The Joe Rogan Experience - #429 - Lee Camp

Episode Date: December 16, 2013

Lee Camp is a comedian, author, and activist. His video series "Moment of Clarity" can be found on YouTube, with new videos twice a week.

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! Lee Camp has been inside Smaug's lair. You were on Fox News. I was, once upon a time. You made it in there. Did it smell like sulfur? It smelled like souls.

Why are the girls that work there so fucking hot? Because they know how to hire people, apparently. That's insane. They're way too hot. It's not fair. Because men will agree with them just to hope that they will say, yeah, and high five you. You'll change your whole philosophy. And you can find clips on YouTube where people have just put together every time they open their legs during various segments.

Praise the Lord. They're too hot. Praise the Lord. They're too hot. It's unfair. That's like hypnosis. You know? Some of those, what's that woman's name? Megan?

What's her name? The really angry one? Megan Kelly. She's so fucking hot. It's ridiculous. Where is she? Show me some Megan Kelly. This is, oh, this is him. This is really cool.

Play this because this is how I found out about Lee. But back it up. I'm sure you guys are going to have a lot more jokes for the rest of the campaign here. They just keep coming. Can I just ask a question? Sure. What is Fox News? It's just a parade of propaganda, isn't it?

It's just a festival of ignorance. A million people are dead in Iraq. Come on. This is ridiculous. What's the point of this? This is insane. Go outside. Go hug your children. Lee, you should be more worried.

Love your family. You know, you should be more worried that Hillary Clinton is running. And you get all the news you can at Fox News. All right. This is the best. Watch this. Keep it on it. This is the best part.

We're also talking about Captain Kirk this morning. Because it's Saturday morning, we're having some fun. Greg, you've got the cushiest job in the world. Yeah, look who just beamed aboard right now. The ladies from the Starship Enterprise. Hello, ladies. I'm the star of the show. I'm the star of the show.

I'm the star of the show. I'm the star of the show. I'm the star of the show. I'm the star of the show. I'm the star of the show. I'm the star of the show. I'm the star of the Saturday morning we're having some fun, Greg. Look at this. You've got the cushiest job in the world. Yeah, look who just beamed the board right now. The ladies from

the Starship Enterprise. Hello. Welcome. Just four hot chicks in an outfit. Galactic lover. I just wrote a new book on Captain Kirk

and the way he was able to woo beautiful women like this. It's a book about Captain Kirk getting laid. But come on. The fictional character Captain Kirk too, by the way.

Yeah. Not even William Shatner. Yeah. Not a tell-all book. I was in the green room with them. I could not figure out why there were these women there. I had no idea. How about that you just...

It was almost like it was scripted. Because you said that, and then they showed you the most inane, stupid piece of shit. Yeah. I didn't even know that was coming up next. Oh, my God. It was perfect. You couldn't have been... What if they went to some serious news and

fucked you yeah he wanted to you could see in his face as he read the teleprompter he was like all right we're gonna get out of this and go to ah shit indeed it's like completely proved your point like right away like come on man how did Kirk get laid he just gave it they wrote that he got laid the writers made him get laid yeah a's not a real guy. Jesus fucking Christ. They were aliens. There's two wars going on.

The fucking entire banking system had to be bailed out by taxpayers' money. He was fucking aliens. They just wanted to see what a human cock was like. That's how he got laid. Do you think they have a bunch of shit that they will throw out there like beach balls to distract? And they get it from the CIA every week. Star Trek chicks. They just have to send it.

This is what we want you to talk about this week. It's just to zap the American mind into complacence. No. No. No. No. I mean, I don't believe that it is. I tend to think that it's more incompetence than it is conspiracy.

I think it's ratings. They don't actually care about the news. They only it's ratings. They don't actually care about the news. They only care about ratings. They don't care about the news. But I think in general, even most of what we think of as being this big, gigantic conspiracy with our government and the media is more incompetence and whorish behavior than anything. Just they're prostitutes. They prostituted themselves out because that's the way they got the good assignments, they got the good places, they got the big ratings.

I mean, you don't get to that point. You don't get to that job unless you've proved yourself a faithful foot soldier to whatever their message is generally. You're not going to get hired on there. Yeah, and even guys that used to be kind of like rebels, like Geraldo Rivera. Geraldo Rivera

was kind of a rebel at one point yeah yeah you know he was the guy that had dick gregory on tv and showed there's a pruder film for the first time and wasn't he also the guy that got a fistfight at a kkk rally i think on his show someone hit him in the head with a chair they might not even been trying to hit him it was just a melee and i think a chair went flying and he got his nose broken and he was fucked but he was so excited so excited he had an actual cut on his face. I'm a tough guy. He was supposed to box Frank Stallone or something crazy like that, too.

Was he? A long time ago. God, they might have actually done it. I don't know. I'm pretty sure. But he's a wild dude, or at least he was a wild dude. And now he's this Fox News puppet. It's weird.

Well, you see, the ones that actually stick to their guns, they don't last long. I mean, Cenk Uygur lasted two months at MSNBC before he needed to leave. Amber Lyon is another one that left because her Bahrain story. Actually, you mentioned Bahrain. CNN, she brought it back to them and said, this is what's going on in Bahrain. But they were doing ads talking about how great Bahrain was, and they wouldn't play her segment. Yeah, she's been on the podcast before, and she explained it all to us, and it's so hard to believe that what we consider to be a shining, revered institution of news, like CNN, is

just a bullshit propaganda wing, that they're capable of that kind of behavior. If she's telling the truth, I don't know. I wasn't there. I assume she is. She seems very honest. I don't know anybody else's side on the other side. I don't know what wasn't there i assume she is she seems very honest i don't know anybody else's side on the other side i don't know i don't know what the fuck's really going on so i probably shouldn't comment on what cnn did or didn't do but i know for a fact they're not reporting a lot

of shit that's going on they're not reporting a lot of shit and i feel like all these networks the mainstream media it's a very small box of accepted thought that is allowed on them it's not it's not they're not going to go either very far to either side or outside that box. No, it's not really the news. And that's one of the more interesting things about the Internet is because the Internet now there's all these sources that are like more real news, like they're telling you about shit that's going on that you might not have known. Did you see this thing about the CIA dude who's a fake CIA guy

for like 10 years? Here, let me pull it up when I can if I get a chance here. I think that what we're seeing now with the internet and with just this incredible influx of daily information about life, about

science, about the real reality of politics. People are waking up. I mean, it is a slow, painful process, but people are waking up. I mean, with Syria, that was the first time I've ever seen our war machine and our media war machine get into high gear, and people were like, I don't think we need to bomb the shit out of Syria. Yeah, no shit, right?

We were talking about that the other day at the comedy club. That was the first time that that really did happen. The public said, fuck this. And the government went, oh, yeah, Syria, we don't need to go over there. Come on. I mean, we were just saying. We just wanted to see what you guys thought. So sweat this, dude.

This guy, the EPA's highest paid employee and a leading expert in climate change, deserves to go to prison for at least 30 months for lying to his bosses and saying that he was a cia spy working in pakistan so that he could avoid doing his real job says the federal prosecutors so the dude was how slick is this cat he tells his people at the fucking he goes he works for the epa the highest paid climate expert. And they go, well, we want you to do a lot of studies on climate change. He's like, listen, I would love to. I work for the CIA. That's amazing.

Protecting America. Meanwhile, he was just making it up. But he did it for the longest time. This guy built them out of a million dollars over a decade. I'd say more power to him. There's a grift in the system. Fucking use it. Well, again, it's like, it's more incompetence

than it is anything. It's more human whorish behavior. It's greed than it is anything. This guy's a perfect example. But I have to work for the CIA.

What can I tell you? Could you imagine the balls you have to just invent that you're a CIA operative? How many fake CIA operatives out there? Like dudes who are trying

to impress chicks. It's amazing. Especially with Homeland. It's probably jumped up quite a bit. Can you prove to us that you're a CIA operative? I would love to, but it's top secret. I would have to have you. You would have to be sequestered.

That's the thing. Look, I can't. I'm working for the... I'm trying to save America. I know it looks like I'm on Facebook 23 hours a day, but... Yeah, they check your cell phone. You're texting like 20 different chicks. What's going on, man?

You weren't really working on climate change. You're just getting mad cash, just balling every night. Going to strip clubs, throwing parties at his house. It's a lot of you porn, but you porn is actually a front for a CIA website. We're making sure that the really dark stuff doesn't come out there. I watch the, you know, we have to doesn't come out. I watch the anal. We have to allow a certain amount. I am horrified by the gaping, but we have to allow a certain amount.

If we don't allow it, then we're going to lose a lot of the people that would be with us against this child. It's my job to measure the diameter of the gape, because if it gets beyond a certain point... If we start getting ostrich-like, we've got to cancel the program. First of all, think of the size of an ostrich-like, we've got to cancel the program. You've seen some of the... First of all, think of the size of an ostrich egg. And that's nothing compared to the size of some of these people's butts. You know, they stretch them out in these videos. Have you been to eFucked, Joe?

Website eFucked? No. Is it all just really horrible shit? It's like so many pink socks. Like people getting fucked and socks coming out. Girls pooping while having sex. Well, the weird thing is not just that that exists. It's that we kind of are not even a little bit surprised that that exists.

Because we all know that the natural tendency of human beings is to escalate. We just escalate. Right, right. And if a guy can put it in your mouth, he's going to go, what about your butt? He doesn't even know why he wants to do it. What other holes do you have? What do you have to offer? I mean, when people are, you know, obsessed with anything, whether it's sex or technology or whatever it is,

you're going to try to take that thing to the highest level. Like, they're making a Mustang now. There's a Mustang that you can buy from the factory. It's 670 horsepower. That's ridiculous. That's absolutely insane. It's a Shelby GT500. It's got, like, 668-70 horsepower. That's ridiculous. That's absolutely insane. It's a Shelby GT500. It's got like 668-something horsepower.

And where do you use that? Just the salt flats? You don't. Just out on the salt flats? It goes 200 miles an hour. It's a Mustang. It's one of the craziest things that anyone's ever offered for sale because it doesn't even handle good.

I mean, it's really like an old muscle car. It has something called a live axle, which is essentially like a log that keeps your wheels on it. It's just one big fat... They don't do that anymore. They do independent real suspension so that when you hit bumps, your car adjusts. Our tendency is to see how far it can go. I mean, look at our nuclear bomb arsenal.

What was it? A hundred nuclear bombs would destroy the planet, and we've got like several thousand. Just in case. Just in case. Let you bitches know we're serious, serious. Yeah, we're weird. People are weird. Gotta go to the end. We escal let you bitches know we're serious serious yeah we're weird people are weird gotta go to the end we escalate things if you know

if we're gambling you don't want you know if you you become a blackjack addict you don't want to pay for five dollars a hand you want to go to 50 you want to go to 100

you want to go to 500 really feel that fucking crazy rush and they tell you that like once you get addicted to that rush you can't take that back like you can't go from

five thousand dollars to betting a dollar and getting thrilled you won't care you get addicted to that rush, you can't take that back. You can't go from $5,000 to betting a dollar and getting thrilled. You won't care. You get angry at yourself. It's a weird thing that happens to you. We're meant to escalate. So you see those gaping videos, and you're like, yep, I get it. I see where they're at. It just makes sense.

We're fucking crazy. I think the whole anal thing, I always wondered why people wanted to do anal. Some people like it. Yeah, but I can see, have you ever been with one of those girls where you're like, man, their pussy does feel like there's a lot of extra baggage, or room in there. Extra baggage. I mean, it's just like, when you have a regular normal. You have larger vaginas.

Yeah, it's just like almost hollow. Well, I would imagine the vaginas are just like penises Brian they vary in size just like if I was like married to a girl like that I would get all right we're doing anal more often than well you don't say it like that you're gonna clean your room or take away your allowance say it like that oh I know that but oh you know that yeah I'm not gonna say it that well cuz I'm saying it to you if you say it like that. Oh, I know that. Oh, you know that. Yeah, I'm not going to say it like that. Well, because I'm saying it to you. If you're saying it to her, you pretend to be somebody who you're not. To her, I'd get her one of those centerpiece baskets from 1-800-Flowers.

Come on. Say on the card. Your vagina's gigantic. That's the number one thing 1-800-Flowers is used for. Giant vaginas. More anal. Makeup for anal and to comfort women with enormous vaginas. I think they have a special on the anal basket.

Speaking of anal, Fox News girls. Why are they so hot? Those girls are so goddamn hot. Like, I don't want to marry them. I don't want to have relationships with them. But if I was a single man, I would be very attracted to those angry bitches. Or the weathermen in LA. I just think they're so, like, aggressive.

I don't know. They're so strong. Like, they're so stern in their opinions.. I just think they're so aggressive. I don't know. They're so strong. They're so stern in their opinions. Yeah, most of them are not dumb. There's nothing to it dumb. No. There's something sexy about those mean bitches. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just because I'm a glutton for punishment. But when you're on that show, what is it like when you're in that studio? Does it feel weird? Do you feel like... Well, that's the thing. All of them just seem like they're doing their job i mean yeah they work for the evil empire but they don't they're just like whatever gets them through the day oh i need to say this thing and this thing and then we're you know we wrap for the day like so i had to remind myself

why it was important for me to do that i like reread an article about how a million people died in iraq i mean this was this was several years back and uh and you know because you don't want to fuck up the show like yeah, I felt like I needed to do it and I only wanted to be on there once. I was like, if they're having me on, it's going to be a one-time thing. This is it. Dude, if you were like a publicity whore,

and I know you're not, but that would be an awesome move. I mean, it worked out great. I never thought it. It was 7 a.m. on a Saturday. I truly thought the only people, and this was four or five years ago where not everything on the news went online. I truly thought the only people seeing it were Fox News fans at 7 a.m. on a Saturday.

And instead it went up online and viral and all that shit. If you got something relevant to say, the internet will catch it. They'll find it and they'll put it out there. Dude, go back to that girl sitting there with her legs open. Yeah, the whole time she was just sitting there with her. This is insane. I just want to point something out of how we are so weird as a culture that this is a part of normal, everyday office life. We've got to make some decisions here.

Okay, look at this woman. She's showing everything but her vagina. I mean, her knee is just strategically blocking her labia. Her legs are wide open, and she's hot as fuck. Now, here's the thing. If you put the chyron right in front of the vagina, then everybody would know the news. Exactly.

We'd be a very informed country. And women would get angry at you if you knew the news. Oh, you were looking at her vagina, and you read the fucking news, huh? It's just weird that they get to dress like that. She's completely wearing come fuck me pumps. Back that up again. Let's dissect this. Look at her, like, her shoes.

Those are like I want to go out and get sexy shoes. Those are not comfortable by any stretch of the imagination. They show most of your foot. Almost her entire legs are exposed. I mean, you imagine if a guy was sitting there like that. You know how bizarre that would be if there was a show where a guy was sitting there in a tiny, tiny kilt? And you know that you could barely— If he moves his left knee an inch to the right, you're going to see his cock for sure.

And they also have like an ejection button that slings them into the stratosphere once they hit 35. They hit an age limit. They disappear. Oh, poor girls. That's sad. I think she has some kind of irritation down there or something. Well, I think Sarah Palin brought the dumb MILF back. So who knows?

Maybe it'll move in that direction. But I don't think she actually brought it back. She brought it back for a little bit, but now people are like, God, you say too much crazy shit. GILF. GILF? You're forgetting the grandma. Right, right, right.

She's a GILF. You don't want to say that, though, because that'll fuck with your dick. It's creepy. Yeah, MILF is okay, but Gilf, not so much. It's just weird that we have these odd standards of sexual attire in the workplace. And not just in the workplace, but on television. Like on television, promoting this strange propaganda machine and just really hot girls with their vaginas hanging out.

Yeah, explosions and hot girls. Okay, I can't pay attention to whatever the fuck she's saying. Wait till you see her thighs. Oh my God. See, if I see that girl, I go, wow, I wish she liked me. You know, especially if you're lonely

and you're not married or anything. Dude, that guy is like 12 times her size yeah it's Rob Ford's fat brother and what other shows has like cameraman from the ground that's an upskirt

it is an upskirt it's totally an upskirt they're panning from the vagina up it's off center just slightly he's trying to show off his too though

you gotta give him credit he's well you know he's gotta go to war you know you gotta get a respect he doesn't give a fuck look look the only way I'm gonna get this one is if i let her know i don't give a fuck here's

my gut i'm not trying to cover myself up i'm staying an extra straight i'm spreading my legs wide look at that package he's going for the don't give a fuck yeah points he's like i might be a fat fuck but i'll fuck the shit out of you dirty bitch i'm fat because i like to live the good life that's what he's saying i like how there's playlists just of all the different ones. Who's that one? The one that you just showed. That's a fox one, too? The redhead?

Yeah, it's crazy. That one, the blonde that was on the screen. I know who she is. That's the one. She's been on these things before. They're all hot, though. They're beautiful. It's weird.

But it's just such a dirty trick. Look at this one. Especially if you're married, and you're trying to be monogamous, you're going to look at sex in a different way because you look at a girl that's super, super hot, and you go, oh, I could never get that. If you're single, even if you're delusional,

you'd be like, man, if I just ran into her at the right place and time, maybe this could happen. So it's a different thing. So there's a wistful if I just ran into her at the right place and time, maybe this could happen. So it's a different thing. So there's a wistful, almost romantic way you look at the Fox News girls if you're married. On the same note, it's like when a hot celebrity gets divorced, there's something inside the most loser of guys that's like,

now I got a shot. Like Angelina Jolie gets divorced and people are like, okay. They think all I gotta do is be there. If I'm just there. Guys are so fucking delusional. They feel like all they got to do is be at the right place at the right time. You know, maybe she goes to the car shop because her wiper's broken, and she wants to try to fix it herself.

And, you know, I get to impress her by my knowledge of windshield wipers. And she realizes, I'm just a regular guy. And sometimes girls, Jesus Christ, they're hot. Look at this. She actually pulls her skirt up Look Bam Oh how dare you

Pulling it up How dare you You dirty bitch Oh my god She's the best Look how she sits She's got perfect posture It's kind of like

Going back to when You were like Really young Looking at like JCPenney's lingerie catalogs But way more intense And you wonder Why people that watch

Fox News are idiots I mean Not that a lot of networks aren't way more intense. And you wonder why people that watch Fox News are idiots. I mean, not that a lot of networks aren't, but they did that study that people that watch Fox News know less about what's happening in the world than people who watch no news at all. I believe that. I love that study. That makes sense.

You're going to find out about Captain Kirk's love life. So these are two regular gals. This is ABC. ABC has regular gals. ABC is more probably geared towards women that don't want to be threatened. The drunk dude in the background. You never seen this video?

