The Joe Rogan Experience - #708 - Steven Crowder

Episode Date: October 14, 2015

Steven Crowder is an actor, comedian and former contributor for the Fox News Channel. He currently runs his own website and also a podcast called "Louder With Crowder" available on Spotify. - http://louderwithcrowder.com/

So this is the first one ever live. It says offline. Let's see. There's probably a bit of a delay, right? Just like YouTube, or Ustream rather. It says starting. It says offline to me though. Say offline to you. Oh, here we go. Something's happening. I see a spinning wheel. Proud Mary keep on burning. Big wheel keep on turning. Nope. Yes.

Success. Steven Crowder, you are the first official broadcast streamed live on YouTube guest. That's not a good sign. It's a great sign. Why is that bad? Because of the monsters on YouTube? Yeah, you're going gonna get some monsters on YouTube Jufag makes appearances quite a bit when I appear. I'm not Jewish or gay

Someone call you a Jew fag all the time. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, you which is funny cuz I'm not Jewish or gay My brother and I did a video when YouTube had just started it was 2006 So I don't know if you remember there was a rash of really bad impression videos It would be like I'm gonna do a hundred impressions and it was some guy doing like Kermit the Frog, you know Cartoons are not impressions. You're just doing cartoon voices like a party of really bad impression videos. It would be like, I'm going to do 100 impressions and it was some guy doing like Kermit the Frog. Cartoons are not impressions. You're just doing cartoon voices like at a kid's party. And so I did one where I did these impressions

that were really mediocre. But my brother was my Ed McMahon and he was just laughing his ass off. He just thought it was hilarious. And then it goes on for like five minutes and then I do a pretty spot on Harrison Ford impression. My brother's like, you need to work on that one a little bit.

And so we have these, this is the new, YouTube was new, uncensored, and it's like, you're a Jew fag, and I hope you get AIDS from that Jew fag, not realizing he's my brother. My brother's not Jewish either. And there were people who hated it because they thought the impressions were awful. There were people who hated it because they got the joke, and they felt like they'd been shortchanged. And there were people who liked it because they got the joke,

and there were people who liked it because for some reason they thought the impressions were good and they were all fighting. And we were going, what is this? Monsters. Monsters. Tabbing into monsters. But you do realize that you're feeding those monsters by bringing up their actual name, like saying all that stuff.

Like you're giving them the attention that they so desperately seek. Is that like Poltergeist? Yes. You're feeding them? Yeah, it's like Candyman. Yeah, but there's also- Candyman. Candyman.

That's a horrible film. When you go back and watch it, it's not good at all. It's like one of those things you watch when you're a kid and you're scared and you go back and you're like, no, no, trust me, let's watch this.

You watch it with your girlfriend and you just wish you would've left it there. Yeah. Do you know what the one did that to me is Altered States. I didn't see Altered States. Oh, it was so- Well, it got me into Isolation Tanks.

I was fascinated by it, and that's what got me into it. It got me into John Lilly, the guy who the whole movie was actually based on this one guy. Yeah. Not obviously. He didn't really turn into a monkey. Do you remember the movie, the William Hurt movie? I don't remember the film. He got a hold of some crazy psychedelic brew from the Amazon jungle and took it and brought it back

to America and had these experiences where he regressed into some monkey beast thing and he went to the zoo and killed a bunch of animals. Yeah, like you had like the chains but when you, you know, I was watching it. That's the noise.

I mean, I probably was like 15 or something. I was like, is that Larry Flint came in. Is that Larry Flint? Trying to push his wheelchair. I watched it when I was like 15 or something like that. I was in high school. And I was like, whoa, this is so cool.

And then I watched it again when I was like 39. And I was like, oh, this is such a piece of shit. That happened with me like two weeks ago with my wife. And I feel ashamed. Ninja Turtles. Because I was up late and i'm on netflix i'm watching megan fox ninja this is terrible you know no you don't know ninja turtles because there it was at one point it was actually a good film and i take it back and i watch it i'm like well maybe let's try ninja turtles too and it just gets worse well you know the shit that's good when you're little and it's still good when you're little but when you're not little it's not good

Like I took my kids to see this. There's a show called wild kratz. Yeah. Well, I worked with PBS They'd come in every now and then oh, yeah, okay Then Arthur was my it's a very good show. The show is very good. Like yeah television show the live very terrible Oh, it's like a museum where you just see a video display kind of deal isn't it like that? No, it's worse than that. It's way worse than that. But meanwhile, my five-year-old fucking loved it. Like, I took her to see it. It was at the Pantages in Hollywood.

And they put on these suits. Like, in the show, there's this... What the show's about, it's an educational show for people who don't know, that is all about wildlife. And kids learn a lot of stuff. It used to be Zabuma-Fu. Zabuma-Fu? It used to be. Zabuma-Fu! There was a jumping of stuff. We see is it boom afoo With the Kratts brothers, yeah and

Nothing like an actual lemur no very inaccurate. Yes, they can be aggressive actual lemurs yes, actually, so, you know some kid went to the zoo Monkey on red wine and Xanax. But the show, like, my five-year-old learns all kinds of shit from it. Because, like, she'll say, you know, Daddy, did you know that alligators, or crocodiles I think it is, they decide whether or not they're male or female based on the temperature of the water. I'm like, fuck, is that true? And so I Google it.

I'm like, holy shit, my five-year-old just schooled me on crocodile, the gendered assignment. I think if we're being honest with ourselves, your five-year-old would probably school you on the difference between an alligator and a crocodile because I'm still murky on it. I'm pretty clear on that one. Every time I get, you know, I was like, oh, those crocodiles goes by the snouts. One of them is rounder, right? Alligators. I know Steve Irwin has a lot of respect for the American alligator. Steve Irwin did?

Yeah. He was a crocodile hunter, but I remember when he got around some gators, he was like, these guys are serious. Well, actually, alligators are not nearly as aggressive as crocodiles. Crocodiles are way more dangerous. That's factually inaccurate. It's the opposite. American alligators are smaller than crocodile, like Nile crocs.

Right. You know, these fucking douchebags. Some people have released Nile crocodiles in Florida. So they found a few of them in the Everglades. So they have a seek and destroy mission. Like if you see a Nile crocodile, like game wardens, everyone is supposed to kill it on sight. That happened in Michigan with those lamp rays. You ever seen those?

Yeah. And actually, as a matter of fact, I think you've done her show, Dana Lash and her husband, they were coming up to my wedding up there. Yeah. And he was like, I'm not going up there. They got lampreys in the lake. I'm like, they have no sharks. They have no stingrays.

You have lampreys. It's scary. It's got like a mouth full of teeth. They're cool. They're like aliens. Yeah, but they're not pleasant to be in the water with. But they've exterminated like, I think, 90-something percent of them. But it's that 10-something percent that you still have to

worry about up there in the Great Lakes. Yeah, well, there's a bunch of invasive species from other countries that they've done that with. Those Asian carp, that's one of them. If you haven't seen that, folks, you gotta Google it, because it's the craziest fucking thing. There's YouTube videos. For whatever reason, when you ride

boats, they jump out of the water, and they have knocked people dead. Like, knocked people out cold. They jump out of the water. Have people actually died from Asian carp? I bet people have died, because I know people have been knocked out cold. I know personally... Well, there's a lot of weight.

Oh, yeah, yeah. They're like 30 pounds, and they're fucking jumping in the air and hitting you in the head. Well, mako sharks will do that, you know. Really? Yeah, mako sharks can get... I mean, maybe you can bring it up. Like, I want to say 60 miles an hour or something absurd, and they'll go right into boats. Whoa. Yeah, Mako sharks can get I mean maybe you can bring it up like I want to say 60 miles an hour Something absurd and they'll go right into boats. Whoa yeah, Mako sharks, so they just slam in the boat But no no no they get on fishing boats. Yeah, they'll actually like there's going so fast

And I think they're coming for the bait you can find videos if you bring them up have you ever seen the video of the Kayakers that get fucking swamped by the whale the whale breaches red Moby Dick. No. This is a real one This is a real one. It's a real one. Yeah, they should get see if you can find by the whale. The whale breaches. I've read Moby Dick. No, this is a real one. This is a real one? It's a real one, yeah. See if you can find that. The whale swamps some kayakers. Yeah, these fucking poor fools are out in a kayak going, I love whales. It's amazing to be in this environment. When you're around nature, it just

makes you feel so wonderful. They care about us. They look at this fucking whale just whoa. Whoa. These poor fuckers. Well, I was in Florida. Watch this shit. Where do I go?

This way? This way? Anyone. It doesn't matter. Watch this. Oh my gosh. Kill them all. Oh, you fucked up, son.

Kill them all. That's one thing I talked about. I remember. And I got someone really mad in standup a bit about sharks. I was like. Watch this. Watch this. It close up. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh gosh. I remember, and I got someone really mad in stand-up a bit about sharks. I was like, what's this? What's this? It close up.

Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, gosh. I mean, that's got away. What? 10,000 pounds? Were they dead or did they just kind of move with it because it's water? I mean, if that happened to land, you're dead. Yeah.

I would assume they just move with it. I mean, they probably got fucked. The real scary thing is if you get knocked unconscious by the blow and then you go, look at, that's the impact of it. Oh my gosh. Fucker. What is it, a hunchback? What do we know?

I don't know. Oh, it looks like they're okay. Have you ever seen whales in real life? Oh, there they are. They're fine. I've seen dolphins. I don't think I've seen whales. I've seen whales.

I went on one of the things, my daughter had this school thing where you go over to Zuma, Zuma Beach, like somewhere around November, I think. They start, and it's, you don't even believe what you're seeing. Right. You see them in theuma, Zuma Beach, like somewhere around November, I think, they start, and it's, you don't even believe what you're seeing. Right. Like, you see them in the water,

you're like, that's a fucking, that's a real whale? Yeah. Like, you see them, and you're like, oh my, I guess it's like when you see them on TV, you go, yeah, they're big, I get it. But when you see them in real life,

and you get a perspective, you're like, oh my God, they're just living out there. Well, it's like Lena Dunham. You see her in the pictures, and you know it's bad And then you see her in context next to someone I see what you just did you see what I did there It's okay. She blocked me quickly without me ever even tweeting her one thing I will say we were in Florida blocked you because of that video that you made is that what it was no she bought me Long before that video really I get blocked by people before I even talk to them. I do too

Sometimes I'm proud of it. Well, a lot of them are comedians too. Comedians block you? Get the fuck out of here. What comedians have blocked you? Amy Schumer, Mark Maron. I never tweeted them. What?

Amy Schumer and I got in an argument on Fox News a long time ago. About what? About a column I wrote and we got into it and I was like, okay. And it was actually pretty respectful, but it happens with a lot of comedians, a lot of comics. Well, what was the column about? The column was about how, as a Christian, how I wasn't having sex, and wrote about sort of the case for Christians who maybe aren't crazy, who wait until they're married, and she's like, I feel like it's really judgmental and really harsh.

And I was like, okay, well, that's fine. This is my case, and you don't have to do it. She got really, really mad about it. You know, what's interesting is if is my case and you don't have to do it. She got really really mad about it You know, what's interesting is if you were like a tantric Buddhist, that's exactly what I said Did you really say that? I talked about that cuz and right away off-air the first thing and it's the same thing with with Marin who I you know I like Is where do you do come? You're not part of our Club. Are you a comedian? He does that though. He did that with me He's got this weird thing right before

she goes she goes well where do you perform stand-up you perform in the city and this point i was living in new york i was like no she goes where do you perform like you're christian like churches and i said no actually but that sounded like a great idea so then after that i started calling up churches like do you do stand-up and there was one that responded yes um and then i was they complained and i never did another church again because I had like I had a whole bit about not having sex and the bit I wrote

was that it's the final taboo like I can go up and be as profane as possible right and I follow comedians or I'll go up and it's filthy

and my act is very politically incorrect like I've been banned from places but it's not dirty and I said then I go up and talk about

not having sex and everyone gets so uncomfortable the church problem was that I talked about having a raging erection for four years where my family had to lift the furniture like a great Dane's tale. So the church has had a problem with it.

So you did this for years? You didn't have sex? Yeah, for years. Why did you do that? Because I didn't want to be a hypocrite. In what way? Well, as someone who is a Christian, I don't really talk about it a lot, but I was like, you know what? I don't want to be a target that easily

as far as being a hypocrite. And that's why I did it. So sex, like, there's a lot of really... We got right off the bat. Yeah, because this is a wacky subject. You know, like, as a discipline, like, there's some beautiful things about Christianity as a discipline, but

the problem is, as a practice, if you really pay attention to the scriptures themselves, it's so problematic. There's so many contradictions, there's so much crazy shit in there. Are you going on the Old Testament? Well, if that's the case, you're talking about some really nutty shit. If you're going on the

New Testament, you're talking about some... But you know what I'm saying. The New Testament, you're talking about things that were created by Constantine, a bunch of, you know, the canon was really manufactured. I understand. The New Testament. You're talking about things that were created by Constantine. Right. A bunch of, you know, the canon was really manufactured. He wasn't even a Christian. Here's my issue.

He was on his deathbed. I don't talk about it a lot. I'll write about it because it's a big part of what defines me. Like we had Harrison Greenbaum on and, you know, Norm MacDonald. Harrison Greenbaum went up and he did this bit about, you know, someone read me a scripture from a book, you know, on the bus. And I said, well, if you get to quote your favorite book, I get to quote mine. Harry Potter, bitch. And he came on and he was really, who is

he? Harrison Greenbaum. He's on the last comic standing. Oh, I didn't watch it. Anyways, he was on the show. He claimed, he said he knew you and I had him on. He was really mad that I wrote gay comic gets, uh, sort of shafted by norm. And he was like, he was like, well, you know, first off, you use gay pejoratively. I said, yes. He goes, well, okay, so you know what that means? I said, sure. You're a comedian, right? Like, why is that a problem?

He goes, well, you know, first off, you just didn't use it pejoratively, and you didn't even ask me. I said, well, are you gay? He goes, no. Oh, come on. And I said, okay, I'll take your word for it, but I don't believe you. But let's just continue with the interview. And we went on. And then afterwards, I was like, you know, the fact is, even if you're not gay, you make this Christian joke, but you don't touch Islam at all. And I know you claim you're straight, but they would throw you off a roof for your lisp.

And the thing with Norm was he went on, he did this bit about the Bible, and you have Roseanne Barr on Last Comic Standing. And my commentary was just that Norm said, you know, I didn't think it was accurate. I didn't think it was funny at all. I didn't think it was risky. I didn't think it was funny at all. I didn't think it was risky. I thought it was very safe. And if you're going to insult an entire group of people who know about the faith, you should probably know what you're talking about. That was it. Right. And he was so upset. And he was going, well, the audience was actually booing Norm. And

I go, well, you're missing the point of the piece. It's that everyone was upset at Norm saying that. And Roseanne Barr is telling her, that that some risky shit when he'd made a Bible joke and Norm Was just pointing out. It's really not that risky. Well. What was the joke do you remember it was a quick guy quoting scriptry? So like it's my favorite Harry Potter bitch. Yeah, that's something he's not gay Well, he's gay as fuck if he's if he sounds anything like your voice. It's what is his name? Can I look at Harrison Greenbaum pull him up You're going to bring up our interview with him. I will tell you by looking. I have that gift.

That's true, Gaydar. I got that gift from Jesus. Wait, did you look at him? I can look and tell someone and find out if they're gay. Well, that's not Gaydar. Because that's a gift. It's a biblical gift or a divine gift. My friend David Pride says that's homo vision.

Well, he should go on TV and say that. Yeah, he'll do well. Okay, that guy's not gay? Well, he can't go by a picture. Yes, I can. Just like that. The sweater with the white shirt underneath the sweater. That's not fair.

He's a nice guy. To be fair, I was making the point. It's nothing wrong with being gay. I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay. My point was he got mad, and he didn't want me to take him out of context. So I said, okay, we'll do a pre-tape. We have to do two segments for Aaron. We did like a three hour thing on it.

Where was this interview being held? It was my show. Oh, your show. Okay. So he came on your show. Yeah. All right. I'm going to slip in a request for you to go on.

You can obviously say no. No, I'd do it. Sure. We go terrestrially. Actually, we're going into syndication here with Alex Jones's same guys at Genesis. Doesn't mean I agree with Alex and a whole bunch. So we kind of have the show that's syndicated terrestrially, and then we do extended versions for the podcast.

So we're kind of bridging that gap. Well, Alex is the exact opposite of you in the sense of Alex is not having sex for any reason whatsoever. I'm married, though. Alex is great. He's a fucking whatsoever. I'm married, though. Alex is great. He's a fucking animal. He's a crazy dude. People go, why are you friends with Alex Jones?

I go, I'm friends with Alex Jones because I'm friends with Alex Jones. Right. What you're getting is Alex Jones on Infowars.com. What they're doing right now is trying to take away life. They want to wipe out America.

Do you do impressions in your act or do you find it hard to bring him in? I very rarely do. It feels hack to bring him in in stand-up, usually, doesn't it? Well, unless there's a reason to do it. Right. Like, if I have to do a Mike Tyson bit, if there's something happens to Mike Tyson... I've heard of Mike Tyson. ...and I've got a bit that...

Well, you saw it from, like, 1991. There's something that's online. But if there's a reason to do a voice i'll do it right you know like if i had a bill cosby bit yeah i would do bill cosby's voice we do what we do on the podcast so we do fake commercials we like dating advice with bill cosby minute news minute with uh in a nick of time with nick nolte so it's like the internet is actually it's funny we're talking about this when stand-up when i started stand-up i started acting actually when i was 12 and then i did stand-up because the unions killed the industry in Montreal. There was just no more film coming into the city. You know,

they used to shoot a ton of stuff in Montreal. Now, not so much. And so I was in my teens and I had been writing stand-up for years for like school talent shows. Like, I think this would be funny because I grew up around it. And I thought it was so freeing to do it. And then it's kind of turned, like you were talking about this PC culture where I think, and I was sort of wrong in a sense. I was like, these kids online, they're not, they're not comedians. They don't know what it's like. But I think about it, you know, that's what the Marx brothers would have said of standup. It's just an evolution of comedy. And you can't do standup in your bedroom, but you can do YouTube in your bedroom. And so you look like at Nicole Arbor, this thing, I don't know if you saw,

she was the fat shaming thing. And I didn't think it was particularly funny, but I defended her right to say it. But I was saying, it doesn't matter if she's funny or not because people will always attack you for not being funny. They're not going to say that's offensive, you can't say it. They'll say, well, I just you're just not funny, so you shouldn't be able to say that. And PC, you know, the PC culture has really permeated stand-up

in a way that's, I mean, it happened in Canada years ago. People don't realize, freedom of speech doesn't really exist in Canada. It's not a legally protected right. Well, you know about the guy in Vancouver who literally got sued and lost because he had some woman heckling him and he said a bunch of mean shit to her. And so

he, whatever human rights violation, I forget what the actual citation was, but he has to pay her like $15,000. Well, there's a pastor, Stephen Boisson, who said he wouldn't marry two guys and spoke out against it and wasn't hateful. You know, everyone loves to paint the pastors, the Southern Priests, damn homos. And he was just like, well, listen, that's not going to happen in my church.

And he was actually banned from public speaking, lost his church, had to file an appeal. And so that's where when I talk with people about it, you know, I think. He was banned from public speaking by saying that he doesn't want to marry two gay guys. And saying it's still against God's, you know, whatever his deal is. Whether you agree with it or not, that's my point. It's still not okay to ban a guy from even having a church. I mean, Westboro Baptists have 12

people, nine of whom are the guy's family. They get so much press time. Meanwhile, we have over 300 million Muslims who want you to die for converting. And we're talking about the Westboro Baptists because they use the F word. Well, it's fun. It is fun. That's one of the reasons why the Westboro Baptist Church.

I mean, that guy, Phelps, was so fucking nuts. He was so out of his mind. Did you ever see the Louis Theroux documentary? Yeah, I did. Were they asking if he was Jewish? Holy shit. He's like, well, I don't think it should matter. But are you Jew?

I'm not saying I am Jewish, but I don't understand why that's not relevant. Are you Jew? That was all they, it was like the guy on YouTube. And they were doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Do you remember that? I don't remember that. Yeah, the white supremacists. Why do I not remember that?

They were training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. And I was like, do you not see the irony? They were training MMA, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and I was like do you not see the irony? They were training MMA Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. They um the yeah, we know wait no I'm thinking of a different one with Theroux on white supremacy Oh, he did a white supremacist one I didn't see that one. And they were like training up their gang and they were doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. That, well that's pretty ironic Brazilians are not white you fuck. Well, they kind of are some of them are. Well, they're the most racist people on the planet. Brazilians? Oh my god. Well, I wouldn't say they're racist what I would say is that they're nationalistic

They're very nationalistic But but they're but they're not in the sense because there's like half the country's black Like half the country is is like well I don't know if you really sort of not to get into your wheelhouse But like the the Vitor Belfort Anderson Silva thing sort of, not to get into your wheelhouse, but like the Vitor Belfort, Anderson Silva thing. If you look at a lot of the stuff,

like on the Brazilian message boards that people were saying, it was really like this sort of coming up of this black class in Brazil, where if you were black, you worked at McDonald's, you just weren't considered a first-class citizen among a lot of the pure Brazilians. People don't even understand about Che Guevara in Cuba, same kind of thing.

You know, I saw a kid wearing a Che Guevara shirt. I go, well, why don't you just wear a Hitler shirt? Well, what do you mean? He believed in pure European Spanish blood and executed people for not being that. And in Brazil, there really is a class structure. I mean, my Brazilian instructor, I won't say who, I've had several,

was quite racist. And he was like, oh, here in America, you complain for the fights. The guy is white, black. In Brazil, he's like, oh man, here in America, you can play for the fights. The guy is white, black. In Brazil, he's not even give time of day. That's weird

because Jacare is like a Brazilian national hero and he's black. Yeah, but they're outliers. What about Pele, the soccer player? He was a Brazilian national hero.

He's black. My evidence is anecdotal, Joe. I don't know. Yeah. No, it is true. I've been to Brazil many times. I just don't see that.

I mean, I might be wrong. You know, there was a huge issue with Anderson Silva when he fought Damian Maia. Yeah. And, you know. He was a sort of bourgeoisie class. Damian Maia had college. He was a reporter. He called him a playboy.

Yeah. You know, and playboy is like one of the ways that they, that's the pejorative they use for rich, privileged white people. You know, playboy. That's a Brazilian saying. Check your privilege. Check your privilege, my friend. My friend.

