The Joe Rogan Experience - #486 - Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen

Episode Date: April 15, 2014

Brendan Schaub is a mixed martial artist and also a former college & pro football player. Bryan Callen is an actor and stand-up comedian. Together with Brendan Schaub hosts "The Fighter & The Kid" podcast available on Spotify.

Yeah, so this is the point, is that these toxins may or may not be an issue in some coffee today. They were at one point in time. But the coffee experts aren't worrying about that. When you talk to coffee experts, they're all worried about taste and flavor and where they're growing. And they're also worried about the fact that the climate in Ethiopia apparently is deteriorating because of global warming. And they think within the next 50 years, like a good percentage of the species that only exist in Ethiopia will be extinct. Wow.

Yeah. Because all of the coffee in the world comes from Ethiopia originally. My brother told me about this and was like, hey, you realize in 50 years, coffee is going to be no longer. Yeah. I freaked out.

I freaked out. Well, it'll be... I started storing coffee. It'll be in Latin America. Yeah. Costa Rica, right? Yeah. It doesn out. Well, it'll be... I still have coffee. I started storing coffee. It'll be in Latin America. Yeah. Costa Rica, right? Yeah. It doesn't also matter when you roast the beans versus when you drink it.

That's another issue that people had with this upgraded coffee. Although it's very successful. It sells very well for whatever reasons. So it's hard to keep on the shelf. So it's constantly moving. So you're getting fresh coffee when you're buying it. Caveman coffee, roast it when you order it. If you order Caveman coffee, that's Keith Jardine and Tate Fletcher. And really good coffee and tested mycotoxin free. A hundred percent. They tested it. They went through. They're getting everything single

source from a grower. They know the guy. The guy's family in south america and he lives in albuquerque so they travel back and forth to the farm they know exactly where it comes from it's like as legit single source as you can get keith gardine's a badass he's a great coffee sweetie he's just a great guy and he was a hell of a fighter you know and he still wants to go at it again he's thinking one more time one more time for albuquerque when they're you train with him for a long time right a long time yeah really good. He's an awesome guy. Just couldn't be a cooler guy. And he's doing really well with this.

This Caveman Coffee Company. He's just, they, you know, him and Tate are big coffee banana heads. Coffee, Tate never goes anywhere without a fucking container of coffee. Like everywhere he goes he carries a thermos. He loves his coffee. Loves it. Always has, ever since I've known him. I had a guy on my podcast, What the hell? I can't remember.

Sorry. He wrote a book called What White People Know and What White People Do. He started as a blog. And he said, one thing about white people, they are into their coffee, man. Love it. Like crazy. I love it. My coach, Tony Jeffries, was like, you're the only guy I know who drinks coffee in between rounds. I'll get a big cup of coffee in between rounds. You drink a big big cup of coffee and drink it in between

that's hilarious that's wild you know tito told me that the coffee fucks with your cardio he says he doesn't drink any it doesn't take any caffeine said cardio it fucks with your cardio i've heard different i've heard now if you're right faber says i'm gonna listen no shit right tito ortiz tells me that i was with tito two days ago in a bar by accident, Lower East Side, and it was his cheat day. And he was drinking a Shirley Temple, like literally in this really girly glass. So here's this giant dude drinking a very, very pink drink. I was like, that's hilarious, man. He had tremendous cardio.

Tito would break a lot of dudes with cardio. But listen, if Tank Abbott's strength coach tells me not to drink caffeine, I'm not going to listen. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? There's certain people you need to listen to. Yeah, you're right. Y'all do what works for you, man. His cardio is insane.

Crazy. That fight where, who was the fight where the guy got on his back within like the first minute of the first round? Like there was like some crazy scramble. Oh, right away, right? Yeah. Not McDonald, right? I want to say Abel Trujillo, but that's obviously not him because Abel Trujillo is the badass

welterweight. That name is stuck in my head. Well, let's just look it up. Yeah, the guy got right away, right? And they're like, this is exactly where Uriah doesn't want to be. He is so tough. It couldn't go any worse. He's so tough.

He's done it right, you know? Did you see that Abel Trujillo, Jamie Varner fight? Yes. That was fucking insane. What a crazy slugfest, slobber docker. Oh, my God. I don't know why I thought, why Abel Trujillo's name was coming into my mind. I've got to pull up this dude's name to find out why that was.

Oh, Yuri Alcantara. So it was just another cool name. It didn't make any sense. Yeah, Brian Callen, isn't it really? It's too much of a, ah. But the pace that Uriah put on that Uri Alcantara guy. I wish I was a little guy. If I was little, I mean, I feel like I should be a member of Team Alpha Male.

I love long distance running. I love eating healthy. I love dieting. I want to be a small guy. Well, you're very fit, too, for a heavyweight. You have some pretty extreme endurance for a heavyweight. Do you say that what's going on today with a guy like Travis Brown or with guys like Jon Jones or yourself,

you're getting a lot of people that were athletes in other sports, that were high-level athletes and then transitioned over into fighting. So in the beginning, you're seeing they're learning. They're really good athletes. So they move quicker than most people. They usually have a little bit more physical explosion and power than most people. But then it takes them a while to get all the techniques down. But now we're seeing like a lot of those dudes.

But this is that we're seeing. OSP is another one. Yeah, I wouldn't say a lot. I think we're seeing a number of them starting to transition. But the thing is, I've gone with tons of nfl guys nba when someone's trying to hit you in the face and you're just not that's why it takes so long i think for these athletes to adapt to fighting because getting hit in the face it's just it's just not either you were born where you're like yeah this is cool i can live with this i can learn to get out of the way and put my life on the line. And then usually when guys are that good of athletes, like, forget this.

Forget this, man. Forget this. Isn't it interesting? I think you look at the UFC and guys are starting to come around, but people think to me, you know, in 10 years we're going to have all these freak athletes. You're not, man, because these freak athletes, it's very rare you get a freak athlete who's like, yeah, I'm want to go fight another killer in a steel cage. That's a very interesting point.

It's a very interesting point when there's options too, right? Especially when you're that good of an athlete. And you're making way more money. Well, not necessarily. It depends on what level you're fighting in the UFC. People say about this all the time, like, oh, you guys don't get paid. I make a great living, man.

Yeah, it's not true. Well, you got NFL players signing... No, no, no. Hold up. You're talking about the exception. I make more than a lot of... Oh, do you? Yes. Well, here's what you have to understand. When you look at pay, okay, like, there's a pay that's listed

as far as the purse that you get after a fight. From the commission they list out, is what you're saying? That is not... That doesn't take into account a lot of factors. There's a lot of things that they want to remain private. So you're not just getting paid that amount. Some people are. Some people are just getting paid that amount. Guys you don't know that probably should be getting paid that amount.

Right. But when a guy's selling tickets, someone is a big-name fighter, there's a lot of factors in there but also in then a sponsorship well incentives pay-per-view pieces of pay-per-view for sure like george st pierre was making five million dollars a fight that's pretty good yeah it's making a lot of fucking money and you know he's got sponsors he's had gatorade all this other stuff all this other revenue coming in i mean george st pierre made a fuck load of money fighting so maybe maybe he didn't make as much as Floyd Mayweather.

But guess what? Floyd Mayweather is, one, a bigger star. Two, a better promoter. He's a fucking... Boxing's also worldwide. Yeah, there's that. Well, so is the UFC now. The UFC's pretty worldwide now.

There could be a spectacular fight in the UFC. A crazy crazy epic fight that everybody wants to see that could do 1.5 million, 2 million pay-per-view guys. That's what Floyd Mayweather has done. It is possible that that could happen. When you think about before Floyd Mayweather, it's hard to find a guy since Oscar De La Hoya,

maybe Manny Pacquiao, a guy who can do... There's only a few of those guys. Everybody wants to say, oh, in boxing they make so much more money. No, there's about five of them. A few of those guys. You're talking about the exception. People always refer to the exception. Right.

Mayweather, Pacquiao are the exception. Look at the... If you watch Pacquiao's fight, this last fight with Bradley, look at the undercard. It was pure shit. It was horrible. Those guys are scrapping. I thought it was a good fight.

You thought the undercard was? You thought Pacquiao-Bradley was good? Pacquiao-Bradley was a good fight. That was a really good fight. But there were some good fights in the undercard. It wasn't bad. I enjoyed it. Who was your favorite on the undercard?

I'd have to look at it to tell you. Exactly. That's my point. Rios. That's my point. That's the problem with boxing. No one gives a flying hoot about the undercard. No one gives a shit.

Because you don't know them. These guys are super talented, and they're not making any money. Yeah, but at a certain point in time, okay, here it is. At a certain point in time, there's only so many fucking room, room for so many fighters you can keep in your head. But boxing? Or anything in your head. But boxing?

I mean, let's go, at heavyweight especially. Listen, Klitschko could probably deliver pizza next door and no one's going to ask for an autograph. Isn't that weird? That's crazy, right? He was so dominant, that's your heavyweight champ, no one gives a shit. That's so weird.

That sounded funny. People were tweeting about the undercrowd. They were tweeting being defensive about the quality, that the HBO commentators were being defensive about the quality of the undercard. So maybe you're right. I just tuned in, and I may or may not have been high as fuck. So I had a good time. Why did boxing fall by the wayside?

It isn't really. It hasn't. That's a misconception. It hasn't fallen by the wayside. It's just there's only a few guys that can sell big pay-per-view. Like, maybe, you know, there's maybe like four or five guys that can sell big pay-per-view. They don't tell anyone's story. Look at the UFC. There's a countdown every damn Tuesday, Wednesday on Billy.

You know, Billy's mom passed away and he decided to turn to fighting. I mean, the UFC does the best job of marking its guys. There was that one fight that was actually really good. Vargas versus that Russian cat. Yeah, that was a good fight. Yeah. They were both undefeated. Yeah, that was a good fight.

That was a very good fight. Again, though, we're talking about that dude versus this Russian dude. These Russian bad motherfuckers, man. There's a lot of beast Russians that are making their way into MMA now, making their way into boxing now. It's really fascinating how many badass Russians there are. Siberians just living in Siberia. So tough.

Fucking animals. Scary, really. Well, it's also the epigenetics. You know, they're saying that now that people who have had family members, this was something that's passed down through sperm. They believe traumatic events through your ancestry are passed down through sperm and there are people who are the children yeah people who are the children's children and children of people who've survived traumatic disorders or traumatic incidents were more likely to develop all sorts of mental problems were more likely to be like schizophrenic like

all these all these issues, mental issues, that they could directly correlate possibly to the trauma that their ancestors have established. Wow. Now think about how screwed you are. If you're little Kenny growing up in Malibu and you want to be a fighter, good luck competing with those guys over in Siberia.

I'm going to turn to them like, no, you're fucked, man. Just forget it. They're just hungry. They have different jaws. They're just hungry. They have different jaws. They're just a different look in their eyes. You're playing grab ass with freaking Bruce Jenner. Meanwhile, this guy's in Siberia freaking wrestling polar bears.

That is hilarious. Who is that? Who is that? Golovkin? Golovkin can just. Triple G? What? He's the next big star.

He's an animal. He's the next big star. He's a fucking animal. He really is. Those body shots. No one wants to fight him. I'll tell you what, I'm excited for the Sergio Martinez and Miguel Cotto fight. That's a guy from Argentina.

Yeah. Miguel Cotto has been looking very good in his last few fights. And Martinez is almost 40 at a certain point. And with his style, very different style than Bernard Hopkins. Bernard Hopkins, 48 fucking years old. That's crazy. Still outboxing the shit out of young people. Sergio is all about footwork. At some point, when that footwork goes away, he's going to be in trouble.

And his left. He's got a brutal, brutal left hand. And he comes in with everything. He's so good at his movement and his in and out movement. He uses that same in and out movement to land devastating balls. This is what we're talking about off air. So he's almost 40. He played soccer almost all his life and then got into boxing, I think, at 28, 29.

What? No. Yeah. Multi-time world champ. No matter when you start, whether you're Tito Ortiz or Vitor Belfort starting at 18, 19 year old, or you're Sergio Martinez starting at 30, no matter when you start, your clock is ticking. You have this amount of fights in 30, no matter when you start, your clock is ticking. You have this amount of fights in you, no matter when.

I mean, yeah, guys drag it on, you know, via Fedor or Krokop. Guys are dragging on, but you're only going to be in your prime, and you're going to have these many great fights in you. It doesn't matter when you start. Yeah, I was talking to Eve Edwards about that. He's 37 now, and he was saying one of the frustrating things for fighters, I think, is that you learn the art. You continue to learn there's so much to learn but you continue to learn and then you get to be 37 38 and you may be a step slower but you know so much more so you just want

to try it out but the game is also timing and speed and power and guess what that's why trt came about because those 37 38 year olds are dang, I know so much, man. But my body's not the same. Let me talk to this doctor over here. Now we have epidemic. Now we got Vitor Belfort. Epidemic. Epidemic. It's not an epidemic.

It's an epicdemic. It's an epicdemic. No, you're right, though. But now we got Vitor Belfort in Brazil spinning back, kicking people's faces off. In Brazil, all TRT'd up. Joe Silva said it best. He goes, it's like Vitor downloaded a Taekwondo black belt. All of a sudden, he's throwing wheel kicks.

We've never seen it. The guy never threw a wheel kick and then knocked out Luka Rockhold with it. Luke fucking Rockhold is a beast. I mean, for him to do what he did. With ease. With ease. And then Bisbee? What?

I think you nailed it. What you nailed is exactly what it is. It's that these guys get older and they get so much more experience and so much more knowledge, but that's the nature balance. Nature gives you that experience and knowledge. So you can teach. It's like the two old- Experience is priceless.

It's like the two old buffalo. Was it the old buffalo and the young? The bull and the calf. Yeah. I don't know this. The bull and the calf. The calf goes- Wait, is it buffaloes or bulls? It's the bulls. The young bull and the old bull The bull and the calf. Yeah. I don't know this. The bull and the calf. The calf goes. Wait, is it buffaloes or bulls? It's the bulls.

The young bull and the old bull. And the young bull says. It could be buffaloes. Let's go down there and fuck. Let's go buffalo. Yeah. He goes, let's go down there and fuck one of those cows. No, no, no.

You fucked it up already. Listen. This is what he says. Is this for real? Listen. He goes, let's run down there and fuck one of those calves. Right. And the old bull says, let's walk down there and fuck them all.

Yeah, all right. All right. This is the other thing, though. I get it. I get it. I take it in. Take it in. Take it in.

You're a young bull. You corrected me, and you were still going to fuck it up. Fuck. This is the thing, though. Vitor Belfort and those guys, the sport wasn't as big when they were superstars, right? Right. And now they're like, whoa, the sport's huge. I can stick around and take this stuff and make all this money and be relevant.

You know what I'm saying? There's Vitor. Show that again, Jamie. Look at this. Look at this. Boom. It's not just doing that. It's doing that to Luke Rockhold.

Who's better looking than Brendan Schaub, maybe? Easy. Now let me tell you something. He's got muscles on his teeth. He really does. Let me tell you this, though. Luke Rockhold flew for 17 hours from San Jose, California,

showed up on a Saturday night, got wheel kicked in the face, and jumped back on a plane. That's gotta suck. It does suck. I fought Nogueira in Brazil. Can you tell Joe the Nogueira story about the other stuff? Are you allowed to? Which one?

What other stuff? Money. Jersey. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Tell him the story. What? Is there a secret?

Not really. For sure quit eating those nuts because that's fucking hot. But I want to before we- That's fucking up my whole game. Yeah, stop all that. Before we tell any story, I want to go back to this trt thing because we can't just gloss over it like that no no it's a huge subject i think you nailed it though too and you did too talking about eve edwards feelings of all the knowledge he's acquired that is that does seem to be like nature's balancing act right yeah like nature doesn't

want you to have all that knowledge and all that and live forever it's like well it's like god saying oh you got it cool oh your body sucks you and live forever. Well, it's like God saying, oh, you got it? Cool. Oh, your body sucks. You can't do it anymore. Well, it's sort of like the beauty of everything is that it's temporary. Like, what's our favorite thing? Let's be realistic.

Sex, right? Most people's favorite thing is sex. When you're really horny and you're having sex with someone who you really like having sex with, it's one of the greatest things on earth. One of the greatest things about it is you know it's not going to last. Look, if you're a stud. What if it did, if it did though you're great you'd be bored of it well that's why guys do drugs and stuff see this is the problem people are freaks and they're just fucking their pupils are this big and they never open the fucking curtain those people but it's

the same concept with sex he's like man you know and make this even better if we did molly on this yeah well the same difference like oh but i'm cool i'm man, you know what would make this even better? If we did Molly on this. The same difference is like, oh, I'm cool on fighting, but you know what would be better? If I did steroids. But that's a good point, because the Molly thing, if you do it on Molly, when all that stuff wears off, which it will wear off eventually, you're fucking wrecked.

Because you're in debt. You're like a kid with a student loan. You started out of the gate. You're like Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street, just super down. Way more. Really down. You started out of the gate. You snuffle up on Sesame Street just super down. Way more. Really down. You paid way more than you have.

It's like seeing, when you see those people who are just like, now they're 53, hanging around a coffee shop with a ponytail, and they don't really have a job. They're trying to get things done.

You're like, oh, you had a really good time for 15 years. Maybe. That's the same with fighting. You'll meet some fighters. I'll meet some fighters who are so punchy and they're maybe 40, 45. Yeah.

For 15 years, this guy was the man. I wanted to be him. Now I look at him, I'm like, dude, you make me never want to fight again. What were you doing? Do you have a number in your head or a place in your head where you're going to reach where you're like, that's it? Whether it's an age number or whether it's a physical number, just like a feeling that you're going to reach where you're like, that's it. Whether it's an age number or whether it's a physical number, just like a feeling that you're going to have when you know when to hang it up.

I think you know. I think you know. But do you? Because that seems to be the problem. People ask me this now. People, you know, when do you think, you know, I'd probably say I have a good five years left. Especially the way I train.

Like, Brian, you know, I don't have an off season. I'm in shape year-round. I train nonstop year-round. Do you do that to continue with your improvement, or do you also do that in case someone calls, like in case you get a last-minute call? Nope, just to get better. Just to get better. Just to continue your improvement. The only reason. You're always training. He's always training. Well, hey, man, that's the right attitude to have in the Hurt business. You know, you can't be casual about this. Dude, there are monsters out there.

I just called out Mark Hunt. I just called out Mark Hunt. Listen to this. He talks shit to me on Twitter at 10 o'clock at night, which is whatever time in New Zealand. It's 10 o'clock at night. I read it. I'm like, whatever. I'm watching Naked and Afraid or Teen Mom or some bullshit.

I'm like, whatever. Sitting there, it's just killing me. I'm like, you know what? Fuck this guy. Get back on there. I talk shit, whatever. Sitting there, it's just killing me. I'm like, you know what? Fuck this guy. Get back on there. I talk shit to him. He bites. We're going back and forth.

Finally, it was almost like, you know, like butter. It just, bam. Like, next thing I know, I had him agree to a winner-takes-all fight, and we're fighting in August, winner-takes-all. Mark Hunt, Brendan Shaw, main event. You guys are having a winner-takes-all fight? It was my idea. So how does that work, like, financially? Like, as far as, Shaw, main event. You guys are having a winner takes all fight? It was my idea. So how does that work financially as far as with the UFC?

Well, the UFC won't sanction it. Okay, so you have to pay him your purse when it's over? Well, he's going to pay me his purse, but yes. Well, okay. That's what I meant. Yes, there you go. You know, it's like you say Mike and I. It's just the proper way.

He's going to pay me his purse. But the thing is, you get all hyped up. I get done with that sitting in bed. My heart's going a million miles an hour. I just called out the whatever, number five, six heavyweight in the world, the hardest hitter in the division, and it's a winner-takes-all fight. Not an ounce of sleep. Woke up at, you know what I'm saying, 7 a.m., went to practice.

No pressure. Not an ounce of sleep. That was a Wednesday night. And you want to be'm saying? 7 a.m. went to practice. No pressure. No pressure. That was a Wednesday night. And you want to be a UFC fighter? Fuck. Yeah, the pressure is probably alien to most people. It's insane. Fight week?

What? Fight week? Depression. You think about all the other avenues you could have gone down to avoid jumping into that cage. For sure. Everything goes through your mind. You mean all the other avenues in life? Like what you could have done?

Yeah, for sure. I should be married with kids. I could be wearing a suit and tie. I'm a double major from University of Colorado. I could be doing this. I should have done this. I could have done this. It's weird, man.

When does that go away? When does that go away? Man, probably right when I get in the cage. When I hit the crowd, I'm cool. In the back, I'm like, dang, what are we doing? So once you hit the crowd, then you're in its on mode, and your body can relax, saying at least it's going to get a release from all this tension.

Exactly, yep. Yeah, isn't that what it is? It's like once the first round starts, people would think, like, God, it must be scary to fight. But I would imagine that the most brutal thing is just getting there. The buildup. Just getting there. Oh, when you're fighting, you know, my last fight, I would imagine that the most brutal thing is just getting there. The buildup. Just getting there.

Oh, when you're fighting, you know, my last fight, I was the co-main event or third fight in Toronto, UFC 165 against Mitrione. I mean, I didn't fight until, shoot, 9 o'clock at night. You're waiting around all day thinking about the fight. And when do you eat? It's tough for me to eat because of my nerves. That's why everyone's like, oh, Shabsh got to 205. Listen, I'm 252 pounds right now. The only reason I weigh in so light is because I can't eat.

The week of the fight, I can't eat. So that's why I weigh in so light. Wow, that's crazy. I love Brendan because he's so honest about it. He calls Alistair Overeem on Twitter, and then he stops, and he goes, yeah, God told him. Then he's like, I've got to go train. I'll hit the ground running, man.