No. Oh my God, is he naked? No, he's just hammered in his shorts. Well, Christine, they are. The whole neighborhood knows the boy. They jumped out of a fucking second story window and fell. That's amazing. Oh my God, that's funny. That's amazing. Oh, my God.

That's funny. That's funny. Yeah, if you leave the fucking camera on long enough, people catch the craziest shit ever. Did you see any of the snowstorm driving footage? Oh, son. You got jacked. Yes. Yeah, I did.

That's crazy shit. Yeah, snowstorms all throughout the country. They've been getting these nutty snow and ice storms. Yeah. What is that, man? It should be not... It's unfair. I mean, I don't want to say that pretty girls shouldn't be able to get a job.

They certainly should. But it shouldn't be exclusively pretty girls telling you about important shit. Of course not. We're too weak. We're not paying attention to the message. No, not at all. But that's the thing. If you see an ugly girl on the news, you're like, that girl knows her shit.

All right, she fought her way to the top. There's something about, like I said, those Fox News women, the one you were talking about before the show started, who argued with someone about Santa Claus being white. Megyn Kelly apparently said very authoritatively that Santa Claus is white. She's very authoritative, always. Claus is white. She's very authoritative always. A lot of those gals are. But there's something like for beta men especially, for men that are weak and beaten down by life, the ultimate fantasy is that this woman accepts you.

The ultimate fantasy is that she's impressed by you and accepts you because she's so hard-ass. She's so obviously beautiful but also so hard-ass that there's this There's this You know When she's around you You want to like Mock Obamacare

You want to start Making fun of her You'll write specific jokes Just to make her happy On the liberals Yeah just to get in Just to get in Just to get in

Just to be able to talk to her Yeah Santa's white You're god damn right he is Of course he's white Have you ever seen Show me one picture Where Santa's black That wasn't drawn

By a black guy See yeah we were saying That Santa's black that wasn't drawn by a black guy. We were saying that Santa's probably Siberian. He probably looks Chinese. Greenpeace just put out a video of Santa in a melting hut and the point is that... He's saying how the Arctic's melting or whatever.

It's a pretty creepy video. Well, it is. It's also... Let's face it. He's going to fall through the ice before the elves. He's got a little extra weight. It's so hard to fucking figure out. When it comes to climate and climate change, it's hard to figure out why people have this weird need to be on a team,

one side or the other. I know. They have this weird need. I was in an exercise class, and someone brought up, just out of nowhere, some guy brought up climate change. And this young guy, who could have been more than 25 years old, starts going, climate change has always happened. It's a part of life.

It's a part of the cycle of Earth. It's always gotten warmer and always gotten cooler. Over a million years. Are you sure? Every and always gotten cooler. Over a million years. Are you sure? Every other time it's happened over a million years. Now it's like a hundred. Yeah, but it's also like, how much research have you done? He was there.

How much are you really aware? It wasn't what he was saying. What he was doing is just like going against liberal ideology. Yeah. Right away. I'm on team B. Team business. You know, I'm a no nonsense business

sort of a guy and it's just this need to be taken seriously and so you know he and i had this conversation i said well um it's absolutely changed throughout history it's without a doubt but it's also very possible and most likely that we're changing it right now even more rapidly than normal something to be concerned with and like you had this look on his face, like, you can't have... I was giving him both options. Right. I was giving him the option to be right, and I was also saying,

you're not a climate control scientist. And you were giving it in an easy way. Yeah. This seems like... Yeah, we don't have to argue. I don't give a fuck. I have no vested interest in being right about climate change.

I've done zero work in it. If it was my chosen field, then maybe perhaps my ego would be attached to climate change. Like Egypt. But yeah, it snowed in Egypt for the first time in a hundred and something years the other day. It snowed in Cairo. Yeah, I was in Illinois a month ago when they had the most

tornadoes they've ever had in November or whatever. I was sitting under a bridge during one of those. I'm going to Chicago in January. Yeah. That'll be fun. Yeah, Brian, I gotta get you to put that on the calendar. That's the Chicago Theater, January 24th, with beautiful and talented Ari Shafir.

It's cold as fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I heard he's moving back. I heard Ari's... Of course he's moving back. All you have to do is just be... Did he move to New York? Yeah, you get one winter there, and you're like,

oh, there's a place where I can go where I don't have to do this? I was on a couple shows with him, but I thought he was just visiting. Yeah, he stayed there for a while. I think it helped his comedy a lot. He just decided that he needed a new environment, needed to really mix it up a little. So he got an apartment there. It's 85 right now.

Yeah, in L.A. You know, New York's fucking fantastic. It's huge. It's gigantic. It's filled with all sorts of interesting stuff, and there's more museums per capita than probably any city in the country. It's a thought hub for sure. But it's also like you're also beating your brains out by being surrounded by people like that all the time.

Just... I don't necessarily think that's good for you. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, some people love it. My manager loves it. He fucking... He wouldn't live anywhere else. He keeps me angry. Yeah, he goes, I love My manager loves it. He wouldn't live anywhere else. He keeps me angry.

Yeah, he goes, I love the energy of the city. I want to be somewhere where I hear birds chirp, and I just see the wind blow gently through the trees. I don't hear anybody talking. That's what I need. But I think this is because I'm around such large numbers of people. I want a balance of that. Like with the UFC or doing comedy shows.

You get all these people. You want to balance that out with just some no people time. Your job is to watch people beat each other's heads and you don't need it on the subway and the streets, the sidewalks. I don't enjoy watching violence outside of my job. I don't think there's any more violence in New York than there is in LA.

No, I just meant angry people. In more violence in New York than there is in L.A. No, I just meant angry people. I think, in fact, probably New York is more open-minded. You know, a lot of people don't think that. They think of California as being the most open-minded. But I think, quite honestly, that there's something that you miss when you're in cars all the time. You don't interact with people. Right. I think that's actually what it is. I think that unless you're truly rich-rich in New York City and taking a cab everywhere,

you're interacting with every type of person all day long. And even if you are rich that you have to take a cab, maybe for that one brief moment you're in a different environment, but you get out of the cab, you're going to walk. And you're going to walk for a block or two, and there's going to be a fucking billion people. There's experiences like that where you're walking down New York. You don't get that anywhere else. Right. It's not parking a lot

of the office to the house garage. It's not like the mall. You didn't park your car in the mall and you're walking in holding hands like the other Dr. Seuss families. No. There's fucking hordes of people walking up and down and there's weird people and homeless people and you gotta step over bums and

you gotta see everything. You gotta see the whole fucking broad spectrum. Oh, I said it again. Yeah, I mean, I think L.A. is very kind of liberal or left-wing, but there's a lot of apathy because I feel like it's just too nice here. It's just too nice and happy. There's definitely not enough weather. People are cocky as fuck.

Yeah, there's no seasons. Yeah, they don't have to deal with weather. Weather's real. You need to know that you're on a planet that changes all the time. Right, when the cold smacks you in the a planet that changes all the time. When the cold smacks you in the face. Yeah, we found an area of the game

where we got a god code. Like, you come over here, you go, oh, there's a god code over here. It doesn't rain. It doesn't snow. It never gets cold.

The worst you have to wear is a hoodie. That's the worst you have to wear here is a hoodie. You just hit A, B, B, left, right, left, right. It's nice weather forever.

It would do everybody a lot of good if it snowed here every year yeah it would it was straight in a lot of fucking some fucking crazy ice storm tornado just once a year just snowed and got fucking cold and rained and just let you know that like look okay you ain't shit bitch i think there's a reason why people that live like on the actual coast itself um have a more humble and more laid back sort of vibe to them. Like beach towns. Like if you go to Huntington or Venice or Santa Monica, you have a more laid back sort of a vibe. And I think part of that is you're faced with the reality of the ocean.

Right. Like, you ain't shit, bitch. How massive this is. Look at you. Look at you standing there next to this insane thing that you can't even go in. And if it comes over you You're fucked And it does it Every now and then

You're just playing Russian roulette That it doesn't do it today Just one day The earth moves In the middle somewhere In a fucking Seven mile high wall

Of water Just washes A hundred miles in All the way to fucking Reseda Kills everybody Yeah that happens All the time Every once in a while

It's nice to see the earth Fight back Just be like Look I'm still in control Well just to let you know Like this is a Tita kills everybody. Yeah, that happens all the time. Every once in a while it's nice to see the Earth fight back. Just be like, look, I'm still in control. Well, just to let you know, you haven't locked this thing down at all. You have zero control of the weather. You have zero control of asteroids. You have zero control of super volcanoes and all the other shit that can happen. Fucking microorganisms could kill us any time they wanted.

You can't be scaring the fuck out of me. Sorry, man. I'm not going to do that. Sorry, man. Was there any negative repercussions when you did that Fox News thing? Yeah, it wiped out my entire career. Kind of.

Really? It switched. I mean, it was okay because I was kind of looking to make the switch anyway, but it switched me from a completely college-touring comedian. That was basically all my income

was college touring. And I had a largely apolitical, largely clean, but not exactly clean, but act. And I was kind of switching more to politics and caring more about that shit. And after this clip went viral, it was the first thing every activities board looks up on Google. And I did 500 colleges. I've probably done 10 in the past four years.

Wow, that's hilarious. And for folks who don't know, colleges pay a lot of money. A lot of guys, when they're first coming up, that's hilarious. And for folks who don't know, colleges pay a lot of money. Like a lot of guys when they're first coming up, like that's their number one goal. Their first goal is to get a college agent, get on an ACA, do good at the convention, and then start doing college tours. That was it. You can make a ton of money. Really?

Like you could do, yeah. You were a nobody. You can make like two grand a show in the 90s. Yep. Yeah, and I was a nobody, you know. And like not even, yeah, I guess the 90s, early 90s. It was still like that in the early 2000s. It's a good, it's a really good place.

Some guys get in a rut, unfortunately, and they become just college comics. Right, which is why I was looking to change, because you get stuck there. You totally do, and people don't realize it. But when you go to NACA, they offer you the chance to showcase, but they would really like you to be, like, as clean as possible. They don't want you doing any really, really controversial shit. They want you to be able to, like, they can put you on. They don't want to worry about getting any people that are offended, that are going to write letters, emails.

Right, right. People still have this impression of colleges from, like, I don't know, the 70s and 80s where they're like, oh yeah, there are these activist hubs and everything. No, college kids don't give a fuck. There's a lot of virgins in college, which is really weird. Joey Diaz and I did the University of Miami. I think it was University of Miami. Some university in Miami a couple years back. We were in the middle of something

and I remember I saw so many people that didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. I go, how many people here are virgins? I go, you don't have to raise your hand. I go, just give me a little of this. Lift your hand. It was a lot.

A lot. And I was like, you guys don't even know what I'm talking about. Like, oh my God, you're in college. You guys have to fuck. Get it over with. This is a big part of life. And you haven't even started it yet. That was your game probably, though.

You're at the University of Miami. You guys need to fuck, so we're having a party yeah but even if they know what what you mean when you say a joke about fucking they probably are a little sad they're not doing it so they get so mad at so many different things people are looking forward to protesting in a lot of ways in colleges they're trying to stretch out their protest muscles. And, you know, sometimes misguided, sometimes guided. A lot of it is done in, you know, the correct mindset, whether or not it's the correct idea to protest in the first place. But, you know, you can have a joke about anything that someone finds misogynistic. And next thing you know, there's a giant letter that's written about you, you know, from one of the people that attended

your college show. And then you have to deal with that. Yeah, I actually went to one where they told me beforehand, they go, okay, so don't curse and don't... Don't do something racist. This is the best. Don't mention drugs or alcohol. And I was like, order a clown then, all right? You don't want a comedian if you're like...

Act like half of life doesn't exist. I remember someone said, this is like a stock joke, two Jews walk into a bar and they buy it. It's silly, right? Right, right. Someone said it, and this guy comes up and says, I was very offended by that Jewish joke. I go, that's the most ridiculous shit ever. Listen to what he said.

Two Jews walk into a bar and they buy it. That means they purchased a business. They're rich, yeah. It means they have a lot of money and they purchased businesses. What's negative about that? How could you be offended by that? They're looking to be offended. People are looking to be offended.

They just hear their buzzword. Yeah, that's totally a buzzword because that joke, it's not about cheap. It's about guys who purchased a bar. It's so stupid. It's like, what are you saying? It's bad to be a badass businessman? I'm so confused. Why are you upset? But they're not really upset it's it's bad to be a badass businessman i'm so confused

why are you upset but it's they're not really upset they're just looking to be upset and there's there's a difference between someone who's actually like protesting something that's real and someone who gets upset at nonsense and it's it's fucking it's really frustrating like there's a um there's something's going on today there's a female protester. Did you see this thing? And she got arrested for sexual assault because she kissed a riot policeman's helmet. Oh, Jesus. And there's a picture of her doing it. It's really weird, man. And it's in Italy.

My people. You fucking dummies. How dare you? How dare you? This girl's beautiful. And she's pretty. And she's kissing this helmet. And they arrested her for sexual assault.

That's not the correct use of power. That's abuse of power. In the UK, they were prosecuting a protester because he called a police horse gay. Look at that. She is gorgeous. That girl's so pretty, and she's got glasses, too. That's sexual assault? I think he's well defended against the sexual assault.

I feel like he's well protected against it. That's so pretty. That's so crazy. And look at him. He probably fucked her. He's essentially got a face condom on right now. Look at his face. He looks like he has a finger in her.

They got together and they did some odd couple sex after this. It's just so weird, the things that people try to get away with. Something like that. How could you try to get away with that? You don't know that that's a bad thing to do? This. This. Making someone go to court

and arresting them for sexual assault, for kissing a fucking, a woman who's gently kissing a policeman's outfit. Right. What, it was children here? This dude went into chase, Reverend Billy, well-known protester. He was facing a year in jail

because he went into Chase Bank with some people and they sang about the death of the rainforest or something. And they called it riot, causing a riot or something. They should go to jail just for being dumb. But a riot? Singing is a riot? You can't save the rainforest at the fucking bank by singing. That's so misguided.

Seriously, that's like trying to win a game of pool when you're at home in bed. To be fair, in this picture, though, we don't know if this lasted for 30 minutes, her trying to grope him and try to grab his dick. Shut up. You know what I mean? All it says is kissed. If she did all that other stuff, they would drag it out. They would add that as well.

All she did was kiss him. She kissed him. I mean, his pants were off during that. People are so fucking silly. Look, you know what happened there. No one got hurt. The idea that you would do that, try to take someone through the legal system for something so silly,

that makes me angry that you have any power because you're a petty piece of shit. You know, to do that to someone who just kissed you, come on, you're a petty piece of shit. That's cute. You don't think it's cute that a beautiful woman kissed your fucking shield? She didn't hurt you, dude.

Stop. It's like when that UC Davis guy... It's abusive power. When that UC Davis guy pepper sprayed all those kids and the world just went fucking bananas. It's the same thing. You know that's not right. You know you can't just walk up to children.

Dude, maybe you can look it up, but he sued and got something like $30,000 for getting fired or whatever after doing that. Well, from the internet response for post-traumatic stress. Oh, yeah. He said it depressed him. Of course it did. The world found out you're a cunt. Yeah. That would suck.

I mean, can you imagine how much hate that guy got? He was depressed. Oh, Jesus. How much hate did that dude get? Deserved. All deserved. Well, this guy, Franco Macari, I guess,

he says he's not prepared to brush off the incident as a peaceful gesture. Oh. God. What an idiot. The Italian police is broken. Broken.

I was down at Occupy LA. I went down there for one day like a year ago. What did it smell like? What did it smell like? It smelled fine. It was like a year ago, but it wasn't the occupation. It was part of the art walk or whatever. And they were getting, right as I showed up, they were getting shot with rubber bullets

for writing in chalk on the sidewalks. And these kids had, some of these kids had these big bloody welts from where they, it was crazy. Dude,

those rubber bullets can fuck you up. Yeah. And they'll take out an eye too. If they hit you in the eye, you will go blind. I know a girl who lost an eye. Oh my God.

That's so crazy from a fucking, what? I got shot with one a long time ago. You got shot with a rubber bullet? Yeah, they,

in Ohio State campus, every time they played Michigan, shit just went crazy. People would catch cars on fire. They would bomb the whole entire campus with tear gas and stuff. So even if you're in your house, you would still have tear gas in your house. When you say they, you mean the students would do that? The cops. The cops.

The cops. The campus police. To break up the protests. Well, it wasn't a protest. It was just nonstop partying. Like every street had houses on, or cars on fire. Too much partying. Here's some tear gas.

Yeah. So they used to just, they used to just shoot the rubber bullets to get us off the streets. And I was just walking from a bar to my house, trying to get back to my house. And they're like, get in your house. I'm like, I'm trying to walk. And they just started firing at us and it hit me in the leg. And my whole leg just bubbled up and got black and it hurt like fuck.

Yeah. That's, that's some rude shit. I mean, those fucking things, it's not like, like a nerf bullet, the rubber and they're going like bullet speeds,

you know, I think. How fast do they go? Yeah, it's pretty fucking fast. Trains, train guys used to shoot us, try to shoot us too.

Like, like on train tracks is we would always like put like put nickels and quarters on the train tracks and stuff, and they would see us near, and they would just start firing these guns, and then they wouldn't really aim it at us. They were just trying to scare us. Gun guns? They were rubber bullet guns, but they were just firing them in the air. Shooting them in the air?

Yeah. Fucking Ohio, a bunch of savages. They might as well be in the Dark Ages. Yeah. There's a weird thing that people are doing. Oh, there's the rubber bullet. I was like next to that kid. That dude got jacked.

Yeah. It is really weird they're allowed to do that. I mean, come on. Especially when, it really drives me crazy, is when, look at the size of that. The proof that they've used agent provocateurs to break up protests, where they hire cops to put masks on

and start breaking shit. Tons of them. And then they go, the protesters are breaking shit. We have to hire, we have to fire cops and arrest everybody. And so then they move in,

they turn a non-peaceful protest into, or a peaceful protest into a violent protest. I mean, that's the thing. Most of these occupy like half of the people

that no one knows. Like a quarter of the people were cops. Yeah. That's the inside joke, right? It got to the point where people were saying that it was like 30-something percent, like half of the people, no, like a quarter of the people were cops. Yeah. That's the inside joke, right? It got to the point where people were saying that it was like 30-something percent, like literally, of all Occupy people. It's crazy.

