The Joe Rogan Experience - #556 - Bryan Callen

Episode Date: September 30, 2014

Bryan Callen is an actor and stand-up comedian, and together with Brendan Schaub he also hosts "The Fighter & The Kid" podcast available on Spotify.

the Joe Rogan experience hey look it's the kid hey guys come on it's sure sure I look young he's even got a shirt on that says the kid whatever dude in case you were. I got tight-fitting skin. It's not my fault. I like how the fighter is in smaller font because he gets more letters. You guys based it on, like, what's an even trade. Did you weigh the ink? Yeah, we weighed the ink. We had to.

We had to weigh the ink. Because the fighter is nice and long, but The Kid is larger. Well, he designs all the t-shirts. I'm terrible with clothing. I'm not a big fashionista. You might want to look into someone who actually makes t-shirts, because that looks like a fucking junior high school kid did that shit with a paintbrush. That was the idea.

That looks like an art class that you didn't give a fuck about passing. I think that's Karate Kid font, though. That's what I'm talking about. Is it supposed to be like Kung Fu movie font? Yeah, sure. I'm not part of the least creative. I'm not part of the least creative i'm not part of the artistic department i love both you guys but that is one of the least creative t-shirts i've ever seen and i love that end thing that fighter the end the end that the little fucking weird thing that that

stands for end you know what is that what is that thing called? The and sign? Is that an ampersand? I thought ampersand was an A. Like with the A that's circled. No, that's... What is that? At? What is the actual...

Asterix. Asterix. No, asterix is the star, right? I tried to make t-shirts for Maya. Which one's ampersand? I don't know.-shirts for Maya. Well, which one's ampersand? I don't know. Hold on. Let's find out.

Ampersand. Ampersand end. Yeah. Okay. Jamie's totally correct. So, ampersand is the, that's the end. Like, fighter end. Strudel.

A-N-D. It's a weird little symbol. It just looks odd on yours. Do I have it on my t-shirt? Yes, you do. Where? Obviously, right there, man. Fighter and the kid. Fighter. And odd on yours. Do I have that on my t-shirt? Yes, you do, obviously. Right there, man.

Fighter and the kid. Fighter. And then that thing over the T, that thing. You just look at it. You need glasses, bro. I do not, just because you need glasses. Stop trying to get me in on your glasses bandwagon. You could read shit better.

The at sign's actually called a strudel in Israel. Okay, but we're not in Israel. What's it called in America? It's just an at sign. Just an at sign. At sign. A strudel in israel okay but we're not in israel what's it called in america just an at sign just an at sign a strudel yeah that's one of those ones that like didn't have any play for like hundreds of years yeah like what is this useless fucking thing stop trying to bring things back computer you would look at like before twitter and facebook and all that shit and like in the name meant nothing You fucking never used that thing on the keyboard, on the typewriter, that was a useless goddamn key. Like, who the hell needs that and thing?

I know. And you would ask, like, what is that? It's some shit you'll never use. Meanwhile, it's some shit everybody uses now. Everybody's fucking Twitter handle. I don't know how many Twitter people there are. Language changes. Are you a pound sign or a hashtag person?

Well, you really should say pound sign. Right. I mean, why does it get to be hashtag? It's the same goddamn hashtag it's the same goddamn thing yeah because it has a different connotation what was a pound sign's connotation uh that was just on your phone remember what did anybody use it for you would be you would punctuate to send them send a you know a message or something like a voicemail yeah press the pound sign that's all but they say the pound sign but then all of a sudden hashtag came along like what are you making corned beef you slinging slinging hash what kind of hash is this twitter is this weed hash why would you call it hashtag hashtag question mark what's the origin someone's going to send us a link on twitter i'm sure the origins of the word hashtag hashtag uh came from

twitter right yeah and then facebook adopted it i was talking to this i was talking to this linguist i was saying why do why do like southern accents for example in mississippi never go away why do like certain regions hold on to their accents and he said most of it has to do with the fact that you copy the person who's older the person you look up to if he has an accent that's the guy you're going to try to talk like so it gets passed down from generation to generation and doesn't really get diluted because they just stand out more human beings are tribal and so what they do is you if you grew up around your dad or your older brother or somebody you look up to who speaks a certain way without even realizing it you start taking on their language you speak exactly the way do same intonation and everything and so what happens is

that accent in louisiana will always stay that accent in louisiana it's really interesting but then that can that can start to sort of change as as people migrate what if a bunch of bad motherfuckers bunch of badass big dick south africans came in and just fucked everybody in that town dominated came in with billions of dollars of cash it'll be interesting if there was a way where you could restructure an accent just a few dominant alpha chimpanzee males yeah with a strange accent yeah you know strange south african accent like if there was a way like some bad motherfuckers could move into an area well if everybody would want to be like them so much they would start talking like south africa if you go to barcelona to Barcelona in Spain, they talk with a lisp.

Barcelona, Barcelona they do. Really? And they say that is because the king had a lisp a long time ago, and everybody started to copy that sort of, you know, that colloquialism or whatever the word is. Well, it is kind of weird that lisp is considered to be odd. The one strange sound that you make, but roaring the ars is considered to be flamboyant and beautiful like if you say someone you speak the queen's english of course no but

we have like that we have like categories where we'll put like this is a sound that you should make and this is a sound where it's fucked up it's i don't like it and it's all based on our control see the lisp the issue with the lisp is some people cannot control the fact that they make that sound. So they're not trying to lisp. It's very difficult for them to not lisp. Yep. But so because of that, that sound becomes inappropriate. Yeah, maybe it's because when you have a lisp, it's already, quote unquote, a defect.

So it's considered a weakness. Yes. So that would be something that is... Well, it's just because you can't control it. That's why it's considered a weakness yes so that would be something that is well just because you can't control it that's why it's a weakness if he rolls his hours on purpose then it sounds cool he's antonio banderas yeah but if you roll your arms because you can't stop like your arms are slippery conor mcgregor but keep conor mcgregor he's got a little bit of his own i like to whip us but that's a different thing an irish thing that's right but yeah the r's are slippery right yeah do you know what i'm saying yes what if like what if without was a disease you know instead of a lisp right you know it always got a rosp oh the

poor bastard well you can't help it speech impediments stutters are neurological stutter stuff yeah that's a neurological thing there was a kid that uh i used to be friends with and his brother had stutter poor poor bastard he just fucking just would lock up man and he would lock up in front of you and you'd want to like help him through it yes yes and you have to act like nothing my that something about stutters endear me to the person like i want to protect them yeah we had a guy in my taekwondo school who would sometimes we'd line up and he'd have to say chariot kunye to like now and he could he had such a bad stutter so we all be sitting there and he goes chariot

and we have to wait sometimes for 40 seconds wow but of course we all did and something about a stutter has always made me feel protective over the person if you're stuttering all the time you'll be getting kicked in the head that's that's a good question you got a lot of you got shit going on there already yeah some bad connections maybe you could rattle it loose like you hear about those stories where like a kid gets in a car accident and all of a sudden they could play music yeah well there's a robert sax did a thing about this guy who got struck by lightning his regular dude got struck by lightning and became obsessed with music especially the piano and just didn't literally did nothing but play 12 hours a day and and think piano and and and he was convinced it was a sign from god so

robert sack said well you know it may be a sign from god but is there any way i can study your brain and he said no no uh this is God and I'm not interested in the scientific. And it was just such a bummer for him. He was like, what the fuck happened? What happened that you got struck by lightning and you became obsessed with the piano where he literally played all day? I think he's probably scared that if you find something that's wrong, that they might like fix it.

Well, I go back to being normal well it's very strange to me also because what they find with people who like when they say something like um you got to follow your passion man problem with that is that you got to broaden your passion because sometimes your passion can be just what you know and a lot of people consider their passion what they're just good at already or they they came at it with this the right you know emotional state so it was easier for them to learn but some passions you have to work at really hard before you get good at them like math or for that matter even like boxing you know or something like that but so right but why would you think that he would want to not have his brain

examined oh i think that was a religious superstitious thing i think that he kind of felt he it would go away if somebody did something to his brain is that what you think i do yeah that's that's what sack said i mean in effect you know i would wonder if he would be afraid that it was purely psychological like this is my i think there's a lot of people who say they believe in god and they'll talk about the fact they believe in God but I don't know if they believe 100%. I think they might believe like 80%. And that 20% haunts them. They don't want to address that 20%. And when something like this happens

where there's a tangible effect of a physical act and you attribute it to God, if someone comes along and says, no, you're Abdullah, Mangala, whatever, got fried, you don't have that part of your brain anymore. And that part of your brain dictates social skills. Like, if you're having a hard time talking to people, yeah, well, you lost that. That part's not there anymore.

So you're basing, you know, all your attention is now going to music. And if you found out that instead of, like, God gave you a gift, that would fuck with your head. That's right. Well, a lot of, they say that people who, the fundamentalists, people who are, you know, they believe and they're willing to die for their beliefs. There's always a great deal of doubt, way more doubt with those people. How much fucking mental illness is there in this world? You know, it's something no one wants to bring up.

No one wants to bring up like how much of believing in unbelievably ludicrous shit is a type of a mental illness the first question though also is this i mean if you say i believe in god i actually think a better question initially is what is god first of all how do you define god yeah i mean is god what they thought he was when they were riding on animal skins or can we define god as there's there's obviously a better look there's there's a way that feels good in this there's there's a way that feels good in this world and there's a way that feels bad in this world what feels bad tragedy disease injury pain suffering violence crime stealing taking advantage of robbing that oh did you hear what that fuck did oh this guy got fucked over oh this guy got guy got beat up. Look at this video.

Fuck, this guy got this. That's obviously the worst way to go. I mean, we feel that, right? But positive is like you see friendship and you see happy kids playing and you see people smiling because they enjoy their job. Self-sacrifice. You see barbecues. You see prosperity and friendship and kinship.

You see all this good stuff. And so, obviously, if you just live your life more towards the good stuff, the most you can, that's like a godly life. The Greeks called it the rational life, right? That's what they called it. Is that what they called it? Yeah, like in other words you as long as you stay within what would be considered the rational So so if you but it's not right that was what Roman law was kind of predicated on right? So if you park your chariot in an area where they do in Carthage and you get a ticket and you go to the judge

And you say hey Roman judge in Carthage. We park our chariots way. And the Roman judge goes, okay, well, in Rome we do it this way, so try to do it that way. But this way you delineate the law. Then a man comes along, snatches a baby out of a woman's arm and kidnaps it or kills it or something. And all of us go, and he goes, well, no, we do that in Carthage. Well, what Roman law would say is, we don't, well, whether you do that in Carthage or not doesn't matter because this is outside the bounds of rationality. This is outside the bounds of nature.

This is an unnatural act. How could the Romans do that? Cicero. Cicero was the father of Roman law. Sword fighting people and fucking each other in the ass. Because they also had a massive empire that had to be run according to a set of principles. You had to have something. Right. That does make sense but everybody's idea of what that is depends entirely upon what

happened to them when they were young it's what you're exposed to when you're really young if you find out about the vast majority of people that commit like horrific acts like a good chunk of them had some serious trauma when they were young whether it was someone sexually molested them or someone abused them there was a lot of abuse there's something wrong a moment the only there's a few of them that people can't figure out like you know who's a big one that they have a hard time figure out jeffrey dahmer yeah well that dahmer apparently had like normal parents that that sociopath gene that there's been so much research recently written on this in fact uh barbara oakley wrote a book called the evil genes and and they really parents and shit that that sociopath gene that there's been so much research recently written

on this in fact uh barbara oakley wrote a book called the evil genes and and they really looked at at how different serial killer brains and they think that there is for sure something that goes on genetically with sociopaths like john wingacy and those kind of people they actually in many cases you can actually tell they have a different brain than do regular people. And there's a lot of science now about that. But that's the extreme, right? It completely makes sense.

I mean, if you look at every body type there is, look at all the different flaws that people just are born with. Like me. I have vitiligos. I have spots where I don't grow any pigment around my knuckles. And bigger hands than Brendan Schaub.

Keep going. Yeah, I'm very unevolved. Giant hands. I've got a lot of issues. But that's probably not bad. I've got a lot of issues. That's probably not bad. That's just, you gave me freaky bones.

Right. But the bad stuff is very minimal. You look at some bad stuff that people have. Like, we know people that are dead. We know people that had cancer and died. We know people that are born with know people that had cancer and died we know people that are born with like degenerative uh arthritis you know um sean rouse and that poor bastard i mean that poor bastard is always in pain and he's a fucking funny dude man rouse is funny as shit he's really good and he the kid's always in pain every time you shake his hands it's like you

know you just want to be as gentle as you can just you know got rheumatoid oh it's bad dude it's bad it's an auto he just got new knees though yeah he had to get his knees replaced man fuck he's in his 30s yeah dude he's you know he just the the genetic roll the dice it just he got fucked and so my point that there's so much variation. And you see people with dwarfism. You've seen people with gigantism. There's variation everywhere. It just would only make sense that there be variation in the structure of the actual brain itself.

Some people are born with weak eyesight. Their eyesight sucks right out of the gate. The brain is a physical body. I mean, there's no reason to believe that, you know, first of all, evolutionary biologists have come to the conclusion that our brains are different. I mean, you're not born a blank slate. Here's the big question. Here's the really big question. This is the one for everyone.

This is a hard one. the one for everywhere this is a hard one as medical science reaches a certain point where they understand the components of the brain far more clearly than they do now because like you know one of the themes that we've had on the show the last few days um i had this guy thaddeus russell on and um he was he was talking about how just like a hundred years or so ago the way people would look at certain races was radically different than the way they look at them now like in medical journals and shit the way they would describe irish was that they were like basically like apes and they would do this in like harvard i mean it was a really fascinating conversation we know now that's ridiculous

right we know now that there's brilliant people from every single race and it's the big part of it is what are you exposed to you know what kind of genetics are you dealing with and you know what kind of curiosity do you have in your family what how do you develop what what makes a nurtured versus your nature yeah what makes a sprinter does that disqualify him from being a brilliant thinker no it doesn't you know those ideas are there those ideas are in the past. But if there was a way where they could examine your brain and go, well, this guy has no empathy. This guy completely lacks empathy. And he gets an enjoyment out of torturing animals. If you could find something like that.

They're already doing that. And, in fact, what they found is a lot of serial killers have underdeveloped amygdalas. So that almond shape, that part of the brain, I believe, that floods with serotonin, etc. And a lot of them have smaller than normal or they're damaged. And it's hard for, like one of the things that they talk about, serial killers a lot of times, is for them to feel is sometimes close to impossible. They've got to go to extremes.

But sexual sadism and all that stuff is that what they call um what this guy the great famous profiler richard walter calls uh a a power excitement so people who get off on the some people will kill you over power they want to kill you but but when somebody's been torturing somebody they they get off on the act of killing not the killing the act of killing and that's those kinds of somebody they they get off on the act of killing not the killing the act of killing and that's those kinds of people have they think have different brains they just get off on the power and they're not feeling any remorse they get sexual pleasure from putting people in terrible pain do you now here's the question if they can spot that i mean how weird does the world

get why are you going to let that guy live? Like, we would all have to look at them like, it's no different, in my opinion, than having a vampire that lives in your neighborhood. If you had a vampire in your neighborhood and the vampire was constantly compelled to feed on human blood, how long would it take before everybody rallied the troops and stuck a fucking stake in that vampire's heart? It would take a day. That's a very good question the first day now if you found a way to absolutely identify a serial killer like this guy is a fucking serial killer this guy's just die this is what's important to him this is what he doesn't give a fuck about this guy loves killing he loves torturing get rid of him give a fuck yeah you'd have to kill him it'd be like having a vampire right i mean wouldn't it be the same thing or it'd be another thing how about

this by the same token what you what you would have to say about somebody like that is they have brain damage their brains are damaged they are not working like an irrational human being so you want to fix it no well either you fix it or you categorically look at it the same way you would look at any kind of a birth defect or a handicap. What that means then is, what does that say about punitive punishment? Do you punish them or do you put them in a hospital and keep them in a padded room? That's the other question. Well, what kind of a life is that? I don't know, but whatever you do, let's just say that we we can prove their brains are different this is a physiological thing they had no control over but at the end

of the day they have urges they have no control over say the way somebody who gambles really badly now what now now yes they're killers they're horrible we want them dead frankly it's a sick dog well it's a human being so what do we do then what what does that say about punitive punishment do you punish them or do you put them in a hospital? You put them in a room with a very sensible John Wayne-like character who's going to say, why don't you guys step outside? And you hear, bang! He went for my gun.

And then you go home. That's what happens. I would agree. I say experiment. You can't write a law like that, though. Experiment on them is not a bad idea. Fuck using monkeys. Use humans.

Yeah, but you can't write a law like that because it's not consistent. It's inconsistent with... How about this? Every time you experiment on them, you let him kill an asshole. Yeah, kill another one. Not a bad idea. You take a child molester, and every time the serial killer, you try some new birth control on them or something, every time you let them kill a child molester yeah well richard richard walter that fbi profiler was the guy who

came up with a double helix whatever he called it of how a serial killer he interviewed 20 000 murderers or something like that and and what's really fascinating to to hear him talk about how serial killers come to be so how they start and they start in really weird ways usually it starts with some kind of fetishism like like rubbing up somebody against somebody in a in a in a bus stop or they call it piqueurism sometimes they'll find like when a cop hears about somebody who cut up a bunch of leather uh jackets in a store they'll go, hold on, we want to come in there and look at something. Because what Richard Walter would say, it says a lot of them who were into just cutting

people, a lot of them started by going into department stores and doing terrible damage to all the fine leather by cutting with a very sharp scalpel. And they got off on the fact that first they could get caught it's very expensive they'd be in big trouble but also they it's the feeling of skin so so then what happens with serial killers they said is that you keep going and you keep needing a bigger and bigger fix and you never go back from that like that you never are able to reverse the perversion so once they have So once they up the ante and up the ante until finally they kill, they're never going back. Never.

That urge continues to come back more and more. That's what Ted Bundy would talk about. Well, one of the most terrifying ones was the Zodiac Killer. Because he was obviously super smart. He would write things in code. He would leave them messages to crack. He would also write letters to the victims parent families Yeah, and he never got caught. No, he never got caught. They don't know who that guy was. There's all these different fucking speculations

None of them, you know seem to be a hundred percent They have some idea like, you know, people said that was my dad people said I know the guy They but the whoever the guy was he had to be that I know the guy. But whoever the guy was, he had to be above average intelligence. Very, very smart. Which is fucking terrifying that someone could be very, very smart

and just want to kill people. And they're out there. I look at it as like, what is that book? Do you ever read The Demonic Male? About chimps. Actually, apes and how human beings are bipolar apes capable of incredible kindness and incredible cruelty and maybe and if you look at apes they'll

do that like chimps will fucking kill each other and bite each other but then they're incredibly caring of the young sometimes and we're a bipolar ape you know um but but that that could have a genetic uh usefulness apparently like the variation in genes one extreme to the other one extreme being i don't know mother theresa the other extreme being jeffrey dahmer and we all kind of live somewhere in the middle but geneticists will tell you that you need both extremes you know to create the mean it's pretty fucking you know you start getting into the science you're like god damn it when you start thinking about that if you if you think about needing both sides like is that exist everywhere in the universe is there a hot and a cold is there is there always an evil and a good good it doesn't does the evil make the good better does it make it feel better i mean is

that a part of the whole thing i think it would have to right you know it's like we were talking about um people who were born in with rory yesterday rory albany's hilarious guy we're talking about people born into money and that when people are born into money they're never happy they just can't they can't do because everything's always been handed to them they if they don't earn it if you don't feel that struggle of being broke like i think you and i appreciate everything we we've earned because when you were young you can clearly remember that you know you were fucking trying to pay your bills and doing odd jobs and there was always longing you know what kind of jobs did you do you worked in a bank for a while i worked in mcdonald's i worked construction uh for a summer in in dc in the

middle of the summer your story about working in a bank was so oh god so on because i 16 months dude waking up when it was still dark put on nylon socks i i literally i thought i was gonna die i i started to become i started to dislike myself i was i was being i became i wasn't even interested in what i was eating anymore dude i became a bad person but that's how you got out of it. Because your soul, whatever it was, was trying to tell you. I woke up from a nap and I panicked. I said, I have to be an actor.

