The Joe Rogan Experience - #591 - Kevin Pereira

Episode Date: December 22, 2014

Kevin Pereira is a game show host, TV personality, and podcast creator. Check out the "Pointless Podcast" available on Spotify.

I thought a new intro theme was just the sound of an air conditioner. Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Showing my day, Joe Rogan Podcast, my night, all day. Today is December 22nd, 2014, and Joe Cocker died today. And fuck, man, that guy was a bad motherfucker. I mean, what a unique singer. What a powerful personality.

That guy was amazing. He was so fucking cool to watch that guy sing and when john belushi did his impression on siren live do you remember that i don't know oh my god it was brilliant but this is this is uh joe cocker at woodstock so this is like i guess this is 1969 that's when when Woodstock was, right? 69? He was just such a unique dude. Like, I can't think of any other singer that came before him or after him that was, like, quite like him. He was so Joe Cocker, you know?

I mean, he was just, like, this big, sweaty English dude with his crazy fucked-up hair doing an air guitar on stage. You could squeeze notes out of the air guitar that no one else could. Yeah, and it was like you didn't mind it at all. You know what I mean? There's something inherently douchey about the lead singer doing air guitar. Right. If this were a Maroon 5 concert, I would be throwing water bottles at the stage, but you feel his energy immediately.

If it was Nickelback, there'd be a riot. And I'd be right there because I fucking love him. Send me your ears and I'll sing you a song I will try not to sing out of tune Oh baby, how do you like it? Well, I'm ready, but I Should it have to walk that way? God damn, that dude was good. Did it say what he passed from? Lung cancer.

Probably smoking. Who knows? Maybe working in bars. I was talking to someone at the comedy store the other day we were talking about this how it's amazing how no comedy clubs have smoking anymore like it used to be when we started every comedy club you would go to it was like two pack minimum you'd walk in there and just be people constantly puffing every bar you would go to used to be like that. Most of the performers, too.

Yeah, yeah. A lot of the performers. And for performers who had quit, do you know how hard that must be? If you quit cigarettes and you go to a place where everyone's smoking and it smokes in the air, so you're essentially taking that nicotine in and it's firing up all those addictive little pockets

that you have that were dormant. Oh, Kevin, I see we're smoking again. Oh, I love it. I love it. You're like, no, no, no, we're not smoking. This is called secondhand smoke. We're in a bar. Well, if you're getting this, we should probably just get a little more.

Just get a couple puffs on the secondhand. Well, a little bit tastes so good. Why don't you just jam a whole bunch in your mouth hole? Kevin, what are we going to live forever, Kevin? Let's light this thing. Let's breathe it in. Let's take in the full dose. That's what it's like to be at the comedy store when you quit.

Like every time you quit smoking, or quit smoking and then go to the comedy store, everybody's smoking. Yeah. Or any comedy. On the outside. On the outside. But imagine you're up on stage

and people are just exalting their appreciation by blowing plumes of this addictive chemical right into your nostrils. But it must be super hard to quit. And also if they're alcoholics. If you're an alcoholic and you're in a comedy club, like everybody's drinking. Chappelle still smokes on stage.

He doesn't give a shit. He'll go right into the comedy store, light up a pack of cigarettes, and just smoke the whole pack there. Well, you know, you're kind of allowed to on stage. I think there's some loophole in the law that allows for you to smoke for a theatrical performance. It falls under performance art, right?

Or something like that. The same reason you're allowed to have power tools and a metal bra and shoot sparks everywhere in a really cramped studio. I mean, it's performance art. Well, if you had a cigar on stage, like if you were playing Mark Twain and that was part of your prop,

you had to light a cigar and pontificate in the universe, you would be allowed to use that. They should only use bubble gum pipes or those bubble pipes on Broadway. Oh, those old school ones? Yeah, you wear the red velour smoking jacket and try to deliver a really serious line and then just plume of bubbles coming out of your pipe. Have you ever been to the place in New York where they have the pipes on the wall?

No, what's that? There's a steakhouse in New York. Brian, see if you could Google the name of the place. forget it but sussman recommended it to me we went there once and it's been open i guess for like you know 150 years or something crazy and it has all these pipes on the wall like tobacco smoking pipes tobacco pipes from famous people right so i guess people would go and eat steak there and just smoke pipes. And they would take down their pipe like they had like a little wall. What was it called? It's called Keene's Steakhouse.

There you go. That's old school. Here's that photo of it, right? When was that latest pipe? Oh, look at those. Those are all pipes on the ceiling. Yeah, surrounded by framed racists. Look at all that.

That's hilarious. framed racists yeah that guy didn't even pretend he had black friends nope i don't even want the frame around me to be black you find some you find some brazilian walnut you know there was a photo we're having this podcast just a few days after these two new york city cops were executed in their cop car in brooklyn by this guy who was uh he was already on a run i mean he shot and killed his girlfriend or critically wounded he had three stars yeah he was trying to unlock the tank i don't know those video game rules but um then then there was a photo that was released from 1959, I think it was, of Miles Davis. Miles Davis had walked some white girl to her car, to a cab, and these police officers, a friend, he'd walked a white friend, and these police officers beat the shit out of him and arrested him.

And these pictures of Miles Davis, yeah, these pictures of Miles Davis got blood all over them. You're like, whoa. Bitches brew all over him. You're like, whoa. He's got bitches brew all over him. But you just realize that that has been going on for a long fucking time. Police brutality. But the good news is now we have first-person POV video from lapel cams, and it still can't get an indictment. So we're fine, right?

Win-win for both sides. Well, you know, I think the eric gardner one is insanely unfortunate insanely unfortunate and insanely unnecessary like what they did i think the incident is unfortunate but i think the lack of a fucking trial that's criminal in and of itself well it just doesn't make any sense unless that's your protocol if that's your protocol you got to change your protocol right if you're saying that he did nothing wrong well then you got to redefine what's wrong sure because this guy was just selling cigarettes man you know i mean jesus fucking christ he wasn't wanted for some other crimes but also they defined what's wrong they've the the chokehold is already illegal it's already banned and when the corner rules it

a homicide via chokehold you don't you don't rule against that like they've already decided so that's illegal and that is what the coroner said that's what the coroner said it was homicide i thought it was like heart failure due to diabetes or something like that no no that was the issue that the coroner the coroner himself ruled it a homicide wow i did not know that yeah well and then they go and then you know you watch the fox news where they're yapping about like well it's not a chokehold listen i've taken i'm a green belt in brazilian jiu-jitsu i took a class next to an orange julius there was a it was from fox and friends i think where they were talking about that he's like i know kung

fu i've seen the matrix and that wasn't a chokehold there's different ways to apply pressure to the neck and you would know that if you were a mixed martial artist couldn't believe it's hannity i think couldn't believe it um this guy uh this medical examiner says he was killed by compression of his chest and prone positioning during physical restraint by the police asthma heart attack and obesity were contributing factors. So I don't think we're supposed to say that it was the chokehold that did that. I had to connect because I could have sworn I read that it was the chokehold. But let's say, what was the first part of that?

Maybe it's a different medium. It was constriction of airway. I'm looking at the wrong one. Wasn't that? Yeah. I mean, what else is that? I mean, I guess you could argue it's a knee on the chest. Yeah, it's more of, I'm not arguing that the interaction with the cops killed him. The cops definitely killed him. Sure.

What I'm saying is I don't think that means that it was from his neck. I think it's compression of his chest. And all of it is related to the cops, but I don't think it's related to that illegal move. Not specifically to the arm around i don't think it's related to that illegal move not specifically to the armor on the neck right but the idea that yeah this is what they're saying uh compression of the neck okay now the medical this is a different thing the medical okay i'm this is the goddamn problem with the internet you're reading these stories and these people have their own agenda so i i apologize the autopsy there's a great buzzFeed article that found that the cement was at fault. Okay, this is... Okay, this was...

In this article, they're saying that he died from compression of the neck and also compressions of the chest and the prone position. So it was a contributing factor is what they're saying. It wasn't that the dude was out of shape and needed more cardio in his life. I mean, yes, that contributed, but it was compression of his neck. That's a chokehold, right? Exactly. How else do you rule that?

Yeah. Well, without a doubt, they killed him in this altercation. Like this altercation. I mean, yeah, he didn't have the best of health. And yeah, he did resist them arresting him for no fucking reason. But they shouldn't have been arresting him. He wasn't doing anything. And they were wrong.

He didn't even have any cigarettes on him. Even if this guy was selling loose cigarettes, like, come on, man. You're going to physically attack a guy? It becomes a matter of this is how we need to look at it. Instead of laws, like this is the law, this is the law. When you are doing that, you are essentially an armed thug for the tax collectors you're not really you're not doing police work anymore okay because police work in the most noble of ways is to serve and protect the idea of a cop in the best possible position

is someone who's there to protect average citizens from horrible people that's the beautiful aspect. And to keep and maintain the peace, to be clear, not to rile it up. Right, but see, that's not technically what they're supposed to do. Technically what they're supposed to do is uphold the law and uphold the whatever, you know.

Statute 417 says that you're holding this thing on a Sunday on this sidewalk and that is illegal. This is a red zone, so I'm going to harass you. And because you're tired of systemic harassment, perhaps, that's happened to you for years and years and years and that gunk is built on the machine, you do want to resist me because I'm enforcing this law upon you?

Yeah, one of the things he said is he said, this ends today. Yeah. That's what he was saying while they were about to attack him. Right. Leave me the fuck alone. It's so easy for... I see the Facebook articles that pop up in my timeline

that my own family members are posting. And it's so easy to share a meme with big capital text on it that says, Hey man, shouldn't be resisting. If you weren't resisting, that wouldn't happen. And I go, listen, you don't have to resist each and every fucking day. You have no idea what their life is like.

And this isn't a city with stop and frisk laws where you're just casually walking down the wrong street and you happen to be the wrong color. So you're going to get roughed up. You're going to have your pockets inverted. I think a lot of people have really racist ideas and they don't realize that they're really racist ideas. A lot of people have these notions about what it's like to be someone who lives in x or y neighborhood you know and you're living in you know you're in z town judging those x's and y's yeah you're in some fucking beautiful suburb somewhere with a bunch of white people and you're pretending that you understand what it's like to be living in a horrible neighborhood to

be a guy who's been arrested 30 times what the fuck has that guy's life been like what has his life been like since childhood when you say a guy's been arrested 31 times like this guy you gotta go hold the fuck on like when did that start how old was he was like 16 when he first got arrested like this guy did this guy ever have a chance or was he shot out of the womb into a sea of chaos and this is a minor thing i mean you're gonna you're gonna attack this guy physically over cigarettes that's crazy so if they are saying that they're just abiding by the law and they thought that they were supposed to do that we have to rethink what the fuck the law does because the law can't do that because you're not a cop then you are a fucking revenue collector laws it's it's so crazy to me that there are quotas in that profession right you've got

to meet your quota which is why at the end of the month you're getting pulled over for speeding a little bit more and certain areas are getting stop and frisk more because they got to get the numbers up they got to look at the spreadsheet and that line graph has to plot up what why isn't a yelp based sort of thing why isn't it the people deciding? Have the cops been helpful to them? Have they serviced them? Have they kept the peace? It's an archaic system. The idea of police officers. It's an archaic system. It really is.

Well, I think we need it. Yes, no doubt. We absolutely need it. We absolutely need military. We don't live in a utopian perfect paradise. But the system that's in place right now is so archaic. Correct. The metrics are off.

Well, this shit, the quotas, and then this shit of grabbing a guy and wrestling him to the ground because he's not paying cigarette taxes. Right. Come on. You know who he is. He poses no threat whatsoever. He's telling you he can't breathe, which— Those are weird crimes, man. There are so many people saying, well, clearly he can breathe because he's shouting he can't breathe which those are weird crimes man there are so many people saying well clearly he can breathe because he's shouting he can't breathe but it's been proven time and time again

that your lungs there's reserve air in there even if you can't breathe that you can use to get sometimes minutes worth of conversation out well i can help out on a couple of these points that people are debating first of all that's a fucking chokehold, okay? I know how to choke people. I call it for a living. That's a chokehold. When a guy has his arm around his neck like that, that's a chokehold. Compression of the neck, chokehold. But then it becomes, how did he actually use it?

See, I even tweeted. I'm like, that's a fucking chokehold. You can't say it's not. But here's the question. How much pressure was he applying on the neck? That's when it becomes a chokehold. When you are grabbing and you're pulling on the neck and closing off the arteries, that's when it becomes a chokehold.

It could be that he's loosely holding the neck in place. But the problem is the autopsy says that that wasn't the case. If the autopsy says he was choked, then he was fucking choked. If he had compression of the neck, that's what it's saying. The medical examiner is saying compression of the neck, compression of the neck that's what it's saying the medical examiner's saying compression of the neck compression to the chest and a prone position prone positioning during physical restraint by the police this is like in quotes so if this all of these things are all like using force on a person's body and all those things can stop you from breathing like when you're doing jujitsu there's there's positions where you can't breathe where you're not gettingjitsu, there's positions where you can't breathe, where you're not getting choked.

Like there's positions where guys have like a knee on your belly and they're grabbing you around the back and they're pulling towards you. They compress your chest so deeply and painfully that you can't fucking breathe. And this is for people who do jujitsu. Like if someone's on top of me and they're grabbing the back of my neck and they're shoving a knee into my chest. It's really hard to breathe. And, you know, I've done jujitsu for 20 years. So for a dude who's like a very overweight guy with diabetes, he's, you know, he's not physically fit at all. He's an older guy. And, you know, he's. He's not planking for fun.

Yeah, he's really overweight. And so they're on top of this guy and they're doing all that to him. Who knows how much resistance he has to their body weight weight who knows how much it takes before he can't breathe some people are not healthy and if all you have to do is like push them in a corner and smush them and they'll they'll like i can't breathe i can't breathe and they could die like that's not uncommon there's people out there that are that fucking unhealthy and i get the argument of yeah you shouldn't be that unhealthy and you know but that doesn't matter who's putting those fat fingers in america who's doing that dude a lot of people have said all this these things that you just said about resisting arrest right like i've seen

in my facebook timeline and i have to reply to all of it come on man he shouldn't have been so fat really he shouldn't have died i this is not a it's sad i the other day fell asleep while trying to power level in destiny joe and i almost choked myself i don't know what that means i don't know what that means i was on the couch like this xbox power leveling you're trying to get to 30 so i can enjoy the raids it's cool i'll teach you and destiny is a game destiny is in fact a video game you gotta fill us all time video game young and nonsense you don't you don't need to know the specifics of it you don't need to know the specifics of it. You don't want to know

the specifics. Is it that frightening? No. Like they'll suck you in that much? I mean, if you really love repetitive gameplay and keeping up with the

Joneses with virtual items, yeah, you should get it. Do you shoot things or no? I shoot lots of things. Lots of aliens and lots of robots. Really? Yeah.

Sounds too involved. Yeah, so you stay away from it. So you almost blacked out? No, I literally, I fell asleep on the couch and I had my neck just like this and you almost blacked out no i literally i fell asleep on the couch and i had my neck just like this and i kind of choked myself out as i fell asleep and had the yeah i've done that before falling asleep watching a tv show right your head goes down yeah you could kill people man it's like some people aren't aren't aren't very fit so what i

mean but what happens now so i bet there will be justice on the civil side which is even more Some people aren't very fit. You can kill them. I bet there will be justice on the civil side, which is even more infuriating because that means it's our tax dollars that are going to pay to settle this guy's illegal maneuver. This is all just so unnecessary. This is what's fucked up about it. It's just so goddamn unnecessary. I mean, this attitude of...

Imagine if there were no crimes. No crimes ever. No demolition man. Nowhere in the world. Everything is beautiful. Everything is like this room. We all get along famously. The entire human race.

Like, you could imagine if we got to a point where the entire human race is just totally cool with each other. And this would be like a major crime. Now, if this was like our major crime and we saw cops attack this guy like this, we would recognize the cops for being the bad guys. Right. Like if there was no real crimes, and all this guy was doing, this is like the worst thing ever.

He's not paying all the taxes on the cigarettes. I mean, that's it. And so we saw a bunch of guys jump on this guy because he wasn't paying cigarette taxes. We would be like, those are fucking thugs. Those ares thugs that are going after this guy we're gonna fucking help that dude you know fuck these people these people are mercs that shouldn't be the police force that you shouldn't you know and whether it's for speeding tickets or whether it's for petty crimes or if you really do have a quota on arrests,

you're betting against the public. Like, that's what you're doing. Like, what would you do if no one committed crimes anymore? If the whole country did become like this room where everybody's just chilling, what would we do? What would we do if everywhere you could go, you would never have to worry about being robbed

or never have to worry about defending yourself. It was just everywhere you go, you'd be like, what's up? What's up? What's up? I mean, if everybody was cool, literally that would be the world that we would live in. Well, what the fuck? If that was the case,

what would the cops do? I would need someone to police the cool factor. Like you're being too chill. Like, yo, you need to fucking rage it up. You're way too mellow. Sorry, sir. We just checked the list. You were the one millionth guy

with an ironic fedora on, and we can't let you through. There's too many of you. We already had a 12-hour drum circle. We can't have a 13th. That's the rule. I'm going to have to throw you against a brick wall. How many fucking guidos were inspired by the Sopranos

to go out and put on a warm-up suit and just go out to the delis and hang out and ramp up the fucking italian the fucking italian became good it became like like pleasurable to be a guinea douchebag as my relatives would call ourselves you know like it became like a good thing it became like a badge of courage hey it's fucking italians we gotta stay together these fucking italians over here we make the best baloos, the best fucking manicot.

It became like, you know what I mean? It became like a thing. I don't know how we got there. Point being, New York City's a fucking, it's a cauldron of anger, you know,

and it ain't, you know, it's not the cops' fault. I believe they're stuck in this system that's been there long before the guys who are in there now were running New York City. I think that you're dealing with a lot of crime. You're dealing with a lot of violence. And you've got a bunch of hard men that are in charge of taking care of that shit. Because that's what you need when you're running a police force.

And that's just Wall Street. But they're hot in a different way. but that's hot in a different way but you know there needs to be some sort of fucking ceasefire some sort of uh you know a communion with the people and the police because the police are the people and this is where everybody's getting fucked up there's this also you get versus them thing that happens you get one triple armor plated mind-sweeping humvee or school bus or whatever retrofitted it's been from Afghanistan or whatever. Your department gets one.

That's all you're going to need. Pass that. You got to donate to schools and fix roads and get some high speed fucking internet. Yeah, that's totally true. Except if something happens like what happened in the North Hollywood shootout.

Do you remember the North? I do remember that. Yeah, dude, we were on news radio on the set and and that shit was going down, and everybody was in the, I don't even forget what room we were in. We were watching it. We were all bundled up together.

We were like, holy shit. Yeah. This is crazy. There was a guy walking down the street just gunning people down. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. With armor- Head to toe, armor-plated. Oh, my God.

Like a fucking Iron Man movie. Like an Iron Man. Like a bad guy in heat. You know, like more exaggerated than heat, right? Because he was more armored up. Right. They have to be ready in case some shit like that happens. But they were ready and they are ready today. They were barely ready.

They were barely ready for that. They were super outgunned in that. They figured it out. They barely did. But that was because there was only two dudes you know i mean look i'm not saying that we should have a militarized police force but the reality is if a military attack did occur on a city the police force is not equipped to defend against it they're equipped to totally true but what we've also seen time and time again is that they don't

have the proper judgment as to when that use or show of force is necessary and that's why you see fucking tanks and snipers in prone positions at peaceful ferguson protests i mean that's so it's like it's it's the who watches the watchman thing right they need the gear to protect us from the fucking handful of crazies that once a decade come out and have their little parade yeah but who gets to dictate when and how they can use that gear if they in and of themselves they're corrupt or they've got corrupt motives yeah fuck as long as we don't show the interview we're all safe that's what it comes down to well it all comes down to first of all there there has to be some sort of accountability for public's reaction. The reaction the public has had, especially the one that kills me is that 12-year-old kid in Cleveland.