I wonder if that guy, the CIA guy, was there too. That was his job. A fake climate expert who's trying to save the world. He's also trying to get some hippie pussy. He tried to go to the Occupy. What is the current status of Occupy? Because it seemed like it was really exciting for a while, but now it just seems like it's been infiltrated like the mob

and brought to its knees. I mean, I think that, you know, I don't know whether the brand Occupy will continue, but the activists that were kind of activated by Occupy, I think they're all still out there and they're all doing a lot of things. A lot of it's online. Yeah, no doubt. I'm not trying to demean their efforts,

but what I'm saying is that at one point in time, there was this sense when all these people were lining up around these businesses and they're camping out in these parks, there was a sense that, like the way I described it, it was almost like some white blood cells had gathered around some sort of an injury. Like some white blood cells figured out around some sort of an injury. Like some white blood cells figured out there's something wrong with this area and we're just going to surround it until we figure it out. And that's what these people are doing by standing there and having all their speeches in the parks and protesting. But then it became like a thing to do as well.

It developed sort of like a social thing of its own. It became, what are you showing, Brian? This is like some of the shit I was telling you. Oh, like Ohio State stuff? The Occupy thing became like, I was listening to this interview with this kid who is, he was in college and didn't know what he was going to do with his life, and he

decided to drop out and become a part of the Occupy movement. It's like then, once I saw that, it became clear what I should do with my life. And I'm like, wow, okay. I don't know about that. You know, I don't know. I think a lot of people were activated by it and kind of realized what was going on with our society. And I think that's incredibly important.

I mean, you also have to, you know, yes, there are a million failings and we could go through them all. But you have to think this is the first ever spontaneous global protest movement in mankind's history. That's an achievement in and of itself. And it also changed the entire conversation in the country from austerity to the fact that, hey, these like couple of thousand people have an incredible amount of wealth. Yeah. What I was going to say is that it was sort of one of those things when you're seeing all these people protest, where you're realizing that this model of like no leader thing doesn't really work. Yeah. No, it needs to be something in between. I believe that. Yeah. It's like this, it's sort of like got infiltrated and then sort of scattered and it lost its message in a lot of people's eyes and then it stopped being relevant. And a lot of people, when they talk about the news you don't really hear about occupied protests very often anymore

it was a big thing for quite a while we hear about it on a regular basis but i think i i hate the idea of leaders but i think there's something to at least like a governing body that keeps everything together yeah i mean yeah there needs to be some leaders i think there needs to be some democracy so of some form um but it was interesting to see i mean a lot of their a lot of the collapse of it besides the pepper spray and the and the shooting with rubber bullets and all that stuff that was done uh you know it was because the the media all kind of came together and said we are all going to trash it i mean the new york times first article on it like online or whatever a few days in or maybe a weekend was just saying how stupid it was and how, oh, the mascot of the movement is this topless girl who's dancing. And, you know, it was like ridiculous.

I was down there. I knew exactly what they were talking about. It was ridiculous. And so that's the left-wing New York Times. I mean, that's our media. Remember when Giuliani was doing that speech? He said, why don't you go occupy a job? Remember when Giuliani was doing that speech?

He said, why don't you go occupy a job? That's like a bad opening act in Jersey. Maybe because a lot of these people were occupying a job for like $7 an hour and couldn't afford the bus home from the job. Yeah, you want to talk about a dude who's out of the loop. Are you really saying that, man? Yeah, this billionaire. Yeah, weren't you the mayor of fucking new york city like hello you don't know that it's a mess out there yeah occupy a job did you really fucking

say that silly bitch it just seems that it's it's the the sign of the times that um enough people like get together and go yeah yeah like there's enough agreement that you can have this gigantic, huge movement without a leader. But I think ultimately that's one of the issues with it, the non-defined structure and non-defined leadership position. Yeah, it can both be a benefit and a detraction. I mean, look at like, say, for example, WikiLeaks. It was like they were able to collapse that thing by imprisoning essentially Julian Assangeange the guy at the top so you take one leader you can cut that head off really easy but if you had let's say a lot of leaders to some degree or a lot of uh you know

each each different area elected somebody to kind of run things or whatever did you see the salon piece on um uh on uh there were there's discussion about offering Edward Snowden amnesty. Discussion by who? There's certain NSA officials that are considering amnesty for Snowden, and they're proposing. Oh, because they're really nervous because apparently only 1% of what he might have has been put out. So there's a lot of stuff they're nervous about coming out. State Department and Justice Department aren't on board. They don't want to do it. They think it would encourage

the future Edward Snowden of the world. Future whistleblowers, yeah. Yeah, but... If they're actually saying that, though, they must be so terrified. Oh, they're terrified. In my opinion, that dude's a fucking hero. He's a digital Paul Revere.

I mean, yeah. People should be furious. Let us know that it's coming. Well, he's like, he's a digital Paul Revere. I mean, people should be furious. Let us know that it's coming. Like, hey. Yeah, look at what's being done. The enemy is spying on you all the time. And listen, whether you love Obama or you hate Obama, this is a dictator's toolkit. Let's say Obama wasn't even using it. This is a dictator's toolkit for the next dude that gets into office.

Yeah, and it's the idea that we're supposed to just tolerate that because it's the government. Like there's a whole reason why there's a constitution. There's a whole reason why people are elected into office. Right. Because they're supposed to represent our state of government. They're supposed to represent some really clearly thought out rules that were a lot of times designed to factor in the possibility of corruption. So they kept out the influence of religion, they kept out the influence of corruption. This was all done on purpose.

It was all really astutely engineered. Three branches, all that shit. And slowly but surely, elected officials just chipped away at all that stuff. Just right in front of us, chipped away. And everyone was busy paying attention to Kim Kardashian's ass. Nobody even noticed that it was happening. And then slowly but surely things like the ndaa get passed and i know indefinite detention of american indefinite detention with not only that that you don't have rights to an attorney you don't have it's craziness like trial or charges this is soviet russia type shit this

is nazi shit it's like you can't do that this is america on on my web series i interviewed chris hedges who was one of the people taking Obama to court over NDAA. And they ultimately lost, but they scared the shit out of the government that they couldn't use this thing where they imprison people without a trial or charges. It's insane. It's so crazy that you would want to do that. Why would you want to go around all of our checks and balances that are in place to ensure that people that are being tried are actually guilty? Why would you want to do that? The only reason why you'd want to do that is if you want to use that power to imprison people for your own whims for your own decisions because you you decide this guy's a

an enemy of your your your cabinet whatever the fuck you decide and you want that guy demonized and and you know same idea with americans he's got americans on his kill list and eric holder was asked hey what would you ever take out an american on american soil and his response was it would have to be a really bad thing going on or like you're like so you said yes you would take out an american on american soil like it's it's just insanity well they were considering doing that christopher dormer do you remember that christopher dormer was oh the cop. Oh, the cop? Yeah, that went crazy and killed the family of police officers, killed police officers, and killed a bunch of people.

And then there was talk in the news and a bunch of different newspaper articles that I read that he might be the very first domestic use of the drone for combat. And they might... Could you imagine? Fucking death for the sky, bitch. Take out the whole neighborhood. You can't shoot a gang of cops and their family.

They're going to shoot missiles at you from the air. There's a big disparity between the capabilities of the average American citizen, the average human being, and the government that runs these average human beings. And whenever you have an imbalance of power, you're going to have abuse. Because people are going to want to have some of that power. They're going to want to have a taste. You've got to keep them down. In order to enjoy this position that you're going to have abuse. Because people are going to want to have some of that power. They're going to want to have a taste. You've got to keep them down. In order to enjoy this position that you're in, you've got to

fucking make some decisions and be tough on people. I'm looking at your email, bitch. How about that? I'll monitor every single one of your calls because I want to make sure you're not a terrorist, okay? Meanwhile, you're just Bob Smith, who got elected to office and decided to change the entire rules for running the government.

They're not like monks. They're not like monks. They're not like these guys who meditated for 20 years on a mountain and achieved enlightenment and then became the perfect leaders for our society.

They're regular guys with stupid shoes with those slippery bottom shoes with tassels. They're fucking weirdos, these guys. They're regular rich dudes

that are abusing their power and people should be fucking furious about this. I don't understand why there's not more outrage. Because we don't feel it. I have a very good friend. He's a very good friend. He's a very nice guy.

He's a writer. He's very smart. And he said, you know what, man? I don't feel it. I'm looking around at my friends. They're doing good. I'm looking at a lot of my family. They're doing good.

I go, oh, my God. That's like saying that if you were in a sunny field somewhere in Kansas, you can't believe that Pakistan has a tornado. Right, right, right. That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. And you can't imagine it might come back to you eventually. Yeah, the idea that you're doing good, your friends are doing good, so there's not that much corruption. It's not like these are rumors. All this NSA stuff, they admitted it.

Everyone admitted it. And every time, you know, and people will stand up for certain things. Every time they try and pass some gun legislation, people get furious, all right? And I'm not talking about whether you should have guns or not. But the people who stand up for that stuff should also stand up against this other stuff. Because all those things you have your gun for to protect your freedom, your family, your property, they're taking that by other means. Your freedom's gone. They're reading your emails.

You can be locked away without a trial or charges. Your family's indebted to student loans and will end up at some job they hate because they're paying that shit off the rest of their lives. You know, half your house is foreclosed on. All that shit you want to protect with your gun, they're taking without guns. You know why?

Fox News chicks. They're too goddamn hot. They're too hot! They're too hot. You want to just make them happy. You want to just tell them, hey, I'm a hunter. guns you know why fox news chicks they're too good they're too hot they're too hot you want to just make them happy you want to you want to you want to just tell them hey i'm a hunter i'm i fish i'm an outdoorsman i mean i think everyone should be able to carry a concealed weapon this is america god damn it yeah yeah yeah obamacare come on get on with it i mean what

is he even trying to prove with that you know there's a reason a reason why. Well, we need to fix our healthcare system, but unfortunately, the way he did it was by basically saying all the insurance companies could go nuts. Yeah, I think what happened is he wanted to do something, I mean, this is a total optimist guess, that he wanted to do something good, and then the only way he was able to

pull it off at all was to make it some sort of a cunty shell game where the insurance companies actually profit off of it. But ultimately, everybody make it some sort of a cunty shell game where the insurance companies actually profit off of it. But ultimately, everybody does get some sort of healthcare. I think healthcare, I mean, this is one thing that I fully believe in. Healthcare and police and cleaning the streets and disposing of waste and all that stuff should be taken care of by any logical, healthy society first.

Education, health, safety, cleanliness. All that's primary. That's primary. After that, let's worry about Janet Jackson's nipple on television. After that, let's worry about all these other things. The idea that people should have to pay for their own health care and like, look, man. That's the point of being in a society that's successful. We can use our money to pay doctors. And the doctors should like look man that's the point of being in a society exactly successful we can use our money to pay doctors and the doctor should be paid well by the way the big problem with doctors in these

situations is that the doctors always get fucked they have massive malpractice insurance yeah huge student loans they have to pay off dude when I go to a doctor now they're afraid to say anything because they think oh well it might come back to me so they say well, well, it could be this thing. It might not be. It might be. I don't know. You're like, hey, I stubbed my toe.

Do I have cancer? And he's like, probably not because they don't want to say you don't have cancer because then if you have cancer, they're fucked. Yeah. Then you could sue them because they weren't right about your cancer. Jesus Christ. But I think that there should be a bunch of well-motivated, well-paid doctors and teachers and policemen. That should be taken care of right away.

And they've got to change the idea of the role of a policeman and the idea of the role of a teacher. There should be noble positions in society. Right, right. We shouldn't only give perks in society to celebrities like tables at restaurants and things like that. I think the best teachers in the country should be able to fuck a 14-year-old every once in a while and not get in trouble. Only if it's a 14-year-old boy

and it's a girl and she looks like one of those Fox News chicks. That's a joke. How dare you bust a joke out about that. Do you think that there's a... What are you showing more? Oh my god, she's putting on a goddamn show. Well, she got it down to a science. She knows exactly where that lens is.

She's milfy. She's very milfy. Yeah. Those girls, you get them alone, they go crazy on you. I forget what I was going to talk about. You want more, don't you? No, I don't. You want more? She scares me.

She scares me. Oh, she did again. I'm lucky. I'm lucky. I'm lucky. I'm happy. Did you see that video on my feed of this fucking idiot putting his arm in a tiger's mouth? He's playing with a tiger. No.

What? Go back to... Go on my feed about nine hours ago. On my Twitter feed. It's the most ridiculous thing ever. I can't believe this guy was willing to do this. And just hopes that this tiger plays along with him. It's so hard to watch.

The tiger's biting his arm. Like, it has this entire arm in its mouth and it's got these huge, giant teeth. See if we can spread that out. Where was it that he had a tiger? I don't know. I think he's a trainer. But look at this crazy asshole. Oh my god, this tiger is literally biting his whole arm.

It's so big. That head is so big. It would just snap his arm right off anytime it wants to. And he's just sticking it in there. And look at the dog. How about that dog that's circling the situation? He's like, what the fuck is that? Did you see the dog?

Yeah. That poor dog is like, um. Maybe he fills up the tiger on dogs. The dog doesn't know what the fuck to do. The dog is like, okay, what the fuck is that? The tiger gets filled up on dogs And then doesn't eat the human The dog doesn't know what the fuck to do He's not going to protect you

Did you see the guy that sleeps with the tiger? And like dogs This tiger is just like, hey, I'm just hanging out Yeah, these people are assholes. These people are assholes. You know why? Because they encourage other people to do this too. And maybe you can pull it off.

Maybe you have this incredible rapport with tigers. But this idea that we're supposed to do a lot of really dangerous shit with big, wild, dangerous animals is so fucking stupid. You just shouldn't be surprised when that dude eats the guy. Well, we played a video last week of this trained bear attacking the trainer's, I think it was one of the trainer's relatives, like his brother or something like that. This bear just, out of nowhere, just decided to rip this guy's throat out.

They're doing these things. They're training him. The guy's just standing there. The guy's not threatening the bear at all. And the bear says, you know what? I'm just going to fuck this dude up real quick. Just attacks him. Rips him apart. Maybe it was when you tried to put him on the tricycle. He decided

he had enough. Did you ever see that video where the bear eats the monkey? No. Oh my god. It's a Russian circus bear. Pull that shit out, Brian. Russian circus bear attacks monkey. There was a monkey driving a bike and a bear was driving a bike. And was a monkey driving a bike, and a bear was driving a bike, and they collided. The monkey fell,

and the bear ran over the monkey and smashed it. At a show? Like kids watching? At a circus. And the bear just decided to fuck that monkey up. Because the bear didn't know. The bear thought it was being attacked by the monkey. They're not that smart. They're in pain. They fell. They see the monkey. They're pretty sure

the monkey caused this. So they just bite the shit out of this monkey. You know, during Shakespeare's time, one of the most popular shows was a monkey riding a horse and then a bear would try and eat the monkey or whatever. It was called bear baiting. Oh my god. They fucking loved it.

I've heard of bear baiting in other ways. I've heard one bear baiting thing where they'd take pit bulls, and they would tie the bear down by chains and then release the dogs on him and see how many dogs it took to take down a bear. The bear was frustrated because he was losing too, I think. Maybe. I don't think bears are competitive. I don't think bears are competitive.

Watch, the monkey falls, and the bear falls on the monkey, and he's like, bitch, and just attacks him. Oh, so he was using the bike to catch the monkey and eat him like, bitch, and just attacks him. Oh, so he was like using the bike to catch the monkey and eat him. No, no, no, no, no. The monkey fell and the bear ran over the monkey. It's not the bear. The bear's not a strategy guy. He's not like thinking

five steps ahead, I gotta figure out how to fuck this monkey up and make it look like it's his fault. They just did a documentary, supposed to be good, about that killer whale that ate that trainer. Oh, talking about blackfish.

Yeah, no doubt. Yeah, we had one of the guys in from Marineland that was originally one of Tilikum's trainers. Oh,

really? Yeah, we had him in a couple of weeks ago, Phil Demers, and he was fascinating. You know, he was telling us

like how it's just a goddamn business. Like, they don't give a fuck about those animals. They treat them like shit. Those animals were really smart. Wow this pandas fucking this dude up Dude, I've never seen a panda that excited about anything. Yeah, you think a panda wouldn't really give a fuck Well, you he wants that jacket. He was wearing jean jacket on jeans jean on jeans It turns out Jay Leno look

It turns out... That's a Jay Leno look. Hey, everybody. He's like... This panda's like, I hate prison. It turns out a panda is a bear at the end of the day. He's like, I hate prison. Come on. Why you got me in prison, you fucks?

But Phil was talking to us about Marineland, about how depressing it is seeing those orcas trapped in these fish tanks and they wind up having sex with their kids because they're so confused and horny and they're isolated and it's really, really evil. If you haven't seen Blackfish, go see it. And if you haven't seen the podcast with Phil, it's very enlightening

and eye-opening. And if you go to savesmooshy.com, you can actually aid in his legal defense because he's getting sued by the people of Marineland. Really? Yeah. Cancel SeaWorld gig. Yeah, Martina McBride is one of them. Willie Nelson canceled. Joan Jett canceled. Yeah, these are just the latest getting sued by the people of marine land really yeah cancel sea world gig yeah martina mcbride is one of them willie nelson willie nelson joan jett canceled yeah these are just the latest ones yeah everybody is canceled they should boycott those things those things are prisons those are

prisons for aliens they're aliens that live under the water and they're smart as shit and if we found them on another planet we would worship them right right but because they're in the ocean and because we can catch them with these big nets and scoop them up with cranes, we do it. We're assholes. People who run SeaWorld, you are fucking assholes. No one knows those dolphins and those whales more than you guys do, and you know what you're

doing, so fuck you. I've never gone to SeaWorld. I never will go to SeaWorld. I've always thought SeaWorld was fucked up, and talking to this guy, he just cemented that thought in my mind. It's just, it's not... Yeah, because they grab them as kids. I mean, the part, I only saw two minutes of the documentary,

but they grab the kids out of the water, and the rest of the whales wait around because they don't want to leave because they realize one of them has been trapped. It's so fucked, dude. They're smart, man. Yeah. We can't do that. That's not cool.

You can't do that just because you can't understand what they're saying when they complain. We know they're smart Yeah, it's it's it's one of the most evil things. I mean, it's essentially slavery It's no different than slavery and the idea that it is like this is not a goldfish Okay, you could take a goldfish and do whatever you want to it I don't give a shit you can eat a goldfish for a prank. You will never hear me complain You know why because goldfish aren't smart. I will never hear me complain. You know why? Because goldfish aren't smart. I like smart things. You know, and things that are really smart.

You know, not like dog smart or pig smart. Like, dolphins are really fucking smart. Like, kind of people smart in some weird way. And you're an asshole if you put that in a fucking swimming pool. They, like, use tools, dolphins. Well, they're maniacs, and they do a lot of bad things. And there's a video of a masturbating dolphin who's fucking a headless fish. You know, they're crazy.

They're hypersexual. Like humans. There's a lot of, yeah. Like humans, you got your geniuses, and then you got the ones that are seeing how big the asshole can gape. No doubt. And much like humans, the vast majority of them are good. Yeah. You know, if you're walking around on the street in any normal city, the vast majority of the people that you run into are good people.

