The Joe Rogan Experience - #717 - Steve-O

Episode Date: November 3, 2015

Steve-O is a stunt performer, comedian, clown, actor, producer, author, and television personality. He is taping his comedy special for Showtime on November 21 in Austin, TX, tickets are available at http://steveo.com/

Gentlemen, we're live! Yeah, dude. Steve-O, ladies and gentlemen, Brian Redband, in the house. Steve-O preparing himself for his long stretch in the pokey from mocking SeaWorld openly on top of a very dangerous sign. Dude, there's a video of you, you were streaming live while you fucked with the SeaWorld sign. What'd you write?

Well, I had two different ones. I had the highway sign where I changed it to say SeaWorld sucks. And then there's the one where I climbed up the 150-foot tall crane. Okay. I think both of them made me shit my pants. One of them, we were watching it. Brian and I were watching it. And my toes were curling.

Oh, no way. You were watching it live? Lifting up. Yeah, we were watching it at one point. Weren't we watching it live Brian and I were watching it and my toes were curling. Oh, no way. You were watching it live? Lifting up. Yeah, we were watching it at one point. Weren't we watching it live? No, it was when we were in SeaWorld. I mean, San Diego, and you were doing the sign one. Oh, right, right, right. And you were climbing up the sign and you kept on falling.

And I kept landing on my head, yeah. Oh, dude, yeah. How did you live? I don't know, man. That one made sense. Far fall. That was appropriate. It was right there down in San Diego near SeaWorld. The highway sign said SeaWorld Drive, and I changed it to say SeaWorld Sucks. It was appropriate.

My crane one was completely fucking idiotic. It's like, okay, let me protest SeaWorld at some random construction site nowhere fucking near SeaWorld at some random construction site, nowhere fucking near SeaWorld. Let me fucking bring an inflatable killer whale, like a toy whale, climb up a 150-foot crane. When you're 150 feet up in the air, no one's going to be able to see your fucking toy whale. It's so dumb.

What's that dot? It's Steve-O and a dot. I know, but nobody could even tell. By the time I get up there, I got 80 firefighters 18 cops a helicopter and a SWAT team i'm like the problem with that stuff is if something real was going down and they had put all the resources oh trust me i get it that's why i'm going to jail how long are you going to jail well i have a 30 have a 30-day sentence, but I don't think I'll...

I think they automatically cut it in half and then maybe even get out quicker. How does that work? I didn't necessarily have to go to jail at all. I asked my lawyer to get me jail time specifically because my fucking crane stunt was so idiotic. I was like, man, I got i gotta go to jail that would be the only one tiny little part of it that makes any sense at all because like if you're trying to make a statement about captivity right you know right put yourself in captivity right that's the whole deal so i asked for it and and um so you asked for jail like you could have gotten out

of jail i'm sure i could i could have done like community service like uh you know whatever like i was like no dude because i'm a fucking attention whore so like i'm like dude like like scrubbing graffiti that's not a cool story like going to jail that's a headline you know like i'm gonna get fucking i'm gonna i'm gonna you know steve was going to jail that That's fucking, that's newsworthy. That's so ridiculous. Yeah, welcome to my world. Did you say that to the judge? Well, no, I never even had to go to court because, you know, they all worked it out.

So they kept postponing my arraignment. So they kept postponing my arraignment. And by the time the prosecutor and my lawyer finally worked out a deal, then when the arraignment was back on, they said, hey, we reached a deal. And then they closed it all down. Have you been to jail before? Sure. I've got the fucking most hilarious criminal record ever, dude.

What was the first time? The first time, I was like 16 or 17, going to high school in England, and just got nailed with some weed. You went to jail in another country. Oh, I've been to jail in like five countries. Really? What's the scariest country? Maybe not five, but I've been to Canada, England, America, Sweden. And I'm not counting Mexico because that was more of a catch and release. Like you were fly fishing with no barb.

Right. What happened in Mexico? It was like I was blacking out on Special K, you know, like ketamine, and I was climbing on this roof, and I kind of fell off of it, and I don't know. They just grabbed me and detained me.

Oh, so it was not like that. Yeah, but it was pretty scary. It was legit. When you're in Mexico, that's fucked up. You can vanish. Yeah. Yeah, like a lot of people vanish.

Right. They can't find that El Chapo guy. They're not going to find him. No, apparently they were closing in on him, and he fell and broke his leg, and he was carried off by his guards. Wow. Yeah, apparently they're close. They keep closing in on him.

Right, but that's a good disappear. For that guy, he's psyched to disappear. Most people disappear in Mexico are totally not psyched. That's a good point. That's a very good point. Yeah, people vanish in Mexico. Those students, the 43 students that were murdered, it's just scary shit.

Right. So when you were in Mexico, would you sober up in jail? Did you realize what had happened? No. I don't know i mean i guess like uh it all just like kind of worked out it wasn't it wasn't a big deal you know um they they let me go but uh they just kicked you out yeah in sweden i was in like properly in jail for fucking five days for international drug smuggling. What did you bring in? Well, what I did, I was videotaping it

and I was in Norway and I put a bunch of weed into a condom and I tied it in a knot and swallowed it, choked on it. I was like picking up blood trying to get it out. Oh my God. Yeah, it's all on video. Jesus Christ, dude.

So then I flew from Norway to Sweden so that it would you know you put it on video oh yeah yeah totally and then like put it on the internet well yeah i mean later you know later but um so how'd they get swallowing i swallowed it in norway and got in an airplane to sweden so that so that way i'm crossing international lines you know to qualify as an international drug smuggler. Then when I got to Sweden, you know, I was promoting my tour. Every interview, like, they'd say, like, oh, yeah, how you doing? And I'm just like, oh, man, I think I might die of intestinal strangulation because I swallowed this big package of drugs and it won't come out, you know, because it took days. It didn't come out for, like, six and a half days.

you know because it took days it didn't come out for like six and a half days so so so every like like a reporter like wrote their article or whatever it was and the cops read the newspaper and so then they like they uh they arrested me like after i shit it out and uh and they took me to the jail and and um you know like uh they brought me into the from the jail to the hospital put me in this like cat scan machine which which revealed, they said, a foreign object in my body. I still don't know what that was. And they kept me in a cell for five days, shitting into plastic bags. They're fucking digging through my shit. Oh, my God.

Yeah. And like and then and then after five days in there, they brought me back to the hospital for another, like, scan. And it showed that, like, the foreign object had only moved, like, three centimeters, like, my body. And so, like, they were like, oh, fuck it. And they just had me pay a fine and go. You don't even know what it is? I don't know. I don't know.

They said it was, like, a key. I don't know. They said it was like a... Key? I don't know. They said it was like sharp and I don't know. It was sharp? Yeah. I really don't know what it was. Maybe they were even bullshitting. And it might be still in there?

It's been over 10 years. Did you ever get yourself looked at again? No. I want an update. Where's my friend? Yeah. Where is he? I didn't even really care that much.

But yeah, Sweden, that was wild man and again i was super psyched because i knew i was on that little scrolling fucking thing on cnn at the bottom so you were psyched for that well yeah i mean i thought i might because okay now that when they brought me to the station initially like they they put my backpack on the table and they reached into it like the first pocket they reached into, the first thing they pulled out was a fucking ecstasy pill. Like with a fucking, like it had a print, like an imprint of a smiley face on it,

you know? Oh God. And I didn't even remember it being in there. I'm like, fuck, I didn't know that was in there. And then I thought, man,

maybe I'll be in Sweden for a while. But it turns out that ecstasy wasn't even like that, you know, they weren't even that bent out of shape over ecstasy. They're more pissed about weed over there. Really? Yeah, I don't know why. Just like one of those weird country things? Well, because weed, like, they think it makes you

lazy, I think, and they're not cool. That's how it is in Asia. What? You know, I think, you know, they're like you know, this, like, that makes you lazy, and we're not fucking lazy people. And so they want to really punish you for that. That really frustrates me, that stereotype with weed making you lazy. That drives me crazy.

That is the one that drives me the most nuts. You're lazy, you're lazy. Weed does not make you fucking lazy. It just doesn't. I'm not lazy. It drives me nuts. I was never lazy, It drives me nuts. I was never lazy, man, when I was loaded.

No. My longest time in jail. Well, you know, I was in L.A. County jail for five days one time. I got arrested for felony obscenity and principled a second degree battery in Louisiana. Whoa. Yeah, because it was like I was doing my old show. What does that mean, principled a second-degree battery in Louisiana. Whoa. Yeah, because it was like I was doing my old show. What does that mean, principled to? It means that I arranged, like, an assault.

What the fuck happened? Well, what happened was, like, I was doing my old show, and you know how part of it was I was chugging out of a tequila bottle throughout the whole thing. And I'd like, you know, whatever. I had the tequila bottle at the edge of the stage. And some kid climbed on the stage and grabbed the bottle. And I see these bouncers come over and just neutralize it. And I'm like, damn, these guys are good. These fucking bouncers are pro.

Bouncers are pro. So I said, who wants to get on this stage and try to run from one side of the stage to the other past the bouncers? It's British Bulldog. We'll play British Bulldog. And these guys are going to fuck you up. So this one kid who was this bony, little skinny, little 19-year-old kid was jumping up and down like pointing at himself like he was just so he wanted it so bad and i couldn't like i had to pick him so i picked this kid and he ran uh he just ran you know i'm videoing it myself i said one two three go the kid like runs halfway across the stage and they just grabbed me it was totally anticlimactic

and these three like football player the college football player bouncers like they just lifted him up like in unison like over their heads and like just spiked the kid on his head on the stage oh no and he was like twitching and and like you know i don't think there were the police reports said he was bleeding out of an ear or something. And it was really fucked up. Why did they do that when they knew that he was going to run across? I don't know. I never said slam him on his head, you know.

I'd said that maybe fuck him up. But, yeah, and so, like, you know, in my mind, I'm thinking, oh, dude, this is such a lawsuit. Like, this is bad, you know. That's so funny. You're not thinking, oh, dude, this is such a lawsuit. This is bad. That's so funny. You're not thinking, oh, my God, this poor kid's dying. You're thinking, legal fees. That, too. But whatever it was, it was just all bad. It was all bad.

In my head, the mantra, the show must go on. Pretend it's not bad and just continue. So I'm like, I was like, what the fuck on the video? And somebody in the crowd had a home video camera rolling on. I mean, this was like, what was it, 2002. So, I mean, this is before they had cameras on cell phones. Someone's got like a fucking VHS home video camera. And on the tape, which they turned over, they were like, that's a crime.

So they turned it over to the that's a crime so they turned it over to the cops or they escaped the newspaper and the newspaper gave it to the cops so on the thing i'm like that kid's being loaded into an ambulance fucking who wants to play another round of british bulldog oh no i know it was bad did anybody sign up for round two? I can't remember. I can't remember if we did or not. That doesn't seem like assault, though, honestly. Well, it was principal to second-degree battery or whatever. I think I have it right. And, like, you know, that was a crime.

But the people that watched this video, they really were upset with Steve-O. And so there was another point in the video where I used an industrial staple gun to staple my ball sack to my leg. Oh, you know, normal shit. Right. And I'm covered in blood, too, because part of the other part of the show, I would break a light bulb over my head and pick up a piece of broken glass and literally slash my tongue because the tongue bleeds so much and it heals really fast, so I just bleed all over myself and smear blood everywhere. And so I'm covered in blood, and I've got my dick and balls just blatantly out,

and I'm holding the industrial staple gun, getting ready to staple my ball sack to my leg. And I say, this is not art. This is just to be offensive. Staple my balls to my leg. And so being that it was Louisiana and one of these parishes, they deemed that felony obscenity,

which was a saving grace, man, because the story on that one was like Steve-O got arrested for stapling his balls to his leg, you know? Like the thing with the kid didn't really play that much in the media, you know? Jesus Christ. He did sue me, though. He did sue me, yeah, for like brain damage.

I don't think he even had brain damage. Well, I'll tell you right now, he had brain damage. 100%. You get spiked on your head, some cells die. I mean, maybe. Oh, 100 brain damage. 100%. You get spiked on your head, some cells die. I mean, maybe. Oh, 100%. Right. 100%.

But yeah, I got properly sued. So did you lose or did you go to court? Well, I mean, it was settled. You settled? We settled it, yeah. Can you say how much? He got 50 grand. That's not that good.

But, you know, I's that's not that good, but you know I give you know Got a thing. I think that that's what it was it was did you talk to the maybe 50 grand was my legal fees I can't remember. Did you talk to the bouncers ago? Why did you spike him on his head? Why don't just grab him like you know grabbed him I know Grabbing him would have been funny. You know right just grab and take him out of there help You know the hold him over their head. Or throw him into the audience like a stage diver. Yeah, yeah.

They really, really, it was upsetting. They shouldn't have done that. See, the problem is you give people a green light like that. Right. You've seen some shit the bouncers have done to people. When people climb onto that stage, there's a green light. I mean, it's like, it's sort of like the cop thing. You know, like when cops, like, did you see that video, recent video of the cop grabbing the schoolgirl?

She's in her desk. She won't get out of her desk. And he just fucking ragdolls her and slams her in the desk on the ground. It's when cops have the green light, when they can do whatever they want to do, then you're leaving it up to the discretion of this guy that's probably not thinking that straight. Right. A little stressed out. Yeah, I got beat up by a few bouncers.

One guy grabbed me, took me out back, and just pushed me against the wall and just kept on slapping me in the face and wouldn't let me go. And he sat there for like 10, I was like 18, and he's just wailing on my face. Then he'd be like, you gonna do that again, motherfucker?

And then just punch me in. I felt like I was captured. Yeah, I was kidnapped. It's kind of kidnapping the salt, really. salt really because i was outside of the club he was just ramming me against the wall and shit like they're not supposed to do that right but we left that club in louisiana that night i knew i was gonna hear about it again and um and sure enough like it took a couple weeks but um you know i was like sleeping off a cocaine bender, and my roommate comes in and says, Hey, man, you really got to get up for this.

And there's the L.A. Fugitive Division. They had a fugitive warrant out of Louisiana. For you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There were two charges, the felony obscenity and then the second-degree battery thing. L.A. should just let that felony obscenity and then the second degree battery thing LA should just let that felony obscenity slide but they should be like you keep that yourself you fucking goofy redneck douche bag yeah but you know I loved that

charge and the thing was that's my favorite charge right but the thing was that like they gave me a $120,000 bail like a warrant for the battery. Wow. And then for the felony obscenity, they gave me a million.

Oh, my God. So I showed up on the fugitive list in poll position number one with $1.12 million bail. Oh, my God. Yeah, and so they arrested me. Poll position number one. Like it's million dollar bail oh my god and so they arrested position number one and uh and and so like they they brought me in they're like what'd you do and i'm like i stapled my balls to my leg you know like that nobody could understand it and i and i was in la county jail in the protective custody where i I'll be starting on December 9th. They're going to put you in protective custody?

Well, yeah. I mean, I'm like a kind of high-profile dude. You would be in protective custody, too. And, you know, I mean, at the time, it was 2002. I'd just got my back tattooed, but the movie wasn't out yet, so nobody knew about it. And the cops were pretty psyched to have me in there and they they brought me into like their their office whatever like they're giving me like boxes and boxes of cookies and taking pictures with my back tattoo and they're like i remember they were they were like oh dude you'll be fine in here man what is the back tattoo that they were taking pictures of

my self-portrait oh yeah yeah i've seen it that's right yeah. Yeah. And they were like, oh, you'll be fine in here, man. This is Robert Downey Jr. block. They're listing off all the celebrities that have been in there. You got Tommy Lee, like everybody in here. And ODB's always in here. You're actually in his cell. Oh, ODB. I miss that dude.

Fuck yeah. That was a good one. The longest I was in jail was 10 days in Orlando for, that was for drunk driving. Now that's fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. Like that, that was fucked up. And I remember like that was in 1996.