I ran into my friend's room. I go, okay, dude, I'm quitting everything. And that's what happened. I had a dream. You know, I'll tell you an amazing study. You had a dream. I'll tell you an amazing study on your point. In the 1930s, they did this five- year study on Boston school children and they took

do you know the story? No, but I'll tell you right now that 80% of them are twats No Those kids get off me you little fuck Dicks and twats But it's a really famous study that had far reaching implications which was they took

two large groups and for five years they gave one group a great deal of support. Money, psychological help, tutoring, coaches, and the other group they left completely alone. They came back 30 years later and looked at both groups, and the group that had five years of that kind of special attention was far worse and had much higher levels of alcohol abuse than the other because the other group had to rely on this become self-reliant yeah and that required all the other things now you have to be careful because sometimes you can damage somebody but certainly self-reliance and

and not learning helplessness but learning the opposite so fucking important well it's it's there right in front of our eyes we just want to ignore ignore it. Like what you just said, you have to be careful with the stress because you could damage somebody. Well, that's like analogous to working out. Like, yeah, you could hurt yourself working out. But if your idea is to just stay a piece of veal in a room that's padded so that your body doesn't ever move and get injured or get strong as shit so that, you know, you could do a lot of things with your body. Yeah. Would you rather not be in pain all the time and not feel your body deteriorating? Right.

I don't mean sore from working out. I mean when you have nothing. You have no muscle. Everything is just mush and goo, and slowly gravity starts pulling you towards the bottom. Well, that's what happens if you don't ever risk exercising the same thing with your brain you build neural pathways in your brain you can literally build them yeah i would think that with everything in this world

you you can either resist and then grow stronger because of resisting or never resist and have this like apathetic way of approaching whatever the fuck it is you're doing. Right. Like everything you do. Everything you do is hard to do. Everybody's like, oh, you know what's really hard? Making watches. You know what's really hard?

Everything that's done well. That's right. That's what's really hard. That's so true. Everything that's done well. That's so true. That's why that fucking Jiro Dreams of Sushi movie is so fucking interesting. Amazing.

Because who gives a fuck? The guy's just making sushi. Like I wouldn't... And his parents didn't like him. So he tried to get me to watch that. His parents didn't like him, remember? Yeah. He said, my parents didn't like me.

Yeah. That's what drives him. He looked like he was going to cry when he was 90. What was that expression that they used? What's that expression they used where a guy who's just a complete master at something... I forget what the expression was. Maestro? No, no, no.

It was a japanese expression that they were using to describe how this guy who had worked so meticulously on creating this egg dish he remember he was making that egg dish for like a year and he just couldn't get it right and one day the guy you know said you got it right and then gave him this japanese see if you can find it whatever the fuck it is yeah from the movie jiro dreams of sushi see if you can find it was one of his it was one of his apprentices who just kept having the for kept throwing the custard away yeah well you finally got it right they have this weird egg dish that they make and it has to be perfect it's like i'm not sure how they're doing it but eventually or eventually after a year this guy got it right

and he was so happy he said he cried shokunin shokunin yeah shokunin what is it what is the definition is it like a wikipedia definitionN. Okay. Shokunin. Shokunin. The Japanese word shokunin. Okay. Did that guy either? Literally translated, artists and craftsmen who feel deep obligation. It's why I don't like political correctness.

Because I think it's a lie. I think we live in a culture that is always telling you you have to feel good. And I think anything worth it, anything worth it, it takes exactly what you're talking about. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to feel good. I think the real issue with political correctness

is that it avoids intent and it ignores the complex subtleties of human communication. It ignores the reality that one person can say something. How about this? You can say something one time, and it's offensive. And you can say the same thing when you're in a better mood,

in a better situation, and it's hilarious. You could be in the wrong state of mind when you say it, or you could say it clumsily and people don't accept it. You could say it after something that people might think it's insensitive if you said it they're not willing to go along on the ride with you or you could say that same thing in front of the same people in a different circumstance and they get how laughing and think you're the funniest guy ever i can't believe you said that oh my god he's so crazy the it political correctness in applies as you apply it to humor. The big issue, the number one issue is that humor is almost always about something you didn't expect or something you can relate to.

And both of those things, something you can relate to, you're telling me you can't relate to racist stuff? Look, there's a certain amount of racist stuff that's fucking hilarious, including racist stuff against white people. When Richard Pryor used to do that, you know, oh, your mama, motherfucker. My mom, she's a great old gal. That is a racist joke. That's making fun of white people that are goofy.

You can't even, oh, your mama, motherfucker. You can't even say that to them at work. I mean, that's racist. Is it or is it racial? Is it only racist if a white person does it only racist if a white person does it? And racial if a black person does it? I mean, what is it? It's a type of humor.

Yeah. Well, there's, I guess, the difference between racism and bigotry. Bigotry is an individual thing, right? So I'm bigoted. You can be bigoted against fat people or whatever. Whereas racism, just the definition, applies to the institution of racism. So that's why it was always used more sensibly to black people in this country, at least. Racism, just the definition, applies to the institution of racism. So that's why it was always used more sensibly to black people in this country, at least,

because when you live in a racist society, the institutions themselves are stacked against you because they are racist. Well, that's why you can't have a white pride shirt, but you can have a brown pride shirt if you're Mexican, or Cain Velasquez with his tattoo that's right like roy nelson joked around like he fought cain velasquez and had a white pride tattoo on his chest like the brown pride on cain's chest what would anybody be able to do i mean there's something to that right yeah but there's not because of course no one owned white people there wasn't a bunch of white people that were kidnapped over in iceland and thrown onto a fucking slave ship and dragged over to america your text was so funny about i don't know if i can even say it but when i was like they're honoring women in film

can i say it yeah you're like you're like women in film haven't women always been in film then you go what if they had what if they honored white men in film i wonder what would happen then what kind of an uproar that would be if you had they honored white men in film? I wonder what would happen then. I wonder what kind of an uproar that would be. If you had a thing honoring men in film, especially white men. Because you could do black men. Right. Black men in film. That would be like a real black tie affair.

You would go there and dress in your best, put on your shiniest shoes. But what I said was, you said it's women in film. Aren't women in every movie? Right. They're basically in every movie crack me how many movies don't have women well they all it's very rare haven't they always been in movies always and forever i was like yeah they have i mean yeah they've done some awesome shit i don't have a problem this is my issue i don't have a problem with them honoring women in film at all

I have no problem I point out like what if they want to do white men in film because I know that there would be a massive outrage

I accept the fact that people want to honor only women in film I accept the fact that I bet for women it's pretty fucking frustrating sometimes because I bet a lot of movies that women go to are just not geared for women.

Right. You know, there's a lot of movies like if you go and see, you know. Transformers. Well, that's probably geared towards anybody. They probably cut that bitch right down the middle with stats and graphs and they probably did phone calls and fucking brought in people to analyze it. They probably cut that bitch right down the middle with stats and graphs. They probably did phone calls and fucking brought in people to analyze it. They probably cut that bitch right down the middle, men and women. They probably give you just enough mushy bullshit so that women go goo-goo for it. But my girlfriend would say, ugh, if I go, hey, let's watch Transformers.

That would be her reaction. Well, that was your girlfriend. She's smart. What they were honoring was the fact that it's – Okay, like the Deer Hunter. Like here's a movie, the Deer Hunter. It's a fucked up movie, man. Chicks don't want to see a movie where it's,

Mao! Go to Mao! Mao! And they got the fucking gun by the head, and you know he's eventually going to shoot himself, and they're playing Russian roulette. I became an actor because of that scene, but keep going. It's a fucking amazing movie.

If you've never seen The Deer Hunter, it's one of those movies from the 70s. What is it, like 71 or something like that? It won Best Picture in 1978, I believe. Was it that late? Yeah. Oh, wow. Why did I think it was way... Either picture in 1978 was it that late yeah oh wow why did i think it was way either way it's from an era where a lot of the movies don't hold up

yeah those 70s movies man some of them are tough to watch not the fucking deer hunter holy shit that's a good movie that was so beyond anything at the time that scene shocking when he shoots himself in the head and grabs him no oh man it's heartbreaking christ i when i saw that i was at an age where i just first of all i took movies seriously and second of all i never got over that i was just like i don't know what that is that movie was incredible that was robert de niro when he was a mother the greatest the greatest at that point and christopher walken when he was a motherfucker i mean he's still a motherfucker yeah christopher walken you give him a good role he's still a motherfucker. Yeah. Christopher Walken, you give him a good role, he's still a motherfucker.

He still carries this creepy power to him. I watched the awesome scene from Pulp Fiction. No, True Romance. True Romance. Yeah, that's the great scene. That's the greatest scene. I didn't really like the scene in Pulp Fiction. Oh, I did.

I was like, I get it. The watch was up your ass. Oh, I loved it. I didn't buy it for some reason. I love the movie, but I'm like, that scene is like, come on,

get out of here with this watch. I know, I get it. It's up your ass. You know, I don't know. For whatever reason, it didn't work for me. But him and True Romance. Oh, you know who I am, Mr. Wally?

I'm the Antichrist. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. We're going to do a little Q&A. At the risk of sounding redundant try to make your answers genuine it was so it's just it was so creepy when he did it too because it's it's the the words like the tone like it's a very originally christopher walken type of delivery i'd never i couldn't believe that scene i was like what i said we're doing a little

pantomime is the pantomime guy gives himself 17 whatever it is 17 different movements a girl's 21 but anyway he just goes through this whole weird it's like he did that pool hustlers movie pool hall junkies people try to tell me that was good oh god i didn't see it oh god it's awful and there's this scene the lion in the jungle it's not a good scene and everybody told me it's like this he gives this great speech and I go that movie is dog shit

yeah people still recommend it like that movie was awesome King of New York was great too and he gives this speech he was amazing in that the problem with that

pool hall movie is no one could really play pool they're all like whacking balls around and shit like they're not really playing pool you can't have a movie where you don't even teach

the guy how to play pool it's gotta look at least a little bit like you can actually play pool. Yeah. This is offensive. And it's just like, come on, this is like,

it's so goofy. The guy who doesn't want to get the job, it's like. Why do you like pool so much? I have no idea. Yeah. I learned it at a formative age. You know,

learned it when, when I was, it helped me transfer a lot of focus and energy that I probably would have put into bad places. Yeah. Man, you're good. You ran a table, I think, three times. Me and Chabra were like, just ran a table three times.

I play a lot. I got this table right here. It's a stupid thing to get good at. I totally freely admit it. People go, yeah, you mock golf, but you play pool. Dude, I mock everything. I mock my own family. Don't play golf. Don't play golf. I. Dude, I mock everything. I mock my own family. Don't play golf, because you'll get... Yeah, don't play golf.

I mock everybody. I mock myself. I mock you. I mock me. I mock golf. I mock every fucking thing there is. I mock pink ribbons for breast cancer and walking for AIDS. I mock it all.

Everything's mockable. Birds. Birds can suck my dick. Every one of them. I mock birds. They insult me with their freedoms I'm down with mocking birds

get it come on man yeah I mean I think the more I can laugh the better and I find the happier I am

like I was listening to Jim Norton on the radio today on the Opie and Anthony show he's telling a story him and Jim Florentine about how Jim Norton was jerking off

in the backseat of his car while they were driving home from a gig. No. No. He had met a girl and he was so excited. It was so funny. I was fucking crying laughing. Why? Because he had met her and he wanted to jerk off before he got together with her or what?

No, no. He met her and it didn't work out. He hooked up with her. Maybe she touched him or something like that and then he had to go and he was so fired up that he had to jerk off so he jerked off in the car in the back seat and they were telling this story it was fucking hilarious and they were telling the story how they're busting each other's balls and it was it was genuinely enjoyable for both them and for me it's like it's fun listen but people don't you know there's some people that just don't can't handle it i want to be laughing or learning. Everything else in the middle is like, boring.

I guess I'll eat and sleep, but overall... People have a problem with being stupid. I love being stupid. But they have a problem with it, you know what I mean? People don't like being mocked because a lot of times when they're being mocked, there's no humor to it. Or if there is a humor, it's a very mean humor. Like there's some humor that's just not funny.

But it goes back to that same thing about politically correct. we laugh at it you know every academic i have on my podcast you know i love having all the academics every single one of them every single one of them says basically says to me what kills me is how politically correct i have to be in my classroom yeah i'm not if i'm not i could get in huge trouble so if you're a harvard yale faculty you better be speaking for everyone including polypenesian tribes and you know i mean it doesn't matter man if you say anything if you even say it's just unbelievable man and and that's the number one complaint i hear from right okay but here's the big question this is sort of the question that i had with uh thaddeus russell and we talked about it yesterday with rory too is is this a sign of some sort of the question that I had with Thaddeus Russell, and we talked about it yesterday with Rory, too.

Is this a sign of some sort of social progress that we're, like, springing back so far the other way that it's just, it's rebounding, like, some of the lost ground that was given up when they had things like separate fucking fountains for men, when women could get raped and no one would do anything about it. When cops would literally ask someone, what were you wearing when you got raped? I mean, all the different things that have happened, all the different times that people have been homophobic or, you know, outwardly sexist, both from towards men and towards women. women that the bigger the reaction that like is happening now like this this big blowback this big politically correct left-wing progressive push that maybe it's just like the waves of the ocean like we were talking about earlier the yin and the yang that you need the evil to have the good and sometimes you need the good to just blow the fuck up so even the evil is like okay i think i think the answer is yes that the wave is is pushing in the other direction however it's a good direction it's a good direction however you got to make sure it doesn't it doesn't doesn't get too crazy it doesn't become its own form of tyranny and it doesn't get in the

way of the truth also you have to realize that some people they use an ideology to get out their aggression and they can choose to decide that it's relevant or justified and in doing so what they are is stressed out fucked up people who have a lot of tension in their lives and they have a cause and they find a cause that they agree with that makes intellectual sense and then is supported by other people and then they aggressively pursue that cause the point of calling people out and being nasty and vicious what are they really doing though i'll tell you what they're really doing they're using a cause to be an asshole why because they're assholes well they're assholes that support a good idea and they're doing it totally the wrong way.

And in doing so the wrong way and being super aggressive and asshole-ish, what you're doing is you're strengthening up the resistance to that. So if you're asshole-ish like in a right-wing sort of a way, you're going to make a bunch of asshole left-wing people that are forced to deal with your bullshit. Right. But consequently, if you're asshole-h from a left-wing point of view and you want everything politically correct and it's not it's not freshmen it's fresh people i mean you're you're dealing with that kind of shit which is stupid nonsense i'll give you an amazing example of this i mean and it became a fierce fierce debate when when uh you're right no no

fucking terrible the sally swing, for heaven's sake. You spilled his coffee everywhere. I didn't spill it everywhere. Towel. I actually kept the coffee in my hand. There it is. Not bad. Not bad.

But it was, uh, my Sally swing chair, which I love, is, uh, on some serious rollers. Very good. I got it. It was very little coffee. But this is, this is a classic example of one of the biggest debates intellectual debates period which was the when it used to be that everybody would talk about human beings and it was a it was sort of married to a marxist ideology the idea that human beings start at zero we are all a blank slate so every child is what is a blank slate and whatever you socially put on it will actually be.

So who says boys should play with guns? They should also be given dolls and we'll make the world a better place and men won't be as aggressive and aggression is learned. It is an inherent and innate. That was the dogma. And then a bunch of evolutionary scientists started doing a lot of work, like Steven Pinker. And Steven Pinker wrote a book called The Blank Slate, and a large part of the book chronicles when the evolutionary biologists

who studied, for example, the, what are the names, the Yanomano, that take up hundreds of, tens of thousands of miles in the Amazon basin, the men that had killed more in battle sired more children, had more wives. And when that anthropologist came back with that and said i'm studying indigenous cultures here where aggression not only is seems to be natural because not exposed to the western ideas of what what aggression is but they fight all the time they they had a lot of tribal warfare it also when they come back to their tribes it also seems to be that they are more attractive to females well when he came back and said that the the people that had held the blank

slate theory went crazy and attacked all those guys attacked that guy and a number of other people uh they attacked them personally called them liars they're fudging their data and everything else of course now we know with stephen Pinker's work and these guys, and almost all evolutionary biologists agree, that you are born, people are born, like we were talking about, with different proclivities, but human beings, pretty much every culture we've ever studied, they fight. Aggression is human.

But here's the deal. It's malleable. Human beings are malleable. Yes, they have very ideal they have tendencies that tend to be exhibited in their their relatives and especially in their family and we've known that with dogs forever the fact that we think that it doesn't exist in humans when it exists so clearly in dogs like joe the guy i bought johnny from the mastiff yeah he won't breed a dog if it's aggressive to people

He won't let it breed. He'll fix him He'll fix the male and if it's a female who'll get her fixed too And he just if anyone that said that they exhibit any aggression towards people done any aggression towards dogs Not interested Wow not interested won't let him breed so because you've met my dog. Yeah, he's the sweetest dog ever He's so nice. He's just so gentle. My four-year-old will play with him, and he's a fucking big dog. But I never worry about him.

He's super chill. But then you say human beings have had to scratch and crawl, fight and hunt just for existence. You don't think that aggression is going to be an evolutionary necessity? It is. Well, how about dogs? How about the dog that you used to have? Game bread. Exactly. That crazy dog that like a fucking dozen goats yeah two goats a baby cow and broke the legs of a shepherd and what

what was up with that dog well that dog was being bred for fighting that dog was a whirlwind that dog couldn't wait to get its teeth on something that's what it lived for it was hypercharged it was like it was on 10 all the time i loved that dog i'd go over here and it was a little dog too that's what people don't realize about pit bulls skinny beagle the real pit bulls that they used to fight them where they you know apparently still do in parts of the country they're like 35 pounds yeah that's a big one yeah they're small dogs the big ones get tired, apparently. Yeah. Like, those big dogs, it's just like UFC fighters. Like, see those big dogs that are like those super monster pit bulls? They would never fight those.

They fight the little ones. Except for Tim Kennedy. He seems never to get tired. Tim Kennedy seems to just grind you down. He's a fucking tough prick. Ugh. He's a tough prick. What did you think about that?

I'm sorry to jump over now. No, it's okay. Yeah, for folks who don't know what we're talking about uh yoel romero who is this stud wrestler from cuba two-time world champion yeah he's won he said he won a medal in every single wrestling tournament he entered pretty much i mean he medaled he was a silver medalist in the olympics he medaled in the world cup i mean, he medaled. He was a silver medalist in the Olympics. He medaled in the World Cup. I mean, he's a fucking freak wrestler. Kale Sanderson was one of the greatest amateur wrestlers of all time.

Yoel Romero beat him twice. Twice. Twice. I mean, he is that much of a freak when you see him in the octagon. I almost wish, because he's only 37 years old. I almost wish we got him

when he was 27. God. I mean, God, 10 years of that guy in MMA. But it was hard for him to get over from Cuba to America. But he fought this guy, Tim Kennedy, and for the first round, he was beating that ass. He was beating Tim Kennedy's ass. It was just speed, and it was connection.

Every time he would hit Kennedy, but Kennedy's so fucking tough. Kennedy's so fucking tough. So tough. His strategy was just to make this guy work, to stay there, hang in there. Gas him, gas him. Gas him out, and so he starts attacking in the second round. And you see Romero breaking. You see him slowly start to get exhausted, and Kennedy is just working him.