They're not trying to be criminals. They're not trying to hurt others. Most people are good people. It's just the ones that are not good stand out. Right. And you focus on them. Right. And it becomes something that people want to pay attention to.

I have a thing I do in my act about how the top billionaires, like the Koch brothers and shit, I hate when people go to them for advice on how to run the society. They're psychopaths. I mean, you wouldn't respect anyone else who collects a billion of something. If you find out someone's got a million shoes, you know they have a fucking problem. What about if a guy like Bill Gates? I mean, everything I've heard, he's kind of a psychopath, too.

Not the initial inventing stuff. It's what you do after that. Right. Well, what is it? Is it just that he kept going and kept making more and more and more to the point where he just, who needs $90 million, dude? Well, it's not just making. I mean, the way they make more. I don't know specifically about what Microsoft does, but it's a lot of tearing like, you know, tearing apart anybody else that could threaten them.

As does Apple. Yeah. You know, Apple's pretty ruthless. I'm not defending anyone. When it comes to competition. Yeah, yeah. All these businesses where they're making tons of money, you know, they protect that shit.

It's a game. It's just like protecting your pieces if you're playing chess. If you're in the business to make money, that's, you know, you offer a good product, so your conscience is clear. I mean, Apple makes a hell of a laptop. They make great stuff. I don't know if their conscience is clear. You look at the netting around the

Foxconn factory in the U.S. Essentially, no one can be conscience clear. We all get these conflict minerals that power our electronics. They almost all come from impoverished areas where there's a lot of, for the longest time, the Congo, there's a lot of slaves that were doing it,

young kids that were doing it. I think still is. In a lot of places, I mean, Vice did some powerful work on that. Shane Smith, who'll be here on Wednesday. They went there and they investigated the whole, what's going on? Like, why do we need to be here?

Like, what's the main main appeal and it's coltan yeah coltan yeah it's stuff that they use to make cell phones we need it in all cell phones so like it's almost impossible to like have a conflict free like electric car but here's the thing you could pay

if our system was set up differently you could pay those workers mining that coltan a nice wage like a livable wage yeah no shit If our system was set up differently, you could pay those workers mining that coltan a nice wage. Yeah. Like a livable wage. Yeah, no shit. And there was a, I don't know if they ever got done, but I know it was a proposition to make cell phones that were, there's a thing called FreePhone. And everything was.

Saw that, yeah. But I think they only went with, they only had like 3G. They didn't have like 4 LTE. They were like a step behind people are like oh i need the latest shit you know i want to i want to save the world but the cell phone that i had last year it's not good enough listen i need some new shit i need to save the world but this cell phone's a month old so that hcc1 can you do that can you make me one of those yeah people don't want the older shit

we've we've been carefully trained to not want the older shit is that what it is yeah we've been trained yeah isn't it though isn't it just a natural human inclination to always want the best yeah so i think it's a natural human inclination like i i feel that materialism i think materialism is obviously an empty pursuit i mean i don't think anybody can argue that the pursuit of objects, ultimately over everything, over emotions and friendships and love affairs, is stupid. It's stupid. Objects are not going to make you happy. You need all those other things.

But if you have all those other things, then objects are pretty cool. Right. You know? I mean, if somebody gives you a really dope lamp and you put it in your office, you're like, this thing is fucking badass. And you look at it and it gives you a good feeling. like a really dope lamp and you put it in your office like this thing is fucking badass and you look at it it gives you like a good feeling that's a material thing that you own that's actually pretty nice and artwork falls into that as well i mean artwork essentially is materialism if you're

collecting paintings i mean you're you're collecting someone's expression and someone's work but you're also collecting a material thing right you're collecting an object right but i think i think it's a vicious cycle in which we're told to always want the newest one, and the companies are rewarded for designing something that changes every month. I mean, I booted up. I hadn't used my iPad.

I just didn't have any use for it for like two years, and I rebooted it up. Nothing works with it anymore. You can't. No apps work. Nothing. Because it's designed to kick you off and say, oh, you got to get a new one, or we're going to, you know, everything stops working.

Well, there's a reason for that, though. The reason for that, engineering-wise, is that they want to be able to control their product, ultimately. And they want to make it the best experience possible. It's not just the best experience. It's technological, but there's a technological reason for constantly updating the operating system, constantly updating the applications. They improve them. Some of the time, but changing the shape of the plug so you can't have the old plug.

But it transfers data quicker. And it was 11 years that they had the old plug. And the new plug is a million times better. You're right and you're wrong at the same time. You're right if you want to think as far as economics and like yeah, you should be able to save people money Let them use a USB plug Why do you have to have this thing that nobody else has but the thing that nobody else has works better? Which is it's a better it's it transfers data quicker. It's a better connection allegedly

What do I know and if you have like if you have like a place? If you have like a PlayStation 1 game, you're not going to play it like a PlayStation 4. What is that shit called? What is the new thing? Lightning bolt connection? Lightning bolt. Is that what it is? Yeah.

And is that what connects your iPhone 5? Yeah. Lightning bolt connector. Better? Okay, here's the question. Oh, yeah, it's a lot better. It's a lot faster, and it's a different USB also. The old one is a lot slower.

and it's a different USB also the old one is a lot slower the connections remember like where you would always have problems with like plugs like or if you had like a alarm clock that had a dock system in it it always had that wiggle thing where you had to put something behind it just to get it connected that's because it was just not a well-designed plug you know for multiple uses yeah yeah so apparently it does. It transfers data quicker. It transfers, wow, data up to 10 gigabytes per second, double the speed of current USB 3.0.

So that just answers your question. But we're only talking about tech. I mean, there's other things. But that's what they do. Like shelves. Shelves collapse in a month nowadays. Oh, yeah. You get like IKEA shit.

Yeah, but we're talking about like updating applications and how your iPad wouldn't work. And I really think that that's because they're just constantly upgrading shit and they're making it better and faster. And I agree it's frustrating if you're trying to save money. But if you're not trying to save money, that's what you want them to do. You want everybody to push the latest shit. Like, oh, so what? I have to get a new plug. But now my business can transfer its data in 20 minutes as opposed to 40 minutes.

Yeah, but like, so I've got the older phone, whatever this is, the Android, and I've had it for like two years and it still works fine. I just don't have the fastest phone. You sound like my dad.

What's going on with you? You're a young man. You're young. You're healthy. I don't need the fastest phone. That's all I'm saying. It works fine. It works fine.

I used to do a joke about that. I use a carrier pigeon. I used to do a joke about how He's been with me pigeon. I used to do a joke about how no one... He's been with me 12 years. No one ever looks at cell phones and goes, okay, that's it. We're done. We're done.

We did it. Screen's big enough. It's fast enough. It's not going to happen. For whatever reason, we need the latest, greatest shit. We all do. And you might not because you're a fucking... Because I'm a loser.

Bohemian with your two-year-old iPad. I'll pull out my Etch-a-Sketch. Etch-a-Sketch is always good for a laugh. My glasses. Yeah, I honestly think that what we're talking about, about materialism, although it's kind of an empty pursuit, I really think that it's one of the things that's pushing what human beings are doing on this planet overall, which is advancing technology. I think one of the things that we do, if you looked at us just completely outside of our

culture, outside of your life, outside of your reality, and looked at this swarm of beings, and what's at the forefront of swarm of beings, it's objects. They're constantly creating newer cars, bigger TVs, better computers, better phones. They're constantly obsessing on these objects, and they're working jobs they don't even enjoy just to feed the machine that creates these objects. Which is really sad when you say that. Well, I don't know if it's sad. Working jobs they don't enjoy. I don't know if it's sad.

That's their lives. That's a lot of people, though, to be honest. Yeah, that's my point. A good percentage of people made a mistake somewhere and did something that they don't want to do. Good percentage that did it for just a living living and there's no passion to their life. It's a good percentage. I wonder though if when you see all this symbiotic connection that we have with cell phones, like you can't leave your house

without your cell phone, you feel weird. They're talking about the Google Glass. You're going to have to wear that. We're becoming more and more addicted to all these things. We're getting closer and closer and closer to it. It might be the whole reason for materialism in the first place. It might be that's the pull of materialism. Materialism might ultimately just be the engine

that creates a symbiotic relationship between people and technology. Very positive way to look at that. I don't even think it's positive because it sounds pretty negative. There's going to be a lot of shit that's different. I do agree. I mean, technology is increasing exponentially, and in some ways it's great, and in some ways I feel like we could be using it for better things.

Certainly could. The drone Amazon delivery system that they've been talking about, like, all right, it's lovely. You're bringing a slap chop to an agoraphobic, obese coleslaw addict. But couldn't those drones be used for something more important? Well, for them, I mean, their business is selling people shit. So why would they do that? Right. That's my point.

They're using other drones. But if they're going to use that drone for their business, at least it's cool. At least you're hanging out in the city and you see drones fly by dropping off packages. That's some Orwellian shit, though, man. Yeah, I don't trust those drones one bit. Fuck, they're going to land on people. They're going to break.

I get nervous about a Roomba. I don't know who he's reporting back to. When is one of them going to run out of batteries and spiral right into some little kid's stroller? Oh, yeah. In the first week. It's going to happen. You can't tell me those things are feel-proof. And how about people to run out of batteries and spiral right into some little kid's stroller? Oh, yeah. In the first week. It's going to happen. You can't tell me those things are field proof. And how about people shooting them out of the sky? Are you going to get some crazy rednecks?

Like, there's places in Colorado. They passed a law in some area of Colorado allowing you to shoot drones out of the sky. Shoot a drone. Yeah. They can't do it, but they can try. You can allow it. Well, if you have a high-speed rifle and it's hovering, if you catch it hovering, you shoot it right out of the sky. They're allowing people to do that.

You're talking about the Amazon drones, not the full-size drones. They're talking about drones, period. This state, Colorado, is a wacky state. No, I know they allow it. I just didn't know if it was possible for the type of— To do? Yeah, to do. Yeah, you can do it.

It's been done. They've done it with rocket launchers. They've done it with heat-seeking missiles. I know they've taken drones out before. Definitely. If you have a high-powered rifle with a scope, if it hovers, if it's not moving, and even if it is moving, you can lead it.

If you're a really good sniper, like one of those Marines... Well, a lot of the time, they're supposed to be a mile up where you can't see them. Oh, that makes sense. I guess they can be, right? They can be as high up as they want. There's no people in there. They're often, like, when they're bombing over in Afghanistan, you can't see them.

It's so crazy. It's such a weird thing that we just accepted that as part of our civilization. Yeah. Yeah. How far we've come over the past 50. It used to be, like, 10 years ago, if someone was like, dude, this drone's taking people out, you'd be like, what are you smoking? And they don't even try to make it seem like it's just. At least the Patriot Act was called the Patriot Act.

You know what I mean? They've given up on the Orwellian. These hellfire missiles. Hellfire. What did it say up there, Brian? What did the headline say? Colorado's town vote on drone ordinance postponed. Oh, someone got

a hold of them. Yeah. Yeah, they were going to make it so they'd be able to shoot drones at this guy. Yeah.

Oh, we're so crazy. That's never going to happen because those bullets are going to fall down and hit people and shit like that. Oh, they certainly

will. Well, that happens every year on New Year's and these assholes go shooting off their guns. Bullets land on people. Yeah, people die every year of that. Somewhere in the country, somewhere in the year on New Year's. These assholes go shooting off their guns. Bullets land on people. Yeah, people die every year of that.

Somewhere in the country, somewhere in the world. That's awesome. There's something beautiful about that. It's terrible. 150 people die every year because coconuts fall on their head. Yeah. No, far more people die from peanut allergies in this country than terrorism. Isn't that crazy?

Peanuts are a motherfucker. That's my argument against weed. When Dr. Drew type characters start talking about the withdrawal symptoms of weed. Like, not so much. Not for normal people. For one of them peanut allergy freaks. Well, and weed's not killing as many people as peanuts. It's not killing anybody.

But I mean, even the people that get these withdrawal syndromes, peanuts are worse. Like, peanuts are a higher percentage of people. Like, the amount of people that are getting like really addicted to weed oh my god isn't even one in a thousand yeah what are the symptoms like boredom they're just bored

well they say that they can't they have to have it they can't I think they're idiots I really do I think a lot of them that talk about being

addicted to weed they're idiots I buy the ones that say if they do weed then they'll start doing coke and then they'll get crazy yeah but doesn't that start earlier

like alcohol like why do you have to put it on weed as the gateway? Well, also, it's like why do you have to put it on anything? Because what you're really doing is taking something that's innocuous and you're just doing your natural escalating. Whether you would do with masturbating, with gambling, with prostitution, you're a fucking crazy person. You're just looking to get nutty.

And so you get nutty with weed and then you blame the weed and then Dr. Drew's got you on the couch. And it's like, when did you know that you were out of control? The weed pulled me. There was a grip. I couldn't get up without a bond yet. Like, the girl's an idiot. How about the first time I fucked?

I was like, this is really exciting. And I want to do this more. Yeah. So then I did weed. And then I moved on. Yeah. I think it's like we were talking about earlier with the whole Fox thing.

It's like, there's teams and the teams don't recognize that it's not an either or thing. There's a lot of weirdness in this life. This life is weird as shit. You're telling me that marijuana should be illegal but you're okay with

people selling Oxycontins? Yeah. Oh, dude. You're okay with Vicodins? So much worse stuff is legal. You're okay with Ambien? Yeah. Ambien is crazy.

Like, you're going to get addicted to something that you need to sleep. Yeah. And if you don't take it, you can't sleep. And you'll go crazy. Oh, and by the way, you might wake up while you're on it and do stuff. Our government's fine with cigarettes. They kill half a million people a year but their problem with medicinal marijuana

or whatever, like, it's fucking insane. Well, that's the ultimate one, right? Cigarettes are the ultimate one. It's the ultimate thing that you never hear a politician talk about. When, find me one guy

running for president ever that has said he wants to take cigarettes out of the American people's hands. Has anyone ever done that? No. Imagine if terrorists

killed half a million people a year. People would be so bummed out. People would lose their shit. If you volunteered for the terrorist organizations and it killed them, they got roped into it. They didn't even know. They need to scare them. They got hypnotized and then addicted and they got brought into a terrorist organization and then they murdered them.

Wow, that's so sad. We have to stop this. Take out the word terrorist, put in the word cigarette, and that's what you have. They hypnotize you with people looking cool. You see cool people that are artists, man. They're smoking, man. It's amazing. Next thing you know, you're trying it. Next thing you know, you're

caught in some chemical web where your actual cells You're addicted. For real. You see people that need it. Dude, life's a bitch and people gotta medicate themselves against a difficult illness called life

in various ways. Yeah, and I think that the idea that anybody's gonna be able to tell you what you could do is stupid. Some people should take heroin. I know that's not a popular thing to say. Should. But I know some people have done some amazing music with heroin.

And I'm not saying that they absolutely had to do heroin to do that music. But they did. And the music's awesome. So it is what it is. You know? It's not for everybody. Yeah, you're dumb to do heroin. Yeah, it's crazy.

It kills you. But, you know, look what fucking, you know, look what Nirvana did. Look what Kurt Cobain did when he was on heroin. And then we use all these drugs as an excuse to imprison fucking half the country. We have 5% of the world's population, 25% of the world's prisoners. Well, that's the other thing. Privatize. Privatize prisons.

Private prisons and then prison guard unions that lobby to make sure that drugs are illegal. And you're like, wait a minute, what? Like they lobby to make sure that they have work. And make sentences harsher. Yeah. Make harsher sentences, yeah. They lobby to make sure that we have work. That's what they want to make sure of.

They want to make sure that we're out there arresting people so we have work. So we have plenty of people to keep in charge. And the people making money from the privatized prisons are lobbying for that, too. What the fuck? It's all Orwellian. I mean, you add that to the fucking robots in the sky and the wars over oil. I mean, it's some pretty incredible stuff that's going on right now. Crazy shit.

You know, freedom. All this freedom talk. Meanwhile, the NSA is just looking at all your dick pics. Yeah. Looking at every email you ever sent ever I want my guns but I don't I don't care if they're fucking looking at my dick pics I wonder what the fuck is gonna happen with this um Snowden thing they say that he also um has some sort of a um like a stash of really super crazy shit that he will release if anything ever happens to him. And they have like a code for it.

JFK is the code? You have to break into it. You have to break, like you have to, like there's a, you have to crack it. In the hearings in the UK, they said they've only released

1% of what he has. That's insane. How's that possible? It's crazy. How's that possible? I don't know. That's, how much more crazy shit is that? Imagine if we found out that we? It's crazy. How's that possible? I don't know. That's, how much more crazy shit is that?

Imagine if we found out that we're not even real. That's what he's got on a disc somewhere. We're in the Matrix. We're in the Matrix, plugged in. Make sure it's 100% real.

Did you see that new stuff about the simulation, about the hologram? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, I'll pull that up. It's bizarre. The problem with this,

the latest evidence that the universe is a hologram, the problem with all this stuff is that I don't understand it. Oh, I saw that headline. I don't understand it. No, I couldn't understand it either. I can understand it. I've tried.

It's like string theory stuff, isn't it? This is the cover of the Slate science page. Do we live in a 10-dimensional hologram? Okay, I'm just going to shut this off. You're freaking me out. The universe can seem bewildering at times. In the past century, we've learned an incredible amount about the cosmos. 13.8 billion year history.

Its structure, including the number and distribution of galaxies, which is really amazing when you stop and think that they figured that out. There's more galaxies, no no more stars than grains of sand yeah on beaches of the world Jesus Christ not only that there's a very distinct possibility

that the universe is fractal and infinite one of their ideas is that inside every galaxy is a black hole and inside that black hole is another universe

I'm not high enough for this conversation me neither let's get high it's not high enough it's not possible you can't get high enough because you do.

You just start talking nonsense. But it's a really incredible thing that they've done, right? Trying to study the smallest possible measured components of nature. As they've gotten deeper and deeper with this, they've shown that the world is kind of magic. It's not based on any of the laws of reality that we observe in everyday life like things aren't solid they're almost all air yeah you're not actually touching anything when you touch it it's it's the room uh the vibrations the force the charge against is pushing the electric force whatever is yeah we're gonna

butcher it but definitely hardcore go google that from people who know what they're doing, not comedians. When they talk about quantum theory and they talk about particles in superposition where they're moving and then still at the same time appear and disappear. Oh, yeah, and some of these particles, they're only there when you observe them.