Well, that's the attitude you have. Fear is a good thing for a fighter, though, isn't it? Yeah, fear. So is honesty. Honesty, fear. Oh, people all the time are like, oh, man, Chuck Liddell's not like that. Hate to tell you, my man, your favorite fighter is just scared to admit it. I'm not scared to admit.

People are terrified back there. You're going to fight another trained killer inside the octagon, basically in your underwear, in front of millions of people. Millions of people. You're going to be a little scared. I hate to tell you that. I hate to tell you that, man. Of course.

How could you think that you wouldn't like your fucking cool hand Luke? He's going to strut in there with a smile on your face. Anyone who acts cool is a good actor. Hicks and Gracie said there's a close relationship between fear and intelligence. And he said anybody who's not afraid at all is, I always go, I shake my head, I go, that guy's not very smart. I'll tell you what, Kenny told me this. Tough fighters don't laugh. Laugh, smart fighters do.

And he's right, man. Yeah, he's totally right. He's so, he's so correct. Bernard Hopkins, back to Bernard Hopkins. Right. He's 48 years old in boxing, and he talks clear. You know? So incredible.

Doesn't have any issues. Very rarely gets hit clean. Very rarely. He might get hit clean two or three times. Floyd Mayweather the same way, right? Very rarely gets hit. Last guy to hit him clean was Sugar Shane Mosley. Sugar Shane Mosley rocked him with the right hand.

He covered up, recovered, then boxed his face. That Instagram of Sugar Shane between you and Tim Tebow, he looked like you guys won him in something. He's tiny. I'll tell you what, he was a tad punchy. I'm not going to lie to you. He's a little bit punchy. Floyd? No. Sugar Shane. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Yeah, I'm sure Sugar Shane's a little punchy. He's a lot of wars. I think Bradley's going to be punchy. I've never seen anybody. Bradley's going to be super punchy. I've never seen anybody take that kind of punishment. Do you think it's worth it, Joe? What about the Provodnikov fight?

Did you see that fight? Craziest thing I've ever seen. He fought the best way Max Kellerman described it. He took a Siberian caveman, thawed him out, and then put boxing gloves on him. That's what that guy was like. Bradley had slurred speech for at least a month after. Yeah, he talked about it after the fight. So you guys have kids.

Your kid wants to fight. And most likely there's going to be some trouble down the road with his brain if he's a fighter. You say cool. You're down. I say you do whatever you want to do. If that's what you want to do, you have to be – you can't half-ass it. I don't want my kid to half-ass anything. Oh, I didn't say lazy McGee here.

I'm talking about – I mean if you want to do it. If that's what you want to do, that's what you should do. I don't think anyone should do anything other than that. If he gets to a certain point... Look, that's what I wanted to do when I was young. I wanted to fight. When I figured out at a certain point in time that there was no future,

that's when I stopped doing it. What made you realize there's no future? There was nothing in 1989. When I had my last kickboxing match, there was nothing. There was no kickboxing. Taekwondo, I couldn't respect it the way I used to respect it because I started kickboxing.

And I realized all the holes in it. Legitimate kickboxing here is what we're talking about? You started competing in it? I fought above the waist PKA style. And then I started training Muay Thai and then I realized there was even more holes in the above the waist style.

But above-the-waist PKA style, the real problem was the boxing. I had done Taekwondo for so long. My hands were shit. And my ability to move and throw kicks and punches together, it was all disjointed. It just wasn't the right way to do things. Then when did you get into jiu-jitsu? 96.

Joe got me into jiu-jitsu? 96. Joe got me into jiu-jitsu. So I went through this period where I was training all the time in a martial arts and had all these holes in it. So I wasn't ever going to go back and compete, like try to make the U.S. Olympic team or anything like that, because I didn't feel the same way about Taekwondo. I didn't want to just do it anymore, because I knew how easy it is for a guy to just cover up and walk you down and corner you in a ring and fuck you up because you don't know how to deal with hands. There were so many holes in it. It's so much easier to punch you in the face when guys were throwing kicks and punches together and you didn't understand the rhythm and the distance of punches. So when I went from that, I had no choice.

There was no options. But if there was an option, like if kickboxing paid like what boxing does, if there was a UFC option at that time, I would have had to learn grappling, so I probably still wouldn't have competed in the UFC if there was something like that. When I first started grappling, when I first started jiu-jitsu in 96, I was amazed at how easy it was for men to just rape me. Just ragdoll me, choke me, armbar me at will. Because I had, they looked the same size as me. Like, they looked pretty similar.

I looked at these people and I'd be like, well, you're not that bigger than me. You realize how vulnerable you are. Oh, it's disturbing. I think fighting, like even learning a little bit of fighting makes you more afraid, not less afraid. More humble, for sure. It's also, don't you feel like, out of all the pro athletes, fighters are probably the most approachable and the most down to earth.

Easy. Long shot. There's a reason why when a UFC fighter goes into an event, whether it's the ESPYs, whatever it is, all sorts of stuff, right? There can be NBA, NHL, NFL, the who's who, actors. The room wants to talk to the fighter because guess what? No one is willing to do what a fighter does.

So when a famous fighter walks in the room, he's the center of the attention every time, man. That's fascinating. Every time. What if there's Michael Jordan and, like, Uriah Faber? Different story. Michael Jordan is stealing all the time. I mean, Michael Jordan is a little different. My friend just told me he. Now, Muhammad Ali,

Michael Jordan, I bet you Muhammad Ali is going to get some interest. Not Muhammad Ali right now. Right. Of when he was young. How about, okay, let's purpose example. Mike Tyson, 86. Mike Tyson, Mike Jordan. I bet you more people go up to Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson in 86 who walked down the street

and people would call their friends. It taps into the fact that there's a man in the room that can kill everybody with his bare hands. That's fascinating to men. That's the John L. Selvin. I can lick any man in this room. But when you're a kid, everyone wants to be a fighter. You're fighting your brother. You're fighting your friend.

What sports boil down to the rawest element? It's like the game you're playing is let's play kill you. That's right. You try to kill me, I try to kill you. But some of them are a game. Some of them are a game, right? Like football's a game, basketball's a game. Listen, if LeBron James misses a jump

shot, hey, listen, he's going to go tomorrow. If I miss the timing of Mark Hunt's left hook, listen, my jaw's going to be shattered in 30 different spots. I'm not fighting for probably a year and a half That's the difference The stakes are a lot higher

Way higher Not even comparable Yeah, not comparable at all You could lose 20 basketball games in a row And still go to the movies Imagine if you lost 20 fights in a row You're not going to have a job Yeah, it'd be impossible

And you're physically strong Eddie Bravo and I were talking about this This is a perfect way to describe One of the great things about Jiu Jitsu is think about how many times you've been tapped in your life in jiu-jitsu. I've probably been tapped a hundred times. Now, what if I had been head kicked, knocked out a hundred times? Forget it. What if a hundred times I got wheel kicked like Luke Rockhold?

Could you imagine a person who's been wheel kicked in the head a hundred times? You actually might be dead. Yeah. I don't think you could take full wheel kicks like that a hundred times. Boom. A hundred of those in your life. I don't think you could have some problems. You'd have nothing left.

You'd have literally nothing left. But you can do that. You can get rear naked choked a hundred times in a month, and you're okay. True. You're going to be sore. You're going to be sore. But you're going to be okay. Yeah.

And there's a big difference between these two death moves. But this is the thing. In striking, if someone's about to blast me with the right hand, I can't tap out and be like, no, we're good, man. Yeah, you got that. In jiu-jitsu, listen, if you're going against a guy who's like, if I get a hold of something, I'm going to rip your arm up.

You're going to be in trouble. Some Paul Haras type character. Yes, you're not going to be able to roll every day. Right. Yeah, that's the difference. That's true, too. In jiu-jitsu, there's a way out. In jiu-jitsu, there's a way out. In jiu-jitsu, there's a white flag. In boxing, you know, in these other sports, there's no white flag. That's why it's so crazy when someone doesn't use that white flag and you watch their shit get snapped.

Crack! It's like, dog, you're out for a long, long time. Like, Hensar Gracie watched Sakuraba break his arm. Break his arm. Yeah, well, that fight was over, though. How about Tim Sylvia and Frank Mir? Frank Mir snapped his forearm in half. He didn't feel it, right?

Tim Sylvia's trying to punch him with the left. Unbelievable. I mean, he knew something was wrong, but he was like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm just going to hit him with my other hand. I didn't see that. Oh, my God. It snapped.

Like, the forearm was straight. Her beam has to stop. No, no, no. He stopped the fight. Watch. Pull that up. Frank Mir breaks Tim Sylvia's arm. God, Frank Mir is so scary. The audience didn't know what was going on, so the audience was straight. Herb Dean has to stop it. No, no, no. He stopped the fight. Watch. Pull it up. Frank Mir breaks Tim Sylvia's arm. God, Frank Mir is so scary. The audience didn't know

what was going on, so the audience was yelling. And I had explained it to the audience. Yeah, I had explained it. I go, watch it right here. And the audience went, You've seen so much violence. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch the forearm. Ow! Yeah, baby. Ow! That's how powerful

Herb Dean is a bad motherfucker he's yelling stop stop stop stop stop he separates it and he's like yo dude your arm is broken this fight is over yo homie you're yeah so during the replay i the audience was booing they were really pissed off i go watch this right here boom oh my god frank mirror's one of my favorites yeah my god! Frank Mir is one of my favorites. Yeah, my god, that was an incredible arm bar. He's the only guy in the UFC, by the way, who's broken two guys' arms. Two high-level world champions' arms. Insane.

Noguera and Frank Mir. And he almost ripped Lesnar's leg apart. Lesnar had a normal-sized leg. You know, Mazzagati fucked up, man. That was a bad... Lesnar was tapping, and then he tapped again. He tapped some more, and then finally the referee stopped it. Paul Harris style for sure. Oh, if Paul Harris got a hold of that, he doesn't do the straight leg locks very rarely.

Well, he's doing ankle locks, man, which is way more trouble. Well, he's doing inside heel hooks. That's his favorite. He loves that inside heel hook. He did it again to somebody. Yeah, well, he let go. He let go. You see, everybody's saying that heel hooks. That's his favorite. He loves that inside heel hook. He did it again to somebody. Yeah. Well, he let go. He let go. You see, everybody's saying that he doesn't let go.

They're going to jump on him no matter what he does. If he gets a submission, they're jumping on him. He absolutely has held submissions for too long, though. For sure. Absolutely. Not just once. Many times. There's fights of his in Brazil where he's got a lock on a guy and he will not let go.

And the referee's prying at him and he will not let go. And I don't remember if it was a choke or it was a leg lock, but he fucked that guy up. I heard in training he's the exact same way. He really only trains with his brother. His brother he doesn't do that with. Everyone else is like, no, I'm good, man. He hangs on to stuff. That's so crazy.

That's so scary, a guy who does that. It's ridiculous. Especially a guy who's built like that. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ. It's crazy how he's built. He is the biggest 170 pounder I've ever seen ever. So weird. He has a smaller forehead than me. Have you ever seen him?

He does. We both have time. Like, my eyebrows are about to run into the side here. He's very similar. Cro-Magnon-esque, right? Yeah. Yeah, he's just... That guy has the best leg locks, man. His leg locks are so finishing. He grabs a hold of one.

It's like 9 out of 10 someone's tapping. For sure. Except Alan Belcher. Belcher beat the brakes off of him. Belcher beat the brakes off of him. Not only did he do it, he willingly went into leg lock positions because he worked his entire camp on defending. He just punched him in the face.

Did the right thing. He sat on top, punch, pass, punch. I should ask Alan and give props to whoever coached him on his leg locks there. But Alan Belcher is a wizard at that shit now because he prepared for that fight and did everything, every step of the way. Like everything, blocked everything, knew exactly what to expect. And you can see Paul Harris is so flustered. He really didn't know what to do because Alan was like in right where, in the spider web, defending everything and then punching him in his face. Well, Palaharis has a little bit of an issue.

Like, do you remember Nate Marquardt? Yeah. When Nate pulled out of the leg submission, he's like, what? What? And then, bam, blast in the face. Well, he was accusing Nate of greasing. Because he couldn't believe that Nate got out of his leg lock. Nate was pretty honest about what he did.

He said, I warmed up a lot because I knew the guy was really good at leg locks. I wanted to be nice and slippery. Yeah. So I sweat a lot. You're allowed to do that. For sure. Yeah. There's no issue with that.

But he's like, ooh. Yeah, he's like, what? And as he's pointing, Nate goes, kaboom. I just dove on him. It was great. Would you remember that fight? He fought Dan Miller. And jumped up on the cage?

And they're like, what? He hit him and rocked him and for whatever reason decided the fight was over. So he starts celebrating. Pars? Yeah. He jumps on the cage. They pull him down from the cage. The referee's like, the fight's still on.

You have to keep fighting. Wow. What are you doing? Did he end up winning? Well, I think he won. He won a decision. He won. I think he he won a decision but it was one of the weirdest things embarrassing it's like he just decided that real mcgast like real mcgast jumping up on the cage ah they're literally grabbing his shorts be like

hey homie yeah still going Paul Hart pull that up Paul Harris versus Dan Miller well if you could find it if you can find the exchange because it's so bizarre. It's weird. He has an issue, obviously. Well, if you read about that guy's childhood, it was one of the most horrific childhoods. Oh, that's it right there. That's it?

Yeah, look. He walks away. Look, he's on the cage. You have to tear him down. Yeah, let's look at the finish again. Watch it again. Look at how muscular he is. Hey, what was Dan Miller going to do?

Bring it all the way back to the beginning so we can see what happened before. So he hits him. He hits him. Boom, boom. And he just got off. Look, he just decides. What is that? That's so crazy.

What is that? He just decided that it was over. What world is he in? And then look, I love how Dan Miller's rushing over to him to grab him on the cage. Yeah, that's ridiculous. What was he going to do? Those arms are so ridiculous. And what does he weigh in there?

185. Well, he weighed in at 185. He's probably 2 plus. His nickname means tree stump. His legs are like this, man. 170. He just tapped Steve Carle. Oh, his childhood.

Yeah, his childhood was unbelievably horrific. Really? Yeah, he was working on a farm when he was a little boy. They ate pig slop. He literally had to eat pig slop to stay alive. He had no food. When he first started training, he was just dirt poor, like as poor as can be.

He has this big scar on his chest. They couldn't afford to take him to a hospital, so they glued it. It was like a giant gash on his chest, and they glued it together when he was a little kid. He lived a hard, hard life. Yeah. Probably filled with trauma that people like us that grew up in a nice neighborhood probably

could never understand. Again, Kenny in Malibu who wants to fight. Exactly. Nah, man. You're screwed, bud. Because Paul Harries is super glue in his chest and ankle-locking pigs when he's eight years old. Yeah, well, we might have been talking about that.

Was that before the podcast or was it during the commercials that we were saying that? But it's the epigenetics thing. The scientists have proven that fear and memory can be inherited via sperm. I didn't know that. When did they... It's been a while, but there's papers

that have been published on it now, apparently. That's crazy. Researchers began testing the pups of traumatized dads for a startle response to different smells. The acetophenone stimulus had a big effect, which was not seen in the controls. To emphasize here, these pups never actually learned any previous foot shock trials that the acetaphone that the acetaphone was

bad news i guess that was it makes sense evolutionarily though because remember steve yeah because steve runella said you start hunting an area the animals like the elk and yellowstone because the wolves were just introduced their generation the generations have not had to deal with wolves so what happens is they don't really know how to defend against wolves they don't they don't have the built-in startle responses, etc. But as they start getting killed by wolves more and more, their offspring will learn. And so it makes total sense. So this is what happened.

They used the smell of this chemical, which has a citrusy smell. It's called acetophenone. And it was paired with a slightly discomforting electric shock to their feet. So that's what they did to the dads. Right. Then they gave the children of the dads this acetophenone spray, and they panicked. Yeah. This is rats?

Mice. Mice, yeah. I mean, that's some insane shit, man. It's just, whose job is that? Whose job is that? Hey, get the rats. Grab their shit, man. Whose job is that? Whose job is that? Hey, get the rats. Grab their feet, man. I mean, who's doing that?

Well, that's what science is doing. Who's giving these rats these feet? That makes sense. From an evolutionary standpoint, if you continue to be hunted by lions, the first time a gazelle sees a lion, it's running. It doesn't have to say, hey, what is that thing? So my kid's going to love coffee and freaking thick chicks? Or is that how it works? I think every healthy boy likes thick chicks.

I know. I was having this conversation with women about, with Amy Schumer, about models. Like the idea of a model. No one likes that. No one likes that. It's kind of, well, I mean, it's not awful. I don't want anybody who's really skinny to feel bad. No, not at all. But you don't have to starve yourself to look likes that. No one likes that. It's kind of, well, I mean, it's not awful. I don't want anybody who's really skinny to feel bad. No, not at all.

But you don't have to starve yourself to look like that. You're not doing anybody any favors. But it's very rare you find a guy who's like, dang, look at that girl. I can see every rib. She is fine. It's like trying to take a nap in a wooden chair. No, I've never met a guy who just signed me up for that skinny-ass model. Yeah.

Yeah. But girls have this idea just signed me up for that skinny-ass model. Yeah. Yeah. But girls have this idea where they need to be that skinny. Guys don't like that. Well, it's gay guys who are fashion designers. I'm not saying that straight guys aren't, but a lot of them are gay. Let's be real. It's not homophobic, to be honest. There's a lot of gay guys that, you know, obviously they're not looking for a hips-to-waist ratio,

ass-to-waist ratio, because they're not thinking about fucking them. So they're like thin and slender. But also, that dress looks cool on that coat hanger. If we could get a chick to be that skinny and thin so it would look just like that, and then toss a blonde wit, you know what I'm saying? Right. So the clothes look the same. That's a weird thing. That's why I couldn't address guys.

But women decide. They need models with blonde asses. That's what I'm saying. Women decide that women who look like that look good, though. That gets weird. Well, because they see it in magazines. Yeah. Yeah.

They're told. Culturally, you can be told. Like some tribes in Africa, like in Burma, those women with the really long necks. How about the women in Africa that put the plates in their face? Yeah. The bigger the plate, the more cattle you're worth. Foot binding in China. You can learn.

Cultures learn what's attractive. Yeah. I'm just talking about boobs and ass here. Yeah. Well, that's the normal route. That's the DNA. But there's the cultural route that gets weird. What do you think it is?

Why guys are attracted to bigger butts and bigger boobs? They breed better. Yeah. Animals are. That, animals are. That's a fact that they breed better? Sure. Larger breasts, larger ass means she's going to have more fat on her body. She'll be healthier to take care of the baby.

The baby's going to burn off a tremendous amount of calories. You want a healthy woman. You don't want a sickly person. If you see her ribs, that'll be unattractive because that means she's starving already. She's not doing well. No, I get that. It's DNA. I'm not saying freaking eating disorder Amy over here and then thick Amy.

Right. But there's a reason why guys are like, ooh, look at those big ass titties. The little ass, too. Why is the ass? Why is it? Because they're healthy. Even animals, male animals, are attracted to round surfaces. Well, muscular.

You're also attracted to like a big ass is like the sign of great genetics. Yeah. It's just the reward. the sign of great genetics. Yeah. It's just the reward. More speed, more power. Everything. But then even when a girl gets surgery done and gets implants, I'm still cool. I'm game. Yeah, cool.

Yeah, you're letting your system get tricked. Tricked. Tricked. Tricked. Yeah. You're letting your system get tricked. Like fake tits. Yeah, that's the thing.

With guys, fake tits and fake asses, they actually do work. Yeah. You know, it's like we're so pathetic. Like our desire to just compartmentalize it and just get our loads out. I know. It's just like we're dealing with like pretend you were a ship and the ship only had so much room for bullets on it. You know, if you have too many bullets on it the fucking ships gonna sink Well every day a new shipment of bullets arrives, and you know what all right? We're just gonna have to fucking be a little less choosy with our targets and you start shooting into the water

Shooting in the sky you got to get rid of bullets. That's what it's like being a man Yeah, being a man is like being on a fucking battleship that's constantly receiving a new ship and a bullet. And you're looking at the fucking notebook and you're like, fucking who ordered this? Look at all the bullets we already have. Oh, all right. All right. Everybody on deck.

We got to start fucking shooting the ocean again. Everybody on deck. All hands on dick. All hands on dick. Well, that's why people who don't fire off their rounds on their own, they're not judicious about that. What happens to them? Well, they get hoodwinked in some shitbag relationship

with some woman who controls how they come. I've had friends where their girlfriend won't let them jerk off. Are you hearing me? That would make me crazy. No way. That's crazy. Listen, I'll tell you right now. My friend tells me that, I'm going to say, have a good day, sir. We are no longer friends. See you later.

Erase my number from here. Have a good day, sir. Have a good day, sir. I was going to say. Never call me ever again. I went to Alaska, and we came across. It was so boring. We went fishing.

Me and my dad lasted one day, by the way, fishing. Why? Because I don't know how to fish. Oh, I'll hook you up with a guy. We lost every lure. Every lure. In one hour, the guy goes, just put another lure on. We go, oh, no, we don't know how to fish. Oh, I'll hook you up with a guy. We lost every lure. Every lure. In one hour, the guy goes, just put another lure on. We go, oh, no, we don't have any more.

He goes, you lost them all? You told this story on my podcast three different times. The point I'm making is that we found a guy who had an arsenal. He had an arsenal of weapons. What's this have to do with chicks and blow-up asses? About shooting guns, same thing. When you have a lot of ammo, he had crazy amounts of ammo and all kinds of machine guns and M1s. I couldn't squeeze off enough rounds.

