The Joe Rogan Experience - #49 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: October 19, 2010

Joe sits down with Duncan Trussell.

Can you turn it, unplug it, or is there an off button? Yeah, I'm going to unplug it. I should, huh? Yes. Totally. That's loud. It's kind of nice. This is the early menu screen, I guess.

The Ustream users are seeing us live right now. That's good. So, hi, Duncan. Hi. Is the stream on right now? Yeah, because I turned it on. I thought you guys were going live, so. But, extra bonus footage.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is how fucking disorganized this bitch is. This is how we roll. All right, three, two, one. Your cell phone, your wallet, your time, your ideas. No barcode, no party, no ID, no beers. Your bank card, your license, your thoughts, your fears. no SIM card, no disco, no photo, not here, your blood, your sweat, your passions, your regrets, your profits, your time off, your fashions, your sex, your pills, your grass, your tits, your ass, your laughs, your balls, we want, we want your soul. Your house, your clothes, your life, your cash, your house, your soul. We want your soul. Your house, your clothes, your life, your cash, your house, your soul.

We want your soul. Tell us your habits, your stats, your fears. Give us your address, your shoe size, your years, your digits, your plans, your number, your eyes, your schedule, your desktop, your details, your life. Get a job, get a pension, get a haircut, get a suit Play in the lottery, play football, play in the field, snore some toot We'll show you dreams, we'll buy you dreams, we'll sell you crap, we'll judge you back We want your soul, we want your soul We want your soul. We want your soul. We want your soul.

Your emotions, your love, your dreams, your checkbook, your essence, your sweat, your screams, your security, your sobriety, your innocence, your society, your self, your place, your distance, your space. Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control again. Here, watch this. Shut up. You are free to do as we tell you. You are free to do as we tell you. Here's a little bit of a dance. More commercials Love Jerry, not Oprah Buy a better life From the comfort of your sofa Here's popcorn

Here's magazines Here's milkshake Here's blue jeans Here's padded bars Here's armpit drag Here's football shirt Here's baseball cap Here's live talk show

Here's video games Here's go-alive Here's tin-bow lane Here's filter tips Here's collagen Here's all night Here's plastic You're the soul

You're the soul We are one You're the soul You're the soul We are one You're the soul We want your soul. We want your soul. We want your soul. We want your soul. We want your soul. Your soul, your soul, your soul, your soul, your soul, your soul, your soul. Go back to bed, America.

Your government is in control again. Here, here's American Gladiators. Watch this. Shut up. Go back to bed, America. Here's American Gladiators. Here is 56 channels of it. Watch these pituary retards bang their fucking skulls together

and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. Here you go, America. You are free to do as we tell you. You are free to do as we tell you. We want your soul We want your soul We want your soul We want your soul

We want your soul We want your soul We want your soul Your soul Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo No skaters, no tweakers, no turtles, no slime. Here's popcorn, here's magazines, here's milkshake, here's blue jeans, here's padded bars, here's armpit drag, here's football, here's baseball caps, here's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long infomercials. Wow. Pretty intense, right? That's good shit.

Yeah. That's Adam Freeland, and the song is We Want Your Soul. Fuck, that's apocalyptic, man. That song scares the shit out of me. That's a brilliant song, man. That's Google. That thing scared the fuck out of me. They definitely summed it all up.

Dude, it was brilliant. It was brilliant. That was brilliant. Dude, it was brilliant. It was brilliant. That was brilliant. The funny thing about it is, though, if there was a way to authentically sell your soul,

there wouldn't have to be any trickery involved in that. People would just do it. Some people would definitely do it. Well, there's people out there called bug chasers that are gay guys that are trying to get HIV. Trying to. Yeah, I know. They're trying to find sick guys to bang them in the ass. Yeah, they have bug chaser parties.

What the fuck? He just told me about this last time I hung out with him. This is real shit, man. It's real shit. Well, it's because apparently if you're gay and you are having unprotected sex, then there's always this paranoia that's kind of floating around you that you might have AIDS. Because, I don't know how it works, but when you get AIDS, doesn't it take some time to

show up or something? Like, sometimes it doesn't show up. Yeah, it's a very, very complicated virus. It's a tricky virus. It's very controversial. You know, I've never heard, there's no major virus that I've ever heard anybody say is fake, except for AIDS. Have you ever heard, no one's ever said that, you know, I mean, have you ever heard that heard anybody say is fake except for aids have you ever heard no one's

ever said that you know i mean have you ever heard like that gonorrhea is fake you ever heard that the aids is the only one that i've ever heard like this is not a real thing yeah that's right you can't get aids with a flashlight and it's a tricky well it's a tricky one because yeah we're sponsored by the flashlight fuck a flashlight instead of letting people with aids fuck you so you can get a bug that's ridiculous but like like the idea is that you have HIV first and that HIV causes AIDS. Right. That's what they're saying. Yes.

But how come it's not like one thing? Why isn't it like you get boom, you get syphilis. There it is. There's syphilis. Yeah. Why is it this tricky thing where you're sick? Oh, no. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know what you're saying. You get syphilis. Yeah. Why is it this tricky thing where you're sick? Oh, no.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know what you're saying. You get HIV and then HIV becomes AIDS. Yeah. Aren't you dying of HIV then? I don't know why. Do they describe it in two ways? There's a thing that I saw how there's different ways to define whether you have AIDS because there's a certain...

Isn't it like... What AIDS means is your immune system is broken down, right? Right. Is that possible that you can get that from both, from different things? So it's like what they're saying is HIV causes AIDS, but it's not the only cause of AIDS? Is that what they're saying?

Well, I mean, I don't know. Like maybe some other immune system breakdown type shit? Like there's other people that argue for, like there's a guy named, God, what the fuck is his name? He's, well, I'll look it up real quick uh but peter duisburg peter duisburg and he seems to be like this like really credible biologist from the university of california berkeley yeah and he's got this crazy theory that aids isn't real and that what it is is a conglomeration of a bunch of

other diseases and apparently he's been totally discredited. And all the mainstream scientific studies have pointed to, no, there is a very real connection between HIV and AIDS. And this is very irresponsible what he's doing. But this guy is still doing it. He's still saying it. And he's got all these papers that he's written on it. It's such a weird fucking, you know, that's a tricky ass topic, man. It sure is.

And it's tricky to cut through the you know all the information sources you have about it you have to think okay are these information sources that came from pharmaceutical companies manufacturing drugs which does happen oh hell yeah i just read this thing that there's a famous book by an advertiser i can't remember his name but it's supposedly like the one of the old Bibles of advertising. And he, he said that rather than just selling a product, don't be ridiculous. What you should do is create a demand, create the demand first, and then create demand for something that doesn't exist yet. Create a mythology around the thing you're selling. So I'm kind of describing it in a clumsy

way. So what he did is he started advertising in papers pianos. No, not pianos. He started in papers putting articles about how it's popular right now for families to be learning music and taking music lessons in their living rooms. But he ran a piano company. So the idea was, instead of just selling pianos flat out, he created this new thing in society, in the zeitgeist, which is that, you know, a really good family does have a piano in their living room. And so then people naturally decided to start buying the piano. So in the same way with aids or with uh swine flu or with uh you know god it's so funny to watch like the pharmaceutical commercials because it'll be like some problem you've never heard of in your fucking life like do you have minor ankle inflammation or one thing i saw was

like uh do you have particularly heavy bleeding on the 31st month of your menstruation cycle you might be a double heavy bleeder you know like they so they come up with this thing in all of history you've never heard of a double heavy bleeder but like they just invent this thing to start selling the drug and so you know think i don't know you're probably not a hypochondriac i'm a bit of a hypochondriac so think if like you're a woman and you have noticed a little more flow than normal. You're like, I might be a double heavy bleeder. That's a real quote?

You're being serious? Yes, sir. Yeah, that's true. Wait a minute. I thought you were just joking. About the piano thing? No, about the double heavy bleeder thing. No, that's not the scientific name for it.

They have a different name for it. But it is. You fuckhead. Double heavy bleeder. That's the worst name for any but it was like triple heavy flow it's got a weird name for it that's so ridiculous

but yeah so AIDS you know this information you're getting is this coming from pharmaceutical companies selling bullshit medicine or is it coming from actual scientists who weren't hired by the pharmaceutical companies to prove that their medicine is necessary it's confusing do you think there's that much corruption who weren't hired by the pharmaceutical companies to prove that their medicine is necessary? It's confusing.

Do you think there's that much corruption that they really get a chance to influence studies and findings? Do you really think there's that much corruption? I think it's cynical to say that. It's an interesting idea, though, right? How much corruption is there really? We know there's definitely some corruption. Well, they saved us from swine flu.

Remember how bad that was? That's such an industry, man. That's definitely some corruption. Well, they saved us from swine flu. Remember how bad that was? That's such an industry, man. That's the tricky thing is people don't understand. There are billions of dollars to be made. And so the idea that someone would invent a disease, no, well, that's ridiculous. They're not going to invent a disease. But they might make a much bigger deal out of something than it really needs to be. It's like all of a sudden it was a particular type of flu.

It was connected to a pig. And some people died from it. It's a strong flu. But there's strong flus every fucking year. People die from the flu every year. Flus are terrible. Yeah, but that's the thing. You know they all come from livestock?

No, I didn't know that. Not all of them, but a lot of them come from birds and pigs. That's where they come from. They come from our farm animals, man. Fucking living together in terrible conditions. I think. I might be making that up. No, I think that's what it is.

If you look at some of the video of slaughterhouses or like the really bad cattle farms that's the 10th circle of hell there man it's so strange how we're evolving as a being but so we have disconnected our own personal lives from the murder of animals for food like the connection between eating animals and having food totally completely removed it like i know so many people that love cheeseburgers. But you say, hey, you want to go hunting? And they'll look at you like, oh, fuck that. What are you, a redneck?

Yeah, what are you going to do? You're going to kill an animal? Like, oh my God. I would never do that. You know, yeah. They'll look at you like you're a piece of shit. Yeah. But they'll have bacon on their cheeseburger. I love bacon.

It's a double murder sandwich. No, it's... Cow and pig. Ugh. Slaughtered. If you a double murder sandwich. No, it's... Cow and pig. Ugh. Slaughtered. If you're a... By the way, if you are, like if you run into someone who's a hunter,

the negative stigma attached to being a hunter is pretty intense. It's like, oh, really? Jethro, do you go out there and hunt deer out in the forest, you fucking barbaric man? And meanwhile, you're stuffing your face full of mystery meat from Burger King.

Foie gras. You have no idea what the fuck it is. Yeah. Mafia meat. Yeah, Burger King meat. Yeah, it is a very curious thing. And also, the other thing of it, and I really have got Terrence McKenna on the brain right now

because I've been reading Food of the Gods. Fuck, man. Incredible book, huh? Incredible stuff. The ideas behind it are so fascinating. The idea, the big one, is the mushroom, the stoned ape theory. Yeah. For the folks who haven't heard us, I think we've talked about this before,

but Terence McKenna's theory was that the reason why the human brain size doubled over a period of two million years, it's like one of the biggest mysteries in the entire fossil record. And he equates it to the time where the climate changed period of two million years. It's one of the biggest mysteries in the entire fossil record. And he equates it to the time where the climate changed and rainforest receded into grasslands and these monkeys climbed down from trees and started experimenting with new food sources. And they would flip over cow patties to find bugs and beetles and shit like they do that today. And when they saw mushrooms growing on the cow patties, certain groups of these monkeys started eating these mushrooms. And two things happened.

One, it increased their visual acuity and made them be able to see much better. And then the other thing that happened is it made them horny. So here you have these better hunters because they can see things better. They're probably, they can throw things and they're more accurate. And then they're horny, so they're going to fuck. And then, of course, if they're eating plates of these fucking things they're gonna have psychedelic experiences even if you're a monkey maybe and if you have psychedelic experiences like every day maybe it's just like it's like a forced fed you know evolution thing well can i throw i mean it's a crazy idea

uh he so and he has a very scientific mind and i think he i mean he hated mentioning the idea of well he did i don't think he hated mentioning it but if you look at his live lectures he always like at one point he said he would much rather look at what happened to him when he was in the amazon and figured out the thing about the i-ching i don't know the exact quote but he said um he would much rather be able to call it psychosis than channeling because he was so anti the new age stuff and the new age movement but if and we kind of talked about this the last time i was on here and i don't think we ever like answered it which is the question is when you're having a psychedelic experience are you just seeing a hallucination or are you tuning in with some higher uh vibratory

higher intelligence some higher force mckenna talked about extraterrestrials. And if you've ever been on a psychedelic, and sometimes you do experience something that you would think is extraterrestrial. So this is where it gets weird. You know how people say aliens like landed some ship and dabbled with the DNA of the apes. And that's what caused the super evolution. What if it wasn't dabbling with the DNA the aliens did? What if it was the communication, like McKenna said, was coming through the mushroom? The way they were communicating with these apes that were eating them was like, oh wait, hold on. We've got some potential here. They have brains that could

develop. They're kind of tuning into us a little bit. Let's start feeding them some information. It's like, imagine if some primitive species on some other planet found a transistor radio and they could kind of in some way understand the communication coming from it they were still super primitive but there's some way maybe there was a video thing on it and you could show them how to make a fire like just hit flint together you can make a fire if you had the intention of like speeding up their evolution maybe it's the same thing only happen organically you know yeah i would think the same i would think that more than the other way i would definitely think that there would be much more willing to travel that way than by ships why why do we think that if we figure out eventually that we are all one thing you know

if we figure out eventually that all life and the air and space and everything combined is all really connected in some sort of a strange way that we don't totally understand, but there's some sort of a connection. These little spores, these spores are all like

they can go in a vacuum in space. They can travel in extreme cold and extreme heat. They can absorb radiation and not get damaged. They can travel in extreme cold and extreme heat. They can absorb radiation and not get damaged. And they can travel from other planets. Like if a meteor hits, a chunk of this planet can get knocked off and it gets sent flying into space

and it lands on another planet. And those spores all of a sudden that were in this rock get to give birth on this planet and just communicate with all the animals that are here. That's it. That's the idea. That's the idea, yeah, that they're transmission devices

of some higher intelligence, and they're not causing your... I just am so over that notion that hallucinating or being stoned is an artificial experience. You know, like, because I i i realized like i was really high the other day and i was walking down the street and i was like man this is fucking beautiful this is a beautiful day i feel great and then another part of my brain snuck in and was like yeah but you're stoned you're stoned this isn't real happiness real happiness can only come without the influence of a drug and And that is such fucking conditioning.

I realized, oh, that's conditioning. This is a valid, perfectly normal, good experience. Yes, yeah, absolutely. And why is it a good experience? I think one of the reasons is because your body is tuning in to this plant. I think marijuana, as does psilocybin, has a plant intelligence. And I think when you absorb it into your body, it gives you something different.

It's not just you. Because you are flat, you're a receiver. And when you put things into your body, there are certain things that you put into your body that have a very extreme result. They bring about a very extreme condition. Mushrooms are one of them. Marijuana's one of them.

We have to assume that there's... It's not just, oh, you're just tweaking your brain. You're just screwing with your chemicals. Maybe, or maybe you're tuning in to another frequency. Maybe allowing, you know, eating these mushrooms, eating marijuana, all this different shit that you do, peyote. Maybe it allows you to just tune in to their frequency. Yeah. And maybe it's not to just tune in to their frequency yeah and and and maybe it's not just um a real experience maybe it's a better more advanced experience than whatever the normal

non-stone state of being is i was just talking sometimes but sometimes not i mean when you when you smoke like heavy like og kush type weed and it turns you into a moron that stuff's not that good for the cause. But if you follow that, if you follow it has its uses. Do you remember, hold on a second though, do you remember the time

we were all in Houston? Yes. And we smoked Joey's weed? Yeah. And Joey Diaz smokes Sativas now, but back then he was smoking the deep Indicas. This was 400 pound Joey.

This was, he would go with the OG Kush dog. That's all I roll with. And we smoked it. We were all in the car and we. That's all I roll with. And we smoked it. We were all in the car. We smoked Joey's weed. And when we got to the hotel room, we were all standing in the lobby going,

what the fuck? Do you remember what happened before we got to the hotel room? No. Because it's the only time that's ever happened in my life. We went up train tracks. Do you remember that? We were driving on train tracks. Do you remember that?

Oh, yeah. You were on the very right, and train tracks. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. You were on the very right and you were on the train track lane. Oh, yeah. It was very confusing. Yeah. We were fucking stuck. Thank God I was sober while I was driving. Oh, yeah. No, I know. It was just a weird wrong turn.

The real problem with that weed is that it fucking crushes your memory like you don't remember what you were talking about five seconds ago like we we were standing there just bedazzled going what the fuck man what what's wrong and then somebody said it i don't know who said it we smoked joey's weed and they were like oh shit yeah i. That stuff is narcotic. That shit is cough syrup. It is narcotic. It is. It's cough syrup. It puts you in this...

It feels like you're taking like... They got that shit. Like it in or something. Yeah, it's not good. It's for people in like extreme pain. I guess it's probably really good. But some of it is not good. And you never know what the fuck you're going to get, man.

You know, that's the thing. Unless you're going to a dispensary. Unless you're like, you you're talking to the people that work there that are professional stoners, you never know what the hell you're going to get. If you're just buying weed from some dude, you don't know. You've got a goddamn crapshoot in your hands. You can get that coma weed. Yep. Not to mention, I mean, well, I guess it's true with all weed, but it's like, where did it fucking come from?

true with all weed but it's like where did it fucking come from like i wish you could just see with every weed you could just rewind and watch from inception to like making it into your pocket because it's such a funny journey that stuff has to take marijuana is a fascinating plant and what's more fascinating the fact that it's illegal i mean that's of course fascinating but what's really fascinating is that it's one of the most useful plants in the world, and it's illegal. Forget about the psychoactive effects. Just for nutrition and for use to make far superior paper, far superior cloth, and it's illegal to grow it. It's illegal to grow even the shit that is non-psychoactive. You can't even grow hemp, the stuff that can't get you high at all.

You can't grow that. But you think that hemp you can grow in Canada. And Canada's not like, hemp is going crazy. Everyone's making a shitload of money on hemp. You know, wouldn't it be like, I mean, couldn't we judge what hemp growing, you know, financial shit would be by Canada? Yeah, but it's not based on logic. That's the whole thing. It's like the moment you think that.

He makes a good point. I mean, you know, it's not like they're fucking. it's not like they're fucking Middle Eastern oil barons and shit. Look at all our hemp. Like all bitches and Maybachs and shit and diamonds. It's bullshit. This is the hemp empire, bitches. This is how we roll. Have you ever had hemp socks?

Not that good. Cotton, way better. Is it really? Yeah. Hemp clothes are great, man. Dude, you give a chick a hemp bra, she's going to have bloody nipples at the end of the night. She's going to have stinky feet. That's what's good about it.

Hemp bras, stinky feet. If you found another girl with a hemp bra, you'd be like, how bad do your feet smell? A great candle. How bad do your feet smell, you stinky little bitch? You little fucking hippie bitch. The best candle collection ever, though. Yeah, with your flower paint on your face.

