The Joe Rogan Experience - #547 - Joe DeRosa

Episode Date: September 10, 2014

Joe DeRosa is an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer, director, editor and writer. Look for his podcast available at JoeDeRosaComedy.com and also check out his new album "Mistakes Were Made: The B-Sides".

Here we go. The Joe Rogan experience. I like that chick, I miss her. Wow, that's the worst one ever. Congratulations. I didn't think you could fuck it up any more than that. I mean, it started off bad, the middle was bad, there was fucking two of them playing at the same time, and it ended abruptly. Everything was wrong.

Congratulations. If you did that in a movie if you planned out the worst intro music for a podcast in a movie you fucking it sounded Like you just took a random part out of like a Primus It's like a snippet from a Primus song where it would have made sense in the whole picture But just the the clip you're like it doesn't make sense Yeah, it's the kind of funny story that one of getting resolved but Jamie called me the other day to tell me that one of my videos got taken down from the internet because someone used my words, like my voice, in a song and then copyrighted it. Really?

Yeah, they copyrighted my voice. So when my voice, the original version of that, was online, they put a copyright hit against me for my own voice christ that is unbelievable it was so hilarious i mean it got resolved like when i started tweeting about it like what the man like this i don't know the details i don't know what the dude was thinking how he thought he could copyright my own voice what was the song it's like i don't know i didn't even listen to the song i heard the beginning of it where it sounds you know you there's a video that this guy um did uh called um american what's called the american war machine american war machine paradigm shift on youtube really cool guy met him in vancouver very nice guy very talented guy too did this video it's

really cool it's it's combining a bunch of rants with all this video of war stuff and okay stuff about u.s history and how crazy the military industrial complex is and the beginning of it is this this rant that this guy took and put on his song then he copy wrote it like he didn't even change the fucking music that my friend tosh had put on the thing he didn't even change the fucking music That my friend Tosh Had put on the thing He didn't even change it He just took that chunk Put it in his song and said this is mine

It's like the shittiest version of buying a domain name To resell it I own your domain name Like Pepsi Spice Brian owned Pepsi Spice Do you remember when Pepsi Spice came out It was one of his best pranks ever I swear to god I thought it was one of the Spice Girls when you said that I didn't know Pepsi spice was this horrendous idea. It's like someone decided to like let's make Pepsi but spicy

So like yeah, that's up? Is it up anywhere? Can you see all that stuff that you did? There's pieces of it. God damn, dude. You got to put that up in a blog. You should put it up in a blog. I think we shot it with a gun. Oh, did we when we blew up the hard drives?

So this is what he did. I'll tell you the whole story. He took pepsispice.com. He bought the domain name because this is in like, what was it, like 2000? That was a long time, 10 years ago or something like that. It might have been earlier. It might have been before FearFest. I don't think you were working for me, man.

No, I was. It was right when I moved here. Okay. Okay, so this is what he did. He bought pepsispice.com before they did, and then he started putting up a daily blog about how he's eating nothing but Pepsi Spice, and his health was rapidly deteriorating in these hysterical, cataclysmic ways. It was so funny, man.

We were going to it every day, and the Pepsi Spice people were fucking shitting their pants. Like, what is this? And it was before anyone understood the internet. No high-level executives in Pepsi or any of those major corporations, or very few of them, understood the internet, no high-level executives in Pepsi or any of those major corporations, or very few of them, understood the internet. Right. If they did, they would have bought pepsispice.com way before they released it. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they didn't. That's crazy. So he puts this fucking blog up about him shitting blood and he's down to 120 pounds now. And it's open. It's all open. Yes, what were the things that you said? Do you remember?

I remember I had open sores everywhere, and I was really good at Photoshop back then, so no one even knew that there was fake Photoshop so much. So I had pictures of me with these big bloody things. I was hanging out with Lindsay Lohan snorting mushrooms. It was called Mocaine, where we would crush up mushrooms and snort. I love it.

It was so ridiculous. Would you write the blog like if you were the way a stranded island diary would read? Like day 36. Yeah, I did. It was just because it was after that movie supersized me. So I pretty much just made it like this. Like the seventh day, I'm starting to cough up a lot of stomach acid and stuff like that. And then it just got worse and worse.

And I think I ended up dying at the end. I never finished it. Did they ever buy the domain from you? No. I owned it for a while. But then after a while, you have a domain that no one even knows what Pepsi Spice is anymore. So they never purchased it from you or told you to take it down? No, because they stopped selling Pepsi Spice.

It didn't mean anything. Here's some of it. So last night, Lindsay Lohan. I can't read it. stopped selling pepsi spice i didn't mean anything here's that's here's here's some of it that's i can't read it it's all blurry on that it's about doing mokane and then i just finished my last two later this guy just get mokie for health reasons it was really funny man that's really great it was funny, man. Oh, I got clogged armpits. That was one of the things. I couldn't sweat. Yeah.

Oh, that's great. I love it. And it was believable. Like, nothing was too over the top at first. It seemed so normal. And then as his journal got deeper and deeper, it got more and more fucked up. I love it. It was really ridiculous.

That's incredible. And it was a spicy, it was a holiday spicy, not like a buffalo wings. Yeah, right. Spicy, right? It was like a cinnamon-y kind of a thing. It was like he had too much ginger or something. It was nasty. I hate spiced anything.

I think spiced rum is disgusting. Like, if I'm drinking with somebody and they're like, I'll take a Captain and Coke, I'm just like, get out of my face. You're a you're a fucking idiot what's that thing that you you gave me the other day at the ice house that super spicy liquor shot that we did what the hell was that oh fireball fireball yeah yeah disgusting i kind of like it's great and it's great because you know you take one before you hit the road and it's like you you help your breath and everything yeah yeah just keep some in the glove compartment before you get pulled over i mean you know hold on a second officer

yeah people think that like that stuff makes your breath taste good but basically anything that's alcohol makes your breath taste like shit because once it goes in your stomach your stomach is like what is this and that's when the disgusting breath comes up i don't like any of those like i here's the weird part i love jagermeister jagermeister is my favorite shot on the planet earth jagger bombs like the white trash that i truly am really jagger bombs are my favorite shot on the planet what do we have here right now, Jamie? Let's do some shots.

I'm off the booze. Are you totally? 100%? Not forever. I have fatty liver right now, so I had to stop drinking. Alright, we won't do shots. God damn it. You guys can do one, though. Brian and I will do one shot. You want to do one, Jamie? I'm going to really regret not doing this with you in a week when I fall off the wagon.

You should have just drank with the guys last week. What's fatty liver? It means you have fat in your liver. How did that happen? Probably from drinking and eating poorly for all these years. I mean, this was my... I'm in the... And I'm not in great shape.

This is the best shape I've ever been in right now. Like, what you see. Why is that funny? Why are you laughing at the man he's making progress and brian's like um yeah this is this is the best shape i've ever been in uh which isn't saying much but i mean for years dude for years like my lifestyle was get completely shit face four or five nights a week go home get and i would do this night after night.

Get like a double meat cheesesteak, Doritos, chocolate cake, and a soda, and literally lay in my bed wasted eating it and just pass out. I would do that night after night after night. I smoked. It was just, I think, after a while. I dabbled in the drugs here and there. I think after a while, just kind of a little bit, a little bit, it catches up. I'll try some Jameson since it's got a bunch of signatures on it.

Who signed on that thing? Courtesy of Bert. Oh, it's Christ you brought it over. Yeah. There you go. He writes on the bottle so you know it's getting you hammered. New York is kind of like that though, right? New York is a place where a lot of people, Ari and I were talking about this last night,

people go out after the shows and they drink. It's the fucking greatest. I miss it, dude. It was such an adventure, man. It was such an adventure. I remember having nights in New York where literally at like, you do a set, it'd be a Tuesday, and you do a set, you'd finish. It'd be like 9.30. You'd be like, that's Tuesday.

There's nothing going on. This is done. I'm going to go home. And then somebody would be like, hey, you know, though, I heard so-and-so might be having a little thing. Do you want to just go over real quick and just check out what's happening? You know, across the way at the such-and-such bar? And you'd go over, and the next thing you know, dude, it at the such and such bar, and you'd go over, and the next thing you know, dude,

it's 5 a.m., and there's been, you know, blow and whiskey, and you're wasted, and you're fucking a girl, and it's the greatest, man. Fuck, that sounds good. It's the greatest.

I've never even done blow, and I want to do it now. You're just like, where did this night come from? It just, that never happens in LA. Oh, yes, it does. You need to hang around the comedy store. Are you fucking crazy?

When does a wild night happen out here? You got to drive goddamn home every night. You can't. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah, it's a different animal. And the bar's closer too. You know, it's.

It's definitely a different animal. But like, I mean, that was, like, the whole deal about the store was Coke, right? I mean, those... The Kinison days...

I talked to Marin again last night because Marin was at Ari's TV show taping. Ari's got a new TV show on Comedy Central called This Is Not Happening. Yeah, yeah, I know.

And Marin did a story last night, and him and I talked again about the Kinison days, about doing blow with Kinison to the point where he heard voices in his head for a year.

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? That's scary. He was a young kid. He was a young kid hanging out at the store, and he was partying with Kinison and working at the store. That's the difference between,

and I'm not trying to shit on LA, but that's the difference between LA drugs and New York drugs. New York drugs are like Wolf of Wall Street. Hey, it's a fucking party. We're at the beach. We're going to the Hamptons. We're at a bar. Go home, pass out, get up, hit your job tomorrow.

LA drugs, it feels like River Phoenix. There's a darkness. There's a darkness to it. It's something, there's something out here that feels much more like stripper fucking C.C. DeVille, you know? C.C. DeVille. He pulls out a poison reference. Do you know what I mean though?

Yeah. It's just something, it's, I don't know. And I'm not, I'm not doing a New York versus LA thing, but like. It's different for sure. New York didn't feel like that. New York just felt way more just like, hey, it's in the neighborhood. Do it. Hey, fuck it.

I never lived in the city, so I didn't get that thing out of New York because when I first moved to New York, I needed a car because I was doing road gigs, and the only way I could make a living was to do the road. I couldn't do the whole 15 shows in a night like do a seven minute spot here seven and then add up the ten dollar whatever the fuck you would get from each set because a lot like a tell used to do that he would do 10 15 sets a night all these little seven minute sets yeah and run all over the place and do it and just take cabs and stuff and that was life yeah but i i was getting these road gigs and that was the only way I was paying my money paying my bills

So I lived in New Rochelle So for me, I didn't do that that whole live in the city take cabs or take the subway everywhere Oh, I could totally get that though. Oh, dude. It was It was just yeah, New York New York it like when you live because I lived all over New York for nine years I was I started in Queens Then I was up in Harlem. You were in Harlem? Yeah. Why would you fuck any black chicks?

Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Not because of Harlem. Just because. Talk to daddy. Talk to daddy. What do you want to know?

I've bagged them all shapes and sizes. Powerful John DeRosa. Look at that. The kid's getting around. What's your favorite spot to live? I had a great time in every place I lived. My least favorite was Queens, not because of Queens, but I had a fun time in Queens.

I lived with Jay Oakerson out there, and it was fun, but we lived in like a very... He was living with his baby's mother at the time, and they had a kid, and i was living with them which was fine it was actually very nice but we were in like a very like sort of neighborhood-y suburban part of queens there wasn't anything you could like walk to or do yeah so that's the only reason i didn't like it um harlem was fun because it was my first time being on the island and it was wild i had these irish neighbors and you i mean any night of the week you just knock on their door

and it you know and it's 4 a.m and they're partying oh dude it was nuts it was fucking crazy the irish and they were crazy they were so crazy i'm rachel feinstein who's one of my close friends and a really funny comic and obviously jewish i brought her out one night with one of the irish guys used to live next door to and i'm like you're gonna love this guy he's great he's nuts and we're hanging out for a while at this bar. And she comes over to me. She's like, okay, I'm going to go. And I go, why?

She's like, your Irish friend is telling me that the numbers of the Holocaust were greatly exaggerated. Oh, God. Is he an Irish from Ireland? Is that what you're saying? Oh, yeah. No. Okay. So, hi, the fucking Jews.

There's a bunch of lies, a bunch of shite. He wasn't saying it like that. He wasn't saying it like, the fucking Jews, there's a bunch of lies, a bunch of shite. He wasn't saying it like that. He wasn't saying it like, you fucking liars. There was somehow a strange sense of sympathy in his voice, as he was also saying he thought the numbers were exaggerated. But the point is that he was just a fucking lunatic. There was no filter on his brain. He wasn't saying it like,

God damn it, I'm sick of hearing about it. It was just shit would just leak out of his mouth. He was saying it like, Have you ever really thought about it? Let's think about it. It's like, no, let's not think about it. Let's just not talk about it. That's one you can't fuck with.

No. Some dude sent me this fucking email. Can you refute this video? Whenever someone sends you a YouTube video on anything, you got to go, okay, with no some dude sent me this fucking email can you refute this video which is whenever someone sends you a youtube video on anything you gotta go okay is there is there other shit out there are there books have scientists look at this have scholars studied this like you sent me a youtube video you know i'm gonna i'm gonna listen to it but since i'm not an expert on the holocaust i don't know what the fuck exactly you know what's wrong in this video but it was like they're

talking about how different places couldn't be actually used for gas chambers and it was bullshit. They actually, a guy ruined his career because of this. I watched that documentary. It was Dr. Death. That documentary is amazing. Fantastic documentary. It's called Dr. Death.

Yeah. And it's about this guy who was a, he was an engineer for these execution devices and these i don't know let's you know holocaust deniers holocaust revisionists whatever you'd want to call them i mean i don't think they were denying the holocaust but they were saying that it was exaggerated yeah and this guy went over there and because of these people he gave this really fucked up inaccurate unscientific assessment of certain famous sites yeah we're fucking hundreds of thousands of people documented were murdered yeah and he was saying that it couldn't have happened and then it just his you know yeah he went to court over that yeah and then he lost his family it was his whole life it

was it he was devastated it's not something you can be wrong about. No, no. You don't want to roll the dice on the Holocaust. You know what I mean? But you know what's fucked, man? You know what's fucked? Yeah. There's other Holocausts that people don't even know about, like the Armenian Genocide. Right.

I didn't even know about the Armenian Genocide. It's a true story until I was in the Octagon interviewing Manny Gamburian. And I think you could tell by Manny Gamburian's name, he might be Armenian. And Manny's a you know great MMA fighter and uh he's you know he's very proud to be from Armenia and he was talking about the uh anniversary it was like he won on the anniversary of the Armenian genocide he was talking about like like raising awareness for Armenian genocide I was like I don't even know what this is and then I looked into it. It's just fucking horrible, horrible. Yeah, I didn't know about that either.

More than a million dead. I mean, it's just a terrible, terrible, terrible story. Yeah, yeah. I was driving. I live on the east side, and I was driving. I was writing on a TV show for a little while, and I was driving to work one morning, and I couldn't get to work because there was so much traffic.

And I was just like what the fuck is going on it's it's 9 45 a.m on Hollywood Boulevard why is this so backed up and then I saw people like walking around with these shirts on that said our wounds are still open whoa and I'm I feel like a real I know I'm an asshole before I say this I thought it was some kind of record release thing and I was getting so mad i thought like a rapper was having like a release day i was like what the fuck is going on and it was still open our mouth are closed our fingers is moving i rustle my toes oh my dick is pretty. My teeth is gold. You try to buy my album, but the shit's already sold.

Out. Son. Freestyle. 2014. Much love. Guess what? That's not what it was, dude. No way.

What was it? It was for the anniversary of the armenian genocide because i was driving through little armenia and i didn't know and then i got to work and somebody was like this is what this is and i was like oh jesus i felt so bad man it's scary shit man when you hear about stuff like that and you're like wait a minute that was 1915 1915 armenian civilians escorted by armed by armed Ottoman soldiers are marched through to a prison in nearby Mezrich. Present day Alagurch. It's impossible to pronounce.

1915. Between a million and 1.5 million people were murdered. Wow. Yeah. 24th of April, 1915. were murdered wow yeah 24th of april 1915 now do you think the other ones don't get mentioned like this one for instance because they they are so small in size compared to the number of deaths with the jewish holocaust i don't know because jewish holocaust is like six million this is a 1.5 which it was a ton of people but i mean you know i don't know i wonder if that's why it gets

they they all get so overshadowed it's a good question i mean um i don't know i wonder if that's why it gets they they all get so overshadowed it's a good question i mean um i don't look it's anytime it's that's a lot of fucking people 1.5 million people i can't imagine how it could ever be overshadowed i just i'm ashamed that i learned about it while i was talking to somebody yeah well that's that's even that's why i asked the question because it's like i don't even i can't justify in my head how something like that would get overshadowed, other than, I guess maybe this other one was so much bigger. I don't know, man. Maybe it's because the Jews control the media, Joe DeRosa. They know how to spread a story.

