The Joe Rogan Experience - #44 - Todd McCormick (Part 2)

Episode Date: September 28, 2010

Joe sits down with Todd McKormick. ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 and they move shit around and put things in weird places. And when you read the translation, you're like, what the fuck does this mean? Well, they're figuring out how to translate it, not just both word for word, but figuring out how you would say that same sentence in English. So it structures well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:14 So it's clear what you're translating. It's fucking fascinating shit, man. It's fascinating. And I also wonder, after 50 or so years of everybody using English on the internet, how many kids are going to grow up just as English as their new language and their original language is like the old-fashioned thing their parents did. Could you imagine if there was only one language? Could you imagine how much shit would get done? You know what's interesting, though, when you say that? Languages are going to go away by technology very, very, very fast.
Starting point is 00:00:43 No languages? So what's going to happen? I technology very very very fast no languages well so what's going to happen I think translators you know like you'll just sit there and have something translated to you
Starting point is 00:00:50 in real time you know it's going to be voice detection and everything like that it's just going to make languages but there's still
Starting point is 00:00:55 going to be languages though people are still going to want to talk to each other traditionalists will still be there playing with their whole thing but what if a few generations go by
Starting point is 00:01:02 I think things are going to change profoundly well you're a proponent of the isolation tank. You actually have John Lilly's tank, don't you? I do. I actually, after I met John, he gave me his tank. He's got John Lilly's isolation tank. You're my only other friend that ever had one, actually.
Starting point is 00:01:15 That's like having Willie Mays' fucking baseball bat. You know what I mean? You know what's cool? I've got his shower shoes to go with it. Oh, shit. So I actually get out and walk in his shoes every time I go from my tank to the shower. That's crazy. They're not high heels, are they? No, pretty boring brown shower shoes.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Imagine when they figure out how to stimulate the mind to create certain states, and they do it in conjunction with the tank, which is really the way to do it, because it eliminates all the sensory input from this world. If they could figure out how to do that, put some electrodes on your head and set you in that fucking tank and light you up like a Christmas tree and you just go into some other world, then maybe people will stop talking. I think Dr. Lilly did that to me with 1cc ketamine injected. Yeah, you told me about that.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Yeah, what a rush. What did he do? What did he do exactly? you told me about that yeah what a rush yeah what did he do what did he do exactly well when i got there actually uh they i was gonna go into the tank just you know straight and um when i you gotta rinse off and everything before you go in the tank and the guy was prepping me and he says you know usually when we do it we we go in with one cc injected you know in a muscularly you know ketamine you know would you like some and i hear part of my brain go no no drugs thanks and then i hear my mouth go oh absolutely i'd love some and and then i i felt like a complete third person in
Starting point is 00:02:33 my own reality because he said no problem you know it's injected into muscularly is that a problem in my side of my brain went needles no my mouth however went no problem that'd be great you want to offend him yeah and, and you know what? And he walked away to go get me the stuff, and I stood there for a minute, and my brain was saying, no way. And my other side of my brain went, look, you're at Dr. Lilly's house, man. You've come all this way. There's no way you're saying no.
Starting point is 00:02:57 And he walked back in, and I felt a little alcohol swab on my muscle, and I heard my brain go, no. And then I heard my mouth go thank you very much and uh and then uh i i made the most naive uh sorry sorry i said how long does it take to kick in and i will never forget his face when he went oh you haven't done it before oh you should lay down about 45 seconds uh and he like put me in the tank. Now, when you do it, what if you do something like that and you have sleep apnea? Do you run the risk of choking and not breathing?
Starting point is 00:03:33 I don't know. I didn't have sleep apnea, but the last thing I was thinking about was sleeping when he slipped me into that tank. I thought I was there to watch the entire world come to an end, and I had a ringside seat. It was pretty interesting. So they shot you up with this ketamine you lie down the tank yeah you get into the tank and you float and for me it was the first experience ever floating and when the tank so for your first experience floating was with ketamine yeah oh hey it happens you know how do you say no to dr lily you know i'd watch the movie altered states dozens of times i'd own the laser disc that's how so what happened what happened after after you it kicks in 45 seconds in i i i thought i was freaking out and um the funnier
Starting point is 00:04:10 side of this was my good friend was in the in the other room and i was background panic noise while all this was going on and he didn't know about the ketamine entering into the equation and he was sitting there with dr lily and his assistant at the time, Craig, and they had no concern of me like sounding like I'm drowning. And finally, he asked, you know, is he on ketamine? And Craig said, yes. And he said, would you go get me some? And my friend was totally blown away. Didn't think that was going to be the answer to the problem. And John put some ketamine into his leg and told my friend to have a nice night. And he went into his bedroom and my friend could see into the bedroom where the tank was next to a bed and he didn't touch the tank he just went in and laid
Starting point is 00:04:51 down next to the bed and I actually stopped screaming at that point and my friend was looking in the bedroom you were screaming I was freaking out man okay so you're in the tank you They shoot you up with ketamine. You panic. You start screaming. John Lilly says, give me some of what he's having. Yeah, and honestly, for me, I felt like, well, when I stopped screaming, I remembered it was conscious. I felt like somebody came into my trip and just said, yo, take a deep breath, calm down.
Starting point is 00:05:21 And I was like, okay. And you know what? I just channeled the energy. And it actually was a really positive experience. So you think that John Lilly joined you in your trip? What if he joined you in actual isolation? No, he didn't. Me and my girlfriend later on tried to get in. It's like that dentist.
Starting point is 00:05:36 It's not a cool place to have a friend actually. Massaging your tits. Yeah, come here. Let's cuddle. It didn't work. You know what? In a sense, yes, I feel like he did. I felt like there was a telepathic communication.
Starting point is 00:05:47 As much as this is going to blow all of the credibility I just had about talking about pot, yeah, I actually felt like Dr. Lilly and I communicated on a level that was more telepathic during the time I was under the drug. Now, do you think the tank even had— It's a true story. Don't want to believe it. I don't care. Do you think the tank would even work, though, if he took the same amount of pills and just laid on something comfortable or something the tank
Starting point is 00:06:09 no i don't think the pill or i wouldn't think that your environment would have to deal here's how the tank's huge right no it's huge here's how mckenna described ketamine he said that it was like you he believed that when you did psychedelics you somehow or another connected to the experience that everybody had doing those psychedelics before you. That's one of the reasons why the mushroom experience is so rich and diverse. It says thousands and thousands and millions of people over the years have done mushrooms,
Starting point is 00:06:34 and you're connected to this one big, gigantic, growing experience. He said doing ketamine, he said ketamine is so much more rare that really it gave him the feeling like he was in an abandoned warehouse or an office building with no furniture in it.'s interesting yeah he said i felt very alone in my trip initially and then when i felt like there was another energy around me i i it did feel
Starting point is 00:06:55 different and it was weird i had a long conversation with john lilly after it and he really he was i i really liked the old guy he was really a nice guy and then afterwards when i left whatever the next day his assistant showed up and said, you made a real impression on John. He'd like you to have his tank. He just gave it to you? Yeah. Wow, that's crazy.
Starting point is 00:07:12 He probably felt bad. He probably didn't want you to sue him for fucking whacking him with ketamine and throwing him into a fucking bathtub. He's like, this dude might sue me, man. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work this. I'm going to work this. I'm going to stroke it. I'm going to call him up.
Starting point is 00:07:24 I'm going to say, yo, man, you are the shit, and I'm going to do? I'm going to work this. I'm going to work this. I'm going to stroke it. I'm going to calm up. I'm going to say, yo, man, you are the shit, and I'm going to give you my tank. Oh, you know, Oliver Stone went the night before me in his tank. Yeah? Yeah, and freaked out, too. I wonder if he peed in there and jerked off or anything. Yeah, he took a huge shit. Oliver Stone's a big pooper.
Starting point is 00:07:36 I had never really thought about that until just this minute. I would have definitely thought that. No, he did Kayla and did it. And two was, yeah, we both did it. Yeah, we got to talk about it years later, him and I, sit down and chat about our weekend at John's. Wow. What a fucking freaky dude.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Whack people out with special K and throw them into a fucking tank of water. You do know this is the guy that the Day of the Dolphin was made about. He's the guy that did all of the research on dolphins. Dude, I got all his books. All of them, huh? Yeah. You have all of them, huh? Oh, he's a bad motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:08:02 He was awesome. He's got a great book where he actually shows, it's um the deep self has uh directions on how to make a tank shows you how to make it well that pre that precursor the satamari tank i got isn't it satamari is samadhi samadhi yeah that's what i had too i had one of those as well now i got a float lab one the new uh crazy version have i showed you that not yet oh you gotta see it's in the basement you're gonna trip it's fucking It's the craziest thing of all time. I think they're awesome. I think a lot of people have never really been able to meditate
Starting point is 00:08:30 within themselves. When you get in this tank and there's no resistance on your body and you don't really hear and you don't really see and you feel the same temperature as the surroundings around you, you really feel so boundless. You're flying through space, man. It's a spaceship. That downstairs is a fucking portal to another world. you really feel so boundless. And it's truly... You're flying through space, man. You're flying through space.
Starting point is 00:08:46 It's a spaceship, man. That downstairs is a fucking portal to another world. It really is. It really is. When you learn how to relax, once you learn how to relax, and it takes a few times. You have to do it a bunch of times. And depending on your personality,
Starting point is 00:08:57 how good you are at truly letting go. But if you really learn how to let go, man, you go on trips and that thing. Dude, I used to... I'd set an alarm at like 4 a.m. if went to sleep before midnight and i just like walk because i had mine in my bedroom i'd walk right to my tank get back in it and like go back to sleep and like four or five six o'clock i would always wake up before seven feeling like man i just slept for so long and i felt great and my dreams would be so lucid so incredibly real real and tangible, and holy shit, I want to
Starting point is 00:09:25 go write them down lucid. That's intense. So you only had to walk a couple steps, so you barely woke up. I barely woke up. That's right. And you went right back out. Right back out. Bam.
