The Joe Rogan Experience - #701 - Honey Honey (Part 1)

Episode Date: September 28, 2015

Honey Honey is a band, featuring members Suzanne Santo and Ben Jaffe, from Los Angeles, CA. They released a new album this summer called "3" and are currently touring all over -- http://honeyhoneyband.com/events

OTPHJ Over the pants hand jump Over the pants hand jump Did you just make that up? I've been just waiting for the right fucking time Oh my god That's hilarious Alright ladies and gentlemen

Now it's official It's happening Yeah I said it It sounds professional Someone said I have Who said I have a radio voice? Oh Donald Cowboy was like

You got a radio voice Now it's your radio voice Donald Cowboy Donald. Cowboy was like, you got a radio voice. Now it's your radio voice. Donald Cowboy Cerrone. He's a guy who fights in the UFC. Awesome. And he was here for the podcast the other day, and he accused me of having a radio voice. Now I think about it.

Fuck, do I? You have a delicate voice. Why is that a bad thing? Yeah, it is. I think that's a compliment. Well, I recognize that the instrument has a bunch of different sounds that it can make. Which is one of the reasons why I appreciate music. I appreciate music.

I mean, I've told you guys this before. Like, one of the things I love about what you guys do is I have zero talent. Like, I love something that I have, like, where I don't know anything about it. It's fascinating. Like, I love music. I'm a huge fan. I know nothing about it. When you guys start talking about bars and notes and I'm like, blah, blah, blah.

I have a question. I have no idea what you're saying. We don't either. Do you? Honestly. Are you? Because you use your voice a lot when you're on stage and you use it in different registers and you podcast.

Have you ever had problems with it? No. That's amazing. I do a lot of screaming too. That's what's crazy. Well, I know you do. I know. You hear a lot of comedians.

Weirdly set up for it, I think. You could do it without fucking your thing up. Well, the UFC you do. I know. You hear a lot of comedians that... Weirdly set up for it, I think. You could do it without fucking your thing up. Well, the UFC is the weirdest one. I fucking scream sometimes. Like, when I fight... And I don't even know I'm doing it until I'm doing it. Like, sometimes I'm standing up. I don't even know I'm up.

Like, I'm standing up while I'm doing... Like, there was an Orlovsky and Travis Brown fight. This crazy fight between these two giant guys who are beating the fuck out of each other. They kept getting dropped, like, over and over. Like, Orlovsky dropped him, I think, three times, and he kept getting up, and then he dropped Orlovsky, and then Orlovsky came back and knocked him out.

And by the end of the fight, I was standing up, screaming. Take your shirt off. I had to realize, I didn't have my pants first. I didn't know I was up until I was like, why am I fucking standing up? I don't even know. I've only done that a couple times ever. I just, all of a sudden, I didn't have my pants first. I didn't know I was up until I was like, I'm just fucking standing up. I don't even know, I've only done that a couple times ever. Just all of a sudden I'm standing up. Well, the fact that you can scream

and you don't lose your voice, I think is remarkable. Because it's like, back when I was bartending, I would lose my voice all the time just from trying to raise your volume. But when I quit bartending, my voice went up like an octave. But I had to go to speech therapy, so I learned all these things about how to use my voice. When you say up an octave,

is that like there's an actual note? For singing, not for my... I wasn't like speaking in an octave. I'd be like, hello! Well, those old ladies that you hear about like the old bar lady. Who was that girl? Sue Bob. Sue Bob from the Whites of West Virginia. Another Budweiser boy.

I've always been the sexy one in the family. You ever seen it? You ever seen it? Oh, God. Oh, my God. No, you've never seen it? Never once. The Wonderful Whites of West Virginia.

Oh, my God. Everyone talks about that. Oh, my God. Who talked about it? Did you tell us about this before? When you were in Nashville, that was like required viewing. Once you've seen it, you can't shut the fuck up about it. Yeah.

Because you're like yo I think it was wasn't Johnny Knoxville was it his amazing amazing it's just a really well done documentary

not just freaky people but it's all that bar that bar voice they got that bar voice it's intense cigarettes and yelling yeah cigarettes booze and yelling

and there's a there's a sexiness to it though there's like there's definitely like, wow, that person has fun. And I've definitely, I like having a raspy voice, but also know that it's just damage. So I'm not super pumped about it at the same time. I think people are really attracted to voices like that.

In general, though, you listen to Otis Redding. He's got a battered fucking voice. Janis Joplin. How about B bukowski that was half of his half of his thing born into this yeah and you trust this thing like oh yeah yeah but i also think it was his like a good way of saying it's like some people have that incredible ability to like channel their person through this incredible voice like bukowski or somebody like that and like you know so they're easier to listen to well Bukowski's poems were always just raw and interesting but there were nothing like when he read them especially when you saw there's like for him he's one of

the rare poets that I think that a visual aspect like enhances it significantly like I love one of my, there's a bunch of videos of him at like these readings. And he would sit in front of these audiences and he would drink wine. And he would get fucked up. And if people would talk, he would yell at them, I'll come over there right now and I'll beat the fucking shit out of you. And he was this old drunk man. And he really would have gone into the audience and fought people and then he would read this like really

intense stuff that he wrote about life and mortality and his you know vision of humanity to get people to care about poetry so I think that's how you do it you gotta kind of yell at them. You're taking such a crazy chance to even say you wrote a poem. You tell someone, hey, I wrote a poem. Nobody goes, yeah, fucking awesome.

Bring it, dude. Bring that poem. Let's hear those feelings. You know, most of the time when someone says, I wrote a poem, I'd like you to read it,

like, no! No! Like, if someone says they have a song, I'm like, oh, I love songs. Someone says, dude, I got the best joke. Oh, I can't wait to read it. Like, no! No! Like, if someone says they have a song, I'm like, oh, I love songs. If someone says, dude, I got the best joke, oh, I can't wait to hear it. I got the best poem. Don't get the fuck out of here. The best poem is a chore.

The best. Oh, man. Right? The best poet is a bore, and the best poem is a chore. The best. The very best. The little poetry right there, Joe. Oh, my God.

Did you just write a poem that's my work don't lay that on us but when people when there is a visual element it's amazing you know spalding gray yes at all yes that's incredible yeah didn't he commit suicide i don't remember i don't know but he did that swimming in Cambodia stuff, and it's him telling these stories, and it's really poetic But it's storytelling element You know all of a sudden we want to listen to I want to listen to how about Eric Bogosian? I don't know how that dude is yeah, he I think I think yeah, this is Pauline Gray did do that He was having some health issues, and he wound up killing himself but Eric

Pagosi was a guy who actually he was doing like more he's like one man shows well but goes he was in a bunch of movies for a while but he he actually did some acting too but he did like these one-man show things I want to see he was a reading I want to say they were like really well done readings too that he did but Spalding Graham's guy was like really well done readings too that he did but spaulding gravis guy was like more known for it right because he sat down at the table yeah he had this desk and he even had like a real theatrical vibe lights would be going on yeah it's sad when you hear about a guy like that killing himself because you're like fuck dude you know all those

people liked you was he was he very famous when? Well, he was famous enough that we're talking about him. In that community. Yeah, in that community, I'm sure. He was reasonably well-known, for sure. And at the time, he had been on TV quite a bit, which is where Ben and I probably saw him first, right? I saw him on the YouTube. Because he had that series.

Who's the filmmaker? He did a lot of concert films, and I can't remember his name right now but in the 60s he was he was that like he was taking Hendrix footage and he was taking a lot of festival footage in the 60s which nobody was really doing at that time or at least nowhere near the rounder stuff no that was way your low max that's not low man no he was more than great I think his heyday was like the 80s. Late 70s, 80s. So it was like swimming to Cambodia was 87.

But who's the guy who did that? Who did the film? Cambodia? Who directed it. Let me see here. Hold on, please. Because he did this, I think the Toronto Peace Festival, this fucking amazing. Jonathan Demme?

Demme, yeah. Nice work. There you go. You're faster than me, you bastard. Did you look it up? I have it too. I was trying. Yeah. peace festival this fucking amazing Jonathan Demi Demi yeah yeah so yeah that was a he was apparently it was about his participation in the movie the killing fields I didn't know that he had anything to do with that yeah when all these beautiful stories I mean it's not much about the productions about his experiences he just kind of like took shit right pretty he was an extreme or kind of like a radical liver right and just a great storyteller which is super rare I think

I mean it seems like mainly that right that's kind of the comedians realm now like people don't give a shit about storytellers but people if you're comedian you could tell us a story well, I think in a way The problem is like trying to sell this just like we're talking about like selling poetry Selling a guy who's like doing a one-man show or one-man story It's hard, but essentially like a lot of people's podcasts are like that or stand-up I mean stand-up can be in a lot of ways Yeah, but I think the idea about stand-up is though though, you're going to try to be as self-indulgent, like only, you try to be as little self-indulgent as possible.

That's the wrong way of phrasing that. The least amount of self-indulgent humanly possible and the most amount of entertainment for the people that are listening. So the most amount of self-deprecation, the most amount of laughs that you can get out of it, the most amount of humility and approach to the laugh so you don't make people uncomfortable. There's all these variables in achieving the laugh.

And achieving the laugh is like the proof that you're on the same level and they appreciate your sincerity and then you're funny and you're hilarious. It's all working out. So it's all like this dance that you're doing to achieve a result, whereas you don't have to have a real result with one of these fucking things. So you can go deep. But it has to be gripping. You know what I mean?

You would think. But the amount that aren't, to get it to that polished diamond state requires a lot of discipline. Sure. But you say the same about stand-up, right? But stand-up, you eat dick on stage. It just balances it out. You can't eat. It's just too hard.

The bombing is too hard on the soul. Yeah. You'll come around writing the best shit you can. That's a different. I really think there's a level of bravery in stand-up that is not really involved in music. People just don't judge you the same way. Well, it's a weird thing to quantify because I think there's a level of bravery and being a soldier that's a

lot tougher than a lower deeper and deeper though you know I mean there's a level of bravery when yeah Rogers save the earth I mean there's always gonna be everybody makes their effort in a different way you know definitely if i had the the physical structure to be a soldier and the brain power emotional power do you think you go over and kick some ass for america i think i don't i think i could but i don't know if it would be for america as much as we want to like save myself not to sound so for cincinnati i'm not into i would do it for cleveland parts of ohio i would kick ass for national guard i don't know about all of america i'm just kidding cincinnati and cleveland um do they have a rivalry at all like if you said absolutely for cleveland does

people in cincinnati are they gonna hate on you now next time you're there cincinnati is fine browns versus bangles browns versus Steelers, Browns versus Ravens. That's the trifecta of difficult times in that region of the country. But I'll be honest with you. I love playing in Pittsburgh. I love playing in Cincinnati. And every time I'll have fun, harmless banter about our sports teams. I can't really say the same about Baltimore.

Baltimore is a great town, but we only really went through there once, and we literally stopped to eat dinner and found crack on the ground. This is bad PR, please. We've got to build Baltimore back up. I know, but we want to come play there. Help us. You're going to have to take some time. Don't be a hero, okay?

We were talking about the amount of bravery it takes to be a comedian. It takes more bravery to play Baltimore. I had this guy, Michael Wood, who was a cop from Baltimore. I had him on the podcast. Oh, wow. He was a retired cop and a young guy, too. He had just a massive shoulder injury. His shoulder blew apart.

They put it back together and it blew apart again. He had to retire. His shoulder blew apart. They put it back together, and it blew apart again. He had to retire. But very intelligent, articulate dude, and very compassionate. And outside of the police department now, you know, still a young guy. What was he, like 35 or something like that?

Maybe younger. When you say blew apart, did he get shot? No. I forget what the injury was, but he had to get shoulder reconstructive surgery. That's intense. And it still didn't take. And it was like his shoulder's fucked. Like, he apparently was in a high-speed chase, and his shoulder just blew out while he was turning the steering wheel. It's pretty fucked up.

But the point is, like, he was talking about how crazy Baltimore has always been. They found some directives, I guess it was, from the police department from the 1970s. And he's like, me and these other cops are reading this. We're like, Jesus fucking Christ, we're running, we're chasing our tails. Like this is exactly the same places where the exact same crimes are going on. No, there's a specific reason for that. And that's because there was like literal, like constitutional, like city ordinances of segregation and consolidating these neighborhoods and having them be specifically black

and you couldn't buy a house in a certain neighborhood if you were black, even if you had the money. You know, it's the whole, the whole tier is like they were just built to fail. Yeah. And the reason that crime was flourishing and thriving so much is because they didn't have a fucking chance.

I mean, it's like the, I listened to a NPR podcast a little while ago that explained how when it was at the 60s boom it was post-war post-war war to post-world war they're making all these housing ordinances for the vets and things like that and they're like hey guys welcome back you can't live here yeah it's pretty brutal it's awful it is pretty awful it's I didn't even know about that until a few years ago. Yeah, and it seemed like... Do you remember who brought that up?

Someone brought that up on the podcast, and we were like, what? And we had a look into it. Do you remember who it was, Jimmy? It's the same with education, too. I mean, it would be like all of these schools that just wouldn't let intelligent African-Americans in, and you wouldn't get the education that you wanted or deserved or, you know, could achieve. And it was just like, you know, you're kind of stuck in this box, which is those neighborhoods. You know, they were they were made for that. It's so it's so fucked up. Well, it's there's so many levels to the whole thing.

Like, first of all, the level of overcoming slavery. Like you ever heard a white guy say, God, it was so long ago, fucking get over it. I've heard white guys say that, and you go, okay. It's not that long. It's less than 100 years before what she was just talking about. Yeah, it seems like it was long. I have a 1965 Corvette. When that Corvette, when it was made a hundred years before that almost exactly

Slavery was abolished. That's fucking crazy That's insane That might be one of the most bizarre things a hundred years is not Mike my wife's mom died recently And she was 97 like she was a hundred years. So, from the time that she died to like, realistically, she could have been alive while fucking slavery was happening. Yeah. Oh my god. I mean, it's realistic. That's not good.

Like, that amount of age. You could have someone from 1965 and if they were that age, they could remember fucking slavery. Yeah. What? That's terrible. Oh, God.

God damn it. That's like when I was born. I was born in 67. So I was born two years after that. Like that is, to me, when I put it in those terms, like the generational terms, it was yesterday. People had slaves yesterday. And they still do some places now. I mean, this is just our country.

You're right. This is going on all the time. We were just talking about nail salons. Something that we found out that's really disturbing is that, you know, there's like a dime a dozen nail salons in New York City or places like, you know, L.A. Where it's really cheap to get your toes and your fucking ears painted. Which feels really good, by the way. There's this like, wow, you're so, you're so put together. By the way, you are missing a button and I can see your belly button. Whoa.

You just didn't breathe. Anyone have a problem with that in here? I don't have a problem with that. No, but they were, these nail salons, they bring in men and women from, you know, Thailand, Vietnam, and they're like indentured servants they make them work, and they don't pay them, and they live in these, like, apartments with, like, 15 people sleeping in one room. Like, it's all this shit.