That one kills me. I can't even read about that one. That one fucks my head up. I don't think I know about that one. Do I want to know about that one? This kid had a toy gun. And these cops pulled over and they shot him within two seconds of seeing him.

They killed him within, literally, there's a video the car stopped the car opens up he pulls his gun out and he starts shooting to shoot and he kills the kid and it's like what the fuck I can't watch it I won't watch it there's also last night I finally that the the officer with the lapel cam who calls two dogs over and then shoots them she literally makes the kissing noises that atel cam who calls two dogs over and then shoots them she literally makes the kissing noises that at the dogs and calls them over and then drops them both and then radios it in god now now supposedly why did she do that she was responding to a call where these dogs were attacking someone and they were trapped in like a truck and she needed to get through these dogs

the issue is that and now granted they released the vine version of video. I don't know what the handles are on either side. But what you do see in this video are these two dogs, their tails wagging, zero barks. And she pulls the, calls them over. And then you see, just like a first-person shooter, you see the revolver come up. No. Yeah. And the trigger's squeezed. God damn.

And it's just like, another case of like, okay, now we're seeing it. Now we're seeing it. Now we're seeing it. Well, did you know about the guy who was a mayor somewhere and the cops got the wrong address? There was a guy who was getting pot delivered. And what he was doing is he was using this guy's address. Do you remember this story? Vaguely. It was somewhere outside of Washington, D.C.

Is this where they flash banged the house and the kid got scarred or blind? No, no, no. This is a different one. That one I think was in Atlanta. This is a different one. Sorry, there's so many these days, Joe.C. Is this where they flashbang the house and the kid got scarred or blind? No, no, no. This is a different one. That one, I think, was in Atlanta. This is a different one. Sorry, there's so many these days, Joe. I just completely lose track. Shot his dog, chased the dog down

and shot it in front of the kids and handcuffed everybody. The whole deal went through the house and then found out that the guy was actually the mayor. And the whole thing was just like this, or a mayor at least. Sure.

This whole thing was a fucking huge disaster. But you found out firsthand from a guy who's in government how thuggish they are right like they ran after a labrador and shot it like a labrador is anybody who knows labs like the sweetest friendliest dogs in the world and if you you don't know that you don't know if the dog's not barking and attacking you and you shoot it you you just murdered a dog. Right. You just murdered a family pet. That's crazy that they have that attitude.

But that's so prevalent. It happens so often. Well, and that's the case in point. Like had that happened to someone who just happens to work in a cafeteria or someone who picks up garbage, you probably wouldn't have heard about it. Right. Would have made it nowhere. They just happened to knock on the one wrong door that had a government official in there. And the same question again comes up. Is that protocol?

And if it is protocol, then protocol's fucked up. That's fucked up. If there was only a few people, it was a small town, you would never accept that kind of behavior from the cop, right? The idea is the only time that behavior becomes prevalent is when the cop is not a part of the community. When the cop is from somewhere else and comes in, he can shoot that dog and doesn't have to worry about sleeping in his house right next door to where he shot that dog. He can make a mess in an area and just get out of there. That's the problem with urbanization when it comes to the way people treat each other inside communities. people treat each other inside communities and that's i said that was a problem that happened when squad cars became more prevalent that that the on the streets policing used to have to walk

a beat and make eye contact with your neighbors and you weren't in a metal cage of course with a shotgun there and surrounded by technology and everything and they said that once police officers switched to that their patrols got larger so the intimacy dropped and you know that sense of community uh vanished and it's so painful for me to talk about in this way because i've got my brother's a cop i've got so many police officers in my family and so when i write the long-winded diatribes in response to moderately racist you know tea party action network memes that i see pop up right in my facebook timeline i do like i always make it a point to say i know that they deal with

the worst of the worst right every day they deal with scumbags or they deal with people who want to kill them or rape people or what yes they deal with that but it doesn't excuse any of this i'm sorry that's part i'm glad that they're there i'm glad that they keep me safe if something shit goes down the first thing you call the cops right that's who we would turn to but it doesn't excuse any of this behavior and you have to also admit that those constant interactions day to day dealing with people that you think if it's a routine traffic stop you have to in a piece piece of your brain has to fire off going this guy wants to fucking kill me right he you never know that that constant ping in your brain has got to warp your vision on everybody else.

There's no way to keep those feelings siloed. This has been a reoccurring subject lately. If people are tired of us talking about it, I get it. Yeah, well, it's just so in the news. It's happening so much. Let's talk destiny. Now, what level are you? Because I find if you get to 20, then it's all about your light level.

And then you're fucking farming for legendary engrams. And you know what a pain in the ass that is, and you gotta upgrade them, and I don't have enough fucking spin metal for that. Am I right? I appreciate your passion. At least I'm passionate about a topic. I know not what you discussed, sir, but I appreciate your passion. I'm not trying to dissuade us from the topic. I'm just trying

to sort of acknowledge the fact that I know we talk about it a lot. Sure. I don't think people are qualified to be police. I think it's too hard a I don't think people are qualified to be police I think it's too hard a job for humans I think we need robot police oh we're getting some fucking iRobot type dudes yeah and as long as criminals stay off the stairs ed209's got him man he's set make sure there's nothing to do with taxes nothing to do with revenue collection you can't arrest people for stuff like that right let's take it up in court robot police that you can fuck when they're

not doing your work. That's not how the world's going to work. But think about it. Everybody's running around fucking the police. They got to recharge at some point. Fuck the police.

Fuck the police. From the underground. No, seriously, fuck them. They're recharging right now. Maybe that's what it's called. It became a strategy that was devised by a psychologist who really let everybody know,

listen, if we're all making love, we'll respect and appreciate each more. It'll give the people a stronger bond with the police so they actually should fuck their police officers when they find them. How sweet are you after orgasm? Yeah, the robot police could serve a dual purpose. They could enforce laws

and blow you. You really feel good about interacting with them. Let's take action steps, though. We know robot fuckable police, like bipedal robots. The technology's not quite there. They're getting there. No, listen, by the time I fuck it, it'll be there. I'm not fucking any beta subjects.

I'm not trying any... You're not going to fuck Google ass? No, I'm saying I'm not doing any... Yeah, I'm not going to be an early adopter. I'm going to fuck the primo units that are ready. I don't want my dick primo units that are ready. I don't want my dick getting electrocuted off. You know some dude, one dude,

the chick's going to have some sort of a blowout inside of her, and his dick's going to get cooked to a crisp. Yeah. Yay, yay! It's got to run on electricity. New firmware. You're set. Yeah. If we replace police utility belts today

with just a bandolier of flashlightlight holes, that's about it. And you could go up and hug your local police officer and go ahead and give him a little couple thrusts at the waist level. I'm down. No, not him. Him or her. I'm talking about all robot girls. Let's not judge. What the fuck, man?

Look, it's going to be 10 years before this tech is ready. So let's throw fleshlights on officers. How many women would be into fucking robot dudes as opposed to dudes being a fucking robot women? Because for dudes, I think I can comfortably say it's 100%. 100% guys would fuck a lifelike, beautiful woman robot. Or not even lifelike. But I don't think you'd say the same with women.

I don't think 100% of women would fuck a robot. I bet they're way more discerning. I bet most of my ex-girlfriends would say that they have fucked a robot. They already would fuck a robot. I bet they're way more discerning. I bet most of my ex-girlfriends would say that they have fucked a robot. They already have fucked a robot. A motionless machine that's just driving for the finish. They would make love to the robot.

That's exactly right. I want a robot that asks me about my day. I wonder what the robot would look like if chicks could design it. That's what the real question would be. Saddle. Do you think it would even be white? Would it be blue, like Avatar style?

I think it would be red. If girls could make a guy any color they want, what would they do? They would probably make us pink. Transparent so they could see our feelings. Pink dudes. I want to know what's going on in there. Transparent. Just, yeah. feelings i want to know what's going on in there transparent just yeah i can't wait because the the future of that is leds that are customized with the music that's going on to robot fucking yeah yeah her mouth changes colors based on the skrillex track that's going you know like it's

gonna be wild that's gonna be like fucking a rave that's pretty psychedelic especially thinking about how small the LEDs could possibly get. Right. You know, like literally her whole face, it could be pores. And the actual pores of the face could be like individual LEDs. Well, we think about how cool projection mapping is, right? Sling an image onto a surface and, oh, it looks like it's that thing. When the LEDs are small enough to basically be those individual pores or pixels,

the entire surface can animate and come to life in a way that emits its own light. So you could walk around. You could change the face of it. You could change the texture. You could change whatever. It could be full motion video playing on your fuck doll's face. Well, you could show commercials. If you're doing a doggy style, you could show commercials on her back.

If you're a Purina dog chow? Yeah, they could just interrupt your sex for commercials. Like you get a sex program but you have to watch like a certain amount of minutes of a Coca-Cola commercial. Right.

So you watch this polar bear dancing around on the ice. On the small of her back? While you're trying to keep your heart on. And like she freezes while the commercial's going on and she won't move.

And it just dries up all of a sudden. Well, it just holds like fucking metal just not not not not scary but gives you a little extra squeeze just stay right here watch this coke commercial hold on look at the new fiesta look at how you're gonna buy coke after you fuck me right baby yeah i'm gonna buy a whole six pack then the polar bear sneezes when you finish at its nose.

Robot pussies are going to have to have juice, right? So they're going to have like simulated smells also so you could have like, I want kiwi strawberry pussy juice

or you could be like, no, I want realistic pussy smell. Right. You're probably going to be able to customize everything eventually. I'm going to fuck a

Cinnabon. It's going to be like a car. It's going to constantly smell like an airport. You could totally do that. Or a food court, right? Yeah, they could do that. Or they could make it. Some people would want someone to be like a car. It's going to constantly smell like an airport. You could totally do that. Or a food court, right? Yeah, they could do that.

Or they could make it. Some people would want someone to smell like an animal. Like, want to smell like a dog. Right. Oh, yeah. Maybe a wet dog. Wet dog. Some people are really into animalistic sex.

I want salmon and burnt hair. Baby, I want your pussy to smell like a fucking moose. Dirty feet. Dirty feet. Concert breath. I want cigarette breath. Arose. Dirty feet. Dirty feet. Concert breath. Cigarette breath. Armpits. Bad vitamins.

Yeah, you're going to be able to have sex with movie stars. That's one thing. They're going to be able to do a Jennifer Lopez model. And Jennifer Lopez is going to show up at your house and just start blowing you have we talked about this there's going to be a marketplace for this on oculus to start in vr right and there will be an underground marketplace where hackers texture map your favorite actor or actress onto a 3d fuck model and you'll be able to download and people will be pirating people's likenesses and making the same way they make soundboards they'll make these sort of fuck audio tracks so you can go and download your favorite celeb and pay you know some some underground group a

couple bucks to have access to that 3d model i envision a time i envision a time in our lifetimes where people regularly have like implants put under the skin of their head like you know how they they're doing all these different... There was an episode of Radiolab where they were talking about how they've applied electrical impulses to certain areas of the brain to stimulate learning. And people have done things like these video sniper courses

and they do it with the electrical impulses and their scores go through the fucking roof. Just through the roof. And these are just these electrodes that are placed on the head. If we permanently installed some sort of battery-powered system that was on top of people's heads, and people were constantly connected to this and could connect to each other back and forth with this,

I think that that would something that would be implemented almost like the cell phone is today. People would just get it because they would want to have that. Yeah, it's some enhanced learning device. And now, of course, I'll pop it on during my formative years and I can read the speed of Johnny Five and great, and that'll just become commonplace. Yeah, and recording on it, it'll upload to the cloud.

You'll probably be able to take pictures of your eyeballs and now you can send a photograph to your doctor your ophthalmologist and go oh gee this is how you're seeing shit oh you silly bitch you got 2040 vision you need glasses what's 2040 is okay right what's bad like 2050 2060 what's i don't know what the numbers are 20 is best yeah well actually some people have better than 2020 Like fighter pilots and shit Those fucking real Red blooded Americans That only eat cornflakes

In the morning Those fucking Blue eyed You mean the guys in the crate That are controlling The RC helicopter With the missiles With the joystick

Like Tom Cruise's buddy Ice Oh yeah Val Kilmer Remember Iceman That's who I'm thinking of Okay I'm thinking of

That's like the perfect Macho fighter pilot With perfect bone structure. Those guys have like 2010 vision. They see shit you don't see, Kevin Pereira. You're not a Sky Warrior. Clearly not, no. What do you do for a living?

I'm a Sky Warrior. That's way better than the Air Force. You should call it the Sky Warriors. Come on. I'm sure they do internally. It's 2015 almost. They chest bump in slow-mo in the locker rooms. We are the Sky Warriors. Come on. I'm sure they do internally. It's 2015 almost. They chest bump in slow-mo in the locker rooms.

We are the Sky Warriors. We are Legion. Some 4chan-er just woke up. What? Huh? Salt to action. I played Afterburner. I know what it's like.

I'm very curious as to see what effect drone technology is going to have on our overall quality of life over the next few years because as i've seen more and more of these fucking videos of these things flying around

i'm like at what point in time is it going to be like commonplace to be go outside and there's fucking drones all over the place picking things five, there's going to be dog walking drones, I think. Like Back to the Future 2? Back to the Future 2. Dog walking drones. What do you mean by that? Oh, they walk your dog for you? Yeah, you just snap it onto it and it goes.

That's hilarious. And you track the streets and it goes through GPS and finds it. What if your dog walked in a pit bull and you can't hold on to that fucking leash and it wants to kill someone's dog? I think it's got emergency jets that only last about 20 minutes that are really strong. Some sort of trank dart that just shoots into your pooch's neck, misfires and hits the police officer. They'll wait that 20 minutes out. They'll fight it out, and when that 20 minutes is over, they'll be ready.

They'll still chase that dog. Pit bulls are the worst. The worst when it comes to dog aggression. I've had dogs that were, I've had, you know, they vary. I've had a few pit bulls,

some of them that were really sweet and didn't want to have anything to do with fighting other dogs. And then other ones that that's all they wanted to do. And no matter what you try to do to get it out of them, especially males, that is what they want to do. And it's, it's so annoying because like, it's like having a friend who's super awesome until he gets around other people and then he starts attacking them and beating the shit out of them right you're like

why would you why would you do this why are you attacking all these people these people are fucking nice but he's like fuck it's just you and me that's it that's how pit bulls are when like if other dogs come around right there's a few of them it's not all of them but it's it a lot of it has to do with how they were bred and if you get one that had an actual lineage of dog fighting you know you're likely that weird that that dna is modified yeah just years of breeding of no when you come out you get big strong fast and you murder well the the actual scary ones believe it or not are not even that big really yeah the real fighting dogs like the dogs they use in actual gambling matches, are fairly small.

They're like 35 pounds. Like 35 pounds is actually a big one. Those are pit bulls, the real pit bulls. What do you see these big muscle-bound modified dogs? These are bred to look good. Those dogs, they would never last against one of those little 35-pound dogs because those 35-pound dogs just don't get tired.

They don't get tired, and they don't give up, and they don't give a fuck about pain. And they don't even look scary. If you look at a real pit bull, they don't have the super wide head. They're actually fairly small dogs. Big old barrel chests in the definition. They're fairly small dogs, and they're really great with people. They're the sweetest with people.

Because one of the reasons why they fight is to please their owner. Right. Like, it's really a crazy relationship. They're the sweetest, kindest dogs. They're, like, so friendly with people. But sometimes they mistake babies for animals. You know, and they're very scary in that way. Like, little kids and babies, it's very dangerous to have them around, like certain super hyper aggressive dogs because they don't know if they've never seen a baby

before right they've never seen a little kid before they might think it's an animal right fuck that you know fuck all that i don't think the drone's gonna be able to hold that back what's weird that you could just raise dogs you know and teach them how to attack it's kind of i mean i get the idea you can have kids and abandon them too that's. It's kind of, I mean, I get the idea of having them. It's weird that you can have kids and abandon them too. There's a lot of weirdness. That's weirder. That's weirder. Right?

But isn't that like- The question is, give them up for foster care. What would be better? To be with the person who wants to give you up to foster care? At least with foster care, you might have a shot. Totally. Someone trying to raise you and love you. Totally.

Obviously, there's a bunch of different reasons why people give people up but there's always plan b yeah the idea of giving up your kid to foster care for no reason other than anything else like if you're gonna die or you know i mean people that kind of shit happens and it's great in that sense but you hear all those nightmare stories about foster kids. It's like, you know what I mean? You always have to think how fucked up were they when they got in there? You know?

I mean, when you hear about foster parents having to deal with kids that were just severely abused for large chunks of their life. That's why I'm going to a puppy mill. I want to know that. Yeah. For, for anything, any,

any scar I put on an animal, I want to know I put it there. You know, if my dog pisses on the carpet, when I microwave a hot pocket, I want to know I put it there. If my dog pisses on the carpet when I microwave a Hot Pocket, I want to know that's because I was punching it in the face the first time that happened, not somebody else. Yeah, if you get a dog from a really good breeder, that is one thing. If someone is a very ethical breeder and they're really kind to their dogs, you're going to likely get a really good dog.

But you could get a really good dog at the pound. Totally. You never know. It's like I wonder how much epigenetics and like learned behavior passed down through the genes like affects dogs and people you know like the idea of adopting a kid like people love the idea of adopting a kid I mean you have someone a fresh start I mean that's amazing I mean give it give a baby a chance and you know and loving family takes them in or her in but you always have to like wonder

like i wonder how much of what a person is is what you teach them and what they see in their environment and how much of it is actually in their genetics i mean i think for sure you could take someone from a troubled genetic background and raise them with love and and friendship and they could be great people. Sure. I'm not questioning that. But what I am questioning is how much of who you are and who your personality becomes is really based on your genes.

Right. I would really like to know that. Look, no matter how much nurture you give somebody, they might still have a natural proclivity to be addicted to opioids. That's just like a thing that might happen. Same with other diseases and mental disorders and who knows so you can nurture the hell out of someone but at some point when it's when those synapses were firing and forming even in the womb and you know soap opera theme shows are implanting on its brain there's studies now that say that even in the womb that early you you know, people can, these messages and memories are implanted on the brain.

At some point you pop out and a certain percentage of your path is formed. Yeah. A certain percentage of your being is there that's unshakable and undeniable.

Yeah, I wonder how much, what that number is, you know? 12. 12 percent. 12 percent. Seven. Oh, that's the over-under?

What's the over-under? I think you can nurture, you can nurture you can nurture the shit out of most most things you can really turn it around at any age at any phase there's always turnaround stories but there are certain you know we know there are certain genetic markers that mean you're going to be predisposed to certain things so nothing you can do no question about it no question about it especially when it comes to certain diseases that are just almost unavoidable for certain people they have to to be really careful about their diet just because their genetics are set up in an unfortunate way.

Yeah, that's a strange, strange thing about being a person, man. All the variables. And then blaming someone for those variables coming out all fucked up and them being a mess. Right. You need to take accountability. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. That's totally true if you can. But it's way better to, like, figure out a way to mitigate the amount of people that are fucked up.

Like, instead of, like, saying, you know, they need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Probably. Yeah, probably. But also, how the fuck did this happen like why are there you know x amount of million people living in destitute poverty in los angeles i mean how many people are in like severe poverty in los angeles what is the percentage i wouldn't begin to know the number i wouldn't know the number but it's probably fairly high i bet i'd bet it would be a shocking number. Let's guess.

If they could afford bootstraps, they might pull them up. How many millions are there in Los Angeles? Like California all together has like 20 million or something like that. All right, let's find that out first. All right, how many people are in LA? Okay, so a truck is leaving Chicago at what speed? Let's guess it. Are we going like what's unemployment or what's- Well, first of all, how many people live in L.A.?

How would you guess? 17 million. 17 million. Okay, this doesn't make sense because this only says 3 million. Okay. Okay, the greater Los Angeles area, which contains 13 million and over 18 million people in combined statistical area as recently as 2010. So somewhere around, let's just call it somewhere around 18 million people, right?

