The Joe Rogan Experience - #588 - Philip DeFranco

Episode Date: December 18, 2014

Philip DeFranco is a popular YouTube and internet personality. He hosts "The Philip DeFranco Show" where news stories are discussed every Monday-Thursday at youtube.com/sxephil

The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Hello, everybody. Hello, Philip DeFranco. Hello. Welcome. I don't know what that voice is all about. I know.

Welcome to the show, though. This is a fun day because this is the first day. James Franco! from some hacker characters which is uh pretty fucking weird huh yeah i mean it's it's that sucker right right up on my mouth yeah that's what i like to say i'm living inside you yeah um it's uh i mean it's it is rough there were a lot of i saw a lot of people reacting yesterday like i can't believe america did this and i was like it's sony it's not it's not america they're actually japanese it's kind of hilarious but But yeah, it is weird, right? Yeah, because it sets this precedent that if you make something that we might not want, we can pressure you away from actually releasing it. A defector says that North Korea has 1,800 cyber warriors.

What does that mean? That means he has a whole clone of people that will attack anybody. A clone? I mean, group of clones. You mean a whole army of people that will attack anybody. A clone? I mean, group of clones. You mean a whole army, right? Army of clones. Yeah, what the fuck, man? But it's weird, right?

Because every time you see a picture of North Korea and a person in front of a computer, it looks like they're just trying to figure out how to use it. They're like, what is this? Well, obviously, South Korea is responsible for Samsung, and so many incredible uh innovations come out of south korea i mean they make some of the best electronics in the world and so i gotta think that some of that smarts gets up into north korea it's going through that minefield it's able to get there i would imagine that they steal people and or something they just hire him they

just throw money at him probably can't nobody's from south korea is going to go to north korea because they'll keep you there they'll do whatever the fuck they want i mean you hear the shit that they do to those people in north korea it's like the last out of all those um historical dictatorships that you heard about all throughout time where people did horrific, terrible things to the people that were under them. This is like the last one of those. The last one that was a real dictatorship. Like one guy who really runs the whole show, and everyone's terrified.

Yeah, and I thought there was like the the thought that he was actually going to be knocked out of power and then it just turned out he had a cold and like he sprained his ankle yeah well who knows yeah who knows what's going on over there but as a person who you do these youtube videos and you started them essentially did you just sit in front of a camera and just create your own just yeah i mean i was uh it was eight years ago uh i was in uh i was in college uh i was going through the pre-med program i hated life and i had no money so youtube was just like this free entertainment uh because i couldn't go out and do anything and so i was watching these videos and even to this day i think like when people

watch me it's like what is this schmuck talking about i could do this and i could probably do it better and so that's what i felt eight years ago and i just kind of started ranting about like bill o'reilly and then that turned into more pop culture and then it turned into like the eight minute show that thing that you did recently this is one that really got me is that lena dunham thing which which one i know they've talked about her a few times did you talk about her a few times the one where you were you you danced around it very well. For folks who don't know the story, Lena Dunham wrote a book. And in the book, she described this sexual encounter that she had with a man where it's tough to say exactly what was going on but her description of it was essentially that the guy was being very uh forward

or you know very very pushy and she started talking dirty to him out of i don't know what how she described it she said it was out of fear is that what she said i'm trying to think of that specific one i know that i feel like one of the last times she was in it there were people that were accusing her of uh molesting her sister yes that's a different one that's a different one you're talking about this is the one where she she was saying that the guy raped her but she was talking dirty to the guy i don't think i covered that one yeah you did i did yeah what did i say yeah that's the question well you were just saying that it was mixed signals, that she was sending these crazy mixed signals, that it confuses people as to what the definition, the actual definition of rape. We're in a weird time now, okay?

And in this weird time that we're at, there's a lot of exposure and a lot of discussion about rape and i think that's a very good thing because obviously rape is a terrifying horrible crime i have three daughters you know it scares the shit out of me um i just just as a human being it scares the shit out of me that someone can do that to someone but this description which she described in her book it doesn't sound like you can call that rape someone but this description which she described in her book it doesn't sound like you could call that rape to me i mean it sounds like an unfortunate sexual encounter her roommates convinced her after the fact that it was rape you know the whole story she was telling her i can't believe you don't remember your own videos i don't think i made

this you must have no i mean it might have been source fed, maybe. No, it was you, dude. Okay. I'm going to go after. Okay, do it. I'm going to find it, you motherfucker. Oh, it's going to be that got you moment. I'll be like, when did I make this video? But either way, the idea behind it is that she decided after the fact that somehow or another this was rape. And then she wrote this book about it and now the guy who you didn't talk about this but the guy who was the accused

in this has now lawyered up and even though he's under a different name people have sort of identified who he actually is and and it's become this crazy ugly ugly thing. And then it came out that she molested her 12-year-old sister for, like, a lot of years, like, many years. Yeah, I know there was the story that she wrote in the book, and it was about her sister when she was, like, one or two. I think it was something like that. And there was, like, the gravel story. And, I mean, that was weird.

The way that I like to cover it is if it's not black and white, which very few things are, I try to talk about what both sides say and then like where my mental place is at that moment. But I mean, there's a lot of conversation about rape right now. And I think I agree with you. It is very good, especially with like all the Bill cosby stuff coming out this was what it was it was real rape versus rape culture how long ago was that i don't know whatever did you just google philly d rape because this is weird now some good photos i might i might be wrong dude i might be wrong and actually might have been somebody else that did that video sorry i was like oh no i have a terrible memory sorry you've done a few though right you've done

a few uh on her in this whole story i've talked about yeah her in the book i've talked about rape stories uh recently just because it's there's just there is a real conversation to be had and so many times it just gets lost on the internet whether it's some stupid hashtag that goes out there and had a good intention and gets hijacked and then it becomes just men versus women rather than all of us against rapists right oh steven crowder that's who it was i got i got you confused but yeah all of us versus rapists yeah this what is going on like Why is rape such a hot topic right now? Do we go in cycles where things become important things to talk about for whatever reason? Right now, obviously, it's race.

Race is a huge one now because of Ferguson, because of the guy that got killed in New York, Eric Garner. We go in these weird cycles, like pop culture cycles. Gardner. We go in these weird cycles, like pop culture cycles. Well, I mean, I think it's, it's something hits and then it is always a mishmash. I think of, is it a real issue? And people know that they're going to get clicks, right? You know, it's just riding that wave. I think a big part of it is riding that wave, but also like, it's a problem. I think when I talk to people, um, a lot of it is, you know know i understand that i don't have that that mindset because of whether people call it like white privilege or just like my specific specific way of like being raised i don't have that that outlook on life so i find it very interesting

yeah i i i think especially now with uh with race with race race and with police brutality. This is probably, this subject has been brought up more, not just obviously on YouTube videos, but just all throughout social media over the last couple months that I can ever remember, like in my lifetime. I'm trying to think of other times. I don't know. Race. Don't you think with all this Eric Garner stuff and all the stuff that's going on right now with Ferguson and the police protest, this is a strange time. It is a very strange time. The situation in New York, I think, perplexed me the most just because I've been always, just for the longest time, talking about body cams on cops.

And just like it has to be a thing. But like everything else, there's no just one fix. It's not like we throw cameras on and it's like, oh, right. Racism stopped. But I do believe that it is a good first step. And I think then you do have to punish officers that that do not turn those on. And I think that places that make it where you can punish someone for filming a police officer, if you antagonize the cop, you know, I think that's something.

But just filming, like showing what happened, like that's crazy. It's crazy. And they just passed that recently in one of the states. It was Illinois, I think. I think it was, yeah, Chicago. Just insane. I mean, I don't know what the fuck they're trying to accomplish by not having complete transparency like that. That's bizarre.

Right. It just, you wonder, like, why? I mean, and there have been police officers that come out saying the only people that would be against this are dirty cops. Yeah. Or people that just don't want any more scrutiny. Maybe they think that, maybe they think there's like, especially with Chicago, Chicago is so bad. The gang violence in Chicago is so completely out of control. You read about the murder rates in Chicago.

They're off the charts. Maybe they just think the only way to clean that up is to just fight fire with fire and just use dirty cop tactics or something. Like some big summer blockbuster movie where you're like, yeah, it is okay. Yeah, like some Denzel Washington character from that. What was that movie?

Training Day? Yeah. Where it becomes, yeah, I don't know. So you started just ranting about things on these YouTube videos. Where along the line did everybody on YouTube agree to do these smash cuts? Like where you edit out all of the dead air in between everything you say you know that weird thing that you guys do yeah yeah the jump cut yeah the jump cuts uh i mean the jump cut was a thing before before i did anything i think the the guy that popularized it

was uh zay frank who works he's like one of the big guys over at buzzfeed now um but i mean just any any time online it's not for youtube it's very not uh a podcast in the sense of you know we're sitting down talking you can take a moment to to drink those seconds matter if i don't make you interested in 15 seconds you're out isn't that crazy i mean it's very ADD. Over time, YouTube videos, the longer content can live, but it is kind of what you have to understand when you're making that content. But isn't it like, in that sense, aren't you like kowtowing to morons? You think so? Someone who can't pause?

I think that it's become just kind of the entertainment. I think I enjoy a video that has jump cuts. And then if I'm in my car, I'm riding my bike, I'm doing whatever. That's when I listen to podcasts or if I'm like relaxing. If I'm at work and I have 12 minutes left on my break, I want to try and get in as much as possible. Well, your videos are very entertaining. Don't get me wrong. I mean, there's nothing bad about about them but the jump cut thing is it's just it's almost like it just grabs you right like you can't let go like this motherfucker's not gonna stop he's not gonna stop talking like this one complete sentence they just you know there's you're taking out every air every um every every deep breath everything

you know it's just... Welcome to America. Max Hedrum called it, right? Oh, yeah. Back in the day, like... Yeah, sort of, right? Kind of. Yeah. When I first started, it was much worse,

because I would edit in, like, iMovie, and so I could just shoot one part of a sentence at a time and then change the frame. And so if you go to my older videos, it's very, very jarring while in the new stuff, sometimes maybe you get 25 seconds. How many YouTube followers do you have now? YouTube, it's somewhere in 3 million. Jesus Christ. I don't know.

How have you done this? It's over eight years. It's not like a lot of these, like the new young British kids that they just like, they make a video where they where they you know it's like five things I love and it's like eight million views yeah you've created what the other thing that I like about you is you like me also like chimpanzees yes I noticed that your your logo has a chimpanzee on it what's that all about um I don't know oh you know what it was no you know what it's not it's not even like a cool creative reason. It's just for greed.

I had a Steez monkey poster in my background for the first two years of my YouTube career, if you want to call it that. And I was like, I can't sell these, so let's make our own. Oh, that's hilarious. And we did it. 3,397,000 subscribers.

Damn, Sam. Did you stand in front of a camera mostly and just talking? Yes. Yeah. Um, we've, I've, I've, I've created a, you know, some new channels with different people just so that something can grow past me. But for the most part, I mean, that's, that's at the end of the day, that's the main thing. So you started like a whole business because of this.

Yeah. So I, uh, after doing this for a while, YouTube came to us. And it was part of this big YouTube channel initiative. I think they spent like $100 million across the board. And Vice jumped in, Red Bull, a bunch of other things that aren't on there anymore. And so I created another channel called SourceFed. And then from there, SourceFed Nerd. And then after about a year and a half of that, it was acquired by Discovery.

And so now we're just making stuff with and for Discovery. There's so many of these guys out there doing this now. I mean, you were one of the first ones, but you can't keep up with how many people are just standing in front of a camera commenting on whatever, pop culture, the news, politics, things that are going on it's uh it's really interesting that there's there's so many people that are really good at this i mean this is this

is something where if we lived a decade ago there's no outlet right most of these people and so they would all have normal lives they would be in you know you would be in medical school or you'd be a doctor by now or someone would be you know Whatever whatever other job they chose instead now You know they've got a million two million a few three million Followers on YouTube that are hanging on every day waiting for new videos to come out I mean you have a bunch of like really psycho obsessed fans. I Try to think I'm like psycho obsessed

No, there are a bunch of people that are really pumped there are people that have been with me for for eight years like and that's that for me that's like a lifetime uh people that you know i was wearing a backwards hat and i had stupid uh fake uh fake earrings and you had fake earrings um fake diamonds you know when you go to like claire's when you're how old are you i See, when you're 29, eight years is a long fucking time. Because the difference between 21 and 29 is like, man, you were a child and now you're a man. Almost. One year you'll be a man.

Yeah? When I hit 30? Yeah. That's when it starts? Sort of. I've been waiting. I've been waiting for it to feel that moment. I mean, if I met me when I was 30, I'd be like,

bitch, you ain't a man. Right. Well, yeah, when I think about some of the stuff I said, I mean, I don't know if it does that stop? Like when you're 30, are you like, I never said anything else I ever regretted? No. No, it never stops.

I regret some shit I said an hour ago. It's now getting around it. I mean, as a human being, I think the development of life is sort of like a peaks and valleys sort of thing. Like you hit these peaks and then you fuck up

and you, you know, like we were talking about before about Tom Segura and you doing some sort of a podcast where you lose weight. The reality is

you'll lose all that weight and then you'll fucking get fat again for a little bit and then you try to lose all that weight and I think it's very difficult to completely change who you are or to completely stop saying words you're trying to cut out of your vernacular or completely stop doing certain things like i

was listening to bill burr the other day he was talking about uh he's gonna stop watching porn he stopped he hasn't watched porn in like four days he's like talking like as if that's some sort of accomplishment like four days you've got you've gone four days congratulations you know you're not you know what can you think of what do you what's your number that i've gone without watching porn yeah well when i've gone um camping or i've just like a week flu but then the moment i get to a hotel uh yeah probably it's probably never been more than a couple of weeks i've definitely got a couple weeks just because i've been busy you know it's too accessible i'm just trying to think like what what's what's the longest i don't know did you watch any today

today i know i covered a story on uh porn hub for because they release story yes you know what it is journalism yes it's very serious no it was uh it was just a story my whole thing is like bringing it kind of i guess the hbo model uh where like every first season it's just like set dirty sloppy sex in random scenes that make no sense. Right. And then they're like, and we're going to keep you because it's a really good TV show. Like Big Love.

Big Love was nothing but like- Porn. Yeah, for the first season. And then it was like, and then here's the storyline. So yeah, it was what countries last the longest? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Which one is it?