It's kind of like when Farrah Fawcett died, but then Michael Jackson died on the same day. He got all the press. They died on the same day? They died on the same day, and Farrah Fawcett died, but then Michael Jackson died on the same day. He got all the press. They died on the same day? They died, like, on the same day, and Farrah Fawcett got nothing. Remember that? Poor Farrah. I know it's a trite parallel to draw, but... She didn't even fuck any kids, allegedly.

I know. I know. I'm not convinced he did, still. I'm still not convinced he did. I have a theory. It's a very bad theory. I'm going to tell you right now. If you're Joe Rogan's a moron, I agree with you.

Okay, I'm on your side. I think I'm a moron too. But I think there's a possibility that he might have been what they call a castrata. Do you know what a castrata is? Yeah. Castrata music, I think I'm saying it right, is a type of music where they would castrate young boys. And they would castrate young boys so that they would sing this incredible pitch that didn't sound manly at all it's very bizarre it's very freaky you can hear it online haven't we played it on the podcast before let's play some just for derosis because

he's never heard it before okay but there's a style of music that was created by castrating boys because when you remove their testicles they don't produce testosterone and they have this weird sort of you know it's this uh androgynous sort of sound to their voice and it's a it's it's feminine but like a little bit masculine and it's very similar to how michael jackson is if you see michael jackson's brothers yeah they look manly as fuck and they sound manly yeah they sound manly he stayed really slender he stayed like a guy who had no testosterone he didn't look like a man who had testosterone he was really slender i think this is a great theory it's not a bad theory i think it might have happened to me by the way well it's also the thing about these

men or these these they're men now but they say that they were molested by michael jackson no one says he fucked them no it was all like weird touching stuff yeah and i i don't i don't think there was anything going on there i think that's why he longed for childhood i mean it's a terrible theory again i'll tell you right now it's not backed by any facts i don't think it's a terrible theory but listen this is a castrata this is a long time ago by the way this is like 19 was in 19 early 1900s yeah these recordings i mean they don't do this anymore unless i don't know about it but there's there's something to michael jackson's voice when you listen to the way he would sing that fuck man that doesn't sound like any guy I've ever heard.

No. No. It's Why Tell him that it's human nature Why Why Does she do it that way

I tried to do Thriller once at karaoke and I almost had a fucking aneurysm. Yeah. It's so high. Yeah. It's so like you can't

try to sing it try Try to sing the chorus. Cause it's a thriller. No, without. And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike. But do it without doing the falsetto. I can't. You didn't sing it in falsetto. Just try. I can't fucking sing anyway.

Okay, this is terrible. Here we go. Because this is thriller. Because this is thriller. And no one's Because this is three of us! Three of us! And now I'm trying to save you from the pizza. No, I can't sing. Yeah, you're doing falsetto. Well, I can't do anything else. Yeah, that's what...

I can't sing. It's impossible. It's impossible to hit those notes. Like, dude, it's past Geddy Lee. It's like way past Geddy Lee. Well, Geddy Lee, who I love, still sounds like an odd man. I love Rush. I love him.

But when you listen to, like, Living in the Limelight, when he's singing that song, he sounds like an odd man. Right. It doesn't sound like something that can't be achieved. When you hear Michael Jackson sing, you go, something's going on here. And I can't fucking put my finger on it. It's not male. No, yeah. It sounds womanly. Well, I mean on it it's not it's not male no yeah it sounds

womanly well i mean it's it's and that's forever been the joke about him well i think i think there might be something to my stupid theory and i think it's because i have this connection with i have this like weird thing about him because i've always wanted to know like what makes a person want to stay a child because i've always been accused rightly so of being immature i'm very immature but it's almost on purpose right because when i grew up i saw these people that were mature that were living these mature lives and they were fucking miserable man they suffered all day there was no reward they came home to a wife they hated they lived a shit life and a lot of them died young i just i saw it in front of me i didn't want to do this i tried to figure out every way i could to rebel against work and i remember seeing like this guy and seeing michael

jackson how brilliant he was but how odd it was and how he always had like these amusement park rides at his house and he invited little kids over and i'm like what was wrong it's beautiful that the guy wanted to help kids it's beautiful the guy always worked with these people that were sick and these kids that were dying it is beautiful but what was it that connected him so much to childlike things like why was he so childlike why did he never have i mean he had children but they weren't really his children they were white kids they're still they're fully white kids. If you look at him today, you can say, well, these didn't come from his DNA.

They might have been his children, but. Yeah, it's very odd. It's very odd also how much his children are out of the limelight. There's no connection with them to Michael Jackson. No, none. None whatsoever. Which is good. I mean, they're just kids.

They don't, you know, they don't deserve it. whatsoever which is good i mean they're just kids they don't you know they don't deserve it it i do think it is good but i mean even like with with other celebrities that attempted to keep the kid out of the spotlight like you know eminem doesn't aside from talking about her doesn't like put his daughter out there right uh and he's like staunchly opposed to it yet we all kind of know what she looks like we all know who she is, if you saw her. The same thing with the Cobain and Courtney Loves kid. But Michael Jackson, it's like I couldn't pick those kids out of a fucking lineup. Well, that's good.

I hope that that's because the family sheltered the kids from all the crazy people. I mean, you want to talk crazy people. Michael Jackson was a star on a level that we can't even begin to comprehend no i mean this is a guy who couldn't leave the fucking house if he left the fucking house there would be a swarm of people yeah i you know i met a girl one more round sir let's do this again yes brian you're going in i'll't be a pussy. I knew a girl that knew Britney Spears. Whoa. Like, in recent years, I mean.

And I was like, what's she like? And she goes, she's really down to earth. She goes, she's really cool considering especially who she is. And she was like, dude, she literally can't go anywhere in the entire world without being known. Like, I can't even fathom that. Stanhope is buddies with Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp's a Stanhope fan. Johnny Depp contacted Stanhope about some project and got together and started hanging out with him in England.

And he realized when they were hanging out, he goes, oh, he can't go anywhere. Like, he can't go anywhere. He doesn't go anywhere. He brings a chef over to his home. anywhere like you can't he can't go anywhere he doesn't go anywhere he has brings a chef over to his home when he was over at his house um not keith richards uh who's in the rolling stones keith richards nick jagger the other one who's the other one ron i don't know who the fuck is in the rolling stones who's the other guy ron wood is that his name shit what are we retarded how do we not know who's in the i'm trying to remember the drummer's name and i can't remember

his name yeah i'm trying to okay rolling stones we not know who's in the Rolling Stones? I'm trying to remember the drummer's name, and I can't remember his name. Yeah, I'm trying to remember. Okay, Rolling Stones. Who the fuck is in the Rolling Stones? God, isn't that funny? You only remember Keith Richards. I was never a big Stones guy, so I barely... Yeah, me neither. I only learned the first two.

How dare the both of you? I love the logo, though, with the lips or the tongue or whatever the fuck it is. Even on their website, they just expect you to know who the fuck everybody is. Yeah, back in the day, that was sexual as a kid growing up. You're a weird kid, man. I think the logos would stop me from getting into them. The logos would stop for me. You know what?

I should shut the fuck up right here because I probably shouldn't even say what happened. I was about... It's probably good. Okay. Ron Wood. That is his name. Anyway, the point is that we're all hanging out, and Stan Hope realized, oh, Johnny Depp is too famous.

Right. He's gotten way too famous. And apparently, it was from those Pirates of the Caribbean movies. From there on out, there's no more going to restaurants. Dude, when Chappelle came back from Africa, when he ran off from the TV show and everything, when he came back, he went on this tour, and I toured with him. And I know Dave isn't, you know, Johnny Depp,

but he's pretty fucking famous, you know? And he, it was crazy, man, because we were doing these shows, and I was opening for him for like two weeks, and he'd literally just be like, want to go to the mall, man? And I'd be like, yeah, let's go. And he'd be like, all right, let's go. And literally, want to go to the mall, man? And I'd be like, yeah, let's go. And he'd be like, all right, let's go.

And literally, I would walk to the mall with Dave Chappelle. No security, nothing. And cars were screeching in the fucking streets. People were jumping out of their cars. They were running up to, we went to a footlocker in the mall. We had to leave through the back exit because so many people were flooding in. Wow. And the worst part was we went. A pack of people followed us to the hotel.

Followed him. I was just there. But a pack of people, like fucking dogs, followed him to the hotel. And they're all going, I'm Rich James, bitch. Yes. Yes. White dudes with backwards baseball hats on. Yeah.

No, it was a lot of fat white guys, I remember. And they followed us. There was like 30 people. I'm not exaggerating. We got to the hotel. The concierge at the hotel had to literally hold the people back so we could get onto the elevator. literally hold the people back so we could get onto the hotel or into the elevator. And as the doors were shutting, a guy got around the concierge and ran up and literally put his phone almost against Chappelle's face and goes, say something funny. My friend's on the phone,

say something funny. And Dave just kind of stared at this guy and we got in the elevator and the door shut. And I go, dude, I don't know how you didn't just lay that dude out, man. That was like the rudest thing I've ever seen anybody do to a person. And he was just like, what are you going to do, man? That's why he was high all the time. That's why you need to stay high when you're that famous. Yeah. All day. But he gave me the best advice ever that I ever got in comedy.

And I talk about this in my act a little bit. I tell the story. But we were hanging out after we did a show one night in Cleveland at the at this big amphitheater and after the show I'm talking to these two girls and they're like you're so funny and I'm like once you come back to the hotel Come hang out Dave might stop by you know Yeah, I was trying to pick up these chicks. He actually was gonna stop by the Imagine if you were in the middle of boning her and she heard Dave's voice and she's like, get off me!

Yeah, exactly. Imagine if he's cock blocking you by standing in the living room. I'm Rick James, bitch! Oh my god, is that him? Get out of me! Get out of me! I need to meet him! He's not going anywhere. I'll come in 30 seconds he was an awesome no rape

he was an awesome wingman because he was he was he's married right and he was like a great dude about it he was just like you know he would sit there and like talk to you you know with the chicks and then like he'd peel off and then you'd be there with the chicks man it was fucking beautiful the chicks would go you must be special. Well, they also just saw you open. Dude, it was... So... Oh, look at you. You're glowing.

Oh, dude. It was really... It was nice. So happy. It was nice. It was really nice. So I was talking to these two girls after one of the shows in Cleveland

and I'm like, come back to the hotel and they're being wishy-washy and I'm like, all right, whatever. And they take my number and I go backstage and I'm bitching to Dave and the tour bus driver about these chicks.

And I'm like, you know, they're fucking just being all wishy-washy and I don't know this and it's just annoying. Just fucking hang out if you're going to hang out. And the bus driver goes, Joe, I'm going to tell you what you need to do, man. You need to walk up to that girl, look her dead in the eye, and say, do you want to suck my dick or not? Right? And I was like.

Terrible advice. I was like, okay. And I was considering it for a second. And then Chappelle goes, don't do that shit, man. Don't do it. You're going to fuck around, Joe. You're going to get famous one of these days. Ten years from now, that bitch will be on hard copy going, Joe DeRosa told me to suck

his dick in Cleveland once Well the reality is Even if that didn't happen There's going to be a girl if you get famous That just remembers a story that never happened at all About Joe DeRosa telling her to suck your cock Right I've had fucking people tell me stories

About me that absolutely didn't exist That never happened really about i had fucking on the podcast remember crash was telling a story about a fight in new york that never took place about i told this guy can you handle that guy i'll take the other two and i went over and kicked some guy in the head never happened none of it happened really he was like arguing with me that happened i'm like dude i am telling you i didn't i haven't fought anybody since i haven't had a street fight since i was in high school all right i've avoided every single physical altercation outside of competition since high school so this never happened it's impossible that it happened

that's a great like rumor though about you makes you sound like a killer no it's not like an asshole i don't think it makes you sound like an asshole it totally makes me sound like an asshole listen whenever you see a bunch of people you you're like, can you take that guy Why don't you just turn around and get the fuck out of there That's the smart move The smart guy walks out of there See, I'm a little fucking wisp of grass That can't fight at all

Wisp of grass? That's the most fucking The weakest thing you can ever be On stand up straight That's such a funny descriptive wisp of grass. I remember seeing a tell once on stage and there were three fat

girls in the front row. I think it was two thin girls and a fat girl in the middle. And I don't remember why he said this to the fat girl, but it was something about how she didn't think she was fat. And he goes, oh, I know, right? Look at you you sitting there like a little blade of grass a little blade of grass i think he's fat shaming that's outlawed

now that's not cool guys on the internet fat shaming is fucking male hypocrisy slash patriarchy slash privilege slash keep going. But I, so I'm, I would love a story like that. I would like, my point is, is I'm a pussy. I would love to be in a situation where I literally go, I can take this guy. Can you take that guy? I would just never be in that situation. Why do people make stuff up like that? Things that never happened.

I had a guy come up to me at a party and he goes, my dentist played golf with you. And I go, no, no, it wasn't me. He goes, oh, yeah, you're the guy from Fear Factor. My dentist played golf with you. I go, dude, I've never played golf ever in my whole life. I've never played golf. It's probably that other Rogan, that sports newscaster. And it's just like.

Probably. You know what I mean? He probably plays golf, Fred Rogan. Fred Rogan. Yeah, it may be. It might be. But he was insisting. It was the Fear Factor guy. He was insisting. Yeahan. Fred Rogan, yeah. Yeah, it may be. It might be. But he was insisting. It was the fear factor guy.

He was insisting. Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't know. If I ever reach your level, I'll be able to relate to these stories. I wish I had rumors floating around about me. I got nothing going on right now. There's rumors from high school that never happened. I talked to a friend who knew a friend of mine from high school.

Things that never happened. Like what? Just violent things. Mostly violent things. that I talked to a friend who knew a friend of mine from high school things that happened in high that never happened like what just violent things mostly violent things mostly always this guy like a like a cut fucking MMA type dude well in from high school on I did martial arts like pretty religiously that was my whole life from like 15 on am I crazy because I remember when see when I would see you on news radio. I don't remember you being jacked like this though. Were you cut up like that back then? Yeah, there was whole videos of me taking my shirt off. I had to wrestle Andy

Dick once and fucking, remember that? You probably find that. Yeah, I wasn't as big. I didn't really lift weights until I started doing Jiu Jitsu. And I started doing Jiu Jitsu in 96. So that was when I started lifting weights and I started hanging out with Eddie Bravo, my good friend Eddie Bravo bravo my best friend like around 99 2000 somewhere around then and we started lifting weights pretty seriously right after that because i started really getting into jiu-jitsu

okay and um one of the things about jiu-jitsu is just protecting your joints and protecting your back and protecting your neck and all these different parts of your body. And that adding muscle to your body keeps you from getting injured. It's kind of important. Okay. And also, it gives you more strength to execute moves. It's just like, jiu-jitsu is a very, very grueling activity. And the stronger you are, I mean, it's most important to be technical, to understand the

technique. But the stronger you are, the better. So I started lifting weights pretty seriously around then. So this is me when I didn't even lift weights. This was like... Was this from the show? This was from news radio. I like how I asked that.

No, it's a real match between you and Andy Dick. That's what I looked like with no weight lifting at all. That was just kickboxing jesus that was pretty good yeah but then he tickles me and kicks my ass fights like i would i was just about to say the same thing to you joe all right dude that's it yeah it is it tick so stupid shut it off now how dare you so All right, dude, that's it. Yeah, it is it. Tick, tick, tick. No. Tick, tick, tick. So stupid. Shut it off now.

How dare you? So. I like that show. Yeah, that was like probably 1990. Well, Phil was alive, so it was before 90s. I think he was murdered in 98. Mm-hmm. So before that, it was probably 97, 96.

So no, there was no lifting weights Back then It was just kickboxing Jesus man You were ripped dude You still are You want to talk about it? Take your pants off I got nothing

I got nothing to add to it It's nothing I have anything To say about Well I went I don't understand it Like I don't mean that in a derogatory way

No I understand That was my I went down a different path You know Like I don't understand I in a derogatory way. No, I understand. I went down a different path. I don't understand. I have friends that do extreme sports. They jump bikes and shit like that, motorbikes and stuff like that, and do flips.

They're all busted up. I know this dude, Eric Apple. He broke his wrist so bad. It's like an inch shorter. He's got all the ligaments. He went on from that to do MMA fighting. Just crazy. Crazy people.

Jesus Christ. But that's how he grew up. I literally grew up doing martial arts competitions. So that was my... It made me a way more balanced person, if that makes any sense. I would have been way more fucked up. Given my circumstances, I needed something to throw all my energy in. I just had so much angst and anxiety and insecurity. I needed something, and I found it in martial arts.

