The Joe Rogan Experience - #54 - Eddie Bravo

Episode Date: November 9, 2010

Joe sits down with Eddie Bravo.

Smile on your face. Three. With her ID. Every picture has her ID. You could get fucking busted for pedophilia. What are you talking about? Child pornography. Dude, we're live.

Eddie Bravo, how dare you? That shit would stand up in court. Eddie Bravo, how dare you bring up shit that we were talking about off the air. Okay, I'm sorry. And start the fucking podcast off with that. It's my cousin anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning about off the air. Okay, I'm sorry. And start the fucking podcast off with that. It's my cousin anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in to the podcast. We are sponsored, as always, by The Fleshlight.

Go to fleshlight.com. If you go to joerogan.net and you click the link, this is a place where you can go to and you get 15% off. And what is the code that you have to put in? Rogan. Rogan. And this is a fat boy slim mix yes fat boy summer mix 2010 you know what i love that song that guy did that uh weapons of

destruction you know is that what it's called yes yeah the one with uh christopher uh no christopher walken did the video and he's dancing it's a fucking badass video dude all his videos are all his music's pretty good I really Never really got into him But that one really grabbed me Alright our guest As always My buddy Mr. Esty

Eddie Bravo Eddie Bravo Of 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu Of You can go to Twitter.com Slash Eddie Bravo

And Where else can I get your shit You still have a MySpace page up With all your music right Yeah But I think Two people Eventually man I'm like behind on Every fucking thing man Where else can they get your shit? You still have a MySpace page up with all your music, right? Yeah. You're going to move that to another site?

Eventually, man. I'm behind on every fucking thing, man. I got to put out the Mastering the Twister DVD. Dude, I'm so behind on everything. So musicians are still using MySpace. Some of them, right? Because it's convenient, right? Yeah, it's got that music player that you could see your views or your hits.

That's pretty important to music. That's super important. If you have thousands of hits on one of your songs, people are going to go, oh, shit. Let me check that out. If there's four hits, people are just going to bypass it. Right. And when you embed a video, you can't embed it with the number of hits in it. It can't show.

That must be something new. I don't know about that. No, no, no. I mean, if you embed like a YouTube clip, all you see is the window. You don't see how many videos or how many people have watched this video. No, but that would be a good feature, I think. But no one goes on MySpace anymore. You know, I'm always on my website, 10thplanetjj.com.

I'm on that motherfucker like Joe on Twitter and shit. All day. Okay, so if they want to see your music, though. My music, they can still go to myspace.com slash the twister. Those are all old videos and shit. They're like three or four years now. Old, but they're still badass. Brian Reichel, what are you doing over there, buddy?

Just fine-tweaking the audio. Fine-tweaking. Brian has become quite a podcast mogul. He's been broadcasting not just this podcast, but the Unfortunate Brody Stevens Project. Yeah, did you watch any of that? I watched a little bit of it. Keep it going and call it that.

The Unfortunate Brody Stevens Project. Call it that the unfortunate brody stevens project he looks like he's going crazy yeah then that way he's allowed to get crazy i just think i need a taser though you know i think if we do that i need a character you know he's in character just it's like i think it works great for stand-up comedy but i think for a podcast i don't know yeah it was hard because i felt bad the last episode he he brought his roommate on again and he screamed at his roommate the whole time to the point where his roommate i saw look like close to him and his cheek was twitching because he was so upset and then i went outside because i was freaking out i went outside and he comes running outside and goes

like in the middle of an interview he just took off and Brody was just left there on the couch going, ah, well, you know, I don't know what he was doing. But the guy's like, I can't take this anymore. I don't know what to do. I can't take this anymore. And like he was,

like he just got raped. That's what the conversation was. And that's when I came to the conclusion that what happened is, is that they act together, him, Brody, Stephen's and his roommate act together like if a couple were to break up and they had to live together for like three months

you know like that anger that anger I don't know man it freaked me out that's some real fucking anger too man you ever been around someone when they're breaking up but they still haven't moved out yet and then the chick starts seeing another dude then they have complications or the guy starts seeing another chick

fuck that shit no no no that would never happen I would never have complications or the guy starts seeing another chick. Woo. Fuck that shit. Yeah. No, no, no. That would never happen. I would never put myself through that. I mean, you'd have to be a brokester and understand or some kind of, I don't know what's going on with the lease or something. Maybe there's like a lease problem.

They're both on the lease. Some people just love drama. Fuck that. They can never figure it out. They can never figure out how to be cool to each other from the moment of the relationship. But just, it's an eventual explosion. It's like how how fucked up does it have to get before it all falls the only way i could understand a situation like that is girl breaks up with boy boy is begging for girl back girl goes you know what we're not getting back together but i'm fucking staying

here for two more months because i paid the rent and boy's like fuck it stay i it's like it's going to give him more time to maybe change your mind you know what i mean you know yeah yeah i could kind of see that when i broke up i lived with a chick a long time ago the first chick i ever lived with very nice girl but we were both kids you know i was 21 she was 20 we were both retarded right and uh when uh when i lived with her and we broke up there was a period of time like for like two weeks, we were still together. And she was still staying in my house, but we were not together anymore.

We had broken up. So she had started dating other dudes and I had started dating other chicks and she would be cool with it. And then she would tell me about dudes and I wouldn't get jealous, but I would tell her about a chick and she'd get mad at me. Within two weeks?

Oh, yeah. She's already telling you about new dudes? Yeah, we're 20 years old, man. 20 years old, you're retarded. You don't know what the fuck's going on. Were you in love with her? No. I mean, fuck that.

Probably not. No. No. No way. Definitely not, because I didn't freak out when she left. Although I did try to get her back, and I came off like a huge faggot. I don't know if you've ever done that before, when you get devastated by a chick, and then you try to figure out a way to bring her back.

It's almost like an ego thing, really. It's like the relationship is boring. Did she break up with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that hurts. Now, how long were you guys living together before? Not that long, man. It did not last very long.

It was a disaster. Six months? Maybe something like that. That's not even. You can get deep in six months. Yeah, maybe not even. I don't even think it was six months. She was a nice kid.

We were just young and stupid. But she started banging other dudes, and I started banging other chicks. And it was real weird because we were living together. And every now and then, like, she would get horny, and I'd fuck her anyway. It was very strange. It was like retard relationship shit, like the shit you do when you're 21. Usually, generally, when someone breaks up, the girl generally, for most people, the girl has so much more power than the guy. The girl can bang ten dudes that day they broke up.

Like the guy might not be able to get laid for a couple weeks. That's true. Right? He hasn't been in the game for a while. That's the reason why they're breaking up is because the guy found someone new already. That's true. That's true. Back in Boston, man, where I lived, it was way harder to meet people.

It's just not the same place, man. People are not nearly as friendly. It's not nearly as easy to go out and meet people in a bar or a club or whatever. It's a fucking grind. It's not easy. Yeah, and everyone's in jackets. You really don't know what the fuck you're getting. You don't know what you're getting, man. You get a look at girls'

jeans. How vacuum-sealed are these fucking things? Even at clubs. Even at clubs, you really can't tell. Some girls can cover their fucked-up shit with the dresses. You get them naked, you're like, whoa, fuck. Plus, they confuse you with glow sticks and shit.

You go out to a club, they got glow sticks, they got glue, they got fake eyelashes. You're drunk, it's dark, and they got so much fucking makeup on and they're covering their shit up strategically. They know how to cover them rolls up. How crazy is the idea of a nightclub? How crazy is the idea of a nightclub? You go to a place, it's a designated meeting area where everybody goes that supposedly is single and wants to fuck

it's like, can you get it? that's the big question can you meet somebody? are you compatible? do you get it? but we're going to provide you with music so you get to move around and grind against each other

we're going to give you drinks so you make shitty decisions we're going to set you up in a place where there's probably going to be people that are selling drugs if we're going to do something more fucked up it's all together in one big spot and we stay open until 2 o'clock in the morning.

That's one place I never pick up chicks at though. I never pick up chicks at the dance club because if I'm dancing, I'm acting a fool. I'm not taking it serious, breaking it down. You know what? I was totally the opposite. For me, I swear, when I was like 21, 22,

the way I would make moves on a chick yeah is i would find the best dancer and then dance with her and i always felt like i could just i could get them with the dancing do you watch do you watch glee did you like learn how to dance man i was dancing before my i could even walk my aunts would just hold me up because my aunt two aunts that were a couple years older than me and they would just hold me up and. We would be dancing like fucking fools all the time. Do you still dance once in a while? I went to school dances. I was always dancing.

Do you still dance once in a while? If I'm at a club and they're playing some good shit, some good Fittest Sant or something, some new Ludacris or something, I'll be dancing. It's got to be good, though. Oh, shit. Shut that shit off.

That's wake the fuck up. No, you that is that's an alarm call your business manager check on your funds like every day it goes off keep keep that shit going every day but i usually so it's like a wake-up reminder to you check your fucking money dude slow down what do you spend too much money i don't keep track of it yeah that's my problem now when i get a business manager i don't have to keep i'd like you know i always envied you man how many years do we know each other and you had a business manager and i had to handle all my shit do all my taxes you never worried about shit since i've known you you just have a credit card and you don't worry about shit i remember a couple times you told me go man i could have two million in the bank um all right i didn't want to disclose that okay okay so anyway do you like comic books have you did you grow up liking comic books

um no i never read comic books man man. I wasn't into it. I hated superheroes, man. I wasn't into them. I was Spider-Man for Halloween, and it's so weird playing the role of a superhero at a party. I went to this huge party, and I was dressed up as Spider-Man, and I realized when I had to walk around the party, I was walking around the party like I was Spider-Man.

I wasn't just stepping. I didn't do it on purpose. just what it was so i was i was really stoned in it i don't know but it was weird man so you're really stoned you you thought you were spider well i just caught myself walking different this is the same dude by the way that said that he doesn't like certain video games because now when he sees buildings he wants to jump from one building to the other because he's played this in games he actually thinks that he could go do that no no no you know what you're getting lost in the character which is totally cool man i was talking about uh i played so much of this particular video game in a short amount of time like like like all day long that it got to the point where i was driving and

i'm just like kind of space out and think oh look a building i could jump on there i could see you know what i mean yeah you're thinking you're thinking of retarded shit you never usually want to talk about, but you're thinking about that shit. Like, man, I'm actually thinking about the fucking video game. Jumping around. Just because you played it so much. How many hours straight do you play it? At that time, I played it for all day long. I'd wake up, play

it, go to bed. That's ridiculous. For a month, though. That was the only time I ever became addicted to it. People do that. My little nephew, that's his problem right now. They got to take away that fucking game controller because he plays all fucking days, fucking up his grades and all that shit. My sister's like,

we only let him have that video game on weekends. They take the controllers and they fucking hide them. He goes looking for it. He breaks into the fucking room. All they really need to do is have a video game controller dealer at school right you have your little plug-in how easy is that i'm real lucky that i didn't have video games when i was a kid i mean we had like stupid like the ones on tv that you'd play like uh i

forget what they were but they weren't you know i think mike tyson's punch out i think we had that i think that was like when i was around high school i had atari the old space invaders yeah that was it that was all i had that wasn't that addictive i mean it was okay but there's nothing like call of duty or dude it was amazing back then space invaders at your house it was amazing like fuck yeah but i'm talking about the sheer addiction value of it it's not even close to the video games today no these are people are having real problems with their kids starving. It's like a regular basis because they're not feeding their kids because they get lost in these

massive multiplayer world games. World of Warcraft games. It substitutes these people's lives. The Sims and Farmdale. A girl just beat her kid to death because the kid was crying and was interrupting her Farmville game. Yeah, it's's fucked up you know that new call of duty game that came

out last night modern ops or whatever i don't know what the name of it is i just saw that it's in 3d it's one of the first video games to like release to be made to be played on a 3d tv so you know that 3d we saw the other day at bis by holy shit imagine playing call of duty now dude i did not realize how badass 3D looks now with a movie that's animated for 3D and then you get one of those 3D glasses

and you watch it on the new 3D TVs. It's fucking incredible, man. It's just like, it's overwhelming. Like, you look at it and you're just going, whoa!

Isn't it weird that it's finally taking off? I mean, we had 3D back when I was 10. But it's not taking off. You know? It's not? The problem is it's a huge fucking trick back when I was 10. But it's not taking off. It's not. The problem is it's a huge fucking trick.

It came out almost a year ago. You know how many Blu-ray, DVD, 3D movies that they're out? It's like two, right? Two or three. I think the third one just came out the other day or something like that. But like HD, the same thing. There wasn't that many HD channels. Right.

But you stick around. There's no way 2D is going to fuck with 3D. 3D porn is going to take over. They're making all movies in 3D now. Are they shooting porn in 3D? Yeah, they've been doing it for a while. That's the only way to bring porn back. How are you going to do 3D?

You can't download 3D. And then ultimately you'll be able to download. It's going to make a big comeback. So should we invest in porn? Is that like a merchant market? It's got to be. That's actually smart. That doesn't make sense.

You can't download that shit. The bruises pop off the TV right into your living room. The bruises pop off the TV. You can smell the fuck. Dude, for sure, for sure, they're going to have loads coming at you. You're going to have to dodge them, dude. You know what I mean? Will you dodge them?

No, they're going to come right at the screen, and they're going to shoot to the girl's face, and she's going to be covered in loads. Ew. Yeah, you're going to see the loads coming from behind the camera or something, right? Imagine if it was so good, though, if you had a wall projection TV and the legs were just being wrapped around you.

It's really going to be gay porn that takes off from 3D because what could a girl do in 3D while she's having sex? Like, the titties coming at you? It looks better. It just looks better. The depth is way better. It's not just that you have like tricks. That was like old 3D.

Remember Jaws 3D? Yeah. There was only one thing that happened. The shark went through the glass. You're like, ah, he's coming. Absolutely. The rest of it was bunk. It was like tricks.

But now it's not tricks. It's like they're doing depth. Yeah. It's like what was the Monsters vs. Aliens? That was the animated show that we were watching that was in 3D? It was insane. It was so vivid, and there was the Monsters vs. Aliens? That was the animated show that we were watching that was in 3D? Yeah. It was insane. It was so vivid, and there was so much to it. It was like, the depth was like, it was like really shocking.

Yeah, and that's what it's going to be. Pretty soon it's going to be like where you look at your wall, and it's like you're looking into the next room. Yeah. That's what it's going to be. Like you're watching Seinfeld as if Seinfeld was in your house. Right, right. You know, that's what it's going to be.

I mean, it's got to. If it's gotten this far, I mean, what it looks like is pretty fucking incredible, man. Way better than the movies because movies are big. What happened? My shit went...

Bro, we lost one of the channels for the head. Oh, there it goes. It's back. What happened? All I'm saying is that you can get more creative with gay porn. You know, with loads. We're losing.

You got a bad connection on the headsets. All right, so anyways. We're losing it. You got a bad connection on the headsets. Alright, so anyways. It's in there. It looks way better than the movies because movie theaters it's like shitty resolution. It looks like grainy. It's better. Even if it's a giant screen

it's not nearly as good as a giant 55 inch plasma screen. The depth that you get when you look at a real good TV screen it's not nearly as good as like a giant like 55 inch plasma screen you know the depth that you get when you look at like a real good tv it's like the resolution's like way crisper did you see jackass in 3d no that was using old school 3d techniques like dildos coming towards your face kind so that wasn't using depth that was act they actually slowed down like things so you could see it come at you. That was the best movie for the 3D content.

