The Joe Rogan Experience - #647 - Dom Irrera

Episode Date: May 13, 2015

Dom Irrera is a stand up comedian, and also hosts his own podcast called "Dom Irrera Live from The Laugh Factory" available on Spotify. http://www.domirrera.com/

There's a lot of people listening, a lot of folks. Look at you looking at me, look at you. God bless you. Look at you looking at me, looking at you. Look at you with your yoga class. I did yoga class for the first time in a while. All stretched out. It's fucking hard to do, but you feel great.

You ever do it? Yeah, I kept falling asleep. I swear to God, I was doing it at the West Side Y in New York. I'd go with my wife. I would always fall asleep. You fell asleep in yoga class? How's that? I don't even know how that's possible.

Well, you lay down and just don't get up. Really. It's hard to do, though. I did. I fell asleep a number of times. But I mean, it's hard. The yoga's hard to do. Oh, yeah.

Maybe this wasn't that hard. This was just like stretching and stuff. I did hot yoga. Oh, no. No way. As soon as you walk in, you're sweating. I don't like that. But you really, it's good for you.

You really stretch out because of it. But, god damn, like, it takes a long time to stop sweating. After you get out of there, I was sweating for like an hour and a half. Did you drink a lot? Yeah, yeah. Drank a ton of water before, a ton of water after. But it's so hot in there. I mean, it's like, I don't know how many, a 100 plus degrees, whatever the fuck it is while you're in there.

Drinking alcohol must be a good buzz after that. Yeah, you'd probably die. Nah. Nice cold beer with a shot of vodka. Come on, Joe. A shot of vodka? You heard me, tough guy. I don't drink vodka by the shot.

I'm more of a screwdriver sort of a gentleman. Screwdriver? What are you, my aunt? I like a little bit of orange juice. I like to have a screwdriver sort of a gentleman. Screwdriver? What are you, my aunt? I like a little bit of orange juice. Why don't you have a Tom Collins? Tom Collins. I don't even know what a Tom Collins is. I don't either.

I just like the name. I know what a Cosmopolitan is, but I don't know what's in it. But I know the broads like it, Dom. I'll have a Cosmo. Yeah, there's a few drinks, right, that they're feminized for whatever reason. Those drinks became a woman's drink. And then there's like vacation drinks, like a pina colada.

Yeah. If you're out with the boys. But you can't get high on them. You get sick first. Really? Well, that's sweet. Yeah. You can get pretty fucked up on those things.

Get a buzz on pina coladas. You know how much ice you got to drink? That's true. But the ice is probably good for you. It helps rehydrate you. I'm back on the sauce, by the way. Back up, back down. Back up, back down. You're in, you're out. I swear I'm never doing it again. That's the danger of being a comedian, though, because I set my alarm, like, if I'm hungover, I got a show at eight o'clock. I set my alarm for six. P.M. Yeah. Whoa. That's sad. I mean. It's

ridiculous. I mean, like, you got ridiculous i mean like you got you know you got kids you got a life i got i'm a stand-up nothing else i'm a clown i'm a verbal clown so the time between you go to bed and 6 p.m all that's spent sleeping well no but it's just i roll over in pain and agony i lament my mistake for the night. Because the buzz doesn't last nearly as long as the suffering. That's true. That's one thing. Like, if you are willing

to go through the buzz, like, if you're willing to go through the hangover just to get to that buzz, that's a big... But you don't. It's the opposite. You go through the buzz

and then you get the hangover. I regret it every time. Like, very few people would go through... Like, if you had... The only way to get drunk is you had to feel like shit for 24 hours first, and then you could drink. Yeah. Nobody would drink. Right now, as soon as you said the ice house was sold out, I thought to myself, me and you, martinis. That's the first thing I thought.

Why'd you think that? I don't know. I just had the image of having a martini before you went on. What kind of martini? Like a James Bond type, shaken, not stirred, that kind of shit? A little bit dirty. A little dirty? I like saying that to a girl.

A little stinky. Gray goose, extra dry. You know what extra dry means? Not really. Straight alcohol. Oh, okay. The other thing is vermouth they put in them, which waters it down a little bit. That's why it's called a martini instead of a straight glass of vodka.

But basically, they're either gin or vodka, but everybody just makes them pretty much strong. What's vermouth? It's like some kind of sweet liqueur that's mixed with—you wouldn't drink it on its own. Huh. So you only drink it in a drink. Yeah. Yeah, like olive juice is goddamn delicious. Delicious.

Especially in a nice martini it's good for the blood pressure too i'm sure juice of salt olives are very good for everything right yeah olives are fantastic for you yeah the um olive oil that's why all these italians and french live so long those poor fucking greek fucks those people they live on that place where nothing else grows where's that that? The island? They got to eat olives and shit. Really? Oh, it's hard. You know, the places where olives grow, like people that use olives as a staple in their

diet, it's very laborious. I have an olive tree in my yard. It's not easy getting olives out of that fucker. Did you ever think you'd have an olive tree, Joe, when you grew up? No, I did not. I didn't ask for it. It was just there when I moved in. But my dogs eat olives. You don you grew up? No, I did not. I didn't ask for it. It was just there when I moved in. But my dogs eat olives.

You don't eat them? Yeah, nope. Nope. You don't just eat them. I would never trust anything that I grew. You know what I mean? I'd still go to the store, even if I had an orange tree. No, I have oranges.

I eat those. Lemons, I eat those. I grow tomatoes and kale. I have a garden. I grow a bunch of different kinds of vegetables. I eat them. Lemons, I eat those. I grow tomatoes and kale. I have a garden. I grow a bunch of different kinds of vegetables. I eat them all the time. They're good. Tomatoes especially.

You can grow some fucking jam and tomatoes in your yard. Tomatoes can be delicious. I've never had a craving for kale. I never woke up in the middle and went, babe, we got any kale? It's always chips and soda. Why is it always the bad stuff you crave? I don't know, but I'm on a good run lately

I came home from the comedy store last night How'd you do? Killed? Killed Destroyed Destroyed And I said, you know what? I was thinking about eating unhealthy And I said, I'm on a good run right now

I'm gonna go to the fucking supermarket Get a bunch of fresh vegetables and blend those fuckers up Yeah And I made a kale shake at like 1 o'clock in the morning. That's why I like those juices that it's all like green juice and stuff. Because that's a lazy way out, but at least it's healthy. Yeah, there's a good place down the street from here I go. It's called Juicy Lady.

And they have them. You just order them right there. It's nice. But just get fucking vegetables in your body. So many people don't drink enough vegetables. They don't eat enough vegetables. It's like the number one problem, I think, that most people have. They just don't get enough nutrients in their body, and their body's forced to make do.

You live a dull existence. Like, your mind is dull. You know, your body feels dull. I eat a little too much salami. I love salami. I know. God's plan was if you really love it, you're not going to live long. Well, I found this place.

It's called Bordeaux. It's out in Agora Hills. I was just here the other day. And they make their own charcuterie. How do you say it? Charcuterie? Sorry. Charcuterie?

Charcuterie? I don't know. You know, smoked meats. They make their own salamis and hams and stuff like that and oh it was fucking fantastic

when you find like someone who's an expert at that shit and they really know what they're doing I'm gonna bring the guy some bear meat have him turn it into salami

you going hunting again yes have you shot a bear yeah yeah I shot a bear wow that. Yeah, I shot a bear. Wow. That's cool. Just come over and eat some.

It's delicious. No, I'm good. I'll just stop it in and out. Tastes good, man. People have this idea of, like, people ate bears for a long time before supermarkets were invented. Well, it's funny how we separate what's really good for us to eat. Like, it's okay.

Like, chickens and, you know, there are certain things, like I wouldn't think of eating horse or buffalo. I ate some horse in Montreal. Montreal, there's this place called Joe Beef, this famous restaurant. Oh, I know it. You know that place? I've been there, yeah. Oh, that place is fantastic.

Yeah, it's great. And they served us beef two different times. One time it was like a beef tartare. Or excuse me, not beef, horse. I was in there with you. Were you? When? Yeah, I think the night of the fight. Maybe.

I'm almost positive we went there. Probably. After that great French kid. Georges St. Pierre? Yeah. Yeah, most likely. Yeah. I've been there a bunch of times.

I probably took you. Yeah. Makes sense. Did you eat the horse? Did you have horse? No. No. I went with Duncan. We of times. I probably took you. Yeah. Makes sense. Did you eat the horse? Did you have horse? No. No. I went with Duncan.

We had horse tartare. Oh my God. That's really going too far. Like egg and oh, so good. I hear the pony's delicious. I'm a donkey guy myself. And we had a horse tenderloin, you know, but it's one of those things like, you know, you say horse to people and it's for some folks, like there's a lady that lives in my neighborhood,

I would never tell her that I ate a horse. She rides her horse by my house every day, and she's real nice. I don't want to let her know that I eat a horse. I don't eat a horse on a regular basis. No, you can't. It's too rich. Donkey cock is a delicacy in China. We served horse on Fear Factor.

It was one of the biggest issues on the show. Oh, really? Yeah, as far as people complaining, we served people horse rectums. Oh, my God. Yeah, and people were so angry. They were so angry. This was like, you know, the early days of Fear Factor was essentially before the internet had a real voice you know wasn't the social media aspect of the internet hadn't really been created yet the way

it is now right it was more of like um you know there was like a few websites and a few blogs and stuff like that but the twitter presence the facebook you know the communities that existed they didn't exist like they do now yeah it, well, it's amazing the whole world's changed with that. It's amazing. For the good and for the bad, but more for the good than anything. You helped me get on that. You got to get on it, Dominic. It's the only way to promote.

I had Lou Gatz before you. Yeah, you got to promote. I mean, it's the best way because you think about all the stuff that we used to have to do. You know, every time you would go on the road, you'd have to show up days earlier and do all this press like i think ralphie may was still doing that up until recently where he would show up at a town like weeks out and do press and then come back in the week of and you know really try to get the word out that he was going to be there i'll do press in philly like i told you i have the at the Atlantic City gig next week. Yeah, the Atlantic City gig is a great gig for you, right? That's your area.

Yeah. Those are your goombas. Tropicana next Saturday, and it's 2,000 people. It's the most intimate 2,000 theater I've ever been in. You know how they're built in such a way, like it's kind of an arc, and so half of them are kind of around you. It's really beautiful. You work at AC at all?

Yeah, I've done the Borgata a couple times, but that's it. I've never done the Trop. But the difference is the Borgata is a four wall, so the casino is not as behind you as they are at the Sands. The Borgata was good, but the Sands is great. Not the Sands. Tropicana. Tropicana.

You know why I say the Sands? Because it's the best gig I've had since the Sands oh really yeah that was the first place i ever had like imagine how cool that was joe for me you know the feeling i go there with share which is already a big deal my family and friends are there and then you know nothing like pleasing your sister your mother people you love and then i get the headline there and I got the headline. And then he had me headline when Whitney Houston couldn't make like a couple nights. And then I opened for her. What a fucking nightmare. You opened for Whitney Houston?

Oh, my God. She was late all the time. And I'm up on stage, you know. And I told the crowd, I says, look, I'm not jerking you guys off. I said, I'm up here not because I'm being self-indulgent. She ain't here. I said, I ain't taking a bullet for her. She ain't here. And then they started cheering. I said, and I'm not because I'm being self-indulgent. She ain't here. I said I ain't taking a bullet for her She ain't here and then they started cheering. I said and I'm not gonna leave you in the dark

Wow, so you just hung out with them. Well, no, I just stayed on stage, you know, how long I like 45 an hour I was supposed to 25 minutes, you know No, she's probably doing coke and eating pussy. How dare you? I can't even believe you said that. Don't you know she has left us? I know. Have some respect for the dead, Dom Herrera. Take it back. I take it back.

If it's bad karma, I take it back. I like that part. Doing coke and eating pussy? Yeah. I'd like to be there to watch it, at the very least. I haven't either. But I've eaten some pussy. How about you?

Yeah. You know them all. You actually know them. Whitney Houston. That was a weird one, right? Because when she was doing that movie, My Bodyguard, she was America's sweetheart. I know. And her and Kevin Costner were in love, and she was the superstar, and she had that amazing

voice. Yeah. Fuck, man. She didn't have an amazing voice when I worked with her, though. had that amazing voice. Fuck, man. She didn't have an amazing voice when I worked with her. She was going down. Oh, really? From the coconut. I'll tell you who was fucking great was Natalie Cole.

Really? Of all the people I opened for, she was fucking talented. No shit. Did you ever do that stuff, Joe? No, no, I never opened for... Well, I did some stuff for MTV where I opened up for Bon Jovi once. Oh, they're good guys.