Constantly working him, constantly making him breathe. And then the end of the round, he cracks him. But if you didn't see the controversy on Kennedy's side, there's a video of Kennedy holding Romeroero's glove pull this video up what kennedy holds romero's glove oh boy but it's put it's like there's an animated gif that probably would show it just as good it's hard to look at and be um be like uh objective about it Because if you look at just the instance where he's grabbing the glove, it clearly looks like he's cheating

and he's landing a couple punches while he's holding onto the inside of someone's glove so they can't use their arm. But when you watch it in real time, in the full context of the fight, you realize it was a fraction of a second. And there was haymakers being thrown. He was holding onto his arm

and it just so happened that for not of a second yeah and there was haymakers being thrown he was holding on to his arm and it just so happened that for a lot not even a second he had his hand inside the glove oh okay but that's that's not that's just a photograph you want to see the animated gif because the animated gif he goes from that which is he's holding the wrist where the glove is which is totally acceptable to as he's punching for a brief moment his fingers went in there but then after that is when he connected with some pretty big shots at the end of the round like I honestly I'd looked at it a few times very objectively I've had see what's let's play it again play it again from the beginning oh that's a split second he's just fighting me not only that this is all in slow motion it's a split second in slow motion yeah so let's see it again see grab boom it's like not even a second it got

caught i think it looks like he was sliding down he was in the middle of fucking combat that's what was going on he was a beast right there just swinging look at how tough he is he's got it he's got a hold of the glove man i don't know yeah that looks like you know what it looks like but it's a problem is it's happening in slow motion. It looks like he slid down. See if we can find it. Well, he definitely slid down. Yeah. But one, two, I want to know how, see the thing is though in the real fight, I don't even know if that was like he realized he was holding it and he let go.

I mean, how much time was he holding it? Let's see if you can find the real video. He's swinging right now. He doesn't care. See, forget about this because this is not even half speed. We need to find the real video. Okay. Find the real video so we can look at it in real time. But look, I was calling it. I doesn't care. See, forget about this, because this is not even half speed. We need to find the real video. Find the real video so we can look at it in real time. But look, I was calling it.

I didn't notice it. Right. If I noticed it, I would have definitely said something. I thought that... It's a very short time, even in slow motion. What was way more fucked up was that Romero was sitting on a stool in between rounds. They didn't make him stand up. They didn't take his stool away.

There was 29 seconds between the end of the second round when he was fucking on Queer Street. He was on the corner of Queer Street and Queer Boulevard. He was right there. He got fucking rocked, man. He walked back to his corner like a drunk. That 30 seconds is giant. Whose fault is that? Well, you know, they said, like Tim Kenny was saying, his corner put too much Vaseline on him.

See, that's what's wrong, because it's not the corners that use the Vaseline. It's the UFC cut men that use the Vaseline. And so the UFC assigns cut men. We use the same cut men for every event. Impartial. Yeah, yeah, impartial cut men. I mean, they certainly have friends and they, you know, I'm not saying it's

impossible that someone would leave extra grease on, but I think they left the extra grease on his eye because he had a giant cut. I saw his cut, man. His cut was huge. He had a huge cut where his eyebrow was, like a good solid inch and a half long. It was a big fucking cut, and it was bleeding.

And so they stopped the blood, and they put the Vaseline on it, but that's just what they do. The thing was, John recognized the Vaseline and started talking about the Vaseline mostly because Romero was still on the stool and people were still in there. So he was correcting them already.

He was saying, you've got to get out, get out, seconds out, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. He's got too much Vaseline on. If Romero was standing up, they might have said there was too much Vaseline on and it would have taken two seconds for them to wipe it off. Turn towards him, good, okay, fight. Like a few seconds yeah but he still sat on that stool yeah he sat on that stool just sat there he knows tim kennedy's in front of him going what the fuck

get up like what's going on and he's still just sitting on the stool that should be it they should have john should have called the fight right there you can't just sit sit on the stool. Why didn't you take the stool out? This guy doesn't, but he doesn't want to do that. See, because if he does that, then the fight doesn't go on and everybody misses the finality of the knockout. And they get mad at him now. They get mad at him. Yeah, they're like, John, why did you split them? Tim Kennedy was going to knock them the fuck out. You saved that guy.

That's right. That's bullshit. That's right. I think it's good that John wanted to, he knew we wanted to see more fights. Absolutely. Don't rob us of the fight. I think John. But you can't let that happen. And it's like, you don't expect it to happen. But I guess you have to be diligent with A, some corners who they know, they know how to fucking get their way out of a situation. They know that they can.

Look, Angelo Dundee was one of the greatest trainers of all time. And when Henry Cooper was fighting Ali, Henry Cooper cracked Ali with a left hook. He had a vicious left hook. Ali's legs gave out and he fucking crumpled. And in between rounds, Angelo Dundee realized that Ali was out, so he cut his gloves off. Right here we go.

Is this real time? Yeah. Okay, let's see it in real time. Back it up a little bit. Because that's, yeah, that's good. This is just a highlight reel so okay let's see if we can see that in the highlight reel boy what's up with youtube it's mostly this laptop is it really yeah hold on a second well now that we have those new things can we not use the laptop now that we

have the new connection jamie no it's different all right we'll fix that man tell me what to do and fix that tired of that stupid laptop yeah this laptop's bullshit bullshit it's funny man laptops of a couple years ago they just don't want to deal with all the new shit you're a techie what about the iphone 6 i'm not a real techie no no not by any stretch do you have the iphone 6 i'm a tech fan boy yeah Fanboy-esque. Yeah, that's true. But I don't really know much. Here we go. Real life.

Yeah, that's holding on. Yeah, that's real. Yeah. That's real time? Yeah. But it looks like he slid down and caught the glove. He definitely did, but he was definitely holding the glove. In real time.

But again, did he realize he was doing it? There's an argument that could be made that he did he realize he was doing it it's it's there's an argument could be made that he didn't realize he was doing it but there's also an argument that could be made that he had to know when he's doing it but he's fucking in full animal frenzy here there's a difference between that and not getting up off the stool getting off off a stool is totally 100% calculated there's no animal frenzy at all that's like two and a half punches though yep yeah it's no it's totally legit yeah but you're just moving forward i mean you know i mean let's talk i mean if you wanted to time it i mean i don't think that was a strategy though i don't think he's like i'm gonna grab that glove it doesn't feel like that it feels like he well

it's enough time for the hand yeah it's enough time to know that he's holding it and then he lets it go two see he's holding on to it boom yeah but the first one was no. The first, no, no, no. No, no, no. The first one, he's holding where the glove is. That's legal. You're allowed to hold the glove. What you're not allowed to do is this, Brian. Put your fingers inside the glove.

Right. That's what, you see, you're misjudging it. It's probably not even one second. So you're saying he's holding it for a bunch of punches, but that's not the case. Because he's holding the glove in the beginning. See, he's holding the glove in the beginning. So he's holding the wrist and the glove. Then as Romero's trying to pull away, some of the fingers go into the glove for a second. But you're incorrect if you think that it's illegal to hold the gloves.

So I think that's one of the reasons why people think this is more egregious than it is. I don't think it is at all. If he knew what he was doing, it was one second less than that. If he knew what he was doing, it is illegal. It's illegal what he was doing it is illegal it's illegal what he did for sure and it um is in the middle of this fucking battle royale moment where he's connected so you know i wholly he knows whether or not he knew what he was doing i would imagine when you're a fighter and you're in that wild scramble for your life against a stud like y'all

romero yeah you're probably in a pure animal state, just reacting on instincts. You've been smashed in the head who knows how many fucking times in that first round and in the second round. I mean, Romero cracked him with some big shots, and he's a spooky striker. And then at the end, he knocked him out. I think Romero sitting on the stool like that is a way bigger controversy than Tim grabbing him. Well, Romero knew that the round was over. He knew the round was over.

He knew he was getting an extra break. 100%. 1,000 million percent. He was sitting there. Kennedy was in front of him saying, what's going on? Get up. Get up. And he still just sat there.

Yep. I mean, that extra 29 seconds was fucking gigantic. Because after this is over, this fucking combination, boom, boom. And look at this one. Bam, bam. That last left and that right hand afterwards. And another one. Dude, Romero can take it like almost nobody I've ever seen.

It's amazing. He fought Derek Brunson. Derek Brunson head kicked him clean. Switch kick to the head. Boom. He ate it like it was candy. Didn't even buckle. So unbelievable.

Dude, it was crazy. Built for war. Totally built for war. He got chinned on the neck and just ate it like it was nothing. It's so ridiculous. Dude, it's so ridiculous. Because I remember watching that fight. I don't believe I called that fight.

I think that was a Kenny Florian fight. But I think I was watching at home going, Get the fuck out of here. How did that guy get hit with that? He just ate it. Different human being. But he didn't even stumble. Like, whack.

What? He looks as close to a superhero as you get. I mean, you don't get more feet out. It's just ridiculous. Dude, there's a picture of Romero with Hector Lombard and Tiago Alves. Seen it. Seen it. It's the most preposterous picture.

It's like... They're so ridiculously muscular. What kind of genes are you dealing with? These gladiator genes that these three guys have. Even Tiago looks somewhat diminutive next to those guys. Next to Lombard. He looks like a normal dude almost.

And Tiago's far from it. Yeah. It's unbelievable, man. Next to Romero and Lombard. He looks like a normal dude almost. And Tiago's far from it. Yeah. It was unbelievable, man. Next to Romero and Lombard. There's something about them Cuban genes, man. Yeah, that's a different thing. Cuban genes are something else. That's a different thing.

And oh, by the way, you've been throwing dudes around your whole life. Yeah. On a high level. Well, there was that boxer from the 1970s. I believe his name was Teofilo Stevenson. Stevens or Stevenson? But they always wanted him to fight Ali. They always wanted to get him from Cuba.

He was like this amateur who would win all the amateur tournaments. And everybody was like, this ain't fair because Americans get to a certain level. They're amateurs. They get to a certain level, they turn pro. But the Cubans never turn pro. So they're always amateurs. But they're being paid by Cuba. So you got these guys who are in their late 30s who've been boxing their whole life, fighting

18-year-old kids, just lighting them up. And that's what you had with the Cuban boxing team. Everybody would say, oh, the Cuban boxing team's the best. Look, without a doubt, they're very skillful. Very skillful. But recognize that they're competing far longer as amateurs than anyone in

America. I mean, that's just what it was. And so when the Americans were still winning, like in the 76 Olympics and Mark Breland and Pernell Whitaker and Meldrick Taylor. Was that 76 or was that Roy? No. 76 was Ray Leonard.

That was 88. I think it was 88. That was 88. No, it was not 88. I think it was 82 or 80, 1980 or. Mark Breland was. Mark Breland Olympics. Yeah, that wasn't 88, was it?

Was it? I don't think so.-er. Mark Breland was... Yeah, that wasn't 88, was it? Was it? I don't think so. Whatever happened to Mark Breland? He's coaching people now. Huh. Yeah, he... 1984. Oh, okay.

Gold medal in the 1984 Olympics. Yeah, he was a bad motherfucker. I just re-watched some Pernod Wicker fights. Those were all kids. Those were all kids that took on, in some countries, like when you're facing Cuban boxers in amateur tournaments or sometimes the Soviet Union.

Yeah, they were grown men. They weren't going to fight professionally. There was no professional fighting. That was always the deal with certain Soviet boxers. But Soviet boxing has really taken off now. With Gennady Golovkin and the other guys. All of them, man. There's a whole shitload of them.

Who's going to fight? Who's the Russian? I keep forgetting. Provdikov or whatever. Who's going to fight? Provodnikov? No, no, that's not his name. The guy who's going to fight Bernard Hopkins next.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, he's a bad motherfucker. I don't remember his name. I just saw him fight a few weeks ago. Gennady Golovkin? No, Gennady Golovkin is the middleweight guy, right? Yeah, he fights at 54 or something. Yeah, let's see.

Bernard Hopkins next fight. Yeah, that Russian guy is scary. But Hopkins is a ridiculous freak. Kovalev. Sergio Kovalev. Kovalev. Sergio Kovalev. Kovalev, yeah.

Yeah, he's a beast. Yes. It's fascinating that Bernard Hopkins is still boxing the shit out of these guys, though, at 49 years of age. And hunting, going after guys like this guy who hits. I think he's knocked out everybody he's fought. Yeah. Including killed a guy in the ring.

What? Yes. He killed a guy? Yes, he did. What? Where'd you get that? That's a fact. For real?

Yep. How do you know this? I read about him kovalev killed a man all right yeah oh love kill the man wow it's if you google it that comes up really quickly yeah so he's a killer wow that's how hard he hits boxer dies in the ring yeah his name was roman simakov There's a video of it. And Kovalev didn't give a fuck? Well, I don't know.

I mean, I don't want to say that. But, I mean, he certainly didn't. It didn't hurt his boxing. He just kept boxing. That's what people are terrified of, right? A guy who can kill a guy and then go right back and be just as good. He's got really weird power. I mean, he really hurts dudes. And if you see what happens, there's highlights of when he hits him and they just go, what?

What's this? Oh, I'm getting hit. Oh, this is a of when he hits him and they just go, what, what's this? Oh, I'm getting hit. Oh, this is a different thing. Totally. I've never been hit by a sparring partner like this or in the gym. This is different. Yeah. And Golovkin's kind of the same way.

And I think Golovkin hits that hard. Like, yeah, there's a lot of those Soviet guys that can just fucking crack you. Yeah. It's weird. Well, they have an excellent, their amateur system is so good. It's just like the Cuban system. Yeah. It's supported, I think.

And a lot of them, they're starting out. Let me see that. Is that the fight where the guy died? Pull it up to the beginning. That's bad. Sometimes guys also, and this is a reality of boxing, sometimes guys come into the ring itself already damaged from sparring yeah you know when shaw was talking about how he used to spar with shane carwin and he would have fights

and he was fucked up when he went into the fight like he said when he fought uh ben rothwell he's like dude i got ko'd just like not long before the fight by shane sparring with shane it that's they say that a lot of boxers were ruined in the gym wars. Fuck yeah. You know? Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, I mean, guys have died in gym wars too, by the way. 100%.

This guy's a murderer, man. I mean, I didn't mean that in that way. I meant like ferocious. Yeah, he just hits so hard. He didn't mean to kill this guy, obviously. Of course. He was boxing, you know? Well, it might not have been his fault at all.

I mean, like I said, that guy could have gone into the cage already fucked up. Yep. Into the ring, rather. Yeah. It's very, very possible that he had a pre-existing condition. It's very possible that it was from all the damage that he took while sparring. It's very possible that he cut a lot of weight and he didn't rehydrate properly. It's such a tragedy to see something like that.

Yeah, it is. I hate seeing a great fighter who gives his whole life and then it's just the worst man well how about when roy jones jr got carried out of the ring and now we're seeing him fight again he's back at it went to sleep oh he went he was in total parallel universes that the one with glenn johnson yeah those are the those are the that's the damage that they say you don't walk away from that's the scary one ones. When you go out for a long time, like when Manny Pacquiao got, you know, Marquez hit him with that left hook or whatever. I mean, he was just, it's not just getting hit there, then falling on your face.

Yeah, that's bad too. You know, that's probably as bad, that thing that happens to guys when they bounce their head off the canvas. Yeah. That's just as bad. Because you see like when a lot of guys get like viciously knocked out it's one of the things that that does it i remember when uh mike mccallum fought donald curry i used to be a big donald curry fan donald curry was a sick boxer man in the 1980s he was sick he had just wicked technique man he just threw

everything perfect he didn't have like a big build he wasn't built like like a monster he just had he just was a wicked athlete a really good boxer and um he uh he cut weight against this guy lloyd hunnigan he was however he had a really hard time making 147 and that was back when they just did not know how to rehydrate people correctly right they just did a terrible job of rehydrating people and so he had to go up um in weight class after that he just fought like shit and after that he was never really the same again it's like that one loss one one time get beaten up in one time of like losing the confidence of being the best pound for pound fighter in the world he was considered the best pound for pound for a while and um then he fought mike mccallum and mike mccallum hit him with this left hook to the body left hook to the chin whack bam and the one to the chin just sent him flying

backwards his head bounced off the canvas oh blam it's out is that ricky hatton ricky hatton versus the craziest thing i've ever seen he got shut off his whole bang you saw in slow motion his whole head looked like an accordion yeah Yeah. You just got perfectly punched. Are there more knockouts now in the UFC or has it stayed the same? People are getting better. If people are getting better, it makes it tougher to hit people, but they're better at hitting people. It depends on the matchups, really.

I think there's less people that fight in the UFC now that have one very specific discipline, you know, and they're missing the other stuff. Like, you never see the grapplers that can't strike at all anymore. Everybody's dangerous on their feet. Everybody, I mean, they're not equal. It's not equal. Yeah. But there's a lot of goddamn dangerous dudes.

There's very few people that have that glaring hole in their game, so you can't just go in and just beat the shit out of them. You've got to set them up just like everybody else. They're athletes. They move very fast, and if you fuck up and they catch you with something, you can get in big trouble, especially early in a fight. So I think that people are just better all across the board. There's better athletes now than there's ever been before.

Guys like McGregor coming up, like Conor McGregor. This fucking kid's a tremendous athlete. Wonderboy Thompson, did you see that fight? I didn't see that fight. Jesus Christ, that kid's good. He's great, huh? His fucking striking's ridiculous. He's been striking since he was like three, literally.

And he's all point style. His hands are down. Taekwondo. He's staring sideways. Nobody can get in on him. You get in on him, you're eating knuckle sandwiches. Front foot kicks. Oh, everything. Throws front leg side kicks to the body. Throws

vicious leg kicks. Throws head kicks. I mean, he's fucking good. He has 57-0 kickboxing record. God. Dude. 57-0? 57-0. And he's just starting to figure out the MMA game. He's starting to get so comfortable. He hasn't even wrestled that long, right? Exactly.

I think he's a purple belt or a blue belt in Jiu-Jitsu. His brother-in-law, I think, is Carlos Machado. One of Machado's brother-in-law. So he's, you know, he's been involved in martial arts essentially his whole life. But it's mostly striking. So now you're seeing him learn to avoid the takedowns. And once

he's learning to avoid the takedowns, he's, you know, able to be much more comfortable on his feet. Now he's getting loose. Fuck, dude. Guy's learning some ridiculous combinations, man. Mr. Dominic Cruz is looking pretty good. Dude! That was insane.

Brendan told me he trained with him one time. He and Chael trained with Dominic Cruz. And both of them, at the end of the session, they were both basically quiet because Dominic Cruz is cruz is so smart he was like no when you do this you do this and he was showing them stuff and they were like how smart is this fucking guy he's very smart he's very focused you know i mean you you see that when you pay attention to his analysis he's very good at analyzing like he did a great breakdown once that i thought was really important for people to watch for young fighters especially of when conley knocked out Rich Franklin. And he shows the error that Franklin made.

Franklin threw a kick and the counter, he was right in line for the counter. He didn't move his head off the center line at all. And I'm like, this is so important that someone draws this in a, he had a diagram. Wow. One of those things, and he's showing, he's pointing to the big screen

and pointing out all the different aspects. Because his head is always to the side. It's almost like tj dillashaw like you know like he and duane watched dominic you know oh well they did oh they did of course yeah that's gonna be a fun fight to watch very fun fight to watch tj if if anybody's emulated dominic style of movement a lot of it's tj yeah but Dominic took it to a totally different level the other night. He looked like he was on, like he was from another planet. I mean, he was like, that was seriously like the next level technique, like next level aggression, next level proficiency, next level accuracy.

How good was the guy he was fighting though? Very good. Really? Mitsugaki's top five. Wow. He's number five and number six contender. Wow. Yeah, Mitsugaki's very five. Wow. He's number five and number six contender. Wow. Yeah, Mitsugaki's very good.