It was awesome for 3D. All I kept thinking about is they're getting fucking some head trauma going on. They're really jacking their heads up. For sure, at least one of those dudes is going to have Lou Gehrig's

disease. After watching that show on um brain brain trauma that uh was it real sports yes it was yes are you more aware of that shit oh yeah the whole time i was watching jackass i'm like goddamn it's funny it's all fun and games right now you're making a lot of money but they're really fucking themselves up i mean i saw the saddest interview with michael uh not Muhammad Ali when he was Cassius Clay He was talking about retiring when he got to be a certain age because I don't want to be one of them fighters It's old and been hitting ahead too many times. It's talking. Duh, duh, duh, duh Whoa, whoa. Yeah. Whoa indeed. It was like it was so creepy to listen to that

Like you you're the king of der der der. You're the guy. I mean, if you talk about anybody where anybody looks towards someone getting damaged, you know, from fighting and it being a sad case, he's the one. And there's a lot of people that are trying to say that he has Parkinson's and it's not related. The fuck it's not related. That's, that's a bullshit politically correct argument. Yeah. He's got Parkinson's. What does that mean? It means his fucking brain is falling apart. And why do you think he has it? You don't think that has to do with the fact that he got battered in the brain for like decades? You don't think that has something to do with that? That's crazy.

They had this thing on 48 Hours with Jerry Corey. Jerry Corey was like this great white hope from the 1970s. And they followed this dude around. And he was like 53 years old when he died. And they followed him around when he was 50. And he was gone. Gone. There was was gone. Gone. There was nothing there.

He had no idea what was going on. Didn't know how to write his name. His brother had to help him write his name. So he had Lou Gehrig's disease. He had everything. He had Pugilistica dementia. That's what they call it. That's what they were calling it. As far as is it Lou Gehrig's disease?

Lou Gehrig's disease is the same thing that Stephen Hawking's has. It's your body loses its ability to move itself. There's a bunch of different things. I mean, Muhammad Ali has Parkinson's. This guy had pugilistic dementia, which is just dementia brought on by being punched. The whole deal is, you know,

it's scary because we see it all the time, man. We see guys getting jacked in the head all the time. It's a big part of what we do. It's real shit. Yeah. So much fun to watch, though. Thank God there's dudes willing to put their brains

on the line for our entertainment. Well, it's just they got to know when to stop. That's the thing. I mean, you can do it a few times. You can even get shut off a couple of times,

but you got to know when to stop. And everybody's when is different, and everybody's when is different, and that's when it gets tricky, you know, no one can tell you, remember Alistair Overeem, when he was getting knocked out all the time, Alistair Overeem was getting, like, jacked over and over again, Sergey Karatov jacked him, Chuck Liddell jacked him, a lot of guys stopped him, I think he's been stopped, like, seven or eight times, at least six, so, I mean, he had been beaten up a bunch of times, both in kickboxing and in, you know, in MMA.

But then all of a sudden, he makes this fucking tremendous comeback, and now he's one of the best fighters in the world. So it's like, you can't never say that a dude's done. Because he made a sick comeback, and then made a sick comeback in striking, in K-1. You know, the fact that he was able to have that kind of success in just straight striking,

I mean, that's pretty goddamn impressive. So you can't tell a guy to stop because I would have told Alistair Overeem to stop. You know, who the fuck do you, when do you draw the line? Is it five KOs? Is it four KOs? You know, I think Peter Ertz has been stopped some crazy amount of times, like 14 times over the course of his career, just something nutty like that. Damn! Think about that, huh? Yeah. What if they that huh yeah what if they find out what if

they find because jiu-jitsu is fairly new what if they find out that you know if you get choked out like unconscious like from a rear naked choke or a darsh or something like 20 25 times that you're you're susceptible to get lewd garrick's disease just from getting turned you know but just getting shut off like that yeah Yeah. Who knows? Well, I would say that they know that you can be deprived of blood to the brain for a certain amount of time before there's damage set in. But how do they know that?

I mean, they know that people have gotten damaged because they had blood shut off to their brain for X amount of seconds or X, or is it a minute? I mean, how long, what is the amount of time where you start getting brain damage? Remember when we talked about this once

where you're saying, like if you really hated somebody, you'd choke them out, but not to kill them, just hold on for 90 seconds and make them retarded? Yeah, that's a character I wanted to develop, man.

A guy who's like, he's like a Dexter, you know? He just kills people, but he doesn't kill them. He just chokes them out just for 58 seconds just to turn them into a vegetable. So he doesn't go down for He just chokes him out just for 58 seconds just to turn him into a vegetable So he doesn't he doesn't go down for murder. No one knows how this person became a vegetable

They just you know make it a romantic comedy Conflict is three chokes a girl. It becomes a love. He does it for money. He's just like the secret assassin He's not killing anybody. He's just turning your enemies into like you Pam and then one guy He didn't choke long enough and the guy can kind of talk and he's trying to bust them out so he has to figure out how to fucking get near him again to choke him out the guy's like he's like pointing out he's like i gotta put this motherfucker in an arm triangle one more time but um but um did you so that missile thing, a lot of people don't know this,

but there was a missile that was fired last night off of the coast of California, like Malibu area. I heard it on Carson's radio show this morning, and he said that's where he lives. He didn't see anything. Who's radio show? Carson Daly. Carson Daly has a radio show?

Yeah, on KROQ, I think. He does? Yeah, in the morning. KROQ is Kevin and Bean. is he on after it maybe okay maybe after uh but he he uh he was saying that he didn't see anything so he had all these callers call in and then it was like two hours later everyone said they saw something but not with the time that everyone else is saying so well they have pictures of it yeah it is is that something happened yeah there was one before that happened i remember i was driving i was in hollywood and um the sky was like it was just turning dusk

you know so it was kind of like half dark half light and they launched a rocket and you could really see whatever this thing was this missile you could really see like the contrail behind it and everything it was pretty dramatic you know and then they had a you know tell people that they do these things at night and that this one uh was uh you know was from at edwards air force base i guess and they shot it at night but it was just not dark enough they miscalculated the time so people get to see it so it's like what do you mean they just shoot shit up in the air did they do this all the time yeah my friend that's in the navy says they shoot missiles all the time where do they go i I don't know.

They probably aim them to the water. They just shoot dead missiles. Imagine if you were in a fucking rowboat and nobody knew you were out there and you got hit in the head by a missile. Just a random. I mean, people have been shot. They've been shot by people shooting up in the air. The bullet goes up in the air and then lands on people. That's happened a bunch of times.

Could you imagine if you got hit in the head by a fucking missile when you're fishing? I wonder what Alex Jones is saying about this missile thing or if he even knows about it. What would he say? How would he say? Basically, the New World Order, the elites. I'll move you. I've got to move my phone. The New World Order, the elites.

I don't know. What the fuck would he say? He would say something stupid. It was Obama. Yeah, he would say something about life extension. We had a crazy experience in Texas with Alex Jones with Joey Diaz. What happened? What did I miss?

Joey Diaz lit the Alex Jones show on fire. He went off. Alex Jones fucked up, and this is where he fucked up. He had Joey come on, and it was his idea to bring Joey into the room. He's talking to me about, what about chemtrails? What about what's going on with the environment? What's going on? What about they're going to kill the dollar? he's got all this uh stuff that he's bringing

up with me and then uh joey's outside and we're just talking kind of like straight real conspiracy theory alex jones style but he brings joey in and we we were at the end of the show so he goes well we're gonna go into overdrive right now and we're going to overdrive super secret overdrive uh it's a lot on the internet, but you can swear. It's all right. It's not FCC, but try not to swear. So he fucked up. He gave the green light to Joey.

He let Joey know that Joey can just go off. And so Joey starts going off. First of all, he's going off about Cuba, about how this is a free country. Well, when it really went awry was when he started talking about smuggling drugs. He goes, I got here on the plane. I had the sack under my ball sack. I put the sack of weed under my – I was stinking like a motherfucker. And he's going, no, no.

Alex Jones is going, no, you didn't. He goes, no, I did. It was under my left ball. My left ball is bigger than my right ball because I'm right-handed. I thought I had cancer for a while. And he just goes deep Joey Diaz. And as Alex Jones is going, whoa, no, no, that didn't happen.

No, he goes, it did happen, cocksucker. Obama, freedom of speech. So he's going fucking crazy. And Alex Jones can't figure out what to do. And I'm laughing my balls off. So as I'm laughing, you know Joey. If he's got an audience and that audience is laughing, Joey knows how to finish the deal. It rages.

It rages. He gets red. He starts getting sweaty. He knows how to finish the deal. So he's going off about how stinky this weed is under his ball sack and then he'd go through the x-ray machine and he thought he was going to have to get arrested. And then the more Alex Jones protests, the crazier it got.

So Joey finally, you know, Joey stands up. He always likes to stand up when he's going to end something and walk away. He's in a fury, a frenzy. He goes, Joe Diaz, Facebook, Twitter. He stands up and he goes, check yourself before you wreck yourself. Big dicks in your ass is bad for your health. Stay black because that's the most important thing. Stay black.

And the whole time he's screaming into the microphone to make it worse. He's like, take this. He's grabbing the microphone with his big paws and screaming into it. The best part is when he first walked into it, Alex Jones' studio is set up where the camera is facing him directly. And Joey just stands right in front of it and leans down on one knee right in front of the camera. So if you look at the video, if you can find the video anywhere,

it's just Alex and then this big head blocking his view. And then it's the cameraman all scrambling for new shots. And it's all like Joey Diaz's head covering everyone's faces. Joey Diaz. It's so funny. He's a fucking national treasure, man. You realize moments like this. I mean, I'm giving it no justice here describing it.

I'm trying to describe it right. You've got to see it. We're going to have it up in a video. I mean, it's available online online you can see the whole thing but we'll we're going to edit it and put together the right parts and a whole video of the whole austin trip because austin was and always is the shit every time i go there to film it seems like magic happens that is one of the best cities in the fucking state or one of the best cities in the world man it really is because it's well it is one of the best cities in the state it's also one of the best cities in the world, man. It really is. Well, it is one of the best cities in the state.

It's also one of the best cities in the country. And if this is the best country in the world, then that's one of the best cities in the world. I just fucked that whole thing up. Dude, not only is the food amazing, everywhere you go, the food is fucking amazing. Everywhere you go, the women are beautiful and awesome and nice and love to party and hang out. People are friendly there, man. It's a friendly place. There's a few spots like that in this country, man,

where people are friendlier. That's one of the best ones. Austin, Texas is one of the best ones. Great music. One of the smartest ones, too. There's just so many smart, cool, interesting people there. It's a fun fucking place to do. Worst highways ever. The GPS just queefs

when it tries to find the exit. For some reason, they decided instead of making their highways wider, they decided to stack them on top of each other. Yeah. The logic behind it

is so strange. And if you miss an exit, it's so impossible. You have to round about it. You're fucked. You're fucked because almost every exit becomes a new highway

in another direction. You're like, where's this one going? Yeah. It's death. It's death. If you miss a spot, you're fucked. You're fucked because almost every exit becomes a new highway in another direction. You're like, where's this one going? It's death. It's death. If you miss a spot, you're fucked. Yeah. But other than that, it's the shit.

Jessica Hall was here. The first clip that we got that was classic from Austin was the clam thing with Ari. They painted that whole green room, too. Yeah. They redid that whole place. That was sad. The green room in the Austin Cap City Comedy Club used to be covered with graffiti, and now it's just all painted.

Yeah, and it was like famous comics. Some comics are dead. Yeah. Yeah, I think Mitch Hedberg was on there and stuff, and they just decided to paint this green over it. Yeah, I asked him, what happened? Burger King buy you guys out? What the fuck is this?

Yeah, it felt like Ikea or something like that. Why would they do that? I don't know. That was the biggest fail ever. Somebody should take a picture of that green room and just call it fail. Well, someone should do is find photos of it all online and make wallpaper of it and then glue it back on the exact spot. I have a lot of the... I've taken most of it. What you should do is

enlarge everything up high resolution with some fucking Gene Hackman movie type technology where they can take a big picture and actually make it look good. Yeah. Maybe we'll wait until it's LCD wallpaper and I'll just email them the photos. No, you're talking, bitch. Yeah, how could they do that, man? That place in the Atlanta Punchline, that's another one.

The Atlanta Punchline, the green room is just covered with... One of my favorite ones is Stop Trying to Be Hicks. Somebody had that as their avatar photo on the Rogan board for a while. The best one was in the Austin one. It was always my favorite ones is stop trying to be hicks somebody had that as their avatar photo on the rogan board for a while the best one was in the austin one was always my favorite and that's one thing i always think it's a pee on the toilet seat maybe it will keep women out of comedy no keep the toilet seat up oh maybe it'll keep women out of comedy i always take my own life dude i'm not a person that lifts my the toilet seat and pees I'm one of those guys Pee through it?

I pee through it because I grew up with my mom and my sister And I just wash it every time What? You piss all over the toilet seat and then just wash it? No, my aim is amazing But once in a while, you get that one little teeny drop So once in a while, someone has to sit in your piss? No, because then I always clean it with water and toilet paper What about soap?

Yeah, was that enough? If someone pissed on your fork and then cleaned it with water and toilet paper, would you eat it off of it? Joe, you drink pee. I don't think I have to worry about your little butt having a little drop of pee on it. It's his pee. I don't do it every day, and it's not mine. It's his pee.

There's a big difference between if I said, you know, if I drank pee for a stunt on a radio show or if I pissed in your mouth. These are two totally different things. Well, it's like the old thing. Like we used to always talk about, do you stand wiping up or do you sit down and go through the legs? Me and Joe are both standers. Are you a stander? Fuck yeah, I stand.

Yeah, see. You got to get in there. I wipe and then I jump in the shower. I just wipe once. You shower every time? Every time. Wow. You shower every time you shit?

Unless I'm like at a public restroom, but my shit's consistent in the morning. When I wake up at 10 o'clock, I'm ready to go. I have a bidet. I never even use that thing. You have a bidet? Oh, Chris from Fleshlight. Did he tell you about the bidet? He has a bidet that has a laser that finds your asshole, then shoots water at your asshole

the same temperature of your skin, and then it comes out with another laser that shoots and finds the hair dryer, and it dries your asshole yeah it's some well i heard about it in japan they have these they're toilet seats it's not a bidet it's actually a whole system yeah maurice smith maurice called me up and maurice smith i called him joseph this is a great business opportunity okay listen to this he starts telling me about toilet seats i tell you what it's not a bad idea because that's one technology that has not changed since me, I was a kid, you were a kid.

It's the same. Wow, you got cushion. That's it? Why aren't we... They perfected that shit. Yeah, but no one's gonna buy them. It's hard to get people... If it was $300, I would buy it. $300? Yes. It's probably a lot more than that, though. It probably really is. Man, it lasers

your asshole that shit's gotta cost like $7,000 like sheiks and shit probably use that it blow dries you if it was $500 installed I would buy it $500 you would

the ones that are $500 are gonna miss your asshole they're gonna hurt they're gonna hurt your butt it's gonna be pounding in there. It's going to splatter all this shit around your balls. Throw some heat warmers on that. I would do $600. They have warmers too.

That's the other thing. They're heated. They're heated seat. So you sit down. It's all warm and comfy. Put Bluetooth on it. $700. Bluetooth?

So you can get calls from there? Yeah, a call from your toilet. Can you imagine having speakers behind you? Like really nice Bose speakers. You're just sitting there talking. But then they hear the echo and they get mad at you. Are you imagine it had speakers behind you? Like really nice Bose speakers. You're just sitting there talking while... But then they hear the echo and they get mad at you. Are you shitting and talking to me? I told you to disconnect the Bluetooth on the toilet.

It'll have like a jawbone. It'll have a second microphone that's like outside and it'll mix the two. You ever talk to somebody that gets upset at you when you're talking to them when you're taking a shit? No, I never... They never figure it out. I've told people before and they get upset. I've told people, are you peeing? I'm like, yeah, I'm peeing.

Is that okay? I can hear you. Are we pretending we don't pee? Peeing ain't a big deal, but if you're on the phone and you shit and your ass explodes like one of those nuclear shits, you know what I mean? Where you got to wipe, you got to clean the toilet. There's only a few people I can do that with. You don't usually want to do that when someone's on the phone.

Unless it's your buddy. But if it's like a girl or something. Right, not for a business meeting. Yeah. I have FaceTime with Ari when I'm shitting. Sometimes I fart when I'm on the phone

and I'm like, ooh, I hope they didn't hear that one. I got to pull a butt apart. There was one time when Ari called me by FaceTime and he was shitting. So I was like, you know what?

