The Joe Rogan Experience - #5 - John Heffron, Ari Shaffir (Part 2)
Episode Date: January 21, 2010Joe sits down with John Heffron, and Ari Shaffir. ...
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And then he realized that his friends were telling...
Ustream just stopped our recording for some reason.
Alright.
Man, probably.
The fucking man.
Okay, now it's back on again.
The man, ladies and gentlemen.
Refresh your browsers, people.
The man apparently was just fucking our ass.
That's crazy.
Like, it just went off air, and then everything came back on by itself.
Yeah, he took it with his friends because he wanted to be a downer because they were all taking it. Yeah, this is you telling the story. and came back on by itself.
Yeah, he took it with his friends because he wanted to be a downer
because they were all taking it.
Yeah, this is you
telling the story.
And he would smoke.
He was like, fuck it.
But he didn't feel anything.
So he was like, alright.
But then he didn't want to
be the one left out.
So he was like, fuck it,
I'll smoke with you guys.
He would pass it
and he would take some.
And then he realized
he could for the first time
in years and years
he could actually sit there
with his legs and arms
cramping up.
What about Sean Rouse?
Maybe it could help him.
I don't know.
No way that guy does not smoke pot. No? No. Doug doesn't. Doug doesn't smoke weed. You would think that Doug would smoke weed. Stanhope does not like weed. Really? Yeah. He's
done it. I've done mushrooms with Stanhope. We did DMT. Not weed, huh? He'll go to other dimensions.
It is like pot makes him paranoid.
He doesn't like the fact that...
I understand that.
That's the negative side effect of everything for everybody.
Well, I think what the paranoia that pot gives you is really, it's almost like the opposite
of alcohol.
Because alcohol makes you look through a tube.
Alcohol, you're like looking at the world through a, yeah, woohoo, tube.
Sure.
You know, you're not seeing, but marijuana is the opposite.
Marijuana like releases your blinders.
I see it in front of me, Brian.
It went off in about a second. It blipped.
Did it?
Yeah, just so you guys know, it's not me fucking it up.
Ustream's just fucking up right now.
If you can't see Redman, he's actually sticking his cock into the computer.
You can't blame Brian, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't be mean.
This is difficult to figure all this stupid shit out.
Ultimately, I would love to have this on my website, on JoeRogan.net,
but right now I don't think the technology is available.
It's not quite ready.
But this is ideally the best way to do a show.
This is way more fun than doing some show that's on television
that nobody gives a shit about.
We can do whatever the fuck we want.
You don't have to look at it.
I don't want anything from you.
No one's getting paid.
It's just for the move.
Just for fun.
And you have interesting people over and you talk.
Right?
I mean, how many times have you done...
What's the matter, Brian?
They're all blaming me, so I'm going to get my hands up.
You didn't do anything.
Yeah, Brian.
You're going to do it for another quarter of a second.
I ran Brian on this and the Conan situation.
How many times have you done a a talk show and it's like
you prepare for it
it's like a big deal
and then you
you know
you sit down
and you talk to someone
for like seven minutes
and you're like
I didn't even say anything
you know
we didn't even get to
talk about anything
I mean I had a few topics
that kind of got out of the way
a little bit
but barely said anything
and then
and every one of those shows
are set up for that reason
that it's just nothing
you just leave there going
that was nothing
I didn't say anything.
I didn't even...
That was a great appearance.
I said two words. It's like if you're on Chelsea Handler's show.
Yeah.
Those guys on there say like
four or five words. That's it.
And then you're done. Yeah.
And then they're done.
Yeah, it's real weird. And then people go, oh, you were great on the show.
But that's what they want. They want a short attention span.
Bing bang. See this guy real quick. But then people go, oh, you were great on the show. But that's what they want. They want a short attention span, bing bang, see this guy real
quick. But, I mean,
that's the, if you want to go
for like, if you want to go for
like the average, you know, just a shot
in the dark with people, that's what you should give
them. You should give them the shortest,
quickest little things as fast as you can
so they don't lose interest. But at the end of the
day, do you want the people
that lose interest that easy to pay attention to you?
No.
You have to get them
because you're doing a numbers game
because they're selling advertising.
But then again,
I mean, how many times have you seen a YouTube clip
and you start to open it up
and you see nine and a half minutes
and you're like, fuck it.
I don't even want to start.
We're all those people.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but a YouTube clip
is totally different than something like this.
You know, this is like cool
because you could throw this on at work, you know, and you're
doing some boring fucking thing at work.
You could throw this on and watch it while you do it and just, you know, just enjoy a
bunch of people hanging around talking.
I like doing that.
Yeah.
I like watching fucking Soulja Boy.
You know who Soulja Boy is?
Yeah.
I like watching him.
You know why I like watching him?
Why?
Because he's having a good time.
I like watching that girl on the train.
Do you see that video?
The girl on the train
singing,
harshly singing
Soulja Boy
at some old lady.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All black people.
Just not,
that has nothing to do
with the story,
but they all happen
to be black.
Did you see that?
That was the greatest video.
And then somebody
put the subtitles
to understand
what she was saying.
It was so crazy.
I like watching that kid.
You know why?
Because he's like 19 years old
He's worth some fucking insane amount of money
He's got diamonds all over his body
He's tattooed himself
Tattooed his fucking face
Tattooed his neck, his arms, his chest, everything
And every video that I watch
He's talking shit, dancing
And freestyle rapping
Talking about haters Talking about all the girls he's fucking,
talking about how much money he has, and how pretty he is.
I enjoy the fuck out of it.
I really do.
To me, it's entertaining as shit, man.
I wish there was some type of program that would follow your brain,
so you can look at everything you searched in one evening.
Oh, that's next, dude.
That's going to be the next Twitter.
The next Twitter is going to be able to show people what you're thinking and watching. Yeah, that's next, dude. That's going to be the next Twitter. The next Twitter is, you're going to be able to show people
what you're thinking and watching.
Yeah. Well, you could search.
Well, I somehow went from,
I started looking up
fights or something on YouTube, and then I found
the fight scene from the movie
Bodyguard, from way back in the 80s.
Somehow my brain got from there
to where I was watching
a Riding Dirty,
the song all
cut to Star Trek Wrath of Khan.
So it was all clipped.
Khan was riding dirty.
I don't know how my brain even
got there.
You're right.
I want to watch this clip
of Conan said something funny to Leno.
And then you clip that and the next thing you know I'm on
Soldier Boy.
And you had a wonderful time though. I'm on Soldier Boy and you have a wonderful time
I go on YouTube rides
and I go on porn rides too
where you know
you're going to start out normal
and next thing you know
it's big dicks
and Asians blowjobs
you get real specific
yeah
and then you're typing stuff
that's what
it's wrecked my porn
go back to your first video
you watched that night
it's just a girl with big tits
blowing somebody
that's kind of hot
and then how did I get to the next one girls that work at Kinko's that...
Laugh in their face.
Horrifying ass fucking.
That's really kind of one of the craziest things about porn on the internet.
You can just...
Anybody from their computer directly goes to it.
There's no stopping it.
You can go right to a dick going in an asshole.
You don't have to pay.
You don't have to subscribe. I think that's what desensitized people to it so much in an asshole. You don't have to pay. You don't have to subscribe.
I think that's what desensitized people do so much in the last few years.
Well, they say girls are taken in the ass all the time now.
Well, I saw on one of the porn sites,
they had like a comments section underneath the thing.
So where people are complaining about,
oh, that girl looks beat on, that girl.
And maybe because I'm older,
like whatever happened to just being excited you're seeing porn?
Now we're so desensitized,
I'm going to judge that chick.
She's not...
Everybody always judges chicks. These are professional
hot chicks.
Oh my god, they're having sex!
We can see it!
Now I'm going to judge them.
Even back in the 80s, I had my favorites.
Yeah, yeah.
Misty Rain.
I can't do professional porn anymore.
I have to have it amateur.
I have to have it on a cell phone.
I have to have it fake.
If I see a flashbulb go off in the room,
I'm like, fuck this.
I like the flashbulbs.
It simulates you.
You're feeling like this is really
two people that like each other.
Or just are having real sex.
I mean, look at these porn sites.
The chick's just like
looking at her watch.
There's a porn site
for people who like each other.
Her pussy's just numb.
Yeah.
Her pussy's just beat the fuck up.
Yeah.
I wouldn't...
There's a whole
old genre of porn
that's...
Couples porn.
People like each other
and it's not all, oh yeah, yeah, we like that. It's a little bit... of porn that's... Couples porn. People like each other and it's not all,
oh yeah, yeah,
we like that.
It's a little bit...
No, I don't want that.
The girls are hot.
I don't want girls to be fucked.
I just want to know
that they're getting fucked.
Are you a voyeur, Brian?
What?
Generally?
Are you looking for a voyeur?
No, not really.
I just want to know
like it's real.
Yeah, it's going on.
She's fucking it.
It's amazing
how many girls
are getting spit on
and slapped in the face.
It gets...
There's a lot of that, man. Yeah. I love it. You like that? You do? I like doing it. I don't like how many girls are getting spit on and slapped in the face. There's a lot of that, man.
I love it.
You like that?
You do?
I like doing it.
I don't like watching it.
Yeah, I don't like bitches.
I found it on San Diego.
I didn't expect to love it, but I fucking loved it.
Tell the story, please.
She was like, hit me.
I was like, all right.
She goes, come on, hit me.
