The Joe Rogan Experience - #505 - Matt Farah & Alex Ross

Episode Date: May 22, 2014

Matt Farah is an automotive journalist whose work can be found on TheSmokingTire.com, and also on http://www.youtube.com/drive Alex Ross is the owner, and co-founder, of Sharkwerks, which creates dialed-in, tweaked-out modern Porsches for Porsche enthusiasts.

Danny Trejo? That was Danny Trejo? Yeah, you're a vampire. You're a vampire. I was trying to do Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. Hey, everybody. Today on the podcast, we have Alex Ross from Shark Works. Porsche aficionado, builder, developer.

Are you like an engineer, a designer, creator of the greatest fucking car the world has ever known? Matt Farah today, Matt Farah of the Smoking Tire. You might know him from many of the internet shows that you've put out, the Fuel TV show, the YouTube shows you put up. And as of Saturday, NBC Sports. And as of Saturday, NBC Sports.

Congratulations, young man. One of my favorite, there's like, young man. One of my favorite. There's like you and Chris Harris are my two favorite internet journalists. Thank you. Because you're both like regular dudes who fucking really love cars. He's not a regular dude. He's a maniac. He's a maniac.

He's a fucking maniac. He's crazier than you. He's way crazier than you. Way crazier the way he drives. But what you guys are is like people who have a real passion for automotive engineering and design and the history behind it and the kind of cars like you're a fucking car nut dude big world a lot of things to appreciate when we were on the the road today one of things I thought was fascinating was cars would drive by like

84 Supra look at that you hear the bat you hear the one but get all these every fucking car like you're a legit a hundred percent nut. Yeah. That's cool. I love the Miata especially. I pale in comparison. That guy was a fan, wasn't he? Yeah, that guy was a fan. He had a roll bar. Yeah, that guy was fun. Track day, bro.

He was funny. He turned around and came back just to see what the fuck was up. Well, we did have some metal out there. Yeah, there was some metal out there. Some fine cars Alex and James have built us. So Alex is the guy who, did you find, Shark Works, you're the founder of it too, right? You don't say find,

you say created and started. Yeah, he found it. Did you find it somewhere? He didn't found it. Just so happened to have your nickname as the name of the company, Sharky. What a coincidence,

that's crazy. And I figured, why not? Fuck it, this is a sign from God. Yeah. I just found this thing and this is what I love to do anyway. He happened to find this tuner company called Shark Work. And this tuner company takes-

They couldn't even spell it correctly either, so- Everybody looked for the O, and there's no O. What is this work? German, you assholes! German cars. I get it, I get it, I get it. They're being crafty. It's like comedy with a K when it's comedy night.

Kooky comedy with a K. K. Like a morning zoo? Yeah. Like the kooky comedy club, KKK. Does zoo? Yeah Like the Kooky Comedy Club KKK Does that exist somewhere? Probably

If it doesn't it will All things will happen eventually It's at least going to be A Twitter handle In the next few days for sure That's a fucking few minutes People are probably Jumping on it right now

Trying to figure it out Are we live? Yeah yeah yeah Oh we are okay Yeah yeah So Alex builds cars And what he does is He takes what's arguably The greatest race car for the street in the world,

which is a Porsche GT3, and he turns them into these ridiculous GT3s. These GT3s on performance-enhancing drugs, EPO, and all those Lance Armstrong chemicals. These fucking cars are just completely different animals, man. They're fucking fun. Thanks, man. Really loud and interesting. You just completely different animals, man. They're fucking fun. Thanks, man. Really loud and interesting. You just pull at them a little. You find the parts you like, like the high revving nature, the steering, and the whole delivery, the way the power comes on and just builds and builds.

And you just pull at that a little more. Seems to accentuate the existing character of the car, rather than try and turn it into something else. What year did the car get invented? What was the first Henry Ford automobile? 19... Oh. No, the car? The car? All cars? The first car.

1800s, late 1800s. There's arguments over who did it actually first. So there was a bunch of people thinking about it? 1880s, 70s, 80s yeah it was the first like trot you know little fucking carts well they just didn't have a horse pulling them but that's basically what they were yeah so on the long shot we're dealing with 130 years would you say yeah long shot yeah and on the short maybe just a couple years less yeah that's uh not that much time to figure shit out no but we were just talking alex and i were talking today about the old Porsches,

like those 1970s models with the big wooden steering wheel and the skinny-ass tires. Yeah, and they used to race them. It's like they must have been out of their mind. They were yo-yos. You know, every year they have the historic races. Oh, yeah. And they race this shit from, like, 1915. You know, these Mercer raceabouts.

Prehistoric. And they have these riding mechanics, and they're sitting on like fucking apple boxes. There's two guys. They're on wooden wheels, you know, and they're racing these things. Oh, my God. Yeah, going around Laguna Seca, you know,

with million-dollar cars, and they're going like eight-tenths. They're on like a fucking Oregon trail wagon with an engine and a handbrake. What we were talking about, which I found was really fascinating, was just in the past just 30, 40 years, look at how much things have changed in the car world. What did we decide? What was the first Porsche? What year was it?

65? Yeah, so 9-11. First Porsche? 9-11, first Porsche. 49. 49 was the first Porsche? What year was it? 65? Yeah, so 9-11. First Porsche? 9-11, first Porsche. 49. 49 was the first Porsche? Seinfeld's got that fucking thing. Well, you could go back to the Beetle.

20 million or something crazy? Estimates are like 6 to 8 million. Jesus Christ. Yeah, but you could go back to the Beetle, really. You know, pre-war, if you wanted to. VW Beetle. That's very Porsche. Let's just give them an era and go with the 65 911

right now. That was the first year. Think about that. So that's like 49 years now. It's the 50th anniversary. They released that special 50th anniversary. So think about that, man. How much that fucking car has improved in 50 years. But it's tiny little increments.

That's typical Porsche, right? They'll take it and just go like another ring around a a ring around uh around a tree you know ages and just gets a little bigger and i just drove the newest the 911 the new 911 turbo s which is like stupid time warp fast yeah well that was what i was going to get at at what point we were talking about this today and i think it's a fascinating subject because when you see all these google cars driving around like i saw a google one of, it wasn't the car that drove itself, but it was a street view thing. Street view car? It was driving around, filming everything, taking pictures.

No, I was, look, I find it fascinating. I think that's a felony. I find it like a, like something in the, it will be eventually. Google will sell it to the government. I'll use Google Zoom. It'll be the government's map teams assessing, you know, that'll be the new way to make jobs. Demolition man, bro. It's happening. Dude way to make jobs. Demolition Man, bro. It's happening.

Dude, it is happening. Demolition Man is fucking happening. We were talking about this today that this is probably not going to be around that much longer. Driving your own car is probably not going to be. And what we've gone from, these shit boxes with skinny-ass tires that slid all over the place, death traps, you couldn't hit the brakes quick enough. They were slow as fuck.

Terrible handling. Rhinos on roller skates. Each and every one of them. Right? And now, what we did today, driving these GT3s that you've modified

going through the canyons and they're just stuck to the ground like a cheetah running up a fucking tree. The limits of... Cheetahs don limits of growing trees. It doesn't even make sense.

Cheetahs don't even have claws like that. You had us right until the end. I'm sure I'm a leper. Damn it. You know what I mean? I think that era for Porsche

was the golden era though. I'd say from like 2001 till 2011. What do you say to all these people that long for the air-cooled days? Everybody, it's like two groups. They need to, I like the air-cooled days? Everybody, it's like two groups.

They need to, I like the air-cooled, but they just haven't driven these. And when they do, quite often, actually, like I was telling you, like Magnus Walker. Right. He's obviously renowned for air-cooled. He said it was one of the most fun cars he'd been in, you know? No, I'm sure. You know what? Porsche got off to a really bad start with the 996, which you had and told us the funniest story about earlier about all the problems.

Shit. It was a terrible car. And all 996s are pretty shit. I mean, they are. They're pretty shit. And the 993 was pretty dope. Like, the 993 Turbo was a fucking epic car. Like, they went from the best it could ever be to the 996.

What they did, though, on the 993, they were running out of money. So those were, I mean, they're worth a lot because they didn't build very many. And on the 996, that was the dot-com era. That was when everyone was buying a Porsche. They made tons and tons of them. And they switched to this rather naff engine, if you will, that had problems. And it's just, except for the turbo and then later the GT3. But I know you had problems with it.

Oh, mine was a hunk of shit. But I remember one of the reasons why I got it, because I'll never forget this cover. It was either Motor Trend or Road and Track. And it had the 993 911 Turbo on the cover. And it said, sell your soul and buy this car. Yeah, I think it was. It's that good.

Sell your soul. I think it was Motor Trend was that one. Whatever it was. I was like, that is goddamn car. Yeah, I think it was... It's that good. Sell your soul. I think it was Motor Trend was that one. Whatever it was, I was like, that is goddamn genius. And I had a friend who had a 964, and I remember just like, would stare at it and go, look at that goddamn thing. They're fucking dope. It's just amazing. I had a Curves. I drove your car

today, which is awesome. I got out of your car and I'm just like, okay, that's the best thing ever. And then I drive Alex's, which is the newer one of your car, you know, 4.1 liter, and I was like, oh, shit. That's another level. That's the best. It's crazy. It's fucking crazy.

Well, you have driven. To give people just a little background on Matt, Matt's one of my, like I said, favorite automotive journalists because he's a real car guy, a guy who really does enjoy cars, but also you have a deep knowledge of the history of automobiles and how they were created and all the different models and all those different things. Nerd. You're a guy who's driven fucking every car there is.

Yeah. So when you drive a car and say, this is the best car ever, that's a totally different thing. So I had the best car ever for 10 minutes. You did. for 10 whole minutes until alex stole the thunder with the new one fuck the new one's crazy i got in the new one and the first thing that i said to him is oh my god this is next level yeah this is i didn't think you can get next level and still keep that rawness but clearly you can oh you know we try to do sort of the same way that porsche goes you know i mean, we spent a lot of time on that green one that we did in order to develop.

It was called Kermit because it was green. Funny, but classic. Yeah, classic. Fucking creative is what it is. It's a dope fucking car, man. It was. That's the car that got me to contact you. Yeah.

I remember you saw a video. My wife made that video, actually. Oh, my God. This car is just so visceral. It's like for folks who don't appreciate automobiles and i completely understand let me try to put it into perspective and into way you could try to understand why people are like maybe you live in new york you take the subway you couldn't give a fuck but you're about to turn this podcast off okay there are there just talk about drugs and fighting again

joe geniuses there have been geniuses that have, over the course of decades, engineered, re-engineered, redesigned, rethought out these metal boxes with fire inside of them that are making controlled explosions. And they've got it down to a point where the car that you just drove, 2.5 seconds, 0-60 in the 911 Turbo. What the fuck is that? It's nuts. You actually do have to sort of defy physics because in the past you need very crazy procedures to do something like that.

Like racing tires and you can do drag slicks. You've got to heat them up. And they literally have put this stuff called VHD, which is very high traction, which is a spray. It's literally like you'd have to do a drag launch in glue. That's what it is exactly. That's what it is.

You know what I mean? They put down a puddle of glue, set it on fire, and then you have to do your launch in that. Is that why they do those burnouts at the drag shows? Yeah, they heat up the tires and get them really sticky. I thought they were just being dicks. Well, they're being awesome. I knew what they were doing.

But they fucking, the 911 turbo, you just roll up to a stop sign, press one button, left foot brake, right foot gas, and you violate time. And you're breaking every law in the country in three seconds yes three seconds now how is this how is it possible that the launch control can make it

that much faster what's the zero to 60 if you just had it in drive and you stomped on it um it wouldn't it wouldn't like you know it wouldn't uh hold the rpms or build any boost right so the 911 turbo is really cool because it builds boost in neutral. And it's one of the very few turbo engines that do that. And so launch control holds the RPM at the exact optimum speed, builds boost to peak, and then just dumps the clutch for you versus being in drive where it starts from one and goes up. So how many seconds do you lose when you just do it from drive,

say if you did it manually and you shifted gears yourself? I'll have to be really honest. I've built and driven a lot of 997 turbos and some 991 turbos, and I've never launched them with the... Launch control? No, I always do it with launch control.

Really? Because they're all PDK. The old cars that were six speeds, you could launch them, and they were actually quite hard cars to launch. For folks who don't know what you're talking about, PDK means, here's the big debate. It means lame.

For folks who are on the subway now, again, ready to turn this fucking thing off. The big debate amongst people in the car world that enjoy sports cars and the engineering of sports cars is the manual transmission, which is with a third pedal where you have to press in the clutch to shift the gears or an automatic transmission or as alex said a pdk which is porsche double couple um complung clunky yeah it's some long german

word you're supposed to know how to pronounce it hey do you know how to do it yeah who no whatever it is canadian james can. They're ridiculous for using that name. It's German for Porsche double clutch. Yeah. Yeah. Doppelklunger. Yeah. Something like that.

So they call it PDK. And it's a double clutch is what it is. It's a clutch with a K. It's a kooky clutch. And it does everything for you perfectly every time. You shift gears with paddles. I own one PDK car. It was the first launch car.

It came out in 08. and they even screwed up that. What they did is they had these buttons. I don't know if you've driven these PDK cars, right? They have these buttons right where you put your palms on the wheel, right? Yeah. So you would be, say, in fourth gear, and you're coming into a turn. You want to bump it down to third and go into second. So you'd go into third, and then as you're turning,

your palm would bump that stupid button. And instead of being in third, and then as you're turning, your palm would bump that stupid button, and instead of being in second, you'd be in fourth. Without getting into specifics, you're just saying the gear changes around the steering wheel, instead of on the paddles, like a traditional race car. Yeah, it's a dumb move. They stuck with that shit like glue, too.

Porsches are very fucking determined. Do you know how to get proper paddles now? There's a scam The standard is those dumb buttons on the wheel You gotta spend 500 bucks on the sports steering wheel Oh my Can they retrofit that? Can you buy like one?

Yeah we do it Okay well that's a nice thing to know Because those buttons are jackass It's bullshit Stupid dog shit design And then you know how else they screw you guys in America? Well me too now Fuck yeah Yeah that's right You know what they do? Jackass. It's bullshit. Stupid dog shit design. And then you know how else they screw you guys in America? In America? Well, me too now.

Fuck yeah. Yeah, that's right. You know what they do? They take the ability to have any of your radio controls, all these other buttons that you have on the steering wheel. If you take the paddle shifter one, they assume that you're having to concentrate so much that you're not allowed to have any of those buttons. Right. So you can't answer your phone. I like that though.

That is kind of cool. Steering wheel buttons fucking suck. I'm not a fan of steering wheel buttons. In a Porsche. In a Porsche, I guess. I don't like them in of cool. Steering wheel buttons fucking suck. I'm not a fan of steering wheels. I don't like them in any cars. But you have them in your... I have them on the BMW.

And the Cayenne, right? Yeah, it's got buttons everywhere. I tested a car last year. I think it had 18 buttons on the fucking steering wheel. It's ridiculous. How many buttons? How many of the buttons have you pushed in your Cayenne? I'm not a button pusher, man.

I'm not into that shit. I think there's a certain part of me buttons have you pushed i'm not a button pusher man i'm not into that shit i think um i think there's a certain part of me that really does like like to look in an old like a 69 mustang interior and appreciate the simplicity yeah i appreciate like like remember when um chris harris built that 911 real simple green 911 rally car yeah yeah beautiful beautiful car i loved that car and i loved how simple he made everything yeah the interior just had an old retro stereo a modern stereo no no no is a Mexico hi yeah yeah yeah it was one of those they stick them in every retro yeah but you can have like

navigation on those things it's basically an iPhone yeah yeah yeah essentially yeah but I think it does nav too you can you can get that kind of You can have like navigation on those things. It's basically an amp for an iPhone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More or less. Yeah. But I think it does nav too. I don't know how. But you can get that kind of simplicity. You don't have to go that old. You can get anything up to like early 90s almost. Yeah.

You can have that same, you know, an 89 Porsche. Yeah. Is fucking simple. But you know what? You don't feel like you're driving an antique. Right. You know what I mean? Right, right, right. You can still like, like you drive something from the 70s and you don't feel like you're driving an antique. Right. You know what I mean? Right, right, right.

You can still like – like you drive something from the 70s and you don't want to like huck it into a corner because you're like, if this goes wrong, I'm dead. Yeah. You know? But late 80s, you can kind of drive it harder and not be kind of afraid of the antique. That's when they started to figure it out, right? With Porsche, it was like the 964. They started to figure out the handling really, right? Yeah.

One before that. Before that, the 930? No, the suspension was way improved like the 964. They started to figure out the handling, really. One before that. Before that, the 930? No, the suspension was way improved on the 964s. But even in that sense, I mean, Honda and Acura, I mean, the NSX blew away the 964. It blew away the Ferrari. It blew away Porsche. Yeah, I remember the first time I ever saw an Acura NSX, I was in Boston, and some dude drove by with a red one, and everybody's jaw dropped.

They're like, oh, my God. In 89, that was a fucking the future. It was 89, and some dude drove by with a red one and everybody's jaw dropped. They're like, oh my god. In 89, that was a fucking, the future. It was 89 too. Yeah, it was. It was incredible. This guy pulled into Kenmore Square in this fucking red spaceship. Oh my goodness. Everybody knew it was aluminum. It's aluminum.

It's crazy. Now the F-150's aluminum. I was repeating shit that I didn't understand. There's baffles in the fuel line. I don't even know what the fuck that meant. And the rods.

The rods are titanium. The baffles in the fuel lines, man. It's a 2.8 liter V6. No, the rods are titanium. That's really important. Well, you know what that was amazing about that car,

the Acura NSX, was that it was a fucking Honda. That shit was bulletproof. Yeah, yeah. You still see them around with hundreds of thousands of miles on their face. That's why I went back to one

after the Porsche fucked me so hard. The 996 was so bad. By the way, this is, again, where people who are angry at white guys talk about things they own. This is when they're tuning off the podcast. So we killed off all the people who aren't car nuts. We killed off all the people

who don't like white people talking about buying shit Ladies, ladies next Ladies are next Who does that leave? No one, there's no one Just us There's no one It was just an echo chamber, god damn it

But those NSXs, the cool thing about them was You knew that they were never going to fuck you Never Those things were I never had a single I had two NSXs I never had a single problem Yeah, you just changed the oil, checked the tires And I drove them All the way to eight grand Those things were... I never had a single... I had two NSXs. I never had a single problem.

Yeah. You just change the oil, check the tires. And I drove them. Yeah. All the way to eight grand. And they handle beautifully. I don't know anyone that has one that has less than 100,000 miles on it. They're so great.

