The Joe Rogan Experience - #558 - Honey Honey

Episode Date: October 10, 2014

Honey Honey is a band, featuring members Suzanne Santo and Ben Jaffe, from Los Angeles, CA. They are currently recording a new album and can be seen touring all over the world.

the Joe Rogan experience ladies and gentlemen my friends honey honey Ben Susan you're back what's up what's up guys man it's so weird without the ads. Yeah, it's better that way. We smush them in later. We're boring people. You have to sit there and listen to five minutes of fucking talk about private life. I like hearing about the dick pills.

Now you reward them. We don't have any dick pills, man. No, no, no flashlights. It's been a while. Our first podcast with you, you had dick pills, I'm pretty sure, and Red Band took one. Or you were talking about having a boner for like six hours. No, that was totally unrelated. He was getting some shit at gas stations. We weren't

telling that. That was the beginning of a bad addiction, though. I went deep. There's no sponsorship involved for that. No, it's just Mexican Viagra where they take Viagra and mix it with acorns and call it a supplement. You're not supposed to. You don't know what you're eating. Did it work?

Oh, it worked. What it is, is like, if you would buy, Aubrey explained it to us, the hustle. If you would buy like, you know, Super Rocket pills at the gas station, and it says guaranteed erection and all this jazz, they're just selling you Viagra, but they're doing it without a prescription. And so they're just putting Viagra in these pills And then saying Oh this is our super secret supplement And when people find out it works They buy the shit out of it

It's a way to buy Viagra without a prescription Is that legal? It's not but the fines are very low Really? And who's regulating that? That's a good question The Boner Police? They regulate it if they find out it's actually Viagra

But a lot of times they don't find out There's a million different names. And apparently they get a small fine. What Aubrey said is some of the companies will change their name and then restart up under a different name. And do the same fucking shit. Oh, my God. Ben, what are we doing playing music? We should be getting boners.

Brian, I have a question. They just change a name. Do you just take it and then... No. Some of the times it doesn't work. It's kind of like mushrooms where it really, it's based on what you eat, I find. Set and set again. Isn't this never good, though?

That seems like... That was normal. That's a disintegrating motion. You're doing like the knuckles blow up. You guys don't do that? Boom. Yours doesn't work like that? Mine does not.

Now I'm getting sad. Oh, boy. I wish I had those extra effects. Go to the gas station. I was going to say, should we go to the convenience store and come back?

Apparently some of them at the gas station are just bullshit. Yeah. You know, some of them are just like some goofy herbs. But how great of a placebo

is that? Like maybe it just works anyway. It could if you really think you got the super hard on pills, the super Chinese Viagra. Well,

you just went global with it and I was about to got the super hard-on pills, the super Chinese Viagra. Well, you just went global with it, and I was about to ask the question, isn't there a Chinese supplement where they're using rhinoceros horn ground? Yeah. Rhinoceros horn, that's been a big fucking issue. Yeah, I was at the airport the other day, and they had this big rhino photo that said, I am not medicine. And it was talking about the use of rhino horns and some Eastern medicines.

Yeah, there's some people that really believe, they believe it can bring good luck. It can cure things. It can cure cancer. It's kind of amazing how you can set a trend. You know what I mean? Like, well, obviously, like, that's a terrible, terrible trend.

Terrible trend. But, you know, it takes, you know, one person to be like, I ground up this rock i found in my backyard and i'll give you some 50 bucks one of the best ones that was my childhood they actually they sell rhino seven it's the best one it's called rhino seven look at the explosions running through fire how bad would your life suck if you saw a rhino running through fire? Like, could you imagine if you're, like, in a forest fire and you're trapped and you're standing there?

What are you talking about? I saw that last night. And a rhino. I'm just kidding. What? What? Huh? Do you have cleats on?

The rhino is running through, like, this burst of fire. That would be the worst thing you could, one of the worst things on earth that you could ever see. That's kind of how I imagine your life, honestly. We had bear talk earlier with Joe. Bear talk? Bear talk. I got more questions, man. Okay.

What kind of questions? Well, so you were telling us that it's a predator. Yes. So it's in a different species of reaction in the sense of how it's perceiving everything around it. Bears are omnivores. So they'll eat. Sometimes they'll ignore any game because they find a big patch of blueberries. And they'll even ignore meat that's being left out.

They don't care. They'll find a patch of blueberries on a hill and they'll just go to that. Their sense of smell is incredible. So they are super sensitive, though. If you're over there, they know you're there? Oh, yeah. They know you're there unless you're really far away. You could be 100 yards away or 200 yards away with the right wind.

They might not know you're there. But if they're near you and there's no wind, most likely they know you're there. If the wind is blowing towards them, they definitely know you're there. They can just smell you. That's crazy. Their sense of smell is way better than a dog's, and a dog's sense of smell is insanely better than a person's. It's really hard for them to measure what animals have the best sense of smell.

It's very difficult to really quantify it. But what's even more difficult is us even imagining how good a dog's sense of smell is. Because it's a totally different perception at that point, right? They might be able to smell like fear. Totally. Yeah. And it's like seeing an infrared or something like that.

Yeah. The world just opens up in a completely different way. Is there like a fear pheromone that you emit? I guess there must be, right? There's got to be. Yeah. I think there's weird shit that you smell when you're around people that you don't like. Definitely.

Or people that freak you out or people that might have bad intentions. They have a weird smell. Absolutely. I have a nose like a bloodhound. Do you? Yeah. It's really weird. Can you track bad guys?

I really can. I swear to God. So far, this room is okay. Everybody's doing great Did you give Jamie A good sniff I did Jamie You smell great

You passed the test Yeah I couldn't imagine Like smelling Everybody's farts Like in a city Like if you're at a mall That's a lot of farts Like if you're in a dog

And you're at the mall I can imagine it though You're in a sea of farts Yeah but if you're a dog You're eating shit So you're into it That's true're in a sea of farts. Yeah, but if you're a dog, you're eating shit, so you're into it. That's true. I don't mind at all. They don't have any cultural context.

Yet. I have faith that they will evolve and we will see it. What do you mean? Look at Jumpy the dog. I mean, he is way ahead of schedule. Do you think dogs of today look back at the dogs of like 500 years ago and go, what a bunch of fucking idiots chasing their tail. You Neanderthals.

Freaking out when they heard the first siren. But they had their heroes that we don't even know about. Yeah. You remember that one dog? The dog that saved the guy? Yeah. The first one to bury the bone. You know my friend Steve Rinell was telling me that they used to do shows where they would take like a raft

filled with animals and they would push them off of the big waterfall. What is it? Niagara Falls. Jesus. That's terrible. People would pay to watch it. They would stand on the sidelines and they would push a raft of animals off Niagara Falls

to their death. What? Yeah. It's like some early 1900s shit. Why? Because people you know it's a show like people could see the show like they would pay to see so they would load this raft up with exotic animals that were freaking out trying to figure out how to get off the raft and then send them over the top six sons of bitches wow how weird yeah that doesn't sound even entertaining well i'm depressed now okay it's definitely not entertaining it's definitely disgusting definitely should be illegal definitely should be punished

but if you were there while that raft is headed towards the apex do you keep looking or do you go i don't want no part of this that was like it's too late that was like the primitive form of all the fucking facebook shit of like distractify. It was like, let's just watch something absolutely asinine or horrifying. Yeah. Because it's, there's that shock factor. Right. You know, but I feel like that's not too far off from watching dog fighting, even though there's gambling and betting involved, but like people that can handle that kind of thing.

I think there's just like, I think there's some sort of, I can't relate to this, but I think that there's some sort of like innate, um, uh, primal instinct to want to, to see something terrible. So it's like more terrible than what you can experience in your everyday life.

Maybe feel better about it or something. Or your people are just sick and disgusting. I think either or, right. It doesn't have to be one or the other. mean it could have been could be both are you sure like that's for real like people actually really did that like that's not a joke no it was real it was like a show oh my god people would pay to see it yeah we were just talking about this earlier actually what are you pulling we're just trying to find pictures of it. Oh. We were just talking about this earlier. I'm not sure if I want to see it. About being sensitive.

And I was telling Joe that there's some. You guys were talking about being sensitive? Being sensitive. That's what you were talking about. Yeah. Look, I brought the feminine energy today. God damn it. She does.

And whiskey. And the whiskey. Feminine energy and the cure for the feminine energy. Whiskey. It's true but you know we were talking about TV and there's certain whenever I'm witnessing whether it's in a TV show

or a movie or real life some people really losing or people just being absolutely terrible to one another especially when someone is trying their best and they just get kicked when they're down. Yeah. That just guts me.

That I just, oh, fucking. Because you're a genuinely nice person. Crushes my soul. You're a genuinely nice person who would never do that. So you see it and it drives you crazy. One of the things that drives us crazy is the horrible things that we hope we never see in ourselves. You know, like when we see something really pathetic there's there's horrible or mean or vicious there's part of us that like knows it's evil and knows it's bad and people are

being hurt and they're that part of us without a doubt is angry or upset at that situation but there's also a part of us that hopes that we're never like that yeah you know like I think that's part of like what you see even when you see like a murderer or we see like someone whose life has gone totally out of control and off the rails and into the woods you just go God could that have been me you know like that's one of the things that freaks you out the most it opens up the spectrum yeah what we're capable of you see some person who shows up at their job and just starts shooting people and you go what brought her to do

that what brought it to do that? It's usually not a her. I don't know why I said her. Has it ever been a her? A woman mass shooter? That's a really good fucking question. You were just talking about this. Maybe one or two.

I was just reading. There was this Esquire article. That's a very good question. About mass shooting. I was just trying to be even. It's not even at all. Yeah, there was an Esquire article about it. Let's not get any ideas out there, ladies.

Let's just keep it cool. Keep it cool. Everybody stay calm. And it was really interesting because half the article was just like a history of maybe just the last 10 years of mass shooting. There's been a ridiculous amount of them. Why mass shootings are always male. It's in Time Magazine. Except there's a big fucking stupid pull-down menu that we can't get out of the way.

Way to go. How about you use Squarespace, you fucks? Make yourself a really useful website. That just happened. Are we just going to slip him in?

Why don't you use a flashlight to do it? That was an ad from earlier. You know what I mean? Rhino horn. We didn't even... Okay, Squarespace isn't even on today's ads,

so stop it. Stop talking. Just stop it. Don't waste it. They make an excellent website that's all i'm saying the other half of the esquire article was about this dude who was foiled in his uh mass shooting attempt and he went to prison but they didn't it was like frank abagnale you know how he was this world traveling uh counterfeiter and eventually they caught him

and he started working for the fbi oh i'm not aware of that okay is that catch me if you can't movie oh that's about that guy that's about that dude and this was a similar situation where they found this mass shooter who didn't actually get to carry out his plan and then started to use him to get into the psyche of these dudes um and he talks about the process like move you know it starts with, but the turning point was him starting to feel like he realized he was better than everybody. It was loneliness and alienation and then like, wait, but the reason is I'm the best and they're the

worst. And he created his plan. So all these guys created this. Are you trying to tell us you're a serial killer? Is this your subtle way of telling us that you are a mass shooter in waiting? Are you ready to pop? Are you ready to pop, bro?

Come on. Questions like that, you're going to fucking find out. Well, mental illness is a terrifying thing because I don't know what's going on in your brain. I don't know what's going on in your brain. I can only guess based on all the time we've hung out together that it's nothing scary.

You know what I mean? I'm telling you, everybody smells good in here. Everybody smells good. I can only guess based on all the time we've hung out together that it's nothing scary. You know what I mean? I'm telling you, everybody smells good in here, okay? Everybody smells good. I agree. It's okay. I don't smell any crazies or bad guys. A woman in California postal shooting had history of bizarre behavior. How many did she shoot? Six. Do you know that the woman

who... There was a woman secret service agent that got overpowered by that guy that ran into the White House? There was a woman secret service agent That got overpowered by that guy That ran into the White House There was a woman secret service agent That was on the first line of fire Like she was on the front line The guy got in and got a hold of her and overpowered her That's no good

That's terrifying He got past her Was that recently? Yeah a few days ago It's scary as shit, man. This is scary as shit. Well, they just got outed for all this stuff, man. Did you hear about all the shots fired on, I can't remember what part of the West, excuse

me, the White House? No. There were like seven shots fired into the White House. When was that? The Secret Service didn't know about it for a couple of days. What? Yeah. What?

Was it like sniper fire or something? Yeah. Someone just popped off a couple. Oh my God. Yeah. And that was, didn't the woman't the woman who ran, she just resigned? I mean, it's a whole fucking thing. And then there was one woman who got shot who was outside in her car, and she did something in her car, remember?

She drove her car onto the lawn. Is that what it was? Weren't we there? What? We were in D.C. I think we were. We were. We were playing at the 930 Club.

I've done that place. Oh, it's so great. That's a great spot. That's the best club that size in the country. It's awesome. We've got to tell the story just because it's so fucking good. So we like... One of Honey Honey's favorite live show activities is putting spirit animals on our stage.

Preferably like birds of prey. I want to play guitar underneath your story. Yeah. Oh, I like it. I like it like it i like it i'll make it appropriate so we used to have this mascot who was a it was a ceramic rooster it was fucking great and we we we took this rooster everywhere i got it it's on our instagram page i can show you a ceramic rooster yeah and it was like is this rooster it was rooster size it's pretty average pretty accurate that was uh so um scale how do i like show this to you i'm not really good at this stuff anyway we get to the we get to the venue and the rooster gets shattered by one of the

employees by accident and our our tour manager at the time, Sam, Sam really had an attachment to this rooster. We had him upstairs. We were downstairs and we just heard this. No! From like three balconies up and we knew that he'd gotten the news. What's so great about 930 Club is that they're a really incredible team. Like the whole establishment, like there's a real family vibe. like there's a real family vibe and that one of the employees incredible illustrative artist draws up a card with this beautiful photo like drawing of a

rooster with a big tear coming down his face that says sorry about your cock and the whole venue signed it all the employees in the venue signed it and we still have it and it was just one of the coolest things ever and you know it's it's that that's actually a legendary venue like the people there are just phenomenal the sound qualities is one of the best sounding rooms it's a great spot yeah yeah i did that place years ago that's a great spot that's awesome we got cupcakes i'm going to dc soon doing the warner theater oh damn on the 18th. Of this month? Yeah.

Oh, shit. Next weekend. Are you just touring all the time now? Yeah. What are you doing, man? I'm just telling jokes. I just did my Comedy Central special in Denver in November, so what I'm doing right now is writing new jokes. Hey, thanks.

A shitload of new jokes. It's fun. How do you approach that? You write, and then you take those ideas and you fuck with them on stage. You really don't know what like last night I did a bunch of new shit I didn't know where it was going you know and but I kind of had ideas where it would probably go and then there was some there's some things you you change when you're in the fly because you kind of realize like on the

fly that it'd be better if I said it like this or it'd make more sense if I said it like that or I could also say this. And you get under the pressure of trying to forge the idea on stage. You come up with some fun lines. Do you ever like bounce it off of anybody? No. Like a teammate, you just go for it?

Yeah, I don't want to do that. Do you iPhone it? You're just sitting in your car and you come up with shit? Both. I iPhone it and I also, a lot of times I iPhone it into print form. Oh, cool.

I use that thing. Fancy. The notepad. You know, the notepad. You use the little, press the little microphone, talk into it. It's unbelievable. Have you ever tried it? No.

But didn't you have a Droid the last time I saw you? Yeah, I got rid of it. So you switched that shit up. No, but then I got a new one. So I have a new Droid. Whoa, Redman has the massive one. Yeah, he's got the giant iPhone. That's nothing compared to your phone.

Don't be intimidated. I got one of those Galaxy Note 5s. What? Or Galaxy S5s. I fucking love it. Yeah, it's great. Joe, can I ask you a writing question? You can ask me anything you want.

Check this out. Watch while I talk into this. Honey, honey, Ben is fucking badass. Sweet guy. Watch this.. Watch while I talk into this. Honey, honey band is fucking badass. Sweet guy. Watch this. Wow, I love this positive reinforcement. Honey, honey band

is fucking... Dude, she listens. That's amazing. She listens. I mean, it just... Mine doesn't work like that. It worked exactly. I mean, it's got all the words.

Jesus. And you just talk into it and it prints it up. And so I like doing that when I'm driving because I have an idea and I could record it and maybe that's the way to go sometimes. Don't forget that idea for later.

Make sure you save that one. I'm going to make this a sculpture. It should be a sculpture. I don't know what it's going to be. A dude with his pants off and a fucking Texas belt buckle. Did you know that the new Siri now does Shazam? So you could just do the, what song is this?

I've never seen Shazam or anything. Oh, Siri, do that. What song is this? Oh, Siri does that? Yeah, and you can work anything. Oh, Siri, you badass bitch. That is a large phone, Redman. Does that even fit in your pocket?

He puts it in the front. Is that a large phone in your pocket? A lot of room in the front. A lot of room. A lot of extra room. Not taking none of those pills. A lot of extra space.

Once you get off that room, there's some shrinkage. I had a writing question. Okay. But I don't know. Sorry for being demanding. roof? It's some shrinkage. I had a writing question. Okay. But I don't know. Sorry for being demanding.

No. This is your fucking place. That's feisty. Look, he's about to go off the rails. I like it. I like when you're

demanding. I like it. Okay. Well, see, I don't know if this truly applies, but I feel like a lot of people who write stuff,

songs, comedy, whatever, when you're young, it comes, or maybe not young, there's a certain point, like an initial point where it comes very unconsciously, you know? Just kind of flows out in a sense of like, okay, I'm just expressing myself.

And then later on down the road, there's this conscious element that you have to like retrain yourself to do something consciously that you maybe used to do subconsciously. Am I presuming too much? Well, I think with comedy, it might be the exact opposite. Interesting. i presuming too much well i think with comedy it might be the exact opposite interesting because in comedy in the beginning you suck so hard that you're terrified of every stupid fucking word you're writing down you have very little confidence in anything that you're thinking but then as you get older you kind of understand what you think is funny about something and you it also becomes like a different but so that's that's more of a conscious

act though right sorry well not not necessarily that's more of a conscious act though right well not necessarily that's more of a conscious act but you you understand what you're trying to do now because when when you're young what you're trying to do is you're trying to kick ass like i'm gonna get this joke and it's gonna be so awesome it's like i was trying to explain to a friend like if you made an album like if you guys decided to make an album like honey honey band's gonna make an album and our goal is to sell the most fucking records of all time. So that's what we're going to do with this album. We're going to make the fucking album that sells

more fucking records. We're going to make a million dollars or billion million dollars because I want a fucking yacht and I want a jet and a Bentley. He's reading our minds. So if you approached writing your songs and that's all you were thinking about it would fuck you up hard. Yeah. like you would

somehow or another lose your connection that happened it happened to me when i was a an actor what did you want fucking money i wanted i wanted to survive and i i worked for a little while and i had like a good two years and um it was like when once i moved to la from i was i was living in new york and i moved to LA and I stopped working and Then every time I went to an audition I was just so desperate like I couldn't focus on what was right in front of me I had to focus on what was what would happen if I got the job instead of I think people can smell that I'm not Kidding. Oh, yeah

but also You know in on a as a side note like that's how I started playing music. Because I sort of got thrown off course. I was totally lost. And I moved to LA. I didn't have any friends when I got here. I had a boyfriend and we broke up. And yeah, super sad.

And then I wrote these terrible sad songs. Stop it. I know. It's so pathetic. But it's true. That end result, you're absolutely right. As far as like, you know, creativity goes, it's kind of like not up to you to. Yeah.

I think I like, I really love being friends with guys like you guys because I don't know anything about music. So I get to appreciate it from this like really innocent point of view. Like, ooh, that sounds awesome. Like, I don't know anything about chords. I don't know how you do shit with your awesome like i don't know anything about chords i don't know how you do shit with your voice we don't know anything about chords either and that's kind of what i'm talking about though in the sense of like so we get to this point and this happens to a lot of people who go to conservatories or like really study this shit is that they have this technical understanding all of a sudden and now they have to spend the

rest of their career figuring out how to forget about that stuff and just like how do I come at this like you're talking about like someone who doesn't really understand it coming from an emotional place where you're actually using it for what it's supposed

to be used for yeah I think maybe it's just like exercising too much focus in one area like I think it's probably that like technical proficiency

is probably very important in music but it's also like nurturing a creative viewpoint, where if you're doing something, let's put it this way, if you're doing something and you're just studying, this is not to knock studying music and practicing, but if you're practicing, say, a very particular song, and you're doing that song over and over and over again,

I'm sure you're gaining technical proficiency, but should there be an equal amount of time where you just explore making your own sounds, making your own, using your own lyrics, having your own thoughts, or should you do like the classical music version of music, which is consistently performing Bach, Beethoven, like songs that have been done.

They're in the can already. You're just recreating them. I think it's a little bit of everything. Did you want to say something? It is kind of a little bit of everything, right? You beat me too. You got it. Take the flow.

Okay. Well, yeah, it is a little bit of everything because, you know, obviously like there's muscle memory when you're playing. So if you're in shape, it's just like working out. You know, I'll do exercises of classical music just to like what do you do have my chops up um can you do it for us no no no no i'll do this i'll do something i mean keep going just stretch just move around a lot it's not that impressive Just stretch.