China. Wow. I don't know why. How long do they last? It's about, on average, it's 15 minutes. And then in the United States, Tempe, Arizona is one of the shortest with five minutes. And for some reason, just Coke hands.

How did they find that out? Well, they just looked at the amount of time someone stayed on a video page and then left. And then for some reason, Mountain View, I don't know what's happening in Mountain View, but they last 21 minutes. I don't know what they're doing. Mountain View? Yeah. They last 21 minutes?

Yeah, that's the average. I don't know what they're doing. They're probably distracted. Mountain Lion's outside their house or some shit. They have to put their pants up every couple of minutes. What the fuck is that scratching at the door? I don't know, man. Yeah, it's a weird time when it comes to porn as well because this has just never been in any time in history where you could watch people fuck so easily.

I mean. Yeah, man. I remember it was like a big thing for me my parents were gone for two days and i was just trustworthy enough where they would leave me at home and i remember when you would have to buy a three-hour block of playboy on it was like direct tv yeah and i put a vhs in and i was like i'm saving this forever and like and but then i was like afterwards where you like afterwards where you realize you made a terrible decision you're just like oh no the bill's gonna come and so I'm just waiting

every day and uh and the bill comes in and uh I I open it up um the steam thing doesn't work I have to rip it open um but luckily we have our own things and uh and i take it out i scan it uh for some reason we have an old school typewriter because i don't know photoshop or whatever the equivalent is uh when i'm like 16 years old and i like i faked an entire bill so that they would think i got titanic that's hilarious like i was i was terrified but i was very proud of myself i was very proud of myself that's a brilliant way of handling it but it it was very, in the moment, terrified. Oh, my God, what did I just do? But they still paid the bill.

Yeah, they paid the bill. So it was fine. So they really never found out about it. No, never found out. That's genius. It's like the one time I got away with something. You should tell them now. Just bring it up at Thanksgiving.

Next year's Thanksgiving. Here's the deal. There was a time. And those Playboy blocks are fucking brutal anyway because you never saw real i mean you kind of saw sex like they would show penetration for like a second or two but there was no cum shots i don't know why cum shots are important there's usually no penetration in uh the hbo play or the playboy for the playboy stuff some of them have a little i think right and they sometimes just like there was shows that you're like why

is this a thing there was sex court i don't know if anyone's ever like remembered that it would just be like it would be a guy that was not paying enough attention to his wife and the judge would like suck his wife's tits just like do it right just pass down some weird judgment. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's kind of odd that technology is fueled in a lot of ways by porn. You know, like HTML5, when that came along, one of the earliest adopters was porn. And because the iPhone and the iPads were using HTML5 and they weren't using Flash anymore, everybody's like, all right, fuck Flash.

Fuck Flash. We got to go with this. I mean, that's essentially what happened, right? Yeah. But how is Flash even still alive to this day? I have problems with Flash every day. Do you guys have the problems every day? I always forget it's a thing until I have eight tabs open and then all of them crash.

Yeah. Yeah, it definitely crashes. It's just a weird sort of a thing and it's also got a weird um reputation because steve jobs is so anti-flash and so like outward about some open about being anti-flash but yet it's still around and it's still got holes in it it's still you know a big problem security wise and. And now with Safari almost blocking Flash to the point where videos won't work and there's this little banner that's supposed to pop up that says it's in power setting mode or something that never does.

So then you have to update the Flash. It's just a pain in the ass. There's so many things that are just happening. I still don't know what Adobe Reader is. I just know that I update it all the time. What does it do? What does it do? Is that for PDFs?

You're right. I don't know what that is. Yeah, what does Adobe Reader do? Someone will tweet us, I'm sure. They're like, you idiot. Yeah, I don't think I've ever looked into it. I just always say yes. Obviously, I need to update the shit out of that stupid thing.

When you make your videos, do you do it based on pop culture, based on what's in the news, based on shit you want to talk about? How do you set out to create a video? I think it's 70% stuff that I want to talk about. I always want to talk about one big worldwide story. Today, I think it is actually the Sony story. Because, I mean, this kind of, if you think about it, this stoner movie has somehow now turned into just an international conflict. Right.

So that's the main story. And then I open with Pornhub's stats, because that's what you do. And then share some interesting videos. And then there's one other thing. I don't know. I had to hurry up because I had to be able to make it here. stats because that's what you do and then uh share some uh some interesting videos and then there's one other thing i don't know i had to hurry up because uh i had to be able to make it here how many how many minutes are your videos videos on average uh i get yelled at if they're young uh long or the shorter than six minutes who yells at you the internet really yeah um because it used to be a two to three minute show um because that would be the the amount i could

actually try and keep it interesting and then it slowly became this seven to twelve minute show and so that's what it is usually uh and yeah i'm trying to think if i ever go shorter not really you could always put those pauses back in son oh no man then people would see how stretch that fucker out 10-15 minutes like i'm like i'm cringing inside with all my little things where I say like Oh like is rough Like and you know You know is a weird one There's this thing where you got

this guy I catch myself saying you know and I'm like you fucking dumbass You better stop saying that stupid We all need those Obama pauses Yes we do philip defranco yeah yeah that's what he does to keep from saying um or some people say fuck you know which is almost as bad like it's fucking fucking guy with the fucking thing with the

fucking that's my dad yeah yeah oh yeah my dad's like my dad's pure new yorker so it's like every three words. What do your parents think of this, man? I mean, you're what they call, in quotes, a YouTube sensation. Oh, no. You are. You're smirking as you say that, too. I love it. You're a sensation.

That's what I was going to describe you. YouTube sensation, Philip DeFranco. I mean, that's what you are. You're a YouTube sensation. I've seen a dozen of your videos, at least, probably are. You're a YouTube sensation. I've seen a dozen of your videos, at least. Probably 20. You're a sensation. If I've watched a dozen of your videos, you are, in fact, a sensation, sir.

To be honest, though, how many have you watched on accident? None of them. Oh, okay. Well, usually, most of the videos that I've watched of you is either someone put them up on my message board. They're like, listen to this cool video or in a thread maybe where you're talking about something that has to do with the subject of the thread or someone will send it to me on Twitter. But there are always really good points. You're always really well measured in the things you talk about. You're obviously thinking about these things in depth and you don't come at it

from any weird ideology. You look at things very balanced and you don't come at it from any weird you know ideology you look at things very balanced and i appreciate that yeah i try to it's a i don't know i always think of just if someone yelled at me that i was wrong you know and didn't give me like any any possible getaway like right you know give me an out right give me give me something uh but my parents uh they hated it at first really did yeah my why well because Well, because no one made money for the first probably four years. Oh, so they were like, you're wasting your time? Yeah. When I was going through pre-med in North Carolina, one of the big things was my grades

started slipping. I was kind of just doing it because it was a hobby and I was going to stop making the videos. But then YouTube brought around the partner program, which was just their way of putting ads on it. And, you know, you got money and there were all these big promises. And then it turned out like we were making pennies, but it was still like this revenue, which was amazing to me, like making YouTube videos and making money from it. And now it's a whole thing because we're with Discovery. We have a sales team in New York. Wow.

It's just weird. But we didn't make money for the first four years. Yeah, but that's why it's good. It's because you did it because you were actually enjoying doing it and you were enjoying the feedback. And that's sort of like an apprenticeship. I mean, think about to get a bachelor's degree, you're doing four years. So you did four years in YouTube and then you graduated.

It's the 10,000 hours, right? Yeah, I mean, shit, 10 10 000 hours of that's a lot you know we haven't done 10 000 hours of podcasting you don't think we've done 580 something podcast that's three not always three sometimes two yeah that's not it's not 10 000 hours no it's fucking it's a lot 10 000 hours is a long fucking time but i mean it's it's just the old school stuff and i don't know everyone kind of had to change along with it there were a lot of people that were making videos back then that hated the prospect of of money that money was going to ruin it all um like we were all going to be wearing like pepsi shirts right and it was all going to go downhill but you Like we were all going to be wearing like Pepsi shirts. Right. And it was all going to go downhill. But you just have to just change with it. Yeah, that is the real fear, right?

Is that corporate media comes in or corporate entities come in, buy you out, give you an offer you can't refuse. And next thing you know, you can't talk about anything controversial. You get asked to wear certain clothes. You get asked to talk about certain movies. It would be good if you could talk about the interview. It's our new film that's coming out, Philip DeFranco. I'm sure you have a positive review of the interview.

You know, that kind of shit. Yeah, we're slowly... We have a segment called Calls from Colin because, like I said, some of the company was purchased by Discovery and then we talked about the... What is the... There's the anaconda video or the which one was the two-hour special of the guy that got oh yeah that asshole that didn't even

get eaten and i just and i made fun of it and i and i just anytime anything's discovery and i'll be like i'm looking forward to your call colin because i know that it's going to come down well i don't know what the fuck they were thinking with that they put this guy if you don't know what we're talking about they put it was called eaten alive or something like that and so they put this guy in this armored sort of suit and they covered his body in pig blood and then they sort of fed him to an anaconda so the anaconda wraps its body around him and just starts breaking this guy's body and he taps out this pussy he never got eaten at all at all like that thing didn't even put a mouth on him it didn't even like get its mouth over his head yeah it was

uh i don't know i just sort of like bit him a little right he was nibbled yeah he got nibbled he got he got hugged he got cuddled that pussy terrifying creature he got hugged i mean they are fucking unbelievably strong. And that's one of the things that I was thinking of when I was hearing about this. I was like, I wonder if this guy is aware of what the pressure of that thing constricting him is going to be like. Because even if you're in a suit, you're probably not going to be able to breathe. The thing about what they do, even if it doesn't swallow you whole, they they wait for you to take a breath and then when you exhale they clamp down so that you can't inhale again that's what they do that sounds so

terrifying oh they're the scariest things on the world yeah but i mean i would have done the same thing i would have done the same thing tapped out yes i would have never done it i've been fuck you i'm not doing that i don't know i think it got great ratings of course it did they lied to us they lied to us they had a two-hour show where a guy they knew that. I don't know. I think it got great ratings. Of course it did. They lied to us. They lied to us. They had a two-hour show where they knew that fucking guy didn't get eaten, and they called it eaten alive. He didn't even get fucking halfway swallowed. He didn't even get his foot swallowed. You know?

You think that's what went wrong? He didn't start from the right way? No, they always start from the head. That's the snake's choice. You know, the snake gets to decide what's really insane about anacondas is there's people in brazil that swear that they can get to 100 feet there's people in brazil especially um people that have seen them like a long time ago that have seen enormous ones like we don't really know like what the biggest ones are of anacondas i

think the biggest ones they've ever captured have been like something like 30 or 40 feet or something like that but people believe that they can grow to 100 feet i have no idea i would fucking insane you could tell me anything about anacondas and i'd be like that's amazing i'm not gonna question it at all that's what you should if it's coming out of my mouth, for sure you should question it. But the whole idea behind an animal or a snake, what it does is grab ahold of you and then wraps its body around you and crushes you and then swallows you whole. And if you see them when they have something inside their body, they can expand.

They can swallow these enormous animals i'm not messing with that i'm not i'm not going anywhere that could possibly happen ever no but these goddamn discovery channel shows or any of these is that discovery it was discovery right yeah there's so many of these goddamn shows where they're doing this now where they're they're they're sort of baiting you in to watch them with these stunts and then when you actually do watch it like how about those goddamn mermaid i can't to this day people believe that those animal planet shows were real that these mermaids were real they never said that it was a piece of fiction they never did they they made a mockumentary do you know what i'm talking about no i know that like i'm scarred

because there was like there was a show that was on Fox when it was when I was like 10 years old and it was it was like I look back and it was obviously fake but at no point during it did they say that this alien abduction thing was fake and oh yeah that's right for like for years yeah that one was crazy because no one ever took credit for that one right I don't even remember what it is i just i just it's just in my brain of i was terrified of this for three four years yeah they um that was one where everybody really was convinced that that was a real alien and there was a bunch of people that were like you know supposedly special effects designers who said we can't even do that

they always get some dummy that's like a makeup artist is like, we're not even capable of doing that today. And then, you know, you talk to some like Rick Baker characters like, yeah, we are like, what the fuck are you talking about?

You assholes. But all you need is like one person to get on camera and, and say that. And, you know, maybe, yeah. Whoever,

whoever made that was the guy. Like, that's how he was able to get a Jurassic park. Because like, if you look at Jurassic park, that shit's awesome. That's all CGI, though. No, but I'm talking about the first one compared to where we are today. If you look at the first one, how advanced it was.

It's amazing. Yeah. I just watched it the other day with my four-year-old. She was not digging it. No? The six-year-old loved it. The four-year-old was like, fuck this. She buried her head in her mom's lap and started crying and screaming.

When the T-Rex was chasing the Jeep, she checked out right there. That was like, enough. She was fine when the brontosauruses were moving around. But as soon as the T-Rex came around and ate the goat, it was all downhill from there. At what point is it super important to stay away from scary TV for kids? Because I have a new one. It's a good question. I think that, I mean, what is scary?

I mean, it's good to expose them to reality in a certain sense, like to let them know that there's good people, but there's also the potential of bad people, without actually bringing them to prison. Say, look, these are the guys with the tattoos on their face. Stay away from them, son. I don't know. I mean, it's a good question.

I think we're entirely too scared as a culture by media in a certain way. I mean, I know people that just watch those goddamn serial killer shows, you know, those shows where they profile serial killers or they talk about serial killers or they talk about love gone wrong and, you know, this. I have a friend who watches all of those, all those, has them DVR'd, just can't turn away from these goddamn shows on psychos. Yeah, I think the demo of that are 60-year-old women at home. 60-year-old women? I'm pretty positive.

It's murder porn, yeah. It is murder porn. Yeah. Yeah, that's what Duncan calls it, too. Yeah, that's really the best way to describe it. Really, you get some sort of a weird thrill out of listening to this story about how this guy bought all this acid and saved it up and got a tub and put it in the woods and chopped the lady up and you're like jesus christ well it's like csi but real life yeah you know yeah that is weird when you see them in court and they're shackled you're like that's the guy that did it that

fucking guy really did it yeah i mean but i'm not above it i i know that i i searched like forever on uh on like itunes and all over the web to watch a show called The First 48. Yes. And I was trying to go through the top ten, and I was like, oh, this is terrifying. And the number one is it's just a guy killed seven people, and they're all part of his family. And then you're just like, what is – this is like life. This is life. How do you do that?