And I mean, I hadn't really broken out yet, you know? And I hadn't really broken out yet. I barely could afford to get to Orlando. I lived in South Florida, near West Palm Beach. And so I had to scrape money together for a Greyhound bus to get to Orlando. And I was like, I can't afford to get there once for my arraignment. I can't afford to like go get arraigned and then set a date and then come back

and then come back again. And I had a public defender. The public defender said, yeah, I saw the video. We're not going to be able to do much about this. You know, that was the one where my arrest report said, defendant declined roadside sobriety tests, about this you know that was the one where my arrest report said a defendant declined roadside sobriety tests stating he would prefer to take a nap I was trying to argue that I wasn't actually drunk I was just really tired and so

excited told the public defender guy was like was like, man, I can't afford to go home and come back again. So I got the arraignment. Can we just plead guilty and ask that I go to jail right away? So that's what we did. And I actually did the whole 10 days. So what's worse, Mexico or Orlando as far as jail? Well, the Mexico was just like holding, you know. Like Orlando was like proper, like proper jail, like process.

And it was pretty mellow because like in Orlando they said like, you know, as you get like, you know get process, you get orientation. They kind of break down what it's going to be like. They give you a Tupperware tub of your belongings where you've got whatever, like your blanket, like a soap. They won't let you have a razor, but like a toothbrush. And they're like, this is your belongings. You're going to have it at the foot of your bed.

You're going to keep it like this. And, like, fucking don't piss us off. Don't do anything wrong because if you hear, pack up your belongings, you know, then what that means is then you're going to pack all your shit into your tub and you're going into the fucking dungeon, you know? And what that means, like, is that, like, if you're in the dungeon, then down there they're like, and there's just not, you're just not on camera down there. Like, anything can happen to you.

Like, you know, that was, like, sort of the incentive to, like, be on your best behavior. You know? Because up here, like, everything's on camera. Like, you can, you know. And it was just like, you don't want to go to the dungeon. They're just letting you know that if we bring you downstairs, we're going to abuse you. If you fuck up, you're going down and bad shit's going to happen to you. Because you're going to be.

Because only people who go down to the dungeon are, like, dangerous people that you don't want to be, like, fucking with. So they're going to be with you in the dungeon. So that's the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. fucking with so they're gonna be with you in the dungeon so that's the that yeah yeah basically like basically like the the worst people who are more inclined to hurt you are in the dungeon and no cameras yeah if i remember because i remember like being like always on camera no matter what happened i don't know if it was no cameras but they're just like we're not gonna like down there nothing can nothing's gonna be nothing nothing gets stopped. Like, you're going to get fucked. You're going to be fucked.

And it worked. It kept, like, everything pretty, like, civil, you know? Like, I was very well behaved. Now, when you're in jail for 10 days, is it easy, like, in 10 days, can you get drugs in 10 days? Or do you have to, like, get to know the system? I don't think that you're going to have as much luck in county jail. County jail, by definition, means that you have a sentence of less than one year. And then at the point of it being one year, then it's called prison.

And in prison, I think that's where you can get whatever you want and all that. Really? That's where you can get whatever you want and all that. Really? Yeah. I don't think LA, I don't think jail is as, you know. Probably make hooch is probably the big thing. Right. And maybe, I don't have that much experience, so I don't know.

But I couldn't get, I was doing back flips for extra food and shit. Like where people give you food? Like the people give you food like the people that work there or the people that other inmates the people that work there you know when they had the cart that came by and um and i remember too like there was like uh in in orlando like jail is a big business in orlando because it's kind of like mecca you know like maybe even more than mecca like more families like travel from all over the world to, it's like the biggest like tourist thing. So like the business is like, they say like,

you come to Orlando on vacation, you leave on probation, and then you return on violation. And so that was like the- They have all the theme parks there, right? They have Disneyland. Yeah, it's fucking SeaWorld. There's a bunch of them. SeaWorld there too?

They got SeaWorld in Orlando and San Antonio and San Diego. When are they closing SeaWorld down? Because in California, they just made it illegal for them to breed in captivity. Dude, they banned captive breeding. California banned captive breeding, which means that it only applies to the San Diego SeaWorld. California banned captive breeding, which means that it only applies to the San Diego SeaWorld. But that fucking came down, whatever that decision was, it was made official, like, within two days of me getting my jail sentence. That's amazing.

And I like to think, maybe it's just a coincidence, but I like to think that I got people sort of talking about it, you know, like, thinking about it. And then they were like, you know what? Fuck those people. Well, you definitely did. You definitely put some attention on it. But there's been some attention on it for quite a while. And that movie Blackfish was the big one. That was the big one. That woke up a lot of people when they just realized, like, whoa, what is this place? Killed SeaWorld for me forever.

I used to love it going as a kid. I was always telling you, like, you're going to watch prisoners. You're going to watch slaves. You're going to watch slaves. It's super fucked, dude. It's super fucked. They're like water people. I mean, they really are as smart as human beings. They just don't affect their environment.

I think smarter, too, because just their loyalty and shit like that. Humans aren't that loyal. Well, you could say that, but some humans are, and dolphins kill a lot of babies. Right. They kill baby dolphins. They rape a lot. They're not the best. Right.

I mean, there's this like- Yeah, dolphins are dicks, but not whales. Well, even killer whales. Killer whales kill dolphins. Oh, yeah? Yeah, and whales. They eat whales alive. It's a hard fucking world in the ocean.

The ocean's a dog-eat-dog world, or a dolphin-eat-baby world, or a killer whale-eat-whale world. One thing for sure, though, there has never been an instance of a killer whale, you know, people would like to call them orcas, and orcas never attacked a human in the wild. That's true. Because when we were filming Wild Boys, we went to Alaska, and we ran across a pod of orcas. And we had Manny, the crazy shark guy, you know, like the Tarzan-looking dude that rides sharks everywhere. And he was so jazzed. He sees these fucking killer whales in the wild.

He just dives in to go swim with them, you know? And we had an inflatable killer whale there, too, and, like, we towed Pontius, like, on it, you know? Like, try to, like, right through him. But you couldn't. You swim towards these orcas, and they're out, man. They don't even want to hang with you. Yeah, but they have saved people.

They've saved drowning people before. Oh, yeah? Yeah, people who capsize boats, they've actually, like, lifted them up and helped them they're they're very smart they say that they have dialects they have like you can tell their different accents they they they recognize each other they stay with the same family for life that's why it's so fucked up when they take them away like you're stealing someone away like a child away from their mother yeah it's so fucking

dark and when you see those sea world commercials they're like we haven't taken orcas from the wild in over 34 years like that's you imagine if there was a commercial for like nabisco and nabisco was like we haven't stolen slaves in over 34 years the slaves that have, we have had them for a long time. Right. That's basically what they're saying. I know. It's fucked up, dude. Go ahead.

I grew up with a SeaWorld in Ohio, and it's really weird how, you know, growing up, they don't teach you that, like, hey, we captured these guys. You always kind of thought, like, oh, they're injured, and we helped them, and that's why they're here. It was always kind of like, oh, I like SeaWorld because I want to see these dolphins do good and be better. But after watching that movie, you realize it's the exact opposite. They just kind of kidnap them. It's slavery. They say a dolphin has a cerebral cortex that's 40% larger than a human being's. I believe it.

They don't have the ability to alter their environment they can't pick things up and move them around they can't send emails but they don't have to they live in a 3d world like they can fly around in their world i mean they come up for air but in their world they can go left right up down they they don't need fingers like it's not necessary so our idea like what's intelligence like if you can't type something or if you can't build a house you're a fucking idiot you know that's how we look at it just but but those things that we define as intelligent when it comes to human beings are completely unnecessary they go where the water's warm the fish are everywhere fish are stupid as

fuck they swim up to them they jack themins probably never starve to death. I mean, they're faster than fish. I mean, I guess they die of old age. But you got to think, like, unless they run out of fish, fish are probably easy as fuck for them to catch. They just swim up and jack them. It's like food is floating around the sky. Imagine if everywhere you went, like, there's sandwiches just floating around in front of you. You just hang out with your homies and grab a sandwich. I mean, that's dolphin world.

Yeah, that's dolphin world. But they do do some dark shit. But they usually do it in the name of breeding. That's why female dolphins are, like, super slutty. They're super slutty because they can't recognize lines of paternity. So they don't necessarily know whether or not the baby's theirs. So if they go up to a not the baby's theirs so if they go up to a chick and she's got babies and they have never had sex with her the women the female

dolphins won't have sex until their baby has reached like maturity until their baby can swim away it's like a few years i believe so when the males come up to females and they have babies and they haven't had sex with the female, they'll sometimes kill the babies so that she'll have sex with them again. Ah. It's pretty fucked up. Lions do shit like that, too. Bears do shit like that, too.

Yeah. That's the other thing. That video with you and the lion. The lion and the tree. We've watched that a few times on this show and freaked. Yeah. But in any case, I'm going to jail for a fucking good cause, man. I used to get arrested for fucked up shit, man.

You know, like, drugs and violence. Like, in Canada, I got arrested. For violence? Well, kind of, yeah. What'd you do? It was assault.

Like, um... And we actually ran away from cops and got away. It was on New Year's Eve of when, uh, 2003? I want to say it was, uh... Oh, it was on new year's eve of when uh 2003 i want to say it was uh oh it was 2003 turning into 2004 did this big show and some fucking asshole got on stage and like snuck up like whatever and like sucker punched me while i was on stage you know like uh he fucking punched me and and so of course everybody like grabs him and starts beating the shit out of him

and I'm like on the microphone saying fucking kick his ass you know like trying to like it started out

as an assault on me but by the time I was like nah kick his ass and they're beating him just all bloody you know like and Preston Lacey

the big guy on Jackass had his microphone. He was just grating the dude's forehead off with the microphone. So it was kind of bloody from that. And then they were carrying him away, and I hauled off and kicked the guy. You got in trouble for that? I did, yeah.

The cops were called, and we just, I think, maybe ran off the stage and just dipped and got away. But then I was back on my new tour. It was in Calgary. And I'm on the morning news promoting my shows. They said, have you ever been to Calgary before? I said, oh yeah. I was here and we really beat the crap out of this guy

and then we ran from cops and got away. They still let you in Canada? Well, I'm Canadian. I have a Canadian passport. I'm also American and I'm also British. What? My mom was born in Canada. My dad was born in America. I was born in England. So I'm all three. So all you have to do is be born in a country like that and you get a passport. My dad was born in America. I was born in England. So I'm all three.

So all you have to do is be born in a country like that and you get a passport. You're a citizen. Yeah. But then they allow you to be a citizen of America too. Correct. Yeah. That's a sweet deal. You can't be a resident of more than one place.

Right. But you can be a citizen. All I got to do is marry like an Australian chick and I'm stoked. Even New Zealand would be even better. And so then you're like quadra right quadra citizen but i'm triple national the thing was though like i'm so i'm bragging about like yeah we beat up this guy and fucking ran from the cops and then when i left from that trip hand over the passport like uh to the immigration guy like you know going through the airport he's like yeah um go ahead and wait in this room and so there's a red flag yeah so the cops uh came and arrested me and and they i wasn't i mean they held me for like 12 hours or 10 hours or something and what they say when they arrested

you they said there's a you have an outstanding warrant which i think is pretty funny it's like an outstanding warrant. Outstanding. This is a good one. So I think there's other meanings for outstanding. So why did they let you go after 12 hours? Because I paid bail, like a $10,000 bail or something. That's it? Did you have to go back and go to court? I mean, it was a misdemeanor, you know, whatever.

And I got it sorted out from, you know, like, whatever. Canada doesn't play when it comes to assault, though. Like, if you've been in a street fight... Canada doesn't play when it comes to anything, man. Yeah. Like, Canada is the fucking

toughest country to get into. I mean, like, everybody gets held up. If you got a drunk driving arrest, like, you're not allowed in. Yeah. Like, assault, I don't know if it was

that big of a deal. But whatever, you know, it was great because I was able to sort of, you know, like clear away the wreckage of my past. Like for all the fucked up shit I've done, like I like to think I've made it all right, you know. How about the dude that got spiked on his fucking head? He's fine, dude.

He's got 50 grand, man. That guy special K'd through that 50 grand the first day. That's a weird thing, like the Canadian thing. They live right next door to us, so they've got to be real careful about fugitives sneaking across the border. So they're super strict about any weirdness. Eddie Bravo, a long time ago, got pulled over, not even arrested, for having a legal, he used to work for a check cashing company. So he used to take these bags of cash around with him, and he had a concealed weapons permit.

And so he gets pulled over by the cops, and he tells the cops, officer, I work for a check cashing company. I have a large sum of cash, and I also have a concealed weapon. And here's my permits, here's my paperwork. And so they take him out of the car, they handcuff him, check his paperwork. They go, everything seems in order, you're free to go. And they let him go. So every time he goes to Canada, they bring up that. Every time.

Still on his record somehow? Still on his record. Still on his record, and it wasn't even an arrest. They pulled him over. But when it involves a gun, if it involves anything where you... Large amounts of cash, everybody's pretty uptight about. But it was all legit.

He worked for a check cashing company. So he had a total 100% ironclad excuse. They let him out. I mean, it never brought him to jail. They let him go. But still, every time he goes to Canada, they check him. Kevin James had a real hard time, because Kevin James got in a street fight, like in high school or

college or something like that, and got arrested. No conviction, nothing. But every time he would go to Canada, like when, before he was famous, we'd do the Montreal Comedy Festival together. Every time we'd go to Canada, they'd fuck with him. You know, Australia is the same way, man. Australia is, like, maybe

even harder to get into than Canada. And I'm not Australian. So when I go to Australia, I have to, like, with my visa application, I have to submit my entire criminal record, like, my whole history. And it's, like, so long. It's hilarious. Like, you know, I mean mean there's even a bunch of stuff i didn't even mention like you know like being arrested all over the states and stuff

but nothing was really how many times you've been arrested uh there's one in uh in philadelphia like public urination was like i mean kind of mellow it was more like funny than anything um and uh there's my first drunk driving you should have like those like four lines and a stripe for five every time you get arrested like counting off the days in prison when i like last year uh you know like a year and a half ago or something i did a whole australia tour and um you know i was i was like putting it all together and I made a YouTube video actually going through my whole official thing with all the paperwork,

my criminal past or whatever. And at the same time too, the Australian tour promoter wanted me to have a name for my tour. Like, oh, we'd like to have a name for the tour. And so I'm going through my whole arrest history. And so I told him, yeah, man,

it's Steve-O Guilty As Charged. That's the name of my tour. And so that's been the name of my tour for like a year and a half. You know, like if anybody wants to know the name of it, that's what it is every time. And now, and why i'm so excited to be here today is because uh in like less than three weeks in austin texas i'm taping my first

comedy special for showtime and it's of course called steve-o guilty as charged where are you taping it uh at the paramount theater in austin texas that's a good spot i've been there oh dude it's so it's so fucking i mean i just love texas i love texas i been there. Oh, dude, it's so fucking, I mean, I just love Texas, man. I love Texas. I love Texas so much, and it's the one place that I haven't been to with this tour. So it's like I have a fresh crowd, you know? What are you doing on tour? Are you doing straight stand-up? Are you doing?

It's like a one-man show where, like, it's totally stand-up. It's totally stories and like on story points throughout the show like i do like super fucked up stunts you know like what like uh i mean when i come in like i'm gonna like blast fucking uh like a 12-pack of soda cans on my head, you know, like until they're all like busted open. What? Yeah. Wait, how do you do that? Like you just take the can and it's not open

and you just fucking keep smashing it in your head until it breaks. And it's going to be so dope with all the lights, you know, like all the lights. And once it breaks, it's like spraying like super fucking a lot, you know? And so it looked dope, man. I'll break like at least six of them. And then whatever, like, you know.