Guys, how are we going to fix this shit? Yeah, how do they fix that? It's a really good question. I think in this, like, what you can control, for sure, first, is in this country. You know, I mean, things uh what we talked about before the show about my friend justin wren and all these little artifacts he brought back back from the congo like that guy's like changing things in like real time but like in this country i think there's

a bunch of things that could be done that are just not done sure and one of the major ones is they have to treat really poor neighborhoods not like a static reality that just is what it is. It's a really poor neighborhood. They have to put it like it's a problem, like a wildfire. Like here you've got a wildfire. What are you going to do? Are you just going to let it burn and just get out of the way? Or are you going to put it out?

You have a problem. Your electricity is down. You have a whatever, a water main broke. You have a, there's a problem. But those have such direct solutions. You know, that's what's so difficult about it. It's like put water on the fire, it's going to go out. This is like, God, the implications of all that stuff is so crazy.

I think they should admit, first and foremost, that a horrible crime has been done. In places like Baltimore, when they, know what this michael wood described it as institutionalized racism and we talk about the zones where people lived it's hard to argue against that so and then you have to feel then you have to think about like what is the best way to uh help people out of this what's the best way to engineer like a a more crime-free, safer, more educated and aware, and how these people feel like they belong a part of the rest of the city. How to do that without engendering.

It's collective efforts. I mean, it's something like, I'm really glad we're talking about this because I think this kind of thing keeps me up at night when I think about like, fuck, what can I do? What can we do? You should write a poem about it. Listen, motherfucker, I'll write a poem right now.

That could be the start. But things like Joe, like your podcast are... Your fucking podcast. I'm serious though. This kind of thing is part of that collective effort is as giving people that first grain of thought of like, oh, wow. I never knew that there were zoning laws in Baltimore and inner cities that made it really hard for black people to get ahead in life, that they had no scholarships. You know, the changes that need to be that need to take place like we don't have some kind of solution, you know, the changes that need to be, that need to take place,

like we don't have some kind of solution, you know, like this think tank, but you have this platform where you can start talking about it and informing people. And, you know, when I get really worked up and think about like, what can we do? You know, we have this band that is growing and getting attention. And, you know, you have band that is growing and and getting attention and you know you have these opportunities to sit here and talk to somebody like you and people are listening and you know you hope that that starts more another train of thought that can actually make some kind of difference i don't know what it is i think people are already having these conversations and one of the things that they love about podcasts like this is because you know you go yes other people are thinking like this too like people

are people are wondering how did we get to be grown adults with this chaotic system in place that was established by people who you know when you go back to the origins of civilization even just in this country which is like a really recent country those people were monsters. Those people that came here on boats, they were monsters. Oh, man. The fucking, you ever read what Columbus had done? Oh, he's a dick. Oh, my God.

They were monsters. What they did to those people. But the world was so, like, and this isn't, yeah, that's fucked up. Horrific. I just read this book about the first the first like the first interactions between the West or England mainly or in Europe and Japan you know in the journeys that these people would have to go through to trade to make contact with these countries and I mean it's the way they looked at the world then was the way we

look at the universe now it's just like I don't know what's over there I have no idea what's going on there's things jutting there's icebergs jutting out of the water and monsters that eat people like and cannibals and shit. Like that was real. So it's like this super, I think, climate of defensiveness that we all, just as a person, you grow up kind of trying to defend yourself against the environment.

At an extremely high level. And then back then. It always takes, oh sorry, go ahead. There's just a layer of danger that at least where we are you know accustomed to so you're going around the world being like holy fuck like where am i i don't want to get killed 50 of my men just died like you know it's i don't know i don't know what i'm trying to say other than the context is so different you know it's it's a totally different world that's why it's insane to's insane to have our civilization run the way it's

run now just because it's been done this way for 100 plus, 200 plus whatever years. Like if we wanted to start out today, how many people do you think would accept an electoral college? How many people would accept the idea that you actually just elect a representative and that representative can actually like, he can choose

to vote against the wishes of the rest of the state. Like, you can, you have, like, electoral college, and then you have, when each state has a certain amount of points that go in, and you watch the, when you watch the vote, like, they're like, how many votes is what? And what's going on? The numbers are in, and what the fuck are you talking about? And then you find out that, like, especially during, like, the George Bush days, that they were still doing it with?

a piece of paper That was when wasn't that like the 90s when The election was recalled because it was there was they had a recount well to this day people still believe Al Gore won Yeah, there's a lot of people that believe he won and that they fucked him out of Florida And there's also like Republicans that did some weird shit where they like they crossed people's names out and banned them if they thought they were black. And then they would have to prove that they weren't the person that was off the list of like felons or, you know, like sometimes people, Jimmy White.

There's a lot of fucking Jimmy Whites, man. You know, if you're if you're Jimmy White and you live in Baltimore and there's a thousand of the Jimmy Whites and 20 of them have been to jail, like, good luck getting registered to vote. They're going to put you on a fucking list and then you have to go to court to, like, make sure that you can vote.

It takes too much time. They're not going to do it. No one's going to do it. They don't have the time for that. And they know that, and so they they rigged it which is just dark Here's the thing. It's like an American. The system is flawed. I mean, there's just no fucking two ways around it I just don't think it needs to be here anymore I think it's like one of those things like you need to write books on paper with ink

You need a quill and you just sit by a candlelight No,ill. And you just sit by a candlelight. Oh, it's super antiquated. No, you don't need to sit by a candlelight. You don't need to write with a feather. You can talk and your computer will dictate it. We're in a new world. And this world of it's hard to get information across the states. So you need a representative.

You want to make sure that every area, even the high population areas, they don't dominate the rural farmlands. So we need to have some sort of a system where people give a fuck about Iowa. That's really what it is. But that's only in place because it was all established when people were apes. They were raft riding apes with no cars. They didn't have phones. They didn't know where the fuck you went. When you went out of sight, if you went into the woods, they thought you were a dream.

People didn't even know if they ever really did know you. They didn't know. If they fucking really knew for sure that you were coming back, they'd make a painting of you. Damn. Think about that. They had fucking paintings. That was it. That was it.

Yeah. Remember the guy from the wall in the cave? Painting shit. Yeah. They had fucking paintings. That was it. That was it. Yeah. Paintings and writing shit. Remember the guy from the wall in the cave? Yeah. It's crazy. The wall in the cave was like an eight track. Uh-huh. We were just in Old Town San Diego yesterday after we played in San Diego yesterday afternoon.

Love San Diego. God, I love it down there. Old Town's pretty, you know, it's pretty charming. But they had like, you know what? I was so hungry and I was like walking by and passing, but they had like costumed like San Diego, like settlers, you know, but they like looked like pirates. And they were walking through the streets and people were freaking out. They were like, well, there were like two big buses of tourists going crazy. Like, I was like, God damn it. Everybody calm down.

Jesus. It's just a guy with a cape on. Fucking slow your roll. Yeah, chill. But it was funny. Well, just kind of piggybacking on what we're talking about, because I'm thoroughly obsessed with like frontier shows like Deadwood and I'm watching Hell on Wheels right now I just got into this show Hell on Wheels what is that

it's on AMC and it's it's really it's really well written I'm only in like season two so I don't know what happens after this guys like I don't know if this is like a poor statement but it's still going so that says something what is it about it But it's still going, so that says something about it. What is it about? It's about this railroad that's being built. It's incredible to be privy to that day and age where it's so wild. It's so lawless. Everybody is just barely staying alive. Indians are coming in, killing you and slaughtering you. You're taking over their shit.

And it's really, for some reason, it like just cuts right to my soul. Like I can't not be just totally enamored and, you know, enthralled by it. And it's interesting to think about because that also wasn't that long ago. No. The frontier days when the country focused solely on this one thing together, you know, building this country. Well,

maybe not together because there's so many immigrants and so many people that were like isolated. And, but the point is that like, it's interesting to witness everyone fighting their battle, you know, but there's these great parts of the show when they all have to come together for a common purpose.

Like there's robbers robbing the train that gets them their pay and if they don't get their pay they're broke you know so there's like this interesting camaraderie and then their enemies and then you know and that's kind of how it is in real life you know which is which is interesting to think about because we're all so different and you know when you have these efforts and it's I don't want to say common enemy because that sounds really negative but like when you're all so different and you know when you have these efforts and it's I don't want to say common enemy because that sounds really negative but like when you're all working towards something with your differences that's when actual progress starts being made right that's that's always a good scene in the movie right yeah it's a good scene in the movie. You shake hands with the neighbors to fight the monsters.

Yeah yeah. You and Mel Gibson getting along all of a sudden. It's the two. Exactly. We're watching Terminator, fucking Terminator 2. Isn't that really why we get so angry and offended when people whine and bitch today? Because you're like, good fucking lord. You live in the best time ever. You know, society's going shit, man. No, it's good to be humble.

The world is fucking falling apart, okay? No one has any values anymore. I mean, no one values culture or art. Will you please stop saying that? Everyone. We're just dealing with overwhelming numbers of people yelling in a room. That's what it is. It's not that there's not as much or way more interesting shit in that noise.

It's just there's so many fucking people communicating now. It's crazy. The whole rule, the whole game is a different thing. Everyone talks now. Yeah. Everyone. Well, you know what's super cool is getting people outside of their comfort zone and watching how they deal with it in a way that like my folks live in Ohio, pretty Republican,

you know, but they're really good people and they're fucking hilarious. And they came out to five shows in Colorado on this last tour that we had. Uh oh, contact time. Oh my God, it was so, Joe, it was so funny. We came so close to smoking weed. Yeah, my dad, so my dad just retired.

There was like a slow, a ginger backing out of him. It was so close. My dad's got a super thick Cleveland accent. He's like, if I'm going to smoke pot with my daughter and it's legal, I'm going to do it. And I was just like, damn. But you didn't do it, Ray. And I was like, well, it ain't no 70s dirt weed. I mean, I was like, Ray.

Ray, you've got to take it slow, son. I don't know what you're getting into. You've got to make sure a guy like that doesn't drown. But I want to tell you this fucking cool thing, which was that, like, you know, I love my parents so much. And they're really incredible people. And I've watched them grow in this way that, like, they're always changing. And even though they have, like, their beliefs, and my dad has worked his fucking ass off his entire life, you know, and he's a middle-class business owner, just retired. So he's got this, you know, this view on life. HE'S A BUSINESS OWNER. HE'S A BUSINESS OWNER. HE'S BEEN A BUSINESS OWNER FOR HIS ENTIRE LIFE.

HE'S A MIDDLE CLASS BUSINESS OWNER, JUST RETIRED. SO HE'S GOT THIS VIEW ON LIFE. AND THEN WE PUT HIM IN COLORADO AND THEY CARAVAN FOR FIVE SHOWS AND WE HAD LUNCH WITH THIS INCREDIBLE PEOPLE, THIS JUDGE, THIS LAWYER, AND THESE KIND OF LIBERAL, HIPPIE, you know, kind of liberal hippie, you know, politicians in Colorado. And we

were sitting at a table with my parents and I was just it was so cool to watch them interact with people that they would never hang out with and then watch them sort of like lay back and have like just like absorb this information. That's not something that they wouldn't that they would have on a regular basis. And so they left, and it was such an interesting, like, I really felt our relationship change a little bit after that. And just watching them let loose. My dad really wanted to smoke weed, but it just never worked out. I don't think he actually wanted to.

No, he did, but he had to drive, and that was responsible because he would have been fucked up. Do you think, like, as you've gotten more successful and as you've gotten older, your dad can look at you not just as his daughter, but also as an adult human being where he respects your opinion. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, we're very.

I'm speaking. Sorry. We have like. No, we have a really incredible relationship. Wait, what did you say? I said meal ticket. I was joking. Oh, you're such a dick.

You said it's so subtle. We're not there yet, though. Well, yeah, we will. Meal ticket. A lot of this stuff. No, well, yeah, we will. A meal ticket. No, I would love to take care of them one day. There's nothing wrong with that. No, that's beautiful. But, I mean, you're a woman now, and you're, like, a professional singer of, like, the utmost respect.

Like, people love your shit. So it's like he goes to see you, and he sees her. He sees his daughter on stage wailing out these songs and people going nuts. You don't think that must make him think like, I got to appreciate what it took to do that. I have to appreciate what's happening here. This isn't just my daughter. She doesn't just have to listen to me.

I'm not right about everything. I can't be right about everything because I can't do that. No. He's, both my mom and my dad are really, they, their support, like, is beyond anything I ever could have wanted. I mean, they, they, I moved to New York City when I was 16 because I used to be a I was a catalog model and I was doing really well and my parents were like I was starting my junior year of high school and they were I was really fucking driven like I had no inhibitions and I was like I want to go here and I want to go here and do you guys think I can do that and they're like yeah and they and they

let me move there when I was 16 and it it was fucking crazy. And it honestly was one of those, I think, kind of pivotal moments where it was their belief in the fact that I could do what I wanted because they were like, I think you have something special, you know, which is like a really incredible feeling to

have. And they were always behind me. And like, yeah, we fight. I mean, my family's really close, so we fight hard. There's a lot of yelling. I grew up with a lot of yelling. She got your dad high. That's why I'm here. I know, I know.

I'm hearing a lot of fucking memory lane. I should have got my dad high. Yeah, oh, my God. There's always a future. Yeah, this is going to happen at some point. It's going to happen, too. And we'll talk all about it. Yeah, you just got to baby fuck them.

What did she just say? Excuse me? Slow baby steps. Can we find another metaphor? It's baby steps. Right. Baby steps. There was another word in there.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying, though. It got across. Like, even though it sounds like an inappropriate statement. Uh-huh. But you know what I'm saying. Nah, we just did two. Slow and short.

Slow and short. Slow and short. Kind of innocent. It's a little puff. It's going to happen. I know that Ray had a thing with Quaaludes in the 70s. Well, that's a problem too, right?

You start thinking, I don't want to be that loser again. Take you down the tunnel. Well, you also realize, hey, this doesn't go with success. This doesn't help me get my shit together and not be psychologically terrified most of the day. Yeah. Looking around for my next fix of quaaludes. It's nice to know that they were human, though. Like, my mom used to smoke weed.

My dad used to smoke weed. My dad used to smoke weed. Ben, we're going to do this. Ben, can we get your dad high? I think that's a bad idea. Or it might be amazing. I don't know. My dad's 94. Oh, it'd be perfect. What are you holding back? Cancer? What are you worried about? He's had that.

He's had that a few times. 94 is the home stretch. Man, maybe you're right. 94 is the home stretch he might freak the fuck out no but he might not he might like ease slowly into the great beyond too a eight-year-old man to go from pot to mushrooms they say that mushrooms is a significant reliever of the stress of worrying about the expectation i'm so glad you just said that. I've never even thought about it with him. But he has anxiety. He's freaked out.

He's staring at the void, dude, for real. He's seeing his body deteriorate. All these things happen, and I get the anxiety from him. It's a real issue with people, man. When we were kids and we would see what we would call in quotes the angry old man. Get out of my yard you fucking kids and we always like god it's got such a downer everybody has them every neighborhood has a guy poison the cats he was an evil motherfucker yeah he put uh rat poison and killed a bunch of cats

forgot his name he's long gone though of course Of course. Of course. Yeah. Every neighborhood has, like, old people that are angry. And one of the things they're angry at is, like, the vitality of their vessel is eroding before their eyes. Yeah. And you just get caught up in this shit. And that's when you meet old people that hate young people. You know, there was Elizabeth Bathory, I think it was. Is that what her name? I don't know.

