The Joe Rogan Experience - #684 - Brian Redban

Episode Date: August 17, 2015

Brian Redban is a comedian and the founder of the Deathsquad podcast network. http://deathsquad.tv

Ah, freaks and freakettes, we're back. We're back with lots of stories, because the internet is filled with pleasurable news items. It's been a fun weekend, right? It's been a fun weekend for you. Brian loves a cause. Brian is sometimes a bit aimless, and when he finds a cause, boy, does he get excited. And his cause was this gentleman who calls himself the fat jewish or fat jew depending on uh who you ask and uh i you know what's really fucked up i was telling people to check out his instagram

because i'm like guys always get some funny stuff on there i didn't even think about where it came from because to me as a comic i guess like a self-centered thing like i think of like stealing jokes is like stealing like someone does stand up and they do jokes. I never thought of like memes as jokes, but they really are. And a lot of them are from like an individual page. Like this is a girl that he stole from. It's really funny. And I went to her page and it's all her own shit. And she's, what is her name?

Which one are you talking about? I've actually gone through the last 24 hours and have checked over almost 100 different people i've been researching well there's one of the ones that you retweeted uh one of the ones that i retweeted that you uh put up it was a girl an attractive young lady with dark brown hair i'll find it real quick but uh point being these people they they you know before brian was a stand-up comic when i met brian brian used to do like really funny videos and there was a time where you what is her name god damn it princess of wi-fi oh yeah yeah yeah hilarious yeah and it's super funny because i never even realized it it's a smart one where uh she posts a bunch of emojis and it says

shout out to the snail for facing the other way and because the one emoji animal that's not facing the same way as the snail yeah and so he pretty much just copied every single thing she did and put it on uh on his thing and it didn't credit her yeah it's time stamped and that's another thing nowadays everything's time stamped and so when i've been researching all these a lot of people have already researched this guy because he's been doing this for a while It's just never caught fire so fast as it did this weekend Well, we were talking about you the before you before I met you you were kind of like a Comedian on the internet before the internet was like that popular like you'd make funny videos right and

that's how we became friends um but like that thing people don't think of that as being a comedian like you think of a comedian has to go on stage not really because if you're this girl or this guy right here davin that's actually not the original person i found out this has been uh reported as david magwood being the one that originally wrote this lion tweet, which is going to start dressing like a lion so the cops know that if they kill me, white people will avenge me. That was actually written by somebody completely different. And that person's R Gay on Twitter, Roxanne Gay. And I retweeted it.

So this guy stole it from her? Stole it from her. But he was complaining that he wasn't getting credit yeah no really I mean this just happened we don't know though we don't know that is that what the time stamp true the time stamp on our gay is July 29th 2015 and Davin's is July 29th. Oh, wait. 9.05 p.m. is his and 11.44 a.m. is hers. Oh, so he saw it that day and stole it.

Yeah. Allegedly. Unless. Unless she reads minds. Maybe she's like time traveling. Or that's what I was going to say. Or she like lives in Japan and he lives in Hawaii or something. Does a time stand work't it work locally doesn't work and yeah, it does yeah doesn't work like that Yeah

Yeah, well that's fucked up that people are claiming They got stolen from and they how do people not know that this is gonna get out well the thing I've heard of fat Jew for a bit, and he's been thrown on TMZ a lot. He's been thrown on all these shows He's one of those guys that I've always got like how is this guy here like whose mom and dad is you know this guy but then uh then somebody he got signed to caa which is one of the biggest talent agencies here in los angeles and that immediately all the comedians came out of the woodwork like wait a second i can't even pay my rent and this guy's just got signed a Comedy Central deal, a book, a music deal with Apple.

He has his own show on Apple Beats 1, which is their new radio station. So they have a DJ who's just a plagiarist on their brand-new, fresh station. Yeah. So there's actually been so many reports like from like,

you know, the New York News, Washington Post, all these places have actually reported about him being a plagiarist for a while. Really?

But it's been one of those things where everyone kind of knew but it never, the internet never caught on. And so, this is amazing because like, there's one report

which is, you have to check out this website. I sent it to you. It's one report, which is you have to check out this website. I sent it to you. It's on Storify. It's Top 50 Jokes the Fat Jewish Bogarted from the Internet. And this is written. I mean, it's just 50 jokes.

Now, again, there's. This is 19 hours ago. So this is new. This is new, too. This is all coming out. This is all going down. Yeah. And now the first one's obviously wrong that they have on

there. And this is one thing that I've been doing the last couple days. I've actually been taking these... If you just put this much energy in your own life, you would be so much healthier. Everything would be great. You would be totally off smoking. You'd be going to the gym on a regular basis. You're right.

Drinking water. You're right. But, you know, with the Carlos Mencia video, I did that overnight when that happened. And it's an obsession when it's something that's unique and I feel like people need to know about. And this, to me, is something that I can't believe has been going on for so long. And when I went to the comedy store last night and everyone goes, oh yeah, I know about that guy. Yeah, he sucks. And I'm like, wait, you haven't heard what's been going on lately? Sandy Danto, who's a comedian at a comedy store comic, paid regular, he actually had a bit of his, his stand-up bit that he had taken and made it a meme.

And then he called him out on it in the comments. And like a couple hours later, he deleted it. And the same thing happened to Amir Kay, who is another comedian. So it's a lot of comics know about this. He does have a bunch of interns, all right, or a bunch of employees. Well, that's what he's been claiming for about the last, I think, five years. He's been claiming that he has employees and all these people working on his website. But, you know, that excuse might happen once or twice.

But, you know, look, this list here is 50 of them, and I've already found more than that. It could happen. It really could happen more than that. The thing about saying it once or twice is like, I'm not trying to stick up for this guy, but the reality of sitcom writers, like Seinfeld stole, not Seinfeld the man, but the show, stole one one of Kevin James bits and did it on their episode and this is when Kevin James was not known Kevin was a friend of mine still is but it was back then and Kevin hadn't made it yet he hadn't it wasn't he hadn't done King of Queens he'd won star search you know and he'd been like on a couple different tv shows um and he had a big deal with NBC like a development deal do his own sitcom. So I was there.

I went with him. He did this showcase for all these NBC writers. So what these showcases are, like they do these sitcom things where they would sit down and they would bring all the showrunners from various shows that have deals with them. And they say, hey, we got this guy. His name's Kevin James. We just signed him. He's really funny.

We want you guys to watch him do stand-up and tell us what you think so they watched him do stand-up and then they stole his bit and used it as an episode of seinfeld the bit about muffin tops oh yeah like kevin james it was one of his signature bits and this was a long ass time ago and it was before the show and it's not the first time that happened that happened a gang at times it happened a bunch of times with a bunch of different comics on a bunch of different shows they would have their signature bits turned into um to um like plot lines on sitcoms or gags on uh in living color was a big one like a lot of guys claimed that some of the writers from in living color would come down to the Comedy Store watch guys

Do stand up like handyman someone someone said that handyman was something that it's stolen from not that Damon had stolen it But some writer had stolen it I don't know if that's true or not But there's a lot of those things that happen when they think they can get away with it Especially if they can go down to the Comedy Store on open mic night Yeah, that's what a lot of people there's so many random people the Comedy Store on open mic night yeah that's what a lot of people there's so many random people that come to these open mic places that just sit there with their notepad just writing everything down or writing

next yeah you should be smacked if you want to sit in the back of the Comedy Store I mean look they could always record it and they you know people do that on their phones anyway they're always gonna record sets just gotta in this day and age you gotta assume and when i was first starting out you have to have a fucking actual tape recorder you couldn't just sit in your pocket like you could have your phone in your jacket pocket and no one would know and it could be recording as long as the mic is up it comes out crystal clear i've done it in my back pocket like i've done sets and just recorded it and stuffed it in my back pocket to see what it would sound like i could hear everything hear everything did anyone ever used to take the old

like radio shack box interview private investigator tape recorder like that you know the huge microphone and just sit it on the stool oh yeah yeah I definitely saw people do that I actually used to have one that was a mini disc recorder who the fuck taught me how to do that somebody somebody taught me about it he had it clipped to his belt I'll try to remember the who the dude is and give him credit. But he had a mini disc recorder clipped to his belt, and then he had a line that ran up to a little lapel mic,

and he would do all his sets like that, and then store them all on mini discs. So I had a mini disc recorder installed in the comedy store so I could record the sets and listen to them on mini disc, and then we switched it over to DAT, and then we switched it over to CD when you could burn CDs and now I don't even know if that's still there. Do they still have that CD

set up where you can burn your copy of? I don't even know anymore. Is it even necessary at all anymore? Nah. Nah. Phones are just as good. I mean unless you want to get something that's the quality that you could release as an album because you could definitely have it set up. if you just have the microphone um some parts of the audience mic'd like

a couple spots mic'd but um what was my point point being how the did we get here oh about how uh kevin james so they steal so if he had employees if the fat Jew had I feel weird calling that I actually enjoy in this particular You know time you're allowed to say the fat Jew, but I feel like man someone's gonna take this shit out of context It's kind of a hack though, I'm just gonna call him the fat Jewish it seems like less overall statement It seems like a superhero, the fat Jewish. But he could easily have employees. But has it even been proven that he has any employees?

And where's this guy getting the money to hire employees? The other thing I was looking at on his page was he would talk about how much money he's making off of his Instagram. I saw him on Katie Couric, and he was doing this interview. And I was like, that's weird. I go, because I don't see a lot of product placement. So I went to his Instagram to try to find product placement. I can tell you everything. And it's funny that you said, you didn't say, why is Katie Couric interviewing this guy, the fat Jew?

How'd that even happen? Well, because he has so many Instagram followers. Yeah. That's why. But I was thinking. He has his own wine company. So like the famous picture of him pouring two bottles of his own wine on his chest, that's his own wine.

But this is independent of his Instagram, right? Yes. So what he does is he mixes all these into it, and then he's also done Burger King chicken fries. Ads? Ads. And he also reportedly has done ads where he can delete them within a certain amount of time. So he can just post a picture of him, you know, enjoying a delicious White Castle burger.

And then they delete it in like 20 minutes. That's pretty smart. Most of them don't leave those ads up. They'll delete them within a week or so. They're not sitting on their feed. That's interesting. And what's really interesting is that his wife slash girlfriend or whatever, she works at Tinder as their head of publicist. She's like a publicist for Tinder.

So she is trained to do, when I dated a publicist, all she did was tell me all these secrets. Like, no, you can do this and do that and do that. Their whole life is how to make money off of social media and get noticed on social media. So he has not only does he have a wine company, somebody said he has a t-shirt company and he's got a bunch of different little companies that he just intertwines into his Instagram to make it look like he's just doing. So he's like the Ryan Seacrest of like just joke thievery and getting shit promoted. He's constantly got a bunch of toes in the game.

Yeah, he has another famous picture, which is him laying in a pool, drinking out of a pool that has his own wine in it, kind of a copy of that. Don't put up any of these pictures. Yeah, kind of a copy of that show. Anything to get us pulled down here. Right. Last Man on Earth, that's from that movie.

So he's even stealing his ideas for pictures to sell as wine from TV shows. He's using Reddit. He's going on websites. What his formula is, and there's a couple people that actually do this. He's not the only one. There's another guy. Fuck Jerry, right? Fuck Jerry, who's another almost as bad, if not worse, guy.

And what they do is they just go to Reddit or they just go to any of these websites, find the number one trending thing at that second, try to find the meat in it, take the meat, throw it on a picture of a black cheeseburger, and then you go. What? Black cheeseburger? Well, I mean, that's pretty much what the formula is. You look for the funniest thing Thread at different websites what has the most views most posts of that day They take a steal that idea and then mix it with something else is what he does the most where you'll just take a photo

Of a fat chick or something like that's but or whatever and put put the two together or but what he's mostly He does is somebody else does that exact same thing And then he just takes it word for word and the picture, crops the name out, doesn't give any credit, and just throws it up there. Yeah, I've seen that. And that's one of those things where you could say maybe somebody sent it to him and he just didn't know who made it, so he just posted it. But not if you change all the words and put them in your own handwriting

or your own font, rather, because he's done that before too. Well it's interesting because what I was getting at earlier is that I never thought of like an internet comedian. Whoops. I never thought of an internet comedian as being the same as a comedian. But you clearly are.

Like that young lady that we talked about. What the fuck's her name again? I don't remember. Well, it's the same as there's a bigger audience. I have to go back. We should say her name. It's so deep in now. So we know.

But, do, do, do, do, do. What is it? It's one of the ones that I retweeted from you. Oh, Princess Wi-Fi. Yeah. Princess of Wi-Fi. That these, you know, these people are working. They're creating these things like this.

And then they get a lot of, like our friend Slash Lean from up in Canada. Hilarious and got famous just from writing funny shit on Twitter. And then got a gang of, like organically got a gang of Twitter followers. Just because she writes funny stuff. And I'm sure she's been ripped off. I guarantee you people have. I think she tried doing stand up at one point in time, but she didn't for a long time. There's a lot of people that would read her shit and go, this could be a really funny bit.

I could take this and turn it into a bit. So I guarantee you that's happened. Yeah. And it's happened a ton of time with just normal people. I think we've probably all done it before. Even my mom's probably posted a photo that she didn't make of some quote that she didn't write of footsteps from Jesus or something. But the big difference between this and us doing it is that he's directly getting paid to do this. He's directly creating a business and an empire

based on only plagiarism. Well, what he's doing is he's taking what a lot of us think of as innocent, which is, you know, you send me something, I retweet it. We all do that. But he's doing it, like, in a creepy way, too, because I use a repost app, so it shows I repost things.

Like, every time I repost something, it's with a repost app unless someone sends it to me and I can't figure out where it came from. And then I had one of those and I deleted it. I deleted it recently. What if black people have been gold this whole time? I was like, that's not mine. It's funny. It's a funny meme, but I'm

like, I have to delete it now because we're doing this whole thing. I never was trying to profit off of that, but I thought about it. I was like, that's somebody else's work and I don't want to get it twisted with me, so I deleted that. Now that all this is going on, I was like, well, I can't be a hypocrite. It's interesting how sensitive every single thing

is getting. There's a difference, though. I mean, it's really all about intent. I mean, that's what it is, right? Yeah. It's really interesting. I've been doing so much research on this guy that I didn't. One thing I know, the episode of Workaholics where he's a peyote at Ford, the one that they talk about Joe Roganisms in it. Fat Jew has a cameo in that.

For no apparent reason at all, they look over and he's like doing push-ups on the ground and that's it. So he's been just working his way into Hollywood for a while. He has a video that's on YouTube It's called fat Jew nude on shrooms in Mexico where he's just shooting guns And running around naked on mushrooms and then driving at the end But it's there's a lot of interesting videos. There's another video this news morning news place had him on the morning news and he was this is right before his instagram was starting to take off a little and he was with like his manager and some other person all being

interviewed and i wish i could find i've been looking for it if i find i can show it send it to you uh but it's interesting because he kind of put it down like yes no the the secret to what i'm doing is just posting a bunch of funny stuff or butts and then getting tons of money from it. And then he just broke it down. So if I ever make a video of this guy, I put that aside at my house because there's so many amazing quotes from that interview. And it's really weird. His

manager, whoever was sitting next to him, she's like, yeah, we're going to make all this money. We're going to make all this money. And then there's this black guy at the end going, wait a second, I don't think this is what... I think Instagram is good for health and fitness and a lot of things, not just butts. He's one of those morning news guys. Those guys are always wrong. That's why they're morning news guys.

But it was an interesting interview. So much interesting thing I've been looking through for the last couple of days on this guy. So his Comedy Central pilot got canceled today. That was announced. That Comedy Central confirmed that. Yeah. They have to. How could they not? They have to announced. That Comedy Central confirmed that. Yeah. They have to. How could they not?

After the Mencia thing? Yeah. Because they kept Mencia on after that show, and his ratings dropped by more than 50% instantly. And they were like, oh, Christ. And then also, they knew. They knew what the fuck he did. And then they have his show on. And they also knew, and this is a big one, that the fucking show was responsible for plagiarism.

A lot of it. A lot of it. And Louis Black was fucking furious because Louis Black was on Comedy Central. So he was on the Jon Stewart show. And while he's on the Jon Stewart show, Menzelia's doing his shit. And not only just doing it, but doing it like this. With the fingers, the way to do the bit is to do it like Lewis.

I mean, he's literally doing Lewis' shit on the same network that Lewis is on. So, they took a fuckload of heat for that. Plus, there's a new regime at Comedy Central now, and they're way smarter. They're on the ball as far as their choices. That's why you're seeing shows like

Amy Schumer's show, like Hannibal Buress, like Ari. You're seeing good shows. And they're taking chances from real comedians for once. Yeah, it's great. They also have their online platform, which they've been really smart about developing, too. Like, this is not happening. They started out as an online platform. Then they brought it to television after they work it out that way.

So there's very little pressure on it. It's smart. They're doing everything the right way. So they're like, fuck this dude. You just can't do that. You can't do it. I don't know if it was him or if it was his employees. We really don't know. But he has to take responsibility for it, especially if it's happened

and there's large institutions writing about it. You know, I mean... Yeah, no, keep going. You know, yeah. No, keep going. But like that, he has to take responsibility for that because he is the one getting the paychecks for all this. Even if his interns, which are probably unpaid interns is what I'm guessing, you have to do it. What I thought was interesting is Brian Hennigan wrote something interesting because he has a book coming out.

And he goes, did Fat Juice sign an affidavit for Grand Central Pub Hatchet U.S. that his new book is all his own work? Wonder why they're helping a plagiarist. I mean, that comes different to when it comes to authors and books and stuff like that, because you you're selling words. And for Henning on the ball, that guy is your words. Powerful Hannigan on the ball. That guy is your manager. I know. He won't do it. Tell him.