Just move around a lot. It's not that impressive. I've just been working on this new piece. Just a warm-up piece. It's pretty. It's cool. It's like a. It's got Keith Jarrett.

It's very almost Led Zeppelin-like. I can see. I can hear like Robert Plant. Babe! Babe! Babe! Babe! Babe! Babe! See, I can hear like Robert Plant. Babe. Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe. I'm gonna leave you. I'm gonna leave parts of you, girl. And then we were like.

I fucking left. Oh, my God. We just started a band, dude. This is amazing. I feel it. I feel it, baby. Holy shit. It's inside of me. started a band, dude. This is amazing. I feel it. I feel it, baby. Holy shit. It's inside of me. From now on, I'm wearing big sunglasses, wigs, large hats.

I want attention. We want to be able to see your dick through your pants. You can see my dick through my pants no matter what, whether you want to or not. There are no pants big enough. It's angry. It's aggressive. It's on the move. It's angry.

Angry dick. Constantly. Constantly pressing the boundaries of cloth. He's such a sweet guy, move it's angry angry constantly that's gonna be your stage name boundaries of cloth just such a sweet guy but he's got a mean dick it's like a little wolverine it's a little fucking honey badger on my pants his little mad dick rogan it's not even that big it's just crazy if you had like a fucking drunk kangaroo Or a wild vicious rat I'd be more scared of the rat

You know the kangaroo Was like wobbling Didn't look explosive I don't know Well you could get The plague from a rat Rats scare the fuck out of me man Yeah me too

We've talked about it On the podcast before I had a bad situation With a rat once At a pool hall in New Jersey Me and my friend John Went to this place to play pool And there was this

Fucking huge rat Oh god I'll never forget Just big giant Fucking crazy yellow teeth And rat Scared the shit out of me to this place to play pool and there's this fucking huge rat i'll never forget just big giant fucking crazy yellow teeth and scared the shit out of me all you think about is like getting bitten by the rat i have a great rat story and i really want to tell this um so back back in the disney no would you ask her play music play music come on she's not interested i like this let me let me this well it's pretty dark so like you know whatever move He would throw me off. Play music? Play music. She's not interested. I like this. Wait, let me, let me, this, well, it's pretty dark.

So, like, you know what, whatever moves you. Let me, let me paint this with my tone poems. Dark. Dark? We're looking for dark? So, um, I used to work in retail back in the day. Can we name the story? Yeah, let's call it, um, Rat's Blood.

Rat's Blood. Okay. That's actually really loud. Rat's Blood. Oh, okay, I'll stop. I'm sorry. I i'll stop i'm sorry so i was working in retail and it was a horrible job it was like totally degrading as a human and all you would do is

fold clothes all day and it was really expensive and these people would come in and spend ridiculous amounts of money on clothes and they were just shitty and mean and rude and rich whatever not that that all constitutes but it was just an unpleasant experience right and from whether it was a customer or the staff that you know my employers were just not kind and they didn't give a shit about you so i was already i knew i was kind of walking on thin eyes because i i wasn't like enthusiastic being there. It was just a job. And one day before the biggest sale of the year where people, like ladies, freak out, I came into the store.

And that weekend there had been indications and evidence that there were rodents. And you know what? I knew it were rats because I could smell them. I swear to God. I was like, I could smell. Literally, when someone says says i can smell a rat there's a musty smell to them you can fucking smell them i never thought oh it's totally because my first house in la i moved into off of a craigslist ad had rats and i knew i was like that smell i know that smell that was from my old house that's a rat so long story short, the exterminators come in and set traps the night before.

So Saturday morning when this big sale starts, all the girls were like, oh, my God, do you think they caught something? I don't know. We walk into the store, and there's one dead rat upstairs. There's one in the trap downstairs, another one downstairs. And then there was another. There was a trap that had been deployed and there was a piece of a big large piece of a tail and blood I'm talking blood all over the clothes all over the wall but no rat and one of the girls had walked into the front of the of the store and also you should, there was a line forming outside of people that wanted to get in to get this end-of-the-year sale.

One of the girls walks in. She goes, oh, what's that? And it was the size of a cat. And it was the rat that got out of the trap, that lost its tail, was in the middle of the store, bleeding. And it was like this big. Everybody's freaking out. One of the girls was ballsy enough to throw a trash can over it. So it's like screaming.

Oh my god. At this point, it's time it is time to open the store and people are knocking on the window and we were able to sort of create a diversion and put some clothes racks so you couldn't see the trash can people in while they were the window nobody was like I mean this was like it was

screaming like you couldn't no one so we call the exterminator oh it gets so much better the exterminator comes back we're like dude there's a fucking live rat in the store we can't open the doors We have a sale. There's a line around the block like you know the owner everybody's on the phone. Everybody's freaking out exterminator shows up and He he walks in he's like oh, yeah, that's a that's a problem, and he's like well. I don't know my pellet gun So and the next thing I know he walks out to his truck and he comes back with a two by four And he's like like you ladies might want to

step back kicks the trash can open and just fucking splat like it was so awful it was like watching him fucking blow up a watermelon in the middle of the store

so then oh it gets so much better so after he kills the rat and it's like guts and entrails are all over the place the store manager is like ladies we need to clean this up and open the store i was like are you fucking serious so like buckets of bleach and and like whatever clothing has the blood on it just take it out we'll you know we'll cancel it out later so we're cleaning we're running around and i'm not kidding you the doors open five minutes and the manager who's my age calls me upstairs and she's like suzanne um can i have a word with you and i'm like yeah yeah sure whatever

go upstairs and i get fucking fired she was like look you know we've been wanting to talk to you about you know your performance here and like i don't feel i know that you want to be a musician just want to be and i was like a fucking cunt and a musician god damn it but anyway i was like you couldn't fire me before you made me clean up the rat's blood i had to clean up the blood and then get fired are you fucking kidding me like it was one of those moments where I literally, I lost my shit. Did you tell her? And then she was like, well, you can stay for the rest of the day

if you want. I was like, you think I want to stay here? And look at you, I hate you! You know, it was horrible. But it's such a good story.

So, going through it was all worth it at the time. Well, it was just, I'd never, like, I'd never experienced like any it's such a fantastical story that's a very good story it's crazy isn't it funny how a story that is absolutely horrible at the time becomes awesome oh yeah when you tell in the past it was a low point it was a low point though because it was so insult like when someone in in like

dig like just degrades you like that like she said, I know you're trying to be a musician, but your heart's not in it. And I was like, of course. Your heart's not in selling pants. Yeah, I don't want to sell pants. And cleaning up rats. Exactly. You're right.

I shouldn't fucking rat to two by fours. I don't care about your sweaters. You need to examine your priorities. My friend Steve Rinell was explaining this to me this weekend about struggle. And it's a very important, interesting point. And he was talking about

working like, struggling really hard, doing something that sucks is not fun at the time. But, it's fun later on for a long time. Whereas,

something that comes really easy, like fun like roller coaster riding, is fun at the time but after it's over has no fun attached to it anymore and I was like

whoa that is crazy if you think about it that way there's fun stored up I don't know he's obviously

never been rollercoaster high yeah but even if you have it's still 30 seconds whoa we did it it was crazy and then you kind of tell it but

you just told a fucking harrowing story of a rat trapped under a trash can, shrieking while a bunch of chicks are banging on the window trying to save some money. And it's, this fucking rat's,

and the guy comes in and smashes it. That is a great fucking story that at the time, you must have been like, fuck this job. And you fucking fired me, you fucking cunt. Oh, that day.

Like, immediately afterwards. Yeah. But look how great it is now. It's's like there's been there's like energy stored up in that moment that's come through in a big way i think i think witnessing amazing crazy like acts of nature like that in any respect i'm sure you've seen crazy things out in the wilderness you know it's just like oh my god well i've been talking about this like the last few days i've been really happy like i'm always pretty happy but really fucking happy because i'm not in the fucking rainforest in prince edward's prince of wales island in alaska sleeping in a wet tent and i'm like dude houses are awesome plumbing electricity where your socks wet? Fuck yeah.

Everything was wet. My sleeping bag was wet. My clothes were wet. I turned my light on. I had a miner's light on, one of those little things that you put on like a little headband. It sits over the forehead like a third eye. Third eye vision. Your enlightenment eye.

Oh, yeah. I turned this thing on in my tent and I just saw like it was raining dew drops. It's like literally everywhere you looked like the entire air all the air was filled with moisture there's nothing stays dry it's impossible we just ate like freeze-dried foods you take water we're drinking right out of the lake five days we're drinking right out of the lake you just have like filters and shit there's no giardia because there's no beavers up that high. Not only that, it's a lake that's made entirely of rainwater.

It's not fed by a river or anything. What did it taste like? It just rains so much. It's just pure rainwater. Wow. What? Yes. So there's no tributaries or anything? Nothing.

It's 160 inches of rain a year. It's the rainiest spot in North America. So you just dip your canteen in there and drink it. Is it huge? Oh my God. I'll show you some pictures after the podcast is over. It's amazing. It's so humbling.

But beautiful, amazing, solitary, really wild. But when you get back home, you feel great. I think that's the balance. I don't think the balance is living by yourself. I don't think the balance is going all Ted Kaczynski. I think the balance is going out to nature. Go ahead. I'm going out on a limb.

Yeah. But I think the balance is going out into nature and being around people. It's like both. Definitely. It's like both. Like a nice. Well, we need to exchange that energy, whether it's like physical contact or just, you know, attention.

Yeah. I think there's perspective and seeing the stars. That's a huge one. You know. Giant. exchange that energy whether it's like physical contact or just you know attention yeah perspective and be seeing the stars that's a huge huge you know we giant we we just got to go to hawaii fairly recently and you look up at the stars did you go to the keck observatory no we didn't you gotta go once in your life it's in hawaii it's on the big island oh that's where we were shit maybe we'll go back you got I'm scheduling my next trip. I'm going to make sure if I go there that I go there when there's no moon out. Because the last time I went, it was fucking amazing. But the moon was out.

So you don't see anything but the moon and a few stars. But the time before I went, it was all stars. It was no moon. And it's insane. You can't believe it. You almost get angry that you can't see that every day. Everybody should see it on a regular basis. If you can't do it every night, it should happen regularly, weekly, monthly, whatever.

Because it just sets you back to the point of understanding what is actually going on, where you are. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I think we're blocked off. We're in a car with like super tinted windows. Yeah. We look so cool.

We can't see. We're obviously successful. It's dark out. We can't see shit. We're obviously successful or being abducted out. We can't see shit. What is up? We're obviously successful or being abducted. It's one or the other. There's maybe porn being filmed. One or the other.

One or the other. But when we're flying around through the galaxy and we don't realize it, we can get cocky. But when you're standing on that Keck Observatory and you're looking up and you see the very defined Milky Way galaxy. it's so crazy. It's like you're literally on some sort of a spaceship with no roof and you're flying through the galaxy. That's what it feels like. Everything is, you just feel so small. It's like, wow, this is fucking huge.

It's such a great feeling of small. Yes. Because it's not really that you feel small it's that you realize the enormity of it yeah everything the whole package it's like not even that you feel small it's just like it's humbling and i think that's one of the reasons why people are so goddamn cocky i think we fucked up by making like lights everywhere at night you know you can't see the stars. No, I think it's what you said. It's a balance. It's like people need to remember to get away and reflect and be out.

Shut it down. Turn the fucking phone off. Don't look at your Facebook page. Go be outside. Just take it in. I kind of felt like that when I spent a summer surfing. I'm not a good surfer. But I used to live by the beach,

and I diligently would go with a friend of mine who was teaching me how to surf. I had so many moments where I was getting tossed around and where I was scared, and you just feel like this is the ocean. This is huge. This is so much bigger than than me you know and i had so much respect for you know great mother nature it's a mother i did but it did i really did like i would have these moments where i would just i would get up at like six in the morning with my friend and go surfing and then have this just awareness for the rest of my day and it's pretty fucking cool i would imagine that the people that that frequently, that that's their hobby, have a real essence about them.

This is definitely a spiritual connection. Totally. It was an alignment with this energy that's so much more powerful than you when you're riding that wave. Even people that just go to the beach every day or all the time. That's one of the reasons why beach towns are so chill. Isn't something about the salt, like alkalizing or something? It's probably really good for you. Yeah, it's very cleansing.

I would imagine. If you go by Santa Monica and you watch the waves, you'll see the mist. You can see the mist. People are breathing that. Yeah. And the air is clean as shit. There's a fucking hundred million cars and the air is clean there because it's all coming off the ocean.

It's just a totally different sort of vibe. It's a fucking hundred million cars and the air is clean there because it's all coming off the ocean it's just a totally different sort of vibe it's a totally different life why aren't we living by the beach guys so we had both of those let's live our dreams the beach and the stars

but the stars I think are the motherfucker of all motherfuckers it's like the beach and the forest too though the forest is a motherfucker that's big you're talking about

Hawaii still well everywhere I mean Hawaii is amazing, too. I was in Hilo. I went through Hilo, and you drove, like, up by the mountain. Wait, is that the canyon? No, Hilo is just one of the cities in Hawaii.

Are you thinking about Kona? No, that's some... No, it's not Kona. It's on the Big Island. Waipu. We're talking about Waipu. We were just... We were there.

There was this canyon. Is that what... By the waterfall? Yeah. There was this literally thousand foot waterfall running right off the north west coast of the island i think of the big island yeah yeah wow it looked like jurassic park like it was legitimately like didn't they film that there probably i would imagine they did did they i think they did on oahu well they filmed lost

yeah they filmed okay it was amazing it was that was, we went in July with some really good friends of ours. And I've personally never been anywhere tropical, so that was my first time. Hawaii was your first tropical trip? Yeah, this, like, two months ago. It's the best one. But it's such a crazy one, too, because it's not just tropical. You know, there's the rainforest. Everything.

There's, like, the volcanic fields. People are cool as shit. I love Hawaiian people. You know, people always say like you'll you'll hear that like hawaiians like negative towards white people you know are negative towards mainlanders but i just think there's too many of us that are douchebags i think that's what it is we come over there and like you know how much my fucking airplane ticket cost to get over here to your fucking stupid island man and these people are like thinking my ancestors came over here in a fucking canoe bitch well it's like it's it's tough people fuck man who's kavika we met this guy named

kavika and he was helping we were staying in a place that was literally right on the beach so we could walk out 20 yards and be snorkeling and he was just instructing us about the wildlife. Don't touch that. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, we learned a little too late, though. Well, we learned in a way that he would have just shrugged off, you know, he just brushed it off his shoulder. This dude got an urchin or some sort of spine. They're like the spider urchin, the black spiky ones. I got one of those in my foot last year.

Me too, man. This dude had it impaled through his wrist. Wow. And you can't take it out. It's too brittle. He had it impaled through his wrist whoa and you can't take it out it's too brittle he had it in his wrist for a year it just happens and it slowly disintegrates it out yeah you know it's like okay that's whoa and like we both had you had one on your thumb yeah and i had one on my foot and like i felt it for like three months you know like it was i'd have these moments from like ah you know i went for a jog or whatever and i'm like my fucking

pinky toe it's all it's all swollen it's but went for a jog or whatever and I'm like, my fucking pinky toe. It's all swollen. But it's a great reminder too. It's just like, that's like the stars. I honestly think so. When you have that kind of interaction with nature and it's still there and you think,

fuck, that hurts, but it's because I did this. It's because I was in that environment and I need to be exposed to that shit. Well, you gotta get with some of them scuba shoes, girl. Yeah, why? Well, I had them on

and it was just that one little spot where you could get right through it. But you know, it's okay. I'm over it. I did. I was totally barefoot like a retard oh jesus with a four-year-old did you step on it yeah i stepped on it oh my god but the guys at the hotel they knew some shit and they had like some sort of vinegar solution yeah so they put it on it i put it on it for like 20 minutes and it was pretty good i worked out that night and it felt better like i felt like if i worked out on it too i'd like kind of smash it all up whatever's in there and it was pretty good. I worked out that night and it felt better. Like I felt like if I worked out on it too, I'd like kind of smash it all up

and whatever's in there and it would slowly make its way out. Well, and they make it, urchins make it really clear. They're not like, surprise,

I got you. They're like, I'm a spiky fucking thing. Don't touch me. Well, before I kicked it, I looked like a landmine. Before I kicked it,

I saw it and I reached for it and then I was like, Suzanne, maybe don't do that. And I was going to pick one up like a fucking idiot. How would you do that? Because I was fascinated. I've never it and then I was like, Suzanne, maybe don't do that. And I was going to pick one up like a fucking idiot. How would you do that?

Because I was fascinated. I've never been anywhere tropical. I know, but it's like you see like a rusty blade and you're like, I've never seen one Let me pick that up with my tongue. I wonder what it tastes like. You know what was amazing though? The sea turtles. Oh yeah.

Oh my God. They look like angels. I swear to God they looked into my soul. I totally, it was just, they were just right there. Yeah. Do you guys want to drink more of this whiskey? Yeah, I'll have some more. Yeah, I'm a big fan of all those animals.

We went swimming with dolphins, which was amazing. Oh, my God. I had my four-year-old with me in the water. I was holding on to her, and she's snorkeling with me. Oh, my God. I figure, like, I want to, like like expose her to as much really crazy shit early so it seems normal to her yeah you know like i've already started teaching her martial arts yeah yeah oh my god and the six-year-old's pretty good you know like and they probably take to that

stuff really naturally yeah i think it's i think there's certain aspects of like certain movement that are just normal and natural for people if you teach them how to do it but i think there's also like learned experience in d But anyway, the point is, she wasn't scared of going in the ocean and being with the dolphins because she didn't know any better. She's four. If I waited until she was nine and I said it, she might go, what?

What if there's a shark? But she's four. I'm like, it'll be fine. She's like, okay. We're there swimming around. I was on Kauai. I've been to Kauai twice, the time that we were talking about. One other time I was on Kauai. I've been to Hawaii twice the time that we were talking about and this one other time

I was on Kauai and I saw a family and we were on a dock and the dock was probably ten feet Off the water right and there's a bunch of family members in the water and then a dude Dangling a little kid off the side and the kids like ah fuck and then they just drop it sploosh Oh my god, and then they save it and it's fine, but that's the that's how they get used to it Well, you, they just... I don't know if I'm into that. No, either you're traumatized or you're Michael Phelps. That doesn't seem...

I don't think it works that way. I think it might. Ben, is that how Michael Phelps learned to swim? I don't think so. Why would you ask me like I know that? Well, because you just referenced him. No, but the point is that I think that could... Yeah, you have no data to back up your claims that that could create a Michael Phelps.

I was taking a little poetic license, and- Did you hear Michael Phelps got a second DUI? I saw that. Give that man his weed back. He likes to party. Give him his weed back. You're testing him for weed all the time. That's the problem.

No wonder why he's drunk. Yeah, we are. We got plenty more with that coming from him. Oh, shit. Plenty more. Just to defend my Michael Php statement one more time. We were talking earlier. Salute, my friend.

Shitty stories. Hold on. I'm not ready. Nice contact for good luck. Come on. Ben is slow with the cheers. I'm really sorry for serving you guys your drinks so slow. Damn, he turns it around on us.

Ben, I'm supposed to drive tonight, and you just poured me a bucket of whiskey. Would I ever say no to you? We have a car service. We have a car service. What? Can you call it Uber? No, no, we have a real car service. It's on staff.

Did you hear about the Uber driver who hit the guy in the face with a hammer? Hit the guy in the back seat? The passenger with a hammer? I thought they were in the front seat. I don't know. But the passenger. And I'm sure these stories

are going to just keep coming out, but first kind of Uber freak out that I'd'd heard of god damn it yeah okay this shit actually is unregulated who's in a seat was like really bad he could have been a dick maybe what's he doing with a hammer am i crazy you know what i'm talking about maybe the guy was trying to bite his dick uber hammer attack may clarify firm's responsibilities wow damn well they've definitely been is that the guy with the hammer wow oh yeah look at been oh my god you know for getting you with a hammer you know what can I can I tell you something I felt I don't know they've been expanding at a pretty miraculous rate like uber and

lyft are just growing and grow like more and more so if you're getting you know a higher volume of of employees coming in you're going to get crazy in there. Every now and again, right? Good point. Rational Suzanne. Proper rational Suzanne. Ask me another one. I feel ready.

What can we do about peace in the Middle East, Suzanne? Net pass. Smart move. Know what you know. Thank God. Know that you don't know what you don't know. That's what every fucking person on earth should say. You know what you don't know. Well, that's what every fucking person on earth should say. I don't know.

Well, you know what? I don't feel equipped or comfortable to get into that conversation, but I did tell you, you know, I'm reading a lot of Chomsky lately. Right. And it's such an argumentative subject that, like, I'd rather just talk about, you know, the wilderness and rats. And retail stores. Good call.