One of the most evil women of all time. She was a royal. Let me pull up the story. This is in New Orleans? There was a crazy chick in New Orleans. That was a long time ago. No, it was in, I want to say Hungary. Isabeth.

But she's like one of the most famous serial killers of all time. Oh, shit. And what she started doing after she started getting older she started killing all these young women that were in the town and she would uh she would like bathe in their blood oh my god she would torture them it was in the 1500s in hungary 15 what was What was her name? Elizabeth Bathory. Oh, I know exactly who you're talking about. She apparently was attractive when she was younger,

and as she got older, her appearance faded. Sleeping Beauty, or Snow White, kind of. Yeah, in a way. I mean, it's a scary fucking story, because she was a royal. She was a very wealthy royal person, so she could do what she wanted. She could get away with it. Her punishment was just stay in your castle. Yeah, she killed a royal. She was a very wealthy royal person. She could do what she wanted. She could get away with it.

Her punishment was just stay in your castle. Yeah. She killed a lot of people. Yeah. It might have been like hundreds of women or something. Yeah. Ridiculous. Oh, yeah.

It was hundreds. Yeah. And they just made her stay in her castle. That was it. That was the punishment. I think she had like a special room that she had to stay in, in her castle. It was a hot tub. So it's kind of jail, I guess.

But, I mean, she still had her money. She still had her servants. Well, isn't that interesting? That's kind of how it is now, just in a very different way. People that are on top can get away with so much. Like this fucking, have you seen the Robert Durst stuff on HBO? Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I know about it. He's gotten pretty far,

one would say, and now he's kind of fucked himself, and it's looking like, hopefully, fingers crossed, you know, he'll... Yeah, he's gonna go to jail, right? He's in jail. Well, he's gonna... He should be dead. He will be. There's not any time for you, dude. He will be soon. So, apparently, I was incorrect. She, at

the end of her life, they put her in solitary confinement. So she was in a castle, but she was placed in solitary. She was kept bricked into a set of rooms with only small slits left open for ventilation and the passing of food. Oh, Jesus. She remained there for four years until her death. So she was psychotic anyway, and then they put her in a black room. She was a rich monster. That's what she was. She was and then they trapped she was a put her in like a black room she was a rich monster that's what she was she was a privileged rich monster and at the end she was

such a monster when they found what she had done that they found the bones of these hundreds of women and they knew that she had been doing it forever and the servants knew and she'd bring girls in they would be screaming and she would cut them up in front of everybody and tie them up and and like fill tubs with their blood and throw their bodies aside. But she did it for a long fucking time. There was a woman in New Orleans, too. A famous woman in New Orleans has a house you can go to. She was just a member of the aristocracy.

Wait, was that on American Horror Story? I don't know, but it's just like a famous story. God, it's so scary. We're going to be in New Orleans soon. You want to go? No. Me either. No, I don't. Not interested in that. It it's so scary. We're going to be in New Orleans soon. You want to go? No. Me either. No, I don't.

Not interested in that. It's just so scary. It's so scary where people can get to if they have a position of ultimate power, if they have a slave, if they have a royalty. You've seen what's going on in Los Angeles with all these guys from the Middle East that keep doing

crazy things and they're getting arrested and they're claiming diplomatic immunity. Like, that's Lethal Weapon. Bringing it back to Lethal Weapon. Sorry, but that was like a big part of that movie. Was that? Yeah, diplomatic immunity. African guy?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. I didn't even know. Suits sayers. Where did you get that from? Benji. I love that movie. I love that movie.

There's been a bunch of them lately. One guy was, the two guys fled the country because they were racing through Beverly Hills. And they tried to claim diplomatic immunity and they just... From Qatari. Q-A-T-R-I, whatever the fuck that is.

One of those. Strange. Probably not even, you know, they don't even use the English language. So their letters are different than our letters So when we write something like really awful like QT a RI or something like that doesn't do that's our fuck-up Why does it have to be such a weird fucking so we got wrong say it like what does it sound like bitch Write it like that. Why is it so hard?

Tell me what it sounds like. I'll write it in my own language. We need some new letters. We're fine. Just gotta stop talking to people that use phlegm. Oh, man. You're talking to a Jew, brother. Do something, Ben.

I don't know. He's not listening to me. I lost him. I lost him. Kind of some sort of rant. That was back when people worked on farms a lot. You know you actually just said a lot of things, right? They had a lot of milk. Said some really beautiful things right there.

They ate a lot of cheese. It was a big part of their diet. There was a lot of phlegm in the air back then. Sure, sure. People were super phlegmy. It goes back to what we were talking about before. Human voice. I can do some crazy shit. It goes back to what we were talking about before. Human voice. That can do some crazy shit.

You can do some crazy shit with this. Have you seen, there's a video of a girl who can sing two pitches at the same time. Yeah, it's fucked up. What? Yeah, and she can move them in opposite directions. She can hold one, move another one. Like, she's just using her body. I'll look it up.

How is she? Well, Jamie will do it. He'll pull it up. Put your headset on. There's a word for it. He'll find it. Don't, wait. Oh, well, there's Tuvan throat singing in Mongolia where they're activating all these overtones. Jamie will do it. He'll pull it up. Put your headset on. There's a word for it. He'll find it. Wait, there's a- Well, there's tuv and throat singing in Mongolia

where they're activating all these overtones. It's crazy. People are literally singing chords. We can do crazy shit. No, but the woman you're talking about, there's a specific word for it. Is it like tonal or something? Polyphonic overtones?

Thank you. Wait, Samsonite. Wake up. Singing, but more than one. Wow. I'm trying, guys more than one. Wow. I'm trying, guys. Doing my best here. So do you think that this is something that she was born with this ability?

Well, we can all do it. We could do it. We all have the equipment. It's like perfect pitch. You know about what perfect pitch is? No. So perfect pitch is the ability to just recognize frequencies as per the musical alphabet. So if I went like this.

B flat. You would know, oh, that's a G, because I know the sound of that frequency. And we're all born with this. But for the most part, it's not really useful, so we just kind of phase it out. Right. But some people develop it,

or for some weird kind of developmental reason, they hold on to it. And if you're a musician, can be super helpful. But this chick, she's just doing what we can all do, but she's just developed it. Let's hear it. The Lady and the Cat, yes! She's kind of a babe, too.

That's so crazy. You hear those pitches? It's so crazy. I mean, you hear those pitches? It's incredible. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Whoa. It's amazing.

I mean, it goes on for minutes, which she'll just... See, the control she has is incredible. Oh, my God, she has an English accent? She was the control she has is incredible. Oh my gosh has an English accent Not English Wow. So is this something that she developed? Yeah. Huh.

You can do it, Joe. I believe in you. I don't believe in me. Interesting. Isn't it beautiful? Support. Takes us so far. Yeah.

I just, that's insane yeah have you heard tubin throat singing no it's a Mongolian thing it's a super traditional thing here's the thing though

right now it's a novelty because that doesn't sound as good as someone singing awesome so it's kind of silly no no I can sort of agree

that was more like the introductory that would be like you like being like this is how you sweep the knee I don't really know Friendship is on a different level, but at some point. I really hope you can teach me the martial arts ways Yeah, we'll show you guys some stuff. I don't have the time to spend to really train you. But no, this is why I'm going to say this.

Because if you really want to learn martial arts, martial arts is not something that you're ever going to get good by dabbling. You're going to have to get obsessed with it. And then you're going to have to do it all the time. And I don't have the time to teach you all the time. I'm good at obsessing over things. We'll find others, dude.

But what I'm saying. But what I would do is I would introduce you guys to some movement and some techniques. Great. And I would show you what your body's possible of, if you understood where to put it. And simple stuff. There's simple stuff that you can do, especially jujitsu. Jujitsu is one of the easiest ones for me to explain to someone because I can explain to you in a way that I get my kids to do it.

My kids choke me all the time. They're trying to teach my kids to utilize their hips properly to throw their weight into a kick like there's a snap with your hip. That shit's dance, dude. It's amazing.

It totally is. I heard that's why you didn't give me the poem face. Well, it is in a way. It is in a way in the same way that we were talking about pool is in a way. It's just movement. Yeah. Movement. We'll call it that.

But when it's nice, right? When it's nice. When it's nice to look at. Yeah. Like when someone's dancing, it's nice to look at. When I think about guitar, that's a huge reason why I want to take martial arts is because of how it would impact playing the guitar, playing an instrument, doing anything. Because all of a sudden your efficiency, your movement changes and you're capable of different stuff. Yeah.

I think everything is like that. Teach me how it is. I think if you watch like a little kid's gymnastics class, I take my kids to gymnastics and I watch these little kids bounce around. And it's very interesting watching, like, someone nail something. You know, like, there's these girls that are older, you know, probably like 12 or 13 or something along

those lines, and they're, like, just starting to figure out how to do backflips and they're just starting to figure out how to land gracefully. And then there's girls that are even older than that, like maybe 16 and 17 that are just wicked. You watch them flip through the air and you're just starting to figure out how to land gracefully and then there's girls that are even older than that like maybe 16 and 17 that are just wicked you watch them flip through the air and you're like jesus fuck yeah like and there's some young boys that do like these crazy ring exercises where they can stretch their arms out straight and they're fucking they bring their feet up above their head they flip over and they do a handstand i mean it's nuts right there's

something about watching someone nail movement you know it's just like it's inspiring yeah it's it's guitar someone's shredding it's someone doing a drum solo and it impacts everything so i i play i love to play drums and i have i played a lot when i was a kid less now but i have basically i narrowed my practice down to one thing one thing and I feel pretty fine about it You know I feel like with that one kind of concept I can get where I want to go Which is have any of my limbs do what any of my other limbs can do you know my left hand can do it my right Foot has to be able to do it my left foot can do it vice versa You know I'm saying you have to be a part

It has to not matter to make this vice versa, you know what I'm saying? You have to be a part. It has to not matter. You have to be able to make the sound you want to make. Nice. And when I was doing that, I would notice myself. All of a sudden, I'd be eating with my left hand. You know what I mean?

I wouldn't even think about it. I started shooting basketballs with my left hand. I didn't even know. Were you making the shot? Yeah, dude, I was fucking throwing you. No, I mean, I missed the shot horribly. You know, I think of drums as a person who doesn't know how to play any musical instruments i think of drums as sculpture this is what i think i think i think

when you're when you're drumming like when i watch a like a heavy duty drum solo i think half of what this guy has to do is get away from whatever restrictions his body has on his movements. Like half of what a drummer is doing, it's so physical. There's so much speed and coordination involved that half of what you're doing is heightening your ability to move in like the exact way you want it to move to create a certain sound. And a guy like me, I can't do it. You know, if I brought them, I mean,

I could eventually, I'm sure, learn how to play drums, what I'm saying, like if I brought someone into my world and made them do something that I do physically all the time, like an odd thing, like play pool or something like that, if they didn't know how to play pool, it would be real awkward and goofy and their body wouldn't move right.

But if they know where the fucking stick is going, even though I don't know how to do it, wouldn't move right yeah but if they know they know where the stick is going i don't know how to do it like i see this it's half of what he's doing is trying to cut down on the amount of resistance in his body listening to his mind to make the sound it's the same thing with any instruments i get your violin or whatever it's just on a micro level you know what i mean it's just more contained and that's why i think martial arts, dude, once we do that, we'll fucking take over the world.

Can you come on the road with us? Yeah, and we'll give you drum lessons. That'd be hard to do, but we could do more shows like we're doing New Year's Eve. That's how we plug. That's how we plug around this bitch. If you guys want to go to that show,

there is not many tickets left. I'll just tell you right now, it's not even October. What is it? September 28th or something today? What is today? 28th. But it's a crazy show.

It's Honey Honey. It's Joey Diaz, Duncan Trussell, Ari Shaffir, and me at the Wiltern in Los Angeles. Guys, bring it in 2016. We're ready. We were here for the end of the world that didn't happen. I think maybe because of us. Whoa. Good work, Joe.

I think the show with you, me, and Stan Hope and Diaz might have been so epic. It was some valiant efforts. You said this podcast changing things. I think the universe said, let's give these dumb monkeys a chance. We pulled together a pretty dope end of the mind calendar show. Oh, man. But it was so fun. And we said, oh, we got to do more of those.

We fucking never did. We never did. We're doing it, we've got to do more of those. We fucking never did. We're doing it, dude. We didn't for three years. It's nice to have something to wait for. Shit's been simmering. Yeah, that marinara is going to be ripe.

No wine before it's time. Remember Orson Welles? He used to do those commercials. I don't remember that. Yeah, see, you don't remember. You have to like

But I remember no women before the fight Rocky The legs The legs Oh yeah But you probably saw that On YouTube

I saw it in the movie theater Back when there was No newspapers Back when people Were sending messages On pigeons and shit What? Oh my god

They had smoke signals If something was wrong That's when I saw it That's amazing Lots changed What were you saying That you saw on YouTube? You were talking about

Something that you'd seen On YouTube Spalding Gray Yeah Spalding Gray See I saw Amazing the lots changed what were you saying that you saw on YouTube you were talking about something that you'd seen on YouTube We're watching Spalding Gray. Yes, Paul D. Grace I saw that guy on television actual television, and I think he like he did movies he did Yeah, like short films too and like great. I think he did like movies of his storytelling That's what they released about Jonathan Demme shot this Thing was the film That's right. So it was in the movie theaters.

In my mind, for whatever reason, it was on HBO or something like that. But I guess that's not entirely correct. I think it actually was a movie theater. Maybe. I was trying to muffle the sound of the cubes. I was. The cubes.

Refill, guys. I don't know. Yeah, I think it's about time for round two. Let's do that. You know, we were talking about old people earlier, and it's about time for round two let's do that you know we were talking about old people earlier

and it's interesting because speaking of alcohol there's so many things oh Joe you never put the glass in ice

bartending rule okay hey it's your bowels if the glass breaks you get new ice he's got a solution say when say when oh that's good thank you so many lessons there are solutions out there folks I think about that If the glass breaks, you get new ice. He's got a solution. Say when. Say when.

Oh, that's good. Thank you. So many lessons. There are solutions out there, folks. I think about that. I think about old people a lot when I get, like, you wake up and you have a stiff neck and you're like, fuck, I can't do it. And, like, you're miserable and you're, like, crotchety because your neck hurts or your shoulder

or whatever from the van or whatever we're doing on tour. And then I'm like, this must be what it's like to be old. No, except, like, a hundred times worse. But TO BE OLD. NO, EXCEPT LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES WORSE. A HUNDRED TIMES WORSE. LIKE YOU HAVE AILMENTS ALL DAY. YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE POOPED FOR FOUR DAYS. YOU KNOW WHAT BLOWS MY MIND? IT'S THE BALANCE THING.

SO MY DAD HAS NEUROPATHY. SO THAT MEANS HE'S LOSING THE FEELING IN HIS FEET. BEFORE WE GET INTO THAT, YOU HAVE ANOTHER DRINK? I WAS GOING TO SAY DEAD WEED. OH, NO. NO, BEN, NO.

