The Joe Rogan Experience - #503 - Sam Tripoli

Episode Date: May 20, 2014

Sam Tripoli is a stand-up comedian who also hosts his own shows, "The Naughty Show" and the "Punch Drunk Sports" , with co-hosts Ari Shaffir and Jason Thibault. "Punch Drunk Sports" is available on Spotify.

Joe Rogan, he figured it out. During my day, Joe Rogan podcasts my night, all day. Powerful Sam Tripoli. Boom. Back in the saddle. Powerful Sam Tripoli, and with a brand new comedy CD. I brought one for you. I know some people don't even have CD players anymore,

but I brought it for you, this artwork by my buddy. And it's called You Can Do This? It's called Believe in Yourself. It was either that, it's either that, or I was going to call it Shady Shit, but I didn't think iTunes would let me put that up, so I won't believe it. Believe in Yourself is good. It's funny. Well, kind of, if you listen to the album, you get why I call it that, so it's like fun.

Well, I know your material, so I would agree with that, like it that so it's like fun well i know your material so i would agree with that like thematically it's good it's sort of a a fun having fun with it yeah it just goes against the grain it's it's it the feedback people have already listened to it really love it and i'm you know i hadn't put out a cd for a while so i was like really excited to put this whole group of hour of power together and i did did at the Edmonton comedy strip, which is one of my favorite clubs to play. Cause it's literally the only club where I got off stage in two separate times.

The owners, one Tammy and one Rick Bronson would pull me aside and literally go, dude, can you work dirtier? And I go, what they go, we would really like you to work dirtier. And I'm like, are you crazy? That's so ridiculous. So then I go, what? They go, we would really like you to work dirtier. And I'm like, are you crazy?

That's so ridiculous. So then I go up, I'd say, I'm just getting filthy for the sake of getting filthy. But it's one of Gray's clubs. And I said, you know, this would be a great place to do a CD. So I decided to do it there. They're maniacs up there. Edmonton's crazy. Well, they're living in a place, you know, it gets 50 fucking below zero in the winter there.

Those are hardy folk. And everyone's got cash because they're fracking. Oh, yeah, they're all fracking up there. Their unemployment is like.0001%. They're giving 12-year-olds jobs because there's not enough people to go around for all the jobs. Well, it's interesting, too, because people that live in that kind of an environment, if you can survive that kind of a winter and you stay, job or no job, if you don't fucking plot and escape, you're a different kind of breed. Yeah, it's blue collar with money, which is a dangerous situation.

Well, it's blue collar with money, but it's also people with a certain level of character. You have to to get through the winter. You can't be too much of a fuck-off. You know what I mean? When shit gets 50 below, you gotta be on your goddamn toes. You gotta be on your game. If you are a real case fuck-up, the kind of

guy who winds up falling asleep in parking lots all the time, the security guard finds you at 9am, you die. That chick that happened to some, I don't know where it was, somewhere in the northeast, she passed out on her doorstep. And then she woke up and like half her body had all frostbites and they were going to have to amputate shit because she had passed out on her.

Who just walked, and somebody had to walk by going, I think that girl is dead. Nobody says anything. She's only 19 also. She was a college student. Oh, that's awful. It's booze, man. Especially when you're 19. When you're 19, you don't fucking, you know, you don't know how to drink yet.

You can go way too deep. Like, she was probably, forget the frostbite, she was probably on death's door. Oh, yeah. So how fucked up is her body? And she's hot, too. How fucked up is her body? It's even worse. Well, scroll up.

What does it say? What's the story? Hey, this isn't as good as... May lose limbs. Oh, God damn it. Her hands were three times the size with her skin split from palm to finger. Oh, my God. They spent the night playing drinking games with friends during which she lost several rounds.

Who just drops the chick off like that? And downed at least 10 tequila shots Tweeted earlier that day Tequila shots tonight Yup Oh my god That's awful Joe do you remember a guy named Fast Eddie

That used to hang out at the comedy store? The fat Mexican He was called Fast Eddie He's there all the time He was there for his birthday one time Wait was he a comedian? No he was just one of the guys Really nice dude.

He hangs out. He used to hang out at the patio. Would I know him? Yeah. When did he start to hang out there? Forever. Okay. I probably know him now.

Forever. And it was his birthday, and everyone's buying him shots, and we're driving around. And, I mean, he is God. He's like, drop me off at the club. It's a guy, so we're like, yeah, we'll drop you off. We'll just throw you out of the car, and you might die in a dumpster. But if it's a chick, nobody lets that happen. Everyone's like, no, come on.

You're too drunk. That's not true, depending on what kind of chick it is. If it's a giant, mouthy chick who likes to fight, dudes will kick that bitch out of the car and hit the gas. Get your ass kicked? Yeah. I mean, only bad people would kick anyone out of the car and hit the gas Get your ass kicked? Yeah, I mean only bad people Would kick anyone out of the car In the fucking winter

You have to be a really bad person Or that guy's a total piece of shit He's some loud mouth dude Who wants to fight cops Driving by on a road Fuck you pig Put the fucking window down dude What are you doing?

We were driving and I just heard my window go down. I go, what's up? And he's like, and he just all down the side of my window, which is nice. He got outside the car and didn't just fill up my backseat with Mexican vomit. Have you ever hung out with a dude who doesn't have a whole lot of friends, but he seems like a cool guy? And you're like, man, this guy's pretty cool. You know, I wonder why nobody's hanging around with this guy. Come hang out with us.

And then the dude gets drunk and just becomes a maniac. Fuck you, the bouncers and fucking, I mean, there are dudes like that. Does that get you, Jekyll and Hyde just get fucked? I used to be way back in the day. You used to be? You used to be a crazy. How do you know you were Jekyll and Hyde? Because I knew I'd just get drunk and I was just like...

But did you feel you becoming Jekyll and Hyde? Yeah. But you would do it again? Well, I don't really... You know, that's why I don't really drink that much. I don't even drink at all, actually. But back then, when you would do it, you would like, okay, here it comes. Yeah.

Taking my medicine. I used to warn people, Sometimes I get a little crazy. Oh, no. I've been around you. You were a drunk dude. I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think you're a Jekyll and Hyde guy. I'm an old lion now.

Well, no, no, no. I've been around you when you were drunk. How long have I fucking known you? At least 10 years. Probably like 13. I got picked up at the comedy store just around 2000. So during that time, we have all seen each other in a state of, if somebody wanted to have sex with us, it would technically be rape.

Yeah. They would be raping us. We've all been in that state. We've all seen each other in that state. Can't rape to willing, though. But you can, according to, there's like a lot of people that are actually arguing this. They have to say it. So you can rape guys? Yes. They have to say it about guys. Women?

Because they're saying it about women. If you want, there's obviously, they recognize that there's a real issue with that when it comes to like being contradictory and being hypocritical. If you start saying that if a man has sex with a woman who's had a few drinks, that's rape. Well, you have to also conversely say that if a woman has sex with a man who's had a few drinks, that's rape. Well, you have to also conversely say that if a woman has sex with a man who's had a

few drinks, that's rape. And if you're both drunk, you're raping the shit out of each other. That is the weird thing, dude, is that- It's a double illegal act, so it cancels itself out. Yeah, technically, she did rape him, but I mean, it's not the same thing. It's not technical at all. It's not technical at all because she didn't rape him. She had sex with a drunk guy. And we all know what that is. And when you add all these

goddamn extra layers, it doesn't change the actual act of what it is. The real problem with defining all these things is this is rape and that is rape and this is privilege and that is... No, no, no, no. Those are all just labels. You're putting labels on things that we know exactly what they are. Okay?

If a school teacher blows a 14-year-old, it's not rape. I totally agree with you on that one. And here's the thing. If she's gross, it's an issue. If she's hot, it's not at all. And we all know that to be a fact. We all know that if a chick who looks like Tara Patrick winds up blowing some 17-year-old kid, that's not a goddamn crime.

I mean, yeah, it's going to fuck that kid's head up, but it's not a goddamn crime. Not in a bad way, though. What dude's like, oh my God, Tara Patrick just sucked my dick. How is it rape? I just buy high-fiving people. How is it rape? No, I agree with you on that one. But we live in a country where it's like you can't technically have

different laws for different people, right? We have to apply the laws to everybody. I agree with everything you're saying. It's good, though. It's good that people are that hypocritical, because it exposes it. A subject like this, which becomes so preposterous when you start talking about it, exposes how crazy it is. There are people,

men and women, that like to get drunk and fuck. if you engage them in that activity you don't automatically become a rapist yeah like but there is a level that you get to that gets rapey yeah there is and we all know this yes label it all you want we all know there's something wrong if someone's really fucked up and blacked out and you say fuck it and you have sex with them anyway that's crazy that's fucked up there's also women awful there's also women that you've met that are so conniving that could probably rape like like hey i want to have a joe rogan baby you know and like gets you

drunk to the point where you fuck them and you forget to wear a condom yeah yeah that's totally possible but again pro athletes have to take the condom. They have to grab the condom, take it, put it in the toilet, and flush it. Because these women will take that condom. And squirt that baby. Yep, and squirt that baby. And the thought of just having a baby for the sake of making money, the fact that that's acceptable. Well, it's not just that.

It is definitely that but I think there's also Part of it is having a baby With a guy who ordinarily Doesn't want anything more than sex from you Now you connect with him So there's those options There's someone who just wants a baby There's some people that just want a baby

There's girls that are just like god damn it I want a baby I don't give a fuck if this guy wants a baby or not I want a baby Obviously you're not supposed to do that you should probably like tell the guy right like you could probably find a guy who's willing to just give you a baby but then it comes back and then there's all that legal stuff that well there was legal stuff with a guy who uh got he got he was a sperm donor he gave sperm to these people. They had a kid and then he got sued for child support and he lost because his DNA made the child. I mean, this poor guy, he wasn't involved

in the raising of this kid at all. That's incredible. This new thing with the guy from Lost Boys. Lost Boys? Patrick, the movie. What's his name? He was like the lead vampire. His ex-wife, he had donated sperm or some shit like that. And she took it and had a kid. And then he was trying to get custody or at least get visitation rights. And he finally got the right by the judge because he is the father. But it's like that's some crazy shit that you could donate sperm. And then it comes all this crazy issues with it. How's that even society's just crazy jason patrick yeah

patrick right what'd i say uh we i don't think we remembered his name yeah the the lead i forgot about that dude yeah like he was really big and i think he did like speed too and then it just went off the rails he um is a john jock machado student i've seen seen him hanging around with John Jock before. He takes jujitsu. I love that name, John Jock. You can't work at Burger King with the name John Jock. You could. I'm John Jock. Jason Patrick closer to be reunited with son.

Okay, let's not even read this. I'll get sad. He's a sperm donor and now he's got a kid? Is that what it is? He was married to this woman, I believe, and she took his sperm and had a child now he wants to be in the kids life oh boy boy boy boy that's why when you go to a massage parlor they tie the condiment and not and throw it in the refrigerator I think and sell that shit they don't throw it away they take the

condom out of the room they yeah they don't want your loads dude they nuke your lows they throw them in the microwave and they make Godzilla. Red Bandz, mother load, is that what they're talking about? That's just gold and then they're condoms? No, they're like, we finally got it, boys. It's all smooth sailing from here. What do I got here? Calling their friends up.

What's up, man? Dude, what do I got here? I'll tell you what I got. I got a little rubber baggie of gold. This is our ticket out of here. I got Red Band cum. Get the fuck out of here. Red Band cum.

The guy on Twitter, he got 100,000 followers. Exactly. That's right. He's a genius. That guy's cum. He's going to want it back. Red Band, man. It's a little more talent than I think people give him credit for it.

I got to work with him recently, and I feel like I never really. I mean, it was just fun hanging out with him, and I think he's a little more talented than people get that. Why are you saying that while you're looking at him? Because I don't think he gets credit. While you're looking at him. That's just weird. I am weird, though.

You are weird. I'll give you that. I'll give it back. I am a weird dude. I'm a little crazy, but I got a new CD out. Believe in yourself. Buy it. Is it on iTunes also? Yes. And it's on allthingsrecords.com.

Brian, we talked about this before, but why don't you put together like a set and do like a CD or something. Do a digital release. I need to. I just need to do more stage time first though. Yeah. Yeah, do comedy. I know. Do that shit. can't get spots anywhere in LA I'm you can you just put together your own shows do do those

fucking small I can tell you where you can go you can go to the John Lovitz you can go to this new club I'm Hollywood Boulevard there's a bunch of place you can go I mean if you can't get the store and you can't do the I I don't know why the improv doesn't put you up. Yeah. Probably someone doesn't like your sexiness. That's right. I do believe your man heat makes people very, very intimidated. But Vegas is cool. You can get spots, though, dude.

You can get spots. You just got to hustle. You got to hustle. It's so hard to hustle and do everything. It is. You know, that's the issue. You got to decide what do you like doing. You like doing a million other podcasts?

Right. Or do you want to do like two or three your podcast podcast a lot lately and smart it's focusing on the comedy thing which is so tiring because as you know like going on the road and finding a spot yourself doing it the Doug stand up way getting like a rock club and getting the door and doing all it is the most stressful thing ever that's why managers I get that that 10 or 20 percent that they take because that shit is just annoying as fuck yeah and it's just hard though it's stressful and hard I just went to Vegas and it was such a it was so fun the

place was amazing but there's the headache around booking it and yeah getting everything is well you could get somebody dude you can get somebody to book you it's worth it and they can put you in places where you ordinarily might not have a connection with the guy have you tried to get a booking agent yeah i don't even know what to do well you should get one like that other comics are doing it and you're friends with a lot of comics you know it's not hard to do but once once you like start doing it on a weekly basis and really hammer it in then the act like starts to take shape i've been blessed man lately i've been touring a lot.

And it's totally fun when you just keep... When you get to work on a joke over and over again, and then all of a sudden you just riff on a new punchline. Now it's just boom, boom, boom, and it just builds. Because I'm trying to now write a new hour to finally shoot something. I've never shot an hour special. So you want to write an hour additional to that and then shoot it and how much time well i'm debating whether i do like because i have another cd

called crime fighter and that material is really old but do the best of this and this best of this new stuff i'm doing and then shoot an hour or just do a whole new hour you know what i would say do a whole new hour because that way people could still find this stuff and they could still like tune into the old stuff yeah i'm about 35 minutes into a new hour i made a mistake once of not doing a totally new set because my my set like i had certain jokes that were just better between my showtime special and then when i did my cd on comedy central there was a couple bits that i don't know how many bits but there was more than one that crossed over that was just a better bit now and i just stuck it in anyway yeah because it was like not too many people saw the Netflix one because Netflix in 2005 was in its infancy Yeah, it was a completely different thing, but I regret that now. I probably shouldn't have done that

I probably should have just done totally new shit, but I had better versions of those bits I'm like god damn it. These are so much better. I saw your new special. It was on YouTube And yeah, it's already yeah people take it and stick it online. You know, you could, I don't really try to take it down. I take it down a couple of times. I feel like there's a bunch of bits on there that I hadn't heard before. Did you do new stuff in that special? Yeah, yeah, some of those.

That's some brave ass shit right there. Putting out new bits on the special, I guess. Well, one of the things about doing a podcast is you're even if you're not writing during the time that you're doing the podcast you're thinking about shit in a way and you're going over like especially if we're like doing a podcast like this like hanging out with comics just talking shit it's not like someone who's promoting a very specific book or you know about a very specific subject, which is fascinating as well. But doing these kind of podcasts, you're forced to think for long periods of time, and you get ideas.

And I think it's easier to write. I think it's easier to write shit. I think there's a bunch of different ways to write, but I think that just talking is a way to write too. But what is writing? It's just coming up with an idea, having a creative idea. You get a lot of those just talking is a way to write too but what you know what is what is writing it's just coming up with an idea having a creative idea you get a lot of those just talking you know they're not it's not the only thing you know you also get a lot of them doing stand-up you get a lot of them writing stand-up you get a lot of them writing other shit you might write an email to somebody

and have a fucking great idea in the middle of just trying to be silly in an email and you're like holy shit that's a bit and then take it copy paste it it's a bit in the middle of just trying to be silly in an email. And you're like, holy shit, that's a bit. And then take it, copy, paste it. It's just a matter of just being in motion all the time. Let's say you write 10 bits. How many do you think actually make the act? If out of 10 bits. Two are worth it.

Yeah. There's a few that are just like, what was that? You just go back over the notes and you're like, fuck was I thinking man I try to take everything that happens And I try to turn it into a bit And sometimes you're like This is gonna kill And you go up there and it just flat lines But I also get Bambi legs when I'm doing new material

When I have material I know that kills I'm like Thor Throwing fucking hammers of the god And then I get up there and I do this new bit. And it's just like I get the Bambi legs where my legs start shaking. And I start dropping F-bombs. And, like, every other word is a fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. You can't let that happen.

See, you know what happens, right? You know that that happens. And you talk about it, but you let it happen. You can never let that happen. I try not to. You can just never let it happen. You just never let it happen. It's not going to happen. It's just you can feel the energy of just try not to never let it happen you just never let it happen it's not gonna happen it's just you could feel the energy of just go yeah yeah but when guys do

that like you'll see guys like on the road especially if you bring a guy on the road that hasn't been on the road before and you see like the first time they go on stage and you know fucking fort lauderdale or something like that that's so funny yeah that's happened to me and a joke doesn't go over well. And then the fucks just start flying out. And what it is is like they're saying, uh. Yep. They're like, it's the guy, fucking guy with the fucking thing. And the audience does not want to hear that.

Right. That's like a poor use of words. You see that at the Hollywood improv a lot because a lot of people think that's like the office. That's where you go to work when the industry's going to be there. And when you're a young comic and it's the first time you get set there,

a lot of them put this humongous amount of pressure on themselves to do well there. And I've always felt like as you move up the comedy chain, I feel the gigs kind of get easier. You know, the ticket price goes up, and as the ticket price goes up, I always feel like people want to laugh. They're like, I'm dropping 50 bucks on this ticket. I'm going to laugh.

You know, I want to laugh. So people always – I couldn't disagree more. Really? Yeah. I don't understand why anybody would be more inclined to laugh because they paid a lot more money. I think they want to have a good time.

Like, if you're paying $50 compared to going to a show where it's like, free comedy. Okay, that's the difference. Because I think that people who go to free comedy, they could have done anything else. They're not really there for comedy. But someone pays for comedy, even if it's $10, whatever it is. If they're paying for comedy, they're going there to see a show.