You look so healthy for someone who's done so much fucked up shit to your body. Like you walk normal. Yeah. You seem to be, your voice is a little raspy, but everything's coming out good. Well, thanks, man. The words come out smooth. I appreciate it, dude. um but yeah then like whatever you know at the top of my show i'd like uh you know i got some crowd work and stuff like um and i don't even waste any time before i start fucking bagging on

carlos mencia and your crowd work well yeah because like all i pulled out like i'm one of my like big bits is you know like i'll pull the the crowd about um you know ladies clap if you've ever received a dick pic from someone you know it's like really like you know it just it's like one of my like you know best like uh crowd work bits and um you know after i get done like with all like the back and forth with you know it's just really fucking funny to pull, now, what kind of dick pics did you get from guys that you weren't hooking up with? Now, clap if you got a dick pic from a guy that you were not hooking up with at all. And less, but still, tons of chicks clapping.

Okay, now I want you to clap really loud if you went on to have sex with that guy. Just crickets, you know? So it doesn't work, you know? And then I tell them, like, you know, and I just saw this thing recently, and so I just started doing it. Like, I say, you know, I saw this funny thing online about dick pics, and it was so funny, I stole it, you know? It was one of these memes where a girl is saying, receiving a dick pic from a guy is

just like her cat bringing her a dead mouse. She says, I can see that you are very proud, but I'm not touching it. That's hilarious. That's fucking funny. And people will actually clap. And I say,

every time, I'm like, oh my God, this floors me. Getting applause for a joke I told you I stole. I said I fucking love this so much, I decided I'm going to do a whole fucking bit just out of jokes I stole. I call it the Carlos Mencia bit. And so then I just say, really quick, because I don't like to fucking, I don't even, I'm not even comfortable doing this, but I'm like, I'll tell you two jokes, one you've heard of, one you haven't, but I stole them both.

Did you hear what Greg Fitzsimmons is doing? Yeah. I don't want to ruin it. I want people to come to Austin so much, because like, normally I do comedy clubs, you know? And like, I sell the lion's share of my tickets, like, once i do comedy clubs you know and like i sell the line share my tickets like uh once i get there you know i don't do a lot of advanced ticket sales i show up and i get on the radio and people are like oh he's here and then i do great you know like i i do really well but in this case for and it's november 21st this month um at the paramount

theater in austin like i don't have the luxury of waiting to get there to fucking sell tickets because it's a fucking Showtime comedy special. Right, right, right. We have to have that place sold the fuck out. What's the date? November 21st. Dude, we'll tweet the shit out of it. Oh, dude, I'm so stoked, man.

Thank you. Yeah, November 21st, Paramount Theater. You can find it at steveo.com. We'll tweet it. We'll tweet it. We'll tweet it after this show is over. Yeah, dude. dude super and i know like a million people are listening we put it in the youtube notes that he'll be there okay we'll put in the youtube notes super appreciate it um yeah and uh it's gonna be a bunch of people want to see you smash soda cans on your head oh dude

you better i used to do it like i used to do it like on comedy clubs like six times a week oh you know i would break like you know like like six times a week. Oh, my God. I would break like one, two, or three. But the thing is, I would fucking wake up in the morning, and I'd fucking get out of bed, and I'm walking like fucking diagonally. I'm like, my whole fucking equilibrium was off. And I was like, I've got to stop hitting myself in the fucking head. But yet you're going to do it again. I'm going to do it. But yeah, that's only two shows.

Oh, I see. I was doing it like all the time so you're doing it like wednesday thursday right right right right exactly so by the time sunday rolled around you had brain damage totally yeah like but yeah so in any case i'll be smashing the cans i do like the you know i've got like a couple bits like with the crowd work and then the fucking you know by the time i'll even tell you the jokes i fucking think they're funny the ones i stole for the carlos mencia bit but if you do that then the people you're right you're right yeah you're right yeah there's a lot of people listening thank you joe they listen they remember they write shit down right heard it i heard this! You stole it and I heard it! Yeah, thank you, Joe. But then, like, you know, after that, then it's like, okay, now I'm going to really get into it. And so it's sort of like I start off, you know, addressing, like, how people have asked me for so long.

Like, how did I get into it? How did the jackass shit start? did I get into it how did the jackass shit start and you know I give like a super condensed like super hilarious like sort of fucking Genesis story of like you know starting with like me in high school and getting copped and dealing drugs and like and you know like going to college and just fucking up royally I mean I fucked up royally it in college and you fucking up royally. I mean, I fucked up royally in college and, uh, what did you do in college? It was so bad.

Well, within two weeks of class starting my freshman year, I was, I was on final disciplinary probation, which is fucking impressive. Two weeks. Yeah. I got my room rated like,

uh, you know, they, they found on my alcohol and weed and shit. And so like, you know, so they, they,

they relocated me into another fucking dorm you know and they're like you are on final disciplinary probation and like i climbed up like i broke out a window and climbed onto the roof and you know there's a radio tower on top of the roof and i climbed up that and someone spotted me from the ground and and so the cops came on the roof and they kicked me out of the dorms. And I was failing the fuck out of my classes. And then I just got in a van with this dude and just took off without even withdrawing. So I got in a van with this dude. That never ends well.

So I failed out. I got kicked out. And I dropped out. Oh, my God. Which I call overachieving. That's definitely a mouthful. I know, and that's the thing. People were like, when I was leaving the University of Miami,

it's like, well, what are you going to do now? And I'm like, I'm going to fucking videotape fucked up shit. And I'm going to become a... And what year was this? 93. So you had this idea in 93. Oh, yeah. And even then, I was like, man, I had special fucking skills.

I was really fucking good at drinking bong water. Oh, God. I didn't care how murky it was or whatever. Mud. Very few people have ever said, I didn't care how murky it was. Like that sentence if you live a whole life and that that never comes out of your mouth you live a good life right and and like i was like i you know it was miami so i was like super into like i was like blow off class and i'd be like practicing jumping on the diving boards at the at the pool and i'm like i'm never

gonna be a diver but if i jump strictly off of like roofs of like apartment buildings and shit into shallow pools then it's badass so i was like i got pretty good at that oh my god and then like my specialty was uh like setting myself on fire with uh like hairspray and rubbing alcohol and so at the point where i'm not even like fucking five minutes into the show at this point and i had to say my specialty was setting myself on fire with hairspray and rubbing alcohol. So I'm going to at that point demonstrate. You do that in the theater? I used to do it in comedy clubs all the time, but I kept getting so hurt.

I just fucking stopped. Because what I do is like, I'm'm gonna do like kind of deluxe version for this one like i'm gonna start with like a can of hairspray i'm gonna like spray my like all the hair on my head like heavily with the hairspray i'm gonna climb on top of a of a table on the stage and douse my arm with rubbing alcohol fill my mouth with lamp oil. What about your butthole? Anything going in there? Kerosene? Then I'm going to click a lighter and light my

arm on fire, like just the rubbing alcohol on my skin. And a trail will go all the way up to your hair. Well, like a drop, like from when I pour it on the table, there will be a puddle, and so a drop will stay on fire probably and then the table will be on fire a drop will stay on fire probably and then so the table will be on fire my arms on fire and then like so i'm gonna use my arm as a torch when i do a front flip standing on top of the table and simultaneously as i do the front flip blow

a fireball like off of my arm like which is a huge lamp lamp oil goes crazy so like the lamp oil and as i'm flipping for like the front flip, my head, like everything just goes right through the fire. So when I crash on the table on my back, now my head's on fire. And so then I get, get up and like kind of like like flail around the stage with my head on fire. And my buddy comes running out with a mouthful of lamp oil and he comes running up to me and he uses my head as a torch,

and just, you know, blows a fucking huge fireball off of my head, and then, like, we'll figure out how to put me out, you know? Then we'll figure it out.

Right, right. I mean, maybe he'll have like a towel or something, because I've gotten like, A towel? Yeah. How about a fireman?

No, I mean, I wouldn't do that I'll go like my goal would be to just use my bare hands but the thing is like I've done it

where I've like does the paranormal know that you're gonna do this oh no oh fuck dude don't don't tell them

no don't tell them don't tell them oh don't tell them yeah oh my god I didn't even think about it cause I mean you didn't think about it

well I mean it's a fucking huge theater like I thought I didn't it didn't occur to me that they would find out that I was going to do it until I already did it. A million plus people are going to hear this. Someone's going to tell them. All right.

Well, then fucking I better figure it out. I guarantee you they have fire codes. I've done it in the fucking thousand places. Have you ever let anybody know beforehand on a podcast? I feel like a fucking flashback from Calgary coming at me. It's like all the times you've hit yourself in the head with sodas, you've knocked out this pre-planning. This is a pre-planning Segment of your brain

That's just Shorted out Like a bad fuse Nah dude We'll figure it out Oh yeah No worries Like maybe we'll have

Like a bunch of people With a fire extinguisher Yes You would definitely have A bunch of people With fire extinguishers We'll let the We'll let the fucking

Fire marshal know Or whatever dude But like this is so important man I have to do it Aren't you scared that Like maybe you'll get Really injured And you can't finish I mean Like if you burn Your face off or whatever, but this is so important, man. I have to do it. Aren't you scared that maybe you'll get really injured and you can't finish?

No, one time I burned my neck really bad, and it hurts, but it's not going to stop me. Wow. The rest of your show could be you looking, like steam coming off your face. It wouldn't be the first time. If it was you, that would be a real problem. But if it's him, it's like, this is part of the fun.

Right. Part of the fun is him being all fucked up. Yeah. I mean, I think it's, whatever. I mean, the crazier the better, you know? Like, I'm in this to fucking really make an impression. You're in it to win. So whatever.

It's going to go on and there's just going to be, it's kind of a one-man show. But the thing is, it's also fully stand-up, man. I've been on tour doing stand-up for five years now. Yeah, I remember when you first started doing it. I was like, that's it. Because you first started doing it right around the time you were getting sober, right? I had been sober for two years when I really dove into it.

I wasn't sober yet when I first started. Oh, you weren't? Yeah, first time I tried it was 2006. Oh, okay, so you took a break and then came back. Yeah, I mean, I just dabbled in it. I didn't do it heavy until I'd been sober for a couple years. But that's pretty much what you do now. Pretty much, yeah.

Now, is being sober, does that fuck with your ability to do a lot of these crazy stunts? Well, obviously not. You know, I would say that, I mean, if you're like sober, like, you know, like deliberately hurting yourself isn't necessarily easier. But it's like, I never did that because, you know, because I was wasted. I didn't do it because I'm an attention whore. And sober or not, take away the drugs and alcohol, I'm still an attention whore.

But you embrace that. Fuck yeah. Why do you think I have a fucking tattoo of myself on my back? Everybody's favorite topic of conversation is themselves. I'm just like, I think that's hilarious, and I'm cool with admitting it. But it just seems like if you were fucked up on drugs and you made this career of getting hammered and going out and doing wild, crazy stunts that got you injured, and then you cut out the getting fucked up part.

Right. But you're still injuring yourself. Well, I mean, injuring myself isn't as much of it. I mean, sure, I'll still do it. I don't care. What's the most injured you've ever gotten? I threw myself off of a balcony at the University of Miami after I dropped out. And then I came back and just lived there, even though I wasn't allowed to.

And there was, like, a keg party. And I was trying to, like, impress this fat chick. And I was on the balcony. But I had taken too many pills and drank too much booze and I'm telling this girl this was in I think it was January of 1995 and I'm telling this girl I said I'm gonna be like a fucking super rad stuntman and we're on the second floor balcony I tell her like you know like okay like I'm gonna be like this fucking gnarly stuntman like picture this like imagine like like there's like a fight on the balcony you're right and like

i get punched and i'm like pretending i get punched and i just throw myself off the balcony now i used to throw myself off the balconies all the time but not when i was that fucked up and not when i was trying to pretend that i had been punched. So my whole game plan were like, the way I would do it, I did it different. I didn't catch the bottom with my hand and then let myself go. I just spun over the railing. And so I spun over the railing and landed on my fucking face on the bottom. And I broke, I have the CAT scans. They're so gnarly.

I broke my cheekbone. I broke seven teeth. I had ten stitches in my chin, a concussion, and a broken wrist. That's actually pretty good, considering you fell onto what? Concrete. And I was landing that, landed there, and I was fucking face down. From where I needed the ten stitches, I had a pool of blood growing. I was face down and i'm not

even fucking twitching a finger at all i mean just like there's just blood pooling you know and and i'm not moving and everyone's like thinks i'm probably dead but my buddies were like they're like man if he's not dead he's gonna need that weed in his pockets i remember i had like i had like kind weed you know like like fucking proper good weed in one pocket and like swag weed in his pockets i remember i had like i had like kind weed you know like like fucking proper good weed in one pocket and like swag weed in the other and and they uh you know pulled it out pulled it out and and um and in the morning i knew my mom was like i didn't i don't even remember landing like i don't remember anything you know and they called the ambulance whatever that came and um and then in the morning, like, I woke up, and I was so fucked up.

It was unbelievable. But I knew my mom was on a cruise ship in, like, the Caribbean. But I told them, I said, oh, I need to call my mom. And they said, of course. But what I did was I called my buddies down at the University of Miami. I said, hey, I'm going to fucking leave out the fucking emergency room entrance right now come scoop me up and so i broke out of the hospital in my in my gown right and they came and picked me up and i went back to the spot and i stood like right over like the pool of blood and i tried to pound

a beer but i couldn't because it hurt too bad and i couldn't eat or anything and I was like my sinuses would like fill with blood and then I would like hawk it you know like you hawk a loogie and then spit it out and it was just blood loogies for like two weeks I tried to eat applesauce and I couldn't even fucking eat applesauce because I was so busted up and so the applesauce

a bowl of applesauce sat next to my bed just with blood loogies in it I just used it as a spitter applesauce, a bowl of applesauce sat next to my bed just with blood loogies in it. I just used it as a spitter. Oh, God. Yeah. And I had, like, I broke my wrist, too. So I had the cast on my wrist for, like, whatever, you have it on for six weeks.

And my mom, like, sort of felt bad for me because I broke seven teeth. And so my fucking, all my front teeth are all busted out and she knew I was a fuck up, you know, which teeth, like, uh, it was, it was, uh, like my, my front, one of my front ones. And then there was one that didn't break one on the other side of that one did break. So it looked extra bad, you know, like, right. And, um, and my mom like felt bad for me. She like sort of had like, you know, she felt bad for me. And, you know, she's sort of an enabler, too. So she set a dentist appointment for me to get my teeth fixed, you know, like, and she was going to pay for it. And I still got the cast on my wrist. And the night before the fucking dentist appointment where I'm going to get my teeth fixed is when I get fucking arrested for

my first drunk driving, you know? And like, and so they fucking take me into a Miami Dade fucking County jail and I'm in the holding cell there. And, and one of the fucking like correctional officers in the jail looks at my fucking cast and says that cast is a potential weapon you know like they like uh like if i get into a fight in the holding cell now i'm gonna have an unfair advantage because i've got this cast on my arm so they're like you can't be in this fucking holding cell you have to go in to this gnarly fucking like uh crazy fucking you, and sell with like all the people who are in here for the longest stretch of time. Oh God.

You know? And they, they said the first thing I had to do was go and take a foot, get naked and take a fucking shower in the back of this big cell with all these bunk beds and all these fucking creepy assholes. And, uh, I'm like,

this sucks, man. I called my mom and I was like, mom, you know, like, you know, I'm in jail, you know? And she's like, she's like, what? You know, like, this sucks, man. And I called my mom, and I was like, mom, you know, like, you know, I'm in jail, you know.