Fair enough. So I forgot what we were talking about. We were trying to find out how many people are living in poverty. Jesus Christ, that's how boring I am. I bore myself to find out how many people are living in poverty of that. Jesus Christ. That's how boring I am. I bore myself. Okay, how many people live in poverty now? I got a photo

of a bunch of old dudes fucking and sucking each other on a hotel bed. That's what I managed to pull up. What? Lime party, bro. What?

You're not down with lime party? That one's not a lime party. Okay. It's lemon party, right? Yeah, lemon party. But why did you bring that up? Because that's what happens

when I start typing into a browser. You can function and actually solve a problem. That's all I can do is pull up pictures of old dicks. That's not true. I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but it's not true. Welcome to my world. I guess unemployment's 19%. 27%?

In Los Angeles? 27% of all the people in Los Angeles are in poverty. In poverty, okay. Wow, that's crazy. Okay. Wow. That's crazy. And so... That's insane. That's a lot of goddamn people.

Right. And there's people that aren't in poverty that have definitely struggled and worked very hard to not be there that immediately assume that the lack of working hard and the lack of a work ethic is the reason someone who is in poverty is in that case. You know? How many of them are out-of-work actors, though, that you can't feel sorry for? For unemployment? How many in poverty? How many of them are out-of-work actors that you can't feel sorry for?

Because if you knew them, they would be really annoying. Be like, yeah, who wants to hire that guy? I don't know. Dream chasers? There are a lot of dream chasers in LA, right? For sure. Right. a lot of dream chasers in la right for sure right but i i think the point that you were i think getting at is that it's very easy for people especially in a situation of privilege or one

where they're not living paycheck to paycheck or who knows what happened in their past maybe they had a family growing up it's very easy for them to think we all line up at the starting line at age zero the gun goes off and all right you just didn't want to run fast enough or hard enough it doesn't matter that you started off with one leg or you didn't even you weren't even at the stadium for this race you know it's it's hard for people to empathize and realize that we all start off at different places and in different ways we all think we're running the same race well it's also it's not a fucking race that's the other thing it's not i mean like if one person makes 10 times more money, but they're fucking miserable

and they're constantly having heart attacks, and the other person makes enough to live and then they're happy, that guy wins. Like the guy who's making enough to pay his bills and feed himself and is having a chill life and having fun with his friends, that guy wins over the guy who never sees his family, has a heart attack, works 16 hours a day, is popping Adderall all day to try to keep up the stock market. What if he's got a ski-do now? A ski-do? Like a sweet ski-do.

And he's just fucking crushing waves. I'm talking about like a really rich dude. Yeah, like a really rich dude. They don't have time to be out there ski-doing. I meant the marathon of life, not the marathon of money. You know, like people think we line up and we all are afforded the same privileges so look even that guy that makes just enough money and is happy with his friends he probably started off in a better place than some others around him i mean there's no denying that some people are born into this world without families without support systems without structure and it could be

that he came up in a horrible environment he figured it out and he got through but it doesn't mean that everyone should be forced to figure that out on their own like the idea of not helping people it just seems weird that as a government like that the government doesn't put more emphasis into that you would think like they're we're constantly worried about conflicts overseas we're constantly worried about conflicts you know in places where we're never going to go right but the conflict that's causing murder in our own neighborhoods and cities is almost like the root cause of it is never totally completely addressed. Like Chicago, like what's going on in Chicago with all the insane amounts of murder and violence. And Detroit's obviously got a lot of big problems. There's lots of cities in this country where people are dying

left and right. And it's very likely a direct result of this crazy infrastructure problem that we have where there's a giant percentage of people that are living in poverty. And until they figure out a way to, like, soothe that down, it's going to always fuel those conspiracy theories of people like, this is by plan. The government wants everyone to be huddled up together, angry and fighting over scraps of bread. You know, that's the plan. The government wants everyone to be huddled up together, angry and fighting over scraps of bread. That's the plan, to keep the people weak and keep them scared and bring them into these environments and force them to compete for very limited resources so that they're always fucked up and they never really have a chance to organize and figure out the system and restructure and create their own, come up with their own fucking cryptocurrencies. Right. You know, the argument that I see all the time is

can't give a handout or can't have a social safety net because someone else is going to take advantage of that and no one else should be rewarded

for being lazy. It's true. And I go, look, yeah, there are certainly cases of that and that exists and it sucks

and we should prosecute those cases violently. Fuck those people. not even violently even violently man i mean with with passion not violently but you get like with passion white people get crazy with their violence and passion yeah it's the same thing joe it's the same thing if i'm punching her it's out of extreme passion jesus christ i love you so much settle down so it's easy to go hey i don't want anybody taking advantage of me how dare you be lazy and suckle from the government tea whatever else it's very easy to understand your neighbor taking advantage of you right you work hard you come home you see your neighbor not working as

hard how dare he get any leg up but the real abuse the real systemic abuse and the real fleecing is happening at such a at the corporate and political level in such a great way that it's so hard for us i think for many to wrap their brains around and it's a lot easier to point to the the abuse and the the laziness of a neighbor and not the abuse of of a of a government yeah that's that is absolutely true and it's also one of those things like we were talking about earlier with the cops enforcing the law. If that's the system that's in place, that system's fucked up. Ethically, people understand that the amount of money that was moved around during that whole collapse in the economy and the amount of money that was moved around during the wars. Well, during the wars for sure. I mean, they're finding there's something like 50, 000 troops or like ghosts yeah they're not really people right and then they're somehow or another

these 50 000 people are getting checks and you know who knows where the fuck that's going either it's complete waste and incompetence or someone's like filtering off that money somehow and putting it somewhere and sure using it for something there's always stories billions unaccounted for trillions of dollars unaccounted for oh this corruption thing oh they they get vehicles and they burn them so they can order more because then they get to skim off the top like there's story after story of this happening and you talk about chicago you know what helped there but some schools maybe maybe a community garden who knows some music get it get the kids a fucking tuba and a teacher that's compensated to to teach them how

to use it that doesn't cost trillions and trillions of dollars yeah for sure and you know it's also what we were talking about earlier with quotas like quotas sort of put a machine in place yes almost make it where it's to their benefit to continue to allow a certain amount of crime so they could continue to have a certain amount of people that they arrest. And it's almost like that when you have gigantic corporations that contribute money towards candidates that they know would be more likely to engage in military conflict. And we've seen direct results of relationships

between these gigantic corporations like Halliburton. Even Rapid Scan getting these scanners in. It's an offshoot of the war. There's just so much money involved. And that money's been going back and forth through these people for so long, it almost becomes impossible to stop. Because it's like, hey, we're going to come along and tell you that you can't make a billion dollars a year anymore Right, and then you're gonna go no fuck that. I make a billion dollars every year. This is what I do I make a billion dollars every year. No, no, you're not gonna make a billion dollars anymore because what you're doing

We're not gonna let you do anymore. We're gonna make it illegal what? Right illegal to kill people in another country to make a billion dollars, dude How am I gonna make a billion dollars if I can't kill people in another country to make a billion dollars. Dude, how am I going to make a billion dollars if I can't kill people in another country? I need to make tanks and I make fucking jets that shoot rockets. I need to make this money. And I need new granite countertops in my 12th home in the Hamptons. People don't ever want to downsize. No.

They want to push further. What stock is celebrated for maintaining? None. That graph needs to go up. That's one of the stocks, yeah. Businesses have this weird thing. Like, they want to make more money every year. And that's, I mean, I guess that's the deal with inflation,

that every year the money's not worth as much, so more money is... But still, no, you want a bigger house, you want a bigger car, you want to fuck off. Up, up, up. Gotta move up in this world, Jetson. You know, like, people get crazy. I need music-reactive LEDs in my pussy at home. We need to restructure society, goddammit. You know, like, people get crazy. I need music reactive LEDs in my pussy at home.

We need to restructure society, goddammit. Kevin Prairie needs to run for government. It starts here, Joe Rogan. It starts right here. Are you ready to run for government? Are you ready to be a president? No. What kind of skeletons do you have in your closet, son?

Oh, I have many, but I've let most of them out myself. Put cowboy hats on them and put them around. But, you know, government isn't where you could make a change like that, unfortunately. I mean, you're buying into a system where you're beholden to fundraising, which then you're beholden to the people who gave you that money. I have a feeling that the way the technology of the world is progressing, like we have this idea. Follow me on this. Yep. We have this idea that the law that's in place now, as far as the laws that are in place, like how fast you can drive and what's legal and what's illegal, these are all in place and enforced in a system that we have all agreed to. We've all agreed to this system because it's been in place for a long time.

There's the fireman. There's the policeman. These are iconic figures. I know the colors of their vehicles. This is a regular part of our culture. But as the internet expands and we start wearing these headpieces that can communicate with each other through Wi-Fi and send thoughts from brain to brain, which they've already proved they can do over the internet. Correct. We're going to get to a point where we're going, why is this system in place?

Why do we need this system? This system is just, you're saying you're in charge. And I'm saying the people that said someone could be in charge were from a totally different world. They weren't even from, they're not even from Earth. They're from Earth 1776. And there was nothing going on then. You had a pasture and you're shooting bows and arrows and animals to try to stay alive you're growing some fruits and vegetables you're building

a boat in case you got to get the fuck out of here if some other people show up and they have cannons pointing in your direction you're living in a incredibly simple world the world of today The world of today, I would say there's a good deal of what is going on in the world today, especially in terms of what kind of communications we're able to pass back and forth through each other, what kind of information we're able to spread, and what kind of messages and interactions you can get from it just this giant giant giant group of people like worldwide like people can agree or disagree or be outraged or or or or be be kind and sensitive like that all of it can happen these big giant waves going over like a whole planet that's this is a different time the whole thing different. And as soon as we figure out a way to interface with each other completely and totally all the time, we're going to have to rethink a lot of the laws that we have in place. A lot of the laws that don't. Why is this law still around?

Because someone's profiting from it? Is that what we're doing? We've set up these situations where we have a steady stream of money coming in that you guys are addicted to. So because you guys are addicted to this money, you're going to put like 16-year-old kids in jail because they're selling joints? Are you going to take people that are doing things that they should absolutely have the right to do if you can buy cigarettes, if you can drive a motorcycle, if you can fill in the blank? There's a million fucking dangerous things that we allow on a regular basis. But you're telling that kid he can't have mushrooms. Right.

Because what? Because you say so? Fuck you. Who are you? Have you ever done mushrooms? Why are you saying he can't do it? This is our problem. Our problem is our system is archaic.

It's not caught up to who we are as human beings today. It's not caught up to the way we interact with each other. It's just not. This idea of a representative government. Well, I can represent myself. So you can represent yourself too. Right. This isn't 18-6 in fucking Philadelphia where you had to get a guy and pick up your handwritten

scrawl on some fucking shitty piece of paper and put your stamp on it and hand it to him and he wants to ride a fucking horse into town and deliver it to other people. It's a different fucking world. I don't need a representative government we represent each other the more segmented that we get the more like the smaller everything shrinks down we should all be in charge of our own thoughts okay and if we all vote a popular vote for the entire united states and it comes out all fucked up and things go chaotic, guess what? That means you engineered a system where half the people are fucking retarded, guaranteed. And this is what happens when you do that.

This is what happens when you don't take advantage of the number one resource human beings have, which is other human beings. You don't pump these people up and try to make them productive members of society that are competing alongside of everyone else and producing alongside of everyone else and interacting and being a part of communities. No, you just say just leave them in their little shitty spot and fuck them. And when you do that, if you actually have a common vote, if you ever actually have a popular vote, you're going to deal with a huge number of uneducated people a huge number of disenfranchised people that grew up in fucked up households crazy fucking parents and drugs and meth and fucking how many of that's millions and millions and they can vote everyone can vote everyone can vote have you got a popular vote you got a real fucking problem and that has to be one

of the things that they were thinking of when they made this whole electoral college system. And, you know, when they created like a representative government, they had to like go and just like everybody can't just have a vote. It's still too crazy. It's too crazy. But, you know, I agree. I don't know that that was for nefarious reasons. I mean, at the time, just the technology alone for that wouldn't have happened. I mean, they would still be counting votes.

They were by hand and by candlelight. But I think if they did allow for a popular vote, it was probably problematic, even back then. You had a lot of apes. You're like, these motherfuckers are going to get together. We need one dude we can really trust

that he gets to say what the fucking state's going to do. Listen, Doug's edumacated. Get him in there, and he's going to speak for us. It's a total illusion of a choice. Because, I mean, you kind of had a choice, but you only have a choice to get to choose who chooses for you, which is crazy. Right. I'm not a baby.

It's 2014. I'm not a baby. The amount of time and energy and resources that any of us would have to devote to paying attention to everything that's coming down the pipe politically, legislatively, however you want to look at it. It would be a full-time job for all of us, right? To be well-reasoned and well-educated on all issues. So I do see the merit in having someone appointed to maybe advise you to give you an opinion on something. But at the end of the day, if I want to cast a vote, I should directly be able to do that. If I'm not there, you an opinion on something but at the end of the day if i want to cast a vote i should directly be able to do that if i'm not there you do it on my behalf what we need to do first and foremost is all laws which are in place that don't involve a victim right morality

laws morality laws victimless crime all laws that pertain to you deciding what you can and cannot do with your own person, your body, your mind, where you live, all those things. All those laws should be taken off the books. Like, let's just start from scratch because those are ridiculous. You got to admit it. All these crazy drug laws. If you could go and buy prescription drugs at any pharmacy, your doctor can, you could say, hey, I've got this issue, blah, blah, blah. Your doctor decides you need some pain pills. You buy, I don't know how many

they give you. They give you a 30 and they give you a month's worth. Maybe you have to take two a day. Maybe they give you 60, just swallow all 60 of them with a bottle of whiskey and you're dead. Okay. Everyone can do that. So if that's the case, you can't decide what other shit people can't do, right? You can't, you're not allowed to because you haven't made any sense because the choices that you've allowed, that you have tax stamps on, they're murderous. They kill hundreds of thousands of people, whether it's cigarettes or alcohol.

You're standing on moral quicksand. You're fucking crazy. You're talking crazy. I know that you're being bought and paid for, and you can't run everybody if you're clearly being bought and paid for. You can't do that. Now now what happens when you say like listen in some places it's still illegal to have anal sex still is it's amazing it's crazy yeah but the act of it or the fact that it's illegal

both no right thank you the fact that it's illegal is the the horrible part so so now it becomes legal and you say well there's no there no victims. Everybody wants to consent. That's great. So what happens when I go to the park and two people are just exploiting it? They are raw dogging as hard as they can next to the seesaw. Now, am I a victim in this? I say you're a victim. Or is this their freedom of expression? Okay. Is it their right to be able to fuck wherever?

Because we would have been able to when we were sitting by campfires and living in caves. That's a very good point. know i mean i think in that sense communities should be able to decide what uh they accept and they don't accept in their community where it may possibly um what's the best word to use because in that case i'm going right up to the county line and i'm fucking everything that i can just across the border so the kids can see it when they're getting out of school legal in my town sorry kids i don't know if it would work like that probably if they could see it it's probably still illegal back in the day they probably had rules though but i was trying to figure out what you think so yeah i don't think so i think the way you could say that that would be a law the way you could say that you could you'd have a victim

there it's because you exposed people to very uncomfortable things that you don't necessarily have to do. You're imposing upon them the visual image and the act of something that a lot of people think is grody. So as a staunch vegan, Joe Rogan, I'm offended when I see that hunk of red meat on the plate at the restaurant and I'm walking by and it's on the street. So no more steaks on curbside. You've got to be inside.

You can't have a steak in the afternoon in New York. I bet there's people who would argue that. Right? It's crazy. I bet there are certain hardcore vegans

that probably are very angry when they walk by a restaurant and they see plates of meat outside when they're walking on the street. There are PETA members that don't want to see your dogs on a leash

because you shouldn't own an animal. How dare you? Well, those are the animal liberation people. Those people are off the charts. Sure. Well, there's some PETA members that also believe that.

Do you know about the lobster folks? No, what's the lobster folks? Lobster liberation. People with claws? No, no, no, no, no, no. These people break into restaurants, get lobsters, and release them in the ocean. No! Yes, they do.

They kick open the front door to the Red Lobster and go to the aquarium in the lobby and just start janking them out? They go to seafood stores and they break in the middle of the night and steal all the lobsters out of their tanks and then release them in the ocean. That's gotta be a fetish, right? They're fucking idiots. There's something going on there. You ever had a claw job? You were trying really hard

today. What are you talking about? You never had one? I'll let you answer that. Do you think I've had a claw job? No, Joe Rogan, I don't think you have. And that's why I don't think you're in a position to judge anyone on it. I don't think that's what they're doing, man. They're not raping the lobsters.

They're liberating them. They're really liberating lobsters. So herein lies the issue when you propose the utopia of let me vote for me, let me have a say, it's victimless crime because everybody at some point— Is that even utopia for everybody to get a choice? Doesn't that seem crazy that that's utopia? But that's what it was being proposed as, right? Or even a start. A better start.

Okay. A better start. A better place. But someone's always going to feel victimized. For sure. Always. Oh, for sure. So how do you police that?

Well, I think, here's my thoughts on it. One of the big ones is, if everything did go to popular vote, and we would really... There's a recent Gallup poll, one of the big ones is if everything did go to popular vote and we would really like there's a recent Gallup poll one of the crazier ones it was something in the neighborhood of 40 something percent of people believe the earth is less than 10,000 years old people that they polled you know they believe in the biblical account of the earth when you have a giant number of people in this country a giant number that are growing up, as we said, in poverty or in crime-ridden

neighborhoods, in areas where they're not getting a lot of education or they're not getting a lot of positive role models. And there's just millions and millions of people that perpetuate the same sort of cycle. If you have a popular vote, they're going to get to vote. It's going to be crazy. Everyone's going to get to vote so the those millions can like they can sway a politician one way or other so there's politicians that would purposely try to keep people ignorant there's politicians that'll purposely play to people's ignorance like forget about what if you just release it as a popular vote the world like we're gonna realize like we have a fucked up balance of how many people are impoverished, how many people are uneducated, how many people have no hope.

There's a fucked up balance. If that balance doesn't get addressed, if you had something like an internet vote where everyone gets to vote online, everyone has their own device, you all vote. It's like an app. You get on your phone. Everybody can get it. Sure. Pretty much everybody's got a cell phone or someone they know. At least they have an internet connection.

It's a 1% world view. Sure. You do it like that. No. If you looked at the world, you can go to other countries, man. I mean, a good percentage of people. There's more cell phones on Earth right now than there are humans. But that's mostly because some people have four phones to one house.

But that's still an incredible number when you consider there's seven goddamn billion people on this planet and those numbers man i mean that's we're talking that's this is this is like a crazy amount of human beings if everyone three all 350 million you know everyone over 18 whatever that is 200 million whatever the number is if all those people got to vote like on everything on everything we decide and all sorts of options were on the table not just democratic options versus republican options you know of a representative or a president but everything we do everything we do from reparations for slavery how about that gets introduced how about they want uh african americans to get money the same way american Indians get money.

American Indians that are forced to live on reservations, a lot of times they get money. Like people that live in Alaska, they get money from the oil companies. They get like a check if you're an Alaska resident. They get like a check every month. So there's going to be like votes like, hey, okay, well, how come you have money that goes to people in Alaska and you got money for people over here? Why don't you give money to black people? Verizon put in a fake tree cell phone tower two blocks from my house, which I'm sure is giving me all sorts of cancers, which will show up in a few years time. And there was a city hall meeting about it, not a vote, but they had a meeting about it. That tower goes up.