And then you're just like, what is, this is like life. This is life. How do you do that? Yeah. That's a weird, like, weird reality that some people can go off the rail completely and just kill everyone in their family, including like kids. They can kill their kids. Yeah. See, that scares me.

Oh, yeah. Because I have a son now that's seven and a half months. And just every day when you look at the news, it's like this child. Well, because in New York, that kid or that guy cut his mom's head off and kicked it through the street on Halloween. Oh, my God. Like, that's a thing that happens. His mom was a cunt, though. Jesus Christ. I heard she was a cunt.

I heard she was always telling him to turn the TV down, shit like that. Go to bed. Yeah, she was always telling him, pay tv down shit like that go to bed yeah she's always telling pay rent you gotta pay rent fuck her she made him he didn't ask to be born did you hear about this uh video game actually you covered it the other day hatred yeah that's oh is that the one where you had the video asking if it should be censored yeah it's one of those things where I look at the game and I try and think of everything that I've played in the past. And I've played super, super gory, violent games like Manhunt, and I've loved it. And you're looking at strat guides on how you can get the more vicious kill

on someone in a Manhunt. And I think it's more of just from the outset, the way that it's being portrayed is it seems like hey you know that guy that goes to a movie theater and kills everyone what if you were that guy and so it's a game

that I don't know if I'm going to play I might play it so that I can cover it but I also understand that yeah maybe it shouldn't be censored you know that's my thing

it's one of those things that's a gray area for me oh that's fucking crazy you're shooting people's head off with a shotgun there's also a scene yeah massive stabbing people and so it's one of those for me it is like something where i'm just yeah i'm trying to get where i try and get past myself because my reaction uh and i and i you're not showing this on the show are you yeah just pieces of it it's a video game trailer do that though video game all right but don't just in case yeah but so we get pulled off youtube for everything yeah we show nature videos anytime we show a video and we go over

and talk about the video we get pulled for some youtube copyright fucking horseshit but it's a good point like what at what point in time as a culture do we say hey what the fuck is this like this isn't even like a hero is going around killing bad guys in a very violent manner like you just like so that's only killing people so that's like that's the main difference when someone makes a comparison to manhunt it's usually you think okay bad guy or you know crazy backstory guy killing other bad guys um this with just kind of a mass killing of innocent people uh you also have to wonder we've only seen one trailer you know is there is there something where there is there is a story there or is it just intended to to make people angry but i always look at video games uh some some aren't but some i think are

like any form of entertainment art in some way you know is it is it supposed to make you really nervous right like when you see that you're like oh shit like that's fucking crazy how is this a thing um for me i i go okay that's that's a good thing that's a conversation it's something that goes a step deeper and that kid right that they've said killed someone because of Grand Theft Auto or of Call of Duty. I mean, this is just, it's going to get tagged on, you know. Maybe that guy plays that game, but I know that I play Grand Theft Auto and I, you know, run over people. I wouldn't do that in real life. Right.

I'm not a psychopath. You do it because it's a goof. Because also, you know, there are not real people. Exactly. And it's kind of naughty. Right. I'm not a psychopath. You do it because it's a goof because also you know there are not real people. Exactly. And it's kind of naughty. Yeah. It's kind of naughty to just run people over for fun.

Right. What were you just highlighting? What were you just highlighting? The actual game, like the description of the game is kind of fucked up though. Oh, yes. It says like,

I just hate the world and the human worms feasting on its carcass. My whole life is just cold, bitter hatred. And I always wanted to die violently. The time for vengeance and no life is worth saving and i'll put in a grave as many as i can i mean that alone is just like crazy yeah it's like you get to be michael myers from

halloween you know i mean if you played halloween you got to be the the psycho is that a valid piece of art because people are running away from you but is it only valid if you're the good guy yeah but that's a little bit of fake compared to this is realistic this is you going into a mall and killing cops and children and stabbing them and blowing our heads off with shotguns where jason's like a monster that lives in a lake or something right that's a good point yeah yeah i mean obviously I don't want to have anything to do with it. I don't want to play it, but should it be censored is the real question. Right, and so what happened was it was taken off of Steam,

and then it was put back on once one of the co-owners looked into it and was like, I don't think this is a valid reason. This is us making it too personal. This was part of a game coming to the forefront because people voted for it to be up, whether it's because they wanted to troll the general public or because they wanted to generally play this game. And it is always the question, are we protecting people by it not being a thing, or are we just telling grown adults what they're allowed to do?

Yeah, that is the question, right? Yeah, and that's why I say it's a gray area, because you know kids are going to get a hold of this. And who becomes the arbiter of common sense or decency right becomes the who becomes the judge as to what is and is not detrimental to society that looks like detrimental to me i mean it's that's like you're entering into that realm of like the the full extreme like you know like faces of death is that uh is Is that, when you watch those Faces of Death, is that actually entertainment,

or are you just freaking yourself out watching horrific things? And who the fuck is filming that stuff? Snuff Films. Who's filming those things? Were Faces of Death real? Some of them. It was news footage mixed with fake.

Is that what it was? Yeah, I just know that when that was a thing, I think, what, it was like 10 years ago? More than that. More than that. Yeah. I was just like, I was freaked out by the idea and I never wanted to look at it. Yeah.

How much of Faces of Death is fake? Some of them were real. Like the guy who shot himself in the head, the cop or the judge in the courtroom. Yeah. Was that Faces of Death? Yeah. There was like the train, the woman running across getting- Yeah, that was real.

That was real. But then like the blood orgygy which was my favorite part growing up uh that was fake you know where everyone's fucking and right yeah that was fake what about when they knocked a monkey over the head and ate its brains i think that was fake but i'm not sure what that one where they're knocking it with a little hammer and then they take the monkey brains out like yeah jones stuff yeah and then eat it yeah that's by the way the worst thing you could ever eat on a monkey is the brains because the monkey is like really close to a human being that'd be like eating human brains which is how they get prions that's how those guys in new guinea wind up getting jacob kreutzfeld disease the same thing as mad cow well you get it from eating brain tissue. Cows get it from eating brain tissue of other cows.

It's some neurological disease that comes, it's like nature's protection from cannibalism. Nature's, nature, like if you become someone who preys on the same species as you, nature has sort of this built-in fail-safe mechanism to make your body shut down. I, like, stuff like that i get if you're in an area where that's the only thing but when when i think of brain like someone eating monkey brains i just imagine like some guy that has way too much money yeah just everything in life is boring and he's like let's do this yeah some like you know most dangerous game type dude who wants to hunt humans you know he releases them from his mansion and tracks them through his country estate.

Yeah. Wasn't that an Ice-T movie? It was, right? Well, it was also a Pauly Shore movie, right? There was a Pauly Shore version. Somebody hunted Pauly Shore? Yeah. Come on.

Google it. For real? You already wrote Philly D rape into your Google bar. I didn't. I wrote Philly D Lena Dun your Google bar. I didn't. I wrote Philly D Lena Dunham. Okay. I did rape.

Shut up. Holy sure. When you bring up video games, this is an interesting time with video games as well because there's all this Gamergate shit going on. There's always all this take on women and gaming and feminism and gaming. And, you know, a lot of people think that certain segments of gaming have been co-opted by extreme feminisms. Pauly Shore is dead. No, but that was different. That was a new one.

Yeah, Pauly Shore is dead was like he was faking his own death, right? Yeah, I think so. I don't know. That was a movie. Maybe I'm own death, right? Yeah, I think so. I don't know. That was that movie. Maybe I'm thinking of something else. Maybe, but there was definitely an Ice-T version, and there was a really old version called The Most Dangerous Game, and I think

it's based on an old book, or an old story at least, perhaps a short story. I don't know. Yeah, that Gamergate stuff, I just try and stay away, man. Yeah? Too much? Well, there are people that are having an actual conversation, and then there are people that think they're actually having a conversation, and they're just yelling at each other.

And then, obviously, then you have the harassment. And it's just, any way you touch it, it's bad. Well, the harassment's awful. And the feminism, the overreaction, and thereaching and some of the most ridiculous, ludicrous points about toxic masculinity and attaching that to school shootings and things along – that's ridiculous too. But it's not hurting anybody. They just have goofy opinions. The harassment is the worst part of it and i think the harassment that's coming from the side of the pro gamer gators it's only a few people but it fucks up the whole

conversation i think most people are like look we want to watch video games that have girls with big tits okay we want to and it's okay just like it's okay to have big tits in porn just like it's okay. Just like it's okay to have big tits in porn. Just like it's okay to, you know, they're goddamn like superheroes, okay? It's like comic book stuff. It's not supposed to be real. It doesn't have to represent reality. Whether it's Phoenix from the X-Men or whether it's, you know, Laura Croft in Tomb Raider. Like cartoonish representations of human beings is fine. Just like He-Manman master of the universe

was not anti-male you know when you have these women that have these ridiculous proportions and you know they have stereotypical roles in these movies that doesn't mean the movie's bad it doesn't mean it's detrimental to society it doesn't mean it's detrimental towards uh male female relations or female empowerment that's's nonsense. That's nonsense. You know, people will treat human beings how they are going to treat them based on how they grew up, based on the education they received,

based on a lot of variables. I don't think video games factors that heavily into that. I feel like the reason video games are there, it's a soft target, and it's just constantly there. There's constantly new stuff. I feel like the reason video games are there, it's a soft target and it's just constantly there. There's constantly new stuff. I don't know. I just don't think about it that much. I know that I

like playing games and everyone else can argue. Well, I used to play as a chick when I played Quake. When I played Quake, I always played as the chick. You know why? Because it's fun when she jumps. When she jumps she goes, ha! Ha! Ha! She would make that noise when she jumps when she jumps he goes ha ha ha she would make that noise when she jumps and she was a smaller target that's why we play as a chick

because in quake 3 like you could be that big fucking robot but if you were that big fucking robot everybody could see you really good if you're that little tiny chick that's jumping around it's a better character to play with i was just talking to jamie about this the other day because i only play as girl characters in video games always have well yeah but but but if i go hey jamie was playing as it plays as a guy and i play as a girl but like jamie i was like asking why do you play as a a guy i mean like if you had to sit there and watch a guy walk around for three hours like just his butt for three hours right that would be gay as fuck if you just sat there and watch a guy But if you watch a girl's third person so look yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was played in first person, but yeah, you're right Yeah, why what what is everyone like video game gay Jamie doesn't want anybody think he's gay and he wants to go way out of

the way so look I'm a guy He doesn't want anybody thinking that he secretly wants to be a woman it's cute though because when we play together it's like we're on a date because he's like i'm like this hot chick and he's with this guy and i'm with this guy and you should see his character it's all like hey i'm cool i got an earring you know i don't i don't want to play any game like this fucking murder violence game whatever it's called what is it called hatred hatred i don't want to play this game but if you want to make that game i can't stop you from making that game just like i can't stop you from listening to fucking speed metal you know just

like i can't stop you from watching violent gory movies you know there's a lot of violent gory moves i don't have nothing to do with but who's to say who the fuck there's a lot of like functional normal rational people that like to watch fucked up shit yeah i mean but i think the thing a lot of people need to get around is whether something is being censored in the in the sense of like the government and and censored in the sense of a private company right one of the big things gta5 was was pulled off of shelves in Target, I think in Australia. There was another place in Australia that pulled it, and a lot of it was because of the treatment. People saying that the treatment of women in that game was wrong. Yeah, there's a lot of hoes in that game, right?

You could run them over and shit, smack them. Fuck them. You could fuck them? You could go to a strip club. And fuck? Well, you can fuck in your car. So you go to the strip club, and you can pick up a girl and give her money? Yeah, you can get hook can fuck in your car and so you go to the strip club and you can pick up a girl and give her money yeah you can get hookers and then you they start calling

you and then you can meet for dates and then yeah i wonder if it would go away if they they just made a like a dude strip club like and guy prostitutes you know like jamie would be there oh how dare you oh how dare you that is so unfair dare you? Are you kidding me? That is so unfair. If they did that, if they did that, I'd be the first person to jump in game, record it, and put it up on YouTube. I'd be like, look, it's the first dude on do blowjob in GTA 5. Well, I think that once, I've been talking about this on stage, I think that once they

develop artificial men, like artificial human beings, like Blade Runner style, that's going to come. There's going to be women that have sex robots in their house. And we're going to find out what women really like. When you can actually buy a person that is an artificial person that was created entirely in a lab and you could manufacture their personality and get it to exactly where you want it to be and have them do anything you want them to do.

They're essentially robot sex slaves. You're going to go over to your grandma's house, and she's going to have five seven-foot-tall Zulu warriors to just throw dick at her all day. That's going to be the reality. That's what it's going to be. You're going to go over to your mom's house, and everyone is going to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime,

and they're all going to be walking around with whitey tighties on and giant hogs. A black Arnold. Maybe. Maybe she likes them all mixed up. Maybe she likes Arnold. Maybe it'll be Arnold. I mean, they're going to be able to recreate celebrities. I mean, Jennifer Lawrence is not just going to be on the cloud.

You're going to have her in your fucking dungeon. You're going to have her locked up. That's going to be real. Look look it's not that difficult to do if they can make a 3d representation of her right now which is pretty accurate i mean the the graphics that they can do right now in video games are fucking incredible and the cgi they can do is incredible and then you've seen that robot japanese face where it's getting pretty creepy. It's getting pretty creepy. They're getting really close to human beings.

They haven't bridged, even in videos. What is that valley they call it? They call it the eerie valley. I forget the term that they use. That is the difference between me looking at you. I'm looking at you. I know you're really there. between me looking at you,

I'm looking at you, I know you're really there, and there's just weirdness when you're looking at an excellent representation of a CGI human. Like, we went to the NVIDIA headquarters in Northern California when I was doing this sci-fi show,

and we saw the latest, greatest, high-tech version of human beings that they've created, and it's incredible. It's so good. But there's still some shit that they can't do, like tongues.

They can't do... It doesn't look like a real tongue. And it doesn't look like real eyelashes. And the eyeballs are a little off. I think in the future, though, we're going to be growing all our parts as soon as we're allowed to do that. We're going to be growing fake tongues.