But it just happened to be the thing for me at that time. So that's why. It makes perfect sense. It's not for everybody. It can help you, though, if you're looking for something to do to give you some physical exercise and also it gives you a kind of understanding of your your body and and fear i wish i had uh i wish i had been pushed in that direction at a younger age at a young age uh because i'm too old for it now and i how old are you i'm 37 you're not too old for it i my friend's

dad started doing jujitsu when he was 57. Really? He got his black belt. I think he was like 65 or 66. He got his black belt. Maybe I should. I don't know. I have such terrible anxiety and angst issues still.

And yeah, I'm in therapy for it and stuff. What's the main, I mean, if you want to talk about this. Sure. Do you have a main fear, a thing that fucks with you? My fear of death is pretty tremendous. want to talk about this but sure do you have a main fear a thing that fucks with you uh my fear of death is pretty uh tremendous pretty tremendous and and extremely irrational um it's it's almost crippling it's almost crippling wow have you done any psychedelics like heavy doses of mushrooms or heavy doses of yeah i don't know what heavy doses are, but I mean, I took my share of mushrooms and acid through the years.

Open your hand and show me what's the biggest dose you've ever taken. You know? No, that's not good enough, son. You're showing me a little tiny, like, quarter size. You know, I remember tripping for like 11, 12 hours on acid, like stuff like that. Well, I don't have any experience with acid, but I do have experience with mushrooms. And my experience is there's a big difference between like a couple caps and stems and a fucking handful. It's a handful.

You want like five grams. Okay. Yeah. When you do like those big trips, that's when you just go, it just obliterates your ego. And you go just deep into the realm of perception and of understanding your position in this great thing that you see in front of you. And how much your position in this great thing, this great thing being the entire universe itself, how much of your position is distorted by your own ability to recognize your surroundings and your need to survive, and then your ego, which comes into place and wants you to get laid,

wants you to be fed, wants you to stay alive and competitive. All those variables, they fuck with your ability to understand the true nature of reality. And sometimes a real ego obliterating experience is what you need just to kind of put it in place see the problem is now for me and i i had some uh brushes with that in my time that i would do these heavier psychedelics uh but my problem is now is that my anxiety is such an issue that I wouldn't be able to handle it. I can't even handle pot now. I mean, if I went into a hard trip like that, I would start freaking out. I

turned too inward. I'm a pretty lethargic guy. So I've always been more of a fan of stimulants than barbiturates and depressants, which is what eventually pulled me away from marijuana because my problem with marijuana is i'll smoke it and i go deep into my head right and it's bad if i had if i had smoked any weed before i came in here today this would literally i would be panicking right now right now because i feel i feel a general anxiety just being here really yeah why not what is the general anxiety just anytime you're talking to people or that you're online? I definitely have self-esteem issues and issues about my own achievement and worth. So when I do something like this for the first time, the first few times, I am nervous because I'm like, don't fuck it up. Don't fuck this up.

This is a guy you don't know, you know, because I don't really know you. You know what I mean? We know each other kind of, but we're like, I mean, I consider you like a comrade, a colleague, a fellow comic. Every comic that I know that's a comic, like you get sanctioned by Jimmy Norton or any of those guys, you're in. You can stay at my house. I don't even know you,

but if you want to stay at my house, you can stay at my house. That's how I feel. Thank you. And I honestly feel the same way about you. And not because I've known you from TV for longer than we've known each other personally. Like I feel the same way.

I feel like we're part of a fraternity, and not just because of comedy, but it's a little more specified for us, I think, because we're part of the ONA camp. And, you know, that's a special camp. It was a special camp to be a part of. It still is. I don't know if they're ever going to sort that out,

but it's not the same. I love Jimmy, and I love Opie, and they're great together, and I listen to it all the time, but God damn it, I miss Anthony. It is a the same. I love Jimmy, and I love Opie, and they're great together, and I listen to it all the time. But God damn it, I miss Anthony. It is a bummer. It's a real bummer. You know, that's a, well, let me answer your question.

Yeah, answer the first question. We'll get back to that. But so I feel like, you know, everything I do, for instance, right now in LA and trust me, it's not a terrible anxiety right now. I was excited about this too. Like a lot of it is just excitement and interpreting the excitement, but, um, you know, I'm doing a, I'm doing a part on a TV show right now. Uh, that's looks like it might last for a little while. I don't know yet because it's sort of episode to episode. But with something like that, like every time I do it, I'm like, don't fuck this up, dude.

This is your, you know what I mean? And that's what I do. And it's terrible. It's a terrible, terrible anxiety. It doesn't prevent me from performing. It doesn't prevent me from delivering, but it's there. And it's the kind of thing where if something does go wrong, I have a very hard time just leaving it behind me and going, it was

a bad day at work, dude, let it go. You know, I did a charity event last night and it wasn't a great show. And this was a huge step for me today. I woke up with anxiety about it at 4.30 in the morning. Why'd you do this bit? Why'd you do that bit? And I was just like, dude, you didn't do anything wrong. You just weren't the best choice for that gig. That's it. It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. And I think most people go down that road first.

And my whole life, I've never gone down that road first. I go down the blaming myself road first. Well, let me be honest with you then. I've had shows where I had a great set for 90 minutes and i'll close badly or fuck up something and i can't sleep yep i wake up in the middle of the night and i i'm i'm just in a hurricane yeah a hurricane of anguish and being upset but i think that's because i care yeah it's because i care yes I don't want anybody leaving a show ever and feeling like I don't ever want I know they paid money that drives me fucking crazy I know

Babysitters they planned it out. They saved their money for that You know I don't want anyone to ever think that I ever take that for granted because that would drive me fucking crazy if I Went to see someone and I knew they didn't give a shit, and they took it for granted That's the one of the worst things a performer can ever do with their audience, is disrespect their audience. I brought this up before, but I'll bring it up again. It's what I call the Joe DiMaggio principle. Because I remember this quote when I was a kid.

Joe DiMaggio was like 40 years old, sliding into third base, and the guy on the other team goes, you know, why are you playing so hard? You're already in the Hall of Fame. And he goes, because someone out there is someone in the audience that hasn't seen Joe DiMaggio play. And I don't want to let him down. That's so great. Laurie Kilmartin said once to me, years ago, I was opening for her in Philadelphia. And I said, how do you manage to go out and show the same enthusiasm every set?

Because I noticed throughout the weekend that she was doing that. And I was having a hard time with that at that point in my career and she said just think about it she's like you're a fan of comedy haven't you ever seen a comedian that makes you laugh so hard you want to fall over and I go yeah and she goes there's a chance somebody in the audience that's going to happen because of you tonight yeah so you should always have that in your head and that's that's the DiMaggio thing you just said yeah I mean it's a lot of times just a perception issue like how you deal with things like um i had a friend that came up to me once uh we were in um vegas and uh i brought him to some fights and uh after the fights it gets pretty fucking crazy it's you know

there's 18 000 people there and try to wake your way through the casino good luck you know you're gonna get stopped every five seconds and he he was like, does it get annoying? I go, well, there's certain times where I have things that I have to do, where I have to leave, like I have to go to a show, or I have to meet someone for dinner. I mean, I have to be there by X amount of time. I just have to say no. But for the most part, it's just a bunch of people being nice.

But my attitude about it is always that every time I meet someone, I reset. Because it's like, I don't ever think of it as like, oh, here's another person. Here's another person. Every time I meet someone, I reset because it's like, I don't ever think of it as like, oh, here's another person. Here's another person. Every time I meet someone, I reset. Right. So it's a total new experience because I know it's a new experience for them. Right. And if I don't, I don't accept that.

I can't always say yes. I can't always call your friend. I can't always fucking take pictures. I have to go sometimes. Like sometimes it's unavoidable. There's a hundred people and you got to be out of there because you're supposed to be somewhere in five minutes. Right. I can't be late for a show.

I can't be late for an interview or an appearance that I have to do or whatever the fuck that's obligated. Yeah, no, and I think that reset mentality is great. When I first started doing ONA, Burr told me years ago, he was like, listen, here's what you do. He goes, you're doing the show now. Guys are going to start coming out to see you you you sell your merch you shake everybody's hand and he goes and and talk and just talk he goes you know sometimes you can't spend a lot of time with everybody but talk to everybody say hello and he was like and that's what you do dude like and and not that i would have done any different but him saying that really cemented it into my head.

He's a great guy. Yeah. And I've seen him do it, and I've always done it. If there are fucking two people in the audience that wanted to see me, and it was the shittiest show of all time because there were 98 that didn't give a fuck about who I was and heckling or whatever, I spent time with those two guys and talked to them. You know what I mean? And I talked talk to them. You know what I mean? And I talk to them like I'm talking to you. Yeah, that's how it should be. Burr said once something that I thought was really cool.

He said, we were just talking about how everything's going really well for him and he's real happy. And he says, you know, I remember when I was a kid and I'd go to see a, and then the new song sucked, and I just wasn't into it. They put on a bad show, and I felt like they fucked me. And he goes, and I know that if people come out to see me, they're fans, and I'm not going to fuck them. I'm not going to fuck them. I'm going to write hard. I'm going to work hard.

I'm going to get out there, and I'm going to give it my best. I don't want to fuck them. That's a great attitude. It is. It is. I'm going to get out there and give it my best. I don't want to fuck him. That's a great attitude.

It is. It is. I mean, he works so hard, and he delivers to his fans what they deserve. I think everybody, excuse me, I think everybody, many comics do that, but I think, again, like what was always special to me about, or one of the things that was always special to me about being part of that ONA fraternity was that those comics all did that yeah everybody delivered you know everybody had the mentality of it's a new year i have to go back to the to that city again i better have a new hour or it better be the much

much better version of last year's hour yeah you know because i'm about to tape it or whatever it is you know but uh and it was patrice was like that obviously norton uh uh louis uh obviously you know like like these guys you know that you know burr like that that's what they that's what they all did you know one of the great things about the opie and anthony show was that it was a hangout like even if like ricky gervais came on or some big star came on if you and i were on the show we would still be on the show and he would sit in there and everybody knew to lay back and let someone talk or occasionally everybody would jump in i mean it was completely free form yeah and because of that there was a lot of ball busting like when bobby kelly's on the guy gets fucking tortured when vos is on he gets tortured yeah and because of that Like getting tortured

Like everybody has to like Mind their P's and Q's And be on the ball You gotta cover all your bases It's the snake pit man Yeah whereas if you do A lot of other radio shows Even big shows

It's one guest at a time Right You know And you don't You don't get tossed into like That sort of Comedy cellar table Sort of scenario

Or you know The parking lot at the store or you know the bar at the improv like is that i always said when you when you went on ona and it was a packed room you know when you walked in and it was dipalo bobby you know or or burr and patrice or whoever when it was a packed room on ona i always said it was like getting dropped into the it was like in raiders of the lost Ark when he hits the ground in that fucking snake pit. And it's just like, you better like have your torch

up and be ready because they are coming at you from every fucking direction. Snakes. I hate snakes. Yeah. Yeah. Asps. Very dangerous. But it was also just fun, you know, it's like exciting to be in that room with Voss and Norton,

and everybody's like, everyone's fun. Norton says something funny, Voss will say something funny, and everybody's chiming in and laughing. It's so exciting. It was. It was. Those times were the hardest times I've ever laughed in my life. I remember when I would have stints where I would quit drinking for a while,

and i'd say like how the fuck am i gonna have fun if i'm not going out drinking you know uh i would go oh that's right i laughed the hardest i ever did in my entire life at 6 45 in the morning the other day dead sober yeah because i was on opiate anthony eating a bagel yeah yeah watching bobo pull his fucking pubes out or whatever. You know what I mean? Like literally crying, laughing like till you couldn't breathe. You know?

So it's like, I was like, okay, it's possible. It's possible to have sober fun, obviously. Well, hanging out with comedians, I mean, that's the one thing me and Stan Hope were talking once and he said, I could quit comedy, but I could never quit hanging out with comics. That's a great way to put it. Yeah, we were just laughing and fucking around. And we were just being ridiculous and making each other howl. And we were just both shaking our head.

And he goes, I could never stop hanging out with comics. That's great. You know, like he goes, I can't fucking quit comedy. I could quit comedy. You just stop performing. Fuck it. I could just fucking smoke cigarettes and drink beer and watch football. I could quit comedy. I could just stop performing. Fuck it. I could just fucking smoke cigarettes and drink beer and watch football. I could do that.

He goes, but I don't want to stop hanging out with comedians. Because I think a guy like Stan Hope also, you get to a point where you realize, I mean, yeah, it's fun to do shows, but nothing's going to change. You're not going to. Yeah. And the best thing about hanging out with comics to me is like it's like the rings of hell because there's hanging out with comedians then there's hanging out with the comedians that are you know that are in that are the real comics not just general comedians that

are the pro guys whatever and girls then it's the ring below that which is like these are the pros that are fucking cool you know that aren't egomaniacs or that then it's the ring below that, which is like, these are the pros that are fucking cool. You know, that aren't egomaniacs. Then there's the ring under that where it's like, these are the pros that are ready to trash anything you want to talk about. Everybody on the other three levels would scoff at what we're about to say, but we'll go after anything down here on this little ring. And it's the best.

It's the best. Yeah. Well, there's an art form to saying fucked up shit. Yeah. You know, that you don't even necessarily really mean, but especially when a bunch of comics are getting together and they're vibing off of each other.

There's that thing that we do where you'll, I'll try to say something like Tony the other day. What the fuck did he say about Joan Rivers when Joan Rivers died? Oh, if you hurry up, you can still get in bed with i was supposed to do uh in bed with joan it was like she was doing a podcast where she would do it from her bed yeah and i was scheduled to do it and it got moved around and i was waiting to reschedule it and then she died and it made me sad because uh i was a huge fan yeah me too and um and tony edgecliff goes if you up, you can still get in bed with her.

It's not too late. She probably hasn't started rotting yet. Oh, my God. I don't think he said that, but I do. But you can't say that in normal company. But amongst comedians, to me, it made me feel good that he said that. Oh, my God.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's hilarious. Yeah, like Ari and I were talking last night. We went to Cantor's Deli late after his thing. We were driving home, and he was talking about how he thinks it's good to interact with regular people. Because he goes, I don't talk to anybody that's a comedian, and I think I'm not getting a balanced perspective. and I think I'm not getting a balanced perspective. And he was like, you know, you do this sports commentary stuff where you'll go a whole weekend where you don't do stand-up

and you talk to athletes and you talk to news people and stuff like that. That's probably good for you. And he goes, because all I'm talking to is psychos who also, you know, I could say something really fucked up and they're like, yeah. Right, yeah. Well, yeah. When we, all right i i feel

like i learned this in therapy when somebody shares something with you you need to share back oh so you know that we're like on the level together so i'm going to tell you a fucked up thing i said but i was hanging out i don't even i feel bad bringing his name but i was hanging out with pete holmes oh he brought him in and it was right after it was right after uh robin williams it was right after robin williams thing right after the holocaust and they were saying they're saying it's an apparent suicide they found him with the belt around his neck and i was like pete do you think he you think it was a suicide do you think he was jacking it with the belt around his neck and And we just started laughing, going,

apparent suicide always sounds way better in a newspaper than definitely was jerking off with a belt around his neck. Yeah. In Robin's case, he cut his wrist, too. Yeah, I know. That part hadn't come out yet. And, you know, it was, I mean, there's a, I have a human side. I don't want to sound like a cunt.

It's not a cunt. It's true. It's a good point. It's very sad to me that that happened. And I respect that that happened. And if I was related to him, I probably wouldn't want to hear a joke about it right now. is like, you know, sometimes you're hanging out with comics and you can let those little thoughts out with them that I think a lot of people, a lot of other comics, if I was on nine out of ten other podcasts right now,

I wouldn't have felt comfortable sharing that. But see, you shared the crazy Joan Rivers joke, right? And then I share that back, and it's like, here we are. We're in the fucking ninth ring together. And Joan Rivers or Robin Williams, I think, would understand why those jokes were funny. I don't have the right to say this guy's name because I wasn't there when it happened,

but a very famous comedian came over to a table of comics at the cellar and right after Robin Williams died and went, he was a joke thief, right? Fuck him. Really? And walked away. And everybody was like, oh, shit. Jesus. Like looked at everybody and went, he was a joke thief right fuck him really and walked away and everybody was like oh

shit right like looked at everybody and went he was a joke thief right jesus guy was a joke thief right and everybody like nod their head he goes fuck him walked away yeah i don't i it wasn't there so i don't know if it was funny the guy's fucking hilarious so i'm sure it was probably pretty funny when he said it but uh that's a real thing, too, with people. That's a real thing where some guys never want to let that shit go. Yeah, no, that's a very real thing. Especially with your bit. Like, if you had a bit, and all of a sudden it's on Letterman.

Look, I'll tell you, you know. Mork's doing it. There's something to be said for that don't die with a grudge thing. Yeah. But I also do think it's bullshit a lot of the time, you know. I mean, you watch that Ram's bullshit a lot of the time you know i mean you watch that ramones documentary end of the century and they start talking to johnny ramone after joey died and they go did you go visit him in the hospital he goes no and they go even when

he was dying you didn't go see him you knew he was going to die and he goes no if i was dying i wouldn't want him to come see me i don't like like the guy. We don't like each other. And I was just like, you know what, man? In certain ways, I tip my hat to that. It's like, yeah, this is what it is, man. Let's not stroke ourselves here. There's levels. You know, there's levels. Like there's some people that you have fallen out with where you could sort it out.