They're going to make some money off that. It's going to service customers. It's directly affecting me. I didn't have a say. And my bill's not going down because they're going to make some money off that. It's going to service customers. It's directly affecting me. I didn't have a say, and my bill's not going down, because they're allowed to expand. That kind of shit I would love to have a say on. But then you look at local elections, look at the

cycle that we just had here, where half the population didn't vote at all. They had the ability to on issues that affected them, but they didn't. It's not that easy to move either, man. If you wanted to get out of your place, you'd have to sell it. Try selling a fucking house today

and not losing money. Right. The market is goofy as fuck. It's all confusing. Like, how much is a house worth? You know, if you really stop and think about how much people's houses cost, like, have you ever been to places

where houses are extremely overvalued? You ever been in a town? Yeah, California. California for sure. But have you ever been to, like, the Bay Area? Oh, yeah. Like, Silicon Valley in a town? Yeah, California. California for sure. Have you ever been to like the Bay Area, like Silicon Valley? Oh, yeah. I'm from there, yeah. Okay.

That is a crazy place to be now. And there's all these stories that are being written on San Francisco about how many tech millionaires are moving up there. And the prices of things are just crazy high. Like a regular house is like $2 million, $2.3 million. And you go, whoa, whoa, whoa. They were trying to explain to me when I was up there. This guy was pointing at this house, said that house sold for $3.5 million. Right. I'm like, you're crazy.

That's not real. It's a real teardown. But when they build something new on it, it'll be great. No, it was a nice house. It was a nice house. It was a normal-looking nice house. But it was a small, like, regular house. It wasn't a $3.5 million house.

It was like a $500,000 house. That's a nice house. You can get a nice house for $500,000. And I was like, how does that work? Demand, supply and demand. How many people are billionaires up here? What kind of a crazy hive of cash is up in that spot? All having to do with technology. all having to do with the internet

all having to do with future uh advances like tesla motors and shit like that they're all up there all those fucking google people they're all up there that's what you pay the price to be in that vicinity you pay the price to be near those engineers and those venture capitalists and those angel investors dude that's what you're buying into. That's the proximity. I have a friend who's renting a house in Atherton.

The house is worth like $15 million. It doesn't make any sense. It's just a regular house. It's a regular fucking house. But you go in the yard and the yard's pretty big. So it's worth like $15 million.

I'm like, that is the craziest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. It makes no sense. Have you been down to Santa Monica, Silicon Beach now as they're rebranding it? Same thing's happening over there. Well, Venice as well. Callan sold his place in Venice. He sold it in one day and he made money off of it.

He's like, Google is like opening up some thing down in Venice. So they're just buying up property. These crazy millionaire fucking ones and zero people come into town. Money bagged it up. You hate that? No. I don't hate it. I love the fact that they create technology.

I mean, I don't hate the fact that they're getting rich either. Because that's where the headset's coming from. That's how we're all going to communicate. It's not coming from you or I, sir. No. I mean, I have no problem with... I'm just fascinated by trends. And I'm absolutely fascinated by trends and I'm absolutely fascinated by I don't like the fact that people who make a moderate amount of money are being pushed out of neighborhoods.

Right. That bums me out, especially people that have had friends grow up in that neighborhood and their kids go to school in that neighborhood and they're being pushed out because houses are becoming extremely expensive. Right. extremely expensive, which is unfortunately a big problem and a big byproduct of this whole tech boom, you know, money grab. It's like, these are so many people up there that are making so much money. It's like way more than we could ever wrap our heads around. You know, like, there's like a bunch of billionaires up there, like a gang of them. And we say billion, and we think we can fathom that. Like, oh yeah, I get a billion, sure. But you can't imagine that in Monopoly money.

None of us know what a billion dollars truly... Like the notion that you could not spend enough money fast enough. And everybody goes, oh, of course I could. I'd buy a space station. You literally couldn't spend money fast enough before you died to spend all the money you have. Yeah, it wouldn't... It's unfathomable. It literally wouldn't be physically possible.

I know some billionaires. It's very weird. Even when I'm around them, I get nervous. Really? They're too rich. They're too rich. It's weird. What pay grade are you most comfortable around?

I like people that make around $100,000 a year. Those people seem to be the coolest. That sounds pretty solid. Yeah. $100,000, you could pay your bills, but you're not getting crazy. Right. It's like when they get into that keeping up with the Joneses level, when they get into the millions, when you start making a lot of money,

especially I think if you're like one of those Wall Street cats, you're dealing with a bunch of other people around you that you're trying to keep up with as well. They're buying houses in the Hamptons, and you're buying, you know, they're buying the S550, and, you know, and they're like, oh, I've got to keep up. And I think they get trapped in that sort of keeping up with the Joneses. And that becomes their reward

for extracting ones and zeros. So it's all about making more, more success, dog eat dog, go for the jugular, and then get the house that shows you got

the higher level of what a fucking goofy game you're playing destiny destiny it's their version of that but i'll let it slide but they have a house in the hamptons you shouldn't resent it it's a real their version of no i resent the destiny thing why is it why is it because it's not a goofy game it's really it's a phenomenal game they're all good you can do great and level raids i love you but i think you're a goofy man. Here's the thing. It's not bad to be goofy. I'm goofy as fuck.

I think at that point, when a bank balance defines you, it's not like they're just amassing this because they have this greedy pit and they want it and greed, greed, greed, greed, greed. I think it's actually more human than that. I try to look at those that that are in the game for extreme wealth for shifting ones and zeros solely in their favor um i feel sorry for them because i feel like that's what defines them and wouldn't we all like to be the best version of ourselves that we could be and for those people sometimes i think that that's they think that that's the best version of them is the wealthiest version of them i also think it's very convenient to feel sorry for them because like everyone in life there's a a giant spectrum so there must be among super baller billionaires a dude who is having a fucking blast whose life should be a movie who's kind and friendly and considerate but is just banging tens in his yacht all over the planet. Like, woo, woo. The guy's just living the most crazy, ridiculous, fun, loving party ever.

And he happens to be like a super successful entrepreneur slash businessman character. It's got to be Elon Musk. It's got to be possible that someone could be that person, but we don't associate that. We always assume that if someone is successful, if he is some Rolls Roy-in look at my mansion look at all of my property i've got with zero money down and girls are behind him dancing we assume that guy's a piece of shit right we always do we always assume that anybody who becomes like stupid uber like private jet successful you know we always assume that they're assholes. Right. Like they must be. There's no way he could be that.

Like Richard Branson's the only guy people go, man, I don't know, he seems cool. Yeah, they want to love him, but it's, I don't know. He seems cool. Richard Branson seems cool. He's got the long hair. Right. He says nice things.

He donates a lot of money. Right. He's got like a lot of charitable causes. He's got a lot of like interesting philanthropic causes, interesting prospects in terms of technology, involved in the whole Virgin space flight thing. Totally, yeah. I mean, he's a baller.

He's a super billionaire guy, but he's kind of nice. Who's hating on Richard Branson? He seems like a sweet dude. He's like the best example of what could be possible if someone was like some super baller capitalist. But it's like really kind of nice and chill. Right. He was in that fucking Culture High movie, man.

Branson was? Yes. Oh, nice. Yes. He did an interview in the Culture High about marijuana. He's a fucking super billionaire. I saw him tweet the other day about possession laws. What the fuck?

Come on, guys. I'm like, yeah, good. He doesn't have to worry about that at his level. Exactly. Fuck yeah. Richard Branson's down. He's like the coolest billionaire ever. at his level. Exactly. Fuck yeah. Richard Branson's down. He's like the coolest billionaire ever. One of them.

Lorenzo Fertitta. Is Musk a billionaire by now? Frank Fertitta, the guys who own the UFC. They're pretty fucking cool. Those guys are billionaires. They're the only billionaires I feel comfortable around. They're really friendly. Frank and Lorenzo have always been super cool to me.

The guys who own the UFC. They're billionaires. They own like 20-something casinos. I think 22. Jesus fucking Christ. Think about that. In Vegas specifically or around the country? I don't know.

I never counted. But I think most of them are in Vegas. But because all those station casinos, they own all those. There's a level of money that certain people get to where it's clear that they're competing with a very small group of other assholes that are making stupid amounts of money too like the forbes high score list it's like i gotta get number 12 well you know what i look at every year i look at like the most expensive yachts like yachts are crazy i can't fucking believe elon musk yeah he's made 1.1 billion on paper yesterday.

Yesterday? Just yesterday he made a billion? God bless him. Oh my God. He deserves every penny. I know he's part of it. What did he do? What happened?

As shares of Tesla Motors gained nearly 14% yesterday. Yeah, but that could go away tomorrow. That's fluctuating. That's not fair. That's kind of sneaky. Those sneaky fucking numbers playing assholes. If he decides to cash out today, it's real. That is true. It is real. It's very real money. He's not fair. That's kind of sneaky. Those sneaky fucking numbers playing assholes. If he decides to cash out today, it's real. That is true.

It is real. It's very real money. He's not going to, but... I forgot my point. I'm curious. I forgot what I was talking about. You said some billionaires make you uncomfortable. Have you been in the room with a billionaire who said something or done something that made you uncomfortable?

Well, I've seen them eat babies, but that's normal. That's what everybody does. Did they marinate? Get over that 48% tax bracket. Was there any barbecue sauce? Any glazed? Any glazed? normal. That's what everybody does. Did they marinate? Get over that 48% tax bracket. Was there any barbecue sauce? I've met quite a few over my years of working for the UFC. And I think the weird

thing about human beings is you always expect well these people are going to be fucking different. You know, I've met royal people. I've met royalty, especially in the Arab Emirates, United Arab Emirates. And normal, regular folks. I talk to them super friendly, super normal. I know a dude who's, you know, he's royalty

and he listens to my podcast. Like, that's weird shit. That's amazing. But when you're around him, after like a minute, you forget that he's royalty. He wants to talk MMA. Right. He wants to talk techniques.

He wants to talk, you know, what happened with that? Why did this go wrong? What do you think his prospects are? Like, the dude's like a super super fan so we have these awesome like technical conversations about strategies and stuff so like can I choke him with diamonds I have large rope gold rope I get in neck good good in octagon. I lean chopper on him. By the way, I know you have analytics, so you know how many people listen to your podcast,

but in your heart of hearts, do you really understand the reach that your voice has on a weekly basis? Why, are you trying to freak me out? No, I think it's fucking beautiful, man. I went on an ayahuasca journey. I was in Iquitos, Peru, and of the 20-some-odd people there, I texted you while I was there saying, hey, man, every fucking morning your name comes up over eggs and lentils.

Like, you drew people there from all over the world at all ages, all walks of life, all coming there based off of hearing you interview people and talk about it. Listen, I would like to disavow all knowledge of you bringing up this subject. I didn't know that this was going to be discussed. I would have spoken with my attorney. I believe what those people are doing is illegal. That's why I haven't done it. Not in Peru.

Not in Peru, to be clear. In our country. I think someone was actually trying to pass a law saying that if you violate a law outside of America- You can't talk about it back here? No, but that's an American law. You can be tried for it in America. God, I forget the particulars. I hate when I do that.

But it was so bizarre because someone was saying that it would be in protection of children going over and having sex with child prostitutes. I'm heading to Bora Bora, banging a 12-year-old. Exactly. Now I'm accountable for it back here. Exactly. You could be charged as a pedophile and a rapist in America. But then people said, but yeah, but you could apply those to drug laws. So you go to Portugal and smoke weed all day,

and then I come back to America and you arrest me. Or go to Peru and have an ayahuasca ceremony. Ayahuasca is sneaky though, dude, because it's not technically illegal. It's in a weird classification because it's not really dimethyltryptamine. What it is is a brew of a bunch of plants that are all legal. All those plants are legal. You know, you could buy most of the ingredients for ayahuasca online because it's legal. Correct.

They're not, there's too much DMT out there in plants to make every plant that has DMT illegal. So you could conceivably come up with some form of, all ayahuasca is, all you're making is an orally active version of DMT. DMT, which has been proven to be produced in the human brain your lungs produce it your liver produces it it's this incredibly potent psychedelic drug that your body makes and unfortunately it's in everything it's in so many different plants and vegetables that our body has ways of dealing with it and one of the ways is a stuff called monoamine oxidase is the long and boring version

of it but your body produces monoamine oxidase and it destroys DMT when you're digesting it orally. But if you take it with what's called haramine, which is a natural MAO inhibitor, it becomes this crazy drug that you can drink. So you can get an orally active DMT trip. But that's not totally illegal. But DMT is illegal. If you have extracted DMT, that is illegal. But if you have the plants, that's not totally illegal. But DMT is illegal. Right. If you have extracted DMT, that is illegal. But if you have the plants, that's fine. It's like the gun analog is that an AR-15 is illegal in the state of California.

You can't buy one, right? Right. But you can certainly fucking build one. Yes. It's really easy to do. There are whole communities built around that where- And once you have it, it's okay to have. Exactly, because you made it.

There's a loophole for you so it's like fuck it's like the the component is illegal but the sum of all the parts is totally fine you know very weird yeah there's a lot of weird laws man there's a lot of weird laws well i was at the shot show two years ago and i saw that like because we'll explain what the shot the shot show is comic-con for law enforcement it is it is you know uh ted nugent they're selling fucking beef you know beef venison jerky and flaming bow and arrows and guys selling kits to modify or dodge durango so you can hide three weapons in the center console during avn also exactly yeah it's it's law enforcement and adult superstars it's law enforcement and what they've created.

They're babies. Exactly. I went to this booth that allows you... How rude. I said that to myself. They sold a piece of an AR... Basically, it was a bolt-on for a semi-automatic weapon that if you held this handle with enough force and held down the trigger,

the natural recoil of the rifle would automatically chamber the next round and fire it so it turned a non-assault rifle a non-automatic weapon into one and it could retrofit all these guns and they were you know they had a big banner that said california friendly come on guys legal and good old ca and and that was a real rude awakening for the whole well i think I think we need stricter gun laws. And we need to get down on paper exactly what you can and can't own and why. And it's like, no. They'll just figure out a way to make it limbo under whatever legal bar you set and it's done.

Game over. Well, we've got to really figure out a way to keep mentally ill people from getting guns. And make sure that they do – that people that have guns have them locked somewhere. You have to have it locked. You can't have it so your crazy son can come home and raid your gun cabinet like the Newtown, Connecticut thing. That's what happened, right? It was like the guy raided his mom's guns or something like that. I don't remember the exact story, but it wasn't his.

But you got to make it harder to get them. remember the exact story, but it wasn't his. But you've got to make it harder to get them. And you've got to make sure that we have a good account, like a good audit of all the crazy people. You've got to figure out how crazy they are. How can it be harder to adopt a pet in certain places? Like there's home inspections and background checks and all sorts.

It's harder to get an animal than it is to get weapons in certain areas of this country. How about a car? Drive a car. Sure. You have to take a license to drive a car. It's difficult. Kids freak out. They're panicking.

They make sure they come to a complete stop. Look left. Look right. But a gun? There you go. Go have this. My pappy used his Corolla for hunting. So, goddammit, I deserve to be able to drive one if he hands it to me. There's a video of a dude hitting a deer on his bike.

He's riding his bike down a hill, going pretty fast, and this deer just perfectly T-bones him, or he T-bones the deer, and goes flying. And the most uncomfortable part is the end. You hear him moaning. After he hits the guy,

he's like, and you know. Oh, poor bastard. That was the end of him? I don't know if he died. I think he just got fucked up. and you know oh poor bastard was that that was the end of him I don't know if he died I think he just got fucked up yeah

I mean you hit a deer on your bike and you're going 30 something miles an hour whatever the hell he was going and he went flying well it'll collapse and escalate

so imagine that on your little bike yeah a big one can right there's some big ones too man especially in the north you know you can you could hit one

that's like 200 plus pounds did I read were you hunting you were up hunting something in the north recently weren't you that was in canada yeah i shot a moose with what with a rifle no shit that's the head over there so awesome oh that's that's it that's it yeah yeah wow did you did you say like a sweet 80s action film line before you pulled the trigger no i did not i did not have much time we saw it coming out of the woods or walking through the woods. We had a small area where we could shoot it.

Were you in some sort of bluff or were you up in a tree? No, no, no. We were actually just coming down this road and we saw it on the side of the road. It was just total dumb luck. Wow. Yeah, moose hunting is a tricky thing to do unless they're in the rut, which means unless they're breeding. If they're breeding, you can kind of find them.

You can call them in. But we got there a little late, so they were done breeding. So we had to literally just walk around and drive around and try to find them. So this guy just shot a load and he was doing the lazy waddle. Most likely he didn't get a chance to breed. Most likely he was walking around because he was still looking for some pussy.

Oh, he was. There was a few guys. It was 3am at the nightclub. He was that moose. He's the last call moose. Because there was a few of. It was 3 a.m. at the nightclub. He was that moose. He's the last call moose. Because there was a few of them that were fighting. We found this dust up in the middle of a street or a dirt road, rather, I should say. Definitely not a street. There was no, nothing was paved up there. But there was like hair everywhere, tufts of fur, a little bit of blood, and like this

big scuffle in the middle. And you could tell by looking at it that these two giant moose had just started smashing heads together they were like claiming this area and so like all around this you know this huge like patch of dirt which is all fucked up with hair and dirt and imagine being there while that's going on broken cue sticks and bar stools it's like fuck you man you. It's my dirt patch. You're dealing with 1,400-pound animals often, and they have what looks like a giant saloon door

growing off the side of their head. Right. And then they're slamming those saloon doors into each other. I mean, they have fucking giant trees growing out of their head, and they're smashing into each other with these things. And these things are huge. And if you watch, they're like way bigger than a horse they like tower over a horse they're really long-legged like when we saw one uh walk across the road we were on the on this um this uh this one road and uh like in it was all snowy but up ahead like around the corner

like outstep something that is impossibly big just way bigger than the truck that we're in. Like if we had hit it, the top of the truck would have smashed into the bottom of the moose. Like that's how big it was. They're enormous. They don't even look real. Like if you didn't know a moose was real

and it was like a legendary creature and then you were driving down the road and you saw one walk across, it would affect the rest of your life He'd be like I can't believe I saw a moose. I thought they were legendary. I thought it was like a fucking unicorn Oh unicorns got one horn in the middle of his head. He's magic get the fuck out of here that thing's stupid That's a terrible place for a horn look at this thing This thing has giant paddles these huge tree branches grown off the side of his head

You wouldn't believe it was real. You would think you had seen some hobbit shit. You had seen, it was some Lord of the Rings thing. Right. You know, some, it was like, really like a Game of Thrones animal. It's not a real animal. Giant moose, this big fucking forest horse just wanders across the road. So what, do you have to stop and just wait for it to cross?

Because there's nothing, I mean. Oh yeah, I mean, you don't want to hit it for sure. Of course you don't want to hit, yeah, you don't want't want to yeah you don't want to just i wonder if i think we can clear it let's go they're not smart i mean they will fuck up especially when they're horny apparently they they try to fuck everything when they're horny they'll come over and try to fuck a lawnmower like they they hear things they come towards those things they want to know what the fuck it is and and they'll smash you too if you you get in the way of them and they're horny they'll just fucking smash you with those horns and stomp you to death

Yeah, they're huge. I guess our robotic fuck police force is not gonna work in Canada when we were up there We found one that had been taken out by a wolf that was pretty eerie a wolf took down a giant ass moose It was a smaller. It was a smaller moose It was a bit like a baby moose, but even a baby moose It's like a deer sure like a couple hundred pounds was a big fucking animal and it was just torn apart Just most of the meat was picked off the bones and you got there and it wasn't that long ago We had gotten there like maybe a day after it happened So it was really eerie to be around this because there's hair everywhere like I'll show you a picture

The ground is just completely covered in hair And then there's this skeleton. And you're looking at this and you're like, imagine what that must have been like to see. Imagine being there while you see that fucking... That wolf picking off every piece of flesh and meat. Yeah, the first one comes along. That's what it looked like on the ground.

Oh, shit. Yeah, that's the meat of the animal all picked off the bones. You're right. For some reason, the hair just hanging out. It's just that's even more disturbing. I didn't expect that for some reason. I figured like they did something with the hair.