Oh, man. What is that? Or the dragonfly on the face. Oh, man. What is that? Or the dragonfly on the spine? Oh, hemp girl. Why do your feet stink? Wait, wasn't that a Donovan song? Why do your feet stink, hemp girl? Could you imagine if you were living in the 60s

when people just discovered drugs and marijuana and the whole culture completely shifted? Can you imagine being a part of that time? We kind of accept the fact that LSD has been around. We were in high school. We all knew some guy who fucked up and took too much LSD. Imagine in the 50s, man, from the 50s to the 60s, what a giant transition that was. Just right after the 40s, right after that sweet Hoffman made that wonderful experiment in the laboratory

and it exploded into culture. And then before the CIA could start trying to beat it back into the bottle, like, oh, fuck, we've got to get this shit back in there. People are growing beards. Nobody wants to fight. But before that could happen, when it was just billowing out and just Ginsburg was giving speeches in front of just thousands and thousands of people,

not Justin Bieber singing about bullshit, but some bearded gay dude reading poetry in front of thousands and thousands and thousands of people on acid and Timothy Leary doing experiments with Ram Dass, and it was just this incredible moment. And then the fucking CIA got involved and the government got involved, and all of a sudden that's when they started pumping shit into the zeitgeist where it's like, oh yeah smoking pot, huh, makes you lazy.

LSD will drive you insane. Mushrooms, that's what communists eat. Who knows what it all is, but So you're saying they did this through, what, newspaper articles? Through the Reagan administration. Look at what the Reagans did. Now it's ten years after. It was like a it took a it took some time but this is your brain this is

your brain on drugs it's like oh really so you think that like the sweeping act of the with the 1970s um psychedelics when when they made everything whatever the act was that made lsd mushrooms made all that stuff schedule 1. So clearly that was because they saw there was a big culture shift. That was a culture shift decision, right? Absolutely. Yeah, because you cannot successfully pull off the level of conditioning that is omnipresent in this country or in any tyranny if people are taking psychedelics where they're communicating

with some higher intelligence, whatever you want to call it, plugging into the plenum, or even accelerating your mind to a higher frequency. That's the other argument. Maybe it's not. You're not taking in an alien intelligence when you consume a psychedelic, but you're just pumping your own brain up. It's like taking caffeine.

Does that give you a super intelligence? No, it just makes you accelerate. It makes you more. You get amped up. If you're on a psychedelic... So it could be that. Imagine taking a powerful psychedelic and sitting down on your couch to watch your nightly Fox News.

And while you're on a psychedelic, you see a Fox News reporter talk about someone who won the Medal of Honor, and the Fox News reporter says, he died fighting for our freedoms in Afghanistan. Now maybe if you're just some deluded alcoholic redneck in a trailer and somebody says somebody died fighting for our freedoms already freedom is a very mysterious word but someone's fighting for our freedoms in afghanistan maybe you can hear that and be like god damn it i don't know how our freedom

got to afghanistan but someone needs to protect over there. But if you're on a psychedelic and you hear someone say that, you're going to be like, wait, hold on. What the fuck is freedom? What is freedom? Is that something you can even really fight for? And Afghanistan, wait, terrorists are supposed to be in Afghanistan? You mean that's the only place you can plan terrorist attacks? Is in the rugged country of Afghanistan? You can't do that in China, Japan, Europe, France, any place where there's a hotel room with an internet connection?

Are you serious that we have to be over there fighting some Cobra commander when in any part of the grid you can... Just a 12-year-old with some fucking matches can do some pretty heavy damage to the infrastructure, man. Are you seriously expecting me to believe that soldiers are somehow in Afghanistan fighting off some kind of imminent threat that isn't anywhere else? Because if I was a terrorist and there were a shitload of American-trained death machines in my country and I wanted to plan a terrorist attack without getting interrupted by machine gun fire,

I'd probably just head somewhere else. Just get on a bus and go somewhere where I'm not going to get shot at while I plan my nuclear attack on the New York subway system. You're so emotional right now. I'm sorry, I'm moving. Sarah Palin gave a speech. Sarah Palin gave a speech recently, and in the speech she was talking about Pat Tillman because she was like in Pat Tillman's town she was talking about Pat

Tillman sacrificing his life for our freedom and you know and she actually quoted that in a speech and it's like it's really well known two things one that Pat Tillman was extremely disenchanted with the military once he got in and realized how disorganized it was how fucking chaotic

and fucked up it was, to the point where some people on the internet speculated they even killed him on purpose, because he was talking too much. You know, I mean, that's probably wacko talk, but it's just the fact that he was very vocal about it. And the second thing being, he was killed by friendly

fire. He was not killed defending the enemy, and they tried to lie about it. And they tried to lie about it for a long time. And it eventually got out that he was not killed defending the enemy and they tried to lie about it and they tried to lie about it for a long time and it eventually got out that he was killed by friendly fire but they tried to make it seem like he died in this heroic attack you know he was killed by an american in a cluster fighting for freedom it's a clusterfuck man these poor fucking kids man yes you imagine being 18 19 being talked into doing this shit for a bunch of bloodthirsty motherfuckers who just are trying to get whatever they're trying to get over there whatever the fuck it is whether

it's uh lithium you know whether it's you know minerals in the mountains that they use to make cell phones whether it's 90 plus of the world's opium supply 90 fucking percent I mean, god damn it. Heroin is absolutely addictive. People who try heroin get hooked. Heroin is everywhere. So you need to sell it. Someone's selling it. Who's selling it? I don't know, but 90% of it comes from this one place where we have to be to save our freedoms.

Like, really? What the fuck, man? Yeah, what the fuck? And that's the thing, man. And that's what's so frustrating. And here's the thing. I just want to say this. You can't criticize it.

Because if you criticize it, you're a shithead. You don't appreciate the troops and what they're doing for you. And that's not the case at all. I just don't like the idea of these fucking people leading us in any direction where you need to sacrifice your life. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. I don't believe them. Every time I meet anyone who's been in the military, they're authentically fucking good people. I have yet to run into someone who's...

You know why? Because they're warriors. And warriors have discipline. And the things that they go through... I feel the same way. Most military guys that I know are cool as fuck. Yeah. You know, it's because they

first of all they get broken down in training you go through once you go through all the fucking physical rigors of basic training

that's brutal to the average person and then you become a part of a group that has a code and you feel honored to be there and it elevates you

as a human being it elevates them together you know it removes a lot of your ego you know there's a lot of like the regimen and the discipline that you develop.

They can apply that to the rest of their life, like, very easy. That is why it becomes incredibly infuriating when you realize that... That they're being used against... They're getting dropped in a meat grinder... For no reason. For no fucking reason.

Exactly. You're dropping, like, some of the coolest, most fascinating, bravest, heroic people in a fucking meat grinder so the military industrial complex can sustain itself on their blood. Right, when there's been so many fucking lies. I mean, the more you look it up,

the more, I mean, go into any of the stories on the weapons of mass destruction before we invaded and compare them to what we actually know that they really knew when they said that. It's like they did it on purpose. They wanted to get in there for whatever fucking reason

and if it's some crazy the world is going to end if we don't stop this but we can't tell you shit I would love to believe you I would love to believe that the reason why you're not telling us exactly what the fuck is going on is because you're really protecting us from some insanely evil thing

that if we knew about it society would collapse but our strong, brave, powerful leaders are going to guide us without our knowledge. I would love to believe you. If you weren't all full of shit, if you weren't all getting busted left and right, cheating on your wives, stealing money. Jerking off on babies at the Bohemian Grove

while you worship the owl god Moloch. You see that too? Having gay sex. I mean, how many of these fucking guys in the Bush administration were gay? How many of them? There was a ton of them. You know how you know? Because there was a guy who was an embedded reporter named Jeff Gannon.

And Jeff Gannon ran a website that was all dedicated to gay military men. It was like military studs. They'd have dog tags on and a little towel over their cock. And it was like a gay escort service. And this fucking guy was running it. And he was an embedded reporter. He was in the White House. Right.

Throwing all these lob questions at the president. Like, when are these Democrats going to come to their senses, sir? Like, what kind of a fucking question is that? You know, like that kind of shit. Meanwhile, he was just sucking cock, sleep in the White House,

slept in the fucking White House on at least one occasion. Sure. Like, what the fuck, man? But it's Meanwhile, I was just fucking cocked, slept in the fucking White House on at least one occasion. What the fuck, man? The funny thing about it is the only thing that's surprising about it, or rather, it becomes extremely surprising according to how conditioned you are. One of the first things you have to realize

in any country that you're living in is there's some percentage of your mind that's filled with information that has been placed there intentionally to make you a good citizen. You are conditioned. I just saw a great National Geographic documentary on North Korea. And everyone should watch that. It's on Netflix Instant View. Watch it.

And the reason you should watch it is because you get a very extreme case of conditioning in the way these people act. extreme case of conditioning in the way these people act. And, you know, it's basically the way they got in there is they followed a doctor who was removing cataracts of North Koreans. And they told them that the camera crew was there just to monitor what he's doing. They didn't tell North Korea it was National Geographic. So they, you know, at the end of the thing, the people who can see stand up in this room. They're pulling the bandages off their eyes and they can see. And the first thing they do, they don't thank the doctor that helped them. They stand up.

There's a picture of Kim Jong-il and they go, oh, thank you, great leader. I will work five times harder in the salt mines for you. I saw them say that. It's true. That's real. That's the conditioning that's conditioning and it's if you think as an american citizen you don't have some of that in your fucking brain you're out of your mind you're conditioned we all are and because when you're growing up that's what

they do what do you do and it's also that we would like to believe that there is some sort of a higher ideal we would like to believe that america something that's above everything, and we are noble and brave. We do do the right things, and we are the police force for the world because we are the only good Christian nation that is here to support the right values. Yes, yes. We have everyone's good in mind. That's the conditioning.

Yeah. I mean, but there's a lot of pride behind that. It's similar to the idea of being in the military. It's like you're a part of something bigger and greater and more noble. Conditioning. And so the whole, that's like,'re a part of something bigger and greater and more noble. Conditioning. And so the whole, that's like, military is like the highest level of that. And then being a proud citizen is just slightly below that. Yes, and that's all.

But it's also an ideal. I mean, it's also like, it is conditioning, but it's also like, wow, wouldn't it be ideal if we all did have a moral code that was like really responsible and we were really cool to each other and we were really disciplined and we did the right thing. The codes, they exist on paper so that they are an ideal. So if we're all proud of that ideal and we subscribe to that ideal, that does kind of elevate us. Well, I think that...

I think it's better, honestly. I do think it's conditioning, but I do think that framework of conditioning is better than a wild free-for-all. I think that if you look at a beehive, there's conditioning happening with pheromones from the queen. To run the beehive, it's not to say that we should allow society to fragment into individual units that are all running around screaming that there's nothing to believe in it's just uh the idea is that yeah of course man the the human ideal the ideal of making sure that you know if you hear it if you hear about life liberty and the pursuit of happiness if you really think about that ideal the pursuit of happiness. If you really think about that ideal, the pursuit of happiness, life, your health and being healthy and being able to evolve and be strong, liberty, your freedom,

your ability to do whatever you want and to do that, to pursue whatever happiness that you want with that liberty, that's amazing. If this country really stood up for those ideals and people were really fighting for those ideals, we would be in some kind of techno utopia. There'd be Cordova milk bars and mescaline cocktails that you could drink and perfectly engineered pharmaceuticals to enhance your intelligence because in the 60s they didn't cut off all research on psychedelics and they would have made the leap into really why it was working and why it helps people who are depressed, why it helps people who are alcoholics, why it helps people who are dying. It wouldn't have gone underground, and we would have so much more research.

But the very fact that psychedelics are illegal, marijuana is illegal, the very fact that we are not allowed to put into our body anything that we want shows us that those ideals that you're talking about are not being upheld, but suppressed. Right. Now, what's behind that? I mean, it's the man, man. What is the machine behind it? How does it happen? How is it in the same situation today as it was in 1970? With all the information that we have, you would think that 40 years would go by.

Well, that's ridiculous. That's a long ass time. With all this information that we have, there's so much work that needs to be cleaned up. There's so many assumptions that we had made in the past about so many different things in our society that we have found through the age of the internet to be not true. One of them is everyone can

access marijuana studies now. When I was a kid, I thought marijuana gave you brain damage. I heard all kinds of crazy shit. I thought for sure you could probably die from marijuana. You could OD on it. There was so much misinformation. But now we know. Now it's all very clear. Now it's everywhere online. The only way we can trust the government is if you amend shit when the shit that doesn't make sense anymore is inapplicable. These drug laws that were put into place when people didn't have the internet, when you couldn't go research all the positive benefits of psilocybin mushrooms, how many people have quit... They've had people that were lifelong cigarette smokers.

One cigarette... Or one mushroom trip, rather, and they never smoke a cigarette again. They realize what the fuck they're doing to their body. They think about the whole situation, how ridiculous it is, how they get sucked into it, and they never smoke another cigarette ever again. There's nothing that has that kind of success rate. Like Ibogaine, that's another one. That's another psychedelic that does that. Heroin addicts, people who get hooked on pills, they go and do it, bam.

They completely drop their addiction, have a totally different way of looking at life. Yeah. Well, yeah. Because it's a... But who's stopping it? How does it get stopped? It's a... I mean, I think Terrence McKenna sums it up by talking about the dominator culture and

the partnership... But it's got to be ignorance on the part of the people that are in the position of power. It must be ignorance as to the effects of these psychedelics. Because if it wasn't, and they were doing them, if they were doing it and they knew how powerful psychedelics are for elevating your consciousness, if they knew that there's all this potential, that you could take it in a shamanic fashion if you do it intelligently, it's like a massive vehicle for human growth.

If they didn't know this, then they're acting on ignorance. Because if they were experiencing it, if they were doing this, they would change everything. They would change everything. I firmly, absolutely believe that if all the people in charge were doing weekly and monthly mushroom rituals,

they would completely rethink everything. Absolutely. Everything. Absolutely. So you know they're not doing it, right? No, they're not. So whoever is in charge of keeping things on a Schedule I list, whoever is the person who informs the DEA,

like these are some things we want to concentrate on, this is blah, blah, blah, chase after this, go after that. Yeah. Whoever's doing that clearly isn't experiencing these things. Follow the money. That's how you find out who's doing it. The people who are doing it are the people who make money enforcing the law. Right, but my point is we need to get those people on mushrooms.

That's really what needs to happen. It sounds crazy, but that might be the way to fix the world. The way to fix the world might be to get all the leaders on mushrooms. I've thought about this. Fuck yeah, for real. It sounds like hokey 16-year-old parking lot bullshit. Yeah, man, we need to get all the fucking meters on mushrooms, bro. But it's not just –

But really. I mean how much has mushrooms helped you? Yeah, but I think I would have been fine if I didn't have mushrooms. You're not fine now, kid. But seriously. Yeah, I think I like what mushrooms did to me. But if I didn't do it, I don't think I would be fucking freaked out. My drawings just wouldn't be as good.

Oh, I think you're discrediting the information that you get when you have a good trip. When you have a good trip and you come back, you're like, oh, God, I'm such an idiot. You come back, you're like, wow, I'm so humbled. I was thinking so foolishly, and now I see it all. It's like, wow, why wasn't it here to me before? It's like I was just out of my grasp, and now I have this elevated point of view, and it lasts as long as you can hold on to those ideals.

It's like as time goes on in between trips, they slowly become more and more ethereal. They slowly become more mist-like. You can't quite grasp onto that feeling of being connected. It's like you're like, well, it's running's running out i'm gonna have to go in there again that's the life yeah is there a library card yeah go in there again restore yeah go and restore restore settings yeah and and and and i think that um what you're talking about is absolutely true and i was thinking like you know what if somebody engineered a virus that somehow was like gap gave people a psychedelic experience that was contagious that if you sneeze

the person you sneeze on is going to trip out right so that this sort of like wave of people tripping from some kind of bizarre new virus spread across the country and and induce the state that you're talking about. It's got to be possible. Look, I think if animals can spray toxins out and kill you, and animals also excrete psychedelic compounds, like those toads that have 5-MeO-DMT on their back, they secrete it.

If that's possible, so we know they can spit spit and we know that they can secrete psychedelics well sure they can spit psychedelics at you that would be nuts man a fucking frog that just jumps in front of you and makes you trip out or a mosquito

could you imagine dude a mosquito that does dude it just hops on you it's a frog like you're chilling with your boys you guys are like having lunch and shit

fishing whatever and all of a sudden a frog jumps on you and like dude he got zapped and the kid's like gone for like five hours do do do do do do do do you remember when AIDS first came out

and there was that whole thing with mosquitoes having AIDS blood and everyone was like oh no it's AIDS mosquitoes I do you could call into work and be like dude I got zapped by a tripping frog. I can't come in. Tripping frog.

You'd have to have your mom calling for you. You wouldn't be able to pick up the phone, man. You'd be wrestling with that thing. But you know what I was thinking about? The frog jacked you. The frogs have like a smile. They're like a smiley frog. A clown face.

They just jump right in. Just spit in your face. They wear capes. And you always hear that same face. They wear capes. Dun, dun, dun, dun. And you always hear that same song. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun. You find yourself falling into the fucking... That's what it's chirp would be.

It would be that song. If only. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah, you hear them out in the field. I've been waiting so long. Oh, shit. Dun, dun, dun. Here it comes.

Imagine they could fucking sing. Your grandma gets hit with it once. Who's playing this fucking song? Where's this song coming from? God, that'd be great. To be where I'm going. What the fuck, man? I'm hearing singing.

You hearing that? Jump up. Right in your face. Oh, no. Dude, I have an important meeting. Shit. Yeah, man, for sure. That's possible.

For sure. That happened to me twice. You know what I was thinking? This is a weird thing that I was thinking the other day. What was life like before eyesight was invented? Okay, because there was life before eyesight. Right. The first life was like single-celled organisms.

Yeah. And then they started combining and mutating. Yeah. And then eventually they picked up the the ability to see yeah how fucking insane must have the world been when there was no eyesight yeah that's something that someone developed but stop and think about that for a second organisms develop this ability to see things right to recognize the space in front of them if we didn't have that, if no organisms had that,

this would never have taken place, right? The evolution of human beings, the ability to do what we do, we have to be able to see things and touch things. A tree falling in a forest, did it really fall? If no one saw it? What I'm saying is, what if there's other senses that we easily could develop, just like eyesight, they just haven't gotten here yet?

Yeah, that's it that's totally i mean if we're we're okay the idea is we'd like to think that we're the most evolved things ever because we are for earth we're the most of all things but we're not as evolved as we're gonna get okay if like if you if there seems to be if you look at like the way life has evolved there seems to be things just keep getting more and more complicated and it accelerates, right? And whether or not you believe that there's some sort of a magic man who created the whole world or some sort of an all-knowing, intelligent design entity that's non-visual,

that's a part of everything, whether or not you believe in any of that stuff. I mean, you still have to look at the whole picture and go, it's a very strange existence. Yeah. And you know what was weird is back in the primordial past when blind things were wandering around.

There easily could be a bunch of other shit. If they could talk, the blind things back then, if they could talk and the ones that just started to see looked around and they're like oh john i don't want to sound crazy man but we're surrounded by water and what appears to be coral reefs like what's fucking wrong with you man larry went insane do you hear his nonsense talk about the coral reefs and the water what a fucking idiot it's the same thing now people start having these visionary experiences and they're

like you know what i think we might be surrounded by a matrix of infinite intelligence that likes to personify itself in the form of extra dimensional entities that seem to look like elves people are like dude shut the fuck up you sound crazy you sound like a retard bro like a retard um but you know as we advance you know maybe that is what we'll begin to see in some way. Without having to smoke caustic shit. Well, it's got to be something next. There's got to be something next. I mean, human beings evolved out of the lower primates.

And the lower primates would make noises and gestures. Then eventually we figured out language. Then written language, recorded history. And then we evolved to where we can communicate today. It's got to keep going. Sure. It has to. It's accelerating.