I check for you. I don't know. I would have to, I never actually asked my Brazilian friends whether or not Brazil's racist, but I didn't experience it that much when I was there. They seem real friendly. It's a very, very friendly friendly country other than your job and stuff that you have to understand like like you know success has changed who how people treat you're very successful you're a victim of your own success in the sense that in a sense i came in

here nervous well they also know that i'm a brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt so i i practice brazilian arts you know so i have a big deep respect for Brazil right and then a big deep respect for of course the Gracie family I mean I'm wearing a fucking Gracie t-shirt yeah I know

the Gracie family you look good in it not gay thank you not gay not gay either Harry Potter batch it is weird though

that like there's not a straight voice you know but there's a gay voice well yeah and what's so fun it's like you say that my wife had a friend. I won't talk about it. Talk about it.

You don't have to name names. It was clearly gay. Oh, I got to go like that. Like clearly gay to the point where when he was gone, I would call him gay blank because I know it's such a common name. My wife is just free. I'm going to get a text right now. Oh, so she's like, I was out with so-and-so and I'm like gay so-and-so because I know

five of them. You know, it's just like, it's like a name right now oh so she's like I was out with so-and-so and I'm like gay so-and-so cuz I know five of them you know it's just like it's like a name like John it's not John okay he's not gay okay first off let me clarify the rules if he's not gay you can't go out with him alone until 1 in the morning okay he's gay so and then he sure enough he like came out of the closet. Shocker. Well, here's the thing. When a guy like that, and I mean literally, he's the kind of gay guy who literally, like Richard Simmons would be like, that's kind of severe.

Like really gay. And when he came out of the closet, I told my wife, I said, okay, here's what's going on. What he's really saying is stuff's about to get weird. You're going to find some Grindr profiles because everyone knew he was gay. And then all of a sudden it's just a revolving door of boyfriends and it's like it's more uncomfortable for my wife. It's more comfortable for me because I had to keep

this lie alive like, hey, you go on any dates with females lately, Gabe? Like now, you know, and he dated a girl for a while. And I remember just sitting there like, what bunny hole did I jump into where I'm sitting at dinner with my wife and gay blank with this girl and they're clearly just faking it. And I was like, I just rather.

Was the girl faking it or did she think that maybe he was straight? That's the million dollar question. I have a friend, my friend Shay Mitosh, she's a stand up comedian. She's married not one, but two different guys that turned out to be gay. Like she married him. At a certain point it's you well i don't know if it's her i mean i don't know what the fuck it is she seems so normal though i mean she's a comic she's kind of crazy but she's nice she's she seems totally normal i've not met a bunch of stable female comedians i know a few well it's weird because it's like in my world, you know, like in my world,

in the world of standup. In my world, Sonny, my patriarchal world. The sun sets on the west and rises in the east. It actually does that, right? Yeah. That was accurate. Yeah, it was accurate. My world's boring, frankly. But the world of stand-up comics, it's a fraternity. I'm friends with girls who are open micers. I'm friends with, especially from Kill Tony, which is one of my friend Red Band and Tony Hinchcliffe's shows, where we constantly are around these open micro kids that are coming up. And we become friends with them, and a lot of them are out of their fucking mind.

They're crazy. But they're friends. You know, in my world, that's just the mindset that it takes to be a comedian. You have to be a little bit fucking crazy. Yeah, I think that's true. I just think so. So Shama is no different than any of my other friends in that sense, but somehow or another she wound up with two fucking gay guys.

And the last time I talked to her... I don't think that story goes somehow or another. I think there's a reason in there. I think in her mind it's somehow or another, she wound up with two fucking gay guys. And the last time I talked to her. I don't think that story goes somehow or another. I think there's a reason in there. I think in her mind it's somehow or another. She's like, what the fuck? But, you know, she's dated straight guys. She dated one of my buddies. I mean, you know, it's not that. I don't know what the fuck it is.

But she dated one guy. And then she found out somehow or another he was gay. And then she dated another guy that was like a male stripper, I think. And somehow or another he was doing some gay shit. Well, there you go. It's kind of like the talent pool with college sports. You're picking the guy with the highest vertical. She's drawn from the pool of the male strippers and the guys who are, you know, pay for gay bodybuilders.

That's what's going to happen. Pay for gay bodybuilders. Gay for pay. Did I say pay for? Well, it depends on who's doing the paying. Joe Weider with Arnold. He's the one who's paying for the gay. Is that true?

I have no idea. Joe Weider was gay? I don't want to be slandered. Please stop. Is that what you heard? You heard Joe Weider paid Arnold? I didn't hear that. I heard that Arnold did some gay shit back in the day.

I could be completely off base. Well, I've talked about it on the podcast. I had a buddy who was a male stripper. Two buddies. Way back in the podcast. I had a buddy who was a male stripper. Two buddies. Way back in the day. He would wear these underwear that was like an elephant underwear and he put his

hog in the trunk. I love how you combine hog with elephant. It's one animal or another. It's actually like a delicacy, really. The guy was really fucking weird. Then one day, he was talking about all these girls that he's dancing for. And I go, you ever have to dance for guys? And there's this fucking dead silence in the room.

And everybody's like, oh, shit. That's the line he wants to keep alive. He said it. He asked the question. And then shit got weird when he started explaining how he had to sometimes. But he hated it. When I moved to L.A., there was work. And it was cleaning I was when I moved to LA I was talking to Tony Camacho was my manager and um I was living out

of a car for a bit and when I say it's kind of like the Ronda Rouse it was like a week and I was just sort of couch surfing until I got to my next place so it's not like I was a long-time hobo right and actually got a 24-hour fitness pass for like a week, so I was fine. I don't even know how I was getting started. Something about... Oh, when I first came to LA, yeah, there was a role in Craigslist, and it was like cleaning houses in your underwear. So it was like no contact, but you're just cleaning houses in your underwear. It was like $150 an hour or something like that.

No, no, wait. It was $50 an hour for a minimum of three-hour pay because it assumed... I lost something under the couch. Yes. Well, my dad had that. He mowed lawns and the guy at an Indian village in Detroit and he would. My dad can maybe text me the name of this guy. And he said the guy was like, but he wasn't flamboyantly gay.

He was very polite. Like, well, you know, Darren, you're a good looking young man. You and your brother, Dean, you should as you mow lawn, you know, feel free. It's hot here in the summer to take off your shirts and wear something a little bit shorter. And it's entirely, you know, if you want to take a dip in the pool, go ahead. Oh, boy. But he was very, very nice. He had a long-term partner.

And, you know, I think a lot of them got massacred in Detroit. I don't think they live in that area anymore. Really? Got massacred? Well, I just mean Detroit. Sounds like they're Indians. Some sort of fucking Native American war. Indigenous, Joe.

They came over and stole their land. Get your stuff together, indigenous. You can't say Indian anymore? Is that a... No, no, you not only can't say Indian. We moved on to Native American, and now we've moved on to indigenous. Well, in Canada, it's indigenous, right? First Nation?

Is that what they say? I don't know what they say. I think they say First Nation. I left Canada. Well, it used to be... Well, everybody called people Eskimo, and then... No, you can't do that. You can't, but in Alaska,

they use the word Eskimo. Like, it's okay. Alaska, it's okay. It's weird. This is the problem with the lexicon and the changing rules. Well, it's when people get ultra super fucking sensitive and shit gets weird. Like, there's things you used to say for the longest time, and now you can't say them anymore. Yeah, well, and that's where, you know, you're more in the middle. I'm, you know, people would

say to the right of Attila the Hun, like libertarian conservative. And that's by design. That's not an accident. People want to control language. If you look at the history of political correctness, it is designed as a political tool. And I see these people awakening now, like the social justice warrior left. Well, all they're doing is doing the same thing to, maybe they're not doing it to you, but to people like Milo, to people out there who are liberal, the same thing they've done to me and every conservative for a long time. Just, you're a racist.

You're a sexist. Perfect example is Ben Carson. You may not like him. People may not like him, right? But Ben Carson was a neurosurgeon. Not just a neurosurgeon. He was a fucking wizard. And he's probably the most polite

candidate we've had in 40 years. I don't think anyone would dispute that. He's a very polite guy. What do they do? They paint him as a dumb ass bigot. Well, he believes some crazy shit. Some crazy stuff. Yeah. But I would hope that people afford him, you know, for example, like my dad is Christian conservative, right?

But he sends your stuff along. And now he could easily be like, oh, you know, he'll just tell him like, I'll skip through the edible mushroom stuff and the tattoos because he doesn't agree with it. But like Joe is really right on this, the part about dying to ego every day in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and he'll send it along to people. This is really inspirational. In my family, we've never had to paint someone as an idiot because of some opinions with which we don't agree. You may think Ben Carson believes some crazy stuff, but he's a smart guy and he's not a bigot. Well, what I find fascinating about him is the people that do compartmentalize certain aspects of life, like that he does ignore science when it comes to evolution. And he believes in macroevolution, but he doesn't believe in microevolution, I believe. The other way around.

Micro, but not macro. macro evolution but he doesn't believe in micro evolution i believe the other way around micro but not macro but he's got some interesting ideas about what he believes and what he doesn't believe in that the world of science accepts as a stated fact the people that are experts in that but i know a lot of people say oh he's this six thousand year old young earth creationist you know and he said no i'm not he just said he has flaws in the Big Bang, and he believes in a Big Bang, just a different version of it. Well, the Big Bang... But I don't think some guy in a Reddit thread in his mother's basement with a bag of Cheetos has figured

something out that Ben Carson hasn't. You asked me about like the Christian thing. Well, you just diminished a person from Reddit. You just put them in their basement. Maybe they have a nice apartment. Well, you get some of those. You get a weird intersection here. You get smart people who listen to your show, but you do get some closed-minded people.

And you... My thing is, you know, the reason I don't talk about faith or like Donald Trump is because there are certain things or people they're just not going to hear it. Here's my position on religion and atheism, and I don't think it's an untenable position. And it's pretty simple. I believe there are very smart atheists

and I believe that there are some very smart Christians. That's undeniable. It's undeniable. Yeah. But the thing is now, the reason atheists are so fun to tease and get them up in a lathers because they think that all of these brilliant people and 3 billion people on the face of the earth have missed something that they caught because they saw half of a Christopher Hitchens debate. And if you sit down with Ben Carson, these kids calling him an idiot and talking about how he doesn't know science, they would sit down and he'd probably school them.

They may not agree with him, but he'd probably school them. And my problem is taking things out of context. He's not even my guy. Well, you see, the problem is you're talking about Ben Carson versus some kids that don't know what they're talking about.

Bernie Sanders or Hillary or O'Malley. But what they're comparing Ben Carson to is people that do know what they're talking about. So if you do get people that have a vast understanding of evolution and they sit down and debate Ben Carson, he's not going to do very well. I don't know. I've not seen it. I would think probably not, but I don't think he would put himself in that position. The Big Bang is the weird one because the Big Bang, essentially, no one understands why it happened.

No one understands what caused it. No one understands if it's just some cycle that goes on every 14 billion years. He's writing a book on it. Who is? Ben Carson? On the Big Bang? On explaining his reasoning. Oh, that's interesting. Well, what is his reasoning? Do you know what his position is? I don't know exactly what his position is.

It doesn't reflect my position. But I don't think that that disqualifies him from being a better leader than a lot of people on the docket. I mean, did you watch the debates last night? No, I did not. There was literally a point where all the biggest argument, and that's the thing that I have. If you look at the right, I mean, you're moderate. You would be considered to any leftist if you said the stuff they say, they'd be like, oh, you're right wing. That's what they would say. Not you. That's what they would say. Let's compare really quickly. Right now, the GOP, right? People, it's a party of old white guys.

Okay. You've got Carly Fiorina. You've got two Latinos and Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio. You've got a brain surgeon and a black guy. Ted Cruz is barely Latino. How dare you? He's gay, by the way. For sure.

100%. He also is probably one of the smartest students to come out of Harvard, according to his professors, with an IQ that's higher than Mets. Because he blew them all, so they say that. Yeah, that must be it. That's what happened. That and chemtrails. So you have them, Ben Carson.

You have people who are career politicians. You have people with no experience in the political sector. And then I'm watching last night Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, O'Malley, and a couple of other scrubs. Every single one is an old white politician. And the worst part is the lack of intellectual diversity. Look at the GOP debate. You have Rand Paul, who's a non-interventionist, basically. He was all about that cannabis oil.

You have Chris Christie, who basically wants to prosecute using drugs. You have Carly Fiorina, who believes it's the state's right. You have some people who supported the war in Iraq. You have some people who were against it. Every single question last night at that Democratic debate was answered in unison. And the biggest argument was over who had the lowest rating from the NRA. They were attacking Bernie Sanders going, keep in mind, you only have a D minus from the NRA. I got an F! I got an F! Is that really what they were arguing about? Yes. Who said that? It was O'Malley, Sanders, and Clinton. All of them were arguing over who got

the lowest rating of the NRA. That was their badge of honor. You only got a D minus. I got an F. I was like, what is this? That's interesting because I did see an interview. I wanted to get to the debate later today. I didn't watch it yesterday. I had some stuff I had to do that was actually important. But Bernie Sanders was talking.

Just joking around. Look, this is a real problem with the Commission for Presidential Debates. A real problem with the fact that it's, when it gets down to the big crunch time, the Commission for Presidential Debates is a privately funded institution. It's not as simple as, like, everyone who's running for president gets an equal say, and we have all these qualified candidates, and we're just going to figure out who's the right guy for the job. It takes a shitload of money to get to the point where you can actually run for a debate. When you actually can get up there and actually have your opinion and broadcast it to the world.

There's a lot of fucking hoops you have to jump through. Probably rightly so. There's some value in that, yeah. But I think that as time moves on and the medium of the internet becomes more and more powerful, most likely that will be less of a factor. Having Anderson Cooper with his goofy glasses asking questions about whether or not it's okay to be a conscientious objector and still run for president. Yeah. You know, which is one of the things that apparently he asked Bernie Sanders, which I thought was fascinating.

Well, I got in trouble. Do black lives matter? Or do all lives matter? That one, I was like, okay. Black lives matter! Well, that's what Bernie said. Well, fucking, of course all lives matter. That one, I was like, okay. Black lives matter! Well, that's what Bernie said. Well, fucking, of course all lives matter. That's a loaded question, and it's a stupid question to answer.

They should say, that's a loaded question, and I'm not going to answer it. Of course all lives matter. I understand the movement, and I think A, B, and C about it. Yes, I agree with you. That's the right way to say it. But he said black lives matter, because that's the progressive left wing thing to say, because you're not going to get shit from white people about it, but you'll get a lot of brownie points from black people.

You might get crap from Sean King, who's a white guy about it. Sean King is a white guy, isn't he? Well, I was kicked out of that feminist film festival for saying he was white. They have rubber-titted, tranny, menstruating Jesus Christ. I saw that. And I've got, like, it doesn't bother, I find it funny, but they're triggered by me saying Sean King is white. That was one of my favorite videos of yours.

That was a really, that and the Lena Dunham video. But that video particularly of you with the feminists, because first of all, you're being very reasonable. And they got upset right away. Like, they were getting upset. Like, you weren't being aggressive. You weren't being rude. You were asking, like, really pretty reasonable questions.

And, you know, they're like, you have to leave. Full disclosure, I was being a disturber. I don't deny that. A little bit. You selectively edited it. Anything you've ever watched is edited. Well, what are you going to do? Put all fucking three hours of whatever the fuck you were there on?

Well, that's what James O'Keefe or Andrew Breitbart of the Planned Parenthood videos do because they're journalists. What I do is entertainment. But they'll actually put up the full footage. See, I don't know what the fuck those Planned Parenthood videos do because they're journalists. What I do is entertainment. But they'll actually put up the full footage. See, I don't know what the fuck those Planned Parenthood videos... I didn't... I watched part of it and I was like, is this real? Like, what's going on with this? Yeah. Are these people really talking like this about...

Yeah, you can watch the full footage. You can watch three, four hours. And the big thing they attack, you know, and Carly Fiorina for talking about it, they go, well, it didn't really happen in the video. Listen, she has 30 seconds. She's talking about pieces in the video that you can see and she sets it in a narrative that she can answer in 30 seconds. And they go, well, all those things didn't happen in that timeline in a video. Well, educate me because were they or were they not saying that we can get you intact fetuses and that we can- They were selling fetus

parts. Yeah. So they were, right? So why is everybody saying that it's a hoax? Well, why did they say the same thing with Andrew Breitbart, the acorn scandal? Well that it's a hoax. Well, why did they say the same thing, you know with with Andrew Breitbart? The acorn scandal well, let's not get into that. Well, no, it's important. They attacked the messenger That's what they do. The acorn scandal was pretty fucking clear. They were they were literally giving people Advice on how to give it the left said the exact same station the exact same thing They said it's dishonest These are selectively edited and their final argument was when James O'Keefe appeared. And I'm not a journalist, so I just make it clear.

That's why I don't release full. It's designed to be funny. It's more in line with The Daily Show than something at Fox News or CNN. Right. James O'Keefe went on Fox and Friends in a pimp jacket, like promoting the videos. And their argument was he didn't go in dressed like a pimp in her dress. They said they were pimps and prostitutes, but they didn't dress like that How do you tell me I've been for a prostitute dresses because I bet you're wrong in the black last man

He will get mad at me listen man. I was dressed like Ben Carson I was in Vegas I was in Vegas once and I was with a couple of my buddies and we were at this bar and it was a UFC night It was a the night of the weigh-ins So we went to the weigh-ins and we were at the bar and there was this girl who looked like a fucking executive at a Fortune 500 company. I mean, she had a respectable business dress on. She had nice clothes on, a nice purse.

And she was talking to me and all my friends and I was like, something is fucking going on here. And then, I don't know what it was was but my friends were hitting on her and all this and she was just a little too receptive and I said so I it was just my friends were ugly it was that's what I say you have low confidence in your friends well they're savages okay you know I mean maybe she just wants to get gorilla fucked by a bunch of a bunch of savages but um but I was like something's going on here so I go um how much is all this going to cost everybody and she goes well it depends how many guys and they all went yeah and i i go yeah and

then they went how'd you know and i go well i'm i'm i'm guessing some insincerity here she's working you're working right and she goes yeah i'm working you know and i go okay and so and then they were like damn yeah i go you thought she liked you and then everybody starts laughing I go well if you look at her she looks like she could be an executive for like a Mandalay Bay Like she could be there like is everybody enjoying their stay here in Mandalay Bay anybody want their cock sucked for a thousand dollars I mean it was like you're gonna pick up on that growing up in Montreal like I did. Oh really? Well, I mean it's everywhere. Well, how do they dress? Well, I mean, usually when someone approaches you.

No, I can't tell how they dress. I'm not talking about pimps or prostitutes. I'm saying the guy went out in a giant feathered purple coat and a fedora on the show and a cane as a gag, right? That's like pimps up, hoes down. Right. And so the left goes, well, he didn't do that in the acorn video, so this is misleading. Okay, so what is the argument against the Planned Parenthood video? What are they saying?

They're doing something that's illegal. In recording. Which is selling baby parts. Right, right. But what is the argument against the video, I'm saying? That they selectively edited it. So they said they selectively edited it, and then it didn't appear in the video. And then when the full video footage was released, the arguments that I saw was, well, no one's going to watch 12 hours of footage.

I mean, that happened with me one time with the union incident. Well, 12 hours is not that much if you want to get to the truth of something that's really important. Right. Yeah, but that's the whole point. So if you selectively edit it, they say you edited it. If you put up the full footage, like, well, you're hiding behind the fact that you know no one's going to watch that. Okay, but if someone does watch the full 12 hours, does it appear like it did in the edited video because i watched the edited video yeah and i thought like whoa this is kind of crazy they're talking about it like how did she describe it as like line items yes and i

was like fuck man that seems like really inhuman you're talking about fetus parts and that they can adjust their process in order to get more intact video and then the other really fucking disturbing thing about the video was when they reach into the pile of baby parts and they're pulling out arms and they're literally pulling you see little baby arms like and I'm pro-choice I think you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want up to a point And I think it's one of those things in life that there is a gray area And I think I'm pro-choice if it's a bunch of cells. I'm pro-choice if it's, you know, a cluster of cells the size of a walnut.

But I think once it becomes a fucking human being, like you're looking at a little tiny human being that's inside someone's body. I don't know what the call is. I don't know what you can say. Well, the legislation is they want to have abortions up to 22 weeks. What is 22 weeks? Four, eight, two for a tool Jesus yeah that's Wendy Davis and also that's what they're pushing for and they want it to be you know and they want it to be taxpayer funded that's the deal that people have a problem with you know

there you have some people who are pro-life on principle and then you have some people who say I still should never have to pay for an abortion you should never be able to force an employer to pay for an abortion. 42 weeks? 22. 22 weeks? Jesus Christ. That's kind of scary. Three months. It passed three months. That's what they want legally.

Three months is weird because it's not viable outside of the womb, but when you look at it, it looks like a fetus. But see, that's the thing that the left has a real issue with because they don't want... There's no open discussion discussion there's no objectivity there's no when it comes to this like you were either hands off my vagina exactly it's either like you are pro-choice or you are some fucking barbarian who's pro-life and you want to fuck with people's bodies and you want to stand outside of abortion clinics with signs and show show

aborted fetuses but i'm not saying that i'm i am pro-choice i think you should be i'm not the person to tell you what you can or can't do with your body but what we're looking at is a baby well it's yeah what it is is it comes down to the irony of the left saying the right is anti-science and you have well-known atheists even like christopher hitchens and dawkins isn't pro-life but he kind of slipped up where they admitted that it was ending a life christopher hitchens like i think absolutely undoubtedly it's a life and he walked people through it and then of course he became hated by the left and a bigot and a racist so people who claim that the right are anti-science when it comes to abortion they want abortions past a point where there's no doubt that

scientifically um that is much more than a cluster of cells it's not going to be solved in this i got into it with this comedian online from eng because Dawkins had said something that like a fetus or an embryo has just as much in common with a human being as a pig embryo or something like that. Or is no different than a pig embryo. I forget how he worded it, but I was like, well, that's just disingenuous, because obviously a human embryo is going to become a human if you don't snuff it out. A pig embryo is a fucking pig. This goes back to the same thing in political correctness and stand-up, or cultural Marxism. It's the same thing.

It's not, hey, you can have a reasonable position, you can argue being pro-life, and I can say, okay, I see where you're coming from. It's you ought to control our uterus. Well, what I was going to say is that this guy started saying I was right wing. He was like saying, you're right wing. And this is, I'm not. And I'm pro-choice. I'm saying like right now, that is going to be a baby.