You can't only have one client, especially it's Doug Stano. He's got holes in his stomach where his intestines poke through. He can lay on his back and force his intestines through holes in his abdominal wall. I love him, but he's not going to make it. Well, I told Brian that. I mean, alive. I mean, he's obviously made it as a comedian. Brian, I call shotgun. All right. I mean, alive. I mean, he's obviously made it as a comedian. Brian, I call shotgun.

All right. Yeah. Here's the thing. This fat Jewish guy has not posted anything in many hours, which is very rare. Like, his last one is 18 hours ago. So while this is all going down, he's sworn off of the Instagram. The other thing is, you look at the recent posts, like one of them that he stole from that princess of wifi or no, that's the other one.

This is another girl that he, who's hilarious. This is the one I was actually thinking of. Pistol Sherman is her name. S C H U R M A M. She's fucking hilarious. Her, her,

all her Instagram feed is shit that she's made. I assume, I mean, I'm not, I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I'm pretty sure it's all her instagram feed is shit that she's made i assume i mean i'm not i'm not 100% sure but i'm pretty sure it's all her work and it's really fucking funny like she's just a funny comic like or you know funny at writing this stuff whatever it is you know whatever you want to call her um so he's got a bit that he took from her the international hand symbol for what the hell is this guy doing she's got this like thing like what which is true so he takes that he puts it up and then he just

writes her name on the bottom that's it see see how he's got it here that's her that's her but if you go to his all he does is he took he took it and he put he puts his own bullshit in it and When he puts his own bullshit in it. He puts her name at the bottom. He doesn't even say created by he just tags her yeah Yeah, and he supposedly has been adding tags to all his incidents last week It's the fat Jewish all his Instagrams last week. It's the fat Jewish.

I know, there's so much going on. It's not the fat Jew, it's the fat Jewish. Yeah. Yeah. See that one down there? The middle one. Yeah, okay. So you click on that.

It's got 209,000 likes, by the way. The most I've ever gotten, I think maybe I got like 25,000 likes ever. He's got over 5 million on Instagram. I know. It's incredible. But look what he did there. So he takes this and look what he wrote.

You guys, this is funny because it's relatable and we all share these types of human experiences. In parentheses, sorry, I'm on Molly. No, you're not. Yeah. And then at Pistol Sherman. So he stole her thing and then he sort of just sort of tags her, but he doesn't say created by. And then underneath there you say, posting a stolen joke from the person you credit also clearly stole it.

What? It's a comment. The person you credit also clearly stole it? Really? See, that's the problem. I've been noticing, what I've been doing is I've taken the photo and cropped it out and then re-uploaded it to Google Images and tried to find the first time stamped.

Because it can search by photo. Dude, you're going straight FBI on this shit. No, I know. I mean, one of these took me over an hour just to find out who really made it. You could have been at the gym. You could have been on a fucking stair machine. It's true. I don't know what's wrong with me. over an hour just to find out who really made it and it turned out at the gym It's true, I'll help you know what's wrong with me I need You do upset. It's funny though. I started I had a big smile on my face when I started getting a text from you

And then when I saw that Patton was retweeting your stuff, and I said alright I'm in I started retweeting it too. I'm like fuck it. Let's just let's pile on So he doesn't even say this is what bugs me it too. I'm like, fuck it. Let's just, let's pile on. So he doesn't even say, this is what bugs me. Sorry, I'm on Molly, whatever. And then at Pistol Sherman. So I don't know whether or not this girl didn't write it or did write it. But the point is, he thinks she wrote it. And instead of crediting her, he just writes her name. He doesn't even like write original by, got this from, you know, this is hilarious. I found it on her page. He just has her name. He doesn't even like write original by, got this from, you know, this is

hilarious, I found it on her page. He just has her name there. That doesn't mean anything. Like, I put people's names at the bottom of, just so they'll see it or something. I mean, I don't That's not enough. It gets deeper than that, Joe. I got deep into this one thread.

What the fuck is wrong with you? I got deep into this one thread that even had proof of him making fake Twitter accounts and just taking jokes and having that fake person tweet them and then him crediting the fake Twitter account that he owns.

Oh, God. Oh, no. You sure? How do you know that? Man, it's a whole message board page or Reddit page or something like that. Reddit's been on this for a while, though, so that's what's great about that it's now finally, I think the internet's now catching on to this whole thing. Well, they definitely are today. The fact that he hasn't made a post in 18 hours, and if you look before that, he was

making like five, six of them a day. They were like rapid fire. That was the thing that was funny about his page. You would constantly see some pretty silly shit. I got to stop following him on Instagram. I think I'm still following him right now. Yeah, somebody told me that already. That I'm still following him?

Yeah. Fucking tattletales. And what's really weird is he steals from people that if he had any common sense that you would not steal from like matt besser i don't know if you know matt besser from uh back in the days he's old school he i think he's one of the founders of ucb uh or if not the founder of ucb uh he stole from him he put how many potheads does it take in a screw and a light bulb none we're trying to keep it mellow here funny little joke fat juice stole it uh and that's like in the comedy world that's like insane if you steal from matt that's yeah well there's a lot of people out there that don't know who he is and

they think that they can get away with it that's what he's doing i mean what he's doing he got away with up until now when you get away with something for that long and it's that profitable you know how many people have been mad at them for that you're stealing money from people really it's what you're doing yeah i mean the or i mean are they making money it's a weird situation because it's like some people are just doing it for fun and then you're profiting off of their fun but that's kind of like there was um there was an artist once that was taking photos of other people's art and then drawing like pretty much exact duplicates of it it was like a cartoon and

It's happened many times but there was one story that was on this one cartoon that this guy was doing where he had stolen like so many of this guy's images and just put his own version of it but like so similar and some people were trying to figure out how this guy can get away with this for so long but I think there's just too much to pay attention to for you to connect the dots on two different images like that like and he probably was dumb or ridiculous I thought he can get away with it this is his last post right here yes it's actually watermarked with that name,

at Burt Bondy. It's funny you say that, Jamie, because this is the one that took me, one of the ones that took me over a half hour to research. That, you think, is the original one? I was looking at his page, too. Yeah. It seems like the guy,

his Twitter name's actually in the picture, Joe, but he didn't credit the guy, even though his name's actually in there. So that's one of the fake ones? Well, that's one that I researched and found out that there was actually somebody before that person. So that person tagged his name in it saying it was his when it wasn't even his. And that could be one of the ones where he ganked it. What is this right now? What are you looking at? Oh, Burt Bondy.

It's the guy he took it from, or supposedly. Supposedly. But this guy, somebody else had it before him. That's what it looks like. At my point, I was going to bring up on this is kind of weird because this is where you get into parody law and copyright. They're taking photographers'

photos and making money off of them without paying the photographer. But because it's parody, you're actually allowed to do that to a certain extent. So at what point are you allowed to parody a joke and that's okay? Yeah. But you can't word for word it, but you know what I mean? See, I'm torn here. Here's why I'm torn.

I love memes. I think these are fucking hilarious. Like, I enjoy them when someone sends me a funny one or when I get a funny one on Instagram And I scroll through it. I laugh at them. Ah, I like them. That's all I have to But I want people to keep but I don't you know, I don't want to necessarily like I Don't want to discredit the fact that someone made it but I don't really give a fuck that someone made it But I do now. Even his book cover, Fat Jew has a stupid book. Even his book cover is a copy of the Steve Jobs book.

Well, I think that's on purpose. I know, but it's just funny that everything he does is completely unoriginal and fake. Well, the hairstyle. What about his hairstyle? That's like Kong Po from the kickboxer movie. Tong Po. Remember that guy? Jean-Claude Van Damme.

He fights him in the end. He's got the crazy haircut. Oh, yeah. He's got kind of a Tong Po thing going on with his hair. Yeah. So you're not his friend. Is that what you're trying to say? You know what?

I'm just amazed by it. I'm just shocked by it. I don't like it when I see friends of mine that he's stolen from. And I'm just like, why am I don't like it when I see my friends of mine that he's stolen from. And I'm just like, why am I just finding out about this guy now? And then I remember when I heard his name around on TMZ and Twitter and all that, I just didn't want to ever click on the link because I was like, I don't care about this fat Jew guy. I don't give a shit.

But then now I kind of want to stop it so I don't have to see more of him in the future. Well, it didn't bother me when I saw him before. I thought, well, this is interesting. This guy's figuring out how to profit off of these memes. And I was saying, I wonder if this is going to be something that happens in the future. And then I thought, well, what he's doing is he's just going and finding pictures, and then they say funny shit and put it on the picture.

That's how he was describing it. And he was saying it to Katie Couric that he has a staff and they comb the internet for funny things. But really, they're just ganking memes, and he's saying it to Katie Couric that he has a staff and they go out, they comb the Internet for funny things. But really, they're just ganking memes. And he's doing it as a corporation. He's doing it like as a business. One of the ones that he did, it went the farthest back as being the oldest joke I could find. He found off of a 2001 website that still existed.

And this might not even be the first one but it was one of those email newsletters that you would send like here's a list of funny jokes and it's just a list of like 50 jokes and he just started taking from that list as one of them I can't say I'm shocked I mean now

that you know his modus operandi the other thing is I've heard him talk and he never seems funny. You know, like when I'm hearing him talk, I'm like, this guy doesn't seem like a funny guy. You know, like if you, you know, Kevin Pereira, let's use him as an example. You know, if Kevin was on some show there, you would listen to him talk, and you'd go, even if he wasn't trying to be funny,

you would say, well, here's a guy that I could see that guy be funny. I could see him have a clever point on something. Like if someone presented him with an illogical point of view, he would be like, that doesn't make any sense. He would start making fun of it. That's his instinct. That is, you know, your instinct, comics instincts. Anybody that you have on that's a funny person would say funny shit. He never seemed funny.

He seemed like this, like, corporate guy or something, you know, with this wacky haircut. It's like a tall package. Well, I mean, what people are telling me is that he was one of those. He grew up in a super rich family, and he's been kind of just thrown and given favors, and that's one of those guys. One of those motherfuckers. I guess the problem is I can make that argument about myself not being funny sometimes, too, if I'm doing something serious.

Like if I do a conversation, especially if it's about MMA. Right. But then I'm doing it about that, I guess. Yeah, but if you listen to a lot of his interviews, because I've watched a lot, he pretty much repeats the same stuff. Like, I just need to get a guacamole and a bathtub and wine. Well, let's see what happens, CAA. Right. You're the fucks who signed

Menstelia after all that shit went down. They are? Yeah, they took them from Gersh. They ganked them from Gersh at the worst moment ever. Wow. Yeah. Right when the shit was hitting the fan, they jumped in with their dick in their hand. That's insane. but who knows i mean

they probably i don't think they were aware in the entirety of the uh the situation that you're dealing with that and i think they probably weren't aware about this guy either because look i wasn't aware i didn't even think of it i ignorantly was like i just takes memes puts them up there i didn't even think about it as plagiarism but when when Patton wrote it, and then when you had, and then I saw the actual instances, I was like, Oh, okay. I see what's going on here. Yeah, he is. He's definitely. And it wasn't just reposting. See, he could have got the same success by reposting. You know, I repost stuff. If you post something funny and I want to repost it, I go to the repost app. I repost it and I do it specifically so that people will know that it came from you. And hopefully they'll click on your link and sign up and be one of your followers or whatever.

That's what you're supposed to do. That's kind of the spirit of the Internet. You know, when someone says something funny, I always retweet stuff. I never copy and paste someone's tweet. You know, I just don't. Unless you have their name in the tweet as well. You know, and then you put in the quote marks. But other than that, but then, you know, everybody knows it comes from them.

But other than that, I use a retweet or a repost app or a quote tweet. You know, you quote it if you're using the app on the phone. This is, you know, it's just unethical. It's unethical and it's against the spirit of what the internet is supposed to be all about this free exchange of information somebody comes in and just fucking sticks a syringe in this pipeline of Information just starts pulling it out and then profiting you know that's what they're doing instead of contributing instead of like jumping into this free Exchange and then offering up a successful pipeline Instead of like jumping into this free exchange and then offering up a successful pipeline.

See, because this guy could have been a successful pipeline for all these people. And I bet he would have still got nearly the same amount of tweets or nearly the same amount of likes and followers and all that jazz. If he was just, you know, if you just gave everybody credit and then people would like you. They wouldn't be mad. What's interesting is both Twitter and Instagram instagram i've heard have uh banned him in the past and with instagram that he tied his he tied himself up to their headquarters until they let him back in what yeah supposedly i mean gag yeah probably but it worked uh and a lot of people have been trying to tell people to twitter has that new copyright thing where you can copyright tweets or whatever. But you have to be the originator of that joke in order to do it.

So there's only people if these people stood up and go, no, I thought that and made that and read wrote that. Would they have any, you know, they, you know, justice to do that or whatever. Do you remember when that guy was stealing Patrice O'Neill's material and do it as YouTube rants? And then he was trying to say that he did it because it was an homage to Patrice. He was trying to pretend. He did it like all angry too. It was like so gross and fake the way he did it.

You know, he's like channeling Patrice or something while he did it and trying to be smart. And everybody's like, oh, you fuck. You're a thief. You know, you fuck you're a thief you know you you're a liar to like the way you're doing it you're lying to all these people that thought you came up with these ideas these are not your ideas at all it's hard to come back from that you can't come back for that you can't the only way you can come back from that is to admit that you did that talk about how you did it and then you got to re-establish yourself as being completely original good fucking luck we've talked about this before with joke thieves it's like there's a bunch

of guys that were joke thieves and one of the things you could clearly see you could see the difference between their material and other people's material the other people's material was funny and then in between the their like this funny, they would have their shit and like stand out like a sore thumb like, this is a guy, I don't need to mention his name everybody knows who the fuck I'm talking about, who stole a lot of shit from Bill Hicks and he had one good special and then

his second special was hot dog shit, I mean it was terrible, it was like a parody of his first special it's cause there was no content in it. Because he had burned all these bridges, stole all this content, was scared. And said, you know, I'll do it myself. I'll make my own shit.

But he couldn't make his own shit. His new shit was terrible. And there's like this really clear difference between the two of them. And I maintain it's because the mindset of creativity is the exact opposite of the mindset of plagiarism Because plagiarism is like I want to pretend that this is all my idea I want to pretend what take this and I'm gonna get all the love for it I'm gonna get whereas like a comic like a Hilarious person is like what what's funny? Where's the funny? What is it? Is it this is it that like you've got?

You're not thinking about you. Like what all you are is like you're this vessel for getting the idea in its best form. You're like a boat that carries the joke to the people. You got to figure out how the fuck do I do this? Like how many times have any of us been sitting around going, I got to figure out a better way to set this up or there's a better way to do this or you got to figure out this. And someone comes along and just yanks that and just doesn't have any of the process. They don't know how to do that. They don't know how to do it. Like, that process of creating is like learning a language.

And when those fucking joke thieves have to go out and relearn the language, they're essentially like open micers. And we've seen a couple guys that we know of that are like that, that got hot from stealing stuff But then if you see him now, you're like where did the fucking? Creativity go or they don't stop like our old friend who I found out the other day that uh still steals I can't say i'm shocked. I can't say i'm sure. I don't know. Tosh. Yeah, I don't think he knows how to write

I don't think he does it. And I think he's scared to bomb. That's one of the things that he had always said. He's like, you know, a lot of comics talk about how he bombed. I never bombed. I bomb all the time. You know why? Because I write stuff. I try shit out. When you're writing all the time,

man, you're gonna fucking have some duds. You're gonna throw them out there and you're gonna go, fuck. And it might, you're gonna fucking have some duds. You're gonna throw them out there and you're gonna go, fuck. And it might, it's, you know, it's not gonna be all of them, but it might be one out of ten you just gotta cut off and throw into the ocean. It's just no good. It's never working. But

there's a lot of people that are gonna see you do that bit until you decide that it sucks. You know, you're gonna fuck around with it. You're gonna try to, because sometimes I don't know if you do this, but I do, I know Diaz does it. A lot of guys do this where you kind of like set yourself up in a position where you really don't know where this bit's gonna go you know there's something funny in it so you hope that it comes out on stage and so there's ways of writing where you sit down smoke a joint sit in front of your computer or your notebook and just fucking trying to figure out how to do it like i'll i'll i'll play little games with

myself i'll say like brian red band is to jamie like a walrus is to you know peacock i'll try to find ways that the subject interacts with it trying to find not because you're a peacock yeah he's beautiful you got a pretty cock but you know what i'm saying like i'll i'll i'll do little tricks i'll set up lists this is like that and i'll do like a list of different things because i want to try to find out what the best bit is but sometimes you just got to go on stage and sometimes you go on stage with this premise and you're pretty sure there's something funny about this premise but you don't know where it's going to lead and then boom when you're on stage the jokes something funny about this premise, but you don't know where it's going to lead. And then, boom, when you're on stage, the jokes, like the punchline, will reveal itself to you. Or the angle will reveal itself to you.

And then you record it. It's like you take this little ember. You take it back to the lab and you fucking put some tindling on it. Kindling? What is it? What's tinder? Tinder is that app. But it's a thing, too, right?

Publicist chick. Doesn't have something to do with fire? Tinder? Yeah. That's what it is. Tinder. I think But it's a thing too, right? Publix is chick. Doesn't it have something to do with fire? I think that's it. Tinder? Yeah. That's what it is. Tinder. I think that Tinder box.

Yeah, it is. I was right. Jesus Christ. You don't know shit. I didn't say anything. Are you talking to yourself? It's an app. No, it's for fires.