And I was like, all right.
And by the end, I was fucking boom with a follow through on the backhand.
Oh, my God.
Like hard.
And she was into it.
It was so fucking awesome. How bad did you hurt her face? Fuck her face she took it i don't know did you believe didn't open
her up oh my god i wouldn't be paranoid that day that's what i would think too that the girl would
then go oh thanks yeah this guy just uh knocked me around and and you gotta think of a chick so
crazy she wants you to beat her up she could easily yeah yeah and then what are you gonna
say she wanted i mean i'm like also you should look at her ass because that is fucking ready crazy she wants you to beat her up. She could easily go to the police. Yeah, and then what are you going to say? She wanted?
I'm like, also you should look at her ass
because that is fucking red.
Rape is a horrible, terrible thing.
But so is
pretending you've been raped.
How many people have heard stories about
a girl gets mad at a guy and just decides
to tell people that he raped her?
I had a friend who worked
he played for the Detroit Lions when I was in Detroit
and that happened to him.
It was with two girls
back at his place.
Super nice guy.
The one girl jokingly said,
you know what we could do
is we could say that you raped us
and how much money would we get?
And they were like,
she said it as a joke.
So immediately said,
let's go.
Knocked on his neighbor's door
and said,
hey, whatever.
Meet my two friends.
So he'd have one other person to see their condition
when they left.
So he couldn't then make up this story.
Then I had another famous friend.
Every time he'd hook up with a girl in a room,
he was way famous.
He'd go to the front desk girl.
He'd walk out that girl.
Whoever was there, he would stop
so that girl would talk to that person
so there's one other
person that see she didn't run out all disheveled like what just happened to me just as a backup
because you honestly just want to go to bed like see you later right yeah but you don't know that
girl so you always have to think you know to a lot i mean to a lot of people people that are like
famous like some famous rock star or something like that yeah that person is like they're it's so unfair their situation it's so unfair how much more
they have yeah how much more money yeah how much better their life is it's so
unfair that people feel like you owe them something like you got an unfair
amount so they're trying to take from you so there's a lot of people don't
even feel bad about like fake lawsuits they don't even feel bad yeah they're
like oh the rich after which man fuck the rich yeah and I had you make that money
someone got fucked over yeah or you just run over my foot the other day and they
like play back the video he didn't get hit by the car and he was just trying
hey couldn't the paparazzi's ran I always think of like have some kind of
thing we hit one button and you zap all the electronic computers
that are around you.
Yeah.
They have this spray.
They have this spray.
You know what?
The paparazzis, it's the same thing.
They're just a bunch of people
that are making a living
doing something negative.
And they don't need to do that.
They can do something else.
But it's also sort of negative
because a lot of times
they call those people
and say, I'll be at the Ivy.
Come meet me out front.
Right.
And go after them. There's a lot of people that like it. But when, I'll be at the Ivy. Come meet me out front. Right, and go after them.
There's a lot of people
that like it,
but when you're like
chasing someone
and someone's all upset with you
like they got their kids
or something,
like Dr. Drew.
By the way,
we were talking about Dr. Drew.
I think his stance on pot
is retarded,
but he's a really nice guy.
I've done his show,
the Loveline show,
and I've met him a bunch of times.
He's a really cool guy,
and he told me
that he was in Hawaii
and the fucking paparazzi
were taking pictures
of his kids.
Him and his kids.
Because a kiss
is worth something?
Well, it was worth
something.
They make money, man.
If you get a juicy
picture, you can
make some mad
loot.
How about that
picture of John
Travolta kissing
that dude?
Somebody got
paid for that.
How bad was
the kiss?
I saw one of
the lips.
When you freeze frame a kiss, it'll never look like a casual kiss.
It's awesome.
I love how John Travolta rocks a fabulous wig.
Yeah, man.
In some pictures, he's balding.
In other pictures, he's got the best head of hair ever.
It's awesome.
The TMZ, I saw one of the guys who works on TMZ, one of the guys.
We saw so-and-so at the airport
and I wanted to go up them so bad with the camera just stick it in his face and ask some dumb
questions and I probably could have sold that back to TMZ I wanted to do is a sketch that will do it
just go fucking or the guy that does TMZ can he handle that 15-minute show without taking a drink
of water because he has like a sippy cup that he just there's no way that's water it's evil because those guys are making fun
of people that are on TV yet every one of them wants to be so famous and is
enjoying all the fame they're getting from being on the show but but that's
legitimate too because some people like the way they're bitchy like they wish
they could be that bitchy and they like watch them it's like the form of
entertainment a lot of what the Chelsea Handler shows to what shit on people we wish we could work with. Yes
Yeah, exactly, but you know what there's a place for that too
It's the same thing is like rich people that get upset at poor people. It's like people were not famous
They like fuck them pick out go after Tiger Woods, you know, go find him
He's got a billion dollars fuck him like some woman actually said this on the Jimmy Kimmel show.
She was running a website where people could find people's houses.
No, no, no.
You would say where the celebrity is at any given moment.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Jimmy Kimmel was like, don't you understand that there's stalkers and this could be dangerous?
And she goes, well, I'm sure that they sleep well on, you know, all their money.
Like,
on a bed full of money.
And it's like,
really?
Like,
that's how you look at it?
Like,
you're willing to put people,
yeah,
put people,
like,
especially young girls,
like,
you know how some dudes get fucking really nutty
about young girls?
Like,
they get crazy.
Like,
that one girl that got shot,
it was like,
when I first came to Hollywood,
some girl got shot.
It was on a TV show.
By a stalker. Yeah. People don't understand how, how came to Hollywood. Some girl got shot. It was on a teen show.
People don't understand how she was really pretty.
She was like a childhood, not childhood star,
but like 22 year old star.
She became famous when she was young
and some dude just got obsessed with her,
found out where she lived. She opened the door,
he shot her in the chest.
People don't understand how scary stalkers are.
When I used to do radio in Detroit,
this girl would send
me 15, 16 page letters,
not one piece of white
left on the paper.
So it was written
sideways anyway
about I had fun
going out with you,
looking for houses,
shit that never happened,
you know.
Right.
I heard about your
secret messages,
da da da,
and then she went away
and then she came back
and every time I'd be in Detroit,
she would leave these letters
when your wife's gone
and it's just us.
You know, crazy stuff.
So I went to go get
a restraining order against her
because she was showing up
at my shows
and would find out
where I would be
and the judge wouldn't...
Did you fuck her?
No, no, no.
Good gosh, no.
But it was...
Blood done?
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Oh, well, yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally. I just wanted to know. No, no. I. Good gosh, no. But it was... Nothing? Nothing, nothing, nothing. I think Greg was like, oh, well, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
I just wanted to know.
No, no.
I was trying to figure out how far back was this.
Yeah, yeah, no.
How many years ago was this?
It was...
It's been about 10, 15 years.
And the guy wouldn't...
The judge would not give up?
What?
He wanted to hear her side of the story.
Now, I had a stack of papers this big of her saying...
She came to the Raiders station I worked at with some of my stuff.
She goes, John left this.
It was an empty can of tuna fish.
Whoa.
Junk mail and baby shoes.
Whoa.
So she got to your house?
Well, no.
This was from her place, I guess.
And then I had stacks of letters saying, I hear the secret messages that you're giving me.
I will respond to them. When say this it means this but when you go to file a
restraining order the judge you get less than a paragraph to write why you don't
get to hand in any of the psycho stuff so then and then he saw that and then
the guy who did it for me goes he's a dude he probably thinks you're a pussy
that you can't handle. The judge?
No.
Because I'm a guy and I have this girl stalker.
The judge thinks that?
Yeah, it's like you're a pussy.
You're a guy.
Handle the girl.
Don't bring us involved was his attitude.
So I couldn't find him. That was the judge's attitude?
That's what the guy before said.
And you know what?
That was that long ago?
That was before that chick got murdered.
No, this.
I tried doing this a couple years ago.
But it doesn't, a year ago, but it doesn't apply to California.
So I go through all this work, get it done in Michigan,
then come out to California, doesn't mean anything.
You got to refile one in California.
She flies to Texas to see you, doesn't matter.
Now you have to file one in Texas.
Really?
So I could imagine.
Let's not put this information on the internet.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey,
you know Brittany Murphy,
the actress that just died?
Yeah.
Her mom and her husband has been doing a tour
to all the talk shows
and I got to catch it today
on the Today Show.
Yeah.
It's how fucked up.
Your daughter just died
and they're fucking,
they're just sitting there
like for no reason,
not promoting anything.
They weren't trying to
like do anything
but just like
I've seen them on
like four different talk shows
in the last like week.
It's weird
but they do it for money
and they do it just
because they like
the people attention
or whatever
or say something
about their daughter.
The worst is like
and coming up
we have Brittany Murphy's mom
and Brittany Murphy's mom
just sitting there
and she knows
the camera's on
and she goes
oh.
And it was
even though it's been
four weeks
she's not crying randomly
no no no
you find it on
Hulu
or whatever
and it is
disturbing to watch
like it was so gross
and the husband
was so
what was the accusation
what is the
we still don't know
well what's the
isn't there like a
current gossip
about it
the worst thing
it was drugs
but then they said
I think she said drugs.
So it wasn't
like diabetes
or something like that
was also involved.
I think some shit
happened when she was young.
I don't think it was
a weird situation at all.
Really?
It just came up
she's showering
and then
they're talking about
heroin and all that shit
that's so bullshit.