The changes are happening quicker and quicker than before. Yeah. I think you're going to eventually get born with Bluetooth. You know, like your body is just going to have some kind of robot electronic in it now. What if all the signals that we send out, you know, I mean, when you think about it, signals are relatively recent in terms of human history the history of the human biology you know i mean signals have only been around like radios for a couple hundred years or something like that like how long has radio been around i don't know 1920s was it really something like

that's it but whatever it was it wasn't 1800 yeah so before that there was nothing man you had no signals in the air and then it was radio and then it was cb radio and then cell phones and satellite there's satellite sending signals there's signals all over the fucking place what if we start evolving the ability to pick up these new things called signals like what if the only reason why human beings needed eyesight was because they had to climb out of the primordial muck and and figure out their way around and it was easier to not fall off cliffs yeah see where the fucking cliff was so they started to develop this like what if that's what's going on what if we are going to develop the ability to tune into signals you know i don't think it's going to be genetic but i think you're

going to be able to talk to each other without saying words like the more we start getting advanced with computers and we're doing symbols and signs i think pretty soon we're going to be able to start communicating without talking like kind of like I could just sit there and like look at you. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think that's the sense that's DMT. When you have a DMT trip, that's what it feels like.

It feels like communication without it with intent, but with no words. It's like, I understand exactly what you're saying. I understand. I, but I understand it more of like, as a,

like a wave, like blocks of numbers and letters. There's no blocks or number of numbers and letters the communication is like it's like a very clear and obvious wave yeah of information right that thing yeah that's it yeah i know what you're talking about whatever that wave is that it'll talk to you in your own language because that's what you need to hear right but you realize while this is happening or while it's it's talking that you're no that's not you're just you're just interpreting what it's saying and relaying it back into english that's what you're doing right yeah your fax machine is picking it up and printing it out yeah well you're you just you can't you it's like remember when you

used to have um uh an emulator for windows and you had mac and it sort of opened up in a window yeah like it was all like, jonky, and didn't, that's exactly, that's what's going on. Yeah, yeah, you can't quite understand what they're saying,

so you have to do it through an emulator software, you have to like, run it through your own vocabulary, but you're getting pure intent from them, you know, that's why like, when I saw, one of the times I had this DMT trip,

the DMT things, they always say a bunch of the same things, and one of the things they had this DMT trip the DMT things they always say a bunch of the same things and one of the things they say is relax and don't give in to astonishment and when I heard that I didn't know if the reason why they said that to me was because I had heard Terrence McKenna say that they said that I didn't know, I was like fuck

like what is this are they saying this to me because I knew they were going to say this to me? So they're reinforcing it? Or is this just something replaying in my head because I expected it? Maybe it's a total hallucination. But it seemed like what they're doing is trying to say that. They're trying to say that.

But they're saying it with pure intent. And you put it into the words that you would use. And the words that I would use was the words that i would use was the words that mckenna would yeah used sure so it's like they're saying to you relax and try to take this in but they're not using words and they're saying look at this like they're showing you things like they keep showing like more and more complex crazy images and as they're showing you these different things they're saying look at this look at this but you don't really hear it it's like you know they're saying it but you don't really hear it that's the next shit man right pure intent pure intent with no mouth noise yeah that's really good i like that because i was

as you guys were talking i was thinking about like well yeah i mean i'm sure there's going to be a you know through technology and ability to like transmit thoughts in some way but yeah what you're saying is tuning into something else which is uh something bigger than like human communication it's tuning into what uh mckinnon calls uh like the guy in mind or like the mind of the earth the mind of the earth tuning more into that and like hearing what that message is or even more tuning into the uh the you know universal consciousness or the thing that connects you to all things and and you know what would be awesome man and this is another part of it and i don't mean to keep going back to the conditioning bro

but it would be so awesome to be able to have the experience you had and just accept that it was real to not have to go back through your head well no i think it's important to question whether or not it's real i think it's important to question whether or not it's just a pure hallucination yeah it's just your brain has been dumped with an extreme amount of chemicals that are usually there in small doses yeah and your brain is hit with this overwash and because it all these synapses go off and it creates these beautiful hallucinations yeah it's possible i'm not i'm not absolutely convinced that what's happening when you have a dmt experience is that you're you're going into an actual another dimension and communicate with actual other entities i know it feels like that but it could

be that my imagination is on fucking hyperdrive yeah it's it's a possibility that you have to consider as unlikely as it is yeah or rather as unappealing as it is to me yeah i would love to think that like it's it'd be way cooler if there's a drug that your brain makes it lets you talk to aliens yeah that's way cooler yeah but it's possible that it's not that's not what's going on your brain is just getting like wonked but if duncan came to you and said i believe my dreams i think my dreams are trying to communicate communicate with me you have to at least think that maybe that's possible too that's kind kind of like the same, you know. That your dreams are trying to communicate with you. Yeah, that's the other thing.

So if you're a dream master. I think sometimes people push things into the back of their mind and then in their dreams they're trying to work out those issues and those issues come popping up. That happens sometimes to people in their dreams. Well, I have a variety of different types of dreams. Some dreams clearly are whatever just happened. Like, you know, like Glenn Beck is like having a conversation with me about pasta because I ate pasta while I was watching Glenn Beck and fell asleep. There's those kinds of dreams. And then there's

the other kind of dreams. And the other kind of dreams, if you're lucky enough to remember them, are much bigger than that. Like sometimes I'll wake up and i can it's almost like i'm waking up from a lecture where somebody in like an almost like monotone voice is like and then the true reason for loving other people is it creates a unified consciousness that allows the furthering of the evolution you know and you wake up like what the fuck was that but like i think you're kind of like you're sinking you got to talk more into the microphone because your your volume is all over the road i think you're kind of like, you're sinking. Dude, you've got to talk more into the microphone because your volume is all over the road. I think you're kind of sinking. Oh, there you are.

People in their iPods are just going, fuck my ears. Sorry, guys. Sorry, you just got a little too casual there, fella. For the last time I did this podcast. We had shitty mics last time. These are way better. They pick you up way better. But you adjusted and moved way further away.

I fucked up. I wasn't talking about the mics. But the last time I did this podcast, i got contacted by some of the coolest fucking people i've ever been contacted by on the internet like mind-blowing people like people were sending me their art on facebook that was like insanely psychedelic and like i got real i got a flood of like the most mind-melting youtube videos of different people giving lectures and one of them and i can't remember the guy's name damn it which isn't fair to the person who sent it but i wish i could remember it he was talking about how they're finding out that in in um there's no such thing as empty space it's just filled with intelligence it's just

it's condensed information and every single quantum molecule of the universe is just pure information. And like, what my theory is right now, is that maybe when you're getting high, you're tuning into that information field. And it's some kind of extraterrestrial library that where the books transform into words and letters and ideas that you've experienced in the past, because there's no other, you know, there's no other grammar for it. There's no way to communicate the information to you because it's outside language. It's pre-language. So it's shaping it according to, you know, for you, like you said, McKenna talked about don't give in to astonishment. And so that's what you read or saw as this wave of intent was coming to you but to me to dismiss that wave of intent uh as a hallucination

is and i know you're doing it speculatively i think that you or i i feel like maybe you're just saying that but i think you may have made a decision about it already i know you know i honestly i have and i haven't i'm still open to the possibility that this is all horseshit you know that everything is horseshit but i i absolutely believe there's a benefit to this horseshit there's a benefit to the quality of life for the person that's that's done it and had the experience i think there's a benefit to the people that are around him the people that he interacts with or she interacts with that you'll you'll create more positive energy and you'll have like a better base to operate under like the thing you said about like all these cool people

contacting you on the internet yeah dude i have so many fucking cool fans on my message board and on on twitter there's a lot of cool motherfuckers out there cool people and one of the things that i'm finding when i'm talking to all these people that i'm running into like we did the uh these shows in england and uh a huge percentage of the people in the audience were podcast listeners. A huge percentage. When I yelled out, like, how many of you guys watch the podcast?

Fuck, they went fucking crazy. That's awesome. So I'm thinking, you know, like, wow, this is nuts. Like, this is, it's so cool that they could just download it all over the world. Yes. It's so free and open and out there, right? And I was talking to this kid afterwards,

and they were telling me how, like, there's no one who talks like this near them. They're like, for two hours every week, or if you do two of them, four hours every week, we get to sit down and talk and listen to people talk that we don't know anybody like that. We don't know anybody who just considers all the different options in an argument and has these weird, bizarre topics that they talk about and puts themselves out there and is really honest about shit like

this. And these dudes were like, dude, you're changing the way we look at the whole world. Yeah. And I'm like, whoa. I thought about that. I'm like, I wish I had something like that when I was young. I wish I had something where there was just some, I could communicate, basically sit and listen to people communicate with basically sit and listen to people communicate with, and sit and learn.

It's almost like sitting at a table with your fucking, you know, your cool dad and his friends, you know, when you were a little kid. If you had a cool dad, my stepdad was a really cool guy, and I would sit around with his friends, and I would listen to them talk. Oh, I see what you're saying. And I was like, you know, 12 or 13, and they would let me stay up, and they would be sitting around talking. And there was all these architects and shit like really intelligent interesting guys

and i was like wow i'm like yeah i'm kind of thinking how they think you know i was like tuning in to the way they thought and it was like helping me it was like helping me like see things like a little differently than being around a bunch of other 12 year olds right you know i'm saying yeah i totally know so for a lot of these people like they're like dude don't know anybody like you. We don't have anybody like you in our town. Everybody's thinking inside the box and everybody wants you to just get a good job and just move on and get a family and don't consider anything and go to church to be a good person. And there's a lot of people that we're talking to. They're like, they're starting to look at this thing. They're starting to back up and they're starting to look up at the sky and they're starting to look to the left

and look to the right and go, whoa, what the fuck is this? What is this thing we're doing here? Because this isn't just, we're living life. In the beginning, Bob was a baby. Bob went to high school, then college. He played a bit of football before settling down with his lovely... No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what it is. That's just some shit we made up to make ourselves ourselves feel more comfortable i mean those events are actually taking place bob is going to school bob is but that doesn't mean shit okay what really means something is we're flying through the fucking universe we're in space we are in a ship

it's an organic ship right we're not we're the ground, okay? We're thinking we're on the ground. No, we're flying. I'm afraid to be in space in a spaceship. You're on a spaceship right now. It's just fucking huge. It's a 24,000 mile across spaceship. Yeah. Okay?

It's a spaceship. That's what it is. We're not grounded. It's not like the universe is a solid mass and we're sitting on it. We're flying. We are right now hurling and we're spinning a thousand miles an hour. Yep. Spinning a thousand miles around.

And we're doing it around a massive nuclear explosion. I'm late for work. Fuck. I've got to get my blockbuster video back. I'm Meg Whitman, and I'm going to clean up California with conservative thinking and values. Yeah, we're caught in a massive field of time. We're being carried on the river of time towards some unified future where either we get blasted by a nuclear holocaust or something

happens where we all merge into the the universe through technology or skynet goes live or skynet goes live oh those fucking japanese dolls dude we were talking about that before the podcast the japanese doll that sings there's a new job oh wait i'm sorry i'm really sorry can i make one more point about what we were just talking about and And then we'll talk about fucking robots. But the thing that I was thinking to address the point of like doing a podcast and getting these kinds of ideas out into the places where they might normally get, it's like there's two points. One is this technology has only existed for a very short time. Yeah, like 93, right? That's when it became accessible to everybody?

Yeah, to have the money to get this kind of gear together and then put it on the internet, it costs so much less than it used to cost. So anyone can create these little nodes transmitting the information. Number two, this is what I was thinking. There is an idea coming. I don't know what the, like when Tesla had his idea for alternating current, this idea came to him in a vision, right? So there's an idea coming and that idea transforms society. And there's been so many ideas like that that transform society. There is an idea coming. I don't know what the fucking idea is. It could be a drug. It could be a machine. It could be a coming. I don't know what the fucking idea is. It could be a drug.

It could be a machine. It could be a movie. We don't know what it is, but there's an idea coming that might be the next transformative idea and the last transformative idea that finally pushes us outside of being stuck in the ego structure and becoming part of everything else. And I don't know what the fuck it is, but what you're doing here by putting information like this out, and any time you put information that goes against the conditioning, what you're doing is sending out little messages in bottles, and eventually one of those things might wash up on some super intelligent person's shore,

and they might open it up and be like, wait a minute, holy shit, wow, I they might open it up and be like, wait a minute. Holy shit. Wow. I just thought of whatever it is. Xernon 49, the device that opens up a portal into the future and creates the machine McKenna talked about. It's like the idea of spreading this information is to lay the framework so that whatever this fucking thing is that we all know is in the works and it's

a lot more than a sweet asian android you can fuck in the mouth whatever this idea whatever this idea is it's like it's not gonna end there's a lot of people have to people have to realize it's not gonna end the the real thing is we're living our lives. We're going through this, what we think is a predetermined pattern of behavior, following the same roads to get to work every day. We're thinking that it makes sense, but all the while we're doing this, we're supporting technology

and technology is developing at a far, far faster rate than our biology can process. What I've always said about movies and songs and everything, that it kind of freaks me out how much they get to me. It kind of freaks me out when I see Avatar and I'm like, this is fucking amazing.

And it ropes me in and I'm like, God, I want everybody to be okay and fuck those assholes and want to fuck up your planet. You get roped into it and then you leave in this, I just went through a journey. My brain and all my reward systems got hijacked and I went through like a journey. You know what I'm saying? My brain and all my reward systems got hijacked

and I went through this journey and it felt really good and it felt really cool and everything but I was thinking about it and I was like, that's one of the reasons

why people are so fucking childlike and delusional and it's not because there's some grand programmer that's trying to keep us in line. It's because the media itself, the ability to create movies

that are super satisfying, the ability to create these happy endings, that's what we want to see. Even though that's not what happens every day, that's really what we appreciate because that's the highest rewards ratio that we can get from watching a performance. But we're not set up to process that. We're set up to process real events, and we're set up to process real events and we're set up to imitate successful behavior we see the one monkey that's a bad motherfucker that knows where the snakes are and he beats a snake with a stick and everybody runs away i want to follow that guy he knows where the fucking snakes are that guy's cool and you imitate his behavior you whack this the ground find out where the snakes are you know what i mean it's like they pick it up from the leader they get your information

you know we we need to to think about it that way i think yeah so like what the information coming from the media now is what it's like if uh i've i just can't find a man to love me you know what i mean it's like how many movies are based on some some woman uh either having to choose between two guys and she can't pick her the marriage isn't going that well but she meets a or love her from the it's all about the reproductive cycle it's all the movies are all about like the the great conclusion is a successful reproductive cycle yeah these these things hijacking our reward systems these music and everything and and you know the beauty of music it's like the beauty of birds chirping you know get to appreciate nature it's like we have this built-in beauty of recognizing

rhythm you know thumping on things and tapping on the ground. But when you hear a real song that moves you with beautiful lyrics and fucking music, like God, it changes your whole state of consciousness. Yeah. And it just completely hijacks your reward system. And what I'm thinking is that these things, these things like songs and movies and all these brilliant things that people create. What they're doing is just accelerating the need to make cooler shit even faster. It's like, here's your reward.

You don't want to make new technology? Make new technology and I'll give you Bluetooth image oh so bright. You give me more reward. Brain juice stuff flows down. Make you happy. Avatar so blue. Look at skin gold so high resolution more love more love so for that i need to get the latest love thing the name latest love box bro it's 90 fucking inches

across yeah it's amazing 3d you don't need glasses and it's like wow they got to develop the next what's the next thing you have to kick it to another level we're going hologram folks we're going hologram no more screens we don't need a fucking screen. What you need to do is just shut your lights out and I'm going to have a fucking play and it's going to go on in your house.

Just don't move because you've ruined the illusion. You're going to see it all take place right in front of you. Turn to the left. Turn to the right.

It's all around you all the time. They'll start off It's going to go right back to theater. They'll start it off and it'll be almost just like a projector

on one wall and eventually it'll be immersed reality. Shakespeare returns. Well, you know, I really like what you were saying about hijacking, what did you say? Hijacking your reward systems for love and for honor and for lust and passion and all these different things that are set up to make sure that you're successful. So there's like this, I'm sure you've seen it because it's fucking awesome, ferrofluid. Have you ever seen ferrofluid?

No, what is that? Ferrofluid, if you look it up, it's so cool looking. It's this kind of magnetic fluid where if you play certain sound frequencies, the Ferrofluid forms into these awesome shapes and patterns. And there's a way you can do it by putting, I don't know what the material is, but if you put stuff on a speaker and you have it set up just right and play certain tones, the material will take on geometric formations automatically. And I don't know the physics behind this, but I think that with your mind, what your mind does is there's certain patterns that the electronic neurological interface of your mind temporarily takes according to external stimuli.

So, for example, if you see something move from behind you really fast, what do you do? You automatically turn around. You just look. You don't think about that. You don't think, you know what, I should look. You just look. Because that stimulus is activating something in your brain and creating an automatic pattern. Like if you've ever dropped a cup or dropped something, I don't know if you've done that, and you just snatch it. You didn't think about it. You're like, fuck, I'm like Spider-Man. How did I do that? I didn't think about that at all. That's a pattern, an electronic pattern that your brain took. So in the same way, these movies and songs, when you hear them, they're literally causing the temporary neurological

state of your mind to take these forms, to take on these forms. And that's very addictive, I think, because there's certain of those forms that you that are more enjoyable than others for example like the form your brain takes when you're around a beautiful woman like you know what i mean you're everything shifts in your mind suddenly everything changes the the whatever it is whatever environment you're in you could be shitting you could be sitting on a giant turd and a beautiful woman walks in and all of a sudden things aren't quite so bad it's like that's because your mind is the pattern of your mind is transformed and it's like that's what these that's what movies are doing and that's what uh you know i think people have gotten really good at understanding how that primate

neurological geometry works and they really get it activating it in certain ways you know via fox news you know like you turn on fox news and it's like everything's trying to kill you yeah um well for sure that's one of the reasons why fox news is a huge problem is because you know propaganda even though it's funny like fox news propaganda always makes me go well you have to be an idiot to believe that but there's a lot of idiots out there you know and you know even though i mean look propaganda the real problem with it is if you're not telling the truth and you're in control of the media that's a giant responsibility sure you've you've done some horrible horrible disservice to mankind because you're broadcasting

confusion you're fucking things up even little fuck-ups they do. We've talked about this before where whenever a politician gets busted for a sex crime, anything crazy sexual, hookers, whatever, there's always a D next to his name. It doesn't matter if he's a Republican or not. On Fox, they put D right next to his name. And then if you ask them,

oh, it was just a slip-up, something like that, we just assumed it was a Democrat. Yeah, it's a joke. They make a joke out of it. They make a joke out of it. But meanwhile, what they're doing is they're causing a lot of people who may be on the fence to go one way or another to whatever, whether or not it matters. Well, no. I mean, it matters because the real thing that Fox is doing, I mean, it's not like – I don't think think i think part of fox is to disseminate conservative

conservative ideals but really it's like you want to understand fox don't watch the reporters watch the commercials in between and that'll teach you everything about fox news because it's like they're selling geriatric diapers if you've seen that the one fucking commercial that's like uh shows like some happy old lady driving around a moped in her living room, and they're like, you could have one of these for free. Medicare covers this. That's not young people listening to Fox. It's just old, trembling geriatrics in their living rooms on their mopeds, two fucking steps away from death.