Because it's, you know what? Like, but also I feel like a fucking pansy at the same time. I was thinking about this this morning. Like, what do you stand for? Like, do you sit on the sidelines

and let it, you know, like, you have your relationship with it and you let it sort of transpire the way it's going to or,

you know. But there's already too many players on the field. You know what I'm saying? I agree. There's already like 15 aside

and they don't need more people being like, eh, I think each is good. But but without like but without like tooting our fucking horn here ben we have a platform that is continuing to grow and i'm not saying that that's our that's not what we're here for like we're here to play music and our platform and spread love and you know be you know what we are but at the same time we also have uh an opportunity to if there's something really important that we believe in to talk about it now i'm not saying i want to talk about peace in the middle east because i again i don't feel qualified for that but i had this like i had this reckoning this morning where i was like what are

you going to do suzanne like how are you going to handle this kind of energy if that's, you know, the right thing to, you know what I'm saying? Right, I see what you're saying. Sorry, I'm not kind of babbling. No, no, no, you're not. It's that angst of not really being able to fix some of the primary concerns of our culture.

Well, it's like doing our part, doing our part. I think you just said the perfect answer, which is we don't know. And it doesn't help the situation to just introduce energy into it, to be like, ah, that's fucked up. It's like, yeah, we which is we don't know. And it doesn't help the situation to just introduce energy into it, to be like, ah, that's fucked up. It's like, yeah, we all know it's fucked up. I think there's people that are compelled to fix the system.

There's people that are compelled to point out the flaws in the system. There's people that are compelled to inspire others. Maybe that's where you guys are. You might inspire others with your words or your music or your combination of your talent and your points of view might influence people's ideas. And then in turn, that sets. I think whenever someone who makes a lot of sense or someone who speaks in a way that makes you realign your perceptions of the world, when they communicate with folks and they put something in their head, those people may spread those ideas out and add to them and it goes further and further and further.

And then eventually all of that influences the culture in a more positive way. Then most protests or most, I mean, there's very few like really like angry, violent reactions. What they do is they cause people to become defensive they cause people to re-examine the situation but what causes people to really change themselves it's almost always inspiration it's almost always wanting to be inspired like if you see someone like have you ever gone to see like someone perform live and you just go fuck and you just want to go home and play and you just want to go home and practice right like that fuel you know like sometimes you'll go see a movie and it just it's so good you just want to go to the gym you know you know what i mean like sometimes these things happen you know talking about sometimes you're in your car and a fucking

song comes on it just changes your state you know you just all of a sudden you just feet you get that feeling washes over you fuck yeah you know and that those things like for you and you ben and suzanne for you and you joe this is your this is your avenue this is your avenue for change you just really set me and honestly i i i've been like thinking about this a lot i really appreciate that you don't need to everybody doesn't't need to try to fix the world. Everybody can't fix the world. We were talking about this on the drive over here a little bit. Well, yeah, and it's not about fixing the world.

It's just about making sure that I'm, I don't want to say doing what I'm supposed to do, but not sitting out when I should be. I'm kind of like... But I think the point of what he's saying is by following through on something you're passionate about, that is the best thing you can do because it creates those environments for other people. And having opinions. Expressing yourself once you've established... Like what you guys are doing, you're establishing your music, you've established, like what you guys are doing,

you're establishing your music, establishing your art, and then you have opinions. And then people go, God, this guy seems so cool and it makes sense. That doesn't make sense. Not all the time. You know what's crazy, though? To me. I've become more and more comfortable with opinions changing and my own opinions changing because I think I've actually been, which I didn't understand it as this but it's a

Conservative mindset to be like no, this is my opinion. I'm sticking to it. You know, I've been reading this Dylan book And there is the reason I'm bringing it up It's fascinating because you're I'm reading this all these interviews with him throughout his career and I just got to 1980 right and he this Is him like counterculture figure like fuck you guys. I'm doing it done by what I wanted In 1980 he's a born-again Christian. What? Legitimately. I didn't know that until the drive over here.

I was like, what the fuck? Christ is the way and the light. This is what I believe in. Bob Dylan was a born-again Christian? 110%. Wow. Honestly. And it's amazing to see this dude who's so comfortable and just like inhabiting what

he is experiencing at that time. He's looking it up, Ben. This is what I'm doing. He wants to double check. No, this shit is from the host's mouth. Wow. You know what I'm saying? But it's a shocker to see these words because this is just my upbringing.

When someone talks about Jesus that openly, I get kind of freaked out because of my shit, I guess. Yeah. But to hear him talk about this, it just like realigns me. Like, people fucking change. There's a BobDylanJesus.com page. There you go. Oh, my God.

The details. How fascinating. Bob Dylan's Jesus years. Yeah. He was so many. Bob Dylan's for Jesus for Jesus. So many different people. Yeah.

He has been. He's an artist. Yeah. You know, he takes chances when you really see in this uh uh just in reading these things this dude was using a persona and still is like bob dylan is something he he sets it aside from himself and that's how he figured out how he could create yeah you know what i mean he's like that's bob dylan and he's i i can kind of remove myself and do whatever the fuck i want now Now I'm kind of not blameless, but like disassociated almost.

Wow. I don't know about all that. Oh, I guess there's a documentary. Dismissed. There's a documentary. There's a film. This is a film. Inside Bob Dylan's Jesus Years is a film.

Ben, who's the guy from The Who? Which guy from The who which guy from the Townsend oh see the one that he was the one that got caught looking at child porn no, but he got cleared He got cleared man O'Reilly what's that? Yeah? That's right. He got clear masturbation. He got weird, but what does that mean that means like he was you? This is a dude who's been sexually molested as a child in his life, and he was doing Like a project trying to expose shit right you know was, this is a dude who's been sexually molested as a child in his life, and he was doing, like, a project trying to expose shit. Right.

You know, being like, this is fucked up. You know, and he kind of got outed for, and look, I mean, I'm not an expert on it, so I hope this doesn't bite. Right, I hope you're right. The situation. I hope you're right. I definitely don't want him to be a trauma lister. Healthy viewpoint. Yeah, I try to look towards the positive at all it was but he's an odd guy like he is he admit well he made a statement about homosexuality or about being a woman about he

had been a woman in his life and it was it was very strange because it was like this he had been a woman like in a past life no in a sexual sense like he had been the receiving end of male sex you know so he had like played oh so that yeah are we talking about butt sex no i what are we talking about i think you'd have to talk did brian just go um pete townsend creeper here'll read you the quote. I'm so excited about my protein powder, Joe. I'm glad you're happy. I really am. Ladies and gentlemen, Ben Jaffe is going to be bulking up. What are you doing to bulk up? Well, first of all, my back

is hooked, so I'm doing a lot of core shit. This is his quote. I know how it feels to be a woman because I am a woman. Fine. I'm just telling you. What's we are we unsuccessfully what's more important man your back is temporarily hurt or the time where being gay okay sorry did he talk about being gay

when he had his first period or i don't know if you call it a period when it's a man's butt it's not like an egg got dropped just checking you were not a woman for having butt sex yeah you're not right you're not do you accept um a woman who's like like a transgender woman do you accept that as a pure woman absolutely but she starts complaining about her period and you're like listen bitch i know you ain't got no period. You need to stop pretending every month. You're freaking out. Maybe I don't have my period. You don't have your fucking period.

You used to have a penis. And I'll call you Dolores, but you stop bitching about your fucking period. No. I was going to say, I am hanging out with you. If you don't think there's some transgender woman out there bitching about her period, you have no imagination. I guarantee you, of all our transgender friends out there that are listening, I'll fucking, I'll bet you. Wait, first of all, let's backtrack.

So you had Buck Angel on the show. Yes, Buck Angel. Was that a dream? We talked about it? We talked about Buck Angel. Well, I'd always wanted to have him on the show. He's cool as fuck. He's fucking awesome.

He's a really nice guy. He's a really nice guy. He's a really nice guy. And I'm very flexible with my ideas about gender. Totally. I don't begrudge anybody their own sexual proclivities, their own ideas about gender conformity and about gender identity. I have been in this battle with a lot of transgender people over the last year or so but it's purely because of one individual it's purely because of a woman

who used to be a man she was a man for 30 years and started mma fighting against women and uh i was like i know who you're talking about yeah i was like i don't i said a bunch of rude mean mean shit there's some things that we don't know that you know that I know. You know what I mean? I'm not okay with that. I said a bunch of rude, mean shit. You know, that if I thought about the possibility that would make other transgender people feel bad, I probably wouldn't have said it again.

But the reality is that it's one thing to say that you're a woman, but it's another thing to say that there's not some crazy mechanical advantages to the male frame that you don't lose when you transition to being a woman. It's not, there's a 10% increase in reaction time. Men have a quicker reaction time by 10% across board. Was she accepted into the league? In some states. Is it a league? See, that's the other thing I don't even have a problem With a man Like Having a fight with a woman

Like an actual man Having a fight with a woman If they both agree on it Right If the woman knows She's fighting a man And the man knows He's fighting a woman

And they both agree If you can fucking ride bulls Okay Which we can Which you can Why can't you fight Why can't a woman decide She wants to beat the shit

Out of a man And see if she can do it If they both weigh the same No reason Why not Hey Joe Hey Ben How's the record Hi not hey joe hey ben how's the record hi agenda how's it how's the record how's the record the record does did she win a lot oh yeah that's like every time it's not just win win in like really quick violent ways that's horrible okay yeah well she lost once

though she lost once to some badass bitch thing she lost She lost once. But it's just like, you know, all due respect, not trying to be mean, her skill level is very rudimentary. I watched her movements and there's nothing substantial about it. There's like, there's some MMA fighters. But is it just brute force? Well, no. There's definitely technique involved. She definitely knows a lot of technique.

She definitely trains hard. There's no doubt about it because she's fighting five minute rounds or uh i don't know if they fight five minute rounds in a lot of these female organizations sometimes they lower the number of minutes but she's definitely talented she definitely can fight there's no doubt about it um it's not like she's some horrible amateur that has no idea what she's doing because she's knocking people out you know whether or not she's knocking you know they call cisgender, that's what they like to call. Transgender people like to call people that were born a certain gender called cisgender. What is that?

I don't know what it stands for. No one knows. No one knows. It's popcorn. Why do you call it popcorn? You just do. Okay. Okay.

You pop the corn. You pop the corn. I think I do know why they call it popcorn. Why is Kool-Aid Kool-Aid? I don't know. Because it's fucking cool. It's a band-aid. It's not that cool. It's going to help you out.

It's not that cool. It'll give you diabetes. Sorry. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. See, but for the first few fights, she didn't admit that she used to be a man. Oh, that's weird. And she said that it wasn't something they required of her, and she thought it was a mental or it was a medical.

Yes. Okay. Or I don't know. I don't know. I shouldn't say. I don't know exactly how it came out. But the people that fought her that didn't know that she used to be, man, we're pretty fucking upset. Honestly, this is so interesting.

This is fascinating that at this day and age, this is an argument that we have. It's like you have to label something and then it's like, well, is it this or is it that? And it's both things. And then it's like well is it this or is it that and it's both things you know it's like If like is is Buck Angel a let like the butchiest of lesbians or is Buck Angel a man Right, you know I mean like first of all I respect Buck, and I think that he's great. We met him He's great, but like at the same time. I'm kind of like just kind of Fascinated by the the whole conversation to begin with yeah well i think most of them sorry go ahead i was just gonna say i i think it doesn't

to most rational people it doesn't really make a different a difference it's like self-definition you can call yourself whatever you want i think it's when people start proselytizing about it that's a problem that that's because then oh i don't know it's invasive in this issue my only concern is that it's a personal safety issue sure and there's there's sort of like a i don't know, it's invasive. In this issue, my only concern is that it's a personal safety issue. Sure. And there's sort of like a, I don't know, fuck, I don't want to get involved in an argument with anyone on the internet. But it almost sort of feels like an unfair advantage. Well, no, it's an unfair advantage.

It is. It is an unfair advantage. It doesn't mean that the woman isn't going to win or the other woman isn't going to win. isn't going to win or the other woman isn't going to win. What it does mean is just that the physical advantage, it's often like you can overcome physical advantage with technique, but you shouldn't have to. There's a certain amount of physical advantage where I don't know. I don't think the studies have really been done on fighters. I think there's been some studies on athletes and athletes' reaction, but I think the difference

between being a man who transitions into being a woman and competing in Olympic volleyball is very different than being a man who used to be a woman who transitioned to combat sports. Because you're essentially dealing with having an advantage and dealing out concussions. And that's a fucking, it's a big deal. There's a difference in the way we're shaped. There's a difference in the way we're shaped. You know, and the broader shoulders of the male, the larger hands, the more narrow hips, the different geometry of the body. The beautiful curve of the brow.

Yes. Tony Morgan. The sweat dripping off the buttocks. Well, gotta go. See you guys later. The jaw is so wide. We'll be fine in here without Jesus. Accommodate my cock and balls. Gargle. Careful, he's got an angry dick, remember? No, no. He's very furious right now. jaw is so wide we'll be flying in here without Jesus my cock and balls gargle

careful he's got an angry dick remember he's very furious right now all this fucking transgender talk is making him angry

Joe I have a question have you ever fought a woman no no I sparred with them way way way back in the day

in taekwondo never in kickboxing but in taekwondo class sometimes you have to spar with them but I never hurt one. I love playing basketball with women. Do you? Honestly. I bet you do.

No, I really do. Everybody gets sweaty. Doesn't mean anything. You bump up against each other. Right on the back. You make your jokes. That's fine. I got a valid point here. That's okay. Get it out. Have you ever gotten a boner while playing basketball? Have you ever gotten a semi? What? did that come

out no but honestly everybody chills out and everyone just plays i think it's your kind of more on your volleyball tip in the sense that people are playing the game then it's not about like i'm gonna fucking elbow this guy in the face i'm gonna play physical it's like people are actually applying the techniques there's some serious basketball drama it's it's almost like it's like when dudes, well, in general, like extracurricular, and I'm not talking about martial arts and like actual training

that you're involved with. My experience with extracurricular sporting activities are kickball and basketball and softball. Those are huge in my world. And it's amazing because people get so into it

and the ones that like get angry. Oh, yeah. And you're like, we're here to have fun but at the same time that kind of sometimes also makes it more fun because then there's that guy that everybody can be like wow look at fucking i don't know ted when we were in boston we used to have a comedian softball game okay every monday oh my god i think it was comics we get together and fucking yell at each other it was fucking safe but screaming oh it's so funny that's the jam p.s honey honey is very athletic we love all sports so if you guys want to get down you guys all right we'll fucking throwing the gauntlet down heavy bat you know what i'm saying yeah fucking road roadkill ghost choir right now you know roadkill ghost choir you'll be going back and forth to them on twitter really a bunch

of this stuff they open a show for us. Oh, they're the best. They're really fucking good, man. That's amazing. What a small world. You guys are the best. No, it's okay. They're also awesome.

Everybody can be the best. I really like those guys, though, a lot. They're awesome. They're fucking badass. They sent me one of their CDs. It's cool. Ben, was that in Nashville? Very nice.

Hey, I love it. This has got a dick on it. What is this? What is this? This is a hotel key kid who the fuck are you is that a suggestion what are you doing who knew this podcast would be so dark homo homo friendly you know you know what we shouldn't be? We shouldn't be hetero We shouldn't be hetero negative

Hetero exclusive That's what we shouldn't be First of all I did not mean to say that I think you did I think you came from A deep part of yourself That is speaking

To millions of people First of all First of all I'm part gay Secondly How much? 20%? I don't know I can

20% sexy 50% confusing I would say I'd say I'm 35 Damn Like every few years That's a good number Every few years

Give a chick a drunk And sloppy kiss Yeah That's enough Nothing wrong with that No Men are not Granted those

Kind gestures Go ahead No Go ahead Ask him Have you ever kissed a man Never Okay

Never Do you want to No But I did allow myself Go ahead. Ask anybody. Have you ever kissed a man? Never. Okay. Never. Do you want to? No. But I did allow myself to ponder. Yeah? Well, you got to. When I was wondering about this Mick Jagger, David Bowie thing. Yes.

And I was thinking, okay. Okay. Maybe, am I like really wrapped up tight and connected to this idea, not just of heterosexuality, but of lifelong heterosexual practice exclusively. Like, am I so wrapped up in that that I couldn't, like, give a man a kiss? And then I was like, you better shut the fuck up, homo. I said that to myself. I said that to myself.

I'm trying to plant these thoughts in my head. You gay-bashed yourself. Yes, I gay-bashed myself. Because I was trying to, I was wondering, I was like, okay, these guys, I always, I do little things where I will try to experience things or go places or put my mind or my consciousness

in an unusual situation because I think that when you have unusual experiences, whether it's even even if you like watch unusual dvds or go to a strange place you take in new information that new information interacts with all the other information in your head and you form maybe new creative ideas so i think like as a person who tries to be creative it's good to have as many experiences as possible but whoa there's a certain line that i go i just don't think i could do that when i look at like mick jagger and david bowie i'm like i wonder if they were like

fuck it fuck everything man fuck homophobia fuck i'm a man you're a man fuck i'm only attracted to women that's a quintessential rock star though I think those are dudes with a different spectrum than you, though. Maybe. Not to, I don't know your spectrum. It could also be drug-induced delirium. Sure. And going through the, you know, I think those dudes at that time had probably been through enough to say, I've seen, I've been to the limit.

You know, I've seen the edge of the cliff that but that's the old adage like if you suck enough uh dicks one day you're gonna want to have sex with a woman like if a gay guy gets to some breaking point i feel like that all the time a hundred million dicks in his ass and mouth he's like enough blizzard of dick enough i want a woman well it doesn't happen but but does it happen the other way? Where a man, a straight man, has so many different female partners that one day he needs. Okay, they fucked. I want to be the guy that says it. They're so snuggly.

I want to be the guy that says it. Who is the little spoon? Let me tell you something. If you're lying on someone's shoulder and they put their arm around like that, what you do is you reach up with the left arm, you protect the neck. It's very important. That's totally what he's about to do.

Don't use the thumb like this. You want to do it like this. You want to cup it and don't let go of that wrist. Pin it down to your chest. Then you got to

shrimp out. I know you guys know about shrimp out. Shrimp out! Hello! Hashtag shrimp out. Oh man, everybody, it's so great.

It's so great at the show. Sometimes people will just be like, Ben, shrimp out. And it's like, yeah. It's so funny. That's true. That is the only podcast. What a beautiful thing.

What a beautiful part of our history here, Joe. Oh, that's Lou Reed. Wasn't that Lou Reed? Is he cussing? That's David Bowie. I know David Bowie, but that looks like Lou Reed on the left. It is Lou Reed. Yeah.

David Bowie's a goddamn, or Steve Guttenberg. David Bowie's a goddamn freak. He's a slut. Reed on the left. It is Lou Reed. David Bowie's a goddamn freak. Or Steve Guttenberg. David Bowie's a goddamn freak. He's a slut. He's a slut. Just slinging dick all over town. He's the motherfucking man. He's the man. Oh, dude.

Do you know what, though? I think that's... Ground Control to Major Tom. I think that is the ultimate form of... That's Elton John. That's Elton John. But that's a great song, too. Same shit.

I'm talking about the face. Sorry, Ground Control, Major Tom, whatever. You guys are just adorable. It's fucking so cute. Let me bond with joe why aren't you wearing matching t-shirts i didn't know i didn't know i didn't get my penguin package remember when you're kids and people would have like fake alligator shirts they would take we would give you some of our stuff but your muscles are too big glue gooing out i'll wear your shit

you won't fit fuck we should have brought We have new shirts Hold on Can I say something That's very relevant And important to this podcast You have a listener Who made us a piece of artwork Be careful what you say Well look

Dude we've treated him With the utmost legal respect I'm not even kidding He did He made two bills His name is Bill Patterson And he put two dollar bills And put

They were one dollar bills Yeah yeah We made shirts out of that Dude that's like our merch that's a great picture. That's him. We have to get you guys t-shirts. Oh, my God. Why didn't we bring those?

Fucking drop the ball. Hey, guys, we live in the same town now. It's going to be fine. You guys aren't living in Tennessee anymore. We don't have apartments. Do you have a spare bedroom? Joe, Joe, when are we going hunting? When you want to.

All the time. What do you want to shoot? Now. What do you want to eat? I. What do you want to eat? I think we're, it's looking like we're here in November. I might. Okay. Honey hunting.

Honey hunting goes pig hunting. I'm down with that. Wild pig hunting. We have the most likelihood of success, like of anything that we could do in like a close range, but we have to take you guys. Have you shot rifles before? Yeah. Yes.

Both of you? Come on. Yes. For real? Oh yeah. Together. With two fingers on the same trigger, brother. just kidding that never happened it's a band yeah music they're a team no but uh you posted something and i i mistakenly thought it was you of the

my friend cameron haynes drawing a bow on an elk but it really made me think the caption underneath it because it was talking about the practice and the discipline that it took to be able to make that shot and not hit the deer in the fucking haunch so it's it's crippled for the rest of his life but not dead and that gave me a new respect for hunting honestly because i was like i don't want to go out there and and shoot something yes and it won't you don't trophy hunt though i mean no it's not about trophy hunting it's about doing not being a good enough shot or not being skilled enough to be able to kill the animal in a humane way. Well, it is possible if you go out hunting that you could miss. And Cam has missed.

Cameron Haynes has missed. Steven Rinello is my friend who's a master hunter. He has missed. And they have all wounded animals. It is a part of the process. If you deny that part of the process if you deny that part of the process you're being dishonest sure but you need to practice due diligence to make sure that you minimize that in as much as is possible and what cam haynes post was about

my friend cameron haynes is a world famous bow hunter i mean there's very few bow hunters that are world famous but he's a maniac. He runs ultra marathons. Oh, my God. He regularly runs marathons. He's run two marathons in a weekend. He's run like a Friday marathon. Is that the end of the world? Could be.