Right. But there's a big difference between that and like, we paid 50 bucks, we're gonna laugh hard. Right, I mean I think it's the opposite. Really? Yes, when the ticket prices get high people do a little bit of this. Like, how much do I have to fucking pay? There's guys out there that charge 150 bucks a ticket. I've seen those

people. 200 dollars a ticket. You know? There's like, they have tiered seating, like the seating in the front's like 200 bucks. Seating behind that is $150. And you see people in that audience like this. I was just in Pechanga. Brian Regan's playing there. And I think he's like $110.

What? Summit's up there. Holy shit. I would pay that to see him. He's hilarious. He's great. We talked about that on the podcast before. But apparently, we were incorrect when it was about Jay Leno.

So we should probably correct. this is a good opportunity the when you see those super high tickets those are actually scalpers that's like ticket hub and shit like yeah but this was an advertisement on yeah in Pechanga I understand but we were talking about Jay Leno and we were quoting like $250 tickets and shit like that apparently his tickets are not that expensive. It's just that, you know, scalpers, they exist. I've been doing his spots on Sunday nights at the Comedy Magic Club. Oh, he's not doing it anymore? Well, he's on the road a lot.

So I do some of the times when he's not there, I do his spots. That's great. I think you being there is great because it allows it to kind of shift the comedy a little bit. Well, they were talking about the differences in the crowds, between my crowds and Jay Leno's crowds. It's pretty hilarious. I think it's great, man. Well, it's a good spot, man.

I mean, the place has been there for a long time. But everybody goes there. I chow down when I'm there, dude. You owe the food? I chow down. It's a good club, man. I mean, it's a club that's owned by a guy who really has a love of comedy. He's a great dude. Mike Lacey, I think think he started that club i think he bought it in 1978 i don't know if he started it

or if he was the first i think he was the first but either way it's like a goddamn museum stop blowing that stinky shit in the air that stuff's gross it's my love stinky man it's like it's like spraying perfume in the air at amber comedy andie & Fitch. It's fucking gross. It smells bad. You don't do those e-cigarettes? I mean, I definitely don't want to smell it. It's fucking gross. Red Band, stop it.

I saw some guy doing that at a restaurant the other day, and it was like it filled the room with this stinky smoke. They're starting to ban that now. But you can see it. But, I mean, you can see it all over the place, and people are looking around like, is that smoke? Like, technically, what the fuck is going on if I have to breathe your shit? We're in a gray area.

Yeah, but it's not legal. Yeah. It's not legal. And people are still doing it in restaurants. And then nobody, it's like, if you lit up a cigar in a restaurant. People go nuts. They would fucking beat your ass. Yeah.

Somebody would kick you out. But this guy pulled one of these things out and started puffing it in a restaurant, and nobody did anything. It was like this weird state of mind. Like, are we breathing in smoke? It smells. It had like a strawberry smell to it or something, icky. Yeah, but it isn't smoke, though.

It's vapor. But I don't believe that. And it smells like shit to him. If it's just vapor. Okay, you tell me this. What's the difference between you inhaling that vapor and me inhaling that vapor? It's going into your body, and you're blowing it out. So inside, when you're doing that, it's transporting the nicotine.

So when it goes out into the air, isn't it also transporting at least some of the nicotine? If it is, it's so small, and it's nicotine. It doesn't matter. But you can't say that, because you're asking other people small and it's nicotine. It doesn't matter. Do you do that? Well, you can't say that because you're asking other people to ingest your nicotine. That's the whole purpose of making secondhand smoke illegal. Yeah, but I think it's so small that you won't even feel anything. It shouldn't be anything.

It should be zero. It should be zero amount of drugs that you could put in the air that affect other people. Yeah. That's not something we have to deal with. We don't do that as a... mean i guess we do i was gonna say we don't do it with our bodies but i guess some chicks give off a fuck the perfume or like when you're in a mall and you go buy a can like a yankee no no it's not like way worse it's not like perfume it's not like perfume you're actually breathing in i see it in the air it's like when you blow

that thing out i can see it it's a fog machine's a fog machine. I don't believe that. I don't believe that. I think there's some of them that are. But I think some of them, man, that shit lingers like smoke. Like there's some that you see it, like it blows out, and within seconds it's gone. It just disappears. But there's other ones that float around. Float in the air. And that's the thing they're saying about these e-cigarettes.

They're saying, look, they're absolutely better for you than regular cigarettes. Are you done with cigarettes? Health experts are saying this, but what they're not saying is all e-cigarettes are equal. And what they're not saying is that all cigarettes that are, you know, using these little electronic mechanisms have the same mechanism that they act in the same way. So when you see what looks like fucking smoke, you're seeing a guy who burnt some tobacco oil. Yep. I mean, that's what it is. It might not be plant matter.

It might be just the oil. But I feel like it's smoke. There's no regulated standards that everybody must have the same thing. Yeah, I'm not sure enough to really discuss it. It's the Wild West. But what I've understood by listening to people talk about it, the standards are very different. Like you can get one like a blue e-cigarette. Like, if somebody had a blue in this room, they're smoking it, I'm pretty sure that is just vapor.

Like, that's all you're getting. You're inhaling this thing, and you're puffing out just vapor. But when you buy one of those fucking fire hydrant-looking bitches like Red Van has. Those lightsabers. With a tuba thing. What are those flute things? What are those things called? Okay. Those lightsabers. With a tuba thing. What are those flute things? What are those things called? Okay.

Like a flute. When you suck on the end of it, what would the mouthpiece be called? Fluke. Oh, yeah, a fluke. No, that's a fish. This thing. A fluke.

F-L-U-K-E is a fish. Oh. Well, maybe it's a fluke in it. It's a fish in a mouthpiece. I thought it was. Could be. Look it up. I thought it was a flute.

Wasn't it a flu? F-L-U-E? That piece I thought was a fluke. But isn't that a part of a musical instrument? Yeah, that's the same thing. Google it time! It's Google time! It's that little thing you put in

on the end of a wooden instrument. It's also a hot dog joint. You ever eat at Flukies? The many different words of the English language. Well, okay. The flying fluke. The part of an anchor that catches the ground, especially in the triangular piece at the end of each arm.

Hmm. Under anchor. A barb or a barbed head of a harpoon, a spear, arrow, or the like, and either half of the triangular tail of a whale. Okay, there's another. There's an accidental, like there's a fluke. So it was a fluke victory. That's one. That was a fluke.

Yeah, an accident or chance happening. An accidentally successful stroke, such as in billiards. It's a fluke shot in billiards, they say. Obscure origin. Okay. Fluke, like a guess. All any of several fluke perry no any american flounders i used to catch those when we lived in massachusetts just catch uh summer flounders they're called flukes and uh any of a variety of other flatfishes no it doesn't say that

now let's look up flu f F-L-U-E, because I think that's what we're thinking of. Oh, I might be wrong about that too. Flu is a passage or duct for smoke in a chimney. So it's a flu. It's not a fluke, you fuckheads. You ruined the whole thing.

Any duct or passage for air, gas, or the like, so it has to be that. You know what I found, man? You know those Green Mountain grills? You know those Green Mountain Grills? They make those pellet grills? They make a pellet, not Green Mountain Grills, but other companies. They make pellet smokers. Really?

Well, you can do, like, you know, you go to the barbecue, like, I've been looking up these smokers, man, you know, because I did that smoky thing with the ham. My smoker's kind of whack. It fell over in the wind. The wind knocked it over, and it's all fucked up now. I'm like, hmm. I mean, it worked fine for the moment, but it was kind of a pain in the dick. Like, you had to get up every couple hours and stick wood chips in it.

I thought it would be more self-contained than that. But they have these things like Green Mountain Grills, or, you know, the Green Mountain Grill is a pellet smoker, or it's a pellet cooker. But they have pellet smokers, too, that that work like in a kind of a different way it's more smoke than it is just the heat from burning the pellets I guess but you could make ribs and shit on them yeah when when Joey Diaz says that he got the meat sweats because I got it the other day from eating meat for uh eating meat ribs uh what is that from because I mean it. Like, I thought I was having a heart attack after eating because I was getting hot and then shaky and then...

Your body's just trying to burn off all that extra flesh you just stuffed down your maw. And that's what it is. Your body's just going, holy shit. We ate a fogo de chow. I love that place. After Eddie's match with Hoyler, and we were sweating like crazy.

Really? Yeah. You just dig in when you eat a lot of meat, man. I love it. I did one of those things where I'm driving by the hospital in Burbank and I'm like, should I just pull over and just wait this out to make sure I don't need to be there soon? Were you thinking you were dying? It felt, something

was not right, man. I felt like I was, something was up. Are you worried about your health? Is that why you're going to the electronic cigarette or is you just doing this because you're in the studio? No, I mostly do electronic cigarette. You should only do it. The girl I'm with hates it so much. Good.

Good for her. What does she hate more, your e-cigarettes or your handjob places? Oh, no. Shh. Jesus, Sam. You don't spell it out So there's no denial You fucking cock blocker Hey

Yeah, well, what Sam said The robot When you're kicking me Hey, listen Sam Tripoli knows what you do He always does that shit, man There's been so many times where Sam has said something Where I'm like, dude, what are you doing?

Like what? You're on stage talking about robot maps that shit, man. There's been so many times where Sam has said something where I'm like, dude, what are you doing? You're on stage talking about rub out maps. What are you talking about? You're the most interesting guy. You get mad at me all the time for just bringing up something you talk about on stage. You got everybody mad at me on Twitter because of something that

I just literally was like, hey, did you see Red Band say this? The firestorm breaks out. Do you not think she's on Twitter because of something that I just literally just was like, hey, did you see Red Band say this? And then the firestorm breaks out. Do you not think she's on Twitter? She's like a social media person. It's so weird. I know I'm out of shape. No way.

Because I was running one day in La Jolla. People randomly started cheering me on as I was running down the street. Guys on bikes were giving me high fives and thumbs up. I was like, dude, I'm just running. This isn't like a fucking marathon. How do you know that they didn't see you perform at the comedy store there that's right

next to La Jolla? Or maybe it was so funny seeing your boobs that they were like, yeah, that's hilarious. Uncalled for. Why wouldn't you assume that they knew who you were? You were performing in that fucking town. How many people do you think are in La Jolla? I know, but it was in PB.

I know it's the same basic place, but nobody was like- They probably knew who you were. How long ago was this? This was like a couple weeks ago. Sam Tripoli, you are internet famous in a way. You know that, right? You have a fucking CD that's number 11 on iTunes. Believe in yourself.

Yeah, but I mean, seriously, stop and think about that. You know that, right? You have a fucking CD that's number 11 on iTunes. Believe in yourself. Yeah, but I mean, seriously, stop and think about that. Are you confused that people would give you the thumbs up if they think you're funny? Yeah, I do, but I just feel it was- Do you have self-doubt, Sam Tripoli? I have self-doubt. Yes, I'm the house of self-doubt. That's where I come from. Yes, I do have self-doubt.

But I really think it more has to do with me looking like I'm barely holding on as I run. Well, there's a little of that, but I'm trying to give you a fucking half glass full option, and you're not even willing to take it. That's some defeatist-type thinking, Sam. I don't know why. I just have a feeling it has more to do with the running than the rocking. Because you're trying to work in your material about running and people getting... That's not true at all.

You're working on a bit. Come on. Okay, it is a bit. A little bit of a bit. A little all. Come on. Okay, it is a bit. A little bit of a bit. A little bit of a bit. A little bit of a something there I know I can ramble with. Pacific Beach is fucking beautiful, isn't it? It's gorgeous. I don't know why

would you live in Cleveland when you could live in Peabee? People get stuck. They don't have enough money to move. It's scary. It's scary to try to relocate to a new spot. I would smoke a ton of crack. What? That way I wouldn't have to eat for like two weeks.

And I'd just save all my money for a Greyhound. Because everybody knows that crack grows on trees. A Greyhound. I mean. Go to the crack bush on the corner. Yeah. Imagine if crack did grow on trees. It would put crack dealers out of business.

But everybody would be on crack. Everybody would be on crack. Can you imagine if that was like a real issue, like crack was just growing everywhere? There would be a lot of people on trees. There would be a lot of people that are dead, probably. This is a joke on my CD. I was walking my dog next door. I have crackheads everywhere.

I was walking my dog. I looked in the trees. There were crackheads in the trees. That's a true story. What were they doing on the tree? They were just hanging up out there, and there's like five crackheads in these trees. That's, you know, you got good crack. It's like if you go by a pasture and you see big, fat, healthy cows, that's some good grass.

Those cows are eating good. But if you see a crackhead up in a tree, someone nearby has some really good crack. Did you see the video of the jazz band playing playing jazz and the cows just all walk up and start listening to the the band jam really yeah it was like they had to pull over take a piss and guy starts playing his thing and all the cows just start looking and then you see them walk over and they start listening to the band that's so cool cows and people have such a fascinating relationship man that's a weird thing yeah we eat them well we don't just eat them like very very very very very very few people have them as pets you know and the people that do have mispets they

usually get something out of them like milk yeah welcome and then the big male ones boy not really interested in being your friend you got to keep them the fuck away from people you got to cut their balls off at an early age. And those are the ones you cook. Yep. You make your dairy. What a fucking weird relationship that these animals have somehow or another sort of developed and been groomed to develop to be these docile giants that we just pick meat from.

Yeah. So strange. I mean, we've accepted it because it's normal. But if human beings, if the concept of eating other animals didn't exist, and then we started introducing the idea, we found a better way to get our protein than beans. In fact, if you eat animals,

animal protein is high in omega-3 fatty acids. And we started extolling the virtues Of murdering cows and eating them People would be like what the fuck are you talking about What are you crazy You can't eat animals But because we eat animals All the time

It's just no big deal Mass murder is fine And we just have this thing Animals eat animals And they would eat us, which is totally true. Yes, they would. But it's weird. What I'm getting at is it's weird, and it goes back to what we were talking about, about living in Edmonton.

Because it's weird what people just get used to. It's weird that people get used to 50 below zero. It's weird that people get used to plowing themselves out of their driveway every day because it snowed a foot and a half overnight while they were sleeping. So they have to get up two hours early just so they can get out of their fucking driveway and drive down that slippery road to a job that sucks. But people do it. They just fucking do it. They just accept it. They accept it.

Just like this is my reality. Cold as fuck. Even prison. That's where it gets really weird, man. People accept their prison reality. That's why they say that men become institutionalized Like, I guess women as well, probably, right? If they're locked up for a long time

They become used to the community And the social interaction Schedule, too Schedule They get used to that world And when I say the community I don't say it's like it's a fucking great community The great NBC show?

No, I don't mean that either Okay What I meant was That it's like they get used to that sort of structure, that social structure. They get used to that world and they're scared. And when they get free, they'll commit some stupid little crime? To get locked up. When nobody gets hurt, so they get sent back. Yeah, that definitely does happen.

They should have the option, I think. To stay in? Look, I think if someone's gotten you to the point where you're so fucked up you want to stay in prison and you don't want to be free or if you are so fucked up and you have the the ability to recognize it you know like if you're a child molester or something along those lines which you know take away from the horrific act of what molesting a child is fucking unbelievably evil disgusting disgusting and evil but imagine i don't understand like some people's motivations for things i don't i don't i don't i'm not inside their head i could speculate

but i really couldn't imagine what it's like to be a child molester someone obviously can could you imagine being a person who does not want that in them it does not want that that whatever the fuck it is that's that aberration that fuck up that horrible left turn in their mind that makes them want to molest kids but it's there and so you know what if one of them was like you know what man don't let me out just leave me in here i think in here i'm having a good life or a good enough life there was a story about a guy who infected women with HIV and he had infected a bunch of them because he didn't believe he had it. He thought it was BS and he just infected.

Tommy Morrison. Tommy Morrison was saying that. Remember? But he went to jail and this guy, they wouldn't let him out. They kept him in jail for longer until they figured out what they were going to do with him. What can you do? How can you stop someone from giving a disease?

And how can you, you know, it's just, you have it, dude. You got it. You can't give it to other people. Yeah. I mean, people have been giving people the clap from the beginning of time. Right. You know, I mean, how many fucking people have chlamydia, know they have chlamydia and still go out and fuck?

That's gotta be rough. It's rough. But they would do it with AIDS too, man. People do with everything well obviously they you know obviously people do give it out because it gets spread around right well okay how about this fucking magic johnson donald sterling thing this this whole thing like a part of this whole thing that a lot of people are ignoring was her and the guide sterling and her having this conversation where he

was saying you can go fuck these guys he was like i don't care what you do with them fuck them go out you know fuck them like you're hanging out with magic wait a minute hold on well he even said that he said that in the anderson cooper interview yes that this guy was going around having sex with people when he knew he had h. Yeah, he said that in the Anderson Cooper thing. And I'd heard that before. Well, he probably does. But what's crazy is that it's just like everything else. It's just like having chlamydia.

It's just like having herpes. It's just like people don't think of HIV, which can be potentially fatal. I mean, I guess less fatal now that they have a lot more drugs. I think eventually it's just going to be like diabetes almost, but you can give it to somebody. I think that's where it's at now, I think. Drugs for it forever.

Will they ever cure it? I think what they should do is whoever's got a billion dollars go, this is a billion dollars. They need a lot more than that. To cure it? To a scientist that can have this billion dollars, go, this is a billion dollars. They need a lot more than that. To cure it? Yeah. If you're like to a scientist that can have this billion dollars if he cured it.

No. It doesn't matter. The funding in order to make a drug that's capable of doing something as incredible as curing HIV or curing AIDS. I mean, right now they've got them. Apparently, now, again, when I'm discussing this, I have zero medical background. We're just two dudes talking. Two idiots that happen to be dirty comedians. One smarter than the other.

But we don't have, I don't know, who the fuck is smart? I'm going to leave it out there. You know big words. I'm not sure. I'm saying it again. It's just words. The actual mechanism behind the smart is very debatable. But, look, the bottom line is, I don't know shit about medical science at all.

So anything that I say about what's good for you and bad for you is just fucking pure speculation. However, what I understand is that they've got it down to a point where you don't even test positive for HIV anymore. But they've got it down to a point where you don't even test positive for HIV anymore. They've had people that are HIV positive, but the drug goes into such remote places and squashes out the virus in such a way that even though you still have it, it's like it doesn't show. And you can transmit it? I don't know. That's the question. None of it makes any sense to me. It's chaos.