They still don't know yet
but that's kind of weird
that they still know.
Well isn't it kind of weird
but isn't it kind of weird
that the husband
did want an autopsy?
Yes.
I think that's very fucking weird.
Man, if a 30-year-old person dies, you want to know what the fuck happened.
They're not Jewish, are they?
He doesn't look Jewish.
Why?
It's against the religion.
It's against the religion?
Yeah, but he also eat bacon.
What?
What happens if you murder a Jew, though?
That's fucking crazy.
That makes it easy to murder you guys.
No, no, no.
Shit. No, no, no. You're misunderstanding. You asked if you haven a Jew, though? That's fucking crazy. That makes it easy to murder you guys. No, no, no. Shit.
No, no, no.
You're misunderstanding.
You actually haven't thought this out.
We're not going to get autopsies on our bodies.
We can get them on your bodies.
Yeah, but you.
You're dead.
But if I just poison you, you're dead.
The cops can't give you an autopsy.
Because we just poisoned that, but now they're not going to know.
And you've been drinking it.
What's the marks around his neck?
Suicide.
He rear naked choked himself to death.
Yeah, it was it.
That's the story.
I'm sticking to it.
Yeah, no autopsies. I think there are certain
situations where they say if
they're afraid it might be like a
congenitive, is that a word?
Heart disease where the kids should know they should get treated for it. Congenital, I think. Congen like a congenitive, is that a word? Heart disease, where the kids should know
if they should get treated for it.
Congenital, I think.
Then they'll allow it.
I don't know.
But they still allow it.
They still allow it for that,
but not just randomly to figure out
what the cause of death is.
They're like, he's dead.
Yeah, but any time a young actress dies
and there's medication around,
there's a lot of money involved,
they will automatically do it.
No matter what.
Whatever somebody says, don't. Or one or two questions. If I die matter what whatever somebody says don't yeah don't waste the money yeah he will come on
this is depressing change the topic hey do you guys like cats what do you think
about Oprah she's so generous yeah no I don't paparazzi don't give a shit about
me somebody asked me if the paparazzi chase't give a shit about me. Somebody asked me if paparazzi chased me.
They would make zero dollars off my pictures.
There's no benefit in taking pictures of me.
You have to stay just under that level of fame.
You have to stay in the level of fame where nobody gives a fuck.
So you can still work and you don't have to worry about your bills
and you can go out to dinner, but you don't want to get crazy.
The best, I was with Renazisi at that Vince Vaughn Wild West comedy tour,
like,
premiere,
and then there's a party
like across the street
at some hip club,
whatever,
in Hollywood,
and so we leave
and all the popular
out there waiting
for Vince Vaughn
and Justin Long and stuff,
and Renazisi's like,
beat it,
you degenerates,
you fucking piece of shit,
you know,
he's like giving it to him,
and they were like,
hey,
the guy from Punks,
and he goes,
oh,
hey,
yeah,
that's me,
everybody,
how are ya?
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah, that's me, everybody. How are you? Ah!
Oh, no.
He cracked.
That's funny.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, you know, you can't go to places like, you know who's the best at staying out of that shit?
In controversial life, if you consider him, Mark Wahlberg.
That guy's never in the tabloids.
He's a giant movie star.
Yeah, you don't see that guy. He stars in gigantic blockbuster movies, and yet he's never in the tabloids he's a giant movie star yeah he stars in gigantic blockbuster movies and yet he's never in the tabloids that's amazing you
know who else and he never even does interviews Nicholson yeah he's just
away from everything well they always they would always catch him doing
something creepy you know that shirt off at some beach yeah looking like he's
bloated yeah he's still like he's bloated and fucking weird.
He's still, like, in his 70s,
rocking it with 20-year-old chicks.
It's awesome. It's really crazy.
Nicholson, like, he'll, like, you know,
they did some interview with him real recently where he was
talking about the different dates he goes on
and that, you know, one night he'll go out with a woman
that's in her 60s and the next night it's a girl
that's in her 20s. Yeah.
You know? I mean, just, you know, he was talking about it sexually.
He was talking about friends, you know, like his acquaintances, that he has a very varied
life.
But, you know, you've got to appreciate that.
Yeah.
Dude's getting 20-year-olds and he's fucking 70.
That's how badass he is.
That's pretty crazy, right?
He's defying nature with his fame and with his ability to pretend.
It overcomes the natural order of and with his ability to pretend it
overcomes the natural order his ability to pretend and was not he have he should
be John in a natural world he's done with sex like that's not yeah well
especially when the companion his age especially if there was no Viagra yeah
you know I mean if there's no Viagra that would take a lot of dudes out of
the game take a lot of dudes out of the game. Take a lot of dudes out of the game.
A lot of old rich dudes.
They're like, what's the fucking point?
You know?
But right now, they can...
You know, Brian Holtzman had to joke about that.
He goes, no, I like that.
Because now, these young whores have to fuck these old men.
And he goes, and that sperm is like paint that's been in their basement for like a year.
You know that paint where...
It's not a
fresh product ladies and gentlemen he's hilarious it's not quite color the color you picked out
he's one of those dudes this there's a few dudes that over the course of uh doing stand-up comedy
that i've i've always gone how the fuck did that guy not make it?
He's one of them, right?
Yeah.
He's so good.
So funny.
Brian Holtzman,
if you're ever at the comedy store in LA,
that's where Brian,
where he works out.
If you call the comedy store,
call the comedy store
and ask when Brian Holtzman
is going to be up.
Especially if something
goes down in the news.
Like, I guarantee you
he's got some fucked up
five minutes on
Haiti right now
you know don't
want to laugh at
you're like oh no
but you laugh at
anyway I had always
heard about he did
this thing on OJ
but it was like
amazing I mean he
only did it one time
he tried to do it
again it wasn't
quite as good just
an awesome set about
that and then 9-11
happened and Mitzi
wouldn't put him on
because we were closed I guess happened Tuesday we were closed Tuesday Wednesday Thursday just no and then 9-11 happened and Mitzi wouldn't put him on because we were closed
I guess it happened Tuesday
we were closed Tuesday
Wednesday Thursday
and then we opened up
Friday Saturday
and she knew that
he would get up
and talk about it
so she made the talent coordinator
call him and said
listen we can't put you on
I'm sorry
but it's just
she doesn't want to put you on
he's one of those guys
that would take the opinion
most fucked up
by default
he would automatically
go after the victims
and, you know, what did you do wrong?
Why were you in that building?
What were you doing?
Who were you fucking in the ass in that building?
It's just like
his take on it would be so fucked up.
He went on Sunday, though, because it was
open night, and he did about
50 to 55 minutes
and it was maybe
one of the best
sets I've ever seen.
Stan Hope was there watching
and Stan Hope said
I disagree with 95% of this
but it's so fucking
goddamn good.
Because he's so crazy.
His stance was
fuck the cops.
He goes,
but they're not heroes now.
Why?
Because they did their job
one time.
He goes,
if I was one of the people
jumping out of the building
I'd wait until a fucking
cop was below me
so I could take him out too.
This was on 9-15, you know, when everyone's
like, what did the crowds do when they
see this guy? I don't remember.
I can read that. You remember when that chick drowned
her kids? Yeah.
Holtzman goes on stage like
three days after this chick drowned her kids. He goes,
ladies and gentlemen, I heard those were bad
kids. I heard they never put
their blocks away. They sat that close to the
TV. They were always spilling their fucking milk.
Those kids will not be missed.
And I went, oh my god.
People all are like, too sad. I heard there were bad
kids. That's one of the
most brutal and funny jokes.
It's one of people's brains in comedy is geared to, like,
because in my brain, just, you know, it's weird how
you fall into whatever style of comedy.
Like, I would never even think
about it. To go that way yeah yeah
well his all right that's what he's on things but meanwhile he's really friendly like if you talk to
him like off stage like he's not a dark guy at all he's very nice he used to always go get me
coke when i was working the cover booth like my dude who's one cold classic from the back and i
was like thanks man i need to go back and bring it, and bring it back. I miss that dude. He's in the factory sometimes, too.
Is he?
Yeah.
I gotta see him sometime.
I gotta find out when he's playing and go perform again.
He was always so cool.
So nice.
He is at the factory sometimes.
He was always such a nice guy.
There was one time when I got banned, where Pauly banned me for like a weekend.
And Holtzman was so nice about it.
What did he say about it?
Paulie banned me for a weekend
because I got mad at him.
Because you got mad at him?
Yeah.
Him and Dean tried to
corner me about something.
And I told him he was a fucking idiot
and that he doesn't appreciate the comedians,
that I'm not working for him.
It's when,
right after
the Minding the Store came out.
It was like,
he all of a sudden was running the comedy It was like he all of a sudden
was running the comedy store.
It was all of a sudden,
it wasn't like just a TV show anymore.
Now, because the comedy store
we've always done for free.
Not only did I work there for free,
but I donated all that.
When they were giving me checks,
they gave me thousands of dollars
worth of checks and I never cashed them
because I always knew
they were hurting for cash.
So when it came time to do their taxes, i had to donate all that money back to them and i paid for the sound system i mean i treated that place like it was our
place you know it was a place for for comics the mics were cutting out and that sound that sounds
like crackly and rogan bought it's like fuck it just we gotta fix this i got top of the line shit
i went and got the top of the line CD recorder
so dudes could make
CDs
and I put it all in there
out of my own money
because
just for love of the club
and then all of a sudden
Paulie's running it
I'm like man
I ain't working for free
for you
you know
I'll do it all for your mom
but for you
no
huge battle now
about who gets the store
I think he won
I think Paulie won
yeah I think his brother gave up think Paulie won. Yeah.