No, they just leave it on the ground. And they eat a lot of the skin. Like the skin's gone. Right. Like the actual outer skin, it's like they spit out the hair. They're coughing it up. Yeah.

Like they spit out the hair. Have you seen the video of the, it's either a cheetah or something you've gone at a porcupine have you seen that one where he's taking down the porcupine how's he taking it out it's it's i don't know if you can google it it's probably on you can't show it you can't show it even if it's on youtube no no whenever we show whenever we show youtube nature documentaries bummer always get pulled off it's a great video because he stalks it and it's it's almost like he's going to let it pass and he waits and the porcupine's doing his thing but it's quills are you know it's out it's it's it's sprouted it's ready to go and it comes up behind it and just pause under it gets in there and it gets attacked and then it pulls the little needles out licks

the wound there's a little blood dripping and then it waits again and porcupine starts waddling away and he walks near it and he gets something and fucking jabs at him he's just trying to pull his fucking leg and it's they do this dance six or seven times and each time cleans the little quills out licks the blood waits goes back in and finally on the last one gets him and you just watch him fucking once he gets under there and grabs him he just slams him and then fucking tears into him oh it's amazing just holds him down just holds him and bleeds him out it's like squeezing the last toothpaste out of the tube. He's just clamping him down. Can you imagine how hard your life has to be to the point

when you're trying to kill one of those things and porcupine and eat it with your face? Right. That's how hungry you are. You're gonna go out of your way to slowly reach under this thing's ball sack and gut it. Right. Knowing it's gonna bleed you out as well

like all right this is the barrier to entry nature's so ruthless the existence the day-to-day existence of just trying to kill things with your face to stay alive you know and eating grass and always be looking around right everywhere you go're fucking. What the fuck was that sound? Always waiting for some giant dog thing, whether it's a wolf or a bear or a big cat thing. These fucking things come on and eat you and your family. And they just eat you, just jack you and start eating you alive. That's your life. Your life is like eating grass and looking left and right. And being ready to fucking bolt at any second.

Fuck this. Right. And hope you can run just at any second. Fuck this. Right. And hope you can run just a little bit faster than Tommy. That's beautiful. That's beautiful nature. That's our beautiful nature. Our perception of nature is so distorted. Our perception is, wow, look at the eagle soaring over the beautiful lake.

That's a dinosaur. He's looking to murder. He's going to swoop down. Right. And you're just lucky you're big enough that he can't pick you up. Right. Because if you were smaller, if you were like rabbit size he would fuck your world up that eagle yeah he'd come down and fucking kill you yeah that's not a show of

freedom he's not flapping his patriotism in your face he's looking for food dude imagine if how crazy would this be if global warming made the earth warmer and because the earth got warmer eagles got more food. And eagles got so big, they started preying on Americans. Would that be the most ironic shit ever? Right. I feel like that's a sci-fi movie

that's coming out next week. If global warming set up a path in motion that turned eagles into giant, 20-foot human-eating predators, and we had a war with the eagles, and it was all because of global warming because they had access to all that frozen land up in Alaskaaska and canada 24 hours a day because that's where they live those fuckers they live all in the north if the north becomes like palm springs you know but

water you know like a jungle constant food we just have a swarm of eagles coming down to seattle fucking people up we go to war with the eagles eagles are the size of dragons yeah that's what i'm saying yeah then the polar bears we're gonna have to deal with the eagles. Eagles are the size of dragons. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Then the polar bears, we're going to have to deal with them. They're going to have to swim on down here. Climate change causes a change in animals. How do we know that climate change isn't going to cause... I'll tell you how we know,

because climate change isn't real. Climate change is like Obamacare. It's not real. It doesn't exist. The Earth has gone on in cycles. Do you know how cold it is out there today? It's almost 60 degrees. Thank you.

Where's your global warming? Where's your global warming now? It's hilarious. Stephen Colbert had a funny line about that. It's like saying there's no global warming because it was cold out today. It's like saying there's no global hunger because i just had lunch right there's something i can see six taco trucks out this window clearly people aren't hungry yeah i might have paraphrased that i think it was cobert i might have paraphrased that

but it's pretty close to what it was i stumbled through it but yeah there's this climate change going on the the only question is like how much of it is because of us and there's got to be some of it right it's got to be we're fucking dumping shit into the sky all the time pretend that that's not doing anything that seems a little disingenuous i mean why you pretend well industry and jobs the idea that that's the only way we can do things is so stupid what do you where's where's the solar powered factories bitch where's the solar powered clean yes bitch? Where's the solar powered clean electricity factories? Every time I read another fucking story about some city getting just clumps of their hair

falling out in the shower because they're fracking 12 miles away, every time I see a new report or a new study, I go, man, where's the solar tax breaks? Let's just stop feeding that industry and go to the most infinite clean resource we have. Yeah. Please. Speaking of which, that industry and go to the the most infinite clean resource we have yeah speaking which i'm

gonna have that dude from um from uh the fracking movie gasland yeah gas oh yeah i haven't seen gasland too but i saw gasland one and i was like whoa and he's gonna come on soon he'll be on uh like you think he might it might actually be next week we We're working it out. Love that. Great movie. And that one also is a controversial movie, and there's a lot of people that think that a lot of the stuff that he said was not exactly accurate, and some people have said that some of it is bullshit, and other people said, no, that's the fracking industry trying to discredit him.

Sure. So I will give people the opportunity to ask me questions uh before that just if you have any questions about like uh the movie or fracking but they made fracking illegal in new york new york state they just signed a bill saying out of environmental concerns the governor decided to make fracking illegal which we've got it it's like i don't know how many spots they've ruined you know i don know. I mean, the idea of cheap oil, that sounds nice and great and everything, but I'm so not into, in 2015, since it's almost there,

and all we've learned about the consequences of poisoning the environment, to just wantonly do that without working out the technology to its fullest extent first. Because they're already coming up with new ways of fracking now that are less harmful to the environment like there was just some new release the other day of some new discovery well okay well why didn't we wait until you guys made that no because you greedy cunts didn't mind if you

polluted a well you didn't mind if you fucked up a lake you didn't mind if you ruined an ecosystem of a few square miles just a few square miles but that's not no that's not yours that's the earth's like if you're doing something and you know it's going to ruin a lake forever like don't do that that's fucking stupid don't do that another layer of that is you know when i was down during the bp spill and they were spraying which unprecedented amounts of corrects it all over the gulf yeah hundreds of thousands of gallons of of a chemical which had a proprietary materials list and i'm like look if you're spraying hundreds of thousands of gallons of something into a water supply that is a shared resource you don't get to keep the sauce secret this isn't the colonel sanders recipe here it's

a one stick sauce same thing with fucking fracking it's like we don't know specifically what chemical cocktail is going on we can get traces of it but we have no idea what's being pumped into this shared resource, and it's not yours. Right. And even if we do know, if you do know what those chemicals are, do we know the long-term consequences of introducing those chemicals to the environment? No. And what are we willing to accept those long-term consequences? Maybe you are. Maybe he isn't. If you guys, you know, we have to be able to figure out what's correct and incorrect

and how much is based on, like, exaggeration and how much is based on fear and paranoia versus propaganda. Like, where the fuck is the scientist? So, you know, where are they? And then you got to look at the scientist. Where do you get your money? Have you ever gotten any money from a fracking company? Do you get paid for the oil company?

You ever done any consulting? Yeah. Because that's what happened with the financial crisis. You ever see Inside Job? Do you ever see that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Woo!

That's a fucking great one, right? You find out that these guys who enact policy, they then go and get jobs. At the companies. Yeah. These professors of economics, they propose certain standards based on their knowledge because they're economic professors. And then they get these fucking juicy jobs when they retire when they stop teaching and they make bank it's like doctors getting bonuses for prescribing certain prescription pills i made my quota great now i'm

gonna bow out and go work for one of those companies as a consultant get that paper kevin i love it it's a race joe rogan i'm trying to be in front just trying to get paid kid trying to get that paper. I got to do what I got to do. If you want me to propose some shanky-ass laws, let's do this. Love it. That's what's going on. If people have done that and have profited and it has been shown that the deregulation of the markets and all that was disadvantageous or was for the economy and if that is the case you know well how did that happen oh you guys did

it oh and you guys got money from that you got to give that money back yeah you stole that money good luck with that one Steven little fucking weasel you see today that shit policy creating fuckface it says it's fucked up policy that you know the torture memo stuff today was the new york times did you see that is there more no they're calling the new york times uh which if you believe that any traditional publication is still going to have maybe an ounce of impact on a broad level a lot of people point to that right um they are calling for basically for uh for the justice department to to look at prosecuting cheney bush and name checking all

of the entire the cia the psychologists who came up with the torture stuff you know it's like the ones who created the program they're they're actively calling for investigations and potentially prosecution god damn it's about damn time wow the rectal feeding thing it's like what and like someone was trying to justify it, that's the way we got into nutrients into patients who don't want to eat. I don't think it works like that. I don't think you shove food up dudes' assholes when they stay alive long.

Like, what? It's reverse foie gras. You gotta plunge the oats. Like, is that who we are? We're stuffing food up people's assholes? Is that who we are? When it comes to the lowest dungeon of secrecy in American policy, when it comes maybe not the lowest by the way just one low that we know about yeah one one that we found out about i mean what if there's some darker shit that they've done but you know what man well there was a real there was a photo on my facebook wall that had

the it was an image of a dude in mid descent jumping out of one of the towers from 9-11 oh god and the the meme text on the top was like uh you think water you think um spraying water in someone's face is torture just remember what they did to us you know it's like like if you believe in you know eagle screams and seeing that go out there like i had it lured me in i had to like debate this with people who would like and share that and distill the argument down to that and again it's just like there's no denying that wrong has been done to this country and there's no denying that there are people out there that wake up and their first thought out of bed is how can i fuck up america that absolutely exists that's real okay um but how do you think you create more people like that you know what what process leads to people

having that sort of mentality and now there's a certain percentage of people that would say even if we gave a fair trial and found someone guilty and executed them for planning war crimes that they would still have family members back home who are super fucking pissed that is that is true that there's nothing that you can do to change their minds but when a drone blows up a building and there's 15 innocents killed with that well that's mothers and fathers that's neighbors that's cousins there's an ancillary fallout where you are just breeding that mentality you're sowing the seeds of dissent you know you're you're riling people up and when a torture memo like this comes out and we hear about our our moral high ground is completely taken out it was taken out at the

knees there's a very damning report. If you believe a percentage of what goes on in there, you know, you want to stop this cycle. That's not the way to do it. It's not the way to get credible information. That's been proven. And it's only a way to create more hatred.

And they, I mean, they did stuff that was just unimaginable. Like they froze a guy to death. Yeah. Put him naked. Hypothermia on a cold floor, naked,

handcuffed to a wall. Froze to death. I mean, putting people. Hypothermia on a cold floor, naked, handcuffed to a wall. Froze to death. I mean, that's how cold he got. Putting people in coffins. He couldn't breathe. He died. Dead. He couldn't maintain his body temperature.

He died. That's just fucking crazy. It's fucking crazy. I mean, if you want someone dead, kill them. Okay? But don't do that. Right. What are you doing?

You're freezing them to death? Just, if someone is a murderer, someone's done horrible things, and he's, you know, it's been deemed that he's guilty, just execute them. Don't fucking do this. And if you're doing this

just to get information, there has got to be a better way. Did you try ecstasy? Right. Did you give him ecstasy first? Right. You know, he'll tell you a lot of shit.

Yeah. I bet, get that guy exed up. Oh, you can't do that. It's illegal. Right. Oh, okay. It's illegal to freeze his dick off? What if you put it in a magic bullet and shove it up oh you can't do that it's illegal right okay but what if you freeze his dick off what if you put in a magic bullet and shove it up his butt then it's totally legal right grind it into it feed him mdma the old rectal roll fucking a man

and the you know some people i was getting into this discussion and they were like well do you know how expensive it is to have a trial why should we waste money on a terrorist trial and go do you know how fucking expensive to run black site operations with these cia salaries where these dudes that whose chests are filled with medallions and striped bars are putting tubes in dudes assholes and paddling them naked down hallways as they put chains around their neck like that's expensive too yeah i would say this is not the way to handle anything this is not the way to do anything. This is not the way to do it. Rectal feeding should never be on your menu. That's not noble. Unless you're at Chili's.

Captain America would never rectally feed somebody. Think about it that way. When it comes to what we should and shouldn't do in dealing with bad guys, think about what the fuck Captain America would do. He would never stuff a tube up someone's ass and force feed them a hamburger. He wouldn't do that. So you shouldn't do that. If you're going to work for the CIA, you should at least uphold the standards of Captain America. Actually, Joe, in issue

17 of Captain America, he did give rectal feeding to Dr. Gizmo. He slipped the tube up his robe. Well, he rectally fed him the truth. Put this meal on my shield and just jam it in there. Put freedom right up your ass,

boy. This is the cock of freedom. Yeah, he actually flew to the courthouse with that dude in the doggy style position. The stick in that guy's ass. He was holding on to the back of his hair as he was flying through the air. Watching an ad for Coca-Cola. Captain America couldn't even fly. You know, he was just like the first guy on EPO.

Couldn't he jump on his shield and fly? Is that not a thing? No. No. I thought he could throw his shield and leap on it and kind of surf the waves. He could kind of jump higher than you or I, but he was in no way a superhero. I mean, he wasn't even like a bird. Like birds would be like, bitch, can't even get off the ground.

He'd be like, look how high I jump. I'm Captain America. I'm on a super soldier serum. He was the first steroid user. That's exactly what it was. It's like the United States came up with awesome steroids that make you the pride and joy of America. Why wouldn't they just give that to everybody and have America filled with Captain Americas? Why rely on this one dude?

You fucking idiots. You made some shit that obviously keeps this guy alive since the 1930s. He looks fantastic. Give it up, bitch. Start passing out the super soldier serum. Why aren't you mass producing that? Why isn't it for sale like cigarettes? How come the super soldier serum isn't everywhere?

Oh, you like having us weak, relying on Captain America. You fucking shitbags. Give up. Give up the secret soldier serum. If we all had secret soldier serum, we wouldn't have to worry about ISIS or Al-Qaeda. We'd all be jacked, and we'd have shields, and we'd be jumping over buildings, and we'd have America filled with bad motherfuckers instead of ironic fedora-wearing douchebags with bird-like bone structures.

No. There'd be so much roid rage, it'd be awful. It'd be a nightmare outside. Captain America has no roid rage. Could you imagine the DMV if everybody was Captain America, though? You guys are so wrong. All you have to do is just inject morals and ethics into him at the same time. You inject them along with super soldier serum.

Who gets to define the moral code? Super kindness vote. A villain's going to put a backdoor in that. The guardians of peace are going to put a moral backdoor in it so they can activate all the super soldiers. Isn't the Watchmen the greatest cartoon or slash comic book slash adventure movie ever? Because it was so like kind of morally ambiguous. Sure. They were all like everyone's kind of bad in some sort of a weird way.

Like even the good guys were fucked up. Everybody's got flaws. Yeah, like in a weird way. Even the good guys were fucked up. Everybody's got flaws. Yeah, in a manger way. In a way that we've seen Tony Stark likes to drink the demon in the bottle. I remember that episode of Iron Man. I was a little kid. I was a big Iron Man fan. And I was reading the comic book, and the episode was called A Demon in the Bottle.

Tony Stark, Iron Man, was having a hard time with the whiskey, the alcohol. He just couldn't stop drinking. He can fight terror in that suit, but he can't fight his own demons. The demon in the bottle. The demon in the bottle was getting at Tony Stark. That's amazing. I mean, that was like the worst.

He wasn't raping anybody or killing and murdering people. The Watchmen murder people. You know, they'll kill people, stomp heads. You know, like some of the shit that they do is like really dark, man. What are you showing? Is that it? Yeah.

Oh, look at him. He's looking in the mirror. He can't even believe himself. He looks like the Punisher. What have I done to you? Stop staring at me, Iron Face. He's sweating with his suit on underneath his clothes. They always had a little bit of a torn shirt.

There's something. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like it's all frayed. What happened to his shirt? He was stumbling down a flight of stairs. Dude. When I was a kid, man, comic books were salvation. Is his hair dyed cosplay blue?

Yes. Did you see that? Yes. What the hell is going on? Oh, that was always the case. Really? He had blue hair? It was like Superman always had blue hair.

Yeah. I think it was like a highlight thing. That's how they decided to go with highlights because it's hard to make a black hair with white highlights. Right. Right? It's like, what does the shiny part look like? So they decided to go with highlights because it's hard to make like a black black hair with like white highlights right right it's like what does the shiny part look like so they decided to go with blue like almost universally it's really occasionally you'll have like brown like like brown in between the black but a lot of times it's blue and you don't even question it like yeah they're just punk rockers I guess some weird weird fucking blue hair Iron Man goes to Hot Topic and gets punky colors.

Yeah, we just accept it. Yeah, he's got blue hair, but he's cool as fuck. Look at his suit. Look, it's blue hair, man. I love it. Oh, look at him. He's so depressed in his chair. Yeah, he's bummed out, man.

Doesn't that look uncomfortable? He's wearing a big metal thing. Like, take off your metal pants while you're sitting there. Yeah. Yeah, I guess unless you just... No, he must have calloused skins or something, right? Like, I mean, you would chafe for the first week you're Iron Man

and then you just develop a tolerance. Well, he never explained how it looks like metal but bends like your muscles. Yeah. Was that ever explained? Like, how does that work? Yeah. Because it doesn't have like real joints to it.

It might be made of unobtainium or something. There's some rule we don't know about. How goofy is that word? Unobtainium. Unobtainium. Wasn't that one? Which movie was that? Avatar.

Was it Avatar? Yeah. Giafani Rabisi. I remember Adamanium was Wolverine, you know? Get his claws. Unobtainium. Like, come on.

Really? That seems like really uncreative. I have in possessium. No. You can't have it. I'm looking forward to those new movies

more than anything. James Cameron's a bad motherfucker. Yeah. I love those movies, man. There was an article just yesterday, I think it was, that came out that said, Avatar gross $9.2 billion, whatever the fucking number was. Like $92 million or $900 million worldwide,

but it didn't leave a cultural impact. Who said that? Who the fuck cares? Who said that? It's been swimming around like mad, this article, of like, it didn't leave a cultural impact i'm like who the fuck cares it was it's been swimming around like mad this article of like it didn't leave a lasting impact was where people agreeing with that okay yeah they were saying like oh you're right avatar was kind of a failure i mean it made a lot of money but kids don't it didn't lead to any real in-depth discussions about why because it was

like the hottest girl ever that broke up with you and you were depressed to the point where you don't bring her up anymore. That's why. Dude, people got avatar depression. Do you remember that shit? People were getting avatar depression. Don't tell me it didn't make a cultural impact. You're a fucking idiot.

Whoever wrote that is ridiculous. That movie was spectacular. Amazing. It was sci-fi at its best. It was just dances with wolves. Yes, exactly. It was Pocahontas, too. It was the same movie. Who cares? They're all the same movie. It, exactly. It was Pocahontas, too. It was the same movie.

Who cares? They're all the same movie. It was awesome. Avatar was the shit. If you didn't enjoy that movie, just as a movie, you're a jaded fuck. Did you see it in 3D,

in theaters? Fuck yeah, I did, dude. Because that is like, people go, well, I don't like 3D. It's not good. You can't judge Avatar by the up-converted bullshit you see at the local,

you know, hardwood chair fucking multipe. You gotta go IMAX 3D. Oh, I wouldn't have loved that movie nearly as much as if it were in IMAX 3D. I gotta be honest. I loved it, but I needed that. I needed some fucking Sativa and IMAX

and a 12.1 sound system and fucking Avatar titties depth in my eyeballs. That was amazing. Well, here's what people don't... Oh, I can't tell you what you do and don't get, but this is what I don't get about people's reaction to it. The same people would probably be comic book fans.