Oh, yeah. And that's what's going to be growing you know fake tongues oh yeah and and that's what's going to change where it's actually real skin you know but inside it's a robot but it feels real the sex feels real yeah for sure i mean the robots are going to be made out of some sort of artificial skin that is indistinguishable from regular skin it's going to be heated to the same temperature as a regular person's body. I mean, the insides will probably be just artificial organs and some sort of a weird construction. And that's going to happen, man. And when that happens, you're going to find out what people actually like. Because I think a lot of what people complain about is like, people feel, they feel disempowered. You know, like women who don't look anything like Lara Croft. They're like, sexism in video games.

The patriarchy. It's horrible for male-female relationships. Chauvinist men who exist on white privilege. But if you could have seven foot tall Zulu warriors throwing dick at you all day, you would, you lying bitch. You would lock yourself up in your house. You wouldn't tell a word. You'd walk out of your house all frumpy and fucked up. You'd just been dictified all day, confused.

Your hair's going to be in a bundle. And you would give up on all your feminism and gaving bullshit. Unless that was how you made a living. It would be interesting to see what your friends, what their version of what their perfect girl would be. It would be interesting to see if everybody was everybody was asian you know like for men it would change for men what the reality of men is we have dna that is designed to want to have sex with as many people as possible because that is the reason why the human race made it to 2014 the human race didn't make it to 2014

because men were eager for monogamy and once their woman died they could never love another like in these fucking goofy ass movies and books no the reality is men want to fuck everything you know we just can't and what we why can't we we can't because we either aren't attractive enough or we can't because we have a girlfriend and she doesn't want us to or we can't because we have a girlfriend and she doesn't want us to or we can't because we have a family. For whatever reason, you want to stick your dick on a lot of different things. And the reason being is because of your DNA. It's like super simple.

Society and our culture and our feelings for other people are the only thing that keep us from doing that. I don't know if there's anyone that's against sex robots. I think that the stuff that you're talking about, I'm sure many wives would be like, yes, give my husband a sex robot. He's fucking annoying. She'll have no power. That dude will get divorced like that.

He will do whatever he wants. He will be going golfing whenever he wants. He's not going to listen to anybody anymore. If you have some Tracy Lords in her prime sex robot at your house, guess what? Your wife can't tell you shit.

That bitch better shut the fuck up. You're lucky if you feed her. She's lucky if you let her stay in the house. You need to sleep where the dog sleeps. You can't sleep in my house anymore. You've been telling me

what to do for 20 years. And women, the same thing. You think women are going to deal with their fucking beer-bellied stupid husband and his stinky dick no they're not going to they're going to be like look harry it's over you know i got arnold one two and three behind me and i have three fucking arnold schwarzeneggers with giant hogs in their underwear there's going to be we're that's gonna you know everybody's worried about population control the real problem is going to be not enough people having babies because no one wants to have

anything to do with biological people because everybody's just fucking these absolutely perfect sex robots i'm all for it i think i think i think once we got past all the weird sex shit that we keep inside right because then you don't have to have another person judging you, we can hate each other for, like, good reasons. I honestly think as much as I really truly enjoy sex and I enjoy pleasure and I think, you know, affection is, like, one of the best things in life. Not just, like, sex, but just hugging people. You know, it's beautiful. You know, there's something really awesome about affection. people you know it's it's beautiful you know there's something really awesome about affection but i think one of the things that's holding back human beings and one of the things that keeps us

in this sort of animalistic state is this competitive desire to be attractive to find attractive people to you know to be sexually attractive and to mate with sexually attractive people this is all like weird sort of confusing shit that kind of keeps us from being the next level of enlightenment and reaching the next level of enlightenment and when you look at aliens you know the archetype gray alien they have gi joe dicks like there's nothing there right they're totally smooth they have no muscle they have no there's nothing sexually attractive about an alien. They're just like these, these sort of like almost insectoid, you know, smooth body, smooth

limb. There's nothing curvaceous or sweaty or animalistic or there's nothing kinetic about them. They have these giant fucking heads, this little slit for a mouth because they probably don't even use their mouths anymore. They just communicate with their brains, and they have super-powered brains that can move shit with their mind. That's probably where the future is going to be. If they could figure out a way to recreate pleasure in a much more intense way than you

ever get from sex, and just do it with the mind. If they could figure out a way to do that. Demolition, man. Yeah, you're not going to need to fuck people anymore. Yeah, but I think, so once someone made that alien, right, and it's all smooth, everything in the future is minimalistic, do you want to be the guy that draws a dick on it? Because you'll be that guy that was like, it should have a dick, though.

It should have a dick and less well that was look if you go to the uh you know i had to study this for i didn't have to but i i read about it a lot firsthand just for my own amusement but then when i was doing this sci-fi show i i had to really get into alien abduction and try to figure out like what are the common themes and the common theme is these people that get abducted they all say that the aliens need our genetic material because they only reproduce through cloning now and they need fresh dna that's what they say but they also say you know they're the the real problem with all that stuff is those people that get abducted are all goofy yeah almost all of them and i think that i believe in aliens i just don't know if they're abducting us i don't know i don't think so but i definitely i think there has to be something else

well there should be something else well the idea of infinity this is a this is explained to me by a physicist who said that the universe is so large that if it is in fact infinite, not only is there a you somewhere in the universe, but there is a you that has lived every second of your life exactly the way you have with every other event on earth happening in the exact same order. And an infinite number of them so not just one philip defranco that has been on youtube for eight years and has 3 million 397 000 youtube but an infinite number of them and every nod that you've done this philip defranco has done every smile like you just did every philip defranco in the universe has done that and all other possible variables like philip defranco staying in law school philip defranco becoming a gay meth head philip there's every possible variable that you could have done in your life is being done

throughout the universe that's how big infinity is yeah i think when i have those conversations though i get i get like i are you still freaking out about my fuck it's a mind fuck philip defranco so i mean god damn mind fuck i mean is is it is it all those small little infinite changes or like are you talking about dinosaurs on skateboards in infinity is a thing yeah it's possible the infinity is so big that there's truly no end to it like Like, it literally has no end. There is no end to the universe. See, my small ape brain goes, no.

Yeah, you can't wrap it. It's beyond our capacity. It's like taking an iPhone 6 and waving it over an ant going, look, I got the new shit. That ant doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about. It can't. It can't. Look, 16 megapixel camera 128 gigs the ant has zero

capacity for for absorbing that information right and i think when you get to something that is as big as the concept of infinity but we're better at understanding the concept of infinity than a chimp is or than our ancient ancestors you know than australia pythagoras you know whatever you know ancient hominid so i think that as our technology grows and as our understanding of the universe grows most likely slowly but surely our capacity to understand that will grow as well but certain things like infinity it's so far away it's so it's so far away like intellectually for us to wrap our head around i don't think we really can yeah i mean i don't know i i just remember in college just waking up in the middle of the night terrified of those thoughts

right because it's just it's too big yeah it's just it's it's terrifying i mean i'm okay with not mattering in the grand scheme of things but just to think that it's just so big. Well, then there's the fractal notion of the universe, which is even more fucked up, which is as big as the universe is, that it really is just one atom that is in a person that exists in another universe that is also infinite. Or it's all part of like a computer program.

Those movies, fuck, man. There was like four of them that came out in two years yeah well that's not just a movie man that's there's this guy uh gates what is his name james gates the uh he's an astrophysicist or is he a quantum physicist one of those guys string theorist string theorist he um has done all these computations on string theory, and he's found this underlying computer code, self-correcting computer code in all of the equations of string theory. I don't understand what the fuck this guy is saying. He's coming on the podcast.

We're flying him in. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eventually. You're staying home for that one. There's no fucking way. There's no way. Why is he staying home?

Because he'll fuck that up. He'll start talking about poop or something like that, and I'll get confused. It gets distracting. But this guy has come up with these theories that are based on this self-correcting computer code that was discovered by human beings in the 1930s. This self-correcting code, he's isolated this and identified this in all of these these string theory computations so what he believes is that in some way this may be proof that we are in some sort of a computer simulation and that one day without a doubt

we will have the capacity if we don't blow ourselves up if we don't get hit by an asteroid die in a super volcano whatever we will have the capacity if technology continues to expand an exponential rate we'll have the capacity to create some sort of an artificial reality that is indistinguishable from this reality and if that's case, how do we know that we're not already in it? It is quite possible that we are already in it. And that's not just stoner, dummy, fear factor host talk. This is actually like physicists. This is actually like people who are studying this stuff from an objective, educated perspective.

Right. And it's cool. But I mean, other than finding out if it is a real thing, does it change anything? Yes. In what way? You could just fucking go balls out. You can go balls out. You could go balls out right now.

Yeah, but you go to jail. I don't know. Are you going to find the code and then you're going to be able to change it so you don't go to jail? No, I don't think you can do that. I mean, I think there's, I mean, it's like any game. You know, if you're playing a game, there's rules to that game. Right. Right?

If you do something, it takes away your health and power. You know, I mean, that's what happens if you get on heroin in this game. Right? Yeah. I mean, there's certain things that people do in this world where if you think about it if you were completely objective and you're standing on the outside and you were going what is going on there oh they're playing a game and they have you know x amount of years in this game and you know you have cells and everybody's given a different

character and everybody has a certain amount of you know points you're trying to achieve like i had this friend that uh used to the comedy store. You remember Rob from the comedy store, Brian? The guy that works in Phoenix now? No, Rob was the guy that was addicted to EverQuest. Remember? And he was completely addicted to EverQuest.

And this poor bastard would come to the comedy store and he was pale. He would be ashen. He looked sick. All he was doing for like 12 13 14 hours a day was sitting in front of his computer and playing everquest and he said like i'm so good at making money in everquest but so bad at doing it in real life and i remember thinking like you're playing the wrong game like you're in this game but this game is not you got to play this game the way you're playing that game like if you went around this game life the actual life

the knock on wood life that you could feel if you played that as if it's a game the same way you're playing everquest as if it's a game boy you know you would you would do amazing i mean you're fucking balls to the walls for 12 hours a day playing this game where you're a goblin or some shit. You got a battle axe and you're running through Mordor. But some people make tons of money from that. Now, right? Well, so, I mean, there's the old school way, which was currency stuff. I was a big nerd.

I played, what was it? It was like a Star Wars MMO, and then they ruined it. What's an MMO? Massive multiplayer online game. Yeah, most people listening to this don't know what the fuck it is. Sorry, sorry. I fill people in.

Before I got on, Lindsay was, my fiance was like, be specific. Sometimes you just glaze over shit that no one knows what you're talking about. She gives you notes?

That's cool. Oh, yes. Yeah, man. She's my biggest critic, which is good. My wife just tells me not to be retarded and I'm like, too late, bitch. i wish that was a word that was that was easier to use without

getting crap you can use it you just gotta fucking not give in son it's not a medical term okay retarded means to retard to be slower some people are retarded they are slower in catching on to other folks it doesn't mean you're mocking a disease i'm not letting it go i'm holding on to retard with my greasy guinea paws until the bitter end see i say that until they arrest me i say that in 24 to 48 hours there's a tumblr post with 200,000 like reblogs it's like he hates everybody good tell him to suck your dick all of them tell those dummies to fuck off they're all fucking children they're all fools okay it doesn't mean you're an unkind person you're saying retarded you're not saying it around oh look there's certain terms i won't use

okay i won't call someone a nigger okay i won't call i stopped using faggot i'll use it with brian occasionally when there's no one around but we we're friends, and I'm joking. But I won't use it. I never use it when I'm talking about a gay person. I won't ever marginalize someone based on some things that they can't control or whoever they are. But when someone's retarded, it just means they're being an idiot. And it's not as good to say they're an idiot. Like, you fucking retard.

That's what you want to say. It's not a medical term. It never has been. It used to be mongoloid idiot. They used to actually say that on people's birth certificates. As soon as you said it, it was like, ugh. There was something in my chest that hurt. You have a child, yeah.

It's horrible. It's horrible that we were so insensitive that we used to say mongoloid idiot. But it does feel like there's this list, right? That stuff's just slowly getting crossed off. Bitch. You're not supposed to say bitch. Oh, yeah. It's a new one.

Kamal Bell was on the podcast. He said he gave up on the B word. I'm like, what B word is this? What are you saying? Or thug. He won't say. You can't say thug. I think that was a new one it was

thug they were trying to do that with bossy do you remember that bossy yes feminists were trying to push the elimination of bossy because bossy was disempowering young women to call young women bossy oh she's so bossy like they were trying and everybody went not yet we're not that retarded yet we're not gonna let you get rid of bossy yeah fuck you fuck you there's a bunch of social retards out there that's a big part of the problem there it is ban bossy i i heard him say so look at that retard and i was like what's he gonna look at this banning bossy banning bossy there's nothing wrong with saying bossy, goddammit. Pledge to ban Bossy.

Pledge to fuck you, Tumblr. You fucking psychos. Whenever they include kids in the campaigns. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that Beyonce on the ban Bossy bandwagon? Oh, dude, you're against B. I'm against B if she's against B. She's against the B word.

That is so crazy. People are goddamn crazy. They're crazy. People, I feel like it's like their job, some field, to just get angry at stuff. Well, you know what it is? People have the ability to affect some form of change. You know how you touch your screen and you see that, you know, you touch the LCD screen, you see that weird indentation where your finger is, and you're like, ooh, I could change the screen with my finger.

And so you just start poking at it. And some of it makes sense and some of it doesn't. But there's a bunch of people out there that are incredibly oversensitive. You know, the social justice warrior crowd, incredibly oversensitive and looking to, like, in some way, pasteurize culture

and boil it down to this completely inoffensive, always punching up sort of an environment. That's the same sort of mentality that's trying to take away victory in children's games. They don't want anybody to win because then someone has to lose. Well, guess what, fuckface? That's how how we get better you get better by feeling like shit you know one of the ways you get better socially you get rejected you know you know that's what happens like girls go you're a fucking loser and you go damn i'm a loser and then you go home and you get your shit together yeah when i was when i was little i uh i i went to uh i had i like you know it was

like it was always like a subway or something and then like a karate studio right next to it and i went there and i loved it for two years and then i went to my first tournament i placed like eighth and uh they the guy that ran it gave me a trophy for second place and when we got home my dad was like we're throwing this out you didn't earn this. And it's important. It's important to earn stuff. Yeah, it is important to earn stuff. It's also important to realize if you're freaking out at a lot of the things that we're saying right here, I don't really mean this 100%. Did you just look to Twitter?