I think his brother gave up.
That's what I heard.
Oh, his brother.
Out of all the years
I've lived here,
I think I've been in there
one time.
Really?
Wow, that's so great.
I've been in that bar area
just hanging.
I went with some comic,
but I don't think
I've ever been on stage there.
Kyle Seas walked by yesterday
and he was like,
I think I've been here
four times in 10 years.
I've never.
It's so crazy not to go there.
My whole career has never really been performing in Los Angeles.
That's what he was saying.
Yeah, but you've done sets of the improv.
I've seen you at the improv.
Yeah, the improv.
And then I think I'm banned from the Laugh Factory.
What'd you do?
We were talking about guns and the dude who owns it is a real pacifist.
Jamie banned you for talking about guns?
Yeah, I was on for the next week
and then I got called
and said no.
You got called?
They didn't just
knock you out of your spot?
No, I called
whoever,
so tomorrow was so good?
Yeah, no,
I got asked.
Because you talk about guns.
Not on stage.
It was offstage conversation
and I said I'm going
to shoot it
and then he was like,
oh wait,
you have guns?
That means you want
to kill people.
I'm like, no, I enjoy... Bobby, you have guns? That means you want to kill people. I'm like no I enjoy
Bobby you have guns? Yeah I enjoy
shooting them but if they came in my house then
I'd kill them. Listen Jamie quit worrying about
what comics have in their house and
worry more about introducing little kids to Michael Jackson.
Oh my god.
It's like that's a way bigger problem
than having a locked gun
in his house. He's not joking
around. He's not joking around. Jamie Long having a locked gun in his house. He's not joking around.
He's not joking around.
Jamie was
introducing these
children that are
on the Make-A-Wish
Foundation.
Right?
Was it Make-A-Wish
or something like
that?
Yeah, something
like that.
Kids are sick.
He was introducing
them to Michael
Jackson.
You say
introducing.
I say pimping.
What's the
difference?
Buddy.
Buddy.
He's not pimping.
He's a genius,
buddy.
He doesn't want
to fuck the ass.
I don't think that...
No, he didn't do anything on purpose.
I don't think Michael Jackson fucked those kids.
Because I think, where are all the bodies?
There would be not just one kid he fucked.
He'd be fucking hundreds of kids.
I think he probably fucked eight to ten.
I don't think he did.
I think it's much more likely...
We talked about this before, right?
Yeah.
I think it's much more likely that we talked about this before, right? I think it's much more likely that
he's just completely fucked up
and was molested when he was a kid
and abused and he grew up in the public eye
and he grew up as a baby
and being famous.
He wanted to go back to his era.
I believe in the power
of the huge rumors.
What about the terrible in the ass?
Do you believe that one?
I'm going to just because of that theory. What it everybody says to points on either gay Mikey from life's era because he saw
him without makeup yeah not little rumors if you're tired got his name
because that's some retard that lives down the block from you made that one
yeah everybody didn't even leave your fucking name but the rich
gear gerbil rumor that move rumor traveled the whole country that's a crazy rumor kurt
metzger told me he asked uh whatever kind of doctor that is he goes there's never been any
recorded documentation of any animal up someone's butt but you know something that's actually you
can go to the internet you see eels coming out of girls' assholes.
Just because... How do you even say that?
That guy's an idiot.
That guy's either an idiot or still an AOL.
He's going through net nanny.
You're missing the good sights, son.
You ain't never seen the eels
come out of that girl's butthole?
That was really weird. i just kept coming out
oh i kept thinking it was the same one that would be like octopuses up their assholes yeah man
there's there's some shit going into people's bodies if you can think of it did you see the
video of the dude who uh has been shooting silicone into his dick for six years oh no
see that yeah no but how delicious does his dick look?
His dick looks like a...
Delicious.
Some dude on Twitter, I don't remember your name, I apologize, but some dude on Twitter
said it looked like a shaved dead rabbit.
And it does.
You've got to see it.
I'll throw the link up for you guys, and we're going to watch it right now, but I'll throw
the link up so that you guys can see it too. Onosh 2.0 it's a show on e where they talk about
internet videos they played it they couldn't show their video they just
showed the audience's reaction so they're all just sitting there so they
all them just ball faces that's funny I can't find it it must have been from a
couple days ago I tweet too much.
We're on two hours right now, Joe just emailed.
So what, man?
We're having a party here.
We're not really on two hours.
We didn't start on time.
It's only four o'clock right now, Brian.
Oh, four o'clock.
You fucking faker.
You're saying it like you counted the time.
We're on two hours, 15 minutes. I just looked at four or five and was like,
that's about two hours.
You took a wild shot at that, son. Sorry, I wasn't completely accurate with the minutes. We're on two hours, 15 minutes. I just looked at four or five and was like, that's about two hours. You took a wild
shot at that. Sorry, I wasn't completely accurate
with the minutes. Shut up!
Okay, I'm trying to find this
dead rabbit. How's Tonka, Brian?
I renamed him.
It's Techie now. Techie?
You renamed him? You can't call your cat Techie.
It was Tommy one day, and then
I... Who's this?
Yeah, I agree with Ari. Names mean things. You can't call your cat Jack Harbour, dude. It was Tom one day and then I... Was it? His new cat?
Yeah, I agree with Ari.
That's what... Names mean things.
I think that it does.
In mysticism,
they always say,
I don't believe in it,
but they always say,
you don't fuck with someone's name.
Yeah.
It was one day
he was named Tomka.
So, whatever.
You don't want to change
the name of your cat.
The cat has already
destroyed a keyboard.
Why?
A Logitech keyboard.
He hates anything technology.
If he knows...
Technology.
He hates a keyboard.
I hate technology.
He went up to my keyboard.
I started using my keyboard.
He like ran in.
He was like,
what's that noise?
He jumps up
and just starts taking his claws
and ripping keys off of it.
I'm like, ah!
If I use my camera
and if I turn on a camera,
he sees the camera
from across the room,
charges me,
and tries to grab the camera.
I have like videos of him doing this. Are you considering giving it back to to adoption agency. He's a kitten. Yeah, that's what they do
But it's just what's reincarnation. Maybe that person was just like it's killed by technology. Yeah, you know how she killed him
So he's like your head
This is a part of Ghost Dad 2
Maybe this is made out of technology
nice normal guy haircut today brian by the way what this is the most normal dude i've ever seen
your hair out of the show all right here's the i just put it up online i just put it up online so
you guys i twittered it the address of the dude who is injecting silicone into his dick for six
years and we're gonna watch it right now because it is that fucked up.
It is something that you need.
I just clicked on it right now,
so it's loading up right now.
Check this shit out.
What's that music?
What's the music?
That's part of it.
That's part of it.
iTunes. Damn, that's been a part of it. Post-publicity. Yeah, like... iTunes!
Damn, that's some gay-ass music you got there.
Yeah, I'm watching your website. We're in the back of your website.
Post-publicity.
Post-publicity.
We're getting feedback on the noise, too.
What the fuck could that be?
YouTube, right there.
Man.
We're getting feedback on the noise, too.
Facebook? YouTube, right there. It's the worst when you have 27 like tabs open up and you're like, that's so fucking
annoying.
What is that?
You have to find it.
Oh, I've been having one of these things.
That's the guy's balls.
That's so fucking annoying.
What is that?
Okay, let's see it here.
Here we go.
Oh, that's the guy's balls.
That's so fucking annoying. What is that? Okay, let's see it. Oh, look at that. This is so fucking annoying. okay
the underwear
convention
so that's all that's issue why would you want to do this
or do you want to back up
won't make it so
would you like to name it though?
Oh it's real cocky. It's funny. I can't watch. Look at that.
Oh my god.
He's been injecting silicone
into his dick for six years. Can it get hard?
No. Is that all head on top?
Yep. Is that all head?
Look at it.
Would you like to hold it
you like it
look at him is weird that's a weird laugh
yeah yeah but how weird could it be he's
ejecting silicone into his fucking yeah
I'm normal I mean look at that that's
insane I can't watch six years of
injecting silicon of left we're gonna
have a conversation because I'm just
here what this is saying?
Six years, he's unable to have sex.
Sometimes I see a really young guy and I think,
I'd like to fuck his ass.
I was good.
Oh, he's straight?
The pleasure and the adventure
and the experience that I've gotten from this
is way, way, way better than
the, whatever, 15 minutes of pleasure that I would get.
What an experience.
What has he gotten experience?
Just people seeing his balls and his dick.
I could no longer stand up to pee because it would just kind of go everywhere.
It was difficult to control.
And so I started to learn, okay, I have to sit down.
But you know what?
I'll tell you about some other adjustments in a second.
All of these adjustments, though, they just add to the excitement for me
because it's just another reminder and it's part of the odyssey of all of this.
So I was sitting down to pee for a long time.
Well, then the size got to be that when I would sit down, I'd get wet.
It would get dunked into the water in a lot of toilets,
including my own here.
And so I would have to sort of squat over the ball, you know.
I think that just the fact that people look at me
and either wonder what's going on, what is that?