And they want Bill O'Reilly to give them the real deal and keep them safe. He's telling the truth. He's funny. Didn't Mitzi love Bill O'Reilly? Oh, poor Mitzi. Yeah, she would fucking watch. She would watch that. the real deal and keep them safe he's telling the truth he's fine he's a good love bill o'reilly oh poor mitzi yeah she would she would fucking watch she would watch that no and if he we all tried to get her to stop because it wasn't helping her mental state but it's like dude i watch the terrorists oh they're gonna get us all i used to watch i watch that i still watch uh fucking glenn beck ironically but if you it's interesting to watch every now and then because sometimes I agree with him 30%.

I know. I know. Sometimes he makes good points and then he wraps them up in nonsense. Then you know, oh, then you go, this guy's just an actor. Yes.

He's like putting on an act. Like what he's doing, he's developed this conservative act. He used to be on a morning zoo. You know what I mean? And I think maybe he believes some of the stuff that he says, but there's a lot of what

he's doing that's theatrics. Oh, yeah. All that Sarah Palin shit, man. He's a nut. Dude. When he had Sarah Palin and he was interviewing her saying she might be the only hope for this country, I was like, what did you just do? It's almost like he decided he was going to make it so ridiculous.

Let's see if we can pull this off. They probably had an argument. Don't say that, man. If you say that she's the only hope for this country, everybody's going to know you're fucking with her. Yeah. I think I can do it. I think I'm sincere enough. Ugh.

He is a goddamn. That guy snaps necks. I don't know who's or when, but late at night, that guy snaps humans. Ugh. He's so strange. He works all the time, too. He doesn't just do his TV show, which he does that. He also writes a book every two months, and he also goes on tour, and he does live performances.

And he was doing comedy for a while. He was doing the Glenn Beck live comedy performance thing, where he would talk about his crazy government. And he would do a live stand-up thing, but that didn't go so well. So now he just gives live these kind of like live speeches. So the motherfucker is just like raking in money. He's obsessed. Yeah, he's making bank. But have you seen the – I don't know when this was – it was recently released.

It was from his podcast, and he's got some kind of sickness. And I don't know what the sickness is, but he's – It's called crazy, broken heart. It is crazy. But – Clint Black has broken heart. He's telling his flock about this sickness. It would be so sweet if Glenn Beck got busted getting his dick sucked.

Of course it's going to happen. You know what, though? He's not a perfect guy. He admits that he had done drugs and drank and stuff. Didn't he have a problem with booze or something like that? Well, that's the thing that televangelists always say when they get caught with getting their dick sucked. televangelists always say when they get caught with it with getting their dick sucked but like that that black televangelist when they were asking did you did you or did did you whatever and he's like what was he said what did he say he said um he's like none of us are perfect that

means yes yeah that means you well there's a lot of evidence apparently he's fucked eddie long that guy yeah the evidence is that anytime anybody goes... There's a bunch of people saying it, too. It's not just one person. Eddie Long's name is the fucking evidence. It's hilarious. Yeah, exactly. His name. That sounds like a pimp from Oakland. It doesn't sound like a fucking minister.

But he did weird shit like lick their face and stuff. Oh, Jesus Christ. He's like in a hotel room with some young kid who thinks he's a messenger of God. And he's like, let me lick your face, John. Oh, my God. I just like licking your lips. Moses used to lick the lips of his sheep.

It's a Christian thing to lick the lips of someone who loves you. Brian, you're ruining the whole erotic atmosphere. Erotic atmosphere. It's just strange moaning. It is like that. That is what it's like. Parliament starts playing. He puts his Bible down, unzips his pants.

That is like the biggest travesty. Yeah. The biggest crime against humanity. The idea that you can take children and pretend that you're religious and fuck them. Yeah. That's definitely getting

I mean, that might be one. Besides murder and rape and all the other horrible things that people do, that's one that's really underlooked. You really ruined a life. How the fuck are you going to get over the fact that big fat sweaty guy who smells like dracar just fucked you in the ass he smells like dracar and barbecue sauce and he just fucked you not only that but don't forget that this man is a representative of jesus who in

your mind is the greatest person on the planet so the it's it's like it's like someone's assistant molesting you and you're like oh god they must, they must be bad, too. He smells like jerry-curled juice. Communion wafers falling out of his pocket. He could smell the Viagra on his breath. He just been chomping Viagra in between ceremonies. Red table wine. It's just all about fucking people's kids. God damn.

What a crazy thing. It's amazing that one priest could get allowed you know like one priest comes out and does that and you know and people should be like well that's just one guy he's just fucked up and you know it's understandable this guy's just you know we didn't see it coming it's crazy but if you got like hundreds of thousands of cases like all over the world yeah like at what point in time does everybody step in and start like thoroughly investigating churches, like having like security there at all times,

having cops there at all times, looking for inappropriate shit. Like this is a scene of a crime. How many crimes have been committed here? Who knows? We've got a hundred kids saying that someone made them suck their dick. Just to put it in context.

You know? That's a crime scene, goddammit. Let's imagine that Kmart, for example. No, let's say walmart let's say walmart all of a sudden word got out that all these walmarts all across the country the manager was fucking little kids yeah it would be what one week before the government descended on all the walmarts what is this well it turns out ladies and gentlemen what we had here was a pedophile ring disguised as a business. There was actually a typo in the training manual that seemed to indicate it.

But whatever it is, you would investigate that, but because the Catholic Church is so powerful, no one's fucking with it. No one's fucking with it. And that's kind of the problem in the goddamn primate hive is we are not good at dealing with obvious truths we're not good at addressing things and it just we don't want to correct yeah we want we don't want to re-establish a new viewpoint that's that's one thing we don't want to do once we have opinions on things very difficult to get someone to really just abandon that opinion and then recognize the opinion as wrong and then move on very hard for us to do and that's one of one of the opinion as wrong, and then move on. It's very hard for us to do. And that's one of the reasons, as primates, we get stuck in certain types of behavior, because it's comforting.

Instead of just being alone on your own, not knowing whether or not you're doing the right thing or the wrong thing in life, you're just really working around on guesswork. Instead, you have a confidence in, well, I've always done it this way, and this is how I am, and this is right, and fuck the terrorists. We've got to fight them over there so we don't fight them over here yeah you know and you know you you have these things and you don't want to let those things go because you've argued for those things forever right like have you ever seen the the um documentary on the sphinx where um dr robert shock he's from the boston um university boston university i think or university of uh

one of the mass either university of massachusetts No, no, no. It's Boston. I think it's Boston. Maybe Boston College. Anyway, very well-respected geologist. Goes to Egypt. Looks at the Sphinx, okay? And notices that there's all this erosion on the Sphinx and on the Sphinx enclosure

that can only be attributed to rainfall for thousands of years. Well, the only problem is, the last time they had rainfall in the Nile Valley, it was 7,000 B.C. So it's like, you know, that's like 9,000 years ago. So that predates where they thought the construction

of the pyramids sat in by somewhere around 5,000 years. That's like impossible. I mean, that's like as far away from us as 5,000 years ago. Think about 5,000 years for us. That's ancient Egypt. So it's as far away from them as ancient Egypt is to us.

So he's saying we have a situation where it's at least that old. And it might be far older than that because this is thousands of years of rain. This has been cut out and thousands of years of rain has caused it to do this. So it had to be older even still. So there's a bunch of people that are theorizing

10,500 BC. There's people that want to go 34,000 BC because you add up all the dates of the pharaohs. So these guys, John Anthony West, who's an Egyptologist, who's been studying all this shit his whole life, and he's one of the ones that's convinced that the ancient Egyptian history is a rich, long history, not of 5,000 years, not of 2,500 BC, but 34,000 years. He says it goes back far. You just have to recognize it and understand it and appreciate it. And you can show the different construction methods. They've got very clear evidence. They're building things very differently here. And this is below what was on top of it. So we're talking about something that was buried in sand. So they built on top of something that was far older than what's right here.

And so he has all this shit explained out, and then he shows, the geologist shows all these fissures in the water, and they explain that this, or in the walls, that's only caused by water, and they explain to all these conventional Egyptologists, like this has got to be,

we have to reconsider the age of this. Maybe it's just a bunch of bird pee. So when the Egyptologists look at him, the Egyptologist goes, well, what's the age of this. Maybe it's just a bunch of bird pee. So when the Egyptologists look at them, the Egyptologists go, well, what's the evidence of this culture? You're asking us to consider a culture from 10,500 BC. Where's the evidence of this culture? What the fuck are you talking about? What is this?

What is this? They don't want to admit that they've been teaching for 100 years some shit that's incorrect. They want to attribute it to kufu and all these different guys that they can know well this guy existed at this point in time it's documented and you know tut moses the third this is the guy we attribute after this he was around at this point in time they don't want to admit the possibility that shit goes back thousands and thousands of years earlier and they deny him he shows all this geology he's got over a hundred geologists from

all over the country that have signed off on this that they have looked at the erosion and say this is very clearly water erosion of thousands of years yeah and they don't care they don't give a fuck they don't even want to talk about it yeah egyptologists don't even want to consider it well yeah that when a lot of them is it's because it would embarrass them yeah it would exactly it's like they're in charge of information they're in charge of disseminating information. You have the clearest information you could ever have is geology. It's fucking rocks, man. It's like, what is this?

That is slate. That's provable. What is this? That's granite. Yeah. It's fucking, it's rocks. Okay, you got rocks with deep fissures. It looks like water.

It's smooth. It goes down just like water would do. It's not like sand erosion. He shows, this Dr. Ron Schock shows the difference between sand erosion and water erosion. It's interesting, isn't it? It's a very clear difference. What you were talking about, how bizarre it is that priests or pedophiles have embedded themselves into the priesthood and are doing the exact opposite of what you would think a priesthood should do.

Right, they're always protecting the priests. So then you look at egyptology and it's curious oh look there's the exact same structure and egyptology instead of somebody being a true historian being like wow good work holy shit this is going to transform everything this is amazing right they're like you know what that's a lot of ink to rewrite all this history yes let's not waste our time look why don't you go investigate that arrowhead over there? This is the dumbest thing the guy said. Where's the evidence of this culture?

How much evidence do you think would be there after 10,000 fucking years? Nothing, man. It would all be eaten up. Especially houses, like American houses, like a regular house with drywall and shit and roof tile. That shit's gone. The earth is going to swallow that up. It's fucking hard man because if you think about it just to empathize with that asshole egyptologist if you

think about it i can think of specific times i've gotten in a fight with someone and known in my head that i am wrong in the midst of the fight i just know i'm wrong and i just keep pushing on pushing on through even though i know i'm wrong. And I just keep pushing on, pushing on through, even though I know I'm wrong, clearly in my head. And that's just some dumb little fight. Imagine an Egyptologist who's staked his entire career on the fucking thing.

And to academics, saying you're wrong about something, being wrong, being proven wrong about something, that's devastating. Because that just shows that you didn't consider everything, and you have a flaw in your thinking. You had dated this, and you wrong about something. That's devastating. Because that just shows that you didn't consider everything and you have a flaw in your thinking. You had dated this and you were clearly incorrect. So the hieroglyphs that you read that you attributed to all these

various guys saying this is when we built this. Like the Sphinx itself. Like one of the guys I think it's Tutmosis III. Whoever's accredited with the... No, that's not him. Who the fuck is accredited with the building of the Sphinx? It's not Khufu, right? Khufu is the guy who... I thought it was a cat.

He was accredited with the Great Pyramid. Anyway, whoever it was, the hieroglyph, the way it said, the way it was said, you know, the reason why they attributed it to him is because he said that he was told in a dream that if he uncovered the Sphinx that he would

get to be Pharaoharaoh but the problem is it's the word is uncover like if it's uncover if that's the real translation then you're saying that it was there already right i don't know how how clear it is to translate hieroglyphs though you know i'm saying like if you're reading something in hieroglyphic how much of that is open to interpretation because it's such an alien language. I mean, it's so different than English. To put it into English words and to put it in the context that we're going to recognize

as having a certain intent, I mean, God, it's so hard. Man, I just saw this thing called... I'm sorry. The point is that all it says is that he was there when the Sphinx was built. That's all you know for sure. Just because it's written somewhere, I rocked the Sphinx was built. That's all you know for sure. Just because it's written somewhere,

I rocked the Sphinx and I built LA. I built this shit. And then scientists a thousand years from now, oh, Joe Rogan built LA. It's written right here. That doesn't mean anything, man. It's a fucking giant structure. Yeah, you say you built it.

Where's the drawings, man? You don't even have any fucking directions. There's pictures of you assholes with plates on your heads with fruit, and there's no pictures of you building the fucking pyramids. None. Not a single hieroglyph represents the construction of the pyramid. Sure. You think, why would you write that down?

What's really important is, how do you make bread? Oh, it's fucking crazy, yo. We've got fire, and we've got to fuck with some flour. Yeah. They have all these different things that they have written down about their life and their culture and war and space. Yeah, like somebody sketching a pyramid on the wall. And they're like, boring.

Why are you sketching that thing? We just built it. Forget about it. Let's talk about. 2,300,000 stones connected so perfectly in the king's chamber and all these stones inside. You can't get a razor blade in between them, man. Well, I mean, yeah. So I think that.

Why would you write down how you made that? Yeah. who cares it's just fucking boring it's just rocks and stones because it's probably like it's a simple way we just haven't thought of yet let's draw you know it's probably something so basic and you're like oh duh they wouldn't want to draw that duh but i think no there's no way it might be no way it was just no there's no way just the numbers the numbers of stones just wasn't found. No, there's no way. Just the numbers. The numbers of stones. They don't know whether or not the stones were cut or whether or not they were poured. There's a separate argument that they were made out of limestone. And it's fairly convincing.

And it's another one that's going to fuck with Egyptologists for sure. Because the theory is that they made those stones with, like, they made a concrete out of limestone. And they mixed it and then, like, set them in place. So it wasn't that they moved those stones with, like, they made a concrete out of limestone, and they mixed it, and then, like, set them in place. So it wasn't that they moved all these stones. It's that they made concrete and made these blocks, like, in place. Well, I think that... But that doesn't make any sense either, right?

Because even if you make concrete blocks, then you've got to pick them up and move them. I mean, I don't know. Your mind gets more detailed than mine does in these things. These things, like, you try to, like, figure it out. I don't know your mind gets more detailed than mine does in these things these things like you try to like figure it out i i i'm i don't know man i just look at i'm i think that maybe i have lazy thinking in the sense that i will just let myself believe that like a a alien crane it's just too much work right yeah i don't need it i don't go into the number of stones and stuff but but i do think whatever it is and the way it was built is for whether it's the most mundane

it's just a shitload of people figured out how to do it or whether the thing just teleported in from some uh sumerian dimension or whatever i still think it's it's like awe-inspiring that that things like that exist and i think that there is the tendency in science to try to minimize things for some reason and remove that feeling of like, holy shit, what is that? By the time Egyptologists get done with everything, it's just like a snore fest out there. You've got this ancient, insane pyramid that appears to somehow, and I think I've heard you say this, somehow at some time of the year. Lines to the summer solstice.

Yeah. There's shafts inside that point to certain constellations. There's a bunch of design where when the sun is rising at a certain time of the year, it goes in the temple in man. It goes up the chakras. It's incredible shit. There's so much of what they did, and even the Mayans. The Mayans had some visual effect on the side of one of their pyramids

that as the sun would rise, it would look like a snake was moving up the side of their pyramid. They worshipped Quetzalcoatl, which is the feathered, plumed serpent, a flying snake. Yeah, I've seen the video of the snake shadow. It's intense. It's pretty dope. But you think about these ancient, ancient civilizations. I mean, how much room for error do you have when you're moving 2,000 fucking pound stones and you're doing it and you're barefoot with fucking a goofy thong on.

Can you imagine? And you're pushing these giant stones. Maybe it was just an extinct animal that used to love to build pyramids. That's a good idea, Brian. Just like an irritating pyramid dinosaur. Oh, look, there it goes. He just shits them out. So I'm making them.

He shits pyramids. Maybe that's his beehive. Why does he like to eat clay so much? It's like an ant makes a really complicated anthill. There's only one of them that existed, then he died and he turned into a pyramid so it looks complicated pyramids and sphinxes it looks complicated but it's just nature manifesting itself through his dung well you know we we don't know i mean i think they're i'm like you know when you what i was thinking is if you could paint if like you you were some primitive

person and you knew that whatever you painted on a wall was going to get super scrutinized by anthropologists who are going to look at the thing and be like oh this means that they worship the cow god well maybe you're going to draw a cow right well i mean it makes sense that they would draw cows i mean that's what they needed to stay alive you know i mean it was very important to them you know when people talk about why did you know why I mean, it was very important to them. You know, when people talk about why did animals worship cattle, well, there's two reasons for sure. But the Indian reason doesn't make sense.

There's two reasons. One, like a lot of ancient cultures, they were embedded in cattle worship. They were like, what is it called? Chaktal Hiyuk?

Do you know how to say that one? No, I just read about it. I think that's how you say it. I know what you're saying. Yeah, that's the one that McKenna talked about. And he shows all these images

from all the different shit that they had that was in honor of the cow. They had horns and they worshipped cows. And then the idea is that the reason why people worship cows, his idea is that there was mushrooms that was growing off cow shit and they were eating them. And they were having these psychedelic experiences, which makes sense, except they also needed them to stay alive. You have to look at the fact that the first time that they invented culture, the first time that they invented civilization, they had to figure out a way to stay put.

That's what they had to do. They had to figure out a way to corral the animals. Once they corral the animals, they're like, oh, we got them. They worship them. They put the horns up like, oh, this is what keeps us sustained. This is what allows us to stay here. This is what keeps us alive. They have a big supply of these animals, and they put the horns up like, oh, this is what keeps us sustained. This is what allows us to stay here. This is what keeps us alive. You know, they have a big supply of these animals and they keep slaughtering them.

I mean, if you're a family of four and you have a full farm just for yourself, I mean, think about that, man. You've got a full farm with, you know, 30 cows and you've got all these chickens. You shoot a cow and you get a side of beef. That's a lot of fucking food. That shit will last you a long ass time.

Yeah. And you've got all this corn that you're growing and all these vegetables that you're growing you don't need anything else you know you could you could do it all there you're you're totally self-sustaining yeah and it's yeah it's safer you're if you have to go out hunting all the time you're gonna get attacked by lions and shit it's yeah but i don't think it's all about the mushroom i don't think i mean it's yeah it's more i I mean, in India, I've read, they consider cow dung to be antiseptic. Yeah, the Indian thing I was saying that didn't make sense

is that the Indians didn't even eat them. So if they don't eat them, if they worship them as gods, then what happened there? Because I understand the idea that the cattle keep you alive, and that's why you worship them, but you eat them. You know, Chaktal Hiyok, I think those guys, I think they were, like, at the time where everybody ate animals. Yeah.

You know? There was no, like, sacred animals where you couldn't eat it. Like, you got to eat everything that was there. You know, you don't have that much fucking choice. Right. In India, people are starving, but they won't go after the cows. Well, yeah. Yeah. There are. I mean, they do kill some cows in India, people are starving, but they won't go after the cows. Well, yeah. I mean, they do kill some cows in India.

Some people don't fly that way anymore. Right. But in the Hindu religion, right, aren't cows sacred? Oh, yeah. When I was in India, you would go down the street and just pass a cow, and you could pet it. Cows are like dogs. They are sweet. You rub them and they like it and they'll lick your hand.