Very good. Because what's interesting to me is a lot of guys who shine in other divisions, other organizations, come over to the UFC. Like watching Donald Cerrone in that fight against Eddie Alvarez. And Eddie Alvarez is a kid. Wasn't Eddie Alvarez the Bellator champ for a while? He was. He just lost the title.

I mean, he didn't even lose the title. He just left with the title. And then watching when he comes out of the UFC and watching what Donald Cerrone did to him was a real eye-opener for me because he looks like such a... He is a killer and he's a great fighter, but Donald's a different level. Donald's got real Muay Thai. That real Muay Thai is different than these guys that want to be boxers who just occasionally throw kicks. There's boxers who just occasionally throw kicks, and there's guys who have left hook, right leg kick ingrained in their genetics.

When Donald Cerrone hits you with a left kick to the liver, you better lift up your left leg to check. Because if you don't, he's coming down hard on that thigh with that shin. He hooks with the left and then chops with the right. And it's in his DNA, dude. He'll throw that straight right, left hook, right leg kick all day long. And you'll be in that moment because you're moving away from the left hook. You move away from that left hook, you step to your left to avoid the punch that's coming from the guy's left hand. And he chops that right leg kick right on your thigh.

And he's bringing that knee up. He's timing that knee. Every time you go in for a single leg, good luck. Boom. You know who does that awesome? It's Jose Aldo. They call it the Dutchie. They yell out in his corner, the Dutchie, the Dutchie.

Because it's a classic Dutch combination, Dutch kickboxing being one of the most talent-rich countries ever for kickboxing was Holland. Like beyond, above and beyond. So many great fighters came from Holland. It's almost insane. Ernesto Hoost. Ernesto Hoost. Badr Hari. Bas Rutten.

Rob Kamen, who's arguably the greatest of all time. Ramon Dekkers, who's also arguably the greatest of all time. Dekkers and Bas... When you think... Bas Rutten is one of the greatest strikers to ever enter into MMA. And one of the reasons is because he had that MMA striking training from Holland right it's all like dealing with high-level kickboxing training you know Peter Hertz I mean just you can keep going on and on and on the great kickboxers that

came out of Holland the training in Holland even guys who aren't from home like Tyrone Spong. He learned in Holland. He developed that Holland style. Melvin Manhoof, Holland. Yeah, he's a killer. Monsters. The kickboxing is so high level there, man. Just ridiculously high level.

So they would always call that out. The dutchie, the dutchie. And that's that left hook, left hook to the body, right leg kick. Aldo throws it like a fucking ballerina. It's crazy. It's like art form when he throws it. It's like, whoo, like he just spun in the air like he was a figure skater or something. I really want to see that.

I'm dying to see McGregor, Aldo now, of course. Who isn't? Well, I'm dying to see Aldo versus Chad Mendes, too, man. Mendes has improved his striking, but Aldo is always a motherfucker, man. Mendes is going to have a hard time because he's so short and stocky. I feel like he's going to have a very hard time getting close to McGregor, man. He just fights at a different distance. Yeah, well, that's why we want to see them fight.

It's always interesting when someone has a big task to deal with. But the other task is we've never seen McGregor fight a guy who's a monster wrestler like Mendes. Mendes is a super athlete and a monster wrestler. What happens if McGregor gets taken down? How well does he fight off of his back? How well does he do when he gets clay-guided? Like clay-guided did to Anthony Pettis, just stuck on him like glue and dragged him to the ground and made a stalemate out of it. What does he do then?

And that's a beautiful thing about watching contenders with various styles go at it, is that you get the chance to see. Like, from a strategic standpoint, there's so many variables. Like, there's kind of, there's some variables in boxing and in kickboxing. There's movement and different combinations you could throw. But the variables between striking and grappling and the transitions between those two are what makes MMA so fucking exciting and some of the things that people boo at and they get bummed out about like Clay Guida stifling Anthony Pettis to the point where he can't get anything off those are good you have to see those because you got to know that a guy can do that because when you see a guy like Conor McGregor was just running through everybody you go okay

what happens if he fights a guy who just has a lightning shot that you can't stop like josh koshek in his prime a guy who just like you know lightning shot yeah just drives you across the cage like you're a fucking pillow and tosses you in the air and slams you on your back you're like oh next level shit different what do you do yeah how do you react yeah and we don't know that yet that's one of the cool things about watching different styles go at it you don't know what the fuck is going to happen i mean mcgregor could hook kick him in the face he could do something crazy the first thing he threw was a hook kick first thing he threw i don't think i've ever seen that in usa very rarely straight up taekwondo hook yeah i mean um cro-cops thrown a couple but it was almost like it was almost like

this is how much respect i have for you i'm gonna hook kick at you. Well, if you are good at it, you've got a good chance of landing it because people don't expect it. It's like this guy Larry Kelly. We've talked about him on the podcast before. He was a guy in Boston that was known to have a really good hook kick. He was known for it. Bill Superfoot Wallace had a really good hook kick. This guy Larry Kelly, back when Billy Blanks used to be a point fighter, he hook kicked Billy Blanks in the head and sent him flying across the thing unconscious. Wow.

Wow. It was like one of the greatest. The one thing I never used. Find it. Larry Kelly KOs Billy Blanks. I know we've shown it on the podcast before, but it's a weird kick to get good at because it's an awkward movement of the body. Yes.

But if you practice it, you can get it like everything else. Right. A wheel kick's a weird kick, but once you learn how to distribute your weight properly and whip yourself through it, it becomes easy or at least ingrained. You can use it. It's the same thing with the hook kick. I never really developed a good hook kick. Me neither.

I used to hate practicing it. It was always a thing we used to be like, all right, here's a hook kick. Let's move on. I want to do roundhouse. But it's good, though. I had, you know, look, here it is watch this this is crazy boom dude yeah hook kick to the face that's crazy yeah watch watch that one more time larry kelly was uh i was living in boston this guy was um larry kelly was like one of the karate guys that you'd hear about

in the western massachusetts area he was like one of the best guys that you'd hear about in the western Massachusetts area. He was one of the best at this style, this point style of karate fighting, which there was some boom. Look at that shit. Crazy. He thought it was going to be a slide side kick, I think. Yeah, and he slid back and caught it right on the jaw. That's amazing.

Yeah, there was a bunch of those guys. There was Billy Blanks, and there was a couple other guys that I don't remember their name. There was one guy named Mafia Holloway, who was this big this big yoked up black dude who was like super fucking fast? Those type one guys when you watch like like some karate guys They kick so hard and I mean if you get caught in the head with those cakes like yeah kick roundhouse. Good luck No doubt. Yeah, there was a lot of those guys very very fast And especially when you try to fight him at that style because that style what it is They they were lunging they hit each other and then they break the action up. It's real weird and especially if you try to fight him at that style, because that style, what it is, they lunge in,

they hit each other, and then they break the action up. It's real weird. It's like, but there's something good. The idea behind it is kind of silly because the idea is really based on this notion that a karate man is too deadly to ever land more than one punch and that even when you land, people would get in trouble for excessive contact.

Like if you hit too hard. Yep, you get disqualified. But I think it's funny that karate, taekwondo, and a lot of those moves like hook kick and side side kick and roundhouse, the way they do it in taekwondo, are kind of just becoming more relevant now in MMA. They're really good to have because you can fight from a distance. What I was going to say is the good thing about the breaking it up

is that you have to learn how to close that distance the best way you can. The emphasis was entirely on closing the distance and landing. The emphasis was not on doing anything after that. So once they learned how to close that distance with ridiculous speed, if you fight people that are used to only continuous fighting, oftentimes that's not something they're good at because it's too dangerous You don't just launch yourself across the ring at somebody because if you do you get get fucked up man Unless you're really good at launching yourself across the ring and being evasive and one of the best ways to do that is to learn How to play tag and what that's essentially what these karate guys are doing and if you can learn how to play tag and what that's essentially what these karate guys are doing and if you can learn how to play tag way better than anybody else that's a fucking giant advantage and that is what conor mcgregor's

doing that's what wonder boy thompson is doing what these guys are doing is they're incorporating a point style of fighting and the people who are used to that muay thai style or a taekwondo style like in point fighting like you know or um uh continuous fighting they're they're not used to it they're not used to someone who launches themselves with like such fluidity across the cage like that that hook kick no one would do reaching you wouldn't do that in a muay thai fight no because you would never develop it that good right because to have that as your approach over and over and over again it's really ridiculous somebody's gonna know what you're doing they're gonna chop your leg but they can't when you get so good at it because you've done it

to this incredible level of proficiency so they develop like a it's a weird jump and it's the same thing with taekwondo in a way because there's a lot of taekwondo techniques developed because they don't allow leg kicks because if they allowed leg kicks a lot of the shit you do wouldn't work that was one of the first things that I learned when I started kickboxing was that there's two things that I suck at I suck at getting kicked in the legs and I suck at boxing right like when I was outside kicking distance I was good but when guys get close to me I would be flustered I didn't know what to do I got punched in the face a lot I got my leg kicked yeah like well that was that's

what's so different about Conor McGregor which I didn't realize he was a national champion he was a national amateur champion at his boxer which i didn't know and they never really talk about it in ufc you never see that really in his credits but he was he won the nationals well it's his kicking that's almost more impressive well i'm saying that he's one of the few guys who can kick and then when he's in there his hands are amazing like he doesn't have that problem. He's a good, he's an excellent boxer. He's an excellent boxer. What's shocking to me is how well he's picked up the kicking. He's throwing hook kicks and spinning back kicks.

That's his opening moves. I really think a lot of it is he truly is after, in such a single-minded way, such a single-minded way, the single-minded way the championship that's all that matters and it's the next he's next level yeah there's next level guys there's like okay here's the new evolution the next level guy is a guy who's a wicked boxer who's got an iron chin who fucking totally believes in himself has charisma coming out of every fucking pore in his body oh and he can knock you the fuck out with any hand and he calls it he predicts it like ali predicted he's going to knock out the number five guy in the world with within the first round and he did it dressed to the nines yeah he's hilarious

he's awesome fucking love the guy and a guy like that man that's next level shit that's like everything that john jones has failed to do with the public, this fucking guy has done without even winning the championship. It's incredible. It's fascinating. Because like a lot of people, like I've always tried to figure out what it is about someone that makes people like them. It's so hard to tell, man.

You don't know what the fuck it is. Like I never saw a guy like McGregor coming. I never saw that. I always felt like, you know, I've seen all the different models. A lot of it's just being able to rise up to the hype, right? So it's one thing to talk a big game. It's another when you are actually championship material, when you're skill level. Yeah.

And you're doing what you said you do. When you predict the first round knockout with a guy like Justin Poirier. Dustin. I mean, Dustin Poirier. Jesus Christ, bro. I know, I'm terrible. You have a fighter podcast, too. I know, I know. Dustin Poirier. Jesus Christ, bro. I know, I'm terrible. You have a fighter podcast, too. I know, I know.

Dustin Poirier. I keep saying Justin. But, I mean, that guy's a killer. You know, and he did it. Poirier is a bad motherfucker. Yeah. He just got caught up in the headlights. You know, McGregor's no joke.

He's really good. And, again, he's next level. Well, you were at the weigh-in. What was he saying to him? I wasn't at the weigh-in. Oh, you weren't. I was in Toronto. Yeah, he's a it's it's

a fascinating time for martial arts man really interesting time because all these techniques that were thought to be not like pivotal techniques have become pivotal techniques like front kicks the face that's not even a flashy technique but once anderson landed it on vitor all of a sudden it became like a number one technique. And then Brown landed it on Alistair. Yeah. He landed it perfectly in that fucking, oh, my God, it's Vitor. Or not Vitor. Vitor getting knocked out by Anderson, but Randy getting knocked out by Machida

with a jumping front kick. Machida took it to the next level. I want to thank Mr. Seamless Goal for giving me a front kick. It's so crazy that these techniques. Now, Thompson does a lot of front leg round kicks. He does a lot of weird shit. He sneaks kicks over behind your shoulder and then chops down. Josh Thompson?

No, Wonderboy Thompson. Stephen Thompson. He's doing a lot of weird, interesting karate kicks. Josh Thompson's got some serious kicks, too. He's the first guy to stop Nate Diaz in the octagon. He head kicked him him That was fucking nasty That was a vicious fight Nick Diaz is really coming back to fight

Anderson Silva January You want to be there? Come on I got a show Do the show at the Mirage At the Mirage what day in January? It's like, whatever January 2nd is.

I'll figure it out. January 1st, probably? I'll figure it out. Do you have a New Year's show anywhere? Yeah. Where you at?

I'll be in Bora Bora with my family. What? So you're never going to make a show in Vegas. How dare you? Oh, it's New Year's.

Oh, shit. What are you, retarded? What are we talking about here? I don't know. I kept thinking it was after that.

This is Brian, by the way. He'll tell you, I'll be at your party. Wait, maybe I'll be'll tell you hey i'm gonna be in russia for a month what wait are you gonna come to my party you rsvp'd you dick you don't know you're such a child well that's why you're funny i'm in borough speaking of which i'll be in that i like irresponsible people i'll be at the atlanta improv october 16th 17th just plug it like that that's weird what you were talking about

where you'd be. No, no, no. I didn't talk about where I'd be. What? I just happened to have... Wait, okay, there's a better way to do it. We're talking about fights.

You want to be there for the fights. But do you want me... When do you want me? Not October 16th, 17th, and 18th, right? Tickets aren't even on sale for my thing yet. No. Oh, because I'll be in Atlanta.

I'm trying to bring you in. The Improv. That's where you're at for what? New Year's? No. I'm with my family. I'm talking about October. Why are you going to Boraora bora what the fuck is that my dad's taking everybody the whole family kids and everything yep i was like really all right i've never been i get

nervous on vacation i'm just not good really you get nervous i just get restless i can't hang here's here's the reality our life is way more fun than average you get to be a goddamn comedian all the time and like it's a friday night and there's no show you look at your watch you go shit i could be on stage right now it's like chris delia chris delia was like if i'm not why would i do anything why would i talk to you dude when all i do is crush and come he's like you know what i like i go crush and come that's hilarious yeah how about that how about chris living in a good old pocket there i was loving it just just his his instagram cracks me up and he's just fucking loving stand-up just selling out

selling out all over the place it's nice to be in a place where everything starts clicking yeah you know i see guys like him everything is clicking you know it's all firing together it's cool to watch yeah man i've been watching a lot of stand-up over the last last few weeks really yeah i watched kat williams special and i uh i enjoyed it there's a lot of stand-up over the last few weeks. Really? Yeah, I watched Cat Williams' special, and I enjoyed it. There's a lot of people, some people were criticizing it. I enjoyed it. One of the things I really enjoyed is there's a version of it on YouTube. If you see the version on YouTube, somebody captured, like, one of his sets before the special was actually taped,

where it was like he was on fire. He was just, like, hitting every beat, getting ready for the special, you know? And it was more loose and relaxed than the actual special itself i really enjoyed it better actually i thought you could see like how funny he really is when he's on he i didn't know who he was and i saw him at the comedy store a while back when i was so blown away how long ago was this i don't know uh three four years ago oh okay and i remember just watching him it was on tripping on tuesdays or whatever they call it and i was just like what the fuck and i walked up to him. It was on Trippin' on Tuesdays or whatever they call it, and I was just like, what the fuck?

And I walked up to him. I go, bro, that was incredible. Oh, thanks, man. He's a very funny dude. He's powerful, man. When he's nailing it, man, he's powerful. 20 years of comedy, right? More than that.

That's my kind of comedy, too. I love his kind of comedy. It's just so ridiculous. When he had that issue Like he had a bunch of arrests And all kinds of shit I was really bummed out Because he's like

One of my favorite guys to watch I'm like please don't spiral Don't spiral Keep it together man Is he back though? Is he? Yeah Well he did

Well you know Only he knows But he did that special That was a big thing He did it on HBO Spike Lee directed it That was a big thing I think he's the funniest

He makes me laugh the most Kills me When he's on You know But Stanhope makes me laugh hard too But in a totally different way Stanhope is like Pointing shit out

That is just ridiculous And then driving it Through the fucking skull of America Whereas Cat Williams Is just being hilarious Just being I mean he has points He does make points

But he's just He's all about being Fucking I mean, he has points. He does make points, but he's just, he's all about being fucking hilarious. Right. Whether it's making fun of himself or making fun of, you know,

someone else or everybody. I just, this is a great time for comedy, man. It's a great time to be a fan. Yeah, it really is.

And it's a great time to be a comedian, too, because there's so much stupid shit going on. It's like, every time you turn around, there's some new fucking stupid thing. It's just endless, too time you turn around there's some new fucking stupid

thing just endless too you just there's so many things to talk about if i followed sports boy i really have material if you had like some uh some good nfl wife beating yeah material yeah i don't know what the fuck is going on but it seems like every day you turn i think it's been going on forever i think now it's just being more exposed. You think that's what it is? Huge league, a huge number of guys. Yeah, what is the number of guys? You're going to get three or four dudes in the NFL. How many? I think there's 50 guys a team.

Jamie would know. How many guys in the NFL? Minimum 50 guys a team. What's that? 100 per team, 32 teams. 50 per team? Yeah, so 50 times 32. You're going to have three or four dudes in that ratio who are going to step out.

Okay. I'm not surprised. There's no doubt about it, right? Yeah. That's 1,000-something. What is that? 1,500? 1,500 dudes.

1,500 dudes, that's a pretty low average, actually, if you only get a few wife beaters. I wonder what would happen if you got 1,500 cement workers. Probably be a little higher. I'll tell you that right now. How about 1,500 whatever, fill in the blank. Yeah. cement workers 1500 a little higher yeah i'll tell you that right now how about 1500 you know whatever fill in the blank yeah you know that's why when when everybody says you know oh this guy got with divorce he got fucked over women are cunts you that's all you ever hear about but i love when i hear about people that get amicably separated yeah nobody hurts anybody nobody's there

was a lady who got arrested who was on The Walking Dead She she was an actress like she had a small part on The Walking Dead She sent ricin like that fucking poison to people under her husband's name Like she tried to say that he was sending it and it was her she's doing like 20 fucking years in jail for that Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fucking terrifying. Some people take it to a whole nother level. Are you kidding me? I'm going to poison people.

I'm going to send poison and get you locked up in jail forever and laugh. I'm going to set you up because you don't want to be with me anymore. Or you cheated on me or you fucking wrecked my car or whatever the hell he did. I don't know what he did. I know a guy who was dating a girl. We had a fight. She pulled, he fell asleep he took a pill fall asleep on the plane she unzipped his pants and pulled out his junk and let it sit there and he got in real trouble for that oh my god how did he ever get out uh he had to go to court he had to hire a lawyer and go to court and everything

in fact and uh yeah it was a it was a major and they were even thinking about having him he was gonna maybe even have to register as a sex offender it became a real issue because a nightmare and um the story goes on but i won't talk about it fuck yeah she was crazy god well that can happen because you know what man you don't know they can't scan your brain and say oh this guy's not a sex pervert he's just a guy that got caught up in a relationship with a crazy person but you know there's so there's so much power in accusing someone of something or in setting someone up there's so much power if if someone can do that male or female someone can

send anthrax in your name and get you busted and watch it all from the sidelines, ha ha ha, my plan worked! Like, what kind of a sick fuck human is that? A few ways to get caught, though, when those forensics guys come in and they start asking you questions, they're like, well, let's go through this. Well, all they have to do is get your DNA. So many people, they leave DNA on envelopes. They don't even realize that you're a sweaty fuck.

You licked that envelope? Oh, you licked it. Congratulations. You're arrested for the rest of your life. One of the best people I know is such a good guy. He got accused. Besides you. Besides you.

Besides you. In the workplace. How do you suddenly get hurt? What the fuck? One of the best people I know got accused of sexual harassment and got suspended from his job for a year. It was a government job. So he hires a lawyer.