Here it comes. What the fuck is that? I'm glad to be with you guys. Holy shit. Happy to be with you guys. That's a really loud engine. In the bunker. Is that the Ebola plane? Oh, Jesus.

What the fuck was that? So we're sitting here. Holy shit. I thought Redman was doing something weird. And it almost sounded, it's so loud, like a jet. It sounded like a fucking jet was going to crash in Canoga Park. Hey, if this is it right now, like. I love you guys, too.

I love you. I mean that. I do. This is okay. We've been talking about meteor impacts on the show lately. Yeah. Brian Callen and I got obsessed with meteor impacts. We were on Prince of Wales.

We started talking about all the various meteor impacts and super volcanoes that have happened over the past X amount of years. Brian's back. Anything? Did you get any info? What's the intel? We should probably start checking the news sites What do you think?

Top gun jets Flying I mean it's crazy You know Obama's in town Still? I heard some shit this morning too I don't know It's mayhem

They came to get mayhem Was he here yesterday? Is he here today as well? Because he was here yesterday I don't know Maybe he left today And he's on one of those Fucking jets

I don't know Find out I'm sad now Is this going to be like This is the end here at the podcast? Do you have enough snacks? I think we're almost out of whiskey. Oh, my God. If we can get the fucking Taliban in the same room and give them some hash, we all eat it together.

We could work this motherfucker out. You know, we'll bring the entertainment musical part. Musical entertainment. What's going to happen is we're going to read, it's going to be the end of the world, and we only have five minutes left, and then you two are going to kiss. Could you, me and Ben, or me and Suzanne?

This is very important. We could do a three-way kiss. If it's the end of the world, since this is it, if this is our last time here on Earth, Brian, will you please say world? World. W-O-R, thank you. say world world? Oh art. Thank you He says derby RL

It's the end you could say world once Yeah, that wasn't good that was weird it was so loud we're inside of a building Hey, you know like a pretty thick assass fucking regular-ass. Everyone's outside. We're going to be okay. Are people standing outside? Everyone's outside. Really? Yeah. That's why we should really look at Twitter.

Yeah, okay. What is it? Anybody catch anything? I guarantee it's just some people fucking showing off. Oh, my God. They're probably jerking off while they're flying really low. Holy shit. Quit. Quit this fucking job.

What's the best way? You got to jerk off. Zero-G jerk. Jerk off while you're flying. Go 1,000 miles an hour, 15 feet off the ground, go. I couldn't do it, man.

Too much pressure. I could do it. Well, even if you don't come, at least you can say you did it. Then what's the point? I was jerking off. Did you really do it then? Most people won't even

question you any further. I was jerking off in a jet 15 feet off the ground going a thousand miles an hour. Was your dick hard? Why are you asking me that? Leave me alone. All you have to do is just start pulling on your dick and technically speaking you were jerking off.

You flaccid I don't know. I think you have to be out and really go into town to be jerking off. That's just fondling. That's not true though because you don't have a penis. A man can be three quarters hard, half hard and still have the saddest orgasm of the year.

You know what? I'll be honest with you. Jerk of shame. I know what you're talking about. Girls can have fucking mini orgasms too and it's like, that was okay. Yeah, but it's not shameful.

That was like, could all stimulation. It's not shameful. There's a feeling of guilt, man. Here's the difference. If a girl calls up a friend that's a guy, say a girl calls up a boyfriend and says,

I was just masturbating I had like a half an orgasm the guy will go I'll come over take care of that anybody wait first of all

is he okay Joey Diaz you need to take care of that sounds like a vocal fry but if a guy calls up a girl he has sex with and he goes

I couldn't even totally get it up I just came all over myself gross the girl will be like you're fucking gross the girl will be like click boo A girl he has sex with and he goes, I couldn't even totally get it up. I just came all over myself. Gross. The girl would be like. You're fucking gross. The girl would be like, click. No, I'd be like, do you want to watch a movie?

Yeah. She'd be like, do you want to just spoon then? Do you want to watch Breaking Bad reruns? Yeah. What? That's so hot. Say it again. Up, done, see ya.

Yeah. What? Do you guys think we're okay outside? Should I call my mom? Fuck the world. We were just talking about non-voting. We were. We definitely were. Being beaten down by this fucking stupid system that's been in place since we were

babies. We didn't ask for this stupid system. We were born into it. This goofy ass system. How do we work our way out of it without being involved? Look, hold on. I have a yellow notepad and I'm going to take notes. this goofy ass system. You dummies. How do we work our way out of it without being involved? We'll get Ben trying to fix the world. Look, hold on. I have a yellow notepad

and I'm going to take notes. This is what I honestly think. I think it's happening whether we like it or not. It just takes a lot of time and it's very confusing. It's very confusing along the way and we're in the middle of it.

It's a hurricane. We're in the middle of the storm and we've taken this crazy weather, fucking cows and semis flying through the air. We've taken it as being normal did you just quote the movie Twister

no I sort of did visually in my mind I was thinking about a news footage one of the most impressive news videos

I ever saw was this Dallas video we played on the podcast of these semi trailers in a tornado that were flying through the air just spinning around

in the air like they were like paper cups and they were paper cups, and they were semis. That's terrifying. That's another testament of the fucking miraculous thing, the ocean. I got you, Doug.

Yeah, I got you too, Doug. Nature gives zero fucks. So I have an idea. I have an idea. Please. Hold on, I'll write it down. About the subject matter that we were discussing. Subject matter.

Stop writing it down. So I think the world is in a crazy place, as we were discussing. Yes. And, you know, there are people that are really, really, really fucking smart intellectually, can analyze and overanalyze and just inside out. Ben's right there. He's right there. Just call it what it is.

Just say it. His name's Ben. No, Ben, you're a fucking brilliant motherfucker, and I love you, and I'm so glad you're my partner. I'm writing that down. I love you, too. Okay? All right? We're having a good time.

But. But. He's got his issues, let's be honest. There's no but. I'm a good listener. You're a great listener. What are you talking about? Great, great. Stop bringing yourself down listener. What are you talking about?

Macro penis. Great, great. Stop bringing yourself down. Did you say maco penis? Micro. Oh, micro. It's all about precision, bro. It's a bad attempt at a penis joke.

Precision. No, it's not. I'm staying out of this one. Because guess what? There's not a lot of precision involved when you're caught in a sleeve. Okay? What is important? But it's all about what part of the sleeve?

That's what I was thinking. Force and focus. Is that a force? You're joking because Ben's Jewish. No, vagina being like a physical sleeve. Sleeve, hood, what's the difference? That envelops the penis. That's all I'm saying.

Hold on, now I really do need to write this down. The penis goes in the vagina? It's inside. Well, you can go outside. You gotta be really good at it, though. You gotta be really good at it. The slapping and the crying You can't spit in everyone's mouth

You can't try it on everyone You gotta know I'm gonna need to be proven wrong on that It's like a terrible joke You have to know when you can get away with it And you don't know why you know I'm so glad I didn't tell my mom about this podcast today When a girl sticks her tongue out

And you just spit on it And she just swallows it And you know This party is about to get fucking serious When she doesn't even flinch When a girl sticks her tongue out and you just spit on it and she just swallows it. I know. This party is about to get fucking serious. When she doesn't even flinch. She sticks her tongue out. You grab her in the back right here and you spit in her mouth.

And she just reaches her head up and tongues you and whoa. And then she's like, I know I'm about to get some double penetration. You can't even believe you spit in her mouth. And you can't even believe that she just swallowed it to let you know how gangster she is. No, there's a camera in that room. No, no, no. Ben, why do you gotta go there? I don't know. It's all I need to do. Ben, why did you have to take the beauty out of it? I just want to capture it. There's a lot of beauty in spitting

in people's mouths. I saw Tate spit in someone's mouth. Were you there? Remember that one? Don Barris gets it almost once a week. I was gonna say something about... No, I was gonna say something like really deep and sensitive but I don't want to say it. My friend Tate is a complete and total savage.

OG savage. Original Death Squad crew. Tate is an animal. And he was making out with this girl once and she goes spit in my mouth. Oh no. He just pulls her hair back

and fucking spits right in my mouth. Are we talking moogie? In front of everybody. I didn't look around. Again. It's happening again. Did we run outside? Jamie just ran outside.

There you go. Jamie, bring your camera. Brian ran outside too. What the fuck is going on? Is this going to be Red Dawn? We're close to a naval base. I don't think this is that big of a deal. If this is Red Dawn, I'm so grateful to be where we are. Here's the problem, white privilege.

We're sitting here in fucking Canoga Park thinking about what's going on. Did you just call us white privilege? Me too. There's fighter jets going over. That doesn just call us white privilege? Me too. Oh. Me too. There's fighter jets going over. That doesn't have

anything to do with race, brother. Bro, I'm kind of keeping going. Do you think it's Russia? And it's all going to make sense. Sorry, sorry.

What I'm saying is we look at war as something that happens in another place and we support war. If we do support war, we never think that it has to come

anywhere near us. We never think that it has to come anywhere near us. We never think that it has to come anywhere near us. We just don't. We think that it's happening in Iraq. It's happening in Afghanistan. It's been happening there for 12 fucking years. More than that. Thousands of years. Sure. But with us.

Yeah, no, I get it. What'd you see, Jamie? He's going to make sure it's okay. Well, he is one of the best investigative reporters in the Los Angeles area. So if Brian Redband is on the case, he's out there smoking a cigarette. He's going to come back inside. He is smoking a cigarette, isn't he? Of course he is.

Motherfucker. Of course he is. He can't help himself. He's a junkie. Poor bastard. You don't need to do that. Those vape pens don't work. Do you want to go out there with him and smoke a cigarette?

No. I don't smoke anymore. I don't smoke anymore. And I that Those vape pens don't work Do you want to go out there with them And smoke cigarettes? No The pull, the draw I don't smoke anymore And I quit my vape pens I found out there was formaldehyde in them Strength That might be fucking R.J. Reynolds propaganda Whatever, I feel fine

I don't smoke them anymore I have more energy You felt bad before? No, I definitely felt more like tension Look at you You know what? I've been taking the yoga the yoga i feel so good i feel so at peace and i'm so happy i'm serious yoga is so good so good whenever i do it i go god damn i should do this more often it's fucking what kind of yoga

you do honey i do a bunch of different kinds but i like fucking people talk shit about beacons well you know i like calling it hot yoga because apparently i'm not i don't even feel bad saying this beacom the guy who developed this uh this brand which is a series of poses and he kind of took for himself as his own is a douche like allegedly allegedly i don't know i don't know he's just gonna give you enlightenment through the head of his penis okay Okay. Everybody has a different method. Some have koans. Is the sound of one hand clapping any more offensive than him trying to fuck you?

Speaking of enlightenment. I'm going to say yes. Go ahead and answer that confidently. You just said yes. Sure. You said it's more offensive. It's more. The sound of one hand clapping is more offensive.

I misspoke. I fucked it up. I'm sorry. I blew it. You just sound like a rape apologist right there. You asshole. Hate. Everyone's got their opinion.

White privilege. Rape apologist. Asshole. Oh, man. Asshole. I'm part South American. Oh, okay. Well, at least you're Spaniard.

Yeah. I'm thinking native, actually. Whoa. Yeah. Went there. A little bit. Ooh. Redemption.

I'm driving. Joey Diaz always. Yeah. Went there. A little bit. Ooh. Redemption. I'm driving. Joey Diaz always says that about our pal Eddie Bravo. Eddie Bravo will get a couple drinks and get a little freaky. Eddie Bravo's great. I love Eddie Bravo. Love that guy. He's my brother. But Eddie Bravo, he even adopted the phrase, Joey Diaz called it when the Indian comes

out, because South Americans are essentially like Mexicans, and especially are Indians, mixed with Spaniards. Okay. They didn't originally speak. Yes. Okay. Yeah. And Spaniards. The Incas and the Spaniards.

I mean, that's the root of a lot of people from Mexico. That's why there's like Spaniard, like Oscar de la Hoya looking Mexicans. And then there's- The Oaxacans. That's more of a- Well, there's some Mexicans that look very Native American Oaxacans that's more of a well there's some Mexicans that look very Native American right

you know yeah but that's what Joey Diaz would say the Indians coming out look at Eddie Bravo that fucking Indians coming out

it's Indians and their notorious issues with alcohol dude my you raised your hand like you were a cop

well I'm I'm my grandmother is half Ojibwe Chippewa Indian. Do you get money from the casino? No, not the casino. But if I wanted to go to school and live on a reservation, I could receive the benefits.

I know, I'm white as goat cheese, but it's true. You're half a grandma. My Grammy, yeah. Grandma's half, so mom's a quarter. Yeah, so I'm pretty much drunk after two drinks. I'm fucking wasted. You're an eighth? I'm an eighth, yeah. Wow. Do you get fucking wasted. You're an eighth? I'm an eighth.

Wow. Do you get money up to you're like a 16th, right? Nobody. Getting money, that's very complicated. Like you have to be sort of in, you have to live on a reservation. You have to be. Are you willing? No. At one point I thought about it, but I'm in Los Angeles.

I don't want to move back to Minnesota. Chumash. You can go to the Chumash. Not that I lived in minnesota ever but that's where a lot of my family is from oh there's a couple reservations yeah there's the casinos well yeah some of the casinos are owned by native americans well yeah i know that but i didn't realize there's a reservation here's an you got a fun fact i got a fun fact too it's actually an unfun fact but in the state of california in the casinos why do i I know this? Because I like to gamble. You can't throw dice.

It's illegal to throw dice in the state of California. So if you want to play craps, which I love to play, they have a deck of cards and they flip two cards and then you attribute that to... Ew. Yeah, it's gross. Well, you have to use cards instead of fucking dice. You can't roll the cards. Red Band, what's going on? Are we going to live?

There's just fighter jets everywhere. I'm telling you, it's Red Dawn. Did you lock the door on your way back in? Fighter jets LA. Yeah, there's a lot of people like, hey, we're hearing all these fighter jets. And then in San Francisco, there was a couple of hours earlier. We have to accept the fact that we're doing some creepy shit in other countries. And if it comes back to haunt us, Look, these people are slowly showing up with Ebola.

The guy in Dallas died. Yeah. Someone else is... Spain. There's a nurse in Spain. Someone flew... I mean, but in this country. I'm not going to Spain.

Sorry. My fault. Some woman just came here from, I think it was Liberia or something like that, and she has... In Los Angeles? Police advise motorists to avoid portions of West Side due to Obama visit. So it might be that. He's here still. Isn't that crazy?

So I got to say something. The power that that dude travels around with. Well, that position. If it was Mitt Romney, it would be the same power. Sure. I'm not attributing it to him, but we were talking to a friend. Where is Mitt Romney? We were talking to a friend. What is Mitt Romney? What's he been doing?

He's reading the Mormon Bible. Let's talk about that. Fine. You know what I think? You do know what you think. You know what he thinks? You don't, because you didn't say it. Actually, most of the time I do, to be honest with you.

If you had to guess, what do you think he was thinking? We share the same goddamn brain. If you had to think what you think he'd be thinking right now. He's like, oh, I want to play guitar. No. I did. No, you're talking about Obama. You're talking about Obama wielding power.

What were you going to say? No, I was just, you know, no, Ben, do you want to talk? Yeah, I was talking to him. It's okay. He's thinking, Suzanne, I want to talk and you interrupted me. Listen, you guys are just both polite. That's why this is awkward. If one of you is a bulldog,

you just control this conversation. There's this mean kid in junior high who used to call me bulldog. That fucking motherfucker. He had a crush on you. Of course he did. You know what? Where's he now?

Bad game. Why didn't you develop sooner? Well, here's what you need to learn about a lot of dudes. Nobody teaches us how to talk to girls. We just sort of have to figure it out when we're 13. And we do a terrible job for the first 7 or 14 years of our lives. And then somewhere around 30, we slowly start to get it together. That's why a lot of girls date older guys.

And then you get into trouble. Why were you better then? What was your approach? It's what I was talking about with writing before earlier. I think I just let it flow. Oh, you let it flow back then. I wasn't too worried about it. Now you calculated.

Now you're looking for Mrs. Ben. Now I'm being okay. I'm getting better. Better? Mm-hmm. How bad were you at your worst? When you're like, I've hit rock bottom. Probably 24, 25.

What were you doing back then? It's just kind of like an air of desperation in everything I said. Oh, it's so sad. Really? Yeah, sure. I've got to think about this. Where the fuck are we? Well, because I've never had like the single years.

You know what I mean? I've always been like the girlfriend. One girlfriend, next girlfriend. Yeah. That's what I've done. Yeah. Single years are great if you're successful. But if you're unsuccessful, it's horrible and lonely.

It can be very sad. Well, and there's also that sort of like stigma of like, I'm the man. I need to take the lady out and impress her. But it's like, I've been sleeping on my friend's couch for two months. Do you want to go out? Yeah. There's also that thing that you realize like when you're really struggling as an artist, I guess, as a musician. Definitely as a comedian comedian it's very

similar but you don't you know you know you don't have any money you have nothing yeah you have pure wits i don't believe in that shit that can go a long way i think that if if wherever you're at and who you are and where you're going is up to you know where you're going is up to whatever. I don't fucking know. Allah? The ether. The ether? Stop it. Stop playing guitar. Can we say Buddha? Yeah, sure.

Buddha. But, you know, when you meet somebody that's like, I think you're fucking awesome. I don't care that you're not where you want to be financially or professionally. I think you're awesome. That's the best kind. What you need to do is run a background check on that motherfucker and find out if he's just using you for your apartment. Definitely.

When was the last time? How come you never go home, man? Where's your clothes? You need to have your own toothbrush, you fucking weirdo. Oh, man. You're wearing my deodorant. Go ahead. Sorry.

Man, I dated two guys that wore women's deodorant. I like it. It smells like peaches. But I wear men's deodorant, so take that for what it's worth. What kind of men's deodorant do you wear? I wear Dove. Actually, it's in my purse. Brian Callen just told me about some natural deodorant that I have to try.

He said it's like an aloe vera-based deodorant that really works. It's a natural deodorant. And he's the first one to tell you that natural deodorants are most most of the time they're bullshit yeah they don't last long usually it's usually they last a couple hours but it depends how smelly you are i'm stinky mother yeah you are do you want some deodorant i've got some right here strong enough for a man made for men i'm yeah i'm not that guy strong enough for man but made for a woman? No. No, if I put it on, there's going to be problems.

Okay. What type of problems, Joe? Like my smell. Like your pit hair is going to get stuck in my deodorant. My smell will go to war with that wimpy-ass fucking flowery, fruity bullshit. I said I wear men's deodorant. No, I understand.

Yeah, I got your back. Strong enough for men, but made for a woman? Was that like sure? Secret. Secret. Secret? Secret. It's strong enough for men, but, but made for a woman? Was that like sure? Secret. Secret. Secret. It's strong enough for a man, but it's made for a woman. Secret.

Isn't that funny how like one advertising slogan like that can just fucking give a hoot, don't pollute. That's stuck. That's stuck. Skittles, taste the rainbow. It's great. It's the real thing. Coke.

The real thing. Coke's the real thing. I'm desperately to think of one. It'll clean your car battery. That's for real thing, Coke. The real thing. Coke's the real thing. I'm trying to test the way you think of one. It'll clean your car battery. That's for sure. What? Yeah. I had a Coca-Cola yesterday, which I hadn't had in years.

You had a few sips, and I had the other few sips. Nope, drained the whole thing when you weren't there. No, you didn't, because I had a, okay. How do you feel about yourself as a man? Kind of bad. Honestly, I wasn't into it. When we find out that some people drink like eight or nine of those in a day. That's crazy.

That is horrifying. Or like, you know, when we're on the road people drink like 8 or 9 of those in a day that's crazy that is horrifying or like you know when we're on the road you see truckers come in with like a fucking big gulp like the whole thing

and they'll fill the whole thing up with Mountain Dew and the whole time I'm like oh my god cancer like I just think about that

it's so bad for you Jesus Christ recently I looked at some truckers sorry I love everybody don't drink that shit just drink water

and then drink beer later, the good stuff. I've been saying that for years. I was looking at the back of some trucker's truck and they were advertising four more drivers and they said 50 cents a mile or something. And the average is 6,000 miles. You can't exceed a certain mileage limit. And I realize what these dudes are doing.

Because sometimes I actually think about this because we drive so much and I'm like, if this doesn't work out, what am I qualified to do? Music is what I meant. I could be a be a truck driver honestly because i've driven so fucking much sometimes i think about this you don't fucking believe that coming to my head um and why do you think about that why do i think about that yeah i don't know just like a residual hey man you got it like uh uh fear you know residual fear From saying Okay You're confronting Something

Yeah I think it's a very Natural thing You know what I mean I'm going into A risky thing You know what You could always

Come work for my We could sell pizza together That's the truth I always think about that Like oh shit If this doesn't work We'll move back to Cleveland Work at Santos Pizza

That's part of the reason I've invested in you so much Because I know There's a backup Look I support you Honey honey band follow them on twitter and instagram honey honey band don't stop talking they want they want you to love them hey speaking of advertisements let's just talk about what you want to talk about it's fine we should talk about our tour are you guys battling it out right now this is it it, dude. If this were bad, like, you don't even know, Joe.