And there's some people you can't. There's some people I don't want to be around because I just don't want to feel them i don't want to be in there i don't i think they're beyond my reach i agree on my hope their perception of reality is so different than mine that i agree you know i don't i don't want to hate anybody but i don't want to communicate with them either right well you know the the like my mom taught me a great lesson about that sort of thing she said the opposite of hate isn't love the opposite of hate is indifference when you truly don't care about somebody that's that's how's love i'm sorry i'm sorry let me let me i phrased it wrong the opposite of love is in hate the opposite of love is indifference that's what it

is excuse me so where's hate fit in there is Is it in the middle? Hate means you still care. Hate means you still love the person. It's not the opposite because if you hate, if you hate, you're invested, you know? And I mean, I guess that investment doesn't necessarily necessitate love every time, but hate is investment. I'm spending my energy on you right now. I'm wasting my energy on you. You're my ex-girlfriend. You did me wrong. It's two years later. I can't pick up a mop without yelling the word cunt at the ceiling because this is the fucking mop you bought when you lived here.

You know what I mean? That's not the opposite of love. You're still invested. There's part of're still invested. There's part of you still in there somewhere that wishes everything was okay. But indifference, when you truly say, I don't give a fuck if you live, die, breathe, whatever. Like, I have nothing in me for you. You know, to me that is, that's why they say with these fucking Twitter trolls, you know,

I was arguing with people on Twitter for the last two days, and people are going, why are you going after them? Don't show them that you care. Don't show them. And that's what, yeah, yeah. Why am I showing them that I care? You know what I mean? Like indifference is what pisses off a Twitter troll.

Well, sometimes it's fun. Well, it is. I do think there's a gray area, and the gray area was where I was trying to exist, because I didn't like what people were saying about a friend of mine on there, so I was trying to defend him. Yeah, I know what you're saying. I mean, there's times where it's worth your effort to communicate, and there's times where it's not. It's a matter of how much emotionally you get invested in debating someone that you don't even know. I mean, you might meet them, and they might be a fucking complete idiot,

and there's no reason whatsoever to even communicate with them. Like, what's the point in getting all riled up and upset? You're not even involved with that person. You don't know them. You choose to be involved with them because of 140 characters that are on a page. You don't have to. You don't have to, you know? Yeah, there was a guy today that I stopped following that really came after me pretty hard

that I considered, I wouldn't say a friend, we didn't hang out, but like we were friendly. We were friendly, excuse me. And, you know, our knowing of each other started in a weird way. He was kind of like being a bit of a troll one day to me. And I really went after him because I was in a really bad mood. And then I ended up meeting him at a party a year later. And he came up and introduced himself. And he's like, hey, man, I was just joking. I'm sorry that that got out of hand, whatever. He ended up meeting him at a party a year later and he came up and introduced himself and he's like hey man i was just joking i'm sorry that that got out of hand whatever he ended up giving me a bag of weed you know he was really really cool and then we were cool and then like over these last two days he started tweeting me all this really fucking vicious shit about

andy kindler and andy's my friend and i, dude, I don't agree with you. Stop saying this shit to me and stop putting my name in the fucking tweets. Like, like you and me ride together. And like, and now my, my friend is going to see his name getting smeared and my name's in the tweet too. And I'm just like, dude, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Stop. And I was writing that back to him with both his and andy's handle in the tweets and he just kept doing it and i was just like you know what dude fuck it i'm not doing this and i wrote it and other people chimed in we're saying the same dumb shit i just wrote to everybody that i'm arguing with right now on twitter please stop following me i can't stand any of the shit you're saying right now i'm serious stop following me and they didn't and i of the shit you're saying right now. I'm serious. Stop following me. And they didn't.

And I was just like, you know what? Fuck it. And I just unfollowed this dude. I'm like, what am I supposed to do? Keep following a guy that's like waving his dick in my face? You know what I mean? Depends. And then, you know, and then he, you know, I wake up today at 430 in the morning with anxiety from having a bad set at a fucking charity gig

last night and i check my twitter and there's like five tweets at me from this guy you were never funny you're a piece of shit who is this guy uh i'll say his name i don't it's fred from brooklyn is his twitter handle at fred from brooklyn comic i don't know what he does i think he has a podcast he's not like a guy anybody knows except like some he's part of that don't put him up on the screen yeah he's part of that ona crew um but like so he just was trying to hurt your feelings yeah it was like it was it kind of made me sad to be honest because like he was doing it the way like a scorned lover does it like it's like dude two days ago you were telling me you love me and now you're you're telling me i'm not funny it's like you're just you're just hurt your feelings are hurt so it

didn't upset me in that sense and by the way fred if you're hearing this i'm not giving you attention because this got to me i'm just mature enough to talk about this and i don't give a fuck i don't give a fuck i can't get into all the goddamn head games of don't say his name that dude's typing right now with sweaty fingers you know it's just like and it's like and and if you are listening to this it's like dude i'm not even mad at you it's like you were saying a bunch of shit i didn't agree with and i was like all right dude i can't fuck with you anymore man and he's writing if you don't play twitter by derosa's rules he'll fucking he'll kill blah unfollow you he's writing, if you don't play Twitter by DeRosa's rules, he'll fucking, he'll kill, blah, unfollow you. He's a fucking cunt. It's like, dude, weren't you one of the same guys that stood up for Anthony and were pissed off that he came under fire for his words?

So you can attack other people when their words come under fire, but I can't, but nobody can criticize your word. You know what I mean? Like, how the fuck does that coin? Yeah, that's a real convenient fucking coin you're your work. You know what I mean? Like, how the fuck does that coin? Yeah, that's a, that's a real convenient fucking coin. You're flipping there. You know what I mean? Hmm. Um, but why, why worry about what his fucking hangup is?

Why spend so much energy on it? That's the real issue. Well, now we're back to the thing about the indifference. Yeah. Um, I don't, it's not a lot of energy that I'm spending on it. It's just, I guess I'm just, I don't remember why we got into Twitter. But, oh, you were saying that you know these people from the 140. Yeah.

That's your only relationship to them. Yeah, you don't have to. He was somebody that I actually genuinely liked, like as a dude. Troubled. Yeah. A lot of troubled people. Well, that's why i say i wasn't mad it was more just like it was like i feel bad man like i just feel bad for you dude like you you're reacting the way like a dumped girl reacts right now you know what i mean you know when someone says something like that to you it alleviates any responsibility you have for continuing to communicate with them like oh you're being a baby okay yeah like if some like some people will do that and they'll expect you to fire back at them

and they'll do it wanting you to fire back on it they want you to engage and that's where indifference comes in like you but this isn't indifference necessarily because we're kind of discussing it but you know it's it's important to recognize what you want to invest your energy in yes i agree hours in a day i agree i agree i just don't like like part i will say this my only emotional investment in that back and forth and like sending out a tweet that says please stop following me to anybody that feels this way i want people like that out of my life i I don't want them coming to my shows. I don't want them around. I don't.

And it's not because they said mean things about Andy Kindler. I can deal with somebody saying mean things about Andy Kindler. It's the reasons they were saying the mean things about Andy Kindler. They're pissed off because Andy Kindler addressed the Anthony situation at Montreal, and now it's, we see blood, and attack and kill, and it's fucking stupid. It's mob mentality. I don't agree with it. I don't want people like that behind me in any way, in any fucking way. a very progressive guy very smart guy and uh he you know if he met anthony and he had a conversation with him maybe they would have uh a difference of opinion maybe they would argue i don't know but i respect them both yeah it's a tricky tricky situation where anthony kumi a situation for folks who don't know anthony from opiate anthium Anthony was fired because he was in a situation, another situation line, situation. I can't stop saying situation.

It's stuck in my head. He was taking photographs late at night in Times Square. Some woman, he took her photograph, and she got mad at him. She hit him, yelling at him, screaming at him, and then he went on this rant about the African-American community, about violence, about all all sorts of different things and he got fired for the rant and uh you know if anybody pays any attention to him on the opie and anthony show they know that he does that all the time that that style of communication is his thing but you can explain yourself way better on a radio show when you're going back and forth with people and you cite statistics and facts about the african-american community there's no doubt about it i mean there's no way to deny it there's a disparity in the amount of african-american people that are in prison there's a

disparity in the amount of african-american people that commit crime but that could be attributed to a bunch of different things economic factors the the the the opportunities that they have as opposed to the opportunities that people that live in better neighborhoods have there's a lot of shit going on there it's a complex nuanced discussion and you're not going to have a complex nuanced discussion after you punch in the face right you're going to start screaming and yelling and he should have just stayed off the air or stayed offline what he should have done is talked about it on the radio show on mond Monday morning and expressed the whole story. So it's a sensitive issue.

Very sensitive. And I think that, you know, I'll be honest with you, this is the first time I've ever talked about this publicly to anybody. And when this all happened, I got a lot of shit online

about not coming out and saying stand with Ant or defend Ant or whatever. Because I wanted to see the situation through before I said anything. And I didn't agree with the initial outburst on Twitter. But I thought to myself, okay, he was angry. It was fucked up. Let his blood fucking calm.

Maybe he'll apologize or reword things or whatever uh also too i think if you're going to be somebody that complains about the problems in a community you need to come you need to address those problems constructively and try to help offer solutions not just yell from a hilltop about how fucked up it is and how you're pissed off about it i don't think that helps anything and that's that kind of addressing of a problem is what makes people start saying what's what's going on with this guy you know what i mean it starts to sound like a very one-sided attack on something now you can agree or anybody could agree or disagree with that point and we can even move beyond that point to to this point which is after he went on that out had that twitter outburst i was like okay that was unfortunate but let's see what he says now then he went on red eye and was like i'm not

sorry i'm not sorry i'm not apologizing i am not sorry for what i did and i was like okay this is starting to get a little bit more complicated now. And then after that, I mean, by the time he went on that white nationalist radio show to defend himself, I was just like, I don't know where this is. I didn't hear that. Well, I saw it online. Did you see a transcript or did you hear it? There was part of a transcript of some stuff he said uh but i found online because i was just kind of following the situation that he had gone on

basically a white nationalist podcast or radio show or something uh and it's like the guy the host of the show is on wikipedia he's got a wikipedia page and it was like the wikipedia page was like this is a guy that has had like holocaust deniers and shit on his show like your friend from ireland he wasn't my friend he was my neighbor and i didn't know he thought that until it came out that night the jews exaggerate a bit lad oh he's after me lucky charms by the way if that guy had a radio show i wouldn't have gone on it so when i saw that i mean you can you guys look it up so you like you know i don't want to i don't want to publicize any fucking white nationalists okay fair enough i mean so so um anyway so when i saw that i was like and saw some of anthony's quotes from the show i was like this

is this is getting fucked up so do you think he just went off the deep end because he was angry and he was trying to publicize the whole situation or do you think he's really racist like what's your take on it you know probably as good as i know him when it first happened and i'm i'm gonna i'm putting this disclaimer out before i say anything uh i am fully aware of the hellfire that i might face for not just saying i'm with the guy on this stuff i'm fully aware of it i'm i've thought about this very long and very hard i am aware of it um i'm not you, that I'm just saying that anyway, uh, the, uh, when it first happened, I was like, this is really fucking unfortunate. And I want to believe that my friend fucked up. And I want to believe that my friend is, is going to redeem himself from this. And the further it

went down the road. And finally, for me, the last final straw was the shit he was tweeting about the ferguson situation i was just like i can't i unfollowed him on twitter i was like i can't do this man and that's not me saying fuck you kumia right that's me saying like dude you have the he has the absolute right to say whatever he wants to say i would never ever ever say somebody doesn't have the right to speak out loud about what they have to say but i also have the right to say whatever he wants to say i would never ever ever say somebody doesn't have the right to speak out loud about what they have to say but i also have the right to react to it and i also have the right to say if that's how you feel about this shit i disagree so strongly and this is such a this is such a to me an ethical and moral issue when it comes when you start dealing with race i don't know how we can pal around still.

You know what I mean? This is beyond political differences to me. It's like once it starts getting into racial stuff and I have to start thinking about what does it say to my black friends if I still hang out with a certain person? It's a real fucking tight spot at that point. And I also didn't agree with the whole thing where everybody was really on this, like, cancel your subscriptions thing. And what? And fuck Opie and Jim over?

Fuck them out of a job? Let SiriusXM lose all this business? I mean, those guys were left in a really tough situation. And they're making the best out of it. And for everybody that was behind Anthony to go, yeah, cancel your fucking subscription. Now why are you fucking these people over? What did they do? They didn't do anything. And it just was such a messy thing.

It was just such a messy thing. And everybody was saying this is a free speech issue. It's not a free speech issue. Speech is free. Freedom of speech, it's free. But it doesn't mean it comes without consequences. It works like a giant candy dish at your doctor's office. It's there for the taking, but if you don't handle it carefully or use it with any responsibility,

you're going to get sick and fuck yourself up a little bit. You've got to be careful. There are repercussions for free speech. Free speech just means you're allowed to say it. It doesn't mean nothing bad can happen afterwards. So when people were were talking about like i can't believe that they fired him it's like well whether you agree with him getting fired or not you can't believe that they fired him if you had a pizza shop and one

of your top pizza makers was across the street saying that stuff and your customers could hear him you'd be like we get this fucking guy away from the pizza shop right now. This is bad for pizza business. So I don't see how SiriusXM is any different. Now, again, whether you agree with him getting fired or not is a different story. But to say we can't understand why he got fired, I just think it's such a closed-minded, one-sided way of looking at it. I think it was approached with zero gray area. Well, on one hand, I kind of appreciate their loyalty,

that they want to stick up for Anthony and they want to do that. But there are real issues when you start discussing race that you have to take into consideration. And this Ferguson thing, the Ferguson thing is a very unique situation race that you have to take into consideration and like this ferguson thing you know the ferguson thing is a very unique situation because it's an incredibly impoverished community with a lot of fucking crime a lot of crime and a lot of police brutality right like it's just an awful place it's awful and um it's not as simple as black people or white people. This is going to sound stupid, but I wish there was no race. I wish there was no color.

I wish there was no differentiation other than your behavior. Because if that was the case, we would be able to look at behavior. And we'd be able to look at all these people that are involved in tremendous amounts of crime okay what are the variables there where what are the single parent households what are the absentee parents what are the kids that are growing up with drug addicts what are the kids that are growing up with crime in their environment constantly right you know what yeah that's what's going on it's not black people. I know fucking crazy white people. I grew up with a lot of poor white people.

They were insane. They're just as goddamn dangerous as anybody. There's nobody that's less dangerous when it comes to poverty and crime. It's like you get poverty and crime and bad scenarios and children potential that's growing up in this really distorted and fucked up way you're going to get crazy people sure people that grow up with crime commit crime people imitate their atmosphere sure people who grow up in terrible environments it's very difficult to rise above and you can't just you can't just say it's a black thing or a white thing and just because it's in the black community more than it's in the white community look man you got to take into consideration that 150 years ago there was slavery okay and the great

grandchildren of those slaves are the what what you're dealing with today and that's that's a real and i'm not a fan of reparations or any of that other than those ideas that a lot of people banner back and forth but i am a fan of what I would call social or civil engineering. Social engineering is probably not a bad idea to try to rejuvenate impoverished communities that are predominantly one race. I mean, it seems to me that those places are a trap. And if you're born in those places,

whether it's poor white Irish people that are fucking criminals and meth heads, or whether it's black people that you grow up and both your parents are in jail, you're being raised by your grandmother who sells crack. These are terrible environments that people are coming out of, and they're very commonplace. That's the real issue.

The real issue is children that grow up in these environments and become really fucked up members of society. It has nothing to do with race. It just so happens that a lot of them are black. I agree. I agree. And that's why I think when statements start becoming things like, that community is so quick to jump to violence and savages and statements like that,

it's, you know. But on one hand, he's right. On one hand, he's right statistically. But the real question is, why are those communities more likely? And is it because those communities more likely? And is it because they've been ignored? As a society, we have a right, we have rather an obligation to take care of our community, right? But how far does our community extend?

That's where it gets really problematic because our community, when we think about America as a community, it's 350 million people. It stretches out thousands of miles. It's impossible to get everybody on board. Right. If we had a community, and our community was 20 people, and there was one guy who had no fucking money, and he was doing a terrible job raising his kids, and he was on drugs all the time, and his kids were left alone, we would take that kid in. Right.