You were like, oh, no. No, no, no. I'm sure it's happening. But I don't really mean it. When I'm saying like when i'm here there here's a problem people are extremely sensitive about certain subjects and when people joke around about those subjects people freak out you know and it doesn't mean that you're a bad person it doesn't mean that you really a bad person. It doesn't mean that you really hate anybody.

But people like to have fun and talk shit. And when people like to have fun and talk shit and people jump all over it as if this is some sort of a statement they're giving in court, like some sort of an affidavit, you're missing out on the subtle nuances of human interaction. People say things that they don't really mean because it's funny. Right. Because they're fucking around. like you're you're missing out on the subtle nuances of human interaction like people say things that they don't really mean because it's funny right because they're fucking around yeah i think what bill burr covers it in his new uh his new special on netflix yeah yeah does he was yeah it's just like people taking stuff where it's like obviously i'm joking yes i don't think i should beat my wife well i had a whole bit about it in my uh comedy central special about about uh tracy morgan about tracy morgan's i think i actually just confused you with bill burr yeah that's what i

was thinking too because i just watched bill's special i didn't remember that part but that the tracy morgan thing where tracy morgan got in trouble for saying that if his son was gay he would stab him obviously that's a horrible thing but he also said that he would eat a mile of shit to get to beyonce's booty like that's the part of in my act like come on he says ridiculous shit that's not actually true and he's saying it in a medium an entertainment medium where if you watch a movie okay and the transformers destroy these buildings and someone gets stomped guess what no one really got stomped. No buildings really got destroyed. Bob Marley didn't really shoot the sheriff.

That's the point of the bit. But this idea that everything is supposed to be homogenized and calmed down, come on, this is ridiculous. Yeah, I think we all want a society where we all have our worth based on what we do and we respect each other, but not so much where there's no fun. Exactly. There's no fun left. Exactly. And part of the fun is saying shit that you... Look, you say shit that is ridiculous, that is fun to say because you know that you don't mean it and you assume that your friends know you don't

mean it as well right and that's part of the subtle nuance of fucking around with your friends and the problem with trying to do that in public is that people will latch on to that they'll take it they'll take it as a quote they'll put it in quotes and they'll pretend that this is an actual statement and this is how you actually believe and feel. And then they'll just write a blog about it. They'll write a Tumblr blog and get super upset about it. And that's what you're talking about. Like if you say retard, someone's going to write this huge blog about how you hate people. That's not what's going on.

It's not what's going on. And in pretending, what you're doing is you're focused on something that's not really that important and you're pretending it is. something that's not really that important and you're pretending it is and there's a lot of real issues in the world that you could be focusing your attention on instead of someone saying retard or someone saying your mom's gonna have a giant black robot fuck doll that that throws dick all day throws dick all day and she's gonna kick your dad out of the house you fat fucking loser you get out of here arnold's gonna fuck me now yeah that's not real i don't we don't really mean that but we live in this time where anybody has a voice anybody can just uh write something on twitter write something on facebook or tumblr and i think that's good i think it's good but right now there's a sort of balancing out stage where people are still freaking out about these things. And they're just, it's like this sort of new understanding of this ability,

this new understanding of this ability to freak out about things. Yeah, but I think a lot of people don't realize the power. I mean, the main thing that you see, specifically with celebrities, is sometimes they'll say something just offhand, and then it will get warped. And then other people feeling like they're so small that they can just literally say anything anything like the most vile crap ever because it's the internet and they're like and it's fine yeah yeah that is a thing that

people do like jonah hill when he called some reporter he he called someone a faggot yeah it was like a guy that was like yeah he was like harassing him yeah yeah and then he he sort of apologized for it and you know it became like a big thing it became the word he used became more important than someone like following him around sticking a camera in his face violating his his personal freedom or violating his his his privacy you know became all about a word you know he that and that's unfortunate it's like he chose the wrong word you know if he said you know get out of here you fucking parasite then it would have been more about the behavior of the person following him with a camera than it would have been about him reacting to that person with a native way and the whole the whole that whole

story ended up being yes specifically about the word and then his apology for it yeah which it's always interesting to see um famous people go on like a tonight show or something like that to apologize tie on yeah and you're just and and it's just like we know that this is like it's a setup moment right and it's like you're giving this statement and it's just it's it's so weird yeah it's sad yeah but it is but you know people are scared you know they're scared of it's it's a pr thing but that's also a thing that i understand like i never had to to grow up worried that i was going to beat get beat up because of my sexual orientation that no one was ever going to like tie me to a fence and beat me to death so when when i think a lot of people take it to the

next level when they talk about things like uh where i was like offhand mentioned white privilege next level when they talk about things like uh where i was like offhand mentioned white privilege um because i didn't have to go through that i do get annoyed by the people on the extreme end of the argument that act like i can't have an opinion on anything because of uh the color of my skin and my and my and my and my sexual orientation or any of these things but it's i don't know i i get it it's it's the world is gray man i get it it's very gray it is it's like you know would you use the term like you know if if i said shut up bitch would you use that if you're around a woman who had just been called a bitch you know if someone had just yelled at you stupid bitch at a woman which is the worst way you could use that term would i still say to brian bitch get the fuck

out of here then you'd be more sensitive about it you'd be like well i can't we're gonna get away from this chick and then i'll call you a bitch you know and then or but i'll use the term bitch about myself you know i'll say you know i'll do something stupid and i'll be like bitch do you even know how to fucking turn your car you know what i mean it's like i'll use it at me as well as i'll use it at someone else but would i do that if somebody had just been called it in a very hateful way no right well that's where it gets weird that's where it gets gray you know like that's why the word faggot is just like it's just too complicated because even though the intent is what's important when you're dealing with words, like the intent is not homosexual slur, your friend is a homosexual, and you're making – no, it's like he's a wimp or he's – and then you go, well, okay, what does that mean then?

Does that mean that gay men are wimps? Well, no, that's not what you mean. Well, you probably need to come up with a better word. It's like – the problem with that word is that it's ineffective in conveying the actual thought because it's too easily misconstrued. It's too easily connected to gay slurs

or to things that have incredibly negative connotations or, you know, just, they're prejudice terms. So you have to kind of let them go and come up with something else.

Yeah, I leave it alone. If it's those two words, I say, I don't know, those groups can talk about it and Louis C.K. talk about it that's it i just stay away i go nope nope not gonna say it those two groups yeah that's the thing about gay people are allowed to use the f word they could say it they call each other fag all the time i don't know but if i was oh man if i was black i would just use that word to all my white friends. Just like, because some would get excited,

but others would just be like, okay, I'm going to leave this situation right now. Yeah, I know. It's funny, man. It's funny. Language is an incredible thing. I mean, there's so much subtlety. There's so many different ways you can say a sentence

that have different meanings. And people are really sensitive about that today more than ever because we can analyze things in a way and then communicate our analysis communicate our you know our interpretation of how you're speaking and communicate that you know and all you have to do is say something like if you say something fucked up and someone takes it completely out of context you put it on twitter or on facebook what have you like you you know that's sort of clickbaity in a lot of ways right but in also a lot of ways like you did say that word you know you did say it in that term but it's not in the greater context of the conversation that you're having you know and that's what's lost

in the flat medium of print the two-dimensional medium of taking something in quotes and putting it in print. And that's sort of the point that I was trying to make in my Comedy Central special, and that's something that's being lost today when people are just looking for things to be upset about. Right. I don't know.

I feel like I am constantly dodging stuff like that just because someone said, you can't say thug anymore. I was quoting someone and I said ratchet. Ratchet? I was like, oh, she ratchet. And that's when I say like the

Tumblr post of like 200,000. There was a Tumblr post I think it has like 100,000 that I used aggressive racialized language. And I was like, wait, what? What? No. What's wrong with ratchet? I don't know.

You can't say ratchet? It speaks down to like a, I don't know. Ratchet is like a tool. Yeah, but in reference to a person. That's like an earth. No, I don't know that. Yeah, like that girl, look at her shoes. They're so ratchet.

Or that girl is ratchet. Meaning like she is like, what would it be? Like, trashy? Yeah. Yeah. But I also can't keep up with stuff. Like, I think that's when I realize I'm getting old, where I'm just, like, I see new words, and I'm like, I'm not even going to care. Like, I saw, it's like, is it pronounced, like, it's like, I don't even, here, I don't even know if it's an inappropriate word.

But it's like, thought. It's like, T-H-O-T. And I think it's an inappropriate word, but it's like thought. It's like T-H-O-T, and I think it just means like ho. What? And I'm just like, why would you need a new word? Hold on. Why would you need a new word that's bigger? I am so out of the loop. God, I'm getting old.

So ratchet is what? Like trashy. Trashy. Like she's so ratchet. Hold up the fuck on. I love the neck. Can you do that again? She's so ratchet. I mean, I date a 25-year 25 year old latina that's the only reason i know this oh there you go okay

and so ratchet is bad you get in trouble for saying ratchet i didn't think i would i didn't i was quoting it and then uh yeah and then it's just but that's the thing is people just take the sentence put it in quotes and you just get as we were doing this conversation someone actually responded exactly the way i was mocking this is on twitter in quotes that bitch should shut the fuck up she's lucky you feed her and exact quote all caps from joe rogan alissa you fucking dummy we're talking about robots we're talking about robot fuck dolls fake scenarios and by the way dummy i also said that in the term of the woman mocking the man and kicking him out which you conveniently decided not to quote see this is what i'm saying if women

were to just get fucked they wouldn't be feminist feminist. In quotes, literally a thing Joe Rogan just said. Did I say that? You should go through and see how long that person has been quoting you during your podcast. Did I say if women were to just get fucked, they wouldn't be feminist? Did I say that? Look, this is hilarious. This Philly D interview should just

be called the Joe Rogan sexist hour. This gal must be a wonderful person to hang out with she's right she's not oversensitive at all oh here's another thing she wrote dear men of the universe in all caps in the grand scheme of things your dick is so insignificant you're right yeah that's true why do you have to tell everybody that though why would you want to diminish a man by saying that in the greater scheme of the thing? In the greater scheme of the things, your fucking ears are insignificant.

How about that? Your nose is insignificant, too. Who cares if you smell farts in the greater scheme of the universe? God, this is exactly what we were talking about. It's amazing when you talk about something, you mock it, and then someone misconstrues it so badly that they literally become what you're mocking it's but it's it's amazing to me I usually have to wait at least like for the video to post so I love that it's happening in a real time for you yeah that's well that's the beauty of being

on you stream it's hilarious people are looking to be upset I mean we are in a strange time now we're a hundred pakistani kids were murdered the other day we have what's going on in ferguson where there's constant rioting we have all this crazy shit that's every fucking day there's some new video of a cop beating the fuck out of somebody we have horrific injustice all over the world and people are getting upset about a conversation involving robot fucktalls. You know? And sexism. Sexism.

The real problem. No man would ever freak out that much about a woman talking about robot fuck men. And that is true. And if they would, they need to give up their man card because they're bitches.

I said bitch. I'm just going to, the rest of this entire podcast, I'm just going to be looking at your Twitter. Don't do it, dude. Don't do it. It's toxic. It's toxic. It's filled with toxic masculinity, that Twitter. Men's rights associations bother me way more than feminism.

I'll tell you that right now. men's rights associations bother me way more than feminism tell i'll tell you that right now i think that's more ridiculous because men's rights i think the only time it's valid at all is involving divorce and children that's it okay divorce and custody women's rights like women are way more way more diminished by society way more marginalized by culture than men are it's like when you have a men's rights association like really like how much more do you need to control like right men make way more money they they they're in the positions of power like as far as like government they're way more represented when it comes to like ceos when it comes to like head of industry they're way more represented.

Like men's rights, really? Like what, what, what rights are we missing? The only ones are like divorce laws. But I mean, that's it. I think that's an exact, like a perfect example of the extremes of both sides, right? Because it's, it's something that comes from a really valid discussion from, from like, I, it's not like when I say feminists, I think of people that, that talk about equality, but then there's this whole other level, right. That, that goes almost into, into hating and attacking, uh, a giant group rather than,

uh, the, the bad parts of men, uh, or the bad groups of men. And so then you just have like all these people in the middle going, ah, shit. Yeah. Ah, I don't want to talk. Yeah. That's what it is. It's like when you don't want to be a so i didn't even know what an mra was somebody called me an mra on twitter and i go what the fuck was

that a meal replacement or something like that i didn't know what an mra was so i had to google it and i'm like men's right but then i thought about it like wait a minute a men's rights advocate is a bad thing like someone who was a feminist was mocking me for being an mra and like oh that seems kind of fucked like you're you you are specifically identifying like on your twitter handle you look at their page feminist hashtag feminist you're you are identifying with support for the female gender but you're mocking someone by using this as a pejorative like using men's rights advocate as a negative statement right that's kind of hilarious it seems quite hypocritical the thing you have to be scared of though right there are so many just troll accounts that are

meant to like stir up the conversation and like that's when i'm like reporting on stuff and i'm taking stuff from uh from the internet and Twitter, it's so hard to tell. Because some of the people that are crazy, crazy, silly people say the same stuff as the trolls. Yes. And I'm like, I don't know. Are you being serious? Well, it's also funny because a lot of people that do it, they do it just to get everybody freaked out. And then people who are serious about it start taking them and using them as an example.

Like, oh yeah, he's right. No, no, we're not right. We're fucking around here. There's a lot of people online that are trolls. Meaning that they literally are just for sport trying to rile folks up. They're just for sport. They're trying to push buttons and get people riled.

And that's another new reality that we're faced with with the internet like youtube comments right like how many youtube comments are just literally designed to fuck with philip defranco's head oh man how many times did i've seen your comments i've had to go yeah i think i made something this week where i was just like i know that 80 of the people that watch this do not leave comments or anything just say what's up because everyone assumes the community is all awesome 20 suck like 20 are the worst people in the world and all it takes is 200 um some people that agree with something and some people that just want to fuck with me to get like that stupid ass comment on the front on the front page for top comment and i just see it it, and I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore,

because I fucking hate you. I hate you so much. And then people that, I don't know. But at the end of the day, you realize it doesn't fucking matter. No. At all. But it's amazing that a very small number,

like say if your videos, some of your videos have more than a million hits, right? Yeah, some. I think these days they average around half a mil. Okay, so think about that. That's 500,000 fucking hits. I don't know how many people that is because I'm sure some of them watch it more than once, but let's say it's 300,000 people.