Did he really sexually harass you? No. No. My God, this story is crazy. The story was he said something in allusion to her dress that had relevance to something else. And she goes, I don't feel comfortable and ran out, but she has a history of doing this to people.

So he hires a lawyer, a woman woman so you have to hire this woman my buddy said they went they went and sat at a table and before it even got to any kind of trial or anything they they usually think about arbitration he started he said she started asking this woman some questions and you got to realize this woman thought she could get away with a lie. But all of a sudden, she got into the ring. She got in the ring with somebody who does this for a living. With a lawyer who specializes in people who... Fraudulent claims.

Fraudulent claims. So all of a sudden, she started asking this woman questions that my friend hadn't even thought of. And he said, dude, it was the crate. He eviscerated her until she finally said, I't feel comfortable i don't want to do this she went she jumbled her hands i don't feel comfortable i don't want to do this and she goes so do you want to drop the charges because you were maybe fabricating the circumstances i don't whatever whatever well it went away but it's still scary that someone could just do that to decide. Fuck yeah, it is.

They decide they hate you. Fuck yes. Or they decide they love you, and you don't want to have anything to do with them. Oh, God. Play Misty for me. Oh, yeah. Man, there's a lot of that out there, man. People are fucking nuts.

How did it happen? Male and female, both sides. That's why it's gross when anybody ever goes one way or the other. I'm all for women's rights. I'm all for men's rights. Some women I don't like at all.'m just all for fair there's some men i don't want to be around ever right for the rest of my life it doesn't matter what gender they are like i don't give a fuck right should women get extra rights no should they get equal rights absolutely everyone everyone everyone should be treated evenly by the law, without a doubt.

But when you're more geared up towards one side or the other, like, I can't get behind these men's rights dudes. I can't. So strange. Look, I think there's definitely some fucked up laws when it comes to alimony. There's some fucked up laws when it comes to child custody laws. And, you know, some people do, like what you were talking about and what I was talking about, some people will make fraudulent claims

about their children and they'll do it and they'll set a guy up just so that they can get total custody. They're going to war. So if they'll lie about, I mean, someone who would send ricin is not above lying

about what the husband did to the children. There's a lot of crazy shit that goes on. But it's a human issue. More than it's a male-woman issue. There's some fucked up laws, for sure. Well, I was going to say that if you took 1,500 women, I wonder how many actually have lashed out and hit their husbands. Even in the Ray Rice video, I believe she hits him.

It's not justified, but yeah, she hit him. But what you're supposed to do is hold on to them. Unless you're the same size. Unless you're fighting Ronda Rousey. You better throw some fucking bombs. Or you better be ready to tap out. I hope she doesn't break your shit off and stuff it up your ass. No doubt.

Because she will. But otherwise, just grab a hold of him. Don't hit. And if you really are fighting a chick, if you're living with a chick who is prone to violence and can probably kick your ass. Break up with her. Break up with her. She's too scary. Run away.

It's too scary. I dated a girl who used to get very physically abusive. That's scary. Called her dumb once. She was drunk. I didn't know she was drunk. One of those drunks where you don't know they're drunk. And they just act normal.

They're just kind of blank. Why'd you call her dumb? I called her dumb. Why'd you call her dumb? I can't remember, uh it was just one of many things i called her she swung a boot at me so hard at so hard she was so strong i ducked i ducked in it and i had one of those sliding closets and it just just went right through that sliding closet just just a hole in it whoa i was like what is going on here man i mean it was nuts it was fuck her after that sure did yeah i held her down i said hey calm down calm down and then we fucked well that's

the best part of that kind of relationship that was fun for a year until i had to figure out a way to meet her victor yeah okay let's not talk yeah i know who that is yeah um you know the violent part and the making up part a lot of times that's like what they grew up with, right? Yeah. Yeah, or they run out of, I think a lot of times violence is an offshoot of running out of other ammunition. So you're not, you can't think of something witty to say. You can't really think of a comeback. You don't even know what to do.

I think a lot of times it's almost like you uh you regress immediately you just strike you just strike because children when they don't have the language they'll hit i dated a girl when i was in high school and uh we broke up and she was dating this dude and uh she used to we used to work at the same place when i went to visit her once i was talking to her and she was telling me, she was crying, telling me about this guy that she was dating that beats her. He hits her. And I was like, oh my God. Like, I couldn't believe it.

And then she goes, you know what's really fucked up? I like it. Oh, I could have finished that sentence for you. I go, you like it? Yeah. And she goes, yeah, I like it. I don't know why. I like it when he hits me. I go, you like it? And she goes, yeah, I like it. I don't know why. I like it when he hits me.

I go, you like it when he hits you? Yeah. I go, like, do you want him to keep hitting you? She's like, no, I'm just fucked up. And I go, whoa. I go, you mean he like, he broke her window? He punched through her window? Because she's important enough.

She's important enough to elicit an insane response. So she feels valued well i was it was fascinating to me because we were both really young at the time i think i was probably shit i couldn't have been more than like 17 or 18 and she was probably like the same she was like 17 i was 18 i think something like that so when she was telling me this i was like what like you like it when this guy hits you strange like it Like, it might have been 1918. And not so strange. But it was in that neighborhood. You know, we just had a high school.

You know, she had graduated, so she had to be 18. So it was just a bizarre conversation. I was like, you can't let people hit you. Look at how many people wore Ray Rice. How many women wore Ray Rice's jersey and number at the next game. Because they want that violent dick. I don't know. But they were all in solidarity.

I thought that was amazing. Yeah, there's a weird thing. It's a weird thing when people just decide to fucking jump on board with the asshole. His wife came out and was very public about defending him. Yeah, well, hey. It's more complicated. She got half her fucking brain knocked in. Who knows where her judgment's at.

Dude, she got KO'd and bounced her head off the pole. She could have easily been dead. Easily been dead. Easily been dead. The idea that he hit her like that, and being mean, I don't know, man. Also the way he dragged her out and didn't really tend to her. No, at all.

That was what I thought was so impersonal and strange. He just, like, if he had knocked her out and grabbed her and be like oh my god oh my god oh my god like i just i i reacted or whatever okay i'm a violent guy i play football but to to kind of almost look at her and kind of move her with his foot and it was just like oh wow you you are that's that's bad news fucked up That's the most fucked up. Well, no, the most fucked up is the impact, the punch. That's the second most fucked up thing is how he'd treat her like, bitch, get the fuck up. You know, just.

Drag her. It wasn't until someone showed up and people were kind of freaking out that it became, you know, something they tended to. There are cameras in elevators. I don't know if you know that in 2002. Nobody was thinking that, man. All he was thinking was, she ain't hitting me. He's going to hit her back. I was on a plane once with Michael Irvin. And Michael Irvin, it's a long-ass flight.

We're going to Australia. Just randomly happened to be on a plane with me. And he's a good dude. He's always at the UFC. Yeah, he's a great guy. And a great athlete. And we're talking. And he was talking about this foundation that he has

where he works with a lot of young kids, teaches them how to harness their anger. And what he explained, he was explaining this to me on the flight that when kids grow up in bad neighborhoods with this violence in the house and then the mother's under stress all the time, it changes like the reaction that the boy has to violence when he gets outside. It changes his reaction to stress all the time it changes like the reaction that the boy has to violence when he gets outside it changes his reaction to stress it makes him like ultra impulsive it makes him like inclined towards violence and he was talking about how you literally have to figure out how to rewire your brain you know and he was talking for personal experience and he was talking about how you have

to figure out how to rewire your brain in a positive way. And that it's very important to recognize that these kids are coming out of the gate with the amount of control you expect out of a reasonable adult. They don't have that amount. They have less. And one of the reasons why they have less is the shit they were exposed to when they were in the fucking womb, man. I mean, it's beyond them. And I think that's the case with a lot of people. I've wondered if that's the case with myself.

You know, I don't think I was exposed to too much stress in the womb, but I was exposed to a lot of violence when I was young. Yeah. I remember a lot of like fucking crazy shit in my house, in my dad's house after my mom moved out because my dad used to beat my mom. I remember, I remember some violent shit. That's crazy stuff. That's. Dude. You don't get over that. in my dad's house after my mom moved out because my dad used to beat my mom i remember i remember some crazy stuff that's dude you don't get over that i mean that's that shapes you i mean i remember i remember how you were when you were younger because the world was a dangerous place

man you kept things at an arm's length you were always ready to go always like you just were always like who's that guy i don't know that guy you Fuck guy. Why is that guy talking to us right now? I remember you were always paranoid that way, controlling of the environment, you know? And then you started to calm down. I think weed helped a lot. That helped a lot. You know? And you got older.

But when you were younger, you were not, you trusted me and maybe one or two other people. It was also, I was coming straight off of competitive fighting. Sure. For like most of my formative years. Like from 15 to 21 then I go into comedy it's also happened when you were

it happened back then all that shit you didn't feel safe when you have a dad like you did I'm sorry man that's not kids aren't supposed

to see that or they are yeah well by the way you know worked out for me I figured it out it took a long time we spent all our time

trying to shelter and protect our children I wonder if that's the best thing sometimes too dude out of the gate i trusted nobody i remember being five years old and uh thinking people were retarded i remember clearly like seeing people argue over shit when i was like five years old going these fucking dummies jesus christ i remember being in lebanon during. What? How old were you? I was, I'll do you one even better. I was fifth, sixth, fourth, fifth, and sixth grade, I think, or even younger. So what is that, 10? I was probably from the age of, yeah, 8, 9, 10 in the war.

And seeing, hearing machine guns, having to sleep on the floor, having to sleep in the war and seeing, hearing machine guns, having to sleep on the floor, having to sleep in the basement, seeing planes bomb, you know, shoot missiles and bomb a gas station. When you're like, hey dad,

how many more years of this shit we gotta deal with before we get the fuck back to America? At one point, my dad couldn't get back in. We had to be evacuated to Greece. But that feeling, that feeling of helplessness

as a boy, machine guns, men in uniforms, just me, my mom, and my sister, that kind of stuff, that stuff makes, machine guns, men in uniforms, just me, my mom and my sister, that kind of stuff, that stuff makes you feel, you never forget that stuff.

Don't you think that that also sort of imparted that nomadic thing that you have going on? Well, you could like live anywhere. Fuck yes. You could pull up right now. What? Like Brian is like one of the only dudes that I know where I could say, Hey man,

I got a place in New Mexico. You want to move there with me? Yeah. Okay. If you didn't have a family. No problem. You would pull up your shit and go anywhere. I don't make attachments, bro.

At all. I'd be like, what do you need to bring? My clothes? Let's go. Let's get out of here. I remember when you didn't have a doorknob. He didn't have a fucking doorknob. Some people say, oh, the guy keeps his door open all the time.

His door's never locked. No, no, no. He didn't have a fucking doorknob. I some people say oh he guy keeps his door open all the time he's never his door's never locked no no no he didn't have a fucking door i got nothing you could steal i would go over his house and i would go bro you don't have a doorknob like i go open i can get on my knees and i can look through your fucking door hole how about in venice when the woman was i tell you cooking breakfast cooking you got it going on honey she's making a meal at my stove the cops where you want to press charges i was like no a homeless person just walked in i was like that was the same place yeah that was the same place where you didn't have a doorknob yep yep he was in venice completely ridiculous what are you gonna steal my tv i don't care yeah you would just you could always abandon shit whatever but do you do

you think that's why like you don't appreciate nice shit like you don't even appreciate like a nice car like you know You make good money. You can get one of those sweet new Cadillacs or something like that. I can get a Tesla if I want it. I looked at the numbers. Comfy to drive around. I've always had a sense of guilt partially because I grew up in countries where people had nothing. I remember seeing somebody with leprosy and no foot in Yemen going through the marketplaces.

When you're a white kid and and the math falls in your favor for no fucking reason you you don't think that you're god's favorite you just as a kid i couldn't navigate or understand why i saw like kids coming up to us starving in india and in pakistan asking for food dirty and i had everything that doesn't make sense that doesn't make you feel good as a kid especially not someone like me i had the imagination or whatever it was to kind of go i got lucky because the math fell in my favor i did zero to deserve this and that that creates two things guilt and shame i think right um and i never lost that i never lost that i still feel that way that's fascinating i hate having people come work at my house like if if they're

doing work in my house and i go out of my way to make sure that they you know feel like i'm the same as they are i don't like being i'd be terrible i'd be a terrible king i feel i find it very uncomfortable uh all that stuff anyway yeah no i hear you that might be why my father laughed at me one time he came to visit me and my father grew up poor and he was laughing he goes what's with this car i was driving some terrible ford and it was really dirty and he's like you know i i can afford to buy you a lexus if you want it would you want one of those i was like no i never thought of that first of all i don't want somebody else getting it for me second of all it just didn't it wouldn't make an impact in my life you know right right and i respect though like brendan brendan shub grew up with not a lot of money.

So nice things to him, nice clothes, nice car, they mean a lot. They remind him that he's not what he used to be. Struggling anymore. Yeah, man. So I've always respected the idea of limited materialism. I understand where it comes from. I also think it depends on what you're turned on by. I'm more interested in...

Somebody said, this woman who wrote this book said, I had all these experiences. She went to study, worked with the KGB as an interpreter and then went to the Antarctic and then went to India. She said, I was doing nothing. I had all these experiences but my brain wasn't changing. I needed to figure out how to change my mind.

She had failed math in high school, but she was looking. She was in the military, and she was watching all these engineers solve problems in this beautiful way, but it looked like hieroglyphics. And she goes, wait a minute. If I can learn how to do this, then I'll change the way my brain works. And she talks about it a lot, and she became a professor of engineering. But, you know, I think I'm more interested. Maybe it depends on what you're more turned on by i'm really fascinated with changing who i am in a way

maybe the way i think what are you trying to be um just just continue to be as original and as creative as i can be that's all that's my thing and you can't have a tesla in that i can i want to get a tesla i think I'm going to. I'm waiting for my Passat, my turbo diesel Passat lease to run out. This is just devil's advocate. Yeah. But people that make good money and then don't buy nice things, what is the fucking point of making good money? I agree.

Someone who is poor, who looks at you, would be like, hey, dummy. But I have a nice house. You're part of, you know, we talked about this yesterday, the 1% of the world, more than $34,000 a year. It's just nuts. That's the world. I know how lucky I am. Do you know how crazy that is?

Yeah. And I buy nice things. I mean, I have a nice house and all that. Believe me, I'm not like some Spartan. I'm not saying you are. Yeah. But what I'm saying is. Get a Tesla.

That's what you're saying. What I'm saying is people that make a ton of money and then don't buy nice things, that's one look. Like, hey, man, you're the guy who has the opportunity to make a bunch of money and buy nice things. But then there's the other point of view. It's like, okay, well, what are you- You'd hear about Warren Buffett lives in a regular neighborhood and he's got a fucking $100 billion.

Yeah, that that becomes its own form of affectation right if he's gonna live in a regular neighborhood how about you give away eight billion yeah you ain't even gonna use it yes it's just sitting there in your 90 correct and i'm sure there's a lot of like philanthropic adventures that he invests money in i'm sure he spends a lot of money on other things but i'm saying like what level do you think you're supposed to give back like are you supposed to give to charity are you supposed to be nice to your fellow humans it's it's what i've been writing about the other i've been writing about the idea that you know this this idea that i've not done anything bad enough to go to hell but i feel like i haven't done anything

good enough to go to i'm definitely not sitting anywhere close to mother theresa if she's in heaven you know i just feel like there's a lot more heaven and hell in other words in other words in other words there's a lot more i could be doing to give to charity like i'm literary i'm yes i'm being literary i'm being i'm being deep i'm being spiritual right but i do feel like i should be given more in some ways of charity but then i think to myself i'm doing exactly what i was put on the earth to do which is make people laugh and that takes a lot of work and stop right there isn't that just justifying like the uncomfortable nature of that discussion maybe i don't like this podcast i think about it maybe i'm just fucking awesome and i'm here to be awesome then again i just rather be an awesome no because i spent a lot of money on wine and have a good time yeah but that's not what

you were saying you're saying like i should i feel like maybe should i give more to charity and what does that mean okay first of all here's the the difference. Here's how you delineate. So if I could give to charity, and there's a lot of definitions. Is charity, going back to what we were talking about, is charity what people need or do they need inspiration? So how do you create inspiration? So giving money to certain causes. Why is it an or? I don't know.

Why is it an or? I'm just wondering if I could do, if I could make a big difference. There's a school in, you know, Haiti or something I'm sure could use some money, right? Right. Okay. All right.

I could give to that school. And I do. I do have charities I give to. I give to Doctors Without Borders. I give to Operation Smile. At different things. I got my own individual people people have a hard time when they give charity and they find out how much money goes

to administrative costs fucking drives me crazy fucking i think the united way what was it what they say out of a dollar a penny actually goes to the charity the rest is run the whole fucking thing it's a whole bureaucracy they got to run it's a business it drives me crazy it drives me crazy that one penny does go to the starving kids. Yeah. Well, go fuck yourself because I want my dollar. What do you think the number is? Pull up the number.

Find out how much. Which organization was it? United Way. United Way. See how much of your money actually goes. I believe it's a penny. I believe it's a hundredth of your money. I'm going to get crazy and say it's 20 cents.

20 cents out of a dollar. Okay. You think it's really a penny? Used to be. God. I'm going to get a special on it. I'd say it's 47. 40 cents? I don't think it's 20 cents. 20 cents out of a dollar. Okay. You think it's really a penny? Used to be. I did a special on it. I'd say it's 47. 40 cents? I don't think it's that high.

I bet it's less than 40 cents. It's a huge company. Okay, I say 20, you say 1. Brian says 40. 47. Is it 47? No, no. Oh, you're saying 47.

I'm looking for it. I'd be like, that's pretty efficient. I love the internet that we get the answers to all these things. Instantly. When he's Googling it, though, sometimes not so much. not so much sometimes not sometimes shit gets a little confagulated there are there are really good charities out there that make a difference well the thing is here's the the question should someone running a charity make a salary of course they should yes but should they make a salary relative to what people make in america or the third world country where they're

aiding that's when shit gets weird because if it's the third world country where they're aiding that's when shit gets weird because if it's the third world country that they're aiding well they're gonna be bitter as shit yeah they're working their whole life away and they can't even fucking put a roof over their head and feed themselves normally yeah so it should be like an american salary i would imagine but if it's an american salary for a professional like what is that is it 100 grand is it 50 grand is it 35 grand Is it $100,000? Is it $50,000? Is it $35,000? What's the answer? Okay, United Way. Well, this is United Way of Topeka. So I'm guessing this is a good example of what United Way, I guess a different local, withholds 20%.

Withholds? What do you mean? Withholds 20% of what you give. So they only take... Hold on. 22%. 22%. Okay. I just googled what percentage... Where does United Way charity go?

Right here. United Way withholds 22% from 2012 designations. Yeah, I think they got exposed and they made a change because they ran a special a long time ago about a shock. Okay, here it is. Worldwide United Way claimed combined administrative and fundraising expenses in 2011 of 17%, meaning that they spend approximately 17 cents for every dollar donated on organizational costs.

But the other 83 cents go directly towards community projects. That's awesome. That's pretty good. So United Way is not a good example they used to be there was this they did a whole expose on them and and it was shocking i think they changed well maybe we should google that what percentage of money goes to charity let's let's just google that of money like what's the worst yeah what we think the worst But I think that's really good. I mean, if they can, 17%. Wasn't, like, the Jerry Lewis thing a brutal one?

I don't know. The muscular dystrophy? Yeah, I don't know about that. Okay, what percentage of, let's Google that. What was that telethon called? Jerry Lewis telethon. Jerry's kids. Jerry's kids.