Starting point is 00:09:33 That's amazing. You got it. It's awesome. Mine's too far from my fucking bed. In the walking, I'd wake up going, what the fuck are you doing with your life, Rogan? Getting up at 4 o'clock in the morning, you fucking weirdo. To go meditate. And then I would go on the internet
Starting point is 00:09:46 and check my Twitter. On the way down. Ooh, UFOs. Congress? What's going on here? Next thing you know, it'll be an hour later.
Starting point is 00:09:54 I'll be like, I'm gonna go get some breakfast, man. I'm fucking hungry. Totally awake, sipping coffee. Did you see that shit that was on CNN?
Starting point is 00:10:00 What are these, all these former U.S. Air Force employees are coming out about UFOs? Around nuclear arms. Around nuclear facilities. That's fucking trippy shit, man. I wonder if these guys are all just nuts.
Starting point is 00:10:12 I wonder if these guys are all kooks or if they're like disinformation guys that work for the government. The government wants us to think there's fucking real UFOs. They can just distract the shit out of people. A non-control mechanism. and just distract the shit out of people. Meanwhile, Obama's passing on this legislation making it easier for people to wiretap your emails and get into your fucking Twitter account, your Facebook pages. They're passing all this legislation
Starting point is 00:10:33 right under everybody's noses. I wonder if that's what it is. I wonder if it's just a distraction tactic. I truly believe it is. The UN appointed some chick to be the ambassador when the aliens come. Listen, bitch, you don't speak for me. Is that real?
Starting point is 00:10:47 Yes! The UN just appointed an ambassador. And what the fuck's her job? Just sit around and wait? I believe she's an astrophysicist, and her job is to communicate with the aliens. You don't talk for me, hooker. Can I just say something? I got a dog.
Starting point is 00:11:01 We have been on this planet evolving with dogs for thousands of years, and we don't speak Doberman. We don't speak German Shepherd. And how do we think that they're going to show up and suddenly we're going to be like, sit. Good alien. It's fucking hilarious. Up, up. The idea is that they're going to be so much more intelligent than us. They're going to be able to understand what our language is.
Starting point is 00:11:22 They'll be able to decipher our language. That's the hope and the dream. I think they're going to show up and think, food, man, you look soft and juicy. That's what we do. I'm going to fuck these people. If you look at what every single... Maybe they just eat us.
Starting point is 00:11:36 We'd be like cows. If you look at what every single intelligent life form on this planet does, they're going to make sure that they exploit everything weaker than them that's what that's the ethic of space it seems like it's the ethic of life on this on this planet is that survival of the fittest it's and when you're the fittest you get the fuck the ones are not as fit that's just the way it is what human beings do to dolphins and sea
Starting point is 00:11:59 world and what we do to killer whales we know the killer whales rescue human beings that fall off boats. We know that there's never been a case in the wild of a killer whale, a documented case, killing a human. The only times they've ever done it is in captivity. Other than SeaWorld? That's the only times they've ever done it, is in captivity. Can't blame them.
Starting point is 00:12:13 And we know what dolphins do. Dolphins kill baby dolphins so they can force the female dolphin to fuck. Dolphins are ruthless, man. Is that true? Yeah, it's fucking true. They kill the baby dolphins? They kill the babies. How do they kill them? They kill them with their true. They kill the baby dolphins? They kill the babies. How do they kill them?
Starting point is 00:12:25 They kill them with their face. They kill them, yeah. And that's one of the reasons... Yeah, dolphins rape the fuck out of each other, too. And one of the reasons why female dolphins are whores is female dolphins are super slutty. And the reason being is because they have to fuck as many male dolphins as possible
Starting point is 00:12:40 so that when they have babies, those male dolphins won't kill the babies. So the male dolphin will go, I fucked that bitch, that might be mine. Damn. They like her because they get to fuck her. Where'd you get this breakdown? It's all true.
Starting point is 00:12:50 It's all from documentaries. And so the idea being that the mother does not breed while she's with the babies. So it takes like six years or something like that before she's willing to breed again. Oh, before she breeds again? Before she breeds again because she has to take care of the babies.
Starting point is 00:13:03 How long does a dolphin live? That's a good question. I don't know. I don't know, but dolphins... You need to seem to know a lot about their sex life. Dolphins are...
Starting point is 00:13:10 I'm a freak. I'm a freak, son. I'm just thinking about fucking one of those dolphins. I'm just saying. I'm just thinking about fucking one for a while. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:13:15 They're so pretty. If it only had a sheep's pussy but it was a dolphin. Right. I'd be in there, son. Put those two together. Yeah, if you get perfect... Fuck it and it could drag you
Starting point is 00:13:24 through the water at the same time. Yeah. Imagine that. Take you on trips and fuck it could drag you Through the water At the same time Yeah Imagine that Take you on trips And fuck it You better be able To hold your breath
Starting point is 00:13:29 God damn We're gonna need To design some new dolphin That you can fuck That's right Or maybe you could just Climb on the back of a dolphin And just get a flashlight
Starting point is 00:13:37 Attached to the dolphin You could probably do that Could be I heard it already feels good There's videos on the internet Of people fucking dolphins Have you seen those? No
Starting point is 00:13:44 No That can't be real That's totally real No one's fucking dolphins the internet of people fucking dolphins. Have you seen those? No. No. That can't be real. That's totally real. No one's fucking dolphins, dude. I'll show it to you. How's that possible? Huh? Their penis comes out and the woman gets underneath it?
Starting point is 00:13:52 I don't remember. Are you making this show? No, I'm not. No. There's tons of videos of people fucking dolphins. Can't be tons. Actual sex, Brian? Yes.
Starting point is 00:14:01 I need some clarification. I'll show you one. Okay, we need to go deep on this one. We can't just leave people out there thinking that there's human beings. I wonder how many people are right now going, this is bullshit. I will lose myself. Oh, a lot of people. That's the beautiful thing about the internet now.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Instantly, you can find out. You can Google and at least get the general consensus. I mean, you can't find out who killed Kennedy. There's some shit you can't find out. But you can Google YesOn19 and help us win in California. It's like 34 days away.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Yeah, it's YesOn19.com. 34 days away, and what are the most recent polls? Recent polls show us winning. It depends on whose poll you look at, Fox or what have you. And wow, they make very human sounds. What are you doing, Brian?
Starting point is 00:14:46 He's looking up. I was finding out some dolphin sex. You said it wasn't true. Is she doing it? Is it real? Don't tell him it's not true. It's not real? Well, he's on an iPhone.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Everything's censored by Apple. Dolphin uniform. Apple isn't going to let you look at porn. Yeah, man. How are you thinking you're going to look at that on that? They're going to say, no dolphin porn, no good. Yeah, but they can't stop you from going to all those websites now. They'll go to HTML5 because of the iPad.
Starting point is 00:15:08 All the porn websites, none of them are flash-based anymore. They're like, oh, really? You can't get on the iPad? Oh, let's just change this shit up, son. Whoa. They change everything to HTML5, and then that works on your iPad, and then you can watch porn on your iPad. Who would have known? Innovation leading the way again. It's porn leading the way.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Hey, there are a lot of Christians who need their porn. They do. You know? How about that new dude that got busted? What's his name? Eddie Long,
Starting point is 00:15:29 is that his name? The new big black preacher got busted. Yeah, how's that? Banging some boys. I'm just saying. What is his name? Dude, that's double bad
Starting point is 00:15:38 because, you know, brothers ain't supposed to be even thinking like that. Yeah, brothers do not get down with the gay. No homo, man. That's why the Proposition 8 passed in California. A lot of gay people were really pissed off at black folks.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Because black folks voted some ridiculous number, ridiculous percentage voted for it. Those white folks should be mad at their Christian siblings who brought Christianity to all these poor people, you know? Because that's really the problem. Okay, well, you're going back a little bit far with your blame there, fella. Whoa. What is this guy's name? Ed Long? What was the guy's going back a little bit far with your blame there, fella. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:16:05 What is this guy's name? Ed Long? What was the guy's name? I think I busted. I want to read this. It couldn't be Ed Long. That's like his point. No, you're right.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Due to the size of the dolphin's dick, the best way you can have sex with a male dolphin is to masturbate him. Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian. Not a male dolphin. What about a female dolphin? His name is Ed Long. His name is. It's Eddie Long.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Yes. Eddie Long? It's true. Eddie Long. You couldn't write this fiction. You really couldn't, man. It's like, you remember when there was a... Eddie Long?
Starting point is 00:16:36 Yeah. It's all in the name. You know it right from the jump. Here's the best part. Homie's got a pink tie. Oh. How about that? So he's the one taking it.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Yeah, we're watching it. Not necessarily. With the pink tie? Kind of soft. Yeah, everything else is black. His outfit's dark and strong, powerful. He's just letting you know. I'm into that boy pussy.
Starting point is 00:16:57 Whoa. Bring him the flashlight. This is a big ad. They make you watch ads now. Yeah, they're good at it. Captive ads. They're saying, fuck you, Tivo. I know. It's like the only time I ever watch ads now are when I'm trying to watch a big ad. They make you watch ads now. Yeah, they're good at it. Captive ads. They're saying, fuck you, TiVo. I know.