I have to poop too. Let's do this. FaceTime double shit. I haven't used the FaceTime yet. Do you guys like it? Oh, it's great. Now they have a beta on your Mac so you can FaceTime from a computer to iPhone. So if somebody's at home, you'd be like, jump on your computer, you know?

Whoa. So now you can FaceTime between those two devices. When is that really necessary? It's like your girlfriend and she's like on the other side of the world or something. Well, yeah. You know, we're all on the road. We're that's about it is that yeah like your buddies dude dude get on facetime bro he's gonna fucking do that well we talked about this before that eventually we're gonna have little cameras in front of us on like fishing poles you know that are hanging from

our house it's probably gonna be just nothing like fishing poles it's probably gonna be like hovering yeah it'll be floating with you right right? It'll be a proximity droid. We're going to miss the best technology with the oldest technology. Yeah, I don't feel like fishing poles. You don't feel the need for it, but I mean, that's what I used to say about text messages. Remember I used to joke about it takes you four presses to get an S? That was like a part of my act. Yeah, totally.

The whole thing about Nextel, they don't, the whole thing about Nextel, Nextel, they don't have walkie-talkies anymore, do they? They still do that? Yeah, I think they all do. In Brazil, Nextel is like fucking Burger King now, dude. They run shit. They failed in the States. They said, fuck it, we still got Brazil.

What? Brazil? Dude, Nextel is huge in Brazil. Really? Yep. They love the walkie-talkie feature. It's on Verizon, too. It's on all of them. You know,el is huge in Brazil. Really? Yep. They love the walkie-talkie feature. It's on Verizon, too. It's on all of them.

You know, there's a funny story. There was this dude in front of Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, and he was on a speakerphone, and he was talking by himself. He was just standing there by himself on a speakerphone talking, and talking out loud, and you could hear his conversation. And so I Twittered. I said, what is it about black dudes that like to talk on the speakerphones when they're by themselves?

Like, what is the deal with that? And all these fucking people got mad at me. A lot of black people got mad at me. Yo, that's dickish. That was dickish. I go, what the, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't say shit about you. Okay. I said, what is it with all these black people that like to talk on speaker phones? Just because you're black. And if you're doing that, I'm not dickish. Iish i'm just observing what is that that's a weird thing that i don't see that many white people doing but i see a lot of black people doing and it's not a negative thing like what there's a lot of fucking douchey things that white people do too but i'm not being racist here i'm observing something are you saying that i'm not allowed to observe because you share the same

melanin content as this person i'm observing and even though you're not even doing the same things they're doing that's fucking ridiculous we're we're real close with racism in this country man we're real close to being ridiculous yeah well it is ridiculous the whole thing is ridiculous you know like with especially like uh the whole uh anger between you know like feeling like you have to fight somebody because of their race you know like there's people like beating up different races just because of what race they are. Well, yeah, there's that. I mean, that's legit racism. But what I'm talking about is the opposite.

I'm talking about people looking to point the finger at racism when you're really just acknowledging something that's a fact. I'm just seeing something. The fact that I said that they happen to be black. Yeah, well, they do happen to be black. So why do they do this? Why do these brothers be doing that? I don't know. They just do it. I don't know why they do it but you didn't get

an answer no no one has an answer no but most people were saying they're attention whores you know and that's what you know i guess one of the reasons why people were getting mad at me is i was saying that black people are attention whores which is not what i'm saying i'm saying i see a lot of black people that like to talk on their speakerphone when they're by themselves i don't see white people doing it doesn't mean they're not doing it but i'm asking it's like something i see and might not allow it to see things because people are black like that's a tricky fucking road to walk down that's nonsense you know what maybe it's because they don't want to get brain cancer and they're just you know more concerned about it than white people dude i know

somebody that does that though i know somebody that only talks using the speakerphone function for some reason. Yeah, but not in public, outside. No, they do it at Olive Garden. Who is it? Are they white? Esther does that? Oh. She's black.

Oh. Or at least she likes black dick, for sure. Why does she do that? I have no idea. I have no idea. She records every single phone call between her and her parents too Because it's

Her parents are so ridiculous But she's just really weird With her phone And phone calls That's funny man Sorry about that I think it's cool I think it's cool

Do you really? No Just trying to help you out Yeah It's a tricky thing man There's There was a white girl At the airport

Who was talking her ass off, like just really fucking loud, waiting to get on a plane, and it was kind of annoying. It's fucking annoying as shit, man. You can have a normal conversation. Just put that fucking thing up to your ear and talk normally. Yeah, I usually cover my mouth with my hand. I don't want people listening to my shit.

There's a big difference between someone sitting there going, Hey, yeah, what's up? What's going on? How you doing? And someone going, Yo, what's up? What's going on? What are you doing? Okay. And then what happens? And then the other person,

I'm thinking we're going to come down there. All right, cool, cool. Why do I have to listen to your shit, man? This is loud. Maybe she just does it around me. Now I'm kind of paranoid that I said that. You know? Because I'm like, wait. You think she does it by herself? Maybe, I don't know. She only does it, she does it around me

a lot. Maybe it's a security thing where she wants to do, like, hey, I'm talking to this person. A guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not hiding. Maybe it's just around me.

Yeah, maybe that's, wow, she's being respectful. I hope you don't fucking start a trend. She's being respectful. Yeah, but I should start doing it around her, I guess. There's a, yeah, it can't be that, though. It can't be that.

Because if it was, no way. We got a tricky thing in this world about people being too fucking sensitive. There's a lot of too fucking sensitive people that can't take a because there's no way. We've got a tricky thing in this world about people being too fucking sensitive. There's a lot of too fucking sensitive people that can't take a joke or even take a conversation. How about this? Michelle Obama, Obama's wife, is apparently the center of controversy because she shook a dude's hand. She's in Indonesia, and there's a Muslim dude there.

And they were saying hello, you know, they're meeting some dignitaries, and she shook his hand. It's like all over the news. That's so retarded. All over the news. Oh, wow. She was being nice to somebody. The Jesus people? Oh, yeah, the Muslims.

They're losing their fucking marbles. I can't wait to see this. Oh, the Muslims are losing their marbles. Yes, very upset. I think I pulled it up. But anyway, the fucking story is, it's very simple. Here it is. Michelle Obama shakes hands with Indonesian information minister.

Whoa, try saying this dude's name. Durka Durka? Tiffatu Semburing, as Obama arrived in Jakarta in Indonesia. Apparently a conservative Muslim minister in Indonesia who is being criticized for shaking hands with Michelle Obama, thus violating his pious claim that he avoids contact with women not related to him. As, you know, as you're supposed to do in some

sex of Islam. What the fuck, man? 2010, dude. This is in the news. Some woman shook a dude's hand. You know, what the fuck, man? He just wanted to touch, get something that's touched obama's dick you think so yeah he wanted a connection like a kevin bacon connection to obama's dick that is what you get if you shake her hand right yeah you get it all away we get it all

you get the whole package what would you what if she became president one day michelle obama that would be fucking awesome. Get a chick in there, and she's black. That's beautiful. That is beautiful. If she could be running shit, if she was an exceptional person to run shit, I'd be down. You know, the thing about chicks running shit is they have to be really good at running shit. They can't just be hot.

That's the problem with this fucking Sarah Palin thing. There's all these faggots out there that think that she's good enough to be president because they want to fuck her. I was talking about this on stage. They think that life is like a fucking Kevin Bacon movie where you're the last vote that counts. And then she finds out that you're the one who got her elected president, so she comes to meet you in an unlikely romance blossoms. There's a lot of idiots that are willing to vote for Palin because they really do think she's hot. But, I mean, look, if you can get some genius, brilliant woman to be running shit, I'd be just as down with that. But a dumb bitch? No. No.

She's never going to become president. No, Palin? No. Well, you know what? I wouldn't say never, dude, because I would have never believed she would have the following that she has. But everyone knows, everyone that has had a TV for the last year and a half, two years, have seen every single skit with her. And even if you like her, you have that in the back of your mind. Only you

do. You're not retarded. See, dude, 50 plus percent of this country is almost retarded. There's a giant number of people that are so fucking dumb that there could be some other issue. Look, how about this Jan Brewer chick? Do you know who she is? She's the woman who was

made governor of Arizona because the original governor left and went to, what is her name? I forget. Went to the Obama campaign. Anyway, the point is this Jan Brewer woman is nuts. She's nuts and old and can't fucking talk and she goes on these debates and she

paused. She went on a debate. She's debating with this other guy who's running for governor. She paused for 10 seconds. Said nothing. Just was stammering and not knowing what to do and moving her hands and shit. She had a full brain lock. This bitch lied about there being dead bodies on the Mexican border with their heads chopped off. And then everybody went, well, where are the bodies?

Where's the autopsy reports? Where's the police reports? And it turns out it was all just horseshit. She lied about her fucking father dying in World War II. Wow. She said, my father died defending... No, she didn't. He didn't die in World War II. She made it up. He died during World War II.

No, he didn't even. He's still alive. That was the guy who was alive. Oh, he's still alive? Yes. Maybe his soul got... A piece of his soul died during World War II. She's just a dumb cunt. More likely. That's awesome. Now, she won. And you know why she won? Because she supports this crazy new immigration law.

She wants to keep all the Mexicans out of Arizona. Hey, that's where I draw the line. And most of Arizona is white people. Most of Arizona is crazy old white people. And they're like, you know. Fuck that, man. Arizona is a nutty place, man. We have a good time there because people like to party.

And, you know, the shows are always fun there. People are always looking for fun stuff to do. But if you look at Arizona as a state, it's kind of a wonky fucking state, man. Totally. You're allowed to just have guns there, dude. You could just be walking around with a gun in your pocket. You have to with all the Mexicans. They got guns.

Ladies and gentlemen, Eddie Bravo is Mexican. So before you start fucking firing up your pen and getting crazy with your hate mail and firing up your Twitter account. Yes, it's totally okay. I could fucking make fun of burritos all day. Do you have anybody that you're following on Twitter that you're following just because they're dumb? That you can talk about? No, not that I could tell. Oh, well, you know.

No. Yeah, you gotta be nice, right? No. Shit. No. Yeah. I like ridiculously dumb tweets or funny tweets. The in-between shit, I'm not into.

When dudes just tweet motivational shit that they've heard, like, come on, man. Enough of that shit. I love motivational ones. I love dudes who are like older who give advice like steve harvey is my current favorite check this shit out there's a tweet i save him i save his tweets your relationship with a man is either off or on it cannot be off and on ladies you have the power stop allowing the back and forth. Damn, he's like a black Dr. Phil.

Well, first of all, how do you know that the chick isn't just looking to get some dick, all right? Yeah, it's off and on. People are crazy, man, and they can always work out. It's a trick. He's trying to get bitches.

He's trying to get them to like him. Appear sensitive, right? Is that what it is? Totally. Here's another one. Good morning. God will perform the unexpected time and time again if you just let him. Talk to God.

Don't be too proud to pray. How many followers does he have? I prayed right after I heard that. How many followers does he have? I don't know. He's got a lot. Steve Harvey's a famous guy. I bet he's got a hundred thousand.

Probably something like that. Yeah. I just hit 200,000. Bam, son. That's incredible. Congratulations. I bet he's got 100,000. Probably something like that. Yeah. I just hit 200,000. Bam, son. That's incredible. Congratulations. Thank you very much. That's pretty cool.

That's something to me. How many a day do you get normally like at Adders? A few hundred. A few hundred? Yeah. I like how it continues

once you get to a certain point you notice that you get an average of like a certain amount per day. I only have 16,000. I treat it like, you know,

I treat it like a little platform. Like it like a like a little like a little platform like a little like a little comedy it's your farmville world you know i mean there's a lot of times where i get on there and i just promote gigs or a lot of times i find like cool shit that i find online like that um uh italian song where that american guy or that italian guy was speaking he was singing in an american accent like what what it was like gibberish it wasn't real American words. Sim talk.

But what he thought, can you find that? Here, this is what it is. I would love to hear that. Someone making fun of an American accent but not really using words? It's really interesting. Yeah, it's really interesting. And it's kind of a cool song. And if you see the video.

But I'll tweet shit like that or science tweets. I was going to tweet something today. They fired up the Large Hadron Collider and made thousands of little big bangs. They've started doing that, man. That's become a reality. They're really doing it now. Nice. So they have all these photos at the CERN lab.

It's fascinating, fascinating fucking shit, man. Yeah. But so there's that I do. And then also, I treat it like it's a little audience. I think you've got to give people things, man. When you're looking to promote gigs and use the internet and shit like this, you can't just promote. You've got to give them some shit, too.

It's like the other day I was watching Ancient Aliens. I spent like a whole hour just tweeting, talking shit on Ancient Aliens. That shit was so bad. Well, the first season was incredible. The first season's awesome. They ran out of shit to talk about. They're trying to, you know. It was crazy all

the shit they were saying but if you look at it this way if you're if you don't believe in ufos then that sounds ridiculous but if you do believe if you like watch the disclosure project and you listen to all the phil philip corso's testimony the guy used to work for the we used to be in the pentagon and fucking head of nuclear energy in Europe and all that shit, when you hear his confessions and like the deathbed confession of General Ramey and just, if you believe in UFOs,

then fucking anything is possible. Then that means they must have been here several times at least and if they were around during the Greek time, they must have tripped out on them. That must have been big news, like these motherfuckers. And they must have, like,

drew about it, painted about it, talked about it, wrote some scripture about it or something. It's not that far-fetched, but they were coming to some ridiculous conclusions, like about the paintings in India that maybe this was an alien.

Well, the Mahabharata, that's a fascinating text, the ancient text of ancient Hinduism, is riddled with stories of flying things and things that flew through the air. But you also have to realize that these people took a lot of drugs. These people were into heavy psychedelic drugs. I mean, mana in the ancient Hindu texts, they believe it's some sort of a combination

of psilocybin, mushrooms, and a bunch of other different things. There's a bunch of debate about what mana is, but it's very clear that they were referencing something that connected them to the psychedelic world. And if it was something that connected them to the psychedelic world, you know, and I know,

you're going to see some shit.ic world you know and i know you're gonna see some shit it doesn't mean that the shit you're seeing is not real you know when you see the like when people think of hallucinations like you think of oh you took a drug and you saw a monkey that wasn't really there and he you know you know you think of something fake but what you see a lot of times when you take psychedelics drugs, it's not like the rest of the world and then all of a sudden some new fake thing shows up. It shows you like a whole new world. It shows you like a whole hallucination world, which may or may not be real. You know, what might be happening when you take like big doses of any crazy drug is you might be tuning into the next door neighbor channel.

You know, there might be the whole world might be a fucking radio of a million different channels and we might be on, you know, 106.4 and there's a 106.5 and it's right next door and when you take mushrooms, you go there, you know. So, you know, these guys saying that they, you know, saw these flying things and talking about all these majestic beings with all this wisdom, that very easily could have been drugs. Very easily. Yeah, it could be both. I mean, just because you have a psychedelic experience

doesn't mean that... I'm very... I don't know how much I believe, very skeptical about crafts from another planet that come here that are metal and the traditional idea of just doing a super advanced version of what we already do. I look at that and I go, I don't think so. This just seems too silly.

It seems too mechanical. A lot of testimony, dude. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. There's a lot of testimony of people being raped by demons. You can go back in time and find thousands of people who have been exercised. Yeah, but these people aren't organizing and getting in front of the Washington, D.C., and the national press. And they don't have credible witnesses, like hundreds of them, and Philip Corso, and all these guys. And they're deathbed.

You watch the testimonies. Do you think these guys are lying? That's true, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they are telling the truth. It might mean they're wrong. It might mean that there's some crazy government experiments that they're not aware of. For sure. I believe in that. I believe there's definitely a lot of this shit, maybe most of this shit that people see and report,

are our own government making shit. But if you listen to Philip Corso's testimony, he's saying, yes, a lot of that shit is our shit. Did Philip Corso say that he saw things himself personally? Yes, he did. What did he say he saw? Philip Corso was... He was part of Roswell, right? He wasn't at Roswell, but he was involved in the shipping of stuff.