We would all take that kid in. Right. We all would. But we can't when there's a million kids like that and then those kids grew up and they become adults and they were they were ignored and there's no love and there's a just just as disastrous circumstances they're growing up and right that's what's wrong I don't believe that it's a color issue I believe it's an environmental issue I think it's a genetic issue in that the the genetics of the people that were in these fucked up

environments, they're raising more people that are in these fucked up environments. It's epigenetics, learning from your environment, that passes on to the next generation. But it's not a race thing. It's just an environmental thing. It could be white people that are in poor neighborhoods like those gypsies in England. Those people are goddamn savages. Those people

that are driving around in those caravans, having bare-knuckle fights with each other, robbing everybody left and right i have a friend who they're um they're good friends in england they're from england they have good friends in england that had to abandon their home because gypsies moved into a park next to their house and when they have like these weird laws over there when these gypsies show up you know they're not all bad i'm sure but these particular gypsies that moved next to them were bad they started robbing the neighborhood they started leaving their garbage everywhere they would dig holes and shit in them it was just chaos they would have they would stay up late at night and drinking and screaming and fighting and it was

just and they couldn't get rid of them there's nothing they could do about them had nothing to do with race right it had everything to do with who are these fucking human beings. There were white people. And there were white people that were completely fucking out of control. But if you took those same white people, raised them in a nice neighborhood, you raised them in Studio City,

put them in a nice suit, and have them walk into their BMW, no one blink an eye. The same human being. Right, right. No, yeah. I hear you. I hear you.

I totally agree. Can I go back to something you said earlier uh the when you said on the one hand you admire their loyalty for for going with him i think it's short-sighted but here's my thing as far as i understood it was about that show you know i mean the fan base i mean was about that show and about what that show stood for and to me nothing about saying fuck you to two other guys and we're we're gonna 100 gonna follow one guy was anything that that show stood for it showed zero unity to me it just didn't it just didn't it to to throw two other dudes under a bus

and go and have no consideration for the situation that they're left in. You know? I understand if you want to have consideration for the position Anthony's in. Not saying they shouldn't have had consideration. I'm saying, but to have zero consideration for the other two

and go, fuck it, we're out of here. Cancel subscription. That's the thing I didn't agree with. That just felt like mob mentality to me. I see what you're saying, but in their defense, I think what they were trying to do was there was only one way to force their hand.

The way wasn't to sit back. The way was to cancel subscriptions until Sirius brought Anthony back because they wanted the show as a whole. So their idea wasn't to fuck Jimmy and Opie. Their idea was to cancel Sirius because it would force their hand and make them bring back anthony prove a point yeah that was the only thing that they could do i mean if you wanted to bring back anthony there was really no other way to act but i never felt now look i might be wrong how else could they have acted just hey guys this is this is fucking unfortunate. Nobody listens to that. You listen to economics.

That's what people listen to. We'll also subscribe to this thing over here now. Do you know what I mean? I might be wrong about this, but as far as I could see, it was never painted in the light of we're leaving and we'll be back if you rehire him. It was fuck him, we're done. Two days later, Anthony was like, I'm starting my own show. And for a week, two weeks, those subscription cancellations were coming in. So it never to me once came across as we're doing this now as a walkout, as a strike,

and if you guys do what we think is the right thing, we'll bring him back. It struck me very immediately as like, he's out the door, he's starting his own thing, these people are continually jumping ship, and I just think that kind of sucks for the other two guys. And I realize I'm not speaking for them right now. I don't know how they feel about it. And I don't mean to talk out of turn. No, I know what you're saying.

I see what you're saying. But I think for them, I can totally understand why they wanted a boycott. Because I think for them, that was the only way to voice their opinion in a way where the company would be forced to listen. If the company had 50,000 people cancel their subscriptions because Anthony Cumia got fired, and then everybody said, holy shit, we just lost X amount of revenue, can we get Anthony to apologize and bring him back? Boom, he's back on the show. Right.

And he wouldn't have apologized, though. Well, no. But I think there could have been a way to... I don't think an apology was as necessary as an explanation and a discussion. You know, I think if they had a discussion of the issue on Monday, he could have said the exact same things that he said in those tweets, but said them. And it's very different to hear someone say something,

talk about being punched in the face by someone in the African-American community. See, but look, I got to take another position too, because I don't think he should have been taking a picture of that chick without her permission. I don't think it's cool to be, if you're a woman, and I'm not a white knight here, okay, but hear me out. If you're a woman and some fucking dude on the street is pointing a camera at you and taking pictures, that shit's creepy. And maybe dudes don't think that way because they think they're innocent.

They're just capturing, they would prefer to be anonymous. I'm just capturing the city. I just love taking photographs. I think it's a beautiful city. It's interesting. It's fascinating. I like taking pictures of cabs. I don't get their permission.

This is a person. They're just happening to be walking down the street. I'm gonna take a picture of them I disagree with that. I think especially in the case of a man taking a photograph of a woman men are Traditionally the pursuers. I mean that's we we're we're liars if we pretended that there's anything other than that going on Yeah, women pursue sometimes but most creepers are dudes, right? And when a dude is taking photographs, if I was a chick, I would immediately assume that he was a creeper. Right. So in my opinion,

this woman, it was probably, I don't know what the fuck was said. See, so I mean, I'm even commenting out of school. Well, that's the tough part, is it becomes like the Watergate tapes. There's like this missing 20 minutes sort of thing.

Well, it's missing all minutes. We don't have any time right zero words right exactly so i mean it's it's it literally goes from i was taking a picture till i got hit in the face and called white motherfucker this is how i you know i feel like this about the zimmerman case too you know everybody was like oh you know this is a clear cut case that guy was a piece of shit and you know george zimmerman's an awful person that kid you know he should have been or then there's other people that said that kid was a punk he was beating him up right and he should have shot him right my take was always like what would have

happened if someone who was cooler and they talked to that kid what would have happened with someone who understands people better what would it mean what if the the whole scenario had played out where it was a a dude who's really good at communicating with people and very respectful and said to the kid, how you doing today, my brother? Everything good? And the kid said, everything's good, man. What are you up to? I mean, who knows? Maybe the kid would say, just head back from the store, man.

All right, keep cool, stay dry. Who knows? You know what I'm saying? Exactly, exactly. A fucking dork like george zimmerman might have caused that altercation just by being a social fuckhead well i think if you yeah i mean i i thought i i certainly thought so i went i i i went i was open-minded to the point of going i understand if that the guy had his suspicions raised or whatever

but then when you listen to those cell phone calls and he's like chasing the guy around the neighbor it was so painfully obvious to me that here's a guy that just wants to be a hero here's a wannabe cop that wants to be a hero and shit got out of hand he bit off more than he could chew he got his fucking ass kicked by a kid and he ended up killing somebody over it you know and like somehow slid through that self-defense loophole because, how old was Trayvon? 16. 16, got on top of him. Was beating his ass. Yeah, was beating his ass.

But, you know, look, it's like the Ferguson thing. Those two, all anybody was talking about was the video of the guy, the defenders of the cop. All they were talking about was the guy shoving the guy in the convenience store and stealing the cigar or whatever it was. Two white witnesses came out yesterday, finally, and said, we saw the shooting and his hands were up. His hands were up when he was shot. You know? Now, regardless of this weird phantom gunfire shot that happened when the cop was in the car, whatever weird fucking altercation thing happened there,

whether it was that dude's fault or the cop, whatever, regardless of any of that, the guy is getting chased, the cop is chasing him. If he's got his fucking hands up, you're a cop, dude. At that point, that's it. You don't shoot a dude to death. You just don't. Well, the guy who was the cop that shot him was also a guy that was a part of another band of cops that was so fucked up. They had so many complaints about them that they disbanded the whole department. And then he got hired by Ferguson.

Yeah. So he had a history of that kind of abuse. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it's so, you know, unless you don't want to talk about this anymore, but like, you know, again, with the Kumia thing, you know, look, at the end of the day with Anthony, and this is what, why when I saw the Ferguson tweets, I was like, okay, that's it, I can't, you know, because when you see him, I don't want to get into what

he was tweeting, but like, the point is, is that the point is that I harshly didn't agree with it. Well, I think he's a bit like, you know, I mean, I don't want to cast him in a bad light because he's my friend, but I think he's a bit like your friend, the spurned lover. I mean, I think there's a little bit of that, that he's fired by this company.

He's like, yeah, fuck you. I'm going to go even deeper with it now. I'm getting even more crazy with it now. I don't give a fuck. No, yeah. You know what I'm saying? No, he is. And it's, I got to say, man, even deeper with it now i'm getting even more crazy with it now i don't give a fuck no yeah you know what i'm saying no he is and it's it's i i gotta say man like at the end of the day um i the whole thing just makes me sad and i know at probably deep in his core anthony doesn't really give a fuck about what i think we were friends uh and you know like we used to hang out

i was bummed out man i was bummed out that I felt like I got to a point with a friend where I was like I don't think I can hang out with this guy anymore and it really bummed me out but did you talk to him in person I texted him twice what'd he say he he didn't respond to the first one the second one he responded to me uh the second text I sent I was a little pissed honestly that i didn't get a response from the first one and i texted him a second time like two weeks later and i said hey man i don't know if you got my other text but uh the first text was just like hey man you know i know you're going through some shit right now i'm sorry that you're in a tough position and i just

want you to know I had great times in the studio with you and I wish you well man I felt like I could say that much to a guy even though I didn't agree with the shit that came out of his mouth I could say that much to him I owe a lot of my career to Opie and Anthony and Jimmy

so that was the first text I didn't hear back from him and I was like okay fine and then two weeks later I texted him again I said hey man I don't know if you got my other text, but there's some guy online writing fake retweets of me saying really nasty shit about you. I go, I'm not, those aren't my tweets. That's not me.

And then he responded to that one. He was like, hey, man, I always knew we were cool. Don't worry about it. Da-da-da-da. And I was like, oh, cool, man. Like don't worry about it and i was like oh cool man like you know let's have a beer at some point because in my head i was like this was still before the red eye clip or at least i saw the red eye clip and stuff and i was still thinking like this will turn around this will turn around that's what i just kept thinking and after that

i started seeing all the other stuff and that's when i started to be like whoa whoa whoa and i'll be honest man like what really bummed me out one day was was he like kind of he knew i was getting a lot of shit online because his name was in the tweets and he never once told these people to leave me the fuck alone but But don't you think that he was, first of all, this was a national story. Yeah. Okay, this is a huge story. Don't you think that he was probably completely overwhelmed and may very well have been ignoring his at replies because they were overwhelming. He said nice things about Burr.

He said nice things about Bobby Kelly. He said nice, there's other comics, I don't remember. He said nice things about me. He said nice things about you. He ignored you. Well, he doesn't't like it i'm not important enough i'm not important enough seriously that you think that's it or is it just like here's why i think that's what it is here's why i think that's what it is because not only did he not help get some of the fucking heat off of me. And there was a lot of it. When he finally did address me on Twitter,

as people like Colin Quinn and... Who's the guy from The Vice Guy? What's his name? Which Vice Guy? God damn it. Shane? Shane Smith? Not Shane. The guy that left Vice with the beard.

Oh, the guy who got in trouble recently for talking about transsexuals? Probably. Gavin? Gavin. Gavin. Yeah. Gavin and Colin Quinn were getting tweets like, Hey, would you please come do my new show?

I'll send a car for you. Ha ha ha. DM me. Come do my show, please. My tweet? In car for you. Ha ha ha. DM me. Come do my show. Please. My tweet in the midst. By the way. By the way.

Is this Anthony? Yes. Tweeting them? You sound like a spurned lover now. Do you feel that? No, I'm just going to say something. A lot of spurned lover talk today. By the way.

By the way. Some of my, I guess, anger about the situation is when you're sitting at your aunt's funeral who was like a second mother to you and your phone keeps buzzing because you're getting tweets like you're a talentless, selfish, shitbag, cunt, stick up for Kumia. Okay. Well, you need to take those fucking at replies off your fucking notifications. You don't have your phone buzz when people tweet you. Right. What are you, an amateur?

Right. But maybe. Doug Benson. but maybe. Doug Benson. But my point is, is like, there was some,

there was some personal stuff in there because I was like, I was like, I'm getting shit for not, this guy doesn't give a fuck about me. Okay. Obviously, like he's doing whatever he wants. Why am I being held?

Maybe he's just overwhelmed, man. So. I mean, you gotta talk to a guy before you form an opinion. In my opinion. Well,

this was the tweet I got. This was the tweet I got. Okay. Hey, fuckhead. From you? From Anthony. Hey, fuckhead. Are you gonna do my show when you're in new york that's the tweet i got when he knew there was bullshit going

on online then he calls me out in front of everybody like you're on the spot douche let's go dance are you coming on or not and i responded you know i'm 10% black, right? Because I thought that was fucking funny. Right. And nothing. Nothing. Okay. Not a favorite, not a reply, nothing. This is all very personal.

You probably shouldn't have aired it out in this manner. Why? You got all worked up. I'm not worked up. But this is all just an interpersonal situation. We were talking about a more complex issue of racism the what he said now and then it became all about him not being nice to you no no i don't did kind of no no no little it seems like you're taking twitter way too seriously also but i mean when whenever i have a problem with twitter i

either ban user doesn't ignore it or anything like that but it seems like you take your very uh or do you do in your personal life before twitter and everything do you do you get in a lot of confrontations with people no no i don't i i used to i don't a lot in my personal life i like i used to i used to be bad about confrontation i used to but the only reason i'm bringing in any personal stuff is because you were asking me when i said he doesn't give a fuck about me you know like to the guy man you gotta talk to him sometimes you know sometimes the people are busy man and when when he said fuck face or whatever he says like hey fuck face are you gonna do my show or whatever he said do you think maybe he was just like hey fuck face what are you gonna do my show that sounds like a text i might get from

brian yeah because it seems like you in your head were reading it like Hey fuckface You were all worked up I mean let's build it up You were all worked up Your aunt died You're at the funeral Your phone's busy

Buzzing It's possible It still doesn't change the fact that I wouldn't do the show I mean because You wouldn't do it because of that? No because of the stuff he said Yeah but didn't you... I would do it, even though I don't agree with what he said,

because he's my friend, and if we disagreed, I'd like to disagree with him on air. Like, you know, people that I'm friends with have opinions I don't agree with. And sometimes I've had opinions that are off-base, and someone has sort of explained things to me in a way that's made me think about things in a different way. I don't know if Anthony's capable of being reached like that,

but sometimes you can communicate with someone and say something that opens their eyes. I always, in the beginning of this whole situation, I absolutely thought that he was. And I have lost the hope of that. And I feel like at this point, for me to act like it's like I'm like... See, I feel like if I say this, it sounds like I'm judging you, and I don't mean to be judging you right now. But I feel like if I were to go on his show, it would make it... Unless it was under the guise of, Joe, come on and we'll debate race.

And it's like, okay, then I could go on and... Hey, doesn't matter what this guy thinks i am allowed to do this but if i went on the show and let's say we didn't get around to debating race now i'm sitting and we're just laughing and yuck it to me that looks like i'm giving a stamp of approval you know and i i can't it's like you know it's okay i could i could understand your opinion i mean um my uh friendship with him is uh it's pretty deep i i've really enjoyed doing that show and i have a lot of respect for him and i probably don't agree with him on a lot of issues when it comes to race especially because because i've i have these opinions about things being much much more complicated than simply black people do this

white people do that i don't think it's that i I think it's poverty. It's an economic, it's a cultural issue. It's an issue with people get stuck. They're stuck in bad neighborhoods. They're stuck in economic situations. And I think we probably both agree with that. Yeah. And Anthony has some very good points about the reality of statistics in these communities. I think it's a much more complex issue but sure his his um issue is that people want to deny those realistic statistics the reality of those statistics is undeniable in my opinion i just think that there's more to it than simply the statistics sure and i think that society as a whole has done a really shitty job at taking care of the lowest social and economic rung of the ladder i think people have ignored it because it's convenient because they don't have to

do anything about it yeah yeah but but you know a lot of people accuse you of socialism if you say things like that i've i i you know someone called me a socialist today because of that i'm like you know look if you think taking care of poor babies is socialism yeah i'm a socialist but yeah well you know what i mean i mean it's just like they didn't fucking ask to be born to ghetto Look, if you think taking care of poor babies is socialism, yeah, I'm a socialist. But, yeah, well. You know what I mean? I mean, it's just like, they didn't fucking ask to be born in a ghetto, man. And if you can't feel that, you know, you don't have any remorse or, you know, any compassion for people that are born in terrible situations. To me, that's a mark against you as a human being.

I agree with that. I totally agree with that which is why so why wouldn't you just have a discussion with him about it like to try to figure out how do you have a discussion with a guy that doesn't return your text okay or doesn't get back to you okay but by the way but if he did would you still you know i'm saying like if he did would you have that conversation? Because you just said that you thought it would give him a stamp of approval. No, no, no, no, no. That's not what I said. What I said was, I said I would absolutely go on his show if the purpose was to discuss race. I wouldn't go on the show if that wasn't preset that we were going to do that.