You can't say that's the same as a pig. Because it's not. And he was like, that was the other argument. He was like, it's no different than a seed. I go, it's not a seed. I was like it's no that was the other argument He was like it's no different than a seed I go It's not a seed I go because a seed needs to be germinated a seed you need to put it in the ground It needs to be watered and then it sprouts and then becomes a plant. This is something that's going it's already growing It's this is a seed is the egg. Yeah, okay. That's the egg inside of a woman's body No one's saying you can't take eggs out of your body

I'm not even saying you can't have abortions, but let's be honest about what it is. It is a fetus. Yeah. Or an embryo or whatever you want to call it. There's a certain amount of weeks where it becomes scientifically considered a fetus, but, you know, I'm not a right wing guy. But I don't like

the distinctions, man. I don't like being left wing. But the left sees you as that way. That's the problem. I don't think so. I think more people see me as being a liberal hippie than see me because I smoke pot and I have tattoos and I encourage people to do psychedelic drugs. And I'm pro

gay rights. I'm pro gay marriage. I'm pro choice. I'm pro a lot of things that are left-wing. Put it this way. There are a lot of people in the Republican Party who are that way, certainly the libertarian wing, certainly people who would pull the lever for that. There is no one on the Democratic platform, no one who would even allow you that inch that you just expressed.

No one running for president. They wouldn't even give you that time of day. It's abortion, on demand, for free, at any point. That's their mantra, and they can't stray from it. And that's just, you know, that's always where I try and speak with people. Oh, right-wing douchebag. Oh gosh, I just got echo. I don't know if the word douchebag was a trigger for the microphone. Did it echo? I didn't hear it.

Maybe I just heard it. It was your own head. You got voices in your own head. Right-wing douchebag is just such a trigger. You got triggered. You triggered yourself. It's one of those things, you know, I've been called a racist my whole, any time you've come out of the closet. I've been banned from colleges. Well, you are white. No, I've been called a racist my whole, anytime you've come out of the closet. I've been banned from colleges. Well, you are white.

No, I've said some racist jokes. I ended my set, the reason Tony Camacho signed me was I ended my set on the N-word, ER, stuck the landing, goodnight everyone, walked off. And he was going, okay, I want to hear more. Okay. In all fairness, Tony Camacho, not the best judge of stand-up I know well he's I don't want to say he's a great guy well I slept on his couch and stuff for a very nice guy yeah but my point is you know if you pull that out now if you pull that out now it's I mean if I didn't have my own independent thing going you end someone's career have you ever said the n-word

like Paula Deen the deposition was have you ever said the n-word anyone who's anyone who's who's who would sing along to a run DMC album would have to answer yes. They didn't ask the context. And that's where we are. I don't think Run DMC used... They didn't? I think you're thinking like NWA. Maybe.

I don't know. I mean, it's in their name. I know Kanye does. He's a douchebag, but he's a brilliant MC. Yeah, okay. He got a couple good songs. He does. Yeah. All right, sorry, what were we going to say? You were going to say something about Tony, do I know what? No, no, I got a couple good songs. He does. Yeah.

All right, sorry, what were we going to say? You were going to say something about Tony, do I know what? No, no, I'll tell you that later. I'll tell you that off the air. He's a nice guy. I like Tony. Yeah. He's always been a nice guy.

He's always been a nice guy. My point is, you know, I'm 17 and he, you know, brought me in. I would have said, I want to hear more. I want to hear more. I'm not exactly sure if that's the best way to end your set, son. No, the reason was, the bit was, and I've talked about it, and I'll even do it here, I'll talk about it and open about it, was it was a bit about French Canadians watching rap videos. So you have these

French Canadians who are trying to mimic urban accents from the United States, and to the point where you would have them use words they had seen in rap videos, they didn't even grasp the meaning, and so I did. It was a whole bilingual set of using French words and merging in with English, and white kids using the N-word and walking off.

And it was kind of a shock but really funny because everyone had heard it, and that's how I ended it. That's how I got into Just for Laughs, too. Speaking of the N-word, did you hear that Trevor Noah's a joke thief? Guy's a joke thief, like straight up. The South African... The guy who's the new host of The Daily Show

did a show recently. I forget what it was for, but it wasn't a broadcast show. And he did an old Dave Chappelle bit. For a Dave Chappelle bit, I want to say from like the early 2000s, like one of his early specials. And, I mean, moved it around a little bit, but it's the same fucking joke. I mean, verbatim. Thank God you didn't get on stage with him at the comedy store.

Get on stage with him at the comedy store? Oh, Trevor Noah? Why? Because of the Mencia thing? Well, you know, it's actually funny. I watched that. And you know who I called? I don't know if you're still with her.

It was with Tony Camacho. And I had a meeting with Stacey Mark. Yeah. Because you mentioned her. And I was like, oh, that must be the person. Stacey's my agent. She's still my agent. She became my agent five minutes after that happened.

Yeah. Because my agent at the time was the same agent that's been seeing and they wanted me to apologize to him. Yeah, I remember. And that's why I just had a list of going down. That's what's weird.

I was nervous coming in here because, you know, when I was at Fox News, I was there for four and a half years and I went on air, you know, for the first time. I had never seen any of these people.

I don't, I'd never had cable. We didn't get Fox News in Montreal. So I kind of went in and wasn't starstruck. I've been watching you since I was like 10. I mean, Dave Foley is a national hero.

He's a national treasure. News radio, UFC have been following for a long time. So it's, you know, you have to make sure that you're still yourself in the face of someone who you know. The one time I got really starstruck was Clint Eastwood. And there's a certain level of fame with which I'm no longer comfortable. And I just made an ass out of myself. Yeah, that's a level like we go. If I ever met Clint Eastwood, I'd probably be a babbling fucking

idiot too. I was. Outlaw Josie Wales dude. It's tough to get past that. Well, that's what do you say to him? Like, I love doing every which way but loose? What do you pick? That's a good one. That was a good one. I don't know how they train them to write it. Just say, you're the shit dog and give him some knuckles. Well, he said to me, he turns around and he kind of saw I was looking at him and I don't, you never want to be that guy to bother

him and you, I'm Clint. Put out his hand like. Yeah. He doesn't have to say that. No, I know. But he does. Yeah, it's kind of, I guess a lot of those really really famous guys, they kind of have to do that because they don't want to assume that you know who they are even though they do know

that you know who they are. So it's kind of like a common courtesy thing to ask your name instead of saying, what's your name? Nice to meet you, buddy. Like, you know who I am, bitch. Right. You know? What's your name?

Steve? Steve Crowder? All right, nice to meet you. You want to hear a funny Clint Eastwood story? Yes. Okay, so this is true. Does it have to do with the Obama sit-down thing? No, no, no, it doesn't.

Well, because it was at this kind of thing with conservatives in the entertainment industry, so it's very small and closed circuit, and it's small enough that people introduce themselves, like, hey, I'm Steveven kramer comedian you know writer blah blah fox news uh hey i'm so-and-so director and clint eastwood everyone knows he's there stands up and he goes hi i'm clint former mayor of carmel that's true it's not it's not untrue and if you want to be a mayor of a place that's a spot that's a fucking beautiful place god have you ever been to carmel the closest event is like to santa barbara

and i've been through it on the way up you know you got to keep going carmel is on the way up to uh it's it's right next to big sir it's like maybe half hour from big sir fuck it's beautiful up there that might be one of the most beautiful spots in this country. Have you ever been in northern Michigan? Yeah, I've been in northern Michigan. Like north of Traverse City? I've been to Olivette. You know where Olivette is? Yeah, no.

I mean, it's been actually rated most beautiful area in the country for a few years running. Yeah, Leelanau County. So it looks like the Mediterranean. You know, vineyards rolling down to water that's crystal clear. No sharks. A little bit of lampreys. And it's just gorgeous up there. Yeah.

Well, there's some beautiful spots in this country, obviously. But what I was saying is that Carmel is just, it's a really unusual area. There's not a lot of people there. It's like the land, like there's the water, and then it doesn't go in that deep, you know, deep into the mainland. It's just fucking stunning, stunning countryside and beautiful views of the ocean. Well, that's where they did Play Misty for me. Oh, yeah, that's right. Play Misty beats the hell out of that broad.

He's probably been going up there for a long time. Do you watch that? He just beats the hell out of her. You can't do that anymore. You can't, but it's just, I remember watching it for the first time, and I'm like, oh, this is pretty good, and he just comes in, the hell are you, and just starts wailing on her. I first time like oh, this is pretty good. He just comes in the hell You just starts wailing on it like oh my god You're like in the Dirty Harry films

You just punch in some prostitute with an afro and you're like you can't like blowing him away with his 44 Magnum You can't do any of that stuff No, you couldn't make ways and saddles super hard to punch women on movies Yeah, like that woman would have to be like a demon or something like that and even then even then I don't know Even then they'd say it's a representation of the patriarchal society that's right like mad max did you see that everyone the remake didn't see it it wasn't bad it was bizarre but it was like uh all these people saying it's this pro-feminist message because charlie's their own kicks ass and um then the feminist said actually it's not because the real leader is a guy and it's

patriarchy and all these Tumblr blogs. And it's like, nothing can... But it's a gay guy. Who? What's his face? Tom, what the fuck's his name? Tom Hardy? Tom Hardy? No, it's not Tom Hardy. It's like an old gray-haired guy who's like a leader.

I don't think Tom Hardy's gay. He shut down a reporter who asked him about it. He said, oh, you're asking me about sexuality. And he was like, just go away. He said, it's not interesting. Yeah, that's what you say when you're gay. Yeah, I know. My rule is if a woman claims she She's bisexual like a teenager. She's trying to be cool I don't think I says that he's gay. Oh really? Yeah, I've never met a bi guy who wasn't gay. Yeah

Me neither. Yeah, I always say there's two types of dudes There's gay dudes and then there's really gullible straight dudes who get talked into blowing crafty gay dudes. Like Bowie Mick Jagger? We don't really want to do this. Who's Bowie Mick Jagger? David Bowie Mick Jagger. Oh, Bowie Mick. I thought it was like one person. Who's Bowie Mick Jagger? Yeah, it's like that stand-up group.

Oats and Garfunkel. Those merging names. Although that night they got it on, they two became one. I might have made that up about Tom Hardy. No, I think he talked about experimenting at one point. No, then That's funny. Although that night they got it on, they two became one. I might have made that up about Tom Hardy. No, I think he talked about experimenting at one point. Oh, then he's gay. That's it. What are you, a scientist?

What are you, sucking a dick with a lab coat on, a beaker in your hand? What are you doing? That's not... For some reason I'm picturing Beaker from the Muppets game. But back in the 70s and the 60s, I think more people did experiment that might not even be gay because they were breaking down so many bizarre boundaries, and there was so much restriction on behavior from the McCarthy era in the 1950s and the way people behaved.

It was all of a sudden everyone's doing acid and they're free love, and I think there was a lot of dick suck in there that people went, you know, shouldn't have done that. Like they legitimately weren't gay, but did some gay shit. That's what do I know? Not a historian. We're getting off the realm of something that we can prove. It's like LeVar Burton.

You don't have to take my word for it. Is LeVar Burton gay? No, but I mean, you ever watch that in Reading Rainbow? Do you think when he puts those things on, it's just dicks glued inside there? Maybe that's why. It's like the kaleidoscope at Marvin? Hey? We're looking in but Big kaleidoscope no I remember reading rainbow And you'd always be like you know this book you talk about it as little polo and his Burger King kids Club haircut

And be like, but you don't have to take my word for it, and it's like okay So we're not taking your word for it We should take the word of a bunch of six-year-olds. Like, I like this book because. And it's like, how little respect do you have for your own opinion, LeVar? Well, I think he was just being humble, right? Maybe. You know.

Which is generally not a quality found in the gay community. No? I don't know. They're dramatic. They have a flair for the dramatic. They do have a flair for the dramatic. That's one of the cool qualities about them. Oh, it's hilarious.

They can say some things. You ever see a gay guy in a disaster, like a fire drill? It's funny. I've never seen a gay guy in a disaster. I have a guy, actually, I was talking to my brother about it, a famous actor my brother works with, and he has an earthquake kit. Do you have that in your trunk anymore, like an emergency kit?

Because he had that when he was here for the big earthquakes, and he was in some area where it was like really gay and he just said it was so funny they were just running around the streets no my god i was just and he's like super liberal you know further to the left than either of us and tolerant he was just like it was just really a trip to see well milo you think he's gonna be your rock when that goes down no no no no he'll fall apart i don't know if he'll fall apart but he's running into the arms of another there's yeah there's gonna be some issues there for sure but you know that's just not his wheelhouse isn't his wheelhouse isn't fucking toughening up

you know i don't know and fucking riding it out riding the storm out that's a negative stereotype it is i'm a little offended it is a negative stereotype. It is. I'm a little offended. It is a negative stereotype. But the femininity of the gay male. It's very funny. And it's okay to, like, I talked, well, that was, as I was saying, at CPAC, it was like this political action conference. That's where Huffington Post said I yelled the N-word and I didn't. And they said I joked about raping Ashley Judd and I didn't.

Wait, what was that? Why did they say that? Who said that? Well, they fact-checked stand-up. This was Huffington Post. And that's why when we were talking online... So you were doing stand-up? Yeah.

I was emceeing a political action conference. Right. And I was just doing some bits. And one of them was in a private room. It was like a blogging awards ceremony. And we had a rap video. Mr. America. We were dressed up as Thomas Jefferson and George Washington.

And one of the jokes in the video... You know, it's not something you'd put on your resume, but it was... We're bringing back knickers. It's a rap song. And then the record stops. And I'm like, no, no, I can say knickers because I wear knickers. And we actually had a black producer who was like, oh, okay. You know, gives us a thumbs up.

Like, hood pass for knickers. So I'm fine if Huffington Post want to say, okay, they made a joke that's risque and, you know, but they just said Steven Crowder yells N-word to applause. Oh, Jesus Christ. Or Ashley makes rape joke about Ashley Judd. I'm sorry to interrupt. Go ahead. No, no, go ahead. But that's why when you sent me them as a source, I'm going, you're sending it. You know, today's Salon is

tomorrow's HuffPo. They are not the friend of stand-up comics. No. They want to destroy the voice of anyone who doesn't agree with them. And that's a lot of stand-up comedians now. And that's what's problematic. Well, what I've said about these people, and I'll continue to say it, I don't believe they're actually progressives. What I think they're doing is they're mining the world of ideas.

And they're looking for things that they can attack. I don't think they really want to attack it because it makes sense. I think they're mining the world of ideas for the moral high ground. And they're looking to find things that they can be aggressive about and go after. And it gives them a license to be really shitty to people. Yeah. You treat someone, you know, you paint them as subhuman, you can treat them subhuman. I think also it's really important.

If you really want to be a progressive person, you really want love and acceptance in the world, it's really important to not be a fucking asshole. And there's a lot of these people. Here's something. I'm a hunter, Okay. And when I, when I hunt, I sometimes put pictures of these fucking animals online. And one of the reasons why I do it, I do it for a bunch of reasons. One to see the reaction to the last one I did, I did as a tribute to my friend Cameron Haynes. Cause I shot an elk with a bow and arrow and he taught me how to do it. It's hard to do. The fucking nastiest people, the meanest shit was vegans.

I read the Sherdog. They were saying something. I didn't read that. But they were vegans on Sherdog. Why do you read Sherdog? I actually, that's how, you want to know how far back it goes. I had an account before the message boards, I think, even existed because I was watching the highlight videos because I couldn't afford the pay-per-views.

So when I hear beautiful day from you two, I still think of Sakuraba light kicking Henzo Gracie in his back. Oh, beautiful. Like trigger. But yeah, you were all over sure, Doug. They hate you. That's fine. But they're animals.

Well, meanwhile, how many of those fucking dummies eat meat? How many of those dummies have cats? That's my favorite one. People who have cats. You buy cat food for your cat. Guess what? You're a fucking killer. Right.

Because they're not getting that shit from a cat food tree. Okay. They're grinding up animals that live a horrible life. They're living in cages and they're sucking them out of those cages, killing them in a ruthless, cost-effective manner and stuffing them into a can so your little fucking tabby can eat. Plus you still have to have a cat. Yeah. I like cats. I don't. I have a dog. I have two cats. I have dogs too. I have a giant dog. But my point is that some of the meanest, nastiest shit was being said by vegans. And I think that they have this green light to be a cunt. And I think there's a lot of people that what they do is they find areas where they feel like they have the green light.

There's a subject. There's an issue that's come up. And they feel like all these fucking people that went after that lion guy. Like, I'm not saying you should go to Africa and kill a lion, but I don't want to go to Africa and kill, I don't want to kill anything I'm not going to eat. But that fucking guy did everything by the book, by the way. He killed a lion with a name was his mistake. Well, here's my favorite part of it.

Not just the protests and everybody standing outside of his fucking clinic and ruining his business. Right. My favorite part was they were worried about his brother. The brother of the lion, Cecil's brother was, what the fuck was his name? I forget the brother's name. But Cecil had a brother. Yeah. And the brother was also killed.

And everybody was freaking out. Oh, my God. And then they found that it wasn't the brother. There was just another lion and everyone was relieved. It's hard to tell them apart. Some no-name fucking lion. So if the lion doesn't have a name, that lion ain't shit. He's riding Cecil's coattails, see? Did you read

the letter from the guy from Zimbabwe? Yes! And did you see the numbers of how many people get killed by lions every year? Yes! Like 256 a year. Did you see The Ghost in the Darkness? Yes, I did. That's a nightmare. It's a great movie. It's a nightmare. That's Val Kilmer when he was young. It's sleek and sexy.

I know. It's a good fucking movie. Michael Douglas was in that movie too. Badass. I think Al Roker is Val Kilmer in a fat suit. We haven't seen him in so long. Well, Val Kilmer slimmed down considerably from that meme. Have you seen the meme?

I used to be Batman. He's got this giant moon-faced. Joel Schumacher. Rubber nipples, bitch! Yeah, he was a director. Remember when Val Kilmer was there? Val Kilmer was a good Batman, though. I thought he was good.

That's one of those films I went back and watched, and I was like, Batman and Robin was bad. That was really bad. But Batman Forever was... That's still... And I went back and watched it, and I was like, I wish I would have just... Who was Robin?

Chris O'Donnell. Oh, that's... Whatever happened to that guy? I think he has some show alicia alicia silverstone was batgirl too and then she's like a vegan pita person now oh wasn't it he chris o'donnell with ll cool j and some crime show oh christ even talking about that just dropped my iq oh that wasn't a film renny Harlan directed And he like did all those I think he's made of milk

Yeah there he goes Hey guys Remember when I was Batman I don't You know what's weird Is I don't know how you let it Get that far How about Marlon Brando

You ever see On the Waterfront And then see The Last Days The Last Days of Marlon Brando I think he's very overrated As an actor Yeah I was a much bigger fan

Of James Dean Than Marlon Brando Well it was a different time. But if you go to On the Waterfront, compare it to anything anybody else was doing back then. No, I disagree. Really? Yeah. The perfect scene is James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

And it's so bizarre because he was kind of like one of the first naturalists. He just went and he was very... If you look the way he spoke, it was pretty natural. But everyone else in the scene was still... So he was like, oh, mom, you're tearing me apart. Leave me alone. Well, that's a fine way to behave, young man. He gets it from his mother, see?

And then you go to James and he's sitting there talking and he's like, and you're like, this is real. So you can just see when that transition happened. And I think James Dean, when he was alive alive didn't get the respect Brando did. Hmm. I don't know. I didn't really pay attention to who got respect. All right. But I thought Brando was pretty good and on the waterfront especially in comparison to the rest of the era. You want to talk gay?

James Dean? No, well yeah, but I mean the outfit The wild one with Marlon Brando the little leather mailman hat and the handkerchief. Well, you know when that became gay, that became gay, Judas Priest came around. Right. That's when it became gay. Yeah. Because Rob Halford's gay as fuck.

Well, they started- You got everybody dressing gay. They didn't even know they were dressing gay. They just wanted to be like, Judas Priest, you got another thing coming. Do you think Marlon Brando would have dressed that way if he knew that was coming down the pike? I don't know. Yeah.

I mean, that's got to be tough because you're a sex symbol and you're Marlon Brando. And then like, this is going to become the iconic, you know, Mr. Slave outfit. Yeah. But Marlon Brando clearly didn't give a fuck about anything. He didn't give a fuck about the way he looked. He didn't give a fuck about his health. I mean, he was crazy towards the end of his life. I mean, he was completely out of his mind.

Yeah. I don't think it really mattered to him. He wasn't the same rider, I don't think, that James Dean was on a motorcycle. Really? From what I understand, James Dean was pretty... Well, I actually got to sit in... You know, there were only like something like 14 cars that James Dean... The Spyder, Ferrari, whatever it is.

I don't know a lot about cars. What it is... Porsche. Was it a Porsche? The one that killed him. Okay. Really, really low? Well, actually, what's funny is I bought my car. It was a 2003 about cars. What it is... Porsche. Was it a Porsche? The one that killed them. Okay. Really, really low? Well, actually,

what's funny is I bought my car. It was a 2003 Taurus, but it was in the back of this car shop in Dallas where this guy has done, like, George Bush's car. He just decks them out. And he was just this old guy who was selling his old car. And they showed me that. It was, like, some absurd... I could be wrong. Like, a million, two million dollars. They said James Dean's was lot

13 or 14, and this was like lot 11 or 12. And it was one of those exact cars. Yeah. And I just looked at it. I'm like, it's like a go-kart. You're so low to the ground. That's got to be tough to control. It's actually easier to control because it's low to the ground, and it's very lightweight.

Those are pretty easy to control for the time. But if you compare that to like a Boxster today like a porsche box right it's a boxers way more competent car they just but those cars were 100 mechanical when you're when you're buying a car today like that like a boxter which is small you're dealing with all sorts of traction control stability management there's all sorts of behind the scenes computer aided shit going on uh anti-lock braking systems there's all sorts of stuff that's happening behind the scenes i don't i just know when i saw it it was one of those things where that's a perfect example kind of i was my dad explained some things to me this way

as a kid right i saw that car i don't know a lot about cars at all i mean i was buying a torus um i was like oh okay that's pretty cool he told me so he told me the exact same truth that he could have told you. But if you'd have seen that car, you'd be like, oh, my God, I want to look in and be really interested in it. We both saw the same car. We both experienced the same thing. But it's an entirely different experience. Right.

And that's just kind of the way, the human condition. Sure. Which I just find sort of fascinating. Like, to me, I was like, oh, okay, that's pretty cool. Let me go by my doors. Yeah, if you don't know, I mean, if you showed me, like, an old golf club or something like that, I wouldn't know shit about it. But if you show me, like, an old pool cue, like a balabushka from, like, 1965, I'd be like, oh.

Right. You know, I just, I know pool cues. Well, it's like people who don't get jiu-jitsu. Yes, sure. You talk to them about it, and they're like, well, you wear little cotton belts, and you're like, no, you don't get it. Well, that's one of my main things that I have to do when fights go to the ground is explain all the, like, if I was doing commentary and it was only black belts listening, my commentary would be infinitely shorter. Right.