And she's like, what? You know, like, she says, I'm not bailing you out unless you go door to door straight to rehab. And I'm like, okay. So I went to rehab, like, in 1995. And I remember these fucking guys, like, one of the counselors says like uh yeah you know like um 95 of all alcoholics like die drunk of causes related directly to alcoholism you know like most people like they don't get sober you know like and i'm sitting there thinking man this guy's telling me like if i'd like really wanted to get sober i got a five percent chance

i'm like fuck that you know so i stayed loaded like i just resigned myself to being loaded forever and and it wasn't until like 13 years later i finally got it so him saying that sort of kept me fucking wasted but what it did really what it what it did was it just made me not like uh get sober until I was really ready. What made you really ready? Well, I mean, fuck. I got Knoxville pulled an intervention on me. That's when you know you're fucked up.

I know. Johnny Knoxville steps in and goes, dude, you're too crazy. Yeah, you know you got a problem when that's your interventionist. What was going on that he had to step in? Well, I had this, like, fucking mass email thing, and I was, like, broadcasting my downward spiral in, like, fucking real time to, like, you know, 200 of the most, like, you know, influential fucking people in the entertainment industry who had the misfortune of giving me their info, you know.

And it was just like more fucked up and it's kept getting worse and worse and and um and i got arrested for like uh you know felony cocaine possession that was another one of my fucking arrests what's felony cocaine possession you have a well there's no such thing as misdemeanor cocaine possession not even like a little bit no like you got a little it's a felony yeah um but uh i got evicted i got you know arrested you know like this is when i had like my my neighbor in this apartment building i lived in was always calling the cops because i deserved it like he was a lawyer and i'm like an asshole and i'm always making all this noise so the cops were always coming but typically they would get to my apartment and they'd be stoked they'd be

like oh no way steve-o cool man have a good night and so like they would so they would take off you know they would or i would play nights but this guy's just fucking his life was was misery because of me but the thing was that like because i was such a fucking you know loaded asshole with all my fucking drugs and fucking being wasted i was just became particularly mad at him for always calling the cops on me so like i'd like fucking take like a baseball bat like pound his door or whatever like fuck you call the cops you know like uh no and uh and i was like i was in pound i was like you know i was like pounding on the wall that separated our apartments like all the time just like how do you like that fucker you know how do you like that and i pounded on the

wall so hard that i fucking actually pounded a hole through the wall where i'm looking into his apartment you know and you can see his apartment. Wow. You know? You could see his apartment? You punched through both sides? I punched, yeah. I was looking into it. Oh, my God. Yeah, well, I mean, the thing was,

well, the thing was that I pounded enough and then I took a broomstick and fucking just pounded and pounded and pounded until I got through, you know? So now he calls the cops and they actually have to arrest me

for whatever, for vandalism. It was a misdemeanor, but I've now vandalized his property by pounding through the wall. So they come to arrest me and this time it doesn't matter if they're stoked or whatever. And I'm so blown out on fucking ketamine and I don't know what's going on. And I got a fucking bag of cocaine in my pocket and like, and I'm, and I open up the door, like I got,

I'm shirtless. I have no shoes on and a bag of cocaine in my pocket and I'm out of my mind. And they're like, Hey, we're taking you into jail because we have to arrest you for, for, uh, vandalism.

And, um, like it's going to be cold, and so as a courtesy, you can go in there and put on a shirt and put on some shoes. And I'm like, fuck a shirt and fuck some shoes. Meanwhile, that would have been

the perfect opportunity for me to go in, take the bag of cocaine out of my pocket, and put on, you know, it was the perfect opportunity, but I'm like fuck that you know so they take me to jail with no shirt no shoes and a fucking uh and i get reared they go to your property you know then when they process you into jail and so they pull out a bag of cocaine and

they re they re-arrest me at the jail oh my god so i'm in so so i'm in there for like three days or something and it's on the news and then the apartment building's fucking over me even though i rented four apartments in the building why did you rent because one was a skate park one was like sort of like my buddies, my one guy edited my videos and stuff, it was kind of an office I had this like assistant

chick, it was such a fucking joke, I mean her job was just to tell people that she couldn't find me and and constantly change my flights because I would always miss my flights. She was like a travel agent at best, but I had an apartment for her, and then I had my bachelor pets. It was four. And still, the fucking apartment's like, get the fuck out of here.

When you're renting four apartments and then you still get evicted like that's when you know you fucked up well especially when one of them's a skate park right i know but it was it was like it was like neck then the next to it on one side was a fucking like russian hooker operation so they weren't complaining you know they're dudes coming in to fuck these hookers all day long where did did you live? Specifically. Right across the street. Do you get a discount still? Do you know anybody?

I don't know. You haven't touched these folks? This was a long time ago, but it was right across the street from Rock and Roll Ralphs. Oh, right in the midst. Yeah, I mean, right on the part of Sunset Boulevard with a lot of hookers. That's a dangerous place to live. And the lawyers live in there? I mean, yeah.

He's probably shady. Take a look at him closer. I don't know that I ever actually met him. What? I mean, yelling through the door or whatever, maybe like a son, but I wouldn't have recognized him. Do you feel like you want to go back and apologize to him? I tried. Did you?

I tried. I actually had his email, and I reached out to him, and I said, hey, it would mean a lot to me if we could meet up. And he just declined, so I had to respect that you know but yeah that was he declined in an email he declined he declined to to meet me yeah so I just sort of like when you're in that situation you want to go through and make things right right you had to respect that you know you can't like be persistent so then so to make it right to that guy like you, it's called a living amends where it's sort of I'm not going to do that to anybody else. And this is a part of the thing about rehab? Yeah, of course.

It's basically a thing about life. But it's something that they ask you to do when you're going through rehab? Right. It would be considered step nine of the 12 steps. You know, we made direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. So, yeah, so that's part of the deal. And now I finally get out of jail and I come back and there's a fucking eviction notice on my door. You know, like, get the fuck out within three days.

Oh, actually, there was that, yeah. And, like, I had all drugs in my apartment so like i get back and like there's the eviction notice but like i just go straight for like the vials of ketamine i had like two or three more vials of ketamine i cooked them up in the microwave you know i went digging through cook them up in the microwave how do you how do you handle ketamine well you i mean it's best I never just like injected shit. I just never got that far. But you just cook it in the microwave and it evaporates like the maybe water.

I don't know. And you're left with like the plate. It's like crusted to the plate. And then you scrape it up with like a card. And then what do you do with that? Snort it. Snort it. Yeah.

Now, how did you get started on ketamine because ketamine is like a cat i love that shit dude i love dude like uh that was my favorite man first time first time i tried it i don't think so neil brennan uh he's a co-creator of the chappelle show stand-up comic funny guy he's been taking ketamine treatments for depression. Oh my God. It's one of the more recent, one of the more. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah. It's one of the more recent treatments for depression. Why? That they've been, well, because it resets the way you, any intense psychedelic experience and ketamine, even though it's a tranquilizer is thought of as a pretty intense.

It's basically a pharmaceutical PCP. Really? That's how you look at it? Yeah. It dissociative. It's basically a pharmaceutical PCP. Really? That's how you look at it? Yeah. It's what it is, man, really. But did you have out-of-body experiences or any experiences where you felt like you went into another dimension and tripped,

you know, the K-hole experience? Some of the experiences I had with ketamine, like depth perception, like way fucking distraught. Like some fear and loathing shit, you know? Like you're not, like, uh, uh, depth perception, like way fucking distraught. It's like some fear and loathing shit, you know? Like you're not, like, you know about it.

Like I've been, I remember like, like my fucking feet are like 30 feet away. It was fucked up. I remember one time I was in a, in a, in a hotel room in London, just like with,

with just way too much of the shit. And like, and at one point the whole hotel room just started free-falling. From the sky? Well, not... Like, looking up. Rather than... I could actually see kind of an elevator shaft type deal

that it was falling through. You know? It was just the hotel room started free-falling. And I'm like, just thinking, whoa! And I remember being so stoked I was thinking I remember thinking Jim Morrison doesn't have shit on me like I'm so good at being a drug addict you know like uh or whatever you know but um so yeah I'm cooking up the ketamine and whatever and I pack is it come but does it come in a liquid form it comes in a vial

so it's initially a vial where you would stick a needle into. A needle and it would shoot into a cat usually. Sure. It's like cat toy closet. I think horse as much. Yeah? Horse? Uh-huh.

I mean, PCP started out as an anesthetic. That was the idea for it. But yeah, within like two hours of walking out of jail, I have my buddy videotaping me. I'm jumping up and down on the roof of a parked car, screaming, God is the sun. Whatever that means, you know? And like this... Hey, you're so profound.

I've got it figured out, man. He's the sun. You fucking need the sun for plants, dude. And this squad of security guards comes over and like, what's going on? I mean, it's amazing that I didn't go right back into jail for another. I have pockets full of drugs, you know? And that bender lasted for i don't know like

maybe 24 hours and now i'm i've got you know my three days is is like i've got one more day i got to be out of the apartment so i send the mass email list i say hey you know like and with all the jackass guys on it but of course 200 like high power people in hollywood need to know this that like hey kn Knoxville and guys, I gotta be out of my apartment tomorrow. And I'm not fucking leaving my apartment. I don't wanna fucking leave here until I jump out of my bedroom window,

which will be like a 25-foot drop onto the sidewalk. And I need you guys to bring something for for me to land on preferably a hot tub i wanted to like put a hot tub like and and cannonball into it out of my bedroom window and and uh in my sliding glass door in the living room i could pull it open and i wanted to put it like a ramp in the living room and ride a motorcycle like off the ramp through the sliding glass door and jump onto the roof of the building. Can you imagine if you own an apartment building and this motherfucker rents a spot here?

Noxel makes fun of me about the sliding glass door because he's like, there's a three-foot gap to the building next door. That part was a gimme. So I said, Noxel, you guys come over and bring a fucking camera. We're going to fucking start filming Jackass 3. And get over here. Come on, man. Before I leave, we're going to fucking start filming, like, Jackass 3. And, like, you know, get over here. Come on, man, before I leave, we're going to do my eviction party stunts. And so basically I scheduled my own intervention.

Knoxville reached out to Dr. Drew, who was on the list, the email list. He's like, hey, Steve-O's, like, about to die. And Dr. Drew said, yeah, you're right. You know, he said said get over there and fucking if you gotta tie him up put him in the trunk like uh and take him to the hospital oh and that the other part i said if you don't bring anything for me to land on i'm fucking jumping anyway i promise i'm ready to die so they printed that up it was like i'm me threatening my own life which qualified me for the 5150 law where you can lock someone into a

psychiatric ward wow so they came over to for my intervention and and like they're like it wasn't like the kind of intervention where like where they ask if you're willing to accept help you know it's like like we're taking you to the psych ward this is what's going to happen if you don't like it we're going to kick your ass and take you anyway so they take me to the psych ward this is what's going to happen if you don't like it we're going to kick your ass and take you anyway so they take me to the psych ward for like the 72 hour hold which is like you know everybody's been on that you know like britney spears or like you know the whole deal but the thing was when we got there i was like spitting on people i was just like not fucking cool and like i was trying to like throw shit around and you know like i'm like when i remember because when i thought i was going to like explain that it was a misunderstanding and be out of there.

But what happened was they had the emails printed out where I'm saying I'm ready to die. And so they had me. I wasn't talking my way out of it. Once I realized I wasn't getting out of it, then I'm like, fuck. I would go to take a chair and throw it. And like, I get fucking tackled by like these orderly dudes, you know, and they slam me onto this fucking like stretcher, like bed thing with straps on it. And like someone jabs a needle in my butt cheek.

And then I just straight took a nap. Like that Thor is eating shit, man. Like it was gnarly, man. So they just held you down and whacked you with that stuff. Yeah. They just held me down and fucking jammed into my butt cheek and I was out, dude. And then I woke up from my nap and,

and, uh, I'm in, it was so funny too. It was at Cedars Sinai, the Thallians, you know, like,

uh, what's that mean? Thallians was just the mental health, like, uh, like division or whatever. So like they have, um, they've. So they had two wings of the psych ward there. They've got the standard issue, harmful to yourself or others,

committed for the involuntary psychiatric hold. Then they've got something else, the extraordinarily qualifying individuals know, like, the extraordinarily qualifying individuals, you know? And that's you. The something else wing. Yeah.

So they had me on the something else wing. Whoa. Yeah, and like my roommate was like fucking, like hiding in the closet from like fucking...

Demons. Oh, dude, it was, I mean, I had been hearing voices for like a couple years. You know? Like...

But nothing like this guy. What did the voices say? Oh dude. Steve-o, you're the best. No dude. Take two of yourself on your back. I had angels and demons, you know? Like some of them would tell me like, you're worthless, you need to die. And I would be like trying to suffocate myself to death, you know? Like, some of them would tell me, like, you're worthless, you need to die.

And I would be, like, trying to suffocate myself to death, you know? Really? Well, yeah. I mean, not, like, with anything. I'm just holding my breath. You know? It was a game. So noncommittal. Well, no, man.

That was, like, a... I want to die. Yeah. Well, right, right. You're right. But that was... The whole thing was I was hearing voices because I was huffing so much nitrous oxide. Oh, Jesus. And, like, while... While you were doing ketamine? While I was hearing voices because I was huffing so much nitrous oxide. Oh, Jesus.

While you're doing ketamine? While I was doing cocaine. I need to smoke this joint. Just fucking relax. I can't with you in the room. I know. You make me feel so much better about myself. I used to watch interventions so that I could feel better about myself.

I'm worried about your health more than I'm worried about you overdosing. It's a slow deterioration of your fiber. Like the stuff that keeps you together. You talking to me or him? I'm fine now. I feel great now. I feel like I just worked out after talking to Steve. You just had some wheatgrass juice in a yoga class? I just worked out after talking to Steve yeah I mean but whatever like they said so now I'm into something else word like

people are like that not people one guy I remember one guy like shit on the fucking ground and was like breakdancing in it like trying to like I mean it sounds like i'm making it up i swear i'm not dude he was his goal was to like smear it around and spread it around as much as he could and this is in the room with you no no that was in the hallway jesus christ that was in the hallway it was another dude it's break dancing on his own shit i mean it looked like it was break dancing but he was like he took a shit and he was trying to smear it around as much as he could. And so it just looked like he was breakdancing. And they had me in there. And because I was so, because I was so belligerent, I was so belligerent that they changed my status from 5150 to 5250, which meant they had like, like 5150 is three days, 5250 is two weeks. So they had me for two weeks. And like, after like four days, then they moved me over to the to the regular psych ward. And like I was in there and this guy who is like a fucking he says he's a heroin addict and he's a patient and like he's got this book

about alcoholism and he's like dude you have you really like this book can really help you like you need this book and I'm like why is a fucking heroin addict giving me a book about alcoholism when we're both like on suicide watch in a psych ward you know like what what's the deal and I was like at the point I was like I'm like dude I can't I can't get sober psych ward, you know, like what, what's the deal? And I was like, at the point I was like, I'm like, dude, I can't, I can't get sober. I couldn't, you know, I was, I honestly felt like, like not even felt like, I mean, like just core belief, you know, that like, if I could have ever gotten sober, like I was past that point, I was too far down the line. I was a write-off, a lost cause. And like like, so I just, you know, like, from when the fucking first time I was in rehab, you know?

Like, there's, like, there's no chance. And so, like, one night, like, I couldn't sleep. And I, like, just opened this fucking stupid book. Like, not to find a solution, but straight up to kill time. You know, that's all I'm trying to do. And I'm reading it, and it's talking about, like, you know, like like hopeless alcoholics determined to die and this and that and then like they they become like you know they get better or whatever you know they become like the finest men you could meet and i'm like just remember reading and thinking like dude what

it's saying is like that the more hopeless the more fucked up you are the better the chances for recovery which is actually really fully. Why is that? Because if you have like any inkling like that, like you can manage it, that you could get better, that you could stop on your own, then you're just straight up, not a candidate.