We're talking about fires, you fuck. The point being that that's a whole process you have to learn how to do. And if you don't learn how to create, like you with your video editing, you have to learn how to do that. You had to do some that you didn't like. You had to do some like you, if you go back and look at your earlier videos, like they weren't as good as your later videos. You got better at it as time went on, especially when you started doing it, you know, all the time. You just get smoother. It's the same with everything. Those guys

are fucked. Because it's a wrong mindset. So they become superstars. But they're not good. They're not real. It's like being a superstar track and field athlete, but you really don't run fast at all. Like, everybody thinks, like,

God damn, this guy's like the fastest guy ever. But you're, no. You've been just, you've been like, God damn, this guy's like the fastest guy ever. But you're no, you've been just, you've been like teleporting down the fucking down the path and stealing people's spots and pretending that you're in first place, you know, and just running through the ribbon. I won. And there was like, damn, that dude's fast. He won again. But you didn't really want, you can't really run fast. It's almost the exact same thing with people who are plagiarists. They literally don't have the creativity. They've never developed it. It's kind of fucked. It's got to be terrifying. It's got to be fucking really terrifying because like Charlie Murphy,

one of the ballsiest things that Charlie Murphy did was Charlie Murphy was famous. First of all, for being the brother of a really fucking famous comedian And second of all for being on the greatest sketch comedy show the world has ever known And being a big part of it He was huge on the Chappelle show Charlie Murphy stories, those stories that he would tell Like the Prince story Like dude, he was famous for telling hilarious stories And people would like look forward to it

He would be on the stage or on the screen and you know Just just waste up telling a story and then you'd see like it be playing out with you know Dave Chappelle being Prince and all the crazy shit that it would be a part of those stories and Then Charlie started doing stand-up after that so after that and you know There's some legendary bad sets that he's had he had some bad sets like that were captured on video where the one of them he did a college they're booing him and heckling him he went back and got the check and tore it up in front of them and threw it out to him and left you know these he took fucking crazy chances because he's a famous open biker and you know

as well as i know that process cannot be duplicated The the process of becoming good at doing stand-up going from an open mic er to being like a an established Professional is a fucking bloody grind and it's filled with dead bodies Some people that just don't make it they don't make it's rough It's it's like any kind of boot camp, but it lasts even longer than it's it's like going to high school You know you have like four years, and then you graduate, but some people don't graduate they get held back They get killed and killed killed by terrorists right and he along the way Charlie is famous so long this way He's fucking famous for being hilarious, and he's just starting out like just starting out

And he's headlining remember when we did that maximum real men of comedy tour, dude He had only been doing comedy like two or three years. Yeah, you know and he's doing 45 minutes in front of theaters thousands of people Balls man. He's got balls But that's what it's like. It's like being a famous open mic er That's what it's like for these guys that are plagiarists and then all of a sudden they start trying to write their own material It's like it's dark man. It's a dark place to be There's a guy named Freddie

Who career Carrera he's gonna be opening up for Joey Diaz Later this month in Reno a 7 to and 726. He posted a video. He sent me a video the other day. Have you seen the Heckler Spartacus kick? Yeah. What do you feel about this? Because a lot of people actually got mad at this video, but then I think it makes complete sense if you watch it.

They kicked that guy? Yeah. Yeah, well, if you haven't seen the video, this dude is on stage. This guy comes over to him and touches him. He says something to him or pushes him or touches him physically. And he says, don't fucking touch me. Get your fucking hands off me. The guy leaves.

And it's a tiny ass little crowd. There's a very small amount of people. And some people apparently like this Heckler guy. So the Heckler guy and this comic get into it again. And the comic says says don't fucking come anywhere near. He says like raid zone was given a warning several times to not put his hand. So he

goes running up to the stage in full stride and this dude just front kicks him right in the chest. Yeah like 300 style. I guess the guy's name good technique by the way. This guy's name raid zone I guess he's a local comic. This guy that has the lumen foil on's name. It's a good front kick. Good technique, by the way. This guy's named Raid Zone. I guess he's a local comic. This guy that has the lumen foil on his head.

Yeah. He's a local comic that just, one of those guys that, you know, it doesn't work. It's not working out really for him. And he never gets off stage. He always, you know, does his, he won't get off stage. And he heckles. He heckles the whole time. He heckles people in the audience.

So he's one of those guys that is like a social retard that wants attention. So he goes to these comedy clubs and becomes a part of the show. So as this guy's backing away, by the way, I'm torn because I love the fact that Vegas has a comedy scene in open mics. Yeah. Even though there's no one in it. I'm like, ah, that's cool. Vegas has got a little funky little open mics because Vegas is a weird place.

Can you turn this up? Because this audio is great. Stop making fun of me, he says. You do that all by yourself, Wade. You do that all by yourself. I have the mic. I have the mic. I have the mic.

Throw a tantrum. So he sits down and some woman is like, oh, I love you, Wade. She's trying to get some dick. Right. Here it comes. What did I tell you is like, I love you, wait, she's trying to get some dick. Right. Here it comes. What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?

Call an ambulance. Boy, you should call an ambulance when a guy goes down like that. You never know, because he could have hit his head and he could die. I'm not exaggerating. Someone would say, oh, you're being melodramatic. No, when someone front kicks you in the chest like that, you fall back, you easily can hit his head and he could die. I mean, I'm not exaggerating. You know, someone would say, oh, you're being melodramatic.

No, when someone front kicks you in the chest like that, you fall back, you easily can hit your head. And I didn't see if he hit his head or not. We can watch it again. Play it back again. His helmet fell off, so it didn't protect him. It's aluminum. Well, it's not real.

What's that, Jamie? He said he hit his head. Let me see it, back it up. Back it up, so I can see it. Are you gonna start shooting me right now? Yeah, oh, he could easily have hit his head. Let me see it. Back it up. Back it up. So I can see it. Yeah. Oh, he could easily hit his head. Well, you know what? Play it one more time. Look at his legs,

though. He's balanced as if he... That doesn't mean anything. Guys go unconscious, their legs are like that. Here he comes. It doesn't mean anything. Guys go unconscious to their legs like that. I'm a 60-year-old baby. I don't get my way. Listen! I don't get my way. Here you come. I don't get my way. What'd I tell you? See how he fell back like that? It's kind of like he was doing a push-up.

What'd I tell you? No, Brian, you don't know what you're talking about. That guy got kicked really hard in the chest. He fell back. He's lucky that his feet are planted there. He's not unconscious, but he definitely could have banged his head. So I would not say that he's faking it in any stretch of the imagination. That is a hard kick to the chest. And by the way, the kid who threw the kick knows how to kick.

Go do it one more time. Just take it to the kick. The kid who threw the kick, just go. There's a slow motion version. I don't want to see it. I want to see it like this. That's a guy who's kicked people before, guaranteed. He didn't even bother taking his hand off of the mic stand Notice that that guys know how he knows how to kick. He's got some martial arts experience a hundred percent or

Someone taught him how to throw a nasty front kick and he knows how to do it Because the way he timed it and the way he hit that guy he hit him fucking hard I'm torn because first of all that guy's the guy on the ground is obviously a cunt you know he's annoying he's probably terrible if you're a comedian you got to work with this guy and he gets in the way but you know does it mean that he should have been kicked in the chest like that man I don't know but the other thing is he was fucking in full stride to get in that guy's face and

If the guy didn't want to grapple with him me you got two options that guy ran right up to him Like you look at him. He's walking Like he's he got stopped by that kick. He was gonna get right to that guy look He's in mid stride not slowing down at all. He could have pushed that guy. He could have, look, he's reaching out to him. Look. Fuck that guy. That guy, I see, you know what? I mean, I don't like the fact

that he banged his head and literally he could get really badly hurt in a situation like that. In the beginning of the video, also, the guy had already grabbed him. He's like, don't grab me. And then the beginning of the video is him like, I'm warning you, do not come up here. Yeah. So it's, there's, yeah, I'm for it.

I definitely think the guy's a cunt. But the reality is the club should have got rid of that dude. You can't let somebody grab people like that. You can't someone run up to the stage like that. But, you know, they probably can't afford security. There's only five people in the audience. We're hire some guy who's gonna eat up your profits just stand around there looking big so it's fucked you know greg fitzsimmons got in a scrap once at stitches comedy club in boston where i was i missed the show fuck i wish i was there but uh

some guy was in the audience some guy was heckling. Greg tooled him. And then the guy ran up onto the stage and grabbed Greg. And they, like, fucking scuffled. Like, they literally got into a fist fight. The bouncers came out, dragged the guy off stage. Greg stood up, brushed himself off, and goes, all right, anybody else want some of this? And then went back with his act. He was like, who's next?

It was really funny. Yeah, the fights are interesting, except that usually at the comedy store, anywhere on Sunset, it's usually more like, oh, he's got a gun! There's been so many of those nights there. You've heard someone have a gun in the audience? Well, on a certain night.

Oh, the Black Knight. Is that what you're going to say? Yeah. Yeah, that has happened. Wasn't there shots fired once when Tupac was at the comedy store? Yeah. Yeah. Well, who would have figured?

Who saw that coming? A guy who got killed by gunfire who'd been shot twice. Somehow or another would be involved in some sort of a shooting thing. Someone just sent me this crazy story. I'm going to let you read it. Is it about them hanging out at the comedy store with Mitzi? No. Japanese boxer, 24, bursts into lawyer's office, cuts off the 42-year-old man's penis with a garden shears,

flushes the organ down the toilet after discovering wife's affair. Wow. He carried out the horrifying attack in Tokyo earlier this morning. He punched the unnamed lawyer repeatedly before severing his genitals, flushed a peanut on the toilet, and waited for the police. The skilled boxers thought to have carried out the attack after finding out the lawyer had been sleeping with his wife. Damn, son. You can't blame the girl. No, you don't.

Well, he has to blame the girl, yes. But you can't blame the girl for this guy coming in and cutting off that guy's dick. No, no, no. He should have. I never understand why they go after the guy. You should go after the girl. I mean, if it's your wife. Well, Japanese.

The guy might not even know. He's got a different culture. You know, maybe in their culture, you gotta attack the man with garden shears. Yeah, that's fucked. Do you remember when there was a real bad story where a lady did that to her husband, cut his dick off and threw it in a garbage disposal?

Bobbit. And, no, no, no. She threw it in a garbage disposal. Bobbit. No, no, no. She threw it out the window while she was driving her car, and they found it and stitched it back on. This lady threw it in the garbage disposal, and Sharon Osbourne, Ozzy's wife, was on one of those dumb chick shows and was mocking it, laughing about how it must have looked like, spinning around in a circle.

You never heard that? Dude, it's awful. It's awful. Play it, Jamie, because it's really awful. Because imagine if there was a show, like a man's show, and it's, this is the guy network, you know, whatever. And on that show, a guy had cut his wife's clit off and threw it in a garbage disposal, you know, Egyptian style. You know, they do that horrible genital mutilation they do on young ladies. Imagine if someone was on TV mocking that.

Like, imagine what the clit looked like, just spinning around in a circle. This guy's life is ruined. I don't know the circumstances. I don't know why he filed for divorce. I don't know what was going on between them. However, I do think it's quite fabulous. I mean, I think it's quite fabulous. Wow. That's awful. Fuck men, Joe. Fuck them. It's awful that someone would say something like that, you know? What is going on here? Something else? I'm wondering on why she cut it off.

I mean, it does depend on the reasons why. Does it? Fuck her. Poor Ozzy. Married to that monster. That's a terrible thing to think like why would anybody think unless the guy had done something horrible like that to her and she got a hold of him

you know like he cut her clit off and she waited until he went to bed and cut his dick off you know that's an eye for an eye and they're both blind now but that's not what happened whatever the fuck he did

you know Jesus Christ the fact that she could mock that I don't know my original point was what do you think of those explosions in China do you think that's just what they they're saying it is or do you think that's like a secret nuclear underground you know nuclear base that they're talking about nuclear well you know we recently found out that China supposedly, it was a China that hacked the Pentagon. And it just seems like, you know, a couple weeks later, now there's nuclear-sized explosions in their cities. First of all, China is enormous. Okay, so you're saying China as if it's like this fucking one block.

Right. Like we're attacking Compton. Like China's an enormous spot. And China's a big industrial spot, so there's constantly a bunch of shit that can go wrong and blow up I mean, that's just what happens when you're building things you're using engines and fire and gasoline and compression And it easily could be what they said a chemical plant blew up They blow up all the time when they blow up. It's goddamn terrifying. I've just never seen it that bad You see some of the new angles no show some uh i sent one of them i think this is the same one that uh i was

talking about where it literally goes there's three explosions the first one's like wow that's crazy they're saying like hey it looks like a gas station maybe blew up then the second one's huge and it's like all right this is starting to look like a you know a transformers the movie and then the third one's like that's the end of the world explosion uh and this uh video that i think it's the right one uh it's literally it seems like it's across the street almost and it's a great angle if you can find well i've seen the one where the guy's inside like a convenience store and the blast hits him and the wall like knocks him back the windows knock him back and he looks like he got fucked up I don't know what happened to the dude in that picture,

but the blast from it. Yeah, this is it. Now, this is cool because the conversation in it, the people talking in it is awesome. Holy shit. White people. Fuck yeah, I'm videoing it. Canadian.

What the fuck? That sounds like Harlan Williams. Watch the second one. Maybe a gas station or something. Fuck yeah, it's a gas station. Whoa! Oh my god. Oh my god.

Holy shit! That's not even the worst one. Really? What? Oh my god, this is amazing. Are we dangerous here? Watch this one now. Holy shit! I'm filming! Whoa! Whoa! I think we are dead.

Holy shit. Look at the fire in the sky. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go. It went from fun times to run for your life. Yeah, well, that looks exactly like what they said it is. Yeah, I don't think that's any terrorist shit. That looks like a bomb blew up a gigantic chemical factory.

A bomb blew up? I mean, you know, whatever, an explosion. Not a bomb. But, I mean, same thing. A bomb is just an explosion. Have you seen the photos of the cars on the right side? Have you seen all those cars that are parked there? What is this?

Sodium cyanide on site might have been 70 times the allowed amount. Wow. Oh, yeah. They don't have rules in China. They just... It's a lot of chemicals that shouldn't have been there is what I think they're saying. That makes sense. That was amazing, though.

That was beautiful, too. It's fucked up, but beautiful at the same time. There's something cool about that. Um, if they can show, is this the trail destruction, what it's done to buildings. If you can find the one where the guy's inside the store and the blast hits them. Cause that one's insane. What are you doing over there, Brian? You're tuning out on me.

Oh, I was just finding a new video of a house from erosion falling into the ocean that I wanted to show you. Oh, it was one of those stilt houses? Yeah, I guess it's like in poor countries, they don't have the right foundations in a lot of their houses. So they just fall into the ocean. You mean like Malibu? Yeah, exactly. Because shit happens there. They have all these crazy walls and stuff they build up in Malibu. Here's a security camera footage

This is the guy it's right in front of the door like watch this Boom dude you got jacked I Mean who knows what happened to that dude when he gets knocked back He is fucked because everything exploded like look how it goes back He's looking at his phone, too. Look. Homeboy's looking at his fucking phone. He's standing by the window.

Watch that again. Look. This bitch hasn't even texted me back, man. Boom! I mean, he literally didn't even see it coming. No, it looks like he hits his head first and goes, What the heck? And then the whole side just falls on him.

I like your bad accent. That's not supposed to be. What the goes, what the heck? And then the whole house or the side just falls on him. I like your bad accent. That's not supposed to be. What the heck? What the heck? Hey, dog. Hey, dog. But there was a guy who set up an explosion in his house. He left the gas on and set like some sort of a timer and set some sort of a device to ignite it. And it blew the house up. He was doing it for

an insurance scam. And he went to jail for murder because he wound up killing his neighbor. Remember that? Yeah, he see if you can find that story. But the fucking damage that just got done from a line inside a person's house. And it makes you think it's crazy that you're you could just do that Like if you were a nut and you just wanted to turn your gas on and sit there look look at this It's leveled this fucking two houses on this block, and this was all done with gas This make sure this is the right one because there have been like Explosions that were accidental that did happen that caused some pretty significant damage to you. This is three returns with murder in this.

Yeah, that's it. Wow. Yeah, it's Indiana, too. That's where it happened. A famous video of the house blowing up, you know, that came out a couple years ago where, you know what I'm talking about, Jamie, that nice house where there's a helicopter going around the house. Yeah, it was a fire. There was a fire going on, right? And then the house exploded the middle ass

So this guy just left the fucking gas on and then said we're gonna make some money But just look at these three three to get caught. It's like the guy on the far right. You almost don't blame him, right? Whatever that chicken the middle says I'll do how hard was that guy's life the guy in the far right with the glasses How hard must have his life have been? His life. We're looking at this guy who looks like William H. Macy had sex with somebody to the left and somebody to the right. No, it looks like William H. Macy and Vanderlei Silva's nose post-surgery with one wonky eye. Poor bastard.

Look at him. The eye thing. He's just a mess. That guy's just lived a life of misery and very little love. He's just got this feel about him. And so they decided they were going to make some money from insurance money. They decided they were going to make some money from insurance money. When you have a sideways eye like that, do you actually have better side vision than peripheral?

You know what I mean? Like maybe you have way better vision that way. I don't think so. I think it actually fucks up your straight vision because you're always getting a little bit of this side stuff in there. It's probably, I mean, it probably fucks with your, uh, your straight ahead vision. Yeah, I guess. Hmm. Yeah. I guess it would.

Yeah. But if you can move them independently, like some sort of a chameleon... We're supposed to have eyes in front of us, right? The idea being that's one of the main indicators that we're predators. We have eyes in front of us because we're looking forward to killing things. We're not looking on our sides like deer. The reason why deer have them on the side of their head is because they're terrified. They have to look out. What's over there? What's over there?