Because, you know, everybody would know kind of what's going on. You know, triangle setups. I mean, you'd be like, like when we do these fight companion podcasts, we do them like sometimes we're doing with Eddie Bravo. And when we're watching situations, we're talking about like some guy going for his for his oh shit. He's going for the armbar. Oh, yeah We know I don't have to say what he's got to do now He's got to be careful the left arm if he gets a left arm past a certain position Then it's now he's not in danger because it's past the elbow right so there's a whole What I'm trying to do when I'm doing commentary for the UFC when the fights go to the ground is

Help people that I know are watching this to just see a jumble of bodies. Yeah. Well, even sport jiu-jitsu for people who do jiu-jitsu is not very entertaining. Especially with the gi. With the gi, it's a real problem. It's a real problem. It's kind of boring as fuck. Do you think it's gotten to the point?

My dad and I were talking. I mean, my dad's actually a purple belt. That's pretty cool. He's 55. He started in his 50s. That's awesome. And he actually hasn't had a point scored against him. Really?

Let alone around. You're a big guy. He's probably a giant, huh? Yeah. Well, he played hockey at U of M. He's awesome. And he actually hasn't had a point scored against him. Really? Let alone around. You're a big guy. He's probably a giant, huh? Yeah. Well, he played hockey at U of M. He's a real athlete and he's stayed in shape. So we actually, I could bring up a, I'll show you a video afterward. But so he's competed all the way through blue to get his purple, not even had a point scored

against him. Wow. And his thing though is very strong takedowns, top control pass. And in practice, he'll roll with guys who are doing the reverse de la jiva and all this stuff and my dad and i believe and i don't know if you think it's somebody did taekwondo taekwondo at one point where there was some combat relevance and then when you get into the olympic it's really not anymore i feel like sport jiu-jitsu has gone in that direction where you have a guy who can be the best in the world in a 125 division with a gi who would get his

ass kicked by a hockey player in a street fight. And to me, you sort of lost your- Well, not if the hockey player weighed 125 pounds. Well, a hockey player getting started at 200, you know, is my point. My dad, when he got started, he would pull a gi over their head, because that was a hockey thing. Right, right, right. You can do, Darren, you can do.

But why can't you do that? I think gis are stupid. I mean, if you can take the the collar if you can take someone's Fucking the bottom of the jacket and wrap it all the way around his neck. Why can't you pull it over the head? Stupid I mean and that's the thing is is is it's it's a weird situation You're getting into it And it's no longer really combat relevant and we have a lot of guys who are you know the CrossFit thing and all this ridiculous Sort of strength training that's come into it, and they're just they never get strong. I'm, you know, the CrossFit thing and all this ridiculous sort of strength training that's come into it. And they're just, they never get strong. I'm going, you know,

life is- Wait a minute, the CrossFit thing, they don't get strong? What do you mean? No. Cross, well, you should have Mark Ripto on. He'll talk about that. I mean, with strength training, you need linear progression that's measurable when you're starting. Guy like you, right, you can do anything now when you're going to, because you have a strength base. Someone who's never lifted heavy weights and added five pounds incrementally is not going to get a lot out of battle ropes and snatches for five minutes. He's not going to get a lot out of it.

He needs to increase his maximal strength. So we have kids come in like, no, man, I saw this. This is what I'm doing. It's the new strength thing. They never get stronger. They never get bigger. And we started,

and my dad is still of this philosophy, you start because you want to be a sovereign man. You want to be able to defend yourself. And if you're at a point where you double guard pull and you reverse de la jiva and you're no longer able to actually protect yourself. I don't know. I feel like it's lost. I mean, Hoyes Gracie is a good example. You know, he wouldn't do well in sport jiu-jitsu, but he was big enough. He was strong enough to get it done and protect himself and win altercation well the game has passed him by sure in a lot of ways but i think that there are a lot of guys in sport jujitsu that would do great like cyborg you know right you know the big strong right now on the show yeah great yeah i rolled him when i was a white belt yeah no he's a badass there's a lot of really great jujitsu guys but i agree with you like a badass. There's a lot of really great jiu-jitsu guys, but I agree with you like 50-50 guard. There's a lot of silly shit that

guys are doing that just doesn't seem like... It's also kind of boring to watch in a lot of ways. But then there's like nogi, like Eddie Cummins, guys like Gary Tonin, who are like super aggressive, very, you know, submission-oriented. There's a lot of guys.

Marcelo Garcia, very aggressive, submission-oriented, attacking style. So there's going to be guys like in the Taekwondo days that just play point style. But there was always guys back then that were terrifying because they would knock guys dead. You know, even during my Taekwondo competition days, I remember there was this guy from the Ivory Coast that everybody was terrified of. His name was Patrice Remarque because his style of attacking was so much different than everybody else's. Everybody else was playing this sort of, not everybody,

but a lot of people were playing this sort of point game and this fucking dude was this shredded black guy from the Ivory Coast that would kick through you. Why do you have to say black? Why is that necessary? He's from Africa. Africa's fucked. Well, he could be. White from Africa?

A white guy from Africa. That accent almost seems fake. The South African accent? Black from Africa. Yeah, it's like a Dutch thing, right? There were Dutch settlers that came to South Africa, right? The South African almost sounds like they're faking an Australian accent. Like a bad comic, like, I'm Australian, right? You're like, that's not real.

It's like, oh, it's just South Africa. Well, that's when we saw the two collide on Lethal Weapon. Remember? This is true. Mel Gibson had at it with the apartheid guy. The apartheid. What did he call them? Kefer.

What is it? This wasn't the first one, was it? No. It was down the line. But he was like, Danny Glover was a black guy. He had a bad name for black guys. Danny Glover's too old for that shit, you know. He is too old for that shit.

When you go back and watch it and you realize that Mel Gibson is crazy, you go back and watch those and you can kind of see the flashes. You're like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. But do you think that Mel Gibson got crazy, or do you think he always was crazy? No, I think, I mean, I've spoken actually with some people who worked in Passion of the Christ, and I think he got so much heat for that. I mean, you talk about sort of like social justice warriors.

He got so many people who went after him, and I just don't think he was expecting or used to that kind of pressure. I think, have you ever heard the voicemails? Oh, yeah. To me, that is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life Well, it's funny to me, but it's sad because he's an old guy He's dating this Russian assassin, you know, and she's stealing his cum and making babies and He's like off the wall angry right for people who haven't heard it shut up and blow me because I deserve it But he starts yelling my friend and I I I said okay listen listen and I cue it

up I let people listen for context I go this is the funniest thing you'll ever hear and no one laughs except for me and my producer gay Jared where he's like you have no soul you have no soul but I will give you one more chance and I don't know why I just find like anyone who's been through a breakup where you're like, I want to tell her off, but I want to make it work. Does he say that? I will give you one more chance? I will give you one more chance. And she goes, I don't want another chance.

What? I don't want, what? It just goes crazy. And to me, it's just like the pain. Do I think it was horrible, the things he said? Yeah, but anyone who's been in like one of those horrible breakups and you feel like you're not being heard has felt that anger and then he tries to pull it back he needs better friends well Robert Downey's his best

get really yeah they're close friends Robert Downey jr. that's what he said yeah came out and introduced him at some award thing hmm interesting what if Robert Downey jr. hates the Jews as well. I don't think I'll come out and say it. Because Mel Gibson, you just get a couple cocktails into him, and apparently he just starts hating the Jews. I don't think it's the cocktails that make him hate the Jews. No, but that's what gets it out of him. It's people that got him pulled over in Malibu.

The cops that pulled him over were saying he's just fucking spouting out all this fucking anti-Jew stuff. Well, they call the one cop sugar tits. Oh, that I don't know I don't know why I find it really funny I know it's terrible and people pull this up against me as example of being racist I just find that pain funny because everyone's felt it and then he tries to pull it back I will give you one more chance I don't know why in my head. It is funny. Think about the pain of everything you just said. You hope she gets raped by a pack of N-words and all that stuff. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that part.

A pack of wild N-words, right? Wasn't it? Like they're just roaming. They're wild. Like that's what they do. Yeah, like fucking lions. But you know what, though? The crazy thing is You don't know that he hates black people

No, he could have like, you know, Michael Richards. Well, he's in those movies with Danny Glover They seem to get along wonderfully and that's one thing I've talked about with people people go Oh, you have a black friend now Here's here's the thing if you have a lot of black friends get black friends over for dinner Do I aside from Tony come on the show? Yes Do you have black friends? Do you have black friends over for dinner? Do I? Aside from Tony Camacho?

Yes. Yeah, plenty of black friends. Okay. When was the last time a black guy was over your house for dinner? Probably been a while. I'm hoping you don't ask me. You're coming back telling me about some black guy shot someone at the comedy store. You're going to put me in the hot seat.

Do you have a black guy at home for dinner? Well, I don't know that guy. Would you feed him? Was it grass-fed? Did you feed him grass-fed beef? Grass-fed? I don't know. I don't know. It's like, bring out the corn- grass-fed? Did you feed him grass-fed beef? Grass-fed? I don't know. Otherwise, I don't know. It's like, bring out the corn-fed steak.

He's a Negro. I mean, what do you think I'm going to do? Is that a bad steak? You're on the grass-fed. I play coy. But I eat corn-fed beef, too. Really? Yeah, it's not bad.

It's fatty. Sometimes it tastes delicious. A nice corn-fed prime rib. I don't have the Joe Rogan salary, so it's mostly corn-fed. Well, is grass-fed that much more expensive? Oh, my gosh. It's so much more. You make some money. Although, I've never hunted, so it's mostly corn-fed. Well, is grass-fed that much more expensive? Oh my gosh, it's so much more. You make some money. Although, I've never hunted, but my uncle-in-law

has a cider mill up in northern Michigan, and all the deer just keep eating his apples. So he was like, listen, I have a permit, something absurd, I don't know the number, to kill like five a month or something, because they're just constantly eating his apples. He's like, you want to come up? And I was like, I mean, I'm not a hunter, but I could literally just sit there in a lawn chair with my.357, take a couple of them out while they're eating constantly eating his apples. He's like, you want to come up? And I was like, I mean, I'm not a hunter, but I could literally just sit there in a

lawn chair with my.357, take a couple of them out while they're eating some Fugees. A.357? Yeah, they changed the law. You can hunt with handgun cartridges. But you don't want to. Actually,.357 out of a rifle has ballistics that are higher than mid-caliber rifle stuff. Well, the rifle's just more accurate, is what I'm saying. Yeah, but out of a six-inch barrel handgun,.357, you're actually going to get really surprising ballistics. But you have to be really accurate, is what I'm saying. Yeah, but out of a six-inch barrel handgun,.357,

you're actually going to get really surprising ballistic. But you have to be really close, is what I'm saying. They're going to eat a Red Delicious right in front of me. I'll be in a lawn chair with a... Probably from me to you. These things love the apples. That's the point. They get that close?

Yeah, they just eat the apples. They go nuts. I'm peeing all over the cider orchard property because apparently it helps. And he's just like, listen, you want to kill them? I know a guy who will process them right down the road. It's delicious meat especially I just don't know how to cut out the anus. It's not hard It's it makes me nervous if you know how to operate a microphone you can figure that out

I don't think I've done a stellar job of that today. I'm not used to But yeah gutting them it just get you get used to becomes normal. You understand where to go and how to cut around. Well, they've opened it up in Michigan because it's just a real problem. They're eating everything. We pulled it up the other day. There was a number of the amount of driving accidents involving deer. Deer hit in Michigan, and it was like 40,000. Pull that up again, Jamie.

That's why I won't ride the motorcycle out there in any rural area with a deer. It's insane. Yeah. I mean, people who live in urban environments that get upset at hunting, they don't understand. You literally don't understand. These animals have vastly overpopulated to the point where they bring in hunters in suburban Pennsylvania because they have no limits.

You can shoot as many as you want all day long, all year long. And they bring people in just to try to... A lot of parts of Pennsylvania. I don't know specifically which counties, but I know that these guys, and I know that they're bow hunters, they fly them out to Pennsylvania and they film shows where they're

essentially in these fucking people's yards. And they set up tree stands. And I'm not kidding. It's a nice yard. But suburban neighborhood, nice street, big houses. It's a nice yard. It is. It's a home that's got several acres, like two or three acres.

And they have tree stands set up. And they're just killing as many deer as walk their way. I can imagine. Yeah. And they have to. Because driving accidents are fucking crazy. So many people hit them. Yeah.

I just, 357 is my gun of choice. That's your gun of choice? Why is that? Sounds good. Yeah, it sounds that. No, you know what? A.357 handgun out of a four-inch barrel is going to have better ballistics than any other caliber for self-defense. And the reason why is I have a giant bucket of.38s and giant bucket of.37s withs with lever action rifles different handguns and my wife doesn't need to worry about what goes into

where so we've got quite and I have a beautiful like almost collector's item an old 357 smith and wesson an old one from where smith and wesson it's like an eight maybe like how I mean where it's not that I mean but it's before they have the internal lock, and it's nickel-plated. It's just beautiful. It's my favorite. Like, the trigger on that thing is just butter smooth. Here's the number. Average of 134 deer vehicle crashes each day.

Holy shit. Holy shit. That's Michigan. For 2012, resulted in 1,329 injuries and eight deaths. Wow. Just kill those things. Yeah. Well, they're, they're food, you know, that's the thing about them. You know, I've never been on a joke about you should, it's not, it's not bad. It's fun to do. I don't think it's bad. I want to say that it's that people don't want to say it's fun for some reason. I don't understand that. Like it's ethical and it's fun. Like it is fun. don't think it's bad. People don't want to say that. People don't want to say it's fun for some reason. I don't understand that.

Like, it's ethical and it's fun. Like, it is fun. Why deny that it's fun? It's fun and it's productive. Yeah, it is definitely productive.

Certainly more productive than shooting at the range. Well, especially if you want to eat healthy meat that's natural and organic and especially if you want to help control the

population of these animals. Yeah. Because there's only one other way You're gonna bring in wolves what are you gonna? Do bring in mountain lions and have them run through the streets of Pennsylvania come on I mean you don't really have a lot of other options for controlling the populations of these fucking animals We had a bobcat in our yard and hopper our dog like one after that. They're cool-looking. They're cool

They look weird. I can't catch it, but you would have messed it up I had one of those my yard once once. It was the weirdest thing. I was like, what is that fucking cat? They have the Wolverine kind of thing. The tips of their ears are fucking weird looking. I was like, what is that? It's very strange looking. Their back legs look longer than they should be.

It's a weird sort of body dynamic. Our dog went nuts for it. If he'd have been able to catch it, he would have killed it. He would have killed it? Yeah. How big is your dog? He's a dog-o-Argentino. Oh, okay. That's a big fucking dog. Yeah.

I think Ronda Rousey has one. He's a little bigger. He was a rescue. That's another thing. Perfect example of leftists and animal rights. We have a rescue. Came to us with a broken leg, balding, Lyme disease. He wasn't the perfect dog. We've basically brought him back to health.

I volunteered at shelters, helped with them. But you know what? I also tell people, if you have kids, you probably shouldn't adopt a dog. You probably should get it from a puppy and raise your kids

and know about that dog. Yeah. He's perfect for us. He's a little bit racist. I'm not going to lie. I don't know. And he's a white dog. He's perfect for us. He's a little bit racist. I'm not gonna lie. I don't know. And he's a white dog.

He's stark white. Your dog is racist? Well, you know what's funny? He loves black men. He's racist? Older women. Towards? Black boys.

Black boys? Like 12-year-old black boys. He just like, he's just a little leery. Ooh. Specifically them. And he's not aggressive, so he just, but you just see he wants to be pet by everyone. He's the most friendly, pack-ranted dog. Younger black boys, he's like, no. Wow.

And he's all white. So that's all he is. Well, there are a lot of dogs that are fucking sketchy as hell around kids. I had a friend who had a pit bull that was really sketchy around kids. And it's just he had never been around kids. And kids to him looked like little animals. Like he didn't understand what they were. Well, it's unstable.

Yeah. Our dog, actually um hopper he's uh if my wife and i argue at all or for ranting about our day like i have to be careful when i do the radio show he'll sit in the corner look in the corner and shake he gets upset but he'll actually shake oh so like he was abused he just when we pulled out a musket for a video video like a never before in front of him he pulled it out barking like crazy showing his foaming at the mouth with the musket.

Whoa. So we don't know. You don't know what he's seen. No, and if you're a kid and you're pulling, ah, a cap gun, oh my God, you know,

it's like the woman who had her face ripped off by a chip. I had a female rescue dog that if you raised your voice, she would just drop to the ground and cower. Yeah.

Like you couldn't say, what are you doing over there? Right. She would just, she had been beaten and the other dogs that I had from the time they were puppies were like, what the fuck's going on with her? Jesus Christ. Do you know how this house works?

Well, that's the whole thing. Yeah, exactly. You have to. We actually tried to rescue another dog and a lady wouldn't give it to us because she found out my politics. Oh, come on. I swear to you. What? Come on.

Really? Dog's name is Mr. Big. Well, she's probably I swear to you. What? Yeah. Come on. Really? Yep. Dog's name is Mr. Big. I wonder how his dog is today. Well, she's probably a crazy cunt. She was a super hippie, and she was looking for a reason. And so it was this shelter where you have to go in for a whole weekend and learn all these dogs. So it was actually where I ended up volunteering.

And this one dog everyone was scared of. He was like an American bulldog mix. So he was about 120 pounds, called Mr. Big. And he would just fall at the mouth and be barking at the, you know, at the, what do you recall? Fence. Fence, yeah. But they all have their own individual runs in this one. And you just go in, he's just excited.

So no one wanted to take him out. He was just great. And what really got her mad was we had to watch like this dog training video. And it was like, how to learn dog body language. And, you know, a little like writing comes in, like an early 90s VHS. And I went out, and she's like, what did you think of the source material? I said, you've got to love that early 90s Saved by the Bell font, right? She wrote something down, and she was furious.

Because you made fun of the font? I don't know. I didn't get the dog. That dog could have had a house. We're happy with our dog, but it breaks my heart to think of him. But how do you know that it was about your politics? Well, she said because when there was no valid reason

because we know the owner of that place, she said, well, I get to choose who gets what dog and he's just not the right dog for them. I wouldn't give them any dog. That's what she said. I wouldn't give them any dog. Well, how did she know? Did she like Google you? Yeah. Well, I came

in and the guy who owns it was a fan. He's like this multi-millionaire who's kind of a fan and I think he probably let her know or something and she was... Oh, so he's a fan of yours but she works for him and she's not a fan but she gets the ultimate decision? He's very hands off with that. Wow. How weird.

He's a great guy. He's a great guy actually. He's this multi-millionaire and people just hate him where we are. And you just meet him and he's like, he's made all of his money. What's crazy, and this is sort of something we don't tell kids. I talk with people about this. We say, well, what do you want to be? I want to be a firefighter. You need to ask him what kind of

a lifestyle do you want to live? Because this guy has made all of his money off of burger patty machines. Really? And multi-multi-like, no kid goes, I want to make burger patty machines! But, you know, you say, hey, you want to never have a boss and have a bank account with tens of millions of dollars? That sounds

pretty good. Burger patty machines. Well, this guy's already got the market cornered, though. Maybe tell him something else. Yeah. You know, I don't know. Hot dog machines. I mean, how many more fucking people can make burger patty machines? Imagine if you come along with a new one, you know, he'll fucking box you out of the business. He probably can.

He's like, listen. It's the 1%, kid. Yeah, listen. I got this market cool on it. Maybe you need to make hot dog machines. Well, you know, it's a perfect example. He's rich. We're supposed to hate him, and he's a great guy, and he's been, you know, he runs this

giant non-kill dog shelter, and he's just like, but everyone just hates him. Okay. Some people. Yeah, you're supposed to hate wealthy folks that are famous or that are successful. Unless they're actors. Unless they're actors, then you're not. Well, actors talk about the wealthiest 1%. And they go out and they talk about the people.

But they are the 1% in a lot of ways. You're the top 1% of the top 1% of 1%. Well, here's what's really crazy. If you make more than $34,000 a year, you're in the 1% of the world. Yeah. You know what your 1% in the United States? What? 500,000 annual family income.

You know what's top 10%? What? 150,000 annual household income. Whoa. So we actually have a video going up right now at the site. Today we're actually launching an AR-15 giveaway and we have a video on Bernie. Yeah, we're giving them away, folks. Sorry.

Can I use your show to plug that? Give away AR-15s? Yeah. Do you believe in background checks? Yeah, we do all that. Actually, it's done through AR-15.com and they sell custom AR-15s. Well, of course, if you're doing it legally, you have to have background checks. They ship to an FFL.

But I'm saying your politics, do you think that? Well, there are background checks. Yes. Right. That's fine. You don't have a problem with... The gun show loophole. What's that?

Is that what you're talking about? The gun show loophole? What gun show loophole? Oh, well, that's an interesting loophole. You know, you can sell guns to people. We'll explain the gun show loophole for people who don't understand it. It's just, you know, they say with a background check at a gun show, there's a loophole and you can get a gun without a background check.

Here's the thing. I think it was Charles Cook who was on one of those cable news networks. Sorry, I have to burp. I'm going to have to go ahead. Go ahead. I don't have a cough button. It's quiet. Burp. Yeah, this show is real as fuck. We don't believe in cough. We're going to actually, we're going to probably put a cough button. Are we going to do that? We decided that yet? We didn't really decide. We're thinking about putting a cough button in the next studio. That helps me zero right now. Sorry. Yeah, I'm just talking.

My thing is with the gun issue. It's about the intrinsic right to self-preservation. So a good example is, you know, you asked me if I did stand-up. I don't do a ton of it anymore, but I have one next week. When I do any live performance now, there has to be armed security and some

kind of a gate. It's just the way it is. Same thing with someone like Ann Coulter, Milo Yiannopoulos. You don't just get to go up and do stand-up anymore. But Milo, he shows up at slut walks. Yeah, I do that too, but that's different from an announced show on a schedule where people can, you know. Can show up and know that you're going to be there. So you have armed security always at all of your shows?

If I do it, yeah. Why is that? Because of the crazy death threats. And I don't talk about it a lot because you never want to be the person like Lena Dunham I got a death threat because I showed my nipple. It's like legit when you question Islam and you do those videos and you're on CARE's watch list, you have to be careful. Well, you did a video that was

pretty fucking ballsy where you showed the actual history of Muhammad as opposed to the history of Jesus, like the difference between the Christian religion and the Islamic religion. Right. It's pretty ballsy. And when you did that, is that when?

It was before that. That was a sequel. That was the Quran Challenge 2. And I remember this was before I was at Fox News. I called Andrew Breitbart, the first one, and I put it up. I go, there's some backlash, Andrew. Can you help me? He goes, I'm going to get it to the online guy at Fox.

And he said, when you're dead, it's a story, kid. And he hung up the phone. What? That's what he said? That's what he said. Oh, that's rude. Yeah, that's rude. How rude.