I still have mine. Oh, yeah. Alex has one. Yep. I still have my 91 NSX. Well, they're going to fuck that car up too. They did. They're coming out with this crazy spaceship hybrid with fucking dual clutch transmission.

They're fucking up the whole thing. The simplicity of the original car. Just make it fucking light and call it a day. Here's the thought. What if Porsche or someone said, you know what? Let's put out a minimalist car. Fuck all this nonsense. Let's put out a car that has no electronics at all except for the speedometer, the fuel.

1973 type shit where you look at those old classic gauges you get limited information, bitch let's assume everything's working, get out on the fucking road and concentrate on driving manual transmission they had that with the 914, right? that's a dog shit car

40 years ago dog shit ugly as fuck it's a terrible idea it's good to put giant slicks on and chevy engines in oh no people who care no but it's i know but it's it's light it's light i'm not saying i understand it's light and simple dog shit car yeah if they had done that with a 993 with a simple leather interior you know like no well they do in Europe try RS America

That was dog shit compared to the European ones was the RS America the night before yeah my god We're into geekdom ladies and gentlemen the 964 is the car before the 993 so we're talking about Ladies, you know, they still look like that same shape. Yeah now in Europe we get all the fun stuff We get like plastic windows we get like rolls, that same shape. No, in Europe, we get all the fun stuff. We get plastic windows. We get roll bars, door pulls. You also have to pay $11 a gallon for fucking gas. I just drove across Europe. It was, in US dollars,

$10.50 a gallon. It's so weird how Porsche is so genius. Their work is so genius. The cars they produce are so fucking masterful, just amazing pieces of engineering. But they'll stick with these dopey-ass ideas like a pit bull, like the dumb buttons on the fucking wheel that they kept forever. Well, they have the pride, man. Yeah, and how about the fact that they have these two incredible cars, the Cayman and the Boxster,

and they fuck them by giving them low horsepower because if they jumped them up to where the Porsche 911 is You'd have a way better car than the 911 and they got a real fucking problem Alex How come you haven't stuck a gt3 motor in a cane? That's what I'm saying. Yeah, well the best car ever They drove one once yeah No, they came in is with a gt3 and who has won a guy in New York. I had one who did that Yeah, a company called Farnbacher Lulz did it. Yeah, you don't want to Google that name right now. Yeah, their ex-owner, Greg Lulz, just got sentenced to, was it a dude?

Probably to death. Was it 10? Because he robbed a church. Yeah, 10 years he got. He robbed a church. He embezzled every fucking dime in that place. Why does it have to be him? He could be our saver.

He could be our Obi-Wan. His head tech who actually built that car has his own shop in New York now. Wow. His head tech. Holler at me, dude. Let's make something real. Let's look it up. Let's make something real.

I think that would be the most ridiculous car ever. It would. A Cayman with a GT3 engine in it. What would that weigh? It wouldn't even weigh 3,000 pounds. It would be 3,100 probably. How about if you fucking cut it? You'd still need to do a lot of work on the rear, the suspension.

You know, like you said, Porsche likes to hamstring the Cayman. They hamstring it with crappy struts. Even the new ones? I thought the new ones, they made it a lot better. They really, really want to defend the 911. I mean, they don't do cars because it's awesome. Think about how crazy that is. You have this incredible design, beautiful car, and you fuck it in the butt just so that you can

keep your old car viable. BMW does it too, buddy. The 1 Series M? Yeah. That car has all of the M3 suspension shit, but in a tinier car. And it was fostered in the M3. So it can out-handle the M3. It's cheaper than the M3.

And it has an engine that if you just do-do-do-do-do on the computer, it could be faster than an M3 also. But they dial it back. So I just drove this Dynan one, the Dynan 1M. Oh, that's right. Because Dynan doesn't give a fuck about the M3. I like how you said that, too.

He don't give a fuck about the M3, kid. Steve Dynan don't give a fuck. Not a single fuck. Or her daddy. Or that bitch's mama. Not a single fuck was given on that day And so his shit has 450 horsepower And hauls fucking ass Now is that

That's available Like right now you can go buy one You can get that from Dynan How is the gear shifting on that It's manual It's manual They make it in manual See here's the thing with that car

Cause the reason You said you didn't like the 911 Turbo because it doesn't come in manual. I see your point. However, cars like the new 911 Turbo and this Dynan thing are so fucking fast that if you have to shift it yourself, it's actually hard to keep up. Yeah. Is it faster, you think, than the GT3 RS that he made? No, but the GT3 RS that he made has longer gearing. That's it?

That's the 1M? That's what they're putting together? Yeah, there it is. Holy shit, that looks awesome. Matter of fact, is that our picture? I don't know. No, it might be Jalopnik's picture. That is a delicious-looking car.

Isn't that tasty? I bet that's cheap as fuck, too. You could pick up the car right now for about $55,000 and then $20,000 more for the kit. They held their value pretty well. I thought it was lower than that. For some reason, I thought that was like their entry-level $35,000 car. It's the top of the bottom. Oh, I see.

So they make an M. What is the normal M that comes from BMW? 330 horsepower. That's still pretty fucking fun. You can tune all the turbo cars, the hair dryers, you can tune them, do some computer work, and you can add more boost. So the 330, is that a naturally aspirated?

Twin turbo 6. Oh, really? That's why the other ones are so fast, because they just boost the hell out of them. Wow. That must be an enormously fun car to drive. It's crazy. It's stupid, stupid, stupid fast. I told you earlier, I tried to keep on a photo shoot a photo shoot with, like, a 3.8 RS, a 4.0 RS, and an R4.1. I was following in a 1M, the journalist that was doing the story.

He owns one. And, I mean, just trying to keep up, the car was going all over the road sideways. And, you know, I basically got all four tires bald at the end of the day. Is it really that badass of a fucking car? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's my new car. There's very few cars. It's like an American muscle car, but a European version of it, right?

That's what I'm looking for, bitch. Because we make everything smaller there. I don't know. I don't know about that. Not an American muscle car. No, AMGs are like German muscle cars. Yeah. But this thing, it's pretty nuts.

I didn't even see this. It's pretty nuts. I love the idea. I mean, it's not a fucking Porsche, but it's pretty nuts. I didn't even see this. It's pretty nuts. I love the idea. I mean, it's not a fucking Porsche, but it's small and really fast and has, you know, handlebars. It kind of looks like an accordion 3 series, right? It's kind of like squished. Yeah, a little bit. But they sold only a limited number of them here in the U.S., and they immediately started going up in value.

It's like a stubby M3. So now they're like five to eight grand over MSRP, two years. Well, I think it shows this fucking trend that's going on, this minimalist trend, where people are looking at all this shit on their computer. I have a buddy who has a Tesla. You know you don't have any buttons. You just talk to that fucking thing. You tell it what the climate you want. You tell it where to go.

He used it as a Google search. It has its own 3G engine. 3G, though, which is whack. It's just 4G. Are they not on 4G yet? Oh, Matt. They got it. They got a fucking 3G.

Like cave people. No LTE in that bitch. So he can be in the car and go the black keys. And then it's Spotify. It pulls up the black keys and play number one. Boom. Starts playing a song. I'm like talking to my fucking car. I don't need to be talking to my fucking car.

I'm no fucking Michael Knight or something. That's one of the things I really love about the M3 is it has that little dial where you can have buttons around the dial. One's your phone. One's your nav. It's super easy to get to. Pop buttons. Pop buttons are key. It's a much better system than the dial. One's your phone. One's your nav. And it's super easy to get to. Pop buttons. Yeah. Pop buttons are key. It's really easy.

It's a much better system than the Porsche. The Porsche has everything set in perfect position for driving, without a doubt. They don't want any buttons. But all that other ergonomics and shit's over there. The Germans don't even... They didn't even give you cup holders until like 98 in the fucking 90s. And they're terrible cup holders. They hide them behind like a carbon fiber piece now.

It's actually nice of them. I like that. I like that too. It's cool. BMW has it too. You just press a button and it pops out. Your car is a good cup holder, Andrew. I put my coffee in it this morning,

and then I was doing a pretty good clip up Angeles Crest, and the coffee, see my Corvette has the worst cup holders known to man. I call it the G meter because when you turn left, your beverage goes right. And it just goes all over your fucking floor. Your Corvette is an awesome piece of machinery, too. It is pretty cool. You have a Corvette that you bought when you graduated high school, right?

And you still have it. You still drive it all the time. I hit 30,000 miles two weeks ago. So 130? No, no, 30. Just 30? 30. 30 ever.

That's the C5, right? Yeah, it's a 98. You just hit 30,000 miles. How is that possible? We always, literally, there's always, like, shit in our house to drive. I just, like, it's never been a first car. It's always kind of. But that's amazing.

You bought this fucking car in the 1980s. You might have, like, one of the best 1980s Corvettes on the market. It's a 98, not an 80. Oh, 98. Yeah, it's a 98. But yeah, it's probably up there at this point. So what year did you buy it? Did you buy it new in 98?

New in 98. And all the stuff that you had done to it, like the roll bar and the engine modifications. It was stock for like eight years, and that was all done in 06, and I haven't done shit since. Wow. It's a great car. It's a fun car. Corvettes are awesome because they just fucking work. You know what I mean?

The interior is made of shitty plastic, like, yeah, and when you close the door, it sounds like Legos are rattling around in there. It's not a 911, but it's got really good balance and really good power, and it just works all the time. It's a lot like a fanny pack. You can't give a fuck what you look like. You just got to accept how awesome it is to you. It's awesome to me. You can't give a fuck what you look like. You just gotta accept how awesome it is

to you. It's awesome to me. I don't give a fuck what you see. There's your car right there. Hey, that's my car. Oh, look, with my fucking bipolar psycho ex-girlfriend in the passenger seat. Shazam. Boom. Don't give out any information. Ditch the chick, kept the car.

Good move. Always a good move. Cars will rarely tell you what to do. They'll fucking hit you. Sometimes they're like, I need some gas. But that's about it. Corvettes have gone a lot, lot better, man. They're good. They're the fanny pack of the automotive world.

They're good platforms to start your build. You start from a Corvette, take everything the GM cheaped out on, which is a lot, and then make that better, and then you've got a really good car. Yeah, I like the ZR1 the best, like some of my customers have them. Well, better than that, even. No, no, you know what it is? You sit in the car, and you're like, this is a ZR1, and it has a Chevy Cobalt steering wheel.

Yeah. They've fixed that. But better than that was that one that you drove. The race car company, what is it? Oh, the AVI Racing. The tube frame? No, the guys who make their own body. It's a bit wider.

All carbon fiber. Oh, the Pratt & Miller C6 RS thing. Yeah. Which is a crazy idea. Like the race car version. Sort of a Shark Works situation. Actually, it's pretty close. Yeah.

They took a great car, the ZR1, and they said, you know what? Here's what we're going to do. We're going to go with a naturally aspirated engine. We're going to make that bitch about 600 motherfucking horsepower. Was it eight liters? Roars like a demon. I think that was an eight liter KJK. Pull it up.

Pull it up, Jamie. What is the name of the video? Pratt & Miller C6 RS. C6. And is it Smoky Tire? Yeah, it's on the Smoky Tire. I think it's fucking eight liter V8. It's a gorgeous car. It's a lot of liters. It's a gorgeous, gorgeous car. think it's fucking eight liter v8. It's a gorgeous car

It's a gorgeous gorgeous car and it's super duper. There's a video too, right? Yeah, I think it was go 200. Oh my god. Look how thin I was there. I was so fucking It's like five years you're breathing okay, you still let's not out of the game. Don't tap out before it's too late. So this thing, yeah, it's an all-carbon fiber body. It's like eight inches wider than a regular Corvette. The noise. Yeah. Oh, the noise.

So Pratt & Miller basically is the company that builds GM's factory race cars. And so they built sort of a street homologation kind of special of the race car. And what they did was they made a new body that was like a really high quality carbon fiber and a super high quality leather interior, which is something that these cars were really missing. Yeah, they lacked that stuff. It's hilarious. I haven't looked at this video in a while.

Looking at it now, it's fucking so silly to think that that was a $200,000 car, though. Is that what it was? $200,000? 8.2 liters, yeah. Dude, if I had $200,000 burning all over my pocket, I might go right to that. Dude, why not $400,000? They built seven of these. A friend of mine has sold four of them.

But that's a mean, mean car, man. It's so beautiful. Yeah yeah that's like a perfect american muscle car still got that there's your cobalt steering wheel yeah that one's colored with leather though that was leather and stitched and still looking like i don't know like a steering wheel is like a mouse you know like for a computer why have you a shitty steering wheel why have a shitty mouse i'm a good mouse it's really surprising how many people if you're always complaining about something like a steering wheel people go what do you give a fuck bro and it's like my hands are literally on this the entire time i own this car when it also it gives you information about a car like you know

like those those uh magnus walker porsches with the momo prototipo steering wheels there's something about those old school steering wheels like you hold it on to them and you're actually driving i don't have any filters right there's no filter no filter straight there leather metal There's something about those old school steering wheels Like you hold it onto them And you're actually driving a car Well they don't have any filters right There's no filters No filter Straight there Leather, metal

And then you react to it But it's also like You're looking down at that thing And it gives you like Yeah this is a fucking 1972 RS Whatever the hell he calls those things The best you get like a 59 Caddy

With the fucking wheel That's like a steamship wheel You know what I mean You're like, tacking! Well, those were boats. I mean, isn't it interesting that they basically had nautical steering wheels and they were fucking boats? Yeah.

Should have had a fucking tiller then, huh? Those things were ridiculous. And that was just a few decades ago. A few decades ago. How fucking cool were we in the late 50s? Remember when America was fucking cool? We weren't like the shitbags of the fucking world. You know what I mean?

Everyone didn't hate us. They wanted our shit and not just like, you know. Nah, you guys hate yourselves. Now you guys. We should. Our country, we're horrible. He's got a lot of weird misconceptions about America. Have you noticed that?

Yeah. I mean, not to like gang up on him. You and me on Team America here. Yeah. With this fucking wacky Brit. He's got some crazy ideas about us. Okay, I found out you guys can play pool. I found out you guys can drive.

But listen, man. No, you can drive, dude. Just so everyone knows. You can play pool, too. You just got to pay attention to where that ball's going. I can try to give you some pointers. Dude told me he plays good pool. And a guy tells you he plays good.

He can play a really good pool. He told me he played really good. I go, how good do you play? He goes, I can play really good. I said, I used to play well. And that's what we learned. I don't recall that. I don't recall you saying you play really good.

I said I did play well. Sorry, that's what I said. Yeah, I did play. So it was past tense, but I was thinking I was going to be better when we started playing. The analysis of this statement. I just knock a couple balls around on the table, and he's making all these judgments about me. Well, because you were holding it like an American.

You were holding the cue like, well, we play snooker. Remember when it was, first it was best of five, and then it became 5-0. Hey, hey, come on. In all fairness, the last game, there was only one little ball left. It didn't matter. You were never going to get that ball in. I was going to get the ball.

The last game, there was one ball left. I just lost a little ball. That ball get that ball in. I was going to get the ball. The last game, there was one ball in. I just lost a little ball. That ball was never going in. It was going. It was going. I just didn't get to it. You build awesome cars, buddy. The idea of you getting to it and then getting to the eight ball is beyond preposterous.

I know, dude. They weren't anywhere near each other. I was in no danger. I told you, man. I was just waiting. The tightness of the pocket. You guys have weird, like, super tight pockets in the U.S. We don't play that way.

Well, it's this table, really. This is way tighter than a regular table. A regular table is a 5-inch pocket. That's a 4-inch pocket. It's a version of pockets. And Ernesto Dominguez, who's one of the – he's a big player in L.A., like, pro player. And he's also a great table mechanic. And him and his son, Oscar, who's another pro player, they put together these, like –

an Ernesto cut table, like, a big deal. Like, he's the master when it comes to putting together those Brunswick. So this guy, Donnie Wessels, sold it to me. It's a 1972, 73 table. It's very mod. My first shot, I don't know if you can remember that because it was a while ago, but my first shot. I remember it so well.

Dude, I hit it hard. You say, why'd you hit it so hard, right? And on a normal table, it had gone in, right? And instead it just went and did that little pinball thing. Yes. Can we talk about anything else? That doesn't matter. That's the thing. The ball going in or not does not matter to America.

Okay, so Americans from Claypool. What Americans are getting right now is like a peek into your madness. The same madness that led you to be this master engineer and improver of Porsches leads you to be a crazy person if you fucking miss a shot on a pool table. You're talking about a goddamn podcast two hours later. Well, the reason why that one didn't go in is because I'm not American. The sun was in the wrong place on the horizon.

It was in the third house. Vaseline on my fingernails. Yeah. No, you can play. You're the best American pool player that I've played against. Well, then you ain't played against shit because I'm fucking terrible compared to like a real good pool player. So you can't go running around. It's home field advantage.

No, you can't. Please. You can't go running around telling people you're good at pool. I wouldn't, but I was doing this thing where, you know, like, man, Americans always say they're good at stuff, right? And then I was just testing you a little. You got to de-badge your M5 on me. I don't, but I was doing this thing where, you know, like, man, Americans always say they're good at stuff, right? And then I was just testing you a little. You got to de-badge your M5 for me. I don't understand why anybody would say Americans always do this and British people always do this. Every British person I met has been at least partially unique and individual in their own personality traits, the way they behave.

So when someone starts saying that every American does this, I go, that is a poorly thought out idea, my friend. I wanted to see if it was furniture or the real deal, and I found out it was the real deal. Furniture or the real deal? I found out it was the real deal. Four-inch pockets, bro. Yeah, bro, four-inch pockets, bro. Well, yeah. That's going to be a meme.

I just met my first actually dumb English person. We were just in the UK. Your first? No, I've never... I don't spend a ton of time in the UK, but the English accent makes you sound smarter than you are, even if you're not that smart.

We were just in the UK and a waiter had trouble counting the number of people at our table. There were five. That's a tough one. Despite the accent i was like huh you're fucking stupid what part of the uk was that taken from the top where were we one we've got one king was it okay so dude there's this place called london they build mclaren's

yeah okay well yeah okay maybe they worked them too much and the guy was tired you know you get so tired you can't even remember your own name? What's your name, sir? Matt Farah. If you're in England, it's Clive. You can't remember how to count to five. Head trauma. Could have been a boxer when he was young.

Could be catching up to him. You've explained this particular Englishman's stupidity possibly. Just trying to give him the outs. The outs. All the outs he deserves. Hands up. You can play pool deep. He's still going back to the fucking pocket thing.

Holy shit. Alex Ross and weed don't mix together so smoothly. This is something we found out today. Some people, you give it to them and it releases something inside of them that they should keep in. They should keep it collected and tucked away. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea. That's a badass car, though, you make, sir. You make a fucking picture.