You know, the basic questions that people ask. Can you still
have an orgasm? Things like that. I'm getting people to think and I'm challenging their
ideas of what a penis should look like, what a penis should function. but yours is the only penis that does that I am challenging
he's giving a challenge are you challenging brain so you're not thinking
to down the gauntlet bitch yeah this is the crazy point so many No. Would you like to name it, though? I mean, this guy's, like, so happy to be pulling out his dick.
Look at this.
It's touching. It's beautiful.
Look at that.
It's not even pornographic.
It doesn't even really look like a penis in any way.
It really looks like a basketball.
The underwear I'm wearing.
I challenge you. It's touching.
He's challenging your perceptions, Ari.
What the fuck?
Let's go fuck a horse. I'm getting tired.
How nutty is that dude?
There's other ways you can challenge people to think.
Yeah. Maybe, you know...
What is that? When dudes, like,
tattoo their dicks and put barbells through them.
What's going on there?
I think presentation.
Presentation.
Presentation!
Like a silver platter
With a cock with a spur through it
But it still works
And there's plenty of girls that are into that
Is there?
Ladies, let's take a little Twitter poll
How many girls are really into dudes with like
Tattoos and barbells on their dicks
Same shit with girls
Put that barbell on their vaginas
You like that?
And if you say yes
How smelly is your pussy?
That makes me sad
The barbell on the That makes me sad.
The barbell in the pussy makes me sad.
I don't really like it,
but I'm not bad against it.
Is there a single girl
that ever has gotten
a barbell in the pussy
that's not a slut?
Nothing's anything wrong
with sluts.
I don't say slut
in any negative way.
I mean a girl
that's down to party.
I'll say that instead.
I mean,
there's no prudes
that get their clit pierced.
No.
You get your clit pierced no you get your clit pierced
you're sending a fucking
very very clear message
yeah
cause you can't ever say
I don't really do this
and the guy would go
well you're
you have a license
yeah you clearly do
you have a license plate
yeah
you have a
that right there says
you're in
you do
you feel like your vagina
will be so public
yeah that you need to
dress it up a little bit
apparently someone
saying that's from a
documentary on dicks
this uh the guy with
the fucked up dick
it's from a
documentary
that'd be a good one
to watch take Viagra
and try to knock it
on erection the entire
time you watch that
documentary
because every time it
moves they're like no
no and just punch
yourself
yeah that would be
funny if you gave
guys you got yeah there's be funny if you gave guys...
You got...
Yeah, there's something there.
If you gave guys
like a really high dose
of Viagra
and then you made them
watch gay porn
and...
You would have to get bonus.
There's no way you wouldn't.
You had girls touching them.
You had girls?
Girls touching them?
There weren't a lot of socket.
Dude was massaging your back.
Oh!
That would be way better.
Guys massaging your back.
They give you Viagra
and ecstasy and they see if you get hard. Yeah, you your back. They give you Viagra and ecstasy.
Let me see if you get hard.
Yeah, you can't.
The first guy there,
you would definitely get hard.
I mean,
there'd be no question.
Oh, so sad.
Challenge match.
Yeah.
Yeah,
that would be a funny,
I mean,
we did that.
Or just find somebody
who's really,
there's no way
them gays
are going to get married.
I don't want that, you know know those that's not right okay yeah
just take one have some guy just blowing in your ear and see what I just have
some really soft boy who smells pretty rubbing your back over here got oils and the feminine voice like yeah just getting hard just
whispering you know truck drivers have sore backs okay we'll fix you up. We'll fix you up.
No worries.
I heard Bobby Kelly talking about this on Tuesday
about, like,
why that was even an insult.
Why faggots even that bad.
You're like,
they've never done anything to me.
Why is that, like,
you're like,
no, I'm not.
I'll fight you to prove
that I'm not a gay.
He was like,
what?
What is the difference?
But, like, yeah,
if you get a little thing
when some guy's touching you,
it's like,
whatever.
Who cares?
I don't like when dudes touch me
because if dudes are thinking
about fucking me,
I know how I am
when I think about fucking girls
and I don't want anybody
thinking about me like that.
You know,
if you want to fuck somebody,
you're like,
you're into them.
You're going after them.
Yeah.
Nice attention.
A dude doing that to you
doesn't want to listen
to the fact that you're straight.
You're like,
hey, I don't like that.
Yeah.
And then he keeps going after you.
That's like disturbing.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean,
the worst time I've ever tried
to go after a chick.
Yeah.
The most clumsy in your history.
Could you imagine someone
doing that to you?
A guy doing that to you?
Yeah.
Like you're drunk and stupid.
Imagine that dude doing that to you.
You'd feel so uncomfortable
and gross and negative.
Get me away.
I don't want to get raped.
My gay friend in college
used to always do that.
Did he creep up dudes?
He would get
aggressively homosexual.
When guys get drunk,
they get crazy.
If I was kissing
another one of our friends,
he's like,
what do you have me?
I don't kiss.
He was like,
alright Andrew,
calm down.
There was a comic
that did that.
What was that guy's name?
Jason something or another?
He was really flamboyant.
Yeah.
Really flamboyantly gay
and he would get aggressive. He was a cunt. And we were. Really flamboyantly gay and he would get aggressive.
He was a cunt.
And we were all in Montreal.
There was like
four or five of us.
I don't remember
who it was talking to.
I think Bobby Slayton
I think was one of them.
But he came over
and it was like
the end of the night
and he was like,
you know,
I'm sucking someone's dick
because it's going to be yours.
And I'm like,
hey man,
get the fuck out of here.
You should find a gay dude
for this.
Yeah.
Well,
you're really working to be harder. Straight dudes, I mean, think the fuck out of here. You should find a gay dude for this. Yeah, well, you're really working hard.
I mean, think about how hard it is for a straight guy to get laid. And then think about how hard it is for a gay guy to get laid.
Like, their numbers are low.
Yeah, but such a higher percentage when you find their numbers.
Yeah, if you go to, like, you know, Boys Town or something,
you go to Santa Monica Boulevard, yeah, you're going to get a lot there.
But if you're in, like, Thousand Oaks get a lot there, but if you're in like Thousand Oaks
looking for gay sex,
that's tough action.
You know?
You've got to find them.
You've got to go to church.
Yeah.
Find them in the stone.
You've got to do something.
You've got to figure out...
It's cold.
You've got to pound on walls.
I saw this thing in the army
in the 40s and 50s and 60s
where people who grew up
in small towns
had never seen...
They just thought
they were weird for these feelings,
but they didn't know. The ones who grew up in New York and L.A., obviously they knew about gays. So the ones people grew up in small towns had never seen they just thought they were weird feelings they didn't know the ones who grew up in New York and I like
obviously I knew about gay so much and then they go to the army all of a sudden
they find other gays and they find each other oh well in the army apparently
that's like a real problem especially in the Navy when dudes are on boats there
was a dude that we knew that was going away to the Navy his brother little
brother was going away the Navy we're all sitting around eating with him.
And just as a joke, I said, man, you need to learn some jujitsu
so you can fight off the rape on the boat.
And he goes, yeah, man, fuck that, man.
That shit happens.
I go, what do you mean it happens?
I go, dudes really rape dudes on the boats?
He goes, well, you know, it's not that big a deal.
I go, okay, what's not that big a deal?
He goes, well, I've been in for a year.
I only know four dudes.
I go, what?
You know four dudes who've been raped by men
and you've only been in the Navy for a fucking year?
Could you imagine if you knew four comics that got raped?
He'd be like, fuck comedy, man.
People at the end of the comic are getting raped.
Well, how often?
Like four times a year.
Like, I'll never go there again.
If somebody started raping UFC commentators, I'm like, no, I'm going to watch that shit from my house.
Good luck on the Australian guy.
Two guns in my lap.
Fuck you.
What are you, crazy?
Four dudes.
He was only in the Navy a year.
And it happened over that year?
Yes.
Or he met them?
During that year he knew four dudes
who got raped.
Wow.
I mean,
how many people
was he coming
in contact with?
Even though the Navy
is gigantic,
that's a big number.
Even if it's a few thousand.
Still.
Fuck.
Did you ever come close
to joining the military
or anything?
Yeah,
I had a recruiter
show up at the grocery store
I worked at.
It was for the Air Force.
I thought of it.
Oh, he went to my high school.
And then I remember him.
How old was I?
Yeah.
Like 17, 18.
And then when I wrestled in high school, then he, this recruiter, I'll never forget, saw our heavyweight and goes,
Yeah, is him looking for John Heffron?
And then this guy started laughing.
He's like, he's too small.
Because when I was in high school, I was maybe 5'6", 100.
I wrestled
105 pounds
so I didn't grow
until after
like 3 years
105?
105
Jesus
and then 119
that's not even a real weight
is when I wrestled
I know right
if I find a woman
who's 105 pounds
I'm like yeah
you're pretty small
yeah
did you try to say
you would fuck John
if he was 100 pounds?
I would have to see a picture
when were you thinking
about joining the military?
Same time, 17, 18.
It was kind of interesting.
Instead of college,
I was like,
fuck it, let's just go to the military.
Yeah, I was going to go
for college.
I was thinking National Guard.
I was like,
you can get paid.
You only have to put up
some cones during a flood
or something.
I really want to be in the military.
I really want to fight jets.
Do you remember,
that's the Bush administration
changed all that bullshit.
The National Guard
used to be a safe way
to not go to war.
To war.
And you were helping people.
You were still getting the money.
No, it's active duty.
And they split families up.