So the second one, but I mean, even you as someone who doesn't subscribe to either faith, you know, my whole point is you can point to imperfect people on any side of the spectrum, but go to the founders. And there's a huge difference with Muhammad. So we actually showed, you know, what a six-year-old, nine-year-old girl looks like, who his wife was. It's not the same as a 14-year-old, which was normal. Well, you showed a girl that was actually older than his wife. Yes.

Yeah. You showed like an 11-year-old. Is that what you showed? I think so. She was like 10. Actually, her dad is a brilliant jiu-jitsu guy who runs a school in Dallas. It's kind of fucked up when you stop and think about the history of a lot of religious stories. I mean, if you go back and think about what was acceptable 2,000 years ago, 1,000 years ago, 1,500 years, whatever it was.

You're talking about a completely different era. And that's one of the problems with enforcing a lot of religious scripture today. You know, like there's many things that people do in the Bible. My favorite is religious people that get tattoos. And I'm like, like if you're a Christian, you get a tattoo, you just, you got to read the whole book. Okay. Cause you're not supposed to get tattoos. Well, no, they would say, they would argue that Christ came to, you know, change the law and abolish laws. They're not beholden to some of like the dietary laws or the fabric laws. Bacon. Bacon.

Yeah, exactly. That's just really what it was. The fabric laws. The fabric laws. Do you understand why those exist? You're not allowed to have two different types of cloth. Do you understand why that exists? I would assume the fabric law has to do with the people that were constructing the fabrics

back then, that they had like gang wars between silk and cotton. No, kind of. But what it was, a big reason for that, you have certain laws that were applicable to everyone, like the Ten Commandments. And then you had laws that were designed to separate the Jewish people. That's like a team jersey. Because everyone else is doing this, so your beard's going to be this way. Your fabric's going to be this way. And so that's where brilliant theologians far smarter than myself will say, well, this is why these laws apply and these laws don't.

But my point is, I don't have a problem with, you know, like Tom Cruise. I even stood up when he was like, he jumped on a couch. I don't really care. He's a little nutty, whatever. What does that have to do with religion? Well, Scientology. Everyone's going, Scientology messed up his brain. But jumping on the couch, did you think that had to do with anything?

Well, my point is, a lot of people said, you know, Scientology's messed him up. I don't have a problem with Scientology. I don't have a problem with Buddhism, Hinduism. I don't. There is one religion right now in this world, one religion where over 300 million people right now on Earth believe that you deserve to die if you leave the Islamic faith. These are the people who will answer yes when you say,

if someone converts from Islam, do they deserve to be executed? Yes. Over 300 million people in the world right now. So when you say it's like the small minority, it's because you live this privileged life, ironically enough, in the United States, and you're not acknowledging the founder of the faith, what his callings were, and how every Islamically run country acts. It's not the same thing. It's not the same as any other religion. And that's what I was pointing to. You can find hypocrites, you can find crazy

Scientologists, you can find crazy Christians, but don't look to Christians. Look to Christ. And you may not like Christ. You may think he's weird. Don't look to Muslims because you have Muslim refugees now going into Germany, Syrian refugees who want welfare dollars for cigarettes. That's not Muslim. Look to Muhammad. Muhammad did kill. Muhammad did call for the deaths of Christians and Jews. Muhammad did screw a six, maybe nine-year-old girl. He beat her, but only lightly so you couldn't see bruises. If she was dressed up as a ninja, that's not hard to do. These are different things and people need to acknowledge it. And the left that labels me a racist, that labels you right-wing because you have a different

opinion and you go off the reservation, all of a sudden just completely ignores that and sort of accepts it as cultural relativity. Well, you don't really understand the reason a woman needs four witnesses when she's had the crap raped out of her. We're going to ignore that and talk about some people here who are pro-life because their hands are on your uterus. And that's what bothers me. Well, I get bothered by any ideology that's rigid. Anytime you have to subscribe to a bunch of rules, you have to fast during a certain time of the year, you have to wear a certain outfit, the women can't drive, they're not allowed to go to school. Anytime you have really rigid ideologies, and then those ideologies, you find out that they're ancient and they're established by a warlord.

I mean, that is what Christianity, that's the difference between Christianity and Islam. Yeah. Like Jesus was supposed to be a man of peace peace and Muhammad was supposed to be a warlord. Right. I mean, that is, that's. He held political office. He waged wars. He beheaded people.

He did all those things. It's a fundamental difference in the ideology. And it's, it's, it shows itself in the behavior of the people that are a part of the ideology. In their minds, this is all, it's all like guaranteed in scripture. It's all in their eyes. What they're doing is all halal. Everything is, you know. Yeah. Halal. It's, you know, it's one of those things. It's also political ideology and legal prescription. That's what people don't understand. They go after Ben Carson and say he's a bigot. So he's black, right? All conservatives were racist. And then when

Clinton announced her nomination, all conservatives became sexist. So with Ben Carson, well, he's a bigot. So he's black, right? All conservatives were racist. And then when Clinton announced her nomination, all conservatives became sexist. So with Ben Carson, well, he's not really racist. Well, we'll say he's a bigot because he said he thought that he would have a problem with a Muslim president who supported the actual ideals of law in the Quran, Sharia law. And they asked him, they said, well, what parts do you have a problem with? And, you know, Ben Carson, he goes, it's not unreasonable at all. He goes, well, you know, I think that there are parts that are impossible to rectify with the constitution, well, you know, I think that there are parts that are impossible to rectify with the Constitution, like, you know, the treatment of women, the requirement of witnesses for a female rape, the subjugation of all non-Muslims, the dimitude and the poll taxes,

which, of course, couldn't be allowed in the United States. So I believe that we'd have to have a Muslim reject those precepts if they were going to be. Oh, my God, he's anti-Muslim. Like, that's a reasonable position. It's a very reasonable position. His gun thing was a reasonable thing about the Nazis entirely reasonable The term Islamophobe too is a very disingenuous term like that term drives me nuts Like if you criticize Islam you're Islam a phobic. What is a phobia phobia is a fear you fear of irrational religions Yes, I have a fear of those.

I'm also afraid of the Moonies. I'm afraid of a lot of cults. Yeah. You know why? Because I don't think anybody should be able to tell you how the fuck you should think. I think the idea of having a government and having laws that are established by the people, for the people, that make sense, that give people equal freedom, that give people equal say, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom to practice whatever you feel as long as it doesn't infringe upon

the rights of other people. I think all those things are great. I think as soon as you have any sorts of ideologies that infringe upon those things, and the fact that progressive people, which is really weird, they'll shit on Christians all day long and have no problem with it, but they leave Islam alone. Yeah. And the reason why they leave Islam alone is because they don't want to get killed. And that's the reality. They're Islamophobic. Exactly. Well, that's the real Islamophobia, is that they're not criticizing it. Criticizing

it is not Islamophobia. It's just a legitimate criticism. It's a ridiculous idea. They're all ridiculous. I think anytime you buy into some rigid shit that was created way before people understood the world, way before people understood science, way before people understood the distance between the earth and the sun, the moon, the rotation of the earth. I mean, think about all the shit that happened to Galileo when he tried to say that the earth wasn't the center of the universe. I mean, that's all religion. The Inquisition, it's all religion. There's so many things that have been done, horrible things in the name of the ideology. And just as much in the name of atheism, of course.

Michael Shermer had an interesting piece on the differences between Islam and other religions. And it was all essentially saying that it was the one religion that didn't go through the enlightenment that all these other religions all these other religions they sort of morphed and adapted to the new information you know obviously some less than others and obviously some i mean when you see the fucking pope dressed up like a wizard you got to go well obviously he's got some of that old crazy shit in his fucking war chest. But this Pope is Bernie Sanders in a funny way. He is, right?

He's an interesting one. I think he's a faker. I think what they did is they found some guy and they go, look, we're going to keep this thing rolling, right? We like to have the gay bathhouse right above the Vatican. I mean, they own the largest gay bathhouse in Europe. You know that, right? Do you know the whole story behind it? I don't even want to get into the whole story behind it.

Let's talk about Islam. Why are you scared? I'm not Catholic. Well, I am. Well, I was raised Catholic at least. Yeah, well, that's also very different, you know. And one thing that you're right. I just don't want to create a moral equivalency.

I think we can agree that pragmatically, even if they have a gay bath house, it's not the same as hundreds of millions of people who want you and I blown up. No, it's not. And that's never changed. I mean, I think there's a difference in Catholicism. Like, first of all, they, you know, there's, there's no proselytizing. They're trying to convert people. They do obviously shield child molesters. I mean, that was one of the reasons why the last Pope had to step down.

And that guy, the reason why the Vatican has so much power. That's why Ratzinger had to step down? Oh yeah. You know, he's wanted for crimes against humanity. They want to prosecute him for crimes against humanity. That guy shielded child molesters to the point where one of the guys he shielded went on to molest 100 plus deaf children. I mean, they fucking sent him.

They would take. Didn't even hear him coming. Oh, how dare you? How dare you? How dare you sneak that one in? Sorry. But he was one of those guys that actively shielded people from prostitution. Well, I have a problem with that.

I think people toss religion into the same thing as people of faith. And, you know, Islam doesn't allow any sort of practice of faith or relationship, whatever you want to call it, outside of their very specifically prescribed doctrine. When you talk about specifically prescribed doctrines, like how much of the Bible do you believe is real? You know, do you want to get into each and every issue of the Bible? Well, how about dudes coming back from the dead? I'm not going to get into it. Here, you know what I think?

Here's what I think. Here's what I think, Joe. To be fair, and this might take a real turn where you might get angry, but I hope you don't. I doubt it. It's intellectual lakito when you do that. You need to have a Dinesh D'Souza on or a Lawrence Tisdall on, because you can say these things. I'm not equipped for it. I'm a blue belt. I've looked at the swath of evidence and have made up my mind. But if you say this stuff is crazy,

well, I've made my decision and it's likely to change. And I'm likely, my faith has changed. Has it changed in the past? Yeah, I think certain parts of my faith have changed, but my point is, until you have someone on like that who's qualifying to do it, the same people who are going to be talking about sorry, 9-11 being an inside job, or whatever it is, someone who's just as qualified. Who's qualified to talk about 9-11 being an inside job? I'm saying you have those conversations. Black helicopters!

Yeah, black helicopters. I'm saying, until you have someone on like that. Jet fuel doesn't melt. Let me finish this point. This is important. Until you have someone on like that, you're a monkey fist and joe rogan baby monkey i would do that and do that with my opponent kung fu guy you're doing that intellectually because you're not having someone who would be able to argue those points i'm not here to argue in all fairness guess what i can't argue those points either if you have someone like that i would have to bring on an actual religious scholar who's an atheist. Yeah, but I mean, you know, you obviously have your, you push it and you have every

right to. It's your program. And you do as well. If you go on and say that you're a Christian and I say, well, what do you believe? Yeah. I think just between two gentlemen, that's a fair discussion. Yeah, but it's no, there's, there's no doubt that the way you approach it is certainly more aggressive than someone who's an atheist.

Than someone who is an atheist? Yeah. You give them more of a pass than someone who maybe claims to be a Christian. But that's not even the main focus on what I talk about. You know, guns, free speech. I'm saying, okay, I got confused. So you're saying I give atheists more of a pass. Yeah, you give them more leeway.

Oh. And my point is... Well, they don't believe in anything, but I do... Sure they do. Sure they do. Millions and millions of people killed in the name of atheism. Stalin, Mao... No, no, no, no.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. That's not what, no, no. That's not what I mean. No, but I'm talking about they do believe in ideology, a lot of them. There is an atheist ideology, the new atheism. Okay, but the atheist ideology doesn't involve mysticism and magic. Right? Some of it does. What? Like what does? When you have people who don't, well, let's use it this way, right?

Let's say I don't understand the Bible in its entirety. I'm not a theologian. Do you really think the people who are going to be right now going, this guy's a dumbass, understand the intricate science of the Big Bang? Well, I don't think anybody understands the Big Bang. No, they don't know what it does. Richard Dawkins doesn't understand it.

So there's no mysticism. Pretty sure something happened. There's no mysticism to that? Well, there's definitely, I mean, Terrence McKenna had this brilliant thing about science, you know, and he was saying

that science wants one miracle. They want one miracle. Give us one miracle and then we'll allow everything else. Yeah. We'll figure out,

we'll explain to you multi-celled organisms, we'll explain to you carbon molecules. What we want is one miracle. How did life come from non-life? No, the Big Bang itself is the one miracle. That's what I mean.

How did something come from nothing? Well, not just something come from nothing. How does something smaller than the head of the pin explode and become the entire universe? How does something that has so much mass and is so fucking infinitely small, why does it explode? Like, why does it explode? Like, why does it explode? Even saying that the Big Bang existed, I've never heard someone adequately explain, maybe I'm wrong, but adequately explain why it happened. Right.

I don't think they know. Well, yes. And my point is- Do they? Does anybody know? No. Does anybody say they know? Not that I know of. I don't think they say they know.

And that's what Ben Carson argues about. People go, he's a dumbass. Like, well, he's a neurosurgeon. Well, the Big Bang is one of the ones that I think you got to go, well, I think they think that this happened because they have radio frequencies that they can discover and they can monitor and measure. And we know. Well, Dawkins' explanation. How do you say there's no mysticism that maybe maybe these cells came on the back of crystals? What is it? What's that? That's what he said in the movie with Ben Stein

Well, maybe we think that maybe some of these molecules came in, you know on the backs of foreign crystals Foreign crystal crystals came in the Big Bang. How do we get this life? I mean was questioned on it. I'm thinking that sounds mystical to me I think at a certain point something is taken on faith. My point is this but we're arguing about about is Islam, Christianity, all others. We're talking pragmatically. What's the effect? What's the geopolitical effect? What are the ramifications? I think it's really easy to simplify. And you'll have people in the comment section going, well, so you believe in zombie Jesus who, you know, didn't exist. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It's just as easy for someone to say, so you, someone who's not you, but you in your lounge chair with

a box of Cheez-Its who has no concept of science. Again, you're demeaning these poor people. Has no concept of science whatsoever. In your parents' basement, jerking off into a sock. Believes that a bang happened and all of a sudden Joe Rogan's drinking his fresh French press. You can simplify anything and make it sound absurd. And that's why I go back to I think they're smart people, smarter than me on both sides. And my mind is likely to change. My mind is not likely to change

in the second amendment. My mind is not likely to change on free speech. It's not likely to change in the fact that, uh, Muhammad was a bastard. Well, I'm certainly with you on a lot of that, but I think that what they're talking about when they're talking about mystical occurrences during the time period of written history, which is what they're talking about when they're talking about mystical occurrences during the time period of written history, which is what they're talking about when you're talking about the age of Jesus. These are like times where we do understand the parameters of actual possible things that could have happened. Sure. You know, like people coming back from the dead. We have no evidence ever that anybody's ever been able to come back

from the dead. I mean, it doesn't seem likely that that's true. Yeah, but that's a whole different conversation. Well, we also know that people are full of shit. Is there a possibility of a miracle? Which you require for the Big Bang and I require for someone returning from the dead. I don't necessarily think I require a miracle for the Big Bang. I think there's missing

science. I think that there's, look, first of all... And there's missing evidence from the... A good example, right? This argument you're using right now. Okay. I'm not a theologian. I'm not an artist. But an argument that was used for a long time is kind of what you're using. There's no proof of this. Well, for the longest time, people said because David was this huge influential historical

figure, right? And they're going, well, David, up until 1993, they're going, this is a guy, this giant kingdom, right? This is the guy. There should be some historical evidence. And there's none. Until 1993, they're going, this is a guy, this giant kingdom, right? This is the guy. There should be some historical evidence. And there's none until 1993. Boom. More evidence than you could possibly imagine on David, his name on Marble Stone. Here is David.

Here is his kingdom. As a historical figure, now nobody denies that he existed. And nobody denies that the lineage of the kings who were listed in the Old Testament existed when they claimed to. Now, before that, the big argument was there would be some kind of proof of King David and there isn't. So absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Yeah. The real issue with that argument is anytime you're dealing with things that are 2000 years old plus, like good luck finding anything.

Yeah. But we did. Yeah. I mean, we find some things, but I'm saying like saying, I'm arguing for you. I'm saying like saying that something doesn't exist because we haven't found evidence. Like, boy, there's not a lot of evidence from 2000 years ago. Right. I mean, that is a long fucking time and 2000 years of erosion and water and natural disasters and all. I mean, everything gets lost. We have a great bit on that. And I actually had a bit similar that sucked and

axed it. Um, cause you said it better was if I send you into the forest, how long you send me an email I said if I send you into the woods with a hatchet how long you can send me an email sorry I butchered it it's a great bit yeah simplifies it and I was like I had a bit about like going back to the witch trials and trying to explain to them you know germ theory in a microscope and it just didn't work and I heard you do that and I was like all right well I'm just getting rid of that well my bit was about dumb people outbreeding smart people. And by the way, this came out before that. What is that movie about retards? Idiocracy. Idiocracy.

It came out. The bit was on TV before Idiocracy. Okay, so people, you stole a bit. Nope. It was actually before that. It's almost exactly like yours on vegans and milk. Oh, interesting. But I'm not axing it because I like it.

Keep it going. Anything. I'm on your side. I have your permission. I'll let you steal my shit. It's already on TV. There's evidence of me doing it because I like it. Keep it going. I'm on your side. I have your permission. I'll let you steal my shit. It's already on TV. There's evidence of me doing it back to 08. Well, I was doing it before that.

Were you doing the vegan bit before 8? Milk? Yeah. It had to be formed. It took a while. I put it on TV. I have like a 25-minute vegan bit. I put it on TV, I think, in 2013, 14.

It was in Colorado, Rocky Mountain. Yeah, but I had ideas for that for a while. The milk part was just one part of it. The real part was about they won't shut the fuck up about being vegans. Yeah. But the thing about the idiocracy thing was about the pyramids. It was about dumb people outbreeding smart people. And that, like, if one day, like, what would we do if one day no one fucked the smart people

and we didn't even realize that they died off? And then one day the power just shuts off. And what do you do when the power shuts off? I don't know what you do, but I just sit around and wait. Because I figure, well, there's somebody fixing that shit. Yeah, someone's going to fix it. Yeah. But after a while, like, we'd be wandering through the streets like, who's fucking turning

the power back? Is anybody? Do you guys know? Nothing? You hear anything? Fuck. You go back to your house. If this mic goes out,

you're like, well, okay, there's a wire here. Yeah. And it plugs in there and that's about the extent of your knowledge.

There's very few people because of the compartmentalization of our society, there's very few people, if any, that understand all of it, that understand the power grid, that understand the purification

of the water, that understand the government, that understand the computers, technology, the internet. There's very few, that understand the computers, technology, the internet. There's very few people that could recreate all the things. Yeah. And most of us rely on a bunch of other people that are experts in order to keep this insane

machine that we call technology going. So my theory on the pyramids was that dumb people outfucked the smart people and left behind this whole thing and that the dumb people would show up there was no one in the pyramid they were like hello supposed to get our checks on friday and there's nobody there and then eventually i think somewhere there's some ethnocentricity down there that needs to be uh protested well there was the thing the burning of the library of alexandria i mean that really is kind of evidence of that that's what really would happen i mean then there's the other thing that people like a lot of black people or African Americans want to

talk about, um, you know, the pyramids and that the pyramids were built by black people, but it's, they were built by Africans for sure, because Egypt was Africa and it is in Africa, but the people from the South, like there was, there was blacker Africans that came in and killed the Egyptians that were there and that's why the Sphinx

has an African face, has an African looking face as opposed to you've looked at Define African face. Wide nostrils, thick lips. Yeah,

don't you love with Sean King? Yeah. The pictures of him as a kid, strawberry blonde. Do you see him? Yes.

Like strawberry blonde curls? And every picture he takes He's flaring his nostrils. He's breathing in and like that is the most racist thing It's like hold on. Let me get a black black. I do that You look kind of like gorilla II Like a gorilla like, you know sniff. What are you trying to say black people are the girl? No you you son of a bitch I can't believe you well, that's what just happened with Quentin Tarantino When you see that Where he said these savage think pieces people wrote about me, and they go,

he said savage. He's calling black people savages. And it's like, that's the thing with these, you know, Quentin Tarantino is more leftist. Same thing with Matt Damon. I just love seeing these people are progressive and they like to separate from themselves and the social justice warrior cult. It's the monster. They've created it.

They deserve to be devoured. Well, Amy Schumer got attacked. She got attacked for some of the bits that she did on her show. Well, she's up on stage pushing gun control with her third cousin twice removed. I think she deserves it. Well, you do realize that she had a movie that came out, and there was a mass shooting in the movie theater where her movie was being played. I mean, that's got to fuck with your head. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.

Oh, they were playing train wreck while some guy opened fire Therefore I'm directly responsible and I'm going to remove your right to self-preservation I don't follow the logic trail is she trying to remove your right? I mean, yes. What is she trying to say? I don't know what she's actually pushing legislation with Chuck there in New York Chuck who Schumer senator It's yeah part of her. Oh, that is one of her cousins like third removed Just when she's up on stage pushing that. You know, I talk about it. And when you have Sarah Silverman saying it's time for comedians to get with the times.

And when you have Harrison Greenbaum coming on saying, I'll support free speech, but I won't support hate speech. You know, you have a lot of comedians who came out and said that what Nicole Arbor said was just wildly offensive and fat shaming. Nicole Arbor's the girl with the YouTube video? Yeah, the fat shaming thing. See, that YouTube video I I just thought, wasn't well done. And I thought, when she went on The View, first of all, you're walking right into the lion's den. A bunch of chubby broads on that show.

You know? Well, they've come to Raven-Symoné now. Well, what was really hilarious is one of their arguments was, you know, a lot of people just get addicted to certain foods. Like, I think that's what she's saying. Well, yeah, and you have Michelle Collins, comedian on there, Joy Behar comedian yeah, and uh and they're giving her the rules on comedy Well, she didn't do a good job defending herself because she tried to do stick no no no

Michelle Collins and joy Behar should Absolutely feel ashamed for telling her like joy Bayhars going you know, but listen you're skinny blonde You know whatever I make my jokes because I'm fat. I first joke about myself. You have to be. So really, Joy Behar, you're a Christian conservative? Because that's what you make fun of all the time. It's a stupid, stupid idea.

Now they're prescribing rules of comedy once they're offended. And I won't go down that trail at all. And I don't think Nicole Arbor's funny. But that's what they're going to do. They're going to attack you and say, I don't think you're funny. Therefore, you shouldn't say this. They're not going to say. I couldn't agree more Arbour's funny. But that's what they're going to do. They're going to attack you and say, I don't think you're funny, therefore you shouldn't say this. They're not going to say. I couldn't agree more in that way.