BEN'S GOING DEEP. GOING IN. OKAY, YES, I'M GOING IN. I'M GOING IN. I'M GOING IN. BEFORE WE GET INTO THAT, DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER DRINK? I WAS GOING TO SAY DEAD WEED. OH, NO. BEN, NO. BEN'S GOING DEEP. IT'S GOING TO BE BAD. GOING IN.

OKAY, YES, I'M GOING TO EASE UP ON THIS. WEED IS LIKE COCAINE FOR BEN. AND COCAINE IS LIKE COCAINE FOR ME. DON'T DOSH. HERE'S THE FUN FACT. COCAINE IS LIKE BIG FOOT TOMATO. CAN I TELL YOU GUYS SOMETHING FUNNY? WHILE BEN POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, BEN, POUR YOUR DRINK.

I'M GOOD. YOU WANT TO CHEERS WITH THAT? YOU DON'T HAVE ANY BOOZE IN THERE, DUDE. I CAN DRINK. WHY DO YOU I'm good. You want to cheers with that? You don't have any booze in there, dude. I can drink. Why do you have a slushie on me? Ben, this is embarrassing. Okay, all the people out there, don't be scared. I'm being peer-pressured. You're totally being peer-pressured. But it's working.

I know. You and that gal travel together. You've got to find a comfortable medium. No, but who do you think is driving? Great. You're not kidding. Listen, we have time. I'm like half kidding.

There's plenty of places to eat around here. Hey, cheers, guys. We'll work this hey cheers it's great to be here yeah please my dad's health problems off into the next dimension did you hear about those fucking people that they were on that ghost hunter show? I died. And they murdered suicide. What? The husband killed the wife

and killed himself, apparently, or allegedly. Wait, wait, wait. In real life? In real life. They were on a ghost hunting reality show? One of those ghost hunting reality shows. Yeah.

Oh, God. And there was like a standoff. You know, apparently there had been like some physical violence, domestic violence issues Between the two of them before Working partnerships And I think the woman was trying to get away from the guy

Allegedly I really shouldn't talk about this Because the amount of information I had About the actual Physical case That the murder-suicide is very small Because I think they're still Investigating it

Really recently A couple days ago that the murder-suicide is very small. But because I think they're still investigating it, right? You know the story, right? You posted about this, didn't you? Really, really, really recently. A couple days ago. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, terrifying. But, I mean, how crazy is that?

These people, you think about what a ghost hunter is. At the end of the day, besides a bullshit artist, what a ghost hunter... At the end of the day, what a ghost hunter is is a historian of tragedy. Wow. Because you're always involved in some story where there was a... What a ghost hunter is, is a historian of tragedy. Wow. Because you're always involved in some story where there was a mass murder.

I don't not believe in ghosts. I got some crazy stories, man. I don't believe in ghosts, but I don't not believe in ghosts. But the idea of what a ghost is, a ghost hunter is, right? If you're a person who's going to a psych ward, okay, and you're waiting in the basement for ghosts, you go into a place where people have been murdered. Yeah, there's some fucked up energy there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're also constantly concentrating on murder.

Yeah, that's insane. Like, for that... And the tension involved in the expectation of a TV show. Dude, if it's not entertaining, we're going to lose our job. None of them are entertaining. So that's Non entertaining show here's every ghost hunter show that's ever been night vision in the basement. What was that sound? Did you hear that?

Yeah, cut the commercial Every one of them. I don't know if we were speaking about frequencies earlier, but I think we were maybe the singing thing But there's a theory this dude had that low frequency sound like crazy low below uh 40 hertz which is just like if you can't military experimented with like dog sounds like whistles this is below that yeah they were saying buildings that produce this kind of frequency and machinery that does this there's a correlation between haunted houses and these places because this kind of frequency can induce hallucination and people, can induce really erratic behavior. It's crazy.

Well, no, same with there's like love frequency. What frequency did Hitler have? There's like the 444. Vegetarian frequency. What is it? Vegetarian. That was what Hitler was, right? Vegetarian. Sure.

He was. Was he really? Oh, yeah. Damn. He was also an artist And he had mommy issues Poor guy You feel like if you got to him

Early in life You could have prevented a lot I think he Have you met him Like when you guys were both 20 Bro We would have sang him Angel of Death

And he would have been like You know what I feel differently About the things I was thinking about earlier Maybe What You Gonna Do Now Oh That would have been A good one for Hitler Right You love that song I love that song Thank you I love you guys differently about the things I was thinking about earlier. Maybe What You Gonna Do Now.

That would have been a good one for Hitler. You love that song. I love that song. I love you guys. It's cool to be friends with someone that you're fans of. It's bizarre. Right back at you, buddy. It's just... We thought about you a lot when we were in Montana.

We were in Montana for about two weeks. Looking for Bigfoot? Well, naturally. Is that cocaine? Yeah. That's code. No, we were, it was so beautiful. But like, you know, wilderness is everywhere and everybody's like, you know, if you go up here, you got to like be careful.

Like we were in Wyoming, we were in Yellowstone. And, you know, we heard so many stories, so many bear stories and things that like really freaked freaked me out because, I mean, I don't have anything to defend myself. I would like to go into nature. You got your wits, girl. Yeah. Well, you're right, though, about being cautious about nature. For the most part, the reality about animals, for the vast majority of instances, animals don't want to have anything to do with people. They want to get the fuck away from you.

Well, that's not true. animals don't want to have anything to do with people they want to get the fuck away from you if at all possible but when we were in Yellowstone so I heard all these stories about people like you know people get killed by grizzlies a few times a year and we were in Yellowstone and literally a week later there was a hiker that got nabbed by a grizzly bear you know it just depends on it's like just bad timing and I never ever

want to put myself in that position of that like I'll go camping here that's fine you know I'll go camping here. That's fine. You know, I'll go camping in, like, Joshua Tree. It's bad timing in a way, but it is also a lack of an understanding of the environment for the most part with a lot of them. Sure.

But although one of the guys that got killed recently was a very experienced hiker, so I might have to take that back. You could fuck up and zig when you should have zagged, and the biggest fear is running into a mother. Sure. a mother bear with her cubs well that's what i'm talking about like i can i can appreciate nature in a way that is i i it's it's so fucking beautiful and like we drove through the park and it was incredible and but like i don't feel like i need to sleep there and and and like i can walk along the river by the car and I feel fine

and I know I might sound like a total fucking chach right now, but I really like, the thought of being torn apart by an animal is utterly terrifying to me. It's a very intelligent approach. But there's a beautiful thing I think about being in that environment and experiencing that kind of

caution and fear too. You're like, holy fuck, I'm a little bit more connected now. Because, yeah, I do actually have to be wary of something threatening to me as opposed to just emotionally. You know what, though? I swear when you're there, that's not what you're thinking about. Well, that's what I'm saying. We thought about you.

The instances are so small. And the reality of the beauty of it all, which is the vast majority of the experience is beautiful. The vast, vast, vast, vast, vast majority. The times that I've encountered bears in the wild, bears don't want to have nothing to do with people. They want to get the fuck. Have you seen grizzlies and stuff?

No, I have not seen grizzlies. That's the ones I'm talking about. Those are the ones that you have to be the most worried. But you just got to be prepared. If you bring guns, you always have to be prepared. But you can shoot a grizzly and it'll still eat you. You have to shoot a grizzly with the right kind of gun and you have to have more than one person

and you have to be ready in case that happens. But most of the time you don't shoot them. You shoot at the ground and you scare them off and they're like, fuck this. And they just get out of there. You can enter into the natural world in most situations and get out without having to do anything where something dies where it didn't have to die.

But there are occasions where, like, I know a guy who went hunting in Alaska and they got charged by a grizzly bear and wound up having to kill the grizzly bear. You know, the grizzly bear tried to get their kill. It was actually a mother They would you know they just didn't want to have anything to do with her But she just decided she was gonna make a rush at them, and I've seen I've seen it on video, too I've seen making rushes at people yeah, you're going out to kill something in the wilderness Yeah, you gotta pick where you go honestly. That's what I'm talking about super dangerous to go where Grizzlies are that's exactly what? The most scary places.

Glacier National Park. They used to have that show on, I think, I don't know, Discovery Channel, whatever. It was called The Hunt. It was one where the guy from Metallica, James Hatfield from Metallica, is apparently a big-time hunter. And he hunted all over the world. Or at least a bunch of different species. There's all these photos of him. And he hosted this show where they were hunting for grizzly bears it was like a really

controversial show because you don't really eat grizzly bears i mean you can but they do not they're not endangered but they're not doing great you know they're not like sort of flourishing they know how many they should kill and they know how many they can kill they like they have like this estimation that wildlife biologists just probably beat off man just loosen his pants up ben was taking his pants off we're in the eagles but for the most part they don't with people for the most part they don't want to have anything to do with you for the most part they'd rather get away they don't want to get shot they just want to stay away from people well so when we were up there, you know, we're like hanging with the locals.

And, of course, like I'm not from those areas, so I have all these questions about what's it like out there in nature. You know, you live in Montana, and, you know, we met this guy who was just—and maybe he was being dramatic, but he was telling me all these horrifying stories where I'm like, why would anyone want to put themselves in that position? And I think it's a matter of, like you said, being fully aware of the environment, having that preparation. I think it's also the stories people tell, honestly. Like you're in that area and there's like a whole culture of bear fear and things like that, at least in certain areas. But it's just like that's what we talk about. We talk about how this one guy who got killed

in Yellowstone, but it's like, I don't think it's the kind of threat. I don't know why I'm reacting so strongly to it right now, but I feel like it's not the kind of threat that... It's because you smoke the cocaine weed. I don't think so. It's not the threat right now, right here. You know, when you're living in Los Angeles, the grizzly bear is not the threat. But you're smart to be

aware that it is, it's on the table if you're out there. Well, Joe, I love nature. I love to fish. Fishing is one of my greatest passions. When I have the time to do it, I fucking love it. I'm learning how to fly fish. It's really fun. And I have all these goals of these places I want to go to, but they're places that scare me.

I don't want to be fly fishing for salmon and there's a grizzly bear across the river. Like, that kind of thing is like, and that's fine. I respect that. I will stick with the area that I feel safe in because I don't have a rifle on me. I don't have Joe Rogan with his, you know, acute target practice. You know what I mean? So I think about this a lot

because... Well, you wouldn't want me, first of all. You'd want someone who would be teaching me. Whatever, dude. you'd want someone who would be teaching me like some of my friends that i've been lucky to be friends with take me to the woods like cameron haynes or steve rinella the guy who was that oh awesome that's great like having friends like that then that's like that's the best way do you think they'd want to go fishing with me and just like hang out they would take you i'm a lot of fun we've talked about that a bunch of times like we should do shows where take people for the first time that have never been hunting Do you think they'd want to go fishing with me and just hang out? Yeah, they would take you. I'm a lot of fun. We've talked about that a bunch of times. We should do shows where we take people for the first time that have never been hunting

because it's such a bizarre experience. Even if you don't shoot anything, just being in the woods in Montana makes you go, oh my God. It makes you realize, wow, life is very different than what we've accepted. We've accepted that life is cities and life is, you know, whole foods and life is. Well, here's the thing. Nature, if you want to talk about like going out to nature and life, nature is everywhere. Like we live in a city, but nature is everywhere.

It's in the fucking middle of your sidewalk. You know, there are birds, there are crows, there are hawks. I mean, there's just so many like it's everywhere. We live in the middle of it. Coyotes, mountain lions. Well, we also, it's like we don't see nature a lot. So I think sometimes we look at nature like an old girlfriend that we haven't called in a long time.

We only have this, like, really elevated idea of who she was. And then you get back with her and you realize, this bitch doesn't give a fuck about me. Damn. It's like that because when you're on the top of a mountain and there's no cell phone service and there's animals creeping around, you're like, this is a fucking dangerous place to be standing still. Yeah, it doesn't care about you. Can I say something, though? There's nothing wrong with that.

It doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. It's beautiful, but it's mean. I think that that girlfriend is here, though. I think there's this sad misconception with the way that people treat quote unquote nature when they drive out to a national park as opposed to when they treat their urban setting, which is there is nature here.

And, but people don't think about the fact that they throw their trash out the window and there's ducks in the pond right next, you know, all this stuff. Like you're still in nature, even if you're in a city, you just, just need to treat it that way. Well, the idea that we would look at the city as not being natural itself. Respectfully.

The city not being natural itself is bizarre. It's all bizarre. The throwing of litter on the ground. When people wantonly open up their window and throw their garbage out the window on the highway. You're like, what? That guy just throw a bag on the highway. Oh, man, whenever we see that on the road, I just want to fucking punch him square in the throat. It's so bizarre how many people do it.

Well, they'll open up a window and throw a bag out. Didn't happen. And you're like, what? Yeah. You just threw a garbage, a Wendy's bag. Yeah. Yeah. People are stupid.

Or just like, but especially like a little piece of paper, you know, like some fucking top of something. Even gum. You spit your gum out the window. Gum is really bad. Birds eat gum. They think it's like a piece of food and then they die. First of all, fuck birds. No.

Listen, Joe. They're on their way out. Joe, you have chickens. You love birds. They're on their way out. You love your farm fresh eggs. No, there's so many fucking birds. Listen, this is why it's really important if you're going to talk to me, you can't take

me seriously ever. I don there's so many fucking birds. Listen, this is why it's really important. If you're going to talk to me, you can't take me seriously ever. I don't. It's super important. Cats are cool. This is our position. My position is fuck birds. I remember when you told me about cats and you were like, cats are awful because they have the thing in there.

They have the parasite. Well, I didn't say it that way. And then you have the cutest cats in the world and you love them so much. I do love them. They're sweeties. That's a cute cat. We just heard a new cat term called making muffins, you know, when they need. Yeah.

They're so fucking needy. You like that, too? My cats are fucking needy. Yeah, I would say it's more like pizza dough. Okay, that works. Wouldn't you call it pizza dough? Just looking for reactions. Joey Diaz had the best bit about that, about doing coke with his cat.

His cat was doing that paw thing. He had this hilarious bit he used to do about doing coke with his cat. I'm looking out one window, he's looking out the other one. Cats are kind of freaking out a lot of the time. I think I kind of see that. You know what? They're nature's cleanup crew, man. And the only reason you're alive is because you're way bigger than them. That's it.

If you're smaller than a cat, it would fucking eat you. You can't have, you could have a dog and a pet gerbil. And you could teach that dog to not fuck that gerbil up. You could teach that dog, hey dude, listen to me, man. The gerbil, off the menu.

And the dog would be like, got it, got it. Don't kill the gerbil. I want it really badly, but it's fine. How do you think dogs are with cats? Like if dogs grow up with cats, they're totally cool with them. I don't know, man. But if they don't grow up with cats, they're fucking dangerous as shit around them. They'll kill cats all the time, right?

So they make these distinctions. I'm saying cats these pretty same cats can't won't make the house leave watch what happened and you did the test with your cats? I want to know. I've never had a pet rat. But I do know that cats, other than a few breeds of super fluffy Persians that get to that weird, non-aggressive state. They're just weird. They're just bred to cuddle. Yeah, they're genetic aberrations. Cats are fucking predators. They're predators. It's amazing. They're predators. It's amazing.