And it's rough.
Well, even if you look at Rambo,
remember it was all
National Guard guys
went after Rambo.
And the whole movie
was making fun
of these National Guard guys.
Like, they didn't know
how to do anything.
Hey, I gotta get back
to the store. And now, the National Guard guys like yeah they don't know how to do anything hey I got to get back to the store there's a now the National Guard guys
are as bad asses anyone else you know the dude I do jujitsu with and he was in
the Army Reserve for 20 years and 20 days left in his 20 year tour 20 years
20 days left they sent him to Iraq for a year and a half so what they start
before that your time is over
they can just
lock you in
it doesn't matter
and they can bring you back
they can bring you back
anytime they want
they recall you
they're hurting so bad
nowadays
I'm surprised
they're not just like
oh you're an evil scout
you gotta go to
fucking Iraq
I think they're actually
recruitment
there's a lot of dudes
who go over there
because they think
they're doing the right thing
there's a lot of dudes like Pat Till there because they think they're doing the right thing.
There's a lot of dudes like Pat Tillman,
dudes who joined the army
and joined the Navy.
They think they're doing it
to protect this great country.
Especially then
in like 2001, 2002.
People had that theory.
But once they get in,
then they realize
you're getting fucked.
And that's what happened
with Pat Tillman.
I mean, he was a huge critic
as was his brother
of how fucked up things are
over in Iraq and Afghanistan
and you know
obviously wound up
killing them
they killed
Friendly Fire
I remember a year ago
I did a show
and I got back
to tell Roman
I googled
oldest age
to join army
really
you could be old
as fuck right
nah
they bumped it up
to 42
43
but that's like
20 years longer
than
now would you be enlisted there?
No, you do it...
Would you go straight to officer corps?
I heard a couple things.
One, they would like say, I join at, you know, 40.
They give me a job that...
And take a 19-year-old out of that job
and then throw that 19-year-old on the line.
So like the older guys is like...
But I know one of my wife's friends,
she's an Airborne Ranger.
She said she has privates in her thing that are, like, 37, 38 years old.
Wow.
Privates, you know, just guys that are infantry.
There's a lot of dudes, man, that have no fucking money, and they don't have anything in their town, and there's no options.
That's, like, something to do.
What's the difference?
You get taken care of for the rest of your life.
If you're taking something to do, you're going to go to war.
Or he's like...
Well, yeah, now would be a major problem.
I'm talking about in general.
We've been at war for eight years, dude.
We've been at war for eight years, man.
Joining the military for the last decade
has been no joke.
It's just...
What the fuck, man?
When I was a kid,
Vietnam ended when I was a little boy.
And I remember thinking very clearly that, oh, this is a good thing because now there's not going to be any more war.
Like, obviously, everybody hates war.
You're never going to go to war again.
And then when I was like 21, it was the first Gulf War.
Me and my buddy Jimmy Dottilio, we had an apartment together in Waltham, Massachusetts.
It was ethnic.
Jimmy Dottilio.
Two guineas hanging out in Waltham, Massachusetts. Sounds so ethnic. It was ethnic. It was a Toledo. Two guineas hanging out in Waltham.
And we're sitting in front of the TV and the fucking, the first strike happened.
And they showed the missiles coming in and the bombs going off.
And I was like, holy shit.
And me and Jimmy watched it like we were watching a football game.
And we were like, dude, we're at war.
Holy shit.
I remember being in college then and the two guys I lived with were all reservists,
and then they got called up.
So they were probably 20, 21 years old, 22, got called up and went down to, they were
going to start to help train.
At the time, everybody was like, there's going to be a draft.
There's going to be a draft.
So we all thought, because we were at that age, we were 20, 21, we're like, holy crap,
we're going.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
There was a serious talk of that yeah
yeah so scary man i remember when the first golf war happened we're practicing in basketball and
it was the opening night of some play some high school play and somebody came in like the play
bomb the plane the planes bomb i just thought things like the play bomb oh it's hilarious why
are you breaking up our practice for that so yes, yes, I'm a little happy about it.
Yeah, the whole thing is so surreal.
I got woken up.
I don't remember who woke me up, but somebody woke me up and called me and told me that America's under attack.
Yeah, that's what they said.
America's under attack.
And I was like, what?
Turn on the news.
America's under attack.
And we just are so removed from all the shit that goes on in the rest of the world.
We are so removed from what war really is.
Unless you talk to someone who's actually been over there and come back,
and they have a very different opinion of it.
But we're so fucking removed from it over here.
When I saw that shit on TV, I was like, what?
Really?
This isn't a movie?
I was like, your heart starts beating faster.
It's like, all of a sudden, this team you're on is under attack.
You know?
I mean, it's not you, but it's like we're all in this team together.
And you don't think about that through your day-to-day life.
You can say you're happy to be an American and shit and you believe in democracy and I'm a Republican.
But you don't really realize you're on some team until the team's attacked.
Right.
And then you're like,
so dudes that did nothing,
dudes who didn't know these dudes
came over and killed them
just because they were living
on this part?
Yeah.
They were living in this patch of dirt
so people were killing them.
I thought that was only movie shit.
My brother's over there now.
Is he?
Afghanistan.
He just got called up again.
Oh my God.
Yeah. That's what happens. He just got called up again. Oh, my God. Yeah.
That's what happens.
When you go through a tour, if you sign up for the military,
Dick Cheney instituted some new situation where they can just kind of keep bringing you back.
Well, he's still in active reserve, so he knew he was eventually going to get called up again.
But when they were in a situation where people had done their tours and they were bringing him back.
Yeah.
Ugh. They were in a situation where people had done their tours and they were bringing them back. Randall,
Masker, how long are you going to ask
the same question over and over and over again?
Is some dude asking the question over and over again?
I've seen it ten times.
Joe, who gets more women?
Why are you reading it?
I'm just rewarding him.
He's still doing it.
When people ignore you Because he's still doing it. So. All right, we'll take some.
Yeah, when people ignore you sometimes,
you ever make a joke, like, in public,
and nobody laughs,
and then you hear somebody, like,
make the same joke again
because they assume nobody heard them?
And it's like, dude, look at their response
and fucking take that to mean
they didn't find it funny.
It's the worst that someone thinks
you weren't listening,
and then they say it again.
Yeah, one, that means it's not in the moment.
That means you're trying to make this joke this guy says all the branches other than the army are
overloaded actually i don't know i believe that now now i think he's probably telling truth
i would think that in this economy i would there's a lot yeah a lot of people are it's a lot higher
than look at what was it how long two years ago new orleans you know
we didn't have enough people to sit in there you know two years ago wasn't it wasn't a lot more
than two years ago when was katrina what year was that oh maybe it was longer because that was when
i first heard about kanye west when he was like george bush hates black people that was way that's
my favorite was was michael myers reaction because he's just a Hollywood guy.
Yes, these people tell us.
And he's like, ooh, I do not want to be associated with this.
He's just so uncomfortable.
I know.
He got so, I mean, that was like one of the blackest, most dangerous things you could say.
And he was like, what?
Why am I in this picture?
George Bush does not like black people.
Wow.
George Bush hates black people, right?
Did he say hates or does not like?
George Bush hates.
Did he say hates black people? I think it's hates. Yeah, I think it is. He said hates? George Bush hates black people right did he say hates or does not like George Bush did he say hates
black people
I think it's hates
he said hates
George Bush hates
black people
yeah
you know why
why is that guy
still on TV
he's like fucking
spidey
but now he's on TV
because he's a douche bag
and because people
are looking for him
to do something wrong
his like
his reason for being
on TV
has evolved
it used to be like
here's this young artist
now it's like
this guy's such a cock
like have him close to the camera and probably do something stupid and everybody will hate him and it'll get you a million hits has evolved. It used to be like, here's this young artist. Now it's like, this guy's such a cock. Like,
have him close to the camera
and he'll probably
do something stupid
and everybody will hate him
and it'll get you
a million hits on YouTube.
You know,
like when he took that
microphone away from that girl,
he'll be hated forever.
You don't do that!
What was even worse
was his fake apology
on Leno later.
He was trying to work up tears
but he couldn't quite do it.
Oh,
he's so,
so weak.
And he was just saying he's going to take a step back
and he's not going to work on some show.
He's going to go, shut the fuck up.
My favorite is when he says,
please, just let me be great.
George Bush doesn't care about black people.
Doesn't care?
Yeah, that's what I thought it was.
Thank you, our adder boy.
Yeah, hate is a very strong word.
Hate might make Mike Myers flinch and pee a little.
Yeah.
Might let a little dribble go.
This could ruin my career.
What happened to that dude?
Mike Myers?
Yeah.
They're actually making a new Austin Powers movie right now.
Yeah, but that last movie was awful.
That last movie was death.
Tarantino put him in Glorious Bastards.
And it was horrible.
It was so like,
why is this guy in here?
It was weird
because he wasn't being funny
so then it's like,
why would you put clearly
someone who's known
as a comedic actor.
I just really hate him now.
So you hate Michael Myers?
That last movie
just rubbed me the wrong way.
I was like,
dude,
you're doing the same movie
but this is awful.
Yeah,
but it's an Indian
So American Axe Murder
wasn't bad
because he wasn't
overdoing it
he was just like
a little bit
I never saw that
that was a great movie
10 years ago
people are asking
to take a break
why?
because we've been on
straight for a while
what does that mean?
they can't leave
the fucking screen?
they don't want to
miss anything
I'm going to go to the bathroom
when I get up.