All it takes is 10 unbelievable douchebags to get on that comment section and just start pounding on the keys. To get on that comment section and just start pounding on the keys. And then you have this fuck fest, this clusterfuck in your comments. Yeah, the best is when there are political statements on videos that shouldn't. Like, it's like, what was it? The one where they were dumping water on everyone. The ASL challenge, right?

Just like you would look and then it would be like some huge commentary about how Obama was a communist. and you're just like why do you i hope that was like a copy paste and you didn't see this video and you're like i'm inspired and just start fucking typing obama's a communist marxism and it's those those terms that people love to toss around you know it's uh we we live in amazing times in so many ways. But also the ability to reach people. Everyone's so accessible. It's magical in a way in that it's exposing all these weird aspects of human interaction and human behavior in a way that's never happened before. Because you're not actually talking to someone. You're not in front of them. Like if you said something and someone responded to it and said,

well, you know, I think that's offensive, and you'd be like, well, I'm not really serious. I'm kind of fucking around, but, you know, I see what you're saying. I see, like, you could see, like if somebody really meant it, yeah, that would be offensive, but, you know, the way to be funny is to actually goof around about it. And then you would have a conversation with them, and you'd probably come to some sort of an understanding. But that's what people do. You say something, I say something. But when someone wants to write something about you,

whether it's a Tumblr blog or something along those lines, they're not interacting with you. They're just spewing. They're all around you, yeah. Yeah. And they're spewing out these words words and they're having this reaction where that would be a completely different reaction if they actually talk to you. And in that way, it's an unbelievably ineffective way of communicating. It's very self-indulgent to go off on Tumblr rants or Twitter rants. It's very self-indulgent in that way. Oh, definitely. tumblr rants or twitter rants like it's very self-indulgent in that way oh definitely but i whenever i look at that or anything in life i i kind of wonder like does the good outweigh the

bad and i think 100 it does but uh there's way more good oh yeah most certainly yeah i mean the bad is kind of funny you know i mean the the there's there's certainly bad in terms of like harassment you know the harassment aspect is this that's the creepiest the scariest because like especially when it comes to like some of the evil fucking vile death threats and shit that some people and almost most of it seems to go towards women right and it's just these there's a lot of men out there that are just not they're they're not deemed attractive to women they're not they're they're not desirable by women and they've lived their life in this really resentful state this like this painful state like if you're a guy and you're going through life and you're constantly being rejected and

you're looking at like some high school jock quarterback type dude who gets all the girls and you just fucking fuming inside and you're angry and, and you, you know, you live your life like this and then you have this outlet of expressing yourself and then you see some woman and for whatever reason you've developed this. I know guys because of the fact that they've been rejected by women for so long, they associate women with pain because they associate women with rejecting them or with hating them and they get angry

and they lash out. You know, they want that woman to feel a part of what they felt their whole life. See, that's fucking terrifying.

There was that kid that shot up all those people at that college party. I think it was earlier in the year or it might have been late last year. And he had the YouTube videos where he was talking about he was going to make women pay. Yeah, that's the guy in Santa Barbara, right? Yeah, the number of people that were like, yeah, it's women's fault. That's what?

Well, that's the men's rights guys and the pickup artist guys there was a lot of these pickup artist guys that were saying like if these women weren't so uh stuck up and if they weren't so prudish like this guy would have gotten laid and this would have never happened like that's crazy that's crazy you're dealing with a mental health issue for sure a hundred percent like to blame this in some way on you know that this could have been cured with promiscuity, that's fucking bizarre. That level of victim blaming, that's what blows my mind. Yes. That blows my mind.

Yeah, that's fucking crazy. That's just insane. And that's also being around too many like-minded psychos. also that's also like being around too many like-minded psychos like there's those groups they get together and they they like sort of like reaffirm each other's ridiculous notions and then they feed off of each other right and then they start attacking you know and then they start making those little egg fake twitter accounts those toss away accounts and just talking mad shit to people yeah i mean i think in the future, you're not going to be able to do that. I think one of the things that's a problem with things like Twitter

is that you can be anonymous, you know? Do you think that being anonymous is completely bad? No. Cause I mean, I don't think it's gray. I mean, I think it is gray rather. I don't think it's black and white. Right. Sometimes I think you can express yourself in an anonymous way, And sometimes I think you can express yourself in an anonymous way, honestly, whereas if it was your own name. Like, if you wanted to tweet something about a movie and you're like, man, I don't want these people to be mad at me, but this was the most fucking pedestrian piece of shit film I've ever seen in my life. Holy fucking, how did this guy ever get a job? Who fucking wrote this? You're like, I don't want to do that. But that's how you really feel.

Yeah. But that's the thing, right? So being anonymous, you can go and you can go, hey, Joe Rogan, fuck yourself. Right. But you can also get the word out slash criticize maybe like a really bad professor. You can get something out about someone without the real life ramifications if you did something else. Yeah. And that's one of those things where I think that being anonymous on the internet,

overall, I think the good outweighs the bad at this point. Yeah. Yeah, I think the good outweighs the bad as well. I think essentially, like I said about YouTube comments, you could have 10 people in 500,000 that attack your comment section and ruin the whole fucking thing easily, especially if they continue to post and continue to do it and that's you know overall 500 000 people are watching it or whatever

and you know 10 get upset it balances out the information is not changing your video is not changing you know and if you get a certain amount of negative responses on Twitter or a certain amount of people that get angry at you, ultimately the unique ability to express yourself that we experience today, it's way more positive than it is negative. Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, over the course of doing the show, because there's so much valid conversation and we also ban the hell out of trolls we've had I feel like good conversations about capital punishment. My opinion has constantly changed on whether we should have that, that should be a thing.

And I mean we talked about it on the show today. That was the other one. There's a 14 year old kid 70 years ago he was convicted of murder in South Carolina and they killed him. Like he was a 14-year-old boy, had to put him on a phone book so they could electrocute him. And then you look at the numbers.

I think it was we killed the smallest number of people in 20 years. We sentenced the smallest number of people to death this year. And I don't know. It's a good conversation most of the time yeah as a father one of the things that you realize um one of the things that's happened to me is that i've become way more kind um and way more forgiving of people's circumstances and and and behavior because i first of all i really sam harris was on the podcast and he started talking to me about determinism and uh he was talking about the idea of free will and determinism

and that determinism the idea of your life experiences your genetics everything that you've gone through in your life is essentially what makes philip depranco in 2014 on december or whatever the fuck the day is you know i mean like that that that is who you are and you this idea of free will becomes very cloudy because essentially you are this huge accumulation of experiences and genetics and all these different things well when you become a parent at least i've the way i've experienced i look at people very differently now because i don't look oh they're that guy's a fuck up oh this guy's a loser i don't look at it that way i look at it like that was a baby okay that was a baby that was raised in some probably unbelievably abusive environment and they became this complete fucking idiot at 30 right you know and most likely a large majority of how they became

that person is not because of their own actions it's because of the way they were raised and because of the circumstances they found themselves in just completely by chance right and i i look at serial killers that way now i look at i look at you know negative people male and female in that way i just like a lot of what we're dealing with in our culture is people that they they've been raised in an insanely shitty way by people didn't know what the fuck they were doing they've had a bunch of horrible things happen to them they had bad circumstances and this is the result of that but at what point do you just is that is a cop-out and you don't hold people accountable for their actions? You know, that's the big question.

There was the young – I feel like he was 16 from a really, really rich family in Texas. And he and a bunch of guys that were underage, they took a dad's car and got really really drunk drove uh ended up killing a bunch of people and he ended up i think not doing any time in jail because they argued that because he was from a rich family uh that that he didn't understand consequences for actions like that's that's crazy yeah that's i think you you have to if what's the point of rules if we go, he's had too easy of a life or he's had too hard of a life. I think that you can make changes like don't put people that smoke weed in prison. But what about these violent criminals? There's also a problem in that when human beings get to a certain point, is there a way you can fix them?

Like a guy like Ted Bundy. You can't fix that guy. When they reach a certain point, you have to remove them from society. You've got to kill them. He's deriving pleasure out of killing women. What, are we going to fix him and then trust that we can release him out in the public

and he's not going to go kill a bunch more women? No, you can't. You can't. There's a certain point of no return where human beings reach, and that point of no return always involves victimizing other people. As soon as they hurt people or kill, like, okay, without death or violence, Bernie Madoff. Okay.

How much money can you steal? How many lives can you ruin? How many lives can you ruin? How many financial futures can you destroy? And we still let you go back into society and be a free person. I mean, there is also the question of, in America, I think the thought of rehabilitation is not there. At least with our prison systems. I don't know if it's because it's a moneymaker or it's just we just want what we consider monsters away from us. We don't really rehabilitate.

No. We don't do anything with the mind. Right. I mean, it's not like we take these people and we give them MDMA. We put them on ayahuasca retreats. We try to connect them to their spiritual mother spirit. You know, we wouldn't know. We put them in a jail cell and surround them with fucking psychos and then leave them there for 10 years and hope they

get better because they feel bad that they had to live in this shitty circumstances for 10 years that doesn't fix anybody right i mean then you jump right so the whole point of like when i cover things is jumping to the other side the other side would then argue uh what are you going to fucking coddle murderers are you going to coddle pedophiles are you going to are you going to punish people because i think as americans for the most part we think of prison as punishment right this is you fucked up we're gonna fuck you up yeah um rather than you messed up we want you to be a member of society that is productive so here are classes and here's how you can learn and here's therapy um and once again i'm i'm in the

i'm in the the gray area because yeah there's like the fucking kid that that bombed the boston bombing like kill that kid i that's my mindset right and and it's these it's these mass outliers right these outlier situations that end up changing my mind on when the norway shooter happened you know it's it's like you go how did that they don't kill that guy right you know and so that's it's, it's me constantly dealing with it myself and talking to the people that aren't assholes online and trying to formulate it and like evolve my opinion on it. Yeah. And I think also with really complex situations, there is no black and white. There's no right and wrong.

And yeah, we kind of have to punish people when they do horrible things. But again, as a parent, as a person who's watching human beings develop, I'm realizing that a lot of the problem that we have in our culture is that some kids don't get a chance. They just don't. They're in bad situations from the jump and they are the product of their environment. And some of them make it through horrible, horrible neighborhoods, bad situations. They become stronger and better and have more character because of it. But we shouldn't expect that. We shouldn't force them to, you know, to be as good as the best people in their neighborhood.

Like everybody's circumstance is very different. And I always say, this is the way I've been thinking lately. If you lived someone's life, you would be that person. You know, you would be, you know, fill in the blanks, Ray Rice. Right. You know, if you lived that guy's life and found yourself in that elevator with your girlfriend and punched her in the face, you're him. You're that guy. So that is possible to become that person.

Should we punish him? Abso-fucking-lutely. Right. But should we also recognize that you become a God that's willing to hit a person or hit a woman, you become that through a lot of different variables, through the way you were raised, the type of people that you communicated with,

the type of relationship you're in. The wife hit him. They're hitting each other. They do that. It's obvious they're in some sort of an abusive physical relationship. I'm pretty sure you're not that kind of a guy. I'm definitely not that kind of a guy. But is it because you didn't grow up that way?

If you grew up around a mom and dad that beat the shit out of you and your dad beat the shit out of your mom and you beat the shit out of your girlfriends and they beat the shit out of you. Right. You're throwing shoes at each other and ducking plates. Then you'd be that fucking person. See, I think maybe. Maybe. Right? Because like my mom was a nightmare growing up.

Like she's done that thing where as they get older, like became a nurse and she's taking care of people now. But she beat the fuck out of me sometimes. Just for no reason. For no reason. It was a bad day. Really? Yeah. And it's not like it happened all the time.

It's not the worst situation that's ever happened. When I was growing up, my dad would use me to help steal stuff from Walmart so that we could bring it back and we could get like money like so I didn't come from this place where it was just like everything's easy and everyone's on up and up but I also don't do that now that I'm an adult because I think I saw those things and then I looked outside and I was like oh that's fucked up yeah you don't do that like I'm never going to hit my wife. I don't want to hit my kid, you know? I like how you said, never hit my wife, but I don't want to hit my kid. But that little motherfucker gets crazy. My dad slapped me one time.

I think I was like six years old, and I said, fuck you. And he slapped me once. I never said it again. I like how you said it in that six-year-old tone. Fuck you. Fuck you, dad. Oh, man. I'm waiting.

I'm waiting for him to say, fuck you, and I hate you. Oh, those are mean. Those are mean words. But, you know, it's your responsibility to go, no, you don't. Relax. Yeah, my dad would just, he would annoy me. He would just say, I ate you. He's like, you ate me?

And as six-year-old me, just furious. Oh, he mocked you. The angriest thing in the world. Yeah, my six-year-old gets mad if she pouts and starts whining about things. If I go, oh, someone's whining. I'm serious. She'll freak out. I mean, it could be about nothing.

But she's a little human being. That's the thing about human beings. I mean, they are this just bundle of potential, and there's all these events and variables that happen in your life that create who you are and i think that most human beings that raise children really don't know what they're getting into when they started off and hopefully along the way they develop a better person than they were you know that they do a better job of parenting based on the experiences that they've had with their parents and the mistakes that they're aware that their parents made, and hopefully we learn.

But we're still just learning the effects of behavior and what it's like when you raise kids. We're still learning that. We're still going over that. And a lot of people are terrible at it. I watched some fucking lady yell at her kid and pull him by the arm and screaming at him that she was going to beat the tar out of him. And I'm like, oh, fuck, man. I'm watching some kid be raised by a moron, you know, and he's going to have to unlearn all the shit this moron is teaching him. And that's, you know, in some extreme situations like extreme abuse and extreme neglect and extreme,

you know, sexual abuse and violence, violence you know you're going to develop a horrible person that's dealt with these variables their whole life and this is who they are you know this is this is the they are the product of all the things that have happened to them and how they've processed those things but at the end of the day do you want that that end product next to your kid no you know see but that's the thing is like i wonder how that's fixable i really i don't i don't know if there's a way to reset the mind in some sort of a a functional way and it may be some sort of a psychedelic thing or it may be something that has to do with uh neuroscience in the future where they they find out the issues of the human brain and they can literally reprogram the mind in some sort of a way and get them in some unforeseen future technology,

some way to understand why they've become this person, why they are abusive, why they are self-destructive. Maybe someone who's a drug addict who hates themselves, you find out, oh, you really hate yourself because your mother hated you. This is what it is. It's like you have this horrible reaction to being raised by this awful person, and we found the core of it, like you have an electrical problem. Oh, well, here it is.