Did you get to hang with them? Yeah, just said hi. They were very nice. Yeah. And I'm trying to think, maybe one or two other bands I think I did. I'm trying to remember. But the Bon Jovi one was weird because it was a theater in the round. It was the first time I ever did it.

Oh, I hate theater in the round. It was very weird because there was all this musical equipment on stage, too. And they asked me to, I was warming up the crowd, and I was also supposed to get people to come closer to the stage, and they wanted me to just get attractive people. They wanted me to just get pretty girls to come closer. You, stay back. Yeah, what the fuck?

Like, there's no way to do that without being a lech or a creepy fuck. Hey, pretty girl girl come over here what are you girls with the nice ass and the big tits come here like what do you do to that i remember how i handled it it was a long time ago it was you know early 90s my first gig was uh joan jett and the blackhearts oh shit park convention center oh shit and a guy says to me you know 4 000 people which was really a lot then i was to me, you know, 4,000 people, which was really a lot then. I was just starting out, you know. And a guy hands me $250.

He goes, stay on as long as you can. Right? What does that mean? Exactly what he said. So I go up, and I'm like, remember that Pinch-a-Loaf bit I used to have? Yeah. The Pinch-a-Loaf, the Capescoa, the Rose of Love. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was doing that bit, and half the audience was laughing. 2,000 people laughing. The other 2,000, we hate you. Joan, Joan. They're screaming, right? And I was up there for less than, like, maybe two minutes, and somebody tossed just, like, a Dixie cup top, just, you know, a light piece of paper.

All I had to see was that, and I was out of there. And the guy goes, you did great. I go, he's only on for two minutes. He goes, nobody lasts that long. I go, what the fuck do you have comedians for? He goes, hey, you know, it's a change of pace because the band's tuning up. You can hear the band tuning up. That's one thing that's weird about opening for bands.

They will tune up while you're on stage. Well, on that level, yeah. I mean, when I worked with Cheryl, it was classy because she was the one that there was by far the best job I ever had opening for anybody because, you know, she had a great crowd. She had transvestites and mothers with their grandmothers with their grandchildren.

That was the audience? Yeah, eclectic. You know what the security told me? If they ever saw a single straight guy alone, and he looked straight, they would track him all night. Because no guy alone goes to a Cher concert if he's straight. Wow. If it's a gay guy dancing and happy, no problem.

So if someone's going to be like a crazy stalker. It's going to be a straight guy. Straight guy. But she was fun to open for. Yeah, you enjoyed working with her, right? Yeah, I really liked her. Do you have a friendship with her? Do you contact her?

Not anymore. But she's very isolated. She's a good person. She used to ask me about the world like she wasn't really in it because she wasn't really in it. Wow. What's it like? She asked me about people.

One night we went to, I talked her into going out in Montreal. I said, look, why don't you drop the outfits? Stop wearing a top hat and a cane. And like, maybe nobody will notice you. Top hat and a cane. You know, she would wear a shirt. I could just picture her with the fucking tails, those coattails. Yeah, exactly.

Flopping around. Skipping back and forth. Putting on ritz. And she, you know, so we go to an ice cream place, and some, like, old guy, like a French guy, hey, aren't you the famous one, what's her name? And that's all she had to hear. She goes, yeah, who could ever forget, oh, what's her name? So then I validated that she can't go out, you know.

One guy, that's it yeah yeah but we had a good time you know we used to it was a funny thing in the casino we would meet uh when i like in the in the arenas i would do my act then they'd have a break and then she'd come up so we'd never see each other except she had like a team prayer and sometimes i was in that but um one night when she's we would cross each other one night her grandmother and grandfather were there and she said to me she goes you just did a jizz joke my grandparents there I said and by the way your ass is out and your grandfather's looking at it was that one video she did

where she was on a battleship? Yeah, Turn Back Time, I think it was. If I could turn back time. Joe, you got a little Cherie. If I could find a way. I like some Cher songs. Yeah, me too. What was that song?

Gypsies, tramps, and thieves. That's what the people of the town. I didn't like Halfbreed. Which one was Halfbreed? Halfbreed was, but I did, I loved what the people of the town. I didn't like Halfbreed. Which one's Halfbreed? Halfbreed was, but I did, I loved the Bob Dylan song she covered. Look at her. She's on a goddamn missile. All I really want to do is baby be friends with you.

She's riding a cannon. Look at that. Look at that hair. Jesus. Hey, Joe, we put the song on the net, what is it called? iTunes. iTunes. iTunes.

iTunes or YouTube? Yeah, it's called Just to Disappoint You Further. The one you played last time you were here? Yeah. Beautiful. Were you doing any music back when you were opening for these people? No, but I did one time come out. We were at Madison Square Garden.

We weren't at the big room. We were doing the smallest 7500s. The felt form was the box. And this is so funny about her. The band wants me to go out and fake playing the guitar. And she was singing this song, something about something fire, the wheels of fire, some song. And I get out there, and I'm playing.

I'm not really playing. The guy's behind the scrim, the real guitar player, is playing his ass off. And I'm faking like I'm playing. And I'm singing with her on the song. We get down on our knees and we're like looking at each other and singing and screaming

and then I get off and she never said a word about it. She never said, what the fuck are you doing? That was great. I mean, I worked with her for all those years. You know, you'd think she would notice that I was on stage.

What was the song? What were you singing? i forget it was pretty like there's a good rock song you know it would be something like give me shelter or something something like an up oh wow but now how many different gigs did you do with new houston just a weekend it was a long weekend and i i think i opened for her three three nights and then it was like a long Memorial Day, July 4th, something like that. And then I did my own headlines. The first time my headline was on the fourth night. And I did a whole bit about her, like making fun of her and singing and stuff. And the crew was crying and laughing.

That's hilarious. And her father was such a good guy. And I felt like he said to me you know i really like you you're i said oh thanks he goes i'd love to work with my daughter again i said thank you i'm thinking no fucking way i'd rather be a jimmy's clam bar in bayonne before they before they shuck the clams have them shucking in the background, clack, clack, clack, clack. But anyway, it was that bad, huh? Yeah. I remember saying on stage, because she's always doing the prayer,

and Jesus does this. I don't know a lot about religious history, but I don't think Jesus had 300-pound bouncers pushing old people away. Did she push old people away well you know i'm exaggerating kind of yeah the divas thing that i couldn't stand for that diva is weird right yeah i remember that i read this article about gene simmons was dating diana ross wow that's weird yeah it was real weird it was way way back in the day and uh he just couldn't take the diva apparently just couldn't take her being mean to all those people.

Yeah, yeah. Like, that was the argument that they had got. But, you know, obviously, this is, like, completely third-hand. Remember in the millennium when Barbra Streisand did the MGM Grand? I don't know if you remember that. No. Well, the funniest part, you know how we were all so connected. A friend of mine's brother was a waiter at the MGM, and he would bring her room service,

and he wasn't allowed to look at her. What? So he had to back into the room with the cart and just walk away and not look at her. Is that hilarious? This is Barbra Streisand? Yeah. I have a friend who was told the exact same thing. He was a stagehand, and he he was told do not look at her

do not talk to her and He violated it he you know it said something to her like mr. I see and your cue is gonna be done and she goes why is he talking to me? Well she pointed to him she looked away and pointed to him so why they act so sweet when they're talking about their charities and all this bullshit Yeah, that's weird. It's weird. The diva thing is a very weird thing, that getting above everyone, where you wanted to be treated like royalty.

There is a ballet dancer named Rudolf Nureyev. Ever hear of him? Yeah. Okay, so I used to park cars at the River Cafe in Brooklyn. Did you fuck him? No. No? You seemed like one of those guys. I got the second base.

I got the crack just the crack second base to a guy it was different than i don't know i don't know just a lot of guys get second base on each other it's really no big deal i'll grab a tit i was hoping you'd go with it because i didn't know what i meant but he used to come in and i like he was one of those guys with the cape and everything and i he fucking hated me because i called him rudy you know he hated you yeah i go hey rudy how's it hanging i said because i would always ask him like questions about jumping you know i said could you dunk i said you could probably touch the rim with your foot and he never thought i was funny at all i was such a wise is he's super serious. Oh yeah, super. Talk about the male diva. The ballet is my

life. I dance, I prance, I spin, I soar through the air and I'm free. I am free. Yeah, I mean, I'm all for people taking themselves seriously in small doses when you're doing important stuff like brain surgery. Yeah, you want that to be serious.

Listen, buddy, you're wearing tights. You're wearing tights. You're jumping. I remember Jonathan Katz line. One thing you don't want to hear your surgeon say is, has anybody seen my lucky scalpel? You know, we did a Dr. Katz in Austin, Texas. It was a lot of fun.

How's he doing? He's all right. I saw him in a hotel completely randomly, and he was in a lot of fun. How's he doing? He's all right. He's like in a, I saw him in a hotel completely randomly and he was in a wheelchair. Yeah. He got up and did stand up though. He stood up for that. What is wrong with him? What's going on?

Oh. Yeah. You know, Jonathan Katz was the open mic host the first time I ever went on stage. At Nick's? No, Stitch's. Oh, no kidding. Yep. Yeah.

He was the host. Very first time I ever went on stage. Wow. Yeah. I didn't know that was your first. Such a no kidding. Yep. Yeah, he was the host. Very first time I ever went on stage. Wow. Yeah. I didn't know that was your first time. Such a nice guy. Yeah. That place used to creep me out because when you walked to the back, the wall was so thin.

I was always afraid it was just going to close up on me. So you started with Paul Barkley and those guys. Yeah, yeah. Paul was doing stand-up. They were the connection. They were the connection. Paul Barkley owned the comedy connection with Billy Downs. Yeah, yeah. Paul was doing stand-up. They were the connection. They were the connection. Paul Barkley owned the comedy connection with Billy Downs. Yeah, yeah.

And I was doing Nick's Comedy Stop, and I was doing that. I was doing the connection, and I was doing Stitches. But I started out, my first set ever was at Stitches. That was on, I think it was on Com Ave at the time. There was two locations for Stitchers. There was one that was right next door to the Paradise, which was a rock club. I saw Jerry Seinfeld perform there once. And then they moved to another location where it was just autonomous.

It was just by itself, and they connected to it. That was the first time I ever saw somebody get hit in the face with a bottle. Oh, my God. Who was that? Well, actually, the only time I ever saw anybody get hit in the face with a bottle Just I wasn't involved. I was just just happened to be there and these two guys were arguing at a bar I mean it didn't seem like they were arguing that much And we didn't get like crazy or heated and this guy just smashed this guy in the face of the Heineken bottle

Fucking blood was everywhere. It was crazy. I just couldn't believe someone could just smash somebody in the face of the bottle so easily I'll never forget that because it just made me it made me realize like There's certain people out there that are already at nine. Yeah, you know you might be at zero you walk into a bar You're like hey, how's everybody doing? What's up? How are you? Yeah? I'll have a you know martini extra 30 That's how you like it and then then for whatever reason, your elbow touches some guy. He spills his drink a little bit. Whatever the fuck it was. I don't know what happened.

I didn't see it. I mean, I was a good distance away in a crowded bar. But I just happened to look over as these guys were exchanging words. And I saw that guy and bottled that guy in the face. And I was like, whoa. Well, the whole bar mentality, the guys that will get in a fight because somebody bumps into them, you're going to get bumped into if you're in a crowd. Yeah, well, if someone bumps in, you know, they say sorry, and that's the end of it, no matter what happens.

Even if you get fucking wet. It's like 99.9% of the time, nobody's meaning to do that. But the ability to bottle somebody in the face like that, I mean, that guy was scarred for life. There's no question about it. Oh, sure. For nothing. Nothing. I was never in a fight in a bar.

The only fights I've ever been in, they were all about sports. They were all playing sports. Oh, during a game. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that. They used to have this thing in Boston,

this comics baseball game, like a softball game. Every Monday, I think it was. And we'd all get together and uh the fucking heated screaming matches i would watch these comics get into he was fucking out he was fucking out i was like god damn it you're playing softball right this is a comedian softball game i remember brian frazier and this other guy Matt which is in each other's face fucking screaming and spitting each other Was just madness yeah, yeah There was probably probably would have been if one guy did something they touched the other guy They probably would have beaten each other's brains out. Yeah right there. They probably fought to the death

Fucking softball over whether or not a guy's foot had touched the bag before or after the other guy had caught the ball. That was the big dispute. Joe, it could be scrabble. If guys are feisty, they're feisty. Well, that's what's dumb about it is there's nothing on the line here. There's nothing on the line. This is not professional.