That's the rock bottom theory. Pretty much. And it's, it's, it's true. Like if, if, if you feel like you got it or it's not that big of a deal, because like,

that's Brian. Right. Right. That's Brian. He's fine.'s i mean like step one we admitted we were powerless over alcohol you know or drugs or whatever the case may be like like like and then that like that i successfully did you know like i can't do it i'm fucking powerless and so that's like the first step that's like the prerequisite and so it's like

i don't know and then these guys come in and talk about alcoholism and I wouldn't have fucking ever listened to a word they said but they like you know but I was locked up in a psych ward and so I did and I'm like

you know thinking there's nothing I could do about it but they told their stories and how they lived and I'm like oh well these guys can do it

you know and so I was just like my life is a fucking mess I was in the psych ward long enough to be like okay my life's a fucking mess like it's time and I went to rehab and you know like and so you've been clean from seven and a

half years just from that moment on from the psych ward on wow and has there been any moments where you attempted to go off the wagon yeah i mean sure but like not like i i went from there like door to door, into a rehab. And I remember because I knew from the fucking back in the day, the whole 95% of alcoholics don't get sober. The guy who was in charge of the rehab back then, it was Dr. Drew. He was the chemical dependency director of this hospital in Pasadena. Nice place to go, Pasadena and uh and i was nice place to go pasadena yeah

and i i told drew i said i said hey man you know i'm like right out of fresh out of the psych ward like you know and i'm like i was such a fucking character i was like and i'm like dude i know that like i know that you know the odds are not in my fucking favor i know like i don't want to waste my time if i'm going to do this, I want to get it right. So I told Drew, however long you recommend that I, you know, that I stay here, I want to stay significantly longer because I want to give myself, like, you know, I want to give myself an advantage. He said, that's great, you know, but, like, don't stay here more than 30 days. If you're really serious, go into, like, a sober living, you know,

like a halfway house kind of a deal. And so I did, man. I did everything those fucking people told me. I did like all the fucking recovery shit that they talk about. I did it all. And I went into that fucking sober living, and I stayed there until I had two full years of sobriety. You stayed in sober living for two years?

Well, I was bouncing around treatment for six months. Because I was having a tough time with it. I just stayed in fucking treatment. When you say bouncing around treatment. Well, I did 30 days there. Then I went into a sober living that doubled. It was sort of mid-level care. So I was free to go at night as long as I was home by curfew.

But all day long, we had all of our little groups and structured rehab activities. How much does all this shit cost? It's got to be stupid expensive. It was stupid. The 30 days was like 100 grand. Oh, my God. What the fuck? And I didn't even necessarily know that.

So how did you pay for all this? I paid for it with my own money. Oh, my God. So you're just burning through your savings while you're in there. Burning through savings, yeah. Big time. Oh my God. So six months and then two years.

It's better than the fucking $300,000 I spent on fucking suing these fucking people I knew I was going to get nothing out of. You spent $300,000 suing people that you knew you were going to get nothing out of? Right. I got my back catalog. These guys that I had a distribution deal with. I got my back catalog of DVDs, but whatever. That's not worth anything anymore.

It was just a straight resentment fucking investment. Oh, I see. I just wanted to fuck their lives up. Yeah, I know that feeling. And I did it, but it cost me $300,000. Rehab was a better investment. Yeah. So while you're in there, are you working?

Hell no. Nothing. I had fucking burned all my bridges, man. You know? Like, I mean, we weren't doing anything with Jackass. And, like, anything else I had going on, like, I had a TV show, which was really, like, did well in the ratings. But I was such a fucking nightmare that they canceled it just on the grounds that they did not want to fuck with me. Wow.

I had the spot right after Monday Night Raw, the wrestling on the USA Network. Wow. I came on immediately after, and I kept a fucking whopping percentage of their viewership. What was the name of the show? Dr. Steve-O. I went around in a fucking modified ambulance

with a hot chick and a fucking 365 pound black like football player driver dude just trying to de-wussify america one wussy at a time you know what were you trying to get them to do i would accept like in submissions where people would be like dr steve i need your help like i you know i'm a wussy like this is my my unique case and i would prescribe for them some kind of like outrageous like jackass bullshit to make them come out of their shell or like, it was good, man. Like,

uh, I did a great job. The problem was that as soon as the camera stopped rolling, I fell off of the radar. And except for my, my, like, uh,

the, it was, it was with Buniman Murray, the production company. Like I did my, I would be I started openly attacking John Murray. Why?

For 200 people. Because he wouldn't pay somebody, one of my buddies, something I wanted them to get paid for, which they weren't obligated to fucking pay in the first place, but I'm trying to ruin his reputation with all these, you know know on my fucking crazy

email list and that was what killed that was what killed the show despite the fact that it was like number one in its fucking time slot oh my god so i didn't have that fucking to to get to distract me from my recovery so you are doing you're just doing nothing but recovery i was doing nothing so how do you spend your days like when you're doing that um well i mean, you're just doing nothing but recovery. I was doing nothing but recovery. So how do you spend your days, like, when you're doing that? Well, I mean, when you're in rehab, rehab, like, you got, like, fucking structured shit all day long. What does that mean? Like, what do you do? I mean, like, different kind of groups.

Like, they take you out to various kinds of meetings, you know? Like, you got, like, fucking, like, little therapy bits. Like, you know, like you got like fucking like little therapy bits, like, you know, whatever. It's basically like summer camp. It's just everything is geared towards teaching how to stay sober. All day long. Yeah. Well, how much can they teach you about staying sober?

I'm confused. There's like, there's a lot. I mean, a lot of it's redundant. Yeah, but I mean, it's going on for two years. Oh, no, no. I'm talking about the first 30 days. I'm, a lot of it's redundant. Yeah, but I mean, it's going on for two years. Oh, no, no. I'm talking about the first 30 days. I'm talking about the first 30 days. So the first 30 days is like teaching you like coping mechanisms.

Yeah, and mostly just sort of keeping you in a safe environment is really what it is. Keeping you occupied and drilling it into your head that you can do this. Right. And like 30 days isn't going to do shit for anybody because it's such a slow process, you know? But, like,

it was great for me to stay and sort of end that environment for two years because, you know, then I'm an undisciplined motherfucker, you know? By the end of it, I was so,

like, used to, like, being up by 9 a.m. with my bed made, like, pissing into fucking plastic cups like at random, you know, twice a week,

like scrubbing the toilet when it's my turn to scrub the toilet, you know, like keeping everything, you know, and I did that and I'm filming Jackass 3D. I'm like, oh yeah, like I gotta go fucking get launched into the fucking sky in a port-a-potty full of dog shit, you know. I might be a little bit late for curfew tonight

you know like or whatever you know like and i had this curfew what time i on the on the the weekdays it was 10 and then on the weekends it was 11 or 12 what or maybe no i think it was 11 on the weekdays and 12 on the weekends. I think it's hilarious that after a certain time of night, like they think you're just going to get wacky. Well, I mean, whatever. You can't stay up. You can't go to a diner.

You know what, dude? It saved my life, man. It fucking saved my life big time and I'm so fucking stoked about it. So just the schedule, the rigid schedule, the routine. Yeah, the structure, man.

The structure. Did you enjoy it in there? Did you have fun? Did you meet nice people? I mean, I remember it pretty well. My roommate was cool and he snored, which was the fucking greatest thing ever because I knew when it was cool to jack off, you know? You know?

It's like the sweet sounds of snoring. You know? Because it's like awkward jacking off with a guy in the room. But if he's snoring, it's like the sweet sounds of snoring. You know, because it's like awkward jacking off with a guy in the room. But if he's snoring, it's totally cool. Right. Yeah. Meanwhile, the dude's fake snoring with one eye open, watching you beat up, and he's joining him. Oh. In the middle of you jerking off, you hear him moaning.

Dude, that was fine, man. I mean, that helped a lot. If he didn't snore, I would have had a tougher time. So are you allowed to have relationships when you're in there? Are you supposed to stare clear of anything that can sort of distract you? I mean, there's no hard and fast rule about that. They say avoid getting in a relationship in your first year. Your first year?

Yeah, I got into a relationship. I mean, i got your first year yeah i got into a relationship i mean i like what if you find like the perfect girl yeah i mean it happens sorry bitch working on my sobriety right it happens you know but like there's just not like you know like relationships gone sideways is like the number one fucking thing that makes people get loaded oh right that makes sense yeah so it's good to like kind of like you know just worry about about you know your sobriety but i had seven months and i got in a relationship with a chick who had like one year and it was cool you know like we were like it lasted for like 10 months so when you're in there you're in there for 30 days This is the hardcore version and then you go from the 30 days to like a living situation And now how is that like a house like how's that work?

It was like an apartment complex that point so it's an apartment. You got your own apartment then yeah, but I hate Park No skate park. Yeah That was my thing I was a man. I used to have fucking four apartments in one building now i got four dudes in one apartment so you had to live with other people in your apartment i had a roommate and you know there's two two-bedroom apartment and two guys in each room what yeah and that was the deal why is that the deal because they want to make sure you're not alone by yourself uh do devious i guess i mean like, you know, I guess that's kind of the deal. But like now what happened there, like,

and we would have groups from like, you know, eight or nine in the morning until two in the afternoon and then you're free to go. And I would be like skateboarding or whatever, like trying to film some wacky shit or whatever, you know, like I didn't do like much, like,

like in a professional sense. And I was working with, you know, I was working on all this 12-step shit. So I would do the searching and fearless moral inventory, where we go through basically what have we done that we feel... We make a list of resentments, we make a list of fears, and we make a list of shit we feel guilty about. It's basically how it works. And like, you know, I started off with just the shit I felt guilty about. And I'm like, Oh,

like I was, I just basically wrote a list of like the shit that I felt like, you know, the most terrible about. And when, when I went through it, like, and this is like total, if anyone's in recovery, like avoid, like making this mistake. I treated it like I was just like, if anyone's in recovery, like avoid like making this mistake. I treated it like I was just like, you know, putting myself on trial for being a bad person. And like, you know, the whole point is just to figure out like what, and you take an inventory and like you discard what's not helpful and you keep what is, you know. You just discontinue shit that doesn't serve you.

But I'm like, no, i'm a terrible person i did this and this and this and this and then i'm like oh fuck you know and and like i was just god like went into like a gnarly depression and felt like i'd fucking i don't deserve to live you know like whatever and like i fucking checked myself into psych ward number two you know while you were in recovery yeah i had because you were going over i had like three months of sobriety and I went to one of my meetings and I was like, all the work I'm putting into my fucking recovery, all I feel like I'm getting out of it is self-hatred. I feel like I just can't forgive myself for the shit I've done. I fucking hate myself.

And this all came about from just doing an inventory on your past. Pretty much, yeah. Wow. And it says you know in some of the literature man it says that like you know uh the inventory process will like you know bring about like self-loathing for a lot of people when we take an honest look at like the fucking pieces of shit that we became like that's like a a not an uncommon side effect you know like but so what what sort of tools do they give you to to look at your past

but not not be angry at yourself not judge yourself well i mean i i don't know like like when i'm helping guys get sober i try and tell them look man this isn't a process of putting you on trial man this is just fucking figuring out what to stop doing you know and that's the best thing i can say about it but when i was in that second psych ward like uh you know i was like like i wrote i wrote some letters to people who have felt the most fucked up about what i'd done you know and like and it actually kind of turned around where i was like you know i was like today i'm fucking so thankful for the shit that i did that i felt that bad about because like like, no longer is it like, oh, I don't deserve to live because I did that.

Like, for me today, it's like I'm fucking desperate to not be that fucking asshole anymore, you know? And so it turned into, you know, and, like, when I first went in, I was, like, kind of thought, like, man, this is going to be my new thing. I'm going to get sober and, like, you know, I'm going to and, like, you know, the world's going to kind of owe me. I'm going to revive my career a little bit. But once I got through that point of, like, you know, sort of the fucking, you know, the dust settling and me being confronted with what I had turned into, then it wasn't even about what can I get out of it.

You know, it was just about I don't want to be that fucking guy anymore and so i came out of that second rehab or that second psych ward and i was so desperate to not be that fucking piece of shit anymore and i was like dude i'm starting over and i went into the fucking like i went into another rehab like the fucking like uh the hardcore you know and i was just like i'm doing this to to be i like i had my priorities straight you know and then i was there for 60 days and i said by the time i finished that it was six months and then i went into like the regular sober living and so that there's a lot of fucking money you're spending here yeah the the last rehab was seven uh 7500 per month. So at least I, but yeah,

fucking, it was like 30 grand that second rehab. I don't remember the second psych ward. I spent a lot of money on it, man. Fucking whatever.

What are the guys that you were in the apartment with? What did those guys do for a living that they could afford to live in this shack? I paid the rent and I paid him each like a thousand bucks a month

to do nothing. Why'd you pay him money? For what? Well, one guy was just said that like he was on call to edit whatever footage like that, you know, that, uh, that, that I wanted edited, you know, like to help me broadcast my downward spiral basically, you know, like it puts some really upsetting videos. So the people that you were living in the assisted situation, like this is post the major rehab, right? You were in the major rehab for 30 days and then you were in the apartment.

Right. I mean, there's different levels of rehab. But, yeah, like, yeah, and I wound up like back and, yeah, I mean, I was in the whole deal. At one point I was in the house for a while sharing a bedroom with the guy who snored. deal. At one point I was in a house for a while sharing a bedroom with the guy who snored and you know at the end I was in the apartment but it was all the same deal. And what did these guys

do for a living that they could afford to take all this time off of life too? The sober living situation was like that was like $1,000 a month and that covers like your meals as well. So it's kind of more cost effective

than if you're gonna try and find an apartment or anything like that and in the sober living situation it's like these guys work during the day and they would come there and stay with you if you don't work you have to do a certain number of hours of uh of service work so i would volunteer at a nursing home. Whoa. Yeah. It was dope, man. Like, I would just go fucking hang out with old people and I'd call the bingo numbers. Yeah. And then I would, like, go and fucking film a movie for Paramount.

Like, I'd be like, oh, hey, guys, I'm not going to be able to call bingo tomorrow because I'm going to be like drinking a fat guy's sweat. So when did it feel like you were free of the monkey? You know, when was the monkey off your back?

Well, I was never free of the monkey. Never? Never? Like right now, you're not free? I mean, whatever.

Like, I just have like a way that I live my life you know that um i still stay connected it's like a fridge man you know like uh if you unplug the fridge then everything and it's gonna go rotten you know like you gotta fucking stay plugged in which means that like these things that that we do to stay sober like you just fucking keep like what kind of things well like helping other people stay sober is like the biggest thing you know, like, you just fucking keep doing it. Like, what kind of things? Well, like, helping other people stay sober is, like, the biggest thing, you know? Yeah.

Like, you know, you help, you take people through their 12 steps. And who are these people that you take through? Do you know them? I mean, whatever. Like, you meet them sort of in the community, you know, like, they'll ask you, like, will you be my sponsor?

And so when you have a sponsor, they call you up in the middle of the night, hey, I'm thinking about doing heroin, that kind of thing talk them down that that is the idea it's better to call before you do it than after right because there's no point in talking to a loaded dude and how often do you do this like how often you work with people uh i mean it depends like most guys like aren't like that active where they actually really call a lot. But I'm always starting a guy. There's always guys I'm starting off. Really?

And just very few of them stick with it where they get. The guys I've taken all the way through the steps, there's been two. Two out of how many? Oh, my God. Well over 100. So out of how many? Oh, my God. Well over 100. So out of 100 people, two of them have become totally sober.