You know, there's a lot of people that are like snobs over a movie like that, but may actually be into like other genres where they're except plot holes like that. Of course. But what Avatar is, is a comic book what Avatar is is a comic book movie. It's a comic book movie. It's almost cartoonish in the fact that you know everything's going to work out in the end. You know the good guy's going to get through and the bad guy. David's going to beat Goliath.

Yeah, you got a bad Marine. He's in his fucking bad outfit. Like, you're going to kick that guy's ass. Right. The whole thing is like, but it's a visual masterpiece I mean it's you're watching this world play out this like in I mean it's it's it's a little homogenized it's a little pasteurized and it's a little mainstream guilty as charged it certainly is but so what just enjoy it it's amazing

no it's trees with the fiber optics and the dragons. And braid fucking. Oh, my God. It's incredible. I want a hair doc. Dude, it's incredible. It's interesting you mentioned that these guys love comic books, and yet they're picking this apart because there's subsets of nerds who will go out of their way to excuse or explain logic flaws in Star Wars

or Star Trek, anything Star-related. Lord of the Rings. They will cook up formulas that explain the science behind a wizard staff. They will do everything they can to defend a franchise they love, but if they will apply that exact same violent hatred,

white hatred, to a new property that, well, Unobtainium is stupid, and then they will just tear it down with that same laser focus. What I loved about Avatar was that a bunch of, not just I loved watching it. It was fun. I thought it was just a fun movie. But what I loved is watching all these people with this quote unquote Avatar depression talking about it.

There was all these people that were saying like, that movie made me realize how unrewarding my regular everyday life is and how unspiritual and unconnected I am to the energy of the universe and life. And those beings, those Na'vi, they were free. They lived like flying nomads and shooting bows and arrows and shit. And for whatever reason, it's just so much more appealing than the shitbag life you have getting stuck in traffic, driving to your cubicle. Right.

Where you constantly feel out of balance and out of peace with your environment. Dude, most men live lives of silent desperation. That was, was it Ralph Waldo Emerson? Who the fuck said that? Thoreau. I think Thoreau said that. It's one of my favorite all-time quotes.

Most men live lives of silent desperation. And you see that Avatar movie and you're like, God, I want to fly a fucking dragon. I just want to live in a hammock in a tree. Just live off the land and justly avoid all the monsters and shoot them down as I leap over them and just live. Be alive in exciting times instead of this fucking traffic and sneezing and bullshit.

And, oh, I got laid off. Great. I think I'll shoot myself. You know what I mean? This is the world that people are trapped in in a lot of ways. And so to say that that movie wasn't culturally significant or didn't have a cultural impact, it might not have for you. Right.

Okay. Because, first of all, it shouldn't have. It impact. It might not have for you, okay? Because, first of all, it shouldn't have. It should have just been an enjoyable film, which I thought it was. But you can't deny all this. They came up with a term for how people reacted, like the withdrawal that they had from that movie. I mean, that's a fucking powerful impact.

Just because it didn't get you, just because you're a little fucking movie snob. Fedora wearing movie snob? Is this a... You know what I saw? I saw Foxcatcher. Oh, I've heard about that. Foxcatcher. Yeah.

It's in a lot of ways a very good movie. In a lot of ways a very good movie. Spoiler alert! Steve Carell knocks it out of the fucking park. What is his name? The beautiful handsome man? Of course you know fucking park. What is his name? The beautiful, handsome man? Of course you know his name. What's his name?

Channing Tatum. Oh, yeah. You know all the celebrity gossip. Outlet. Channing Tatum. He knocks it out of the park. Mark Ruffalo. Channing wears Nike.

Mark Ruffalo, who plays the Hulk in the Avengers movie. He plays the brother, David Schultz. And it's all based on a true story. A story that I'm very aware of because Mark Schultz actually fought in the UFC. Now here's the, I mean the movie's very good in some ways, but here's the issue that I had with it. Spoiler alert! Stop now if you don't want to go further. They fucked with the timeline

in the 1980s they showed the ufc on tv in 1988 they showed them watching the ufc talking about it like the ufc wasn't even invented until 1993 so why would you make a true story about real people and a really fucked up actual real life murder it's incredibly creepy movie in a lot of ways it's really well done but and then lie about the timeline by five years well rather than being anachronistic does it play as a more central point in the plot yes okay yes because at the end of it he winds up being a mixed martial arts fighter which is true but what's not true is in the movie they put him in against some random r guy, I think. They're like a white guy.

He didn't fight a white guy. He fought a black guy. He fought a guy named Big Daddy Goodrich. And Big Daddy Goodrich was the only MMA fight that Mark Schultz ever had. So to have the end of the movie having him about to fight a white guy, you guys just invented some shit. Why did you go with a white guy?

And then when they're watching the fight in 1988, which was actually taking place in 1993, it big daddy goodrich fighting paul herrera so like i don't know what the fuck they were doing when they were doing that like that is not just unnecessary but jarring and insulting in a way to anybody that's a mixed martial arts fan because if you're like me and you're like a historian in mixed martial arts and you watch that you go why are you doing that like you're dealing with a real Olympic gold medalist who was really involved in a real-life scenario where he had a real-life, crazy, super-rich guy shoot his brother. Like all those things are real.

It's a nutty story. When you add in a bunch of shit that I know is not real, it makes me question all the other stuff. Everything else, right. And I don't want to have to do research on this guy's entire life and find out how much of what you put in there was just total bullshit right but when they do that man when they just fuck with reality and put unnecessarily they change the timeline of these guys watching the usc by five fucking years that's so irresponsible it's just dumb it was a big part of this guy's

life mark schultz would have been the fucking ufc heavyweight champion of the. It was a big part of this guy's life. Mark Schultz would have been the fucking UFC heavyweight champion of the world. He was a phenomenal wrestler. He was one of a handful of Olympic gold medalists who fought in MMA, but he only fought once and dominated this guy who was a really tough guy. And everybody was wondering what could have happened with him, but then he went on to coach it. He was coaching at Brigham Young University, and they wouldn't let him fight in MMA.

They said if you fought in the UFC, you were going to null your contract. There was no money in the UFC back then, so he backed away. He could have been heavyweight champion of the world. He was just a fucking animal. Stud wrestler. Ridiculously strong. When you watch stuff like that in this movie about this guy's life, it makes me question the whole movie. I'm like,

what are you doing? Why are you changing reality? Why are you putting in some stuff like he fought a white guy he didn't fight he fought one guy ever his whole fucking life it's not like he had 100 mma fights you're creating a fictional opponent to move a plot line along it's not like the intern that was doing the research for that scene in the script you know had to cull through 500 matches and pick one to represent his career yeah and there was one it wasn't even in the ufc in the movie like the the

movie didn't show the uf The movie didn't show the UFC. It didn't show the octagon. It was like a cage, but it wasn't the UFC. It was like a generic fight promotion. It was a UFC, though. In real life. Yeah. And it was weird because they didn't even pick the oldest one.

They picked one from 1994. So it wasn't even 1993 UFC. It was a 1994. Oh, the one that he was watching on TV? Yeah. Yeah. When he fought Paul Herrera. When Big Daddy Goodrich fought Paul Herrera it's so stupid so they fucked with the timeline for no reason it's interesting because like that's a piece of knowledge that the average viewer is not

going to have most likely but it's it makes you wonder why they come I'm sure they compressed it for time right they wanted to plant the seed of why he's gonna watch this thing and become this thing and okay but to your point it does a huge disservice if it makes you question the legitimate legitimacy or the accuracy of everything else in the film in my opinion there was no reason for them to put it in the ufc at all like there's no reason for them to to show that part of his life it was only one fight that he had but what was really crazy was the fact this guy was an olympic gold medalist who you know it shows you how difficult it is for these guys to make money while they're training and how difficult it is to come up with sponsorship so when this really rich guy this john dupont came along and wanted to fund the

olympic team the olympic wrestling team they had to deal with this insane crazy guy that was like pretending to be a wrestler that was sort of financing this. Steve Carell knocks it out of the park, man. I heard people don't even realize it's him. They watch the movie and they leave not even realizing. He's so fucking creepy, man. He's so creepy. Did you see Birdman? No, I did not see Birdman.

Yeah, put that on the instant watch. Mark Schultz fought in the UFC four months after Dave was murdered. Holy shit. That's incredible. He fought in the UFC four months after his brother was murdered. That's just unbelievable.

Wow. And that all happened in 1996. Wow. Fuck. But I just don't understand why they make a movie about a real live situation that is insanely compelling and add some shit and fuck with timelines.

Do you think maybe UFC got paid or paid them to do that? It doesn't make any sense. A little bonus. That doesn't make any sense because they didn't have the UFC at the end. It wasn't UFC. It didn't show the... I mean, I think it was even round. I might be wrong about that.

But I remember looking at it like, that's the wrong size cage. I remember looking at the scenario like, this is not what it looked like when Mark Schultz stepped in the octagon. He fought in the UFC just before I started working there. I think he fought like, I want to say UFC 9, I think it is. And I came along in UFC 12. So it was just right before I got there. They weren't, you know, the way they had this set up, it was incorrect. It was smaller than it really is.

There was a lot of things that were weird about it. But the weirdest thing was that he was fighting a white guy. He fought one guy, ever. So at the end of the movie, why make it a white guy? Like, what the fuck are you doing? And not only that, they also didn't account for the fact that you're talking about like a six year time gap between them watching it in 1988 the murder and him uh getting starting fighting in the ufc like you just created this time dilemma that doesn't make any sense like how

did mark schultz age six years like that all of a a sudden, he's in the UFC. Because you can't deny when his debut is. You're going to deny the timeline of his actual fight. Well, if that fight was in 1996, this whole thing doesn't make any sense. This is stupid. Well, that's what, does it inherently change the story? No. It stinks of producer grease. Right.

You know, that someone, some executive type character wanted to get their greasy paws on. Let's have them sitting around watching the UFC or some screenwriter that doesn't respect the history of the sport. Like, can you imagine if they did that about baseball? If they made a movie that was Babe Ruth, but the timeline was five years off to when Babe Ruth was actually playing baseball, people would go fucking crazy.

They'd be, you fucking retards! Ruth didn't start playing until five years after your fucking piece of shit movie! You don't fucking know shit about baseball! You're a bunch of jock-riding Hollywood cocksuckers that are fucking with the American pastime! But if you have it about the UFC,

nobody gives a shit. So what? It's five years off It's six years off Whatever it is It's off You're off You don't have to

It doesn't have to be off But should I see the movie? It's a good movie Okay alright I'm in Fuck yeah it's a good movie Channing Tatum knocks out of the park He looks like a real wrestler too Like when he moves

He moves good Like the wrestling scenes Are not offensive at all They're good You know I mean there's certain like You watch like certain martial arts Sc there's certain like you watch like certain martial arts scenes and movies you're like get the fuck out of here

like this is so weak the kicks look fake everybody you could tell they're not really hitting each other they're not really punching each other full blast it's just hard to fake but they must have done a lot of really hard wrestling training because he moves real good like he hits he hits takedowns and positions he hits a very smooth. So either he wrestled at one point in his career, in his life rather, and he's like...

Drawing from that. Relearning those skills or he learned them for the movie. But either way, it's totally passable. It's never going to look 100% legit because it's a planned outcome. It's like it's planned that this guy's going to take this guy down.

So it always has this sort of stink about it whenever there's any sort of choreographed motions going on in a movie. So you could do a movie about pride, but not about UFC then. Well, even pride. You're trying to say pride was choreographed? Yeah. I'm sure there's been some choreographed fights in the UFC. In the early days, there were some fights.

Yeah. There was a Vitor Belfort fight that a lot of people thought was a work. Actually, that was actually pride. He fought the ghetto man, Joe Charles, and got him in a really quick armbar and a lot of people uh were shocked because they knew that joe charles trained with vitor you know and a lot of people like hmm i mean maybe did vitor decided not to punch him and maybe they made a sort of an agreement because like back then vitor was the motherfucker right you know he was he was really good and unusually good with his stand-up.

I mean, he's still really good. He's challenging for the title next month or in February, rather. So he's already, I mean, he's at the top of the food chain right now. But back then, see, right now there's a lot of good strikers. There's a lot of guys who have a lot of good hand techniques and good stand-up guys. But back then there was only a handful of them. And Vitor was at the top of that heap. Like, when Vitor came around, he was 19. Nobody had ever seen anybody with hand speed like his. When he fought Trey Telegman, that was his first fight in the UFC, he

stepped forward and everybody knew he was a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt, but he just unloads with these punches like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, these beautiful fucking lightning fast punches, and everybody's like, what the fuck? But he fought Joe Charles, just take him down, armbar. You know, and everybody's like, hmm fuck but he fought joe charles just take him down arm bar you know and everybody's like hmm and you think because they trained together there was

like a hey man don't bust up my face too much if you're gonna beat me do it but uh or or it could be that joe charles knew what the fuck was gonna go down said listen i know i can't beat you so let's just you know i'll give you this arm is my good arm. Don't bend it too much. The tap's coming. I will tap. You know me, brother. I will tap. And that's the thing.

A guy like Vitor is so nice. A lot of people think that that's how he lost to Jon Jones. He caught Jon Jones on a perfect arm bar. And he popped his elbow a bunch of times, but Jon never tapped. And Vitor even said that he relaxed his grip on it because he felt bad that he was breaking this guy's arm. Right. You know, like in a sense that he was taken aback and that he said that he should have held on to it. I believe that's what he said. I'm sorry.

I apologize if I was incorrect. But I was pretty sure in one of the interviews, he's a very nice guy. But, you know, with striking, you either hit a guy or you don't. You know, it's not a matter of holding a technique. Right. And he fucking hits people. That's going to be a really interesting fight't. It's not a matter of holding a technique. And he fucking hits people. That's going to be a really interesting fight. Who's he fighting?

He's fighting Chris Weidman for the middleweight title. But the point is, anyway, back to Fudge Catcher. Really good movie. Really good movie that Channing Tatum guy kills it. He even looks like Mark Schultz. He did something with his jaw where he juts his jaw forward while he's talking all the time. So he actually looks like the guy in a lot of ways.

You know, he looks different than he usually looks. And his wrestling was super respectable. And Mark Ruffalo was awesome. They both walked like wrestlers. They really did a really good job. And it's funny because, like, especially like Channing Tatum, he does a lot of funny movies, you know, doing a lot of silly movies. So it's weird to see him play this like super intense you know uh really dark kind of character in this movie and fucking carell's amazing man you don't even believe it's him that's

what i every review that i've read is like oh i had to wait for the credits to find out who that amazing actor was well they did makeup on him first of all they changed his face they gave him this weird nose it's fucking good dude i'm catching it you really buy it he's so good you really buy that he's just crazy someone was saying um ashton kutcher is doing i know this sounds like a setup to a joke but it's not yeah he's doing jujitsu and that he's done in the past and he's playing a role in some movie where whoever is training him says he's fucking phenomenal and he's really committed and he's gonna blow you away with his transformation. Well, he's a purple belt. He's a purple belt under Higa Machado, who is my, in jiu-jitsu we use the term master. Don't get crazy.

My master, Jean-Jacques Machado. That's the top of the heap. I have a black belt under Jean-Jacques Machado, and Jean-Jacques Machado gave Eddie Bravo his black belt, and I have a black belt under Eddie too. So the ultimate top guy of the food chain in our lineage is Jean-Jacques Machado. His brother, Higa, is also a bad motherfucker. And Hegan Machado gave Ashton Kutcher a purple belt.

If Hegan Machado gives you a purple belt, you're a fucking purple belt. He's not handing those out because of your IMDB score. It doesn't mean shit. You got to roll. And you got to roll with people. You can't. They don't just give you that. You have to spar.

There's martial arts where you don't spar on your way to getting belts right like like certain types of karate stuff right for like little kids and stuff but in jiu-jitsu you have to spar you just have to you know you there's no other way around it and you know you kind of go full blast and where they just evaluate your technique and situations and go okay yeah you did the right thing there so clearly you have a level of knowledge that is this color a guy like he, he can watch you roll in five minutes. He could probably figure out what you are. You might be a super athletic purple belt, but you make some mistakes.

And you might be a brown belt who's been around for a long time but doesn't have the athleticism to try to tap black belts, but you have a lot of knowledge. He could tell right away. Someone does certain, like set someone up, they try to do something, then the counter, they hit him with the counter, and then they tap a guy. You're like, oh, that's some slick shit.

And then you've got to see how many times can that guy do that. Did he get lucky this one time? And it's a matter of consistency of movement. But it's like chess if you could add pieces. Everybody says it's like human chess, sort of, but you might only have a couple of pieces. You might have a foot lock and a guillotine. Some guys only have one move, and they do it over and over and over and over and over again.

They're just so good at it, you can't stop that one move. That's a strategy that some guys employ. And there's a lot of guys that are like that that are essentially black belts. It's weird. They have all those other techniques, but this one they rely on all the time. Or you're a guy like an Eddie Bravo-type character that has 100 things he he could tap you with at any given moment he's just kind of practicing on you which is disturbing when someone's rolling with somebody else and they know that like a potential belt evaluation or is it like a test is on the line right i'm going into roll or is it just

it completely depends on the instructor okay different instructors do it different ways some instructors want to see you compete like in a test situation. They want to put you in front of the class and put a lot of pressure on you and see how you react. And some want to see you at your very best in a casual, relaxed environment where you're not nervous. And they want to see what was your actual skill level. And then see if you maintain that skill level when you get tested. So it completely depends on the style of teaching of the instructor. But instructors almost always will put you in a situation where there's like maybe they'll have four people roll and the other people stand. Like one of the things they'll do is they'll do drills where like you're on the ground. Like you have to go on your back and a guy, a new fresh guy gets on top of you for seven minutes and tries to tap you.

Don't keep your – keep in your pants. Sorry. And then if you tap that guy, you new fresh guy gets on top of you for seven minutes and tries to tap you. Don't keep your, keep in the air. Sorry. And then if you tap that guy, you get to stay. If he taps you, you have to go. Or if you guys stalemate, you both get out. Sometimes it's drills like that. So when he does something like that, he's evaluating how you perform under pressure, how you perform with a bunch of people.

So my point being, if Ashton Kutcher got a purple belt from Higa Machado, that shit's legit. No one gets fake purple belts. What does purple belt mean? It means a blue belt is dangerous. A guy who's got a blue belt can fuck the average person out. If they get in a situation where it turns into a grappling match, they're going to know things the average person doesn't know. Purple belt is a level where you should be able to tap blue belts fairly consistently. Really?

Yeah. So that's another level removed. you should be able to tap blue belts fairly consistently. Really? Yeah. So that's another level removed. And purple belts can oftentimes tap brown belts. I've seen purple belts get lucky and tap black belts. If they have one specific mood they're really good at, it's very possible. So a purple belt's dangerous. That's my point. They might not have all the knowledge, but they're dangerous enough.

So if Ashton Kutcher's a purple belt, that's goddamn impressive. I love that. I love hearing that. Handsome bastard. He's got everything going for him. Where is he on your list? Is he above Gosling? He's above his bed to the left.

Upper left. Channing Tatum is above in the shrine. The thumbtacks in the ceilings just holding those posters there. Jay-Z and Beyonce are together holding hands on his wall on one side. I know. Is it like stalagmmite stripping from the poster because you gooed so hard it just collects? Yeah, Miley Cyrus is pointing to his toothpaste jar

with a little poster of that on his wall. They're saying North Korea is suffering a complete internet outage right now. All four of the big pipes. I thought you were going to say all four computers. All four computers. What do you think they did? Do you think they just sent some fucking subs down there and shot some holes in the pipes?

Come on. I think Anonymous is fucking with them. For sure. But I mean, how much is the government hiding under Anonymous? Like, there's no way to know who's launching what. That's fucking beautiful. Just kink the hose. Can they do that?