They can look. They can be going sideways like this. Their head can be totally facing sideways and they can look right at you. We can't do that. Because we don't need to worry as much about getting flanked. We're usually the pursuers and not the pursuees. Speaking of pursuers and not the pursuees, running with

the Bulls was particularly successful this season. The Bulls scored seven kills. Wow. That's the highest, right? This is a big one. This is a big year for them. They're very excited. They went back to the slaughterhouse and were pretty pumped before they got killed.

Because I think they killed them. I mean, I don't know what happens with the bulls. What happens with the bulls when they run with the bulls? It's not like bull fighting, right? I think they just fight and fight and fight and fight. We're going to have to talk. We can't just only look at laptops here because otherwise I'm only talking to myself. I'm listening.

I'm just sending new links. Well, let's just talk about this bull thing because it's so ridiculous. Pull that up, Jamie, because it's incredible that seven people died. Why the fuck do they do it? I just, that's, I guess it's a thrill. Is that the idea behind it? It's a tradition.

It's, you know. What does that mean? So slavery. Should we go back to that? Yeah. That's a tradition. The Inquisition was kind of a tradition. Slavery still exists.

You just get paid for it now. Ten people died. Ten now? Three three more for this weekend Oh, it's been this really good week The Bulls are scoring pull it up put some shit up Look at this four more gourd to death across Spain as surge and bull run casualties continue I hope the Bulls are just getting smarter look how fucking big they are and look how many people there are. That's what's fucked up.

There's way too many people to get out of the way. You just can't get out of the way. So you got these bulls and they're real bulls with full on horns. And these real bulls are just running into these packed avenues of people. And just mowing them over and killing them. It's fucking ridiculously stupid. It's got to be one of the dumbest ways to die. I wrote this fucking article about this a long time ago, joking around about how dumb it was. And this guy got really mad at me. It's like,

my teacher, my professor did that. And it's all about appreciating the culture. And like, how come you can't just go to the country? Why do you have to run from a fucking animal to appreciate the culture? Did you see that thing Bert was doing this week? And I've seen it before. They chase cheese down a hill, and these guys run down a hill and get hurt. Similar dumb thing. Well, you don't have to chase the cheese.

Cheese isn't trying to kill you. This is totally different. I mean, this is so gross, man. Spain's economic crisis has forced a sharp drop in the number of bullfights in the country with about 300 fewer bullfights scheduled for this year as compared to the years before the crisis yet the number of ranchers who are raising fighting bulls has stayed the same the only way out for these ranchers would be in the festivals in these municipalities so it suggests that many of the bulls that would have been destined for bullfights are instead

running along the streets of the country. That's fucking crazy. Because those are really big bulls. And they're really ferocious and they come from a long line of bulls that have been almost bred for that shit. They're doing

it in the United States now, I'm pretty sure. What? Like having little set of bull runs and you can go run through these. Look what it says right there. These are bulls with more power, more capacity to charge, said Lorca, whoever that is. Of the bulls being used for small town bull runs, he said that an encounter with one of those,

one of these would likely do more harm than the bulls of previous years. Obviously, you've got fucking 11 deaths this year. What a clusterfuck. In the U.S., they're using them to clean out homeless populations by putting them downtown at night. Can you imagine if they did that, though? They had a bull run once a week, and they just played tons of bulls,

and the homeless are like, I'll get this bull. Well, the real problem is not the fatalities. It's the homeless people that survive. It's going to be even worse. You're going to take care of those people for the rest of their lives. This is the whole thing is fucking gross. The whole thing is completely ridiculous, as well as the bullfights. Bullfights are fucking ridiculous, too.

Because, first of all, you're not really fighting that bull, right? You're stabbing it with spears, and you running around other people get to stab it and some of the spears have they have poison in them man gored to death filming bull run in spain on mobile phone world star yeah there's a great video of a guy getting one up the asshole. I don't mean great, really, but I mean like, whoa. Have you seen that one where the guy gets the horns right up the asshole? So horrible. It's like, Jesus Christ.

He got his sphincters torn open. His rectum was torn apart. Rectum nearly killed him. Yeah, I think that was one of the first animated GIFs I ever saw. It was like, what? What's going on? That horn's going in its, oh my god, it's going in its butt. You're just from it loading so slow.

It's ugly, dude. These people, look at that. This guy's got one in the face. Let's go through all these. Let's go through all these. Please, please visit the image. Let's get the first one again. Close in on that first one.

Because it seems like it's going right through his cheek. Is that what's happening there? Oh, my God. Yes, it is. Look, it's right through his cheek. Look at the fucking impact. Oh, my God. It's going through his eyeball. Look at that, Brian.

I know. Look at it. It's through his eyeball. I can see it on that little one. Now, as a confirmed member of team people, I cannot say that I'm happy about this. But there are too many people in the 405, and I think the only way to stop that is to kill off a few retards. You don't want to kill off the good people. And I'm not saying this guy was retarded, but his occupation most certainly was.

You know, maybe this is a hard way out, man. It's hard to get out. Get off that photo. He's a bullfighter. His family's bullfighters. And they're like, don't be a hard way out, man. It's hard to get out. Get off that photo! He's a bullfighter. His family's bullfighters. And they're like, don't be a pussy, mijo. Wow, this is a different guy getting one in the face. Way clearer.

This is a different one, though. It's a different dude, right? Isn't it? I think it's the same photo. Is it? Because the horns look different. Because the other one, the horns were black. And this one, they're white.

See, the tips are white and black. And there's a blue thing sticking out of his neck go to the first one you know yeah maybe the same guy might be the same guy it might just be the resolution picked up the actual cover color the horns better that's dark shit dude having horns go through your fucking eye and that's his eyeball blown out like that no shoe either lost a shoe poor bastard i got something better than that that will clean the palate of seeing all that disgusting shit have you seen that little asian girl that can hypnotize animals she puts uh she

puts like seven different animals on on this table and at first it's like a lizard and she's like and then the lizard just passes out and then she goes like a lizard and she's like, kooka-geeky. And then the lizard just passes out. And then she goes to a dog and the dog passes out. And then a frog. See, this involves two things for you.

It involves Asian girls and animals. No, I'm talking about like a little baby. So it might not be real. No, this is on a game show. Oh. Then it's definitely real, right?

Well, I mean, it's pretty interesting because at one point She's like she has like a certain time limit to go down all these animals at one point the dog wakes up It was like fuck happened. Yeah, I just sent you it is amazing though, and doesn't seem like it would make sense Like how can someone hypnotize a dog? Okay, so here's a girl What is this sky ladder what is all that i don't know the chinese america okay so the dog lays down

and then the guys pretend that he's falling asleep too yeah and so the dog just she yeah hear this that's a puppy that's lying down. Yeah. Okay, so the dog is just good at laying down. Look at that cute lizard, though. Mm-hmm. Yeah, lizard is awake, by the way. She flips the lizard upside down and then she starts rubbing the belly. Do you know that that's actually a way to put lizards to sleep? That's why you do that with crocodiles

and alligators. You put them on their back and rub their belly and they pass out? I didn't. But it's kind of cool seeing her do this. I'm pretty sure that that's the case with lizards too. Some of them, when you lay on their back, it's the way they're designed. I think that's what I read about uh sharks as well like sharks if you flip them upside down

there's something about the way they're designed the way they're designed by the big guy upstairs that uh when you do that to them for whatever reason they can't stay conscious it makes sense it's and there's something about sharks you have to like push them if they get stopped like they can't move or something do you know i'm talking they get stopped, like they can't move or something? Do you know what I'm talking about? What do you mean they can't move? If you reinsert a shark in the water, you kind of have to give it a little scoot or it won't be able to swim. I don't know.

That kind of makes sense because they're always constantly in motion. In some ways that makes sense. They might not know what to do. Some Bill Nye fact just entered my brain. That's why I was asking. That might be true. So I'm not impressed with this. The lizard is figured.

The frog figured out that it was on its back. You flip back over. Why is this so disinteresting to you? Because she does it to a bunny rabbit. She does it to a bird. She does it to a dog. She covered the bird's face. That's what you do.

If you cover the bird's face with a blanket like that The bird freaks out and just lays there look. I was just trying to get off of the disgusting bull. Yeah How about the truck crashing into a highway sign this truck was driving down the highway and somebody's dashboard cam Catches the truck hit one of those overpass signs that say like up ahead. You know I five and stuff like that It was too tall for the overpass and it's very scary yeah it's a very scary video though to uh why is it scary i don't know it's just it hit it's uh car accident scary like if you were behind that here it is boom and's just, you don't see that. It didn't even tip over. That's fucking impressive as shit.

Yeah. So what, they had the load up and they forgot that the loader was up and they were driving. Yeah. It's like a kind of like a dump truck thing and it was up and they didn't know it was up. Imagine if that guy worked for you. You know, like you fucking dope. You can't even just look before you drive on the highway, you fucking idiot.

Jesus Christ That's probably a big problem with running a company though right now you have idiots yeah Oh, absolutely if you have people driving shit around for you like rocks You got a buck a bucket of rocks in the back of that thing or you know tractor trailer full of rocks Whatever and you have these dummies that are working for you, dumping these rocks off. And they go, all right, we've dumped it off. Let's drive. You think we should lower that thing?

Yeah, fine. I do it all the time. I do it all the time. And he just takes it on the highway like that. Just destroys that sign. Fucks up. You got to pay for that sign, too. Yeah.

I'm sure that company has to pay for the sign. We used to have employees, because I used to be a manager for a long time. You used to have to hire. How scary is that, ladies for a long time. You used to like have to hire. How scary is that, ladies and gentlemen? If you're one of those people out there with an actual job, imagine Brian being your boss. The worst though is that when you hire somebody

and then you realize, oh shit, that was such a mistake. And you can't, it's really hard just to fire somebody. You have to go through like certain, you know, laws and stuff like that. Yeah, they're like, especially with government jobs. Government jobs is real hard. You know, when we learned that, well, I kind of always knew it, but we really learned that when it came to Nevada and referees and judges for MMA,

really hard to get a judge fired, really hard. Like they could prove to be absolutely, totally incompetent, but it's like working at the DMV. Like once you have one of those government jobs, like you're a government official, officiator, someone who judges fights, like that, you might as well have a job working for any other government agency. It's super difficult to fire you, especially with something like fights. Because if you watch a fight and you've seen a bunch of fights, you kind of know who won, who doesn't want, but it's subjective. Like you might decide that one person won,

but Jamie might decide that another person won. And there are fights where people will adamantly like argue one way or the other, but there's some that are just undeniable. And when you get those undeniable ones, you're like, what the fuck were you watching? How'd this guy win?

And those undeniable ones, you got to step in, you got you watching? How'd this guy win? And those undeniable ones, you gotta step in. You gotta fire people and they can't. They just can't. They can't because it's subjective. All this person has to do is say,

hey, I officiated a hundred different fighting shows and I was never criticized for any of those. Most of the time, you don't get criticized. It has to be completely egregious

before you get criticized. But it's fucking hard as shit to fire one of those people. They just, uh, they can dig their heels in, especially if they're a part of a minority group, you know, then they can, you know, get people behind them. And I've, I've literally heard that conversation before. Like someone say, well, there'd be two different problems. One, uh, firing someone is hard. And then firing someone who might be black or a woman, they go is even harder. And I went, firing someone is hard. And then firing someone who might be black or a woman, they go is even harder. And I went, you gotta be kidding me. Like when you, if you fire a judge, it's not based on their competency. Like some of it has to be considered

like whether or not they're black or a woman. And he goes, absolutely. Absolutely. He goes, you might as well be, like I said, firing someone who works for any other government, government agency. You have to treat it like that. Whereas like you would just like it was like roast battle. OK, let's put roast battle in context, which is an awesome show that people judge. And it's very rare that anybody disagrees on who won the roast battle. But it can get close. Right. It can get close. It gets weird. It gets weird. Sometimes people are biased. Right. Yeah. They get biased or they're just doing it because they want to see another round.

Like the scoring part's just not really even real. Sometimes that does happen. That definitely happens. But when a guy gets trounced, it's pretty obvious, right? But in fights, guys have gotten trounced and still lost or still won. The guy who got his ass

kicked has still won a decision. That has happened. Not just once. A gang at times. There was a lady that was doing that not just once a gang of times there was a lady that was doing that in vegas and she was responsible for like two or three really bad decisions one of them was pacquiao um uh timothy bradley and uh there was another there was another like big fight i forget what the other one was i forget she had an initial name, like a TJ something or another. She's retired. I don't remember. I don't remember what she looked like.

But I remember people saying that it very well could have been that she was paid off by people. CJ Ross. Yeah, that was the one. I think she's retired. She just took so much heat because people gamble on those fights, especially a Pacquiao fight. You're talking about millions of dollars being exchanged millions i mean how many people bet on a pacquiao fight that gets pretty nutty so this who knows who came up to that lady and told her look like i do

is yes a draw is it close is it close it's close right it's close? It's close, right? It's close, right? It's a draw. So a judge is like an appointed elected, or not elected, appointed official. Yeah. Can't be replaced. It's very hard. Can a system be changed at all? Like the way that judging has happened? No, very hard to change it. You know who's got a great judging idea is Anthony Hardonk, who used to fight for the UFC.

Now he's a trainer, trains at Dynamics in Santa Monica, trains a lot of UFC fighters. But he's got a great idea for a scoring system. And his idea for a scoring system is totally different than the one they have now. What they have now is what's called the 10-point must system, and it's what boxing uses. So everybody starts out with 10 points. But if, say, you knock me down, then you get, like, you have 10 and I have 8 because you knocked me down. If I lost the round, then it's 9. But 10-9s can kind of go either way.

Like, 10-9, like, I might think you won 10-9, but somebody else might think Brian won 10-9. That's real subjective. But once a guy gets knocked down, it's pretty universally 10-8. Unless a guy was dominating the whole round and then got knocked down, then it would be 9-9. Then it would be a draw. But that's usually not what happens. Usually when a guy gets knocked down, then it would be 9-9. Then it would be a draw. But that's usually not what happens.

Usually when a guy gets knocked down, it's 10-8. What Hardonk is saying is that that doesn't make any sense and that all of the scores – I know his name's silly, but he's from Holland. All of the scores for all the techniques should count. So, like, the first round might be six. You might have six and he might have two because like you beat him up, you did a bunch of things to him

and all those things count as points. And then the next round, it might be you have four and you have three. So even though there's two rounds in the books and you won the first round and he won the second round, he only won the second round by one point. Whereas you won the first round by a bunch of points because you're counting up all the different things that you did during

that round. So it's a cumulative. So instead of this 10-9 system where you can have two 10-9 rounds, but one 10-9 round, you totally kick Jamie's ass. But the next 10-9 round, Jamie barely barely squeaks by you. Barely. Almost like a roast battle situation where you

give it to him because he came back from that first round. And then you're even going into the third and final round. But you're not even. The reality is you fucked him up way more than he fucked you up. And he's got a really good point with that. Because the idea of having two 10-9 rounds and one of them is just vastly different. There's 10-9 rounds where a guy literally does nothing to the other guy, just gets his ass kicked all over the place and just survives, still loses 10-9.

And then in the other one, two guys go toe-to-toe, and it's almost indiscernible who won, and that's also 10-9. Stupid. He's totally right. And what his idea is a score shouldn't be like 49-48, 49-47, and the third judge scores it. He's like, it really should be a number like 30-12 or 37-6 or 45-13 or 45-40. There's big numbers if the fight has a lot of action. Like, a lot of shit's going on. It's not just 10-9.

There's head kicks and takedowns, or there could be a 10-9 round where both guys like Anderson Silva versus Talas Salaitis. Here's a perfect example. Anderson Silva fought Talas Salaitis, and neither one exchanged. Neither one did anything. There was many times in that fight it was boring as fuck. Because Anderson's a counter-striker,

and Talas is a jiu-jitsu fighter. So Anderson knew that he could pick him apart on the outside and not do much. And Talas knew that if he ran at Anderson, it's like running into a meat chipper or a wood chipper. So he had to figure out which way to play the fight out. So there was very little action. It was a really boring fight. Well, that's still 10-9. That's a 10-9 round. I mean, these are 10-9 rounds. How could that be a 10-9 round when, you know, come up with something fucking completely crazy and chaotic that could

also be a 10-9 round? Like Shogun versus Dan Henderson. They beat the fuck out of each other. That could also be a 10-9 round. That's crazy. It doesn't make any sense. Fights where there's a lot of action, the score should be higher. And I think that would also show how exciting fighters are. You could say Michael Jordan scored 50 points playing for the Chicago Bulls. And everybody's like, holy shit, Jordan scored 50 last night? Well, if Ronda Rousey fights Betch Cohea again and beats the fucking shit out of her for the first round, but somehow or another Betch makes it into the second round,

and you look at the score, her score for the first round was 162. Cohea had one. If you see something like that, that's like, holy shit. I actually think it makes it better. How would you say you'd do it, though? Would you just break the round up into quarters, and each quarter you get, like, 10 points? No. It would have to be just like scoring in basketball.

It would have to be the techniques that land. So, like, say if you and Jamie are fighting, and you hit him with, like, five leg kicks in a row, you'd have to figure out a way to quantify those leg kicks. Like what is worth more? Is a leg kick worth two points and a jab worth one point? Is a right hand that rocks you worth five points and one that grazes off you worth one point? You'd have to figure out, and it would have to be at least partially subjective

because the the real quant like the real undeniable measurable thing in a fight is the knockout and the submission the tko even is problematic because there's fights that are stopped we like ah just the guy was fucking that guy up, but I would have liked to have seen the guy had a chance to survive. And then there's other referees where the guy could get fucked up way worse, and the referee lets it go on, and the guy winds up winning the fight. Frankie Edgar versus Gray Maynard, two and three. The first time they fought, Edgar beat him by decision. The second time they fought, Edgar almost knocked him out.