Viruses don't make any sense to me. Bacteria of it makes any sense to me. It's chaos. Viruses don't make any sense to me. Bacteria doesn't make any sense to me. The fact that you need bacteria makes no fucking sense to me. Can like a virus, it lives forever. That's a good question. Some of them they've eradicated and they've come back. You know, like some of them they got, well, that's one of the things that people get so upset about with anti-vaccine people. It's like, do you understand that they have taken shit like polio and made it almost non-existent? They've taken things like smallpox and made them almost non-existent.

What about this MERS or MAR? Yeah, MERS. Dangerous. Like, has that always been around, or is that just like something comes out of nowhere? And then you've got to be like, oh, it was a Middle East thing. How much is this man-made you know like well don't get crazy i won't i'll stop all that is the thing that people do dude and this i do have a a little bit

of information about this because i did a whole special on on that sci-fi show on infectious diseases and i got a chance to talk to a lot of these guys they're not making any new diseases they don't have to make any new diseases they have some shit weaponized smallpox that if they released were fucksville yeah they had this stuff in mass quantities in russia and that's a fact there's no need to make any new thing like mers mers is not very effective because look it's not spreading there's a very small amount of people have gotten and they were talking about it years ago it's a very small amount of people have gotten it. They were talking about it years ago. It's a very dangerous and deadly disease once people get it. But there's not that many people that have it.

It's a very small. I don't think like six people ever have died from it. The problem is it's like half the people that get it. Is bird flu new? Bird flu is not new. All of these flus, this is another thing that I found out doing the show. They're almost all of them come from livestock, whether it's a swine flu, whether it's the avian flu, bird flu, all these different flus,

a shit ton of them come from the way people raise animals in factory farm conditions. And make love to them? No. Okay. That's a myth. There was a lot of fucking going on. Remember that was the AIDS one with the monkey? Because somebody fucked a monkey! Yeah, Sam Kinison's bit on AIDS was like, at the time, it was so taboo and so wrong,

but there's so much of it that was so fucking true and funny. The thing where he's like, you know, he's like, Sam, they say Sam. AIDS is a heterosexual disease. Straight people die from it too. Name one! Name one fucking guy! Fuck you, it's not our dance! It's not our fucking dance! That's a horrible joke.

It's terrible and mean. Who is someone talking about? They went back and they watched Eddie Murphy's Delirious or Raw, I forgot, and they were watching it with their kids. And then at some point, he had to stop and go, listen, we don't talk like this anymore. Because it was very raw, obviously. Not just raw.

The difference between a gay joke and an evil like homophobic joke there's a difference and they used to that used to be pretty normal like an evil homophobic joke in the 80s was pretty normal like you could get away with it yeah you know and now it's like whoa it's like you can't just shit on someone just for their sexual orientation. Yeah, it's got to be an observation of it. I mean, what is the line on that? Because I feel like some people think that if you just bring it up, it's homophobic. And I just completely disagree with that.

Yes, I agree with you 100% that the subjects are always going to be completely open. You can talk about anything you want on stage people may or may not find it funny the question is do you find it funny and can you find a way to relay it to an audience if that's your intent just finding humor in life there's nothing wrong with that and you could you know you could talk about any subject you want but that's not what they were doing back then they They were just destroying gay people. You know, you remember when Sebastian Bach from Skid Row had that T-shirt on? Yeah.

AIDS kills fags dead. Yeah. Yeah, man. You could find it. Pull up the picture. It was a huge controversy. It was like, why would you say that? It's so weird.

That is as homophobic as you can get. It's probably the worst. Well, it's just right up there with God Hates Facts, that Phelps guy that died recently. Walking around with a shirt on like that, someone thought that was cool. It's cooler than not wearing that shirt. There it is.

Is there irony lost in the way he's pouting with his gay lips and his fucking Farrah Fawcett hair? And just that whole group of that music genre Is there irony lost in the way he's pouting with his gay lips and his fucking Farrah Fawcett hair? And just that whole group of that music genre was all dudes who tried to look like chicks. Yeah. You remember when you first saw the Poison CD? You're like, those are some smoking hot chicks. And your friend's like, dude, those are guys.

You're like, aww. How weird. What a weird time in music, man. I blame Rob Halford. Because Rob Halford of Judasas priest who was gay as fuck and cool as shit yeah all around bad motherfucker he he's such a bad motherfucker that he was wearing like obvious gay biker garb and he got people to think that gay biker garb like on stage was something cool yeah so manly shit and because he was sort of closeted, I guess it was understood in the industry,

but they didn't talk about it, but he didn't hide it. It was one of those things. He wasn't like Liberace back in the day. Just flaming. Constantly asking when he was going to get married. It was a different sort of a scenario, but Rob Halford, he changed like metal. They all started dressing like that. They all started dressing like gay bikers.

And I think that during that time time everybody got so perplexed i think bad gay motherfuckers just badass gay dudes infiltrated the music business and got everyone to dress like a homo yeah they all everyone was wearing spandex tights and their cock was pinned tight to their pants makeup everybody looked like transsexuals that's not but that's not for women. Like that flowing lock thing with the tight pants. Chicks like the Marlboro Man, okay? They want a guy who's built like Don Fry, who's got like, they know he's got a six pack

under that like fucking cowboy shirt, but they don't want to see it on the outside. That's a guy thing. Like guys want to see like yoga pants on a chick yeah like a girl could walk down the street with yoga pants and a camel toe totally acceptable yes a guy walked down the street with fucking ballet tights on and no shirt jesus christ is you jackman that's not real yeah no it's not come on that's not real that guy's face is photoshopped you're so full of shit look at that guy on the left tell me his face that's not real. That guy's face is photoshopped. You're so full of shit. Look at that guy on the left. Tell me his face is photoshopped.

That's not real. Look at the lighting. The lighting is totally different. That's not real. Their shadows are in the wrong direction. Hugh Jackman's shadow is coming towards us. This guy's shadow is going towards his left shoulder. That's not real.

Get the fuck out of here. How dare you? Think that dude's HGH-ing? Probably, yeah, if he's smart. Shred it out, bro. We were, for whatever reason, Brian was obsessed with the fact that Hugh Jackman was gay. He wouldn't stop talking about it. His fucking hands were moving.

He kept puffing on the glass dick. He was like, here, Hugh Jackman's gay. There's multiple pictures of him holding hands with guys. Come on, son. There's multiple pictures of me with big black dicks in my mouth. Yeah, but I did it. Wait a minute, hold on a second. Hold on a second.

Back that up, because one of those look real. Go ahead, go piss, you weak-bladdered son of a bitch. Who's the guy with the beard? He's a Wolverine fan. He's telling him how watching that movie made him cure cancer. That's what it is. So Hugh Jackman's the guy on the right. Let me see, is he really holding that guy's hand or is that a perspective thing?

That looked like a perspective thing. Who cares if he's gay? But it's a weird thing. Like a chick can be gay, like a Jodie Foster. And everyone knows she's gay, she's out, it's all good. And she could play a... Okay, that is super gay. God, what a sexy beast he is.

He looks super gay. God, what a sexy beast he is. That's frolic. He looks so big. But, you know, if a woman like Jodie Foster decides to come out and, you know, proclaims that she's gay, that's not real either. Stop it. Just stop. Stop now. He's a woo. I lost my pants. What's this guy doing sucking my cock?

I didn't plan this. A woman can still play a heterosexual woman, but a man has a really hard time. Unless it's that, the dude on How I Met Your Mother. What's his name?

Neil Patrick Harris. Neil Patrick Harris is gay. Because he's so lovable. Yeah. Well, he's not just lovable. He plays a guy who's like a ladies' man on the show, which is quite hilarious. You know why I think, though?

I think because he has- From that Howard Kumar movie where he plays such a pimp, I think that's kind of burnt in people's thoughts still. I never saw that movie, so I have no idea what that's about. The White Castle. Never saw it. Never? No.

But he's a funny guy and a talented actor. I think that's more likely than anything. And I think we're in a different time. I think people like supporting the idea of a guy being out and open. You know, I think especially in Hollywood, that's like the place where people. But when it comes to movies, movies are a different animal. Because movies, you've got to sell tickets. You've got to sell hard fucking tickets.

And, you know, if the Midwest No worries, I'm just talking. If the Midwest comes over and, you know, they see that some big gay guy like Hugh Jackman is in some fucking movie where he's playing the girlfriend to, who's the chick that's always on Sports Illustrated? Kate Upton?

Oh, yeah. She's playing Kate Upton's He's playing Kate Upton's husband. You're gonna be like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, he's gay. Look at that picture. That's it. He wins. He wins. He wins. He's big. He's playing Kate Upton's husband. You're going to like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, he's gay. Look at that picture. That's it. He wins.

He wins. He wins. He's big. He's gay. He's beautiful. He's got it both ways. The New York Times apparently wrote a thing about him being bi, right? That's what you guys are saying?

Yeah. But I think that's just someone's wishful thinking because he does musicals. Yeah. You know? If you like theater, musical theater, apparently you got to be gay. Yeah. But imagine if you were straight theater, apparently you got to be gay. Yeah. But imagine if you were straight, how much ass you'd be crushing. Because it'd be you, a bunch of gay dudes, and chicks everywhere.

If you were in musical theater? Yeah, if you were a straight guy in musical theater. You really think women are the primary viewers of musical theater? I think there's, I mean, acting and dancing. How dare you? Dancers in musical theater? Just push your seat back and think this over. Put your hand on your chin like this.

Do this. Is that fucking mixing? No. The whole room is not gay. The whole audience is gay. It's mostly gay and menopausal women. That's who goes to see musicals. And a few confused young girls who eventually abandon the art form.

And they just go to rock concerts? Yeah, they want to look cool in college. They say, oh my god, I love musicals. And then they go and they realize musicals are dog shit. If it was any good, it would be in a goddamn movie. You'd be able to see things happen, real monsters, explosions. It is. But it's more like a comedy performance than it is a musical.

They call it a musical, but it's really like a sketch comedy performance, like a Saturday Night Live piece that goes on for an hour and a half. That's really what it's like. It's really like a sketch comedy performance like a saturday night live piece that goes on for an hour and a half i mean that's really what it's like it's brilliant good but to call that a musical no musicals are drab there's like fucking there's songs in there about romance and love and the two people meet again they're nonsense we have movies now if you want to tell me chicago chicks don't like the musical Chicago? They love the dancing and stuff? I've seen the musical Chicago,

and it is dog shit. I know, but you're not... It's dog shit, and I went to watch a very good friend of mine. I went to support her and sit there and watch Chicago. And when it was halfway through, we were all sitting around,

we were all talking, and we're like, so what do you think? Well, it's really, really good. Like, everybody was like, you know, like hedging their words. I go, it's dog shit. It's unwatchable dog shit. And finally, the older gentleman in the group who we looked to for guidance goes,

I've never been a fan of the art form. It's fucking terrible. And we were like, it's not good, right? Like, what's going on here? Like, go see. They don't do cats anymore. But if you went to see cats, halfway through cats, be like what the fuck am i watching what are you doing to me here this is a murderous assault on my attention span and somehow or another you've convinced two i'm sure

a lot of people think that in my act but that's fine you don't have to go see it all right some people like it some people like cats i get that as well i just don't understand those people at all have you heard of that oh have you heard of that movie that's uh like or i mean that play that's like where guys all act like horses there's like three people i heard that's pretty sweet i think you should go you should go and give a full lion's king you wouldn't see lion's king I'd see Lions King. Fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. I saw Cirque du Soleil, and that was dope.

Yeah, that was awesome. Cirque du Soleil, because it's like watching the Olympics with music. It's like you're watching people do shit that's impossible. Guys are doing handstands, and they have a woman attached to their hand, and they're supporting her. They have one hand on the ground, one hand up in the air that's holding a woman attached to their hand and they're supporting her. They have one hand on the ground, one hand up in the air that's holding a woman. You're like, how are you even fucking doing that?

There's guys that are doing handstands on each other's arms. Unbelievable. It's insane. You feel so weak and feeble. More so than going to see the UFC. You feel weak and feeble when you go to Cirque du Soleil. Because you watch them do things and you're like, how long would it take me to even come close to being able to...

Fuck, I can't do that. If I had those skills, I'd become a ninja. Didn't someone die recently at Cirque du Soleil? Yeah. They did, right? Or somebody... No, it was Ringling Brothers? No, no, no.

It was both. It was Cirque du Soleil and then there was like nine people that died. I went and saw a show where the guy missed the thing, and he just fell. And the whole room was just quiet. How was he? He got back up, but man. Whoa. I'm sure he took a beating off stage.

How far did he fall? Only like about six or seven feet, I guess. That's still, man. Jump from the ceiling. That would fuck you up. And fall? How tall is that ceiling? Is it about eight feet? No, yeah, it's got to be more than that. Jump from the ceiling. That would fuck you up. And fall? How tall is that ceiling? Is it about eight feet?

No, it's got to be more than that. Like ten? Eight. Eight, nine to the drop ceiling? Let's go nine. Okay, let's go nine. You know, that would suck. That would suck.

That would suck. And hurt. Boom. We're so weak. My cat is 17 fucking years old. I got a cat that I've had forever, man. My sister gave him to me, her to me. She had a bunch of kittens.

They were all these wacky kittens. And her cat, she had this one cat. Wacky kittens. They lived in this rural place, and they didn't fix their cat, and their cat wound up getting fucked by some other cat. Oh, I've heard cats fucking outside my door. It sounds like murder is going on. Well, anybody who does that, you release a male cat,

you're creating a real fucking problem. And a spayed and unspayed female cat, you're creating a real fucking problem. Feral cats are a fucking huge issue. Not just because of the fact that they decimate bird populations and things along those lines, but also because of diseases they carry. They're the number one purveyor of this toxoplasma and toxoplasmosis bacteria or disease, rather,

parasite that people have. Really common in third world countries. Dirty pussies. It affects your brain, does a lot of fucked up shit to your brain. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and it's super common. And it also, the cat shit gets in the meat. It's like a real issue with fucking cats.

Isn't there something about like some bacteria that gets in, or a virus that gets into a mouse's head and tells it to run inside the... It's a rat. What it does is, I've talked about this many times in this podcast, but it's been a long time, more than a year. The way it works is it rewires the rat's sexual reward system.

It makes the rat sexually attracted to the smell of cat piss to the point where his testes swell up and he's in estrus. He's hurting. He's got blue balls because he smells this cat piss. Like Red Band on Hot Rod 5000? Like Red Band all day. All day. All day. So he's essentially on a double dose of Cialis with an added...

Acorns. Well, it does a weird thing to their fear system. It hijacks their fear system, so they're not afraid of cats anymore. There's videos. Pull up this video brian um it's uh toxoplasmosis infected rat chases cat this rat is running after the cat trying to get some cat piss it's like running up to the cat's ass it has no fear of the cats. So cats eat these rats. And then the cats get it. And apparently it doesn't really affect the behavior of the cats because cats are evil from the jump.

They're evil from the jump. They're evil from the jump. It doesn't make them more evil. They don't give a fuck anyway. They're like the worst roommate ever. They're like, pick up my shit, feed me, I'm out of here. This is the video. These cats are like, what the fuck is going on?

Now look, this rat, you can kill the language, but this rat starts going towards these cats and he's like literally trying to get at their bag. Give me that butt. Look, that rat is not afraid. He just jumped on that cat's back. Look how crazy that is. Give me that butt. Yo, dude, how crazy is that?

That rat just jumped on that cat's back. Look how crazy that is. Give me that butt. Yo, dude, how crazy is that? That rat just jumped on that cat's back. They're not afraid of cats at all. Like, how does that even happen? Rats are gangster, man. They really are gangster animals. But why does that virus come around or that bacteria, whatever it is,

and how does that form and how did Noda do that to that mouse and make that happen? There's only one answer. Jesus. It is the Jesus, man. Jesus is the answer. It must be God. Why, Jesus?

Yeah, well, look, God has a plan, Sam. He has a plan for that rat's and that cat's ass? Yes. Yes. And people right now that are angry, they're angry. And you know why you're angry? You know why you're angry? Because what I'm saying makes you feel like what you believe is silly.

And do you know why? Why? Wait for it. Because what you believe is silly. Silly talk. If it wasn't silly, I wouldn't be able to make you angry. If, like, people were joking around about what men want to have sex with women, what, because it feels good?

You'd be like, okay that's that's the reason why heterophobic doesn't work like if homophobic people are looking at us like yeah what do you but you fuck girls what are you a breeder you'd be like okay you're just being mean you're not hurting my feelings i feel your mean energy but this shit doesn't work doesn't change how i feel about life you know that's what's going on sam i get it man it's just weird and i was talking about this on stage the other day about how like this is a bit you working on another bit right now no but i'm just saying that if it goes along the lines of what you're saying is this like you know there's all this these people who are conservative morals and stuff they don't oh you shouldn't do this't do this, shouldn't do that, shouldn't do that because you've been told this over these years. But yet over the last century or so, most of those thoughts have been debunked.

Meaning there's places where people allow what you're saying is evil and it's going to ruin society and society is going to crumble. People allow this to happen, and it doesn't. And so what are you saying about it? Because if, like, all this stuff where you're like, you shouldn't pay for sex, you shouldn't do drugs, you shouldn't do all this shit because it gets the, you know, the God. Yeah, in Amsterdam, all that is legal, and there's not fires coming from the skies

and flying monkeys teabagging everybody. And, you know, it's been proven that that... Well, suppression's not good for people. They don't like it. It's a bad way to raise children. It's a bad way to raise a nation. Right. It's just people don't like suppression.

It's really that simple. They don't like it. They get upset. You're another person, and you're telling the guy what to do. You're telling the guy he can't jerk off. What does that guy want to do? He wants to jerk off as does that guy want to do? He wants to jerk off as soon as he gets away from you He wants to bolt doors and just jerk off in privacy

And then feel terrible about it And then repent It just makes no sense You know Kellogg's? The guy from the cereal You've got to read this book Sex at Dawn By this guy Chris Ryan He's a podcast guest, fascinating guy.