There's a photo of it right there. No more photos there, fella. No. So you've been in this car making business for, like, how long now? Since basically 05. 05. And before that, I thought this was hilarious. Yeah. You used to be in the video game world, and you were actually on Screensavers.

Yeah, I was. I had segments on there. I used to love that show. That show was great. Leo Laporte. Leo Laporte and Pat Norton. Yeah. It was a great show.

I used to love that show. I was a total uber geek. I used to build my own PCs. That was the show of the first hot nerds, too, right? They had those hot nerd girls. Oh yeah, they did. They all went on to do... How long ago was this?

Am I too young? Yeah, you weren't born yet. It was probably like the early 2000s, right? Late 90s, early 2000s. Was it late 90s? Yeah. It was on TV.

Yeah, it was on real TV. Tech show on TV. It was the only one of its kind. It was kind of like the top gear without the... Yeah, it was the top gear of PC stuff. You almost said

without the buffoonery. That's what you were going to say. Yeah, I was going to say. You're going to shit all over Jeremy Clarkson right here on this podcast. Your fellow Englishman. I know what you're doing. You're about to go down. Well, he doesn't like Porsches, and he just says it all the time.

So it's hard to see eye to eye with him. But he's a character. Don't you think he's at least partially a character? He drove a 911 Turbo and compared it to the 45 – not the 458, the 430, remember? Yeah. And he loved it. He did say it. He was ranting and raving about how fantastic it is. He smoked the 430, if I remember properly.

But he was just talking about how it's so easy to drive. But he's also crashed two GT3s. He has. But he left the shots in. He didn't edit it out of the film. But then he blamed the car. He always blames the fucking car. That's what he does.

You are not one to judge someone else for making excuses no right now never made an excuse in your life have you i want to hear your excuse for not making any excuses catholic boarding school okay that's my um where i go with that though it was in fairness he crashed porsches and made fun of himself when he did it he said because these cars I don't like these cars because they don't tolerate fools and I am a fool. Yeah line. It's true Yeah, I mean he drives like a fucking maniac That's half of the fun of him is you know that he's this kind of unhinged dude who drives like a maniac Yeah, but he shat on a BMW because he spun it in the straight line It was raining and he just spun the car.

Yeah. And his conclusion was that the car sucked. Well, the thing is, though, his kind of car is different than what I would like. His kind of car is indeed one that makes smoke everywhere. It goes sideways. That's why he likes all the big AMGs, and that's fun. I kind of like traction and getting in the rhythm and driving through canyons. So that's why I like Porsches.

Yeah. You know, I think a car that makes unnecessary burnouts is a kind of stupid car. It's fun for a bit, right? Like a Shelby. Yeah. They're fun cars. They're fun. But they're kind of stupid.

Like, that's fucking retarded. Like, that car, you're not in control of it. The whole thing is you're in control of something you're not in control of. You're kind of in control of it, but it's going sideways. It's supposed to go straight. It's like bull riding with one of those cars. You know, like how I got into the car thing, too. I mean, I took a

996 Turbo, you know, and I went drag racing with it. Talk about stupid, right? An English guy going to a drag strip. What difference does it make if you're English, Iranian, Polish? Okay, English guys don't drag race. They don't? We go around, you know, tracks and stuff. There's a bunch of Englishmen that are going to be fucking knocking on your Twitter door

I've been dragged races before you and your daddy's dick a friend of mine's got a 69 charger in England you drag races Got a parachute. See shit. Yeah, so there you go. So I'm talking nonsense again and John this fucking English people Don't do this shit selling your own country, but down a river Calling Jeremy Clarkson a scoundrel or some such He just doesn't like Porsches. He's always a funny guy, man. He doesn't need to like Porsches. There's probably a lot of music he likes that I think is dog shit. We don't need to like the same goddamn things. You know what?

He's like furniture in a way. He's just been around. You sit on it. You use it. And you appreciate it. Let's be real about what's going on here. You're a Porsche fanboy. I am.

I am. But I'm wearing a Honda shirt. You are. It's okay You're a Porsche fanboy. I am. I am. But I'm wearing a Honda shirt. You are. It's okay to be a Porsche fanboy. It's okay. As long as, yeah, they do make good cars. They make the best cars. I think they make the best cars.

They make the most satisfying cars. You know what I wish they wouldn't do? What? Is make four-door cars and sedans and all that other shit. Son, you're talking out of your nonsense hole because you need to get a hold of one of those Panameras and stomp that fucking thing on the highway. I launched. hole because you need to get a hold of one of those Panameras and stomp that fucking thing on the highway. Stomp that motherfucker on the highway and watch time

bend in front of your eyes while you're driving a fucking sedan. You're in some cozy executive chair with plush leather and you're violating time. Panamera Turbo are... The new ones are nice. They're loud and shit too. They make all kinds of good noises now.

It's only $190,000. I drove one, $227,000. Oh, God. Long wheelbase, Turbo S with ceramics, and the full interior rear. We were going to get one to do development on, right? Before it came out, we put in an order. What could you possibly do to that thing? You can add software.

You can add exhaust because it's a turbocharged car, right? We add about 100 horsepower to those cars usually. Oh, my God. They can make like 700 out of those things. But I totaled up the bill for the build sheet because I wanted ceramics to go out of that. Those are like carbon ceramic brakes for geeks. They don't create any dust and they don't heat up. They're great brakes.

They feel like the best brakes ever. They last mostly forever. Except if you go to the racetrack. But anyway, yeah, the bill was like $190,000. Yeah. Wow. $190,000 over. For a four-door car.

Wow. And you know how those four-door cars are. You buy them and then two, three years later, I mean, they're worth nothing. They're worth nothing. You can't get rid of them. Isn't that interesting how that works? What is the 42010 Panamera Turbo is going for now?

Can you get them for like 70 grand yet? Around, yeah, almost. My dad had a Cayenne Turbo, which I know you've got. Yeah. And that was like 108 new in 05, and he sold it for 28 in 09. That's insane. The dealer offered him 20 even on trade.

Yep. I remember there was one that one of my customers has had like eight different Cayennes, because he's had 911 Turbos, but he also has Cayennes. And one of them was the Cayenne Turbo S, and it did. It stickered up to like 160 something. It had ceramics, everything, Aero Kit. Ceramics? Yeah, ceramics. one of the things that I like about American cars is the there's a disaster going on right now with American cars there was a long

period of just fucking terrible ideas and shitty design and shit build quality yeah but at least there's a series of cars that have stuck with a manual transmission only. The Shelby GT500, the Viper. You can't get a fucking automatic transmission. Can you imagine an automatic Viper? They'll make it. It's a matter of time. You can still get manual Corvettes, too.

You can start getting the double-clutch Corvette, which I think is a thing. No, it's not a double-clutch. It's an auto. Oh, it's still auto? It's a torque converter auto. I thought the new one was a double-clutch. I thought is a good idea. No it's not a double clutch, it's an auto. Oh it's still auto? It's a torque converter auto. I thought the new one was a double clutch, I thought the first... Torque converter.

The one that you drove, no Chris Harris drove one in a 911. That was an auto. That was an auto. It was a fucking auto. That's such dog shit. That auto sucks too, but you can get it in stick, like you can get it. As long as you can get it, it's fine. But the new ones, apparently, you've driven it.

Which? Jump up, huge jump, the new Corvettes. you've driven it. Which? Jump up. Huge jump. The new Corvettes. The new Corvettes are great. It's just a motherfucker. The one I drove had the performance pack on it, the magnetic ride, the shocks. The shocks. GM has the coolest shocks in the world.

They're so cool that Ferrari licenses the design. Oh, I saw that out there. It's called magnetic ride control. Sorry. So the shocks have a magnetic fluid in the shock as opposed to a hydraulic fluid or whatever that they normally use. And they send different levels of current through there to make it soft or firm and variable. Wow. Right?

And Ferrari uses them on the F12, the 458, all the Ferraris use them. Yeah, they had that cool advert where they had a Cadillac CTS-V going around a racetrack, and it was following a Ferrari. I thought that was pretty cool how they kind of worked together, and they actually advertised a Ferrari and a Cadillac

together. I bet it was part of the licensing. Yeah. You know, that was another cool move by GM when they put out the Z28, or the Z06. The Z28 also only standard, right? They don't have a double clutch. No manual. The new Z28 is actually...

Think about that. The Viper, GT500, the Corvette Z06, and the Corvette ZR1, all only manual. At least they held onto that. Yeah, hats off to that. So the new Z28, I'm not a Camaro guy. I didn't grow up with any

Camaros or anything. We didn't have them, but the new Z28, people should check out if they're into fun sort of track cars, because even guys that have GT3s now that can't drive them, the new one, nobody can drive those. Porsche's called them and said to all 756 of the ones delivered, park your car. We're coming to get it.

We're going to replace your engine. There's a problem. A lot of those guys, dude, it's gotten worse. A lot of those guys are basically going and buying Z28s. So they gave their car back? Yeah. The Z28s, Harris just got one in the UK and drove it. Did he really?

Yeah. I flew all the way to New York to drive it from LA, and it was raining at the track, and they wouldn't let me drive it. I had flown across the country, and they go, nope. And I go, like, you know, come on. And they said it was worthless in the wet. But you know what they... Really?

Yeah. You know what people have said, though, that have driven it? Your car is fucking worthless in the wet, too. Well, no, but they immediately... Because a new GT3 is basically PDK, and then they go back into a Z28 and they're just having fun because it's manual. With a manual transmission. Yeah, it's better. Like you said, wake up, it's more fun.

We're not going to be driving soon. You're not going to be allowed to do anything. You'll just be sitting in there reading your newspaper. That was that episode of Jeremy Clarkson when he was driving the Z06 or when he was driving the ZR1. Yeah, yeah. Everybody was, are you listening, Ferrari? You know, like just a regular manual transmission. Why don't you make one of those?

A Ferrari with a manual gearbox is so fun. It's so dark that they're canceling all that stuff. It's the customer's fault. When they started offering paddles instead of a stick, the take rate was like 95%. You know what I think it is, man? It's another example of the shitheads taking over the earth. It's like these rich people, all of them have terrible taste. It's like, what's going on here?

It's the people that are becoming really rich. LA's the fucking worst, man. Everyone puts rims on their shit. You buy a fucking $300,000 Ferrari and they put fucking rims on it? Yeah. Some of those rims are so gross, too, like the 22-inch rims. It is. Where they're like wagon wheels and shit.

Fucking West Coast Customs and Platinum Motorsport garbage. You obviously haven't visited Oakland then, have you? I've been visited Oakland, sure. So that's where you get some really good rides. Remember Spinners? Really good weeks. Oh, dude. Floaters, dude.

Did you ever have Spinners? I didn't have them, but no. But I lived in New York, right? And Latrell Sprewell lived right up the street from my parents. And remember back in the day, the Spinners, Sprewell bought the company that made those, and they were called Sprewells for like 10 years. Nice. Remember everyone used to call Spinners Sprewells back in the day?

No, that was probably only in your neighborhood. It's probably because I was in New York, and Sprewell played for the fucking Knicks. You were probably video gaming then anyway. Yeah, Spinners was crazy. I remember I just never heard that, calling them that. I just heard Spinners. And there was the opposite.

There was Stayers. No, the Floaters. Remember the Floaters? Well, Floaters, I think I just heard spinners. And there was the opposite. There was stayers. No, the floaters. Remember the floaters? Well, floaters, I think I called them stayers. You called them stayers? They were the opposite because the car would drive, but the rim would stay. Yeah, yeah, I remember that. Those were pretty cool, right?

Yeah, people gave up on that shit quick. Yeah, high-maintenance rims. Yeah. Well, it's also like any time you hit a pothole, do ya, there was no padding. You would blow out tires left and right. I don't know, man. But in Porsche's defense, the other reason they went to PDK and got rid of the six-speed was a lot of people can't drive the car properly. And what happens is when you take the control away from people and the ability to do something wrong, like misshift or money shift, as you call it, and blow up your engine.

And then somebody goes back with their car and says, says oh i want you to warranty it and fix it and they're like let's nerf the world alex ross sorry but people can't handle it let's nerf the world they can't get a manual transmission my grandfather drove a fucking three on the column they used to have some crazy gearboxes back in the day. Three on the tree. No, like, I just read a manual of how to drive a Model T. There's nothing like what you think it would be. What was it like? There's, like, there's a pedal, but it's just...

Yeah, you're just going. You put it in gear, and there's no... It has a roller thing, right? You just go. Okay, so it's one gear. It's two gears. Two gears. Yeah.

Does it shift itself, or do you shift it? No, no, no. Oh, no. Now, is there a clutch? Yes, there's one gear. It's two gears. Two gears. Yeah. Does it shift itself, or do you shift it? No, no. Oh, no. Now, is there a clutch? Yes, there's a clutch. But there's also, like, you have to adjust the spark advance and, like, the ignition timing. While you're driving? Oh, yeah.

Whoa. Oh, yeah. There's all kinds of stuff going on. Okay, okay. Like, how many different various functions that don't exist? Oh, there's a chart that is, like... This is it right here? Yeah, there's a chart that is like... This is it right here?

Yeah, where's the chart? Keeps going. This is the instructions of how to drive a Model T, but there's a chart that shows all the different positions of the spark advance levers. Keep going. Oh, my God. And it's a huge undertaking to drive a Model T. Wow.

So pretty much it would have been easier to fly a plane instead of this. I don't know where the chart is. There's so many diagrams and shit. Look up a Model T Spark Advanced chart or something. It's crazy the amount of things

that people had to do to drive a car. Just to get a car to fucking move. That's so crazy. So how many different things? You're saying adjust the what? So they had like a centrifugal type clutch. So there was no accelerator pedal.

There it is. Look, these are all the different. So there's two levers. And these are all the different possible positions. And there are nine possible combinations of positions for depending on how fast you want to go. So that lever on the right, I believe, is actually your throttle. There's no gas pedal.

That lever is your throttle. So you just set that, and it's like cruise control all the time. And then you have high gear and low gear. It's like a crank start. Yeah, see, the left lever is spark advance. Look at this. For a speed of 10 miles per hour on high gear, leave spark advance 5 notches.

Open gas 2 or 3 notches. Holy shit. So that's what you do to maintain 10 miles an hour. You know how many people complain when this went away? Well, you don't even adjust your spark and your gas. I don't even feel like I'm driving a car anymore. That's exactly what it is. I don't even feel like I'm driving a car anymore. That's exactly what it is.

I don't even start my engine with a flint. You kids and your key ignitions. They're out there with a fucking rock and a file trying to start the car. Tink, tink, tink. You ever see Leno and his steam cars? You gotta light a boiler 45 minutes before you go. Does he really? Yeah.

Oh my god, that's insane. He has to heat up like a fucking keg of water. Leno has probably the dopest individual garage ever. He's got like a warehouse filled with... A warehouse? Like seven, you mean? Seven warehouses? It's two airplane hangers. Imagine if we found out that Leno was just selling coke the entire time.

How else is he getting this money? I mean, this is too much money. It doesn't even make sense. He says that he doesn't spend his Tonight Show money. He only spends his stand-up money. Yeah, which is insane. So he's just sitting on stockpiles of Tonight Show cash, too. Unbelievable cash.

Crazy. I can't even imagine how much money is that's the case, because he was the host of the Tonight Show for, what, decades? I mean, his car collection is $100 million. Well, just, yeah. $100 million? $100 million is what his car collection's worth. And he also has, like, 220 bikes, too. Ralph Lauren's car collection is worth $500 million

if you want to feel really sick. What? Yeah. How's that possible? Ralph Lauren has 65 cars worth $500 million. Do the math on that shit. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life. It's an average value of like 8-something million. Are those all those old dog shit Mercedes Benz

that are worth a million dollars each? He has one of every Ferrari that won Le Mans for like 10 fucking million. Oh, he's one of those assholes. Those cars are old as fuck and almost useless. That's what I think. He does drive them all though. $7 million for Steve McQueen's car. Well, you're a fucking idiot because Steve wouldn't drive it if he was alive today.

Okay, if he's alive today, he'd go to Shark Works, get himself a fucking real car. You think Steve McQueen would have one of those dog shit old James Dean killing fucking shit boxes? Yeah, because that's all that was available back then. Duh! If Steve McQueen was alive today, he'd be driving a fucking Cayenne. Look at those tires, man. Look at those tires. He'd be driving a Panamera Turbo on rims.

He'd be in a Patamera Turbo with 26 inches. He'd have spinners. Color-coded to match the car's interior. They spinnin'. Yeah, he'd be fuckin'... Would Steve McQueen have gone for the painted key option? He would have gone for the matte black. Oh, these are Ralph's cars.

Look at that. So that's $50 million. Oh, what? That is a Bugatti. I'd give you $10 for it, then I Oh, these are Ralph's cars. Look at that. So that's $50 million. I'd give you $10 for it, then I'd sell it for $20 and be done with it. There's three of those in the world. Well, let's blow it up and make it two. It's like a goddamn dodo bird. What's that thing doing around?

If I found a dodo bird today, if there was only one left, I'd hit it with a fucking rock. You wouldn't drop $50 million on that? Just re-extinct that bitch. There was a dodo bird. It fucking, this is the last remaining. I'd choke it to death in the bathroom. And then I would make a story up.

Try and flush it down the toilet. I'd just drown that fucker. See each of those in that green there. Bottom right, McLaren F1. That's my favorite. Those cars are insane. And McLaren has a new insane car that's like $1. something million. P1.

Yeah, so they have the regular. I found out about this because I was telling people that the McLaren that's the more common one, it doesn't sound very good. MP412C. Well, it's a turbocharged car. Yeah. So those turbos, they block a lot of the sound. They act like mufflers. So naturally aspirated cars are always going to be more loud.

I was telling someone, he goes, what are you talking about? He sends me this video. This thing sounds amazing. I was like, that is not the same fucking car. Turns out it's a car that's 10 times more expensive. Oh, is it a McLaren F1? It was the new one. Yeah, the P1.