He said he saw the bodies. He said that he was in charge... Physically saw them or saw the coffins? No, no, he saw that. He said he opened the coffin, saw them, and said, oh, shit. He saw that. He said he opened the coffin, saw him, and said, oh, shit. And he knew so much that he was in charge of taking crashed UFO shit and taking it to, this is what he said, taking it to, like, Hughes Aircraft and McDonnell Douglas, getting reverse engineering. Well, the fascinating story about Roswell, and everybody thinks that Roswell is a silly, stupid story, and no one knows exactly what happened.

It could have been some sort of a Soviet craft that crashed. But the fascinating part is that they flew the wreckage in two separate planes because they wanted to make sure if one plane crashed, they had a good chance that the other plane would make it to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. They made sure they separated the wreckage. There's just so much evidence. Even today with the Shanghai airport or an airport in China

closed down twice within a few months because there was some shit right over the airport. They didn't know what it was. They shut everything down. I mean, just shit like that all over the world. I mean, there's so, there's actually is evidence. I mean, people are put away for life with no video, no pictures of the crime just testimony man they're just listening to testimony and putting people away for multiple life sentences when you put all the evidence together just look up philip corso with a c what there's hours and hours of him just talking about he wrote a book about it before he was he was the old motherfucker he was on dateline and shit i think an even more compelling one is Dr. J. Allen Hynek.

Exactly. Who was working on Project Blue Book, and he was assigned to discredit UFO stories. What his job was, as he explained it was, when he would hear about something, he would come up with a reason that it was something else. Swamp gas. Yeah, swamp gas, circular ball lightning, all this different shit.

He was hired for that by the government like in the 50s and 60s. And then when Project Blue Book shut down, he dedicated his entire life to investigating UFOs and enlightening people on it.

Totally. And he talks about it. I mean, there's interviews where he's like, I was... And then there's like a new theory now. The new theory

is that the government wants everyone to believe in UFOs to keep their projects under wrap, like their black projects under wrap. I'm like, what was this Project Blue Book and all this stuff where they were saying that it was swamp gas, that we're trying to calm everybody down. Why were they lying? I mean, they would have just said, yeah, you know what? We don't know what it is. It's probably from another galaxy, but we don't know, but we assure you we're going to do whatever it takes to protect you.

If they really wanted people to believe in the UFOs, they'd be saying that shit, not covering it up. So, I mean, if you look up, look at the Philip Corso testimony, look at,

look up the disclosure project. There's already been at least two of them. I mean, these, there's so much credible and like, like the top scientists of Europe all got together. I forget what the committee's called,

like international groups. They came together in France, and they looked at all the UFO testimony and all the shit, and they said 15%, it's probably beings from another galaxy or another solar system. That's what they said.

All of them could have been explained away But the 15% They said Hmm This is Probably That's a weird conclusion though Why would they not conclude That it was something from this earth

That we haven't discovered yet Especially when you look at the ocean Well this is That's what they concluded They concluded that All the other shit 85% of all the shit they looked That could be

That could be man-made. That could be this. This is probably some reflection off the sun. 15%, they said, it's most likely because based on the pictures and the way they... They got some shit from satellite pictures of craft coming from the top down that they couldn't explain. They're like, man, what the fuck? Moving. There's so much shit.

I've seen some weird shit of things moving and then changing angles and changing direction and moving another way. The big incident that happened at the US military installation in the UK, when there's 80 motherfuckers that saw this aircraft, three of them came up to it as it was parked. They touched it.

They took notes. They're on the disclosure property. Three of them went up to it and 80 was parked. They touched it. They took notes. They're on the disclosure project. Three of them went up to it, and 80 of them were all around going, holy shit. But that's possible that it was a drone. That's possible that it was something from America. And when they said it took off, it disappeared. It was gone. Well, I mean, if you have a drone, I mean, especially if we're talking about different alternative sources of power, we don't know exactly what they're talking about.

None of those motherfuckers. And it came back they sent a guy to look into it and that guy's in the disclosure project too like two days later they sent the guy to calm everyone down yeah and they came back and they saw it and these guys are all the and the the when the military the uk um embassy the the ministry of defense they're there when when they came up to him and asked him, what are we going to do about this? What was that? They go, this doesn't, if it doesn't concern national

security, we're not getting involved. If it doesn't, and we feel that it doesn't, Okay, but here's the problem with this whole story. You weren't there, I wasn't there, we're just talking about what we heard people talking about. We don't know exactly what went down. Until you talk to these people,

you don't know how many of them are full of shit, how many of them are exaggerating, how many of them are traumatized. That's why I say, based on the shit that you see, if you actually look into it, and then you make the judgment, you're making the judgment, damn. If you haven't seen the testimony,

then yeah, we don't know what he said. What I'm saying is, it doesn't matter. It's all on testimony. When you're basing it on testimony, you don't know what he said. What I'm saying is it doesn't matter. It's all on testimony. When you're basing it on testimony, you don't know anything about these people. You never know how much of it you're getting square. This is what they said too. They said the response to the British

Ministry of Defense saying, if it doesn't concern national security, we're not going to get involved. Then 80 people fucking hallucinated get involved, then 80 people fucking hallucinated then. They got 80 people that are full of shit. It means neither. That's not true.

It means that 80 people were not aware of what they were looking at. That's all it means. If it's just a craft... They're trained to observe. They're in the military. It doesn't mean anything. If the military people that are in the know, the people that are there at the scene of the crime or the scene of the landing, if they're not aware of the technology that's available to the highest levels of government, they're not aware of whatever experimental shit they're working on, it might as well be from another planet.

So what are they going to say? If they don't know about it? Of course. Nobody knows. Nobody was there. But to make a judgment based on the testimony you can totally not believe it and go you know what i don't believe these guys or you could look at it and say i'm going to look at with the open mind fuck 80 dudes that are trained

observers three went up to it and touched it they said they're saying it's out of this fucking world definitely they're saying it that's what they're they're in the military. The British Ministry of Defense is fucking not even looking into it at all. I mean, dude, I hear you. But it's still a bunch of people's testimony about something they saw.

And then you add, they might not have known what they were seeing. And then you add all the shit around. That's just one incident. Then you look at all of it. You connect all the dots. And then, you know,

you can make a decision. And my decision is that there's some shit going on. That's how I feel based on all that. My decision is not that at all. My decision is that there's a lot of people with a lot of stories, and we know for a fact that there are a fuckload of experimental government aircrafts that they use. For sure. Whether they're manned or whether they're remote control. And all these people are just telling their version of a story, something that they use, whether they're manned or whether they're remote control. And all these people are just telling their version of a story,

something that they saw. I believe that they saw something. I do not believe that they know it was from another world. So them even saying it was from another world, people want shit to be romantic. They want shit to be little gray men that come here in spaceships from Palladias, wherever the fuck they're coming from in the galaxy want that they look for that shit fall in love that's all true what you're saying but so you don't believe that there's ufos what is this believe man you either believe you

don't believe that's not true i believe not true that is not true you do not have to believe something is real or something's not real you just go i don't know because that's the only rational explanation yeah but you can't say you believe, because when you believe, you throw everything else out the door. You say, well, I believe there are UFOs. I believe that aliens have landed here. I don't believe that. I don't believe we know. I don't believe that we're absolutely convinced, and I don't believe that people came here.

So you believe that Philip Corso was a crazy man and he was full of shit? What are you doing? Adding words to what I'm saying? No, I'm just saying, that's like 12-year-old shit. Based on what you saw from Philip Corso was a crazy man and he was full of shit? What are you doing? Adding words to what I'm saying? No, I'm just saying that's like 12-year-old shit. Based on what you saw from Philip Corso. I believe he's out there sucking cock and taking it in the ass and he's doing drugs and he didn't even know what he was saying.

How about that? Is that better? Philip Corso is just a guy, man. I mean, he's a guy that said he saw some bodies and he's a guy that used to work for the military. Is he credible? Is he interesting? He was the head of nuclear energy in Europe okay, George Bush was the president. He's an idiot does it matter does it matter like how high he got up there? It's very clear to me that the entire government is riddled with fucking idiots. There's idiots all over the place

It was he an idiot. I don't think so he seemed like an interesting guy. Did he see some shit? I don't know what did he see in those bodies? What were they? Who the fuck knows? They might have been mutants. They might have been fucking radiation disasters. They might have been little children that had a disease. I don't know.

I don't know how much he saw it. I don't know how close he got to it. I don't know how much information he was really truly... Do you think OJ is guilty? I don't know if OJ is guilty. I would assume he is. There's a lot of evidence. Two dead people, knives, blood in his car.

It's a little different than some dude who says he saw UFOs and doesn't know what it is. So why did they let him free? What the fuck are we talking about OJ for, man? That's silly.

Well, we're talking about evidence and testimony and all that stuff. That's what we're talking about. Because the jury system's fucked up. That's why. Because black people thought that it was one on their side. That they were going to release him and The jury system's fucked up. That's why. Because black people thought that it was one

on their side. That they were going to release him and if it did not fit, you must acquit. And they wanted to get back at the Rodney King verdict and so they released him. That's why. It has nothing to do with UFOs. You guys are like a couple that broke up and have to live together. You have to be careful when you start talking about

things that you haven't seen yourself. This is just my opinion. I'm in the same way with you. I don't, even if it was the most evidence ever, unless I knew for a fact I saw it with my own eyes. There's too much bullshit. I don't follow anything. Why stress out about it? There's too much bullshit. There's too

many people who are full of shit. Too many people exaggerate. Too many people twist the truth. And there's a big business in talking about UFOs. And that's another thing to be careful of. There's a gigantic business in writing books about this shit and doing lectures and seminars. And these guys make a fucking good living traveling the country selling books and talking about UFOs.

Whenever you involve commerce in a very strange discussion, like the discussion of the potential reality of intelligent life from other planets, whenever you involve money in that and money in the stories, I mean, then it becomes like sort of a faction of show business. I mean, Whitley Streber is one of the fucking biggest proponents of the alien abduction story and wrote books on it, Communion, and had movies made about it. And that guy is a fucking book writer. He writes books. He makes fiction.

He makes fiction, and he created this whole thing about getting abducted by UFOs, and everybody took it as fact. And man, who the fuck knows if it's fact? You got a guy who's a professional fiction man, and you don't know. You don't know what's going on in his head.

There's no evidence. It's like there may be ufos absolutely there may be there may be intelligent life from out of from other planets absolutely there may be but you can't just jump on yes because you jump on yes who did i did i just jump on yes you jumped on yes i didn't jump on you said you know how much research i fucking i'm obsessed with ufos i'm i do a lot i didn't just jump on it i listened to a lot of people you said you but I didn't just jump on it. I listened to a lot of testimonies. I didn't just jump. But I didn't just jump on it.

You're making it seem like I heard one testimony. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, look, if you listen to what I said, what I said was that unless you're experiencing it yourself, you don't know exactly what happened. When you're talking about people that are talking about crafts that they think were from another world, you don't know where it really came from. And that gets very, very tricky. And if you choose to believe or not to believe, you're jumping on one side or another. If you're saying, I don't think there's UFOs, I think everyone's full of shit, you're jumping on no. And if you say, I do believe, I believe they're here, you're jumping on yes. Even if there's a lot of what you think is evidence, unless you're seeing it yourself,

unless it has been proven, which it clearly hasn't, it's clearly up for debate. Even though there's a bunch of people that come forward, whether there's a hundred or a thousand, and they say they have crazy stories about things that move too fast. Who the fuck knows what that is? Who knows? Okay. You don't believe in UFOs? Wow. Wow. Dude, are you kidding you're kidding you're kidding right i'm not kidding that's not what i'm saying i'm not saying that i don't believe in ufos okay what you're saying you don't know we no one knows none of us know man you don't know no no that's what i'm saying believe when you believe something it's like you know for like based on the evidence i believe there's some shit going on with other galaxies.

It's certainly possible that there's life on other planets. It's certainly possible. It's also possible that life is a dream. It's also possible that your life is imagination and you've made it all up. And I'm a figment of your imagination. And each player is in your life to provide you with some information and try to help you and move you along in a certain way. It's very possible that this life is not even real. It's very possible that I'm in your imagination and you're in mine and we self-create.

There's a lot of different possibilities, man. That's possible. But whether or not there's UFOs because some people that you don't know who you've never met saw some things that you never saw and said they wrote it down and had conferences and discussions about it. I don't know. I don't know about that. do you guys like sweet potato fries it's just it's a tricky thing man it's we attach ourselves to what we believe in and you uh obviously are getting attached to this idea of of ufos being real because you've spent so much time and invested so much time being fascinated by it. I am as well.

I'm fascinated with the testimony and putting it all together. I am too. You're making it sound like I'm mystically... No, I'm not, man. I'm not making it sound like that. I am saying exactly what you're saying. But I am fascinated by people

and I know that people are full of shit. And I'm not assuming that all these people are pious. I'm not assuming that all these people are pious I'm not assuming that all these people are completely honest and without a ulterior motive and telling exactly that you know as they saw it the truth I'm not seeing that I'm seeing a bunch of believers and that's the problem even if you saw something fucking completely insane I don't want you telling me you know what it is i don't want you describing it that way i want you saying i don't know what it was i want you to say i think you know it could have been some sort of a craft that i'm not aware of it could be that's what ufo means man an

identified flying object you know you're not saying ufo you're saying aliens right yes well i'm not saying aliens i'm saying unknown okay and when someone says they know and they start talking about it being from another planet bitch do you have like some fucking serial numbers you can track back to this planet like how do you know where it came from you don't know shit they're just taking a guess they see something in the sky i can't build it must be from space i mean it's that simple it's not that simple man like i can't do that it's not that simple it is that simple if you want to claim you know where it came from. Man, okay.

Okay. You can't know. You can't know. No one's saying they know. If you don't know, if you haven't seen it, you don't know where it came from, you haven't watched the video of it fucking flying off that planet and landing here, then there's a lot of fucking guesswork. It's a romantic idea.

The idea seems so cool. The idea that there's fucking aliens. It's tricky because you get sucked into it. idea the idea seems so cool the idea that's there's fucking alien it's tricky because you get sucked into it like it seems so awesome so does the loch ness monster you know it's like we have this built-in shit in our head it's nothing like the loch ness monster man loch ness monster is like you know bigfoot not well bigfoot is a real animal you know they have isolated an animal called gigantopithecus that they believe if human beings came down the Bering Strait

and they came from Asia, Gigantopithecus lived in Asia as recently as 10,000 years ago. It was a bipedal primate that was 8 to 10 feet tall. So you believe in Bigfoot?

It's an animal. Whether or not people believe people see it, who the fuck knows, man? There was woolly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers here 10, years ago seven foot tall giant fucking birds like a few hundred thousand years ago there was animals on this planet in this continent that don't exist anymore that were pretty fucking crazy crazy saber-toothed tigers are crazier than bigfoot

bigfoot's just another big monkey if bigfoot was gigantopithecus it's just another big monkey. If Bigfoot was Gigantopithecus, it's just another large primate that went extinct. Where is Bigfoot supposed to be living? Pacific Northwest, which is, if you follow the traveling down the Bering Strait, which is where Indians came here. American Indians originated in Siberia and Asia, and they came down from there. America, what people don't realize is 10,000 years ago, half of America was under a mile high sheet of ice. This was covered in ice. It was like a barren land. But something dramatic happened to the environment of the earth. And the ice age, when it ended, America opened up. And that's when people started moving here. Some of the people had already moved here.

They found Chinese bodies here from 10,000 years ago. But when people started moving here. Some of the people had already moved here. They found Chinese bodies here from 10,000 years ago. But when people started moving here, they came from there. They came from the Bering Strait. That's like the number one theory of a big percentage of the American Indians. So they came down from Asia, and this monkey lived in Asia. And if this thing followed them,

who the fuck knows? Is there any compelling evidence for Loch Ness Monster? There's pictures. there's scans from radar they think it could be a big fish that could have gotten landlocked that was extinct in other places but not there the problem with Loch Ness is it's really murky they can't see and it could be a bunch of other things

could be a bunch of other things that people are misconstruing and there's been a bunch of hoaxes but when enough people have seen things you gotta wonder what the fuck is it? Is it an eel? You've got to think of all the animals that are real. Is it a dolphin?