We found that this wire has a slice in it, and the water's getting in, and it's getting uh you know the water's getting in and it's shorting out we'll just fix that wire and now i mean if people if we can get to that point that some we can you know fix a lot of the problems in society right but then who's to who's to say what's right and wrong at that point who's to say that you're broken you're not like where is that how you do you take out the human essentially you're taking out the human right right because it's i mean at the end we kind of are wires but kind of not wires Like where is that? Do you take out the human? Essentially you're taking out the human. Right. Right. Because it's, I mean, at the end,

we kind of are wires, but kind of not wires. Well, then it comes back to the alien, right? Always. That's, I mean,

the, the alien sexless, muscle-less, speechless creature. You don't know if that dude, if that alien beats his wife, you don't know. He could still.

I don't think they beat anything. They're so skinny. I don't think they can get away with it. Wife kick his ass. I had this guy on, Zoltan Istvan, who's a futurist, and he's one of those transhumanism proponents. Okay. And fascinating guy. But one of the things that he said is that these people that have recently, I don't know if you're aware of this technology,

that they've recently been able to transmit words across the internet to someone wearing a helmet like with no with no word spoken you you think a word and having this helmet on this this series of electrodes that attach to your head that somehow understand the what part of your brain is firing up when you think of a word like hello right forward hello hello registers in some sort of an area of your brain this person wears this helmet and they hear hello in their mind that's wild yeah yes and they hear it through the internet well he said that they believe this technology over the next couple decades is going to advance so fast and so strong that we are going to lose

communication like oral communication we're going to speak directly mind to mind from now on well i wonder like because obviously it sounds like they have someone go okay think of apple 20 different times apple apple apple and then think of banana is it that big of a difference right is it where you're going to be able to get all the small intricacies or is it going to be like this is anger like ah i wonder if you have to like look at an apple and i mean i wonder how many things are involved if like you have to see a visual apple and think the word apple so that your mind knows this is like if you're visually sending that information as well as sending the word to the mind. Well, I saw, it was a video this morning of a guy that, it was like 40 years ago, he lost both of his arms and he went to John Hopkins and they were testing this new

stuff on him and they put it on and they just said like, think about moving your hands. And so he thought about rotating his hands out and they did like a full 360. He could move them a little. obviously the technology is really early on but the fact that he can think turn left and a bunch of zeros and ones or whatever get thrown to this machine via his nerves uh and it happens that's amazing like where are we going to be in 20 years yeah i posted the video today of the guy with the two prosthetic arms yeah yeah we lost them in electrical it was an electrical accident they called it like a freak electrical accident we're gonna in 20 years from now we're gonna have completely new limbs just like luke skywalker did when darth vader cut off his hand remember

that shit yeah well i mean that's it those are those are the things that are most exciting about 3d printing like medical reasons yeah that's huge not me making a keychain well they've already figured out how to 3d print meniscus they've figured out a 3d print knee meniscus with this, uh, a special type. It's essentially like a scaffolding with a special type of protein in it. And when they insert it into the body, the body replaces meniscus on the scaffolding.

And so like where they are now, like I've had meniscus scoped on one of my knees. So I tore some of it. It's really fucking painful. I had a bucket handle tear, which means it would lock. It would lock out. And so they go in there, and they scoop it out, and they cut it, and you heal up. And it works great now.

But it's not as effective because you lose some of the cushioning between your joints. Well, what they're going to be able to do now is create, with 3D printing, this artificial scaffolding for the meniscus with these proteins in it. And you're going to have 100% new meniscus. It's just going to grow back in place, which is a life-changing thing. What is this? Oh, yeah. We posted this, too. Dog can walk again thanks to 3D printing.

How is he walking? He's got wheels or something? It's the cuter version of what the story was talking about. What has he got? What is that? They printed out these kind of like legs almost. I can't play the video. He's the dog Blade Runner.

Wow. That's cool. Yeah. I mean, they're going to be able to do anything. They're going to be able to make human beings. We were talking about the artificial fuck robot people. They're going to make that. It's going to happen.

If people live to be a thousand years from now, that's going to be reality. I'm going to be so sad that they're going to make sex robots before they do organs like you know that's gonna happen oh i don't think so i think organs will be first i think it organs will be first before they can figure out a way to make a whole person yeah i mean that's it's gonna be amazing the but it's always it's that weird thing because i have this uh i have this thing called uh pkd uh it's like polycystic kidney disease it's a genetic thing but sometimes i look at it and i'm like this is this i shouldn't be here like i shouldn't pass this on anymore but we as a society and as technology advances i get to live and what do you what is it involved like what uh cis grow over time uh like when it'll

really hit me i think around when i'm like 35 40 that's when i hit my dad um cis form on your kidney and it just essentially slowly squeezes it to death. Whoa. And so late term, you need to get, like you have to go on dialysis because your kidneys are failing. And then you kind of just have to get

on the donor list. Wow. Yeah. It's rough stuff, but I mean, it hasn't affected me yet. But it's like that thought that I sometimes have

when I'm laying down at night and just thinking of like infinity, that my specific cells, my genes shouldn't be passed on, right? If you think of like us advancing, but then technology kind of brings me back along. It's like, nah, in like 100 years, we'll be able to make those kidneys again. You're fine. Well, people who used to have diabetes were dead. Right.

You know, there was a death sentence. And now it's not. Now you get on insulin. They figure out a way to change your diet. And that's a huge issue as well. Does that have anything to do with your diet, with kidneys? Is there a way to prolong it? You can kind of, like, I have to make sure that I always drink a ton of water.

Drinking should be problematic, right? Is drinking alcohol problematic? I think that's more of like liver. Yeah. For the most part, it's just, I mean mean i'm starting to think more about my health i mean you guys were talking about like going up and down in weight uh i dropped uh 35 pounds this year mainly because i just i don't want to die like i want to i want to be able to because also when when pkd hits me harder it's gonna be harder to exercise. I have to train myself, essentially, to just not eat like an asshole like I normally do. Right. Wow.

That's intense, man. Kidneys are a big one in mixed martial arts because guys cut weight a lot. So a lot of them wind up getting kidney stones. That's the worst thing in the world. Apparently, it's a genetic thing. Some people just don't ever get it. But some people, when they cut weight, kidney stones become a huge issue and it has something to do with dehydration. Dehydration slash genetics.

Yeah. I've had, I've had one cause I think there's like a, it's like a 40% higher chance that if you have it, you will, you'll get more kidney stones. Wow. Have you?

No. You have to pee it out. Is that what happens? Yeah. So mine, mine was, uh, it wasn't so big that they had to like try and blast it. Uh, but they essentially, I think they gave me Percocet and I was essentially in and out for three days at home. And at some point I peed it out.

Whoa. I was just like, I'm going to drug this one out. I'm not doing this. Cause I was like, oh, okay. No, maybe it's just, I have back pain like first day. And then second day, oh, it went away. Third day. Oh, it just moved. Like that's what it was. The it's just i have back pain like first day and then second day oh it went away third day oh it just moved like that's what it was the pain's just a different place uh and yeah that was that's the least fun thing i've experienced in my life peeing out a little rock and then imagine giving birth imagine what women go through their actual vagina did you watch yes dose dose twice okay yeah crazy i thought i'd never want to and then i was just like no i have to got to you have to be there yeah it's um it's beautiful in a way it's strange

it's you know what it's very oddly psychedelic because um when that child was coming out of my wife's body i was thinking to myself like wow this is what's happening right now all over the world and mass there are millions of babies coming out of vaginas like simultaneously just and i imagine seeing it on some massive screen like seeing a million windows like if you had a massive computer screen with a million windows open. Just babies being born, people dying. Just seeing it happen. Pussies getting destroyed.

I didn't think of it that way. I thought of it the positive way, son. The idea of this giant superorganism that's constantly expanding and contracting and expanding and contracting. And most of the time now expanding more than contracting, when you find out that the population number of the world, just like I believe in the 1950s, it was only 2 billion in the world, something like that, and now it's 7.

Right. That's fucking nuts. That's crazy, yeah. That's weird. Like less than 100 years, and it's 5 billion plus more. Let me find out if that's true. Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying, right? So as stuff advances and people like me and people that were supposed to, well, not supposed to, genetically would have died, right?

Technology is going to have to advance for food and space faster because otherwise we're just going to die. We're just not going to have it. Yeah. Just eat corn. Did you say just eat corn? Yeah. We're just not going to have it. Yeah, what the fuck? Did you say just eat corn? Yeah, what is that? Be a good cow. Maybe there's a car, Stella, that...

Eat corn. If it's just corn left at the end. But I'm not supposed to. Yeah, 1950, there was only 2 billion people in the world. That was what it was. That's crazy. Blowing up. Yeah, it was 2,5 hundred and sixty six thousand or five hundred

fifty six thousand that's nuts and is it that i'm trying to think how much of that has the internet yeah it's mostly porn well now it's seven billion i mean but this is this was the world in 1950 it was so much smaller there was so i mean how many people were in America in 1950? What would you say? U.S. population in 1950. Well, what is it now? It's, uh, you say 350? Now it's three something. Yeah. I don't know.

I'd say, what, maybe let's go a third. 150 million. 150. Yeah, it was half. That's incredible. Yeah, I'm trying to think. Yeah, I wonder what, like, the United States, uh, like, you have the baby boom compared to other places. 1940, it was only 131.

As soon as they started figuring out medicine, that's when it all went downhill. Everyone, no child left behind. But I mean, that's also how you invent shit. You have to have surplus and you have to have leisure. You have to have people that have the ability to sit in front of computers and desks and figure things out and that's where you without agriculture without cities and without civilization you know you don't have any inventions right all of it comes out of our ability to relax you know we have the food we have a place where we can sleep okay let's relax yeah and let's work on other stuff instead of hunting and gathering all the, let's try to figure out how to make a wheel. Oh.

Right. I think we can figure out a way to have a controlled explosion that powers an engine. And that engine can get us on a road. And we can get places that we can't get to by walking. Right. Well, so I would be interested. So technology in general, it's good. We're all going up.

At some point, I mean, i think it's very close with um with self-driving cars and and just even computers in general like there are gonna be a lot of people that they don't they're not gonna have a job anymore they're like their their place right if i think of my skill set i could be replaced for the most part by a computer like uh you have all the people in the fast food industry i think like, like, you know, they've been going out saying they want, you know, $15 an hour in New York. At the end of the day, if you own that business, technology isn't a place where all those front, the people in the front, you don't need. Right. You just have, like, a kiosk.

I know, but isn't that the case, like, always? Like, do we need blacksmiths to have jobs? Right. Like, should we, well, without the horses, what do I do? Maybe you need to come up with a new thing to do, man. But if people are going to run out of shit to do and then just go to Twitter and, like, give you shit. But that's not. With their entire day.

I'm sure all those people that are running out of shit to do probably, if they found a thing they enjoyed, would have some other thing that they can do. Right. I just think it's kind of crazy to think of progress as taking away jobs. Yeah, but that's like the argument so many times. If you look at the trucking industry, if you look at, I mean, right now the big one is Uber, right? Right. I mean, that's not even automated cars. That's just convenience.

And everyone's like, no, we can't. We have something that's already established. The taxi community is upset. And those guys, I bet those guys are the guys that are sharing any terrible Uber story. Uber's everywhere. Uber's worth $41 billion. Isn't that incredible how quick that happened?

And there were two instances of something happening and everyone's like, Uber's shit. One of them in india right didn't someone get raped yeah there was uh there was like there was a rape accusation there there was also and so i think it's good that those stories come out because it background check super important yes obviously uh fucking huge yeah someone's driving you around in a metal box yeah and then there was uh i think there was also another one where a guy that had been convicted or charged with a violent crime killed someone wasn't there one where a guy that had been convicted or charged with a violent crime killed someone.

Wasn't there one where a guy took someone somewhere and wouldn't let them go? Took them to some abandoned warehouse or some shit? That was in America, right? I'm trying to think. I don't know. Took them to a parking lot or something? Maybe. You might be thinking of fake taxi.

Oh, there's a fake taxi thing? Don't Google it. It's okay. Oh, okay. No. oh there's a fake taxi don't google it it's okay no no um but i also at the same time anytime i hear those stories i think of every drunk friend i have that's yelled or done something wrong to an uber driver yeah i'm like maybe yeah there's a bunch of shitheads not not not the india situation but obviously like the the there was a words that turned into fists really with uber drivers well yeah with the

story i'm just taught like uh there have been those small instances but it's not widespread i think for me i don't care if the guy that owns uber is a huge asshole all i know is it's convenient right and it's forcing uh the taxi companies to change where they come out with like their versions which i still don't use but i think i think it just makes sense like let's keep doing more and more and more yeah i well they're very friendly like especially uber in new york city i found them to be much more friendly than cabs cabs are just like you know that you know that you need them they know you need them and sometimes they're shitheads a lot of times they're friendly but the uber drivers were like across the board friendly yeah almost because it's this new Yeah. And they also want you to give them stars.

You know, they all want you to rate them. Right. And if they're rated highly, then people get excited about that person picking them up. And then I also tip them as well as, you know, the money that they get from the little, you know, the application where your credit card's in there. Yeah. They get a percentage of that, right? It's like something.

Yeah. I forget what the split is. I know that I knew a guy that watched my show that was an UberX driver, and I think they get a similar rate or something slightly different. But I think those weird me out a little more. UberX is weird. Well, that's a car. That's like someone's just car.

Like someone rolls up in a cube and they'll get in. And I'm like, all right. Yeah. We had a guy pick somebody up here in a Prius, and it's like, okay. car. Like someone rolls up in a cube and they'll get in. And I'm like, all right. Yeah, we had a guy pick somebody up here in a Prius. And it's like, okay. Yeah. Or a Volt. It was like a Volt.

It was a fake Prius. Lyft is way better, though. Is it? Unfortunately, my girlfriend uses Lyft. And I don't think that they have the same quality control as Uber. This guy came in with one of those, what, F10 pickup trucks with the big pickup back and a cab. You know, like what construction workers go? She gets, we both get in.