Yeah, and I think that what she did was kind of clunky. But, you know, she's not, I don't think she's a real stand-up. Yeah, she is. Is she? Yeah, from Canada. She's not fantastic, but she's a real stand-up. Like I said, I don't think she's a real stand-up. Now, listen.

You know what, though? Think about it, though. I really believe that the... You're kind of in America. Canada? Sort of. It's North America. I really believe that the... You're kind of in America. Canada? Sort of. It's North America. Really?

Do you want to get... Sort of. So I guess all those Canadians there and the shows in which you took part, they were idiots? They weren't funny? Listen, very funny guys, not stand-ups. Yeah, but they're still comedians.

How about that? Well, you know... Comedian actually in French, Canadian means actor, too. I think I asked if they were stand-ups. Oh, okay, stand-ups. Well, she did do stand-ups. Dave Foley's actually doing stand-up now.

At least he was for a while. Last time I spoke to him, he's started doing stand-up to pay the bills. He's got a horrible, horrible, horrible divorce story. Dave Foley, if you go and Google the Dave Foley divorce story, I believe it's online in a YouTube clip that Brandon made it's fucking insane but my point is let's go back this is important okay Michelle Collins yeah joy Behar Sarah Silverman Amy Schumer that should just have your BS meter flinging on it should be going firing so hot you're you're

you're catching ghosts fat no not that but when Sarah Silverman Silverman says it's not hard to get with the times. When Amy Schumer pushes for gun control. Well, what is Sarah Silverman saying that about? About gun control? No, she was saying that about comedy. What is she saying about getting with the times? When she was asked about what is allowable and what's not, she's like, well, you know, I defend free speech, but yeah, it's not hard to get with the times.

Like, I used to say gay, and I don't think you should say that. And she's basically saying- Like that's gay? Yeah. Now, but it's not about that's with the times like I used to say gay and I don't think you should say that and she's basically Saying that's gay. Yeah now, but it's not about that's gay. Mm-hmm. It's about either. It's all okay Jim Norton makes a great art people don't Acknowledge how intelligent he is. Oh, he's very intelligent. I love Jim either all okay, or none of it's okay Well, I had a whole bit about this in my last special You probably saw like the whole thing about about not being able to joke about things right you know and i'm saying i when i say things on stage

when i'm joking i do not mean them they're like i say a bunch of crazy shit and the reason i say that crazy shit is because it's funny right and if it's not funny i wouldn't say it but there's some things that i say that are absolutely not true and i say them just because they're funny but there's some things that are true yeah like here's one my wife is tired of fucking me i go but she's still she it's true but she doesn't she doesn't say no because if she's gonna rape her see that's not true i joke around i go i wouldn't rape her the worst i do is hold her down titty fuck her butt cheeks. That's not true either. I wouldn't do that either. And it's like this whole series of things

that gets more and more preposterous. I go, I'm joking. Do you get it? You see how it's going on here? I'm not raping anybody. She's like one of my favorite people. I wouldn't rape, and then I'd say the rest of it.

But it's like, the idea is, stand up is not, stand up is not truth. It is sometimes truth. Right. But it is what is funny. Which is like Marilyn Manson. And I assume that you know It is sometimes truth. Right. But it is what is funny. Which is like Marilyn Manson. And I assume that you know I'm fucking around.

Right. No, you can't anymore. And here's the thing. The progressive left, sorry, like Silverman's, the Schumers, the Harrison Greenbombs, the Joy Behar's, the Michelle Collins. Why are you apologizing? Why are you saying sorry and then doing it? Well, I'm saying sorry to these names because I know they're probably your friends.

Well, Amy's my friend and Sarah's my friend. And I really enjoyed their... I mean, I was a kid when they were doing stand-up, you know? I think Sarah's one of the best comics on the planet. I really do. But she was a shock comic, of course. That was a big part of her act. Yes, it still is.

And now she's saying it's not hard to get with the times. So really what she's saying is, you can joke about this, but don't joke about this. And it's sort of like the wealthy 1% protecting their wealth. A lot of these established comedians now say, well, what applies to you didn't apply to me. And that's something a lot of these kids now, you're going to see it migrate.

The people who are the real free speech warriors, like the Sargons of a cat, like the Karen Strawns. Maybe they're not all comedians, but they're going to be online. Because stand-up is not the environment that you came up in. You may be able to say what you want to say, but let me paint a picture for you. Okay.

Because you're super wealthy and you're successful and I'm not worthy. But I'm talking about the kid who's coming up in, I don't know, Omaha, Nebraska, or maybe even here at the Laugh Factory at open mic night, who you just- Don't do the Laugh Factory open mic night. They make you stay in line all fucking day

and then you come back a week later. It's bullshit. The point is, that kid gets up and makes a tranny joke. Right. Right? Someone complains and threatens with a lawsuit. maybe the booker isn't a social justice warrior but you think he's gonna you know what let's just book another comic i'm not gonna take that risk that's what happens and for me to see comedians supporting it i think you're seeing this sort of

a passing of the guard with stand up to a lot of these truth tellers online because they're not beholden to those rules right i. I see what you're saying. I don't know what Sarah meant when she said that. I don't know what context she said it in. That's fair. But when you say that she's a shock comic, most of her shocking stuff was kind of self-deprecating. Like, most of her shock...

I mean, she wasn't attacking people. Well, Jesus' magic was... If you look at it, there was a lot of stuff that was designed to prod Christians, which is fine. It's funny. But Christians don't try and kill you. I see what you're saying Well, I haven't seen it called shiny happy jihad. I saw that Yeah, it was it was good. Well. It was a little risky

It was a little risky, but it was like what you did what you did in YouTube that was way more risky Oh, thank you Joe yeah mine was just jokes about like suicide bombers. Well, mine was jokes. But mine jokes were like, you know, that I don't understand suicide bombing because I was raised Catholic. Like, and no Catholics believe in it that much. Right. Like, there's never going to be a Catholic suicide bomber because we just don't believe in it that much. Well, I'm incredibly critical of Catholicism, you know, being raised in Quebec.

People don't understand that in the United States, first off, all the rights you're talking about, ironically, when you're saying you don't want a rigid religion, those rights come from people who said they came from God. It doesn't come from man. It doesn't come from law. So that is a part of our laws here. Well, it also came from people that didn't have the Internet. They were writing things down with feathers. No, but I'm talking about where they come from. That was very unique.

This was the first society that said, OK, these rights don't come from us. They come from God. That was why freedom of speech exists here. But it's also the first society to establish itself, the difference between church and state. Yes. No, exactly. And if you read the, you know, like, for example, the separation of church and state doesn't exist. It's not in the Constitution.

It's written from a, taken from a private letter from Thomas Jefferson to the Danbury Baptists where he was talking about no establishment of a state denomination because they were afraid of a certain denomination taking over. Fast forward, Quebec, where I was raised, I went to public school. I went to Catholic school. Catholicism is the provincial denomination in Quebec. The United States didn't want that. And a big portion of it is if you look in Europe and you look in Canada where Catholicism was so overbearing and you have these beautiful cathedrals in Montreal that are entirely empty. People reject the oppressive thumb of religion. And that's why more Christians exist in the United States. Not because they're stupid and they're bumpkins, but because they didn't have the oppressive religion. So they didn't reject

it as readily. I see. So that makes sense. Yeah. So your public school was a religious school. Yeah, it was. And I was not a Catholic. I got sent home quite a few times for arguing with the teachers. What did you argue about? Um, well, I, I bitched when I wasn't allowed to take communion because I had taken communion with my parents for a long time. And my dad was like, do you understand what this is?

Yeah, I understand. He's okay. Explain it to me. Okay, fine. You can take the bread from the basket, but in Catholic church, you can't do it. It's a whole ceremony. And, uh, couldn't you? Cause I wasn't Catholic. Because you didn't get baptized. I hadn't officially taken it.

You didn't go through catechism. Right, all that. And then I also had one, and this will sound really silly to the atheist audience who aren't Christians, so I'll get off it, but the teacher was talking about, what's a saint, kids? And my school was St. Francis of Assisi. And my parents were always really clear. Like, I had a dad who gave me the sex talk when I was three he gave me sort of three three

Damn, I got sent. I got a call at preschool. This is a My dad sounds like a home alone crook it's like no that's like Dom. I rare is joke Yeah, well he didn't want me to learn about it in school and think it was dirty okay So I got it really young and I actually even preschool Catholic school, Catholic school, they were talking about, what's funny, her name was Miss Mary. And her daughter was in my class, Monica. And so she was giving us the whole, like, stork business. And this is in preschool. Like, I'm four or five.

And I go, no, that's not, let me break it down for you. That's not how it works. But the, and then her daughter was in class. So whatever lie she tells at home, she has to keep alive for the class because her daughter's there. Right. So her daughter's like, there's no egg. It's a tin can in the tummy and a baby grows in a tin can. And at this point, I'm going like, well, my dad told me a penis, vagina, egg cell fertilization.

How old were you? I would have been four. So four, she's talking about tin cans? She's talking about tin cans. And I go up to the teacher. I'm like, well, Monica's saying it's a tin can. She goes, Stephen, it's a tin can. Like a pecan. Oh, what a bitch. And I go

home. Lying to your kid, lying to me. I go home and I'm harassing my dad. I go, dad, is there like a can in a woman's stomach? And this is just who my dad is. He never baby talked to us. He just goes, no, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. I wouldn't lie to you. And that was it. Wow. So I knew that stuff. So you got in trouble for that?

Well, yeah, because she had to keep the life for her daughter. Like, what kind of trouble? They called home like he's being inappropriate. Wow. If that was my fucking kid, if I went to school and this dumb cunt is trying to tell my kid that there's a tin can growing inside some woman's uterus.

Jesus Christ. Well, my dad did. My dad went in and we had a teacher. Well, I'll say her name because I can't stand her. Mrs. Lake Christ. Well, my dad did. My dad went in, and we had a teacher. Well, I'll say her name because I can't stand her. Mrs. Lake. She kicked me out of class. Fucking Mrs. Lake. Mrs. Lake. You know why she kicked me out of class?

Why? Because I said there were 50 states. She argued there were 52. What were the other two? Alaska and Hawaii. But that's 48 and the lower 48. You don't have to tell me, Joe. You don't have to tell me.

Well, didn't Obama fuck that up? He said 57. I think Obama fucked that up. 57. Did he say 57? Yeah. I thought he said 52 as well. No, he said 57.

I mean, it's a word slip. He was probably really tired, too. Yeah, it's a word slip. When he was running for president, you might have how fucking tired that guy must have been. It was when he was running, right? Yeah. Wasn't it?

Especially with how much he drinks. Does he drink a lot? Yeah, it was his annual physical that came back. Like, ah, you're mostly good. Just stop drinking so much. Really? How do you know this? Well, it was released. Yeah,? Yeah, it was his annual physical that came back. Like, you're mostly good. Just stop drinking so much. Really? How do you know this? Well, it was released.

Yeah, people tell me it was his annual physical. Was it recently annual physical? Did you ever see George Bush's physical? No. You may not like him, but you never saw it? He was running marathons. His last year of his presidency, benched 205 for five reps. That's pretty good.

For an old dude. That's not bad. He's got that like chimpanzee wiry strength. You know what I mean? Like that old Charles Bronson deal. Yeah. Well, he does a lot of really shitty paintings, too. You ever see his artwork? George W. Bush? not bad he's got that like chimpanzee wiry strength i mean like that old charles bronson deal yeah well he he does a lot of really shitty paintings too you ever see his artwork never seen his artwork i haven't no oh it's really horrendously bad perfect yeah that's right want to bring up

lena dunham's dad's paintings yeah well i want to also bring up why i keep we keep bringing her up you had a really good video because she sucks that's why i'm bringing her up how dare you you have a real i don't know her i don't know you lena i'm sure you're a very nice person she's not the video was very interesting because you were you were talking about uh this this whole story where she had come up with this book and in the book she was talking about a time that she was raped but you highlighted her actual words that like when she was with this guy, she started talking dirty to him. This is before they even had sex.

Yeah. She started talking dirty and asking him if he wanted to do this and he wanted to do that. Yeah. And then he did those things. And then her friends are saying, oh my God, you got raped. I was raped? Really? Like what kind of a fucking world are we living in that

people are talking about that and not highlighting the ambiguity of talking dirty to somebody. Not highlighting the mixed signals. And you went over that, I thought, very respectfully. I thought you did it very... Oh, and I failed. It wasn't meant to be respectful at all.

Well, you were honest about it. You weren't insulting. I dressed up like Lena Dunham. Yeah? That's true. failed. It wasn't meant to be respectful at all. Well, you were honest about it. You weren't insulting. You didn't know I was insulting. I dressed up like Lena Dunham. Yeah? That's transface now. But if you dress up like me, if you're a girl and you wear this fucking shirt, am I going to be insulted? I don't know. That's not insulting

to me. If you dress like me, I'm not going to get insulted. You would be a guy dressing like a guy. But I'm saying if you were a girl and you dressed like me, would I be like, that insulting bitch. Like, why would that be insulting? I don't understand that. Well, because I mocked her. Well, you mocked what she said.

And you also mocked it because it was being paraded around as if it made sense. And it's fucking confusing. Well, that's the whole problem. There's you. Yeah. Are you wearing a the whole problem. There's you. Yeah, we had... Are you wearing a wig? Yeah. Beautiful.

It's a Bieber wig. I was like... Well, now she's changed her hair so many times, she has a little Lord Faunal ray, or whatever it is. Haircut. I see... Yeah, I guess this is...

This is old. Yeah, it was pretty mocking. No, that's an old one. You did more than one. Yeah. This is a parody one. The other one, you weren't dressed like that. No, I was.

You were dressed like that in the other one? I have my standard Lena Dunham outfit. My point is the media doesn't call her on it. And this is where I talk about we all have blind spots. Not only did they not talk, they didn't call her on it. They didn't make her explain how, like, this is a, like a if you could tell the story because a lot of people probably don't know what we're even talking about

tell the story that is in her book so Lena Dunham claimed she was raped in her book she claimed she was raped by a mustachioed Republican she codenamed him Barry she said it was a night where muscle relaxers Xanax and alcohol took him back to her place she was peeing in a

parking lot and he stuck his fingers in her nether regions. And then she got home and she wasn't sure how she felt about it. And she went ahead with it, talked dirty to him. Then I think while they were finishing up, she saw a condom in the house plant and realized he had taken off a condom. And then the next morning, her friends told her she had been raped. So everyone runs with this and they hold her out as this rape survivor. And here's the thing. It's not that hard to track down the guy she's talking about. I'm not a journalist. It took about three or four phone calls. And I won't get in. I really don't want to go into that because the guy obviously, you know, it can destroy his life, right? He's accused of raping someone, has a wife and kids. Here's the thing too. Well, he wasn't a Republican either, right?

Again, I don't want to get into the personal stuff. Okay. No need to. Because I don't want to destroy his life. I understand. People say rape destroys your life. It does. But falsely accusing a guy of rape is incredibly destructive as well. Yeah.

And they don't have any recourse. The legal system is entirely designed to prosecute. End of story. Right. Same thing if you want to get custody of your kids. So no one called her on it. And that's what I did the video on. That if this is a huge disservice to rape victims, to women who are actually raped.

You know, Lena Dunham goes out and says one in four women are raped. I will tell you this. I don't believe that statistic. In the general population, it's far less. But at, like, feminist film festivals, I think four out of three women are raped. Everyone there claims to have been raped. And you'd think, you know, the more attractive you are, the chances of being raped would go up. Right.

I'm not robbing family dollar. I'm going to go for the jeweler. But apparently there's just an epidemic of purple pitted, fatty, androgynous, ambiguous feminists just getting raped by roaming packs. That's what they want us to believe. Well, it depends on how you define rape because regret is rape. All regretful P in V, what they teach in college. P and V? Regretful penis and vagina.

Regretful penis and vagina is rape. Yeah, that one is a really weird one to me. I talked to Thaddeus Russell on the podcast about Occidental College, where they had that case where these two kids got drunk and they had sex, and the girl was saying to her friends, I'm about to get laid. LOL. You know, are you coming over? Do you have condoms?

Texting this guy. Guy comes over. They have sex. Afterwards, she decides, someone decides that it was rape because she was intoxicated. Completely ignoring the fact that he was intoxicated as well. They were both drunk kids that had sex. And you know what, man? When I was young, that's what it was. It was drunk people as well. They were both drunk kids that had sex. And you know what, man? When I was young, that's what it was. It was drunk

people had sex. And nobody felt like they got raped because they were drunk. My wife rapes me on the regular. People make mistakes. You know, I mean, people I've had sex with people after it was over I was like, I probably shouldn't drink so much. We've all been there before. You went hawking? We've all been there before.

Everybody who drinks and is young and especially when you young, you don't really know how to drink well. You don't have a large database of things to pull back from. Like, okay, I've been down this road before. The third shot of Jack is where shit goes downhill. Right. That's when the purple-haired, five-by-five feminist starts looking pretty good. People make mistakes, man. And you can't say that it's a fucking crime because you both engage in a consensual activity,

but you don't like it after it was over. It doesn't matter. But my point was that kid, the boy, got kicked out of the college. The girl stayed. They were both exactly... They both participated. They both were agreeable. I mean, she asked him, come over. Do you have condoms? He said, I'm on my way.

They got together. They had sex. And because there was alcohol involved, the girl was raped, which is insane. Well, Mattress Girl. Another one. Almost invariably these cases come up and they're just lies. They're just false. Well, the Rolling Stones story. Yeah, the Rolling Stones story. But Lena Dunham is so bad because then she's holding herself out as this rape survivor. And, you know, she's molested her little sister and she's just a bad human being.

And you can bring up her dad's paintings, Carol Dunham. I mean, there's some weird stuff. His name's Carol? Yeah, Carol. Can we bring that up? Her dad's named Carol? Can we do this? Are dudes named Carol?

Carol Shelby. There you go. Carol Shelby. That's all he drew. Wait do this? Her dude's named Carol? Carol Shelby. Yeah, there you go. Carol Shelby. That's all he drew. Wait a minute. What the fuck is that? That's her dad's painting. Oh my God.

Her dad's got a painting of a woman, her ass? No, no, not A. That's all he drew. That was his thing. Just a woman from behind, asses and vaginas. Angry vaginas. In this weird cart. Yeah, they're like baboon asses. Yeah. Now you don't think some weird stuff went on

in that household? Whoa! And this is the girl, I mean, she what did she do to her sister? There was something that she admitted that she had done. Something like she reached in with her fingers, she said, because her sister put pebbles in her vagina. And she also said she would like she acted like a predator where she would try and lure her sister, like pay her

to kiss her. And she masturbated in bed next to her little sister. What the fuck are these drawings? Yeah. You want to tell me this is a healthy, balanced individual? Come on. Like, let's just add up. You can't guarantee it, but add up the pieces to the puzzle.

And she's the feminist. She's the new Barbra Streisand, right? She's out there. And my issue was the media didn't call her on it. Front page HuffPo. CNN, MSNBC,

Lena Dunham bravely comes out about being a rape survivor. And when I see leftists going to corporate media man and they're buying Lena Dunham wholesale, that's what bothers me.

Look at that one. These pictures are fucking strange. You know, have you ever seen Jack Kevorkchians drawings? I saw, yeah, some of them. Yeah, like, what the fuck, dude?

This is kind of along those lines. Along those lines, where it's like, okay. I mean, I'm a big fan of artistic freedom. You should be able to do whatever the fuck you want, but can we not show this on YouTube? Is that why you're not putting it up online? It's on, I'm flashing by the way. Oh, okay. People are going to have to say they're over 18. Well, it just seems to me like just looking at it over 18 why this

seems to me like god damn it man this is really weird shit so she's raising that it's objectification to mean this isn't just a beautiful there's no face yes just an angry vagina that's what I'm saying well they're all buttholes and anger vaginas and when you do get a head-on view Jamie click on the one above the head-on view you don't see the the face. Look at that girl in the middle there. Yeah, right there. That looks like something from The Ring. Exactly.

It's creepy. What the fuck is going on with her nipples? First of all, she looks like she's dead and drowning. Yeah. Right? Or she's drowned and now she's pale and white. That looks like a drowning victim. Her legs are underwater.

He would claim it's pointing out the irony or the patriarchy. I don't know. It's just so silly. Patriarchy. So that's my point is she's emblematic of everything that's wrong with social justice warrior culture. And her show just sucks. She's unfunny.

What show is that? Girls on HBO. I've never seen it. Well, you know what's the perfect example, right? You hear about it everywhere. Everyone, all these Emmys, they're lucky to get 600,000 viewers on Girls. The ratings are terrible, but HBO wants to push it because they believe the messaging is important. What's the messaging? It's all the feminist, leftist, tolerant BS that Lena Dunham pushes. They've decided Lena Dunham is important enough

that they're going to prop her up, despite the fact that an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm or Game of Thrones can get ten times the viewership. But it's important for the rape survivor to have a show, and it's not true. Is that really why you think they do it? You don't think that it's a for-profit enterprise? Why would they do it? Otherwise, well don't you think they think they do it because it like balances out their programming or makes them seem more? erudite Balances it out from what HBO is always to the left no one like thinks like Game of Thrones isn't to the left Game of Thrones is inconsequential. It's you know, kids who will argue. It's fucking awesome. First of all, watch your tongue, sir.

I'm not a big fan. How dare you? I'm not a big fan. My friend Natasha Leggero, she calls it make-em-ups. She doesn't like any fiction. She's like, I don't like make-em-ups, because they just make shit up. Like, oh, all of a sudden she gave birth to dragons. You can't just make stuff up like that.

But you can in Game of Thrones. I don't know. I just couldn't get into it. Walking Dead is my show. Okay. Here's my take on The Walking Dead. The new one is fucking better. I like The Walking Dead. It's better. With the dead, he's always played a terrorist until this role. He's only ever been... Poor guy.

But you know what? He broke out of it, man. He did. Good for him. You know what? Broke through the brown ceiling. There's an episode I don't want to bring it up, but when he went jogging, I don't want to bring it up. What am I lying? He went jogging and he comes home, he's all sweaty. And then the next scene, he doesn't have any sweat. And then the next scene, he's sweaty.

In fear of walking back? Yeah, they go back and forth. For him being soaked with sweat and no sweat and soaked with sweat. Very, very shitty job. Whoever was the set person that dealt with the wardrobe continuity, the sweat spray well that's a real problem with girls too because Elena Dunham has a severe perspiration problem

she doesn't shower as well what do you mean she doesn't shower I'm making stuff up, I want to spread rumors how dare you, see now you're part of the problem I'm just doing Elena Dunham but you are what you are is what they think you are now. I'm just joking. You're being mean and vicious.

I am mean. I am mean with someone like Lena Dunham. You claim rape falsely. I know someone very close to me who was raped. The same thing, you know, my wife and I, we volunteer, but her more so, at a special needs place. And so when people feign this offense that retarded, I've watched special needs people call other special needs people retarded. Well, the problem is retarded doesn't mean Down syndrome. It just doesn't.