It's probably mostly floating wood and just people knowing the story and going, oh, there it is, I saw it. There's more evidence for Bigfoot or Loch Ness Monster? Probably Bigfoot. Because Bigfoot, there's the American Indians. That's a big part of the lore of Bigfoot. There's over 250 American Indian names for Bigfoot.

Bigfoot was born in the imagination of an American Indian that just wanted attention. It might have been 20. What did you say? Bigfoot was born in the head of an American Indian that was just wanting attention. Can you imagine one dude came up with that and it just spread over and over and all the other ones is somebody hearing

that same story and just being paranoid walking through the woods late at night it's like other tribes other tribes with like these fucking costumes

like bear costumes the most compelling evidence about Bigfoot is actually the audio tapes there's these audio tapes of these crazy primate howls

that they've recorded in the Pacific Northwest and they're really fucking loud. They're really loud and interesting. And these have been done, you know, and supposedly by legit scientists. They've recorded these sounds. So it could be somebody let a monkey loose. They had a crazy pet monkey, and they let that motherfucker loose, and he's screaming in the woods. Joe, if we put you in the woods, you can make up some sounds that they would think was Bigfoot in Loch Ness Mountains, so it's a baby.

What's the worst conspiracy theory? Like, the worst one. Flat Earth. There's people that believe the Earth is flat. To the young Earth, that's another bad one. No, no, no. Like, today, people don't believe it's flat. Yes, young Earth?

Yeah, they believe the young Earth. Yeah. That's a big percentage of the Christian population. There's a guy on Twitter. I follow him all the time. He's this crazy, retarded Christian young earth guy who's always talking about the evidence against evolution. He has these YouTube videos.

You can't watch them for more than five minutes because the insanity radiates off the screen and it starts to get you. Blonde hair, cute lips. He's really nice. Yeah, he's hot. They believe that the earth is less than 10 000 years old a lot of people more than 50 percent during a recent gallop poll in the united states believe that the earth uh that earth is the age that's depicted in the bible which is less

than 10 000 years old they probably don't even know what that is they're just going to the bible say that yeah yeah it's the bible probably you know what i mean yeah like uh what is what does jesus think yeah that's all they have to hear. There's a lot of dumbass conspiracy theories. Bigfoot's not the dumbest one. Bigfoot, there's a real animal that they can lock that to. It's like, there's one, the Jersey Devil, some fucking giant monster that's like half the one. Or the Chupacabra. Yeah, the Texas one.

Well, the Chupacabra, they've narrowed that down, too. They think it's mange. Mange on coyotes. Because they've had dead coyotes that they've shot and killed that were covered in mange dude they don't even look real they look like monsters they're zombie coyotes they look like ghouls they lose all their hair it's a it's a common disease and they have photos there's photos of them online if you look chupacabra they have a headless one they chopped its head off and it's a coyote it's a coyote that horrible mange and it has like almost blue dark like bluish blackish skin and it's no hair and it looks like

a monster so that's most likely the origin of the chupacabra because you're talking about something that killed goats and shit and killed chickens yeah that's what coyotes do you know so they have that narrowed down you know i was at the zoo this weekend man and i saw a leopard they had a leopard there. And it was so sad. Leopard's just pacing around. Just doesn't get to jack anything. Just pacing.

Look at all these people staring out. Well, they've started to find leopards in America, bro. Really? Leopards have made their way to Phoenix. Wow. Yeah, there's leopard sightings in Arizona. Wow, that's awesome. Yeah, they're coming up through South America and through Mexico and into America. Fucking leopards, bro.

That's pretty good. Leopards are no joke. Could you imagine if you were like the first American to get jacked by a leopard? I would love it. Would you? They're not going to last too long. Oh, he's a jack. There'll be leopard hunting season and those motherfuckers will be wiped out.

Do you think so, man? They try to go into Texas. Yeah, they go to Texas. They don't even have to open up a hunting season in Texas. They'll just start shooting them. The kids will shoot them. Yeah. Who were we talking about the other day that was jogging and they shot something

and you were more amazed that they had a gun while they were jogging. Somebody was telling us a story. Who the fuck told us that? What was that? Oh, shit. That sucks. I thought you would know. Never mind.

Didn't they do that in Colorado when you lived there? Didn't you jog? You had to have a gun, right? I carried a gun. Yeah, I sucks. I thought you would know. Never mind. Didn't they do that in Colorado when you lived there? Didn't you jog? You had to have a gun, right? I carried a gun. Yeah, I did. Really? They have jogging holsters. You know what I mean?

I carried a gun every time I went hiking. Right. Fuck you. You jog with a fucking rifle behind you. Yeah, dude. The last thing you want to do is be out there by yourself with your family in a fucking predator attacks. And you don't have a gun. Especially when it's somebody that wants your daughters.

It's so easy to shoot things. You have a gun, you put it in your pocket. I mean, that's pretty crazy technology. You have this little thing in your pocket that can protect you. What are the odds of that? You've got to use that shit. I've been thinking really hard about getting a gun lately. Me and there's two of my friends that were both saying,

they just called me randomly like, hey, do you want to get a gun? I think it was Duncan or somebody. Better to have it and not to need it than to need it and not to have it. You can't control all these people in this world. It's almost living out in the wilderness like you did. We talked about this before.

It's a lot like no matter where you go, you got to deal with some death. Either you live in the city and you got to deal with muggers and rapists or like gangbangers or something. Or you live way out away from that shit. No gangbangers are going out into the wilderness. But then you got to deal with mountain lions and crazy shit like that. You got to deal with things. And you got to deal with weird people.

But at least you can shoot them and you're cool. Like you can just look at them and go, bam, and just blast them. You can't do that to a mugger until he jumps on you. You've got to be careful with bears because bears are hard to kill. It's very hard to kill a bear with a pistol. If you've got a bear, you're better off shooting into the air. What about bear mace? That shit works, yeah.

You've got to get them with it, though. They've got to be close enough for you to get them with it. I didn't even know bear mace existed until South Park. Well, bears, you've got to be careful. Oh, was he? He thought he was the bounty hunter. South Park is based he he thought he was the bounty hunter that was in

you know South Park is based on Evergreen that's where those guys grew up that's where I almost lived I wound up living in the mountains of Boulder

but the mountains above Denver there's one town called Evergreen that I really liked and that's where South Park is that's what it's based on

were they actually from like Denver those dudes yeah does anybody want a drink coconut water oh dude I would love a coconut water.

Have you had these coconut waters? Fuck yeah. We need to be sponsored by them so they can send us crates of them. So if you're listening, O, what is it? C2-O. Best coconut water in the world. Better than that grain box one? Oh, totally.

You know what it tastes like? It tastes like you just ate a bowl of Froot Loops and it's the milk from the Froot Loops. Oh, shit. You know? That's what it tastes like. So good. Yeah, it it's the shit i'm a big fan of this stuff yeah living in colorado is just as tricky as cheers cheers salute here's the wine there's gotta be there's gotta be a coconut water alcoholic beverage right oh there has to be you go to a bar and say give me coconut in i bought my seagrams for my dad's birthday i bought him a crate of uh the shit that you always drink with the mushrooms and stuff what's that called oh kombucha yeah i got my crate of that and a crate of coconut water

he loves the kombucha but the uh coconut water he doesn't like but he uses it for uh pina coladas he doesn't like this stuff no really he says it's weak. He says he needs to add something to it. I think when you get old, you lose your taste buds. Dude, vodka and coconut water will probably be the shit. When you get old, you lose your taste buds? Yeah, you start losing taste. What if older people are more likely to eat ass then? Yes, you would think that.

Fuck no. I would. After all the shits they had to endure to smell. Do you remember that video we watched a long time ago about rods do you remember that shit it's a serious fucking video yeah this dude was in mexico and he's filming all these people yeah filming these people skydiving into this cliff there's a cliff that's like a mile down it's crazy it looks like someone took a an apple core to the earth and cut this gigantic hole out of the earth.

And these dudes would base jump off that bitch and skydive and fucking pull a parachute. Well, as they're filming it, you see these things flying by the camera like insane speeds. And they look like tubes. They look like they're like wing tubes. This guy dedicated his whole life to fucking tracking these things down and trying to find out what the fuck these things were. They were moths. It turns out it was just an artifact. It was a video camera artifact that when something moved too quickly,

too close to the screen, it stretched the image out, so it made the image look like it was a flying snake. Absolutely. So this poor fuck literally made videos, has websites, Roswell Rods. Is he still on it? Yes. He had to give up. No, he had to have given up. Let's go to roswellrods.com and see

this fucking dummy. This is the problem, man. This guy's making money. This guy's making money. Doesn't mean UFOs aren't real, dude. Huh? Just because that guy fucked up. No, it doesn't mean it's not real, but it doesn't mean they're not real, but it doesn't mean they are real. Like you said,

it's most likely. I'll say that. I'll take back I believe and I'll say it's most likely real. Is that better? Is that better? Why? Why even have a fucking... Because this is about opinions.

You can't just speak. But why become attached? I'm just saying based on what I've seen, it's most likely real. I think the site's down. Fuck yeah, they took that shit down. He was videotaping mobs. This is the official website for the mysterious flying entities called Rods,

discovered by Jose Escamilla over Midway and Roswell, New Mexico. He was a jogger or something, wasn't he? A light jogger. He's just a dummy. He's a dummy that got tricked by some shit. These guys on MonsterQuest figured it out in fucking

ten minutes. This guy's been trying to kidnotfindroswellrods.com You're done, son. It doesn't exist? It doesn't exist anymore. This guy fucking spent his whole life. Dude, there needs to be a documentary on his shit, because you know he videotaped everything, right? They need to get get that footage and then get the footage of him now he's probably

penniless and insane somewhere i wonder how many emails he gets by mistake like i heard you videotape a lot of rods well he actually had another one that he was gay rods there's a gay rods there was another one that he uh was was chasing down another crazy thing that didn't seem to make any sense let me let me type his name because he had like another thing uh that was like another uh theory about something else and then someone on the message board going wait a minute isn't that the rods guy and now that's who he is from now on i uh i like pussy oh lunar rising oh here he goes I, uh... Oh, Lunar Rising. Oh, here he goes. He's got some shit about the moon. He changed?

Yeah, he thinks there's fucking anomalies on the moon now. Okay, here he goes. The true color of the moon. For over 50 years, we have been told and convinced the moon is nothing more than a black and white desolate rock with moon dust and craters. The thousands of photos released to the public have always presented a black and white moonolate rock with moon dust and craters that thousands of photos released to the public have always presented a black and white moon.

Even with the most recent Hubble photographs of the moon are black and white. NASA continues to perpetuate the lie that, in quotes, that the moon is black and white. This motherfucker is crazy. Same dude from God's? Yeah, yeah.

And he's like... Damn, he switched over. Snake oil. He switched over. Snake oil right here. Oh, he's got a bunch of spots that he says, oh my God, this is hilarious. Does he believe that the moon landing was a hoax? Oh, no.

What he's showing is craters, and he believes that these craters are different alien artifacts. And these craters, like, oh, they're such a stretch. Like, the photos are such a stretch. He's like, thinks that these structures are artificial. It's like fucking craters, man. Shit got smashed by rocks from space. Sometimes little shapes come out of that, you fucking dummy. Did you see the moon on Conan's set last night on his first episode?

No, how was the first episode? Did you watch it? Yeah, it felt really cheap. Like you know how you watch like the NBC show. It felt like the furniture was high quality. It felt like those were real plants behind them it felt like a good backdrop this felt like they got everything at fucking i don't know sears outlet you know and really yeah and and like the background was this horrible blue painting that just looked really cheap and generic and then there was this

moon in the middle of it that was kind of cool. And I guess it moves. But it just looked like, the whole thing looked like low budget. Was it the real moon or a fake moon? No, fake moon. Totally fake moon. But it just looked really low budget. And I don't know. It was okay.

He had Seth Rogen on last night. Listen how gay you are. You're looking at the set. The set was terrible. No, no, no. I mean, like, it was out of control. I was a fan of the show.

I was a real fan of the show. All I can say is, was it a real moon or a fake moon? I couldn't comment on the furniture. I was a real fan of the show. And, like, a lot of the reviewers of that, you know, like, newspapers and stuff that reviewed it, you know, they made up interesting points. Like, why are you focusing, like, on a tenth variation of the Tonight Show, you know? Like, you're not being your own show. You're being're being like the tonight show in a version of the tonight show you have this new opportunity why don't you fucking throw that desk out a window and fucking do something you know yeah people like

that desk it's not funny that you like having people on it isn't it better to do it like this where you just like this is like if we were here i mean we have a table so we have our laptops and shit in front of us but we do have kind of a desk, though. Yeah, but that's to put shit on. They don't see the desk. There's always a pencil and a piece of paper, no? Yeah, but our viewers don't see the desk. I guess it's cool that he has notes and everything, but they could put that on a teleprompter.

I think there's some security to the desk because it's been there forever. Just because you get boners when Pamela Anderson from 10 years ago is on. It doesn't look cool if you're just in a chair. You got nervous when you're saying Pamela. I was looking at her boobs. Oh, Pamela. How about they just sit there on stage, no desk, and they're on a big lazy boy.

Why don't they just chill? And they got a headset on. You don't want to be too lazy, though, because then the conversation won't be interesting. Why don't Conan just have a cool house? And invite some cool people over and just hang out? That's actually a good idea. Get some good cameras.

Have some good quality behind it. But just have Conan with his little beard going, hey, check out my garage. Just hang out in the garage and talk about your movie. What's your movie? Well, the problem is that a lot of people like to be in the audience. And they like to have an audience there. It makes the comedy play out. 200 people are sad.

Invite the 200 people via Skype. That's cool. That'll work. John Heffron's doing comedy shows through Skype, something like Skype. It's a new form of video conferencing technology, but he sits in a room, and there's all these screens around him, and he's performing for all these other people that are in the room with him. Yeah, it's pretty cool shit.'s actually uh it's incredible i hope that catches not in front of an audience no he's doing some some corporate gigs where he does them

on a desk and the desk there's like there's there's cameras that come at him can you hear laughter yes you hear everything they're all connected everyone's conference called up and it's like you know 50 100 people in there. How crazy. I mean, he's sitting there by himself in front of a laptop. And then there could be fucking the whole world listening. And then you could hear all their laughter. Can you imagine that? It's like a shower curtain.

Like you have a stereo system. Well, he said it's really crazy because you could see when you set it up, you can see all these people in front of you. Like you see them sitting. There's not just one screen. There's like a dozen screens in front of them. And he see all these people in front of you. Right. Like you see them sitting, like there's not just one screen. There's like a dozen screens in front of them, and he sees all these people in front of him. Yeah.

So it's almost like an audience. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, whoa. Audience at the shower ring convention. Yeah, man, I'm not real interested in talk shows. You know, like when I heard about it, I was like, you know, I'm not going to really watch it.

It's like a podcast. Yeah, but it's not because it's seven minutes, and all they're doing is talking about their movie. They're talking about their, you know, I'm not going to really watch it. It's like a podcast. Yeah, but it's not because it's seven minutes and all they're doing is talking about their movie. They're talking about their, I mean, how often does someone have a really interesting story? It's not usually. Most of the time they're just pimping their shit. You know, they'll have a little, you know, so what's been going on? Oh, we recently had our second baby. See, to me it's good because you lay in bed and you're kind of like watching the news kind of, you know,

like it's like the news but, you know, mixed with humor. Right. So it's kind of more just like, like I. It's like the news but mixed with humor. Right. So it's kind of more just like I wouldn't watch it if it was like 8 p.m. Right. I mean, I like them. I mean, they're okay, but I don't go out of my way to see them. I prefer the Jon Stewart show, honestly. I think that The Daily Show, the way he does it, is the best way.

He has a lot of shit that he fucks around with. Like his monologues and his making fun of things in the news, even though it's all political for the most part, I think he hits the mark more than anybody. He makes me laugh out loud more than anybody. Did you guys already talk about the Galpha Ganakis weed smoking incident on the Jon Stewart show? No, no, we didn't.