And the P1 shoots fire, fire. Like, on gas fire. It's so good that Chris Harris said it's a step up above the Porsche 918, which is like the greatest car the world has ever known, up until a week ago. Harris said that the 918 is amazing, but the P1 is like an alien just dropped a car on Earth, and this is it, you know what I mean? I can't imagine. Yeah, I wasn't overly impressed with that 918. like an alien just dropped a car on earth and this is it you know what i mean i can't yeah i

wasn't overly impressed with that 918 i mean as far as technology it looks and does all that stuff really well but honestly i go back to the manual thing i've driven cgts and that's what i would take that thing is amazing that thing is connected you know what i think i think that automotive technology has reached a sufficient limit with what is existing today, where we can have these wacky fucking future million-dollar cars for Russian oligarchs. You can have these nutty cars that you and I will never be able to afford. But really, there needs to be some sort of a balance between the GTR-type supercomputer, there needs to be some sort of a balance between the GTR-type supercomputer,

unbelievably cool cars, and a visceral car, like a car that you feel the engine, like a GT3-type experience, or something more raw. Because if they just keep over-engineering to the point where you're just going to completely lose the pleasure from driving. Lap times, take it. And the problem is, a lot of the time, the limiting factor is to the tires and the driver. But don't you think that the way technology has reached... You take the driver out of the equation, right?

You take the driver out of the equation if the shifting is done for you. That's what I'm saying. Well, you take some of it. But what I'm trying to say is I think that where the technology has reached right now, they can make amazing, super- cars that just five, ten years ago would be Ferrari supercar level. Yeah, right. And they can make them where you feel everything.

Yeah. You know, they can have incredible performance that's thrilling, braking that's fantastic, handling that's spectacular, but make it so you can feel it. Yeah, it's not going to be as fast around a track as a fucking GTR from 2015. But it's probably going to be more than fast enough for enough for you like what the fuck are you doing exactly arguing on the internet you're arguing like going that's going to the NSX you know when you were driving that right I mean it didn't it didn't even have 300 horsepower but it you know it had a good amount of power and then you're thinking like now

you're driving you know in GT threes that have over 500 power and then you're thinking like now you're driving you know in gt3s that have over 500 horsepower and then there's you know yeah like 991 turbo s's that have you know even more than that well that was what chris chris harris had done with that little rally car that he had made he had taken a car and made it really really light it was only 2 000 pounds yeah and he put a 320 plus horsepower engine in it that's a a rocket. Oh, my goodness. Well, we also, you know, you talk about, if you want something that's raw, we have shit on the other end of the spectrum, too. You've got stuff like the Ariel Atom. You've got the Morgan three-wheeler, which are hilarious fun.

Lotus and stuff with the Elise XC. Yeah, but you know what, man? I tried one of those. The Lotus? Yeah. I drove... They're fucking shitboxes. I was like, this is a little beer can with fucking wheels attached to it. You don't want to drive one in LA.

Nobody with money wants one. Yeah, why is that? Because they don't feel expensive. They feel fucking cheap. Light is great, but most people don't want to pay extra for it. Like, we just had a Viper, right? You know, Viper is the kind of thing that don't want to pay extra for it like we just had a viper right we had you know viper is the kind of thing that i would would want to be driving right because it's fucking loud it's got a huge motor it's it's stick you know and it's and there's a lot of

technology in there carbon fiber and it's got a ton of horsepower and stuff but they charge you for it whereas so the viper was like 140 000 whereas the the carrera s the new one when they charge you that much money you've got like a porsche feels more technologically advanced you know what i mean yeah but porsche's got it right when uh what they do is they do this reverse thing where it's like, I don't want to have a radio. Oh, they charge you more. Yeah, I don't want to have a sunroof. I don't want to have this. And they're like, no problem.

There's more money. Yeah, yeah. They do charge you more for less. But we've got some really lightweight, crazy, pure stuff that you can buy that you would never be able to buy years ago. Like what? Ariel Atom. Have you seen the BAC Mono? Yeah, that thing's sick.

It looks like a 401 car you can drive on the street. Really? What's it called? The BAC Mono? Yeah, that thing's sick. It looks like a 401 car you can drive on the street. Really? What's it called? The BAC Mono. Pull that shit up, Jamie. Yeah. It's really nutty. It looks like an insect.

The Ariel Adam is a ridiculous car. Yeah. There's a lot of ways to die in one of them things. It seems like it. Yeah, there are. It seems like any time you're wearing a helmet and you're in a car, wait, wait, wait, wait, what's with the helmet, man? What are you doing?

You're on the street and you're wearing a helmet? No, you take shit to the fucking face. Look at that thing. That's the BAC Mono. That is so ridiculous. It's a single-seater. Oh, my God. Which I think is kind of stupid because you spend all this money on this car.

You can't give anyone a fucking ride. Yeah, but that's good. That way you can't give anyone a ride. And get sued, yeah. There's a pro and a con. I'm a glass half-full kind of a guy. I see that and I go, I see no one mooch anyone a ride. And get sued, yeah. There's a pro and a con. I'm a glass half full kind of a guy. I see that and I go, I see no one wooching a ride off of me. Plus, there's no room for bottles and fucking wrappers to accumulate.

It's like you've got to keep that bitch clean. You're forced to. You're not going to sit on your own garbage. You're not going to go through fast food lanes. You're not going to listen to the radio. You're no radio bitch. Imagine a hoarder. You're not going to listen to the radio. You're no radio bitch. Imagine a hoarder with a mono. And it's like there's nowhere to put it.

But there's just trashed newspapers. That car looks so ridiculous. Pull that picture up again, Jimmy. It looks unbelievable. I can imagine. This is a street legal car in America? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anybody could just go out, buy one of these,

and you could just see them driving down to Palo Alto. I see the guy who has one of these. I see him in the canyons on some days. No way. And what does one of those go for? I think it's around a hundred grand. That's it? No, I think it's quite a bit more. Now, how quick would you die if you got hit in one of those things?

Very, very quick. Is there any protection at all, or does it kill you just to give you mercy? Well, it's a carbon monocoque, right? Instead of having airbags, it has spikes that come out of the dashboard and shoot right through your fucking brain. I think it is don't hold Yeah, can you enlarge that picture forbidden forbidden it's forbidden There's nothing there. Yeah, it's a it's a tube frame. Yeah, you die very very quickly if you were in a baby you bitch I mean, bro. Walk away from that like nothing. I got a different set of rules.

You're immortal, obviously. I just know how to get away. I roll with punches. I've been around the block, bro. I grew up in New York. You know those fucking guys? Pretend like, listen, don't worry about me. I grew up in New York.

Do you have a different nose structure? They're from Bedford. You're going to hit your face with a pipe, you're going to feel the same shit as a guy from Cleveland, you fuckhead. What the fuck are you saying? Ariel, Adam, put your helmet on. Put your fucking superhero outfit on. If you don't have

an actual death wish, is that like someone's grandma sitting in that car? Oh, it's a kid. There's stuff. Is that a baby in that lady's arm? it's a kid. No, no, no. There's stuff. Is that a baby in that lady's arm? It's a dog. It's a dog.

Oh, Christ. There's a car called the Noble. That's what kind of an asshole drives a car like that. The kind of guy who's dating a chick who

brings a fucking dog everywhere. Have you seen a Noble before? Yes. They're cool. The Noble M600. They're not built so

well either. They're not? They're like a kit car. Yeah, it's very kit car-ish. It's sort of worse than the Lotus. They try really hard. Isn't that one of those things where you bring it somewhere and they have to put the engine in? Yeah, kind of. How's that work?

Like, you buy the car. You buy the chassis. You buy the engine. Do you buy the engine from them, too? Yeah. Couldn't you be like, listen, bitch, I'll say I did it, but can't you do it? They have a guy here. As long as they do it in this country.

You don't do it. No. Like they said they ship it into the U.S. separately and then do what they would call a final assembly. No, but that's to get away from something, right? What is it to get away from? It's to get around airbag standards. So they don't have airbags? No.

What the fuck kind of car piece of shit is that? You want a fucking lightweight car or not, bitch? This guy just got done telling me that airbags saved his life. Yeah, they did actually. You want a raw? So buy a fucking Porsche if you want just got done telling me that airbags saved his life. Yeah, they did, actually. You want a raw? So buy a fucking Porsche if you want airbags. Is that the rawest thing? Yeah, yeah.

And that's the Noble M600, yeah. That doesn't have any airbags? No. Hmm. Or it might have first generation. It doesn't have smart airbags. But you saw, you know, like on Top Gear, I mean, they test stuff. Obviously, they test stuff the way they do.

But you saw that thing didn't even last the test. They had to, like, did you see that episode? Yeah, it broke on top gear. That's not good. Well, a lot of cars break on top gear. No, but not like that. The Zenvo was... Oh, that was crazy.

They implied that the Tesla Roadster ran out of battery. It didn't actually run out of battery. It had some kind of issue like with... I don't know, maybe the brakes. It had some kind of issue, like with the brakes, it had some kind of issue. Well, they were tracking it. So they had to push it. So they got, someone got, get a shot of them pushing it. They got a shot of them pushing it, and then they did a voiceover implying that it had run out of battery, when

actually it was being pushed for a completely unrelated reason. How douchey. The judge sided with Top Gear, actually. Really? Yeah, the judge sided with Top Gear. As creative license, just to make a funny show? As they said that it wasn't slanderous because it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility.

The Zenvo guys actually ended up suing them, though. Well, their car caught on fire. Their supercar caught on fire on Top Gear, and that was the replacement car for the replacement. So it didn't go down too well. So wait a minute. They had a car that caught on fire or it broke? So it was a car from Holland.

First one broke, and then the second one caught on fire? And they blamed top gear? Well, they said that they sued him for libel, because they were basically saying... They shot all over the car! Why did you not? They should. It's a piece of shit it's a silly lawsuit

he sent me a car and one of them breaks the other one catches on fire that's not a good way to go well then they eventually got it working and it had to do a lap around the track and they do the laps but it was wet and this car's got a thousand horsepower so it was slower than like a Ford

yeah it was sliding all over the place you know what it was like slower than like a ford yeah it didn't look sliding all over the place you know what it was it's just i think and you know we probably could be guilty of doing this too but when you work on something for you know two three years you're in your own cave and you just forget what the rest of the world is really like and you just start believing your own crap you know sir certainly people are no one's perfect that can definitely happen Definitely a piece of shit. I just think I listen to you my friend. It is a fucking you know you were one of the main St1 yeah, one of the main reasons that I stopped that process of building that old Yeah, I tell you what you would talking to me about it

Yeah, you were you were saying don't kill yourself and get a 73 and then was like, well, everybody says that you drive one of those things and it's just incredible. He's like, meh, not really. It's like, people like to say that, but not really. It's kind of cool for a while, but you're going to get tired of it. This is the car, the Zenvo that caught on fire. That looks pretty badass, though. It kind of does.

That looks like what an NSX from 2015 should look like. Yep. It's a good looking car, to their credit. NSX, make a car like. It's a good-looking car, to their credit. NSX, make a car like that and put a fucking stick shift in it, bitch. If they could just do that, if they made the new NSX, but it's going to be four-wheel drive, too. Yeah, which is so anti-NSX. It's crazy.

It's just a badge at this point. Someone would make a really minimalist car. Just cut out all fucking, no navigation, no radio. But from a real manufacturer that builds real things. No radio, no nav. That's what the GT3 RS is, kind of. It has AC, although you can order it without

if you want to be that stupid. It certainly is. Well, actually, does anyone get the cars without AC? There were a couple of people. I'm not going to name names. People who smell their own farts. I'm not going to name names. I'm not going to name names. It wasn't me. People who smell their own farts.

It wasn't me. People who want everybody to smell them. I need a reason. Come on, in California? They're a stinky fetish. So, Persians. Oh, that was Matt Ferris' voice, not Joe Rogan's or Alex Ross. No, no, no.

Down the river, sail! I love all people. Everyone. Did I just dive onto the Persian buses? I would have. They're not going to care. There are. Which way are you driving today?

They're comfortable, friendly, very, very successful people. You know what? They can just go back to their Mercedes with gold badges. Who's more successful in America than Persians? Hey, do you play pool, dude? Because you're going the way I'm going with this, man. Who's more successful in America? What?

Persians are super successful. They are. They're good negotiators. Are they? They try. They fucking try. Some folks love that. They love to barter.

Oh, my God. I'm not really a barterer. I'm not into that shit at all. Fuck it. Just stop. Pay your full price. Fucking fair price. Can we end this now?

Can we just get out of here sometime today? It cost me an extra $2. Oh, no. Well, how do you barter if there's a price on there already? How do end this now? Can we just get out of here sometime? You'll cost me an extra $2? Oh, no. How do you barter if there's a price on there already? How do you do that? Some people just do. You're telling them, hey, bro, this is no good, this price.

Come on, bro. I'll give you a better price. This fucking $2,000 for this TV, bro? This is not a $2,000 TV, bro. It's a good TV, bro. It's not $2,000. I know Samsung, okay? I know there's a dude who I went to school with. His uncle is Samsung, okay? I know there's a dude who I went to school with. His uncle is Samsung.

All right? I could call Sam right now and give me the fucking straight dope of the shitbox TV you got. This is last year's, bro. This is last year's. You're going to have to get rid of this soon, right? Come on, bro. This is your good guy's voice or Circuit City, right? Yeah, that's my Slavic hustler voice.

Hopefully we don't get to the point where you need that one. It's possible. I feel like you could be like a Slavic guy in a Guy Ritchie movie. I would love that. I would love that. I'd be so happy. You know that guy Nick? There's a guy named Nick Moran who's in Logstock.

He plays Nick. And I happened to find myself at a bar, and I sat down next to this guy. Holy shit, anyone ever tell you the guy from fucking Lockstock? And it was him. That's hilarious. That was a great fucking movie. That was great, dude. Whatever.

No big deal. You took a chance. What are the odds? I was the only guy right there at that bar that asked him if he was the guy from Lockstock. What are the odds, lad? What are the odds? Nothing wrong with asking that question. That guy, Guy Ritchie, had some fucking banging movies, though. Yeah, fucking banging movies yeah he had a run what happened madonna madonna sucked his soul out of

his dick that's how she got younger in that relationship she lost about five years of age she pulled it right out of his cock all his creativity in the middle of the night she mount him like a fucking demon just like like little clawsinging, holding him in place. Fucking milking him. Sucking his fucking soul right out of his dick. He'll recover, but it's going to take a few years. He'll come back with some new snatch, you know? Snatch 2, yeah.

We'll call it Snatch 2. The poster's just Madonna's face. Yeah, just Madonna bending over to pick up her toothbrush. Snatch, too. Who's dead? Who died in Snatch? The old diamond guy, right? Isn't he dead? Yeah.

No, wait, which fuck? The old Jewish diamond guy? Yeah, yeah. He died. Dennis Farina? Yeah, Dennis Farina. Who's fucking awesome. Yeah, don't go to London.

He died in real life, too, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think he lived in the movie and died in real life. That guy was great. He was Cousin Abby. No, Cousin Abby was the other guy, the English guy. What a great fucking movie that was.

Lockstock was great and Snatch was great. Both of them were fucking great. I liked Lockstock better, though. That was the original. And actually what they said was Snatch was sort of watered down. It was like the rehash of it so that you guys didn't need subtitles well he had enough it's always this you guys shit again you guys my country brings you in we're trying to do subtitles we let you under our nuclear umbrella what do you do you shit all over us you talk shit about our pool

playing abilities how we like to brag on what we can do and it's never really true We're too stupid to understand the German cars. They give us a watered-down version. What the fuck bro? What the fuck? I got two words for you Toby Keith. Okay? Toby fucking Keith. That's what America makes Should've been a cowboy Yeah I admitted You see the 9-11 song guy too? Yeah

Dude I admitted the uh Yeah no I11 song guy too. Yeah, dude. I admitted the The look in your face what you were saying, yeah Perfect look and a perfect yuck. Was that the guy with the 9-11 song? Yuck. That was funny. What would you do? Oh, no.

I'll tell you what I wouldn't do. I wouldn't make that fucking song. You need some better friends. You need some friends that listen to that shit and go, man, Toby, you might want to try from the beginning. Start all over again with this one. You ever think the reason you're not a famous musician is because if you came up

with half the shit on the radio, you'd go, no, this is terrible and just throw it away and never play it again? No,

I'm not a famous musician because I have no musical talent whatsoever. You guys could teach us wrestling. That's what you could do. You guys could teach us wrestling.

Oh, yeah. You guys. Americans, man. Americans. You guys are good at that. Very good at that. Well,

you know what? I don't believe in you guys. First of what? I don't believe in you guys. First of all, I don't believe in you guys in this fucking country, because this country is basically a colony of people who came from somewhere else. The idea that we're all the same, but we came from somewhere else is pretty fucking stupid and kind of, you know, it doesn't work that way. Yeah, but all Australians are criminals. The immigrant people.

They're not anymore. The immigration people refused to believe that they were immigrants at one point. Yeah. It's a great one. It's hilarious. The whole country full of immigrants won't let an immigrant. We've had enough. We've decided.

This is it. The doors are closed. The sale is over. There was a great commentary on immigration. This dude was a Canadian illegal immigrant and like lived in Arizona for like four years. No one gets questioned. Oh, give a fuck. Nobody questions him ever.

You can tell everybody. Yeah, I don't even have my green card. They're like, okay, you want me to pay in cash? No one gives a fuck. The gardeners are getting picked off fucking one by one by INS though. Yeah, it's really a racist thing. It's fucking hard to get into this country and get papers. Yeah.

It's hard to immigrate to America. Dude, I had to take the test. Let me tell you. And you're white as fuck. I had to take the test. Let me tell you. And you're white as fuck. How was the test? How did it go for you? What was your score? I studied history.

It was a perfect score. And you know what else? There was this series on HBO at the time. Don't brag, bro. No, dude, dude. I'm just telling you. I'm telling you. I'm just telling you.

Okay, so you guys make good TV. It was on, what was it? Again with this you guys shit. Dude, it was John Adams, right? Remember that? Yeah, John Adams. You know John Adams. Yeah, yeah. It was on HBO at the what was it? Again with this you guys shit! Dude, it was John Adams, right? Remember that? Yeah, John Adams. You know John Adams. Yeah, yeah. It was on HBO at the time. It really helped me with my test. Paul Giamatti, John Adams, right? Yeah, yeah. That one, that one. Yeah, yeah. It was good. It was good shit.

Right. Okay. You didn't eat, well, it was on HBO. You guys. You guys are fucking, we do make good fucking TV, though. You do. You do. We make good car shows. What does this country look like from afar? When you're trying to talk about not the visual look, but when you're talking about

how crazy this country is. As someone who grew up in Britain, when you come over here and you see when you're looking at America from Britain, what is your impression of it? Does it seem as ridiculous as it does once you're here? Or does it seem more ridiculous because you're over there in England?

So I'll tell you the honest, honest truth. I went to pretty much the best school in England. The princes and the royal family go there. Out there too. Westminster. Remember I said 1060. It was built in 1066. Someone is posh.

I just dropped Eaton, son. Dude, I just took the plums out of my mouth as soon as I came here because nobody understood the damn thing I said. I couldn't even order McDonald's here.