But, you know, then you see these videos of, like, huge African lions in, like, these reserved areas of, you know, of Africa snuggling with the guys that work there. I've seen it on YouTube. It can happen. If they're fed well and they're taken care of well and they're raised well, it's very obvious that there's some guys that know how to make a friendship with a lion. But if they're hungry, you're starting to look fucking tasty. But it's not that much different

than the idea of a wild dog. Like, there was a few instances like, I think there was one where a couple was killed in Georgia. I want to say it was like a couple of years ago by wild dogs. There was a pack of wild dogs that killed these people because people had let their dogs loose

and the dogs just never came home or maybe they didn't feed them and they became feral or they were raised outside. We've seen that in the South. I read about coyotes attacking a woman in Canada, a singer. Yes. You told us about that, Joe. I did.

You didn't read about that. Joe told us. You might have read about it after I told you about it. We thought about that. We stayed at a winery on Saturday night. Actually, Joe, it was a really sweet Rogan fan, this fella that was like, you guys need a place to stay after the show, and of course we do.

Wow, so there's photos of you guys naked online now. While you were sleeping. We have never been naked. We always keep it on. Of course we do, you know, you gotta save money. Wow, so there's photos of you guys naked online now. Truth. While you were sleeping. We have never been naked. Everyone's gonna sleep. We always keep it on. We're never nudes.

That's crazy. Never nudes, man. If you just operate like that, no one has nothing on you. Under my underwear are jean shorts. No sex, no fun. Don't talk and you never say the wrong shit. Trust me, it's the way to go.

Oh boy. Play it safe, guys. No talking, always dressed. But we were, we all slept in this fucking RV, and it was awesome, but there were like coyotes. Yeah. And it was great. It was amazing. But you can hear, they were right outside.

Yeah. And it was so loud, and they had this incredible like, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip. You know, it's funny, but I thought, honestly, I thought about that story about that singer that you told us about. About the girl that was hiking. It's terrifying. But we've got to pack.

On the road, we've got to pack. They're not going to fuck with us. I would tackle coyotes for you, Ben. You wouldn't even have to. I carry a taser on me most times, and a knife. No, you left it in the car, like in a really weird, exposed place yesterday. Okay, well, let's not talk about it. It was one time.

Taser lying on the fucking seat, almost zapped myself. First of all, you have to turn it on properly, so you're fine. Maybe you left it on. I don't know. I didn't.

You can't be alone. Yeah, that's it. I thought we were on the same team. I mean, you can be alone on the same team, but... She's talking about the taser thing. Sorry. Yeah, if you're alone,

they're going to say, okay, there's a weakness here. We can exploit it. We're going to fucking do this. And the girl apparently was really Sorry. Yeah, if you're alone, they're going to say, okay, there's a weakness here. We can exploit it. We're going to fucking do this. And the girl apparently was really small. She was like less than 100 pounds. That's insane. That is terrifying.

And they were like, we could do this. We could just fucking do this. That's so fucking scary. They did. Killed her. We watch a lot of Planet Earth in the car in our travels. And, you know, there's... I'm still thinking about that.

No, it's tough. Do you think that the way that you think about that stuff has changed now that you have kids it's like oh fuck it's just accelerated but it was always there it was it was always bizarre to me how dangerous the natural world is yeah and how it's right there and how dangerously we fuck with it you know like we manipulate shit like i said i'm from ohio Ohio, and this is fucked up. Check this shit out. Okay. In the Cleveland Metro Parks, where I'm from and where my family resides,

there's obviously a deer population that's out of control, like a lot of places, and people get sick of hitting them with their cars. So they thought it was a good idea to bring coyotes in to deplete the deer population, which they're not native to that area. so they thought it was a good idea to bring coyotes in to deplete the deer population which they're not native to that area so there there's coyotes in ohio now which is so fucking weird it's not natural and like you know people start losing their dogs and they they had like they don't think about those things and i remember hearing a story of a of i don't know i couldn't tell you but who the um a good family friend of ours was telling the story that her young children were playing in the backyard, as they always did.

And she looked outside the window and she said there are two coyotes in their tree line. She ran outside and like her little kids were just playing there. But people aren't used to that. You know, it's not like you live in Montana and you know that there's bears there and you know that there's wolves. It's like this new introduction of people manipulating with nature and it's not not cool man well there there was a lot of times people were trying to right wrongs like that's what they were trying to do with the wolf population trying to right the wrongs because they did poison

wolves they used to be more wolves but I'm not exactly sure if you really want to be safe and you really want to have a city and civilization. I don't think you want a large population of wolves. I think it's probably super important if you want to keep this whole people thing going on at the level

it's going on now where we can get new Samsung phones every six months. I really don't think we can keep these fucking wolves around. This shit is the whole reason why we invented cities in the first place. These city people forgot. Did you ever see that video

about how wolves changed the Yellowstone Park? The rivers? Yeah. They do serve a purpose, Joe. Yeah, but the purpose is an odd one. The purpose is that of a predator. Like this idea that only that one form of balance. But not necessarily.

Because you don't want lions in L.A., okay? You just don't. But there are. But there's not. Mountain ones. But no, they're cougars. They're smaller. They're more scared.

But a large lion, like a 600-pound lion. Like what if a few of them started living in L.A. and were like, hey, we have to deal with it, man. You know, what if they eat skateboarders? We would have to, like, accept the fact that they're a natural part of nature. They have to eat, too. But fuck that. We would kill those lions, okay?

We would kill them all. If a lion ate your friend, okay, if you came home one day and a lion was eating Ben, what kind of an attitude do you think you'd have towards that lion? He'd be very upset with him. Can we get a little more detail on the scenario? Well, this is what happened. We got some crazy hippie president that decided the only way for us to have total compassion is to open up the borders to all plants and animals. I'm just trying to work on the balance here.

I'm not an extremist. Coyotes everywhere you look, killing kids, too many kids. Fuck it. We have to be a part of the solution. And he just brought in predators to take out people. Joe, how up to date are you on Terminator? Oh my God. We should end this podcast right now.

That would be the perfect way to end it. I'm not at all. I've missed a boat. Come on. We can fill you in on one and three if you're interested. Well, there's a new one. We couldn't find two anywhere. Which one is the new one?

Or is it just Blu-ray? I don't know. The new one just came out. It's not out yet, right? It's not out yet? I don't know. I live in a small... I think there's five of them.

Khaleesi from Game of Thrones. I heard it. What? Khaleesi. Oh, wow. The really pretty girl, the Mother of Dragons? Yes. That's pretty cool.

Wow. Powerful. I'm not on speaking terms with the Terminator. But the problem is, I could go back and watch those movies. Yeah. There's a lot of movies I need to watch. Yeah. But what really bothers me about the Terminator movie in particular is that we might have, like, real Terminators.

That's what we're talking about, dude. That's why I wanted to bring up the topic. 50 years. Yeah. Might be a real problem. Yeah. People are talking about it. Elon Musk. We're talking about it up the topic. 50 years. Yeah. Might be a real problem. Yeah. People are talking about it. Elon Musk, Bill Gates.

Yeah. Did you hear about that? Stephen Hawking. They signed this letter to be like, we cannot have AI. But it's weird because they signed this letter. We can't have autonomous weaponry. Right. Oh, Jesus.

And then, but they're also, at least Elon Musk is, but a bunch of these guys are investing in AI. So it's like, how are you drawing that line? Because they probably want to be ahead of it, first of all. Yeah. And if you're in the tech business. Hedging their bets. But if you're in the business, like, if you look at, I mean, I'm just assuming that if you're a tech guy, like, part of what it is is about innovation at its highest form. Like, what's innovation at its highest form like what what's innovation at

its highest form other than artificial intelligence yeah it's like the highest form of innovation sure the creating of a life of some sort of sentient being out of plastic and metal and all this is crazy 3d printing like what's the same discussion as the 3d printing stuff this dude cody wilson came out and was like i'm gonna print to print guns because someone's going to. You know what I mean? And then, like, so you look at it and you say, well, it's something that we can't change. If it's something we can't change, then what is it? So where are we going to put our bunker?

Oh, God. Anyway. We're tiring Joe. Joe's yawning. No, I'm just terrified. It's scary. Do you yawn when you're scared? Yeah, I got so scared I yawned.

Bullshit. No, it's not that I'm tired of It's scary. Do you yawn when you're scared? Yeah, I get so scared I yawn. Bullshit. No, it's not that I'm tired of hearing about it. It's that I'm scared. No, it's crazy. It is. I think society, we hang on a string all the time, and we keep fixing that string. We're really good at keeping the string going,

but we assume that the string has to stay, and we know that that's not really true, and that's why we love movies about where the string breaks. And Mad Max. Shit got crazy. Where's the water? Fuck. There's no law.

There's no rule. You have to fight to the death. I mean, it's Barstow. No, it's the worst. If you go to Barstow right now and fenced it in for 10 years, it would be Thunderdome. Damn. I mean, there's spots where you could manipulate, take off, cut them off to the rest of the world, and they would be like that. And there's places that are like that now.

We keep saying that. You know, go to Africa. We've got to go to Africa, Joe. I think if you went to Africa, I'd go, there's parts of Africa that are probably crazier. Exactly. There's a great vice piece on this place in Monrovia in Liberia where it's just like it's a total wasteland people are shitting in the streets the governor or some high Political official came down and shat on the beach just to be like I'm one of the people you know like this

Well that was that before Ebola broke out because it was like people that was part of the like Was that before Ebola broke out because it was like people that was part of the like shitting cause of that was the well Yeah, it's it's all the unsanitary conditions and stuff people living in filth That's part of it. I don't know but but you know can I I really feel Fucking really strongly about this I really feel strongly about you know all we're talking about like hanging by a string and stuff like that. And, you know, oh, God, the government sucks and all this stuff. And all this is true.

You know, you could click a button and just kill a lot of people. But at the end of the day, while we're here, there's some really beautiful things to experience, like your shows, comedy shows, and you make people feel good. What about flowers? What about waterfalls? Flowers are beautiful. Look, I'm fucking going down the list here. Let me have my moment.

And, you know, there's all these incredible things, and, you know, something that we get to see on the road, like we'll have our scheduled Honey Honey shows where you buy your tickets, and then occasionally we'll have these really cool opportunities to play like a concert series that like small towns will have where

they're not, they have no idea who we are, which is awesome because we'll go, we went to this town in Dillon, Colorado where literally like I would say maybe 10% of the people were there to see us but the rest of the people were there

because they lived in the town and they wanted to have their entertainment for the night. And so there was all these different people. They were like really young families and really old people and they all brought their lawn chairs and beers. And we were in this outdoor amphitheater on this Lake and there's, you know, I don't know, like five or 600 people there, something like that. And, and it like, it was such a cool experience because there was this collective experience of all these people that came together for whatever they needed at the time. That wasn't like, you know, it, it wasn't about us. We were offering what we could to the situation. But at the end of the day, it was really beautiful because it was all these people that were having this experience together in their own way. And it was different races, demographics.

And like it was just we had this moment. And it was really cool. And I think right now when the world is in this really funny place that's really, and we can put energy into how scary it is and all that stuff. But we can also put energy into these experiences together where we're trying to figure it out, you know. And, like, I think that's really important. Yeah, I think most of what people are fighting over has nothing to do with most of the people. Yeah. You know, most of the people in the world, what do we want to do?

We want to just hang out with our friends, go to dinner. Yeah. We don't want to take over the oil fields. Most of the people just want to have a good time. Most of the people. There are a few people who, like, really want to push that whole making money envelope to the point where we want to invade countries. Sure. That's 90% of what's wrong with us is it's not most of

us most of us and I think this is what we're able to do now that we we weren't able to do before so most of us can talk to each other we can you know like you can get whatever your message out whatever your message is out in a way that you've never been able to do before. So if you want to do it in a song, if you want to do it with an e-book, like, you can get your message out. A poem? A poem. Don't tell anybody it's a poem. Tell them it's a rap song.

And we love you. Brownie points if you're white. Oh, my God. Right? But I think, I mean, this is the best time ever. Like, people that say, oh, the world's falling apart. No, I don't. Damn it.

I think it's always been fucked because it's filled with people. Like, the world's always been fucked. But guess what? People are fucked and we're the best things on earth. Okay? Yeah. Turtles can suck it. No, it's true.

It's like as light as it is dark. If you were on an island with a bunch of turtles, you'd want to fucking kill yourself inside a week. If there was a million living beings on this island. How do you commune with the turtles, Joe? I was one with these beings. You would commune with them. Please. You'd shoot yourself right in the face.

If I gave you two bullets, one of them was for the turtle that you were going to kill to stay alive for the first day, and the second one you're going to put right in your fucking mouth. Damn. I'm not living with turtles for the rest of my life. Not doing it. How do you prepare the turtle? Do you have sriracha? You just boil it. I need to know. You just have to bang

rocks together to light up dry leaves. Wow, I never thought about this. You're going to have to cook it just to make sure you kill the parasites. It's going to taste terrible. My God. That's a pretty awesome thing, that food tastes so good. You know, you're talking about the context of things, how the world's changed. Shit didn't taste this good.

No. It tastes too good a lot of the time. Food is an art form now. There's some art forms that have probably been around for a long time with food, right? Like, a lot of dishes. There's some, I mean,

we, ethnic dishes, right? We started to do some work with Farm Aid, which has been really cool. And learned a lot about, you know,

the whole fucking structure of, you know, corporate food, corporate, literally, like, all the hormonal shit.

And, you know, you're fine i mean you've got your like mousse and bear in your freezer like your your meat section is covered delicious dang glad you guys enjoyed it it's so good but but you know they're the majority of the food that people eat in in their grocery stores you go to safeway or you go to fucking Piggly Wiggly. That shit is toxic. Piggly Wiggly, damn. That shit is awful. It is God fucking awful.

I don't think it's that bad. And it will give you cancer. I don't think it's that bad. Joe. Honestly, here's the thing about meat. Like, it's just like protein and water. If you ate that every day, your shit would be fucked up. You'd be like, why do I have acne all of a sudden?

You would freak out. I'm not convinced I don't know Because this is The only reason Why I'm saying this But it's a shitty protein Well I don't know

If it is or it isn't See I don't understand I just want to be honest about it I don't know Like what you actually get Off of a piece of meat It seems to me Like logically

I am attracted To like a darker Richer meat Because I feel like it would be a healthier animal. And not logically and sensually, too. There's something biologically being like, no, this is better. But then that's why it's counterintuitive because like a lot of the really fatty cuts of meat are the ones that people enjoy the most. You're right. That's why they like that Wagyu.

Wagyu, how do you say it? I don't know. The Japanese version of beef where they fatten them up. But wait, wait, wait. Are you talking about fatty versions of meat that have been processed to be that way? No, you're saying it's the appeal. There's the appeal. Sure.

I guess it was because fats have always been super important because it was hard to get food. Yeah, and they help you digest too. They do a lot of shit. But also, you really want the attraction to things that have a lot of calories. That was one of the most important things where people are starving to death all the time well you had to get that fat yeah like fat was important yeah and big was like key because like we got to be big right now and you know it just just shows you how these things change now bigger is kind of fucking is over you know it's like over consumption people are just so big now

too like there was a thing on tv the other day about a kid who was a senior in high school. He's the biggest football player ever. Whoa. And he's a senior in high school. He's 7 feet tall, 440 pounds. Holy shit. And he's 17 years old. Jesus.