I'm like, why did you call an Uber? Or why didn't you call Uber? I get in and there's a shovel in the back of his truck. The guy seemed like flustered that I was there because I think he just saw my girlfriend's profile pic. I was like, I'm going to pick her up. So then he fakes a phone call call Jamie was watching me the whole time he fakes a phone call and starts yelling at somebody and we're just like what are we doing in this he's not driving he's just

sitting there I'm like sir like so we get out he's Jamie's outside taking photos because he thinks that it looks something's not right and I'm like thinking if my girlfriend wasn't if I wasn't with my girlfriend she would have got in this weird car with a shovel in the back. And he, you know, what the fuck? Maybe he's a gardener. I don't know. Maybe he's just like really into plants. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, so, I mean, with women, one of the last Uber drivers I had, my friends, once again, were super, super drunk and they were asking him all these questions. And I don't know if he was messing around, but he was like, no, a good number of Uber drivers, if they're attractive men, are constantly invited inside. Like at the end. Really? And I was like, that seems like a perk. Yeah. A good number of them?

Yeah. Drunk chicks coming home from bars, man. They're just like, oh, my God, you want to come in and smoke some weed? Yeah, probably. Sam Tripoli, I think, is doing it now. Is he? I think so. Well, a lot of people do it to make money.

You could do it on your own time. You could have your own shifts. In a way, it's kind of cool if they have real background checks. I mean, if they really make sure you have no mental health issues, you're not a fucking sex predator, fill in the blank. And it's such a genius idea just because it's like you don't really have to have that much infrastructure. Yeah. You know, just to get things rolling, especially with the introduction a long time ago of UberX.

Yeah. Yeah. UberX. Yeah. That's where it gets weird, right? They have Spotify now where like on your phone. Right. You can sit there and control the music that's in the car.

So like you could put on whatever music you want. That's crazy. Pretty soon it's going to be rolling up windows and turning on air conditioning. Well, how do you feel about these Google cars, these self-driving cars? I think it's awesome. That's fascinating. Yeah. I mean, I think there was something recently where they're not the best in the rain right now, but it's still early tech.

Oh, like the braking? I think it's something with the way, the way that it perceives like the outside world. Ah, right, like slippery traction, things along those lines. Because they always end up having these articles and stories where they talk about things like I don't think about, like people on bicycles, you know, things that don't look like cars. And I don't know, I mean, it's baby steps. It's not going to be there tomorrow, but I think it's awesome. I think you're talking about, once again again more people surviving because fewer car accidents if you can um have some sort of system that can be thrown into an old car you know people i'm not saying

make it mandatory because i like i love driving my car like it gets me excited uh but a car you drive uh a challenger oh yeah you've seen the Hellcat? Yes. I drove one. Really? Yes. It looks awesome. Yeah, it looks awesome. 700 horsepower. Wow.

That's not necessary. How much is it, though? It's not that expensive. It's like $65,000. That's crazy that that power is. Dealing with a 700 horsepower car with a warranty, it's amazing. And it's really comfortable to drive. We drove one around for a few days in Denver.

It's really nice. Yeah. Before drove one around for a few days in Denver. It's really nice. Yeah. Before that, I had a RX-8. It was a Mazda RX-8. And it's just this little tiny car. And then I got into that. And it's, ah. Well, Mercedes has this new S-Class, the S550, their big luxury sedan, that drives itself up to 30 miles an hour.

Wow. Like, stays in lanes, makes turns. It reads speed limit signs and will follow the speed limits. Dude, it's fucking crazy. That's awesome. And it's good to about 30 miles an hour where you set this, the sensors. I don't know all the tech, but it brakes when cars are in front of you, slows down when traffic slows down speeds up so

like around town you essentially could be like just you know hands in your pants and this thing's driving 30 miles an hour it's fucking crazy where are you rolling 30 miles an hour with your hands down your pants everywhere everywhere everywhere if i could well especially because it has a screen it has these giant lcd screens these two 12-inch LCD screens. The speedometer is a 12-inch LCD screen. All your gauges, your gauge cluster is all an LCD screen. And your fucking nav screen. Ian Edwards and I rented one when we were in D.C.

Dude, they're so slick. And all your navigation system is huge. It's 12 inches, enormous. And you can watch movies on it. The way it's set up, only the passenger can see the movie when the car is moving. But when you're parked, you can see it. Well, because I was going to say, that's the thing that annoys me the most is when my GPS that's built in treats me like a child and I can't enter anything in. Right.

Yeah. But BMW allows you to do it on the fly as you're driving i like that you spin the wheel and you enter into it um mercedes is like a little more goofy the interface like the the wheel the bmw wheel is very easy to use yeah that's it that's the s5 yeah that's a sexy car it's a dope car and it's you're floating when you drive in that thing, man. I mean, it just floats over potholes. It's super comfortable inside. But that technology is, I mean, this is like baby steps. It's allowing you to essentially keep your hands off the wheel up to about 30 miles an hour.

They don't recommend you take your hands off the wheel, but essentially it really does drive itself. And there's some videos of guys trying it and working on and it really does work that's so interesting yeah but you have to have like clearly defined lines on the road because it goes by cameras and the cameras interpret what what it's seeing and it figures out how to steer and drive it's like well if there's if that's already a thing right as processors get faster and cameras can go higher frames per second like I wonder when that can go like 70. It's going to happen.

It's a matter of time. Well, how fast can the Google car go? I think it's 30. So I think it's around the same right now. Oh, really? I didn't know it was that weak. I thought they were getting on the highway with those things. Because if you saw the newest one, it doesn't even have a steering wheel.

It's just you sit down. Fuck that. That's crazy. It's like, good luck. Yeah, because it seems like you should have a steering wheel. It seems like it should be, at least now, it should be just some sort of an extra thing. I mean, what the fuck? What if it breaks? And you're driving, and there's no steering wheel.

It's going straight towards a school. It reads a speed limit sign as like 200 or something like that. What the fuck? Let's do this. Oh, I didn't even think of that. Fake speed signs. Fake speed signs. Yes, that's right.

The newest hack. Right. No! Well, you can hack things. I was talking about the screen in the car. What I meant was you could drive 30 miles an hour and just beat off to porn as you're driving. Because I used to have an Infinity, and I had this guy rig a switch.

It had a DVD player, and I had this guy rig a switch so that it thinks that the parking brake is on, so it thinks you're in park. So you just press the switch, and you can watch movies while you're driving. You remember that car? Yeah. Yeah, I was watching Bruce Lee movies when I was on my way to the comedy store. I didn't really watch them.

I paid attention to the road because I'm a responsible adult. But I liked the fact that it was there. Right. And a cop actually pulled me over, and he said, yeah, you can't have that plane while you drive. I go, dude, I don't even know what's going on with this. It's not supposed to do this. Oh, yeah.

It's supposed to just be in the back seat. Shit's not working, son. The thing won't stop playing Bruce Lee movies, man. Yeah. Most cops don't know shit about tech, so you can get away with lying to them about that. I'm terrible at that. Like, as soon as I see a cop pull me over, I'm just like, I even gonna try and talk my way out of this i'm terrified yeah one thing i don't ever do is i don't ever allow weed to get into my car really inside my car yeah because you it smells

weed it's the weird thing about weed is when you're smoking weed you don't smell it you're smoking it but people around you're like god damn that's some fucking stinky weed you're like i don't smell shit it's strange like friends will come over and they'll stink of weed and they don't even know they stink of weed joey diaz yeah joey diaz on a plane stinks of weed jesus yeah see that's something uh like talking to people and then hearing their stories where they bring stuff, I'm like, you're crazy. You're a crazy person. I don't care how easy it is. It's easy to get.

Or you're crazy to travel with it. You have to be nuts. That's what I'm saying is when you're there. When I talk to people that are all about it, they give me these 80-step plans and I'm like, or you go a day without it. That could be cool too. It's not that big of a deal fuck the man dude i'm tired of the man trying to take away my weed like if you want to if you want to talk about the tsa being like like bad okay that's great yes you know but fucking don't don't go over state lines with something illegal it's so stupid because in some places it's really

illegal like texas if you get busted in texas that is really fucking illegal that's something with something illegal. It's so stupid because in some places it's really illegal. Like Texas. If you get busted in Texas, that is really fucking illegal. That's something up a little there. They have a little. Well, you see Congress passed this new approach to medical marijuana. They're not attacking medical marijuana at all anymore. They've quietly done this over the last few days. They're no longer going to prosecute states

or anybody that's involved in medical marijuana. They're going to allow states to do what they're doing, which is great. Weed ruins old episodes of Cops. That's something. Right. Because you see some people with crack, but then you just see a guy that has the smallest amount

of just probably terrible weed, and he's like, you're going to go to jail for a long time. There's zip tie in his wrist, throwing him into cage yeah it's fucked man yeah it is uh it is strange but obama's uh passing these things until jeb bush gets an office then it all gets you think that you think that's who's gonna be i'm worried man i think well if jeb bush doesn't get no office hillary clinton will be president it'd be one of those two it'll be jeb bush or hillary i'll take hillary over Jeb Bush.

Yeah? Yeah, I think it's time for a woman president to give a chick a chance to fuck everything up. Yeah. You know? So we really, I think once Hillary gets in

and she does the exact same shit Obama did, everybody's going to go, hey, I don't think the president really gets to say anything. Do you think that's what it is? It's going to go like through every possible thing

and then it's going to just go back? Well, remember when Obama They're all bad. Bitches allowed to be used again as a word. Well, Obamaama was before he got into office like the most progressive guy ever the most anti like his his stance on whistleblowers supporting whistleblowers he backtracked on all that shit he's going to close down guantanamo Bay. Never happened. I mean, it took forever to get out of Iraq. And then still, by saying we're out of Iraq, it's kind of bullshit because there's thousands of fucking troops still in Iraq.

You know, Afghanistan is still going on. Most of what they say never comes true once they get into office. And I think it's because they can't really do the things they want to do. There's too much going on. There's too many influences. There's too to do. There's too much going on. There's too many influences. There's too much money. There's too much power. I think the president has way less power than we think they do.

Well, it's always rough whether there's a Republican or a Democrat in the White House. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Whether there's a Republican or Democrat in the White House, people forget about Congress. It can be a huge obstacle or the reason that a president can do so much fuck yeah yeah it's huge and it's also the republican versus democrat fucking mudslinging that like nobody wants to give an inch they're all just so there's this partisan ideology whereas like they just stick with the right wing and stick with the left wing and they're all duking it out for control it's just so frustrating and it's like such a road

block to any real progress yeah it's i don't know it it's uh i covered the the rnc um just because i got the opportunity and and that was a weird thing like the rnc and the dnc going to those events and just seeing how excited everyone is but how sensitive and like you say one thing and they'll jump down your throat on either side they're on teams man it's the raiders versus the dolphins i mean that's really what it is and then meanwhile you have people that are like i'm libertarian and they're like that's great that's great whatever get out of here you kook yeah and like because that was something that i looked at for a while and when i would talk to um just anyone that was in office, they were like, you could go

libertarian or you could just be a modified version of one of the two parties. And that's a weird thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, man. I think until we realize that we're being had across the board and that this is all just a big charade that's being put on by corporations. We're never going to figure it out.

We're never going to get past private prisons. I mean, the Supreme Court giving corporations the ability to donate unlimited amounts of money towards candidates, and those candidates obviously support these corporations' ideas once they get into office and allow them to make money. once they get into office and allow them to make money. And a lot of times that money, making that money, is detrimental to the greater good of mankind or the population or just people in general. We're in a weird place. And I think one of the things that we're seeing now, though,

is transparency on a level that we've never had before. And ultimately, I think that transparency and this distribution of information that we've been talking about, this ability to access information, it's going to make it really hard to hide all the evil shit you're doing. Right. I mean, there's been stuff coming out. And seeing that, whether someone says patriot or whistleblower or not terrorist, but what's the word I'm thinking of? Insurgent?

No, I'm just someone that turns on their own country. Traitor? Yeah, I'm having a brain fart. But just like the people that go, yeah, what we did was wrong, but they had no right to put out that information. And just seeing those arguments and you're just like, I don't know. Right, like the Chelsea Manning argument or the WikiLeaks, Julian Assange argument. Yeah, I mean, those people are in jail. Those people did things that everybody thinks were right. I mean, everyone who's rational.

You look at what Chelsea Manning, the life that she's had since she's been in jail, you know, locked up naked, left in a cell cold with, you know, no clothes, solitary confinement for years, literally. I mean, that's psychological torture. I mean, they're trying to break people. Yeah. And this is someone that just exposed illegal activity and released information to this Julian Assange character

who now is trapped in a fucking house in London, can't leave. He's in an embassy or he goes to jail. But meanwhile, if you had a vote, a worldwide vote, as to whether or not they did good things, whether it's Edward Snowden, same sort of situation. If you have a worldwide vote, what they did, was that beneficial or was it negative for humanity? I would guarantee you the vast majority would say it's beneficial. Right. I mean, the argument is that you could potentially put U.S. assets at risk if you just throw out all this information. But it is very much, you know, we did something wrong and you're putting us at risk because you're bringing it to light. Rather than going, okay, let's bring this to light and let's not fucking do it again.

That'd be great. Well, it's certainly in some ways a gray area because intelligence operates under this sort of a really strange blanket. And the idea behind it is they're trying to protect society from the evil people of the world. And sometimes you got to break a few eggs to make an omelet. But, you know, I mean, Obama's whole stance going into office is completely contrary to what's going on right now.

I mean, that whole hope and change website that he had they removed the whole piece on whistleblowers oh wow because it was a bit yeah it was a big story it was a big story yeah because people like hey we remember this and then they were like they just cut that out and deleted it and we delete it from the internet it'll never pop up ever again yeah we can slowly but surely remove it. Like Alyssa in her tweets that she's been deleting all day. She's a kid. I'm sure. Alyssa, I'm not mad at you.

Look, I'd be mad at me too if I didn't know me. It's all good, kid. But it's all right. Listen, we've got to get out of here. We're out of time. Philip DeFranco, you're an awesome dude. I appreciate you coming on, man. Thank you very much for having me.

This was a lot of fun. It's of fun. And folks, please subscribe to his YouTube channel because $3,397,000 is just not enough. Never. And you need more. And really, really great stuff, though. I really enjoy your videos and I enjoy talking to you. Ditto. Thank you.

We're in the neighborhood, man. Let's do this shit more often. Yeah, for sure. We'll be pals. It's crazy. Okay. Beautiful. Philip DeFranco, ladies and gentlemen.

I'll be right back with Chris Harris, one of the best automotive journalists in the world today. See you soon, in a couple minutes. Bye.

Bye. Bye.