I've read that book. I've done a bunch of podcasts with him and Duncan Trussell. He's a really interesting guy. But one of the things that he set me hip to was like, Kellogg's, you can find this online, created cornflakes, created mild-tasting food to keep people from getting sexually aroused, said that he lived with his wife for like 40 years

and bragged about never having had sex with her, but kept a male intern who would give him daily enemas. That's fucking Kellogg's. So think about that. Repressing sexual thoughts. Unbelievable. Repressing and actively, actively repressing sexual thoughts

and yet obviously fighting off the gay tooth, claw, and fang. Right? Obviously fighting off the gay. The guy had a male assistant who used to give him enemas. That mustache is gay. He's gay as fuck. Look at that. That's a cinema face, boy.

Put a leather paperboy cap on him and no shirt and cut off jeans. Okay. You see it. Please do. Let me do it right now. That's your project now. I mean, if you see that guy's face, you probably get an even better picture of him

where you could go full fucking body. And then go with the color-specific thing. Don't make it an obvious Photoshop. Make it really look real. I wonder if she was getting a dick on the side. Mrs. Kellogg's. Oh, Mrs. Kellogg was fucking a personal trainer. They didn't even have personal trainers back then. Kellogg's. Oh, Mrs. Kellogg was fucking a personal trainer. They didn't even have

personal trainers back then. She invented it. She invented it. She invented it just so she could have somebody touch me. Did Jesus touch me? Unbelievable.

Well, that's people, man. People that are suppressing other people are usually doing it to try to suppress something in themselves. That's why a lot of conservatives, I just, I just, it's like you're lying.

I think a lot. I'm not judging all, but it's like when you sit there and you say, oh, you shouldn't do this, this, and this, most of the time you're doing this, this, and this. You just want to put laws on other people. I go to Arizona a lot to do gigs, and it's a fun state to do gigs, but they have all these crazy laws. Yeah, they party more than anybody i know yeah so it's like they're just making laws for other people that doesn't apply to them why do you think that is what do you think that is i don't get it i don't know why man you're right it's fear it's

also there's here's the other problem with fear and this idea of everyone should be loving there's certain folks that are already done. See, this is one of the real problems, okay? This is one of the real problems with society as a whole, cultural in general, and just human interaction. This is one of the real problems, is that some people are already done. Somebody's made them, they've done a piss poor job of feeding them, raising them, and then sending them out into the world. And they're fucked. These people are fucked. Out the gate.

And if you can run into those people, they can ruin your fucking life. And that's a fact. So there's no way of fixing them either, by the way. They might fix themselves, but it depends on the severity of how fucked up they are. Some are too far fucked you never bring them back and those people are out there wandering through the world too so when people see that and they see that you can't treat that

with love and some people say well you gotta treat them with love and they go oh you fucking liberals ruin everything and then you have this division between people that are conservative and that care and then people who are liberal than care. And the liberal people think the conservatives are cruel. And the conservative people think that the liberals have, you know, some idealized view of the world that doesn't work and only works because hard men are out there doing the bad deeds to keep the world safe. And they fucking support the troops on their bumper. Yeah. The real problem's a mess it's huge it's a mess it's constantly changing and it's going on all the time whether you like it or not when we sit in this podcast room for three hours and talk there's murders and rapes and robberies and car accidents and lies and there's just so many people that it's going on in some way, shape, or form.

Someone's doing something fucked up. Yes. And that's why we need to figure out how, first and foremost, how to fix people that are fucked up. That should be before we talk about going to Mars. What we should be concentrating as a whole, as a culture, is not just figuring out how to fucking frack or figuring out how to pull out of Afghanistan. How do we fix all these fucking crazy people? Yeah. How do we fix them?

Can you fix them? Could it be done with mushrooms and MDMA and electroshock therapy? Can we change their blood? Can we add artificial fucking genes to their system that induces empathy is there a way is if there's not a way then we're always going to have this vicious cycle of dealing with shitty people shitty people making more shitty people shitty people fucking shitty people up people dealing with people who fuck them up their whole life in therapy their whole life you know constantly talking about the abuse that happened to them when they're young because

it's defined them as a person yep and i also feel that there's so many people making money off of shitty people. You know, the drug war, the privatized prisons and stuff like that, that you're fighting against this group who it's not in their best interest that these people get fixed. Yeah. Well, it's like anything else, anything that comes comes along even if it's a legit issue like global climate change you know the real issue that a lot of people have when it comes to global climate change is when you see a guy like al gore who's made a fuckload of money off of climate change and people start saying oh it's a business these guys they have a vested interest there's thousands and thousands of people like yes but still the world's the fucking the climate is changing right you know but yes yes people are making money off, but still, the world's, the fucking, the climate is changing.

Right. You know, but yes, yes, people are making money off it. But it doesn't mean that it's all bullshit. Like, there's a lot going on here, man. It's not an, it's like almost everything else in life. It's not a black and white issue. There's a whole lot of different fucking things going on. There's people that are bad.

Yes. And then there's a problem. And then there's people that are bad that that profit off of a real problem too did you watch the last vice or two vices ago when they were doing about the drought in texas oh i didn't see that and people were just praying to god for this and then they bring do you believe in global warming nah not really but then they would have singing hymns to god to it's just so interesting about how like people manipulated other people to believe in their best interest when you're like it's like well it's not just that though it's also voluntary i've seen people that want to believe that the world is not changing temperature i've seen people

that want to believe in global warming simply because it's like the conservative viewpoint they're like oh oh, come on. Right, because they've been told that from the top. You know, I had this guy, Randall Carlson, on the podcast recently who talked about climate change throughout the history, the known history of the Earth, and it was incredibly fascinating. And he absolutely believes that human beings and our carbon footprint plays a part in global warming.

But he said the real issue is there's a lot of other factors that play a part, and they have throughout history. Like we're concerning ourselves primarily with what people have done, and we have done a fucked up job on this earth. He said, I'm more concerned with the particulate matter, like burning coal and pollution and stuff, what it does to our air quality, than I am the actual warming. Because he started going off about global cooling and about what it used to be air quality than I am the actual warming. Because he started going off about global cooling

and about what it used to be like here on Earth. And it was one of the most terrifying podcasts I've ever listened to. Jesus. Because he knows a lot. And he's not just making shit up. He's talking about ice core samples. He's talking about known history. Even just the known history, totally non-controversial known history

that all scientists accept is that 10,000 years ago, North America was almost entirely covered with ice. And that there was a two-mile high thick wall of ice over Canada. Oh my God! Two miles. That is insane! It's unbelievably insane.

It's unbelievably insane and it's a fact. Oh, man. That's real. It's like this fine line between wanting to know the facts And just like it's out of my hands Dude he was also talking about some Without a doubt Beyond a shadow of a doubt Factual evidence about the amount of species

That used to exist during that time That died off Like a huge percentage of all the animals That were alive back then Are gone That's just 10,000 years ago It are gone are gone that's just 10 000 years ago it was unbelievably scary so it's just a cycle in a weird way well it's not just a cycle he believes that it ended abruptly and it probably ended because of a meteor impact

like that cycle was like how people dealt with life just like those people that live up in edmonton you know the people that were in a place like Canada, there was nobody there. Yeah. The reason why there's so few fucking people in Canada and they're so cool is because they've only been there for a couple of hundred years. Everything's fresh and new, like a new chick. Yeah, there was fucking nobody there. There was Native Americans, you know, some of them had ventured up there, excuse me, but most of them, you know, most of them fucking came, you know, around the same time that

settlers came to North America, you know around the same time that settlers came to uh north america you know the columbus days that's most of the uh the people that wound up settling up there in canada before that man not much and well you know why is that because a few fucking thousand years ago it was under ice two miles giant giant glaciers dude when i was there three feet dropped the day I flew in of snow. I'm like, this is insane. Like, giant walls of snow in between each lane as you're driving, where there should have been, like, traffic, little things, man. Boom. Just giant walls of snow.

And occasionally polar bears. And occasionally polar bears. I haven't seen one in Edmonton. Well, in Edmonton, a woman was working on a rig recently. She got killed eating live by a black bear. What? Yeah. Oh.

Which is rare. Black bears usually don't eat people. But they catch you slipping. Bears, you know, they look at you and go, hmm, I might be able to make this happen. Let me chow down on that tasty hot pocket. You know what they're really worried about? They're really worried about hybrids. Grizzlies and polar bears are apparently getting their freak on.

Little interracial. So the hybrids are very different than the regular grizzlies. Faster, stronger, Blake Griffins. Well, they're more like polar bears who are strictly carnivores. So the difference between a grizzly bear and a polar bear is if you see a grizzly bear, that bear might not give a fuck about you. If you see a grizzly bear out in the fields and they're eating berries, that bear might just look at you and go, I'm eating. I don't give a fuck. It's plenty of food. He's not hungry at all. So

if a bear has a belly full of berries and it's just sitting there chewing along, he doesn't give a fuck at all. But if a grizzly bear sees you and you're hungry, is that the guy? Yeah, and you've been hanging out. Yeah, he looks pretty gay. It's Kellogg. Me and Kellogg. I like your chest tattoo. Yeah, it's Barry Brock Lesnar. It's Kellogg. Me and Kellogg. I like your chest tattoo. Yeah, it's very Brock Lesnar. It's a new thing I'm working on.

Jesus. A polar bear sees you, you better run. Is it worth running? Because all polar bears do is eat meat. That's all they do. So anything that's moving, a polar bear is going to eat.

There's no berries. That's why I don't go where polar bears are. That's a good move. That's why I go to La Jolla, California. That's a good move. That's why I go to La Jolla, California. That's a good move. Where they laugh at me when I run. There's a polar bear

down in the zoo. Careful. That motherfucker gets out. You're doomed. He'll find me because he sees how slow I run. He'll give you a thumbs up.

He'll let you go. It's like when you see a retarded fish. You see a fish swimming sideways. You don't try to snag it. Let that one go. Let that one go downriver.

Do you see all the sardines that are washing up in Venice right now? Because the water got so hot that it's oxygen. Tons and tons. And so now sharks are just dying and all these fish keep on dying because there's no oxygen because there's so many sardines. Yeah, they call that dead zones apparently. It happens all the time in the ocean. It smells like asshole. Yeah, it's bad.

Not good asshole either. They found out a way that they think they're going to be able to bring back plant vegetation and shit in the ocean and sort of reseed areas and re-oxygenate the ocean. Oh, that's cool. Oxygenate.

And it involves dumping iron in the water. Like iron scraps and iron. It's a really interesting thing. I read about it. I'll pull it up. The idea was that dumping iron into the ocean would increase the amount of plankton and that all these plants would grow off of the rusting iron.

The metal in the iron would actually facilitate plant life. Yeah, and that plant life would develop more oxygen in the ocean. It was really kind of interesting shit, man, dumping iron in the ocean. There are some people who are way smarter than I am. Yes. Yeah, in this room. Dude, I'm a human being. I know.

I hear you. I have feelings. I know you do. Thank you, dude. Jesus Christ. What do you need? A cookie? There, I put your hand down. Okay, stop. I hear you. I have feelings. I know you do. Thank you, dude. Jesus Christ. What do you need? A cookie? There, I put your hand down. Okay, stop. It's in your pants.

That's enough. Yeah, adding iron to the oceans, they're slowing down global warming. This is the idea. And they're throwing, this is a weird fucking idea, but it kind of makes sense. The premise is simple. And they're throwing, this is a weird fucking idea, but it kind of makes sense. The premise is simple. It says, iron acts as a fertilizer for many plants,

and some, like the phytoplankton that forms the baseline of marine food web, need to grow. They need it to grow, and adding iron to the water stimulates phytoplankton growth, which in turn gobble up carbon dioxide through photosynthesis. This results in a decrease in carbon dioxide and reduces temperature since carbon dioxide is one of the main gases responsible for trapping heat on the Earth's surface through the greenhouse effect. Interesting. Unbelievable. That's interesting shit.

Yeah, that's the other thing that this guy, Randall Carlson, was talking about is how this increase in carbon dioxide that we have they're also directly correlating it with an increase in plant growth which is kind of fucked because we always think of like people adding carbon dioxide to the air being a poison and they were poisoning the air but the reality is that plants need carbon dioxide to grow so it's not saying that you should go out and burn carbon dioxide to fucking help the plants but it's one of those things. So it's not saying that you should go out and burn carbon dioxide to fucking help the plants, but it's one of those things, again, where it's not black and white.

Well, isn't that their deforestation, they're cutting down the plants, mean there's less plants to take in the CO2 and that's where the problem is right now? No, that's no. Okay. But what he's saying is there's more forest than before, that forests are actually increasing in size and there's more plants. The plant growth is actually increasing because of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. The real problem with what they're doing in the Amazon is that they're changing the whole weather system in those places. Because these plants, they're responsible for like, the whole ecosystem is wrapped around these plants. And you chop them down, then you have these dry areas just exposed to the sun.

Where they weren't exposed to the sun before because there's this deep canopy of leaves and the rain, the moisture stays there. Yeah, this is just flat. And so then it becomes, they don't have the root system, so then you get mudslides, and then the ground, it becomes very difficult to grow crops on it. It's really kind of fucking crazy, like, what they're doing. They're just chopping down trees, and thousands and thousands of acres just... Deforestation. Yeah. That's not good.

What about cows farting? Do you ever buy into that, that that's a big problem? I always feel like they just picked something that they could blame it on. Like, there's way more people. No. But the amount of impact that a cow has is way more powerful than the amount of impact that a person has. But there's way more people. Yes.

Cow farts are dangerous. Like, for every cow, there's probably probably what? 100, 200, 300, 400 people? I don't know. But here it says... My dad can crush the ecosystem. Scientists say cow farts are more dangerous than they feared. This is true, man. This is a real study. Study has revealed

that the amount of methane, a greenhouse gas 20 times more potent but far less prevalent than CO2. So it would be 20 cows to every person to balance that out. Or 20 people to every cow, rather, to balance that out. Because it's 20 times more potent if a cow was the size of a person. But a cow is way bigger than a person, so it's even more. So a cow is probably like five times bigger than a person.

So instead of 20 times, probably 100 times more impact. That's my unscientific calculation. A cow fart is destroying the environment. That's crazy. 20 times more potent, far less prevalent than CO2. Released into the U.S. atmosphere, it's significantly higher than previously thought. We find greenhouse gas emissions from agriculture and fossil fuel extraction and processing, i.e. oil or natural gas, are likely a factor of two or greater than cited in existing studies. Whoa.

So agriculture just by itself is a big impact. Unbelievable. Yeah. Cows. Methane. Methane is a fucking issue, though, man. When I used to visit my parents, my parents used to live in Pennsylvania. I used to drive from New York to rural Pennsylvania. And there's this stretch of highway where it's all farms, dairy farms, and slaughterhouses and shit.

I guess it's all cows. It's unbelievably bad smelling. Like, you can't imagine these poor fucking people that have to live in these areas. And it was hot. It was in the summer. Some people just accept areas and it was hot it was in the summer some people just accept that it goes back to edmonton some people just accept that i'm from kind of that area i'm from courtland new york which is is pennsylvania and courtland are same kind of country you know i'm saying i got i have tons of cows in my hometown man really yeah i mean i didn't realize how redneck my hometown, man. Really? Yeah. I mean, I didn't realize how redneck my hometown was until I left it. What does it smell like when you go back? Because they say that olfactory senses,

like the sense of smell, is... Manure everywhere. You can smell it. Olfactory senses, the sense of smell, is something that alters. It only picks up alterations in smell. It doesn't pick up constant smells. So if you live in a town, and the town stinks,

like some of those industrial pollution places in New Jersey, when you're driving through New Jersey and you smell industrial pollution, those towns, they don't smell it. You only smell it because you're driving from fresh air or reasonably fresh air into that area. That's how it used to be when I went to Niagara Falls. They had this giant factory called Hooker Chemicals, and that's what the name of it was, Hooker Chemicals.

And you would drive in, you're like, this stinks. Like paper plants. Paper plants stink. Like up in Portland. Now, here's the thing about Hooker Chemicals. It's pretty much been closed down, but they won't completely close it down. Because if they completely close it down, then they're going to have to go through and clean it up, all the environmental cleanup. So they just keep like 30 employees in this giant factory that's just huge,

and they just keep it open. Because it's cheaper for them to do that than it is for them to hire someone to come in and clean it up. That makes sense. There was something, Love Canal. Do you remember the old Love Canal thing? That's Hooker Chemicals. They dumped all these.

That's the same company? Yep. And they're still open yeah and they won't close it down because then they have to clean up the environmental mistakes that's awful that's weird that they let them get away with that well i yeah it's because it's like a one of those legacy companies it's been around for a long time i think that's just probably the rule if you just demolish or shut something down, you've got to clean it up so it's environmentally safe. So these guys just keep it going because it's cheaper to do that. That is so fucked up.

That's so weird. Well, it's the same thing with GM right now with their cars, right? They knew forever. Don't they do this somewhere where they guesstimate how much it would cost to do a recall versus how much it would cost to go to court? And if... Yeah, if something's cheaper, they go with the cheaper option. Oh, man, I'm not sure, dude. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure about that. I think they do do that. I think that was the big thing on... What was the... You got to pull that shit up. You can't just say that. What was the You gotta pull that shit up

You can't just say that That is If it's cheaper To Go to court To go to court But if it's Oh you shut

Shut the fuck up dude Seriously Okay I'll shut up You gotta google that You can't say that You can't say that when it comes to cars man Everything Comes to any major corporation

What's going to cause us more A recall or going to court If a recall is cheaper They'll do that I've heard it You can't just say that When you say something like that You've got to really know what you're saying

You're saying GM You're saying a specific company Somebody might have gotten in trouble for some sort of recall, but it couldn't have been a safety issue. Google that. Okay, I'll Google it right now. Somebody Google it. GM. Am I saying... Okay.

Avoids recall. Google whether corporations decide whether recall or court is cheaper. They go with the cheaper option. Can you do that? I'm doing that right now. It seems like it's from a movie because I remember something like that.

Right now, there's not enough people that are having the problem, so we're not going to worry about it. Yeah, they guess if it's cheaper for them to... You can't just say that. Here's the problem with just saying something like that. You have to really know what the fuck you're saying. You've got to really know what you're saying. Because if you just say it, then you don't have to do that anymore. It's 2014. It is?

You can actually find out. So if you want to talk about something and you want to talk about something as serious as someone not doing a recall because they'd rather just like get sued because they can save money that way. Yeah. You gotta know what the fuck you're saying. But I'm saying that I know that. But you don't know that because you're not pulling up any facts.