Like day after day, I became completely desensitized. I was trying to shoot everything. I was like, what's that thing in the water? Is that an otter? That's very different than what we were talking about, but I see why you connected. I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Is that a bad correlation?

We were talking about cum. I saw a report where they say some guys... Whoa, Jesus. What is that? Who is that? Is that Kim Kardashian? That's Kim Kardashian. Sign me up.

Okay, is that a real ass? Yeah, it is. What's going on there? Yes. Are you sure? Yes. Are you sure? Yes.

Are you sure that hasn't been pumped up? No. I'm not sure. Hey, guess what? I don't care. Who cares? I do not care. That's her real ass.

Okay. And those are her real tits. Okay. Yeah, sign me up. Brian knows. This is my... So, whatever. Might as well be.

Let's make it. She's probably not even real. Life is probably a gigantic hallucination in the first place. A big hologram? Yeah. Some sort of mathematical program from space where we're on some computer simulation. But if that is the case, you're creating essentially everything with your imagination that exists all around you.

It's intense. So let's create her. Let her be live. Well, the point I was making, I saw a report where it says some guys are wired where they just can't be faithful. They're just not wired to be monogamous. I wonder if that has anything

to do with the same thing that they're talking about in this story with sperm being transferred from father to son. I wonder if that's the case. Because there's some things that they say, like the children of racists are almost inherently racist.

Not inherently racist, like unavoidably so, or they can't learn, but they'll tend to show racist tendencies more likely than someone who is an adopted child of someone who wasn't racist. Really? That's crazy. Well, I think they're trying now to figure out exactly what makes a human being.

We don't know yet. So when you see something like this with mice, and you've got to think, what's more complex, a mice or a person? A person's way more fucking complex. But if the underlying mechanisms like this, like what they're talking about. Fuck the mice, man.

Mice does nothing for me. But it doesn't. Because what if you were a guy and you got mugged by a black guy, and a black guy beat the shit out of you and took your wallet and then you had a kid and your kid just fucking shrieks every time it sees black people. I mean, that is real. That's the same mechanism that would keep – look, there's a reason why Rupert Sheldrake had this analogy about kids and monsters. Like why is every kid afraid of a monster? Even a kid who grows up in New York City. Like, you should be afraid of car accidents,

right? You should be afraid of floods. You should be afraid of a lot of shit that's real. But kids are afraid of a monster in the dark. Why? Because our ancestors got eaten by jaguars. Alright, we saw way, way back in the day before they figured out houses and spears. All that come made the people of today.

And all that stuff's in there. That's why some people have aphidiophobia. Some people have arachnophobia. They're afraid of snakes or they're afraid of spiders. And it is fucking paralyzing. Have you ever seen it? From an evolutionary point of view, in this book, Why Evolution is True, why are people afraid of snakes? And a lot of people, inherently,

from all over the place, are afraid of snakes. You take a fake snake, they've done all these experiments, right? Where people get killed by cars way more often. Why? Well, primates, when they see a snake, will climb a tree.

They're afraid of snakes. Good. Smart move. That's why they're still here. They think it's an evolutionary memory that human beings have carried from when, you know, back... Oh, really?

They did a whole fucking research where a guy... Listen, snakes are scary as shit. There's a reason though. No, yeah. Cause they have big little eyes and bite the shit out of me. Why aren't you afraid of cars? You see what he's doing here? I know.

He's panicking. He's afraid of knowledge. Why aren't you afraid of cars? I've been in car wrecks. No, you got into this thing right there where you're trying to anti-intellectualize the whole situation. You're like, this is just, you're watching us go back and forth. No, not at all, man.

Not at all. And you're like, yeah, they're fucking scary. Enough said. No, not at all. There's a reason, because a rattlesnake will bite you, correct? Shake its tail, bite you. How often have you seen a rattlesnake? Maybe once in your life.

Primates. Primates, you don't even know that. Primates don't even know that, and they climb a tree. Yeah, almost immediately. They see one, they start shrieking. Yeah, because the thing's going to bite you. Right, but they don't know that. We're talking about things that have never been exposed to snakes.

They don't have a book to read. Including people that have. They don't have videos to watch. They just see a snake and they go, whoa, I see it. They see a snake with these huge fangs and hissing at them. They don't see the fangs. They don't see the fangs. They don't know what that thing is.

It looks like a stick that moves. People have a natural. It's common sense. You don't touch a snake that's red and yellow. How would a monkey have common sense? Common sense. Brennan. common sense. Common sense is most likely genes.

Common sense would be way more afraid of cars because they kill way more people a year than do snakes, right? But people all over the globe. We know cars. People know snakes. Not really. What I'm saying is that we don't. That's why we're terrified of them.

What are you talking about? People don't know snakes? No, they don't. Wait a minute. Come on, man. People don't know snakes? No, they don't. Wait a minute. Come on, man. People don't know what a snake is? When's the last time you saw a snake? I saw a rattlesnake in my yard two days ago.

Well, good for you, Joe. You were around rattlesnakes all the time. Well, everybody is in L.A. L.A., if you have a yard, it's very possible that you have rattlesnakes. People don't know what snakes are the way they know what cars are. In Marina Del Rey, you know how many rattlesnakes there are? Zero. That's not true at all.

I haven't seen a rattlesnake in 10 years. When you go from your house to your car, trust me, you might not see a rattlesnake, but they're out there. There's probably a very small population in your neighborhood. The point I'm making, you're missing the point. Evolutionary scientists have realized that we have a natural, a human being seem to have universally a phobia of snakes. Because they have fangs and poisons. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, silly goose.

Hold on. They have a natural phobia of snakes, and what that is probably is an evolutionary memory. And Joe's talking about how you create fear memory through generations, and that is an example of that. Whether or not you're afraid of snakes, the point is that there are other things in life you should be way more afraid of and people are not because we don't have as long a memory of it and that's the argument from the evolutionary point of view.

No, the argument is... Listen, I get both arguments. Then why are people scared of aliens? Well, because they're scared of the unknown. We're not just only scared of things that we see that are scary because our grandfathers got bitten by one. We're also scared of the unknown. We're scared of the dark.

I think it's a good theory for sure, and it makes sense, but I think there's also some things where, listen, you know, if a predator walks in my room, I don't even be like, hey, man, what's up? Let's hang out. No, no. When children, when you go like this to children, they start crying. Little babies. That scared me.

Why though? Because it's a memory of being eaten Because it's a memory of being eaten. It's a memory of being eaten. So what they found is even infants, when you go, when you bury your teeth and go like this with your hands, you go and growl low noises for infants. That's why when men come into a room, a lot of times children, when they hear a low voice, especially when the person's talking loud, a man, they immediately are way more afraid of that than they are of, of a woman with a high voice.

Why is that? Why do they start crying at strange men? That is, according to a lot of evolutionary biologists, that is a memory that you're actually born with. And what's that called? Instinct, right? I mean, it's a type of instinct. Man, or the babies are scared because it's a giant-ass dude talking all loud.

You can just chalk it up to that. They're not afraid of TVs? No, no. Babies are afraid of a lot of shit. They're afraid of things that don't make sense, like a lady's hat with a fucking giant feather. They freak out because they think it's a poison snake. I get the point you're making, and I think it's true, but I also think

sometimes you just know. You know what I think? I think it's not either or. I think it's both. But what they're saying in this study is what's been proven in this study, though, is pretty unavoidable. If they're detecting the stress response to a very specific smell that they've created

that they associated with electric shocks and then the children have that same reaction, that's pretty much proof. But then how does this go back to a guy being faithful? Well, what I'm saying is the same thing with racism. I was saying that there's things that are even useless things that are passed on from generation to generation. And I think at least at one point in time, there was a time where the human race is probably in jeopardy. And it was probably ridiculous for one guy to have sex with one woman

and hope that the race was going to keep going. Everybody fucked as much as they could because half the babies got eaten by jaguars. I mean, what are the odds of a fleshy little fucking shitty designed human died of disease, survived, skin and fat build, animals, wolves, fucking everything can eat you until you figure out weapons. Then you have to band together, and that doesn't work out.

Look, it's a hard road for a long time for people to make it this far. Now it's so out of control that we're overwhelming. The population is overwhelming the resources of the planet and will continue to grow at this rate or an exponential rate. But a long time ago, man, it was tough to keep people alive. During the Roman times, it was a 50% infant mortality rate. 50%. If you had two kids, one of them was going to die for sure. And you just had to deal with that.

So they were just having sex with whoever. It was cool. They were mad-dogging it because they were trying to keep the race alive. You know, one of the things that they found when they were going over the Dead Sea Scrolls was that the Dead Sea Scrolls is the oldest stories of the Bible that are known. It's the only form of the Bible that's written in Aramaic, and they found it in these scrolls in Qumran. It was written on animal skins and left in these caves and these ceramic pots.

They found that a big part of what they were concerned with was fertility rituals. They were concerned with making sure that they breed, making sure that they carry on. I mean, this is, you know, we're talking like thousands and thousands of years ago. That's nothing, though, when you think about the fact that humans in this form have essentially been around for close to a million years. So for a long time, it was a hard, scrabble life where we might not fucking make it. And the only way we could make it is if we protect our territory and fuck every chick we can. We're just shooting loads into everybody.

So Miguel was like, let's do this. And those are the men that made it. The men that made it, the humans that made it, were the ones that had this evolutionary trait. And conversely, by the way. And you're saying that trait's carried on. Yes, well, that trait exists in primates, all primates. But I don't think it all. I don't think to all.

Yes, it does. Some still have it. No, it exists in all primates, every single primate. The only primate that's ever been observed to even try to be monogamous is a human being. All the monkeys, the gorillas have harems, and the gorillas have such a domination over the females that the females never cheat. So because of this, the gorillas' dicks have shrunk

to the size of an inch. That's too bad. Gorillas have tiny little dicks and tiny little balls. Tiny little dicks and balls. But chimp bitches are whores. Chimps are sluts. So chimps have giant balls and giant dicks. But not as big as humans. Human beings are the most promiscuous.

And there's a direct correlation between female promiscuity and male testicular size. Really? Yes. The bigger the balls, the more likely the male is surrounded by a bunch of hoo-as. Who love the dick. So your body recognizes this and the competition builds up. So you come more. You build up more.

There was a bunch of faulty conclusions reached by a book called Sperm Wars. And this book is basically, there was a lot of junk science attached to it. And a lot of it was about these killer sperm that attack sperm and kill them. But they've never been able to conclusively prove that sperm have any properties other than trying to get someone pregnant. There's never been proven that there's sperm that are attacking other sperm or any mechanism in which they kill other sperm, but what has been proven is your dick is shaped a certain way, okay?

And the big fat head at the end is a goddamn plunger. And like the evolutionary design, a dude's got a little dickhead. You ever see a porn and the guy's got a little head? You're like, this poor bastard. What are you going to do with that thing? Exactly. Because evolutionary, we look at that the same way we look at a big ass or big tits.

Like, that's not a good design. Like, look at that little fat dick with a little head. You're a mess. You're not plunging anything out of this dick. You can bang my girl. I'm not jealous. You're plunging. You're not plunging anything out of there. You can bang my girl. I'm not jealous. You're plunging. You're using this big fat dickhead,

the bigger the better, to squirt out all the other dude's sperm. And then with the hood of the hooker, it pulls it out. And then you shoot your own in there. This is intense. That's the design of the human being. Everyone's dick is a plunger.

A plunger and a hook. And that's real. of the human being. Everyone's dick is a plunger. Yeah, everyone's dick is a plunger. A plunger and a hook. And that's real. Are there any anteaters in here? Anyone have a hood hanging over their dick? Not me. Not me. No?

Me neither. Joey Diaz has one. You know what? We got chopped up. We got tortured. But in England, most of them have the hoods. I didn't know that. Well, it should be everywhere.

It's genital mutation. I mean, mutilation. I agree. It's a horrible, horrible thing. Because my coach, Tony Jeffries, in Santa Monica, he's having a baby. I said, man, if it's a horrible It really is Because my coach Tony Jeffries In Santa Monica He's having a baby I said man

If it's a boy You're going to cut the hood off Right Like it's weird To leave it on Apparently He goes No

He goes Who cuts their hood off I go Uh Everybody Haven't you ever seen a porno But they do say That you're better at

Keeping No studies No studies whatsoever All junk science All horse shit All propaganda. You know, a lot of it is... A religious thing, right?

It's a little bit of a religious thing, but it's also, I believe, that they're preparing for a giant backlash of babies who've had their dick sliced. Because if circumcision was proven to be genital mutilation and stopped, then guess what you open the door for? Lawsuits!

If everybody just decides to go apeshit on the American Medical Association or anybody who allowed essentially a non-beneficial genital mutilation to be the norm. To be the norm. Do you know what kind of backlash there is? I mean, this is not a propaganda or rather a conspiracy theory sort of an idea. This is the reality of what's going on. Genital mutilation on a wide scale that's completely unnecessary, that has no health benefits.

What's weird is in a locker room, NFL, college locker room, if you had a hood, you were the outcast. We made fun of your dick. But Tony was saying, England, if you didn't have a hood, you got made fun of. I bet. It's weird, right? Well, one's natural and the other's not, right?

Yeah, well, it's also like we were talking about with the plates and the lip and all that shit. It's just whatever the culture decides is the norm, and the culture's decided that cutting your dick is the norm. It has to hurt. It has to hurt the baby. I think, though, you have a better chance of not contacting, like,

gonorrhea and things like that. I think that's all false. There is no medical society in the world that has recognized any real health benefits to circumcision. It's all bullshit. Not only that, the risks include infection, hemorrhage, scarring, difficulty urinating, loss of part or all of the penis, and even death. Circumcision complications can also and do occur even if the best in the best clinical settings. I know your producer's back there, a little too smiley over there fellas. You got some hoods back there?

Not only that, more than one baby this decade has died in New York because the rabbis, these really heavy religious Jewish dudes insist on using the mohel who uses the traditional method of circumcision where they circumcise the baby and then suck its penis to stop the bleeding. And these rabbis have had herpes and given herpes

to the babies. They refuse to stop this because this is a religious procedure. There's mohels online, rabbis online, they're doing these videos on the Jewish name for what that procedure is and how it's written in the Torah, and this is why you should do it that way. I feel sick. And this is why it's a traditional way. Yeah. Could you imagine? Here's the test that the universe has given you. We're all following different patterns. I mean, Brian, you've got a nice golf shirt on.

I have Converse All-Stars. We're all following patterns, right? Here's the pattern. The pattern is there's a fucking ancient religion that was written back when people thought the world was flat. All the fucking rules were written down on animal skins and fucking chicken scratch that you can't even read today. And it says you could suck baby dicks.

You cut their dicks and then you suck them. Can you imagine? Imagine if that didn't exist and you tried suck baby dicks. You cut their dicks and then you suck them. Can you imagine? Imagine if that didn't exist and you tried to propose that to them. Is that true? Abso-fucking-lutely. I will show you a video. You want to see a video?

Yeah, but is that in the Old Testament? Play the video where the mohel explains about sucking a penis after circumcision. It's one of the most horrific things. Are you sure this isn't the internet? No, no, no, no, no. Ari told me too. I talked to Ari about it, who was raised incredibly religious. Ari studied the Torah

12 hours a day. He watched all this shit and he said, yeah, what the guy's saying is true. I don't know if he's seen it, but I bet it happened to him. One of the things that John Durant, who wrote the Paleo Manifesto, did my podcast, talked about was the Old Testament with the obsession of washing. He calls Moses the first microbiologist, the idea of a guy who – they were obsessed with keeping things clean.

I don't know. Find out if the guy is talking about it. I mean read the descriptions or listen to it. The guy is talking about sucking on a penis. I'll tell you right now. Just pull up circumcision rabbi sucking penis. I bet you'll find it. Doctor – I don't have any kids.

If I did and doctor touched my kid's dick, he's getting... Well, a doctor is supposed to touch a kid's dick to make sure everything's okay. Not with his mouth, son. This guy, first of all, A, he's not a doctor. He's a fucking religious nut. He's a cult member. That's what that guy is. I mean, if there was no religion...

That's extreme. That's not extreme at all. If there was no religion, if religion didn't exist, and some guy came along and dressed like a fucking spaceman and wanted to suck baby dicks, he'd be like, well, that guy's an occult. But because it's around for a thousand years, it's not a cult. Oh, it's a religion.

It's a fucking cult. Anytime you can get people to adhere to an ideology, that you have to look to the stars to find your fucking answers and some magical man who has rules like not mixing meat with milk and cut and baby dick. A lot of those rules, John Durant just wrote this book, a lot of those rules were very practical back in the day. Not eating pork was because you didn't want to get trichinosis. Exactly.

Sexual laws, the restrictions on sex were just because you didn't want to catch syphilis and things back in the day. There's no cutting and baby dick sense. I don't know anything about that. Cutting, sucking, baby dick, all that doesn't work. I know that comes from Moses when he cut his own penis to show his subservience to God in the Old Testament. That's a very weird way to show your subservience. Speaking of penis, have you ever had a friend break a dick?

Moses, I've heard of that before. I've never had a friend break a dick. I had to rush him to the emergency room. Oh, my God. Rush him to the emergency room. Does it ever get fixed totally, or is it always kind of hooked? It kind of, yeah, curves to the left a little bit. Wow.

His balls, literally, internal bleeding filled up. Oh, my God. Looked like purple gecko skin. That's why you got to be careful with crazy bitches. You got to get double underhooks on crazy bitch. You do, man. If a crazy bitch is riding you, you got to hold their ass, but like a firm Muay Thai. You know how you've got that plum?

You can't just do this because if you do this, there's too much lateral room. Keep her down. Maybe gable grip, the lower hips. That's a good move, too. My buddy is huge. You've met this guy. I'm not going to say his name. This guy is 6'6",

270, shred. People are going to figure out who he is. Nah'm not going to say his name on air. This guy's 6'6", 270, shredder. I'm giving away his weight. People are going to figure out who he is. Nah, they won't figure out who he is. So he tells me, he goes, bro, this girl wants it so hard. He goes, I don't know what to do. I go, how hard? He goes, I'm going to film it next time.

So he films it, and it's one of the most disturbing videos I've ever seen. I mean, he's getting air, Like, wham! Wham! I'm like, dang. A week later, he calls me and goes, dude, get over here. I rush over. He's on the ground, butt naked. What's the matter? He goes, that video I showed you, I was backing up, missed.

My penis hit her ass cheek. Broke his dick. Oh my god! So this is what I tell him I go bro This is an easy fix Right I've I've no idea how to handle this Dr. Schaub

Yeah Dr. Schaub in the house Big brown Dr. Schaub in the house I go this is an easy fix I'm gonna step out of the room You put a little porno on You get erect We're just gonna line it right back up Line it right back up

Just like you fix a broken nose Right That's hilarious That's a great strategy Right Right It makes sense That's a great strategy. Right? Right? It makes sense. That's a great strategy.

I walk out of the room. Ten minutes later, I hear, oh! I'm like, oh, shit. So I call my doctor, buddy. I'm like, yo, man. My buddy was hooking up with this girl. Broke his dick. He goes, well, are his testicles big?

I go, yeah, man, they're pretty big. I go, let me see your testicles, man. Shows me. These things are the size of a grapefruit and looks like gecko purple dotted skin all over. You've got to get to the doctor. I brushed them in the merch room because of internal bleeding. And people thought we were just two gays. Two giant gay men.

Two giant gay men. Both big dudes. I'm not making this up. I wish I could make this up. He's straddled in a gurney like this, right? He's like this. Thing's hanging down. It's filling up.

Talking to the mic. This nurse comes in. Hey, boys. Flaming, flaming gay guy, right? Which is whatever. I'm cool with that. Right. Legs up in a straddle.

If this is his broken penis, this dude's like this. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, this is pretty bad. Listen, we'll get a doctor and we'll be right back. And he's doing that to his balls? Yes. And I'm like, what is going on

here? Leaves. Doc comes in. Old dude. I'm like, oh, thank God. Doc comes in. He goes, yeah, man, this is really bad. The nurse was kind of grabbing him, man, and saying how bad he is. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. A nurse physically touched his penis?

I go, touched? It was like a freaking telescope. This guy was, I mean, nose deep on his dick. And he goes, wow, I need to get the name of that guy because that is not code here. That guy just came in a dick scam. Yeah, he did. He's not even a nurse. He was probably not even a nurse.

Let me borrow that white jacket. I'll give you $500 for that white jacket. He's got an app on his phone, and when anybody gets administered to the hospital with a broken dick, he fucking shows up, puts on his lab coat. This urologist comes in, and I go, I got to be honest, man.

How did you get into basically majoring in dicks? What road did you go down? And he said, in Egypt, there's some place in Egypt where there's a religion. They might be Muslim, I'm not sure, but they get erections. They think it's Satan's work and they break their dick. That's not

Muslim religion. That might be... No, it's an extremist Muslim religion. You're saying they're Muslim. It just sounds like a dumb person who... Well, whatever it is, it's another crazy cult. But he was saying, and these guys need help, so he got into it because he was exposed to it. So these guys think it's Satan's work, the devil's work.

They get erections, snap their dicks, and a lot of them die from internal bleeding. They rush doctors down there. So most urologists go down to this part of the world to fix it. That's God. Anyways, my buddy, he's all good now. They updated my friend. All good.

They gave him pills so he couldn't get an erection for six weeks, and his dick was in a splint. Really? A splint? A splint. So now it just has a hook. Yeah. A slight hook or a big one? Is it noticeable? Oh And it's because So now it just has a hook Yeah A slight hook Or a big one Is it noticeable

It's not Oh it's definitely noticeable What's that operation You can cut the tendon And it makes your dick longer But sometimes your dick Gets hard Your dick gets hard

And it goes straight down Sometimes That was the complication How much longer Could it make it You gotta jerk off downward Huh How much longer

Could it make it An inch Like an inch Is your dick that small Yeah An inch to two inches. Is your dick that small? Yeah, an inch to two inches. You can cut a tendon that will actually

create more length to your dick, but the problem was that for whatever reason the tendon is one of the instrumental tendons in keeping it very erect.