They're just really sweet animals. That's the thing. We're like, oh, those people in China eating those dogs. How could they do that? Pass the steak, honey. You're eating a gentle, very

sweet creature. I'm not saying it doesn't taste good. You're eating a gentle, very sweet creature. I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't taste good. I'm not a vegetarian. I eat them. But you have to recognize when you're eating that thing, it is a very, very sweet animal. Cows are like really gentle, sweet, not entirely dumb animals. Especially if you like, I mean, when you see a cow in the wild or a cow at a slaughterhouse or a cow that's being harvested now, you're seeing something

that was being treated in the most horrific way. You know, it's not in its natural habitat and I'm not glorifying the way cows or any animals are treated in India, but I think that any animal that you show love to is going to become sweet

and domesticated and seem kind of smart. You do understand that Joe wants to kill tigers. Yeah, we should kill tigers. Yeah, you should kill everything that kills you. That's why I'm not down for bulls roaming the streets either. Yeah. You know? Well, I mean, yeah, it's like, that's an interesting point.

So that's an interesting point. And just on an off note, what is more satisfying than watching a lion tamer get chomped by a lion? The Russian video? Any video. When you see somebody you've got in a lion cage getting mauled by a lion, it's like the one time you can watch violence without having to feel too bad. Because this is a person who is enslaved, an animal that's not meant to be enslaved, put in a cage, prodding it, poking it, and getting the inevitable result. But it's disturbing, dude. Have you seen the one, not the one that just happened where the guy, where they did the, I don't know what you call it,

did some worldwide wrestling move on him? They both grabbed him and stretched his arms out for a second. They're about to rip his arms off. Yeah, no, I did see that. Yeah, it looked like they were going to tear his arms off, but the hose kept him off. God, so close to being the greatest video of all time. I thought it was totally going to be death. I thought it was going to be arms come off,

death. Yeah, it was about to be like death. It was amazing that he was still okay. He was like walking around. He got fucked up. I'm sure. There was blood everywhere. There was blood all over. Right? Wasn't that blood? That was jacket. That's blood. But there's a lion attack video on your website. by the way man why do people on your website keep posting these death videos what the fuck dude you get like every there's so many like death videos and

like i have a problem not watching them and then and it gets stuck in my head but there was a it's just they're on the internet if they're on the it's interesting, it's going to be on my website. I know. I know. It's not a choice you have to make. Do I need to see this? Well, I'm going to. Well, maybe it's not that bad.

Oh, my God. Yeah, it's a terrible feeling. I stopped that. No more death videos. Smart. There's a video on your website. I think it's Russia. And it's a lion finishing the job and it's like jesus it's like you know

first the guy's got his arm in the cage and he's in the lion's kind of like holding on to his arm a little bit and it almost looks it's kind of having fun the lion's just having a little bit of fun the guy's got the guy's in the cage with one arm out there's somebody there kind of holding on to him the lion's like you know how cats play with their food it's just kind of like chilling out looking at the guy and the guy's like there and for a second it looks like, you might get out of this. And then the lion, for whatever reason, just pulls him into the cage and chomps down, I think on his neck, you can't really tell because the lion's on top of him, and you just see that thing that happens. You know, if you've ever been bitten by a dog or a cat, when it just bites in,

and it's in for the real bite it's doing that it's just biting deep and all of a sudden the guy's body does this convulsive thing which is kind of the last like little like adrenaline pump before he dies and it's just this awful seizure and then some guy in like a military helmet or a military hat or i don't know a police officer comes and shoots the fucking lion which is the saddest part of that video and the lion bellows out as it's being shot like what the fuck what do you expect what did you think was gonna happen what it was it's authentic surprise like oh and that's the end of the line The lion was doing everything it was supposed to do. The lion was passing the lion test.

When the fucking monkey comes and starts poking you or washing your cage, you eat it. That's how it works. That's how it's worked from the beginning of time. Yeah, how long do you think you can trick that thing? And to trick them, you have to be on them all day, every day. Those guys who handle big cats, those motherfuckers get very intimate with those cats. Because you have to. You can't, like like take a couple months off and go to sweden i came back from the alps to tell you what to eat and the tiger's like why the fuck was i listening to you again bitch get over here just crack you in the head wait a minute you know what the fuck wait a

minute and here's my dumb hippie point that effect of the lion handler manipulating this powerful lion that is exactly what oppressive governments do to the people and it's the exact same thing where you have the clear powers the power of the people they're more powerful than uh lee baka who's like i don't care what they say about marijuana i'm gonna keep arresting people do they arrest me for arresting people you know is that what he said no i made that up but he said it would have been an awesome quote that guy would have been the shit yeah he could have got on bill o'reilly tomorrow yeah he would have been he would have been an anchor on fox news the next day but the point is like the the the people are the lion and you event and that's the that's the horror of the government is when the lion

starts waking up and the people start realizing, wait a minute. You can't tell me I can't fucking eat mushrooms. You can't tell me I can't smoke pot. You can't take 60% of my money away from me anymore. I don't understand why we're in Afghanistan. And instead of being like, well, that's weird. And what time is it? I have time to grab a coffee.

You start fucking organizing and doing what you can to fight against it, which I never do, so I should shut up. I know what you're saying. It's an idealistic point of view, and the only reason why it's idealistic is because no one's pulled it off yet, but it doesn't mean it's not possible. Right. Look what they're doing in Paris.

Have you seen what they're doing in Paris? Yeah. That shit's not getting a lot of airplay, is it? So what's happening? Tell us. In Paris, I believe it's in Paris, they're like increasing the age that you can get your pension uh from 61 to 63 so i guess it's equivalent to

being a 61 like for all your life you've been working or whatever and all of a sudden you're about to have the big vacation before you can't take it you have to work two more years and not everyone's that that but i think there's other things involved they have like serious financial problems don't they well yeah well they you know a. Well, they have serious financial problems, don't they? Well, yeah. A lot of people are saying the financial problems they're experiencing, we're about to get a little taste of that, too. But what you're seeing over there is not being carried in the mainstream press that much because it's a mild little revolution that's happening over there. They cut off the fucking oil supplies. They're cutting oil supplies really to the city yeah um and i don't know who's cutting

off oil the activists they're fucking blockading like the oil refineries there's like a ship full of oil apparently floating out there and can't come in whoa yeah their gas is running out over there from these activists because they're succeeding. They're like, that's, but the problem, it's like, that's the level of reaction you have to have to oppression. So the activists are cutting off the oil. And the reason why they're cutting off the oil to the city is to starve the city out so the city has to listen to them? Well, somebody call in and explain this because like, this is like something. Call in, we don't have a phone. I know, I'm just kidding.

Get me off the fucking hook here. But they are, I know they're blockading the fucking oil. It's not getting that much play in the news. I haven't heard anything about this. No, not a lot of people. Well, let's go to CNN.com. Check it out. Okay, you would have to think that's breaking news, right?

Yeah. That's breaking news. Dems look to energize women and unions. Yeah. Lindsay Lohan back for second rehab. Stock chart, worst day in two months. Two bullshit stories. That's their big story.

Do you talk to your relatives when you die? Two things that make no sense. The stock market, which is fake as fuck and no one understands. You can't even pretend you understand. Yeah. After that Bernie Madoff shit, that guy was, even stockbrokers got fucked by that guy. Right. No one knows what the fuck that guy was doing.

How, is that possible? Then you have a bullshit system. Right. Your system is nonsense. Even the people that were experts didn't understand what the fuck that guy was doing how is that possible then you have a bullshit system right your system is nonsense even the people that were experts didn't understand what the fuck was happening yeah nobody saw this fucking gigantic collapse coming nobody was vocal about it please shut the fuck up and then dems look to energize women in unions what does that even mean how is that a story it's a number one story brother look at that that's the big one that's the picture and it's some haggard old chick who hasn't seen a dick in over a decade and she's talking about running shit you talking about running shit not one that was still connected to a body talking about running shit you ain't running nothing mom shut the fuck up all right i'm tired of these crazy old bitches that want

to run shit yeah it's scary no meg whitman no christine o'donnell no christ Christine O'Donnell? No, Christine O'Donnell. Just because your vagina doesn't work anymore doesn't mean you get to be a man. You don't get to run shit, okay? How dare you? Yeah, you heard me. I'm a man, Joe. Yeah, you are a man. I'm not talking to you.

I was looking at you, but I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to these crazy broads that want to run shit, man. Stop it. No. The fucking, the, the, the, what's her name? Um, the fucking, what's her name um fucking what's her name so if ellen didn't wanted to become president you would be against ellen becoming president um you know what i would vote against her just based on my talkings with greg fitzsimmons what does he say about ellen you

have to talk to greg fitzsimmons i don't know if he goes public with that shit i'd vote for you know what i would fucking vote for ellen just for the absurdity. I would. It's an art experiment. I would hope we would all dance like on National Flag Day or something. The Meg Whitman lady thinks that marijuana is a gateway drug and that it should not be legal. Because if it is, more will get to our children. Well, we've got to protect our children. I'm so tired of people being able to say things like gateway drug with no consequences. That is a lie. That is nonsense.

That has been disproven by science. Alcohol is far more of a gateway drug to bad decisions than marijuana is. Marijuana, in fact, keeps a lot of people from ever trying dangerous drugs because they get fucking paranoid. They think about it because of marijuana and they get paranoid. If you're going to start doing coke and ecstasy, you're going to do it anyway, man. It's out there.

If you want it, it's there. It's not hard to find pot. It's out there. It's not going to change the ability of kids to get pot. They can get pot everywhere. I mean, just drive down the street from my house, there is five fucking medical marijuana stores. Five of them in a row in like two blocks. There's pots everywhere.

You're telling me that pot doesn't have a GPS chip on it so it so the 21 year old dude who bought it can't sell it at twice the price to some 17 year old kid no you know it's fucking anybody can get it it's everywhere pots just out there man right it's out there so you can't fucking tell me that it's there that there would be some sort of a a bad thing bad thing that would come with making it legal. Making people who are responsible human beings who want to do something to make themselves feel... You're treating them like criminals. And you're saying that that being a criminal is okay. But it's okay for them to be a criminal

because they want to relax and have a plant that makes you feel soothing and it makes sex better and it makes food better. No, you want them to be a criminal. That's just dumb cunt talk. Let's look at the gateway drug idea. And if you think about it, in a culture where all drugs are lumped together,

all illegal drugs are lumped together into one category, some teenager smokes pot for the first time. It's like, this is fucking awesome. Holy shit, drugs are great. It's like, no, actually, drugs aren't great. Certain drugs are great. Certain drugs are fucking awful. Cocaine is a, I personally hate it. I have friends who are fans of it, but they're annoying to be, someone on cocaine is really annoying to be around. It's too expensive. I fucking hate it. And of course, the freebase form of it is awful. Meth, awful.

Heroin, awful. These are terrible drugs. Why are you lumping them together in with a drug that only seems to have mostly positive effects on your life outside of if you smoke it way, way, way too much and you get a foggy mind? And I don't know. Maybe you eat too much. Well, I think you also have to take into consideration that everyone has a different biological makeup. There's some people that get addicted to alcohol really quickly. There's some people that are allergic to wheat.

Some people, marijuana is not the best thing for them. But you know what? This is the thing though, man. There was a girl I dated that she smoked weed once and she took one hit. And within two minutes, she stood up, ran full speed into the bathroom, hit the bathtub, and hit her head on the wall. And she just laid in the bathtub for like three minutes. And I was like, what the fuck? Are you okay?

And she said that she just got this instant thing that she had to stand up and run. And she didn't even know where she was. She just started running. And that was from one hit from weed. How dumb was she? No, she's fucking intelligent. You think that's bad? One hit? One hit. How good was the weed? Ohio brick weed fucking intelligent. Really? You think that's bad? One hit?

One hit. How good was the weed? Ohio brick weed bong. Really? Yes. Wow. Well, try giving a skateboard to a nine-year-old. If you want to talk about a dangerous...

You give a kid a skateboard, they'll go... You sound like a propagandist. They'll go slamming the fuck up. Yeah, I'd love to see you in Congress. I'm running for office, Joe. Mr. Trussell, how do you explain all of these children that smoke marijuana and ran into the bathtub and hit their heads? Hey, man, it's like, you know, you can give a nine-year-old kid a skateboard, man.

Uh-huh. Duly noted, Mr. Trussell. Please. Please sit down, you idiot. Take your seat. They'd be like, listen to this guy. You'd be a huge fuck-up for the cause. You'd be like, listen to this guy. You'd be a huge fuck up for the cause. You'd be like, when they made the movie of the story,

you'd be the fucking, the guy that Steve Buscemi would play, and he would get up, and he would be super stoned, and forget what he was saying, and he would say, hey man, just like, you can't give a nine-year-old a fucking skateboard. Well, the whole thing, I mean, the whole thing about keeping weed away from kids.

You should. I think you should keep all things that change kids' psychological state. They're the state of mind. I think it's all tricky. It's very dangerous. I think it's up in the air. It should be done. If you have a father, I think you should be introduced to alcohol by your father.

You're right. Can I just say something just to go back a little bit? I'm not saying we should give pot to kids. I know you're not. Just blow it in their face. No, we should make them buy it. You shouldn't give it away for free. They get the wrong idea.

I think for a lot of kids, a lot of kids are going through a lot of weird shit when they're growing up. I mean, everybody is. Just the reality of becoming a teenager and then growing into man into manhood or womanhood it's a fucking freaky feeling like oh my god i'm gonna have to take care of myself someday and make my own money and yeah fucking feed myself and this is just too crazy i don't want to leave my mom's house and this fucking school's driving me nuts and how much am i gonna have to work once i got a job if i'm working this hard when i'm in school you know all that shit could be overwhelming to kids you know to especially young kids like 14 15 if you start throwing pot in school. All that shit can be overwhelming to kids. Especially young kids, like

14, 15. If you start throwing pot in the mix, too, that might send them off into the woods. That might careen them off track and really fuck with their head. But what if you were six years old watching Sesame Street and you had this magic guy come and go, hey, would you like to look at this stoned as a six-year-old?

No, man. Listen, when you're six years old, your brain is still developing. I don't think it's a good move to introduce drugs into developing minds. First of all, I want to talk about this magic guy. This guy. He invented a time machine. I'm more interested in the magic guy than the pot. Hi, Duncan.

That's what I would be doing if I had a time machine. I'd be going back in time giving myself weed when I was watching Sesame Street. You would be so paranoid I had a time machine. I'd be going back in time, giving myself weed. Would you? When I was watching Sesame Street. You would be so paranoid. You would be so paranoid. Just eat it. If you had to go back in time into your life and do anything differently, what would you do differently? Probably that.

I'd give myself snow. I don't know. Is there any one instance from your childhood that you would redo, you would take back? Probably throwing rocks at that cardinal threw rocks at a bird yeah you hit it yeah yeah little baby at a baby cardinal that was like retarded or something like that but i was like six or seven you know i think i've talked about this before yeah what about you ducking same i yeah once when i when I was a kid, I went and my grandparents loved birds. And I had a BB gun, and my grandparents were out of town.

And I drove their golf cart, because they drove around in a golf cart. I'm on a hunting safari into the backyard and just shot a robin. Just killed a robin. And it fell, and it spiraled down. And all the other birds i'm like there's bird feeders all over my grandmother's yard and a stat you know statue of saints and these birds are like dive bombing me they were freaking out because i killed one of them and they're freaking out and just swirling around and it was like i was mortified uh and that's

definitely something that i would go back fish fish bombing too where you used to take m80s and put it in fish's mouth, like live fish, and it would light them and then throw them off the roof of the school at people. Oh, my God. You guys are sick fucks. Where'd you get these fish? There's a pond at our elementary school that— You would catch them going fishing?

Yeah, we'd catch them, and then we'd put them in a bucket. Oh, my God. You guys are a mess. Fish bombing. Fish bombing. Yeah. Dude, that's such a fucking terrible way to die. Can you imagine you're a fish,

all of a sudden you're yanked out of your world, into an alien world, staring at these things. These things are laughing. They throw you in a bucket. You're flopping around in a fucking bucket. You're swimming around in circles. You can't get out. He takes you out of that bucket, shoves this big, giant dick in your mouth. This explosive

dick, lights it on fire, and you fly through the air and explode. Yeah. You know, this explosive dick lights it on fire and then you fly through the air and explode. That's how you leave this world. We'd also do squirrel baseball where like the squirrels would go up and... Okay, you need to stop

because we're going to start thinking you're a fucking serial killer. Yeah. Then we would do kitten crucifixion and we would act out the last scene in the Bible with kittens.

Have you ever strangled a frog what it's really easy just put them in your throat and just strangle it and look at their face you've killed a frog no I've never killed a frog

just kidding it's disturbing I love frogs that's one thing I used to love I used to collect frogs in our window well you guys know what window wells are yeah

they're like where the basement windows are and they had little slings and the neighborhood we had frogs would get trapped in there and so as a kid i would take all these frogs and put them in buckets in the neighborhood would have like a pet show where you bring your pet and it's like first place second place and i didn't have a pet because my cat ran away so i would take my bucket of frogs and i did that i put like little things for them to climb up and down

that was my pet never won but i was a frog freak that's all i wanted to say about frogs i had frogs when i was a kid but the thing about frogs is they got no rights right you take a frog and stomp on it and nobody ever goes what happened to your frog go i don't know he died right he's buried that bitch in the backyard nobody ever does an autopsy in your frog go why does frog have a crushed skull what the fuck is going on frog csi nobody gives a fuck you could play baseball with frogs you could throw frogs at each other hit each other with fucking frogs, and the frogs die and are paralyzed. Nobody's going to arrest you.

Toads were pretty badass. Toads were like... You could throw a toad at a dude in front of a cop, and nobody would say shit. You could pick up a toad and hurl him at a dude and hit the dude, and nobody would be like, what the fuck, man? Animal rights! Animal rights! A toad is a frog with herpes.

You know how they used to have those little bumps if you lick close and they're all just like warts? Toads are nowhere near the water. Is that what it is? I don't know. Yeah, they're dry. Yeah, they're dry. But this whole licking a frog thing, did you ever do that? No. Did you ever do that? It doesn't work that way. When I was a kid, I did it, but I don't think I ever tripped. Maybe I was doing DMT.

The way to do it, everybody thinks it's lick the frog no you have to smoke it if you lick it it's just like eating it it's not going to get into bloodstream it's just like look dmt when you your brain makes it you're if you if you eat anything that has dmt in it dmt contains whatever whatever it is uh in your body your stomach breaks it down it's called monoamine monoamine oxidase so when you're taking DMT orally, your stomach kills it, and it never gets in your bloodstream.

Wow. So you have to smoke it. You can't orally consume DMT, unless, like the way they do it in Peru and the Amazon, they make this stuff called ayahuasca. You know what that is. And with ayahuasca, what they've done is they've put in one plant,

they put one plant that has DMT in it, and another plant that has an MAO inhibitor. And that's why it works. So you can't really lick a frog because if you lick a frog, it would just be like eating it. It wouldn't work. So what you do is you take the frog and you put it on a glass, you know, and you make the frog excrete his body jizz all over this glass. And this body jizz, I guess, is – and certain animals, it kills them. It kills sheep.

If they eat 5-MAO-DMT, it kills them. So you take it and you excrete it on the glass and then you stick the glass in the sun and it dries it out and then you scrape it off with a razor blade and then you smoke it. How do you think someone figured that? How did they figure out anything?

How did they figure out how to eat lobsters? Yeah, the lobster I get. I guess that makes sense. The lobster I get. Let's see if we can eat this thing. But the thing where you're like, you know what? I wonder what this jizz on the back of my frog does if I dry it and smoke it.

Let me see if I stuck it up my ass. Yeah. How many steps were there before he tried smoking it? Yeah, he had to figure it out, right? I bet it's fairly recent. I bet the smoking it off the frogs, I bet it's probably pretty recent. There's a bunch of different types of DMT out there, too. That was one of the things they were talking about. Different people have different experiences depending on what plant they use when they make ayahuasca.