You're not stating any facts. I got it in here, the supercomputer. No, no, no, no, dude. Which is great haircut. What you're doing is some legacy shit. You don't have to do that anymore. You have a fucking iPhone. You know how to get online.

The battery's dead. Oh, well, plug it in, son. Well, it's the old one. Oh, well, you fucking cheap bastard. Get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one when I get done. With this, I'm going to drive right back. Well, I'm gonna go get a new one when I get done with this well I'm sure

there's been some problems with uh oversight I'm sure there's been some problems with recalls but saying that they like

actively got together and said hey let's just uh not fucking let's just not recall these things and just take our roll our chances

with the lawsuit because the study has shown that we can save money if we go that route. I believe that's what happens. You can't just say that. Okay, I will not say that.

That's how you get sued. I understand that. You can get sued, Sam. What if GM comes down with the hammer of the law? Well, they can take what I don't have. Why would you say that? You have a number 11 on the fucking iTunes charts right now. It's called you can do it.

Sue me for the move. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. Go, Rocky. Win, Rocky. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. Did you ever thought about doing a song, like a wacky song to go along with that?

No. I do like Red Band's great songs, though. You should do some live music songs. GM says, safety is our top priority, and today's announcement puts all manufacturers on notice that they will be held accountable if they fail to quickly report and address safety-related defects. This is U.S. Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx with two X's. GM efforts in this case and called on Congress to support a move to increase the penalties the regulator can levy in cases like this from a maximum of $35 million to $300 million, sending an even stronger message that delays will not be tolerated. So this is what they're saying. The GM was fined $35 million and agreed to take part in unprecedented oversight requirements on Friday over its

massive recall of cars with faulty ignition switches that have been linked to 13 deaths. The U.S. Department of Transportation imposed the record civil penalty for the automaker's failure to report a safety defect in the vehicle to the federal government in a timely manner. So they didn't report it in time. What does that mean? Did they find out that it was bad and didn't report it in time? Have you seen John Oliver's new show? But hold on a second.

We should figure this out because we've been talking about this for a while. Yeah, it has something to do with that. Well, go ahead. Talk. I found an article to help you out, Sam. On justice.org, there's a They All Knew and Failed To PDF. It's called They K knew and failed to PDF it's called they knew and failed to and these are true stories of corporations that knew their products were dangerous

sometimes deadly but they failed to do anything about it and one of the things it says is a car company that discovers that if it does not spend $11 per car to fix a defect hundreds of people will be horribly burned and decides it would be cheaper to let them burn. What company did that?

I don't know, but it's on justice.org, though. There's a whole PDF. Wait a minute. We've got to read that. It actually says that? Yeah, right here. But what company? A car company just says a car company?

And it goes through all of it. Like here's medical devices like heart defibrillators. What is the title of it again? It's called they all they knew and failed to uh true true stories of corporations that knew their products were dangerous sometimes deadly so as far as uh this gm thing it looks like they definitely fucked up well you know the reason i brought up john oliver because he got he was talking about these memos in which they would tell their employees words they could not use

and it's crazy like they knew that these were death traps and that they they were telling their employees you you know you can't say certain words about the cars to describe the cars and they were like insane words like Kevorkian-esque and stuff like that. Here's one from Firestone Tires. I guess that they... They knew their tires were bad? Yeah. I remember that, too, I think. They finally announced...

They knew about it in 1997 and then finally announced it in 2000. You know, I think that that was a different era. You know, that sounds crazy, but 1996, 1997, like comparing that to 2014, I mean, I know that was only 20 years ago or 18 years ago, but isn't it fascinating that that might as well

have been 100 fucking years ago? Because that was all pre-internet. Especially in terms of the internet. Ford Pinto. Remember the Pinto when it used to blow up all the time? Oh, yeah. They found out, they actually had a chart where it says that 180 burn deaths would be 200,000 per death, and then they just added up how much it would cost to recall $11 per car with, looks like, 11 million cars.

Also, they calculated severe burns, serious burns, 2,100 burn vehicles. And it all came to $49.5 million. But if to recall, 11 million cars came to $137 million whether but if to recall 11 million cars came to 137 million yeah oh my god that's unbelievable but you know the whole thing was that gm was training their their their their people their employees how to answer these questions how to deflect how to do all this stuff, because they knew they had a faulty thing. And when was this?

This was when they discovered the faulty part in their car. Yeah, well, the actual thing was an ignition switch that disabled the airbags. And the Chevy Cobalt and the Saturn Ion. Didn't you have a Saturn Ion? What do you have? Did you have one of those a long time ago? A Saturn something? Oh, a Saturn L200.

Oh, and the Ion and the Cobalt, they knew about it for 10 years. Chevy Malibu. General Motors knew for several decades that the placement of the fuel tank in the Chevy Malibu created a big risk exploding in the event of a rear collision. So for a couple of decades, they knew that was. I never even heard about that with the Malibu. I always heard it with the Pinto. That was like a joke.

That the Pinto would blow up. That was a fucking joke. I remember that. I saw someone use the Pinto as a punchline the other day. And I'm like, dude, nobody gets that reference. A hipster ironic. Yeah. At this point, it's kind of hipster ironic.

It's like old Milwaukee beer. Yeah. Yeah. At this point, it's kind of hipster ironic. It's like old Milwaukee beer. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, that's just crazy is when people start picking cash over lives. That makes it sad. Well, it's just fucking evil. Now, that paper that you saw, that was an internal paper? Is that what that was?

Yeah. This is actually from court records where GM actually decided that they could have up to 500 fatalities per year. Each fatality is valued at $200,000. There are approximately 41 million GM automobiles currently operating on the U.S. highways. And so they were like, you know, doing the math. Okay, but were they doing the math about a particular issue? Chevy Malibu, yeah.

Oh, that Malibu that blows up. Oh, my God. That's so awful. Yeah, the fuel tank. Oh, my God. That's so awful. I don't want to ever buy a Chevy again. I don't want to ever buy a Ford again either because the Ford fucking Pinto. It's not the same people anymore, obviously. Obviously. It's a totally different group of people.

But still, it's like, okay, what is it? Do we recall or is it going to be cheaper just to go to court and deal with lawsuits? That's what sucks. It's kind of like one of those things that I don't think is going to be around in the future. I think with WikiLeaks and shit along these lines, you're not going to be able to get away with that. You're not going to be able to get away with saying that someone's life is worth $200,000 and so we have X amount of dollars invested here and we would you know, we would save 50 million if we just let these people burn. Unbelievable.

Like you all, they should hang them by their ankles in a fucking room full with rats. Do you think there's a level of like psychopath that you have to get to be like super high up in a corporation where people become just numbers? I think people definitely can justify a lot of shit. Like you have to detach from humanity and look at people as numbers and resources and all that, whether it's super high up in military, super high up in corporations, any corporations.

I'm not just saying like, you know, oil corporations, even just like high up in entertainment. Like, you know, oil corporations Even just like high up in entertainment Like, you know, it's like sometimes Well, you don't have to, no, you don't have to be there But definitely a lot of the people That get there are But I think that's all, a lot of that Is going to be in the past

I think it's still going on right now to a certain extent But transparency is making it more and more Difficult to get away with shit like that You know, it's just, it's going to make it more and more difficult to hide what the fuck you did. You know, and when we're talking about things like this, I don't think you can hide this anymore, man. That's why, you know, going back to what we're talking about, all the hackers and all that stuff. That's why, like, when this net neutrality stuff is coming up, I'm like, I just don't think the hackers will let that happen. Well, they're going to have to for a while, but they're already fighting back.

One dude hacked into the FCC, SEC, right? That's what it is. FCC? No. Federal Communications? Is that what it is? Are they responsible for the internet? Yeah.

Well, they're the ones making whether they're going to let Time Warner and what was the other one? Verizon? Verizon. Whatever one's going to be huge. AT&T is about to buy DirecTV. Yeah, and they're freaking out about that. But who does that go back to?

Was that Clinton that just made it so that they could consolidate more? I don't know who did that. But the point about what they're doing with the fcc is uh that these hackers attacked the uh sec's website and turned the fcc website down to 28.8 like an old school 28.8 bit modem so they throttled them down i love this is what this is what it's like stupid yeah like you can't do this this is ridiculous yeah well basically making it basically making it so certain websites you can get to quicker, and then if they want to find mine, it's going to take forever for them to find where it is. It's evil.

It's evil, and it's just another opportunity that people have to corrupt something to make some money off of it. So people do. If you let them. If you let them. But I think transparency, again, like this is something they would have pulled off in the 80s like that. No one would have had a say about it. one would have even known about it maybe a few protests on schools yeah you'd be walking through the campus and someone'd be like save net neutrality be like save the whale save the seals i gotta go to class you know you would you would sort of like

be into it for a little bit but not really totally understand it whereas now it's like hitting your email every day twitter every day i'm constantly hearing about net neutrality i'm constantly hearing about it so it's this different thing where i think today it's way harder to cover shit up and the people that are involved the last thing those motherfuckers want to do is be up for any public office or being you know applying for any sort of a job and explain your role about eliminating net neutrality and what was your position well isn't the guy who's in charge of the FCC used to work at Time Warner or something where he was high up in the company? Sam is the king of has a sort of an idea what's going on in his head.

Isn't the guy who wears the dresses? Isn't Wolverine holding hands with guys? I've been right so far, though, with the exception of the Wolverine. I've been right on everything else. You might be right about Wolverine holding hands with guys. I've been right so far, though, with the exception of the Wolverine. I've been right on everything else. You might be right about Wolverine. And you know where you got the car thing from, by the way, where it costs money? I think you got that from Fight Club. Because Edward Norton's character actually says that.

Is that it? No, there was something else. I read that. I read that. I read occasionally. Come on, son. How often do you read? Right now I'm reading that book about the guy who thought his dad might have been the Zodiac Killer.

Have you seen that book? Oh, are you really reading that? Yeah. You know, he's not the first. There's been several other people that have read the books thinking that their dads were the Zodiac Killer. But have you seen the picture of his dad versus the sketch? No. It's identical.

Really? Oh, yeah. Imagine if your dad was out killing other people and you were worried that he was going to get you, but you wanted to keep your mouth shut about him killing other people because he was your dad. The marketing worked because I bought the book.

Did you hear about that killer, the guy from S.H.I.E.L.D. that just killed his wife in front of the kids today, the one actor? The S.H.I.E.L.D.? Yeah, I think he was the guy, he was the black cop. The black guy, this guy here what remember no fucking way yeah I was on the news last night they they saw my cup God no he killed his wife yeah in front of their kids in front of kids and was over money problems I guess he fought for bankruptcy recently oh my he had stopped paying off his house

He had stopped paying off his house. Fuck. What is it about people? I shot my wife. What? How do people get to that place where they can kill somebody that they loved, at least at one point in time, loved? How do you get so low? Bankruptcy problems?

That's really? You got to the point where you were on fucking The Shield. Yeah, sometimes, though, you don't get back. Yeah, but he was on one of the best cop shows ever. So you don't get back. that's that did you got to the point where you're on fucking the shield yeah sometimes though you don't get back yeah but he was on one of the best cop shows ever so you don't get back do you see a fucking guy who's just has a normal life freaking out because he wow look at him there man jesus christ it's over that is so crazy you imagine how crazy that guy has to be to have just shot his fucking wife he goes from being on like one of the all-time greatest cop shows has a crazy role on it a really good role like he was the gay guy

remember man you think that's drugs also who knows man who knows i've heard stories about that people odian and their kids are in the house guy hanging themselves kids are in the house, guy hanging himself, kids are in the house. It's like, what are you doing, dude? Killing a wife, man. So much more common than the wife killing the husband. It's fucking awful. Awful shit, man. I guess he filed bankruptcy, and his house was about to go in foreclosure.

Oh, better kill my wife. It's not like I could get a job. Poor kids. It's like the I could get a job. Poor kids. It's like the thing where people hit that wall where they don't have any other solution. And, you know, someone will say, oh, it's depression. You know, it's depression. Yeah, okay. I get it, but

how does it make you kill somebody? Now there's no solution. It's over. Yeah. I mean, because he called 911 and said it. Oh, my God. That's going to be used against him. I mean, like, what are and said it. Oh, my God. That's going to be used against him. I mean, like, what are you going to do? Who knows, man. Like, what do you deal with that?

I mean, it's like, I'm not married, man. I've just seen these guys. These married guys are just, like, the only way out is to off, and it's always the husband. It's always the someone you know. It's, like, so funny because. Well, it's not always the husband. I mean, it's more often the husband.

More often, yes. The only people that I know where the guy and the woman someone you know. It's so funny because- Well, it's not always the husband. I mean, it's more often the husband. More often, yes. The only people that I know were the guy and the woman, Phil Hartman was killed by his wife. Wasn't she- Yes. Wasn't she what? Yes, she was. Yes.

I heard that also. Heard it all day. All day, every day. Whatever it was. She was on Zoloft and cocaine. Wasn't she an ex-escort? I don't know. Okay.

I'm sure people have alleged that. But, you know, if you go and fuck a guy for dinner, basically you're an escort. Yeah. A lot of escorts out there. God bless them. You know, there's a lot of girls that go on dates with guys. Just for a free meal? Why not fucking them?

Just because they feel bad? You know, went out and bought drinks and dinner. That's real. It does happen. I don't encourage it. All the time. But it does happen. You don't need to fuck a guy for dinner.

Joey Diaz has a funny joke about that. About the Liberace movie. I don't think he does it anymore. But he goes, if somebody buys you dinner, you don't have to fuck them. But if you fly a person out somewhere, he's talking about Liberace flying that guy out to Vegas. He goes, you fly outs, someone's getting their dick sucked. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, there's a difference between someone visiting you.

That's what people always have an issue with, a girl flying out to hang out with a guy and stay the weekend. Comics have heard that happen to them. They meet a girl on the road like man i think she's really cool like she's gonna come out and visit me we'll see what's up and the girl flies out to visit them and then nothing i had a buddy who flew a chick he met a chick here in la flew her to toronto she took the flight got to Toronto Cause she's from Toronto Got there Never called him Never hung out He kept calling her

She's like where are you She like didn't Oh I can't I can't hook up right now She used him for a plane ticket Hey there's unscrupulous people out there Yeah Some of them have vaginas

Yeah Some of them have penises Yep No one's immune No Some of them are gay Crazy comes in all sizes Some of them are gay Yeah Some of them have penises. No one's immune. Some of them are gay. Crazy comes in all sizes. Some of them are gay.

Yeah. Some of them are transgender. There's some fucking shady people out there in all walks of life. What do you think about the word tranny, transgender, and all that stuff? I think if it's okay to call a cab driver a cabbie, you should be able to call a transgender a tranny. Yeah, it's just an abbreviation. I don't think it's... I believe intent.

I think what we were talking about earlier, like when you're talking about what is rape, you know, we all know what's bad. When you define something by a name, you know, when you say like, oh, you have a couple drinks and then you have sex with somebody,

that's rape. They have sex with you, it's rape because you've had three drinks or you have two drinks. Now it becomes rape. I think defining people like, this guy, oh, he's a fag. Oh, this guy, oh, he's a homo. This guy, oh, he's a gay man.

What's in your mind? What's the intent? Yeah, what's in your mind when, you know, if Justin Martindale were here and we're like, well, if homos like you could stop fucking monkeys, what would we be doing? What would our intent be? We love Justin. Our intent would be to make fun and have a good time and with no hate at all.

But if we were like sitting here going, well, you know, it's pretty clear in the Bible that the gay will suffer. And we say it to him in like an evil way. There's nothing wrong with calling someone gay, right? Right. But there's something wrong with saying those words. There's something wrong with projecting that thought. Where's it coming from?

Of course. It's like Patrice O'Neill when he got on that MSNBC show or whatever the fuck it was with that lady who was arguing about Opie and Anthony getting in trouble for rape jokes. Yeah. Was it a rape joke or is it a joke about- I think it was a rape joke. No. You know what it was?

It was that homeless guy got on the show and the homeless guy started talking about Condoleezza Rice and he was doing, like saying he would rape her. And then they got suspended

and what Patrice O'Neal was trying to say was that when someone is trying to be funny, like that it's all coming from the same place. It's all coming from a place of trying to be funny.

If it's coming from a place where you're trying to hurt someone's feelings or you are discriminating or you are being evil, that's a different thing. It's not the label. It's the intent behind it. And we get all tied up in the words. Like they were trying to stop bossy for a while. Were you aware of that? Yeah.

They were trying to say that bossy is like the new cunt, you know, like calling someone bossy is like the new cunt. You know, like calling someone bossy is like... Well, they're doing that with... He's... What's a... Not ghetto, but what is the word that these NFL players were trying to say? Gangster or ghetto? Yeah, ghetto is the new N-word.

Ghetto? When he's acting really ghetto. Like this one guy... What's the, Richard Sherman, people really flipped out on him because he went off on this football player in the middle of this interview after a game and he's like, oh, he's all ghetto. He's acting all ghetto. And they were trying to say that's the new way of saying the N-word. Oh, that's hilarious.

Yeah, and it just becomes something new. You know, everybody gets offended by other words, and it's just like, listen, the N-word and the F-word, there's definitely history behind that. The F-word compared to when you talk about gay guys, right? Right. There's a history of oppression out there that comes with that word, whereas every group wants to get their own word. But what about faggotry? I love that word. I can understand why. Okay, listen, you word. But what about faggotry? I love that word. I can understand why faggotry. Okay, listen.

You don't like the word faggot. I totally understand that. Faggotry, though? It's the same thing. I mean, listen. I say everybody can say whatever they want to. Either you like it or you don't, and we move on. Yes.

If you don't like it, you don't like it. Don't watch the comedy. Don't watch the show. Don't buy the product. Move the fuck on there's two different things that are a problem here two very different things there's one there's the the thing is people saying actual slurs having mean intent and being you know an evil person with evil intent then there's also another thing going on where people just going after words and the use

of words and trying to limit the use of words and try to limit the language that we use not the intent and not the thought behind the words not the the the philosophy or the way of looking at life which i think for most of us is constantly evolving and changing from the time we're younger to the time we're older we learn life lessons along the way we have fuck-ups we we make. We say things we wish we could take back. We say things that... Yeah, all the time. And then we say things that we realize are cool.