Do you think they have a cutoff switch somewhere where they can just hit the switch like the government does? Yeah. I mean, look, just simple packet flooding when you have enough bandwidth where you call up Papa Comcast and Verizon, these backbone operators, and be like, hey, do me a favor. Let's redirect like 12 terabytes of bullshit to their front door right now, and that doorbell is just ringing until sparks are flying out, and the computers just can't crunch that information. They could do that all day long. Isn't it crazy that that's a strategy, that you can do crunch that information. They could do that all day long. Isn't it crazy that that's a strategy? That you can do that?

It's brute force. That's brute force. It's the same thing as just sending fucking straw men in there. What a goofy fucking system. If you could do that, you could do that.

Wait a minute, you could just send packets and just kill their server? But you could do that with anybody. I know. In any medium, you could get 50 people

to surround a human being and just scream at them. That's it. That's it. That's it. They just use Metallica to torture dudes in the CIA block sites. They were just blasting it at 75 decibels. But for a week, it makes you go fucking cuckoo. Makes you go loopy.

There was a guy who was doing this speech, and he was labeled a men's right advocate. So all these feminists got outside of the university hall where it was. I think it was University of Toronto. Not sure. I think it was that. And they screamed and yelled in the hall and then set off the fire alarms so that this guy could not. Couldn't give his speech. Give his speech.

Yeah. It turns out the guy wasn't even a men's rights advocate. The whole thing was like completely blown out. Like the thing they had like completely misappropriated or misquoted him on things. People just made up quotes, made up his positions. And then everybody got behind it and got super aggressive with it.

But it's like, it's kind of hilarious that that is the exact strategy. They all went around and went, nah, just, you can't talk about that. You're not allowed to. I don't know what you're going to say,

but whatever you're going to say, I don't think you should be allowed to say it. Yeah. You can't talk about that. You're not allowed to. I don't know what you're going to say, but whatever you're going to say, I don't think you should be allowed to say it. Yeah. You can't even say it. It's the backseat of the Aerostar van tactic where two brothers are fighting and the other just screams at one. It's, I don't care what you're saying. You're not being heard.

But the idea that you could step in and stop someone from talking, I mean, you would have to demonstrate that they were like a hate group or committing a crime and you can't with this guy like so like they just decided that this was what they were going to do and that's fascism like that's that's like that's really dangerous you're not that's everybody having a vote joe you know it's not kind of it's not i mean it's like those people you're interfering with those people's ability to listen to someone communicate because you don't even you don't even know what he's about to say. You have no knowledge of it whatsoever.

I agree with you. You're interfering with free speech. But from the perspective of those that are there going, wah, that's their free speech. No, they're deciding that they want to do that. That's their vote. They get to vote with their voice. Do you think so, though?

That's what they're thinking. Absolutely. But wait a minute. Then people can just shout you down all day? Sure. You don't think that that should be an issue? No, clearly it is. I mean, there's rules against that in certain areas. can be disorderly and removed you know university yeah university it's

ridiculous when people call in terrorist threats because a woman is giving a speech on feminism and video games or sexism and video games that's just as bad you just didn't have the balls to show up and scream at her yes you called in an anonymous threat any calling in of any anonymous threat it's fucking gross on whatever side. I mean, we could just say that anybody willing to do that is a piece of shit. These are bad people. Anybody who's doing that, whether it's real or not, whether they're trolling or not, like, come on.

That is not the way. The way is let them talk and expose the goofiness of what they're saying if there's some validity to your argument. And if there's no validity to your argument, consider what they're saying. Like, that's how human beings interact with each other. You don't call in death threats because some chick likes vaginas. She's on team vagina. She's, you know, I mean, that's her thing. She loves women.

She thinks that women should be better represented in video games. She's hashtag feminist. Like, who is it? What are you? Is that really affecting you? Is she stopping you from voting? Is she stopping you from buying gas? It's an assault on my male sensibilities, damn it. Come on, man. She's hashtag feminist. Is that really affecting you? Is she stopping you from voting? Is she stopping you from buying gas? It's an assault on my male sensibilities, damn it.

Come on, man. It's funny. It's fascinating. It's cute. They're trying to change video games. Laura Croft seemed pretty feminine to me. Sure. Pretty strong.

Sure. Big old titties. Big old gun. Flapping around. I liked it better when there were just like six polygons. It was just like aggressive triangles that could jab your eye eye this video game thing is very fascinating to me because on one hand i see it as like all these people resisting the radical left the radical left and their their ideas of what should and shouldn't be acceptable in our culture and on the other hand

i see it as a bunch of fucking babies that are freaking out and getting crazy about some people's opinions that don't even matter. I get the old ethics in video games thing. There's definitely a point in that, but it seems to have branched out way further than that. Well, it got co-opted immediately, and now there's no— Who knows what it is, right? The original argument, I believe, was not so much about that. It was actually about ethics in video game journalism. Right.

They were trying to prove that these blogs were, you know, getting paid or colluding with each other. Or banging the same chick. Exactly. It all came down to that. But, and there's a valid gripe there. There's a valid argument.

But the movement was so quickly co-opted. And we see, you know, you and I yapped about Occupy at length. And that was a, that was in many cases, a physical manifestation. That was a physical movement. That is much harder to co-opt, but

you can expertly do that, as we saw, pretty easily. When it's a digital movement, when it can be usernames, and there's astroturfing, or there's members of a group claiming that they're acting on behalf of the entire hashtag, you're co-opted overnight. So it didn't hold water. We're seeing that go on in Ferguson.

We saw the undercover cops in Oakland that were in the Eric Gardner protest. They were pointing guns at people. They were pointing cameras at them. You're going to see those sort of agent provocateurs whenever you have some sort of a large-scale movement. And if it's beneficial for them to incite some sort of action that will allow them to bring cops in, like a loophole in the law, like smash a few windows. Oh, they smashed windows too. Move the cops in. Boom. Start in the law like smash a few windows right oh they smash windows to move the cops in boom start arresting people who was who was smashing those windows i fucking saw everybody throwing rocks arrest them all zip ties yep all around i mean

that shit happens so if that shit happens with the police wouldn't you assume the two people that are going at it whether it's the left or the right whether it's the gamers or the game regators or the fucking feminists or the men's rights advocates, everybody's playing dirty. There's a lot of people with troll accounts. There's people that are pretending to get death threats, and they don't. There's people that are sending real death threats.

They're cunts. There's men that are pretending to get death threats from the feminists that are fake. There's all sorts of fuckery going on. Anyone's involved. I'm on a fucking mission. I'm a part of a group. I'm a caterer right not your shield you fucks and it's like it becomes like a part of your life it becomes something you're excited to hashtag right and then agree with all these other people that are hashtagging that are going after that fucking

feminist bitch she's trying to ruin my games like is she or is she just saying she doesn't like them i mean what power does she have? She's got a fucking YouTube channel. She's not stopping any video games from being made. She's not going to keep you from buying them. You know how much fucking money is in World of Warcraft or Call of Duty? Do you really think that they're going to let some chick who's got a YouTube page, that's going to change anything about these games that you love?

No. She's saying she thinks they're a part of the male patriarchy and they're fucking horrible uh toxic masculinity examples like so what let her talk keep playing why get offline why not stay online and play and why worry about does she have any power is she a congresswoman is she running for president right what the fuck man oh you're mad that a bunch of people agree with her. What are you, crazy? You want to get in arguments with people that you don't agree with and you don't even know?

Right. You want to get in the middle of them and just start duking it out back and forth? How dare someone say a single remotely disparaging or critical thing about the only pastime that I have. Or my favorite pastime, you know? Communism. Exactly. Shout it down. Fucking shut it down.

Do we love that? Because I feel like, look, shutting off the internet to an entire country, to a society, if North Korea's blacked out because we flipped the switch, we fired up the low-orbiting ion cannon and blasted their internet out,

that can be dangerous. In most cases, that can be very dangerous and detrimental to an entire population. But in the case of North Korea, where I doubt that the average citizen has access to any semblance of the real internet you know they're i mean they're eating salt from their minds right now it's not like they're they're popular so rude rely racist um sure uh yes i am

thank you whoa don't say that they'll take that and they'll put it in quotes and you'll be in trouble they won't well yes but they would do that anyways over there on their propaganda posters. No, the tweeters, people on Twitter, they're going to misrepresent you. If North Korea takes me out of context, there's worse battles that I have to fight today. This is what I think we should do. Buy it. Do you think this is harming average Joes in North Korea? I think they're fucksville.

If I'm paying attention to the government propaganda, which I am, I think they're fucksville. If you listen to anybody that survived those horrible prison camps, and if any of those stories are even remotely true, even if 10% of it is true, those people are fucked over there. Right. I think we should buy North Korea. We should go, how much do you guys want for this whole place? Just go in there and buy it.

I bet it'd be surprisingly cheap. It sucks. Sure. How much could it cost? Seriously, how much could North Korea cost? If we just went in and bought the whole country, bought the whole government, said, listen, we're going to just buy you guys. How much would the world have to chip in for the world buys North Korea and has a...

Just a Kickstarter. This would be our first global democratic society. It'll be North Korea. We just clean the whole place up. Everybody, you get some money, scatter out across the four corners of the world Four kingdoms go wherever you want, but we we own North Korea now She got a we would lose such a good boogeyman. There's such a good boogeyman to have because they do have a new boogeyman Mike Myers, that's what I am. Oh, that was on Saturday Night Live. Yeah, Dr. Evil evil

Yeah, like called out King Jong or whatever and This was recently? Yeah, this was Friday. And he actually pulled some good punches. It was good. It was a good roast, a little baby roast. You mean he hit him with some good punches? Yeah, he didn't pull him. Yeah, pulling means pulled off some good cuts. Pulled off some good punches.

That's funny, man. I think that this is a weird time to have a guy in this day and age that is an actual real dictator. What? Hitler style. And how old is he again isn't he like fucking young 30 or 29 or some shit yeah he's pouting around with dennis rodman i mean what is that does dennis rodman speak korean or does he speak english he speaks the universal language universal language of the slam he can that man dunks and that's all it was

it's more of a rebounder but i see what you're saying you get what i'm saying it's a sportsman's analogy i love athletic games. I love all sports teams and sporting events and score points. I think you're being sarcastic. What are you talking about? I love the down touchings. You like your video games. I fucking love my video games, man.

I love them. I know you do, but do you like athletic events? I love them. Do you? Yeah, absolutely. Do you play Madden? Do you play Madden football? No, it's funny.

The virtual manifestation of a physical activity is always odd to me. Sort of. Madden looks pretty dope, though. No, no, no. It's great. It's a great game. But for me, it's like, oh, I love football. I would go play...

I would go and throw a football around. Well, you're that kind of guy. You're a get out and do it kind of guy. Sometimes, yeah. Absolutely. Dust off your cowboy boots and get back on the horse kind of guy. Shit, yeah. A fucking little piece of straw, like a wheat.

A little piece of wheat hanging out of the corner of your mouth. Constant spittoon. Ding. What are those dudes walking around with wheat sticking out of the corner of their mouth? What are you doing stupid? That's not- Tasting the earth.

That doesn't taste good. Reminding themselves. A piece of wheat you're chewing on like an asshole. That's so Avatar, man. They're getting in touch with their earth. Is that what it is? Hmm. But it's genetically modified Monsanto wheat.

Right. You're getting some weird pesticides into your system, son. It's getting bad. It's like little nicotine sticks that you're chewing coming out of the ground. Avatar depression. My fracking rod. I like to chew on it, get some residual chemical goo.

Have you heard of any movie ever where they associated a depression to withdraw from the reality that's in that movie, other than Avatar? Do you think, though, this whole depression thing was just marketing from the reality that's in that movie other than avatar do you think though this whole depression thing was just marketing from the movie Because I mean that my girlfriend that's all she does all day is make bullshit articles to promote shit like totally Right we created a hashtag avatar depression right I would got 20 fake accounts to retweet it

That would be the case except for the fact that I saw a furry convention. One time I was in Philadelphia, or Pittsburgh rather, just completely randomly were there for the UFC, and it happened to be a furry convention. And looking around at all those people that are wearing all these costumes and running around hugging each other and dancing together, I'm like, fucking anything's possible. It's all possible. Anything. Si se puede. We can put on a silver fox suit and fuck each other and dancing together I'm like fucking everything anything's possible it's all possible

anything si se puede we can put on a silver fox suit and fuck each other yeah anything is possible my friends there's a lot of goddamn people

that are just different I'll never like it was year three G4 was covering Comic Con and all the like the director called up all the crew and was like

you gotta get up here right away get up here and they came up and they peeled back the curtains and he's like look and then the tower across the way full-on fucking furry orgy with you know chicks with their fox ears pressed against the glass and they were all fucking in a row just on display and i was like bless you comic-con bless you and whatever babies are gonna pop out of there

yeah i love when dorks get together like that i think it's awesome i was thinking that the other day because i was thinking like how much I love like a good comic book movie. Like a good Avengers movie. Do you love Guardians of the Galaxy? Yes. Yeah.

Fucking great. Yeah. It's really good. Very interesting. I loved what we were talking about earlier. The Watchmen. I loved that.

Big Avengers fan. You know, I think those movies are fun. I just, they're fun to me. They fill some sort of a childish need for exciting things. So when I see a whole convention, like a Comic-Con convention, where people

in their 40s can unabashedly talk about how much they love the Hulk. Right. In a judgment-free zone. The only judgment comes from someone who thinks they like Hulk more than you and wants to catch you on a piece of information that's slightly wrong. Someone who has more Ghost Rider trivia than you do.

I got the tats, man, to prove it. I got Nick Cage on my inner thigh. Oh, there has to be a guy who has all Ghost Rider tattoos. I would guess. You know it. Pull that up. Man with Ghost Rider tattoos. Let's just have a random wild Google search.

Man with Ghost Rider tattoos. I know there's a dude. How about Ghost Rider tattoo? Because I bet there's some women that have a Nick Cage tram stamp. Yeah, I want to see Ben Affleck daredevil tattoo. Someone went all in on that when it was announced. There will be somebody. Yeah.

There's a lot of images of gross riot tattoos. There's the bike. Look at the bike on the back. He's chasing Aladdin or something. He's chasing the demon in the bottle. Did you see the skull Abraham Lincoln one at the top? I know it's a little unrelated, but did you see that? What the fuck?

It's like decomposing Lincoln. People are creepy. What's wrong with you? That looks like Alfred E. Newman Why worry about the theater? Why would anybody do that to Lincoln? Asshole There's a lot of Ghost Rider tattoos

Holy shit Zombie Lincoln would be sweet Dude, I saw some Someone posted a link to On Twitter yesterday To 3D tattoos Like Are they based off the perspective?

Yeah, if you find the link There's like the did to 3D tattoos. Are they based off the perspective? Yeah, if you find the link, there's like the top 11 3D tattoos. And they had these, just like what they're doing now with like shading and colors to try to trick your mind into thinking things are three-dimensional. You're like, what?

I really want to see them in real life. Well, that's the thing. From the camera angle, it looks like their arm is collapsing. But from the right side, it looks like you got a giant droopy black nothing going down your arm you know that's awesome look at that but that's we're looking at spider-man like a spider-man logo through a guy's torn chest that's amazing how good that looks yeah but there's there's a gang of those dude i wonder if there's some practical makeup going on with that too like he

has to shade that in the morning. Look at that butterfly. Fuck. Yeah. Have you seen street art that's like this? The big chalk art? Yeah. Those guys are- But that's, again, that's all perspective stuff. So it's like from that one angle, that butterfly looks awesome.

But from the side, it looks like you have a mole, a giant butterfly shaped mole beneath your chest. Oh, click on that lady. Oh my God. That's nuts. That is so crazy. Yeah. Can you imagine dating a girl like that though and having to see that when you're trying to fuck her? How about coming on that lady. Oh my God. That's nuts. That is so crazy. Yeah. Can you imagine dating

a girl like that though and having to see that when you're trying to fuck her? How about coming on that? That's right, yeah. A little coming right in that thing's eye. A little visine for your chest.

Whoa, she's got a lot. Look at that. She's got like fairy things. Look at that tongue too. Dude, up in the left. Up to the left. I don't think that's real. Look at that.

Look at her eye. Click on that. What the fuck, man? She's got some flower petals coming out. Look at that. Look at her eye. Click on that. What the fuck, man? She got some flower petals coming out of her. She grew flower petals below her eyeball. Is that a tattoo or is that makeup? That's not even a real eyeball. Oh, my God.

That's amazing. That's pretty good. Look at that eye on that guy's hand. Ah, shit. Holy shit, man. I put a creepy baby on your arm. That's pretty sweet. Some guy had a three-dimensional map

on his back with like a sextant over it. Oh my God. Look at that. That's so crazy. A cat living on her side. A Cheshire cat

peeking out of the side of a rib cage. The eyeballs are amazing. Look, I got a lawyer for you. That's dumb. Imagine if the lighter guy meets the Cheshire Cat girl. She's like, I just can't respect your ink.

Oh my god, that's great. That's dope. It's like I got a sweet 3D natty ice can on my abs. That's the object you went to make 3D? There's some serious fucking tattoo artists these days. Oh, neck eyeball. You can't see it unless he does that.

That's cool. You would know something's there. You're like, what's going on down there? This guy has an eyeball. Oh my god, no, she didn't do that. Why would she do that? No, she didn't do that. That's gotta be paint or something. Is it paint or is it real? What does it say? Oh my god, it is real.

Just because the file name is Face 3D Tattoo. It's confirmed. It says FaceTattoo.jpg. Oh my God. That might be real shit if it is. Hit random. Let's see what else pops up on this fucking site. I guarantee you that someone's done that.

Oh, I'm sure. Just because it looks like a normal girl. That's what's freaking you out. I bet that with some subdermal implants going on, you could really fuck some shit up. You could really make sure you never get a job at a bank. Yeah, subdermal implants. Oh, my God.

That guy got Converse put on his feet forever. That's strange. Get Converse, bro. How weird. Oh, look at this. No tattoos for Kevin Pereira? How about super creative on your back? Oh, it'll be there.

And like Gladiator logo? Super creative? I'm all right with that. I want to get someone to make it in like sacred geometry. That's what I want now. I want that. What if you do that and you fucking call Satan? What if you didn't know?

If I get that in me and use a Ouija board at the same time, then the demon corridor is open? Yeah, he fucks up like one rune. Just changes it. Should have pointed left, points right. Satan's like, you called, bitch! Dude, what? That's my sign, bro. You called me, bro. Is he suing me for copyright infringement? For trademark infringement? Turns you into the Ghost, you called, bitch. Dude, what? That's my sign, bro. You called me, bro.

Is he suing me for copyright infringement? For trademark infringement? Turns you into the Ghost Rider. Oh, yeah. You gotta live your life for the rest of your life flying around. Apparently, Nicolas Cage did a new movie, a new super religious movie, a version of the Left Behind series. Oh, really?

Left Behind movies. Vaguely familiar. I haven't seen the movies. Kurt Cameron did them. Right. I have VHS copies of them Because they're wonderful They're fucking hilarious

It's about the rapture Exactly Yeah Exactly And the books Are hugely popular Christian books I mean

They've sold millions of copies Right And it's the plot point It's fucking hilarious It's just You know Jesus comes Takes everybody to heaven

And everybody's like, what happened? That's the movie I guess we're all sinners? We're all assholes here? We're stuck here? Everybody else went to heaven? Yeah, yeah, they're in heaven Aliens came down and ate them, you fucking idiots They ate all the lemmings They were willing to get on the spaceship

Jesus sent the spaceship for you I knew it, I fucking knew it, you fags. I'm fucking going to heaven. You fucking queers and all your gay marriage. Good luck. Good luck. You're going to burn in hell.

I'm going to be feasting at the garden right next to St. Pete. We're going to be in flowing robes. And now it confirmed all my animals are going to be there. All my animals, all dogs really do go to heaven.

All your parents, friends, all your friends friends all your friends that died in drunk accidents they didn't know any better sure god took them in they're all going to be in heaven waiting for you it's going to be amazing every day is going to be super bowl sunday every day i love that like once you're up there though like all bets are off because you made it to heaven and there's no you don't really get booted out of heaven, right? Forgiveness is sort of the, that's like the, that's the motto there.