Jerry's kids. Jerry Lewis Telethon. Jerry's Kids. Jerry's Kids. Jerry Lewis Charity Telethon. Okay, guess this. What do you guess? What percentage? Okay. I would say, I don't know. I would say, I would say high percentage.

I would say 80% goes to the kids. America's 50th worst charities rake in nearly $1 billion for corporate fundraisers. Wow. There you go. Wow. Which may not necessarily be bad if they motivate people to get even more money. Yeah, well, look, there's a certain amount of money that they would never get if it wasn't for those things. Yeah.

Like someone was talking about the Ice Bucket Challenge. The Ice Bucket Challenge is stupid as fuck, but it's raised a ridiculous amount of money. Most people who are doing it, they're not even donating money. They're just throwing water in their head. But the amount of people that have donated, it's pretty substantial. It's millions, millions of dollars, much more than they had last year. ALS sucks. I'm sure. i'm sure you know they don't even think that lou gehrig had lou gehrig's disease and that's strange

why because he just got hit in the head yeah i think it's trauma related he was ko'd so many times while playing uh baseball sliding into people and shit playing hard baseball and he played football i believe look at this joe 50 worst uh charities ranked by money blown on soliciting costs number one kids wish network total raised a 1.127 million paid 109 million so 2.5 percent well no paid to solicitors now spent on direct cash aid so solicitors that means like advertising right is that what that means what does paid to solicitors mean? Well, percentage spent on direct cash aid looks like 2.5%, 0.9%, 10.8%. You used to work for a bank.

You can't figure this shit out? No. Well, what does solicitors mean? What is solicitors? What's the definition of solicitor? I would imagine it's people that are paying, that are selling, that are somehow going out there and raising the money.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So this is paid to, like, spent on getting the money. Yeah. So lawyers. No, people who go out and actually raise the funds. Well, a solicitor is a legal practitioner. This is the actual definition. Solicitor is a legal practitioner who traditionally deals

with any legal matter in court in some jurisdictions. Solicitation also means someone who sells. Right. It means solicitating prostitute. Yes, but solicitors are people that are the actual fundraisers, though, in this context, I believe. But isn't that someone who's buying? No, it's somebody who's doing the fundraising. So they're essentially going out there, I believe.

What happens if you solicit a prostitute, though? Doesn't that mean you're trying to pay for the prostitute? So that's a solicitor, right? So no solicitation. No trying to sell me anything around here. So saying like Kids Wish Network has five employees. It's paying them

and then they're only paying 2.5% to the actual direct cash aid for this example. So only 2.5% to the actual direct cash aid for this. So only 2.5% of their money. Right. Percentage spent on direct cash aid. Amazing. 2.5%.

That's insane. What's the other one? 0.9% for the Cancer Fund of America. That's insane. Less than 1%? Children's Wits Foundation. These are all like takeoffs on the other charities and they're all scams. That's so dirty.

American Breast Cancer Foundation. Not Associates. Firefighters Charitable Foundation. Look at that one. Look at that one. Union of Police Officers. Union of Police Associates. Look at that.

Less than half of a percent. Yeah, that's a scam, man. Oh, wait. There's one that's zero percent. Look at this. Operation Lookout National Center for Missing Youth. Zero percent. Wow. Oh, wait. There's one that's 0%. Look at this. Operation Lookout National Center for Missing Youth. 0%. Wow.

Oh, my God. That's insane. But how does that work? It says 19.6 million and 16.1. Oh, you know what that is? That's just like rent and shit. Operation Lookout. So the 15 million is paid out to people.

The rest is bills. Fuck, man. How is that allowed to be? We live in a dirty world the world's dirty the veterans fund that's so creepy that there's charities that are that far off less than a percent committee for missing children we thought what did i guess i guess 20 you guessed one yeah there you go and there's some that are a half of a one there you go that's why that's why you gotta be careful what charities you give to.

And I think United Way, they did this thing, and they were like, how much of your money is actually going there back in the day? I think it was United Way. How about the charity when they're at the airport and they have the open bucket? Oh, forget it. And they want cash. I don't know who you are. There's a plastic hole in an open bucket, and around the bucket is photographs of kids.

Yeah. And then there's like something, and they have a clipboard. I don't know who you are. Sorry. Yeah. This lady came up to me at the airport once she was super aggressive about it and i said get the fuck out of here with that scam and she goes fuck you motherfucker i go that's what i was hoping for yeah i go that's what i want to hear i go you're in you're involved in a charitable organization right she's like fuck you bitch i go you're involved in a charitable organization

you're not going to dip into that and take, well, you're a reputable person. Fuck you, bitch. There you go. She could have hit me. It was pretty close. She could have definitely hit me. That's so great. I was tired, man. I just landed, you know, working.

And then someone, like, she was aggressive about it, too. It was like, she was like, you know, sir, would you please donate to help? You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I'm looking at her and I'm like, I smell danger all over you. You don't seem like a charitable person. Liar. But you could just show up with a clipboard and a bucket and some logo on the bucket. And you get people to give you cash just to leave you the fuck alone.

Well, a lot of airports cut down on that. They should. The Hare Krishnas used to always come up to you at airports. Yeah, but they're wackos. You look at them. What's with your haircut, Tong Po? Get the fuck out of here. I'm not giving you any money.

You're crazy. You're wearing sandals and you're a man. What are you doing? You're not even like a surfer. And a saffron robe. The whole thing is a mess. You smell weird. Get out.

Get out. You smell like curry. Run. You're American. I don't want to be like you. I don't want to be near you. And I don't want to give you any money to support this thing that you're doing. Well, they would sell you books.

Get the fuck out of here with your books. The Bhagavad Gita. Get the fuck out of here with that book. Come on, it's the truth, bro. It's about. Fuck out of here with your books. The Bhagavad Gita. Get the fuck out of here with that book. Come on, it's the truth, bro. It's about an epic battle. I would love to buy the Bhagavad Gita. Love to, but not from some dirty hippie. I'm going to go to a nice store with a nice person who sells books.

They could tell me about it. There's some beautiful fucking versions of that. It's funny how you don't see them anymore. Like Hare Krishna. The internet. Yeah. The internet smoked them out. That's it.

They're like, what are we doing? Everybody thinks we're stupid. Even Scientologists make fun of them. Everybody, Hare Krishna is at the bottom end of the poll. Yeah, man. Yeah, everybody goofs on them. Duncan can do the whole chant. Vegetarians.

Was he of Hare Krishna? No, but he's really involved in studying religions and studied them his whole life. He can do long Buddhist chants, but long Hare Krishna chants. Or Angang Chor. Yeah, he does all that shit. He can do it, and it sounds like one of those monks in those hollow, echoing monasteries. I remember reading so much about Zen Buddhism and Buddhism. I've read every book I could get my hands on on Buddhism.

I was just like, this is the answer. Maybe it is, but I just somehow got too busy. I don't think there's any answer. Yeah. Because in the end, everybody dies. That's for damn sure. There's no answer. This is what it is.

How much are you enjoying this and how much are you enjoying being around others who are enjoying it and helping each other out and having a good time? Because other than that what what else is there is there a deep meaning if everything's temporary it doesn't seem like there could be it seems like you're a part of some sort of weird evolutionary process that will go on as long as life is allowed to exist on this planet which is very finite the planet itself only has a like 1.6 billion years of life left do you think though that you know that if it goes more than that the sun's gonna burst yeah it's done the sun runs out of juice but do you think that there is some

there is a either movement toward each other or a movement towards something or do you think it's all random it's hard question who the fuck no no the fuck no one knows no one i mean it might it might not be what What about human progress? Do you think we've been progressing? Yes. Yeah. We're definitely, when there's steps back, like when we talk about people being PC and all that stuff, I think it's terrible, but it's way better than being racist.

It's way better than, the PC shit is way better than segregated where the blacks have to sit in the back of the bus and use a different water cooler. This is way better. So that to me is clear example but then there's also drones and spying and crazy shit and people are still getting locked up there's new challenges crazy drug laws and then there's private prisons there's corporate interests and there's fucking this this goldman sachs thing that came out the the, the tapes that are now being released of the Fed in coercion with Goldman Sachs. I mean, all the different shit that's going on where you see that there's still corruption. There's still evil.

There's still just misdirected energy, incorrect patterns of behavior that have led to people to operate in the same type of momentum that the fucking knucklehead traders before them have done and the fucking military industrial complex guys from the 60s did. It's all the same kind of, that energy hasn't been flushed out of the system yet. But it seems like it's slowly getting pushed into a corner. Or at least it's harder to hide. See what the fuck is going on in Hong Kong? Yeah.

Dude. Brian, pull up the photos. There's a drone video of the protest in Hong Kong. into a corner or at least it's harder to hide see what the fuck is going on in hong kong yeah dude yeah brian pull up the photos there's a drone video of the protest in hong kong yeah holy shit yeah it's an island of seven million that actually want their want to be able to choose who governs them can you imagine that dude there's a lot of fucking people i know a lot of people they're also bordered there's also 1.3 billion people on on their border and They don't feel they don't want to be part of China the mainland Well, they used to not be until fairly recently. I used to be controlled by the United Kingdom, right? I look at this fucking video though. There's gonna freak you out because they're flying over they by the way

It's amazing that they can do that. Now. You could just like a regular person can get a drone crazy I'm just an aerial view When we did that sci-fi show dude I put on these goggles Like these VR goggles And they put a camera On this drone And then flew the drone

Over the treetops And I was like watching From the drone's perspective I was like oh my We couldn't put it in the episode Because we just didn't have enough time But I was like I'm flying

It was amazing. So sick. Dude, it was amazing. They attached a camera to an eagle. But I'm telling you, it felt like I was flying. Really? Like when I had these VR goggles on. Wow.

I had VR goggles on. This thing is flying through trees and stuff. And you're watching like, whoa. How much would that cost to buy? Probably a lot. And they don't go very far. Like after a mile, it doesn't transmit. Like the signal, whatever type of signal it is.

So what? So look at this. This is the crowd. And this is them filming this by drone. Unbelievable. Dude, they've shut down the city. This is incredible. Look at that.

Look at that. That's a million people, right? At least. I don't know. I don't that's a million people right at least i don't know i don't know what a lot looks like i think there are seven million that's like 300 people bro crazy that's like uh nick's comedy stop it's packed that's it's like a joe rogan concert look at that look how many fucking people it's like ants on rice noodle and what year were were they united kingdom it was until like the i think the least went out the least ran out in um gosh 1990 2000 2001 1997 what was it i think it was 97 maybe or was it later they're bracing both sides brace for wednesday showdown oh fuck are they gonna go world war three in hong kong too well i don't think nobody wants that they don't want the

people's liberation army and the you know coming into people's liberation army the people they're calling i think yeah that's what the chinese i think that's what the chinese call their army but they don't want the they don't want the chinese military to come in and get unpleasant that's for damn sure. They're asking for what I believe is named, they call him the chairman, the person that was put in power by China to step down, and they want elections to vote in their own person. And China's saying, hey, we're kind of running your country.

Well, you know, for China... Is it considered a country or is it considered it's considered a province and part of china mainland china and um i think that for the longest time remember that hong kong was the sort of the financial capital of that part of the world but shanghai now has taken over and a lot of other cities have taken over as the they're richer uh in and so it's a it's a complicated thing because a lot of mainland chinese come in and vacation in hong kong um so they're pretty dependent on each other look at this photo of this kid shining his fucking flashlights they're all

shining the lights from their cell phones it's really creepy it's on usa to do that usa today's coverage it's one of the the larger photographs there's millions of kids and they all decided to turn their their cell phone lights on and they're holding them up in solidarity and it's kind of symbolic well china also apparently the government of china is really worried is really worried that if if they're if they don't handle this yeah if they don't handle this properly, there are a lot of cities in China that could do the same thing in asking for changes in how the country is governed. So China is being very, very cautious about how they treat this particular protest. Yeah, they could fuck this up and lose everything. Yes, because if it gets too successful, there are a lot of things.

Dude, look at That fucking picture! There's a lot of unrest in China. Not just Hong Kong. When did Hong Kong become a part of China? I think it was during the opium trade, wasn't it? They sold it back to them in... 97? Yeah.

And it was annexed by the British. It was annexed by the British, I think 100 years before that. So it hasn't even been 20 years. Right. So they're just still trying to work it out. I mean, think about 20 years ago. Was that like Clinton days? Yeah.

97? That was Clinton, right? Yeah. 97, Clinton was president. Imagine that. Like if Clinton leaves and then all of a sudden China takes over the U.S. We're like, what? Yeah. That's kind of the same sort of thing if they were under rule of the united kingdom that's really similar to like the being america or canada absolutely it is it

was really hard for the for for and also remember in hong kong they speak cantonese they don't speak mandarin most of mainland china is mostly uh mandarin and they speak a very different language in hong kong they speak mostly they do speak mandarin but they also mainly speak cantonese very very different form of chinese and it was a capitalist system a very wealthy area and the big fear was that when the politburo in china took over that they would impose communist you know market laws and things like that but i think they kind of left them alone for a while and then and now hong kong's economy is very tied up with mainland china's economy what a mess it's just weird when you see a situation like that where you know something's gonna happen and we're watching it from afar from way the fuck over here in california and we're like what is gonna happen over there well the question is is china going to allow

them to behave like a separate and independent province because they they are not according to china and a chinese law that's the issue so then what do you do what do you do well then you got to realize that the people in the military themselves other than the few people that are running it there's going to be a certain point in time where if there's riots everywhere, if the entire country goes topsy-turvy over this, if they all start emulating what's going on in Hong Kong, there's A, not enough soldiers to cover them all because there's a billion goddamn people, and B, it would be soldiers turning their guns on their own people. These are regular folks, just like the soldiers in America.

I mean, it's one of the weirdest things about people that don't want to support the troops, like the idea that, you know, I don't support war, so I don't want to support the troops. Troops are just people. And they might be the only thing, and their love of regular people might be the only thing that protects a really tyrannical government from turning their guns on the people themselves because they can't do that if the people holding the guns refuse somewhere down the chain if i mean where they say no they say no in general they say that john adams lost the election to thomas jefferson because he had a standing army and one of the things that you know the founding fathers

warned against was a standing army why because a standing army can be hijacked by a charismatic uh dictator and then they can they can stage a coup so that was always that was oh it didn't sit well for a long time with americans especially with the way this country was founded the idea of a standing army had always been abused exactly that's why we feel it's okay to go after someone if they have their own army that's right like the waco guy like the waco guy david koresh he got very little sympathy in this country even though they essentially went in and firebombed these people killed kids shot people down there was fucking very clear images of sherman tanks blowing fire into these fucking buildings but But we knew they had guns.

Yeah. That's the only thing we knew. We knew that we heard that he fucked kids. That was the thing, right? But, by the way, that is exactly what I would say if I was going to fucking run some tanks into some dude's house. That guy's in there fucking kids. We've got to go kill those kids.

It was ATF anyway. It was ATF. It was also basically about the fact that he had all this sort of a weapon, an arsenal. But think about the ultimate irony. We're going to save those kids by killing them all. Yeah. I mean, they killed everybody. I think they let some kids out at one point in time.

Yeah, some of them got out, but a lot of them got burned, and it was terrible. There's a documentary about it that was kind of jaw-dropping. Well, the documentary was highlighting the use of force, and that was like one of the first times where we saw like real military force being used on some civilians and and and the good news is that you should you know a lot of people there was a documentary made out of it and a lot of people were pretty outraged by it but yeah maybe not enough hicks had a whole bit on it hicks had a whole bit on it it was uh it was pretty fucking crazy it was just most people didn't see it because there was no fucking internet back then it wasn't like today if they did some waco shit today and

we saw them driving over buildings and blowing fire into these buildings pull up the video of waco pull up the video what are you doing you checking your facebook you fuck look at those look at the look at what happened with ferguson that this black kid was shot i mean the whole town went crazy. Things are different now. It's different. It's not that easy to just get away with shit anymore. I also think, though, like I was thinking about Russia and how outdated.

Like they're calling the ruble, the currency, the rubble now because it's just like it's just not worth anything. It's a one-crop economy. That's very clever. It's very clever. I like the play on the wood. But it's a one-crop economy. So Russia, the motto is basically, might makes right.

All the guys with guns control everything. Guess what? So now you got commodities. You got oil that you export. And I guess some weaponry. Look at this. This is crazy. This is in the 1990s.

This is a goddamn tank tearing apart a house. Yep. This is a tank in Americaica going into this quote-unquote cult and because they had gotten into a firefight with these people because the atf shot at them the atf they were like on the roofs and shit it's a really crazy documentary one of the guys the atf guy inside was shooting out the door at atf people outside and they were making they were blasting um i guess music and stuff to make them crazy and noise.

Did they do that with these guys too? Yeah. That's a common tactic. Why is the music playing? I was thinking if that was the music. I hope that's not the music. Is it? Is that really?

That's the music that goes with the video. Not that appropriate. That's going to get us pulled off of YouTube. That's what that music goes with the video battles. Yeah, we'll kill that. That's going to get us pulled off of YouTube. That's what that music is. This is ridiculous. I mean, to see tanks being used on civilians, helicopters and shit. Oh, damn, it's about to blow up.

Okay, but then if you look at it from the other hand, look at this, bananas. Jesus. Look how fast that thing starts blowing. If you look at it from the other side, if you've got a group of people that are in this house and they're shooting at federal agents, what do you do? Do you do this? That's so bad.

Do you do this? Do you wait them out? Do you wait for them to starve themselves? You don't set them on fire. You don't do that. No, you definitely don't. Especially when kids are in there. So what do you do?

So the question was, I think the idea was floated that they started to fire themselves within the compound and the atf did not and and yeah but that's not true well that's not true they did they did this shit with with tanks well the aerial view of the tanks suggest something different i don't know what is the aerial view of the tank suggest dr fox news well it suggests it suggests in fact they're using flamethrower uh they'd use flamethrowers dude okay let's let's google use of flame i mean i thought that was pretty established use of flamethrowers in wake well from the documentary they said it you know the the big question was was it started inside the compound was the fire started by the waco cult members or by the ATF?

Hidden Waco footage. Tanks used flamethrowers. And there's a link, and you can go to the YouTube video. And the YouTube video is unavailable. Interesting. Proves it's bullshit. Waco tank flamethrower on YouTube. A second hole is made in the side of the building.

And a third hole is made at the front door. This sounds like some chemtrail shit. It's the thing when you read the internet, you don't know. Hmm. Watch carefully as the tank backs out of the house Watch carefully as the tank backs out of the house You can see that this tank has a gas jet on the front that shoots fire Oh, that is true Google Waco tank flamethrower That is pretty fucked up, Brian

I think this is going to turn you over You're going to be working for CNN next I don't know, you guys You're going to be in Ted Turner's back pocket Fox News is going to fucking fire you Yeah You're going to go dark on this. You're going to be in Ted Turner's back pocket. Fox News is going to fucking fire you. Yeah. You're going to go dark on this one. You're going to go left wing.

All I know is I got my deer tags, my friend. I got my deer tags, too. Here, watch this. And a third hole is made at the front door. Go towards where the E is on experience. What these tanks are doing in each picture is collapsing the inside stairwell. Okay, here, it's good. Keep going.

The following footage proves beyond any any doubt, that the tanks intentionally set the house on fire. It proves that the Branch Davidians were murdered. Watch carefully as the tank backs out of the house. You can see that this tank has a gas jet on the front that shoots

fire. You can also see the fire quite plainly. The tank goes into the house twice and each time as it backs out the fire at the gas jets is plainly visible oh yeah dude they lit that house on fire whoa where are you at now fox news um what do you think man i think they lit that house on fire what do you think i don't like fox news i'll tell you that much uh i would i don't know i i believe i believe uh that they set that house on fire. What do you think? I don't like Fox News. I'll tell you that much. I don't know. I believe that they set that house on fire. I don't have any doubt.