That's incredible. It's insane. We're going to go right to the fucking moon. We're going to scrape the moon with our heads. Then we're going to just keep getting bigger. That's insane. People are going to be too big. That's insane.

They're going to run out of oxygen and start dying because they're going to get to a point 1,000 years from now where 1,000 people... I would like to know more about that kid's diet and what kind of supplements he's taking and stuff like that. Right. What did he eat? If it was some crazy lightning strike of natural phenomenon,

that would be incredible. And I'm totally open to that. But there's so many things like with processed meats, girls are getting their periods at 11. Are they, though? Yeah. I mean, that should have shucked up. What creepy fucking guy is standing there with a clipboard?

Have you started to bleed yet? Oh, my God. Margaret, let me see your panties. Oh, my God. Where do they keep Margaret? Who is this guy that's asking these fucking period questions? It better not be a guy. It better be a woman.

I hope you have a woman doctor that's not a fucking creep. God, I hope it's not some creepy. You know what's funny? The first time. The first time. Did you know I got arrested today? No. Well, you got sentenced to. This is a fucking creep. God, I hope it's not some creep. You know what's funny? The first time. The first time. The dude in San Diego that got arrested today? No. Well, he got sentenced to.

This is a terrible story. This guy got sentenced to only one year of house arrest, and he pleaded guilty to fucking eight of his patients while they were under. Oh, man. Kill Bill in it. Oh, that's terrible. He only got a year of house arrest. That's horrifying.

That's really fucked up. People thought he was going to get 20 years. What's his name and social security number? I don't even want to. Google it. That's horrifying. People thought he was going to get 20 years. What's his name and social security number? I don't even want to... Google it. Let's find him. It's awful. That's a twisted dude. I was going to talk about

an inappropriate story, but I'm not. Oh, too late. Great. The first time I had a gynecology thing. Holla. When I was like, I was like 18. And it was a male doctor and he was so hot that I like did not know what to do with myself.

I remember being like, so. Wow, that's a scene in a porn. It really was incredible. I had my pelvis zapped with an electric needle by a beautiful dermatologist. Not the same thing. What if the guy looked at it and gave you a thumbs up? That's when it would have been really weird. No, you should tell them about that.

About what? The guy wasn't there. I can't. I wasn't there. I can't accept while you are still in the building, she's going to go to the restroom. She might not want to talk about that. That might be how she's trying to get out of it. Good point. You can't hold her to the fire. That's not want to talk about that. That might be how she's trying to get out of it. Good point. You can't hold her to the fire.

That's true. It's a vagina thing. That's considered. If a girl's talking a story about a vagina, you have to either, it comes or it doesn't come. You can't like, come on, what happened to your pussy? They don't love that? I think she'll love it.

They get mad. What happened? Come on. What happened? Joe, what's up with your dick? What's up with your dick? Why is your dick, is your dick happy? Or no?

Oh, boy. So you're having a dick problem? What's the deal? The dick problem that old people get or the dick problems that pedos get? What kind of dick problem are we talking about here, fella? I had a Band-Aid on my dick once. Vaginas are infinitely more sensitive to criticism. You know, like you can make a joke about a dude having a stinky dick,

but if you make a joke on stage about a woman's malodorous vagina, you would be a terrible person. They won't have anything to do with you. Even if you're telling a true story, if you did tell a true story. If you did tell a true story about a woman's stinky vagina, you would have to really word it well. You feel like it's a double standard?

Yes, I do. Let's work away, dude. You've got to start doing it. You've got to lead the charge. This is my thing. I don't think necessarily that all double standards are there because of inequality. I think all double standards are there because of inequality. I think some double standards are there because we want to quantify things

instead of just looking at them as being completely different. Sure. You tell a dude his dick stinks, and he goes, all right, I'll wash it. But also, it's really got to be serious if you're not up close to it. It might be stinky as fuck. It's very possible for your dick. What the fuck are you guys talking about? If you're not up close to it. It might be stinky as fuck. It's very possible for your dick. What the fuck are you guys talking about? If you're lazy, you don't clean your dick.

It's very possible your dick could be stinky as fuck. Are we talking about uncircumcised penises? I mean, no, necessarily. Stinky dicks versus stinky vaginas. That a man saying a woman's vagina is stinky is like a terrible thing to do. It's like there is a double standard because it is different. But maybe it needs to be said. It's a more powerful statement.

To a woman? Yes, because if you tell a dude that his dick stinks, he goes, all right, I'll wash my dick. Like, that's it. You know once you wash your dick, it's clean. It's not going to continue to stink. I think some dudes will freak out about it. They'll be like, what do you mean?

What's wrong with me? Those guys are babies. Most guys are just going to wash their dick. dick, it's clean. It's not going to continue to stink. I think some dudes will freak out about it. They'll be like, what do you mean? What's wrong with me? Those guys are babies. Most guys are just going to wash their dick. Okay, you're right. Wash their dick. But for a woman, you're dealing with an internal flora issue. Right? Sure.

That's the issue of having any sort of a yeast infection. It's actually like it's life forms living in your cooter. That's way more dangerous. I mean, doesn with your diet affect the smell of your jizz I've been thinking about that for the last hour well we know it affects the smell of your pee right if you eat asparagus you can smell your asparagus while you're peeing I gotta assume that makes it into your your calm as well. Oh, yeah It only makes sense. I think Wow, I go to the bathroom for like two minutes. You brought up the gynecologist. I did.

Alright, so don't go throwing that around. As soon as Ben and I were locking eyes with each other, we went right into the toilet. You guys want me to go pee again? We went right into the toilet and started talking about stinky dicks. That did happen. Fuck. That is not the direction I like for us Joe Dude it is what it is It is what it is Live with it It's a funny thing I just think that's why it's funny

It's ruder for some Whatever biological reason It's ruder for a man to mock A woman's stinky vagina In a cruel fashion Do you think that's out of insecurity? Do you think that's like a degrading thing that you want to like

just sort of devalue a woman's special place? It's very possibly, but it's also equally negative on the other side when a woman mocks a man for having a tiny dick. It's not the size of the dog. I swear

by that. Lies. Honestly, that's not the point. But a micro dick. If a guy has a micro dick. I need to shut my mouth. If a guy has a little tiny dick, there's guys that have micro dicks like that. Micro cack. Like a full-on chode? Joe, what are you about? A tiny one.

Like a little one. I'm saying like a little terrifyingly small little dick. And if someone mocks that... What if he's really funny? Well, that'll help. But it's less offensive to make fun of a stinky pussy than it is to make fun of that. Because I think a stinky pussy can be cleaned up. That's right. That's right.

All you need is some acidophilus in your life, girl. Oh, my God. Questions answered. All you need is some wild kimchi. Oh, my God. You need some raw foods. Damn. Take care of your flora.

I hope that my mom and dad never listen to this podcast. They probably will. They've been mentioned on it. Listen, mom. You know what's up. They've been mentioned on it. These chairs are fucking dope, dude. They're not bad.

They're very good. They really do help with the posture. Ergo Depot. Shout out to Ergo Depot. They sent them to us. I was skeptical at first because I had one before that. It was like super uncomfortable. It was like one of those knee ones where you go on your knees. You know what I'm talking about? Yep.

And you're on your butt in some sort of a weird way. Tough to get used to. But they do make you keep a good posture. And then I got this other one that was like a saddle. But then this dude from Ergo depot haul it at me He said those are not good for long term It's like you're sitting at a desk for a long period time He needs something like this and he sent it to me and I was like, but it looks like a regular chair And then you sit in you go. Oh, it's gonna capisco. That's what's called. You sit in you go. Oh, yeah

I've perfect fucking posture. Well, it's really interesting how they've done all these studies on your posture. On your posture. Yours specifically, Joe. News grenade. People are watching you and listening. But the way your body language expresses, there's certain chemicals. Don't get crazy. There were studies like if you sit like this

you know there's this like power stance that's the dick forward sure it's called the dick forward is it are you just being

no guys are so I go I put my feet up on the desk and I go dick forward no I'm not even joking it's like guitar too it's like a move

it's above the dick it's like a horse stance but if you were to sit like oh that's is that true? Really? Yeah, yeah. Wait, really?

Why did I not know that? Why did I not know that? What do you mean? No, he's being serious. You're serious. Yeah. I'm going with it. I mean, sometimes...

Serious or not, it's serious now. So Dick Ford... Don't sell me down the river, Ben. Let me have this dream. Or why don't we all just fucking sit back? But if you sat like this... Well, Dick Ford, especially if a guy has like maybe some sort of alligator skin cowboy boots on

and he puts his feet down on the ground in some sort of an office chair you know what I'm saying some sort of a risky environment and then puts his hands behind his head leans back and goes well how much do you like this job I'm about to go Dick Ford there's like chemicals released from that physical position.

Like you're fucking, like shit's going on. Like you're getting more powerful by sitting like that. Like Thor. I can feel it. Thor with his hammer. Yeah, you're just like Thor. Hammer's out. They say that about smiles, right?

That like when you smile. Fake it till you make it, dude. It actually has an effect on your brain. It like gives you a certain amount of happiness now my problem with that or mean it i think mean it's possible yeah that's great let's not sell ourselves so short yeah that's much better how about fake it till you mean it oh damn oh that's that's so beautiful oh my god we're just here to singing a song we went deep Was it even that good?

That's a fucking t-shirt that we should sell fake it till you mean it Have no emotions pretend you do grow they'll grow Water them with the tears of others Here's Honey Honey With their fucking new hit Your tears taste delicious Yeah This is a slam poem It's even worse than a regular poem

Have you ever been to I'm gonna say it in a voice that's not mine Always here and always on time Top of the mountain, bottom of the gully. I've been here before my friend Sully.

You didn't have to rhyme, dude. No, it was good. I come from a strong immigrant background with a very good work ethic. You gotta make some shit rhyme if you want to call it a poem. You can't just say a bunch of shit. The lightning hits the thunder. I'm on the street.

Why is it wet? I never thought about that. My father doesn't love me as much as he loves his new wife as I get in my car. And I wish my tire wasn't flat, but it is. Deal with it.

I can't. I try. All right, dude, you're casting a spell on me. My alarm wakes up. I wish my life was that interesting. Back to the grind. It was a dream. It was a dream.

It's still going. And then I light my cigarette. And everybody... You just captured us, dude. You captured us. Then you have one single tear. You light your cigarette and there's one single tear and everyone's like, oh my God. Can you fake cry, Joe?

Everyone has a bonus. No. In your acting days? No, but I cry like a bitch, man. I'll fucking cry. People get mad at me because I cry so easy. But I just get, I don't cry for sad things. It's a weird, I'm a weird person in that way.

Oh, you cry for happy things? I cry for like powerful things. That's fucking awesome. That makes sense like sad things sad things make me really sad but um i mean i can absolutely cry from them but a lot of times like involuntary tears come from uh really happy things that's beautiful like like uh like i'll be talking to somebody on the pod like ronda rousey when she was in here i was talking to her about her her dad and her you know her dad committed suicide man and this chick that she was fighting in her last fight oh i saw it said something that she interpreted as like she might kill herself like her father and you know whether

or not that was exactly what that girl meant it didn't matter because that's what ronda saw and that's what she and then she went out there and beat the shit out of that girl and I was like, whoa. That was fucking crazy. But it was so crazy. It was like this weird moment in history. I had this feeling for a minute that I was in this place that there's going to be a point in time. It didn't matter if the girl wasn't the right opponent for her. It didn't matter whether the girl was in her league.

What it was was what had happened in this country, where this chick had come overseas and just beat the fuck out of this girl on pay-per-view. It's a girl. And then, so you have this crazy sport that everybody resists, like, oh my God, it's barbaric, it's masculinity, it's most toxic. The biggest star is a hot chick.

The biggest star, the biggest star is, sweat this, the biggest star in the craziest, most violent sport the world has ever known is a beautiful woman who's highly skilled, who is a living Charlie's Angels movie, who flies to other continents to beat the fuck out of bitches. I mean, we're talking about a girl. That's her job. A girl who, if she decided to starve herself, she could easily be a model.

She's beautiful. Instead, she chooses to get in a metal tube and fly to South America and beat the fuck out of some chick on pay-per-view. And when you're there and you watch that happen and you watch this paradigm shifting moment, for me, I was like, whoa. Did you cry? I almost did then. I almost did when I was interviewing her

and a tear leaked out a little bit when I had her on the show and I talked about it. But I almost cried when I was talking to Conor McGregor. I was talking to Conor McGregor after he beat Chad Mendes when I was talking about Ireland. Oh my, wait, wait, wait. Joe, that was the show Ben, in Vancouver.

You guys were in Vancouver while it was happening? Wait, he fought. The guy was from. Chad Bendis. From California, wasn't he? Yes, yes. We literally, Joe, we watched that show from a sports bar. We didn't know who was coming to our show in Vancouver.

And I said to Ben, I was like, I'll bet a bunch of people from this bar are coming to our show. And it was weird because it wasn't a market that we're really prevalent in. And I'm not even joking you. Like 95% of the people that were at that show were Rogan fans. And they were watching that fight. So it was weird. You'd be amazed at how many parallels there are. We all have these prejudices against people.

People that would be into MMA wouldn't be into your kind of music. But you're totally wrong. We're all totally wrong. We're all scared. We were talking about earlier about the natural world. We're all terrified of all the dangers of when people didn't have the internet.

They didn't know who the people were that were coming in boats. We have less and less to fear. We're more and more like each other, and we realize that more and more on a daily basis. Sure. So, like, when the mergings of our sort of fans is, like, the perfect example of that. Yeah.

Like, universally, the people that I introduced to you, I don't want to blow you guys up, but universally, they love you. I mean, you guys are awesome. It's not like I go, hey, these guys suck, but they're cool. They're fun to hang out with. If I tell you I love them, I'm telling you these guys, there's something going on. But you're telling people in your community a lot of the time they're really open people

too. You know what I mean? That plays a big role. We didn't think we could be. We all thought that we had issues with each other we were all thought like that somehow another you couldn't be athletic and also like books no one want to talk to you about those books you couldn't be into documentaries but also be into martial arts you couldn't do that you couldn't do that because you were either like a meathead or you were a nuanced person who wasn't

worried about physical activities that couldn't be both dude like people it's so i love that you just said that because like i play the fucking banjo and violin and people think we're a country band but we fucking rock like ben plays the electric guitar and we have like it gets crazy and like but then we'll be sensitive and then we call ourselves honey honey is it fair to say you guys are a donny and marie for 2015 oh joe she's a little bit country she's a little bit nice hold on let me write that down that wasn't good fuck i'm sorry i forced that one in there too it wasn't even good and i forced it in there they were the first they were the first fucking like they were kind of like a hybrid band. They were brother and sister, though, right?

Did you ever see the SNL with Lucy? They're Mormon? Yeah. How dare you? Wow, I'm so sorry. Man, they're so Mormon. Remember Dude from Desert Noises? Dude from Desert Noises, his aunt and uncle, or his, their Donnie Murray.