Or Gray Maynard almost knocked. First fight, Gray Maynard won a decision. Second fight, Gray almost knocked him out, and then Frankie wound up making it to the end, and it was a draw. And then the third fight, Gray almost knocked him out again in the first round, and Frankie wound up knocking him out later in the fight. So in fights like that, a worse referee would have called that fight in the first round, and Gray Maynard would have knocked him out and won the title.

So it's one of those weird things where you just got to... There is a certain amount of subjective decision-making that's going to be involved in fights. But I think if the score was based on the actual damage that was done, you'd have to figure out what it's worth, though. What's it worth to have someone's back? What's it worth to mount someone? But I don't think it's a bad thing to figure that out.

I think it would be worth a lot for the sport to get outside of this boxing system. Isn't damage subjective, too, though? Yes, totally. Because one hit from, you know, I mean, you could hit me and Brian both the same way, and it's going to hurt us a different way. Absolutely.

How does that count the same way? Yeah, and some to hurt us a different way. Absolutely. How does that count the same way? Yeah, and some guys can take a shot way better than other guys can. And the same shot, like you hit Mark Hunt with it, and he'll eat it and smile at you. And the same shot, you hit another guy with it, and his legs go out, and he's done. Yeah, it's hard to say. But you base it on how hurt the guy was, what the impact was, how clear the impact was.

There'd be a lot of factors. There's a lot of factors that would play in when you would deal with scoring a fight. But it's got to be way better than what they're doing right now. What they're doing right now is just terrible. There's so many fights. Like Ramsey Nijm. Nijm. He hates when I say Nijm. I always fuck many fights like Ramsey Nijm. Nijm. He hates when I say Nijm. I always fuck it up. Ramsey Nijm. He got robbed in his last fight. The gentleman who he fought, I forget his name, doesn't matter. But I thought Ramsey clearly won the

fight and they gave it to the other dude. And I was like, that's bullshit. That guy did what he was supposed to do, won the fight, and he didn't win the fight. Why? Because the judges were incompetent. Everybody ringside that was with me, cage side, Joe Silva, Sean Shelby, rather, we're looking at each other, shaking our head, like, what the fuck? You know, Dana was shaking his head. A lot of people were shaking their head, like, this is ridiculous. How the fuck did this happen? This is terrible. This is a goddamn terrible decision. There was another one recently where Dana was on record talking about it there was a it was a big oh michael johnson michael johnson and benil dariush a lot of people thought michael johnson won that fight

i thought it was a little closer than um a lot of people were thinking i thought dariush did a lot of stuff that for whatever reason people weren't giving him credit for but still thought johnson it was real fucking close i thought johnson probably got the nod i'd have to go over it again with the sound off maybe and really trying to analyze it point by point but you know a lot of people were pissed a lot of people who watched it live were really pissed and uh it'd be cool in the future the technology would be there to be able to act accurately find out how strong each punch is. It's almost like you could wear a bracelet that can detect that almost in the future or something like that.

Right, like really detect the amount of damage you've sustained. Like the video game. Right, so like one big punch is worth like three or four weak ones, you know, like bing, bing, bing, or boom. Right, and it's all done by pressure and and vibration of the actual hit Mm-hmm. I think also the idea of having three judges is not necessary I think they should have more than three judges I know because I think they would probably if you got five experts and it's not hard to find judges You could go on the underground you go on mixed martial arts calm and find a hundred people

They're way more competent than anybody's working today or as competent as the best people working today. I really stand by that. I really think fans, like really big-time fans, they probably know more about MMA than most referees or most judges, rather. Because most judges, I think there's a good percentage of them that really don't even give a fuck about the sport. It's just they're doing it. Some of them are fans of the sport, but some of them definitely aren't.

So I think that having more judges would be good, and I think another thing that would be good is allowing the people at home to vote. Allowing them to vote online. So maybe draws would be broken up by the online score. Absolutely. It's not a bad idea. They should totally be more interactive. Why not? The technology

is there, and that would make more sense. Do you know how dope that would be? Oh yeah. If they went, okay, we're going to go to the internet. It's a draw, so we're going to go to the internet. Or just have a score based on internet and a score based on reality. So the internet score I won by a landslide, but

it gets really biased that way. Of course it does. It's part of the fun. All-star games get ruined in some sports because of those fans can vote stuff. Oh, man. Baseball. The whole American League was going to be one team this year.

You're right. I take it back. Take it back. Plus, there's some fighters that people hate. Everybody hates. They like to hate them, too. They're like, fuck, that guy's too cocky. There's a lot of people that would try to vote againstor mcgregor just because he's doing too well

i'm hoping that guy falls on his face if you're up in like the third round in this scenario where you can score that way and you're up like i don't know 35 to 15 and you kind of just stop because you're up right like what how do you prevent that or can you not or is that just a problem i mean that's just part of the game but the guy who's down it's his job to go after you now and try to score and win, try to knock you out, try to stop the fight. Sometimes we're a guy, we all know this, we're guys going into the third round and he got his ass kicked the first two rounds and his corner says,

you've got to stop him. You've got to finish this fight. He knows it. He knows it and the other guy knows it too. If someone has clearly won two rounds in a row, all you have to do is fucking dance around in that third round. Guys have done that before and it wound up fucking them over. I don't know. I think the system sucks. The system is terrible, but Hardonk's idea is the best I've ever heard. Doc Hamilton, who's a very good judge and

a long time martial arts practitioner. He had a good system and his system was a half point system. His system was instead of 10 points, you use half points too. So like in cases where it's like real close, you could say, well, that guy won, but he only won by half a point. Or he won by a point where it's really clear. Or he won by two points if he's really got his ass kicked. Like utilize the point system and make it a bit more obvious that there's a gap. And that'll, a cumulative, that'll add up towards the end of a third round.

You would be able to add that. Like, well, the first round he won by half a point, but the second round he won by two points. And then it would all, like, it would show up better. I just think the ten-point system as they use it right now really is lame. And it comes from boxing. It's just just it's not a good system for MMA It's a good system for boxing right because boxing is pretty much boxing MMA has so many different kinds of scoring that like like you could be on the ground and haven't being choked out the whole entire

Round and that has to mean something. Yeah. Yeah, and it's also like who decides like if you say if you beat a guy up standing you you beat him up for like the first minute Hit him with a ton of punches But then he takes you down and gets on top of you for four minutes But doesn't do anything hits you with like a few pity pat punches But most of time you defend yourself a lot of times people think that guy who was on the bottom Getting hit with the pity pat punches by the guys on top of him lost the round Even though he beat the shit out of that guy for the first minute like he did way more

damage that first minute that guy's cut he's beat up his eyes swelling he got hit with bombs but he survived enough to get the takedown and then because he was on top for more time people would give him that round so it's goofy as fuck man It's really hard to figure out how to do a better job of scoring it. But I think that Hardock has the best idea I've ever heard. And I'm going to have him on the podcast someday, someday soon, because he's out here. He's out near Woodland Hills. So I'm going to have him on soon and have him talk about it and talk about training and stuff like that, too. But I think his system system is way better here's something I wanted to bring up because it's pretty fucking crazy there was a new study that was out in reset me you know amber lions company she by the

way has become a complete drug addict are you serious she's a total drug you know just kidding I mean that the nicest way way. Amber, call me. She's a, call him. He's got the shit. She's become like a complete psychedelic head. That's all she does. She's just traveled around the world doing psychedelics. But she wrote this, she's got this new website. It's called reset.me, obviously, to sort of signify the profound effects of psychedelics.

And that's the name of the website and what many people think that psychedelics do. And so this guy, Professor David Nutt, had this, that's his name too, not as funny as Hardonk, but it's pretty close. Both thick guys. So he had a three-day conference. It's called Breaking Convention. It's held in London. hard on but it's pretty close both thick guys three so we had a three-day conference uh it's called breaking convention that's held in london and basically what they're saying it's it's to explore the benefits of psychedelics but they're saying that psilocybin switches off part of the

brain that causes depression which is insane that's uh that's amazing like go to that story um so you know there to get back on that. So, you know, there's all these problems that they have with trying to legalize different things that are beneficial, like legalizing for soldiers, people with PTSD. But they found a lot of different drugs that can help people that have been through traumatic situations. Psilocybin is one of them. MDMA is a big one. MDMA apparently has profound effects for people who've seen horrific things and profound in the fact that it lets them change their perspective on it and literally change their memory, change what it means to them

to have had this experience and allows forgiveness in a way that's like really unprecedented. So this guy, Professor Nutt, it's a really interesting article. There's a lot of different talk about psychedelics in it, but about the potential for drugs like psilocybin, LSD, and cannabis too. And that he's talking about how because these drugs are illegal, patients are suffering, committing suicide because they're not getting treated for their depressions as pain, or their pain rather. It's interesting because I think more and more as time's going on, you're seeing these things become mainstream. These subjects become mainstream. The John Hopkins psilocybin study.

There's been quite a few different studies that have come out that have shown the benefits of a lot of different drugs to dealing with things that are conventionally, you know, what do they give you for depression? They give you SSRIs or they give you something else. But this is a completely different effect. And that's actually what ari said ari has said that psilocybin was what really helped his depression helped it in a big way it's interesting when i was in toronto i i allegedly maybe i've ate some shrooms both nights i was there is it illegal to say you ate shrooms and i don't know nowadays they they check your twitter when you're going through the airport. What? Yeah. Come on. Yeah, every time I go travel now, me and Tony both get put into a room,

and then they check your Twitter to see, like, where are you working tonight, huh? Oh, okay, here we go. Tony actually got caught, allegedly. Doing what? Because I think they recently passed this law where you don't have to do this anymore, but when you work in Canada as a comedian, you have to get a work permit. And that causes the place. Oh, yeah.

But if it's like a really small little show, it's like a lot of places like, ah, just, you know, you're on vacation or whatever. And I think. Who said that? The people that are booking the show? Yeah. They're idiots. Yeah, I know. You can't do that.

We found this out. This is like early on. Eddie Bravo did that, too. Yeah. I know. You can't do that. We found this out. This is like early on.

Eddie Bravo did that too. Yeah. And so, but Tony said that they just went on his Twitter page and just was like, where are you at? And they grounded him and made him fly back. You should have told me he doesn't have a Twitter. Was he retarded? No, they just Googled his name. Oh.

Whoops. So that's one thing that's cool about having a fake last name. But yeah, what were we talking about right before that. Mushrooms. Oh, yeah. So when I ate mushrooms, this was the first time where I actually never, I didn't eat to try to trip hard. I was just like, you know what? I'm going to take a little bit while I'm at this bar.

And so it was just enough that I immediately felt insane amounts of happiness. And I wasn't like seeing anything or or like it wasn't like like a trippy experience but I know a lot of people that do that thing where you eat a little bit of mushrooms every day have you heard about that yeah and I wonder if that has there's something to that because that could be almost like a imagine being prescribed like a happy pill every day and it was just ground-up mushrooms But it was just a smaller amount Where you're not seeing anything, but you still feel happy because that's how I felt and it caused me to eat more

When I was like, oh, this is great mushrooms So but then I got out of that just happiness and I started tripping and seeing things But this small amount that I originally ate made me feel really happy i was bouncing off the wall that's a common thing that people do they microdose and they take it all day yeah it's real common people do that and it definitely has an interesting effect i've taken small doses before and it makes you just feel relaxed it also makes the things that you thought were super important seem so silly like things that were bothering you like who cares like whatever like you feel like if someone was mad at you and like oh is that person mad at me you take a little micro dose of mushrooms

and you're like I feel I almost feel bad for them being mad at me you know like people talking shit about you whereas like it would hurt your feelings you take a little mushrooms you like feel bad for them like this person is lashing out in this ridiculous way Mushrooms are beautiful man. They're so important. Mm-hmm. So gross it they're illegal It's so bizarre that after all these different years all these different studies There's never been one that's shown that it kills people never been one that's shown that it causes you to lose your brain or even get Diarrhea, I mean, there's just nothing. There's no reason why it should be illegal. There's no like glaring health issue. And yet still you could go to jail as much as you would go to jail if you had probably more so than heroin, right? Isn't heroin a schedule too?

We've gone over this before. Like marijuana and mushrooms, the schedule ones, like a lot of the schedule ones are like super beneficial and they're the most illegal. If you look at the Schedule 1 versus Schedule 2 chart, I think Schedule 2 is cocaine because they have medical cocaine. It's like the idea of Schedule 1 is known medical use. And to have marijuana and psilocybin, two of the most beneficial plants of all time in the no known medical use category just shows how corrupt these criminals are because that's just a lie like anybody could go to them with a series of links like I can email them tell me who it is it's a Heather's drug czar guy I'll email you just a gang of links you click on those links and then tell me if you think it's

still schedule one after it's over and if you do think that you're a crook I think the only difference between like a cocaine or psychedelic is that it will speed up schizophrenia and crazy people and then we'll just have way too much crazy people in this world if mushrooms were illegal yeah maybe or maybe they're gonna be crazy anyway I mean there is an argument for that that's there's a certain amount of people that was the what that was in the culture High where they talked about it accelerating psychosis and paranoia and all the different issues. And they were saying there's no jump.

Even though more people are smoking pot than ever, there's no statistical jump in the amount of people that are psychotic. For weed. But mushrooms, I think, will definitely break you. If you have mild schizophrenia and you're going to get it later in life, you'll probably speed it up by twice.

You're not a scientist. I'm Dr. Brian. I don't know if you should be throwing that around. But I do think that pot, if you eat it, is just as likely to do you in, maybe even more so. Because pot, if you eat it, is not reassuring. There's no sweetness to the overdose when you're eating pot. It's just fear. Fear and death and spiral. I don't know what you trip out about when you're eating pot. It's just fear. Fear and death and spiral.

And I don't know what you trip out about when you take mushrooms. Heart. Or not mushrooms, edible pot. But for me, it's always like mortality and the death of friends and people getting sick around you and the body ceasing to work properly.

Especially people that I know like you that smoke cigarettes and shit like that. I freak out about you when I eat pot. I do. Cause I feel like there's people around me that are poisoning themselves. They don't see it. I'm like, Oh Jesus,

what is he doing? Fuck. The eating pot is a, that's the, for me, it's like one of the big paranoia inducers of all the different drugs. Stop doing it. Do you still eat pot?

I don't eat pot anymore. Don't be a pussy. Get back in there. The head of the DEA, I'll try to highlight this statement so you can read it. This was like two weeks ago he said this in a report with Conference Call.

If you want me to say that marijuana is not dangerous, I'm not going to say that because I think it is. Do I think it's as dangerous as heroin? Probably not. I'm not an expert. But who's the fucking expert? It's hilarious. That's the head of? Probably not. I'm not an expert. But who's the fucking expert? It's hilarious. That's the head of the DEA, and he's not an expert.

And he's saying stupid shit that marijuana is dangerous. I think it is. You think it's dangerous, Chuck Rosenberg, you fucking dunce? That's so goofy. You know it's not dangerous. You know what's dangerous? Idiots. Idiots are dangerous if you give them wiffle ball bats.

If you give them spoons and electrical sockets. You know, give them a fork and a toaster, they're dangerous. People are dumb, man. Heroin is clearly more dangerous than marijuana. Okay, he said that. Hold on. Then this week, Rosenberg evolved further. After a press briefing on Wednesday where people shit in his mouth, he told reporters that heroin is clearly more dangerous than marijuana. According to Huffington Post, Rosenberg said he still considers marijuana to be harmful and dangerous, but was willing to make a firm distinction between it and other substances.

Well, he's a fool. You can't say harmful and dangerous unless you have data. You are a DEA agent. You're the head guy. You should have data. You know, that's the whole idea. Like, can you say that aspirin is dangerous? Yes, you can.

You know why? Because aspirin, regular old aspirin, kills a fuckload of people every year. A lot. Thousands. What's it from? They die from it. You overdose from aspirin. You take too much aspirin.

Okay, let's guess. Let's guess. How many do you think die every year from aspirin? Now that you know that people die from aspirin. Right. I'd probably say 70,000 people. 30,000 people a year. Really?

I was going to say a few hundred. Well, no, I'm just thinking that a lot of people have aspirin, and that's probably something that people try to overdose to kill themselves on. I know aspirin also saves people's lives, because that's what you're supposed to take if you're feeling like you're going to have a heart attack. And also, they say, is a preventative measure. Taking a little bit of aspirin that, because aspirin is an anti-inflammatory.

And taking anti-inflammatory, like the big issue with health, or one of the big issues, I should say, is inflammation. It's a big causer of a lot of different diseases. And that's why they say that if you clean up your diet, your body becomes less inflamed. That's one of the benefits of cryogenic chamber, too. They think that the cryo treatments provide those cold shock proteins and anti-inflammation responses. And they clean up inflammation inside the body, leading to less disease. That's one of the theories behind it.

How long do you do that at a time? Three minutes. Is it like torture three minutes or is it like, okay, all right. It's not fun. This is almost too long. It's cold as fuck, dude. Jesus.

FDA reverses its position on daily aspirin use. Look at this, man. They used to tell you you need to take aspirin. If you haven't had a heart attack, step away from the aspirin bottle. If you're one of the 40 million Americans who take aspirin every day, wow, 40 million. The FDA says, let's see how many people.

If you had to guess, Jamie, how many people do you think died? 750. Hmm, okay. I said, what, 40,000? Yeah. Each year. All right, here we go. I'm saying 200.

200. Let's see. Animal causes. Oh! 15,000? 15,000. Oh, my God. Look at this. Each year, 15,000 people die and 100,000 people are hospitalized as the result of aspirin

and other NSAIDs, non-steroidal anti-inflammatories. Wow. That's insane. Is aspirin what you're not supposed to give kids when they have a fever? Or is that Tylenol? Dude, listen to this. I don't know. But listen to this crazy statistic.