It's not even amateur. It's not organized. Nobody gives a shit if anybody wins or loses. There's nothing that's worth it my my little cousin who thank god he went to rehab we're walking down the street i did i was doing helium in philly you ever do a club love that club yeah i walk it down and these these three kids are waiting for this homeless guy he's in a sleeping bag to fall asleep because some people had laid money on him. So my cousin all of a sudden is going to be the hero. And the guy said

to me, he goes, listen man, get your boy out of here or I'll fucking murder him. And I'm sure he was holding a peace or something. You know what I mean? I don't understand. They were waiting for the guy to fall asleep to take his money. They were betting on it? No, just waiting for him. to fall asleep to take his money. They were betting on it?

No, just waiting for him to, you know, they were going to take the money that people had put on his chest. You know, he was a homeless guy. And there were three just bad fucking dudes, 3 o'clock in the morning. I said to my cousin, there's nothing you can win from this. You want to protect him? Call the cops. Don't get yourself involved. Jesus Christ. Stupid thing. Getting me killed, you know, know for nothing You can run into the wrong people

I mean that is the world of nightlife of cities yeah, and the people that are most dangerous Are the ones that got nothing to lose? Yeah, or they don't even realize they have something to lose. They're not even thinking you know There's a lot of people that just not planning ahead or they think life is some fucking movie They're gonna pistol whip somebody and's going to be the end of it. You know, many times you see in a movie a guy crack somebody over the back of the head with a piece, and the guy goes down and wakes up an hour later, oh, what happened? And then he gets in a bunch of fights.

Well, movies, fighting is such bullshit, as you know. First of all, hardly anybody gets knocked out. Yeah. Everybody gets knocked out in Westerns. One punch, a girl knocks them out. You know what I mean? And fights are so slow. Real fights in real life are a couple of quick punches and people grab people.

You know what I mean? Most fights are just a sucker punch. I've seen some fights last a while, but not usually. You know what I mean? And a lot of times people are basically down deep their pussy, so they want to have a fight that's broken up immediately. Yeah, what's always shocking to me is when I watch people fight and they don't know how to fight.

Like, you got in a fight and you don't even know what you're doing? Like, I'm terrified to get into a fight, and I've been doing it my whole life. Yeah, because you're smart enough to know how bad it is. But I just can't imagine someone would just not have any skill at all. Like, have no idea what to do, and somehow or another, you find yourself, fuck you, bitch, and you're throwing crazy punches. You're out of gas almost immediately. Like, what have you risked your life on? You've taken this crazy chance. Like, you don't, it's like, you don't know what you're doing. It's like getting on stage and playing guitar when you don't know how to play guitar. Right.

You don't know what you're doing. Like, what are you doing? You're fucking crazy. Like that time when you get on stage, what if they had given you a real guitar and you had to play and sing with Cher? I couldn't do anything. What the fuck? I'd be playing chords from Norwegian wood.

Do you play any musical instruments now? No, I just, I, I, I play a little bit of guitar, but I'm left-handed, so I rarely have, unless I have one in the house. But I'm not any good. Oh, you have to have a different kind of guitar for the left hand. Well, it's completely opposite. It's stringed differently. So do you have it strung upside down?

That's what it is? Yeah. There are some I think they make like that. I have a McCartney's left-handed, and I used to watch him play bass. When you see those guys that would have like two and three necks in their guitar, is that like a fad? I think they make like that McCartney's left-handed and I used to watch him play bass and When you see those guys that would have like two and three necks of their guitar Yeah, like a fad is that out? I don't know what that in there to me It's like so cool. You're Led Zeppelin Jimmy Page used to have that. Yeah, but I don't even know what it does I guess they you know what probably they have a different

Chords the frets are different so they have like different chords already set up so they can go back and forth I'm imagining that's what it is yeah I'm imagining too I've been on a Hendrix kick the last few weeks I mean I've always been a huge fan I mean that's the why I named the show the Joe Rogan experience oh yeah yeah I mean look right behind me Hendrix yeah I'm a huge Hendrix man. What was he arrested for heroin? Toronto Hollow he was trying to take it into the country. Yeah, whoops. That's a good move Somebody should tell him he was left-handed as well. Yeah, someone should tell him just heroin in Toronto left in

Kirk Cobain was left in you know, there's a high instance of left-handed genius. A lot of left-hands. Look at you, you left-handed genius. Left-handed people oftentimes, you know, one thing that left-handed people apparently excel at is fighting. There was like a study done on left-handed people. They were trying to correlate left-handed people with violence. They were trying to say that left-handed people perhaps are trying to correlate left-handed people with violence they were trying to say that left-handed people um perhaps are more violent or better at violence they couldn't make that correlation this is from a radio lab podcast but when they did what they

did figure out is that left-handed people are better at fighting because and one of the reasons is they're doing everything the opposite way so it confuses everybody well my father was a boxer and he taught me to start right-handed if you know if i was ever sparring at like summer camp and then switch left-handed he said it confused the fuck out of me yeah left hand is weird because the jab's coming from the wrong side you're expecting the jab from over here and it's coming from over here and then the left hand is the big weapon instead of the right hand it fucks you up unless you're used to it but you got to get used to it like some guys they would always have their toughest fights against southpaws like they would do great against orthodox fighters

but they could never get their rhythm against southpaws did you watch the fight yeah yeah i'm one of the few people that liked it you like see i didn't like it i loved it i enjoyed every minute of it i thought it was a fascinating fight. You know why? Because you know so much more about martial arts and boxing and stuff. To me, I wanted to see a fight, not a boxing match. You know? Like, I wanted to see anger. There was no anger. Nothing.

Did you see Canelo Alvarez, James Kirkland, the next week? The one, the knockout? Yeah. I saw the knockout. Whoa, I was fucking... Fucking Christ, I got it. You see that look on his face when he was out on his feet? Oh, yeah. Going down? Canelo Alvarez is a fucking beast. You see that look on his face when he was out on his feet going down?

Canelo Alvarez is a fucking beast. He's a bad motherfucker. But his style is the style that- That's the Mexican kid, right? Yeah, the red-headed, handsome fella. His style is the kind of style that everybody really wants to see today, like Gennady Golovkin, like this seek and destroy, destruct. Floyd Mayweather is not that guy.

Floyd Mayweather is a wizard. I mean, he really is a magician in there. Well, he's smart. He's not getting hit, and he's defensive, and he's counterpunching. But, you know, like because of the stuff that you're involved in, I got more used to action. I mean, I know they get locked up sometime on the floor for too long, but it's still, it's pretty funny when even they're locked up and the guy's just pounding the other guy's temple. Well, there's more variables in MMA, and that's what makes it more exciting. Because you never know what the fuck's going to happen.

You never know if a guy's going to kick you or take you down or try to submit you or punch you. There's just so many different things going on, and there's so many different things you have to think about and prepare for. And so many different angles that a person could take when things aren't going their way you know and that just doesn't exist in boxing when you're a guy like Manny Pacquiao and you're fighting a guy like Floyd and Floyd's got you figured out after the first round good luck you know your only luck the best case scenario is you land a really good left hand then you follow up with the combination and he tried to do that a few times, but Floyd just went into that defensive shell

and then just shook his head at him. Nope, didn't do it. Nope, you didn't hurt me. He's just the best ever. A lot of people give me shit about saying that. I had an argument with Max Kellerman about it when he was like, Sugar Ray Robinson's the best ever. How could he be the best ever?

Sugar Ray Robinson lost to Jake LaMotta. You're telling me that Floyd Mayweather would lose to Jake LaMotta? I'm telling you, you're out of your fucking mind. Floyd Mayweather would box circles around Jake LaMotta. You're telling me that Floyd Mayweather would lose to Jake LaMotta? I'm telling you, you're out of your fucking mind. Floyd Mayweather would box circles around Jake LaMotta. If they were the same size, Jake LaMotta, as great and tough as he was, would never fucking come close. You look at what Floyd Mayweather has been able to do to murderous punchers like Canelo Alvarez, you know, these guys that just smash everybody else.

They can't even touch him. You barely can get close to him. He's a wizard. He is a wizard. I take my hat off to him. You know, Angela Dundee? Sure. He used to come and see me in West Palm all the time,

and he knew that I had some history of boxing in my family, and he brought me this great picture of all the Philly fighters. And I was out at the dinner with him one night, and I started picking his brain a little. I said, who's the baddest motherfucker of all of them? He said, who do you think of all the guys that you saw or could beat anybody? He goes, Sonny Liston, hands down. Wow.

He said everybody was afraid of him. He said, you know, he had a lot of problems with whatever. I don't know what mob ties he had, but apparently heroin. And, you know, that second Ali fight was definitely thrown. Oh, yeah. You could say it's such a joke, the phantom punch. The way he's faking. Well, he got punched.

They call it a phantom punch. It's not a phantom punch. He definitely got punched, but he was waiting for the first punch to land so that he could just lay down. Pull that up, Jimmy. Watch this. It's Muhammad Ali versus Sonny Liston 2 in Lewiston, Maine. You know who I thought it was going to be? Foreman.

Because of his size and his strength. But, you know, he said Liston was the toughest. Yeah, well, you know what? Foreman, before Ali beat him, was a different animal. Post-Ali, he was never the same guy because that air of invincibility was gone. And then he had that crazy fight, I believe it was with Ron Lyle. they just fucking blasted each other in the head and knocked each other down like four or five times do you remember the punch that he hit george foreman with in jamaica picked him up not your choice joe frazier joe frazier yeah he picked him up on a stomach punch i don't remember what

what he hit him with but i remember his his legs literally came up off the ground. I never saw that before. Yeah. Incredible. He was a monster. He was such a fucking murderous puncher. I was at the Spinks-Tyson fight, Michael Spinks. Yeah, we talked about this a couple times on podcast, how scary. He's up-jumped the devil. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's really.

I think we talked about it at the lab factory. I think we talked about it more than once because it was such a, I mean, you were there for like one of the most stunning moments in boxing history that was cool a lot of people thought michael sphinx was going to give him a hard time because sphinx had gone 12 rounds at larry holmes and you know and beat larry holmes by decision and you know and he was the light heavyweight champion he was a good boxer he just had no business he was so small too he was barely 199 you he was fighting Mike Tyson. Tyson wasn't much bigger in comparison to today's fighters.

He was probably like 220. He was built better, though. He was compact. 1965, Lewiston, Maine. Watch this. Because Ali still looking slick, man. There's still, to this day, no heavyweight that moves like him, man. No.

Look how fucking good he moved. So light on his feet. For a guy who's 220 pounds or whatever the hell he was, side to side, all that head movement. I mean, you can't, look at that. You can't even touch him. Liston would lunge forward with that jab. Good luck. Now, here he gets him with the punch.

Like, right as he tries to, Liston tries to crowd him. And it happens with Ali's face to the camera, so Liston's back to the camera. And he just comes with an overhand right. And as soon as he catches Liston on the jaw, Liston goes down like he got shot. I think it's right here. Right here. Whenever it is, it's when Liston's back's to you. But look how beautiful Ali moves, man.

Yeah, he's amazing. I mean, he really did float. And this is the real Ali. This is the Ali of 1965. Before the Army and all that. Yeah, man. The Army fucked him. That whole thing fucked him.

Because for three years, from 1967 to 1970, he was completely out of commission. That is total prime. Yeah. Like, watch. We'll show the difference here. Like, when he finally catches, like, Liston, even though Liston's moving towards him, he doesn't even look like he's trying to hit him. I wonder if they gave him a time where he had to get knocked out too

I mean it must be probably the first round Probably because of all the gambling on it Oh yeah I mean that was everything Here it is Boom right there I mean that There's no fucking way There's just no fucking way

And look the way he's going down The way he gets up Oh look he faked You can see him thinking I should probably fall down here And he gets up finally And Jersey Joe Walcott is the referee too I believe Yep

Yeah that's Joe Walcott And something happened there And now Ali is just tuning him up and now they stopped the fight that's it so I guess he had reached a 10 count I forgot that he got up after that yeah here's the knockout in slow motion what I mean he does hit him everybody calls it the phantom punch but watch this punch he definitely does hit him as List Liston moves forward, he does, boom, see? Yeah. Clean hit.

No doubt about it. He definitely tagged him. But it wasn't the kind of punch that would put a guy like Liston out. It would probably stun him. But I just didn't believe that that was a real one-punch knockout. Now, watch that. I didn't believe that that was a real one-punch knockout. Now, watch that.