You get those guys who geared up. They got shot at. Some of the guys got shot. Men are men. They're going to be vindictive. They're going to do whatever they can. Well, they're also soldiers, and they'd be given an enemy. You know that old expression?

That's exactly right. If you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Like a nail, yeah. Yeah. I don't have any doubt about that. Okay, but here's the question. What do you do? If you know that there's a group that's holed up and they have a bunch of weapons, I'm not

saying you set the place on fire and kill the kids, but I'm saying what? How do you handle that? How do you? You got a guy who's shooting at federal agents, allegedly. There is the reality that agents accidentally- After they were being broken into. Agents accidentally shot at themselves. That is a fact.

You can also hear the guy say, I have a right to defend myself. Yes. As they're breaking in, he shoots. So a lot of it was he was in his home. People were coming in. He didn't know who was coming into his house. They had guns. You know, you can make an argument for a lot of this stuff.

Oh, yeah. What do you do in that situation? What do you do? I suppose the first thing you should think about is there are two things. One is, are children being abused? Two is, does he have an illegal arsenal? So if those are the two cases, you get a search warrant. They tried to get in.

They were denied access. The rest is a standoff. I don't know. That comes down to police tactics, right? Yeah. I mean, do you think that someone should be allowed to have a place like that? Like, if you believe that someone should be allowed to have a place like that like if you believe that people should be allowed to have guns like i have friends who have many guns my friend justin is like a legit bona fide gun nut yeah he didn't even know how many guns he

has now what if justin got together with 50 of his friends and they're all like him, and they rented a big fucking piece of land, or they bought a big piece of land together, put a few houses up, and then put a fence around it. I think I'm fine with that. Right. Because I believe in freedom of assembly. Right. But what is that?

You've got a highly armed compound of a bunch of gun nuts. It still falls within the confines of the law. Now, if they have fully automatic machine guns, turret guns, and rockets, you're going to go, hold on, do you guys have a license for those? And, you know, there are a whole lot of measures. And then you'd have to take steps to make sure that you don't have an army with a bunch of illegal weapons. There's a reason there are some weapons that are, nothing's illegal if you have a license for it. Right. Do you know the thing that Koresh shot himself or was shot by his uh his people

really yeah they think he was shot before he um yeah koresh and about two dozen others shot themselves to death or were shot before the fire engulfed the entire compound others died in the fire or the rubble of the collapsing building. Jesus. Whoa. That's dark. Here's the shootout. Yeah. I mean, they were fucking armed to the tits. God, this is crazy. Watch this.

So look. Dude's shooting through the wall. Psst. They shot each other. Ouch. So the agents went in. They're shooting. They shot through the walls and shot their own agents.

Fucking A, man. 16 wounded. Four dead. That's a blood debt. that's a blood debt that's a blood debt right there with those guys good luck

now you're in a war you want to mess around with those kind of guys who gear up who are already tough and that's their job and you killed 4 of their friends

I wouldn't be too sympathetic either at that point if I was one of those guys right but devil's advocate this is not my feelings on this

I don't have formed feelings on this I don't either, by the way. But those guys broke into these people's houses for what reason? Apparently, he was in violation, I think, of two things. Weapons, illegal weapons, caches or whatever. And also, I think there was a warrant for the fact that he was having sex with underage girls. Yeah, child endangerment.

Yeah, child endangerment. Which is kind of legit if he's running a cult. Of course it is. My friend used to date this chick who grew up in a cult, and he said that she would tell him horrible fucking stories. That's why a lot of guys start cults. So they can get pussy. Yeah.

Well, didn't Koresh, like, had a deal where he could bang everybody's wife? If he was smart. Yeah. That was his thing. His thing is he could bang everybody's wife. You can be in my cult. Here's the only catch, 22. Don't they always do that, though?

Everybody. Jim Jones probably banged everybody's wife, too. Listen, man. We're all one people. It's all about love. I am the alpha male. I don't know what that's what he's saying. I think he was saying he's God, bro.

All right. Well, there's also that. They all look the same. Like him, the Australian Jesus. You can put them side by side. And they're interchangeable. he's god bro all right well there's also that they all look the same like him the australian jesus you can put them side by side and they're like interchangeable they're these weird that guy's great trussell australian yeah duncan looks too too wild australian jesus is so lame he's just like i'm jesus well no he's lamer than lame because he's told two different chicks that they're mary like his game is he tells a chick that you're Mary, that I'm Jesus and you're Mary.

Like, oh, get the fuck out of here. Dumb and superstitious. To my type. If you watch the documentary, well, he's not dumb. He's pretty clever. Right. I'm saying they are. But the poor girl, he has this girl that's convinced that she's Mary

and she's crying and she's crying and she's talking about remembering him being on the cross. It's fucking madness. And then afterwards, he's being interviewed by the guy. The guy who was interviewing him was pretty slick. And he's like, didn't you tell another girl that she was married? He's like, yes, but I was wrong. See what I mean?

He plays shittiest excuse, like the shittiest way. Bro, I would have so much of a better way. I can lie right now and come up with a better idea. Yes, but wrong but it's even better than that he plays green day he's sitting there and he's playing a green day song he's incredible like you telling me that the australian jesus would be really in the green day yeah like i just kind of think there's got to be a better song for him i don't know he's got like six followers no he's got quite a few really devoted it's in queensland yeah they cry you can see them crying and he's got a giant compound and it's getting bigger yeah yeah there a lot of people are very worried about him really yes yes i mean he's a legit cult leader wow i mean he really has i mean it's an enormous

i just feel like it's a huge magnet for the dummies oh it is society so there's a lot of it's like it's like kind of like flypapermies in society. There's a lot of dummies. It's kind of like flypaper. It just sucks all the really dumb people in one area. It's fine. No, it's not. It's not because then they can take over. See, the thing about having a really big group of dumb people is it's a big group of people that are so dumb they don't even know they're dumb.

So there's no leaders. They're a giant group of people that are so dumb they don't even know they're dumb so there's no leaders they're a giant group of retarded followers yeah and they're chasing after a guy who's a fake jesus who likes green day i mean this is like the numbers that a guy like that can draw the reason why it's fucked up is because if you look at the whole population let's just go with america because i don't know how big australia is but if america's 300 million people what percent do you think are just so fucking dumb they almost can't think things through for themselves i'd say it's one percent that's all you need if you have one percent in america you have 3.5 million dummies that is a staggering number of dummies if you really laid it out like that if it's truly one

out of a hundred which is probably being super generous to the human race but if it really is one out of a hundred that's 3.5 million in this country alone yeah you don't need that many to start a good cult no shit yeah but what is that doing? Aren't they just kind of living the gospel? Sucking Jesus like dick. Right, there's a lot of sex. He's got a lot going on, man. He's got a big-ass place. How big is it?

He used to be an Australian IT specialist. But they're in Queensland. I mean, it's not like Queensland is, you know. He's got a big spot, dude. He's got several hundred acres. All due respect to everybody from Queensland, but whatever. I think he has like 600 acres or something up there. That's where they find the monster great whites. That's where they find great whites that are 22 feet that have a bite out of them from a bigger great white.

600 acres or something like that. There's Koresh. Let's see. They always have good hair. Look at Duncan Trussell. Koresh was actually a good looking guy. Yeah, Koresh wasn't bad looking no great hair scruff but they look similar if you look at him and then pull up the australian jesus no not charlie manson the australian jesus that guy looks very similar i'm gonna cut my hair for our hunting trip dude i'm looking at your head

you're gonna go crazy bring it'm bringing it down. Bring it down You guys are going tomorrow right? Yeah. Yeah, we're going. What time are we going tomorrow? Let's not advertise our fucking podcast Sorry about all that personal stuff this guy Yeah, he has 600 plus acres Chilling cult transcripts. Eh, whatever. That's a lot of fucking land. In Queenslandland but he looks so much look at him brian oh he looks so much like koresh oh he's handsome he's got sharp features maybe it is koresh but look at them maybe koresh escaped they both got that weird beard where they can't grow a man's

beard so they grow this fucking yes koresh might have gotten his nose sharpened. Could be him. And his hair straightened. I think that's Koresh. It's Duncan Trussell. Duncan Trussell. Duncan's more wild-eyed, I'm telling you. Yeah, he is. This guy's so silly. When he got into that, when Duncan got into that hell thing, when he was hanging out with the Church of Satan guy, though, that was hilarious. He makes it funny, though.

He does it for funny. I know, but it is funny. Remember when he did that show? For the wedding. Yeah, for which guy? Anton LaVey's son? Yeah. That was great.

It was hilarious. Hank III, Hank Williams Jr. Danzig. Junior Jr. Hank III played there. Yeah. Yeah, it was just all crazy chaos, man. Who's your favorite front man all time?

For what? Rock and roll. A band? Yep. I don't know. I never thought about it. What are we, in high school? Who's your favorite? What are we doing? Who do you think is the greatest? Who's your favorite front man all time? For what? Rock and roll. A band? Yep. I don't know. I never thought about it. What are we, in high school? Who's your favorite?

Who do you think is the greatest? Who's yours? You must have one. Otherwise, you wouldn't have started talking. Either Robert Plant or Freddie Mercury, but I'm not sure. I'm tossed up between the two. Yeah, Robert Plant's right up there. Yeah.

But nobody had Freddie Mercury's voice. Mick Jagger's right up there, too, though. Mick Jagger's up there, but the problem with the Stones, and no one's going to like to hear this. They don't write. They had a lot of shitty songs. And they haven't written a song in forever. But they had some fucking monsters.

They had a few monsters. But when you pick up their albums, there's a bunch of Zeppelin songs that no one talks about that are fucking phenomenal. You listen to them and you're like, oh, I forgot about this. This is still beautiful. And then you have some Stones to him you're like oh i forgot about this you know this is still a beautiful and then you have some stone song you're like what is this oh shut this

fucking thing off yeah i think i think zeppelin is the number one band yeah but didn't zeppelin steal a lot 13 songs they they didn't they didn't credit they didn't credit uh old either old-time folk songs or blues uh or musicians that they were influenced yeah i mean dazed and confused and that certain songs were i mean if you hear a direct ripoff and they never credited them we played that didn't we didn't we play the both of them back to back yeah there was a video that had uh all the old blues songs like the lyrics from them and then they made them a lot better though real... Made them a lot better, though. They did make them a lot better.

I mean, and a lot better. It just seems like those guys should have got something if they were still alive. And they did. They went back, and there was some... Settled out of court, but, you know... Did they Fox News?

Stop. Stop calling me Fox News. I hate Fox News. I'm really mad at Fox News. You would work for them. You could be like the Alan Combs, but more manly. You could be like the left-wing guy on Fox. I'd just be fair, man.

What if they made you wear a dress like those hot girls? You're not? I don't think they're fair. You don't think they're fair? No. I don't like getting my news from an ideological point of view. I'd rather get BBC. I listen to BBC. news from an ideological point of view i'd rather get bbc i listen to bbc do you think it's possible to have a news channel on television that's undefined it doesn't slant left it doesn't

slant right that at least was the model and that was i think the bbc in a lot of ways comes very close to it maybe i'm wrong yeah but not there i'm talking about here in good old U.S. of A. Yeah, I think it is. The land of the free, home of the brave. I think it is. In fact, one of the things that the guy, who was the guy

who ran 60 Minutes came in and said, good news and bad news. Good news is we got the highest rating of any news show ever. Bad news is we got the highest rating

of any news show ever. In other words, this just turned into a show that's dependent on ratings. Yeah. And that's why we're all going to get paid a lot more money.

Well, that's the infinite growth paradigm, right? It exists in corporations and it also dependent on ratings. And that's why we're all going to get paid a lot more money. Well, that's the infinite growth paradigm, right? It exists in corporations, and it also exists on shows. Fuck yeah, man. They want the ratings to go up. The ratings are up, up, up. Yeah, so whenever you... 100% of all Americans. When you see shit on ISIS and those guys are coming out...

That's Brian Callen. That's on a Fox show. That's him being a Fox show. Yeah, you're on Fox, you fucker. Ah, damn it! I hate Fox. You motherfuckers! You have sabotaged me!

Wait a minute. Here me I hate Fox News I don't know I don't know that was a morning show to promote my my stand up yeah that's not the same that's not real Fox

Fox damn it those local shows are the weirdest fucking form of show business yeah they are those local

morning shows in strange markets these local shows are the weirdest form of show business ever yeah some of them are great

yeah and some of them are so bad you can't believe this isn't a school play you're like i am on a school play with cameras on it well a lot of the journey a lot of them are just so bubbly and just it's just strange man just fake dude and some of them are so bad i went on one won't name the name um immediately guys first question was so um what was it like when phil hartman was killed oh no oh god and i just sort of i sort of blank faced him i go it was terrible like one one word answer like i'm gonna give you a one word answer for that i'm not gonna elaborate and expand but that's his opening question it's like you saw that video where mike tyson was talking to the guy in canada and the fucking opening statement the guy says

is this gonna hurt the mayor because you were you went to jail for rape you're a convicted rapist you're a convicted rapist yeah i couldn't believe that right away cheap shot what a shitty cheap shot that's people love doing that shit they love doing that shit i think mike tyson handled it appropriately he handled it the right way piece of shit so what's more stressful is dealing with a piece of shit like you i thought we'll be positive here but you'll be even you're a piece of shit yeah that dude was terrified he looked into the eyes of death yeah man and tyson didn't even fucking his heart didn't even skip a beat there wasn't like an extra beat to it everything stayed nice and calm change Change that guy.

He's probably wondering whether or not he should beat the shit out of this guy on the air. He's already cussing him down. He's not going to beat him up, but it's probably there floating around.

I'd be thinking that. Like if he just launched himself on this guy and just smashed his face in. It would feel so good for those brief seconds. How much time would he have to do? Too much.

Not worth it. Don't do it. It might make him more famous. Yeah. He would go to jail for sure. Yeah. Imagine Mike, well, he'd be in Canada. If he could him more famous. Yeah. He would go to jail for sure. Yeah. Imagine Mike. Well, he'd be in Canada.

If he could get across the border real quick, I doubt we'd extradite him. It's true, actually. Especially if the guy really did. If the guy moved at all in some sort of a threatening way. Called him a convicted rapist. If he could get the guy to raise his hands up. Just anything where it looks like the guy. I did one of those things after I'd done Hangover 2,

and they asked me about the experience, and I started talking about the ladyboys and how, you know, and it's a family show, and I started saying, look, I mean, I'm a straight man, but those ladyboys look very female. Man, did they get nervous. They changed the subject. And okay, well, we're not going to go there. Well, Brian Cannon will be at such and such tonight and tomorrow.

I was like, oh, geez, you you got to shut me down real quick. They live in a world of no fun. It's really strange. They live in a world of everything has to be like. Formal. All right. Let's go over here to the board and take a look at the weather. Well, what we've got here is a cold front moving in.

That same guy has to do everything. That same guy has to do Tom Cruise in a bit of a blow-up with matt lauer oh we'll tell you about it when we get back like who are you i know you don't exist in nature it's the strangest thing guys you just talk as though everything is just fantastic there's certain people that you know shouldn't exist in nature and they offend you they're they're offensive and that's a there's something about that they're like okay i'll let you read the news i'll let you i'll let you be the robot but if you fucking try to give your opinion as that robot well you know these days are different than when we were kids yeah

and a guy like ray rice should just know better like okay what do you just you just talked about some important shit and some weird fucking fake voice. I was just talking about that, about why I have a visceral kind of reaction to that kind of shit. And I wonder if it's maybe because, historically, those kind of dudes... Cockblockers. Well, they were also a liability, right? Fuck yeah. Like, you need somebody you can rely on when you go hunt for food or you gotta

go to battle or whatever it might be which was mankind's history i wonder if those kinds of people were always people you basically because when they talk that way they're not talking to you duplicitous characters i don't trust you you're not being you're not being real with me so i can't rely on you i think that's what it is i think that's what happens to me. Even when I see a guy who's dressed super cool, like there's a lot of time spent on, he's watching himself. I go, oh boy, I don't know, man. That looks good on you,

but I'm just having a problem with that necklace and that hat. You have too many rings on. You got too many rings on, man. I can't really talk to you. You're wearing like six rings. I can't talk to you. Can't ultimately be friends with you.

That's my problem. That character you can't trust. Like, that's Dr. Smith from Lost in Space, right? You can never count on Dr. Smith. Oh, dear Will. Dear Will. He would give you up. He would give you up to the aliens.

That's right. If the aliens were going to kill him, they're like, I'll tell you where they are. I'll tell you where they are. And you're like, Dr. Smith, you fuck. And the dad, who was always like rock solid with a square jaw, kept letting Dr. Smith in, this silly little homo. I let him back in. Dr. Smith was clearly gay. Never wanted to have anything to do with the wife.

He was alone with no women. He never flirted with her, never imagined what it would be like. He never said to him, you're married. There's no women out here in space. You've got the best woman on earth and there's nothing weird or creepy happened yeah he was clearly an untrustworthy gay man it's probably one of the most homophobic characters ever because he was so weak he wasn't he mean first of all he always watched the kids like the guy was always watching the kids while the the dad who was the fucking astronaut superhero was fucking saving the planet he was a hen he was sort of a hen yeah he was a hen and he was weak he was so weak he was clearly

gay the way he talked oh dear will he was just so weak yeah and clearly gay like it was such a homophobic character but that was the only way anybody would ever accept a character like that on television yeah he had to have he had to be feminized yeah yeah like if he was in that position and he couldn't be trusted but he was very masculine and and you know well if he's really masculine he'd be banging the astronaut's wife right you know or there would be a conflict well after a while you're not leaving an alpha male at home while you're going off on expeditions. No. Something's going to happen. Weird shit would happen.

Yeah. Yeah. Especially if the dude's untrustworthy. I mean, especially if you're in space. Like, you got no shot at getting back to civilization. How many seasons did they do? I don't know. After a couple of years, you got to realize this is, we're going to live out here on the moon for a fucking hundred years.

Yeah. This blows. And the kids, they have to fucking listen to this guy they're following around with them they have to go back dad daddy's lying yeah yeah that might start banging him having like any any sort of person in that sort of a like completely artificial way in your life. You let them in. It's like, oh, we let in some weird shit. Have you ever been out to dinner?

I know you have because you hang around with a bunch of idiots. Have you ever been out to dinner with a guy? That's such a rude thing to say. It's so true. I know you have. You're awesome. Listen, you know I love you. You're awesome, but you hang around with fucking dodo's.

It's such an aggressive thing to say. I've known Brian for so long that I know not to go over to his house when he'll tell me, like, sir, he's a good guy. He's just a little weird. He might be a mess or something. You come over his house for some party and you get stuck talking next to some loon. Like, oh, God. Brian, what are you doing hanging out with this guy?

I know, I know, I know. He wants to borrow money. What should I tell him? Tell him no. The fuck are you doing Hanging out with this guy I know I know I know He wants to borrow money What should I tell him Tell him no The fuck are you doing You'd always have like Some new person That you were hanging around with

Just a good waste of year Of my life Dude that producer That producer guy That you used to hang around with When I first started Hanging around with Brian He had this producer guy

That he hung around with And I remember like Some guy was like a writer Who was trying to like Make some things happen Meetings You don't need to name names You know i'm talking about i think african-american descent oh yes complete total hustler yeah and oh boy and i was like wait what who's how'd this guy get in yeah this guy's really close and i saw that oh man what did you do you kept hanging out

with always around me you you pitched shows with him? Oh, he loved me. Showed up drunk to a pitch. Yeah. I mean, drunk like... Well, that guy was a... He believed he was smart. He believed he was smart and slick, and he was going to pull it off. And he believed his smiles and his charm would mask the overall slickster, hustler bullshit that he had underneath.