I mean, they've been, like, to say totally sober, I mean, you're totally sober as long as you're not loaded. Right, I mean, totally sober like you are right now. Like, you're not doing any drugs. You have no plan. One guy got all the way through the steps,

but then he's drinking again. So, you know, I got one guy that's been all the way through the steps that's still in. Do you think, are you one of those people that thinks that if you were a junkie that you have to be sober forever? Like you can't go back to, like say if you had a heroin problem, you can't drink. They say once you become a pickle, you never go back to being a cucumber. So, yeah, like, there's no, if I pick up a drink or a drug, I'm fucked. If I decide, I'll pick up exactly where I left off. And then all I want is, like, to make sure I'm doing enough drugs that people are walking around my fucking apartment, my house,

who are not actually there. But I know people that used to be like heroin addicts that can have beer, they can smoke a little weed. Yeah, they can get away with it, man. Then power to them. It's dangerous to even try. Why is it dangerous, though? I mean, if they're free of it, like, okay, here's

a perfect example. Anthony Bourdain. He was a heroin addict. He was a junkie, full on. He still likes to have a beer. He likes to drink, doesn't drink at home. Perry Farrell, I think, is like that. You know, he can't have heroin. He drinks wine or whatever.

Hey, man, power to him. But for me... But for you, it's not... Yeah, I come from a long line of alcoholics, man. Like, the way that my family is structured, or my lineage... Like, Dad was like a... a broke the mold of his family dad comes from a line of of like academics like phds scholars theologians zoologists like and he broke the mold of his family by becoming a businessman and a super successful one at that. Mom's side of the family, everybody is alcoholic, drug addict, gambler, suicide. How'd your mom and dad meet? Partying.

She was super hot, you know? But yeah, so like everybody in my mom's side of the family is either dead or dying from alcoholism. I would say, I mean, my cousins my cousins i guess i don't know my one cousin's a mortician whoa yeah that's a drug in and of itself i went to clown college he went to mortician school at the same time what's clown college ringling brothers and barnum and bailey clown college for real yeah what do you do uh this is an exploding shoe well like when i would like you know i said i left the university of miami i wanted to become For real? Yeah. What do you do? This is an exploding shoe. Well, like, when I, like, you know, I said I left the University of Miami. I wanted to become a crazy stuntman.

Right. And all I really accomplished, like, with that, you know, even with all my crazy skills with drinking bong water, like, I couldn't get a job. Like, and so I was just, like, homeless for three years, just getting arrested and fucking hospitalized. You were homeless for three years? Well, I like, homeless for three years, just getting arrested and fucking hospitalized. You were homeless for three years? Well, I was couch surfing for three years. I had the government test money or test drugs on me for money.

What? Yeah. Like, I mean, they do medical studies for, like, they do medical studies for whatever, you know? Like, if it's going to come in contact with the human body, like, if it's a toothpaste or something, they got to do a medical study. But if it's a toothpaste, then they got to do a medical study but if it's a toothpaste then you're not gonna get paid shit if it's fucking drugs for pigs and cows then then you make it like based on how dangerous the study is the more money you get and so I wouldn't signed up for to have drugs for pigs and cows tested on me which I which

I recently found out the drug is was banned jesus fucking christ yeah because like this was in like 19 the in january of 94 you're like a house that you like you get to the back like whoa that's the last door hold on what's that over there open that oh jesus a whole nother house in here yeah it was like they they want like you know 1994 like whatever the january of 94 and they wanted to to pass this drug uh through the fda uh called rectopamine hydrochloride and the goal of that they didn't know much about it except they knew that it would make the cattle like uh more lean like uh it would would increase the muscle mass, decrease the fat, but it would work the opposite way of steroids somehow.

It was so that they could appeal to a more health-conscious market. They could sell leaner meat, less fat. But the thing is that if it's going to become legal, then by the virtue of the fact that when people eat the meat, they're going to get a minute trace of this drug in the in you know the meat now they have to not only test the drug on people but they have to test like how much can the people withstand so like oh my god they knew they knew that it was going to like increase our heart rates like uh you know and so what they the target for the study was to give it to us until somebody in the study um had their resting heart

rate like laying down resting like 150 beats a minute like um and it turned out that i had like the fucking most badass heart in the study like like The only time I went over 100 was when the guy monitoring my heart with the ultrasound thing. They show the baby on the screen. He was telling me stories about killing people in Vietnam or some shit. What? Yeah, it was telling me war stories, and that got my heart. What kind of stories was he telling you? I can't remember. you know, yeah, it was like, uh, telling me like war stories and that got my heart. Like, uh,

you know, normally like, like what kind of stories was he telling? I can't remember. It was just like, he was in the war and he killed people. And I was telling you while he's doing an ultrasound in your heart. Yeah. I could kill you right now.

And the same guy, the same guy, when he was looking at it, it showed like your blood, like going in your heart, like a red and coming out of your heart blue, like on the screen. It was really fucking cool. And, uh, and I just had like a strong heart, red, and coming out of your heart, blue, on the screen. It was really fucking cool.

And I just had a strong heart. He said, man, what a squeeze. What a squeeze. What a squeeze. So it's just gone through a lot. So yes, I got $2,000. Strengthened it. Yeah, and I was homeless anyway.

They gave you $2,000? Dude, I did that in Austin, Texas, too. Oh, yeah? Yeah, that was in Austin, Texas at this place called pharmaco lsr you know i told you i got in the van with that guy and we drove out to northern california to to lake tahoe to try and get jobs washing dishes at squaw valley to get free snowboard passes but it wasn't snowing so then we went to fucking colorado and i got a job like cleaning a meat room at a supermarket, and that sucked. So I went with this other dude and drove to Austin, Texas,

and slept on a roof until we got into the medical study. And then we left with two grand, and we were stoked. And then I wound up getting a car and following the Grateful Dead and selling drugs. Jesus Christ. And I was homeless for like three years. And periodically I'd get my hands on cameras and do really fucked up shit, dead and selling drugs and jesus like uh and i was homeless for like three years and um and like periodically i'd get my hands on cameras and do really fucked up shit but you know i was getting video footage but like ultimately like you know i just fucking was really bummed dude it wasn't it

didn't like after three years i couldn't take anymore and i reached out to my sister and she let me move in with her in albuquerque and And I was like, I would eat all her food and I wouldn't fucking work. I had no money. And if I did have money, I was loaded and I was loud. So when my sister found out about Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Billy Clown College, she's like, dude, this could be the way to get my brother the fuck out of my house. So she told me about it. I got home and she's like, how are you getting to Denver by Monday? And i hitchhiked from albuquerque to denver and i got there in two rides and just

fucking went ape shit have you written a book uh-huh okay is this all in the book totally dude my book at my books like uh it barely made the new york times bestseller list but that's because you didn't come on here first probably yeah I got if people had heard these fucking stories and knew that they were in the book Oh my god barely made the best New York Times bestseller list But they're like my number one I'm most proud of my book is my masterpiece man like on Amazon It's got like the the cumulative average rating is a full five out of five stars There's no fucking partial stars even people who hate me and want to hate my book give it a full five out of five stars. Wow. There's no fucking partial stars. Even people who hate me and want to hate my book,

give it a fucking five stars. Did you write it yourself? I worked with a writer on it, but I don't think anybody has been more involved in the collaboration. That's awesome. We bounce out of that shit

back and forth. I'm like, dude, I would never use that word. I worked my dick off on that fucking book. Your story's fucking insane. It's like it just has layers upon layers upon layers. Well, thanks, I worked my dick off on that fucking book. Your story is fucking insane. It's like it just has layers upon layers upon layers. Well, thanks, man.

You know? And that's kind of, like, what's dope about the fucking, like, the comedy show, man. I'm, like, really bummed to, like, to retire, like, my shit, you know? How are you retiring it? What do you mean? Well, you know, like, you retire material once the fucking special comes out. Yeah, we make new stuff. Of course.

Yeah, please. It's a Of course. Yeah, please. It's an opportunity for growth. Right. You want to be a comedy factory, not a comedy warehouse. That's one way to look at it. Yeah, that's the only way to look at it. Well, your comedy should kind of represent who you are right now. If you're doing comedy from 20 years ago, it doesn't really represent who you are right now.

Right, of course. And the whole, I don't fucking, like I i told you it's like the history is like super condensed you know like uh you know so that it's like funny and with the story points i like on story points i have like when i say like about how i graduated from ringling brothers and barnum and billy clown college but like i wasn't one of the clowns who got fucking contract with the circus so i had to like borrow money to get a fucking greyhound bus back to albuquerque new mexico where i hung my fancy clown costume in the fucking closet and sold shitty weed and the bags of fucking weed i sold did not weigh anywhere near what they were supposed to weigh but in my life fucking sucked really bad but after i got done ripping you off like at least i would show you like a fucking epic

Unbelievable cool trick like this one and then like on that point like we'll fucking bring Bring the thing like the table out and I'm gonna fucking show you the most incredible bar trick ever So when did you when did you put this book out? 2011 and did you go on the full tour do all all these radio shows? I mean, I did, like, radio tour. Like, I went on Howard Stern. Well, see, that must have helped, right? Yeah, I mean, I didn't do, like, terrible, you know? But I feel like you need, like, a platform where you could just talk for hours and hours and hours.

Right. It'd be cool if I had, like, a podcast, too. I just, like, you know. That's what I'm saying. Right, man. Everybody's tired of me going, dude, you should have a podcast. Right, but then's what I'm saying right man everybody's tired of me going dude you should have a podcast

right but then again on the other hand I should sell a t-shirt that says dude you should have a podcast right because I've said it to so many people

but does anybody that should have a podcast unfortunately like a lot of those fucking people took you up on it not every podcast is the Joe Rogan

experience dude you know like it's the most fucking annoying question ever like hey will you do my podcast it's dude you know like it's the most fucking annoying question ever like hey will you do my podcast it's like you know when you get cornered by your buddy and like yeah some people are yeah they did not but it's it's one of those things where you got to kind of work at it it doesn't seem like you have to work on it like stand up stand up is sort of the

same way of course we were doing kill tony last night that's one of the things i wanted to tell people like it seems like it's just you talking, but you have to figure out how people are perceiving you. For sure. And that's a big part of doing a podcast too, but you would be really good at it. You really would. I think it would be good, man.

If you just did one a week, it would take you a year or two to run out of stories. I mean, not even necessarily like who knows if like we're gonna tell stories about shit that happened or what's going on yeah i mean of course dude do you have like a guy that you could do it with we could bounce shit off him do you have a good buddy that you've thought about like vibe well with i've thought about doing it you know there's this fucking platform this uh this um whatchamacallit uh it's called you now one of these streaming things like periscope or meerkat but like but the fucking dude this is so crazy like

you now and like everybody who is a user of this platform like uh like it has an account that they like put money into and so the way it works is like while you're streaming Like you like their questions show up and they want you to answer their questions so they'll like they have like different denominations of like money that they like Give you like you like a cam girl now My agents my agents like like bullied me into doing it. I tried it, right? And I just sat there just telling stories to the fans that were fucking watching. And by the end of it, I was on there for like 39 minutes, and then I fucking ended the stream.

And it's like, you just made $1,000. What? I need to jump on that right now. I felt like a fucking panhandler. It is very cam girl-esque yeah but if you did that all the time it would probably at least pay for a studio if you set up a studio somewhere i mean for sure but you don't want see you don't want to people to have to pay to ask you questions i don't yeah like i said i felt like a fucking panhandler

and i hated it and i haven't done it since. Yeah. I did this show and the guy who promoted the show, I didn't know about it, something that Brian Callen set up. Love that guy, man. Love that guy. What a fucking guy. But this guy had set it up and I love Brian too, but he doesn't pay attention to shit. He's not like real good with details. I had to ask him a bunch of questions about the show.

Like, hey man, there's a guy who's a DJ who's saying that he's spinning records in between us. Is there a fucking break in between us where there's a DJ who's saying that he's spinning records in between us. Are we, is there a fucking break in between us where there's a DJ coming? Oh, I'll check, I'll check. It's just you and I.

I get there, it's not just me and him. It's me, him, there's a fucking MC, three local comics, a girl who's doing 20 minutes and it was a disaster. We had to clean up

this giant mess. On this podcast? No, no, no. It was a comedy show. But anyway, the guy had made people pay extra to take pictures to meet us and take pictures. Oh, that's the worst.

Exactly. And I said, dude, you can't do that. I back up people every time. I would never do that and you can't do that. You can't do that. I take pictures with everybody. I'll do a theater and I'll wait for hours and I'll take pictures with a thousand fucking people. Of course. You can't charge people an extra 20 bucks to take pictures with me.

But this guy did it on his own. He did it on his own, as a promoter. And this is all shit that Callan just didn't pay attention to. The way I do that, and Brian's cool about taking pictures as well. Oh, yeah. No, he is totally cool. He just didn't pay attention. Right.

He just let this guy handle everything, who we didn't need in the first place. You know, what do you need? We don't need a promoter. This is Twitter't need in the first place. What do you need? We don't need a promoter. Twitter, that's the promoter. Let people know you're there. They show up. It's not that hard. What is this promoter, in quotes, doing?

What is he doing? He's just trying to get his friends on the show and trying to charge extra to take pictures. It was stupid. Right. But that's a gross model, the model of like people having to pay for vip you know entrance or all that gross shit meet and greet the um the one thing though is that the cell phone pictures like take fucking forever you know so what i do is i have my my website where like i take the pictures myself and like when when the fucking i'm so good at it i stole

your idea. We stole that. Jamie comes with me to some shows and takes pictures and we upload them. It's better. It takes way quicker. It's like one third the time. It's better, too, if you take them yourself because that way when the flash goes off, you turn the camera around and you can show the people their pictures so they can see it for quality control.

Don't let them see it. Oh, yeah? Because then they go, oh, my God, take that again. Oh, my God, delete it. I do it. Oh, my God. I do it because... The worst is girls who look at photos of themselves

and everything's great. Like, oh, my God, I hate that picture. Do it again. Yeah, but... No, no, no. This is what you look like. Yeah, but that's the thing is that for me, my camera's so fast, it's boom.

You're like, oh, no? Okay, boom. Half the time, I don't like it. Oh, no? You don't like it? Half the time, I don't like it. Oh, no? You don't like it? Half the time, I don't like it, so I'll take another one. Why don't you like it? Whatever, dude.

I want to be picky, you know? I don't like the way my teeth look. Right. So the fucking, like, and I just want the people to be really happy. I'll get a bunch of cheese from them, man. I want them to be super happy with it because I know that when they fucking go to my website and pull it, that they're going to post it on their fucking, all their social media.

And I know that they're going to post it. Yes. And then that's, that's sort of my grassroots way of letting people know what the fuck I'm doing. Yeah. No, it's a smart move. And I started doing it right after I heard you did it. I think Brian told me about it.

Yeah. And a bunch of people do that now. Right. And Gabriel does that too, right? Doesn't Gabriel do something like that? Similar? It's a smart move. At the end of every show, I say,

before I do my last fucking amazing stunt, I want to thank you guys for coming out and giving me a shot at stand-up. When I walk off the stage, I'm not going anywhere until I take a photo with every single one of you guys. Here's how you get them. You go to my fucking website, and I explain it real easy. And I and i say and one last thing if you want to get out of here a little quicker the good news is i'm a new york times best-selling author and i've got my fucking

my book and i've got my fucking like my hats my shirts and if if you guys want to get any of this shit then uh that puts you to the front of the line so i have like a merch line and then a photo oh i see so you have to go to the merch line first to get to the front of the line. So I have like a merch line and then a photo. Oh, I see. So you have to go to the merch line first to get to the photo line. Exit through the gift shop. You're fucking Disneyland, dude. Well, but that's the thing. I'm still going to take a picture with every single fucking person.