Because you were too posh. Pretty much, yeah. They don't know what a Royale with cheese is on this side of the pond. No, that's a different country. That's France, bro. That's Europe.

That's your neighbor or something. That's Europe. It's like a stone throw away. the honest truth, that, you know, look, you know, small little island, you know,

you come over here and you really can do all this crazy shit here that I could never have done. Like this tuning stuff with Porsches or overclocking PCs, being a dot-com person, you know, internet celebrity. I could never have done that in England. You know why? Because we're just behind there and everyone's like, no. Is that still the case though? Dude, you just get pigeonholed and you have to have parents or friends or know somebody. I mean, I literally met some really cool people, and I just said, hey, let's just start fucking around with Porsches. You mean once you came to America?

Yeah. What I was trying to get at was, what's the opinion of America when you're living over in England? America when you're living over in England does it look like when you see people were invading Afghanistan fucking blowing up Iraq and Missiles into Pakistan from robots that fly in the sky Stuff didn't bug us at all What really fucking pissed us off serious, okay is when you come into our pubs with your shitty rain jackets, you know, talking all American. Is this we again? Yeah, yeah.

What the fuck? Matt Farah. We didn't do nothing. I don't own a single North Face item. I know nothing. No North Face, no Patagonia. Over here with his bullshit. None of that shit. Yeah, so, you know, don't be surprised when, you know, you get beaten up.

I wear only barber when I'm in the UK. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Don't be surprised when you get beaten up. I'm always surprised when you get beaten up. I wear Old Man Barber when I'm in the UK. Wait a minute. Don't be surprised when you get beaten up. I'm always surprised when I get beaten up. You're getting beaten up so often that you're not surprised. I'd be like, God damn, man. You've got to fucking go to different places. You've got to talk to people nicer.

You're just fucking getting beaten up left and right. It's not surprising. You're fucking making some critical errors basically everywhere you go. I'm fucking constantly shocked when I'm beaten up left and right. It's not surprising. You're fucking making some critical errors basically everywhere you go. I'm fucking constantly shocked when I'm beaten up. Every time it's ever happened, I've been like, what the fuck did I do that led to this? Let's break this all down and never repeat this problem again.

He's like, well, they were wearing the wrong jacket, so we had a cone of them. We beat them up for the queen. Hey, mate, you got the wrong colors on! It's like the North Face Inquisition. And you was born on the wrong patch of dirt! We signed the Patagonia Charter in 2014. Knuckle sandwich coming your way, mate!

It's like V for Vendetta against all-weather gear. Okay, you know what? We do like you guys- Oh, what are you afraid of? A little water, mate? Afraid of getting your neck wet? weather gear okay you know what we do you know what movie you need to see is sexy beast that's what you need to know what the fuck I've seen you said telling me what movie I need to see twice you people don't see sex yeah you people don't even know how to make a good proper movie. I'll tell you something else. You can't hear Jimmy. I can't hear Jimmy Saville.

What was up with that? How did you guys let that guy bang all those kids? That guy was a freaking creep. I don't know. Is that our Jerry Sandusky? Yeah, he's way worse. What it is, when you work for the BBC, like I said, you work for the BBC that long, he was just like a piece of furniture and nobody would say anything or do anything.

Actually, I don't know how you could say way worse, because everybody would say Andusky. No, dude. Probably, it was probably you. No, no. No matter how many people they molested. Well, he's, okay, he's way worse. I mean, he was basically dealing with handicapped kids. Yeah.

You know, that's like kids that were, you know, six to ten years old. And was he a newscaster or something? No, he was like, you know like a Make Your Wish foundation over here. That's him? Yeah, dude. Fuck off. I can tell you with one picture that guy touches kids. That's him when he was young.

If you look at him later on, maybe when he got all his white hair. That was the creepiest looking guy I've seen in a while. You know what else is a good Guy Ritchie movie? There you go. There you go. That's more like it. That's how I remember him. Growing up, watching TV, I remember him.

So he would make your wish come true. So if you wanted to meet an athlete or you wanted to meet a race car driver, you would write him a letter. You'd say, dear Jimmy, I'm a poor kid in Middlesbrough, which is a place in England. And I always wanted to meet James Hunt. Okay? He would make that happen. Right. He's like, Jim will fix it.

That was his letter. Jim will fix it. Yeah, Jim will fix it. Yeah, Jim will fix it. We had Louis Theroux on the podcast, the documentarian from England. Fantastic guy. Have you ever seen his documentaries? No.

Or maybe I have. I don't think so. He followed that guy. He hung out with that guy for days and interviewed him several, several times and then got to the point of relationships and girlfriends. And, you know, it was really creepy because he was basically saying, like, one? A single one? Like, no, never.

You know? Never. Never had a girlfriend. How do you say it with a straight? Have friends that are girls, you know? Yeah. I mean, and he was just sort of skirting around the issue and he's sitting there with a cigar. Yeah, he always smoked cigars.

That's right. His legs crossed in that strange praying mantis position that older dudes that have had a lot of atrophy of their thigh muscles feel super comfortable bending their legs in that way. And he's there with his little foot dangling, and he's talking about he's never had one girl. And just counting down the minutes until you can touch another kid. Just sweat. You know how you get meat sweats after you like He's getting meat sweats thinking about kids just waiting for fucking he's got a million kids Leaves the door like blows open away sends one giant mass text to every kid in his phone

What was weird though like at the time you would see him, right? You would see him. He would get all physical with the kids and stuff. You would see him hugging them, and nobody raised a question or an eyebrow. He used to put them on his lap. Yeah, on his lap and everything. You people are fucked up. I agree. That was messed up. What happened was the guy had become, according to Louis Theroux,

the guy had become a huge celebrity and was almost untouchable because he was so loved, and he had all these charitable organizations. And that's the same way Sandusky hid his pedophilia was through charitable organizations. And they would do charities for kids that didn't have families, kids who were injured, kids who were sick. Kids who had no one to talk to. Michael Jackson was the same thing. Michael Jackson would work with a lot of kids that had terminal illnesses, which is the darkest shit ever.

Because you know that he was praying those kids didn't recover. You know. Wow, when you say it that way, it's fucked. In the back of his head, he was like, please die. Please die with your secrets. Billy doesn't want to talk to you right now. But he's talking crazy. He's talking about werewolves, fairies. I think he's just making shit up.

Go ahead, talk to him. He must be at the end. He's not luc werewolves, fairies. I think he's just making shit up. Go ahead, talk to him. He must be at the end. He's not lucid. I don't know. He's making things up, and I don't understand. I was in the room with him the whole time. There was no fairies. Yeah.

Well, okay, so it's not a good idea to have, you know, your teenage kid hang around with a grown dude, basically. No. Well, it depends on the grown dude. I dude I mean look there's a lot of guys it's a grown dude who doesn't like to cut touch kids dicks exactly that's a good filter yeah, I mean look right there work backwards when I was a 19 or 20 I used to take my buddy's brother who was like 13 fishing I never fucked him once no, but you were only 19. I'm talking about 13 fishing. I never fucked him once. No, but you were only 19.

I'm talking about like a 70 year old. He's a fucking good kid and he likes to fish and I do too. And you just left him hanging like that? Just because I was way older than him. I was 7 or 8 years older than him. We went fishing together. I brought him home. We had a great time. Nobody got touched. You can

have a little friend. I know how hard that is to avoid. It wasn't hard. It was very easy. Not fishing for sharks, right? I don't have those instincts anymore. Not fishing for sharks. Yeah. Not fishing for sharks? No, we were freshwater fishing. Because I told you what happened. With guns, harpoons, I would use everything possible

to fish for sharks. Those fins do not make your wang bigger. I'm not talking about fins. I'm talking about killing sharks. See, listen, you've got a thing for sharks, dude. We need to talk about this on the podcast. Just because your nickname is Sharky, okay? What if your nickname was Cocky? Would you be running around trying to save dicks?

Stop circumcision? Cockworks? Cockworks? He's standing there. Best Porsche mechanic in the world. Standing there. No jobs. Looking on the street left and right. Maybe we need to change our phone number. 1-800-COP-WORK.

Cars like faster than Formula One cars, but it's got badges all over it. It's got your dick. Nobody wants it. You know how bad the Porsche GT3 RS logos are, the little stickers all over the bars? Oh, those are terrible. His would be even worse. It would be just jizz. Just veiny.

Just big dicks. Big dicks and spoofs. Big orange dicks. And the spoofs would be going forward, which doesn't even make any sense. The car's driving forward. The spoofs should be maybe going backwards like an exhaust to jet the car into the proper direction. I'm going to get you a 118 scale GT3 and hand paint fucking cogworks all over it. Yes.

Yes. We want that. Listen, sharks suck, okay? I know they're necessary. And when I say this, so many people would, you're so fucking ignorant and close my I'll get these Tweets you need to relax first of all. I don't believe a fucking thing. I'm saying right now I'm not in that court. I'm not giving an affidavit I'm not teaching the children this is I'm saying fuck sharks And I'm saying if I had a grenade and it was attached to a spear

I'd stuff it right into a shark's dick and blow him right out of the water, just in the chance that maybe he could bite somebody that I love. How about that? Not really. It's cold as ice, man. Not really. How about that? Not really.

It's cold as ice. That's how I roll. When it comes to the ocean, the ocean can all suck my dick. This is what I want to do with the ocean. I want to take parts of it and net it in and then throw in shit that can grow that I can eat later and just keep it trapped. And then when I want i scoop it up with nets that's all i care about fish i give zero fucks about fish every fish that's ever lived can go fuck its mother all right i don't care what fish touched you nothing nothing i'm on team people i'm not in fish did a grouper put his

mouth this is all i have to say if you're a okay, and you have a pet fish and it dies and you cry, you're a fucking silly bitch. That fish didn't know you were alive. It doesn't give a fuck about you. If you drop dead in front of it, it couldn't care less. It couldn't possibly care less. But you're like, oh, no, it was my favorite fish. What five-year-olds are tweeting at you about their fish? No one, but I'm just anticipating.

I've never even had a goldfish. I had a huge tank filled with piranhas. Yeah? How'd that end? It was pretty dope. I got rid of them. I heard it was illegal, and I said, I just won't stand for this any longer. Did you throw shit in the tank and watch it fucking get shredded?

Yes. Were they red belly piranhas? Red belly or the black ones? Which ones? Well, I had two different kinds of piranhas. I had red belly piranhas and I had these other ones

that were like silver. I forget what they were called but they were different. They looked a little different but they were all ruthless. They were like larger? Did it ever get boring watching them shred shit?

No, they're boring when they're not shredding shit. When they're not shredding shit they're just murderous statues. They just sit there and they just look at you and wait. And then what you do

is you'd go to the store and get a bag of goldfish. That's what I would do. And I'd bring dudes over the house to watch feeding. Popcorn? Yeah.

I was young and single, man. I'd have my friends over and I'd be like, dude, dude, dude, tonight's feeding time. Come on over. And I would go get a giant bag of goldfish and unleash it. And at one point in time, I think, I don't know how dude, dude, dude, tonight's feeding time, come on over. And I would go get a giant bag of goldfish

and unleash it. And at one point in time, I think, I don't know how many piranhas I had, but it was more than one. And it was a fucking rampage. Have you seen piranhas mate? No. What I would do is I would not feed them. I would not feed them for like several days. Oh, like the bull type. You gotta

time it right, because if you time it wrong, they eat each other. Okay. They'll find the one who is the weakest, and then they eat them. You don't want to feed them every day, but you want to feed them, like, every few days. Okay. The key is, like, don't get them to worry about when their next meal comes. Just get it so that they're hungry.

Okay. And then you put the goldfish in, and you just watch nature. Do the whole water just turn red? No, no, no, no. They cut them in half. They swim and just, shoom, one bite, and then you'll see, like, the tail try to swim away by itself, no, no, no. They cut them in half. They swim and just one bite. And then you'll see the tail try to swim away by itself. And then the other one will take and swallow the tail in one bite. And they were just dissecting goldfish in midair. Just cutting them in half.

Yeah, and they don't touch each other at all, right? Oh, wrong. No? No? They would leave at the end of feeding with chunks missing from their faces. Really? Because they would bite each other's faces in the middle of these mad feedings. Maybe it was just yours.

Maybe it was just your ones. No, no, no. No? Really? Are there YouTube videos of this? Do people have tank cams and shit? I'm sure. I'm sure people have it.

That's the rest of my night. The whole key with watching a piranha feed was just getting it hungry. Because if I fed them every day, I found out that they wouldn't even feed right away. I'd pour the goldfish in there and they'd look at them like, later, I'm out. I had a fucking,

when I was a kid, I had a turtle, like a whatever turtle, and you'd feed it goldfish. Those are ruthless. Are they? Yeah. Mine was all right. Dude, turtles are more ruthless than piranhas.

They nip your little fingers and stuff. Well, this one, one goldfish that was a feeder fish, survived two fucking years. Lived with the turtle in the tank. Endless rounds of other fish, this one little tiny goldfish. They just were friends. It was like... So did your piranhas die or did you cry?

No, I got rid of the piranhas. You got rid of them? What do you do when you get rid of a piranha? I call the guy. What guy? This is a long time ago. Would you like to take over my piranha? This was decades ago and far past the... It was in another country probably. What guy? This was decades ago and far past the legal...

It was in another country, probably. LA River? Statue of limitations. Legal Zoom. What it is is with an animal like that, first of all, the number one responsibility is to make sure it doesn't get out somewhere. That's where assholes have released

these fucking things into other areas. That's why they're illegal. In Florida, like after Hurricane Andrew, all those pet stores that had pythons and all those other fish and stuff, that's all like infested all of Florida. You know, they like to blame it on that, but it's also just white trash. It's also Florida. Florida's the

worst fucking place on earth. It's not really America. I have been there and it wasn't. I wouldn't mind letting them leave. They want to. I know they want to. They can go. It's okay. They can get their shit together like any fucked up uncle. It's like, I hope he finds ayahuasca and gets into therapy and does MDMA

and fucking pulls himself out of the ashes like the phoenix he is. But the reality is a giant percentage of Florida is filled with fucking idiots. It's crazy. There's a lot of cool people in Florida. I have friends in Florida. Nothing wrong with Florida as a whole, but there's a lot of... My parents live in Florida.

My sister lives in Florida. Yeah, everyone goes to retire there, huh? Yeah, a lot of people love Florida. There's good spots in Florida. I love performing in Florida. People are fun. It's just, it's obviously not everybody, but there's a giant percentage of fucking idiots there,

and they have those pythons that just, well, he got too big for the house, so I figured I'd keep him out in the backyard, and I was going to be on the fence, but I came back, he was gone. What do you want me to do? Now you got a fucking 20-foot-long python out there eating horses and shit and climbing into stables and swallowing people.

I mean, these are murderous fucking heartless monsters from the depths of the swamps. Yeah, and the environment's perfect for them, right? So they grow and grow, and they've got nobody to... No natural predators. Yeah, they go bonkers there. Very dangerous. Will you introduce an animal? You'll meet the exterminators in Florida.

Oh, well, they have python exterminators. They even have contests, but the problem is they can't find them. They go out looking in the Everglades, and then they realize how big the fucking Everglades are. They've gone these python contests. Well, they do have this thing called camouflage, too, so they're they're good at that yeah but they're not even from that area you would think that their colors wouldn't be yeah i guess it's good enough it's good enough but i just think it's the everglades it's just so fucking dense yeah dude you're not finding shit and

they're eating everything they're very like three bodies out there you're not fine they eat alligators i know that's freaking crazy that's all you have to know there's a video of one eating a fucking alligator yeah a full video is the alligator put on a fight or is it like a sleep yeah i know no Alligators. I know. That's freaking crazy. That's all you have to know. There's a video of one eating a fucking alligator. Yeah. A full video. Is the alligator put in a fight or is it like a sleep? Yeah, I know. No, it's fucking fighting.

Yeah, but the problem is the more they fight, the more they constrict, right? Yeah, pythons, what they do is they grab ahold of you and then you're heaving and you're exhaling. Inhaling and exhaling. And when you exhale, bam, it clamps down on you. And then you try to breathe again and bam! It clamps down a little. And it just cuts all the air off. It just gave over that. And the way

it gets a hold of him, it's like, it's so ruthless and efficient. Peruvian necktie. Did it swallow the alligator whole? Here it is. Here's the pictures of it. There's a video of it, Jamie. See if you can find the video. It's incredible. It happened in Australia. These people watched it all happen. So I guess it was actually a crocodile. It was a python, because Australia doesn't have alligators, and crocodiles are even more

dangerous than crocodiles. Crocodiles are nasty. So that's how gangster pythons are. They're fucking crocodiles. What a fuck. When one eats a shark, that's when the world will fucking stop. Nah, dude. Yeah, well you know what's interesting though? Cats kill the snakes. Big cats always kill snakes. My cat killed a snake once. My little cat killed a fucking snake once.

It was badass. Yeah, they can kill snakes. They know exactly what to do. They go right for the back of the head. They're too fucking fast. Look at this shit. This is the battle. Oh, man.

So this python has wrapped around a goddamn crocodile. Look at the girth of that freaking python. That is a monster python, though. Monster. That's no joke. And that's a small crocodile, too. That's a baby crocodile, though. That's no joke. And that's a small crocodile, too. That's a baby crocodile. Nevertheless, I say count it.

I mean, any crocodile's a crocodile. Well, I mean, when I say little, I think they said it was four foot. Okay, so that could bite your hand off. Big enough that I'm not getting anywhere near my dick. Look at that. Oh, damn. Look at how it's swallowing its body. It's expanding its mouth, unhinging its jaw,

and then its whole body just slowly takes it. Straight up, head first. It's breathing. He's BJJing the crap out of that poor little alligator. Unbelievable. It's such a fucking ruthless world, the world of nature. And anybody who has a pet python is an asshole. You're crazy.

You're keeping a monster in your house, and the only reason why it's not killing you is because it's not big enough yet, or it doesn't know that it has to, or it wants to. Once it decides, what are you going to do? If it's 20 feet long, what the fuck are you going to do with a 20-foot-long python? Do people have 20-foot-long pythons in their house?

Yes. I guess somewhere in the family. Some asshole has one guaranteed he's got some fucking patio they've gotten people recently in new york with tigers yeah the fuck well there was a documentary the elephant in the living room did you see it no me neither i was hoping you saw it it's about people it's about people that keep exotic pets as uh you know exotic, wild animals as pets. And it focused on that guy, I think, in Ohio who had all these animals and wound up killing himself, releasing all the animals, then killing himself.