Because if they use Syrian rue, I was listening to some guy talk about this on the internet, and some interesting discussion about it. And if you use Syrian rue, apparently, they have all this Anunnaki imagery and all this Mesopotamia imagery. You get all this... They all have snakes. That's one thing they share in common. But when you get it from the Amazon, you see black people and jaguars. You see jungle themes.

You see plants and shit. But when you get it in the Middle East, the stuff you're getting is all fucking Mesopotamia shit. It's all Babylonia, all cuneiform tablets and that kind of imagery. And if you get it in the San Fernando Valley, you see Carl's Jr.'s. Like traffic. Zancou. Old cars with little tires. Yeah.

Yeah, it's the idea of keeping psychedelics from people by locking them up. It is amazing that they've been able to do that for that long, that they've been able to keep them illegal. And then if people try to use them, if you want to use it for your own edification, for your own experience, it's illegal. For you yourself to do something. Some person will come and get you and lock you in a cage. Can you imagine if it was only us? Look if it was only the three of us. We're the only people left on the earth. And we discovered

while we were here that there's some shit that makes you experience these incredible states of consciousness. You start having this wave of creativity and these new ideas and it feels like an incredibly intelligent alien life form is communicating with you and then we were like you can't do that dude you can't do that if you do that we're going to kill you or lock you in a cage and we're going to contain you yeah we can't have you running around having that experience and

just running around you're not doing anything to anybody else you're getting it and then you're doing it and if you do it and you test positive for it you are you're against the law well let's imagine that let's say we just in this house there was a creature in a weird outfit that if he caught any of us smoking pot would come and grab us and take us to a certain part of the house and put us in a rape cage we would stop that animal kill it you'd kill you'd be like you know what the thing that's taking us and put us in a rape cage we would stop that animal kill it you'd kill you'd be like you know what the thing that's taking us and putting us in the rape cage um there's only one of them and there's three of us so i don't want to go in the rape cage again can we please make it can you can you can we get rid of the guy who takes us into the rape cage yeah it's like it's

we're trying to be enlightened here and we keep getting raped yeah exactly well yeah we're trying to be enlightened here and we keep getting raped yeah exactly well yeah we're trying to fucking take peyote and communicate with the spirit world and someone keeps throwing me in a cage some big black dude wants to fuck me what the hell man why does it have to be a black dude why because they probably would win more often

why they're better rapers they're better athletes oh man yeah it's a real confusing situation and Why? They're better rapers. Oh, no. They're athletes. Oh, man. Yeah. It's a real confusing situation. And whenever you hear, you know, Lee Baca talking about how he's just going to keep arresting people. Or like in Mexico when they're like, they just found 500 tons of marijuana.

Did you hear about that? Yeah. Biggest cash crop ever that they hauled in. They busted. Yeah, it's just... Good, less Mexican weed. That stuff sucks. Your weed sucks.

Right. If your weed was good, you wouldn't be shooting each other. Yeah. That's true. Mexican weed's the worst. I don't think... No, Brazilian weed's the worst.

When I was in Brazil, we got some weed. It was in a little... It was almost like particle board. It was like a little brick. Yeah. was in Brazil, we got some weed. It was in a little, it was almost like particle board. It was like a little brick. Yeah. A little thin, very tightly compact brick. And you had to break it off and then smoke it.

And it tasted like shit and it smelled like shit. And you barely got high. It's like a cousin of high. Right. It wasn't like real high. Nothing like we have here. You would think, God, these people are living in the forest. The rainforest, rather.

Beautiful, tropical paradise. You know how easy it would be for them to grow weed? But they keep it illegal. I saw it was in the forest. The rainforest, rather. Beautiful, tropical paradise. You know how easy it would be for them to grow weed? But they keep it illegal. I saw it was in the Bahamas, too. Same thing. Really? The Bahamas shit. Isn't that amazing?

What the fuck is that about, man? You know? I mean, how do they not rebel against that? Prostitution is legal in Brazil. Cage fighting's everywhere. Yeah. That's the birth of valetudo fighting. The birth of no rules fighting. And somehow or another, they keep potty legal it's pretty interesting well yeah i

mean it's the big it's the it's the elephant in the room everywhere it's just that to me is the criteria through which you can measure how far a society has advanced is their relationship with psychoactive drugs says everything because it's like anyone who does a psychoactive drug knows you it's fun it is fun this is the part of the podcast where i always click off i was hoping he would talk about the past ufc but it's very clear now to me that he's a hippie faggot yeah and he wants to talk about his fucking pro drug bullshit that's the only reason why we're talking about drugs at all is because drugs are part of life. That's the only reason.

If drugs weren't drugs, if they were some new word, it's a part of life and a fucking significant one. Yep. Tylenol is a gateway drug. Everyone does. It's all fucking gateway drugs, goddammit. Everything's a gateway drug. Milk is a gateway drug to cookies. It sure is.

It is Yeah Drink some milk It's like How awesome would it be To have cookies in this shit The next thing you're eating cookies The milk got you to eat cookies

Cookies are bad for you Yeah Cookies have sugar in it You're gonna get diabetes You're gonna fucking die young We should be allowed to smoke Or eat cookies Whenever we want

Yeah That's right bitch There's people that want to Mandate against fatty foods They want to say that Foods shouldn't have a certain amount of calories or fat content or bad oils or whatever

fuck that man if it tastes good just let me know what it's going to do to me if I eat it I'll make my own decisions this is your space suit you get to run whatever fuel you want through it it doesn't matter what it is and if sometimes that fuel kills you tough shit

that's the way it goes. That's what I say. I say, give me it all, man. Leave it all on the table. Let's fucking sort it all out. Yeah. I don't want my kids to get hooked on it. Neither do you, right?

Good. So let's educate our fucking kids. Yeah. All right? Let's educate our kids and let's get rid of the scumbags that want to push it on kids. Get rid of people that are, you know, don't make it legal to sell to children. Don't make it legal to give them propaganda that makes them think that drugs are good. But the whole idea behind locking anyone up

for doing anything that they want to do, as long as they're informed and of age, do what you want to do, man. If you want to start smoking crack in 2010, if you're a successful person who's got a good business and a nice family, you're like, I've always wanted to try crack. I just don't, you know, I mean, I see New Jack City. jack city it's so appealing i know it sounds crazy but there's just like this

part of me that's been missing something and i think it might be crack yeah i want to try crack once i don't think i'm gonna wind up in a fucking crack house with no money i mean come on mike i'm sigma five we went to school together we played the lacrosse. I'm not a crackhead. I just want to try crack. Julie doesn't want me to do it, but I told her, hey, don't worry. That's not happening. No. Why not? I did it. Why not? You did do crack.

Man, we talked about this before. How did that feel? You've done it too. No, I haven't. Yeah, you have. No, I haven't, but I did when I was... Why are you saying that he didn't? Because he acts like a crackhead. When I was in... Just kidding. That really offended me.

You are ruthless with your cutdowns, Brian. Just kidding. You know, they come so fast and so unexpected, and they're so powerful when they land. Yeah, it's just incredible. You really... Thank God you're doing comedy again. I'm just kidding.

He's doing comedy again. He knows I'm joking with him. No, I don't. You're ruthless, ruthless, ruthless ruthless i'm just kidding you heard him but i have i have bought crack uh when i was really yes when i was when i was living i brought it once i fucking threw it away i didn't even want it when i was in i looked at him like what the fuck is this i'm gonna do crack come on really guys guys really i just moved to la and my landlord was a crackhead and he had a friend who would do crack with him now i i didn't

know i knew that he was into drugs i didn't know it was crack and his friend was a crackhead. And he had a friend who would do crack with him. Now, I didn't know. I knew that he was into drugs. I didn't know it was crack. And his friend was over and his friend said to me, you ever copped a rock before? And I swear to God, I didn't know what he meant, but I wanted to seem cool. So I was like, no, never copped a rock.

I wasn't sure what he meant. He's like, give me a ride. So he's like, drive up here, turn right. I turned right drive around the corner drove around the corner we pull up in front of a house these two fucking gangsters come running out of the house i don't know what it is but they're automatically screaming at him they're like you stupid motherfucker you fucking idiot don't just fucking pull up here they throw crack into the car he gives them money i'm like that and you know that's when i was like oh you you moron

what did you think this was drove drove back you know like really what'd you think and um drove back uh and and him and my landlord proceeded to smoke crack together and that's the only time i've ever seen anyone smoke crack shitty smell smells like burning plastic The guy's face got all pale. And he was like, if I have a heart attack, call 911. Wow. Whoa. Yeah. Did you suck a stick? Whoa.

No, I didn't suck it. I remember the first time I ever saw someone smoking crack. It was on HBO or something like that. It's some sort of a documentary. And while the guy was smoking crack, I was like, look at him. He's fine. He's not even going crazy. I thought you

smoke crack like what the fuck man you just get crazy no the guy's just smoking crack he's just sitting there and i'm like how high could he possibly be just like a speedy high that's all it is like oh i'm feeling speedy you feel better well you just feel speedy if you like that kind of thing it was not my thing. Is it like coughing? No, it's like doing cocaine. It reminded me exactly of doing cocaine. That's pretty much what it was. Wow.

Never done it. Never done it. Dodge that bullet. Don't do it. I'm not going to. I think you might be. What the fuck, bro? No, I'm not.

I'm not interested. Hanging at the pool. I don't see any cocaine advocates. I don't see any cocaine people going, I made it because of cocaine. Right. Cocaine's responsible for most of my energetic decisions, most of my drive, most of my wisdom. When I innovate, hang out at a beach town,

you'll start getting in that group of people that were like, no, I prefer cocaine when I go out. It's a nice drug. Really? You'll have these people that are selling it. They're like civilized people? Cocaine people always wind up shooting each other. They just get crazy. Cocaine relationships, cocaine people, they just get to that fucking point,

that goodfellas point, like when that fucking chick throws the basket at Ray Liotta. She's cooking the coke for him and she throws the basket as he leaves out the door and she's mad at him. They always get to that. I was,

I was just talking about this. I, this, one of the first girls I dated was in Asheville, North Carolina and I met her in this little cafe

because she was sitting, they'd just done cocaine and she was sitting next to this blonde girl and the blonde girl's like all coked up and she's like, we're gonna run this town. Oh no blonde girl's like all coked up and she's like we're

gonna run this town it's like a small mountain town oh that's great we're gonna run ashville it's like 600 population oh that's hilarious it was yeah but that's what it does ashville's supposed to be really cool it's the coolest city ever And it keeps getting cooler and cooler Every time I go back there It's just gotten more interesting And more subversive It's a really cool place We should do comedy there

You and me There's a club up there Let's book it We're going on the road That'll be a good one for you, too. Your act is so fucking weird. It'll fit right in with those hippies. Oh, I mean, it's not hippies.

It's anarchists up there. It's everybody. Yeah, it's just a mix of like, I don't know. What kind of anarchists are you talking about? I believe there's a lot of environmental liberation front type people up there. But I'm not positive about that. A lot of those guys are crazy douchebags. The problem with the really radical organizations,

like almost all of them, even though change does need to occur, at the very top, if you get to the top of PETA and you find out how fucking nutty these guys are, you get to the top of any of these major, what is that, Animal Liberation Organization? Is that what it is?

Well, it's the people who let the animals free. There's a lot of people That don't even think That animals should be pets They think that all Animals should be free To go where they want That you shouldn't be

Keeping them locked up In cages and yards Yeah Yeah there's some There's some Yeah That's great Animals just running

Dogs running around Fucking everywhere Tell my chihuahua Mayor Cutie She shouldn't be a pet Yeah That would be cool though You'd get like a new dog

Every day You'd be like Which kind of dog Am I going to hang out with today? oh there's a golden retriever hey doggie come over it's really twisted out here where i live because there's a lot of coyotes i see coyotes all the time which is a really strange thing it's like the cousin to a dog like a dog didn't quite make it you know into the group got cast on the outside of man and now it just follows around and man encroaches on its territory so it comes in and eats man and now it just follows around and man encroaches on its territory so it comes in and eats cats and shit every now and then and dogs yeah cats big

dogs man there's a story when i when i used to go to this uh pet store uh near my house there was a guy used to work there that trained dogs and he had this dog uh that he worked as a veterinarian's assistant this dog got brought into him uh that was just covered in fucking cuts it was horrendous they had to put the dog under and it was it was a big pit bull like a 90 pound pit bull and they were like what did this to this dog like he must have gotten a big dog fight with a bunch of dogs like this dog is like covered with hundreds and hundreds of wounds okay like they then hours of stitches who knows how many so they they take the dog and they stitch him up, they put him in the veterinarian's hospital, and they go back to the scene of the crime

to figure out what the fuck happened. And they follow a trail of blood and they see some scuffle into the woods. So they go and figure out what the fuck happened. And there they find nine dead coyotes. Fuck. And what they do is, one coyote will come out

and they'll show themselves and then the dog will see that and bark at it and the coyote will look like he's gonna run and the dog will have instincts to chase

and the coyote will run and the dog will chase after him and as he chases after him then they ambush him with the rest of the pack. Fuck. So they ambush this pit bull and it killed nine coyotes.

Jesus Christ. Could you imagine the look on the coyotes' faces when this fucking thing is coming? I can't bring that dog over here. We're going to fuck him up, Mikey. We're going to fuck him up. This is it, bitch.

You want some pussy? You want some coyote pussy? I'm waiting. And then they see this big, giant fucking fire hydrant head, muscles for crushing things built into its fucking skull. You ever look at the skull of a big male pit bull? Brian, what are you doing?

What? Turn the volume back up. The volume ends with a headphone volume. What happened? I haven't changed anything. You just did something. No. My volume just jacked.

Oh. You just adjusted something. It's the headphones. I just turned down the headphone volume. Okay. All right. Point is... It didn't's the headphones. I just turned down the headphone volume. Okay. All right. Point is. It didn't affect the podcast.

Point is. The dude, you know, dog tried to kill coyotes. Whatever. Coyotes tried to kill the dog. Man, that's a stupid fucking coyote. It's like, here's what you do, Roger. You're going to see a chihuahua, maybe a weaned. They just think dogs, man.

They think dogs are soft. But what pit bulls are are not regular dogs. Those things are engineered, first of all, to fight through pain, to not worry about their own instincts. The ones that worry about their own instincts, they don't let breed. When the dogs quit, when the dogs give up, they realize this other dog is superior, they never let that dog breed.

A lot of times they kill them. It's pretty fucked up but what it makes at the end of the day is this crazy fucking monster animal that will do anything you know the pit bulls are like that is the last dog you want coming after you man no shit and like there's a guy in our neighborhood who walks his fucking pit bull off leash yeah he told me about that oh it's awful it's like most of them are great and people are like yeah ma'am you know a lot of people get scared my dog's great yes most of them are great yeah you have to recognize the potential for destruction if you got a nutty one don't their brains also swell no i think that's that's bullshit oh that's no dog does that no no it's all silliness uh

they're they're fucking crazy dogs well they are sweet though anytime i've been around someone's pitbull it's the sweetest dog ever it's around someone's pit bull, it's the sweetest dog ever. Everyone always says, no, it's the sweetest dog ever. It's not like all of them. And then it just takes one bad day. And then it's like, okay, it's crazy like all of them. They're nuts, man. I've had a bunch of them. I've had three of them, four of them.

One of them got distemper, and the other one was all fighting. They fight. They get mad at each other. And if you have more than one, they get together sometimes, and they just settle arguments. And one of them doesn't want to back down. Next thing you know if you have you know more than one they get together sometimes and they just settle arguments and one of them doesn't want to back down next thing you know you got a dead dog and these dogs loved each other and lived together all the time you should lick each other and play together meanwhile they kill each other yeah it's horrible but this just that's what it is man it's just what it is you know they're they're engineered to fight you know

and that's the problem they're they're engineered to not have like normal um alpha beta interactions where you know the beta gives up and the alpha dominates them and leaves them alone no they fight to the death all right they just go after it you know sometimes i would come home and they'd be all bloody so they worked it out you know i'm like i'm glad you assholes worked this out you know and i would just assume it probably never happened again yeah and of course it would gross yeah well it. Yeah, well, it's a fucking scary thing when you think about what a dog really is because a dog is just some fucking animal that could kill you that you control.

You know? You got a dog like that? Right. Any dog that can kill nine coyotes? What a fantastic scene that must have been. Coming up on that scene, just carnage. Just coyote guts and coyote faces,

jaws half hanging off. You know? I mean, think about what that thing must have done to those coyotes. And they're just biting at him, tearing skin, and he's not even paying attention. He's just jacking the next one.

Just a rage, a frothing rage. Dick's probably hard. Man, I had this really spooky fucking thing happen in my neighborhood where I was walking my dog and this weirdo came up to me. And he's like, you should be careful with your dog. There's a lot of coyotes in this neighborhood that have been killing animals. And it was like, he didn't need to tell me that.

Like, I understand. It was just this weird gaunt guy. And I started thinking, like, was that a serial killer? Did I just run into a serial killer who's like... Maybe he's just a nice guy who wants to look out for your dog no because he said he like says you know i've got was he whispering this into your ear yeah he said he's got problems yeah he kind of pointed his like you know i've got problems but a lot of coyote attacks lately and you know like when

you're around somebody you kind of get the sense it's a bad person. Right. It was, something else was wrong with him. And then I remember walking up the street a ways and there was just like a limb of an animal. I don't know if it was a rabbit or what the fuck it was, but some limb that had gotten chomped off. So I guess he's right. I don't know if that had anything to do with it. Maybe he did it. What limb? A dog's limb?

Yeah, it was like a foot. Of a dog? Yeah, I think it was a dog. Yeah, dude, it's no joke, man. Coyotes snatch them right off leashes. Yeah. In Brentwood. A friend of mine was living in Brentwood. He was walking his dog and the coyote came and took it right off his fucking leash and ran with it.

That's awful. Just snatched it. Came by and snatched it and ran away with his dog screaming and yiping. It's out of his hands and he's running after it and he can't do a goddamn thing about it. it's dead. When my dog was a puppy I actually was worried about it because there was a lot of falcons that were just hanging

out in front of my thing and they would like come down real close and I'm like okay. Hawks probably. Or hawks, yeah. And they come inside now. I think,

don't even live in this country do they? Falcons? Falcons? I don't know. Do they need it to America? What am I talking about? I don't know.

I think so. Either way, birds of prey. Were you the one that posted that thing of the giant eagle that didn't kill the animal but pushes it off a cliff and then goes down and eats it? Goats. way, birds of prey. Were you the one that posted that thing of the giant eagle that didn't kill the animal but pushes it off a cliff and then goes down and eats it? Yeah, goats.

Yeah. They grab goats and drag them off the side of the cliff and drop them. That video's awesome. Fuck. It's insane, dude. Eagles are ruthless motherfuckers, dude. They are so scary. The idea, I mean, it's a flying dinosaur.

That's really what it is. I mean, they have the same mentality that a dinosaur would have. Right? I mean, when they say that birds, they say that birds are the descendants of dinosaurs, right? Whatever survived the big Yucatan meteor impact, asteroid impact, whatever survived, whatever animal, dinosaur species, they eventually evolved into birds. That's the theory, right? Isn't it? Yep.

So that's the theory. No, because chickens grow fangs every once in a while right that's the thing that chickens do yeah yeah and so if that's the theory then you gotta think that the really ruthless ones that we have today you know like eagles and shit like that they were probably some nasty ass fucking flying little dinosaur reptile thing that made it, you know? Right. They lived through the holocaust of some gigantic chunk of iron and rock slamming into the earth at 45,000 miles an hour.