And now watch. He came back against the white dude, Jerry Quarry. That was his comeback fight, Muhammad Ali versus Jerry Quarry. And when he fought Jerry Quarry, this was after he had taken all that time off, and his body just looked different, man. He just, like, Jerry Corey was, like, a really tough guy who, by the way, before he died, couldn't even figure out how to walk. Like, he couldn't figure out where he was.

Didn't know where his underwear was. Yeah, he was gone. If he walked out his front door, he'd never make it back inside. He was just gone. You know, Ali's talking to him here. But if you look at Ali's body, like as Ali goes back, the thing about Ali was that if he wasn't training for a fight, he wasn't working out. So he didn't spend those three years lifting weights and running hills

and fucking hitting the heavy bag. He wasn't doing anything. I mean, he's probably just fighting to keep from getting locked up in jail. But if you look at his body, look at it. He's all smooth and there's no muscles. Look at him. He looks like shit. I mean, he doesn't look anything like he used to look.

I mean, he's bouncing around a little bit in the beginning, but he's just not the same guy. He still had some pretty big fights at the end. Yeah, he did, but he was never the same guy. I'll never forget Larry Holmes trying to get the refs to stop the fight because he didn't want to beat him up anymore that was awful his idol that was awful because that was after ollie had no money left and he was really suffering from parkinson's already he was really yeah i was already kicked in he was already uh in really bad shape well you, as a friend of mine, we used to work as doormen together.

And Doc Watson's affiliate was Randall Cobb. Tex Cobb. And we saw him take a beating from Holmes. Yeah. We were just going, go down, Randall. Go down. Yeah. It was fucking horrible.

That was the fight that made Howard Cosell retire from boxing. Yeah, I remember that. I'm done. No more. Look at that little monkey run. Howard Cosell, who called some of the greatest fights of all time. Yeah. But if you look at Ali here, he still looks good, but it's just not the same Ali.

No. Just not the same guy. His body doesn't look the same. He's smooth. Granted, he's had three years off, but he's just I mean the the old Ali go now to Ali versus Cleveland Big Cat Williams And I've always said if you want to look at like Ali in his prime When Ali was in his prime is when he was fighting this guy Cleveland Williams and Cleveland Williams is his big fucking scary Murderous puncher and Muhammad Alied this guy's fucking face off.

Who was the one that he was doing, what's my name, what's my name? Oh, shit. Remember that? Yeah. Because the guy wouldn't quite call him Cassius Clay. Called him Cassius Clay, yeah. What's my name, what's my name? I forget who that was.

God damn, I'd have to look at his record. But Cleveland Williams, look how muscular Williams is. Williams is a fucking animal. Murderous puncher. And he just could not catch Ali. This is Ali in his prime. This is Ali in 67. He was sleek.

But the movement, the side to side. It was like there was no fucking heavyweights that ever moved like that. No one. I mean, he literally moved faster and lighter on his feet than most welterweights. And he was fighting at 200 plus pounds. I mean, I don't know what he weighed in his prime. He was probably about 220 or something like that. Did you ever see that picture of him and the Beatles?

Which one? Classic picture. Just him and the Beatles in Miami. Just a funny thing. I'm trying to find out who that guy was that did that. I know. What's my name? What's my name?

Early career. He's got a bit of a process, Cleveland. Oh, the hair? Yeah. They all used to like that. Sugar Ray Robinson had that, too. The conk, they would call it. Well, you know who also was great?

Sugar Ray Leonard. Oh, yeah, dude. Why don't you shut it off, Jamie? Keep that shit on, son. I'm trying to find this guy's name. Jamie, how you doing? Jamie's good over there. Look at him, sexy bitch.

Sexy motherfucker. Jimmy Ellis. Jimmy Ellis? That's who it was. Yeah. Wow. Pretty sure. Pretty sure it was Jimmy Ellis.

I thought Jimmy Ellis was a sparring player, too. Beat him, too. He probably was. That's probably what happened. Wouldn't knock him out because he was so mad at him. Just beat his ass. I'm almost positive it was Ellis. I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

But if you watch this fight, this, in my opinion, was like the quintessential Ali. And this was, I believe, the quintessential ali and this was i believe the last fight before he went away um they just had never seen anybody like this guy before what did he do in those three years did he he wasn't in prison no i think well actually i think he fought they fought two more times and then he went yeah he fought ernie terrell and then Zara Foley. He went to, you know, he had to fucking go to court. Look at this. God damn, he was fast. Look at this.

The legs. Pap, pap, pap, pap, pap. And then out of there. I mean, he was barely getting hit back then, man. He was so fucking quick. And then you see like his later fights, like when he fought Joe Frazier, like Rumble in the Jungle. And, you know, there was this this it was so much slower afoot probably had knee problems by then and you know he took a beating from frazier i mean they took a beating from each other oh those were

horrendous fights those are horrendous fights his daughter told me and may may is a friend of mine his daughter you remember me sure she was always at the store. She's a comic, right? Yeah. I remember the first time I brought her up and I said, oh no, she brought me up and I said, Maymay Ali. I said, I was thinking in the back, I wonder if I could beat Ali's daughter in a fight. Probably not. Yeah. Well, definitely not the other one. Layla.

No. Layla's beautiful, man. She's scary, too. She'll beat the shit out of you. Yeah. Beautiful, and she'll beat your ass. Well, Maymay's an example of how a woman can be pretty and look like her father. Yeah.

Right, right, right. You know, he's got a son, too, that comes around the comedy store, or used to come around the comedy store back in the day. Oh, I don't remember that. Yeah, and Maymay introduced me to him one day, and I was like, whoa, this dude looks exactly like Muhammad Ali. It was crazy. And, you know, at the time, he was fairly young, the kid.

You know, this was like, I want to say 10 years ago, maybe. But Cleveland Williams was like this, like, perfect style fighter to show, like, Muhammad Ali in his best. Like, he just wasn't there, man. He just wasn't there. Well, he's not nearly as quick't there, man. He just wasn't there. Well, he's not nearly as quick. Oh, man. Look at this. Look at that.

That's insane. He was so slick. And he just redefined what it meant to be a professional boxer. He introduced a whole new way of doing it. And now there's a lot of MMA fighters that use this style now. I mean, it's different because they throw kicks and because takedowns are incorporated into it. But a lot of what they call neo-footwork movements, like Dominic Cruz is probably the best at it. He's the former bantamweight champion.

And TJ Dillashaw, who's the current bantamweight champion, both guys are great examples of people that use this kind of misdirection and footwork, like constantly left to right, right to left. But those guys also incorporate switching stances. Like they'll fight southpaw and then orthodox and orthodox southpaw. They go back and forth. Look at this. Ali's just right in front of this dude, and he can't do shit to him. Go to the knockout where you see, don't know where where it is on this video

it can't be much further than this when's your next fight Joe the next UFC is next weekend it's a big one too it's Chris Weidman versus Vitor Belfort

in Vegas look at this ding ding oh wow oh son he stands over him with his hands up oh he's that cold

oh yeah that's real you can see the way he's breathing very different than the way sonny liston went down see that again back it up again to there's i believe he got knocked down twice i might i might be wrong yeah he got knocked down twice so look this is don't yeah back it up a little bit. You can see the flurry. No, it was three times. He got knocked down three times.

Yeah, and then eventually put away. But he just, you know, kept trying to chase him, chase him, chase him. But, bing, he knocked him down walking away. God damn, that was beautiful. The way he did that. Ooh. I watched this fight I don't know how many times. This is one of my favorite all time performances of any

boxer just cause it was just to me like you know there's like certain Mike Tyson fights that they're just the quintessential Mike Tyson fight like Mike Tyson like uh like the one that when he won the title that was like a quintessential Mike Tyson fight um fuck is his name

fucking shit I don't remember his first fight I just remember him being an essential Mike Tyson fight. What the fuck is his name? Fucking shit. I don't remember his first fight. I just remember him being the most terrorizing boxer I've ever seen. I can't believe I can't remember this. You know, Joe, when he was at his prime, he used to hit through the defense.

Oh, yeah. Well, he was just so goddamn fast for a heavyweight. There was nobody like him. There had been no heavyweights that were anything. Trevor Berwick. There was no heavyweights that were even remotely like that guy. Trevor Berwick was like a big lumbering guy, too. He just couldn't.

He had nothing for Tyson. You know, Tyson at that time was just so fucking destructive. He was so good. But that, like, okay, Marvis Frazier. That's like the quintessential tyson fight when i think of uh mike tyson in his destructive just just on point motivated in shape just a destroyer you've seen the marvis frazier fight oh yeah oh that's the quintessential mike tyson fight i felt bad for him actually me too shouldn't have been in there he had no no business

you know his dad was just this bad motherfucker and his dad wanted to think that his son was going to be the guy that beat mike tyson but you know you got to realize man that these guys like everybody that comes after you will have learned from everything you do and your momentum will take them to another level and that's going to happen with every i mean there's lulls in sports fighting especially fighting especially as lulls I think basketball and football they all have lulls to where they have like your superstars and then like there's areas maybe where there's no no one that's consummate or no one no one is like like the level of a Jordan or Kobe Bryant or LeBron James

like there's only a few guys that ever hit that like super, super athlete level. They rose above the sport. This is the first time in my life I couldn't name five boxers. Really? Yeah. Right now? I could easily. But it's a weird time for boxing for sure.

I remember when all those welterweights and when Duran and Carlos Palomino and all those guys were fighting. There was a bunch of guys. Well, you know what? Those were on ABC Wild World of Sports. I don't know the heavyweight champ. Who's that? Vladimir Klitschko. Say hi.

And Deontay Wilder. I think he has one of the titles. But the thing about Vladimir Klitschko is he's this big Russian guy. And, you know, you would think like a white guy that's the heavyweight champion, this would be a crazy time. Like everybody would be excited to see him. He's the most boring of all heavyweight champions possibly ever. He's just very smart. I mean, not boring to me, because I think he's got a very intelligent style. I mean, if you're six foot six, the way he fights is the perfect way to fight. He jabs you, jabs you, drops a right hand and clinches. Jab, jab, clinch jabs you drops a right hand and clinches

jab jab clinch jab jab right hand clinch well that clinching with the mayweather the other night yeah i was actually looking at the time on the maran left i was so bored oh minute 54 i don't feel like watching this shit i was watching it with my wife and she was yelling out like god this is so boring she she actually said this she goes you should have to get knocked down in order to win. Oh, you should have to get like what that is The most ridiculous thing I've ever heard shows well, then it would be exciting like to someone who doesn't watch boxing I see that that would be really boring. Melissa. Carrie said something to me though. I thought was interesting She said why don't they penalize a guy for holding too much for clinch ins defending yourself smart Yeah, but I mean I like them if they took points off for that then there wouldn't be, for clinching. Defending yourself. You're smart. Yeah, but I mean, if they took points off for that,

then there wouldn't be as much clinching. Well, they took points off of Klitschko in his last fight, and it actually got kind of interesting. Yeah. Because Klitschko is, you know, he's famous for that. He's famous for holding on to guys, and he's a big fucking dude. He's huge.

You know, he's 6'6". So he'll pop you and then grab ahold of you and wrestle you and put a lot of weight on your neck. You know, like they lean on you and make you carry their weight. Like that's a famous way that guys will kind of try to sap strength out of you. It's essentially like they're trying to grapple with you. And they took a point away from him. The referee was just a real stern referee.

And then it forced him into some dangerous situations where Klitschko was, you know, he was really getting threatened. Like for the first time, like we've seen any of his fights for a long time, but there's no one out there that's like a Tyson. You know, there's no, like if you had a LeBron James, like LeBron James became a boxer when he was young instead of became a basketball player and was just as dedicated to boxing as he is to being a basketball player. There's still some crucial elements. You can be a great athlete in other sports, but you wouldn't be a great fighter.