You would think they would build some sort of implant for that by now. They have implants for everything else. People are so fucking weird. We're so weird

that we'd be willing to cut our dick to stretch it out an inch. Well, you know, guys, if you could get fake dicks like the way women get fake tits, guys would be walking around

with 15-inch dicks. No, they wouldn't because women wouldn't want it. See, there's a big difference. That's why guys aren't allowed to wear toupees and girls can wear wigs. We don't give a fuck.

Girls can have fake tits. Who cares? If a guy has fake shoulders, imagine if a guy was walking around with fucking fake shoulders and you're like, oh my God, I love your shoulders. And you're like, squinch, squinch.

They're like fucking fake tits. They sell shirts like that. They sell shirts like that. They do? Yeah. They sell shirts? They have shirts. You've looked into it.

You've looked into it. I did a World's Dumbest and it was one of the inventions. Oh, that's hilarious. But I sell them. Well, they have pants that women wear that suck everything tight to their ass. Sure. Spanx. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what they're called, right? They're all made in millions. But isn't that crazy? Women can have fake tits. Women can have a lot of fake things. Hair extensions. Does not bother me at all.

We don't care because we're trying to fuck as many of them as possible. That's what the monkey DNA wants to do. Yeah. So when the monkey has no problem with the fake tits, they're like, that's great for now. Let's go. Or they're like, hey, I like it. It fucking sticks out the way I like it. Your DNA is so scrambled.

Whereas the woman looks at you with your fake shoulders like, oh, this weak shit. Motherfucker can't even grow a shoulder. Oh, you're not coming in me. Women want utility. You've got to be able to get the job done. They want utility. Men like things

that are static, that look good, that we can grab and fuck. But women need... I'm saying evolutionarily, I would imagine women need... You gotta go out there and actually hunt something

while I'm taking care of the kids. And if you got fake shoulders, they're gonna help you catch that deer shit. Not only that, you're like a weak person that's not able to completely look at reality.

I think that this is why you can see a hot chick with a pretty crappy dude. You know what I'm saying? You never can see a great looking dude with a real fat or ugly girl. That's true. That's weird. You can see what you do if he's gay, but you also see these guys that are with these girls and the girl is like way better looking than the guy younger probably yeah he's a sugar daddy yeah you see that a lot yeah but a lot of

times women are attracted i would never date a girl something like if a guy's really good at something and he's not that good looking women find that very attractive so you get a guy who's someone's older no but you get a guy someone's really... Someone's older. No, I mean, if you're like really funny, you got really good skill, man, you can still get those young girls and they're naturally into you. Wrong! Wrong! Because Billie, who works at the arcade, who's jacked, has no skill.

She's going to take Billie that works at the arcade over you who has a skill. You say that, but then you see David Spade with a dime. Because he's funny. Right. Yeah. And he's also rich in fame.

Funny, rich, you know, good at something. Fame's tough. Fame is different. Fame's different. There are a lot of good rock and rollers. That's when you get the chicken heads. There are a lot of guys. That's where chicken heads come in.

There are a lot of guys not good looking, they can play. Yeah, chicken heads. What's that mean? Chicken heads, like girls, just fame, you know, girl. They're just bimbos, you know what I'm saying? Oh, chicken heads. Chicken heads. But you said that as if we would know what you mean. Oh, girl. There's bimbos, you know what I'm saying? Oh, chicken heads. Chicken heads. But you said that as if we would know what you mean.

Oh, yeah. I thought you would. Did you know what he meant? Chicken heads? I've heard him use the expression before, but it is a weird expression. Chicken head is a female who likes cock. A female who likes giving head. This is in the Urban Dictionary.

Chicken. A dance move. Bobbing up and down like a chicken, and it's a dance move. Okay. Well, Brendan Schaub's got his own definition of chicken head. There you go. I get it. But if a guy can play the guitar really well and he's not that good looking, he's getting

laid. Amy Schumer had a strange thing we were talking about last night, being a girl. She was talking about how being a girl sucks because you have an expiration date on the time where people want to fuck you. For sure. And it's running. It's like a clock that's running from the moment you realize that sex is important till nobody wants to fuck you anymore.

Ready? Go. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. I heard my grandmother talking about how devastating it was the first time she realized men stopped looking at her. Dang. She said she realized she was finally old when she walked by a group of construction workers

and not one of them looked up. Whoa. And she said that was when... And she was with other older women and they all went, yep, I remember that day too. I remember that day. Dang, that's sad. And I remember my heart broke when I was about 15 or 16.

I remember looking at them and I went, man, that's a tough, that's a tough day. Meanwhile, Sophia Loren. I had some girl tell me, don't waste my time because I'm in my prime. I have three more years left. That's what some girl told me. She's smart. Don't waste my time because I'm in my prime. I have three more years left. That's what some girls are like. She's smart. Don't waste my time. I had a girl tell me I wasted

a year of my life with you when I didn't want to keep dating. I was like, okay. Now you just totally let me know that I made the right decision. When they say that, yes. I thought we dated and went to dinner and had a lot of fun and I thought, just like all my other friends, I enjoyed your company. I didn't know that you were

investing. Yeah. We're fucking in our 20 company. I didn't know that you were investing. Yeah. We're fucking in our 20s. I was like 23 or something like that. I was like, I wasted a year. Jesus Christ, this is crazy. Because a lot of girls are raised to think you've got to. Even my own mother, who's a really smart woman, said to my sister when she went to get her MBA. She went, hey, listen, you're going to get your MBA.

That's great. Work on your MRS as well. What's that? Your missus. Oh, missus? Oh, God. What a shit advice. I tell Brian all the time.

Well, we talk about this. Me and Brian talk about relationships all the time. I'll talk to Brian how I'm like, man, I'm a little stressed out. Shouldn't I be having kids or doing something here? Shouldn't I be coming home with a wife, making food and stuff? And Brian goes, no, man, that's what society wants you to do. That's the norm. That's what everyone wants you to do that's the norm that's what everyone wants you to do yeah I've had this

conversation with people who asked me because they know I love having kids and they go do you think that everyone should have a kid if I didn't have a kid would I still be happy and I said absolutely not everybody shouldn't have a kid I go you can be a great person have a great life in fact a great amount of people around you'd be a joy to be around. Contribute every step of the way. Be a great example. Inspire people. And never have kids.

100%. You don't have to. 100%. It doesn't make you better, but people take this goddamn self-righteous attitude when they do have kids. And I resent it. Me too. And I have kids. And I love my kids.

Me too. I would never trade being a father for anything. It's a fantastic experience. But have a kid when you are ready and have a kid if you feel something is missing. Or don't. How about this? Or don't. It doesn't matter. It's a great thing for me. I enjoy it but you don't have to. I know a lot like my

friend Chris Ryan. Dr. Chris Ryan who wrote Sex at Dawn. He made a conscious decision when he was younger. No kids. He wanted to travel the world. He lived in Barcelona. I mean he wrote books. He kids. He wanted to travel the world. He lived in Barcelona. I mean, he wrote books. He decided he had a life that he wanted to live. You ready for this? Pisses me off when people don't like kids. Really?

Why? No, my brother doesn't like kids and it drives me nuts. Why does it drive you nuts? Because he loves them. Give something back, man. You're put on this earth to procreate. Give something back. Oh, I don't know about all that. Why are you put on this earth to procreate? Okay, my friend Chris Ryan. For the exact same reason, homeboy, before they're all dying. Not everybody has that much to offer.

So some people may, like, how about somebody who is basically unhappy with their life? Should they have kids? Or if they don't have anything to offer. Damn it. Too much Stevia again. Yeah, watch how I do, bro. This is like the super stuff. That's what I do.

There's more of these. Grab another one. The whole formula, man. Grab another one, man. Cal and I can drink all this. He doesn't even drink it. He gave up already. He's falling asleep. That's what I do. There's more of these. Grab another one. The whole formula, man. Grab another one, man. Cal and I couldn't drink all this. He doesn't even drink it. He gave up already. He's falling asleep.

Look at him over there. I'm all like sensitive. I have one cup. I feel shaky. I know what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? You think that there's a good thing to do if you're a good person. Well, I just don't like people like, well, I like clothes.

I like shopping. I like my vacations. I don't want kids. Why is that bad? You know what? Lose my number. You're not my friend anymore. Whoa. How dare you? Yeah. But why is that bad? Why do you care what other people like? I I like shopping. I like my vacations. I don't want kids. Why is that bad? You know what? Lose my number. You're not my friend anymore. Whoa.

How dare you? Yeah. But why is that bad? Why do you care what other people like and don't like? I don't know. It bothers me. That doesn't make any sense. Especially if they're close to me.

You know what drives me nuts, man? If people hate kids. Yes. And there's something about women hating kids. I wrote this on Twitter once that I view women who don't like kids the same way I view dogs who like to eat their own shit. And then this male feminist guy wrote this huge blog about it. That's a pretty aggressive thing to say.

I should have said hate. I said don't like. So he connected it to the only reason why a woman exists in his world is to have children. Like, they added a bunch of stupid shit that I don't believe at all to reinforce this idiotic point. You're writing a blog about a tweet, you fucking idiot. True. You know, that's what you're doing. By the way, he's an academic, too.

First of all, for you singles out there, red flags if a girl likes cats, doesn't like dogs, and doesn't like kids. All red flags. Carry on. In some people's lives, it's a good thing. If you want a chick that doesn't like kids and you don't like kids, it's fine.

If she doesn't like kids, she's probably pretty selfish, my man. Could be. You're right. No, no. Most be. You're right. No, no. 100%. Most likely. Most likely, you're right. Or she's into something, or she's just into what she's into.

Or she's into yoga and makes $8 a day. I mean, who? Look, not everybody has to want children. Well, yeah, it could be also that she has some sort of a really demanding occupation. She could be a doctor. Or she had a really bad childhood. Or she had a really bad childhood. Or she had a really bad childhood.

Okay. Again, you guys are talking about the exception. In general. In general. If you say someone who has a really good career or a demanding career today, that's not really the exception that much. There's a lot of women who have very demanding careers today. Yeah. And very fulfilling careers.

You don't run into them? I do. Look at Brenda. I just farted. You know what? In L.A., yeah, they're everywhere. I meet a model, actress. Listen to what you just said right there.

What are you pulling from? You're not getting regular women. Well, I live in L.A., man. I understand. Well, there's another one. I get what you're saying. Let's broaden our horizons and try, even though we're three men here. I'm talking from Brendan Schaub and Marina Del Rey.

I'm not talking about from the world. And Brendan Schaub and Marina Del Rey look at people that don't want to have kids and it's like, fuck you. Lose my number. There you go. There you go. There you go. 100%.

And Brendan Schaub, she goes, hey, I'm Kelly. I love cats. I have eight cats. I hate kids and I hate dogs. I'm like, cool. Over. Red flag. Yeah. kids and I hate dogs. I'm like, cool. Over. Red flag. That's a little extreme.

That not liking dogs thing is a weird thing because it's like, unless you're allergic to them, that I understand. I agree. But if it's like a nurture thing, like you don't like animals that like you or need you. I like my cat because I can push it away. It never cries. I just leave food. Yeah, that's a different.

I go out of town for the weekend. That's a personality trait. I just leave food. That's a personality trait like i love dogs what somebody one time explained to me what a dog is and they were taught i read this article about how dogs evolved to be really friendly yeah and that's how they manipulate cosmos it was like cosmos and when i read that i went i was like maybe i don't like my dog as much as i used to i used to really like be like my dog's like a human i talked to him to him. Now I'm like, you're a dog. You're manipulating me.

I'm not manipulating you. They're born to shitty circumstances. For a little while, I lost a little of my affection. I love dogs. I'll never not have dogs. My wife's allergic to dogs. I'm like, tough shit. We're having dogs. We'll have dogs. Does she take medication or shots? No, she just doesn't hug them.

As long as she doesn't hug them, it's fine. It's not severe. Really? Yeah, and if she hugs them, she just gets red marks on her arms. It's very common. Oh, that's not bad. No, but some people, man, like Gary Valentine, a buddy of mine. You know Gary? Comic? He couldn't come over to my house because I have cats.

Oh, yeah. Oh, you have cats? I have cats and dogs. Dang, Doug. Yeah, I love animals. I do, too, but not cats. You don't like cats? I'm allergic to them.

Oh, well, there you go. I never had a cat. Gary couldn't even walk in the house. His pipe would start shrinking up. Couldn't breathe. Hee, hee, hee, hee. Wow. Can you talk about, like, and make them whistle?

Yeah, I can't touch my eyes. If I came over to your house, I can't touch my face. My eyes are swollen shut. Wow. I'm allergic to nothing. How about think about that? What a weird response that is. Normal shit for other people people like a bag of

peanuts given to some people and it's death well well how about i was eating a lot of brazil nuts and then for whatever reason but the inside of my mouth no well yeah not me really not me get this the inside of my mouth would swell up to the point where i was like why why is the inside of my mouth literally and it got worse and worse and then i I was like, what the hell is going on? So my mother comes over, and she goes, those are Brazil nuts. I go, yeah. She goes, do you know if I eat one, I would die? And I went, what do you mean?

She goes, I can't even eat. She said, no, she ate half a Brazil nut that was in a salad a long time ago, and she had to be rushed to the hospital. Why didn't this bitch tell you? Right. Sorry to call your mom a bitch. What I realized was that I- That's not what I really mean.

I'm clearly allergic to Brazil nuts and I was wolfing down. I mean, wolfing down. At least partially. Yeah, partially. You probably don't have it as bad as her. No, but when you lack, I guess, an enzyme for certain nuts or whatever, you can die. Yeah, Brazil nuts are high in zinc, I think. Have you ever had your blood type tested for what you're allergic

to? I want to do my genome. I did a whole diet where they test your blood type to see what you're allergic to and said I'm allergic to egg yolk and that's really it. Yeah, nuts. That's crazy. Brazil nuts actually can increase your testosterone. That's why I was eating them. The trainer

told me to take them in my shake. Really? Yeah. A mass amount of them? No, seven. Supposedly super fucking healthy for you. It says it's selenium, apparently. Also, it helps lower your LDL or bad cholesterol, reduces the incidence of blood clots and heart disease. If I eat a shitload of Brazilian nuts, are they going to be like...

Don't eat a lot of nuts. Brendan tested positive for Brazilian nuts. Don't eat a lot of nuts. Well, it for Brazilian nuts. Don't eat a lot of nuts. Well, it says here they actually caution limiting yourself to no more than two Brazil nuts per day because they are so loaded and concentrated with selenium that you don't want to overdose. Right. Copper and selenium are very important minerals, but with minerals, like, balance is really key. Right.

Because you've got to be real careful with, like, overdosing certain minerals. Well, if I come across Brazilian nuts, I'll take this into account, fellas. Dose. Dose daily. They were selling these megavitamins. This guy was talking about how they were selling vitamin E tablets, gel caps. And it was over 3,000 milligrams. And the guy said, you'd have to eat 1,500 almonds to get that much vitamin E.

That's too much. It's just too much. You've got to be careful. That's a lot of vitamins. Yeah, you got to be careful. You got to be careful. You can't be an idiot. Yeah.

It's pretty basic. But it's easy to be an idiot. Yeah. It's easy to be an idiot. You know, that's what's really weird about the supplement business. Like, it's very tricky. Like, what affects certain people doesn't affect other people. Like, with AlphaBrain, for instance, when we first put alpha brain out, we had slightly different ingredients because some people had an

adverse reaction. They would get like a headache when they would take, it wasn't a dangerous thing, but it was enough for like, Hmm, this is, we got to back this down a little bit. And so you, you got to be careful with like certain reactions that some people have, you know, like you with cats, like you with peanuts, like that's the thing when it comes to vaccinations, like everybody talks about vaccinations, like you're either in the camp of you believe that vaccinations are evil and they cause autism, or you're in the camp that those people are idiots and they're dangerous. And then these anti-vaccine people are really making all these diseases like measles show up in New York City again. But the reality is that the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Because yes, vaccines are super important.

They're the reason why we don't have a lot of infectious diseases that wrecked havoc. And there's science behind them. And it's fascinating the human beings have figured out how to create these things that fight off diseases. But some people are going to have adverse reactions to everything. That's the reality of medication. That's the reality of foods. That's the reality to environment. There's some people

that can't live in the desert. A very small number. You're right. We're dealing with the masses. But you're dealing with 300 million people. For sure, but when you're trying to make money on a supplement. When you have those small people, but what I'm saying is, when you have the small amount of people, if you have 300 million people and all of them get vaccinated, you're going to have 100 people, 1,000 people.

You're going to have all these examples of things that went wrong. And people look at that and go, well, look, there's so many people where things are going wrong. But what you're not thinking about is the just sheer numbers of people kept from being diseased. Sheer numbers of people that we being diseased. Sheer numbers of people. How we contain polio. They think smallpox probably killed 500 million people throughout history. Yeah, unbelievable. And it's no longer around.

And we squashed it out through vaccinations. Polio put so many children on iron lungs and in wheelchairs. And not only that, they did it in our grandparents' lifetime. That's right. Incredible, incredible discoveries have been made by science. But it doesn't mean that some people –

Don't have an adverse reaction. Some people are going to eat peanuts and they shouldn't. They're going to die. It's going to happen every year. Every year, more than 1,000 people die from aspirin. They take aspirin and they die. And when you take supplements, make sure you look into the data because a lot of this stuff is not regulated. So if you're going to take massive doses of whatever it might be, make sure you take a look at the data.

Take a look at the double-blind studies. See if it bears out. Well, not only that. There's a way to test this stuff. It's also when you get a supplement, like say if you're running a supplement company and you're buying vitamin B12. Okay? You've got to fucking test the vitamin B12 you get from the source. Whatever it is.

Vitamin D. Whatever you is, vitamin D, whatever you're getting, you have to test it. You have to test it independently because with AlphaBrain we've had to make sure, we've had in the past, we had problems with manufacturers having bad mixtures.

When you say calcium from bone meal has a great deal of lead in it or something like that. I think it's lead. What is alpha-brane? They were finding crazy amounts of lead in bone meal for whatever reason. I can't remember if that's the exact thing, but it was a case, a lawsuit. And the vitamin company was brought up on charges because the source of where they were getting their calcium was very heavy in, I believe it was lead. Wow.

A certain metal, yeah. So you've got to know where it's sourced from, and you've got to know what your body is like. It's so hard to tell what the fuck's going on in your body. I told you I was having that problem with, I had arsenic in my blood. It turned out it was from sardines. Dang.

You must have been eating a shitload of sardines. He did. He's eating a lot of sardines. Take it easy on the sardines, kid. Every scientist I've had, like I've talked to on the podcast and stuff says, they always come down to one thing. None of them say meat's bad for you. Can I take these?

Yeah, yeah, take them all. I take four. Yeah. I'm going to get you some of the Shroom Tech. Shroom Tech's some fascinating shit. Shroom Tech? Shroom Tech Sport, yeah. It's all cordyceps mushroom.

It's all oxygen utilization. I'll show you all the data behind it and send it to you. It was all developed for the Chinese Olympic team. Really? Yeah. Fascinating stuff. They found it in high altitude herding populations as animals that would eat these mushrooms would be more active. And so the people started observing it and they started

cultivating it. Well, it sounds from hearing you guys talk, it sounds like it should hire you as my nutritionist. I told you about this lady. You have a good nutritionist? Uh, no, Joe. No, I don't. This is great. No, I don't. I should hire you as my nutritionist. I told you about this lady. You have a good nutritionist? No, Joe. No, I don't. This is great.

No, I don't. Actually, I don't. This is a great story. I was recommended to this lady. I'm not going to say her name or where she's at. I was recommended to this lady. She goes, yeah, so this is what we do. And she goes, what are you looking to do? I go, I love to eat clean.

I feel good eating clean. I'm not looking to lose weight. I want to stay the same way. I just like to eat healthy. Perfect. I deal with a lot of high-level athletes. I got you. I'm not making this shit up.

I showed Brian. This bitch gave me chili cheese fries for breakfast. Chili cheese fries and rice was for my breakfast. I took a picture of it, emailed her. I said, I think my order got messed up. Because you got to pick up your meals, right? said, I think my order got messed up Because you've got to pick up your meals, right? I think the order got messed up There's cheese and chili

All over some fries For my breakfast She goes, you have a busy day of training You're going to need the calories She lasted for a week Why did you keep her for a week? What about the meeting? The first day

Chili cheese fries. Chili cheese fries. Fucking crazy bitch. Crazy bitch, yeah. And by the way, in the mail? In the mail? My chili cheese fries better be fresh. I don't want them in the mail.

They don't put them in the mail. They deliver them. I get meals delivered. When did you cook them? Three hours earlier? No. I get meals delivered. Do you sunfare?

You sunfare? No, I use a private company. It's a small company. Yeah, sunfare is delicious. Some woman runs it. She had a job as a, I small company. Yeah, Sunfair is delicious. She runs it. She had a job as a... I forgot what it was, but she got fired or what have you, and she starts

her own food business. She starts cooking for her friends. I got chili cheese fries. I fired her. And then we didn't mix right from the start. Right when we started, she goes, I was in a rush, right? I'm like, yeah, I'm here to pick up my meals, blah, blah, blah. She's like, well, can we just sit down for a while?

I'm like, sure. So she's like, well, you got to sign this contract. I'm going over it. It's like, hi, Brendan Schaub for the next 37 days. Will not eat junk food. I'm like, yeah, whatever. Will not drink soda. Cool, I don't drink soda.

