. It's a really old pickup truck that he actually drives around.

Really? Yeah, he was so proud of it. He brought it to the Ice House last time we did a podcast together, and he pulls up in this thing. It's got the old brakes, old suspension, old everything. It's got to be so sketch. Oh, it's sketchy as fuck. Well, I think he's just slow and steady, wins the race.

Does he live out here? Yeah, yeah. Oh, really? He just loves the fact that he's driving this thing. He loves the fact that he's in this really ancient piece of history. If you want to be environmentally friendly, keeping a car like that on the road

is way more efficient than buying a fucking Prius or whatever. Don't participate in the new car experience at all. Don't talk to me like that, fucking Todd. I'm not here to be an environmentalist. I bought a Volt for very selfish reasons. To save my own ass money.

I own two Priuses. I own two Priuses, so I'm not being holier than thou. Does it let you get in the car lane or anything? The carpool lane? Yeah, I get carpooling by myself. Solo. That's enough reason. That's reason enough.

The Prius doesn't do that because it's a hybrid. But a Tesla does do that. Tesla, Volt. If I had more money, I would have bought a Tesla. The ugliest car on the planet, the Leaf, will do that. That thing is heinous. So all the electrical... It's really hilarious when a Prius owner is shit on the way another car looks.

That's when you know you're drunk. Seriously. That's when you know you're drunk. The Priuses are the most simple form ever for a car. Dog meat. But you know why? Don't worry about what it looks like. The Volt is better looking.

No, you know why the Prius is shaped that way? It is. The Prius. I agree with you. You know why the Prius is shaped that way. Why is it shaped that way, Todd? Drag coefficient. All right, how about this, motherfucker?

You want to fucking talk drag coefficient? Do you know what the drag coefficient of a Prius is? No. It's.26. Okay. Do you know what else has a drag coefficient of.26? Corvette Stingray. A Mercedes E63 AMG has a drag coefficient of.26.

Yeah, but what's that? One of those cars is good looking. For the folks that live in New York City, is that a faster car? Like, what is that? It's 570 horsepower. Hey, Matt, what's the price differential? Several dollars. Yeah, you're right. But I drove a diesel Mercedes,

an E350 diesel. Yeah, they're good cars. I drove from Mexico to Oregon on one tank of fuel. Mercedes are brilliant. I'm not talking about the car and the engineering and the looks. I'm saying it's attractive and slippery, whereas your car is unattractive and slippery. It is. And my Corvette also is attractive and slippery. And it's cheap and it works.

Why slippery? Slippery through the air. Low drag coefficient. Oh, okay. I also wax it in KY. I thought you were doing things with it. It's lube. But guess what?

This is where engineering genius. I have a 2003 Prius. My daughter drives it. It's got 190,000 miles on it. Original battery? Original everything, dude. And it still gets like 40 miles a gallon if somebody else drives it. Not you. I get like 30.

You're 100 miles an hour in a Prius guy. Yeah, I get 30. I fucking hate those people. Well, I've seen... 100 miles an hour in a Prius guy. A buddy of mine goes, hey, these things are fast. I said, yes, they are. Oh, you both should be stopped. What? Those are not fast.

Those are not fast by any stretch of the imagination. For a Prius, 100 miles an hour? Remember how we were talking about how it feels? Yeah, like it's going to fall apart. Yes, exactly right. The Volt doesn't feel like that. The Volt feels solid. He's a Volt fan.

Did you ever see the episode of Top Gear where they went around the track with an M3 and a Prius? Yeah. And all the M3 had to do was keep up with the Prius. Right. The Prius goes as fast as it can. The M3 keeps up with it. The M3 got better gas mileage. Yeah.

I believe that. It's hilarious. My Corvette, 500 horsepower. I get 35 miles an hour on the highway in that car. That's amazing. That's fucking great. Low drag coefficient. And in sixth gear at 80, I'm turning 1,300 RPM.

Wow. This is super gear head radio. It's really not geeky. Here we are. We are geeking out on cars, man. No, you say it's not geeky. To the average person who's not a car geek, it's extremely geeky. Whatever.

I've listened to your show, and you talk about MMA, and that's fucking geeky to me. No, it's nothing wrong with it. Hey, this is nothing. Listen, I'm not saying we should stop doing what we're doing. He's not dissing it. He's just calling it out. I'm saying what it is is what it is. We're dorks.

We're dorks. Let's just face it. We should do that. I own it. There's nothing wrong with being a're doing. He's not dissing it. He's just calling it out. I'm saying what it is is what it is. We're dorks. We're dorks. Let's just face it. You should do that. I own it. There's nothing wrong with being a dork. Own, own, own it. It's nothing wrong with being a dork, but we're car dorks. It's a fact.

That's how it happens. Hear, hear. It's a fact. There's nothing wrong with it. Do you think you have the perfect car? Is your car perfect for your life? Is this cool, by the way? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fire up. I like older cars uh there's something i like about older cars it's very different than um than newer cars i like the feeling of them i like this this idea that this thing came from a different era they have a there's a like a different air to drive the older cars have a permanence about them the new cars don't have i mean i fucking touch a new car and when you can press uh body panel, it's flexing. You're like, this shit isn't going to be here in fucking 50 years. Well, there's also, it exists in a lot of ways with music as well.

There's an era of cars that I really like, and that era is the same where I like the music. It's the 60s and the 70s, and I don't know what it is. I don't know what- Is your music taste not stretching into the 90s? Oh, it stretches. It stretches deep into the 2000s. I mean, I'm a big fan of the Black Keys.

I like a lot. I like all kinds of shit. People, you know, people, like, play me good things all the time, and I get into new things. I mean, I don't have, like, a rigid sense. But if I'm alone, like, I'm in my car, like, I will throw on Voodoo Child. You know? And I'll

crank that shit to this day. I've heard that song a billion times. I have a really hard time with classic rock because it never fucking changes. You know what I'm saying? It doesn't. Like classic rock is always the same. It's the same problem I have with like Nevermind. You know, Nevermind is one of the greatest songs ever made, but it's the same 13 songs

fucking, you know, from now until forever. You have to be completely in the mood for it. But at a certain point in time, there becomes like almost an oversaturation point where there's so much music out there. Yeah. There's so much music that it's like, it doesn't, you don't even, you almost don't even have to change decades. Did you, did you see Sound City, Dave Grohl's documentary about the Sound City Studios, which is

actually not far at all from here. Jesse, you like it? No, I never saw that. It's dope. It's a little bit self-serving, but also totally dope. I was an audio engineer in school, so it served me a little bit as well. Isn't just the analogness of it awesome? It was awesome that he wanted to take the

whole board out of there. Just to save it, because of all the stuff that was made on it. That's like a lot of the fucking old cars that are worth shaving. I think that's why a lot of people love vinyl. Some people love vinyl records. They love hearing the scratchings

and the pops of the needle going over the black plastic or whatever the fuck that shit's made out of. Have you ever driven a manual transmission Ferrari? No. That's it. It's that. Really?

It's the vinyl record imperfections that make it great. They're hard to find. They are very hard to find, but if you meet someone that has one, do yourself a favor and try and drive it because the satisfaction of still towing a fucking manual transmission Ferrari is so wonderful that you're like, why the fuck, even if paddles are half a second faster on the track, why would you want that? Right. Because it's that click, click of the gated shifter, and that's just such a wonderful analog operation. Like a watch or something.

Yeah, yeah. like a watch or something. It's got this, which is why I think the Ford GT is the most collectible supercar of modern times because it has certain things that technology can't make outdated. That's the problem. You think about a Ferrari 360, right? A 10-year-old Ferrari, that thing is a pile of shit if you drive one today. It shifts like, you know, because the technology is moving as fast as computer technology is.

Whereas something that is analog will be analog forever. So the Ford GT, right, think about this, supercharged truck engine, right, way overbuilt, right? Aluminum chassis, manual transmission, no traction control, no stability control, a transmission that can handle three times its horsepower, and aerodynamics that can handle 60 to 70 miles an hour beyond its original top speed. That car has the makings for the perfect storm of collector car awesome, which is why the Ford GT, the Ferrari Enzo, and the McLaren F1 are the only collector cars to have actually appreciated that were built in the last 15 or so years.

It's the perfect storm of collectability because it will be what it is. Yeah, the modern Ford GT. Because it will be what it is forever. A Ferrari 360 was awesome in 2003. Now you drive and you go, holy shit, this thing's a fucking dinosaur. But a 4GT will always be that. Your GT3 RS will never feel old because it shifts as fast as you can shift it. Right.

You know? Cars that have that analog feel to them have a permanence about them that the latest technology, oh, this shifts in 80 milliseconds and this one shifts in 50 milliseconds and I have 8-mode traction control and I have 12-mode traction control. That shit gets, you know, that's your 133 megahertz Pentium processor right there. You know, that shit's worthless in 50 years, but a stick car will always be a stick car. I think it's sad that they...

So you got to ship it on fucking Top Gear, Todd. Inside Joe Caruni. I think it's sad that they're stopping making them, but I think it's awesome that American cars have picked up where they've dropped the ball. Think about that. The Viper, the Vette, they're sticking with it. All these new American cars have picked up where they've dropped the ball. Dude, think about that. The Viper, the Vette, the Compeezer, they're sticking with it. All these new American cars have manual transmissions,

and it makes me want to get one. I just got rid of my Shelby. You got rid of it? Yeah, I had a GT500. I'm scared of the convertible. What year did you have it? The convertible scared me. Because the chassis was made of Legos?

Yeah. Was that why? It was 2011. The old Shelby had the roll bar. Yeah, this one, there's no roll bar. That 2011 was the best year of the Shelby. It was a great car. The newer one is worse. Have you driven the new one? It's so fast.

It's so crazy. It's not good. Too much. Too much power. Way too much power. It's so crazy. They went 640. What did they go to? They say 662, but it's putting down like 630 at the wheels of the dyno. Oh my god, that's insane. So what is that at the crank? That.30 at the wheels. Oh, my God. That's insane.

So what is that at the crank? That's way more than that. 6.80, 6.90. Oh, my Jesus Christ. Here's the problem. Oh, my God. So crazy. Even within Ford, you got a car like the Boss, the Boss Mustang, which is the best Mustang you can buy.