I mean, you might be able to be a great baseball player or be a great basketball player, but when it gets down to fighting, there's some intangibles involved in fighting that don't exist in any other sport. You got to be willing to go out there and risk your health, and no one is there to help you. There's no one there to help you. You can't pass the ball. There's no timeouts. You will go into the fire, and you have to be able to hold yourself together

under just a barrage of fucking punches, and the most dangerous guy in the world who's your opponent who's trained for eight weeks for this moment just to kick your ass i mean he's been not drinking not partying sleeping all the time just so he can have more energy to fuck you up yeah well now there's the best athletes don't go into boxing no or baseball they go into football and basketball i think well even mma you know we have a hard time time finding the best athletes in mma there's a few of them now that are just starting to leak into mma like guys who are like olympic caliber wrestlers who are tremendous athletes i thought that guy silva was really good anderson yeah yeah anderson is a very good fighter i mean he's the greatest

of all time no but no doubt about it and he's a very good athlete. But, you know, like a Jordan. You know, Anderson Silva was not Michael Jordan. You know what I mean? I mean, he was a fantastic fighter. Is he still fighting? No. Well, yes, but he's suspended for quite a while because he tested positive for steroids after he broke his leg. He broke his leg and then fought again and won, but tested positive for steroids.

broke his leg, then fought again and won, but tested positive for steroids. But the difference, I think, is, I mean, there's no doubt that Anderson is a spectacular athlete and the best MMA fighter of all time. But I just think the level of competition that's involved in MMA, or at least was in his division, now that division is fucking stacked with killers. But when he was in his prime, there was a long time where, like, the title challengers were like Patrick Cote or Talos Leitis

or these guys that, like, really weren't at his level. But now there's, like, seven or eight guys in the UFC's middleweight division that are just murderers. So it's one of those things where a guy like Anderson, who's the cream of the crop, the best of the best, pretty much the best ever, and because he's at such a high level, all those guys that are training, that see him and aspire to be him or aspire to beat him, those guys all come up in the gym, and by the time Anderson's done, when the new guy comes along, Chris Weidman, there's like this overwhelming momentum of competition behind him.

Because all these guys have been under the shadow of the greatest ever. So it comes in waves. I saw him do, he was losing the whole fight. And then he got, right at the end, he got a guy with his legs around his head. Yeah, Chael Sonnen. Chael didn't have to tap there either. You remember that fight? Yeah, oh yeah. I mean, I don't know if Chael was exhausted or if, I don't know what happened.

Chael could have got out of that because that wasn't a fully locked in triangle. People have gotten out of way tighter triangles. But the fact, there's a bunch of factors though. Like one is like Chael kind of was susceptible to submissions and he was a psychological thing where sometimes he would be winning a fight and he just couldn't take the pressure or something. He would just get submitted. But that fight in particular was weird because he was that close to winning

the fucking middleweight title. Oh, man, was he close. He was so close. I mean, he was running away from it. Got him in the last minute, right? Yep. Yeah, the fifth round. And to get caught in a triangle like that,

like he didn't have to get caught in that triangle. He could have played it smart and just held that guy down, kept his posture, and, you know, he got caught and, you know, he tapped pretty much immediately and then he tried to like not say he tapped. It was like a lot of weird shit that happened there.

Your career is amazing when you think about, I told you, my friend McGettigan, the guy who prosecuted Sandusky, It was like a lot of weird shit that happened there. Your career is amazing when you think about it. I told you, my friend McGettigan, the guy who prosecuted Sandusky, he said, I think Rogan's the best announcer in any sport right now on TV. That's very nice of him. And I remember when I was complimenting you on stage at Laugh Factory, and he said, I'm very uncomfortable with this. But I would love for the people to see you doing stand-up because you're so good at being serious. If they ever saw your act, it would be explosive to them. Well, you know, I think people like to define people in one way.

Like you're either silly or you're serious or you're either sexy or you're goofy. Everybody wants to be defined in one way or another. It's easier to define people But we all have like various aspects to our personalities. We all have weird subtle Yeah, but we're all not at the same that like at a high level of both Yeah, but it's just time. You know just put I put a lot of time into doing stand-up so talent Joe don't Don't turn away from it I mean it's like you know a lot of people

we've seen a lot of people put time in and they've gotten worse yeah but don't you think they're doing it wrong like like like when they put time like people put time in but what what are they doing with that time like how how much are they looking at themselves how objective are they i just don't think they have the certain gifts you know, I mean, I think like one of the things I study is us stand-up comedians. And there are some people, you can see them walk on stage. They're putting their bottle of water down and you know they're going to be good. They got an aura about them. There are some people that are so just needy and not natural.

And, you know, the not natural thing is tough because i don't know what you do about that no matter how hard you work just not a natural wit i was watching somebody last night and i don't want to name him name him don't don't know no i don't want i don't want to name because i wouldn't want to hurt him but chrysalia no chrysalia is a natural brian cowan brian chinese name all my friends frankan should be out of the business he's a sham he's a mock you know what he is?

he's a poor man's you let me tell you something, there's no funnier guy for a five day hunting trip I love Brian Cowan too I go on hunting trips with him and it's five days of gay jokes five relentless non-stop hilarity.

Like, he just fucking never stops. He's got that sophisticated side of him. He's so goofy on stage. He's doing Christopher Walken as a pigeon. Yeah. Then you talk to him about, this is a really fun Chateaubriand, Chateau Neftapop, you know.

You know what I mean? He's got all these, like, wines he knows. He knows a lot about wine. He knows where the grapes come from, what part of the country. And he studies that shit. He's a weirdo when it comes to that. I was supposed to do a podcast last week. I never heard from him.

He just disappeared? That's so him. I don't know. Oh, that's so him. Dub David is always saying he's my friend because I love him, but he's always late. Yeah. He's always, you know, but he is a character. Oh, he's, but you can't be a guy like Brian Callen

unless you're late, unless you're flaky. Yeah. I mean, that's one of the beautiful things of him. It's one of the reasons why I like hunting with him, too. He can't go anywhere.

I'm stuck with him for five days and we're hanging out on an island in Alaska. Oh, I could never do that. We have so much fun. We have so much fun. I just watched an episode last night of us

from the Prince of Wales Island that I hadn't really watched the whole episode before. What's it on? I'd love to see it. It's on the Sportsman's channel, which is like an all-hunting channel. What's it called? It's called Meat Eater. And it's me and Callan. I'll send you a link to it.

I'll send you a link so you can watch it online. It's fucking great. He's so funny, man. I mean, you don't get a sense of how really funny he is on the show, because they show a little of us goofing off, but most of it's so inappropriate. You know, he'd be like, we're getting ready,

we're gonna go kill some deer. Dom, you got a piece on you. And all of a sudden, he'll start talking about your cock for five minutes. And it's one of those things where it's funny, and then you're like, how long can you keep doing this? And it gets funnier and then you're like,

well, surely this is going to end soon. Nope, it gets funnier and funnier and then, you know, you see him an hour later and you keep keeping it warm for me? Like, it's just like, he's so ridiculous.

Now, who goes out there with you besides you two? Well, there's Steve Rinella who's the host of the show and then usually he brings either uh ryan callahan who is a another uh very experienced hunter and a guy who runs this clothing company called first light clothing company it's like an all hunting clothing company it's all merino wool stuff it's kind of funny that like all these different you know synthetics all these different

things they've created for clothes and for you know for textiles wool merino wool is still like the best shit at keeping you warm just lambs wool it's weird so um that guy uh ryan callahan will come with us yannis putellas who's one of the other guides that uh that uh ranella uses and you know we find a place to go like we went turkey hunting a couple weeks ago that was was up in Napa. It was fucking crazy. Yeah, I think you told me about that. That was great.

Because we would go turkey hunting the other day, and then we'd go to, like, the best restaurants in the world at night. That's what I was thinking. Oh, so good. See, I would go there. I would do that. I wouldn't do the island thing. Well, turkey hunting's easy, too. It's great.

Well, maybe not easy for you. Are there wild turkeys in nature? Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That must sound like such a stupid question. No, it's a good question. When the fuck do you ever see a wild turkey in West Hollywood? Go to your apartment.

I don't see a wild turkey on the way to your house. I see pigeons. You stick a rubber turkey in the ground, like a female turkey, and you've got to hide because turkeys have really good eyesight so you wear camo and i wear like a ghillie suit on my face and you know you're like completely tucked away behind this uh this mesh camo background like everything is like completely designed to to camouflage you from these birds and um minimal movement you can't move they see you move in the fucking bolt they're out of there and you put the rubber turkey in the ground You got a pop Make these weird hen turkey noises have all these different kinds of turkey call

things that they use to try to generate the sound to call these fuckers in and Then the turkey comes in to check out the rubber turkey and blast them boom They have to shoot him in the head shoot him in the head with a shotgun so you save his body for food exactly yeah you shoot him in the body then you're gonna be pecking pellets out of the body but i i shot him perfect diet thing about a turkey there's no danger you're missing and him attacking you that's true that's true even a deer will fuck you up if everything goes wrong what is it The wild boar that's so dangerous? Oh, they're definitely dangerous.

Wild pigs. Yeah. Yeah, wild boars have these big, crazy tusks. You know, Doug Stanhope told me, I didn't even know this. Doug Stanhope told me that his next door neighbor's dog got killed by javelinas. Do you know what a javelina is? This fucked up looking pig looking thing. It's actually from a family called the Peckery.

It looks like it's a pig. It's like a distant cousin of a pig apparently. Obviously I'm not a biologist. But there it is. There's a javelina. Never saw that before. Those fucking evil cunty looking things. They killed his neighbor's dog.

Look at the tusks. You see the teeth? Look at up there. Look at their fucking tusks. Holy, look at the tusks. You see the teeth? Look up there. Look at their fucking tusks. Holy shit. They're like monsters. Yeah, they're freaky. Remember that joke, Joe?

Look at those fucking teeth. Jesus. Oof. Look at those lower fucking fangs. What were we saying? Remember that joke about the Irish kid goes up to his father and he says, can I get $5 for a guinea pig? His father goes, here's $10.

Get yourself a nice Irish girl. People don't know what guinea means. No. As soon as I heard the word pig. Guinea's going out of style. You don't hear that anymore. It's definitely not on the West Coast. Not on the West Coast.

In the East Coast you hear it. Yeah, I still hear it. Hey, you guinea bastard, I love you. Yeah, but it's okay. We call each other guineas, and it's all right. Italians are very, they're not thin-skinned about names. No. You grow up being abused constantly. Hey, a little one.

I never, you know, I mean, the Irish are not thin-skinned either. No. Well, you know, they, one point in time were minorities. I mean, it's interesting when you watch. There's a parallel to boxing because if you look at boxing in the United States, it's always the immigrants that are at the lower end of the social ladder that were really the best at boxing. They were fighting their way out. It was Jews for a long time.

There was a lot of Jewish boxers. You know, that's one thing that— There were a lot of Jewish basketball players too. Yeah, I heard that. There was a lot of Jewish basketball players back in know, that's one thing. There were a lot of Jewish basketball players, too. Yeah, I heard that. Brett Auerbach and all, you know, his generation before that. Yeah, that's interesting. Well, Jews still are big basketball fans. Like, Sussman's a huge basketball fan.

There's a lot of Jews in New York, especially, that just love basketball. Woody Allen. He's had every fucking basketball game. Oh, yeah, Woody Allen's every game. With his daughter slash wife. You know that Sussman story about Steve

Steve Schrippa which one Steve Schrippa you know Steve Schrippa for everybody he's on the Sopranos terrific actor

good friend yeah he was Bacala Richie is that what his name was on the Sopranos big guy big guy

really funny and he was working in Vegas this is the time before he was acting. And, you know, Steve knew everybody in Vegas could get everything comped. And I remember us and him saying, Steve, we're going to go to Lake Mead on Saturday. You want to go?

He goes, no, I can't go, but I can comp you a boat. And Jeff says to me, who the fuck can comp a boat other than Sharippo? I forgot about that. I remember that, though, now. Yeah, Sharippo. I forgot about that. I remember that though now. Yeah, Sharippo used to run, before he became a big actor on The Sopranos, he used to run The Riviera.

He was a talent booker at The Riviera, which was the first place in Vegas I ever worked. Was it? He was hilarious. He still is hilarious. He's a fucking hilarious dude.

Yeah, he's hilarious. I'm going to get him on the podcast. We've been trying to work out a date because he's always writing books and shit. He's always got something new coming out, but I love that guy. He's always been books and shit he's always got something new coming out but i love that guy he's always been great too he's a fucking hilarious guy well he has no gray in him he either hates you yeah loves you yeah that's it uh he's an animal too i remember we were in the riviera showroom and some guy uh threw a cigarette on the ground and and and stepped on it like inside the show And he fucking screamed to this guy in front of everybody,

you fucking moron, what are you doing? You're going to light this place on fire, you stupid fuck? Like, pick it up. Like, this is a guy who's, you know, a patron. Right. He's telling the guy to pick it up. You know, Sherpa's enormous. He's a giant, too.

Very big. And so the guy came over and picked it up and immediately went back to his seat. But he was always this character, like this really funny character. And I believe Drew Carey gave him his first break. Like Drew Carey put him in something. Like they were friends because Sharippa used to book the RIV. And then like you could see, like I feel like it was like the opening of one of Drew Carey's comedy specials.