Third one down. Will not drink coffee. Oh, skip that one. Keep going. Will not, will not, cool. And she's looking at it, well not drink coffee. I don't skip that one. Keep going. Well, not, well, not cool. And she's looking at it, going through the page. She goes, okay, we're good. Oh, you missed one right here. And I go, yeah, you're talking about the coffee one. She goes, yeah, I go, that ain't happening. She goes, excuse me. I go, I mean, we can get into this if you want, but there's clinical studies that show coffee helps out with workouts. And I mean, it's not bad for you if you do in moderation.

She goes, well, then I don't know. I go, well, I'll tell you right now. It's not going to work out. I'll walk at it right now. And she goes, all right, I'll make one exception. And then just right there, I was like, God, this is not going good. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I don't work with her anymore. Long story short, she got fired. Chili cheese fries should have fired her. That shit's ridiculous. You should be eating fruit and vegetables, not chili fucking cheese fries. Chili cheese fries with rice. Because she said I needed the calories. Oh, my God.

She's so retarded. This is pre-workout. Has she ever worked out hard a day in her life? Do you know what kind of throw up and shit would come out of your body if you ate chili cheese fries and then did like a strength and conditioning workout, did box jumps and kettlebells and battle ropes with With chili running through your bowels. You ready for this? Good luck.

I have to be one of the only heavyweights who's on a diet like this. It's called the alpha diet. I don't eat breakfast. I do bulletproof coffee and MCT oil and I hit the ground running. I don't eat until about 2. You juice though, right? Don't you juice in the morning? Vegetable juice, yeah.

Oh, well that's something too. And you'd be amazing how much butter and MCT oil. The reason why this bulletproof blend works is because you have the healthy fats connected to the caffeine. It's a slow burn of the caffeine. But you can't get over the actual calories. Someone should take one of these things

and find out how much a thermos of this bitch is calorically with that much butter and that much mct oil i bet it's quite a bit oh yeah eating a funk on hunk of butter takes you a while for your body to digest those fats yeah but that's what i'm burning though you could burn like it's a great way to work out like to drink that stuff in the morning because you feel full you have energy and yet you still get a good workout in. What about drinking? What about eating a sugar source before you work out? Like what would be good?

Fruits. Nothing's better than fruits. So not pancakes or something like that. No, no, no, no, no. That's terrible for you. Pancakes or gluten. I'll eat some pancakes or some chili cheese fries. Even if you're doing endurance sports? Gluten is a tricky thing, man,

because if you have a bad reaction to gluten, you're going to have all sorts of issues. And even if you don't have a bad reaction to gluten, the studies are showing pretty clearly that it causes inflammation. And you may be fine, but with a lot of people, you get this bloated appearance. Like, I've

seen people go from wheat to no wheat, and then their face shrinks in, their body looks different. It's like your body's inflamed, and it's a lot of weird calories. It's calories where your body's breaking down glue. It tastes great. I love lasagna. I love pasta.

I love delicious bread. I don't either. It's great. You go to a restaurant, Italian restaurant, and they bring over that bread, and you smell it, and you put some butter on that. Me and Brian like a nice cheese plate. A little bread, a little cheese plate. Cheese plate's great. You go to a restaurant, Italian restaurant, they bring over that bread and you smell it and you put some butter on that. Me and Brian like a nice cheese plate. A little bread, a little cheese plate. Cheese plate's nice. Yeah, it is.

The problem is gluten is just not a smart choice. If you're thinking about what you're going to put in your body, why fuck around with that? You could have lettuce and you can have all sorts of delicious greens and you can have fresh meats. You're going to have a good, your body's going to have good nutrients. It's going to have what it needs. When you're having gluten or pasta or anything like that, you're just giving it a nice, delicious

taste. And if that's what you're cool with, that's cool. You know, you're just out on a date, want to have a delicious meal. But if you want performance food for your body, you really shouldn't fuck with anything that's complicated. You want it clean. Yeah. Burn it.

Exactly. Sweet potatoes. Chicken breasts, sweet potatoes, yams, fish. You know, if you can get some game, you get some fucking deer, buffalo. You know what else is good? Lamb. Brian, shut up. What did you guys hunt?

Deer. Deer. Deer. So good. Brian, shut up about it. So good. So rich in nutrients and vitamins. Never had it.

So low in cholesterol. A whole roast, dude. I'll make a roast. You tell me this. An elk steak, a 12-ounce elk steak, has less cholesterol than a 12-ounce chicken breast. He does shit on that steak. Nothing better than elk steak.

It's so good for you, too. It tastes so good. It's almost got a sweet taste to it. It's a dark red meat. Dang. Oh, elk tenderloin on a grill. It's so good. Steve Brunel is eating every meat,

including mountain lion. And he goes, you see my a grill? It's so good. Steve Brunel has eaten every meat, including mountain lion. Elk's the best. And he goes, yeah, he said if I had to eat one meat every day, it'd be elk. Yeah, a lot of people think that. And it's a giant animal. Never had elk. You should be a hunter. You'd love it.

Nah, man, I hate it. I sent a picture of the deer I shot. You don't have to go done. We could use bow and arrow. I'd be down for that. Do it like a man. Would you be down for that? Oh, yeah. Let's do it. The three of done. We could use bow and arrow. I'd be down for that. Do it like a man. Will you be down for that? Oh, yeah. Let's do it.

The three of us, bow hunting, Tohon Ranch. I'd be down for that. I bet you would be down for that. Naked and afraid, too. I'm doing this thing. Are we naked? I'm doing this thing. No, no, no.

We're going to wear our clothes. No, have you ever seen Naked and Afraid? I'm going to wear extra clothes just because you said that. Have you ever seen Naked and Afraid? Yes, I have. I love it. I think I would wreck shop on that show. I think you'd do fine until you got your dick bit by a spider, and then you'd cry.

There you go. No. Because I'm covering myself in mud. Tohono Ranch, hour and a half north of here. We stay for a weekend. We film it. We go pig hunting with bows and arrows. Let's do it.

I'm so down. Are you down? Wait, just for two days, though, right? Two days. Yeah, I'm down. Saturday and Sunday. He doesn't do nature for a while. And then we spot.

Hey, and then we spot on Sunday. Huh, fellas? Spot? Spot each other lifting? No, spa. Spa. Oh, spa. Hot tub, facials.

I got confused. You know he's a prima donna. He'll be like, if he goes, one of the toughest guys on the planet, he misses a meal. If he's a half hour late to a meal, he's like this. I'm lightheaded, man. I'm starving. Well, you got to think of what he's doing with his body. All day. You can't even imagine. I'm chilly. I'm cold. You guys cold? Yeah, I'm a sheaded, man. I'm starving. Well, you got to think of what he's doing with his body. All day.

You can't even imagine. I'm chilly. I'm cold. You guys cold? Yeah, I'm a sissy, man. He's a sissy. You can't imagine how fucking much he works out. I know.

You don't take that into consideration? No, I don't. Brian, who I work out all the time. Once a week, he might get in a workout. Once a week. And he probably Instagrams it. I work out. I just work out moderately. You might work out once a week. You might get in a workout. Once a week. And he probably Instagrams it. I work out. I just work out moderately.

You might work out once a week. You might go a month. He's the guy on Instagram that posts beast mode. How many days have you gone the longest without any workout at all? I work out every single day. The fuck away from me. Without question, I work out. I'll come to your house and find you not working out and kill you.

All right, all right. How about this? I bet you work out twice a week. I don't work out every day. You box twice a week. No, but I work out, too. You don't work out every day. I don't ever work out every day. You box twice a week. No, but I work out, too. You don't work out every day. I don't ever work out every day.

Nobody works out every day. You need days off. Well, I take Sunday off. Sunday is my only day. I do something almost every day. Oh, almost. Now it's almost. Yeah, I do.

It used to be I worked out every day. I'll tell you what, though. Brian's footwork is impressive. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. His footwork's impressive, but I saw it, I was impressed. Thank you, buddy. He's a dancer.

I'm a dancer. He is. All you have to do is just teach him different moves. Built for dance. Move his feet around. That's it. He's got an ollie shuffle. Tony's a good teacher, man.

Trying to move around with that guy. My God. The best, man. Oh, and by the way, I am definitely not- Are you by the way-in? I'm by the way-in. You're just by the way again? I am definitely not.

You get more tired boxing. Just try to move around when you're exhausted. I can't even focus right now. Can we? Are you pulling your cock? What are you doing? No, look. He has these tight-ass Peter Pan green jeans on.

And his piece is just bulging out. Just sitting there. What are you doing? Just sitting there. I'm an American man. Are you rubbing your cock at all? No, but whenever I'm around Brennan, a little extra blood flows in. Well, you know what it is?

It's that same thing that causes men chimps to have bigger balls. Right. It's like you're around an alpha male and you start like, I'm trying to compete. And your dick is like, we better get bigger.

For sure, get your dick out of my face. Yeah, that's not the way to compete. For sure, very obviously. You're mixing it up. You get confused.

Look at this chimp's balls. Look at that. Yeah, that's it. Look at that motherfucker. Look at the muscles on that chimp. Jesus Christ. Good luck with that.

Yeah, not just muscles. Those hands are built for Look at the muscles on that chimp. Jesus Christ. Good luck with that. Yeah, not just muscles. Those hands are built for brutality. Well, totally different tendon structure. Everything's bigger and thicker. Everything's ridiculous. God. That thing weighs 150 pounds, and it can throw itself through the air with its arms. That's insane.

Imagine that. They grab a branch and just throw themselves through the air and slap that other one like it's Velcro and just hang and fucking they could be a thousand feet off the ground hanging from a branch weird do you joe do you think you could tear it up on naked and afraid me and brian talk about this all the time you wouldn't do well no i mean 21 days nope first of all i would the stupidity of it all would insult me as a human being so dumb that i was willing to be on a show that was exploiting me to the point of making me naked

go through the fucking jungle. I'd be like, after one day, I'd be like, oh my God, I'm an asshole. I am such an asshole. This is who I am. I'm not Spider-Man. I'm not fucking Herschel Walker. You can talk.

I'm naked in a fray. Day two, he'd be like, this blows. With dirt on my balls, and I'm like, this is so stupid. I'm sleeping on dirt. There's spiders everywhere. I just like the challenge. I'm like this is so stupid I'm sleeping on dirt There's spiders everywhere I just like the challenge I'm not an outdoors guy at all Hunting with gear like Joe and I did

With gear, with tents That's a bitch That sounds super boring It wasn't boring at all It was very exciting We were out in Montana Nine degrees That was scary

That was fun It That was fun. It was really fun. We went rafting 40 miles down the Missouri River in a place where there's nobody. I mean, we saw five people in five days. I'm down to kill animals with a bow. Gun does nothing for me. Guns are super boring to me. Gun's a great way to do it because you definitely kill them,

and you also can get them at a large distance so you can get many more shots. Getting up on some animals is super problematic problematic with a bow and arrow like what we did the kind of hunting that we did yeah they starved a lot too they they also you know well they they had been doing it pretty well yeah they did okay they did pretty well there's a lot more buffalo back then they didn't have the long-range rifle capabilities that brought down they would also wait till they got in the water a lot of times. They'd cross a river and then they'd jump off. We could do that. That could be the three of us. We wait until they get in the water and we start

just arrowing. I have a Hoyt. It's a 90 pound draw. It shoots a 475 grain arrow, which is pretty heavy. It's 302 feet per second. It blows through everything. It'll blow through a buffalo, an2 feet per second. Jeez. It blows through everything. It'll blow through a buffalo, an elk, a bear, everything.

Boom, right through. Bone, everything. Boom, it's going right. It goes through trees. I shoot it. If I miss the target and it hit the – I had the target set up on this fence post. It blew right through the fence post. Like a big two-by-four of wood blew right through and out the other side.

A 2x4, think about what it would do to a body. Wow. Yeah, and so one of those, you might as well have a gun. But you're going to have to be close enough to hit it. And shooting anything 20 yards away is tough. 40 yards away is really tough. Like the difference between when I shoot a target that's 20 yards away and 40 yards away, like the amount of movement difference between when I shoot a target that's 20 yards away and 40 yards away,

like the amount of movement that you could do before you release the arrow. At 20, you got a little bit of wiggle room and then you could release it. But you get to 40 and it's so minute because you're looking at something that's not magnified, your sight, and you're looking at a target that's so small because it's so far away. And you're just keeping that motherfucker right there and then letting it go. Don't you find that more exciting than having this gun that basically does it all itself? It's like a video game. It's definitely more exciting.

This poor animal comes walking through your freaking eyesight. Here's the problem with that logic, though. Here's the problem with that logic. That poor animal will definitely get killed if you have a rifle with a scope. If you have a rifle with a scope, you're looking at that animal from 200 yards away. That's a dead animal. Boom. You're blowing a hole through that thing clean if that deer is sitting there it's all in you not fucking up or

your your gear being off you could i i fucked up in wisconsin i dropped my rifle i fell on a hill and my rifle scope when they installed the scope i changed the scope when we got to wisconsin and the guy when he put the scope on didn't have it tight and when we fell it was like you could lose it well you can move it with your fingers, and it caused an animal to get wounded. You don't want that. And you have way more of a chance of that with a bow and arrow than you do with a rifle. It's also not as easy as you think. It's way hard to shoot an animal with a rifle.

Shooting an animal with a bow and arrow is really difficult. But we have all this technology now. I saw the video of you, the three of you just chilling, like this one sleeping bag telling jokes, and this little reindeer came prancing around. Reindeer, caribou, they live in Alaska. And you had like a bazooka, and it came across.

I had a bazooka. No, it wasn't a bazooka. It was a cannon. He lost it. He lost it. We had a helicopter gunship. And the radio then. Meanwhile, you eat meat, dude.

What are you talking about? You're just getting something that's tortured all its life and then shoved into a fucking vice and they put a piston to its brain. Yo, I'm not against it. I'm just saying it doesn't seem very exciting. It's very exciting. When that animal comes out of the woods and it's like looking around. When you get an animal in your sights and first of all, you've been tracking it for

three days, four days, and you haven't seen one. And it's a wild animal. I'm just saying if you were tracking it with not technology, it would be a lot cooler. Well, here's the thing. In Montana where we were, if you were bow hunting, you're fucked. You're not going to get a close enough shot. The closest shot I got was 200 yards. That was the only shot that I got.

I got one deer. I shot it at 200 yards. That's a long way. You can't even see that far with a bow and arrow sight. I mean, the idea that you're going to hold that deer, it's going to look so small when you're looking at it with no scope.

Not even harder. I don't think anybody's ever done it. Maybe a few people have done it, but you have to be like expert archers to shoot a deer at 210, 220 yards. But with a rifle, that's common. Super common. You line it up. It's a magnifying rifle. You's common. Super common. You line it up. It's a magnifying rifle.

You see the deer really clearly. You lock the crosshair on his heart, and boom, it's over. I think hunting would be a lot more cooler if you were hunting something that could sneak up on you and kill you. I think that'd be a lot cooler. Like deer. Like deer. Oh, no, I missed.

It goes prancing away. You know what I'm saying? Like, who cares? So it would be cooler if your life was in danger. Yeah, if that deer saw you and was like, ah. Water buffalo. When you shoot a water buffalo, a lot of times they disappear into the tall grass, and you must go into that tall grass and finish them off.

Pull up the video of Cameron Haynes shooting a water buffalo. He's waiting for you. He's waiting for you. With a bow? My friend Cameron Haynes, who is the guy who got me hooked up with Hoyt, and he's the guy who got me this 90-pound bow. It's the same bow that he shoots. So I shot it at my house, and it's so accurate.

I'm like, I've got to get one of these things. It's incredible. It's so accurate. It makes me more confident to shoot because I know that if it hits something, it's... Because it's got sights that are really ridiculous. Yes, and it's just... So look at this. He snuck up on this 2,000 pound water buffalo

in Australia. And they are dangerous. Fuck yeah, they are. Well, try running, first of all, it runs faster than you and it weighs 2,000 pounds. That's crazy.

So it only sees movement. So see how he's not moving? The reason why he's not moving is because it's stopped because it sensed movement. So then when it goes back to eating, he starts creeping. Dude, are you kidding me right now?

And this whole process is taking him a long time. This guy? This is your boy? You would love this guy. He's my buddy. This is your boy? I'm going hunting with him in June.

He looks like he's in shape, too. He's in very good shape. He does 28 chin-ups. That's one of the reasons why he does it is so he can pull back this monster bow. Because that bow is, most human beings, I mean, you can pull it back. Brian can't. I'll do 28 pull-ups. So how did he get this?

So this is a friend of his behind him is filming this See obviously there's a guy who's holding the camera So this is a long slow process You don't have to speed it up leave it alone Jamie This is a long slow process Where he has to wait for this animal To give him a broadside shot And when the animal's facing him

He can't move at all This guy doesn't hunt with rifles All he hunts with bows and arrows. 90 pounds. This guy's my style. I like this guy. He's gangster. I tried to pull a 60-pound bow, and it was really hard.

You're such a bitch. I mean, is he going to shoot this thing, or is he just trying to steer it the damn thing? It takes a long time, bro, because if you fuck up, that thing knows you're there, and then it's running at you. Essentially, it can't know you're there. For sure, jump behind the tree. Here it goes. Here it goes.

So now the thing is going to give him a broadside shot. It's close enough. He's down to about 30 yards. With an animal like this, you want to ensure that you shoot that thing through the fucking heart. Bro, he's standing next to it. No, no, no. It's faced the wrong way. It has to go sideways totally.

Because right now it's quartering away. So you're only going to hit the shoulder. And it might not hit a vital organ. So then you've got an angry buffalo with a stick in its arm. And then it's running at you. And it weighs 2,000 pounds. And it runs 40 miles an hour. Good luck.

I'm for sure hiding behind those trees. But look, this thing is waiting so he doesn't move, man. Because it's looking at him. Look at this dude. So this is a long fucking stalk, man. This is like a 20-minute stalk where he's standing there with this 90-pound fucking bow in his hand. And he's not moving. Look, so now it goes back to

eating it's decided that he's not he's nothing to be ashamed or uh to be concerned with ashamed of so now look now he sees it he pulls it back what damn Boom That thing runs off It's got a fucking arrow It goes through the side of its arm And right into its heart That's why there's so much blood pouring out of it That's why I hit it there

Well those animals You have to know the anatomy of each individual animal Because animals have their vitals in different areas. So it's got an arrow in its heart right now. Mm-hmm, yeah. So it's going to sit there for a couple seconds and then realize it's done. See, I don't like seeing that shit. I don't like that.

There it is. It's going to figure it out. Any second now, it just drops. I mean, when you're dealing with an animal that's that big, any other animal, like a North American animal, would be dead. A bear would be dead, a deer would be dead, anything that's... But this is just an enormous, gigantic animal. Are you kidding me right now? Look at this.

Yeah, and it sort of takes a while to sort of bleed out, and it wanders off and collapses. He said he ate it, when he put one piece in his mouth and he chewed it for a half an hour before he could swallow it that's some that's some dense muscle not only that when they were there they didn't bring any food they brought just enough snacks to get them through like a day and they didn't bring any water so they had to boil all this water and the water all had buffalo piss in it so every drank every sip of water they drank was buffalo piss the thing fell it's done wait now this was in um in australia yeah i didn't know

i didn't know water buffaloes were in australia well they're not native oh okay this is what happened one of the reasons why they encourage people to go over there and shoot them they're a non-native invasive species they brought them over there but they don't have any natural predators. There's some things that can eat them when they're babies, like a crocodile. Look at the size of that thing, man. Jesus fucking Christ. Some things can eat them when they're babies.

Yeah, crocodiles mostly. By the way, he's jacked. He's in shape. Yeah, he's in very good shape. But like I said, he does all this shit just to train for hunting. This guy, he runs ultra marathons. He makes a living hunting? Yeah, he does all this shit just to train for hunting. Yeah. This guy, he runs ultra marathons. He makes a living hunting? Yeah. He's got a television show, and he's sponsored by a bunch of different companies like Under

Armor. He's a famous bow hunter. But this guy, he does ultra marathons. He ran a fucking 100-mile marathon. He's a beast. He's an animal. That's what he does. And he does it all bow and arrow style.

That's macho. That's the alpha male right there. Dude, Brandon Chob Brandon, after you retire, you're going to need an outlet for all this savage aggression you've got inside your body, son. I'll tell you what I'm not doing. What? Waiting six hours and shooting a water buffalo. You say you're not, man, but I'm telling you. Nah, man, I'll be doing Iron Man, Marathon. I don't know, though,

Brandon. You like to hang. You like to hang. I don't see you being... I'll hang out with you guys. I'll drink beers and stuff while you guys are... The challenge. You'll do a lot of jiu see you being. I'll hang out with you guys. I'll drink beers and stuff. The challenge. You'll do a lot of jiu-jitsu, I feel. When you retire. Never stop. When you retire from fighting, yeah. I'm going to do the Worlds, actually, in May.

Are you really? In a gi. Oh, in a gi. Whoa. Wow. Do you like training with a gi? Do you feel like that? Do you feel like it helps you in any way?

I do, because if I have a 250-pound black black belt on top of me and I can escape his side control or I can control him, when you take off the gi and these guys are trying to punch me, man, it's easy for me. Really? That's interesting. So it's easier to defend because when you're defending with the gi, you have to be more technical? Yeah. With the gi, I have so much to worry about. I have to worry about gi chokes, collar chokes. The guy can grab me and control me through my gi. You know what I'm saying? So you feel like it's cross-training.

Yes. It takes away my explosiveness, my athleticism, and it forces me to use technique. I've found that with defense, for sure. I get caught in a lot of arm bars with the gi that I would have never got caught with. For sure. But also, my defense goes through the roof. Really?