Is your tour going on right now? Joe, you don't even know. Does it get ugly? It gets fucking real, man. It gets fucking real. I don't want to hear that. But that's real life. That's natural.

But I want to think that you guys are the way you are when you're here all the time. I want to think that you are the way everybody was on Cheers. And they sat around the bar. I don't want to think that anybody got on prescription antidepressants. Where's our tiny Danny DeVito? Where's that guy? That's Taxi. That's Taxi. What are you talking about?

Shit. Jesus fucking Christ. Go watch the Jets outside. Woody Harrelson. Look, I was- Woody Harrelson was in Cheers. Ted Danson. I was born in 1985.

Wait, I thought he was in Cheers. His wife was. No, his wife was in Cheers. God damn it. Thank you. You were born in 1985? Yes, sir. That's when I graduated from high school.

I was 17. You were a baby. Oh, my God. I was like, hi, baby. I turned 30 in January. Hi, little baby. Oh, my God. Are you scared? Yeah, we're pre-30, sir. That's when I graduated from high school. I was 17. You were a baby. Oh, my God. And I was like, hi, baby. I turned 30 in January. Hi, little baby. Oh, my God. Are you scared?

Yeah, we're pre-30, man. No, I'm excited. You're both beautiful. Hey, thanks, babe. Thanks, Jeff. Looking good. I think you do, too, honestly. Thank you, sweet darling.

Yeah. Thank you very much. You're very symmetrical. Thank you. I feel symmetrical. Yeah. In an odd way. My geometry's off, though.

What do you mean? Stop it. Can I ask you? Can I completely- You're a beautiful specimen of a man. Can off, though. What do you mean? Stop it! You're a beautiful specimen of a man. What do you mean? Take a left-hand turn here. Yes, please. This is something, because I think of questions in my life, and honestly, you're the only dude I can think of that might answer them.

Here comes some gay shit. Again. You know what? Now you've made me timid. I'm going to take a second. I'm sorry. I thought we were open here. We don't know if the world's going to end in the next 20 minutes. You know a Now you've made me timid I'm gonna I'm sorry I'm gonna take a second No let's do it right I thought we were open here We don't know

If the world's gonna end In the next 20 minutes You know a lot about this shit Well we have enough weed If it ends in the next 20 minutes If it goes more than an hour We're gonna have to go outside Okay I wanna be

Seth Rogen's character We're gonna have to call speed And this is the end Okay Oh that was a great movie I know God damn that movie was funny I wanna go up into the light

Underrated movie right When the demons come This is the end Fucking What's his name eastbound and down he's the man he's the man he's the man he's one of my favorite people ever love that guy you gotta get him on the podcast i would love to he probably wouldn't do it but if he did he would do it i'd hug him would you kiss him on the mouth fuck yeah fuck yeah is that all it took to get him on the mouth? Fuck yeah Is that all it took? Is this a status thing? No, I love him I'd kiss you on the mouth If I had to kiss you on the mouth to get you back on the podcast

I'd kiss you on the mouth Can I ask my fucking question? I just have a weed question I might bite your lower lip Ben's gonna become derailed What's your question? Did you guys argue before you got here? Is this what's going on?

No, today was a really good day. Like Ice Cube? Good day? It was a very good day. Didn't even have to use RIK. Or like first day on Selexa. Oh, my God. I don't even care about my question anymore.

What was your question, brother? It's just about... So I used to smoke a ton of weed. Just too much wood. What happened, pussy? You're not even 30 I hit the wall I don't feel like this is a safe space

I got too high This doesn't feel like a safe space anymore I'm confused Am I on a planet Hey guys Ben is in a safe space Stick up for me There's a werewolf right out that door You know what doesn't help

I love you so much You know what doesn't help? I know, and I'll fucking beat the shit out of that werewolf. I love you so much. You know what doesn't help a lot when, and God, am I being misogynistic? When I'm struggling and you come up and save me. It's kind of like, oh, fuck. Yeah, you are being misogynistic. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That has nothing to do with gender. No, Suzanne was a man. If you were Sam instead of Suzanne, and a man had to save you every time you fucking hit the wall, he'd be like, what the fuck? First of all, I think you need to let go of that. We're partners, so we take care of each other.

You still haven't asked my question. And I know you can answer your question, but you are being misogynistic. If I were a dude and I was like, yo, bro, my fucking dude's got something to say, you'd be like... Did you guys know that Brody Stevens is 84% gay? Who's Brody Stevens? I don't know who that is either.

Is that your dad? Inside joke. Who's Brody Stevens? He might as well be. I'd love him like a father. What's your question? Ben, what's your question? Okay.

Okay. So I didn't smoke weed for a while and I do every once in a while. And I feel like I get a cognitive boost when I do it. Am I crazy? No. What is that? What element of marijuana slash THC is doing that? Well.

It's like cocaine. P.S. Shut up. There's a rule. Ben can't smoke weed when we're working because he's like, you want to do this? You want to do that? Oh, that's a great fucking idea. It's crazy.

Just to frame the situation, if we have to do an all- to do that yeah i go fucking idea just just to just to frame the situation i if we have to do an all-night drive i'll smoke because i can't fall asleep five literally if i smoke would be about five hours before i go to sleep well i would imagine it's because the way your body reacts to cannabis is that your body your creativity starts to fire up. And your mind starts to embrace different possibilities than you would do if you were sober. It relaxes your inhibitions a little and lets you pursue ideas that maybe, because of the fact that you're in this precarious position

in your career, in your life, and that you're constantly filled with angst like most 30-year-old men. 29. 29. Easy. Fuck, I'm 47. I'm filled with it. No most 30 year old men 29 easy fuck 47 47. I'm filled. No, you're not some 47 You guys fucking did it but red bands 40. Yeah, you got some youthful motherfuckers, but we don't work. Oh, we're not real jobs I'm telling you I don't what's a real job? No, no, no trust me trust me trust me a real job is doing something you don't. What's a real job? Do you make a living?

No, no, no. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. A real job is doing something you don't want to do, but you do it anyway. We don't have real jobs. That's fine. Look, I was getting literal. Brian doesn't have a real job.

I don't have a real job. There's no real jobs here. There's no real jobs. That's a big part of aging is to regret and despair. You're not in the weeds anymore. You're smoking weeds. Perfectly said. Perfectly said. Perfectly said.

Fair enough, Redman. That's the perfect way to say it. And my point being, everybody who smokes weed, who doesn't smoke it very often, it has a big impact on you. Marijuana is one of those things where it hits you when you don't do it a lot. It hits you harder, faster, and more profoundly. Yeah. Because you have these things in your brain, allegedly, apparently, from what I've read,

called cannabinoid receptors that are literally designed to accept the influence of cannabis. And then that's what they're there for. And it comes from just gigantic history of human beings consuming cannabis. These cannabinoid receptors are also fired, they believe, when people do long distance running, like jogging. People say they get that runner's high. It has a similar sort of an effect. So it's not specific to cannabinoids? So endorphins, you mean?

Well, there's a bunch of different things that happen inside the mind. There's different neurotransmitters that get activated. There's dopamine and serotonin. A lot of those are exercise related. But a lot of those are also related to the consumption of psychedelic plants. And marijuana is a big one. It's a giant part.

See, we have this fucking idea that everything that is the way it is from the time that we've been alive and our parents have been alive and the fucking just say no to drugs from the Reagan administration was there, that this is the way the world has always been. It's not. The world has been about consuming cannabis for thousands and thousands and thousands of years but we're growing up in a society where fucking financial interests have figured out a way to control the consumption of gigantic amounts of people the consumption of one of the most fantastic plants

the world has ever known so when you do get a hold of one And it fires you up and you start thinking About shit and you're flying through space And you have all these ideas What it is is because it's Awesome That's why that's the only reason Why you smoke it and you just can't shut the Fuck up because you're driving across country

Those are thoughts that you're caging up in your mind Like you're fucking like you got a pinata Of ideas and you come along With a hatchet and. Like you've got a pinata of ideas. And you come along with a hatchet. And the hatchet is in the shape of a joint. And you fire up that joint and just chop away at that stupid fucking fake elephant. And candy comes pouring out. And that candy is these ideas that you've been sort of containing in your mind and storing up and processing with no outlet.

And just backing up. But chemically, what's doing that? Like what? You'd have to read. I'm obviously not a neuroscientist. Oh, okay. And I probably have brain damage. So what you should do, if I would suggest, if I wasn't me, I would say, don't listen to that dude.

He's probably got a couple of good ideas that he memorized from some website, but everything else is most likely nonsense. So what you should do is Google. Google the marijuana's effects on the mind. And just, there's a lot of bullshit out there. There's a lot of. Well, and I mean, P.S., I think it affects everyone very differently. Yes.

So, you know. Which is also strange. The same weed that we could smoke together. Is it though? Because that's everything. No. It's peanuts. Some people eat fish.

Some people eat shellfish. Shellfish, they die. But I think that's a minority. That's. Some people eat fish. Some people eat shellfish. Shellfish, they die. But I think that's a minority. That's a tiny minority. No, no, no, no. It's not. No, it's not a minority. It's a minority in terms of it's less than 100% of the population.

It's less than 50%. It's probably less than 10% of people who are allergic to like whatever, cats. There's people that'll die in a room filled with cats. Yeah. You know? It's true. Biodiversity is real. Well, it's like you could drink

a glass of wine and be fine. You could drink a glass of vodka and be a fucking lunatic. Yeah, but nobody The way that your body receives these things

is complex and you know But that's just alcohol by volume. You know? Sure. A glass of wine only a certain amount.

A glass of vodka has much more. I was just basically talking about what you were just saying, is that every person is different. Everything affects them differently. Definitely. I'm really sensitive to weed. Do you get high just being in this room? I'm fucking off my rocker right now.

Also, I'm kind of drunk. Let's find out. It's hard to tell. I'm a little drunk but i actually you guys want to hear my stone chord yes yeah but i have to pee go pee okay whenever i talk about being stoned i go like this Let's have the bands back together. In the sunshine of your life. That's beautiful, man.

That is beautiful. Yeah. But I think it affects you to answer your question in all earnestness. I think it's just because you don't do it a lot. Okay, I can accept that. But I just got curious. Well, when I take time off, it does that. Okay.

I'm just curious about what specific process is happening to make me feel like, holy shit, I actually have access to all these different thought patterns now. You know, I don't... Let me give you some advice my friend yes yes please when a hard-on comes don't question how i got my dick so hard just accept the fact i got the pill your penis is in fact ready don't think of pills okay look your body is learning so....is flowing in a wash of chemicals. Is it your fault that the baby Jesus did not bless you with the proper dick chemicals? No, it is not. I just got to accept it. I got to live with what I got.

You don't have to live with what you got. What are you talking about? It's my choice. Because people are smarter than the creator. People have figured Viagra. The creator said, listen, I want you to hit about 52, 53, and your dick's gonna punch out. Dick's gonna go, that's about it. I just gotta say this.

My dad's 63 when he had me. Do you watch him fuck? Every time. Every time. He probably takes bamboo and ties it to his dick and stretches it out to keep it hard. Tapes it in place. Thank you for saying that that beautiful thing

when you watch him you just look back at it like you hate it it's kind of like I'm seeing my own future duct tape and kite string he just keeps his cock

no but I'm serious I'm proud of my dad about this honestly because I have a very old dad my dad's super fucking old how old is he now? guess 80

nope a thousand almost 92 93 oh my god how's he doing he's doing well you know he just broke his hip but he's okay he's doing great man because he's keeping like he has a seriously he is all the way there he's with you you know what i mean and he's keeping the attitude he recognizes that if he gets depressed, which is totally reasonable, the fact that if he falls down, which is what happened, he tripped, fell down, and fucking broke the ball off of his hip just by falling down.

His bones are that brittle. Whoa. But he knows that if he accepts that as, I don't know, as serious a thing as some people might, he's done. He's literally done. You know? So he's with it, man. Wow. He's positive done. You know? So he's with it, man. Wow. He's positive.

He's feeling good. That's all of our future. I mean, we're all going to be 93 if we don't get hit in the head by a fucking meteor or if those jets don't mean business. This could be it. This could be the last day. I would have enjoyed it.

That's one of the big problems of being a person is that we all have the ability to understand that we're finite. We all know it. We rationalize it. We have it in our head. But it never sort of reaches our immediate consciousness. It always sort of sits in the periphery as some future possibility. think is the the trickling down of that mindset is us looking at our times as as unique in terms of how uh desperate things are or how close we are to the edge of something you know the idea

that like okay we're at the this is it you know they're all look at all this chaos in the world i think it's always been like that but our way of communicating with mortality is saying no this time is unique well this time is unique. Well, this time is unique, though. Well, of course it's unique in the sense that the events that are happening now have never happened before. I think that's the number one draw of it. I mean, it's nice to be nostalgic and look at it in relationship to the times that were unique in the 70s and the 60s and the 40s. Every time has been the pinnacle of human interaction exactly like at this moment right now at 2014 we are at the front of the line of what it

is to be a person and we really are we were at the front we're at the front with phones we're at the front with social media we're the front evolved with this. This. This is fucking crazy. With podcasts. What we're doing right now. The ability to talk to people. Like, to you really be Ben, you really be Suzanne, me really be me.

Brian, Brian is sort of him, but even he is confused as to what the fuck is going on. Brian, you look fucking amazing, dude. You look fucking great.

We just learned that Brian is 40 years old. He's a sexy bitch. He's a sexy bitch. He's a sexy bitch. He's getting like a newborn, honestly. Look at his mustache. He's got all his hair. He's keeping the weight off.

He's got a good woman in his life. The five of us should go to dinner. He doesn't have a job. I have a show after this. I'm doing the Ice House in Pasadena. Oh, my God. And then I'm doing the improv. Does this mean we're not hanging out after?

We're hanging out. We're just going to get my truck. Can I backtrack for one second? What you just said, Ben, calm down. Sorry. We live in the same town. What you were just saying about where we're at right now evolved and we're on this podcast and we're speaking in our truth, in our own way.

Right. That gives me hope because all of the sort like sanitized media and the things that you are given on a regular basis and the information that's coming through, I'm always doubtful. I'm always weary and nervous and doubt. You know, I just don't believe it. Right. I mean, I'm sure there's some actual, you know, reality to it. But I think there's always an agenda with major media market and whatever right we're talking about different things here no no no no no no no no no no no no no no um

you know you were talking about like the current state of like our mortality and and you know our our visual of like oh it's really bad or it's how it how it is i i think that um the the way that we perceive the world now you have options and options like podcasts or or really learning about um someone else's viewpoint from their like right out of the horse's's mouth on a podcast that's not funded by, you know, a major oil company or something. Right. That's where I feel a little more comfort. Am I confusing anybody?

No, no. We're having this conversation. We're friends. And it doesn't matter if we're doing a different thing than we would be doing if we were just hanging out. Sure. Because we know that people are listening. So we're doing this different thing

where we're trying to be really clear. You're doing a great job of not trying to talk over Suzanne. I'm not good at that. I'm working on it. But what we're doing is there's no other influences other than us. We know what we're doing. We have this idea

that we're putting out something that people are going to receive and it's going to be entertaining. We have our minor biases. Like we're in a band. We sound like a record deal. All this shit. But we're not – I understand what you're saying. I think I'm just trying to be super literalist.

I'm sorry. No, I don't even think it's that. It's like we do this all the time. So it's a weird form of expression, right? It's a weird form of expression where you're talking, but you also know that people are listening. But the beautiful thing is there's no interruptions, and no one is telling you yes or no. There's no publicist that's standing over your shoulder saying this is bad for your career. There's no bean counter who's saying, listen, Ben, if you admit to gay thoughts and wanting to kiss brian redman

on the mouth because of his beautiful mustache it's a great stand this is going to cost us 14 records an hour worth it worth every penny babe look at that mouth i mean they might fucking i don't even see that as a bad thing yeah those 14 people are cunts cunts there's no free lunches fucking thank you don't ever lose that let me express my love never losing my cunty charm or my fucking fanny pack both of those things stay to the to the grave you have a fanny pack job do i sell them yes i do have i run out of them yes are you selling higherprimate.com are you selling coffee no this is my buddy this is tate because last time No interest in this business. I want a goddamn penny pack.

I mean, other than friendship interest. No financial interest. But we talked last time about Bulletproof Coffee. Yeah, Caveman Coffee is my friend Tate and my friend Keith Jardine. They have this company. They sell single source coffee from this farm. Is it Columbia or Nicaragua? I want to say Columbia.

But it's just the fucking salt of the earth. Those dudes are... I love Keith and Tate is my brother. So I wear this shirt. It's a good looking shirt. Out of respect! Yeah, word. Respect!

Wait, where's your show? Can we go to your show later? Yeah, you want to come? Yeah, I've got the Ice House at... In Pasadena? Yeah, at 8. And then I'm at the Improv 10 o'clock show tonight. Holy shit!

Man, you work! Let's go to... That's awesome. I'm working on some new shit. So I've got to bang out some new jokes. I'm at the improv 10 o'clock show tonight. Jesus Christ, man, you work. Let's go to the... That's awesome. I'm working on some new shit, so I've got to bang out some new jokes. I'm trying... My Comedy Central special airs November 21st, so I'm in this weird scramble,

trying to reconstruct the scaffolding of my next hour. Right now, it's like the really exciting... We can't wait to see it. We're very excited. Thank you so... Man, thank you for... You put our song in it. Oh, dude, yeah.

Did you know that? No, of course I did. I picked it. Punk for, you put our song in it. Oh, dude. Did you know that? No. Yeah, of course I did. I picked it. Punk it. I love that song. Yeah, the beginning trailer is me asleep in a field in the mountains of Colorado, and your song is playing in the background.

And I run to the- Oh my God. Thank you so much. We're going to be in Denver next week. Oh, snappa. You hired it. Where are you guys at? It's so exciting.

Where are you guys at? We's so exciting Where you guys at? We're gonna be in Aspen We're gonna play in The Larimer Lounge In Denver Oh sweet And then Beaver Creek Which is

Oh shit Beaver Creek We're going to Texas We're going to New Mexico Albuquerque Dallas We're going to Louisiana Monroe

You ain't fucking around You're going to Monroe Hey y'all We end up We end in In California Here in Los Angeles On November 1st

What is in California? What is it? Our last show of the tour Do you want to come? If I'm here Hold on November 1st Hold on

You want to party? Hold on It's a Saturday Listen we gotta be really careful It's a fun day Day after Halloween I know So you have to take your

Your monkey suit off What time is it? My monkey suit We're thinking about it. You mean my chest hair? No. You're telling me to shave? Never.

Not for a second. I don't want subtlety. No. I want directions. It's at 8 p.m. door time. November 1st. We want you exactly as you are. We won't play until 9, 30, 10.

I want you. Oh, sorry. I'm going to be in British Columbia. Stop it, Joe. No. Stop breaking our hearts. I'm hunting. Hey, we should.

Hunting moose. Biscuits. We should. Okay. Moose. We breaking our hearts. I'm hunting. Hey, we should... Hunting moose. Biscuits. We should... Okay. Moose. We should go hunting. Not hunting jams. We should also do another show together because that would be really fun.

Fuck yeah. I mean, we did the one December 21st, 2012. That was fucking awesome. That was like... That was a while ago. Almost two years ago. I was so excited because Bill Burr was backstage and I just love him so much. I love him so much too.

He's fucking great. He came down to hang out with us. He's great. He's awesome. He's a sweet guy too. He's a really i know genuinely good guy like you know like for for comics like to see other comics that are like really supportive and friendly it's like it's so important so he just showed up to hang out with me and joey just and duncan that's fucking awesome and you guys do you like him i don't know him personally I like his podcast man I think it's cool

I hear good things yeah but I don't know him too much I don't hang out with him maybe do a double podcast whatever whatever whatever whatever if you want to do it

two years after the end of the world show that would be fucking pretty badass bring it on we should do that just prove that we're still alive two years

like Mayans were wrong x 24 months still here still here although we don't know because those fucking fighter jets that just went overhead Prove that we're still alive. Two years. Like Mayans were wrong. X 24 months. Still here. Still here. Although we don't know because those fucking fighter jets that just went overhead. What's going to happen? I wouldn't worry about the fighter jets.

I'm not scared. Eventually they're going to run out of gas. They're going to have to land. People will overwhelm them with slingshots. Yeah. I know. If the world ended and we were right here, it'd be cool. Joe, with all of your adventures that you go on, space travel, is that on the docket? Put some fucking ice and whiskey in that glass.

Let's talk about this shit. This is what I think. What I think. I'm available for space travel about a decade into successful space travel for civilians. Meaning, once Richard Branson has hit the 2029 mark, and pretty much no one's dying anymore. The singularity would have come at that point. That's good.

Let them get all the kinks out. You know what I mean? Iron that shit out. Let those over-eager motherfuckers... You don't want to be on the ship that doesn't make it. Lance Bass of NSYNC. Remember that? Lance Bass?

He signed up for it. He's all about NASA. Well, how about the people? There's over 100,000 people that have signed up as potential people to live on Mars. Be the first people

to move to Mars. Did someone just growl? No, he made a noise. That's fucking weird. How do you do that? You just breathe in kind of weirdly. Are you an alien?