Aspirin kills 400% more people than the swine flu. Nearly 100,000 Americans die every year from adverse reactions to FDA-approved prescription drugs. What? That's insane. Did you know that? God damn. Yeah, these numbers are nuts. That's incredible, man. 107,000 patients are hospitalized annually for non-steroidal anti-inflammatories, which also includes, by the way, ibuprofen. Ibuprofen is also a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory. That's the period one, right?

No, no. It's ibuprofen, Advil, headache stuff. Advil's the best. It's the best for headaches and anything like muscle aches, torn muscles or anything. Why do you like Advil? I always liked the Tylenol guy. It's ibuprofen. Tylenol sort of like, I think, if I had to guess, I think dulls the pain more, whereas

ibuprofen gets the source of the pain more, which is inflammation. But most athletes prefer ibuprofen. I think it has like less risk factors too. But apparently a lot of people get fucked up by anti-inflammatories. I just can't believe it's that high. The numbers are nuts, man. Swine flu is safer than aspirin. 16,500 non-steroidal anti-inflammatory deaths occur among patients with rheumatoid arthritis

or osteoarthritis each year in the United States. Whoa, that's a nutty number, man. 16,500 deaths from anti-inflammatory pills, from ibuprofen and aspirin wow so those those drugs are 1000% more deadly than swine flu this accidental death does it say that does anyone using it to commit suicide people definitely use it commit suicide but it's hard that's all bad suicide apparently that's a rough one it takes a long time to end, too. My headache's gone. I feel great. I feel too good. What do you think is the number one method of suicide? Overdose, right? Definitely.

Or cutting. Cutting? Like cutting your neck? I mean, I know girls that cut, and they're not even trying to kill themselves. So I would imagine cutting is... Just cut after they fuck you. They're like, what am I doing? Cut something off.

Have you known a lot of cutters? It's weird how many cutters are out in Los Angeles. It's not that many cutters. It's all the girls you're dating. it's the pool you're drawing from most guys are like what the fuck is he talking about? People are listening to this right now going dude most people don't cut themselves Most people don't cut themselves Brian have you seen that new? 3d just projector display. It's one of the most change the subject dying

What I would just want before we get into that I just really wanted to what do you think the number one method for suicide is I'd say if you had a guess cutting cutting mm-hmm they're cutting wrists really cutting throat jumping off something jumping off something I'm gonna say overdose I say over to put gunshots gotta be in there somewhere right all right let's let's google number one method of suicide number one death by chocolate no it's funny when you write number one method in um google homicide comes up first how am i saying that's that's what the google suggestion to fill in the blank number one method of homicide how many people just Google that because they fucking

hate their wife, they hate their husband. I'm like, fucking piece of shit, what's the best method of killing yourself? That's your own personal cash, Joe. No, it's not. Yeah, because I have different things. When I type in stuff, different things come up, but then you, your stuff. Please. In Google? Have you never Googled that before? I've never Googled

that before. Wait, what'd you type in? Number one method of... number one method of number one method of and also yeah that's just how i said yeah see fuck off did you know though if you're logged if you're logged in though sometimes it comes up different because i said something like dude we're wrong we're way wrong what we're really wrong number one is firearm so he's shooting 50 50%. That makes sense. 50%, they shoot themselves. 24%, they hang themselves or suffocate. Poisoning, which I thought was number one, is only 16%. Jumping off shit, Jamie thought, 2.3%.

Cut, 1%. Wow. 1.8%. I totally lost that. Drowning is 1.1%. Fire is 0.4%. Who would do that? That's crazy.

Transporter related. That means you jump in front of a truck. Transporter. What a weird euphemism. Transporter related. That's 0.4%. I'm going to die by transporting. Yeah, how weird, man.

Firearms, 50. That's America, though. That by transporting. Yeah, how weird, man. Firearms, 50. That's America, though. That's America. That's how we do. When in doubt, take it out. It's a scary way to die, knowing that you're going to pull that trigger and it's all going to go blank.

But I've known more than one person that's done it. In my lifetime, I've known several people that have killed themselves with guns. The weird article is when someone does something like that, they go, we need to change the gun laws. What? Like when someone kills someone with a gun, we need to change the gun laws. Well, I guess it's kind of easier to kill someone if you have a gun, but if somebody wants to kill you, it's because they want to kill you.

It's not because they have a gun. It's not like you have a gun and go if somebody wants to kill you, it's because they want to kill you. It's not because they have a gun. It's not like you have a gun and go, I'm thinking about fucking killing somebody now that I got this gun. No, you only use a gun to kill somebody because you want to kill them, unless it's an accidental gun shooting and then you're dealing with a totally different situation.

But the idea that giving someone a gun makes them more likely to kill people, I'm not sure if I buy that. When the LA riots were going on, a lot of people had their own personal firearms. And, uh, this guy,

I know he said he had to like go on the roof of his apartment with a gun because they were trying to break into his house and stuff like that. And he actually had to shoot somebody. Uh, shot somebody. Yeah. And like the arm or something like that. I think he said. Who is this guy?

I don't want to say. He might be a bullshitter. I can tell you off air. Is he a bullshitter? No, no, absolutely not. Occasionally? Never. Yeah?

No. What does his dick taste like? Popcorn. Your poop? Popcorn. Your poop. I think that Anthony Bourdain covered that on one of his shows, the riots in Koreatown,

where the Koreans had to arm themselves and get on top of their buildings because all the cops were in Beverly Hills. Remember that shit? Koreatown just sort of got ransacked, and these guys were on top of their roofs with rifles. They were getting in trouble for having guns out But if you look there was like this giant wall of cars that guarded Beverly Hills It was really kind of fucked up and racist and creepy That was a creepy moment the way the police

shielded parts of Los Angeles for the riots and didn't do anything to protect other parts. And obviously they were given mandates. Obviously there was someone that was telling them what they're supposed to do and not supposed to do. But the weird choice was to just so openly and clearly defend wealthy people. There's a lot to lose in the wealthy people's houses worth millions and billions of dollars and a lot of, you know, histories. Yeah, but so the poor people and their stores aren't worth as much? Yeah, but their PlayStation 2 can get replaced easier than, like, a painting that was made by Da Vinci. No, no, no, no, no.

You're not looking at it right. They're talking about businesses. These people were on businesses. Like, these businesses probably got a million dollars worth of merchandise, and their business is getting broken into. It's really not that much different than a rich person's house it's just the fact that it's a business in Koreatown that that right was in the new NWA movie was cool seeing them remake that riot yeah yeah yeah there's an article about art

thieves and about how little, did you read that today? It was out today? About how few works of art ever get recovered when there's art theft. It's really interesting. When I lived in Boston about 25 years ago, there was this big art, big stolen art event

where these people broke into the, I think it was, I don't remember which, I want to say the Getty, but I know I'm wrong. It's not the Getty Museum. There was a, Huntington?

No, no, no. There was a museum in Boston and it was a big time museum and these guys broke into it 25 years ago and stole a shitload of Rembrandts and like, here it is. What is it?

Two suspects. This is what you're talking about, I guess. 25 years ago. These guys are dead now, though. They are? When did this come out? Just recently. This article's recently?

August 7th. Huh. The two men suspected of masquerading as police officers to rob an art museum of $500 million worth of masterpieces in 1990 are dead, the FBI say. Two years ago, investigators announced they knew who stole 13 works, including paintings by Rembrandt and Vermeer.

I don't know who that dude is. From Boston's Isabella Stewart, the Gardner Museum. That's what it is. But they refused to elaborate, saying only the investigation was focused on recovering the artwork. So the suspects are dead. But it's interesting. $500 dollars worth of art and no one's ever recovered the art so someone's got the art do you think it's just like

north korea like they just have like a bunch of galleries like yes we have all the most famous american paintings and stuff you know what i mean like no i think it's rich people yeah i think it's really really rich people that don't give a fuck where that art came from they have a private collection and they walk by it and they laugh you you know that they bought a Rembrandt that they have a Picasso But I think that it's dangerous for them because if they get caught they know what that fucking thing is It's like if you if you have a Rembrandt your wall, I don't know about you, but me I would have no idea what it is Someone have to tell me, you know I would but it's just someone who's like a serious art collector enough that they're willing to spend millions of

dollars on a painting they're gonna know exactly what that thing is but people are creepy man people that are collectors like collectors of things people get real creepy about real specifics like they want a Picasso they have a Rembrandt they have a this guy of that guy and they need a Picasso I need a Picasso but nothing is on the market. And then some guy comes up to you and says, I know something that's about to go on the market. And, you know, right now it is in a collection that is public and it will no longer be public. And someone will own it and it could be you.

Would you be interested in this? And you're like, well, what are we talking here? Like, what are we saying? Well, we'll show you a photograph and, you know they'll show you like what it is and the guy goes well uh maybe what are we talking here well we're talking about two million dollars oh okay i think we could work something out and then they have to figure out how to exchange money where it doesn't get traced yeah and then have it looked at and praised to make sure it's real i mean that's that's that's tough that that whole black market thing well Well, people have been busted doing that.

They've been busted doing that with statues. There was a Roman statue that they brought this guy in. Brian Callen told me the story. And then I went and listened to it on something else where this guy had this statue and they had spent so much money appraising it and they bought it and they brought in this expert, and the expert literally looked at it for a few minutes and goes, can you get your money back?

And he's like, what are you talking about? He goes, can you get your money back? This is fake. You need to get your money back. He's like, what? And apparently he had bought it from a legitimate source, but the legitimate source had been swindled. It's like they can figure out a way to actually add mold to shit to make it look super old. They bury things underground and add mold to them.

Like, they figure out a way to have, because if you can find something, like, something that's, like, really old like that. Somebody gave me a coin. Mark Gordon gave me a coin. It's an 1800-year-old coin from Rome. But there's a fuckload of them. Like, you know, they made a bunch of them. This guy, whoever the guy was at the time, had a shitload of his coins made. You can get a hold of them.

They're not cheap, but you can get them. But a statue from back then, like just a really complex, well-worked piece of sculpture is probably worth insane amounts of money. well-worked piece of sculpture is probably worth insane amounts of money. You know, if there's only one of them and it's 1,800 years old, 2,000 years old, it's probably worth millions of dollars. So if someone could sit around and figure out how to fake it. So you make one, you make it real close, and you slowly like chip away at it and add to it and then figure out a way to simulate erosion

and then figure out a way to get this mold in it. And this mold was apparently the right mold for the area. So it had a lot of people fooled. But this one art expert just looked at it and was like, this is not right. This is not real. Like he just knew. He could just tell because he'd just seen so many of them.

Whereas most people, I mean, if you're a guy whose, your expertise is in appraising ancient statues, you develop a finely honed sense of what an ancient statue looks like. So for him, it was like really obvious, like right away. Like the hue is off. Something's off. This can't be real. Holy shit, you got to get your money back quick. Whereas, you know, you or I would be like, whoa, dude, it's like 3,000 years old.

I heard it's 5,000 years old. We'd both be retarded and fucking staring at the stupid thing. Meanwhile, Mike from Calabasas made it. Fat Jew made it. Fat Jew made it. He doesn't make anything, does he? What is this?

That movie documentary, Tim's Vermeer, that Vermeer just came up on here. It made me think of it. Someone, I don't remember which guest brought it up, but this is a really, really great documentary Penn Jillette made about think of it. Someone, I don't remember which guest brought it up, but this is a really, really great documentary Penn Jillette made about this millionaire guy. He actually runs the company that makes the New Tech TriCaster we use here.

He figured out this really long process of how to recreate. He made a forgery, but no one knew how to make the forgery. And he spent years figuring out how this guy Vermeer actually was making these photorealistic paintings and then figured out how to do it himself and was making paintings like a factory almost that were indecipherable from actual Vermeers. Indistinguishable? Yeah.

Wow, that's amazing. Art guys. It's a really cool documentary. Really worth checking out. I heard good things about this. It's awesome. I'd like to watch it again just to get inspired at the

amount of work this guy put in. Anytime Penn Jillette gets involved in something, it's always going to kick ass. He's a smart dude. He looks weird now, though. He's lost a lot of weight. I never say that it's bad for someone to be healthy, but he's unhealthy for so long. You kind of recognize him as being this big, fat guy, and now all of a sudden he's super thin. It's like kind of recognize him as being this big fat guy.

And now all of a sudden he's like super thin. It's like Norton is like really thin right now. It's really weird seeing. Norton's healthy as fuck. He's healthy as. He texted me the other day about cryo chambers. He wants to start freezing. I sent you guys a link, a new 3D display that doesn't require glasses. We've talked about it in the past a lot of what would be so cool is not 3D TVs,

but not having to wear glasses and watch a TV and stuff. And Gizmodo actually had a pretty good article using Cara Santa Maria as an example of the 3D technology. And it's using a whole bunch of different projectors and screens but I guess it's really realistic like if you're staring at and you walk around her it's it looks like her standing right in front of you and they have a wow it's a hologram it kind of is a hologram but I think there will go full screen on that young Jamie so here's that's a fake dude or real dude no this is a real dude this is how it's they're actually showing they make it. Those are all cameras around him, I believe, or lights.

It said 30 cameras. So those are just lights. So the 30 cameras are capturing 30 different images. Right. There's three rows of 10 images. Yeah. So they're recording all of him and all the different angles, both up and down. That's Morgan Spurlock.

That's the Super Size Me guy. And so they're recording him moving in all sorts of different ways. And then what do they do with it? See, now this is, I think, showing what they're filming. Like if you were to walk around. Wow. And then... So they can take this, what we're looking at,

and somehow or another project it in front of you like a hologram, right? Yeah. So like that magic leap technology sort of a thing? Kind of. Hold on, let's see. Let's turn this up a little so we can hear what's going on. 6,000 LED lights and 50 high definition cameras. After they captured all this data,

they put it together to make a 3D model of me. And then they were able to project that onto this screen as you see me now. Wow. So it looks like it is a screen, but it's a 3D screen. So if you were to stare at it, you would be able to walk to the side, to the left, to the right. This guy is a Holocaust survivor.

Imagine going through the Holocaust all the way to 2015, and they turned you into a crazy 3D animated thing. What a series of generational jumps that guy has passed through. Just think how cool it's going to be when this gets a little bit better in the future, like the Hall of Presidents at Disneyland, you know, and stuff like that, where you're actually, holy shit, Abraham Lincoln's sitting right in front of me. Yeah, you're going to get real holographs, real holograms, rather, that are just, you'll probably be shocked when your hand goes through them. And they're going to get to a point,

especially if this magic leap is in any way indicative of what it's going to really look like when it's done. Because right now you're looking at it and it's like, how much of that is proof of concept? How much of that is the actual video of magic leap? If you don't know what magic leap is, Google it. It's a wild new hologram thing that they're doing where they have like an elephant dancing inside a person's palm

they had a um a little ballerina that was on a girl's bed it was like a four inch ballerina but i don't know do you know like how much of that is real that was all uh demo like i think that's not real i think that's just saying what in the future is what it will look like i think i remember reading someone has tried it but he had to be very careful about what he was allowed to say he actually experienced he had a very very uh rudimentary very early version of it's a giant football helmet size thing he had to wear it was projecting things in front of his eyes on it to a screen like thing but they're doing something called light field augmentation it's or making it's like brand new technology that no one else has used we can't compare it to anything i wonder what how they're projecting it like if so

right now he's got to wear this helmet thing and then eventually they'll break it down to like a google glass type size or sunglasses or something like that but i wonder how they're projecting it in front of you like how is it just a is it a recreation of 3d what i was reading it they're putting they're actually projecting light into your eye like we're we're expecting excuse me accepting light into our eye right now like through our irises but they're gonna shoot light into your eye like lasers type stuff how long before someone goes blind or has eye cancer they're saying now that cell phones absolutely cause cancer have you seen that are you serious yeah there's a study that says that's they're pretty positive that cell

phones cause cancer it's going to go to where most people's hand is there such thing as hand cancer because that's what would be the most right from texting all day i don't think people get hand cancer that much hands are pretty durable um but uh let's see this. Cell phones cause cancer. Cell phones and the cancer risk. Yeah. There was a recent article about it where they were talking about it.

I'm trying to find the recent version of it. Don't smoke your cell phone. Berkeley. Berkeley says cell phones cause tumors. This is from just a couple months ago. Yeah, Berkeley is the first city to... Oh, Berkeley's filled with hippies. First city to mandate cell phone

carriers inform buyers of potential radiation exposure. A neuroscientist on why it's premature to claim phones cause cancer. That might have been what I read from the Daily Beast. Hmm. I mean, it makes sense, though.

I think that it's probably not good to have all these Wi-Fi signals running through our fucking houses constantly. I mean, how could it be good that you're throwing hundreds of megabytes around the room in the air, right? I mean, this phone is, I mean, this laptop is downloading shit right now. It's completely unconnected by wires. Yours is as well. Isn't it weird? There is. There's movies in the air right now around us. There's like dick pics right next to your cheek.

Radios. Radio signals in the air. Cell phones. Signals are in the air. Yeah. Well, they say that fucks with bees. That bees, apparently, they hear it like a jackhammer like the ways the way bees communicate they're i think they're pretty positive that bees are

negatively impacted by the sounds and the signals that are flying around them all the time wi-fi cell phone radio all that jazz that it's fucking with their peace. See, I don't know how much we feel or how much it impacts us, but what I do know is every time I go somewhere where there's no cell phone, where it's like Alaska or Montana or something like that, where you're out in the real wilderness, it seems different. Like the actual physical environment of the air seems different. Like when you're standing out there, you're like, what if this is a different kind of solitude? It's a different kind of silence. It's just like

real silence. It's not like there's, there's something missing in the air and it could be just totally bullshit. It could be a placebo. It could be just the fact that you know that you can't get a cell phone signal and there's no one for miles. You can't see anybody that it just like gives you this feeling of solitude that sort of accentuates the you know the quiet of the environment but it might not be it might be there there might be an actual physical thing like a e that you're feeling in your brain that you can't quite put your finger on but it's there all the time it just makes me wonder though if we could look at it like something like a nap though and be

like well they would feel it first you know they're so small that just a tiny gnat or what are those little red dots that are insects that are always like walking around on bricks and stuff you know I'm time was like a bright orange dot you're like I'll just accept that that's a bug that orange dot no no you're talking about this little No. They're like these little insects. It looks like a little red dot. It's like a pixel. But they're super small. I don't know if they have them in California, maybe.