Well, we're going to end soon.
Yeah, we're done.
We're done at 5.
Because it's 4.30, and I have to do some sort of an interview with some people in Australia
for a gig I'm doing in Australia.
I'm not trying to drop names.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm doing theater in Australia, kicking it international style like my boy Soulja Boy.
Holla.
What happened to that guy?
Soulja Boy.
That's not a knife.
This is a knife guy.
Oh, yeah.
He used to be like...
He got as famous as was possible for him.
Yeah.
Wasn't he in commercials first?
Yes.
He was huge.
Somebody just made a reference.
Paul Hogan, right?
Yeah.
Was that a golf guy?
Was that a family guy or Simpson just made a reference about him?
He was like, I want to get hugely famous like that guy
from Crocodile Hunter
and then
not Crocodile
Crocodile Dundee
yeah.
Yeah and then
not famous at all
like that guy
from Crocodile Dundee.
Yeah how weird is that?
It was gone.
That guy was doing
movies and shit?
Took his millions
and left.
Yeah is that what he did?
Just build a Hollywood?
No I think.
I think we got sick
of him as a country
but yeah.
I think people just
But he only did
two Crocodile Dundees
and then no other movies
didn't try to like
be in someone else's film.
Yeah,
we didn't see him
in a romantic comedy.
Yeah,
you think he would've tried.
You're the crocodile guy.
He must have lost
some money on his movie
and said,
fuck him.
Have you seen the preview
for the new MacGruger movie?
You know that MacGruger,
MacGyver?
They may have a whole movie
coming out.
And usually SNL movies.
MacGyver or MacGruver?
MacGruver. It's a take on MacGyver on Saturday Night Live. And there's a movie on it? They're have a whole movie coming out. Usually SNL movies... MacGyver or MacGruver? MacGruver.
It's a take on MacGyver on Saturday Night Live.
There's a movie on it?
They're making a movie.
They have a new preview that just came out.
The funny thing about SNL movies
is that they usually always have the best parts in the preview.
There's not one part in this movie that looks good.
That is the worst.
When you go to a preview and you just sit there and go oh
what the fuck are they doing like why would someone like promote this yeah there's nothing
worse than bad comedy because at least bad drama is hilarious you know bad drama like showgirls
or something like that those are genuinely funny movies you know i got some um left behinds
they're uh they're the're the Rapture videos that
fucking Kirk Cameron dude makes.
Holy shit are they awesome.
They're so good. They're so
beautifully stupid. Watching Kirk
Cameron get owned on YouTube is one of my
favorite pastimes. He's so dumb.
I saw a Kirk Cameron movie
in the theater. Did you really?
The one where he's on debate team.
I don't remember what it was but it was like
a group date
with Conor Lieber
and a few other people
we got driven there
I think Conor had
her license
yeah
it was a debate movie
and I remember
the big climax
at the end
was like
cause some
teacher taught them
in a clear
move to the rest
of the movie
that he sounded
like he was being real
but he really wasn't
and then later
was like
were you serious
about that he was like he was being real but he really wasn't. And then later he was like are you serious about that?
Yeah, I was.
I guarantee you, Kirk Cameron
loves the cock.
I guarantee you he loves the cock.
There's no doubt about it. There's no way
he's that crazy, gung-ho
Jesus, the rapture,
no sin, no
masturbation, no love.
Fucking gay as the day is long. I don't think so. no sin no masturbation no love fucking gay
as the day
is long
I don't think so
you know
he said
that he was
fighting it
with every
fiber of his
being
trying to stay
in the straight
and narrow
like girls
and meanwhile
he just wants
fucking cock
cock mouth
I just heard
that
Herschel Walker
was talking about
when you
doing his fight
uh huh
and he said
he doesn't masturbate yeah but he's crazy Herschel Walker has talking about when you were doing his fight. Uh-huh. Strike voice. And he said that he doesn't masturbate.
Yeah, but he's crazy.
Herschel Walker's got, like, split personality disorder.
Yeah.
I heard it was trauma-related.
I thought it was trauma-related.
He said that, like, he didn't remember getting his Heisman Trophy.
Like, he's got all these different...
Dude, think about how many times that guy must have had concussions.
I don't know if he's a big concussion guy, though.
He plays football. Everybody gets concussions playing I don't know if he's a big concussion guy, though. He plays football.
Everybody gets concussions playing football, right?
Quarterbacks get it.
No, a quarterback who's had the most will be like eight ever.
But that's quarterbacks.
They take blindside hits all the time.
Jesus.
I was standing there when somebody fucking crushed them helmet to helmet, which doesn't
help as much.
Yeah, but any time you get hit, even if you're not getting a concussion, you're getting fucking
rattled.
Even if you get up and you get back up, when you get smashed into by some giant dude who's running a full clip,
even if you don't go out and even if you don't have a concussion where your pupils are dilated,
you got some brain damage, son.
You just got jarred.
That's reality.
And when you do that shit over and over and over again, football's one of the most dangerous things for guys.
I saw Ben Roethlisberger last week.
No, it wasn't Ben Roethlisberger.
Was there a big quarterback?
Whoever it was.
Oh, Kurt Warner, who threw an interception, went to make a tackle,
and then he just got blindsided.
And you see him on the ground with his trainers over him,
and he's, like, talking, but you can clearly see he's not making any sense.
He's like, no, no, I'm on the...
And you're like, all right, stay, stay'm all, and you're like, they're like,
alright, stay, stay.
that's nuts.
That happens a lot.
I got one concussion once.
Really?
I fought a,
Danny Bonaduce
hit me in the back of the head
we were sparring
and I kind of went down
but he said it was
the slowest knockout ever.
Like,
I went to one knee
and he goes,
are you okay?
And I was like,
yeah, yeah, I'm good.
And then I went to the other knee, are you sure you're okay? Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just gonna like, okay and I was like yeah yeah I'm good and then I went to the other okay yeah I think fine I'm
just gonna like literally I'm just gonna I'm gonna lay here for a second we have
time if I can lay here that's what I'm saying to him oh my god long story short
the girlfriend I was dating at time came to my apartment goes you bought a VCR
and I go no she was just the best buy with the VCR thing over there who's is
it go over it's my signature um bought a VCR thing over there. Whose is it? Go over. It's my signature.
Bought a VCR. This is back when people bought DVDs, though.
So I even bought the older VCR, and I bought it the way home after I left the place.
Wow.
He didn't realize you bought it.
And then she goes, what's the matter with you or whatever?
And I go, well, sparring and all.
And then she's like, you look.
And then we went to the doctors, and then I lifted up a foot, and I fell, and then da-da-da, and the whole thing.
Wow.
That sounds like a state of when you just wake up, and somebody's like.
Well, there's no football players that said they don't remember.
Like, Trey could say he would play a whole quarter and didn't remember playing the whole.
Joe Dirksen.
Some fighter said that.
Joe Dirksen fought Patrick Cote, and it was an awesome fight.
Patrick Cote caught him with a big shot, had Dirksen hurt.
Then Dirksen wound up taking his back and choking him out. It was fucking chaos an awesome fight. Patrick Cote caught him with a big shot, had Dirksen hurt and then Dirksen wound up
taking his back
and choking him out.
It was fucking chaos.
Great fight.
And I ran into Dirksen
after the fight.
We were on the way
to the press conference.
I go, dude,
that was a fucking awesome fight.
I go, what a comfort
behind victory.
He goes, I don't remember it
because I don't remember
what happened.
I go, you don't remember
what happened?
He goes, no, man,
he cracked me.
I don't remember what happened.
I didn't get his back.
But this wasn't even an interview.
This was just me and him
backstage. I go, you got his back and didn't get his back. But this wasn't even an interview. This was just me and him backstage.
I go, you got his back
and you did the BJ pen.
You pulled the hook over the arm,
trapped the arm
and you choked him out.
I go, it was beautiful, man.
Wait till you see it.
He's like, I don't remember it.
I'm like, wow.
That's crazy.
There was that one guy
he did an interview
and he goes, I don't remember that.
I thought it was a joke.
And he was like,
oh, no, I don't remember this at all.
Yeah.
Was that against Dan? Cole Miller against Dan Lozon. Yeah. He got dropped. And he was like, oh, no, I don't remember this at all. Was that against Dan Lozon?
Cole Miller against Dan Lozon.
He got dropped.
And I thought, what were you thinking?
How badly were you hurt when he got dropped?
He goes, I got dropped?
He didn't remember it.
Yeah, when it came on, he goes, oh, wow, I did.
Like, his reaction was so real.
Tim Sylvia, when he fought Randy Couture,
when Tim Sylvia got cracked in the first round
he woke up
going into the
fourth round
yeah
he didn't know
what round it was
he thought the
second round
was the fourth round
or he thought
the fourth round
was the second round
he was off by two
he missed two rounds
or the fifth I think
it might have been
the fifth
because they told him
this is the last round
he was like
what the last round
he thought it was
the second round
he was gone
he was fighting
on autopilot
your body trying not to die dude you know He thought it was like the second round. Like he was gone. Just erased the whole thing. He was fighting on autopilot.
It's just your body trying not to die.
Dude.
You know, just random nerves just randomly thrown.
Getting blasted.
I love like striking training. I love like hitting the pad and hitting the bag.
And sparring with somebody you can trust is fun.
Yeah, if you can find that guy that knows 70% is 70%.