Maybe it was. You know, I had a pilot called Dom Times maybe it was you know i had a pilot called dom time and it was like a sports uh talk show and steve was my announcer i asked him to be my announcer and this is before i had any idea he was even interested in it because he had that voice everybody you know tom i rare how are you yeah he's just a fucking character, man. Yeah. Just such a character. And then all of a sudden, he's on The Sopranos. And I was like, whoa, and he's fucking killing it. I mean, dramatic acting, really good. Oh, he's done great.

But no experience. Well, he worked hard. He works with my friend Joanne Bexson. Remember Joanne? Yeah. She teaches acting. And I remember reading the sides for The Sopranos with him in Montreal. And he started to act.

And I remember saying to him, Steve, don't act. They want you. They want you. This is what they want. You're already a character. You don't need to act like, you know, another character. Just be yourself. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it's cool when something like that happens. I love seeing someone somebody just take off. Like all of a sudden they're doing great. I just love that. I love knowing a guy when they're struggling and then seeing them when they're awesome. That's one of the most pleasurable things to me. And there are certain guys that kind of everybody's happy for.

Yeah. Like Ray Romano when he. Sure. And you know Billy Gard gardell he's a great guy great guy and billy his manager said you know you're so popular even the bitter guys are happy for you something like that it's true i never hear a bad word about billy he's a great guy he's in a weird situation man because that melissa mccarthy chick that he's on that show with his fucking huge. Yeah, but he's in every movie Yeah, she's very hot, but he takes it. He enjoys it for me. He's cool

Oh, no, no doubt, but I'm saying it's it's it's so weird. They're like he's a really good stand-up Yeah, and he's a very good actor too for whatever reason everybody's paying attention only to her I mean the whole show was kind of written right? He's like straight man yeah for her wacky antics you know yeah she's in a big movie now i feel bad for her in some sort of strange way i feel bad for her because she's so big you know i just like she jokes around about it and she she talks about you know how she's having a great time and i imagine she is she's a huge star she's got to get a lot of joy out of killing and having people love her and being so funny. Because she's really fucking funny. I mean, she makes that show really funny, too.

She's really talented. But she's so big. She's so big and just so unhealthy. And I see all that extra meat on her. Just all that gelatinous, sloppy, wiggling. I happen to be a chubby chicken. Are you really? No.

No. But I don't mind that. No, you do very well. I happen to be a chubby chaser. Are you really? No. No. But I don't mind that. No, you do very well. A lot of people would be surprised. Tom O'Reilly was always done very well. I don't know. I do my best, Joe. Whatever happened to that Comedy Central show you did on football?

That was a great fucking show, and I don't even like football. You know what it was? It was ahead of its time in the sense that Comedy Central wasn't as big then. And frankly, the show's ratings were good. It was called Offsides. But the NFL is so fucking rich that they charge so much for the clips that it wasn't worth it for Comedy Central. Really? So that's why it died.

It didn't die a miserable, unpopular death. It was popular when it went down. And they still cut a lot of it into NFL films now. So, like, I woke up the other morning. I saw my face with a leather helmet on. And the first thing I thought of was, look how thin my face was. Like I told you, you got the drop coming up in Atlantic City. I'm going down.

I was in Philly at Thanksgiving. I'm going down. I was in Philly at Thanksgiving. I'm going down to shore, and I see my picture on a billboard. And instead of going, look at that. I'm a fucking kid from Philly. I'm on a billboard. I thought, look how fucking thin my face was. Where did I get this fucking head fat? You could lose it.

You just have to make a decision. But I'm so hungry, Joe. I understand. But, like, the decision I made, I don't know. No, you're right. It's hard. About whether eating healthy is... Yeah.

It's everything. For me, it's everything. I went, like I'll go on a streak of like three or four days where I don't eat that healthy and I feel, I really do feel dull. Like my mind feels dull. The healthiest thing I eat is lean meat. Lean meat's very healthy. But I mean, I really don't, I love bacon.

I love bacon too. i'm a huge fan of bacon i love it i just think that you need moderation well it's just i think you and i also we're both uh very i think every comic essentially that we know we're very indulgent i think that's a characteristic of comedians it's very very self-indulgent, very indulgent, very impulsive. Comics tend to do wild, wacky things. You're like, all of a sudden I'm in this fucking car, and I'm hanging out with these broads. That's the story that every comic has.

Crazy, wild, we're doing coke, drinking. Every comic has some crazy, indulgent story. Like you, I'm setting my alarm clock for 6 p.m. so I can be at my show at 8 yeah you know well you have the best of both worlds because you got a family life and that well I'm pretty disciplined I but I could get indulgent but I'm saying you go on the road and you have a good excuse going or you're not going honey I'm going on the road just to fuck around right for a real job for real money and but you have the luxury you don't have to get up and

do morning radio now that's a big one't have to get up and do morning radio now. That's a big one for me. I still have to do morning radio to plug the dates. That's hard. Because people are like, oh, you poor baby, you got to do radio. The problem is it fucks with your sleep cycle, and then that dulls your brain, too. Yeah, you're getting up at 3 in the morning your time. Yeah.

Hangovers dull my brain, too. If I'm hungover and I try to go on stage, I am just not as good. Joe, I've never seen you drunk. I don't get that drunk. I try not to. I mean, I've been a little lit up, but I've never been. Well, I mean, I certainly have in my day, but I just don't make a practice out of it. I just am too aware of the consequences physically.

I do too much stuff with my body. You know, it'd be like if I had a really nice car and I was just like, it'd be fun to piss in that gas tank. Well, I know what's going to happen in the fucking car. Right. You know, I'd like a, you know, a shot and a beer. But that's like kind of where it ends. Maybe I'll have a third drink. We're going to have a drink tonight?

Let's have a cocktail, gentlemen. We're going to have a drink. It's a sold out show, Dom Herrera. We're going to have a good time. Greg Fitzsimmons, Ian Edwards. Is that the show? You and myself. Oh, that's a sold out show, Dom Herrera. We're going to have a good time. Greg Fitzsimmons, Ian Edwards. Is that the show? You and myself. Oh, that's a great show.

Oh, we're going to have a good time. The greatest club in the world. That's the oldest comedy club on the earth. Really? Mm-hmm. The Ice House is the oldest comedy club in America. And of course, sorry everybody in the rest of the world, but we invented this shit.

Stand-up comedy is an American invention. Yeah, but the Laugh Factory guarantees laughs. You see the difference? Buddy, I guarantee. You didn't laugh, I laughed. Sorry. I didn't guarantee for you. How can you guarantee laughs?

That's ridiculous. I know. Throw your money back. Dave Chappelle was on stage the other night at the Comedy Store. He was very funny. Buddy, he was doing this bit about a bad show that he had you know where people would be like, you know God it must be so hard. This is recently. Yeah, he had a fucking

Terrible show He's had a couple of those because you know Dave's got kind of a slow pace and if he gets heckled or if you people will Heckle him and fuck with him like sometimes it goes bad you know and it can go bad because he's so famous too it's like it becomes like this event that he's there it's not just did he do real long the other night no no he did like he popped in i want to say he did like 20 minutes wow but he fucking destroyed and he had the but he had the bit about uh bombing and he goes he goes man it must be terrible what happens what happens when you get off stage i mean it must be awful nothing happens

just well it didn't work out i still get paid either way he goes i get paid for the attempt it was really funny it was it was fucking hilarious he did had a joke about floyd mayweather too i don't know if this really happened but whit Whitney Cummings, he said Whitney Cummings yelled out in the middle of the Floyd Mayweather fight. She stood up, Floyd Mayweather beats women. And he goes, and men, too, bitch. And he's laughing while he's doing it. He's like such a jovial.

Did he smoke? Oh, he smokes a lot of cigarettes. He smokes on Did he smoke? Oh, he smokes a lot of cigarettes. He smokes on stage, right? Oh, he smokes a lot of cigarettes. Yeah. He smokes a lot of cigarettes, and he believes a lot of conspiracies. I believe he is one of the people that believes that Bill Cosby was somehow set up. Set up by 30 women?

I don't think he believes that Bill Cosby didn't do it, but I think that there's some folks out there... I had an argument with a dude last night at the comic store about this that works for Live Nation, a fine fellow, not a bad human, but he's perhaps been hanging around with the wrong crowd. And he said,

don't you think it's suspicious that it all happened like this right when his show comes out? I go, he's fucking 70, okay? He's had a career that's lasted since the 1960s he had a series in the 1960s yeah i spy right yeah yeah i mean come on man no it's not a conspiracy that's going to try to sabotage his career after a hundred fucking years at the top you know how hard it was for a black man to get a series that wasn't comedically about like a step and fetch a type black guy in those days. He was a cop, right?

Wasn't he? He was a detective, yeah. That hurts me. That one hurts me. It really hurts me having daughters too. I've heard it from people before. Girls will tell you that they got roofied. And it's always like, it's always terrifying.

But somehow or another, like the girl is telling you he's okay, and they're right in front of you. And you go, wow, it's hard for me to connect to this. God, it's awful, and it's terrible, but it's hard for me to connect to this. I know it's real, and I know it happens. But when I heard that Bill fucking Cosby was drugging and raping women allegedly, I should say, allegedly. They can't make up that many stories. You could. You certainly could. You could get 30 crazy

bitches, but I don't think they are. But they're not organized. No, no, no. I mean, I'm not saying that they are. I'm saying you certainly could. If somebody like some crazy Bill Gates type character wanted to pay 30 people to come up with the same story they could certainly do all right right i'm not saying

that they did yeah but i mean that's beside the point i mean i'm just trying to be as open-minded as possible i'm not a denier in any way shape or form but what what freaks me out is that this is a guy that was loved by fucking millions millions and they loved him as this fatherly sweater wearing don't tell dirty jokes you know like that famous thing from the eddie murphy special where he's you know getting mad at eddie murphy yeah richard pryor tells him to not worry about it but apparently apparently he did that to Cat Williams. That really bothered me. Chris Rock, rather. That really bothered me, the way he treated the young black guys because of their language.

And then you find out he's a felon, an unconvicted felon. Yeah. Well, he's a rapist. Let's say it right. You know, Joe, when I first started, I was on Star Search, and he was the guest host. And I heard shit about him then same thing no no just just he was a you know he was married but he was a womanizer and like you know but there was something creepy about him even in those days so well you know that's a long time ago yeah i

mean there's a big step between a womanizer and a rapist yeah Yeah, I know. The womanizer is a guy who's an enthusiast. He enjoys the ladies. He enjoys the broads. It's hard. But there's just there's a lack of humanity in someone who's willing to drug a woman. It's so fucking evil. We were talking about rape

and I was saying that there's no way I could rape somebody because I have too much compassion. And I could never hurt somebody. Like, you know, I know it sounds like, oh, big deal, you couldn't rape somebody. But I don't even fucking get it. Like, how you could be that evil to get hard seeing somebody cry and stuff, you know? Yeah.

God, I'm bringing this podcast down. No, no, you're not. You know, I think what we were talking about earlier about divas About this you know get out of my way. I'm better than everyone else I think they're related because I think there's a there's a level of stardom that some people reach That gets the world gets very foggy like obviously Cher is a very nice person And she's a very kind person to you and very easy to get along but Detached because of her fame her fame and because of her popularity well to the point where she feels alienated.

She was a star at 19. She never knew the real world. That's right. Yeah, Sonny and Cher, man. Fuck. That's crazy if you think about it that way. She's been famous for so long you kind of forget. 19, she was a big star.

That's nuts. Gypsies, tramps and thieves. That's what the people of the town call us. I love that song. But it's in tune. But she's a nice person. You know what I'm saying? Like she made it through that and stayed a nice person,

even though she's a quote unquote diva. She's a diva because she's extraordinarily talented and very respected and loved and all that good stuff. But that thing that makes you like everyone out of my way, you know, that whether it would Diana Ross did it and you saw the Whitney Houston thing, the bodyguards pushing everybody to the side. Yeah, the Streisand thing. John Mellencamp.

He did that? John Mellencamp, friend of mine, Omar. Not the tent maker, another Omar. From The Wire? No. He's telling me that he was stage managing, and you weren't allowed to talk to him. You had to talk to his manager, and he would say it,

like right next to him. And there's a guy like the blue-collar, gritty guy. You know, they didn't like him in Indiana. I was in Indiana for a fight, and they showed John Mellencamp's picture, and the fucking whole crowd booed. Why is that? That's what I said. And they said because he's a liberal.