There's two articles in a row here. It's official. Cell phones are killing bees. And then right below it, cell phones don't kill bees. One of them is from 2011, May 21st. The other one is May 19th, 2011. It's hilarious.

How the fuck is someone supposed to figure it out? Do bees squirt? I think they were saying that it interferes with them. So let's see. Bees and cell phones interfere. Let's do this. Interfere. Study links bees decline to cell phones.

This is on CNN. Yeah, and they're saying that the cell phone signals, somehow or another, cell phone radiation may be contributing to the decline of bee populations in some areas of the world. You know, Radiolab had this interesting story about bees where in China, they, because of what, what are you pulling up here, Jamie? It says it doesn't. It says it doesn't?

Yeah. See, that's the government, though. Those are criminals. This is a criminal website. CCD. This might as well be ISIS. Who knows if they're telling you the truth. This is a Huffington Post, bro.

It says it's real. What was I just saying? Oh, decline in bees. In China, they did this study where they found out that they had rapidly declining bee populations for whatever reasons, pollution, whatever. And so they decided that they were going to have to figure out another way to pollinate some of their plants so there's apple trees so they hand pollinated the apple trees and their yield went through the roof because apparently when you have bees do it bees are sloppy fucks they don't even know what they're doing it's like you're asking someone to do something they don't even know what they're doing and they're idiots you know bees are just little robots little insect robots they just run around and they they get this pollen

and they accidentally spread it they're not doing it on purpose but when you have people do it on purpose they had people doing it with paintbrushes and when they had the people doing it with paintbrushes like significant increase in yield but then people wanted more money. And then they realized that, you know, in China, like the more lucrative the business became, the more people organized and said, we want more money. And the more they decided it was cost prohibitive, but they tried, this is all from a radio lab, um, podcast call. I think it's called worth. Don't quote me on that though, but it was all about how much are things worth and one of the things that they were talking about were how much how much is it worth to have bees pollinate these plants that you don't think about it that way you think about it like oh it's just a part

of nature but if you had to put a monetary value on it then maybe you would think more carefully about maintaining healthy bee populations you know and i think the number they were using was like in the billions that having healthy bee populations that pollinate plants is worth x amount of billions of dollars in labor whether or not that's true yeah seems like you could use like those little robot drone things we could almost make our own robot bees in the future well they have done that yeah they have done that m Yeah. They have done that. Monsanto did that. Monsanto has drone bees. You ever seen them? No. Pull them up, Jamie.

Monsanto drone bees. Wait till you see this. This is the idea, I think, is once we pollute the atmosphere to the point where bees can't live anymore, they're going to release these fucking insect hordes into the fields. These horrible little monsters. Boston Dynamics just released a new robot video running through a forest, and it's very creepy looking. Oh, they're terrifying.

It looks like an army soldier. Those fucking things are terrifying, man. Boston Dynamics, they make some of the scariest shit. Did you find any Monsanto bees, drone bee? No. I sent you the link of the other robot one there. If you want to look at that while you're... I have that.

I'm trying to... The only stuff I'm finding on this Monsanto bee are sites that don't look legit. Yeah. Robotic bees to pollinate Monsanto crops. That sounds like a troll. Earthfirstnews.wordpress.com. Dude.

That's it, though. Go to it, and they'll show you the bee. I know, but that's where I'm at. Is it fake? It might be. Go to Snopes. Is'll show you the bee. I know, but that's where I'm at. Is it fake? It might be. Go to Snopes. Is it on a WordPress? It's from Harvard.

It says the Harvard Monolithic Bee. I got the YouTube video. Harvard Microbiotics Lab have been working with its micro air vehicles project since 2009, working on its barring from the biomechanics and social organization of bees the team of researchers is undergoing the creation of A tiny winged robot look at this fucking thing man. Is that real seems real It's the size of a penny Whoa, so they cut that be out of that thing a little circuit board that bee out of that thing.

The little circuit board. Published reports from the lab also describe potential military uses, surveillance, and mapping, but the dime-sized cyber bees have yet to be outfitted with neurotoxin tip stingers. Yuck, yuck, yuck. This looks real as fuck, dude. If this is fake, this is a really elaborate

sort of a hoax. Or it's like a final at some college. Some engineer is like, that was my final. Yeah, it could be. elaborate sort of a hoax that or it's like you know a final at some college you know some engineers like that was my final yeah it could be but i don't think it's anything outside of the realm of possibility oh look at this it is real oh my god look at this fucking thing this is the little tiny fake bug. So how does this thing fly? So you... Oh, wow. Those things go so fast you can't even see it.

So they move just like a real bug. Like the same sort of thing. Printed circuit MEMS is a versatile process for creating machines at the millimeter scale. It can create complex electrical and mechanical systems using a variety of techniques. I don't see it flying. In a process well-suited to mass production, enabling parallel manufacturing

of large numbers of robotic devices. Sounds like an idea, again. Concept. Yeah, they didn't show it fly. They just showed the wings buzzing. Which he could have just hooked up to a battery. Show me it flying, bitch. Why would you show something that flies but not have it fly?

That seems silly, right? Yeah, it doesn't seem right. But that Boston Dynamics robot is real, and it looks like a soldier. It looks like Star Wars running through it. Look at that thing. Oh, it's so awful. There's a video also of it. This is just an animated GIF.

It's terrifying. It's weird because it's hooked up right now to a giant tube in the back of it, but that's just for now. Aren't they owned by Google now or something like that? Prost and Dynamics? Skynet, you mean? Skynet, yeah. They're showing all their different robots right now

in this video. My friend who worked for Google doesn't work for Google anymore, so now I can't find out when they're going to attack. Oh, no. I was hoping that she could at least send me the bat signal if Skynet's going to go live and these robots are going to start attacking. But does she work somewhere better, like Apple or something like that?

She moved to another corporation that I'll tell you about later. But look at this um this thing walking on those uneven rocks. Oh shit. Oh look at that. Look it gets hit, lifts its leg up, it checked the leg kick. Balance. That's a 20 pound ball that slammed into it, a 20 pound piece of metal. Mm-hmm. Or 20 kilograms, we don't know.

Can you imagine these things during riots? They're just gonna throw these robots out that are not going to have any real judgment skills just grab you know keep out the real worry is that this is how we're going to do our wars that these things are going to go into cities and just kill people and this is robot versus robot until robots get to people and they decimate human populations and then we uh that's the wars we have we send robots to kill people and then we send robots to kill robots that are trying to kill people and then we send our robots to kill the people that created the robots to kill the people then we got robot wars yeah that's possible man 100 it's going to start off pretty

cool though like oh my god we're getting attacked, but it's a robot attack, and we have robots, and we're just watching robots on TV here Yeah for a little bit so Jamie there is a video of it Just look up robotic bees could change the world and then go to It's pretty far down like maybe 7 8th into the video You'll see this thing is attached for with a very small wire but it actually is flying it's fucking crazy to look at man it's really weird good it's a three minute video so go to about like 240 something and you can see the actual fake bug flying but it's connected just like that robot is.

The robot's connected with a hose in the back with wires. This is connected with a very small wire. But it's real. So it's not just a proof of concept. They just have to figure out a power source that makes sense. But they're not... The robot bees are fucking crazy and creepy. But what's really creepy is see that thing.

Look at that thing flying. That's real. I mean, it's mimicking a hummingbird or a bee, but look at it. We'll see. This is an actual bee, but look at it right there.

I mean, that is flying. That's nuts, man. Um, here's what's scarier though. Go to 10 incredible micro robots. This is fucking nuts, man. Here's what's scarier, though. Go to 10 Incredible Micro Robots. This is fucking nuts, man.

Wait till you see this video. 10 Incredible Micro Robots. Micro and then Dash Robots. Top one. Yeah, that's it. Check this shit out. This is one style that flies around like little helicopters. Look at these fucking things, man.

They come out of these boxes. So imagine that. You're sitting in your office. This is fake though, right? This is proof of context. Oh, CGI. Yeah, CGI. But look at some of these ones that they're creating.

These are all the different... So this is Self-organizing systems research lab from harvard these things organize and they they can figure out where to go look at this elapsed time 11 hours elapsed time five hours and they form shapes they go into certain positions look at this one of them climb up a wall so some of these are prototypes some of these are proof of concepts some of these are just theories but these there's eggheads working on this stuff right now. That's so awesome. Did you see the video where they downloaded the brain of a worm

and put it into a little Lego robot thing? And it's just running around hitting walls and going up and down. I watched it twice, and watched it twice in the first time I thought it was a woman's brain and I was like oh my god Did you see that they download a woman's brain into a machine to my friend? I'm like no they did I'm like yeah, and I'd like put I'm like oh wait It's just worm, but the whole time I thought This woman is just here

Well she's a worm she can't think she's a Lego But that's funny what do you think they would do if you put your brain in a lego definitely probably go in circles and hit a wall it would just run over to a laptop and just research fat g all day just hang out on mfc there's um a bunch more in that uh that video too one of them is a typer one of them uh is typing with the uh top 10 organizing ones one of them is a typer. One of them is typing. With the top 10 organizing ones, one of them is this little thing that goes over a piece of paper

and like a typewriter would do, but types it. So like you put a message in this little thing and then you put this little thing on a piece of paper and it will print out like a typewriter would

what your message is. Which is really weird. Yeah. You can see that one at like, let's see here. Yeah. Check it out, Jamie. Oh, wow. Zufa Labs.

How hilarious. I don't think it's the same Zufa. But it said like 225. Go to 225. Look at this fucking thing, Brian. I mean, I think that typing is kind of... The idea of a typewriter is kind of outdated. There it is.

Oh, that's cool. Look at that. It just floats across a piece of paper and writes what you wanted it to say. It was fucking very strange, right? Zuta Labs. Not Zufa. But look at that.

It's really neat. But it seems like that's old technology that's Zufa look at that it's really neat but it seems like that's old technology that's just not even created yet you know that seems like I should already been made like it like it seems what would be more like having paper that you could just take a flash and print it by just doing a flag a Xerox machine almost where you're just flashing some paper like a negative photo or something well that's 100% going to happen. I think also what we were looking at earlier,

the Kara Santa Marina thing, the 3D, they're going to be able to do that with just, you're going to take a video or something with your cell phone and be able to send it to Jamie, and Jamie will watch like Princess Leia, help me, Obi-Wan, you're my only hope. Yeah. That's going to happen. It's just a matter of us staying alive long enough

to see things that we never thought could be real. It's not that far away. There's these people that we don't even know. You don't even know they're working on these things. Nobody knows of them. But yet they are like that close to going public. And they're fucking, everybody has to swipe key cards before they go in the building. They check your bag.

They make sure you don't bring your phone. Your phone has to go into a bucket when you go into the into the laboratory because this is all propriet proprietary shit they're checking their they probably have those fucking fake buttons that are really cameras and shit i can see your glasses what do you see those fucking glasses glasses now they have glasses with little tiny cameras in them that are like so hard to see if you look at your selfie camera look how little that goddamn lens is Like the selfie one like the one on the back is tiny right look at my iPhone here But the one the front is fucking stupid tiny. It's so little and it's good

It's really good. I mean look how good a selfie camera is I mean they they do a fucking Incredible job of capturing your image like look at this look at that yeah that's a tiny ass little little pinpoint camera and it's got everyone in this room to the point where you could broadcast periscope from this thing that's like a sharpie if you took a sharpie and dotted a page with it just that that's how big that camera is. And yet it's crystal clear. So that could be in your button. That could be in any. If they're not physically patting you down, you could easily have something like that going on.

Yeah. The one I use in massage parlors looks like a car alarm. You're on the air. Oh. The fuck, man. But it's a video. It films 1080p. You don't film massage parlors you know good? I mean the one

But no, it's uh, it's like actually just looks like a little keychain But if does it does 1080p like it has a little memory card just put it in your computer and next thing You know, it's just like oh you got full video. You just put it on the nightstand next to it point it towards it They're all hats anything. That's really illegal. I'm just kidding. I don't do it Next thing you know, it's just like, oh, you got full video. You just put it on the nightstand next to it, point it towards the girl. Hats, anything. That's really illegal, though. I'm just kidding. I don't do it.

That's the only reason I'm saying. But you think about what you could do that with. I mean, belts would be an easy one, right? Because you could actually hide the battery and everything in the belt. You could literally hide the whole thing in a belt. They would have to give you your own outfit. They would have to make you come into the lab. You have to take off all your clothes,

put them in a locker, and then wear some scrub suit that they provide you. Remember that movie, New Jack City, where they're making cocaine naked? Titties. Yeah. Titties out. That's how they had to do it

because they didn't trust anybody. People would leave with the product. That's the same thing with these laboratories that are about to go live with all this crazy technology they have to take every precaution possible to make sure that people don't go public with their stuff because for every that's one of the things about big inventions whether it's the light bulb or the telephone when these things are being worked on there's usually a bunch of other people working on the exact same thing. Like scientific minds.

Here's the thing about like innovative minds or brilliant people. They don't work in a vacuum. For every nickel of Tesla who comes up with shit completely independent of other people's thoughts, there's most people, what their ideas are based on is based on the ideas of a bunch of other people that are sort of like extrapolated to a point that maybe a few people saw coming. You know, whether it's the idea of a telephone or the idea of holograms or 3D printers

or all these different things. It's like people kind of see it coming and they're all working on it. And then this one Thomas Edison motherfucker comes out with that light bulb and everybody's like, wow, he's a genius. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb and America was changed. Where would a genius thomas edison invented the light bulb and america was changed where would we be for not the work of this great man well there's probably

about five other dudes that were working on exactly the same time that's sort of what always happens with this stuff so a lot of it becomes a rush to getting the funding and getting the patents and then figuring out how to get it produced. But there's usually probably a bunch of people working on similar shit. So, like, right now, when you see this stuff, like these little micro-robots, when you see those big, crazy Boston Dynamic robots, and you see artificial intelligence, and this is all stuff that they're going public with. They're probably so close in so many different labs

developing something that's really going to make you shit your pants. Right? I got one I saw today. What'd you see? Some researchers have got a pig heart to work inside of a primate for 945 days. And that's something they didn't think was actually possible before.

Whoa. And they've got a kidney working for 136 days. And it says that they're probably geoengineering some of these pigs to be better to suit human organ transplants. Whoa. Well, here's something that Dr. Gordon, Mark Gordon told me about that. I was telling him about the success that I had with getting stem cell shot on my shoulder, it's kind of creeping me out. Like, my shoulder still makes kind of some clicks. It does some weird clicking stuff. And, you know, I kind of feel it, but I can't say there's any pain.

And I'm practicing archery every day. So I'm shooting arrows with it. So I'm pulling back. This new bow I have is only 70 pounds. But I'm pulling back 70 pounds new bow I have is only 70 pounds, but I'm pulling back 70 pounds a hundred times a day, every day. And it's not hurting. Like the next day it like feels like a little, like something's going on with it, but it doesn't hurt. Whereas it would definitely be hurting before, before the stem cells and like lifting weights doesn't bother it. Like chin-ups don't bother it. Rows don't bother it. All these pushups don't bother it like chin-ups don't bother it rows don't bother it

all these push-ups don't bother it all these different things that bothered it used to bother it and it's only been four weeks what's freaking me out is how quick it is i talked to daniel cormier he's ufc light heavyweight champ same shit with the asker next to champ but um the same shit he had an mcl tear got some uh stem cells shot in there. Bam. No more swelling. Feels great. They don't even know how it works. They have ideas of how it works, but they're not really sure how it's working. These are nonspecific cells and these cells go to the injured area and they somehow or another know what's injured through the immune system or something. The utilization of these stem cells causes injuries to heal way quicker than it ever did before.

And Dr. Gordon was telling me about this guy who got in a car accident. Gets his chest crushed, okay, on the steering wheel. Down to 30% heart capacity. And he's fucked. Can't have sex anymore. Can barely walk. I mean, he's just severely, severely diminished. Gets some stem cells shot into his heart.

Bam. Back to 100%. Wow. Just a few months like What a few months a few months and his fucking hearts working 100% now And this is like apparently this is going on all over the world like they're just going wait What like they're just starting to experiment, but that's really what's happening It's experiments because they don't exactly know why this shit works. They have some theories and they're trying it out.

But a lot of people are real cautious about it. But they're having some pretty incredible results with stem cells. To the point where it makes you wonder, like, what are they going to have in five years from now? Because they didn't even have this ten years ago. Ten years ago, if you told someone you got stem cell shot in an injury They'd be like what are you from the future? Yeah, I wonder if there's also because you're adding something new to the body That's kind of foreign if that passes on through DNA or you know like in the future like clever question

Like you have like a baby that has like an extra Face or something to it or I don't think it works like that. It's just their cells that are natural to your body. They can do it that way or they can do it with placenta. That's how I did it. Mine was from human placenta from chicks who've had cesarean sections.

They take their placenta. Did you get to choose the girl? No, I did not. I don't think they would let you creep. But they also can take it out of your fat you can have some of mine no i don't want your fat my fat the idea is you use your own would you get lipo yeah what if a guy was like a lipo surgeon and contacted the show and said uh i would like to give brian red band some free lipo you, I would totally do it because I I'm lazy. No, I've

noticed that the older I get, the more around the muffin top thing. Has nothing to do with you drinking every night. Nah. It's all Diet Coke. Diet Coke sucker. It's sodium.