Do you know what happened? Yeah, yeah, he smoked pot. He pulled out a joint. It was actually the Bill Maher show. Oh, it was? Yeah. It wasn't Jon Stewart? No, yeah. He smoked pot. He pulled out a joint. It was actually the Bill Maher show. Oh, it was? Yeah. It wasn't Jon Stewart? No.

Okay. Okay, I was off. It was real time. But then the executive said that it wasn't real pot, that it was a prop. Okay. They had to say it. Yeah, but why do they have to say it? Why do they have to say it's not real?

It's like the kids. This is the first podcast we've done since Proposition 9 did not pass. 19, rather, did not pass. You know, and so there's a lot of fucking, yeah, there's a lot of shit going on right now in this country. There's a lot of shit going on with pot and disinformation and people thinking that somehow or another, if you have pot and it's more accessible than it is now,

that the world's going to fall apart. It's sad i never thought when i was a little kid that we'd be here in now 2010 and this would still be up for debate yeah but you have to also know that it's never going to it's not going to pass that easily and unless it's like an iphone app one single button all these people instead of having to register and then go get fucking take off work or go towards your lunch and vote you have to do that otherwise it'll be too much fraud yeah but you know in like 10 years they're going to figure it out it's going to be on your fucking pagers maybe but maybe there's probably uh some incentive to

keep it complicated because the more complicated the less people vote and the more it's political aficionados that are in the mix instead of just the casual person i knew that was going to happen though did you i wasn't shocked at knew that was going to happen, though. Did you? I wasn't shocked at all. It was just like gay marriage. You thought that was going to pass, but then... You know what's shocking to me, man?

When the polls are right. Because I'm like, who the fuck answers polls? Do you? Have you ever answered a poll? Polls like online? Yeah, or has anybody called you up and you talked to them?

Yeah, all the time I do polls. Do you really? Yeah, or if somebody called you up and you talked to them. Yeah, yeah, all the time I do polls. Do you really? Yeah, and if you're on TMZ and it's like, does Mel Gibson's butt look fat, yes or no, I'm going to take the extra click to see no just to see what the answers are. Really? Yeah, don't you? No. First of all, those aren't real polls.

What I mean about a poll is like you go somewhere and it's a multiple page thing where it asks you a bunch of questions. I don't do that much. Or even a few questions like 10 questions sometimes like you know like once in a while like if a product that i really like that you get that spam email with like please answer 10 questions for us do you really if it's a company i like i'll give them i'll take the extra minute damn why not you brian why not i don Not you. Anything I can do to help the products that I like. If it's like, whatever, Apple. Well, you do do that.

You make little videos and shit when you like a product. Yeah. The last poll I took was like, who's the best submission artist in MMA? Shinya Yoki, BJ Penn. Oh, in MMA. Yeah. Well, Marcel's not really in MMA, right, anymore? He did MMA once.

Is he done, though? Probably. Yeah. He's making so much money in jujitsu he doesn't need to go through all that shit he's making a teaching yeah dude his website man yeah god damn he charges 30 bucks a month to get his techniques 30 yeah that's a lot of fucking extra thousands a month. That dude who set it up, that chess master, Josh, I think his last name is Waitzkin. I don't remember exactly how to pronounce his name.

Bobby Fischer? Yeah. He's the one from the video, Searching for Bobby Fischer, the movie. It was all based on him. He was a child chess prodigy and now he's transferred that into becoming a jiu-jitsu guy. He a jiu-jitsu guy he loves jiu-jitsu and he treats it just like chess where there's a bunch of openings a bunch of different counters and he has them broken down so he has the website really like systematically organized

the way you would organize like chess practice so it's pretty fucking interesting you know that someone who's a chess genius i mean that kind of a mind that kind of a uh like uh you know like a retardation word it's not retardation strategic that that kind of a strategic mindset applied to jujitsu it's kind of interesting i bet i mean if you were making free money just like 20k a month which is probably in the area doing nothing why would you do mma that money's just flowing the fuck in. He doesn't want to do it. You know what I mean? He doesn't need to. He can just stick to being the greatest jiu-jitsu player of all time.

Well, I would really love to see just professional jiu-jitsu because I've always said that, you know, one of the best things about jiu-jitsu, watching jiu-jitsu, is you don't have any guilt. Even though you're watching dudes get jacked, and even if you jack a guy, there's no guilt. It's because, like, when you knock somebody out or you hurt somebody,

or even you watch somebody get knocked out, at least part of It's because like, when you knock somebody out or you hurt somebody or even you watch somebody get knocked out, at least part of my brain is like, that guy just got fucked up. You know, there's like a part of that guy that's not going to be

the same again. And like, he got hit by a car or something. Yeah, yeah. I mean, someone gets really fucking head kicked. When Gonzaga cro-copped,

cro-cop, when he head kicked cro-cop and knocked him out, I remember I had to interview cro-cop afterwards and he was just, you know, it really was a dumb idea to interview him. I should have probably protested,

but we always interview the winner and the loser. And he was up and they said, okay, interview the loser. So I just automatically went to it. But as I was talking to him, I'm like, this poor guy should not be getting interviewed right now. This guy just, you know, he just got knocked unconscious. He's not exactly sure what happened. And I'm asking him questions. You know, when you see something like that, man, you there's a there's a fucking price but jiu-jitsu never feels like there's a price you know guys get jacked and even if they get hurt like he's gonna be okay and most of the time 99 percent of the time but uh marcelo garcia man if he could just do professional jiu-jitsu if they could have like a guy like that you could have professional jiu-jitsu and even put it on tv and

it would be exciting because he'd be just catching people all the time. There's so many good guys now. I mean, Marcelo's still the king, but there's so many guys out there still competing, like Ryan Hall and Jeff Glover and all those new Brazilians busting out. Bobovich. Rafael Mendes, Cobrina, Rafael Lovato. There's so many guys that are good at no gi.

It should be in the Olympics right away. There's no reason why no gi jiu-jitsu shouldn't be in the Olympics. Yeah, gi is a little too slow. That would bore people to death. Yeah, that bores me. You have that funny story about going to watch with John Jock. Yeah, I was always the guy in class that asked the questions about yanking on collars

and yanking on sleeves and asking, like, how is that going to translate in MMA? I mean, because I was embarrassed. When I first started doing jiu-jitsu, I would tell guys, check out this next fight. This guy's a jiu-jitsu guy.

He's going to fuck him up. He's going to jack him. And the first fight that I got really disappointed with was Bustamante against Bolander. I love Bustamante to death. He's still one of my all-time favorite fighters. But I couldn't believe that he couldn't finish him off his back.

It just baffled me. I kept saying, okay, he's going to get him right now. He's going to get him right now. He's just setting him up. He's going to get him. And then it didn't happen. And I asked Sean Jacques, I'm like, what's going on with, how come we never see sweeps and finishes off, you know, rarely off from the bottom. You never see sweeps and finishes at the same rate as you do at the Mundiales.

At the Mundiales, they're sweeping, they're finishing off their back. Like, I mean, it's incredible how much action there is like off your back, but not in MMA. It was different, so. It's because they don't have the gi to hold on to. Yeah, well, if you practice setting up all your submissions and sweeps, yanking and pulling on someone's outfit, and that's actually part of the sweep, you take that out, and then you also add strikes,

man, it's a whole different game. So, you know, what was the question? How did we get this far? We were talking about John Jques watching in matches with you, and you guys were both saying how boring it was. Oh, yes, yes. So immediately I was questioning the geek going, man, this could be a problem.

This is making jiu-jitsu look bad. For me, it was like, how does jiu-jitsu look in MMA? And then when I went to the Mundials in 2000 as a purple belt with Jean-Jacques, and we're watching the black belts, and I can't even keep my eyes open. Most of the matches weren't boring. There were some exciting matches, and there still are some.

There's a lot of exciting matches with the Gi, but generally, I mean, I was sitting there trying to keep my eyes open, and Jean-Jacques looked over and goes, man, this is so boring. He wanted to leave. And right there, that struck me. I'm like, man, this is so boring. He wanted to leave. And right there, that struck me. I'm like, damn, one of the fucking baddest jiu-jitsu players of all time,

my master, is bored with watching black belts play tug-of-war in the gi. That's when I thought, whoa, man, the gi is a problem. And for me, the reason why I started teaching without the gi wasn't to separate myself from the Brazilian jiu-jitsu community. It wasn't me going, fuck you, you guys with the gi. I took off the gi for jiu-jitsu. I did this shit for jiu-jitsu. And that's the one thing I want everyone to understand, especially the Brazilians that hate me, is I did this for jiu-jitsu.

The most important thing for me is how jiu-jitsu looks in MMA. And I feel that the gi is I did this for jujitsu. The most important thing for me is how jujitsu looks in MMA and I feel that the gi is a problem for MMA. So I decided when I opened up a school, I want to try to bring jujitsu back. I'm going to do whatever I can personally, whatever I can do to bring jujitsu back in MMA. Well, you did it also because you think that's the most effective way to do it in MMA. Yes. No, of course, of course. I thought it was the most effective way, and I'm doing it for Jiu-Jitsu. I feel that if everyone lost the Gi 10 years ago and just focused on no

Gi submissions, setting up everything in the clinch, setting everything up with overhooks, underhooks, and head control, as opposed to setting everything up with yanking and pulling collars and sleeves, if we would have started everybody 10 years ago, we'd just killed the Gi. If Helio would have said, no more Gi. We need to come back.

We need to dominate MMA again. Man, the world would be a different place. We would see a hundred Shinya Aoki's, a hundred Javi Vasquez. Did you see what Ryan Hall said recently? He had a thing about how he doesn't play guard anymore, that all he's concerned with now is if he winds up on bottom, is sweeping, getting on top to finish.

That's beautiful if you can do it, but what about the guys you can't sweep? Yeah, he's saying that you can't rely on your guard anymore. Well, you can't rely on sweeps all the time either, but you're going to be on your back regardless, and if you could sweep them, most of my game is all about sweeps. I'm all about sweeping and getting on top, but you have to prepare for the worst case scenario,

a guy that puts it on your back and you can't sweep him. You better have a wicked finishing game off your back as well. You've got to have both. You can't finish everybody from your back and you can't sweep everybody. But if a dude stuffs all your sweeps and he stuffs all your finishes, he's just better than you. That's it. But you've got to have as much game as possible.

I'm amazed that somebody hasn't stepped up and tried to make a professional jiu-jitsu league. I know Rico Ciparelli did that thing for a little bit, but he was having a hard time with it. But I think it's more popular now than it was then. Well, the problem with the Rico Ciparelli promotion, which was professional submission league, PSL, great concept. He just had like eight super fight matches, man.

He had Marcelo in there against Jake Shields. He had Marcelo in there against Jake Shields. He had Marcelo in there against Cameron Earl. But the only way he thought he could make it work and sell it to a network or something, even like ESPN or something, was to have Randy Couture as the main event. And Randy Couture, originally, he retired a few years ago, and he wasn't planning on doing MMA anymore,

but his plan was just to stay in the mix competitively and do submission grappling so Rico jumped on him said hey dude you're gonna be the poster boy to this you're gonna blow this up but then when he decided to go back to MMA he was left without a poster child and I mean I think I think he could make it successful with with the guys we have nowadays like make marcello garcia the poster child and then bring in you know you know cabrinha bring in rafael mendez bring in uh bralio estima bring in again jeff glover ryan hall javi vasquez all these guys that um you know javi's back in the mix in mma now but i think you could do it now i don't think you need randy couture i don't think what

they really need is they need to get some sort of a network behind it. Someone willing to step up and take a chance with it. But it's hard, man. Look at Bellator. I mean, Bellator's on Fox Sports Net, you know what I'm saying? It's like they have a hard time getting a network where people are going to pay attention to it. If you have Jiu-Jitsu on Fox Sports Net, it's going to be really tough. There's not a lot of people that are focused

on that. If you get it on ESPN, on the other hand, and made a big deal. The difference between submission grappling and mma the the advantage it could be a small advantage in some people's eyes but people will get into it because anybody can actually practice it and you can go to your local jujitsu school and you actually can get involved so i it has the potential is there of course it's not it'll never be as exciting as dudes smashing skulls and and all that kind of stuff but um submission grappling with the right guys can be very very uh exciting and i think it could i think it could be successful they got dogs catching frisbees at 1 30 in the morning you can throw

up some nogi jiu-jitsu up there for sure. They got the most. I mean, pool is huge. I mean, pool is on TV all the time. No, it's not. It's not huge at all. But it's on TV, though. Starving to death, man.

Yeah, but it's on TV. Barely. It's barely on TV. A lot of those matches that you watch are old matches. The women have some on ESPN, but there's no money in it. No one's making any money. They have to go overseas to make the real money. There's a couple tournaments, like the US Open.

You win that. You win $40,000. You got to play for a week, and that's only the winner. You get down to the other people. There's not much money. Okay, okay. There's not much money in it, but it's still on the air. And I could see submission grappling like that on the air,

and no one's really making that much money except for the top guys. But then you got poker. That's making money, right? Yeah. Who watches fucking poker, man? You know what the thing about poker is, man? The thing about poker is... You watch poker.

I love poker. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Here's the thing about poker is that you could watch and you could know what we all have. Like when you're watching at home, you can't affect the outcome of the game. So you could see, like if you had two aces,

you had an ace and a king, you could see, without you seeing what he had, the people watching could see what he had. So they know. Everyone is in on it. So, ooh, how's this going to play out? What if baseball was like that, where you knew what the pitcher was going to throw,

like right before? Ooh, that's interesting. That's interesting. Because if they let you know a second before you throw... How could he ever get to him? How could he get to him that quick? And if he's looking somewhere else, he's keeping his eye, it would fuck him up. That's a good idea.

Like right away, boom. Yeah. Yeah. If you had like, if the pitcher had like a little thing on his mouth. You know what? It would have to be someone who could read the signs because the catcher is giving those signs. Or just do it at like a 20 second delay.

Does the catcher give those signs or the pitcher give those signs? Who decides what gets thrown? The catcher. The pitcher can say, no, fuck it, I'm throwing some heat. He's like the executive producer. The fucking catcher's the producer. What if they have bitchy arguments? You see them going, no, dude.

No, no, no, no. Basically, the catcher's trying to get them to agree. Like, okay, what are we going to do? It's up to you, but you want to throw this? I'm suggesting this. But you could do that with football, too. Like, right before the snap, boom, it's going to be a run or something. That, like, is one of the hardest things about putting anything together

is getting two people to agree on what should be done. You know? Like, if you have an executive producer and you have the talent and they're together and they're trying to figure out how to work things out, man, that's a hard fucking thing to come together on. You'd have to put it on a 10 second delay. Then that would ensure that no one, there's no thing. Yeah.

If there's no, uh, you've, you've had that with music though, right? You've had that with music where dudes are trying to fuck with and change your shit and you didn't like it. Remember that executive producer you were working with for a while? Which one? The guy down in San Diego. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Remember he wanted to do all this and do all that. No, that wasn't going to work. You know, all of a sudden you're like, what gonna happen all the time exactly happens all the time yeah i've i've had it happen with everything i've ever done everything i've ever done that has to do with creativity that involves other people they all want to i am i am open to hear shit i've always been that way in every band that i've been in the rule has always been the same there's five of us i'm 22 years old and everyone's like in their early 20s like anybody can write but we all have to like it like if you want to come up with something okay we all have

to like it because when you're on stage man what's most important you would rather play someone else's good shit than your bad shit right oh you don't want no one wants to go on stage and the crowd's going what the fuck is this and And no one's liking it. And the other guys are talking behind their back like, dude, I don't want to do this song anymore. That's the last thing you want. You want to avoid that. You know what I mean?

So what ends up happening is real quick, you end up everyone gravitating to the guy who's putting together the best shit. Right. And there's always that band where you know that they're just giving this fucking drummer a bone and letting him sing right now. There's always a few songs like that, right? Oh, dude. The perfect example is Peter Criss from Kiss.