Well, when you add in those things together, you got a lot of different things going on. It's not just about the words themselves. What it's about is people having good intent. And there's a lot of people also, I think, that they use these words to inject some serious fucking hate and vitriol out into the world. They use other people using those words to be more hateful than the actual use of the word itself. More angry, like, find YouTube comments where people think they're being social justice warriors. Going after someone who might have used an incorrect term.

Yeah. Or going after someone who said this disparaging thing about transgender people or whatever the fuck it is. You're just going to find fucking anger and hate coming from people that are supposedly progressive on a scale that you rarely see even coming from people that are conservative. What I hate about the political correct movement is that how much fine print comes with that word. Meaning like they totally accept it and almost in their brains convince themselves that this person who they approve of uses the word is actually using that word to make fun of those who use the word as negative. They actually convince themselves of it. There's so much fun.

Okay, you're talking about the Colbert report thing. Well, not even though that. You know that story? I was listening. Yeah. That girl drives me fucking nuts. If you don't know that story, it's a genius story. Colbert.

He's so smart. Yeah. No, that story. It's a genius story. Colbert. He's so smart. Yeah. Well, let's cancel Colbert.

It was this thing that started trending online because they thought that Stephen Colbert put out a racist joke. Like, pull the video. It'll probably pull us off of YouTube, but I think it's fair use. We could just do that article about it. Yeah, but the- Suey Chu is her name or something? Sui Park And you know she's She uses a lot of big words

And she uses a lot of progressive lingo Well she was interviewed by somebody on Huffington Well let's explain The punchline was I'm willing to show the Asian community I care by introducing the Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation For sensitivity to Orientals or whatever. And it was meant to be a satirical analog to the Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation.

Which is hilarious. Yeah. I mean, it's funny. It's so funny. When you hear it coming from Colbert, he's making fun of their callous way. How stupid they are that the people who want to keep the name Redskins. So some people only saw one part of it, and I think it was a tweet that was put out. So Cancel Colbert, Comedy Central actually put out the tweet.

The hashtag Cancel Colbert became one of Twitter's twending twopics. Across the United States. And it was because this one chick. But it's not just her, because whether she was wrong, I mean, she might have like saw that and overreacted and then

didn't understand what was going on. Satire. Didn't see the whole thing. Just saw part of it, started it off, and then, boom, she was caught up in this wave of interaction. Well, I would say I would disagree with that statement, that she was caught up in it because she would keep doing interviews about it well after, you know, like a week or so after people were like, you understand it's satire.

And then the guy interviewing her on this Huffstein Post thing, which was really funny, and she's like, I understand it's satire. And then the guy interviewing her on this Huffstein Post thing, which was really funny. And she's like, I know it's sad. And she gives the literal definition of satire, meaning that she basically read what the definition was. She didn't get the joke. Well, here's where it gets even better. By lunchtime, Deadspin published a post by two Korean-American writers with the tongue-in-cheek headline, Gooks Don't Get Redskin Joke.

So fellow Asian-Americans were attacking her, and Cancel Colbert became a joke more than anything. And then not only did it not get canceled, well, he got the goddamn Tonight Show, or the Late Show with David Letterman. He's the new Late Show host. Which almost makes me wonder if the whole thing was fake. I mean, my whole opinion is that I'm starting to see, like, these things, these internet outrages over statements being made by comedians.

And it almost gets to the point where sometimes I wonder if they're just fake outrage just to drum up publicity behind this what's being said. No, it's people realize that they can get attention. That's exactly what's going on. They realize they can get attention or they get attention by pretending to be upset at something. Or what if the people

who said the statement, people behind them drum up fake outrage. Put out this pout rage. P-O-U-T dash rage of Suey Park as Colbert lands the late show. There's this guy who does his online commentary picking apart everything from this controversy to feminism to everything. I mean, he's pretty hilarious. So, Suey Park, Miss Cancel Colbert, His name's Thunderfoot. has another article in Time magazine.

The cross-promotion of more white male celebrities proves it. The entertainment industry has perfected the development of white cis straight male characters and the marginalisation of other voices, except when those others are brought in only to aid in the cheap punchline of a joke. It's the day one. This is, they're showing people of color being badass. And women. This is... ...other voices, except when those others are brought in only to aid in the cheap punchline of a joke is complete. This is aggression we do not have to accept. We will protest this until it ends.

Others wanted to silence us immediately. Young Asian American women with little institutional power are not supposed to be loud. Our voices are not expected to be raised. Unbelievable. And when they are raised, they're not meant to travel. Actually, Siwee, if you you're lucky they won't travel. Because as the old saying goes, it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. And how genocide and slavery and orientalism all work together to

uphold white supremacy. Right. It's really kind of the way that I understand my work, which is why a lot of my work isn't essentially with these mainstream Asian American activist groups. Because the simple truth is that young people generally don't hold institutional power because they lack general experience. They lack life experience. Now I know you left home to go to university for a year or two. One second, my mom just came home. Oh, okay.

Maybe you went to university for a year or two. And now you think you know everything about the world. President Suey Park, they will chant as you with your 23-year-old wisdom set about solving all of the world's problems. And many will have chuckled, a quiet chuckle of mirth to themselves, as you got hauled up on your own hubris. For only about a week or so after your campaign to cancel Colbert, it turns out that Colbert was indeed getting cancelled and instead he's now going to take over the reins from David Letterman on the eminently prestigious

Late Show. And this seems to trigger these tears of rage from you in your latest article of IT'S NOT OVER TILL WE SAY IT'S OVER! Oh, the bitter tears of unfathomable sorrow they are, Zoe. The white man, as you frequently refer to him, has now become the beloved white man. Yeah, because being white must mean that the white man is always reasonable, always pure, always deliberate, always complex, and always innocent. So he continues, there is so much to gain by correcting us, dismissing us, rewriting us.

You know, this is kind of unfair unfair and this is like a part of the internet you know that a young person because if i was 23 and you asked my opinions on virtually anything you would get something half as intelligent as that we're all idiots at 23 years old 100 a bit unfair about just the nature of the internet someone can just i agree man but i just think there's something in this country where like and listen racism does exist 100 save it for that real rate this yes fake out this girl wants this girl wants credit for oppression she never went through well she's got attention that's what's going on her her brother like her her brothers are like all doctors and lawyers i mean like she's I mean, I do a joke about her.

You know, it's like she's born in like 1991. Like, talk about the dark years of 98, will you, Suey? Like, what did you go through in 1988, the oppression that you had to go through? Like, they didn't let you wear your Hello Kitty backpack to school? That's racist. No, it's not racist. You're talking about Asians wearing Hello Kitty. Yeah, so racist.

That is racist. I'll totally, okay, call me a racist. That's my point. It's at least racial. That's my point. What are you going through? I don't think you have a point. I'm going to be honest with you.

I do have a point. What was 98? That's the year where you kind of come into consciousness. My point is, just the thought of that that she's trying to equate what she's gone through with like what... But I don't think she is. You know what she is? She's getting attention and then she's running with it. And I think, you know, as much as she might have thought she's thought this stuff out, what's going on is she's looking at a white belt in life. She's a white belt. She's a young person who's sort of, you know, maybe she's smart, maybe she's not. I don't know.

Maybe she's educated, maybe she's not. I don't really know. It's hard to tell from this because what you have is a bright spotlight on a person who probably shouldn't have had it on them, made a big mistake, hit a chord. That chord is the racism chord. And hit it accidentally because didn't understand the satire of a joke and didn't understand the context of a tweet that it was a part of a much larger piece and in taking that out of context and running with it connected to a system and once she's a part of that system once she starts being interviewed and you know people were talking calling her a fucking idiot on fox news like i think was fox news where someone

called her stupid like the guy actually called her stupid. Like said, what you're saying is so stupid that I can't even... Whatever the guy's statement was. The point was he called her stupid. You've got to be pretty fucking bad at relaying a point on the news for someone to call you

stupid. Well, I just feel... I understand that too. She's a black belt. She's a black belt. She's a white belt. She's cute though. Yeah, that's my whole thing. Who's been mean to... Who has been more oppressive to hot, young Asian girls? White, old

white men? Or like their Asian parents? She's a young kid. She's a young kid. She's 23 years old. So she was called stupid by Josh a young kid. She's 23 years old. So she was called stupid by Huffington Post Live's Josh Zeps. That was a funny interview. In a heated debate.

Yeah, it's kind of funny. By the way, she's doing the interview on that one. In the background, she has stuffed animals on her bed. Meanwhile, she wrote after that, in case anyone thought I was censoring Colbert, please know that I was just talked down to, muted and silenced by Josh Zeps and Huffington Post Live.

And then Josh Zeps tweets to her, ah, the righteousness of professional umbrage takers. Suey Park wasn't muted or silenced. I invited her to explain herself, and she declined. That's funny. She pulled that whole thing, like, you can't say that because you're a white guy thing, which is a classic, like... Well, it's a new thing.

It's a new thing. Chicago peeps, I'm going to be doing a comedy show on June 26th, Suey Park writes on her Twitter. No way. Show up, heckle. Oh, my God. That's not real. That's real? Yeah.

Oh, she's now getting into stand-up comedy because of this. Which is the story. Jamie Kilstein's going to coach her. It's going to work out well. Come to Death Squad, we'll welcome you with open dicks. Don't open your dick up. Things will fall out of there like A's. This is crazy.

So the guy said to her, he said it's just a stupid opinion. She argued that satire is supposed to punch up. Oh, okay, it's that thing. You should watch the video. You shouldn't say anything bad. Oh, please pull that up. Pull that video up. Suey Park and Josh Zeps.

She basically said that he's pretty much not allowed to comment on it because he's not an Asian man. Because he's not Asian. And because of white privilege. Yeah. Do you know, white privilege is a thing that there was a recent article that everybody critiqued or criticized that some young kid at Yale wrote about being told to check his privilege. This whole thing, this check your privilege thing, it's nice.

Let's pause that for a second there. It's a nice thing to want people to be kind and considerate. It's a nice thing. But when you give them a tool, like check your privilege, whenever it involves anything racial, you're going to silence the debate because now someone's being told essentially to shut up because they're white, which is, wait for it, racist. So you're not even allowed to have a point of view if you're the wrong race to talk

because you're privileged. That race is privileged. So there's like a balancing act going on. And the white people are not allowed to even debate ideas. You're supposed to check your privilege and shut up and listen to whatever, whether it's a woman or an Asian or whoever it is other than the white man. I always feel that like really young boys, like, uh, like young white boys have to pay for the sins of their fathers and their grandfathers. I live near a high school, and I drive by it all the time, and I see groups of kids hanging out, and they're all multiracial. So the whole experiment that's been done in this country about making everybody integrated has worked to a point. There's a lot of integration in these young kids.

It's working, and it's getting better. It's getting better, and it's got more room to go. And these young kids. It's working and it's getting better. Yes, and it's getting better. And it's got more room to go. But I feel like young white boys sometimes have to pay for the sins of their fathers and their grandfathers. There's this whole thing in the NBA that people get really mad that the last couple spots on an NBA team tend to be given to white guys. And they're really upset because, you know, it's like, well, why should they be making that for white kids? Well, it's the same thing that they're doing in Hollywood where, you know, where the TV shows have to have multiracial characters.

The commercials are multiracial. So the young kids see themselves in there and realize they could do that, too. It's about reaching everybody. Well, I grew up as a young kid who wanted to play pro basketball. I'm waiting for a woman. Yeah. a young kid who wanted to play pro basketball. I'm waiting for a woman. Yeah. I wanted to play pro basketball, and I wanted to be the first white guy to play on Georgetown's basketball team, because at the time, it was all black guys. Right.

And I always wanted to be on that, because I wanted to be the white kid. So I can understand to a point why you have a couple white guys on the team because a lot of kids who are young, white kids, dream of playing pro basketball. So it's the same thing. So it's affirmative action for white people. To a point. Yeah. I think that here's the problem with all this white guy stuff.

Without a doubt, white people have it way easier. Way better. Way, way, way, have it way easier. Way better. Way, way, way, way, way easier. So complaining at all about it makes you look like a fucking idiot because the idea of white privilege, the real idea is that white people have an advantage and they have an advantage culturally in how they're treated by society. I think that's true.

I think it's 100% true. It doesn't mean that you should have to check your white privilege when you're talking about ideas. Because saying something like that to someone, you're not saying, hey, look, white people have an advantage, but realistically that's all unfair and we should all be equal and we should all be one. And let's just go and talk about ideas from an even playing field. I totally agree. But this whole thing of like anybody having an issue on something. But this whole thing of anybody having an issue on something.

But then again, imagine if you were going to school and you were a black guy who's experienced a lot of oppression. Some rich white twat was giving you some dude who just grew up with rich parents on the fucking Hamptons. And he's giving you a hard time and he doesn't understand that he got a fucking easy run. He won the sperm lottery. So you would want to say, check your privilege to him. I get that too. I get it when it's appropriate to let everyone know, look dude you got lucky you you you fucking you found five aces that's what it is you were you were born on third base you didn't hit a triple okay you're right there you got lucky as fuck and that's a

lot of people and that's annoying to folks but the idea that a white person can't have an opinion about satire because he's white and he doesn't understand what it's like to be an Asian woman who didn't get the joke. Holy shit. That's dumb. I agree. But that's the problem. She's 23. She's 23 years old. She's, you know, a young person with ideas that maybe aren't completely formed yet thrust into this weird position to defend something that was a mistake. I've always said that, uh, you know how the Israel Israel you have to serve in the army? I've always felt that people in America, after they graduate high school, they should all have to

wait tables at Denny's. Dude, I'll tell you this, man. People aren't canceling Corbera up in fucking Edmonton. Okay? They're beating seals to keep their fire warm. It's cold as shit up there.

It's a different world. If you have this really fucking easy life, you start finding shit to bitch about. And you start finding. If you have this really fucking easy life, you start finding shit to bitch about. And you start finding shit when you have this internet connection, you have the ability to get a bunch of other knuckleheads involved. You start bitching about shit and you find that there's a bunch of people that it resonates with. And then you're caught up in a wave. You're caught up in a wave of attention and you see it all the time. A lot of these people

that are the so called Social justice warriors They're aggressively Asshole-ish Aggressively asshole-ish Well and I also think There's a lot of it That there's a lot Personal

They're trying to Make a dollar off They're like the Suzy Chu Now she's gonna go out Suzy Chu Suzy Park Whatever her name is

More racism First it was Hello Kitty Now it's Suzy Chu So she's gonna go out there She's gonna do stand up She's probably gonna write a book She's gonna be making an appearance what are you waiting for

let her make the money but my point is how much of it is pure behind actual wanting change and how much is it just to make a buck off it well I don't know

but let's listen to this video because it's quite fascinating I liked it this Josh Zeps video tweeting silly part no don't do that asshole what are you doing man don't do that I was gonna ask her if she reason we can see part no don't do that asshole we're doing man don't do that as a student podcast dude don't do that

uh... cancel colbert that's what some twitter users are demanding up to the call their report without a doubt the lead to tweet reading i'm willing to show asian community i care by introducing the chinchang ding dong foundation for sensitivity to orientals or whatever. This set off a Twitter firestorm late Thursday night with people sounding off. Hashtag cancel Colbert because we really don't need another white liberal celebrity trying to justify racism.

Using satire that ironically ridicules Asians is not productive for indigenous nor any marginalized group. White humor blows. Hashtag cancel Colbert. White humor blows. And the one that started it all via Suey Park. White people, please keep hashtag cancel Colbert trending until there's an apology.

This is not the burden of people of color. Fix it. Do something. Joining us now is the author of that very same tweet, Suey Park. And also still with us is HuffPost politics reporter Jason Lincolns. Thanks for being with us, Suey. Of course. Thanks for having me.

Why cancel Colbert? What did you hope to achieve with that? Well, that's a loaded question. I think it's sad, but unfortunately, a lot of times our demands aren't really met unless we have really serious asks or we generate these larger conversations. Unfortunately, people usually don't listen to us when we're being reasonable. So I think it's really to make a statement that this sort of thing happens weekly, that Asian Americans are always a punchline. And so I think we're just trying to make a point that people will be held accountable the next time they do these sort of things. So just to clarify the context, the tweet was related to a segment that was lampooning Dan Snyder, who's the owner of a certain Washington, D.C. football team that has a racist name. It was meant to be satire.

football team that has a racist name. It was meant to be satire. I mean, do you understand the point of satire, that you say something that's intentionally absurd in order to ridicule not the people who are the target of what you're saying, but other people who might say it? Of course I understand satire. I'm a writer. I think satire caters to the audience that you're speaking to. So it says something about what the audience finds humorous or acceptable when you're using those sort of jokes. And I think satire is supposed to punch up. So unfortunately he's not doing that when he draws a parallel to orientalism to make a point about Native American mascots. But isn't his point that there are lots of stupid racist people who even in their attempt to be conciliatory on race end up putting their foot in it and saying something dumb? I really don't think that we're going to

end racism by joking about it. Like I'm glad that the white liberals feel like they are less racist because they can joke about people that are more explicitly racist, but that actually does nothing to help people of color. Why attack a satirical attack on Dan Snyder's racism instead of just attacking Dan Snyder's racism? Well, if you're familiar with my activism or my work, I've been very vocal about Native American mascots. I went to the University of Illinois for my undergraduate career. We had Chief Elina Wick, and I was incredibly vocal about it, and I had the same sort of backlash. And that kind of backlash happens no matter what you're really attacking, whether it be, you know, the word Oriental being used as a slur,

yellowface jokes against Asian American people, or if I'm really just talking about Native American mascots and Dan Snyder. based jokes against Asian American people, or if I'm really just talking about Native American mascots and Dan Snyder. I know I helped trend Not Your Mascot on Super Bowl night to fight, you know, the name Redskins and Not Your Tonto. And I had the same sort of backlash. So it really isn't fair to kind of individualize these things and ask why I'm not shifting my behavior. Because honestly, if white liberals cared about really getting rid of the mascot, there's a lot they can do to help organize or get involved besides caring about their joke. So for them, it's not really about whether or not the Redskins exist or whether or not racism is over. It's really about them feeling like they can't have fun anymore and feeling entitled to be able to laugh at things that

aren't really funny. Jason, part of the whole gag here is the use of the term Orientalism, which is such a weird, old, loaded, like it's just, it's a stupid, stupid word. But to get upset about the use of that word when it's in a satirical context strikes me as misguided. I want to take a look, though, at a tweet which Colbert Rapport has tweeted out. It says, for the record, Colbert Rapport is not controlled. As a white man, you don't really get to do that. Hang on, hang on, Suey. I'll come to you in just a sec. For the record, Colbert Rapport is not controlled by Stephen Colbert or his show. He is at Stephen at Home. Sorry for the confusion. Colbert himself has responded to some of the criticism on Twitter. Hashtag cancel Colbert.