Starting point is 00:17:06 It's like the only time I ever watch ads now are when I'm trying to watch a YouTube clip. Or this is CNN.com. Hey, you know what, man? It's only 30 seconds. Whatever. Whoa, of my life added up. So this guy, this Eddie Long,
Starting point is 00:17:18 another Christian man in a position of power that it turns out was actually banging boys. Shocking. What if the Catholic Church has been run by gays who are angry at the straight people this whole time? Right? And they get to wear their dresses and have their fabulous cars and drink out of their gold chalices and be covered in all these colors
Starting point is 00:17:39 and live in total secrecy and then pick out the little gay kids right out of the straight audience. The only flaw is that they hate Madonna. Whoa, what do you mean Madonna? The churches hate Madonna. And gay people love Madonna. Gay people love Madonna. See, therefore, your analysis does not hold water.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Whoa, I think it's true. That's what you think it is? That it's an ancient gay cult? Yeah. Makes sense. Pope wearing a dress? Yeah, of course. The whole deal.
Starting point is 00:18:06 What's up with that crazy fish head? All of them at the Vatican. All of them. Let me think. I don't want to fuck women. I want to go live with men for the rest of my life. Pretty much a gay. And you're not even allowed to masturbate?
Starting point is 00:18:15 Why not just... Oh, nocturnal emissions. Whoa, you can't even dream about getting off. Well, how about saltpeter? That shit they give them to keep them from getting horny? That's not true. It's not real? It's an urban myth, pretty much.
Starting point is 00:18:24 It's an urban myth? But still they actually give it to them salt peter's real shit stuff i think no i don't think they say it in jail all the time they say oh it's all peter and food really i don't know whatever i can't say yeah i still dream of my girlfriends and wake up feeling fairly aroused well i don't think they're really a salt peter in jail that's one of those urban legend type things. It's total urban legend. The whole idea is ridiculous. The whole idea that anybody would ask you to not have sex. Like, why would God give me a dick if I didn't want to use it?
Starting point is 00:18:51 God, don't procreate. Go. Yeah. God does not only not want you to procreate, doesn't want you to feel affection, doesn't want you to love someone. I love how people that talk about, you know, there's no evolution. There's just creationism. They don't want to talk about incestual relations between Adam and Eve and all their kids.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Yeah, what's up with that? Where the fuck that come from? God show up again with a new boat? Hey, I got new fresh meat. Yeah, there's a bunch of brothers and sisters fucking like crazy. That would be what it had to be, wouldn't it? If you go with the Christians. And then they did all this in 6,000 years.
Starting point is 00:19:20 So what's up? You're my brother. What's up? Yeah, that's okay. My Christian brother. Don't eat that apple. That shit's bad. No, and you know, I love that in the Union.
Starting point is 00:19:29 That was the first prohibition. The prohibition of thou shall not eat from the tree of knowledge. And who was the big cop? God. And how many people? Two. Two people he had to police, and God, according to Christian mythology, couldn't handle prohibition. Yeah, how hilarious is it?
Starting point is 00:19:47 God would make some shit that he didn't want you to eat. I'm going to tell you, don't eat it. I'm telling you, I will fuck your world up. Oh, oh, oh, you ate that apple that I told you not to eat? Well, guess what? You don't ever get a second chance. You're fucked forever. Your whole species is fucked.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Joe, do you ever wonder if that snake, that one snake, the original snake, ever made it, if he made it on Noah's Ark? Do you ever think about that? No, because that snake was the devil. It wasn't really a snake. That's how much I know. I was hoping that snake made it. Maybe that snake is all around us all the time. Yeah. Pretty much. The whole idea that
Starting point is 00:20:22 they'll make fun of fucking Muslims or they'll make fun of Scientologists that they'll make fun of fucking Muslims, or they'll make fun of Scientologists, they'll make fun of like, oh, they've got the wrong thing. You better come to Jesus. But see, I argue that everybody's an atheist, because a Jew doesn't believe in a Christian God, and a Christian God doesn't believe in Buddha, and a Buddha doesn't believe in a
Starting point is 00:20:38 Jewish God, and none of them believe in Muhammad. So it's really, they're all atheists, because they don't believe in anything but their little fantasy. Truthfully. So, they're all atheists because they don't believe in anything but their little fantasy truthfully So they're all atheists to somebody else's shit to somebody else's shit. They don't believe in their other gods So bam suddenly we're in alignment. I just don't also believe with any of their gods It's amazing that there are so many different religions hundreds literally we were neat. We were lost. We needed direction We write someone to walk up. I know where the food is. I know where you'll be warm
Starting point is 00:21:04 I know how to heal you sick I know where you'll be warm. I know how to heal you sick when you die and come with me. Right. It's amazing that there's so many different religions. But even though we know that they all say different shit, everyone is willing to die believing that the one they believe is right. Even though there's so many examples of contradicting ideas. For whatever fucking reason, we compartmentalize that when we go down the road of being a Mormon
Starting point is 00:21:27 or go down the road of being a Catholic or a Baptist. We just don't look at it. We just say, this is my team and screw your team. And it's a very NFL mentality.
Starting point is 00:21:37 You know, rah, rah, my team, boo your team. It's all the same shit. It is all the same shit. When I was in Indiana, I was in Indiana for UFC. Anybody who fought somebody from Indiana, even if they were American, they would boo them. Really?
Starting point is 00:21:48 Because you're not from Indiana. Boo! Oh, that's right, Dak. That's our local boy. It's Hoosiers. But think about it. Indiana is great, don't get me wrong. But the mentality is so fucked up that you're booing against other Americans because they're not from a similar place.
Starting point is 00:22:05 They're not within a certain distance of where you sleep. So you don't even like them right now. Boo, he's going up against our guy. We don't just have Americans versus the rest of the world. We'll go down to neighborhoods. We'll break it down to neighborhoods. We'll break it down to the Hatfields and the McCoys. The problem with Indiana is there's nothing else to fucking do there,
Starting point is 00:22:23 and they're not known for much in Indiana. And so that movie Hoosiers came out. Everyone was like, sports is now our big thing. So now it's like, seriously. The movie came out because sports is a big thing. Right, right, right. But they're so proud of that movie because that's all they have living in Indiana. They used to have this thing called the Indianapolis 500.
Starting point is 00:22:41 That was kind of big for rednecks, too. Yeah, they have a lot of shit, dude. Yeah, so it's not hate on my redneck friends. We've got to bring farming back to the Midwest is what we've got to do. Weed farming. You bring it back to weed, right? Not weed, man, but hemp. We need hemp, man.
Starting point is 00:22:54 Well, I know. Look, Farm Aid right now is in its 25th year, and the problem with it is 25 years, and they've gotten where? Because all these people they're trying to convince, they built their farms on corn and cotton, are completely wrong. And they're not going to have any economic independence back until they get their hemp back. When Indiana's John Cougar Mellencamp came onto the screen and they booed him. Really?
Starting point is 00:23:15 Boo. In Indiana? Yep. He's from Indiana. He is. They didn't get the cue card? He's a liberal. Oh, he's liberal.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Fucking liberal. Whoa. It was crazy. They showed him. I expected everybody to go apeshit. Boo. Wow. Boo.
Starting point is 00:23:35 You know, in Ohio, the farms are getting so bad that they're closing farms left and right that a lot of the farms are turning into shopping centers. Where my mom lived, just in in five years used to be farms everywhere and now it's like commercial buildings and just they're losing all these farms because there's no money in it or something's not going on right right uh in the farming industry in ohio well there's there's it's very difficult to run a farm and make a profit it's incredibly difficult it's so fucking hard especially when you're up against unfair trade practices and fucking fuels that come from 9 000 miles away well how about seeds you know you don't even own your seeds when you're
Starting point is 00:24:08 a farmer when you get seeds from monsanto big deal and you know hemp is the one thing that we need to really push that we don't have gmo control of we have to stand up and ask for you know our civil rights back we have to demand them back in fact i mean when we let's explain the seeds thing though what i was saying is when you buy seeds if you're a farmer you buy these seeds that have been made by this company monsanto yeah you don't own those seeds you go you got those seeds and when you plant your new plants and you grow like say if you grow peppers you can't take the seeds out of those peppers and grow more peppers because you don't own that that's Because you don't own that. That's right. You don't own that. That's right. They will sue you. Is it like copywritten?
Starting point is 00:24:46 They will sue you if you choose. It is. Yeah, it's incredible. Monsanto has actually people that go around and test crops of people that they suspect are using a generation away from their last seed. Wow. And it's really scary. I mean, and you know.
Starting point is 00:24:58 How crazy is that? Now, can you take the seeds and like make new versions of that seed? No. Or it can't have any trace of it at all? Is it even traceable? It's genetically modified so they know what the genome of this particular plant that they've created is. Right. So if you have that shit in your field, you have to pay them every year.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Every year. Wow. You have to pay for new seeds. You can't. The way people always did it is you grew tomatoes. You took the seeds from the tomatoes. You grew more tomatoes. You can't do that now. It's illegal.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Wow. That is the nuttiest shit ever. And that's the number one reason for genetically modifying food, is to control the market. And that's the number one reason also why marijuana will always remain illegal to a lot of people, or they'll want to keep it illegal, rather, is because they can't control it.
Starting point is 00:25:42 You know hemp is grown in every industrialized country other than America. It's amazing. How crazy is that? Canada, right up north, right above us, they're growing it. They grow all of the seed products
Starting point is 00:25:51 that are in whole foods and all that nutrition stuff. So all this is money that farmers could be making. All this shit. All this shit. That's absolutely right. They're stealing from them,
Starting point is 00:25:59 these cunts. Yep, the government is stealing from them. Stealing? Hugely. I love this country, guys. And it's stealing it by denying them their own history. It's the best country everywhere.