Don't fucking bother me Yeah I mean there's something I know I only eat once a day So it's so weird That I even have any issue at all But I really wonder

If I just quit drinking Dude it's alcohol 100% Yeah But it's weird Because I only drink diet sodas And so it's like Jack Daniels

Whatever calories Is in Jack Daniels I'm having But if you only eat one a day You have calories to burn It's Daniels I'm having. But if you want to eat one a day, you have calories to burn. It's not like I'm eating hot dogs. Well, you have a sedentary lifestyle. You like sitting and not doing anything.

Absolutely. Laying. Yeah, laying is even better than sitting. Sitting is rough. It's too hard. You got to stay up. Yeah, I got to stay up. Sit up.

Why do that when you can just lay sideways? You went, when you broke up with one of your girlfriends back in the day, the one where you went on this rampage and lost all that weight like you you were like fucking determined to look good you decided like this is it i'm tired of being fat and waddling around everywhere that was 10 years ago too yeah awesome yeah well so you feel like it's harder now because you're 41 yeah that that changed like maybe five years ago where I'm just like holy shit like the energy was already low to begin with now I wake up tired so that or I have

Sleep nap sleep apnea because I really do wake up just going like okay I just need to stay awake enough to go to Starbucks and then Starbucks doesn't seem like it works The problem with finding out if you have sleep apnea is you got to go through one of those sleep studies And those are annoying. Right. You saw that picture of me where I have all those electrodes stuck to my head. I had it on my blog somewhere. It's probably still up there, but it was, uh, I had these electrodes stuck all over

my head and like, like around my eyes and shit. And then you, uh, you try to sleep in this fucking weird bed in some weird room. I had the hardest time sleeping. But once I did, I was choking. Like, clearly, they could tell, like, when you're, when you, there it is. There's me covered up with. See, I did the home version of that. I just put a drop cam next to my bed. And I had it tell me any time it hears noises or movement.

And then it records it in the clouds then I can just go back and be like oh there's a noise here oh that's me snoring or that's me moving and I noticed that I mean I've been doing it for like a couple months that that it's mostly I'll snore on nights that I heavily drink or something like that but it's always at the beginning of my sleep and then I just it's only for like a half hour so it's so it's not the whole night going like that or anything like that but well heavily when you're drunk and really exhausted but I'm really exhausted I snore horrible right like the worst like

I'm one of these hunting trips that I went on me and Steve Rinella had a haul this pig down the site well I shot this pig and it rolled down the side of a hill and it was really far down the hill and i shot this pig and it rolled down the side of a hill and it was really far down the hill and the hill was ridiculously steep like this i mean like you couldn't walk up it you had to crawl up the hill you could you could crawl up it but you literally couldn't stand up straight i mean it was just that steep and it was a big pig it was like 200 plus pound pig so the pig goes rolling down the side of this hill and we had to figure out how to get it up the hill so we attached it to these cables and we had this truck pull it

but the cables were rubbing on the rocks on the hill and they kept snapping the cable snapped twice and the pig came rolling back down then we had to stop the pig from rolling down so then the guide from the Tohon Ranch said all right this is what we're going to do. We're going to roll the pig downhill. I'm going to roll the pig downhill. And I think if you just roll it downhill, you'll get down to the road at the bottom and I'll just drive around and pick you up the road. So we figured, oh, okay, probably won't be that far. He totally misjudged so um not only that i shot this pig with like five minutes left of light so it was like if it gets dark at six o'clock i shot the pig at 555 so all this stuff we're doing at in dark and this is a place the tahone ranch that has a um they have a trail

camera that picks up movement takes photographs so. So they have this water hole. They got pictures of 16 different mountain lions in this one water hole. And it's just me and Ronella with one gun. I don't think he even had a gun with him. I think it was just me and him. One gun,

16 mountain lions, and a dead pig. And we're rolling it down this hill. But you can only go so far because we got to this point where it was just like so heavily wooded. We had to cut up the pig and then we had to carry it out. So we have to gut this pig. We take out the heart because you eat the heart. And we got rid of the rest of the organs.

And he put one half on his shoulder. I put one half on my shoulder. And then we had to carry this thing the rest of the way. So we're carrying it for miles through the woods, and the woods are like super steep hills. You get to the bottom. You're trying to climb over logs. I mean, it's fucked, and it takes hours. So from 6 p.m. to midnight, this is what we did. We just carried this. We each had 100 pounds on our back, climbing over woods and trying to figure out how to get to the fucking where this truck is. We finally get to where this truck is.

We got back to the cabin and just conked out. And apparently I snored so bad that everybody else in the building didn't sleep. I went out like I got shot with a tranquilizer dart. I even had a mouthpiece in. I had a shitty one at the time so i have a better one now do you have have you ever tried those nose strips does those work or that's not that's not gonna help that i had already had my nose fixed by then it wasn't that it's just my when you uh it's a big issue with uh weightlifters um your neck gets big your hole gets smaller like the air hole actually gets smaller. And I have a big tongue. And so my tongue, I don't mean to brag.

My God. So you've got a tight throat and a nice big fat tongue. I've got a tight throat and a fat tongue. And my fat tongue, if I'm lying on my back especially, falls over the hole, the air hole, and it just, it chokes. And so it's like. Apparently that's what it sounds like. I never listen to my snore.

I've heard you snore before. It's bad. Yeah. I remember you snored when we went to Japan. Did I? Yeah. Oh, did I not have my mouthpiece in when I went to sleep? I don't remember.

I just remember... On the plane? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That'll happen. Yeah. They killed a mountain lion on the 5 freeway the other day. Good. Killed them all.

From the Santa Monica Mountains. C day. Good. Kill them all. From the Santa Monica Mountains. Cunts. People are too happy about those things being around. They're cute, though. They're cool looking. They just shouldn't be around people. Boob, you shouldn't be around where they are.

Shut up. I hate that fucking line of thinking. That is an annoying line of thinking. They're dangerous. Mountain lions will fuck you up. If you've never seen a picture of someone who got bit by a mountain lion, there was some poor lady who was on one of the news shows, and it was so graphic.

She had been attacked by a mountain lion on her bike, pulled her off of her bike. Someone else tried to beat the thing off of her, and it just had a hold of her head and just tore her face apart. I mean, it was just it was awful there was a video on huffpost of uh a woman's beautiful lullaby to her sick pig and i don't know if you saw it or not but it's one of those videos that i'm just it's the most cutest like human looking eyes uh i've ever seen in my life do you well that's the thing about pigs I mean it's coming from someone who just shot one or just told you about a time I shot one

yeah pigs are really smart man they're smart and they kill them like vermin in Texas I mean in Texas they shoot them out of airplanes they're they're constantly fucking shooting them out of airplanes. Yeah. This, I mean, if you... This poor pig is blind, and she rescued this pig, and so it has to stay in this hospital, and I guess... Hold on, Jamie, you have two things playing at the same time. It has to stay in this hospital, and I guess that one of the things is that there's so many loud noises at the hospital that it gets scared.

And so she comes there when she can and sings to it. And it's just one of those videos. You just sit there going, I don't want to eat bacon. Never mind. I may still eat bacon. It's hard. Bacon's good. It is good.

Bacon's good, but it's just weird, man. It looks like an old man. Is that noise in the background her? Yeah, this is at a hospital. Oh, okay. I mean, that looks like a human. This is annoying as fuck. Stop that.

It's almost like a joke. Let's see if you listen to this song. Sound of tractor trailers falling off cliffs in the background. That's an old Irish lullaby she's singing. But it's a nine-month-old old uh 14 pound piglet that's two million views if that was an african baby 50 views right it's true man people are brutal there was a picture of this fucking vulture that someone posted you know it was a meme i don't think uh it wasn't funny so fat jewish didn't use it but it was a meme of a vulture hovering over a black baby in Africa waiting for this kid to die.

And it was about how many people cared about this lion, but how few people care about the amount of people that starve to death every year in Africa. Yeah. Justin Wren is going to be on the podcast again soon. He's fighting for Bellator now. And he's back on the podcast, I he's fighting for bellator now and uh he's back on the podcast i think in a week or so i gotta i gotta go check the calendar but he's he's back soon to uh talk about his uh yeah that's what the 24th a week from today to talk about black widow babies he's fighting um for bellator and one of the reasons why he's doing is to try to raise awareness

for the pygmies he's such an amazing dude he's like he's doing is to try to raise awareness for the pygmies. He's such an amazing, dude He's like he's a real deal like I always look for like people like that I always think like maybe somewhere along the line he'll reveal himself and it turns out that he was really just doing this for his Own profit and he's but he's not I don't think that about him But you think that about someone usually when they have some big like remember coney 2012 one of my favorite times whacking it whacking it whacking the guy was uh well explain why you say whacking it because the guy was in uh he was putting together this ridiculous thing to go after joseph coney and you know letting everybody know what a horrible person Kony was. And then something happened to homeboy.

He wound up losing his mind and was in his underwear running around in traffic in San Diego, beating off in front of people, and that was the end of Kony. You have to be a perfect person. You can't have a great cause and also be a nut, because then people just immediately dismiss your cause. We never heard a peep out of Joseph Kony ever since. It was Kony 2012. Here he is.

He's totally naked. Crank this up so we can hear this guy. What the? The iPhone, Terry? Oh, Jesus. He's running around naked and he's clapping. What do you think he was on? That's...

Oh, my God, f*** that shit. First of all, he's gayer than the day is long. There's no way you can even pretend to be that gay, like faking it. Yeah, I don't know. That seems like alcohol and molly, maybe. I think that's like some serious drugs i think that's like a meth move yeah you know that's like a meth-y sort of behavior running around slapping concrete and angry at everybody that's all meth-y yeah it's meth-y yeah it's it's it seems meth-y is it's

more popular than i ever thought it would was like it seems like i learned more about people doing meth and heroin in the city than I've ever Thought was actually real life. Yeah, meth is super popular meth is real popular and an adderall is real popular too and You talk to doctors and they say there's not that much difference Depends on how much you're taking but meth and we associate meth with addiction And we associate meth with addiction and shitty behavior. Like you're going to take meth.

You're definitely going to go out and get whacked out and do a bunch of stupid shit. That's not necessarily the case. Some people do meth and they're fine. Like they get cranked up and then the next day they feel like shit. But they don't do it every day. Whereas we only think of meth by the people that quote unquote abuse meth. Imagine if meth became something like alcohol. where you could just go buy it. Like if you run into someone, like if you're at a park and you run into some dude and he's hammered,

like, oh great, a fucking drunk. That's annoying. Why is that any different than running into someone who's methed out? Like there's people that can drink, like you, Jamie, you can drink and you're fine. I've seen you a little silly, but you don't get crazy. Like you, Jamie, you can drink and you're fine. I've seen you a little silly, but you don't get crazy. But we all know someone, I mean, every group of people knows at least one person that can't drink.

Nervous. Yeah, they go off, whoever it is, they go off the rails. They get crazy. And if you ran into that person in a park and they're like, man, fuck these bitches, you know, running around drunk. You'd be like, oh, great, a drunk. Maybe that's the same thing with meth. Maybe you do meth and you'd be like all fucking speedy and you'd clean your house up. But you'd be the same guy the next day. You'd be like, ah, I did some good meth last night.

I got a little fucked up. You know what I mean? Like we associate like if you do meth, you're off the rails, out of your fucking mind, done. Like, Jesus, Brian's doing meth. Oh no. But what if alcohol was illegal but meth was legal? And, you know, you know what Brian did last night? He got drunk. No fucking way.

He was drinking alcohol? What an idiot. And you're out there drinking booze, getting fucked up, which is totally normal to us. But it's only normal because it's a society sanctioned drug What if meth is just as good or bad for you or just as just as problematic as alcohol is it's just not sanctioned So we don't think about it that way we only associated with those people fucking claw their face off and lose their teeth and shit Is that what people were referring to a speed and like the 80s? Yeah, it's all amphetamines. Different types and schedule, different classifications of amphetamines.

But, like, that was a big thing in professional pool was guys would play on amphetamines. They'd play for 24, 48 hours. They would play until the other guy dropped. And they would gamble the entire time. And apparently when you're on amphetamines, you can see things better. Like you see like the path of the balls better. You see like where the ball is going to go. Someone described it to me that used to do meth.

And he said, when you play pool on meth, you know, you look at a ball and the ball looks circular. When I would play on meth, he said, I would see flat surfaces. So I'd see like a series of flat surfaces around the ball and i would know exactly what flat surface to hit so the ball collisions like when you play pool if you look at a ball and you're trying to cut a ball in the side pocket you're just kind of estimating where the ball is going to collide with the other ball and that collision point you have to assume there's going to be like a little bit of friction it's going to move the ball off the line a little bit especially if you're cutting a ball so you

got to kind of compensate that and you add a little spin to it to try to compensate for the deflection so there's all these variables that you have to kind of like play on feel he said it wasn't on feel he said when he was on meth he would see like flat surfaces so he knew that this flat surface had a collide with that flat surface, and it would make, like, a direct tangent line that would go into the pocket. And I was like, how come you can't see that when you're sober? He's like, I can't even describe to you what it's like. He's like, but when I'm fucked up on meth,

I would see, like, flat surfaces instead of a curve. There's probably a way to mimic that using some kind of eyewear, you know? Yeah, probably. But maybe not, because I think what he's seeing is a hallucination. What he's seeing is like, yeah, I can fucking do it. It's like you get confidence. And the balls are heads. It's been big in baseball

forever. Yes. Like forever, forever. Makes sense, right? Like you would be able to see the ball coming at you quicker, and you may be able to see the edges of the ball better. Somebody did say that when they were on meth. Like someone was talking about Adderall, not on meth, but Adderall, that they could see the stitches of the ball as it's coming towards them.

What? Yeah, that's funny. Well, all that stuff was invented to make people better. See, that's weird. All these things that, you know, like meth and amphetamines, they're all designed to give you more energy and make you better at certain tasks. But we just associate them with abuse because they're illegal. Be weird.

Look, if Adderall and meth really are that close, no one in this room is smart enough to understand whether or not they are. But if they really are, and no one in this room has done meth, right? Is that true, Brian? I don't think so. But you've done adderall right yeah yeah i wish you did both wait meth you snort you might have i think i feel like i've done it before well you can smoke it you can smoke it you can snort it the idea is to get it directly into your bloodstream right if you're taking the adderall you're taking them as a pill, so it has to go through your body.

People snort those, too. Yeah, oh yeah, they do. Well, that was one of the things that the Bigger, Stronger, Faster guy had said, that when they changed Oxycontins and made them to where you couldn't smoke them or snort them, when you crushed them and turned them into a pill, their profit margin jumped or dropped by like 80%. I think it happened after they were here that it's been approved for 11 year olds.

It did happen over now. Yeah. That's fucking fun. Oxy cottons for eight to 11 year olds. Cool. Cause everybody knows. That's why Sesame street's on HBO now, man.

Shit's changing quick. Let me do some math. Sesame street's going to have swearing in it. Muppets are going to fuck. Finally, Burton and Ernie are taking a bath together yeah Burton and Ernie different reasons

how long have those guys been hiding their true love totally like in those shows like you could have like two dudes that are obviously adults live together

and nobody questions where's the girls they don't these guys aren't into girls like Burton and Ernie never talked about chicks they just hung out together I'm surprised I'm surprised we don't like homeless people more because we all love that

Oscar the Grouch you know and we kind of grew up as a young kid you know loving Oscar the Grouch but then we got older you talking about? By the way, those are red velvet mites, what I was talking about earlier. Those red dots that are around there. Very small. Yeah. You were saying orange. I was getting confused. All right.

We'll wrap this bitch up. We're out of time here. Be back tomorrow with Jeff Nowitzki. Jeff Nowitzki is a guy who busted Lance Armstrong. And he now works for the UFC. He's a UFC drug guy. He's going to clean up the sport. We're going to find out how.

Jeff Ross will be here on Wednesday. Should be fun. Jeff Ross' documentary or his comedy special, Comedy Central special, where he roasts prisoners. It's awesome. It's amazing.

And he really did go right into prison. And he wrote a really interesting thing that I retweeted about it. I think he wrote it for HuffPost about how crazy the prison system is. We'll let him talk about it. I don't want to go into it. Wednesday we'll be

at the Ice House. Brian Redband will be there. Brian Cowan will be there. I'll be there. More people to come. I got a few other people that texted me during the show. Those tickets will be available soon. I'll put them up on Twitter in about 20 minutes. This next Saturday I'm in Austin, but it's

sold the fuck out. So you snooze you lose, freak bitches. Sorry. You got any dates coming up? Next Wednesday I've got the secret show at the Comedy Store Belly Room. It's a good belly room version of the show that we do. It's going to be huge. The belly room's the best.

Yeah. And then Friday, next Friday, August 28th, I'll be at the Ventura Comic Con. I'm doing a show there at the Hong Kong Inn in Ventura, California. Tickets are on sale right now. And DeathSquad.tv for all Brian Red Band's T-shirts and shit. All sent through Stamps.com. Yes. With his own greasy little hands.

If you want to frame him for murder, you can get some DNA off of the packages. He actually licks each and every one of those. Yeah, it's true. It's funny. Sometimes I'll throw a shirt in there and something else goes in the package by mistake. Fuck you, Fat Jew. That's it. Anything else?

Write Amazon and all the people that Fat Jew gets money from and tell them what you think about Fat Jew. Get it together, fella. You don't have to live like this. You could come up with your own stuff. That's it, right? Anything else we got going on? That's basically it. All right. We'll see you guys soon. That's it, right? Anything else we got going on? That's basically it.

All right. We'll see you guys soon. That's it. Good night. Bye-bye. Big kiss. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. Thank you.