You want to know how Mormon they are? I'm going to turn you on to something. I'm going to turn you on to something. Hook me up. Jamie, pull up the album of the Osmond Brothers. There was an Osmond Brothers album where they did, where they all showed their planets that they have. Planets?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you die, if you're a serious fucking hardcore Mormon, you get your own planet. What? I want one. That's pretty cool. Wait, what are we doing here? Why are we getting our fucking planets?

One of their albums is like them, and it shows like Mormon mythology on the album, No one wants me. That's pretty cool. Wait, what are we doing here? Why are we getting our fucking planets? One of their albums is them, and it shows Mormon mythology on the album, like planets and shit. Wow. Damn. Like you can't. How does it go? What is it, Jamie?

I didn't find it. It's you get a planet when you die. If I'm out of line, please. I mean, if I paraphrased. No, you did great. But I'm pretty sure. The truth is coming. Because I remember somebody showed it to me, and I almost blacked out.

Because I was like, is this real? I'm going to say something. You know what I'm not embarrassed about. I don't know. I couldn't name a song. Donny Marie? Donny Marie. Oh, they had a lot.

They had a lot. They had a lot of hits. They're very nice. Like, Donny especially is, like, a really nice guy. He's very friendly. He's, like, a super, super super, super nice, easygoing guy. That's awesome. When you're around him.

When I was a kid, I used to watch the Donnie and Marie show on TV. So to meet him in real life, I was like, is this real? It totally didn't seem real. I'm meeting Donnie Osmond. I'm like, what? This cannot really be Donnie Osmond. There's no way I really hope after this we can this is SNL with Louis Marie Dreyfus. This is it's called the plan apparently which one though from

Sorry Louis We have some sort of an issue with our but did they have like a huge radio hit at them? Yeah, they had well donny marie had a big time show they had a big television late night wasn't it so it was more about the show i feel like it was like a one night a week variety show if i had to remember like correctly dig deep into my uh memory banks but they would have, like, singers on, and they would sing. She would sing, I'm a little bit country.

And he would be like, and I'm a little bit rock and roll. Yeah, totally. Yeah. That's us, dude. And they would have this thing. We're kind of working

towards that. I think that's it, dude. Ben is my brother? Surprise. I think it's the plan, and then there's the inside of the album that has all sorts of, like...

It says, going home with that hand. Oh, the hand that holds the earth. Is that what it is? Yeah. That's the inside? Yeah. Going home.

Interesting. Is that their home? But whatever it is, that Mormon thing, whatever it is, it made Donny Osmond a very nice person. Wow. He was very nice. That's kind of the stereotype. Is there a message in here?

I don't know if it matters I don't know if it matters. Don't know if it matters. I think in the end, being a nice guy like Donny Osmond is more important than knowing exactly how stars are made. Knowing how planets are formed in real life, it doesn't really apply to the real world

because it's a super slow process and if you dwell on that, you don't have any time. There's no room. You can't fit that in there. Joe, I have a planetary question. Can I ask you? Yeah. Okay, so I'm reading this book. It's talking about all this gas, all this matter just, boom, colliding together and

falling into orbit of the sun and becoming this planet that we're on. Right. So why is there heat? Why is there a ball of fucking fire in the middle of it? That's a super good question. Where did that come from? No idea. Me neither.

I think it's like fairy dust and leprechaun cum. Love it. That's what I'm talking about. The fairies and leprechauns, they each fuck a separate tree. And it forms a crystal. And it fights to the death in the center of the earth. And it takes six Texans to change a light bulb. Because the seventh one has to watch the crystal. We don't need light bulbs. We light candles around here.

We like to go old school. Ride horses, light candles. Burnin' wax. We drank whiskey. And we shoot intruders. They're dangerous. They could be threats. I just became really self-aware of everything that we're talking about.

This might be the most fucked up we've ever been on one of these podcasts. No, last time was so bad. No, because last time I smoked weed and I was like, boo! Just flatlined for like a couple of minutes. So when you smoke weed, it makes you introspective? It makes me very introverted and tired. Like, I don't know.

I'm not good at it. But also, I'm not, but it makes me sleep, which is great because I have a really hard time sleeping. Right. So I think that's something, I have just a chemical reaction to it. I've tried, dude. I've fucking tried. No, I hear you. Listen, I hear you.

You guys are so good at it. You shine. You really shine. I totally understand where you're coming from. Who the fuck knows what it does? I mean, I know people that can't drink coffee. If they have a cup of coffee, they feel like they're going to have a heart attack. They just can't do it.

They just, for whatever reason. Coffee's really weird. I'll have a cup, and I will just, like, peak, and then I'll crash. Like, if I have too much, I'll crash, and they get really sad. But, like, for, like, the two hours, I'm just super productive, like, emails and shit. Everybody does that. Are you making fun of me? No, no, no, no.

Yes. If I knew how to put you in a headlock, I would do. But I think I do. I'm totally making fun of you, but not for real. That's the one. You do like a karate chop though. How do you protect the nose? You want to turn the wrist.

Turn the back of the hand towards the back of the head. No, the other way. His head. The person you're choking, spin your hand like left pinky down. Left pinky down. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. and make like a karate chop with your hand yeah make a karate chop thing like you would cry chop like straight hand right now that's what you're sneaking behind their neck yeah and then you squeeze

down on that that's how you do it I can fucking do yeah you got it you do it the hand on the back of the neck it goes into like a karate chop position like this and what that does is it gives you maximum leverage. Fucking take it. Take it. You can do it. I can do this. If you do get under someone's arm, you could totally choke a guy to sleep.

A hundred percent. Thank God. There's a lot of women. Like if it came to the difference between like a woman who's like a kickboxer defending herself with the same amount of experience in the gym as a woman who's a jujitsu uh black belt defending herself it would be on my in my opinion i would favor the woman like her ability to dominate a much larger opponent using only jujitsu skills over uh especially for women, I think. I think because jiu-jitsu is the most technical and the most positional and leverage-based

of all the martial arts. And it's sort of like, I attribute it, I compare it to like getting in an argument with someone who doesn't know English very well. Like if you were having an argument with someone and they were like really shitty at English and they were just slowly, You'd be like, what? What the fuck are you talking about, dummy?

What did he say? Spit it out, stupid. Like, it was a mean person. You fucked God or yourself. Right. Well, it's the same way with jiu-jitsu. Like, if you knew the language of jiu-jitsu so well, and you had some dumb dude that was trying to grab you,

you'd be like, yeah, fuck you. Ha! Yeah! Ha! And, like, you'd be like some crazy ninja chick on his back choking him. That is absolutely feasible. Whereas, like, with striking, the real problem that a lot of women face is the actual physical size of their bones.

Like, when you're punching people especially, like, unless you have your hands fully wrapped up, like in a good boxing wrap and then a padded leather glove on top of that. It's hard to just punch people in the face unless you have a good, sturdy build. We're not like in a... I'm not like in a position where I'm going to have an actual battle with someone yet.

You don't know that. I don't know. You're right. But at this point... Well, do you want to do it for competition or do you want to do it for self-defense? Self-defense. I mean, like... But see, then you can't say that, because that could happen on the way to the grocery store. Oh, my God, yeah.

You could run into some crazy, messed-up chick who wants to fucking duke it out. Literally. You fucking cunt! You're the one! There's some times where, like... We're doing this. I wish I had the fucking manpower, literally, to... Like, we were in Nashville, like, two weeks ago for Americana Fest. We were playing this. I wish I had the fucking manpower, literally. We were in Nashville two weeks ago for Americana Fest.

We were playing this festival. And we were driving under this bridge. And there were these two guys beating the fuck out of each other in the middle of the street. There was a bottle over the face. This one guy was choking the other guy. Good technique or no? It looked terrible. It was sloppy.

It was sloppy. It was sloppy crackhead bullshit. It's one of my main puzzles with human race. But it was like, obviously we called the police, but I had this moment where I was like,

I wanted to do something. I'm like, what the fuck can I do? And I literally leaned out the window and I went, stop it! Stop it! I didn't know what to do

and I called the police, but if I were a ninja like you, I'd go in there and be like, No, no, no, no. I would have definitely stayed in my car right 100% you're totally right listen to me listen to me if you fucking if you're driving by two people beating the fuck out of each other you are not there okay you you are in a car you're in a car just because it's right in front of you that that shit could be 100 miles away. Unless, unless there's someone in that mixture that needs you.

Like, if there's someone who's small and they're getting beaten up by someone big, then everything changes. But if it's two fucking dudes, you fuck my pig. Not your pig. You owe me that pig. And they're fighting in the street. Just try. Hey, griffin, fucking. So my. They're fighting in the street. Just try. So my point is, don't always stop.

Just kiss already. Don't always stop. Sometimes you've got to let two dudes beat each other to death. It's better for everybody. It's for certain people. It's fine. Just give them both rocks and push them near the edge. Go.

Let them fall. What are they going to do? Are they going to stay and keep coal mining? You got to keep moving, okay? Genes need to flourish. They need to find better streams of diversity. I appreciate the perspective. That's what I'm saying, man.

Don't always stop fights, but some fights you have to stop, right? The classic is a man beating a woman. Get out and see a man beating a woman. There was a... There's a small battle in the front room of the Honey Honey show the other day in Long Beach. I don't like that. I don't like that either, but I also think it's amazing because... Because, like, I'm like, guys, guys, guys, guys, you're at a Honey Honey show.

Don't hug each other. It's like, it sounds... Look, we're fucking hardcore, but also we're fucking lovers. And, like, it was, like, it was amazing to have these dudes were fighting. And I was like, fuck you, motherfucker. And I was like, guys, one of you has a Honey Honey t-shirt on. I just want to be like, let's think about this for a second. Here's a, I hate that expression, pro tip.

Whenever someone tells you that they're hardcore they're never hard yeah that's a hundred percent and like when that expression we're hardcore but that never comes out of the mouth but joe but joe check this out like because you sounds like you cry sometimes like you're just as hardcore as you are soft yo no no i think you're equal parts but i would never claim hardcore. I've never claimed hardcore. I don't say it. I'm more of like a medium core. I'm balanced.

I'm all about longevity, balance, thought, constant assessment of the path. Don't try to run the furthest. Try to make sure you hit the least trees. That's how I look at it. I think it's super important to evaluate the next few steps. Well, I think there's a lot of fucking continuing the same patterns that have got people into

the positions we're in now. Watch the flailing. Yeah, a lot of flailing. That's a great word, too. It's perfect for it. It sounds like what it looks like. Flailing. No, it's true.

Flailing is one of the best words ever. Descriptively. That's a good one. I flail all the time. You call someone a flailer? Damn, you got them. It's true. Right? What do you want to say? Fucking hardcore, bro. You're a flailer.

Dude, you're flailing. Yeah. You're just running, flailing. The minute you use that word, they crumble. And they're like, you're right. I know. I'm sorry. It's definitely a word that forces you into a bad position. You know?

Sure. It's a very unsturdy word. You're already there. I think that's how you tell them. Flailing is not like, oh, you've got your footing. It's like, you're fucking falling out of control. Let me hold you. I think conversations are, in a lot of ways, they're like numerical exchanges.

Like, you know, you say something that's 30, and she goes, oh, this bitch wants to get crazy. And she says something that's 37, and then you might just ratchet it right up to 90. And everybody's like, what in the fuck? You're like, what happened to 42 in 1670? But if we take away the cultural context of the words, she calls me a cunt. My mother told me, don't let a girl call you a fucking cunt. If a girl calls you a cunt, you stab her.

You stab her in front of your mother. It's fucking to the death, to the death. Cunt is a big word. But what are those things? What are those moments? Well, those really take away the cultural context. There's a numerical value to the expression. Like that girl hit you with a 90 bomb.

You're a cunt with a stagy pussy. No! No! That bitch tried to cut to the bone. She tries to go through your emotions to get to your fucking nervous system and start chiseling in there. I do that sometimes. Chipping away at the fucking... Do you do that?

Occasionally, yeah. But I think that's what it is. It's a dark place. If you look at it not in terms of a conversation between two people that are being mean to each other. Throw all that stuff away. Throw out all the cultural framework That we have

You're watching a number exchange You're watching people play a game And a sound exchange too Yeah You know I keep trying to Fucking get it to sound It's a competition

It's a competition There's a social competition Involved in people Being mean to each other Oh I really think that's what a lot When people like You know

Someone hits you with a 32 And you hit them with a fucking 40 You know know, like, whoa, I walked away on a 40. Yeah. You know, and I was going to fucking keep going, but I decided, nice clean kill. There's a competition. You'll go back to the water cooler, you talk about it. This fucking guy comes up to me and he says, well, one day maybe you'll be a manager too. I'm like, bitch, you don't think I know your fucking dad owns the company?

Are you out of your mind? If you were to live in my life. Specifically, what are you talking about? They'll shut the door. They'll lock the fucking lunchroom. And they'll have these deep conversations. I told this motherfucker, if your dad didn't own this company, you'd be buried under my fucking house. You understand me?

Oh, my God. That's what people do. So they go through there. But what are they doing? They're number exchanging. That's what they're doing. Yeah. They're trying to win some stupid social dominance.

Then we do that sometimes, but then we're okay with it. Well, it's all dynamic. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She just got real with you, bro. Word. Okay, sorry. No, we fight hard. We fight hard.

We had a big fight like last week. I got out of the car. Took a long walk. Damn. Thought I was going to take the train to the next city. You need me to travel with you. No, no.

You know what? Do it. We'll go to Africa. Can I be honest with you about something? What? She hates me. She fucking hates me. She's pointing.

Can I be honest? Just fucking, you guys. You guys have been following me around. You're right. I've spent the better part of the last ten years with you because I hate you. No, but it's true. You know, it's something,

the numbers game, I have a temper for sure, you know, and some triggers as do you. We all have tempers. It just takes

different things to get there. But the maintenance of this band that we're in requires a certain frequency, your fucking

favorite word today. If we don't exist in that, there can be an imbalance and then it can build into this fight and then we'll fucking fight because we're in a fucking band. But like... Because we're two people that spend so much time

together and go through all these incredible experiences, but there's a certain... And finish each other's sandwiches. There's a stress that comes along with it. You know what I mean? I totally get it. And you know, dude, you're traveling, you're doing these shows, or just living, whatever. But...

Well, my relationship with the comedians that I work with is less intimate because we don't share a... We very, very, very, very rarely... Same sandwiches. ...share a stage at the same time. Yeah. And we don't have to practice together. Right. And we, you it's it's a totally different experience i think because it's it's like you guys if you have a bunch of friends that you consistently tour with you know that we're not

in your band like it's very very talk about numbers um having the right combination of people in because we're in a we're in a youth Cadillac Escalade, 2007. This is how all good romance novels start. And there's room for about four people, save for a girlfriend. Every once in a while, our drummer's girlfriend comes out, or possibly our... Oh, that bitch. No, she's great.

She's really great. She's very sweet. Joe, Joe, don't do that. First of all, I'm sure you're a wonderful person if you're listening to this. I'm just joking. I'm not talking about you at all. I couldn't possibly be talking about you. I don't know you, and they have said nothing wrong about me.