And all these lions and shit were wandering down the street. And the cops had to kill him. It's a small town in Ohio. You can't, like, call in some animal experts. By then, you lost track of your lions. But they had to kill him on sight. But it's really apparently a fascinating documentary.'m it's on my must watch list i'm gonna try it in the living room yeah elephant in the living room it's supposed to be pretty badass watch

i'm watch it next week or come back i can't believe i recommended that piece of shit recommend something sight unseen and it turns out to be fucking crap. You know what car I hope, getting back to cars, that they keep around is that Audi R8. They will. That thing is a crazy car. They've sold enough of them that they'll continue developing it. I looked at that thing, and I was like, that thing hasn't changed almost like a 911 since the moment that they created it. It's only been five years. Yeah, it's only been.

Yeah, but still. You know what, though? It drives a lot better than the V10 Lamborghinis. Does it really? It is. It's nicer to deal with on a daily basis, too. More comfortable. And it has a gated shifter, is what I was going to say.

You can still get it with a stick. It's like one of the last cars with a gated shifter. What is it like shifting? It's so nice. It's nice. Just like the Ferraris. Just like the- It's a little slower doing it that way.

While shifting it that way It's while shifting Yeah but who's Having more fun Yeah but you get Click click click Yes Right right right That's what I was gonna say

It's the metal That metal on metal Oh it's delicious Like a little slower But So nice A different kind of satisfaction So nice

Right Yeah So it goes back to that thing Like it's not about Zero to sixty times No It's about what does it Do to you

While you're driving So you know I mean when you're playing Gran Turismo Or when you're playing I don't play that shit No but okay Alright sorry dude Outrun Okay when you're driving. So, you know, I mean, when you're playing Gran Turismo or when you're playing... Alright, sorry, dude. Outrun.

When you're playing Outrun, okay? Remember? Playing Outrun, right? You put it in the automatic mode if you want it to advance in the game. Oh, okay, that's the game at the arcade, is that what you mean? Yeah, you... Okay, if you want to finish the game

quickly, get over to the next level, get the better cars, yeah, you put it in automatic mode, right? You would. if you want to if you want to finish the game quickly get over to the next level get the better cars yeah you put it in automatic mode right you would so you get it's easier but you know

unless you're a paid race car driver on the track are you really having that much more fun by you know just holding the steering wheel and pushing the gas pedal

I have no problem with automatic transmissions I just think they should have both because there's too many people that like it the other way there's too many people that are bemoaning the loss. Yeah. No, no, I agree

It's got its place, but I don't think the gt3 was the place Yeah, I agree That was like the wrong place to put it They did make a silly argument for it because there's still some cars like a Corvette zr1 and like a Viper that have a stick That'll beat it around a track. Yeah. Yeah There's also that weird thing that automotive journalists do where they go, listen, just go with the PDK. Trust me.

Like I've seen that a bunch of times. Don't do that. The PDK is better. Trust me. We do that. I'm guilty of that. I've done it before. But what is that?

Where does that come from? It was. It was because Porsche's seven speed shifter sucks. Oh, right. I'd rather have a stick than paddles, but if the shifter isn't any good, there's sort of no point. But you're being honest about that. I think a lot of people are not honest about that.

The sad thing is, that's like a $200 fix, like in our parts. Is it really? To make a shitty Carrera shifter. Bushings? Yeah, like linkages and bushings. So you could take one of those 7 speeds and make it a good shifter? Yeah, I haven't done the 7 speeds, but the 6 speeds before it, like a Carrera S

or a Turbo that felt a little sloppy. It didn't feel as good as your GT3. It didn't click into place. So what would you do about that then? You'd take the shifter out. You'd take the console out. So the 7 speeds that they have now, the 991s, do you think you could upgrade that and make it better?

Yeah, you can do those. You can fix those too. What would you have to do? Just take the console out. Take the shifter out. There's an American company, B&M. Oh, yeah.

They make shifters. I mean, you could probably, you know, retrofit. I think you can retrofit some of the linkages and stuff too

from the older cars. $25,000. No, no, no. But you can never, you know, it's too bad you couldn't fit it like with a six-speed.

You know, because I know that they, I don't know why you need seven Yeah, I don't even need seven gears. Anyway, it's not just make nine. Well, Porsches wind pretty high So that that seventh is really really just for a road trip Right if you're gonna be just get on the highway and drive for five hours just stick the fucking thing in seventh Then you'll get four or five miles a gallon better. Yeah, I get that, but still. I think they really wanted to hit that 30 miles a gallon number in the Carrera.

Maybe they should have, like, a button overdrive, you know? Like old school, like one of those foot buttons? Just a little button on the side that's like a road. Did your Cuda have one of those? Yes. The button, the foot. Yeah, every year had an overdrive. Reverse valve body.

That was another thing I didn't want in that car. I didn't want it to be an automatic. And they were like, it has to be an automatic. You're like, why? You're going to have a 1970 Barracuda in an automatic. What color was that car? Silver. That was another thing they argued with me about.

They wanted to paint it up like a Spanish hooker. I had to argue with them. They wanted to put three different colors on it. I was like, wait a minute, what do you want? Oh, so like ghosted angels and flames and stuff? No, it was going to be silver on the on them. I was like, wait a minute, what do you want? And then ghosted angels and flames and stuff. No, it was going to be silver on the bottom, and then it was going to be black, and then it was going to be red.

Silver, red, and then black. Black on the hood, like the old AR hoods. Because Chip Foose has this idea of these designs, and he gets them in his head, and then that's what he wants to do. But then I saw it stripped down when they were sanding the body down. It was all silver.

And you're like, oh. I was like, oh, that has to be all silver. I was like, I've never seen a silver Barracuda. I want to see a silver Barracuda. And I was like, let's do it on silver. And oh, my God, I had to fucking duke it out with those guys. You're making a mistake. I'm like, how am I making a mistake?

Did you pay for that? Oh, yeah. Then the answer is, fuck you. It's my money. It's a lot of money, man, and it wasn't worth it. In the long run, it was a car that was fun to look at

and interesting, and they did a great job building it, don't get me wrong, but... How long did it take? It's just a giant headache. It was a lowered car,

so the back wheel well was tubbed, and it was like four inches off the ground, so it was bottoming out everywhere. This is when... It's a beautiful-looking thing.

Oh, there it is. I mean, that is a very pretty caring out everywhere. This is when... It's a beautiful-looking thing. Oh, there it is. I mean, that is a very pretty car. Very pretty. This is when I decided to get rid of it. I was on the highway. I was coming home, and I was going about, you know, normal speed, highway speed, 60, 70 miles an hour, and I got off the highway.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm at my house, and I pull into my driveway, and the car leans over to the right, and the suspension had fallen off. No, the suspension had fallen off of the frame in my driveway. I was just on the highway 15 minutes ago going 70 miles an hour. Yeah, that's not good. So I said, we're done here. Yeah, that's not good.

I said, that's it. So I called up Steve Stroop. You know Steve Stroop? Yeah. Yeah. Pure Vision, great guy, makes awesome cars. Had him totally fix everything You know to the tee make sure everything's in order because maybe I'll drive it again

Maybe I won't and I let it sit around for a year, and then I just got rid of it Yeah, I just didn't drive it again after that. I was like. I don't trust it Yeah, I want you to trust in a car and stuff like you would like with your 996 turbo you lose trust Just let it go man. Let it it also wasn't the car for me because i'm not a show car guy i'm not gonna i wanted a car that i could drive places i could shut it off and leave it there and then drive it again no that thing you gotta be worried about all the time it was a disaster i totally approve of your of your curves and the roads that you go on i i like that that's that's our style up there and then in norcal that's what we like too well i got rid of that

and then i got a gt3 with the money yeah that's what i did and then. Well, I got rid of that, and then I got a GT3 with the money. Yeah. That's what I did. And then I was like, oh, this thing works. Oh, it's so much better. You know? I don't, a lot of that hand, I have to drive a lot of this home-built shit. You know what I mean? But literally, I drove a car last week, a couple weeks ago, that was seriously built by a fucking redneck by himself over the course of six years it was a 1975 toyota corolla with a supercharged v8 in it oh my god you know it worked out like the car worked actually it was

kind of you know impressive because the guy literally built it in his own little fucking universe and he had nothing to compare it to he's never driven another real sports car and i mean it's amazing the fucking wheel didn't fall off the thing. Yeah, you're alive. I know, but that's, like, every week for me. It's, like, some new crazy sketchy thing that's never been tested. Yeah. Well, dude, there's also, like, from our side,

there's a lot of pressure, like, to, you know, like you said, on Top Gear, that Dutch car manufacturer, whatever the hell, the Zenvo. Oh, they're danish i mean yeah sorry danish yeah right um i mean you know with all the sort of coverage and press we get like we better make sure the car is is dialed like we tested before it's gonna work because i know you know i mean that shit blows up live that's not gonna be cool you know orlando driving it blows up i just found out that xv Motorsports, they stopped making those dope challengers.

Those crazy challengers. They were charging 200 grand for something that wasn't worth 200 grand. What's it worth? What's this? What's that? What's a fucking 72 RS worth a million six? What are these things worth these days? What is worth what?

1.4 million is what I sold for, yeah. If you could have a 1970, a real 1970 Challenger and it actually handles well and brakes well, it might be worth it. I'd have a Superbird. I love those. But that's what I wanted. That's what I wanted when I got that Barracuda. What you ended up with was a show car.

Yeah, a show car that was just a little prissy little bitch that would whine and complain and fucking shit out on me everywhere and left me stranded all these places. Yeah, nearly killed you. Yeah, it did. But I made sure that I did my due diligence and fixed it before I got rid of it. That's very nice.

You didn't want it to happen to you. I didn't want anybody to get sued. Fuck getting sued. You imagine you sell a car and you find out a dude racks it into a tree and is brain dead now. Fuck that. I sold the car to a guy who told me the very next day. Whoa.

Yeah. Good thing I got cash. I took his cash and bought a new fucking car, and it said, have a nice day, sir. Here's the spare key. Would you like it? What kind of car was it? It was a Mustang. Wow.

Was it a crazy car? It was crazy for the time. It was in 94, and I had a stroker motor in it. I mean, it was 400 horsepower in 1997 was a lot isn't it amazing that's what I said 400 horsepower used to be insanity Yeah, my Corvette when I built it in 2005 500 horsepower was like holy shit Well this one M that you were talking about. Yeah, how much is that thing way? 3500 pounds for fairly light light it's about 500 pounds less

than the m4 right the new m4 is 300 pounds yeah yeah closing it on four grand that much it's heavy yeah there was a big article there oh it's the sedan yeah yeah no no the m4 is the yeah you can keep this shit straight yeah mw fucked up i can't you know the other thing too is remember your 996 turbo right so? So I was telling you my buddies in Arizona that work with us on all this stuff, they have a, you know, 1600 horsepower 997 turbo, which is essentially

the same engine, right? It has a parachute on the back. It's essentially a time machine. I drove this thing. Yeah, he drove it. It's just crazy, right? So in that same car, I mean, they drive those things so fast at those mile events that, you know, when they get to like 230, 240 miles an hour, the roof caves in. Yeah. You know, the sunroof just, it just implodes.

When I drove it, I hit like, I hit, I think, 175 or 180 and the windows started peeling out away from the door frame. Oh my God. Yeah. When you see like a red 997 turbo. It's like on drive, you can't drive, you know, you could show up somewhere now at an event with a car that's 1,000 horsepower. Yeah. And any normal person who's, if anyone is still listening to this that cares about 1,000 horsepower, it's amazing. But, you know, and be like, well, I've got 1,500 horsepower.

Like, the internet has fucked it up. Yeah. Completely fucked it up. How has the internet fucked it up? Because the internet, all you can do can just Google and get into that. You can see some fucking psycho in Dubai who's got some Supra with 1,500 horsepower, and all of a sudden that has reset your barometer for normal. Normal is the big numbers you see on the internet now.

Most of these people, if they rode in a 500 horsepower car, would shit their pants. Right. But they see on the internet some psycho with a dyno car that's putting down 1,500, and they go, if yours doesn't make 1,500, it ain't shit. Isn't that interesting when it comes to a lot of fans of cars that can't afford those cars, that it gets to— Haterade, yeah. Yeah, but it also gets to that weird thing, like you're shitting on a car that you can't afford. You don't even know what the fuck it would be like to drive the bronze medalist of this three. You're dealing with an insane demon of a car. You're talking about like the Evo top ten, when they do the top ten of the best supercars of the year, or the best sports cars, or whatever, performance cars is their category.

And like the shittiest one is still pretty fucking solid. These are demonic vehicles. You're dealing with things that defy logic. Like if you drive that Porsche. Yeah, there's people that argue with us and we know, so we'll go film a car like on the press launch. Like the car won't be

in showrooms for six months and we'll go film this car months before it comes out and people will argue about how good or bad it is literally no there's no possible way that they actually have this information it's not possible the transmission has issues i've heard from the guys that work at the factory no fucking shit i know an insider we don't even know we just drove it a lot of people that haven't driven um you know a career gt before have all these opinions about it being super dangerous.

And it's like, no, it's not. It's how you drive it and also what tires you have. It's known for being a little hairy. That's part of its appeal. It's part of the appeal. Yeah. Well, you guys were enlightening me about the Paul Walker car that killed him and his friend. They were nine-year-old tires?

Yeah. So what happens when you have a collector car like that, a car that is a top-tier, you'll see a lot of these Ferrarienzos, these top-tier collector cars where people will buy them and not put many miles on them. So Roger, who was driving the car when Roger and Paul died, bought this car for his collection. He has a huge collection of cars.

Bought this car for his collection he's a huge collection of cars bought this car for his collection it had been sitting there he was gonna put tires on it but but paul was like oh let me just go for a ride around the block and they just went for a ride around the block but because rubber in tires whether you drive on them or not will become very hard over time so it might look like a nice tire with tread you know like it looks more or less like a brand new tire. But that rubber has been slowly hardening and a tire's contact patch with the ground is partially about the tread pattern. But more importantly, it's a chemical bond with tarmac. And so as the tire ages, that becomes much less effective.

You lose traction. And also like tires from the 2004 era, you know't they weren't as good as they are now the missions that we would have put on now are way way grippier stickier yeah cup tires these these gt3 cup car tires that are great and they're insane once they get hot yeah once you sticky and that's the other thing that folks need to understand like when you're driving a car don't skimp on tires ever well also you can't just drive it fast right away you can't just take your car start it out your driveway go right to the racetrack and just you're laughing but see a lot of people would go what's

so funny yeah you got it with the the closer to a racing tire it is the more heat you got so what do you do if you go to if you're a guy and it's your first day on the track and see heat you got to get. So what do you do if you go to, if you're a guy and it's your first day on a track, and say if you've got a GT3. Ever see a Formula One race, that lap right before they start? What they do is, they're going about 10 miles an hour, 10 to 20 miles an hour, and they're going left and right,

left and right. And they're just heating up the tires. They're just putting heat in the tires, yeah. Ah, that's smart. And that's what you do. You don't have to do that, because then you look like you're a fast driver, and that's kind of stupid.

Why can't they put magnets all around the tires and all around the cars itself all around the bumpers and put magnets on all the other cars too and that way when they get near each other yeah they never actually touch yeah that'd be nice they just super powered bumper bowling but on a race and have the magnets powered by the you know the same electrical engine that does like the 918 well you know like when you were driving on your road today, for example, you kind of eased into it. You didn't go balls out. You didn't go balls out anyway,

but you know what I mean. You went a steady pace, and then you kind of went faster and faster. You let some heat in the tires. You let things get settled. You don't just go 10 tenths. Those are always the guys that crash on the first corner of a track on their first day.

I'm not a great driver, but I know how to drive a car. And the good thing is that I grew up in Boston, so I drove on snowy weather all the time. Boston has the shittiest roads, man. They're rough. The shittiest roads, and I was a newspaper delivery guy for like five years.

So I drove 365 days a year. I drove every fucking day. That's crazy. Snowing, raining, didn't matter. Same loop over and over? Over and over and over again. Car control. Up the hills and down sliding into intersections.

Did you do the over the roof toss? Yep. I did over the roof toss. Did you break any windows? I broke everything. Nice. I would roll down the pasture window. I could huck it that way.

I was good with that. I would occasionally go with the loop, the sky hook. But left-handed, man. If I could drive down the street, it was was good with that. I would occasionally go with the loop, the skyhook, but left-handed, man. If I could drive down the street, it was early in the morning, and I knew no cars were coming in the other direction, I would just go in the left lane and just fucking whip them left, right. I have a good route. As long as they're in plastic,

they're going to be fine. You fold them up real quick, toss them. Notice, what would you drive? You had to bag and then toss? What you do is you hang the plastic bags from your rearview mirror. So you got a rearview mirror. You tie the plastic bags off. It's on like this cardboard strip, and there's like a sheet of plastic bags. There might be like 50 or 100 bags, right?

Yeah. And so then the newspapers are stacked up on your passenger seat. And as you're driving, you got to learn how to steer with your knees because you're going real slow. You take the newspaper. You grab it. Fomp, fomp. That's the fold. real slow. You take the newspaper. You grab it. Foom, foom. That's the fold. One left, one right.

Bam. I got it. Now it's like a third of a newspaper. Stuff it in that bag. Shoom. Out the window. And I'm telling you, I'm like, foom, foom, whap, foom. Look at this muscle memory.

The muscle memory is still going right now. And I'd get pissed if I was fucking around with this. Oh, you bitch. And then I hit the brakes. And you didn't have our compound tires on that bad boy, did you? No, no, no. After a while, I invested in a gigantic cargo van with no windows. It was like one of those free candy vans. Oh, a rape van, huh?

Because I could pack that bitch with newspapers. I got this van for like 500 bucks. You never had to go re-up. Dude, I could get a thousand newspapers on Sunday in this van. It was a good Sunday. Sometimes, you know, it wouldn't really be 1,000. And you said what I was doing. I think the most I had was 450 clients.

That was the most I ever had. It would take hours. It was too much. Because I was doing the Boston Herald, the Boston Globe, and the New York Times. I had three routes at the same time. Damn, that's awesome. I was driving in the fucking snow

daily, son. And you said it was hard for me to drive with a camera right in front of my face. Folding newspapers while driving with your knees sounds just as hard.

Especially as high as you probably were. No, no, no, I was sober and there was no one on the road. No more than a foot away from the car in front. That was pretty skillful, dude.

Dude, you were driving. It was very impressive. Very good. In the rain, a foot away from a fucking van in front. That was pretty skillful, dude. Dude, you were driving. It was very impressive. Very good. In the rain, a foot away from a fucking van in front of you. I had Joe come with me in the car. I was like, yo, come check out what we do. And I'm driving his car, him in the passenger seat, Zach

is driving my van, and we're fucking tailgate. That's what we do, is I tailgate the van. It's ridiculous how close he gets. I know you're really good at driving. I was with him. No, that's good. It ridiculous how close he gets. I mean, I know you're really good at driving. I was with him. No, that's good. But whoa.