I think he has a male face And it makes different noises That'll do it Please stop I'm so scared Who needs pills, Brian? Could you imagine if you moved to Mars And you found a fucking sign

You were digging Like trying to plant tomatoes I think about it all the time That said get the fuck out of here what quick do you guys remember that movie

with Ice Cube and it was about like Mars fuck what was it called Friday it was like it was a horror film and people die

it's very dark oh it was a John Carpenter movie yeah yeah I remember that I remember seeing that when I was young you know

teenager god I don't remember too much about that. But it was some Mars movie. Yeah. Well, it kind of had like a zombie feel to it, which I just don't like. Zombies scare the shit out of me. The idea of Mars, to me, is like living in the shittiest neighborhood of all time.

Yeah. There's no plants. There's no life. Bad air quality. You can't go outside and even breathe the air. You're relying on human inventions to keep oxygen. You've been wearing the same shirt for two weeks. How about the rest of your life, bitch?

Okay, fine. Don't call me. Not you. Not you. The person. The person on the island of Mars itself. You know, the really scary thing about Mars is when they keep finding all this water on it. They keep finding all these former rivers and former lakes.

all this water on it. They keep finding all these like former rivers and former lakes and it makes you, it really cements in your head that like

Earth could be just like that one day. Like we could get hit with not like what killed all the dinosaurs but something

fucking crazier. Yeah. We can get hit with some, instead of five miles wide. Well, yeah, that can happen. Yeah.

Hypernovas, like in a nearby galaxy, just cooks everything. And sometimes, asteroid impacts, planets collide, and the fucking entire atmosphere of the planet changes. It's not just common. It's the standard. Every fucking planet, if you look at the moon, if you look at Earth, everything's littered with impacts. Every planet we've ever found, littered with with astro do you think people are actually robots do you think that uh we have the technical technological capacity to prevent that kind

of thing because because we know it was coming at this point or at least there's a good chance of it this is what i think. Tell me. Everything other than what is absolutely positive that we can do, whether it's air travel, whether it's travel into space, space stations, is essentially theoretical.

Sure. Unless we've done it, they don't know we can do it. They assume that we can get away with going to Mars. But it could very well be that they get out into deep space and they find

out that the magnetosphere and the the the fucking the atmosphere of the earth is protecting us as way in ways from like long trips that we just don't understand the possible risks especially radiation asteroids micrometeors what sir you need your hands up yes yes ben what is it from honey honey what is the magnetosphere? Well, there's a surface, okay, of the earth, right? You got your dirt. You got your water. You know, you got what you can touch.

And then above it, you have various layers of gases. You have oxygen. You have the magnetosphere. You have an ozone. There's a bunch of things that surround the earth. So the magnetosphere is one of the layers of the Earth made of gas? I would do a piss-poor job of describing it, because obviously my education is piss-poor.

But essentially what's going on is you have the atmosphere of the planet, and it goes from say, like one inch, you know, touching the ground to X amount of miles up in the sky until we essentially start calling it space. And then from there on, you have the Van Allen radiation belts,

which engulf the Earth. These radiation belts, which are like a donut-shaped band of radiation that encircles the Earth. And then outside of that, you have deep space, and there's no protection out there. All that other stuff, the atmosphere, all the other stuff, protects us from things like gamma rays right solar flares from um supernovas if like there was some sort of a supernova in a nearby galaxy and gamma rays went flying through the fucking galaxy now this is stuff that's unique to earth or just planets in general

neither i mean the atmospheres we know for a fact there's atmospheres in many planets and many different solar systems that we've found throughout the universe, including binary solar systems, which mean they have two different stars, and then we've also detected simple gases, like different gases that exist on Earth, whether it's

hydrogen or oxygen. They've detected those on a lot of planets now. It was just like a decade ago when they didn't know how many planets there were out there. It was just guessing. But now they're just spotting them left and right. Yeah. A lot of it, they spot the star and then they see the wobble of the star and they recognize that something is spinning around the star and that something most likely is a planet.

And then they can determine the mass of the planet and then they can zoom in on that spot and find out if it's got you know hydrogen or oxygen or whatever the fuck is on how do you feel about the um likelihood that there are other planets like ours and there are others it's 100 yeah it's crazy it's this is what's really fucked up it's not only is there most likely other planets like us but from the way it's been explained to me the universe is so big that if infinity is real and there's no reason to believe that it's not what infinity means if the universe truly has no boundaries and if there's infinite numbers of universes like the same the same idea exists an infinite number of times, like an unmeasurable, impossible number.

That there's another Suzanne, another Ben out there sitting on these shitty Office Max leather shoes. I'm comfy. I know that other Suzanne is like a C cup. I'm comfy. Come on. The other Suzanne's got nipple rings and a dick. No.

Well, maybe. That'd be cool. Why not just switch it up? I guarantee you there's another Suzanne out there with a dick that has eyeballs. It's a big dick, though. Every possibility that you could think of exists. This is what's really fucked up about the concept of infinity. Infinity literally means there's no boundaries.

There's no end. So it's not like you get through a certain amount of time. The raw carbon building blocks for life. We've run out. We've made all the giraffes and the fucking cactuses and the palm trees. We don't have any room

for a Suzanne with a giant dick. Eh, incorrect. We have another fucking infinite number of universes with infinite solar systems, infinite galaxies, and inside one of those somewhere a billion, trillion,

fucking zillion miles away, there's another Suzanne. But this is coming from a point of complete not complete but like a a decent amount of ignorance but what you can speak english so um i i was under the impression that there's still the understanding that the universe is contracting to a certain degree well it's supposed to be currently expanding but will eventually contract. But that speaks to perimeters.

Well, the problem is when you talk about this kind of stuff, especially if it's a guy like you who's a musician or a guy like me who's an idiot, we don't know what the fuck we're saying. We don't know what the fuck we're saying. So we're just basically parroting. We've heard like legitimate. No, that's the truth. That's the absolute truth. Neil deGrasse Tyson, Michio Kaku, astrophysicist type dudes actually like do the calculations and figure it out. And I think that there's a lot of debate about what we know and what we're sure of.

And sometimes those things come into question. Like lately there's a guy, there's a new guy who is claiming that black holes don't exist. And this is like a really recent study that a lot of people are taking very seriously. And this guy has said that black holes, as we know them, do not exist. There's five in this room, though. What's that? There's five in this room, though.

Five black holes. My hole's not black. It's not even brown. It's like a red. You should get that looked at. Here it is. This is the theory. Black holes do not exist.

But think about the Big Bang. The Big Bang did not exist a hundred years ago. A hundred years ago people were riding around on horses and fucking doing anti-oakly fucking shooting galleries looking at a fucking mirror and shooting over their shoulder. It was the greatest thing you could ever do.

No one knew what the fuck the Big Bang was. No one had any idea why the stars were in the sky. And now we know. But this guy, this recent guy, or excuse me, it's a woman. What? Then, probably wrong. Would try to take away the Big Bang.

How dare you? You fucking bitch. I'm sorry, ma'am. I was only kidding. Her name is Professor Laura Mercini, H-O-U-G-H-T-O-N. Howton. Howton said she is still in shock from the find. Previously, scientists thought the stars were much larger than the sun collapsed under their own,

that suns collapsed under their own gravity and formed black holes when they died. And during this process, they release a type of radiation called Hawking radiation, but new research claims the star would lose too much mass and wouldn't be able to form a black hole. And if this is true, the theory that the universe began as a singularity

followed by a Big Bang could also be wrong. I don't understand a word I just said. It's quite interesting. She's saying by the dissolution of the star, it can't have this ultimately dense, ultimately small, infinitely dense, infinitely small ball of matter which creates the Big Bang. I don't know. I don't. We're dumb and even bothering to have this conversation because i think this shit is this is beyond like the great minds of our time this is one of those things where there's no conclusion

time to move in yeah you guys want to talk about music or something? Do you guys want to hear a song? Yeah, set up the microphones. Give her a guitar. She wakes up, she'll start singing like an angel. I was with you the whole time. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Well, I'm not even with me. What just happened? I'm not even with me.

I don't understand it. Here, I'll do my question. Here's what it says. I'll do my question. Please. When a huge star, many times the mass of the sun, comes to the end of its life, it collapses in on itself and forms a singularity, creating a black hole where gravity is so strong that not even light itself can escape. At least, that's what we thought. A scientist has sensationally said it is impossible for black holes to exist.

And she even has the mathematical proof to back up her claims. I need to, I should be working for TMZ. If true, her research could force physicists to scrap their theories of how the universe began. physicists to scrap their theories of how the universe began. The research was conducted by Professor Laura Marcini-Houghton from the University of North Carolina. Oh, I lost interest. Oh, man. Did you say Harvard?

You didn't. Did you say MIT? I didn't hear that. I heard the University of North Carolina. Are you getting snobby on us, Joe? Don't do that. I am Ivy League in heart for what I accept.

Where did you go to school? UMass Boston. You went to UMass? Barely. Barely. Damn. I went to UMass Boston for three years. Holy shit. Wasted my time. I only went in the continuing education program. I didn't even take my SATs. Me either. Thank you.

Holla. I did. How'd you do, Ben? Ben's the only reason thank you I did okay yeah you low-life pro living your life without yourself not doing that no false not uber it's here it's real we have a trial is also but we have a car here. The struggle is also... Yeah, we have a car service. No, but we have... It's going to be okay. Do you guys have marijuana? What do you think? What were we talking about? Proletariat, UMass Boston. Yeah.

I only went because I was worried that people thought I was a loser. When I got out of high school, I had no idea what I was going to do, and I kept telling everybody, I'm just going to take a year off. And when I would tell girls that, they would look at me with such disdain. Fuck. That's what I did. And I didn't say it to any girl. Absolutely.

You had to go to college because that's what everybody in your class did. And if you said you weren't going or you didn't know by you graduated high school, people were like, ugh. Shit. I didn't go. It's the worst. I didn't experience that kind of discrimination. Well, it's not discrimination. It's wanting you to live up to a certain quality of work ethic and standard.

Where I grew up, I lived in Newton, Massachusetts. Fucking Newton. Newton. Newton. Mush. Newton North. They called each other Mush. It's one of the only places on Earth where mush, like, what up, mush?

Mush. You seen this fucking broad mush? She's got a big ass, mush. Girls didn't have big asses when I was in school. What does mush mean? It doesn't mean anything. Okay. But there's an area of Newton called the lake.

Is that like the audible comma? No. No. It's like dude. It's their version of dude. Just checking. It's their version of dude. Dude.

Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.. It's their version of dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.

Dude. That's all I want to know. It was mush. Okay. When I grew up in Newton South, and I didn't get mush, but my good friends Kevin Chason and my good friends Nick Dottilio, they both went to Newton North. Okay? Okay.

And Newton North was different than Newton South. Jimmy Lawless went to Newton South, who's also my good friend. And we- His name is Lawless? Jimmy motherfucking Lawless. Still my friend to this day. Why are friend. And we... His name is Lawless? Jimmy motherfucking Lawless. Still my friend to this day. Why are your friends so cool? He changed his name. Michael Lawless. Fuck you.

That's his name, son. Just like Eddie Bravo. That's another one of my friends with a real name. More proof. We're living in a simulation. You guys are itching to rock this motherfucker. No, we're not. That's not true. We're patient, man. I know you are. No, we're not.

You say what you need to say. I want to hear more about your friends and their cool names. Mush. It wasn't cool. They were trapped. They were living in a place where it snows six months out of the year. You know, I lived in Mass, too. There was a Prince song called Sometimes It Snows in April.

Yeah. It's a very sad song. Sometimes it snows in April. There's also a Prince song called, You sexy motherfucker. Sometimes it feels so bad. I was in my Audi Fox. Okay, I was coming home from my gig where I was driving a private investigator

that lost his job. He lost his driver's license because he was DUI and he needed someone to drive him around. So he put out an ad in the want ads for an assistant for a private investigator. His name was Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. Come on. He's also still my good friend. No way. From Boston!

Look, I wouldn't go back to Boston, but that motherfucker shaped me. Okay? Anyway. That's amazing. Driving back in April snowing. Listen to Prince. Sometimes it snows. And I was like, I got to get the fuck out of Boston. I can't deal with snow in April.

Did you get the winter blues? Like, would you get bummed and stuff? I got blues all the time. I was a loser. I think that's fair. Everybody does that. Well, if you're super desperate and you're trying to carve your path in this world with a rabid desperation like I was, you're always feeling like shit. Sure.

Because if you're not feeling like shit, you're feeling complacent, nothing gets done. Sure. Well, you know, the blues come and go. That's just inevitable, I think, at this point. And when you accept it and you figure out what it is and what it means and you just keep having an understanding with yourself. what it is and what it means. And you just keep, you know, under having an understanding with yourself.

And it's important that a certain, a certain type of people, like people that you listen to, like someone like you or like you or like you guys name their, their reality, like talk about the reality and talk about the blues. And then everybody goes, Oh,

I get it. It's just a part of struggling. Like a part of struggling is that I think you guys are super talented. We've been friends for years now, and I've always thought you guys were super talented. From the moment I saw that one song where you guys were on top of the roof and you were singing Angel of Death, I love you guys so much, too. I think you guys are amazing. But when you connect with something like that and you see someone who's doing something that makes you feel good when you see it and you want to spread it to these other people, it's like, what is that? I mean, what that is at its best is like there's this weird light that you can find, the deep, dark tunnels of human creativity that makes you feel better about the struggle. I like the fact that you guys haven't made it.

I'm really sorry. I'm not. I wish you had made it. I wish you were multi, multi, multi millionaires. I think that's going to change soon. I know it's going to. And I know you're not going to change. No, I appreciate you saying that, man. I love that I met you guys when

you were in the fucking... You were in the goddamn roots of it all. You were swinging. You guys are sleeping on couches and fucking jamming out. You guys did that December 21st show that we did at the Wiltern. Yeah, that kept us afloat.

2012. That was like a fucking lifesaver. Thank you for that. You guys fucking kept us afloat. 2012. Thank you. You guys fucking crushed it. I'll never forget. So did you, by the way. Joey Diaz and Eddie Bravo came backstage after you guys got offstage before Duncan went up.

Or Joey went up. He came upstage. It was Joey and then Doug Stano. So before Joey went up, you guys were onstage. You were fucking killing it. And Joey came backstage with Eddie Bravo, and they're both shaking their head back and forth. And they just go, that's a badass bitch. That is a badass bitch.

They kept saying that. And then Joey goes, god damn, those motherfuckers are talented. And Eddie Bravo was just shaking his head, god damn, those motherfuckers are talented. And then they both go, how are they not famous they both go how are they not famous as fuck how are they not famous as fuck like it became like a conversation before the rest of the show went on like you you guys were just fucking crushing it i don't even remember what song it was but they were just eddie bravo was holding his hands on his head like the fucking home alone kid he was like he was like god damn they're really good and i go i told you dude they're really good he's such a nice dude told you, dude, they're really good.

He's such a nice dude. They're both nice dudes. Thanks, man. Thanks for saying all that really sweet stuff. I like the fact that I knew you guys when you weren't shit. It's all down from here. But you were. You were, but you weren't.

It's like, I love the fact that there's something out there that's as good or better than anything else. But people don't know yet. They don't know yet. And you guys are out there just fucking ch there that's it's as good or better than anything else but people don't know yet they don't know yet and you guys are out there just fucking chipping away at it and slowly people are going holy fuck and and that's what happens in this world and it makes it better honestly i i i feel good about it you know what i mean i feel i i feel all this all this time we're putting in now and who cares what happens i don't picture you in bed with david bowie it's gonna happen that shit happens no it's not manifesting that you're taking a longer stronger road you're gonna know who you are by the time you get in bed with david bowie

and you go you're gonna go like homie i love your music i love i love your music i'm gonna i'm gonna fucking give you a hug and i'm gonna go home express ourselves differently mutual respect no touching i think it's super important to go through that struggle i think that if you guys had somehow or another like started out together and then a week later someone came along and went holy shit you guys are fucking great well no, no, we've had that, but it didn't. But if it did. But that's what's so cool about, like, everyone has a different way to get there, you know, a different vehicle. And I think about that a lot because we've been through so much shit together. We've been through so much in our personal lives and in the career. through so much in our personal lives and in the career um and i i feel really lucky for that because i i have so much information and experience and understanding of what this business entails

we've we've booked our own shows we've been our own manager at times we've done all the the shit you know and if if we had like blown up when we were young i don't know what would have happened that's a terrifying thought because you know we talk about this a lot but essentially like being good people and and and having a legitimate reason for doing this not like some masturbatory you know oh i just want to be the best that's not why we play music and that's stupid and you know narcissistic um we have had all these crazy experiences and and difficult times and and was that somebody's stomach what was that was that me keep it going keep it going that's the demon inside you probably keep lying

woman we're close to our goal. God, I told you it was the end of the world. The spider dead. He's doing it now. See? Do you snore, Joe? Male power.

Oh, my God. I have to wear a mouthpiece. Do you really? What does that even mean? What do you mean? My neck is not a normal neck. Did you see that neck? You're an alien.

It's not supposed to be... A lot of wrestlers and people who do a lot of moving their head around, you develop too many muscles in your neck, and your tongue will fall over your air hole and clog that bitch up. So I wear a mouthpiece. Damn. Yeah, to keep my tongue from falling back into my air hole. It's called sleep apnea.

Oh, yeah, we know what that is. No, I don't want to die either. Guys have died. I know. Okay, valid. Oh yeah, we know what that is. No, I don't want to die either. Guys have died. I know. Okay, valid. Yeah, you die in your sleep. You choke in your sleep a few times a night. Just give up like a bitch.

I used to, my sister has sleep apnea and I used to live with her. Oh, let's talk about her. Calling it out. Oh, she's great. Hey, you know what? She's opening a juice shop in Cleveland. Holy shit!

And I support that. What's it called? I love juice shops. What's it called? I love juice shops. What's it called? It's called Daily Press Juice. When is it up? It's going to be up very soon, actually. Allegedly.

Allegedly. Dreams have failed in the past. Hey, Joe. Joe, don't you dare. Hey, hey. Don't make me go tell your family I knew. I'll tweet the shit out of her. I'll tweet the shit out of her.

Please do. Let me know. Let me know when it's up. She's so great. I will pre- I'll have been tweet. I'll have been- We should stop drinking. I'll have been tweet. I'll have been... We should stop drinking.

I'll have been tweet. No, we're fine. Shut up. Who are you? We love you so much. I love you so much, too. I've only been to Cleveland once. I'll go back.

Hey, next time you're there, you should meet my family. They're really cool. Allegedly. Allegedly. If you're in Cleveland, we'll be there. We'll make a point to be there together. We'll have a party. Let's do this. How about we book a show with you guys and me in Cleveland We'll be there We'll make a point To be there together And we'll have a party Let's do this How about we book a show

Okay With you guys And me in Cleveland And we'll see if Joey Can do it too I love that so much I need to not invite my parents Jesus Christ

Keep your parents at home Yeah we'll keep them at home Let's get fucked up Where do we do this? Oh State Theater Would you guys Aim for the stars

Would you guys Red Band What do you think about that? Do your set Would you guys do this? Would you guys do your set? Would you guys do this? Would you guys do your set and then play in the background while Joey's on stage and I'm on stage? Just fuck around and play music? Like Malifluous shit?

Yeah, have fun. We score that shit. You see what I'm saying? Just have fun. Heck yeah. It's done. Be like jazz. Jazz.

Beat. Beat poetry. Like the gay guy from Star Trek. Make it so. Which one? Zachary Quinto? No, it's the... I love him. I call him the gay guy. Star Trek make it so. Which one? Zachary Quinto? No, it's the... I love him.

I call him the gay guy. Are we talking contemporary? No, the new one. Vintage. Not even the new, new, new, new one. The fucking semi-new one. What's his name? Guys, have we been calling for three hours?

Because it feels like... Picard. No, Picard. It's only 6.30. Is he gay? This is amazing. He's gay. Jesus Christ.

Your gaydar is like from the 1950s and it runs on coal. What? Are you talking about me? No, Brian. He just asked me if the fucking guy from Star Trek is gay, the bald guy. Like, do you not even pay attention? Do you not understand your surroundings? What's that guy's name?

I don't. Patrick Stewart. Patrick Stewart. He's a beautiful man. Him and Gandalf should get together. They probably have. I think they... Yeah.

I think this picture's about that. Good for them. God bless them. Somebody give Jennifer Lawrence a hug if you're near her. I want you to tell her it's going to be okay. You're beautiful. Don't worry about those assholes that have seen you naked. You're beautiful.

Don't worry about it. What's happening? Is Patrick Stewart gay? The Guardian falsely outs Captain Picard after he congratulates Ellen Page on coming out. What year is this, though? Yesterday. 2011.

February 20th, 2014. Yeah, because Ellen Page came out this year. Who cares? I hope he's happy. Who gives a fuck if he's gay? Who gives a fuck? This is a gay-friendly podcast. It is a gay... You know what?

I'm a gay-friendly person. I'm also a trans-friendly person. I really am. Even though I don't want trans women beating the fuck out of cis women, I'm a trans-friendly person. I'm a dwarf-friendly person. Little people? Whatever it is.