If you don't observe them, they're not there. That's weird. And that's sort of, those are the beginning steps to this study of the possibility that the universe is a hologram. And also simulation theory, the possibility that what we are in right now is some indiscernible artificial reality that we've created in the future. And that we don't realize it because it's so good, it's just, it's perfect. But we got far enough to create something which we inevitably will that's indiscernible from regular reality and that's why it seems like some piece of fiction you know that's why you know anthony weiner showing pictures of his dick

like like really obvious shit things get weirder and weirder you know and when these things these weird things happen over and over and over again it It's almost like they're letting you know. This is a parody. We created this current present from the future. It's pretty shitty perfect. I mean, genital warts? Come on. Maybe no, but maybe yes. Because I think there's a yin and a yang to everything.

And if you could just all fuck everybody willy nilly with no rubber on and not worry about it, then it wouldn't be so pleasurable if you could just all fuck everybody willy-nilly with no rubber on and not worry about it, then it wouldn't be so pleasurable if you could fuck someone who didn't have herpes or genital warts. That's a Zen idea. If you experience some pain, then you appreciate it when it's not there. Well, I think there's

a yin and a yang to the world, just like everything else in the universe. I think there's a reason why we have evil, and it's so that we can appreciate good. I think there's a reason why we have bad relationships. it's so that we can appreciate good. I think there is a reason why we have bad relationships. We can appreciate good relationships. I really believe that. It sounds ridiculous, but I think the only people that ever learn are people that experience

both highs and lows, which is why lottery winners are almost always fucked, which is why people who are born rich are almost always fucked. Dude, have you seen the charts where people that become paraplegic and people that win the lottery, their happiness goes back to almost exactly, after a year, it goes back to almost exactly where they were. Wow. It's like you don't retain that immense joy or immense sadness tends to come back to the mean. It makes sense. We're adaptable.

I mean, we like to think that we are what we are right now. But what we are right now is what we are because of the circumstances we exist in if our circumstances existed like we were in the congo digging coltan out of the mountain with a stick that's that would be our reality you know like you look at like a friend of mine wrote a book about uh monozuma um graham hancock he wrote a book about uh monozuma and the the the the incredible shit the aztecs did. It's a novel. And we were talking about living in that time, like what it must have been like to live in this crazy, barbaric time of human sacrifice.

And that's all they knew. That's all they knew. Just like this is all we know. They're going to say the same thing about us in about 10 years. What was it like to live in that barbaric time? Tell me about Fox News. What was it like to live in that barbaric time? Tell me about Fox News. What the fuck was going on there? People were watching

vaginas on the news while drone bombs were killing grandmothers. See, women actually think that we're just joking around about that. Like, that's not really a big deal

to show your vagina like that on television. It's not rude. But it really does sway men's opinion. Oh, totally. Fucking really, really, really does.

I wouldn't be on there if I didn't. It's the weirdest thing ever. Like, if you see a girl and even if you have no shot at her whatsoever you even if you don't want to have sex with her you want her to like you if she's super hot and she's wearing some revealing crazy fox news type girl clothing it's hypnosis it's not fair for straight men it's not fair especially for a straight man, it's not fair. Especially for a dumb straight man. And that's why so many dumb people like Fox News.

Those fucking sirens. They pull you into the rocks. Yeah. That's exactly. Sirens into the rocks. I like that. I always think it's weird. I think we talked about this before. Fox News is so cool with certain things like Family Guy, like the cartoons. Well, that's not Fox News.

I know, but the company of Fox, it doesn't match the rest of the network. Because it's all, Brian, it's all about making money. Right. And the Fox News, the way to make money in the news is the really obsessed people, conservative people. The people that are like really into it and listening to like conservative talk radio. Conservative talk radio dominates liberal talk radio i mean i don't know what the real numbers were but i knew back in the day but when air america came on the idea behind air america was that we needed a some sort of a rebuttal to all the right-wing right-wing talk rush limbaugh michael savage type dudes that were everywhere

every time you turn on the radio you'd have angry white guys screaming about immigration and all this crazy nonsense. And I think that there's... That's undeniable. You know? People are... We're not looking at it for what it really is. Well, so you look at where talk radio's

biggest. It's the middle of the country that's all red and they're out on farms and they've got nothing to do but listen to talk radio. Yeah, and they're also easily led. And if you're really dumb, you're fearful. And that stuff plays towards fear. All that right-wing stuff, whether it's

Limbaugh or Michael Savage, they're all fear-mongering. They're playing towards fear, and that's how they make their money. So Fox News is just, that's a great bankable market. And then on top of that, if you're a guy like Rupert Murdoch, who's super conservative in the first place, you want to be able to influence culture,

you're not going to influence culture with a family guy. It's not going to matter whether or not your television shows that are just strictly entertainment-based or conservative or liberal, that doesn't matter. But what really does matter is these fucking news shows. The TV shows is just about making some money. What's the best way to make money? Have people dance with stars. And it's also about

repetition, like the fact that, you know, if the news says this thing over and over and over again, that's what has the effect. You know, family guy says one sentence, that's not... Yeah, it just becomes so. Yeah, they can do incredible things by just repeating things in the news over and over again. And then people say, I thought that this was going on.

You're like, no, that's not what's going on. God damn. But if you just listen to certain news shows, you're going to get that slant. If you listen to MSNBC, you're going to get that left-wing slant. If you listen to CNN, it used to be a left-wing slant. Well, with MSNBC, it's interesting because it is a kind of of left-wing slam but it's also very much obama apologist and so if you're more left than obama like i am then you're like you've fucking give him a pass on everything it's like you know nsa surveillance is not okay just because it's obama in office i wonder what it is man i wonder

if it's the bill hicks joke where you know into office and they put you into a room, a smoky room filled with industrialists. And they show you a footage of the JFK assassination from an angle no one's ever seen. And they go, any questions? I just want to know what my agenda is. I wonder what happens when you get in there because I've heard it argued. Well, here's what I would say about it is you don't get to the point that you could get in there unless you've been approved by the business community. I mean, Rick Rubin was behind Obama as a senator, maybe even before. Is he the producer for the Beastie Boys?

The same guy? Is that the guy? No? The guy with the beard? He was behind Obama even as a state senator. So you're deep in this politics thing. You start calling out names like Rick Rubin. That gets you brownie points, though, if you're at a party.

But he, you know, so the okay was already given for Obama as like he's with Wall Street, that kind of thing. Right. And whereas you see the people that don't get that okay, like a Jill Stein or even, youon paul uh had when he was up for the caucus they're changing numbers and shit and yeah and uh you know jill stein was uh tried to attend the presidential debate and was arrested and locked in a room chained to a chair during the entirety of the debate in new york and then released after it was over why what was the reason they said it was trespassing because she showed up to the debates without a ticket oh and she even she said she's about like four foot five she's like a 60 year old woman and she up to the debates without a ticket oh and she even she said she's

about like four foot five she's like a 60 year old woman and she said to the armed guard how about you to unchain us from the chairs we're not going to leave the room and he said no oh my god that's our democracy this is the third this is a green party presidential candidate well it was also really interesting watching people scramble when ron paul was uh doing debates and watching the way the pundits, the people on TV, would just dismiss him openly. And there was one time where I believe Ron Paul

was in third place and someone else was in fourth place, and they were concentrating on the fourth place person, and they ignored the fact that Ron Paul... Yeah, yeah. The list was on the screen, and they said one, two, and four.

It's like, what the fuck, man? It's so transparent. And then he's got his son now, and people are wondering, his son, is his son going to play ball? What's so transparent. And then he's got his son now, and people are wondering if his son is going to play ball. What's going to happen with Rand? Yeah. Is he going to chip off the old block?

Yeah. It's all so weird, man. I think that ultimately, though, with the trends that are happening right now, with alternative news sources on the internet and people getting to these places, the vice-type people that are showing you, like, what is really going on? This is really where your cell phones come from. This is really what kind of political uprising

is happening in Bahrain. This is really what's happening in Syria. This is the reason why the administration tried to get you to think that we need to take military action, and this is the reason why they ultimately backed down. Like, the more that stuff comes on, it's going to be so hard to fuck around. Yeah. It's going to be harder and harder... To control it. It's going to be so hard to fuck around. It's going to be harder and harder to control it.

It's going to be so hard to control. They're not going to be able to. It terrifies the fuck out of them, which is why they're trying to control the internet more. They tried to pass those bills that would shut down, make the internet less free, and they failed. It was called SOPA and PIPA, where the bill's in Congress. People flipped out.

Remember, Google did a thing on it and everything. And so, I mean, it's because information's getting out there, and it scares the shit out of them, and they're trying to make the internet chain down. Meanwhile, Google just bought Boston Dynamics. Did you see that? That is the scariest shit ever. Dude, Google is Skynet.

They just bought this crazy robot company. Yeah. They keep buying crazy shit. What else did they buy recently? What was the other nutty thing that Google bought? They bought Waze, which is pretty awesome. That's a program that's using a GPS that tells you real-time traffic because what it's

doing is it's sending out how slow you're going so people know, like, oh, that street's only going 30 miles per hour. But you're getting the most accurate GPS ever. So pretty much, Googlebot is something that will be able to track you. Well, it's already tracking you. That's a fact.

I mean, anytime anybody's got some sort of a thing when they're running from the cops and they have a phone on, they know exactly where you are. Yeah, but now it won't even have to be the phone on. The car will be sending out the signal, right? Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think they already are. I think, you know, when you have like that, those, what is that shit called?

Where you, what is it when you're in a GM car, when you press a button? OnStar. OnStar. I have that in my new car. It scares me. They find you. They know where you are.

Like you get in a car accident, OnStar goes, we're sending a police trip, right? I don't ever view myself as the type of guy that will need to go run and hide in a barn somewhere. But I would like to have that on the possibility, on the table. It's like I could go hide somewhere and you can't anymore. But one day when no one can hide, including bad people, will we be forced to reconcile? Will we be forced to alter our opinion or alter our behavior rather to a more evolved state because everyone's accountable for their own behavior. Well, the problem is that I think the largest bad people in terms of a structural society sense are not considered bad people. I mean, the fucking heads of the government and the

corporate assholes. But don't you think they're considered bad people more now than they ever were before? Yeah. Just when we're talking about the impact of Operation Wall Street or the Occupy Wall Street movement, is that one of the things it's done is start the conversation, open up the dialogue about the discrepancy of income, the discrepancy of wealth in this country,

and make it a topic of discussion in a way that's never really been fully explored before. It was just everybody knew there were rich people and poor people, but now it's kind of quantified. Yeah, six heirs of the Walmart fortune have the same amount of wealth as the bottom 40% of America. Jesus. 125 million people. Do they have friends?

Check this out. Recently, Google bought Computer Vision, Robot Arms. These are companies and what they specialize in. Robot Arms. Robots. Robot Wheels. Robotic Cameras. And then Robotics. But the last mergers that they bought, like the last eight, Robots, robot wheels, robotic cameras, and then robotics. But the last mergers that they bought, like the last eight, most of them are robot-based.

Isn't it ironic that their motto when they started was don't be evil? Yeah, look at Google's new robot. Watch Time Magazine from December 16th. It says watch Google's new robot run like hell. This is fucking crazy. It is a cheetah. I mean, it literally looks like a cheetah. Wait till you see... What does it plan to do with that thing? I don't know.

It's a good question. But wait till you see the thing run. It's insane. They have one version of it that I don't think is real at the beginning of it where it shows it. Pull it. It's got it. Just look for that. Yeah, but go to the very beginning of it. Go to the very beginning of it before you click the link

and you can see the idea of the cheetah, the actual robotic cheetah. I already showed it. What do you mean? There's an image when the thing first starts. Dude, if that thing wants to... Before you press play. If that thing wants to hump your leg, you're fucked. Look at this, Brian.

See that? Yes, look at that. What the fuck? Looks like a dead mouse video. Back it up a little so you can actually see the full image. That's insane. It's a robot fucking cat. I don't know if that's real, though.

That looks like an artist rendering or something. It actually has a metal cheetah head. But when you watch this thing run, they can get super fast. Like a person, like a really good sprinter, I think they max out in like the 30s or 40s. Like 30 miles an hour is like, you know, maybe the fastest guys

in the world can get into the 40s. But these fucking things, these things can run like cars. What are they gonna do with that? They're gonna chase bad people. They're gonna make sure that the streets are safe. These are our robot super friends. Look at this thing. Can you imagine if you're sitting there on the

street, ready to cross, and you look left and you look right and you see this fucking thing running down the street going 25 miles an hour? Joe, we need to invest in a magnet company ASAP, Rocky. A magnet company? Yeah, to get away from these things. If we had a shitload of magnets.

Magnetic pulse. Yeah, just like throwing magnets everywhere to get out of here. I think they probably thought that through. Maybe not. They're probably using magnesium. Maybe because it's lighter, stronger. Whoa, what is that? Whoa, that's how it stops.

28 miles an hour. Actually, a person can outrun that. But how long? I can't outrun it. But like a really fast person can. Can that. But how long? I can't outrun it. But a really fast person can. Can you ride it? I'll take its back and choke it. Yeah, Google owns that now.

Hi. And it pisses battery acid. So sweet. I love Android. Android's great. Yeah. It's just weird. What are you going to do with that?

Don't you guys make phones? Why are you making robot murderers? We're going to be that thing slave in 10 more years. We're going to be that thing in 20 more years. We're going to download your fucking brain to that, and you're going to run to school on the highway remotely. You're going to be at home, and your bed was going to be like a shallow kiddie pool with wires,

like that Minority Report movie. A kiddie pool with wires. It's Minority Report movie. A kiddie pool with wires. Connected. Just put on your floaties. Yeah, you're going to be connected in this pool with dimmed lighting with these electrodes in your head, and your consciousness is going to be inside that cheetah robot just booking down a 405.

And the cheetah robots will have meetings whether they want to keep the humans around any longer. Eventually. I think we're done with them. Yeah, once somebody gets dumb enough to actually make one of them conscious themselves, the beginning is going to be just human consciousness downloaded into a robot.

But then some dummy is going to decide, well, I want to make my own people. And then it's fucked. And we're fucked. Isn't it funny that we saw The Terminator and all those movies. We're like, that's so stupid. That's never going to happen.

Of course it's going to happen. And it didn't stop us. It's absolutely going to happen. If you keep going, to happen. And it didn't stop us. It's absolutely going to happen. If you keep going, what's going to stop it from happening? How about that? Yeah, yeah. You tell me, if people keep going from here, from 2013, with the access to technology we have now,

how are you going to stop 100 years from now there being artificial people? You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. There's no way. There's no way.

They're going to have that figured out. In 100 years? I mean, we might not see it, but our grandchildren will probably see it. And we're going to look like idiot chimpanzees. If artificial intelligence has access to all the information ever, we're going to look like just fucking morons. They'll be like, these things are dangerous. You know, they made nuclear power when they didn't know how to shut the plants off.

They just built them. They just started doing it. They're reckless. They have enough bombs to blow up everything on the planet ten times over and they keep making bombs. They're crazy. Now they have bombs and robots that fly from the sky. No, they don't.

They do. To make the universe safe, we've got to get rid of them. Freedom ain't free, son. Freedom ain't free. Actually, I had a guy say that to me in all earnest recently. Freedom isn't free. He had it. Okay, it

is, by nature. Yes, that's exactly what it is. Freedom, it's free. It should be free. Just because there's oppression, it doesn't mean that freedom isn't still a free thing. Freedom is just, you know, god damn. We got to go get the baddies, Lee Camp.

We do. Are there any baddies out there? Have we created all the baddies? What do you think? Do you think it's 50% baddies that we've created and 50% baddies that are actually real that we have to go after? Or do you think it's like 100% bullshit? At this point. You know, the history of us propping up military dictatorships

and then going in and invading them. Yeah, when they're not our friends anymore. We used to like you, but now. Hilarious. Another great Bill Hicks bit. Yeah, it's just like it's so weird that all this stuff is a fact all this stuff exists you read things like economic hitman you find out how we really do run economic conventions of economic event it's a brilliant book the real

the real control of resources all around the world like how how we get away with it and you notice in one of my uh videos recently uh i did it on how basically they found out that what they did in Conventions of Economic Agreement worked well. You enslave countries with debt. And now they've done it to the American people with student loans and mortgages and shit. So they've enslaved the American people with debt. Well, you say that, but I say they gave them the opportunity for a nice car, Lee Camp. There's something about going to a job in a nice new car. And if you just put $100 down, $1,500...

People aren't that smart. A lot of them. You say that, Lee Camp. But I think that a Lexus can make you feel better. I don't think I was arguing it can't. I think that having that loan is probably a smile. The student loans, people think they can pay them off, and then they can't for 50 years.

That's another thing. It's like I believe that education should be available and free to all of our people. I think it should be one of those things that we encourage. We need more smart people. More smart people, more educated people equals less losers. That's a better society. We would be better off. That's a better society.

We would be better off. But, god damn, the idea that you go to school and it costs you, what, a quarter million dollars by the time you're out? And you're fucked. You're making $50,000 a year. And you made that decision at 18. And then you're 24 realizing you don't want to be a lawyer anymore. And you're fucked. You're fucked. And it's a shitty feeling, too.

Like, you're trapped. You're sucked into the web of the system. I mean, I have friends that have student loans that are just mind-boggling. You talk to them about it. You're like, how are you going to pay it off? Like, I'm never going to pay it off. Like, you really know you're never going to pay it off. Like, you?

You have them? No, I said, thank God I paid as I went. Ugh. It's so crazy. Some people, especially if you do, like, medical school or something crazy or law school where it's very expensive. Yeah. The number, the actual number you're you're in the hole for before you even get started in the game of life and now there's all these fraud

schools that trick people into thinking they're going to get some great degree it's got to be a better way than that it's got to be a way to have education free it seems like the most important thing education health care internet police yeah the internet pretty much the newest education if you could focus and make sure you like just sit there and try to learn different techniques on YouTube and not Beyonce. And that's just now. I think the real internet, I was listening to this podcast. I forget the name. I think it's Radiolab or Intel Radiolab or something like that.

And they were talking about human neural interfaces and that the ultimate goal is what they're working on right now is we have already the ability to take a phone and ask a question to the phone, speak right into it, and give you an answer in a couple of seconds. Yeah. But they're going to have within a decade, two decades, there's going to be one less step. Yeah. You're just going to have that information. You just think it. Yeah. You're going to get it. Yep. And it's going to be one less step. You're just going to have that information. You just think it.

Yeah, and you're going to get it. And it's going to be there. And, you know, it might actually even come in a form of knowledge. It won't be a written word that you have to read. It'll come in a form where they'll be able to break down what are parcels of knowledge and information. Because they've already figured out that they can plant information. They can plant information in the brain. They can plant false memories.

So if they can plant false memories, at least in theory. Yeah, that's another scary thing. Once you take those memories, you have control of everything. Or you go to a place like that fucking... What was that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie? Total Recall? Total Recall. They hook you up with some machine, and you just live like a baller.

That's the Matrix, right? Yeah, Matrix, yeah. That's the real hologram. But, like, they have those, they've been, the Pentagon has spent millions and millions on pills that help erase memories for soldiers and things.