And, you know, the real, what they used to put on people's birth certificates when they were born with Down syndrome, they used to call them mongoloid idiots. That was literally what they used to put the medical term for someone who had down syndrome Like what retarded is to retard growth. What does that mean? You are slow You are behind like if you're a fucking dummy you're retarded what you do retarded Like excuse me means sorry I'm late Oh, you're talking to be late to be slow to arrive and comes from this all the romance Oh, you're talking to be late to be slow to arrive and comes from this all the romance languages come from Latin And that's where it comes from. We're just like Negro is not racist until people said it was

Racist and they forgot to tell all the United Negro college funds That's the craziest one National Association for the Advancement of colored people like what That was funny about that woman, you know, the Rachel Dolezal chick who was actually really white and pretended to be black and had the fake tan and all that jazz. It's hilarious. But what's hilarious is she is of color. She's white. You know, I mean, it was not only that, the NAACP was founded by white people, was made by white progressives. And when it was founded, black people couldn't even even hold they couldn't be in a position of leadership

they were allowed to which is kind of fucked up well what's funny what I find so funny about her is now the whole transphobic thing is a new movement I think she has a black baby inside of her she yeah you're pregnant it's like a she's pregnant Cameron sci-fi film listen she's pregnant and you know that she's fucking black guys right she's I and you know that she's fucking black eyes, right? She's so deep. I don't know it for a fact. I wouldn't doubt it.

I'm going to bet a lot. You're going to bet the Joe Rogan podcast fun. I'm pushing the fucking pile of chips in that she fucked a black eye. Now, if there's anything wrong with that,

I have no problem with that whatsoever. I just want to say that right away. But I think maybe she wanted to be a little more black. Well, Sean King, too. I mean, listen, people who don't aspire to be architects, they don't aspire to be scientists, they aspire to be professional victims. That's what you have with Sean King, as we have with Rachel Dolezal.

Well, there's money in that. There's not just money. I mean, I shouldn't say there's money in it, but what I should say is that there's success in that. Oh, absolutely. in it but what i should say that there's there's success in that like absolutely you can tap into that vein quite easily it doesn't require a lot of thinking and you you immediately get people that won't challenge it because it's one of those things like if you if you become one of those people that becomes a professional victim boy you don't get challenged much it's just it's hands and i can see the headlines right now at Salon. Two white guys talk about the black American lifestyle. Well, in all fairness, I am Sicilian, mostly,

and that means that I am of mixed heritage. That means my great-great-grandparents... There's a black man hiding in a woodpile somewhere. They were raped by the Moors. You saw True Romance. That's the fact. My fucking grandparents are from Sicily. There's a black man jumping out of the shed somewhere down with one of your female ancestors. I think it's more of a dark Muslim character, right?

The Moors? I think they were from Africa, though, right? Here's one thing I thought about Rachel Dolezal. You've got right- Do you think about her a lot? I do. I do. The Sideshow Bob just does it for me.

I think- Sideshow Bob? Yeah, the Sideshow Bob hairdo. Oh. I don't even know what that means. Don't you see that it's funny? The Simpsons. Sideshow Bob hairdo. Oh. I don't even know what that means. Don't you see that it's funny? The Simpsons. Sideshow Bob.

Crusty sidekick. That's where it's from. That's right. Can you picture it now? Yeah, I can. Can you bring up Sideshow Bob? Think about this for a second. Well, she had to do that.

Oh, that's hilarious. It's so perfect. That's hilarious. But she had to do that in order to look more black. Well, here's what's so funny. She did the black white girl hair. So she got the perm, but then she liked the light brown. Look, think of Barrett.

You're not the only one. Look, who did it better? But here's the crazy thing, okay? People say, well, transracial's not a thing. Transgender's a thing. Why isn't it a thing? Well, that's what I'm saying. Look, Caitlyn Jenner or Fallon Fox, right?

Caitlyn Jenner can go through hormone replacement therapy, get all the plastic surgery, start changing his voice. And guess what? People see him and they still realize that's a dude. Well, you know what's really funny? Rachel Dolezal slapped on a tan and a perm and fooled the NAACP. You tell me what's more realistic. Well, she did go to an all black college and she got a scholarship there, right?

Yeah. Would she go to Morehouse? I don't know her. I know Sean King got the black thing from Oprah. What do you mean? Yeah, he got some kind of a scholarship for being a victim of a hate crime as a black guy. But what's funny is the actual police report from that crime, he checked the Caucasian

box. No. So it's not only on your birth certificate. That's a who's on first routine at the police station. No. You're a victim of a hate crime? Yeah, it's a black man You checked Caucasian, that's right Oh my god, fuck, I forgot what I was gonna say Because we were talking about, that's so funny

You broke my brain The transgender thing's been coming on so fast That's what it was, my fucking five year old Was watching Caitlyn Jenner On the show Whatever it was I the show, whatever it was, when the I am Kate, whatever. And she goes, Mommy, why is that man dressed like a girl?

The five-year-old said that. And my wife just covered her mouth like this. Yeah. That was me with my dad, Richard Simmons. Because my daughter was serious. She was serious. She's like, Mommy, why is that man dressed like a girl? And if you don't say it's normal, it's hateful. If you say it, that's a little weird. She was serious. She's like, Mommy, why is a man dressed like a girl? And if you don't say it's normal, it's hateful.

If you say it, that's a little weird. She's beautiful. You go, girl. My friend Whitney Cummings, I've talked about this too many times. I can't talk about it anymore. She put it on her Instagram. Hero. With a picture of him.

I'm like, I don't see a fireman. Yeah. Okay? I don't see a first responder. And he killed a guy. Yes. A girl. Woman.

Oh, girl. That's right. A real woman. Pushed her into traffic by spacing out behind the wheel. Well, you had that tranny on here, Buck Angel, who challenged me to a fight because I wrote about Fallon Fox. And I was like- What did you write?

I wrote that, okay, this was my argument. This was a long time ago. I wrote it when I was at Fox News. And before anyone else was talking about it, I said, okay. Because it wasn't really a national story. Right. Christiane Cyborg, right? She had her belt removed at Strikeforce because they found out she popped for steroids. Remember?

Because she took male hormones. Male hormones, right? So they said, okay, that's enough or we're going to take away your belt. Right? Why? Because there's an unfair advantage. Well, it's not just an unfair advantage. It's a banned substance.

It's not even natural to your body. Right. Well, my whole point is Fallon Fox has been taking steroids her whole life. They're called balls. Because if you actually look at a woman taking steroids, it's still nowhere near the hormonal advantage that a man has over a woman. As a matter of fact, Arnold Schwarzenegger, like a walking human pincushion in his prime, doesn't enjoy the hormonal advantage over me

that I enjoy over the basic woman. It's that much of a gap. So to act like it goes away because, you know, you, you, you, you grab a hair straightener and you put on a bikini, it's just not accurate. And she, and Buck Angel was like, oh, damn. I'm like, first off, there's a reason for weight classes. Secondly, of course we need to have the HIV testing, all that. Cause you're a porn star. Thirdly, I'm not going to fight you. You wouldn't fight Buck? No. Buck's a nice guy, but he's not that big, and you're a lot bigger person. And Buck has a female frame. He has small hands and small shoulders. That's the whole thing, but it's hiding behind the bully pulpit, right? A woman like that nowhere else would be like, hey, Steven, I want to fight you.

But because you said this about Fallon Fox, which is entirely accurate, by the way, and I stand by it, I walk it back zero. The whole trans community has to tell me I'm hateful. Meanwhile, Fallon Fox just beating the crap out of women. And you know, there's no technique there. Fallon Fox is not a good fighter. It's just pure strength. It looks very much like domestic violence. Well, it does when you watch it.

It really does. Yes, it does. And she's not very technical. And there's also really a problem. My friend Steph Daniels wrote a piece for Bloody Elbow. She wrote several pieces about this issue, and she did a very good job of being completely objective and interviewing a bunch of different experts on it.

And she found that there is a big discrepancy between gender reassignment doctors, quote unquote, experts who have one opinion on it, that you are a woman now, you have no advantages whatsoever. And those are the people that they've talked to the IOC and they've made it so that in the Olympics Olympics there's no discrepancy. But my position is as a combat sports expert, I think there's a giant difference between having a male frame and a female frame. Then there's this woman, Dr. Ramona Krutzik, who is – they wrote a piece for Bloody Elbow. And she went into great detail. She's an endocrinologist. Sure.

Board-certified endocrinologist went into great detail about the significant advantages in bone density and the fact that the bone density not only does it not decrease with the use of estrogen, but estrogen is, in fact, what keeps bone density in women. That's one of the reasons why when women drop their estrogen as they get older, they start getting osteoporosis. And so she was saying that you have an advantage. It preserves it. Not only that, there's advantages in terms of reaction time.

The average man has a- Men are better at everything physically. Let's just be honest about it, okay? 10% faster reaction time than a woman, which is massively significant when you're talking about striking. When you see guys like Roy Jones Jr., they lose a tick still faster than you or me, by a long shot. I don't know, bro. I don't know, bro. I branched 275, bro. Dude. I hear you, bro. You don't

know the rage that I get. I don't. I'm mental. Why did you go into Joey D's head? I don't know. That was Dom Herrera again. Was it Dom Herrera? Yeah, I'm mental. I didn't mean to insult your impression. You'd have to kill me. But the reaction time's quicker. And also the fact that you live your whole life as a man. Like your body is, your tendon strength. There's so many different things. So Dr. Ramona Krutzik puts this piece out. They fucking attack Steffi.

They attacked her. Great job ruining all your great work. Because she had interviewed all these different people with different opinions. It wasn't even her opinion. She went to a board certified endocrinologist who had an objective point of view. And this person said, yes, there's significant advantages. Here they are scientifically laid out. Here's something I wrote about that no one else really talks about. All these organic sort of leftist hippie granola, right? They want organic and they don't want BPAs. Well, what's the big problem with BPA, right? You know, xenoestrogens, the people talk about it, mimics estrogen in the body,

and that leads to cancer, right? Too much estrogen in the body. They talk about that, drinking hormones in the milk. They talk about that with BPA and pesticides. So we all widely acknowledge that estrogen elevated beyond normal levels in the human body is probably not great, right? For human health. When injected directly into your ball sack, however, we're supposed to turn a blind eye and say, well, the science isn't in yet for the

transgender community. But don't drink from that plastic bottle. Make sure it's a mason jar. They got lids for that. But when they're doing direct estrogen injections, well, we don't know really. Well well then don't buy organic and drink up your bpa it becomes an ideological issue more than becomes a scientific issue and you you are not allowed it's like we were talking about when we were talking about abortion earlier you're not allowed to have a varying opinion right like you have to stay within the lines like you said that I'm considered You know I'd be considered left-wing by a lot of people, but I'm on I'm in the NRA

I'm not I didn't want to bring it up. I can't be left-wing. I talk about it I think you should be allowed to have guns. I don't think that guns are bad I think we have a I wrote about this that we have a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem And that's that's a real problem problem disguised as a gun problem. And that's a real problem. There's a real issue with mental health in this country. And I don't know if it's unique to this country or if the problem is that these people that have these mental health issues have more access to guns than they have in other states or in other countries, rather. But I don't think the issue is removing the guns. I think the issue is trying to figure out as an advanced society with a nuanced objective point of view why people would ever want to kill a bunch of people they don't know.

What is it that is causing folks to do that? Not what are the tools they're using to do that. That doesn't make any sense to me. And taking those tools away from people that would never do that. I know so many hunters and so many people that are gun enthusiasts that are the nicest fucking people in the world and don't do a goddamn thing wrong Every day and to think that you can take away their rights the own firearms because One crazy person does something right? What are we gonna do if crazy people just drive into crowds?

What are we gonna do when someone? stomps on the gas and heads towards an outdoor mall just plows over a bunch of people because they have demons in their head or because they didn't take their pills that day. I mean, are we going to take away the right to drive? I mean, it seems like we're going down that road anyway with these cars that are going to be self-driving. I mean, there's going to be issues involving the rights of people to

just decide to go out for a drive. The Second Amendment is the right to self-preservation. You know, and people go like, well, why do you get so... Oh, it was made back when people had muskets. Right. Well, I did a video on that. You do realize that's completely untrue. You have a loose penis. Small penis. Have you heard of the puckle gun?

Girandoni air rifle? Belt and flintlock? You know those guns? Yes. Those could fire 30 rounds in a second, you know, or 20 seconds. We have a letter from, I think it was Madison, to a private ship where they said, hey, can we have cannons to stop piracy? Second Amendment, of course you can have cannons. So they knew, as a matter of fact, they had placed orders for some of these high-capacity, really advanced weapons that just wasn't cost-effective for the American government.

When was the Second Amendment drafted? Gosh, I'm terrible with numbers. But the Puckle Gun and the Belt and Flint Lock and a lot of these guns already exist. Was it before the outlaw Josie Wales Gatlin gun? Yes. Those were the shit. Yeah. Well, I did a video on it.

I'll send it to you afterward. December 15, 1791. Drafted, yeah, Bill Wright's. Hmm, interesting. That's why I never do the numbers thing. Well, 1791, the guns sucked, let's be honest. Look at the belt. Google belt and flint lock, puckle gun.

Please, Google it. Girondoni air rifle. That's what they used to outfit Lewis and Clark. The Girondoni air rifle. Really? Yeah. Fascinating weaponry. First off, that's not the argument you want to get into.

That's not the argument, no. Because the First Amendment doesn't only apply to a printing press. Right. It doesn't. Well, the Leos didn't have the internet back then. People had feathers. They wrote with feathers. You can't just put anything you want on a blog.

Right. I mean, that's really the argument, right? Isn't that the argument? Frank is a comic you've had on this show. Well, how about fucking Hunter S. Thompson? I mean, if anybody violated what a lot of people would think the First Amendment should stand for, that guy took real facts and added fiction to them. Right.

And that was the First Amendment. I mean, he was allowed to do that. I mean, he caused a fucking political candidate running for president to lose his mind because people thought that he was on Ibogaine. The guy had mental breakdowns. I mean, you know the whole deal with Ed Muskie when Ed Muskie was running for president? Oh, my God. You got to see the movie.

Is it Fear and Loathing? What is it? The documentary. What is the documentary? Gonzo. Yeah. But what is it? It's Gonzo, and then there's something else behind it. Whatever. It's a fucking fantastic documentary.

Now, that's the moment right there where I could have just lied. Do you realize that? I see people do that, like, do you know this? And I could have said, yes. People do that all the time. Gonzo, the life and work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. That's amazing. It's an amazing documentary It's so fucking good, but it goes in a great detail about how he would just add fiction. Yeah to stories He was a journalist But he would just make shit up and so he made this shit up about them bringing in a Brazilian doctor because they knew that muskie Had some ibogaine addiction and he goes there was a rumor going around, you know

And so he was on I think was a dick Cavett show. It's a fucking hilarious interview And he was well, there was a rumor going around. And so he was on, I think it was a Dick Cavett show. It's a fucking hilarious interview. And he goes, well, there was a rumor going around. I started the rumor. Well, like Lena Dunham has a perspiration problem. Did you start that rumor? Well, everybody, I have a perspiration problem. I came here from yoga class, man.

I was soaking wet. That's true. You came from yoga class. Now, the Second Amendment goes back to the issue of you whether you believe in self-preservation or not. And that's why I know Amy's a friend of yours. But when she gets up there and she's pushing gun control, every single show— What is she pushing, though, specifically when someone says gun control?

We wrote about it at letter with Crowder. I believe in gun control. I believe that crazy people shouldn't be allowed to have guns. I believe that if you have a history of violent behavior and a history of violent crime, you shouldn't be able to go to a store and buy a gun. I bet you believe the same thing. I don't want to misspeak as to what it is store and buy a gun. I bet you believe the same thing. I don't want to misspeak as to what it is that Chuck is specifically pushing. But don't you think those things? Well, I do think those things, but I also don't believe in leaving it to the...

So that's gun control, right? Well, no, because the... Now, see, that's one thing where everyone goes, well, yeah, of course we don't want crazy people getting guns. Right. But do you really want the government then deciding who's mentally fit? If you've taken a Xanax, you're not mentally fit. You ever had anxiety?

Right. Nick Diaz and your prescription for anxiety, marijuana, you can't buy a gun. No, I don't believe that we have the parameters yet to determine that. Well, do you realize that federally for the longest time that was actually the case? That if you did have a prescription for medical marijuana, because it's federally

illegal, you weren't allowed to have a handgun. Or you weren't allowed to have a rifle. Well, that would make sense. I mean, Barack Obama's, you know, federally prosecuted even people in Colorado. He's talked about that, that he doesn't allow him to have a rifle. Well, that would make sense. I mean, Barack Obama's, you know, federally prosecuted even people in Colorado. He's talked about that, that he doesn't really want to leave that to the states. I don't want to get off on the pot thing, because we actually agree on that. But the gun thing is, it's an instinct for

self-preservation. So, a lot of these celebrities, for example, I get really bothered personally because I've had to put my wife under security watch because of angry Muslims and union members. And when someone like me... Union members came after you? Yeah. For what?

You're one of those guys, I can bring something up and you go, yeah, that too. Oh, you have a bunch of people here saying I doctored footage. I was punched in the face on national television. For what happened? I was at a right to work rally. It was being passed in Michigan. And I was there arguing with people and a drunken guy wailed me in the face, and there were about 5,000 union members. They tore down a whole tent for people who were pro-right to work.

You can Google it, and people will say the footage was edited, but there's also 12-minute footage that I put up on my channel. What union? Which union? Oh, it was a meeting of right to work versus a whole bunch of unions. So this was a pretty big deal when it happened. And it's funny my dad watched it, because if you go back and watch it,

people tried to say, oh, you shoved that old guy down, and then he sucker punched you. It's like, well, if that's the case, I was looking for a fight, I would have fought. But there's about 3,000 people there, and I was going to be torn apart. Who said you shoved the old guy, just people in comments?

Oh, it's a whole conspiracy on the internet. And I have a 12-minute video online. Well, I don't even want to get into everything there. You 12-minute video online. You can't pay attention to the internet. Well, I don't even want to get into everything there because of the prosecutor. You're on the internet and you can't pay attention to the internet. How ironic. I know. I don't have the attention span. So am I.

Listen to this. But what's funny is if you go watch it, knowing we talked about jiu-jitsu and stuff, my dad's like, did you grab a collar elbow tie and were you going for your uchimata? I'm like, yeah, I was. So you see me grab him. He's wailing. You were ready to toss him? And I turn my hips, and you can see the footage footage I turn my hips in and I see is like oh

Shoot, there's 2,000 other people and so I just cover. Let's watch no we have to do this. Yes. Yes Back the fuck up So that's a tent that got torn down you're backing up and you backed up well this guy What does he want you to back the fuck up over? So this is where they say, and you know, if you... Oh, there's a... Oh, he's swinging. So see, I turn my hips and then just duck my head and go back.

That's a terrible technique. Your hips weren't low enough. Way too far. You didn't get deep. Way too far. Yeah. Well, I did it. It's tough to watch.

Did you get hit? Yeah, I got hit full line. That was baby punches, though. That guy has shit technique, too. This is terrible. I can't even do commentary for this fight. Well, you're not expecting it. I mean, the fucking guy was winding up roundhouse punches like, God, what an asshole.

Yeah. But I've said this before. Why do people who can't fucking fight at all think they can get in fights? Well, I was getting drunk off secondhand fumes. Not you. Those shitheads. I was saying I was getting drunk second-hand fumes. Oh, he's hammered Yeah, well there's a lot of footage there, but to work right to well they hate right to work What what is right to work so you don't have to be it essentially means you don't have to be in a union to work Right oh, and they so for there is union, like electricians union or something like that.

So if there is a union, you should join their union. People are going to go nuts that we talked about that. Well, there's a real issue with the UFC. I'm sure you're aware of it. The culinary union issue. Well, I sent you that video on legalizing it in New York. I did it a long time ago. Yeah.

We reported on it. And matter of fact, the UFC was Jennifer Wink back then. She was working there. They were like, I don't want to say, they were very controlling until they realized that I wasn't trying to sandbag. I'm like, listen, this is what I'm talking about. I understand the union, the culinary union, and I want it to be legal in New York. But even then they were like, well, can you send us a cut of the video before it goes up? And I was like, no, I can't.

it to be legal in New York, but even then they were like, well, can you send us a cut of the video before it goes up? And I was like, no, I can't. So I interviewed Chael, and I interviewed Pat, and I interviewed Henzo and Henner Gracie, and we talked about it. And that's what a lot of people don't understand, the Culinary Union in Nevada and their vendetta, and we talked about Bob,

was it, you know, the Senator, Congressman there, who said, the reason I'm against MMA in New York is because it's violent. Yeah, that douchebag. He's gone now. He actually called into a show when I was on a show in Albany doing a radio show and he called in to argue with me. Ooh. How'd that go? He had no arguments for us. What about football? What about boxing? He's a corrupt politician. I mean didn't he get busted for corruption? Is that the same guy? When we talk about big money in politics, and we won't have time because I think you probably want me to go soon. Well, no, no.

When people say Koch brothers or big oil, big pharma, you look at the top political donors of all time. 15 out of the top 20 are unions. And I got into this argument over Twitter with Gray Maynard, and he was like, no, bro, it's corporate. I go, listen. No, bro. You want to talk about corporations? Whatever someone says, no, bro. Yeah.

That's Gray Maynard. I think he tweets that. And I was like, listen, these are the top donors. No one wants to talk about big unions. By the way, they give virtually 99% to Democrats. Big banks give 51% Republican, 49% Democrat because they're hedging their bets. Unions, often public sector unions, you have no choice in whether you can join or not in these non-right-to-work states. You join.