These ruthless little cunts lived and became eagles. They weren't the only ones that lived. What a fucked up way to kill things, too. They fly out of the sky. They're like dragons, man. Yeah. They look like they have dragon claws and shit. They don't spit out fire, but that, you take away all the feathers and shit.

If they didn't have feathers and you looked at them for what they were underneath and all, that pretty, you know, soft exterior of the feathers, that's a nasty, scaly, you know, gray-looking lizard thing that flies. That's what it is. I mean, we think of them as being soft and almost being mammalian. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you're right. Those are lizard thing that flies. That's what it is. I mean, we think of them as being soft and almost being mammalian. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you're right.

Those are lizard things. Yeah. Those aren't like any fucking mammal. That's a creepy, alien-looking lizard thing with dead eyes. Those eyes don't give a fuck about you. And they come swooping out of the sky to snatch fish out of the water

and fly with them and pull eagles, or pull, rather, goats off the side of a fucking cliff and drop them. Just ruthless cunts. They're like little fucking devils. Little flying demons. They're the noble eagle. I take offense at you,

disparaging our nation's birds. America, America, God shed his grace on thee. Just evil flying lizard cunt snatches fucking shit out of the sky and eats it. Babies. They probably eat babies. I bet there's definitely been a baby that got snatched up by an eagle. Of course.

There's a fucking cool video in Alaska. These people are in their yard and they have this yard that's all this grass in it yeah and they throw out some fish like you know the after they made fillets they throw out like heads and all sorts of you know extra fish that they have yeah and these eagles come out and they're all eating in their yard and they've got like fucking i don't know 20 30 bald eagles eating the salmon in their yard. It's like, whoa! This is nuts, man.

These crazy fucking demons with pretty feathers. That'd be cool. Get really stoned and watch an eagle feast go on your backyard. Fuck yeah, it would, dude. Yeah, that would be amazing. Yeah, it would. You know, seeing any animal in its natural habitat must be fucking incredible. You know, like you run into a bear.

If you actually did run into a bear. I mean, I ran into a bear at Yellowstone. But it didn't feel like it was a natural environment. Because they were coming up to cars. And it was obvious that these bears had been coming up to cars before. So it almost felt like the zoo. It didn't feel real. And they would tell you not to feed them.

But people were still feeding them. They were like opening their window a crack. This is like the 70s. I did this when I was a little kid. And I remember thinking, this is just like the zoo. Until we went to sleep, we were in our sleeping bag, and we were camping. And it was me, and I think it was just me and my stepdad. No, it was the whole family.

So we're camping in Yellowstone, and I slept through the whole thing. But apparently, they heard some banging around and shit and we got up there in the morning and the cooler had been torn open and all the food had been eaten and there was paw prints all over the car. So this bear was just feet away.

Just feet away from us sleeping inside some little baggie. We're basically like a little dinner in a baggie. The whole family's in this baggie. But these bears are so conditioned to being around wasteful humans and sloppy humans that they just look for food that way. They're conditioned to go look in your cooler.

That's where the food is. It's not like, let's start eating people. But if they did, they'd be like, holy shit, this is way better. They're in the bag. They can't even get out of the bag. You just start eating them. You just jump in and start eating.

They can't get away. They could do that. They were right outside our door, ripping shit apart. So strong they could tear apart a cooler. Rip it open. Stomped all over the car. Big-ass paw prints. That's, to me, that's like one.

That really is a shitty death is getting. I mean, it's obvious to say, but compared to other deaths. Getting killed by an animal? Ugh! Yeah. How about the guy that just got killed by a goat? What is that?

I saw the link, but I didn't click on it. What is that? A goat jabbed him in the leg, and it penetrated one of his arteries, and he bled out. That's bad luck.

Well, the goat apparently was super aggressive. They had had problems with this goat before, and they had done things to try to condition the goat to stay away from people. So they would go near the goat and shoot it with a beanbag gun and shit. And that made the goat even more douchey.

Because goats are stubborn as fuck. Goats don't learn. What they should have done is shot it with a gun. That's what they should have done. You got a goat that's cunty and wants to jack people? Let's just kill this fucking goat, alright? There's plenty of other goats. Why are we taking chances?

What a weird job. Go shoot the goat with a beanbag gun. Go bully the the goat so that the goat is scared of people what is this a petting zoo yeah it's the mountains oh it's in the mountains yeah it's in the mountains so a guy's in the mountains and a goat comes up and just stabs his leg and then he fucking goes after him gets him in the leg the guy's fucked and then the goat won't let people take away the body the goat's standing over him while he's moaning you He hasn't died yet, so he's lying on his ground, and they can't shoo the goat away so they can save the guy. How big is this goat?

I know. Goats aren't that small. I would not be afraid of a goat, though. You say that, bro. That goat will fuck you up. I've been around a lot of goats. You haven't been around a wild mountain goat? I've never been around a mountain goat.

Mountain goats are scary, dude. Those things are strong as fuck. You ever see how they can climb up beside a mountain? They climb on mountains. I mean, like this. Like this incredible pitch. It's like a fucking 60 degree angle. They're climbing straight up a mountain. You're like, how the fuck are they doing this?

That's the height of absurdity. Like, if you think about as that man was laying there going into shock and contemplating the situation going from being, you know, like, oh, look. Oh, my God, Mary, look, it's a goat. Oh, wait, the goat's coming. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

Oh, my God, I'm bleeding. I can't get away. I'm getting weak. Did I just get killed by a goat? I just got killed by a goat? Grab the goat's dick and run. Yeah, that's so absurd to think about that. It's very strange.

How long in all of human history, how many humans have been killed by a goat? Probably a lot. It's probably pretty small. It's small. Definitely more than marijuana. You know what's the biggest thing in this country for farm animals? Pigs. Pigs kill more people than any other farm animal.

Have you seen Jackass 3D yet? No, but apparently what happens with pigs is they'll eat anything. And if you're feeding pigs and you fall into the oh yeah they just start jacking you yeah there's in my my um my parents have a place uh on this like little island off the coast of georgia that's got wild pigs and those things will kill you like they're dangerous wild pigs especially because they always have babies and if you get it's the same thing if you get around their babies they'll they've got tusks. They'll bite you and they're filthy so the bite will get infected. Pigs are dangerous.

Feral pigs are dangerous. Feral pigs are scary because feral pigs change. You know the story that if you get a pink pig that's in a farm and it's kept well and fed well, they have a certain appearance to them. Well, when they get loose within three weeks their body starts to change it's a very strange phenomena the idea of a farm animal is like an embryonic stage and all it has to do is think that it has to fend for itself yeah and then it becomes this different thing it's like some new chemical gets released

and its fur becomes thick and hairy like thick and like darker and then its tusks grow it literally changes the animal it's a fascinating metamorphosis yeah and it happens within three weeks wow within three weeks of the animal becoming feral they just get loose and then they start morphing fucking nutty shit that's nutty nutty shit like what's happening there What's that saying about people? Are we not reaching our full potential because we get our food from a supermarket? You know what I'm saying? Are we set up that way?

That's a great weird sci-fi idea, which is like a spaceship finally makes it out of the Earth's gravitational field and gets a certain distance away from Earth, and the people on the spaceship start changing like their bodies start elongating right they turn into aliens and it's like oh my god they morph they morph yeah like the pigs wow like if you go into space that's the next stage yeah that's the next stage it's like uh like the aquatic worm jumping into the the pond to give yeah space is the next stage we're just like like, here we're just like squashed aliens. Like the gravity squashed us down. When we get off the planet.

You know, there's certain salamanders that never reach adulthood unless certain environmental conditions are in place. Like weather conditions? No, like temperature,

moisture, you know, certain conditions have to be in place. Otherwise, they stay in the immature phase their entire life. Right. How fascinating would that be if that's what the thing with humans is?

Once you get off the Earth, once you go into space, then the different gravity and environment of space allows your body to knock out of the human shell and become this next thing. The third eye starts secreting something. But we would already know that, right? Correct. Because the people in the space station would be smart as fuck. No. The people that got back from the space station would be dropping science.

That's what we just said. No, aren't the people on the space station are still on the gravitational... I think we've got too many what ifs on this one. There's a lot of what ifs. There's a lot of what ifs every week, man. Yeah. I blame the weed.

What if, man, if we go to space, we turn into a frog, and then you smoke yourself? Bro, what if the frog wants to suck my dick. Should I let him? That chip seemed pretty happy. So I was on this flight to London and Melanie Griffith was on the flight.

And Melanie Griffith is a very nice lady. She seems very sweet. She smiles at everybody. She seems nice. And I was thinking, man, this is Melanie Griffith. I remember her old school from the 80s, some of those movies that she was in. I remember when she played, even recently when she played in the thing about the guy who, William Randolph Hearst.

What was the movie about? What was it called? It was about him. It was about the making of Rosebud or the making of Citizen Kane. It was Orson Welles was in it and it was all about how crazy William Randolph Hearst was

and she played his wife. I'm like, she's like such a good actor, you know, actress. So anyway, she's on this plane and I ate a pot cookie

like two hours before the flight. I figured like, I'll eat it in the car over there and then right when I get on board, it'll kick in

and it was way too strong. Why would kick in. And it was way too strong. Why would you do that? It was way too strong. I don't get that. It was so strong, dude. It was so strong. I was breaking down my entire life. I was thinking about everything I've ever done, every negative thing that I've ever done,

every positive thing that I've ever done. And then I started thinking about the possibility of endless universes, the possibility of every single choice leads you into another parallel universe that you don't even feel the distance, you don't even feel the difference in the switch over. I started thinking all this crazy shit and I started thinking about mortality,

I started thinking about energy and life and I was just, I couldn't function. I was curled up in the fetal position. I was so adrift, I was so high that I really seriously considered pissing my pants really because i had

to go i had to pee but i didn't want to get up so i thought i'll just piss my pants i had i thought that that was a real consideration for a whole second for a whole second i was like i found the solution i was going through my possibilities i want to i want to pee okay i don't want to get up what is the option so i just pissed myself i was like i knew i had to pee. Okay, I don't want to get up. What is the option? So I just pissed myself. Wow. I was like, I knew I had to pee, but my brain was like, that's all well and good, but you can't get up. There's no way you can get up. That makes sense. We need to stay in this spot.

Yeah. So I got up, and then I peed, and then I thought about how ridiculous it is that I even thought about that. So I'm sitting in this bathroom, looking out this little round window. It's turning dark now, and I'm seeing fucking streetlights and shit, and I'm 30,000 feet up, and I'm fucking flying. Dude, I'm gone. I am awash in a river of information, and it's flowing by so quick.

I can't grab any of it, and I have to pay attention to what I'm doing because I'm on whitewater rapids. If I don't pay attention, I'm going to hit a rock of consciousness that I might never recover from. You know what I'm saying? I got to keep it together. That's how high I am. So I go back to my seat and I lie down again, back in the fetal position after I'm done peeing. And the seats are all staggered. They're not in a straight line. It's not like everybody's head is at the same place. Everybody's feet are in the same place. Well, four hours into the flight, everybody starts to go to sleep. I'm so high, I can't do anything.

I'm just laying there just hoping this is just going to eventually come back to normal and I don't have to think like this for the rest of my life because I'm not going to be able to enjoy anything because I'm going to overthink everything. And so as I'm thinking this, I look over and I notice that this guy is sitting in this one seat right here and he's this big fat guy. And right where his ass is, directly across the aisle, is Melanie Griffith's head. It's three feet away.

It's three feet away, and this guy is sleeping. And Melanie Griffith is sleeping. This guy doesn't even have a blanket on. And I got my headphones on. I'm listening to some music. I'm trying writing on the computer and this guy opens his ass i mean opens his ass on melanie griffith's head her head was right across the aisle it was only three feet away he just shit in her head

he it was there was no blanket to contain the blast radius. Wow. It was just... Did she wake up? Dude, she didn't say nothing. No one said nothing. There's no way she didn't know what happened. There's no way. I don't know if she realizes this guy just shit in her head because she was facing the other direction.

She was probably like, oh my God, someone's disgusting. But she has no idea that really she just got shat upon. That is awesome. Dude, this guy is not even wearing fucking a blanket, man. He's just got his sweaty dress slacks. And it's just a poorly maintained lid to a biological sewer that's not very well maintained either. And this guy probably had all kinds of fucked up food and you know just burgers and shit he's fat man he's got this big fat face and he just just fucking unloads it was

horrible man it was horrible and you know it was him because he's the fat guy and this no one gets discriminated more than fat guys when somebody farted. Black people get blamed when shit gets stolen. And Chinese people, when they're in a car accident, they get blamed. Nobody gets blamed more than if somebody farted and there's a fat guy. That's just immediately. Even though we all know some very skinny people that have some horrible fucking gas. It doesn't matter.

You look at a fat guy. Yeah. The fat guy's got to be worse he shit right in melian griffith's head did she move around no one moved he did though he moved he adjusted after he farted he moved and adjusted i was like you motherfucker like i saw him move so i knew he was conscious while it all happened but you know his back was turned so he's pretending that nothing was real you know he was turned into a seat so he was like you know facing a turned, so he was pretending that nothing was real. He was turned into a seat, so he was facing a little wall. So he could just pretend nothing.

But he had to know. He farted on him. He opened up on purpose, dude. He opened up. He didn't like the feeling. Oh, you think this was like a vengeance? No, but it would be funny if he did. Imagine if they set it up this way.

Imagine if it was like the guy came up to Melanie Griffith's agent. It's like, I have a billion dollars I made in the software industry, and I have but one wish. I want to fart on Melanie Griffith. And he had this idea, and they were like, well, first of all, we're gonna even to bring it to Melanie's desk, we're gonna need to talk numbers.

This guy's like, five million dollars. I'm willing to pay five million dollars to fart in Melanie Griffith's face. It's the role of her lifetime. And so, no, willing to pay $5 million to fart in Melanie Griffith's face. It's the role of her lifetime. No, no, no. They had to figure out how are we going to do this. Okay, Melanie is not going to agree to just let you fart in her face, man.

This is not going to work this way. What we need to do is get you guys both on an airplane. That's the only way. You're going to be about three feet from her head. I mean, you can't be farting right on her head, but you're going to be three feet away. And we'll seat it so that your ass lines up with her face, and you get to fart on her head. You mean, you can't be farting right on her head. But you're going to be three feet away. And we'll seat it so that your ass lines up with her face and you get to fart on her head. You take it from there.

Maybe her agent did the whole thing. He's taking all the money. He set it all up. It's always been this guy's wish. Maybe she has a super sophisticated enemy. And that's all he's been doing her whole life is paying guys to fart on her head

i farted on an old woman at starbucks a couple weeks ago did you it was one of the greatest things ever she was right behind you totally right behind me it was one of those where i was just going to do a little quick i thought it was going to be a quiet nice one but it just was like like super super loud and powerful oh my god it was loud yeah it was super loud and powerful and very embarrassing and and i i remember looking at her i kind of like looked back like like 10 seconds later just kind of did a little look back to see what was going on and she did not seem like mad she looked kind of concerned like almost like was that me like her face looks so confused to exactly what i thought it was that's awful she

thought she shit herself that must be the worst feeling ever when you're incontinent. Just walking around, your body doesn't contain its bowels anymore, and your urine leaks out. You're like, oh, God. Yeah, it's pretty gross when these things start melting down, man. You know, it's funny how kids don't give a shit if you watch them pee. They don't feel bad about peeing and pooping and everything like that. There's no shame in it.

And so my daughter is learning how to potty train. So she's getting out of the diaper stage, but occasionally she just makes a mistake. And so she's sitting in her, her high chair and she has to pee. She thinks about it a while. She goes, I'm just going to piss. So she just pees like an incredible amount of pee.

It's dripping off the high chair. It's on the ground. And she's like, what happened? She goes, I peed. You know, like it's not bothering her i go

why didn't you tell me you have to go she goes i forgot like oh okay but isn't that that's that's the basis of freudian psychology is the way your parents handle you're you're shitting yourself exactly so i go oh okay i go well next time that happens maybe we should uh make sure before you go in the high chair you uh use the potty. She's like, okay, probably. She says shit like that. That's awesome. Yeah. Non-committal.

No. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a lot of maybes. Yeah. Maybe like, maybe we can get ice cream. You know, it was like, there's a lot of like, trying to steer the conversation a certain way.

Very manipulative at two. That's awesome. Have you taken the, I'm sitting on my toilet photo for her so she can use it in her Facebook in 15 years? No, I'm not going to allow her to have Facebook. Wait, how many terabytes? Let me ask. How many terabytes of photographs of kids sitting on toilets are on Facebook? Like two.

Two or three? That's such a popular picture. It's so cute. That's the thing that kills single people. I have one. People that have babies in a month. I have one of me. People that have babies in a month. I have one of me holding Glamour magazine sitting on the toilet naked. Really?

Glamour magazine. Is there any more overused premise than the woman's magazine? Do they have a story left to tell? I mean, is there a new sex trick to keeping your man? How to keep the passion in the bedroom? I mean, who has exhausted a genre more than like cosmo muscle no but men's magazines always have a new way to get a six-pack that's true every third men's magazine or second men every every other month it's like a new way

to obtain the six-pack of a marine yeah there's something very homoerotic about those bodybuilding magazines there's something very homoerotic about the admiration of a man's physique you know look at this guy motherfuckers get the best thighs yeah you know something but look at the striations in the the ass and then the lower back with the christmas tree in the lower back the striations are incredible i mean he did still a tremendous job. Striations. Tremendous job in cutting the water out so you could really see the muscle. I mean, it's a very beautiful, beautiful sculpture he made his body into. Why not just go suck his dick, buddy? You know what I'm saying?

There's something weird about it. But on the other hand, it's like I recognize your desire to have an insane body. Like, why not? Go do it. If that's what you're into, and you get oohs and ahs out of it, and people think you're special because of it, I totally get it. I see what you're doing. Well, there's a difference between wanting to have an insane body and then, like, talking about a Christmas tree on someone's back, a term I never heard in my life. I know. Well, there was a dude who used to be a huge bodybuilding fan.

This was back when I lived in Boston. He was one of my students when I was teaching martial arts. He was a huge bodybuilding fan, but was fat i never understood it the dude was like seriously fat and i was like well i guess he was really fat at one point then he got into body building and then he started slowly losing weight because he wanted to have a physique like that so but he never lost any weight i just like was just a fat guy always talk about body but you see the latest thing and Lee Haney's incredible. I don't know who those,

I think it was, who was it, who was the Mr. Olympia back in that day? I really have no idea. But he was, and I was like, how come you don't, I mean,

are you into bodybuilding? Do you bodybuild yourself? And he's like, well, I did. I lift a little weights. I lift. I just try to keep in shape. I just admire what they do.

And I'm like, whoa. Okay, there's something weird about that that something weird about you fixating on other dudes bodies you're a fan of what they're doing to their bodies but you don't even do anything to your own like you just like to stare at their improvement like wow look at his back that is a hilarious character his back's incredible yeah it is, right? Like a guy who's not gay at all, but he's just like super into like really, really into men's body development. Like you go to his office and it's just got like framed pictures of muscular guys. And he's just like, I respect their work.

Come here. Let me show you something, Joe. Look at that Christmas tree. That's a terrible term. I've never heard that. Yeah, they call it the lower back. Yeah. Yeah, this guy. This guy told me, the Christmas tree. That's a terrible term. I've never heard that. Yeah, they call it the lower back. This guy, this guy told me the Christmas tree. This guy,

one of my students was like, he's got that Christmas tree in his lower back. Yeah, the Christmas tree. A lot of presents under that tree. I'm going to put a little bit of snow on that tree. Frosty the snowman. Where's that present under the tree? Yeah. It always has to go to some gay place, folks.