He co-wrote a song. He thinks he wrote Beth, but really Bob Ezrin wrote it. He's a famous producer. So it says Peter Criss and Bob Ezrin. That was the biggest Kiss song to date. Beth was huge. It was like a ballad. It was the first one that ever.

I was a huge Kiss fan, but that was the first one that made it on the radio. Yeah, that was massive.. Beth was huge. It was like a ballad. It was the first one that ever, I was a huge Kiss fan, but that was the first one that made it on the radio. Yeah, that was massive. Beth is fucking huge. So Peter Criss got a big head, goes,

I want to leave Kiss. You guys are letting me only write one song. I want to write more songs. He goes, I'm going to make a solo album. And Paul Steinle goes, do, do, do, do, do, do.

We'll all make solo albums and we'll put them together, but let's not break up. Make a solo album. That's cool. We'll all make solo albums. So they all put out solo albums at the same time. Peter Criss'

album, the guy who wanted to leave to make the solo, was not only the worst of the solo albums, but it's the worst Kiss album ever. He's known for the worst Kiss album ever. No Kiss fan has ever said they like that album. Really? It's that bad. It's really bad, dude.

It's really, really, really bad. So he's not in the band anymore, but there's a fake Peter Criss now? The way they did it, originally when Peter and Ace left, they replaced them with new characters. Like Eric Fox came on to replace Peter Criss as the Fox. Vinnie Vinson came on to replace Ace as the Egyptian god or something.

But then they finally took the makeup off. They went like 10, 15 years without makeup. And then when they put the makeup back they got Peter and Ace the original guys back they did a couple reunion tours and the exact same thing happened Peter fucked up, Ace fucked up so they kicked him out but this time he died actually

but when they did the reunion tour you gotta bring back the original guys cause that was two other guys that were check out this picture it's Ace Frehley tattooed on this guy's side When they did the reunion tour, you've got to bring back the original guys. Because that was two other guys that were... Check out this picture. It's Ace Frehley tattooed on this guy's side. He was a bartender or a server at the Cap City Comedy Club. That's awesome.

Kid named Bobby. And he ran into Ace Frehley and he was drunk. And he was talking all this shit to Ace Frehley. And Ace Frehley goes, fuck you, kid. So he gets Ace Frehley's picture tattooed on him with fuck you, kid. Let's put it up here. That's amazing. I'll put it on my Twitter later today.

But he got this fucking tattoo of Ace Frehley tattooed. His whole side of his body is permanently a big picture of Ace Frehley where it says fuck you, kid underneath it. That's incredible. So when they decided to do the reunion, they got the guys ace and peter it's been like 15 years of course they wanted to do they realized fuck we fucked up god damn it why do we leave kiss and get kicked out at the same time as like both they both got back in the reunion tours were

massive they did a couple and then the peter started fucking up and a started fucking up somehow they left so instead of getting new guys with new characters, they got new guys to play Ace and Peter. Wow. And they introduced the guys and say as... No, they never did that.

They never did that. No? They didn't have to go there. No, they never pretended like that was the real Ace and that was the real Peter. Maybe they did the first few shows.

Maybe they tried to do some shenanigans. No, I'm not saying they did shenanigans i said they said you know and now starring as bang and they say the guy's name i don't know they've never done they've never said no they said the real guy's name because because what happened is when they did the reunion tour eric singer the non-makeup kiss drummer and bruce kulik the non-makeup kiss guitar player they got left in the behind go we're gonna do a reunion tour and blow this shit up this non-makeup Kiss guitar player, they got left in the behind and go, we're going to do a reunion tour and blow this shit up. This non-makeup band ain't happening. But

when Peter left, they got the non-makeup dude, Eric Singer, to play Peter. Whoa. So he came in and he always said he was Eric Singer, but they know that a lot of the fans that are coming, they don't even know the difference. Oh man, I liked Kiss way when I was a kid. I'm going to go check

out Kiss. They're fucking cool, man. Rock and roll all night. They have no idea. They realize. They never hide it. They never deny it. But they know that it doesn't really matter.

They're just going to come up. We're going to say that's Eric Singer. We're going to say that's Tommy Thayer playing Ace. But most of the people aren't even going to notice. What was the deal with Ace Frehley and Peter Criss?

Why couldn't they get it together? The exact same thing. Drugs? And alcohol. And Peter. And then again, all two. Peter was not a very good drummer back when he practiced a lot. Oh, really?

It's like jujitsu, man. You don't fucking keep practicing. You lose your chops. A drummer has to be like a fucking machine, literally, on time. Right. And Peter and Paul and Gene have never stopped touring they never stopped putting out albums those guys are machines they could sing their ass off

and they could play Paul is unconscious playing and singing and Gene he's one of the most underrated bass players ever he can sing fucking harmonies like the Beatles Paul and Gene are machines, bro. So what they got, they decided to replace

Eric Singer, the non-makeup Kiss guy. They brought him in. They put Peter Chris makeup on him, and he can sing. Eric Singer can sing, and he can play his ass off. He's an amazing drummer, and he can sing. So they go, we're going to bring this guy back. Does he sing Beth now? Yes. They did

a reality show. The Gene Simmons show was so successful that they would show spots of Kiss during the Gene Simmons reality show, but then they kind of did a spin-off. Why don't we just follow Kiss? So reality shows are all fucking fake. You know what I mean?

Most of them. They had to make... Even the ones that are real, the facial reactions, they have one camera there, and how are they pan the camera, the facial reactions, they have like one camera there and how are they getting, how are they panning to all these facial reactions?

They're like storing these facial reactions from two weeks ago. Oh, there's a good one, a perplexed look. That's how they do it. Different shirts on and shit. Yeah, that's how fake it is.

So with the Kiss reality show, there was like a mini series reality show or it might be an ongoing show. They have to create some drama so they're following around and Eric Singer, who's dressed like peter is like gene can i do beth in the in uh for the next show and then gene's all you know uh promise peter that we wouldn't do beth i don't know and like eric's like come on dude let me do beth so then eric singer disappears

they're about to do a show where's eric singer we started an hour no one's been able to find him all they're all looking for eric singer he's like, fuck it. Let's get the roadie in. Get him in makeup. We're just going to do the show without him. We're going to get the roadie to do it. They never show the roadie putting on makeup or anything getting ready. They were just like, oh, man. And then all of a sudden, Eric shows up backstage. He's all dressed up in makeup. And they're going on stage. And he looks over to Peter and goes, or to Paul Stanley, is Gene going to let me do Beth or not? And Paul goes, bro, just get up on stage, man. I don't think so.

Something like that. It's just all ridiculous, dude. Fake drama, and then he sings it. I didn't even get that far. It was ridiculous. It was ridiculous, man. Having them argue backstage about singing Beth. Ugh.

Ugh. Is there a way to do a reality show and not have fake shit? Yeah. Called no editing allowed. It's just one camera. But it might not be interesting. Yeah. You've got to have three cameras.

But to some people, I'd rather watch an hour that I know is 100% real than an hour that's, like you said, half just chopped up to make it sellable. That shit insults the fuck out of me. When I watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians and I see Bruce Jenner running around town trying to fucking meet a deadline or something stupid where I know it's not real, I'm like, come on, man. The fake show on my shit is done just all out of fun, man.

We want it fake. We do those fake. We're storing facial reactions and stuff from people and just putting them in. We're having fun with it. It's like all fake. What he's talking about is 10thplanetjiu-jitsu.com. He's got a thing called Mastering the System,

and it's like a fake jiu-jitsu reality show. Yeah. But there's real techniques in there, real techniques, but we just have fun with it. Mixed in with. Yeah, shenanigans. It's hilarious. Is the whole Hanatoato thing what is the deal

with that is that oh the latest episode that just went up yes he chokes me out he we get in a fight and he chokes me out and he puts me out and he leaves but do people have people figured out what's going on yet or do people think it's most people know it's fake but there's a small percentage like i just got someone a forum member from the day one this girl emailed me yesterday i said i you know i respect your you to death and all that but i have to know once and for all is the hinata thing real because i just gotta know either way if it's real it's real it's cool but if it's fake just let me know i just don't know like wow you don't know you know there's so much evidence people are piecing together like they're taking footage of Rwanda, days of our lives.

They're putting it on the form, and I just keep deleting it. Any evidence, I just delete. It's a tricky thing, man, when people fake it. When people fake anything. That video I just saw the other day of Alan Delcher punking you. You ever see that video? Yes. No, I haven't seen it.

You haven't seen it? There's a video of you punking him. You ever see that video? Yes. After you punked him. No, I haven't seen it. You haven't seen it? There's a video of you punking him at your school. Uh-huh. And then he punks you. Remember? Yes, I remember that. That was

Columbus, Philadelphia? Somewhere. Somewhere. But he got you. I knew it right away. I was like, no fucking way. I just thought he was crazy.

I go, this guy's nuts. I wasn't hearing what he was saying. I was just going, ooh. Because I always thought the first time I ever met Alan Belcher, it was after an awesome victory. I talked to him a little bit and invited him to my school.

I thought he was like a, I thought, man, this guy can snap. He seemed like a snapper. Like, he would just, like, I seen him. I'm like, damn, I'm, like, a little scared of him. I didn't really know him. It just, in the first time we met, he had just beat someone's ass. His lip was all fucked up, and it was quivering. He had a cut lip, and it was quivering.

And I'm like, dude, I would love to show you some rubber guard shit, and come on down to the gym. And for a second, I thought, man, this guy, he could snap on me. He ended up being a super fucking sweetheart. He's totally cool. I love Alan Belcher. But when he tried to punk me, what was the premise of it? I don't remember.

I remember he got mad about something. I don't remember. But I remember as soon as it started coming, as soon as it me, what was the premise of it? I don't remember. I remember he got mad about something. I don't remember. But I remember as soon as it started coming, as soon as it happened, he was screaming. I turned to the camera and went, no. Like he was trying to fight you?

No, no, no. It wasn't me. What was he saying? I was on the outside. I was on the outside. You were trying to keep him from getting mad about something. I think he was going to start a fight

with a bouncer or something. He was getting nuts with a bouncer and I was going, oh no, fuck, we got a crazy motherfucker on our head. He's going to fight a bouncer or something he was getting nuts with a bouncer and i was going oh no fuck we got a crazy motherfucker on our head he's gonna fight a bouncer right now that is a problem if you if you hang out with a certain number of mma fighters there's a few you know always one or two that's a loose cannon you never know a couple of drinks getting them shaking junie browning was at my school last night oh he's totally cool man i love junie browning but before my school last night. How's he doing? Oh, he's totally cool, man.

I love Junie Browning. But before I actually met him, he was the only guy ever that I saw on The Ultimate Fighter. And, you know, we're always backstage running into these guys all the time. And the new season comes on, I go, oh, I've got to remember these dudes because I'm going to be running into them all the time. I don't want to not know their names and feel like a total douchebag.

So I'm like watching the show, studying their fighting techniques, seeing what kind of fighter they are and what kind of personality they have. When they showed Junie Browning on top, I thought to myself, man, this guy can snap on anybody. I don't want to get to know this guy. I made the decision in my head, don't get close to that guy. Do you remember when you told him that? We were in Las Vegas. We were eating at the Nine at the Palms. Yes. And he was a really nice guy.

What happened was. And he was a big fan of yours. And I tried to avoid him. I didn't even want to talk to him. I just thought from the show they made him seem like a total lunatic, right? So, and Sean Tompkins trained him. And he just fucked somebody up on a spike show in Vegas. And we're at Nine.

The place is packed. I see Sean Tompkins walking towards me. I'm like, I love Sean Tompkins. So as soon as he came up, I like, you know, we gave each other a little hug. And I saw that, oh, damn, Junie Browning's right behind him and his buddy. So I hugged Sean Tompkins and kind of looked the other way, trying to pretend like I didn't notice Junie Browning. I'm going, fuck, man. Here he comes.

He's coming right for me. Shit, he's with Sean Tompkins I hear him right next to me he's like right over my shoulder and he almost passed me by but his buddy

from Kentucky said hey there's Eddie Bravo and I'm like oh shit he's gonna come up so he tapped me on the shoulder and I looked over and I was hey dude

what's going on dude great fight fuck and I'm thinking oh shit I'm actually talking to him holy shit what's gonna happen and then he goes

bro man we're always studying your books and smoking weed and on the mats with your book out. I do rubber guard. I got a good twister. And all of a sudden I'm like, whoa, this guy's a 10th planet fan. All of a sudden I got to give this guy a chance. Maybe I prejudged him. And he turned out to be a fucking cool guy, man. And he's know, he's thinking about moving to L.A. And to get away from Vegas. He's not partying anymore. He just wants to clean up his life and make a big comeback. Still a young kid, right, isn't he?

Yeah, he's funny as hell, dude. He's funny. That motherfucker's funny. He doesn't have to be drunk. After jujitsu, we hung out in the parking lot. And he made all of us laugh quite a few times he's got some witty ass shit man he's a cool dude he just you know he had a bad upbringing his dad used to beat the shit out of him and you're gonna come up you know you're gonna have a little

kinks you know a couple kinks that's all i mean we've run into so many guys over the years that started out like that and then eventually got their shit together you know one way or another i mean it's it's fun to watch guys like that evolve and become something better than what they were. Like Chris Lieben, perfect example of a guy who started

out as kind of a brawler and now he's like a fucking, like after he put Aaron Simpson away, he's like a seasoned motherfucker now. Triangled Akiyama. Yeah,

for real. Chris Lieben's a bad man. He's smart, man. And I believe that Junie Browning, I really believe that he's too smart to throw his life away. He's that smart. if he was an idiot he might just he might just keep

fucking well he would benefit from hanging around you man if he if you know you understand troubled childhoods and and and channeling that shit into you know something positive and being around positive people man that's the most important thing for having a positive life being around a bunch of other people that are on the same wavelength as you, and trying to do the same shit. And that's one of the cool things about Tenth Planet Jiu-Jitsu in Hollywood is that everyone is super positive

there. And it all trickles down from you. Thank you, sir. Well, you know that, right? I mean, it all trickles down from you. I mean, a lot of places, if you go to there, and the instructor's kind of douchey, and people can get douchey with each other, and there's none of douchey and people can get douchey with each other. There's none of that at our place. Everybody's very cool.

All I'm doing really is acknowledging that everyone has an ego. I have an ego. Everybody has an ego. And I just, every day I try to do things to keep that ego in check. Because if I don't, if I'm not consciously trying to keep it in check, sometimes it just pops up and fucks up. You know what I mean? So, you know, it rubs off on my students. My students are constantly, you know, if like their ego flares up, you know, they can catch themselves.

They can correct themselves. It's a lifelong process, man. You know, everybody has an ego and everyone struggles with it. This podcast is a part of that too, man. I've talked to a bunch of people that I've met all over the world. One of the most important ones was this kid that I met in Boston who was from Ireland who was explaining that, man, he goes, we don't have anybody like this near me. No one talks like this.

No one gives us this. There's no one around that's like a thinker this way, that thinks about life this way, that's open-minded. And he goes, and because of this podcast, it's making me reassess the way I evaluate life and reassess the way I talk and think about things. Having guys like you teaching jujitsu, having a podcast like this, it's like a serious connection we have to all these people. And they help me too, man. I've gotten a bunch of cool tweets from people and inspirational shit and cool articles that people tweeted me and

you know cool things that people post on the message board and it's all like a big thing together you know it's all a big thing everybody helping everybody else yeah it's so much fun every day i drive to class i remind myself on the way to class how lucky i am like i'm dry this is my job i mean i don't even look like look at like a mean, I don't even look at it like a job. Look at it like a job. Look at it like a job. Sorry. But, I mean, every day is a day off for me, man.