I'm black-friendly, Filipino-friendly, Asian-friendly, white-friendly, straight male-friendly. Joe, you're a lover. You're a lover. I'm a lover. I love everybody. I really do. You bring a lot of positivity to the table. I think that we're all locked up in conflict, man.

And I think there could be a lot less of it. And if there was, we'd figure a lot more shit out. And we'd get a lot more shit done. And be nicer to each other. And make the whole experience just a little bit easier. A little more well-loved. Well, you know what? We're all in this together. Yeah.

No matter who the fuck you are. Top, bottom, middle, taint. Fuck yeah. I've been watching a lot. The taint feels so good sometimes. It just touches it just right. I've been paying attention to a lot of people. This is over the line. There's a process that happens

when I put out a special. And one of the big things that happens is after the special's out, I scramble. I go in this mad panic state where I have to come up with a bunch of new material. And it's good and it's bad. It's like your next record. Yeah, and sometimes I have some rough sets. If you come to see me while I'm

working out new shit, come a year later, you'll be so happy. It'll all work out. But along the lines of doing all this, I start exposing myself to a bunch of different things. I try to expose myself to as many things as possible. And it's really scary. It's scary to try to come up with new material.

It's scary to tread down new paths and not have like formulated bits you can call upon you absolutely know they're gonna be effective but that's what life is about just to be some supportive friends here you're so fucking brilliant like your your brain capacity just got gay. Oh, it's so gay. Just got gay. I thought we were into that. I thought it was gay friendly. I thought it was gay like two hours ago. We talked about this. It got G-H-E-Y like protein, like whey protein.

G-H-E-Y. G-H-E-Y. G-H-E-Y. Gay. Gay like whey. What Susanna's trying to say is we believe in you. I believe in you guys too. It's not important that you believe in me.

It's important that we believe in each other. Mm-hmm. Ha-ha. I believe I can fly. Oh my God, Space Jam. Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm not good with compliments. I try to shut them off whenever possible.

We feel secure with complimenting you and you not accepting them at this time. Thank you. They fucked me in the past. I don't trust them anymore. No, come on. Can you guys play punk kid? We'll snuggle you afterward. I assumed that was a part of our package deal

in getting you guys on the podcast. You know what? I just realized I'm going to play this acoustic guitar. I don't know if it's going to hit this microphone. Should I do one of these, Jamie? You've got two microphones there. Are you cool with that? Okay, I'm going to aim it at the 12th fret.

Oh, it's floating. This piece of shit. I think it's okay. God damn it, Jamie. Hold on. No, no, it's not James. Jamie will of shit. I think it's okay. God damn it, Jamie. Hold on. No, no, it's not James Bond. Jamie will fix it. It's mainly just gravity.

It's a fake God damn it, Jamie. No, Jamie, you're so great. How's it going? How are you? I'm okay. This is drunk talk. I'm a little ticked. I'm a little fucked up.

I'm a little fucked up. Ben. I'm glad I don't have to drive for another hour. We might not make it through this one. We'll do our best. We love you. Twitter's lighting up like a goddamn Christmas tree right now. They're so happy.

I can't hear anything. This is authentic. People love it. Brian loves it. I look down at the table. He loves it. Hard on. No.

That's not what I meant. I meant his feet were tapping, you fuck. Ben, are you doing headphones? I'm doing one in, one out. I might do one in, two. I'm not sure. You guys should shut the fuck up. Play the fucking music.

Okay. Okay. You ready? Are we doing this now? I'm a punk kid. I don't even... Monkeys. Okay. You ready? Are we doing this now? How do we start this one? Punk kid? I don't even... Okay.

I bet you were a punk kid when you were young. I bet you were a punk kid when you were young I bet you were a punk kid when you were young Flashing your cut, tearing shit up I bet you were a punk Cause it takes one to know one Prodigal son, yeah, I bet you were a mom How's that working out for ya? Who's coming around for ya? Say you're stuck on all your bad luck

Oh honey, you're a fuck up Oh honey, you're a fuck up I'll bet you made your mama cry when you were young I'll bet you made your mama cry Signing the cross, ripping her off, cutting it down to size Just a good one with a bad son Wondering why you always made me cry, honey Oh no How's it working out for you?

Who's coming around for you? Say you're stuck on your bad love Oh honey, you're a fucker You're bad news, darling, and you fall so fast Hangin' on your own dead weight You're not an innocent man, oh no I'm feeling bad for how you do Yeah, I'm feeling bad for how you do Cause somewhere along the line Somebody gave it to you

On the right side and the wrong side No matter how you do I feel for you I feel for you How's that working out for you? Who's coming out for you? Say you're stuck on your bad love Oh, honey, you're a fuck-up

You're a fuck-up Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh That was beautiful. I don't know about that. I don't know about beautiful, but it was a great song. I love that song.

Shut up. I think I should have worn these the whole time. It's fantastic. You don't need that shit. I love that song. I fucking love that song. I've heard that song a hundred times.

What? Easily. Easily. Without a doubt. That's why I picked it. That's the song. I fucking love that song. I've heard that song a hundred times. What? Easily. Easily. Without a doubt. That's why I picked it. That's the song that had this cool fucking fun riff to it. I had to hear that song over and over and over again. I played that song.

I'm not bullshitting. I played that song close to a hundred times. What? If I had to stop and guess I played it one time at the gym I put it on repeat and I got on the stair climber and I went a half an hour

and I listened to your fucking song for a half an hour that's fucking awesome cause I was trying to figure out what song to use for the beginning of the special and I had a bunch of your songs

your old songs your new songs and uh we have so many new songs mmhmm I'm about to do brilliant and uh I listened to that song over and over again for a half an hour it's actually the elliptical i misspoke not the stair climber you know what better on the

joints better on the joints allegedly i don't think stair climber is bad for the joints it just gives the joints some work that's true bitch ass joints go to work speaking of joints stop being scared stop being scared Of all elliptical and shit What else? Yeah speaking of joints I got electrocuted What? When that song started

I don't know if it's that amp That's plugged into something Are you okay? I'm sorry Brian That's the game It's coming out of your sweat We do so badly Happens all the time

Does it really happen all the time? I like how you said so badly Not so bad Badly? Yeah I get the time. Does it really happen all the time? I like how you said so badly and not so bad. Badly? Yeah, that's the right way to say it. I get those adverbs working, man. I know. You feel so bad.

I'm working on it, you know? Are you? Proper grammar. Yeah. Do you? I'm medically correct. I actually really care about that stuff. In what way?

Do you accidentally write Y-O-U-R when you meant Y-O-U apostrophe R-E? Y-O-U-R. And you tweet it and you go, fuck! Oh, no, no, no. That's worth trashing a tweet and getting it back up again.

No, I really care about that. I'm not kidding. Like twos and twos. There's, there's, and there's. Oh, I know it. This is all I care about. Don't write U-R to me. U-R, U-R.

Are you lazy? You can't write Y-O-U-R? Are you scared that you don't know which one is Y-O-U-R-E and Y-O-U-R? Are you scared that you don't know which one is Y-O-U-R-E? Joe, I'm not fucking scared at all.

Y-O-U-R? I don't think he's talking to you, Suzanne. I think it's kind of bringing it to a larger audience. I just wanted to take it to a literal vantage point. This is a very rhetorical question, but I'm confused. Joe, I'm going to be so high just so you know. What do you think about emojis, Joe? You'll be fine.

Holy shit. Everybody's going'll be fine. Holy shit. Everybody's going to be fine. Ben, this is like the Cheshire Cat. That's a lot of weed smoke. This is like, we're like Alice, and this is the Wonderland of podcasts. That's some weed smoke. You and I are both Alice. I've been around.

I've told you at 47, smoking weed for a little while. That's crazy. Joe, we really want to talk about DMT. I know you do. Okay. But we're online. Okay, we'll do it. So is the CIA.

Fair enough. If I can get the CIA high and let them know that I'm on the same fucking page as them. Oh, I know it. Listen, bro, I'm not anti-American. I used to own a Mustang. But I need you people to know. You did not. We're sorry.

I had a Shelby Mustang GT500. How the fuck dare you? I've had a bunch of American cars. Right now, I don't have currently any American cars. Jesus. What are we working with right now? But when we did this video for your song, the Punk Kid song, we used your riff. I was driving a new Shell, one of those new Challengers.

Challenger SRT Hellcat. How did you know it was a Dodge? Because I paid attention, goddammit. I sent you an email. No, no, no. It wasn't an email. It was a tweet or an Instagram. I was there. Guys, am I allowed to

smoke in the marijuana party? Oh, I didn't know Ben wants to be a part of this party. Shit, Ben, I am driving. We gotta get a sandwich after this podcast. We talked about this. For the record. We talked about this. I'll light up a freshie.

Oh, my God. What did you talk about specifically? Do you guys nag each other? Like, marry chicks that don't fuck? Pretty much. Danger zone. Look, do you know what, though? We've got Kenny Loggins up in this motherfucker.

Highway to the danger zone. I think you should sing the next song no ben oh my god zero musical talent i know that's the point hey why don't you not make a big deal of it that's gonna help how about both of us friends just let friends be i love ben okay i don't have anything invested in ben not fucking up his words no no no I'm great I'm gonna be ultimately supportive and loving towards you just guys are the weirdest non-sexual couple yeah so much sexual tension I think I think you guys might have to one day you guys might wind up married you guys might wind up married is that possible so one day you guys get super famous and fucking flail away in the weeds of extracurricular Ben and I will probably get married when we're in our 70s.

Maybe 60s. No, 40s. 40s so we still have some action under our belts? Listen, there's a certain number of years you can put on your body when no one wants to fuck you anymore. Here's what we're going to do. Unless you're like a classic. We're going to check in with you to make sure you're cool with it.

And then we'll try to take it for a spin. Yeah. You want to take this shit to the next level. Would you be the officiant? Yeah. Will you fucking... Marry? Yeah, I've married people before.

How do you really believe that? I'm an ordained minister. Damn. Who ordained you? I'm not kidding. Like one of those online churches. The WWW? I'm not kidding.

I'm not kidding. They send me emails all the time. I'm good. I literally did marry a couple of that one fear factor together. Oh, shit. I married them in Vegas. They were cool.

Are they still married, Joe? I hope so. I ran into someone a long time ago that knew them. Am I driving? Oh, you got an Uber. No, I can't do it. Don't worry, we're good. No, I can't do it. Or if you want to take a lift.

Don't worry. Don't worry. We're good. We're good. I'll do it after we sing. Boom. Puss. Fuck you, Uber.

Oh, she went in for it. She went in for it. She went in for it. No one called Suzanne Chantel a push head. Listen, I'm trying to make something happen here, ladies and gentlemen. This is my second person I've convinced into smoking weed this month. Yes. Number one was Graham Hancock. Number two. Ohcock number two graham hancock that's a tiny little joining a friend of mine his name is bc is going on you have a friend named beastie his name is bc and he's going he's going on one of graham hancock's tours in egypt man he's amazing

i love the shit out of that guy and he was on the podcast and he had taken a three-year break from marijuana and he was talking about how out of that guy. And he was on the podcast, and he had taken a three-year break from marijuana. And he was talking about how he missed it. Well, he realized that he was kind of abusing it. He was doing it all day. And he was using it as a crutch. And he did ayahuasca, and he recognized the fact that he was using it as a crutch. And then on the podcast, he was talking about how he missed it.

Yeah. And so he took one, maybe two hits, and then just opened up like a flower. Wow, beautiful. Is that when you kissed him on the mouth? And then just opened up like a flower. Wow, beautiful. Is that when you kissed him on the mouth? And you sniffed. You sniffed. There's a reason why the table's so wide. Don't trust my instinct.

I love him so much. Just checking. I just like to make sure. He started talking with this great passion about these ancient civilizations that probably existed in Egypt. And the resistance to accepting them and he has this all this this fucking beautiful rap that's like a song it's like a song when he when he really locks into it when he really locks into this discussion of these ancient civilizations it's such a passion for him that he's constructed the the narrative in like this really beautiful melodic sort of like a play.

So when he tells it to you, it's hypnotic. You know, he's talking to you. He's gone so deep into that stuff, man. That's incredible. And every year some new shit comes out that makes him more. Where is that shit coming from? What do you mean? So there's new shit.

Is that archaeology or something? Yeah, yeah. Well, there's new shit. Is that archaeology? Yeah, yeah. Well, there's every year. If you don't know Graham Hancock, Graham wrote an amazing book called The Fingerprints of the Gods. Fingerprints of the Gods or Footprints of the Gods? Fingerprints. I think it's Footprints.

Let me make sure. Footprints is the two feet in the beach and stuff. Footprints of the Gods? Fingerprints. and stuff. Footprints of the gods? Fingerprints. Fingerprints of the gods. Okay, fingerprints. Anyway, sorry. I forget.

I've read it, and I forget. It's just the title. It's just a word. Just a noise you make with your mouth. But the idea behind it was that what he believed is that there are established areas of the world where there's archaeology that they can't quite explain. Massive stones cut with extreme precision, moved into position. Well, isn't that what Stonehenge is? Well, Stonehenge is nothing.

There's a place called Baalbek in Lebanon. Something greater than Stonehenge? Holy shit. Dude. Enlighten me. There's a bunch of them. There's not just one. There's a bunch of them. There's not just one. There's a bunch of them.

The oldest pyramids have survived much longer than the newer pyramids. There was a certain era. I don't know about all that. That's in the book. That's in Graham Hancock's book. But the pyramid thing is really under dispute between people that are real legit Egyptologists and people like John Anthony West, who's this brilliant alternative Egyptology thinker, and Graham Hancock, and a lot of these revisionist guys.

There's still some debate as to what's correct and what's not correct. But there's been a lot of evidence that dates the Great Pyramids, like the Pyramid of Giza, to 2500 BC. And that doesn't jive with this guy, Robert Schock, who's a geologist at Boston University, and this guy, John Anthony West and Graham Hancock, who believe that there's all sorts of evidence that there was massive erosion that probably came from rainfall. And one of them was on the inside the enclosure of where the Sphinx was built. So where the Sphinx was built, it was sort of cut out of this, you know, big stone quarry and the stones that were cut out were presumably smooth but over like thousands and thousands of years have become

like contoured and the debate is whether or not that contour is because of erosion with sand and wind or because of water and there's a bunch of geologists that have got behind the water and they're saying this is water erosion this is consistent with water erosion the number one being the most prominent robert shock who is a geologist at boston university he's done a bunch of papers on this and explained that what we're probably looking at is thousands of years of rainfall that's eroded these things which would predate the construction of this area the cutout the the like the the flat wall this area to like 9 000 bc which they don't have any civilizations that they knew of before like that age like it was making that kind of shit but then they found some stuff in turkey called gobekli tepe they found

this like big structure that's like this they're just uncovering it now i think they've only got like 10 of it uncovered so every and this is 14 000 years old between 12 and 14 000 years old so every year like they find more shit that makes graham hancock's theories like look more and more plausible and then he's got together with a bunch of other people that know about like asteroidal impacts this guy randall carlson who's an he's an expert on extinction events like asteroidal impacts and extinction events besides the dinosaur thing what there's been a fuckload of them bring it dude there's been a fuckload of them talking they think they happen all the time man they think they happen like every 12 13 000 years but what okay so 12 13 000 years ago what went extinct as a result of an asteroid

explosion all right i don't even know what i'm saying almost they believe like this is there's a lot of like guesswork when it comes to anything that's like 12 000 years ago there's a lot of like what the hell happened who knows like we like to think of 12 000 it's like look if you have 12 000 you can't buy a house you know if you buy a car if you buy a car for 12 000 don't expect to impress anybody, right? Right? If you're, you know, $12,000 is not much. So 12,000 years, eh, what is that? It doesn't seem like that much.

But it's a fucking long time. That's a lot of years. And 12,000 years ago, it's very possible that Earth was smashed all over the place with these asteroidal impacts. They keep finding all this stuff. Like they found recently, they found these micro diamonds that indicate some sort of impact. And then they found this stuff called nuclear glass.

It's like, it's like called tritonite or something like that. And it comes from impacts from these giant rocks, just slamming into the earth. And it's all, all over like europe and asia it's all around 12 000 years ago does that speak to any extinction that happened or is the kind of thing we're like okay these these had an impact in a different part of the world so it

didn't affect the environment like the dinosaur uh meteor was i'm totally talking out of school i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about i have no scholarly degrees on any of these subjects very convincing but the way it's been explained to me is there's a great mystery involving what happens when you have like uh what happens when you have like some big extinction event like where you like have no saber-toothed tigers left you have no woolly tooth mammoths what happened how'd they all die and they've pinpointed a very specific time and it corresponds the same time they're finding this stuff all over the place this stuff when they do the core samples so some it's very likely somewhere around 12 000 years ago we got fucked up giant rocks from the

sky just came down and fucked everything up. And a few people made it. Who knows how many? So the humans were actually present then? Most likely. Yeah, 100%. 12,000 years is not that long. Yeah.

Weird. We probably looked exactly like us. Oh, totally. Tattoos. I don't mean like that But I mean like our structure Like if you took a dude They probably didn't get as much food

So they were probably like smaller But if you took a person Same brain though Very similar Right If you could Yeah If you took a person

You know a regular person From 12,000 years ago And put them in a movie theater And walk by them While you're sitting in your seat You have no idea It looked like you i mean it was us jesus christ so those people probably had to start all over but but depending on where this is what i'm trying to understand is depending on where the asteroid or but why don't you make me smoke weed it's gonna go great it's just gonna get better i lost my sparkle it's there what

sparkle did you lose i lost my sparkle just that please continue what you were saying i'm just gonna i'm just gonna hang why'd you lose your sparkle i don't know yeah see this is what i'm saying i'm not a good weed smoker you're're a fine weed smoker. I think you're killing it. I think you guys should talk and I should not put this on the internet. No. Are you sure? I think that would be awesome. Maybe in a second.

Fingerprints of the Gods by Graham Hancock. Ladies and gentlemen, Fingerprints of the Gods. Available at Amazon.com. God damn it. Too much? No, I feel bad. Is Amazon super fucked up, Joe? No.

No. If it did, it would have missiles and tanks. It's definitely not super fucked up. I think if you're like- No, but you know what I'm- Do you know what I'm talking about? If you're looking at like a scale of fucked up, Amazon's nowhere near like super fucked up.

They're super convenient. You get on that Amazon One click. But they're not like- Are they running shit and chasing people out of the. But they're not like, you know, are they running shit and chasing people out of the fucking business and like,

I don't know, man. Crushing things? Is that what they're doing? I don't know. I don't know. That's got to be a general result. Are we talking Amazon.com?

Yeah. Oh man, they make life so fucking convenient. But is that sacrificing anything else? I ask because I don't know. I don't know.

That depends. I mean, like the people that they're sort of affecting are like the big business, like Target, you know, or whatever. Like you can buy your toilet paper, your dish soap, your laundry detergent on Amazon and it'll show up in two days. What about the small internet vendors? You know, it's like you're talking about all these other. It's not that tailored. small internet vendors you know it's like you're talking about all these other it's not that tailored like it doesn't it doesn't have like if you want sometimes there's like intricate um i

don't know fucking vitamin supplements or whatever but for the most part it's the are you okay yo i'm good no no no i'm massaging my chest out of fucking control but this is kind of the weird stuff I'm talking about are you touching your nipples I don't know if I don't know if Amazon's bad you got honey honey high I'm not inclined

we don't know what's gonna happen we're fine we're amongst friends how are we gonna get home we're amongst friends we got this we're amongst friends we got this

Christ relax I don't know maybe was it too much of a question wait can I go back to Amazon fuck yeah I think Amazon is amazing. Super convenient.

It kind of takes a little dig at the big business for convenience purposes. If you have Prime, you can get all this shit in two days. But it's not like you can get an intricate, tailored item that you need for the most part. Sure. I guess that makes sense. like an intricate tailored item that you need for the most part. Sure. I guess that makes sense. I don't necessarily think it cuts out business as much as it grows

their business and they're very efficient and it's convenient for people. But they kind of have a monopoly on the like we're going to ship shit for you

thing. Well, do they have a monopoly on it? I don't know. I don't think they do. I think a lot of people sell things Here's what I just really good at figuring out that you know, you can make it super convenient your one-click I mean what they're one of the few companies that started that here's why I think it's a monopoly though But and this is just for me. Can you think of one other company that does the same thing you're on amazon sell your shit on amazon

they just dropped the price it's a great service very convenient smack i think um hey ps i love amazon to them i love amazon i'm kind of i get like if i get drunk at night like ben's not a big fan of amazon just kidding what are you asking do you have a question no i do i did i already asked it that's good anyway oh man it's nothing wrong with it they're just the best at it they're great order they send you your shit jeez sorry if you can't keep up yeah but Anyway. Oh, man. It's nothing wrong with it. They're just the best at it. They're great. Order.

They send you your shit. Sorry if you can't keep up. Yeah, but now there's Alibaba. So that might change shit. What's that? Alibaba is like the Amazon. Yeah, I don't know what this is either. Jesus, Ben. Let's do this.

How do I not know something that you know? I've heard about Alibaba because I was passing. This is how much i think life is a simulation i was passing by this newspaper rack and there's this dude and it was like alibaba now worth more than google facebook biggest publicly traded company in the world i think and and i was walking by and i was like what the fuck am i doing like what am i what is this what am i looking at what the fuck is alibaba? It's like an... That was Pete Townsend's side project.