That's the MO. So I bet you just repress the gayness enough so that when you get raptured, then you just suck in all the dicks on clouds. No, that's not how it works. I think that's exactly how it works.

You can't go to heaven if you got all that gay in your heart. That's forgiven. No. You're forgiven. No, you have to get rid of the gay. Oh, you have to pray it away

before you get on the spaceship? Exactly. You got to pray the gay away. I got it. You're forgiven. No, you have to get rid of the gay. Oh, you have to pray it away before you get on the spaceship? Exactly. You got to pray the gay away. I got it. You got to pray it away. Or, you know, you can't have it in your head. That's the whole idea. When they do get to heaven, they just hang out, right?

Yeah, what the fuck do you do up there? You know what no one ever adequately explained to me? No one ever explained to me what happened after Jesus came back from the dead. Did he die of old age? Well, how come he's not still around? Like, he came back to me. What did they not? No one ever explained to me what happened after Jesus came back from the dead. Did he die of old age? Well, how come he's not still around? Like, he came back to life, right? He was dead for three days, came back to life, freaked everybody out. They all wrote about it.

Right. And then what? Where is he now? Where was he then? He didn't do anything. Like, there's no great stories. Like, and then he stopped all the wars, and then he fed all the poor people. Right.

And then he decided that he was going to educate people on what his dad, and then everyone's going to believe him because he came back from the dead, and he's going to live for 100 years and change society. No, no, no. That sequel to the Bible doesn't exist? I'm back, bitches. No one's done that? I'm back, and I'm gone again.

He just came back from the dead. Ta-da, releases doves, and then poof, disappears. In a way, it's a lot like the Adam and Eve story. It's like a cursory examination of the facts in the story. If you were on the first 48 and if you were

one of those officers that sat down across from the person, he'd be like, okay, let me get this straight. So what you're telling me is that all the people

came from a guy named Adam and his wife named Eve. So they had sex and they made kids and then I guess they just started

fucking their kids or their kids started fucking each other or everybody just fucked each other. They had to. It was the only way you can make people is people have to have sex with each other. Is that what you're trying to tell me?

And the guy on the other side would be like, I need to talk to my lawyer. I hope that's season two of Serial. I hope that's the entire examination. That would be exactly what would happen. They would come in and go, okay, well, let's just draw this. We're going to draw this out.

Let's start with the chart here. And figures. This is a male figure in one of those bathrooms where you have the bathroom icon with a girl with the skirt. Sure. And then the guy with the skirt. This is dad. This is mom. So dad and mom fuck and they have kids. And who starts fucking first?

Does the son fuck the mom? Wasn't it made of his bone? Wasn't that part? Or Adam was made from a bone. Someone was made from a rib cage, right? A piece of a rib? Adam was made from a bone? Someone was made from a rib, right? A piece of a rib? Eve was made from the rib of Adam. Eve was made from the rib. Okay. And Eve, of course, always blaming on chicks.

Eve gave in to that snake. Oh, sure. That's what fucked us up. Did you imagine the idea that one chick, back when you couldn't even read, no one had a cell phone, there was no internet and no cars, no planes, no fucking television. Right. This one chick fucked it up for everybody for all eternity. What a convenient way to blame one person and one gender for everything that we've ever done.

I want to believe that the lapel footage of her grabbing that apple and taking a bite would be on Worldstar. Oh, shit! She's eating that apple! Oh, fuck! Worldstar! taking a bite would be on world star oh shit oh fuck world star no world star would be when adam found her eating apple and started beating her that would be on world star this is forever when were you allowed this mistake is forever are you allowed to beat your wife in the bible is that legal yeah it's legal in the quran right depends on what she does right domestic violence which which uh is the Bible allowed? I know there's certain Muslim...

Depends on which revision I think you're going with. There's certain Muslim texts that have alluded to the idea that a man should be able to beat his wife, right? Right. Is that true? Am I making this up? Let's see. No, I think so.

It's all of your interpretation. Okay, let's look up. You're allowed to beat slaves in certain parts of the Bible. Like, that's for sure. You're allowed to own and reprimand your slaves. Are you allowed to reprimand them? Yeah.

You're allowed to come and marry Madeline or whatever her name was. You're not allowed to come on her. She's just, like, got pregnant magically. That was how it went down. Cover up.

Yeah. Cover up. Does Islam allow wife breeding? Okay. This isn't an actual Islam website. Is this on Snopes? It's a Islamic website. No.

Some husbands are violent. They say that the Quran allows them to beat their wives. Is there any logical explanation given regarding men being allowed to beat their wives as stated in, I don't want to butcher this, Surat an-Nisa, N-I-S-S-A. No, you nailed it. Verse 34. want to butcher this sirat on nisa n-i-s-s-a no you nailed it verse 34 in the name of allah most gracious most merciful all praise and thanks are due to allah and peace and blessings be upon his messenger okay trying to find out about wife beaten i don't know it doesn't make any sense

yeah same thing with the honor killings. Some people will quote certain passages and say, well, you're allowed, as long as your honor was offended, you're allowed to kill somebody. But someone else will quote another passage and say, no, all murder is wrong. It says it right there in some chapter. Yeah, this doesn't make any sense, but there's different... A religion?

The president of the Islamic Society of North America states, according to the Quran, the relationship between the husband and the wife should be based on mutual love and kindness. Allah says, and among his signs is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them. And he has put love and mercy between your hearts, verily in that are signs for those who reflect. See, that's the problem, man. Whenever you're reading old shit, they write it like that. Okay, what the fuck did I just say? Whenever you're reading a tweet,

it could be that confusing. This is the thing that they're trying. Right, exactly. Yeah, right? This is the statement that they're trying... Right, exactly. Yeah, right? Yeah. This is the statement that they're trying to conceive as being said that it allows wife beating. Right. You notice they still use that language, yes, in IRS,

but also in, like, talent contracts? In court. Yeah, anything legal. Anytime someone's trying to fuck you or trying to preclude you from fucking them somehow, it's always verily in perpetuity and the verisimilitude of the ancillary

spinoff of the CPM of the, what the fuck are you trying to say to me? Yeah, that, that I just read, that is what they're using. They're saying that

on its surface meaning taking it to allow wife beating. That statement that I just said. Sure. What the fuck? What does that even mean?

And among his signs is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquility with them. And he has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. How is that wife beating? What the fuck does that even mean? So like when you read old shit like this, like really ancient scripts, it's very difficult to figure out what the hell they were saying. Sure. And this is just a translation. I mean, you understand it in the language that's being spoken.

It's a completely different statement, I'm sure. They literally don't have, in some languages, they don't have words for the thing that you're saying or describing. There is literally no word for it so right there your translation or your interpretation is broken well my friend steve lived in hong kong for a while and he spoke chinese he learned chinese and one of the things that he said was that one of the things that people misconstrue about chinese people when they speak english is that they're rude but their language is much more direct. They don't speak in the past. They're just doing. You know, you have dog.

You know, like, do you have a dog? Have you had a dog? They don't have those. You have dog. They're like, say it. Right. And that's how they communicate with each other. Which is a statement or a question.

You'll figure that out from the context. Yeah, it's really interesting to hear him explain why there's so many misconceptions about the way Chinese people communicate with English. Because their language is so different. It's confusing as fuck. Like, to grasp the subtleties of our language. They don't exist culturally in their language. So I'm like, I was trying to get him to explain to me, like, how would you say, I used to play the fiddle? How would you say that?

You know, I don't think you say it. You say, I play fiddle. I play fiddle that? You know, I don't think you say it. You say, I play fiddle. I play fiddle not. You know, I play fiddle not now. You know, I don't know how the fuck you would say it, but you can't say the way we think you would say it. So when they translate Chinese to English, it's like, you know, you go now.

You get out of here. Right. It's weird. It's a weird Sort of cultural disconnect Sure That's with this shit too man That's why in 17 years from now We're all speaking emoji

That's all it's gonna be Dude That's all it's gonna be We're not talking It's not gonna be that at all We're not talking right We're just gonna be beaming thoughts Yeah we're gonna be doing

Thoughts as well Someone's gonna be on The Google protocol And you're gonna have The Windows one Or whatever And your Android Is gonna mix the message

That comes over to my iMessage I think it's gonna be Just like a QWERTY keyboard. It's universal, even if it's not the best. We're going to figure out one, and it's going to be universal. Someone's going to run, what is it, Dvorak? Someone's going to run some other shit, some Linux distro, and be like, I think differently, man.

Have you ever used a Dvorak keyboard? Have you ever used one of those? No, I tried for like a week, but I was so, I was raised on the QWERTY and the WASDs that I could not adjust to it. For people who have no idea what the fuck we're talking about, the reason why your keyboard is set up the way it is where it says QWERTY on the top is not because it's the most efficient way. It's because back when they had like a real typewriter, where you pressed a button and a gear moved and a thing, a hammer came down.

A mechanical stamp went and left its mark on paper yeah and they had a like a ink ribbon ribbon yeah punch the ribbon down back when that was going on you couldn't do it too fast because if you did they would get all mashed up together my grandfather had a typewriter and it would always get mashed up and you would have to go in there and unpeel right a little fucker's little arms He tried to play a chord on it. Yeah, it was all super mechanical. And so they devised this positioning to actually make it more difficult to do it fast. Like, this is not the most efficient way.

This is the most efficient way to keep the common... Is that the case? Yes. To keep the commonly used letters away from each other so they don't smash into each other. Because if the commonly used letters away from each other. So they don't smash into each other. Because if the commonly used letters were right next to each other, it would be easier to do. You'd be doing it faster. And they'd be smashing against each other and getting stuck all the time.

See, that's fascinating. I always thought it was arranged that way. A, due to technical limitations and have to place letters in certain areas. But B, I thought they were grouped by usage in terms of words and phrases so that your hands could easily reach the things. I'm pretty sure. That's what I assumed. So if you've read an ounce on it, then you'd have more knowledge on it than I.

I'm pretty sure I'm right about this. And the Dvorak keyboard, is that what you're saying? Isn't that the layout? I think it is, yeah. Isn't Dvorak the guy from Tech TV? John Dvorak. Okay, well, he created a great keyboard layout. And I'm sorry G4 bought him and ruined him. I get it, Reddit.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's like me when I hosted the Man Show. You'll never live it down. Right, no. No, it's all good. I'm going to bring it back, though, and I'm going to do it right. You do that, boy.

You go. I'm going to. But I've never met anybody that's used that other keyboard. No. There was a time, like when I was 12 or 13 years old, there was a keyboard that came out that could be positioned on your thighs or on your – like the handles of your chair or whatever, and you placed your fingers physically into these like little holes,

and up would be F, down would be D, left would be this, right would be that or whatever, and then you had shift commands, whatever, and basically they could put exponentially more keys mathematically speaking within just a finger movement nobody wanted to be trained on this new system but the handful of guys that developed this or whatever there's videos of them putting their hands into this thing and just just doing little fucking street fighter combos and just spitting words onto the thing because there's no travel time. You can just tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

Wow, that was... Do it that way. Fucking awesome. That would have to be so weird to go back and forth from that to a regular keyboard for a laptop. To a regular keyboard. No, I mean, sure.

But imagine putting that into gloves then and just you could do that anywhere. I love that shit. This guy on recently, Zoltan Istvan, who's a futurist. A fortune teller in a box. No, no, no. He's actually a smart guy.

He's in big. He's one of the guys from the, what is the word they use? Singularity University. Singularity University. They're all trying to get a handle on transhumanism and what us all mean. Okay. But he was saying that he believes within 20 years, the written language and the spoken

language will all go away and it'll all be done back and forth through like headsets. These headsets, this ability they've found to transmit a thought, an actual thought telepathically through the internet, that's going to be like standard technology in 20 years. We're all going to just use that. Can you imagine? We like sit here and we're talking inside of each other why would we sit here why would we even sit here we'll just connect remotely we'll have a mind skype it's fun to like skype while you're looking at somebody yeah but i'll be able to show you what i look like i'll

be able to project that image into your head and someone else will be able to connect to our shared image it's true and they won't be able to contribute contribute to it there will be moderation what about the human touch, Kevin Pereira? We'll synthesize that as well. The touch is great, but if you can have fucking demolition man sex, that's going to be even more real. I'm going to be able to mind fuck you.

That's coming, right? Oh, absolutely. Virtual realities. VR is happening, and look, you could train, just with electromagnetic, just with the helmets that you strap on that read the electrical stimulation,

you could sit down today with off-the-shelf technology and train a computer. When I think the letter F, this is what fires off in my brain. I'm going to think F, F, F, over and over again. I'm going to visualize pictures of F.

And you could roughly train a computer to understand when these synapses fire off, this is what I'm thinking about. That exists today. That exists right now. That exists today. Yeah. That exists right now. That technology is going to get miniaturized. It's going to get flushed out.

They're going to have 100,000 people contribute their brain scans to some Google project. So right out of the box, it's going to have an averaging of what most human brains think of when they think horse or F or the combination of those two, which sounds sexual.

And out of the box, you'll pop it on. And it's going to, well, to a lot of people, Joe, again, let's not judge. Horse and fuck? I said F. I didn't say fuck. So out of the box, 10% of whatever is going to work. It's going to have Siri-like accuracy with this little fucking beanie that you're going to put on. And that's going to happen in, what, seven years?

Ten years? Seven. Yeah, if we don't blow ourselves up, we're going to get hit by a meteor or a super volcano or earthquake. For sure, we're going to have some mind-bending stuff in just a few years. It's really weird to just think about the possibilities. It's going to change what we feel is important

and not important. I think it's going to redefine how we even think about other people. We're going to be so much closer to each other. It's going to be very strange. It's also interesting even think about other people right we're going to be so much closer to each other it's going to be very strange it's also interesting to think about like the the process of thought to transmitting into any sort of medium to conversation to typing to whatever there's a barrier there right there's a there's a time that lapses where you some people don't but most formulate a thought they work through it how do i want to say this how do i want to express this

what's that going to be when that shit is just firing raw in your brain, will we have to like form the thought and then go, okay, send like a tweet? Will we have that? Or will it just be raw fucking data coming out? Like how is that conversation going, right? How is that conversation? We're going to have to handshake like old modems

and be like, Joe, I want to tap into your brain. You give me permission, okay? Now we have this mental chat room. People are going to be mad if you say no. Right? Why won't you let me tap into your brain, right i'm a fan i'm a fan i loved you on remote control dude fucking i'm a nerdist fan bro you're like no no that's not me that's not even me that's a different guy no no bro bro bro you're the fucking the guy you're the tosh guy i love your yeah dude it's gonna happen Were you given a time cue

or were you wanting a high five? High five, bro. God damn it. We're out of time. We went through three hours of nonsense. That was three? Three fucking hours.

I didn't get to tell you about G4 or Ayahuasca or anything. We can do another one. Next time. You live in LA, man. No, I miss you. I miss you, man.

I miss you, too. No, I really do. And I'll tell you, as much as it was smoke-blowy, and I miss you, too, by the way. Oh, sweet. As much as it might sound like the billowing of smoke through an asshole, it was really amazing and beautiful to see how you doing what you do

directly affected the lives for the better of so many people in such a ballsy, drastic way. It's an easy undertaking. Let's not get carried away. You met 20 freaks in a fucking jungle resort. Okay? I deal with extremes. Alright?

I deal with extremists, crazy people, people willing to go to the jungle and drink their fucking vile tea. Disagree. They're fucking nuts. I think you enabled people

to explore extremes and push themselves into places that would normally be off limits and uncomfortable and to be quite honest saved people's lives. I saw people

who literally said this was a last resort if i don't feel any better after this i'm done i'm punching out well that's beautiful and these are people drawn there because of your podcast so thank you on behalf of them i told them i would relay that and it was important to me to do that so nice of you to do that but it's easy as fuck and i don't deserve shit and all of you would do the same thing if you're in the situation that i'm in all of you would express yourself in a way if you had the freedoms that i have 99 of all people who lived my life would do exactly what i'm doing it's not that hard man just have conversations about shit that's already out there that is

especially when it comes to psychedelics things that could really change people's lives, and everyone's treating them as if they're frivolous nonsense. Everyone's treating them as, yeah, man, we took some ass and we got fucked up. I don't call it drugs anymore. I purposely have changed that. What do you call it? It's a plant medicine.

Oh, you're getting all hippie. You're going to lose a lot of the right-wing people. Oh, yeah. You're going to lose a lot of the Republicans. Oh, man, I'm bummed they're not going to be using my Squarespace discount code anymore. All those fucking Tea Party members listening to me. Plant medicine.

Satnam. Psychedelic drugs. It's okay to say drugs. Don't be scared of drugs. That's why you go to the drugstore, folks. That's why there's so many drugstores. You go there to get medicine. The word drug is a confused word.

Correct. It's a fucked up word. Which is why I'm trying to avoid it because I think it starts a conversation on unequal footing. Dude, guess what's in this mug? What is in that mug? Caveman coffee. You know what caveman coffee is? Please tell me everything about it.

Drugs. It's drugs. It's caffeine. I had the biggest withdrawal of caffeine when I was in Peru. The biggest headache I got was because I couldn't drink coffee for three fucking days. Wow. Yeah, it wasn't the ayahuasca. It wasn't the huachuma.

It was the fucking Folgers. That didn't knock it out of wasn't the ayahuasca. It wasn't the huachuma. It was the fucking Folgers. That didn't knock it out of you? The ayahuasca didn't knock it out of you? You still wanted coffee? Oh, no. I mean, after the first one, it was. I mean, migraine leading up to it, because I'd been off of it for two or three days.

And then after the ayahuasca happened, who could give a fuck about caffeine? That's child's play. That's a wiffle bat to my soul. Right. But aren't you supposed to not take coffee like days leading up to the ayahu Right. But aren't you supposed to not take coffee like days leading up to the ayahuasca ceremonies? Correct. Yeah.

And you drank anyway? You're not supposed to do it some say 48, some say 72 hours before. So I was off of it for over 72 hours. Oh, so that's why it was the three days. Correct. You would, oh. Yeah, and no sugar, no salt, no any of that. I mean, you've had that conversation with others, but next time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, next time for sure. Yeah. Kevin Pereira.

Thank you so much, my friend. Joe Rogan, thank you, man. It's always good to have you on here. Congrats on all of the success. Brian, it was good to see you. Yeah, next time for sure. Kevin Pereira. Thank you so much, my friend. Thank you, man. It's always good to have you on here. Congrats on all of the success. Brian, it was good to see you. Congrats on all yours, too. I mean, I want to go outlet shopping anytime.

Outlet shopping. He'll talk to you about celebrities only. That's what he talks about. Jamie gave us some great advice on helping our podcast studio along as well. So thank you for that. My friends, this show is over. You need more pastels.

Everybody for tuning in. January 2nd, I am at the Mirage in Las Vegas with Joey Diaz, Ari Shafir, and Duncan Trussell. Then January 30th, we return to the Mirage with Tony Hinchcliffe and Ian Edwards. Good lord, ladies and gentlemen. Why? That's because there's UFCs twice in a month in Vegas. And New Year's Eve. I'm at the Improv in Hollywood

with young Tony Hinchcliffe and the hilarious Ian Edwards. Two fucking awesome stand-up comics. And Brian, you got anything going on? Do we have any time left? Sure. What? Is there any time left? He wants to plug supercreative.tv. Supercreative.tv.

Irvine Improv this week. And I'm also doing the Columbus, Ohio. When at the Irvine Improv? Tuesday. You've got to save the days. You can't go every day looking for it. Where's Brian? Where the fuck's Brian?

He said he was here. You missed him. Vegas, January 23rd. And Columbus, Ohio with Joey Diaz the following week, which is July 28th. Deathsquad.tv for details. Supercreative.com. Jamie Jamie anything you want to plug? supercreative.com supercreative.tv

you can get the pointless podcast there the real housewives of horror two guys one up tons of shows Joe Rogan Jihad so good see you soon

bye bye folks big kiss Thank you.