Yeah. So you play a different game when you start doing that. You just become much more technical, much more aware of where the positions are. Yeah. How flexible are you, man? In certain areas, like my hamstrings are really tight, but pretty flexible. Yeah. Do you have a, well, I shouldn't ask you this because someone fighting you might try to exploit it.

What? Do you work your guard? Yeah. Some guys are like, fuck it, I shouldn't ask you this because someone fighting you might try to exploit it. What? Do you work your guard? Yeah. Some guys are like, fuck it, I ain't going to be on my back. That's stupid. No. Listen, when I get taken down, I've only been taken down twice in the octagon, but I do not care. Like if Hunt, with the whole game plan, if he trained all this wrestling, still have a tough time taking me down.

But if he trained all this wrestling and decided to put me on my back, cool. Let's do it. I'm all game for that. I don't panic down there. I'm very comfortable down there. I spent – because you got to remember, my daycare was Shane Carlin on top of me. I wasn't getting a lot of takedowns. I was on my back all the time.

That's a crazy way to start your training in MMA. It was horrible. Horrible, man. So crazy. What is it like? Every day just beat me up nonstop. That Trevor Whitman seems like a crazy dude, man. He's a good dude. He seems, man. So crazy. What is it like at Grudge? Every day he just beat me up nonstop. That Trevor Whitman seems like a crazy dude, man. He's a good dude.

Seems like a very good dude. Good guy. I haven't been there in years. But a maniac. He had Shane Carwin. They wanted to have Shane Carwin spar with GSP. And GSP was like, what? Yeah.

Why would I spar him? What are you talking about? Trevor's a genius when it comes to striking stuff like that but i think back on it and there's this thing where i felt like i had to prove to everyone i could hang with shane carwin and no matter when we were sparring that's how my footwork got so good because i'm used to this giant water buffalo mad water buffalo chasing me around the octagon so i was trying to get out of the way because he landed right hand it was a short. I mean, it was not good, man.

It was trouble. He hit so hard. He's got a. So I got used to that, right? And I'm moving nonstop. And then when the bell would go ding, ding with 30 seconds left, literally no matter what we're doing, me and Shane would stop, walk to the middle of the cage, and just rock them, sock them robots.

God damn. I did that for three years. And then finally a part of me was like, how about no? And I shot a double leg on him. And we've never done that again. Yeah. He got to retire. But I think back on my training, I'm like, God, that was stupid.

Even taking him down. I mean, he's so strong. He's a big guy. Strongest guy ever. He's a big fucking guy, man. A lot stronger than you. And you're strong. Shane is 100% stronger than me. Not even close. He's a big fucking guy, man. A lot stronger than you, and you're strong. Shane is 100% stronger than me. Not even close. He's ridiculously

strong. His bone structure is immense. His bone structure is just... He's bigger than Lesnar. His legs are thick, thick ass, huge shoulders. His hands, man. Before they redid the UFC glove to fit over his hands, Shane's the reason why they changed the glove.

Shane had a 5XL glove. They had to cut the glove just to get over his hands. Shane's the reason why they changed the glove. Shane had a 5XL glove. They had to cut the glove just to get over his hands. Yeah, his hands are so ridiculous. Yeah, when you shake them, it's like holding onto a ham. So what was frustrating to me is, you know, I've always been in love with jiu-jitsu. I would spend, Shane would get injured or he'd have to work at a regular job, and I was just training full-time, and I would think I was being so good at jiu-jitsu. Then Shane would come in off a 9-to-5, you know5 shift, walk in, like, jiu-jitsu, huh?

Let's do it. I'm like, I'm going to roll this big dude up. And you just shut it all down, man. When I was training at a mall, he came by and trained one day. And I didn't get to roll with him. But I watched people roll with him and it was like a child playing with his daddy.

A bear with a dog. I've never experienced anything like that. The daddy was just rolling him over. I go with big guys all the time, but none like Shane. Well, he doesn't even look real. When he walked in the door, if I didn't know him, I was like, what's up, Shane? But if I didn't know him, I would be like, look at this motherfucker. Look at this guy.

He's got legs growing out of his shoulders. This is how it happened. I was like, oh, I want to be a fighter. I knew Nate Marquardt. I looked him up online, found out where his academy. This is how it happened. I was like, oh, I want to be a fighter. I knew Nate Marquardt. I looked him up online, found out where his academy was in Aurora, my hometown. I show up there. Nate's a great guy, right? He's like, yeah, man, we can do this.

We'll figure it out. Come tomorrow, there's another big guy. He only has like one fight. He just started fighting, and he played football too. I'm like, oh, cool. I show up. It's sparring, right? I show up, and in walks Shane Carlin.

At the time, he was 315 pounds fighting the WC. Just jacked. Looked like a silverback gorilla that just found the weight room and does nothing else. I remember when he was really that big. There's a picture of him that doesn't even look real. It's insane. Really? Yeah, it doesn't even look real.

And Nate goes, oh, hey, here's the guy I wanted to introduce you to. And since then, me and Shane sparred, and we just stood toe-to-toe. Neither one of us knew what we were doing, blasting each other in the face. So you've rolled with guys. I mean, you had the biggest and the baddest as a training partner forever. The best, man. He was like an older brother.

I couldn't afford private training with Trevor Whitman, and Shane believed in me so much, he paid for my training with Trevor. Well, for a believed in me so much he paid for my training with Trevor. Well, for a guy like Shane, having a guy like you around is invaluable. Trying to find a giant picture of him. Me and him, man. Me and him. He only had, I think, one or two fights at a time. I had zero.

That's amazing. Yeah, and he was a really good wrestler as well. And his issue, really, he had a lot of issues from football. Health, man. Always. A lot of neck injuries and back injuries. He had a lot of issues from football. Health, man. Always. A lot of neck injuries and back injuries. He had a lot of problems with his back, man. The body's just not designed to have 300-pound dudes running at you full clips.

Well, it's also not designed to be 300 pounds and shredded muscle. It's just not. Yeah, that's true, too. Anyone I know, anyone, and I know a lot of athletes, high-level athletes, anyone who's that big, that lean, whether they're natural or not, they're always hurt, they're always hurt, or they're always sick. For whatever reason, they just have bad immune systems, or they're always getting hurt.

Your body's fighting so much. Look at this. Yeah, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life. That's when he was at his biggest. See if you can find that picture, Jamie. Looks like just a bodybuilder. Yeah, I googled Shane Carwin huge. Bro, sparring days, I used to sit in my car outside the gym,

and I was so nervous, man. Like, dang, I don't want to do this. Look at that picture. Look at him. Get the fuck out of here. First of all, does that not look like a gay porn picture? That looks like that guy's gonna pull out his

hairless cock and stuff it right in your butthole. He's all shaved down. Look at him. Shaved down. There's no way that guy's not gonna... Dude, he's such a monster. It doesn't even look real. That looks photoshopped. He knocked Gabriel Gonzaga out with just... Yep. Just...

His arms are so long. His arms... One thing I noticed about him is he's got super long arms. Little newsflash. When he fought Frank Mayer, he might have hit mitts, I don't know, three times. Really? Really. Just...

Yeah. He was hurt. What was wrong with him? His back was getting problems, so he couldn't train a lot. Wow. That's why he went after him so quick, maybe. Got that underhook. God damn maybe. Got that underhook. God damn it.

Got that underhook. And those uppercuts. Boom. Dropped him, man. He was hitting him with lefts, too, right? Yeah, left. Got that right underhook. Yeah, and he's known for his right hand.

Meanwhile, he starched him with the left. He was just such a gorilla. The poor, you know, it's just health problems, man. Started late, man. Yeah, but it's also just the football. All that football. I mean, he had a lot of injuries from that. Football, wrestling.

He's just a rugged dude. You make a real good point, though, about guys that are that big because you're right. Everyone I know, though. Everyone. I'm telling you. One of my best friends, he was in the NFL. Not anymore. 6'7", 265, shredded, right?

He's just always been that way. Never been on drugs, nothing. Always hurt, man. He had to retire because he was always hurt. Had eight surgeries. Carrying around that kind of weight on your body. And they're always sick. Shane was always sick.

His immune system was shit, man. Well, Shane also worked. That's a hard fucking proposition to work a full-time job and be a professional MMA fighter fighting for titles, fighting top contenders. Check this. When Shane and I first started, we both worked nine to five jobs at the time when we very first started. Nine to five jobs. We'd both get off. We'd drive straight to the gym. He would drive an hour.

I'd drive like 15 minutes. He'd drive an hour to the gym. We would be at the gym from 6 to 10.30 at night. We'd do four classes back to back. Hey, we should do a podcast like this after UFCs. We should do one. We'll commit to one a month.

Let's do it. This is fun as shit, man. Let's do it. I figured we could talk MMA for days and throw in crocodiles and fucking terror birds. We'll do a joint fighter and a kid. We'll do a joint fighter and a kid. This will be one of our episodes. Yeah, whatever, man. We could record it and both release them simultaneously.

We'd do anything. We'd do whatever, man. We could record it and both release them simultaneously. We'd do anything. We'd do whatever we want. I'd love it. But that would be really fun to break down fights. I'm fucking pumped about Tim Kennedy and Michael Bisping tomorrow night.

This other thing with Carwin, what's weird is there's the days of Carwin Lesnar, who you just have these dudes who are gorillas cutting from 300 pounds to 265. Not that way anymore. The big boys are gone.

Now you guys got like Kane, 240. Junior Dos Santos, 240. Big Brown, 240. Everyone's kind of more athletic. I agree, and I think that there's a point of diminishing return, right? When you get too big, your body just can't keep it up. When you saw Kane just running all over Brock, like the pace that he put on Brock,

first of all, you're dealing with a Brock that was sick, so it's hard to look at that. Now that we know that the dude had that serious diverticulitis issue. That doesn't mean you turn away from punches, though. Go ahead, carry on. That's a very good point. There's also the issue of trying to deal with a guy who's been striking for a long fucking time,

and you are essentially a novice at it. If you can't take the guy down, if you do take the guy down, like you took Kane down, and Kane pops right back up to his feet, now you have to deal with that pace. Well, also mentally for him, he gets guys down, they're screwed. Exactly. He took Kane down, Kane got double wrist control, popped up. And Lesnar was like, damn.

You can see in his face, like, holy shit. That's why when he fought Shane, I was like, this fight's over. This fight's over. And then they didn't stop it. Second round, Shane was dealing with some problems. Gas is out. Basically, his body's shut down on him. Gets choked out.

I fought on the same night, right? Fought Brock Lesnar's best friend, training partner. That was the thing, right? Lesnar, Carwin, training partners fighting each other on Spike, the main card on Spike. I knocked Chris Tushar out in 50 seconds. He's a big, fat slob. He's 21, though. Tough dude.

21. How rude. I knocked him out in 20 seconds. He's a big, fat slob. He's a nice fucking guy, man. He was 20-1, though. 20-1. He's a tough guy.

Yeah, but I'm all excited. How dare you. How dare you. I'm all excited. I come running back, right? I'm not touching that, man. Right? I come back.

I come back to the locker room, and then Shane's turn to get ready. He's getting ready. I thought he was the fight one. I was crunk, right, because I won my fight. I've never been so sad in my life when Shane lost that fight because we did training camp together. He was like a brother, heavyweight champion. It was so close.

It didn't happen. We were both crying, right, both crying our eyes out in the locker room. Dana White comes in. He goes, everyone leave the room. I'm all, really? He's like, Shab, you can stay crying our eyes out in the locker room. Dana White comes in. Goes, everyone leave the room. I'm all, really? He's like, Shab, you can stay. I'm like, thanks, Dana. Shane's literally on the floor with ice on his heart.

Ice on his heart because his body's going crazy. He's laying on the floor. Looks like a giant just gorilla. And he's sweating. Sweating. Ice on his heart. Ice on his hands all over, right? Dana makes everyone leave the room.

He gives Shane a check. I was like, what is it, man? I look. I'm like, oh, shit. Wow. I pop up. Fuck it, man. Let's do this.

It was a lot of money. I stopped crying. So did Shane. Wow. The ice bags melted. The ice bags. Yep, yep, yep. That's real money.

Yeah, man. Wow. Well, that was a crazy first round, man. If he paced himself and picked his shots better. Why would he, though? They should have stopped the fight. He's beating the brakes off Brock. No, they shouldn't have stopped the fight.

They shouldn't have stopped the fight. That's why. I've seen fights stop for a lot less. Okay, but would you have that to be stopped? That was you, and you were okay like Brock was? Brock got back to his corner, and he was all right. I agree. I mean, he got hit with some big shots, but he defended well.

You know what? That's when I got a lot of respect for Brock. After that fight, I was like, all right, he's a legit fighter. He's legit. Before then, I was like, no, sign me up. He got rocked. He got cut. Plenty of time to give up.

Plenty of time to give up. That's when you were like, all right, Brock's legit. He just didn't know how to deal with Kane's hands. Well, Kane was just too much, and also he was operating. Kane's a nightmare for him. He was operating, in his estimation, at 40%. What does that mean in the real world? Only he knows, but he definitely

had diverticulitis then. Even if he was 100%, Kane beats him. I agree with you. An A+, Kane, A+, Brock, horrible matchup for Brock. But I think it would be a great fight, though. Fun fight while it lasted, but I don't think... I don't think so. Really? You don't think so? I don't know. Why? Because Cain's

a lot smarter, has more tools, his gas tank's so much better. I think after a while, your dick gets stolen, Brock, and you TKO him time after time. Junior Dos Santos will never be the same again. I don't think so either. He'll never ever be the same again. Those two fights were fucking insane. The corner should've

threw in the towel. Yeah, well, you know, when it ended, too, it's crazy because it ended from him falling on his head. He, you know, he got, he got a, he tried to do, like, a power guillotine on Kane, and Kane ducked under, and Junior was so tired,

and he had taken such a beating that he's holding onto this guillotine, and he literally falls forward right onto his head, and, like, stuns himself, and then they stop the fight. But the beating that he took up until that, there was three, four times where Herb Dean was moving close to stop the fight, and then Junior's heart pulled through. It was insane.

Junior Dos Santos does not fucking give up. That's one thing. He had as many opportunities to give up as a human being ever gets in life, and he will not give up. It's tough, right? And I think about this. It's tough because if Junior came five years ago, he's not dealing with it. He's the champ for a long time. But because

there's this group of guys, and it's about matchups. The UFC's about matchups. Cain Velasquez, Junior Dos Santos, Junior will never beat him, right? He got that one lucky shot. Other than that, those guys fight a hundred times. Cain Velasquez, Junior Dos Santos, Junior will never beat him. He got that one lucky shot. Other than that, those guys fight 100 times. Cain's winning 99 usually. He just is.

However, if Junior fights Verdum, Travis Brown, he's probably going to win. It's just matchups, man. Who is a better matchup for you, Verdum or Alistair Overeem? That's random as hell. Or who's? It's just... When you see a guy like Alistair that was at a very high level in kickboxing, came over, fought Lesnar,

looked fantastic, but then you see him in the Bigfoot fight, post getting popped. He got popped for testosterone. You see him in the Bigfoot fight and then you see him in the Travis Brown fight. How much do you think he's lost from not having... This is the thing, though. He's destroying these guys.

Right. You don't want to be that guy in the first two minutes fighting Alistair Overeem. It is a nightmare. But he didn't fight that way against Mir. Against Mir, he was very controlled. Hey, thanks for that fight. Mir, what the fuck are we doing? What did you do all training camp? What are we doing? What did you do all training camp?

What are we doing? You did nothing. What are you saying? He didn't throw a punch. Well, I don't think he could hit him. I mean, I think he was having a real problem dealing with that guy. He could do something, man. I wonder what their game plan was.

I would love to hear it. I bet the game plan was figure out how to tire him out and get him down to the ground. I bet that was probably the game plan. Stay on the outside, work him. And Overeem's was be very conservative, don't gas out. And Overeem's was also control him on the ground. He wasn't afraid of going to the ground with Frank Mir. He did control the heck out of him.

Which is pretty shocking. Frank's a hell of a grappler and really good off his back. People forget that Alistair won the Abu Dhabi European trials, though. Alistair can grapple. He has a nasty guillotine. Yeah, he submitted Vitor. He submitted Mark Hunt via Kimura. Yeah, that's right.

And a weird one, too. I told Hunt, if he needed, I would open up a jiu-jitsu school for him in New Zealand. So he had an idea of what's going on on the ground. Well, didn't you guys make some sort of a bet? Like, you would try to knock him out and he would try to submit you? Wasn't there something along those lines? Yeah, me and him were talking smack on Twitter and then we got

into this winner takes all and he started clowning how he's going to knock me out and stand on my big lips. We should get him on the fighter and the kid. Yeah. Stand on your big lips. I was like, what? What's wrong with your lips? He doesn't like your lips. Yeah, he's like, I'm going to stand on your big lips and knock you out. I think he means because you talk a lot.

Well, I have big lips, so it's confusing. You should have shot back. I have a big mouth. I wouldn't say they're really big. I've met a lot. Well, I have big lips, so it's confusing. You should have shot back. They're nice. I wouldn't say they're really big. I'd say it's a full mouth. It's a legit full mouth. I look like Lionel Richie, for sure. I wouldn't describe you that way.

Describe Brandon Schaub. Oh, the lips. He's got these big lips. I'd describe him as Big Brown. That's his nickname. Yeah, me and him got on it on Twitter. I'm trying to get his nickname changed from Hybrid to Big Brown. Dude, this guy starts with Big Brown.

Why Big Brown? He's Big Brown. He's just big and brown. That's why everybody calls him Big Brown now. What is your nationality? My mom's full-blooded English. That's bullshit. Born and raised in England. My dad's German, a little bit of Italian, French.

Native American and Jewish, 100%. I don't care what anybody says. Did you ever do your genome test to see if anybody's lying? No, I need to. Italian, French. Native American and Jewish. A hundred percent. I don't care what anybody says. Hmm. You got some strong ones. Did you ever do your genome test to see if anybody's lying? No. I need to. Someone fucking the NFL in your past. Because his father looks exactly...

Because no one looks like me. No one looks like me. Well, your dad looks exactly like the crying Indian from those commercials in the 70s. And I mean exactly. And he even got watery eyes, by the way. The only missing is the braids and the long hair. Well, here's something to consider. When someone talks about someone being German or someone being Italian or someone being anything,

yeah, maybe, but who knows how they got to Germany or Italy 17 generations before. Who knows where any of those Germanic people came from. Doesn't it all lead back to some... Africans. Yeah, African, right? You do not... people came from. Doesn't it all lead back to some... Africans. Yeah, African, right? Tell them a story about Kimbo Slice. Kimbo Slice on Ultimate Fighter?

Yeah, when you guys were doing that. They didn't even show this on the air. This guy, I'm not going to mention his name, on the show, he lost, and you can drink all the alcohol you want in the house. At the time, there's only four of us left still fighting. Roy, Marcus Jones. Mitrione.

Mitrione. And myself. That's the four fighting, right? So one of you guys, one of the other guys is hammered. Hammered. He's lost, right? Hammered. Wasted.

All of a sudden, this guy gets super racist in the house. And there's a bunch of black guys in the house. Starts talking about how his wife loves him because the aryan nation and starts throwing up racial slurs and throwing up these you know the hit hey hitler stuff heil hitler's write his name on this piece of paper for me all right dude dude this isn't getting out though right i just need to know for my own edification um so he starts doing all this stuff i'm sleeping i have the biggest fight of my life the next day. Dana White literally stops us in the car and goes, listen, whoever makes it to the finale,

whether you win or not, you're going to be a superstar. It's huge, man. Biggest season we've ever had. You guys want to win this fight. Thank you. No pressure. I'm sleeping. I'm sleeping. I'm sleeping on the ground, and I thought it was a dream. Kimbo Slice and Marcus Jones and this D'Amico Rogers comes in my room, and they go, Yo, shop, get up, dog, get up, man.

I'm like, huh? Why are there three large black guys around my bed? Kim goes, yo, man, this dude's down there talking about our people. We're about to jack him up. Literally, I thought I was in a dream. I go, excuse me? He's talking about our people, dog. Let's go F this dude up.

I'm like, listen, you guys realize. I said, I'm not down with the race thing. I'm totally down to fuck this dude up. But you realize I'm not black, right? Kim goes, you ain't black? I go, no, man, he goes, damn, that's crazy. Turn around, leave, and I hear, that's why I lock shop.

You can't tell what the hell he is. And I keep going. And I go, hey, Kimbo, that's racist, dog. He goes, why? I go, just because I'm athletic and can fight, I gotta be black? He goes, you could be. And keeps going. Wow, that's interesting, man. That's a fucking weird situation to be in, too.

What? A trained killer who's also an Aryan nation guy. That's scary. Is he mic'd up while this is going on, too? He's mic'd up, and they have to escort him out of the house. Whoa. Why didn't they put that on the show? That's not good for ratings.

Fuck yeah, it is. Nah. Are you kidding me? A white supremacist? Didn't show any of it, man. That guy never fought again, did he? Did he? No.

Hmm. Interesting. Too many clues. We know people are going to know who this is. They'll figure it out. Tough shit. Bad news. That's fascinating.

Yeah, it is bad news. Six years ago. Yeah, they have to make a decision, right? Whether you put that on the TV or not. We didn't need it, though. The ratings were so high. And then you want to toss something. Highest ratings ever, by the way.

Tough 10. Whoop, whoop. Was it really? The highest ratings ever? Ever. Nothing's even close. Kimbo Slice. That's why.

Kimbo Slice. Isn't that crazy? I'll never forget, man. When we walk in the house, right, or we walk in the gym, you're staring at everyone. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know any of these guys. In walks Roy Nelson. I'll never forget this.'t know. I don't know any of these guys. In walks Roy Nelson. I'll never forget this.