I agree. Just saw at Colbert Report tweet, I share your rage. Who is that, though? I'm Stephen at Home. Suey, you were just going to jump in. Yeah, I was going to say that I feel like it's incredibly patronizing for you to paint these questions this way, especially as a white man. I don't expect you to be able to understand what people of color are actually saying with regards to Cancel Colbert. With their fucking stuffed animals back there. Sorry, being a white man doesn't prevent me from being able to think and doesn't prevent me from being able to have reasoned perspectives on things.

I didn't give up my right to be able to have an intellectual conversation when I was born. I know, but white men definitely feel like they are entitled to talk over me. They definitely feel like they're entitled to kind of minimalize my experiences, and they definitely feel like they are somehow exempt and so logical compared to women who are painted as emotional, right? No, no one's minimalizing your experiences. No one's minimalizing your right to have an opinion. It's just a stupid opinion. I mean, it's a misunderstanding of what satire is. You just called my opinion stupid. You just called my opinion stupid.

That's incredibly unproductive. And I don't think I'm going to enact the labor of having to explain to you why that's incredibly offensive and patronizing. Explain. I just told you I wouldn't enact that labor. Okay. Thanks for being with us, Zoe. Oh, damn.

Look, it's unfair. That's a black belt versus a white belt. That's what it is. I mean, even if she had a point, you know, in some way, shape, or form that's sort of wrapped up in all this fucking craziness, even if she had a point. She's too young. What if she's complaining? Like, to me, it's so interesting because some of the most damaging Asian racial material

is done by Asian comedians. Like, what's her take on that? Well, they do. Why do they do it, though? They do it because it works. Like, why do they do it? They do it to break the ice. They do it.

Like, why do fat guys tell tell fat jokes so that you can't write because you go on stage you're a fat fuck and your entire act is just about other shit call me fat fuck I said if okay you know if you're a guy and you're you're a giant guy you better talk about that on stage I agree because if you don't and the audience is gonna fucking point it out. What is this? Because she talks back and forth with him. Oh, no. Who, Jamie? They're like best buddies. Who?

Of course, Jamie Kirstein. Oh, my God. It's so perfect. Poor bastard. It was just a joke. This is all a simulation theory. This is all fake. It was just a joke.

I was joking when I said that he would help her with her comedy. Oh, my God. He probably helped her with her comedy. He means well. I swear to God he does. I just can't. I just, it's like, it comes with so much fine print. It's bad to be a guy, don't you know?

Men are getting all these women pregnant, doing all the raping, building all the roads. Unbelievable. It's a mess. The whole thing's got to be a mess. Especially in this country where, I mean, like, everything I know is not perfect, Bam, but when you hear what goes on in other countries. I don't buy that. It's, it's just.

Still, but I don't buy that. This is why I don't buy that. People always say that. But we know that it could be better. So, yeah, it's better than what it is in other countries. I agree with that. Still, it's a crazy thing to say. With all the information awareness we have, the least important thing to concentrate on is how much better it is in other countries. I agree with that. It's a crazy thing to say. With all the information and awareness we have, the

least important thing to concentrate on is how much better it is here. Forget about dwelling on patting ourselves on the back for making this country better than the other one. I'm not saying that. But that's what everybody does. I'm not saying that. But she is sitting there and taking a joke and just making it into this giant

global issue. She's trying to do it. When we have a situation in China where they chuck girls. As a white man, I don't expect you to understand chucking girls in China. As a white man, I think it's incredibly condescending and patronizing that you're using that word. Can I open for you?

Could you imagine? I would love to. Could you imagine what the set that you laid down in Edmonton. By the way, Sam Tripoli's new CD available today. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. I gave you a thank you in there. Oh, please. Bro, the set that you

laid down when we were working together in Edmonton, you destroyed it up there. It was a lot of fun. That was right before you filmed it, right? Or recorded it, rather. And it was really worked out because a bunch of people that week came to the comic strip and said they saw me at your show. In Edmonton.

Yeah, we did it in the same place. Yeah. We were at the River Cree, and then Sam was there, like, how long later? Like, literally in the next week. Perfect. It was awesome. Yeah, and then they came down to support. That's awesome.

Because that was a fun set, dude. But you were only doing, you did a half an hour at my show. How long is the CD? You have a lot more. The CD's almost an hour. So even if they did come to see it, they still got a bunch of shit that they didn't. The fucking Rob Ford stuff was funny. Is that on this?

Yeah. That's funny shit, man. Get it on there before it's old school. They fucking caught him again since then. They caught him again. He was at the comedy store. I heard. He showed up at the store. Brian, did you get pictures of him? Did you get pictures of him there? No, I was out of town, but everyone else. Somebody did. Yeah.

We're all taking pictures. I'm like, why don't we just open the bar and see what we can get into? If we were back there, if that was during the days when I was hanging out at the comedy store, we would have the greatest video of all time. Me talking to Rob Ford. I would have got him shot. He just sweats standing there. I would have just started bringing shots out.

I would have opened the bar. Open bar. Have fun. Here's some ladies. I would have called Uber in advance knowing I was going to be too drunk to drive I would have just fucking Threw my keys In a condom

Swallowed them Locked my car And just Started hitting it hard Oh I would love to All the crazy Cocaine running around that place I would have swallowed my keys

Like a fucking drug mule I was so jealous Watching everyone's Twitter feed Because we were in La Jolla. And I was like, the one time I'm not at the Comedy Story. That's hilarious, man. Now, have you heard about Gerard Carmichael? Yeah.

Rogan? What? This kid named Gerard Carmichael, the nicest kid. That kid right there. His first stand-up special was a one-hour HBO special directed by Spike Lee in the OR at the Comedy Store. Oh, yeah. You know who told me that? He's the nicest kid.

Ian Edwards told me he was doing that there. He's the greatest. Dude, could not. I mean, really, dude. Yeah, Ian actually came over to the Ice House after we had done it. He did it on a Wednesday night, right? Yeah, he did it on some crazy night, man. Yeah, it was a Wednesday night because Ian went to see it and then he came down to the Comedy House after we had done it. He did it on a Wednesday night, right? Yeah, he did it on some crazy night, man. Yeah, it was a Wednesday night because Ian went to see it

and then he came down to the Comedy Store afterwards. Such a nice kid, but that's legendary, dude. That is legendary. And your first ever stand-up on television is a one-hour. It's pretty badass. In the most sacred of rooms. I mean, the OR is crazy.

How many specials have ever been done in the OR? I think that's the first. Well, maybe they're smart and they're opening that place up to specials. They're getting internet. Well, I don't want them to show soon. I'm not going to say what's... They're getting nutty. Why are they doing that?

That's dangerous. I don't want them showing our live sets. You've got to work on stuff. That's the problem with the Laugh factor who was doing that for a while. There's a comedy club out, and I don't want to say the name, but they were, if you signed the agreement to play there,

they record your set. And I'm like, I don't want you to record my set because I'm coming here to work out material. That's fucked. That's fucked. Yeah, that's not good. You know, I think people that run clubs,

they're just trying to get asses in the seats, try to get people excited about the comedy. And if you don't do the process of creating it yourself, you don't know how vital that is, unless you're really paying attention. A lot of club owners do know, but some of them just think, hey, you know, we're getting people to look. We've got 100,000 views on our YouTube channel. You know, Sam Tripoli, just write new material. Is it that hard?

We're giving you a great place to perform. You should be happy to perform here. But that was the thing about some clubs, especially like the Hollywood clubs, where they have this odd, this attitude that like working there was supposed to be prestigious, that the club itself was like the star. Like, you're a box with a microphone. Yes. It's the comedians that have performed here that are legendary. It's not this box with a microphone. It's the comedians that have performed here

that are legendary. It's not this box with a microphone. They could have gone next door to the fucking Hyatt. They could have built a box there. All they would have to do is say, hey, you know what? I'm not performing here anymore. I'm going to build a box next door to the Hyatt.

Let's pack that bitch. And if Kenniston ever wanted to do that or Letterman ever wanted to do that or any of those guys that made the comedy store famous ever wanted to perform next door Letterman ever wanted or any of those guys that made the comedy store famous ever wanted to perform next door. They could have done that. I thought after a while Sam Kenson started

just doing rock clubs. He did. Unlike Sunset. Well, he did a lot of that but, you know, he's the best example and I've talked about it before about a guy

who was really good and became really bad in a short period of time from making it. Just making it. Just the fucking overwhelming pressure of being famous and being huge at one point in time.

Fucking, I just fell apart. Drugs, you think, had something to do with it? Fuck yeah, dude. Boozing it, drugging it. His brother talked about it in his book. It's really fascinating. Brother Sam. Have you read it? Yeah. It's good, man. It's really good. I'll get it. It's a great book. I'll read it. It it? Yeah. Yeah. It's good, man. It's really good. I'll get it. It's a great book.

I'll read it. It's out of print, but you can get it off. Brian, go to your house and steal it. Don't steal, Sam. What kind of a message did I say to the young ones? Especially the Asians. Steal. Did you see that video where Elizabeth Hasselbeck was talking to some guy who was a former NFL

player, is now a lawyer? Really smart guy. And they were talking about marijuana. And it was talking about marijuana. And, you know, it was on Fox News. Elizabeth Hasselbeck, the really conservative hot blonde chick

for The View. She found her right-leaf place in the universe. Oh, she must be so excited. She's one of the hot blondes on Fox News now. She was on, like, a reality show?

What was it? Like, Survivor or something? Yeah, she was on Survivor and then she got on The View and then pow, pow, pow. Now she's on Fox News where she belongs. Just happy to be there. Just spreading Satan's seed.

And she was talking to this guy who's a former football player, and they were talking about weed, and the guy made an excellent point. He's like, isn't it going to send the wrong message to the children? He was like, if the NFL today decided to ban alcohol use for all of its players, it wouldn't affect teen alcohol use at all. And she was just like, IRF? That's her face. That's the

face that she had. He was like, there's worse things to worry about. We don't have to play it. I don't want to play it. It's so fucking dumb. Those conversations are so brutal too. When you have long-form conversations, like on a podcast, and say all the things you were talking about, whether it's we're talking about the Cancel Corbera thing or racism or privilege, these are like long discussions. They're long debates where if you're going to really get to the heart of something and find out a person's real opinions on something, it's a very subtle and nuanced sort of a thing. You need to really be able to talk for long periods of time.

There's nothing wrong with that. But when you're doing that on a show like a Fox News show, you have three minutes. This conversation with this football player was three and a half minutes long. Football player turned lawyer. Three and a half minutes. And then at the end, they're like, okay, well, thank you for your time.

We appreciate it. Bye. We're done covering this subject we're going to discuss uh gay military people and fucking what about gay marriage and they're wearing camo now what do we do we take camo back it's unbelievable it is unbelievable but it's it's that form of entertainment that form of communication that form of entertainment let's call it entertainment because that's really what it is it is not just unsuitable it's not adequate for complex topics it's not adequate when you discuss the subject of marijuana

in teenagers, if you're discussing it like that or discuss the subject of the NFL telling players that they can't or can use marijuana and whether or not you support that what you're supporting if you support that they can tell players they can't use it, you're supporting people having control over their employees. When they're gone from work.

Exactly. Exactly. You're not even talking about something that they're showing up at work drunk. You can't play football drunk. You probably can't play it high. Maybe you can. Basketball players do. Basketball players do.

They love it. They love it. They love it. It probably takes them out of how big the moment is. Do you know what I'm saying? They're not really thinking. They're more in, like, just in the moment of playing basketball than realizing, oh, this might be game seven of this playoff game. Do you know what I'm saying?

To a point where it chills them out. You don't like to smoke the weed that much, but when you smoke the weed and you do things, whether it's jujitsu or playing pool, those are two things I could speak of, you play better. It's a performance-enhancing drug. You have more sensitivity. You feel things better.

You literally, you're tuned into whatever the fuck it is better. You're tuned into distance better. You're tuned into the rotations of a ball. You're tuned into the way a person moves. When you do jujitsu and you're high, you tune into distance better you tuned into the rotations of a ball you tuned into the way a person moves like when you do jujitsu and you're high you can feel things better you feel that sounds okay you can feel movement better yeah you feel balanced and shifting better i the only time i ever perform high is when i go to the underground cafe i'm doing it in june like the toronto yeah the 12th through the 14th. And it's like, I don't have a say in it. As soon as I hit the stage, by the time my foot presses down on that,

I am gone. And it's just very interesting because once you're – Explain why you don't have a say in it. Because the room is – Explain what it is. Well, basically it's this weed bar that has a comedy club in it, and it's so much fun to do. So they have a stand-up show, but usually before the stand-up show, sometimes there's

like an improv troupe or there's an open mic, which can be like two hours long, so people are hotboxing in there, and everybody's smoking weed the whole time before the stand-up show even starts. And then the stand-up show starts, and there's usually like two or three people go on before the headliner, and everybody's just hotboxing, smoking weed, smoking weed. So when you walk out, you're just walking into this room of fucking weed smoke, and it looks like gorillas in the mist. You just see black objects moving in the background under this cloud of smoke.

And by the time my foot hits the stage, I am gone. I can tell you I'm high. Just from breathing a second. Just breathing in, and I've stopped going, okay, I'm so high now. I just accept it and just start riffing. Hinchcliffe had a green out there where he actually had to take off his shirt, and it's so unlike him that he had to sit outside on the sidewalk for a half hour. He was trying to rustle up some boys.

With that nice gay face? Super twink. Super twink. Super twink. Trying to put on an extra show. Sometimes people that want attention, they want it all the time. Not just on stage, off stage as well. I'm taking my shirt off.

I'm so hot. Start sucking his finger. So hot outside. That's so ridiculous. Start sucking his fingers. So hot outside. That's so ridiculous. Yeah, he's a flirt. That's what he's doing. He's not even gay. Gay flirt.

He just knows what he's got. He knows what he's got. He's like a hot chick who's married and she likes to wear short skirts and walk past the bar and know that every guy's like, oh, God. She's not even trying to cheat. She's just trying to. She just likes the attention. Yeah, just trying to like. She likes the head turns.

Get the party started. Always. Get people excited. Let her know. She's still rocking it. Keep on rocking the free world. Suey Park. Suey Park. I don't have anything against that girl, by the way. If she ever listens to this, much love to you, kid. I'll take her out. Brian will take you out. I don't think that's a good thing.

That won't help your cause. I don't think that helps anybody, but maybe out. I don't think that's a good thing. That won't help your cause. I don't think that helps anybody, but maybe Brian. I don't think that helps him. It doesn't help anybody, but he's just saying that if you were into it, you could hang out with him. Yeah, I just don't like anybody who puts restrictions on comedians and what they can say. There's this whole thing with Leslie Jones, too.

Who's that? Leslie Jones. She's a comedy store comedian. Just one of those people where it's like that's – every time you follow her at the store, it's an education. You just learn. Man, you got to go up there and focus. And she did something on Saturday Night Live

where she did an old bit that she's been doing together about how she would have been a first-round draft pick in slave days because she would put out great slaves. And she did it on there, and the internet explodes. They got mad at her? A bunch of people did, including other comedians, which I really hate, man. I can't stand. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

She said she'd be a first-round draft pick because she's a big girl. Yeah, she's a big, wait a minute, wait a minute. She said she'd be a first round draft pick. If she's a slave. Because she's a big girl. Yeah, she's a big, tall, thick chick. Why would that be? Who constantly loves to ask you for dick. Why would that be controversial? That's funny. Because, well, the whole thing was that that one chick got prettiest person in the world.

It was the girl from 12 Years of a Slave. That's kind of where it started from, like what draft pick she would have been and how Leslie would have been a first-round draft pick because she could put out strong stock. You talk about that on stage, about wanting to fuck a gladiator chick. Yeah, like John Jones' mom. I don't want to get in trouble, but just the whole thing about how amazing that woman was. It's all love for my... Just a joke.

It's all my love. He's just saying, theoretically, in the joke universe... Well, she put out three... Super athletes. Top and super athletes. That's an amazing woman. That's the point of the joke. An amazing man.

Had nothing to do with slavery. It has to do with how amazing she is. And, well, that's what Leslie... Can you pull up Leslie Jones' rant? She did it on Weekend Update. You know how the whole thing was that, you know, Saturday Night Live didn't have enough diversity, especially when it came to black women?

So she was on Saturday Night Live? She's on Saturday Night Live. She did a little monologue on Weekend Update, and people flipped out. Oh, okay. I'm so fucking confused, because you were saying it was a part of her comedy special. Yeah, but no, no. It's a part of her stand-up act and she did as a monologue on Saturday Night Live.

Why did she do that? Because it was Weekend Update. They asked her to? She probably pitched it as a little thing for that girl getting... Well, let's hear it. Okay, I'm pulling it up. Well, yeah, I think we'd like... You know, if we're smart, we should hear both versions.

We should hear the special version and the version that she did on... Let's hear the fucking version she did on Comedy Central. Fuck the Saturday Night Live version. But I think the Saturday Night Live version is the one that got her in trouble. Yeah.

But it's the same thing, right? Is it on her special? I've just seen her do it at the Comedy Store a thousand times. Yeah, I think she only did it at the Comedy Store. right? Is it on her special? I've just seen her do it at the comedy store a thousand times. I think she only did it at the comedy store. I don't think that was on. I couldn't imagine someone would really get upset about that. Oh, yeah.

I mean, you just hear comics laying into her, and I'm just like, what are you doing? What fucking comic? Who? Don't say Jamie Kilstein. Don't say it. I actually tweeted the comic that did it, and he wrote me back saying that he took down all of his posts about it, and he retracted everything about it. Oh, cool. So what the fuck happened, man?

What was it all about? Oh, Shang. I know Shang. Yeah. He did it? Yeah. Oh, well, got a little crazy. Maybe he was drunk.

Yeah. I mean, he took it down, so. Yeah. Well, I don't know. He retracted it. But I just think you should. I don't understand the thought of restricting what people can say. It's reward and punishment.