Starting point is 00:26:06 It's the fucking best country. It's got Indiana. Look at that NASCAR. NASCAR. They're going to bomb California is what they're going to do. What are they going to do, man? When that Proposition 9 takes over. 19. Proposition 19. I was thinking gay.
Starting point is 00:26:22 It's one of my favorites. When that shit goes into effect, if and when, it's going to change the culture. That's the big change. It's going to be in people's behavior. Because you can talk all the paper you want, but the most fascinating thing to me is what it does to people socially. It changes the fuck out of human beings. Right. Well, you know, some of the things that people are coming out against Prop 19
Starting point is 00:26:45 is saying is that it's going to lend itself to corporations, and it's not true. Corporations are not going to... Well, who's saying that? Who's saying that? Well, believe it or not, we have a lot of people that are in the medical marijuana industry that don't want to see Prop 19 pass
Starting point is 00:26:56 because they're comfortable right now and they're profiteering, and they don't want to see a status quo change. And it's really sad because these are the people that will benefit the most when their local communities allow them to start selling to anybody over 21 without a doctor's note. Right, but the doctors who've been making their living for all these years giving away prescriptions and charging $150 a pop, that's that source of income these guys have.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Doctors were historically wealthy, and they'll do fine actually practicing medicine, I'm sure. Maybe, but when you're set up for years and years and years just giving out medical marijuana prescriptions and you're comfortable with it and all of a sudden something's going to come along to make your business go away and you're going to have to come up with some whole new business if you're a selfish douchebag i could see where you'd be like man i don't want this isn't that why the alcohol beverage industry is giving to the campaign against us of course isn't that why all these interested self-interested
Starting point is 00:27:44 companies are stepping up? Yeah, it's all the same thing, but we don't expect it out of the medical marijuana doctors. Another lie I heard was that big tobacco money is behind this when it's such bullshit. Proposition 19? Yes, when you can look up and see where all the money came from. Dumbest thing ever. Realistically, though, Prop 19 was passed by somebody that, as somebody I've known for over 15 years, he's a really good person that really just wanted to do the right thing. He wanted to put forward a more liberal initiative,
Starting point is 00:28:09 but he had cash and he polled the initiatives and he found that more liberal initiatives were not polling well enough to actually pass. So he actually pulled back, pulled back, pulled back on the verbiage until he got an initiative that polled well enough to pass. And what a lot of people don't realize is that this is not the means to the end. This is just, or this is a means to the end. It's not the end. It's just one small step in the evolution of getting our freedoms back. And this Prop 19 is going to be one step closer to having our rights back. And what a lot of people aren't talking about, which is pissing me off, is that we got Meg Whitman buying her way into the governorship. And we have Steve Cooley, who has been the guy down here in LA, for those of you who
Starting point is 00:28:47 don't live in LA, who has been closing down all the Los Angeles bot clubs. And if this guy gets the top cop position in the state of California and Prop 19 loses, all of these idiots, and I'll say you are idiots that are going against Prop 19 that are selling medical marijuana, are going to lose your businesses and lose your freedoms. And the only thing that's going to protect you right now is if everybody in the state gets the rights that you have been getting for the last 14 years since medical marijuana. What's that cop's name? Let's not concentrate on these dildos. Let's concentrate on that cop.
Starting point is 00:29:18 What's the cop's name? Yeah, I'm sorry. Steve Cooley is running for attorney General, and he's basically running as somebody that's against the death penalty. And in California, you might as well be running against somebody unopposed. He's running against someone who's against the death penalty?
Starting point is 00:29:32 Yes. Oh, so he's running unopposed. In that sense, he is. Absolutely. And when he gets in, his agenda is to do in the state what he's already done in LA. Well, why does he want to shut down medical pot stores?
Starting point is 00:29:43 Ideologically, who knows what he's invested in? Who knows what his reality is from? It's whoever is a part of his campaign. It's all part of his life. Who knows who really he's loyal to in that sense? But there's something. There's some campaign contributions. There's something.
Starting point is 00:29:58 There's something going on. I would love to be able to follow the money forensically and see exactly what changes these people. Because in some ways, there's got to be strengths pulling them. And it's not cheap to run a campaign in the state of California. You need to get on the side of people with a lot of money. Well, that's where that Meg Whitman chick is strange. And hot people don't have a lot of collected money. That Meg Whitman chick, she is very, very rich.
Starting point is 00:30:18 And what was her position in eBay? She had something to do with eBay. She, I thought, founded. Not founded. She was the one that was brought in and brought them from being a very small company to a very large company. She helped organize them, and she rode their growth curve. Okay, so she made a ton of money off eBay, and now she wants to be the governor, and she's spending how much money to do this? She's already spent over $100 million of her own money to become governor.
Starting point is 00:30:40 $100 million for a job that pays $200,000 a year? Google it, people. How much does it pay? It pays nothing. And this is the scary part. It's like, what do you think she's going to accomplish
Starting point is 00:30:50 with this $100 million influence? What is she doing this for? It's a testament to their ego. You know? It's building a big, you know. Why did Arnold do it, too? Did you just turn my volume down? No.
Starting point is 00:31:00 This is the part that kind of bothers me. This is more of what we've had for a long time. It's just that now we're looking at it and we're grossed out by it. But don't think before newspapers and internet carried the word that robber barons weren't running politics going back to the 30s and 40s and 50s. And when I say they, I don't mean to sound like some conspiracy nut. I mean to sound like somebody that's realistic about the fact that alcohol got together after Prohibition and went, yo, who's our competition?
Starting point is 00:31:24 Oh, these kids are smoking this loco weed. And then we should go after that. Let's look at it this way. But that's true. Okay, okay. This Meg Whitman woman, she is obviously very wealthy. So it's going to be very difficult to buy a person who's very wealthy. She's very wealthy.
Starting point is 00:31:38 So why would this very wealthy person want to stop medical marijuana in California? Because that is what she wants to do. What would be her motivation? Because it would not be financial, right? She doesn't need the money. She's spending $100 million to become governor. You don't think that alcohol companies for sure are not giving her $100 million to kill weed.
Starting point is 00:31:55 When you have that much money, Joe, it isn't sitting in a locker at the edge of your bed. It's sitting in investments. And I'd love to know what her portfolio is vested in because she has people that are actually standing there saying, this is what I'll advise you to do. And anybody that's advising somebody that has literally hundreds of millions of dollars vested away is going to say, listen, this initiative is bad for your liquor investments. It's bad for your pharmaceutical investments.
Starting point is 00:32:16 It's bad for your chemical investments. It's purely a financial decision on her part. I think a lot of why we're dealing with prohibition and why we're dealing with people that are against it is because of the financial connections they have. And the more wealthy they are, the more people lean against them. How few, in a sense, do we have of you? Because here you are a guy that made it in TV, five years in news radio, five plus years on Fear Factor. You have a career. You have advisors around you saying, listen, Joe, if you do stupid stuff, it's going to knock at you the big jobs. It'll pay a lot of money. And then I'm not going to make money. So are those persons going to advise you to go be the activist that you've become? Or are they going to say, bro, really? Because I know that a lot of
Starting point is 00:32:53 other actors have to stop and think, man, I won't get hired if I start getting all radical. And that's what they really believe. So they tow the line. You are so rare because you haven't towed the line. You said, fuck it. I'd rather be happy and be myself than be some slave to a corporate dictation. Yeah, well, you don't have to do it that way. Those guys are pussies. A lot of them are. That's really what it is. But when I look at it.
Starting point is 00:33:14 You can be yourself as long as you're a nice person. But how few Woody Harrelsons and Joe Rogans do we have speaking up for the right reasons? Well, you know what? A lot of people have families and they want to play it safe, and they feel conservative, and they get paranoid, and they don't trust in the greater good of humanity and people's ability to see what they're seeing. They don't have faith in their ability to express themselves so that people understand the point of view that they have
Starting point is 00:33:37 and where they're coming from. I have confidence in my ability to express myself. And you do it for us all in a way that... Well, I think it's important for everybody. I think everybody should and would do it. If you're a rational thinking person, why would you live your life pretending to be something other than who you are?
Starting point is 00:33:52 You know, why would you not want people to know about something that's radically changed the way you look at the world? Why would you not want to? Why, because fucking Meg Whitman says it's bad? Look at that bitch. Get the fuck out of here. Does she quit or get fired from eBay?
Starting point is 00:34:04 I don't know. She's a woman who wants to be in control of things. That's always freaky to me. I don't need a mom. Isn't eBay, 75% of eBay's audience stone people in the middle of the night buying shit? She should know her audience. I don't know. She probably pulled a Sarah Palin.
Starting point is 00:34:17 She probably got fired. For more lucrative investments. It's creepy, man. Women that want to run shit creep me out. I know it sounds gross, but it's totally true. No, it shouldn't sound gross. Why? Hillary Clinton,
Starting point is 00:34:28 she doesn't creep you out? She is a creeper. Creeps me the fuck out. Right. Condoleezza Rice, if Condoleezza Rice was running things, don't you think
Starting point is 00:34:35 you'd freak the fuck out? Way creepy. But there's a lot of creepy guys. Dick Cheney creeps me out. Right, they're creepy too. I'm not saying I want guys running shit, but at least they've been
Starting point is 00:34:42 doing that forever. When a chick wants to hop in there and compete with the men, I'm like, what are you crazy, bitch? What are you doing? You're not balanced. You ain't no fucking yogi. You're not going to see through the maze. You're fucking just as crazy as the men, if not crazier, because you're a woman. And because they're going to prove that they're tougher than the men they're replacing.