Even some dude punched you in the face recently in your Krav Maga class.
Yeah, same thing.
That's why I enjoy training, like you said.
Literally, I go, let's go 40% because I got some.
Right, and if people don't know, when you do striking sparring,
the whole deal is that you don't hit each other hard.
You hit each other a little bit, but you don't try to knock each other out.
Yeah, there's nothing.
And so I'm like, and my problem is I don't get in close enough.
So I told the guy, let's go 40.
That way if I do get drilled right in the face, it's not going to.
So then I throw a kick, but I'm throwing a kick at 40%, which means any little kick could grab that kick.
It's not going fast.
So he swoops it, grabs it and then
punches as hard
as he could after he
catches my foot.
I lay in there and I'm like
yeah that's what I'm going to do more Jiu Jitsu
because the worst thing that's going to happen to me
is somebody's going to tap me out.
I mean that could be that fluke
weird but it's more of a jump not a gentleman's
board it's just a technical attack them when the worst thing happened is I go
like that and I'm not going man I are just weird plant where I'll be in the
face slow down good guys don't hurt you good guys are the least you know worry
about like with a guy like Eddie if he gets your arm he's gonna have full control he's not gonna pull it back and snap least thing to worry about. With a guy like Eddie, if he gets your arm, he's going to have full control. He's not going to
pull it back and snap it. You've got to worry about
strong blue belts that are
just starting to learn how to tap people.
Those are the ones you've got to worry about.
Or just real
hyper-aggressive and they don't know how to relax yet.
Or super powerful white belts
who are just learning moves.
The most you'll get is bruises all over your fucking
When you spar somebody,
especially, like,
if I find a place wherever I'm performing,
that's a better story for them
than just being knocked out
the comic that way.
That's a way better story
than, hey,
I want to work on getting inside.
Do you mind if I...
But then again,
there's some places
that you go to
where people don't try
to do that at all.
Like, when I went to
Amal Easton's place in Boulder,
when I moved there
and I started training there, people couldn't have been nicer.
Everybody was cool.
There was no assholes.
There was no aggro dudes.
No one trying to tap you.
No one getting crazy.
I mean, they were trying to tap you, but they weren't trying to crush you.
They were just rolling.
It's all from how cool the instructor is.
If the instructor is cool, then the people are cool. Like, Eddie's so friendly
and so relaxed
and so cool to everybody
that everybody in the whole gym
carries that friendly,
relaxed attitude.
You know,
you go to like,
John Jock's the same thing.
John Jock's a real nice guy.
So everybody there is nice.
Eddie was so high the other day
that he started talking
and he went up to hand it
and then I was like,
I wonder if,
and then you see the other people laughing.
Like,
he's gone.
He got so high,
he spent the first five
minutes of class talking about some history channel documentary on ufos the first five
minutes like dude they got scientists man they got pulling down nasa people man going down
it's like dude it's on the history channel going down i'm like how high are you right now
on the History Channel.
Shit's going down.
I'm like,
how high are you right now?
How often do you do,
do, do, do?
Once,
once to 1.5 times a week.
But you still,
see,
even that once.
Yeah.
Gets you thinking about it.
I just get so mad at myself.
Like,
I'll go,
you learn some stuff and then you come back
and you just hold somebody going,
I used to remember something.
I don't remember today
and then.
You try to hold them
while you figure it out.
It's like standing in a company. You gotta just be like, running so many times. I don't know when you just stand up and you take a couple remember that I and then you gotta consistently
you gotta just be like
running so many times
I don't know when you just stand up
and take a couple of weeks off
and then try to do your act
like how's this go
you don't even remember your bets
you have to like
review your recordings
I forgot a shit ton
I took an extended period off
and I forgot a shit ton
I was like
I know I can do something here
I don't have any idea
yeah
you forget a lot of shit
I forgot
completely forgot how to do this
there's this move
to break the armbar that was called the Silverado.
It was my favorite move when I was at Purple Belt.
I completely forgot about it.
Right.
We were reviewing it the other night.
I'm like, oh, yeah, it's there.
That's how it goes in.
You know, I forgot how to do it.
But it was like one of my favorite moves.
It's weird.
Jiu-Jitsu, there's so many moves.
That's the crazy thing about it is it's never ending.
Do you think it's not matched, right?
You think a year from now some guy would do something that's –
Oh, yeah.
Right?
No one's done it.
Because it comes off what other people are doing.
Yeah.
It depends off what's based on what you do.
But then no one has ever thought to defend this move yet because it hasn't been invented.
So once it does get invented, then you've got to have a counter.
There's this new move that dudes have been doing real recently called the Japanese necktie,
and it's just come out.
I think Aoki
was the first person
to do it.
In the program?
Yeah.
It's,
no,
Japanese necktie
is like a,
it's sort of like a darts
but you,
you,
you grab it,
you grab it
with a gable grip
and you turn the guy's head
up towards his chest
and you have your chest
pinned on him.
It's fucking nasty.
It's one of the,
and it's new.
It's like,
how did no one know this before?
Right, right, yeah.
People are in this position all the time and they're trying to get the darts choked but really there's, there's an even better choke It's one of the best, and it's new. It's like how did no one know this before? Right, right, yeah.
People are in this position all the time, they're trying to get the darts choke, but
really there's an even better choke that's right there.
So as soon as you lock up that gable grip and you get on top of a guy, you tuck it under
and you're bending his fucking neck towards his chest.
Your chest is on top of his head.
He's got no air, no blood.
Whenever we do those drills and it's those cranks, I always pretend like we have an odd number of people in the class
and I don't have a partner.
No, you should do it, man.
You should do it.
It hurts.
Yeah, but you do it anyway.
You've got to relax.
Just let them yank your neck around.
It's such a small difference between fine and serious pain.
Yeah, but you've got to get used to that.
No one's going to hurt you doing that, you know,
but it's going to be uncomfortable.
But that move, it's so important to learn where it comes on because, like like the japanese necktie comes on so quick the peruvian necktie
too it's like oh you're going like this and then you're just jumping back and hopefully you don't
go too far but it's a spazzy move it's awesome move peruvian necktie and japanese necktie both
of them are the shit they fuck you up man that's a terrible position to be in. I think the Japanese necktie is even,
well, the Peruvian is pretty badass too.
In the Peruvian,
you got your weight on top of them always.
The Japanese necktie,
you're kind of like on the side
and hooking it,
but it doesn't matter.
It's so good.
Such a powerful move like that.
I think we're done.
Do you agree, Brian?
All right.
I was just thinking of Japanese people.
I'm like,
have I ever seen a Japanese guy
wearing a necktie?
In their time? Oh, okay. True, yeah. That was good. Brian? I was just thinking of Japanese people and I'm like have I ever seen a Japanese guy wear anything? No time.
Okay.
True.
Yeah.
That was good.
Just to spend.
Well what about
that fucking
Japanese video game?
That video that you
posted?
Maybe we should end
with that because
that is the most
bizarre fucking thing
I think I've ever
seen on the internet.
There's some crazy
Japanese video game
that's like these
two muscle bound
gay guys wearing
diapers and they're
a human bicycle and they're riding down wearing diapers and they're they're a human
bicycle and they're riding down the road and they're getting chased and i mean it is one of
the gayest weirdest things definitely lead the lead the the league in weirdness they're so strange
do you know if people don't know there's like you can go to vending machines in japan you can
buy used panties like that's real yeah you go
places they sell used panties why can't we why can't we open one of those there
yeah because you open one of those here just I have to do is get a girl to put
it on real quick throw it in a bag and then yeah yeah I think you have enough
people there because I think because I think I should have different levels
you have different levels one the girl wears it all day that the primo. She doesn't change her panties all day.
No shower in the morning.
No shower.
She goes to the gym, and you get those stinky, sweaty, funky, moose knuckle underwears.
I think you missed an opportunity for the Joe Rogan fanny pack line.
I'm going to make them.
And I was already thinking about your fashion show.
I'm making fanny packs.
And then have used panties inside that. I'm making fanny packs. And then have
used panties like that.
We'll call them
like Rogan.
I mean you could
probably get it so
instead of it's
fanny pack it's
oh you want a
I mean there's
some huge
skulls and just
People think I'm
kidding about the
fanny pack thing.
You see me at the
airport.
I always have one
of those things on.
You should shape
a fanny pack like
a skull.
Like a three
dimensional skull.
You can get a little
crazy with it.
It's overhead compartment for your junk.
You're setting the sky's the limit on fanny packs.
It's a huge opening.
So easy to wear, so comfortable, so useful.
A fanny pack's the shit.
And then I can see fighters entering.
Well, that'd be a little bit of a thing.
But, you know, sponsored by...
Here's a good question.
After seeing the Jew clam, what's going to
shock us?
This video we're going to show you
is not as shocking as the Jew clam.
I got to pee. Goodbye, everybody.
This is actually funny.
I was going to pee.
We'll turn off the webcam now and check it out.
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, for another
fun, fun Ustream
podcast. I hope you enjoyed it.
Jon Heffron needs more Twitter
followers, people. It's
Jon Heffron, Heffron with two F's.
And we love you, bitches.
Thanks for tuning in.
Have you seen this, Jon?
Uh-oh. Have you seen this John? Uh uh.大当り!!大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後、大会の後 I'm not going to let you go. oh
Look at the baby son I tell it, tell these
That's what I'm saying
Alright guys
Thanks for watching
Bye everybody