But there was no substance. He would pitch ideas he'd be like what is this idea this dog shit idea you guys are gonna go out with he just was all like energy and he had found a way to integrate himself into hollywood you know and there's a bunch of those dudes man and you used to always have them around god there's so many some of those people in hollywood how many of those dudes did i tell you dude you need to get the fuck away from those guys well i think about how much time i would have saved if i didn't get involved with those dudes but then i'd probably find other dudes you know what i mean like like there would always be someone and i think it's a personality trait where i i would be pot you know it's almost like if you're like me maybe because you moved around so much you make friends really quickly and you see the good only.

And then you just, you're there to have a good time. And then slowly you go, oh, wait, you're a complete fucking, you're a liar or whatever you are. Well, you have, we have, you have great, ah, it saves so much time if I had your antenna. You're a genuine, you're a genuine, my antenna is not flawless, man. There's a dude that slipped through the wire. There's a couple of people that slipped through the wire. There's a couple people that slipped through the wire. One of them is that Rafael Torre guy.

I didn't really know him, though. I can't really. I don't know him. He was friends with Eddie Bravo. And he turned out to be a fake Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt. And he murdered some guy. He's in jail right now for murder. He murdered some guy.

He was banging the guy's wife. And then they had an insurance policy or something. And he killed the guy. Yeah. And was driving the guy's wife and then like they had an insurance policy or something and he killed the guy yeah and was driving the guy's car there's some crazy shit was going on but when i met him he didn't seem like a murderer to me man he seemed pretty fucking normal and i didn't ever see him do uh martial arts so i couldn't see like whether he's bullshit or not i just met him at like a king of the cage event and talked to him but then you find out the guy's like a murderer and now he's in jail for you're like what yeah how is okay shit maybe if i had a deal with him maybe i had something going on where you know we were involved in something together some business transaction or something maybe i could have seen the bullshit maybe but

those guys are slick that's their job but he wasn't that slick because i did eventually watch a video long after eddie had outed him eddie had told him like get the fuck out eddie figured out that he wasn't really a black belt this is before eddie was even a black belt eddie was like purple belt or a brown belt at the time it was before he beat hoyler it was long before that but we were um we were in the car once and eddie fucking broke him down over the phone while we were in the car. Really? Yeah, the guy kept trying to hustle, and Eddie goes, stop, stop, stop.

Are you a black belt in jiu-jitsu? I just need to hear this right now. Are you a black belt in jiu-jitsu? And there was this pause, and he would start some other nonsense. Well, my dad learned Japanese jiu-jitsu. Stop, stop, stop. Do you actually have a black belt in jiu-jitsu not your dad not who you trained with do you and he went there was like a silent moment and he goes i don't want to talk to you ever again okay you're a bullshit artist like you you you made me i

brought you around people you made me look bad like you're you're not being honest you're not you're not an honest person so after all that then i. So, after all that, then I saw a video of the dude working out. I saw a video of him doing, like, a spinning back kick on a pad. It's fucking comical. I mean, it's like someone showed him 20 minutes before. Wow. It was ridiculously bad. But he had a crazy story, this guy.

He was such a hustler, such a bullshit artist, that he turned up. He told this guy, I need you to give me a ride in the woods. I'm going to this no rules karate kumite, and I'm going to be gone for a couple days. So come back and get me, like around Saturday. So he has this big duffel bag with him, okay? This big fucking full duffel bag.

He takes it with him, and he goes off to this kumite. And then the guy comes back on Saturday, and now he's holding a trophy. Has the guy pick him up at the same spot. Says, yeah, I won this Kumite and beat everybody, and now I got a trophy. And the guy's like, you fucking had a duffel bag that was filled with this fucking trophy. Oh, no. And you went to the woods. He told me to come get you in two days.

So he probably walked home, took a nap ate some food went back up wait for the dude to pick him up you know and then yeah man i got the trophy i won you never know like my buddy mitch told me this crazy story he goes back to the high school reunion and one of the craziest dudes was this guy fitzy and fitzy used to like he'd get on a car and you drive 70 miles an hour he's holding on to it he was just crazy always the fun guy and he'd fight and get crazy so um and he was the sort of hometown crazy fun fucking nutty kid good kid right fun and crazy so mitch goes back to his high school reunion in tennessee and he says where the fuck is fitzy? And his cousin, Fitzy's cousin, goes, ah, bro, it's a bad story, man. And he goes, what do you mean?

He goes, Fitzy's in jail, man. And he goes, what are you fucking, for what? And he goes, ah, and everybody got weird. And he goes, he's just there for a while, and he's not coming out for a long time. What the fuck did he do? Well, it turns out Fitzy kept going to this Applebee's, and there was a waiter there. And the waiter would wait on him and Fitzy, and he became friends. And so one day, Fitzy said, let's go to the cornfields and smoke a joint and hang out and see what we can do.

Oh, no. They go to the smoke a joint, and Fitzy tries to and does rape him and then tries to kill him after raping him. A fight ensues. A fight ensues a fight ensues mr applebee's runs through the cornfield gets away and goes um the authorities please i was just uh raped and uh attempt to murder they tried to murder me he was all cut up and stuff and uh well fitzy's in jail now that's a weird thing trying to fuck a guy. Fucking kill a guy. It's not what you hear every day. Jesus Christ.

And hung out with the guy for a long time at Applebee's and befriended him and had actually planned the whole thing. Oh my God. So you never know, ladies and gentlemen. You never know how crazy somebody fucking is. Yeah, what the fuck? The fun guy. He's fun.

He was the fun guy. Hey, come on, buddy. Hey, Fitzy's here. He's gonna rock. He's gonna belly He was the fun guy. Hey, come on, buddy. Hey, Fitz is here. He's got a rock. He's got a belly flop off the high dive. Boom. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah.

Oh, my God. And now I'm going to fuck you. Oh, my God. Yeah. So, who knows? Who the fuck knows? Yeah. Those guys, when you grow up, too, like, you grow up in a neighborhood. There's like 50 dudes, whatever, that all kind of know each other.

Like, the potential for one fucking unbelievably crazy person is so strong. So strong, especially if you're in the city. Yeah. Have you ever seen that video of the kid who does a backflip off the top of a second-story building? No. Yep. Wild kid in the street. You know, there's always those wild kids

will try anything i have seen that this guy does and he makes it the first time and does it again oh i don't know about that yeah the one that i've seen i've only seen one when a guy makes it then he's hanging out in a diner afterwards and i was like how the fuck did you do that yeah he back backed his back to the edge and then just flipped flipped through the air landed and collapsed in the ground was fine it's one of the air landed and collapsed in the ground was fine it's one of the most incredible things it's the craziest shit i've ever seen did it for zero didn't do it for a nickel like i mean maybe he had a bet but whatever i don't know but it's the craziest thing i've ever i mean i remember that going oh that's the craziest thing i've seen that

shit that's what happens when people grow up together and one guy pushes another guy and the next thing you got a a Steve-O. You've got some crazy fuck. Like Steve-O, right? You've got some crazy fuck. Well, Johnny Knoxville is the most gnarly. They're all crazy. They're all crazy. But look, Steve-O was with lions.

He climbed a fucking tree, and the lions came up the tree, and they're swatting. They took his hat from him. Yeah. That is fucking crazy. But he talked about that, and that was a commercial he was doing. And he said, do they climb trees? No, don't worry. They don't climb trees. And when Steve

was up there, the lion climbed up the tree and got on top of him and Steve goes, well, I'm going to die now. And the trainer took a raw chicken and waved it at the lion and got him away. But Steve told the story. Whereas Johnny Knoxville will blindfold himself with a cigarette in his mouth and allow a bull

to run through him. I saw that. Oh, I haven't seen this one. Is this another kid? Five story. No fucking way. Into a pool. Into a pool. Oh, no way.

Why do I not want to see this? I don't either. It makes me so nervous. Is he going to die? It's not a new bombs world, though. Look at this. Oh my God. Oh my God.

That's a bad motherfucker. Oh my God. That's a bad motherfucker. Oh my god. That's a bad motherfucker. Oh my god. Please don't do that at home, you guys. Please don't do that, anybody. Maybe I'm old. Please don't do that.

That kid's crazy. Holy shit. What did it feel like when he was in the air? Like, what have I done? I don't know. I hope this worked. I hope this worked. Imagine what that felt like on his balls. Because feet hit and then your what's funny is he's not in the

air for that long you know it's so crazy like how how how fast you fall like do that again how many seconds was he in the air not very long don't watch it i'm not gonna watch it you can't it makes you squeamish your voice just got high i get super get super nervous. Don't, don't. I do too. I get so scared. When I used to do the Fear Factor stunts, and they'll be looking over the edge of some of the buildings these people had to crawl out on. I'm like, oh.

Is this another one? Oh, no, dude. What is this now? I don't know. Oh, no. Please stop it. Oh, my God. This guy's going to climb, or he's going to swing?

This is not good. I don't know, man. I just don't think I want to see this. Well, I do now mmm Why what's wrong with you because so? It's not even another country. You got to push yourself. This is a different language. This guy could die for sure Why are you doing that oh my god, oh my god Look at this again Why are you doing that? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Dude. That was close. Dude.

Look at this again. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. That's so crazy. He barely, barely made it. Look at that. What a jump, though. That's insane.

He missed by like a... I mean, inches. I don't even want to see that. Inches he would have smashed his knees apart. I have trouble sleeping with that. You know, that's an interesting thing. There was a study on why men do that. And they were trying to figure out what it is about men that makes them want to do like ridiculous stunts like that.

And they said that when men do that, it makes them more sexually attractive to females. There's certain females that are attracted to men that don't have fear or are willing to overcome fear. And that it's somehow or another, they think, in some way connected to the idea of a brave warrior. Because a brave warrior faces something that everyone else is terrified of, but faces it head on. brave warrior faces something that everyone else is terrified of, but faces it head on. And that same sort of like reaction to watching someone do something that, you know,

as a person is absolutely terrifying when they see it, it gets them turned on. It makes total sense to me. I think that's, I think that's just a, a misplacement of energy. I mean, that guy would have been, you know,

okay. That's a misplacement, but isn't that, or it's not i'm just saying that that that he back in the day he probably would have been with a shield and charging into battle that's what i mean well i mean isn't it what i was saying is isn't it essentially the same thing that makes someone like a crazy bmx rider yeah those flips yeah man that's kind of the same thing right of course it's just it's also pushing yourself beyond what

you think you can do but you know but the bmx guy gets money if you're a bmx guy and you you do flips and shit and you're awesome at it you can make a lot of money i also think it's juice it's also adrenaline look man getting into a ring every day and fighting dudes where you might get knocked out that's that's pretty daredevil as well that's pretty scary too doubt. Running punts back in the NFL, fucking scary. Yeah, but... Any of that shit, you know? Something about that is like when you're fighting, at least you're under your own sort of control in some sort of a way.

Yeah, you have to deal with somebody else, but if you know what the fuck you're doing, you can kind of mitigate a lot of shit, sort of. At least you hope you can. That's the ultimate goal. But, man, when you're fucking doing flips off But man When you're fucking doing Flips off a mountain You're going off a mountain On a mountain bike

Yeah Whish Whish Whish Bam And then you're landing Some of those guys Are out of their fucking minds

I think you get addicted To the adrenaline too 100% Yeah They must I mean if I didn't perform I would die Yeah but it's

I think it's a way Crazier rush that they get. They're doing like two flips on TV and landing on a bike. They do motorcycles where they flip through the air on a motorcycle. Then what happens when that goes away? Well, what happens when it lands on their body? That's horrible to watch. Well, Jason Ellis still has to do crazy shit.

He got in the ring with keith jardine the other day and he just put in a mouthpiece no headgear and goes let's just slug it out and he starts going at it with jardine jardine just goes all right you know what bang just catches him with an uppercut knocks him out jason was like it was fucking awesome he just needs the juice i was like but that's jardine who hit you and knocked you out that's not good for your brain he's been yeah he's been shut off a bunch of times too yeah i asked him about that once and he said he's been out cold like six times and that was like i think that was like from skateboarding i don't even think that was from fighting i know he loves doing it sturdy dude man yeah but that causes depression like too much head trauma like

that yeah that causes that causes you to do, like, shit that you wish you didn't do. I think those football players shoot themselves in the chest so that you can study their brain because they knew something was wrong. Yeah. Mark Gordon, the guy who's the expert in traumatic brain injury, Dr. Mark Gordon, he said it doesn't take much. He said you could have one wrong car accident where you don't even get injured. You just slam forward and, like, hit the steering wheel. Like're fine everybody's fine everybody's fine you know a little fender bender and you're fucked you're fucked you're depressed for months you don't know why wow your pituitary

gland's just not functioning properly like your your brain gets so that's why a lot of people with brain injury go on hormone therapy because their body stops producing testosterone or any of that stuff yeah well there's a bunch of shit. Your dopamine levels drop. Your serotonin levels drop. Your human growth hormone levels drop. You get tired. You know, they think that that's a lot of what they used to call chronic fatigue syndrome, too. Oh, wow.

Chronic fatigue syndrome. They attribute to a couple different possibilities. One of them is Lyme disease. They didn't understand Lyme disease. Well, Lyme disease, they believe. They didn't start diagnosing people with Lyme disease until like the fucking 80s or something like that. It was a Lyme disease. Well, Lyme disease, they believe, like they didn't start diagnosing people with Lyme disease till like the fucking 80s or something like that. It was a fairly recent disease.

But the other one they think might have been depression and head trauma, where they just don't want to get out of bed. Like, do you remember that? When they used to call it chronic fatigue syndrome? Yeah. Remember that? It was called, I mean, they had different words for it, but yeah, it was like Epstein-Barr virus.

Yeah. My roommate in college had that for like a year. Yeah. Just, you know, had to hit the sleep. Well, I remember there was some girl that I didn't know, but I knew her like peripherally. And someone was like, yeah, poor girl. She's got chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm like, what the fuck is that?

And I think, I don't know if she'd been in a car accident or something, but I want to say she was. It's like a serious car accident. I'm trying to remember. It makes sense. I'm trying to remember. It's too long ago. I might be confusing stories. But I remember thinking like I had met her before and she seemed normal.

And now here she is where she doesn't have any energy to do anything. When you have somebody break down just what one organ does and then how it works with all the other organs sometimes, you can't believe that shit doesn't break down yeah it's it's like it's just such an intricate machine and one thing is dependent on the other it's fucking nuts yeah where somebody will have a cavity an issue with their tooth and they have unexplained foot pain and all of a sudden they realize that the nerve in the tooth is connected to the nerve in the foot and so what was really causing the problem the pain in your foot was not your foot it was it was your tooth like an infection or something infection there's a there's a certain nerve that goes from from like the jaw all the way down you

know people get fucking heart attacks from tooth infections yes it corrodes the artery the the bacteria corrodes the arteries how bananas that corrodes the arteries. How bananas is that? The valve corrodes the valves. Yeah, it's fucking, you know. That's why this Ebola thing is so fucking frightening. Because anything that just like immediately shuts your body down, anything that immediately puts your body into a tailspin, 50% of the people that catch this shit die. Die, yeah. It's so weird when something just goes wrong.

Like everything's great today. Today, what did i do well i went and walked the dogs i uh i got up i played with my kid i went and played tennis what happened yesterday oh you know same thing what happens tomorrow ebola yeah see boom hemorrhagic virus boils all over your face your face is covered in just giant fucking cell phone size pus bubbles. It's horrifying. And you're bleeding. You're crying out of your eyes.

It's like seeing that woman who went jogging in Florida and she was, you know, it was like seven at night and she had a long day at work. She went running

and she just dangled her feet off the bridge. She was like, I just got to dangle my feet. I'm just fucking hot. And an 11 foot alligator was like, I'm going to,

I'll take you now. I'll be having you now. Thank you. They found her with no arms. Took her arms. Fuck. It was a good time. Alligator was like, I know I'm an alligator, and usually I don't do this because crocodiles do it.

I'm going to do it today to you. You're going to be the only three people or four people of the year that's going to be eaten by a fucking 11-foot dragon. That'll be me. Isn't that weird that alligators, they let them hang around because they're not too aggressive? It's like they're just docile enough. They usually run from you. That people don't just decide to fucking kill them on sight. But really, everyone in Florida should be up in arms.

They should run out to the swamps and gun those fucking dinosaurs down. Those are a bunch of kid-eating, dog-eating monsters. They eat the shit out of dogs. And a guy was walking his dog, and the alligator didn't go for the dog, went for the guy. Took the guy. Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus. Yeah, they're just not as aggressive as crocs.

If they were crocs, we would be killing them left and right. Crocodiles? You know, they found Nile crocs in the Everglades. Stop it. Yes, they have. There's a shoot-on-sight order for Nile crocodiles. I fucking knew it, because people used to have them as pets. Nile crocodiles.

Yep. They don't know if they're breeding. They don't have any idea. But they've spotted more than one Nile crocodile in the Everglades. Holy fuck. Confirmed sightings. So they're saying. Straight up killers.

Yep. You see them. They kill them on sight. Straight up. They will come right at you. You are food as a human being. And they're big. Ugh.

They get really big. It's like that Peace Corps girl who's like, oh, they're're in kenya well the crocodiles died out uh years ago she heard she heard she goes swimming the guy is like i don't know she's like i'm going to wither out i'm a water baby 30 seconds later gets pulled under got my feet disappeared dude there was a document or um article i was reading about these people that were canoeing in the Congo. And the guy behind watches the guy in front gets taken by the croc. Where the croc just rises up out of the water and literally snatches the guy and spins the canoe upside. Kayak, rather.

Oh, the kayak. Spins the kayak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I read about that. And he's stuck in it. And it goes up and down like a bobber. And then plump. And then pops up no guy

that's it he doesn't see the guy ever again the croc just takes him out of the water yeah and so the motto of that story is don't fucking kayak in the nile i mean in in the congo don't do that that would be the motto of that story oh you fucking are you out of your fucking mind they're not like sharks they will bother bother you. They come after you They come after everything. Yeah, that's what they're they're here for clean up fucking zoologists said in uganda He saw a saltwater crocodile eat a goddamn tire eat a whole tire I was like i'm gonna eat this tire I was like, can you repeat that again? He goes it ain't a tire. I go a car tire. He goes. Yeah, it ate it

Oh my god, so Your your food. Yeah, they eat everything. Yeah, your t-shirt, everything. If you think about it, like, where are they? Well, they live in a place that's so rich with life that they have to be consistent in their ability to kill it. Yeah. Like, they're the cleanups. Uh-huh.

Like, anytime, there's too many water buffaloes. There's too many wildebeests. When there's too many wildebeests, they go near the water hole and they get gotten the water hole and they get got they get snatched that's right but you know who doesn't get snatched hippos crocs don't fuck with hippos at all hippos wade into the water with crocs and swim right by them it's the most amazing thing to say yep Because hippos are so fucking violent. They're like, go fuck yourself. They break crocs in half. They cut crocs in half. Yeah.

Yeah. We're out of time. That's it. We have no more time. Brian Callen, you are my friend. You are the shit. Thank you. You are hilarious.

If people want to see Brian, it's B-R-Y-A-N, Callen. Has anybody taken B-R-I-A-N, Callen, and just started tweeting pictures of dicks? I don't know, man. I don't know. B-R-Y. B-R-I-A-N Callen and just started tweeting pictures of dicks? I don't know, man. I don't know. B-R-Y. B-R-Y-A-N Callen on Twitter. All right, my friend. Much love.

Anything to tell people? Where are you going to be again? I'll be in Atlanta Improv, October 16th, 17th, 18th. Come see me. Go see him. It's hilarious. Yeah. Very funny stand-up.

Brian, you got anything going on? Columbus, Ohio Grand Rapids, Michigan And Indianapolis You can just go to DeathSquad.TV Click on tour dates DeathSquad.TV

Click on tour dates That's it you fucks See you soon Much love Later Big kiss Mwah Mwah

Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah

Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Thank you.