Starting point is 00:35:00 I was terrified. That scares me. There was a moment where Hillary Clinton was running for president where I was thinking, you know what? She's going to win. What if she wins and she gets into a position where one of these crazy fucks from another country tests her because she's a woman? I mean, assuming that political power is real and that the president really has any say and that anybody in another country really does pay attention to him, that it's not this big gigantic bilderberger meeting group assuming that a president is real could you imagine what putin would do if he sat across from fucking hillary clinton or sal erpalin at a at some sort of negotiations it's horrible he would crush them isn't a mock them he would just he would well
Starting point is 00:35:41 because most cultures put their most intellectually capable people in power and not their best idiots, their class clowns. It's not that men should be running shit. It's not. It's the most capable people. I think the idea of the alpha, the idea of having a leader is fucking ridiculous. I think it's some archaic shit that we have to figure a new way around. So I'm not saying that men should be running shit. I totally agree with that.
Starting point is 00:36:05 But I'm saying that anybody who's a woman that wants to run shit, that's kind of crazy. You don't even have a dick. Why are you trying to control everything? What are you doing? Why are you trying to fucking grab the reins? I don't know. What are you doing? I don't want to be president.
Starting point is 00:36:16 Okay, I don't want to be a leader. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I am better than a woman who would be doing the job. I'm saying when I see a woman who wants to be a leader, I the man wanting to be a leader it makes sense to me even if i don't believe in it or agree with it i understand it when i see a woman that's want to do it i'm like look at that crazy bitch that's what i think i think you want to be the king of the world and you're a chick whoa you know there's an but yet iceland's not in wars and they had a female president it's frozen i was gonna i was starting to think of all the female leaders
Starting point is 00:36:46 around the world. I'm like, there's a lot. It's totally sexist. A whole lot of queen beatrices. Don't get me wrong, but I don't think anybody should be a leader. I think the whole idea is based on some leftover fucking shit from back when we were a tribe of
Starting point is 00:37:01 200 monkey people and we needed a leader to protect us from the other monkey people who wanted to rape our women and take our food. I mean, that's what it is. The idea that one person can represent the whole country like a president, I don't give a fuck if he has a cabinet.
Starting point is 00:37:15 I don't give a... The idea that there's a one guy that stands there and, ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States. You know, like, come on. He's just a voice, though. But it's even the voice, even the figurehead, even the representative. It's a descendant of royalty.
Starting point is 00:37:26 It certainly is. It's an avatar. The whole idea is ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. But they created our whole structure in America to compete against what they were fighting.
Starting point is 00:37:34 And then they became that and worse. And they became way worse. Right. Way worse. It's beautiful. I love this. I'm going to hear so much shit
Starting point is 00:37:42 from my female friends. Well, you don't think women should be running things? What does that mean? You think men do it better? Maybe men have been doing it wrong for so long. Maybe it would be good for a woman to give it a try.
Starting point is 00:37:55 You're definitely comfortable in your relationship, John. That's not a worldly thing to say if she's a woman. What do you mean? Meaning, like, I would never. You know what I mean? I'm not going to be like, yeah, fuck, women should be presidents. You know, right now I'm like, yeah. What was his name, John Bobbitt? Women should totally be presidents. What are you mean? Meaning, like, I would never, you know what I mean? I'm not going to be like, yeah, fuck, women should be presidents. You know, right now I'm like, yeah. What was his name, John Bobbitt?
Starting point is 00:38:07 Women should totally be presidents. What are you talking about? He's saying he's afraid to get his dick cut off when he goes home, and he's obviously saying you're not. No, bro, what he's saying is, you misread. He's saying is he's trying to pretend to be someone different, so he's attracting some females. Well, I'm not going to start bashing the female race right now. That's what it is. I'm not bashing the female's race.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Listen, most women. Oh, my God. No, but females race. Okay female race. Listen, most women... That's how women take that. Well, the women that take that are cunts. Listen, I'm not bashing the female race because I'm not bashing the male race that doesn't want to be president.
Starting point is 00:38:34 Most of the male race doesn't want to be president. You don't want to be president. It's not a male thing. It's a leader thing. But what I'm saying is I understand the creepy, fuck, control freak men. I understand that instinct. But when I see a chick that wants to rock that,
Starting point is 00:38:46 I go, what's going on there? You see Sarah Palin? I guess one way Sarah Palin is just this dummy that got stuck into a nice position and she's trying to make some money. I mean, that's really what it is. But after a while, it's not that anymore. After a while, it's like,
Starting point is 00:38:59 well, you're the figurehead for the retard movement and you're just like them and you got a microphone on you and there's a spotlight on you. And oh, now you're a fucking problem because you never were supposed to get to this point and somehow you've artificially been inserted into the public consciousness with no merit and now all the retards go just like me and they rise up and start these fucking tea party rallies have you watched any of that shit
Starting point is 00:39:22 they're crazy god damn insane and glenn Beck is just making gold underwear and gold socks and diamond-covered fucking cars. And that guy must be just scraping it in with rakes. He's so obviously full of shit, too. It's like his game only works on the dumb. But there's so many dumb people. It's a very effective tactic. Him and her together, man. They scare the fuck out of me.
Starting point is 00:39:45 Double dumb. Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, if they combine forces like they did at that tea party meeting. and it was the first president. Dude, they could run for president, man. That's real shit. I hope the first president's
Starting point is 00:39:55 a black lady with a lisp that's totally a lesbian. I hope it's every single horrible thing that's wrong with banning gay marriage, women presidents. I hope it's all combined into one like super president that just pisses off everybody. I hope it's an alien,
Starting point is 00:40:14 an alien. I hope an alien wins in disguise of a human being and then tells everybody now that we have a diplomat, we'd like to, now that I'm in place and I'm running shit, bitches need to sit the fuck down. We've been thinking about exterminating you fucks for about 50 years now.
Starting point is 00:40:29 I thought your concept of us being mold was really accurate. It is a giant life form. It's a giant life form on a superorganism. That's what the human race is. The human race is on Earth. Earth is a life form. It is a superorganism. We don't think of planets that support life
Starting point is 00:40:44 as a life form because it's an super organism. We don't think of planets that support life as a life form because it's an environment where life grows, but I'm not so sure about that. If you look at lava and the center and the magnetic core and you look at the magnetosphere and the atmosphere, this is not just a place where life is. It's almost like a system. It's alive and we're in there.
Starting point is 00:41:01 It might be conscious. We don't know what's conscious, man. We're guessing. We assume that conscious means that it can talk like us and move like us, but we don't know. There's a lot of evidence that there might be something going on inside trees, some sort of a fucking reaction that trees and plants have to people. Well, think of cellular intelligence. And that's really where we've always thought, oh, it's in our brain. And then there's this myth that we don't even use our own brain, all of our brain.
Starting point is 00:41:27 And it's like, really? How many of us – are you stupid that you believe that your whole body is not actually shooting at all marks right now? And I think that our capability of intelligence is really, really deep. Well, that's a metaphor, I think, for wasted potential. People have this idea that we're only using 10% of our brains if we just really concentrate. No one even knows what that means.
Starting point is 00:41:48 What does that mean you're only using 10% of your brain? What's going on with the other 90% of your brain? I think it's useful. Well, you know how we know how the brain works?
Starting point is 00:41:55 When we blow holes in parts of the brain, we shoot people in parts of their head and then we go, oh, he can't see anymore. I guess that's the part where you see out of.
Starting point is 00:42:02 It is. Oh, we drill a hole here and all of a sudden he's calm. Well, I guess this is the part that makes him aggressive. We'll just drill a hole in that bitch. That was the lobotomy. That's what they did. When people got a little nutty, they go, look, what do you want to do? You want to kill him? You want to drill a fucking hole in his head and see if we can fix him? One flew over the cuckoo's
Starting point is 00:42:18 nest. Yeah, it went too far. Yeah, they would fix people by drilling holes in their head. Hollaback. Hollaback, y'all. Do you know. You know, there's a whole group of humans that voluntarily put holes in their head. And they believe that it alleviates pressure and gives them euphoria. And that the pressure of the growing brain trapped inside the skull causes headaches and all sorts of problems. And in Africa, there's fucking cultures that have done this where they literally, they cut the entire skull. I posted it on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:42:48 See if you can find it. I mean, I don't know what you would look under. There's a term for it. There's a term for it for cutting holes in someone's head. Where they call, like, shit, I'm fucking up here. Because there's an actual term for it.
Starting point is 00:43:05 But people do it on purpose. It's like, it's a... See if you can find that, man. But people are crazy. Voluntary holes in the head. Tree panning? Yes! Tree panning.
Starting point is 00:43:12 T-R-E-P-A-N-I-N-G. It's often where you leave pressure beneath a surface, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, and there's a video of these African dudes where they do it with no anesthesia and they do it with these fucking stone tools. They like strip
Starting point is 00:43:28 away your fucking scalp and cut out your bone. They don't just do it once. They do it as many as 20 times. In a life? Yeah, and they fuck their brains up. Not only that, they have to wear hats from then on because their brain is exposed. There's like
Starting point is 00:43:44 a canoe-shaped cutout on the top of their fucking skull. Dr. John Clark was the first one to do it in 1664. And he taught the Africans how to do it? That's what they're saying, U.S. I'm sorry, U.S. U.S. American. Well, who knows?
Starting point is 00:43:58 It might have been just like religion. We brought Christianity over to Africa. It's just his first physician to perform it in the US. And he did it as alleviating pressure on someone? Yeah. Whoa. It's like, if you can think about it, someone's out there doing it, man.