We're covered. These are just jokes. You have this combination of personal space. And that cunt who keeps talking. Shut up. She's trying to read my text listen you bitch this is your side of the bus this is my side of the bus you wouldn't even be here if you were joe made and broke honey honey these are jokes i'm just joking no but it's funny because like we like we will fight and then we'll have these

great experiences like where we just, you have to like work your, it's like we're all married. Everyone in the band, you know, it's like you spent so much time together to this point where like, I know by the way that Ben breathes sometimes that like, oh, he's really fucking mad or he needs a sandwich. Or you're just creating drama with your fake psychic powers. We have psychic fights. There it is. We have psychic fights.

I know you're mad at me. Now spit it out. I'm mad at you now. Joe, please come on the road with us. Stop it. Please, please, Joe. Listen, you guys need more people to bounce off of. You need to get annoyed at me every now and then.

You're like, tell that fucking guy to just turn it off. Turn it off. No more jokes, no more funny. No, but we have good dosing. You know what I mean? We see each other every couple months. I honestly do think it's like eating meatloaf every day when you're with the same person every day.

Like, you want to meet new people. But you guys are achieving something that you couldn't achieve if you're just in this crazy life where you went one way. You guys got this weird thing going on, because you have this weird, you have this artistic synergy, I would say, in that you're both very different, but you're also very cool to each other.

As much as you guys get in fights, when you guys are nice to each other, I can see when you guys interact that you genuinely love each other. And you're genuinely friends. And if you do say something a little mean occasionally, you're genuinely sorry.

And you genuinely care and love each other. So when you guys do that, it comes out. That comes out in your music. You're not day players on a fucking sitcom pretending to be in love with each other. You know what I'm saying? I mean, you guys aren't like fucking guys,

studio musicians they brought in, never met each other, and they're going to lay down a track. No, you guys have been doing this, and you have this thing you're doing together. You have to deal with the fact that you're so intimate with each other like you you're gonna annoy the fuck out of each other you are each other i mean you guys are fucked up you can totally move on with your lives if it gets too crazy you totally could but right now you can't because right now you're like almost one person

you guys are almost like one like well-spread out person. You just saved me so much money in therapy, I can't even tell you. I'm glad because I can't afford it. You guys are too good. It's too good. It's too good together. You guys are too good together. It wouldn't work like that with other people.

It would be different. It would probably be equally awesome for both of you but don't let it happen because what you guys have right now you've hit this whatever this thing is you got this ball of focus and experience and musical knowledge and love and it's all coming together with your own specific creativity and you guys are just and you're putting out these songs that are like whoa like they're not like they're they keep getting better like your shit keeps getting better like you have your old stuff was awesome and then your new stuff like grows and some you're putting layers on these things so look you gotta be friends you should do ecstasy every few months that's the move every like eight or months, just set a weekend aside where no one is going to touch their cell phone.

Just do a little Molly. You know what? That sounds like you're joking, but honestly, you said a lot of really beautiful things. And it's something that is nice to hear. Thank you for saying that. It's a weird life we live. Yes, it's fucking hard. there's a lot of instability and you know but like we it's funny like when we fight when we go to our separate corners and if it lasts a while like it's weird there's like a real darkness but

it's weird but it's also part of our dynamic you know and it's i think that's part of all what you're saying you know like it's all you can't exclude certain parts of it. And if you guys had some sort of a specific relationship, like if you were a brother and sister. It would be so much easier. We have the same parents. Those parents fucked, and they created us, and now we are children, and this is my cousin. This is my cousin Ben.

Yeah, his mom is my brother's sister, and that's why we're friends. But when you're family with someone who you're not really family with, like, I'm family with a lot of people, and not all of them are related to me. I'm family with a giant group of people. You guys are

clearly family. You guys are family. So whatever happens, you're always going to have to deal with that. It's not defined. You know what I'm saying? You're not husband and wife. You're not mother and son.

It's weird. You're not father and daughter. You're not brothers. What's the noise I need to make with my face that means you guys? And if you don't have that noise, oh, you guys aren't married? Wow, do you think he's ever going to come in? You know, people go through that kind of in relationships where they're like just what what noise do i have to make that changes your perception of what this is because what we have

to it has to be defined and then what the what what's the definition of a band of really really close friends that make awesome music together what is that what is that what is that you guys two wizards? A wizard and a witch? What the fuck are you? You travel all across the country together. Okay, what do I call you? What do I call you guys?

Are you guys accountants? Gandalf, Gandalf. What is it? Are you married? Is it a Mr. and Mrs.? No? Is it a non-gender specific designation of some sort of contractual agreement? What is it? What is it?

What is it? Oh, we're just in a band together and we love each other. What? What the fuck are you saying? Joe, you're like this angel man that came into our lives or something. I don't fucking know. And you guys to me. I remember the first time I watched your video,

when you guys did that Angel of Death acoustic version on the roof, I was like, whoa. That was a while ago. We've known each other a long time now what's the dude's name it was a crazy name that told me about it on the internet balls of steel still we don't know who that is he knows we don't even know if balls of steel is alive superhero he has this knowledge he's definitely alive i've had a few people you know that's one of the cooler things about being connected to people on social media they people, you know, that's one of the cooler things about being connected

to people on social media. They'll connect you with something that you probably never would have heard of before. Oh, that's amazing. And then, just for you guys,

we became friends, you know, in a strange way. So that's it. Yeah, it's been amazing, man. Weird, right? And it totally changed our band, honestly.

Like, it changed us from being, we can tour the country now honestly and it's this has been a huge part of it huge well this is the way i look at like all podcasts honestly it's like the idea of taking credit for the ocean when uh you accidentally stumbled upon an opening that turned something into a river like Like, that's like all, everything that everybody extracts out of what they find on the internet is essentially like you found a path,

you hit a button, you pull the lever, and a river opened. You know, it's a river of Honey Honey songs or Sturgill Simpson or Tom Segura or Joey Diaz. You're like some guy who's trying to take credit for the ocean because you figured out if you hit the switch, it opens and the river just runs into the villages. And then everybody finds out about Duncan Trussell. And you just keep hitting these switches.

And so I can't take any credit for it. All I did was stumble upon some switching station for all these super talented people. That's how I look at it. But it's a cool thing that you're looking for switching stations. Not even one. That's what's fucked up about it. Yes and no. You totally are.

It serves a pretty pertinent purpose for where we're at right now. It's pretty cool. And it's really great to witness the effects of what you do at the switching station when we're out on the road. And all these incredible, incredible fucking people that come out that just love you.

And really learn from the things that you say. Well, they love you guys too. Somebody had the flower honey honey shirt at one of my shows the other night. The grandma flower. I have that tattooed. You do? It's a grandma flower. Shazam.

You know what I mean? We're going to freeze frame that and jerk off. That's fucked up. To have that tattooed. You do? It's a grandma flower. Shazam. You know how many dudes are going to freeze frame that and jerk off? That's fucked up. To the end of time. Let's just move on. Just how it works. That is beautiful. That makes me feel funny. But kind of in a good way?

I don't know. I haven't decided. Make it good. Connection with nice people online is like one of the most promising hints at what's possible for the future like there's this idea that because online is anonymous and anonymous means you're always going to be mean that's not the case like you're always going to get a certain amount of people that are shitheads but those people quite honestly almost all of them they're damaged and hurt people who got fucked over in life and then they're trying to take out all that

on all these other people. I mean, that's the vast majority of what's going on. But the amount of noise per capita is so high amongst cunts. It's so hard, because most people don't post anything. Most people who think you guys are awesome, who've listened to this podcast, who've listened to your songs,

they don't say a word about it. They don't tweet about it. They'll come up to me at shows and they'll just tell me oh my god, thank you guys for introducing me to Honey Honey. Really? Yeah, all the time. That's fucking cool. All the time. That's awesome. They don't say, they don't ever say, you know, I tweet about them all the time. No, the

people that tweet about, they don't say like mean shit, or they just like. They're the freaks. They're the freaks. It's funny, when you talk about damaged people and stuff, we have this song called Bad People that like. I love that song.

Thanks man. But you know, it came from this fascination with like, why are people so mean? Why are people doing shitty things? Like why do you bust a car window and steal somebody's shit? Why do you? Because you need their shit. Well, that's one way, but why are you sinister?

Why are you poisoning the cats in my neighborhood? There's this fascination with where that fucking comes from. And we wrote that song and it was just kind of hanging out for a while. It was really thinking about it for a long time.

Just why? When do you turn? Were you born that way? Were you born into it? Because bad people come from nice families all the time. And incredible people come from fucking shitholes. They crawl out of a hole. But I don't know if there's any one answer to it.

All I can say is that there's a fascination with where it comes from i i don't know if there's any one answer to it but i i just all i can say is that there's a fascination with where it comes from i don't know but what do you think is more more common do you think it's more common for really nice people to come out of total shithole environments or for really nice families to have an asshole for a kid? I think that inspiration can hit someone at an incredible, like, phenomenal rate when you just don't even expect it. I think you can have information just, like, slammed upside your head in, like, an instant, and it could be the littlest thing. And I don't know. I know that privileged families, they have a comfort that unprivileged families don't have.

Right. And there's just a completely different perspective on need and hunger and emotional hunger. You could be emotionally starved in any scenario. You could be from a know what I mean? Yeah, I think experience shapes so much of who we are, you know, and you can have a bad experience in any context. It doesn't matter if you're, you know, what your, I don't know, your social status is. You can still have a bad experience, you know, and it can still shape you. And it's what do we value?

You know, we, I think think in general we have good values things to be excited about we value kindness and generosity and things like that so it's rare to to see someone i and i don't know if i necessarily believe it that someone who comes out of a series of good experiences just boom will do things unless there's serious psychological malfunctioning it's like you're going to treat people as a reflection of your environment for sure but i think i think we also have this need to say it's this or it's that you know it's it's a disease or it's uh it's his dna or it's it's never that clear cut and dry right i think there could be a lot of factors and

i think a lot of factors in your environment and especially your experience, they can kind of push your genes. They can push the expression of your genes, right? Yeah, you're fucking genetically predisposed to things that weren't

even taught to you. Like, you know, like your anger or your addiction or whatever. And, you know, I think at the end of the day, like everybody's got

their suitcase and we need to respect everybody's suitcase because like what might be a shitty day for me could be like the worst day for somebody or vice versa you know you never know what what someone's volume level of their their you know capacity for stuff is and and you got to respect that you know like i'm like oh man um i don't want to get but like i had a bad day with blah blah blah and like someone's, oh yeah, my father killed my sister.

You know, like you don't know. Damn. And that could be their first day. And I'm like, oh man, I thought my day was bad. But at the end of the day, like everyone has a different volume of what they're capable of experiencing. And if you're not capable of experiencing it, you'll die. You know, like you're just like, you have as much as you can take. And then if you can't take it, you're, like, that's what you're...

And even if you don't die, it's like, what are you? You know, what are you if you're not experiencing anything? Even if you're not dead. If you're just alone, silent, in a room. You're like that lady that killed all those people and then left her alone in the castle. But that was her suitcase, you know? Cemented up room. That was the suitcase she had to carry.

Yeah. If you're not experiencing anything, you're barely alive, though. That's one of the tricks of being a person. If you're not experiencing things, if you're not having ups and downs, re-evaluations. That's why you've got to go outside your comfort zone. Get weird. You don't have to. Go to Austin.

Don't do that. Don't buy one of those shirts. Keep it weird. Keep Austin weird. Keep Portland weird. Portland, I was going to say Portland. Oh, don't do it. And it's not your fault. If you were about to buy it, go on this fucking shirt rules.

I was going to buy it. But they've never seen it before. It's not your fault. Oh boy. Yeah, if you've never seen it before and if you're really young and you have a head injury, you can do that. I'm just kidding about the head injury. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. They've never seen it before. Yeah, if you've never seen it before and if you're really young and you have a head injury, you can do that. I'm just kidding about the head injury.

These are jokes. If you're a young person and you don't know how ridiculous it is to have a shirt on that says, Keep Austin Weird, it's the same font in every shirt and it pretends it's handwritten. Well, it evolved in a bad way. At one point, it meant something really important. Not really, because the people that were crying about keeping Portland weird were fake weird. All of them, every one of them.

They're all twats. But you love Austin so much. Yeah, but the real weird people, they shut the fuck up and stay weird. They stay weird. They don't fucking protest. They don't get together and make a Facebook page. Keep Austin weird.

Sign up here if you agree. Thumbs up or thumbs down. What's it going to be? It's a hipster's world, Joe. It's not. It's not. They're only here because of supermarkets.

Did you ever see the hipster trap? There would be no hipsters if they had to forage for their own food. None. Did you ever see it? It's a bear trap.

Supermarkets, you think? The hipster trap is a bear trap and in the middle is like a six pack of PBR, a pack of American Spirit Lights and like Ray-Bans. Okay, now. trap is a bear trap and in the middle is like a six pack of PBR, a pack of American Spirit lights, and like Ray-Bans. Okay, now they should do the same thing but with kale

and alkalized water. Veganic. Make sure it's veganic. And the Goodwill cowboy. Look, I love all those things. P.S. Love me a good thrift store cowboy snap button shirt. Well, I think the inclination behind being a hipster is good.

It's like they want to be above the stupid shit they see every day that's moronic and pedantic. Is that the word? No. Well, you know, if you want to get down to brass tacks. You didn't do it, did you? I sure did. You know, I'm really trying to embrace my Midwestern roots and just fucking go with it. Brass tacks?

No, brass tacks. I'm talking about the accent. But you're totally right. You already covered it. You make me want to get Fargo on Netflix. First of all, I'm not that far west. It's more like, oh my God, go Browns. It's not as like, don't you know. It's not like that. It's more eastern. It's a little less Canada, my God, go Browns. You know, it's just like, it's not as like, don't you know.

It's not like that. It's more Eastern. It's a little less Canada, a little more Rochester. It's a little less disgusting, a little more books. It's still not sexy. Let's call a spade a spade here. It's not that bad. If you can get them out of there, it becomes sexy.

It's like, oh, my God, Joe, you're so hot. That's not sexy. I got tired of teaching ballet. I got to get out of this fucking town. Next thing, she's on the rock and roll tour bus. Hanging out with her first black guy. Are you talking about me? No, no.

I brought her to sitcom. I was like, wait, I'm lost. Listen, we just did three fucking hours of a single song and that's not going to happen. We can't do that. So what we're going to do, since you guys are look, I know how you think no yeah so what we're gonna do since you guys are look I know how you think this is what we're gonna do this is no time for time we don't have to sing we could just do it we're gonna we're gonna take

a bathroom break yeah exactly see and then we'll come back and we'll do a second podcast will we talk way less shit did we do okay do you think we made a bunch of on fans let's quarter to seven though right yeah we got about 20 minutes right yeah okay we got 20 minutes but i think it'd be better if we did two different podcasts i think it's cool fair we should also talk about our tour right now we should definitely do that in both podcasts especially the ones where they get to see how good you guys are on the treadmill right now you fuck i've been running for two hours and 20 minutes i don't want to hear you talk oh joe rogan make them sing shit okay we can do this bad about this this is all

super positive that That's good. So we'll take a little pee break. We're going to take a pee break, and we're going to come back. And we're going to come back with a completely different podcast and a totally mellow vibe. We're going to do what Americans in 2015 called Hug It Out. Oh, shit, I love hugs. And we're going to prepare For the next hour The next hour we're just gonna have a good time

Alright so this is Bonus footage coming up I don't know how that's possible No it's not possible Bye bye