It's just not going to take a picture of the people who buy merch first. And so a lot of people would be like like oh well fuck man like i don't want to you know and i tell them like if you don't want to get anything that's great but please just let me hang out like have a drink whatever like but just fucking stick around and get that picture so i can thank you in person and uh a lot of people will think like man like you know i want to get a picture you know i don't really want to buy anything but like fuck i'll just buy something to get the fuck out of here so you end up selling like way more merch you know and nobody feels like you're a dick you know you still stick around and take a photo with every every one of the fuckers the only problem with selling things is you gotta deal with people like 20 dude like

those people like oh just right but how many don't. Don't buy it. How many people are out there selling fucking a one fucking side, one color fucking shirt for 35, 40 bucks? Like, Andrew Dice Clay sells like a fucking one color screen. Brings five shirts. Yeah, he actually brings like five shirts and he auctions them off. Oh, I don't know. I never heard about that. No, no. He sells shirts for like $500. And that's them off. Oh, I don't know. I never heard about that. No, no.

He sells shirts for like $500. I mean, and that's the thing. I'm not kidding. Yeah, I charge 20 bucks for whatever, but I sign every last fucking, so I say like, hey, you know, you can have a five-star New York Times bestseller that's autographed by the author in a picture

and 20 bucks. I don't feel bad about that. No, it's great for a book, you know. A book for 20 bucks is a great deal. You think the amount of time it's it costs you know reading a book amount of time that you spend being entertained by that book books are like the greatest bargain ever yeah i love it take days to read you know yeah i love that shit man but in any case no i'm so psyched man that you have like as much of a reach as you do man because I really we gotta fucking get this Paramount Theater

in Austin fucking packed man I'm gonna like that show is gonna be like that's my that's my show time well you're gonna

leave here and your phone's gonna be buzzing off the hook with your manager going did you say you were gonna light the Paramount on fire

you're lighting people on fire like what are you doing on fire no no it's a huge stage and like dude there's plenty of time to get out of the room. Don't worry.

Everybody will be alive. There's no great white. There was like 23 people that just died recently at a fire on stage. Oh, yeah, I saw that. It just happened again where two people in the band even died. Is it another great white? Yeah, it was just like great white. Where?

Was it Sweden or something happened? It sparked on the side of the stage and immediately the whole place caught on fire. It's a Great White. Pyrotechnics. Pyrotechnics, dude. It's not worth it. We used to have those in the UFC.

We used to have these fucking giant opening shows. Actually, I don't think we had. Yeah, we did have fire, I believe. But in Joel de Oliveira, who's like this famous fighter from Brazil, and he was fighting in Pride. And they accidentally lit him on fire. And he was on his way to the ring. And, you know, they do the boom when you're walking through, like this gateway.

They light the fire. And they fucked up the timing. They lit this fucking dude on fire as he's on his way into the ring and burnt him. And then they said, oh, you'll be back. We'll give you more money. And so, you know, it took like a year off, healed up his fucking 18 degree burns and came back a year later and fought again. Do you have anything like when you go to the doctor, do you have anything that that bothers you still to this day from like a past stunt? I know you have like a BB in your nipple, don't you?

Yeah, I got like BBs stuck in my body, but that's by choice. I have fake teeth and shitty tattoos is most of it, but my esophagus is fucked. What's wrong with your esophagus? Tomorrow morning I have a... The way you're talking, this is not natural? I have a Barrett the way you're talking? This is not natural? No, it's just like I have a... Whatchamacallit? Like a Barrett's esophagus.

It's like, you know, like warning signs for esophageal cancer from just like acid reflux and, I don't know, drugs and shitty living and vomiting. Do you take care of yourself now? Are you healthy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going in for an endoscopy tomorrow morning. No cigarettes? I haven't smoked in...

You're a vegetarian now, right? Yeah, vegan. You haven't smoked in... You're a vegetarian now, right? Yeah, vegan. You haven't smoked in... Seven years. Wow. So right when you started getting sober. Yeah, well, I was five months sober when I gave up cigarettes. Oh, okay.

And I haven't smoked weed since March 9th of 2008. So no coffee? And thanks for not smoking weed for this one. Oh, no worries, man. I appreciate it. No worries. I wouldn't want to get you secondhand lamb basted. But all those people keep telling me that's bullshit, but I know it's not.

I've had- I just like, I don't really give a fuck what people drink around me, but like the weed, because I'm like breathing it in. And like, it's like the problem is it fucking smells great, man. Who doesn't love the smell of weed? It smells great. And I do believe secondhand smoke gets you high i don't think it gets you as high as smoking pot but i think secondhand smoke still affects you i i yeah i don't even want to fuck with it and so yeah that makes sense super grateful

so um oh yeah no so vegan you're vegan yeah dude like don't even there's there's a whole other fucking like uh there's a major other door what which other door like uh and this this i mean i'm gonna fucking let people see this you know at in austin or at the showtime but it's like you know so i just fucking go to rehab and like get sober and the whole deal and then it's like all right well it's great that i've learned how to live without fucking drugs and alcohol but like now i'm gonna have to address my sex addiction you used to have a guy that followed around oh yeah i still travel with a professional cock blocker yeah i got i mean that was my deal dude like i was like you know this is a it's a mean joke i tell but you know i say i'm like i'm fucking 41 now and I'm looking at like my future.

You know, like I don't want to be 51 and falling apart and trying to hump everything that moves. I don't want to turn into Pauly Short. How dare you? How dare you? I mean, if there's a guy. I'm sure there's a few other guys. Yeah, Dave. But you could be Lemmy from Motorhead and just fucking ride that boat right into the rocks.

Vince Neil. Vince Neil. I would go with Lemmy before I would go with Vince Neil. But Lemmy from Motorhead is like 70. But the thing is, it's like, right, right. I just like, honestly, man, I'm like, fuck, dude. Like, I believe you're married right and it's like i i really believe that like to be like happy you know like it's it's important to fucking have a life partner and not run around trying to fuck everybody and screwing them over you know like

that's the deal like i like how can i give so much of a fuck about animals that i won't fucking eat an animal but i have no respect for women at all. You know, like it doesn't add up. Like, so like on my fucking path. And once I got into the meditation, like I've been doing transnational meditation for two and a half years now. And like, I couldn't, you know, once I got into that, like it was just like glaring, like a fucking flashing red light, like stop fucking screwing over chicks, you know, and fucking using them up and throwing them away.

And just like, you know, like, and whatever, if I'm on the road, like fucking hooking up with all the chicks, it's just like, it just became clear. Like that's pretty much like a path to being fucking miserable. And it's a type of addiction. Yeah, for sure. Because like, it's like anything else. So I'd like, you know, I've made myself like a promise. I'm like, okay, now I'm like, I want to fucking learn how to be in a healthy relationship because I feel like that's how I'm going to be happy and so I'm going to fucking from here on out, I'm not going to fuck random chicks. I'm going to stop trying to get my dick

sucked everywhere. But I couldn't do it, man. Like everywhere. You have like lines of women at your show. Yeah, let's stop and thinking about how funny that is All the stuff you've done To get out of drugs You've gone to rehabs for 30 days

Like I could do it you know One step at a time 12 days Well but the thing I told you Like I'm gonna walk off the fucking stage I'm not gonna go anywhere And take a picture with everybody So the whole fucking audience

Basically gets in a line And it's an audition to see who gets to suck my dick that night. Oh my goodness. That's hilarious. So you have a guy there that's...

Well, I'm all, yeah, I fucking, the whole thing. I mean, I remember like... And that guy gets his dick sucked. No, because he's a fucking, he's in the fucking sex program too.

Oh, wait, there's a sex program? Yeah. There's a whole program? If you need somebody to oversee both of you guys right I mean whatever

like I'm stoked on it man because now I'm like fucking you know like I got in therapy like the whole deal which is hilarious because like you know

my whole story arc you know is like it's pretty epic you know to go from where I was at to where I'm at now

you know at the end i think at the end of the show i'm gonna have to fucking break out my old light bulb trick and fucking slash my shit and bleed everywhere just because just not do that just just because like to fucking to try to fucking like by the end of like my fucking show it's like okay so now i'm like a fucking vegan and and you know like trying not to get my dick sucked you know like clean and sober like fucking healthy eater you know meditating like the least i can do is fucking bleed all over myself after you're you're a vegan because

you love animals that's how i got into it yeah okay but you feed your animals animals i i do feed my my dog's um dog food that has fish in it and i just i just adopted a cat so right and the same thing right right yeah they just don't like the fuck they just don't fucking like vegan dog food i did it's terrible i did it for a while they don't it's not good for their bodies they have to be like like at the point of hunger where like you're willing to eat your own fucking foot but isn't that kind of fucked up you know it's like you're choosing the animals that you love you're feeding these animals other animals that were captive i mean if you want to be like super black and white like pita then then i guess like pita i mean this is the that's the reality of

animals right i mean i just like that like i don't know i mean i hear that like the and even in my fucking canvas you know slip on vans that there's some kind of animal products in the in the rubber right yeah a lot of rubber like yeah like i'm not gonna not get photographed because there's animal products in the film you know you just can't you can't do everything a hundred fucking percent you know like i just can't, you can't do everything a hundred fucking percent, you know, like I just do the best I can and I feel better. I feel better for doing it. Yeah.

No, it's just the animal thing is weird when people are super self-righteous about killing animals and yet they have pets. For sure. Like I've, I've had a real issue with that with people. Hey, I get it, man. It's a blind spot. That's why, like, why I'm really fucking committed to not trying to tell other people what to do.

I don't... Have your Whopper, man. I don't care. Eat all the meat you want. I don't give a fuck. I'm just happier myself trying to have some compassion. And why vegan?

What about farm fresh eggs or things along those lines where nothing gets harmed? I was fucking with fish and eggs for a while. I only recently went back to being fully vegan. It was because I fucking feel tired all the time. I'm like, man, what is it? I think it's my diet.

I think if I eat fish and eggs, then all of a sudden I'll have more energy. But it didn't happen. No. Then I fucking had a sleep study. It turned out I got sleep apnea. Oh, okay. I do too. Do you use a CPAP machine? then I fucking had a sleep study. It turned out I got sleep apnea. Oh, okay. I do too. So it was never my, do you use a CPAP machine?

No, I use a mouthpiece. I tried the CPAP and I can't fucking do it. And so now I got to get the mouthpiece. I'll turn you on to a doctor that's local. That makes a really good one. A lot of people that have it, it's your tongue. I have a fat tongue. Yeah, me too I think.

And I have a thick neck. Yeah. And I went to this physician to get cleared for a TV show. And she was shining the light in the back of my throat. She said, do you feel like you sleep a whole night and wake up and you're still tired? I'm like, yes. She says, well, in the back of your throat, it's really narrow. And I think that's going to cause a sleep apnea.

Yeah, the hole's narrow. Yeah thinks i think that's going to cause a sleep apnea yeah the holes narrow yeah i have that too and also like i they've talked to me about getting an operation when they take out your adenoids and your tonsils and it's pretty intense and it's it's it sucks for like a week but then after it's over you have a larger hole and that larger hole is better for sleeping but this mouthpiece serves me well do Do you still get up to piss as much? Oh yeah if I have to piss. I try not to drink before I go to bed but if I do yeah. I piss a lot dude. Do you drink a lot?

You need sodium in your life. Lately I've been trying I got a fucking big fucking water pitcher next to my bed on the floor so I just picked up and pissed into it and put it back down. My friend Matt Sarah who's a former UFC welterweight champion when when I first met him, he had this gym in Long Island. And he used to sleep in the basement of his gym. He'd just teach and then go downstairs and sleep.

And he had this jug right next to the bed because fighters would drink like gallons of water in a day. They'd drink water all the time to flush their system out. And he would just whip his dick out, stick it in the hole. He would go with his accent he goes I didn't even get out of bed I would turn sideways put my dick in the hole

piss pull it out put the jug down right back to sleep oh dude so great man this one like water pitcher

like I don't have a very big dick or anything but like I don't even really have to like tip over man because like it's got like a little spout thing it's like one of those

classic Kool-Aid fucking like the Kool-Aid when Kool-Aid fucking... Kool-Aid? When Kool-Aid breaks through the wall? Yeah, like fucking... It's the Kool-Aid kind, so... Wow. I just flop my dick on it and I'm good to go.

So when you got a sleep study, they put all the electrodes on you and all that jazz? Yeah, for sure. And how many times did you wake up in an hour? They said that it was actually like mild to moderate, but still, man, I noticed it, dude. I gotta get that fucking mouthpiece. Yeah, it's not.

Well, you should lose weight. I need to do it for sure. Losing weight is the big one. I think that's right. It's like with Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz uses the CPAP machine, but he didn't used to have to have that. It's like when he got really big, that's when he really developed. Because the more fat you have, it all closes everything off, you know?

Right. When you see people with giant jowls, well, guess what? That fat's everywhere. It's inside your face. It's inside your neck. And all that fat will close off the hole. And when you lay back and your tongue falls over that hole, there's no air. And it's...

Right. I had to wake a guy up, man. I was on a plane. This fucking guy was not breathing for like minutes at a time. And then gacking and coughing and then i didn't wake him up but i talked to him when he woke up and i said hey man have you ever gotten checked for sleep apnea because he was he was snoring the most ungodly snore that's so funny man but it wasn't like always i'm thinking you're saying motherfucker wake up stop snoring he's like all like caring

about the guy it's like when he said like uh i'm thinking like, man, I'm going to get sued. Like, you're not worried about the kid that just got spiked on his head? You're a good guy. I try to be. But this poor guy was freaking me out because he was making these noises. And then he would go back to like. And then it would be nothing. No sound.

And I'm awake because I was writing. And it was on a long flight. And I looked over at this guy. And I'm noticing he's very overweight. And he's just lying there like this. No movement. No breathing. No movement at all in his chest.

Then all of a sudden... Oh, my God. Like, I mean, he would go... I mean, I a sudden oh my god like I mean he would go I mean I'm exaggerating by saying minutes but he would definitely go 40 seconds like I timed it

I forget what the time was but I remember being alarmed and I remember sitting up going okay I gotta talk to this guy and I had my mouthpiece with me because I bring it in my bag it moves your lower jaw forward

no no no no mine doesn't mine actually just depresses my tongue down and it keeps my tongue from falling back over my air hole it depends on what kind of sleep apnea you have i have that central one i think they said i don't know what's the difference i don't know joey would know more than anyone because joey's got it real bad joey needs the the c-pap like he has to have air below in his hole i love that i love him I love that guy. I love him too. He's probably

smoking weed right now on Paris. But anyway, so the guy was kind of stirring and moving and when he finally was opening his eyes and looking around, I talked to him and I had a long sit down with him and I showed him the mouthpiece and I go, dude, you could die.

I go, you hold your breath. I was going to film it, but I thought it would be rude to just film you but I mean you're holding your breath for a long time have you ever talked to anyone about it he's like no you know my wife tells me I snore I go dude you don't just snore you're like choking to death you know and there's a lot of people you don't know what happens when you go to sleep you're out and you sleep you're out and when you're out like that you're not getting any oxygen when you sleep. You don't get into heavy REM sleep. You're going to get into those deep cycles. You just skirt the edges.

And then you wake up because your body's gasping in panic mode. And so you wake up after like eight hours of sleep and you're still fucking exhausted. Every day I feel like I could go back to bed right when I wake up. Dude, you really should lose weight. I mean, you know that's a big – and so should Joey. Joey, I mean, that's a big thing with Joey. He's way, way, way overweight. And he got down a while just like you did. I mean, Joey lost like 80 fucking pounds at one point. But he gets energy from that CPAP. Like, he feels way better. Like, he travels with one. He has this machine that

he travels with that he has to check. I mean, so he always has to check his luggage because his carry-on is his CPAP machine. So he doesn't go anywhere without checking his luggage. Every flight he takes, Joey brings that machine with him. That is his fucking, that's his security system. You brought up earlier, you brought up Greg Fitzsimmons and that Bill Cosby thing.