Because if we didn't get around to discussing race, then we're just having a good time you know what i mean and it's that's that's it's just not cool to me but you know i just look i now here's the thing here's the thing and again i i want to well let me just say this to defend myself a little bit i am not sore about the way he treated me i'm not upset say butthurt yeah i'm not butthurt thank you i'm not my my ass my little assy poo doesn't hurt um i like like and i'm not trying to and i'm in no way trying to air a grievance a personal grievance right now on your show about this in any fucking way okay i only went into that stuff because you were when i started to talk about i don't think he really cares what i think um i had a i had a friendship with the guy um you know when i reached out and tried to get to a deeper place with him about this and discuss

maybe have a discussion or whatever about this let Let's grab a beer. My let's grab a beer never received a response. You know, I didn't get the... Okay, let's stop right here because this really is very personal. You know what I mean? This is not about the issue itself. This is between you and him and your relationship, and I don't know what the fuck it is. But I think what they should have done from the beginning is say,

we're going to ride our contract out when that bitch is over we're going to go on the internet do the opium anthony show when our contract is out i mean i don't even know if they can say that but their contract is out in like october they might already be doing planning that i hope they are because i think that the reality of satellite radio is it's awesome because it's in your car it's way better than terrestrial radio you got howard stern you got opie and anthony you got all these radio stations that have you know have great music on them right find channels you can find you know i love classic vinyl it's great i love listening to satellite radio but you have to listen to what they want you to listen to i don't listen to it i have it in my car most of the time i listen to podcasts right most of the time i'm

listening to hardcore history or radio lab or you know any of our friends podcasts that's what i do most of the time i don't i don't i just think it's an archaic way to get programming it's this idea that you have to listen to what's on when it's on i mean that's great if you happen to be flipping through the channels or you turn on your car and opie and Anthony comes on or the Anthony and Jimmy show, whatever they call it now, or Opie and Jimmy, when it comes on and it's an interesting interview, it's great. Right. But sometimes you just want to listen to what you want to listen to. Sure. It would be great if I could say, oh, look, Joe DeRosa's on Joey Diaz's podcast.

Let me just press play on that. Sure. Or I could go listen to Arnold Schwarzenegger on The Nerdist or this and that or, you know, whatever. Sure. That, I think, is the future. And I think that's the present also. And I think that once that's readily available in all cars at all times, the idea of them

working for satellite radio will be kind of silly. Like, why would you choose to have a boss? What is the difference between the distribution method of satellite radio and the internet i'll tell you what the difference is there is a difference satellite radio is more restrictive well yeah more restrictive more advertising you don't get as much of a piece of it and you've got this massive overhead because you're attached to this gigantic company that's totally unnecessary and you can get fired apparently you can get fired for for talking and you you have to rent this giant fucking building you mean there's a fucking floor you have to show id you go up to the whatever floor it is it's way the fuck up there

there's all this money that's being spent where look at this fucking place this reaches the same amount of people or more really this show reaches more right most satellite radio shows and we do it from a fucking office park it's a joke i know that the future is the distribution method is changing and the distribution method i think it's being tested by these sort of situations where you find out that you could be fired for something totally unrelated to the show right it's not like they went on the show and he said something that the company can't like he went on the show and said something totally racist and the company's like you can't say that on our show you're fired no he said it on his own Twitter. You know, at the very least, they should have had some form of a debate with the guy.

But I think there's more to it than that. And I think when you talk about this white nationalist radio station that he went on, I think there's a little bit of that there, too. Like, there might have been more to behind the scenes. Well, but, and this is, and I'm no way retreading or trying to beat a dead horse here but this is why i'm saying i'm not trying to be personal i agree with everything you're saying but i'm saying how i feel like i almost felt like he wasn't that open to having the discussion maybe he wasn't so it's like how can you on the one hand everybody and this is

what's driving me nuts about like this sort of blind, like, like I know what's going to happen. I'm going to leave here. I'm going to get a flood of tweets tonight. You know why? You know why you're going to? Because I'm saying you care. Well, no, I don't. You're freaking out because they know they can make your phone buzz. Yeah. I don't, I'm going to shut that part off. You should have shut off already. How much has it gone off while the show's on? A lot. Crazy. I got a, I got a confession to make. I lied. I don't have my twitter alerts on my phone i went outside during the funeral to get some air and i checked my twitter and then i saw all the stuff but i was trying to just get through the god what was the last time it used to be on your phone oh it was just years that's a big lie

yeah it was a big lie i'm glad you owned up to that. Good for you. But that's, and it doesn't, I mean, I guess, yeah, to a certain extent, it does bother me that I'll get some of these tweets and whatever. But that to me is what bothers me about the whole discussion is because I feel like everybody's going, it should have been more open-minded. It should have been more open-minded. It's like, okay, well, I can speak from the place of somebody that was trying to approach it more open-minded and i felt like i didn't there wasn't an option to do that i felt like that wasn't there so well it's just because of your relationship with anthony well i i mean well no i also mean like just in the public discussion forums like the second you don't you didn't not you but anybody generally the second you didn't hashtag stand with ant or come out and say something you were a traitor and a piece of

shit and it's like well that's not open-minded discussion either but you're talking about the pests why are you looking for open-minded discussion those people are savages yeah they are they are i don't know i guess i always think that because the shitheels are more prone to write stuff or voice the negative opinion than the positive people are to voice the positive, it seems like the majority voice is that sort of negative voice sometimes. Well, they're more likely to fester and they're more likely to get crazy about it and obsess about it like i retweeted this one dude the other day about something and i saw him going back and forth with people for 13 hours yeah i retweeted him and he just

was battling people all day it became his life i mean it was every minute for 13 hours this guy was going back with people there's folks like that out there and you have to realize you can get caught into their web of psychosis uh i was gonna sorry i was gonna say something off topic no go ahead you want to talk about anxiety sure do you do you know this is we're getting into this this is beautiful man i mean i think it is i like how raw this discussion is. Do you know the surge, the full-body surge of anxiety I felt when you were like, let's stop there. This is getting way too personal.

Really? Dude, oh my God. It felt like I stuck my finger in a light socket. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no. Don't be sorry. I just felt like we were beating on the same path over and over again. It was getting to be like, you know, he fucking didn't call me you know no i didn't mean it like that i was i was

saying when you were saying why didn't you have a discussion i was saying i tried to and that was my attempt to and i didn't get a response so i don't know what else to do right um but then i knew you took it the other way because what you said and then i went right back to the beginning don't fuck this up first time on rogan's podcast. Rogan doesn't like you. You went down this road. Dude, it felt like I put my finger in an electric socket. Well, get it out of there. Go get a Band-Aid.

I'm just being 100% honest. No, I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. It's a complex subject. It's tricky. Also, too, I want to, you know, I'm not, I'll talk about myself as openly as I'll talk about anybody else. Like, you know, I'll beat on myself as much as I'll ever go after anybody. I know you will.

Yeah, it's, look, man, people fuck up and they say things that are wrong. They say things that they don't mean. The real question is, did he say things that he doesn't mean? Did he say things, was he upset mean did he say things was he upset or is that what he really feels and if that's the case then it becomes a real issue because if that's the case if he denies that there's some complexities to it but i don't she my my interactions with him my communication with him has not been that my communications with him has been there is a real problem in those communities but it's not his fault and he's what he deals with is the pc denial of these real

problems in that community i agree with that i agree with that and that was always how it seemed to be at least at the times when i was in the studio and stuff and would hear it and when we hung out i mean dude this is a dude i can't stress this enough i'm bummed about the whole thing first and foremost because this is a dude i used to have a great fucking time with we would drink dude i had so much fun with him and it never got heavy ever ever ever ever so like uh the uh when i when when the discussions of this stuff would come up on the show when it when you're in the room it sounded a little little more to me like what you're saying. Like he's addressing that there was this problem.

But then there was also the times where he would get real mad on the air. And even in those times, you're like, okay, he just got a little hot today and that's not that big of a deal. But then when all these things happened after the show, or after he was fired from the show, that's when it started to feel kind of like weird to me, where I was like, okay, well, was all that anger coming from a different place? You know, or... Yeah. I don't know, man.

The radio show thing fucked me up. The white nationalist thing fucked me up. Yeah, well, that'll do it. I mean, I don't know what, you know, I don't know how to take that. Yeah, that's lighting someone's house on fire. I mean, that's like you break up with someone, you fucking burn all their records.

It's so crazy to me that I almost feel like it. I'm like, maybe somebody's going to write later tonight and be like, that's not true. That was a made-up thing. I don't fucking know. Maybe he was drinking. Maybe he was, who knows? Who knows?

I don't know. I would have to communicate with him. I would have to pay attention to what he actually said on that show. I didn't see it. I didn't listen to it. But the fact that he went on a white national show is not good. You know, like, isn't it funny? You know, this is a funny thing, man, because, you know, I've been going back and forth with people because of something I said the other day on a podcast about Jon Jones, where I said that I think that a lot of the hate that John Jones gets, it's possible that some of it might be because of racism.

I said, I wonder if some of it might be because of racism. Those are my exact words. And people said, like there's headlines of things that said white guilt. Rogan thinks that it's all because of racism. It's such a hot-button topic. Right. If you bring it up in any form at all, you bring up racism in any form at all, people just immediately... It's a weird topic.

It's a tough subject, which is why I think if you're going to address problems in a community you have to also address potential solutions uh i don't and i don't think that happens often in the race discussion i think the race discussion is almost always two sides attacking one one side on a hard blind attack and another side on a hard blind defense attack, and another side on a hard, blind defense. But there's like double standards. And here's one of them. The heavyweight champion of the world is a dude named Cain Velasquez. Awesome fighter. Great guy.

Boxing? Heavyweight? UFC. UFC heavyweight champion. And he has brown pride tattooed across his chest because he's Mexican. Brown pride. his chest because he's mexican brown pride could you imagine if there was a white guy who was the heavy if brock lesnar won the heavyweight title and then got white pride tattooed across his chest yeah but here's the difference here's to me here's the difference with that argument brown pride

never meant the same thing as white pride white pride has always been synonymous with white power. Always. Those two terms have never not been linked to one another. guy all about brown pride when it's like hey man i'm from a suppressed people or oppressed people excuse me uh and and hey man i'm proud of who i am nobody would have a problem with a white guy that's where it's an italian pride or irish pride that's true nobody would have a problem with that that's very true that's very true it's overall white would be an issue But that's true If someone had Irish pride written on their chest Like if Colin McGregor Conor McGregor rather Had Irish pride on his back He's a famous Irish fighter

Nobody would give a fuck That's true He's a proud Irishman There's nothing wrong with that He says he's a proud Irishman English pride would be fine Anyone Polish

German Maybe not German German would be a real issue, anyone. Polish? German? Maybe not German. German would be a real issue. It'd be like, what are you proud about? Exactly. Our engineering, our cars. Okay, okay. Okay, cool.

Yeah. Military accomplishments aside. Yeah, no, it's... I mean, this whole... Dude, it goes back to the thing you said about certain communities having to deal with certain setbacks, right? I'm not putting words in your mouth here. That's essentially what you said. Certain communities have had certain setbacks.

The white community as a whole has not faced too many setbacks. It's just a fact. Most of global tyranny, violence, genocide, whatever, a big chunk of it has been perpetuated by white people. And white people have pretty much prevailed in the majority in most of the societies that they have ever existed in.

Not saying there aren't poor white people. I don't agree with that whole white people problems bullshit. I'm not saying that white people poor white people i don't agree with that whole white people problems bullshit you know i'm not saying that white people can't have a hard time uh and i'm not saying that there aren't people that aren't white that are as well off or way better off than a lot of white people right but if you want to speak in generalities uh of race white has had the least amount of headaches so it's tough when the people that has had the least amount of headaches. So it's tough when the people that have had the least amount of setbacks

and the least amount of headaches stand to the side and go, stop your complaining. Stop your complaining. Because then it starts to be like, fuck you, man. Fuck you. That's like somebody going, you know, Joe, you know, man. Oh, did you take jujitsu when you were a kid? Because your upbringing was so bad?

Oh, stop fucking. You know what I mean? Then you want to be like, hey, fuck you. You don't know anything about my fucking upbringing. I probably wouldn't handle it that way, but go ahead. But I'm saying it would feel disrespectful if I spoke to you that way. But I'm saying it would feel disrespectful if I spoke to you that way. I don't think the comparison is a martial arts comparison because, yeah, I think the race issue is a bigger issue. Of course it's bigger.

It's darker. It's more fucked up. And racism to me is one of the most unfortunate aspects of humanity. it's one of the most unfortunate aspects of humanity. This idea of just seeing someone, basing it on all the data that you've accumulated in the X amount of years you've been alive, all the bad experiences you've had with white people or black people, whatever it is that you have a racism towards,

and then automatically assuming that this person who you have no interaction with whatsoever is negative based on that. It's just so limiting and it's so unfortunate. It's one of the most unfortunate aspects of being a person so i can never support it but um i think it's a complex subject for debate it's a very complex subject there's a lot going on there and anybody that pretends it isn't whether it's anthony or whether it's on the progressive side you know who whichever side has a non-nuanced opinion on it i think it's yeah it's a disservice to a complex topic i have a i have a real problem when the topic is addressed uh with with the with

the um the approach of stop your belly aching yeah that's just people fucking with you you know it's this simple do you know what i mean it's this simple. Do you know what I mean? It's this simple, guys. Slavery, get over it. I mean, I've heard people say that. I've heard people say, slavery, get over it. I've heard Jewish people say, oh, I'm sick of hearing this. We were in the Holocaust.

And it's like, you guys were, and that's fucking terrible. But at the same time, guys, Jesus, I'm not saying all Jewish people say that, but I've heard Jewish people say that about black people. but i've heard black people say we don't give a fuck about the holocaust it's not just white people is my point or you know or the classic stereotypical white people doing this it comes from all sides you know italian people and irish people will say it oh big deal we were in the ghettos when we first came here it's like yeah but it's just everybody's got their different their different run through this and there's a snowball effect that happens

and it's it's complicated yeah no it's definitely complicated you know yeah so i mean um it it would be nice if we could just judge people on who sucks and then figure out why they suck and then but you know what man i wonder if it's even fucking possible to ever work it out i i kind of feel like to the day humans stop until the day we become something else i just don't see how there's ever going to be a universal group of people that gets it right like like where anybody any culture ever like completely gets it right. Like where any culture ever completely gets it right. Where there's no fuckheads, there's no jealousy, there's no bullshit, there's no insecurity or nonsense.

I think other countries on the planet have a shot at it. Really? I don't think this one has a chance. Who's got a shot at it? Iceland or something like that? Yeah. Somewhere there's only like 100 people. Yeah, yeah.

I think Canada might have a shot, you know? they do better than us I'll tell you that yeah I think other countries might have a shot at complete harmony amongst people of any color whatever it will never happen here it will never happen here this country is built on a disgusting foundation there are too many skeletons in the closet there's too much dirt too much pain it's built on it's just built on too much pain and turmoil and and deceit and and whatever and it's like when you start something like that when you start the practice like that steal the land steal the people so we can prosper how could it ever bounce back because that just will continue and continue and continue and snowball and snowball and stumble till you have these seemingly unfixable problems

seemingly unfixable and i don't say that to uh to to to take hope away from anybody that's in a dire situation i think all these things are able to be risen above on an individual level on an individual level on individual levels but i mean for god sakes it's like we have you look at the situations in the inner cities because of all these different factors that we're talking about uh and how it began, and how it got to where it is now and everything. It's like, how could you ever, in a million years, rectify that? All right, let me tell you this. What if you're the president?

Yep. President DeRosa. All of a sudden they say, we've decided to start electing stand-up comedians. They have good philosophical points. Like, what would you do? What would you do to try to fix shit? Do you have any answers? Or do you just look at it and go, it's all fucked up?

Do you ever, like, go past, it's all fucked up? Do you ever, like, see if I was going to do something about it, what would I do? I have a very hard time seeing past. Yeah, this would be my one suggestion. It would be strive for independent strive for individual success strive for individual success because when you try everybody everybody i think by just by default i don't know what it is i guess it's just survival tactics or whatever we all sort of have that run with the pack mentality you know it's like when you're whatever. We all sort of have that run with the pack mentality.

It's like when you're growing up, no matter what kind of neighborhood you live in, whether it's a suburb or the projects or in a fucking country dirt road, on a country dirt road. Excuse me. There's always the one kid that's maybe going places, and that one kid always gets the same advice. You want to go anywhere? You better stop hanging around with these fucking knuckleheads that you're running around with,

because these guys are going to hold you back. Why? Because for some reason in anybody's community, the mentality, the notion is stick together. If you leave, that means you think you're better. That means you think you're different. Dude, it happened to me, and I'm from the fucking suburbs. So it's not just a thing you hear about in rap songs when guys are talking about people in the projects trying to hold them back.