Matt Matrione goes, look at the fat ass. And I'm all, bro, that's Roy Nelson. He goes, who's that? I go, he's like a world champ, man, in the NFL. He has like 30 fights. What the fuck? And Matt's like, ah, it's nothing, man. And then Dana was hyping up everyone going, do you realize there's 15 guys here?

There's 16 total, though. We're bringing a special guest. They hype this thing up. Everyone's wanting everyone. I lean over to Roy. I go, bro, you know who they're about to bring in? And there's big talks at the time. Can you imagine if they did this? I said, Fedor's about to walk through that motherfucker. We're all screwed. I have three fights.

They're about to bring Fedor into the ultimate fighter house. Disaster. And that's why when they're like, bring him in. And then walks Kimbo Slice. I thought it was going to bring Fedor into the Ultimate Fighter house. Disaster. And that's why when they're like, bring him in. And then walks Kimbo Slice. I thought it was going to be Fedor. That's why I look over at Matt and I go, oh, fuck Kimbo Slice. And that's the very first way people saw me on national TV is me saying, fuck Kimbo Slice. That's hilarious.

I thought it was going to be Fedor, man. I was all nervous. You really thought it was going to be Fedor? Oh, my God. Somebody needs to talk to you. I know. Why would Fedor door, man. I was all nervous. You really thought it was going to be Fedor? Oh, my God. Somebody needs to talk to you. I know. Why would Fedor do the ultimate fighter? I don't know.

Maybe they pay him like a jigillion dollars, and he's like, can you just tear up these kids with three fights? You know what's crazy? That would be funny. You know what's really crazy, though, is that Kimbo Slice would get more ratings. That's weird. It's weird. More people knew who Kimbo Slice was back then because of YouTube,

like the casual person, than knew who Fedor was. I'll tell you what, Kimbo, one of the nicest people I've ever met. Very nice guy. So cool. Taught me how to fight with a shank. What? What? Yeah, man.

Is there rules? Well, you leave this arm so they can scrape that arm. They got the knife in this one, man. Right. It was dope. While he was barbecuing, if he's listening, he needs to open up his barbecue restaurant called Kimbo's. Man, that guy could grill like no one's business. Really? He'd make this

barbecue sauce. Man. He'd make his own sauce? Yeah. What would he put in it? He'd put honey, mustard, all sorts of stuff. So he just knew what he was doing. Oh, knew what he was doing. What did he barbecue? Ribs? What? Ribs. I mean, there's steaks. Really? Dude. He's a chemist.

He was so cool, man. he was so cool man he was so cool good eating yeah he is he is just a natural athlete i mean he's just big strong guy he's got some serious knee problems man i went calm on that yeah yeah i would say he's a natural athlete well he's a tough guy tough guy real real knee problems for sure bone on bone arthritis in his knees that's why he left m MMA. He tried to do some boxing. And he also wasn't winning. He wasn't winning, but look, he made some improvement.

He definitely made some improvement, but it was the knees. His knees were fucked. They weren't going to get any better. I hope he made some money. He made some money.

He makes a ton of money as security for Icy Mike and Reality Kings. Poor no. His best friend is Icy Mike who owns Reality Kings. Oh, wow. Well, holla at your boy. I wonder if they're making any money more. Is it tough to make money in the Reality Kings. Porn-o. His best friend is Icy Mike. He owns Reality Kings. Oh, wow. Why don't you holler at your boy?

I wonder if they're making any money more. Is it tough to make money in the Reality Kings? Well, it's free now, right? Yeah. Like, you porn. Why am I going to pay a subscription to Reality Kings? Yeah, that's the thing. Like, you have to be, like, a real fan to pay porn.

Yeah. You have to be a real psycho. I think they make money. I think they make money. I said fan. You went with psycho. Psycho. Psycho.

You have to be a real psycho. Jacking off about 10 times a day for a membership. But there are dudes that become like fans of a girl, just like they become fans of a band. Again, if you're my friend and you're a fan of a girl and you pay for a membership, lose my number. Don't ever, ever call me. If you don't like kids or if you're a fan of girls, lose my number. No, if you pay for a membership because you like one certain porno star, you're a psycho. That's right.

Well, there's some guys that have very specific tastes. Like, they only like Asian broads. Yeah. That's it. Asian girls only. Cody's like that. Porno, Asian porno. I'm an equal opportunity employer.

Me too. I don't hate. Yeah. I encourage everybody. Well, how about guys who say they never jerk off to porn? Ever. Yeah, it's weird. Blame and lie.

They don't use porn, and if they jerk off, it's to their imagination. Again, lose my number. They're lying for sure. I don't know. I think some people actually do have a problem with porn. They don't like it.

They don't like the fact that they think that people are being victimized in some way. I've never met a guy like this. One person is making a lot of money. I have. I definitely have. Really?

Yeah, yeah. I've met people. I hate to say this, but I watched – I hate to say this. I watched a lecture on TED.com called Why I Stopped Watching Porn, and this really, really eloquent dude was talking about why it's damaging. And ever since I listened, it's almost like now that I know football causes head injuries, it's literally like now I feel guilty. Don't be lame.

I'm just telling you. Don't be lame. You guys balance each other out so well. Lose my number. It's one of the reasons why your podcast is so good. You guys balance each other out so well. I was telling Brian, someone needs to be in the room with him to let him be him. Because if you leave him by himself, he goes, by by the way thoreau once theorized that's the

reason why this passion exists he called me up he called me up he heard that he heard me doing the elliot hulse thing and he goes hey bro he goes let me ask you something man you're one of the funniest people i know somebody should sue you for misrepresenting who you really are in your podcast for sure why are you lecturing you should should see yourself, I said. Just be funny, Brian. I hate when you're serious, Brian. I didn't say I hate when you're serious, Brian. I said you're two different people. I said there's you who's really you

and there's you and it goes into lecture mode. Why am I doing that? I don't even know why. I don't know. I guess probably everybody does it. I'm sure I do it to a certain extent, but you do it in a very extreme way. I have these really smart people that I'm excited about. You know when he did it? You know when he did it?

On our biggest podcast, when I re-signed my new UFC contract, I go, Dana, I'm going to come and sign my contract. You mind if you're on my podcast? You did that with Dana White and Clark? In his office, in his office, Bryan sits down and goes, Mr. White, where did you get your inspiration from? I go, what? Did you call him Mr. White?

No I didn't call him Mr. White First of all you son of a bitch I just didn't know him No I didn't But I didn't know him He was dead serious But for the story I did But I didn't know him

So I didn't know whether he had a sense of humor You met him with me before you fucked Yeah but not really like You know Talked to him And now Now I know he loves He's so good

Opportunity's gone It's gone Back to the porno stars though I got a buddy who's dating a porno star I want to know what he did during the podcast that made you upset. You're going to listen to it. You're going to listen to the fighter and the kid podcast. Did you over-talk?

Did you over-talk a little bit? Not really. No, it was just so serious. I didn't fuck enough. Really? The reason why the fighter and the kid works. Did he fuck it up? No.

No, no, no. The reason why the fighter and the kid works is because we get serious people, right? And we're clowns, man. Right. We get them out of their elements. We make things fun. We tell stories. We did a great one with Ronda Rousey recently. We tell stories. Well, with Dana,

he was like, where do you see yourself in 10 years? No way. You really said that? I don't know what I said. I like questions like that. What are you, a chick? We have really good arguments on the podcast. We have serious arguments about whether or not Ronda should take me or him on the zombie apocalypse.

All kinds of stuff. That wasn't much of an argument at all. What kind of conversation? What are you going to provide? I said I would take Tim Kennedy. Do you know the poisonous mushrooms or something? Yeah, I do. I know a lot of stuff. You would take Tim Kennedy? I said Tim Kennedy and I immediately

regret saying that as soon as I said it. Because they gave a scenario where all the zombies, everyone's a zombie, so it's only you and one other person. So we couldn't procreate, right? Right. You don't want to take Tim Kennedy. Zamba said zombie. Can't get him pregnant. Ronda said, yeah, Ronda goes, I'd be a good breeding.

She said I'm an ovarian goldmine. I'd breed the army. You need a breeding. That's true. You'd be breeding warriors. Yes. That's a good move. Yeah, she's the only choice.

There's a couple other choices, but for you, that's the only choice. You can't take Tim Kennedy. You can't get him pregnant. By the way, if you were the only two people on Earth and you had to fucking die and leave your kids to fend for themselves against zombies, you might want to take everybody out in their sleep and then do yourself. You might want to fucking end it. Yeah.

For real. If you're the last two people on Earth and the world is filled with zombies. You don't want to fight at all, huh? Nope. Drown. Swim out as far as you can go. That's what I say. Just crawl all the way out. Fuck that. Last person on earth?

Look, being a human being... Hey, I know who I'm not taking a foxhole. You two. As soon as things get a little shady... That's a foxhole. Rogan, shoot! Oh my god, he shot himself. Foxhole's a war. We're talking about everybody being dead except for you and this one chick. What kind of life is that? Your baby's going to be behind?

It's going to be pretty dope. You're going to have to fuck your kids. Do you understand that, how procreation works? I do, my man. Someone's going to have to fuck your kids. Your kids are going to have to fuck each other. No. It'll be the garden.

They're going to have to try to survive, and they still might get eaten by zombies? Well, you guys are giving up. Oh, what are you going to do? You're going to fuck your kids? You're going to fuck your kids to keep the race alive? You're going to look for other people. You're going to look for other people. You're going to look for other people. Okay, that's look for other people. You're going to look for other people.

Okay, that's what I'm saying. If you know for sure, you're the only two people left. How would you know for sure? You don't know for sure. You'd have to know for sure. You'd kill yourself. Or you'd just figure out, I'm here for a reason. What is it?

Maybe I can figure something out. It's a good point, though. You wouldn't really know for sure. You wouldn't know, but you two are giving up. That's good to know. I Am Legend was really like the first Walking Dead, right? For sure, yeah. Remember when they found the camp at the end and everybody was safe?

Yeah. But those monsters are way scarier than the Walking Dead monsters. Walking Dead? Sign me up. I'm just going to run everywhere. They walk. I'm just going to run. I'm going to cut down to about 170.

I'm going to have a nice pair of kicks on. Cut down to 170? And I'm just going to run everywhere. All cardio. Yeah, all cardio. Just running everywhere. Well, that was Zombieland. That shit, that shit.

Oh, yeah. How good cardio. That's right. That show's a little too moody for me. It's getting ridiculous. They're eating people now. It's like they found a cannibal fucking colony. Makes sense.

Yeah, I guess, but there's plenty of deer left, too. It's not like the zombies are eating deer. They eat a few of them, but they can't catch them. I don't understand why everybody gets guns when you can have a sword. I mean, it's good to have guns, but that chick never gets fucked with. Fuck the sword. She just jacks everything with swords. Yeah, because if you run out of bullets with a sword, you're just chopping heads off.

Yeah, you can get a reload, a rifle. It takes a couple of seconds. You got a fucking hundred zombies coming at you. It takes a long time to put a hundred bullets in a chamber. Well, good luck if a hundred zombies are coming. You're going to take a sword and start just swinging it around. Fuck yeah. You take them a couple at a time,

and you do it for about an hour, and you got a hundred dead zombies. Until you get the zombie like Shane Carwin who knows single legs. Zombies don't learn anything. They don't even know how to use doors. You don't pay attention. You don't even watch that show. You can't be in this conversation. Please exit the conversation, sir.

They don't even unscrew doors. Have you seen World War Z? You can just lock that door. A little different. Those are the scary, fast zombies. Yes, that's where we're all screwed. The scariest zombies of all time are the 28 Days Later zombies. Remember that?

Yes. Not only that, because that's the most likely scenario. It was a disease like rabies. It was a disease from a monkey, right? Yeah. They called it rage, a genetically created disease, a modified disease, a weaponized disease. It escapes from the chimps and gets into people and then spreads like wildfire.

When you think about what rabies does to animals... And people. And people. People, if somebody has rabies and you get them near a body of water, if they get near a body of water, they get so hysterical you have to chain them down. Really?

They will go crazy. Why water? I don't know. Are you making this up? Water, you get a huge water phobia. Oh, they get afraid of the water. When's the last time someone got rabies? What if rabies comes from an animal?

Before vaccines, rabies was a terrible disease. I'm talking right now. No, no, no. People have gotten it really recently. Really? Being bit by animals. Yeah. I wonder if rabies comes from an animal and that animal has memories of drowning.

Look it up. Look up water phobia. Imagine that shit. We were talking about the mice and the mice remembering the smell with the electric shock. It taps into a part of your brain where you actually go crazy, first of all. You go crazy.

That's why the animal will bite you. They go crazy. They start to drool. They're also very aggressive. I'm not making this up. I had a dog bite me in the ass cheek and had rabies when I was a kid. Really?

You had to get a bunch of shots in your stomach. And guess what I'm not scared of? Horrible shots. Dogs. All right? You had to get shots in your stomach. Not me. You're the right dogs.

You'd be scared, bro. Scared of snakes. I put a bite suit on in Afghanistan and had dogs attack me. Whoa, where? In Afghanistan. I was in Afghanistan. I hate when he does that. I hate it, too.

Afghanistan. He switches it up, too. I say it the way you're supposed to. It's so weird. If he's around, by the way, if he's around real military guys, he takes that shit down a few notches. He doesn't go Afghanistan. Because he knows what's up. Because then they'll go, what?

And you'll hear like silence. Because they think I'm a plant. They think I'm an al-Qaeda plant like Afghanistan. No, they don't think you're a plant. They think you're a fucking dork. They think you're a plant. Yeah, they put a plant on mad TV. I lived in the Middle East 8 years of my life

Don't blame me Afghanistan Hydrophobia, fear of water, historic name for rabies Wow It's the historic name for rabies Refers to a set of symptoms The later stages of an infection with the victims Has difficulty swallowing

Shows panic when presented with liquids to drink, and can't quench its thirst. Wow. So I guess that's what it is. Like, they're scared of water because they know if they got it in their mouth. Wow. Or even intention of suggestion of drinking may cause excruciating painful spasms of the muscles in the throat and larynx.

Wow. Suggestion of drinking may cause excruciatingly painful spasms. That's incredible. Yet you're really thirsty. Yet you're really thirsty. Great disease. What a fuck. Thank you, vaccines. Thank you, vaccines.asm. Yet you're really thirsty. Yet you're really thirsty. Great disease. Thank you, vaccines.

Thank you, vaccines. Yeah, thank you. The fact they can shoot you when you get bit. Horrible needles in your stomach. Yeah. Big giant needles in your fucking stomach. Tetanus is another really bad. Do you know the symptoms of tetanus?

Look those up. Look up the symptoms of tetanus. That is the worst. Horrible. Your whole body seizes up, and before you die, you're very acutely aware of all the pain. Hey, did you see this shit where John Jones is requesting that Glover Teixeira get drug tested? Oh, no. It's kind

of fascinating. He says... Did they agree to VADA testing? Well, this is what he says. This is his exact quote. He says, some fighters, you just know they're not on anything just by looking at them. I kind of disagree with that because guys that look like Jeremy Horn, who doesn't look like he's on anything, have tested positive. Just because a guy has a certain body type doesn't mean that he can't be on something.

A lot of guys have tested positive. I think you're talking about the exception there again. Perhaps, but those are often the guys that wind up taking it. Okay, here's a perfect example. Tim Sylvia. A lot of folks don't know. Tim Sylvia tested hot. And before Tim Sylvia tested hot, look at what he looked like when he fought Rico Rodriguez.

I think that Tim Sylvia that beat Rico Rodriguez is one of the scariest heavyweights ever. I agree. Great takedown defense. Great striking. Monster right hand. Monster. They just, you know, he couldn't keep that fucking, you know, everything. He had tires hanging off the side, and I think he was getting criticized for it, and I feel like that's why he did steroids.

I think you're right. I think you're right. I mean, he'd always, like, give a set to me. You wanted to look the part. Yes. A little embarrassed of his body. Well, a little bit, but I also think that it benefited him physically. Pull up Tim Sylvia versus Rico Rodriguez.

That's Tim when he was retired from the UFC. Now, that's Tim versus Rico Rodriguez. You see that image? Look how fucking lean he was and big. He was a dangerous motherfucker, and he was eating Rico's leg kicks and dropping right hands on him. So dangerous. Pull up the video if you can find the video. He was a scary motherfucker. And he was eating Rico's leg kicks and dropping right hands on him. So dangerous. Pull up the video if you can find the video. He was a scary guy. Such a monster. He also

struggled to get down to 265 for that fight. He struggled to get down to 265. Yeah, he missed weight. He missed weight the first time. What did he walk around at? I don't know, but he was big. So John Sane. Not just big, like not fat, but big shoulders and neck. Huge. Such a monster.

Yeah. So John saying he thinks Glover is on stuff. Part of Glover Teixeira's mystique is his amazing physical strength, and I just questioned it. I have no reason to think he's on steroids, but I do wonder how someone could be so strong. He says, I'm sure I have fought guys in the past that were on steroids. I think it's pretty well documented. A lot of people haven't really argued with it because they know it's a true statement.

I know it's a true statement. I called Dana White and said, I want Glover to take steroid tests for this fight. He asked me, what do you think he's on steroids? And I told him, I don't know. I have no reason to accuse him of anything. But I would like to be sure. How can you be mad at that? You can't be mad at that. I don't know, man.

That's fair. I'm not mad at that at all. If he came out and was like, hey, Glover's on stuff, that would be an issue. There's Tim Sylvia when he fought Rico. Good takedown defense. Wow, look at that. He shucked that off. Big motherfucker, too.

Rico had a good guard, too, man. Rico's a legit Machado black belt. For sure. Tim Sylvia was scary back then, man. Rico had a good guard, too, man. Rico's a legit Machado black belt. For sure. Tim Sylvie was scary back then, man. Super scary. And he knocked a lot of guys out, man. A lot of people sleep on Tim Sylvie. He never gets brought up because he had sort of a dispute with the UFC,

but head kick Trey Tellegman knocked him out. And Tim Sylvie was not a natural athlete, by the way. Not at all. This is all from toughness and training. I mean, he's pigeon-toed, in fact. His feet, like, naturally went towards each other. And here, he stuffs a takedown again, roughs him up on the ground. And Tim Sylvia, back then, you're dealing with a guy really... Rico's got a good fucking high guard here. Nasty guard.

Yeah. And he was, like I said, a legit Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt. Very high-level black belt, Yeah, and he was, like I said, a legit Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, very high-level black belt, especially at the time. At the time, Rico was one of very few Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belts in the heavyweight division. There wasn't a lot of guys. Did you see him sit in O'Gara's guard, wrist control? Yep, yeah, yeah. Tim Sylvia, at this time, I think was one of the scariest guys ever.

I agree with you. But who knows how much of it was hard training, first of all, for sure. It was definitely some steroids involved. I mean, look at that. Look at that. Whipped over for that armbar. That was pretty fucking sweet.

Damn. That was pretty fucking sweet. Spikes him, gets out of it. That was a goddamn sweet armbar. Rico had a nasty armbar. I'll tell you what. Rico had a nice little appearance on Celebrity Rehab, too. I watched it, all of it.

Oh, no. With Dr. Drew. What was wrong with him? What was he doing? Everything. Oh, drugs. He likes a little booger sugar. He likes to have a good time.

He was known for partying. Yeah. Well, you know what? He likes to have a good time, that Tim Sylvia. I mean, that Rico Rodriguez. I was talking about Rico, yeah. Rico Rodriguez. I'm not mad at him.

He's a fun guy, man. He's a fun guy to hang around with. And there's the right hand. He starts's keeping the fight standing i'll tell you what my only experience with rico only time i ever met him he was cornering tito ortiz we're on the same card and uh he's looking at the at the corner and he goes who in the hell's schwab schwab fighting gonzaga i go right behind you man man. He goes, you're Schwab? Yeah, he goes, good luck, man, and walks away. I was all, wow, thanks, man.

Went in there. I beat the brakes off Gonzaga for three rounds, striking clinic. Walked back in. He's like, damn, great job, man. Give me a hug. What a dick. What a dick to say. That's a fucking mind fuck, former UFC heavyweight champion.

For sure, and I was a fan. I was like, oh, thanks, bro. Who said this to you? Rico Rodriguez. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. That's really funny. Funny, right?

Made me feel like shit. I was like, damn. That's a fucking bad time to feel like shit. Did you see this? No, what is this? Bisping and Tim Kennedy. Fucking Tim Kennedy at the press conference. Bisping was swearing at him.

Fuck you. You fuck, you fuck this. Chael and I were talking about this. Bisping legitimately makes a reason to hate you to get ready for the fight. Yeah, look at this. Meanwhile, you know. Who do you have in that fight? He's trying to scare Tim Kennedy, who's been to war. I know.

Tim Kennedy has been through a lot of bad guys. Tim's just grinning, man. He's killed a lot of bad guys. Tim's just grinning, man. He's killed a lot of bad guys. The difference between the fear that he's experienced and the fear of a fight and the preparation for a fight, this is like a vacation for him. It really is. Kennedy is rough. He's as rough as they come. His mental toughness is crazy.

You're not messing with Tim. Listen, he is as tough as a human being can get. Yeah, hands down. Hodger Gracie had his back. That was cool. He was chilling on the beach. Did not care. Double risk control.

Special force. I saw a lot of combat. It's a different world, man. That world of fear. In firefights. Yeah, in firefights. Killed bad guys. You know, that's his thing.

Fighting Bisbing's probably not that much for him. Life and death. Yeah, bullets, life and death. I mean, some of the stories that he tells about his firefights and the things that he can't remember how many firefights he's been in. How about that? Yeah. Who do you have in that fight?

Mouthing off. It's a good fight. It's a good fight. It's a good fight. Look, Michael Bisping has a fucking tremendous pace that he can keep. Michael Bisping has a fucking 34 heart beat per minute resting heart rate. That's crazy. That's incredible.

That's like the Shane Carlin. He is fit as fuck. It's the opposite of Shane Carlin. Kane Velasquez. Well, Kane is a freak of nature, man. He really is a freak of nature when it comes to his cardio. You talk to Bob Cook, he says that Cain will take like a month off, get injured, come back in, outwork everybody. Like, it doesn't make any sense.

Like, he doesn't have these, like, break-in periods where he has to get back in shape. And some of that is just genetic. Just like some people have incredible fast-twitch muscle fiber fiber We've met guys that have never lifted weights And they're fucking gigantic Big calves and shit But look at Kane I wouldn't say Kane's really explosive He kind of has that softer body

Where his endurance is going to be higher It's 100% genetics Well he definitely doesn't have the same kind of explosiveness Could you look at guys like Hector Lombard Who's just jacked to the gills His ears have freaking traps. You know, he's just like swole, all explosiveness. No one's more explosive than Hector.

I agree. He's the most explosive guy that's ever fought in MMA. He's like right up there with Melvin Manhoof. I think he's even more explosive than Melvin. Well, I think so, too, because of the judo. And they said, Hector, you're giant swole muscles. Let's give you the vegan Jake Shields. Let's see how this goes.

And fight. And fight. And fight. Vegan steroids. Jake caught his neck. Jake caught his neck with the last remaining seconds of the fight. He caught his neck and was hanging on. Jake's got a goddamn vice for a grip.

When he gets that guillotine, man, he tightens that shit up on Robbie Lawler. He tightens that shit up on everybody. And you don't think he's going to be able to get it. There's a lot of guys who think they can get out of that. Jake's strong as fuck. I'm actually going to train with him on Friday in San Francisco. Hector Lombard motherfucker hit some judo

throws in this fight against Jake Shields that you just ragdolled him. If ever there's a reason why, hey dad, why can't I be vegan? Look at this. Boom! Watch that again. It's insane. Just back that up again. Just back that up to that judo toss. Back it up all the way.

To do this in a world-class grappler like Jake Shields is just insane. Watch this. Boom. Damn. He does it with perfect technique and speed. He's one of those storms of athleticism and speed. And he's one of those storms of like athleticism and technique. And really, you know, started striking once he was already an Olympic judoka. I mean, that's when he started striking.

So he prefers to keep fights standing just because he's such a fucking specimen. Oh, you want to be a vegan? I'm going to play that tape for you. Oh, you want to be a vegan? Here, watch this fight. Like, in all fairness, when you talk about a style like Jake Shields, it's kind of like what we were talking about, though. Could have been a worse matchup.

They were trying to get rid of him. Well, I don't think so. They were just trying to give him a fight that was going to be a really tough fight. Yeah. I mean, look, it's like if you want to be in the top ten and he wanted a title shot, like, if he beat, look, what if he caught him with that guillotine the first round and finished it? You know, he's likely in the short list for a title shot.

If he could finish a guy like Hector Lombard. That'd be five in a row. But you see a guy like Hector Lombard, that style of fucking sprinting, you can't do it for three rounds. Can you even do it for five rounds? I want to see him fight Tyron Woodley. I think he's going to fight him. Woodley's fighting Rory.

Woodley's fighting Rory. Rory McDonald versus Woodley is a fantastic fight. Amazing fight. Especially if the Rory that beat Damian Maia shows up. If Rory is motivated and aggressive. Killer. He's got to get the fuck away from Woodley in that first round, though, buddy. Woo!

And Woodley, it's, you know, Woodley can move as fast as any fucking human being in the UFC. I don't care if they're 135 pounds. I agree. At 170, that fucking dude can move like a fast 135er. He's just that explosive. He's as big as you can ever get and be a world-class 170-pounder. And it's an interesting situation because there's a lot of debate after I talked about it on the broadcast about this body type.

It has its benefits for sure as far as explosion and speed, but it also has a lot of requirements. Like for oxygen. Oxygen, yeah. And it's like, can a guy take it deep into the rounds? What happens if a guy survives fourth and fifth? Because when Nate beat him, Nate beat him in the fourth round.

Marquardt stopped him in the Strikeforce welterweight title fight. Yeah. And that's what happened is Nate caught him slowing down. And Nate, you know, Nate then was before he's had a couple of these bad knockouts, like the knockout against Hector Lombard. Nate's as tough as it gets. The knockout against Ellenberger. Yeah.

When he fought Tyron Woodley, you're talking about Nate Marquardt. At his best. Yeah. But it's back against the wall, too, because he had been kicked out of the UFC. Finally gets back in the Strikeforce, and he gets a shot at the title at strike force. It's a big fight, and Nate was primed. He was in his prime. But look, a guy like Tyron Woodley, who's a superior athlete, he's just an elite athlete,

is still learning the MMA skills. But it's like what we were talking about before, is that what you're seeing now is guys who are on an athletic level like you've never had the UFC before. talking about before is that what you're seeing now is guys who are on an athletic level like you've never had the UFC before. Like go back to UFC one and you know you watched like you know some of these guys who are decent athletes, good athletes, you know tough guys and had incredible balls to get into the UFC at that time. Put Tyron Woodley in UFC one. It's crazy. You know crazy. Boyce Gracie ain't taking that dude down. No. It's not happening. Nothing's happening.

There's nothing happening. Just the evolution of the sport. Yeah. I mean, if you watch, like, when Tyron Woodley beat, like, Jay Heron, no one existed that could move that fast until recently. Right. No one existed in the UFC. Like, within the last five, six years, you start to see these guys trickle in that have

that kind of explosion, have that kind of athleticism, that kind of speed. And Hector is right up there. It's like Hector and Tyron. So it's like as someone who analyzes fights and analyzes, there's a point of diminishing returns. What's the best body type? Is it super muscular like Hector Lombard, or is it like a Carlos Condit guy that's super durable and can last round after round?

In the Woodley fight we saw, Woodley won. He fucked up Tyron's knee. But look. It wasn't really a fight. His leg fell off. His leg got hurt in the takedown, and then he hurt it again when he leg kicked him. It's not the same as him beating him with no injuries, but the bottom line is he wins.

He wins. You know what I mean? You can't quantify it the same way as a knockout or a submission. It's similar to Kane versus Brock Lesnar. One guy's just swole to the gills. The other guy, if you saw him with his shirt off, you're like, there's no way you're the best in the world. Except the fact that Woodley was still there in the second round,

and he's still going at it in the second round. You're right about that. There's a balance. Two muscular has its liabilities. They had that debate about what's the perfect weight for the heavyweight, like a boxer. When you get to a certain weight, you start losing speed and power. Is it 230?

Is it 240? Is it 235? It depends on the body. I think Bo Jackson... Remember Bo Jackson at 245? That freaky athlete? He would have been... He didn't lift weights. He would have been probably Ridiculous. Didn't even lift weights, you know. No. Ridiculous. He would have been probably, that's probably the optimal. And you know what he does now? Bo hunts.

Yeah, he does. That's his shit, man. Talk to him about hunting for, oh, I don't know, about two hours. Did you? When? When? You saw Bo Jackson, that's what you talked about? Hunting? And he talked about killing raccoons. That's what he wants to talk about. That's what he wants to talk about. He's obsessed with it. Oh, by the's what you talked about? Uh-huh. Hunting? And he talked about killing raccoons. That's what he wants to talk about.

That's what he wants to talk about. Yeah, yeah. Like, he's obsessed with it. Oh, by the way, we talked about football and baseball, too. You better have. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Auburn football, Heisman winner. You know what he said about football?

He said, well, I never looked away from when I played football. He was about 6'2", 245 then. And I said, what? He goes, I just strapped it on. And I'd just go in there, and I'd hear them whispering, Bo's in the game, Bo's in the game. And he would just run through dudes. And he said, what? He goes, I just strapped it on. And I just go in there, and I hear them whispering, Bo's in the game, Bo's in the game. And he would just run through dudes. And he said, baseball was way harder.

He thought of it as a very, very cerebral game, way more so. Here's Bo hunting. Bo knows hunting. He's in a tree waiting. Much like myself, Bo not only enjoys hunting big bucks, but he loves to shoot a few arrows in between. Shoot a few what? Arrows. Wait, wait. Shoot a few what? Arrows.

How bad are these narrators in these fucking hunting shows? Can we get better production? No. Can't. No. They get a dollar an episode. Put it together with you. You gotta pay for your own flight on Southwest.

You get out there, they're filming the shit with fucking handy cams. Oh my god, fast forward to this so we don't have to hear it. Just get to the part where Bo shoots it. Here he is. I wonder if he can pull back a 90-pound bow. He probably doesn't even feel it. He's moving nice and slow, too. He's a straight-up killer.

Look at Bo do it. Yeah, that's a light bow because he's pulling it back nice and slow. That deer is about an inch high. Oh, he's in a tree. Boom. Yeah. deer is about an inch high. Oh, he's in a tree. Boom. Yeah. Hey, I got an idea. Next time we bring Bo Jackson up, let's show some highlights of him destroying guys on the football field.

Well, that's what he likes now. He likes doing that. Well, I don't like Bo Jackson anymore. Because Bo Jackson bow hunts? Bo Jackson's super boring? You know what I find fascinating? Herschel motherfucking Walker. Almost 50. Still jacked.

Is he 51? He had his last fight when he was like 49. Insane. And by the way, take a look at his body. There he is against the Broncos doing work. Shredded. You don't want to see him sitting in a tree? He's a super athlete.

Herschel Walker's ridiculous. If he started when he was young, we'd all be in trouble. We'd all be in trouble. No shit, right? He'd rip people's faces off. Who's that? Herschel Walker. It's incredible that he had MMA fights in Strikeforce deep into his 40s. So crazy. See if you can pull up a Herschel Walker MMA fight. Let's not get crazy. Look at that.

Oh my god! Oh my god! No, he's shredded but he's fighting Billy from Kinko's who barely made it Let's not get crazy here. Look at that. Look at that. Oh, my God. Let's not get crazy. Oh, my God. No, he's shredded, but he's fighting Billy from Kinko's who barely made it to the arena and tossed on a mouthpiece and whooped his ass. Yeah, but still, he's 48. He wasn't fighting top-notch guys. Didn't he fight Chad Griggs? Who did Hershel Walker fight?

Did he fight? Are you going to? I mean, are you saying Chad Griggs is world-class right now? No, that's not what I'm saying. He's a very good fighter, though. Legit fighter saying Chad Griggs is world class right now? No, that's not what I'm saying. He's a very good fighter, though. Legit fighter. Chad Griggs is legit. Don't you shit on him, you son of a bitch.

I'm not shitting on anybody. Who's he fighting here? Someone with a pretty good guard, man. Oh, yeah, that was the... Damn, he was big. 48 years old here and completely shredded. There's a difference in athleticism, man, when you get to this level. When you get to a Herschel Walker, you're dealing with a 1 in 100 million. First of all, I talk about this in jiu-jitsu.

There's black belts, and then there's the 1% black belts. Yeah, exactly. Like Bouchesha, Hodger. Hickson. Yes, those guys. So he was, to make it to the NFL, you're the 1% of all football players. He was the 1% of 1%ers in the NFL. That's insane.

And 1% of 1%ers all the time. And right now we're watching him on Strikeforce beat up some poor white guy who has no business being in this. Scott Carson and Greg Nagy are the guys that he fought. He never fought Chad Griggs. My apologies to Mr. Griggs. He calmed down you over there. I'm just saying. I take Brian or you.

I take you, Jonah. Didn't you fight some guys that maybe didn't have the... He's 52. Yeah. No, he is a monster. Don't get me wrong. Still looks great. Yes.

It's phenomenal. I would take his body over mine right now. Exercise is a religion to him. TRT? He doesn't take that. You sure? I would be very surprised. He also says that he only eats a bowl of soup and a salad at dinner.

That's all he eats. Well, but he eats other stuff. Oh, that's not what he says. Exercise has always been a religion to him. Yeah, but he eats other stuff. Oh, that's not what he says. Exercise has always been a religion to him. Well, you know, he also had like an issue, a trauma-related issue with like multiple personality disorder.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, he had something that was going on. I heard about this. Yeah, it was going on before he had an MMA career. And everybody was like, wait a minute. If he's had a trauma-related multiple personality disorder. Here, I'll pull that up. Yeah, yeah, multiple personality disorder. Here, I'll pull that up. Yeah, yeah, multiple personality disorder, yeah. And then he started fighting.

He said, you know what, I'm bipolar. Let's take punches in the face. Yeah, at CNN, way back in, when was this article out? In 2008, he put out a book about it. And it was a book about his multiple personalities. And they believe that, I believe it's trauma related. I should probably Google that too. I don't think that, I mean.

I'll be honest, since I've started fighting, I'm a little more serious. A little quicker trigger for sure. If something's getting on my nerves, I'm with someone, I used to be super more laid back, I'd say. It says it usually has its roots in childhood trauma. That might not mean head injury. It might mean abuse.

Cope with trauma or abuse. I don't know. Also, it has to do with PTSD. I guess it is talking about abuse, about trauma, not physical, not like head. Being treated. But I mean, just think about the amount of head trauma that you have to get playing football

at a high level. It's unavoidable. There's no, right? You did it. It's unavoidable. Unavoidable. And really it's practice. It's the practice that does it. How many times do you think you got concussions while playing football? I don't know, five or six. Not that many. I was smart about it. You were aware of the risk of it. It's kind of crazy that five or six is like a low end.

Yeah. And I played fullback, H-back, where if you guys know the position, you're constantly running five yards. It's ridiculous now that I think about it. Five yards apart, you run as fast as you can into that guy with your head first. That's what I was doing nonstop. Jesus Christ. That's crazy.

Again, why wouldn't someone sit me down and be like, Brendan, listen, man, I don't think it's beneficial for your life to run into that guy. But meanwhile, you had success at that. That led you to success at MMA. I asked him if he would have traded his football career for training at MMA and he said

no. Not back then, the competition level wasn't high enough. You learned how to be a competitor. Dude, I was training with killers. You're talking about some of the very best athletes in the world day in, day out competing. Weight room competing, on the

field competing. I just learned mental toughness. You can't pay for that. At the time, in 2001, 2000, there wasn't that in MMA. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Wow. Fun times, boys. This is a fun fucking podcast.

In three hours, just flew by. Do it. Flew by. Let's pee my pants. We should analyze the UFCs. Yeah. Let's do some post-UFC podcasts. We'll do that.

Let's meet in a couple weeks after Jon Jones fights Glover. Okay. You want to do that? Not this weekend coming up, but the weekend after that. I'm down. Let's do it. Yeah, let's do that. Let's do a post-UFC wrap-up.

All right. We'll sit down and discuss it and talk about the undercard and all the shit that's coming up. Let's do it. And how Floyd Mayweather would get tapped out by Ronda Rousey. There you go. We didn't even talk about that. We didn't even get into that. How much time do we have left?

How many minutes? We can talk about it for a couple. How much minutes do we have left? Five. We have five minutes? We can do this. Yeah. It's not even a comparison.

No. It's not even a fight. If he learned how to have takedown defense, he would have to work on that for a long time. But the people online are freaking out. About what? I was on Sports Nation today. Great show. They asked me. Great show. Max Kellerman is fucking awesome. I love that guy. Smart guy, what? I was on Sports Nation today. Great show.

They asked me. Great show. Max Kellerman is fucking awesome. I love that guy. Smart guy, right? He's such a good... He's the best boxing commentator ever. Do you know he used to be a rapper?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Him and his brother, right? Yeah. Yeah, his brother was murdered by a boxer that he was a roommate with. What? Yeah, it's a terrible story. Yeah. What do you mean?

The guy killed him. Killed him with like a hammer. Ugh. Yeah. What a bummer. Yeah, it's a terrible story. What do you mean? The guy killed him. Killed him with like a hammer. Ugh. Yeah. What a bummer. Yeah, I don't know the full story. I read it online. Jesus.

Back to Ronda destroying Floyd Mayweather. That would 100% happen. It's again like we were talking about. Like, I can't play tennis. I don't know how to play tennis. If I play tennis with someone who knows what they're doing, I'm going to get slaughtered. If you don't know judo, and if you don't know how to grapple, and you don't know takedown defense, and you let that girl clinch with you,

you're going flying. I've seen Rana get a hold of MMA professional men. 215, 220 pounds. Tosses them. These guys have a clue of what they're doing. Little lone, you know what I'm saying? Floyd Mayweather, who has no

clue, and he's tiny. Yeah. He's tiny. Yeah, and she's a 150-pound woman, or 145-pound woman. 140, yeah. 135 when she fights? She walks at heavier than 140, too. She walks at 150.

She never gets out of shape. She's just shredded all the time. She's strong. You should see her mom. Her mom's on a keyboard all day, jacked, abs, forearms shredded. Her mom's a world champion in judo, man. That's some DNA. That's also some DNA.

Just like we were talking about those mice. That shit gets transferred. But it only got transferred to her because they're sisters. They're successful in their arenas, but they're not successful like Ronda in combat sports. Well, maybe they have that inside them. They just chose not to pursue it for whatever reason. Some people, they get weird shit where they don't want to do what their parents did.

But you know what's weird? When we talk about genes, how about Arnold Schwarzenegger's kids? What do they look like? Shit. They're all skinny. They're all super skinny. But you think Arnold Schwarzenegger, you think they're going to be jacked. Why aren't you doing squats?

You're not doing anything with your glutes, your hamstrings. Your back is very narrow. If you want women to be sexually attracted to you, you want to come inside them. You got to lift your body. It's got to be strong. You got to lift weights. You got to run. You got to do steroids.

Is that his daughter? His daughter's cute. Oh, she's a cutie pie. Look, try and find the sons. I think they're actors. I'll tell you the one. Let's not shame these poor boys on the podcast. No, I'll tell you the one who got the.

It's a positive note. The girl's attractive. The girl's attractive. I hope he's a great dad. The kid who he had with the maid, the little Mexican dude. Looks just like him. Jacked. Yeah.

Little dude has, yeah, he got the good genes. He looks like Conan. Good combination, Austrian and Mexican. Yeah. Survival. Good genes. Don't. What did I say?

Sorry. The fuck, man. Anyway. Hey, I'm sure these kids are, for the record, I'm sure the kids are super talented. You don't have to shame his fucking son because he's, you know. I'm sure he's super talented. I'm just saying he's not going to win Mr. Olympia. That's all I'm saying.

Is that fair? Well, maybe he would if he started lifting and taking steroids. It takes a lot of time and steroids. Yeah. Nobody's winning Mr. Olympia. And jeans. You got to walk around like that. I'm sure his jeans are okay, but he probably doesn't work out at all.

I mean, if he's, you know. He looks pretty jacked. I'll tell you what, the little Mexican guy is going to be your next Olympian. I mean, he is jacked. He probably doesn't get a chance to hang out with his real dad very much either. So he's in the weight room all the time. And that's probably going to be a bit of a mind fuck. He's in the weight room all the time.

Angry, doing deadlifts, you know. Anger can go a long way. Kettlebell. I wonder if he makes those noises when no one's around. That's a good Arnold. You go to Lyft. Pumping is better than cumming. You ever hear that from Pumping Iron?

Where he's like, pumping is better than cumming? I love that movie. The Fighter and the Kid. Where can people get it? iTunes, SoundCloud, Fox Sports 1. Website? We don't have a website. We need a website because now that we're on Fox Sports 1.

What year are you bitches living in? I know. Now that we do have a website, but now that we're on Fox 1 Sports, we do not have it. Fox Sports 1. For sure. We don't get that right. We do not. iTunes, though.

You can find us on iTunes. Fire and the Kid though Follow Brian and I At Brendan Schaub We post all sorts of stuff And we do lots of videos on Instagram What's up with them censoring your podcast That's whack as fuck You know this is the internet

This is nonsense Look how much fun we had today Look how much fun you guys had being buck wild Fox needs to just put a fucking warning on it. Take the reins off of us. Exactly. Take the reins off us. Warning.

Brian and Brendan are fucking awesome. They wanted to be on the internet but they wanted censored. That is so hilarious. It's like we want a rated X movie

but with no fucking. Right. It's dumb. We're bringing up a lot of these issues to them. They need to drop it. We're having a serious talk. Look, I have real sponsors

that are like real companies. You guys can have real sponsors that are like real companies. You guys can have real sponsors too. You can swear. It's just words coming out of your mouth. Just don't show any pornography or anything really ridiculous. I agree. Come on, Fox. Brian, don't wear those tight-ass jeans. Yeah, don't show. They got you going a little bit, didn't they? Don't show Mr. Sharp your cock.

Your cack. My cack. Get your dick out of my face. I did go from Boston one time and said, I like your cack. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Never happened. Thanks to LegalZoom. Thanks for sponsoring the podcast. Go to LegalZoom.com and use the code word Rogan in the referral box for more savings.

Thanks also to NatureBox. Go to NatureBox.com slash Rogan. That's NatureBox.com slash Rogan and save 50% off your first box. Thanks also to onnit.com. Go to O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word rogan and save 10% off any and all supplements. We'll be back tomorrow with David Seaman, and I'll see you guys in Atlanta this weekend.

Show sold out. Me and Joey Diaz, and we'll also be there for the Fox Night at the Fights, the UFC on Saturday night. Travis Brown versus Fabricio Verdue. Oh, I want to see that. Donald Cowboy Cerrone versus Edson Barbosa. Cowboy. Tate and Liz Carmouche. We'll see you fucks tomorrow.

Bye. Big kiss.