It's nerve-wracking. I mean, I know you guys have it down to a science. You know what the fuck you're doing when you're filming this. We do, yeah. We bug people out whenever they see us do it. They're like, wait a minute. This doesn't, the videos don't look nearly this sketchy. You should have seen we did one at night,

and we had the van with lights,ed up to the back of the van, a running gas generator in the back of the van while doing that, and I'm driving an Aston Martin. A running gas generator in the van while you're driving? In the van. And it's like on fire? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is crazy! And then I'm driving behind the van with directly into these 400 watt lights in an Aston Martin a foot off the bumper at fucking night.

Oh my god that is ridiculous. It's really sketchy. No permits for this? No insurance? Shhh. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly no permits. Allegedly we're testing equipment. You see you're learning.

Cameras on while we're testing said equipment. We have to have proof of our testing in order to get paid. We happen to have $400,000 in Porsches and a TV celebrity. We're just testing equipment. Just screaming. This car that he's got, this 4.1 liter, 560 horsepower, is that what it is? 540. 540, whatever the fuck it is.

It's a lot. It's a screaming monster. And you hear it literally three quarters of a mile away. It's really far. Three quarters of a mile away. Alex and I were waiting while you were going on your first wild ride. Yep. And we were like, you hear it?

You hear it? And you were nowhere near us. There you go. Go. Wow, that's really good. That's a great G3. Really good. It was so loud, dude.

That really is. It was rounding corners and shit. You've got a GT3 voice now. That was really good. It's really good. It's a dope fucking car, man. Do you make that noise while you're driving your own car? Oh, yeah.

In the shower, you're fucking shifting and shit? Yeah, it's like singing along. It's like karaoke. Do it again. Can I get a full lap of Nürburgring right now? In the shower, you're fucking shifting and shit? Yeah, it's like singing along. It's like karaoke. Do it again. Can I get a full lap of Nürburgring right now? That's fucking good. That's good, man.

That's great. All the skills that you could acquire in this life. Making noises that sound like cars. It's fucking the top of the list. A lot of time I spent. I worked hard. It's like video game skills. It's like being good at EverQuest. There's the guy who does the car noises in the soda

can. Have you seen that one? In a soda can? Yeah, the guy who makes Lamborghini noises in the soda can. It's fairly awesome. That actually makes sense. It's Tinny. Are you doing it? That sounds more like a viper. No, that's more like a viper. That's a good sport mode. No, that's more like a viper. That's a viper, dude.

There's too much coffee in here. I'm getting crazy. That's a viper. Here's the only good sound that I do that really sounds real is a dog. One time we were on Fear Factor and a bunch of people were waiting to do this stunt. They were blindfolded. They'd move them in in blindfolds because they had to get their camera position set up. So they had no idea what the stunt would be.

So as these people are moving in, I'm going... Oh, shit! Oh, damn! And they're sitting there going, oh, Jesus Christ. And they're, like, moving really slow. Wow, that's fucking creepy. That is creepy.

When it's right next to you, it's creepy. Have you seen Total Blackout? What is that? Jaleel White's show? No. Jaleel White? Urkel? No.

Urkel? He got a show. What kind of show? So it's called Total Blackout, right? They're laughing already. They got people to come in, and they make them go in pitch black rooms and do shit with their hands in pitch black. So they have to guess what they're touching in pitch black rooms.

So it'll be fucking spiders and bullshit. You know what I mean? Jimmy Sabo's in it probably. They'll have to rub a sweaty fat man. You know what I mean? And they'll have to like... And so it's... Generally, people freak out over some dumb shit.

So that just kind of fucking got me on that. I don't know why. There's no point to it, actually. But it's Urkel from that show? He's the fucking host. Isn't he a big giant dude now? No. Oh, the other guy.

Urkel's brother. Oh, Eddie Wynn? No, that's Eddie Wynn. Who was Urkel's brother? He didn't have a brother. Yeah, he had a brother, didn't he? Didn't Urkel have a brother? No.

There was a family... What? No, I don't think he had a brother. Didn't have a fucking brother? He was like the lone No, no, I don't think he had a brother. Did he have a fucking brother? Did not have a, he was like the lone neighbor. Ah, shit. I'm so bad on my old school 1990s sitcoms I never watched. But people lose their fucking mind when they can't see shit.

Oh, yeah. Which I'm sure you're well aware of. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm a big fan of the sensory deprivation tank. You know, I'm always getting one of those things. Well, the show that you were doing. Did you watch your house? The X Factor stuff.

So the. Fear Factor. Sorry, sorry. Ketchup. Yeah, there's one in Venice. No, I meant Fear Factor. Sorry. Ketchup. Yeah. I didn't mean to. No, I meant Fear Factor. What do they charge for that?

$40. For an hour? For an hour and a half, I think. So the British version, Hammond was doing it. Fear Factor? Yeah. Yeah, I just thought that was cool. No kidding.

Because he has a GT3, so it's GT3 guys. That's hilarious. So he started doing it after I started doing the US version? Yeah, there was a bunch of different hosts of Fear Factor all over the world. I mean, how weird. Yeah, but that's not crazy. He had a GT3 RS. You have a GT3 RS?

Crazy, man. We're both short. This is fucking nutty. I know. The coincidences go on and on. I know, man. We're both mildly amusing. This is insane.

Yeah. You've got to hook up that tank. Yeah, well, you should definitely. You would love it. It's very relaxing, too. I did one like 10 years ago, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Why didn't you do it again? Because I don't live in the state in which I did it.

Ah, right. You did it in New York? Yeah, I haven't gotten around to checking it out again. They're opening up now. It's become a popular thing again. Is it? Yeah, all over the country. What are the preferred drugs for sensory deprivation?

Marijuana is the number one. I'm saying, marijuana is your friend. Especially edible. Okay. Yeah, you go the edible route. Get to the point where you think you're probably going to be the first guy to die of an overdose, and then get in. Just get in.

Right on Heaven's Door. You want to get right like your fucking Eric Clapton song. Knock, knock, knockin' on Heaven's Door. Do want to get right like your fucking Eric Clapton song. Knock, knock, knocking on Heaven's Door. Do one of those 180 milligram Chiba Chews right to the face. God damn it! Those Chiba Chews, as you're eating them, you start hallucinating as you're chewing. You start seeing vapor trails near your lips as you're chewing. You don't want to eat too much Chiba Chew.

It's so easy. Dude, I was on a fucking... it's so easy dude i was just one centimeter i was on a plane with joey diaz okay and joey diaz had already eaten one a full one and i go how much should i have he goes don't even need more than a half a full one it puts in his mouth i go you you had one earlier he goes this is my third one my third one dog he goes we're on a fucking six-hour flight. Uncle Joey's going deep. He told me, don't even eat a half, and he ate three of them.

Was he fucked? Oh, he didn't say nothing, but then we landed. He goes, I almost had a fucking panic attack. I almost opened that door and jumped out. I almost was going to tell the lady as the plane was taking off, I'm not going to fucking do it. I'm not doing this. That happened with Ari Shafir once. I gave him a breast strip, and while we were waiting to take off,

he starts clenching the seat, and I go, what? And he goes, nothing. And then when we landed, he goes, I was going to get up, and I was going to tell him to stop the plane. No, you weren't. He goes, yes, I was going to tell him to stop the plane. He got so high, he was going to tell him to stop the plane. No, you weren't. He goes, yes, I was going to tell him to stop the plane. He got so high. He was going to tell him to stop the plane.

We had a friend in town, and there was a little miscommunication. We gave him a couple edibles, and we didn't make it very, very clear that you only eat one at a time. So those three cookies he ate at once right before having an epic meltdown and puking on this fucking flight. It's good. You can really hurt yourself. You can really pull something. I don't do 50 milligrams is my maximum. Yeah.

And that's high. 50 milligrams is very high. 50 is a biggie dose. They sell the gold caps in 50s now. It's like, whoa. Well, those candies, you ate a candy, right? The candies,

those are a good dose, because the Jolly Ranchers, they're like, one of them is like a nice, mellow, not too fucked up. You can kind of get through it, and two of them, ooh, you're going to feel tingles. Two of them, you're going to be like, I might have just fucked up. Maybe I should have taken that second one But if you really want to go crazy

The Chiba Chews are the really really gnarly ones I was gonna say the Chiba Chews Is probably like five of those Like that's how strong a Chiba Chew is It's like five of those When I first saw that and it said 180 milligrams I was like there's no way That they could sell this to somebody

They know that there's a market They know there's a market out there. Well, we have, I mean, have you come across dabs yet? Dabs are like... I don't fuck around with that stuff, dude. It's too much. Everybody's going too deep. You're going too deep and you don't even know what's down there.

You know? You're going to the Marianas Trench and fucking Godzilla's taking a shit. I don't know. James Cameron's not doing dabs. Yeah, he's not. Could you imagine being high as fuck at the bottom of the ocean and also being a billionaire at the same time? What am I doing down here? I have so much money.

I could have just sent a fucking camera down here and got the exact same thing. You know how crazy James Cameron is? Think about how crazy he is. He's got at least a billion dollars, probably more. At least, yeah. And he's built a fucking submarine to go to the lowest point and become the first guy to do it. I read the best quote from James, when in the

month of this searching for the plane, the Malaysia plane, they're looking for it. So someone asked James Cameron, what do you think? You're into this shit, how do we find the fucking plane? Right. And he's talking about, he actually was on Reddit, and he actually did a very thorough explanation of how one would go about searching for the Right. And he's talking about, he actually was on Reddit, and he actually did like a very thorough explanation

of how one would go about searching for the plane. And he actually was like, you don't need my submarine because my submarine is too much for this mission. Oh, that's hilarious. You'd back it off one and use a slightly worse sub than James Cameron has in order to find the missing plane, which hasn't been found yet. But isn't it impossible to find something in the ocean?

The plane is just the size of a plane. Dude, there's sharks that just got discovered in the last few years. You know what I mean? Gigantic. That shit's gone. I mean, how could you find it? You have to be really lucky.

Yeah. Right? They found the fucking Titanic. Yeah, but it looked like a long time. That's true. A long, long time. It only took them like 80 years. 80 years?

73. No, it was in the 80s. 74 years. Bob Ballard, 1986, I believe. Was it really? Yeah. That is a crazy. But they knew the exact path of the Titanic.

That's true. That's true. That's a good point. They made movies about raising the Titanic before they found it. Remember that? Oh, remember the raising the Titanic movie? Oh, yeah. That was dreadful. They tied a bunch of fucking lift bags to it. That's true. That's a good point. They made movies about raising the Titanic before they found it. Remember that? Oh, remember the raising the Titanic movie? Oh, yeah. That was dreadful.

They tied a bunch of fucking lift bags to it and thought that would work? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It did. It did work. They got raised. Well, you know, there's this thing called-

And then there was a Soviet nuclear bomb. There's this podcast that I listen to all the time. It's called Radiolab, and it's a great podcast. Radiolab from NYC,c wnyc and they had this episode on a glomar response and a glomar response is i can neither confirm nor deny you know everybody uses that all the time it came from global marine and global marine was a company that was hired to try to retrieve a sunken russian submarine and this was right after watergate this is the 1970s so because everybody was really sensitive about lies,

the Freedom of Information Act had come about and they'd gotten to the point where they were forced to talk and discuss about what they were doing out there in the ocean. Were you actually trying to retrieve a Russian submarine? Did you retrieve a Russian submarine? And they said we can neither confirm nor deny.

And that had become, because of that Glomar response That's like a standard phrase now So they had to try to figure out They were forced by law to respond And to give information So that was the information they get That they can neither confirm nor deny

Did they find it? What do you think? Oh yeah they found it for sure Not only did they find it They almost pulled it up They attached this giant claw to a huge ship, and they were trying to pick this thing up in the ocean. Like the fucking thing that gets toys? Yes, exactly.

And it worked just as well. That thing never works. It got halfway up, and then it broke off. I almost got an iPod Nano. Fuck. And they had it on film. More like a fluffy little bunny or something. It was miles deep.

Miles deep in the ocean. And they got a hold of it it and they got it on film. And they were watching it as they were bringing it up. But the feedback, the loop from watching it was delayed. So they felt this thump. And then they looked at the film and the film showed that the boat was still there. So then they refreshed the feed and the boat was gone. And they dropped it basically.

Dropped it back to the bottom of the ocean. Millions and millions and millions of pounds. And they're clawing it with a fucking little carny claw. You gotta love that optimism though. They really thought they probably could. Well, they came close. They did lift it up off the ground and got it a mile up.

Oh, really? They brought it pretty fucking far up before it broke off. Live video of it just breaking free. Shit. Millions and millions and millions of dollars. But they, apparently, eventually they got it.

I don't know. I think Ballard had to do the same. Like, he had to find a whole bunch of submarines and do this stuff for the government, and this Titanic thing was a side thing. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's how it was. And part of the skim. Well, isn't it fun when they find

these sunken boats from like the Roman era? Oh, yeah. Millions of dollars in gold. Someone just found $10 million in gold in their backyard

in California. Wow. They found gold coins in some one of the fucking 1800s buried in their backyard. Crazy. Did he have to give it back?

No, it's theirs. No, no, no. But I did read they had to pay taxes on it. Oh, God. The government's a cunt. You didn't find shit, you fuckhead. It's gold.

How can you pay taxes on gold? I don't know. Unless you sell that gold. Because they probably figured out some paperwork where it was owed in 1800, right? Maybe it was something that said that if they sold it. Maybe. Yeah, they paid taxes. But, man, that should be how you're free and away from taxes, because taxes is only about money.

I don't remember. I may have misconstrued the story. As some analyst said, if they ever sold it, they would have to pay taxes, or blah blah blah. Because I would think that, what is a gold- originally, money was supposed to be gold notes, right? It was like, this hundred dollars is worth a hundred dollars in gold. Yeah. So if you already have the hundred dollars in gold, you don't need the money. Fuck the money. So if you don't need the money, what am I paying taxes on again?

What the fuck's going on here, man? They just chisel a quarter of it off. There you go. Here's a little piece for you. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I think in the future, gold, the idea of a resource-based economy, whether it's gold

or diamonds or have it be worth that, that a way better idea yeah then paper credit cards and money and you know the system that we have now like the idea of the the system that we have now like a piece of paper represents 100 bucks and what the 100 bucks gets you fluctuates depending on how the fucking economy's doing and yeah bitcoins man buy bitcoins i have some bitcoin do you yeah but i didn't buy them So I'm giving them away I did a thing, I had this guy on I listened to your Bitcoin podcast It was super interesting actually

Well, you know, I think it's possible It's very possible that that could be a currency in the future It was right, I listened to that podcast Immediately before that Mt. Gox thing Took fucking everyone's money down with them And I was like, oh shit That was hilarious That Mt. Gox thing just shows you's money down with him i was like oh shit yeah that was hilarious that mount gox thing is just shows you how nutty the internet is yeah i i laughed because everyone

said i should buy bitcoins instead of cars and i said fuck you i can still drive my cars where's your yeah well you could still the bitcoins are still good if they weren't in mount gox mount gox thing was a crazy thing because it was the magic the gathering exchange that's what it was that fuck off is that what that is? Yes, it was. Magic the Gathering Exchange was the originator of Mt. Gox. That's funny. And what they originally were supposed to be doing was exchanging things from the fucking game. And then along the way, they start, yes, look up the story.

Fascinating shit. That's crazy. And along the way, they started dealing in digital currency. And when they started doing it, they didn't have any of the security in place. They weren't set up for it. And they've lost something like $350 million worth of Bitcoin. So they started by trading mana? Is that what you're saying?

I don't know how that stuff works. But that's what it came. Mt. Gox is short for Magic the Gathering Exchange. How nerdy is it that I know what the currency is in Magic the Gathering? You did know, and I didn't even know what you were talking about. What is it? Mana is the currency in Magic the Gathering. Erase that from your head.

Yes, I am that fucking horrible. Come on, man. You can get that shit out of your head. Yo, red deck, son. I got a red deck. All right, if you had to recommend a convertible sports car in today's climate, what's the car? You got $100,000 below. $100 the car? You got $100,000 below. $100,000?

Ooh, $100,000? $200,000. Oh. $200,000, okay. No, no, all right. Joe's like, how much money do I have to spend right now? All right. Well, for you?

No, for anybody. What I'm saying is, in the old days, okay, when you looked at a guy driving a sports car, you should look at a gentleman. He had a scarf on. It's blowing in the breeze. He's got fucking pilot's goggles on. Yeah, wayfarers and a fucking cigar.

There was always no roof, you know? It was like a roofless option was the sporty option. Yeah. But somewhere along the line, we found that to be folly. Well, the chassis rigidity came into play, you know? Because your GT500 was a convertible. Yeah. And you folly well the chassis rigidity came into play you know you because you your gt500 was a convertible yeah and you did not like you did not like sloppy that way i did not like the chassis but what i did like was how stupid that car was it was america fuck yeah in a car yeah you know but by being a convertible it had kind of a shitty chassis it's sloppy the coupes

are somewhere along the way, people started saying, if you want to really get the performance out of it, it has to be a coupe. Sometimes they actually make cars that were meant to be convertibles from the get-go. Like the MP12C in a way. Yeah, and the Nissan 370Z as well was designed to be a roadster.

Yeah, the MP12CZ fucking... How much does that bitch cost? So use their... Do you want to take a leak? No, no. Use their $170,000. Sweat it up. It's hot in here, I think.

Yeah. $170,000. Those things cost $170,000? You used... Yeah. And the top pops down and goes to the back in some way? Or is that a spider? It's a spider.

It goes to the spider version. Yeah, it's like $250,000, $260,000. $250,000. It's a goddamn house in New Orleans. Yeah. Or three Detroit. Not in America. It's a goddamn house in New Orleans. Yeah. Or three Detroit. Not in America. It's not even a parking spot.

No. Meaning Los Angeles. No, if you want a convertible for $100,000, you want a Jaguar F-Type. That new Jaguar. I was going to ask you about that. Is that a cool car? Yeah. It looks pretty wild.

Yeah, it's cool. Dynamically, not quite as good as the 911, but so fucking cool. Not quite as good, but pretty goddamn good. But so cool. As a cruiser, as a go fast and have fun, but I don't care about a lap time cruiser, makes a great sound. It's fucking loud and obnoxious. It's a beautiful looking car, too. I saw one at the mall the other day.

I was like, holy shit. But you shit on Jags because you shit on British cars. So I tried to do it. I had an XKR convertible like in 1999. It was a supercharged version, the R version. That was a cool looking car. It was a cool looking car. Yeah, it was a cool design.