Whatever, fuck. What is Alibaba? As far as I understand it, it's... The movie Aladdin. Oh my god. Sorry. Do you know? Alibaba?

It's like... Sorry. That startup that made like unbelievable times of money. It's like an Asian equivalent of Amazon. You know, they facilitate businesses trading with consumers. Yeah, I know what it is. So it's like Amazon for China? What you do is you're hiring companies to do things for you.

So if you want a thousand wallets with your face on it, you can get a company to do that. I don't think it's a manufacturer. No, no. It's like a directory of manufacturers or like a distribution network middleman okay yeah and it's basically it's similar to amazon but it's just gotten so big and because china is such a huge marketplace it just went global and it's at least at the time that it was going out the biggest globally traded or going to be, on the precipice of that. Wow. When you think about the numbers of people, too, the Asian market is like, think about how many people are in China.

It's like a billion plus, right? 1.6 billion. Oh, my God. Is it that high? Yeah. Jesus. Is that real? 1.6 billion?

Probably more than that. Jesus. Is that real? 1.6 billion? Probably more than that. So, like, close to a million, like, say, 200, like, 1.1 billion, 2 million. 1,000 million plus another 600 million. Sorry, 600,000 million.

More than what we are. Yeah. That's insane. Because we're at 350 million, right. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah, because we have like... Because we're at 350 million, right? Yeah. Oh my God. Just think about how many goddamn people that is.

It's bad, isn't it? No. What's bad? You're fine. Having a moment with Jamie. Just stop and think. Think about how many more... No, I'm just...

I told you... No, she's fine. I love you guys so much. We're both... Everybody's good. Just think about the numbers. Think about how many Chinese folks there are

and then add that to Asian folks. That's another billion. Yeah. Can I drink this? Yeah, sure. Have some water. Thanks.

Think about that. Asian folks. What's going on? That's a lot. Asian folks, like China, India, India is another billion,

right? Mm-hmm. Close to it. Yeah. Fucking dude. Japan, Indonesia, you know, that whole area.

God damn, that's a lot of people. It's amazing, though. It's really, man, it's exciting. When was the last time you were in Japan? We are a swarm. We're a swarm on this planet. We're a swarm. There's billions of us.

You were like this when you did it. I was trying to this when you did it I was trying to be like Wonder Woman I was trying to be like Wonder Woman I was thinking strong Linda Carter Again, we're all in this together We're all the fucking swarm bees and beehives We're a swarm There's a lot of us I know, you knew that was coming

No, I didn't No, come on So, it's the low-hanging fruit I mean, that was obvious There is a fucking lot of us there sure is joe you know i mean there's still plenty of space don't get me right some of us that's good the good friends should band together live in a commune are you calling cult already i'm just saying it starts out you call it a commune on your chickens and your hunting excursions the police call it a cult Chickens

This is all this chicken conversation Oh my god farm fresh eggs every morning I think that would be like one of the best things You could do other than plant vegetables Plant vegetables is equally satisfying It's a beautiful thing Do you plant your own vegetables? Yeah that's cool

To be able to pull vegetables out of the ground I mean I don't do enough of it i would like to do all of my vegetables like planted garden vegetables i just think that'd be like the coolest thing to be have like a complete direct relationship with all the food you eat you know that would be amazing what what are the we're missing that right so like if you eat a chicken are you like thank you harriet i don the chicken, for your faithful duty of fulfilling our dietary needs? No. Okay.

I just go lizard. You eat lizards? No, I just go lizard part of the brain. Oh, is that like shrimping out mentally? No, if you're going to kill a chicken, you just go lizard. You can't have a lot of compassion. Oh, I see. You know what? just you go lizard you know can't have a lot of compassion oh i see i see so you know yeah you

know what i can hang honestly is as far as like the the uh spirit animal connections go chickens don't feel connected to them cows pigs i'd have goats it's a different thing with mammals i don't i don't want to oh yeah you know chickens are weird they're dinosaurs they're a strange bird that probably doesn't make sense. They don't look into my soul. They don't fucking fly. We're keeping them around. We're the reason they're around.

Yeah. What are we looking at? Just blinking. Why are you putting the picture up there? You're looking at the time. Why are you doing that? So if you wanted to play another song. We don't have to play another song.

We could just talk. Yeah, we're all right, Brian. Don't worry about it, buddy. Sorry. It's okay. We're talking about chickens. Yeah yeah we're just having fun and their souls this is what happens after we light up a joint chickens and cows and goats there's there's so many differences and their spiritual. You painted the picture. You dared me to smoke the gunge. This is what you get.

Susie, Susie, it's okay. Try to stop. This is bad, isn't it? No, it's fine. We're talking about virtual farms. Joe, Joe, I have a question. Ben? Yes, sir.

Put your hand up. You guys are in class today. Thank you for calling me. You're raising your hand. This is like Lord of the Flies in here dude Someone's gotta pass the bone You know what I mean? Lord of the Flies? Jesus man

Violent man We're sorry Jesus What the fuck That's not what the whole book was about man Eventually it was about violence Okay that's that story We're making our own

It's so dark Okay It's getting dark I still have my question i'm sorry lord of the rings reference i would have been more excited but you had to go with flies sorry i'm sorry okay okay i see vegetables what you're growing in your garden is it native to here oh good question that's a very good question he's such a thinker benjamin yeah that's a good question it is right like what okay like what, if you're going to grow lettuce,

what's lettuce like a regular Romaine lettuce? What's that native to? I have no idea. North America? Romania. We grow it in Ohio. Right. I mean, it's just a regular North American plant.

I don't think it's a desert plant. I don't think the weather doesn't have to be, it could just be, you just need to have sunlight. Guys, we got Google. That's all I'm saying. There's some crops that need more sunlight. Or another search. Another search could be another search.

Will you stand there like this? Guys, we got Google. That's all I'm saying. I don't want to align myself to that brand. It's a meme, bro. It's going to happen. Now you're going to meme. Remember don't want to align myself To that brand That's a meme bro It's gonna happen Now you're gonna meme Remember I got memed last time Ben Jaffe's getting memed Fuck Put your finger back up like that

It was great You are memed the fuck Somebody freeze frame that You memed the fuck on here son It's very important You get memed there Cause you're saying it It's not gonna happen

That's how it works That's not how it works I don't know how it works No one knows how it works We don't know Last time it was You can figure out how it works. No one knows how it works. Last time it was butter my scone.

Unfortunately. I think we should play a song. Joe? Do you want us to play a song? Anything. What should we play? Do you want ballad or non-ballad? I want whatever

you guys want to play. Fuck. Okay. Fuckity fuck. You want a paper, rock, scissors? For what? What's the choices? I'll be ballad and you be...

No, what are the songs? Oh, Burned Me Out and Bad People. I think we should do Burn Me Out. Fuck. I think it's a beautiful song. Okay. Is it possible to make a request for any time in the future? Yes, sir.

Could you do Let's Get Wrecked? Oh, shit. We could do that. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. They double oh shit. Well, that's going to be...

I mean... Double oh shit. Can we put that on nice for a second? For a second? Yeah, because... Yeah. We don't have the necessary instruments. We could do an acoustic version.

That's all I'm talking about. I'm not asking you to bring in a band. But it's not as good as the other stuff that we had prepared. Oh, shit. I think we could do it cool. All right. I'm not playing guitar, though. No, no.

I'll do it. Okay. I'm so scared. I have no idea what you guys are arguing over. That's what I love about being musically. But I'm fine. If you don't listen, if you guys are more comfortable doing something else what I love about being musically... But I'm fine. If you don't, listen,

if you guys are more comfortable doing something else, please just don't listen to me. Let's do Burn Me Up. Well, now I feel like a dick. You don't have to do that. No, no, don't. I don't want to put you on the spot.

That's not fair. Damn it, Joe. We just want you to be happy. I'm happy already. You got me stoned. We can stop this thing right now. Shit's weird. I have to put my glasses on.

We can end this shit before it gets ugly and we'll all be happy Okay Okay so fuck Judges Play whatever you want please Whatever you guys want to want

Go ahead Any song that's in your head right now Ben what's in your head What's in your head Ben Burn me out Is it a four-minute song? Don't worry about this fucking stupid clock. Ben, I can see your ankles.

That's what they look like. Ride that bitch. It's a heartbreaking song. Ride into the rocks. Come on, stop. No, it is. It's beautiful. We're going to ride this boat into the rocks, kids.

Okay. This is called Burn Me Out. It's W-J-R-E. Late night. You creeper. 7-10 Pacific. What if I have a boner? Honey, honey.

Yeah, you're a girl. What the fuck? Come on, Joe, just go with it. Jesus Christ. Ben, Suzanne. Oh, that sounds weird. Jesus. Let's check that out.

Hold on. Why don't you use the tuner on that amplifier? Excellent idea. Look, guys, don't say I never had a good idea. What kind of wonky-ass nonsense bullshit type... No, but seriously, let's take an opportunity to say that we're going on tour, and we really, really want to see you guys, whoever is listening, if you're in the cities, on our website.

Yes. They're posted on our website. And what's that website, Suzanne? Honeyhoneyband.com Honeyhoneyband.com Honeyhoneyband.com We're going to be in Texas, in Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Louisiana, California. Honeyhoneyband.com We're going to be in the state of your mom's house.

The YouTube video might end just so the audio listeners will be... Ustream. Yeah, Ustream. Yeah, Ustream, if you give out on me i understand you weak ass bitch you can only do three hours have we been doing a podcast for three hours jesus mary and joseph okay you stream is strong they're gonna hang in there i feel this this is a new ballad i feel this um hopefully it'll be it'll be on our record if not you'll you'll have it here forever

here it is it's called Burn Me Out yeah Oh, baby, I gotta say I learned the hard way with you Your words like books had me hooked like summertime cooking up my mind all the way through i guess i held on too tight I broke my fingers on your floor that night And I lost my faith in my own breath Who knew that love could feel like death

But it's not your concern And all I really learned Is all your roundabout Oh man, they burn me out You say that God knows the way But I'm standing in the dark I soaked you up You wrung me out here on a line

Messing up my time in the park. Oh, but it's not your rounds of roundabouts, oh man, they burn me out. It don't feel good, this goodbye, but by and by we'll go I won't put it on you I am well aware that I caused us trouble too. And I won't look back on you with anger. No, I won't. Even if you do the same or if you don't. Oh, but it's not your concern. No.

Concern, oh All I really learned Is all your roundabouts Roundabouts, oh man They burn me out They just burn Burn me out. Alright. That was fucking cool.

That was fucking cool. God. You guys are awesome. You're awesome, Joe. It's so cool to be friends with you guys, for real. Oh, man. I'm so goddamn impressed. I just love when I see someone, like when I see a band that taps into this weird, very consistent kind of special energy that comes from like songs

that just flow your songs like your songs are so like representative of you guys you know it's weird been knowing you guys as friends and then like seeing your writing and seeing the music and the singing together and seeing like the new songs being created. It's really fascinating. It's so weird. I have no skill musically or talent or knowledge or nothing. Stop it. That's not true. That's not true at all. No, it's 100% true. No, I'm telling you.

So when I see someone who can sing and people can put music together, fascinating shit, man. That was awesome. Thanks, man. Thanks, too. Thanks for having us. Anytime. Anytime. You guys are the shit

this is awesome this day only band I've ever worked with we've never worked with anybody else well Everlast oh but never like on the road never for a show

we've talked about doing it that would be the shit you guys Everlast Joey Diaz we love to go on the road i feel like it's a lot like comedy or stand-up at least though i don't know i've never done stand-up but i just feel like performing it it's kind of the same energy or idea you know i mean i think it's

all like whatever the fuck you're trying to get out of you through whatever medium, whether it's playing the violin or doing stand-up. It's all what's trying to get out of you. Whether it's building a house, whether it's fucking putting a car together. When people do things, they're trying to express something about their own curiosity and creativity. It's trying to put something together so they could show it to other people and go look look whether it's you know creating a book or creating an idea that turns into a song that turns into a hit that turns it's like we're trying to get something we're like look at that look look look look and i found this i found this in the other dimension

dimension of creativity i've brought it back look look look look look all you have to do is you sit down by yourself and you tune in you just gotta tune in and you write everything down and you figure it out and then you practice it and look look look what i got now i mean that's what that's what you're doing that's what anybody who's creating anything when they're creating a movie they're figuring out how to like go deep in the imagination and like pull something out of their fucking head and hold it up for you. Yeah. And what's so cool? Sorry.

No, I'm serious. I was into that. You just blacked out, son. No, no, no. We lost each other. I blacked out too. I don't even remember my last words.

I'm with you, my friend. I'm with you too, but I don't know why. I miss unity. Stay together. Yeah, let's do it. Stay to the road. Stay off the moors.

Stay alert, stay alive. Susan Sainto. What did you call me. I'm just unity. Stay together. Yeah, let's do it. Stay to the road. Stay off the moors. Stay alert. Stay alive. Susan Santa. What did you call me? I said stay alert. Stay alive. Did you call me Susan? No.

I said Suzanne all the way. And we don't have to. I don't want to. That's my new tattoo. Suzanne all the way. Suzanne all the way. Yes. Oh my God.

That should be a trend. That should be a trend across the country. Hashtag. That's great. If you're thinking about doing that, I'm fucking kidding. Don't be a trend. That should be a trend, cross country. Hashtag. That's great. If you're thinking about doing that, I'm fucking kidding. Don't get that tattoo. Jesus Christ. Don't do it.

If you do, you and I are going to spend some time together. Whoa, jeez. Just kidding. That's pretty. That's cats in a wide net. I should slow down. Between what you said and the words, just kidding. I'm drunk and a little stoned.

The gap was giant. The gap was too big The gap was too big. It was too great. That was fun. We should drop what I just said. We're fine. We're together. We're all friends.

Whatever. I'm just going to keep forging ahead with this. I don't know when we stop. I think we're supposed to stop. We're talking about all this. We're talking about this. This is the internet. What she just said about the well of creativity,

the exciting point to me about that is it's all the same thing. It's the same well. And the only difference then is just some sort of technical aspect. Did you learn to do stand-up? Did you learn to play the guitar? Did you learn to make movies? It doesn't make a difference. That's just...

Like what the path of your creativity flows through yeah whether it's your painting or whether it's your music or whether it's your whatever it is the path of your creativity whatever it flows through yeah and it's like a raw technical element and that's it so what really matters is where you're coming from from that well perspective you know maybe but i mean that the other thing is that like i feel like certain people are just drawn to certain certain type of activities certain disciplines certain things and when they resist that there's like huge issues with humans totally that's exactly what we're talking about earlier. And it's like a huge loss of confidence for people.

Creative suppression. You feel bad. You feel like, it's almost like there's a just grand puzzle going on. And you're just kind of like going towards what's pulling you? And is it healthy that it's pulling you in this direction? Like examine it. Figure it out. Figure out what it is. And if you resist it, because you go, well, it's not a sure thing. that it's pulling you in this direction like examine it figure it out figure out what it is and if you resist it because you go well it's not a sure thing or it's not how do

you feel about conformity then in that respect like like you being joe you know and then you're in certain social settings or whatever do you um you know are you malleable can you change into a way that like you're like oh, I'm with this crowd or. Oh, I can tell. I can talk to anybody. I can sit in a room full of born again Christians and have a friendly conversation with them. I probably couldn't have a decade ago. Yeah.

But somewhere along the line, I've realized it doesn't matter if you're right or I'm right. It's not a fucking game. Okay. or I'm right. It's not a fucking game. Okay? And so, instead of quantifying it as a game,

which is like a thing that guys love to do. We love to do it. We want to be right. I think just people love to do it. People love to do it, but guys specifically. Because guys like...

That kind of makes me feel better. Guys like to fucking win arguments. You know? It's a barbarian thing. It's some fucking weird, you know, pub sword fight shit left over from the fucking dark ages i don't know if i sorry you know i don't know if it's a gender specific thing i think sometimes you just want to connect with people it's not so much about dudes

and or ladies you know i think i used to feel really guilty about being able to conform so easily because i love everybody. Because I can hang out all the time. And then I was like, well, did I just like exploit myself or exploit parts of myself to fit in here? You know what I mean? But at the same time, I think it's okay to just have accessible aspects of yourself to connect with people. Yeah, I mean, absolutely. Are you going to occasionally run into the wrong people? But I don't think that's like a male...

I think that's across the board. Yeah, no, that's across the board. I agree with you. Especially the way you just said it. I think, I don't know, being argumentative. I mean, women are argumentative. Driving towards conflict.

Men are, women women are we all are right it's just it's not really gender dependent but i think there's a extra like sort of dominator trait that a lot of men tend to have you know that want them to win arguments look i'm gonna win this podcast how do you win it i'm just saying i'm the i just saying I'm feeling like the dominant one Guys, we'll allow that I feel like we're all winning this podcast I like the way you talk You're like a fucking politician

God, you're such a peaceful lover I got a new name for you This is what you just did It's Cheezus You're the cheesy Jesus You're the cheesy savior You're Cheezus queso emergency. In queso emergency. You're the cheesy savior. You're Jesus. Pray for Jesus.

Do you know who told us that joke? In queso emergency. Ben's mother. Swear to God. Jesus? Vivian Jaffe. She told you the Jesus joke? She told me.

Say it again. I swear to God, I thought I was making that up. No, Ben. Have you guys heard that before? Is there a Jesus joke? The cheesy Jesus? Yes. Listen, Ben's going to tell it to you right Ben. Have you guys heard that before? Is there a Jesus joke? The cheesy Jesus? Yes. Listen, Ben's going to tell it to you right now.

Ready? This is the mom from Wisconsin? This is the Jesus joke. Oh. In case of emergency, in case of emergency, pray for Jesus. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Come on.

Oh, my God. And scene. I'm sorry, but that is an acceptable racial not racist I feel like we should go out with that I don't feel like there was any anger involved in that joke I feel like it was all done in the spirit of love and the reality of the way some motherfuckers talk and it's not bad

the way they speak English is better than the way I would speak Spanish okay and my mom is half Ecuadorian amazing fact we're even safer we're even safer now Joe oh my god

is that was it make us safer did you guys think our friendship would go to the next level on this podcast it has and I knew it

I knew it would how dare you no I wasn't doubting I was just like wow this is the least musical and most silly of all the podcasts we've ever done.

Do you think our friends will still like us when we leave here? It doesn't matter. If they don't, it's on them. You're right. Why did we do this so horrible? We had some fun. What did we do? We had a few good friends, had a bunch of laughs together.

What did we do? We had a potential air raid. Air raid? I heard jets. Apparently, I googled it, there was a jet that invaded the airspace. No shit? I heard jets. Apparently, I googled it. There was a jet that invaded the airspace. No shit. I don't know.

Russia. Or a plane. Some sort of a plane. That was 2013. Should I stop that? Picking fights. It was just because Obama's in town. Picking fights. Incorrect.

I just googled it and looked at the first one. I didn't even look at the date. I was trying to participate in the conversation. You don't think there's going to be smoldering? 2013, that's what happened. Do you want to find out about the 2013 event, which I was accidentally

referencing? Joe, why do you have to do shows after this? Because the ball keeps rolling. Hey, ha, ho, hey. You gotta keeps rolling. Hey. Ha. Ho. Hey. Okay.

You got to keep rolling. It's impossible not to. Okay. If you don't snooze, you lose. That's Brian. What? Brian. DJ Red Band.

Are you spinning some shit over there? Well, sorry. Oh, my God. Sort of. Honeyhoneyband.com. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Is that where they should go? Yes, sir. Honeyhoneyband.com. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Is that where they should go? Yes, sir.

Honeyhoneyband.com. Also Twitter and Facebook. Honeyhoney.com. Twitter, Facebook. Was or is a porn site. It used to be a porn site. Oh my God. Which we also operated.

A good porn site? Boom. Or like a beekeeper fetish. I would call it. Is it a beekeeper fetish? A lot of bee fucking... Rudimentary level. Fucking grabbing the geechokes.

There were no bleached buttholes on that site. They were using the fucking beekeepers outfits to choke each other. I have to stop. What? Auto-erotic asphyxiation due to geechokes on beekeepers outfits? My cheeks hurt. Good collar choke on a beekeeper. Is this still going?

Like people are listening to this? This podcast We can end this right now Okay Honey Honey Band On Twitter Honey Honey Band On Instagram And of course Facebook

You guys are the shit This was fun You're the shit Thank you so much I enjoyed this This was a lot of fun This was really fun You guys are always

As always awesome Brian Redman Ladies and gentlemen Desquad.tv Go there I enjoyed this. This was a lot of fun. You guys are always, as always, awesome. Brian Redman, ladies and gentlemen. DeathSquad.TV. Go there, buy some t-shirts, support the Death Squad empire. And that's it, you fucks. Next weekend, I will be in Philadelphia, and I will be in Washington, D.C. Philadelphia on the 17th.

I'll be at the Tower Theater and then the Warner Theater in Washington, D.C. Dirty, dirty, dirty freaks. So, I'll see you guys soon. We have a lot more podcasts this week, ladies and gentlemen. Keith Webber, Anthony Cumia. It's going to get crazy. So, we'll see you soon. Much love.

Big kiss. Oh my. Thank you, boo.