Starting point is 00:44:14 You've seen those women in Surrey, is that where it is in Africa, where they cut their lip and stick a plate in it? Have you seen that shit? No. You've never seen the plates in the lower lips? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know the theory.
Starting point is 00:44:27 I didn't know the name. It's the most insane thing. It's not just weird. The bigger the plate, the more cows they're worth when they get married. So, like, say, if you want to marry my daughter,
Starting point is 00:44:37 okay, and she's got a giant-ass fucking plate, I'm like, bitch, that's a 50-cow plate. You've got to come strong, son. Right. So, dudes would have to
Starting point is 00:44:44 give up a herd because she's willing to carry to come strong, son. Right. So dudes would have to give up. Give me a herd. They have to give up a herd because she's willing to carry around this giant plate in her lips. What else is she willing to carry around? They bang their teeth out, too. They have to bang their lower teeth out
Starting point is 00:44:54 because the plate sits there and you can't get a full plate in there if you have the lower teeth. So when the plate starts getting big, they have to smash their teeth out. You know what blowjobs feel like? How much does Africa suck that people are willing to do that?
Starting point is 00:45:10 You're willing to put plates in your lips and cut holes in your head. The neck thing, where they stretch the neck out. It's all Africa. That's fucking crazy. They must be so freaked out that they got stuck in Africa.
Starting point is 00:45:18 They're like, look, we're going to make this interesting. Right. We are stuck running from hyenas and getting eaten by crocodiles and shit we're gonna have to stretch our necks out let's make our necks real big whoa who knows why they do these things well how about those heads they found in peru where they stretch their head out gigantic like a big alien head they they like did it to like a huge percentage of the population
Starting point is 00:45:40 they put boards on their heads and tied them down and literally extended their head. People were thinking, well, is this to emulate something? Is it to emulate the gods? All the Anunnaki people? See? This is evidence. They were doing this to try to emulate. Maybe not. Because look at these Africans that are cutting the fucking holes in their lip and sticking plates in there. The dudes cutting the holes in their
Starting point is 00:46:00 heads and letting the air out. They're not emulating anything. They're just practicing medicine. They're fucking nuts, man. nuts man people are nuts well they're still kind of nuts they're trolling everyone you know it's freaky the disease i had as a child i found out in the mid 80s they stopped treating aggressively that like more when i was in the 70s i was more a victim of fucking chemotherapy and elective surgeries or not elective surgeries but surgeries that weren't needed and radiation than i was of the actual disease because they were practicing what yeah you know what's fucked up too is the x in histiocytosis x meant that the ethology of the disease was unknown and when i
Starting point is 00:46:35 first asked an adult you know where did my disease come from and they went we don't know and i was like wait a minute who's we you and me or like we? So what exactly is the disease? Histio what? It's like an overactive immune system. Say the name again? It's histiocytosis X. And it's an overactive immune system? Right. Like I would have too many white blood cells, and they would like in a sense accumulate,
Starting point is 00:46:56 if you will. And usually it was in like bone marrow and areas like that, and it creates like blowouts. So like my spine, it blew out. My arm, it blew out. My hip, it blew out. Would it get better if you got sick? What do you mean sick? You got a cold.
Starting point is 00:47:08 No. Well, if your right bowels are there to... Right. No, no, no. Think... No. Fix yourself by being around people who are sneezing all the time. But what's funny is I don't really ever get sick.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Either I have problems where, like, obviously it was overgrowing, you know, in marrows and stuff, or I'm always healthy. I went through prison five years. I didn't get a cold. Whoa. Yeah, and that's a germ place, let me tell you. You should start licking toilets and stuff. I don't like touching doors and shit, though.
Starting point is 00:47:37 I'm not a germaphobe, but I actually am careful. People are gross. Yeah. People are nose-picking, ball-scratching, ass-fucking-wiping, just disgusting fucking creatures. Which is why I always recommend you use a tissue from the bathroom when you open the door to any public restroom.
Starting point is 00:47:52 I kick mine open like a man. Not if you've got to pull it, but with a man. What are you going to do if you have to twist it and pull it? Usually you do, actually. You use a piece of towel. There's ways you can protect yourself. And if we had hemp, we could be using hemp towel, man. You just have to clean it, man.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Get some hemp flashlights. Which is why we have to vote yes on 19. Yeah, vote yes on 19. It's very important. And if you're one of those people out there that goes, man, potheads are fucking annoying. Unfortunately, there's a lot of potheads that are annoying. Most potheads are just like most people.
Starting point is 00:48:25 Yeah, like most people. A good percentage of people are annoying. And the reason being is because we do not have a direction book on how to properly live a healthy life, a healthy, fun, satisfying life. We live our lives based on myths and bullshit, TV shows and movies, and we have this distorted perception
Starting point is 00:48:43 of what this fucking world is all about. So most people, especially with the situation that we have now, the way our world is set up, it's so easy for a moron to just drift through and be taken care of every step of the way, and yet have opinions, and yet be able to vote. George Bush Jr. Well, Sarah Palin, man. That's way scarier than
Starting point is 00:48:59 him. Gary Coleman. At least he was a man. Wow. That's right, I said it. Gary Coleman. I don't give a fuck. Gary Coleman, we can vote. Angry man. Whoa. That's right, I said it. Gary Coleman. I don't give a fuck. Gary Coleman. Gary Coleman would vote. Yeah. Angry as fuck. I'd been angry too
Starting point is 00:49:09 after his whole bad life. Yeah. No, I'm kidding. The saddest part of his life was when he was in the hospital dead, dying, and his fucking crazy cunt ex-wife takes a picture
Starting point is 00:49:19 and sells it to him all strapped up with pipes and shit dying in bed and she's right next to him with his like dead... She with his, like, dead... She did that? Yeah, dead fucking rubber face. Just, like, didn't have any emotion in her eyes, nothing.
Starting point is 00:49:32 Like, yep, here he is. He's dead, and this is me. I'm next to the dead guy. That's horrible. Oh, it's gross. She probably has that shit on, like, mouse pads. I'm pretty sure she... Whoa.
Starting point is 00:49:41 I've never seen that. I did not know she did that. Yeah, it's pretty dark, dude. I'm learning. I'm learning. Well, you got it saved, even, huh? I think I should. Whoa. I've never seen that. I did not know she did that. Yeah, it's pretty dark. I'm learning. I'm learning. Well, you got it saved even, huh? I think I should. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Usually I do. You know, I can't thank you enough for coming out and supporting Prop 19, man. Well, dude, you know I enjoy the marijuana. So, of course, I've got to support Prop 19. You know, a lot of people have been really confused on what this really does, man. And, you know, that's been a big problem for us. That's what I was talking about when I was saying most people. You look at potheads
Starting point is 00:50:06 and you think they're annoying. Right. Really, I'm finding them annoying right now because I can't believe all these people I was working around that I thought was working
Starting point is 00:50:13 towards a common goal are now working against it. Because a lot of people are against Prop 19. That's what you're saying? A lot of people are against Prop 19 not for the right reasons either.
Starting point is 00:50:22 For financial reasons. Financial reasons or just inaccuracies. That's how much most hippies are though. Every time I was hanging out with hippies they were trying to make money like making profits. There's a lot of non-hippies
Starting point is 00:50:35 that are just commercially motivated. There's a bunch of people that have just got in this industry in the last few years since 420 passed and allowed for clubs. They're trying to make money and right now they think think, oh, no, you're going to change this, and we like this, so please don't change this. And that is really what we're up against. You're right.
Starting point is 00:50:53 When it comes from the enemy within, if you will. Yeah, there's a lot of people that aren't hippies. They're opportunists. They are. I know a bunch of people that are in the business. The idealists. Oh. Yeah, the people that own dispensaries, they're doing it purely for profit. Some. a lot of good ones yeah you know berkeley they're all good harborside they're
Starting point is 00:51:09 all good there's a lot of good ones provide something that's good marijuana is good but there's a lot of people that you wouldn't expect they're not like old dudes with gray hair and ponytails you're right they're young dudes it looks like they're right fucking doing squats right well prop 19 is going to make it so these people aren't having to get away with it it's they're going to be able to service their neighbors who have a right to have pot. And everybody in the state is going to have a right to grow pot. And that's going to be a big, big deal. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:32 So all these people that are selling it, the shit's going to go under because no one's going to need to buy it. You can just grow your own. It's so easy. Well, you're going to see the prices drop, thankfully. Radically. Radically. And profits are going to drop.
Starting point is 00:51:43 And right now, it's the liquor companies. It's the big drug cartels. are the people that i'd be more than willing to pay exactly what i'm paying right now just keep making it just as good i'll pay just as much there's always going to be thousand dollar bottles of wine you know and there's going to be people that do things with a high quality and grandma could grow better pot than me for instance and you'll want grandma's pot over mine i want that's reality bulk like cheetos i want it to see like piles of it just be like throwing joints out my window the only thing about that is that it doesn't it doesn't really lend itself for quality with quantity because when you have large amounts of it you don't have in a sense is is good equality right right now in smaller batches. Now let's talk about one thing for the non-smoking,
Starting point is 00:52:27 non-marijuana smoking amongst us. This is one of the things that really fascinated me the most when I first found out about marijuana. When I first, when I was a kid, I thought marijuana was bad for you, it made you stupid, all these different things. But when I first started smoking weed, the thing that fascinated me the most was that there are two completely different strains that have very different effects. They're not different
Starting point is 00:52:49 strains. Okay, let me break this down. Can I say this right now? There's a lot of confusion in this. Before I went to prison, a friend of mine, he wrote Marijuana Botany, and he later wrote the book Hashish, been revised. His name is Robert Carnal-Clock. He's forgotten more about cannabis than I've had an opportunity to learn and um while i was in prison these scientists actually looked at the specimens of sativa and indica and sativa and indica were questions so if i walked up to you with seeds joe it would actually be does this make clothing and paper and all this stuff or is it like india because there's if you look up the word indica names indica means of or like India.