That's such a great bargain. Where they say they gave them an M3, and they go, take this Mustang and make it better than this M3. And they actually did that. Really? In terms of dynamically, yes. Not in terms of like the leather and shit. But the way it handles, the way it moves, really? They're that nice?

Yeah. Wow. Why don't they get any love? They get a lot of love, man. Yeah, but only from you dorks. You automotive magazine YouTube dorks. Who do you think? They sell as many of those as they can make. I don't hear that from people that it's that good of a car.

Because girls won't blow you because you're driving one. Whereas you can buy a 328 on rims and get a fucking Hummer out of that easy. It's such a different time than when I grew up. Yeah, there's no status to a boss. There's a status to a BMW. The boss Mustang doesn't convey enough street cred or not enough bling bling. To nerds like me? Yeah, it does, but not to regular people.

That's interesting. But then they have the Shelby, which is Carroll Shelby going right before his, basically on his fucking deathbed going, now listen here, boys, I want to see me as Shelby before I die. It does zero to 60 in three and a half seconds. I want that Shelby Mustang to go 200 mile an hour, and I want that motherfucker to have 600 horsepower, and it better be the fastest guy.

I want all them magazine covers. I want the fucking magazine cover. I want all them car and driver boys sucking my cock. Is that really what he said? You don't want to put words in his mouth. That's what he got, dude. Matt was there. That's what he got, dude. Matt was there. That's what he got.

He got every magazine cover. He got fucking, holy shit, it does 200. But what he didn't build is the best driving Mustang he could buy. Right. So the best driver is the much lighter. It was about 440 horsepower. Or the Shelby that you have, actually. It's too much.

It's too crazy. In a coupe, it's okay. In a convertible, it's scary. Were you worried about flipping it? Yeah, it didn't seem very stable. It was too much. It was too crazy. In a coupe, it's okay. In a convertible, it's scary. Were you worried about flipping it? Yeah, it didn't seem very stable. It was too easy to spin. It was a really fun car. Really fun. So I just say that...

Also, one of the reasons why I got it is I wanted to buy a car from a company that didn't take a check from the government. I feel you. That's interesting. I bought a Raptor. You've seen it. Yeah, I like that Ford did that. I was like, good feel you. That's interesting. I bought a Raptor. I liked that Ford did that. I liked that Ford did that. I was like, good for you. You're making enough cool shit that people want to buy. It's a fun-ass fucking car. But the whole convertible thing, you start thinking, hmm, shouldn't there be

something up here? This is kind of delicate. I would feel better. This is all kind of delicate. The biggest problem with the Shelby brand is that their customers don't... It's a great five-tenths car. You know, you cruise around in it, you make some noise, you do a pull here and there. It's all about looks, those cars.

But you take one to a track and you're like, I don't know about this. Yeah. What it is, it's a muscle car. It's a fun muscle car where you can choose to break the wheels loose a little bit. You choose to have a little fun. It's got an amazing car where you can choose to break the wheels loose a little bit. You can choose to have a little fun. It's got an amazing sound to it. The sound's incredible. Does yours have a stock exhaust?

The stock exhaust is fucking perfect. They tune those things. They design them. They dial it in for optimum sound. I've been to Ford's Proving Grounds out at Romeo. Before they come out with that car, they have a guy. One of the best jobs, you take my job, which is a good job, and then there's, you know, pre-production tester, right, which sounds like a dope job.

This fucking one poor sap is out at the Romeo Proving Grounds and has to do 500 consecutive full-bore drag launches on the clutch. Oh, my God. So this guy, all he does for, like days over it will drag launch after drag launch. They can't get a machine to do that? That seems ridiculous. I think that's pretty badass, though. I mean, he literally drives the same 50 feet of tarmac over and over for fucking days.

I do not want to fuck with that guy in a red light contest. Oh, my God. That guy knows that. He would crush you. That guy is such a professional. His launch skills must be just ruthless. Nasty. He sets the fucking time, man.

Alone, though. He's nasty. Nobody knows. It's like a tree falling in the woods. Nobody's there to hear it. You ever get in a street race with people? People roll up to you? They don't do it?

No, I'm not stupid. I wouldn't do that. Do you worry that things like this that you're talking about, like the visceral experience of driving a car, are being missed by a lot of people and that like the manual transmission will die off i'm really happy that like that the camaro still have it the mustang still have it the corvette still have the viper still has it but i'm really sad when you see uh you go you get into like a porsche and their only button is a drive button you get like like, oh, okay, I can either shift with this or I can shift with these things and just press one foot, just one foot.

Okay, well, I'm not as involved. I would like to be involved. The good news is at the cheap level. Either you do all of it or let me do all of it. Well, the shifting thing, the problem with taking it out of the mix is I don't need it to go that fast. Right. Like it's go that fast like it's already going fast right like it doesn't need to go 1 1 hundredth of a second

faster because you can shift the gears for me I would like to do that please right tube dude yeah this one went around the Nurburgring four seconds faster than the other one right you know that difference though but but is it a big marketing thing you and I say who cares because we're fucking normal, man. Right. You know, people who buy these fucking cars, dude, they can't fucking drive. Right. It's true. I'm serious, they can't.

Some of them can't. Some of them certainly can't. And the other issue is it's what is really fun. And with a lot of these cars, it's not nearly as fun, and you have to drive faster to make it more fun. Yeah. Right. Because there's not that as fun, and you have to drive faster to make it more fun. Yeah. Right. Because there's not that visceral connection to the driving experience. Sure.

Like your Prius. Exactly. I like having that mechanical connection. The clutch pedal makes a difference to me. Well, it's a fun experience. And I think, like we said earlier, you're liking it to a ride, because that's really what it's like. Yep.

And then when you're seeing a guy like Chris Harris going around a corner, to me, that's not much different than a skateboarder that does awesome tricks. I'm seeing some dudes just letting it hang out there. Who's awesome at it. He's awesome at it. Tanner Fowles driving a GT2 RS. It's hard not to get jealous when people talk all day. It's like, oh, you fucking

suck compared to Chris Harris. I'm sorry if I'm not insane and in a foreign country. That's not your thing. I'm sorry if I'm not insane and in a foreign country. That's not your thing. Your thing is, I'm a regular guy, and here's what it's like to drive these ridiculous, stupid cars. I pull the kid in the candy store angle. When you're British, then

you're expected to drive sports cars and be the most and steal our women. You're much smarter right away. You're clearly more likely to be a representative of a company. 30 IQ points, yeah. You would be a better commercial spokesperson for a bank. You have a British accent.

Hotter if you're a chick. Yeah, there's something extra there. Or a dude. Every time I go out with my British friends, I'm like, you fucks are all cheating. You're not smart. You don't have anything to offer but hello, love, and that's it. It's right away.

Yeah, everybody's excited about them. It's something different than their parents. Is it because we're a colony, a former colony? My British friend has a fucking cliff palate. He pulls hoes like crazy. It's unbelievable. It's being something different than their parents. You're something exotic.

You're something mysterious. The furthest she can break away from her dad is to fuck you. That's it. Other than a black eye, you're the second less dangerous. You're like right next door. If you have a British accent. That's a good neighborhood to live in. Have you ever gotten laid because of a car?

No. Not me either. No. I get asked every day, what car do I use to get chicks? I'm like, you better change your fucking angle, homie. Yeah, you better develop your life, son. My cars get me unwanted teenage boy attention pretty much. Yeah, well, cars that we like are like, I pulled up, I saw your Corvette.

You have this custom Corvette. It looks like it's early 2000s maybe. It's 98. I bought it new in 98. Wow. It's done up racing seats and fat tires on it. And you change the headlights so they don't pop up anymore. And for me, I look at something and I go, ooh, that'd be fun to drive.

You should try it. You'd like it, actually. Oh, yeah. It's 2,900 pounds. It's 500 horsepower. Oh, my god. It has coilovers and 14-inch brakes and very sticky tires. It must be ridiculous. It's so fun.

But to a chick, they'd be like, what is this? You want me to get in that? It's a red car. I picked up a chick once in that car at a bar. And we went out of the bar. Does this sound badly? No, it ends well, actually. She gets in the car, and I assume you've been in a Corvette at least once in your life.

Yeah, sure. Well, it says Corvette across the dashboard. Right. Right across the passenger compartment. She gets in the car, looks around. I'm putting the harnesses on her because it's got five-point harnesses. And she goes, oh, my God, I can't believe you drive a Ferrari. And I'm just like, yeah, man, you know, the maintenance is really a bitch.

Was that a good sign, though, for the rest of the night? Yeah. I converted. If you wanted to make a really stupid kid. Yeah, I was able to convert that one. Yeah, because intelligence comes from the mom, yeah. Thankfully. Does it?

Do they know that for sure? I don't know. That's probably one of the – How dare they? How dare they try to pretend they've got that narrowed down? We should pursue that on Questions Everything. I think that's an old wives tale. That's true.

Why don't you question that shit? Intelligence varies inside the family. I mean, who the hell knows who's getting the good dose of what? It's all chance for now. What the factors are. Until they dial that shit in. Yeah, intelligence varies inside of a family. We've all seen the dudes whose brother is wicked smart and your friend's dumb.

You're like, what the fuck, man? Why is your brother so smart? I can't cheat off of you. And you're just stupid as shit. I know people who got the crap, for sure. Yeah, it varies, man. I hope I didn't get the crap. I don't know.

How many brothers and sisters? The key to life is don't worry about it. Can I plug my sister real quick? Actually, my sister's like me, but for cosmetics. Are you plugging cosmetics? She's like the fucking guru of cosmetics. Alexis Farah at DailyGlow.com. There you go.

I'm done now. DailyGlow.com. My sister's cosmetics thing. We do get girls that listen to this, and they would want to support. It's nice to throw a toss to your sister. Hey, man. That's cool. Nothing wrong with that. No, it's cool. Nothing wrong with that.

I'm admiring that. What percentage female listeners are you really? Probably less than one. Those girls are all angry lesbians. The ones that I have, they're all lesbians. It'll punch you. Are they looking to hate you? No, I'm just kidding. There's a lot of girls that are listening to this.

My ex does derby. The angry lesbians probably know her. I think for some girls, they love hearing what guys really think. Yeah. They don't get a chance to hear. Masochistic ones. But not even masochistic. I'm not sadistic or masochistic. I'm a nice guy.

It's just unfiltered. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's also being a male, an honest male. Right. As opposed to this weird situation where a lot of us find ourselves in, where we have to work corporate jobs, where we are really forced to behave a completely

different way, contrary to nature, for eight hours a day. Alan Alda. It's not your fault. That kind of life can beat you. How do you take it? Take what? Do you turn into corporate Joe Rogan well if you have to?

What does that even mean? I don't even know what that means. Well, because when you do your fucking live reads and shit, it seems like you're intentionally kind of rolling your eyes. No, no, with this, on this. Oh, with that stuff. No, no. You have to be corporate.

But that's not corporate. What those are to me is shit that I would use and companies that are nice. And they don't give me a hard time about the way I do the commercials all fucked up. So what's your most corporate fear factor? That was probably the most corporate thing that I ever had to do. I guess you would call that corporate.

It was without a doubt the most censored. Mainstream. Did you try and get not sneak material, but was there a lot of interactions that happened on Fear Factor that got hacked out

later because of content or whatever? There's so much time. That's the thing we're running into with this Questions Everything show too. There's so much time that gets chopped down to 44 minutes. That's what it is with commercials. There was a lot of cool moments on Fear Factor

that I'm sure got left on the editing floor too. four minutes. That's what it is with commercials. And there was a lot of cool moments, you know, on Fairfactor, like, that I'm sure got left on the editing floor too. Like, you know, people getting through things where you couldn't show the whole thing.

There's a, that, this, it was a stupid show in a lot of ways, but there was some like, really to this day, some crazy,

inspirational moments. There's this one show where this mother and daughter team beat this dou where this mother and daughter team beat this douchey dad and son team. And the dad and son team were, I shouldn't say douchey, they were just being men. And they were being men who were competing,

and they were a little cunty, which is what people do when they're trying to win a competition. They tend to talk shit. And there's cameras everywhere. Especially men. Men are terrible at that shit. And so these guys, everybody assumed, because it was a very physical stunt, everybody assumed that the father and son

were going to win because they had a physical advantage. But they fucked up. And when they fucked up, they fucked up hard. It was a big fuck up. And the son fucked up and the dad fucked up. They both fucked up. It was a big deal wow and then this chick and her daughter they they won and started crying and the whole like the the

cameraman were crying i was crying is there an audience everybody was crying no no there was the people that were working so it was just a straight up in studio on no no it wasn't even in studio it was on location it was over a dock near the studio on set cry. No, no, no. It wasn't even in studio. It was on location. On location cry. It was over a dock near the ocean. That's pure. Yeah. The cameraman were crying. The producers were crying.

That's a real reaction. That's not studio enhanced. Yeah. So it was a lot of stupid shit. But I saw stuff like that too. But you know, that show was honest. It wasn't pretending to be anything. It wasn't.

So I love that show because it was like, hey, you're going to do some crazy shit. You might eat some crazy shit. And we're all having fun. And somebody's going to win some money. Okay? Well, you know, the people that worked on that show were the nicest fucking humans that have ever lived. Yeah. They were so nice.

Like, the behind-the-scenes people, everybody's so nice. I was like, you guys have produced that show. That show was cool because it wasn't fake. Yeah. I had a fucking shit experience on TV last time and it was because it was the fakest fucking shit. You could imagine. Was it Speed?

Yeah, yeah. Speed was horrible. I don't even, I'll probably never get hired again. How about Dan Neal though? I love Dan Neal and I love John Sally. Did you ever read Dan Neal? What is that? He was an automotive writer for the LA Times. And now with the Wall Street Journal. First guy to win a

Pulitzer. He wrote about cars? Hilarious. Genius writer. Hilarious, weird guy. He left LA to go to the Wall Street Journal. And he's super, he's from North Carolina, but he's super like... I put him on TV for the first time, you know. High society type kind of... Did you use Ticket to Ride? He's hilarious. No.

Wired Science science I did a show for PBS a pilot wired magazine a weekly it was designed to be a weekly 60 minutes of science it was you know one of those great disappointments that it didn't work words but Dan was fantastic huge fucking words he's a smart motherfucker and he was hilarious but I

didn't use him for cars we dove this underwater habitat that the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration has 60 feet beneath the surface of the ocean off of Key Largo. It was so cool. Every time I get a chance, I put him on our podcast because he always comes up with fucking gold. You feed him one or two beverages, he is the fucking greatest. Yeah, you would like him. He was hilarious.

And John Sally, who was the greatest. There's a lot of characters in the world of journalism. That's for sure. And that's one of the cool things about car journalism today is that you're getting these characters that are leaking over into car journalism as well. I don't think they were there for a long time. I fell into it.

People ask me every day how I got my job. It was the craziest series of accidents. It was the craziest series of accidents. It was like when I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to do something with cars. I was obsessed with it. But I was like, nobody makes any money doing that shit. I tried to become a photographer. Didn't work out.

Tried to do graphic design. Didn't work out. And it was like I found the job opening at an exotic car rental company. And I left that and opened a car wash like anything i could do to be around cars and i started a driving club and i was like i thought as an added bonus to our members we should probably make videos of the drives we went on they would like these are ego people right so i hired this kid out of college who was like crazy because he would hang out on my vet at like 150 miles an hour. Oh, Jesus.

So we hired him. We started making these videos. After the third or fourth video, the guy came, he came home with a microphone, like a news anchor microphone. He was like, here, host the video. And I hosted the video. Not one week later, a guy called me and goes, do you want a job? And it was like, it was a matter of, he brought the microphone home, I did one video.

And I was a car journalist the next fucking week. That's hilarious. Was that a meal? So when people ask me all the time, like, how do I get your job? Like, the answer is just like, be me, and then I don't know what the fuck else to tell you. So you just sort of, the doors just opened for you. The floodgate opened immediately and out of nowhere. It's a cool gig, man.

It's a cool gig because there's always going to be someone who, like car guys, love to watch videos on cars. I like even cars I know I'm never going to buy. Right. I'm not even considering. Yeah. I love just watching. You're just curious. Yeah.

I love the designs of them. I love the whole idea of the changing of the engines and they lowered this and moved that and moved the engine forward. I love the improvements on things. I think I'm fascinated by it. When we make films, it's not just about the car. I mean, everyone on my crew and, like, I wouldn't be anywhere without the very five Tom, Zach, Thad, Nino, you know, fucking, yeah. I wouldn't be anywhere without those people who actually make the films look pretty. Right.

And everyone has a background in photography or video. You can tell. It's all really well shot. And we really take pride in that. And, like, even though it's, like, dumb YouTube videos, like, we videos, we shoot with $100,000 worth of camera gear. Well, it's not a dumb YouTube video. There's no dumb YouTube videos once they get into the thousands and thousands of views. Essentially, it's just a show that's distributed in a different way. It's all it is.

We make it like TV. Yeah, I think the distinction is kind of silly at this point because the merging of technology, the merging of television and the internet is so inevitable that a show's a show. And if you pull it off on the internet and it's really cool, good for you. If you pull it off on TV and it's really cool, good for you. It's just a show. But the internet's still enough of the Wild West that we're happy. You know what I mean?

I don't have to answer to some fuck in a suit. That's why it's good. Who thinks he knows more than me about how to make a car video. That's why it's good. It fucking pisses me off. It should. I never want to listen to anyone tell me how to make a car video. Fuck you.

It should piss you off. You know why? Because you're an interesting guy and nobody knows how to tell you to be you. You're a fun guy. And people want to hear you talk about a car. It's a fun thing to see you running through the gear like that that video that Porsche video that BBI

Porsche video watch that at least four times I made 12 cents off that thanks Joe this on Joe this BBI cat what's his name was his Joe Joey yeah Joey Sealy one of the co-owners of BBI Autosport. I'm just going to keep doing this. Yeah, yeah, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. He takes this 1985 Porsche, and he turns it into this insane car. He cuts out everything. There's no floorboard. I mean, there's no mats, floor mats, no sound insulation, no carpet. Wow.

It's got like this. Stripped. Yeah, this like little aluminum shifter. There's no radio, no air conditioning. You know on it wow chassis isn't that crazy it's amazing and it's rocked that the galvanized porsche bodies from the 80s and 90s like like it's good metal like todd's porsche it's gonna last forever wow you know i believe it and you have to let me take you down there i gotta i gotta take you down there you gotta drive a couple take you down there, and you've got to drive a couple of their cars, because they build the craziest shit.

Yeah, I've seen a couple of your videos on it. The one with the 997 Turbo S. Yeah, around a 10.0 quarter mile. They took a 997 Turbo S, and they were like, hmm, not fast enough. Let's jack it up to more than 600 horsepower. So that guy who has that 997, is this the video? Yeah, that's the video. There's the video right there.

So this guy, the guy who owns this car, his name is Eric. He's great. That car is terrifying. Wow. He has about 40,000 miles in this car. It's his daily driver. Damn. And it's dual clutch, right?

Right. So it's got launch control. Right. He launches this car every single day, he tells me. That's a sweet shot. Every single day he's owned the control right he launches this car every single day that's a sweet shot every single day he's owned the car he launches the fucking car i launched it 10 times in a row wow no problems pdk is the nastiest dual clutch transmission you can beat the fucking hell out of the car they'll take it yeah do you remember when the nissan gtrs first came out and everybody was launch controlling them. Blowing trees.

You would hear, well, if you did it once, you avoid your warranty. You're like, well, why is it there? You advertise this shit. Why put it on the car? How many times were you allowed to do it? None. None? Never.

No, none. Zero? No, forget not even use the launch control. If you put it in launch control mode. And never launched it, you're done. That is so funny. Yeah. That is so funny.

You violate your warranty. I've personally avoided someone's warranty doing that, actually. Really? I personally avoided someone's warranty. On purpose? On purpose, but I did. Oh, yeah. We took a Nissan GTR to the drag strip, and we rented one of those ZHZ Corvettes from Hertz, the yellow and black ones.

And we put a fucking 200-shot dry fogger on it. We sprayed the rental car. I remember. I watched that. Yeah, the Corvette on nitrous video. For people who don't know what the fuck he just said, nitrous oxide is a type of stimulant to an automobile. How would you describe it? Yeah. For people who don't know what nitrous does. on a rental Corvette. Is a type of stimulant to an automobile. How would you describe it? And, yeah.

People don't know what nitrous does. It makes the air that goes into the car very, very cold. And if it runs cold, it means it makes more power. So you can make a bunch more power

basically by hitting a button and spraying this gas, which makes you... Is that dangerous for your engine? It's like speed dust. Yes and no. Yes and no. I mean, no until it is. You know what I mean?? It's like speed dust. Yes and no. Yes and no.

I mean, no until it is. You know what I mean? That's a great way to describe it. You know what I mean? Right. Is it dangerous to have sex with someone with AIDS? No until it is. Wow.

I would say yes every time. I don't know how you give advice. I'm a little bit more. I live dangerous. Considerate. Circumspect. Yeah. So once the video

Got a million views I got banned from Hertz For life For doing that Oh for doing that Wow they're mad at you Well what about Avis Does Avis give a fuck

Fortunately we got Enterprise We're still working on it There's a lot of car rental companies You can work your way through Yeah they must be like Hey dickhead That's not what we rented it for Enterprise is

His pictures at every Car rental counter in America. Don't rent this guy a car. No matter what, don't rent him a car. Settle down, Todd. Jesus. I'm doing a character. When you go there, if you went there, they would literally tell you you can't rent a car from them.

I think so. Did they try to sue you? I got a letter from a vice president of the company saying I was banned. Did they try to sue you? Yes. How much did they want? They wanted me to buy the car. That makes sense.

That seems reasonable. What was funny was how much they wanted for the car. How much was it? The car was like a year and a half old. It was a Corvette. Right. It was a year and a half old, and it had like 10,000 miles on it, and they wanted to make me buy it for $16,000, which is unbelievably low.

And then I realized why. Salvage title. They rented me a car that was on a salvage title. It already had a salvage? It had already been totaled and brought back, and they tried to sue me into buying it. Oh, my God. I thought about parting it out, actually.

Hold on a second right there. Isn't that crazy that they rented you a car that was salvaged and didn't tell you about it? It's legal to do? Can they fix things 100% now? Having driven that car, I can tell you it's not 100%. I can tell you that car was shot.

What did that car do in a past life? I don't know. I can only tell you what it did in my hands. It was an SS Stormtrooper, probably. But what did it do to make it be brought into this life and get abused like that? It was a Panzer tank. Hit in an accident. It was a 2009.

Oh, there's the video. Look, there's the Corvette. It was a 2009 model. Hello, everybody at Hertz. I hope you're paying attention to this. Oh, it's too late. I'm already paying attention. That's so rude.

Hello, everybody at Hertz. I hope you're paying attention to this. Oh, it's too late. I'm already paying attention. That's so rude. So those cars, they seem a little plasticky to begin with. They are because they're made of plastic. When they take a big hit, can they just bend everything back into position? No, no, no.

When they take a hit, they kind of explode. It shatters. They shatter. Right. So they replace all the stuff that shattered off. Is it like less impact resistant than a regular car? I mean

they're only known for being kind of dangerous. It's not a Pinto? Like less people die in them than you think. This video is hilarious. That's really reassuring. You took a rental car fromuring car you took a fucking rental car from hertz and you put a blower in it no nitrous nitrous in it yeah what is it called

what do you call it you don't call it blow it no blow what did you call it what is spray a spray that's it you sprayed it i have my own vernacular i'm sorry no no no that's i i fucked up with blower i meant to say spray but the the idea of that, of just shoving that shit in somebody's fucking rental car. A friend of mine came up with a nitrous kit. And then videotaping it like an asshole. I love that. A friend of mine came up with a nitrous kit that fits in a suitcase. Oh, my God.

Is it a Halliburton? So you can take it as a carry-on? Yeah. Wait a minute. Not a carry-on. No, no. But you could sneak it into a rental car, supposedly. Really?

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Oh, my God. I wouldn't assemble it in a parking lot. So he would sneak it in in a parking lot, I mean, allegedly, if you were somebody who doesn't even exist. There was a guy I heard about. I don't know.

You would pop the hood. A friend of mine. And just slap that bitch on. Theoretically, yeah. How long would it take you to do that? 10 minutes. 10 minutes. It's just hoses.

Wow. So in 10 minutes, you could have nitrous. There is a guy who is well-known who would fly around the country and rent a Ford Taurus at every place. And a weekend, he would bracket Drag Race. Because he knew

that that Ford Taurus would run a 16.1 every time, no matter the condition. And he could just fly anywhere, show up with a rented car, and run the same fucking number every time. Lay down a bunch of bets? Was he laying down a bunch of bets? Yeah, he would make a living off it because it's bracket,

so it's Price is Right rules, drag racing. Wow. That's hilarious. Drag racing, to me, I never give a fuck about it. It seemed to me like, yeah, I get it. You got there quicker. Whatever. You should try. No. It seemed to me like, yeah, I get it. You got there quicker. Whatever. You know, you should try standing mile.

It's fun. Well, I'm sure it is fun. But what I really enjoy watching is people maneuver for position when people are on track and it's a real race. Formula One. Yeah, that's where it's really exciting. And I know that's also where it's really fucking super dangerous, too. Australian V8 supercar.

You ever watch any of that shit? No, what is that? That's good stuff. Because they're driving cars that look like road cars, right? Stock. Underneath, they're more like NASCARs, but they look like road cars. And it's NASCAR levels of rubbing and bumping, but on road courses with left and right turns. That's amazing.

It's nasty stuff. It's really good racing. Where do they do that? I mean, in Australia a lot, but they also have a race that comes here. They did a Circuit of the Americas race, I think, and they did like a Sonoma race or something. They tore, but it's badass racing. It's good stuff. Wow.

You know what you should do, actually? I'm doing the Silver State Classic next month. Whenever someone says that to me, I get wary. Whenever someone says, you know what you should do, I go, oh, no, I shouldn't, you son of a bitch. You're not going to get me hooked on this new thing. Well, no. How much money have you son of a bitch. You're not going to get me hooked on this new thing. Well, no. How much money have you spent? There's V8 supercar.

How much money have you spent in your Porsche? A lot, right? It costs a few bucks. Right. So don't you want to drive it fast? Yeah, yeah. That would be fun. So September 13th to 15th, I'm doing the Silver State Classic in Nevada.

OK? They shut down 91 miles of highway. I'll tell you right now, I never have the time to spend three days somewhere driving a car. It's only one day. The race, big race, is only one day. You do it for one day. It's a classic race. It's a straight line road race. It's 91 miles

of highway shut down and you want to average 150 miles an hour. Good luck with all that shit. No? No. It seems like it would be a recipe for driving really fast With a bunch of people you don't know that well No, no, no, it's not a wheel-to-wheel race You go off like two minutes at a time

You're by yourself, basically Oh, okay You're timed You win a fucking road in your 500 horsepower Porsche That's what I'm saying You're just driving straight? Well, it's like eight miles straight and then a turn And then ten miles straight and then a turn

And then, you know, But it's 91 miles. You go 91 miles in 25 minutes. I believe you. It's like New York to Philly in 25 minutes. It's crazy. It sounds very dangerous and fun. You fight people. I don't anymore.

I barely grapple. You did fight people. Only in tournaments. In the real world, I'm much more likely to get out of the way. Just be friendly. Just be friendly. Well, the same thrill seekers that would love to drive a car really fast would also like to do MMA or motocross ride. I don't want to fight anybody.

I love driving cars. Well, you just have a different thing. It's a different expression of the thrill gene. I don't't know if it's a real thing but oh it is there's a thing that men seem to have to there's a certain amount of stimulation we seem to have to have in our lives yeah for whatever reason yeah for whatever reason i don't know what the fuck that is well adrenaline's fun adrenaline's a good fucking drug man it is a great one as long as it doesn't get away from you. You want to feel alive. I mean that's why driving fast is such a kick because –

It's fascinating when you watch adrenaline lock someone up too. Is it? When you see someone get like completely locked up with adrenaline. One of the more fascinating things about fighting is watching people walk to the cage and seeing them managing that anticipation. Like their eyes like moving around like what's going on in their head and shit? Yeah, yeah. I mean, different ways of dealing with it.

Everybody has sort of a different approach, but everyone is experiencing an extreme level of adrenaline. The adrenaline that you experience must be just unbearable. I've never done anything as intense as fighting in an MMA bout, but the things that I've done have scared the shit out of me, and I know that that's even scarier. I've done some adrenaline shit. I manage it by talking a lot.

Some people manage it with, like, silence. You know what I mean? Some people manage it with, like, fucking moving around, whatever. I manage it by talking. Huge surprise. I manage it by talking a lot. Well, whatever calms you down, right? That's the idea.

Yeah. Whatever keeps you relaxed. What's the scariest thing you've done? Martial arts competitions, for sure. Yeah. second but only in the beginning only in the beginning when when i first did it or the moments that i've bombed i've had i've had some horrific fucking death defying i'd love to do stand up i'm terrified of it man bombing i i've to steal a joke for myself is like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother. It's the most embarrassed a man could ever be in life, and I've done it many times.

That's horrible. Yeah, you learn and grow from it, but yeah, you take a fucking beating. I'm terrified of it, man. When I was doing the speed show, they would have a comic for in-between fucking takes, like the crowd guy, whatever. The warm-up guy. The warm-up guy. And every once in a while, I'd grab the mic from him like relieve him and because i figured like i'm on the show i get at least hold their attention for five

fucking minutes and i would tell a story or two and i got some decent laughs but i felt like i felt like that audience was like you know i'm scared to go to a random audience and do it well you would just need a different introduction you would need to let them know what you're about. You could do that through a couple of jokes. And then they get used to whoever you are. And then they sort of either accept you or don't. It's definitely easier if they know who you are. Like they know who you are from a show, from your show.

They're already fans. Then it's easy. They know your sense of humor because you express it a lot in a lot of your videos. It would be an easy transition. Like you could probably do – you have a lot of hits on those videos you know you could probably do stand up in a place if you wanted to try it you know if you wanted to you should go to like an open mic night and then try like a night somewhere have a bunch of professional comedians and then you go up and do like 10 minutes like sandwich yourself in with other people that are pros that's scary shit to me

or go to an open mic night. Pros sounds really scary to me. You know, the good thing about open mic nights is... Everyone sucks. Yes. Yeah. That's it. I think it was Richard Jennings that said that. The good thing about bad comedians is it inspires people to try it.

Yeah. And I think he's right. Yeah, yeah. He was totally right. Because that's... So funny. When you go to an open mic night, you go, oh, okay, it's not like everybody's Richard Pryor here.

This is okay. I'll be all right. I'll be all right. This is very difficult to do. I've seen some really bad comedy and been like, I could fucking do better than that guy. Yeah, we all have. There's no doubt about that. I'm sure you have.

But I feel like there's something different from being funny around people you know and being funny around strangers is a really big difference. Yeah, it's a big difference for sure. I'm not sure what it takes to pull it off. Focus. If I'm actually funny. Yeah, you could do it. I think I could be funny.

You could do it. It just takes focus. You would just have to decide that that's who you are. You're a stand-up comedian. Then you start writing and working at it. Yeah, you could do it. You could totally do it. You'd probably enjoy it.

It's probably perfect for your personality. I'm a decent storyteller, I think. You tell decent stories on the show? I tell decent stories if I have the time. Listen, man, you could totally do it. It's one of those things where it's not magic. It's not like you either have to be seven foot tall or you can't play basketball. No, it's not that.

If you have an ability to communicate and you have something to say, you can figure it out. In fact, a certain amount of self-loathing doesn't actually help. Helps a little. Helps a little. I learned that from Jim Norton. Nothing wrong with that. Or not having it. That's okay, too.

It's whoever the fuck you really are. I do self-loathing. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, no, I do. I fucking hate myself, dude. It sucks. Why? Todd's going to save you now.

Why? No, I'm not in that business of saving. You don't need to shrink dude. It sucks. Why? Todd's going to save you now. Why? No, I'm not in that business of saving you. You don't need to shrink me. It's okay. I've always had it. It comes with growing up being the fat kid. It happens. What are you going to do?

Yeah, but you're a different person now. Are you guys going to make out? I learned from... If you guys are going to make out, I'm going to pee. Hey, the room is full of love. I learned from Jim Norton and Opie and Anthony that you can be... I'm not going to walk away from the love, Joe. Nothing wrong with that. You can embrace the filth, and I've embraced the filth. Yeah, we were talking about that, I guess, before the podcast itself. We were talking about

Opie and Anthony being one of the reasons why you got into it, that you saw them and you were like, holy shit, I actually think I could do something. I used to be so insecure. Do you know how I can insecure You wouldn't even believe Because I pass off as an extrovert now Even though I'm really insecure I was the properly insecure Back in the day Until I discovered that you can actually say

Like disgusting things And have people laugh And make a living off it That was amazing And it was like all Norton, Obi-Wan Anthony, and Patrice, who I got to meet before he died. Fucking thank God. I think a lot of people that are involved in the entertainment business are at least initially insecure. That you kind of have to be.

To want that much attention, to put yourself up in front of that many people, you get to a position like that only if you have a deficit, in my opinion. But there's a difference between acting and then doing it and being you. Almost always. I've known some actors who needed the attention, right? Yeah. Like, I knew Anna Paquin when we were, like, 18, 19. Wow.

That was an interesting girl. My friend dated her. At school? I'm not sure who that is. I gave her mushrooms for the first time ever. I'm not sure who that is. She's on True Blood the first time ever. I'm not sure who that is. She's on True Blood. Oh, okay.

I never watched that show. She won an Oscar at 12. Great actress. Oh, did she really? Yeah. Amazing. And when we were 19, I gave her mushrooms for the first time. Dude, you can go to jail for this.

Allegedly pretending, just fibbing. You heard a story about how? Is there a statute of limitations on that? No, I don't think so. Not in this day and age. Not with the NDAA, CWP. I think in this day and age, I think this is one of the weirdest times to grow up

and to know that mushrooms are still illegal if you're listening to this. If you're in high school or if you're in college and you find out about what's legal and what's illegal and how it got there. That's the bullshit tipping point. That's the tipping point where you realize when you look at things and you go, wait a minute. What are they doing? This makes no sense!

Hold on. What's Schedule 1? And you find out Schedule 1 is marijuana. Marijuana has no medicinal value. And then you just see all these people that have emphysema or glaucoma or AIDS, whatever the fuck they have. It helps me. I've had two back surgeries. Cancer.

It helps me, straight up. It helps people. It helps people relax. But then you see this shit, the Schedule II. Schedule II is cocaine, heroin. Heroin and cocaine have medicinal value. Which is, when did they have medicinal value? In like 1905?

No, they still, In opiates, like for pills, for Oxycontin. That's when they figured out it was good. I got some Paul Methadone in the hospital. In the right circumstances, those are really helpful. Yeah. Medical cocaine is a real thing. They really do use medical cocaine.

They use it for something. I know lidocaine is like the gay cousin of cocaine. Really? That's a type of... It's like cocaine gel? It's just different. It's just different. He's got his own thing. What happens when they marry?

They marry inside your nose when they do surgery on it. That's what lidocaine's for. They numb you up. It's a weird, nasty-tasting thing that makes your heart feel funny. Yeah, they did it to me when I had my nose fixed. I had a deviated septum. I had that too. Folks, if you please listen to me, if you have it and you know a guy who could fix it

and he's a good doctor and he's good at it, please get it fixed. It will change your fucking life. Change your life. I was a mouth breather most of my life. I was like, I couldn't breathe out of my nose. Well, I fell down a flight of stairs when I was five. Even before the hitting, I broke my nose. I was an idiot. I was walking, I can't breathe out of my nose. Well, I fell down flight of stairs when I was five. Even before the hitting,

I broke my nose. I was an idiot. I was walking into trees and shit. And then, martial arts, for a long time, in the beginning,

I wasn't good, so I got hit a lot. So I'm sure my nose took a beating. People are scared to get the surgery, dude. I've been scared to get the surgery

every time I've had to get a surgery. I've been like, putting it off, putting it've had to get a surgery. I've been like putting it off, putting it off, putting it off, putting it off and just being in pain

which has been my spine and then I get the surgery and I wake up a fucking hour later and I'm like, why didn't I get the surgery? Like fucking... What surgeries

have you had done on your back? I did the Baja 1000 race in 2003. That's that crazy race down in Mexico? In Mexico. It's off-road

and I burst the L4, L5 disc. Did you guys crash? No. The Baja 1000 race in 2003. That's that crazy race down in Mexico? In Mexico. It's off-road. And I burst the L4, L5 disc. Did you guys crash? No. I burst it just from compression. No crashing. Just from jumping up and down in your seat? Yeah, for 30 hours. There's ditches like this.

They're like massive three-foot. You're going 80 to 100 over stuff. They call them whoops. What are you doing? It's the dumbest, coolest race ever. My friend Bud Brutsman, who is the executive producer of Rides, he does that shit every

year. That motherfucker does that shit every year. You have to be kind of insane. I mean, I didn't crash and I burst a disc in my spine. They have those special Ford trucks with the crazy suspensions. Jesus fuck. Legit. They have like 35 inch travel on the shocks. Oh my god. 35 inch travelensions. The pre-runners, yeah. Jesus. Legit. They have like 35-inch travel on the shocks. Oh, my God.

35-inch travel. That's almost three feet. So when it's done, okay, your disc bursts, what do they do? Do they fuse it? No, I had a micro discectomy, so they fixed it without having to fuse it. Okay. Then I did the same thing again like eight years later. Same part of the battle? I didn't do Baja. I drove cross-country in a Camaro. That fuse it. Okay. Then I did the same thing again, like eight years later. Same part of the battle?

I didn't do Baja. I drove cross-country in a Camaro. That did it. What year? 2010. Oh. The Camaro had such a bad seating position for me that sitting, because, all right, so I'm going to, this is going to be tough.

Are we on camera? Because you're tall? Is that what it is? So the roof was too short, right? Oh, they have a weird roof, right? So I had to lean too far back and then reach forward, meaning my spine was like a C. Oh, no. So every time I hit a bump, that C would just compress.

So it bursted again, and I had to have it fixed again. Ow. So when they're fixing it, they're just chucking a little piece of it off. Basically, yeah. But after that, you feel like you have full movement. You only get two. You only get two. I've had the two.

The next step is fusion, and that's bad. No more Baja for you. Do you take care of yourself? I try to, but doing my job, I stretch a lot. I go to physical therapy. I ride my bike when I'm home. But unfortunately, doing my job makes it worse. Not doing my job makes it better. Oh, I see. So driving the cars makes it worse. Not doing my job makes it better.

Oh, I see. So driving the cars makes it worse. Driving cars is what does it. Do you exercise your back? I do when I'm home, but I'm home seven days the month of August. I'm doing a 500-mile off-road trip and then 2,000 miles across Europe in the same month with a bad spine, man. It's rough. Yeah.

You know what, man? If you can make it a priority every place you stop to go to a gym, it would help you tremendously. I'm sure it would. Because strengthening your back will go a long way to protecting you in that situation, I think. Last summer, I had like a lull in work for a couple months. And I didn't work very much. I didn't have to travel very much. And I lost like 60 pounds.

I was in in great shape and then it just i started working again it's like the more money i make the worse physically i get right and then i go you know if i'm broke i'm in great shape no money no problems i'm fat you know it's it's and it sounds like i'm making excuses because i partially am because if i really i feel like if i really was committed that much i'd find find a gym at the Holiday Inn, you know? Right. But it's, but, and as much as I love my job, the days are long as fuck, man. Right.

You know, my life sounds super glamorous when it's hacked down to 10 minutes a week. You know, the other. How many days a week do you film car videos? I'm filming one or two days a week but it's the other shit you know there's there's seven eight hundred mile transits that we're driving rather than right to save money and there's stays in front of my computer fucking you know sourcing shit out and it's a it's full time stuff man do you uh hunt down all these various places that you go to yourself? Yeah. Wow.

So it's just basically through your connections in the car world? And I do all our social media. I do all our YouTube management. I do all that stuff. Listen, it must be a massive blessing to people like BBI. You blew them up, man. That video put a lot of people, I'm sure, called that place and said, I want one of those fucking things.

Look, a lot of people, I'm sure, called that place and said, I want one of those fucking things. We have estimated that appearing on our show for a shop is about $50,000 worth of marketing value. I think that's probably being— That's a low estimate. Yeah, that's being conservative because those videos are going to be around for a long-ass time. And you're dealing with, as we were talking about, really cars that are never going to go out of style. A 1980s Porsche or a 1970s Porsche, you're always going to go out of style. A 1980s Porsche or a 1970s Porsche, you're always going to want one of those. So if you find some guy who builds the most wicked 1980s Porsche,

but you don't find out about it until 2024, if people are still driving cars, you're still going to want to see that. Yeah. I mean, that stuff over the long term, I think, will work great. It's going to be so weird when everybody else is fucking flying hovercrafts and shit shit and we're still like... I hope they save us the gas, man. If they save me, then

save me the fucking premium octane. I'll use it. There will always be gas. I'm all about commuting around in my Volt to fucking use my Corvette on the weekends. What makes you so confident that there will always be gasoline? Because internal combustion engines are easy. They're easy

to fix. They're easy to run. And they're relatively efficient in terms of the amount of power output. The power density and such. There's a bunch of people that believe in the fact that the oil is running out, right? Peak oil, it's called. You don't subscribe to that? It's bullshit. Is it really?

Yeah. The science is not good? They keep finding more oil And there have been some studies done Where on a seabed Oil just sort of appeared spontaneously So there's new oil being made In the long term I think they're probably right In the long long term

But I really I think we're going to find something When it comes down to it When it really fucking comes down to it People get shit done. We're going to be using pork froth before we run out of oil. Have you driven a hydrogen car before? No.

It drives like a fucking car. Is that the Honda? Did you drive a Honda? Yeah, the Honda or the BMW. BMW has one. Yeah, they drive like cars. The oil coming off the seabed floor, that's a new thing that I just discovered recently, too, or heard about. I found some oil on the ground. I was like, wow,

this is weird. And we googled it, and it turns out a lot of it is just natural. It just comes out of the bottom of the ocean. Where, like out here? Yeah, like near Malibu it was. Really? Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess they drill it La Cienega, right? Like, they've got fucking well-oiled. There's offshore oil platforms. Yeah.

And who knows what's happening there. There might be a little leakage every now and again. Seeming. Whoopsie. Sorry, honey. Isn't there like a pipeline that runs down to the canyon? I think there is. It was really fucked up was when that giant BP spill went down.

That it really like the amount of devastation was fairly mild in comparison to the amount of fucking oil that went into the ocean. Yeah. Like it was an insane amount of oil that just kept getting pumped in the ocean. But the amount of devastation, like, I thought it was going to be, like, half the ocean was dead. Yeah. Everything died. And they were talking about, like, it almost, like, it stopped, like, a lot of the different animals, like shrimps, like, fucked them up hard in their tracks.

Ruined, like, a lot of the fishing. It was bad. Yeah. I think it in their tracks. Ruined like a lot of the fishing. It was bad. Yeah. I think it was pretty hard. Fucked up a lot of things. No doubt about it. And it fucked up a lot of people that cleaned it up. But if you looked at it, you wouldn't even know.

You would drive over it in your boat and you'd be like, oh, it looks like water. Meanwhile, that's the fucking water. A little darker today, huh? Where all the shit went down. It's like the ocean can figure out probably how to get rid of the oil better than it can figure out how to get rid of shit. We pump on it to disperse the oil. The ocean's in big trouble. Yeah.

Isn't it? The oceans are truly and seriously fucked. Reefs are like gone. Coral reefs are in trouble. Everybody always talked about the Amazon. We're cutting down the Amazon, and it's the lungs of the earth, and it creates all this oxygen. The algae in the sea is more than double what the Amazon does. And the ocean is in trouble.

We really need to pay attention to that because it's at the core of the entire global ecosystem, and nobody's really paying much attention. Well, and not only that, like, we're watching it grow. Yes. We're watching it, like, whether or not you believe global warming is caused by man, whatever. Who knows?

I'm not smart enough to understand that argument, but when you watch the ocean... It's just happening. ...Greenland, and you watch these fucking giant Manhattan-sized chunks of ice fall into the ocean, and you're like, oh, shit, what is exactly going on here?

This is going to be a problem. And when a lot of the ice melts, it releases methane into the atmosphere, which accelerates the process of global warming. Yeah, it's almost like a double-edged sword. It's really kind of fascinating. I mean, the whole idea of this ebb and flow in the temperature of certain regions in the earth itself, it seems to just be a natural cycle. It seems to, besides the fact that human beings are affecting it and accelerating it, it seems to have always been this way. It's really

strange when you look back at like the ice age and know that half of North America was covered in a mile high sheet of ice just 13, 14,000 years ago, whatever it was. That is not very long, man. Blink of an eye. But what we've done, you're right, it's fluctuated naturally over eons, but we've compressed the time cycle. Oh, for sure. No, we're certainly cunty beasts that are worthy of scorn. I love you talking about cunty dinosaurs.

Yeah. And the asteroid. China and India are really, really thoroughly ruining it quickly. Yeah. What are they doing? Well, they've got all of our manufacturing capability, but with none of our gives a fuck about the environment. Richard Nixon passed the Environmental Protection Agency. I mean, he was the promoter of the law that created the Environmental Protection Agency.

Richard Nixon, of all people. But they don't have that in India, and they don't have that in China. And so they're just gone mad. Somebody get them a Richard Nixon. They need one badly. So India and China, they have no rules, or they have less rules? It's pretty wild west over there. And you see a lot of pictures that they'll do.

I'll see my friends go on press launches over there and stuff. You see a lot of pictures, you know, that they'll do. I'll see my friends go on press launches over there and stuff. And it's like LA smog is fucking amateur hour compared to Beijing smog. Well, I saw this one place in China. They did a special on it. I forget who did the documentary, but they said it was like smoking three packs of cigarettes a day, just breathing the air in there. Yeah. It's like the sky is like literally a dark brown.

Yeah. Like the surgical mask, that's like standard operating procedure over there. How weird. Yeah. Yeah. What happens? Is it too many people in one spot? What went wrong with that?

It's like shitty diesel engines. People still ride in two-stroke scooters over there all day. They're maximizing the short-term economic gain by not spending a little more money on pollution controls. But when we look at, oh my God, that is insane. These people driving. Can you imagine? That's every day.

It's incredible. It's so gross. It's amazing they're alive. But what's really crazy is how many of them there are. Oh, yeah. You know? Yeah. When you find out that China has a billion people, India has a billion people, you're like, oh my God.

What? Like, how do you manage that? It seems like it gets that big. It gets like way out of control impossible well that's what we really have to deal with in america right we have to make sure that doesn't happen and right what the fuck happens when we hit a billion we go our shit is third world style oh dude population growth is lower in developed countries yes and they're saying that as the rest of the world catches up, that population growth will eventually be an issue in the negative way. That's a theory.

Yep. But those theories don't mean jack shit. Because these motherfuckers have never predicted the future ever. No one's ever predicted the future ever. That's one thing you can count on with people. The future, good fucking luck figuring that shit out. Does that seem like common sense, though? A little bit. If we have enough people, that's going to be a problem at out. Does that seem like common sense, though? A little bit.

If we have enough people, that's going to be a problem at some point? Yes. That seems like common sense. Yes, that seems more like common sense than what these people are saying, that eventually with places becoming more and more populated and more advanced as far as technology, that people will start having less kids. They'll be more educated.

It'll just handle itself. Milton will just fire himself eventually. The idea is that they'll start having careers. And if they start having careers, they'll back off the amount of children because there'll be more opportunity. And that the reason why these people in these impoverished areas have children is because they don't have any financial opportunities so they have kids. I'm not sure I buy it.

It makes rational sociological sense. If you have nothing and you have no prospects of having anything, your best chance of surviving and getting something is to have a bunch of kids and maybe one of them will get something and take care of you. That's a weird gamble. I don't think anybody gambles like that.

I don't think anybody banks on 30 years so my kid's going to be the shit. I'm going to be able to sit back on a yacht because my kid bought me some cool shit. That's some seriously sketchy logic. No, it's not about a yacht. It's about having just food and a roof over your head. No, that's the way these cultures work. I don't have any food.

I'm going to have a baby and wait for that baby to get me some food. Well, I think in these ancient tribal cultures, they did want you to have children because children could contribute to the household. Absolutely. And take care of you when you're old. Exactly. A huge portion of Jewish culture is make more fucking Jews. The Jews are all about making more Jews. And the

Mormons. Mormons too. It's like, how do you grow the religion? You either have lots of wives and lots of kids or you just have the... I gotta say that as a group of people that don't take their religion too seriously, Jews dominate. Oh, yes. Dominate. Because we have reformed Jews. Yes.

We have levels of Jew that- Exactly. The people that consider themselves Jews can be cool and rational and normal and somehow Jewish. Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Joe. It's true. Whereas Catholics, good fucking luck. Every time I meet a grown man that tells me he's a Catholic, I'm like, this dude's crazy.

You're crazy. What are you doing crazy? My ex-girlfriend was diehard Catholic and her dad was diehard Catholic until one day he woke up gay and left the family and moved in with his boyfriend. And now good thing Catholicism worked. Well, I think the family and moved in with his boyfriend. And now, good thing, Catholicism worked. Well, I think the people were silly. And I think that the beautiful thing about Catholic Church entirely is the community, the sense of community, everybody getting together and agreeing to not be a douchebag for a day. That's a beautiful sentiment.

But everything else that it's wrapped up in, it's a group of kid fuckers a crazy cult of kid fuckers who dress like wizards it's a complete total chaos the pope is coming around the new pope doesn't care people are gay it's okay if you're gay he was talking about gay priests he's like who am i to judge didn't the last pope say sorry to the jews but did you know that if you follow the pope here's to refute that, not to say that that wasn't a great quote by him, but here's where it goes in the toilet. He said that if you follow him on Twitter, you get less time in purgatory. I shit you not.

Even if you're a Jew? I shit you not. What if you're a Jew? Well, listen, if you're a Jew, you know that you live in a fake religion, okay? You know that you guys have created this. It came out of Catholicism. They would have some rationalization. You see that, Corvette?

That's how I got it. Fake forced Judaism. You have to join Christianity and admit Jesus Christ, take him into your soul and heart, and then you'll be saved. You know what's weird? Jews did that for a lot of years. group of Jewish ancestors in New Mexico who were Spanish and they stopped being Jews, became Catholics so they could escape to the new world. Wow. And they got to New Mexico and they practiced their Judaism in secret.

That's fascinating. Is this Jews for Jesus? No, no. This is the real thing. The secret Jews? This is like going back to like the 16th century. You know, I'm never one to tell anybody what is and isn't real, because the whole thing is pretty sketchy. Yeah, who knows?

But all I care about with religious people is that if they really do adhere to the principles of the religious doctrines, they're usually pretty nice people. Yeah. I mean, it's not 100%, but the people that are trying to use it as, a toolbox, trying to use it as like a way to get through life. Guideline to be good people. Be moral. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. No. No.

Not at all. I'm not anti-religion for other people. But you call yourself a Catholic, you're most likely a silly bitch. Me? No. I'm a Jew. But it does. I said if you.

If you. Oh, my God, Todd. Sorry. I know way more ex-religious people Than religious people Of course Yeah Well you know It's never that

There's no god It's just that You look at Any fucking story That anybody's ever Told about anything Yeah And it's too hard to tell

What the fuck really happened Right It's so hard to tell It's just a story It's so hard to tell Like let's go back Go back to the JFfk assassination that shit was 1963 right okay no one knows what happened we have a couple of videos there's a lot of

different stories about what went down who was shooting at who and what they did to the body and the autopsy that was just that was in within a human lifetime right you want to go 500 years without even writing things down. My god, things get sketchy. Yeah. And you don't have photos? Yeah. Oh, no photos. Did you guys even write back then? Oh yeah, we used to get out animal skins. So we'd remember what we learned today.

We made like Sumerian scrolls. Yeah, from the fucking buffalo god. Scratches and clay tablets. Who told me about fertility. They were crazy assholes. And oh, by the way, that guy was white. Yeah, they would occasionally stumble on magic mushrooms and eat a fucking pile of them because they were starving to death and completely rewired their religion.

All right, we got to try it. Let's take it back to square zero. Okay, everything we said was bullshit. All right, we're going to make it simple. I got 10 ideas. Yeah. Okay, everything we said was bullshit. All right.

We're going to make it simple. I got 10 ideas. Yeah. They parted the fucking sea on a peyote trip wrapped in fucking Star David flags and shit. Well, you know, Jerusalem scholars actually are entertaining the idea, like legitimate scholars are entertaining the idea that Moses, when he saw the burning bush, was experiencing a psychedelic trip. That makes sense. That makes total sense.

That is the most common sense religious statement ever made. They even connected it to the acacia bush, which is a very famous bush, a common bush in that area that is very rich in dimethyltryptamine. Really? So this bush could have potentially been dried out, caught on fire. Oh, he was just huffing DMT. He's huffing the smoke, and he experiences God. It's very possible. That makes sense.

I mean, why else would it be a burning bush? What's the bush? It's on fire, and it's God. Duh. Okay? I mean, how much more do they have to spell it out for you? Moses was a fucking druggie, man. They only had ten words back then.

They were doing their best. That really does make sense. It totally makes sense. It's the most logical explanation of religion in the history of religion. And what's logical is that it's not coming from people like me. It's coming from legitimate scholars, which makes it fascinating. They're considering the sources. But when you know what the source is, okay, if you take, you're trying to figure out what could have possibly caused this extraordinary event that made them write this down.

Well, why would not you consider psychedelics? Because it was really obvious they worshipped a lot of different foods. It was obvious they had, like the ancient Hindu, they had mana, and people had, there was all sorts of different things. Soma, which was supposed to be the greatest of all the psychedelics that the ancient Hindus talked about. Nobody even knows what the fuck Soma is. Now it's just a shitty pill you buy in Mexico.

Well, it's a sleeping pill now, which is interesting. But the original Soma was some sort of a combinatory psychedelic brew that might have involved more than one different type of psychedelic, and it was the shit to these people. They worshipped it. Why wouldn't they have psychedelics? Of course they would. Of course they'd have psychedelics.

But for the longest time, people were afraid to say it. For the longest time, people were afraid to say it. Why wouldn't they have psychedelics? Of course they would. Of course they'd have psychedelics. But for the longest time, people were afraid to say it. For the longest time, people were afraid to say it. Right. But now scholars are accepting it as a reality. They're like, look, we know the effects of these chemicals. Let's stop pretending we don't know the effects of these chemicals. Then let's consider, were they in the area? Oh yes, they were. And they were in bushes.

Yeah. What happened to those bushes catching on fire? Well, I guess it would release that chemical, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. I mean, it's not't it? Yeah. There you go. Yeah. I mean, it's not like extracting the empty. Have you been there? Never been to Israel, no. There's too much shit blowing up over there.

Nah. Israel's pretty safe. If you say that. It's unbelievable. You're all Jewed out. Not even Jews. If you're a Jew, they'll give you a trip there. That's what I'm saying.

Think about how many other religions are there, though. The Muslim religion comes from there. Yeah. It's a weird. That's what I'm saying. Think about how many other religions are there, though. The Muslim religion comes from there. Yeah. It's a weird place. Well, I'm sure. Christianity comes from there, too, buddy. Well, yeah. Yeah, hell.

So does Elvis. Yeah. It's absolutely fascinating. That part of the world, it's still constantly a conflict. Yeah. Like two dogs barking at each other across fences. I mean, it's like a constant conflict in that area. Israel's pretty safe.

They just said they were going to resume peace talks, Israel and Palestine. They should get their shit together. John Kerry, Secretary of State, is really on it. That's beautiful. And he's really serious about it, and he's making some progress. It would be sweet to happen. That would be beautiful. You know, people need to realize at some point in time that you don't have a problem with anybody over there.

There's groups of people that believe they have problems with other groups of people, and most of it's bullshit. Right. Most of it is a lack of understanding, communication, being affiliated with a group that you don't really want to be affiliated with, getting lumped into this fucking group of people. By birth. Yeah, it's craziness. If you leave two people by themselves in a room, they'll probably get along when we're

there. Most likely. Yeah. Yeah, we use the podcast uh analogy all the time like we had this guy dan carlin on the other day and it was me and brian and jamie and dan carlin like if we were on an island together we would have zero fights right like what would we argue about we would never have a war everything would be we'd find out where the food is we'd split it up we'd figure out how to grow shit we would work it out yeah you know but when you get too

many goddamn people like you know it's just too many fucking egos. It's too many ideas, too many points of view. People are selfish when you get beyond, like, four people. Competition. They can be or they cannot be. It's possible to not be, too. But you've got to really, like, act out that's got to be an ethic. Well, no, I don't, I mean, on an individual level, they can be or they cannot be.

But someone's going to be selfish if you have more than four people. Well, when you lose your accountability, when you can like blend in the crowd of anonymous people and just drive around in your car and just be a cunty shithead, you know, it's like that's when things – That changes the equation. Yeah. So when you move to L.A. Well, I think that it does Change the equation though I think one of the things The reason why people

Give each other the finger In cars Is because they're Detached from each other Right Yeah You know you feel like Fuck

Whoever gives you the finger When you're walking Nobody There's no accountability Okay let's consider a casino Have you ever gotten the finger Given to you in a casino No

It's always Excuse me Sorry People are just moving through Trying to get out of the way You know I mean You occasionally see a drunken fight if you stay there late enough.

Yeah. If you're lucky. Yeah, if you're lucky and you're in the right spot. The fucking sharkies in Manhattan and Hermosa Beach. That's where you get into fights. But 99.999% of the time when you're walking through a large group of people like in a mall or something like that, everybody's cool with each other. It's calm. We feel each other.

When you're in a car, you're like, ah, fuck you. It's like this weird thing. You've got the capsule of protection. Yeah. You've got a fucking box there. You're good to go. I've had people yell at me in the car before. Which car?

Any of them. Really? Any car, yeah. Over all the years. I mean, it's not often. Yeah. But when it does happen, the rare time it does happen, you're like, whoa, look at this crazy charged up motherfucker. He's screaming at people in often. Yeah. But when it does happen, the rare time it does happen, you're like, whoa, look at this crazy, charged-up motherfucker

that's screaming at people in traffic. Getting all Michael Douglas on you? But that's one step up from a YouTube commenter. Nah. I had a guy take off his shirt once. What? Took off his shirt to show me his tattoos. In his car? In his car, yelling at me. He's yelling at me. Okay, first of all, I know when I

drive like a dick. There have been times that I've been guilty i'm not a major dick but occasionally the person will make an aggressive maneuver that wasn't recommended okay that said i'm very friendly i wave i'm not and i won't i won't do any douche moves okay i'm not trying to be but this guy for whatever reason just decided that he wanted to get in front of me and that i didn't let him quick enough okay it was weird like the guy went crazy like it was one of those like where nothing really happened it was like you know i'm just trying to figure out how he's gonna merge i'm looking back i'm looking to my left should i change lanes here and just let this guy in all the

way yeah and you know when i back off by the time he got beside me he's like fuck you fuck you and I'm like what happened and he goes you want to let me in you fucking piece of shit it was like

oh my god and then he takes his shirt off and he shows me his tattoos and I was like this is the craziest thing was there a swastika on there or something no no

he had like a lot of tattoos and I just I just go you have really nice tattoos and I just bravo and I gave him like zero aggression back I was go you have really nice tattoos and I just Bravo and I'm yeah I gave him like zero aggression back I was like you're really nice tattoos and but he was like just like at highway speeds I was in traffic streets

long time ago this is 1990 ish I'll never forget that cat it's because I'm like though that guy was just sad you think I'm gonna stab for that guy might have stabbed me like if I got out of the car that guy might have stabbed me I mean you never know that's the type of person that would fucking hit you with a crowbar. You think you're fucking badass?

What is this video of? Is this Expendables? What is this? Why are you showing this Jimmy? Something cool from Bollywood. It's pretty sweet. I just played it to go along with your story.

He just stepped out of a spinning SUV. It kind of looked like Stallone for a minute. This does not go with my story Jimmy. Please stop this. This is distracting.

Video mixing. It's a rolling Mah my story, Jamie. Please stop this. This is distracting. Video mixing. It's a rolling Mahindra SUV. Is it bad that I can identify that particular Indian company? No, that's impressive. Jamie, why are you showing this, man? That's impressive. I would have no idea what kind of car that was. The Mahindra. He knew. It's a Bollywood. You know how Bollywood cars are? You know what they are?

I mean, I'm familiar with that particular Indian vehicle. How many different vehicles do they have in India? Do they have unique sports cars and shit like that? Not sports cars. No? No, they import the sports cars into India. They have Tuk Tuks and Tata Nanos and Mahindra cars. What's a Tuk Tuk?

It's like a three-wheeled thing. With a small motorcycle engine, like a two-horsepower. It's T-U-K space T-U-K. Tuk Tuk. It's a tuk-tuk? It's like a three-wheeled thing. With a small motorcycle engine, like a two-horsepower. It's T-U-K space T-U-K. It's a tuk-tuk. Two-horsepower engine, a seat in the back, a guy in the front. It's tiny. Oh my god. It's like a taxi in Mumbai and other places in India.

And a truck, and a family hauler, and a school bus, and a camel lead vehicle. It's everything. Yeah, look at that tuk-tuk. No, that's not a tuk-tuk. That's a Rolls Royce of tuk-tuks. That's a really nice tuk-tuk, actually. I'm not kidding you.

It's on chromes. So it's essentially they realize, hey, look, we don't really need a car. It's warm out. We just need something that's going to stuff some shit into it. What's the cheapest, fastest way to get shit from one place to another? And they'll put fucking 19 people on a moped over there and shit. I mean, they're crazy.

Yeah. Family of 19. And again, is that because there's so many of them? Is that what happens when you get so many people and they stuff them into one place? And not enough space. Yep. Is that just so we lose value and everyone's just a fucking wild animal? Oh, yeah.

It's just the way it is i mean and that'll that'll grow and change india's growing and changing it's an amazing country have you seen the you sound like such a liberal it sounded have you have you seen i am guilty i know have you seen the videos of uh chinese people driving in like random videos from chinese streets where they just take turns into traffic. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A friend tried to explain it to me.

This is non-racist. This is just sociological and cultural. Yes. He said Chinese people, most of them, as they're walking down the street, they're very polite. They don't mind other people's business, and they look straight ahead, and they don't look to the left,

and they don't look to the right, and if they bump into each other, they don't worry about it, and they keep walking, and they don't look to the left and don't look to the right. And if they bump into each other, they don't worry about it and they keep walking. And it's normal. So the type of behavior required to drive an automobile is completely different. You have to think completely different than your normal mode of transportation. Your normal mode is your legs. And when you do that, you have a very specific way of looking at the world. But you have to open wide when you drive a car and some of them just are not buying it so they're just driving straight through

intersections when he said this it i i i you know like because he was talking about cultural yeah well he was talking about the reasons for stereotypes right he's like what are the reasons for certain stereotypes he goes well they're all almost all of them are based on something that makes sense otherwise people wouldn't agree to them right it may hurt people's feelings and they may be racist, but let's try to find the root of it. And so he was trying to find the root of Asian driving. And he was like, it's very clear. That's a pretty good one. It's their being humble and not drawing attention to themselves and not worrying about bumping into each other.

At the other end of the spectrum, have you seen the crazy Arab drifting? Yes. The hogwalla. On two wheels, changing a tire. I want to do a series here in the States called Formula Hogwalla where we actually, and they have to wear the gowns, but they look like

NASCAR'd out with the sponsors and shit. That's hilarious. Like monster energy fucking hogwalla. And they have no guardrails. You have oncoming traffic, of course. Somebody, some poor bastard has to sign up for that shit. They got to wear a turban, though. It says Marlboro on it.

And you just hog wallah into traffic to the delight of thousands. If you even put that Marlboro turban down on paper, they'll fucking come out of it. Yeah, here we go. Look at these fucking guys here. These guys are switching the tires. He's changing a wheel. That's a Daihatsu Rocky.

At 90 miles an hour, right? How fast are they going? Something. I mean, I don't know. That can't be 90. No, it's probably 35 or 40. It's scary enough to scare the fuck out of you. Yeah.

Because if that guy comes down, that wheel isn't back on, he's fucked. How long can that guy keep that driving? Essentially forever. Half an hour. He's changing a fucking wheel The road goes straight forever All the way across the desert This guy is changing a fucking wheel And have you seen the road skating?

Oh my god look at this He took the wheel off and they're staring at it Are they going to try to put that wheel back on? They're switching the front wheels They're swapping How could you possibly put a wheel on while the car is going that fast? And that's the driver standing out of the car right now. There's only two wheels on the road.

Yeah, but it doesn't matter. Your axle's spinning. How are you going to connect it to the axle? They're freewheeling. It's not a live axle. Yeah. They're independent suspension. Yeah.

So the axle without the wheel isn't spinning. But he has the back wheels off, too. It has open differentials. With an open differential, you can do that. Oh, my God. That is insane. The vehicle would be lightly prepped for this task. Oh, Jesus Christ.

And I mean very lightly. I mean the open differential. Oh, my God. Look at this guy hanging out of the bottom of this. This guy is insane. The guy inside is handling some serious fucking pressure. Yeah. Matt did this with a Hertz rental car.

No, people die doing this shit all the fucking time. He's hanging out the window. This is like no joke. People actually really die doing this stuff all the time. Oh, no joke? Come on, look at this. Of course they die. Joe has a...

This guy's hanging out the fucking window. He's driving while he's hanging out the window and he's on two wheels. You see the road skating? Look up Saudi road skating. They skate on the highway in sandals. These people are crazy. Guess what? They have nothing else to do with their time.

Is that what it is or are they just a gangster? No, they have all the money in the world and all the oil in the world. What else are you going to do? And all the sandals in the world. Here, look. Here, look at these guys. They're skating in sandals on the highway. That is insane.

Outside of what looks like a Hyundai Elantra. Do they climb out and climb back in? Yeah. Oh, my God. That is insane. Look at them hang backwards. Oh, my God. Like in traffic.

Oh, my God. He's hanging backwards That's cooler than break dancing He's just stepping out there This is so insane I have never seen anything this insane Oh my god, Joe's mind is blown right now He's silly, crazy

Are those just street scandals? Look at him hanging out the door right there I like that move These guys are standing up moving tarmac. One foot up in the air is the move. This is so crazy. Oh, my God. I'm shitting my pants watching this.

It's great fun, right? Listen, I feel like we're encouraging something awful by playing this. Don't do this at home, kids. Right. Please don't do that at home. It's already been done. It's on YouTube. Go enjoy it.

Yeah. You'll die doing that, probably. It's way too done. It's on YouTube. Go enjoy it. Yeah. You'll die doing that probably. It's way too dangerous. The podcast is over. Is it? Yeah. It's basically three hours. We did it.

Thank you, Matt Farah. That was a lot of fun, dude. Thanks, Joe. We got a little lit up. Tell some stories. Good times, man. Good times, my friend. And you can catch Matt online at TheSmokingTire on Twitter.

All one word. And what's your website? TheSmokingTire.com TheSmokingTire on Twitter. All one word. And what's your website? TheSmokingTire.com TheSmokingTire.com and the Drive Network. There's a bunch of shit that he has on YouTube on the Drive Network and you can find it online. It's all on YouTube, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lots of YouTube views. Yeah, and

you also have the old stuff is all the Smoking Tire, right? That's current too. We do them both. You can get, too. We do them both. You can get them all? I do them both. Yeah, drive and the smoking tire. So all your shit can be found, all the things you've done on YouTube. Fun stuff, dude.

Keep doing it. I really enjoy it. Thanks, man. Let's go outside and look at your car. I even enjoy that you did one of them when you had a bad back and you had another guy drive. I like that one. That was fun. That was the day before I had surgery, the Dodge Challenger.

Yeah, and you also did it with an Audi, the R8 V10. That was, I had a fucking torn ACL. Oh, wow. And you know who my substitute was? I hired a substitute that day. He's now the editor of Motor Trend. He is? Did he become the editor after that?

Yeah, he's the editor of Motor Trend. Oh, well, he was great. He was great. Yeah, he could do his own videos, too. He does. It's a broad market. Beautiful. He does at Motor Trend. he could do his own videos too. It's a broad market. Beautiful. He does at Motor Trend.

Follow him too, you fucks. Thanks to LegalZoom.com. Use the code name Rogan and save yourself some money from LegalZoom. Thanks also to, who do we have today? Audible. Audible.com. That's it. Audible.com, the number one provider of audio entertainment as far as audio books and podcasts and radio shows online.

More than 100,000 things to download. If you use the code name Rogan, go to audible.com forward slash Joe, rather. That's audible.com forward slash Joe. You can get one free audio book and 30 free days of Audible service. Try it. You'll enjoy the shit out of it. And Onnit.com. That's O-N-N-I-T.

Use the code name Rogan. Save 10% off. All right. That's it. Wait. It's fucking things over. Wait. Wait.

What? Todd Messero. Sci-fi.com. Oh, yeah. I have a TV show. Joe Rogan questions everything. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. I'm on Sci-Fi. When's that on again? Yeah, that's Wednesday night.-fi.com. Oh, yeah. I have a TV show. Joe Rogan questions everything. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

I'm on Sci-Fi. When's that on again? Yeah, that's Wednesday night. 10 p.m. Yeah, this one is Wednesday night, 10 p.m. We look at chemtrails and weaponized weather. Very interesting stuff. Sounds good.

Enjoy the shit out of it, freaks. And that's it. We will see you on Friday again on the podcast with Jimmy Norton. And that's it. We love you. Thanks, everybody. the podcast with Jimmy Norton. And that's it. We love you. Thanks, everybody. Big kiss. Thanks, Joe.

And Todd Misereau. All right. Holla. Holla. That was fucking great. Was that three hours? Yeah. What the fuck? It's fucking, it's 10.35 at night right now. Doesn't feel like it.

That was fun.