It's a thing that happens all over. So if I was the president, I were the president, I would say to people, strive for independent success. Stop worrying about what's happening to the people. I'm not saying like in a callous way to fuck the people around you. Be concerned about your community. But strive for independent success because you're not going to be able

to fix the problem from within. You have to get out and fix it from the outside. And if enough people can get out and start to assist from the outside, then there's a chance. There's a chance at fixing this. There's a chance.

He's trying to break up the neighborhood. That's what I heard. See There's a chance. He's trying to break up the neighborhood. That's what I heard. See? Just fucking DeRosa's trying to break up the neighborhood. I was laughing with Ron from Ron and Fez about it. Like Philly. And he's like, you know, we were just laughing about trying to get out of Philly and the suburbs around Philly and stuff.

And guys just being like, where are you going? We got these sandwiches you know like you know what I mean and it's like we were laughing because it's just like yeah yeah I like I would have people be so fucking passive-aggressive with me and and you know like it took years and then like when I started to find a little bit of success in the business people that I was friends with would say things to me like, Fuck you, dude. Oh, Mr. Fucking Comedian's back in town.

And it's like, this is just shit people do wherever you live. They don't always do that, though. There's a lot of people that don't do that. I know. There's a little bit of that crabs in a bucket shit going on in the East Coast. Yes. but there's a little bit of that crabs in a bucket shit going on the east coast yes east coast more so i think and i i we've talked about this before but i believe it's because they're the children of immigrants that like almost everyone on the east coast is the grandfathers or the great grandfathers came over from europe or some other country landed on the east coast

and stayed there whereas by the time people got to the west coast they're a bit more progressive people more wanderlust, more people looking for different options. See, I don't totally agree. I think it happens here in a very different way. How's it happen here? I think here there's a massive, I'd say almost bleeding heart,

liberal mentality. I'd say almost bleeding heart liberal mentality. And at least from what I've experienced here as being somebody who needs to sort of assimilate into this system that's here. You know what I mean? Like I'm not to a point in my life where I can kind of just go off and do my own thing and be okay. point in my life where I can kind of just go off and do my own thing and and be okay like I still need to like meet the right people and and kind of work my way into the system and and all that stuff and familiarize myself with them and I find that there is a very very very like I said almost bleeding heart mentality here and it feels it feels like the same thing to me except in the other direction where it's like don don't go against the pack.

Don't say that. Don't you dare say that. Let me just clarify. You're talking about show business. Well, in my LA experience, but I think the city itself, I think at least Southern California, I think there's a certain common mentality that exists here. Like, hey, you can't act that way that's

too ed edgy meaning on edge not meaning you're saying edgy things are you but you're the majority of the people that you're communicating with are show business people though right probably yeah problem with the show business that you're communicating with you're talking about like people on television and things along those lines is that there's a lot of people trying to get people to hire them for things trying to get people to hire them for things trying to get people to cast them in shows trying to get people to give them deals trying to get people to like them right and the way to get people to like them is to subscribe to whatever popular opinions these people subscribe to and in show business it's almost universally liberal and that's one of

the things that people like charlton heston or Voight or Clint Eastwood have always complained about. These are the rare Hollywood conservatives because everyone in Hollywood is liberal. And I think that there's some valid discussion to that. But I think it's also the nature of the beast itself where you want people to like you. You want people to accept you. And there's a lot of fake fucks out here because of that. Because the business itself, it sort of rewards fakery it rewards conformity and the conformity a lot of it is this sort of left-wing liberal thinking so and what i'm what i'm saying is and i agree with you that's how they

get work and i agree with you uh what i'm saying is, I think that mentality exists everywhere. It can, sure. That I want people to like me. It's survival. It's survival. Yeah. I think there's a Carlin line where he says, species' first interest is always survival. So I just think that's a thing everywhere. So, like, you know, I just think that's a thing.

It's why whenever any one of us is at a party and we're outnumbered in opinion, whether it's a political discussion or a fucking discussion about people think Katy Perry's the best, whatever. That's when you just have to just walk away. Well, sure. The best what? She's got great tits. We're done. We're basically done now. But you won't walk away, sure.

But I'm saying, like, most of us feel that you tense up and you go, I don't want to say I don't really like Katy Perry's tits because now everybody in the room is going to be like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? Do you see what I'm saying? Like, I just, I don't know. I might be putting too fine a point on it. Sorry. Yeah, I know what you're saying, though.

I know what you're saying. There's definitely a strong urge to conform. It's part of being a human being. And yeah, you're right. It's part of like the only way you can ensure your survival is that you're a part of a group. I mean, that's ingrained in our DNA because at one point in time, that's how we survived when marauding tribes would come into our villages. You had to stay united as a united front. And I think there's,

it's a stronger urge in these places where, you know, like in Philly and places along those lines where, you know, these communities stay intact. Whereas in LA, there's more wandering LA. Everyone's transient.

They came here from another place. They move around. And I don't think it's the same thing, but there's definitely like Brian posted that thing up. I don't know if you saw it, but they did a Twitter map of hate speech, East Coast to West Coast. And racial and homophobic. Yeah, look at it.

It's overwhelmingly East Coast. Overwhelmingly. And I personally, this is just my own theory, it's probably like Michael Jackson doesn't have any balls theory. It probably sucks. But I think that a lot of that has to do with the spread of immigration and my own experience with immigrants. My grandparents were immigrants on both sides. And I grew up in New Jersey and then in Boston,

and I grew up around a lot of immigrants, people that were children of immigrants or grandchildren of immigrants. And I think that that's a lot of what happens. I think there's just a trap. And it's not as bad as a trap that's a lot of what happens i think there's just uh there's a trap you know and it's not as bad as a trap that's in the impoverished black communities but it's still a very similar trap sure as far as a behavioral trap sure people are fucking strange man because it took a lot of work to get to 2014 with all the rhinos and lions and fucking poisonous bugs and all the shit that's out there that could fuck you

up sure took a long time and a lot of work for us to get to where we are today with lava lamps and laptops and shit you know we had a we had to get our way through a lot of things we had to stay protected while we innovate you know here's a crazy thing i just totally off subject but i think we've beaten this to death anyway um they found a huge underground reservoir recently that holds three times as much water as the earth's oceans yeah how's that possible it's well this is on it's on fucking nova okay this is a pbs website that has this this is it's unbelievable this is an unbelievable discovery it's a study that was published in science magazine that earth's water may have been there all along oozing out gradually from the rock deep in the

crust that was pressed up by intense heat and pressure below the surface because a lot of our theories about how earth became so covered in water was was that, was comets, was comets. That comets, when you see a comet streaking across the sky, what you're seeing is melting ice. You're seeing enormous, you know, miles-wide chunks of ice that are flying through space. And the trail, the tail of the comet is actually ice being, you know, evaporating as these things fly through the air.

being, you know, evaporating as these things fly through the air. So this is this new study that they have found this water in these subterranean, I don't know how it, I don't understand it. It's called subterranean woodite, ringwoodite, R-I-N-G-W-O-O-D-I-T-E. I don't know what that means. A deep blue mineral chemically similar to peridot, P-E-R-I-D-O-T. A green mineral often used in jewelry and that it's been found in meteorites. And this ringwoodite came from the transition zone between the upper and lower mantle, about 400 miles below the Earth's surface.

It's about 15% of the weight of this stuff turned out to be water. And it says if a lot of this water-heavy mineral existed underground, scientists reasoned that there might be enough water to explain where Earth's oceans came from. And so then they started doing these studies and tried to figure this out, and they found this insane amount of water below the Earth's surface. Okay. This is incredible. What are they going to do with the water?

I don't know. I don't know. The layer holds three times as much water as all the Earth's oceans combined. It's incredible. So it reduced the... Right now, people think that the Earth is 96% water, or 96% of the water is in the ocean. Now they're saying it's only 24% of the water on Earth is in the ocean. Really?

Yeah. I wonder if there's any life in that water. I don't think so, because I think what they're saying, they're saying this ringwoodite stuff, it's that water is compressed in these minerals. See, this is the exact way they word it. Obviously, I'm an idiot, but bear with me. Northwestern University professor who led the study

found water in subterranean ringwoodite, a deep blue mineral chemically similar to peridot, a green mineral often used in jewelry. Until a sample turned up in 2008 in a diamond coughed up from a volcano, ringwoodite had only been found in meteorites. The ringwoodite came from the transition zone, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If a lot of this water heavy mineral existed underground so this water heavy mineral is what contains all this water so i don't know if they can get it out of the water see it sounds like you know you would you

would hear that and you would say oh there's like rivers under the ocean i don't think they're saying that i think what they're saying is this water heavy mineral is so dense in the earth under the earth's mantle that the the amount of water in it is much more than the amount that's in the oceans really yeah that's amazing well they're learned you know they've they're learning shit about the earth just the earth the thing we live on they're learning things every day it's there's all the data's not in yet it's a it's i find it incredibly overwhelming like you know we just had that really long discussion about race and how complicated and how deep that all is and that's just a discussion pertaining to people in just this country yeah not even the people of the entire world and now we're into a

discussion about how we're learning about the actual earth and now there's three times more water here than we thought there was whatever it is and it's so fucking over like that discussion into that news piece it's i literally have the same feeling I had when I was at the Grand Canyon and I was like, I don't even exist. This is like, you know what I mean? Like, I've never felt more like a speck of dust right now. I'm completely overwhelmed. I really mean that.

Well, then they keep finding these Goldilocks planets, these planets in the Goldilocks zone that are capable of supporting the same type of life that exists on Earth. I mean, scientists say that life can exist in a bunch of different ways than they never thought before. Like, they're finding life in these volcanic vents deep, deep, deep in the ocean where they never thought that any being

could survive the extreme temperatures. You know, they're essentially living off lava and the ocean floor. You know, these vents are giving birth to these weird kind of life forms. What are the life forms like down there? Some fucking creepy things, some creepy plant life and weird animal life. But they found a new type of mushroom that was recent.

It's a recent study. New mushroom that defies classification. It's a new type of life, and they just found it. But with the animal, the lava animal thing, when you say animal life, do you mean literally animal life? Well, you know, microscopic things. Microscopic stuff, yeah. Things that are alive. Like this deep sea mushroom that they found.

This is a new one that they found. This is off of the BBC's Science and Environment page. It's a mushroom-shaped sea animal discovered off an Australian coast that has defied classification in the tree of life. So this is a new type of life form that they found. This is fucking crazy shit, man. You know, finding something like this is extremely rare. It's maybe only happened four times in the last 100 years, they're saying.

They don't know what it is they're like what the fuck is this stuff it's like it's not quite a plant that's fucking wild jesus christ that's literally star trek shit like when there would be plants with like mouths and eyes that might be the beginning of something like that well you know if you think about plants like venus fly traps and shit like that where they have carnivorous plants. At what point is a plant an animal? I mean, when plants start fucking closing in on flies and eating them, I get it, it's a plant. But that's a predator.

It lays traps and it actually has action. It moves. I always wanted one of those. Those are dope. Do you have one? No, but I should get them now that I bring it up. I had one. I had one that died. I remember what happened. And what do you do? Do you have one? No, but I should get them now that I bring it up. I had one. I had one that died.

I remember what happened. And what do you do? Do you have to buy flies to feed it? Yeah, you have to have a shitty house. Otherwise you'd be rude. It's like you wouldn't have a cat and not have cat food. If you have a Venus flytrap, you can't just fucking water it. You gotta throw some flies in there. I wonder what you do. Do you buy dead

flies? Yeah, you probably buy dead flies to feed it or some kind of like larva to feed it you'd have to hope that somebody left a window open otherwise but how cool would that be i'm such a jackass i keep looking at the fucking screen and then it yeah that's why i tell people that's why i've been asking you to shut these off right there's a plant that that's all right there's a plant that eats rats get the fuck out of here i'm not kidding i'm not kidding no there's a plant i eats rats. Get the fuck out of here. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. No, there's a plant. I believe it's in the Amazon.

It captures rats. It captures rats? Yeah, it eats mice. Yeah, Google it, Brian. Rat eating plant. There's a video on wimp.com. Don't play the video, because otherwise we'll get another fucking strike against us on YouTube. What do you mean?

It's so bizarre. Every time we play videos or things, there's all these weird... Is it supposed to be fair use, like when you're discussing something online? It fits the boundaries of fair use, the definition of fair use, but people can still dispute it. Right. You know, it's fair use. And then they put a hold on your youtube video and if it goes against you you get a certain amount of them they can pull your videos down it's just fucking stupid

but it's stupid there is a plant um it's a carnivorous plant it eats frogs it eats mice it eats all kinds of different shit really yeah if you just google it it called, here's a fucking name and a half, right? Ew, is that it? Yeah. It's called Nepenthes Attenboroughi. Is it possible that you could put it up on the screen and not put it on the screen where the people at home see it? Can you do that? Meaning we watch it, but they can't see it?

Yeah. Yeah, hold on a second. Yeah, this just, if you want to Google it, folks, just Google plant that eats rats. That's what I did. It's fucking incredible. I swear to God, I thought you were yelling at him for a second, and I got super uncomfortable. What do you mean? For a second. Just now?

When you went, is it possible for you, and I thought you were going to be like, is it possible for you not to fucking keep switching the screen? I thought that's what you were going to do, and I was like, oh, Jesus, I don't want to see this happen. You're full with anxiety today, dude. I am. I am. You know.

Do you get a lot of massages? No, I get no massages. You should get massages every day. You should smoke weed every day. Smoke weed every day. I don't know. Dude, if I. Look at this rat eating plant, man.

The folks at home can't see this. What are they seeing? Just us? Your logo. Okay, good. So this is the fucking plant. I guess it's growing here. Is that what's going on here?

Yeah. This is it growing up. So it gets to a certain size. And when it gets to a certain size, it's completely carnivorous. It eats frogs, mice. It captures them. It opens up like this thing. And I believe it has like a sweet sweet fermented uh smell to it and these things

go in it because they think this is like some food in there and then it jacks them is that a snake or is that no that's that's it's like tentacles or whatever the fuck it is jesus christ this is literally like little shop of horror shit yeah it is it's like invasion of the body snatchers type shit that thing is fucking nasty looking it's enormous too that's the the weird thing about it it's it's an enormous enormous thing that that literally looks like a star trek plant yeah you would think that it would be like from avatar or something like that right but it is a real thing thank you for having a more recent reference than Star Trek. That was the best sci-fi.

I'm terrible sometimes with references. Now, is it going to show a rat go into it? Yeah, yeah, it will eventually show something go into it. I forget. I've seen this video. But there's a bunch of videos of them online. These are fairly recent discoveries, too. I don't think they discovered it until the 2000s.

Yeah, here it is. May 2010, the International Institute for Species Exploration at Arizona State University selected this plant as one of the top 10 new species described in 2009. So in 2009, they started finding that this thing's a real plant. I don't understand how we didn't know about a plant until 2009. Oh, there's a lot of plants we still don't know about in the amazon that's incredible to me well the amazon is so fucking big you know when you if there's a weird distortion thing when you look at um any sort of a map you know like have you ever seen like a realistic interpretation of the size of continents uh no yeah see if uh you could find

that brian realistic i'm learning a lot today yeah realistic size of continents do you just read this shit like constantly yeah i got problems man no i don't i'm not criticizing i do i have problems um it's not a problem i'm envious of your knowledge of all this stuff i really wish that i had uh i don't know anything about sports i know nothing about sports i asked you before if that guy was the boxing champion that you mentioned oh kane velasquez yeah i didn't even know that uh the uh i i wish i knew i find this stuff so interesting and yet i never remember to read any of it and then i start to try to look it up, and I can't remember. Look how fucking big Africa is.

You can fit a whole United States in there, and a China, and an India, and Italy. I fit everything in Africa. But how the maps were drawn, for reasons, it just appears smaller. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, it's crazy. And that's the rainforest in the Congo and the African rainforest. But there's also the South American rainforests.

They're massive. The rainforests in Brazil and Peru and down there. I mean, there's so many plants. And that's one of the reasons why these pharmaceutical companies keep going down there to try to explore and find out new plants that can provide new drugs and good reasons for cancer medications and cure diseases and things along those lines. And also, there's some of them that they're using for, they're trying to do research on this ant. There's an ant called the bullet ant.

One of the most painful stings in the world. But it doesn't just sting you. Oh, not the bullet ant. Caps your ass. It really fucks you up. That one fucks you up. They're trying to use that for something else. I got it confused.

It's actually the Brazilian wandering spider I was going to bring up. The Brazilian wandering spider. It's so fucked up. It stings you. It's in the jungle of Brazil. It stings you and gives you an unbelievably painful erection to the point where if you survive where a lot of people don't if you survive your dick is broken forever it'll never work it again it red lines your dick and it works in the same sort of way like viagra works where it

it gives you nitric oxide it produces some massive amount of nitric oxide in your body. So all of your muscles become incredibly painful, like just massive agony. Think of your whole body just redlined all the time, and your dick. Your dick's hard as fuck, and it breaks it, breaks your dick. But you don't orgasm during this process. No, ever again.