They take your dues. And in turn, they use those dues to elect more Democrats who give them more kickbacks. So I just think, yeah, there's a lot of money in politics, but everyone wants to talk about big oil and big pharma, and no one wants to talk about big unions, which is a far more influential force, and they get away with murder. They get away with murder. Well, it seems to be a part of the same problem, right? It's like people get addicted to the money that comes out of that establishment. They get addicted to the money. That's what that establishment they get addicted to the money you know they that's what the culinary union they know that they can make something like 15 million dollars a year

if the station casinos all went union right and the meanwhile the people that work in the casinos have voted against it now i don't know the particulars of the case i don't know i don't know who's being told what to do but i know just know that is what the fact is they did vote and they voted to go non-union but these fucking culinary union guys they've been attacking the ufc forever and they've been doing a lot of creepy shit to the casinos that are non-union they've set up shop outside these casinos and they were insulting people that were walking into the casino just patrons just regular customers shitting on this guy's I mean there's this big thing

The video got released and the culinary union looked horrible for him And it's I'm sure the unions are people in the culinary union just like there's good people in every organization That's fucked ultimately, but the whole it's a mess man. That's a mess the unions in the Midwest Those are the kinds and that's what I was with my lawyers when we're dealing with this. And there was a prosecutor in Michigan who was, we found like almost all of his funding at that incident was the AFL-CIO, which is a big union. And as a matter of fact, I was told there were about 50 people that day, not just me, who tried to file police reports because that whole tent you saw was cut down with box cutters. There was a black guy selling hot dogs whose thing was destroyed. He was called the N-word. This whole

thing happened that day. I still have a piece of the tent. And there were dozens of people who tried to file police reports. And they said, oh, we can't file police reports by phone. It's completely absurd. Of course you can. If someone's raped in Florida and you move back to Ohio, you were on vacation, you can call in and say, my daughter was raped in Florida. So a lot of people tried to file reports. They weren't able to. A lot of people were in the tent when it went down. And the same thing happened, you know, attack the messenger. Oh, well, you really had no business being there. You were provoking it.

Here's the beauty about assault. If I right here go, hey, Joe Rogan, I think you suck. Nanny, nanny, boo-boo, you can't hit me. Guess what? You still can't hit me. Right. That's the law. Right.

You're only allowed to hit someone if you really believe that your life or your health is in danger. Yeah. And most of the time, you've got to be hit first. Yeah. I mean, it's hard to argue otherwise. I mean, if two people are staring at each other and they're yelling at each other and someone decides to throw the first punch, that person is the antagonist.

That's the person who caused the issue. Well, there's mutual combat laws and all that stuff. Well, in Seattle. It's in Washington State. What's the name of the superhero guy? Yeah, yeah. Phoenix Jones. He's a that stuff. Well, in Seattle. It's in Washington State. What's the name of the superhero guy? Yeah, yeah. Phoenix Jones. He's a good fighter.

Yes, he is. That's the fucking problem. He's got the leg kicks. He's fucking very good. Did you ever see that one where he's like, mutual combat? You want to go mutual combat? Yeah. And the guy blows up and he just whack, leg kick, and the guy stops.

He was fucking that. The guy was like, oh, no. Oh, I've made a bad choice. Yeah, he's really good. That's part of the problem. Fyodor. What's his name? Fyodor? Carlos Fodor. Fodor. Yeah, he's really good. That's part of the problem. Fyodor? What's his name? Fyodor?

Carlos Fodor. Fodor. Yeah, that's his brother, right? Well, his brother's a fighter, too. Yeah. I don't know what his name is, but... Yeah, what is his... He calls himself Phoenix Jones, right?

What is his real name? I don't know. He's a fucking very good fighter, though. You could say... It's really almost mean, you know, that he walks around with a superhero outfit on and It's not fair. It's not fair at all. Because he's fucking good, good. He's like. I don't want to fight. I'm here to keep peace But you know deep down. He's like give me a reason Yeah, it's hilarious for him, but he's been stabbed like he's he's like he's had like legit issues

Oh, yeah, broken up fights or stopped robberies and stuff well Well, the worst part is, like, there was one where it was like the domestic abuse case. And he got him. Those are always the scary ones, right? Well, because it doesn't matter. The woman's still going to protect her man even if it's well. So he goes in and separates him. She's wailing on him. You ever seen that?

Have you seen that one? No. I don't even want to see it. Domestic abuse cases, they fucking freak me out because I grew up with that. Well, more women committed than men. Really? Yeah, by far. It's not even close.

What? That's why there's such a high. Not Yeah, by far. It's not even close. What? That's why they're such a high... Not even close? Yeah, it's not even close. Yeah, but they don't do much damage. That's the point. Yeah, but that's the point. We let them go. Well, Ronda Rousey admitted recently that she beat the shit out of one of her ex-boyfriends because she caught him taking pictures of her and everybody's like, well, fucking free pass.

First of all, I believe it because it's Ronda Rousey. Like if a girl says, if a girl says she beat the fuck, well, I know the dude. He's actually a very,

he's a very good fighter. He could fight himself. But when, when Ronda Rousey says she beat a dude's ass, everybody goes, I can see that. Yeah,

but that's probably because of the Tom Jones syndrome where he realized he was wrong and took it. I mean, you see her with Tom Jones syndrome? What's that? Well, it's a famous, Tom Jones, the singer? Yeah, Tom Jones. where he realized he was wrong and took it. I mean, you see her with Tom Jones syndrome. What's that?

Well, it's a famous Tom Jones, the singer, Tom Jones. He talked about when he cheated on his wife and she found out and she just beat the hell out of him. He's like, I've sat there and took it because I deserved it.

And that's usually what happens in domestic abuse. Most, this is actually something you should have her on Karen Strawn where we talked about it. Oh, that girl writes what chick? Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I would love to have her on. She, um, she talked about it, how, you know, uh, men were unfair, were, have always been punished for domestic abuse. It's not like it's ever been Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love to have her on. She talked about it, how, you know, men were unfair, have always been punished for domestic abuse. It's not like it's ever been okay.

Theodore Roosevelt, I think it was Teddy Roosevelt in 1906, wanted to bring back the whipping post for domestic abuse because he thought it was unfair to put a man in prison because then he could no longer provide for his woman. On the flip side, if a man was domestically abused, you were basically dragged through the street and shamed. So most men never reported. They dragged them through the street? Well domestically abused, you were basically dragged through the street and shamed.

Most men never reported. They dragged them through the street? Well, I mean, they would parade you through the street. You'd be ashamed. You bitch! That's not policy. Whipping Post was policy. This is cultural sort of context. Gotcha. But yeah, domestic abuse is actually higher in lesbian communities. What? Yeah.

It's higher in lesbian communities? Well, per capita. But there's not that many lesbians, right? So it's different. I don't know. I don't have a chart, but I imagine there's... I bet there's less lesbians than there are straight people. No, but per capita it's much higher. Yes, yes.

I would wager. So it's... How much higher, though? I don't have the numbers in front of me. Well, Jamie does. Jamie, look up domestic violence in the lesbian community. It's not as much higher between the lesbian community and the straight community as it is between women against men. So women versus men, domestic violence.

Is this just reported domestic violence? Because a lot of women get smacked around and they don't report it. Honest question. Has your wife ever smacked you? No. She ever punched you in the arm? No, she's not like that. Really?

No, she's not like that at all. She's super easygoing. That's why I'm married to her. My wife's like punched me in the arm. I grew up around violence, and I don't like it. It sounds crazy talking to a guy who's a cagefighting commentator who's done martial arts his whole life, but I don't like violence. I'm not the same way. I don't like action films.

I don't mind seeing it. I like fights, and I've always enjoyed competing. It's not that, but that doesn't seem like violence to me, even though it is. That is a, you're, you're, you have a mutually agreed upon meeting of two very skilled people who are going to try to impose their discipline, their will, their focus, their technique, their intelligence, and their preparation on each other. That's how I look at fighting. Yeah, it's competition. But I don't like people that love each other hitting each other.

That shit drives me crazy because I grew up with it. And I don't, I don't, I would never date a girl who tried to hit me. Fold a, okay. I don't want to make my wife feel like a monster. Your wife beats your ass. My wife. She'd fuck you up. My wife's got range.

She's six foot and she's got this. She's got a long jab. Yeah, she was a runway model for years. She like, you know, and I milked. Like, it didn milked like it didn't hurt but you know it's a good example it didn't hurt but you milked it yeah i milked it i went to the bar and left and i was like you know what i need to cool down i'm turning around like oh my gosh i've you know i can get whatever i want for the next week terrible don't do that it's bad for your marriage but it worked um i will say this that a good example is like a dog i see little dogs get into fights all the time.

They don't hurt each other. If Hopper does it, they take him away. Right, of course. They take him away. Of course. He's never done it, but he was bitten by a little Pomeranian. And one time a dog did bite him. It was the only time he actually had black fur in his teeth.

But here's the thing. If Hopper wanted to bite his neck, he would have bitten his neck. People don't realize dogs, that's a clipping. That's like the mom sound of the teeth. That's's the thing. If Hopper wanted to bite his neck, he would have bitten his neck. People don't realize dogs, that's a clipping. That's like the mom sound of the teeth. That's to say, back off. But my friend, actually my producer, Gay Jared, he's got a little Australian shepherd

and they'll get into fights. You call him Gay Jared? Is that what you call him? He claims he's not gay. He claims he's not gay. Jerry's still on. His Twitter handle is not Gay Jared. You can follow his It's not Gay Jared? That's his Twitter handle? It's N-O-T-G-A Jared. You can follow his. It's not Gay Jared? That's his Twitter handle? That's his Twitter handle.

It's N-O-T-G-A-Y. You can follow him and draw your own conclusions. Legally, I'm obligated to say he's not. Another one. There's a lot of those guys. See, I think it's fucked up, man. I think it should be really easy to be gay. Then we'd find out who the fuck is who.

No, no, no. I wouldn't have a problem with it. He just says he's not. Okay, let's see here. We'd find out who the fuck is who. No, no, no. I wouldn't have a problem with it. He just says he's not. Okay, let's see here.

National Violence Against Women survey found that 21.5% of men and 35.4% of women living with same-sex partners experience intimate partner physical violence. Well, that includes gay, not lesbian. Yeah, that's exactly what we're saying. So that shows that lesbians are more likely to beat up their partners than gay men are. Much more. more likely to beat up their partners than gay men are. Much more.

Comparable with 7.1 and 20.4% for men and women, respectively, with a history of only opposite sex cohabitation. That's crazy. So what that says is that 7.1% of women have experienced domestic violence by men, but 20.4% of men have experienced domestic violence by women. The good thing, what that says to me, is that I am not alone, Joe. Okay, but that's Massachusetts. See that right there? Massachusetts is filled with monsters.

Drunk Bostonians. Those women, you fucking queer. They beat your ass. They're terrible people. They're terrible people. The only chick that I ever had take a swing at me was a girl that I dated from Boston. Really? She took a swing at me while I was fighting.

I was in the middle of competition back then. Like, I was... Taekwondo? No, I was kickboxing. I was fucking crazy. Like, and this chick took a swing at me, and I watched it coming, and I was like, I don't even believe this is happening. And I ducked under it, and I grabbed a hold of her.

I'm like, what are you doing? Are you hitting me? Are you trying to hit me? That was the only time a girl, ah, you fucking queer. They're monsters. They're drunk. They're eating potatoes. They're just fucking swinging at you.

That's why it's Massachusetts. I'll bet you, look at the rest of the country, it's probably totally different numbers. No, I don't think it's totally different numbers. Speaking of kickboxing, have you seen Guy Mesker recently? Yeah. That guy is in great shape for his age. Oh, he's in very good shape. He's on real.

He's had some issues with cognitive behavior, you know, his damage from his fighting career. But he's actually, I have to have him on because we talked about this. He's gone through some pretty unique therapy. There's a guy in Dallas that's doing some very unique therapy, dealing with a lot of the cognitive issues that he had because of his long-term fighting career. Well, he's really taken my dad under his wing. Guy is?

Yeah. He's a great dude. I want to say he's a great guy, but I just couldn't. It's too punny. Guy's a great guy. He's a great guy. But he really is. He's very intelligent.

He's soft-spoken. He's just a really good person. Yeah, he really, really is. He's very intelligent. He's soft-spoken. He's just a really good person. Yeah, he really, really is. And he's been very, very supportive of my father there. And there have been like jiu-jitsu politics and stuff. So my dad actually moved there from another school. And I was just going to say, I mean, jiu-jitsu politics, how gross. Well, you know what it is. I mean, I'm the world's longest talked about that. Like I've been a blue belt for, I mean, I can't remember how long because I know. I mean, I'm the world's longest talked about that. Like, I've been a blue belt for, I mean, I can't remember how long because I moved

and they saw it as like an act of disrespect and I had to compete to get my blue belt, Joe. I had to win, it's like, doesn't mean much, but I had to win Naga Worlds at White, which in Dallas, which means you might have people coming in from like 15 states, you know, there might be 12, 15 people in your division who are likely

sandbagging. Right, right, right. And then I was like, we've had people who were demoted from... Demoted? Demoted because like you trained with other people. So it's just one of those deals. My dad started training two, three years after me. You gotta get away from any school that does that. There's only a few schools that do do that. But God damn it, when they do that, it's so disrespectful

and it's so bad for the whole overall community of martial arts because it turns people off when they realize that there's that kind of politics. Yeah. It's terrible, man. I mean, Eddie Bravo experienced that for the longest fucking time because they thought he was disrespectful because he was teaching no-gi jiu-jitsu because he decided to develop a no-gi system. Not even realizing he has a black belt in the Jean-Jacques Machado. Okay? And he trained with the gi forever. It's not that he doesn't want to train with the gi. He's trying to train mixed martial arts fighters.

And he's developing a system that would work with mixed martial arts competition, which, of course, you can't wear a gi anymore. No, I will say this. And I actually think Eddie Bravo is an incredible grappler. But there is nothing more frustrating than when you have a kid come in with long pants and he just wants to sit in rubber guard and doesn't know how to use it because he's read a book and he's like talking about his edible mushrooms. You're like, how about you learn a hip bump, bitch?

You know what I mean? And then, sorry, mom. Well, you're always going to have problems. I call that the blue belt hysteria syndrome. Yeah, but I'll tell you what, there was a rash of him. Yeah, you're going to get that. Yeah, it's fun. It's fun to be a contrar him. Yeah, you're going to get that. Yeah, it's fun. It's fun to be a contrarian.

It's fun to go against a grand field rebel. And they're just like holding you in this poor rubber guard. And that's actually a good example. You know, one of my Brazilian instructors can't stand Eddie. And he would go, you know, what is that? What's rubber guard? I tell you what, it's Nino Chambry. He's taken from Nino Chambry.

Nino Chambry trained with Eddie. I know, I know. He gave Eddie all kinds of props. But that's the kind of stuff you have to deal with in jiu-jitsu. Well, that's people that are silly. How much does your guy weigh, this Brazilian jiu-jitsu instructor? How much what? How much does he weigh, this guy that doesn't like Eddie?

Well, he's about 210. Oh, that's a problem. Eddie's about 170. If they're the same, even though, fucking Eddie would probably still tap him. I think you can learn something from everyone. Yeah, but guys who talk shit like that, they've never experienced it. Roll with Vinny Magalhães. Vinny Magalhães is about 220.

Well, Brazilians really hate him. Yeah, they do. Yeah, they do. Because he came out and said, Brazil's a crap hole compared to the United States. I like living here. And they're like, oh, you turn on your country. I want to fight. It's like, well, you know what?

He was... I fight. I want to fight. If you ever want to actually do an impression, there are different dialects, but Diego Brandao, just imitate him. It's the most severe. Yeah, he's got a good one. He's got a good one.

Just a little ball of hate. Yeah. Diego Brandao. Yeah, he's... Well, he looked really good in his last fight. What the fuck did he fight? He fought a Japanese guy. Oh, yeah.

It was in Japan, wasn't it? Yes. Mitsugaki? Did he fight Mitsug wasn't it? Yes. Mitsugaki? No, no, Mitsugaki is. That's the guy who... That's 135. Mitsugaki's the guy. 145.

Dominic Cruz massacred. Right. He fucked somebody up, though, man. Who the hell was it? Oh, oh, oh. The dude who throws that crazy fucking front kick. Kakuno. Yeah.

Kakuno. I know the Japanese weren't too happy with that. Kakuno got fucked up in his last fight by Tony Ferguson too He's having a hard time Hey you know who doesn't have racial guilt? Who?

Japanese people No they don't They don't You're never gonna hear Japanese people say I don't care what my grandkids look like No no no no no no no no

They're racist as fuck Bob Sapp Put him on a billboard eating bananas Yeah they make him eat bananas They didn't give a fuck We never see a black man like you.

Banana. You are like a gorilla. Yeah, they... They stole that giant sex toy. He ran with it to the bank. He ran with it to the bank. And then ran out of the cage. Got his money.

We actually had an issue with them with the Yakuza. You know, there was an issue where they wanted him to fight without a contract. And he was like, I need a contract. After the fight,

we give you a contract. After the fight? What? Well, let me say one thing about Guy Mesker and we have to go, right? I think we're up. We're about three hours. Alright, sorry. Guy Mesker, I will say it just because obviously it's my home gym. But, just for one second. It's arguable Antonio

Rogerio Nogueira and the Arona fights. Those were really close. Those could have gone either way. Right. If you reverse those and the Vanderlei headbutt doesn't happen and it goes to a decision, he goes in the list of top light heavyweights ever. Well, he's an excellent fighter. You know, I mean, he was always an excellent fighter. But no one mentions him in the mix.

Well, that's unfortunate. He was an early adopter. You know, I mean, he was one of the guys in the real early days of MMA. And he was also, like, one of the best. You look at, like, his style of kicking, his kickboxing style. He's one of the best traditional kickboxing style guys that, like, got into MMA. He had, like, a lot of, like, really good skills

back then. But the Vandeley headbutt was a big turning point. I mean, he was doing well in that fight before that happened. Vandeley headbutted him. I'm not saying he would have won the fight. But I'm saying if you take a couple of those controversial decisions and they go the other way, you put them right up there. Right. With guys like Tito and Chuck.

I mean, he was doing really well with Chuck until he got clipped. Chuck is a monster. Back then, he was really a monster. It's interesting because Chuck's style back then was to take shots because his chin was so fucking sturdy. To take shots and just stay in the pocket and blast You and then eventually that gave out the chin gave out in life He's the best example of why you can't fight like that like look at a guy who had a chin that was so amazing But imagine if Chuck with that chin fought like TJ Dillashaw fought an elusive fast-moving

Fast footwork style where he's very hard to hit, but still had that ridiculous power. Man, I mean, obviously, they're different weight classes. It would be very difficult for him to move like that. But if you fought

a more defensive-oriented style with that punching power and just utilized it sparingly at openings, but then he wouldn't have been Chuck Liddell. That Rashad knockout is one of the worst I've ever seen. Ooh, terrific.

Yeah. Well, the Rich Franklin one was even more disturbing to me because it didn't look like he got hit that hard. And it just, he just, his body was already done. Yeah. You can only get hit in the button so many times. Sorry, I didn't mean to take you down a rabbit trail with that. Yeah.

No, it's true. It's totally true. It's totally true. It's, and you know, that's one thing that's, like, super important to tell young fighters. You know, I always say that Mighty Mouse is the best. I really think he's the best fighter in the world, pound for pound. And one of the reasons why is that fucking guy doesn't get hit. He's so slick, and he moves so well, and he's all about technique.

That's why in his last fight, he goes, look at me. I'm pretty as a motherfucker, and I just fought five rounds. I will say that bothers me. People go, oh, heavyweights don't have technique. Here's one thing my dad and i talk about a lot the margin for error at heavyweight or light heavyweight is much less than a lower division they may be faster but the fact is guess what you can take 50 shots at flyweight you take one shot wrong at heavy there's a reason if you watch if you watch high level heavyweight jiu-jitsu they are fighting often to stay off the bottom

except for guys like Cyborg. Because it's a whole different ball game elevating 250 pounds or getting hit by it. So when people say, oh, the heavyweights aren't as good technically, I go, well, actually the fact is you get hit, you can't get hit once at heavyweight. You have to be more evasive. There's less room for error. And it's not just because I'm a relatively big guy. I'm not, you know, I'd be a middleweight probably if I ever had the balls to fight, which I don't. But as someone who comes from a long line of heavyweights, that's the first thing they say if my dad runs over. I'm like,

well, you're just big. Well, it's also the issue with gravity. The heavyweights have to deal with so much more gravity. It's so much harder to move. It's just harder. Well, you can bench 150 all day. How often can you bench 275? Exactly. Not a lot. Yeah, not a lot. Not even Brock Lesnar can do that. It's just harder. You can bench 150 all day. How often can you bench 275? Exactly. Not a lot. Yeah, not a lot. Not even Brock Lesnar can do that.

It's flyweight. Exactly. And it's also like to find a guy who's a heavyweight like Muhammad Ali who would move like that, that's one of the reasons why he was such an outlier. Nobody had ever seen a heavyweight that could dance like that and move around like that. No one had prepared for it. Like Sonny Liston was like this plodding, murderous puncher and really had no answer for that style right because it's not supposed to exist like a guy's not supposed to be that heavy and be able to move that good yeah

it's a lot harder but even him when he got older that shit went away too and the only thing that i really disagree with you on is uh before we leave is you said what george saint pierre was the national treasury about to cross some lines said that he got out while the wolves were at the door disagree my friend well you don't think he got out while the wolves are at the door look i think george saint pierre is johnny henry amazing well it's not just johnny hendricks yes it's robbie lawler there's a lot of fucking really good fighters strike force well it's not like he's fighting 185 you know because people take it 15 pounds a lot he ducked all these good fighters. 15 pounds is a lot of weight to give up when you're at an elite level.

And he really wasn't a 185-pound guy. He's not even a big 170. He makes weight easily. Whereas opposed to, like, Johnny Hendricks can't even fucking make the weight anymore. They're going to make him go up to 185. Well, Pat's a good friend of mine. He talked about how Lawler would just come in, barely warm up, and just fight. He's an animal. He's not methodical like Georges St-Pierre.

No, but George, I'd like his style better because Georges' style is so unpredictable. And I think that he really set the groundwork for... Firas Zahabi is a wizard. He's one of the very best trainers in the world. And Firas has brilliant breakdowns of MMA and brilliant breakdowns of fights. And when you talk to him about it, when he talks about training, he talks about overloading guys' mind with possibilities. And that's what George did.

You never knew what the fuck he was going to do. You know why his wrestling is so good? A lot of people don't understand this. There is no wrestling in Canada. Well, he trained with Russian nationals. He trained with Russian nationals and the Canadian Olympic team. So it's not like where you have some guy in the UFC who had some high school wrestling experience.

Either you don't wrestle or you wrestle with the best in the entire country. Well, he's also super open-minded. I mean, I did a little bit of training with George, and he just listens to everything and soaks it all in. And you can see his mind working like a fucking computer, the way he takes in technique. And, you know, he did a lot of work with John Donahue on his jiu-jitsu. And he just seeks out people that are going to find little things that he can do better, and he listens. He doesn't have an ego about it at all.

That's because you don't know how dark it is inside that dark. Dark inside my head. And the alien. You're going to see about it. The alien come to get me occasionally. We've got to get out of here. We're out of time. We're three hours in.

This was a lot of fun, man. Thank you very much. If you're in town, we'll do it again for sure. Absolutely. 100%. S. Crowder on Twitter, fun, man. Thank you very much. If you're in town, we'll do it again, for sure. 100%. S. Crowder on Twitter, right? Your YouTube page?

Our site is louderwithcrowder.com. Alright, you fucks. We'll see you soon. Thanks, everybody. Bye. Thank you.