Starting point is 00:53:31 So when you go to India, all of the cannabis that's grown there is indica because it's in India. But when you go there, you'll find tropical varieties down by Goa and northern varieties up by the area that's now Pakistan and Hindu Kush. That is the entire range of cannabis, and it's all indica. The history lesson is interesting interesting but for everyone today who wants pot there's two different effects indica makes you sleepy and it makes you couch weed it makes you what a lot of people think of as a stoner sativa is a totally different experience and it makes you much more introspective it makes you start looking at fucking telescopes and space documentaries so let me let me say it's not a strain, what should we call it? Well, it's an equatorial variety.
Starting point is 00:54:07 It's from near the equator. Let me break this down. There's two different effects, though, correct? It is. I want people who are not pot smokers to understand this. When you go into these deep historical... It's not, but think of it like this. In the 60s and 70s, all the pot that was coming into America
Starting point is 00:54:22 was like Acapulco Gold, Michoacan, Maui Waui, Jamaican. All of these strains were from near the equator. Tropical. They made you happy, horny, well-organized, wanting to do things like protest. And then the hippies went to Afghanistan. They found this short, fat-leaved plant that they thought was indica, and they started mixing it with all these tropical varieties like Maui waui and tie stick and stuff and they shortened the time it takes to flower cannabis and they picked varieties that yielded the most amount of pot because it was the reason being is that the ones that were equatorial the ones that were growing on the equator needed a longer cycle of sun because it's right because they're in a 12 12
Starting point is 00:55:00 and those are the ones that have the different psychoactive effect. The ones that come in contact more with the sun are the ones that make you... Not so much more with the sun. It's just the varieties that develop near and around the equator. Where there was a longer cycle. Are more, in a sense, psycho... So to be grown in America, they have to be grown indoors. Yep. And then what happened is the hippies, in a sense, started breeding this Afghan with all of their tropical varieties.
Starting point is 00:55:23 And through the 80s, we kind of developed this one- hit wonder pot that took away all that good energy and took away all that and now for me i always smoke haze i i like super silver haze and then a five by people who don't understand what you're saying haze means sativa in a sense it does in the sense our terminology of sativa but sativa really means most useful okay but what the way okay that's true but what's that's not how it's used in dispensaries they're changing indica and sativa is how it's used sativa is the heady more you know trippy space weed and indica is couch high energy my whole point in the beginning was i did not know there was two different types of pot i thought pot was pot and then all pot had a similar effect some pot may be stronger than other pot, but it's basically
Starting point is 00:56:06 all pot. You're going to smoke pot. You'll either get really high or what, but it's not the same. It's not even remotely the same. There are two different experiences. And almost everyone is used to indica because indica is the easiest shit to grow. Indica is the shit that you're getting if you're getting it from some dudes are coming down from, you know,
Starting point is 00:56:22 they're in Canada growing in the fucking forest. It grows the fastest and yields the most. And now that we're getting through prohibition, we'll see these varieties that take longer and yield less, but have a profoundly different effect on our energy and our thinking and our motivation. Exactly. So how is it wrong, what I was saying? Well, it's not sativa. Everybody's calling it sativa, but sativa really means hemp. It's Indo-European hemp varieties. Right, but we've decided names though but everyone universally in the pot community they're looking at two different things
Starting point is 00:56:50 indica and sativa that's what they called it right that's just universally in the pot community they're all just a noise you make with your mouth to describe something absolutely okay we're not going to call it sativa and indica well it's going to confuse the fuck out of people that's what it is no no no right now we look we look what are we going to call it Sativa and Indica? Well, it's going to confuse the fuck out of people. That's what it is. No, no, no, no, no. Right now, we look. What are we going to call it? In all reality, California is not that developed. High weed and couch weed? What are we going to call it?
Starting point is 00:57:09 Well, no. We'll call it names like Arrowhead or Avion or whatever we're calling that water at the time. We don't really go, give me a bottle of water when we're sitting in a five-star restaurant. We say, do you have Avion or do you have – No, I say bottled water. What am I, a fucking water connoisseur? I just want water. Okay. Now trip on this.
Starting point is 00:57:26 The same way right now you walk up to a weed counter, it's almost like the same thing. Because you can't make distinguishes like you do liquor. And when you walk up to a bar, you know the difference between wine and whiskey. And if somebody, you order whiskey and they hand you wine, you're going to be like, yo, douchebag, this isn't what I asked for. Right, but when I go to the pot store, I say, hey, where's your sativas? Oh, we got Jack Cleaner, we got Trainwreck. All right or give me some of that train wreck yeah and then that's what we do but technically all drug varieties are indica what no there's two different types though when you go to indica when you go to india and you get indica and it's from india suck my dick there's two
Starting point is 00:57:59 different experiences we've broken this down for people who don't know look practical knowledge this is very important What all he's saying is all nonsense. There's two different experiences. There's the couch weed and there's the weed that makes you think about the universe and want to be creative. So that's sativa. That's what they call it. The indica shit is OG Kush.
Starting point is 00:58:18 You know, I'm going to take a nap and eat Cheetos all day. That's what they're selling it as. OG grows very much like a sativa, just so you know. It's long and leggy and grows tall and has small buds. I hate to break that. It's a more potent version of the indica. But you want to know what's weird?
Starting point is 00:58:33 My haze, my sativa, you're calling it, came back at 23.7 THC and my OG Kush indica, you're calling it, came back at 20.6. There was a 3.1 difference in THC. Right, but aren't there a bunch of different things cannabinoids other than thc that make up the high it's not just thc well actually i think that um there was a doctor in an institute by the way we should point out that todd knows
Starting point is 00:58:53 shit where's your book before we go any further like who's this guy talking all this shit about weed well there was a doctor at the faggot what does he know this is what he knows bitch he's got a book how to grow Grow Medical Marijuana. You're out of Europe. Oh, I'm right here. No, no, no. I came back. It's on a delay.
Starting point is 00:59:09 This is a book, How to Grow Medical Marijuana. And it's not in print right now, right? No. To get it, you go to Amazon.com and maybe get a used copy. Yes. You probably do that, right? Yeah. My next book, Grow Medicine, is going to come out.
Starting point is 00:59:21 And I'm going to be talking about strain-specific growing. Yeah, you could write a lot of books on growing weed. It's very complex, isn't it? It is. And there's a lot of differences. When people try to say, oh, generalize this how you grow pot, you can tell they've never grown pot. Because pot is very different to grow. I mean, go ahead. I was going to say, this is a question I
Starting point is 00:59:37 need answered because I do not understand it. Now, there's a female plant and a male plant. And you need the female plant is where the medicine comes from, where weed comes from. There are psychoactive properties in both. Right, but they become one or the other. You have to get the males out. Explain what happens, how it pollinates.
Starting point is 00:59:55 Males are sexed much like men. In an irony, you'll find funny. Is that normal with other plants, by the way? Some plants are either dioecious or have both sexes on one plant. Cannabis actually can be both, because it does hermaphrodite and sometimes spews on itself. So when you get a male, you gotta get it out of there. Right. Males actually create their pollen sacs
Starting point is 01:00:14 faster than the females actually develop their buds. And in hemp, for instance, the males pollinate and then die off early. And the Roman Catholic Church miscategorized the male and female plants, even though the female had the seeds, and even though the male blew the pollen, they didn't like that the male died
Starting point is 01:00:30 off early, so they called the male the female and the female the male. Yeah, they were heavy into their dogma, you know? Can't rattle their cage. That's fascinating. So how do you tell? So if you're growing, say if you're growing a bunch of weed plants, you have to keep an eye on them
Starting point is 01:00:46 bitches because if they all—they're all males. It's like certain leaves, like little tiny like ball leaves. It's different, right? It's not leaves. What they do is they develop these little—they develop these little male pollen sacs, if you will, and what they do is they come off the flower different. They come off the plant and they kind of—they hang like little ball sacs and they open up and then the pollen—this is a male flower open,
Starting point is 01:01:06 the pollen is carried to the, if you've ever seen little red hairs on your pot, those are the sex glands. And they are what the pollen attracts to. They don't get you higher at all. What, the red? Yeah, the red hair doesn't get you higher at all. Well, the red hair doesn't have crystals on it.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Right. You know, they just have these non-glenular trichomes. It looks cool though. So you get some weed and you're like, look at the red hair. But that red hair skunk is not what you want. Yeah, in looks cool, though. So you get some weed and you're like, look at that red-haired skunk. It doesn't matter. It's not what you want. That's funny because it's so pretty.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Well, when that male pollen hits those pistils, what it does is it causes that to fertilize and the seed grows in that little pod. And if she doesn't get fertilized, that pod just swells and swells and swells and the resin develops deeper. That's why we grow seedless cannabis because it's tricking the female
Starting point is 01:01:43 into really producing a lot of resins and she's waiting, waiting to be fertilized and it never comes. So it makes it more potent? Well, potency I think is an interesting conversation. There was a doctor at the Institute of Medicine who got up one day and he said, I gave my patients 10 milligrams THC and they had a known effect. And then I gave them 10 milligrams THC and one milligram CBN, and it doubled the effective dose. And I shot my hand up and I said, hey, would that replicate in nature? And he said, I think it would. And when I put my hand down, my publisher said, what did you two geeks just ask each other? And I said, basically, he told me to breed hemp in with my drug varieties, because CBN, for instance, is a chemical that's mostly found in hemp.