Oh, really? Because he's, I don't know what he did or said. I don't know what, I don't know. I don't know what it is. But, man, there was like a bunch of boos, and I couldn't believe it. I was like, this is John Mellencamp. Like, we're in Indianapolis. He's from this area. Yeah yeah I was born in a small town you know that's him that's why he gives that that's why he like of all them those women that were talked about I wasn't surprised by

any of them but by John Mellencamp I thought he was like the gritty right right like Bruce Springsteen is notoriously personable like if you talk to Bruce Springsteen is notoriously personable. Like if you talk to Bruce Springsteen, like Brian Callen had a conversation with Bruce Springsteen. He said, you talk to that guy and you would think that he's a fucking, you know, whatever. He owns a company or he's a fucking banker or he's a normal dude. But obviously charismatic and interesting and intelligent, but he doesn't have any airs about him.

I was doing Cone and Bruce came up to visit Max, the drummer. You know, they're in the same group. And I know you know that. But Bruce comes up to me, and he says, you know, something about stand-up. And I said, have you ever opened for anybody? He goes, yes, I have. And I said, you know what? I would never, ever open for you.

He said, why? I said, what a fucking nightmare. I said, the curtain goes down and they're all going Bruce. Then the curtain comes up and I'm standing there with a mic and they're going, you're not Bruce. We want Bruce. Whoever the fuck you are, get away.

That's a hard thing when you're opening for somebody when they want the other person. That's a shitty thing to say, too. I've seen people open for other comics and, you know, bring out, you know, Tosh. Or bring out, you know, Russell Peters. Well, Sherry used to have me on the bill. So it wasn't like I was surprised. I was on the bill. I was on the marquee. That's big. Yeah. That's big. That's different. So that, yeah. So people prepare, they know you're part of the program. Well, you remember the whole Bill Burr thing? The Philly thing. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

you know, that started with me yeah you know that story yeah well those ona crowds the pests who i'd love but those guys are fucking notoriously mean they're notoriously mean if things go bad but the thing that happened was they were so drunk all they waited with all they wanted was jim norton and i love jim norton right even he the only one that had a great set was Bill because he berated the fucking people. Right, right.

And I even told him, a couple people booed me. I says, you know what? Make it $12,000 for 10 minutes. Go back to your mother's basement, you fucking retards. You know, with your emaciated

Lazarus looks. And then I got a cheer and Bill was still mad. He goes, he says to me, like I don't know on me, he goes, they booed Dom Moreira? I go, Bill, I am Dom Moreira.

Don't worry about it. And I went on the speaker, and I just sat there. I was crying, laughing. And the funniest thing he said, he put down everything, the Eagles, the Flyers. The Liberty Bell. Yeah, fuck the Liberty Bell. Fuck the Liberty Bell. He was talking about how racist they are.

They've got all the best boxers in the world. You go after a fictitious white guy who's 5'5". You know what he said to me? He said he had to stop doing them because people expected him to lay into them. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there was a point in time after that where that became what he was known for. It could get bad. You could go bad like that.

You could get stuck in a character. There's guys that are stuck in characters. Oh, gosh. Dice is stuck in a character. Imagine being a 70-year-old Dice. I think he's funny. I know you and him have problems. I like him.

There's certain times in life you have friends that don't like each other. That's just one of those deals. He's a friend? I'm a way better friend of you. I'll tell you right now. But I am friends with Dice. I like Dice. As long as they're not equal.

But I love you. Thank you. I love you too. You're my brother. Right back at ditto, my friend. But like, you know, he kind of became that guy. For folks who don't know, Andrew Silverstein was Andrew Silverstein. And Andrew Silverstein used to go on stage and used to have a variety of different impressions.

He used to do a tremendous John Travolta. John Travolta was excellent. He's an excellent actor. Very good actor. Very good impressionist. He would do all these things. And then he would do the Dice Man! Oh!

And I jizzed all over his head. The jizz. And the Dice Man character in his act. Well, you know who that's from? Buddy Love. What's that? Buddy Love was in The Nutty Professor. That character's directly derivative from that.

Really? Yeah. He was doing... Buddy Love in The Nutty Professor. Is that... The Nutty Professor is Jerry Lewis, and he takes a serum and changes it to a different guy? Well, when he changed it... I need to see that.

When he changed it to that guy, that's the character the dice became. Really? Jamie, illuminate the world. Jerry Lewis, Nutty Professor, Buddy Love. I need to see this. I will be in Kilkenny in two weeks. Are you going to go there? Ireland?

Oh, you son of a bitch. I love it. I performed in Dublin and Belfast, Northern Ireland. Oh, did you? Love it up there. I've never been to Belfast. Animals. They call me the godfather of Kilkenny. Look at this.

Okay, find it. But look, the way he looks. So he became like a slick guy? Is that what it is? Well, yeah. See if you can find something. Hmm. Jerry Lewis as Buddy Love. Taxman's taking

all my dough. We've got a world that swings. Whoa. Oh, my God, it is. Give me some volume here. Wow, he comes out as a cool guy with a cigarette. His hair's slicked back.

Wow, look at the people in the audience back then. The chick was beautiful. Up at dawn and sleepy and yawning Wow, look at the people in the audience back then. The chick was beautiful. What kind of bullshit is this? This just shows you how culture evolves. Have you ever seen the... look how hot she is. Good fucking googly moogly.

But the broad on the left of her is going to cock block. Jerry's going to try to make nice to her. Come over and say hi. And the other one's going to drool all over him. But yeah, he is kind of like. You got to see the character. The character. See if you can find it. He admitted that he was doing buddy love. Really? Yeah, he never said that it was the character. The character. I mean, he's... See if you can find it. He admitted that he was doing Buddy Love.

Really? Yeah, he never said that it was, you know, his character. I'm almost positive on that. Wow. I did not know. I never saw the Nundie Professor. It was one of his many impressions. I never even saw the Eddie Murphy version.

No, I didn't see Eddie's. I saw Jerry Lewis's. I never saw it. So that... Believe you me. Sit and listen and watch. That old black magic. Mood is wrong. M never saw it. So that... Sit and listen and watch. That old black magic. Mood is wrong. Innkeeper. Got sexy lights?

Lay it on me. How come... Better. We were talking about this the other day. How come nobody cared about girls' asses back then? Have we moved a picture? Well, they cared about his tits. There was no big asses back then. Girls weren't doing squats. Like, you go to girls' Instagram pages, they're all wearing fucking yoga pants.

Marilyn Monroe's ass. She couldn't even be one of the fly girls. How about that? How about that? Jane Mansfield, Marilyn Monroe. Those girls, I mean, they had a different kind of body. They were obviously very beautiful. But they did not have, like, there's some ridiculous Instagram girls that have, like,

2 million followers on instagram and they have these giant butts like look at marilyn and moreau's ass yeah get close up on that it didn't work out like women today that's what i'm saying dom what happened i mean that's not a badass that's a very nice ass you wouldn't fuck marilyn moreau i would certainly do that but it's a little on the flat side i'd have to look at her i'd have to flip her over i'd have to look her eye to eye which is fine with me. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it She's beautiful lady. I don't think that's her at her best either. But it's just there that's actually pretty good much her back's arched up there Left down down right in the middle. There you go. Yeah, but still like you compare that to like

The style of body that women aspire to today. I mean, everyone was like the hourglass figure. Well, the hourglass is very different shaped now. Like you look at like the fucking Jennifer Lopez style asses. Oh, I love her body. Yeah, I mean, girls have just different asses now. I mean, and it's like really. The ass has evolved.

It has. I mean, girls never had asses now. I mean, and it's like really... The ass has evolved. It has. I mean, girls never had asses like that. This is like a big thing. Like, we want big, muscular asses now, whereas, like, if you look at, like, Playboy from just a few years ago, there was no girls that had big, giant asses like that. It was...

It didn't exist. This is a new fad, Don. I'd rather her ass be a little big than too small. Oh, definitely. I like girls with a little body fat on them. I think it's sexy. Sickest thing I ever heard was a comedian friend of mine. He goes, oh, fuck.

She had such a nice ass. It was like a little boy's. Holy fucking scary freak. What the fuck? Did you find any buddy love? It's got to exist. It's the YouTube. The YouTube has everything, god damn it.

I just found the full movie. Oh, okay. All right. Cut through that shit. Get to the heart of the matter. So in The Nutty Professor, did he take like a potion and he became this cool guy? That's what it was. It was just real real let's hear him geeky

it's just weird the style of of movies and a lot of entertainment like when he was sitting there singing that terrible song in front of all those people it's like people actually went to see something like that and they enjoyed it you know the world has changed in so many weird ways man You know, the world has changed in so many weird ways, man. So many weird ways that it's like, it's hard to keep up with it, or it's hard to put it into perspective unless you go back and watch old stuff. Is this his character? Yeah. Yeah.

Here it is. She's crazy about me also. Now, lost weekend, Junior. You've ordered your drink. About last night. Would you like to explain what happened? I told you I was going to tell you. It's, uh... Why don't we kind of table it a while, sweetie, huh? I mean, all the kids are kind of waiting, you know. It's dullsville out.

I'll be back. You take five. And I love you, love you baby mean it sincerely you wait for me huh oh there you are sweets thanks a lot so all these girls come running up to the table and he's gonna play the piano he's drinking does a shot He's got something She's gorgeous isn't she I need to find out what it is He's got something I think I'll do a

Do a tune that I'm gonna Record for a Poverty record Sounds like Sinatra a little Well his formula is wearing off right Isn't that what's supposed to be happening here He's like Mr. right? Isn't that what's supposed to be happening here? Yeah, yeah. He's like Mr. Cool Guy. Isn't that hilarious?

The idea that he can't continue to act like this, that it's impossible. What a stupid premise. See, it's coming out. Ah! Hey! Hi, lady! Riboflavin. Riboflavin.

What's happening? Look, she's turning to her friend. What's happening? I think that'll be it for a while. What's happening? Look, she's turning to her friend. What's happening? She's gotta run away and turn back to the professor. The nerdy professor who can't get the girls. Boy, movies suck back then. Jesus Christ. Could you imagine?

I mean, that's almost like a parody of a movie. Yeah. I mean, it's almost like a parody. Have you ever seen, like, some of the old Liberace stuff? Back when Liberace was a heartthrob? No. Oh, my God. Pull up when Liberace winks at me. This is one of my favorite things. When I think about... He acted like he was straight, Joe? Oh, my God. Pull up when Liberace winks at me.

This is one of my favorite things. When I think about it. He acted like he was straight, Joe? Oh, yeah. Forever. For the longest time. They would always ask him, Liberace, when are you going to get married? Well, I'm just trying to find the right girl. But it's hard.

But when you watch this, when you watch him, and you realize, when Liberace winks at me, this was like, crank this shit. I like when guys that are gay try and act like they're straight. Look at this. This is a girl sitting at home. She's writing a fan letter. And Liberace's on the TV. And watch when he winks.

It makes a crazy noise. Like, watch this. Look at this. You've got the other thing playing on the background, Jamie. Hold on. Get it together, bitch. Hold on. Pause it.

Don't go to your Twitter. Jesus Christ, you fuck. Jeremiah Watkins. How dare you. What have you done? You've ruined this whole Liberace moment. What have you done? Here we go. Go back to it.

It's a feeling very close to ecstasy So natural. Look at this. Here we go. Go back to it. So natural. Look at this. Get it, liver. Look at that clink when he winks. I start to stammer, and my pulse starts to pound like a hammer. I'm bewitched as any fool can plainly see. That's what happens when Liberace winks at me. Here it comes. Listen to this.

You can't compare to the sound of my hand. Oh, good. The clink when he winks is just so weird. And when he sits there at It's just so weird. I mean, okay, I can kill it. But I mean, he didn't even sing, you know, this. The girl sang and his famous thing was playing the guitar. Or playing the piano, rather.

But it was enough. That's all you needed. I mean, there he didn't. I mean, he sang in some other songs, right? I don't remember him singing you needed i mean there he didn't i mean he's saying some other songs i don't remember he sang right didn't liberace sing somewhere over the rainbow he had to have sung man maybe he didn't i don't remember him singing really that doesn't mean he didn't sing i wasn't a big fan growing up a huge fan i was a big fan you had a poster right next to the farrah fawcett poster I wasn't a big fan growing up. You were a huge fan. I was a big fan. You had a poster right next to the Farrah Fawcett poster.

But it's weird when you look at old culture, when you look at things that were just... Here he goes. Is he singing? He's singing. The Liberace Show. He's not mic'd. People who need people. Oh, he's talking the song.