I thought it looked actually better than the Aston Martin, which was the DB7. And it was faster. But it was just really floppy. I mean, I was going to kill myself driving at a track or in canyons in that car because the suspension, it was just all floppy. You've driven fucking every car there is, and for you to say that his cars are the best cars you've ever driven. They're really, well, when I drove a stock GT3 RS at the time,

I was like, this is the best car I've ever driven. His cars are just better than that. That's incredible. That turned to 12. What about the Ferrari 458? They're very nice. They are very nice, but they're not... The Porsche GT3 RS

is everything that you want about driving a race car, but it doesn't beat you up for making that decision. The Ferrari does? A lot of other cars, like I just drove the Mercedes SLS Black Series, which is the racetrack version of their going SLS, right? And all the trade-off you get for the racetrack performance makes it worse to drive on the street.

The throttle's touchy, it's stiff, it's wider and lower and less practical, but the GT3 RS and Alex's cars are... They don't kick you in the fucking dick because you decided you wanted to drive a race car.

Do you like luxury cars at all? Do you like Lexus LS? They're alright, yeah. The new Range Rovers? I love them. Really? Love them. Now, The new Range Rovers, I love them. Really? Love them. Now, aren't Range Rovers kind of shitty cars, though? They're not reliable, but when they work, they're amazing. They're good at going off-road.

They're good on farms. They're really good off-road, right? So comfortable. How come they're not reliable? Because they're built in England. That's what it is, right? That is why. The people suck at building shit.

We have great ideas. We have really great ideas. But our manufacturing, it went down the toilet like many years ago And we didn't change Right now is a good time for Range Rover All the money that Ford put into them Over the last 10 years Is coming out in Jaguar and Land Rover's new cars now

Ford owns Jaguar and Land Rover? Owned for a while Now Tata owns Oh Tata, who the fuck is Tata? It's a very rich Indian dude And they make these little like I don don't know what they're called. They make little like almost smart car type little cheap cars in India, but they also now own Jaguar and Land Rover.

Whoa. Well, it's better than like a Russian kid owning a car company. Yeah. Is that bad? That wasn't good. That wasn't bad. Who was that? That was, what did they, who did they buy?

There's a company in England called TVR. TVR, yeah. Remember the, so remember that movie with John Travolta? Yeah, the Tusken. Swordfish. The one where he got hit by lightning and became super smart? No, not that one. Remember that?

Why do you remember that one? I remember that one. Why do you remember that one? He became really good at Portuguese. You learned the Portuguese language in 20 minutes? Yeah. Not all of it. Not all, yeah.

There's a fucking new one with Scarlett Johansson. They inject her with some shit and she learns Chinese in five minutes. That sounds awesome. It's the same fucking movie. She's ripping off John Travolta. God damn it, Scarlett. You're better than that. You're an Avenger.

He has real hair then. Yeah. Maybe. Who knows? Yeah. Everyone went nuts for that car, and that was a TVR, because you didn't have it here. It was a company that's sort of on the edge of death pretty much its whole life. And so some Russian billionaire kid bought it as sort of a toy.

There's a TVR. Oh, throw that in the garbage. No, but that isn't the one. You like these. These things are raw and light and stick shift. They're like an English Viper, but just not even built that well. Do you remember that shitty movie with Charlie Sheen, which is a Porsche thief? Yeah, No Man's Land.

I love that movie. That's like's Land. I love that movie. That's like all the Porsche people love that movie. Or other shitty Charlie Sheen movie, The Chase. No, that was really bad. Shitty? That was Nick Nolte or Nick Cage. So remember No Man's Land? Yeah, dude, look at No Man's Land, right?

Just watch a scene where there's actually a car chase in it. And you see them speeding away in like an 80s you know 911 turbo or whatever 9 911 they're stealing and then following them is always you know the shitty 80s camaro and it cannot go straight or put down any power of any kind it's just literally doing this the whole way placement yeah they really they had porsche's deal listen you got to make that chase car a real shitbox. Well, back in the days, like those 930 turbos that was in that movie. Yeah. What else could, what could beat them back then?

Ferraris. Was it? Yeah. Lambo's not going out of turn. 959. So you would have to have something like that. Yeah. But it was pre-959, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I don't, well, it was. I think it was like 86, 87. Like those 930 turbos, there was nothing around that could fuck with those back then. No, they were really fast. Those were 0 to 60 in five seconds in like 1979. In the 70s, in first gear.

Whoa, that's so crazy. Yeah, yeah. My 79, 930, like I could get on the freeway and I could still, you know, I would start, you know, from a stop sign, you know, and go on the freeway and I did not change gear, you know. Like I could just sit there. Now is it possible to do something like that. But make it a car that you could. That 9 Meister. 9 RSR.

What the fuck do you call it. Is it possible to make something like that. That you could drive like a GT3. Like an older 911. No. Too much work. Too much Frankenstein. Have you ever seen that video? work? Too much race car. How does that nine-meister? Too much Frankenstein. Have you ever seen that video?

Yeah. Well, it's a race car. Yeah. Basically a race car. It would have zero compliance. You'd get beaten up. You could drive it. You wouldn't like it very much.

Sounds perfect. That's what I'm looking for. Looking for something that's bolted right to the wheels themselves. I don't need any suspension. No, you don't need that. That old Porsche that you saw us make the video of, the red one, it's like that. Is it really? That car beats you up a little bit.

That car was amazing. That's a BBI. BBI Autosport. That thing is insane. Yeah, it's nutty. 275 horsepower at the wheels, and it's, how much does it weigh? 2,500 pounds. 2,200 pounds or something.

Wow. It's stupid light. It's got nothing in it. No, it's just not interior. No carpet, no nothing. But isn't it interesting that there's a bunch of people that are going to that?

Like the actual lead designer of Bugatti has a Porsche that he has Kevlar body panels. He has no stereo. The irony of the head of a company that makes the heaviest fucking car, you know, 4,400 pounds

is a Veyron. He chooses to drive something that's like 2,000 pounds. The most minimalist version of that car, too. I mean, he has the same thing. A gutted interior. Everything is removed. No AC, no radio, no nothing.

He just has this super light car. And it doesn't even look like a crazy engine. No, it's not even a crazy engine. It's a fairly basic engine, isn't it? Yeah, for those kind of cars, yeah. I mean, people push it. You don't need much. Light goes a crazy engine. It's a fairly basic engine, isn't it? Yeah, for those kind of cars, yeah. Yeah. I mean, people... You don't need much. Light goes a long way. The reason I was getting at this is

you were saying while you were driving that BBI car, that after all these years of doing tuned, where you're driving all these fucking wild, crazy, super charged, fucking super horsepower, that this is what you were enjoying. Light is really good

That's what's a good like all this crazy power It's like you can't use that right or you get into it for two seconds And then you have no right and then to use it continuously you have to stop that five thousand pound brick You know repeatedly and then your brakes shit You know you're surprised why runways and stuff when it gets to the top end of this thousand You know you're surprised why runways and stuff when it gets to the top end of this thousand These people are racing on runways that that Porsche the 16 horsepower. Yeah the Yeah, the Evo guys, you know with the parachute on the back I mean, yeah, they have to go to like fully sanctioned but when you're driving a car like that BBI Porsche

You can use all of it. Yeah. Yeah, and you just light light is good. You don't need a zillion horsepower Well, look at the videos of Magnus. You didn't enjoy it as much as you enjoyed driving the GT3 RS. Oh, the limits are fucking so high. I'd go to jail in 10 minutes if I had one of those things. If you had one of the GT3 RSs. But if you had one of those BBI Porsches, you could actually drive it all the time. I could probably drive it and stay in jail.

But my body would shrivel up into a fucking old man. Here's the question, though. Oh, yeah, for you. It would beat up your back, too. My back is fucking shot. But here's the question. Would you be able to enjoy it after driving a GT3 RS? Probably.

Old is always... Something that's old is sort of frozen in time. It will always be that. You can always go back to it and it doesn't wear off. Whereas this new shit where it's computer controlled and paddle shifters, every time there's a new one, the old one feels

old. Whereas something that is stick shift and analog is timeless and frozen in that moment. Like a 69 Mustang. It will always be a 69 Mustang. And it will never feel any older than it already is. But an 89 Mustang is kind of

dog shit. Fuck you. I'm taking mine to get some crazy shit. Which means I have to go soon, actually. An NSX feels good. It feels as good as any Cayman that Porsche's ever done. 25 years later. It was a 27 as any Cayman that Porsche has ever done. Yeah, I had one. It was a 275 horsepower, five-speed.

It was one of my favorite cars ever. It wasn't that fast, but it was fun to drive. It's fun to ring it out and use it. You could use the whole thing. And it was so balanced. The car really made you feel like you were really doing it. You were really moving. Except the horns on the thumbs.

Ferrari has that now. They have all the on the thumbs me Ferrari has that now? The horn is on the steering wheel? The horn is in the same place as it was in your car the blinkers are on the steering wheel too. How dare they. How dare they. What excites you about what's coming out right now? About the new cars that are out that you've been driving because you drive drive, how many cars do you drive a year? 150 to 200 usually. That's insane. That's a lot. A lot of new cars. That's insane.

What is exciting right now? Holy shit. Well, the new Mustang is exciting. Yeah. Independent suspension in the Mustang, finally. A turbo engine. Really? Yeah, there's a four-cylinder turbo that's going to be kind of the tuner special for

the Mustang. It's going to be neat. I'm excited. That's going to be interesting, too, because it's going to be lightweight in the front, right? What about the Alpha 4C? Have you driven that? I haven't driven it. Chris Harris drove it and liked it.

Other people have driven it and said different things. I'm excited for it. I want to try it. I want to try it. When are they going to put out the big horsepower Mustang? Because they're going to have a new version of the Shelby? Probably 2016, I would bet. It'll be at least a year after the first company.

Are they going to have a GT, though? Yeah. There's three engines. The base one is a V6, and the turbo four is a step up from the V6, actually. And then the V8 will be like 450 horsepower. That's going to be interesting to see what it's like. The Boss 302 engine is the V8. I wonder if they'll do a whole Laguna Seca version of it.

They'll do something like that. The Boss 302 was too successful for them not to do another something. That's really cool. And the new Challenger Hellcat,

which is the best name ever for a car. Yeah, I just looked at pictures of that, man. It's pretty beastly looking. It looks pretty badass, but it also looks like it doesn't have any

fucking back tires. It doesn't look like a very meaty back-tired vehicle. I bet the tires go... Like, look at that. I'm not comfortable stomping on the gas. I think it's probably meant for doing burnouts. Yeah, that's probably why. The skinnier the tire, the more burnout, yeah. Well, that'll work. It's 600 fucking horsepower. Yeah, it should be sick. And the new M3 and M4, I'm excited for. I just hope that this has some handling to it it I think it would be cool if they you know

they had it working compete with like the new Camaro the LS are big man that's a 4,000 pound plus or it's a big car those those cars are like they're GT cars they're great on a road trip they're great for we that is that like a zl1 type suspension in it I mean how much bigger is a Camaro or how much bigger is it this than a Camaro really it's probably 600 pounds 700 pounds heavier Wow it's a big it's a big girl that thing I drove one when I did my sci-fi show I enjoyed it but it did feel like a GT car it's a good cruiser and I have six be the worst it does yeah I liked it they're neat they're just not race cars and we'd rather like, you know a thousand pounds less than 100 horsepower more though

You know like a three thousand pound car would be so much better. Yeah, but there ain't nothing wrong with a 660 pound Dodge Challenger Yeah, that's the shit. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't want one in my own garage I'm not gonna go drop 60 on it right now, but I'm glad it exists Yeah, it's you know as a like a comfortable daily driver. it's a great car really that's it most powerful muscle car in Chrysler history does it have any specs I think it's supposed to be 666 horsepower supercharged 6.4 liter v8 that looks and wait look scroll wait scroll back up real quick see this there's that headlight there's an air intake right next to the headlight. What?

Yeah, like drag cars. That's straight out of JDM, dude. Or they drill it where they take out the headlight and put an intake there. They've done that here. So you remember you said you had a super. A lot of people would take that front light out, right? And it would, I think it was on the driver's side.

And so they'd go down the track at night with one light, which was illegal. But they'd have this hole going all the way in with a tube and intake into the engine. That's so crazy. Does that mean it takes away one of the headlights? Yeah, yeah. Does it make it less safe to drive?

No, the inner ones are auxiliary fog lights or whatever. Yeah, on that car. They've just changed the headlight pattern to make it cool. And it's actually, it's got a little what they call angel eyes, like BMWs have the rings. Oh, yeah. That intake's got an angel eye thing around it. Isn't it a weird time for fucking performance cars where a car that used to be ridiculous and is out of the box mustang gt

yeah it used to be ridiculous to have 420 fucking horsepower i just drove a lamborghini kuntosh quattro valve fastest car in the world at the time mustang gt today makes as much horsepower that you can buy for $28,000. Is there a corresponding increase in traffic accidents with all this horsepower? Safety features, tires are a big difference now. The speed limits haven't gone up. Speed limits are exactly the

fucking same. They have gone up a little. Have you ever seen that show called Fifth Gear? It was the original guys from Top Gear. So they went off and did a more serious car show. So I think it was about three years ago, they did this shoot or segment on traction control, and they had Tiff Nadell trying to base.

Oh, my word. Sticks with a fucking manual transmission. No more pistol grip, though. America. Fuck yeah. I'll tell you why, because more pistol grip though. America. Fuck yeah. I'll tell you why. Because the pistol grip kind of sucked a fat dick. Overrated.

It was overrated. Wasn't that cool? Yeah. It looked good. Well, they had this law in Europe. Basically, in all of Europe where you have to have traction control on all cars now. And the system has to be so good that even Tiff Nadell could not get the car to slide. He tried every single thing he could to get it to slide.

Remember that? Remember that one? That was crazy, yeah. Because he's like the drift king. If anything, what they've done to make the tires larger, it says the subtle trimmed hem of the wheel wells accommodates the aggressive 20-inch aluminum wheel and tire package.

Because that's what I would worry about. I don't know the fucking Peterman catalog. They've gone inward with it. The wheels are deeper. Oh, I see. They're a deeper wheel, so they don't stick out any further. They go in further. You know what else is silly, though, with these newer cars?

So I don't even know how big are those wheels. They're probably 21. You know, why don't you watch your mouth when you're in my country calling our cars silly? How about that? No, no, all of these cars. Even a 991 Turbo. That's great.

It's got 20-inch wheels. 20. Why not just have 22s? Because people want their shit on rims. Is 20-inch too big? Is that what you're saying? Why do you... Race cars still use 18s.

Right. That's the optimum. Do they use 20 just for looks? Pretty much. And to fit bigger brakes. they use 20 just for looks? Pretty much. And to fit bigger brakes. But you gotta admit, it does look fresh. It does.

I agree, but... Can I plug something before we get out of here? Let's get out of here and pull it away. Last time I was on the show, we talked about going off this off-road adventure

we were doing, 600 miles off-road in the state of Washington in some shitboxes. The film comes out June 1st. Beautiful. What's it called? It's called All Cars Go to Heaven.

It's available on Vimeo. It's as a rental or a digital download. Beautiful. It's also available on our YouTube channel. Very cool. And we shenanigans. We shenanigansed the shit out of a couple beater cars across the state of Washington. It was fantastic.

I can't wait to see it. Somebody produced this for you? Did you guys do it in-house? We did it all in-house. Spoken to our production. Oh, that's amazing. I love it. And our whole crew appears on camera too, not just me. That's glorious. All cars go to heaven. There it is. There's the trailer. Give me some volume.

The entire state of Washington. I am driving a Jeep Grand Cherokee. Zach is driving that. And it's day two so far. The hood is up, and he's down half a suspension. Want to see how the rest of it goes? Watch the whole movie, only at the Smoking Tire. Yeah, so we basically bought some cheap cars, tried to go 600 miles off-road across the entire state of Washington into Canada.

And it's harder than it looks. And you drove over ground? Off-roading. Look at this. That's an 87 Tercel we bought for $300. Was someone surfing on the hood? That was Zach. Yeah, Zach.

That's not recommended. No, not at all. Wow. And so it's a good time. That sounds awesome, man. It's like $4, I think. $4, ladies and gentlemen. Come on.

Less than this beer right here. Yeah, 16 quarters. Come on, gulp it up. Yep. So June 1st, thesmokentire.com slash film. Sounds glorious. And drive on NBC Sports. Yes.

It starts Saturday the 24th at 9.30 a.m. Eastern, which is stupid. It's right before Monaco Grand Prix qualifying, though. Beautiful. And then it repeats at 10.30 p.m. Eastern on NBC Sports. Yeah, you can ask for a better one. That's good. That's a good one. Right after Monaco Grand Prix qualifying.

Well, let me know when it comes out, and we'd be happy to promote it here. And let me know. I'll give you some codes to download the film to give away to people. The film uh let me know um i'll give you some some uh codes to download the film yeah give away to people the film let me know that let me know the show i'll let everybody know when the show comes out and you can follow matt online uh the smoking tire on twitter and what's the website the smoking tire smoking tire.com shark works if you want to get your car hooked up if you're you're interested in uh getting you know maybe you do i don't know maybe like fuck you joe rogan i don't know we've got like we've got like over If you want to get your car hooked up, if you're interested in getting, you know, maybe you do.

I don't know. Maybe like, fuck you, Joe Rogan. I don't know. We've got like over 500 cars. That's just some of the ones that we've done that we put up there. And if you're just an enthusiast and you dream one day of the future, watch some of the videos online because they're pretty fucking awesome. We're going to have your car and your car. Oh, that's right. Coming on the Smoking Tire.

Glorious. Glorious. All right. Thank you, Alex. Good times, my friend. Thank you, Alex. Good times, my friend. Thank you, man. And you can follow Alex on Twitter at SharkWorks, right? That's correct.

SharkWorks on Twitter. With an E. Works. Yeah. W-E-R-K-S. Works. SharkWorks. And that's it.

All right. Thank you to our sponsors. Thanks to Stamps.com. Use the code word J-R-E and save yourself some money. Get a $110 bonus offer including up to $55 of free postage and a free digital scale. Thanks also to LegalZoom.com. LegalZoom.com. What was the code of LegalZoom?

God damn it, Jamie. God damn it, Jamie. I'll tell you right now. I've got it in front of me. Use the code word Rogan at checkout. Save yourself some money. All right, we'll be back next week. Mad guests.

Lots of fascinating conversations to have and interesting people to talk to. And that's it. So we see you soon. Much love to everybody. Big kiss. Good night. Mwah. Cool. Woo. tune. Much love to everybody. Big kiss. Good night.