We are very immature. Very, very immature. You know what? I got to say, got a little immature with farting on Melanie Griffith's head. Is that where I went wrong? Yeah. You blame me?

But it really happened, man. It's real shit, bro. What I like is it was preceded by, it looks like you were on the verge of figuring out one of the biggest things ever, and you ended up in a catatonic state and got to see one of the funniest things of all time. Yeah, no shit, right?

That's a very funny moment to get to witness. I mean, that maybe only happened once. Yep. People aren't always farting on melanie griffith's head it's probably more likely that you're being abducted by an alien then you get yourself in a position where you could fart on melanie griffith's head yeah operation viper yeah you saw the final phase of operation would you rather fart on melanie griffith's head or angela lansbury i wouldn't want to fart on either one of their heads. Oh, Angela all the way. Why would you want to fart on Angela Lansbury? I'd make her wear a little bit of makeup.

I don't want to fart on people's heads. Brian, that's just rude. Fuck that girl. Who is Angela Lansbury? Murder, she wrote? Where do you have a problem? I just want to see her face pucker up. What is it that we want to see little old ladies kicking ass?

Could you imagine if Angela Lansbury would beat dudes up occasionally? They'd try to get her from calling 911 on the phone. She kicks them in the balls. She carries a knife. Like if there was a female seniors MMA. That would make a lot of money.

Oh my god, could you imagine? Old ladies beating the fuck out of each other. And occasionally they would die bravely in the ring, like she died for our freedom. And they would show. Gross. Just the sound of hips breaking. Every three fights. ACLs just snapping like carrots.

Dentures flying. They'd throw a wild haymaker and their foot falls off. Oh god. That would be so sad to watch just concerned grandchildren weeping in the stands isn't there a video online i didn't watch it but somebody put it up two old ladies got into a fight somebody throw up on twitter i know you folks know know what it is it was on the rogan board i'm pretty sure i didn't watch it but i saw the opening frame and it was like one old lady was down and the other old lady was up and I was like

I don't need to see anymore I need to see these old ladies beating the shit out of each other have you ever seen old lady porn like really old lady porn yes and that's very disturbing

because that one old lady this one old lady I showed it looked like she was like maybe Alzheimer's like they found her like she didn't seem like she knew what was going on oh

Jesus it was really bad there's a dark one I want the first one I ever watched was Ron Jeremy he was like the first one to do it I think and it was him banging this really old lady and she was like oh it's so lovely it feels so good no I was watching it she was just like just wretched old creature I was like my god know the pussies look fine kind of still, though. They don't look as old as their faces. Really? I think it's a charitable...

You don't see that much sunlight. Don't you think it's a charitable thing to do, though? The face is getting lit up by sunlight all the time, man. You have to realize how bad that is for you. People don't realize how bad it is for you until you look at the rest of your body. How much is your face deteriorating? There's much more wrinkles in my face than any other part of my body. You know, it's because my face is in sun all the time.

You're in your sun. Sun's coming off your windshield. You're out there in the sun. The aging process is accelerated by the sun for sure. Huh. You know, like your armpits and everything. When your armpits get wrinkled, your face is jacked as fuck. You know?

My armpits do not look great. When your armpits start giving out and all that shit starts to sag and wrinkle, that means your face looks like ass, son. These poor old ladies, man. These poor old ladies. That's a dark moment for a woman. Especially a really super

attractive woman who's kind of banked her personal self-esteem on being attractive. That's got to be the worst feeling in the world, man. You mean the feeling of universal justice crushing in on you justice as a justice because anytime you are an idolater anytime you base your thou shalt not build the house upon sand don't don't don't structure your whole life and it's an easy thing to do and you know i i i get it and i understand how easy it would be to slip into depending on your looks and all that stuff.

But it's like if you were really intelligent, you would have developed some facet of yourself that wasn't based on that. Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, I guess, but that's easy to say. Most people live their lives without a rule book or a guide book and they really don't know what the fuck they're doing. There's a lot of good people that wind up in shit lives because they just never were told how to live and they made a series of

mistakes and they fell into the wave of the momentum those mistakes and now here they are fucked fucked by circumstance being born in a fucked up neighborhood did some fucked up parents and fucked up friends i prefer to believe though that and i think this is where we definitely differ in opinion because i really believe that no matter what life situation you're in you can get out of that into a better place i can't if you go to jail you can't if you do something dumb when you're young even in jail i think that this there is even in jail there are ways that you can uh master certain techniques of getting out of it there's yes there's always true but you will not be you you will not be surrounded by those techniques. You will have to seek them out.

It's going to take a very rare effort to really rise and eliminate yourself from the horrible reality of your conditions, your surroundings, violent people, all the different shit that they're doing in there, the gangs, all the bullshit. No, you're right. You're not going to evolve in there. It's more difficult, but it's like I just think – It's almost impossible, man. involved in there. It's more difficult, but it's like, I just think... It's almost impossible, man. People do it, and they get through it, and they become better people for it, and they learn while they're in there,

and they really, truly reflect on their life and reflect on their mistakes, but much more likely, they get sucked into the system. But there's a great book by Viktor Frankl called Man's Search for Meaning, which is written by a psychologist who was in Auschwitz and was observing the way people were reacting with apps,

having their humanity ripped away from them, their clothes ripped off, being naked, covered in lice, randomly getting killed. And he like founded an entire style of therapy based on his theory of why some people in these situations survived. Some even flourished in these situations as far as being kind to people around them and why some people died. And the essence of his theory is that within the human being, if you can find something to live for, just something, whatever it is, then that will take you through any situation. It'll get you to the other side of any situation. This book changed my life. It's one of my favorite books. It's fucking incredible. And one thing that he says in there, which is really awesome, is he talks about how

he was being on a forced work march, and he was really weak. And he was on a forced work march, and he fell down. And one of the soldiers, because he fell down, came and just started really weak, and he was on a forced work march, and he fell down, and one of the soldiers, because he fell down, came and just started beating him, beating him with his fucking rifle, get up, get up, get up, and he had seen this soldier kill people with this technique, just beat him to death with a rifle, because they wouldn't get up, and he thought, if I don't get up, I'm going to die, and he thought, well, you know, why should I not die? I'm probably going to die anyway. Why not just let this be the moment that I die?

And all of a sudden, he imagined himself giving a speech where he was talking about this experience and using this experience to try to transform the world in a positive way to show people that no matter how fucking horrible the situation is you can find a way out of it mentally to give you the strength and the will to keep pushing forward and he got up and he survived and he became like a very famous um psychologist and a philosopher so it's a good what was this guy's name again victor frankel and the book is man's search for meaning and it's a brutal book. So what was this guy's name again? Viktor Frankl. And the book is? Man's Search for Meaning. And it's a brutal book.

It's really fucking intense, the description of the death camp and stuff. But it's awesome. And his therapy was called Logos Therapy. Existential psychotherapy. Wow. I mean, what is the search for meaning? The search for meaning is the search to try to find a reason to stay alive. And then if you do try to find a reason to stay alive and succeed, and you do look forward to

life and put positive energy into it, something is going to come out. But is that a meaning? Is that meaning? You know, man's search for meaning. Is that a correct, is there really a meaning to everyone? And if we look at the way the world is going, look at the direction that human beings are headed into with the pollution of the world, with this crazy nuclear arms race thing trying to keep Iran from developing nukes and Israel's got them

and all these people got them. If you look at overpopulation, if you look at the economic crisis, the crisis of government, you look at all this crazy shit that's going on. We're preserving what like what are we doing we're moving it towards what direction you know like what what are we

trying to save what what is what is what is good about all this well i mean the thing is like the i the the ego tries to create a lofty reason so i mean you know i'm saying like search for meaning no you live and you meaning you live and you die you live under these circumstances of this slow toxification of the earth and you die and man search for meaning you're searching for meaning while all this shit is happening

right you know what I mean I know exactly what you're saying and I think he's dealing with that very issue and he what he says he would ask his clients or the people who came to see him dealing with that very issue. And what he says, he says that he would ask his clients

or the people who came to see him, he's like, why don't you kill yourself? What's the reason that you're not killing yourself? Why are you deciding to stay alive in the world? Have you explored that? Have you ever asked yourself, what's getting me out of bed? What's the reason behind this?

And it doesn't have to be some lofty thing. It doesn't to be i'm staying alive to because i want to you know i want to become president and bring peace to the world it can be some very simple thing it can be your kids it can be art it can be because you like video games it doesn't have to be some lofty fucking thing even though to me some of those ideas would it's very difficult for me to swallow it, but it's finding that connection to the world, you know, it's finding that place. Right, but what is that all about? What is the meaning of all of it? I mean, that's the thing, man's search for meaning, that there's some sort of a meaning to everything we do. And I think it's an individual. It's like what you said, when you have these... Each individual has their own particular meaning, and if they don't hit that frequency,

and they don't find that frequency and they don't find that path then they won't be happy well think of it man like you know like the times that i've this sounds really stupid so go ahead and make fun of me for it but like uh um i have a a really uh amazing girlfriend i have a really fucking cool chihuahua i fucking love those entities right now there have been times in my life where i haven't had things like that you know where i haven't had those connections right and i've noticed i tend to be more self-destructive in those states right you know what i mean like i agree it's it's like we uh louis ck has this really funny joke about how like if you don't have a kid you know he's like i can't die there are people i

have to feed there are things that i have to take care of you know they're like i like it adds this whole other so it's like finding that thing in your life you know and it doesn't have to be an interpersonal relationship it can be other things but it's like the idea is find that thing and that thing will be the thing that steers your ship through this turbulent the right but take it a step further what what is this purpose what is this this reason to stay alive this reason to find this thing this reason to do your job and stake your position here and have your influence here what is it what is it about choosing the correct frequency to you whatever it is for you whether

it's pursuing a career as a professional bowler or a carpenter or a doctor or a writer whatever the fuck it is for you what is it about that pull like what what do you what is what is really happening is fulfilling your own personal desires and interests is that really just a part of a gigantic equation and then everybody is working and just a part of a gigantic equation? And then everybody is working and everybody has a certain part and it's not stated. It's not written in stone. There's some wiggle room to go this way and that way. But in order to truly be happy, your instincts, your emotions, all these things are guiding you towards a certain direction.

And that certain direction might be a part of some huge pattern that is impossible to see. You would have to get so high above the human race. You have to separate yourself from your history and your ideas about humans in order to see it all together, in order to see all the fucking different things that are happening all over the world all together simultaneously and consider the impact of the human race as a whole it seems like that because that's why there's trash men that's why there's like these jobs you're like why are people actually doing that that's crazy you know it seems

like that is makes a complete sense that way that's cool we don't like to think that it makes sense because we like to think that we all have our own personal choice we all have our own identity and we all have our own path that we can choose through this life and you can change and you can become a different person and i agree with all that i i'm not saying that it's 100 everything that you do is set in stone but it seems to me that there is without a doubt there's a push towards a certain direction and it might not be very exact it might not be everyone gets pushed towards a certain direction but if your your instincts are to breed to settle down to procreate to possess the coolest material possessions to show off for the joneses to be

successful at what you do what what are all those things doing well all those things they're all pushing innovation they're all pushing the creation of new technology they're all pushing the invention of new crazy fucking super things yep it's almost like we don't even realize we are infected by a parasite the parasite is technology we're slowly giving birth to it over a period of a couple of decades until it gets to a point where it can take care of itself and what we're doing is we're carrying it inside of our bodies we're leaving it you know in in our houses everywhere we look we're connected to it and it to it. And it is a life form. It is a life form.

We just don't recognize it as a life form because we're looking for something like us. We're looking for something that has cells and gives blood and has blood pumping through it. But if you look at my old shitty Mac laptop, it's big and fat like a fucking Bible. And it cranks open. It's all rickety and shit. The screen looks like dog shit. It's only a few years old, man. It's like 10 years old.

That's insane. In 10 years, this thing has evolved. It's like comparing a monkey and comparing a person. But that shit took millions of years. This laptop into a MacBook Pro, that only took 10. That took 10 years. This big, fat, stupid brick, and now this thing's awesome. What is that?

It's 15 years, 16 years? That's some crazy shit, man. And the thing that it evolved into is using itself to make itself smaller. You're using each subsequent evolution as accelerating the next phase. Yeah. It's really cool, man. Yeah, it's fascinating, man. It might be a life form.

Like literally. Literally technology might be something that we just, we don't consider it a life form because we need to consider life forms as being similar to us in some way. You can kill it. It bleeds. It eats. It shits. That's the only way we see it. We don't

we don't see this thing that we're making we're literally creating its brain yeah but if you are watching from afar you'd be like oh yeah those creatures are innovating some sort of i don't know sure if you were an alien intelligence without a doubt right that's immediately what you would say that's um terence mckenna the what he says is we are extruding psychic objects into the material universe that's what human beings do and if you look at the you know the cities it's like coral extrusions of matter coming from our minds like coral reefs and this is all being this is all moving towards the invention of some super tool? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. This is moving towards the invention of some new connection to the universe. Some new, you know, we might be giving birth to some organism, some technological organism,

something that can replicate, something that is sentient, it's aware of itself and can make decisions and alters its environment and chooses to replicate itself in a more advanced way. And then that one chooses to replicate itself in a more advanced way. And literally within a year, they could go through 10,000 years of fucking evolution. I mean, they can produce incredible results. If you really get to the point of you see how quickly technology and computers have evolved as compared to biology, if they're both life forms, it's not even close as to which one's going to win. The technology one's going,

they're going to develop wormholes and portals and we'll just be growing webbed feet because we live near water. You know what I mean? That shit will take like a million years before people can hold their breath past five minutes. There's one tribe in New Zealand that can hold their breath for seven minutes.

This is an evolutionary advantage. You know, when they talk about like like, Eskimos have an evolutionary advantage where they can be outside in freezing weather and their hands don't get cold like ours do. When your hands would get frostbite, you'd be fucked, and you might even lose your fingers. They can actually be fine. It's because their body has adapted to that environment.

But that shit takes generations. When that started, they didn't even have writing. Well, yeah, and the way that that happens, Joe, is by, according to hardcore evolutionists, it's random mutation. It's not even as though the necessity caused the thing to happen, as though you, through the will of necessity that you need to survive in the cold longer, suddenly you get that. It's a mutation that happens to some lucky Eskimo. And because he has that mutation, he's a little bit happens to some lucky eskimo and because he has that mutation he's a little bit more advanced and he reproduces more and passes that mutation on and

that's how it gets into the gene line not from an intentionality so it's even more random than necessity it's just you know when the moth accidentally mutates into the same color of the tree that moth is going to survive more because the birds can't see it. And that moth, it's... Is it accidental, though? That's the big question. That's the question. Random mutations being accidental is a very controversial subject. Yes.

It's a very controversial theory. I don't think so. Theory. Because a lot of people believe that things just... Like, McKenna had this idea that everything... Brian, why do you keep doing that? Because we have three minutes until we have to split up the podcast into episodes. Brian, so what?

Just let me know. You keep doing it. You're going seven, five. Please. I'm just letting you know because we'll have to split this into two podcasts. It doesn't matter. I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a fuck about two podcasts. All right. What were we talking about? We're talking about whether evolution is some random mutation or whether through the need of the organism itself, somehow this begins to it mutates

well the idea that thanks the idea mckenna had this idea that everything naturally moves towards uh infinite complex like the idea what was the exact wording um his idea was that everything moves towards complexity that like everything from the big bang till today from single-celled organisms to multi-celled organisms, from everything that exists in the whole universe has an ethic. It has a rule, and that rule moves towards more and more complex things. What it is is that these animals recognize they're being spotted, and somehow or another, by them getting jacked over and over again, the universal consciousness recognizes this is unfair. This is kind of a tricky situation these things are stupid and they stand out we have to

figure out a way to hide them to keep them in the situation and so what they do is they impart some sort of an ability to blend in with their environment like chameleons or like octopus can you know that it's just some sort of a universal intelligence that recognizes there's an imbalance you know we need this octopus but they're too easy to eat. They're getting jacked left and right. Let's figure out a way to keep them around a little bit more. And so they adjust their superpowers. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, and I find that so. I mean, the other alternative that just at some point an octopus is like, wait a minute, I can turn any color in the world. Well, and even the idea of random mutation. You know, maybe that is how it goes, and maybe the whole thing is programmed by radiation, and maybe random mutations are really what causes evolution, but maybe that's the tool that it uses in order to move towards complexity.

It's moving towards the same thing every time. So to call it just random mutations, it seems to be these random mutations are always good. They're always an advanced version. Well, if they're not, no. They don't succeed. Yes, they don't succeed. So even though it is, yes, it's very simple.

They are random mutations. But look where it's going. It's always going towards more and more complex things. It's fascinating shit, man. When you really think about the idea that we're moving towards something and no one's recognizing it. And it's all happening all the time. And everything you do every day in your life is really just pushing this thing along in a program towards some predetermined goal. Right.

Yeah, the thing that you consider to be whatever it is, it really is part of a bigger picture. And that's a very optimistic way to look at it. And I like that way of looking at it because the alternative is nihilism. That's it, folks. That's the end. That's the mind fuck. That's the mind fuck of life. Is this all just a pattern? Are there patterns upon patterns? Are there infinite possibilities for these patterns? Is every single second a choice that you make that pushes you into a parallel universe of a very close distinction but different?

Was it evolution that farted on her head? Mel on Griffith's head. Was it evolution or a random mutation? We want to thank the podcast. We want to thank the Fleshlight for sponsoring the podcast. If you go to joRogan.net at the beginning of the...

Put some of that D Ant word on because there's some new shit. What is this? That's like Duran Duran. No, this is the

guy that did the song at the opening of the podcast. Are you singing now? No, it's just another song of

his. Who's singing there? Freeland. Play some of that zest. Yeah, throw some D Antwoord on. You got any in there? Check it.

Put I Don't Need You. You got that one? Yeah. I was listening to that. I didn't really like that. Well, I'm not asking you if you like it. Can I say my podcast? I like it.

Yes, please. The Lavender Hour. LavenderHour.com. Listen to our podcast. and where do you get it uh it's on itunes it's on itunes yeah but it's on lavender hour and uh his twitter is duncan trussell t-r-u-s-s-e-l-l and um brian's twitter is redban r-e-d-b-a-n thank you very much for tuning into the podcast thanks to the fleshlight again if you go to JoeRogan.net, you can get 15% off and you can fuck it and it's awesome. There you go. It's right there and it's blue.

But it's not Avatar. It's an alien. Thanks, everybody. And we'll probably be doing another one this week. I'm trying to figure out who's going to do it. It might be Brian Callen. Thanks very much for all the love. Thank you, everybody in England. I had a great fucking time. I'll be at the Galaxy Theater

this Friday night at 8pm with Joey Diaz. No, it's not in Anaheim. It's Santa Ana. Yeah. Did I say that already? Where wind is born. What's that? Where wind is born. Where wind is born? Santa Ana wins. That's where they start? Yep. There you go. Knowledge. And I'll be at Vegas at the

Palms this weekend. Natasha Legere from Last Comic Standing. Come check it out. Where in Vegas? The Palms. The Pal start? Yeah. There you go. Knowledge. And I'll be at Vegas at the Palms this weekend. Natasha Legere from Last Comic Standing. Come check it out. Where in Vegas? The Palms. The Palms? Yeah. What is this? This is Don Barris, the Ding Dong Show.

October 25th.