Well, they've also tried a lot of shit that didn't work, like LSD. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, LSD, initially, the idea was that it would be a truth serum, that they would capture the enemy, give them LSD, and they would be forced to tell the truth.

Right. Not so much. Especially, they didn't even understand the dosage back then. It was a fun serum. They were giving people Evian bottles of acid. Oh, my God. Drink this and tell us the truth. And they would just lose their fucking marbles.

And then they said, okay, okay, okay, this doesn't work for that. But maybe it'll work for this. There's probably like one guy who really loved acid, and he wanted to just continue the research. They said, how about we do this? When our guys get captured they'll take acid that way they won't be able to divulge any secrets so that was they start doing that those are the two options and then somewhere around in the late 1960s they realized they had a problem because acid really permeated the entire culture and started changing the way people were thinking right opening minds

so many people the tim Timothy Leary fans, were tuning in and dropping out. People were getting to a point where there was ways to think. You could be a Republican, you could be a Democrat, you could be a humanitarian, or you could be a psychedelic adventurer. All of a sudden, that's an option, too. And then people were diving into that,

and they were like, well, these people have really good arguments, and they obviously are impossible to mindfuck. And all of a sudden they're against the Vietnam War. They're against everything. Yeah, like the weather underground. They wanted to have orgies and fuck and blow up the government. You get a lot of weirdness

when you start throwing acid into the mix. So around 1970, they were like, alright, let's just make all this shit illegal. It's hard to believe that up until 1970, everything was legal. Marijuana was illegal since the 1930s, but besides marijuana, like mushrooms, peyote. Yeah, mushrooms, yeah.

Cocaine, all that shit was legal until 1970. That's weird, huh? Maybe not cocaine. I know definitely psychedelics. That's what they're going to say about like salvia, cigarettes, alcohol in like 20 years from now. Yeah, 10 years. Well, they've already done it with salvia in a lot of places,

but I don't think they're going to say it with cigarettes. Thank God they make a lot of money from alcohol because they're not getting rid of that as long as they make money. Yeah, we need something. We can't do that. We're going to be reprogrammed to be drunk. Like, I want to be drunk right now, dink, and then, you know, like, it's going to fuck with your brain,

so your brain thinks you're drunk. It's going to be like an on-off switch, and that's when they're going to start programming. What I think they're going to do is have a Jack Daniels patch. You just slap it on your stomach, and you don't have to drink. You don't get shitty breath. You just put a patch on your stomach. That's so much less cool at bars, though.

It's totally not cool. Just put it on your stomach. Just a little bit. So I'm trying to find out what the actual drugs were. Hey, baby, you want to hang out and put patches on? Do you see that Kanye West remake video that Seth Rogen did and that other guy he's friends with? No, I heard it was really funny, though. Yeah, cocaine was one.

Cocaine was illegal until 1970. You mean legal? Legal, rather, until 1970. Oh, yeah, Freud was picking up. Morphine was legal. Codeine was legal. Yeah. Remember how you used to be able to get codeine with NyQuil? Right. Oh, yeah, Freud was picking a cocaine. Morphine was legal. Codeine was legal. Yeah. Remember how you used to be able to get codeine with NyQuil?

Right. Oh, my God. I was sick once, and I took some NyQuil, and I've never felt better in my whole life. It was beautiful. It was like a total psychedelic experience. I don't know if I took too much or what, but I remember. What year was that?

You were a robo-tripper. 97, maybe, 98, somewhere in the 90s when it was still available. I know a dude, a stand-up comedian that's addicted to this stuff, You were a robo-tripper. hotel room and get fucked up. The dude was just a straight up NyQuil junkie. I'd never heard anything like that. I was working at Rascals in New Jersey and they were telling me the story about this dude. I'm like, how many bottles? He'll go through three or four bottles a night of NyQuil. We used to do that and then NoDoze if we wanted a high.

We'd get bottles of NoDoze and just take 10 of them. No, no, no. If we wanted either a high or a low, No-Dos or RoboTrip. Confuse the fuck out of your brain, son. Yeah, you can't be mixing it up. That's a speedball for retards. Take both of them. But codeine was delicious.

It was so good, how it made you feel. I was melting into my bed. I was so happy. I felt so warm and comfortable. I was sick as shit and was this back before you're doing anything drugs yeah yeah you were just on you were just on cody nyquil well i just did it once i mean i literally only took this stuff once is that john mayer no it's uh uh james franco james franco and kanye west are doing a music video together

no no no the one on the left is the real one. The one on the right is a parody. Yeah. Because it's such a ridiculous video that Kanye is pretty much having sex with Kim Kardashian on his motorcycle. So they did a shot-by-shot remake of it with Seth Rogen as Kardashian. It's so bad, though.

The lyrics are so bad. Yeah, they really are. It's just such dumb nonsense, overinflated ego nonsense. Did you see him on, they brought him back on South Park. The last one was the gay fish one, and they brought him back this time for The Hobbit. Yeah, as Kardashian's The Hobbit. And she's like, my wife is not a hobbit. Am I crazy

or did Kanye West used to be a rational human being? No. He just wasn't famous enough for him to really bloom. Shut this terrible piece of shit up. It's pretty funny because they start making out.

It's not good enough just to have it next to it. It's not good enough to... Stop it. Shut it off. I don't want... Nonsense.

I get it. That guy's just so bad. I don't get it. Someone tried to explain to me the other day oh that's another thing that's really cute um liberals really left-wing people have taken to defending kanye saying that he's a genius the white guilt comes out in full blast yes i've read uh actually i've read well they they loved him for that moment uh where he said bush hates black people after katrina well if you want some street cred, you talk about how Kanye West is a genius. He's a misunderstood genius.

And like all geniuses, he's volatile. What do you mean misunderstood genius? How many records does he sell? He's an understood genius, apparently. Yeah. Well, misunderstood in the fact that he's criticized. The reason why he says such brash things is because he's a genius. And geniuses are unhinged. But the problem is the music's terrible. So that why he says such brash things is because he's a genius and geniuses are unhinged.

But the problem is the music's terrible so that evidence doesn't hold up. Why does it sell so much? The same reason why the recent Gallup poll said that 46% of the people

thought the earth is less than 10,000 years old. Okay? We're overwhelmed by retards. We're swimming in them. And whatever shit is put on the radio the most will sell the most.

So whatever record company he's with, gets him to put it on the radio every 10 seconds. Not only that, now that he's locked up with Kim Kardashian, he's involved in this fucking weird sort of a reality show. Yeah, it's like a meta reality. Yeah, it's this weird meme, this internet thing where everybody's talking about it and it constantly keeps up. I mean, that baby is born an actor. Like, that is a

role. That is a role that baby's playing. Yeah. Oh, that poor kid. Ugh. Just grow up like that in front of the camera, completely confused. Why are the cameras, mommy? I went to Bobby's house. There's no cameras. Shut up. Mommy has to get a tit fixed. And what's it named? Like,

Siberia's Lord of the Jungle. What's that? Something, something. I'm just wondering what they named it. Oh, Northwest. Of course. You know, poor kid. What are you going to do?

Hopefully they'll wake up. Hopefully somebody will give Kanye West some mushrooms. And they'll go, oh my God, what am I doing? What have I been doing? Who am I? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wait, Beyonce's new album's hot. Who gives a fuck, dude? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Ugh.

But Beyonce's new album's hot. Who gives a fuck, dude? I don't care. It's all this nonsense pop music talk. Have you heard the new Beyonce? No. No, I'm not going to. It's shit. It's pretty much like Eat My Cherry.

I don't want to hear it. It's a song about squirting. I find it dumb nonsense. What? Yeah, it's called Rocket Ship or something. Please. It's hot. And they all have videos.

It's not hot. It's dumb. It's dumb music. Why do you think that's dumb? Because I don't like that music. Dude, I listen to it. I think it's hot. It's not hot. It's dumb. It's dumb music. Why do you think that's dumb? Because I don't like that music. Dude, I listen to it. I think it's shitty. You like shitty music?

Like what kind of shitty music do I like? What was that one pop band that you like? One Direction? Not One Direction, but it was something. It's all music. It's all shit. What are you talking about, Brian? There was something recently that you said that you really liked.

I can't remember what it was, but it was some kind of... Well, you got to remember it if you're going to bring it up in a conversation. Well, I failed at that, but I'll try to remember it. I don't want to... No, most of pop music is so vapid. It's so incredibly vapid.

I mean, I just did a show with a great band called Rooftop Revolutionaries because they say something, and God forbid a band should say something. Well, you know the problem with people saying something. If I already know what they're saying, I get it. You know, band should say something. Well, you know the problem with people saying something? If I already know what they're saying.

Miley Cyrus. I get it. You're saying something. I already know it. Why did you say Miley Cyrus? Because you were talking about how much you like Miley Cyrus. No, I said she's got a great voice. When she was singing that Dolly Parton song, Jolie.

So you think Miley's better than Beyonce? As far as the way she sings? Yeah. In that song? Absolutely. What are you okay in? No, that's interesting. Why is it interesting?

I never thought that Beyonce would, I never thought Miley would be better than Beyonce. I like Miley, but I don't think she's better than Beyonce. Well, that terrible dog shit song that she said at the American Music Awards or Video Awards or whatever it was where it got all the controversy.

Yeah, that was terrible. But that one video that she did where she did a Dolly Parton thing, she's got a fucking hell of a voice, man. You know,yonce does too but i don't like that music you know the new you should check out the new one it sounds like i'm not going to but thanks what's that girl that uh life is short joey diaz likes uh diana ross or the one sexy girl from the 70s it sounds like that kind of music now like she's very sexy very 70s kind of it's a cool cool album. I think you would like it, man.

Diana Ross. Is that it? Okay. Did you see this thing about FDR? It's been going on the internet lately that FDR grew up in a dress. Yeah. How weird is that? Really?

Yeah. Apparently it was normal back then for kids to what? What are you saying? Yeah, same. I was just agreeing with you. It was normal for people to wear dresses. Like for people to have their children. Like really rich people?

Just fucking their children. They would have their sons in dresses. Like they weren't so rigid about their gender roles back then. Yeah, it was actually cute back then. These are photos of FDR in a dress. No. Yeah. I mean, Google debunked.

Okay. FDR in a dress debunked because maybe it was a joke. And we're being trolled. Well, I know back then it used to be cute. It didn't matter if it was a boy or a girl. You dressed them up in a dress because it was cute because they were babies. I don't know about that, man. No, no.

You can't debunk it. FDR drove in a dress. Wow. This is the article that I tweeted from The Atlantic. It said it wasn't always blue for boys and pink for girls. It's fucking really strange. You don't think about it, but that was not that long ago. And people apparently on a regular basis dress their kids up,

dress their boys up like girls, and nobody thought anything of it. The New Deal's mastermind unexpected childhood look is a reminder that our cultural norms about gender-specific clothing for children are surprisingly recent historical development. Huh. It's kind of weird, you know? It is weird that we decide, like, the ladies on Fox News are allowed to wear these skirts and allowed to have these legs exposed but men are not we have to wear our silly clothes but if we were in Africa you know we're Maasai warriors we would have to dress differently you know yeah we just accept the societal paradigm yeah we accept some weird shit why can't FDR be in a dress Brian I think it's cute it does does. It looks very cute. I was trying to find more pictures of it because actually I think my mom told me that a long time ago, and I didn't believe her.

And then I found out that there's like a lot of old pictures and paintings of boys in dresses, and I started collecting them. How do you know that's a boy, though? Could just be a really shitty drawing of a girl. Oh, no, no. I was just looking at this one. Oh. Boys in dresses. Are you looking at your phone, dude? We could check it out if that's what you're doing.

No, I was looking at tweets about the show. You can't do that. You can't do it while it's happening. They'll suck you in. Oh, really? And you'll never escape. Okay. I didn't know that rule.

And then they'll ask you questions, and then you respond to them. You guys all got your computers, I feel, left out. Well, it's just because we're giving you a shot to talk about okay that's how we got because there's certain things that are going on the news that i thought were fascinating that i knew i was going to bring up so i had to uh um one of the things that i wanted to talk about was um the the fda is actually saying now that antibacterial soaps may not curb bacteria they're also saying that like washing your hands in hot water doesn't do a goddamn thing. And that it's soap that kills bacteria.

And that antibacterial soap is actually bad for you. But the Purell shit does kill all the bacteria. That's not antibacterial soap. That's just poison. Right. But it's also making it so that we don't have any defense mechanisms anymore. Well, it is on your hands. If you're one of those Howie Mandel type dudes, it squirts that shit in your hand every day.

Some people do that. They get obsessed with it. Hey, maybe we should shut that heater off, man, because it's about 150,000 fucking degrees in here. It is hot. It's great. Soon we'll have real heat. But what they're saying is that we're using it way too much and that people that are doing that,

they're killing their natural skin flora and that it's not preventing us from getting sick. We're going to run into some antibiotic-resistant strain of something soon that's going to fucking tear us up because apparently it's caused by factory farms. They pump those animals full of shit so they can live like on top of each other and something vicious is gonna come up soon most likely right if we keep fucking around with the ecosystem it bounces back like all these dead bees man yeah that's a weird thing man that the amount of well that's that's probably the GMO crops. Well, they think that.

They think that has something to do. There was actually an article from my Twitter feed the other day from SeattleOrganicRestaurants.com. It was talking about the pesticides manufactured by Bayer and Syngenta, 94% of GMO corn in the U.S. is treated with either, well, listen to this word, imodacloprid or clothianidin. Oh, I love that stuff on my pasta. That sounds good for your corn. It makes your corn taste yummy. This guy did this thing where he put a square box and he counted all the biodiversity inside of it for like 24 hours in different parts of the world.

And there's tons, you know, 24 hours. You find all kinds of insects and all kinds of shit, flowers and everything. You put it in a cornfield in Iowa or whatever, and like over 24 hours you found like three insects or something because it kills everything. Wow. Yeah, that's the way you can grow that corn and nobody eats it. Yeah. You got to just jack it full of all kinds of wacky stuff. Yeah. They say that also cell phone signals are messing around with bugs.

Jacket full of all kinds of wacky stuff. They say that also cell phone signals are messing around with bugs. Bees communicate with some sort of a frequency that gets interfered with by cell phones. They can pick up on that. So when they're flying around, they hear the transmissions. They feel them. So now bees are listening to our phone calls too? NSA bees, bro.

God damn it. So bees looking at cockpits calls too? NSA bees, bro. God damn it. It's all bees looking at cockpits. Bees affected by cell phones. Do bees have an eye on top of their head also? Well, they have those multiple facet eyes. It's a lot of eyes, right? Yeah, they have eyes that are like, pull up a bee eye because they're pretty trippy when you see them in real life.

Yeah, there's a, that was a concern a few years ago. They were starting to try to figure out what was causing the bees to drop off. And they thought it was killing them, but they say they're not killing them. They're pretty sure that cell phones aren't killing bees, but they're definitely disturbing them,

and they're definitely fucking with their ability to communicate. And people don't realize that when the bees are gone, we're in a lot of trouble. Yeah, have you seen those crazy little artificial bees that Monsanto's created? I heard about them. I didn't see any. It's just as weird as the drone thing. Really? The little tiny drones. They're drone bees. The idea is create something that can do the work of a bee.

Yeah, because apparently they'll rent beehives and someone will bring got to, like, someone will bring it out to, like, pollinate your shit. Look at that dragonfly eyes. See, these are probably drones from the future, and this whole time, these are, like, just little drones recording us. In our hologram. Pull up a bee eye. Yeah. Let's see what a bee eye looks like.

This is our hologram world. Yeah, they're so fucking strange. I mean, we're just looking at them as if they're normal because we see them every day and they're a part of our life, but if we didn't know about bees, if they didn't exist, then all of a sudden there was bees everywhere. We'd be like, what the fuck are those things?

It's weird little things that can sting you and fuck you up. And if you're one of those poor people that's allergic to bee stings, that must be terrifying. You go into a field and everywhere you go you could die. You can get stung by some cunty little bug that literally shuts your heart down. There's something beautifully ironic about the fact

that a lot of us can't survive in a field anymore. It's true. Can't eat peanut butter. Can't survive in a field. Can't smoke weed. That looks cool. Wow, that's so strange. See, that looks like technology, doesn't it? Doesn't it look like?

Well, it also looks like it's fractal. You know, like all those pine cones and, you know, when you see sunflower seeds, like a sunflower with the seeds inside of it, it all looks fractal. They all look like, you know, like it's all like a geometric pattern. A million years of evolution. So weird. So weird. So weird that they developed eyes like that. We developed eyes like this.

And then there's also shit that developed eyes like us, but completely outside of us, like mollusks, like octopus. Their eyes are very similar. Squids and octopus, their eyes are very similar. Squids are incredibly smart, too. Allegedly. They can hide in shells and use tools and too. Allegedly. They can, like, hide in shells and things, use tools and shit. Too bad.

They're delicious. They can also climb out of a fish tank, walk across the floor, climb into another fish tank, eat the fish, then climb back to the other fish tank. What? Yeah. It was a famous story about a guy who had these expensive fish, these exotic fish in the aquarium, and one aquarium had octopus in it

and one aquarium had these really expensive fish and the fish would come up missing. And the guy was like, what the fuck is going on? Like, someone's stealing my fish. So he set up a security camera. It's like trying to figure out if someone snuck into his house and stole his expensive fish because it kept happening. So then he watched this octopus lift up the lid of its

aquarium, climb down the glass. I guess they can hold their breath for a long time. Walk across the ground, walk over to the other one, climb inside of it, jack the fish, eat it, and go back. Tell me it was wearing a top hat. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. On the category of weird

animal shit, you should look up the chicken that lived for a year and a half without its head. Oh, I did see that. Have you seen that? Yeah, they chopped his head off. Chopped his head off. A piece of it. Just the brain stem. So he was completely headless a year and a half.

And he took it to a university because everyone thought it was a hoax. How'd they eat? How'd they feed it? They had to drip shit into its neck. These mountain goats are insane.

Yeah, look at these. They're in Italy. They're like climbing super high up. They're just climbing sideways off the side of the dam. Yeah, mountain goats, they have actually these really rough but flexible toes, so they grab a hold of rocks.

Look at that. They can walk on shit easily that we could never walk on. That's awesome. Yeah. Spider goat. Nature, you crazy motherfucker, you. Nature's weird. It has a lot of options.

It figures out a way which is one of the more reprehensible things about our denial that these dolphins and orcas are intelligent beings just because they're different than us

and that's why we get away with that kind of slavery yeah so we just yeah different what led you to become to go from being like this

besides that one Fox News appearance but to go from being like this besides that one fox news appearance but to go from being this guy who's like got an act and you know he's fairly digestible and then you go you know what i i gotta say something all right this is we're dealing with i'm not satisfied with this anymore like what yeah what i i mean i think it started with the iraq invasion yeah uh that kind of started to wake me up, and then it just kept increasing, and I woke up more and more and, you know, reading a lot of great books, Chomsky and Hedges and shit.

And, yeah, it infuriated me to the point where I was like, I got to talk about this shit on stage. I don't know. It was a lot of anger. How many years in were you doing comedy before you started doing that? I mean, it had probably been like six or seven years, but not all of those were full-time. So probably only like three full-time.

But now it's been a bunch of years. Where did you start out? Did you start out in New York? No, I started out in Richmond, Virginia, University of Virginia. And then right after college, moved to New York City. So you started doing stand-up in Richmond? Yeah, I opened mics. And at UVA, I would open for whatever fucking acts came through.

Daryl Hammond and Jimmy Fallon and stuff. Wow. Was that terrifying? You probably weren't doing that many sets, right? Yeah. Well, it was terrifying also because I was not a performer. I had never been on a stage in my life until I decided to do stand-up. Yeah.

Wow. That's wild. So you do that for six or seven years, and then the Iraq War comes around, and you decide to do the kind of act you're doing now, where it's all like social commentary. Yeah, it was a slow process because I feel like, I mean, you know, you talk about that shit, and you know this well like you talk about that shit and you're going to alienate some of the crowd so figuring out how to how to make them

happy enough that they're not that you don't lose the crowd is it you know it was a slow slow learning experience and and it kind of moved over more and more and more until now it's you know probably 90 about about world issues and shit yeah world issues man god damn you especially if you're a woman if you're a woman and you're trying to uh have a political opinion on stage good luck yeah there's so many shithead men that don't want to listen to a woman that has a different opinion no doubt no doubt because as it like there's a subconscious thing that goes on where the audience does like kind of doesn't want to lower themselves by allowing the comedian to be funny and so especially with a woman you got dudes in the audience watching a woman.

They don't really want her to be funny because it's kind of lowering yourself. And so the way that that's easiest to achieve is I'm a slut or whatever. And then the men in the audience are like, oh, okay, she's a slut. Yeah, that's like the best way. If you don't go with the I'm a slut, you better be hideous looking. Yeah, that's like the best way. If you don't go with the I'm a slut, you better be hideous looking. You know, you better be just some giant fucking frying pan faced, non-sexual.

You know, I mean, to be like a really attractive woman and be a stand-up comedian, boy, a lot of, well, I shouldn't generalize because there's people that break every mold. Yeah. But it's a hard road. It's just hard, yeah. That's a hard fucking road. Certainly be done. It's Just difficult. I always said there's like three Three categories that your stand-up goes through like in the beginning you're terrified to go on stage

It's just they're tools you're just trying to get laughs Yeah The beginning you might not like the joke at all But you think it works so you do it because you're just trying to get a laugh and then Once you get a little bit comfortable then you start doing shit that you think is funny shit that you actually would laugh at like you laugh at your own jokes like this is actually pretty funny and then you realize like what your own actual sense of humor is and you figure out a way to express that then and then some people never make this third step they don't have to like the greats like Hedberg Stephen Wright they never made this third step and they're still amongst the very best ever. So it's not a mandatory step,

but for a lot of people, they get to the position that you were in, and they decide, I want to make my opinions funny. I want to figure out a way to make the ideas that I think, these ideas that are representative of how fucking silly we are as a society, turn them into not just funny but something that makes you uh eye-opening funny like you go back to work and you express it and then everybody laughs they go he's fucking right ha that's funny you know yeah i think that third step also takes a full-on confidence in what you're doing because you're going to alienate some people and you got

to be like fuck them i'm doing this anyway yeah for sure especially if they don't know who you are right yeah yeah once you got a ton of celebrity behind you i think it changes a little bit but do you find that because of your youtube videos you're very popular youtube channel has that made the biggest difference for you that's like been your sort of blog right yeah that's been the main thing that's made a difference uh moment of clarity it's called and and uh started doing that three years ago, 280 episodes in now. And it's nice because that's international. It's like I can go tour the UK, and I'm not saying I can get billions of people to come out, but there's fans everywhere, which is really cool.

The most incredible thing about the internet is something like this podcast. I would have never done this if the internet didn't exist. And aren't you still amazed when you get the fan from Romania or whatever? I'm amazed at all of it. I'm amazed at anybody who's listening to this fucking thing. The whole idea of a podcast is incredible,

that you need this little equipment, and then boom, it's out there to millions of people. I do a podcast too, but the main thing is the Moment of Clarity videos. What's the difference between your podcast

and Moment of Clarity? Why is, do you put more effort into the Moment of Clarity things? I put more effort into the videos, and they're also short, the three to five minutes, whereas the podcast, I'll talk about issues for a half hour. Do you do a solo podcast with just you talking? It's often solo, although I will do interviews occasionally, but a lot of times solo.

I always say I'm going to do a solo podcast, but I haven't done one since the beginning. In the beginning, I used to do solo ones. I used to just have ideas, but it's too much work. Also, you've got to carry the whole thing. It's tough to carry the whole thing. Burr does it amazing. He's one of the few people that can actually pull it off. Bill Burr.

Oh, yeah, Bill Burr's great. Bill's perfect for that. Bill's not the type of guy that likes to talk over people, but Bill is the type of guy that has a lot of shit to say about a lot of shit that maybe you wouldn like bill's not the type of guy that likes to talk over people but bill is the type of guy that has a lot of shit to say about a lot of shit that maybe you wouldn't give a fuck about but bill get angry about something like no no no no because what they're trying he'll go on these like really long rants so it's almost like for him it's perfect because for a lot of people they wouldn't have that like his sense of humor is so aggressive. Boston, you're not fucking me over.

I see what you're doing. One of his bits that I love the most is he does this bit about all these movies where there's a black team and the black team faces all these odds and all these racists and the white people are trying to keep down the black team. How long are we going to fucking continue to make this movie? There was one about synchronized swimming or something. He's like, they're running out of sports. They can't swim.

It's such a good bit. It's such a funny bit. But it's one of those things where it's such a Bill Burr bit. And it's such a Boston bit, too. It's like his style is one of my favorite styles, that Boston aggressive style of comedy yeah yeah his uh it's just great yeah and he so that style of ranting about shit lends itself perfectly to podcasts yeah yeah it's it's i mean that's the nice thing about what i do is it's a very

ranty style and so uh it fits well on podcasts and it fits well in those videos but uh you know it doesn't fit well on late night shows fuck those things though those are gross man you don't need those anymore i know i know i really don't think people need those anymore i mean i'm not joking around i think they're nonsense i think those are just like silent movies like they're why why are you doing that why are you doing it like that that That's dumb. You know, who would go to see a new silent movie? Right, right. I saw The Hobbit last night.

It was fucking awesome. Yeah. It was in 3D. The dragon's incredible. You see the one before it? Yes. And did you like that one? No.

No, that one I felt like was a bunch of shit happening that was setting this one up. Dude, the dragon is worth the price of admission. I saw the trailer. It was so awesome. The trailer looked pretty damn good. Oh, the dragon's the star of of admission. I saw the trailer. It's so awesome.

The trailer looked pretty damn good. The dragon's the star of the fucking movie. I hope they don't kill him in the next one. Was he in most of it or just the very end? You gotta get to halfway into the movie before the dragon comes out. But there's no bad parts of the movie. The movie is fun. It's fun from the beginning to the end. It's way better than the last one. The last one to me

was kind of flat, but I think it was just there was so much to set up. But this one, it's just fucking wicked, dude. So wicked. The dragon is so good. He talks. I am fire.

It's so cool. Who does the voice? The dude who was Khan on Star Trek. Really? Yeah. Not Ricardo Montalban, the original Khan, unfortunately. Rest his soul. I don't think he's with Maltaban, the original Khan, unfortunately.

Rest his soul. I don't think he's with us anymore. But the other Khan, a friend of mine just died, an MMA guy, Joe Camacho, 41 years old. I can't believe it. People are dying young. Some. What's also weird is he was in such good health, and he made it to the hospital, it sounded like. It sounded like, if you read the report, that the wife said she woke up, he was screaming.

And they called the ambulance. The ambulance came. And then he was announced dead at the hospital. It seems like with heart attacks, you always think, oh, you could revive him, you know, especially a healthy guy. Yeah, I don't get it. He just fought a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. And he's fighting still.

He's 41 years old. He ran a martial arts academy. The guy's in tremendous shape. What the hell? I don't know, man. That's crazy. He was 41 years old. He ran a martial arts academy. The guy's in tremendous shape. What the hell? I don't know, man. That's crazy. Maybe the government, man. Government just want to teach people how to kick ass when they take over.

It's those bees. It's fucking bees. It's antibacterial soap. There's a fucking article right here in the front of CNN about vitamins being a waste of money. Editorial and medical journal says yes. I've heard things that a lot of vitamins they haven't proven they do much taken in that form taking in like pill form mmm it says the vitamins industry is based on anecdote people

saying I like this and it makes me feel better said dr. Edgar Miller professor medicine epidemiologist Johns Hopkins you know what the problem is a lot of these guys that are saying this they're trying to get attention for their work and they're taking these controversial stances, because measuring someone's health and measuring whether or not they would be healthy or not be healthy based on whether or not they're taking vitamins

is very tricky. But we know for a fact that vitamins cure a lot of shit. Scurvy, take vitamin C, scurvy goes away. We know for a fact that supplementing vitamins has a positive effect on the human body. And apparently there's a lot of good tests for vitamin D. It's all science. I mean, the reason why we can break these molecules

down to individual components like vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin D, is because of fucking science, because they realize there's an effect that each one has that's variable. They're different. They're different from each other. The idea that supplements don't do you any good. I bet this guy's out of shape, but he doesn't exercise, but he doesn't know his body. It's nonsense. Vitamins for sure fucking help you. It says

vitamins didn't prevent mortality in any way. In addition, well, how can you tell? How do you know if someone would have lived, they didn't have vitamins and died because they took vitamins or died because they didn't have vitamins and would have lived, they did. You don't. The only way to do it is to take two people, have them live the exact same life. One guy takes vitamins, one guy doesn't. Test their blood along the way. They have the same life experiences, the same stress. You can't do that, obviously. There's a lot of variables when it comes to human health. Stress, your lifestyle, the pollution that you live in. There's a lot of things. But to say that the building blocks of the human body, nutritional supplements like vitamin A, D, C, B1212 ones that we know are absolutely

beneficial to the body they don't inject vitamin b12 into athletes because it doesn't help right they inject it because it's awesome like if you ever had take vitamin b12 supplements i take b12 it's fucking great it gives you energy liposomal b12 you spray it under your tongue like give yourself a big dose of b12 it's fucking great does it depend on the way you spray it under your tongue, give yourself a big dose of B12, it's fucking great. Does it depend on the way you take it in, like whether it's a pill or a... Well, the injectable B12 is the best, and there's some forms of vitamin C that's more easily absorbed

by the body, but what can't be disputed, what these guys say when they're doing studies, it doesn't work. You can't do a study like that. What we know for a fact is that people need vitamins. You need them. You need them in your food. You can't do a study like that. What we know for a fact is that people need vitamins. You need them. You need them in your food.

You need them in your nutrients in your food. You need to have building blocks for repair. You need to give your body protein. You need to give your body carbohydrates. We understand all that. The reason why they've broken these vitamins down into individual components is because they know what each one does yeah well in the news i mean this is another media thing the media loves a story like either vitamins do everything or vitamins do nothing because that gets readers yeah you know oh it's a gray area or oh they probably do something or none of those

articles getting readers so instead you put the article like oh this guy says they do nothing yeah this is uh one of the guys that had a retort to it. He said he believes that multivitamins address nutritional deficiencies in people. We don't believe they're the answer to all life ailments such as the editorial suggests. And I think that's one of the problems with saying that vitamins don't help. Without a doubt, nutritional deficiencies are not good for you. You can live through them and you could live a dollar life. But if you take good food into your body, you will feel better.

And the reason for that is nutrients. For sure you should get it from live food, from vegetables and from fresh vegetables and fresh meats. That's for sure where you should get your vitamins if you can eat a balanced diet that way. But supplementing is better than not supplementing. It just is. I mean, it's pretty much been proven. And we don't always understand what those deficiencies do to our brain. Whereas physically, you can see if you're getting fat.

You can see if you're getting unhealthy or whatever. But brain activity, intelligence, we can't see that. So we don't know what eating all this shit does to our brain. No doubt. I mean, you want to really clean up your body. You want to really be healthy. Cut out the processed food first. Just cut out all that stuff, if you can.

Cut out all the stuff that's not just natural things that animals have been eating forever, like vegetables and meat and eggs, all the normal stuff. As soon as you cut out all that stuff, even dairy. I've started cutting out dairy. God damn it. I was listening to Tony Hinchcliffe the other day, and I was like, I don't want to cut out dairy. But if you do,

you feel better. Super Twink? Super Twink's his new name. Don't refer to him as anything other than that. He's happy with it. He's going with it. Didn't we get, like, this country got crazy into milk and dairy after a lobbying campaign, wasn't it? Was that what it was? I think so. I think in the 50s and 60s milk came, like dairy farmers

said, hey, yeah, give your kids a glass of milk every day of the week or whatever, every morning. I feel like we weren't as big into it before that. Maybe. I mean, it makes sense. It totally makes sense. It makes sense that they would try to do that. I mean, look, whenever there's a way to make more money, there's a way to make money.

That's what they do. Can we make more money by pretending people need milk? What's fucking a glass of milk a day? It's shown to make your children grow an extra inch a year. You know, back in the old days they would talk about Paul Molls being the cigarettes that doctors prefer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have that poster up in my office. It was like, four out of five doctors love camels or whatever the fuck.

It's amazing. And that was our parents' lifetime. They was like, when they were like... The 50s maybe? 60s? When was that? Yeah, yeah, no, 50s. Yeah, not even that long ago.

Yeah. Well, I was born in 67. My mom was 21 when I was born. So she lived in the 50s. She saw that shit when she was a kid. Look at this. Blow it in her face and she'll follow you anywhere. Blow it in her face. Oh my god, that's a load

joke. They had a load joke. But what is that? I don't even know what that is. It's a cigarette. Yeah, but see if you can find the Dr. Paul Mall doctor ads. That's what Johnny Carson used to smoke. Until his lungs became these black shriveled up things

dangling from his neck, rattling around inside of his wheezing chest. More doctors smoke camels than any other cigarettes. Is that what it says? That's the one. There it is. God, look at that. That's so crazy.

They used to do that too. You watch those old movies where someone would go to the doctor and the doctor would be smoking cigarettes in the office. Yeah. Whoa, look at this. For 30 days, test camels in your T-zone. T for throat. Yeah, the T for throat.

I saw another poster that showed the, like, it's good for your T-zone, your throat or something. Oh, my God. What was the year of that, Brian? It doesn't say. That's so crazy. It's so crazy that that was I mean it couldn't have been any earlier than the 40s or 50s

that's how quickly things evolve that's not even 100 years man that's nuts they thought you were supposed to smoke cigarettes do you ever see the

J. Edgar Hoover movie with Leonardo DiCaprio it's part of the movie where his mom is telling him that your doctor has been telling you to smoke

to make you more vital you need to smoke to make you more vital. You need to smoke. Listen to your doctor. It's amazing. It's amazing. Here's the T-zone. See, it says your T-zone, which will tell you T for throat.

T for taste. That's the page I have in my office. What the hell is that? Your T-zone. How are these people not all in jail? Seriously. Oh, and it's the same. One of the dudes that was behind some of these campaigns that said, you know, smoking, we can't prove smoking harms people.

It's the same dude that's in charge of climate denial stuff. Yeah, same thing. Just put some doubt in people's minds. You can't prove it. Well, how about this? Santa. Santa smoking. How about this thing that we read earlier today about the

climate change expert, the highest paid guy, was fucking fake. I love that. It's so beautiful. Things like that make you wonder about the simulation. He's like that fake translator. Just find a way to get into the... Yeah, we didn't talk about that yet. That's one of the weirdest things

ever on television. This guy at the Nelson Mandela funeral was not only faking being able to translate sign language, he had done it before and gotten in trouble with it before and 10 years ago was accused of murder. And this guy was... And raped. Raped too? God damn it.

And he was three feet away from the fucking president. Pretending to translate all these speeches. And he was having a full from the fucking president. Yeah. And no one... Pretending to translate all these speeches. And he was having a full-on schizophrenic episode, apparently. Well, that's what he claims. Well, that's what he says, yeah. Maybe he's just a con man. What is that? Was an angry group that burned two men to death.

Wow, he was in an angry group that burned two men to death. Whoa. Where you at? Africa is so crazy. Where you at? Did you just say that? Where you at? Oh is so crazy Where you at? Did you just say that? Where you at? Oh no you didn't

That was another thing People got upset about Remember when we talked about that On the podcast Why do black people Talk on their speakerphone? Yeah And people

Why do you guys Say black people? Because they do I'm just saying There's nothing wrong With talking on your speakerphone But you tell me Why do black people

Talk on their speakerphone Like that? They do that a lot They don't do it as much anymore That's kind of dropped off Or maybe I'm not Saying it, why do black people talk in their speakerphone like that? They do that a lot. They don't do it as much anymore. That's kind of dropped off. Or maybe I'm not saying that as many black people. Are we talking like Bluetooth? No, they would have their phone on speaker.

So they'd be standing there. What's up, dog? What are you doing, man? And then they would talk like the guy would be like, yo, man, you know me. I just tell you. And you'd be able to hear both sides of the conversation. It's like they wanted to let you know that they don't hold their phone up to their ear. That's the new style.

I think what people are getting mad is that you think that no white girls do it, I guess. Maybe? Well, there's nothing wrong with doing it. Right. So, look, if I hear one side of your conversation or two sides of your conversation, it doesn't mean fuck all to me.

It's the same thing. If I hear you talking on the phone, if you're having this conversation and I don't hear the guy on the other end, it's not better. You know? It's just a conversation I'm hearing. It's not a bad thing. If I hear you talking on the phone, if you're having this conversation and I don't hear the guy on the other end, it's not better. It's just a conversation I'm hearing. It's not a bad thing. So if you choose to have your friend on speakerphone and you talk to

him and you want the whole world to hear the full conversation, what do I give a shit? I don't have a problem with it at all. Logically, to me, it's just the same as one person talking. It's not hurting my feelings. But I think it's weird that black people enjoy that, that they like to put their phone

on speakerphone. Or at least did. Is this like yelling at the movie theaters? No, that's rude. Because yelling at the movie theaters interrupts something for other people.

Like, you go to see Smaug, you want to see a dragon talk. You want to hear someone go, Oh, you done fucked up now, Bilbo! Oh, don't go in there, Bilbo. That motherfucker gonna fry you. No. I think that's rude.

But if you're outside the movie theater and the movie's out, and you're like, yo, dog, that smog was the shit. Yo, you just see that shit, B? Yeah, man. That dragon is a motherfucker, dude. Dragon is a motherfucker, too. I am fire. The way he questions Bilbo, and Bilbo's got the key.

Is it Bilbo? Yeah, it's Bilbo, right? Who's the old one? Frodo, right? The little dude from the last one. Aren't they all little? But the other ones, they were the ones. Frodo was from the last one.

Right. And then Bilbo's in the new ones. Yeah, exactly. It's a good fucking movie. It doesn't solve world problems. It's not going to

change the world. It's not going to make anybody cry. You're not going to believe for a second it's real. That's my kind of movie.

Yeah. I don't want to see any depressing movies dude. I don't want to see babies die of cancer. Yeah. No.

I can't watch that one I was talking about earlier. The orca. Yeah. The black one. I don't want to watch that one.

That's real depressing because that's real life that's even to me worse than a depressing movie about you know a fictional character but i don't i don't want i don't go to depressing movies anymore but i did go to see dallas buyers club but it wasn't really that depressing it was just kind of crazy it's another stock market one Stock market one, right? No, no. It's about AZT, about the use of AZT to treat AIDS patients and about how they just unloaded AZT on people. Human trials of AZT that are just dropping like flies. People, they were using AZT for cancer medication. It was killing more people than the cancer was. Good God.

And when AIDS came along, they're like, look, we'll just fucking throw AZT at them. We got a bunch of this shit. Got it in factories. So what was behind them wanting to use this shit? They would make money. They would make money on it? And the movie goes into great detail about it. And the movie actually has a disclaimer at the end.

It's quite fascinating. They talked about the cocktails where AZT was used in a lower dose and helped save lives. They said it just as an aside at the end of the movie in print. Like, yeah, yeah, we got to say that so we don't get sued. Wow. it just like as an aside at the end of the movie in print again we gotta say that so we don't get sued you know Wow but but the reality of AZT is AZT is toxic as fuck and Matthew McConaughey's character gets AIDS and they put him on AZT he's about to die and then he starts eating healthy and going to this guy in Mexico who's been kicked out of the United States for practicing alternative medicine I don't want to tell you anymore.

Spoiler alert. A, C, D. It's pretty interesting. It's good for HIV. But it's the same thing. It's all about. Did you just say that? Of course he did.

He's 12. He's going on 12. I mean, it's the same thing. It's just people making money. It's just people making money off a drug that kills people. They don't care. The movie goes into really, they do a really good job of painting how

the decisions were made. It's interesting stuff. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing when there's money behind it. They'll do the craziest shit. Craziest shit. Do you have hope, Lee Camp, for the human race? Do I have hope? I think it could go one of two ways. I think we could...

We're going down a really ugly path right now where things like the corporations are taking over the decisions that are being made globally and things like the Trans-Pacific Partnership, which is the largest trade deal mankind's ever seen. And it basically cedes the sovereignty of our country to corporations, and it's being pushed forward right now. Has that passed? It has not passed yet, obama is trying very hard to make it pass and and uh it's being decided by 600 corporate lobbyists and uh and not they're not allowing the wiki leaks leaked some of it and it's pretty horrible uh it basically says that if like a corporation can't do something here because of environmental laws or whatever laws, they can then sue us in an international tribunal to get their profits. And I think that if we keep going down that path, it's going to be very ugly. But I think that people are waking up.

What can they do, though, if they really are waking up? What do you think could be done? If you look at the society that we've sort of found ourselves in today in 2013, you sort of extrapolate from there 30, 40 years in the future. How do you see it all working out? I mean, to make it work out, we've got to start – I think we've got to start living differently. I mean, if every country were to use resources the way America does, we'd need – what are the numbers? Three, five Earths, something like that to be able to sustain it. We live in an absolutely unsustainable model and maybe the party will go on for a few more years

but eventually it's got to end and so I think we do have to change the way we live in a pretty severe sense and it's being thrown into our face as we see every day. The fact that there's a patch of plastic twice the size of Texas floating in the Pacific, you know, Fukushima, all this shit. It's coming back on. It's even bigger than that now, right?

Yeah. It's like that H.G. Wells quote. I love this quote that history is a race between education and catastrophe. And, you know, he figured that out when he was writing War of the Worlds in the 1800s, when really they hadn't even begun to fuck the world up yet. And that other great quote, we'll do the right thing once we've exhausted all other options. I love that one. That one's great.

That one's fantastic. You know, I'm listening to this latest hardcore history podcast right now. You ever listen to Dan Carlin's Hardcore History? No. Amazing podcast. He takes episodes in history that you would probably never study and makes them really fascinating and really interesting. But it's about World War I, what got us into World War I

and how brutal World War I was when the Germans invaded the Belgians. Yeah. It's hard to really believe that that was 100 years ago. True history is mind-boggling, because what we learn as kids is nothing. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, you really don't get nearly... There's not enough time.

You get history how many days a week? How many hours in a day? You're in class for an hour at a time. What the fuck are you going to learn? Here, take this at home and be even more ridiculous. You know, read some pages that you'll never remember, and we'll teach you some shit that we've already disputed, like Columbus. We still have Columbus Day.

Yeah, I know. Columbus Day. He's one of the most evil motherfuckers. His own journals talk about, like, chopping people's hands and noses off if they didn't bring him gold. Yeah, his own journals. His own fucking diaries. If you want to learn about him, listen to our podcast with Greg Proops.

Greg Proops drops knowledge, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, Greg's great. If you're listening, that podcast is amazing. He's so smart, but he's also so well-read, and it's so entertaining. So he's talking about Columbus. It's like one of the best descriptions of how fucked up those people were. The scene of them landing in these places

where these people had never seen people like that before. And also in the diaries he's like, it's amazing how generous they are. They just walked up and wanted to be friendly or whatever and then when they don't bring enough gold, he fucking chops their heads off. Yeah, they were all like psychedelic people. Taking ayahuasca and living off the land.

And these crazy assholes came by in boats, starving to death. Just raping. This thing that I'm listening to about World War I, it's really hard to wrap your head around these atrocities taking place today because of what the Germans did to the Belgians. It's really crazy, like Genghis Khan type shit. And the idea that that's only a hundred years ago and that that's the same the same animals who would call themselves people today existed then like the form of us and them they're the

same there's no difference maybe we have better nutrition so people like they get bigger but other than that you know we're a little taller. Yeah. That's how we got going. Well, Japanese people, clearly, they've aided, you know, nutrition's aided them. The size of Japanese people, since the indoctrination into the Western diet, they've grown, like, steadily larger and larger. And humans have, too. Like, if you go back to, like, you know, Rocky Marciano, who was the heavyweight champion of the world, he was 180 pounds.

He was, like, 189 at his heaviest. He wasn't big at all you ever go into like a fort from the civil war and the door is like four foot five or something yeah old houses you have to duck you know like people in the civil war they weighed like 120 pounds and these great you know historical figures like i'm i'm saying robert e lee but i don't actually know how tall he was but it's like guys like robert e lee or whatever they're like five foot tall, and you're like, what? Let's find out how tall was Robert E. Lee. I bet you're right.

I think Napoleon was really... Well, at least he's known as being a little dude. Because he was a little dude amongst little dudes. Yeah, how tall was Napoleon? Let's find out after Robert E. Lee. Okay, let's say a guess. I say he's 5'5". What do you say?

5'4". 5'5 What do you say? 5'4 5'1 He was actually 5'10 Zero He was a tall guy Yeah we fucked up 5'1, 0

Okay Tall guy How tall was Napoleon? We fucked up Abraham Lincoln was huge I thought you were doing Napoleon Abraham Lincoln was huge though Okay Napoleon

I say I say 5'1 for Napoleon I say 5 feet tall 4'8 4'8 Jamie. 4'8". You don't give a fuck. You was doing the Price is Right shit. Huh.

It says 5'5". Wait a minute. That doesn't make any sense. Because people were really little back then. 5.5? That doesn't mean 5.5. 5.5 inches. Is it in feet? Is he Canadian? It says 1.686 meters.

What is that? What the fuck is that? Why would you give me that? Ask Siri. Oh, I mean. Why does it say five? It says five comma five feet tall. That's weird.

Okay, this website sucks. All right, let's go in there. Wikipedia. Okay, his height was actually... How tall was Napoleon? Huh, listen to this. The British propaganda of the time promoted the idea that Napoleon was short.

In reality, his height was above average for the period. Wow. That is really interesting stuff. True history. That's exactly what we were talking about. Historians have now suggested that Napoleon was 5'6", which was often seen...

Wow, that's really interesting. That's not that short for back then. Yeah, it says Napoleon was often seen with his imperial guard, which also contributed to the perception of his being short because the imperial guards were above average height. In psychology, the Napoleon complex is regarded as a derogatory social stereotype. That is interesting. So in reality, Napoleon was taller than the average person at the time.

You learned it here first, folks. And we learned it because of the internet. Lee Camp. See, soon that will be wired into our minds, and we will just think it. And then everybody will be an annoying cunt that has all the answers. And they'll tell you something, like all self-righteously and you'll be like, I know that too.

Duh. Everybody knows everything. Now I do. Yeah, that will help, right? When everybody knows everything. We can't, you know. If everybody knows everything, there'll be no grandstanding. I think we'll be equally vapid when everybody has all information. We're also going to be able to tell when anyone's lying.

We're going to know everything about everything, so there's not going to be any secrets. It's going to be weird. They'll be able to brain scan for lying pretty soon. They're just going to be on ecstasy all day. They're going to develop a new ecstasy that doesn't fuck with your head. So you can just be on ecstasy all the time. Everyone knows everything, but no one cares.

Everyone knows everything about everybody, but everyone's on ecstasy. So like, so what? Give me a hug. So happy to be alive. So happy to be alive, Lee Camp. So when are you going back to New York? I leave tomorrow back to New York. Yeah.

I've showed there a lot. Are you having a good time at home? I've enjoyed it out here. I mean, you know. The weather. Partially because you gave me a good show enjoyed it out here. I mean, you know. The weather. Partially because you gave me a good show at the Ice House. It was a fun time, huh? I had good shows at Fake Gallery.

So, yeah, a lot of cool things happened out here. You did a great job at the Ice House. That was really funny stuff. I appreciate it. Really funny stuff. That crowd is the greatest crowd on Earth. Yeah, the smart. They don't get any better.

It just really doesn't get any better. It's a club from the 1960s. It spoils you when you get to deal with smart crowds because then you play the Neanderthals at a regular club. Yeah, but again, the yin and the yang, it makes you appreciate those smart crowds. That's true.

I think you should always have a shitty fucking show every now and then just so you appreciate the good ones. Yeah, yeah. It's a bunch of dumb people. You should probably schedule shows in places you know are going to suck just so they can really appreciate like, you know, Austin.

You know, somewhere cool. Yeah. Chicago, you know. Schedule places that are just fucking filled with geeks. Oh, you're going to get some emails from the places that aren't those cities. Let them send it in. You fucking weirdos identifying with a certain patch of dirt. What about Kansas City?

KC is the shit. There's some cool people here. Ooh. Ooh. Identifying with a certain patch of dirt. What about Kansas City? KC's the shit. There's some cool people here. If people want to find out about your stand-up, they want to catch you somewhere, where's the best way to get a hold of you? LeeCamp.net and then the Twitter's at LeeCamp and the Facebook is LeeCampComedian. Is there anybody with LeeCamp.com?

Yeah, there used to be. It used to be a Korean porn site. Woo-hoo! LeeCamp. Yeah, LeeCamp.com? Yeah, there used to be. It used to be a Korean porn site. Woo-hoo. LeeCamp. Yeah, LeeCamp. Oh, my name is Lee. I have no idea what it means. LeeCamp.

Makes sense. I always figured I might go over there one day and be like, hi, I'm LeeCamp. And they're like, that's not legal. Oh, you are a bad boy, LeeCamp. I can't believe you. But yeah, and I do those videos twice a week. Twice a week? Yeah, as well as a podcast. God damn. You're committed. I am committed. But yeah, and I do those videos twice a week. Twice a week? Yeah, as well as the podcast.

God damn. You're committed. I am committed. Holy shit. 280 episodes out there. Do you ever find yourself just like, there's nothing to talk about today, so. It's not that there's nothing to talk about.

It's that I don't always know how to make it funny. Sometimes it's fucking depressing. Yeah, so everything, so is that like the theme? Everything has to sort of have a meaning to it. You got to be pointing something out and try to make it funny. Yeah, most of the time I stick to pretty important topics. I will occasionally have some fun, like with the Amazon drones.

Right. That's a less important topic, but most of it's pretty crucial stuff going on in the world. The Amazon drones. One day we're going to look back. If people haven't watched that video, they should watch it. It's weird. We've shown it on the podcast before, the Amazon drone dropping packages off.

A lot of people, like actual science people, thought that they were trolling. They were just trying to get a lot of attention for their possibilities of the future. They're in no way, shape, or form actually preparing to use drones to drop packages off. That's interesting. I think the key would be flight patterns. Are they running into planes and power lines? I think they're just not. That's interesting. I think the key would be what the, like, flight patterns. Like, are they running into planes and power lines? I think they're really low.

I think they only go, like, above buildings and shit, which makes them easy to shoot down. What we were saying is that someone's going to shoot your package. Yeah, yeah.

It's going to happen. If you're delivering some fucking, something says, fragile. Skeet shooting with prizes. Yeah, you just make them blow up.

Meanwhile, they'll have 360-degree cameras everywhere to prevent that because Amazon wants to secure the safety of their drones at the expense of your privacy. We'll have no interest in the thousands of cameras flying around our neighborhoods. Yeah, they won't hack those at all.

They're going to realize from this that people need their freedom, need their space, and they're going to give us that. They're going to agree. This is the positive Joe? Yeah, man. This is what I do when I end the show. I try to end it on a good note.

I'm going to say Amazon's going to realize that the NSA and all these, they need to understand the folly of their ways. I think people are slowly waking up. I do. I'm positive. I consider myself a cynical optimist. I view the glasses half full of shit. That's a good one. I like that. I consider myself a cynical optimist. I view the glasses half full of shit. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

I like that line. That's a good one. I like that. I agree with you. I think it also could go both ways for sure. But right now the possibilities, I think, are leaning towards what you're saying, that people are waking up. It just takes a while. I mean, if you look back at this hardcore history podcast about World War I

and how brutal the uh the germans were to the belgiums and how you know that wasn't that long ago and you think of how relatively safe the world is today unless you're in pakistan you get hit by a drone or unless you're in afghanistan or a few like severe hot spots in the world there's a lot of fucking safety there's a lot of there's a lot more safety now than there's ever been before there's a lot of fucking safety. There's a lot of, there's a lot more safety now than there's ever been before. There's a lot more civility now than there's ever been before. And all of the bullshit, all the war and all the, it has to be done like under an air of fuckery. Because if you just come out with the, the idea of imperialism, it's not going to be accepted anymore. You can't just say like the Germans say, we're going to take Belgium.

You know, like America would go, well, why, why would you go into Belgium? They didn't do anything to anybody. They barely have an army. Like, what the fuck are you doing? We wouldn't stand for it. Well, we're going to go through Belgium because we want to get to France. You can't do that. Also, news gets around the world much quicker. It used to be if you wanted to say somebody did something and then attack them, you could do it,

and no one could prove otherwise, whereas now there's cell phone cameras in freaking Syria showing you what's going on. Yeah, that's also one of the reasons why the idea of false flags, you know, which a lot of people don't want to accept as a historical fact. But, you know, I mean, the goddamn History Channel talks about the Gulf of Tonkin. Yeah, yeah, you can, the Gulf of Tonkin is declassified documents that we fake that shit. Isn't it hilarious? Like, after it's a certain age, we're like, yeah, yeah, we fucking lied to you. A million people died, whatever, whatever. We don't do it anymore.

But, you know, if it's long enough, people just don't even notice that the truth came out. They're like, dude, that was 60 years ago. We don't do that anymore.

Okay? Pay your taxes, hippie. Do you think freedom's free? Because freedom ain't free. Fuck heads. You should make that the motto of your show. Freedom ain't free.

Freedom ain't free. Freedom ain't free. LeeCamp.net Ladies and gentlemen Lee Camp Thank you very much sir Thanks for having me man It's been a pleasure

Anytime you're in California We'll make you a regular son Definitely You're in Thanks to everybody That came out this weekend In Sacramento Super Twink and I

Had a great fucking time It was awesome He prefers Super Twink That's hilarious He's not scared Does he really Or is he just scared to say no? No, we're friends.

He loves it. I asked him last night. I go, I heard you're called Super Twink. And he goes, yeah. And I'm like, that's hilarious. And he goes, I like it. I'm like, what? Well, it's funny.

And it actually goes a lot. I don't want to give away his act. But he's got some really funny bits that that actually enhances. He's vegan. He's awesome. Tony Hinchcliffe is fucking awesome. And he'll be with me New Year's Eve with Sam Tripoli at the Melrose Improv in Hollywood. And we would like to thank 1-800-Flowers, 1-800-Flowers.com.

Go get yourself a beautiful Christmas centerpiece. $10 off by using the reference J-R-E. That's 1-800-Flowers and enter JRE. Go to 1-800-Flowers.com or call 1-800-Flowers and mention JRE, one of our newest and best sponsors. Everybody loves flowers, bitches. We're also sponsored by Onnit.com. Go to O-N-N-I-T.

Use the code name Rogan and save yourself 10% off any and all supplements. And finally, last but not least, we are sponsored by Squarespace, an awesome way to make a really easy, quick, clean, professional-looking website. You can do it. I can do it. They'll work on iPads, iPhones, And androids and their new e-commerce product galapagos which allows you to change the images when you hover over it with your cursor it's fucking easy and awesome way for anyone to design a website go to squarespace.com and use the code joe and the number 12 to save 10 off a limited time all right we will be back wednesday with

eddie huang and um and uh shane smith and brian's got some shows coming up too yeah i just i just All right, we will be back Wednesday with Eddie Huang and Shane Smith. And Brian's got some shows coming up, too. Yeah, I just went on sale Texas tour, me and Super Twink, Tony Hinchcliffe. January 9th, Houston. January 10th, Austin. And January 11th, Dallas. And, dude, Tony Hinchcliffe is fucking funny. That kid is really good, man.

He was really funny. One other show, Vegas, december 27th probably the greatest lineup i've ever put together ever um it's joey diaz brian callan ari shafir and me at the mirage shit is going to be crazy it's the day before the ufc friday the 27th come on down freaks all right we will see you guys wednesday much love. Big kiss. LeeCamp.net. Holla. Holla.