What do you think about it? Because it makes me feel weird. I don't like it. It's misguided. I love Greg't like it. It's misguided. I love Greg, but I think it's misguided. And for folks who don't know what we're talking about, Greg has decided to start stealing Bill Cosby's material and doing it openly.

So he does these classic Bill Cosby bits, and then he lets everybody know in the middle of it that he's stealing Bill Cosby's bits to take away from him what is most precious. but it doesn't really work because it doesn't you don't like if someone tries to steal some shit off of like shiny happy jihad or something like that like it's already out it's already on cd i did it in you know fucking 2006 like if you're stealing you're not taking anything away from me you're just you're just you know you're just selling yourself short by stealing so like if Greg does Bill Cosby's material you don't ever take it away from him it's already recorded these are like he doesn't even do that

material anymore so I don't know I don't think it's really effective it seems like you're taking something negative and being negative about it it just doesn't seem it and I also think it it just opens the door to people go well greg stole bill cosby's jokes you know and uh but he says it on stage that he's stealing it he lets people know in the middle of it that he's stealing bill cosby's but greg fitzsimmons steals bill cosby's bits now he does he's doing it on purpose to try to take something from bill cosby like this is the idea behind it i think it's what it's like Bill Cosby would be super psyched on that because it's like wow I'm getting credit

for being funny and it's distracting people from me being a racist like wow there's actually something good about Bill Cosby that's completely defeating yeah I think it's a gimmick I see what he's like he's genuinely

thinks the guy's disgusting it's a gimmick. I mean, I see what he's like. He genuinely thinks the guy's disgusting. It's genuine. So let me glorify his comedy, but I don't get it. I don't get it either. I don't know. Maybe if I had him on, I'll have him on soon. And he's going to be on soon, I guess. We're talking about doing something within the next couple weeks.

So maybe he'll explain it better. I just, I don't know. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with it you know you know I'd say it's a fascinating there's a some lady that was on who was a legal expert who was discussing it and she said he might be the most prolific serial rapist in history which is fucking insane it's insane to look at it that way that this guy mr. huxtable you know the fucking guy from the tv show the guy who had the squeaky clean comedy the guy who did the bit about you know the football player saying hi mom to his son on tv this guy was like wholesome mr america in a

sweater but none of these girls like the next the next morning, well, God, what the fuck happened? He raped me. I am going to the police. This is all, you know, kind of, like, wishy-washy. Like, yeah, I kind of felt weird that night. But no one really went right to the police, though, did they? I don't know. I don't know. It just seems weird.

It doesn't seem weird to me. It seems like a lot of people just kind of, I don't know. Well, listen, man, if you're a're a girl okay look at it this way you're some young girl who's trying to make it in show business and you're you know you get brought into his office because you know his you know he knows your parents or something like that that was a lot of the situation like he there was one of one situation was there was like a modeling company and he would contact the modeling company to get people on his show like he was looking to cast roles that didn't even exist and he'd have them in his office drug him and his own casting yeah i mean he would bring them into his office and

drug them like would you like a cappuccino would you like a little cappuccino and give him a cappuccino and fuck him i mean just drug him i don't know it seems like if that were to happen though like four hours later this girl's like i just went there for an interview i had a cappuccino and give him a cappuccino and fuck him i mean just drug him i don't know it seems like if that were to happen though like four hours later this girl's like i just went there for an interview i had a cappuccino and he fucked me like you'd go right to the no this is why this is why no because i think for what i was going to say is like these these are young girls that are probably completely overwhelmed that they're even in his presence like they can't even believe that they're meeting bill Cosby So you're insanely starstruck and the fact that he's touching you puts you into a state of shock like you're fucked up

And then you're confused because you wake up and you were drugged You don't know what happened and then you're embarrassed and horrified of it. I mean, there's so many Mr. Huxtable exactly. It's like he's, this is before the internet, man. You know, if a girl like that, if that happened today, a girl could go on her Facebook page and say, today I went on an audition with Bill Cosby and he drugged me and raped me. And like, whoa, like, bam, that takes off and it goes viral. But back then, man, if you go to the fucking police, they might not say shit. Or they might go to Cosby and Cosby might sue you. But you then, man, if you go to the fucking police, they might not say shit. Or they might go to Cosby, and Cosby might sue you.

But you've got to realize some women did. And in 2005, he actually paid off women. And that's why this all got more serious lately is because they released the transcripts. And the transcripts said that he admitted that he had drugged these girls. He admitted it so this this did go to cops and it didn't go out to the public so it's like it's not kind of weird it's just the amount of power and money this guy i mean bill cosby's like a billionaire i mean the amount of money that guy has is insane and the amount of power that kind of money has where you're talking about just

teams of lawyers that just try to figure out any sort of attack that they could do to try to mitigate any of the issues that are going on with people accusing him of all this crazy you know rape shit it's like he he he fought it for a long time as he hasn't really publicly denied any of it right no he hasn't denied it at all he hasn't really publicly denied any of it, right? No, he hasn't denied it at all. He hasn't denied it at all. He just doesn't talk about it. You know?

Right. One of the weirdest things that he said, he did this one interview, and he said, in all my years of show business, I've never seen anything like this. Yeah, well, that's called free speech. This is what's going on now. Everyone can talk now. Now people can get online and talk about crimes that you committed. You can't hide behind lawyers anymore.

You can't threaten them. You can't. When you're a girl, you're barely paying your bills. You're barely getting by. And he offers you $20,000 or $100,000 to shut the fuck up and you have to sign some Written agreement it says you never speak about this again. You take that money That's what they do and that's what they did in 2005 and I don't know how much they got paid But it's probably even more than that probably a million

I mean when you when you're worth what that guy's made in his career I mean who knows what he's got left, but when someone a hundred thousand here a hundred thousand there for a guy like that it's nothing he could silence a lot of shit but just keeping people quiet with money you know and that's probably what happened when things came up I mean I don't know and then there's also people feet with fear of being blackballed you know being blackballed from show business when you're a struggling actress and you're a struggling actress and you're barely getting by,

the difference between Bill Cosby talking badly about you and accusing you of being a liar, like who's going to listen to you and who's going to listen to him? They've got to think that most people are going to listen to Bill Cosby, and that could wreck your career

before it ever gets started. Just sink your ship. And it seems like a lot of these girls that he preyed on were trying to make it in show business. That was a big part of what he would attack. He would go after these girls that were trying to become actresses. And he was like a mentor figure. That was like the angle that he was presenting.

It's dark shit, man. Yeah, how'd we get on that? I'd take one piss, man. Oh, we're talking about greg fitzsimmons greg fitzsimmons and his bill cosby uh strategy yeah i don't know it's kind of weird it's a little misguided i think i don't know i mean maybe greg's got a better point maybe we need to let him articulate it it's the darkest thing in all of the history of stand-up comedy i think i mean or or close to it you know i mean what else there was that vince champ guy that was raping college girls and he

got caught he would say like horrible shit to them like pray for me and stuff like while he's fucking them that guy's in jail for the rest of his life cosby's just out running around i mean it doesn't seem like there's any charges that are being put up against him and as far as i know there's only one woman that the the happened inside the Statue of Limitations. I don't know what the Statue of Limitations is, but I think it's like... Six or seven years. That's it?

That seems fucked. For rape? I think it's seven years, but that's kind of like, well, you know, it's a little wishy-washy. Meaning, like, if you've raped somebody and you have great proof eight years later, I'm sure they're still going to use it. I don't know.

I don't think that's the case. I think a statute of limitations is pretty rock solid. Is it? Yeah. Like double jeopardy and shit. Yeah. It's law. You know?

I don't know. It's fucked up. We've talked about that so many times. It's a subject that's been beaten to death. But it seems like it's so significant that you kind of have to beat it to death because it's hard to believe imagine if that was like your dad or something like that imagine you know if you found out your dad was a fucking serial rapist or your mom even your mom's drugging dude sucking their dicks taking pictures i remember an old bit i saw I saw you do about if your son came home from school and told you that his teacher sucked his dick, how pissed you would be.

Don't you ever ruin that. No, it's that he called the cops. That's what it was. My son called the police. How does someone ever find out that a female teacher molested a kid? One of those pussies has to open his mouth. Like, where was his dad? Right, right. He's a teacher. How does someone ever find out that a female teacher molested a kid? One of those pussies has to open his mouth. Like, where was his dad?

Right, right. If my son did that, I would be pissed. I'd be like, dude, you're fine. Yeah, okay. There's a giant difference between a woman molesting a boy and a man molesting a girl. I mean, I don't think it should be encouraged, but it's certainly not the same. Right.

Did you hear about Anonymous releasing all the KKK members' information? Good! Supposedly there's a lot of U.S. senators, police. I applaud you, Anonymous. I feel like Anonymous overall, across the board, does more good shit. I hear very hear very few bad accusations on their part.

Almost everything they do, I agree with. I love it. Like it. Good. Fuck the KKK. Fuck all those crazy fucking Stone Age assholes who give a shit about the origin of birth of your great-great-great grandparents. You're not pure! You're not of the pure

race! It's gonna be interesting, though, because supposedly there's some Ferguson police that are involved in this. And the whole list officially gets released, I think, next week or this week. Meanwhile, Brian's on it. Well, they could just put your name on it, man.

Somebody wanted to fuck with you. Steve-O's in the KKK. What? I don't know. Yeah. You've kind of morphed. It's really fascinating. I mean, seeing you go from being this wild, crazy, ketamine-snorting psychopath

jumping off roofs and shit and damaging your body to being this vegan who's trying to live a kind life and trying to be nice to people and you don't want to randomly hook up with girls because you want to have a meaningful relationship and you're taking care of animals and fuck sea world it's really amazing to see you uh become this yeah you know i mean every once in a while i gotta do something pretty fucked up just to make sure that I'm not a total pussy. Well, I didn't meet you until you were sober. Right.

You know, I missed the crazy train. I've kept it pretty crazy sober, too, though. Yeah, no doubt. Yeah. I mean, just explaining what you're planning on doing at the Paramount before they found out about it do you think there's going to be a Jackass 4K or something like that I don't think so man

but um everybody's getting old and fucking injuries the last one was so great I'm working my dick off to get my own movie oh yeah yeah like uh sort of like the bad grandpa format but instead of... Oh my God, was Bad Grandpa good.

Oh, yeah. That was a funny, funny fucking movie. I cried when he got his dick stuck in that machine. Oh my God, that was one of the funniest... That was a funny fucking movie that I don't think... It was really good. I don't think it got enough credit. I really don't think it got as much credit as it deserved.

I think it did well. It was number one. But it's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen in my life. And when you talk about funny all-time movies, very few people bring up Bad Grandpa. I think they should. I think it's a goddamn epic movie. There's a kid shitting on the wall, and when he's dancing, it's pretty funny. That kid's awesome.

I love the kid in there. When he goes to the black club with all the ladies and he's dancing, come on. Fuck yeah, dude. It's a fucking epic movie. Yeah. So do you have a movie that worked out or do you have an idea? Pretty much, yeah. I'm going to keep the cards.

Close to your chest? Yeah, dude. But I got to deal with big time movie producer guys. Oh, snap. I got a deal with a big-time movie producer guy. Oh, snap. Yeah, so now we're taking it and getting it written and get the director and then take it to the studio is kind of a deal. So we were talking about the damage that you've done.

It's early the fuck on. We were talking about the damage you've done to your body before you went off to pee. And you said esophageal issues. Yeah, it was called Barrett's esophagus. But that's it? Other than that? Pretty much, yeah. Like bones and joints and back and neck?

Yeah, joints are all good. That's crazy. What about Knoxville? Is he okay? He's got some back issues, I think. Is that from that bull? Which bull? The bull when he went blindfold and the bull washed him through the air?

Right, right. That wasn't a bull. It was a and the bull lost him to the air? Right, right. That wasn't a bull. It was a yak. Oh. That was a yak? I don't think that he got particularly hurt on that. I think that one thing that did a lot of damage to him was really early on dropping in on the skateboard half pipe, one of the big vert ramps. And he just fell straight to the flat

bottom and like i remember like hearing that like you know he turns his like turning the car like hurts you know his shoulders he definitely did more damage because like he he didn't have like the benefit of growing up like falling off a skateboard sort of learning how to fall down you know like when he like you know a lot of us are like sort of you know i mean i'm like you know sort of circus clown acrobat you know lifelong fucker by trade so yeah so yeah so i'm kind of more like like uh i'm better at falling down without getting hurt noxville like falls down it's just me hitting the ground in the worst way, which is why his shit's always the best. Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

Because you can do flips and all that shit, and you know how to fall with your body. Yeah, I'm more like a cat when it gets down to it, and Knoxville is just, you know. So I think that he's probably in worse shape. But then again, at the same time, I think that he takes good care of himself. I think maybe he's done some mending. He had some disc issues.

I don't know. Yeah, I've had a gang of those. I did my own stunts for this. Accidentally did my own stunts for this Kevin James movie I was in. I suck at riding bikes. I had to ride a bike and i had hit him with a flag which kevin james movie it was a zookeeper and i was okay yeah the guy the guy that i'm telling you about is the one who did that movie which guy todd garner oh the guy who the producer i know todd yeah he's a good dude i love todd um so i i had to hit the brake while i was like riding a bike and I was hitting him with this flag, but I'm hitting the front brake.

And when you, you know, you hit the front brake, if it locks, you go flying over the top. And I did it like three times. We wind up using that in the movie instead of the stuntman because I just want to go fucking flying. But I'm pretty good at falling. It was a lifelong, you know, martial artist. So all the like that i knew when i hit the ground that you can't just hit the ground you got to kind of like roll with it sure but uh you really have a real strong appreciation for stunt people when you do something like that

because i go well i got through this luckily without getting hurt but if i had to do this every fucking day or you know every week some new thing where you've fallen off of a building or jumping off of a fucking moving car. The potential for damaging yourself is super high. And you hear about those people dying. It's always like some movie that no one's going to give a fuck about. Some racing motorcycle scene in a Steven Seagal movie. And someone dies. When you watch those crazy action movies, think about that.

You know, I mean, you got to when you watch those crazy action movies, think about that. Appreciate the fact that those people, they literally put their physical health and their life on the line for your entertainment. You know, I didn't think about it too much until I just fucked up and fell a few times on a bike in a movie. You know, it's like those guys do it on purpose all the time. Yep. That's right, man. It's fucking hard gig, man. That's right, man. It's a fucking hard gig, man. That's a hard gig. I'm going to do it on purpose at the fucking Paramount

Theater. I want to see this now. I want to be there. Yeah, dude. Go. Why don't you go? Yeah. Yeah, there you go. No one's holding you back. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, let's wrap this bitch up. Steve O. Steve O. on Twitter.

Paramount Theater Theater November 21st Austin Texas Austin Texas I will be in Denver at that time I'm at the Belco Theater

on November 21st with the great Ian Edwards and then the 20th Ian Edwards epic I'm in Madison Wisconsin

on the 20th all that shit is on my website, joerogan.net in the tour section. Brian, what do you got going on? Wednesday, we're at

the Comedy Store, me and you. Oh, that's right. And Chris D'Elia. Oh, that's right. We have a secret show. And also me and Tony Hinchcliffe. And then there's some

secret guests. Yeah, some secret guests that would be really cool. One that rhymes with Bosch. Hopefully. And also me and Tony are bringing Kill Tony to Pittsburgh in Ohio

Thanksgiving week it's November 27th we'll be in Pittsburgh and November 29th in Ohio go to deathsquad.tv click on tour dates yee-haw

alright you fucks I got a podcast in one hour with Chris Ryan so I'll see you then bye bye big kiss yeah dude

thanks Joe thanks bud awesome you had a good time yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Thanks, Joe. Thanks, bud.