Maybe you've stuck your finger up your ass while it was going down, you might be able to pull something off. Let's not make it gross. It wouldn't be happy. It wouldn't be a happy coming. It would be the last one. Yeah, that's fucked up. What's that thing called?

It's called the Brazilian wandering spider. And so these pharmaceutical companies are trying to figure out how to make that the new super Viagra. Not that they need it. Doesn't Viagra work? can't they just move on and the reason is it's like they want to have something that's new you know it's like there's competing forces like there's viagra then there's cialis came along we last longer and then you know there's other ones we don't give you as much of a headache and then there's this one and that one and they're always trying to find some new one but they're

trying to figure out a way to use this evil fucking murderous spiders venom and get your dick hard with it. It's like that old Leary joke about cocaine or crack. He's like, this is the only country where cocaine wouldn't be fast enough. Somebody needed something faster. But that's how it is with those penis drugs. It's like, how much fucking stronger and faster does this need to get how much harder does that your dick need to be it's an unnatural yeah erection i don't mean just because it's caused unnaturally i mean the type of erection you get from it is fucking unnatural

great you know when it's also if you found that like if say they found that they've isolated components in plants that can give you that, what else is out there? Is there something out there that makes kids grow taller? Is there something out there that cures autism? Is there something out there that makes your hair grow back? Is there something out there that, you know, there's so many hundreds of thousands of plants that are undiscovered. I mean, there's just areas where they just don't go.

There's people don't get to. The density of the rainforest is just so incredible i'm i'm i'm absolutely amazed that this spider the wandering spider can do this to you and scientists are forget like that it's even stronger than viagra but like that scientists are like let's fuck with that let's see what we can get out of it you know what i mean like it's just no leave that thing alone it's the worst thing in the world leave it alone don't try to unless you're going to try to make some kind of bio weapon with it you know what i mean like leave it the fuck alone yeah it's one of the worst um apparently one of the worst stings you can ever get one of the most toxic venoms that

they've ever discovered a lot of people die from it, too. That sounds horrible. What a terrible world. That's one of the things I don't like about the West Coast is there's a much higher concentration of poisonous spiders and shit out here. That was never a thing on the East Coast. But I had a black widow in my house one day and I was just like, what the fuck? Twice now in my house, I've killed spiders

that have clear spots on their tail. Or not tail, but you know what I mean the butt part Whatever that's called. What's that? One of them was a fucking black widow. I had a big fucking dot on its back red big red thing I mean it was red or white. I can't remember which black widow which the black widow is but whatever it is It was that yeah, they fuck with I mean they don't fuck with you You have to like get near them and scare them for them to sting you but they're goddamn everywhere out here yeah oh dude black widows are all over the place my back porch

is literally you can find 20 of them and just sitting down they're everywhere there's i have so much trees and spider webs and what sucks is at night i'll go out and have a cigarette and i've walked through so many spider webs that i i'm surprised that i did you ever get bit by one i probably i had only I have to have Isn't a black widow Like very poisonous? I think the brown widow Is

I don't know I know one of them Is more poisonous Than the other My ex-girlfriend's dog Actually died from getting Bitten by one of the widows Jesus Christ

Are we allowed to go To the bathroom on this show? Yeah go pee man Go pee We'll talk about phones While you're gone Like as you're talking About the hardest dick of all time, I have like a piss boner almost right there.

He's going to go jerk off. I got to think he is. Look at him. He's excited. He's going to jack off to alleviate anxiety. Did you check out the new iPhones and the new watch and all that stuff? Yeah, they look pretty cool. Did you hear about the Macworld staff?

Almost all of them got laid off today. They had to work like crazy covering the launch of the new phones and then today like everybody got laid off the biggest apple news day of the year and they laid off like almost the entire staff well it's so i mean that's that's ridiculous but it's amazing that they even lasted this long yeah you know right i mean because it's a magazine. Yeah. Magazines are so pointless nowadays. You have to print it? Yeah.

You buy Macworld right now, it's not talking about the new iPhones. It's not talking about all the news in the last month even probably. Okay, it's going away. What they're saying is Macworld.com will still continue, but Macworld print is gone. That's it. Wow. Economic reality of running a print publication. You know what they should do?

Bring back silent movies. I heard they're making a comeback. Do you guys know how to make smoke signals? Sell smoke signals? Yeah, they're going away. Why is everybody sad? It sucks that those folks lost their jobs, but what they should have done

is just transition those writers into the Macworld.com thing. They should have worked on it. They were valuable employees. And everybody's pissed off. A lot of people are pissed off because they made these people work really hard and go crazy to launch this new product

and to cover the launch. And these people had this grueling day of marathon iPhone coverage, and then they fired them. They also were geeking the fuck out. They're like, dude, we're at the Apple event. This is so cool. Let's take pictures and call it a job.

Yeah, there's always going to be a little of that, right? There's going to be a little of that. What I find interesting is the new payment plans that they're introducing with this new iPhone where you're pretty much not going to have a credit card anymore. You're not going to have your bank cards anymore. You're not going to have your bank cards anymore. You're just waving your phones and it's sending out a unique

number to the cash register. It's almost like how bitcoins are. It's interesting. Does it have to work where the people at the cash register have to have a device to pick it up? Is that what it is? Yeah. Do they have that already for Androids?

I don't know. but before the launch they uh they apple is working with all the biggest like credit card companies like you know chase and capital one and all that so a lot of big stores already have it um i know like um there is versions of it that's existed already like yeah i pay at starbucks i use my phone, but it scans it. This is inside the phone. I think it's called near frequency NFS or something like that where it sends out a signal. It's actually like a little local radio based. I wonder if it has a limit. Could you buy a car like that?

Could you go to a Ford dealership and pick up a Mustang? You'll have your credit card, your AMX American Express Black or whatever you have. Wow. You would have it on your phone. That would be dope as fuck to buy a car with your phone. Yeah, it's weird.

I don't even know why I want to buy a car with my phone, but I want to buy a car with my phone. That seems so ridiculous. So they're 4.7 inches and 5.5 inches is the new iPhone? Yeah. Congratulations.

You finally caught up, you fucking idiots. You should have done that a million years ago. Jesus Christ. They're fucking iPads. They've advanced the sync technology, which is nice, with that pass it off feature. Put that back up, Brian. Yeah.

I'm going to try to find a better... So the 4.7 inch... This is what? Four inches? Five S? Four inches? Yes. And I have a Samsung Galaxy S5, which is only, it's five inches.

Yeah. That's 5.5, I believe. That's fucking giant. That's as big as what I had. I used to have the Note, which was like 5.7, I think. Right. Yeah. Somewhere around then.

I think the Galaxy's 5.5 or 5.3. It's bigger than the new iPhone. I did a comparison the other day. The Galaxy's bigger? The Note or the Galaxy is 5.5 or 5.3. It's bigger than the new iPhone. I did a comparison yesterday. The Galaxy is bigger? The Note or the Galaxy S5? Well, the Galaxy is bigger than the regular iPhone 6. The iPhone 6 Extra Large or whatever the fuck it's called, the Deluxe, I think is either the same size as the Galaxy or a little bigger. Put that up again so I can see it.

Yeah, I'm trying to find better ones. is the Galaxy are a little bigger. Put that up again so I can see it. Yeah, I'm trying to... Find better ones. But I did a side-by-side with the regular new iPhone 6 and the Galaxy S5. Well, the good thing about the big one is that it's supposed to have two hours more battery life.

Yeah, the battery's way better for some reason on the new one. Motherfuckers, they always get you with the big one. Well, but, you know, they've been saying this for every fucking iPhone that comes out. They go, the battery's better now. And it's, no, it's not. It's never been better once. It is better.

The issue is that you have more need for juice because you have 4G, LTE, and 3G, and, you know, Wi-Fi and all that stuff. Things are more intensive, like programs, games. They just use more juice. So the batteries are better, but it depends on what you're using them for. But they never break it down like that. They always go, like this new one, they go, this new battery, 11 hours of video watching

time. It's like, yeah, no, that's what you said the last two phones. And it's never that. And then when you complain, they go, well, see, because you're Bluetooth. Fuck you! Fuck you, Apple! There's a lot of reasons one of the biggest reasons is if you don't have good service in your house and it's always searching for signals and stuff like that wi-fi and and all that stuff is the thing that drains you out because you'll have your wi-fi on your phone and then you'll go to chili's and so

the whole time it's like trying to search for wi-Fi. You don't even realize that it's just draining your battery. It's amazing what just simple like turning on airplane mode does to your, you know, or turning off Wi-Fi, turning off Bluetooth, turning off, you know. Yeah, some people turn off 4G, right? They just use 3G. That's dumb. What about your cunts? It's terrible. If you try to go online with 3G now, you're so spoiled.

Aubrey, my friend Aubrey has a Tesla. It's fucking dope. It's the most ridiculous car. Those crazy electric cars. And is this the phone? Yeah. He has a crazy electric car. And we're not showing that where we get pulled, are we?

No, no. This is just for us? Yeah. His Tesla, his car has a giant screen, man. This huge screen. It's like a laptop. Like a... Bigger than a laptop. It's like an iMac that's in the middle of the console.

And that's where everything is. It doesn't have any buttons. Everything is all touchscreen on this thing. And you talk to it. Like he could say, play Joe DeRosa comedy. And it'll go to Spotify. And it'll go, Spotify and it'll go why I'm gonna come over there and hug you

like we were in the car and he said come up with a say anything I go Arctic Monkeys so he goes play Arctic Monkeys he goes finds it on Spotify brings up a list of songs he presses play and starts playing an Arctic Monkeys song. But it's 3G.

And I was like, where's the 4G, bitch? You ain't got no 4G up in this motherfucker? That's no G. 3G is like, it's kind of slow. 3G is no G. Where's that? Here's the, it's talking about the new camera that's in the iPhone. But here's interesting, the new payment thing.

Check this out. With iPhone 6, we're introducing apple pay i don't think this pay thing is a great idea i think it's awesome and you can pay with your dick because if you use your thumb for thumb recognition you could use your dick for dick recognition it'll find a unique pattern on your skin of your cock and then you could buy things with your cock listen it's it's it's it's not hear me no i heard you i've been rubbing my dick on my phone for years no but i think bad about it i remember years ago burr goes uh he goes they're moving it all the

phone dude they're moving it all the fucking phone and then the second the government decides they want to shut you down boom you're done because it's all the truth phone and then the second the government decides they want to shut you down boom you're done because it's all and it's happening now i used to be like you're nuts what are you talking about and now it's finally happening it's like your life is on that fucking phone your life but you choose to put your life on that phone i mean there's a lot of things on that phone but you know if you want you can do whatever you want man you don't have to jump along you could be that guy that lives up in fucking big bear you got a cabin somewhere and you chop your own wood and you got a water well that you get all your water you could be that guy if you really wanted to you just have to move towards that you gotta jump along dude

jump along you gotta you said you don't have to jump along you gotta jump along do you want to watch look at the watch. No. This thing is fucking retarded. Can't take it? I think it's stupid. I think if it catches on like the iPhone did, everyone has it. It's going to make so much more sense because being able to just go to your wrist, be like, give me directions, talk to your wrist.

There's also this interesting technology in it that if you have a phone on, Joe, or if you have a wrist on and you're in my contacts, I can send you private messages just to your, like, hey, check out the chick going through the door right now. Or send you like a quick drawing of something. Only you would have to use it for creeping on people. It won't be suspicious at all as you're staring at your watch and your lips are moving. I like that it works with a winder thing. It doesn't have a touchscreen.

The winder thing is how they use it. That little thing is a handle. Yeah, the knob on the side is... It's going to be interesting, though, because it seems like that could cause also problems if you hit it and it sends a phone call. Starts fucking looking for directions to the moon directions on your wrist that are tiny it does it just doesn't seem convenient to me now that seems goofy but i like the um the heart rate

monitor thing oh is it's got different bands it's got three different models there's actually a gold one which is rumored to be maybe even over thousands of dollars. Oh, yeah. And they have a sport edition, which is like a rubber, like more. Show me the diamond encrusted one for rappers. Is there a diamond encrusted one for rappers? No. Not yet.

I'm going to get into that business tomorrow. Call my accountant. Put all the money in diamonds and watches. Yeah, I don't know, man. I just think it's it's just kind of pointless. Like, I love how they use an English guy to sell it. You know why? Because you can't use a guy from New York.

Check out this gold edition. Have developed to be up to twice as hard as standard gold. They developed to be up to twice as hard as standard gold. You can't have that. Nobody would trust them. You'd have to have some guy from another land. Well, maybe they're different in this other land called England.

I want to hear one of them sell this product. It sounds much more respectable. I see that knob breaking a lot. That's the next broken iPhone. You think so? This broken knob. Stop working? Yeah.

Could be. I mean, the one thing about Apple is they're pretty good about testing shit pretty rigorously before they release it i guess the biggest problem is seven but the biggest problem is is that the battery they're not happy with because right now supposedly it's rumored the battery lasts about a day and they want it you know days right and when they say a day does that mean a day with you using it right or a day with a regular normal person who has a job using it yeah no and they say a day on the iphones too and it's nowhere never fucking near it i'm gonna make the best point that anybody it's impossible

has made about this okay right now on this show okay here's why that's a dumb idea the new iphone has a significantly bigger screen for a fucking reason this is a completely tiny completely inconvenient screen who the fuck wants that everybody wants a device that's easier to use and i don't see how this is this is like when they did the ipod nano and they tried to put it on the screen and it was too fucking small. I'll tell you why. This is as easy as it is. You have your phone in your pocket. You're talking to somebody.

You have a little vibrate on your hand. You look down. Joe's calling me. Is it vibrating in your pocket? No, no. Or does it vibrate in your hand too? You could turn it on both if you want. What if a girl's giving you a handjob

and you feel your dick vibrate and then she starts looking at her wrist and she wants to stop? That would be annoying. You could tear on both if you want. What if a girl's giving you a handjob and you feel your dick vibrate and then she starts looking at her wrist and she wants to stop? That would be annoying. Somebody else is texting her, cock blocking you. I mean, this is what I'm talking about. Nobody thinks ahead. I'm thinking ahead. Are we out of time?

Yeah, we've got five minutes. Oh, okay. Joe DeRosa, this was fun. What was this, about six, seven hours? Three hours. We did three hours. Was it a full three? Yeah.

I had a great time. It was fun what was this about six seven hours three hours we did three hours was it a full three yeah this i had a great time it was fun man i felt like it was all different types of things were happening today yeah i hope we alleviated any anxiety that might have come up oh that's me dude that's all me that's not you i hope i hope it didn't escalate it every social interaction for me is vietnam i'm taking this home with me. This is going to be an all-night thing. Don't worry about it. Do a set tonight. Are you working while you're in town?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody's being very nice to me. Okay, cool. You know, the Death Squad guys have welcomed me with open arms, which I'm very appreciative for. Thank you, guys. Where can people find you this weekend? Are you in town? Are you working?

Tomorrow? I don't even know. I'm just doing spots around town this weekend. But if I'm going to plug something, I really would like to plug my new album, Mistakes Were Made, The B-Sides, on iTunes and Amazon. Ten bucks. When's that available? It's available now.

Okay. Beautiful. Double-length album of rarities from the last seven years. Oh, nice. And then my podcast, which you can get on my website or on iTunes. It's called Down with Joe DeRosa. I'd love to have more people come and listen. I talk about one topic for an hour, usually by myself.

Excellent. And all that stuff, I'll retweet that right now. I'm retweeting it right now. And the site is Jodorowsacomedy.com You can find all this stuff there. That's also his Twitter, Jodorowsacomedy. And thanks, brother.

That was fun, man. Thank you very much. Thank you. I had a blast. Thank you so much. And thanks to our sponsors. Shit, I don't have it in front of me right now. Hold on. Blue Apron, which is a service that they send you ingredients. Yeah, you don't have to. We just have to say what the thing is, where they have to go. Okay, here it is. Blueapron.com forward slash Rogan.

Get your first two meals for free. Go to blueapron.com forward slash Rogan. Thanks also to Dollar Shave Club. Go to dollarshaveclub.com slash rogan. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash rogan. And last but not least, we're brought to you by stamps.com. Go to stamps.com, click on the microphone in the upper right-hand corner, and use the code word JRE for your $110 bonus offer,

which includes a free digital scale and up to $55 of free postage. And last but not least, Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, a human optimization website. Use the code word ROGAN, save 10% off any and all supplements. All right, I'll be back tomorrow with Tim Burnett from Solo Hunters. And that's it. Much love. Big kiss. See you soon.

Ice House is sold out this weekend so you snoozed. There's a Thunder Pussy you can go to. Thunder Pussy's there as well. Friday night. See ya. Big kiss. Thank you.