And I appreciate so much just going to class and everyone's just sitting there and they're waiting for me to teach them how to strangle in an efficient way. Like, how fucking lucky am I? I can't believe it. Every day, It's amazing. And the cool thing about jiu-jitsu for people who don't know is everybody's real friendly to each other, man. I mean, people catch people all the time in, you know,

in arm bars and chokes and shit like that. And, you know, you don't want to get caught, but there's no fight to ever break out. No bullshit ever happens. It's all just, you know, damn, I got caught. All right, what did I do wrong? Oh, you forgot to put your arm in. Oh, shit. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you know, it's it's a massive

misconception about jiu-jitsu that Jiu-jitsu classes are a bunch of meatheads their douchebags or dickheads and she think it's like we train in a cage It's a bunch of computer nerds that That are playing the ultimate virtual reality game because if you you're into video games and killing someone by pressing a button, but no one's really dying, but you enjoy that feeling, jujitsu is the ultimate virtual reality video game. It's where Wii is going to end up. The Wii is feeling more like a baseball bat,

like a golf club. How about you can actually kill people, theoretically, with jujitsu. You put someone in a choke, they tap out. It was like you killed them because if you didn't let them go, you would actually kill them. And you can learn, you can, it's anybody, there's so many jujitsu schools all over the world. You can learn how to systematically and scientifically break limbs and put people to sleep. There's like over 20 different ways you can put someone to sleep, just with the neck. There's probably more.

I'm just guessing. At least 20. All these different tricks. So many different variations of guillotines and darts and jacks. And it becomes just a really fun game, too. It's an amazing game. It's a killing game. I hurt my arm a couple of weeks ago.

arm like a couple of weeks ago you know but like you know for the most part when you get you go to you know you get involved in like like serious rolling with somebody everybody's fine at when it's over you know you get caught with something you just tap and 99 of the time you're fine every now and then you'll get something something will get tweaked or your knee will get twisted i know you had a knee problem that happened recently both my knees knees are fucked up. But it's so fun. You never think about stopping doing it. You just think, man, I can't wait for myself to heal up.

Exactly. So I can get back in. You're like, fuck. When you tweak something, you're like, god damn it, I'll probably be out in a couple weeks. Shit.

And it's just fun. It's so much fun. I mean, think about this. You have to work out. Everybody has to work out. If you're in perfect shape, you have to maintain.

You have to keep working. Everybody has to work out. If you're in perfect shape, you have to maintain. You have to keep working out. Why not work out and learn how to take people out, put them to sleep at the same time? And it's the ultimate video game. It's exercise. You learn some serious self-defense that can come up at any time in your life. It's valuable, and it gives you so much confidence, and it's so much fun. It kills video games. time in your life it's valuable and it gives you so much confidence and it's so much fun it kills video games it's like there's and then you meet a lot of great people that have their ego in check

because if you don't have if you don't have your ego in check then you those people don't survive jujitsu the tapping is the ego a douchebag filter the tapping because dudes that are just just their ego it's where their ego rules them they can't jump on the mat and get tapped out they run from it or they get on the edge of the mats are like no way am i gonna let people tap me out and and they don't really don't know what's going on but subconsciously the fear of being dominated and tapping out by losing looking like a weakling that scares people away you got to look at it like you're just learning of course you're going to get tapped out in the beginning and the the more you come, the more dedicated you are,

as time passes, you start tapping dudes out occasionally. But still, you're usually tapping. You're a beginner. But ultimately, one or two years, man, you can minimize those taps. And you're learning. If you did jujitsu for two years, the odds are in a street fight, one-on-one, the odds are way on your side, way on your side. You know, anybody could, anything could happen in a street fight, but man, a guy that's trained jujitsu two years against a guy who has zero training on the ground. Hmm. Another great aspect of it is that it calms down your body and it makes you realize how much of an influence stress and just the fact that we have this ancient chimpanzee hardware in our system our bodies are set up for hunting and gathering and carrying things and our bodies are set up to exert a certain amount of

energy and if you don't exert a certain amount of energy with your body your body starts to betray you and you start to get really stressful and start to snap at things that you wouldn't ordinarily snap at or you shouldn't rationally be upset about. It allows you to put things into perspective. It calms your body down. That's very important, man. Yeah, I mean... Are you saying jiu-jitsu is better than Quake?

Are you going to start that? There's a bunch of people who put a bunch of videos of cool video games that are out there, man. Fuck. To try to tell me that there's all these different video games.

Man, there's some insane shit. There's this one. I don't know the name of it but they were uh it was like it looked like they were in the jungle and they were like near some like it looked like some mayan temples and shit the graphics are insane russian attack i don't know what it is man i don't know what it is i don't remember what it was someone put just you know a demo up and then someone put crisis i bet i don't know what it was but the demo was insane and then crisis was another one was pretty

interesting a bunch of dudes running around shooting people but then I put a video I went to watch a video of quake online and I go back to what I

said nothing can fuck with quake it's just I understand that these games are beautiful I understand these games have all these cool things you can do there's the

latest version of quake though right it's quake 4 yeah all I want to do is fuck people up in one-on-one death matches yeah. All I want to do is fuck people up in one-on-one death matches. That's what I like to do. But yeah,

you're, I don't know, it's not even talking. I understand what you're saying, man. No, I'm just saying that if you like death matches, they've taken the formula of death matches

and just added on to it for like the last 15, 20 years or whatever. How long? Well, Quake 3 was, I mean, Quake 4 was 2000 something. It was like 2005 or 2006.

All right, so for the last five, six months. Maybe I should, I might not be correct about that. But they've just taken the formula. They even used the same engine on Call of Duty when it first came out, and they've just improved it, improved it, improved it. And, like, a lot of these games, like, last week I wasn't talking about, like, keyboard and mouse necessarily is better than controller argument. My point is that the games are better now the

games are better now they're not geared towards the accuracy of a keyboard and mouse as much as they are geared for just having a fun experience right video game yeah there's a lot of auto aim going on well people do those driving games it's just easier to people still do those driving games yeah yeah totally to me though what what's fun to me about video games i understand all that but what's fun to me is just i got addicted straight up to one-on-one matches and even like team death matches you know just the fact that you have this incredibly precise control over the environment you're more like the pool statistic version of the video games exactly i mean it's all just that's a very. Yeah, most people like to play football games

and the controller is perfect for that. Right. With Quake games, those one-on-one first-person shooters are just so precise. It's so addictive, man.

When you were talking about was your cousins addicted to games? No, my nephew. Nephew. Man, when I was a little kid, if they'd hit me with some Quake,

I would have lost my life. I would have never got into martial arts. I would have never got productive with my life. I would have never paid attention in school. Joe, there's a game on Steam that you can play on your Mac

that has nothing to do with it, but I want you to, next time you're bored and you just want to spend, because it's a really short game, so you can't get addicted to it. Literally, you could beat it in six hours. Really? But it's called Portal.

Six hours? Jesus, I ain't got six hours. I got kids, motherfucker. No, no, I mean, but six hours spread out for like months. That's an addiction right there. That game alone will set your mind racing to how crazy video games are nowadays. So what is the best one right now? If I wanted to get something for like an Xbox and something that was just going to blow my fucking mind, Gears of War?

For you, I would probably go with more of like a borderlands or something like that but i would i would actually find a game that you could play on your mac you know uh like a game like call of duty that you can play i think you call of duty 4 is on there and there's a couple scenes from call of duty 4 that will blow your fucking mind you know just that red there's a red one red something cowboy one uh don't get that that shit what is it that's just grand theft auto but using a horse and cowboy what's it called it's called red dead dawn or something like that i gave it a chance but i was like all right this is grand theft auto i don't want to play anymore that was a hugely successful game though super you know it's just people like that

formula and i'm sure it's bigger and better than grand theft auto but for me i just played it and i'm like i'm done with that i don't want to play that anymore. I'm over that. They say that EA martial arts game is a bust. Nobody's buying it. Really? Really. I still haven't played the UFC. Do you have like a box of... Yeah, I got one.

I'll give you one. Cool. There's a new one we're working on right now. Joey Diaz. Who do you think this is? Joey Diaz. What the fuck? Pick up the phone, cocksucker.

That's not what happened. Go back to that Alex Jones transcript. So your call's gone. That's Brian Callen. Brian Callen must have just gotten to the tank right before we were going to do the podcast. He was about to get in the tank for the first time. Oh, that was Brian?

Here? No, not here. No, at the place in Venice, the headquarters, floatlab.com. So I think what we got out of today is that Eddie Bravo loves UFOs. I love them.

And Jiu Jitsu. I love them like bunnies. And Brian loves cats. And one hit of weed instead of three. You got too high today? No, no. I'm just saying

that I liked my high today. Yeah. One hit. I think that's all I need. No, no more than two. And two, if there are going to be two, it's two light ones.

Your shit fucking fucked me up this weekend, by the way. We smoked before we went on stage. We should talk about that. We smoked and then Joey Diaz told me five minutes later going, why did I put you up on stage? I'm like, what? It sold out. Joe Rogan show? No!

I was completely baked out of my mind the first couple of days. What we did this weekend, what was different, was we took Esther on the road. It was little Esther, who's Brian's friend, who's an emerging stand-up comedian in L.A., and she's only 22 years old. She's only been doing comedy like two years.

And we just said, well, let's just fucking, just for an experiment, see what it's like to take this kid and throw her up in front of a real crowd. She did great, too. Yeah, she killed it. Little Esther.com.com dude she's fucking good man she's confident and smooth and for someone who's only been doing comedy for two years she's way better than i was two years into it and i told her that when i was two years into it i was a mess i was a clunky fucking goofy mess she's is it okay that she's is she known for looking really young yeah yeah that's one of her characters.

Yeah, she looks like she's 12. Seriously. What's her name? Esther? Little Esther. Little Esther. Her feet, seriously, are smaller than my hands. But smell like they're twice as big.

Whoa. Just kidding. What the fuck, bro? Why are you throwing her under the bus, man? She's funny, man. She was funny. She did a good job. And you did a good job, too, man.

It was interesting watching you loosen up from the first set you did on Thursday night to the last set you did on Saturday night, which was your best one. Right. You slowly got a chance. I have something to admit to you, Joe. That second set Saturday, I acted like I smoked marijuana before I went on stage, before I went on stage. The second set?

You remember before we all smoked? Oh, you didn't really smoke? No. Because I was like, no. And you were like, do it, do it. And I'm like, no, I don't want to. All right. So the best show that you had was the one where you weren't high.

Right. You weren't high at all? No, high at all. You must have been a little high still from the first time. But that was like three hours. So it had leveled off. It was because you were nervous. Weed isn't that great when you're nervous, man.

And he realized that. That you were probably high and got paranoid. Well, I was getting high and then going on stage like five minutes later. That's not a good mix for me. It's not a good mix for the podcast either. Before, we've done, many times,

we get high right before we do the podcast, like today. The first words out of my mouth were like, they don't come out that good. But like right now, we're two hours in,

it's all smooth. But once you're killing and you're really confident and you can't wait to go on stage, then the weed will take it to the roof. Yeah, but even then,

you gotta make sure you don't get too high. I think Red Bull and vodka, one or two of them before on stage, then the weed will take it to the roof. Yeah, but even then, you've got to make sure you don't get too high. I think Red Bull and vodka, one or two of them before on stage, is the key ingredient for stand-up comedy. One or two Red Bulls and vodka? Red Bull vodkas, yeah. I like a little bit of weed and some calisthenics.

Yeah, my best teaching always comes from me being high when I teach, because I'm so confident with it that it adds to it. I'll be pissed off. I don't have weed right now, and I didn't teach class today, Stone. This morning, I didn't teach class.

I felt pretty good. I mean, I feel it was a good class, but I always feel like when I'm high, it's just, like I don't want the class to end. I want her to keep going. I want more time. When I'm in that space and in that zone, like, shit, I'm time there's so much i got to say and show when we did the alex jones show uh we got high in the car right before we went in there really high we went like three hits alex jones show would be cool high though well it's it's bewildering though because when we walked

in you know i walked in joe they're about to de uh dev the dollar. They're going to take the dollar away. It's been proven. It's here in Forbes. They're X-raying your home. They're driving by in vans, and they're taking photos of you irradiating your house with deadly radiation that can give cancer. These poor people. So it's like you go from right out of the car. Everybody's laughing. We're talking shit.

We're breaking down country music. There was like some ridiculous country music song. You know, but lonely girls make the best lovers. Remember that? What's that shit? I don't know. We were laughing our asses off

and then you go right in there. Death, destruction, new world order, elites, global warming. What was he saying about radiation and all that shit?

Oh, dude, this is a crazy fucking real thing they're doing where they're driving through neighborhoods and they're blasting these cars with these super powerful x-rays from these vans. And they're looking inside vehicles. They have photos of this shit. It was in Forbes magazine.

He pulls up the story and shows it to me and they're doing it to houses too. They just drive by and point this fucking crazy x-ray gun at cars and see right through them. They show all these photos of people looking at bricks of cocaine in the back of a van. I'm like, this is nuts, man. They can shoot x-rays. It just makes me really wonder, though, how people go on the radiation, exactly how strong it is.

Because the other day I was talking to my dentist, and he said this radiation is about equal to standing next to a microwave. That's what he said? Yeah, something like that. I forget. I don't know what it is. So you should wear a lead vest when you microwave some popcorn? I don't know. I don't know what that's for.

But he said it's not that big a deal. That's why he's not wearing a lead vest. Well, the crazy thing is that there's radiation around us all the time, right? There's radiation coming from space. Like your cell phone is microwaving your brain every time you put it up to you. Yeah, no one knows around us all the time, right? Right. Like your cell phone. There's radiation coming from space. It's microwaving your brain every time you put it up to your ear. Yeah, no one knows what's happening with those, right? Yeah. What happens, though, when you're in your car, though, and you've got to hands-free?

Is that okay? Well, not when you have your phone between your crotch, when you're driving. You're cooking your dick. There was a study released recently that said that laptops cook your balls. Oh, yeah. They cook your sperm. That's right. Totally.

Makes your sperm ineffective. If you have your laptop on your lap? Yeah, you're cooking your balls. But not up there. No, no. No, no. That's what I, that's what I, totally. Makes your sperm ineffective. If you have your laptop on your lap. Yeah, you're cooking your balls. Yep. But not up there. No, no,

it's just on your lap. it's because of the heat. The heat. Yeah. It cooks your balls. Yeah, I never put my laptop on my lap. Yeah,

I got this thing for that very reason. It's like, I got this little pad that like sits on the laptop. It makes it more comfortable anyway, because the bottom is like soft, so it sort of molds to your legs. And with that note do you got that italian uh song no it wasn't it says uh youtube user does not allow mobile

views or something like that what yeah so sad is this it would have been the perfect ending what is this you're playing fat boy slim again another fat boy slim well it's the same thing it's like it sounds like you love him it's like a two hour if you go to his website it's called fat boy slim summer mix and it's just a free download it's like a i think you love him like eddie loves ufos i think i do too not that much all right ladies and gentlemen thank you for tuning into the podcast next week um we're in uh ann arbor michigan it's me and tommy segura at uh the ann arbor comedy showcase um you're gonna have to find

where that shit is i don't know where it is it's like an hour from detroit but we're doing two shows one eight and ten thirty it's on my twitter it's on joe rogan.net um thank you to the flesh light for sponsoring this podcast as always you can go to joe rogan.net and enter into the code i believe is rogan right yep rogan and you get 15 off so you can fuck that shit yo best thing ever You can go to joerogan.net and enter into the code, I believe it's Rogan, right? Yep, Rogan. And you get 15% off, so you can fuck that shit, yo. It's the best thing ever. Eddie Bravo, thank you very much for coming on, as always, my friend. And if people want to reach you, 10thplanetjj.com.

That's it. And on Twitter, it's at Eddie Bravo. And, of course, Brian Redban, at Redban. If you want to tell little Esther that you were in Austin, Texas, and you thought she was awesome and you were so proud of her, she's Little Esther.

Listen to her on Adam Carolla tomorrow. Oh, okay. When is that? I don't know. She's blowing the fuck up. The kid's blowing up. She's on Adam Carolla.

We had her here first, bitch. We took her on the road. Yeah, she's talented. Something's going to happen. Joey Diaz is Mad Flavor on Twitter. Thank you everybody. That's it. We'll see youz is MadFlavor on Twitter. Thank you everybody.

That's it. We'll see you next week. Love you, bitches. See you. Later.