Starting point is 01:02:23 And as we have bred away from the characteristics of these equatorial varieties that are more hemp-like, we have actually bred more towards the drug varieties, and we've lowered the chemical of CBN down while raising THC up with less of an effective rate. So now we have THC levels over 20% that don't hit us as hard as i believe is if we had a little bit of cbn mixed in with it how many different cannabinoids are there inside a marijuana plant um well there are over 400 uh chemicals created by the cannabis plant and that's the definition of a cannabinoid and uh the reality is is that 60 of them are known to be therapeutic your shit's vibrate it's okay we'll ignore it yeah it's coming through the microphone and uh and what's going to happen is that as science understands these elements of it
Starting point is 01:03:08 more then they'll be able to better direct what the different chemicals and also terpenes because terpenes are these volatile oils that are on the bud and what happens is they're kind of steamed off when it's dried so if anybody's ever picked up a cannabis flower and it had good body and you squished it and it still had moisture and you could smell it was real strong, those terpenes were intact. And that has a psychoactive effect as well. And a synergistic psychoactive effect with the chemicals inside. So drying the weed is not good. It's good.
Starting point is 01:03:35 Over-drying it, bad. Joey Diaz likes to take his weed and put it on the heater. I put that shit on the heater. You know what I do? It's just easy to make joints. I put that shit on the windowsill and let it dry out. Yeah. Perfect. Sometimes I put it on top the windowsill and let it dry out. Yeah. Sometimes I put it on top of the TV.
Starting point is 01:03:48 Put it on top of his TV. But the reality is because a lot of what he's getting is people that are hurrying to market and they sell pot that's not dry and not cured. The best cannabis is actually not just dried but cured and then stored for about three months. What? And then the oil's set up and they're the smoothest. Right. Yes.
Starting point is 01:04:04 And then there's a window of when those cannabinoids actually keep themselves, which is between three months and nine months. So after nine months, the weeds smell good? And then after nine months, your weed starts to degrade, chemically decompose in a sense, yes. So old weeds, whack. What about if you cook with it? Different.
Starting point is 01:04:17 How about different? What if you cook with it? What if you had like an old chocolate bar, an old weed chocolate bar? How long does that last? If you have an old weed chocolate bar older than nine months... And the dairy product in it would be moldy, and you wouldn't want to eat it anyway. You would have other issues with chocolate. Chocolate bars?
Starting point is 01:04:30 Even if you went with dark chocolate. They're wrapped up. Well, not the kind that the hippies make, probably. I agree. Ain't no tainted, you know. I have some of those old fucking Nestle's Quick bars that they made with weed. You know, a lot of why i don't eat cannabis that's provided to me by people is because i don't know the conditions in which it's made and i don't
Starting point is 01:04:49 trust their you know the way they handled it and stuff and on yeah not just measuring because you don't know how strong it's going to be interestingly enough you know in holland um like hash bonbons and brownies are considered a hard drug totally verboten yeah you can be 16 and go into a dutch coffee shop buy hash on your way to high school, and you're cool. But you can't buy brownies. This is something that you told me about first. You're the first person to tell me about 11-hydroxy, that eating weed. Eating weed.
Starting point is 01:05:13 When you eat weed, it goes through your liver and kidneys, and it actually turns a chemical process, and it turns the psychoactive chemical THC into another chemical called 11-hydroxy metabolite. And that 11-hydroxy is two to five times more psychoactive than the cannabis. Actually, it's three to five times was the estimate I saw out of the University of Mississippi. And you don't get THCV,
Starting point is 01:05:36 I mean 11-hydroxy, in your bloodstream when you smoke cannabis. It's such a different experience. And you and I were talking about it one night. I don't remember what the context of the conversation was, but it was probably I ate something that was just too fucking strong. And you and I were talking about it one night. I don't remember what the context of the conversation was, but it was probably I ate something that was just too fucking strong, and you had to explain it. So many people have had it, and they're like,
Starting point is 01:05:52 I'm on acid or something. It does not feel like pot. And you're not used to it because when you smoke pot, you're only used to dealing with THC in your bloodstream and not 11-hydroxy. So different, man. There's nothing. Ari Shafir, we were on a plane the other day.
Starting point is 01:06:06 We were flying to Austin, Texas, and Ari ate a cookie in his car on the way to the airport, and then he got there. It takes an hour and 20 minutes or so to kick in. He got there. We were on the plane, on the tarmac, and he was seriously thinking about telling them they had to let him off the plane.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Because he was that high? He was that high. I didn't know until we landed. Some model did that the other day I saw on the news. Well, you was that high? He was that high. I didn't know until we landed. Some model did that the other day. I saw him. Really? Well, you know,
Starting point is 01:06:28 Dave Chappelle did that too. Dave Chappelle had a panic moment on a plane. I got to get off. It might have been that, you know? That's one of those things that you wonder
Starting point is 01:06:34 if you really want to go with it though. What if you get off the plane and the fucking thing crashes? You'd be like, thank you, baby Jesus. I'm now religious. No, it would be a moment,
Starting point is 01:06:42 you know? I guess. We got your hemp parachutes. High as fuck, son. That's what saved George Bush's grandfather Yeah right And the first draft of the Declaration of Independence Was drafted on hemp This was an integral part of our history And this is why I'm trying to convince people
Starting point is 01:06:59 They need it back They had no other options Canvas was the only thing they had There was no cotton gin when she knitted the first American flag. We only need to look at our history's timetable to realize what we were using before the invention of some of these things. This is all lost information, ladies and gentlemen. And if you want to find out more about this, if you're really fascinated, go pick up this book, The Emperor Wears No Clothes. It's the one that, as we said, was written by our late friend Jack Herrer.
Starting point is 01:07:26 Herrer is how you say it, right? Yeah, think terror. Yeah, Herrer like terror, he used to say. His weed's still available though.
Starting point is 01:07:33 You know, he was a serious, yeah, you can still buy a strain. There's a strain named after him. Is there a Todd McCormick strain out there? Thank God,
Starting point is 01:07:39 no. No, thank God, no. Thank God, no. There's a Joe Rogan out there. There is?
Starting point is 01:07:43 Is there really? Can I get the plant? I don't know. I don't know where it is. How about you make your own? I was just going to say that. That's what I'm talking about, no. Thank God, no. There's a Joe Rogan out there. There is? Is there really? Can I get the plant? I don't know. I don't know where it is. How about you make your own? I was just going to say that. That's what I'm talking about, man. Fuck it.
Starting point is 01:07:50 I'll give you permission. Give it to me, man. This is what an officially sanctioned Joe Rogan's train would be created by Todd McCormick. Do you want it to be sativa or indica? Sativa, son. I don't fuck with that dope weed. Maybe just a sprinkle of indica. Yeah, a sprinkle sometimes makes you a little silly.
Starting point is 01:08:03 Just a little sprinkle. I think that's a great idea. I like that. I'll have you try some. I'll put this together. Thank you, everybody, for tuning in to the podcast. Once again, thank you to the Fleshlight for sponsoring. I don't know why I hold this up.
Starting point is 01:08:15 I can't just say it. I can just say it, but I feel like it's right here. I have to show you that it's really here. But does it light? Does it light? No, there's no light, man. There's no light. It's just all flesh.
Starting point is 01:08:23 Fuck it. Nobody's fucked this one. I'm not doing it. It's just rubber. It's just rubber. It's just rubber. Oh, that there's no light, man. There's no light. It's just all flesh. Fuck it. Nobody's fucked this one. I'm not doing it. It's just rubber. It's just rubber. It's just rubber. Oh, that's fucking weird rubber, man. It's pretty good, man.
Starting point is 01:08:30 I don't know what's up with that. I'll tell you what's up. It's better for masturbating. Do you masturbate at all? Don't lie. Of course you do, right? Of course. I went to prison for five years.
Starting point is 01:08:39 What the fuck do you think I did? But if you masturbate, why wouldn't you want one of these? Because this is masturbation taken to the next level. I could give you a long list of reasons. It just pops right off my head. Cleaning it? Fire him off. Dealing with it?
Starting point is 01:08:48 So easy. Come on. This is how you deal with it, right? You open up the top, right? So you shoot your load in there. And then you unscrew the bottom. And then you release the crack. And you also use the bottom.
Starting point is 01:08:58 Is the dishwasher safe? Dishwasher? No. That ain't a dish. That's your girlfriend, son. You're not getting that clean. Oh, yeah. You stick a fucking
Starting point is 01:09:06 to the top of it and you shoot it. Oh, you just stick the full head through there. Or you shoot it on your face. You do whatever you want to. Shoot it on your face. I like how you think, Brian.
Starting point is 01:09:15 Play something with a song. What's the song, Brian? This is called Walking on a Dream by Empire of the Sun. Thank you, everybody, for tuning in. We may or may not be doing
Starting point is 01:09:22 one of these on Thursday. Maybe do it with Joey and Eddie. Can you send them to my website? Yes, send them to... Hempiremedia.com Hempire, that's with an H, H-E-M-P-I-R. You can find him on Twitter, Hempire Media, for the folks that aren't watching this right now on the Ustream.
Starting point is 01:09:39 Hempire Media on Twitter, H-E-M-P-I-R-E Media. And, of course, Brian is Red Band, and I am just my name, Joe Rogan. Thank you very much. Thanks for tuning in. May see you guys on Thursday. If not, as always, I love you bitches. I'm just an aura what's in front of me Is it right now To be born to come home
Starting point is 01:10:10 I could fall off To be born to come home We'll see you next time. Outro Music

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