They're the luckiest people. Oh, kill that. Kill that before we both turn gay. We could all turn gay just watching that. That fucking documentary or that movie, rather, they did about him for HBO with Matt Damon and... What the fuck's his name? Kirk Douglas or Michael Douglas? Oh, Michael Douglas, yeah.

Jesus Christ, that was good. Did you ever see that? No, no. Oh. I heard it was really good. So good. So good and so crazy. Who played Liberace?

Douglas. Douglas? Yeah, Michael Douglas and Matt Damon played his boyfriend. Oh, God, that must have been funny. He's such a good actor. He's a good actor. But he had all this crazy plastic surgery

to look like Liberace, the boyfriend did, in real life. So they got all this prosthetics on Matt Damon to make his chin stick out. And at the beginning of the film, he's beautiful Matt Damon, how he really looks. But then as the film goes on, yeah, look at him. He starts to get all of this plastic surgery. Yeah, see if they have. He looks like a news, looks like this plastic surgery. Yeah, see if they have... He looks like a news... He looks like Diane Sawyer.

Yeah. I shouldn't say that. It was really good. It's really good. Because I don't think it was too overblown. I think it was really, like, fairly realistic. Imagine how much fun he had playing that. I don't know if you remember Hollywood Shuffle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to play it yeah a gay friend of mine who i went to college with and it was his name was called benny the benny and the reason i got the character was my wife and i were going down to a college reunion and this is when he got gayer and gayer because he's a hairdresser on the roadway and he's a really good dude he's driving me down and i go benny you want a beer he goes goes, no thanks, Don, but you have one. He did that little laugh. Whatever happened to Robert Townsend?

He's another one. I don't know. That guy was a killer. Remember he used to do those HBO specials where he'd have all the different comics up? And he had these elaborate sets, and he was hosting it, and he had all those movies. The movie was so funny with Damon and Keenan Wayans and John Witherspoon and he had a bunch of good movies We had but with Joe we shot that movie we were fucking crying laughing. What happened to him man. I don't know Fuck you know he stole a bit of mine, and that's how I got in the movie here remember my school for Italians

Yeah, is there a school where teach Italians how to be more Italian. Yeah, yeah. And he had a school for actors, black actors, teaching black actors how to be more black, right? So it was basically a ripoff. Right. And we're watching a Georgetown-Villanova game at his house, and he shows me this thing.

And I said, well, Robert, he wanted me to do a part in a movie, but he was also showing me. I just wanted to let you know. I kind of borrowed something. I said, well, Robert, he wanted me to do a part in a movie, but he was also showing me. I just wanted to let you know I kind of borrowed something. I said, but that's mine. I said, you know, why do you even let him do it? And he goes, I never saw you do it. I go, we worked together every fucking night. We did improvs on stage together.

How could you not see it? Your mind shut down? It wasn't in pain. People will say that. People will say that. I've seen guys say that, that work with guys and then steal a bit and say, I never saw you do it. Like, bitch, you saw him do it.

Oh, yeah. You saw him do it a hundred times, maybe. That was a big thing at the Laugh Factory. That was one of the reasons why I stopped going to the Laugh Factory. It doesn't happen anywhere. You should come back. Oh, by the way, June 9th, if you're available. What day is that?

It's a Tuesday. It's my next one. I'm in. I'm in, Dom. I want to get you and Joey back again. It's my next one. I'm in. I'm in, Dom. I want to get you and Joey back again. Oh, wait a minute. Yeah. No, I'm good.

Oh, good. Yeah. The 9th, I'll be... Yeah, I'm in Irvine that weekend. Yeah, I'm in. We'll get Diaz with us. Let's do it. I love Diaz.

Let's do it. Diaz was on fucking fire last night. The funniest guy in the world, ever. He's the funniest guy of all time. Fucking great. Last night at the fucking OR in the comedy store, I was crying. I mean, tears were rolling down my hair, my eyes, rather. Does he say your whole name, too?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Don Marrera. Listen, Don Marrera. I'll tell you right now, these fucking bitches, they got nothing for me. Yeah, he sells everybody. Everybody's full name. How great is it to see a guy like him peaking now?

I love it. I love it. Well, you know, I was the biggest Joey Diaz supporter of all time. I would take him on the road with me when agents, I used to have this old agent that fucking hated Joey. And he would say, I just don't think the guy's talented. I don't know why you're taking him with him. You're out of your mind. I go, you're out of your mind.

I think this guy's holding you back. I think it makes your show look bad. Please shut the fuck up. You don't know what you're talking about. Just stop. Just stop talking. And that guy has vanished. That's very generous of you.

I mean, you did it with Ari. And I love those guys. But I mean, it was great that you had the power and the unselfishness to help those guys' careers. Well, one of the things about the Comedy Store, where we all work on a regular basis, we get to see guys who are good and guys who are not good. And Ari said to me once, when you took me on the road, I wasn't funny. I go, that's not true. You were funny.

You just weren't funny all the time. But the times you were funny, you were really fucking funny. Remember Eskiju? Yeah. That was great. Ari's a fucking great comic he just needed to develop i mean it's all it is but he had that ability to like i mean maybe it would be like two out of three bits would be killer and one of them wouldn't be so hot but those two were fucking killing you, most comics are notoriously hard on themselves. Like, I'm very, very self-critical.

Like, it's one of the reasons why I don't like compliments. I'm just, I'm always, I dissect the shit out of my act. But it's also one of the, what makes it good. It's because I try to cut it out and trim the fat. So that's like Ari's opinion as well. He was like looking at himself, like I wasn't good back then. I was like, that's not true. You had the ability to be very, very funny. It just like, look at himself. He was like, I wasn't good back then. I was like, that's not true. You had the ability

to be very, very funny. It just didn't always work out. It's because you were still learning to be a comic. I knew that. I knew that about Duncan. I knew that about Diaz. And I knew that about Ari. Because I saw them there all the time. I knew they had it. They just had to do it. Yeah, I didn't know.

I especially didn't know Duncan because he never mentioned it. I would call him for spots. He would take my spots down. We always had a good know. I mean, I especially didn't know Duncan because he never mentioned it. I would call him for spots. He would take my spots down. We always had a good time. I always liked the kid. He never even told me he was a comedian. Then all of a sudden he's doing an X-ray to ventriloquist. Well, the satanic ventriloquist.

Little Hobo? Yeah, Little Hobo was fucking awesome. Somebody stole Little Hobo. He had to get a new Little Hobo. Oh, God. Who the fuck would steal your puppet? Some asshole. Whoever you are, you fuck. I hope Little Hobo ha He had to get a new Little Hobo. Oh, God. Who the fuck would steal your puppet? Some asshole. I hope whoever you are, you fuck.

I hope Little Hobo haunts you in your sleep. Stole Little Hobo. How rude. Yeah, he's, uh, those guys are just, but I just, you know, I got to see them in the beginning. You know, I got to see them. I got to see Duncan, like, one of his first times ever on stage. Ari, same thing. I got to see Ari when he was essentially an open mic-er.

We became friends when he was an open mic-er. And Diaz, he had had a few years in his belt in Denver and in Seattle. He had a few years. But he was still putting it together. But I just knew, man. I would just see those sparks, those moments. Remember when he was the voice where we're laughing at him at the Laugh Factory? When he just plants his feet

and just has that rant. He destroyed the Laugh Factory two weeks ago. Was it two weeks ago we did your show? Oh, he destroyed it, but I'm telling you it wasn't like last night.

Last night, I don't want to say the bits that he was doing because they're all new bits. I don't want to say what the premises were. Holy fuck, we were crying.

It was like, you know, The audience was pretty good size. Maybe 100 people, but all the comics in the back of the room. We were just crying. Just crying. Literally, tears pouring down my eyes. I watched this whole set and then went home. Adam said, it's so crazy. You've known that guy for so fucking long

and you still laugh that hard and you still go in and see his sets. He's free. He's better. He's free. He's so free. I remember he used to follow me at the lift at the comedy store. So we had like a small friendship, but we were always buddies. And he used to get so nervous.

Yeah. And he was so different. He really broke through, but it shows you about this. That doesn't happen to athletes. You don't break through at 40 or 50. Yeah, right? You've done. Yeah, it's interesting because Joey's like 51 now, I think, or 52.

He's never been better. Never been better. And didn't really catch for like, I want to say like five, six years ago, people starting to know who he was. And you know how I could tell the difference? When I would take him on the road. I'd take him on the road and people would, him on the road, and people would, like, I would do a theater or something like that,

and Joey would go on stage, and people just wouldn't know who he was. And they would start laughing after a while, but they would give a nice, polite round of applause when he got on stage. Now, when Joey goes on stage, I film it sometimes just to show people. I put it on YouTube. You could find it on YouTube. Find Joey Diaz going on stage. It's fucking insane.

I think Joey Diaz going on stage in Denver. One of the reasons why I did a theater in Denver was because Wendy had banned Joey. She uses him now. They smoothed it over, and he actually works at a club now. But he had some instance back in his old drug using days. He was out of his fucking mind. And they banned him from the club. You know, common shit. Richard Pryor's.

Sam Kinison got banned from the comedy store about a hundred times. I know. I was there. Joey goes on stage. And the fucking round of applause was so crazy. I had to film it. It was insane. They knew who he was.

And this was like two years ago, maybe, I want to say. So it was a few years in, and he was just starting to realize that they had caught on. So for the longest time, it's like I had been singing this guy's praises, and nobody knew who the fuck he was. They just didn't get it. And then finally, you find it? It's Toronto? All right.

No, it's not Toronto. That's me. That's me. Stop. No, that's not Joey Dia That's me. That's me. Stop. No, that's not Joey Diaz. That's Joe Rogan goes on stage at Massey Hall, you silly bitch. It's not me. Joey can't even get to Toronto.

Trust me. Joey. You got to say Joey Diaz goes on stage. There's a video. Son of a bitch. How dare you? He can't he can't get to Canada

yeah I know they won't let him in yeah he told me I was I was trying to work with him somewhere arm kidnapping yeah

he brings somebody to another room kidnapping and arm robbery he had a machine gun he stole coke from somebody did he really you know we

sometimes we we split the bill at the ice house him and I yeah yeah those are great shows a lot of fun I told you he said to me the first time Really? You know, sometimes we split the bill at the Ice House, him and I. Yeah, yeah. Those are great shows. A lot of fun. I told you what he said to me the first time we did it.

I said, Joe, whatever you want to do, you want to go on first, second, whatever. He goes, I'll tell you what, Don Marrera. Why don't you go to first show and go on first. Close the first show, close the second, so you don't have to follow a pig like me that late. And then you can go to the Laugh Factory and do another set. Not only are you giving me the easy spots, but you're right in my itinerary, too. He's a character.

There's nobody like that guy. I think we're very lucky, all of us are, just so we know each other. I feel very lucky that I know you. I enjoyed that moment we had with me, you, and him at the Comedy Store in the parking lot. Yeah. It's just fun and relaxing. Well, you know, Brian Cowan was talking about this the other night because his wife made him go on some fucking horrendous double date.

And he's hanging out with this guy who's just apparently really obnoxious and annoying. And his wife was like, I thought they were fine. And he goes, do you understand that I could be right now at the comedy store hanging out with the funniest people on earth? And I'm hanging out with this idiot who wants to, you know, brag about his boat or whatever the fuck he was talking about, some blowhard. So what's it like to bomb? That must be really, that must be, anybody ever ask you that?

Yeah. I get that. It's like, what's it like to bomb? How much do you think I'd fucking bomb if I work all over the world? We're going to get Don Marrero over here in New Zealand. I always say it's like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother. It's the best way to describe it. That's a nice image.

But the problem is. I don't have that kind of time. Maybe. That's a lot. We'll just be real quick. I'm not saying to climax. You know, you can get through 10 in a short period of time if you got a good head movement. We've got to get out of here. Your period of time if you got a good head movement.

We've got to get out of here. Your car's supposed to be picking you up right now. This motherfucker's probably angry. I'm at the Tropicana next Saturday. The Tropicana in Atlantic City, ladies and gentlemen. That's Dom Herrera's hood right next to powerful Philadelphia. Joseph, thank you for having me on. Thank you, my brother. See you tonight.

Love you, man. Yeah, we're going to have fun. We're at the Ice House sold out tonight. Sorry, bitches. But we'll probably be doing another show next Wednesday night, too, because I got a big Vegas show next Friday. I got to fucking tune up. E-I-O-I. A little bit of this.

E. Don Marrera, I love you, brother. Love you, too, man. All right, ladies and gentlemen. We'll be back tomorrow with Adam Scorgi, the producer of The Union and The Culture High, and he'll be here tomorrow. Thank you. That's fun.