If you like what he says, you reward him by going to his shows, buying his CD. If you don't like it, you don't go to his shows. You don't buy his CDs. Well, I disagree because i think that if someone is saying something evil and hurtful that there's nothing wrong with going after that and all nothing wrong pointing out that something is evil or hurtful right but when something is just a joke about themselves and their own body and their own race and their own origins i mean and the idea that this is go ahead ahead, play it.

Thank you very much, Colin. Hello, everybody. I wanted to come out here tonight and congratulate Lupita on winning People's Most Beautiful Person. And I agree that she is very beautiful. But for me, personally, I'm waiting for them to put out their most useful list. You know what I'm saying? Because that's where I'm going, Sean. The most useful? That's what I said, you delectable Caucasian.

She loves asking for dick, by the way. Let me ask you a question. If you walked in a club and you saw me and Lupita standing at the bar, who would you pick? Wow. Yeah, I know. You would pick Lupita. Wow. Let me ask you this.

Yeah, I know. You would pick Lupita. But let me ask you this. If you was in the parking lot... and three crips is about to whoop your ass, who you gonna pick then? I would pick you. You're damn right you would. And that's my point. The way we view black beauty has changed.

Look at me. See, I'm single right now. But back in the slave days, I would have never been single. I'm six feet tall and I'm strong, Colin. Strong! I mean, look at me. I'm a Mandinga. You're not saying you'd rather be a slave, right? No, that is not what I'm saying.

I do not want to be a slave. Hell, I don't like working for you white people right now. And y'all pay me. I'm just saying that back in the slave days, my love life would have been way better. Master would have hooked me up with the best brother on the plantation. And every nine months, I'd be in the corner having a super baby. Every nine months. Every nine months, I'd just be in the corner just popping them out, just,

Chef! COVID! LeBron! Cambo Slice! Say that! Say that! That's what I'm saying! I'm saying I would be the number one slave draft

pick. All of the plantations would want me. I'd be on television like LeBron announcing which plantation I was going to go to. I would be like, I'd like to take my talents to South Carolina. I do believe that there's going to be a lot of opportunities there for me. Now, I can't even get a brother to take me out for a cheap dinner. I mean damn can a bitch get a beef bowl? Can a bitch get a beef bowl? It's weird that she had to do that. It's weird she had to do it like that like using him as like a

guy to banter back and forth to make it look like it wasn't a bit. It was fucking hilarious though. It was funny. I bet it's even better on stage, though. She's amazing. Dude, we call it education, man. You got to follow her. It's education because you got to learn to survive. She's sweating.

Oh, she loves to sweat and hug you. Yeah. It's funny, man. And then she used to corner me in the back during the Dublin's days and just beg for dick. It was so great. How long ago was this? Back in Dublin's day. You remember? How long ago was this? What year was that the Dublin's days and just beg for dick. It was so great. How long ago was this? Back in Dublin's day.

How long ago was this? What year was that? Dublin's was what? 2006? 2006? Was it 2006? Five? I'd say 2003 or four.

Three or four? Yeah. It was the early days. Well, Dublin's changed. Dublin's was a spot where very few people were going, and then it became a dang cook spot for a while. Yeah. a spot where it was like uh very few people were going and then it became like a dane cook spot for a while yeah well the first i said the first year or two it was great because you know jay davis and emmet emmet brought in this pretty insane crowd and like you know people you would go up there

and you find out how good of a comedian you were and if you did really well there it would word would spread and then it started becoming a thing where i'm not going on after him and you got to put me on before him yeah people started controlling the lineup yeah it started becoming a thing where i'm not going on after him and you got to put me on before him yeah people started controlling the lineup yeah i started becoming prima donna and doing an hour in the middle of the show and stealing people's material oh sitting in the back watching and then saying that they were going to get their lawyers on you if you kept doing the bit that happened to me didn't that happen to you yes that Tripoli? Yes, with Dane Cook. That's crazy, Sam Tripoli. What happened? What was the bit? I did a bit about the time.

I was a big Tool fan at the time, and I still am, but I did a bit about when I got pulled over by the cops, and they wrote me a ticket for like $2.50 for speeding, and he handed it to me, and I said, thank you. And I remember how stupid that was to say, thank you for this fucking ticket. At the time, I'm like, that's like saying thank you after you get prison raped. I used the line, I'm breathing, so I guess I'm still alive. Thank you, which is a lyric from a Tool song. I did it on stage because I was showcasing for Jamie. Jamie made me this thing, showcase regular, where I would always just get to showcase.

Then I just became a regular really quick. I was going to do a showcase and Jamie didn't show up. So I'm like, I'm just going to do my regular set, you know? And so I go up and I started doing my act and I do that joke where I, you know, I basically did the joke and I got done. I got huge laughs and I'm leaving there and all these comics who were my friends were hanging out in the laugh factory lobby. And it was like Butch Bradley and a couple other people. And Dane was there. And I didn't really know Dane, but I knew of Dane. So I'm leaving with Scott Ross at the time.

Pull up Dane's Instagram. There's a picture of him shirtless. So I do that. You know, I'm saying goodbye to everyone. And I'm with Scott Ross, who was my roommate at the time. Right. And I say goodbye to everybody. And I saw Dane go, hey, Dane, thank you. I'm like, hey, D my roommate at the time And I say goodbye to everybody And I saw Dan go hey Dane thank you

I'm like hey Dane I'll see you later And he goes oh by the way you're doing my bit In front of everybody And I go what And all of a sudden Armo rage just starts coming through me Armo rage? Yeah just that Armo rage This is his latest Instagram

He's got his shirt off and he's sucking his stomach in to the point where he's probably losing circulation. He mean, that is... He's sexy. But read the caption. Oh, no. What does it say? Well, it's a caption and a half.

Read the caption. Thank you to all my fans and friends over my career I'm starting a new film next week writing than my next one and prepping a lot for a press tours and interviews over the next couple months for planes to a huge surprise and a huge and a huge surprise I'm in the best place in my life I love the people around me I have let go over my past and that held me and I've embraced a future that is whatever I want it to be.

I've worked with wonderful charity organizations over the years and I'm grateful to have always given back and being mindful that the future success depends on how I can create for others now. Pound sign, hard work. The more pound signs, by the way, you have after your fucking statements, the more I think you're an idiot. I'm just going to let you know more. The more time you hashtag after your fucking, you have more than three hashtags. I can't really talk to you unless they're really funny. Unless one of them says one thing, one of them says not really, and then the next one

says something even funnier. Other than that, if you have five or six motivational hashtags, he needs a hug, man. I mean, maybe he's trying to be ironic or funny. Funny? What's that hashtag? Let's stop shitting on Dane here. The gym made me like, what?

It's interesting, guys, that we're in this great place at one point in time, and then everything is kind of like kicked out from under them. And with Dane, like the allegations of plagiarism, the Louis C.K. thing, it was very similar in a lot of ways to the Carlos Mencia thing. Yep. It's just – Well, I think Mencia's worse because he found out – people found out he was a Mexican. That's why he lost that whole group. Yeah, that was devastating.

You know, it's all a lot. That's what people – hey, I mean, you'll always – no matter what, He lost that whole group. Yeah, that was devastating. You know, it's all a lot. That's what people hate. I mean, you'll always, no matter what, you'll always have a core group of fans that no matter what people say about you, they're going to stick with you. But that Dane Cook thing was so crazy that people were sending it to me. Like, people were laughing. Let's not go through all his fucking Instagram. But people were sending it to me going, what the fuck is this?

It's interesting. I don't know. Well, I mean, he's trying to pump himself up. He's getting excited about things. his fucking Instagram. But people were sending it to me going, what the fuck is this? It's interesting. I don't know. Well, I mean, he's trying to pump himself up. He's getting excited about things, trying to be positive. I get all that. I know he went through a really dark time,

so that's kind of sucked. Why are you standing there with your stomach sucked in like that, looking all sexy? Because maybe that's his crop. I don't know, man. You should do that. You know what you should do? You should do like the same thing that Steve-O did with Angelina Jolie, where all the tattoos that she gets, he gets.

You should do the same thing with all Dane Cook's tweets. All of his Instagrams? Every time he does an Instagram, you should do an Instagram in the exact same pose with the exact same caption. With my tits hanging out? I mean, considering what you just told us, you know, that whole thing. Oh, that was a long time ago.

I know, I know, I know. But it would be fun for a week project. For one week. For one week. Every time I do the same work thing he does. Just the same words, the same everything. Ah. Poor bastard.

He ain't a bad guy. I think he had a hard life. Did you see that fight that Seth Rogen's doing with Macklemore right now? Now it's Macklemore? I thought it was. What was he fighting with? Oh, because Macklemore did that kind of, he put on a costume, and a lot of people say it was anti-Semitic because it's like.

It is. Oh, yeah. I saw that he said that it's sort of just a random costume, that a wig and a fake nose is just a random costume. But it looks Hasidic. Yeah, look at that. I mean, that's ridiculous that he's even saying. Let me see the image.

Hold on. I've got to get it fixed. McLemore's the one who did it. Well, that's it right there. At the Grammys. Who's the guy in front of him who's mad at him? I think that's just Randy from American Idol or something. in front of him who's mad at him?

I think that's just Randy from American Idol or something. He says it's just a random witch's nose and a wig and something like that. I'm like, yeah, what are you trying to make? What else are you supposed to be right now? What does Seth Rogen say? First you tricked people into pretending you're a rapper and now you tricked them into thinking you're Jewish?

If you go to Seth Rogen's thing, he's going back and forth with them all day. Because Macklemore said, a fake witch's nose, wig, and a beard equals random costume. Not my idea of a stereotype of anyone. Of anybody. And then Seth Rogen goes, Macklemore, really? Because if I told somebody to put together an anti-Semitic Jew costume, they would have the exact same shopping list.

Okay, but here's my question why is it anti-semitic because he's got a big nose but so what what if you did one it was an italian guy and he had a wife beater on with spaghetti stains on and a lot of gold chains and he went on stage maybe there's some fucking morons in the italian american anti-defamation oh they were playing about it but you're telling me that people don't exist that look like that they do that's why for me who's predominantly Italian, wouldn't have a problem with someone to be on stage with a white beater on and gold chains with pizza stains on it. I mean, you could make a stereotypical Italian outfit and no one would care.

Why, if you made an outfit that makes you look like an Hasidic Jew, why is that anti-Hasidic Jew? If you can tell that that looks like a jew why is that anti-semitic because jews are sensitive but right i mean you know what i'm saying i mean look we're not talking about blackface here blackface has a history of the minstrel you know well jews would say there was a you know there was a lot anti-hebrew propaganda it was during in germany that led to the extinction as well a third of their population. There was.

But is that what that is? Because did they dress up? You know what I'm saying? I think it goes back to what you're saying. The minstrel shows intent. Right. I don't think Macklemore, who had gay marriage on his Grammy song, while he did a Grammy song, is going to be anti-Smack.

I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't feel that. There's a lot of sense of, they're not all Ari where they can joke about it all the time. Like, some people are very sensitive about that. It's too sensitive, I think, in that situation. I just think, look, if you dressed up like a Hasidic Jew, all right, say if you went on stage, okay, what's the rapper's name?

Badass rapper. Eminem. No, Hasidic guy. Oh, yeah. Manasiahu. How do you say it again? Manasiahu. That guy.

Manasiahu? Manasiahu. Fuck you, man. Say it right. How dare you? Rude. I didn't even know what it was five seconds ago. Pretending I'm offended.

Manasiahu, if you went on stage dressed up like him, is that anti-Semitic? If that's how he dresses and you dressed up like him. If you said it was him, he was just being a Jew. Right, but what was he doing? Well, he's saying he's not just being a Jew. But was Macklemore, in wearing that costume, was he doing an offensive Jewish accent? Or was he doing the same act? Or was he just being silly?

Let's see if I can find video of it. I just don't understand why looking like someone or a parody of someone has to be anti. And I use my own nationality. But I guess Italians, they're so fucking cocky into being Italian that they're not really marginalized. Well, there were people who... Like, I had a cousin, my cousin who's Italian. He apologized. He fucking caved.

Yep. You never apologize. Macklemore issues apology for anti-Semitic Jew costume as Seth Rogen heads out on Twitter. Seth Rogen wins again. That's why we win again. What is that? That's my Seth Rogen character. That's Yoda, you fuckhead is that? That's my Seth Rowling character That's Yoda you fuckhead

Jesus Christ Just stop talking Well you know it's like a lot of Italians hate the Sopranos I'm like dude it's not that bad It's the mob It's not like he's not running a gay bathhouse It's actually kind of a cool I don't know

I didn't find offense to it Well it's ridiculous to say that people like that don't exist. You're allowed to make a fictional character, and if a fictional character is really close to actual people, that's when people start getting pissed off. That's when people start saying it's stereotypes. But stereotypes exist for a fucking reason. Well, I don't know.

I think you're right. If he just went up there and just sang, dressed in that costume as him, I don't know what the, what's actually going on, but. I don't know either. But about the Sopranos thing, like the idea of like not using stereotypes is so, in painting a story is so fucking ridiculous. Well. Because sometimes stereotypes are accurate.

And if you're going to be able to paint a story, paint a creative vision, whether it's a television show or a movie, what's wrong with having a black pimp? Is that okay? I mean, it seems like there's black pimps. There's been black. I saw pimps up, hoes down.

Is it a stereotype? I mean, is it a stereotype? I tell people, I mean, Hollywood, I think stereotypes work, especially in commercials. It's like casting directors, like, oh, you fit the stereotype of the character. Well, it's not just that. It's like if you want to paint a story about real life, you would paint a story about things that people can relate to. And one of the things that people can relate to is an Italian guy with fucking pizza stains on his T-shirt and gold chains on.

Those are real people. Wearing sweatsuits. Yeah. If you got a guy wearing sweatsuits like fucking Tony Soprano, go, hey, where's the guy with the thing? Yeah. Where's the ZD? The fucking ZD.

Those are real people. Yeah. Like, you know those people. Yeah. If you listen to Floyd Mayweather's dad, okay, that's a real guy. Yeah. It's a real old black boxer. Yeah.

If you're going to make a parody of an old black boxer, and you had a guy who could speak very well and he looked like that guy and he started like if you got Ian Edwards to do Floyd Mayweather would that be a stereotype is it a terror stereotype when there's a real person that's like that I a lot of them I understand it is a stereotype but shouldn't you be allowed to do that when you're portraying fiction the idea that they would that the Italian American Defamation League would want every Italian to be like Leonardo da Vinci or Michelangelo or something like that. Right.

Only the most positive. You're not allowing people to create fiction. Yeah. You're not allowing them to create art. Is it because it's like actual facial features though? Like Macklemore's nose or Asian person's eyes, that's actually what they look like instead of what they're wearing? Well, I can see what you're saying so like like jerry lewis when he would do like the nutty professor and he

would all right they would uh the old days when they would do like uh fake asian characters yeah oh well that's obviously impressive right that was yeah but what about the girl typical but also very racist what about that famous actress who went as Orange is the New Black character who is black and she wanted to be that character and everyone's like, that's blackface, but it goes back to what is the intention. I don't know what you're talking about. I have no idea what you're talking about. Can you look that up?

The actress who went for a Halloween costume as Orange is the New Black. She's a hot blonde actress. And she went in blackface? She went in like as a Latino or black character and people are like, that's blackface. But the intention is

if I'm someone I want to go as Dwayne Wade, there's someone who went in, that's it. That's her. Okay. She loves the show. What's the intention there? Or do we have just a set rule? Still blackface. Yeah, you can't even go tanface. Tanface is dangerous

Right If you're not tan Like say you want to be a Brazilian You want to pretend to be Brazilian Yeah You can't do that You can't do that No no no no

You can't do tan face You can't do brown face But what you can do Is whiter face If you're a white person White girls You can make No you could do

A white person Could make the fucking Like make their skin White as shit And give themselves red hair And no one picks up Like no one picks up the slack I can go as Conan O'Brien

Is that what you're saying Exactly That's what I'm saying Sounds like a Halloween costume Sam Tripoli Alright dude What's the name of your CD again One more time

Believe in Yourself Believe in Yourself Ladies and gentlemen It's fucking hilarious It's very good material You can get it on iTunes Or allthingsrecords.com If you get it right now it'll pump Sam up

Let's get him past the top 10 Let's see where he's at right now While this podcast has been going on So we're looking for music Do we look for music And then we go to genres Let's go to comedy because it's a genre of music For some fucking reason And let? And then we go to genres. Let's go to comedy because it's a genre of music

for some fucking reason. And let's see where we're at right now. The comedy albums, number one, Jim Gryffin. He's been number one for a while.

He's a bad motherfucker. With the bullet. One with the bullet. Brian Regan's number 11. He's hilarious. Earlier today, Louis C.K. is number 14.

Where you at, son? I guess I've dropped. Ugh. I today, Louis C.K. is number 14. Where you at, son? I guess I've dropped. Punch Drunk Sports is also. Oh, dude, you're number eight. That's why. Yes. You're beating Louis C.K., man. Dude, you're beating everybody.

Yay. You're kicking ass, man. You're beating Brian Regan. That's why I couldn't find you. You're beating Louis Black. Powerful. Just through the fucking power of the internet. I'm so excited to be top 10.

You're not on any TV shows right now. You're just slamming it home through the internets. I'm really excited. Thank you, everybody. Congratulations, my brother. Congratulations. That's the best thing ever. Powerful Sam Tripoli.

Top 10. Follow him online. Tomorrow night, Ice House Comedy Club. Bill Burr. Tony Hinchcliffe. Me. Who else? Ian Edwards.

God damn, that's a show. Tomorrow night, 10.30. You want to go up? You around? Punch Young Sports. Brian Redman as well. Brian Redman as well. Don't do that fucking voice.

That's not what he sounds like. You don't think so? The naughty show. No. Come on. I hope do that fucking voice. That's not what he sounds like. You don't think so? No. Come on. No. Just shut the fuck up. You're the worst impressionist of all time. Tomorrow night, Ice House.

Okay, we'll see you soon. Thanks to the sponsors. Thanks to Squarespace.com. Go to Squarespace.com and use the code word Joe to save yourself some money. Thanks also to Onnit.com. Go to O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word Rogue and save 10% off any and all supplements. The Canada dates that I got coming up for next month,

the Orpheum on June 13, selling out fast, bitches. And I'm in Lloyd Minster on June 12th, and I think it's sold out already. If it's not, it's very close to it. And that's it. Much love. See you guys soon.

And a big kiss to you all. Mwah. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah..