The Joe Rogan Experience - #404 - Greg Proops

Episode Date: October 14, 2013

Greg Proops is a stand-up comedian, also well-known for his improv comedy on the show "Whose Line is it Anyway?". He also currently hosts his own podcast called "The Smartest Man In The World", available on Spotify.

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! Good googly moogly, Greg Proops, holla Hey baby What's going on brother? Everything, I can't even begin to stop it Can't begin?

No, everything's going on, it's a nice day today. I'm excited to be out here. I don't get to Woodland Hills. Can I say where we're broadcasting from? Is it an undisclosed location? It's an undisclosed location, but you fucked that up. Wow. How dare you get real specific. Tarzana area.

And so, yeah, no, it's nice to be on Earth with you, man. It's nice to be on Earth with you as well. Rotating around. The smartest man in the world podcast. That's the one that that guy's name, the guy couldn't get the name right. Yeah, no, right. It's a hard one, man. It's difficult to remember. The Smartest Guy in the Room. Yeah, that

one, because there was, I think, a documentary about Enron that was called The Smartest Guys in the Room. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to be connected to that creepy shit. No, I don't. I watched that documentary. Was it any good? It was very strange. Yeah. It only makes sense, though. You know, I don't understand finances watched that documentary. Was it any good? It was very strange. Yeah. It only makes sense, though. You know, I don't understand finances, but the corruption of finances only makes sense to me. So a movie like Enron, where it turns out a bunch of dudes just fucking robbed everybody blind.

Yeah. I guess that's what people do. Rolling brownouts. Yeah. They get crazy. Yeah, they try to figure out more way to make money. But that's always the way it is. If you allow people to make the insane amounts of money and i'm not saying you shouldn't i'm not

i'm not you know i'm not necessarily uh socialisty in any way but if you allow people to get to that billion trillion that that fucking insane amount of influence level whoo that's slippery that gets really crazy well look at the world i mean that's what's going. Woo, that's slippery. That gets really crazy. Well, look at the world. I mean, that's what's going on right now. That's why the government's closed and shit. Exactly.

It's why the government's closed. It's why there's war. It's all these big groups. Because as individuals, because you imagine if the world consisted as only individuals, where there was only like a few people on the planet, and Russia was like, listen, we're going to go into Afghanistan, it as only individuals we were there was only like a few people on the planet and you know russia was like listen we're gonna go into afghanistan and we're gonna take your shit

and afghanistan was like one guy and you're like what are you talking about man yeah and russia was like one guy like why are you here like what are you doing man you got your spot i got my spot what the fuck's going on because i want your spot too man but because there's so many people then there becomes this weird diffusion of responsibility where we can somehow or another, even in this day and age, still justify all the crazy shit that we do. You mean like sending bombs around the world by remote control? Yeah, all that. Yeah, absolutely. That's really freaky. Yeah, it is. There's some numbers that are very disputed about. We were talking about it on the podcast.

Some sources say that 98% of the people that are killed are civilians. And then other people are saying, well, the reality is that the census is there. They're not that good. It's not that easy to tell how many people were killed. They'll exaggerate. There's a lot of lying going on. There's a lot of misinformation that comes back and forth from both sides. But either way, even if it's not 98%, how about let's make it 2%? 2% innocent is pretty fucked up.

And the other 98%, what exactly are they guilty of? What exactly are you doing where you think it's okay to launch missiles through the air? It's like some shit that we don't exactly know you know we we assume they're really really bad guys we have to take off this earth because they're involved in terror plots okay i believe that you know it's possible that that could be going on it could be going on but shit that's a crazy way to go and if a bunch of people are near you tough shit yeah i think for them it's a more economical way than sending an army, and it also plays to all the defense contractors because the kind of shit they have to use for that's most high-tech and most expensive.

And again, it's just like everything else in life. It's like just how the early days of samurai didn't want to adopt the gun, and it proved very costly. Like, we were always moving forward. Especially with weapons Yeah, these it's inevitable didn't you see Malala said to Obama yesterday? What do you say that she said the predator drones are creating terrorism? Yeah, I would imagine there. They are terror Yeah, terror from the sky. Oh, they're absolute terror

There's many definitions of terror and one is state-operated terror and that's what that is Yeah, and it's this this that the idea that it's somehow or another protecting us. I get that. I get that and I want to believe that. I really do. It's a huge violation of the Geneva Convention if anyone cares about the Geneva Convention anymore. It says explicitly you mustn't kill innocent children.

Yeah. They're not trying to, I guess. I don't know what the fuck is really going on. Obviously, I'm not there but the idea of it as just a complete objective person like looking at it from the outside is so science fictiony yeah it's so orwellian so weird it seems like something from a horror movie like from like 20 years ago a horror movie about the future. Right. Just like The Terminator. Right. I mean, it's not happening here. Pinpoint.

But it could. Shit, man. Of course it could. If that technology starts to evolve, people are going to want revenge for things that have been done to their communities. And that's where it gets fucking crazy. They're actually talking about launching blimps into the air to protect from missile attacks. Oh, God. Like World War I when they put a bunch of blimps up to fog the...

Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Wow. You hear all this crazy talk and you're like, Jesus Christ. How about everybody just work this shit out? Yeah. Do people really want to take those kind of risks and kill that many people?

Isn't it possible you guys can just settle the fuck down and everybody just talk things through? Not currently. But it might happen. Yeah, one day, right? There's been some years of peace in the last 500 years. What, about a couple, 25, 30 years? I don't know if there really has been. Have there ever in the world?

Not in the world. I mean, I've read statistics like that in different magazines where they'll say, like, in the last 500 years, there's been a cumulative 20-something. I don't know how they piece together the years of peace, whether that means one whole year in a row or whether it's part of a year and two weeks here and two weeks there. It doesn't seem like there's been peace ever since I've been alive. Yeah, I don't think there's ever been peace. If you're thinking about worldwide. I grew up with Vietnam. Yeah.

I mean, even if you just count America. Because after Vietnam, then, well, yeah, worldwide, it never stops. Well, there's always been some creepy shit going on, even when we weren't at war. I mean, we learned about the Oliver North trial and the Sandinistas and Nicaraguans and all that shit back when Reagan was in office. We didn't really know what was going on until that was coming out. So we were involved, you know, we were involved in all sorts of military shit even when we weren't officially at war. They got to get paid.

They got to get paid. They got to get paid a big sum. Drugs and money. Drugs too, for sure. And most likely drugs right now. And people don't want to admit that, but it is so obvious it's ridiculous. They have poppy fields everywhere. Yeah, Afghanistan is pretty important.

They increased the amount of heroin they grow once the U.S. invaded. Increased it. Yeah. I mean, I get it. I'm not saying you shouldn't make money selling heroin. Wasn't it the same thing in Vietnam with the Golden Triangle? Yes. Basically a heroin profit-making organization.

No one wants to believe that, and that's a problem. The problem is that a lot of people are averse to disturbing information. They don't want to believe it. They don't want to believe that at the highest levels of government, somebody must be selling some shit. No, they don't want to believe it. If you were the government and you knew, it's almost like a public safety thing. levels of government somebody must be selling some shit no they don't want to believe it like if you were the government and you knew like it's almost like a public safety thing to have the

government selling the coke and them being the big dealers rather than some crazy guy at least the government you know they probably have some fucking rules as to how they're gonna deal with their competitors and how they're gonna handle things things. They're going to ace them. I wonder. I mean, it's... Well, that brings me to the medical marijuana question, because having just been in Canada and in Denver and Washington, you know, on the one hand, I'm all for them being able to sell pot, but on the other hand, you're getting the government involved,

and that always is a little frightening to me. Unless you can get the government high and then get them involved. Then it would work out. That really is the only hope. I know that sounds so stupid. But the only hope for this culture that we have right now is that people get high and take another look and go, wait a minute. What are we doing? Get high somehow.

Get high through yoga if you don't want to smoke weed. But if you do want to smoke weed, the best thing to do is to smoke weed. Don't fuck around. Dive right in. Don't be a bitch. Take a look at this thing. This thing is crazy. This is a crazy, crazy world.

It doesn't make any sense to anybody. And no one stops and goes, hold up. Why do we keep doing it this way? Why are we keep doing this? Why do we keep doing the same shit that's been fucking up our ancestors? What do we do? I don't want to kill you. You don't need to kill me.

Let's talk this fucking shit out. That's the thing. I've never had anything against any of the countries we've been at war with in my entire lifetime. I never thought to myself, God damn it, fucking Iraq. Well, you know, it never really affected us personally. No. Except

people who lost friends and loved ones. Of course. And people who actually went over there. But yeah, it was too easy. It's too easy. It's starting these things, I mean. Starting them, you know. Well, it's too easy when you don't feel anything It's starting these things I mean. It's starting them. It's too easy when you don't feel anything. When you're over here, a human being is used to accepting the risks and rewards in its own environment. The other shit outside your environment is just so fake.

It's so abstract. It's so hard to wrap your head around the Great Wall of China. There's people on the Great Wall of China right now, and they're walking around. What are you talking about? That's going on right now on the other part of the world? It doesn't seem, I don't feel that here. So when bombs are dropping in Afghanistan or in Iraq or in Pakistan through drones, it feels like nothing over here. It feels just like someone walking in the Great Wall of China. We're too detached.

We're not getting the impact. If we were in the community, we'd see the fear and talk to people who are terrified and talk to people who lost loved ones because these bad guys are camping out in the same town as you. It's terrifying, terrifying shit. I think we're just so far away from it. We're getting the information, but we're so far away. It just doesn't seem real. No, there's a huge disconnect. And I think in the public discourse, an even bigger disconnect because of that. I think people have feelings and people have emotions and people know what's going on.

But I think that that emotional disconnect is a huge malaise that's gotten worse, I think, in the last few years. I think you're right. The economic pressure on top of it and the disconnection and the fact that it's become clear that the really, really wealthy, you know, it's going to be this way. They're not really willing to budge on it for the moment. Yeah, and there's only one way to stop that. You have to put a cap on how much money

someone can have, and that just doesn't seem right either. Well, no, we can't do that. It's like saying you have to have all the guns back tomorrow. That's not going to happen either. Yeah, that's even less possible. You know, I think it would be easier almost to put a cap on how much money you can make, as long as it was just

a preposterous cap. I'm not even averse to people making money. I would simply like them to pay their fair share of the fucking rent on this raggedy motherfucker. That's so big to me. I really wish that I trusted where it all went, but I think it's very important to me to pay up. There was a time when I was a kid where I didn't pay taxes for like shit.

It was like a year or something like that. Yeah, I didn't pay taxes for a year. I was just broke. I was a kid where I didn't pay taxes for like shit. It was like a year or something like that. Yeah, I didn't pay taxes for you. I was just broke. I was just too broke. And then when I got some money, then I got an accountant and paid all my back taxes. I just was barely getting by as a comedian. But I felt like such a loser. I felt like when I wasn't paying my taxes, I felt like a scrounge.

I felt like if you, in the principle of taxes, I'm not saying that they go to the right use. And I'm not saying that I agree with it, but with, with the decisions that our government makes. But I think that I very much agree with the idea of everyone contributing to the community. And I think that if it was managed really nicely, if there was a really like healthy police force filled with nice people who are just trying to help out and the same thing with governors the governors if they were really healthy and nice people who were just trying to really expand the community and not be influenced by special interest groups that want them to allow certain poisons to be stored and hurt holes in the ground and shit

if they weren't influenced by that then i would feel even better about it. I would really be happy about my contribution to our community. I think it's super important to pay taxes. Am I turning you down? No, no, I'm fine. Did you turn yourself down? I think I did. I think it is too. But I think it's like you say, there's just too much co-opting going on in the system. Well, it's too big. The problem I have is that the richest people want to keep talking about drowning government and stopping government because government's evil,

because government's this big boondoggle that people are sponging off of, but they're the ones sponging off of it. And then they don't pay any taxes because they avoid it. And you think, well, fuck you. You're not giving in, and you're not helping out on the other end, and you want to take away poor people's allotments.

And poor people aren't taking all the money away like if everybody that was a giant corporation paid their taxes there'd be plenty of money floating around yeah but the problem is it's not just how much money comes in the real problem then becomes what happens with that money who's handling this who's who's setting up these organizations yeah Honey, exactly. That's where our real problem lies. The Defense Department gets, what,

$600 billion a year or something? Oh, shit. They just go, I'll take that, bitch. Yeah, they get everything. They just backhand us to send us skidding across the floor on our ass.

Try to start a little health care and everybody has a fucking heart attack all up in this place. I am so ignorant when it comes to this Obamacare thing. I tried to pay attention to it, and I tried to read up on it,

but my ADD kicked in hard. Yeah, me too. It's perplexing. There's two issues. One, the one that's really weird is that it's already a law. Yes, correct. Okay.

The Supreme Court voted it in. So what the fuck, what are these guys doing? How can you resist a law? And that's not the way to voted it in. So what the fuck? What are these guys doing? How can you resist a law? And that's not the way to resist a law. That sounds like you think that your ideas are more important. Well, let me give you a bad analogy. In the 1870s after the Civil War, there was a big election between Tilden and Hayes. And it got thrown, like the Gore-Bush one, right? There was a lot of chicanery, a lot of jiggery-pokery, and a lot of vote fucking rolling and dead

people on the rolls and shit. And rather than throw it to the Supreme Court, they put a three-man panel together who put it down in Hayes' favor. Well, Tilden was more of a reformer and Hayes wasn't, and so Jim Crow was allowed to flourish after his administration. Jim Crow was against the law of the land because those laws had been put in the constitution. Yeah. When black men got the right to vote, that they were no longer property when they were no longer slaves. All those things are laws. So it's like, well, they did it anyway. They made bathrooms segregated

and restaurants segregated and the country segregated and they just fucking did it and like right now they don't want of the affordable health care act they don't want whatever obama they're unhappy with whatever the agenda is they're simply stopping it because they can constitute not constitutionally that you know organizationally within the right the rules of order they're allowed to pull this shit and uh

I think it's the same thing there was no point it ruined the country then that Jim Crow got in because if they'd kept it the way it was supposed to there was lots of black

congress people after the Civil War in the South and they were all Republicans because that was the party of abolition and then that turned

and so they that weren't having that after there was a party of abolition. And then that turned. And so they weren't having that after there was a dozen of them. It's like, let's not have that anymore. Let's see many black men speaking their mind from Alabama. And so they, you know, went back to miscegenation laws and Jim Crow. And I feel like this is the same thing in a very poor metaphorical way.

Like the Trayvon Martin case was a case of a person standing their ground, you know, like those laws. Those laws are an extension of the slave patrols when you didn't want black people wandering around at night and they simply weren't allowed to. And men gathered and rode around

and fucking rounded them up and shit like that. That's where those laws came from? Yeah, it's from the same time period after the Civil War and during the Civil War, before the Civil War. So it's an ancient same time period. After the Civil War and during the Civil War. Before the Civil War. So it's an ancient law then. It's as

old-fashioned as white guys having a fucking whiskey after work on the plantation. Why was I under the impression that the Stand Your Ground law was fairly recent? It is. I'm just saying the antecedent to it, what precedes it is hundreds of years of

let's make sure the undesirable people aren't in our neighborhood after dark. And by doing that, you've extended it technically. As you know, that jury ruled the way they were told to rule. They didn't go out of their way to find George Zimmerman innocent or whatever. The judge said you've got to go by the letter of this law and you're underneath all the blah, blah, blah. I'm not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV. I'm just an asshole with a big opinion. There's a, like almost every case,

there's so much involved in it that for an outsider like you or I to say that we know what happened, I always think that's so crazy. And no one knows what happened on the night. You know what I do know? I do know that it probably wouldn't have happened with a different kind of person.

Like if there's certain people. To be sure. There's certain people that can handle things socially without altercations. And then there's certain people who are really poor communicators. And they cause a lot of issues communicating with people. And then their arguments ensue that might not necessarily have had to. And might not have. had to and might not have if some cool dude who's like the security patrol guy right he's like what's going on man

everything cool just got some skittles i'm going have a good night brother yeah that's it like nice friendly you know maybe maybe this dude had been fucked with too many times by too many dickheads asking him questions and he was like yeah fuck you yeah right and he had built up you know did you see the kanye west jimmy kimmel interview i did not it's pretty interesting and kanye west was super uh honest about it you know they had this big twitter fight and one of the things kanye west said was like all these people were attacking him and so it had built up and then he just exploded on the one person that he actually knew. It was totally a disproportionate reaction. But it was just the same kind of thing.

It was this buildup that just didn't have an outlet, and then boom, and it just goes all into that. Yeah. No. And I think you're right. George Zimmerman was riding around, probably spoiling a little bit for a fight. Could be. He was clearly huffy about guys

in the neighborhood and shit and you know i mean and then it could also could be he's just a neighborhood watch guy and he's trying to do his thing and there's a lot of shady people in the neighborhood that's also possible could be he could be that's been a black community for a hundred years but i'm saying there's still a lot of criminals there's still a lot of kids just not saying just because it's a black community doesn't mean it's crime-ridden. No. But the big thing is that there was a lot of break-ins in that area, right? So he was – yeah, yeah, and he'd had run-ins with guys before.

Yeah. I think the thing is that's even more overarching than his reaction on the night to fucking shoot somebody was – which is horrible and tragic. shoot somebody was as uh which is horrible and tragic but uh it is like what what it did in a in a in almost a rodney king or oj way to the country to really be like a thunderclap that just fucked everybody over and you know again pointing out the inequity that there's two sets of laws one for the underclass and one for everybody else and that you know nothing's fair and and the racial divide and it's just something i thought was really destructive like as an emotional also the media of course you know amped it up to insane levels but it's true and and it's also something we're fighting through i think even with this shutdown i think is a if you look at the teams you know there's a racial element to

this that's undeniable that carries through in everything since this country was born. Well, do you think that if he was some white trash kid that was in the neighborhood, some angry white dude with like love and hate tattooed on his knuckles and Zimmerman shot him, do you think the same thing would have happened? I don't know. I think he might've been acquitted still because of the letter of that law. Well, he was

in his defense, and I'm not a Zimmerman apologist, and as I said, and I'll be super clear, I was not there. I don't know what happened. I would not say I know what happened. I don't know. I do know that Zimmerman's face was fucked up, and I do know he had

cuts in the back of his head from his head being bounced off the ground. So he was getting his ass kicked. And I've gotten my ass kicked before. And it's a terrifying feeling. Yeah, it is. And if he was getting his ass kicked and this guy was in danger of hurting him, that's the whole reason the law exists. Yes. You should be able to defend yourself with a gun because without a gun, you're at the mercy of this asshole who's beating the shit out of you.

Right. I'm not saying that he didn't instigate the fight. Right. I was going to say, I think the gray area comes with what preceded the fracas. But he could die there. Make no mistake about it. It's pretty easy for someone to die in a street fight. Oh, hell yeah, it is.

Especially with concrete. I was going to say, as soon as your head hits the fucking street. Super easy to get knocked out. Super easy to fall down, smash your your head and never be the same again like it's a really scary scenario so if you are fighting this kid who's like in better shape than you it's kicking your fucking ass like you're in danger of dying like that's real like your life is essentially in his hands he might punch you a few times when you out and walk away or he might stop you to death. He could do that if he wants

to. It's up to him. He's so enraged that you're in a physical altercation with your bodies where you're fighting for your life to the point where you have to pull a gun out. I think that the point was like, he's not a policeman and he challenged this guy. Did he though? Do we know that?

I don't know what happened. So that's the problem. From what they say. I'm not making any decisions. There was a police call and all that jazz, unless that didn't happen, according to the internet. Well, the police call definitely happened. But what's interesting about the police call that happened was that they edited it. They asked you, what does he look like? And he said, he's a black guy.

But when they played it on the air, they edited it. So they cut out the woman on the other end's question. So they changed it. There's this guy who looks suspicious. He's a black guy. So they edited out the question. They made it look like he was pointing out that he's a black guy because he thinks about it. The media was never so delighted.

All of a sudden, they were important again for a couple of weeks. No one's innocent in this. No one's innocent in this. No one's innocent in this. Of course, the number one tragedy is that this guy lost his life. I try to tell young men, if anyone who's willing to listen, avoid conflict at all costs. Thank you. At all costs. There's no need to fight people.

I was at the beach this weekend, and this guy was giving me the finger. This older dude, I don't think he knew who I was or had any idea that— You sure he wasn't a disgruntled listener? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think he had any idea that I was a nice person and that I could have talked him through this and everything could have been fine. But there was a bunch of kids playing. It was my friend's kids and my kids, and they were playing near this cove area.

And this guy had set up his blanket there on a public beach. But there's people all over the place. And these kids wanted to play in this cove area. And so this guy got so pissed off. We came here for a little peace and quiet. We didn't want people right on top of us. And I just smiled at the guy. I didn't say anything.

I just smiled at the guy. I'm like, it was so ridiculous. There's no way I'm going to even argue with you. You're at a public beach and little kids are playing. There's fucking people all over the place, man. Just because people came near you. You don't own the spot next to your spot. You don't have like a specific amount of room.

And the guy gives me the finger. And'm like you're so crazy like you're you're like in you're engaging someone you know nothing about yeah you don't know anything about me i could be a real mean guy and i could just decide oh you just gave me an excuse to beat the fuck out of you and there's nothing you're gonna do about it i'm just gonna grab you and start smacking you around and you're gonna be terrified and you gave me the green light you gave me the green light. You gave me the finger. Why'd you give me the finger, bitch? There's a lot of nutty people like that out there. So I saw this guy do this. I'm like, wow, have you never experienced a really crazy person before? Are you inviting crazy people into your life? Is that what you're doing? Yes.

People who do that with driving, too. They play games and cut people off and hit the brakes. I dated a girl who used to do that. She was a great, great person, but she was very competitive. When it came to driving, she got ultra competitive with people. And if people tried to cut her off, she would go into oncoming traffic and cut in front of them with me in the car. Oh, my God. And I was like, listen, you got to listen to me. You are going to get hurt.

You're going to hurt me. You're going to hurt them because they got in front of your car and they made you go your place two seconds later. This is crazy. Yeah, they did a douchey move. They suck at driving. You don't have to speed in front of oncoming traffic and cut them off. You have to let them know. Fuck them. You have to take.

I'm like, okay, you can't be serious. This is a nutty way of approaching life. You're going to make an enemy of a crazy person. Yeah, and create danger everywhere you go. You're going to do it in the wrong spot. There's a broad spectrum of people you can and can't piss off. And if you piss off the wrong people, you're in serious fucking danger. Oh, yeah.

That's the thing that drives me crazy about L.A. I mean, you're talking about this guy on the beach and stuff. People, the thing that, I think people in general are nice in L.A., except when they're behind the wheel. It really wears down on my soul here. Because there's no other city in the country where people treat you the way they do in L.A. I think we're panicking. I think everybody out here is. Yeah, there's so much traffic that people are just panicking.

They're just fucking trying to get home quicker and cut in front of people. I can't get out of my driveway. Madness. You know what it is? Yeah, there's so much traffic that people are just panicking. They're just fucking trying to get home quicker and cut in front of people. I can't get out of my driveway. Madness. You know what I mean? If I pull out of my driveway yesterday, a dude on Sunday, I go to my wife, watch this guy. He's going to try to pass me coming around the right. I'm just coming out of the driveway. And he, yep, speeded up, fucking went around, made it inches,. You know death defying Ben her fucking bullshit

I'm like then we were right behind him at the light and you're like well You're fucking 40 centimeters ahead of me did people got a big W out of that one people drive cars the way they live life Well, that's what I mean. It's like it reflects on everything. Yeah, you're strong. Can you open these? What are those they're mints? Can you open these? What are those? They're mints. Oh, no. It's like having an actress on this show.

Thank you, brother. Would you like a mint? That's so funny. I got one over here. Thank you. Mmm, yummy and delicious. Would you like a mint? I'm good at opening up mint tins.

Laugh at me and my inability to open this. Joe will attest that these, this tin, exactly. Those things are tricky. Are you good at jars? You know what? Back the fuck off my ass is what I'm good at. One and two, yeah. Sometimes it's a jar that I struggle with and I'm like, this is ridiculous.

Like, what if I was some old lady and I wanted to get a pickle? I'm never opening this. I'm going to have to open this with a hammer. Like, if I was an old lady and I got to one of them serious pickle jars, I was like, you can't open them, bitches. Right, right. Pop! That's why they have those tools, those little rubber things you put on the top

that grip it better and stuff. I used the kitchen sink gloves, but even then, sometimes, wow. Oh, that's a good call. That's good. You get a good grip. You need a grip. It, that's a good call. That's good. You get a good grip. You need a grip. It just seems like a silly thing. Like you're making these so hard to open.

Like it's almost you need tools. On the other hand, in the zombie apocalypse, you'll be able to swan into any jarred food store and really live off that shit for a while. The zombie apocalypse has already happened. Have you seen this crocodile drug that came from Russia? Crocodile, they're calling it, or something like that. It's a supplement for heroin, for people who don't have heroin

or they want to try this when they're sick of killing themselves with heroin. And it actually rots skin away. Wow. Like literally giant chunks of flesh, exposed bone on all these people that are taking it. It's here in Los Angeles now too. Yeah, I've heard. It's insane. It's the highest level. Now how did you pronounce it? I think it's Crocodile. I've only seen

it written. I haven't. I know Vice has a documentary on it, but I didn't watch it. Yeah. It's so depressing, man. Oh my God. Last time I was here it was bath salts. Mmm, that's right. This one when that dude ate that dude's face. Right? Wasn't it? Around that same time? It turned out to be just weed and he just had

the munchies. That's what they said. It was weed. But the problem with that is, of course, you know that weed stays in your system for many, many weeks. That's why fighters take five weeks off and they still get popped because the weed just shows up in your system. It's really hard to get weed out of your system. He probably wasn't really high. He probably just had gotten

high. And the thing about testing them for bath salts is there is no test for bath salts. That's the big trick. So when they say that there was nothing, or the only thing that we found in his system was marijuana, they're not saying he wasn't on bath salts. They're just, they're not admitting that they don't have a test for the fucking for these crazy drugs that people just keep inventing. They don't have tests for them. So they're just saying, well, he was high on marijuana. And there's new drugs basically every week. There's new drugs because there's just people tinkering all the time.

I just got so tired of people trying to pretend that that was actually what happened. The guy got high and ate this dude's face. No, no, no. That's some silly shit. Yeah, it was. But this crocodile or whatever it is is the latest, greatest, and the most disturbing by far. That's wild.

It's really. I'll show you some pictures. Do you want to see some pictures? No. I'm really sensitive and I was going to eat some barbecue later, so I have two issues. It won't hurt, yeah. You're old and wise enough to know it doesn't matter you'll just be able to separate and enjoy your ribs just dig right in it really does look like some walking dead shit though ew it really is like people just have giant chunks rotted away from their skin and they're still alive somehow jesus fucking christ what kind of high makes you want to do that?

That's so good that you're like, shit's... Right, first it falls off and you're like, okay, I'm still gonna do it. It's a couple more. Yeah, and how long

does it take before it makes your skin fall off? Does it happen right away and that's why everybody has their skin fall off? Or is it like,

you have to be a real asshole and stick with this fucking drug for six months, you know, waiting for it to rot your skin away. Waiting for it. People are just so self-destructive. What the fuck is that, Greg Proop? I don't know, buddy.

I'm sitting right here and I can hear you. Yeah, what is that? I mean, like you say, I think, what did you say about a lot of people are panicked? I think there's too many of us. Is that all of those? Yeah. When you look at rat population density studies, I listened to some online talk by, I believe it was Art Bell was talking to Terrence McKenna. And they were talking about population density studies they did on rats,

and that at a certain point in time, you get enough rats in the room, rats start doing crazy shit. Like, if you have one or two rats in the room, everybody's cool. You have 100 rats in the room, things get a little sketch. Yeah, yeah. When you put 5,000 rats in that room- Yeah, they start eating each other. They start eating each other.

Some of them will hide in the corners and just nod. They mimic human crazy behavior. Right, right right I think we're not supposed to we're I don't think we're designed I think we're improving but I don't think we're necessarily designed to be around this many fucking people and it is pretty dense that yeah especially Los Angeles even though Los Angeles will leave more spread out than like say New York or something yes it's definitely more spread out than New York like and The thing about Los Angeles is most people, if you live in a house, you probably have, like, a yard.

Yeah. You know, people that have a yard, that's a nice thing to have. Yeah, it is. It's a privilege. You don't get that in New York. Oh, no. If you're in New York City, good fucking luck. You might get a little terrace.

Yeah, if you're rich. Or a flower box. You got a little flower box. It's concrete everywhere. That would suck. Fuck that. Well, it's interesting, though, man. It's concrete everywhere. That would suck. Fuck that. Well, it's interesting though, man. It's close. Yeah, it is.

There's a lot of benefit to New York. It's weird, but you're basically on a buzz all the time. Because like it or not, the people around you influence the way you feel, the energy that you have. And New York is like this moving town. There's so much going on there's so many people you just go all right here we go like it almost like pops you up a notch and you know i think there's something to that i think there's something to to the the juice that you get from being around that many people but it's not for everybody no it isn't but you do

feel like something's going on and you might be missing it? Yes. I like that, too. I like San Francisco. Well, one, I'm from there. But in the daytime, you can be around people if you want. And then, like, I always find that there's always unbelievable empty, quiet spaces no matter where you go in San Francisco, even in the middle of the day or night or Friday night. It's never as bustling as New York.

Well, it's an unusually smart town. I mean, I think New York is kind of unusually smart in a lot of ways, too. There's obviously a lot of dumb people all over the land. But there's the high pockets of smart people that you can meet at the museum in New York, or the high pockets of smart people that you can meet in a million different places in San Francisco. I mean, that is literally the tech capital of this country. The brightest minds from Google and Apple, they're all in that Northern California area. So if you thought about that and just that as a city, that's got to be one of the best congestions of minds that we have.

Little douchey. It's impossible to not be. that we have. Little douchey. San Francisco, it's impossible to not be. You know, it's impossible to not be if you've been uber successful

with a bunch of different companies and a lot of just really smart people. It's just, I think it's probably the smartest spot in the country. The concentration is certainly intense. I feel it when I perform there. Oh yeah, you do.

Because people know what's going on. Yeah. They just seem more, they seem really tuned in. I did one of my specials, my 2006 Shiny Happy Jihad. I did it at Cobb's, and it's one of my favorite ones. I just always felt like San Francisco audiences have just, there's something about them. You know, they're just like one notch smarter.

It's certainly my favorite crowds. I've always loved them. Just one notch. I think the LA crowds, it depends on where you play, can be really, really amazing. You can get one notch smarter here, too. And by the way, you can get one notch smarter in Columbus, Ohio. Of course you can.

If they come to see you, if the people know you. But I just always found that coming up, they almost demanded more, too. I think so. I mean mean i came from san francisco from the old days you know from the 80s and uh there was a lot of really creative comics and if you were hacky in any way that was kind of frowned upon and it was really important to keep pushing the conceptual envelope and stuff like that we were famous for never succeeding in la you know

on stage because the ideas were too abstruse and stuff. And then, of course, now everyone that I know in L.A. is from San Francisco. Well, don't you think that comedy has just evolved so much since then? You know, the public's perception of comedy as well because of the internet. I think people have just a way broader palette of what they enjoy. Also, the scene was fueled by the club scene then, and it's not as much anymore. Yeah. Yeah, they do have a way broader palette of what they enjoy. Also, the scene was fueled by the club scene then and it's not as much anymore.

Yeah. Yeah, they do have a way broader palette. Yeah, the scene was all about the club scene now. It still is, kinda. Yeah. I mean, there's still spots

like, you know, The Cellar in New York that just draws people to it or the Improv in Hollywood draws people to it. The Comedy Store, of course, you know. There's always gonna be that,

but I think that the ability to promote on the internet is the thing that changed comedy the most to it. The comedy store, of course. There's always going to be that. But I think that the ability to promote on the internet is the thing that changed comedy the most over the last few years. Absolutely. And it's allowed us the luxury of taking back the means of production and removing a lot of

middlemen that were not it turns out necessary. And it also allows Greg Proops to be Greg Proops. Yeah. Like, you can do your podcast and no one gives you a hard time about anything. You make all the decisions. It's not even a compromise necessary. Like, hey, Greg, I was thinking today, because it's President's Day.

Right. Like, maybe you just do this thing about presidents. I'm like, hey, fuckhead. You know? Like, go make your own podcast. Okay? Everybody has ideas. Yeah. That they want, hey, fuckhead. You know, like, go make your own podcast, okay? Everybody has ideas that they want to stick in your face. And they might be good ideas.

But I don't want to listen. Now, and that's the thing that's so great about this is the, like you say, just the unbelievable self-determination and freedom. And I take responsibility for it. If the show sucks, I'm like, that one wasn't as good or, you know, I'll try to do it better. I listen to them back and think,

that could have swum a little more. It's just so effortless, you know, I mean, without being effortless. It always requires, like,

I always feel like podcasts, the most important thing is that I just be paying attention to what the fuck's going on in the world. As long as you're paying attention to what's going on in the world,

there's always going to be something to talk about. Always. We live in the most bizarre time ever and we're the most, like's always going to be something to talk about. Always. We live in the most bizarre time ever and we're the most content-rich comedians ever. Oh my God. There's some insane new story

that you can't fucking believe is real but is about a clam and a penis and a fucking, who knows? You know what I mean? There's always some new fucking insane story. It's like you never run out of comedy. It's impossible today.

No, and that's what someone said. I do mine by myself and they go, don you never run out of comedy. It's impossible today. No, and that's what someone said, like, I do mine by myself and they go, don't you run out of material? And it's like, really? Not today. No.

Not anymore. Because all I have to do is go on the internet and read a paper and do this and talk to people and there's 5,000 things. Do you infiltrate

other communities that you don't agree with? Do you ever, like, go to, like, really conservative websites or either forums? I do. And I'll go to, I'll watch.

Infiltrate. Yeah. I think you have to. I was just reading, speaking of infiltrating, there was an interview and I think it was New York magazine with, uh, Antonin Scalia.

And, um, they asked him the question of what did you, what do you read in the morning and shit? And he said, uh, I read the Washington times and the wall street journal. journal and the guy goes you don't read the post and he goes i used to read the post but i found that everything was too liberal and then he went

and the guy went so no new york times at all and he was like no i never read the new york times and i thought okay look i'm a comedian I have no responsibility to the public I'm not holding a sinecure position where I'm adjudicating on fucking matters of grave national importance every day of my life and writing opinions and being a deciding vote on a fucking panel of nine people who were hand chosen by psychopaths and yet I have the cathelosity of taste to fucking watch Fox News every once in a while. Right. And I don't go, oh, my God.

You know, like you just go like you can't read the New York Times because it upsets you too much. And you're a justice. Like how narrow is your fucking purview? You know what I mean? Like why not just say I don't believe anything. You know, and then he talks about how he believes in the devil and whatnot. And you're like, we're getting kind of weird here with the justice.

Like, I mean... Who said he believed in the devil? Antonin Scalia. Oh, no, he didn't. Yeah, he... Go online, look up the interview, when you read it, you'll just... But all I could think of was, fuck you, man. I read Fox... I'll read, because I read news stories on my

show, and I'll say, this is from this, and obviously I read a lot from The Guardian or Truthout or whatever, but I'll also go, this is from Fox News or this is from CNN or this is from a right-wing,

The Wall Street Journal. I read a piece from The Wall Street Journal about the fucking former head of Sheridan Lehman and shit, because Richard Fold, someone said, he's a survivor, and I said,

he's a fucking criminal. He started a new company on Wall Street, and oh, we're a survivor. And I said, he's a fucking criminal. You know, he started a new company on Wall Street and oh, we're supposed to feel sorry for him that he's so brave that he weathered the 2008 collapse. Like you engineered it. Even people in the financial community blamed him for it. And it was like, well, a survivor? That's a quote.

You can paint things in a beautiful, artistic way. But I mean, Scalia said that. And so when you asked me, do I infiltrate? It's like, no. Do I watch a beautiful artistic way but I mean Scalia said that and so when you ask me do I infiltrate it's like no do I watch a steady diet of Fox News no

do I read right wing news sites all the time no do I try to read stuff from all over the world from different points of view

yeah why Greg because it's interesting you don't have to agree with everything you read and I always say

this to people about comedy the people that come and see you and don't like your politics and then get up in a huff and fuck off i always think you're not sophisticated right you're not sophisticated and i don't mean that in like

a smart or like you went to college way i mean uh there are people who have no education who can understand a whole bunch of ideas at once and see the humor of them you know what i mean well there's some people there's lines you cannot cross. Their pea brains won't allow it. But that's what I mean. That's a subject that's off limits. Mostly, I find that if you are disagreeing, I remember last year, or two years ago when the election was going, I did

a joke in Eugene, or Portland, or no, one of the places in Oregon. It wasn't Eugene, which is wicked liberal, but it was like, I don't know where the fuck it was in Oregon. It was a city in Oregon. I said something, I of the places in Oregon. It wasn't Eugene, which is wicked liberal, but it was like, I don't know where the fuck it was in Oregon. It was a city in Oregon. I said something. I said the Republican nominees aren't just the worst group of nominees

I've ever seen from the Republican Party in my lifetime. They're the worst group of people I've ever seen in a room, and started to go through them. And when it was Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich, and someone in the back yelled, No!

It was like, No, you don't get to veto. J jokes. And a guy, I'm not kidding. A guy wrote me the other day on my email. Like I take email from people and I read it. I don't always answer, but, and he wrote, I was at your show in Chicago and it was a podcast. So my podcast is not advertised as a standup show. It says podcast, you know, like, and therefore there's a different thing that's happening. It's a lot more real, as you know. And he wrote me and he said, I didn't spend this 20 bucks or whatever to hear your fucking politics,

and I didn't think it was very funny, and anyone that would like this show would be half-wit and shit. So normally I would just block him, but I thought, I'm going to write him back. And I wrote, your hostile tone is not conducive to discourse. And understand this, you chose to come in the room and you paid. If you'd asked for a refund at the time, that's another matter. And I go, and by the way, after the show's over,

you don't get to email the artist and ask for your money back because you disagreed with them. You take your chances whether you go to see a symphony or a movie or a fucking whatever it is you're going to go see, man. When you go to Jack in the Box, you might not like them sausages, but you don't get to fucking write me after and tell me you want your money back and then say everyone that liked it was a moron when he was the only one who didn't like it.

And it's like, I don't understand that. Well, there's always going to be people that can't wrap their head around the idea that there's different people and different people like different stuff. Yeah. And if you don't like something, it's okay. It's totally okay. Are other people enjoying it? Yeah. Well, then, you know, that's for them and it's not for you.

Right. But the anger, like, letter, like, I don't like your politics and all that fucking, that wasn't very funny and the people are assholes and he's just sending that letter you're an asshole you mean you might want to tell one of your friends like i didn't have a good time he's talking all this liberal shit trayvon martin's by the way the night yeah the night i i did it uh it was uh uh the 50th anniversary of the march of on washington of for jobs and freedom and i played a clip of martin luther king's speech, the part, I have a dream and shit, because I didn't think the crowd had heard it before

because a lot of young people haven't heard it. I have a dream. Exactly. And everybody listened really intently. And I thought, this is what you objected to? You objected to the biggest cry for peace in the last fucking 50 years? Well, what were the other controversial points

that were discussed in the podcast? Oh, I think there was a vote rigging. I assert, and I will stand by this, that voter fraud in this country is non-existent in the way that the media would make you wish that it existed. Poor people are not pitching up in their millions to polling places and trying to fob off bad ID or whatever. And then, you know, like a lot of states have done this whole voter ID thing and people

go, why shouldn't you have to show ID? Let me hip you to something. About 10 to 15% of this country has no money at all. And those people don't have bank accounts, phones, televisions, computers, or IDs. Yeah. They're ad hoc doing that shit. They don't just have it. And like, for instance, I was on a show and a conservative lady said. They don't just have it and like for instance

I was on a show and a conservative lady said why shouldn't people have to show IDs and I said My mother who passed away this year was 94. I said my mother doesn't have an ID She's voted in every election since Roosevelt's first one. Are you gonna deny her the vote? What do you do? How do you go? How do you go about? On the voter roll you come up and you say your name and they'd see it on the roll So what if I walk up and I say I'm Greg Proops? Yeah, but you're not Greg Proops.

Who's doing it? I think I'm going to vote for Greg Proops. Where do you live, Greg? Don't tell me. Woodland Hills. Shit. Greg Proops. Cut that part out. It's too late. It's live. Oh, shit. Fuck. I'm sorry. Anyways, and a woman said there was a case in Illinois

My point is, government's inactors restrictive voter laws That's what's going on with voter fraud Making students not be allowed to vote that are in North Carolina College students not letting them use their student ID to vote When you're living for two or three years And you're an out-of-state student living in North Carolina You will now not be able to use your voter ID. See, that's a restrictive law.

If you're over 18 and you're registered to vote, no matter what state you're in, oughtn't you be able to vote in the place that you – that's just one example. But I mean like – That's a bunch of liberal hooey. I am made of liberal hooey. I live on a bale of hay made of hooey. Poor people need to think about putting less money in your grill. Exactly, man. And more money in your ID collecting.

If we're going to let the cast of Winter Bone vote, then I want to vote. That's all I'm saying. At a certain point in time, isn't everyone going to need ID, though? It almost seems like they're going to force it on us. Joe, I agree with you. And they do and everything that everything that we possess has a code in it and it can your wallet and everything in your wallet can be read from you know miles away yeah yeah and and all that shit you know because of the ide chips that are in everything and oh and your phone is on all the time we know

this is just obvious shit now but your phone is a tracking device. Right. But I'm telling you that people who live day to day, for instance, if you see homeless people, which you do in Los Angeles, they don't have a cell phone and an ID card. Right. You know what I mean? Like the idea that everyone has a computer is a real white people middle class idea. Right. Around the world of the five billion of us i guarantee you it's not that many it's not the majority of people with a computer because there's lots of other countries like unless you think every single human in africa has a computer if you know what i'm saying i mean they

must by now if they don't i'd like them to subscribe to the thing i'm selling on my podcast it's pretty fascinating when you think about how vast the difference is between the people in the poorest parts of the world and the people in the richest parts of the world and the difference in what life is. And from the jump, you didn't do anything wrong. You just got the worst hand of cards ever, and you wound up in an incredibly poor country, and no one has shoes.

Or something terrible happened, like you're a middle-class person living in Syria or Iraq or whatever, and all of a sudden the shit hits the fan and now you have to move to a camp because your neighborhood got blown to shit. Fuck. You know, there's a lot of different...

Speaking of which, can I plug my comedy special? Oh, hell yeah. On this delightful, upbeat note. We were talking about people around the world possessing computers. If you do possess one, you can download my comedy special. Well, hell yeah, Greg Proops. On this delightful, upbeat note. We were talking about people around the world possessing computers. If you do possess one, you can download my comedy special. Well, if you're listening to this

and you don't have something, well, can you do it on a phone? Can you download it on a phone? I expect you could, yes. Well, there you go. Then you can even get it on your phone. Put it on your phone. Put it on your friend's phone

and then sit behind them. If you're listening to this, it's impossible that you don't have access to Greg Proops' comedy special. You can get it. It's at chill.com slash proops or gregproops.com and I think it's $5.99.

I think it's $4.80 now. I think it goes up to $5.99 when it comes out. I shot it live at Musso and Frank's. You know that joint? Oh, that place in Hollywood? Oh, what an amazing idea. Yeah. I didn't even know they did shows there.

They don't. My manager came to me and said, I've got it. Musso's is perfect for you. And I was like, it they did shows there. They don't. My manager came to me and said, I've got it. Musos is perfect for you. And I was like, it is perfect for me. So I say a bunch of quotes from all the writers that drank there. Like Bukowski said, never get up before noon. And what is it?

Faulkner said, time is dead as long as it's being clicked off by little wheels. Only when the clock stops does time come alive. And I said, Musos is where the clock stops. And time comes alive. Because it's always the past, though. It feels like it. It looks like it. You can get that vibe, you know. And that place has been around for a long time.

1919. It's such a beautiful place. I love those old Hollywood joints like Dantana's. Yeah, me too. Those places are amazing. Because it feels like when you go to them that you're entering into a time machine. Yeah. You're going to a place that hasn't changed much in so many years. Not even the menu or the smell.

The bread. They give you celery and shit. You know what I'm saying? So good. Stuffed celery, yeah. The food is incredible too. They have the best steak in Hollywood because they don't fuck around. No, no. It's really simple. They know what i'm saying like so good the food celery yeah food is incredible too they have the best steak in hollywood because they don't fuck around no no it's really just a steak they know what they're doing they know exactly how to cook it yeah and they always get the best meat

like they've been around forever they have these relationships probably with butchers they go back to the 20s oh everybody wears jackets man it's insane it's good yeah those old joints are fucking amazing it was so much fun to do it there. You sat down? No, I saddled for a little bit of it. Oh, yeah. There's the preview. Oh, look. You're showing the preview.

Well done. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, I had a little table that I could sit at and drink if I wanted to. But you walked around? I just stood on the floor of the restaurant, yeah. And I had a band. I had a little jazz band behind me and shit.

What a great idea. That was great fun, man. What an original idea congratulations thanks man it looks really nice they shot it really beautifully that's a beautiful idea I love it

wow yeah we just had a light and a couple cameras and some smoke smart we did it on Sunday afternoon and everybody could drink and people really drink

that's awesome how many shows did you do one or two dude I did one with no retakes wow we did like two little things from another angle and that was it And people really drink. That's awesome. How many shows did you do? One or two? Dude, I did one with no retakes. Wow. We did like two little things from another angle, and that was it. We struck. Like I did an hour, and then a boom, it was over.

So there was no doing that joke over or no fixing that or no anything. Those are terrifying. Yeah. Believe me, I had a drink, and I just fucking kaboom, you know.. Those are terrifying. Yeah, I was, I, believe me, I had a drink and I just fucking, kabam, you know. Right. Did it. Yeah, there's a lot of, like, really great comics. If you watch their specials, you never got them at full

bore because you got, like, this sort of awkward version of them. The perfect example is one of Bill Hicks' biggest specials. He did it in London and it was a huge crowd. Oh, the one where he rides over the bridge and it's on fire? Yeah, he comes out to Stevie Ray Vaughan, or Voodoo Child, rather.

You know, Jimi Hendrix. And he's got a cowboy hat on. He feels stiff to me. It's stagey. He feels like, hey, he got one shot at doing this big special in this giant place. Well, he rides through a hoop of fire into the stage. There was something along those lines, right?

It was like that. He does come over the London Bridge on a horse. I remember that. That's hilarious. No, my friend Chris Bull directed that and that was his whole concept for him. You're this warrior poet and you're a cowboy and we're going to do this and do that. But I agree with you. It puts a lot on. I much prefer to,

oh God, don't ever show me myself. I'm going to wear a fucking Jawa outfit. Oh. Yeah. I much prefer being able to just stand on the floor

of this restaurant and have a drink. Yeah. And it didn't feel that pressure packed. And it was all, you know, friends and people and friends of friends. That sounds awesome. And you could drink. Yeah. And it didn't feel that pressure-packed. And it was all, you know, friends and people of friends' friends.

That sounds awesome. And you could drink. It was Sunday afternoons. Everybody had a couple drinks. There's so many of those little cool spots like that in Hollywood. You know, the Comedy Store, of course, is one of them.

The Rainbow. The Rainbow. God, that place is so weird. Yeah. That's like going back into a talking video or something, man. That is... And those people still go there, man. Oh, do they? Yeah, it's their spot. Oh, yeah. That's like going back into a talking video or something, man. And those people still go there, man. Oh, do they?

Yeah, it's their spot. It's their spot. The Rainbow. That's so funny. I forget what I was doing up there. I was going to some show business thing, and I went in the Rainbow to have a beer and use the bathroom. The food's good there, too.

I did comedy there. Did you really? Is it upstairs? Yeah, at the very top. Yeah. It's in the round where you have to just kind of walk around as people all around you that's hilarious I did one bar on Hollywood was the red something or another that used to be on sunset what

was the red no no it's they just closed that it was a weird place it was like you're you what you're doing red rock yeah it was like you were doing comedy in somebody's attic yeah It was so strange. It really felt like an attic. They just reopened it and I guess they made that top part bigger because now it's a piano bar or something weird like that. Holy cow. That's when you know comedy's failed.

We're lost to a piano bar. Or when it's Howl at the Moon when it's the two dueling piano guys. Oh, no. Greg Proops, stop it. I hate that shit. Well, that's one of the beautiful things about the Addison, Texas improv. Addison, Texas. It's right next door to it.

Yep. So dudes would come out of there. You'd be lit up, and you're like, come on, man. Let's go play some fucking piano. Woo! And then, you know,

people would be singing back and forth and dueling. Pittsburgh improv. It's in a mall. The other bar there is the Hell of the Moon. I think the last time I played there, I got in. You know, you get the night early because you got to do the radio

the next day. There's nothing around but that. So I went there and had a few drinks. Did you get lit up? Oh, yeah. Because after you're there for a while, you're just like, who's sadder? The people that are here or me?

Because I'm here and I had to do this. You know what, man? Nothing sad about it. Just get it. You're going to be wherever you are. There you be. Well, I was. I had a few drinks.

So you're at how at the moon taking in an experience, having a little alcohol, little person to person. And I listened to some jams that I hadn't heard in a while. There you go. Some old Leonard Skinner, something like that. Yeah. Yeah, those places are despicable. They should be stopped. It's kind of a weird...

I don't understand... Well, I mean, yeah. I don't know. They're fun. It's fun, right. It's like fun for people. I get it that people want to have fun, but as I always say on my show,

I'm sure to shit on something you love. Yeah, but you know what, man? Like you said, it's good to see all kinds of stuff. I personally like some country western. Even silly stuff like Toby Keith. I like some Toby Keith songs. I think they're good. I know they're silly lyrics.

I don't care. I think they're good. It doesn't bother me. I enjoy it. I enjoy a lot of shit. I can put myself in a lot of different mindsets for a goof. Did you get Miley's new CD yet?

Oh, dude. It's the best she's ever done. Jaggers? Bangers? Bangers. I love it. Bangers. You broughters. I heard it's doing really well though. Don't ask me how I know or care. Britney Spears is in it. Not in the music business. She's in it? Yeah, she does a song with her.

Wow. It's really cool. So you're really doubling down. Yeah. I also bought Journey's Greatest Hits, which I highly recommend that, too. Journey's Greatest Hits? Yeah. Journey has some strong songs.

A lot of people don't want to admit it. I love them. A lot of people don't want to admit it, but Journey had some fucking strong songs that if you're by yourself, you'd get pretty excited if they came on the radio. No one doesn't admit it to you. That fucking, it's just a small town square. Oh, yeah. That one dominated the world.

So much so that I was in Nashville like a year ago. And you know how there's that, what's the name of the main drag in Nashville where all the country bars are or whatever? And, you know, we were drinking up and down the street after the show. And we went to a country bar where it was like country open mic. So there was the sexy dude who had the leather vest. And he sang the Charlie Daniels one. You just leave this long-haired country boy alone. Right?

And then every type of open mic country. And then there was a band that got up. Then this girl got up, this blonde girl. And she fucking sang Journey and you're like we're in Nashville and the place lit up man and it was like

as soon as she went she's just a small town squirrel the whole place like fucking and I thought you know fuck yeah yeah

that Who's Crying Now that's a great song wonder that's a great fucking song if you're by yourself you will get very excited when that song comes on If you run a bunch of chicks

You know If they know you You can let them know They enjoy a little journey Yeah That's one of my New guilty pleasures It's one of those things

That people will judge you on Yeah Oh yeah they do judge you Like my friend Joey Joey Diaz He gets really mad At Eddie Bravo For Eddie Bravo

Loving Kiss Really And I've told him I'm like I'm sorry, I'm sorry, dude. I love some Kiss. You're fucking 45 years old, Joe Rogan. Why the fuck you listen

to that shit? Why the fuck you listen to that shit? You're telling me that's one of the greatest albums of all time. Suck my dick. And he'll just,

he just goes off. You can't enjoy, you can't, no one ever said it was the greatest album of all time. No. You can't enjoy it.

You can't enjoy it. I want to rock and roll all night. It's a great fucking song. I think they're magnum. It's a fucking great song. Detroit Rock City is a fucking great song. I'm not sure. I saw them a long time ago in the 70s.

On the night Elvis died. Wow. That was pretty weird. How old were you? 16, 17. I think he died on my sister's birthday. And Elvis did. Yeah.

Everybody died that year. Wasn't it 77? Yeah. Because I think Bing and Chaplin died that year, too. Big year for show business, yeah. Wow. Yeah, but I went to see Kiss. I've told the story before

but at the end they've been screaming all night and they spit blood and they spit fire and they're on platforms like green elevators and shit and you know they did all their numbers

and they did Detroit Rocks and I sold a joint to a 10 year old and whoa yeah you're a fucking gangster back there oh dude

that's you know why that's how I roll and we drove up from St. Carlos to the Cow Palace. And I remember at the end of the show, Gene Simmons goes, We'd like to dedicate this next song to the king of rock and roll, Elvis Bentley. And then they did Joe Hustler. That might be the worst Gene Simmons impression the world has ever known.

I can't do him. Maybe it was Paul. Gene Simmons has a deep voice. Well, they screamed everything. They would scream. Maybe it was Paul then because Paul does this. It's probably Paul.

And anyways, they played Jailhouse Rock but like Kiss. So it was like, One, two, party up the town in jail. Hum, hum. You know.

Right. You know, like, they didn't like pep up the beat. And I remember turning to my friend in the depths of my drunkenness and we drank like a jug. In those days, you used to bring plastic jugs full of vodka. Right. You could bring a plastic jug in and if it had lemonade, you know.

We didn't have sports bottles. We had plastic jugs, remember? Yeah, I remember those. And so like, yeah, even in the depths of my degradation at that point, having sold weed to a child and was pretty drunk, I turned to him and went, why are they playing jealous rock? And then the next morning, of course, Elvis dies at 44 or whatever. It would have been pretty badass if they did it like in a totally different musical style.

Right, than their own. Yeah. Yeah. If they did it like, went to a party in the county. Right, right, no. If they really did it, you're like, holy shit. Let's rock. Wow, wow.

Yeah. You know, no. No, they did it in a kiss. So it was a thundering. It's not the same song. It was like God of Thunder if the words were jailhouse rock. That's another good song.

Yeah. Fuck you, Joey Diaz. How dare you? They're not the best group of all time. They're not. Listen, man. I don you They're not the best group Of all time They're not Listen man I don't think there is

The best group But I think There's sometimes Where Kiss is the best group Because that's what You want to hear At that moment That might be true

Sometimes I just like I'm looking through my iPod And I'm like Yeah let's listen To a little of this And then sometimes It's the Stones And then sometimes

It's something else I will play A little group called Whitesnake doing Here I Go Again. Here I go again. I've told this story many times, but I'll tell it again. I was in a car accident. This was when I was 21. I had this girlfriend who was 25, and she used to tell me what to do.

She was so hot, though. But we got in a car accident, and I was pulling out the stuff from my car because he had to tow my car away. Yeah. Some dude ran the light and smashed into me. And she made me throw out my white snake. What? She was like, why do you still have this?

Throw this away. And I was like, what? Here I go again on my own. Chugga-chong-chong. Going down the only road I've ever known. Chugga-chong-chong. Like a jifter, I was born to walk alone. And then Tawny Katane puts her thing in your face. She was my drug dealer, though. Really?

Well, she had pussy. That was my drug dealer. Yeah. She was my drug dealer. When I was 21, pussy was the greatest drug of all time. It took me a while to understand Why we wound up in these relationships Where people would just be completely unreasonable And we wouldn't get along at all

Then I realized, oh, I'm like a druggie I'm like a druggie for pussy Because there's something at the end of this argument This is not like a relationship This is the type of person Or the person that you want to be with This is a person you can tolerate Because you guys like to fuck each other

It's not healthy It's not a good way to go about it type of person or the person that you want to be with. This is a person you can tolerate because you guys like to fuck each other. Yeah. It's not healthy. It's not a good way to go about it. Well, it's short term. It is. It's not the long game. The long game. To avoid argument at all costs, Greg Proops. You know it, man. And it's something that you never

learn. It's horrible. Stay off the moors. Yep. Stick to the road. No. She kept it going. The point is, why do I have to feel like I'm right ever? You don't. If you didn't, then all relationships would be smooth sailing. Sometimes.

Sometimes people just have fucking hormonal swings. Yeah, that's true. Sometimes people just have weird career paths in their life. It's weird dating someone who's going through a real rough spot in a career like i never realized how women um get so much more emotional about like work kind of stuff than my guy friends did like when i was dating i was dating this girl and she was having this hard time with her uh her job and you know her career was kind of in shambles and she the way she was looking at it was so

emotional like crying and this isn't working and what am i gonna do whereas if it was one of my guy friends they'd be like dude i'm getting fucking fired right like this sucks i think i'm thinking about doing this i might be doing that my uncle knows this i told my brother and he told you know there's a plan there's some shit in motion there's get going whereas like for some women the struggle of like dealing with like personal failures or dealing with um work type failures becomes super super impactful and i think that's a weird thing for guys to wrap their heads around. And I'm not discounting the fact that a lot of guys have a lot of big-time emotional connections with things that go wrong at work, too.

But I've never seen it from my guy friends like I had seen it from girls that I dated. Well, if you want to come to my house, I'll cry in front of you about my career. But I try to limit it to the car. Is your podcast doing well? Yeah, thank you. It's a great podcast. Thank you very much. It's really fun.

It's very unique, too. Explain to people how you do it, because you do it differently than pretty much anybody else. Well, I don't use humor in mine, per se. I invite people to waste up to two hours of their life listening to me talk and drone on and on about should I have no business. of their life listening to me talk and drone on and on about should I have no business. I sit in front of a live crowd and just spiel basically for the first like half hour, 45 minutes. And then I kind of get to the second part, which is the boring preachy part. And that's when it's about the news and the government and whatever.

And I often have the Bible or the Constitution handy and I'll read little parts of it out just to make sure people are down with the letter of the law and How do people react to that? Do you find that you're getting mostly people who know what you're doing and know what to expect or do you? Get a lot of people that are kind of surprised because they thought it was like a comedy podcast Or they thought you were just gonna do stand-up. Well, that's so interesting that other guy that saying that silly email right like I Think at the beginning The people that didn't like it listened to it once and that was it for them you know what i mean right like uh you know the first couple of months i did it i think all the

people who thought i was the cute funny one from whose line like he's gonna be that way and then oh wait he's poisonous about this and he thinks about this and he cares about that and i don't want that i think they disappeared early and i what i found is what sometimes i think is an interminable you know just a sufi desert devoid of humor just my opinion forever and ever is the part that people really like because i think people want you to beat yourself like you said and that's really the closest to being myself as a comedian that i've ever been even more than stand-up which i always thought was the most direct way i think the podcast is you know because it's from the heart and I don't think about what I mean I put some stuff together but I don't write anything

you know and then whatever stories I tell it's like on the night I think of something that something spurred on to me or usually it's about where I am or a time I was there before or something that happened that day or you know like you said there's always something to talk about and so that's how I kind of do it and then I take questions at the end on the road I always take questions at the end and we just hash it around and some there's been a couple of that

the public that the people who listen to it sort of came up with like I never started it but someone said who would your all time baseball team of Roman emperors be or whatever? So I made one up, right? And then the next time someone goes, well, who would the king and queens of England be? Who would your chief justices be?

Who would the presidents be? Who would the greatest women in history? So I have all these different teams that we've done over the years. And I just make them up in the moment. Sometimes I fuck them up because I'm high and I'm trying to think of a whole bunch of shit at once. I remember in London they said Kings and Queens of England and I went through it. And my English friends came up to me afterwards and went, wow, I thought you were going to – I was worried about you there. And I'm like, fuck you.

I know enough Kings and Queens of England to make a baseball team out of them. Supposedly it's supposed to be funny. Like the Roman Emperor one I remember because I said Caligula behind the plate because he can handle balls. But there's more salient ones than that. But I didn't make that up.

And then I talk about Negro Leagues and Satchel Paige a lot, and that became a thing on the show. People who hate baseball, hate sports, and don't even know what the Negro Leagues are, write me now and go, it's interesting when you talk about it. Because I like the talk, you know, when you're passionate about it, when you like something and you imbue it with enthusiasm.

Not like hashing through that same bit that you've done 4,000 times in the club and you're just like, oh, fuck, here's the closer, you know. There's none of that feeling to it. What were you going to ask me? I'm sorry. Nothing. I just wondered if you could do Bob the Builder in an erotic situation no I wouldn't do that

but I loved Bob too much but I would say that Wendy was exactly like Bob but with earrings let me just put it that way I think they were lesbians that's weird that you did that I never knew you did that

that's a huge franchise do you get a lot of what are you talking about? Bob the Builder what is it? it's a cartoon for a stop action animation for children under four,

basically. It's, I think, two and three-year-olds, really? Yeah, like my niece's nephews are into that. And he lives in England. It's an English production.

I haven't done it for a few years, but I used to do it. And I was the American voice, the North American voice, Canada and America. It's supposed to teach you to reuse and recycle and shit like that.

Oh, there he is. He wears a little belt and whatnot. Look at you. You're so adorable. Bob the Builder, can we build it? Bob the Builder, yes we can. And then like he would go, in the English one he lived in a caravan and drank tea.

But in the American one, he lives in a trailer and drinks coffee. So we had to translate it into American. And it would be like they were going to build a road somewhere and there was a bird's nest, so what do we do about the bird? They had little short vignettes. And there was a couple feature films, too, that were kind of funny, like westerns and stuff. And all those characters have names.

They're all called, like, Scoop and Muck and whatnot. Hey, let's get mucky. Have you ever been at a place... Squambler. Have you ever been at a place, like, ordering something, and a kid goes, Mr. or you, Bob the Builder? And they always pant like that right before they say it too.

I can't believe I heard your voice. I know, but parents do. Parents will be watching this. Parents will be watching Bob the Builder kids and all of a sudden they tweet, really? Really? Because on my show it's smoke dope and drink and you know, take drugs

and do that and then they're like... But then I don't think it's that big of a dichotomy. It's for little kids. Why shouldn't I be a role model for two-year-olds as well? Like Speedy Skip, that one was called. Once again, it's something that little kids enjoy. Little kids love it. You're making something that someone's going to enjoy.

You know, the bulldozer talks and shit. It's cute. I loved it because we would fly to London and record it in Soho and we would order out and I always got curry or Chinese food. I mean, I love the gig. There's a bar in Italia on

Dean Street. I would go there and have an espresso before and then I'd go over and record and it was like, it was fun. It was just fun. And the voice is this voice, Joe. This is the horrible part. I went into the audition. If I've told this before, I'm sorry.

I went into the audition in London and I was reading and I did all these funny voices, you know, oh, this and that, whatnot. And an English person comes on over the, you know, intercom and goes, Greg, could you, would it be all right if you just did your voice?

And I said, are you insinuating I have a cartoon voice? And she went, well, would you try it one time? So I went like, oh, good for you, Wendy. You recycled. And then they were like, perfect. They loved it. They gave me the job right there. Wow.

It's never happened to me before since with any job in show business. So you do it in your own voice? The way I'm speaking to you. Joe Rogan. Well, you're a famous enough comedian. You live out here in this place. It's so nice here in Sunflower Valley. You're a famous enough comedian that I'm sure they know exactly what you talked like when they brought you in. I think that was it.

So, yeah. They said, listen, let's be perfect. Greg Proops. Being Greg Proops. But I spent 10 minutes doing other voices. Doing a wacky voice. Yeah, at them going like, well, this isn't working out. Until one of them came on and said, they go, would you like to do it in the studio?

And I went, yeah, I would. That'd be really fun. So I ran outside and called my voice agent in London and went like, fucking call them back right now. You know what I mean? Don't let them think about it. Don't let them get a Canadian in. I would love to do voices. That has to be fun.

That was a fun one. That lasted about three or four years until they sold. And this is what happens in show business. There's a lot of Canadians on here out there. It wasn't so, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, happy Canadian Thanksgiving, by the way. Thank you. Powerful Canadian Thanksgiving. It is a very powerful and interchangeable Columbus Day, evidently,

because sometimes it's the 12th sometimes it's the 14th. So today is or isn't? It is. It is. But you know how this one's fluid

like President Day? You know kids don't get that off school anymore. No. Isn't that funny? Well we were talking about it today. Yeah.

They realized Columbus was kind of a mass murderer. Right. No holidays changed more in ethos from the time we were little to now. Like Santa Claus didn't become a fucking housebreaking sexual violator.

Yeah, you're right. Like first it was Columbus discovered America with the Santa Maria and the Pinta and the Nina. And then it was, oh, he never really got to America. He was in the Bahamas or some shit. And then it got to he's a murderer and just dashing babies' heads on rocks and you hear the stories of the, yeah. They would force people

to bring them back gold and they would have to bring like whatever they weighed in gold every week and if they didn't, they'd cut one of their arms off. Oh, yeah. So they do it

to a couple people, they cut their arm off and everyone's screaming and so the rest of them just scramble and go and get that gold. Like they, they,

they're, do you remember the last time I was on, we talked about Columbus? Because you called him an original gangster. He really was. Well, I think everybody was gangster back then. Oh, very much so. And the crown couldn't wait. It was when he got back after the first one, it took a long time. The other guy who hated him, who was also co-captain of the expedition, died for much to his good fortune. He was in another boat. He was in the Nina.

So Columbus got back after much ado. He had to go through Portugal. He almost crash-landed the whole fucking enchilada. When he finally got to Ferdinand and Isabella, he had enough stuff with him from that first journey. And by the way, he left like 40 guys there because the Santa Maria ran aground

and was fucking scuppered. So he just left a bunch of fucking guys in the Caribbean and they died. They got in fights with the Indians and died. When he got back to Spain and finally, finally got in front of the king and queen, he had, you know, 8, 10 Indians and some parrots and some gold and some native shit. And they went, you know, their minds were blown. No one knew there was another world, right? I mean, people knew there was another world, but they didn't know that you could go find a new one like that.

Like, he came back with people from another place who spoke Arawak and had fucking monkeys. Well, it's essentially... What the fuck is this? Here's a bunch of men, ten times more money, a bunch more boats. The second expedition was hugely funded. And he went over with horses, cannons, the whole fucking enchilada. Wow.

The first one was like when you send your friend to fucking Home Depot. Here's my car. Don't use the blinker. Right. He barely made it there and back on the first one. Wow. And yes, he did do all those horrible things to the Indians. He had no notion of them as people.

He was a strict Catholic. He believed that he'd been singled out by God to... Just the idea of cutting people's arms off because they didn't bring enough gold and doing it in front of their family. He knew that if he didn't produce precious goods for the Spanish crown, that he wasn't going to keep getting funded when he went back.

And that was the driving to keep going and pushing through to Asia was what he was after. To find China, because he knew there'd be ivory and pearls and all that shit. But look at it on the other hand, within 20 or 30 years of Columbus, now they're in Mexico, and within another 100 years of that,

the largest silver mine in the world, that giant mountain of silver that all of the silver of Asia for 400 years came from because of the Spanish trade routes between China and shit they reduced a mountain of silver in Mexico and some in South America too and used

the Indians to fucking do it a mountain of silver there's a book called 1493 that's the year it happened charles man well well using columbus is the line of demarcation for everything there's a book called 1491 and a book called 1492 and a book called because he's the first contact you know between west and east or between between the americas and the old world and And on his boat, he was Italian. He had Portuguese.

There was some Spanish. There was some Genoese, probably a couple Venetians. By the time Cortez, when Cortez came over, which is, what, 30 years after, there was women conquistadors on his boat. Women conquistadors?

Yeah, there was about two or three conquistadors on his boat. Wow. They don't tell you all the fun stuff. They're probably like that big chick on Game of Thrones. Exactly. Big giant warrior chick.

Well, imagine what a badass Tador you had to be to be on that fucking mission. And Cortez burned the boats and took a vote with everybody and said, do you want to go back or not? And they were like, he goes, okay, this is how it's going to go. We know where the capital of the Aztecs are

and this is our mission. And they got all the Indians along the way and that's how they did it and they burned the boats they couldn't go back yeah but according to one book i read by bernal diaz who was the last survivor of that mission he landed up in like honduras or whatever the little ranch when he was old he writes it forward i'm old and i'm blind now but i'm going to tell you what the fuck happened when on the mission with cortez and he'd been on a previous one with another conquistador and then he says,

he didn't just say we're burning the boats, we took a vote. Captain General Cortez said to the boys, here it is. You can go back to Cuba, where they were living, or you can go back to Spain, where you got nothing. Holy shit. Gold and fucking glory in Tenochtitlan.

And you may die. And they may eat you. And cut your heart out. They had such an ability to take risks back then. It's pretty extraordinary. I mean, the genocide on the Indians is, of course, the disgusting part, but I mean, the Aztecs did have an organized army, and, you know, it wasn't 100 Spanish guys.

They had tens of thousands of Indians in their army when they finally laid the big battle out. Columbus, on the other hand, just kind of marauded around the Caribbean and tried to get these poor fucking Indians who had no gold to give him gold. And he was in the wrong country, man. America's where gold is. Well, didn't they give him something at some point in time? They gave him little baubles, but those baubles had come from the mainland or had been traveled across the Caribbean or from South America where there was stuff. But they didn't have any gold there, so they were wearing little earrings and nose rings and shit.

And he'd be like, that was it, the total focus. And they couldn't understand it because they were giving him chicks and food and like, well, what else do you want? We don't have fucking the gold. And why is the gold so important to you? It's not important to us. They were like, and he just, as soon as he saw any gold, that was the end of that. How do they have this? Obviously, they have that one account from Cortez that you were talking about from one of the people.

Oh, there's loads of accounts of Cortez because there's friars that wrote. How do they have these accounts? Oh, Columbus wrote a diary and guys on his ship wrote diaries. And there's a famous priest who was sort of the conscience of the new world who decried the genocide against the Indians from the very beginning. And the Spanish kept meticulous records. And there's a giant library in Seville called the Library of the Indies where all of the conquistadors' fucking documents are collated and kept. That's awesome. They're a legal society.

So you brought a priest with you. You brought a notary with you. You brought lawyers with you. You brought generals with you. You brought a doctor. You wrote shit down. When you took over a town, you wrote a sign and posted a crucifix

and read a decree to the Indians who can't understand you that you are taking over their town in the name of the King of Spain and shit. How much did they bullshit? All of it. I mean, you know. So when they would tell their version of the events, how much of it was bullshit? Well, history's all spinning, isn't it? Yeah.

I don't think all of it's bullshit because there's a lot of real... Also, Indians wrote accounts later who learned... Yeah. Because there's a lot of real – also Indians wrote accounts later who learned – within a generation, obviously, there's Mexicans, which are the marriage of Indians and Spanish, right? And within a generation, all of the Aztec nobles, of which there were lots, and all the nobles in Mexico from the Indian tribes married into rich – married into Spanish families. from the Indian tribes, married into Spanish families. So they were raised as rich people who spoke Spanish now, and they were able to tell their stories as well. There's a lot of first-person accounts by the explorers.

Cabeza de Vaca kept a diary. I mean, Columbus's is great because it's so self-serving. He omits whole portions of the journey, and he doesn't mention some of the ratty shit he did. The ratty shit was all ratted out by priests, right? Yeah, and then later expeditions within. By the second expedition, guys were mutinying on him and fucking going back to Spain and ratting on him. What were they saying?

That he was a terrible, incompetent fucking commander. Once they got on land, he was useless, and he didn't know how to handle the Indians and there was always violence with the crews killing each other and choosing sides and hiding on different parts of the island from each other and not doing what he asked them to do. He was a terrible commander. On the sea, the greatest thing you can say about Columbus is he's an extraordinary navigator.

He knew that there was going to be a trade wind and he caught it. Having had some of that knowledge, he knew that if he went down and got it, he could come and get one back. And I think he guessed that. He surmised that or he knew from other sailors and shit that you wouldn't actually

get lost and die. You could come back to Europe from wherever you were going in Asia. And he didn't have a telescope. This is previous to the telescope. So he is dead reckoning. And evidently was terrible with instruments. Like he

had an astrolabe and he had a sextant but he couldn't fucking use them very well. So all of his reckonings in the book and he kept two separate notebooks. One with his navigational charts and another with fake ones in case anybody caught him because he didn't want anybody

copying his route because he thought he was going to have the monopoly on going to the new world and shit. Wow. So within, of course, 20 years, within four years, there's a whole bunch of other Spanish vessels coming over and, you know, within 10 years, it's all over. So when he first starts

writing it down, you said he's not using instruments? He had instruments. They're crappy. They didn't have any idea of longitude, right? Latitude was kind of a free-flowing affair. If you had shit you could focus on, like stars or bodies of islands or whatever, that you could navigate, which is why those

maps of the world always seem so small from then. So he had to reckon by currents and winds and the color of the water, how the water the salinity of the water, how it tasted. They had a rope

with fathoms on it marked in knots and they'd take soundings to see how fucking deep the sea was. And all of a sudden when they got near and the crew was having a heart attack because they'd been out for a couple months. And it's true. The crew was like, hey, we're going to die. And he said, calm the fuck down. And the next day, clearly something a human had made, like a carved paddle, hit the boat. And they pulled it up and went, you know, there's something over there.

And then the next day, a bunch of branches and shit. And then birds. And when there's birds and branches, there's fucking islands. And they knew. Then the men started to get hip to the fact that he wasn't wrong, that there was something over there. And then, of course, he said whoever sees the island first gets a prize. the men started to get hip to the fact that he wasn't wrong, that there was something over there. And then, of course, he said, whoever sees the island first gets a prize.

And the guy in the middle of the night saw the lights, and he said, when they got up in the day, I saw them last night. Oh, what a douche. He ratted his crew. So what lights? They never loved him. What lights did he see? Fires the Indians were burning.

Oh, wow. Fascinating. I know, right? That's amazing. It is. It's really weird. Think of their gear. Maybe no rifles on the first expedition. Maybe a couple.

Not rifles like arquebuses that you lit a fuse and put it in a breach. Pack it down. Yeah, pack it down with a ball. Crossbows, a few crossbows. That was considered real high-tech to have those with you. That was a big deal to have an organized group of crossbowmen. Because an organized

group of crossbowmen could wipe out lots of people at once. They're very accurate. The armor thing never worked out for them with all the conquistadors. Within a few weeks, they'd all fucking started wearing the Indians' armor because it was too hot. Yeah, too much stuff. They wore metal and metal rots in the jungle and shit.

But the Indians had fabulous cotton textiles that made, you know... So Columbus's journals, they were all his own way of measuring the salinity, his own way of measuring the color of the water. So he would just describe that, like that's how he knew which way to go. He'd been a navigator. He'd been at sea since he was a teenager. Genoese tended to go to sea because they were slave traders and there was always a tradition of slavery in Genoa, which is why he didn't perceive the Indians as people as much as his first thing he wrote back was like, I think we found a bunch of slaves here. You know, wow, we

can use these people to build stuff. And then of course their temperament was not that way and he didn't manage any of the situations right and he betrayed everybody and that's why it all went so horribly shit and all those indians are dead there's no caribbean indians it's just weird when you stop and think about what a short amount of time ago that was oh my god so short this short, dude. This was nothing. 500 years. 500 years seems like a long time for one person. But once you've been alive for a little while, like you're in your forties and you start looking and going, you know, that didn't take that long. It seemed like he moved pretty quick.

How many of these are left? How many of them do you get in a life? My mother was 94 when she passed away. Think about that. Five of those. Born in 1919. Yeah. Five lives those. Born in 1919, yeah. Five lives, birth to death,

and you're dealing with the most horrible atrocities that we have on record from that time. There was no jet planes when my mother was born. There was no radio service. It's so weird growing up in Columbus, Ohio, because that's named after Christopher Columbus, and there's all these fucking statues everywhere just celebrating this man, and you grew up in school celebrating this guy.

And it's just weird now. It's really weird. Well, we looked at the achievement and not at any of the reality. Keep talking. Should we? Oh, okay. We can adjourn if you like.

I know, right? And if you go to Seville, there's a giant statue of him. And there's one in Barcelona, too, looking out over the sea. And then the statue in Seville is in the cathedral. And he's being carried in a litter by four Indians from different tribes. And they're wearing their Indian garb.

And he's in a big brass litter like that. And his foot is rubbed completely shiny because it's good luck to rub Columbus's foot. In Seville, it was on a river. And every year when the fleet would come back, the treasure fleet from the New World, they'd be laden down, like almost to the waterline with fucking gold and precious goods

and people and stuff. And they'd come up the river and there was a chain across the river in Seville and they'd pull the chain out and they'd sail up the river. and there was a chain across the river in Seville, and they'd pull the chain out. And they'd sail up the river, and that was a big event every year because when the treasure fleet came back, it was like – And, of course, Spanish people got none of that money, just the crown. And then what did they do? Wage war against the French and the Dutch and the English for fucking 300 years and blew all the money.

Did you see that documentary about Sunset Boulevard? No. You should really see. We're trying to get the director. Yeah. We're working on that. The history of Sunset, it's real interesting. Oh, yeah.

They used to have one street, dirt road going down the street. That's a really cool movie I recommend. I'd like to. I think I'm at. Well, I know I saw another one that was about its heyday in the 60s and all that. It was go-go joints and

zeros. You watched a documentary on zeros? It included zeros and then it had the riots and Jim Morrison and whiskey in the hall. That's right, there were whiskeys on Sunset too. What a fucking street. Yeah, it's amazing.

What used to be across the street from the store before the House of Blues? It used to be a hotel, I believe. Was it? Yeah. Oh, where the House of Blues is? I just drove by today. But then there's that Hyatt that's next door

to the Comedy Store, or that's two doors down. And if you remember the movie Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band with Peter Frampton, they stay in that hotel because they come out of it in a scene. Really? Yeah. The one with the sky bar?

No, no, the one on the other side of the street. It's on the Comedy Store side of the street. That's, um... Right by Catania. Yeah, right around along Columbus. The one across the street. What is that? What's the hotel?

God damn it. Standard? Is it Standard? No, Standard is down to the left. Argyle? Is that what it is? Something like that. Something like that.

Some fancy schmancy, very nice hotel. But that's that area out where it has that insane look, that view. Right. That's what that is. Yeah. There's so many spots like that. Yeah, those hotels are wild up there. They all have little pools and scenes at the pool and all that jazz.

Were you in San Francisco when that guy jumped off the roof? That was before your time, right? Way before your time. Jumped off the? The Hyatt, the comic who was protesting during the Jay Leno days. Oh, golly. The comedy store and the improv, I guess, comics were like picketing. They were on like strike.

Oh, golly. That was before my time. Way back. What was that? That was like way, that was in the 70s yeah like Letterman when Letterman was a stand up oh was it really that far

yeah that's right well they they you know that's like kind of a famous spot right because they were just

trying to get any money for signs yeah it's a weird thing that working for free in Hollywood and comics do and we still do

I still do shows for free all the time. Yeah. Well, I think it's important to work out a lot. So doing those free shows, it's good. It lets you fuck around guilt-free, try out new shit. Sometimes I'll go up and I'll intentionally put myself in a little bit of a hole by just starting out with an idea that's kind of half-assed, so I panic my way into figuring the way through the bit.

I wouldn't do that in the way through the bit. Right, right. You know, I wouldn't do that in a regular show. But one of those... People paid. Yeah, one of those just show-up shows. Those are... They're interesting. They're good. They're good to fuck around.

Free-range chicken. Yeah. That's the other good thing about L.A., man. There's an amazing community of comedians out here. Think about just the sheer volume of clubs and comedians. And the breadth. Like every type of comedian. Oh, yeah.

I mean, you go to these other towns and, you know, you go everywhere. And I'll work in a place and guys will be like, I don't know if I can move to LA. And I'm like, be advised that, like, if you go to a place on a Tuesday night, you're following fucking Patton, you know, and Sarah Silverman and shit. Like, you didn't just walk into it, you know. I go, your game, your game has to get your game together. If I wanted to shut someone down,

I would love to have a Greg Proops announcement like you. That would be an incredible service that you could provide. Be advised, like the way you would phrase things. If you continue this down the road of altercation with my client, the results will be catastrophic. I think you'll find that. In no uncertain terms.

I advise great caution in that regard. No, you can't just swan up here and... I mean, I think the only important thing in LA is like... I remember reading it in a magazine years ago. A guy said the three important things about being in LA. He's like, know why you're here was the number one one. He goes, if you're here to sleep with people, then that's what you're here for. Don't fucking bullshit me and tell me you're writing a thing.

Right. If you're writing a thing, write that thing. There's a lot of that, right? Well, that's what he said. Like, the reason why you're here, do the reason why you're writing a thing write that thing there's a lot of that well that's the he said like the reason why you're here do the reason why you're here and then the second one was return your fucking calls mm-hmm which I thought was those are two good pieces well I mean if people go I should go to LA like did you come to be an actor did you come to be a comic did you come to write a thing you know right not that you can't do them all at once, but

if you're going to say you're a comic, you've got to go out and work every night and do comedy. You have to be seen in doing comedy. In my opinion, you say you want to be a comic until you make a living doing comedy, and then you say, I'm a comic. Because there's a lot of comics out there. And I get it. You're still a comedian. I guess you are still a comic, sort of. There's a lot of guys who actually never graduate from open mic. I don't want to mention any names, but they're really funny guys. I guess my argument just fell apart.

I know what you're saying. They're still comics. Well, the whole goal is to make a living at it. When you first start to make money at it, you can't believe that you're getting any money. And then when you start to make a living at it, which takes a long time, I think. Yeah. I can't imagine starting now. That's what's weird to me.

Because I take advantage of the web, you know, as a comedy. You know, we're selling our special on the web. We do our fucking shows on the web. This wasn't available to us, man. And the promotion. And the ability to be you. Even 10 years ago, this wasn't available. The ability to be you on your podcast.

Yeah. Like, we were talking about that before we even started. Like, no one would really let you do that. No. No one would just say, Greg Proops, just,

here's, you know, two hours. Just get nutty. We don't give a fuck. Right, right. Here, we won't say anything. We'll fucking, everything you do, love it or hate it,

we'll be positive. We'll fucking high five you. No. No. Someone's always going to have enough. No. That was never going to happen in the old show business.

So I kind of like this paradigm. What you should do is do sort of like an odd couple show. Since you've been emailing back and forth with that dude, get that dude on the podcast with you. And he gets to sit next to you and go, yeah, well, here's a bunch of fucking. Right. A bunch of tear jerking liberal bullshit. Yeah. It's a bunch of liberal bullshit.

I didn't call me out here liberal bullshit. All right. Right. And just keep me honest the whole time. Martin Luther King. What the fuck is this bullshit? It's a bunch of liberal bullshit. I didn't call me out here liberal bullshit, all right? Right. And just keep me honest the whole time. Martin Luther King, what the fuck is this bullshit? It's a good idea.

It could be like sort of, you know, like some sort of a odd couple type thing. He likes red meat. It'd be a good battle. Greg eats quinoa. He eats other men's dicks.

Do you read any, are you like a regular reader of history books? Is that how you know so much about Columbus, or are you just fascinated by that? No, I read a bunch of Columbus books. There's one called The Four Voyages by Larry Bergeron. Then there's Columbus's own version. I was playing in Bloomington, Indiana at that nice comedy club there. I haven't been. There's a bookstore in Bloomington because it's a college town.

What's it called, Bloomington? The Attic. Okay. comedy club there. I haven't been. There's a bookstore in Bloomington because it's a college town. Bloomington? God, the attic. Okay. And in the bookstore I found Columbus's The Four Voyages and I had already read this other guy's book

and this was Columbus's account and his son, Bartolomeo, and then someone else too. So I thought, well, I'll read his account and see what the fuck I'm, you know, to get another source.

And then right now I'm reading a book about Da Vinci painting the last supper and stuff like that it's pretty you know these people don't seem

like people you know like you say you're disconnected from the reality of but then when you think like it's said in this book like Da Vinci would write

like notes like got a German kid working for me. You know, like, in his notebook or whatever. Had to go to the store. I needed to buy socks or whatever. You're like, it makes it more. And that Da Vinci didn't spend all his time making masterpieces.

He designed sets and costumes for loads of, you know, they were always having events and pageants. He was in a royal court. So he did a lot of that. He invented, like, stage sets that opened up and there'd be freaky shit inside and everybody would go, oh, my God. Like he did special effects. He was unbelievably brilliant. Yeah.

And sketched all the time. Carried a book with him all the time. So he always had the notebook. That's why there's so much of his stuff left because he wrote so many notebooks. Yeah. When you start thinking about the people of that day, the Leonardo da Vinci's, the Michelangelo's, the great, great artists of the past. It's so hard to wrap your head around what their life must have been like. No medicine.

They have nothing. They barely figured out anything. No, they barely had some saws if your fucking leg got broken. Apparently his studio was pretty big, though. Was it really? Yeah, the one he had in Milan was pretty big because his patron gave him a used castle they weren't using anymore.

So he had a nice big space and a few guys working for him. No shit. A little Italian kid that stole all the time and would buy candy with the money he stole and shit. Oh yeah, it becomes a little more human, you know. And that he's just gay, basically. He's just gay.

No one really says anything. Like, Leonardo's queer. And apparently, really good looking and amazingly strong could bend a horseshoe. This is the last thing you want. A gay guy who could bend a horseshoe.

Just... Ah, yeah. Devastatingly handsome. And a better artist than you, funnier than you, better musician than you. He played the lyre. God, he's gay.

That's the balance. He's gay. Evidently, he was real witty. I'm hating on a guy who lived hundreds of years ago. Well, I think that's why he's so famous still. Because he was real witty I'm hating on a guy Who lived hundreds of years ago Well I think that's why He's so famous still Because he was the life

Of the goddamn renaissance You know Oh I'm sure Well I mean you talk about Bad motherfuckers Whose name have carried Through the ages Yeah

Leonardo's definitely Leonardo da Vinci I mean he did so many Amazing illustrations Of the human body And his ideas Of you know His ideas

Of how to sculpt things And how to draw things and how to space things was so advanced and brilliant it is credible like placement of the images and his work they're so it's like you know when they do studies of works of art like what is appealing about certain pieces of art it's so difficult to like count the tangibles like what is it is a sense of symmetry is the depth the perception of of distance and space what is it about this piece that's so remarkable and striking and because it's not necessarily always the subject matters how the subject matter is displayed and there's so many variables it could be it could look so different so weird so so when a guy comes along, like Leonardo da Vinci,

and you look at his stuff and you go, fuck. Yeah. God damn, this dude nailed it. He just nailed it. He spent all his time studying motion and visual effects. He has notebooks filled with how the water looks when it's misty, how the water looks when it's rough, how the water looks when it's a tempest,

when there's a storm, when it's misty, how the water looks when it's rough, how the water looks when it's a tempest, when there's a storm, when it's calm. He felt like artists should walk around and watch people all the time. He had insane notebooks of every kind of movement, of every kind of person, of every... And the physiognomy ones, I just saw when I was in Scotland. They had them at a museum there when I was at Edinburgh. And we went and saw all of his physiological notebooks. And there was all these anatomists now talking about, this is more advanced than what we do.

Look at the perspective on how he drew the hands. He had corpses and he just spent days and weeks and months and years fucking studying how the tendons worked and drawing these intricate and unbelievably anatomically correct from shaded perspectives, from many perspectives not just you know just so that he could have almost like a database his visual yeah his visual

cognition is just like far past any but it was because he made a study of everything which is why i think he determined that you could make machines that would fly and yeah i don't think it was great leaps of imagination he studied birds you know he studied you know everything like he was a they didn't call it science then but you know he studied you know everything like he was a they didn't call it science then but you know right as a scientist and that's the thing is that he wasn't really bogged down by a title in so much as he would be today yeah being an art i mean it's hard to be an artist and an inventor today unless you're like kanye west he can do both uh oh and a holy figure as well spiritual leader leader. For my people. Your people. The Proops people.

The Proopsers. The Proopers. What do you guys call each other? The Proopaloopas. Proopaloopas. Proopaloopas. We watch Prulu. We eat Fruit Proops.

And our slogan is, Don't look back. Something might be proofing on you. Is that your theme? Yeah, it is our theme song. I'm still hurting at that girl. Maybe throw that cassette away. I know.

Way back in 1988. Tawny Katane. So sad. She was hot as fuck. Super hot. Damn. Well, it was when she got in front of him and put her crotch in his face while he was driving.

That was the part of the video where you're like, someone's gonna get hurt. It's all fun and games when someone's got their scoop in your face. Until... Women just looked different back then with the crazy hair. Oh, yeah. And the men had the crazy hair, too. Oh, looked different back then with the crazy hair. Oh, yeah. And the men had the crazy hair, too. Oh, no, they both had equally crazy hair. They both had crazy hair.

Remember, she was on a Jaguar. Oh, yeah. Flipping around on the Jaguar. Dude, dude, unforgettable. Doing the splits and shit. I know what it means to walk along. Yeah, there's a lonely road or something like that. Yeah, yeah.

There's dreams and whatnot. There's some music of that era that was like, what happened to America? What happened to the world? What happened to the consciousness of the human beings? Is it because they were denied psychedelics? I really wonder. Because if you look at the difference between the music of the 1970s

from 1970 to the music of the 1980s, there's some weird sort of like a detachment it's more koki and less juggy yeah and it's this weird detachment from from real you know if you go back to this day like listen to Voodoo Child listen to the live version of it how organic it is it's insane it's insane how good that fucking song is it's insane how good that guitar solo is it like hurts your brain but then go and listen to some shit from the 80s you know that was like really popular back then that you might have liked and you'll be like what the fuck was wrong with these people like you look at the movies they made you look at look at the movies they made. You look at the movies they made.

Some of the movies they made in the 80s. And then go back and think about some of the shit they made in the 60s and 70s that still holds up today. Like The Hustler. You mean things that reflect the human condition instead of weird science? Yeah. There were some amazing movies back then. There were some amazing...

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Still holds up. Oh yeah, it does. still holds up oh yeah it does still holds up well writing you know writing and characters right but why'd that go away why didn't that get better everything gets better if you look at today's era if you look at like from if you go back to like father knows best and then you look at today with like say like uh homeland or game of thrones the writing has gotten so much better. The shows have gotten so much better.

There's such an incredible evolution of culture that's so blatantly obvious on television. So why doesn't that exist? What happens? Where's that blip, that weirdness from the 70s to the 80s to the 90s? In the 2000s, they finally like wrought the shit back straight. Jesus, what the fuck were we doing?

And now they're making all this amazing shit. But they were making amazing shit. They were making the Twilight Zone. They had real original interest in programming. Twilight Zone is fucking brilliant to this day. Yeah, it is. Sci-fi plays repeats. And I said it on my DVR once, just thinking,

this would be something to watch one night when I'm bored, and I'm just hooked. Right, right. Watching one after the other. I watched three, four in a row. They're amazing. They're so good. They all have great writing. The writing is so good. And they're concise.

Captain Kirk, when William Shatner was going through the machine that tells you your future. Oh, yeah. Oh, my my god that's a good episode I love that show Burgess Meredith oh that one's unforgettable oh my god it's incredible I don't even want to give a spoiler alert can you say spoiler alert

on a Twilight Zone from 1963 I think you can because I find that I think I talk about things on my show that I think, well, everybody knows this, and then I think, mm-mm, everybody doesn't know. Everybody's family reference is different, and people are different ages, and they didn't grow up with it. So there's people out there listening right now who are like, Twilight Zone? What is this show you speak of?

They don't even know about the movie. Who is this Burgess Meredith you speak of? Burgess Meredith. Burgess Meredith, man. Yeah, spoiler alert. He played a guy that really wanted books. Just be alone with books. Can't tell you anymore.

Can't tell you anymore. The other great William Shachter one was the man on the plane. Fuck, that one was great. That's mortifying. The fucking outfit is so bad. Isn't it? It's just terrible. It's so bad. It's just terrible. We played it on the bad. Isn't it? It's just terrible. It's so bad.

It's just terrible. We played it on the podcast. We showed the clip of the monster. He's like a monkey with a helmet on, kind of. It's a furry. Yeah. He's a furry. I mean, it really does look like a furry.

If you haven't seen it, Brian, pull that shit up. The man on the wing of the plane, William Shatner, Twilight Zone. There's some images. Yeah. Incredible. But just some images. Yeah. Incredible. But just the sheer originality. Like, they were on to something. And then, you know,

later you got the fall guy. Like, what happened? Vegas. He got, you know, some stupid shit, man. Roller Girls. He had some good shows. Super Train.

Magnum P.I. was a good cop drama. He sort of had a message, and he was a guy searching for truth. Look at this fucking thing. Oh, my God. Look how bad that thing is. There's some other images, Brian, where it's actually on the plane, where you get a full body. Oh, it's so stupid.

There it is to the left. Look how stupid that is. Oh, my God, that's stupid. Yeah, why was it a furry? That is the least scary thing that's ever been a scary thing. The mortifying part was just that you'd be looking at your... I think that the jet plane experience was so sexy and exciting in the early 60s. Yeah.

Oh, my God, there's a monster on the wing. Well, that was actually a propeller plane. Oh, is it? Yeah, it's a propeller plane. The guy actually puts his fingers in the propeller and hurts his finger. And he's like, stop it, stop it. Oh, he's the only one that sees it, right? Yes.

He was like poking at the helicopter plane or the propeller plane. I guess I haven't seen that one in a long time. That's not the same animal. I am the same animal. That's you. That's me. What a cute little doggy. That's a little cripple lip.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I just wonder same animal. That's you. That's me. What a cute little dog. That's a little cripple lip. Yeah. Well, I mean, I just wonder what happened, that weird cultural blip, the 80s, essentially. It's the 80s, where it seems like things just, it really does feel like there was like a slide, like the culture got rocked for like a decade and then had to recover. And then through the 90s is like big getting its feet back under it and you start seeing like really good comedy and a lot of good things start happening and then boom it's bad i don't know i liked the 80s but yeah i know what you're saying it wasn't the deepest decade of all time although in the 70s everybody kept calling it

the me decade and that we were really shallow and i kind of enjoyed the 70s too so well the 80s were a big coke era you're definitely right about that. I wasn't that cokey then, but yes it was and I think everything was informed by that. It also was the rise of capitalist heroes, which I always hated. Gordon Gekko types. Yeah, yeah. And the whole Reagan thing.

I don't know. I just never dug that part of the 80s. Well, you're from San Francisco. You're a super liberal man. No matter what, you'll always be super liberal. That's true. This is, I'm waiting for the tweeters. You had to turn it off.

You know, I didn't tune in. I didn't pay no money to tune in and listen to this for free to hear Proops talk his fucking fruit in a bag shit. Well, your points of view

are all based on, you know, a pretty, pretty reasonable ethical standard and your ideas are all, you a pretty reasonable ethical standard, and your ideas are all very progressive, open-minded. You're not a ridiculous person. I've known you for a long time.

You're very well thought out in all the things that you say. There's some people, though, that also hold opinions similar to yours that need to be throttled. I couldn't agree more. They're on my team, and I don't want them on my team, and that's why I don't like my team, and that's why I try to stay on my own team, because I don't, like George Carlin said,

I'm on the sidelines, you know. There's no doubt there's some annoying-as-fuck people on the right as well, but something makes me really upset when I find, like, really aggressive progressive people, like, overly aggressive progressive, to the point of, like, causing like causing like arguments that are totally unnecessary and feeling completely in the right for doing it it's like really loud and barky version of progressive ideology it's like

well also i like i like a little more open-minded uh do what you like to be the overriding notion not my way is right and your way is wrong like i would have smoking in bars i don't see that as wrong it's a health issue you say that because you smoke and i think you enjoy it and i am all for personal choice i'm all for you should be allowed to have a bar that's that's what i say yes what i meant was i would have bars with smoking yeah and then bars without smoking. I think you definitely... So that people could do that. Were you allowed to do that before?

Were you allowed to say no smoking in your establishment before the laws changed? I remember a comedy club in San Francisco went no smoking on their own. I just mean...

Let's never mind the smoking issue. A million different issues of... But the smoking... A legal age of drinking. If you can vote when you're 18, then why is it 21 to drink? Right.

And why should you be able to go to war when you're 17? Thank you. And you kill somebody, but you can't figure out whether or not this is evil or that's evil or this is beneficial. You should be informed. I think eventually, hopefully, and I've said this to ad nauseum, I think we're going to be able to vote on the internet. We're going to see a radically different version

of what people want and don't want. And that's the only way this country is ever really going to be at peace. That's the only way people are ever going to really be at peace. We need a council of elders, a council of wise men that sort of display... They get on television

and with no vested interest, educate people on what's wrong with the system and how the world works and what direction they advise that we act. Then the people just vote on everything that fucking happens and everybody gets to do it on your fucking phone. And yes, there's going to be some disastrous results. Miley Cyrus would probably be the first president, but we'll work that shit out. We'll figure out what the fuck is wrong. It's not the worst idea that's ever happened. They're always going to be some disastrous results. Miley Cyrus will probably be the first president. But we'll work that shit out. We'll figure out what the fuck is wrong. It's not the worst idea that's ever happened.

They're always going to be that. But we'll figure that out eventually. And with the education and the access to information that's also available because of this, I don't think we really completely wrapped our head around the impact the internet has on us. No. We look at the stuff from, like I'm watching this documentary, Searching for Sugar Man. Yeah, I saw it. Really interesting, right?

Yeah. And I just started it. It was only a 40-minute plane ride from San Francisco this weekend. But when I was listening, what just happened? Brian, what did you just do? Some cable shit. What happened? One of the lights was making some noises.

Oh, okay. Yeah, that was weird. It was the one under the table here near me. But what was fascinating was watching that... I mean, it's a real time machine. When you look at the footage that they used in that film of driving around Detroit in the 1970s, it was beautifully, beautifully shot.

But you get this sense of this weirdnessness of that time you know that just be and then you just stop and think about the life that we're living right now and how fucking weird that's going to be from people in the future when they try to digest like these were the first motherfuckers to have the internet right the the whole world has the internet now we're so used to it's been here for 500 years but back back then, the world went upside down. The government started falling. People started getting access to information. Religion started declining in previously never-before-reported numbers.

The point where there's real, legitimate scientific studies that say within the next 100 years, there may not be any religion. It may be a really rare thing. That's how crazy the world is moving that's how fast it's moving and that's how much things are changing they're just changing in front of our eyes to the point where it's it's it's just a normal part of everyday life hey i don't know google it boom yeah tweet me oh my god i gotta retweet that it's a crazy story bam and then everybody else does it now you got millions of people that are doing it to each other sending it and sending it and sending it that new distribution of information

that can't be underestimated that's a world changer that's a world changer we didn't have it 10 years ago 10 years ago but it wasn't as sophisticated as it is now not like this this is so beneficial

20 years ago no way there's a lot of cunts online for sure No, this is so beneficial. 20 years ago, no way. Not at all. There's a lot of cunts online for sure. But you can find some really cool pockets of people online too. Some really nice, interesting, friendly people. There's a gang of message boards. There's a gang of people that you can connect to on Twitter. It's a really unique time.

The amount of people that you interact with. I think that it's more people kind of avail themselves of what a tool it is. You can learn a lot off your computer or your phone, but people don't use it for that. They just go on Facebook or they just look at...

That's a lot of that. Well, that's mostly it. It's so easy. I need my own personal porn blocker. When someone comes over to my house and I have to show them something on YouTube, I have to type Y-O-U-T very quickly because it wants to go to you, Jizz. You know how it predicts? I got to go, where's Jizz? At least it's you, Jizz, and not something else.

Yeah, you suck my cock, bitch. Wow. Yeah. I like it in jail, you. You, I like it up my butt. How long does this go? It's whenever you want to end. Oh.

You want to end right now? We can keep going. We can do whatever we want. I could go. There's no reason. You could go, you can leave, or you could go, you could talk. No, I probably should go pretty soon. You should leave pretty soon?

What are we? We could stop. We've been doing like a couple hours. We've got a couple hours, right? Yeah, well. I don't want to cheat anybody, but. doing like a couple hours. We've got a couple hours, right? Yeah, well... I don't want to cheat anybody, but... It's been two hours, about two hours. Is that all right?

It's been two hours and almost 15 minutes. Yeah, that's a nice length for a podcast. It's enjoyable. The last thing I ever wanted to be is not enjoyable anymore. So like when your time is up or when you look at your clock and you go, I've got to be somewhere, we're just happy you came. We're just happy you came. Thank you, man.

And bestowed your beautiful wisdom upon us. Thank you for having me again, and thank you for letting me annually come back and talk about Columbus ad nauseum. You can come back anytime you want and talk about the same shit over and over again. I appreciate it, Joe. Your show is very intellectually engaging,

and I don't think there's anything like it of all the shows because you know you're willing to explore any and all areas and take on a lot of different philosophies and there's you know there's no question and answer it's fantastic it's just free-flowing but there's so much out there in the world I think at this point in time there's so many different things to think about and so many different subjects to cover and so many different fascinating things to discuss and as long as you discuss it like that you know of you you you just you just look at things objectively and openly and you try not to have any personal biases going into them and try to

look at every different angle the world is a fascinating fascinating fascinating place there's just it's i think we're in this weird boiling time. It's like never-before-seen time of information. I feel panicked, and I feel chased, and I feel, you know. Yeah. I think everybody does, though, right now. It's a real weird feeling in the air. Yeah, I worry about everything across the board,

from the ocean to the melting of the polar ice caps. I worry about the everything across the board from the ocean right to the the melting in the polar ice caps i worry about the the threat of war i worry about drone attacks i worry about nuclear disasters there's so much that can go wrong but yet it's still so exciting of course it's just amazing time to be alive we're so lucky there's always the sun and the moon you know there's so much shit going on man there's so much awesome comedy going on. There's so many funny people and great movies. And there's just so much great music. And, like, I think our culture right now, this time where people, like anybody, can just enter into the fray. Write a blog.

Make some music. Put it up online. Make people share it. Show us your comedy. Put it up online. People share it. I mean, this time, there's never been anything like this before. No, no.

The rules are off. That's the best part. The rules are off. And it's being used in cunty ways sometimes. But overall, I think that's going to settle down. I really do. I have faith in people. It might be unwarranted faith, but I have faith in people based in what I've seen from friends, their emotional and physical growth, and what I've seen from – more emotional, obviously – and what I've seen from our culture.

I think that's one of the weird things about who we are right now is the fact that we're in the middle of all this chaos and all this war and all this racism and sexism and all this devastating shit that we have. On top of that, we also have information that's flowing like a raging river, and no one can stop it. No, including the government. No one can stop it, and people are organizing things, and there's some attempts that weren't.

You know, like there's some Occupy Wall Street things that are like, it's a great idea, and there's some attempts that weren't. You know, like there's some Occupy Wall Street things. They're like, it's a great idea, and they're focusing on this area, but we're not exactly sure what happens. But then there's Anonymous that goes after people. And then there's this Bitcoin guy who they just arrested who was running that Silk Road. He lost all his Bitcoins, right? They took all his Bitcoins, right?

Oh, well, the Bitcoins just went out of business. Bitcoins went out of business, too? I think so. I think the whole thing is done. There goes my croquet mallet collection. These things to me are like the medical marijuana of 1994. Yeah, right? It's like once you open up the door to that,

give it 10 years and watch what the fuck you got. You're going to have something crazy. 10 years later after that, 2013, what do they have? Yeah, fucking madness in the streets of Los Angeles. Everywhere you look is a fucking pot store. Everywhere you look is a billboard with a doctor that's willing to prescribe you weed for anything. My favorite

one's on Melrose. I've been doing this for eight plus years, it says. The doctor. I've been giving out prescriptions for potheads. Call me. That's so funny. The doctor. Yeah. I've been giving out prescriptions for potheads. For 80 plus years? Call me. That's so funny.

Isn't it? It's fantastic. Yeah. No, you're right, man. You're right. That's the exciting part of being alive. Because I go through the news and shit on my show and then people go, God, it's so depressing, Greg.

There's no future. And I'm like, oh, there's loads of future. And I always feel like the other thing is the hidden element, or not so hidden. Young people of today don't have the same mindset. hidden element, or not so hidden. Young people of today don't have the same mindset, so in 20 years' time, all of what we think is real and what's happening isn't happening

anymore, and I think that's exciting, too. They don't give a shit about gay marriage or any of these sticky issues that we're still hung up on now, like shutting the government down. I don't think the government of 2040 is the same government as today. Without a doubt, yeah. I mean, there's some people, I'm sure,

and there are youth that are still dummies, but there's less and less dummies now. I think it's people realizing that there's an impact for that douchey sexism or homophobia or whatever it is that they're doing. There's an impact. That impact hurts other people. When you say cunty things to people, it affects them.

When you have an attitude about people, it affects them, and then other people affect you. they show displeasure of you and then you sort of get a balance I think that's what the the distribution of information does it allows people to even things out a little bit easier and I think it also is ultimately see ultimately it's gonna make people more kind because right now they're able to do things with without worry of the consequences because they can do things anonymously like through facebook and things along those lines i don't know how much longer that's going to last it doesn't seem like it's going to last that much longer it seems like eventually people are going to know who you are if you're

posting things and then people are going to be able to comment if they know who you are they're going to be able to go why did you say that to that guy that was fucking unbelievably douchey like hey man the way you handled that is wrong or hey i really liked the did you say that to that guy? It's fucking unbelievably douchey. Like, hey, man, the way you handled that is wrong. Or, hey, I really liked the way you handled that. Or, hey, I really loved how you diffused that situation. And then we're going to get a lot more feedback from a lot more different people. We're in for some strange times, Greg Proops. I know, buddy.

It's a strange ride. Let's burn one and see what happens, bro-hames. Greg Proops, thank you very much. The smartest man in the world podcast. You can get it on iTunes. Is your website gregproops.com? If you go to gregproops.com, you can download it there, and you can get my new video on October 22nd.

You can preorder it. I'm looking forward to that. I'm going to watch that. I can't wait. You're a very funny comedian, and I'm glad you do both things. I'm glad you do. You don't set any boundaries for yourself i like that that's what you want to do and i love that you do that thank you man awesome you too so um go support greg proops you fucking savages and uh support

squarespace.com if you're looking for a website make your own bitch use the code word JOE10 and save 10% off your first purchase on new accounts, you freaks. And thanks also to Hulu.com. Now with Hulu Plus, you can watch your favorite shows anytime, anywhere. Original, exclusive content including

Hulu Originals The Awesomes starring S.A.L. Seth Myers and Moon Boys starring Chris O'Dowd from Bridesmaids. So it's only $7.99 a month. Go get it. HuluPlus.com slash Rogan forward slash. Don't ever backslash, bitch. Okay, this shit's rude.

All right, we'll see you guys very soon. Brian, you got anything? Yeah, October 31st, we're having a huge Halloween show in San Diego. I'm scared. Is it going to be spooky? It's going to be spooky. Where is it going to be at? American Comedy Co. in San Diego, California.

Is that good? I should do that place, right? Yeah, that place is awesome. Justin's amazing there. But we're going to be there with Tony Hinchcliffe, Sam Tripoli, and also talk to a bunch of special guests, including some Jew. Oh, that Ari guy? Wednesday night, I'm at the Ice House.

Wednesday night, 10 p.m. show at the Ice House. Me, probably Tommy Bunz, and we're going to call a bunch of other people. You want to go? Sure. Wednesday night, I'll be at Bar Lubitsch in West Hollywood doing my podcast. Powerful Greg Proops. So,

Steven Pressfield tomorrow. We'll see you. Good luck. God bless and jihad.